[Rant/Rave] Smaller than her.
/u/bbybluez
Created: Sun Jan 21 11:15:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rzc6e/smaller_than_her/
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[removed]
[Goal] Finally out of 50s!(Kg, metric)
/u/shook_shrimp [163cm | 49.7kg | 19.05 | Female]
Created: Sun Jan 21 11:01:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rz8gv/finally_out_of_50skg_metric/
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I've been ill for a week- stuck in bed. suffering. dying. Very much to my disappointment, my taste has really changed leaving me unable to have a binge and eat things I would normally enjoy. The only good thing that came out of all this is that I lost a ton of weight really quickly. I started with around 52kg and today, after weighing myself, I'm 49.7kg :) Might not be a huge amount or an amazing weight but the 5, in the beginning, was really disappointing. My starting weight for 2017 was 48, which is what I want to get back to as soon as it's possible :) I failed to lose weight and fell into a weird binge cycle but I think that 2018 will be my year
[Intro] Long time ED, long time lurker, now I'm here!
/u/spiNACHOcolate [Height:1m70 | CW:55.5kg | HW:69kg | GW:52kg | F]
Created: Sun Jan 21 11:00:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rz8c1/long_time_ed_long_time_lurker_now_im_here/
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Hi! As the title suggests I've been a long time lurker on this sub. I've had various EDs for 7 years and have been in recovery from anorexia for just under two years. At my highest I was 69kg, my lowest in 2016 was 48kg, and now I'm around 55kg; runner, vegetarian, full-time student.
Well, recovery wasn't making me anything but fat and even more unhappy, so I've given in and have made a second reddit, and I plan to lose just under 4kg in as little time as possible.
It feels like somewhat of a sneaky relief, relapsing back. I found being thin almost euphoric - the light-headedness which made me feel drunk all the time, the fact that when I ran there was nothing bouncing around in all the wrong places, and it's much cheaper to eat when you're not.
Anyway, that's my little introduction. Here I am. I am pleased to join your community officially. (I am pro-advice and pro-support - for those in recovery, I support that; for those wanting to lose a little more, I support that; for those hitting goals, that too)
[Rant/Rave] Welp, I'm done with recovery since my waist is now almost 30" around.
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 141.5 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jan 21 10:14:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ryxem/welp_im_done_with_recovery_since_my_waist_is_now/
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Fuck. I am almost at my HW again. I dislike my body. And I'm off Abilify, so my appetite is reduced, so I'm going to start restricting again. I'm sorry v_v Because I know my DIY recovery posts meant a lot to some of you. I just can't recover while living with my parents because they have junk food in the house ALL THE DAMN TIME. And I can't resist it AND try to recover at the same time. So I'm going to go back to the restrict/binge cycle I guess... Hopefully I binge less often. Thanks for reading.
[Other] so I've started vlogging
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | 119 | 19.23 | 13.4kg | 27.7-]
Created: Sun Jan 21 10:13:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ryx6g/so_ive_started_vlogging/
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and y'all know me, i am THIRSTY for that attention.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCITQWnJFmUgw1MPFRKxRryQ?view_as=subscriber
this should work, i think.
sorry if self-promoting breaks any rules. just tell me and i'll take it down. it is about ed stuff btw or it's supposed to be anyways. i hope you guys can stand my face.
[Other] Lovin compliments from customers!!
/u/-teaqueen- [5'3" | 115 | 20.37 | -20 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 21 09:05:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ryho9/lovin_compliments_from_customers/
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I work coffee and I was talking to a customer about our muffins and how they're good and she said "then how are you so skinny?!?"
It's the first time I've heard that since I went on my meds at 17 that made me gain weight. And I'm 23 now! I missed hearing it. Thank you lady for the self esteem boost!!!
Also....
I don't eat our muffins! That's how. (They are amazing though)
[Help] Starbucks recommendation?
/u/321Model [5'4| GW: 150 | 30's/F]
Created: Sun Jan 21 08:58:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ryg3q/starbucks_recommendation/
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I got a $5 gift card to spend. What vegan drinks do you recommend? Thank you!
[Help] There was blood in my vomit... I'm going to be okay right?
/u/KissMySlitWrist [Moo]
Created: Sun Jan 21 07:17:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rxwet/there_was_blood_in_my_vomit_im_going_to_be_okay/
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I don't vomit often but my throat is bleeding and hurts really bad and I trust you guys and I just really want someone to tell me I'm not dying or something
[Discussion] What's your BFF or Best Food Friend?
/u/SgtSarah [5'1 | 93 | 18.4 | -21| F]
Created: Sun Jan 21 06:30:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rxoof/whats_your_bff_or_best_food_friend/
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Mine's green tea. It tastes so nice and even if the health benefits are debatable, it's nearly no calories so I can fill up without feeling bad
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! January 21, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jan 21 05:11:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rxdfw/daily_food_diary_january_21_2018/
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This is a daily food diary thread for January 21, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your favorite recipes!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jan 21 05:10:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rxdbu/sunday_share_your_favorite_recipes/
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Looking for memes? [Right this way~](/r/ProEDmemes)!
[Rant/Rave] Bitter motivation
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 21 04:54:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rxb82/bitter_motivation/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] UK sizes?
/u/carcinogenicmilk [5’6” | 99 lbs | BMI 16 | -11 lbs | f]
Created: Sun Jan 21 04:47:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rxac7/uk_sizes/
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Does anyone else’s sizes fluctuate incredibly so? I’m sometimes a UK4 in tops, then a UK6 for jeans and I recently had to buy a UK10 jacket from urban outfitters. Do you guys have such varying sizes? Also a quick note about shoe sizes, is UK3 too small for a 5’6” frame? Thanks :)
[Discussion] Anyone else hates /r/fatlogic?
/u/-Merendis-
Created: Sun Jan 21 04:17:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rx6vc/anyone_else_hates_rfatlogic/
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I couldnt find more triggering stuff in the meanest pro-ana places. They are all for "logic" and "science" yet they are absolutely fine with people being underweight AS LONG AS THEY LOOK GOOD. I have seen people commenting that ribs/sternum showing is fine because bone structure or whatever. It really seems like they think the lower BMI and BF% the better and more attractive. I bet if i posted pictures there they would tell me i could stand to lose a few pounds.
Idk why it bothers me so much...maybe because they are supposed to be "normal" people. If people really think like this i have no choice but to starve until there is no fat left on my body because i wont ever be attractive otherwise.
[Rant/Rave] i broke my foot and i’m it’s going to make me lose my mind
/u/desde-siempre [5'3" | CW 115 | GW 100 | 26F]
Created: Sun Jan 21 02:08:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rwrpb/i_broke_my_foot_and_im_its_going_to_make_me_lose/
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i’m an exercise freak and i got a stress fracture in my foot last week. i have very little to no problems pushing through the pain of injuries, like muscular or whatever, but this is something different. the pain is nauseating, i physically can’t even walk normal let alone run... i’ve been going to the gym to lift anyway and i’ve definitely made it worse and now i’m laying in bed miserable about my stupid foot and trying to come up with ways to not lose my sanity entirely without exercise...
everyone keeps telling me to just rest and to relax but they don’t understand, exercising is like integral to my self worth. if i don’t work out i don’t deserve to eat anything. it’s the only thing that i have that distracts me from my anxiety. how am i supposed to relax when all the calories i’ve eaten in the past 24 hours are turning into fat while i lay here in bed 😣 i know it’s probably super irrational but i just can’t deal with this.
[Rant/Rave] I HAVE A THIGH GAP. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
/u/AnaTroi [5'9" | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 21 00:12:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rwd8x/i_have_a_thigh_gap_this_is_not_a_drill/
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I don't know where it came from. I don't know when it appeared. It's a freaking miracle. [[thigh gap dance break]]
It's really cold here today and I took a super hot bath to try to warm up. I don't normally pay much attention to my legs because they're just awful, TBH. But I happened to look down at them in the bath and noticed the smallest of gaps. I thought it was just the way I was sitting, but it's there when I'm standing, too! 🎉
The last few days have been major self esteem boosters. I'm an actor, and the costumer for the play I'm currently in gave me serious hell yesterday at a fitting because I've lost so much weight since the last fitting. And at rehearsal the day before, someone made a crack about my weight and said, "What do you weigh, 13 pounds?!"
Too bad I can't be happy enough to just be. All it does it just motivate me to lose more. 🤷🏻♀️
[Help] Do you guys get hunger pains? How do you guys deal with it?
/u/desperatetogo [165cm | CW: 63 | GW: 45 | -5 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 21 00:09:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rwcwc/do_you_guys_get_hunger_pains_how_do_you_guys_deal/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I am stupid//Heartbreak
/u/commtra [5'7 | BMI: 20 | GW:100 | -44 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 20 23:54:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rwalg/i_am_stupidheartbreak/
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To put a long story into a few short sentences: I thought I had something with a guy I kind of really liked. I’m awful at expressing feelings so I never acted upon it or even talked about it with anyone.
But that doesn’t matter anymore cause some time ago, his girlfriend introduced herself. Small max 5’2 girl who probably weighs about 80lbs.
I am really sad, anxious and heartbroken but I still made this about my ED. Of course I can’t get anyone bc I’m not skinny. I’ve been really learning to love myself these past few months and now it’s all come
crashing down.
I get so annoyed when my mom asks what I'm eating.
/u/Thekillersofficial
Created: Sat Jan 20 23:46:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rw9ip/i_get_so_annoyed_when_my_mom_asks_what_im_eating/
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[removed]
[Intro] IBD, ED & me
/u/ConsciousAppearance
Created: Sat Jan 20 23:27:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rw6ok/ibd_ed_me/
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Hello,
This may be long so please bear with me. I've debated making an account to speak with you wonderful people for over a year & now, in crisis...here I am. I am 31, female, 5"3 & 81lbs (last time I checked).
I believe I have had anorexia on & off since I was about 15. I also have Ulcerative Colitis which I believe is exacerbated by the ED. I am under a lot of medical scrutiny at the moment as I am beginning new drugs/infusions for my colitis - my weight is being monitored. & it is frustrating & upsetting as no one has any idea I have a food problem at all. Family, doctors, everyone just wants to see me gain weight. My rapid weight loss I explained away using my flare as an excuse but now I'm on new medications they, of course, expect weight gain as a sign of improvement in my disease.
My husband is in control of the grocery shopping as he has the car & the money. He has recently bought me all high fat things totally replacing my 0% fat yogurt & rice cakes with full fat versions & extra snacks & nuts. Without asking me. Just assuming this would be what I want. Like a normal person would if they'd been told to gain by a medical professional. But I'm not normal.
Because of all this he watches me. Skipping food is out of the question on a weekend as he is here & I don't want to raise suspicion. The problem now is that even during the week while he is at work (I am a stay at home Mum to a 2 year old) I find myself *ravenous*. Suddenly eating all these foods seems to have triggered off some sort of binge behaviour & times when I have the opportunity to fast I just...can't! I end up binging daily & have turned to purging! This time in the bathroom can be explained away by my current flare up if it happens on a weekend day.
It's embarrassing & I am so ashamed of myself! It makes my UC worse & I am constantly bloated & horrendously gassy. I don't dare weigh myself as I'm sure I'm massively gaining. I'm uncomfortable in my skin & feel constantly miserable.
Then I start to think- maybe I should try self recovery! Sure, just eat at maintenance & it'll all be fine. But then I realise I don't want to look normal. I *like* looking skeletal & frail. I enjoy the power I have when I can control my food intake. But that power seems to have left me.
I don't know what the purpose of this post is but you all seem so welcoming & I'm just having a really rough time at the moment & needed to let it out. I've never told anyone I struggle before & it's been eating me up inside (no pun intended!).
On the one hand I want to recover for my daughter. I want energy to play with her & not to be short tempered when she misbehaves or distracted thinking about calories & food! On the other...this is mine! I have nothing else. No job, no friends, I can't drive & live in the middle of nowhere in a small town in the UK. I'm so isolated & stuck. I'm just so unhappy.
Thankyou so much for listening. Be well, be safe.
[Discussion] Bf triggers me
/u/chocolattts [5'5"|CW:125|GW:105|21F]
Created: Sat Jan 20 21:18:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rvm4b/bf_triggers_me/
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I've kind of noticed him body checking me in certain ways lately. He'll wrap his fingers around my wrist and stuff...
He has no idea I'm bulimic tho he does know I've restricted in the past (I used to restrict primarily; I've gained like 15lbs since then)
He says he likes my body now and doesn't notice a difference if I say I've gained weight (bless his heart). He truly is really kind and I know he'd never imply or say anything bad about my body, he is always trying to make me feel good.
But I'm just not sure how to feel about him feeling the bones on my wrist and stuff? I know it seems like not a huge issue but idk.
Also I'm very sure he has no eating issues of his own.
Anyone else relate?
[Rant/Rave] comment from someone I hadn't seen in awhile made me feel...something?
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 102 | F 🍍]
Created: Sat Jan 20 21:17:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rvlwo/comment_from_someone_i_hadnt_seen_in_awhile_made/
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so I went out to an arcade for a friend's birthday, bunches of people and we all kept splitting up and remeeting. anyways, one is my friends roommate who I haven't seen really since we had a fling over a year ago (around my lw). when we ended up along we made some small talk.
him: "you look healthy. I mean, sorry that's probably weird. I'm tired."
me: "oh that's, haha, thanks?"
him: "I mean you look good."
me: "well thanks, you do too."
and after some.more talk, our friends came back, and my brain just ran in ten different directions with that. I mean I've been trying to be healthier lately, I'm at bmi 18 instead of 16.9 (when he last saw me) and have been working out instead of just restricting. so that's what I want to hear, right? why did part of me feel sad/upset at what he said? why did part of me feel embarrassed ? why did none of me want to hear that?
and why can't I just talk to my boyfriend about all this?? I want to, but he gets jealous kinda easily and I don't want to explain the fling part to get to the ed shit that makes my brain spin. so again, you guys are the only ones who understand... so will this make me restrict harder tomorrow? or stay 'healthy?' text your votes now to #FUCKMYED!
[Help] Help me with a diet plan!
/u/Thenomadicprincess
Created: Sat Jan 20 20:57:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rvi6p/help_me_with_a_diet_plan/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Best diet soda healthwise
/u/cxwang
Created: Sat Jan 20 20:49:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rvgwk/best_diet_soda_healthwise/
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Not taking taste and preferences into consideration, has anyone done any research on which diet soda is “best” healthwise? As in lowest levels of artificial sweetener, fewer additives, etc?
[Rant/Rave] So this feels normal now and I don't know whether to be proud of ashamed.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sat Jan 20 20:33:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rvdqs/so_this_feels_normal_now_and_i_dont_know_whether/
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On mobile flair as rant rave
I've restricted heavy below 500 calories for over a week now without too much issue I even managed small tastes of what would normally be fear foods for me. I had an onion ring and a bite of a potato and it was enough for me. I don't feel deprived really I am getting enough taste from things and actually getting partial to eating smaller amounts and raw veggies.
It feels weird and I'm anxious for if it changes for some reason like if someone wants to go out I don't want to eat a whole plate of food just like two to three bites to get the taste then quit.
Anyone else feel this way after restricting. This is the lowest I've gone on a whole for this long too..
Willow.
[Other] I realized something today
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 20 20:30:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rvd8b/i_realized_something_today/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] I found this article very interesting, thoughts anyone?
/u/hopeless_anon [5'5 | CW: 89 | BMI 14.8| 17F]
Created: Sat Jan 20 20:24:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rvc34/i_found_this_article_very_interesting_thoughts/
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https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2016/03/treating-anorexia-in-adults/475845/
[Discussion] Do y'all feel like you get higher when smoking weed while fasting?
/u/pleasegodnofuck [5'3 | 852lbs | 155.1 | -11lbs | ?]
Created: Sat Jan 20 20:03:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rv80w/do_yall_feel_like_you_get_higher_when_smoking/
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I live in Colorado, so fuck you, eating disordered cop reading this.
[Rant/Rave] She took everything
/u/Elizawitch [5'3" | Female | CW: 100lbs | GW: 90lbs | UGW: 85lbs]
Created: Sat Jan 20 19:54:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rv6cu/she_took_everything/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] i'm losing all my safe foods
/u/TinyTinyCleverCDR [bulimiaayy lmao]
Created: Sat Jan 20 19:51:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rv5rz/im_losing_all_my_safe_foods/
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I just binged 5 whole packets of rice cakes. That is a grand total of 70. Almost 2500 kcal of just goddamn rice cakes. And I would have just kept going if I hadn't run out.
Just. Fuck. I really can't have any food in the house at all. Nothing is safe.
[Help] Tips for better BMs? (My poop sucks!!)
/u/chillvulcan
Created: Sat Jan 20 18:57:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ruv23/tips_for_better_bms_my_poop_sucks/
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Okay so I created a throwaway to post here since my other account uses my real name (ballsy) I know.
For the past few months I've been having only one BM every other day if I'm lucky, and I always seem to be constipated. Which makes no sense cause I pee all day.
I consume about 500 -1000 calories per day, I drink tons of water, and I have a small cup of oatmeal every day. I eat tons of fiber through fruits and veggies. I walk/run a few miles per day.
Does anyone else have this issue?? I'm nervous to take laxatives cause I don't want to abuse them. If it's important I'm also vegan.
I'm wondering if it's stress related and I just hold in my BMs cause I do with with farts with out even trying. Maybe I'm permanently just clenching my butthole.
[Discussion] DAE purge whenever they feel full?
/u/gross9876 [5' 3" | 120 | 21.6 | not a girl]
Created: Sat Jan 20 18:17:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7run0v/dae_purge_whenever_they_feel_full/
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I am so fucked up!
So as I've said before, I like...use self-pleasure as a mood booster when I'm restricting. But now if I'm full I can't have sexual thoughts.
I ate real food tonight instead of More Boiled Vegetables because I was sad. I was still sad after having that food, so I wanted to you know...but I can't because I'm full.
I feel disgusted by the feeling of being full on its own regardless, even if I'm full from plain broccoli.
So yeah. Everything compounds and I just have to purge
Use to be skinner
/u/Ughwhysigh
Created: Sat Jan 20 18:12:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rulvc/use_to_be_skinner/
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[removed]
never enough
/u/givemebonyknees
Created: Sat Jan 20 18:08:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rul7f/never_enough/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] What's the point?
/u/cloudy_gaze [5'3.5" | 91lbs | 15.9 |20F]
Created: Sat Jan 20 17:59:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ruj8l/whats_the_point/
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In every movie about eating disorders the girl has a great life until she suddenly becomes self-conscious about her weight and develops anorexia. But once she gets "cured" her life goes back to being full of light and happiness.
But what's the point if your life was shit before all of this started? Why should I bother "recovering" if I'm just going from skinny and depressed to fat and depressed? In the end I'm going to end up going right back to the same tried and true coping mechanism.
[Rant/Rave] Nothing in my closet fits.....
/u/-momoyome- [5"3' | HW: 270 CW: 183 GW: 99 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 20 17:47:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rugts/nothing_in_my_closet_fits/
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....because all my clothes are too big!!
But.... now nothing fits. It sucked gaining weight and having no clothes to wear because my fat ass could hardly fit into size 18s. This feeling I get when I put on size 12s and see the butt sag is almost euphoria. The bad thing is I went to Target (the land of LIES when it comes to clothing sizes but it’s the closest clothing store) and I couldn’t find too much on clearance for size 8-10. I don’t wanna spend too much because they won’t fit in a few weeks and there were no jeans on clearance sized 10. I did get a pair of shorts though! They were SIZE 8. I have never been single number sizes!
This was all over the place, but yeah. Woooooo. I have no control over so much going on but at least I can easily change my appearance.
[Other] Just because it's simple doesn't mean it's easy.
/u/asocialghost [5'2 | CW: 99 | GW:90 | 23F]
Created: Sat Jan 20 17:34:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rudxj/just_because_its_simple_doesnt_mean_its_easy/
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whatever it is, it's going to be okay.
you're going to be okay.
each day is a fresh start ♥
Should I be worried?
/u/giggity23
Created: Sat Jan 20 17:02:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ru72w/should_i_be_worried/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] just purged for the first time
/u/seiiten
Created: Sat Jan 20 16:58:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ru68w/just_purged_for_the_first_time/
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hey hey hey!! it’s your friendly neighborhood trash can who just fucked up her fast and purged!!!!
i cannot stop crying, though. even though probably less than half the food came out, the fact of the matter is that i just realized how far deep i’m in.
a normal person would probably just shake it off and say something like “There’s always next time!” but my stupid ED-brain keeps telling me i’m a failure— for failing to keep to my fast, and even failing to get all the food out!
the only upside is that my throat hurts, so i probably won’t eat for the rest of today!~~
(on mobile and can’t flair, sorry mods)
cringey moment today
/u/fxuk [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Sat Jan 20 16:46:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ru3l6/cringey_moment_today/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Breaking News: Restricting causes good luck
/u/fattyfatty2-4 [5'6" | CW: too fat | GW: less fat | 22F]
Created: Sat Jan 20 15:30:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rtmyp/breaking_news_restricting_causes_good_luck/
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I've been on an amazing streak of restriction for a few weeks (unheard of for me lol kill me) and so far I've heard nothing but acceptances from the graduate programs I've applied to and heard back from. Not even a waitlist! Moral of the story: this is proof enough that I need to keep restricting and more good luck will come my way!!!
[Discussion] Eugenia cooney
/u/Patthestripper
Created: Sat Jan 20 15:25:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rtlx4/eugenia_cooney/
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Sorry if anything similar has recently been posted I just needed somewhere to rant.
I'm currently in recovery and if there's 1 thing that can make me want to relapse again its eugenia cooney. I've watched her get thinner and thinner and she's now on deaths door. Before recovery I saw her as motivation and that, but now i'm so infuriated by seeing her I just find it mad that's she's able to continue to post vids when it's so clear she's ill and causing young people to be triggered by her. If she was around when I was a teen that shit would've made me so ill.
Her insta comments are full of teens saying goals and how much they want to be like her, IT'S SICK AND SHE DOES NOTHING TO STOP IT!!
Am I alone in thinking it's fucked up she can post videos in skimpy outfits claiming to see how much her style has changed, when in reality she's showing just how much she's lost with clothes literally FALLING OFF?!! It makes me so sad and angry
I hope she gets better but I'm kinda sick of feeling sorry for her, she must know the damage she causes surely
Finally back to 1lb away from my SW :/
/u/princesskittybitch [5'2" | 112 | 20.5 | -18 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 20 15:19:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rtkl2/finally_back_to_1lb_away_from_my_sw/
---
https://imgur.com/tCfmYtN
[Rant/Rave] I’m a mess!
/u/spaceepixiee
Created: Sat Jan 20 13:41:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rsynp/im_a_mess/
---
Just wanted to vent:
I’m restricting like crazy, my throat is raw from purging, I’m anxious and paranoid, I’ve taken three naps today, and I’m breaking down over the smallest things. I’m also refusing to seek help and self destructing. I’m really worrying people, but hey, at least I’m small!
:( :( :(
[Rant/Rave] Big Fat Failure
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 20 13:38:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rsy2s/big_fat_failure/
---
[deleted]
[Goal] I got insulted last night and it made me happier than I had been in weeks ☺️
/u/senpai_no_oppai_da [Height: 170cm | 25F | CW: 🐖💨]
Created: Sat Jan 20 13:37:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rsxw8/i_got_insulted_last_night_and_it_made_me_happier/
---
My boyfriend and I got invited to a nightclub with some of his friends late last night. I decided to get the drinks for us and waited to be served at the bar. While there, a lady in front of me turned too quickly, with her drinks in hand, and bumped into me, spilling some of her alcohol on my dress.
‘Move, you **skinny** bitch!’ she said.
I replied with ‘sorry’; but at that point I was already beaming.
Someone has finally noticed my efforts after purging everyday and fasting for so long! Not even my SO mentions my losses (or gains, however you want to look at it). I had the widest smile for the rest of the night.
------
Just wanted to share this tiny win with you guys LOLL 😅😅
[Help] Uncomfortable with my boyfriend's weight...
/u/deadestpoet
Created: Sat Jan 20 12:33:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rsi7f/uncomfortable_with_my_boyfriends_weight/
---
I've been dating my boyfriend for about four months, and I'm heading into a rough patch with my eating issues (restricting to about 1000 calories a day, obsessing over control, pretty intense anxiety, you get the idea) and I've found myself being less attracted to my boyfriend. I'm still attracted to him, just not as much as before, and sometimes when I see him from certain angles I get that really uncomfortable feeling that I get about my own body. I think he's gained a little weight lately, but I'm not sure. He's by no means overweight, just looks a bit less toned than he used to. I don't know what to do, cause I don't want to fake attraction, but I don't wanna talk to him about it either cause he knows about my ED behaviors and stuff. I just get uncomfortable during sex and it makes me more self conscious...
Any advice, anyone?
[Rant/Rave] Fasting is making me so hangry. So. Not. Happy. 36hrs.
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jan 20 12:16:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rsef3/fasting_is_making_me_so_hangry_so_not_happy_36hrs/
---
I'm a binge eater. I know I'm a binge eater. I go through binge purge cycles like a mad person. I can't... fuck... I did so well for so long. Now I'm fasting for the first time in almost 2 years. It's awful. Everything is food. Everything is eating. Every tv show and commercial and Instagram post and lies lies lies these people pretending to eat food in advertisements... This is bullshit.
[Help] Tips for eating with BF on the weekends?.
/u/MyBunnyisMean
Created: Sat Jan 20 11:59:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rsaka/tips_for_eating_with_bf_on_the_weekends/
---
So, I had successfully lost 10lbs (from 120 to 110), it was pretty quick because I would only eat dinner with my boyfriend after he came back from work and skip breakfast and lunch. However, during a weekend we got into an argument because I wouldn’t eat lunch with him. He ended the argument saying “When I want you to eat with me, eat with me” and that was it. After that I started eating any time he did, including desserts. I do enjoy it but I’ve gained the weight back and all I want to do is at least go back to 110. Anyone got any tips for the times we’re together for breakfast and lunch?. Weekdays are no problems but weekends and holidays are tricky since he does have to eat and I have to eat with him as well and I don’t want to seem ungrateful or make him feel awkward.
[Help] Dosing for first EC stack....want more?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 20 11:53:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rs95q/dosing_for_first_ec_stackwant_more/
---
[deleted]
[Help] My mum is getting suspicious and involved
/u/YetAnotherCrazyGirl
Created: Sat Jan 20 11:51:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rs8ub/my_mum_is_getting_suspicious_and_involved/
---
I've struggled with binging and fasting since I was about 13 (I'm 16 now) and recently I've tried kicking the binging part out of my life.
Since early December I've been eating less than 500 kcal a day and fasting if I go over. I've been pretty good with keeping it a secret but all of a sudden a few weeks ago my mum has started picking up on how much attention I pay to calories and is getting involved.
She is buying me TONS of low-calorie snacks, too many for me to eat, and keeps nagging me about not skipping meals even though she has no proof or indication that I have been.
She keeps telling me that it's important I eat this, that and the other and I'm fairly sure she's been going through my rubbish bin in my room while I'm asleep to look for uneaten food.
After every meal she's started asking "did you eat it all?" And when I say yes she asks "are you sure?" Like she doesn't believe me - even when I have eaten it.
It's frustrating and I feel like she's taking the control away from me. I don't know what to do.
[Rant/Rave] The struggle, in a nutshell
/u/13959470 [5'4" | 109.4 | 18.8 | ~30 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 20 11:28:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rs3lm/the_struggle_in_a_nutshell/
---
my brain when I eat anything: “fuck, what am I doing to myself?! This is fucked and I need to get my life together..”
my brain when I don’t eat anything: “fuck, what am I doing to myself?! This is fucked and I need to get my life together.”
It gets tiring...
well wishes to those of you going through the same vicious cycle. Hope you have a happy day today ❤️
[Tip] rice cakes instead of bread!
/u/sweettutu64 [5'3 | -51.4 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jan 20 11:20:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rs1s5/rice_cakes_instead_of_bread/
---
holy heck! I have no idea why I didn't think of this before but I am a sandwich fiend and let me tell you that using a plain rice cake instead of bread or toast is so flipping satisfying. it's crunchy like toast, and bigger than those thin low calories bread slices.
[Discussion] Insane weight fluctuations?!
/u/renewtheplaintiff [5'2 | cw: ~101 | gw: 90 | F23]
Created: Sat Jan 20 11:09:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rrzan/insane_weight_fluctuations/
---
I usually weigh myself the moment I get up in the mornings. Today was 99.2lbs. Happy with that, I decided to eat two small pieces of avocado toast, drink coffee, and shower. Weighed myself after - 102.4lbs?!
I know my scale works perfectly, and it's not like I had a huge meal to warrant a 3.2lb weight gain. Besides water retention, is there any explanation for such insane fluctuations after only a couple hours?
[Discussion] January 20th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 20 08:41:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rr2li/january_20th_2018_question_of_the_day/
---
Are you holding a grudge? About?
[Rant/Rave] Can we talk about water retention after sodium binges? (Especially fellow Asians? We get the worst swollen eyelid problems)
/u/ignorado [🍑: ignorado]
Created: Sat Jan 20 08:22:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rqy59/can_we_talk_about_water_retention_after_sodium/
---
Seriously I had three bowls of soup last night and I can barely open my eyelids. Idk if white people deal with this but since Asians have hooded/mono eyelids, water retention FUCKS UP OUR EYELIDS SO BADLY. My double eyelid goes away or moves down to my eyelashes and I have to struggle to open my eyes. Oh god.
What are some good ways to get rid of all the water without diuretic pills?
I find that cold showers help soothe the irritation if water retention fucks up your face like it does to me
[Help] all gone down hill
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Sat Jan 20 08:21:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rqy11/all_gone_down_hill/
---
I started this week at my lowest weight, binge and purge free and restricting great. My exams began and so did my period and since then i’ve eaten over maintenance everyday, gained a pound, and can’t stop eating no matter what. Ive been purging but can’t even do that as successfully as usual. I have two more exams next week and i’m determined to get back on track after that. I look and feel so disgusting. Please any advice, comfort or just permission to eat i guess appreciated :(
[Intro] I just started again
/u/4catslol [5'1" CW 140 | HW 144 | LW 92 | GW 95]
Created: Sat Jan 20 08:07:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rqv4j/i_just_started_again/
---
I have had a terrible yo-yo weight since sophomore year of high school. I had always been fat (like 125-130lb 5"1) and something clicked in me that year and I restricted. I never realized how obvious it was that year. I'd literally take for lunch some spinach leaves with raspberry vinaigrette so people wouldn't think I was weird for not eating. But that was even weirder bc nobody just eats plain spinach with vinaigrette lmao. I would also take around this absolutely nasty tea in a metal thermos that just made it taste like metal. Lowest I got was 92lb and I don't remember what happened after that. Just stopped trying I guess.
Second time was in freshman year of college. I think it actually ruined my year since I switched to community college after the first semester since I failed trig. I was 130lb again and I met this boy online and all I could think about was being thin enough to be with him. When he finally came over to my dorm for the first time I was 107lb. It had only taken me a month to lose 23lb. I eventually got to 102 and once again just stopped and gained it all back with a vengeance.
So now I'm 143lb. Or I was. Have dropped 3lb in the past 3 days. Started EC stacking and I love it. One day had 120cals of soup, next day fasted without trying, yesterday ate a hot pocket and it made me really full but didn't hate myself because I was still under 500 cals.
What I need to work on is, from what I've read, common. In the past whenever I would see a new LW I would fucking binge the rest of the day. Then gain, then it would happen again the next new LW. So far I haven't felt even the thought of binging... I think it won't happen this much because I've already gone through every LW I've ever had, twice. I really really don't want to binge because I want to lose 20lb by March 12th (bf coming over! somehow he still stays with me as a garbage monster). Is it possible to lose 20lb in 50 days?
Anyway I just wanted to type this all out because I found this sub and I've been reading it these past days and it's very motivating. It also helped me with the EC stacks and how to get them. I've felt really giddy and happy these past days because I finally got back on track after LITERALLY A YEAR OF BEING A GARBAGE MONSTER.
c:
[Rant/Rave] B/p bender
/u/321Model [5'4| GW: 150 | 30's/F]
Created: Sat Jan 20 07:40:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rqpzr/bp_bender/
---
As of last night I've been on a 2 day binge bender. I used my lunch hour on Thursday to go to the market and pick up a ton of food, some of which I scarfed down in the car and rest I ate stealthily at my desk. I then purged it at work (luckily we have single bathrooms). Yesterday I ended up buying more crap along with three sandwiches I made at home and purged what I could.
I woke up this morning with the feeling of it still in my throat vowing to not binge again. Yet here I am now with the thoughts of binging creeping in again. I'm so tired of this.
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! January 20, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jan 20 05:11:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rq1xq/stupid_questions_saturday_january_20_2018/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for January 20, 2018.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! January 20, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jan 20 05:10:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rq1u7/daily_food_diary_january_20_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 20, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] Does anyone else buy clothes that are too small for them to motivate them to lose weight?
/u/skincarer_
Created: Sat Jan 20 04:17:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rputc/does_anyone_else_buy_clothes_that_are_too_small/
---
Half my wardrobe and I can't even wear it...
[Discussion] Hate messages for being active on this sub
/u/hopeless_anon [5'5 | CW: 89 | BMI 14.8| 17F]
Created: Sat Jan 20 02:40:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rpiad/hate_messages_for_being_active_on_this_sub/
---
Sorry I couldn't think of a better title for this post but its just so frustrating. I used to have another account that I was fairly active on this sub but all my stuff would get downvoted to hell if I posted on normal subs just bc I'm active here. Eventually I deleted it because all the hate.
What the fuck?? Why are people so mean to those suffering from this sort of thing? I don't think people would get hate messages for posting on r/depression. I just wish people would understand this is not a fucking choice.
[Rant/Rave] Disgusted and depressed and disgusted... and depressed.
/u/UnskinnyVegan [171cm | Too high | Too high | Ick | ]
Created: Sat Jan 20 01:45:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rpbdf/disgusted_and_depressed_and_disgusted_and/
---
I just got news that my grandmother passed away. It was a "Fuck it" moment for me... I just ate a bunch of ice cream and chocolate.
Now I feel disgusted at myself. Disgusted for feeling the food inside me. Disgusted for feeling sorry for myself when I should be sad...
... but I am sad. I am devastated to the point where my eyes are raw, my nose, throat, and lungs hurt from hyperventilating, and yet... I can't stop the crying and the panic attacks.
But I also feel disgusted. I want to run. I want to be thinner. I want all of this to be over. Life sucks and it just keeps getting harder.
[Discussion] Anyone feel really nauseous after a major binge?
/u/hollowedheart_ [5'7" | CW 126 | GW 125 | UGW 120 |]
Created: Sat Jan 20 00:49:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rp3ss/anyone_feel_really_nauseous_after_a_major_binge/
---
I guess because our bodies are used to restricting so much it's like a shock when we eat a lot at once? -Triggering nausea. I've now realized I'd rather feel really hungry than super full. Tonight I feel *beyond* full. The fullest I've ever felt. I even started eating some cheese puffs after I was really full. I couldn't stop. Probably ate 1,000 if not more calories. Cookies, cheese and crackers, a bite of pizza, almond butter, etc etc etc!!!!!
Nothing more fun than editing your flair to show you've gained.
/u/Squirrella [5ft | CW 165| GW 100| 38 F]
Created: Sat Jan 20 00:17:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rozhb/nothing_more_fun_than_editing_your_flair_to_show/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] To whoever mentioned magnesium killing chocolate cravings...
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | CW: 119 | GW: small | F]
Created: Fri Jan 19 23:46:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rous2/to_whoever_mentioned_magnesium_killing_chocolate/
---
YOU ARE SO RIGHT. I AM SORRY I DOUBTED YOU.
I've been binging on chocolate since around the time winter break started... So maybe a month? Started taking a Ca/Mg/Zn supplement for bones + better BMs. Realized today: "Huh, I haven't had chocolate in a few days. And I don't really want it either."
Wow. Just, wow. I didn't know this was possible. I don't understand. But thank you, wise stranger.
Edit: Some people are asking about the supplement and dosage. It looks like [this](https://imgur.com/a/BisGW).
[Discussion] Bad reactions to success
/u/cmbrm5
Created: Fri Jan 19 23:17:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7roqdj/bad_reactions_to_success/
---
Does anyone else respond to success with binging? I hit a new LW a few days ago, and it's like the relief and satisfaction of being less fat made me feel like I should reward myself with food..... which makes me gain. This happens almost every time I Iose, and now I'm on day 2 of binging after 2 days of maintenance and I really don't want to step on the scale :(
Edit: On mobile, not sure how to flair things
I hate myself and I can't do this anymore
/u/inconceivable-- [20F | 5'5'' | (treatment rip) | GW 95lbs]
Created: Fri Jan 19 23:17:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7roqd5/i_hate_myself_and_i_cant_do_this_anymore/
---
Sorry for any incoherence that might follow; I'm phenomenally drunk and I just don't know who else to talk to.
I'm so sick of this. Ever since I got out of treatment--since I gained back all of the weight I worked so hard to lose--I've felt this insane lack of control. I can't fucking stop bingeing. I can just feel myself expanding and growing and getting fatter and fatter and more disgusting by the day. Where did my self control go? Where did my self respect go? Why do I do this to myself day in and day out?
I just purged for the first time in over a month. My body hurts and my heart hurts and everything HURTS. I just wish I had someone who understood how bad this was. I wish someone could understand how shitty it is to think about food--to think about my greatest fear--every minute of every hour of every fucking day. I obsess, and yet I can't stop myself from indulging. Every. Single. Night. I am disgusting. I am worthless. I just want to be tiny and delicate and...nothing. I want to be nothing. I want my physical state to reflect my mental one.
I don't even know why I'm posting this. I'm so lonely and so fat and so so so unhappy. This is hell. This is a hell I impose on myself every day. I want to fucking die. I don't know. I just wish this would stop
[Other] Very Cheap Sloppy Lentils Recipe (Vegan) (~200 calories / 200g)
/u/girlinschool
Created: Fri Jan 19 22:59:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ronf1/very_cheap_sloppy_lentils_recipe_vegan_200/
---
* 1lb lentils (160 calories per 1/4 cup)
* 24oz Manwich sloppy joe sauce (35 calories per serving, around ~350 for the entire can)
* Seasoning (anything you want, I put onion & garlic powder, black pepper)
* Stevia drops
* Sriracha (according to taste)
Rinse the lentils. Cook the entire bag of lentils per the instructions (I use ~6 cups of water per 1lb of regular lentils). Takes 20-30 minutes.
Drain if needed. Sometimes I have to drain mine, other times it's dry as a dessert so I just pour the sauce in.
Mix the sauce, the seasoning, and spices with the lentils.
= ~1800 calories for the entire thing. This will be your meal for week
I weighed the entire meal and it's around ~1815g (I round it down, always, so 1800g). I put this recipe on MFP and every time I eat it, I take out my scale and weigh approximately 200g, which would be ~200 calories.
.
.
.
I put thai chili pepper in mine because I like it very spicy, and lots of stevia drops because I also like it sweet (sweet and spicy is my favorite combo). This is why I also add sriracha. I couldn't find chili powder in the house (just when you need it, it's gone!) but I would have turned it into a chili.
Oh, and it's vegan!
Lentils have lots and lots of fiber. It's also ridiculously cheap!
[Rant/Rave] I don't get the hype: Quest bars, OhYeah!, Lenny&Larrys complete cookie, Cliff Bars etc.
/u/Chouchoutrain [5'5 (166cm) | 108 (49 kg) | UGW: 92 (42kg)]
Created: Fri Jan 19 22:07:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7roe5s/i_dont_get_the_hype_quest_bars_ohyeah_lennylarrys/
---
is it just me or are these seriously disgusting? Most of them taste like the way I imagine laundry powder or soap would taste.
Anyone else?
[Other] does anybody feel like their doing this because you want to kill yourself but are afraid of guns/overdosing/other ways of suicide?
/u/DreaminOfSomeSunshin [5'6.5" | 116 lbs | 18.4 BMI | GW: 100]
Created: Fri Jan 19 21:04:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ro2v9/does_anybody_feel_like_their_doing_this_because/
---
this way it’d be less painful for my family too
tbh I just want to lose and lose and lose until I’m gone
[Discussion] Does anyone else feel like they're just doing this to take up as little space as possible?
/u/E_D_N_O_S [165/5'5" | CW 57/126 | 21 | GW <50/110 | M/NB? I dunno]
Created: Fri Jan 19 20:50:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ro09y/does_anyone_else_feel_like_theyre_just_doing_this/
---
Sorry if this is a repeated topic. :( I tried, but the search just isn't very useful. So, um, yeah. I feel like my ED is basically just me indulging this weird desire I have to exist as little as possible, so also to consume the bare minimum and exist physically in as little space as I possibly can. So I was wondering if anyone here shares this feeling? xx
[Rant/Rave] There's no escape
/u/cinnamonbicycle [5'2 | "recovering" | 🍑: cinnamonbicycle]
Created: Fri Jan 19 19:52:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rnp7f/theres_no_escape/
---
This is my only second real relapse, but it's breaking me. I was in a really good place before. I was recovering and I was thriving and I was happy. I could have stayed there forever. But I just spiraled back into anorexia and here I am.
I'll never get out, will I? I've tried recovery so many different ways, and each one has failed. I'm running out of options. I don't want to live like this for the rest of my life. I'd sooner kill myself than suffer through this forever. But I don't want to die. I think about suicide every day, but in my heart I really don't want to die.
I just wanna be free. Right now, the quickest route to freedom is death, and that fact makes life pretty bleak for me.
I'm just whining. I'm just a stupid adolescent and I'll get over it. That's what my therapist says. I guess I just have to be patient and wait until I'm mature enough to outgrow my crippling mental illness. Because that's totally how it works.
[Help] Help me please
/u/FAthrowaway617
Created: Fri Jan 19 18:43:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rnbba/help_me_please/
---
[removed]
[Other] The only thing that makes me happy now
/u/arandomnamebcimlazy [5’6| CW:130|BMI:21.0|-96|Female|]
Created: Fri Jan 19 18:22:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rn70c/the_only_thing_that_makes_me_happy_now/
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https://i.redd.it/5bkn0562k4b01.jpg
Don't know how I did it, but I ended my binge cycle! Here's to hoping I hit 99 lbs by my birthday.
/u/skincarer_
Created: Fri Jan 19 16:29:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rmhwe/dont_know_how_i_did_it_but_i_ended_my_binge_cycle/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I finally broke 100!!
/u/ppyeosae [62in | CW 100lbs | BMI 18.95 | GW 95lbs | UGW 85lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jan 19 16:21:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rmg28/i_finally_broke_100/
---
https://imgur.com/a/lfD6T
[Help] Keep putting off starting restriction. Keep bingeing. :(
/u/ilikebiting [5'7" | CW:Vile | GW: 115 (for now)| F]
Created: Fri Jan 19 16:04:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rmcbj/keep_putting_off_starting_restriction_keep/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] why am i like this
/u/DreaminOfSomeSunshin [5'6.5" | 116 lbs | 18.4 BMI | GW: 100]
Created: Fri Jan 19 16:02:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rmbql/why_am_i_like_this/
---
my ex was just trying to be sweet... he was worried about me
my flair is outdated rn but
today he saw me and kinda pulled me aside and said "hey irina you look way too skinny .. are you okay?"
and i said "i appreciate the concern but that's absolutely none of your fucking business
his sister used to be anorexic, he knows the signs. he was just trying to talk to me and i couldve talked to him but instead i was a huge fucking bitch
[Rant/Rave] Proud of myself...
/u/shrinktoavoid [F 5'7|106.2]
Created: Fri Jan 19 15:44:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rm7k2/proud_of_myself/
---
I just want to take a moment to say that I just made over 300 cookies and after weighing every single ingredient and amount that went into my mouth, I only ate 266 calories worth of cookie dough.
And considering that cookies are my fucking weakness, and I've binged 4/7 days this week, I'm pretty proud of myself and needed to share with people who would understand ❤
Now I'm going to a potluck though, so hopefully I don't fuck this up.
[Tip] About black coffee...
/u/giraffle9 [62in | CW 117 |GW 95 | -43]
Created: Fri Jan 19 15:39:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rm66r/about_black_coffee/
---
I know we all like our coffee black (like our souls...sorry I make that joke a lot lol) and it's a great way to save calories buut I developed pre-ulcers in college because of all that black coffee on an empty stomach, and I've worked at a dentist's office and know how rough acidity of black coffee can be on your teeth! (not even mentioning how much diet coke we drink).
I know we're not trying to be healthy here, lol, but adding a bit of cream, cashew milk, almond milk, soy milk, skim milk, anything, to your coffee may be worth the extra 10-30 calories I promise!!
[Rant/Rave] I managed to fuck it up as per usual, great!
/u/lavendersmoke [5'5" | CW 133.8 | GW 105 | SW 135 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 19 15:36:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rm5g1/i_managed_to_fuck_it_up_as_per_usual_great/
---
I'd been doing really well lately restricting at 600cal or under a day and last night when I was tempted to binge I ended up c/s instead. So doing good, but then today I found myself in a bulk barn and allowing myself small amount of several types of candy. No problem, it's still only close to 700cal right? Still below my BMR/TDEE.
Except I was just talking to my roommate about sizes and hips etc, she apparently thought I was a 6 or 7 when in reality I'm a 4 at my largest (currently) or easily a 2 once I get back into restricting. We lowkey argued about it an how I was being "unrealistic" saying that I could be a size 2 until she remembered how disordered I am and ended up "Never mind I'm going to stop talking". Too late now, bitch. I didn't realize I looked that big to her. Maybe she just has no idea of what sizes are considering she's three times my size but now I feel even more guilty for ruining what was a good restriction period.
tldr; let myself eat food I wasn't supposed to and discovered my roommate thinks I'm much larger than I am
[Rant/Rave] Houseki no kuni
/u/like_a_living_thing [5'4" | 117 | F | 👽]
Created: Fri Jan 19 15:17:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rm0vk/houseki_no_kuni/
---
[removed]
[Help] Restricting/fasting on the job - I'm a driver
/u/ProteusSsaraii
Created: Fri Jan 19 14:46:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rlssr/restrictingfasting_on_the_job_im_a_driver/
---
Hello, I'm a driver for a medical supply company. I never have the energy to make my safe meals before I go out for the day, and even if I do I'm bombarded with fast food advertisements as I drive around. It's hard to stay motivated when I can't look at thinspo from my tumblr feed everytime I start to lose control.
Before getting this job (which otherwise is the best one I've ever had) I was down to 140 lbs, being a 6ft, 23 yr old male that's saying something. I felt amazing. But since starting my new job, I've gained 40 lbs and am starting to not fit my skinny clothes I bought as I started to lose weight 2 years ago (I started around double that weight).
Anyway, any suggestions and encouragement to get back on the wagon would be much appreciated.
[Help] Experiences with quitting keto? Did you gain?
/u/ParanoidPancreas [5'11 | CW 145.2 | BMI 19.6 | GW 138 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 19 14:45:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rlsin/experiences_with_quitting_keto_did_you_gain/
---
I've been doing a combination of intermittent fasting, keto, and CICO for 3 months. Keto has helped me lose a lot but sadly I've gotten to the point that I just cannot reasonably do it anymore. I have been really depressed recently and I keep going over 20 carbs (about 50-60 daily) and every day I beat myself up over it. I haven't been in ketosis since before the holidays and I feel like such a failure.
In my fucked up head, I feel like if I "officially" quit keto and start eating tons of carbs again, I'll gain everything back. I still plan on doing 16/8 fasting and eating under 1200 cals a day, but I'm just terrified that somehow my weight will creep back up with the introduction of carbs.
Any experiences or suggestions are welcome. I am fucking petrified that I will ruin everything.
[Discussion] Successful flip from binging to restricting?
/u/RebornOldFart
Created: Fri Jan 19 14:41:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rlrow/successful_flip_from_binging_to_restricting/
---
Started a new ADHD med and it has given me the whatever I needed to stop my binging so far. I have been successfully under 1200 calories 4 out of the last 7 days, and 2 of the other 3 days I was around 1500. Last night I ate out with much regret.
I am finding it easier to not each lunch, a very small breakfast, and I am looking to start cutting my dinner down. I want to be around 800 calories daily. But it is an absolute effort at this point. The med helps me control myself, but I still have the desire to binge.
Has anyone managed to successfully flip their ED? Would be nice to be able to force it in the other direction.
[Discussion] How accurate have you found loser town's predicted weight loss schedule to be?
/u/SvelteDreams [5'5" | CW 121.4lbs | GW 103lbs | 21F]
Created: Fri Jan 19 14:21:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rlmiq/how_accurate_have_you_found_loser_towns_predicted/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I'M NOT DOING THIS ANYMORE!
/u/little-paws
Created: Fri Jan 19 14:19:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rlltk/im_not_doing_this_anymore/
---
I have binged for over a MONTH, I am so ashamed of myself. I've put on about 5lbs or something which isn't the worst but it's more my binge mindset that I'm sick of.
Tonight, I just suddenly thought, fuck it, I'm not doing this anymore. I'm fasting this weekend to start off and then low restricting.
I'm trying to study for my exams and all I've been doing is thinking about food.
If I just have loads of caffeine will I be able to concentrate on studying?
[Help] I feel hopeless
/u/weebtrashboii
Created: Fri Jan 19 14:06:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rlimi/i_feel_hopeless/
---
So I’ve lost quite some weight the last 5-6 months. I’ve gone from borderline obese to «normal», but I’m still being bullied at school and called weight-related names. I feel like all this hard work was for nothing. I was actually starting to feel comfortable in my own skin for the first time in my entire life, but it all just seems so hopeless when people still are calling me names. I dont know if they’re using those words out of old habit, or am I just delusional and in belief that I have lost more than I actually have? Anyone else with similair experiences, or am I alone?
I dont wanna go back to school for a while. Just stay at home and lose more weight so that people will like me better when I come back, hopefully.
Starting extreme restriction again from tomorrow.
/u/throwaway_cannotstay
Created: Fri Jan 19 13:38:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rlblm/starting_extreme_restriction_again_from_tomorrow/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Coming to terms with the fact I will never be able to eat with out the “battle” and my relationship with nutrition and food will probably never be “normal”
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 19 13:09:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rl4c6/coming_to_terms_with_the_fact_i_will_never_be/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Night or morning binge??
/u/booberryapocalypse
Created: Fri Jan 19 12:58:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rl1d5/night_or_morning_binge/
---
My brain is so stupid, last night I couldn’t get to sleep bc of hunger and when I’m hungry I’m generally wired and can’t go to bed, so I binged saying to myself “I’ll just fast tomorrow”. Binge was 800 calories of cereal and almond milk. I fell asleep feeling like a fat loser.
Woke up and my stomach was ready to explode. Like I had five days worth of poops to take and none were ready to leave my intestines yet. So I binged again on sushi and salmon and tzasiki (800 more calories). Now I’m at 1600 for the whole fucking day and I feel like a sloth. I’m so depressed I don’t even want to exercise. All I want to do is watch Netflix and curl up and wait to take a dump so my tummy can be flatter.
Okay but back to my point- do you find yourself binging more at night or in the morning? And do you LET yourself be more likely to binge at a certain time for whatever reason? Like “oh it’s the morning so I have all day to burn it off” or whatever. I just need to feel not alone and disgusting right now. Do you find you prefer one to the other?? Why??
(I hope this is the correct flair, I didn’t really know which one to tag this as)
[Rant/Rave] Calories and Macros STRESS!!
/u/kldscpdaisies [5'4 | 163.8 | 28.1 | -13.2 | F, 24, CA]
Created: Fri Jan 19 12:37:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rkw0a/calories_and_macros_stress/
---
I thought counting calories was stressful enough but after being made to believe that counting Macros was “easier” and supposed to make you eat “the right sort of calories” I am MORE stressed!!
Now I care deeply if my lunch has too many carbs or too much sodium even if it’s like 300 calories.
ALSO- I HATE when the calories on MFP don’t match with the restaurant nutritional info!!!!!!! I had a Vegan Kale Caesar Salad from Veggie Grill and the website says 570 but MFP says 750??? Veggie Grill states they include the salad dressing in their count but just in case I ordered the dressing on the side and used very little. Soooo annoying. Especially since I just had one of my worst B/P episode last night and I’m just trying to eat healthy and nourish myself. Jfc whyyyyyyyyyy.
Ok /end rant.
[Rant/Rave] I f*cked up my shoulder and can't work out, feeling antsy and terrible.
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 102 | F 🍍]
Created: Fri Jan 19 12:08:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rkoeq/i_fcked_up_my_shoulder_and_cant_work_out_feeling/
---
I've worked out least ten minutes, up to 45, every day since January first. and I'm so mad that I have to break this streak.
my shoulders we sore yesterday so I tried to massage the spot that hurt. I don't know what the hell I did, but it immediately cramped up and started to hurt so bad that I teared up. it was sore and tense all day, my bf tried to give me a massage but it didn't do much. now it just hurts mildly all the time. I can't turn my head too far left and I can't put any weight on that arm. I know because I tried to carry in some heavy groceries today and nearly totally froze up with how much it hurt.
im holding back the urge to do a quick ten minute routine because I KNOW it's going to hurt, but I really don't want to stop exercising I need that buffer of calories burned to not feel fat at the end of the day. god damn it. fuck.
[Goal] Just finished my first 24 hour fast!!
/u/skyofAuroras [5'10"| CW: 122.5| GW: 115|19F]
Created: Fri Jan 19 10:50:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rk38k/just_finished_my_first_24_hour_fast/
---
I know 24 hours is nothing compared to how long some people fast, but it's my first time doing so and I'm so glad I didn't fail. I've skipped meals before and I'm used to heavy restriction, so it wasn't too difficult. Today i plan to only eat light and hopefully not binge. I just needed somewhere to brag about this. Also quick question, is it normal to get a headache while fasting, and how do I get rid of it?
Edit: checked my weight, my CW is now 122.5 lbs, will update when I'm not on mobile
[Rant/Rave] My life is falling apart
/u/gciv_072 [Height 178cm | CW 55kg | CBMI 17,5 | GW 45kg | GBMI 14 | 18F]
Created: Fri Jan 19 10:21:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rjvlo/my_life_is_falling_apart/
---
So, since early fall, I was so busy being in a cycle of bingeing, purging, restricting, attempting recovery and relapsing that I missed out on everything. Of course when I first felt a heavy ED takeover coming I tried to remain a relatively high-functioning adult and a good student but it‘s just so hard. I hope (bad wording lol) you understand what I’m talking about - complete loss of control over yourself. Dissociating. My brain is literally broken and requires repairing.
There’s no one who can understand me IRL. I can’t even apply for [paid] treatment because my parents think EDs don’t exist and I should stop acting childish.
I was so busy hibernating I haven’t noticed that this semester and the exams are over. I mean, I still managed to pass the hardest, practical exams, but the theoretical ones are either failed or cut. I don’t even know what are those subjects about, I spent those couple attended lectures obsessively dreaming about food.
Consequently, I’m about to get expelled from college. A guy from the academic office called me today and said that if I don’t pass 8 exams left by Monday, they’re kicking me out. Sitting 8 exams in a single day is physically impossible, no matter how good you are.
Schooling was (and is!) the most important thing in my life. I’ve studied musical performance since I can remember and I’ve been dreaming of enrolling in this college since the age of 10 (I’m 18 now and am in the 2nd year). I’ll never be satisfied without working as a pro musician, but there’s no point in starting it over in another institution and earning BA at the age of 27.
I feel so bad for ruining my dream. I’m so so fucking sorry, 10-year-old u/gciv_072. It’s not my fault and 100% my fault at the same time. Idek what else to say.
I lowkey don’t even want to live anymore. Sorry for a long rant :(
TL;DR EDed for 3 months in a row, skipped 73% lectures, got kicked out of school. Am sad for being too crazy to pursue education
[Discussion] DAE have Gastroparesis?
/u/Reversedog89 [5'9" | CW 194 | BMI 28.6 | HW 270 | 27F |]
Created: Fri Jan 19 09:12:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rjcxu/dae_have_gastroparesis/
---
Long time lurker posting, been struggling with Gastroparesis for awhile, finally diagnosed. Mine wasn't caused by an eating disorder, but it can be. Struggled on and off with high restricting for ages, now the weight is melting off and that part of my brain is THRILLED. I'm currently stuck on enteral feeds which are really easy to restrict unfortunately.
[Help] "i think you're too skinny"
/u/grape_fruits [5'3.5" | last i checked, 102 lbs | 19F]
Created: Fri Jan 19 08:52:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rj7jn/i_think_youre_too_skinny/
---
and "i can feel your ribs and i'm not even pressing on them. you're underweight, right?" - boyfriend
and because i hate lying i'm just like ha h a i'm only slightly underweight it's nothing really!!
this sucks major major ass bc my roommate (and her scale) moved out this semester and my boyfriend's roommate's scale is broken and i can't even covertly buy batteries for it bc it's not in the bathroom anymore!! the random measuring tape i bought off ebay is going to come in a MONTH i literally have 0 idea of any of my body measurements rn and it's killing me. and over winter break i tried really hard to eat at maintenance and tried to """not care""" about what i was eating and push away those intrusive thoughts but i'm back on my bullshit!! two days ago i was like "i have plenty of time to get to my ugw so i should eat like 1000 cals bc nutrition and stuff" but then yesterday i ate cookies from trader joe's and decided i wasn't allowed to eat anything for the rest of the day even tho it was like 400 cal max. i think i'm going crazy tbh i can't even decide if i want to spiral 1000% into self destruction or only like 50%. i don't know how to manage my bf and friends who say things like "you're so tiny" "____ is bc grape_fruits is so skinny!" bc on one hand it makes me happy and validated and i ~feel~ skinny but also this is a problem
Nothing lifts my mood like restricting
/u/loserlosing5 [164cm | CW: 66 | Weight Lost: 19kg since April '17]
Created: Fri Jan 19 08:51:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rj7er/nothing_lifts_my_mood_like_restricting/
---
Literally everything could be going wrong but hey I ate 418 calories and did 90 minutes of walking so at least I’ve got that.
At the same time I do get these incredible low and sad feelings like “God I just wish I could eat normally” but ultimately NOTHING makes me feel worse than bingeing or gaining weight, so why would I deliberately make myself feel that way by eating?
Sorry 2:30am ramblings here
(Also my flair is inaccurate but I can’t update on mobile: current weight is 63kg)
[Other] Well, I relapsed.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 19 08:39:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rj488/well_i_relapsed/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Binged last night. Help.
/u/IndigoSeasons [5'9" | CW 138 | CGW 118 | BMI 20 | Female]
Created: Fri Jan 19 08:37:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rj3rf/binged_last_night_help/
---
I am such an idiot. I did so well getting back on track and had over 48 hours with no food at all and then i drank two beers last night and binged on BREAD and PEANUT BUTTER of all the frickin’ things to binge on. And I am talking like half a loaf of bread or more. I am up a whole pound from the last time i weighed myself and i am on the brink of tears and i have to go into work and i hate myself.
Suggestions please!
/u/thr0w-away00
Created: Fri Jan 19 08:13:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rixqx/suggestions_please/
---
[removed]
[Help] Slight panic, need some reassurance
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 149.6 | GW: 118 | -16.6 | F24]
Created: Fri Jan 19 07:52:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rismv/slight_panic_need_some_reassurance/
---
[removed]
[Help] I feel so heartbroken because I gained weight...
/u/MellowKittyCat
Created: Fri Jan 19 07:45:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rir5a/i_feel_so_heartbroken_because_i_gained_weight/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Why does my body insist on actually losing weight when I purge?
/u/then_she_said [5'7 | -58 | 27F | UGW: 130]
Created: Fri Jan 19 07:25:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rimkm/why_does_my_body_insist_on_actually_losing_weight/
---
Like, it would be so much easier to just not if I didn't wake up this morning a whole lb lighter than yesterday. My weight has been swinging every which way, and I know a lot of it is because I've been drinking a lot which basically means I'm hungover every morning and don't plan my meals out. I do so well for a week, lose like 5 lbs, then fuck it all up again and keep telling myself "next week".
Yesterday at work I hadn't packed myself enough food to avoid being ravenous by 2 pm, so of course I just went down to the gas station and got Fritos and onion dip and at that point it's like, "might as well eat the whole bag, and stop at Burger King on the way home! can always just purge it later!" So a whole bag of Fritos, a whole container of dip, 3 cheeseburgers, a large fries dipped in cheese sauce, and a Cinnamon Toast Crunch milkshake later (wtf, why do they make those they are 780 calories), I'm hugging my toilet, totally convinced that there's no way I got it all up and I definitely retained at least 1500 calories from the binge.
A few hours later I made myself a small, safe snack and then got drunk with my husband. Woke up expecting to see a 3 lb weight gain but no, I was down a lb. And of course my awful mind is like, "oh great! What are we eating tonight?? And tomorrow is Saturday, so we can lax, too! Let's go crazyyyyyyy"
[Discussion] January 19th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 19 06:25:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ri9y5/january_19th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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What are three things you ate today?
[Help] Advice on UWG and BMI
/u/AidenBean
Created: Fri Jan 19 06:07:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ri6gf/advice_on_uwg_and_bmi/
---
[removed]
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! January 19, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jan 19 05:12:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rhwy4/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for January 19, 2018.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! January 19, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jan 19 05:12:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rhwx2/daily_food_diary_january_19_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 19, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] I just finished a 36 hour fast - question
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 131.6 | BMI: 26 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26F]
Created: Fri Jan 19 04:57:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rhu53/i_just_finished_a_36_hour_fast_question/
---
So I’ve never fasted before. This was a liquid fast- I had coffee, tea, and tons of water. Made it through fine - feeling hungry now, but not sick or weak or anything.
So this fast was to make up for a pizza binge I had on Tuesday night. On Tuesday morning before the binge I was 133.2. I did not weigh myself yesterday because I was too afraid of sodium bloat and I knew the number wouldn’t be real, so I just said fuck it, we’ll fast for a day and then see.
I’m 131.6 this morning. Is that really possible? Did I lose a pound and a half just from not eating for ONE day? If I eat at my usual high restrict of 800-1000 today, am I going to gain that back? I realize I shouldn’t gain it back because 1000 is still a 500 calorie deficit from my TDEE, but I’m paranoid.
Has anyone fasted and then gained the weight they lost back from eating? Not binging, just eating. I’m curious if this is real weight loss or not.
[Help] hey new here! im liking this thread a lot and getting tips as i’m new to ana as well
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 19 04:51:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rht9h/hey_new_here_im_liking_this_thread_a_lot_and/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rht9h/hey_new_here_im_liking_this_thread_a_lot_and/
[Other] Healthy food
/u/PenMorrisek
Created: Fri Jan 19 04:36:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rhqtk/healthy_food/
---
Today I ate 3 meals for ~500 cal. After weeks of fast>binge>purge and gaining a couple of kilos this feels like a victory.
When I eat it's mostly junk food. But today I had proper nutritious and healthy food. This disease makes me feel very nevative most of the time. But this feels good. I hope I can keep it up.
I dont know how to cope with my feelings (trigger warning: self harm )
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Fri Jan 19 01:43:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rh1do/i_dont_know_how_to_cope_with_my_feelings_trigger/
---
On mobile flair as rant or rave
I cut. I cut a bit. I turn my thighs and my arm into bloody messes. They sting. The hurt but not enough. I didn't eat when I got home I just stripped down looking at my failure of a body and got work and when I saw what I had done I cried and did it some more. I sprayed sea salt spray meant for piercings so they don't get infected.
I fucked up. I wasn't harming for months and then all these feelings made me feel helpless. I want to just hurt all the time...help me. I don't know what to do anymore or how to help myself.
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] I am so so frustrated
/u/es_0 [167 cm | GW: 47 kg | 20F]
Created: Fri Jan 19 01:06:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rgw3c/i_am_so_so_frustrated/
---
Currently studying all the time because of exam season coming up and I‘m really fucking trying. I am eating alright and logging all of it (always around 1‘200), I haven’t purged in a while, I am moving and doing some exercise, I am drinking lots of water and tea, I am sleeping enough and I‘m taking my vitamins. BUT NO, since having a hormone implant put in my arm I am constantly on a light period, having cramps and feeling constantly bloated - every freaking day, I can‘t remember the last time I felt comfy and was not in any pain.
My favorite, a little bit too lose, pants are tight as hell and my stomach isn‘t getting an inch flatter. That fucking period just doesn‘t go away and it‘s leaving me frustrated. There‘s no way I could have gained actual weight according to MFP and my FitBit but I still feel like the fattest I have ever been.
I know I just have to keep on going but it just feels like no matter what I do my thights are getting wider and wider. I‘m sorry, I just had to get this out.
[Help] Help me I'm losing hope..
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Fri Jan 19 00:29:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rgqoi/help_me_im_losing_hope/
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On mobile flair as rant or something
I combed through my exes Facebook earlier because they comment on a page and I saw their comment..
My heart sunk in my chest and I felt it. Like my already broken heart had been broken more. It's been weeks to months since I heard from them and they said they needed space and then they wanted to break up. They tagged someone in their comment and when I saw the friends page it was the two of them together but it didn't say they were in a relationship.
I just want her back. I want Laura back. I have strong urges to harm my self even though it's been months since I did last. I want to bleed and hurt as much as I do on the inside.
I didn't have any appetite even with restricting low. I had like 7 oz. of broccoli part of it raw part steamed with salt and pepper and I want to purge again.
I just feel like a failure. She was my world, I gave her my heart and 5 years of my life. She was there when I was at my lowest and even when she moved for work when she visited and I was in treatment for my ED she visited briefly.
I feel so broken and lost. Does crying burn calories? I work the next 3 days and might just now eat and try to starve to death. I just want to hurt and then be done with this life.
I have nothing and I am nothing and I will never be more and even if I do it will be nothing to me without her in my life.
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] Brokerexia.
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 17BMI | -165 | 30F | AU]
Created: Thu Jan 18 23:47:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rgk0r/brokerexia/
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SO
I fuckin have to say this all the time and its tiresome but
over the last year I've gone from a size 18 US (mostly I wore leggings so maybe I was bigger first probably), XL or L t shirts, etc. now I have no tits, all that, no idea what size shirts I'd be. Luckily my t shirts are already big boyfriend shirts or band shirts so it works.
to a size ?? 2-4 US/ 4-6 AU, I havent bought any clothes because I HAVE NO MONEY I just went into H&M to see what size I was in jeans because I had no idea and I wanted to know.
(my husband gave me a pair of jeans over the summer leftover from work that he had been given for free bc they were way too small for him so ive been wearing them but they are falling off. )
Anyway; my bras dont fit, i was a 36 C+/D. Now i'm idk some sort of B cup, I have maybe one bra that sort of fits because I bought it way too small. luckily with small boobs you can get away with not wearing them. My underwear is always falling off of my ass.
You get the idea.
So here I am, alone in Australia with no friends no job and no money, with clothes starting to just hang off me.
Sorry I'm ranting. I had to get it out.
[Discussion] ED Changes
/u/DangerTaterz [5'4 | CW 205.4 | GW1 199 | UGW 130? | 35.6 | 25 F]
Created: Thu Jan 18 23:34:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rghuy/ed_changes/
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I was just wondering how anyone else's ED has changed over time? When I was younger (about high school aged) I "tried" to be bulimic as in trying many different forms of purging to counteract my out of control eating, not because I thought it was a good idea). I tried exercising enough to get rid of everything, tried puking, did lax for quite awhile, tried restricting or fasting (was able to do a water/0 cal liquid fast for 3 days until it made me sick), gave c/s a go but it wasn't satisfying to me, I've even tried eating healthy. But everything just seems to end in a binge for me. Partially because I'm always fucking hungry, partially because I would also use food as a way to hurt myself.
Earlier this week I decided to only eat one meal a day and log it the best I could (my guy has been the one cooking). While I haven't been actively trying to stay at a certain cal amount, I've been staying around 900 or under.
Except for the other night when my blood sugar dropped, I've been fine. Hungry at points yes, but no urge to binge which I'm rather amazed at. The last time I tried to restrict what I was eating, it was a "healthy" amount of calories and after maybe a week I couldn't help but binge. Before every day I tried to restrict was a fight. I guess I'm just amazed right now. I hope this isn't just a fluke and I still wont have a binge in a week or 2 from now.
So I'm wondering if anyone has has gone from consistently over eating to consistently under eating?
Alcoholism
/u/EDsince2000
Created: Thu Jan 18 23:32:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rghim/alcoholism/
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I hope this doesn't get deleted (I'd forgotten I made this account) but I need to get some stuff off my chest and I think you might be the only people that can relate...
I was underweight for years, quite intentionally lol. Once I discovered alcohol...My addiction transferred, I think. I stopped caring so much that I was gaining weight, I needed to. But it was the wrong way to do it...
I haven't been underweight for 5 years, I'm a "healthy weight" now. But there's nothing healthy about it. The drinking now is taking up my life, but it's just another obsession. I never healed at all...
I worry about thiamine deficiency every day. The two populations you see it are anorexics and alcoholics. How did I get lucky enough to have both?
The consequence is weirneke-korsokoffs syndrome. You lose reality. Your brain, memory, your sense of self. I force myself to eat to stave off this disease, but oddly enough, for the first time, I have no appetite. Food, what is Food? What is hunger? I've tried my stomach with too much vodka and for all the times I wished my stomach would just shut up....well I may get wish, but this was never what I wanted.
I'm dying. Or worse, I'm going to lose myself. Everyone depends on me. I'm supporting a family of 6 (5 adults, 2 kids) that I never agreed to take care of. I love my husband but to make sure his daughter is okay we moved in her, her mom, her moms boyfriend, and their 2 yo. They agreed when they moved in to help, but they never have. For 6 months.
So I pay all the bills and I drink to forget and don't eat so the kids can. But I don't want to go out this way.
I welcome any responses, you guys are awesome and I'm scared
[Intro] New here!
/u/desperatetogo [165cm | CW: 63 | GW: 45 | -5 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 18 23:20:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rgfil/new_here/
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Hey guys, I've been lurking around here for a bit but I finally decided to introduce myself!
I've basically been feeling awful about my own body since I was eight years old because I've always had bigger thighs compared to the other girls. I started to obsessively restrict when I was a freshman in high school and it's been on and off since then. It's always on either extremes, either I binge every single day or I eat basically nothing. I've been on my longest binging streak yet, almost a full year, which means that I've gained a shit ton of weight and I feel really bad about it. Now I'm in my last year of high school and I guess I'm back to restricting myself because there's pressure to lose weight for prom.
I'm also a dancer, but you'd never be able to tell from just looking at me because I'm too fat. People are constantly surprised to learn that I do ballet because I don't have a ballerina's body even though I've been dancing since I was young. It's also always a struggle to see my own body line so clearly for 10+ hour a week because I spend so much time in front of a mirror wearing tight/non-existent clothing. I just want to feel good enough about myself that I'm not scared of judgement whenever I'm in public.
Thanks for reading!!
Looking for Ana buddy
/u/mayulowe
Created: Thu Jan 18 22:16:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rg3xu/looking_for_ana_buddy/
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[removed]
The disgusting image of a drunken binge.
/u/SkinnyWaifu [5'3 | fat | WL: -17.4 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 18 22:15:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rg3sj/the_disgusting_image_of_a_drunken_binge/
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https://i.redd.it/gymcyjzmkya01.jpg
[Help] Weird recovery feels- pls help
/u/shadowmachines
Created: Thu Jan 18 21:34:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rfvn4/weird_recovery_feels_pls_help/
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I've been attempting recovery on my own, which for me means eating at a healthy deficit of 300-500 cal/day. I've been doing this successfully for several months, and losing ~.5 lbs per week. I've been really happy with everything so far, and haven't restricted too much.
I binged like crazy between Thanksgiving and Christmas though, so I didn't weigh myself for like 6 weeks. I knew I had gained, and I didn't want to fall into a self-loathing spiral, so in an attempt at self-care, I didn't look at the scale. Until yesterday. I debated about it for several weeks, and finally decided to come to terms with the truth. Best case scenario, I would be back where I was before the holidays. Worst? Maybe a few pounds over.
I was 5 lbs less than the lowest I had even hoped. This put me at 123.6, which is a weight I haven't been at since I was super restricting and lost my period in high school. It was a weight I had considered making a goal weight, but decided against it because I really didn't know if I could do it. Cue lots of confused feels. I am really confused and upset that I lost 5 more pounds, basically without even noticing. I am upset that I am the lowest weight I have been my adult life, and again, somehow got here without even realizing it. Both my husband and therapist have suggested that maybe it is time to switch to maintenance, and if you had asked me a month ago, I would have agreed that this is a good weight for me to maintain. But now? I don't know, it just caught me so off guard. I'm not ready to stop yet. I thought I would look different at this weight. I actually do like the way I look, but somehow in my mind 123 was going to be sooo lean, and it's just not.
I'm just freaked out because I'm trying really hard to recover, and accidentally hitting this weight caught me off guard. I don't know what to do now. I want to recover, but I feel like I'm not done losing yet, but I honestly can't tell if that's just the dysmorphia talking, or if I could keep losing at a healthy rate? How do I know when to stop?
For reference, I am 5'4", and very athletic/muscular. I have lost 16 lbs over the last several months. I am certainly the leanest I've ever been, and I don't want my weight loss to interfere with my sports, but I definitely still have cellulite on my butt and thighs. I am a size 4, which is great and I'm very happy about, but for some reason I thought 123 lbs would be smaller than that on my body. So now I'm thinking I could probably get t 120 pretty easily, and heck while we're at it, why not 115? And now I'm on a really slippery slope I've been trying really hard to avoid.
Sorry if I'm rambling. I feel so confused. I'm happy that my holiday binging didn't ruin my progress as much as I thought it did, but worried about the implications of potentially being at a good place to maintain without feeling emotionally ready. I just regret not looking at the scale for so long, because I feel like I could have been dealing with this gradually as it came up, but instead I was totally caught off guard.
Any thoughts or advice appreciated.
[Rant/Rave] If you ever feel down remember I'm a worse person than you
/u/gross9876 [5' 3" | 120 | 21.6 | not a girl]
Created: Thu Jan 18 21:30:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rfusk/if_you_ever_feel_down_remember_im_a_worse_person/
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I generally espouse a lot of ideas that this subreddit would disagree with. I feel like a wolf in sheep's clothing. You're all so kind and I'm just here to be evil.
Evil thing 1/345: I want to lose weight mostly because the camera "adds 10 pounds" and am deluded enough...no, confident enough...to think that i will spend the rest of my life surrounded by paparazzi.
(No I'm not a model or actor, I have no reason to think this besides delusions of grandeur.)
[Discussion] Any thin girls give up sugar and alcohol?
/u/SpaceWhale88 [Height 5'3 | CW 180 | HW 197 | LW 122 | 29F]
Created: Thu Jan 18 21:15:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rfrv7/any_thin_girls_give_up_sugar_and_alcohol/
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I talked to this OA woman and she was so adamant that I give up anything with more than 3g of sugar and all alcohol. I guess I should listen to a thin person instead of my fat fucking self but she even suggested I bring my own food to a restaurant for my own fucking birthday dinner. Am I the only one who thinks thats insane?
[Rant/Rave] Horrible body image
/u/eatacheeto [5' SW: 127 | CW:120 I GW: 99 | 23F]
Created: Thu Jan 18 21:02:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rfpcv/horrible_body_image/
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Flair as rant/rave, on mobile.
I'm having the worst body issues right now
Every time I let myself think about how gross and big I am I am on the verge of tears
I always resort to self care with cleaning my face and showering but it's gotten o the point where I'm so upset at how I look I don't even have an appetite. There was a time when I had body peace. Some days it would be nice to just have that back.
Today a skinny girl called me "skinny as a rail"
/u/randyguptill [5'7.5" | CW 128.4 | maintaining | 19.31 | complicated |]
Created: Thu Jan 18 20:51:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rfn40/today_a_skinny_girl_called_me_skinny_as_a_rail/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Good binges?
/u/OriginalJokeGoesHere [170cm | GW 45kg | 🇨🇦 ♂︎]
Created: Thu Jan 18 20:11:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rfekq/good_binges/
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I restricted to like a total of 3300 calories for all of last week and I was feeling a binge come on big time. So I went to the store and bought a whole chicken and a pound of spinach (I narrowly talked myself out of a pack of oreos and a bunch of other junk).
I feel bad because I wanted to fast. At the same time I'm almost glad? I'm still way below maintenance and I managed to get a ton of protein and other vitamins into my body? Idk I'm just feeling conflicted about how much I ate
[Discussion] DAE try to be the skinniest person in every room?
/u/gross9876 [5' 3" | 120 | 21.6 | not a girl]
Created: Thu Jan 18 20:04:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rfd8z/dae_try_to_be_the_skinniest_person_in_every_room/
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Now that I have one pant size left (size 0) my goals are getting more strange.
when I look around a room *as thin* is okay, but *thinner* makes me agitated. They probably haven't ruined their physical and mental health like I have 🙃
[Discussion] I might actually have a disorder [discussion]
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 135lbs|21.3|-50lbs|F|29yrs]
Created: Thu Jan 18 19:54:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rfaz2/i_might_actually_have_a_disorder_discussion/
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I live pretty close to the place where the crazy parents had the 13 kids locked up, so I hear a lot about it all day in the news. Things like, "police thought the 29 year old female was 15. They thought the 17 year old was 10. That's how emaciated these children were"
And today, "all of the clothing donations you can take to <police station> are a junior small - even the adults."
Every time I hear about this I'm like, "God danm. #goals." So yeah...maybe there is something wrong with me.
[Rant/Rave] Emotional eating FML
/u/ParanoidPancreas [5'11 | CW 145.2 | BMI 19.6 | GW 138 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 18 19:45:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rf91h/emotional_eating_fml/
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Please for the love of God, somebody tell me how to stop my depression binges. Whenever I feel low I binge on sweets and then it just fuels my depression even more. I'm tired of using food as a coping mechanism. It's like it's the only thing that gives me temporary comfort. Literally in the moment I can be like "You don't want to do this! You'll regret it!" and I'll still eat like 3 donuts regardless. My impulse control is shit.
[Discussion] Cancelled attending company event because I feel too fat
/u/321Model [5'4| GW: 150 | 30's/F]
Created: Thu Jan 18 19:28:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rf588/cancelled_attending_company_event_because_i_feel/
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I had volunteered to work at a party/event for my job this weekend. For these events we have wear company attire and I just feel like a bloated, fat mess in it right now. When I initially volunteered I felt like I could do it (mostly via restricting) but as it's in 2 days I started to feel self conscious, anxious and stressed this morning so I made up an excuse and luckily was able to get out of it.
Anyone else's ED turn them into a flake? =(
[Discussion] I wanna marry xylitol Ice Chips
/u/sogyosha
Created: Thu Jan 18 19:19:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rf3ae/i_wanna_marry_xylitol_ice_chips/
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I always forget how much I love those xylitol-sweetened minty chip things. I get the lemon and berry ones usually. I only ever hear about Halo Top but Ice Chips should be a big hit on this sub too.
How do yall feel about them?
[Discussion] EC stacking + SSRIs?
/u/sleep-iest [5'5" | 20F | cw 176 | hw 190 | lw 120 | gw 100]
Created: Thu Jan 18 19:06:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rf0cn/ec_stacking_ssris/
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Wondering if any of you have experience stacking while on SSRIs. I’m on 60mg of Prozac (have been for years) and stacked twice this week. I felt a little anxious the first time, but after 30 min felt great. Both times I had lots of energy, was productive, and was able to restrict better. I plan on avoiding stacking when I’m doing HIIT or other intense work outs, but I just wanted to know anyone else’s experiences. I do have panic disorder so I don’t plan on taking it every day or when I am already feeling particularly anxious.
[Rant/Rave] I got rejected from a job, binge ate fried chicken in bed, and now feel like a failure on multiple counts
/u/InterchangeableMoon [Height 5'0" | CW 110 | GW 98 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 18 18:39:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7reugf/i_got_rejected_from_a_job_binge_ate_fried_chicken/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] My p-doc is Adding in a new antidepressant to my many meds. She knows I won’t take anything with weight gain. Main side affects nausea, vomiting, and loss of appetite. Hell yeah! Oh ED brain.
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Thu Jan 18 17:47:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7reiir/my_pdoc_is_adding_in_a_new_antidepressant_to_my/
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[Discussion] What is your personal "perfect bmi"?
/u/DreaminOfSomeSunshin [5'6.5" | 116 lbs | 18.4 BMI | GW: 100]
Created: Thu Jan 18 16:48:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7re4gf/what_is_your_personal_perfect_bmi/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] why am i like this?
/u/DreaminOfSomeSunshin [5'6.5" | 116 lbs | 18.4 BMI | GW: 100]
Created: Thu Jan 18 16:38:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7re1xi/why_am_i_like_this/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] i can't fucking stop
/u/vulturepants
Created: Thu Jan 18 16:34:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7re11m/i_cant_fucking_stop/
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god i'm so disgusting i literally can't stop binging and i'm already overweight and i just keep gaining weight because i have no willpower and i'm so hideous and worthless and obese
for once in my life i just want to be tiny and dainty but that will never happen because i'm so pathetic that i can't even starve myself correctly or make myself throw up the right way
i fucking hate myself so much i hate my disgusting fat flabby hideous unloveable body and i'm absolutely going to be alone forever because there's no way in hell that anyone would ever love me or even be friends with me looking as disgustingly and embarrassingly fat as i am now
i'm 5'5 and i weigh like 155-ish and it feels so disgusting typing that out because i'm so pathetic and gigantic compared to all of you other tiny girls here and i know everyone reading this is secretly judging me and thinking "oh wow i'm glad that's not me" and i feel like i'm faking having an eating disorder because "oh you can't have an eating disorder you're fat" but it hurts just as much
i just want to be small.
[Other] Drinking vodka and eating skinny pop popcorn
/u/-teaqueen- [5'3" | 115 | 20.37 | -20 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 18 16:14:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rdw8r/drinking_vodka_and_eating_skinny_pop_popcorn/
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Anyone want to talk? Send me a message !
[Discussion] Do you think it’s automatically disordered to strive for/intentionally maintain an underweight BMI?
/u/dontthinkineedyou [🌱 modern day sisyphus 🌻 | 🍑: kumoma]
Created: Thu Jan 18 16:10:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rdv1u/do_you_think_its_automatically_disordered_to/
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tl;dr: I want to have my cake and not eat it too.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot. I actually WANT to be healthy! I WANT to be normal around food. I WANT my period back. I don’t feel any pride or comfort in being cold or miserable all the time. I hate worrying about whether or not I’m going to survive my walk home or make it through another shift at work because I’m shaky and faint. I am not trying to shrink myself psychologically or physically because I don’t think I deserve to take up space. I am not trying to be “sick enough” and I’m not restricting so I can punish myself, make people notice/ignore me, or garner attention/affection/social acceptance. (Absolutely zero offense meant if you relate to any of those.)
I’m not saying I’m mentally healthy, but I’ve never really felt like I had an eating disorder. I actually kind of live in fear of someone diagnosing me with one. I’m just an anxious, obsessive perfectionist who likes numbers, control, and winning. And apparently, I’ve finally picked a game (weight management) that I cannot “win” without slowly killing myself or driving myself insane in the process. It’s not that I’m worried that I’ll become obese if I eat intuitively. I know that I probably won’t. It’s not that I think I’ll finally be pretty, skinny, or lovable if I weigh X amount of pounds. I’ve actually weighed in under my UGW, so I know from experience that I’ll still have my soft, garbage body. I also know that I can probably achieve the look I want by eating more (which I WANT to do!) and properly exercising (which I also WANT to do).
None of those facts matter though. I have found the numerically perfect weight range and I am going to try my damnedest to stay there. The problem for me isn’t society or culture, or my body image, or other people’s image of me; the problem is I am competing with the motherfucking LAWS OF PHYSICS. The natural world. The biology of the human body. The reality of MY body. I want to eat freely and be healthy and have energy and be at a weight that is apparently a slow suicide for me.
I’m not known for giving up though, so onward we go. :)
[Discussion] You know you have an ED when...
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 18 15:08:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rdf3n/you_know_you_have_an_ed_when/
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Your boyfriend says his entire family has the flu and your first thought is, “I wonder how much weight I could lose if I got the flu? How soon can I get over there?” EDs are weird.
[Discussion] What nutrition facts do you guys count?
/u/finnkat
Created: Thu Jan 18 14:56:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rdbob/what_nutrition_facts_do_you_guys_count/
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Do you guys only count calories or do you also focus on carbs, sugar, fats, etc.?
[Rant/Rave] Significant others ex
/u/Catsandhoes367
Created: Thu Jan 18 14:54:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rdb1b/significant_others_ex/
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Does anyone else hate their boyfriend/girlfriends ex? I hate this girl. During the first two years of our relationship, she would constantly be in contact with my boyfriend. Even when I told him to stop she would call and he would answer and not tell me about it until I found out. His sister talks about how great she is and how he fucked it up with her. His ex and his sister are still in contact. I've contacted her a few times to tell her to please leave us alone and now she has me blocked on everything. Oh and when me and my boyfriend first started dated he told me how he was so in love with her and how she broke his heart. This fuels my eating disorder so bad. His ex is extremely tiny and I feel like I will never be as good as her. I get so anxious that he's talking to her behind my back that I binge and purge as a result (which i don't understand why I do this). Does anyone else have any kind of experience with this??
[Tip] Just a tip, free tea
/u/lonelysweetpotato [5'7 | 140 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 18 14:51:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rdab4/just_a_tip_free_tea/
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I don't know if this is allowed but I thought i'd let you guys know google express has a code for $10 off your order with their referral program.
Shipping is $6 so if you order something under $4 (like tea) it'll be free. I just ordered some mint chocolate tea from Tazo. Tea and coffee are what keeps me going and i know a lot of you are the same.
[Rant/Rave] I messed up in every possible way today
/u/stupidedthrow
Created: Thu Jan 18 14:12:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rd005/i_messed_up_in_every_possible_way_today/
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I made a throwaway for this because... I don't know, I'm paranoid.
* Screw-up number 1: My therapist is going on a leave of absence. I really like her, but I don't talk to her about my ED. I've hinted that there are things that are taking up a lot of space in my head but I feel like I can't talk about them, but that's as close as I've gotten. Anyway, she gave me too possible referrals within the same organization, and I read their bios on the website. One happens to have experience treating EDs and the other does not. I thought, "Ok, here's your chance, you really need some help with this," but I made an appointment with the other one because I didn't want to be stopped while I still felt big. So dumb.
* Screw-up number 2: It was a fasting day, according to my calendar, but at about 4pm I felt hungry and stressed and I broke down and bought a small package of candy, which woke up the monster and led to a whole bunch of other food, as well.
* Screw-up number 3: I purged. Not everything, not even close, but I figured out how to do it, today of all days, after years and years of believing I couldn't.
*What is wrong with me?!* It's the very first day of the semester, and this is how I'm going to start out? Somewhere in my brain there is a smart part, some small cluster of cells that know what I need to do to not be miserable, but I can't seem to utilize them lately.
[Rant/Rave] You know you’re deep in this shit when...
/u/carlems [5'2| CW: 101,8 | GW: 97 | -19]
Created: Thu Jan 18 14:06:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rcy90/you_know_youre_deep_in_this_shit_when/
---
...you’re having sex with your boyfriend for the first time and all you can think about is how much you might be burning calories while doing that (also TMI but I was panicing way too much about swallowing during bj because sperms have calories lmao)
[Discussion] Songs about EDs and/or mental illness, go!
/u/functionalatbest
Created: Thu Jan 18 13:59:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rcw81/songs_about_eds_andor_mental_illness_go/
---
My current go-to is A Better Son/Daughter by Rilo Kiley.
Gimme yours! I wanna make a playlist.
[Rant/Rave] Why?
/u/Rolly_Polly_ [Height 172 | CW 71 | GW 55 | BMI 23.86 | 30F]
Created: Thu Jan 18 13:52:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rcufm/why/
---
Let me start by saying that I am going through a horrible binge cycle at the moment and I literally can't stop eating. I have gained so much weight. I don't know how to stop and have a severe case of depression.
My mom just sat opposite of me, looked in my direction and just said: "Hey, your face seems rounder. Looks like you gained weight."
I kind of froze and asked her not to discuss this. She is upset with me now and just said that she is not lecturing me or anything. She knows that I have issues with my weight. But still felt that she needs to bring it up.
She also is upset that I don't want to tell her everything that I am doing and be the best friends for ever.
I am so upset about this all. And of course, my stupid brain just goes and wants candy to soothe myself. WTF is wrong with me?! Why can't I be normal?
Sorry about the rant.
[Tip] PSA: Sugar free jam (10 cals/serving)
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | CW: 119 | GW: small | F]
Created: Thu Jan 18 13:12:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rcjpg/psa_sugar_free_jam_10_calsserving/
---
I'm on mobile, please flair as tip. Thanks!
So, I've had some pretty killer jelly/jam/artificial fruity flavored cravings since this morning. Broke down and went to the store, thinking maybe I'd spend the rest of the day's calories on a jar of Smuckers or something.
Turns out I could get a jar of sugar free jam for less than $3. And guys! It's actually good! Smuckers and the generic brand both had varieties of sugar free jams and jellies, all for 10 calories/tbsp. The jars have about 21 servings altogether--so, 210 if you're feeling a binge. I wish I'd known about this before all my fruit snack-related binges of the past.
The only thing stopping me from devouring the whole jar was the 3g of fiber per serving (over 60g for the entire shebang). I feel like it might have the same effect as sugar free candy, sooo I'm a little scared for my anus rn. But if I get diarrhea, it'll probably be worth it tbh.
Edit: Just had one of the best poops of my life. No scary laxative nightmare. 10/10 would eat again.
[Intro] Intro
/u/_1a2b3c_ [5'8.5"| CW: 194ish lbs | BMI: 27.84 | Weight Lost: 16 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jan 18 12:54:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rcf2h/intro/
---
Hey guys - I've been lurking here for a while but finally decided to make an intro post!
I've struggled with ED and body dysmorphia since I was probably 12ish years old and just starting middle school. I was better for a long time, and eating "healthy", until I started to go too far in the other direction.
Now I'm in my 3rd year of university. I am currently much too overweight for my height, and my ED habits have started rapidly reappearing as I've realized how awful my body looks due to constant overeating. I'm working on just finding a happy medium for myself.
Anyway thanks for listening and hello!!
[Rant/Rave] Recovery maybe
/u/Hyde25 [5'6'' |97.0| 15.72| F]
Created: Thu Jan 18 12:50:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rce2z/recovery_maybe/
---
I saw a therapist for my ED over the summer, but ending up quitting after about 6 sessions with her. The therapist emailed me about a month after I quit to see how I was doing and letting me know my usual time with her was still available if I ever wanted to come back.
I finally started to think that maybe I should go back, so I emailed her, got no response back. I then sent an email directly to the ED center that I had gone to/she works for, no response again, called and left a message with the center, and once again, no response.
Its just so frustrating, the first time I ever contacted them, I got a few calls back, plus emails. They sent me options on treatment and put me in touch with a former patient of theirs for any questions I might have had, which was really helpful. Its disheartening to reach out again and get no response this time.
[Discussion] DAE binge to get rid of urges/cravings?
/u/PineapplePrincezz [Height: 5'2.5" | CW 104 and fat AF| BMI: 18.54 |LW: 81.5| F]
Created: Thu Jan 18 12:46:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rccxm/dae_binge_to_get_rid_of_urgescravings/
---
So I have been craving frosting and white chocolate and nutelLa for about three weeks.. and like having little bites here and there (leading to me feeling helpless and out of control and not following my eating schedule and I’ve maintained my high weight of 104 for almost a month now and it needs to go)
Anyhow, I just allowed myself to binge (or what I consider a binge) and ate 1/4 of a honeydew, a lot of white chocolate covered popcorn, c&Sed the hell out of some chocolates a few weeks back, a couple spoonfuls of halo top, literally mixed frosting in a bowl for the hell of it and then didn’t eat more than a serving of it, and finally I had wheat thins and fudge and now I never ever want any of that shit ever again
TLDR: DAE also get rid of their cravings by eating a lot of something? It always works for me
Even though it’s painful as fuck and i hate myself for eating too much, I got rid of all Hershey’s and dove cravings I ever had like two years ago, don’t care at all for potato chips since five years ago, can’t stand peanut butter since at least three years ago, and finally frosting will be off of my cravings list 😅 anyone else do this?
I feel so fcked up but it works ..
<I’m on mobile so I’m having trouble flairing this post>
[Help] Avoiding a binge after a drink?
/u/HeadSpace1
Created: Thu Jan 18 12:28:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rc7w2/avoiding_a_binge_after_a_drink/
---
It's been a rough week, and so at 7:30 on a Thursday I'm borderline tipsy. I've been doing pretty well all day and have lost a couple pounds since new years, but can't get the idea of buttering the load of bread in my fridge, adding some salt, and losing myself
Thanks for any advice :)
[Rant/Rave] Breaking point [TW: purge]
/u/2girly4me [5'6 • SW 145# • -15# • CW 130# • GW 120# • 20F]
Created: Thu Jan 18 12:28:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rc7uq/breaking_point_tw_purge/
---
I B/P regularly and I couldn't control it. I just had a breaking point this morning.
I overate and purged twice yesterday. Then I woke up early around when my parents left for work. I ate half a jar of PB, and some other stuff. I puked an hour later after starting. It was hard to purge. I drunk a lot of diet soda, and the CO2 made my throat hurt which affected my purge. I slept until noon and was feeling weak. I think I had dreams where I was in my bed just not being able to move at all, or open my eyes. I didn't know what side I was sleeping on. I opened my eyes and saw I was sleeping on the other side of my body. I guess I was disoriented. Idk if that was a dream, it felt like it.
I wanna be done with B/P'ing. This is exhausting. All I can think about now is how there's too much sugar and fat in everything.
I bought coffee grounds a few weeks ago. I just began drinking it hoping my urges to eat will decrease. I fear eating now. Everytime I eat something small, it always leads to overeating.
Not looking for advice, just wanna rant.
Edit: I have been wanting to use these purges as a motivation to not do it again. The fear of purging usually goes away after an hour. But this time, it's been 8 hours and I still fear the symptoms from throwing up.
[Discussion] Excitement about food
/u/chocolattts [5'5"|CW:125|GW:105|21F]
Created: Thu Jan 18 11:27:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rbrlg/excitement_about_food/
---
I hate how excited I get about food. I just did a big restriction grocery shop and I'm so excited about what I bought. Why am I like this?
Pls tell me I'm not alone. Like grocery shopping is stressful but exciting all at once
[Help] How to leave your house when you can't stop self loathing?
/u/RoseliaHearts [5'8" | ??? | F | 115]
Created: Thu Jan 18 11:17:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rbore/how_to_leave_your_house_when_you_cant_stop_self/
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I was feeling really good today. My dad got me a bunch of clothes. I have class in 45 minutes but I have to leave in 15. I did a full face of makeup and wore the new clothes and I just....can't leave the house. I feel so awful and sick to my stomach. I'm not crying because I don't want to mess up my makeup. I really want to go to the library but I don't know how I plan to show myself to the world when I feel so disgusting.
[Rant/Rave] Bought groceries to cook for my flatmates but ended up binging -_-
/u/mina1200
Created: Thu Jan 18 11:08:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rbm6l/bought_groceries_to_cook_for_my_flatmates_but/
---
[removed]
The Doctor's Scale
/u/fatty_mayonaise
Created: Thu Jan 18 10:38:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rbe8h/the_doctors_scale/
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Hi, I'm new here, and ugghhhhh. Haven't had a doctor's appointment in over 3 years because I'm so ashamed of my weight since having kids. Just had to go in for an ear infection and I just... don't ever want to eat again after seeing that number. I knew what it would be. It's the same one that started back at me on my scale at home this morning but FUCK this time I had an audience looking at it with me. The next time I go back to that office it WILL be lower.
[Rant/Rave] DAE hurt yourself harder when you want to stop after getting hurt but then remember you really hate yourself
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jan 18 09:52:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rb10w/dae_hurt_yourself_harder_when_you_want_to_stop/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I've been discharged from inpatient from 7 days and lost 10.9lbs lol
/u/lunamoon1 [165.5cm | cw: 104.4 | lw: 93lbs |20f]
Created: Thu Jan 18 09:37:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rax7u/ive_been_discharged_from_inpatient_from_7_days/
---
Annnnd I'm going to get readmitted soon. I'm on a community treatment order which means basically I legally have to stay over a certain weight(110lbs) or I get readmitted(I was detained in hospital)
Literally I swear once I get out into the free world, my brain just goes back into the restriction mode but this is the quickest I've ever lost it. Is it bad that I want to lose more so when I go into inpatient I'm going to be even thinner?
[Help] how to handle grocery stores?
/u/fig-illann
Created: Thu Jan 18 09:10:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7raq3q/how_to_handle_grocery_stores/
---
it seems like every time i try to go grocery shopping, i either get things i didn't even want or even worse: things that arent vegan or even things im allergic to, so i have to go *back* inside and make the return.
i just seem to panic when im there, surrounded by food and people who might see me and think: "why the fuck is *that* thing buying food? it doesn't need it" or something, even though i know people dont even think about me or other people while they're living their own life.
and the only thing with lists is that, most of the time i dont even know what i want. there are a few times like on holidays where i make lists but in most situations i just want to be able to walk in there like a normal person and say: yeah this looks great lets get this.
instead of being in a blind panic and just grabbing shit at random, then hating every thing i got and wasting my own hard earned money.... (IT sucks)
[Other] Where to get TDEE breakdown?
/u/figuredhood
Created: Thu Jan 18 09:08:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rape2/where_to_get_tdee_breakdown/
---
Hey guys does anyone know where I can find info about what a person’s tdee( sedentary or even bmr) is used up as? All I can find is occasional snippets of things like:“The body burns x amount to digest food”.
I can’t seem to find a full breakdown of what the energy is used for in total.
I’m really curious what the extra 300 cals or so from my bmr to tdee accounts for.
If anyone has any sources or info I’d really appreciate it.
[Tip] I found a website I think you all might like!
/u/MeMyselfAndCarbs [5'3" | 110.6 | 25F]
Created: Thu Jan 18 09:05:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7raoiz/i_found_a_website_i_think_you_all_might_like/
---
eatthismuch.com
You can generate sample meal plans based on caloric goal, food preference, number of meals...even budget!
[Help] Ephedrine in the uk?
/u/datnastaythrowaway [H 164 | CW 56kg | GW: 50kg]
Created: Thu Jan 18 08:32:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7rag73/ephedrine_in_the_uk/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Do most people with ED’s go into each day with their main objective being to try and not binge?
/u/pedaling-backwards [5’2 🏙 | CW: 106 | GW1: 100]
Created: Thu Jan 18 07:53:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ra6l8/do_most_people_with_eds_go_into_each_day_with/
---
I posted this on Peach but after seeing some of the responses I got on there, I was curious what the rest of ya at /r/proed could say about it.
Even though 9 times out of 10 I go into each day wanting to restrict, I am typically never 100% truly confident that I will be able to successfully restrict that day. Instead, my main mindset throughout each day is to just try and not binge, and I’m always sort of paranoid that a binge is right around the corner.
I was just curious for how the rest of you approached things — when you plan on restricting (or even eating normally), is the thought of binging on the forefront of your mind for that day or is it a complete afterthought?
[Help] I need to get out of this binge and B/P cycle I’ve just been so depressed.
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Thu Jan 18 07:40:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ra3rg/i_need_to_get_out_of_this_binge_and_bp_cycle_ive/
---
I’m just so depressed and my fat disgusting body just keeps binging for days then binge purge episodes. I know I’m gaining slowly. All my pants still fit but I feel my tummy getting squishy. Ughhhh I have NO energy and have cut for the first time in a year.
How do you guys break this cycle? I need to get back to myself. I’m so good at restricting in warmer months. I hate my body and mind so bad right now. I’m crying at work. I’m just so sad.
I’m sorry guys for this depressive post again this week. It’s just been a lot and I am struggling so badly.
[Rant/Rave] I keep making appointments and cancelling them
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jan 18 07:40:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ra3op/i_keep_making_appointments_and_cancelling_them/
---
[deleted]
the new eating disorder forum
/u/anorexia_throwawayx
Created: Thu Jan 18 07:40:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ra3kj/the_new_eating_disorder_forum/
---
http://eatingdisorder.me/
[Discussion] Bulimic rock bottoms, DAE?
/u/hardyzafon [5'4 | LW: 88 | CW:120| GW:100]
Created: Thu Jan 18 07:37:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ra2w8/bulimic_rock_bottoms_dae/
---
I have been in so many rock bottom/anxiety inducing/ absurd situations because of my bulimia. I wanna see if anyone else relates.
I don't live alone so I prefer to purge in public bathrooms. I've got them located in both my city and my holiday place. Purging there is fine, I just do it and dgaf if anyone hears me (only way I can actually get it up, forgetting everyone else). At first I did but I realized it makes it worse because anxiety makes it hard to get things up and it takes longer. Does anyone else know what the ettiquette for this is anyway? Is it 'wrong' to purge in a bathroom you've ''paid'' for i.e. a restaurant? Is there such a thing as ''getting caught''? I was once asked to get out by a waitress cause I was taking so long, that stopped me from purging in bathrooms for a while and made me paranoid, I think she thought I was shooting up or something.
I've purged in bowls in my room which I then empty in the bathroom and in a field near my house. Once I was so desperate when I had nowhere to purge that I purged in the street at night while it was snowing, -5 degrees or something. I've made up the weirdest excuses as to why I was going out at weird times at night, and I hate lying. I've even purged in a street in a big city at 3 am where anyone could have seen me, plus I've put myself in very dangerous situations. Not to talk about what the cashiers of my supermarket must think of me. Anyway, these are all things that have happened and I'm not even doing ''that badly''. If that's how fucked up things get for me, I can't imagine what things those who are suffering more than me must have gone through. I mean, I b/ped maybe three times a week at my worst and I'm doing well on the outside. When I was anorexic I couldn't keep appearences up but now I can. Still, I never hear about all the fucked up situations we get into. Plus nothing disgusts me anymore. Like, literally, nothing. Maybe it's not to do with being bulimic but with my personality but yeah, any rock bottom moments?
[Discussion] Guy fieri and weird distractions
/u/elizasbreath [162cm| CW 46.5kg | GW: 45kg | -16kg I 18F]
Created: Thu Jan 18 07:28:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ra0xj/guy_fieri_and_weird_distractions/
---
I have literally no explanation as to why watching his shows or interviews helps me restrict but it does?? I love guy so much I just stop thinking of food??
Does anyone else have any weird distractions?
[Rant/Rave] This is why I always overestimate my calories 😑
/u/UnrepresentativeOat
Created: Thu Jan 18 07:19:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r9z2t/this_is_why_i_always_overestimate_my_calories/
---
https://i.redd.it/wxs5c2ks4ua01.jpg
[Other] a moment of silence to honor all the brave souls...
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 80 lbs | 15.3 | -27 lbs | f]
Created: Thu Jan 18 07:13:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r9xqu/a_moment_of_silence_to_honor_all_the_brave_souls/
---
A moment of silence to honor all of the brave souls heading out to work/school/whatever before their lax has fully run its course.
May we all be blessed enough to not shit our pants in public 🙏🏻
[Help] So much for fucking recovery.
/u/ohwellwhatever90 [166cm | 44 | 16.0 | -30 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 18 06:40:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r9qvg/so_much_for_fucking_recovery/
---
I'm not sure what I'm hoping for posting this here but i just have to get this out somewhere.
So I've been underweight for about 2 years now after a relapse. I'm currently at my lowest adult weight and have been maintaining around here for a while, around BMI 16. Right now I'm struggling with restricting and mini b/ps a few times a week.
I recently worked up the courage to email a dietitian and have been considering getting some support and trying to take some steps towards recovery. Right now I feel like that's totally pointless and stupid of me to even think because of other people's opinions and input.
My husband wants me to be happy and well, obviously, and he hates when I purge or am obsessive/anxious about food and weight, but as far as he's concerned my body looks absolutely fine as it is. He often compliments me on the way I look and seems pretty keen on my current figure. Which is great, except that if I were to actually commit to recovery and follow a weight restoration meal plan, I'd soon be like 10 kg heavier. That's really tough for me to commit to when I know he likes me as I am now, and obviously I'm more comfortable in terms of body image now than I am 10 kg heavier.
So that's been a worry, but then today it got even worse. I went out with a friend who I actually know from treatment but she's now recovered and we both have children and ED stuff rarely comes up. She asked if I'm fine now and said I seem fine. I said yeah I guess so, but that my mom wanted me to gain (my mother only sees me on Skype, but she's said many times that she's upset about my current appearance and wants me to be a healthy weight). My friend basically responded that she didn't understand why my mom would say that, because i look 'fine.' She didn't give the impression that she sees me as underweight at all, and acted like my mom was being silly and weird to say otherwise.
I'm sure you guys can understand how like... distressing.. that was for me to hear. Because now not only do I feel like recovery and gaining is pointless and not worth the emotional stress or financial strain, I also feel totally invalidated about my current weight. Both my husband and my friend see me as like thin but not unhealthy looking, and that's at a weight that I thought was relatively low. Now I feel like in order to warrant recovery I need to lose even more. I'm so exhausted and feel so defeated by this disease but all of these opinions are making it impossible to feel motivated to recover, especially when I'd need to have the motivation to do it alone because I can't afford to see a therapist or go to more intensive treatment.
I don't know. Just... help :'( I'm really upset. I feel like an idiot for even believing that I have anorexia. I clearly don't. I'm probably just really skinny-fat and have zero muscle so I'm one of those people who has a low BMI but isn't actually underweight. Fuck my life.
[Discussion] January 18th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 18 05:43:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r9fzz/january_18th_2018_question_of_the_day/
---
What was peaceful about today?
It wasn’t getting up, that’s for damn sure. And I’m going to a “romance” (aka sex toy/lotions/lubes/lingerie/whatever) party tonight so I’m sure that’ll be peaceful 🙄😂
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support January 18, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jan 18 05:11:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r9ac0/weekly_emotional_support_january_18_2018/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! January 18, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jan 18 05:10:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r9a3x/daily_food_diary_january_18_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 18, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] “skipping meals” is a foreign concept to me
/u/lowkeydeadinside [5'6" | cw: 125 | ugw: 98 | 17F | 🍑: starvingprincess]
Created: Thu Jan 18 03:54:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r8xw2/skipping_meals_is_a_foreign_concept_to_me/
---
because i eat *all fucking day* when i eat. i’m convinced i’ve developed BED since recovering from my restrictive ED in the past couple years. i’m 20 pounds higher than the weight that i’ve *never* had trouble maintaining (i’m too embarrassed to update my flair) because all i do is eat. i literally come home from school and will eat over a thousand calories within 20 minutes. i don’t know what to do anymore. nothing helps me eat moderately anymore, i’ve tried everything there is.
[Rant/Rave] Special brownies
/u/mildolconf [5'9" | 134.2 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 18 02:29:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r8l1v/special_brownies/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] How do people just casually eat cake?
/u/blerg1234567
Created: Thu Jan 18 01:11:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r89t2/how_do_people_just_casually_eat_cake/
---
Occasionally I’ll come home, open the fridge, and see a huge fucking slice of cake that my roommate has bought from the store. My sister used to do the same shit (although it would end up in her face well before it got to the fridge).
Like... who buys cake? If I buy cake/cookies/non-halo top ice cream all of it ends up in my face within a half hour and then down the fucking toilet. Who has the self control and/or self love to just eat cake?
[Other] Trying the ABC diet and it’s actually pretty great
/u/Fallout_Dovahkiin
Created: Wed Jan 17 23:56:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r7xyt/trying_the_abc_diet_and_its_actually_pretty_great/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Companies are shitty and I am a product of a shitty world.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Wed Jan 17 23:50:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r7wyx/companies_are_shitty_and_i_am_a_product_of_a/
---
On mobile flair as rant/rave
I read an article that didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. Essential nutritional labels are lies so companies can peddle more food on people.
I count calories meticulously and even over estimating I still feel like I am wrong because I am wrong. If I had the time and the label I would test everything and publish a black book of calories that companies don't disclose and would love to see the lawsuits that could occur.
Maybe I am power tripping a little over there. I just feel upset that the world is dishonest and awful. I don't want to be healthy because healthy is fat to me and I don't even know what fat is. It a some word we made up to put people down and yet it weighs heavily on my mind (pun intended)
The world is shallow and so are we regardless of how much we try to claim we are not. I feel like animals don't develope eating disorders but maybe they do. I guess animals just don't mate if they aren't desired.
I just want to wake up and not be lied to and I want these liars to pay for the damage they cause to society. Culture creates eating disorders and so did stress and depression and I guess a lot of things.
I just want to not think so much. But I do. And so I am eating barely anything cause double barely anything is still not much I hope. Might need to cut my intake down more from it a low number and overestimate more. So eat like 100 calories and estimate is as 300 and call it a day.
If I die I would love to put my blood on the hands of those partially responsible. To the teacher who took advantage of me, my parents for the emotional abuse and neglect, the person's who assaulted me and made me ashamed of my body. To the people who didn't think I was sick.
I am just really down.
Sorry.
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] Loss of appetite due to depression is bringing back alllllllll my ED feels
/u/sharkmaid420
Created: Wed Jan 17 23:48:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r7wq0/loss_of_appetite_due_to_depression_is_bringing/
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Hi everyone, new to this sub. So I struggled a lot with both bulimia and anorexia in high school but since then I'd been, for the most part, recovered (still got some intrusive thoughts from time to time but that was it). I was even going to the gym trying to gain some muscle mass since I'd fucked up so much of my muscle tissue due to starving back then. But I've had depression for a while now and recently it's led to a complete loss of appetite and feeling repulsed just thinking about food. So I've barely been eating, not because I'm trying to lose weight but because I can't stomach anything, but now all those feeling are coming back. Sometimes my stomach will growl and I'll almost cry because I'd honestly forgotten how GOOD it felt to be so empty. How pure. I got weighed at the GP yesterday and I was stunned that I was back in the 40s (kilos), which hadn't happened since my recovery, because I honestly hadn't noticed any weight loss. I've been prescribed more antidepressants partially to help bring my appetite back... but now I'm not sure I want it back. It feels so good to be losing again. It's addictive.
[Discussion] Hoarding and EDS
/u/theteaiscold
Created: Wed Jan 17 23:46:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r7wgt/hoarding_and_eds/
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Finding the root of my hoarding tendencies is tricky, but it’s *so much worse* when my ED is in full swing.
I think it’s partially because I live alone (with my dog) and work from home, so if I stock up it’s possible to hide in my studio pretty much forever...aand keep restricting/doing weird ED shit in peace and without temptations or distraction.
On another post recently I commented that I hoard pretty much everything—food (safe and binge), zero cal drinks, weed, medicine, cleaning supplies, beauty products.
What are your experiences with hoarding and ED behaviors?
[Help] Black coffee
/u/DangerTaterz [5'4 | CW 205.4 | GW1 199 | UGW 130? | 35.6 | 25 F]
Created: Wed Jan 17 23:17:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r7rjh/black_coffee/
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How did you get used to drinking coffee without adding anything, or just coffee in general? I can only drink coffee when the taste has been completely hidden, like some cappuccinos. Basically super sweet drinks with very little actual coffee. And drinking all those calories will definitely cancel out any benefit of the caffeine.
[Rant/Rave] [Rant/Rave] PSA about pharmacies
/u/takayl [5'10 | 178 | 25 | -20 | 18F]
Created: Wed Jan 17 23:15:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r7r4k/rantrave_psa_about_pharmacies/
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I'm not sure if everyone already knew this but it looks like pharmacies can share your prescription info via mail. I'm at college and today my parents received a letter from CVS telling them that my prescription for Wellbutrin needs to be changed to 90-day instead of 30-day. I guess they got my address either through my medical provider or my (parent's) insurance company? I don't think there's any way for others to access any of your other health info, even if you're on their insurance but definitely call your pharmacy and providers to specify email-only notifications or change your address. lol in other news my parents didn't know i have depression or b/p issues and telling them about depression today might have ruined my life because they think that there's something fundamentally wrong with people w mental illness/they don't actually exist so big fuck you to CVS
[Help] How am I not losing ANY weight?!
/u/AirmansGirl [5'5 | CW 128 | GW 111| 26F]
Created: Wed Jan 17 23:02:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r7owe/how_am_i_not_losing_any_weight/
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I’ve been eating less than 700 calories everyday for more than a week and I’ve lost not even a pound. How?! I also haven’t pooped in a few days but I thought that was because I’m not eating much. I’m so frustrated.
[Rant/Rave] My ED make a me wasteful and I'm upset.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Wed Jan 17 22:25:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r7iar/my_ed_make_a_me_wasteful_and_im_upset/
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On mobile flair as rant/ rave
I went out with a friend to cinema bae to see a movie, the shape of water for those curious. It was good. I got an alcoholic drink that was low in calories a and still didn't drink it and the it in the trash when my friend wasn't paying attention.
The drink costed 13 dollars. It was a double vodka soda water with like.I lime. I had two sips and then tosses it because I wanted to save my calories for some thing else because I plan to fast tomorrow.
I sort of binged on fried pickles, I ate like 10 of them and then broke my no purge streak. I purged the pickles and it actually hurt. I feel awful now I might not even have my late snack now. I walked 25k steps and ate 350 calories...
Kill me. Send internet hugs and support I feel awful.
Willow.
[Other] I've been playing with this webpage for 10 minutes now... Had fun entering my SW, CW, GW, and then trying them all in as many countries as I could think of :)
/u/yssjfs [SW:160|LW:112|CW:130.8|GW:☠]
Created: Wed Jan 17 21:43:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r7a8s/ive_been_playing_with_this_webpage_for_10_minutes/
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http://www.bbc.com/news/health-18770328
[Help] I just purged for the first time
/u/sleep-iest [5'5" | 20F | cw 176 | hw 190 | lw 120 | gw 100]
Created: Wed Jan 17 21:23:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r76aw/i_just_purged_for_the_first_time/
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I've been restricting off and on for pretty much as long as I can remember, and have tried to purge a few times in the past. Last night I was especially upset about my dinner, and got close, but tonight, even though I fasted all day to prepare, I went out to dinner with my roommates and felt so full and desperate and disgusting. I tried purging and it worked but I don't feel better/am anxious because it's not like a lot came out. Sorry just feeling.... emotional.
[Discussion] Is there a website that gives you a scaled model of yourself?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 17 21:11:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r7412/is_there_a_website_that_gives_you_a_scaled_model/
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Does anyone know if there’s a website where you put in your measurements and it gives you a scaled model of how you look? I feel like that could be really useful for body dysmorphia and figuring out how you actually look because it would be just a figure instead of looking like you.
Edit: forgot to flair ans can’t figure out how to fix it on mobile, sorry!
[Rant/Rave] I’m a random
/u/LOdowwnlorettabrown
Created: Wed Jan 17 21:04:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r72nh/im_a_random/
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Been eating less and less. I just feel so weak and dull it’s hard to eat ever unless I’m fucked up. My friend had been sneaking granola bars in my car console bc i confided and told her, but restriction isn’t the problem. Had to eat one today bc i was sure I’d pass out while driving home. Most times when i eat “freely” I’m drunk. Did this, this evening and decided to purge (have done this but actually hate it), and just felt...relief for the one fucking meal i treated myself to today. Every meeting for work i have everything is driven by how people view me and my body. I’m falling in love with someone who I’m afraid will think I’m too fat to deem me the Same. He for the first time in people history called me small and i thought that he could sense my Ed and said it to make me feel good. Clearly needed to vent. Tbh I’m happy i puked bc it helped me think about wtf is actually going on up in my brain.
Oy,
Loretta
[Discussion] Looking for a friend to casually talk to
/u/misunderstoodsamurai
Created: Wed Jan 17 20:21:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r6tla/looking_for_a_friend_to_casually_talk_to/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Anyone else like this?
/u/parawhour
Created: Wed Jan 17 20:07:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r6qk2/anyone_else_like_this/
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So I was diagnosed as bulimic when I was 12. I’m 18 now and I always thought I was bulimic (been hospitalized too many times to count) but I’ve noticed that I think I’m anorexic b/p subtype or whatever it’s called. I was never 100% honest with therapist or doctors because if I told them everything then they’d stop me from losing weight and make me eat.
So my question is does anyone else do this: I never want food in my stomach. Or, more accurately, I never want to DIGEST food. It’s been like this for years. I have a constant urge to binge but I ALWAYS need to purge or else I have a meltdown and take 10-15 Ducolax. If I muster the strength, I’m able to fast for days. I never really restrict because in my head, ANYTHING is a binge. So even if I eat a single piece of plain wheat bread or something, I will purge. Because of that, I just fast until I break down and binge, then purge, take laxatives, try to exercise as much as possible, then try to fast again. Can anyone relate? Does anyone know what this is? The name isn’t really that important I’m just curious. It’s been on my mind lately.
[Help] Safe Food
/u/irrevocably_damaged
Created: Wed Jan 17 19:50:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r6mmz/safe_food/
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Hello ladies and gents! I just (as the title hints) wanted to know what you guys favorite safe foods are?
Mine is literally anything fiber one or those 100 cal Chips Ahoy/Oreo thin crisps.🙂
[Other] I’m Going to Get Help
/u/lost-in-an-echo [5'3" | CW: 87 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 17 19:36:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r6jkj/im_going_to_get_help/
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I posted last week about having trouble eating due to anxiety. I’m still having issues. Today I had a terrible panic attack, so I decided to schedule an appointment with a doctor because I know I need help. As for my eating disorder, it has become a instance of “be careful what you wish for.” I had a moment of clarity where I looked at myself in the mirror and realized how frail and sick I am. As I said in my previous post, I am scared- because I feel like I’m slowly killing myself.
I don’t know what my current weight is, but it’s a bit lower than my flair. My main problem is severe anxiety and I really want to get it under control, because it’s interfering with my daily life. I want to eat and get over my fear of gaining weight. Sorry if this post seems a little jumbled, I just need to get it off my chest!
[Help] Is there a true way to see how I look?
/u/aceshighsays [5'2" | C: 107.8 | -30.2 | F | G: 99]
Created: Wed Jan 17 19:27:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r6ho9/is_there_a_true_way_to_see_how_i_look/
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Is it possible for different mirrors to make you look different? For example, the full length mirror I have at home makes me look fat. The mirror at the gym and at work make me look skinny. I have no idea how I look like. Do I need to lose more weight? I have a web camera for my dog, and I watched myself on it but the angle is weird and I look really really fat. Is there a true way to see how I look?
[Other] Maintenance update
/u/That_1bitch
Created: Wed Jan 17 19:02:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r6c4p/maintenance_update/
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Okay I doubt anyone really cares but I made a post about eating at maintenance to get off this god forsaken plateau. Well I did it, I ate all 1800 calories and now I feel disgusting and wanna go home and cry lmao it's so weird to think that this is what normal people eat every. Single. Day.
I'm kind of debating trying to purge when i get home. I've never done it before but I feel so disgusting and desperate right now, it's all I want.
[Rant/Rave] That horrible feeling when you can't get everything out.
/u/social_anx_throwaway
Created: Wed Jan 17 18:39:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r66zk/that_horrible_feeling_when_you_cant_get/
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For some reason pasta is my enemy, I can never purge it all and need extra time with it. My mom knocked on the door mid purge to accuse me of throwing up since she heard "belching." I just let it go for now and left the bathroom because it wasn't worth the fight. I weighed myself and I'm up 3 lbs since this morning which sucks so bad. Probably gonna drink a senna tea and fast tomorrow. I hate not being able to get everything out and having it left in my stomach. I look so bloated. I don't even want to drink the senna tea because it will make me feel even more bloated.
[Help] Bloating at high restriction??
/u/peridoti [5'0 | 130 lb | F]
Created: Wed Jan 17 18:32:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r65dw/bloating_at_high_restriction/
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Freaking out. This morning I weighed EIGHT pounds heavier than the previous day. I'm only five feet, so bloating eight pounds is GINORMOUS.
It's my first week starting a birth control and I have had a PERFECT two weeks of around 400 to 800 calories. No cheats. It's been great. I drink a lot of water during the day and have barely peed.
Please help, I feel like a monster. WHEN WILL IT DROP.
[Rant/Rave] I’m so frustrated!
/u/bbybluez
Created: Wed Jan 17 18:18:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r6201/im_so_frustrated/
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I don’t understand why I can’t stop eating. Why am I always hungry? It’s exhausting I’m tired of fighting w my self every single minute and second. It’s getting to the point where I just want to sleep all day. I use to have amazing control now i have none.
[Rant/Rave] I miss my flat stomach
/u/cammie5
Created: Wed Jan 17 18:17:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r61q6/i_miss_my_flat_stomach/
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[removed]
[Help] Hypothyroidism?
/u/LLazarus732
Created: Wed Jan 17 18:11:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r60ba/hypothyroidism/
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So apparently I seem to have given myself hypothyroidism. I had blood work done that my doctor said points to it, and I was wondering if anyone here has any experience with it? Is it reversible? I’m pretty upset and freaked out and don’t know who to ask about it. My doctor knows about my disorder but honestly isn’t the most on top of things or focused on my ED, plus I feel awful talking about it so I didn’t get much information from her about it. I’d really appreciate any info or advice :(
[Rant/Rave] A fun list of the things I binged on/plan on binging on today
/u/oneblueboot [5' 7.5" | CW 122 lbs | GW 112 | 18.8 | 26F]
Created: Wed Jan 17 18:05:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r5yuc/a_fun_list_of_the_things_i_binged_onplan_on/
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- an ENTIRE FUCKING BAG of Smartfood popcorn: 650 cal
- 3 cups of sugar free jello: 70 cal
- 200 g frozen grapes: 134 cal
- pint of of oatmeal cookie Halo Top: 280 cal
Blew immediately past my goal for today and I’m not even sorry enough yet to purge. The meds must be working.
But hey, at least I’m still below 1200 😂
[Rant/Rave] I am such a fucking idiot.
/u/axanax_lattepls [5'4~ cw: 108~ gw: 95/85?]
Created: Wed Jan 17 18:03:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r5ydb/i_am_such_a_fucking_idiot/
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So I've been under a ton of pressure lately (lol when am I not) and the brain fog has been so so so awful. Anyway I've been heavy restricting and fasting lately but due to school and needing to function cognitively just a bit, I decided to eat. I'm visiting my boyfriend at the moment and I mostly try not to eat when I'm with him unless it's every once in awhile so he doesn't start to talk about it (he respects that I do not want to talk about my eating disorder. If I bring it up he's all ears but other than that i've asked him to be blind to it. it's barley working) anyway I digress. Okay so i make a small-ish salad using some green veggies, all raw, no salad dressing, no spices, just the veggies in a bowl and multiple cups of herbal fasting tea. A safe meal for myself. Wellllll that went to shit because I realized that I didn't finish doing a lab and it was due in hours!! and then I just felt bad about myself for other reasons because I just feel like I'm wasting my time by eating idk and just a million other reasons.
So I eat my makeshift wannasalad and a bit of time passes. I decide to wash my hair and stop being such a bum and when I do, and go to get undressed, I weigh myself, look at myself in the mirror and I literally lose my shit. I can just see the salad on my body. Like the dimples on the back of my thighs that weren't there before, my hip bones and ribs weren't protruding as much, and I swear I got so bloated when I usually don't get bloated. It was fucking awful. So what did I do? I purged. Easy purge, nothing to complain about there. The problem is that I flush. And I don't just flush once or twice. I flush until I feel I'm going to die. My spit needs to taste like pure bile. My teeth need to be sore. My knuckles need to bleed. I just need to know that I got everything up. Anyway I mostly did this over the porcelain goddess but I did flush once more for the final time while I was showering and I could have fucking sworn there were no pieces of lettuce. Apparently there were.
I know this because my boyfriend tells me that he found bits in the shower drain. He looked so goddamn concerned when he was telling me this. He was staring at me so intently and I swear I was going to fucking break. I've never felt so damn vulnerable and so fucking afraid and the crazy thing is I wanted to tell him. I wanted to say "yeah babe, I did, I'm under so much fucking pressure right now and I'm really sick. I'm not doing well". But I couldn't, I had to say no, and deflect and all sorts of other shit. He knows. He completely knows. I mean he's always known but not to the extent but now, there's no more hiding. He knows too much about it now and I feel like I'm under a radar even moreso now and I just need to flee. Why am I like this? Why am I such a fucking idiot?? I feel so fucking bad for him. For having to put up with me.
This is exactly fucking why I don't eat. Because every single time I do, something goes wrong. I'm taking this as a sign. I'm done. I can't keep fucking doing this. I can't lie to my boyfriend about this shit, especially when we've been having our issues as is. I am so goddamn embarrassed. I am disgusted with myself. I feel so guilty and bad. I am a mess. I fucking hate it. I fucking hate this. I fucking hate living like this and I can't take it anymore. I'm getting to my breaking point again. I'm done eating. Whatever I can give to his dog/he'll eat, I am. The rest I'm tossing. Fuck this. Fuck eating and not being able to be normal and fucking keep food down without being a sick asshole. Fuck my foggy ass brain for not being able to be mindful of "evidence" after.
Just ugh. The embarrassment and guilt are overwhelming me and it's taking everything in me to not drive a goddamn knife through my fucking carotid.
TLDR 🔪 I am a fucking idiot. I fucking hate this eating disorder and I just want to drink my weight in vodka and die
[Rant/Rave] Turning into a bulimic?
/u/carlisam9797 [5'2" 19F | CW 119 | SW 130 | GW 105 | UGW 99]
Created: Wed Jan 17 18:03:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r5yc7/turning_into_a_bulimic/
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I started off just restricting. Having restricted successfully in the past, I know exactly what needs to be done to lose weight, and so any time I eat what I used to see as "normal" I have this insane, excruciating feeling of self hate because I know I'm gaining. Still, my addiction to food is so strong that i'm having a harder and harder time maintaining calorie restriction, so I've started just throwing up dinner more and more often. I hate this. I hate myself. Anyone with experience who can tell me whether that's even effective? I'm miserable at the thought that many bulimics stay overweight. I hate the thought that I'd be better off just living my life like normal people if I may still be gaining but I physically CAN'T just eat and think like a normal person so at the VERY LEAST I want to be losing.
[Rant/Rave] College meal plans
/u/PandorasMusicalBox [5'4" | CW: 129ish | UGW: 95 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 17 18:01:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r5y35/college_meal_plans/
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AKA why my parents are literally wasting money on me. I'm a college freshman but I refuse to eat at the dining hall, instead going out and buying groceries to make food for myself (or just buying quest protein bars and diet coke). I just *can't* eat at the dining hall. Between the unavailable nutritional information, paranoia about people not being *exact* in measuring ingrediants, and the whole scary thing that is eating in front of other people.
I have a meeting tomorrow with my college's disability services and one part of the meeting is going to be about my meal plan. Especially because my college is weird and there is a two year residency requirement for living on campus, and therefore I will have to waste another $1K for next year simply on not eating at the dining hall. Am I crazy in wanting this? Or better yet, am I crazy for having a tiny bit of hope that they might do it? I do understand that meal plans are a big cash grab, but it just fucking sucks that I'm costing my parents this much without even using some of the things they're paying for.
[Discussion] ED foods on a budget
/u/321Model [5'4| GW: 150 | 30's/F]
Created: Wed Jan 17 17:54:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r5wf8/ed_foods_on_a_budget/
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I thought I'd start a thread for folks who may be interested in tips for saving money on groceries. Please feel free to share your tips so we could all learn from each other. :)
1. Make a list with the total budget for the week/month - My partner & I keep a running list on the fridge. It contains the budget written at the top and below is our must haves or what we're craving. It reminds us of the budget and helps us determine what we really need and what we can cross off the list. Before I go shopping (because I love it so much) we review it and decide what to get. We can each get a snack or combine it to share (this month we both wanted gummies so I got 3 pounds from the bulk section).
2. Buy in bulk - I buy my rice and beans in 20-25 pound bags. The bags last us 3-4 months. Aside from being cheaper per pound, it save on trips to the store. As far as spices, flour, rolled oats, nutritional yeast and certain candies like gummies I buy those in the bulk section. The bulk section rules! Compared to pre-packaged items, they are a lot cheaper because you're not paying for the name brand. Also, with spices you can just get what you want especially if you only need a little bit rather than investing in an expensive spice.
3. Buy fruit produce seasonally or frozen - Fruit and produce that's in season is usually cheaper. However, I always check the frozen section to compare prices. You'd be surprised by the difference in price in some cases. If you get fresh, you can always freeze it so it doesn't go to waste.
4. Use your phone at the store - When comparing prices I have my calculator at the ready. I snap picture of the prices or write them down so I can compare them if they're in a different aisle. I'm too old to remember all the prices in my head. lol.
5. Cook at home - I know it goes without saying that dining in is cheaper than eating out, but I think it's a good reminder. As well, I have found that cooking is an important skill to have, especially to maintain my independence. I know I can care for myself and I take pride in my resourcefulness in finding or creating recipes.
6. Dollar Stores - You can discover some awesome finds at the Dollar store. Everything from candy, cookies to frozen foods. However, just because it's $1 doesn't mean it's cheap. Compare the price per pound. Dry beans or canned beans could be $0.88 at the supermarket, which is cheaper than the Dollar store so shop wisely.
7. Review your receipt - I review mine when I get home as a reminder of what things cost. It helps keep those numbers in my head when I go to places like the Dollar store.
I work in the food industry so I'm hyper aware of pricing and the power of a penny. If you've noticed food prices rising in the last 2-3 months you're not crazy. Since the passage of FSMA (the Food Safety Modernization Act) food manufacturers and distributors have had to ratchet up their safety measures and be in compliance by 2020, so the cost has been passed on to the customer.
[Other] Any other pet owners notice changes in their furbabies in recovery vs relapse?
/u/manateens
Created: Wed Jan 17 16:48:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r5gfo/any_other_pet_owners_notice_changes_in_their/
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I relapsed about two-ish weeks ago now, and now my cat (who also gets anxious when I do, has panic attacks from the same things that give me panic attacks, etc - and is also about as overweight as I am in the % we need to lose) is puking randomly and won't hold food down. I never let him (or anyone, lmao) see me puke, his food and lifestyle haven't changed, one of his biggest triggers is the house being messy and I've kept it tidy thanks to ECA stack energy. I work out outside the home and do my best not to pace in the house (which also makes him anxious.) I ate a "normal" amount yesterday and he kept food down, then I had a lovely breakfast b/p this morning, went for a run about 2 hour ago and when I came back from the gym there's 3 puddles of puke on my carpet. He has no access to my medications or human food. I'm getting scared for my lil' buddy.
[Discussion] Where do you notice weight loss/gain?
/u/library-cat
Created: Wed Jan 17 16:04:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r55mr/where_do_you_notice_weight_lossgain/
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I've been doing really well lately - I've finally found a comfortable level of high-ish restriction and I've been working out pretty consistently. I've lost less than ten pounds so far this month but I already notice a big difference in my face and around my collarbone area! The upside to having broad shoulders is that it really doesn't take much to make my collarbones stand out. It seems like those are usually the first places I see any kind of progress (the downside is when I gain my face plumps up like nobody's business lmao) but my stomach always seems absurdly chunky no matter what weight I am. Same with my legs.
Where do you notice weight loss/gain the most? I'm interested in seeing how it varies from person to person.
[Discussion] Anyone else looking for a sense of control rather than losing weight?
/u/skyofAuroras [5'10"| CW: 125| GW: 115|19F]
Created: Wed Jan 17 15:52:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r52qa/anyone_else_looking_for_a_sense_of_control_rather/
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I've realized a while ago that the only reason I try to restrict my eating is because I want to have a sense of control. Sure I do have some body issues and I feel fat at times, but it's not too bad. With so much in my life that's going wrong, constantly feeling lost and powerless, of course I'd look for something to control. It's not just the control, I also feel accomplished in a way whenever I lose weight. My new semester of school has started and with my schedule it's so easy to not eat anything without anyone noticing. I plan to fast all day tomorrow. It's a fucked up coping mechanism that works well for me, losing weight is just an added benefit.
"You don't have an elegant body"
/u/afraidofjudgement [4'9 | 103 | 21.5 | -57 | F |]
Created: Wed Jan 17 15:26:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r4vtv/you_dont_have_an_elegant_body/
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My husband and I were looking at cosplayers and I mention I'd like to go to a comic con one day and maybe cosplay myself.
Husband: Who would you go as? Zelda?
(He knows I love LOZ)
Me: No, I think I'm too shor...
Husband: Yeah, you aren't tall and you don't have an elegant body.
(Immediately knew he said something wrong)
Husband: I didn't mean it like that.
Me: It's okay, you already said it. You meant it. Don't dig a deeper hole.
And now I hate myself even more. I half ass had the mind to fast for the next week after my three day binge, but, now I'm sure that I will. I like the feeling anyway.
All of my life I wanted to be taller, slimmer, with long blonde hair. The epitome of feminine... to me. But, instead I'm short, frumpy looking, with a brown pixie cut (I cut it short to punish myself, but, people really think it is because I like it.) I can't stop looking in the mirror just hoping I'd disappear. I'll never be beautiful or gorgeous. I hate myself.
Noticed on this Mukbang that she never actually swallows any of the food. My disordered mind immediately suspects c+s
/u/orangecreamdrem
Created: Wed Jan 17 15:20:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r4uei/noticed_on_this_mukbang_that_she_never_actually/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=liD7l0hr4XU
[Discussion] DAE change their mind constantly?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 17 15:15:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r4sym/dae_change_their_mind_constantly/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Cant go to treatment I'll just keep bingeing until I give myself diabetes and heart disease and die fucking fat
/u/SpaceWhale88 [Height 5'3 | CW 180 | HW 197 | LW 122 | 29F]
Created: Wed Jan 17 15:04:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r4q7h/cant_go_to_treatment_ill_just_keep_bingeing_until/
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The IOP program I was looking into (and spent 2 hours on the phone with someone) doesn't fit my work schedule so I can't go. You would think they would have gone over that part with me before taking a 2.5 hour history instead of just glossing over it saying "ya you can do this program while working full time." Well I don't know what kinda of dream fucking work schedule ppl in this program have but I work like a regular fucking adult.
I'm so fucking HUGE and I can't stop eating. The only program I have left tells me I can expect a miracle from god to help me which is such bullshit.
I'm committing here that I WILL skip either lunch or dinner everyday for the next week to jumpstart my diet. I just can't even recognize myself anymore with how hugely fat I am now.
[Discussion] Would you rather see yourself as worse than you actually are forever, or see yourself as better than you are forever?
/u/am_i_the_grasshole [5'7 | CW:115 | 17.9 | GW: 108| HW: 136|F]
Created: Wed Jan 17 14:56:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r4nzr/would_you_rather_see_yourself_as_worse_than_you/
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I feel like the answer to this question reveals a lot about a persons mentality. I'm curious what the majority of people on this sub would prefer. I have a guess, but I want to see.
Additional discussion question: do you think one of these options is necessarily healthier or better? Or do you think they're about equal in terms of pros and cons to them.
[Help] Don’t know when to stop fasting
/u/wolfcries
Created: Wed Jan 17 14:49:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r4m59/dont_know_when_to_stop_fasting/
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[removed]
[Discussion] When did you guys start heavily plateauing?
/u/e_liz [5'7 | 152 | 23.81 | -83 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 17 14:40:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r4jl8/when_did_you_guys_start_heavily_plateauing/
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So I've noticed that the more weight I've lost, the more often I've began experiencing plateaus. I know that it's not logical to expect to lose 5 pounds a week anymore, but I also don't feel like my weight is that low to be experiencing back to back plateaus when I am very consistent with my eating habits. I just broke one plateau around Christmas and it took me 3 weeks after that just to lose one pound..?? Idk it just doesn't make sense to me. At what weights or BMI's did you guys begin having to deal with long plateaus? I just barely got into BMI 23's and I just don't feel like my weight loss should be hindered this much at this weight. Did anyone else go through this?
[Discussion] You all that have constant ethnic food at home, how do you deal with it?
/u/Rickticia [5'2| 130.4 lbs |24.71|-19.6|GW2:125|20F]
Created: Wed Jan 17 14:33:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r4hlo/you_all_that_have_constant_ethnic_food_at_home/
---
It was a struggle for me to eat healthily at home for awhile, mostly because my grandmother cooks such unhealthy Latino food.
She’s frying pastelitos as we speak (they’re like dumplings or Mexican empanadas), and she made pancakes earlier. She’ll make enchiladas and pupusas all the time, even when I tell her she shouldn’t make so much greasy and fried foods. When she makes vegetables, her favorite method of cooking them is adding melted cheese, which defeats the purpose of eating vegetables.
I constantly have to decline the food she makes or eat around the food—i.e. pick out the pollo guisado (chicken dish) and leave behind the sauce and vegetables. If I were to decline all the foods, it would be seen as very rude.
How do you all deal with this?
[Rant/Rave] [Rave] I think I have abs... (Rambling)
/u/IttyBittyBatty [5'5" | CW 😱 | -27.6lbs]
Created: Wed Jan 17 13:51:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r46cs/rave_i_think_i_have_abs_rambling/
---
My weight has been steadily declining and I'm pleased with it. I'm also the textbook definition of a pear shape, so everything above my bellybutton is slimming down nicely -- and wouldn't you know it I have some abs showing through!
Funniest thing to me is I know I have good core strength and it's only because I'm obsessive about my posture (to minimize how gross my gut is) and constantly suck my stomace in (to minimize how gross my gut is, lol). I've been doing that since I can remember. Tensed is the default for my core muscles. I have to think about it to relax them. 🤣
This is kinda rambling, sorry. My head is all over the place and I haven't eaten anything but an apple in three days.🙃
You all are the only ones who will understand. 💜 I love you all.
[Rant/Rave] Binged last night.
/u/SinfulCinnamon
Created: Wed Jan 17 13:40:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r43cl/binged_last_night/
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I was saying like a week ago how I was doing so well at restricting and didn't have the urge to binge.. yeah that ended. I even had my food planned and pre-logged for the day. Then hung out with an old friend and smoked.. turned into a high zombie and the rest was history. Ended up logging the food after the fact and turns out ate around 3000 calories. And gained 2 pounds. I was just at my first goal weight yesterday morning and already fucked it up. Now I need to over correct it and fast forever. 😑 I suck
130 doesn't look or feel like I imagined
/u/yaogauiasaurus
Created: Wed Jan 17 13:21:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r3y4o/130_doesnt_look_or_feel_like_i_imagined/
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[removed]
[Other] Obsessing Over Other People's Weight
/u/datmanateelife
Created: Wed Jan 17 11:44:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r36mk/obsessing_over_other_peoples_weight/
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Flare rant please.
I can always tell that my condition is taking a turn for the worse when I start obsessing over other people's weight constantly.
I laughed at my friend's joke and grabbed her arm and it just felt SO THIN to me. This was four days ago and I'm still thinking about it.
My other friend made an offhand comment three days ago about how if she stood behind a lamp post, people wouldn't realize she was there. Because she's so thin. Still thinking about this as well, every day.
I look at others and immediately judge whether they are thinner or fatter than me. Fatter? Feel kind of better I guess, although not really. Thinner than me? I immediately panic about how much of a whale I am.
I don't know what the point of this post is. I guess I'm just venting.
I hate myself.
[Tip] PSA! 15g protein, 60 cals.
/u/IndigoSeasons [5'9" | CW 138 | CGW 118 | BMI 20 | Female]
Created: Wed Jan 17 11:35:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r34g9/psa_15g_protein_60_cals/
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https://i.redd.it/dhggbn7k9oa01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] "You're a big girl, come on." [warning: long self-pitying rant]
/u/Size666 [5'8F | CW: Walrus | -43lbs | UGW: 113]
Created: Wed Jan 17 11:33:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r33qt/youre_a_big_girl_come_on_warning_long_selfpitying/
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**TL;DR: Judge that issued a warrant for my arrest admonishes my irresponsible actions by calling me a "big girl" and though it was meant to mean "adult", the words ended up being the final straw in a series of defeats that caused me to have a mental breakdown about my weight.**
So, fun little story - I found out there was a court date I missed, which meant a warrant was now out for my arrest over a ticket I forgot to pay last week. This all happened yesterday, on the first day of my fast, hours after I find out a family member who was dying (part of the reason I fucked up and got the ticket) just passed away that morning, and while I'm trying to help with my sister's legal issues, deal with some projects at work that are under tight deadlines and also, add insult to injury, the morning after the guy I was sort of talking to casually mentions that he's dating someone. (Side note here: this little detail probably wouldn't have hurt me so much if we weren't JUST making plans to hang out the next time he was here. I think I also saw a pic of the girl he's talking about and she's thin and tall and gorgeous, so fuck me.).
So yeah, kind of just eating shit left and right here in 2018. I tried to postpone the work projects for a few hours without saying that it's because I have to drop everything and head to court to straighten this out, lest I get a criminal record, risk losing my license and with it, my job. Of course, the stress of fucking up royally at work by blowing off the projects, the awareness of mortality facing the family member's slow painful death, the pressure of being relied on by people for legal advice in a field I don't practice, the rejection of someone I was very happily falling for and seeing that my replacement is 100x better than me, the hunger from the first day of the fast... and now this nonsense of potentially losing my license to practice law...also means I'm excruciatingly aware of my heinous body and how none of this would be happening if I just had some control over my life, starting with my binge eating. It always comes back to my body.
So the sitting judge agrees to put me on the calendar for that evening. This judge, by the way, is just sick of *everyone's* shit, and he's not trying to hear any excuses. He's jocular and he's giving everyone the business. It's funny but also, I knew I also had to face it. So I get up there...
Me: *walks to the defendant mic* Good evening, your honor.
Him: Size666, you stand before me for failure to pay $XX for violating xyz ordinance. How do you plead?
Me: Guilty, your honor.
Him: I issued a warrant for your arrest this morning.
Me: Yes you did, your honor.
Him: Ok. Well, I guess you aren't in cuffs, so... What did you do to cause this ordinance violation?
Me: Your honor, in my distraction, I failed to follow the ordinance and I do not contest the charge.
Him, looking me up and down: Size666, you're an adult.
Me: Yes sir, I am.
Him: I mean, you're a big girl, come on--
Me: That I am, your honor.
Him: So you're telling me you got distracted and you got sloppy... unacceptable.
Me: Yes, your honor.
Him: Your guilty plea is accepted. Pay the fine of $XX with the court clerk. I will remove the warrant for your arrest. Get it together.
Me: Yes, your honor. Thank you, your honor. *walks off*
This is dumb. I know he meant 'big girl' as in *'you're too fucking old for this type of shit'* - and he's right - but all I could hear is 'big girl' over and over and over ringing in my ears and thinking about being rejected and about how hungry I was and how tired I am of dealing with all of it.
I got home and turned my phone back on, saw an email from my annoyed boss basically saying "dude, I stayed late to do your job for you, you're welcome" and half a dozen texts from my sister and my mom about death and fear of unknown legal consequences and just. I just collapsed into a puddle of self-loathing on the kitchen floor. I haven't gone to sleep yet, I spent the night crying about how much 2018 is beating me down so far, and just everything, but most of all my weight. I'm so tired. I'm just. So. Tired. I want this to be over. I don't want to keep fighting myself anymore.
Anyway that was longer than I meant. If you sat through it, thanks for reading and for letting me vent. I guess silver lining is that I didn't break the fast. All I have to do is not eat for the rest of my life and I might actually start to look human.
[Discussion] Does anyone google celebrity weight/height?
/u/orangepekoes [BMI 20]
Created: Wed Jan 17 11:32:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r33i4/does_anyone_google_celebrity_weightheight/
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I've always been obsessed with googling celebrities heights and weights, but sometimes it frustrates me how wrong I think they are. For example, Emily Browning is about the same height as me yet websites say shes 112 lbs. She appears much smaller than me in photos so how could she be heavier than me? Maybe I'm wrong, but I think shes tiny.
[Help] Please help with this plateau oh my god
/u/That_1bitch
Created: Wed Jan 17 11:25:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r31oi/please_help_with_this_plateau_oh_my_god/
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I'm going crazy, I've been stuck between 109 and 110 for like two fucking weeks. Been restricting but it will not fucking budge. I've read that eating at maintenance for a day can help with platues and I'll do it if I have to but I really don't want to eat so much. Should I fast? Is my scale broken? I'm going nuts if anyone can help me pleeeeaaase I need to start losing again.
[Discussion] REDDIT HAS CHAT GROUPS NOW!!
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Wed Jan 17 10:44:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r2qe9/reddit_has_chat_groups_now/
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Comment if you want to be in a chat group! Just for support and venting and advice! I’ll add you!
[Discussion] I Anonymous/ missed connections ED edition.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Wed Jan 17 09:42:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r2970/i_anonymous_missed_connections_ed_edition/
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In mobile flair as discussion.
One of the small local papers in my city does a piece for missed connections from people who have seen each other but never talked
Brief Brief cription of setting, yourself and the stranger. This could be fun.
For the sake of not breaking rules I am not encouraging "ED buddies" or giving out personal contact info or harassing people.
Hope this isn't breaking rules.
The place: trendy queer neighboorhood corridor to downtown. Me: teal corduroy hat, denim on denim and white converse, painted denim jacket reading "waste of paint"
You: tall, slender in a black silhouette with skinny ripped black jeans and a leather jacket that elegantly dwarfed your torso, healed boots and pale completion, thighs as big as my arms but longer, smoking a cigarette with a tired glare.
We made eye contact and looked each other over as I walked downtown.
[Rant/Rave] Good news!
/u/Diamondwrists
Created: Wed Jan 17 09:33:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r26vr/good_news/
---
So my doctor and therapist etc etc (I see a whole eating disorder team idk) told me that I can be ANY weight with a bmi at or above 18.5 as long as I don't lose! They agree that the gaining mindset can be just as scary as losing, so they're not forcing anything on me.
I've also started being able to reshift my perspective of eating from something that I felt made me ugly to something that makes me pretty and soft. Because I've seen the result of my ED behaviors, and *those* are ugly. Cracked teeth, bad breath, brittle hair and nails, extreme anxiety. But when I eat, those don't happen, and my skin is soft and my face flushes normal colors rather than... purple and green lol.
I'm still eating small amounts and drinking black coffee. But food is becoming kinder. It's becoming the one anxiety medication that I can rely on to work. It's something I can look forward to, and that I have the choice to say yes or no to. With this perspective, eating has given me more control than restricting because with my ED, I *didn't* have a choice of eating. Now I do. And keeping that in mind, I don't always have to accept food even if it's "time" to eat. Choices. Options. Control.
Recovery is hard shit, but compromise, and progress, and comfort... can happen. Slowly. With setbacks. Be ready for it. But it's possible.
[Discussion] How to deal with lanugo?
/u/gardenG-nome
Created: Wed Jan 17 09:32:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r26id/how_to_deal_with_lanugo/
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(first time posting in this sub)
I've been kinda "underweight"(bmi ranging from 15 to 17.5) for about a year and a half now. And my body developed this dumb amount of excess hair all over in autumn of 2016. I seriously can't be bothered with shaving it anymore. Any advice on how to get rid of it somehow? (I'm super self-conscious about it and every time my boyfriend touches my back or stomach I immediately think he's rubbing my fuzz. It's so frustrating)
[Goal] Officially hit 140 yesterday morning!
/u/counting-the-seconds [5'8" | 144lbs | 21.9 | -28 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 17 09:24:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r2498/officially_hit_140_yesterday_morning/
---
Which was my first official goal weight. That makes about 35 lbs that I've lost since October. Only 15 lbs until my second goal weight!!!
[Rant/Rave] ED in full swing over anonymous messages
/u/orthoreXXX [22F | 5’4” | cw 119lb | gw 110lb | bmi 21]
Created: Wed Jan 17 08:24:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r1obp/ed_in_full_swing_over_anonymous_messages/
---
My fiancé received [this anonymous message](https://imgur.com/a/LUCKQ) yesterday and it’s fucking killing me.
He showed me as soon as he received it and just shook his head saying “why would anyone try to break us up like that?” and then laughed it off saying it was just some psycho girl.
It’s true though. He’s extremely fit, funny, and charming. I’m a blob. A literal blob. So whoever sent it obviously knows him and thinks that’s true as well.
It could be a multitude of people. There are two girls in a group we meet up with occasionally who completely ignore me but are always trying to hug him, trying to get him to ride in their car, and always tell him he had such a nice body. There’s also his ex, who’s sent him and me anonymous messages before. There’s also a girl from his old job who told ME that she thought she and him would have been perfect together.
I’m in full fucking restriction mode to try to even get a fraction as good looking as he is now, so people stop seeing us as beauty and the fucking beast
[Discussion] Add me on mfp!
/u/robotwithadream [5'7" | CW: 129.4 | GW: 110 | 20.20 | F |]
Created: Wed Jan 17 08:01:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r1irh/add_me_on_mfp/
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@/berrystrying
please i just want friends and accountability i've been binging for a week. so thankful for u guys and the sub though
[Discussion] BDD leading me to wanting outside validation re: looks
/u/build-the-house [5'6" | 140 | -40 ]
Created: Wed Jan 17 07:57:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r1hse/bdd_leading_me_to_wanting_outside_validation_re/
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my husband has never changed the words he uses to describe me during any of my weights (range of 107-180 lbs). i'm not sure how i look but i know that my weight is somewhere in the middle (i only get weighed at doctors office bc he threw away my scale).
i really want to like post to gonewild or something but am so scared someone will call me curvy.
anyone relate?
Text me at (646) 543-9829 Mephedrone (4-MMC) Methylone (bk-MDMA) Bulytone (bk-MBDB) MDAI MDPV Ketamine hcl crystal powder MDPV
/u/abdulsalamah120
Created: Wed Jan 17 07:08:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r16dp/text_me_at_646_5439829_mephedrone_4mmc_methylone/
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[removed]
[Discussion] January 17th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 17 05:51:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r0r2m/january_17th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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What is the oldest thing you’re wearing today?
My skin lmaooo except I think the entirety of the skin cells turn over within like a month or something 😐
[Rant/Rave] So my boyfriend of two years proposed
/u/Ednosandptsd [166cm | CW: 48.5 | BMI: 17.6 | GW: 44kg | 22F]
Created: Wed Jan 17 05:29:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r0n1v/so_my_boyfriend_of_two_years_proposed/
---
First post here, and with a throwaway -- my fiance knows my username for my main account.
A month after I relapsed, and now I can't shake the idea that I have to stay under the weight that I was when he proposed to me (or I will label myself as someone that 'let themselves go').
The worst part is that he has recovered from an eating disorder too, so he knows exactly what is going on... And he seems far more attracted to me now than he was 5kg ago -- although he'd never admit it. He insists that he thinks I'm beautiful at any weight ...
Does anyone else here always think their S.O. just says things to make you feel better, or is it just me?
[Rant/Rave] So my partner of two years proposed
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 17 05:19:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r0lf8/so_my_partner_of_two_years_proposed/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r0lf8/so_my_partner_of_two_years_proposed/
[Help] How can I be eating at a deficit but not losing weight?
/u/vitalogy95
Created: Wed Jan 17 05:17:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r0l48/how_can_i_be_eating_at_a_deficit_but_not_losing/
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[removed]
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! January 17, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jan 17 05:12:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r0kbj/daily_food_diary_january_17_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 17, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday January 17, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jan 17 05:11:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r0k16/way_to_go_wednesday_january_17_2018/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for January 17, 2018.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Help] Is anyone getting skinny fat? How do I fix this??
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Wed Jan 17 04:08:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7r0a4l/is_anyone_getting_skinny_fat_how_do_i_fix_this/
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My arms are getting thinner and my ribs are poking out...but my stomach makes me look like I'm 3 months pregnant. My thighs, while revealing a small gap, are still thunderous.
Please. Send. Help.
[Rant/Rave] I wish there was a “net” you could swallow, so chewed up food would go into it and you could pull it back out
/u/mara-awesome
Created: Wed Jan 17 01:45:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qzpeq/i_wish_there_was_a_net_you_could_swallow_so/
---
Silly thought. I’m afraid to purge and chew/spit isn’t as satisfying as swallowing food
[Other] What have I done ☹️
/u/avocadorable [5'3.5" | 100 | 17.85 | -40 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 17 01:18:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qzlmv/what_have_i_done/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] General purging issues
/u/sogyosha
Created: Wed Jan 17 00:45:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qzgq5/general_purging_issues/
---
So I'm 20 years old and up until the past, like, five months (?) haven't purged since I was 15. I totally forgot how much that shit sucks, wow.
My teeth suck, my throat is constantly sore and scratchy, my speaking voice is raspy and my singing voice is totally shot. And my nails suck because of the stomach acid. Aaaand my sinuses are bad. And a million other things.
I was gonna make this a discussion and ask for advice but the only actual thing I should do is to stop throwing up, haha. So now I just want to whine in front of an audience.
Commiserate with me!
[Help] Just trying to not binge
/u/DangerTaterz [5'4 | CW 207.6 | GW ~130 | 35.6 | Not Enough | F]
Created: Wed Jan 17 00:33:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qzf17/just_trying_to_not_binge/
---
I think today is the second day with only one meal, the two days before I think I just had the one meal each plus cookie dough. I can't remember past that. Seeing as I usually fall solidly on the BED side of things, this is much less than I usually have in a day. Shit, add a few of the past few days and that's a normal day for me.
This is all to say that I am really feeling that today. I don't deal with the feeling of low blood sugar well, and usually just end up bingeing to make the feeling go away.
Does anyone have a go to thing to take the edge off with out eating the whole kitchen? I'm almost afraid to eat because I don't know if I'd be able to stop once I start.
I hate being like this. I wish I wasn't broken and I could just be happy, healthy, and skinny.
[Help] Being forced into recovery, because bmi too low. Wtf?
/u/I_donut_carrot_all [5'6| 85 | 13.71 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 17 00:25:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qzdyh/being_forced_into_recovery_because_bmi_too_low_wtf/
---
Okay I need honesty. I wish I had friends I could ask but the friends I do have first off would probably slowly back away from me as I discussed this topic... Then instead of being honest they'd just smile nod and give a generic pro recovery /support answer.
I need friends with eating disorder perspectives. So fucked, but it's my reality. I trust no one unless they are disordered, because we tend not to sugar coat things (lol no pun intended)
So this weekend I was basically forced into pseudo recovery. Passed out at work, ended up in the hospital for a few days. My gp ended up coming to see me during their shift because there was something in my chart that concerned him about my Ed. Whatever.
Long story they put me on all types of things and something called nptnp, idk. But when hooking it up the nurse said hopefully this puts some meat on your bones ugh!
If I lose anymore weight I get another NG .
This is where I need friends. What weight do you think I look like here (underwear pics) https://i.imgur.com/0Zu8FRI.jpg vs https://i.imgur.com/UoWjwHg.jpg
I haven't had a scale in awhile and I'm freaking out. This is after a few days of being in the hospital and I'm so embarrassed. How much do you think I gained?
I don't want fucking asspats lol.
I just don't feel anywhere skinny enough for recovery and know if I'm forced into it, it will equal disaster.
I just need friends who understand what I'm saying I guess. Sorry for the word vomit.
[Rant/Rave] Feeling really really awful because I binged...
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Tue Jan 16 23:50:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qz8bk/feeling_really_really_awful_because_i_binged/
---
On mobile flair as rant rave thanks mods.
So I don't think it was a binge, then again I feel like with EDs the term binge can be subjective but it was more than I've eaten in the last few days and I feel like I should have said no to myself.
I also had like 4 pickles which is a lot of sodium so I am probably going to retain water like crazy. I bought pickles cause they feel sort of safe but I forgot how much sodium is in them.
I will not continue this binge. I will stop right here and just accept it and remeber tomorrow is a new day. I walked 30k steps but my phone says I haven't burned very many calories not that I count them towards what I can eat because they don't feel "real" to me..
I used to have an app I used to track my steps and my base metabolic rate but I can't find it or remember the name it showed a person walking throughout the day.
I am going to try and sleep and not purge even though I really really want to..
Thank you wonderful internet friends and acquaintances. I'm sorry for being so active the last few days.
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] I’m so just. Depressed.
/u/OakenArchive
Created: Tue Jan 16 23:33:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qz5i1/im_so_just_depressed/
---
So things had been going good. For a few years. But some stuff this fall seemed to trigger everything back. Some really personal stuff happened and I felt alone. Not due to ED but I was put in the hospital a few times. And I was shocked that none of my super close friends checked on me. My life long best friend did. But that was all.
A diagnosis I got a couple years ago this February has really taken a toll on my life during 2017.
I was planning to go back to school but that got shot to hell due to student loans.
I lost (she didn’t die just not as close anymore and the reason we’re not close is what triggered me) someone I thought was one of my best friends. I just stumbled upon a blog she had. And in the time we were supposed to be best friends. I was referred to as “female friend”. Nothing else. Or as someone. I recognized the stories and knew it was about me.
I’ve recently gained a bit of weight and it’s made my other diagnosis (physically) rage all to hell.
I just feel like nothing is in my control anymore. I can’t do anything. Anything I set my mind to, I fail at.
I think that fuels the ED part of me. I WONT fail. I WILL lose weight. And everyone who doubted me can kiss my fucking ass.
[Rant/Rave] Do you need someone to talk to?
/u/reptarcum [24F | 5'4" | cw-137 | gw-130 | ugw-120]
Created: Tue Jan 16 23:15:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qz2en/do_you_need_someone_to_talk_to/
---
A guy several years younger than me who went to school with my cousin committed suicide today. I am desperate to express how available I am to anyone who needs someone to talk to. I am overwhelmingly willing to share my phone number with anyone who needs it for.. absolutely anything. Venting, questions, anything.
I have had an ED for 12 years, suicidal for many of those.
Never had anyone to talk to.
Please pm me if you find yourself alone. Call, text, anything. Anything is better than killing yourself.
[Rant/Rave] It’s 6am and I just purged at work :)
/u/paraphrasis [174cm | BMI 22 | -6kg| 25F]
Created: Tue Jan 16 22:59:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qyzi7/its_6am_and_i_just_purged_at_work/
---
Morning rant time!
It’s 6am, and I just threw up at work. I’m always here early so not a lot of people are here yet. I had the exact same amount of calories as my normal breakfast, it was just yoghurt instead of oatmeal. It even had better macros for gods sake. But I couldn’t handle it. I can’t remember the last time I threw up in public, this is so stupid, “Look at me I’m so high functioning, my eating disorder doesnt affect me blah blah”.
What a great day so far, where I only have to be at work for 6 hours and then school for like 9 hours after 3 hours of sleep. Yay for being nauseaus all day now as well.
Hope you’ll all have a better start to the day than me :) :)
I feel so sick and nauseated when I eat a whole meal.
/u/UncertainlyOrdinary
Created: Tue Jan 16 22:38:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qyvro/i_feel_so_sick_and_nauseated_when_i_eat_a_whole/
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[removed]
[Other] Didn’t expect this during recovery...
/u/dbt-girl [5'2" | 114]
Created: Tue Jan 16 21:54:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qyn9q/didnt_expect_this_during_recovery/
---
Today I ate normally?
The problem is I feel satiated, yet not too full. Neither binge-heavy, nor starving, nor panicked or purgey?
I feel normal? And that’s scary. I don’t know how to handle normal.
So I drank. I drank because I felt normal. And normal is too foreign to handle.
Wtf.
[Help] I'm trying to better understand eating disorders (specially bulimia) can you guys share your thoughts and experiences? what is is really like?
/u/sepy007
Created: Tue Jan 16 21:10:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qye8y/im_trying_to_better_understand_eating_disorders/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Haven't posted in decades lo
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 98 | 16.5| GW 94 | F 23]
Created: Tue Jan 16 21:03:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qycvz/havent_posted_in_decades_lo/
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1. I am drunk as hell and havent been on here in forever:
So I've been avoiding this sub on pure superstition that every time i get active i somehow end up binging? I dont know. Ive love the support, even years ago. I'll try to continue but damn. I think c&s might be my new purging. I mean shit id rather not shove my fingers down my throat and have a sore throat but dang aren't I reduced to this. Don't know. Maybe it's better? I'm glad I got to taste my delicious bread I made but I feel so wigged out when I spit! Not obvious, but I feel like people know even when I hide it. But it's harder to hide puking so it's like a toss up? I am scared c&s will trigger weight gain and I can't. I just now let myself have free Sundays so. I don't know. Thanks for reading my vent lovelies. Stay beautiful as all of you are 😙😙
[Rant/Rave] I give up.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jan 16 21:01:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qyc9j/i_give_up/
---
[deleted]
[Other] Snarf
/u/ABlueSongbird
Created: Tue Jan 16 20:44:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qy8xd/snarf/
---
It is my sacred duty to introduce you to the word “snarf”.
The sound you make when you greedily eat lotsa food.
The synonym for binge that makes you smile at how ridiculous it sounds.
SNARF.
[Help] IOP for BED, overeating, a touch of bulimia, a touch of purging disorder, and a touch of restriction
/u/SpaceWhale88 [Height 5'3 | CW 180 | HW 197 | LW 122 | 29F]
Created: Tue Jan 16 20:16:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qy2zj/iop_for_bed_overeating_a_touch_of_bulimia_a_touch/
---
I called a treatment center. I cant say that my reasons are purely recovery oriented because I also want to desperately lose weight (I'm obese). I'm going to be 30 soon and I've felt fat (even when I wasnt) since 1st grade. I've have my first major depressive episode when I was 12. I'm doing much better with my depression but I know it's only a matter of time. Someday I want to be married (which I have to lose weight to date) and have kids. I know I cant get pregnant on effexor, abilify, and adderall. I would someday like to be med free. I probably could stand to quit drinking too, even though I dont consider myself an alcoholic.
I dont know though if this is right for me. I dont know if I'm bad enough to go through that much treatment and if my reasons are just attention seeking. (I wasnt planning on telling my parents though who I have a good relationship with--they dont know I purge). I dont want to go just to discover everyone is waaay worse off than me and then I'll realize I should have just gone back to weight watchers instead.
I've been doing OA since September and experienced no relief. I think I need more but I also think that I'm only thinking I need more and that I really have an extensive ED because I've been going to OA and now I'm consumed with the idea I have an eating disorder when in fact I've only gotten worse since I started to "prove" I belong there.
[Help] Is it actually possible to recover from an eating disorder?
/u/sepy007
Created: Tue Jan 16 20:04:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qy0br/is_it_actually_possible_to_recover_from_an_eating/
---
I recently found out that my friends has an ED, I was talking to her about it and she said most people with EDs never recover and they just deal with it for the rest of their lives.
After looking at this subreddit I'm getting very concerned that she might have been right since most posts are about dealing with the condition rather than getting rid of it. Is this going to be something that shadows over her for the rest of her life?
It really breaks my heart when I think about all the shit she has to go through daily, if some of you guys who are on the right track could share your stories it could be a great source of motivation.
[Other] I thought you all could relate
/u/randyguptill [5'7.5" | CW 128.4 | maintaining | 19.31 | complicated |]
Created: Tue Jan 16 19:27:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qxry1/i_thought_you_all_could_relate/
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http://reductress.com/post/how-losing-those-extra-five-pounds-helped-me-believe-in-god-again/
[Rant/Rave] free vent session
/u/intensitei [5’8 | fat | 23F]
Created: Tue Jan 16 19:22:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qxr0d/free_vent_session/
---
so there’s something bothering me that i wish i could say to a friend but can’t and i cannot get it off my mind
and if you have something you wish you could say to someone or just say in general then just let it all out in the comments
here goes mine
i wish i had never even mentioned that i have an ED to you. you’re a great friend but sometimes you act like a know-it-all and like you always know better than i do. you have no idea what kind of ED i have or what struggles i’ve had and yet you randomly decide to say weird “motivational” things out of nowhere. like after months of me not saying ANYTHING remotely about my ED you decide to say “yeah and maybe [thing we’re discussing] could be good for recovery too.” what???? how do you know if i’m not already deep into my recovery? more importantly, how do you know that won’t set me off/trigger me? what if i’m not ready for recovery and that pushes me further into ED behavior? and unlike how it is with my other friend (they never treat me differently and that’s probably because we’re both incredibly fucked up in our own ways lmao), i feel like no matter what i do, you’re always going to be eyeballing me. even though you have no idea what you’re looking for. people do that all the time. even the slightest mention of an ED, and suddenly they’re a character on a fucking lifetime movie trying to see if you pick at your food or dramatically rush to the bathroom after eating. bitch this is not a game i will eat this whole meal while we are hanging out but trust that i have already pre-calculated the calories, had nothing to eat before, and am planning on exercising when we part ways. stop acting like you know everything. i wish i could just be normal around you but you treat me like a child who has a bunch of mental health problems and has no idea how to deal with them. you treat me like i’m helpless. i make one little tweet about how the talk about sexual assault is getting to me and you immediately text me saying “hey get off twitter.” like ok lol thanks for the caring demand but damn. you really act like i’m some helpless sad mess that can’t do anything for themself.
and as far as all of my mental health struggles, i’ve been in this longer than you have held the job you have. don’t think you know something i don’t. u bitches can’t even spell struggle
[lol]
[Help] I miss having hair, feeling really 😢
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Tue Jan 16 19:21:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qxquk/i_miss_having_hair_feeling_really/
---
My hair has been falling out and snapping off in chunks. My hair was something that made me, me. It was my identity. I always had rich red and purple manic panic in it or pastels with honestly healthy bleached hair. It felt wonderful. Now I’m just lifeless. I bought an expensive set of clip in extensions and a bunch of headscarves,beEnies, and headbands. I can barely hide parts of the extensions.
I also have been having bloody BM, too much info I know....but only like every other week as well and only after a binge that fills my stomach.
I’m a mess and still fat and just hate myself.
Why can’t my period stop ( I never want to have kids anyway) and my hair stay 😢😔
[Other] Who were you before your ED?
/u/ntagasf15685
Created: Tue Jan 16 19:12:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qxoss/who_were_you_before_your_ed/
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I once was a really fun and outgoing girl. People loved being my friend and I was ( I say this humbly) kind of the life of the party. Before H.S I lost 25lbs by eating only 125 calories a day and exercising twice a day-i was extremely dedicated and motivated too. I was still happy and outgoing but after H.S instagram became big and I realized just how fat I am. I'm told I'm extremely pretty often but it doesn't mean anything to me because I think I'd rather be skinny at this rate. Being pretty won't make me confident, being skinny will. I'm now severely self-conscious, quiet, hyper aware of every other thin person young, old, man, and woman and I've become awkward because I want to hide my body. I haven't progressed in years because I hate how I look. I shrunk into myself and can barely function as a person. I lost half of me and by that I mean my personality with my obsession to be thin. My insecurity kills me everyday and it's holding me back. Until my outer appearance is satisfactory I won't be able to move forward.
Anyway-who were you?
[Other] Other people make me feel awful and arbitrary numbers dictate my mood. My mind is fucked up..
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Tue Jan 16 18:58:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qxlia/other_people_make_me_feel_awful_and_arbitrary/
---
On mobile flair as rant/rave.
I have low restricting the last 5 days now. And averaged about 400 usually just below that and closer to 300. I usually split it up into two "meals" of 100 calories and one random snack that's under 100 calories. I think my body is starting to take it out on me.
I haven't had a bm since last Wdnesay or Thursday and I have eating really low but I just feel like I am in a daze. I feel like my body is kind of on auto pilot while I vaguely tell it what to do. I feel kind of sore right now but only because at work we had a deep clean day where the kitchen was closed for orders while we reorganized and cleaned all surfaces.
I don't factor in work calories burned because I don't trust any way to track them. I use my phone to track my steps but I turn it off or keep it charging while at work. Out side of work today I have walked 20k steps.
I still can't bring myself to go above 300 and my lunch of a salad came out to be higher than I wanted so I don't feel like I deserve anything else. Grocery stores have been provoking at lot of anxiety lately as well.
I see people going about their business buying things they enjoy while I methodically study the nutrition labels of everything I consider buying. I see other people around and their bodies both astound and confuse me.
Old folks with pot bellies and legs smaller than mine, taller people who are skinnier than me, people who just seem to carry themselves better and a lot of girls who are on the very small side. I know statistics would say most of the U.S. is obese or overweight but from being outside especially in the trendiest neighborhood a lot, and downtown I feel like my city must be an anomaly. Everyone seems either skinny or fit or both.
And here I am stressing about how I feel about my self and trying to earn dinner or a snack when I get home when I would honestly rather die. I just am not having a good day so I am trying to think of ways to relax that don't involve food, I am going to get some tea and walk around the mall and people watch them may be walk home and then maybe a small snack before I go to sleep..
I hope everyone else's day was alright.
Willow.
[Goal] Taking advantage of my depression
/u/DangerTaterz [5'4 | CW 207.6 | GW ~130 | 35.6 | Not Enough | F]
Created: Tue Jan 16 18:41:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qxhyf/taking_advantage_of_my_depression/
---
I'm currently at a point in my depression that I have almost no appetite or real desire to eat. Seeing as this is rather rare for me, I'm going to take full advantage of it by only eating once a day. I'd try for even less food, but I don't think that I'd be able to skip eating dinner without my boyfriend getting suspicious/worried. Hopefully this will get me under 200 again. Just need to make some green tea so I have something without cals to drink.
[Rant/Rave] Tfw you have casual sex in order to feel desired and beautiful
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jan 16 18:31:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qxfno/tfw_you_have_casual_sex_in_order_to_feel_desired/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Triggered by my mother
/u/booberryapocalypse
Created: Tue Jan 16 18:30:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qxf7p/triggered_by_my_mother/
---
And she wasn’t even in the room. My dad called to say that my mom and my little sister were fighting again. Sister is 20 years old, a damn adult, and my mom can’t handle that she has a boyfriend and is growing up to a severely harmful degree. She’ll call my sis names like “slut” and “whore” and basically outright ignore her whole existence. My sis has had two boyfriends in her entire life- also her only two sexual partners. She’s a top student at an amazing university, beautiful and well-liked. My mom goes into this livid state that is so disgusting and harmful, then crawls to me with all this twisted poisonous affection. It makes me cry.
So yeah, it also triggered me back waaaay into my ED. Dad phoned right after I did a stupid big binge of cereal and protein bars (seriously I wanna vomit just thinking about them) and now all I want to do is starve starve starve. I can’t do that. My days are packed with activities that require me to be on the ball mentally and physically. I’m thinking 900 calories a day. I really do need to lose weight, a good twenty pounds. Right now I’m 5’6 and 145, so pretty thick and just eww. Little sis is 100 at 5’3. I’m so incredibly jealous. I want to be thin, I want my mom to get help or leave me and my sis the fuck alone, and I’m scared. I’m so scared. I haven’t thought about this stuff in a while, but suddenly all I see are puffy cheeks and an ugly pug nose. So, yeah, thanks mom.
[Discussion] Vora fasting friends :)
/u/coffeepaysthebills
Created: Tue Jan 16 18:18:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qxcgz/vora_fasting_friends/
---
I just started using Vora to track my fasts. There have been username threads but none recently so drop your usernames here! Mine is the same as my reddit- coffeepaysthebills
[Intro] Fuck recovery! Time to get skinny
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 101lbs | 15.19 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 16 18:02:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qx8w4/fuck_recovery_time_to_get_skinny/
---
Hello,
I used to be really active on here before going into recovery about 2 years ago. It's been a slow descent downwards since then. I was never actively restricting but I kept losing weight. My depression never improved even after trying many different treatments. I was diagnosed with treatment resistant depression and told that I will likely always be depressed and that I just have to get used to it. I am not OK with that. I don't want to live a life where I feel like this everyday forever. So I decided recovery is not for me, plus I got kicked out of the program unless I go back into treatment and I'm not doing that.
I've been struggling with anorexia since I was about 12, so 10 years now. I also used to binge and purge a lot. I can't do that anymore because my new meds are dangerous when purging.
I'm not counting calories yet, but that will come soon. I'm restricting most of my meals, except supper is harder because I eat with my mom. I'm debating telling her about my relapse, if I do she'll get really depressed and stressed out but I'd be able to eat what I want. So I don't know what to do, I figure my therapists will rat me out soon anyways.
So I'm going to try to get as small as possible and as quickly as possible. I'm aiming for below a bmi of 13.
It hurt to update my flair from my pre-recovery weight, but I'm not too far.
I'm excited to be back!
[Rant/Rave] Going to a dietitian tomorrow..
/u/ThisIsGumpy [Height 5'2| CW 108| GW 100]
Created: Tue Jan 16 17:48:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qx5mi/going_to_a_dietitian_tomorrow/
---
I don’t feel sick enough to actually be going to get ‘help’
I’m vegan and able to eat 3 solid meals a day with snacks and stay ~800 a day and I run at the least 3 days a week.
I lost 16 lbs this semester and am currently 103-104
The reason I’m going is that I want to get back into lifting and get my ass back, but I still want to lose weight? But I know that I’m on the edge of healthy and underweight
This is just a long rant trying to convince myself to go, but knowing in the back of my head I won’t stick to the meal plan because I just want to be 100 lbs
[Rant/Rave] I fucked up
/u/spaceepixiee
Created: Tue Jan 16 17:10:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qwwj6/i_fucked_up/
---
After eating under 1000 cals for a few days, I gave in today and ate an anorexic’s natural enemy: the swiss roll. I feel like shit. I’m sure I’m overreacting, but I feel heavy, bloated, and all around worthless. I’ve already purged but I couldn’t rid a lot unfortunately.
I feel like I’ve discarded all my progress over one little dessert! And to think I had self control!
[Rant/Rave] Having a mental breakdown over croutons
/u/arandomnamebcimlazy [5’6| CW: 132| BMI:21.3| -94| Female|]
Created: Tue Jan 16 16:50:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qwrpk/having_a_mental_breakdown_over_croutons/
---
I’ve been trying so hard to do better. I’ve been trying so hard to eat healthy. Today was my breaking point. The salad I had in the fridge was supposed to come with croutons, but for some reason, they weren’t there. I thought, “that’s fine. I’ll just add some of the croutons my mom bought.” I just grabbed a few from the bag and tossed them on the salad. After eating, I started calculating everything, so I went back to look at the calories on the bag. 35 calories per 2 tbsp. How the fuck am I supposed to know how many croutons are in two tablespoons? Mind you, these are big croutons. I’m gonna guess-estimate that I grabbed like 7 or 8 croutons? If one crouton is 35 calories, I will be done. I feel like such a pig, but naturally, after disgusting myself, I decided to step on the scale. 136. I was just 132 yesterday. I feel like laying in bed and crying for the rest of the night. My life feels like it’s falling apart. All because of some damn croutons. What a day.
[Other] Posted on r/fatlogic, this shit terrifies me
/u/NaejNire [5'9 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 16 16:09:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qwhgu/posted_on_rfatlogic_this_shit_terrifies_me/
---
https://i.redd.it/8bzhylmkhia01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Probably not normal to just have a giant pill stash
/u/bunkinpumpkin [5'7" | CW: 133lbs | BMI: 21.1 | -12.5 | GW: 125lbs]
Created: Tue Jan 16 15:09:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qw1fk/probably_not_normal_to_just_have_a_giant_pill/
---
It's pretty funny that I just have a giant pill stash of whatever I need to be extra disordered. Puffy and holding water weight? Time for some Spironolactone. Taking up EC stacks again? Break out the propranolol to make it a smooth ride. Tired from restricting but need to drive three hours? Modafinal to the rescue.
All I need is a prescription for Metformin I feel like to just be Queen There's A Pill For That.
[Rant/Rave] Starting my New Years resolutions a bit late but..
/u/turbomoiist
Created: Tue Jan 16 14:56:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qvxus/starting_my_new_years_resolutions_a_bit_late_but/
---
I’m starting them, that’s good!
I’ve been binging for way too long and it’s time to put an end to it. I’ve gained everything back and am feeling fatter than ever so I’m in need of a fresh start (again..)
anyway, a very late but very happy new year.
To all of you; stay strong<3
[Rant/Rave] Back on Adderall
/u/allegedsoup
Created: Tue Jan 16 14:49:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qvvtu/back_on_adderall/
---
Just went back on adderall today after being off for 5 months. The feeling is amazing. Not only do I get all the benefits of adderall such as being able to function like a normal person, but I can finally start restricting again. I started at 300 lbs and lost 150 lbs in like 4 months when I first started adderall. I thought I could manage and maintain without adderall but in the 5 months that I've been off it I gained like 20 lbs. I realized once I went off it how fucked my appetite really is. I also have absolutely no self control. If I wanted it I ate it, if it was put in front of me I ate it. I've felt like shit these past 5 months and today has been the first good day since then. Currently working on a 100 cal protein bar and a can of sugar free red bull, about to go to work and play video games all night so I don't eat anymore. Here's hoping I can finally start restricting and get my weight under control. I'm tired of being fat.
[Rant/Rave] Plateau for over a month is making me lose my damn mind
/u/usernameblahhhhh
Created: Tue Jan 16 14:47:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qvvfq/plateau_for_over_a_month_is_making_me_lose_my/
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Aggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh jfc
A couple days before Christmas I weighed in at 36.2 kg. a few days later it jumped up to 36.5 despite keeping a consistent -200 deficit and now for the entirety of January it's been fluctuating 36.3-36.4 kg and I'm going fucking nuts lmao. Bumped my exercise from 40-45k steps to 45-50k steps/day and cut my intake by 200 calories for the past week and nothing nothing nothing !!
I'm exhausted and shaky and so very tired. Everything feels like a dream. What a difference a few hundred calories makes. I'm so pissed! Lowering my intake to the 1500s would be shit with my weight and activity level, and I honestly am too tired to up my exercise anymore. this is ridiculous!! someone please reassure me that this is just a plateau and my metabolism isn't somehow ruined beyond human possibility lmao. maybe it is. fucking fuck.
Hope you've all had a better year with the scales so far! ah ha ha :(
[Discussion] Any other orthos feel “inadequate”/gluttonous compared to heavy restricters?
/u/orthoreXXX [22F | 5’4” | cw 119lb | gw 110lb | bmi 21]
Created: Tue Jan 16 14:44:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qvuqd/any_other_orthos_feel_inadequategluttonous/
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I eat exactly 1365 calories a day and track my macros obsessively, gym obsessively, and supplement excessively. I consume 3 different vitamins a day, Omega 3s, and B12 as well as a superfoods fiber drink.
Even after I’ve eaten all of my calories for the day I still feel hungry as hell and sooooo inadequate and gross compared to those who can restrict to lower than 1000 a day. Even though I eat more than many on here, I still have days where I binge on processed garbage. I literally ate 8 crescent rolls in a row and then a giant bowl of pasta and still felt hungry my last binge day.
I could never restrict to the amount many do and I feel gross and slow and gluttonous as fuck :(
[Rant/Rave] "1200 calories is too low!"
/u/101_honey [🌼5'1.5" / cw-2fat // wl-5bls// bmi-29 // gw-101]
Created: Tue Jan 16 14:35:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qvs42/1200_calories_is_too_low/
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more therapy posts lol yaaaa
okay so this is actually really bothering me and i feel like its not great advice. the lady i met with yesterday asked me how many calories i would eat if i wanted to lose weight. i said ideally 700, but realistically/if i wanted to be healthy about it 1200. she looked all 'oh no' and said 1200 is way too low. that its the amount prisoners in auschwitz were fed. that i'd still be starving!
man i am a 21 5'1.5 sedentary female, not doing any hard/forced labour
my tdee is like 1425! like!??!! im not underweight, like im chubby. im trying to stop binging/purging/bingedrinking and lose weight
does this seem a bit ridiculous to anyone else???
[Tip] $7.50 for five boxes of fiber one bars at Giant... oh boy
/u/i-want-to-be-little [5’2” | CW: 109.5 | 17F]
Created: Tue Jan 16 14:32:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qvr9w/750_for_five_boxes_of_fiber_one_bars_at_giant_oh/
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https://i.imgur.com/O2XIZDE.jpg
[Discussion] Is anyone maintaining?
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Tue Jan 16 14:11:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qvlhg/is_anyone_maintaining/
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Once I get to my goal weight of 68kg my goal is to maintain my weight, but I read so many posts of people hitting their GW and then they keep going and going and going...
[Rant/Rave] Today I made a "healthy" choice instead of acting on my ED and I feel weirdly conflicted about it.
/u/desde-siempre [5'3" | CW 115 | GW 100 | 26F]
Created: Tue Jan 16 14:05:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qvjp1/today_i_made_a_healthy_choice_instead_of_acting/
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I'm an avid competitive runner and I have a 5k coming up in a few weeks, but I hurt my foot somehow so I'm basically benched until the injury heals. Normally when I get injured I ignore when the doctor says to rest and not run for a period of time, but f*ck that, I got steps to count and miles to rack up and calories to burn. Plus my ED brain will call me a piece of shit for the entire day if I don't exercise so....
This time the injury is very painful so I don't even have it in me to push through it. I rode my bike around almost all day and was about to go to the supermarket to stash up some c/s food (I do c/s binge style like an animal in my room -_-) when my roommate invited me to the gym.
I stood in the middle of the street between home and the store for like 30 literal second like a moron debating what I should do when I figured fuck it, gym it is. I need to save my money anyhow.
We worked out and now I'm home wishing I had some binge food handy, wishing I didn't go to the gym cuz now I'm starving and having a hard time not demolishing everything in the fridge...
idk sorry this is a ramble, but TL;DR I made a healthy person decision and now my mind is all over the place.
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend points out when I’m getting heavier and praises me when I’m skinny. It’s fueling my obsessive binge purge more than ever before.
/u/isolation___station
Created: Tue Jan 16 13:31:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qvagy/my_boyfriend_points_out_when_im_getting_heavier/
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We’ve been together for a few years and for the most part have been very happy together. We’ve always prioritized being thin vs fat and encouraged each other to stay in shape and work towards being healthy. He’s made comments before when my bingeing started getting out of hand but lately it seems like a constant thing. It’s never been this bad before. I’m tall and already technically underweight but I’m getting obsessed again with purging until there is nothing left. I feel like I’m spiraling.
He is really attractive and gets a lot of attention from women which makes me even more motivated to stay desirable for him. The other day he pinched my stomach fat and said, “oh no you’re getting a little thick again.” I wanted to die.
My life has been pretty stressful lately a lot of changes in my living situation and job have happens so my food therapy has been more intense. Food/ weight has always been my means of control. I know many of you can relate. Does anyone else have this dynamic with their partner? Whenever I tell him his comments are making me insecure he just reassures me he wants me to be healthy. I don’t know what to do anymore.
[Help] Everything I eat is making me nauseous right now.
/u/dontgiveared
Created: Tue Jan 16 13:26:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qv95r/everything_i_eat_is_making_me_nauseous_right_now/
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Has this happened to anyone else? It doesn't seem to matter what I eat, I feel nauseous after and it's driving me nuts. I *hate* feeling nauseous.
[Help] Exams start tomorrow
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Tue Jan 16 13:20:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qv7jo/exams_start_tomorrow/
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I have 5 and a half hours of exams tomorrow beginning 8:30am and i have exams on for the next week. They’re intense and important and i want to complete them to the best of my ability...which means eating. I think i’m going to need breakfast tomorrow before my first exam and a meal between them so i’ve made pasta to have between but nervous for breakfast. I haven’t attempted breakfast in a long time and it often leaves me feeling guilty and sick which i don’t want during the exam. I also have energy drinks at the ready but really any suggestions for meals, especially breakfasts to keep me going through this exam period would be really welcomed💖😕
[Other] Cat always wants to be in the bathroom while I'm purging.
/u/social_anx_throwaway
Created: Tue Jan 16 12:50:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7quzc8/cat_always_wants_to_be_in_the_bathroom_while_im/
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Kind of silly post but he always insists on being in the bathroom with me and will cry outside the door if I don't let him in. I know he doesn't understand what's going on but I feel so awkward doing it in front of him. He just watches me and sits in the bathtub, judging I imagine lol.
[Tip] Halo Top is available in the UK - this is not a drill
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jan 16 11:44:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7quh6i/halo_top_is_available_in_the_uk_this_is_not_a/
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https://www.instagram.com/halotopuk/
Extreme hunger
/u/YaBoiTKilla
Created: Tue Jan 16 11:27:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qucm9/extreme_hunger/
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[removed]
[Help] Please tell me I don't need to purge miso soup
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 133.8 | BMI: 26 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26F]
Created: Tue Jan 16 11:25:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7quc54/please_tell_me_i_dont_need_to_purge_miso_soup/
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I had like 1 3/4 cups of miso soup for lunch which is under 200 calories, less than my normal lunches of 250 or 300 even, but for some reason because it made me so full I just wanna purge it. I don't need to purge miso soup. Miso is a safe food for me. Why am I feeling this way? Can I just not be full anymore without wanting to purge? I'm just sitting at my desk feeling like a fat pile of human garbage.
[Discussion] Therapy or phychologist?
/u/Roseemacculate02
Created: Tue Jan 16 11:20:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7quas1/therapy_or_phychologist/
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Have any of you gone to therapy or seen a psychologist for your ED or anxiety? I feel like maybe I want to, but I don't know if I'm ready to recover really. I guess I'm asking what was your experience with it and did you like it or dislike ?
[Discussion] Weird sources of pride
/u/datmanateelife
Created: Tue Jan 16 11:18:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qua4j/weird_sources_of_pride/
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On mobile, please flair as discussion.
Does anybody else have weird sources of affirmation that your diet is working? I ask this because I just got this sick joy from being the only person in my office that feels cold now that they've turned the heat up. Like, "YES THIS MEANS I'M RESTRICTING ENOUGH!"
Because that's obviously a normal thought process lmao
[Discussion] Best apps for progress photos?
/u/coffeepaysthebills
Created: Tue Jan 16 11:14:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qu8w0/best_apps_for_progress_photos/
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I want to start tracking my progress without obsessing over the scale. Does anyone use any apps that help compare before and after photos?
[Help] I really fucked it up this time
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jan 16 10:50:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qu2an/i_really_fucked_it_up_this_time/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Just feeling so down
/u/little-paws
Created: Tue Jan 16 10:50:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qu28l/just_feeling_so_down/
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I've had a really bad few days of binging, truly embarrassing and I'm ashamed of myself.
Yesterday, when I was full and feeling like shit, I decided to go on Facebook and stalk my boyfriend's ex (from years ago). She is SO SKINNY and gorgeous and I am such a fat fuck.
I just feel ashamed of myself for letting myself be like this. Why can't I just be hot ugh.
I want to fast but I have exams at the moment and can't concentrate. Any words of wisdom?
[Rant/Rave] “I’m really worried about you being on these websites”
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 17BMI | -165 | 30F | AU]
Created: Tue Jan 16 10:48:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qu1od/im_really_worried_about_you_being_on_these/
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My husband slapped that one on me and I’m like dude it’s literally just for support, he’s like i can’t have have you/have you been getting tips and looking at pictures of shit- I told him that I DONT NEED TIPS (I got here on my own ha) unless they’re to better my health really, I do look at thinspo but it’s more on my Tumblr and he doesn’t know my secret blog and my other stuff I reblog is few and far between and very mild. He stopped using Tumblr anyway.
So yeah that’s a thing that happened. I think I defended proed pretty well; offering and getting support, sort of thing, commiserating. Not “dieting together” because I don’t feel it’s like that.
Love 💗
[Rant/Rave] I bruised my butt
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 17BMI | -165 | 30F | AU]
Created: Tue Jan 16 10:36:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qtyi3/i_bruised_my_butt/
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[removed]
[Help] Been restricting for over 2 months and lost weight- but now the weight is slowly coming back on?!
/u/hollowedheart_ [5'7" | CW 126 | GW 125 | UGW 120 |]
Created: Tue Jan 16 09:53:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qtmph/been_restricting_for_over_2_months_and_lost/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Please tell me I’m not the only one with irrational food habits
/u/kittenwon713
Created: Tue Jan 16 09:34:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qthgi/please_tell_me_im_not_the_only_one_with/
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These are currently my most irrational food habits:
Breaking up my food into tiny pieces so it feels like I had less calories than like one huge piece of bread
Picking out the “deformed” chips in a bag of chips so it’s harder for me to binge (it’s to the point where my bf will dig out the oddly shaped pieces and give them to me) that or I won’t eat the whole chip and I’ll crush it in the bag
Feeding people the food I’m eating so I’ll have less calories and feel less guilty
Eating only halves of nuts and throwing out the rest of them in the trash
Chewing and insane amount of gum to prevent eating
To be honest when I want to restrict I’m good but when I binge I start feeling this overwhelming amount of guilt and these habits somehow help me feel better about my actions
What about you guys?
[Rant/Rave] Even my dreams are ED
/u/fourfoldcat [5'4 | 113 |19.4| GW:105 | -32 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 16 08:52:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qt6j9/even_my_dreams_are_ed/
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Just wanted to share this experience with you guys because it was beyond bizzare.
Last night I had a dream I was apart of someone else's family. I don't really know who, all I know is their family possessed wayyyy more junk food than my family does. We were all eating pizza and I remember in the dream still being hungry. I went to the cabinet and spotted nutella. I then thought to myself *do calories transfer from dreams to real life?* meaning at the time I was aware I was in a dream but not completely. I then thought that since I was in a dream it would be smart to use it to eat whatever I want. So I ate the entire jarful of nutella. That was just one small part of the dream, the rest wasn't food related. However, that part just stuck with me because of how vivid it was.
Crazy how my eating disorder is what made me aware I was in a dream.
[Other] Saw this plate while I was browsing...
/u/kittenwon713
Created: Tue Jan 16 08:01:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qsugc/saw_this_plate_while_i_was_browsing/
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https://i.redd.it/e5gaw3eh2ga01.jpg
[Help] Question
/u/galacticspacewarrior
Created: Tue Jan 16 07:56:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qst8r/question/
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[removed]
[Help] Protein, deficits, and building a booty
/u/itchybonez [5'5 | 26F | CW:132 | GW:120 | 🍑 jennydidwhat]
Created: Tue Jan 16 06:33:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qsbhq/protein_deficits_and_building_a_booty/
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I've started to go back to the gym to get my booty back. When I did heavy weight training before (and when I was eating >1200 calories...) my protein goal was about 100g per per training day.
Does anyone have an idea of how many grams of protein I should be aiming for? Is it even worth trying to obtain muscle gains on such a high caloric deficit (500-900 cal per day)?
I just want my food and eating to be Kuwai so Senpei will notice me.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Tue Jan 16 06:32:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qsbgf/i_just_want_my_food_and_eating_to_be_kuwai_so/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I just stayed in bed.
/u/bellexy [5'8 | tubbalub | -20 | GW 118]
Created: Tue Jan 16 05:59:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qs52r/i_just_stayed_in_bed/
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So I've been in not the best place. I haven't been around because - and I'm sure you can relate - I don't feel like I belong when I'm disappointed in myself. I know this community isn't like that, I know I'm welcome all the same, but my brain says no so I don't hang around.
Anyway, yesterday my depression was so bad that I finally gave up trying to eat my feelings. Probably my first sub 2000 day in weeks, I had about 400. Which is a good thing/bad thing. When I finally started to drift off, I got this huge hunger pang out of nowhere. I knew I didn't need it but I had candy corn on my dresser just a few feet away. I told myself: this is the easy part, all you have to do is not get out of bed.
Of course, that's usually the hard part. It was hard. I was still miserable and I wanted it so bad. But I stayed in bed and fell asleep.
I might finally be out of this binge cycle. Please keep your fingers crossed for me. I like y'all way too much to stay away for this long. Hope y'all have been well 💕
[Discussion] Anybody wanna fast today?
/u/cammie5
Created: Tue Jan 16 05:55:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qs4bd/anybody_wanna_fast_today/
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[removed]
[Discussion] any other vegan EDer find that veganism helps rationalise eating?
/u/misterrazorz [159 | 44.4 | 17.9 | a]
Created: Tue Jan 16 05:48:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qs387/any_other_vegan_eder_find_that_veganism_helps/
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i hope that makes sense.
i used to really hate eating, since from my perspective there are more cons than pros to eating, but since eating vegan i can tell myself that i'm doing it (eating) for the animals, the planet, and my own health. it makes me more willing to eat, and it makes the food go down more easily.
[Rant/Rave] Book I found at a local book sale over the weekend. An older lady gave me a weird look when I took a picture of the cover but no regrets! I really wanted to buy it since it was so cheap ($3) but doing that = coming out to my mom. Maybe some other time :/
/u/thedarkleopard [5'3'' | CW: 129 | SW: 144 | 22.85 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 16 05:30:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qs00u/book_i_found_at_a_local_book_sale_over_the/
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https://i.redd.it/90tw3c1gbfa01.jpg
[Discussion] January 16th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 16 05:20:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qryc5/january_16th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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Do you owe someone money? Does someone owe you?
Side note (I’m gonna hijack my own post) - I’m finally getting my permanent crowns today! Several years ago I fell (ahem, was dropped) face first onto concrete and chipped my front teeth pretty badly. Up until now it’s just been fillings but they’ve started chipping and the quick fix looked not so great. So today’s the day! 😃😬
Edit - if anyone cares, [here’s my teeth journey](https://imgur.com/a/LGham), it’s a whirlwind of emotion. Plus bonus old body pics at my thinnest
Edit 2- omg sorry everyone I didn’t realize that picture popped up once you opened the post 😭
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday January 16, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jan 16 05:10:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qrwq2/thinspo_tuesday_january_16_2018/
---
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! January 16, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jan 16 05:10:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qrwpa/daily_food_diary_january_16_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 16, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] DAE kind of feel like they're stuck in a perpetual state of suspended childhood?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jan 16 04:10:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qrmws/dae_kind_of_feel_like_theyre_stuck_in_a_perpetual/
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[deleted]
[Help] Will there be a visible difference?
/u/figuredhood
Created: Tue Jan 16 04:05:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qrm2f/will_there_be_a_visible_difference/
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[removed]
[Other] I like watching food videos on Instagram when I'm hungry
/u/ntagasf15685
Created: Tue Jan 16 02:22:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qr6c4/i_like_watching_food_videos_on_instagram_when_im/
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Right now I'm watching cheese lover videos lol. I can pretend I'll get to eat it...someday
Edit: I just realized it's kind of like watching porn but better.
[Rant/Rave] Well, I'm officially underweight again..yay?
/u/ThinnerBirb [5'7 | CW:120lb | GW:100lb | HW:130lb | 18.9 BMI | 19F]
Created: Tue Jan 16 02:04:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qr3p8/well_im_officially_underweight_againyay/
---
I don't even know how I feel lmao but so much for telling myself I was doing fine. I've been weighing myself every day and restricting and today I'm back to being just underweight (flair is hella out of date).
I was telling myself I'd be happy just making it to here again and now I'm aiming even lower because I still take up too much space in the world 💔
Last time I was underweight I was...16 or so I think? 16-17 anyway. Guess at least I maintained okay for about two years.
My fiance's just worried at this point and I'm stuck between not caring how he feels about it, refusing to care about it, and wishing I could change.
At least even if I wanted to I couldn't afford therapy and I've no idea what adult ED resources are available in this country.
Sorry for the rant ;; I needed to get everything off my chest I guess
[Rant/Rave] My ED is making me want to break up with my boyfriend.
/u/losemore [5”9.5 | -40lb | 21F | UGW 100lbs ]
Created: Tue Jan 16 01:24:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qqy1j/my_ed_is_making_me_want_to_break_up_with_my/
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My boyfriend is tiny, like BMI anywhere between 16 and 17 and only a couple of inches taller than me tiny. He hardly ever fucking eats and when he does it’s junk food that he grabs because he’s too lazy to cook. He doesn’t have a bad relationship with food, he just doesn’t *care* about food, it blows my mind. I’m extremely triggered whenever I’m around him and whenever I see his extremely prominent rib cage or hip bones it makes me want to never eat again.
I’ve stopped having sex with him because I feel even more disgusted about my body than usual as I’m constantly comparing it to his, and I’ve started to avoid even being around him.
I’m considering breaking up with him.. how fucked is that?! Breaking up with someone because you’re jealous of how skinny they are. But I can’t be around him, and if I had to choose between him and my ED, well the ED will always win.
Has anyone else ever been in a position like this before?
[Rant/Rave] Can I rant about pms?
/u/im-nobody-too [CW: 119lbs | GW: Maintain don't gain | 26f]
Created: Tue Jan 16 00:06:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qqm31/can_i_rant_about_pms/
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I miss when I was too skinny to get my period.
It's really light this month, but I'm still feeling bloated and gross, and I've been craving sweets. Normally I try to eat on the low end of maintenance (or slightly under, because recovery is hard), but I've probably been eating on the upper end the past few days. And because my body doesn't follow the rules, that means I'll probably gain significantly.
I hate my stupid "healthy" body so freaking much.
[Rant/Rave] I was called a fat bitch today
/u/ponderingachange [Height 5'6 | CW86 | GW80]
Created: Tue Jan 16 00:05:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qqm0s/i_was_called_a_fat_bitch_today/
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I was called a fat bitch by someone easily 100lb heavier than me. I was called a fat bitch by a homeless guy because I wouldn't give him any change.
And I'm pissed off because a fucking homeless piece of shit thinks I don't deserve food, so I obviously don't. I was meant to get a ride home but I'm going to walk tonight because the slice of toast I ate was more than I deserve.
I fucking hate this sometimes. I'm *hungry*. I actually DO want to be normal. I just wish I deserved to eat. And now homeless people are telling me I don't. So I obviously need to accept that.
[Rant/Rave] Successes and struggles and how I filled my pantry and emptied my wallet.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Mon Jan 15 23:09:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qqcts/successes_and_struggles_and_how_i_filled_my/
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On mobile flair as rant or rave or potentially discussion.
So starting off on the high note. I have been purge free for a week and my last binge was five days ago. The last four days however I have successfully restricted low. I tend to do ok for a couple of days. I have been really depressed lately and if anyone read my last post my pseudo relationship is really putting a lot of stress on me. The person I am sort of with eat a way too much and it shows so I feel like I need to be completely in control when I am alone and especially when I am with this person.
So the last few days I have pretty much only eating raw veggies. Lots of carrots and celery, tomatoes sliced and spiced. Hot sauce to dip some veggies in. Pretty basic but definately lacking.
I decided since I had today off I would go to the store and buy some things to get by on. I was really hesitant but feel like because I have been mostly in control the last few days I could handle some things that I deamed safe.
So for those curious or for solidarity in liking the same things here is my list.
Carrots, lettuce, cabbage, tomatoes, onions, spinach, cucumber, zucchini, green tea, Powerade zero, pickles, shirataki noodles, Newman's tomatoe basil pasta sauce, low call lentil soup, Boca brand "beef" crumbles, Boca brand vegan "chicken" nuggets, sour dough English muffins, pita thins, minute rice, smart food low cal sea salt popcorn.
Oh and I got two pints of dairy free Halo Top! I got chocolate and a salted caramel one. I have never tried halo top because I am vegan but I am going in with pretty low expectations. Before I was vegan I tried arctic zero and I didn't quite hit the spot so I am going in with very low expectations.
So yeah that's how I spent my holiday. I hope everyone else is love.
You are all lovely and beautiful.
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] I just want him to realize that I'm sick too.
/u/Grymdolin
Created: Mon Jan 15 23:00:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qqb9g/i_just_want_him_to_realize_that_im_sick_too/
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Hungry/emotional/irrational rant incoming.
I sort of rushed into a relationship with this guy I had a huge crush on in highschool. He has substance abuse disorder, which I told him I'd help him work through and do whatever I could to support him. But he wouldn't let me, he thought I had my life together and that being with him would ruin me. He hasn't talked to me much for the past two months.
But we live in the same town, we'll cross paths sooner or later. And when we do, I want him to *see* that I'm sick too. I want him to see my bones and dark circles and the way my hands shake. I want him to know that I'm not as strong as he thinks I am.
[Tip] Great tool - enter stats and it calculates how many calories to maintain vs. gain/lose 1 or 2lbs per week.
/u/lilmissdisappearing [5'3" | 103.7 | 18.88 | 22F | 🍑@lilmiss]
Created: Mon Jan 15 22:49:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qq9f3/great_tool_enter_stats_and_it_calculates_how_many/
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http://www.calculator.net/calorie-calculator.html
[Discussion] Candy diet?
/u/cammie5
Created: Mon Jan 15 22:32:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qq6j7/candy_diet/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] You're not fat, I love you
/u/DangerTaterz
Created: Mon Jan 15 21:56:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qpzq3/youre_not_fat_i_love_you/
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Boyfriend logic I guess? Whenever I comment on my weight and how gross I am, he tries to say I'm not fat. Like no, I am fat. Its not my opinion, its a legit fact. I'm 5'4 and just over 200 pounds. My BMI is higher than my age. He thinks that just because HE likes me that I should like me.
He also likes to say "I love you and think you're fine and that's all that matters." My reply is always some form of "so it doesn't matter what I think of myself" or "glad to hear my opinion doesn't matter."
I've even mentioned how I've tried purging in the past and how I was sad I couldn't make it work. I don't think I've told him how deep my issues go. I don't know if I even should tell him. What's he going to do? I've tried talking to him about losing weight/getting healthy together. But he'd rather just talk about him being fat than do anything about it.
Its so annoying feeling like he's trying to talk me out of being fat. If I were to suddenly agree with him and think I'm skinny, the mirror would still show the truth.
[Discussion] Eating more but lower calorie
/u/Bleepbloopbroke [65|CW 106.4|GW 95|UGW 84|17.91| -26.6| F]
Created: Mon Jan 15 21:45:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qpxka/eating_more_but_lower_calorie/
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On mobile and don't know how to flag. Please flag help
So I've been increasing the amount of food that I've been eating but I've realized that I'm still eating really low calorie foods. I was trying to maintain a bit so I could think about getting help for my ED, but when I try to make myself lunch and snacks for the next day it still comes in under 350 calories. And I don't usually eat dinner so that would be it for the day. I ended up packing a salad and some light dressing (30), a small banana, (100) an apple (80), and less than half a cup of sugar snap peas (17) and some yogurt (100)
What do I do? I feel so conflicted because this is probably the most healthy I've been eating but I'm also eating way under maintenance but because the food is so low cal I feel full easier too. I don't know if I want to keep restricting and get down to 99 or try to stay where I am :(
[Discussion] Rewards for losing?
/u/setniessesed [5'11.5" | CW: send help GW: 140 | -9lbs | 22/F]
Created: Mon Jan 15 21:35:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qpvoa/rewards_for_losing/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE get really annoyed with Facebook posts about overeating?
/u/skydiver89 [5'4" CW 135 GW 125 UGW 115]
Created: Mon Jan 15 21:17:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qpsce/dae_get_really_annoyed_with_facebook_posts_about/
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I see it all the time. "Lemme fitness into my mouth....HAHAHAHA!" "When you just finished your salad and someone brings in the cake." "If they made taco flavored vodka, I'd be dead in an hour."
Like why be proud that you just binge ate? Especially if you are overweight....wtf...Maybe I'm being too judgmental, but I find this disgusting and it always makes me cringe.
[Other] Even in an international crisis, I'm obsessed with food
/u/spliceme [5'6" | GW: 125 | CW: lol | 25F]
Created: Mon Jan 15 21:16:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qprzi/even_in_an_international_crisis_im_obsessed_with/
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Sorry, misleading title - this was just in my dream last night!
So in the dream (sorry again, I know other people's dreams are *boring*), everyone at work was silently watching the news, following the map of a missile from North Korea that was travelling across the US, terrified of where it was going to land. I'm in SE Asia at the moment, btw. Anyway, when it went to an advert break, we started talking about how this was the end of the world as we know it.
What does dream me do? Goes to the shop in our office building to buy food for *The Last Binge*. The rest of my dream was me getting frustrated that I just couldn't find the right binge-worthy food.
LMFAO! A nuclear missile is going to kill a lot of people, but my biggest problem was that the bags of sweets weren't big enough :'D
[Rant/Rave] nonsense ramblings of my weight loss failures
/u/ScrunchiesandDraino [5’8” |cw:247 |-28lbs |20F]
Created: Mon Jan 15 21:08:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qpqfw/nonsense_ramblings_of_my_weight_loss_failures/
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over the holidays i gained at least 1 lb, possibly 2. i saw the change in the scale and i went into HARDCORE RESTRICT MODE literally i fasted for 40 hours straight and was bored of food after. i had to force myself to eat because i was afraid i would pass out since i’m not used to fasting. i did good for those few days around the fast.
CUE SCHOOL STARTING AND THEN A DUMB CAR ACCIDENT (NBD but it scared me and stressed me and my family out)- and now i’m just eating with reckless abandon. my brain has gotten into the “who fucking cares.... just eat” mode again and it’s scaring me because of how comfortable i am here. i forget that i’m fat, and yet i’m at my unhealthiest! i don’t want to gain the 25 lbs i’ve lost. i want to keep going but my brain is stuck in a depressed careless go big or go home attitude and i just want to be able to eat less than 1200 cal a day, record it all, and lose weight.
why can’t i just do that? why can’t this be easier? why do i have to be messed up and think about fucking cake and pasta all the time. it’s a curse and it’s getting old quick
[Discussion] my ED gives me a purpose in life
/u/jaclynct
Created: Mon Jan 15 20:22:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qpgps/my_ed_gives_me_a_purpose_in_life/
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i know people must feel the same as i do, so i just want to talk to people who might relate. i feel like my life has no purpose. sure, i’m in college but i have no social life and honestly no future career goals. my life is filled with so much boredom and dissatisfaction that my eating disorder (food restriction & excessive exercise, occasional laxative abuse) gives me something to focus on completely. even with the negatives that come along with it, i still feel accomplished and like i am doing something worthwhile with my life when i reach my weight goals
[Discussion] Does anyone weigh less at night than in the morning?
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 190 lb | GW: 120 lb | 22F]
Created: Mon Jan 15 20:01:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qpc4e/does_anyone_weigh_less_at_night_than_in_the/
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I dunno, it seems like since I've started intermittent fasting, I weight less at night (even after I'm done eating for the night). It's so weird, since I always have a massive piss at like 5 am.
Does anyone know why this might be?
[Rant/Rave] regression & relapse when I'm supposed to be recovered
/u/setniessesed [5'11.5" | CW: send help GW: 140 | -9lbs | 22/F]
Created: Mon Jan 15 19:23:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qp418/regression_relapse_when_im_supposed_to_be/
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Word vomit incoming. I'm relapsing and I don't have a support network, so this place is all I can think of to vent to.
You know what's so dumb? I'm supposed to be the head of a mental health organization at my college; and I'm relapsing. For the past fall semester (and what a glorious semester it was) and last summer I've been able to ignore creeping self-hatred about my body. By some miracle, I actually liked myself. I regularly ate enough (too much here and there but never gained much weight because of moderation and self-forgiveness).
Now here I am back in a hell. I'm an anxiety-ridden mess, body checking, self-doubting. I'd thought that I had grown up to be a mature, pretty confident person and had left this behind me, doing my own thing and being proud of it. I'm 22 now. But I feel myself regressing and it really bothers me.
Why do I suddenly feel like an anxious depressed teenager again? I think everyone that smiles around me is laughing at me. Everyone secretly thinks I'm incompetent and a loser, and I believe it too. I used to be able to not even care even if people did criticize me, since I was confident in myself. Now I can feel myself being dragged down again. I used to do assignments in a regular way and get them done since I didn't want to burden myself later. Now I just let the anxiety and fear of failure push it off. I used to be proud of the muscle I put on lifting, even if there was fat too. Now I have to be perfect. I have to obsess over my weight and my meals again. I literally just want to fall into someone's arms and cry. And I have no idea why i'm in this state.
I think I'm going to seek out therapy for the first time in years. There's too much stress going on this semester and if I don't, I feel like I'm going to get pulled down so deep I can't function.
At least I chewed a shitton of sugar-free gum which made me get horrible crams & flushed out my system hah
[Discussion] Anyone else writing a dissertation/thesis? Tips/help?
/u/UnrecoverableFuss [5'4 | GW 115 | CW 158 | HW/LW 198/98 | 28F]
Created: Mon Jan 15 19:12:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qp1tf/anyone_else_writing_a_dissertationthesis_tipshelp/
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Ugh.
My restriction has always been fueled by academics in the best possible way, which, sick as it is to say, is probably a big part of the reason I am now on year 7 of my PhD. Focussing on an exam, a paper, whatever gave me a reachable goal that I could concentrate on to distract myself from food. My dissertation has resulted in the absolute opposite...1.5 years now of binge/restrict cycles...binging as I panic about the sprawling, ambiguous, monstrously huge project in front of me, restricting as I break it down into pieces and create an achievable smaller goal. And then the cycle repeats, because nothing is ever finished.
I need to show something to my committee by late March if I want to get this thing done this semester. After a fucking YEAR AND A HALF, I'm at 40 single-spaced pages (need ~120-200 in my field). And to make matters worse, I'm on the job market now and that's sucking up a huge amount of time (only to likely amount to nothing in the end fml). And I'm teaching a class that's a huge time-drain (a lot of writing to grade - clearly I'm so well-qualified!).
I'm drowning and I'm so scared of entering another binge cycle and showing up to interviews obese. Tips/stories/motivation appreciated.
My boyfriends reaction when I told him about my ED
/u/Tahylika
Created: Mon Jan 15 19:12:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qp1n8/my_boyfriends_reaction_when_i_told_him_about_my_ed/
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Some weeks ago I was about to take a shower with my bf. Before jumping in to the shower he weighed himself and asked if I also wanted to. I said no without any explainations.
The reasons were that firstly, I am deeply ashamed of my weight, and secondly it would bring no good, as I during that period felt OK. It’s just a very sensitive topic that I don’t talk to anyone about. I don’t really open up to anyone.
We got into the shower and he seemed slightly irritated that I didn’t wheigh myself, as if it was a sign of me not trusting him (okay...). He got sad/pissed for reals, so I opened up and told him I had several EDs (and have had for ages) and that was the reason why I didn’t want to. I said to him that I often fast, binge, puke and restrict etc.
The first thing he said was ”But you’re not underweight” and ”why don’t you just work out” and ”i also fast sometimes, it’s nothing weird”. I can’t remember exactly, but it wasn’t what I wanted to hear in that situation.
I just went out of the shower, laid down in the bed and started crying. I understand EDs aren’t always easy to understand, but that just hit me so hard. It almost felt as he was making my issues seem smaller. Maybe they are small.
[Rant/Rave] My best friend is in DKA as a result of her diabulimia. And me and two other friends are going to visit her in the hospital and ALL of us are relapsing bad and I am so terrified that this fucking disease will kill me and all my closest friends.
/u/sorenkierkegels
Created: Mon Jan 15 18:56:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qoy8c/my_best_friend_is_in_dka_as_a_result_of_her/
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I don’t know what to do. Doesn’t help that the only way I know to cope with this is to restrict or b/p.
[Other] Closer to home, still far away
/u/throwaway002300 [25F | 5’3 | CW 102 | BMI 18 | GW ???]
Created: Mon Jan 15 18:56:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qoy4r/closer_to_home_still_far_away/
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My husband and I moved to the western part of the state for work; we are very close to our families and I grew up in the same town my entire life (and my family has been there for generations). It was difficult being “far away” as I was so used to being nearby, and I struggled feeling left out and distant from my loved ones. We moved home last June which is really great but has caused a lot of stress for me due to work. My ED has escalated to a point of almost insanity and it’s fully taken over my life (even though I’m technically still functioning). I’ve isolated myself to the point where I still have little contact with my parents and close friends, and it’s breaking my heart. My ED is creating a vast distance that is purely emotional. I’m literally 5 minutes down the road from my loved ones and yet I might as well be across the state again, and I’m so upset realizing this fact.
[Discussion] food budget
/u/biggoldie
Created: Mon Jan 15 18:53:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qoxhp/food_budget/
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I just thought I'd share this month's experiment to gain control over food in a way I hadn't tried before. I'm giving myself $100 to spend on food in January. I used to go to the grocery store and fill up my basket on all my safe foods, not paying attention to how much of them I was eating, but this budget has made me rethink all my food purchases. I'm scrutinizing my choices, making sure I buy enough protein to keep me full and have successfully avoided binge foods. Unfortunately I went to lunch with friends today and it cost $26, a 1/4th of my budget! Good thing I have a pantry full of soup to lean on.
[Rant/Rave] My mom called me out.
/u/Wisdomtoothinquiry
Created: Mon Jan 15 18:30:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qosno/my_mom_called_me_out/
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My mom and I went out this weekend. I noticed her staring at my legs and she said "You look so tiny. You're not still losing weight, are you?". I was so flustered, I just mumbled something and changed the subject. Then she brought it up again and said "But really, have you lost more?". I told her I didn't know cause I don't really weigh myself but I haven't actively been trying to (immediately felt guilty for the lie). She knew I lost weight for my wedding and was very supportive. That was only five pounds ago so I don't understand the sudden concern. I hate that now I'm on her radar in that sense. It's so much easier to hide before there's suspicion and I thought I had ten pounds or so before that would be a concern. People who see me on a daily basis don't seem to notice but I see her about once a week and she definitely has.
I'm sorry for always using you guys as a means to bitch. I love this community and feel like it's the only place I can be completely honest. If anyone has similar experiences, I would love to hear. Love you all and hope you are doing OK. <3
[Rant/Rave] i might never recover??
/u/bombay- [5'9 | CW 160 | GW1 130 | 23.6 | 16F]
Created: Mon Jan 15 18:30:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qosmf/i_might_never_recover/
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i just had the realization that i might never get better. i keep saying that i'm going to recover, but i know i'm only going to get worse. i'm only 16 and i know that my ed will get stronger as i grow up. i know there will be even bigger binges, more purging, and longer fasts in the future. i don't know what direction my ed will go as i grow up, but i honestly don't see my life without it. i feel like it's growing up with me in a way. i'm going to be just like my mom, 40 and still struggling with an eating disorder (if even live that long.) it's oddly comforting tbh but sometimes i just want to be normal
[Other] The joys of bulimia (I laughed myself out of a purge)
/u/SpaceWhale88 [Height 5'3 | CW 180 | HW 197 | LW 122 | 29F]
Created: Mon Jan 15 18:26:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qoro9/the_joys_of_bulimia_i_laughed_myself_out_of_a/
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I know what a tide pod tastes like now. One exploded in my hand and I went to purge and was like WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT TASTE and I forgot that one had exploded in my hand 10 mins ago. With all the pod challenge bullshit going on I am now one of those idiots lol
[Other] me_irl
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 198lbs | M]
Created: Mon Jan 15 18:07:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qonap/me_irl/
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https://i.redd.it/ke1mgq2mxba01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I only live so that I can quantify / track my life
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 198lbs | M]
Created: Mon Jan 15 17:57:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qol5j/i_only_live_so_that_i_can_quantify_track_my_life/
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• fitbit for my activity, heart rate
• daylio for my mood
• myfitnesspal for food and weight
I live to make another entry in these logbooks: he made it another day. his best days are usually fridays. he’s lost 15lbs.
beyond that, I just feel exhausted & full of cotton wool
[Rant/Rave] Do the smallest, stupidest things ever trigger you?
/u/notathrowaway836
Created: Mon Jan 15 17:49:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qojal/do_the_smallest_stupidest_things_ever_trigger_you/
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Today I got completely rejected by a girl I thought was my only friend in my uni program to do a group project together. I haven’t eaten all day to punish myself for being unwanted. Logic.
How about you guys?
Edit- forgot to flair, on mobile. Could a mod mark this as a rant/rave?
[Other] I want to cut my tongue
/u/wolfcries
Created: Mon Jan 15 17:35:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qog13/i_want_to_cut_my_tongue/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] All I think about anymore is my ED
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 15 17:25:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qodqb/all_i_think_about_anymore_is_my_ed/
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[deleted]
[Help] restricting & gym help
/u/build-the-house [5'6" | 140 | -40 ]
Created: Mon Jan 15 16:52:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qo5ln/restricting_gym_help/
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[removed]
[Other] Dreaming
/u/lovelysilliness
Created: Mon Jan 15 16:33:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qo0ni/dreaming/
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I just wanted to share a thought with people who would understand me. I LOVE when I eat junk food or fear food in my dreams. It used to make me anxious and feel guilty in the dream because I thought it was real. But now I feel like I get my cravings out in my sleep. All the flavor and none of the calories. It’s awesome! Last night I dreamed about bagels, ice cream, and pastries lol.
[Tip] Dasani seltzer is a blessing
/u/mermaid_quesadilla
Created: Mon Jan 15 16:32:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qo0de/dasani_seltzer_is_a_blessing/
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So over the past couple months I’ve been on and off with soda because it’s just too sweet for me, but I’m tired of water. I came upon Dasani seltzer waters? Wow. The black cherry one is a savior. I HATE seltzer but it literally tastes like black cherry soda. Diet Coke never worked for me, so I’m super excited to find something I like with 0 cals and flavor. Try it out. I wanna try the white peach but I don’t want to be disappointed. If anyone has, how is it?
[Rant/Rave] At my wits end
/u/greciamarzz
Created: Mon Jan 15 16:16:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qnwhj/at_my_wits_end/
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I’m drowning in my eating disorder, I have a BMI of less than 15 (5’3 and 83lbs) and feel skeletal and disgusting while simultaneously being terrified of the number increasing. I was planning on just having some mango today but FUCK THAT I’m dizzy and tired and sad. I’m gonna go get the largest order of French Toast I can order in town with butter and extra syrup. I’ll regret this tomorrow but it’ll feel good to not cave in to the bully inside my head today.
[Help] i've been doing horribly lately and am feeling worse than i ever have
/u/vulturepants
Created: Mon Jan 15 16:07:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qntyi/ive_been_doing_horribly_lately_and_am_feeling/
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hi everyone. it's been a long time since i've posted (back then it was on a different account.)
for a while everything was great. i was eating 500 or less calories every day, no binging, no giving into temptation. i lost about 35 pounds in 3 months and was the lowest weight i'd been since middle school (i'm 21, was 20 then).
that was about a year ago. i came home from college for the summer and my parents immediately guilted me back into eating gigantic portions and it's only gotten worse from there. since then i've gained back like 12 pounds and am feeling worse than i have in a long time, even when i was at my heaviest. i look so fucking disgusting. literally i look like a 50 year olf trucker with a huge beer belly mixed with a woman pregnant with triplets. i'm so disgusting and hideous.
the only thing i want is to be skinny. or hell, i would even take just being thin. i just want this disgusting fat off my body. but it's so fucking hard. no one takes a food addiction seriously and i don't know how to stop. i have no willpower. i'm going to try my hardest to start restricting again and stop binging. i can't make myself throw up anymore either because it's fucking up my throat and teeth.
i don't know why i'm writing this. just venting i guess. but if there's any support or kind words out there i could really use it. i would love to be able to make friends in a similar situation so we can help motivate each other or whatever, and just have someone to talk to about this kind of stuff who understands and won't judge me.
Got interviewed by the local news today...
/u/TimeTravelTortoise
Created: Mon Jan 15 16:05:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qntkh/got_interviewed_by_the_local_news_today/
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[removed]
[Help] Help me either be less sensitive or tell my fiance to shut up
/u/edthrowaway2018 [5'9" | CW: 204 | GW: 140 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 15 15:28:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qnj8h/help_me_either_be_less_sensitive_or_tell_my/
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My fiance will not stop making comments about what I eat. I'm sure these comments ("what is that?" "didn't you already eat?" "what are you making?") would be harmless to a non-ED person, but all I hear when he comments on what I eat is "you're fat and should stop eating." I know he doesn't actually mean it that way, but he never comments on how I haven't eaten in days when I'm fasting so I can't help but think he's subconsciously trying to tell me to eat less...I already feel so much guilt every time I eat, I don't need anyone drawing attention to my food.
I know he's not being purposefully malicious. Even though I'm a whale I know he finds me beautiful and attractive, so I truly think this is just him being oblivious/not listening to how I feel because the comments wouldn't offend him.
Am I being crazy? (of course I am). How do I get it across to him? I've talked to him about it a million times but he still does it and bringing it up now just results in a fight. I feel like my only solution is to just never eat around him again...which might be good for me tbh. Should I just use this to my advantage and think of these comments as a deterrent to binging/eating?
[Discussion] [discussion] DAE else feel like a failure because they can't restrict below 750-800 calories?
/u/mynormalheart [5' 3" | CW: Landwhale -18lb | GW: 137 | UGW: 115| 25F]
Created: Mon Jan 15 15:22:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qnhd5/discussion_dae_else_feel_like_a_failure_because/
---
If I go below that I start binging pretty badly, plus I get weak and become a horrible human being. I know it's dumb but I can't help but feel like I'm failing and am a fake b/c I can't heavily restrict. Ughhh stupid brain. Anyone else feel like this?
[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend Struggles
/u/arkansassafras [5'7" | 135 | 21.14 | CGW: 130 | UGW: 118 | 23F]
Created: Mon Jan 15 15:04:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qncbj/boyfriend_struggles/
---
My boyfriend and I have a situation where we can only really see each other on weekends when he comes to visit me. I love to see him but our relationship is fairly fresh and he doesn't know the extent to my rollercoaster of an ED and my habits. At this point I am pretty much restricting during the week and then accommodating his (normal) hunger and love for food on weekends. I am happy when he is here but as soon as he leaves I feel myself freaking out. It makes me want to restrict and workout even more each week to compensate for the weekends. I don't know how to address it with him without hurting our relationship. He leaves the country in a month anyway and we won't be seeing each other then. Some part of me feels like I can keep this cycle up until he goes and then try to level out.
[Help] New Diet Coke???
/u/cammie5
Created: Mon Jan 15 13:59:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qmsv0/new_diet_coke/
---
Is it in stores yet!?!?
[Rant/Rave] At a weird in between right now
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 102 | F 🍍]
Created: Mon Jan 15 13:48:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qmpst/at_a_weird_in_between_right_now/
---
So since january ive been trying to take better care of myself, by exercising regularly and eating better food. and originally, eating between 1000-1400 (tdee) a day. Thats...still kind of happening.
But now im getting comfortable with going lower again, and ending days at 300-500-700 net (depening). I still do 30-40 minutes of cardio a morning. But i just feel like, im not restricting enough to feel "disordered" right now, but i know im also not eating enough to be "healthy"
Ive been SO INTO meal planning lately and i want to share it, but i feel like ill either seem like im eating too much here, or if i post on /r/1200isplenty, that Im starving myself and people will tell me to eat more.
so iunno.
*insert shrug emoji here*
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend is my goal weight
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 |SW.156 |CW.137 |GW.120 |23.07 |F]
Created: Mon Jan 15 13:42:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qmo0k/my_boyfriend_is_my_goal_weight/
---
We were in my room and he told me he 135 which meant I was officially lower than him! Since I am 133 now. And then he weighed himself to make sure but he has lost like 10 lbs. now he is 123. He is super upset because he hates being skinny but he comforted him because I can’t tell a difference. He always reminds me it is about how you looks and not the number on the scale so I did that for him too. The entire time I was comforting him however I was upset about my weight. He doesn’t even try and loses weight. I wish I was lighter than him. He doesn’t struggle with an ED he is just the type of person who works and doesn’t eat enough (hence why I always cook for him) I can’t wait till we live together so I can cook him home cooked meals.
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend is my bowl weight
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 15 13:41:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qmnr1/my_boyfriend_is_my_bowl_weight/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Feeling guilty about looking like someone with an ED
/u/x-ko [5'5" | 112.5 | 18.9 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 15 13:38:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qmn30/feeling_guilty_about_looking_like_someone_with_an/
---
I forgot my lunch today so I went to a cafe down the street. The last few days have been pretty high calorie due to going out and drinking quite a bit so I'm really reigning it in today.
I got a diet coke, a hardboiled egg, and a mini babybell cheese, at a cafe that serves extensive sandwiches for almost every dietary restriction, soups, pastries, and falafel.
I stared at the case for like 10 minutes and even though the barista ringing me out made casual small talk and didn't so much as give me a suspecting look I just felt really guilty about it being pretty obvious.
Now I'm sitting on a bench on my lunch break just wallowing in the fact that I feel pitiful and gross.
I don't know this has never happened to me before, I usually don't care how it comes off in public but today I just felt like a giant red flag was dangling over my head.
Just feeling gross and needed to vent.
[Rant/Rave] My amazon pantry order arrived
/u/Strawberry2point0 [5'8" | CW: 158 lbs | GW: 120 lbs | 21M]
Created: Mon Jan 15 13:32:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qmlhu/my_amazon_pantry_order_arrived/
---
...Full of disgusting, junky food I ordered specifically to binge on when I was in full monster hunger mode. And I was shocked when I opened the box - I don't even remember adding half of this stuff to my cart! It's only been 3 days, why the hell wouldn't I remember?
It really hammers home to me how completely my mental state is altered when my brain decides to switch to Binge Mode. :/
(And now I can't decide whether to throw all this shit out, or keep it for when I inevitably develop another craving for it in the next couple days. Whyyy does my body only want what's the worst for it.)
[Discussion] My Laxative Horror Story
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 133.8 | BMI: 26 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26F]
Created: Mon Jan 15 13:08:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qmenx/my_laxative_horror_story/
---
Right so here's what happened:
I found out my brand new ADD medication makes me constipated (I haven't taken it the past 2 days, I'm stopping it and going to tell my dr because I just cannot mentally handle being constipated all the time, I don't know why, it's just one of my -things-)
I didn't poop for 4 days. It felt like a brick in my stomach and was making me sick. I tried everything- coffee, cigarettes, drinking tons of water, spinach smoothies, prune juice, apple cider vinegar... Nothing.
So I bought some Dulcolax.
I took 1 around 3pm on Saturday, 12 hours passed, nothing happened. I just felt worse and more constipated. So I read about the dosing and asked around on here, and figured I could take 2 safely.
So I took 2, around 2pm yesterday.
From around 5-8 I had cramps so bad that I couldn't move, I literally had to lie on my left side and stay completely still and grip my boyfriend's hand and just deal with it.
And then, the poops.
So the first poop was alright. It was a normal shape and everything, just a lot.
So was the second poop.
The third poop, however, was just straight up explosive diarrhea. I became clammy, shaky, almost passed out, sweating a river, couldn't move from the toilet. I had to open the bathroom door and have my boyfriend bring me water, and then after I was finally done I had to actually crawl to the bed and was unable to move for about an hour.
I still feel like shit, I've managed to eat some today and keep myself super hydrated. I'm just kinda wondering why it happened this way? This doesn't seem normal and I did keep myself super hydrated before and after I took the pill and up until going, so I'm not sure why it made me so sick.
Obviously I won't be doing it again, as it completely demobilized me, I'm just wondering if anyone could shed some light as to why I had SUCH a horrible reaction to it.
[Rant/Rave] A confession to make (or several)
/u/spaceepixiee
Created: Mon Jan 15 12:32:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qm4ws/a_confession_to_make_or_several/
---
While I hate my ED, I guess there’s a few things I (sadly) like about it such as:
-being glad I don’t binge, and so far only lose weight (I promise I understand how serious binging is, I guess it’s my disordered thinking telling me this?)
-being proud of the control I have
-being glad I’m the skinniest friend in the group
I feel like such a terrible person for being proud of this! All EDs are serious but all I can focus on is being thin. Is that bad of me?
[Discussion] DAE add hot sauce to everything to feel fuller from less
/u/marzipandreamin
Created: Mon Jan 15 12:27:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qm3c6/dae_add_hot_sauce_to_everything_to_feel_fuller/
---
I drink so much water that I end up sooo full. Satisfying haha
[Discussion] Low Calories Slow Cooker Recipes For One?
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 147lb | 21.32 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 15 12:24:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qm2jq/low_calories_slow_cooker_recipes_for_one/
---
This weekend I got a 1.5 Quart Slow Cooker from a family member. [This one to be exact](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B008GS8R3K/_encoding=UTF8?coliid=I1X10QC30A3X9L&colid=3SBP5HA2QMF2P&psc=1). I love that it's so tiny because I can make a recipe and not have to worry about a ton of leftovers since it's just me. Anyone have good low cal recipes?
[Rant/Rave] making jokes at my assessment appointment
/u/101_honey [🌼5'1.5" / cw-2fat // wl-5bls// bmi-29 // gw-101]
Created: Mon Jan 15 12:17:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qm0pv/making_jokes_at_my_assessment_appointment/
---
"puking is more efficient than running" etc (i had some hilarious jokes i cant remember now but proedmemes woulda loved them)
i'd be laughing and the therapist would just cringe
excuse me ma'am them jokes was hilarious don't gimme that look of pity
[Intro] An introduction and my story.
/u/sleepylune
Created: Mon Jan 15 11:49:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qlt1m/an_introduction_and_my_story/
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Sorry if intros aren't really a thing here, feel free to remove - just wanted to say hello and share a little about myself before I begin posting.
Fair warning it's a bit tl;dr and it can be shortened down to just hey I'm sleepylune and I'm a troubled 20 something with an ED and I want it to end on my own terms, but not yet.
///
So, hi! I'm sleepylune and I'm a girl in my 20's who has been a sufferer of eating disorders since I was about 12, with a poor body image as early as 10 years old due to me being a chubby child and both kids and adults making comments on my weight.
I always wanted to change something about my weight from the start of it all, but I never was taught the healthy way. My mum used to rave about her slim days where she had a hip bridge, visible ribs, thighs that never touched and told me often that I was too plump to achieve that and my dad told me that a lot of exercise was the only way.
With these words in my mind, I took to the internet to find how to achieve the bones look because that was what the ideal look supposedly was. I eventually was led to blogging communities such as LiveJournal which supported my search for the perfect body, the body that my parents would perhaps even praise me for.
Even when I did reach my goal weight though, my parents found other things to criticize that was subject to improvement. They never saw my weight as a milestone or something I had spent the majority of my teenage years trying to achieve. By that time though I was in too deep, I couldn't just drop this feeling of deep satisfaction that I gained from self control and discipline and I never really learned how to have healthy habits, so it wasn't something I could slink back into.
For a while though, I did get better and it was nice not really worrying about the number of calories or the food I'd eaten on that day. I maintained a healthy weight and honestly perhaps was even content about my body? But never exactly happy about it. I was actually happier at my lower weight when I felt in control and alive. It sounds so awful saying it but it's also the truth.
I suppose that's why I'm here because I'm not really ready to recover. I don't live at home anymore and my parents are in a different country so this is a choice I can at least say I've made by myself.
I find it so weird that even though this disease has taken over my life for the worse and has given me so many health problems, that I'm not ready to let go. At least not yet. I think it has to be on my own terms, if that makes sense?
I'm also here because I've technically been here for a while, but more as a lurker and this is more of a coming out of the shadows post with an attached emotional ramble.
[Rant/Rave] 5 pounds down in a week+ after breakup!
/u/aeroplanessky [5"3 | 110]
Created: Mon Jan 15 11:49:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qlsw6/5_pounds_down_in_a_week_after_breakup/
---
So my heart is in pieces still, but fortunately, hating myself and the person I've become that's pushed my ex away has been a great thing to punish with restricting!
Last Thursday, when he broke up with me, I weighed around 112. I got on the scale today and it said 107.4. yeah yeah, water weights probably factored in, but God is even notice how different my stomach looks.
Can't wait to get back to 95 like when I was a freshman in high school.
[Tip] Newly discovered appetite suppressant from the most unexpected source. 🍄
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 62 | 20.72/20.47 | GW: 57 | UGW: <55 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 15 11:48:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qlssr/newly_discovered_appetite_suppressant_from_the/
---
So I spent the night last night with this new guy in my life and we ended up taking some shrooms (first time for me, he has a lot more experience tho). I didn't really feel anything besides my pupils being dilated and feeling a bit more happy and carefree. He was tripping balls tho so I ended up drinking half a bottle of scotch after not having any food all day (besides a clementine that night) so we could both be not sober.
But I noticed today that I have no appetite AT ALL. Like, all I had to eat today was a caffeine energy bar before the gym and a beer afterwords. I was going to have some hard boiled eggs but I literally could not give a fuck.
Has anyone ever taken shrooms had noticed this?
9lbs in 5 days
/u/Carecrowbunnything
Created: Mon Jan 15 11:40:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qlqgt/9lbs_in_5_days/
---
[removed]
I thought I ate 220 calories of mint chocolate, when I actually had 660
/u/Rocket_to_Russia_
Created: Mon Jan 15 11:19:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qlkt6/i_thought_i_ate_220_calories_of_mint_chocolate/
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[removed]
[Other] Ate bad food
/u/Roseemacculate02
Created: Mon Jan 15 11:06:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qlh9p/ate_bad_food/
---
I made a new account, I think my other name was too clear to people I might know. Anyway, this last week I ate both a burger AND a burrito... I gained 5lb and it sucks but I'm also happy I did it. I had been craving these foods for a while and now I remember that, yes, they're good but not THAT good. I feel like I got them off my mind and I can now not feel jealous anymore (at least for a while) when other people eat these foods. Time to restrict again yay!
Edit: Also, I love this account, no one else would understand these things and it's really nice to be able to talk about somewhere :)
What to do after a 5,000 calorie binge? How do I get back on track and get rid of the hard, MASSIVE basketball sized bloat in two days for an event? Did this boost my metabolism or anything positive? How bad did it really set me back? I know an extra 3,500 is roughly a pound of fat :-/
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 15 10:25:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ql6dn/what_to_do_after_a_5000_calorie_binge_how_do_i/
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[deleted]
[Help] I’m new and need help
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 15 10:17:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ql414/im_new_and_need_help/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] [rant/rave] Family members making this SO difficult
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 15 10:02:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ql04p/rantrave_family_members_making_this_so_difficult/
---
[deleted]
[Help] objective viewpoint? :(
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 15 10:00:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qkzc0/objective_viewpoint/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] [discussion] Tell me about the first time you told someone about your ED.
/u/idontevenliketeatbh [23F 5'3" | cw.154 | ugw.100 | lost.45lbs ☕ ]
Created: Mon Jan 15 09:31:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qks34/discussion_tell_me_about_the_first_time_you_told/
---
How did they respond? I have a friend who's been my good friend for about 11 years. I was telling them that our old friends keep messaging me to complain about their lives but never ask how I am. Basically I said, if I say yeah I'm having bad times too, they don't even bother asking what's bothering me.
They immediately said, are you all right, you can always talk to me, etc. I straight up said, I have an eating disorder. I don't know why I said it, I haven't told anyone else. They said, I'm in mental health support groups on FB if you want me to add you, people there have EDs, everyone there is kind. I'm always here for you if you need help or want to recover, but I'm not going to overstep. Like seriously everything exactly what you want to hear from someone. I was surprised and comforted. They want to go into social work and I'm thinking they really should! I just never thought I'd have such a positive experience telling someone. I feel like if I told my husband, he'd cry and beg me to recover. Which is definitely not what I want to hear.
What has been y'all's experiences? Also sorry if my pronouns seem confusing, my friend prefers they/them and it can take getting used to for some people.
[Help] Does the type of calories you ingest matter?
/u/elizasbreath [162cm| CW 47.5kg | GW: 45kg | -14kg I 18F]
Created: Mon Jan 15 09:15:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qko3j/does_the_type_of_calories_you_ingest_matter/
---
[removed]
[Help] Low calorie school lunch ideas?
/u/Throwaway412160987
Created: Mon Jan 15 09:07:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qklul/low_calorie_school_lunch_ideas/
---
Do you guys have any easy low calorie school lunch ideas? School lunch at my school is shit and so overpriced. Plus I can’t get an accurate count. Usually I’ll pack a sandwich and 2 pieces of fruit, but I’d love to hear your ideas.
[Rant/Rave] I've put on a total of 8 pounds
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 15 09:06:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qklsy/ive_put_on_a_total_of_8_pounds/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qklsy/ive_put_on_a_total_of_8_pounds/
[Rant/Rave] Feeling shit
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Mon Jan 15 08:49:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qkhhd/feeling_shit/
---
I have no friends. I have two people who I consider friends however it isn't mutual and today I've completely fucked it all up with them . It was inevitable I've been a shit friend and annoying and inconvenience and a burden to them for too long and today I've pissed them off and there's no reason for them to ever come back to me. I don't blame them I wouldn't want to be my friend. It's made me purge 5 times today and now I'm really not feeling good both physically along with mentally. I am already a self destructive person but being home alone especially today with my thoughts has been rough. Nothing feels right and nothing feels worth it. I'm at my lowest weight but couldn't be more unhappy. In addition even though my BMI is 17 I still have to drop more weight to be considered "underweight" as I'm 16. I don't understand why being underweight is validating for me but I don't understand any if this. Just feeling fucked off and drained physically and mentally. I don't deserve friends and I definitely don't deserve food.
Sorry to anyone that's reading this I know I'm annoying and dramatic but there you go hate me I hate me too
[Rant/Rave] I just binge ate 200g of raw Spinach
/u/DontMindMeJustBingin [183cm/6'0" | 58kg/128lbs | 16.64 | GW 58kg/128lbs | M]
Created: Mon Jan 15 08:48:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qkha6/i_just_binge_ate_200g_of_raw_spinach/
---
Dunno whether to go to the hospital now or to do an AMA 😂
[Rant/Rave] This community is the best
/u/Hannah-Girl
Created: Mon Jan 15 08:21:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qkb4y/this_community_is_the_best/
---
Seriously. I posted on something else, and not only were the responses unhelpful, some were down right cruel. Someone saw my profile pic and then called me a streetwalker. So thank you for being the best place on reddit. I love you all.
[Rant/Rave] Just need to vent
/u/KitteeChaos
Created: Mon Jan 15 07:29:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qjzs6/just_need_to_vent/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] January 15th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 15 05:39:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qjfgo/january_15th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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On a scale of 1 - 10, how was (is) your lunch today?
Considering I’m finally eating lunch probably a 10 😂
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! January 15, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jan 15 05:14:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qjbgh/weekly_stats_update_january_15_2018/
---
This is the weekly status thread for January 15, 2018.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! January 15, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jan 15 05:14:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qjbfr/daily_food_diary_january_15_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 15, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Help] Well, I wanted people to notice, and now they have and it's a train wreck...
/u/whatsupbuttercup5 [5'3" | CW 93.4 | BMI 16.5 | UGW 88 | HW 126 | 25F]
Created: Mon Jan 15 04:34:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qj5ck/well_i_wanted_people_to_notice_and_now_they_have/
---
This is a perfect case of be careful what you wish for. People finally noticed my weight loss. I had to have my semesterly meeting with my faculty advisor and she told me other faculty members have picked up on it and were coming to her out of concern. Side note, they all work in medicine (they're all physician assistants) so they are pretty well-versed in EDs.
It was the most awkward meeting of my life. She basically said they can't stop me self-destructing, but that it could become a problem in my clinical year (starting in May) if I physically can't keep up with a rotation. And that my weight is so suspicious people might question my clinical judgment, which makes me feel like crap because now I'm wondering if the faculty (whose opinions I actually respect and care about) questions my judgment. I want them to think highly of me, and now I feel like I've lost that.
Knowing that they talk about me and my body when I'm not around is humiliating. I know they think of it more as a medical issue and not a personal failing, but I don't want them to think less of me or that I'm not capable. I also don't know which of them knows or went to her about it, so now I have an added layer of paranoia.
I'm afraid this will actually stop my progression to clinical year, though she told me not to worry about it. It's an added stress on top of all the other stress.
[Help] BMI calculator that considers age?
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Mon Jan 15 04:24:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qj3ws/bmi_calculator_that_considers_age/
---
I’m 16 and find that the NHS BMI calculator (that considers age) gives me different stats from other online ones i’ve tried (which don’t consider age) but the NHS one doesn’t give me an actual BMI just what health range i’m in. Wondering if there’s any other BMI calculators that you know that consider age or if you know the different boundaries for what’s considered a healthy weight and underweight in regards to height for “children”. Help appreciated 💖💖
[Discussion] Would an ECA stack make me less anxious than an EC stack?
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 198lbs | M]
Created: Mon Jan 15 04:14:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qj2g5/would_an_eca_stack_make_me_less_anxious_than_an/
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[removed]
[Discussion] I hate my boobs. DAE understand this?
/u/parawhour
Created: Mon Jan 15 03:08:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qiswg/i_hate_my_boobs_dae_understand_this/
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I’ve commented a few times on this sub but this is my first post, so hi!
I am an 18 year old female and have had disordered eating since i was 6 or 7 years old, diagnosed with an ED when I was 12.
I’m half Puerto Rican which has given me these huge fucking boobs. I know a lot of girls wish they had bigger boobs and that guys “love huge tits” or what-the-fuck-ever, but I HATE mine. Even at my lowest weight (which was two years ago, 90lbs at 5’3) my boobs were at least a B or C cup which is fucking RIDICULOUS when the rest of my body looked skeletal. Currently I believe I’m at about 120lbs and my boobs are in D cups.
I feel like such a fat fucking failure so I always try to hide my body in huge shirts/sweaters, but since my boobs are so big it makes my clothes hang out farther than the rest of my body, making it look like I could be bigger than I actually am which terrifies me.
Does anyone else experience this or have any comments or something?
**Please reply. It’s 5am and I haven’t slept in a couple of days and I’ve been fasting for two days and can’t stop thinking about either every wrong choice I’ve made or obsessing over food.
Edit: also adding that I was fat as a child and bullied for it by peers and family who would both point out that I had boobs even though I was really young. Maybe that’s why I get so conscious of them. I remember one time in middle school a boy made up a rumor that I stuffed my bra and everyone made fun of me and it made me so ashamed that my boobs were even big enough to look like I was trying to make them bigger.
[Rant/Rave] videogaming is making things worse
/u/tarantulahospital [5'7 | -40lb | F]
Created: Mon Jan 15 02:38:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qion3/videogaming_is_making_things_worse/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I am a selfish and terrible person. I want to blame the ED but what if I am just a shitty person
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Mon Jan 15 02:04:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qijpt/i_am_a_selfish_and_terrible_person_i_want_to/
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On mobile flair as rant/rave. Thank you lovely mods
So where do I begin. I am sort of in a relationship with an FA (read as fat activist or fat-ass...like they are big) and I feel like I am sort of trapped. I might post this to r/relationships too.
I like their personality to some extent and how they try hard to validate me and my queer/nonbinary identity. They are supportive and kind and even let me stay at their apartment when things aren't well at my home. They tell me the love me and I just kind of parrot it back because on new years eve I drunkly said I loved them.
They know I have/had an ED. They also sort of have one. They over eat a lot. They hate healthy foods like fruits and veggies. They are proud of eating a lot of carbs and sugar. They eat whole boxes of kraft Mac and cheese every day with liberal amounts of butter and cheese.
So there is the background information.
I feel trapped because we are both bipolar. They are medicated and I am not. They have a lot of anxiety and panic attacks around relationships and in general. They are needy and seem to always want me around. I guess I would like them more if I wasn't so upset with how they treated their body. I guess I am one one to talk. We are opposite sides of the same coin. They eat too much and I just have a complicated relationship with food. I feel like I am playing with fire and walking on egg shells with them. Like I am opening myself to be manipulated.
Here is where I am the bad person. They motivate me to prove how sick I am. When they eat a ton I want to eat next to nothing. I want to stop cooking for them and not encourage their unhealthy behavior. I want them to want to lose weight. I want them to feel bad for being how that are. I want them to see me suffer.
They refuse to see doctors for any minor to moderate issues because they don't want to be told to lose weight when they really should. Its a shame because they are smart and want to be a biologist and are looking at masters programs but I feel like the world won't take them seriously because the world is shallow and apparently I am too. I like how interest they seem in me but honestly from their face down I don't have much physical attraction.
I still have feelings for my ex, the only person I feel like I could love. They weren't skinny but they did want to be healthier and that was something. Everything just kind of collapsed over Thanksgiving when they got anxiety and stopped talking to me while we were long distance and decided they didn't want me in their life after 5 years together. I keep holding on to them wanting me back in the future months to a year from now when I have my shit together.
For the time being I just have this rebound that I don't expect to to more then a few months if they don't decide to lose weight or try to be healthier. It's not enjoyable being with some who can barely have sex (I do all the work), is out of breath and sweaty all the time, can't shop at normal stores for clothes, who doesn't even try to be healthy, hates walking or active activities because of chronic pain that wouldn't be their if they were bigger.
I just look at it as a poor investment. If I wanted this person for long term that wouldn't be long for them because their weight puts a tremendous strain on their life and life expectancy.
So I feel terrible..
[Rant/Rave] Wish I had a different ED
/u/DangerTaterz
Created: Mon Jan 15 01:58:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qiire/wish_i_had_a_different_ed/
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I *know* that all eating disorders are bad, but I wish I had the restraint that Ana does or the power that Mia has to at least counter some of the calories taken in a binge. My lard ass just binges all the time. I can't even restrict to a "normal" amount of calories without losing control and shoving everything I can in my mouth. I've tried various ways of purging, all to no success.
At least if my ED consisted of anything else, I'd be skinny or at least skinnier than my current blimp self.
[Help] Plateau
/u/dino_bones72 [5’3” | 130lbs | 22 | 13lbs | Female ]
Created: Mon Jan 15 01:48:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qihda/plateau/
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So, with some variances day to day, I’ve run at a daily deficit of 700 for the last 4 weeks but my weight hasn’t shifted. It’s hovered between 59.3kg and 58.9kg. My CGW is 55kg, with my next goal at 50kg and will re-evaluate then. Any ideas? It’s driving me mad
[Rant/Rave] welp
/u/waitupana [15M | 147cm (4'10)]
Created: Mon Jan 15 00:56:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qi9rf/welp/
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welp
medicare in australia only covers $110 of therapy sessions, and the place i got referred to is $240/session
i mean mum is willing to pay but fucking dumbass government "hurr durr we're gonna stop indexing the rebate for inflation"
well I mean other therapists don't charge that much but this is the one I got referred to and I haven't even acknowledged that I have an issue
I was referred because of my food diary for the hospital having grams ill probably end up dying from this shit when i give in and start restricting again but i dont care anymore
[Other] Goodbye.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 15 00:00:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qi15d/goodbye/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Attempting recovery and so damn sick of it.
/u/accordingtoging [5'9" | 135 | 19.5 | -40 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 14 23:11:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qhsx3/attempting_recovery_and_so_damn_sick_of_it/
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I’m ending my fifth day of my DIY recovery, and it fucking sucks. I’m exhausted emotionally and in pain physically and every time I look in a mirror I hate myself more than before. My boyfriend keeps saying recovering is better than getting worse, but right now I’m seriously disagreeing. All recovery has done is make me fat, tired, and depressed. So tomorrow I’m eating at most oatmeal in the morning and nothing else. The amount I hate myself right now does not feel worth the eventual slight improvement in health.
[Help] ugh I just keep binging cause I’m so emotional :( I can’t exercise either and that’s the worst.. advice for how to stop emotional eating?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 14 23:09:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qhsmr/ugh_i_just_keep_binging_cause_im_so_emotional_i/
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[deleted]
[Tip] What will my body look like after a ten day fast??
/u/Thenomadicprincess
Created: Sun Jan 14 22:31:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qhm2v/what_will_my_body_look_like_after_a_ten_day_fast/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels
/u/ntagasf15685
Created: Sun Jan 14 21:24:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qh9pn/nothing_tastes_as_good_as_skinny_feels/
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This quote seriously becomes more real to me everyday. I hate food and I feel so much happier not eating and starving. I can't talk to anyone else about this and am so happy to have this a community who understands this.
[Rant/Rave] When all else fails at least I can be skinny
/u/autotrapqueen [5'7.5| CW 131.8 | 20.19 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 14 20:46:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qh2s6/when_all_else_fails_at_least_i_can_be_skinny/
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I’m not that pretty. Im doing fine in school but I’m not that smart or that hard of a worker and am scared of how much longer I can keep faking that I belong in my program. I have no energy and I’m socially awkward and have a plethora of mental health issues and a 4 year relationship that’s been doomed from the start and is failing at an exponential rate and I’ve just been numbing myself with alcohol and sleep.
Maybe I’m not a good girlfriend but at least I’m good at starving myself. I may not have a pretty face but at least I’m skinny. I may always isolated myself and cut out good people from my life but at least I’m able to go to bed with an empty stomach.
I may have been hurt so many times and been put through so much absolute bullshit and trauma but at least I’ve numbed myself to it. I put all my energy toward being skinny because at least I’m good at that.
[Discussion] college psychological services?
/u/pktjs
Created: Sun Jan 14 19:19:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qgl7m/college_psychological_services/
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i have an appointment on tues with my schools psychological services. i put down that i am struggling with depression (probably not true) and mood swings (true) but did not mention anything eating disorder related.
i’m assuming i’d get a bulimia diagnosis (although i didn’t purge from mid august to october and didn’t resume purging 1+/week until mid november). i have lost maybe 4lbs but would tell then i’ve gained (my bmi currently is 20 so i have like 10lbs i can loose ‘safely’ or whatever).
anyway a relapse that has been going on since jan 2017 has gotten exponentially worse since after my brief college induced hiatus. i am afraid that i’ll continue to spiral at school also i’m super moody/bitchy because of food/weight stuff on top of being lowkey a bitch normally and i’m pretty apathetic/numb/sad otherwise so.
point is: should i tell the counselor about my ed behaviors? should i just focus on the self esteem/mood swings/apathy? i want to stop b/p’ing but i don’t want to gain weight (and i want to loose another 15lbs) but i am. not historically great at restricting and also my digestive system probably is out of commission for a little while due to laxatives/purging and my body/brain definitely aren’t at peak performance / i might be anemic or whateverBUT
holy shit this is so long.
tldr; going to student health, should i let them know about bulimic behaviors or just focus on other issues (behind the binging perhaps?) any experiences w/ college services and or therapy in general sorry for long post ahh
edit: for clarity on how much ed effects my life, i b/p 1-2 times a day despite moderate attempts to not do so. cannot s*** w/o lax. have stopped hobbies/being productive and b/p whenever i am free for long enough time. behaviors extremely obvious to family who have not confronted me because it’s Awkward
[Rant/Rave] Does anyone else fast bc they're broke?
/u/RainbowDreamcorp
Created: Sun Jan 14 19:03:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qghv3/does_anyone_else_fast_bc_theyre_broke/
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I'm a broke college student and most of the time the main reason I dont eat is because I have to spend my money on more important things.. I live with my grandparents who stock their kitchen with nothing but junk food so I tell myself that I can only eat things I buy.
Today I spent the last $3 I had on cat food. At least he is happy.
And because I never eat, I sleep a lot. So whenever they go out to eat or order something or whatever, they never see if I'm awake and ask me to go with them, they just assume I'm not and leave. There have been a few times that they'll text me and ask but my phone just got shut off.. They won't take 2 seconds to come to my room and see me.
Sorry about this being random and probably no one will relate but it's what I'm feeling right now as I watch them drive away to go get dinner. Once they leave I'll probably just go get some toast maybe.
[Help] I drank a whole bottle of wine and I feel disgusting
/u/myrtlewils0n [5'4 ☾ hw:141 ☾ cw:125 ☾ gw:108 ☾ 21F]
Created: Sun Jan 14 18:58:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qggwv/i_drank_a_whole_bottle_of_wine_and_i_feel/
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How do y'all not let alcohol fuck you over? The only time I don't worry about my ED is when I drink but suddenly I've gotten really paranoid about drinking and tonight I drank a whole bottle of wine and overshot my calorie goal and kinda wanna die or at least purge lmao
[Discussion] Low cal recipes?
/u/cancookaroast [179cm | CW: 80kg | BMI: 24.9 | WL: 17kg | 22F]
Created: Sun Jan 14 18:54:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qgfxq/low_cal_recipes/
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Can you guys suggest any yum recipes that are easy to make a lot of at a time but would be 100-250 calories/serve? I'm so sick of eating the same thing
I really don't like cooking so I tend to meal prep. Thanks heaps 💖
[Rant/Rave] Depression is fuel
/u/mermaid_quesadilla
Created: Sun Jan 14 18:16:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qg7n9/depression_is_fuel/
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I’ve had a pretty bad week. In turn I’m finally restricting again, which I had a hard time doing lately, especially because my boyfriend was not about it. Now he won’t speak to me, and I completely want to die, but I haven’t eaten in 3 days. The only time I can control myself is when I’m desperate and alone. I’m hungry right now, but I want to see if I can make it a week before I eat, because then I know I can probably make it another week. I guess I just want something to be proud of.
[Rant/Rave] Cant vomit anymore
/u/Bsli
Created: Sun Jan 14 17:43:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qg0nh/cant_vomit_anymore/
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ffs. so i used to throw up my food a lot and then i "got better" when i got a boyfriend and actual friends and all that shit. when i started college some girls in my dorm had EDs which made me relapse which im happy about which i know is fucked. The break from throwing up has (i think) made it impossible to throw up. Ive even tried eating body butter (which i would not reccommend because it is vile). I think maybe im struggling because the only tome slot i have to throw up is late at night because people are often chilling in my room after i eat and the toilet is in an en suite. My friends are out tomorrow and if i cant throw up in that time slot idk what ill do because i have a doctors appointment on the 7th Feb and then ill have (or want to, can you imagine?) stop. Advice is welcome however I doubt ive not tried it. SMH.
[Discussion] Daylio mood and activity tracker
/u/lil_meowjito [5'1 🐷 | CW: 107.2| GW1: 95 | 🍑: meowjito]
Created: Sun Jan 14 16:40:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qfmz3/daylio_mood_and_activity_tracker/
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I first heard about the Daylio app from an AskReddit thread. Each day you input your mood (1) awful to (5) rad along with any interesting activities and notes. The best part is that you can create your own "[activities](https://imgur.com/a/8iwdt)" and the app with tell you what activities are associated with certain moods. For example, I have created binging and fasting activities along with some other personal activities like quality time with my cats. I look forward to making a "whooooosh" activity but I'm not quite there yet but I'm sure some of you are! At the end of the month, the app can calculate your average mood which is pretty cool and you can see how many times you've done each activity like total # of binges.
This is a great way to do some electronic mood tracking if you can't keep up with paper bullet journals like me because you can set a notification reminder for yourself.
[Other] Happy 18th Birthday to me, I guess.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 14 16:16:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qfhoo/happy_18th_birthday_to_me_i_guess/
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[deleted]
[Other] Nothing like a good food haul! Details in comments
/u/anonymousalmondmilk
Created: Sun Jan 14 16:01:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qfebl/nothing_like_a_good_food_haul_details_in_comments/
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https://i.redd.it/fh8lvco764a01.jpg
[Other] Nothing like a good food haul!!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 14 16:00:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qfe47/nothing_like_a_good_food_haul/
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https://i.redd.it/rkwqqlv164a01.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Dad says I eat too much
/u/spaceepixiee
Created: Sun Jan 14 15:25:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qf5za/dad_says_i_eat_too_much/
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Yep as the title says, my dad says I eat too much. He know I have had disordered eating in the past but he doesn’t know it’s come back worse than ever—I’m probably anorexic at this point? And I only ate 347 cals today because I’m sick (with a cold, but i guess the ED counts) so that really fucking hurt.
Now all I want to do is curl up in a ball and never eat again. I need some kind words, friends. :(
I think I’m gonna hole up in my room and trigger myself so I skip dinner :(
What do you do when you're not consumed by the crushing weight of your ED? Aka tell me about your hobbies!
/u/originalpizzamaster
Created: Sun Jan 14 15:17:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qf466/what_do_you_do_when_youre_not_consumed_by_the/
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Are you a Frisbee champion? Do you collect vintage hubcaps? Are you obsessed with 90s J-horror?
[Goal] A small milestone achieved!
/u/IttyBittyBatty [5'5" | CW 😱 | -25.2lbs]
Created: Sun Jan 14 15:17:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qf45g/a_small_milestone_achieved/
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https://imgur.com/IxR9yP9
[Goal] There is a weight loss challenge at work that I joined.
/u/Just_a_Paper_Bag [5'8" | F]
Created: Sun Jan 14 14:56:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qez0e/there_is_a_weight_loss_challenge_at_work_that_i/
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Lol, these mother fuckers think this is a game?! I live for this. I will win.
No one is taking it seriously, eating fast food and doing nothing different.
The prize is a paid day off.
I've never been this excited and determined in my life and I'm fat enough right now to not raise any eyebrows.
I just had to share with you guys - you guys get it better than anyone else does.
[Discussion] Renpho scale
/u/cutesweetrosie
Created: Sun Jan 14 14:49:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qexgw/renpho_scale/
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Does anyone have this scale? I got this scale in the mail today and I really like it! However, I’m confused as to how they calculate the ideal body weight. My BMI is within a healthy range, but it says my weight is too heavy.
Does anyone have any ideas about this?
Thank you so much!
[Discussion] Weird question: are there any other ministers here?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 14 14:28:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qes83/weird_question_are_there_any_other_ministers_here/
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[deleted]
[Help] Fainting
/u/countingveggies
Created: Sun Jan 14 14:24:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qer9u/fainting/
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How do you avoid passing out? Like I know it happens and you can’t really control it, but is there a way to curve it?
[Discussion] Who else is a struggling college student?
/u/cloudy_gaze [5'3.5" | 94lbs | 16.4 |20F]
Created: Sun Jan 14 14:21:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qeqms/who_else_is_a_struggling_college_student/
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It's so hard. Between the depression and the ED, I've become so withdrawn. I had a 4.0 last quarter but I can't even bring myself to start studying or open my textbooks.
I really don't want help, though.
[Help] How much water do I need to drink to compensate for the candy I just ate??
/u/rainbowicecoffee
Created: Sun Jan 14 13:17:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qeayy/how_much_water_do_i_need_to_drink_to_compensate/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Moderation isn’t satisfying once you’ve mastered the extremes
/u/freckafunk
Created: Sun Jan 14 13:15:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qeamo/moderation_isnt_satisfying_once_youve_mastered/
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Now that I’m overweight, not underweight
Now that I’m sedentary, not very active
Now that I’m “healthy”, not athletic
Now that it’s .25 miles, not 5
Now that the size 6/8 isn’t zipping, not staying on the rack while I see if the 2 will be too big
Now that the scale ruins my week, not makes my day
Every “good” choice feels like a failure because I’m too fat/out of shape for it to be effective. Is it ED I’m fighting or a lack of discipline? Should I eat less to FIGHT the ED voice because it tells me to self sabotage, or should I EAT MORE to fight the desire to restrict?
Anxiety and self hatred when I want to turn down the second piece of cake but don’t because “that’s restricting” even though actually cannot resist the second piece and will eat 2 more.
Shame and disappointment when I can barely run a quarter mile on the treadmill because it doesn’t give me the high that 20 minutes at 7.5mph used to
Moderation isn’t satisfying after you’ve lost yourself in the extremes (good and bad)
How do you believe in yourself when you’ve watched yourself fail so much
[Goal] Mini goals?
/u/OakenArchive
Created: Sun Jan 14 13:10:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qe9ei/mini_goals/
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[removed]
[Other] A is for Abilify, an ED alphabet
/u/SpaceWhale88 [Height 5'3 | CW 180 | HW 197 | LW 122 | 29F]
Created: Sun Jan 14 12:54:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qe57n/a_is_for_abilify_an_ed_alphabet/
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Abilify
Bingeing
Cutting
Dysmorphia
Eating Disorder
Fantasizing, Fasting
Goal weight
Highest weight
Impatience
Jealously
Kale chips
Lexapro, Latuda, Lamictal
Monotony, MFP
Noose
Omeprazole
Purging
Quest Bars
Restricting
Starving
Trintellix
Ultimate goal weight
Vaping
Wellbutrin
Xanax
Yellow American Spirits
Zero (Coke, size, calories), Zoloft
Help me out I got stuck on a few! Edit: I'll keep updating when I get some more suggestions!
[Help] can't stop squeezing at my skin
/u/antkings [20.1 | plant boy]
Created: Sun Jan 14 12:21:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qdx9e/cant_stop_squeezing_at_my_skin/
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Or feeling the way my tummy feels in pants or the way my thighs touch when I stand up or how fat and jiggly my ass is or the way my arms brush against my shirts holy fuck!!!! This is dabilitating!!! I feel like I'm drowning in myself and I can hardly focus on school or work and my brain is convinced that everyone I care about is going to hate me if I eat anything and I'm so scared and I cry anytime I eat anything and oh god fuck help
[Discussion] January 14th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 14 12:20:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qdx01/january_14th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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Are you a leader or a follower?
[Help] Is it safe to take 2 dulcolax at once?
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 133.8 | BMI: 26 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26F]
Created: Sun Jan 14 12:04:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qdt9r/is_it_safe_to_take_2_dulcolax_at_once/
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Hey guys, I tried taking 1 yesterday around 3pm and it didn't work. It's been almost 24 hours since I took it, so I just took 2 more hoping I'll see some results tonight or tomorrow morning. Is it okay that I did that? This is not even an ED related thing, this is just me being uncomfortably constipated for 4 days.
Edit: Hahaha, you know my new miracle ADD med that was completely taking away my appetite? One of the common side effects is constipation. Stopping this ASAP. Fuck that
[Discussion] Liquid vs Solid Calories?
/u/coffeebean27
Created: Sun Jan 14 11:59:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qdrxx/liquid_vs_solid_calories/
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What’s the difference between drinking 800 and eating 800? Lately I’ve been only been drinking my calories, like have coffee and juices. So what happens to those calories? Or is drinking 1000 better than eating 800? I feel like when I do this I feel less bad about all the calories and how full I am. What do you guys think?
[Discussion] DAE treat weight loss as post-high school revenge?
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | CW: 120 | GW: small | F]
Created: Sun Jan 14 11:41:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qdnti/dae_treat_weight_loss_as_posthigh_school_revenge/
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Spoiler alert: everyone gains weight after high school, for some reason. Regardless of whether or not you go on to study at a university/college, you *will* be affected by the freshman 15.
I've observed this the past few years (Facebook and otherwise), ever since I graduated. Pretty much everyone who "peaked" in high school has packed on the pounds. This fuels my ED like crazy because I think I'm still stuck on winning against those people and being better than they are. They made my life living hell senior year, and the way I'm coping with it now is to lose weight so I feel like *I'm* the one who's "peaking" now. *I won.*
Joke's on me, though--even though I'm 10 lbs lighter than I was at graduation, I'm insanely less happy. But my ED brain conveniently ignores this.
[Help] Hi everyone this is a triggering post
/u/Foremergenciesonly
Created: Sun Jan 14 11:18:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qdibt/hi_everyone_this_is_a_triggering_post/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Can't stop binging, what else is new
/u/sogyosha
Created: Sun Jan 14 11:12:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qdgvj/cant_stop_binging_what_else_is_new/
---
I've been nonstop binging for a week. I always wake up thinking "today is the day!" but then immediately eat everything in sight. I moved back in with my parents and they buy so much junk food, it's unreal. I'm getting to the point where I want to beg them to stop buying food as much because I can't stop, and they rarely eat it anyway.
It's funny because I'll be like, "I need to restrict because it's the only thing that gives my life meaning. Binging is going to make me kill myself, so I need this." and then I'll instantly sabotage myself. What the fuck.
[Discussion] What do you think about pro Ana WhatsApp groups?
/u/maybethisistherealme
Created: Sun Jan 14 10:43:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qd9qg/what_do_you_think_about_pro_ana_whatsapp_groups/
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[removed]
[Tip] Intermittent fasting is really helping me cope and I want to share with people who understand
/u/like_a_living_thing [5'4" | 117 | F | 👽]
Created: Sun Jan 14 10:15:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qd348/intermittent_fasting_is_really_helping_me_cope/
---
Obviously this is not the end-all-be-all solution for everyone, or even for me, but I've been doing 16:8 intermittent fasting and it is really helping me for a lot of reasons:
1. Having the fasting period gives me a reason to not just eat when I'm bored. I'm practicing patience and being uncomfortable and it is rewarding.
2. When I eat during my window, I feel less guilt over it. I'm orthorexic and am trying to maintain muscle mass and be healthy and strong, so this is very important to me. It's helping me cope with being obsessive and neurotic while still reaching my goals, and I feel good about it.
3. My window is 2pm-10pm. I live with 7 other people and these are the times when I am typically around them, so they see me eat all of my food typically, so no one will suspect if I am having issues. If they do, I can spout intermittent fasting logic at them to seem healthy and not disordered.
4. It is helping me pay more attention to my body and recognize when I need food and when I don't. Fasting for 16 hours is not going to hurt me, and makes it easier to say no when I want to bored-eat, or when someone offers me baked goods or some bullshit.
Rules and routines are so helpful to me. I know this may not help everyone and I hope it's not too triggering, but I wanted to share. Maybe it's just hypomania but idk I am feeling pretty positive about my life choices right now.
[Help] What kind of physical or specialist should I consider seeing?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 14 09:56:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qcynp/what_kind_of_physical_or_specialist_should_i/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] This sub is so triggering for me 😭
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Sun Jan 14 09:49:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qcwwx/this_sub_is_so_triggering_for_me/
---
I first started coming to this sub months ago to fuel my disorder, when I would get relaxed and not too fucked up I would come here for motivation.
Now I am so comfortable here and this is pretty much my only use for reddit but it is honestly so depressing to me. I love having this community of people who understand but at the same time it makes me realize how fucked I am and how much worse I’ll likely get.
I try to stay away but in my free time I can’t help it. Right now I am convinced if I lose 10lbs and get to 95 then I’ll start to recover and maintain but it makes me so sad knowing that likely won’t be the case. It makes me so sad seeing people dealing with this for 10+ years and I am so afraid that will be me.
[Rant/Rave] Rant - I want to be “healthy” but I also want to be small
/u/phoenixxxskeleton
Created: Sun Jan 14 09:27:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qcrzd/rant_i_want_to_be_healthy_but_i_also_want_to_be/
---
So I’ve been maintaining 105-110 for a while now... I’m 5’6 so that technically makes me underweight. I restricted really heavily around the time of my graduation (last month) and got down a little lower so that I could look nice in my dress... my family got very concerned especially when I constantly complained that I was cold. My mom thinks I’m anemic. She could be right. I can no longer run long distances because I’m too weak and I can no longer fit into women’s clothes (have to wear juniors or children’s).
My family keeps pushing and pushing for me to go to the doctor but I already know what the doctor will say... gain some weight.
So I decided to take it upon myself to gain a LITTLE bit of weight so that I don’t feel so damn unhealthy and cold all the time.
Here’s the thing... I CAN eat normally. Hell I can gorge myself in an entire pizza and feel OK. Until the next day that is. When I see the consequences I freak the fuck out. I was 115 this morning and that was my goal! That’s considered healthy for my height but damn I feel sooooo fucking fat. I can’t be 115... I just can’t let myself. I feel like my stomach bulges out and my pants fit tighter... I just feel straight up gross. Ugh. Idk wtf to do. Does anyone else have the problem of wanting to be healthy but also wanting to keep looking thin and small?
[Rant/Rave] Me and my friend are the same size but only I’m fat
/u/Thecaretakerjohanna
Created: Sun Jan 14 09:17:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qcput/me_and_my_friend_are_the_same_size_but_only_im_fat/
---
I don’t get it. When I look at her I think she looks fine, even skinny sometimes. Her clothes fit me just fine, some of them even with a lot of room. She’s just a little bit taller, her legs are much skinnier but her trousers fit me as well. But I’m huge. She’s not. How.
[Help] Calorie estimate?
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Sun Jan 14 09:14:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qcp87/calorie_estimate/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Function vs aesthetic
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | CW 121 | GW 108 | 21.1 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 14 08:27:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qcezt/function_vs_aesthetic/
---
I'm gaining muscle in my thighs from unicycling (RIP thigh gap: 2015-2017) and lots of upper-body and core strength from learning to play [sousaphone](https://www.princeton.edu/pr/home/03/0707_orange/sousaphone.jpg) (a ~40 pound brass instrument) for marching band. When I started college, my initial goal was to lose the weight I packed on from a 6mo+ binge cycle, use my newfound independence to take total control of my eating, and get down to my GW once and for all. This is the first time that I've fallen in love with any physical activity since my ED started, and I'm struggling to reconcile my need for the scale to go down with my desire to fully experience these things that I love.
[Other] Antidepressants and binging
/u/silkangels [169 cm | CW:54 kg | GW:45 kg]
Created: Sun Jan 14 08:25:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qceke/antidepressants_and_binging/
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Has anyone else experienced this? I'm taking clomipramine for depression and anxiety and it puts me in this weird mood where I don't care how much I eat until after I've eaten everything in the kitchen. So basically now I'm even more depressed than I was before I started therapy lol.
[Rant/Rave] I don't want to leave my house anymore.
/u/CorgiOrBread
Created: Sun Jan 14 07:31:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qc4gs/i_dont_want_to_leave_my_house_anymore/
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I've been religiously staying under my 600 a day calorie limit for weeks until last night. My friends threw a party and even though I wasn't drinking (because I was avoiding the calories) I ended up binging on cupcakes and all the other snacks they had. I don't even like cake I just couldn't stop. I just want to stay at home forever where there's no food to binge on and no social pressure to eat. As an added bonus then no one can see how disgustingly fat I am.
[Rant/Rave] Went out for breakfast and ate more calories than I was planning to
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5'4" | 120 | 20.54| GW: 115 | NB]
Created: Sun Jan 14 07:15:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qc1ni/went_out_for_breakfast_and_ate_more_calories_than/
---
I went for breakfast with my girlfriend this morning with the intention of getting pancakes, turns out the place we went no longer does pancakes so I got a traditional breakfast, it was 907 calories guys and I'm not sure how I feel about it. On the one hand it's good in terms of recovery on the other I don't even know if I'm ready, I didn't eat till 7pm last night, when I ate sushi rice then I ate like 6 shortbread, 5 teaspoons of ice cream and 8 squares of chocolate along with two glasses of Tia Maria and diet coke, like fuck.
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! January 14, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jan 14 05:11:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qbjfb/daily_food_diary_january_14_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 14, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your latest grocery+food hauls!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jan 14 05:11:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qbjci/sunday_share_your_latest_groceryfood_hauls/
---
Feel welcome to post pics of your latest and greatest hauls~! Consider adding commentary on:
* what country you're in
* what store, site, market or Co-op you shopped at
* how much you spent or any sweet deals you found
[Discussion] DAE eat whatever they want as long as they stay in their calorie amount?
/u/lunamoon1 [165.5cm | cw: 107.5| lw: 93lbs |20f]
Created: Sun Jan 14 04:45:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qbg0i/dae_eat_whatever_they_want_as_long_as_they_stay/
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I don’t know if I’m the only one but I’m a low restrictior but for example; I’m allowed under 400 cals a day and if that 400 calories was spent on fast food, for me it doesn’t matter as long as I eat under my calorie/carb amount.
I still have fear foods but allow myself to eat some of what I want as long as I’m restricting
[Rant/Rave] ZzzQuil gives me nightmares
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 198lbs | M]
Created: Sun Jan 14 04:20:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qbcz9/zzzquil_gives_me_nightmares/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Discovered today that I’ve been abusing an oft-overlooked laxative: coffee. 💩
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Sun Jan 14 01:06:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qapcm/discovered_today_that_ive_been_abusing_an/
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TMI warning etc
I had the worst bloating all week (I haven’t been restricting at all, just maintenance or slight overeating for a while). I could barely poop, and when I did, it like like maybe 10% of what was there. I was starting to worry I had some bacterial imbalance or impaction, because even my most trusty super aloe gentle laxative and suppositories barely made a move. I even downed a lb of cherries (which have wrecked me in the past) and it helped halfway. So I went all health nut and changed up my diet: I started drinking enough water, cut all diet sodas, and starting eating like 80% prebiotic and probiotic foods with a proper amount of fiber etc. And that barely made a dent.
Finally, this morning, I had my first cup of coffee in a week. Now, I’ve been a one cup of latte in the morning kind of girl most of my life, and I’ll occasionally take a caffeine break if I’ve had a week or so of taking some pre-workout or having my coffee a little late in the day. So I didn’t think anything of this, I had not even realized that there was or could be any sort of connection...
...until about 30 minutes later when the clocks started ticking again and I ended up going 💩 3 times. My stomach is starting to look normal again and I feel like a million bucks.
Guess I can’t ever give up coffee now 🤷♀️
[Tip] Oatmeal hack :)
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Sun Jan 14 00:56:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qao0k/oatmeal_hack/
---
If you have extra time, I found a way to make oatmeal with wayyyy more water but even thicker and more filling than you could imagine.
Soak *rolled* oats in liquid of your choice, 1 part oats to 3 parts liquid overnight in the fridge (I’ve left it untouched for 3 days at this point and it’s just as good, haven’t tested longer though).
Next day, cook the oats until they boil for a few minutes and thicken. They’re nice and thick at this point, and not only have you added more water than you could add to instant oats for the same texture, but they’re also heartier and and easier to digest since you’ve soaked the oats.
Even better, make a large batch and let the rest chill in your fridge overnight. And whaddaya know, the oats are now almost twice as thick. Reheat and add your liquid to your hearts desire.
It’s awesome.
Another tip: use a liquid with a lot of protein (like milk) or stir in whey after you heat it, and you’ll be full for ages.
Benefits:
-Oats are very filling and satiating
-they contain prebiotic fiber, which is the food that the healthy probiotics in your Gut feed on. This healthy bacteria that supports you being all lean and healthy. Prebiotic foods are GREAT
[Other] Who else can almost taste or smell an exact meal when fasting?
/u/ntagasf15685
Created: Sat Jan 13 23:18:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qaanl/who_else_can_almost_taste_or_smell_an_exact_meal/
---
Doing the coconut oil fast. I fucking smell mac and cheese right now. I could swear it's right in front of me😩
[Discussion] DAE throw away alot of food?
/u/FedoraTipper15
Created: Sat Jan 13 22:52:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qa6ed/dae_throw_away_alot_of_food/
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I live with my family and my mom frequently makes high calorie foods drenched in oil like fried chicken, and also bakes alot. As a result I've started to throw away all the leftovers so I don't feel tempted, and no one has noticed so I'll keep doing it. I think this is for the best though because my dad is near obese and its because of his late night fridge raids, but he hasn't lost weight.
[Rant/Rave] I ate an entire head of cabbage because ED makes me do stupid things.
/u/hanabira [5"1 🌼 120 🌼 100 🌼 22F]
Created: Sat Jan 13 22:24:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7qa1yk/i_ate_an_entire_head_of_cabbage_because_ed_makes/
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I don’t even like cabbage.
But the entire head was 175kcal and I only had 200kcal left after eating some coconut oil baked sweet potatoes (my weakness) and I was so fucking hungry after restricting all week.
I’m feeling so uncomfortably full and disgusting but at least I’m still undereating by half of my “daily” calories. Eating 1200 is unnecessary when you can feel stuffed by eating an ENTIRE FUCKING head of cabbage amirite
tfw #JustEDThings 🙄
[Discussion] Safe food exchange: What's your top five safe/unsafe??
/u/tahiniii [68" | 145 | 22 | -5 | 24F]
Created: Sat Jan 13 21:06:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q9o1b/safe_food_exchange_whats_your_top_five_safeunsafe/
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I love these safe food threads because they give me ideas to add variety to mine! Feel like I'm always eating the same thing over and over...here is my list of what I feel most assured when eating and what I almost panic over from eating.
My safe ones are:
1. Sushi Chef white miso soup packets (45) are literally my life's blood.
2. Koyo brand packaged ramen (210) maybe with spinach, snow pea or arugula (230-250)
3. An entire avocado with salt / pepper (350ish)
4. Sliced tomato with salt and paprika (30ish)
5. Sauteed spinach with a fried egg on top (150-200 cal)
Bonus: Hot sauce to add to anything!!
Safe drinks: Coke Zero Vanilla ~ Spicy V8 ~ Dry white wine ~ Tequila on the rocks ~ Sparkling Water
My unsafe ones that I tend to binge on:
1. Anything with cheese, especially pasta or pizza!!
2. Having a loaf of bread anywhere near me
3. Milk chocolate, especially with nuts
4. French fries/potatoes in general
5. Whipped cream
My extremely unsafe drinks:
1. Starbucks anything
2. Margaritas/cosmopolitans or anything that sour mix might touch
3. Red wine, I feel like I always go home and eat something bad after I drink this.
4. Fruit juice is so addictive
5. Smoothies because they combine fruit juice and the possibility that ice cream will be in it
[Discussion] Lifting & energy
/u/setniessesed [5'11.5" | CW: send help GW: 140 | -8lbs | 22/F]
Created: Sat Jan 13 21:06:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q9nwh/lifting_energy/
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Does anyone here lift? I've been going to the gym for a while now doing weights (which has incidentally helped so much with the disorder but I'm having a hard time with the thoughts at the moment) - I've been restricting more heavily than I have in a long time, however my lifts are suffering.
Of course I'm maintaining the numbers, but even that is a struggle. Any tips for not losing all the muscle I worked hard to get while losing the fat?
Thanks!
[Other] It's lonely but it's safe
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'4"| 115 | 19.7 | meh | 26F]
Created: Sat Jan 13 20:57:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q9mgj/its_lonely_but_its_safe/
---
I don't need to deal with depression or anxiety or anything else as long as I'm losing weight right
[Discussion] Your kitchen has betrayed you—the ED tip-off edition
/u/theteaiscold
Created: Sat Jan 13 20:49:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q9l0s/your_kitchen_has_betrayed_youthe_ed_tipoff_edition/
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Things that normal people don’t have in their kitchens:
—a drawer for tea and broth (most people would keep broth near cooking stuff...oils, etc)
—put their snacks in cute jars but also save clippings w/ nutrition info *just in case* the internet is wrong
—leaving mean notes to yourself and forgetting about them later
Obviously the food scale and industrial pack of Coke Zero are suspicious too, but I’ve been cleaning/organizing my kitchen lately and am kinda surprised at all the more subtle signs...
[Discussion] What’s your ED ‘cheat’ or corner-cut?
/u/oneblueboot [5' 7.5" | CW 122 lbs | GW 112 | 18.8 | 26F]
Created: Sat Jan 13 20:30:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q9hda/whats_your_ed_cheat_or_cornercut/
---
Does anyone else have that one thing they let themselves be a little lazy with? I feel like being mired in this disease can make us so strict and regimented, and even though I think for a lot of us those self-imposed rules are coping mechanisms, it’s hard to be perfect all the time.
For me, it’s spices. I will weigh out my pickles, I will count the calories in my sugar-free gum, I will count Splenda, I will measure spinach to the nearest gram, I will pick the 170 calorie Quest bar over the 180 calorie one. But I will never bother to calculate the calories in my spices. I use a lot of chili powder, cumin, onion powder, garlic powder and cayenne in my cooking and I have never included any of it in my calorie totals. I’m sure it all adds something, but I’d much rather underestimate the calories I burn during exercise by 30% and assume it all evens out.
[Rant/Rave] constantly hitting new lows
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 13 19:06:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q91q2/constantly_hitting_new_lows/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Does anyone here take Latuda?
/u/syddawg104
Created: Sat Jan 13 18:59:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q90cn/does_anyone_here_take_latuda/
---
Probably the most frustrating thing about having bipolar disorder isn’t the crazy mood swings, it’s being forced to eat 400 calories at night just so I can take my damn medicine. Can anyone relate??
[Discussion] Uhhh, that moment when you finish a huge purge and then you remember you took your BC not too long before eating... just me?
/u/Hiiir
Created: Sat Jan 13 18:16:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q8rv3/uhhh_that_moment_when_you_finish_a_huge_purge_and/
---
Like shit?? Was it already absorbed?? Do I need to take another one?? But then I'll be off by 1 pill from my schedule? Oh man lol. Why have I not just got myself a nuva ring or something
[Rant/Rave] [rant/rave] WHY DO I HAVE NO SELF CONTROL
/u/mynormalheart [5' 3" | CW: Landwhale -18lb | GW: 137 | UGW: 115| 25F]
Created: Sat Jan 13 18:10:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q8qo6/rantrave_why_do_i_have_no_self_control/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Relapsing, TW :(
/u/maxmydogmydogmax
Created: Sat Jan 13 18:01:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q8omu/relapsing_tw/
---
I'm new to this subreddit. I just need -- to complain. I feel like I'm in a downward spiral.
I've been in "recovery" for maybe two years now. I was still bordering being underweight.
Long story short, I am now 20 and recently divorced. Yikes, I know. I have also cut contact with almost all my family (except my dad who I have pretty weak relationship with anyway) and have moved state.
I moved in with my two best friends and they feed me so much. I also work as a preschool teacher so I have to eat with my kiddos. ("Family Style" meals.)
Speaking of work, I also have to take pictures and upload them online for the parents every day. My assistant usually takes the photos and regularly takes me in them as well. (For example, I was helping the kids play violin and ended up in the photos.) Photos and mirrors are a huge trigger for me. I have my mirror in my bathroom covered in paper. Seeing myself this regularly in photos makes me want to die. But what can I Do? Seem crazy to my coworkers?
Lastly, I was talking to my dad and mentioned how I feel like I've gained weight. He said I have gained weight -- but it was good because I look healthier. This was the straw that broke the camel's back.
I've been restricting hard all week. I feel anxious if I eat over 500 calories. My room mates took me out tonight and we got sushi. I purged all I could when I got home and now I'm back at the gym trying to get rid of the rest.
I can't have my best friend find out. If he sees what I'm doing he'll probably leave me indefinitely. He has been there when I was cutting and drinking excessively. I can't let him see me purging or fasting. But I don't want to stop now. I feel so disgusted. I am literally repulsed by my very being. He will be so disappointed in me.
I feel like I'm regressing. Like I'll never be a healthy, well adjusted adult. I don't see a future for myself at all.
Anyways. Sorry for the buzzkill. I just need to rant, I guess.
🙁
[Help] Help!! Finishing a water fast and need to trick my brain into NOT going into binge mode :/
/u/tinyme23 [5'3" | 127 | -45 lbs | F | 🍑: @lemonie]
Created: Sat Jan 13 17:33:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q8ivx/help_finishing_a_water_fast_and_need_to_trick_my/
---
Hey guys,
So I'm on hour 215 of a water fast (I've had tea and vitamin water zero, but nothing caloric) and I'm looking into stopping sometime soon since I have a job that's so important to me and I can't lose it.
I need to trick my brain into not going into "fuck it I'm eating so I might as well binge" mode. I have dialectic affirmations to practice like "you can be maintaining and not restricting so heavily right now AND still be accomplishing your goals more than if you binged" and "you can eat but you don't have to eat everything."
How do you guys come off an extended water fast? I want to be able to take in some calories just to keep my health at a reasonable level that I can a) work and b) fast again in the near future. I am MISERABLE when I am bingeing/gaining, and make stupid decisions that fuck with my life and stability. I'm terrified I am going to fuck up with my black-and-white brain. Any tips? I feel like a really strong strategy for refeed is the only way I can guarantee my success.
[Rant/Rave] mini meltdown
/u/PlanetArkanis [5'8'' | CW ☹ | -52.2lbs | F22]
Created: Sat Jan 13 17:25:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q8gz2/mini_meltdown/
---
Hey there! I've been lurking this sub for a while (and commented on, like, two posts), but I just needed to vent about something that happened to me earlier because U G H.
I'd decided this morning that I was going to try my best to ignore calories today and just eat what I wanted without stressing (because that always works out, right? Never mind that all I've managed to eat today was some low cal toast with Earth Balance, and a slightly sweetened coffee.)
So, I was in the kitchen boiling water for pasta and had a package of spaghetti out that an old roommate left behind that he said we could use. Then, Roommate #2 tells me that Roommate #4 (new roommate) was actually going to use that spaghetti to make all of us dinner tonight. I had boiling water all ready to go, and nobody thought to tell me that earlier? I was going to look like the fat asshole who used all the spaghetti that was supposed to be for a dinner nobody mentioned???
I have no idea why, but this really got to me. So, naturally, I just holed myself up in my room and cried over it. Because that's normal and sensible.
Now, I don't even want to eat. I just want to stay in my room and feel sad because, as shitty as it is, I don't want to eat something I didn't prepare. And it's like, because I'm not going to eat what I wanted to eat specifically, suddenly I just can't eat anything at all?? It feels so stupid, and I feel so stupid for being like this.
[Tip] Anyone found going vegan actually helped their disordered habits?
/u/325896471
Created: Sat Jan 13 17:16:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q8ez2/anyone_found_going_vegan_actually_helped_their/
---
Very recently went from vegetarian to vegan and I feel great. I was reluctant because I thought the restrictions would be harmful but actually the opposite.
* I turned my obsessive personality from finding low cal food to finding vegan food
* I have less guilt about what I'm eating
* I can't binge on my usual foods and hence haven't binged in 2 weeks
* I feel (mentally) like I'm healthier(probably not true I ate pasta like 3 nights in a row lol).
Lmao i realize this sounds like an ad now but it worked for me. Anyone in the same boat?
[Rant/Rave] Are these myths actually true?
/u/senpai_no_oppai_da [Height: 170cm | 25F | CW: 🐖💨]
Created: Sat Jan 13 17:02:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q8c0h/are_these_myths_actually_true/
---
I heard that it’s normal to have three, *THREE* meals a day!
They even say you can have a snack in between them if you want. 😱
Also, I’m told you don’t need to continue eating when you’re full! *WUT?! Can’t I just throw up after?*
Finally, I don’t know if this is true, some people don’t think about food, or calories, or diet plans all the time!
—-
I’m surprised normal people are not overweight! Binging, purging, restricting, fasting for days, skipping social events with family and friends because I’ve gone over my 300 a day calorie limit, compulsive thinking about food ALL the time, obsessing about that brownie I already threw in the bin!
Aren’t these the norm?
[Rant/Rave] I want to purge
/u/kaelidoscope
Created: Sat Jan 13 16:37:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q86l3/i_want_to_purge/
---
The only times I've puked before has been drunk throwing up or having a stomach bug. Realistically I know that purging is bad for my body more so than simply starving but I feel disgusting after binging for the past couple of days. Nothing too crazy, less than 2000 calories per day but my body has become so used to feeling light and empty that I feel like I'm going to burst. I feel awful and to make myself feel better I've been eating more, it's a terrible cycle.
The only thing stopping me from purging is the fact that I don't want to fuck up my teeth since I used to have braces and shit's expensive yo. Plus my dentist told me I have strong teeth and I don't want to disappoint him.
[Rant/Rave] I hate my brain and just really need to vent
/u/omgbewbs [5'6"| CW: landwhale | GW: pretty| 27F]
Created: Sat Jan 13 15:27:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q7r5r/i_hate_my_brain_and_just_really_need_to_vent/
---
I was doing so well this week, and I felt great. I felt completely put together, in control, and badass. I stuck to my workout schedule, kicked ass at work, was eating like a normal person, and had the house looking perfect. And then yesterday the switch just flipped back to normal, crappy me. Yesterday was basically one long binge which has continued into today. I feel awful, and I tried so hard to throw up last night, but couldn't, so I took lax instead, which are just giving me stomach cramps today. I'm supposed to go for a run today, but I feel like crap and am terrified the lax will kick in and I'll shit myself during my run. I hate this so much. I had like 3 full days of being happy, and I want it back, but my stupid fucked up brain won't let me.
Also, my boyfriend is gone for the weekend, so I have the house to myself. All my friends are gone on a mountain cabin getaway together. I didn't go because my cat was recently diagnosed with advanced cancer, and I didn't want to stress him by leaving him with a sitter. So I'm alone this weekend, and that makes this so much harder to pull out of.
[Help] Help with recovery
/u/YaBoiTKilla
Created: Sat Jan 13 15:18:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q7pb2/help_with_recovery/
---
I’ve recently been trying to self-recover myself from what I believe to be anorexia. I am currently 5’10, 103 lbs, male and would like to know an estimate of how many calories I should be consuming daily to put some weight back on in a safe manner. Thanks!
[Rant/Rave] I just did a really hard thing and made an appointment with the dietician who worked at my old treatment center. I’m panicking about it and I just need someone to tell me they’re proud of me.
/u/sorenkierkegels
Created: Sat Jan 13 15:03:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q7lr0/i_just_did_a_really_hard_thing_and_made_an/
---
Edit: Thanks for all the kind words. I really needed that.
[Discussion] January 11th and 12th Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 13 13:58:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q76v4/january_11th_and_12th_question_of_the_day/
---
11th: what’s your favorite accessory?
12th: where would you like to travel next?
[Discussion] what to you guys eat before drinking (while restricting)?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: underweight | 22f]
Created: Sat Jan 13 13:36:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q71n0/what_to_you_guys_eat_before_drinking_while/
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drinking on an empty stomach has fucked me over too many times and i'm going out tonight. i was thinking of eating a 170 calorie protein bar in the afternoon and calling it good. any other filling but relatively low calorie snacks/meals you guys eat before going out?
(i'm trying to ditch a possible reputation as the waifish goth-y girl who always get really drunk off like 4 vodka diet sodas)
[Discussion] DAE desperately want to be pretty but their skin is terrible
/u/madlad420supercrazy
Created: Sat Jan 13 13:15:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q6wnr/dae_desperately_want_to_be_pretty_but_their_skin/
---
I think I'm having a small mental breakdown..? Just comfort me with your sob stories of how you, too, want to be beautiful but your body is garbage. Thankquuu!
[Rant/Rave] [rant/rave] WHY can't I get my fucking shit together?!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 13 12:54:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q6rpd/rantrave_why_cant_i_get_my_fucking_shit_together/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Compliments?
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 56.9 kg | -26.6 kg | 22F]
Created: Sat Jan 13 12:44:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q6pas/compliments/
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So I think we can all agree that we live off of compliments right? Of course, the good ones, the subtle ones...those that make us feel good.
But recently I get those that aren't really compliments. These days the times I get told that I really shouldn't lose more weight are piling up.
What do people try to achieve by saying that? All they do is give me more reason to not talk to them. I couldn't possibly tell them 'yeah!' when they ask 'isn't that enough already?'. I mean I'm 57/58kg with a hight of 164cm, I'm at the middle of a healthy BMI of course there's still room to lose more! Can't they just let my do my stuff?
Sometimes I'm really fed up.
My ED makes me extraordinarily competitive and I hate it
/u/thinismygame [5'6.5" | 125 | 22F | 🍑: kateee]
Created: Sat Jan 13 12:09:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q6go5/my_ed_makes_me_extraordinarily_competitive_and_i/
---
I'm so competitive with the normies trying to lose weight. I think it's a mixture of jealousy (wow they can lose weight without an ED? unfair!) and a straight up desire to be the thinnest. I get sick pleasure watching people gain weight while I get smaller. My friend from HS gained weight and is now constantly posting about eating healthy and going to the gym everyday.
I feel so bad that I'm like this. Especially so now that I've gained 5lbs from holiday eating/finals stress binges. It makes me feel bad because I should NOT be feeling like this.
I hate what this ED does to me sometimes.
Wretched
/u/PermanentHysteria
Created: Sat Jan 13 12:05:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q6fp0/wretched/
---
I fasted yesterday and was planning to go the whole weekend to punish myself/ celebrate new year new me. Then I went to a funeral today and met with a bunch of old friends who wanted to go to lunch after. The thing is, I currently have zero appetite and am depressed from the funeral. But, the guy who died was so full of life that fasting seems rude?
I don't even know what I'm trying to say.
[Rant/Rave] I don’t know what to do
/u/maybethisistherealme
Created: Sat Jan 13 12:05:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q6fmr/i_dont_know_what_to_do/
---
Sorry if this is somehow confusing I just want to rant.
I really thought my life is getting better. And I really wanted to get better. About two years ago I decided to try to recover. I hated how my hair was getting thinner, I was cold all the time and I somehow thought my life would get better as soon as my ed was gone. I thought maybe I would even be able to find friends and have a normal life. In retrospective these are kinda stupid reasons. I started eating again, gained 15 kg and Nothing changed. Well, I’m not as lonely as I used to be but I still don’t have any friends or something like that. And on top of that I’m just stressed because of school. I finish school in summer 2019 and I have no plans what I’m going to do next.
My life is a mess and I’ve got no one to talk to. I know it’s not healthy to “forget” eating and to count calories (and eat under 1000). I know I fall back to old habits.
And honestly I don’t really care. I’m not underweight and I’m not going to die anytime soon so why should I focus on getting better if it won’t change anything. And nobody cares about me anyway.
[Help] Natural laxatives that are not 'drinking tons of water' please?
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 133.8 | BMI: 26 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26F]
Created: Sat Jan 13 11:49:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q6bom/natural_laxatives_that_are_not_drinking_tons_of/
---
I haven't had a BM in 4 days. I have stayed super hydrated, tried coffee, and I don't want to buy laxatives. What are some tricks that have worked for you guys?
[Goal] Mini Goal!
/u/bannaberry
Created: Sat Jan 13 11:46:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q6avg/mini_goal/
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Finally made it into the 150's.
And even if it's bordering, I'm so happy.
159.4lbs as of this morning.
Next goal 140's! 🎉
[Help] EC stack and alcohol
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Sat Jan 13 11:19:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q64hl/ec_stack_and_alcohol/
---
So I know it’s not smart but I am curious if anyone else mixes EC stacks with alcohol.
I drink a lot during the week and that’s when I fuck up and end up eating, so I want to back able to take a stack around the time I drink so I can continue my fast.
Anyone have experiences with this?
[Help] Distractions for hunger
/u/giraffle9
Created: Sat Jan 13 10:39:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q5uot/distractions_for_hunger/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] How much caffeine do you have in a day
/u/Canadascutestginger
Created: Sat Jan 13 10:37:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q5u97/how_much_caffeine_do_you_have_in_a_day/
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I usually have 4-6 cups of coffee, 1-2 cups of caffeinated tea and up to 2-3 Liters of Diet Coke.
How much caffeine do you drink and what do you drink?
[Discussion] Scared to weigh myself tomorrow
/u/LittleCritterCR [5'2.5'' | 23F | GW: 115]
Created: Sat Jan 13 10:28:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q5s69/scared_to_weigh_myself_tomorrow/
---
I’ve been pretty good about not overeating lately, I think. I haven’t weighed myself in a while and I’m afraid to do it.
Anyone else feel this way?
[Rant/Rave] tired of this
/u/bombay- [5'9 | CW 160 | GW1 130 | 23.6 | 16F]
Created: Sat Jan 13 10:19:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q5pxn/tired_of_this/
---
honestly h o w do people lose weight and restrict without going into a horrible binge cycle and gaining everything back? i see people who can restrict without binging as much and i feel like such a failure. even with the purging, i can't seem to lose a pound without gaining 3 back. the lowest weight i've been was 156, and that was THREE YEARS AGO. i'm too terrified to weigh myself now but i wouldn't be surprised if i was in the 170 range. i always say that i'm going to stick to a plan and restrict but i can't stop binging. my life is a cycle of "i'll be skinny for this event." i know i say this all the time, but i'm actually going to lose weight before summer. i just desperately want to not be a failure for once in my life.
[Discussion] Does anyone else do little things to burn more calories throughout the day?
/u/throwaway254411
Created: Sat Jan 13 10:18:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q5pr2/does_anyone_else_do_little_things_to_burn_more/
---
For example I do 15 squats every time I enter the bathroom, bicep curls with dumbbells when I'm bored, leave stuff in other rooms so I'll have to go in that room again and burn more calories, well you get the idea
Spent money too not have to spend money
/u/Chuchus
Created: Sat Jan 13 09:50:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q5j5l/spent_money_too_not_have_to_spend_money/
---
[removed]
[Other] Awesome anorexic youtuber
/u/Canadascutestginger
Created: Sat Jan 13 09:47:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q5ilx/awesome_anorexic_youtuber/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Disgusted by myself and over it
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 13 09:47:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q5id1/disgusted_by_myself_and_over_it/
---
[deleted]
[Help] How many calories do you think this video burns?
/u/WetIlliterate
Created: Sat Jan 13 09:31:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q5era/how_many_calories_do_you_think_this_video_burns/
---
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_Zem0_qsDg0
I know it says 500 calories but I just highly doubt that. I did the whole thing and I'm about 5'8" and weigh 135ish... how many calories would you estimate? I'm thinking like at least 250 but need some reassurance.
[Discussion] DAE find themselves in this mindset—?
/u/bmddx
Created: Sat Jan 13 08:33:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q52pw/dae_find_themselves_in_this_mindset/
---
where you want to go shopping to celebrate the fact that you're getting smaller but also know that you're not small /enough/ to try clothes on without having a breakdown from hell?
[Rant/Rave] Wtf, Facebook
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | CW: 120 | GW: small | F]
Created: Sat Jan 13 08:32:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q52ig/wtf_facebook/
---
https://imgur.com/a/qwIe0
[Discussion] I find it easier to fast when I have an apple next to me; a discussion on odd techniques.
/u/IttyBittyBatty [5'5" | CW 😱 | -24.4lbs]
Created: Sat Jan 13 08:17:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q4zly/i_find_it_easier_to_fast_when_i_have_an_apple/
---
Hello lovelies! It's been a while since I've posted anything here, but I've been lurking around. (Always watching 👀) I just haven't been up to human interaction until now. Xmas depression is real, y'all. I hope the holidays weren't too cruel to any of you. 💜
So, like the title says, having an apple or mandarin orange (my top safe foods, btw) on my computer table or wherever I am when I'm getting deep into my fast really helps me avoid binging.
I'm not entirely sure why, but my theory is this: I can see I have safe food right there if I can't stand it anymore and **need** to eat, so don't need to obsess over what I *could* eat. If the craving get bad I can look at my apple and tell myself, "Ok me, we are hungry. That's a thing that is happening. Let's just finish this chapter/play one more game/watch another video and then I'll have my apple/orange." More often than not the craving will have passed enough by the time whatever is done that I can push off hunger for a few more hours.
Are there any odd things you find yourself doing when your fasting? How well do they work for you?
[Help] How to deal with fucking hating recovery?
/u/miracleunicat [5'6 | CW: 109 | GW: 85]
Created: Sat Jan 13 08:11:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q4ycb/how_to_deal_with_fucking_hating_recovery/
---
I was forces into recovery by my parents, first into PHP but then they thought it wasn't working fast enough so they pulled me out. Now we are doing a weekly family session with a therapist and a session every other week by myself. I an miserable. Turns out that my eating disorder was my only coping skill for anxiety and depression. And, the thing is, physically, I was/ am NOT THAT BAD. Like my EKG was normal and most of my blood work was fine except anemia. I don't have an extremely low body weight either. I wish that they had just left me in PHP because at least then I wouldn't have them telling me not to be stupid when I cry. How did you guys deal with being forced into recovery? Has anyone had a similar experience with being pulled out of a structured treatment?
[Rant/Rave] I know I’m not the only one to reach a new low and feel nothing but depression...
/u/Whisper_silence [5'2" | 113.3 | 21(Fitbit) |-21.5 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 13 07:57:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q4vig/i_know_im_not_the_only_one_to_reach_a_new_low_and/
---
[removed]
[Help] No money + No time = ED Fuel
/u/oniichandayo
Created: Sat Jan 13 07:44:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q4ta7/no_money_no_time_ed_fuel/
---
During the time I hardly ate, I had extra money in my pocket and had the freedom to buy clothes and leisure stuff. Fun times, happy days. I mean, lunch and dinner aren't exactly cheap, and it felt good to look nice in the clothes that I bought.
Had a lot more time to pursue my hobbies and study too when I'm not: 1. Cooking 2. Eating 3. Going to and from restaurants. That's around 2 or more hours a day.
Tried to eat normally and found a lot of lost time and money. My mother lectures me every time my school sends a bill in as well since we aren't exactly well off. If that isn't perfect motivation to not eat and save up, I don't know what is.
How does everyone out there handle being broke and busy as a result of actually eating?
[Discussion] Residential treatment
/u/tietack2
Created: Sat Jan 13 06:46:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q4inx/residential_treatment/
---
Hi all,
I hope that this is okay to post.
I'm in my late 30s and had a diagnosable ed since I was 11. Things kicked off with anorexia then veered into a mix of fasting, overeating and purging, and extreme exercise.
To give you some idea of my home life, my mom had an ed and taught me how to purge when I was 10. She also forced me to take diet pills and exercise... A lot. I used to get daily weigh ins and get beaten if the number was bad. And weight watchers at age 8 (especially when I wasn't even fat!)
I managed to keep it somewhat under control until I almost failed out of college. The school counseling section recommended that I get an eval at Renfrew. Renfrew recommended php. My parents wouldn't pay (insurance only covered 80%). So that was that. I dhdnt have the money.
At any rate, my weight and ed symptoms have fluctuated a lot. Right now I'm the largest I've ever been but also in worst shape due to another unrelated health issue that is causing a lot of havoc (autoimmune). I've worked full time the last ten years or so and used my insurance and pto to do iop at Renfrew and another place. I relapsed in part because they wanted me in php or even resi but I couldn't afford it.
Anyway I see a dietician and counselor and I've been in this downward spiral since last April where I'm purging all the time and overexercising. It's impacting my health, my job, and I can't pull myself out. I have before, I just can't now. I work a very stressful job, I commute about 25 hrs/wk and it's all just that, gym, errands and bed. And ed. Exhausted all the time, gunning coffee, constantly rushing.
My counselor said Castlewood or a similar place could help. She thinks I have trauma (abusive upbringing etc) and if I can do that with the ed treatment, I might have a, better shot. I finally have ok insurance, cash put aside and paid time off, and I can get fmla. It feels like this might really be it.
Ive been sick for over 25 years and it's no party. It used to be so easy, now it's not helping me. Hope nobody is offended by me posting this, I just want things to be a little better.
Has anyone done this, especially as an older adult who is overweight or obese? Am I crazy to think I could get just a little better?
[Help] Has anyone been on Lexapro? Did it affect your weight at all?
/u/pedaling-backwards [5’2 ❄️ | CW: 106 | GW: 95]
Created: Sat Jan 13 06:34:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q4gs7/has_anyone_been_on_lexapro_did_it_affect_your/
---
I’ve been on Wellbutrin for 6 months now, and I do think it’s making my anxiety worse — but everytime I even miss a *day* of it, my binging becomes insanely bad. Like, pouring soap on food and then eating it anyways, ravenous-out-of-my-mind bad. So, I’m staying on it for now.
I’ve been on Prozac and it made me feel like a zombie. I tried Zoloft for a couple weeks and gave up because it made me absolutely exhausted.
I was just prescribed Lexapro, and am afraid of weight gain side effects. 99% of my binges are anxiety-related, so my HOPE is that the Lexapro will diminish the anxiety and therefore reduce the binges.
I’ve been taking it for two days now and have had a massive migraine since starting it, I don’t know if that’s common. If you’ve been on it, what was your experience like with Lexapro? How did it affect your weight?
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! January 13, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jan 13 05:11:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q4557/stupid_questions_saturday_january_13_2018/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for January 13, 2018.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! January 13, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jan 13 05:09:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q44ya/daily_food_diary_january_13_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 13, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Help] From binging to restricting? Stuck in a cycle
/u/Thenomadicprincess
Created: Sat Jan 13 03:58:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q3vq2/from_binging_to_restricting_stuck_in_a_cycle/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I just binged and tried to purge for the first time in weeks
/u/LLazarus732
Created: Sat Jan 13 01:54:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q3gs5/i_just_binged_and_tried_to_purge_for_the_first/
---
I feel so disgusting. I just had a massive binge because I’ve been drinking and tried to purge but it wouldn’t work. Why does drinking do this to me??
I feel repulsive and humongous and like a massive failure. I’ve even been trying to be in recovery and hadn’t done this shit in weeks, I was even down 5 pounds.
I guess I’m just venting and I don’t know who else to talk to about it. I need to get back to restriction, I miss feeling in control.
[Discussion] Your fantasy 'cheat' day?
/u/dearisabella [5'2" | CW: 115 | GW: 100 | 21F]
Created: Sat Jan 13 01:42:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q3ff8/your_fantasy_cheat_day/
---
I'm watching [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1N0nB98MhI) (warning: possible binge trigger?) about a girl eating through her fantasy cheat day. Cheat days are more common in the fitness community than on here -- I suppose we just call them binges and they are not really encouraged haha. What would you eat if you could eat anything and everything you wanted for a day?
Edit: her [10,000 calories a day challenge](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPI5cuq3NPU) is also quite the spectacle, if you're interested
Minnie Maud is a scam and dangerous
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 13 00:58:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q39w1/minnie_maud_is_a_scam_and_dangerous/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Posted a body picture... Wtf.
/u/I_donut_carrot_all [5'6| 85 | 13.71 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 12 23:48:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q30cj/posted_a_body_picture_wtf/
---
So I made a imgur account & posted a body picture and within - 17-fucking minutes it had over 700 views and upwards of 50+ comments, mostly in concern but some very very awful shit that makes me want to vom. Does this page (the body thread) get that much traffic?! It took me all day to talk myself into uploading it and argh I'm humiliated now. Thankfully I had half a brain to crop my face out lolz
Edit: someone talk me out of binging on cheese cake
[Discussion] Mentalities
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 12 23:46:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q3065/mentalities/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] This subreddit is fantastic
/u/SvelteDreams [5'5" | CW 121.4lbs | GW 103lbs | 21F]
Created: Fri Jan 12 22:59:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q2t01/this_subreddit_is_fantastic/
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I post to other subreddits and they just don't get it. But you guys do. Not just the ED stuff but there is real love and support in this community and I just wanna say how thankful I am for every single one of you. I know there's a post like this every 24 hours on this sub, but it honestly deserves to have one all the time because it's the most supportive community I have experienced. Love to all of you <3
[Rant/Rave] Unintentionally purged today?
/u/queenofflavortown [5'0"|CW 155lbs|HW 175|GW 120|F]
Created: Fri Jan 12 22:36:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q2peo/unintentionally_purged_today/
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So for background, I've never really purged before. I'm more of a binge/slightly restrict kinda gal. But this week I've been sick and eating basically only larabars and popsicles (man has it felt good) and today, I hit a new low weigh in (the lowest I've been since I was 15!! I'm sooo freaking close to the 140s, I can TASTE IT)...so of course I decided to blow it with a pizza lol.
I haven't had a pizza to myself in over a month. I've honestly tried to do better this year, but I had the whole thing today (like I used to) and my body decided to say "fuck this noise" and threw half up. I guess I should be happy my body is getting rid of junk it doesn't need?
Idk what the point of this post is, I think I'm just a little toasted and wanted to share a stupid random story idk lol hope y'alls Friday night is going fab!
[Help] Worried about fainting at school
/u/BreakdownShakedown [5'2" | CW: 129.6 | SW: 147.7 | GW: 120 | UGW: 110 | 24F]
Created: Fri Jan 12 22:34:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q2p29/worried_about_fainting_at_school/
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Start school for auto mechanic trade next Tuesday. Basic shop class is Tuesday, but actually learning about and probably working with tools and heavy bikes means I’m pretty damn worried. I guess I’ll have to eat at least something before class? I mean, I’m already more than likely going to be the only woman in the program, I don’t need to be the fainting damsel in distress as well.
Any advice guys?
Side note: my mom recently said she was worried I was losing too much weight. Someone finally fucking noticed and I didn’t feel as good as I thought I would. If she only knew I was planning on at least getting down to 110. She’s flip shit for sure and maybe that’d make me feel good, who knows. This disorder is super fucked yo.
[Discussion] I’m not a big fan of most of my body, but I took this picture of my legs the other day that gave me a sense of pride. Don’t have anyone else to share it with but y’all. 💖
/u/confusedLPN
Created: Fri Jan 12 22:20:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q2mta/im_not_a_big_fan_of_most_of_my_body_but_i_took/
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https://i.redd.it/p4pk2kl2sr901.jpg
[Help] when lying isn't enough anymore
/u/100016 [152cm|gw:35kg|cw:38kg|nb]
Created: Fri Jan 12 22:17:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q2ma7/when_lying_isnt_enough_anymore/
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so i might have to come out to health professionals about the fact that i have an eating disorder and itll blow all over. it's closing in on me and eventually i won't be able to lie anymore either because the lies won't suffice or because i will be tired of them. thing is, i'm not quite ready. i like how things are going, finally; by the end of last year i finally got the hang of fasting and finally hit 35kg. i was so proud. but now i will be put into a room with a nutrologist and the fuck do i tell them? "hey i love eating its my hobby :)" ???? i don't know.
i already have too much to deal with. i have bpd, so the ed is kinda like the side dish (literally, bc i dont look like i have one) and it'll make things so much worse. i just hate this. idk, what do yall reckon? any tips? should i keep lying, should i come clean to the docs? i'd very much appreciate any help.
[Rant/Rave] I never do the right bloody thing
/u/lIdlV [5'5" | 120 | 20.0 | 28 F]
Created: Fri Jan 12 22:08:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q2kti/i_never_do_the_right_bloody_thing/
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If I were a fictional character I would be so fed up by my life choices. I would have quit paying attention to this predictable, perpetual train wreck. Long-ass, drawn-out, pathetic wreck that's me. Gosh, sorry for being such a downer right off!
But honestly, swear to god, i never do anything right.
I feel like I'm watching myself make bad decisions over and over and over again. I feel like I'm powerless to stop. Sometimes, I know in the moment I'm making a mistake and plow ahead anyway, its like a sick urge. But mostly in the moment I don’t realize my bad choice will have repercussions down the line! Blind, I am, thoughtless. Dumb.
This evening I was supposed to go to one o my support groups but instead I decided to disassemble my radio alarm clock to see if I could fix the broken backlight. Why??
Why? Hah. My subconscious knows why. Subconscious, that saboteur!
Every day I'm presented with a good path and a bad/relapse path, and it seems like every day I follow the bad/relapse path. And as likely as not, I'll do it again tomorrow.
I don't know what I want! I want to cease to exist and I don't want to die. I want to keep healthy and I don't want to eat. I want to withdraw and I don't want to give up ground. I want to be loved and I don't deserve love. I want to rant and rave and I don't know the point.
Please, please. . .
all I want is to be good :(
[Other] Nicole Richie is my idol, that is all 💜
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Fri Jan 12 21:50:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q2hi1/nicole_richie_is_my_idol_that_is_all/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Why does being female come with a price
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 12 21:18:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q2bry/why_does_being_female_come_with_a_price/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I did something I don’t usually do.
/u/sammy55554
Created: Fri Jan 12 20:32:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q231v/i_did_something_i_dont_usually_do/
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[removed]
[Other] Purged for the first time.
/u/Elope
Created: Fri Jan 12 20:28:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q22g9/purged_for_the_first_time/
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I always thought that I couldn't do it.
Like, I've tried. God knows I've tried. But I was trawling through a proana forum after my latest attempt, and a particular little tip stood out out to me. I won't share it, obviously. Though I suspect it's no great secret.
I don't know how to feel. I feel a bit "high", to be honest. I've been going through a fucking awful binge phase for months, so this feels like something to celebrate. It was hard, and painful, but when I actually managed it? I did it until I thought I felt empty. I feel a bit full now actually (still) but that's okay. I did it in the street outside my apartment. People probably saw me.
I also cut myself for the first time tonight. I walked home, pastries in hand, thinking "I'll cut myself and then purge". Well, I succeeded in both endeavours. I don't want my teeth to rot, or my cheeks to bloat, or for people to see scars. But I want binging to leave me alone, or at least change so that it won't make me fat. That's all I want.
I'm getting worse, to be honest. Anyone else?
[Rant/Rave] Trying so hard to purge, but I can't do it
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 12 20:13:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q1zml/trying_so_hard_to_purge_but_i_cant_do_it/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Binging on healthy food?
/u/renewtheplaintiff [5'2 | cw: 101 | gw: 90 | F23]
Created: Fri Jan 12 19:42:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q1tp4/binging_on_healthy_food/
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It's 9:42pm where I live, I had about 900cals today (busy day at Uni meant I need to not faint), and now I'm having my nightime urge-to-snack phase. So I just gobbled up an entire celery. Not just one stalk, but the entire thing. Dipped it in peanut butter (god knows how much... 3 tbsp? 4tbsp?). My boyfriend keeps reassuring me that it's healthy, *it's fucking celery for cryin' out loud*, but this healthy-binging phenomenon has been happening for a few weeks now.
I used to binge on chocolate, but I have absolutely no craving for that anymore. Just celery and pickles. I guess I'm happy - but wtf? Does anyone else binge on vegetables?
[Rant/Rave] 77kg and still feel like a whale
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Fri Jan 12 18:53:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q1jta/77kg_and_still_feel_like_a_whale/
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[removed]
[Other] Forced recovery potentially avoided!!!
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW:142 |CW:120 |19.7 |GW:110 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 12 18:44:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q1i3n/forced_recovery_potentially_avoided/
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So I’ve been freaking out and mega restricting because I was supposed to be moving back home in a week. Basically I couldn’t really find another affordable place in my area, so I was just going to go home. Unfortunately, being home would mean that I’m forced to eat a lot more because my mom is pretty much onto me. I was so stressed about actually being made to eat, but today one of the apartment complexes I was looking at sent me an email saying they have a unit available!!!
I’m hoping that I’ll be able to get this place because I’m so used to living on my own and I’m definitely not ready to be eating normally. I’m 10IBS away from my first goal weight and if I get this place I know I will definitely be able to reach my goal! I’ve never had a panic attack before but I had one last week because I was thinking about the things I’d have to eat if I moved home. I just hope I can remain on my own and that I can get this place!
[Thinspo] GOALS
/u/xerox13ster [5'7" | 298.4 | Goal: 270 | 46.7 | 0 | F ]
Created: Fri Jan 12 17:44:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q15kv/goals/
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https://i.redd.it/z14wf8sseq901.png
[Tip] What are your best ways to stop a binge cycle?
/u/silverkel
Created: Fri Jan 12 17:23:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q10zs/what_are_your_best_ways_to_stop_a_binge_cycle/
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Please help, agghhh :(((
Thank you in advance <3 you're all "lovely" lol BUT ACTUALLY
[Rant/Rave] [rant/rave] PMS + restriction = RAGE MONSTER
/u/mynormalheart [5' 3" | CW: Landwhale -18lb | GW: 137 | UGW: 115| 25F]
Created: Fri Jan 12 17:10:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q0xrt/rantrave_pms_restriction_rage_monster/
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I've been restricting to around 700-750 the past 2-ish weeks to get back on track after the holidays. It hasn't been easy, but I've been managing and haven't been too unpleasant or hungry.
Then PMS hit and I have just been a monster, snapping at everyone and on the verge of crying at every little thing. It's so awful. I have horrible hunger pangs too and I just wanna eat everything in sight!! Plus I'm bloated and breaking out. Ughhhhh shit, please Lordy give me strength to make it through this next week! Lol
Feeling good!
/u/PlaTOESatlantis
Created: Fri Jan 12 17:03:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q0w86/feeling_good/
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On mobile and dont know how to flare! Sorry.
So this week has been very blah... though i had a few small victories, refusing takeout and choosing a smoothie at starbucks over my usual caramel latte.. but then my weekend plans fell through and i ate everything in the world.
I kind of made up for it by doing a work out and have set out my food for tomorrow and already logged it in my calorie app so i feel like i have to stick too it!! And im actually SUPER excited about the feeling i'll have after a week of 380cals a day.
The plus side to being alone this weekend, extra few days of doing what i want food wise and nobody to answer too ☺☺
[Rant/Rave] A Trans ED Problem
/u/thisbesveil [5'4.5" | CW 116.4lbs | GW 110lbs | Non-binary]
Created: Fri Jan 12 17:01:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q0vuy/a_trans_ed_problem/
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I'm AFAB (assigned female at birth) + non-binary, and I've been on a lowish dose of testosterone for about 7.5 months now. Overall, it has definitely been more beneficial than detrimental, but there's one thing that really pokes at my ED brain sometimes: the increased muscle mass.
Since I'm running on testosterone now, my body fat percentage has dropped, which is nice tbh. Buuuut my average weight (while not in a period of restriction) has gone up by ~3lbs. I mean, yeah, my shoulders are literally 3 inches broader and my arms have gone from limp spaghetti to al dente with comparatively minimal exertion, but those 3 pounds feel like a lot sometimes. Especially since the last time my average weight was around this zone, it had all been fat instead and it feels like failure in a way, however illogical that may be.
Also, my calves are bigger? Probably not to the extent where people would notice, but definitely enough for me to feel the difference when I wear the pair of boots I have that go up to just a bit below the knees.
Thanks for reading.
[Rant/Rave] 60-100 calories a day, wanting others input
/u/buffmuscleguy
Created: Fri Jan 12 16:37:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q0qei/60100_calories_a_day_wanting_others_input/
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[removed]
[Other] When Anorexics Grow Up - The New York Times
/u/waitupana [15M | 147cm (4'10)]
Created: Fri Jan 12 16:30:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q0oou/when_anorexics_grow_up_the_new_york_times/
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https://nyti.ms/2FqaQcB
[Rant/Rave] I feel so betrayed by my scale wtf
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 12 16:10:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q0k90/i_feel_so_betrayed_by_my_scale_wtf/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Personal recovery pro/con list because I'm stuck and frustrated
/u/zorbiz [5' 8" | 18.5 | 22F]
Created: Fri Jan 12 15:46:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q0ehj/personal_recovery_procon_list_because_im_stuck/
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**Pros**
* Saves my teeth
* More time and mental energy to spend on things I actually care about
* Eventually regain confidence, maybe?
* Ability to eat the things I miss
* Ability to enjoy meals with family and friends
* Saves money
**Cons**
* Weight gain
* *Too* much weigh gain
* It's scary and not easy
* It takes time and energy
* I look better when I'm thinner
* No more bingeing, eating as much as I want without fear of gaining (through purging)
I have spent over a year in this relapse, and things have only gotten more difficult. I pretend like I'm not sick. Very few people know how bad it's gotten. I have this delusion that I can stop at any time, but I spend all my waking hours thinking about food and weight. If I *could* stop, this "slip" wouldn't still be happening. I have to admit to myself that this is a legitimate relapse, and not just a phase I'll grow out of eventually.
Edit: formatting
[Rant/Rave] I hate purging, but also love it?
/u/spaceepixiee
Created: Fri Jan 12 15:38:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q0cno/i_hate_purging_but_also_love_it/
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I purged for 5 days in a row and I feel like shit. My skin is dull, I look like I haven’t slept in days, I have a runny nose, and my throat is burning from the stomach acid. It sucks! But at the same time, I feel like I’m finally gaining control.
Idk where I’m going with this—I just feel ugly and gross and fat and I needed to rant and also would love some support
[Help] Looked at my weight for the first time in years...
/u/MissOptimistic007
Created: Fri Jan 12 15:35:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q0bu7/looked_at_my_weight_for_the_first_time_in_years/
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Hey guys. I've been in recovery for about 5 years now and haven't weighed myself once! I'm very proud because looking at my weight has always been a trigger of mine and I decided that It was best for my recovery if I didn't know. Recently I got into a car accident and had to go to the hospital to treat burns I got from the airbags. The doctor said that I had to get weighed in case they needed to give me any medication. The weight wasn't in pounds so I figured it would be ok. About a month later I got an email from my doctor with my health summary on it with a BMI section. It said I was in the healthy range and then under It said my weight! In pounds!! I was shook. I'm about 20 pounds heavier than I have ever been or what I assumed I even was. I feel sick knowing the actual number now. Anybody have any tips on how to get over this feeling? I wish I never looked but now I can't unsee it.... :(
[Rant/Rave] Give me strength
/u/throwaway_cannotstay
Created: Fri Jan 12 15:18:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7q07u4/give_me_strength/
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[removed]
[Help] People who purge and exercise
/u/elaine4570
Created: Fri Jan 12 14:38:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pzxio/people_who_purge_and_exercise/
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Has anything bad ever happened to you? I know when one binges and purges a lot there is a risk of sudden heart attack. Would exercise increase this possibility? Sometimes I wake up in the morning before I workout and am so dizzy and it seriously worries me that I will pass out while working out. Please give me your thoughts or experiences.
[Other] Found a relevant song 🙃
/u/ruralfishingcat [5'5 | 122 | 20.5 | - 5 | 21 F]
Created: Fri Jan 12 13:58:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pznip/found_a_relevant_song/
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https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=26Yh3A6Lrgs
[Rant/Rave] Wth
/u/-Never_Mind- [5'2'' | 102 | 19.02 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 12 13:51:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pzltt/wth/
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I normally don't purge, but I have been tempted the last few weeks to start again since I can't seem to stop binging and gaining. I was so close to doing it last night, but I decided to wash my face instead. While I was drying my face my husband comes into the bathroom to ask me something and instead asks me why does it smell like puke?! I started internally freaking out, but just tried to laugh it off. I didn't actually do anything, but still, he's never said anything like that to me before. I'm still so freaked out about it, it's all my mind can think about right now.
[Rant/Rave] Wth
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 12 13:34:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pzhfu/wth/
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[deleted]
[Other] Guess who's back, back again
/u/sweettutu64 [5'3 | -51.4 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jan 12 13:13:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pzbyf/guess_whos_back_back_again/
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Hint: it's me. I got triggered last night after trying to recover (AKA I maintained and then gained 5 lbs) so I'm back after like three months. I tried. I'm still a fat fucking mess :)
[Thinspo] This idiot in r/ thinspo
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 12 12:50:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pz5z2/this_idiot_in_r_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/vatgj12dyo901.jpg
[Discussion] How many pounds per week do you average?
/u/AirmansGirl [5'5 | CW 128 | GW 111| 26F]
Created: Fri Jan 12 12:01:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pyt6p/how_many_pounds_per_week_do_you_average/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Freaking out at work
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 12 12:01:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pyt5r/freaking_out_at_work/
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[deleted]
[Help] ED Edition: What to feed a cold/fever?
/u/Strawberie [5'0 | CW: 88 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jan 12 11:55:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pyrkg/ed_edition_what_to_feed_a_coldfever/
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Hey guys, I need some help here.
Ever since yesterday I've been terribly sick and I really need to get better asap. Can anyone suggest me low-calorie foods to eat that can aid my recovery?
High calorie stuff like chicken noodle soup would just make me feel really bad about myself... ):
Help!
EDIT: Thanks for all the suggestions all! This is exactly why I love this subreddit, its like a family here. (':
[Rant/Rave] I hate how I think sometimes
/u/bonitahermosura
Created: Fri Jan 12 11:29:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pykgq/i_hate_how_i_think_sometimes/
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I’m sitting in my foreign language class and my friends started talking about losing weight. One of them started talking about how she barely eats once a day saying things like “oh I barely hit 1000 calories a day” and “if I ever pass even 2000 calories I’ll kill myself the next day” I feel so shitty because a normal person would probably be worried or think it was weird but it just made me annoyed? Like I hate that because of my stupid ED I’ve become so much more judgmental and it makes me feel like such a gross person even though I never tell anyone what I think. I couldn’t help but be so annoyed that I wasn’t the only one who was restricting. It sounds awful and she probably isn’t even doing it on purpose but I just somehow want to be the only one who’s losing weight. I want it to be MY thing, I want to be the one who’s getting smaller and I don’t want people to stop noticing, and it’s so fucking bad. Does anyone else ever feel like this? I feel like such a bad person :(
[Rant/Rave] Copping out
/u/lonas_ [M | 145 | Everything I've Ever Let Go Of Has Claw Marks On It]
Created: Fri Jan 12 10:23:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7py3au/copping_out/
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I'm killing myself.
I'm drunk and waiting for my bath water to get hot again. The shit that I manage to screw up astonishes me. I didn't think I'd post to reddit but I am.
I'm killing myself. I'm just tired of it. I love my family and friends, and I find love in many elements of life. but it just got to be too hard. I can't do it anymore. I admit it, I'm weak. Is that such a bad thing, to be weak? It just is how it is. ANd i'm sorry for it. I know how selfish this is, painfully aware. But it's ironic, the calamity this will cause, and I won't have any awareness of it. all things going right that is.
I'm sorry.
[Discussion] What “ED” websites/forums do you frequent?
/u/makemeup_makeup [5'5 | 😭 | GW 111 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 12 10:22:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7py33m/what_ed_websitesforums_do_you_frequent/
---
So I found r/proED through myproana.com. MPA was the first website I ever found that was an actual forum for people with EDs, although recently I’ve been browsing here a lot too! What websites have you used/do you use? Are you only on this sub? Are there other subs you use?
[Other] When your anxiety saves you from a bad decision
/u/holllzzz [5’3” | CW: 122 | UGW: 100 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 12 10:06:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pxypy/when_your_anxiety_saves_you_from_a_bad_decision/
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So last night I broke down and decided to get mexican food with my hubby (our weakness).
Now as of late, I’ve been suffering from panic attacks. Lately leaving the house is hard for me. When I was getting ready, I was fine and even wanted to go out after dinner. But once we got on the car, my anxiety was INTENSE.
When we pulled into the restaurant’s parking lot, we watched my heart rate increase on my Fitbit lol. I was SICK from anxiety and it completely killed my appetite. Once we got inside, cue panic attack. Had to sit in 25 degree weather to shock myself to try and calm down.
Now panic attack over, and looking at the menu, I was shaken but at the same time relieved. I was so happy my appetite was killed! No post meal guilt!! I would have hated myself this morning.
So now I’m like wow wanna lose weight? Have a panic disorder! Sick right? (I’m seeing a Dr soon).
Anyways, you can imagine my delight when I was down 2 more pounds this morning! 🙌
Wouldn’t of happened if I ate last night.
[Rant/Rave] Why am I like this? Rant on rant on rant.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Fri Jan 12 09:51:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pxunw/why_am_i_like_this_rant_on_rant_on_rant/
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On mobile flair as rant rave.
Sorry for just the random long rant but just need to get my thoughts out and a part of me think you are all really supportive, loving understanding. This is going to be all over the place.
I hate my family. Hate is a strong word and I don't mean my whole family I guess. I do like my brother even though he seems to have lucked out on like and gotten more attention and support from my parents than I have.
For my bday my parents pretty much let me be a depressed wreck and sleep and cry all day. I kind of felt like no one cares. At the last minute we went to dinner at a safe place I liked and the complained about the food and how much I ate and ordered even though it was all veggies pretty much and super light on sauce and oils, while they are phad Thai and noodles and rice. They bought me a vegan cake and couldn't have anyone of it even for singing which I normally don't like but it would have meant something seeing as how I always hate my birthdays. I ended up eatijng half of the cake that night and purged it at a grocery store bathroom a few blocks away..
Xmas was another tragedy. No family things which I guess I was ok with but being with my immediate family was not great my mom had a cancer scare and got surgery a few days before my bday and so everyone was checking on her and sending her flowers and making dinners for her and my dirtbag father (more on him later). I feel like my struggles and my depressed were being concealed by my mom's thing and felt selfish for wanting validating for what I was going through. My partner of 5 years left me a month and a half ago and I'm still pretty much dead inside from that.
My parents marriage is a sham. Maybe it's an open thing and I'm not judging for that even though I totally don't get polyamoury or just amoury in general because I feel unlovable. My phone broke and I used my dad's old one for a replacement and without wiping it of the stored info I found some disturbing texts, pictures and videos. My parents apparently no longer have sex anymore and my father is seeing other people. I'm upset my mom is being treated like this. Both of them are overweight and my mom has been trying more actively to lose weight in the past year to six months my dad's attempts have been half assed.
Them getting fitbits for Xmas from each other is really fucking triggering and I feel like my complaint isn't valid. They both need to lose weight but I feel mad that they can lose weight with small changes. They eat 2000 calories a day and lose 10 pounds in a couple weeks because they are bigger all while I yoyo the same binge and purge weight and bloating forever. My mom even has said she goes as low as 1200 some days.
My parents talk about calories even though we specifically had a talked about language I don't find helpful when i was in treatment last year when my mia was really really bad. It's still bad and no one has any idea.
I hate how human bodies are so fucking different. I don't like really anything about how I look. I have serious dysphoria physically. And seeing all the different people is just bothersome and I guess I'm super envious of people that can just deal. I want to be a model not for attention or for the career but just because I like the look. It's a weird absurd desire. I don't care about my health I just want to be light and waifish and small.
My current partner may be the worst thing for me now. They try really hard to be emotionally supportive but I don't feel like it's sustainable. They are really overweight. Sex is not good. I mean I don't even like sex and don't really have desire for it but when we have done it. I feel a lot of shame and regret also just for having sex and me feeling awful about myself. They seem to have no intention of losing weight at all and I want to think I can convince them but don't want to be a broken record. I think them being bigger just inhibits a lot of things. They won't walk any weight because they are easily out of breath, always sweaty and don't like walking of moving too much because it makes them nauseous. All of these things seem like typical overweight problems .
I don't know how to go about things. The amount of distress I am going through could just make me worst and I really want them to change their behavior so they can be healthier. I also feel fucked up though because I feel like even for how fucked up and ugly I feel they don't do much better than me because most people probably couldn't see past their weight or their lack of being able to do things. I want to do some tough love and be firm with my choices and give them an ultimatum but I don't want to feel like a hypocrite.
I don't feel like I have the right to tell someone to lose weight no matter their size. I also remember them thinking they have asthma and then not wanting to go to a doctor because they think the doctor will just tell them to lose weight because they would never solve any of their problems. I feel like if I show myself to be someone who doesn't enable their behavior they will leave me and it could be less damaging then of I leave them
I feel trapped because they tell me they love me so much and I don't know what to say so I just parrot it because I don't feel like I can love right now. I want them to love themselves and they means taking care of their physical and mental health not just the mental health.
I'm done cooking for them and not going to give into going out for junk food anymore. I don't want to enable their unhealthy behavior.
Thanks to anyone who reads this mess.
Willow.
[Other] “how we perceive our body is actually a distortion created by our blended past observations of ourselves and others” (possible TW...but also possibly reassuring if you feel like you’re never getting any thinner even though the scale is changing)
/u/qu1et1
Created: Fri Jan 12 08:29:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pxa6m/how_we_perceive_our_body_is_actually_a_distortion/
---
http://neurosciencenews.com/thinner-illusion-brain-8293/
[Discussion] Low cal soups, stews, curries, etc recipes please!!!
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 151.5 | GW: 118 | -15.3 | F24]
Created: Fri Jan 12 08:23:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7px900/low_cal_soups_stews_curries_etc_recipes_please/
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Title self-explanatory. I'm dealing with a shit ton of anxiety about the Christmas weight I gained. Literally ate and drank myself IN A SINGLE WEEK (yay cruise. -__-) from 144.6 to 155. So I'm in desperate need of recipes. Beautiful people of Pro/ED, gimme what you got!!!
[Help] Can’t feel EC stack
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Fri Jan 12 08:07:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7px56o/cant_feel_ec_stack/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Anyone absolutely terrified of gaining weight back?
/u/bunkbedsex [5'3 | CW: 137 | BMI: 24.3 | UGW: 99 | add me on peach]
Created: Fri Jan 12 07:44:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pwzt1/anyone_absolutely_terrified_of_gaining_weight_back/
---
Probably a dumb question but I’ve been struggling with this so much lately. I was pretty in shape all through high school & college but halfway through i went through an assault and got depressed because of it and ballooned up to like a million pounds.
I lost most of it and am back to high school weight but I’m so fucking terrified of gaining the weight back again. I just went through deleted all these old pictures of me on Facebook where you could clearly tell i was overweight and i just looked so hideous. I don’t want anyone to know that that even happened to me. Like i just wish 2014-2015 could just disappear from the timeline.
That’s why I’m trying to get down to at least 99 pounds if not more so i can catch myself if i start gaining back weight. But like it’s literally affecting my love life too like who the fuck is going to want to date someone who even let themselves go in the first place. I don’t know, i think it would be helpful to see if anyone else out there goes through the same sort of thing.
[Discussion] DAE weight lift/how do you feel about possibly gaining muscle weight and seeing the scale go up?
/u/Bridget6th [5'8" | CW135 | 20.5 | UGW119 | 33F]
Created: Fri Jan 12 07:42:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pwzjn/dae_weight_lifthow_do_you_feel_about_possibly/
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I've been wanting to tone up and try lifting (light) weights because I just feel like I'm totally flabby-skinny-fat. Everything still jiggles and wobbles and I hate it. BUT I have seen so many posts of women who start at say, 120lbs and then look smaller and more toned in their after but are 122lbs. I just don't know if I could reconcile seeing the scale go up even if it means my body is getting smaller, measurement-wise. Has anybody dealt with this before? How do you combine the two and not lose your marbles when that scale goes the wrong way? SO MUCH CONFLICT!
[Help] Newbie to EC stacking
/u/bannaberry
Created: Fri Jan 12 07:08:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pws3c/newbie_to_ec_stacking/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Your "advert for anorexia"?
/u/owlAfoul
Created: Fri Jan 12 06:56:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pwpe7/your_advert_for_anorexia/
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Hey everyone :) so recently I have been seeing a counsellor to explore whether or not I am ready to try recovery. At the moment I am not, but I still think it is useful maybe to talk about things with someone who's trained in helping people with EDs. Maybe she can convince me that my life can be better than this 😪 who knows.
Anyway! To the punchline - she sets me "homework" each week and this week she wants me to make an "advert for anorexia". So I am meant to identify what anorexia gives me that is so compelling that I don't want to let it go, despite the physical, social, and academic harm it is doing to me.
I guess I thought this was a thought-provoking task, even though it sounds fucked up, and I am interested to see what your "adverts" would be like. At the moment, I'm thinking that for me it is about punishing myself, and the rush I get from being in control. Also the "success" of losing weight - if I can succeed in that, then maybe I don't have to be so good at everything else?
I don't know o.O I'm still thinking about it...
[Discussion] can’t stop binging
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 12 05:28:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pw9jd/cant_stop_binging/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I don't know how people love exercise.
/u/UnskinnyVegan [171cm | Too high | Too high | Ick | ]
Created: Fri Jan 12 05:21:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pw8h0/i_dont_know_how_people_love_exercise/
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I started going to the gym more often and I do weights to tone my body and feel more compact. Thing is, even with BCAA/caffeine/electrolytes, I struggle. But I'm there, every morning at half past 6.
For the past two days, I took a class that teaches people how to lift and working out around people makes me feel sick. I met this tiny girl who "complimented" me over my "curves", especially my hips.
I *have* hips. Like, even when I was larger, I *had* hips with hipbones that protrude and they are *there* and *large*. I hate them. I hate how big they are. I hate how they look. I typically wear longer clothing on top to hide them.
I ignored the compliment and she just went on and on about my hips. She told me how I should "accentuate" them. She asked me about exercises I used to "build" my lower body. That made me feel sick. I feel like I need to restrict harder.
I also forced myself to do my best in front of others. I get so anxious around people that it gives me superhuman powers and I can do everything... but then, I get home and I feel like less of a person. I feel deflated.
I forced myself to do these exercises and now I'm sore all over and constantly taking painkillers because I just can't stand the soreness. I feel so agitated and I keep hearing her talk about my hips in my head. I hate the gym and I don't want to go there ever... but it's my New Year's resolution to go to the gym 200 days out of the year. Life sucks. Resolutions suck. People suck.
[Help] Scared of traveling with my friend for two weeks/need advice
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 12 05:18:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pw7y3/scared_of_traveling_with_my_friend_for_two/
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[deleted]
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! January 12, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jan 12 05:12:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pw73y/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for January 12, 2018.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! January 12, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jan 12 05:12:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pw73i/daily_food_diary_january_12_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 12, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Other] Just downloaded peach at last, add me (pinnekjottt) or comment your username and we can all support each other!
/u/pinnekjottt
Created: Fri Jan 12 04:07:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pvwux/just_downloaded_peach_at_last_add_me_pinnekjottt/
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[Other] just downloaded peach at last, add me (pinnekjottt) or leave your username in the comments and we can all support each other!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 12 03:47:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pvtto/just_downloaded_peach_at_last_add_me_pinnekjottt/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Diet tea ?
/u/kdawg210
Created: Fri Jan 12 03:17:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pvpn5/diet_tea/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] How to have a social life while restricting?
/u/InterchangeableMoon [Height 5'0" | CW 110 | GW 98 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 12 03:09:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pvobe/how_to_have_a_social_life_while_restricting/
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This has been a running theme with the holidays and everyone wanting to hang out and get out more often in the first few weeks of the new year. I want to get out of the house and hang out with people but it feels like it always leads to food and/or alcohol.
Which is fine except that I’m a restricter/exercise bulimic and I haven’t told anyone and I still want to look normal to other people. So I eat and I drink and then lay in bed at night and cry about everything I ate and drank outside of my caloric budget. And I love the food. I love the cocktails. But I hate that they stop me from my goals. I hate that I feel pressured to be normal. I hate that I can’t say anything about how unhealthy things are because I don’t want to give them any impression how obsessive I am about calories, volume, and my body.
It’s so isolating because I don’t want to feel stuck at home alone on the weekends, but everyone only ever wants to get meals together and drink if I do make plans with other people. I know I could make “healthier” choices. I know I can find ways to cut calories. But I don’t want to make it look like I’m being obsessive and i feel like I’m so hyper aware of all of the weird shit that I do.
I bought a skirt online that’s an extra small and it arrived today and just BARELY fits. I keep thinking to myself that once I lose like 5 more pounds it’ll be perfect. And that kind of triggered me and sent me into this tailspin writing and thinking about it. Idk. Sorry for the weird post, I’m just trying not to be anxious about everything that happened today. I feel like I’m losing my mind...
[Rant/Rave] recovery sucks
/u/plumbum-dirigible [5'3| CW 99 | 17.5 | UGW 89 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 12 02:59:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pvmye/recovery_sucks/
---
I'm afraid to gain weight (because I don't want to be fatter than I am), I'm afraid to lose weight (because I like not balding at 18, thanks), I'm afraid to weigh myself (because what if it makes me start hard restricting again?), and I'm afraid to not weigh myself (because what if I gain too much weight?). y'all ever feel like this? like you're stuck in between wanting to recover and wanting to relapse and you feel horrible about both because you can't stand the thought of gaining weight, but you also really really want to be mentally and physically healthy??
[Rant/Rave] Is anyone else getting really tired of hearing people say that everyone dislikes something about themselves when they vent their insecurities?
/u/circa90melancholy
Created: Fri Jan 12 02:19:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pvhbb/is_anyone_else_getting_really_tired_of_hearing/
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I get it, I do, I know why people say it, but it's as frustrating as the "there are children starving in Africa" that my mom occasionally likes to throw out when I say I'm not happy. It doesn't make me feel better. It just makes me regret saying anything at all.
And it's an empty statement. You know what a doctor once told me when I said I hated my body? That *she* hated the shape of her *nails.* That's precisely why the statement is so empty. It completely ignores scale. It completely ignores how much any of those insecurities or dislikes actually effect people. And maybe that's their point, that because everyone has insecurities, dislikes and gets along fine, that I should too, but I think that point is just as stupid. If everyone just *gets over* insecurities, then are they *really* insecurities?
Agh.
[Other] My puppy died
/u/thinandmint [5' | 105 | GW 90 | 🍑 thinandmint ]
Created: Fri Jan 12 02:03:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pvf0k/my_puppy_died/
---
I don't know why I'm posting this here but I don't have friends and I can't fucking deal
She suffocated in a bag at my parents house I wasn't even there
She was the only joy in my life keeping me from spiraling into my depression and ED
This world is so fucking unfair what am I going to do without my best friend
I can starve binge purge drink drugs but no self destructive behavior can numb this
Edit: Don't have the energy to properly respond rn but ty all for your support it means the world to me. You are all precious humans
[Rant/Rave] Binged again, can't get my life together :)
/u/SvelteDreams [5'5" | CW 121.4lbs | GW 103lbs | 21F]
Created: Fri Jan 12 01:37:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pvbjh/binged_again_cant_get_my_life_together/
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I'm trying so hard. First part of the day, fucking great. Magical. Second part of the day? Depressed, lonely, binged. Loneliness is definitely my binge trigger. I'm tryna build hobbies to combat the loneliness but it's hard. I just want to stop binging. DAE get back pain when they binge hard and literally can't find a comfortable position because that is what I'm going through rn. How are all y'alls nights going? I hope better than mine.
[Rant/Rave] Even if someone proves me that i'm wrong, I'll never feel safe or believe any app or website.
/u/Hextoria
Created: Fri Jan 12 00:41:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pv3h9/even_if_someone_proves_me_that_im_wrong_ill_never/
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[removed]
[Help] Can't figure out where/how to buy Bronkaid or Primatene for ECA stacking
/u/ViscousCerebrum [Height 5'3| CW 100.4lbs| GW 80lbs]
Created: Thu Jan 11 23:21:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7puqx7/cant_figure_out_wherehow_to_buy_bronkaid_or/
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Like I said, I can't find where to buy it. I can't find it online. The only place that might have it is Walmart but I've read that it's still hard to get there. Is there any other product that contains ephedrine that doesn't cost like $50?
[Discussion] DAE reject food no matter how much they like it?
/u/tarim_
Created: Thu Jan 11 23:18:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7puqfb/dae_reject_food_no_matter_how_much_they_like_it/
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I do this with fruit. It's good for me and it's SO sweet and yummy. I feel like I was enjoying myself too much, so I stopped eating fruit completely. Now it's a huge fear food. Has anyone done anything like this?
[Rant/Rave] Imagine a version of Lena Dunham’s body (circa 2011ish) that’s the same size, but you can also see all of her bones.
/u/theteaiscold
Created: Thu Jan 11 22:15:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pueta/imagine_a_version_of_lena_dunhams_body_circa/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] My therapist asked me if I’ve lost weight
/u/LLazarus732
Created: Thu Jan 11 21:02:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pu0r1/my_therapist_asked_me_if_ive_lost_weight/
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So I’ve been on a bit of a rollercoaster, gained 10 pounds before the holidays and had been on vacation with my family, so there was tons of food and I always had to eat with everyone, but I’ve been on and off the recovery train since mid November.
I think I was actually starting to come to a pretty good place, I was feeling a lot less guilt about what I ate for some reason, and had only B&Ped once this whole month and I was absolutely hammered at the time.
Idk where it came from but I was feeling okay and I also managed to lose the holiday weight without restricting too much.
Then I had my first appointment with my therapist since I went away, and the first thing she did was look at me very hard and serious and ask me very concerned “Did you lose more weight? You look like you’ve lost weight.”
I cannot describe how good that felt. It was seriously like a drug. No one had commented on my weight loss in months and I knew she wasn’t lying because to her it’s a bad thing and she was concerned.
It’s so massively fucked up but that comment felt so good that I’ve been restricting and working out hardcore every day since then.
I want those comments back, I want to be noticeably smaller.
God fucking dammit, the fucking irony.
[Help] Want to start EC stacking
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Thu Jan 11 20:34:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ptuwz/want_to_start_ec_stacking/
---
Ok so I have been bingeing way too fucking much lately and I need to get back on track.
I am planning one last binge tonight and to start EC stacking tomorrow.
Can anyone tell me exactly what I need to get and how much to take? I live in the US.
Thanks!!
[Discussion] Restriction brain-fog while I'm 'in recovery' ugh
/u/2fckk
Created: Thu Jan 11 20:24:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ptsv9/restriction_brainfog_while_im_in_recovery_ugh/
---
Like I convince myself that I'm "eating a normal amount" and "seriously pursuing recovery" and my favorite.... "MAYBE EVEN EATING TOO MUCH, I SHOULD PROBABLY SLOW DOWN BECAUSE MY CLOTHES ARE TIGHT AND REFLECTION IS UNRECOGNIZABLE"
yet....
I have that all-too-familiar restriction brain-fog/dead eyes/can't think straight feeling that is absolutely malnutrition.
Plus I just weighed myself and I lost 3 pounds since choosing to recover soooooo....
HELLO BODY DYSMORPHIA, HELLO ANOREXIA, HOW ARE YA. I DIDN'T INVITE YOU NOR DID I EVEN KNOW YOU HAD SHOWN UP, YOU STUPID SNEAKY LITTLE FUCKS. THANKS, THIS IS SUCH A FUN FUCKING PARTY :'DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
[Rant/Rave] I’m getting Invisalign!
/u/ppyeosae [62in | CW 100lbs | BMI 18.95 | GW 95lbs | UGW 85lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jan 11 20:20:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ptrwv/im_getting_invisalign/
---
And you know what that means?
I have to wear those suckers for 22 hours every day, which means I can reduce my calorie intake. Then opting for low calorie soups and other soft foods won’t be suspicious anymore because I’ll have aches in my teeth!
So, 9 months from now, I’ll have straight teeth and be closer to my goal weight!
[Rant/Rave] what the fuck
/u/shiraruru [159cm | 45.0kg | 3kg | f]
Created: Thu Jan 11 20:15:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ptqxo/what_the_fuck/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Recovery IP Day 2
/u/snail_love [5'6" | F | CW: not enough | GW: never enough]
Created: Thu Jan 11 20:12:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ptq7i/recovery_ip_day_2/
---
Hey everyone! I'm here, officially inpatient at a treatment center. So far, it's not awful. I actually would say my main emotion has been relief for most of the time. I haven't purged in two days, which is a record for the last two years. Cause yeah, it was every day multiple times a day. I'm eating all the meals they give me, and for now I'm on a non-gaining plan which makes me feel better about doing that. I miss my family and my partner, but not to the point of being really depressed or crying. Mentally overall I'm honestly enjoying letting go of my purge cycle and the need to do anything but just be in the moment with myself.
Physically it sucks. Because I was so deep into the purging, my glands are swollen, I'm constipated and retaining water like crazy and they won't let me have as much to drink as I'd like and that sucks. Also I have to pee and shower with someone near and checking after me before I flush, etc. Which is SUPER weird to get used to and more than once I've REALLY had to go and then can't because of... pee stage fright I guess?
I think the hardest part is honestly how I relate to the other patients. Some of them seem so much sicker than me. I'm not jealous exactly, but in some ways I feel guilty that I can eat my food and they're tubed or like they're watching my every bite. It makes me really self-conscious. But then again, they probably are too.
Anyway, that's some quick thoughts from the start of all of this! I love you all and appreciate all your support! <3 <3
[Help] I’ve lost control and I really need help
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Thu Jan 11 20:00:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ptnjc/ive_lost_control_and_i_really_need_help/
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Sorry I’m a lol tipsy so this might be all over the place but I really need help.
I feel like I have lost whatever control I had over this disorder. I don’t even know if I have one or not but I have spiraled.
Up until recently I have been able to restrict very well and that was my main issue but as of the past couple weeks I have really been struggling with bingeing and purging. Whenever I eat anything it turns into a binge, I can’t fucking help it and then I feel so bad about myself that I can’t help but throw it up and I am so terrified of gaining weight.
I don’t want to be like this. I want to be able to eat fucking normally. I just ate a normal amount and still fucking felt like I had to throw it up. I am so scared of this and I don’t know what to do.
Counting calories makes me fucking miserable and stressed and I would rather not eat at all so I can’t do that. I’m afraid to go see a counselor because I know it will bring up a lot of hard shit that I’m not in a place to deal with.
I am 6 pounds bloated right now and I have been gaining a pound a week these past two weeks from the bingeing and I can’t fucking stop.
I don’t always get very much feedback here but I’m really hoping someone is able to say something to help because I am fucking freaking out and I am so scared. All I want to do is eat, I want to eat everything sooooo badly but when I do I feel fucking horrible. I feel so good fasting but I have only been able to do like 70 hours weekly and all that does is cancel out what I eat the rest of the time (not even fully bc I am two lbs up). And when I’m fasting I am constantly thinking about food.
I don’t want to be like this but I don’t know how to stop and I’m just so afraid.
non-ED thing that made me lol
/u/what_in_carnation [5'2 | 113lb]
Created: Thu Jan 11 19:56:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ptmow/noned_thing_that_made_me_lol/
---
So today, classes started for me but I felt like shit because I got too drunk the night before and I’ve been dealing with a nasty hangover all day.
After classes were done, the nausea seemed like it was only getting worse so I went to the bathroom to throw up (in hopes that it’d make me feel better)
There was another girl in the stall next to me (tbh I didn’t care because I just felt so fucking shitty) and lmao idk if anyone else can relate but you know when you can just TELL when someone is waiting for you to leave so they can shit in peace?? Like someone’s in there for an extended period of time not making any noise???
So it’s dead silent in there and I start forcing myself to throw up (I’ve only had crackers at this point so it was more bile than anything and a lot of gagging noises) and after a few minutes, this girl gets up and shuffles out of there
and I’m thinking “jfc she probably thinks I’m bulimic or something — I mean, I am, but it’s not related to this”
had a good chuckle about that
tldr; threw up in a bathroom at uni bc of a hangover and scared off a girl that was just trying to shit
(sorry, no flair because mobile)
[Rant/Rave] Sad
/u/vctrlcs [5'6" | CW: 150.8 | UGW: 115 | BMI: 24.4 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 11 19:43:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ptjud/sad/
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[removed]
[Help] Period weight gain
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 |SW.156 |CW.137 |GW.120 |23.07 |F]
Created: Thu Jan 11 19:33:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pthsl/period_weight_gain/
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I have binged yesterday and today up to 1500 calories and I need to slow the fuck down. I’m on my period so I am very bloated and I weigh 5lbs more than I did two days ago. My increased sodium and period bloating is making me feel so disgusting can anyone offer advice? I just want to feel like “cleaner” I guess. For those of you who get your period, what do you do to help with this kids of gross bloating and increased sodium. I am going to fast tomorrow I go straight from school to work to my team meeting till 10 so hopefully I won’t eat anything. Just Diet Pepsi as per usual.
[Goal] Recovery victory?! Hit my low weight, and then! (saving you from the clickbait) ...I ate!
/u/dbt-girl [5'2" | 114]
Created: Thu Jan 11 19:29:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ptgp4/recovery_victory_hit_my_low_weight_and_then/
---
So I woke up this morn around 113 and was like, “hm.”
Part of me still wanted to go lower, but most of me was just dead to the news my scale gave me. I just acknowledged the fact that I was back at my LW. Ok.
But instead of trying to push the issue and find myself a new LW, I went off to campus and...
... I ate a 1,000 calorie breakfast. Yeah.
Not like a binge breakfast, just a normal-sized, veerrrryyy calorie dense breakfast. A burrito and a salted caramel mocha. And it was fucking delicious.
I consciously may have had a zero cal energy drink and skipped lunch, but the important thing is the breakfast stayed in my fucking stomach. I didn’t purge. And while there was definitely anxiety associated with ordering the burrito and mocha, I didn’t have anxiety after consuming it. I just accepted.
Since I skipped lunch, I ended up having a donut. One of the managers was excitedly informing me that our grocery store fries all their donuts in-house... ugg, and I ate one. The whole thing. And as weird as it sounds, I’m proud that I ate this stupid fucking donut.
For dinner I had a salad and two bowls of soup. I think I will probably lax, tbh... but I’m really trying to learn to enjoy food again. Even if the progress isn’t perfect.
[Help] How is it even possible to get out of a rut like this
/u/eldariya [6'4 / 192cm | 166lbs / 75.5kg | 19.2 | -100 | M]
Created: Thu Jan 11 18:52:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pt8gw/how_is_it_even_possible_to_get_out_of_a_rut_like/
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[removed]
[Discussion] just saw this on my IG feed- what are your opinions on this?
/u/seiiten
Created: Thu Jan 11 18:40:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pt5x1/just_saw_this_on_my_ig_feed_what_are_your/
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https://i.redd.it/s934j96xjj901.jpg
[Discussion] so physics really shouldn’t work this way but hey I ain’t complaining
/u/davincisunflower [5'7 | 115 | 18 | GW 100]
Created: Thu Jan 11 17:41:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pss99/so_physics_really_shouldnt_work_this_way_but_hey/
---
so according to my spreadsheet I should be 118.9 lbs rn
I just weighed myself and I’m 114.8. I know we scale is accurate and I’ve been drinking a fuck ton of water lately, it’s not dehydration
anyone else experienced something like this?
[Discussion] Server struggles
/u/SinfulCinnamon
Created: Thu Jan 11 16:58:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7psi8l/server_struggles/
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So I have two jobs, both serving/bartending. I've been in a heavy fasting and restricting phase lately, calling it "IF" so no one bats an eye, and it's been working pretty well. If I eat, I don't typically do it until at least 4pm so my daily allowance of calories are saved for when I feel bingy at night. But today I was serving a banquet lunch and there was a ton of food leftover so the chefs made everyone a plate and my manager told me to take a break so I can eat. This was around 1pm. I felt way too awkward to not eat while everyone else around the table was so I compromised with myself and just ate the roasted veggies and my salad. Left the rice and meat on the plate and put it in a to go box which I didn't end up taking home with me on purpose. Now I'm highly annoyed because I feel like I fucked up my fast by eating. Which I did obviously. And now I feel like I shouldn't eat for the rest of the day even though it was probably only like 100 calories but I want to just start my fast over to redeem myself and take back control of when I decide to eat not when I'm told to eat.
Just needed to vent a little. I hate when life fucks up my schedule. I have been doing so well and I wasn't even hungry yet kinda got cornered into eating anyways and I'm disappointed in myself for giving in. Could've blatantly said no or lie and say I had a big breakfast/wasn't hungry. Either way, serving might literally be the death of me. Anyone else constantly around food for their job and hating life because of it? 😑
[Discussion] Strained neck from vomiting
/u/themomofthegroup
Created: Thu Jan 11 16:55:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pshj3/strained_neck_from_vomiting/
---
I know this is absolutely possible, but have any of you pulled a muscle or strained your neck from throwing up?
[Help] just binged feeling super sad :(
/u/silverkel
Created: Thu Jan 11 16:33:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pschu/just_binged_feeling_super_sad/
---
I had a moment of clarity walking towards the snack room (its a room full of basically free junk food for grad students its hell) of like, you have a choice, then I was like MEH and 1200 cals later I am so sad and ashamed of myself :( This past week I was doing so good too. I don't understand it. WHY
[Rant/Rave] My coworker straight up did not recognize me
/u/circuitghost [5'9" | CW: ~139 | GW: 127 | F | 🍑roboghost ]
Created: Thu Jan 11 15:59:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ps42e/my_coworker_straight_up_did_not_recognize_me/
---
My work unit has two areas - one lab in the hub of the hospital, and one lab outside of downtown for less time-sensitive processes. I had to go to the downtown location for a meeting today, and when I walked in one coworker turned to another and quietly said "I want to say hi to Circuitghost but is that her??"
Then they came over and said that I lost a ton of weight, and we've been hiring so they thought I might have been a new person.
I've both changed my hair and lost weight so it's not entirely surprising, Tbh, but it's validating as hell
(on mobile, tried to flair, hope it worked??)
[Discussion] Does anyone use their bullet journal for ED purposes? How does your spreads look like?
/u/hanabira [5"1 🌼 120 🌼 100 🌼 22F]
Created: Thu Jan 11 15:17:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7prtik/does_anyone_use_their_bullet_journal_for_ed/
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https://i.redd.it/edgimj7aji901.jpg
First day under 1000 calories in 18 months!!
/u/freakytreesprite [5'2'' | 180 | BMI 34.1 | Female]
Created: Thu Jan 11 15:08:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7prrem/first_day_under_1000_calories_in_18_months/
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[removed]
[Discussion] January 10/11th Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 11 14:49:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7prm72/january_1011th_question_of_the_day/
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Sorry for really slacking lately. Still depressed and feeling like shit.
10th: What inspired you today?
11th: What did you lose today?
[Rant/Rave] Got accidentally drunk last night?
/u/mynameisasecret12
Created: Thu Jan 11 14:45:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7prl3z/got_accidentally_drunk_last_night/
---
And told my girlfriend I didn’t want to eat until we went to Vegas (as I was stuffing my face w celery and hummus). We went out and I had a couple drinks on an empty stomach and shared a small app w her bc it would be rude and obvious if I didn’t and it was the first food I’ve eaten in three days so obvi two drinks was gonna make me a bit more drunk than usual. So we got home and I just said it as we were talking and she just looked at me and said “why don’t you just do it the healthy way, I don’t get it.” And it just validated all of my fears and concerns and everything I’ve been worried about and stressed about and made me feel so disgusting. I told her thanks now I want to go throw all of this up and just went to bed.
This was like the straw that broke the camels back. She’s been making tons of comments about my clothing choices, telling me x or y is too much or things don’t look good. It’s been constant and it just feels like way more commentary than normal and I feel like it is because I’m like 20 pounds heavier than I was when we started dating like two years ago.
Additionally, she only wants to have sex when she wants to have sex. If I wanna have sex she always has an excuse, a reason not to. We still have a lot of sex, yes but it just feels like she has to be “in the mood” to have sex w me and that I don’t make her in the mood because I’m fat and unattractive.
Anyway it feels like I’m projecting but I’m also just like really annoyed and upset and I want to go get Taco Bell and binge and purge for the day.
Am I overreacting?
[Other] Cheese alternatives?
/u/nitra_bon [Height 5'3 | CW 108lbs | GW 99lbs | Weight Lost -14lbs| Gender F]
Created: Thu Jan 11 14:44:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7prl1y/cheese_alternatives/
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Any low cal cheese recommendations? I use this amish cheese flavored powder sometimes for eggs and veggies, but want to find something with a little more substance to put on sandwiches (Aka 35 calorie bread with 2 slices of turkey, where my Sarah Lee people at).
[Rant/Rave] I have a new best friend
/u/orthoreXXX [22F | 5’4” | cw 120lb | gw 110lb | bmi 21]
Created: Thu Jan 11 14:37:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7prj23/i_have_a_new_best_friend/
---
(I didn’t know what to flair this, feel free to change it)
So yesterday was shoulder day at the gym and I was going pretty hard on that one rear delt machine that can also be used for chest flys (lol no idea what it’s called) when I got completely distracted by the TV in front of me.
Usually they’re playing Fox or CNN but they had the show “My 600 pound life” on and a woman was pretty much sobbing over her weight because she couldn’t get out of the bathtub.
Well this cute thin girl on the machine next to me noticed me staring in awe at the television and said “Motivating, isn’t it?” and then winked in the cutest way I’ve ever seen.
That was the only conversation I’ve had with her but I’m pretty much in love you guys
[Rant/Rave] MY NEW ADD MEDS TOOK AWAY MY APPETITE
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 133.8 | BMI: 26 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26F]
Created: Thu Jan 11 14:32:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7prhxi/my_new_add_meds_took_away_my_appetite/
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I'VE ONLY HAD 2 COFFEES AND A COKE ZERO TODAY
IT'S 4:32 AND I'M NOT HUNGRY AT ALL
AND IT'S A NON-STIMULANT SO I DON'T EVEN FEEL SHAKY OR ON EDGE OR ANYTHING
HOORAY
UNDER 130 BY FEBRUARY
[Rant/Rave] I'm so confused!
/u/SwedishKaiser
Created: Thu Jan 11 14:19:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7preev/im_so_confused/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] EC stacking and losing control
/u/lavendersmoke [5'5" | CW idk?? | GW 105 | SW 135 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 11 14:18:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7prebg/ec_stacking_and_losing_control/
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I've gotten into regularly EC stacking and I love it, super easy to skip meals and I've stopped having dessert as my main food source. It's gotten me back into heavy restriction though and as a result I've gotten very picky about what I do eat, because fuck wasting calories.
I was with a friend earlier and she wanted to eat so I agreed to get sandwiches with her. Cue one of the worst sandwiches I've had in awhile, it sucked and cost $10. So not only was it a waste of money but also calories, and then when I tried to purge it out in the public bathroom it refused to come up. Fucking awful. The day is ruined, and I wasn't even hungry.
Sorry I just need to vent, this hasn't happened in awhile since I've been really good at holding back on eating when they invite me but today I was like "why not"
[Rant/Rave] Back and ashamed
/u/livelikesinners
Created: Thu Jan 11 13:53:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pr7t4/back_and_ashamed/
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So I’ve been MIA for a bit. Basically because I got into a disgusting binge cycle and i felt like I didn’t belong here, whether it be just to read let alone to actually contribute. But my depression about this weight gain over the last month ish has finally pushed me over the edge. I need to get back to restricting or I will not have time to look how I want to look over the summer. Too scared to weigh myself currently so I’m not sure what I gained (pretty sure it is significant)so my plan is to restrict hard for at least a couple weeks before I do that or it will make me insane.
Just wanted to let y’all know I am alive and well(fed😑) and will be back to giving daily updates on my one coffee and one meal a day lol
Love you all 💖
[Rant/Rave] recovery feels
/u/bagelzboi [5'3 | CW: uhhhhhhhhh scale broke]
Created: Thu Jan 11 13:30:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pr1c9/recovery_feels/
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https://i.redd.it/d6akfvfg0i901.png
[Rant/Rave] Hiding it better than I thought
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jan 11 13:28:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pr124/hiding_it_better_than_i_thought/
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[deleted]
[Help] Can’t figure out how to flair user name
/u/vitalogy95
Created: Thu Jan 11 12:55:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pqrqr/cant_figure_out_how_to_flair_user_name/
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[removed]
[Help] Any guidance/tips on how to begin ECA stacking in the UK?
/u/mina1200
Created: Thu Jan 11 12:47:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pqpgv/any_guidancetips_on_how_to_begin_eca_stacking_in/
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[removed]
[Help] How to not over-eat out of country? Tips?
/u/oafmeal [5'8" | CW 135]
Created: Thu Jan 11 12:35:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pqmhn/how_to_not_overeat_out_of_country_tips/
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[removed]
[Other] Not too sure how to feel
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 56.9 kg | -26.6 kg | 22F]
Created: Thu Jan 11 12:03:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pqe69/not_too_sure_how_to_feel/
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(I'm not sure if this is a rant or not, if you do consider it as one feel free to chsnge my flair @mods)
I'm really depressed and stressed out for 4 months already and because my dad wanted to do something nice for me. To make me feel better he bought 2 bags of pistachios which are my favorite, and I'd usually inhale a whole bag within 10 minutes. I know I'll eat them at some point but well I'm not too excited about the calorie bomb.
I decided to just be appreciative that he thought about me and wanted to cheer me up but do you guys have any idea how I eat them moderately instead of inhaling them all at once? They are worse than bread. I'm definitely not throwing them out though.
[Thinspo] My current thinspiration (not my image)
/u/franciscan_donkey
Created: Thu Jan 11 11:40:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pq7vx/my_current_thinspiration_not_my_image/
---
https://i.redd.it/fgwgee5wgh901.jpg
[Other] Croissant binge avoided
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jan 11 11:18:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pq2c7/croissant_binge_avoided/
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[deleted]
[Other] A comic I drew about how I spent my holidays
/u/bagelzboi [5'3 | CW: uhhhhhhhhh scale broke]
Created: Thu Jan 11 11:01:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ppxjy/a_comic_i_drew_about_how_i_spent_my_holidays/
---
https://pigeonzboi.tumblr.com/post/169585394382/ohohohno
[Rant/Rave] My new calendar widget app helps me keep track of fast days vs food days using stickers
/u/annie8979 [5'8" | 154lbs | 23.4 | -50lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jan 11 11:00:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ppx8p/my_new_calendar_widget_app_helps_me_keep_track_of/
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https://i.redd.it/34v3z23r9h901.jpg
I'm so proud of myself
/u/freakytreesprite [5'2'' | 180 | BMI 34.1 | Female]
Created: Thu Jan 11 10:18:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ppmfi/im_so_proud_of_myself/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I can’t stand what I’ve become
/u/floodinginmymind [5'8" | CW: 135 | BMI: 20.4 | WL: 47 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 11 09:05:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pp38s/i_cant_stand_what_ive_become/
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I’ve been in inpatient a few times in the past three months for self harm, but they make you eat all three meals. I had to stay with my parents a bunch and they made me eat too (they found out about me starving myself).
I can see how much weight I’ve gained in the mirror. I won’t even weigh myself because I know I’ll have a breakdown if I do.
I am restricting as much as possible again but people are watching me and what I eat. I have to lose all this weight again, and I’m so fucking sad about it. Everyone that is making me eat drives me to hating myself even more... why can’t they see that?
TL;DR - people are making me eat and I’m getting fat.
[Rant/Rave] Japan's getting a zero calorie Coke with laxatives in it
/u/overweightandstress
Created: Thu Jan 11 08:58:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pp17d/japans_getting_a_zero_calorie_coke_with_laxatives/
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https://www.thedailymeal.com/drink/laxative-coca-cola-japan-heath-trend/010918
TAKE ME TO JAPAN
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jan 11 08:56:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pp0pr/take_me_to_japan/
---
https://www.thedailymeal.com/drink/laxative-coca-cola-japan-heath-trend/010918
[Rant/Rave] “i guess that’s where all you’re fat is carried”
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Thu Jan 11 08:52:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pozo9/i_guess_thats_where_all_youre_fat_is_carried/
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i have a malicious friend who isn’t scared to say what she thinks even if it’s mean. today in front of everyone she started going on about how fat my ANKLES looked?! yay another piece of my body to be insecure about. everyone was laughing and looking at my ankles? she then continued it on to be all nice “maybe it’s just because you’re legs are so skinny” “that must be where you carry all your fat” i have no idea what to even take from this? thanks friend?
[Rant/Rave] Last weekend was so validating
/u/SasssyFrass [5'4" | CW: 113.5 lb GW: 105 lb | BMI: 19.5 | female]
Created: Thu Jan 11 07:59:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pomnn/last_weekend_was_so_validating/
---
Last weekend a school group I'm in spent all day doing a high ropes/obstacle/team building challenge course. We had to do activities like use teamwork to build pathways between wooden platforms, get everyone across a 12 foot high wall, get the team through a tightrope obstacle course, etc.
Guys. In every activity, I was the automatic "skinny girl". Whenever someone light needed to be tossed up somewhere or walk across the precarious plank or be carried, everyone automatically nominated me. Even though there were other girls there, not even fat girls, I was the obvious choice?! I feel so fat when I look in the mirror but holy shit that was so validating. Made it easier to skip the goddamn potato chips they put out for lunch and just eat a plain burger patty >_<
[Tip] PSA: Dollar general has 0 cal sweeteners heckin cheap.
/u/idontevenliketeatbh [23F 5'3" | cw.156 | ugw.100 | lost.43lbs ☕ ]
Created: Thu Jan 11 07:55:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7polrd/psa_dollar_general_has_0_cal_sweeteners_heckin/
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Just wanted to let y'all know! 1$ for a whole box of "0" cal sweetners. I usually see em for like 2 or 3. They had every kind too; stevia, aspartame, sucralose, saccharine, another one I can't remember. (:
[Intro] Back... back again
/u/AngelicZero [5'5.5"|-39| UGW115 | 12 Days BF]
Created: Thu Jan 11 07:50:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pokin/back_back_again/
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So, I remember when I first found this sub and saw girls reintroducing themselves. Thought is was so weird and silly. Why would you EVER want to leave?
I left without a word. I started therapy and treating my bipolar type 2. Then one day this place just disgusted me and I was so sick of feeling this way. I just was maintaining because I could never just lose weight and eat 1200 calories without starting to feel guilty.
On January 1st I felt ready to tackle the fat beast again. To get to that goal of 115 so I could finally go to Japan for my 25th birthday and buy all the Liz Lisa clothes I desired. I want to ransack Shibuya 109.
I decided the best way to stop fucking up my diet was to start going healthy (and to save my wallet from fast food). I wanted to start with cutting out fast food for January. February was limiting chips and snack foods. Then I'd assess my next goals from there. 1200 calories a day. Also, the rule was don't beat yourself up if you go to 1500.
I fought a few thoughts that begged me to stop eating for the night when I was at 800 calories. I told myself no even though the high felt so good.
Then I was on my tumblr (I unfollowed all the thinspo blogs and was just following people into Kpop and Liz Lisa type fashion) and this amazingly beautiful girl who posted body checks popped up. All I wanted was that again. 10 days into the new year and getting back to losing weight and here I am again.
Oh, random thinspo blog I missed when I was unfollowing... why? Lol
Hello again friends.
[Discussion] Back Pain?
/u/aeroplanessky [5"3 | 110]
Created: Thu Jan 11 07:25:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7poerq/back_pain/
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I've been dealing with my ED since 2007, but I've recently developed some pretty serious lower back pain. I'm fairly certain it got this way through the combination of sitting at a desk for work every day and one bad lifting incident, but I'm worried af that me not eating/eating less than 500 most days is going to hurt it more.
What can I do to help take care of this problem while I starve? For reference, recently I've been sticking pretty heavily to day fasts or less than 300 with an occasional 500 or 600 Cal day.
[Help] how can i get a bigger butt??
/u/psybeams [5'3 | CW 125 | GW 105| 17F]
Created: Thu Jan 11 07:22:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pody4/how_can_i_get_a_bigger_butt/
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[removed]
[Help] Where can I find 22-23 inch waist jeans for average height/tallish girls?
/u/davincisunflower [5'7 | 115 | 18 | GW 100]
Created: Thu Jan 11 06:46:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7po5yb/where_can_i_find_2223_inch_waist_jeans_for/
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I’ve found a few pairs but they’re all for petite girls
Preferably pretty cheap as I’m sorta broke
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support January 11, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jan 11 05:11:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pnocv/weekly_emotional_support_january_11_2018/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! January 11, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jan 11 05:10:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pno33/daily_food_diary_january_11_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 11, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] Things to be thankful for, positive post
/u/franciscan_donkey
Created: Thu Jan 11 04:24:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pngos/things_to_be_thankful_for_positive_post/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I feel like I'm taking crazy pills
/u/DeftHeathen [5'9 | CW 199 | UGW 120 | WL 27 | BMI 29.5]
Created: Thu Jan 11 03:39:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pn9nj/i_feel_like_im_taking_crazy_pills/
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I have another 5ish lbs to lose to get to my pre-Christmas weight. For the last week my average intake was 880cal per day, highest day was just under 1300cal. I've started going to the gym, as before I was a total couch potato and only did walking for exercise. I'm doing IF everyday, 16/8 intervals. I've purged a few times when I've had larger meals.
Since Saturday, I have only lost 0.6lbs. Where TF is this weight coming from?! Am I plateauing? Is it water weight? Why is my hard work not paying off?
I know it will come off eventually, I'm just so frustrated and blah. I have another ~60lbs to lose at least from my pre-Christmas weight, so why is this 5lbs just not moving? I can't eat any less and I'm going crazy inside my own head :(
Just needed to rant. If anybody has any suggestions (I don't EC stack and I don't lax) that would be appreciated.
[Help] New here! I have a question for you guys
/u/darlas12four
Created: Thu Jan 11 03:25:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pn7mw/new_here_i_have_a_question_for_you_guys/
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So I'm new to this sub. I stopped looking at pro ana blogs and websites a few years ago when I started putting weight back on. I'm 5'8.5 and at my lowest I was 102lbs. Now...I must be around 150lbs, at least. It's hard to look in the mirror. I've really let myself go, and allowed myself to comfort eat and binge way too much. It's going to change now.
I was just thinking of when I weighed a lot less, and I wore skimpy outfits that showed my arms, stomach and legs. And I imagined myself wearing similar outfits when I get the weight off again. But then I remembered. Both of my arms and one leg are heavily covered in self harm scars now (this only started in the last two years or so, after I started putting weight back on). And now I feel so sad. Knowing that even if I manage to get down to a weight I feel happy with... I won't be able to feel confident with my body.
I wanted to ask if anybody else here has dealt with similar issues regarding self harm? And what are your thoughts on it? Do you cover up or do you just brave it? I'm so scared that I'll never been seen as pretty, just as damaged.
[Other] 🌸daily reminder that if your weight is normal/overweight, your eating disorder is just as valid of those who are underweight🌸
/u/lunamoon1 [165.5cm | cw: 111.6| lw: 93lbs |20f]
Created: Thu Jan 11 01:54:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pmufq/daily_reminder_that_if_your_weight_is/
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My anorexia started off when I was 167lbs and I’m still suffering just as much when I was there. It took me 6 months to get to outpatients because my weight was normal/overweight and it took me getting so ill to get treatment which by that point I was too far gone and now been forced into inpatient twice (I just came out yesterday).
Just because your illness isn’t visible to others, its still valid and you all deserve the best treatment and care❤️
[Rant/Rave] what my ed has turned me into
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jan 11 00:19:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pmgr2/what_my_ed_has_turned_me_into/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I hate that this disease ruins what should be nice random acts of kindness.
/u/skipintorabbitholes [5'3" | CW: 107.8 | GW: 95 | 22Enby]
Created: Wed Jan 10 23:58:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pmde9/i_hate_that_this_disease_ruins_what_should_be/
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For context I relapsed last year. Surprised I recovered for as long as I had (~2-3 years) considering it began when I was 10-11 and several hospital stays later. I can't afford being hospitalised again, especially after going into the ER for passing out in June without health insurance, so I can't relapse. But I need to be at least a safe weight so I'll be content (I know, I know). Technically already hit it also last year at 94 but stupidly told my friends and they fed me back to 110.
At the groceries I got vitamins, juice, sugar free Red Bull, two chocolate Breyers delights just in case as "safe" go-to binge items. Basically all safe. There's a McDonald's across the street. I've lost 4 pounds without exercising since the 1st even after eating an entire personal size pizza on Sunday. I hadn't ate since Sunday, with a 3 mile total walk I thought it'd be safe to eat two chicken tenders.
It's my fault I'm so passive but I waited 25 minutes before I asked them about my order. They forgot by accident which I didn't mind at all. They personally handed me my bag at the table I was waiting at. Except they added in a burger, sandwich, and even a side, to apologise. To a $2 order.
I'm sure anyone else with a normal relationship with food would have been ecstatic. Probably would have been really happy, maybe even happily sigh after finishing it all joking about having a food baby. I don't know. I'm messed up again so my immediate thought was, "I'll just throw the rest away once I get home."
That lasted until I got through the doors at midnight. Managed to basically inhale it all in 15 minutes.
All goddamn 1200 calories of it. Not sure the exact amount since it's McDonald's and I didn't eat the bread. Cried since then, can't purge because bathroom is right by my roommates room and their door is always open at night. I even finished one of the pints now. I hate this disease for ruining a random act of kindness from someone who was just trying to be nice and fixing a mistake (which was my own fault). I want a healthy relationship with food but I also don't want to recover. I also know once I finally commit I don't stop.
I want out of this fucking nightmare.
[Discussion] How has your ED transformed throughout your life?
/u/ignorado [🍑: ignorado]
Created: Wed Jan 10 23:43:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pmauu/how_has_your_ed_transformed_throughout_your_life/
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To start this post, I’m sorry if it’s not super on topic. I’ve been feeling really down and having casual suicidal thoughts. I’ve been thinking a lot about my history with EDs; I wanted to share, and also hear stories from you guys.
Anyway..
I started restricting thinking I had to be skinny and pretty to find someone who would love me. I remember when I hit 120 pounds at 14, I fasted for 19 days by lying to my parents everyday and purposely leaving the house during meal times because I wanted to be at 110 for my first kiss. The thought of him touching my waist and feeling fat horrified me. I truly believed no boy would think I would be worth hanging around if I was fat.
Instead, I just got heavier and heavier. But the boys kept coming. And some were crazy enough to stay. I don’t worry about my body affecting my love life anymore.
Now it’s about self love. I have this shitty mindset that I’ll finally be able to love myself when I get back down to 110 pounds someday. I just thought about this recently and realized how sad it was that I once worried about looking pretty/slim enough to be loved, but now I’m loved despite not meeting my own standards for that and don’t know how to love myself. I feel suicidal all the time because of emotions that spring from eating habits. How I wish I could be 14 again and make myself realize no worthwhile boy gives a shit about extra fat if you’re confident and love yourself. I wish I could go back in time and focus on that. But this is my life now.
How has your ED transformed when it comes to motivations/habits/rituals?
[Other] Dichotomy of life v work
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'4"| 115 | 19.7 | meh | 26F]
Created: Wed Jan 10 23:33:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pm99j/dichotomy_of_life_v_work/
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I’m a nurse and I’m not underweight and I want to be thinner obviously but I feel like sometimes nurses always expect other nurses to be bigger and heavier. I suppose it’s because if you look too small or whatnot how will you take care of idk bariatric patients?? Also I’m only 5’4” so I’m a shortie.
I want to be smaller but at work I feel out of place...like I’m not “big” enough for my job..??
Shoutout to patients who look at me and say you can’t help me you need some meat on you
Lol I’ve worked with bariatric patients please don’t you say that 😐
[Help] Recs for slimming tights?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 10 23:19:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pm6sp/recs_for_slimming_tights/
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This might be a weird question but does anyone have recommendations for tights that make your legs look skinnier? I’m imaging like Spanx but for the whole leg. I’ve seen a few brands that do them but I don’t know which are good or if they work. Has anyone tried them?
[Other] I wouldn’t say we love it, but we’re well on our way guys!!
/u/disbeetch [5'3'' | 120 | 21.3 | -48 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 10 23:06:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pm4js/i_wouldnt_say_we_love_it_but_were_well_on_our_way/
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http://imgur.com/asK7GcL
[Rant/Rave] 25 to 18 BMI observations
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 10 22:44:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pm0lw/25_to_18_bmi_observations/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Panic post because I couldn’t get anything up during my last two purges today and I need someone to e-hold my hand
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 10 21:31:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7plmwt/panic_post_because_i_couldnt_get_anything_up/
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[deleted]
[Help] I need to know how much weight to lose. I’m going fucking nuts at how much I fluctuate these same six fucking lbs
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 10 21:05:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7plhix/i_need_to_know_how_much_weight_to_lose_im_going/
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https://imgur.com/a/HZPPB
[Discussion] Coke Zero or Diet Coke?
/u/vitalogy95
Created: Wed Jan 10 20:57:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7plfuj/coke_zero_or_diet_coke/
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Curious which one ya’ll prefer.
I think I like Coke Zero best!
[Discussion] DAE get body aches after purging?
/u/SpaceWhale88 [Height 5'3 | CW 180 | HW 197 | LW 122 | 29F]
Created: Wed Jan 10 20:41:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7plcax/dae_get_body_aches_after_purging/
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Ya, ya I know purging is bad for me. But how bad is it that I get body aches after purging? Biologically what is going on here?
[Goal] 2018 will be a happy, healthier me!
/u/kittenwon713
Created: Wed Jan 10 20:24:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pl8v4/2018_will_be_a_happy_healthier_me/
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After going through an extreme restricting and binging cycle in 2017 I’ve decided that this year will be a healthier year for me.
First-I will mainly eat plant based during the week and limit my amount of protein. I have various reasons for this but I found out that your body doesn’t need protein everyday for muscle gain and that as long as you hit your protein macros during the overall week that’s all you need. I am planning on only eating lean meats such as fish or chicken and avoiding red meat/pork. I used to be Keto and be absolutely terrified of carbs and sugar I realized I only have one life and I want to enjoy eating out with my friends and family. Strangely only after binging on garlic knots I realized carbs won’t magically make me gain 10 lbs as long as I (somehow) learn self control.
Second- I will go back to the gym 4x a week after work to regain the muscle I lost the past year from fasting and just laying down all the time. I really think exercise helps me with my mood and I want to be able to increase my BMR and lower my body fat %.
Third- Stop watching food videos/looking at high caloric recipes/watching mukbangs. There’s been studies that show that even looking at food causes you to be hungrier. Instead I will be watching fitness youtubers! (Nikki Blackketter, GoGreenGoLean, Whitney Simmons, Maryana Dvorska)
Fourth-Instead of fasting for days at a time I will be doing one meal a day (OMAD). Instead of eating with my coworkers I’ve chosen to go on a two mile walk.
Fifth-Enjoy myself on the weekends without feeling a terrible amount of shame and guilt when I go over my TDEE. I’m hoping working out will mitigate these emotions.
I’m genuinely trying to care about my health this year more than the weight on the scale. Not to say that people in the fitness industry don’t have their own version of ED’s in my opinion. I would like to have a lean but tone body, I don’t want to be only skin and bones. Even when I lost all this weight this past summer I wasn’t very happy with how I looked.
What are everybody else’s 2018 goals?
I started a binge now I can’t stop.
/u/carsandbands
Created: Wed Jan 10 20:20:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pl7zg/i_started_a_binge_now_i_cant_stop/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I'm falling back down this hole and I miss being at my worst.
/u/JayLenoBlows [6'1" | 151lbs | 19.9bmi | GW 125 | trans woman]
Created: Wed Jan 10 20:14:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pl6pe/im_falling_back_down_this_hole_and_i_miss_being/
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When I was at my lowest weight, I was 5'10" and 121lbs. I can't tell if I hate myself more for feeling so weak now (because I'm not at that weight anymore) or for wanting to be right back down there. Borderline PD is killing me slowly and I wish it'd hurry the fuck up at this point, I got out of inpatient in mid December and I want to go back. Does anyone else have similar problems making up their mind to give in or to keep struggling?
[Rant/Rave] I was doing so well but today I had no control
/u/AirmansGirl [5'5 | CW 128 | GW 111| 26F]
Created: Wed Jan 10 19:25:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pkvzh/i_was_doing_so_well_but_today_i_had_no_control/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Ready for another EC stack post?
/u/BrabyBusiness [5'1|110lbs|25F 🦂]
Created: Wed Jan 10 19:05:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pkru0/ready_for_another_ec_stack_post/
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[removed]
[Discussion] For those who eat when they’re bored...
/u/LittleCritterCR [5'2.5'' | 23F | GW: 115]
Created: Wed Jan 10 18:55:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pkpkh/for_those_who_eat_when_theyre_bored/
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I tend to eat when I’m bored. How do you get your mind off food? I love food so much.
[Rant/Rave] Ugh fuck
/u/wolfcries
Created: Wed Jan 10 18:25:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pkiy6/ugh_fuck/
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[removed]
[Help] How to not project my own bullshit onto my boyfriend???
/u/desperate_housecat [5'2" | CW: 125?? GW: 115 UGW: 108 | 22F]
Created: Wed Jan 10 18:10:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pkfqz/how_to_not_project_my_own_bullshit_onto_my/
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My bf has put on ~15lbs since we started dating a year ago. At first, it didn't bother me at all- I actually really liked that he was a little squisher. He's just so freaking cute. I've noticed, though, the further I spiral into this relapse, the more his weight bothers me. I feel fucking awful about it. He's 6'3" and 195, so it's not like he's actually fat. I know that it's just my own bullshit.
Has anyone else experienced this?? I can't stand the thought of hurting him because of my own fucked up body issues. Heeeeeeelp :(
[Rant/Rave] My body is spiting me
/u/UnwholesomeEve
Created: Wed Jan 10 18:03:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pke0m/my_body_is_spiting_me/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I posted a food diary post on my personal Instagram w a caption talking about calorie counting
/u/Idunnoking [5’1 | CW90.6| GW95 | 16F✨]
Created: Wed Jan 10 17:53:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pkbt4/i_posted_a_food_diary_post_on_my_personal/
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[removed]
[Help] Helpful Apps?
/u/tinyme23 [5'3" | 130 | -42 lbs | F | 🍑: @lemonie]
Created: Wed Jan 10 17:39:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pk8mk/helpful_apps/
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Okay, so I know all the common ones - MyFitnessPal is a godsend, and Peach is where my lovelies live :) I even have Days Since to track fasts (and just downloaded Zero to track fasts).
What other apps do you guys use? Any good motivational ones?
[Other] I feel all of these in a certain way.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 10 17:25:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pk5cz/i_feel_all_of_these_in_a_certain_way/
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https://i.redd.it/srivyg0n1c901.jpg
I feel this all too well.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 10 17:24:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pk4xx/i_feel_this_all_too_well/
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https://i.redd.it/0p463cec1c901.jpg
[Rant/Rave] My ed is ruining my relationship :(
/u/katya_del_rey
Created: Wed Jan 10 17:03:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pjzl2/my_ed_is_ruining_my_relationship/
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I started seeing a guy a month ago, and he’s the sweetest most compassionate guy in the world. He cares about me and wants to see me succeed alongside him, but I just can’t. My ed is holding me back hard. All I want to do is escape from everything, my emotions, my thoughts, my daily physical pain.
He doesn’t deserve me, and I push him away as much as I can. Well not me, my disorder. If it were up to me I’d be getting better for him and actually try to live a long and healthy life alongside him, but I guess I’m just tainted. Tainted by thoughts I developed over years and years that can’t just go away in an instant.
I feel awful. He cares about me so much, and yet I couldn’t give a rat’s ass if I died tomorrow. It’s truly an awful situation I am in 😔
[Rant/Rave] Holy shit. I don’t know what to think rn.
/u/davincisunflower [5'7 | 115 | 18 | GW 100]
Created: Wed Jan 10 17:00:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pjyrd/holy_shit_i_dont_know_what_to_think_rn/
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So I briefly dated this guy at the beginning of the school year who ended up kinda hurting me. We are still in the same friend group though, so most of our interactions now are just trying to avoid making awkward eye contact and completely ignoring each other. I don’t think he knows I have an ED unless he’s guessed. He’s in wrestling, which is known for having a really bad ED/diet culture surrounding it
Today I saw him in the hallway. I was walking with my friend and they stopped to talk to each other. I was trying not to look him in the eye so I was just awkwardly staring into space when my eyes caught his hand. HE HAS THE BULIMIC KNUCKLES. WITH CLEAR BITE/TEETH MARKS. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I’m probably over analyzing this and freaking out too much rn, but now I feel like I NEED to talk to him.
But I don’t know how? How do I even start a conversation like that- we haven’t talked since September.
[Rant/Rave] Unintentional inspiration at the gym
/u/IndigoSeasons [5'9" | CW 138 | CGW 118 | BMI 20 | Female]
Created: Wed Jan 10 16:46:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pjv94/unintentional_inspiration_at_the_gym/
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i have recently gone back to the gym after 3 hardcore weeks of fasting.
the man who owns the gym, and is totally fit, approaches me and tells me: “wow! i haven’t seen you in a while, but you have tightened up even more. my gosh, you look fantastic. keep it up, good girl!”
i feel happy.
starving myself ftw.
[Rant/Rave] I fucked up badly today and I'm trying to not let it get me down + racism rant.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW: 139.0 | UGW 105 | 25/F]
Created: Wed Jan 10 15:17:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pj9hf/i_fucked_up_badly_today_and_im_trying_to_not_let/
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We're having our house exterior painted by a family friend. He's staying with us and is using my mom's bedroom. She's using my brother's and my brother is in my room. My whole space feels invaded. Also, the only working bathroom is in my mom's room aka where he's staying. I always hated having people stay in our house.
My whole routine has been upended and it stressed me out so badly. I'm already up 4 pounds because I haven't pooped and my period is due tomorrow aka pre-period bloating.
I like to have time to myself, but won't have any until Sunday. I didn't know I was helping with the house, so I'm been cleaning and moving stuff all day.
They're is stuff in the kitchen and I can't cook or even have my safe foods. So I'm eaten a bag of shredded coconut and arious pantry items. Over my TDEE a lot probably and can't even use laxatives right now either.
I've survived in the middle of a jungle during a violent civil war and being totally lost. Zero stress during that time. I'm calm in chaos. I have ER doctor style patience during trouble. But a fucking house painting is causing anxiety through the roof.
I had done so well this year and I feel like garbage today. My only solution is not to eat until he's gone.That's my only answer.
He's also pro-Trump and very tinfoil hat. We're a Bernie Sanders household. He's a good guy overall, but I swear if he brings up the wall or immigration or something stupid, I'm going to tell him my illegal Mexican, Muslim, gay best friend is coming over (I know of no such person). We live an hour from Mexico: if you don't like Mexicans you're in the wrong place! This was part of Mexico until we took it. -end random rant-
EDIT: I try to find the good in all people and was glad I was mistaken today. Yes, he's pro-Trump and not where I align politically, but he's a good person overall. I don't agree with a lot of his stuff, but we had a nice long conversation. He's also in the obscure sport I'm in and it was actually kinda nice to have a political debate without it getting bad. I called myself a heathen liberal and he just laughed and said that's cool and he hopes I still change the world for the better. After so much political shit in the world lately, it was nice to have a deep conversation and end on a good note. He's currently playing the ukelele and brought over pot brownies for my family (he runs a pot business). I'm looking wayy too deep into this because I maaayy have had a brownie, but I hate that I set myself up to not like him before I even talked to him. I always tell my brother there is something good about everyone and I didn't follow that.
[Help] Lax making me puke? TMI & Question
/u/artful_heart [5'7.5 | CW 96.5 | GW1 95 | GW2 92 | UGW 88 | BMI 14.78 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 10 15:16:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pj92f/lax_making_me_puke_tmi_question/
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I took 3 Dulcolax last night - not on an empty stomach - since I haven't pooped in over a week and a half and I could *feel* the need to do so, but couldn't.
The good news is, I've not stopped shitting since 10pm last night, save finally getting some sleep between 930am and 3pm. Woke up, still shitting. Did not go into work today.
But... starting around 6am, I was vomiting. Like, profuse, full-strength, power-vomiting. It emptied my stomach and lasted for about three hours, before I fell asleep due to the sheer exhaustion from the night's "fun." It wasn't purging - I didn't do it on purpose. My body insisted.
Has anyone else taken laxatives and then puked their guts out??? Did I overdose?
[Rant/Rave] I want to die rn
/u/davincisunflower [5'7 | 115 | 18 | GW 100]
Created: Wed Jan 10 15:13:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pj8ft/i_want_to_die_rn/
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Do you ever feel like you look ok but then see a pic of yourself and feel like a whale?
Today my friend posted a picture of me on his story and I looked SO FUCKING AWFUL. I told him to take it down so many times and he just laughed at me. A normal person would’ve been able to take that as a joke. Why can’t I just not care about my weight?
[Rant/Rave] Laxatives at work
/u/almondsRsessy [5'10" | 142 | -15 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 10 14:29:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7piwp5/laxatives_at_work/
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So, I hadnt pooped in 4 days, and Id been extremely lax about my intake. Id been eating bread, for one, and sugar. I decided yesterday that it would be best to get all this shit out of me.
So, I brewed up a big strong cup of smooth move tea. The box said 6-12 hours, and I had about 12 hours until work. I figured this would be more gentle than traditional laxative, and I would be clean and shiny on the inside by the time I got in to work this morning.
I was wrong. Terribly, horribly wrong. I peed from my butt in the work bathroom, guys. I rushed off abruptly to the restroom right in front of my coworkers multiple times.
At this point though, I really just dont care about it enough to be embarrassed. I do feel a lot less bloated, so Im not mad about it.
Also I lost 5 lbs of shit.
[Other] Weed is both my savior and my downfall
/u/Just-That-Other-Guy [5'11" | CW: 148 lbs | BMI: 20.6 | SW: 230 lbs | -82 lbs]
Created: Wed Jan 10 14:19:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7piu5t/weed_is_both_my_savior_and_my_downfall/
---
I feel great on thc. I don't give a damn about what I'm eating and can just shovel anything in my face with no worry, anxiety, over thinking, nausea, calorie counting, or anything when I'm high. But I can't be high all the time. When I'm not high I feel miserable about everything I ate when I had the munchies. I'm torn because I don't know what the right thing to do is. I feel like I could really beat this ED if I could just get past how miserable I feel once I'm sober. But stepping on that scale and seeing a higher weight or even just thinking about all the shit I ate makes me want to die. I feel like I'm choosing between being happy while high and suicidal while sober or just being miserable 24/7 and both options suck :(
[Rant/Rave] Halo Top suggestions please!
/u/DenyMyHunger [5'7"| Fat! | UGW:112| F]
Created: Wed Jan 10 14:02:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pipce/halo_top_suggestions_please/
---
I'm in the UK and while shopping today I had to double take when I seen Halo Top on the shelves! They had 7 flavours (Chocolate, chocolate chip cookie dough, cinnamon roll, mint choc, sea salt caramel, vanilla and peanut butter cup).
Only thing is they're expensive at £5 each. I usually spend no more than £2 on ice cream as its a very rare treat for me so I'm wondering, can any of you lovely people suggest a flavour for my first time buying it? I'd like to buy one that's popular and more likely I'll like so I don't waste money on it. I like mint so was thinking that one? For ice cream I like really indulgent, creamy flavours ( hence why I don't buy it a lot!)
Any and all suggestions welcome! :)
[Other] Saw this comic and it hit home
/u/x-ko [5'5" | 112.5 | 18.9 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 10 13:42:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pik53/saw_this_comic_and_it_hit_home/
---
http://shencomix.com/post/169548870669
[Rant/Rave] messing up my dieting/fasts - what causes you to mess up?
/u/vvesper [5'5.5'' | mirror mirror | F]
Created: Wed Jan 10 13:24:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pifcp/messing_up_my_dietingfasts_what_causes_you_to/
---
[removed]
[Other] To anyone concerned about getting a physical check up
/u/c_marier [5'6"| 111.8 | BMI 18 | 23F]
Created: Wed Jan 10 13:21:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pieky/to_anyone_concerned_about_getting_a_physical/
---
I just went in for my first one in probably two years and I've definitely lost some weight since then. They weighed me in, calculated my BMI to be 18, confirmed that I am 5'6" (WOOHOO, I had tried to measure my height a while ago and thought it was more like 5'5.5" and was devastated because that wrecked my BMI, but I trust the Dr's measurements and am so happy rn). The doctor looked over my stats and said everything looked in order.
Not. One. Word. About me being underweight.
I even told her that I was only eating one meal a day (my husband insisted I get the ok from her for my "intermittent fasting") and she was all "Yeah, that's cool, just stay hydrated and eat something if you feel shaky."
BOOM. DONE. Easy.
Also, as a bonus, after the nurse left the room, I quietly stripped down and weighed myself again and was a WHOLE POUND LIGHTER AND I TRUST THEIR SCALES BECAUSE IT'S A FRICKING DR OFFICE AND THIS MADE ME HAPPY.
That's all, friends. Get your physical check up. Can only help (in 99.9% of cases, ofc. I'm sure there are instances where my advice does not apply)
[Help] DAE think they're underestimating the amount of calories they're eating
/u/myrtlewils0n [21F | 5'4 | HW 141 | CW 127 | GW 108]
Created: Wed Jan 10 12:36:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pi29m/dae_think_theyre_underestimating_the_amount_of/
---
Logically in my head I'm like "I know I gotta eat more, two scrambled eggs isn't enough food for a whole day" but then here comes the asshole side of my brain like "don't you think you're tallying your calories wrong? Maybe that's why you're still fat."
Any tips to combat this?
[Other] Searching for mood enhancing supplements
/u/skinnykitty1 [5'5'' | 124.7 | 20.8 | UGW: 115 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 10 12:01:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7phsoo/searching_for_mood_enhancing_supplements/
---
As the title suggests, I've been researching some mood enhancing supplements for myself, and ran across rhodiola. I wanted to share this tidbit that I found pretty fascinating!
["... that ingestion of rhodiola or its active component can reduce stress-induced binge eating in female rats."](https://examine.com/supplements/rhodiola-rosea/)
[Effect of salidroside, active principle of Rhodiola rosea extract, on binge eating.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20837037)
[Rant/Rave] I think I am getting better 😅
/u/themomofthegroup
Created: Wed Jan 10 11:16:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7phgz4/i_think_i_am_getting_better/
---
I am so happy. I have been forcing myself to not weigh in. It's really hard but I am still working out, drinking my green tea and logging my food on MyFitnessPal. But something has changed in my mind, I am eating only fruits and vegetables but enough that I get close to my healthy daily calorie intake. I don't know what's happening but I'm just going to roll with it.
[Other] New Diet Coke Flavors coming: Ginger Lime, Cherry, Blood Orange and Mango
/u/happymasq [5'6'' | CW 103.6 | BMI 16.79 | 26F]
Created: Wed Jan 10 11:14:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7phgbn/new_diet_coke_flavors_coming_ginger_lime_cherry/
---
http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/food-recipes/news/a47606/new-diet-coke-cans/
[Discussion] How do y’all suppress your appetite?
/u/Throwaway412160987
Created: Wed Jan 10 09:23:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pgnja/how_do_yall_suppress_your_appetite/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Do the calories in fruit count?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 10 08:07:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pg50l/do_the_calories_in_fruit_count/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pg50l/do_the_calories_in_fruit_count/
Pain while on EC stack + fasting
/u/gross9876 [5' 3" | 120 | 21.6 | not a girl]
Created: Wed Jan 10 07:29:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pfwgl/pain_while_on_ec_stack_fasting/
---
[removed]
[Help] Can’t Eat Due to Anxiety
/u/lost-in-an-echo [5'3" | CW: 87 | GW: 82 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 10 07:14:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pfth9/cant_eat_due_to_anxiety/
---
Hey all.
I don’t post much, I usually lurk. I just moved into a dorm for the first time (I’m a transfer student), and since I’ve been living in the dorms I’ve been in a constant state of anxiety. When I wake up I feel like I’m gonna throw up, and I can’t eat. This happens at night too.
I don’t have a scale with me, but I know I’m losing weight and I’m scared to lose too much. I look sick and people are giving me weird looks. I wanted to know if any of you have any tips or could offer advice in calming myself down and trying to eat? I can’t tell anyone about this but I know everyone here is really accepting, and I’d greatly appreciate any help.
[Rant/Rave] Big whoosh!
/u/peridoti [5'0 | 130 lb | F]
Created: Wed Jan 10 06:34:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pfl5r/big_whoosh/
---
I've had an ED for 7 years and have always lost weight in teeny tiny increments and gained weight in teeny tiny increments. But for some miraculous reason this month, I've just had NO TROUBLE high restricting and I've lost 10 pounds since December!!
It's so funny, I could never high restrict in the past and now it feels super easy. My brain is simultaneously telling me I'm both 'better' and 'worse' at my ED. But anyway, YAY FOR NAUSEA STARTING NEW MEDS.
[Rant/Rave] not suicidal, but I can't wait to die :)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 10 05:56:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pfe9y/not_suicidal_but_i_cant_wait_to_die/
---
[deleted]
About to embark on a day of binging.
/u/bodeciabb
Created: Wed Jan 10 05:22:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pf8ph/about_to_embark_on_a_day_of_binging/
---
[removed]
[Other] today's breakfast is one stick of poor decisionmaking 😍
/u/ladytulips [5'7'' | 119lbs | 18.6 | -30lbs | 19F]
Created: Wed Jan 10 05:13:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pf7bv/todays_breakfast_is_one_stick_of_poor/
---
https://i.redd.it/xbo443f2f8901.jpg
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! January 10, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jan 10 05:12:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pf6zp/daily_food_diary_january_10_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 10, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday January 10, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jan 10 05:11:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pf6t2/way_to_go_wednesday_january_10_2018/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for January 10, 2018.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
breakfast of champions
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 10 05:08:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pf6fp/breakfast_of_champions/
---
https://i.redd.it/tpkhfa95e8901.jpg
[Discussion] January 10th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 10 05:02:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pf5c9/january_10th_2018_question_of_the_day/
---
What inspired you today?
l o s e r t o w n
[Thinspo] So I'm in treatment and I get stuck behind this... fml
/u/crochetyhooker [5'8" | CW 187 |BMI 28 | 11lbs lost | Female]
Created: Wed Jan 10 04:43:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pf2bb/so_im_in_treatment_and_i_get_stuck_behind_this_fml/
---
https://i.redd.it/s22znzwm98901.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I feel gross when I'm complemented
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 10 02:37:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pejor/i_feel_gross_when_im_complemented/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] This is the part I like
/u/skythorned
Created: Wed Jan 10 00:34:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pe27q/this_is_the_part_i_like/
---
I haven't eaten in 48 hours and I feel so light, my head is buzzing, my stomach is filled with nothing but a pleasant ache. I get dizzy when I stand. I don't want it to end. I've dropped 4kg in a week.
This is the part I hate:
The headaches
And the fact that no one has noticed. I live with 3 other people, and half the time I cook for them and make sure they're all eating well. But for me there is no one. I do this more as self harm than as a lifestyle, I know I'll break in a week and go back to eating "" normally"" for a while. But just once I would actually like a friend to say hey. You take care of us all the time. Why don't you relax? When did you eat last? Etc.
But it won't happen, so I will just go until I break.
[Help] Tall girls with an ED
/u/blingbling-bitch
Created: Wed Jan 10 00:33:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pe22i/tall_girls_with_an_ed/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] A guy at work told me he was only 65kg
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Wed Jan 10 00:31:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pe1tt/a_guy_at_work_told_me_he_was_only_65kg/
---
[removed]
Well
/u/_JustANobody_
Created: Tue Jan 9 23:40:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pdtvd/well/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] DAE wish the “Little Bits” restaurant from “Rick & Morty” was real?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jan 9 23:07:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pdoal/dae_wish_the_little_bits_restaurant_from_rick/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] The relationship between size and weight isn't linear, right?
/u/gotanaoohnana
Created: Tue Jan 9 22:38:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pdj6y/the_relationship_between_size_and_weight_isnt/
---
It seems like:
* XS -> S = 7 lbs
* S -> M = 10lb
* XL -> 2XL = 20lb
What do you think? Experiences? I find it frustrating that at lower weights, every lb takes longer to drop. I realised that it seems to even out though, because sizes drop faster too.
[Rant/Rave] feeling shitty.
/u/deerb0y
Created: Tue Jan 9 22:18:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pdfih/feeling_shitty/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] New Starbucks drink?
/u/KellyRKapoor
Created: Tue Jan 9 22:17:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pdfck/new_starbucks_drink/
---
Has anyone found the nutrition info for the new blonde espresso? I’ll be heading back to school soon and I wanted to know if I can add it to my “safe” list because I live less than a quarter mile from my campus Starbucks 😭 I tried the company website but I haven’t found any specifics, probably a stupid question anyways because calories in black coffee are negligible buuut one can never be too careful
[Other] Conclusion about restricting
/u/iwillrunmylife
Created: Tue Jan 9 21:33:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pd6uh/conclusion_about_restricting/
---
I’ve come to the conclusion that whether I am binging or restricting I am constantly thinking about food so it’s simply just easier to restrict and think about/be obsessed with food than be binging and doing so. At least restricting is helpful towards my weight loss goals.
Honestly binging/purging is just as painful as restricting/being hungry is.
I guess I am choosing the lesser of two evils these days. Anyone feel the same?
[Discussion] Constantly comparing myself to...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jan 9 21:32:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pd6lf/constantly_comparing_myself_to/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Weird question about bloating/bulges? Around hip bones?
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Tue Jan 9 21:15:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pd344/weird_question_about_bloatingbulges_around_hip/
---
So this has been going for a while but lately really bothersome mentally. My stomach for the most part is kinda flat in the center, but on each side I have these elongated bulges on each side from under my ribs to my hip bone area. If I’ve been really restricting like eating nothing or taking lax is goes down a little. But I always have it. I just want my bones!!What gives!?!? Is this just bloating, does anyone else get this!?
[Rant/Rave] Recommitting myself to restriction, I'm fat af and dont belong anywhere.
/u/SpaceWhale88 [Height 5'3 | CW 180ish | HW/LW 197/118lbs | GW 136]
Created: Tue Jan 9 20:39:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pcvg9/recommitting_myself_to_restriction_im_fat_af_and/
---
Had the worst OA meeting tonight where everyone was just gushing about how God helps them so much. If god does exist then my life is a cruel fucking joke. I have lost control over bingeing and purging, I'm fat af, lonely af, and have no hope of getting better. I dont belong in OA. OA people say look for the coincidences in life but I only have bad ones.
I went for a walk to get new coils for my vape. So, I had just walked out of the OA meeting, had been crying, and I ran into my ex (if you could even call him that, I've never had a real bf, pathetic, I know). I am 15-20lbs heavier than 2 years ago when I knew him plus I was a big fucking crying mess. I bet he thought "Phew, dodged a bullet with a fat crazy bitch!"
Why does the universe want to punish me like this? I get so painfully jealous reading all these posts about people here in relationships then I remember that I dont fit in or belong in this sub either bc I'm so fucking obese I have to hold my huge gut up just to shave my bikini area. Typing that out makes me want to slit my wrists. I never thought I'd get this fat.
I really want to binge. Like really really really. But I know I'll just hate myself even more. I want to want to starve. I need to lose this weight and as long as I keep b/p I'm going to stay fat and not belong anywhere.
[Help] Does purging make you really cold?
/u/Glazed9000 [5'7' | 125 |]
Created: Tue Jan 9 20:10:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pcp89/does_purging_make_you_really_cold/
---
I don't normally purge, but I binged and purged yesterday and today. Now I'm freezing and it's not from weight loss, because I weigh the same.
[Discussion] So like does anyone else switch back and forth and feel conflicted about how they really want they're body too look??
/u/andeeeey
Created: Tue Jan 9 19:38:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pci43/so_like_does_anyone_else_switch_back_and_forth/
---
Sometimes when I'm on instagram or Pinterest I see really thin models and I'm like I need a thigh gap, I need to stay thin. Then I see all the fit models with big booties and thick thighs and think it wouldn't be bad to have a butt and to be thicc. I'm like stuck in between, I think I'm always going to stay thin though I'm to stuck in my ed ways but sometimes it would be nice to have some sort of curves to me.
[Other] New milestone reached - purged in a public bathroom for the first time
/u/oneblueboot [5' 7.5" | CW 122 lbs | GW 112 | 18.8 | 26F]
Created: Tue Jan 9 19:29:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pcg8z/new_milestone_reached_purged_in_a_public_bathroom/
---
Binged on stupid food while I was studying and thought I’d be able to manage the guilt by spending some extra time at the university gym. Nope!
Instead I find myself bent over a locker room toilet drooling onto my hand, praying desperately for whoever just walked in to HANG UP THE DAMN PHONE AND CHANGE INTO YOUR ACTIVE WEAR ALREADY AND LEAVE ME TO THROW UP IN PEACE.
Aren’t eating disorders ~glamorous~? Ugh.
[Help] Hey what BMI would you say this girl is?
/u/davincisunflower [5'7 | 115 | 18 | GW 100]
Created: Tue Jan 9 19:24:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pcf1y/hey_what_bmi_would_you_say_this_girl_is/
---
https://i.redd.it/3ylrltrvh5901.jpg
[Other] Afraid to drink water??
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW:142 |CW:120 |19.7 |GW:110 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 9 19:13:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pccn6/afraid_to_drink_water/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I was maintaining for the day. Cue a Dominos binge and attempted purge.
/u/Elope
Created: Tue Jan 9 19:04:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pcaoz/i_was_maintaining_for_the_day_cue_a_dominos_binge/
---
I can't even purge. I cut the back of my throat with a toothbrush and feel like death. Pretty sure everyone in the house heard me too.
Didn't vomit up a damn thing.
I cannot describe how fucking disgusting I feel. It's literally like a layer of sludge clinging to my skin. I feel like a swamp. A noxious ball of self hate and regret.
I tried to fight it. Most times I just let it happen, but this time I actually tried. And that makes it so much harder. I have very little hope that I will ever be happy.
Food has pretty much ruined my life. I can't even fucking talk to anyone about it because its too damn embarrassing. No one takes binging seriously. I'm "thin", but I literally cannot lose the fat I have because of binge/restrict cycles. I'm frozen in time with the ten or so pounds that are the key to all my misery. I feel like I'm an addict, and sometimes I wish it was to something that people had some degree of respect for. I'm pretty much addicted to food. Good for me.
Light some candles for my attempt at fasting tomorrow <3
[Help] Please help me. I almost fainted at work.
/u/-Deadgirlwalking
Created: Tue Jan 9 18:32:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pc3fk/please_help_me_i_almost_fainted_at_work/
---
I have relapsed, it sucks, but its happened. I haven't had food for 3 fucking days and my job is pretty strenuous. I am a home health and hospice aide. Today I was at a clients house changing his bed and I nearly fainted. Its embarrassing I used to be able to fast for a week at a time. Does anyone else here have a physically demanding job where they can't afford to fast during the week? If you do; What do you have for lunch? I am really happy with my job, I'd hate to lose it.
[Help] what to do when friends want to go out to dinner??
/u/starkslut
Created: Tue Jan 9 18:24:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pc1s6/what_to_do_when_friends_want_to_go_out_to_dinner/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Body dysmorphia and compulsively buying + throwing out new clothes
/u/polemia [5'8 | CW 112 | 17.4 | 23F]
Created: Tue Jan 9 18:18:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pc0hh/body_dysmorphia_and_compulsively_buying_throwing/
---
I almost posted this in /r/BodyDysmorphia but I think it'll get more discussion here since most people with eating disorders have issues with self esteem and body image.
When my dysmorphia is particularly severe, I feel like not only lose the ability to discern what my body looks like, but whether my clothes "flatter" let alone fit my body. I can't even tell whether I like what I'm wearing, or if a piece of clothing will draw a lot of attention because it doesn't fit, is ugly or garish, makes me look ridiculous, etc.
Because of this I frequently purge my closet and impulsively throw things out (ie donate) thinking this will make me dress in a way that makes me feel and look better, but it never really helps.
I also find myself frequently buying new clothes that I don't particularly want or need--nothing too extravagant or expensive, just completely unnecessary-- It's like this compulsive NEED to have something new, as if it'll fix the way I think about my body and myself.
I'm familiar with most eating disorder behaviors, particularly cycles of binging and purging, and these seem really aptly comparable to my behaviors with clothes.
I guess I'd like to hear from other folks who've observed similar intersections between their body image and non food-related behaviors.
TLDR: My body dysmorphia extends to my clothes, making me compulsively get rid of them and buy new ones.
[Discussion] January 9th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 9 17:42:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pbs7q/january_9th_2018_question_of_the_day/
---
Was today typical? Why or why not?
Not! I *finally* got a consult with an orthopedic surgeon and we set up an action plan for my hip treatment 🎉🎊
[Rant/Rave] DAE struggle with relationships?
/u/crybabyyyy [165cm|CW:58kg|GW:45kg|F]
Created: Tue Jan 9 17:26:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pboj7/dae_struggle_with_relationships/
---
Basically my friends (and brother) have encouraged me to use apps like Tinder and Bumble to talk to people/find someone. But the problem is that I’m pretty sure I’m asexual, have shit self esteem (I’m ugly af), am pretty fucked up (pretty sure i have some mental health issues but I’ve never been diagnosed so I don’t know for sure) and just feel like I’m too fat to ever be with someone although I would like to try. I’m also a complete and utter virgin at 19 lol I’ve never kissed anyone or had a boyfriend and most people think that I’m a lesbian.
Also I get super duper nervous talking to people thinking I’m going to socially fuck up and it’s just stressful and I just want someone to relate to lol
Sorry if it doesn’t exactly fit in this sub I just didn’t know where else to post it, I feel like you guys would probably be able to relate more?
EDIT: would just like to thank everyone that's taken the time to read this or read and reply like honestly you're all amazing and I hope everything ends up working out for you all because you're all amazing, lovely and the sweetest people! xx
[Discussion] Favorite lifestyle youtuber?
/u/ABlueSongbird
Created: Tue Jan 9 17:17:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pbmdb/favorite_lifestyle_youtuber/
---
I know this doesn’t have much to do with ED but I’m pretty sure a lot of us try to have a good life besides our eating disorder. We try not to let our disorder block us and try to exercise regularly, try to eat healthy fresh food, and be the best student or worker we can be.
So is there any youtuber who inspires you and helps you make your life the best it can be?
For me it’s “fiercelivy” she’s extremely positive and gives great advice for diet, exercise, and life.
[Discussion] DAE wonder how the hell 'normal people' function?
/u/bmddx
Created: Tue Jan 9 17:02:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pbio1/dae_wonder_how_the_hell_normal_people_function/
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like, really. i watched someone down four cosmic brownies (280 each) today in a ten minute span without the slightest trace of guilt. a classmate put on their snapchat story for what must be the fourth time in the past week that they're eating out at buffalo wild wings. people bring large frappés & COLOSSAL bags of hot cheetos to class as SNACKS, & i'm just sitting here trying not to think about my 100 calorie lunch that i already feel bad about eating & whether or not treating myself to one skinny makeshift parfait would cause me to inflate like crazy. how do these people do it. it's genuinely mind-boggling.
[Discussion] What do you say/do when people notice your weight loss?
/u/daughterofpolonius [5'6 | 155 | 25 | -95 | F/27]
Created: Tue Jan 9 16:58:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pbho8/what_do_you_saydo_when_people_notice_your_weight/
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Inspired by a recent post here. I always get super awkward when people comment on my weight loss, and I usually deny it (???). What do y’all do in that situation?
[Discussion] Is anyone else absolutely disgusted with buzzfeed recipes?
/u/hopeless_anon
Created: Tue Jan 9 16:48:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pbf75/is_anyone_else_absolutely_disgusted_with_buzzfeed/
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Like I see them on facebook all the time and would never make most of them. They just use SO much cheese and butter, and the desserts are just overkill. Like who the fuck wants to eat a pound of cheese in one meal and 7 macaroni noodles in a single meal?
edit: I just realized this post seemed kinda bitchy, so sorry about that fam. Also, I LOVE junk foods. But I usually recreate a version that isn't just so extra.
ex. average grilled cheese: 240cal
2 slices yummy whole grain bread: 160
slice of cheese: 80
Whereas buzzfeed would add 4 slices of cheese and 1 T of butter to each slice of bread, making it a 680cal grilled cheese.
[Help] EDs and mourning? Could use some advice
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 9 16:48:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pbezr/eds_and_mourning_could_use_some_advice/
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I was all ready to go back to my normal eating schedule January 1st because I knew I gained some weight over the holidays....but then there was a death in my family and I’m at my parents’ house for the funeral and all they want to do is eat eat eat and I’ve been constantly surrounded by food and I just can’t handle this feeling of getting fat but I also can’t stop myself from binging and I just don’t know what to do. I’ve been eating slightly above maintenance and not working out and then i feel sick from eating and guilty for doing this to myself and every day I say tomorrow I’ll get it together but I never do and I’m so desperate for something to change but I don’t know how. Please help.
[Other] Did anyone else’s Secret Santa package not come in the mail?
/u/oxygens_overrated [5'4|HW:150|CW:147|LW:113|GW:125 |F| ]
Created: Tue Jan 9 16:47:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pbeze/did_anyone_elses_secret_santa_package_not_come_in/
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I’m kinda bummed since I was looking forward to it so much, but I just hope whoever received the package I sent is enjoying it :) ❤️
[Discussion] Does anyone else's boyfriend say dumb shit??
/u/throwaway254411
Created: Tue Jan 9 16:31:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pbb2m/does_anyone_elses_boyfriend_say_dumb_shit/
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On mobile, can't flair.
Although I love my boyfriend, he says dumb shit a lot. He probably doesn't even realise it, but he has triggered me a few times already. But today... Well, let's just say I was so bitter(??) I focused all my feelings into my workout.
Basically I told him that my friend and I are looking to join a gym, he asks what I'm planning to do and I say strength training, so he said "I thought you wanted to lose weight". WHAT?? ARE YOU SAYING I *SHOULD* LOSE WEIGHT?? And then he asked if I've tried some HIIT workouts and I said yes because I do HIIT a lot actually, and he was like "yes?". WHAT, YOU CAN'T BELIEVE IT?
I mean I told him I wanted to lose weight a few months ago, but I'm still "triggered"
[Rant/Rave] Today I binged, then purged, for the first time in a very long time.
/u/nachosurfer
Created: Tue Jan 9 16:24:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pb9d9/today_i_binged_then_purged_for_the_first_time_in/
---
I’ve suffered from disordered eating since I was 13. Am now 25. I’ve “tried” all the different disorders, and have been up and down this path many times. I’ve been trying to get better while at the same time loosing weight from some very unrestricted binge eating many years back. Well, tonight, I fucked up. I started my period today, and have been doing well sticking to my “diet”, (AKA eating 1.200 net calories or less till I’m not a lard ass anymore, then I’ll work on maintaining.) Well, a little bit ago I binged on some of the pulled pork I made for my boyfriend for dinner, then SO. MUCH. CHOCOLATE. After about 800 calories went into my maw I realized what I was doing and the sudden regret hit me like a ton of bricks. And, for the first time in a long time, that little voice in my head spoke up. *You fat pig. You think your boyfriend will still want you when you balloon back up to 300 lbs?* So I calmly walked into the bathroom and purged till I couldn’t anymore. I hate that I’m this way. I hate that I can estimate the calories in a dish just by looking at it. I hate being obsessed with food and my body. Therapy was no help to me. I don’t want to get bad again but at the same time I’m almost... proud of myself, for this. Ughhhhh. Thanks to anyone who actually reads my rant/ramble.
[Help] How long does water retention last?
/u/Brizyse [5'5"|CW:Too Many|UGW:115|17F]
Created: Tue Jan 9 14:56:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pamsn/how_long_does_water_retention_last/
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So I'm actually in tears right now because the scale won't go down. I had a ~4000 calorie binge a couple days ago and I know that I couldn't have gained 5lbs from that. I know that water retention is really bad the first day but it's been almost three days. I restrict to 800 calories maximum a day and I already fucking hate myself and this is just throwing me over the edge. I can starve myself for weeks and lose seemingly nothing but I eat 4000 calories one time and I gain 5lbs in one day. This is just awful. I want to die. How long does this last and how much water should I drink to get this sorted out? Or did I really gain five pounds from 4000 calories?
Anyone on Kik
/u/boohochix
Created: Tue Jan 9 14:53:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7palwa/anyone_on_kik/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] 8000% Done
/u/throwaway002300 [25F | 5’3 | CW 102 | BMI 18 | GW ???]
Created: Tue Jan 9 14:48:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pakgo/8000_done/
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[removed]
[Help] Dammit dammit DAMMIT!!
/u/Therinnyone
Created: Tue Jan 9 14:41:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7paiod/dammit_dammit_dammit/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I've lost over 50lbs in the past year and no one has noticed
/u/sogyosha
Created: Tue Jan 9 14:35:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pah25/ive_lost_over_50lbs_in_the_past_year_and_no_one/
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I'm mostly just perplexed. Like people never notice when my appearance changes and it sucks. I chopped off my hair last year, like at least 6 inches and no one commented on it. I've lost 50 lbs since last year and not one comment. What's a girl gotta do!!! Mostly I just want proof that it actually happened and I'm not just making it up yknow. I wonder if they notice but don't mention it. God it's really pissing me off, like how much more until people at least notice a little change? Uuuugh.
[Rant/Rave] My hospital is fucking stupid
/u/hopeless_anon
Created: Tue Jan 9 14:00:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7pa7pu/my_hospital_is_fucking_stupid/
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New throwaway account bc my last one was getting lots of hate messages for being a poster on this sub. But I've come to rant today.
I'm now thinking about recovery and honestly, on the weekend I am driving back to the hospital to get help because I just can't live like this anymore.
The other day I had an unrelated surgery and they fucking discharged me immediately- like before I could even walk around. I had a BMI of fucking 15 and a heart rate in the 40's. Why wouldn't they just help me, I'm just going to go back myself in a few more days or my doctor is going to send me back in a few days because it's gone too far and I can't fix it myself.
[Rant/Rave] concentrating on academics while restricting
/u/sleep-iest
Created: Tue Jan 9 12:42:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p9n6f/concentrating_on_academics_while_restricting/
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Hello, I’ve never posted on reddit and am new to this sub. I just wanted to express my frustration trying to focus while restricting. I’m a student with research interests in EDs and am currently revising a paper on the topic for a publication. While I’m excited to write it and about the opportunity to be published, I’ve been restricting p heavily this week which has definitely been hurting my concentration.
I feel so frustrated because I really need to finish this paper by today, so I broke my fast and ate a “full” meal to give myself energy. Normally feeling hungry can keep me focused and alert, but lately I’ve just been tired and distracted. I’m nervous that it’s not going to make a difference I’m still going to lack the energy to finish this paper (aka I’m lazy) so I just wasted a meal.
Sorry idk if this makes any sense and if it follows the rules, but I appreciate finding this supportive community
[Rant/Rave] I've been trying so hard not to purge and I failed today.
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 134.8 | BMI: 26 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26F]
Created: Tue Jan 9 12:40:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p9mn4/ive_been_trying_so_hard_not_to_purge_and_i_failed/
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I had to go out for a business lunch today with my boss to celebrate some apparently really good work that my team did last month.
We went to my favorite Mexican restaurant.
I had totally forgotten about it and brought my 200 calorie lunch as usual and then I remembered, so I looked up the menu and decided to get a salad with no meat and no dressing.
That didn't happen.
Everyone was getting such normal food like burritos and tacos and I felt like such a freak and just wanted to have a fucking normal meal so I got shrimp tacos- they're my favorite. Shrimp is low cal. I used less than half of the tortillas they gave me, ate the beans and left the rice. I probably consumed like 600-800 calories knowing restaurants. I hadn't even eaten anything yet today and I probably could've still had a small dinner and stayed under maintenance.
And then I came back to the office and threw it all up. You can tell I threw it up. My face is puffy, a different kind of puffy than when you've been crying. I was covered in snot. I've had a cigarette and a coke zero and calmed down now, and my stomach feels a lot better but I don't know if I can even accurately describe how uncomfortably full I felt, there was just this compulsive need to get it all out.
It wasn't even that much food, it was that I DIDN'T PLAN THAT FOOD. I didn't know what was in that food. It definitely wouldn't qualify as a binge, that's a normal meal that a normal person would order in a restaurant and I didn't even eat all of it.
I don't know what to do. I feel like shit and I can't concentrate on work now, my head is so foggy. I haven't purged in over a month until today. The worst part is I'm still stressing about how many calories I actually left in my body and I want to go back for a second round but I'm forcing myself not to.
I feel like I'm failing. I am not bulimic. This is not something that I do on a regular basis. I don't know what about it made me feel like I needed to purge- not knowing the calories, not expecting the meal, my stomach feeling full, probably a combination of all 3.
I just needed to vent because I feel like such a piece of shit right now.
[Help] Will a doctor commit me/ do anything to stop me if I tell them I have an ED?
/u/imsorryigotmadatyou [5'1" | 118 | 23 |0 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 9 12:36:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p9ll7/will_a_doctor_commit_me_do_anything_to_stop_me_if/
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So I'm going to the doctor's tomorrow for IBS-related symptoms but I'm also worried it could be a problem with my pancreas because of other symptoms I've been having. Should I tell the doctor I'm anorexic? I want her to be fully informed but I also don't want her to stop me.
Ideally I want the best care available, so telling her would help her be more informed about my problems, but I don't want to be sent to a mental hospital lol
[Rant/Rave] The only way I lose weight is starving myself.
/u/afraidofjudgement [4'9 | 103 | 21.5 | -57 | F |]
Created: Tue Jan 9 12:35:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p9lbp/the_only_way_i_lose_weight_is_starving_myself/
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I've been attempting a recovery, but, lose weight in a healthy manner by 1200 daily + exercise. Well, honestly I just switched fasting/low restriction to over exercising. My fitbit has me at 12 hours I've exercised last week. I thought it was normal, apparently others do not. I have to make a 500-1000-cal deficit everyday.
The thing is I'm pretty sure my body is broken. I'm so tired of reading everywhere that you can lose weight at 1200. Even if you're short and sedentary! For three weeks now I've maintained 102-103.
I've been trying so hard to be healthy, I've been trying so hard to ignore the bad thoughts I have away. But, it's starting to look like my thoughts are right. Starving myself is the only way. I want to be better, but, at the same time I don't want to be. Eating nothing is so much better than slaving away everyday. And for what? Nothing.
edit to add: the only good thing from this is i poop everyday now. I guess there is always good in the bad!
[Rant/Rave] My Friend Told Me I Looked Like I Had in High School
/u/Rickticia [5'2| 131.7 lbs |24.95|-18.3|GW2:125|20F]
Created: Tue Jan 9 12:15:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p9g0a/my_friend_told_me_i_looked_like_i_had_in_high/
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This made me so happy at first. She’s really skinny (such goals), so that made it even better. She very nicely put it that I had started looking “Old Hollywood” when I went off to college—in other words, I had gained a lot of very noticeable weight and just happened to wear red lipstick and winged eyeliner—but that now I was looking the same weight as before.
In other words, I fought off my freshman 30 and won! But...in high school I was at the highest end of a normal BMI, meaning I’m still a fat fuck. Meaning I still have lots of weight to lose. It gave me mixed feelings because I’m proud of hitting a healthy weight, but it’s by no means enough.
[Help] Random weight gain?
/u/Brickly2017 [5'7" | 115 and staying | BMI 18 | -17 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 9 12:00:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p9bgh/random_weight_gain/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] He said he liked really skinny girls before he corrected himself
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 147lb | 21.32 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 9 11:53:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p99rk/he_said_he_liked_really_skinny_girls_before_he/
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So I found this guy on Tinder last week. I was in rare form so I went on and matched quickly with a few guys (big city, don't go on much so they build up) and we had a back and forth pretty much as soon as we matched. He asked a silly question and I was sarcastic and then he asked if I wanted to meet up the next night. I said sure and we got to dirty talking and I sent him a photo without my face and he was excited. The next night it was so cold I decided to screw meeting for dinner and just invited him over to my place since it was heavily implied we'd end up there anyway. It worked out, we had fun, he's pretty good in terms of what I like and he's funny so not a bad combination for a fwb and I'm in need of one who is more available and lives not too far. We got around to talking about why we matched and while I didn't have a good answer, he started talking about his criteria. First he said just overall pretty girls and said I was in that category, then he said he likes really skinny girls, my heart flipped because it's great motivation but also because I didn't fit into that one for him already which sucked, and then he went to move on when he thought about it for a second and said fit instead. I think it was for political correctness reasons and he thought being in the presence of a girl he needed to change it, but I was all about what he said the first time. I can't get it out of my mind. Before he left he told me to let him know if I wanted to do it again and I said the same and honestly wasn't sure I'd hear from him again. Until Sunday when he asked if I wanted to meet tonight. I said yes and now I'm feeling super bloated and just overall unhappy about myself, not that I liked what I was when he saw me last time, but I went up on the scale this morning and just feel shitty. I just keep hearing "really skinny girls"
[Other] I don't think buzzfeed posted it for this purpose, but I relate to these on a daily basis
/u/flightlesspotato [5'5 | CW: 127 | 21.0]
Created: Tue Jan 9 11:34:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p94lm/i_dont_think_buzzfeed_posted_it_for_this_purpose/
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https://www.buzzfeed.com/carolynkylstra/tears-of-joy-and-sorrow?utm_term=.scWnV2zdx#.rjR7Ze2Kw
What to have for dinner??
/u/gothicapples
Created: Tue Jan 9 11:33:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p94ch/what_to_have_for_dinner/
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[removed]
[Help] Office Manager noticed... And I'm not sure how to feel.
/u/fieryanxiety [5'7" | CW 119 | BMI 19| HW 159 | GW 110]
Created: Tue Jan 9 11:24:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p91us/office_manager_noticed_and_im_not_sure_how_to_feel/
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If any of you guys are like me, you fantasize about people noticing your weight loss. Whether you ACTUALLY want the attention or not. Well that literally just happened to me.
Over the past month or so, my BMI has dropped from 21 to 19 (12 lbs at my height) Let me also add that everyone else at my office is well overweight.
So I got up to the fax machine and my office manager was like "Are you losing weight??"
I was like "I don't know..well yes.. Like 12 pounds"
My face turned beet red (I could feel it) What the actual fuck kind of response was that, guys. An immediate denial, followed by an oddly specific number. I feel like I just outed myself. Would a normal person read into that? Suggestions on damage control here?
[Rant/Rave] The people running this hospital are FUCKING INCOMPETENT!!
/u/dre-ezy [5’4 | CW 101.2 | ftm ]
Created: Tue Jan 9 11:03:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p8w6d/the_people_running_this_hospital_are_fucking/
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I literally just tried to kill myself by overdosing on pills and they left me alone in a room WITH MY FUCKING PILLS. Then a nurse proceeded to come in a yell at me accusing me of threatening to take them
Bitch wtf ??
Gaining weight and being okay about it.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jan 9 10:58:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p8uoy/gaining_weight_and_being_okay_about_it/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Weight loss decline and dysmorphia vent
/u/ParanoidPancreas [5'11 | CW 146.6 | BMI 19.7 | GW 138 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 9 10:30:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p8ngk/weight_loss_decline_and_dysmorphia_vent/
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I feel like despite the fact that I'm still losing, (albeit at a much slower rate now) I am "getting used to" how my body looks now, and I don't feel like I look thinner anymore.
A few weeks back looking at my old photos at my HW made me feel better and I could recognize how my body had changed. But now those HW photos don't help. It's like I look at them and don't recognize myself, like I don't remember ever being at that weight. I only recognize myself at this weight, and this new weight is my new "fat" weight.
Ugh, idk if this even makes sense. But this is so discouraging. Why do I look in the mirror and feel the same way I did 26 pounds ago?
[Other] Laxatives and fainting?
/u/itchybonez [5'5 | 26F | CW:135 | SW:145 | GW:120]
Created: Tue Jan 9 10:14:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p8j0s/laxatives_and_fainting/
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Last night before bed I took one dulcolax. I'm not a regular user of laxatives, but it's been a few days since I've had a good BM.
Woke up at 4 am to the usual cramps and gurgles. After my BM my vision went dark, my hands started tingling, and I'm sure I would have passed out if I didn't immediately lie down.
Has this happened to anyone else? I think I'll throw the laxatives away because that shit was scary af.
What’s your brain saying today?
/u/PizzaInMyUrethra [5'5" | CW: INSANE | GW1: 150 | 24F]
Created: Tue Jan 9 10:12:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p8ipq/whats_your_brain_saying_today/
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Here’s my monologue today,
Earlier: Ew, you ate a WHOLE fruit salad you fucking pig.
Now: I could totally eat a pack of cinnamon rolls right now, no problem.
Andrews Salts
/u/PlaTOESatlantis
Created: Tue Jan 9 09:58:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p8el5/andrews_salts/
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[removed]
[Tip] BED "recovery"
/u/helpingmyselftoday
Created: Tue Jan 9 08:54:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p7yg6/bed_recovery/
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Hi, I've been struggling with BED for about a decade now...started when I was eleven with hiding food and consuming it very fast in secret. Through middle/high school I was actually underweight and would binge maybe once or twice a week. Things got bad last year when I was put on olanzapine, which famously increases appetite. My binges increased in frequency, and I gained ten pounds rapidly. Luckily, I lost it over the summer while working at a summer camp (thus no bingeing opportunities).
I've recently found something which may help fellow BED sufferers. I am a vegan, and I look at a lot of Dr. Greger's videos. He has this program/app called the "Daily Dozen" which has the minimum things you should be having a day (3 servings beans, 1 serving berries, 3 servings other fruits, 1 serving cruciferous veggies, 2 servings greens, 2 servings other veggies, 1 tablespoon flax, spices, 3 servings whole grains, 5 12oz glasses of liquids, and either 40 min intense exercise or 90 minutes light-moderate exercise).
I was really skeptical at first. I thought "Oh okay I'll eat the daily dozen things, binge anyway, and put on a ton of weight in the name of 'health'" but it turns out I was wrong. The fiber, protein and micronutrients in these foods kept me incredibly satiated. My bingeing habit almost always occurs after 7:00 PM, and is often due to restriction earlier in the day. For many people, bingeing happens regardless of hunger, but for me it is definitely connected. On this program, I ate food that I liked and felt satisfied.
I also really liked that this program focuses on eating a certain amount of things, rather than restricting calories. Counting calories was a huge binge trigger for me...I'd stress about how much I had "left" and if I went even slightly over calories I'd say "fuck it" and eat like a madwoman.
It's also worth pointing out that I exercise pretty heavily, and it's hard to predict exercise calories, so calorie counting always seemed like a shot in the dark.
On this program, I feel that I am truly recovering and changing my relationship with food, as well as my taste buds which are now used to lots and lots of veggies.
[Help] Progress pics for small losses?
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 9 08:30:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p7sp9/progress_pics_for_small_losses/
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I know the title isn’t very helpful, but I was scrolling through r/ loseit and all of the progress pics there were major weight losses, which is great, but not what I need. Is there another place to find those kind of pics? I guess I haven’t gone through r/ progresspics, maybe that would be more up my alley?
[Rant/Rave] Mom commented on how skinny my hands have gotten!
/u/waxmonkeyy
Created: Tue Jan 9 08:23:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p7r58/mom_commented_on_how_skinny_my_hands_have_gotten/
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I was sitting beside my mom and she kept staring at my hands. I asked her what was wrong and she said “your hands have gotten so boney. They look like one of those people with that disease that don’t eat. What’s it called? Anorexia?” Jokes on her because I’m bulimic lol. It’s the little things that make me happy.
From unfemenime to little sweetie
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jan 9 07:50:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p7jid/from_unfemenime_to_little_sweetie/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p7jid/from_unfemenime_to_little_sweetie/
[Rant/Rave] Got a fucking UTI and ended up drinking 400 calories
/u/orthoreXXX [22F | 5’4” | cw 120lb | gw 110lb | bmi 21]
Created: Tue Jan 9 07:48:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p7j21/got_a_fucking_uti_and_ended_up_drinking_400/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE go to bed super early to avoid eating?
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 134.8 | BMI: 26 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26F]
Created: Tue Jan 9 07:26:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p7eor/dae_go_to_bed_super_early_to_avoid_eating/
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I don't think there's a day I've stayed up past 10 in months. I take my meds at like 7:30 hoping they'll put me to sleep by 9 just so that I won't night eat. I eat dinner around 6 and have a small snack around 7 and then I just do everything that I can to get tired so that I won't eat anymore. Does anyone else do this?
[Other] DIY recovery update
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 138 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jan 9 07:20:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p7df9/diy_recovery_update/
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So for the past 3 weeks or so I have been attempting to recovery from my ED by myself. I've lost faith in inpatient for ED recovery (and mental health care in the US in general). This process has been going surprisingly well, though!!
The biggest change I've made is that I pay more attention to my hunger and fullness signals and my appetite than I do calorie count. This has been scary. But I find that, as long as I don't choose to eat junk food, it works pretty well for me right now. However, I still know the approximate amount of calories I'm eating, usually (because you can't really unlearn how to estimate calorie count, amirite?).
I have still been weighing myself a few times a week. But I'm ok with that. I use my weight as kind of a signal of what things work and don't work. Like, I overate for a few days, and I gained weight. But instead of panicking and restricting to compensate like I usually do, I tried my best to trust that it would level out. And it did - but I was really conscious to pay more attention to my hunger, fullness, and appetite, and I chose to eat less junk.
I'm not sure where to go from here. I'm mostly doing this because I've become exhausted by the binge/restrict cycle, and because I can't restrict while living with my parents. *I still have a strong desire to lose weight*. And Idk if I can keep trying to recover when I move out and/or restricting becomes easier again. But I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Thanks for reading.
[Rant/Rave] r/normalnudes made me realize I don't care what other people think
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 190 lb | GW: 120 lb | 22F]
Created: Tue Jan 9 07:16:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p7cms/rnormalnudes_made_me_realize_i_dont_care_what/
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I posted an album of images (on another account) got a ton of upvotes and nice comments and PMs from guys saying they LIKED what they saw...
And I still hate my body. I guess it's true that confidence comes from within.
So fuck me, right?
I hate my tan lines
/u/ssfbgm
Created: Tue Jan 9 06:12:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p6zth/i_hate_my_tan_lines/
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So last summer I had a bandeau (I think?) style bikini top that looked cute. Unfortunately, it left some gross tan lines. There’s just a white bar across my boobs that makes them look like sad, wide, floppy pancakes.
I don’t want pancakes.
I don’t want tan lines that make my chest look even more broad.
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday January 09, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jan 9 05:11:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p6p5u/thinspo_tuesday_january_09_2018/
---
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! January 09, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jan 9 05:11:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p6p4u/daily_food_diary_january_09_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 09, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] Can anyone else not see that they've lost weight?
/u/pickles023
Created: Tue Jan 9 02:13:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p5ytm/can_anyone_else_not_see_that_theyve_lost_weight/
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I feel so terrible! I hit my first goal weight today(115), and I think I look the same as I did at 132. I can't tell the difference at all. My boyfriend says that I look thinner, and my mom asked how much weight I lost yesterday, but I feel like I look the same.
Does anyone else feel like they look the same no matter what?
[Rant/Rave] I visit my bf in 60 days
/u/bloodyhellron [5'6 | 151 | 24.4 | -19| F]
Created: Tue Jan 9 02:12:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p5ylu/i_visit_my_bf_in_60_days/
---
I'm currently doing long distance with my bf. It's a new ish relationship. I struggle with ED but have been in an eternal binging cycle and gained back a lot of weight that I'm not feeling too good about (and by that I mean I hate myself).
Anyway, I next see him in 60 days and I'm so obsessed with losing weight before then. Like I'm terrified that he's going to suddenly see me like I see me. He lives in a warmer climate and wants to go swimming with me and I'm legitimately so terrified.
He's honestly wonderful and extremely validating. It's definitely my first relationship that isn't abusive and unbalanced, but I can't get out of my head and I feel like I'm just going to ruin everything.
Like, today, one of my friends kept sending me snap chats of myself. They were candid pictures that I didn't know they were taking, and in each one I just looked huge. Like I freaked out. "Is this how I look to other people all the time??"
Now I don't even want to Skype my bf or send him pics because I'm so worried about how I look and it's so fucking dumb because I have to see him somehow if we are going to do long distance.
I don't even know if I can lose "enough" weight in that short amount of time or if there ever will be an "enough", but when I look at myself now I just see this big, fat sack of potatoes where my stomach should be. And I went through my phone and saw my old nudes from when I was ten pounds lighter and I just want to sob. And I don't know if I have a point or what this rant is for but I just have a lot of feelings.
I definitely just want to dive in and try to get as skinny as possible before I go, but I don't think it'll ever be enough and I'm afraid that I'm going to be miserable about it no matter what I do. Halp
Why is baking/feeding others so enjoyable?
/u/kdawg210
Created: Tue Jan 9 00:45:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p5m93/why_is_bakingfeeding_others_so_enjoyable/
---
I love to bake! I always have, but I've noticed since my ED developed I have a weird desire to feed people I care about more then I use to? I feel like it's a theme too I've seen from people on here.
My bf laughs when I try to feed him more candy or more snacks, he's like "do u have a food fetish?" Lol not exactly
Anyway, I was curious if anyone has a theory why people with ED start feeding their friends in this way?
I feel, personally, it may be something like I am enjoying this food through them? Similar to showing someone a movie you've seen before, but they haven't yet.
Edit: please flare, I'm on mobile
[Discussion] Anyone eat oatmeal?
/u/LittleCritterCR [5'2.5'' F23 GW: 115, Binges occasionally ]
Created: Tue Jan 9 00:42:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p5lue/anyone_eat_oatmeal/
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Kind of a random question. I like oatmeal (without sugar), but I know it’s high in carbs. It's also cheap and so easy to make, and I dislike cooking. What do you all think?
[Other] Thank you bullet journal,
/u/lovelysilliness
Created: Tue Jan 9 00:18:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p5i66/thank_you_bullet_journal/
---
For helping me figure out if the dress I bought for a wedding months ago will fit me in a week without trying it on.
I really was scared to try on the dress and couldn’t remember what weight I was at when I bought it.
I WILL NOT SMOKE ANY MORE
/u/inconceivable-- [20F | 5'5'' | (treatment rip) | GW 95lbs]
Created: Tue Jan 9 00:17:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p5hys/i_will_not_smoke_any_more/
---
Almost every night I get phenomenally high in an attempt to briefly escape my existence. And every night, without fail, I have a massive munchies binge. (I'm already prone to bingeing--thanks anorexia--and the drugs make the binge next-level).
After two bowls of UNCOOKED OATMEAL and two PEANUT BUTTER AND BUTTER sandwiches (at least it was low cal bread?), I know I need to stop. I feel disgusting. I've binged back all the weight I lost after leaving treatment. Drugs are an escape I'm willing to give up for my long term goals.
Sorry for the rant; I'm mostly posting for myself and for accountability. I'm just so done with this and I didn't know who else would understand
Dear sober Becca,
PLEASE STOP DOING THIS.
Love,
High Becca
[Discussion] At what weight / BMI did you have a flat tummy even after eating?
/u/cxwang
Created: Tue Jan 9 00:03:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p5fpj/at_what_weight_bmi_did_you_have_a_flat_tummy_even/
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Is this even possible? Currently I’m at 18 BMI and my tummy expands after I open my mouth to breath upon waking :(
Stressing out over "too much protein" ruining keto streak
/u/Fizzix42 [5'6" | 134 | 21.5| Heh | F]
Created: Mon Jan 8 23:48:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p5dbm/stressing_out_over_too_much_protein_ruining_keto/
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Is this a stupid question or a rant/rave?
This is going to sound silly, but gah, it's driving me nuts. I didn't actually go over 1200cal today (I tend to aim for well below it, but whatever at this point). My "binge" was liver. Yes, very odd for a binge. It's not a trigger food normally, but I'm likely pmsing and maybe needed it?
I cooked it figuring I'd save half for lunch because I'm a fool. It was not only most of my calories, but also like 100+ g of protein.
I still only had 18g carb! Most places are saying too much protein will still knock you out of ketosis though. And searching for how badly I messed up isn't working because googling thus far finds me either people trying to reassure themselves their beer and pie won't screw them up (i.e. cheat meals). OR, it's keto blogs going all "lawl, rookie mistake! Carbs bad, protein just kind of less bad." And I hate it, and I hate myself. I thought was doing so well. I don't even have keto stix, so I have just been hoping my bad breath is the acetone thing people talk about.
I should just go back to broth and protein bars and crying.
[Discussion] Obsessed with the idea of my own kitchen
/u/zarnaah [5'6 | 148 | 24.02 | -35lbs | female]
Created: Mon Jan 8 22:08:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p4v08/obsessed_with_the_idea_of_my_own_kitchen/
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I live with my parents and won’t be able to move out until I’m 18/ leaving for college, and the thing I’m looking forward to the most is having my own kitchen. One where I choose what food is accessible to me. I would never buy foods outside of my comfort zone unless it’s like a single serving, like I can be disciplined in the store but all bets are off once I’m at home.
My kitchen would be filled with barely enough food for the week and emergency food on the top shelf out of my reach.
Does anyone else think about this? What’s in your dream kitchen?
Those of you who live alone, what’s it like?
[Rant/Rave] a literal identity crisis
/u/FlabbyWhiteThighs [5'4"|116.8lb|22F]
Created: Mon Jan 8 22:03:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p4u26/a_literal_identity_crisis/
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i'm at a very bizarre point of my life. some essential parts of my identity - things that have been a part of me since birth, or not long after - are falling away from my life in a very sad way. it's not my sexuality or gender identity or anything, but that's all i'll say. and now i find myself clinging to old disordered eating habits to feel like i'm still the same person. funny how the human mind works.
has anyone else gone through something like this? how did you cope?
[Rant/Rave] well fuck (a minor rant)
/u/yaogauiasaurus
Created: Mon Jan 8 21:34:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p4oig/well_fuck_a_minor_rant/
---
Everyone had pizza for supper (husband kids and room mate) and I've been doing so well these last 3 months. Almost always under 500 calories and never over 800... I was going to eat my priced cauliflower and be so strong and get thin. And pretty. And life was going to be peaches. Because not eating will solve all of life's problems indefinitely.
Then everyone went to sleep.
And I ate the fucking pizza. Only two slices.... but now my stomach is crappy and hurts and I hate myself.
And I hate that pizza. And as much as I love them (I do, fiercely) I also hate my family. Because they can eat without self loathing. I can't eat without guilt. If I eat 200 calories more than I plan to I lose the game. And it feels like EVERYTHING is terrible.
So...well....fuck.
[Help] How do I say no to food from my family?
/u/I_give_up_258
Created: Mon Jan 8 21:30:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p4np2/how_do_i_say_no_to_food_from_my_family/
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[removed]
[Help] Does anyone else suffer with sharp pains/soreness all over when restricting?
/u/booger-burger69 [5'3 | CW: 117lbs | UGW 100lbs | -18lbs | 21F]
Created: Mon Jan 8 20:46:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p4etc/does_anyone_else_suffer_with_sharp_painssoreness/
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When I’ve been restricting for a few days I get very, very sore and have weird sharp pains all over my body. It’s especially bad in my chest area (not heart related); if I use any muscles in my chest it hurts soooo bad, even breathing is slightly uncomfortable. When I bump into things it hurts a lot worse and of course I bruise easier too lol. I don’t work out and have no desire to work out (nor do I have the energy at all) so it’s not because of that.
DAE experience this?
[Discussion] Is there a way to keep you boobs or even increase boob size while you're losing weight?
/u/sweet_adalene
Created: Mon Jan 8 20:23:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p49ro/is_there_a_way_to_keep_you_boobs_or_even_increase/
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[removed]
[Help] Where can i find thinspo with more varied body types?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 8 19:58:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p44ce/where_can_i_find_thinspo_with_more_varied_body/
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[deleted]
I'm tired of making excuses to people asking why I don't eat more
/u/Rocket_to_Russia_
Created: Mon Jan 8 19:51:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p42xi/im_tired_of_making_excuses_to_people_asking_why_i/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Monday Blues
/u/kittenwon713
Created: Mon Jan 8 19:45:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p41l0/monday_blues/
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I’ve always lurked on this subreddit but I’ve never actually posted. After struggling with my weight my entire life and hating the way my body looked in the mirror I successfully lost over 16 lbs in the summer from 126 lbs to 110 lbs via fasting. Over the past couple of months I’ve ballooned back up to the weight I started with if not higher (I’m too afraid to look at the scale) after struggling with binging over the weekend and restricting during the week.
I know I’ve gained weight but this weekend made me feel so shitty and terrible about myself. I went to a family dinner and someone proceeded to call me fat after I sat down at the dinner table but when he saw the uncomfortable silence that fell over the table he proceeded to tell me I looked better now that I gained weight. I know for a fact this isn’t true and it was just a coverup to make me feel better about myself.
I think we all know our own bodies better than anybody else. Whether we gained weight or lost weight...we know because we’re our own biggest critics. It’s never enough, I’m never satisfied with how I look. I know I’ve gained weight but why did you have to mention it? It honestly hurt me so much and I can’t help but hear “you’re fat” over and over again in my head.
I proceeded to workout for 2 hours today without eating anything and when I came back from the gym my dad looked at me and ask whether I gained weight and started laughing. I nonchalantly laughed it off but proceeded to go into my room and cry. I know I’m being overly sensitive but when you feel like you’re already trying SO hard but nobody sees the effort you’re putting in....it feels almost hopeless. It feels so shitty when people point out the things you’re most insecure about.
Anyways I just had to vent about this and stop feeling so sorry for myself.
[Rant/Rave] Teacher said I eat a lot?
/u/_letsdothis [5'2 |CW: 106 |19.8|F]
Created: Mon Jan 8 19:30:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p3yap/teacher_said_i_eat_a_lot/
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[removed]
Drop your grocery lists here!
/u/KajaIsForeverAlone [height:5'9 | CW: 135 BMI:20 | weight lost:25 lbs | Gender: F]
Created: Mon Jan 8 19:19:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p3vqg/drop_your_grocery_lists_here/
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[removed]
[Other] Started school started binging started purging
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 8 19:13:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p3uck/started_school_started_binging_started_purging/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p3uck/started_school_started_binging_started_purging/
[Rant/Rave] Relapsing because it's the only thing I'm good at.
/u/burgundyburning [120 lbs | 19.05 | GW: 110 lbs]
Created: Mon Jan 8 19:03:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p3s7s/relapsing_because_its_the_only_thing_im_good_at/
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So I gained almost all the weight back after my summer 2017 relapse, so I'm back to a healthy 19.05 BMI compared to 17.04. I stopped hearing the ED voice, I was able to consume normal sized meals without guilt. I stopped having a hungry and exhausted look on my face in pictures.
I'm in school and through my own sheer laziness, I have not handed in two assignments for a class. The prof has had a lot of grace with me, but she's down to the wire with me. I find out if I fail the class tomorrow. I'm trying to get in what I need tonight, but who knows if there's even a point, or she's decided she's had enough of me. I've been ignoring my phone, haven't checked it in days because I need to punish myself about being lazy. I've also had classmates calling to talk to me that that teacher talked to them about me, and why won't you hand in those assignments burgundyburning?
Because I'm useless. Lazy. Not motivated. I'm sorry. It's not you. It's me and my screwed up head.
I was drumming away on one of the essays (24 pages, screw me) when I slipped my hand over my stomach, and that led me to stand in front of the mirror pinching myself all over, checking all that excess fat. Measuring my thing gap. Looking at my stomach for the side. Standing on the scale. Crying when I realized I've gained. I started jumping up on the spot, desperately trying to burn that hot cider I drank mindlessly this morning.
I weighed myself this morning to get the true morning reading after I went to the washroom. After that, I frantically scribbled numbers and whatnot on a piece of scrap paper, shaking as I tried to figure out how I was going to reach 110 pounds again.
At 110 pounds, I am a better person.
I am a less disgusting person.
I can show that I have better self-control.
I can prove to everyone and to myself that I not useless.
I am at least good at one thing; losing weight. Quickly. Silently. Bearing the pain with as little fanfare as possible.
Tomorrow, my prof will certainly ask me why my time management is so bad. I can smile, and tell her *watch me, I'll lose 10 pounds. I will not be a useless human being. Look at me! I can do something right! Just this one thing!*. Oh my gosh, I'm so screwed up.
[Rant/Rave] I fucking hate holidays.
/u/asocialghost [5'2 | CW: 99 | GW:90 | 23F]
Created: Mon Jan 8 18:46:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p3odx/i_fucking_hate_holidays/
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I was so excited to be out of the woodwork with Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years finally all over.
But then here comes Valentine's day with all of it's wonderful fill-the-gaping-void style treats and candy and glamor.
Sour Patch Kids Hearts won't bring you happiness and will only make you a fat beast, self.
Reeses Peanut Butter in the shape of a heart is calling my god damn name and I wish it wasn't.
[Rant/Rave] I’m so fucking tired of waiting
/u/davincisunflower [5'7 | 115 | 18 | GW 102]
Created: Mon Jan 8 18:35:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p3lug/im_so_fucking_tired_of_waiting/
---
I’ll DM that guy when I’m skinny
I’ll wear that bikini when I’m skinny
I’ll take cute pictures with my friends when I’m skinny
It’s so FUCKING dumb. Like why can’t I just do those things now? I don’t think 10 lbs would make any difference to a 16 year old guy. I don’t think most of the people on my instagram would notice a difference between my body at 115 lbs and 102 lbs. WHY DO I CARE SO MUCH. WHY AM I WAITING
I know I’m never going to be happy with my body so why am I waiting to do the things that will make me happy? Someday I’ll be a 30 year old woman who’s never dated anybody for longer than 3 weeks because I don’t like my body. And I never will
[Rant/Rave] Always worried that my ex is on this sub
/u/sogyosha
Created: Mon Jan 8 18:06:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p3f0m/always_worried_that_my_ex_is_on_this_sub/
---
This is semi-unrelated to EDs so feel free to delete if it's too off-topic. I have an extremely abusive ex who was actually, literally a psychopath (diagnosed). Stalking has happened in the past and it feels like it's gonna happen again soon. The thing about psychopaths is that they steal personality traits from others to make up for their lack of personality. My ex also pretended to have an eating disorder so that I would relate and open up more, and then covertly encouraged my disordered eating.
So I will see little bits of those personality traits in everyone (and I do mean everyone), and I'm constantly worried that I'm interacting with my ex and not realizing it. I'll like, look into people's account history if they type similarly just to see if it's actually my ex. And it makes it so hard to even interact with others on here because I can't give too many identifying details.
Basically, I'm isolated in my everyday life because of my eating disorder and isolated in eating disorder communities because I'm scared of revealing too much. Does anyone else have a similar fear? I know how unlikely it is to actually be found here, but still. :-(
(I just updated the reddit app and its totally different so if this post is weird or posted wrong I swear it's not me!)
[Rant/Rave] Double zero!!
/u/little_chicken_wing [5’5” | 114.0 | 19.0]
Created: Mon Jan 8 17:36:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p37ss/double_zero/
---
Today after work, I went to try on some jeans at urban outfitters. I grabbed a pair of 25’s and headed to the dressing rooms. I was so worried they were going to be too small—I almost just left bc I was so panicked.
Alas, they were way too big! I grabbed and tried a pair of 24’s instead and they fit perfectly! I am so excited & I want to remember this moment forever. Now, I am a 00, less than zero.
[Rant/Rave] I'm a bundle of bad habits but a random stranger didn't seem to mind
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 80 lbs | 15.3 | -27 lbs | f]
Created: Mon Jan 8 17:29:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p365d/im_a_bundle_of_bad_habits_but_a_random_stranger/
---
This morning, I awoke in a funk, as I often do. I was heavy-headed and hungover and aching from a botched dental procedure (long story short, a lingual retainer broke, and the other broke whilst that one was being taken care of.) Immediatly, i went into hysterics, because surely my tooth *must* have moved all ready and my face must be even more fucked up than it already is. And, on account of my fragile relationship with my body image, I unloaded on my kinda-SO and sobbed in bed for over an hour when i was supposed to be fixing my sleeping schedule for school tomorrow.
Once I finally got out of bed, I found out that my mother was baking a cake. After several long hours of agony trying to avoid that damn cake, I decided to go for a walk in the pouring rain, partially to avoid eating that damn cake, and partially to punish myself for being a little bitch. It was freezing. I was soaked. But hey, beens i'm out, I may as well steal a bunch of half smoked cigarettes from outside the store, right?
Whilst outside, hand in a public ashtray, shame written across my face, an old man struck up a conversation with me. He mentioned how cold it was. Asked if I was okay. And I nodded along, humble, all the whole expecting to be reprimanded. But he never did. Never showed a sign of judgement toward me.
That old dude treated me like a person when I don't even feel like one myself.
And now i'm crying for entirely different reasons.
[Rant/Rave] My first “have you lost weight?”
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 |SW.156 |CW.137 |GW.120 |23.07 |F]
Created: Mon Jan 8 17:11:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p31wi/my_first_have_you_lost_weight/
---
Today at work one of my coworkers said to me “You look like you lost weight?” And I replied “Thank you I actually have” and she told me “You just look very “small” now.” I nearly SQUEALED with joy!! I never even really thought there was much of a difference and I also didn’t notice people even noticed my size. It was very reassuring to hear. Especially since I have just hit a LW of 135!!
[Help] EC Stacks causing dry mouth
/u/Elizawitch [5'3" | Female | CW: 100lbs | GW: 90lbs | UGW: 85lbs]
Created: Mon Jan 8 17:11:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p31r9/ec_stacks_causing_dry_mouth/
---
Every time I take an EC stack, I get dry mouth until it wears out. I’m drinking my water, but nothing help. Any tips?
[Help] How do I stop waiting for the next morning to begin again?
/u/SvelteDreams [5'5" | CW 121.4lbs | GW 103lbs | 21F]
Created: Mon Jan 8 17:07:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p30op/how_do_i_stop_waiting_for_the_next_morning_to/
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I've been binging. And every time I binge, I tell myself, well fuck, this day is ruined whatever, and that the next day I'll start fresh. But that isn't true. It means I waste so many afternoons and evenings. How do I pick myself up and start over right now instead of waiting for tomorrow morning? Any advice?
[Rant/Rave] My (now) ex-boyfriend told me he hasnt loved me for the last two months
/u/aeroplanessky [5"3 | 110]
Created: Mon Jan 8 16:53:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p2xd9/my_now_exboyfriend_told_me_he_hasnt_loved_me_for/
---
He broke up with me on Thursday. He hasn't communicated a problem to me in the last maybe five months. The only times I know if I even begin to bother him is if I guess and ask him. I had no idea anything was wrong. We literally went furniture shopping the night before.
He told me that he's come to dread hearing me wake up in the morning on weekends and that he's been feeling this way since early November. He said he's breaking up with me because he doesn't love me anymore and hasn't for a while.
Onhe plus side I no longer have any desire to eat any food at all. I fasted today and pretty much all of Friday and Saturday. Sunday I had a single full meal.
So maybe if I just keep taking all of this out on my body I'll look cute by the time I get over it.
[Rant/Rave] Why is there sugar in fucking everything
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 134.8 | BMI: 26 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26F]
Created: Mon Jan 8 16:33:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p2sma/why_is_there_sugar_in_fucking_everything/
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Every day I go over on my sugar on MFP. The only “sugar” I have is a couple tablespoons of creamer in my coffee and half a pint of breyer’s delights or a weight watchers ice cream bar after dinner. How could that possibly be enough sugar to put me over? Can I just not have the only snack that keeps me from binging anymore? It’s everywhere. It’s in fruit. It’s in vegetables. I added broccoli to MFP and my sugar intake went up. Should I just stop worrying about it and trust CICO or do I need to find non-sugar alternatives to literally everything in my life?
[Rant/Rave] There is never an escape from food fucking hell
/u/ikillsouls [5' 2" | fat | too high | Ugw: 7 lb 3 oz | 20f ]
Created: Mon Jan 8 15:53:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p2iln/there_is_never_an_escape_from_food_fucking_hell/
---
I started the semester today and I am really stoked bc I have long days on mondays, Wednesdays and fridays which means I can fast/restrict a lot easier.
I walked into my last class and we were talking about expectations for the class and our fucking prof brings up brining snacks every friday. Obviously the entire class immediately chimed in super excited about the whole deal and while everyone is writing suggestions and food allergies I'm sitting like [the fucking fox meme](https://i.imgflip.com/1xcmta.jpg) waiting for the topic to change. I'm just fucking annoyed at everyone continously saying they're hungry for junk food and asking super invasive questions about why I'm not eating 500 calories snacks. People have eating issues, Brianna, mind your own business. I came to class for anxiety attacks regarding assignments and work not calories and weird stares, fuck off.
I get so easily annoyed by college food culture and the obsession with food, sorry.
[Discussion] post-binge 'sugar bug'
/u/almondsRsessy [5'10" | 142 | -15 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 8 14:47:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p21f7/postbinge_sugar_bug/
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Im ravenously hungry for sugar and bread a few days to a week post-binge until I manage to resist the temptations to continue eating processed foods. I always tell myself pre-binge that it will just be one day, but there is something about eating junk food that fuels and urge to continue eating sugar, even in the days afterwards.
If not kept in check, this would (and has) lead me on nearly week-long binges in which I lose the progress that Ive worked so hard for over the past month.
However, if I do manage to white-knuckle a strict and clean diet in the days after a binge, eventually those strong cravings subside and restriction becomes easier. Its like a switch that flips.
I just find it interesting and very, very frustrating. I am right in the thick of it at the moment, even though Ive eradicated most of the sugar from my house (via my mouth), the remaining sugary food weighs heavy on my mind and I know exactly where it is.
Do you guys catch the post-binge 'sugar bug'?
[Other] can't stop throwing up
/u/imsorryigotmadatyou [5'1" | 118 | 23 |0 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 8 13:09:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p1a15/cant_stop_throwing_up/
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Hey y'all so I know this is gross but idk what's going on and was hoping someone else does. I'm anarexic, not bulemic. I have never purposely made myself throwup because of eating. But recently I've been having a lot of IBS symptoms, so I just figured nausea was one of them.
I've been throwing up once or twice a day, mostly when theres not a lot of food in my body ( but that might just be coincidence since there's never a lot of food in my body). Upon reading more about IBS, it seems feeling nauseaus is normal but actually throwing up is not. Does anyone have experience with just randomly hurling? I have no idea why this is happening, or what I can do to mitigate it.
[Help] Help! Can't figure out what to estimate food as!
/u/heartbrokenandok [5'7"-ish | 189 | 29-ish | -32.8| F]
Created: Mon Jan 8 12:30:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p0zpw/help_cant_figure_out_what_to_estimate_food_as/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] How did the first week for the new year go for you?
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW: 139.0 | UGW 105 | 25/F]
Created: Mon Jan 8 11:42:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p0meb/how_did_the_first_week_for_the_new_year_go_for_you/
---
Mine went pretty well. I focused on getting most things right. I'm trying to introduced resolutions and goals a week at a time. The first week was just eating every day, taking my vitamins, and trying to limit sugar. I did well and will continue to do so, but now I'm adding yoga into the picture.
I think the first week was good because I didn't focus on perfection. I easily could have thrown my progress down the drain, but instead just moved on. The key for me in short-term goals I think.
How did the first week of 2018 treat you?
Can a leather belt stretch?
/u/cybermua
Created: Mon Jan 8 11:34:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p0kgj/can_a_leather_belt_stretch/
---
This is such an ed paranoia question lol. I don’t weigh myself and mostly just judge loss or gain by how my clothes fit.
I wear the same belt nearly every day. It now fits comfortably on the 5th hole, down from the third.
On days I feel extra large, I wonder if the entire belt has just stretched over time?
[Help] Any T2 Diabetics here?
/u/Orange_MarkerDye
Created: Mon Jan 8 11:28:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p0iod/any_t2_diabetics_here/
---
I was diagnosed 2 years ago, and at the time of diagnosis I weighed 120 lbs, at 5'3, which o my happened after the illness reached its peak and I had gotten there from 180 in about 3 months. Since starting my medications I'm back up to 170 and every day I look in the mirror I feel disgusted. I've contemplated just not taking any medicine (besides my victoza but only cause its an appetite suppressant) I'm worried that if I do that on top of the IF that I'm doing and the restricting that someone is gonna notice very very fast, so I was wondering if anyone had any tips?
I don't know how my dysmorphia suddenly got so bad
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 8 11:17:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p0flq/i_dont_know_how_my_dysmorphia_suddenly_got_so_bad/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Fav bar/shake premade food?
/u/PeacefulPines
Created: Mon Jan 8 10:30:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7p02xl/fav_barshake_premade_food/
---
I’m not super great at feeding myself since I have to cook “regular food” for my family. What is your favorite premade or little effort food ? I have begun working out so I know I need to have some sort of half decent food.
[Discussion] Jealousy over Exes
/u/arkansassafras [5'7" | 135 | 21.14 | GW: 118 | 23F]
Created: Mon Jan 8 09:46:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ozr9r/jealousy_over_exes/
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My SO has definitely had a "type" in the past. Tiny, small, short, blonde girls with cutesy features. I don't feel like I am good enough. I want to take up less space. My ED was at its worst five years ago in high school and college but I can feel myself relapsing in the behaviors again. Does anyone else deal with this jealousy/envy/insecurity with real life people? How do you cope?
[Discussion] Did anyone else focus on walking as quietly as possible as a kid? (or now, I guess)
/u/lilmissdisappearing [5'3" | 102 | 18.57 | *not enough* | F]
Created: Mon Jan 8 08:59:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ozf8p/did_anyone_else_focus_on_walking_as_quietly_as/
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I think I just realized that was one of my first attempts to make myself exist as little as possible.
Any other weird shit for you guys?
[Help] Anyone have experience with this?
/u/dre-ezy [5’4 | CW 101.2 | ftm ]
Created: Mon Jan 8 08:56:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ozenf/anyone_have_experience_with_this/
---
Not entirely ED related but I feel like someone might know.
I am 17 years old and live independently of my parents in Ontario, Canada.
If I were to be checked into the mental health unit at the hospital, would they tell my parents? Is there any way they could try to make me move back in? Is there anyway my mom could force me to move back in because of this?
[Other] If you're ever feeling sad... 💓
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 8 08:50:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ozd6w/if_youre_ever_feeling_sad/
---
http://www.cse.unsw.edu.au/~geoffo/humour/flattery.html
[Rant/Rave] HOORAY!!
/u/foxlatte [5'8" ♡ sw: 196.2 cw: 193.2 ♡ gw: 130 ♡ 22f]
Created: Mon Jan 8 07:55:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oyzul/hooray/
---
[removed]
[Other] TFW you finally buy a kitchen scale and realize how completely off your portion guestimating was...
/u/desde-siempre [5'3" | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 26F]
Created: Mon Jan 8 07:52:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oyz92/tfw_you_finally_buy_a_kitchen_scale_and_realize/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Here’s what I’ve done almost uncousciously while waiting for my turn at an oral exam... my ED, Asperger’s and I are just really good at coping with stress 😶
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 8 06:31:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oyidz/heres_what_ive_done_almost_uncousciously_while/
---
https://imgur.com/a/mRHkr
[Tip] London Fruit & Herb Teas are the BEST!!!
/u/sleepyrats [182cm | 64.9kg | 18.88 | -12.8kg | F]
Created: Mon Jan 8 06:13:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oyf89/london_fruit_herb_teas_are_the_best/
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I'm obsessed with London Fruit & Herb teas. They're the only fruit teas that actually taste like they're meant to (not just some scented boiled water like most other teas). They're tasty and sweet if you stir it so you get the bits off the bottom, and have a whopping 5 calories per bag. Don't give up on fruit teas if you've had bad experiences before!!
[Rant/Rave] I AM SO MAD
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 |SW.156 |CW.137 |GW.120 |23.07 |F]
Created: Mon Jan 8 06:09:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oyedz/i_am_so_mad/
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The only fucking thing I was planning on having today was my fucking Kombucha and it fucking rolled out of my bag and shattered in the street at 7am. So now I don’t get anything to curb my appetite and I don’t get a probiotic and fuck. I’m just so mad that was 3$ that I basically just threw into the fucking garbage I want to literally die I am so angry.
[Rant/Rave] Went back on my blog....
/u/manicdysfunction [5'3| 109| 19.31| GW: 101|22F]
Created: Mon Jan 8 06:04:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oydk3/went_back_on_my_blog/
---
And it's a weird sense of regret/non-regret. I've been fairly healthy, as the last time I'd been on my blog was after I got out of the hospital when my respiratory system tanked, ironically enough, after I'd been restricting and exercising all the time.
I've been eating fairly healthy and not over exercising (I haven't been doing any at bc grad school sucks)
And now I'm back on it. And I weighed myself. And I don't know if I'm angry that I weighed myself after so long or that I'm back at this shit for the zillionth time :( and I can't talk to anyone about it because....well, you all know. It doesn't go well and it just feels a lot worse.
[Thinspo] I made a vision board
/u/Brickly2017 [5'7" | 115 and staying | BMI 18 | -17 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 8 05:58:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oycd6/i_made_a_vision_board/
---
https://i.redd.it/qtlcwvs8du801.jpg
[Discussion] January 8th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 8 05:46:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oyabz/january_8th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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What song is stuck in your head?
The Cake version of I Will Survive 😂
[Other] I made a blog for ED related comics
/u/bagelzboi [5'3 | CW: uhhhhhhhhh scale broke]
Created: Mon Jan 8 05:44:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oya01/i_made_a_blog_for_ed_related_comics/
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https://pigeonzboi.tumblr.com/post/169462813887/its-me
My weight progress over the last two years (ish) - spot the pattern!
/u/l0seme [5'7" | CW 131.75 | BMI 20.63 | -13.25 | UGW 115 | 21F]
Created: Mon Jan 8 05:21:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oy69c/my_weight_progress_over_the_last_two_years_ish/
---
http://imgur.com/C8h38r8
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! January 08, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jan 8 05:14:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oy55g/weekly_stats_update_january_08_2018/
---
This is the weekly status thread for January 08, 2018.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! January 08, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jan 8 05:14:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oy54v/daily_food_diary_january_08_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 08, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] Kpop idols talking openly about extreme restricting
/u/caithaa [5'7 | 120 | 18.78 | 20F 🌼]
Created: Mon Jan 8 04:25:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oxxf7/kpop_idols_talking_openly_about_extreme/
---
I've recently really gotten into watching funny Korean shows with idol guests, and stumbled upon a lot of female idols on more serious talk shows talking about their diet. A couple of them openly said they restricted to one meal a day, or mono dieted, to lose extreme amounts (3-4 kg in a week), and the talk show hosts usually were amazed rather than worried.
It seemed so interesting to me, because if that ever happened in the U.S. or similar Western countries, the idol would get brigaded with people telling them to eat a burger or how she/he is a bad influence on their fans.
My family is Eastern European. so talking about weight is different than in the U.S. (more open, criticisms in public about appearances of family members or even friends are not frowned upon etc.), but I wouldn't be able to imagine anyone not frowning upon coming clean about eating 300 cals a day.
What do you guys think? I just thought it was interesting how South Korean culture embraces disordered eating as normal, especially for idols.
[Rant/Rave] My jeans fit looser
/u/aristocat2
Created: Mon Jan 8 04:07:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oxumv/my_jeans_fit_looser/
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After having binged during christmas I decided to start low restricting again. The scale has gone way down but my body still looked as swollen as it did the day after christmas. But today I realised I actually have lost weight. My beans fit looser today 😊
[Rant/Rave] It was my birthday this weekend and it was basically perfect.
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 62 | 20.72/20.47 | GW: 57 | UGW: <55 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 8 03:48:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oxrqo/it_was_my_birthday_this_weekend_and_it_was/
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No cake, no high calorie dinners. Most of my calories came from booze but I was able to avoid any big meals Friday and Saturday. On Sunday I just had some people over for a spa day with loads of veggies and fruit.
Plus I met a new boy on NYE and I've told him my plans to lose weight and he's cool when I say I'm not hungry. Plus he wants to take me bouldering with him. <3
[Help] I can't fucking deal with this
/u/tinselmoth
Created: Mon Jan 8 03:11:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oxmk4/i_cant_fucking_deal_with_this/
---
I feel so pathetic for posting here but it is what it is. I was fat most of my life until my late teens. I got to be so small. I had heart surgery and when it was all over, everyone thought I was so thin. My SO took better care of me. I felt amazing.
Now, after a year-long leg injury (thanks to those 3 hour long cardio sessions) and binge-drinking because of relationship trauma (my SO of 8 years fucking cheated on me) and I gained probably ten pounds and I feel so pathetic - and yet, I can't stop eating! I lost weight and gained it back - How banal! How pathetic! Why? I don't know what to do - the longest I've gotten without eating is 4 days and i want to be there again. How do you regain will power? I need to lose this weight to feel like I'm myself again. I need to lose this weight to show my SO how much his cheating on me hurt me. I feel like there's this huge wound inside me that he put there and getting back to my low weight will make the wound seem more real to people. How can I be hurting so much inside myself and yet look so normal? It doesn't look right, feel right. To get back to my low weight will be like making the inner wound more visible. More real.
[Discussion] Who here eats once a day? Has this helped you reduce your calories? Do you exercise? Is it working?
/u/married_to_a_reddito [Height: 5'6" | CW:244 | BMI: 39 | Weight Lost: 12 lbs. GW: 115]
Created: Mon Jan 8 01:05:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ox45g/who_here_eats_once_a_day_has_this_helped_you/
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[Rant/Rave] Dating someone who's "fat" and my life is still in prices. (Possible trigger warning)
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Jan 7 23:50:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7owseo/dating_someone_whos_fat_and_my_life_is_still_in/
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On mobile flair as rant rave
It's been a bit folks. Friendly forum bitchy whiner here. So here's a recap of my recent tragedies. Read or don't. In case anyone was wondering what I have been up to.
My partner of 5 years left me and my life took a downward spiral. She was not very supportive of me being androgynous/queer/nonbinary and thought my wanting to go by they/them pronouns was weird and unnecessary. I thought things were fine and out of the blue they decided they didn't want to be with me anymore.
My heart broke and my soul died.
I began to give in more to disordered behaviors I binged 3 to 4 times a week and purged every time I was able to. I also began to take a lot of Nyquil to sleep. I stole oxycodone from my mom who was recovering from surgery. I drank a bit more. I was unemployed. I had to no job and my savings was drying up.
I spent money on things I didn't need and binged pretty bad. I spent too much money. I also had a few random hook up with people I met on tinder but I hated myself every time.
I met someone who actually wanted a relationship. She was lovely and really supportive. She used the L word.
I felt really weird hearing the L word so soon. I was attracted to her emotionally but physically I had a hard time. She was bigger than me. A bit bigger. She was a plus sized girl. I tried to be really supportive but some things really rub me the wrong way.
They are lazy and really low energy.
They are unabashed about how much they eat. And they eat a bit.
They don't really support my veganism. They sort of make it out to be a joke.
They are too supportive to the point where I feel kind of uncomfortable.
I have found myself binging in front of them a lot and they think it is just normal eating. They don't really understand how I have an eating disorder and some times they trivialize my negative perspective of myself because I'm not "fat" and I don't eat that much or how I like certain safe foods and avoid carbs like the plague.
I do like being in a relationship even though I feel like human garbage but this relationship scares me. I almost want to date someone else who is just critical like some of my exes who tells me when I am being a "fatty" or being lazy.
I do like how they call me by my preferred name and pronouns. They always tell me they love me. They hold me when I am anxious and encourage my experimental expression. I like wearing feminine clothes a lot and they encourage it and even have gone to store with me to help pick things out and been complimentary of my appearance even when I feel like my worst.
A side rant. I started a new job as a kitchen manager and people cant seem to grasp my pronouns. I tell them i prefer they and then and it just goes over their head.
So yeah my life sucks and I wish I was dead still.
Willow
[Tip] Tip: Cooking a 1/4 cup of quick minute oatmeal for 10 minutes makes it bigger in volume
/u/Jaisod
Created: Sun Jan 7 23:16:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7owmyy/tip_cooking_a_14_cup_of_quick_minute_oatmeal_for/
---
So you get a big bowl for only 75 calories :)
I'm a small person so this may only fill me up and not others
I don't think I'm even cooking the oatmeal as intended
You know what please ignore this post
[Other] Shitty diet idea: The Magic 8 Ball Diet
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 7 23:03:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7owkmv/shitty_diet_idea_the_magic_8_ball_diet/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] just purged for the first time in my life
/u/dievice [5'10" | CW 110 | GW 95 | UGW dead | 15 | 21F (⚧)]
Created: Sun Jan 7 22:37:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7owg2d/just_purged_for_the_first_time_in_my_life/
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hi, sorry if this is a bit too heavy but i felt like i needed to share. i need to be awake to shower and get ready for the first class of the semester in about three hours. i got drunk about 7 hours ago because i was terrified of going back to class, and as a result i ordered a 12" pizza to myself and ate the whole thing. thts an even bigger binge than my usual, i'd estimate 2500+ cal although i can't really log the local takeaway's veg pizza on mfp so i don't know exactly. i felt disgusting so i cut a few times but that didnt help, so i decided to vomit until i felt completely empty, which i successfully did, and. i love the feeling? this feels so nice. i'd honestly compare it to a half-dose of a benzo, the relief from my fear about gaining weihgt from a binge is extremely nice
but at the same time this is a path i'm kinda scared of. i've been anorexic for ~3 years and i'm not sure if i want to add purging on top. how do i stop myself doing it again?? please hel pp. also i have to be awake to attend class really soon oops
[Rant/Rave] Initial goal
/u/Elizawitch [5'3" | Female | CW: 100lbs | GW: 90lbs | UGW: 85lbs]
Created: Sun Jan 7 22:33:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7owfb1/initial_goal/
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[removed]
Goddamn Facebook is full of triggers
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 7 21:58:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ow8t8/goddamn_facebook_is_full_of_triggers/
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[deleted]
[Other] Who would win: a picture of me or my ED brain?
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW:142 |CW:120 |19.7 |GW:110 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 7 21:13:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ovzzg/who_would_win_a_picture_of_me_or_my_ed_brain/
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I posted a pic of myself on insta and I really liked it when I first posted it a few hours ago! I was wearing a sports bra and shorts since I had just worked out and I thought I looked so good but now I keep looking at it and I’m so fucking scared that I look fat.
I posted it mostly for someone to see and I knew they saw it but now I’m so nervous that I look gross in the pic. I know it’s because I’m really hourglassy and even though I’m thin I always look wide from the front, and I didn’t post a side angle so I’m stressing out. I’m not sure if I want to leave it or delete it since the person I wanted to look at it already did. It’s like the damage is done. I guess it’s all part of never being satisfied. I look different every time I look at the damn picture I swear
[Help] DAE Have Strange BMs After Meals?
/u/GiftBlades [5'10" / CW - 117lbs / 16.37 BMI / M - 16]
Created: Sun Jan 7 20:48:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ovv37/dae_have_strange_bms_after_meals/
---
Hi there!!
Some of you may have seen a couple posts I've made here in the past, or seen me on Peach when I used it - if not then that's fine.
I've been "recovered" for roughly 2 months now, but brace yourself for some TMI stuff.
Over the last year that I've been anorexic, I've noticed that after any medium-large sized meal I would often have a BM, at some periods after every single meal. I associated this with the fact that I lost lots of weight even though sometimes I still ate lots too.
But since I've been recovered, I still have this issue, and it means that no matter how much I eat, I keep losing weight - or maintaining around a very low weight.
Most likely this is a sign of some other illness/issue? So should I see a doctor, perhaps talk about it with my therapist/psychiatrist? It's hard to talk about with people since I feel embarrassed about it all, and to be brutally honest I feel like it's a free *cheaty* weight-loss method that I shouldn't be so hasty to fix... but I will do if necessary for recovery and my health.
Does anybody have any potential advice or information relating to my situation?
(It's a long shot I know, but thanks anyway. This community was always a great source of help and camaraderie in my times of need)
♥️
[Thinspo] How many lost lbs does this seem like? (not me tho)
/u/richnskinny [5’8 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 7 20:28:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ovqot/how_many_lost_lbs_does_this_seem_like_not_me_tho/
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https://i.redd.it/ext8lwrfjr801.jpg
[Help] Purging
/u/MySecretStuff1
Created: Sun Jan 7 20:25:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ovq4s/purging/
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[removed]
[Tip] tips pls
/u/keptunsane
Created: Sun Jan 7 19:52:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ovixy/tips_pls/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] DAE Think that everything is lying?
/u/LaineySP [5,6 | CW: 108 | GW: 100 | 17.75 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 7 19:04:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ov8hz/dae_think_that_everything_is_lying/
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I've finally started losing again and reached a new low of 108, goal is 100. But I feel like I'm not really this weight... Like a BMI says I am underweight but about 8 pounds or something, and the scale says I am 108 pounds. But I see myself and I think "I can't possibly be that weight, look at me. Something has to be wrong" I see so many other people at weights higher then mine and the same height as me. But they look so much skinniner, is BMI lying, is my scale lying, is the mirror lying? Something isn't right and I don't know what.
Sorry just a little rant that has been going through my head.
[Help] How accurate are TDEE calculators?
/u/vitalogy95
Created: Sun Jan 7 17:24:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oumrg/how_accurate_are_tdee_calculators/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I'm too fat to be anorexic apparently
/u/freakytreesprite [5'2'' | 190 | 34.8 | 0 | Female]
Created: Sun Jan 7 17:17:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oul7r/im_too_fat_to_be_anorexic_apparently/
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[removed]
[Help] How do I maintain weight
/u/atthebusstopagain
Created: Sun Jan 7 16:57:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ougm7/how_do_i_maintain_weight/
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Although I want to lose and my bmi is 16.5 or something which isn’t that bad I feel I need to maintain now. My bones stick into the seat and it hurts and I have chronic pain on top of it.
I am and have been for a few months eating two huge meals a day (I’d guess around 2000 c but I stopped counting) and have limited my excersise to half an hour a day (I need to excersise for pain disorder)
I don’t want to gain but I want to know what to do.
I have a huge Bircher muesli in the morning and for dinner last night had carbonara, the most fattening meal ever cream bacon cheese the works, enough for two people. Didn’t even call it a binge..
And of course I feel fake
Sorry I haven’t had coffee, I. Just want to recovermantain at the same time
Lesbians
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 7 16:55:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oug92/lesbians/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] DAE get depressed browsing r/progresspics
/u/little-paws
Created: Sun Jan 7 16:51:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ouf7o/dae_get_depressed_browsing_rprogresspics/
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I sometimes look at other women who have lost weight, gained muscle, and look amazing and toned, and I start thinking that I should be doing that.
Realistically if I did just eat at a normal deficit consistently and had enough energy for working out, in a few months I could look great.
But I don't do that. I set myself ridiculous deadlines for weight loss, restrict a stupid amount, fast a stupid amount and end up binging. Sometimes I wonder if I actually have an eating disorder or if I'm just an annoyingly impatient dieter lol.
As an aside, the phrase 'face gains' that is in half of the posts there literally makes me want to throw up in my mouth idk why
Okay sorry rant over
[Rant/Rave] Emotional binging is the best binging.
/u/xerox13ster [5'7" | 298.4 | Goal: 270 | 46.7 | 0 | F ]
Created: Sun Jan 7 16:22:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ou8yc/emotional_binging_is_the_best_binging/
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Have a breakdown? Wash it away with pure slovenly heaps of ramen and cheesecake ice cream!
Not good enough? Whether you think that question is whether you or the binge isn't good enough, how about a whole chicken to stop that line of questioning!
Don't worry, there's always tomorrow to fast it off? Better not purge though, otherwise you wasted a perfectly good binge. That food was there for you, you know?
Pls send help. 😢
[Goal] Why recover when you can fit into an XS?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 7 15:51:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ou1ni/why_recover_when_you_can_fit_into_an_xs/
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[deleted]
I Love To Starve
/u/antkings [20.1 | plant boy]
Created: Sun Jan 7 14:25:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oth5g/i_love_to_starve/
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[removed]
[Help] Going on BC and freaking out
/u/peridoti [5'0 | 134 lb | F]
Created: Sun Jan 7 14:23:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7otgu8/going_on_bc_and_freaking_out/
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I lost my period for a year due to over exercise. Then I got it back and it was wonky for a year but still sorta normal. Now, for about 6 months, it has been INSANELY BAD and incredibly painful. I have had to call out of work and can't even walk around my house when I'm on it.
I went to the doctor and she was pretty flippant and dismissive about the whole thing and didn't want to run any tests or anything. I got low dose birth control to 'even things out' but I'm terrified I am going to gain weight on it. Is anyone at a low BMI and on hormonal bc? Is it just cravings that cause the weight gain?
I'm not confident it's going to even help my symptoms so I'm considering not even starting them
[Discussion] Is it really that bad to be like 10 lbs underweight long term?
/u/davincisunflower [5'7 | 115 | 18 | GW 102]
Created: Sun Jan 7 14:13:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ote8g/is_it_really_that_bad_to_be_like_10_lbs/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] fuck you dad
/u/davincisunflower [5'7 | 115 | 18 | GW 102]
Created: Sun Jan 7 14:08:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7otcyd/fuck_you_dad/
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[removed]
[Discussion] this is terrifying to me
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 198lbs | M]
Created: Sun Jan 7 12:41:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oss6h/this_is_terrifying_to_me/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/OldSchoolCool/comments/7oqnf4/marine_corps_vietnam_war_veterans_recreate_photo/?st=JC56P4TY&sh=c916da38
Has anyone ever given themselves food poisoning on purpose?
/u/rachelway82
Created: Sun Jan 7 12:40:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7osrqe/has_anyone_ever_given_themselves_food_poisoning/
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[removed]
[Discussion] For those of you who exercise, what light exercises can I do to start off?
/u/skydiver89 [5'4" CW 137 GW 125 UGW 115]
Created: Sun Jan 7 12:18:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7osmho/for_those_of_you_who_exercise_what_light/
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Right now, I think my heart cannot take a heavy work out, but I want to work out a little bit. Walking is boring to me. I only eat 1,200 calories a day (kinda in recovery, kind of not, ha) so I want something that won't kill me.
[Rant/Rave] euphoric feeling after purging and general positive feelings about “achievements” recently
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 7 12:06:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7osjp0/euphoric_feeling_after_purging_and_general/
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[deleted]
[Tip] Homemade whole wheat tortillas ! (27 cal)
/u/Nude-prude [ 🍑:nudeprude]
Created: Sun Jan 7 11:49:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7osfmk/homemade_whole_wheat_tortillas_27_cal/
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https://imgur.com/gallery/2LtWm
[Rant/Rave] I hit a mini goal today and I feel nothing.
/u/Wisdomtoothinquiry
Created: Sun Jan 7 11:45:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7osenp/i_hit_a_mini_goal_today_and_i_feel_nothing/
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I started at my highest weight in July. At 5'4", I was 134 pounds. I used to hover around 115 to 120 and I felt very uncomfortable with how I looked, especially in pictures. I wanted to get down to 115 for my wedding in November. At the time, I thought I would be satisfied at that weight and would aim for maintenance. As I neared my goal, it became obvious that wouldn't be the case. I was 110 the day of our wedding and binged the week of our honeymoon. I came back weighing 119 (logically, I know much of that was water weight). I started restricting again with the goal of reaching a just underweight bmi, which would put me around 107.
This morning, I was 106.5. At first, I felt a slight high from seeing the number. Then I looked in the mirror and realized I honestly see no difference from my highest weight. My stomach looks a little better but my legs are the same. My face is still so round. When my mom asked me how much weight I've lost, I told her five pounds and she believed it. Clearly, any difference in my appearance has been minimal. So now my goal is 100. And once I reach that, I expect to still see no change.
[Help] Got strong binge urges... Help
/u/ShouNinja [170cm | CW 56kg | BMI 19.32 | GW 48kg | 20F]
Created: Sun Jan 7 11:23:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7os94w/got_strong_binge_urges_help/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] mardi gras on its way. terrified.
/u/bmddx
Created: Sun Jan 7 10:40:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7orylh/mardi_gras_on_its_way_terrified/
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any southerners totally freaked about king cake season? usually, i'm pretty solid in my discipline, but fuck. i can already feel the stupid fucking temptation.
[Tip] Warmest jacket I’ve ever had- feel like I look huge but also small at the same time- only 25 from American Eagle and so cozy and comfortable *didn’t want to wait until Friday to share*
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Sun Jan 7 10:09:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7orr47/warmest_jacket_ive_ever_had_feel_like_i_look_huge/
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https://i.redd.it/rm4c5p5zgo801.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Great now I'm one of them.
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 56.9 kg | -26.6 kg | 22F]
Created: Sun Jan 7 09:52:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7orn5o/great_now_im_one_of_them/
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Some of you might remember my rant about wasting food a few days ago. Now I'm just like one if them, AWESOME!
I opened a small cup of 0.1% fat yoghurt seeing it as my dinner and then: dad comes along with my aunt on the phone wanting to switch plans about our vacation (in DECEMBER) and boom I'm not hungry anymore. And I feel stupid too because it was just a change of going 1 day sooner which would save my aunt 200$ but would take another day from me going to classes at university and me being afraid of changes and being super depressed at the monent I threw a tantrum like a 5 year old.
And now my full and opened cup of yoghurt is standing in front of me telling me "now you're wasting food too!". Today is a shit day.
[Discussion] Just a thought I’m sure everyone can relate to
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Sun Jan 7 09:49:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ormfc/just_a_thought_im_sure_everyone_can_relate_to/
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I started losing weight at 150 and my goal was 130. When I got close to 130 I changed it to 120 so that I could “eat more and have more buffer to gain a lil weight” then when I got there it changed to 110 with the same reason... now I am 105 ish which I am comfortable with (except I still can’t eat cause then I’ll gain) but I am convinced if I get to 95 then I’ll be able to eat more and stand to gain a couple lbs.... this time I really feel like 95 will be the end and I can be normal at that point but I know it’s not true 😔
[Help] ED School lunches?
/u/farz_
Created: Sun Jan 7 09:35:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7orj87/ed_school_lunches/
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My parents heard me purging and now theyve alerted the school. Great start
What can I take to school thats low cal (low everything really) that won't cause any suspicion or anything?
[Discussion] TBH, I'm not even outraged, what pieces would you add?
/u/biggoldie
Created: Sun Jan 7 09:02:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7orc62/tbh_im_not_even_outraged_what_pieces_would_you_add/
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https://smile.amazon.com/childtherapytoys-EATING-DISORDERS-SET/dp/B07469SYCL/ref=sr_1_39?ie=UTF8&qid=1515333173&sr=8-39&keywords=eating+disorder
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend has stopped eating as a protest to my lack of eating
/u/honeybrownbunny
Created: Sun Jan 7 08:46:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7or8m9/my_boyfriend_has_stopped_eating_as_a_protest_to/
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But I'm almost back down to where I was before my ex left me. And I love the way our hip bones have started to grind together when we have sex. He picked me up in the bar last night for the first time and it felt ethereal. I love him and don't want him to turn out like me
[Goal] 2018 goals
/u/livingoncoffeee
Created: Sun Jan 7 08:42:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7or7t9/2018_goals/
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Thanks to endless holiday binging I am once again a 'healthy' wieght and I'm going to maintain it this year! 2018 goal: stay at a healthy BMI!
Or at least, I WAS at a healthy wieght. Then I caught a stomach bug on Friday and haven't eaten since. I feel so much better than I did and am planning how to get to my UGW before summer. Thank you, universe, for sending me a reminder. Alternatively, fuck you universe for sending me a reminder.
(on mobile, please tag as 'rant/rave')
[Other] Breakfast
/u/iwillrunmylife
Created: Sun Jan 7 08:28:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7or4z7/breakfast/
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Woke up this morning after binging and purging three times last night. After talking to two of my friends I decided that this was it, I wasn’t going to diet anymore. I would accept myself as is.
I went to the kitchen, put eggs in the pan, and then literally froze.
*You shouldn’t eat those.* I’ve never had an ED voice in my head but there it fucking was.
My hand was frozen to the bag of cheese I was going to use.
*You could just throw those away.*
I tried to wrestle with my thoughts, be rational, but I couldn’t.
I threw the eggs down the drain and put the shredded cheese away.
*No one will love you if you’re fat.*
Is anyone a current or former college athlete who wants to share their favorite/most intense workout?
/u/freckafunk
Created: Sun Jan 7 08:26:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7or4ma/is_anyone_a_current_or_former_college_athlete_who/
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[removed]
[Discussion] January 7th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 7 07:50:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oqxmt/january_7th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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In what way are you lucky or not lucky?
[Rant/Rave] the pain of this disorder
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Sun Jan 7 07:30:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oqu0d/the_pain_of_this_disorder/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Rant - I cannot find sriracha anywhere in this town
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 7 07:14:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oqrek/rant_i_cannot_find_sriracha_anywhere_in_this_town/
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[deleted]
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! January 07, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jan 7 05:11:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oq9ne/daily_food_diary_january_07_2018/
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This is a daily food diary thread for January 07, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your favorite recipes!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jan 7 05:11:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oq9lc/sunday_share_your_favorite_recipes/
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Looking for memes? [Right this way~](/r/ProEDmemes)!
Ednos isnt a my choice.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 7 03:15:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7opvv8/ednos_isnt_a_my_choice/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Late night Target helped me stop a binge halfway through
/u/theteaiscold
Created: Sun Jan 7 02:22:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7opptu/late_night_target_helped_me_stop_a_binge_halfway/
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I was 1,680 calories into my most shameful binge routine, which involves driving to multiple Taco Bell locations to order embarrassing quantities of food. I desperately needed to pee and decided to duck into a Target with late-night hours that was on the way.
I was so surprised when I felt the binge’s momentum slowing down. Suddenly I realized: I can also get a dopamine hit here! The money I was about to flush down the toilet could also buy liquid eyeliner or a soothing candle in a pretty jar.
I’ve never been able to stop mid-binge before, and it felt SO GOOD YOU GUYS. The beginning is the best part anyway—the rest is not fun, painful and full of self-loathing. I’m sitting here with my tea and new candle and I feel okay. The guilt of the 1,680 calories is nothing compared to the pride of having a tiny bit of self-control.
TL;DR: sometimes other forms of gratification work too.
Bonus binge realization: In thinking back on previous eating patterns, I realized I’m most likely to binge when eating maintenance or above. Restricting leads to restricting, eating leads to eating. I feel like the idea that restricting means bigger binges is kinda bogus for some people.
[Rant/Rave] All of a sudden unemployed, not sure if I'm gonna recover or nosedive.
/u/sogyosha
Created: Sun Jan 7 01:42:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7opkz5/all_of_a_sudden_unemployed_not_sure_if_im_gonna/
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So I just got off of a miserable shift at a miserable job. I nearly fainted, largely as a result of my eating disorder. I was visibly ill and could not do the work that was asked of me. My boss belittled me (what the fuck else is new) so I worked til she let me leave (THREE HOURS LATER!!!) and decided that I am absolutely not going back to work tomorrow morning on five hours of sleep. I feel super guilty but I told her that she can do what she needs to and I need to advocate for my health and wellbeing. I could hear her talking shit to my coworkers when I was trying to pick myself up in the bathroom.
So now I'm like, am I going to continue to destroy myself because I'm basically a sad neet again, or am I going to get better because I'm no longer working at that buttfuck job? Anyway I just needed to rant because I'm gonna feel super bad tomorrow morning when they call me asking where I am and inevitably bitch about me and my work ethic. 🤷♀️
[Rant/Rave] "My girlfriend is super tall, thin...so was my last one :)"
/u/gross9876 [5' 3" | 120 | 21.6 | not a girl]
Created: Sun Jan 7 01:21:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7opikg/my_girlfriend_is_super_tall_thinso_was_my_last_one/
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My roommate constantly talks about how thin their significant others are. Like, 5'8" and 95 lb thin.
Not only does it make me feel like I'll never be enough, it feels...weird...because they have an obese BMI. It makes me feel like I have to be thin in order to be attractive...even not-thin people want to date skinny people only 🙃
It feels like they're bragging because they consider thinness to be a sign of attractiveness :) guess I'll die
[Discussion] Tea talk
/u/blerg1234567
Created: Sun Jan 7 01:20:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7opid7/tea_talk/
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I’ve been getting way more into tea lately, because winter ❄️ and delicious. What are some of your faves?
I’ve been all about black tea (Tazo’s new dessert blondie, or their classic earl grey), but I don’t like having too much caffeine at night. I also like Throat Coat (lemon licorice) and Mighty Leaf’s citrus chamomile.
[Rant/Rave] Well looks like I have a new goal
/u/davincisunflower [5'7 | 115 | 18 | GW 102]
Created: Sun Jan 7 00:28:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7opbpp/well_looks_like_i_have_a_new_goal/
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So I was hanging out with my kind of ... on again off again friend the other day. We’ve had our rough patches and are generally competitive with each other, but shes fun to hang out with.
We were eating dinner and she goes “Hey do you know that Brandy Melville model Keighty Schmid?” I said “yeah I think so” and she says “Holy shit have you seen her lately? That girl needs to gain some weight, it’s almost scary”
I just went on her IG and goddamn she’s perfect
[Rant/Rave] I wish my life didn't revolve around food.
/u/magic-raven
Created: Sat Jan 6 23:59:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7op7pe/i_wish_my_life_didnt_revolve_around_food/
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hi I'm new here but I'm just venting..
I feel so frustrated.
I feel like my whole entire day is planned around food. What will I eat, when will I eat, how much will I eat, should I binge, should I give up, how many calories is in this, should I drink that soda even though I've tried quitting soda like 15 freaking times....
I know these thoughts are common within ED's but can we all just take a moment to realize how exhausting it is?!!!! I feel like all I do is think about food. Why am I like this ahhhhhhh
[Other] I’m careless, too.
/u/VodkaTimeMachine [5'6 | 112 | 18.1| -48 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 6 23:25:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7op2tj/im_careless_too/
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Eating is fun, eating is social, eating is *easy*.
So carelessly shoveling handfuls of chips, cookies, candy, into their mouths. So *easy*.
Not a care.
Me too. So easy.
Watch me eat.
Look how carelessly I shovel handfuls of chips, cookies, candy, into my mouth.
I can’t possibly care, can I? How can I?
I’m eating junk food, how am I so thin?
I eat it so carelessly, you see me.
I don’t track what I eat, every bite. Every swallow.
I eat junk food, just like you. You’ve seen.
Calories, what are those? Who cares?
I don’t think about every bite. Heavy on my mind, the numbers. Numbers, numbers.
I eat carelessly, no guilt. No shame.
No crying into a pillow as I lay down with a full stomach.
That bite, the calories, who cares? Not me.
I’m careless, too.
I’m just like you.
I promise.
*just a quick write/vent after a long day of pretending.* You all know how it goes. Thanks for reading. 🙏🏼
[Help] Forced into recovery and NOT ready.
/u/areyouinsanelikeme [5'1" | 66.6 lbs | 12.6 | 12.4 lbs | Female]
Created: Sat Jan 6 23:00:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ooymr/forced_into_recovery_and_not_ready/
---
Hi,
I'm 13. Already been hospitalized 4 times, do NOT wanna go down that road again. Not sick enough to recover (never had organ failure, not grotesquely thin...). Parents said they'll only keep me out of the hospital if I eat 1500 cal a day (that they or a teacher can see). Idk what to do. Advice?
What do you count Calories or Macros or something else?
/u/ABlueSongbird
Created: Sat Jan 6 22:44:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oow39/what_do_you_count_calories_or_macros_or_something/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Soup recommendations?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 6 22:33:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ooucp/soup_recommendations/
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Maybe this is a weird question but I have a really busy schedule and try to only eat one meal a day, so I take soup packets with me in case I feel faint. Does anyone have recommendations? Right now I usually do miso packets (25 cal/packet) or bullion.
[Other] I bought Brain Over Binge used and this was on the very last page.
/u/dontfeedthehippos
Created: Sat Jan 6 22:28:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oothg/i_bought_brain_over_binge_used_and_this_was_on/
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https://i.redd.it/rnacddjxzk801.jpg
Purging brown stuff even though I didnt eat anything brown??
/u/squidhandss
Created: Sat Jan 6 22:02:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oooy8/purging_brown_stuff_even_though_i_didnt_eat/
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I ate a bowl of white cheddar popcorn. When I was halfway done with purging this brown swirly substance came out. I'm honestly quite scared! Can someone please tell me what this is?? I heard it was blood but I also drank a lot of diet soda beforehand. I can't tell my parents because they are the kind to just punish me for this behavior, as a result I can't see a doctor either. Is it too late to recover? Will my body heal on its own through time if I never purge again?!?!?!?!
[Rant/Rave] I have no friends that are my size
/u/ayvyns [5'7“ | 135| 21.14 | -7 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 6 21:56:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oont7/i_have_no_friends_that_are_my_size/
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This seems like such a petty thing to complain about, but I have no friends that are my size. All my new female friends are overweight. My depression is older than my ED and I do not make friends easily. I go to the nerdy meetups in my area because I like nerdy things and I guess the stereotypes are true.
I was obese as a kid and I never want to be that person who's smaller than you yet complains about their body issues. So I can't commiserate with anyone IRL about feeling huge, the pressure to be thin when you're tall, dieting while simultaneously trying to avoid triggering ED, small boob problems, clothing frustrations.
[Rant/Rave] Terrified
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 56.9 kg | -26.6 kg | 22F]
Created: Sat Jan 6 20:17:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oo60h/terrified/
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Next tuesday I decided to finally get help with my mental state and I am scared shitless. I'm not going there for my ED and I know it therefore would better fit into r/depression but this sub here is the only one I'm comfortable posting in (so if it's against the rules feel free to delete it).
The thing is, that will be my first counseling in my life. I'm scared that I go there and maybe find out that I've been imagening my depression all along and maybe I'm just a tad bit sad? I know I'm mentally fucked up, feeling numb all the time, bursting out in tears just because of small things, not remembering how happy feels, being so scared of failure but not being able to actually do something about it becsuse I'm just too damn scared and tired is not normal...but I still feel like a fraud. Maybe I just made all of that up in my mind because in reality I'm just an attention seeker? Or maybe worse and I actually really have depression and people will think I just use it as excuse to be lazy.
Not to get started on my relationship with food. I've always had disordered eating habits like being very picky and wating too long to eat but it only recently started that I count calories excessively and every amount seems too much. Thinking my metabolism has to defy the law of physics and making me gain if I dare eat 600 indtead if 500 calories. Or me not being able to see the difference between a photo in which I weighted 83.5kg and a new photo in which I weigh 56kg. How could I tell that to someone? Or that I want to continue doing so because I want to be thin and see how far I can go? I'm already crazy enough as it is.
I know I need help, I'm so drained I broke down in front if my parents and I can feel that this time is different from all the other episodes but I'm so damn unreasonably scared to go and get that help.
I'm not really looking for advice I guess I really just wanted to tell someone how I feel because bottleing it up is bad and I can't tell anyone else. So, if you read all that then thank you for taking your time to do so.
[Rant/Rave] [rant/rave] I know it's completely idiotic, but sometimes I can't help but with I was more stereotypically *tragic*
/u/mynormalheart [5' 3" | CW: Landwhale -18lb | GW: 137 | UGW: 115| 25F]
Created: Sat Jan 6 20:07:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oo46h/rantrave_i_know_its_completely_idiotic_but/
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EDIT: that was supposed to say 'wish' in the title, dammit.
And I know how moronic that sounds, cuz ED's and other mental illnesses suck and my life has been to shit because of them.
But sometimes I feel like I'm not suffering 'right' and I wish I was more like the stereotypical, *tragically beautiful* mentally ill girl. My cousin is also disordered and has anxiety and OCD, but she is fucking gorgeous and all my extended family just think "It's such a *shame*, she's so beautiful and could do so much with life if she could get better" when they see her, meanwhile I'm the fat lazy slob with no ambition.
I'm not even looking for sympathy or anything from my family/ friends, idk maybe I just want to feel validated? Or taken seriously or something. Idk, like I said it's messed up haha
[Tip] Possible help for grocery shopping woes
/u/PenMorrisek
Created: Sat Jan 6 19:59:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oo2li/possible_help_for_grocery_shopping_woes/
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So I know attitudes to grocery shopping vary a lot in our community.
As someone who severely restricts and binges it's always been stressful for me. Fear of my inability to choose and perceived judgment often leads to panic attacks in stores.
So this is what I found helpful, [this is my basket](https://imgur.com/a/Sms9x) It's about half the size of a standard (Australian) grocery basket. This means if I'm restricting it still looks like a full basket. And if I'm buying binge food I limit the damage by being physically unable to fit heaps. So get yourself your own shopping basket ❤️
It's also cute af and good for the environment.
.
Anyway this has helped me, maybe it can help others that find shopping hard 💜💜.
Edit: Finally got it to work!
[Tip] Possible help if you struggle with grocery shopping.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 6 19:45:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7onzy8/possible_help_if_you_struggle_with_grocery/
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https://imgur.com/nNX9U9b
[Help] Something that might help if grocery shopping is problematic.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 6 19:40:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7onz3q/something_that_might_help_if_grocery_shopping_is/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] So I finally got a kettle for my room
/u/OriginalJokeGoesHere [170cm | GW 45kg | 🇨🇦 ♂︎]
Created: Sat Jan 6 19:09:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7onsti/so_i_finally_got_a_kettle_for_my_room/
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and I haven't eaten since! Since I left my parents (they have an instant hot water faucet for tea) I stopped drinking tea and honestly this makes it so much easier to restrict! I've been in a massive binge cycle for basically all of first semester, so this will probably help me get back on track.
Also, kusmi euphoria is amazing? It literally tastes like orange chocolate and I may or may not be addicted to it.
[Rant/Rave] People learn about my eating disorder and immediately want to talk about and discuss food and diets????
/u/bagelzboi [5'3 | CW: uhhhhhhhhh scale broke]
Created: Sat Jan 6 18:04:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7onfjn/people_learn_about_my_eating_disorder_and/
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Multiple times this has happened. Someone closer to me learns I struggle with an ED and for some reason take that as a cue to talk to me about their food and diets and calories and nutrition?? Why!!? I was triggered super hard today by an underweight friend (doesn't have an ED) who asked me what my BMI was and told me he weighed 6 stone and then repeatedly asked me how to gain weight and kept talking about nutrition all day. This is the first time I've seen him since telling him about my ed and this is what he does???
[Rant/Rave] Blood test results
/u/loratail [5'5 | CW: 101 | 16.8 | 27f]
Created: Sat Jan 6 17:52:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oncui/blood_test_results/
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I feel like an idiot for thinking this but I'm actually disappointed my blood work came back completely normal. I feel like shit all the time - weak and achy, brain fog, always cold, blue nails, dizzy. But apparently I'm fine so it's like all my issues are invalidated. Why do I feel so horrible if I'm so "healthy"? Maybe I'm just going to be wasting the therapist's time next week when I go in for my first session?
Can anyone else relate?
[Help] Uneven/Bumpy Cheeks After Purging?
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Sat Jan 6 17:06:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7on2xb/unevenbumpy_cheeks_after_purging/
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Ive heard people talk about swelling of the face and stuff after purging and was wondering if this was the same? My cheeks always get bumps and a rough texture, not sure if there’s a direct link to the fact it happens after i purge but any explanation welcome please💖💖
[Rant/Rave] I don't think I could ever be normal about food again
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | 119 | 19.23 | 13.4kg | 27.7-]
Created: Sat Jan 6 16:47:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7omyry/i_dont_think_i_could_ever_be_normal_about_food/
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Because how would I be when I know the calories and macros in everything? Oats aren't oats, oats are 180 calories and 5gs of fiber for a half a cup serving. Strawberries aren't strawberries, they're about four calories per, but remember to weigh them, because they might be six(GASP) and also, they're pure sugar, fuck the vitamins, who needs vitamins? How do you forget something you've spent so much time memorizing?
How can I be when I'm only 120 lbs, but I still feel obese? How can I be when my pants are a size 4, but hey, those size 6s, they're not completely loose! that means you're a six, which means FAT.
How can I be, when the thoughts won't fucking go away. When there's a little voice in my head screaming "BINGE, BINGE, BINGE" and I can't focus on my work or anything I care about, because I need to fill that need.
It seems more and more hopeless. I feel like I'm stuck for life with this and that's a fucking nightmare right there.
[Discussion] School feuls my ED
/u/Brizyse [5'5"|CW:Too Many|UGW:115|17F]
Created: Sat Jan 6 16:44:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7omy0x/school_feuls_my_ed/
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This isn't a rant/rave because I'm not complaining or raving about this, it's mostly just an observation.
Anyway, I've been on winter break for almost two weeks and I'm going back on Monday, and although I don't want to go to school, I'm excited for the weight I know I'm going to lose during this semester. School keeps me occupied most of the day, and I come home to do chores and then whatever for a few hours before bed. I have way less time to eat and I don't tend to binge much during school. Plus, seeing skinny girls in real life is way more effective than looking at thinspos online.
I'm also a bit sad because this is my senior year and after may, I'm not going to have school to keep my eating routine in check. I'll be going to a trade school in August, but the hours are way less. I know I'll learn to appreciate the short days though haha, I just need time to adjust to the change.
Are you guys thankful to school for helping you keep your calories low?
[Discussion] we need r/proEDfoodpics or something! just a thought
/u/sorenkierkegels
Created: Sat Jan 6 16:39:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7omwxb/we_need_rproedfoodpics_or_something_just_a_thought/
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I love seeing people’s food pics aaaaand I love taking pics of my food but I never post them because I don’t wanna spam this sub.
dealing with (non food-related) guilt
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 6 16:08:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7omq31/dealing_with_non_foodrelated_guilt/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Upcoming food review imgur album!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 6 15:39:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7omjmj/upcoming_food_review_imgur_album/
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So! Recently I’ve been buying an absolute shit ton of baby food and also got everything from the new Aldi vegan line. Someone suggested that I review the Aldi stuff, and I thought I would throw the baby food stuff in there too (not really the purees/pouch stuff, more like prepared snacks for toddlers).
I’m totally up for being a guinea pig for other stuff if anyone is scared to try something! Only condition is that it’s vegan. So I’m open to suggestions, or excited to hear people’s opinions on somewhat unusual foods!
[Help] Period almost a week late
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Sat Jan 6 15:24:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7omge1/period_almost_a_week_late/
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So if I don’t get my period by tomorrow it will be a week late.. I’ve never missed a cycle before and it is usually pretty regular.
I don’t think I am malnourished enough to miss my cycle- but I fast for 72 hours every week so maybe that messed it up? But I eat normally/over eat the rest of the days..
I have had a lot of discharge since the day it was supposed to start and I took a pregnancy test yesterday and it was negative (I had sex using pull out a couple times)
I’m trying not to freak out can anyone help??
[Help] To those of you who beat bulimia, how'd you do it?
/u/digital2939
Created: Sat Jan 6 15:17:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7omepz/to_those_of_you_who_beat_bulimia_howd_you_do_it/
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Not only have I stayed at the same weight for ages, but bulimia is taking a toll on my physical and mental health and I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. How'd you guys regain control and start successfully restricting again?
[Discussion] Do you ever look at photos from a few years back and don't recognize yourself?
/u/luxklepto
Created: Sat Jan 6 15:01:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7omb4a/do_you_ever_look_at_photos_from_a_few_years_back/
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I'm looking at photos from freshman year of college, and I looked so happy and innocent. And yea, I was heavier than I am now, but I was never "fat". It's like I'm looking at a girl who isn't me, and so I don't judge her like I would have judged myself. I was much prettier then in a soft, nerdy way. I realize how other people would have likely seen me. They wouldn't have thought I was ugly or fat. Plain or nerdy maybe. I'd give anything to go back to that.
[Rant/Rave] [Suicide TW] pretty sure I'm just straight up going to kill myself at some point this year
/u/defenestrationdisco [5'8 | CW 57 kg | GW 50 kg | 19F]
Created: Sat Jan 6 14:44:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7om71y/suicide_tw_pretty_sure_im_just_straight_up_going/
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my main reason not to for the past 5 years has been my family, and I'm just causing them more and more pain as time goes on. Also I can't keep living solely to please ppl who constantly fucking complain about my every choice (even though my choices are really shitty in fairness).
The only other reason is that ending up a gross corpse by the sea with seagulls eating my eyeballs is like, a hella shitty/dissapointing end to my life story, you know? But that's narcissistic bc no one is actually interested in the story (this ain't a book, my life is v mundane), it will almost certainly have a really boring end anyway, and also if I'm dead when seagulls eat my eyeballs I won't care anyway. At this rate making the seagulls happy by giving them my delicious eyeballs would be a fucking high point in my existence.
Sorry I keep talking about my corpse being devoured by sea birds but i find it unreasonably funny and I need all the joy I can get at this point.
Anyway don't be too serious please (although I appreciate and love all attention honestly and I understand this is serious) I'm too tired and self hating to be serious about this. Please do make seagull jokes.
[Help] Tips to not overeat when my bf comes over
/u/myrtlewils0n [21F | 5'4 | CW 127.1 | BMI 21.8 | GW 115]
Created: Sat Jan 6 14:21:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7om1wc/tips_to_not_overeat_when_my_bf_comes_over/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Nearly at my high weight again :(
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5'4" | 120 | 20.54| GW: 115 | NB]
Created: Sat Jan 6 14:10:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7olzaa/nearly_at_my_high_weight_again/
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I was doing so well, dropped to 118 over Xmas and then I came home and started eating pizza and cookies and all the other junk food in my room. I'm so disgusted with myself because I was doing so well, I was eating healthily for the first few days and then I started craving cookies, chocolate, KFC and takeout pizza so I ate all of it and I'm at 121 as of this morning and while I know I might have a whoosh or that it's probably water weight its so shit. I'm doing okay today, at 896 which is higher than I'd like but less than what I've been eating.
Just fucking hell. I need a hug :(
[Rant/Rave] The Double Edged Sword of the Holidays
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 6 13:55:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7olvp2/the_double_edged_sword_of_the_holidays/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7olvp2/the_double_edged_sword_of_the_holidays/
[Rant/Rave] omg I can't stop crying after my boyfriend ate for breakfast the date muffin I had been saving while I was in the shower
/u/senpai_no_oppai_da [Height: 170cm | 25F | CW: 🐖💨]
Created: Sat Jan 6 13:40:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7olsc2/omg_i_cant_stop_crying_after_my_boyfriend_ate_for/
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I don't know what's wrong with me 😰 I don't even like muffins!
I know it's irrational and stupid and i love him, but I had been saving the calories for that after restricting to 300 cal a day all week and it was the only food i was gonna have today 😡 too.
Restricting sucks, fasting sucks, people eating your muffins suck omg
/rantover
[Discussion] January 6th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 6 13:25:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7olord/january_6th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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Today was tough because _____?
[Discussion] For someone who’s terrified of eating, I sure love grocery shopping
/u/oneblueboot [5' 7.5" | CW 122 lbs | GW 112 | 18.8 | 26F]
Created: Sat Jan 6 13:22:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7olo1e/for_someone_whos_terrified_of_eating_i_sure_love/
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Does anyone else absolutely love making their grocery list and then wandering around looking for some new ridiculous low-cal food to stock up on? My local Winco just started stocking a new flavor of Shasta diet soda and I almost got giddy. Same thing for finding a new brand of low-cal Greek yogurt to replace the Kroger Carbmaster yogurt cups I used to get.
And don’t even get me started on looking for food I know I’m going to chew/spit later. It’s so absurd in hindsight - “boy oh boy I can’t wait to painstakingly chew up three cookies in a row and not swallow a single bite” but in the moment it’s this crazy weird high.
Anyway. Thought I’d share, because the alternative is more studying and I am exhausted.
[Rant/Rave] I get really mad sometimes.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 6 13:18:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7olmz3/i_get_really_mad_sometimes/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Could I please just make up my mind?
/u/ohwellwhatever90 [166cm | 44 | 16.0 | -30 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 6 11:22:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7okvrh/could_i_please_just_make_up_my_mind/
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Anyone else living forever in a horrible limbo in between active ED and recovery? I'm so on and off with this shit it is driving me insane. The past few days I've been restricting, running on the spot to get my stupid fitbit steps up, all that shit, but also like spending hours researching dietitians in the area and emailing them to ask for rates, listening to recovery podcasts and watching recovery vloggers on youtube.
It's like, I never commit to the ED symptoms for long enough at a time to get in a state where I'm forced to seek help, but I also never get enough motivation to push myself to give recovery a proper shot again. So I'm forever back and forth, spending one day restricting and then back to maintenance the next, maintaining around the same weight for literal years because I can't get my shit together to have the willingness to actually gain and properly recover but I also can't give in to the ED's shouts to lose more for more than a few days before I pull myself back into 'maybe I should recover' mode.
Honestly it's driving me crazy and I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what I want. I also feel like because I don't have any insurance or money or access to treatment it's like, why bother trying because doing it alone feels impossible when I don't have a ton of motivation to put myself, with no outside push or help, onto a weight gain meal plan and actually follow it. My husband thinks I look fine as I am too, which honestly doesn't help. I'm glad he's honest but yeah, doesn't help.
Idk what I'm hoping for posting this here. Just if anyone gets it, that would be cool to know. Ugh.
[Rant/Rave] I’m losing weight but I can’t tell
/u/booger-burger69 [5'3 | CW: 117lbs | UGW 100lbs | -18lbs | 21F]
Created: Sat Jan 6 10:20:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7okhok/im_losing_weight_but_i_cant_tell/
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I’m so mad. The scale says 111 lbs now but I can’t tell a difference from when I was 135 lbs. Plus the scale is running low on batteries so maybe its faulty?? But everyone is commenting on how I’m losing weight. The only way I can’t deny I’m losing weight is my clothes are baggier and my face is losing its baby fat.
My ED has never been this bad. I’ve never wanted to be skeletal but now bonespo is the only thing that inspires me. I barely eat and its so easy. Its so easy for me to chew and spit or not eat at all, while it’s almost impossible for me to eat normally.
I don’t know how to get better. It’s been slowly getting worse for over six months now, when I was younger I would just go through short month long periods of restricting maybe once or twice a year. But now I restrict for weeks, maybe eat normally for a couple weeks, then go back to restricting.
I can’t afford therapy, they don’t have ANY eating disorder groups or free therapy in my state at all... I’m so scared.
[Rant/Rave] Most Cringe-y Thinspo Chain
/u/PineapplePrincezz [Height: 5'2.5" | CW 104 and fat AF| BMI: 18.54 |LW: 81.5| F]
Created: Sat Jan 6 10:18:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7okh6t/most_cringey_thinspo_chain/
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So I was reading a post and realized that thinspo hasreally become more popular and normalized in our culture.
I thought this would be a good place to start a chain of thinspo quotes/images/stories etc... that are infuriating/ just make ya cringe...
To start it off:
-"nothing feels as good as skinny feels" *pisses me the fuck off when people without a disorder say this. Mostly because it promotes starvation and makes i sounds like dying is a good 'ol time*
-https://i.ytimg.com/vi/hCCtP1RT9aw/hqdefault.jpg these pictures in black and white with literally just thighs and a quote -.-
[Rant/Rave] rock bottom
/u/basedgore [5'3| CW:82-84lb | GW1: 80lb | UGW: 75lb | M]
Created: Sat Jan 6 09:53:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7okbhj/rock_bottom/
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hi its been a while,, but idk i have to let shit out somehow and i love this sub so.
a few months ago, i hit my initial ugw of 90 lbs. since then ive lowered my ugw to 75, and im hovering in the low 80s, which is terrifying to me. my life is consumed by food, its consumed by my vanity, and i dont do anything besides worry about food or engage in ed-related activities. i think life is pointless to live now because im just so absorbed by thoughts of food that i am not a person. i am my fucking ed at this point.
i had a huge health scare around when i hit my ugw too- ended up in the ER and was shaky for weeks and i had a "revelation" that i should recover- obviously i stopped caring about that. i have stints of wanting my life back but at the end of the day i cant break out of these fucking habits.
i became addicted to b/ping too. i have so many cavities.. i found 3 of them the other day and in my head i told myself "this is a sign, this is a fucking sign to stop purging" and purged that very fucking night. i cant stop thinking about food and my only comfort is stuffing my face., and the feeling of release from vomiting it all up. i fucking hate myself. im just a goddamned shell and i dont see the point in living. i want to get better but i just cant break out of these disgusting habits and i hate it so so so much.
this morning i tore up an english muffin until it was exactly 11 grams because i felt too fat to eat more than 30 cals for breakfast. 30. calories. i am over 10 pounds underweight.
my ed fucking consumes me. i am nothing besides it anymore
[Discussion] TMI: Another post-binge bathroom post ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
/u/aetolica [5'4" | F | 31]
Created: Sat Jan 6 09:23:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ok4xs/tmi_another_postbinge_bathroom_post_ツ/
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Soooo I've been trying to recover for a long time. Like, 2+ years. I'm on the slow track! Anyway, things have been stabilizing and the ED behaviors a lot less severe than they've been in the past.
Except last night. Binge time!! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ...Omg. I've been trying to lose some of the weight gained from recovery by eating less. Every time I try to lose weight, I freak out and end up binging (pickles, mineral water, cheese, bagel, sausage, whipped cream, popcorn, soy milk, seaweed, artichoke pastry - literally everything I could find). Anyway.
TMI: I got horrendous, immediate diarrhea. Like my body couldn't even handle it any more. WTF, I used to binge every day without this problem. Does anyone else experience this side effect??? It made the experience even worse than it normally is.
This morning I woke up feeling like shit, of course, like a hangover, so it's plain rye toast, black coffee, and mineral water. Ugh.
[Rant/Rave] Midnight Binges [rant]
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 135lbs|21.3|-50lbs|F|29yrs]
Created: Sat Jan 6 09:11:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ok2j9/midnight_binges_rant/
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I have BED. I was doing well, got out of being overweight. I maintained for a year. But the last 4 months have been turning. I've gained weight, I have no self control around food again. All the BED crap has come back, but the last 3 nights I woke up at midnight-ish and binged. I wake up with wrappers and containers on my night stand. The first night I said I was just hungry. The second night I said it was a mistake. Last night was the 3rd night in a row and I'm losing control.
I'm stressed out.
[Other] Only two mini binges this week!
/u/datnastaythrowaway [H 164 | CW 56kg | GW: 50kg]
Created: Sat Jan 6 09:01:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ok09s/only_two_mini_binges_this_week/
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On Tuesday and last night I had "mini binges" but both times I managed to stop myself at just over 1800. I'm so proud, considering I'm used to bingeing on 3000 calories in one sitting, not including the "normal" meals I ate that day.
Mfp says if I stay on track and eat only what I've planned for tonight and tomorrow I'll still be 2000 calories under my weekly goal (set at 1200 a day), with just over 900 as the daily average.
It's not perfect, but after gaining a whole bunch of weight from bingeing aaaallllll December I'm finally feeling optimistic.
I know probably no one cares, but it's so good to have a place to let this out, because I certainly can't talk to my friends/family/bf about it, so thank you guys for being such an amazing supportive community, and sorry for the ramble <3
[Help] Loss of my pet, binge eating, snow days, I hate my body, I feel disgusting, my mind is nothing.
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Sat Jan 6 08:43:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ojwfg/loss_of_my_pet_binge_eating_snow_days_i_hate_my/
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Over winter break my cat got really sick so suddenly. The vet said he most likely had a stroke and was going through kidney failure. We kept him as comfortable as possible, and he passed a few days later. It was devastating. My boyfriend is so upset and so is our other cat, his brother, who has been so depressed and acting unusual. He had become very emotional, not eating as much ( a big boy Maine coon) and constantly needs to be cuddling with one of us or he cries....it’s all too much to handle.
With this, winter break, being snowed in, and just feeling like nothing matters I’ve been binging to get this shit off my mind. I’m beyond stressed from missing so much work due to snow as I will be so behind. I’ve just been home. I feel the fat on my body forming. I hate myself, it’s been like 10 days of just eating and eating and eating. This is not me. I’ve never binged this long. Wtf am I doing.
I just want to die, instead I’m considering baking cupcakes. I’m not even hungry it’s just becoming impulsive. Food is doing nothing for me. It’s not the high of the binge I usually feel. It’s just eating to be fat I guess. I’m a 🐋
I know when work starts up again, hopefully my routine will as well.
I’m so broke now from Christmas and vet bills. My boyfriend is not contributing much right now and I’m beyond stressed.
I miss my little buddy, I’m trying to give my other cat as many cuddles as possible, I’ve never seen an animal so depressed. I love him so much and seeing him so sad is breaking my heart.
I’m depressed, I’m fat, I apparently just want to stuff my face with calories. I am not even enjoying it. I’m just here, eating, way to cold to leave. I ate a whole bag of halo tangerines in one day!
I feel so gross. My body was “acceptable” to me at the end of November and beginning of December compared to then it’s utter shit.
I hate myself, if only I could stop eating right now.
Why did I do this to myself.
I am so gone. I want to cut this fat off. I’m disgusting.
Also my hair is breaking off and falling out.
[Discussion] How does your body change during your period?
/u/themomofthegroup
Created: Sat Jan 6 08:38:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ojvjv/how_does_your_body_change_during_your_period/
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Noticing a huge difference in my period this month, lighter cycle, bigger breasts and weight gain :( (5 lbs) struggling with this.
[Discussion] For those who count macros & calories - what else do you micromanage in your life?
/u/happymasq [5'6'' | CW 103.6 | BMI 16.79 | 26F]
Created: Sat Jan 6 06:58:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ojdaq/for_those_who_count_macros_calories_what_else_do/
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My counsellor and I spoke this week about anxiety and micromanagement. From her perspective, people who live with clinical anxiety often overcompensate for a lack of control over their lives by micromanaging the little things they actually CAN control.
Of course, this is a double-edged sword. While micromanaging things provides temporary relief, it also heightens the angst of losing control and deviating from the plan.
I immediately related this idea to my disordered eating habits. Tracking my calories/macro ratios and planning all my meals down to the gram helps me feel safe about what I'm eating, and allows me to better control my weight. But it also causes massive anxiety when I fuck up and binge or have to eat something unexpected, even though I rationally know that eating 2000 calories once in a while is not going to kill me. This leads to purging.
Anyhow, I started thinking about how this pattern creeps into other aspects of my life as well. A big one for me is money. I earn a low income, with fixed expenses like rent/electricity/heating taking up 52% of my paycheck. So I obsessively budget and track every cent I spend in spreadsheets, agonizing over each purchase. I don't remove tags from anything for a week because I'm often overcome with guilt and return the purchase. If an unexpected expense comes up, like an issue with my car or my work computer, I lose my mind. This also feeds into my food problems, because if I'm having a bad month financially, I compensate by eating less.
I thought this was an interesting tangent and was wondering if anyone else could relate. What do you micromanage? Do you see it as having any relationship to your ED?
Please take care.
How long can you guys heavy restrict for?
/u/overweightandstress [5'8 | CW: 144 lb | BMI: 21.4 | GW: 127 lb| F]
Created: Sat Jan 6 06:38:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oj9zx/how_long_can_you_guys_heavy_restrict_for/
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[removed]
[Help] My fucking shins
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 198lbs | M]
Created: Sat Jan 6 06:34:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oj9fd/my_fucking_shins/
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I only managed to run 15 minutes this morning before an ungodly pain in my shins forced me to stop. I took a rest day yesterday because I didn’t want to overextend, but apparently that was useless.
a) how do I prevent this? I binge when I can’t exercise
b) should I switch (back) to the elliptical? the treadmill gives me a more rewarding workout, but something is better than quitting because I want to scream
What's your favourite low-cal snack/meal?
/u/vh28
Created: Sat Jan 6 05:58:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oj3m7/whats_your_favourite_lowcal_snackmeal/
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[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! January 06, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jan 6 05:11:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oix3h/stupid_questions_saturday_january_06_2018/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for January 06, 2018.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! January 06, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jan 6 05:10:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oiwyg/daily_food_diary_january_06_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 06, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Intro] Fresh out the psych ward. Worse than I went in. Desperate.
/u/farz_
Created: Sat Jan 6 04:17:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oiq8w/fresh_out_the_psych_ward_worse_than_i_went_in/
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SO. I went into hospital at 180 pounds. (Didn't go in for an ED. Went in for self harm and emergence of BPD.) I left at 250 pounds after around 6 months. My BMI is now 36. I need to get down to at least 180 pounds again - then I can work on getting lower.
Fucking hurt so badly - but I was eating my feelings - as well as being forced to eat the meals. But at the same time I got praised if I only ate half my meal or skipped a meal. I only started doing it about two weeks before I left though.
I've been trying and failing to throw up my meals since I've got home- and I'm desperately trying to loose the weight. I've had BDD all my life - abd Im pretty sure I have BED. I've binged twice today alone -and I hate myself for it.
So it's time to stop playing around. Apparently water fasting can get me loosing about half a stone a week (at least at the beginning). I can't eat now. I need to loose this weight - fast. My body is covered in stretch marks and jesus christ I hate it. I have dreams of being an actor - and I'm not going to get there at this weight.
The doctor's going to prescribe me exercise - and you can bet I WONT be leaving the gym until I pass out. I WON'T be eating apart from the odd meal to offset my parent's suspicion. (They're obviously very concerned after I came out the psych ward). The truth is - nobody is gonna give a shit because I'm starting at clinically obese.
So I guess Im joining here for tips. Im joining for help. Im joining for motivation to get this fat off me.
Alright. So thats my situation. I'm Farz, I'm 16 and I'm a guy. Nice to me all of ya.
[Discussion] Are you productive when starving?
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [170| 54| 18.6|f]
Created: Sat Jan 6 04:00:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oinyn/are_you_productive_when_starving/
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I'm an architecture student and the next two weeks will be literal hell, what with having a bunch of projects to hand in for nearly every class. And if that's not enough, after those two weeks are done, finals are next. And we all know finals suck.
I just can't see myself getting through all of this shit. And I know I will need every ounce of energy possible for this, but all I want to do is stop eating forever as some sort of revenge or just to prove I have control over something, *anything*.
Are you productive when starving or does it only weaken you and make things worse?
[Rant/Rave] I came home for the holidays and stuffed my face
/u/vkomova [5'11 | ugh | ugh | ugh | F]
Created: Sat Jan 6 03:30:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oik86/i_came_home_for_the_holidays_and_stuffed_my_face/
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Partially because I was so paranoid about my family thinking something was up that I ate just to look normal, except they were around me ALL THE TIME so that meant eating basically a normal amount of food. And also partially because, truth be told, I'm really hungry lol.
At first it was kind of liberating to give myself permission to eat, though it wasn't the unconditional kind of "recovery" permission to eat since I've been telling myself this whole time that I'll starve it off later. The problem is that I've ballooned up in the 3 weeks I've been back. I am so disgusted with myself. I've lost every bit of self control I've been able to muster up over all this time. I feel physically uncomfortable in this body, I can't feel my bones anymore, my body is noticeably bigger. I can't handle it. My anxiety is skyrocketing and other than throwing caution to the wind and starving without caring who notices (if I'm even capable of controlling myself like that anymore!!!) I have no clue what to do. Help me.
[Rant/Rave] I have gained weight, I don't know how much, but it's killing me
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 57.1kg | BMI 18.86 |- 15kg | GW 52kg | 25F]
Created: Sat Jan 6 03:28:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oik1x/i_have_gained_weight_i_dont_know_how_much_but_its/
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I know that it'll be from night out after night out over the Christmas period catching up with me. I am not even weighing myself until the end of January so I can get it under control again - but I am so conscious of my boobs being bigger, my thighs being bigger, my wrists not looking as bony, my jawline (which is pretty non-existent to begin with) softening.
I am ill, PMSing and shattered - but I am also incredibly depressed. I feel like no one understands either. "Your not SUPPOSED to be able to count your ribs"...yeah I know, but I want to.
I am so very alone. I have no irl friends to turn to. I am so scared of the scale. I can't believe I let myself get to this. I assume I'm like 65kg or something. It's killing me. It needs to go NOW.
Sorry for the word vom. I'm just really, really not doing well. Taking extra anti anxiety med today because I fucking need it and the Dr said it was okay to do that if I was feeling too bad.
I can't even exercise properly today because I'm in a shit bed and I've really fucked my back over.
Please someone just kill me :L
[Rant/Rave] I can't handle this right now
/u/HarleyBabyxxx
Created: Sat Jan 6 03:24:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oijl2/i_cant_handle_this_right_now/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I shouldn't be happy but I am
/u/New-Dart [BMI 16.8 | 174cm | F]
Created: Sat Jan 6 01:58:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oi82n/i_shouldnt_be_happy_but_i_am/
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I'm back to my last admission weight and although I should be horrified I'm so happy.
By this point last time I was a physically weak wreak, but right now I'm kind of okay in myself.
I don't really know where this was going.
Tl;dr skinny girl is happy
[Goal] I'm finally a pound away from my goal weight!
/u/hollowedheart_
Created: Sat Jan 6 01:49:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oi6w0/im_finally_a_pound_away_from_my_goal_weight/
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After a couple months of restricting quite low I'm FINALLY at a lower weight. It took seemingly so long to lose 10 pounds- I restricted under 1,000 calories. Some days only eating 400 and others 800. But now I am finally can say I'm almost/pretty much there! But deep down I know (like years ago when I was at a different weight) that you just keep going because it's an obsession. I might go for my UGW too- but actually quite scared. I can't get too low bc I don't want to lose my period. Already happened before for half of a year and now I have Osteoporosis too. A warning to really be careful!
It's been hard with my chronic pain and illness to suffer from a returning ED again- I know it's bad but at least I'm a little happier for now.
Love you guys xx
Alice 🖤
[Discussion] Anyone here have a BED?
/u/LittleCritterCR [5'2.5'' F Binge eater]
Created: Sat Jan 6 01:21:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oi3bk/anyone_here_have_a_bed/
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[Discussion] does anyone else feel a weird nostalgia for the cringey mid 2000’s proana culture?
/u/sorenkierkegels
Created: Sat Jan 6 00:32:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ohwek/does_anyone_else_feel_a_weird_nostalgia_for_the/
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I’m a little ashamed to admit it, but I really crave the unabashedly pro anorexia 2000’s era internet cult. It definitely made my ED worse but I already had body dysmorphia and disordered eating so it probably would have happened eventually.
It was kinda nice to have friends who understand what I felt and would indulge my most destructive impulses. I liked having this secret community that felt “taboo” and “forbidden”... now proana is almost mainstream imo
does anyone here relate?
[Rant/Rave] Never making a cake again. WORST
/u/buddyflies
Created: Sat Jan 6 00:23:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ohv40/never_making_a_cake_again_worst/
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OH MY GOD! I need to rant. The other day was my boyfriends birthday and I made him homemade crafty gifts because we're moving and haven't got a lot of extra cash at the moment - totally fine. I also made him a mud cake and I'm not very good at baking cakes but this one turned out so damn good but I'm the only one who's eating it!!!!! The past couple of days have been a goddamn nightmare because I can't stop binging on this freaking chocolate cake!!! And he was like oh just only eat a little bit of it and don't binge. Like who tf do you think you're talking to! This is why I need to not have ANY foods in the house that aren't safe foods and I've been doing so well lately too like eating 700-900 kcals a day. Not with this dang cake in the house! I wanted to chuck it out but he was like no just "have some self control" (that was sort of a joke, he does know all about my exhaustive history with food but I think doesn't totally understand it). But AGH THIS CAKE IS SET TO RUIN MY LIFE!!!!
Anyone here have had gallstones?
/u/emolium
Created: Sat Jan 6 00:03:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ohs2v/anyone_here_have_had_gallstones/
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I just got diagnosed with gallstones and am getting gallbladder removal surgery. I’m worried the reason I got them was because I’ve lost 50lbs in the past 5 months. I’m nowhere near my goal, let alone a healthy weight. I’m worried about future weight loss now and fasting.... Anyone here have any experience with gallbladder removal? How did it effect your weight loss?
[Rant/Rave] Gotta brag about my boyfriend
/u/_skellies
Created: Fri Jan 5 23:42:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ohot0/gotta_brag_about_my_boyfriend/
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I posted around a year ago about being nervous about telling him the extent of my ED. Ive told him and he has witnessed. I've been "in recovery" since before I met him but definitely still relapse and I honestly don't think I'll ever be rid of it (nor do I want to be totally rid of it, honestly, but that's another post and I think you all kinda get it anyway.)
Anyway! He drunkenly told me that he just assumes I'm throwing up my meal every time I go to the bathroom, but he hasn't said anything because I mentioned once a long time ago that any attention brought to my ED just makes it worse and harder for me.
He wants me to be skinny and "throw-able" but he wants me to achieve that in a healthy way. He also understands that I haven't quite figured out that balance and that I HATE being in recovery because of it. I'm the heaviest I've ever been. But he does his best to encourage recreational exercise vs. exercise to lose weight and eating healthy for mental health vs. eating healthy to lose weight. He doesn't totally understand my ED but he definitely tries and is respectful of it.
He's great.
[Rant/Rave] First binge/ purge of the new year
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 5 23:36:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oho02/first_binge_purge_of_the_new_year/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oho02/first_binge_purge_of_the_new_year/
I desperately want to eat...but I can't! (NSFW)
/u/gross9876 [5' 3" | 120 | 21.6 | not a girl]
Created: Fri Jan 5 21:50:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oh5vo/i_desperately_want_to_eatbut_i_cant_nsfw/
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[removed]
[Other] BINGE is on their final Livestream!!
/u/AuntieWhisper [5'5" | cw:100lbs | gw:94lbs | aka: NeverThinEnough]
Created: Fri Jan 5 21:34:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oh2zp/binge_is_on_their_final_livestream/
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Well, not final. The YouTube series BINGE is currently live streaming tonight and taking donations for their shows filming this year!! Check out the link at the bottom and join us! If you haven't heard of BINGE, make sure to watch the pilot as soon as you get to their channel! See you all in chat!
https://youtu.be/6KvKpQXJ_BI
[Rant/Rave] I'm terrified I won't be able to be skinny again
/u/Glazed9000 [5'7' | 125 |]
Created: Fri Jan 5 21:28:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oh1x1/im_terrified_i_wont_be_able_to_be_skinny_again/
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I have been hovering around 130 lbs for a month now. For a week I got down to 122, but I overate and in 2 days I was back up to 127. Now I'm 132 lbs. I have never been so fat for so long. I'm so scared that this is going to become my normal weight. I'm not even binging now, but I still eat too much. It's as if my brain won't even let me restrict anymore.
I hate myself so much for going from 110 in the summer to this disgusting person I am now. What if I won't be able to restrict back down to that weight and I'm stuck at 132 or even higher. Someone please help me
[Discussion] How long can you guys heavy restrict for?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 5 20:28:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ogqby/how_long_can_you_guys_heavy_restrict_for/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ogqby/how_long_can_you_guys_heavy_restrict_for/
[Discussion] Anyone else caught in this Catch 22 with their SO?
/u/m_inimal
Created: Fri Jan 5 20:12:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ogn5l/anyone_else_caught_in_this_catch_22_with_their_so/
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My boyfriend (who is aware of my ED though I try to play it off) does that thing that I feel like all guys do: he'll say "I like a woman who's thicc/has an ass etc." but then all the girls he points out as attractive or checks out are stereotypically pretty and thin or in really good shape. But then when we're in bed, he goes crazy for all of the parts of my body that I hate: my stomach (that just boggles my fucking mind how someone could be attracted to that), my thighs, my boobs. He's also said to me many times before, when I complain about how fat I am: "You could gain a lot of weight and still be attractive." Which I know isn't true, because I've been a lot heavier than I am now, and trust me it wasn't cute.
Here's the loop though: I beat myself up for not being attractive enough for him, especially when he turns me down for sex, checks out other girls, or just in general when I feel like I'm the less attractive partner. He's a very tall and naturally muscular guy with an effortlessly great body type, and here I am starving myself all day just to even stand a chance of looking acceptable. I know that realistically, I will never feel like I'm good enough for him if I don't even feel good about myself.
On the other hand, I'm getting all these mixed messages from him about "I like when you gain weight", even though I HATE myself when I do that, and will never feel attractive, ever, at a higher weight than I am now. So there's no way to win. Either I'm happy with myself, and "too skinny" for his proclaimed sexual preferences, or I'm what I consider to be fat and disgusting, but what he finds attractive.
What keeps the scales tipping (lolol good pun) in favor of continuing to lose weight *are* all those times I notice him checking out thinner girls, or better yet, when I've been restricting hardcore and he'll say out of nowhere, "Wow, you look so pretty today!" Yeah I know I do -- because I haven't eaten in 48 hours. Even though he claims otherwise, deep down I suspect he'd still be attracted to me even if I lost a lot more weight.
This also brings up something that I feel is another common thing with guys that just kills me inside: that a lot of them are happy to take a bigger, curvier girl to bed and genuinely enjoy it, but won't be proud to take that same girl out on a date in public or bring her around their friends because she's not skinny and hot. Everytime my boyfriend turns me down for a date (even if I rationally know it's for some other reason, like money) I get worried that's the reason. And I know I shouldn't even care, but I do :(
[Help] How to not binge?!
/u/alexis-ruth
Created: Fri Jan 5 20:00:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ogkjt/how_to_not_binge/
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[removed]
[Discussion] January 4/5 (?) 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 5 19:55:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ogjjs/january_45_2018_question_of_the_day/
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Apparently I mixed up days/skipped a day somehow, so here’s today’s actual question:
What was the last restaurant you ate at?
[Help] Tips to getting back on track
/u/honeybrownbunny
Created: Fri Jan 5 19:44:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oghdk/tips_to_getting_back_on_track/
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[removed]
Me on any given day
/u/Canyoubelievethat1
Created: Fri Jan 5 19:24:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ogdfk/me_on_any_given_day/
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https://i.redd.it/3zlxxrj9yc801.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I feel like I am never going to be able to eat normally because of my height
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 134.8 | BMI: 26 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26F]
Created: Fri Jan 5 19:22:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ogd3x/i_feel_like_i_am_never_going_to_be_able_to_eat/
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My TDEE is 1500 and at my goal weight it will be 1350. I will always have to be “on a diet” to maintain my weight. I will never be able to just say fuck it and get Wendy’s because I don’t feel like cooking. I will never be able to look forward to going to a restaurant because all I will be thinking about is calories. I can’t even have a glass of wine with my boyfriend because I’m afraid the alcohol will result in water retention. I will never be able to stop counting calories. I will be in this forever or I will be fat. Those are my only 2 choices. It feels hopeless.
[Tip] Saw this on r/1200isplenty, it's low cal snack ideas
/u/ChasingHouse
Created: Fri Jan 5 19:02:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7og8ws/saw_this_on_r1200isplenty_its_low_cal_snack_ideas/
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https://i.redd.it/02doswoqgb801.jpg
[Tip] Thought of a cute/helpful idea
/u/coconutfi [5'9" | CW: 128 | GW: 116 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 5 18:22:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7og0k3/thought_of_a_cutehelpful_idea/
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Im probably not the first to do this but get a piece of paper and make a loooong list of things to do. It can literally anything. Put a lot of productive things you need to get done but have been pushing off. Put down hobbies you want to start/pick back up. Self-care activities like face mask, bath, manicure, pedicure, etc. DEEP CLEAN! Read a book you haven't gotten to. Hell, I have on mine to decorate my to-do list so it looks pretty.
You're not allowed to eat until you finish everything on the list. This will help you get shit done and keep you busy probably for several days. And by the end of the few days you're used to not eating so it's even easier. And you can always keep adding to the list.
I definitely recommend juicing fruits/vegetables to get some nutrients in to help you feel better and finish your tasks.
If anyone can think of anything to add to a list like this please chime in!!
[Rant/Rave] Binged all morning, purged it all up, then ate a bunch of junk at lunch because I was so sure I was about to fail an exam and why the fuck not ruin everything else too?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 5 17:59:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ofvcw/binged_all_morning_purged_it_all_up_then_ate_a/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ofvcw/binged_all_morning_purged_it_all_up_then_ate_a/
[Help] Lunch/dinner plans excuse
/u/skinnifat [5'4" | CW: 106 | GW: idk | F]
Created: Fri Jan 5 17:53:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ofu5d/lunchdinner_plans_excuse/
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What’s your go-to? Every single time my friends are planning on being in town or driving through they try to make plans in advance to “catch up over lunch” or dinner or whatever. And I can’t do it. I’ve ditched them so so so many times.
It’s easy if there’s no plans made and they just show up cuz I can always say I already ate! But what about when they make plans days ahead of time??
[Help] Help please :(
/u/heartemoji
Created: Fri Jan 5 17:40:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ofrb5/help_please/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] First gym session of the year 🏆
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Fri Jan 5 17:39:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ofqwd/first_gym_session_of_the_year/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] dae get irrationally angry when the food you plan to eat isn't exactly how you want it?
/u/loveflakes
Created: Fri Jan 5 16:37:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ofcqo/dae_get_irrationally_angry_when_the_food_you_plan/
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i found curry that is 150 calories for 1/2 a cup. i love peas in curry, we're out of peas, but i thought we had some before i made it. i already made all this shit and am trying to talk myself out of throwing it all away and binging on pizza.
it's like you dont want to waste the calories unless its really good, just like you like it. but then also when i get mad i just say fuck it all and eat my feelings lol fuck me
[Rant/Rave] gained 5lbs since coming back to america
/u/liskovaa [21 | F | 5'4" | -40lbs. | 🍑 babycat]
Created: Fri Jan 5 16:25:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7of9ts/gained_5lbs_since_coming_back_to_america/
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haven’t posted in forever but whatever lmao. so i spent the past four months living abroad and ended up losing about 20lbs which was fucking awesome considering i lost 45lbs total in 2017 (still need to update my flair but would’ve liked it to be an even 50 lmao). buuuut i’ve been back home for like three weeks and i’ve already gained back FIVE. WHOLE. POUNDS. even though i’m still at my lowest weight since my freshman year of high school i still want to cry. it’s like i can literally feel my body ballooning back up to what i was last year. plus it’s even worse bc everyone who sees me tells me i look amazing (lol lies) and i just feel like such a fraud gaining even a pound back. is it bad i can’t wait to move out of my parents’ house in a week so i can go back to being too poor to afford food?? lol. on the plus side all i’ve had today was a banana and copious amounts of black coffee so i got that going for me.
[Help] Tried to purge today but stopped when I started seeing crazy amounts of stars in my eyes, can I get some input
/u/Rhyanon [5'7" | cw:scared to look | bmi:idk | lost:not enough | ugw:120]
Created: Fri Jan 5 15:57:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7of30o/tried_to_purge_today_but_stopped_when_i_started/
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[removed]
[Other] Getting frustrated
/u/supergirlofsteel [Height 5'3"| CW 134 lbs | BMI 23.7 | Weight Lost 30 lbs]
Created: Fri Jan 5 15:22:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oeu9k/getting_frustrated/
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[removed]
[Help] Trying to do be kind to myself is sooo hard
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Fri Jan 5 15:18:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oetgl/trying_to_do_be_kind_to_myself_is_sooo_hard/
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Last week was rough, diarrhea for days but ravenous and death in the family plus subzero temperatures so not even my ED demons were going outside to exercise. I sat on my ass all week and just ate intuitively which meant eating lot because I’ve been restricting and overexercising for years. Fine. I’ll “let myself go” and get back to it next week. This week, weather still sucks, I can’t exercise as much as I’m used to and I’m still so damn hungry. I want to just give myself a break and rest and freaking eat but I get filled with panic especially as I’m super bloated and retaining. My dream would be to not fast tonight as planned, eat my piddly egg whites that I actually enjoy after 7 hours of exercise today, sleep in and enjoy eating and cooking like a normal person all weekend. Last week was so liberating and now I feel so stuck between wanting it back but fear of weight gain. It’s a mental prison and no one gets it. Reactive eating scares me so much.
[Goal] Effects of 14 day fast?
/u/Thenomadicprincess
Created: Fri Jan 5 15:14:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oesac/effects_of_14_day_fast/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] The intermittent fasting diet fad really weirds me out
/u/bunkinpumpkin [5'7" | CW: 133lbs | BMI: 21.1 | -12.5 | GW: 125lbs]
Created: Fri Jan 5 14:59:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oeoj4/the_intermittent_fasting_diet_fad_really_weirds/
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It's so weird to me that ten years ago I had to be secretive about skipping lunch because if you skipped meals at work, someone always made a joke about it and if you did it too much, you were either a snob who didn't want to socialize with your coworkers or immediately labeled as an anorexic "freak". (I would never ever call someone this BTW, and I'm very vigilant about not commenting on another person's eating habits because I never want to be that insensitive asshole who triggers someone into relapse or a binge or a purge or hell maybe they have a chronic illness that reduces appetite, just to be clear super clear I don't think these things). I mean, as recent as 2016 I had a manager express toxic faux concern about why I didn't buy lunch every day with the rest of my team of single dudes. "Are you starving yourself" Uhh, maybe cuz I have double daycare to pay and I don't want to be 200lbs with the rest of you? And food during the day makes me hella sleepy?
But now! Now! It's totally cool and normal for people to do three day fasts as a diet and do intermittent fasting (what I learned to do from the book The Warrior Diet like 14 years ago), and for a gaggle of people to sit around and talk about it -as they do a three day fast- at work. I don't know if I'm happy because now I have a cover for why I never eat lunch, or if I'm upset because I'm a little worried this fad is a gateway into an entire new generation joining us here in ProED land or what.
I'm just weirded out guys and I had to tell someone who got it. Probably some of the heightened emotions are from getting back into the swing of the EC stack cuz lol, holiday weight ain't gonna leave on its own.
[Discussion] Feeling like the ED has taken a back seat
/u/anonymous_jen
Created: Fri Jan 5 13:26:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oe0tf/feeling_like_the_ed_has_taken_a_back_seat/
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I got locked out of my usual account so I had to make a new one- so hi guys!
A couple weeks ago I was super deep in my ED behaviors and getting pretty close to my goal, and now it’s like I am barely thinking about the ED most of the time- and it’s frustrating!
I just got into a new relationship and it has made fasting so hard because we are together 5/7 days of the week and when we are together I let myself eat normally- which always turns into over eating, not to mention we drink a lot too.
So now I spend the whole week bloated af and gross and then I make up for it by fasting 72 hours on the weekend while I’m at work. So far I have been maintaining 105-6ish which I *guess* is ok but I still need to lose 10 more.
It also makes me feel like the ED is illegitimate because I’m not paying attention to it as much. Especially since when I started dating this guy he caught on that I had a problem and knew I didn’t eat and now he sees me eating all the time and I feel like a fraud.
[Rant/Rave] Lmao can somebody just kill me
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 5 12:54:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7odse1/lmao_can_somebody_just_kill_me/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7odse1/lmao_can_somebody_just_kill_me/
[Discussion] Vegetarian bouillon cubes?
/u/Strawberry2point0 [5'8" | CW: 159 lbs | GW: 120 lbs | 21M]
Created: Fri Jan 5 12:39:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7odobr/vegetarian_bouillon_cubes/
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I only recently discovered bouillon cubes, and carrying around a thermos of soup to my classes sounds like a great way to spice up the tea-gum-diet soda carousel. Any recs for brands/flavors that are vegetarian (and preferably not horribly expensive)?
[Goal] I'm restricting low enough to feel dizzy a lot
/u/AnaBrideToBe
Created: Fri Jan 5 12:10:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7odgrj/im_restricting_low_enough_to_feel_dizzy_a_lot/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Does anyone measure progress by their changes in body fat percentage instead of BMI?
/u/coffeepaysthebills
Created: Fri Jan 5 12:07:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7odful/does_anyone_measure_progress_by_their_changes_in/
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[Goal] My doctor just wants to see an upward trend. So I'll give her that
/u/Diamondwrists
Created: Fri Jan 5 12:04:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7odf4l/my_doctor_just_wants_to_see_an_upward_trend_so/
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I don't know if I'll be able to get to 120. I mean, my clothing size is the same and I still look somewhat thin, but I'd honestly be comfortable at around 115. Maybe if I just get there and stabilize she'll be happy. She can't force anything on me if I'm not underweight, right?
So I'm eating. I have no appetite but I'm doing it. I bought my favorite foods and some Tulsi to calm me down. I'm going to go school supply shopping later to prepare for the semester. Things can be good. I'm capable of making things good. But everything spirals into the eating. Restriction makes me calm and in control, until it doesn't, and a cascade of fear hits my fragile body like gale force wind and I topple over into a ripple of terror.
Anxiety hits me so much worse when I'm this thin. And that stability and control can't last forever.
[Rant/Rave] Why can't I refuse chips/fries???
/u/gaaaaaylien
Created: Fri Jan 5 12:03:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7odewo/why_cant_i_refuse_chipsfries/
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(I'm British, so when I say chips I mean [these] (http://britishexpats.com/forum/attachments/sheep-dip-127/117232d1398753171-real-chips-british-chips-650.jpg), not [these] (https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/69/Potato-Chips.jpg/1200px-Potato-Chips.jpg) !)
I was doing so so so well today but then my parents got home - they'd been to KFC and had brought me fries (bc I'm vegan so it's like the only KFC food I can eat hahah) and I just ate them all??? All THREE portions???? I wasn't even hungry, fuck!! I don't know why I ate it all and now I'm deciding whether to purge them and get back on track or give up and binge :(
Exact same thing happened a few nights ago too; my parents went to the chippy and brought a whole huge plate up to my room and I ate it all. And then even went downstairs to eat the rest of my family's leftovers...
I honestly don't know why I can't just throw them away! I can literally refuse any other food with no issue but when it comes to chips/fries everything just goes to shit. Every time.
Now I'm not gonna meet my goal for the end of the week. Yesterday my dream uni rejected me and now on top of that it looks like I'm gonna continue being the fat fuck I was in 2017 this year too. Less than a week in and I'm already done with 2018. I have loads of schoolwork I need to do as well, a 5000 word essay due in on tuesday, but I just don't care anymore, I can't be arsed, I've given up. Everythings going to shit and I give up
[Discussion] January 5th, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 5 10:52:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ocw29/january_5th_2018_question_of_the_day/
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What was the best part of today?
[Discussion] Cried because I couldn't poach an egg
/u/vctrlcs [5'6" | CW: 150.8 | UGW: 115 | BMI: 24.4 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 5 10:38:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ocsjy/cried_because_i_couldnt_poach_an_egg/
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Yesterday I started sobbing because I decided to let myself have a whole egg (not just whites) on toast, but i couldn't figure out how to poach an egg while keeping a runny yolk and i was so upset that my "indulgent" food wasn't the way i wanted it. Thought u guys would relate.
Share your ridiculous food related meltdowns :)
[Discussion] DAE have a huge fear of baristas using the 2% instead of skim?
/u/Brizyse [5'5"|CW:Too Many|UGW:115|17F]
Created: Fri Jan 5 09:59:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ocie1/dae_have_a_huge_fear_of_baristas_using_the_2/
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I go to Starbucks very often and I always ask for nonfat drinks. There's a part of me that is absolutely terrified of them using 2% milk instead!
[Rant/Rave] I bought a scale yesterday and it was like sneaking contraband into the house [Long rant]
/u/am_i_the_grasshole [5'7 | CW:119 | 18.6 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 5 09:34:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7occ1a/i_bought_a_scale_yesterday_and_it_was_like/
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I lost my job a couple months ago and moved back in with my parents. My sister is a recovered anorexic, who went through it pretty severely. We all try our best not to do or say anything triggering since we absolutely don't want her to go through that again. So needless to say we haven't owned a scale for a while.
I knew that'd be frusterating for me but whatever, I've been weighing myself at my friend's house whenever I go there because she has one in her bathroom. Lately though we haven't been hanging out much so I haven't been there in like a month.
And not knowing what I weigh has been making me crazy. Even though I've been restricting I constantly feel like I've gained back up to 136, and I've basically just been obsessing over it. My flair is just guesswork right now based on what I weighed over a month ago.
So yesterday I decided to buy a scale and hide it in my room.
This should be effortless and drama free right? I'm a 24 year old woman, with a job now who goes out all the time and has a car. I go to Walmart all the time without my parents knowing, this should be no problem.
I'd been mulling over when to do this for quite some time, but yesterday for some reason the need to know felt *super* urgent and I couldn't get it out of my head.
And holy shit i got so nervous for no good reason about doing this. Instead of acting like a normal person I decided to make some overly detailed lie about why I need to go to Walmart.
I'm standing there in the kitchen all twitchy and suspicious looking like "WOW look we are out of kimchi!? I should go to Walmart and buy some right? I found this recipe on instagram I have to cook it tonight for you guys, I'm just craving the idea of it so bad it'll be great. I can't go to the Whole foods down the street though (which is much more likely to have the right kind then walmart was, but I knew for a fact they don't have scales there cause I'd checked once before), it has to be WALMART absolutely. Okay I'm heading there in about an hour and a half when you guys leave the house. Sound good? Kay."
And they're just like sure whatever.
So when they all are gone I drive to Walmart. Now the one we have is absolutely massive, and I have no idea where to even find a scale. I'm wandering around trying to find one and I can't. For some reason this makes my heart start racing and I keep thinking shit shit shit I'm runningout of time, by the time I find it they'll be home, dear god what if someone I know sees me buying a scale, they'll *know*. so I'm panicking around walmart looking insane until finally I find it, and in addition to the other stuff I bought so I could actually cook the stupid recipe I promised to cook, I spent nearly an hour there.
I'm shaking I'm so nervous for no reason at all, and all the clerks are looking at me like I'm about to rob the place or something.
I drive home, starting to calm down. As soon as I get home, bam my mom's car is in the drive way.
Fuck fuck fuck
I feel almost like my vision is blurring from just nerves. I ccan't put the scale in the trunk, she'll see me opening my trunk and ask why. I can't sneak it in under my coat, it's fucking huge in this box it'll show. Aghh. So I stuff it under the chair from the back seat and cover it with my unreasonable amount of car trash and miscellaneous clothing.
All evening I obsess over "what if someone asks to go in my car for something?? What will I say??? Agh I have to get it now I have to!" But I don't because I keep imaginign someone seeing me with it and I can't think of any good way to explain what I'm doing with a scale.
Finally this morning they are all gone and I run to my car and grab it. Even just seeing it kinda freaks me out somehow, I really feel like it's a giant load of cocaine or something and like I'm trying to sneak it into a police station. I run it upstairs to by room and open it in my closet, but I'm too jittery to figure out the battery slide for a good thirty minutes. So I'm kind of running around the house aimlessly being nervous, when I go back and try it again and bam it finally works!
And holy shit I weigh 112!
That's a BMI of 17.5!! HOLY SHIT WOW.
Wow maybe I really do have a problem and am not just leeching off my sister's issues. Maybe I'm not the only functional mentally healthy person I know. Maybe I'm not just pretending to myself that I have a problem so I can fit in better with my frequently-talking-about-her-suicide-idealizations mother, and my clinically depressed anorexic sister, and my formerly a shut in due to severe OCD boyfriend.
Maybe we are just a family of madness and maybe I'm not the one who has to hold everyone together and constantly keep everyone from falling apart because wow maybe I have issues too.
#Edit
Shit I spent all day contemplating what it means to weigh 112 now, and then I weighed again after dinner and now it's saying I'm 116.
What the fuck man. I haven't owned a scale myself, since before i cared to check these things, so is it really normal to fluctuate 4 pounds between morning to evening? What is my real weight??
[Help] How do I get back to my restricting!!!?
/u/Thenomadicprincess
Created: Fri Jan 5 09:31:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ocbab/how_do_i_get_back_to_my_restricting/
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[removed]
[Goal] This month is actually going really well so far.
/u/almightylurker [5'1.75" | 122 | (new) 23.4 | -93 | 20F]
Created: Fri Jan 5 09:08:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oc5cz/this_month_is_actually_going_really_well_so_far/
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So I haven't been doing as good as I could these past couple of months. I've just been bored and anxious and eating way too close to maintenance to make a significant amount of progress. Then Christmas came along. I ate at least 3,000 calories of sweets and other bullshit that wasn't even worth the calories and I was sick of it and decided that I'm gonna fucking beat 2018's ass and conquer.
We got a puppy on Dec 30th and those of you who have ever house broken a puppy know what I'm going through right now. I don't even have time to take a shit in peace let alone make myself food. I go to bed hungry and wake up hungry and honestly it feels... really nice? I've gotten used to eating less and I'm proud to say that my calories have ranged from 800-1000 since we got her, never going over. I've said it time and time again but I firmly believe it now, I will get to my goal weight this year.
[Discussion] Losing weight as an endomorph...I look weird
/u/orthoreXXX [22F | 5’4” | cw 120lb | gw 110lb | bmi 21]
Created: Fri Jan 5 08:27:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7obvcp/losing_weight_as_an_endomorphi_look_weird/
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Hey guys! I’ve been losing weight pretty consistently (knock on wood) but because of my endomorphic somatype (wide hips, difficult stomach and lower back fat, easy to put on fat) I know I’ll never look like most thinspo. I work out every day along with a 50 protein/30carb/20fat ratio and caloric deficit.
However, I’ve only been losing fat from my breasts, arms, upper stomach, and face. My lower back, hips, and lower stomach fat just won’t budge. I look like Squidward after he ate all those krabby patties.
Anyone else out there a natural endomorph and can give me some advice?
Also, if anyone can find thinspo pics of skinny endomorphs, hook me up!
[Discussion] Is anyone ever afraid to wash and dry their jeans?
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 134.8 | BMI: 26 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26F]
Created: Fri Jan 5 07:52:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7obne8/is_anyone_ever_afraid_to_wash_and_dry_their_jeans/
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I do not wash my jeans because I don't like it when things fit super tight and it always feels like the dryer shrinks them two sizes. It takes days of wear for them to be comfortable to my liking again after washing. The only way I will wash them is if they have a legitimate stain or they smell bad for some reason, but I will always air dry them rather than put them in the dryer.
I have a pair of size 6 jeans that are now my 'fat'/'comfy' jeans (which is awesome, because these jeans have never fit me- I bought them too small because I was in denial about my weight gain a couple of years ago), but they are now becoming legitimately too big to the point that it doesn't look good. My size 4s from American Eagle fit pretty much perfectly but I think that if I washed and dried the 6s I'd be able to get a couple more months out of them. I'm 134.8 as of this morning and I am usually a solid size 6 when I weigh between 130 and 140. I am so afraid to wash them because I'm afraid that the only reason they're too big is because I haven't put them in the dryer in such a long time. I like that they're baggy and they're great for days when I don't feel too good about myself because they fit big and make me feel skinnier, but they're starting to legitimately look bad and they fall down so low my underwear is showing.
Do you guys think it would be safe to wash and dry them, since they're so baggy? I know this sounds super neurotic but lol welcome to my brain.
[Other] Bought my bf a card after a disappointing day of purging
/u/dbt-girl [5'2" | 114]
Created: Fri Jan 5 07:30:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7obiyq/bought_my_bf_a_card_after_a_disappointing_day_of/
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https://i.redd.it/oqu3zyxxe9801.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Do you ever feel like you aren’t good enough because your disorder isn’t the same as someone else’s?
/u/nachosurfer
Created: Fri Jan 5 07:06:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7obeh3/do_you_ever_feel_like_you_arent_good_enough/
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Just a little rant. I’ve had an eating disorder since I was about 12/13. What started as anorexia has pretty much run the full spectrum of disorders and I’ve landed on EDNOS as a diagnoses. Everything from binge eating, to purging, to orthorexia, I’ve experienced it. Well, I’ve been slipping back into old habits for a long time now. But things have changed for me. I have a boyfriend who cares about me greatly, and notices when I’m not eating. But more importantly, I have a “step-daughter” who is 7, and I don’t want her to pick up on my shitty habits. She just thinks I’m a healthy person who eats lots of veggies and works out. So, I find myself struggling to dip below 1,000-1,200 calories without them taking notice. And I see people here who eat 100, 200, 500 calories a day and I’m jealous. Which is so fucked up, that I’m jealous that someone is... idk how to put it... sicker than me? Able to restrict more than me? This was long and rambled and I’ll probably delete it shortly.
[Goal] Amazing new jeans, miserable at work
/u/throwaway002300 [25F | 5’3 | CW 102 | BMI 18 | GW ???]
Created: Fri Jan 5 06:58:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7obctt/amazing_new_jeans_miserable_at_work/
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So my mom bought me jeans for Christmas, which turned out to be too big. The next size down was 00 and they took forever to arrive. I was so excited to wear them and they actually fit perfectly! Then I get to work (new job, absolutely hate it but that’s another topic altogether) and my boss says I forgot to tell you no jeans. Like come on dude I was excited to wear these!! They’re dark wash, no holes and I reached a size goal, you absolute fucking donut!
[Rant/Rave] I've never felt so lucky (or fucked up)
/u/MeMyselfAndCarbs [5'3" | 110.6 | 25F]
Created: Fri Jan 5 06:42:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ob9m5/ive_never_felt_so_lucky_or_fucked_up/
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My fiancé (!!!) and I went out of town for a NYE wedding, and in the morning when he and a few of our friends went down to breakfast, I stayed behind "to pack up" and asked him to grab me a coffee. He brought it back, black with half of a Splenda (perfect).
On the drive home he goes, "oh yeah! I was going to put some creamer in your coffee this morning because I know you sometimes like it, but I thought to myself 'no! I'm not going to add any calories that she hasn't consented to." I swear my heart almost exploded in that moment, but it got even better... he continued to say, "then I saw that Torani syrup that you have at the house, but I checked and it wasn't sugar free, so I didn't want to add that without asking either."
YOU GUYS, HOW DID I GET SO LUCKY (and how fucked up am I that he has to think those things when just getting me a coffee?)
Either way, I can't believe I get to marry someone who understands me so unbelievably well. Ahh. I just had to tell the only people who would get it :)
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! January 05, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jan 5 05:13:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oau60/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread/
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This is the weekly picture thread for January 05, 2018.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
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*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
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[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! January 05, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jan 5 05:13:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oau51/daily_food_diary_january_05_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 05, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Other] I was going to restrict, then my rabbit died.
/u/Violets11 [170cm | CW: Land Whale | GW: 50KG | F | -6KG]
Created: Fri Jan 5 03:39:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oafxr/i_was_going_to_restrict_then_my_rabbit_died/
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[removed]
[Help] what should I mix with vodka?
/u/fxckyouaurora [166cm|52.5kg|F24]
Created: Fri Jan 5 02:17:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7oa3x5/what_should_i_mix_with_vodka/
---
sorry, this isn't *necessarily* ED related, but I know a lot of ya are dunkorexics and can probably give me a hand. :))
I have vodka at home, I wanna get drunk tonight, restricting's been working for me lately so I don't wanna add more calories than I haaaave to but I'm def gonna drink.
vodka soda is.. fine. but I want something better, and I live in the UK so if anyone has any MiO(???) alternatives then that'd be fabbo. (or just 0cal mixers? hate vodka and coke though.)
(sorry mods, take this down if needs be, thought it'd be my safest place to ask tho <3) (oh my god use more brackets?)
[Discussion] Had anti-anxiety medication ever helped anyone here with food cravings?
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Fri Jan 5 01:36:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o9y2t/had_antianxiety_medication_ever_helped_anyone/
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I have anxiety, and I think that triggers a lot of my overeating/binge eating. I’ve never tried anti-anxiety medication, but I’ve been considering it lately—especially if it might help me avoid overeating (I definitely sometimes eat to cope with stress, and I have a hard time reducing calories or even just for overeating because I get weirdly anxious about the idea of being hungry, and I think I’ve had that problem my whole life.)
Have any of you tried anxiety meds and noticed they helped with cravings/overeating/binging/etc?
Did they also help you lose weight?
Worst body image... Gained 50+ pounds in the last year.
/u/foxyphilophobic
Created: Fri Jan 5 00:17:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o9m3j/worst_body_image_gained_50_pounds_in_the_last_year/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Does thinspo not work for anyone else?
/u/villagethief
Created: Fri Jan 5 00:03:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o9jsg/does_thinspo_not_work_for_anyone_else/
---
Every time I see a pic of a skinny girl I just get so jealous and want to turn off my phone. I can’t look at thinspo without feeling horrible and just wanting to eat even tho it makes me fat. Ugh.
[Rant/Rave] I don't think anyone's ever gonna love me
/u/girltiredofwaiting [5'6" | CW: 231.8 | SW: 244.3/GW: 185/UGW: 130 | 21F]
Created: Thu Jan 4 21:11:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o8o85/i_dont_think_anyones_ever_gonna_love_me/
---
I've posted in here a few times before, and this isn't super ED related but I'm not sure where else to talk about it, I just need to vent.
So I'm fat - actually, literally obese, like I'm 5'6 and need to lose 46.8 pounds before I'm considered even overweight. Long story short, freshman year of college I fell into anorexia patterns due to some life trauma/problems and got down to 100 lbs, then recovered up to 140, then just... kept going. I got up to 243 with the help of some truly disgusting binging and now I'm a senior and trying to lose again in time for graduation in December.
I've had a low key crush on this one guy for literally the entire time I've been in college, we met the day after I moved into the dorms. He's smart and funny and gorgeous and I'm stupid and disgusting and ugly, even when I was thin, and I know there's no way he'd ever go out with me - now. Sophomore year there was one night we were hanging out that he was definitely hitting on me (like asked if I wanted to stay the night after watching a movie in his bed) but I was super dense and didn't realize anything was happening (and we were alone so there were no friends to tell me I was being stupid). And we used to hang out a ton, but this past year we haven't really been close anymore, and I just *know* it's because I got fat. Like my friends all want me to "finally ask him out" but I can't because I know he'll say no and it won't even be because of my face or personality it'll just be because I'm disgusting now, and then I'll have ruined a friendship/made everything awkward for nothing. And even if he says yes it would be out of pity or some weird misguided feeling because no one would ever actually want to date me as I am now, and I just hate myself because I could have had something good for two years but I fucked it up by not realizing and then I fucked my life up by eating my feelings for two years. I'm just sick and tired of being grotesque and feeling repulsed whenever I see myself (especially without clothes on) and feeling like I ruined my whole life and the one half-chance I'll ever get at finding love, because I know I'll only get lucky like that once. And I didn't even do anything about it.
[Help] dont believe calorie counts
/u/vctrlcs [5'6" | CW: 150.8 | UGW: 115 | BMI: 24.4 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 4 21:06:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o8n31/dont_believe_calorie_counts/
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Even when i count every calorie and it comes out to a number im happy with, if i feel ok (not dizzy or nauseous or super hungry) i am convinced i ate more than i thought. is this feeling at all accurate and if not how do i stop freaking out about it???????
[Help] Drop 5-10 lb in 7 days?? Help!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jan 4 20:58:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o8lko/drop_510_lb_in_7_days_help/
---
[deleted]
[Help] Please help me stop pooping so damn frequently!
/u/gotanaoohnana
Created: Thu Jan 4 20:17:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o8cvl/please_help_me_stop_pooping_so_damn_frequently/
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I know that the opposite issue is more common here, but my digestive system has never adjusted to the [otherwise incredible] antidepressants I am on. I was a 5x/week person. Now I'm a 4x/afternoon person! (weirdly not in the morning or night)
I've googled it a whole bunch but am finding really conflicting stuff about fiber and fats and stuff.
Can anyone shed some light on this please?
[Rant/Rave] I can't stop eating
/u/throwawaymyrazor [5'9" | CW 150 | 22.5 | GW 120]
Created: Thu Jan 4 19:59:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o88qb/i_cant_stop_eating/
---
I'm drunk right now so please excuse most of this.
I just have not been able to stop eating since like December 31st.
I am also drinking. Like, a lot.
I look at all of you, and as much as I am ashamed to say, I am jealous of your restriction Cycles.
I don't know what has happened to my self discipline the past week.
In all seriousness, I don't think I have eaten that much over maintenance, but I feel so terrible.
To make everything worse, my boyfriend is on a vacation for a week, and we have never spent this long without each other. While he is gone, I realized I have no friends and all I can do is sit at home and eat and drink.
Oh yeah, I am also mildly upset or bothered because I sent a really awesome and thoughtful secret santa, but I have not received one yet.
Please tell me I am not the only one who can't stop eating.
[Rant/Rave] Keto confusion?
/u/blerg1234567
Created: Thu Jan 4 19:24:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o81e3/keto_confusion/
---
Hey y’all. Hope you’re all feeling okay today (I assume “okay” is a good day for most of us 😂).
I’m wondering how many of you are keto-ing and how you feel about it?
I’ve been doing it for a few weeks (for the second time), but I still can’t get over the guilty feelings for eating so much “bad” food. I thought it would be a healthy way to move toward recovery (which it is, food wise. I def have been consuming more calories), but I can’t shake that feeling that makes me want to die after eating cheese.
It doesn’t help that the scale has stalled. 😒 But again, I’m trying to work on a more healthy relationship with food. I feel better, have more energy, crave less terrible stuff... so I guess I’m on the fence about it.
[Help] Need some advice with a family party!!
/u/fortunate-foolx [62 in. | 217 lb | 39 | -13 | 18F]
Created: Thu Jan 4 18:56:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o7v11/need_some_advice_with_a_family_party/
---
so i’m going to family “party” but it’s really just like a gathering to eat food and drink and it’ll only be my aunt, my stepmom, my aunts boyfriend, and my moms best friend. the problem is, it’s going to be exclusively fried foods. crab rangoon’s, mozzarella sticks, taquitos, fried zucchini, fried pickles, fried PIZZA ROLLS(?!?!). and i’m going to be expected to eat this shit? please help.
[Help] psych evaluation
/u/throw_away524
Created: Thu Jan 4 18:31:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o7ogu/psych_evaluation/
---
So my doc is sending me back to a psychiatrist. Honestly last time I lied SO bad because I was so afraid/in denial with my ed. I am just contomplating telling the truth, but it will mean my mom gets on my case and she will probably gossip to all my extended family. They do not understand ED's whatsoever. My cousin had/has anorexia and everyone treated her so awful.
Guys I have no idea why I am posting this but I am just so scared of everything. I wish I was 18, so I could make my own medical decisions and not tell any of my family about my illness. It seems like it should be private, and only I should know about it.
[Rant/Rave] Logged a binge on MFP for the first time in years and it's actually helped a lot.
/u/hairychestnuts
Created: Thu Jan 4 16:35:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o6xgd/logged_a_binge_on_mfp_for_the_first_time_in_years/
---
So for the new year I decided to log more ruthlessly than ever. Before it used to be extreme restriction, logging carefully, but one fuck up and it would be chaos and I wouldn't even bother logging.
You all know the feeling...having logged 600 calories for the day, having that one slice of cake and KNOWING its added another 400 or so , and deciding to say fuckit and eating everything and not bothering logging anything. Not even counting them as calories in my head because it doesn't show on MFP, which still floats at a steady and comfortable 600 calories for me to look at.
MFP doesn't log it but my body sure does, which my mind keeps on blocking out. My mind fools me into thinking a lot of things, all self-destructive of course.
Well anyway, today I binged badly. Cake, biscuits, hot chocolate. Not so badly that my mind fuzzed and failed to remember everything I ate (and believe me I have done that many times).
So here I am in bed, feeling disgusting, and I decided to log it. Everything I can remember, even if it's not that accurate. And MFP finished up for today at 2,654 calories. I'll be 4 kilos heavier than I am in 5 weeks time if I ate like this every day, apparently.
And I feel so much calmer. Ive acknowledged I've fucked up today. It's logged in my personal app and I feel better about starting fresh tomorrow. I don't really know what the point of this post is...but just wanted to share it here with you guys :)
[Rant/Rave] Vacation weight
/u/trappedinaclub
Created: Thu Jan 4 16:35:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o6xfo/vacation_weight/
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Ive been on vacation for a week. No scale and I’ve barely been able to track calories because we’ve been eating out almost every day. I’m extremely nervous about going home this Saturday and stepping on the scale. Part of me is hopeful that by some miracle I’ll still be at 140 but I️ know for a damn fact it’s gonna be more like 150. Fuck fuck fuck.
I️ don’t understand how my family is stuffing themselves with so much junk on this trip and not even worrying about it. Meanwhile, I’m freaking out about every bite in my head.
To make everything even worse, the family we came on vacation with who left a few days before we’re leaving, left us with a giant ass Costco cake and cheesecake, which are incredibly hard for me to resist. Like just adding fucking insult to injury.
And I’m also just having these conflicting thoughts in general. Because, I’ve actually been eating like a normal person on this trip, and as much as I️ hate myself for all the food, I’ve just noticed how well my body, other than the fat, is reacting. My acne started going away, the bags under my eyes are diminishing because I’ve actually been sleeping, my hair looks less dull and I️ actually feel a lot happier and less moody in general.
But in the back of my mind is just the nagging thought that I’m fat. And I️ can’t stop thinking about that. I️ can’t stop thinking about the fact that I would be so much prettier if I️ we’re just a bit thinner and if I️ were prettier I️ could just enjoy this trip so much more. If I️ we’re just back at 135 and my legs weren’t so fucking fat and my face wasn’t so fucking bloated all the time. And no matter how many times I️ try to get back down to that weight I️ just fail and fail and fail.
Sorry for the rant I️ just needed somewhere to write out these feelings. I️ hate vacations.
[Discussion] Japanese weight loss products?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 4 16:02:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o6p54/japanese_weight_loss_products/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I’m kind of torn
/u/BluestNovember [5'4" | SW: 200+ lbs | CW: too high | BMI: under 40 | -26lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jan 4 15:26:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o6got/im_kind_of_torn/
---
I had an allergic reaction and right now, I am on a shit ton of corticosteroids. I am so damn hungry right now from them, but terrified of piling I weight. Seriously, I’d rather be dead than gain weight. Does anybody else feel like that? I guess that’s what it means to have a eating disorder.
[Help] Would really appreciate your ideas
/u/little-paws
Created: Thu Jan 4 15:16:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o6e0i/would_really_appreciate_your_ideas/
---
Firstly, I'm ashamed to be back here because 2018 was going to be my ~healthy year but oh well here we are.
This month I have a lot of exams for my final year at uni. I cannot go above 300 calories a day (stupidly low restriction I know but I just can't cope with more right now). I would really appreciate any ideas on the best foods to eat within that so I am still able to study and take my exams.
Mentally I'm not in a place where I can go above 300, so I'm looking for the best damage limitation within that if possible. It sounds so dumb writing it out but I know that you guys will understand. Thanks so much :)
[Other] I feel like I deserve this
/u/KissMySlitWrist [Moo]
Created: Thu Jan 4 15:06:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o6ceu/i_feel_like_i_deserve_this/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] An apology for my story “how to be beautiful and thin”
/u/Skelethin
Created: Thu Jan 4 14:11:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o60k6/an_apology_for_my_story_how_to_be_beautiful_and/
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[removed]
I'm angry purging something my mom bought for me
/u/allyoucaneathatesme
Created: Thu Jan 4 13:11:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o5nhc/im_angry_purging_something_my_mom_bought_for_me/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Macros when restricting
/u/cxwang
Created: Thu Jan 4 12:38:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o5fz9/macros_when_restricting/
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[removed]
[Other] Just joined peach, add me (Brizyse) or drop your username:)
/u/Brizyse [5'5"|CW:Too Many|UGW:115|17F]
Created: Thu Jan 4 12:25:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o5cs1/just_joined_peach_add_me_brizyse_or_drop_your/
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[Discussion] Tumblr
/u/Elizawitch [5'3" | Female | CW: 100lbs | GW: 90lbs | UGW: 85lbs]
Created: Thu Jan 4 12:07:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o57z3/tumblr/
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Hey all! I just recently reopened my tumblr. Do any of you still use it, and can you attach your usernames so I can follow you. I only follow like 3 people and I need more.
Mine: suicidalwonderland666
[Discussion] Do you use aspirin in your EC (or ECA) stacks?
/u/skinnykitty1 [5'5'' | 124.7 | 20.8 | UGW: 115 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 4 11:38:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o50to/do_you_use_aspirin_in_your_ec_or_eca_stacks/
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Wondering if people only use ephedrine and caffeine or ephedrine, caffeine, and aspirin for their stacks.
Ephedrine and caffeine = EC
Ephedrine, caffeine, and aspirin = ECA
[Rant/Rave] i don't know what to believe
/u/psybeams [5'3 | CW 125 | GW 105| 17F]
Created: Thu Jan 4 11:29:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o4yd4/i_dont_know_what_to_believe/
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everyone tells me i'm so skinny, how much weight i've lost, that i need to eat...but i'll look in the mirror and i am so fucking fat, i actually disgust myself. i am not skinny, i'm fat and i don't know why no one will fucking admit it. i will never understand if they're lying or if my brain is lying. my teeth are yellowing from purging so much, i'm always freezing, i'm always fatigued, yet i'm still fat.
[Rant/Rave] A moment of realization from someone who is scared to reach out
/u/xParabola [5'7 | CW: 143.3 | 22.43 | -26.7 | 21F | 🍑: Daxia]
Created: Thu Jan 4 10:54:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o4pbf/a_moment_of_realization_from_someone_who_is/
---
Can I just rant a little? It probably doesn't make sense, though I never post here and I'm currently feeling so, so low.. I just need to reach out to someone and talk, but obviously my family and friends are off limits..
I never claimed to have an ED in any way. In fact, I feel like a fraud all the time. I'm not at an incredibly low weight and I was never diagnosed or anything. However, I didn't deny to myself that my eating habits were abnormal.
I'm just so.. angry and upset? I still feel like I cannot identify as someone with an ED (and I don't want to, seriously), but I've done it al. I've restricted, fasted, binged, purged, binged more, over-exercised, c/s-ed, fainted, told people I had eaten and most of all - **I told people I'm fine**.
This mentality really all started with self-hatred and low self-esteem way back, but let's not get into it. The 'disordered eating' habits, as I'll call them, started last year. **Last year**.
Guys, this is when I realized I might have a bigger problem than I thought I had. I moved to America and saw this as a life changing opportunity. I started eating better and working out more. Yeah. But eating better turned into eating less, feeling like I didn't deserve food and feeling so, so in control whenever I hadn't eaten and worked out for several hours a day.
I knew I was sliding downhill, especially when purging started. The first couple of times I felt devastated and guilty. Now I just sit here in my room and just got back from purging, really quite unfazed. I thought "Oh well". It just feels.. normal, while I very well know it's not.
And that's just what shocked me and led me to rant here and reach out. I've been dealing with this shit and these thoughts on my own. Because I'm a fraud and don't fit in. Also, I denied that I had any problems because "Me? Strong, independent me? Please". I felt that I needed to reach out, if that's okay, because I'm trying to acknowledge that I may actually, really have a problem (if I'm allowed to).
I remember so well telling myself last year that his was all just temporary and a phase. I was *just* indulging into the feeling of control I got by losing weight, restricting/fasting and denying food. And here I am a year later. **Living in the illusion that I'm okay, in control and not hurting my body. As if I'm not lying to everyone around me, including my family.** Who would be devastated if they knew what I do and have done.
This just wasn't the plan, guys.. I don't know what the fuck is happening to me.
*TLDR: acknowledged my behavior regarding food and my body is abnormal and not okay; thought these habits would fade though been at it for over a year; reaching out because I feel really alone all of a sudden and all this is tiring me out so much*
[Other] Trying to achieve the unachievable
/u/loseitjen [5'8 |SW 140|CW 125|GW 115| F21]
Created: Thu Jan 4 09:34:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o44qu/trying_to_achieve_the_unachievable/
---
This year I'm setting one very high goal for myself. Something most people would consider crazy. Something my friends have tried talking me out of. Something that surely will cause concern and worry from my loved ones. This year, my ultimate goal is to.... pull off low rise jeans.
I know what you're thinking! "What about the love handles!" "But they don't hide anything!" "You're not Britney Spears?!?!" I know all these things. Which is why it's the ultimate accomplishment to wear and *pull off* low rise jeans.
It's a new year, new me but I'm still livin' like its the 2000s baby! Wish me luck!
[Rant/Rave] I wish I could just eat.
/u/SvelteDreams [5'5" | CW 121.4lbs | GW 103lbs | 21F]
Created: Thu Jan 4 09:09:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o3y7f/i_wish_i_could_just_eat/
---
No considering the ratio of calories to protein. No restrictions on dairy, or packaged foods. No guilt for eating grains. Planning any meal feels like a limbo where I have to somehow make something from completely whole foods, vegan, no carbs, all protein... ugh. I wish I could just eat without feeling like every time I decide to make a meal I'm solving some impossibly complex system of equations. Because the fucked up thing is that I'm gonna binge anyway and screw up whatever carefully planned macros I decided were acceptable this week.
If I could just eat normally and forget about macros and calories and all my weird restrictions on food groups, I totally would and I probably would be healthier AND thinner. But I honestly don't even know how to get there anymore so I guess it's back to researching foods other than salmon and chicken breast and edamame that I might be able to feel ok about eating.
[Rant/Rave] The flu
/u/daintydaisydoll [5'1.5 / CW:102 / BMI: 19.72 / GW: 85]
Created: Thu Jan 4 09:06:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o3xgt/the_flu/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Today is my birthday
/u/sarajanebookish
Created: Thu Jan 4 08:32:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o3p1z/today_is_my_birthday/
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I never tell friends my birthday date. I don't like the attention and inevitably there are pressures to get treated to some food I don't want that has a lot of calories.
My brother, who lives across the country, remembered though and sent me an electronic gift card (thanks, bro!). I'm debating about what to do today. I'm thinking Halo Top:)
Edit: Thank you for all the kind messages. This is the BEST group! Welp, I DID get Halo Top vanilla bean and I topped it with Walden Farms maple syrup and it was AWESOME.:)
[Other] ://// can’t stop eating
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Thu Jan 4 07:39:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o3cq3/cant_stop_eating/
---
[removed]
My doctor wants me to be around 120 lbs
/u/Diamondwrists
Created: Thu Jan 4 07:10:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o36no/my_doctor_wants_me_to_be_around_120_lbs/
---
[removed]
[Other] Fasting
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 56.9 kg | -26.6 kg | 22F]
Created: Thu Jan 4 06:11:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o2v91/fasting/
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I planned to fast from sunday to friday and I actually managed to keep it up.
Today on day 4 I feel like crap but I refuse to give up.
I'm shaky, have a headache, can't stand up without getting dizzy but at least I lost 900g in 3 days.
Why I'm writing this? No idea, guess I didn't want to be alone with that. Hope you all are doing better and are less stupid than me.
I haven't cringed this hard in a long while.
/u/whimsicalfae776 [5'2.5 | 108 | 20.06 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 4 05:59:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o2t4u/i_havent_cringed_this_hard_in_a_long_while/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/7nxzwy/how_to_be_beautiful_and_thin/
Good news, everyone! My eating habits are perfectly normal and I don't have an ED! /s
/u/Diamondwrists
Created: Thu Jan 4 05:59:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o2szd/good_news_everyone_my_eating_habits_are_perfectly/
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https://i.imgur.com/HbtZqlC.png
[Help] I feel like I'm lying to myself
/u/caithaa [5'7 | 120 | 18.78 | 20F 🌼]
Created: Thu Jan 4 05:28:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o2nqi/i_feel_like_im_lying_to_myself/
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The scale says I've gained around 10 pounds, yet I keep telling myself it's bloating. Over new year's, all my relatives told me I looked like I'd lost weight and that I look good, but I am so confused. My belly looks like I'm pregnant so I also thought it was bloating, but it's been a week and I've been eating low fibre and drinking a lot of water (and a lot of tea). Does anyone know how else to get rid of bloat? Or so I can finally tell myself it's not actually bloating and that I've actually gained?
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support January 04, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jan 4 05:11:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o2l3h/weekly_emotional_support_january_04_2018/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! January 04, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jan 4 05:10:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o2kx0/daily_food_diary_january_04_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 04, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] myfitnesspal vs other calorie counting apps?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: underweight | 22f]
Created: Thu Jan 4 03:01:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o21ca/myfitnesspal_vs_other_calorie_counting_apps/
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what do u guys use as counting apps? i remember using some online tracker a while ago but it was on a clunky slightly outdated website. it seems like mfp is the most popular but lose it! seems pretty good idk what do u guys use to track/count?
Wellbutrin?
/u/glossboy
Created: Thu Jan 4 02:13:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o1up5/wellbutrin/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Tell me your post holiday weight gain to make me feel better
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jan 4 01:12:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o1m4f/tell_me_your_post_holiday_weight_gain_to_make_me/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Bingeing as self-harm
/u/raz563 [F | 5"11 | CW: 145 | GW: 125lb]
Created: Thu Jan 4 01:01:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o1kfg/bingeing_as_selfharm/
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Does anyone else binge to punish themself for things?
[Discussion] Fasting adventures
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jan 4 00:59:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o1k6q/fasting_adventures/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Even when I'm sick I try to restrict... getting scared now.
/u/hollowedheart_
Created: Thu Jan 4 00:58:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o1k0x/even_when_im_sick_i_try_to_restrict_getting/
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I have a chronic illness that I've dealt with for 5 years now. Chronic headache, fatigue, muscle aches, IBS, nerve pain/damage, Thyroid auto immune disease, you name it. I live with pain every waking moment of my life basically. Anyways, 5 years ago ( right before my health declined) that's when my ED was beginning to bloom. When I got really ill my ED/obsession took a back seat because my life was on the line with all the pain I was in. The doctors still don't know what's wrong with me.
Anyways, fast forward to now I can feel my ED coming back completely. I've been restricting a lot for the past couple of months and now I'm afraid I'm going to damage my health. I want to lose weight though again because being bedridden and not able to do things really makes me angry. Not being able to exercise really makes me mad sometimes. Last night I randomly felt really nauseous, my energy drained out of me completely and all my muscles started to hurt *insanely* bad. And I'm quite familiar with pain so when I say it really hurts, it does!
I had the chills and was shaking constantly. I had extreme stomach pains as well. I'm better today- still in bed but I'm hoping it's the flu or something. I'm also worried if restricting somehow caused it. I'm so scared. Today I didn't eat much but even when I'm feeling super bad I feel guilty eating. I'm not sure what to think anymore. But I'm scared my ED is coming back and is going to destroy my health again. Thank you for reading this :) deeply appreciate it.
[Other] what other mental illnesses/disorders do you guys have?
/u/KingOfBelarus [Height 5'10 | Weight Lost: never enough]
Created: Wed Jan 3 23:53:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o19sj/what_other_mental_illnessesdisorders_do_you_guys/
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Aside from your ED. Outside of EDNOS I'm stuck with anxiety and Asperger's.
[Discussion] What do you do? Do you like it?
/u/paraphrasis [174cm | 68kg | -5.5kg| 25F]
Created: Wed Jan 3 23:17:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o13zd/what_do_you_do_do_you_like_it/
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As the title says. I’m rather new in this sub and interested in hearing about you all!
What do you do in your daily life? Do you work, study, am on sick leave, freelance?
And how do you like it? Is there anything you would like to change about it?
[Rant/Rave] Frustrated, need to vent
/u/im-nobody-too [CW: 119lbs | GW: Maintain don't gain | 26f]
Created: Wed Jan 3 22:31:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o0vig/frustrated_need_to_vent/
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I went a long time without knowing my weight, but earlier this Winter I broke down and started weighing myself again. And, obviously, I'm suddenly obsessed with weighing myself every chance I get (as in multiple times an hour when I'm at home with my scale). And my weight is fluctuating so much! I've gained two pounds from where I was this time yesterday, even though I've only eaten about 1200 calories and (according to my fitbit) burned 2200 today.
I've been fluctuating from 118-121, and I hate that it crosses over a landmark number. Every time I weigh myself and it's over 120, I feel so disgusted with myself. And every time it's under, I promise myself that I'll never let it go back over. But then it does, whether I restrict or not.
And I'm so conflicted about the whole recovery/relapse thing. I've given the recovery thing a good try, and everyone who even knows that I used to be anorexic thinks I'm doing so well. I honestly want to be an inspiration story. But I'm also SO SICK of my 'recovered' and 'healthy' body, and I want to go back to being skinny. And why not, if I'm going to be depressed and have low-self esteem anyway? And possibly have permanent health issues from being underweight a few years ago? I feel like I'm a liar for pretending to be recovered, and I don't want to disappoint everyone who thinks I'm okay, but I can't deal with not being skinny, and right now my life is such a mess I don't feel like I've got anything to lose.
But it doesn't even matter what I WANT my weight to be, because clearly my body isn't going to let me lose weight anyway, probably because I'm getting old and slowing down, and I've damaged it enough from the years where I was consistently restricting and underweight.
Sorry for the rant,I'm feeling a little bit panicky and need to get this off my chest. And I'm sure a lot of you can relate.
[Discussion] new year's resolutions
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 3 22:22:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o0tun/new_years_resolutions/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] The worst part of this illness is that part of me will always want it
/u/Chaiteathaichi
Created: Wed Jan 3 22:14:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o0sb2/the_worst_part_of_this_illness_is_that_part_of_me/
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I’m trying to work towards recovery. I have good weeks and bad weeks. But, I can’t help but *want* to go back to it. Wtf is wrong with me? No part of me wants to be sick. I certainly know that what I do to myself is bad for my health. But, at the end of the day I still want to eat too few calories and exercise and lose weight. I can’t imagine someone with depression (without an ED) thinking at the end of the day that they miss being depressed so why the hell do I feel that way about my ED?
[Help] Been low-key restricting lately after some “time off”.....now struggling with something like dumping syndrome. Advice???
/u/qu1et1
Created: Wed Jan 3 21:35:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o0kv0/been_lowkey_restricting_lately_after_some_time/
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The cramps/diarrhea are killing me omg
[Help] How did you lose those last ten pounds?
/u/leezyleezy [5'5 | CW: 115.5 | BMI: 19.2 | GW: 105 | -35 lbs | 17F]
Created: Wed Jan 3 21:14:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o0gqa/how_did_you_lose_those_last_ten_pounds/
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[removed]
[Help] will my dentist know i purge?
/u/lbredj [5'3" | 104 | BMI 18.1 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 3 21:12:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o0gbw/will_my_dentist_know_i_purge/
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okay, to preface, i dont purge daily. i purge maybe 3 times a week every other week and i always rinse with baking soda and water afterwards.
i have a doctors appt. in the morning that im stressing out about, im a minor and i really dont want my mom to know i purge.
would they be able to tell i purge? if so, would they tell my mom? this is gnawing at me
edit: i just got back from my appointment and they didn't notice anything bad, but i do have a cavity but i dont know if thats my from my diet soda obsession or purging lmao. thanks for the responses 💖
[Other] This Child by Amy Medina
/u/MarkOsorio
Created: Wed Jan 3 20:58:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o0djn/this_child_by_amy_medina/
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[removed]
[Other] Almost passed out walking up the stairs to my apartment, but at least my macros are on point
/u/oneblueboot [5' 7.5" | CW 122 lbs | GW 112 | 18.8 | 26F]
Created: Wed Jan 3 20:37:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o09bw/almost_passed_out_walking_up_the_stairs_to_my/
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http://imgur.com/ywn81sF
[Other] reminders
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 3 20:35:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o08sm/reminders/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Challenge Accepted
/u/foxlatte [5'8" ♡ cw: 195 ♡ bmi: 29.33 ♡ gw: 130 ♡ 22f]
Created: Wed Jan 3 20:32:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o087b/challenge_accepted/
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It's a shame I'm so sensitive. Since I started birth control and got back on Lexapro i've reaches my highest weight of 198 (rip to my previous flair). Today I was scanning my tomato soup into LoseIt! and my brother (who has a super high metabolism and can eat anything and stay thin) made a comment saying "this being healthy thing, you won't last". I'm super competitive so ya know what it's (lmao not healthy at all thing) going to last and i'm going to fucking lose this 60 pounds.
[Help] Worry from friends/family
/u/Idunnoking [5’1 | CW90.6| GW95 | 16F✨]
Created: Wed Jan 3 20:14:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o04fu/worry_from_friendsfamily/
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So recently I’ve been off for Christmas break and since it’s started I have been seeing extended family and friends and unfortunately almost everyone has been expressing concern about my weight. I have a pretty small sized frame and am 90ish lbs, 5’1. I’m not sure how to respond most of the time and I’m trying to recover but I haven’t been able to come out and tell any the adults/guardians in my life and I was wondering if it might be time to since the collective worry or if they are just being overreactive ?? Because to me, I don’t feel like I look deathly ill but their reactions have kind of made me consider my own warped perception possibly. Does being this weight actually pose any risks?
[Rant/Rave] Hunger headache but my mom made fun of me eating...
/u/dipped_in_gold_ [5'3 | CW ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | GW 105 | 22F]
Created: Wed Jan 3 20:02:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o01xh/hunger_headache_but_my_mom_made_fun_of_me_eating/
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...so I guess that means I'm spending the rest of my night looking at food porn instas and crying :-)
Seriously tho, I eat 600 calories over 2 meals and apparently I'm "eating everything in the house." Fuck this, I'm so ready to be back home so I can eat or not eat in peace and quiet.
Im about to binge on fast japanese food, you know those teppan meals?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 3 19:56:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7o00m5/im_about_to_binge_on_fast_japanese_food_you_know/
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[deleted]
[Help] i can't seem to stop.
/u/bmddx
Created: Wed Jan 3 19:49:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nzz9z/i_cant_seem_to_stop/
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another binge, another purge. fantastic. every day is the day i say i'll force myself back on track, & every day, i fall back into eating too much just to taste something. just because. & i know how great it feels when i haven't eaten much; i just don't know why i'm ignoring that motivator. ugh. what do y'all do to keep from binging?
[Help] Who else feels depressed when they’re restricting or fasting?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 3 19:16:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nzruy/who_else_feels_depressed_when_theyre_restricting/
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Whenever I’m fasting or not eating over 500cal for the day, my mood plummets and apart from having no energy and irritable (which are expected), I get extremely sad and prone to burst into tears. My mood then perks up when I start binging. I start of feeling ‘normal’ after I’ve eaten; then the cycle continues.
How do you deal with the depressive mood when not eating a lot, or how do you alleviate your mood without using food?
Thanks 😋
[Discussion] accidentally eating above maintenance and saying "fuck it"?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: underweight | 22f]
Created: Wed Jan 3 18:36:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nziw9/accidentally_eating_above_maintenance_and_saying/
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i ate a rice bowl today that i estimated was around 500-700 calories because it was mostly vegetables, but apparently an average serving is like 1,100 calories whoops! at first, i felt that familiar sense of panic and then was like...fuck it? and got home and ate all these mini chocolate chips and a corner of peppermint bark and maybe 1/2 cup greek yogurt + dry cereal and *barely* stopped myself from making a fucking quesadilla w/ *full fat* shredded cheese. i kinda have a dinner plan which is mostly why i was like UM okay just fuck me up i guess i better eat literally everything!
definitely going above maintenance today. my stomach is already pretty bloated (also drank a fuckton of water). anyone else have those moments where you're just like lmao fuck it, i already fucked up my calories for the day so i might as well eat literally whatever i want in the next 5 hours?
Contraceptives?
/u/PlaTOESatlantis
Created: Wed Jan 3 18:31:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nzhtm/contraceptives/
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So.. i'm back again after almost a year. Hi!!!
I know I've gained a tonne of weight but haven't weighed myself because fuck that depression, but I've got considerably fatter since starting the pill in early October.
Now I know it has a rep for causing weight gain/increasing appetite/water weight/bloating etc but I take it mainly because I'm a raging pms psychopath otherwise.
Any advice on alternatives? Or am I gonna have to be either fat and not mental OR slim and crazy?
[Rant/Rave] just cried over food for the first time
/u/intensitei [5’8 | fat | 23F]
Created: Wed Jan 3 18:26:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nzgoz/just_cried_over_food_for_the_first_time/
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i’ve been doing this IF-ish thing where i don’t eat all day from morning until about 6-7pm and then let myself have a meal under a certain number of cals
i was famished and dizzy today and still felt weird after drinking powerade zero so i thought i’d treat myself to some junk food because i’m disgusting and it’s my weakness and makes me feel full and whatever
so i figured out the cals for a sandwich, a medium fry and a diet soda at mcdonald’s
i went there and the girl was rude. okay, sucks whatever. we left the restaurant. then halfway back to the house, i tasted my drink and i felt like the dr. pepper wasn’t diet. got flustered. still can’t tell if it is or not. but okay whatever. i recalculated the cals and it was a number that didn’t upset me.
got to the house. stayed in the car because i’m ashamed and i don’t want people to watch me eat or be aware that i am eating.
ate some fries and chilled. finally opened sandwich box and it was crispy instead of grilled. (edit: i looked it up and it’s *called* the artisan grilled. i didn’t think they even subbed it for crispy often enough for it to be a mistake. idk if that makes sense??) i didn’t even take the time to recalculate or come up with another option i just broke down in my car (thank god i’m alone in here)
once the tears started really flowing i realized how fucking crazy and stupid i am for crying over this and then i started sobbing. like vocally sobbing. and i’m still sitting here with a wet face and trying not to cry and i’ve been trying to save money and i spent money on that goddamn food and i’m so tired of being fat and ugly and hating myself but maybe that’s what i get for wanting, buying, and enjoying junk food
i had such a bad year last year. i had my first suicide attempt. found out i had cancer AGAIN. i struggled. a lot.
then finally got back on the meds that worked for me and by the very first day of the new year, i felt good. i felt like i wanted to live and work hard to enjoy life. i guess by trying so hard to latch onto that positivity i had on jan 1st, i unknowingly tried to wash away the pain i went through and ignore that i’m still traumatized or something???? maybe??
i don’t know but now i’m sad because all i wanted was a nice juicy grilled chicken sandwich with tomato, some fries, a diet dr. pepper, a certain number of calories and.. maybe for someone to be nice to me. i didn’t even think that rude girl got to me but when i started crying harder once thinking back on how she treated us, i figured it must’ve been the cherry on top of seeing my fucked up order.
at least my skin is soft from the tears lmao. yay skincare
idk. i just want a hug and some warm black coffee.
[Goal] Reached goal weight, feel worse
/u/ChasingHouse
Created: Wed Jan 3 18:15:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nzea6/reached_goal_weight_feel_worse/
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I don't post here a lot. I'm on mobile so can't flair sorry
This morning I reached my gw- underweight. My body is still so flabby and jiggly, and knowing that I'm underweight is so triggering because my body looks as bad as when I started.
Guess I'm fasting today because fuck me right???? I thought I would be small and it would make someone care. But maybe it's because my BMI is only just barely underweight at 18. So i guess my new goal is BMI 16 because another 5ish kilos might make someone notice.
Idk I just feel so underwhelmed and disappointed. I thought it was a magic number that would make everything better but here I am and nothing has changed. Sorry if this doesn't make sense I just wanted to tell someone
[Rant/Rave] I think I've been caught but I don't actually care
/u/sogyosha
Created: Wed Jan 3 18:13:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nzdsd/i_think_ive_been_caught_but_i_dont_actually_care/
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This is a super pointless post but anyway I've been purging ever since I relapsed at the beginning of last year, but the last time my family knew about my ED was like, middle school. I didn't realize someone was home so I wasn't being particularly quiet or sneaky when purging. Came out of the bathroom to see the lights on in the kitchen. Oops.
But I don't care. About anything, actually. I've accepted a long time ago that I'm just killing time right now because life doesn't fucking matter to me at all. So what would it matter if they knew? It doesn't stop me or make anything better. To my very core I am shrugging tbh.
[Discussion] Request for help: Coping mechanisms outside of the ED?
/u/dbt-girl [5'2" | 114]
Created: Wed Jan 3 17:56:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nza2k/request_for_help_coping_mechanisms_outside_of_the/
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I’m having a bit of an... episode... I suppose, and I’ve recently learned how easy it is to numb with alcohol.
Even six months ago, I never thought I’d abuse alcohol. I didn’t even party in college, but life is sorta different now.
I kind of got forced into single parenthood, and despite how resistant I was to becoming a parent, pretty much everyone I know will say I’m a good mom.
For those of you who don’t have kids, this next part will be a little difficult to understand, but try not to judge, as I will explain.
My almost two year old didn’t nap today at daycare. He is also a little under the weather. He is active and playful, but refused to eat dinner. He was tired and upset, so I laid him down 30 minutes early. But I couldn’t handle the crying, so I shut his door, went in my room, shut my door, and then went into the closet and shut that door.
I know that sounds bad, but as a parent it’s much better to recognize your limits and step away from the situation than it is to snap, as that’s how abuse begins, I think.
Well anyway. He’s finally up and eating, so that’s good. However, once he goes to bed I’m tempted to just drink and pass out.
I don’t want to eat anything because I just started my new barista job and they are training the fuck out of us before store opening. Even though it shouldn’t matter, I feel a bit triggered by all the milk I had... and watching Frappuccino videos (shudder).
So yeah. Like a lot of ED people here, I pretend alcohol calories are less scary than food calories. Lol. It makes no sense. And sometimes instead of thinking about an empty stomach it’s nice to just have a magically shortened night and go to sleep.
I already feel better just from writing, but still. How do you handle emotional situations ?
I am tired of the typical arsenal of coping mechanisms :/
[Other] Why do I keep buying food I know I won’t eat?
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW:142 |CW:123 |20.6 |GW:110 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 3 17:46:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nz7iw/why_do_i_keep_buying_food_i_know_i_wont_eat/
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Seriously, I always do this! I go grocery shopping as if I actually eat and then I just let the food rot in my fridge and buy more groceries. I can’t tell you how many eggs and fruits I’ll buy and have to throw out because I look at them and don’t even touch them. It’s been worse lately, since I’m moving back home in 2 weeks. I bought groceries today and I just sit in front of my fridge and stare at them knowing damn well that I don’t have it in me to eat anything anymore. Does anyone else do this too? It makes no sense and I really can’t explain why I do this.
[Help] I wanted to change in the new year but it's already taking control.
/u/beneaththeblue
Created: Wed Jan 3 17:14:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nz076/i_wanted_to_change_in_the_new_year_but_its/
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I told myself that 2018 would be binge/purge/restriction free. I told myself that I would eat healthily and consume the correct amount of calories for my height/weight.
It's 3 days in and I feel worse than ever. I can do it during the day when I'm around others but when I'm alone it's like I suddenly become a completely different person. It's as if some neurotic monster takes over my mind. I just binged on whatever I could find in the house. I just ate marmite off a spoon and half a chocolate cake and some cookies and some breakfast bars and 2 bowls of cereal. Then I tied my hair up in a bun, downed 3 glasses of water and purged into a bowl in the kitchen so my mum wouldn't hear from upstairs. This is the 3rd night in a row that I have emptied vomit into the kitchen bin.
Instead of spending the evening studying I just spent hours googling how many calories are in cocktails so I know what I can drink when I go out on Friday night. Scouring the nutritional facts on the menu for the restaurant I know I'll be eating out at so that I can look like I'm eating normally to others without consuming more than my restriction amount.
I tense up whenever someone mentions anything about food and suddenly feel like I have to concentrate hard on how to respond like a normal person. I can't even remember when I started to become this person but I still can't bring myself to miss my old, happy self. Because the old me was 35lbs heavier.
I want to talk to someone so bad but I can't bring myself to ask people for help. I can't even use the words, they physically get caught in my throat when I try to talk about it. I'm so so tired of losing control. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm not strong enough to keep fighting.
[Rant/Rave] i think i just ate over 1,000 calories and it's only 4 p.m
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 3 16:46:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nytrx/i_think_i_just_ate_over_1000_calories_and_its/
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[deleted]
[Help] Distractions from eating?
/u/runjumpflip [5'3 | CW 110 | 19.5 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 3 16:18:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nyn1c/distractions_from_eating/
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I'm having a really hard time today avoiding eating my dudes. I'm restricting to 500 and I'm already at 192 and the day is like halfway over. I try to save the bulk of my calories for right before I go to bed so it feels like I get to eat something substantial. So I just really need some distractions that aren't too physically straining. I've been laying in bed all day watching breaking bad lol. Now I'm doing housework. Encouragement and suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Thanks guys ✌️
[Help] How do I eat enough to exercise?
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 198lbs | M]
Created: Wed Jan 3 16:18:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nymvc/how_do_i_eat_enough_to_exercise/
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Exercising gives me the stability I need to continue restricting, for whatever reason. I can’t run on 1000/1200kcal, though, can I? Should I have more protein in the morning (5:30am) before I run?
Alternatively, do you have any general advice for exercising on a deficit when I have class later in the morning and need to be able to focus?
[Rant/Rave] Trying to Impress Boyfriends Mum.
/u/daintydaisydoll [5'1.5 / CW:102 / BMI: 19.72 / GW: 85]
Created: Wed Jan 3 16:16:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nymh8/trying_to_impress_boyfriends_mum/
---
My boyfriends mum is visiting next month and I feel like a wreak because of it. She's a tall, thin, and good looking woman in her 50's. On top of this she is very judgemental and perfectionistic. I need to be perfectly thin and flat tummied before she arrives. I want to prove to her that I'm good enough for her son, especially since his ex was stunning. On top of all this Im foreign and I feel like I'll always be looked down upon for it, and desperately trying to prove to that I'm on of them. Sorry I just needed to vent.
[Help] Relapsed because seroquel messed up hunger cues
/u/abbiyah
Created: Wed Jan 3 16:16:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nymgj/relapsed_because_seroquel_messed_up_hunger_cues/
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I had an eating disorder as a young adult and managed recovery on my own. Learned to fuel my body and listen to my hunger cues.
Now I'm in the middle of a relapse, mainly due to massive weight gain on Seroquel. In order to not gain more, I had to stop listening to my hunger cues, which was the biggest part of my recovery.
I'm on Seroquel for bipolar one. How do I tell my psychiatrist I need to come off of it? I've lost the Seroquel weight, so I can't tell her it's because of the weight gain. I don't want to tell her about the eating disorder history because I don't really trust her, and im working on finding a new psychiatrist.
[Other] I don't even know who I am anymore
/u/Glazed9000 [5'7' | 125 |]
Created: Wed Jan 3 16:02:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nyiso/i_dont_even_know_who_i_am_anymore/
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I used to be so full of life, so curious, and hopeful. Constantly laughing, making friends, enjoying my hobbies. My future was so bright. Bad things happened, but never stuck around.
Where did I go wrong? I find myself always grasping onto old memories. When I look at old pictures I see a carefree girl. Unsuspecting. Naive. But I was so satisfied. I had my imagination and personality.
Where is the girl I was 5 year ago? Is she still in there somewhere? Or is she just a numb, soulless human who can only see numbers on a scale, numbers on a measuring tape, food in the pantry and fridge, calories, fat, bones, and ultimately death.
Where did I go? Who am I?
[Help] i want to weigh myself so bad
/u/region-saliva
Created: Wed Jan 3 15:38:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nyd7d/i_want_to_weigh_myself_so_bad/
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I’ve already checked twice today and it was still 123.7 but I’m so fucking paranoid that I’m gonna gain it back by eating anything today. fuck. on one hand if i stays the same then I know that I’ll feel fine afterwards. On other hand if I’m anything over 123.7 then i will feel even wore. Fuuuuuckkk. Does anyone know ways that I can calm myself down/distraction myself? It’s all I can think about right now.
[Rant/Rave] Fasting!!
/u/HarleyBabyxxx
Created: Wed Jan 3 15:37:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nyd34/fasting/
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[removed]
An Amazing article on Chronic overeating and how serious of an addiction it is
/u/High_as_red [5'4 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 3 15:32:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nybos/an_amazing_article_on_chronic_overeating_and_how/
---
https://www.thefix.com/content/oa-vs-aa
[Rant/Rave] more time for ED without boyfriend
/u/fortunate-foolx [62 in. | 217 lb | 39 | -13 | 18F]
Created: Wed Jan 3 15:21:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ny8wm/more_time_for_ed_without_boyfriend/
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i feel as though i have more time to do what i want food-wise because now the only person who knew anything about it is out of my life and i dont know what to do. like i'm sad, yeah but i'm also really happy because i can lose all this weight and then he will regret breaking up with me because that's how it works right?
[Other] "Curl Up and Diet" by Ogden Nash
/u/daffodilhill [5'8.5" | 148 | 21.9 | -27 | GW 120]
Created: Wed Jan 3 15:13:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ny70i/curl_up_and_diet_by_ogden_nash/
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Some ladies smoke too much and some ladies drink too much and some ladies pray too much,
But all ladies think that they weigh too much.
They may be as slender as a sylph or a dryad,
But just let them get on the scales and they embark on a doleful jeremiad:
No matter how low the figure the needle happens to touch,
They always claim it is at least five pounds too much;
To the world she may appear slinky and feline,
But she inspects herself in the mirror and cries, Oh, I look like a sea lion.
Yes, she tells you she is growing into the shape of a sea cow or manatee,
And if you say No, my dear, she says you are just lying to make her feel better, and if you say Yes, my dear, you injure her vanity.
Once upon a time there was a girl more beautiful and witty and charming than tongue can tell,
And she is now a dangerous raving maniac in a padded cell,
And the first indication her friends and relatives had that she was mentally overwrought
Was one day when she said, I weigh a hundred and twenty-seven, which is exactly what I ought.
Oh, often I am haunted
By the thought that somebody might someday discover a diet that would let ladies reduce just as much as they wanted,
Because I wonder if there is a woman in the world strong-minded enough to shed ten pounds or twenty,
And say There now, that’s plenty;
And I fear me one ten-pound loss would only arouse the craving for another,
So it wouldn’t do any good for ladies to get their ambition and look like somebody’s fourteen-year-old brother,
Because, having accomplished this with ease,
They would next want to look like somebody’s fourteen-year-old brother in the final stages of some obscure disease,
And the more success you have the more you want to get of it,
So then their goal would be to look like somebody’s fourteen-year-old brother’s ghost, or rather not the ghost itself, which is fairly solid, but a silhouette of it,
So I think it is very nice for ladies to be lithe and lissome.
But not so much so that you cut yourself if you happen to embrace or kissome.
[Discussion] DAE spend hours inputing different food combinations in calorie tracking apps?
/u/mynormalheart [5' 3" | CW: Landwhale -18lb | GW: 137 | UGW: 115| 25F]
Created: Wed Jan 3 15:05:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ny4rj/dae_spend_hours_inputing_different_food/
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I've been restricting to 700-800 lately and I spend so much time doing this, trying to figure out what I can eat and stay within range. It's almost like a substitute for eating. I spend hours on my tracking app and I'm kind of obsessive about it, then I don't even end up eating anything. I feel so fucking weird.
Edit: sorry mobile couldn't flair, would probably put it as discussion?
[Help] My boyfriend has joined my family in commenting that I need to eat more
/u/thebeesknees19 [Height 5’6.5” | CW 100 lbs | BMI 16.21 | -20 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jan 3 15:00:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ny3h0/my_boyfriend_has_joined_my_family_in_commenting/
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Hi, I’ve been lurking for a while, but this is my first time posting here. A little background, I’ve struggled with disordered eating for as long as I can remember, but my first real, concrete manifestation of it was my freshman year of high school when I dropped from 130 lbs to 95 lbs. Since then, I’ve been on a roller coaster of weight change from anywhere between 105 lbs to 130 lbs. In the last two years, I’ve struggled with substance and alcohol abuse that kind of quieted the need to restrict and to binge and to constantly exercise in my head and settled at just under 120 lbs.
Recently, however, that addiction started to take over my life in a way that was getting far out of hand. I quit cold turkey - no rehab, no therapy, just me and my cat. Because I’m no longer drinking, getting high, and eating like I’m drunk and/or high every. single. day. and because my personal, professional, and academic lives decided to go to hell all at once, I’ve lost about 20 pounds from stress, anxiety, and depression. Because of that weight loss (the fucked part of my head really loves being this small again) and the lack of control I’ve had in my life, I started restricting again, honestly without even realizing it at first. But as the pounds started disappearing, I fell more and more back into restricting, and now that I’m here, I’m terrified of the numbers going back up.
However, both my parents and my boyfriend have begun commenting about how much weight I’ve lost. I went home for the first time in four months for Thanksgiving and then for Christmas, and all my dad could say to me was that I need to eat more. It’s one thing to hear it from my parents - they don’t even know that I have a drug problem, much less that I’m fixing it. Only that I’m not drinking every night at their house anymore and that I’m eating less.
However, now my boyfriend is talking about it to me with increasing frequency. I know it’s because he cares about me, and he knows what I’ve struggled with in the past. He’s also had several exes with disordered eating, so this isn’t really new to him. I feel bad and don’t want to add any more stress to his life, but at the same time...I’m not sure I can stop right now. I want to be healthy and normal and just not give a fuck about how many calories or grams of sugar is in this or that, but it’s so deeply fucking engrained in my head that I don’t know if I can stop right now. Even just talking about or much less thinking about gaining weight makes me nauseous. In a sick way, some days restricting is the only thing keeping me sane anymore without drugs.
I know he wouldn’t ever do it unless he thought it was absolutely necessary, but I’m an extremely anxious and paranoid person and can’t suppress the thought of him telling my parents what’s going on with me. I would lose my independence, everything I’ve worked so hard to get, and be forced to move back home, which would make things a thousand times worse.
I don’t really know what I’m looking for; I just kind of needed to get it out of my head. I don’t want anyone to hurt because of me and what I’ve done to my body, but I also don’t have the strength to stop. If anyone has any advice on how to approach those kinds of situations with family/SOs I would greatly appreciate it, because I know enough to know that saying “I don’t know if I’m ready for recovery” is NOT a good answer.
Edit: Formatting on mobile. Also sorry, I didn’t realize how long this was. D:
[Discussion] How to get back on track
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 3 14:53:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ny1uy/how_to_get_back_on_track/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] My boss called me fat.
/u/BigBootySnitches [26/5'2''/F | SW: 165 | CW: 143 | LW: 122 | GW: 110]
Created: Wed Jan 3 14:51:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ny1bw/my_boss_called_me_fat/
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TL;DR: boss called out my weight gain, potentially ruining my recovery trend
Hey y'all, long-time lurker/first-time poster. I always wanted my first post to be a rave about hitting my goal weight, but it is what it is.
I started restricting maybe a little under 6-8 months ago. I'm 5'2'' and had moved to a new city; one where people walked and used public transit more often. I had moved at a high weight of 163-167 lbs, but simply through having to walk more I dropped to 145-150 lbs. My employers at the time were this terrible married couple, and the wife would constantly pick at all my insecurities: making fun of everything from my clothes to my friends to my low income bracket (despite being the person who set my salary). Thanks to an already healthy dose of mental illness coupled with the small joy I associated with every pound I had lost, I ended up with a full blown eating disorder. I enjoyed having control and order over at least one thing in my life, and I was able to drop to 122 lbs in a few months.
My therapist and close friends were naturally upset by this development, and worked hard to help me start recovery. I left my abusive workplace and started a job I enjoyed a lot more with good pay, I rebuilt my support network in my new city, actually going out and meeting people and making friends. As of last October I was eating full complete meals without counting calories and skipping days for fasting.
Fast forward to yesterday. I technically work for a somewhat wealthy family: an elderly mom and dad, their son, and their son's wife. The mom and dad are great but the son is terrible and the wife is fun to hang out with, but she is very superficial and judgmental. She had just returned from maternity leave from her first child and has already lost most of the weight, and her regular comments about how gross her extra fat was had already been slightly triggering.
However, what was worse was when I walked out of an office to greet her, and the first thing she said was, "Oh, you DID gain a lot of weight." Which is doubly cool in that she not only managed to insult me, but she also let me know the other family peeps were commenting on it behind my back.
Anyways, I don't know if it was the weight mention itself, or it was something about the way she did it that took me back to my last abusive boss, but it triggered something and now the idea of eating makes me nauseated and even when I forced myself to eat lunch today, I found myself practicing my restriction regime (full glass of water before meal, minimum 20 chews per bite, 2 minutes between each bite with 2 gulps of water, do for 20-25 mins and stop eating). I'm begging my body to just eat it's meals, but god, now I am so disgusted with myself and how I look again. I'm worried it'll lead to a full regression but I don't want to tell my friends and therapist unless I'm sure because otherwise they'll make a big deal and I'll feel terrible for dragging them back into this.
I'm mainly mad at myself for constantly finding these types of people who use their power to be terrible and get away with it, and for not being able to base my self-worth of my own opinion, and for being so fucking weak that I can't even make myself do something that humans don't even have to be taught how to do. Maybe at least in this cycle I'll actually hit my goal weight.
[Help] Water retention?
/u/BlondeActually
Created: Wed Jan 3 14:15:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nxrux/water_retention/
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In the last week or two I’ve been retaining water like a bitch. My stomach is distended and bloated all the time and I know it’s water weight since I wake up in the morning with it completely flat. I haven’t changed my diet at all and I’m drinking the same amount of water daily.
How on earth do I get rid of this excess water weight?
[Help] opened a pack of biscuits
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Wed Jan 3 14:06:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nxpk3/opened_a_pack_of_biscuits/
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[removed]
Texting buddy?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 3 13:58:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nxn6j/texting_buddy/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nxn6j/texting_buddy/
Keto diet as recovery
/u/Diet_throwaway420
Created: Wed Jan 3 13:47:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nxkhb/keto_diet_as_recovery/
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I have a tendency to binge on junk food and then starve myself for a while after to "purge". It's kept me at a pretty normal weight and I'm good at hiding it from my friends, family, and co-workers. Still, I know this is sick, and I'm doing the best I can with recovery this year. I'm trying the keto diet again because not only can you eat a truly healthy diet, but it's got a lot of restrictions which satisfies a certain need for ritual, routine, and control. I crave sugar the worst when I'm in binge mode and once you've "detoxed" you don't crave it as much. It's really tough at first, but I did this last year for 6 months and I felt great. I have dealt with eating disorders since I was (almost) 12 years old. At 26, I need to take charge of my own life. I know I can't be the only one starting over this year. Thanks for reading this, and have a happy 2018!
*sorry im on mobile and can't flair this post.
vaping
/u/dievice [5'10" | CW 110 | GW 95 | UGW dead | 15 | 21F (⚧)]
Created: Wed Jan 3 13:26:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nxf1a/vaping/
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anyone else here vape when they're hungry? there are 0 calories in vape liquid but my tank gives off amazing flavour so it feels like i ate something because of the flavour. maybe i'm tricking my brain into thinking i did. it's not the only reason i started but it's a very nice bonus ヽ(´ー｀)ノ some people say that the smell of vapour makes them hungrier though soo idk
[Help] Tips to reduce puffy cheeks
/u/Boringfantasyland [Height:164cm | CW:108lbs | BMI:18.49|Gender:M]
Created: Wed Jan 3 13:24:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nxene/tips_to_reduce_puffy_cheeks/
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School starts back up again tomorrow and I've been b/p since Christmas break started. I'm working on stopping purging since that's the only to stop swelling permantly but my face is so swollen and puffy. It looks awful. Any tips to help?
[Rant/Rave] 107. I wanna die
/u/dre-ezy [5’4 | CW 101.2 | ftm ]
Created: Wed Jan 3 12:56:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nx779/107_i_wanna_die/
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Once I dipped under 100 I reached back out to the ED clinic and since then I’ve binged up to 107 and now theyre supposed to call me today :—)
This isnt fair I can’t get help now I’m too fat fuck my life
[Discussion] So Halo Top is in Tesco now...
/u/Rhyanon [5'7" | cw:158 | bmi:23.74 | lost:-31 | ugw:120]
Created: Wed Jan 3 12:19:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nwxe5/so_halo_top_is_in_tesco_now/
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https://imgur.com/a/TfNad
[Rant/Rave] A week in and I'm already down a pant size!
/u/memelinda [5'7 | sw: 203 | cw: 190 | gw: 130 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 3 11:20:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nwi2z/a_week_in_and_im_already_down_a_pant_size/
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I'm so happy guys!! I've been struggling my whole life with switching between binging and fasting. For the past year all I have done is binge and it made my weight go up to 203!! I felt horrible after Christmas and decided enough was enough.
I've been doing around 200-400 cals in total (800 to 1000 each day minus how much I exercise) for just over a week now and my pants that I bought a month ago are falling off of me.
I can't believe it and I'm so fucking happy!
My weight isn't coming off as fast as I thought but I think my body needs to get used to my cal intake. Normally my TDEE 2338 and I'm only eating around 300 so that's a 2000 deficit. My weight is fluctuating a bit but ultimately is going down. Is there anything else that I should do to help? I drink around 2L of water everyday and my exercise is about 500 cals each day.
20 down, 58 to go. (Can't update stats rn will do later)
(Tagging this as rant/rave because I think that's appropriate but if not please tell me so I can change)
[Discussion] Recovery Day 2
/u/Tinytidy
Created: Wed Jan 3 11:05:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nwe5h/recovery_day_2/
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(if this isn't allowed, I get it.)
So yesterday I impulsively decided I have to stop making myself more sick and start making myself less sick. I deleted all my tracking apps and peach. I almost but didn't quite delete all my body checks.
Because I'm recovering.
Or trying to. It's only the second day but this shit is hard.
Yesterday I kept counting calories or else feeling the urge to binge or debating going to the gym or using "behaviors" just because my head doesn't know what else to do. I did end up going out with friends and then making vegan grilled cheese and tomato soup drunk last night at 2 in the morning which I would not have done before, or it would have been in an embarrassing binge state.
Today I'm hung over and sick and the morning donut binge I fell asleep fantasizing about isn't going to happen (thank god).
I don't know, I already feel a little more in control of myself. And it feels good knowing I can get drunk and eat grilled cheese and everything is still a-ok. It's also cool to think that someday I could wake up and go to the donut shop and maybe get one and enjoy it and then move on.
Mostly it's really lonely and boring right now though.
So the discussion part of this thing where I just talk about myself a lot: to those of you who have recovered, how do you find new stuff to think about?
I'm letting myself eat whatever but trying to do it mindfully or whatever. So binges may or may not happen and I'm attempting to stay neutral about that. But I feel like my constant calorie diary in my head and the incessant desire/ compulsion to taste different foods is LOUD. What do?
Also, I miss peach a lot. I wish it wasn't triggering because y'all on there are the best.
Comments at the gym
/u/pm_me_ur_eyeholez [5'4.5" | CW: ugh| HW: 250/LW: 130/GW: 107| 26F]
Created: Wed Jan 3 11:04:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nwdz4/comments_at_the_gym/
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On mobile pls flair as a RANT bc FUCK anyone who makes comments to anyone else they see at the gym. It's a new fucking year, a lot of ppl are trying to get in shape. Fucking great. But don't say anything to those people, ffs. Despite how much of a land whale I am, I'm not one of those people and I work out nearly every day. BUT In the last two days, I've had TWO MEN COMMENT ON MY MERE PRESENCE. Yesterday a man had the audacity to try to tell me (lol seriously, me??) how the fucking elliptical works while I was on it???? Today, a man told me (later in the day) "good for you for getting into the gym." I know I'm fat and I'm trying asshole, I don't need your fucking approval or acknowledgement. Like, little do you know, I'm working out TWICE A DAY BC I HAVE A FUCKING EATING DISORDER. Not only that, I haven't fucking eaten anything since the first!! I've lost 20 pounds since November, but people clearly just see another desperate fat bitch wandering around not knowing how gyms work. How hard is it to let people live in fucking peace. Ok. Rant over. Fuck anyone who uses their mouth to vocally express anything at anyone in the gym unless they're literally about to die due their usage of the machine or weights.
[Discussion] Hit me with your favorite soups!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 3 11:04:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nwdtd/hit_me_with_your_favorite_soups/
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[deleted]
[Other] Life is going great 🙄
/u/Throwaway412160987
Created: Wed Jan 3 11:01:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nwd1c/life_is_going_great/
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https://i.redd.it/afb4z29n6w701.jpg
[Discussion] Throwing away food.
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 57.5 kg | -26 kg | 22F]
Created: Wed Jan 3 10:53:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nwb5d/throwing_away_food/
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I wonder if it's just me being irrationally angry or if there are others that feel the same.
I'm talking about throwing food away. I don't mean those that throw it away because they're scared of bingeing on it or those that throw it away to stop bingeing. No, I mean those that throw food away without thinking about it twice.
The reason I'm asking this is because I got a box of fortune cookies on NYE and was happy, I like them. They're packed individually, have only 30cals (compared to other cookies I have here that's really low), they have a decent size and the package is hard to open. Anyway, there are enough people who don't like to eat them but that doesn't keep them from opening one to get that little fortune slip and then they throw the cookie away. That makes me exceptionally mad because they were mine, I wanted to eat them. They are safe food for me.
But not only those cookies, it's the same with everything else! I always buy the smallest size I can get of the stuff that I need/want as to waste the least possible amount. Others? They buy the big packs and throw 2/3 of it away. And in the end they're also wasting money.
Am I overreacting? How about you? Anyone as bothered as I am?
[Other] Post binge-mas blues
/u/Anorexibulemanemia [Height 5'7"| CW: 124 lbs | GW 100 | 20M]
Created: Wed Jan 3 10:42:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nw8dy/post_bingemas_blues/
---
If any of you are weak willed like me, it's hard to feel inclined to work at losing weight after a particularly devastating binge. I definitely ate a year's worth of calories over Christmas and it sucks to lose progress like that. If any of you are feeling this way, just think about it like this: it's not about what you eat between December and January. It's about what you eat from January to December. When I'm stressed or depressed and binging, I have to snap myself out of it. I usually justify late night binges as "it's been a bad day, this will make it better". I have to remind myself of this: binging is a very short term solution that causes long term suffering, binging won't actually make my day better, and most importantly: some days are going to be bad, so just let them be bad. Some days are going to SUCK, but letting those days suck to the max (abstaining from comfort foods or other vices) and really absorbing the sadness and the pain is what makes them worth it. Next time you want to binge to feel better, just remember that it's good to have really bad days because it makes the good days that much better. As always, you are all wonderful and supportive, I just hope that my barely coherent ramblings can provide some insight or help. Stay warm and stay hydrated :)
[Help] Help, I can't stop thinking about food
/u/OhhMyGourd
Created: Wed Jan 3 10:10:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nw0bo/help_i_cant_stop_thinking_about_food/
---
Ever since I started lexapro I've been absolutely obsessed with food-- and it shows, so far I've gained 3 lbs. :( I'm vegan but I had a dream about eating shrimp. I keep fantasizing about Chipotle and their rice. I want a honeybun super bad.
I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like I'm slowly going mad. I want to restrict so badly because I'm bloated and feel sick from overeating, but at the same time I want to be comforted by savory foods and sweets. It's like a war inside my head!!
What do you lovely people do to distract you from food obsessing? I need tips!
[Help] Alcohol calories?
/u/BadTransfiguration
Created: Wed Jan 3 10:08:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nvzv1/alcohol_calories/
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Anyone else here have a ridiculously high tolerance? It's so hard to get plastered w/o worrying about the calories in whatever i'm drinking. Does anyone have any tips for low cal drinks w/ high alc volume?
It normally takes me 6-7 shots to start getting drunk. I used to be able to drink liquor straight, but for some reason it's been more difficult lately.
[Rant/Rave] I'm on a bad feelings bender
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 190 lb | GW: 120 lb | 22F]
Created: Wed Jan 3 09:57:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nvx0f/im_on_a_bad_feelings_bender/
---
Holy fuckin shit I hate my body so god damn much.
I gained 10 lb in 17 days. Is it possible? Is it just water weight? Fuck if I know, I pretty much just logged 3500/day over the holidays because I cant be fucked to log every single item that's gonna be way off anyway because I didn't cook it and weigh every ingredient.
My gut is extra squishy, hoping that it's water retained from salty, carby foods.
At least I think I trained myself to not use food as a coping mechanism? I haven't been reaching for the bottle either- No no, my drug of choice is now black tar, high octane self loathing.
I've been browsing r/bigboobproblems to feel shitty about my uneven, ugly tits that are way too small for my fatass body,
I've been tightening my belt to where it was last month to cut into my gross belly, and make a weird bulge under it,
I've been fantasizing about my boyfriend cheating on me to feel extra inadequate and unwomanly,
And I'm sorry to admit it, but I'm using you guys to feel like a fat jealous hog by comparison, because you're all so beautiful and slender, but so supportive and nice :(
But hey, at least all my friends are still on winter break, and I just flew back from seeing my boyfriend, so I get to be totally alone and no one has to see me /sbutalsonot
[Help] High protein with low carb and fat?
/u/uforgan
Created: Wed Jan 3 09:27:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nvpk2/high_protein_with_low_carb_and_fat/
---
Can anyone recommend any (vegan/veggie) foods that are high in protein without also having a ton or carbs and/or fats?
My current protein bars, and only safe food, are 10g protein with 9 g of fat and over 10 g of carbs .. not so safe anymore :/
Thanks for any responses
[Discussion] Has anyone found laxatives to not work until the 3rd/4th try?
/u/thhhhrowdissssout
Created: Wed Jan 3 09:26:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nvpdb/has_anyone_found_laxatives_to_not_work_until_the/
---
I've realised I've been super bloated recently even after taking a laxative every other night (Senecot Max) and that not much movement was happening.
That's until today! (Tmi warning) but I filled up the damn bowl. I don't know how the hell that all fit inside me but it must've been stuck there for a while. I know my tolerance never changes because I don't overdo it, so one is perfectly fine but occasionally my body acts as though I never even took it until days after.
This made me super sick last Christmas where I took one every day for a week, but no action was happening... until Christmas Eve I really thought I was gonna die. Does it get lost in there or something?
[Tip] Importance of before and after/ during pics
/u/KitteeChaos
Created: Wed Jan 3 09:24:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nvorq/importance_of_before_and_after_during_pics/
---
I'm sure a lot of you know pics are helpful in actually being able to see your progress. It happens so gradually that sometimes you don't see a change. That happened to me after losing over 35lbs this past 2 months, so I took a new picture yesterday and put it side by side with one from early November and wow, now I can see the difference. So yeah. Take pics. This is a before/ during pic. I'm less than halfway to my goal but it's so motivating to see progress. Pic on right is me at 190ish, prolly close to 200, pic on left is me yesterday at 164. Goal as of now is 105-110. I'm 5'4".
Edit: I was wrong, this is only 1 month progress..I weighed under 180 in the before pic, holy shit. I think I look way bigger than that but I checked my phone and that pic was taken December 5th. Sorry my original post was inaccurate, I should have made sure. I did start at almost 200 but apparently I had decided against taking any full body pics back then. Sorry again! But my point still stands, progress pics are very helpful!
https://imgur.com/NokKc4x
[Discussion] Does your SO know?
/u/filthypit [23F • 5’4” • 99lbs]
Created: Wed Jan 3 09:23:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nvoqw/does_your_so_know/
---
I recently read an old post by someone worried about “lying by omission” and honestly haven’t thought about it that way before. I always figured that it was all good as long as it didn’t come up in the first place. I have been dealing with this for nearly 10+ years and have never told anyone that is currently in my life. Any others that I have told are long gone, and I have never told a SO. Anyone care to talk about their experiences telling (or not telling) SOs?
[Help] Bulimia recovery bloat?
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Wed Jan 3 08:39:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nve8k/bulimia_recovery_bloat/
---
I last purged Saturday and last binged on Sunday and good lord am I bloated. I look literally six months pregnant and feel fat everywhere. My thighs and saddle bags are so fucking huge I want to cry. I def gained back all the weight I’ve lost in the last two years and it’s depressing.
But anyway, about the bloating, did anyone else who gave up purging experience this? After I eat my stomach gets so distended and I’m wondering if part of the fat feeling is bag water retention in my legs and hips?
[Rant/Rave] I think my scale is broken.
/u/IndigoSeasons [5'9" | CW 138 | CGW 118 | BMI 20 | Female]
Created: Wed Jan 3 08:32:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nvcrr/i_think_my_scale_is_broken/
---
So, i didn’t have my scale for about 2 weeks. Before my birthday and the holidays, i was 135...
i get my scale back last weekend, weigh myself and i’m 142 and freaking out.
i weigh myself today and i am 132.
Is the scale broken? i know it sounds so stupid, but my house is funky and kind of on a slant with the foundation... could that throw off the number?
[Help] Heartbreak leads to absolutely no appetite
/u/Renegade_always_was [5'6 | CW 140 | UGW 115 | 22.69 | -20lbs | 20/F]
Created: Wed Jan 3 08:25:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nvb08/heartbreak_leads_to_absolutely_no_appetite/
---
I was recently dumped by my long term girlfriend, out of the blue and for no reason. I have yet to get a real explanation. But with this came a drop off in my eating. I cant make myself eat, I can barely get out of bed. Usually I would be super excited to go a day without eating, but im going on like a week now and im starting to get scared. Im shaking all the time and im so dizzy that I don't want to go to work. Does anyone have any ideas of things I can eat/drink that would just help me at a base level, because even the thought of food makes me sick.
[Rant/Rave] I'M BACK TO MY PRE-CHRISTMAS WEIGHT!
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 136.6 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26F]
Created: Wed Jan 3 07:22:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nuxj3/im_back_to_my_prechristmas_weight/
---
And I ate like a totally normal person this weekend! I ate around 15-1700 calories on Saturday and Sunday and on Monday I eased myself back down to 1200 and now I'm back to 1000 with no hunger pains. I ate well yesterday and ended at 944 even with half a pint of Breyer's Delights. I feel so much better right now! If I can keep up with 1000 I should be consistently under 130 by mid February, and this is officially the lightest I've been in over 2 years! My size 4 pants fit comfortably and my 'comfy pants' are getting to be too big to wear in public. I'm stoked! Now I just need to get back to the gym.
Happy happy day!!!!!
[Rant/Rave] i put my whole family on a diet
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 3 07:12:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nuvio/i_put_my_whole_family_on_a_diet/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Fasting obsession?
/u/Johnjo01 [5'5" |CW 119 | BMI 19.5 |GW 105]
Created: Wed Jan 3 06:38:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nuols/fasting_obsession/
---
I've delt with AN/BN for 20 years (I'm 35). I was always able to stay sane because I knew in the back of my mind that Girl Cannot Survive on Water Alone. I had to eat a little, right? No matter how bad it got, how low my weight went, I always had that lifeline. But now all the pop culture about fasting has gotten me obsessed. You CAN live on water! It's scientifically proven that people can healthily subsist for days, weeks, even months with only water and electrolyte replacement! My mind is fucked. It's been three days of fasting, something I've never even wanted to do before, and every day is just getting easier. I am very, very scared. This is absolutely me at the edge of the rabbit hole, and I don't see how I can not fall in. Anyone else???
[Rant/Rave] DAE get super annoyed when people call you "naturally thin"?
/u/TipsySnailfish [5'10 | SW: 160 | CW: 143 | GW: 130 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 3 06:26:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7num8h/dae_get_super_annoyed_when_people_call_you/
---
I have 2 housemates that are in the normal-overweight BMI range and we were talking about waist sizes tonight and one made a comment about how I'm "just naturally thin".
Ok, no. I have been restricting to less than 1000cals / day for the last two months. I weigh myself multiple times a day, record every morsel in MFP, and go to bed hungry. I might not be at my goal weight yet but I have WORKED for this body and it's so frustrating that other people can't see that and just dismiss it as an accident or genetics.
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! January 03, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jan 3 05:12:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nu9fl/daily_food_diary_january_03_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 03, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday January 03, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jan 3 05:11:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nu96m/way_to_go_wednesday_january_03_2018/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for January 03, 2018.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Discussion] January 3rd, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 3 05:01:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nu7m9/january_3rd_2018_question_of_the_day/
---
What are you reading right now?
[Rant/Rave] My body is just falling apart
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 80 lbs | 15.3 | -27 lbs | f]
Created: Wed Jan 3 04:57:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nu71f/my_body_is_just_falling_apart/
---
I'm so desperately sick of being sick.
My joints are swollen and achy, my head is foggy, it hurts to pee, and no one loves me because my mental health makes me nothing but a liability.
I'm so cold it hurts and I can't even try to get warm because I hurt too bad to move.
I'm only seventeen and I feel like an old woman.
I just like to sleep and lie down and drink tea.
Normal people my age are recovering from partying on New Year's and I binged through the final moments of the year.
Every muscle in my body is begging me to stop but i cant.
My kidneys do weird shit.
My skin is flaky and itchy.
I'm retaining five extra pounds of water weight and my doctor (who i see every month to get my potassium prescriptions so my heart doesn't stop) still remarked how severely underweight i am.
My hair doesn't grow anymore, but my body fuzz is stronger than my will to live.
My chest aches and flutters at random. The edges of my vision fade if i stand up quickly.
I just want it to stop. I want to be okay but this has always been my life. For the last five years all i've done is be hungry and angry and tired.
My eating disorder stole my youth.
[Tip] PSA: EC Stacking can lead to dry mouth which can increase your risk of cavities.
/u/LetzBeAn [5'5.5" | CW: 114 | GW: 90 | 25NB]
Created: Wed Jan 3 04:41:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nu4hl/psa_ec_stacking_can_lead_to_dry_mouth_which_can/
---
Here's how it can happen:
* Caffeine + Ephedrine can lead to dry mouth as it will likely reduce the production of saliva in your mouth
* Saliva helps to prevent tooth decay by washing away the plague from your teeth and by countering the acid produced by bacteria in the plague.
* If the flow of saliva is significantly decreased, your mouth will become dry and acidic and plague may begin to build up on your teeth, all of which will make your teeth more prone to cavities
[Help] Appetite suppressors?
/u/Hunttery
Created: Wed Jan 3 02:08:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ntisr/appetite_suppressors/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I really love this community
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Wed Jan 3 02:03:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nti4m/i_really_love_this_community/
---
It doesn't matter if you're restricting, fasting, purging, binging or even trying to recover the support in this group is absolutely amazing.
I've literally never seen anything like it and I wish it existed in more subs and IRL.
I wish I could tell someone my dream is to be so small that I struggle to find clothes that fit and they respond in anything other than sheer horror.
❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️love you all❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️
[Discussion] Fast vs Exercise
/u/risska [H: 169cm | CW: 57kg | GW: ??? ]
Created: Wed Jan 3 01:49:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ntg5c/fast_vs_exercise/
---
[removed]
Ways to curb appetite?
/u/clausluv
Created: Wed Jan 3 01:37:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ntejr/ways_to_curb_appetite/
---
[removed]
[Help] Anybody know how to make your tummy stop growling?
/u/MauriceWhiteIsGod
Created: Wed Jan 3 00:55:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nt8ei/anybody_know_how_to_make_your_tummy_stop_growling/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] My boyfriend said I looked thin
/u/pickles023
Created: Wed Jan 3 00:54:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nt86b/my_boyfriend_said_i_looked_thin/
---
Hi guys, I've been lurking for a bit, but I just feel like I have to share this with you guys.
I was fixing my hair this morning with the bathroom door open. My boyfriend came into the hall and told me I looked thin. I haven't lost much(15lbs), but apparently he can see it. Which is weird, because I can't even tell. It's weird, but now I can't stop thinking about it.
[Tip] tips to stop hunger/hunger pains?
/u/kaitlynethomas8
Created: Wed Jan 3 00:43:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nt6ot/tips_to_stop_hungerhunger_pains/
---
[removed]
[Intro] I'm baccccckkkkkkkkk❤️❤️❤️
/u/yssjfs [SW:160|LW:112|CW:126.4|GW:☠]
Created: Wed Jan 3 00:10:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nt1np/im_baccccckkkkkkkkk/
---
Had a weird couple of months... My eating disorder didn't go away, just got really passive for a bit? I guess not passive... I went from low-key neurotic with intense anxiety and constantly planning out meals and work-outs to.... nothing? Like instead of all that I would come home from work and go right to bed, get up and go right to work ect. If I didn't go to work then I would stay in bed. Hardly ever felt well enough to eat.
I'm trying not to own a scale for the time being. Not because I'm trying to recover, but because I know I lose more when I'm not weighing myself each day. Idk....
Anyway, I just felt the need to say a little something while I was reactivating this old account. Hope youve all been welll ❤️❤️❤️
[Help] Fml
/u/PainlessMe
Created: Tue Jan 2 23:55:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nsz85/fml/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] holy shit fuck i think my dad knows
/u/grape_fruits [5'3.5" | CW 102ish lbs | 19F]
Created: Tue Jan 2 23:25:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nsueu/holy_shit_fuck_i_think_my_dad_knows/
---
so I'm a college student home for the holidays and I've always had pretty bad period cramps. today I got my period and decided to stay in bed, my mom was just like "so you're not going to eat dinner?" and left it at that but I keep going back to the kitchen to refill my water cup and am trying not to eat anything because of that one post saying that eating late at night results in higher weight (from water) the next day and i really really wanna get to a new low weight. and then my dad asks for the second time if I'm sure I don't want to eat anything, and I'm like no, so he suggests that I should eat SOMETHING like bread so I'm just like oh fuck and he asks how much I weigh and I say I don't have a scale at school anymore and he's like but you weigh yourself here, right? how much do you weigh? and here I am stupid and say 103 which is the higher end of my current range but really I should've said like 105 or 107 and he starts talking about how he's glad I lost the weight I gained last year but "it's not good to go too much either way" and that he doesn't want to be pushy with food but ultimately I will suffer the consequences of "imbalance of food" and that I don't get enough nutrients from being vegetarian and the whole time I feel so caught and now I'm sitting in my room with a bowl of cheerios, a tangerine, and a bowl of pistachios, none of which I intend to eat tonight. anyway idk if this should be tagged rant or help but I guess I'll be maintaining for the rest of break and ordering my own scale when I get back :)))))))) happy fucking holidays, sorry for the wall of text
[Thinspo] There’s a person irl who’s my thinspo
/u/ABlueSongbird
Created: Tue Jan 2 22:48:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nsnux/theres_a_person_irl_whos_my_thinspo/
---
There’s this girl in my school. I don’t know who she is, I don’t know her name, I don’t even know what her face looks like. I just admire her body (and doesn’t that sound creepy as fuck). She is how I wish to be with a thigh gap and non fat jiggly thighs. An amazing fashion sense always wears pretty clothing showing off her small waist. As well as long straight dark brown hair. When I happen to be behind her while she’s walking i can’t help but stare jealously at how she walks. She’s beautiful and everything I aspire to be.
Is there anyone in real life for you guys that is your thinspo? Cause if there isn’t then I’m a borderline creep.
[Discussion] In need of thinspos??
/u/Brizyse [5'5"|CW:Too Many|UGW:115|17F]
Created: Tue Jan 2 22:06:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nsfyg/in_need_of_thinspos/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Fuck r/thinspo
/u/davincisunflower
Created: Tue Jan 2 21:22:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ns79c/fuck_rthinspo/
---
[removed]
[Help] Spotty vision?
/u/SinfulCinnamon
Created: Tue Jan 2 21:19:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ns6l8/spotty_vision/
---
Does anyone know what causes spotty vision besides the obvious? Like what specific vitamin I might be needing? I don't have a headache/dizziness but my eyes have randomly stopped working and it's hard to make out letters on the screen of my phone with more blurriness in my peripherals. Normally my vision is 20/20 so I'm confused why this is happening. I've experienced it before, although not often, and it eventually goes away.
[Discussion] Is there any way to tell when your body is burning fat?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jan 2 20:38:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nryd1/is_there_any_way_to_tell_when_your_body_is/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nryd1/is_there_any_way_to_tell_when_your_body_is/
[Discussion] DAE hate eating noises?
/u/snaafuuu [5'3| 189 | 34.41 | -15.7 | 22F]
Created: Tue Jan 2 20:21:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nrusp/dae_hate_eating_noises/
---
I never want to be so negative towards people about eating, especially since very little food thing triggers me, but I was sat next to a woman eating with her mouth open and I was so disgusted I put my salad away.
She was wheezing while she was eating too, like she didn’t take a breath between stuffing popcorn in her mouth. It was so so gross, like nails on a chalkboard.Totally not what I needed tonight, and I really wanted my salad, but I’m so grossed out I don’t think I can stomach it.
Anyone else have this trouble?
[Discussion] DAE take an appetite suppressant right before a meal?
/u/oneblueboot [5' 7.5" | CW 122 lbs | GW 112 | 18.8 | 26 F]
Created: Tue Jan 2 19:52:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nroo9/dae_take_an_appetite_suppressant_right_before_a/
---
I normally mix about 1/2 tablespoon of whole psyllium husk (about 9 cal) into a big glass of water and drink that down before I eat dinner. Tonight I decided to add a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar to the mix and the appetite suppression has increased threefold. I feel so full (and a teeny bit nauseous, but it’s starting to get better).
Dinner is typically my biggest meal of the day and it’s where I try to eat the foods that I actually enjoy instead of just getting myself through the day. Somehow making myself less hungry right before I eat makes everything taste better, like I know that I’ll be able to savor it and draw out the process of eating without going crazy or binging.
Anyone else do something similar?
[Discussion] DAE sometimes get tempted to be 100% honest with people, regardless of how uncomfortable it would be for everyone involved?
/u/BrandNewJayRab [5'7.5| CW: Too high | GW: 130 | Older Female]
Created: Tue Jan 2 19:39:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nrlz6/dae_sometimes_get_tempted_to_be_100_honest_with/
---
I'm 33 and I am exhausted.
The other day my co-worker made one of those "*I don't see how you can eat so much and not put on weight LOL*" comments.
I REALLY felt like just saying "*Oh, that's because whenever I eat like this I just throw up right after LOL!*"
I know people are oblivious to what doesn't affect them directly, and since I am not underweight no one thinks I can have an eating disorder. But I am just so sick of acting like I’m normal. I don’t care anymore. I’m over it.
Back when I was very, very thin and had recently dropped 25 lbs over a couple months, everyone praised me and asked how I did it. I gave the typical "eat less move more!" response but what I wanted to says was "*I just fluctuated between not eating for days and good old fashioned, unbridled purging! Aside from the life-consuming obsession over food and weight that comes with it, it's quite effective!"*. **Just to see the look on their faces**.
I don't even know what I would get out of it. Spreading awareness, one cocktail mixer at a time? As if suddenly all of the other sufferers out there will no longer feel shame for their illness? I know it doesn’t work like that. But I’m just…over it.
Even when someone is very underweight, most people don't think they have anything wrong with them unless they become hospitalized. And then it's like "Oh, but you are fine *now* right?" Because mentally stable people don't want to believe that their friends and family members are not okay. I want to just scream from the rooftop “I AM NOT OKAY! STOP TELLING ME I LOOK GOOD. I AM SLOWLY KILLING MYSELF.
I know most of you are still very young and in a different place in your ED than I am, so you might not relate to this yet. But I just had to get that off of my chest.
[Help] how long does magnesium citrate lax work for?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jan 2 19:33:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nrkmh/how_long_does_magnesium_citrate_lax_work_for/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nrkmh/how_long_does_magnesium_citrate_lax_work_for/
[Discussion] So many vitamins. How do y'all vitamin?
/u/PossiblyReallyMe
Created: Tue Jan 2 18:32:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nr73v/so_many_vitamins_how_do_yall_vitamin/
---
I take D3-5000, Potassium Gluconate 550, E-180, Magnesium 250, calcium 650, DHEA, a Multivitamin that has Iron, Iodine, Folate and misc other stuff, Ltheanine, Ashwaganda. And Biotin gummies.
In the morning I take Liquid Chlorophyll and Brainstorm 2. To try to wake me up. I'm 90% supplements and fat.
[Other] Something that really made me think and made me realize that I'll never be content or satisfied with my body...
/u/smileyslimey [5'5 | 98 | 16.3 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 2 18:18:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nr3yr/something_that_really_made_me_think_and_made_me/
---
Somewhere I recently read a discussion that was about moving away from the scale and how to stop focusing on numbers and start focusing on strength and positive body image instead.
Someone said "If someone showed you your ideal body and told you that person weighed 150 lbs instead of your GW of 110 lbs, would you really mind?"
And the thing is - I totally would. I'd rather look not so good in my own perception but be at a lower weight. Because I can trust numbers but not myself. The number on the scale doesn't tell the worth of a person - but it is still somehow tied to *my* worth and it's *objective*. If I lose weight I'm happy, if I gain weight I'm unhappy. I don't even really look at my body anymore because I cannot trust my own judgement.
With my ED I have always had this conviction that one day, at that one *final* GW I'll be fine with my body. 110 lbs will be thin enough, I couldn't possibly still be too heavy at that weight. Or wait, I still am. Make that 105. No, 100 sounds better. But double digits are nice. And so on...
[Help] EC stacking, Vyvanse, etc?
/u/overweightandstress [5'8 | CW: 144 lb | BMI: 21.4 | GW: 127 lb| F]
Created: Tue Jan 2 18:03:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nr0ik/ec_stacking_vyvanse_etc/
---
[removed]
[Tip] Tips on how to stop b/p?
/u/dont_trust_cats [179cm | 61kg]
Created: Tue Jan 2 17:48:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nqx2i/tips_on_how_to_stop_bp/
---
Hi all you wonderful people...
I know recovery isn't the most popular topic here, but I've been dealing with bulimia/ednos for over a year now yaaaay and I really want to change. It's making me gain a fuck ton of weight cause it's just gotten way out of hand. It's actually making me miss depression, anorexia and suicidal thoughts for real, cause of all the stress and anxiety I have now.
Eating makes me anxious. Doesn't matter if it's a green bean or a carrot, cause I've apparently made sure that all foods except for one or two things trigger my overeating. Basically all I can eat now, are green apples without stuffing myself until I'm in literal pain, and I'm out of fucking apples.
So please, if anyone out there are experts of distracting yourself when hungry/about to self harm/binge/purge, please let me know cause I'd actually rather die before seeking professional help and I'm getting pretty sick of my life.
[Rant/Rave] Weighing in at the Doctor
/u/PineapplePrincezz [Height: 5'2.5" | CW 104 and fat AF| BMI: 18.54 |LW: 81.5| F]
Created: Tue Jan 2 17:42:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nqvoa/weighing_in_at_the_doctor/
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[Discussion] Eating low quantity but high calorie foods in order to train my body to eat more proportionately?
/u/glossboy
Created: Tue Jan 2 16:17:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nqbh9/eating_low_quantity_but_high_calorie_foods_in/
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My biggest issue with food was that I'd eat more than my body needed. It's been a few months but I've been trying to heavily train my body to stop wanting more food/getting that feeling of faux hunger. My weekly meal plan is to eat a little on monday and increase it throughout the week and restart it again on monday again with the same low amount of calories. But as the days go by I'm afraid of the high calorie day making me want to eat a lot more food than usual so I decided to eat the same quantity of food every day just raise the calorie amount. Does anyone else do this?
[Rant/Rave] I think my stepmom is passive aggressively trying to make my ED worse
/u/booger-burger69 [5'3 | CW: 117lbs | UGW 100lbs | -18lbs | 21F]
Created: Tue Jan 2 15:40:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nq292/i_think_my_stepmom_is_passive_aggressively_trying/
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I kinda posted about this on r/relationships but it didn’t get much attention and I know y’all will understand this situation a lot better anyways
So my stepmom is a weirdo. She has always been jealous of my relationship with my dad, I’m his only daughter. She used to not let my dad and I have one-on-one time together, she’d always tag along or sit in on every conversation. My dad only texts my brother and me with my stepmom included so she can “keep up” with everything.
Since I moved back home due to financial reasons, things have been getting really tense between my stepmom and me. I’ve been struggling really hard emotionally, which I guess is taking up too much of my dad’s attention for her liking.
For the past few months she’s been sneaking into my room while I’m at work to “get dishes” that I bring upstairs, but I only noticed just recently. I had tons of chew-and-spit cups sitting around my room (I use my work’s cups, which are clear). I know she had to have seen them, but didn’t say anything to anyone. After realizing that she was snooping around my room I installed a lock on my door.
I lost enough weight for my dad to start noticing, so we had a talk (without my stepmom there, but he tells her everything anyways).
Lately my stepmom has been making my dinner plate for me, and she gives me much smaller portions than everyone else and then tells my dad in front of me “Oh I’m not eating tonight”. I may be overanalyzing this part, but I feel like she’s trying to make me feel bad for eating? Or by giving me smaller portions, she’s trying to get me to feel like I should eat less? Idk...
For christmas she bought me all large sized clothing, when I fit an extra-small/small and she has never bought me large sized stuff before. She wears a large, and she’s overweight.
Last night I made a funny comment to my dad about my college’s band *specifically*, and she gave me a super dirty look from the kitchen as she was cooking dinner and scoffed at me. I explained that my comment wasn’t directed at all bands (she was in band and her son is in band), but my college’s band *specifically* but she continued to huff and puff and give me a mean look, so I just went upstairs.
She then started a huge fight with my dad about how he didn’t defend her against me, and then threw away my dinner so I couldn’t eat.
Lately she’s been making all sorts of comments to my dad, in front of me, like “I’m too fat to eat anyways” or “I need to lose so much weight, I’m so fat”.
I think she’s jealous of the attention my dad has been putting on me since I told him about my eating disorder, so she’s lashing out at me super passive aggressively. In a sick way it makes me want to give in to my ED even more, it’s stressing me out so much.
[Discussion] Triggering resolutions?
/u/BadTransfiguration
Created: Tue Jan 2 14:37:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7npmb6/triggering_resolutions/
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Am I the only one that gets super triggered by everyone's "new year, new me" resolution about a more ~healthy lifestyle~ and weight loss? It makes me feel even worse for any binge I end up having & makes me feel shitty if I'm not restricting the most. I just end up getting competitive with others? I don't even know, man.
[Goal] MIL bought me a S/M cardigan for Christmas
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Tue Jan 2 14:03:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7npds1/mil_bought_me_a_sm_cardigan_for_christmas/
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My MIL didn't have any boys so she showers me with clothes. She used to work retail so she guessed my AU size 14 ass instantly...except for this Christmas. She got me a size S/M. I was so embarrassed because I knew she would want me to try it on and I would look like a too tight sausage. I've never been a S/M in my life.
Y'ALL IT FIT. IT FIT PERFECTLY. I'M SMOL(to medium).
MIL then told me not to lose more weight and I was like hah...yes of course.
SHE NOTICED MY WEIGHTLOSS 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
Guys it was the best Christmas ever 😉
[Thinspo] Thinspo I originally posted to tumblr
/u/Canadascutestginger
Created: Tue Jan 2 13:43:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7np8h8/thinspo_i_originally_posted_to_tumblr/
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[Help] My scale is giving me completely random numbers.. help?
/u/nordic_alien [167cm | 130lbs | 22 | 20lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jan 2 13:40:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7np7qh/my_scale_is_giving_me_completely_random_numbers/
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I moved, and the scale for sure did NOT get banged up while moving. Now, when I weigh myself, every single time it is giving me a different number, usually 5 lb differences (i.e. 130, 135, 130, 140). It's electronic. Does that mean its hit its end and I must buy a new one now? :( It's more or less brand new, about a month old.
I'm stressed out because I have no idea what my weight is now.
[Goal] my thighs are the size i want my waist to be
/u/commtra [5'7 | BMI: 20 | GW:100 | -44 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 2 13:38:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7np755/my_thighs_are_the_size_i_want_my_waist_to_be/
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22 inches at the widest part. just one of those little self comparisons i hate to make.
happy new year though❤️
[Help] Does anyone get way hungrier AFTER eating?
/u/swaegge [5'5.5" | 108 | 17.7]
Created: Tue Jan 2 13:29:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7np4sj/does_anyone_get_way_hungrier_after_eating/
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I've been restricting a lot on winter break and I've been noticing that if I have a little snack to keep my energy up, I'll eat til I'm satiated (small bowl of pasta or something), feel better, but then like ~20 minutes later I'll feel even more hungry/dizzy/awful than before. Is this normal? Some kind of blood sugar thing or something? Omg it's so awful I don't even know what to do.
[Discussion] Threw up unprompted for the first time in years yesterday
/u/sad-boy-98
Created: Tue Jan 2 13:24:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7np3nd/threw_up_unprompted_for_the_first_time_in_years/
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It was so weird and a sensation I'm not used to feeling lmao. Fuck hangovers and the calories that come with alcohol!!!
[Help] Can you restrict too much to the point where your body will have a hard time losing weight?
/u/hollowedheart_
Created: Tue Jan 2 12:54:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7novv6/can_you_restrict_too_much_to_the_point_where_your/
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My TDEE is 1,619 ( subtracted version to lose weight) and I've been restricting to around 500-900 calories a day. I feel like I haven't been losing much in the time span that I've been doing this. So is it possible/ ever happened to you that you are actually restricting too much?
Thank you :)
[Help] Oatmeal
/u/reviic [♂| 5´1.5 | 114lb | BMI21 | HW: 130lb | Trans boy19]
Created: Tue Jan 2 12:53:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7novkb/oatmeal/
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How much water can I add to oats? I see people say 1/2 oats to 1 cup water when its soft-boiled oats?¿? Can I add more? To make it bigger in volume?
[Rant/Rave] Why does it feel so different this time
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: prob 137, afraid of scale | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26F]
Created: Tue Jan 2 12:31:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nopny/why_does_it_feel_so_different_this_time/
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Under 140 is my pre-horribledepressionbingephase weight. In 2016 I went from 135 to 170 in a horrible depression and kept it on for over a year. I have worked so hard to get those 30 pounds off and I felt okay about myself the last time I was in the 130s, I ate normally like nothing was wrong, I wasn't skinny but I didn't care because I still wasn't fat. Why do I feel like such a hog this time? I don't feel better at all. I still feel like I look the same as I did 30 pounds ago. Now nothing over 120 feels acceptable to me and with my height and metabolism it's going so slowly. I can't drop below what I'm eating now because if I try to restrict too low I will binge but it's just so frustrating to still feel fat even though this is what I weighed before and I felt fine. Why. Why.
[Other] The Science of Gaining Weight/Recovery from AN
/u/antelsa [5'11" | F]
Created: Tue Jan 2 12:27:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7noojt/the_science_of_gaining_weightrecovery_from_an/
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Hi girls and boys! I thought I’d make a post about some misconceptions regarding weight gain. I know it’s a scary topic to a lot of people, myself included, so thought I’d share some facts.
The information below is taken from a couple of Pubmed meta analyses (to which I’ve provided the links below). I encourage you to check them out yourself, since they have more information than I can provide in a single post.
Q1: “I upped my intake. I should still be eating way under my TDEE, so why have I gained weight?”
There are a couple of reasons for this. First of all, it’s likely that the weight on the scale is just the physical weight of the food that hasn’t been absorbed yet.
"...*in AN patients, there is a delayed gastric emptying of solid but not of liquid meals [96,97], therefore liquid supplementations can be a well-tolerated intervention mostly at the beginning of refeeding treatment*."
People who have been restricting food for a long time have a slowed digestive system. (If the frequency of you going #2 has slowed down, this probably applies to you at least a little.) So, this means that the waste takes longer to get flushed out, and the weight of the partly digested food may be mistaken for fat. This is especially true for bulky, carb-y, and fiber heavy foods (which are the type of foods typically eaten by people with restrictive eating disorders). Consider: if I ate a pound of carrots, my weight would go up a pound, even though I only ate 186 calories’ worth of food. And that’s gonna take a long time to pass through my digestive system. Does this mean I gained fat? No, it just means that I’m holding onto a lot of carrot waste. So, if you suddenly up your intake (even if you’re still below maintenance) you may gain weight that isn’t fat, just partly digested food.But, if you consistently eat more, you will be able to “go” more frequently and this will become less of an issue.
Another common question: How much do I have to eat to gain at this rate?
*There is considerable data indicating that AN patients need somewhere between 5,000 and 10,000 excess calories to gain a kg of weight (Table 5). The reason why this range is so wide remains unclear. Nevertheless, several factors have been called into question to try to explain this variability: physical activity, individual variations in energy efficiency, thermoregulatory response, composition of synthetized tissue, fluid shifts, age, and phase of treatment*.
So, no one really knows. Generally, models that predict how many calories anorexic patients need to gain weight overpredict the amount of calories necessary in the earlier stages of recovery and underpredict in the middle/later stages.
Some factors that may affect your rate of weight gain include:
-Whether you exercised a lot while restricting. If you exercised a lot, you may need more calories compared to someone who didn’t exercise.
-Whether you have been obese. Generally, previously obese patients have to eat a smaller surplus to gain, compared to those who have never been obese.
*Immediately after getting back to a healthy body weight, both R-AN and BP-AN are still highly energy inefficient and require increased caloric intake to maintain the restored weight*.
Metabolism tends to normalize over a 1-year period, after which your energy requirements will most likely align with those of someone of your body composition/activity level/age/gender who does not have a history of an eating disorder.
So, TL;DR: If you’re underweight and gaining, it’s very difficult to predict how many calories you need to gain weight. TDEE calculators are probably inadequate: they will likely over-predict the amount you need to gain a pound in the early stages of recovery, and grossly under-predict the amount of calories you need to gain in the later stages. This is because your metabolism is likely depressed from chronic calorie restriction, and the only way to get it back to normal is to consistently eat more.
Some signs you may have a depressed metabolism from restriction include:
*falling out hair
*low energy
*infrequent passing of stool
*no menstruation
*poor immune system/often sick
So, when you do gain, weight, where does it go?
Compared to healthy controls, eating disordered patients tended to gain more fat in the trunk (belly/back) area. However: this appears to be temporary! After a year of weight maintenance, AN-restored patients’ fat distribution is the same as that of the healthy controls.
*Partial weight restoration leads to greater fat mass deposition in the trunk region than other body regions in adolescent females....after short-term weight restoration, whether partial or complete, adults show a central adiposity phenotype with respect to healthy age-matched controls....The abnormal central fat distribution seems to normalize after long-term maintenance of complete weight restoration, indicating that preferential central distribution of body fat is a transitory phenomenon.*
I hope this gives you all some peace of mind, or helps those who are trying to recover on their own or scared to start recovering! <3
(I’m not a medical professional btw, just someone who has read some meta-analyses. I’m fairly certain all of the information in here is correct, but let me know if there’s a mistake.)
Paging /u/dumplingmeister because I think you asked about this stuff earlier :P
Sources:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4179194/#B34-nutrients-06-03895
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3829207/
[Discussion] DAE gain weight so they can lose it again?
/u/avaflies [5'4" | GW bone]
Created: Tue Jan 2 12:04:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7noinu/dae_gain_weight_so_they_can_lose_it_again/
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I haven't seen anyone else talk about this. I live for rebounding 10 or 15 pounds and dropping it all over again in a few weeks. Probably gonna kill me faster than straight up starvation but whatever lol. It's just so addicting to see the scale drop, it's more fulfilling than the physical effects which I can barely even notice. Usually it's a nightmare for people but I soak it up. Is it just me? Am I extra weird?
[Intro] Literally lurked for 1.5 years, so, officially, hi!
/u/blair_k [5'6| CW:135| GW:115| 23F]
Created: Tue Jan 2 11:59:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7noh80/literally_lurked_for_15_years_so_officially_hi/
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After basically reading every post here for over a year it feels like the beginning of 2018 is as good a time as any to start posting. Even without posting, this community has somehow given me so much support, motivation, and reassurance.
A brief history:
**2012:** gained the freshman 25,(in 4 months, yes, lovely) had really never thought about my weight until I got home for Christmas break and went to the doctor and was suddenly 157lbs....
**2013:** downloaded MFP and restricted to below 1200 for 4 months. Got down to beginning of college weight (135). Then went on a lovely binge restrict cycle for about 3 years.
**2016:** Went vegan, graduated, probably the healthiest I've been in the past 5 years. (being vegan quickly turned v disordered again)
**2017:** Started prozac for OCD, Major ED restricting again, got down to 118. Then somehow back up to 135ish.
**2018:** Thats where I am now, restricting, trying to make 2018 a perfect year (ha)
Obviously a brief and edited summary without all of the details of the miserableness of an ED. But I think that sums it up for the most part. So anyway, Hi, and thank you all for being so welcoming literally before I have even posted. <3
[Help] Bullying on imgur, help
/u/KitteeChaos
Created: Tue Jan 2 11:46:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nody8/bullying_on_imgur_help/
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I'm about to sound really whiney, but I seriously got roasted on imgur and it kind of crushed me even though I know the people are trolls. I posted pics there just so I could share them here, and had people commenting I look like a guy (I don't think I look like a guy for the record but idk) My pics got downvoted to hell. Also got lots of messages from pervs. Now I'm not only self conscious about my weight, but wondering if my face is ugly too when I was ok-ish with it before. I want to share some progress pics here but don't dare post on imgur again. Is there anyway I can post on there without other imgur users being able to see? I guess this is a rant but also a help post. I want to share pics with you guys, not the hateful dickholes and pervs on imgur.
[Rant/Rave] Disappointed
/u/kdawg210
Created: Tue Jan 2 11:39:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nocd2/disappointed/
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[Discussion] Has anyone had experience with reaching underweight goals with ketosis/keto diet? (also some self-love/positivity <3)
/u/claireballoon [5'8" | CW: 134 lbs | 23F | GW: 115 lbs]
Created: Tue Jan 2 11:14:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7no60m/has_anyone_had_experience_with_reaching/
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I see weight (fat!) fall off of people who do keto diets and keep their bodies in ketosis, but they are losing fat mass. I never see anyone underweight personally. Keto is often a successful diet because it's so much easier to count macros than calories if you plan properly and especially if you're losing a lot of weight (like those who are obese) you barely have to think about calories at all.
I find the calorie-counting mindset to be a prison that sucks out all the joy in the world. I have a tendency to restrict myself ridiculously into 20-30 lbs underweight, and celebrate by spending a few months eating whatever the crap I want. I really want to break this cycle and stay skinny, but I'm actually finally getting to a place mentally where I care about my emotional wellbeing more than I care about my weight. I'm at a weird push-pull but I just don't find joy and satisfaction from restricting anymore and I discovered I *love* most food now. But I miss my flat belly and I want to hurt myself every time I see the stupid little mound forming. I wanted to find some sort of balance. I went to a nutrition/weight loss clinic for some advice (obviously they're not going to help me become underweight again) and their scale measured what percent of my body is fat %, water %, muscle %, etc. It's becoming really clear that, while skinny, most of the weight I have is fat and I need to bite the bullet and start working out. Even though my "weight" is really healthy (134 lbs, 5'8"), I am 3 lbs overfat and something like 15 lbs undermuscle. If you can afford to talk to someone, I highly encourage you to stop by a clinic like this if you can because it's very very helpful for having a healthy relationship with food.
I really want to find a way to "pace" myself where I can plan my meals (for the record eatthismuch is an amazing tool), eat them, and not worry about every tiny calorie every day.
Lastly, on the subject of loving to learn yourself and developing a healthier relationship with food... I wore a crop top to new years anyway, despite my recent weight gain!! (I was 113 lbs in September going through a breakup, 134 lbs now as a happy girl) [You can even see my little belly mound that is growing but I don't care :)](https://i.imgur.com/xyVh0Ar.jpg) It was 10 degrees!!! That's some dedication. I'm very happy about my resolutions to make changes and achieve the same goals but being happier while doing so.
Thank you for any tips you have on keto and counting macros/micros instead of calories :) I'm expecting to just hear that at the end of the day you can only get underweight from calorie counting but we shall see. You are all such wonderful people and I hope you're making good resolutions this year, too.
[Help] I'm trying to stop weighing myself every day, 5x a day. How do you stop from hopping on the scale?
/u/chicklet2011 [5'6" | 181# | ??% | GW 120# | F]
Created: Tue Jan 2 10:41:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nnxt1/im_trying_to_stop_weighing_myself_every_day_5x_a/
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I'm trying hard this year to stop myself from getting on the scale after each "meal" and each trip to the bathroom. My goal is to only weigh myself once every two weeks, which seems like a much healthier behavioral approach to keeping myself in check.
Have any of you tried this approach? Did it help you not fixate on the numbers? Did you hide your scale from yourself?
[Rant/Rave] Dad saw my thinspo
/u/Polarplaid
Created: Tue Jan 2 10:10:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nnqcw/dad_saw_my_thinspo/
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[Discussion] New year resolutions
/u/uforgan
Created: Tue Jan 2 09:36:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nnhxn/new_year_resolutions/
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[I'm sorry if this has already been done, I don't see many/any posts from here in my feed]
What is everyone's new years resolutions? Have you kept to them so far? What are your goals for this year?
[Discussion] Anyone else having trouble with binging now that NYE is over?
/u/SvelteDreams [5'5" | CW 121.4lbs | GW 103lbs | 21F]
Created: Tue Jan 2 08:48:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nn6un/anyone_else_having_trouble_with_binging_now_that/
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The weeks before NYE I was restricting heavily cause I wanted to look good for the many, many events during the holiday season. I restricted through Christmas even, only slipping up once. But now that NYE is over, I don't have any immediate need to look good for anything and while I still want to lose weight, given the prior restriction and over-exercise I'm suddenly having trouble not binging. I don't have binge food in the house (thank god) but I went to the store yesterday to get cookies AND I ordered a pizza. Between last night and this morning, I've finished them... probably at least 2000 unnecessary calories. Ugh. Almost a whole pound. And that's not even thinking about the alcohol calories from NYE!!!
I know most people now are all, "New year, new me" trying to eat healthily but I'm finding myself with the opposite issue and just don't know how to return. Is anyone else having troubles with binging now that the holiday season is over?
[Discussion] Managing an ED at college? (my apologies for the detailed questions)
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 198lbs | M]
Created: Tue Jan 2 07:47:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nmtli/managing_an_ed_at_college_my_apologies_for_the/
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1) I want to stop spending money so recklessly (rip Soylent and Quest bars); how do I eat at the dining halls when they post inaccurate calorie info at best?
2) Exercising in front of people mortifies me, and that sluggish 16hr fast style of running / elliptical just makes it worse. The gyms are open 5:30am - 11pm; when and how do I go?
3) Being in my dorm makes me want to hit my head against the wall, and eating is a way to distract myself. How do I find solutions? (I live in the midwest so walking is out for the coming months)
Alcohol brings out the worst in me
/u/coffeepaysthebills
Created: Tue Jan 2 07:38:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nmrv4/alcohol_brings_out_the_worst_in_me/
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[Other] New plan.
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 57.5 kg | -26 kg | 22F]
Created: Tue Jan 2 07:28:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nmprt/new_plan/
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I always feel like shit after eating and the fact I haven't dropped a pound since christmas is frustrating. Yeah I know I should be glad I didn't really gain anything besides that 1kg water that's already off but you know how it is.
Anyway! I fasted the whole day yesterday and I plan on keeping it up. On friday I get a new haircut (much needed, didn't get one for 7 months now) and I decided that if I manage to keep fasting til friday I would go get myself a nice none fat caramel latte from starbucks. It's no good to treat myself with food? Fuck that! Sweet coffee is the only joy that I have which doesn't make me feel like crap after drinking it.
I usually give up by day 2 because someone is always interferring but not this time!
[Rant/Rave] Guilty and lonely
/u/coffeexsmokes [5'2" | 100 | -50 | 21F]
Created: Tue Jan 2 07:13:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nmmu4/guilty_and_lonely/
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Used to be part of a mental health support group, but I left because I felt that I didn't belong there anymore. It seemed like everypne else was tryong harder than me and I felt guilty for being there.
Aside from my bf, that group was my only means of socializing. So now I feel isolated and unable to vent about frustrations that my bf just doesn't have much a chance of understanding.
I tried to find a therapist to help not feel completely alone in my disorders, but every single one I have contacted has either said they can't help EDs or they aren't accepting new patients. I just don't know what to do.
Just wanted this off my chest, cause I feel like I don't have many people I can bring this up with.
[Rant/Rave] MIL's present is messing me up
/u/SilentlyLuna [183cm | CW: monstrous | GW:Unattainable | -8kg | F]
Created: Tue Jan 2 07:08:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nmlwh/mils_present_is_messing_me_up/
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So my MIL (mother-in-law) sent us a memory stick of pictures of my SO's entire life as a Christmas present. Super sweet, right?
Nope.
She had mentioned to my SO that she'd put pictures of his exes in a separate folder, and because of my insecurity issues my SO asked me to not look at them as they'd only upset me. Ugh, but fair enough, I know it would just make me feel horrible. I was staying away from that folder, but saw another titled "[SO's name] docs", and looked. In there were dozens of old love poems from his ex-fiancee, as well as some pictures of her that had been titled "the most beautiful girl in the world", "the person I'll love forever and always, no matter what" etc.
Obviously, not the loveliest stuff to read. I don't understand why MIL would send that to both of us as a present... Did she want me to see that? We've never really had any issues, but I've only met her a few times because she lives really far away and she has a really messy relationship with my SO, so I guess she might just not have voiced her disapproval.
Either way, even if it wasn't on purpose and she doesn't want the ex to be with my SO and isn't trying to mess with me, that *reallllly* sucked to see. And now I want to never eat again and cry and die because she looked skinnier than me, prettier than me, shorter, cuter... And they have *so* much history and is a huge insecurity point for me anyway. SO has called me beautiful, but I don't think he's ever called me the most beautiful girl in the world.
What if I'm just someone he's settling for because he lost his perfect dream girl... How can I ever feel like I'm good enough when I have her looming over me around what seems every corner, reminding me how I'm not as good as her...
Even if he tells me it ended for a reason, and she'd cheated on him, and they'd eventually just fought all the time, and he's happy with *me*, married *me* not *her*, says no one's ever treated him as well as I have... Still I can't get this poison out of my dark broken head and heart, and I'm drowning. And so scared.
Sorry for the long rant. I'm off to extend my intended fasts to try to become beautiful to earn my husband's love. Hah.
[Tip] Self care is not weighing yourself on your bday
/u/acidfairy [5'4" | CW: 133 | GW: 115 | -45 | 24F]
Created: Tue Jan 2 07:01:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nmkj8/self_care_is_not_weighing_yourself_on_your_bday/
---
[Rant/Rave] Dad stole my food. Again.
/u/cloudsofdawn [169cm - 5'6.5' | CW: 119.9lbs | 19.1 BMI | -23lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jan 2 05:54:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nm9az/dad_stole_my_food_again/
---
So a few days ago my mom got me a chicken so I could separate it and put it in the fridge as I like to eat it cold over the course of a few days. It allows me to get protein and not really eat anything else, and I’m also eating meat only a few days a week now so it was going to be my only meat for the week. I left a little bit in the dish last night, and I was going to have some this morning but I felt very unsure if I should even eat.
I went to get it and turns out my dad took it, put a bunch of shit on it and is taking it for his lunch. Even if I wanted it now it’s ruined by all the bullshit he added.
He and other family members always do this, but especially him. He knows how much it pisses me off and upsets me and this even happened like a week and a half ago when he took a peanut butter ball from me without asking after I portioned them out in my meal plan for the day and he completely ruined my day. He thought it was so funny and was like do you want it back? And licked it.
I am so furious I want to pee and also kill someone and myself. I don’t even know what this reaction is but it’s one of my worst meltdown type reactions that I get and I’m so upset and furious.
I’m so fUCKING ANGRY
Brain note:(fuck you for being such a piece of shit who thinks it’s funny to take what isn’t yours and laugh and make fun of me and tease me. Fuck right off )
So yeah guess I’m not eating now :))))))))
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday January 02, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jan 2 05:11:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nm2qp/thinspo_tuesday_january_02_2018/
---
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! January 02, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jan 2 05:11:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nm2q1/daily_food_diary_january_02_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 02, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] January 2nd, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 2 04:53:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nlzza/january_2nd_2018_question_of_the_day/
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Can people change?
[Rant/Rave] Lol I just got one-upped when I admitted to having hit a new low.
/u/BronArianwyn
Created: Tue Jan 2 03:20:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nlmwt/lol_i_just_got_oneupped_when_i_admitted_to_having/
---
New years was....bad.
I've never hit bottom so hard and I came so close to giving in to the nasty thoughts and mean food cravings, and I binged and didn't get my new years eve kiss and if it weren't for a simple acquaintance I might have done some serious harm to myself that night.
New years day, fuck all the promises. I binged all day. I laid in bed, all day, not dead, wishing I was.
I finally told my bf about it..the nightmares, the constant battle and what happened last night
and of course it turned into a one upping contest. "Well I've had to deal with that kind of stuff my whole life."
so. As usual. I hit rock bottom, open up to some one, get one upped and have to shut the fuck up again, and nod, and say brokenly "That must be terrible for you."
and now I'm here, still binging. I can't even taste the food any more, i don't care about it, I don't want it, I don't care what'll happen the more I eat. I taste nothing. my stomache will burst..
I'm tired of this shit and I ache.
[Discussion] I'm in love and I don't even want to eat
/u/cum-here-honey
Created: Tue Jan 2 03:12:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nllpt/im_in_love_and_i_dont_even_want_to_eat/
---
DAE experience this? It makes me feel so pathetic and a fraud.
Usually I stick to my calorie goal but I do feel deprived sometimes. But now I don't even feel hungry. Food just doesn't seem desirable at all anymore. It's just such a strange feeling because I've always been obsessed with food, when I was fat and now I'm not.
It's not a conscious decision like 'let's lose more weight to look good for him' either. It's like my brain just got completely rewired, and I can't help but love it.
[Rant/Rave] i hate seeing new high calorie recipes
/u/finnkat
Created: Tue Jan 2 02:27:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nlfgb/i_hate_seeing_new_high_calorie_recipes/
---
They always look sooo good, especially if they have cheese in it, and i want to try it so so bad, like, even just once. But then i look at the calories and I either can't do it and am stuck in an infinite cycle of desire and fear or i do try it and I'm stuck in a cycle of fleeting flavor and guilt. I miss high calorie foods so bad guys. I just wanna eat a whole bag of Doritos dipped in salsa and eat enchiladas and gross fatty boxed mac n cheese. But I'm so close to seeing the scale at a good number and I can't lose that, it's the only thing I'm living for right now, if I don't have my weight loss I don't have anything. I can deal with hunger, it's the temptation and cravings that make this a living hell. Sorry this is such a nothing post, I just needed to vent somewhere where someone might understand.
[Other] Finally feeling hunger again
/u/Canadascutestginger
Created: Tue Jan 2 02:18:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nle5k/finally_feeling_hunger_again/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] How long will it take for others to see visible weight loss if I started fasting today?
/u/StormyTUNDRAwolf
Created: Tue Jan 2 00:44:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nl145/how_long_will_it_take_for_others_to_see_visible/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] HELP NEED TO LOSE 41 pounds in a month I’ve been eating like 1200 calories a day and doing small exercises while doing nothing idk why I’m gaining weight my body hates me help
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 1 22:40:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nkhgd/help_need_to_lose_41_pounds_in_a_month_ive_been/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] New Year, New Habits
/u/bonitahermosura
Created: Mon Jan 1 21:45:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nk7wr/new_year_new_habits/
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I’m really scared I’ll start purging all the time now. Last night I went to a NYE party and got extremely drunk. I drunkenly ended up in the bathroom just throwing up everything I possibly could. I kept making myself throw up over and over again and in a really sick and twisted way I was so proud that I could get all of this damn calories out of my system, maybe I was even going to lose some weight in the process. It’s really funny how even when I’m drunk all I can think about is my goddamn ED, it’s almost like that is the only thing that matters to me and defines me entirely. But before last night I never successfully purged. I tried but I never had the courage to actually put all the effort I could into it. But after last night, after practically going all the way down my throat, I’m addicted almost. I bought some crepes from ihop in the morning and when I got home I felt the urge to throw it all up. It felt so easy to do. But now I’m afraid that in addition to restricting and fasting I’ll start throwing up the little food I actually eat. And I know that even though I’m scared I’m still going to do it. I don’t know what to think or how to feel.
[Other] hopefully tomorrow goes as well as I have planned.... reality? we’ll see I guess
/u/sammy_irl [5'11"/180cm | y-i-k-e-s | GW: small | 21F]
Created: Mon Jan 1 21:29:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nk4zm/hopefully_tomorrow_goes_as_well_as_i_have_planned/
---
https://i.imgur.com/Ah3WCzt.png
[Help] What are your tips for getting off a binge cycle?
/u/ultravi0lent [5' | CW: 139.2 lbs | SW: 211 | GW: nothing but bones | F]
Created: Mon Jan 1 21:25:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nk4br/what_are_your_tips_for_getting_off_a_binge_cycle/
---
I live with my parents so please note that I can’t fast. My life has been fucking hell since October - I binge almost every day and put on at least 20 pounds. I’ve tried eating at maintenance but it’s so hard for my ED brain to be fine with it - I feel like I have to eat 800 calories or 5,000 and there is no inbetween. I have a borderline personality disorder, which make this black-and-white way to think even worse for me.
At this point I’m just desperate to get off this cycle for good. I’ve had a few good days but I’m unable to stick around. Restricting used to feel so easy and now that I’ve lost control, I just can’t fucking get it back. I’m tired, I’m mad at myself and my self-esteem is shit. Help? 😞
[Help] DAE have really bad periods?
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 80 lbs | 15.3 | -27 lbs | f]
Created: Mon Jan 1 21:22:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nk3os/dae_have_really_bad_periods/
---
I'm not talking like, a little cramping and moodiness. I am talking full on suicidal mood swings, bleeding to the point of being nodicably paler, cramps that bring you to your knees, hours sobbing on the bathroom floor because you can't stop barfing, etc, etc etc.
I fucking go through this every 20-40 days.
But no one will take me seriously because of my eating disorder.
In fact, one doctor flat out refused to beleive I even still have a cycle.
I feel horribly isolated in this and honestly it's a huge setback in any and all recovery attempts because like, if it's this bad when i'm starved what the hell would i go through at a healthy weight?
I hope that's coherent, but i'm honestly not sure how much sense i'm making writing half conscious on the bathroom floor.
May god have mercy on my soul (and my uterus).
[Rant/Rave] Today’s familial frustration
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 1 20:56:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7njytm/todays_familial_frustration/
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My 6’4, 200 pound, competitive rower of a father thinks he needs to eat 1700 calories a day to maintain his weight and insists that if he eats any more he gains like crazy (for reference, all scales suggest he needs at least 2300 at sedentary). When I tried to explain to him that I need around 1500, he started talking about genetics and how I must have my mum’s genes. Frustrating because I couldn’t convince him otherwise but also scary because what if he’s right and I actually have his genes and I’ll never be able to lose anything? I can’t wait to go back home once the holiday break is over.
[Rant/Rave] This (270) plus a S’mores Think Thin bar (150) is my lunch/OMAD tomorrow and I’m super excited!
/u/anonymousalmondmilk
Created: Mon Jan 1 20:50:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7njxq7/this_270_plus_a_smores_think_thin_bar_150_is_my/
---
https://i.redd.it/50qcjb0ztk701.jpg
[Other] ed_irl
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 198lbs | M]
Created: Mon Jan 1 20:49:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7njxll/ed_irl/
---
https://i.redd.it/mp0hes0vtk701.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Lost two pant sizes, still not enough.
/u/CrochetedKingdoms
Created: Mon Jan 1 20:49:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7njxib/lost_two_pant_sizes_still_not_enough/
---
I'm so upset. I went from a 24 to a 20 and have been working so hard. I felt so nice yesterday that I took a few nice pictures of myself. But tonight my stomach is swelling because of how stressed I am.
It's not enough.
And I know it'll never be enough.
I'm so sick tonight. I can feel a migraine coming on and I'm so constipated and laxatives are just killing my stomach.
If I can get to 120... I know it's naive. And I know better. But if I can get to 120, maybe. Just maybe...something.
[Goal] Finally caved...
/u/Therinnyone
Created: Mon Jan 1 20:48:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7njxf0/finally_caved/
---
And bought some laxatives yesterday. I'm so tired of purging and worrying about my teeth falling out! I lost 2 already and a 3rd one that is cracked off. But I always feel so damn guilty when I eat! And I'm an emotional eater. And I've been very emotional lately 😌😥
[Other] New Year’s grocery hauls? Here’s mine (list in comments)
/u/cananabananabal
Created: Mon Jan 1 19:23:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7njgx3/new_years_grocery_hauls_heres_mine_list_in/
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http://imgur.com/NIhUCze
[Rant/Rave] I should have stayed home.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 1 19:14:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7njf03/i_should_have_stayed_home/
---
[deleted]
[Intro] Accidentally killed my pet today.
/u/bcoptions123
Created: Mon Jan 1 18:45:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nj9cc/accidentally_killed_my_pet_today/
---
Hi all. I'm a long time lurker and though I don't participate in the subreddit I'm always blown away by what a supportive group you are.
I've struggled with disordered eating, self-loathing, and self-harm since I was about 15. I'm almost 30 now. I haven't self-harmed since I was a teen, thankfully. Disordered eating has been a problem since I discovered what a calorie was.
Anyway. I'm really having a tough day today and I feel like I have no one to reach out to. My lovely fiancé is doing his best.
I had a healthy little elderly rodent pet... And I stupidly put her on the couch beside me, right beside a high banister on a staircase.
You can probably see where this is going. I wasn't paying attention, she hopped onto the bannister and fell about ten feet onto the stairs.
God it was awful. Like watching a slow motion car crash. She hit the stair and I heard the terrible sound of squealing. I rushed down the stairs and she was writhing. I managed to scoop her up before my dog got to her. She was taking big gasping breaths and struggling to get out of my grip.
I just helplessly held her against my chest while she struggled to breath. Then she stopped breathing.
I just feel....such immense guilt. I killed her with my carelessness. She was a sweet elderly little creature (7 years old) and had to die because I was stupid. A momentary lapse in judgement.
I just held her against my chest for several hours, crying. I made a little coffin for her and my fiance brought her out to the garage. The ground is too frozen to dig a grave.
I just can't stop crying and the urges to self-harmed are so so strong. I feel so guilty and awful. My fiance would obviously notice if I cut myself and I can't deal with that shame. I guess restricting until I feel better is the next best alternative.
To top it off, today is the last day of Christmas vacation so I have to return to work tomorrow. It's going to be really hard not to cry there, and that's literally my worst nightmare.
Thanks for reading... It just feels soothing to type it all out.
[Discussion] Real Dinner Advice
/u/irrevocably_damaged
Created: Mon Jan 1 18:43:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nj913/real_dinner_advice/
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I’m on a drunkarexia binge since the holidays and I really don’t wanna talk about all the horrible things I’ve done in the past few days so all I wanna ask is if any of you know some “filling” dinner meals. I always cook for my husband but never really eat any of it and I would love to share that kind of moment with him since dinner always feels weird for me. Any suggestions would be marvelous. Thank you in advance ❤️
[Rant/Rave] Who even am I anymore
/u/dre-ezy [5’4 | CW 101.2 | ftm ]
Created: Mon Jan 1 18:43:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nj8y9/who_even_am_i_anymore/
---
I’m high and me and my roommate legit just took turns purging and all I can think about is how fucked up this is, how disappointed my younger self would be in me, how disappointed I am
in me
Fuck
[Discussion] Help me be supportive
/u/ghiqimprov
Created: Mon Jan 1 18:37:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nj7va/help_me_be_supportive/
---
I just stumbled across this subreddit and thought you guys were all so amazing.
Reading through showed me that sometimes people don't understand EDs and how their actions can affect others.
I don't have an ED, I was raised with the romanticized views on body image and spent my teen years browsing reddit where it's all pictures of naked girls and comments from dudes saying what they'd do to them or saying what's wrong with their bodies. People always try to give empty advice to others with disorders as if it were easy.
As a result, I (and people like me) might say some callous things without realizing.
What should a person like me look out for? Do you have stories of a time that family/friends/SO were very supportive? Or times that they caused something worse than they'd ever realize? How should the culture change to offer a safer space?
Much love to you all ❤️
[Rant/Rave] Sometimes I think this is unhealthy..
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 1 18:15:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nj3cp/sometimes_i_think_this_is_unhealthy/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nj3cp/sometimes_i_think_this_is_unhealthy/
[Help] Time for binging
/u/SirMarmota8
Created: Mon Jan 1 17:54:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7niyyh/time_for_binging/
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[removed]
Another New Year's Post, Sorry...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 1 17:29:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nitpz/another_new_years_post_sorry/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nitpz/another_new_years_post_sorry/
[Other] [other] My mom just told me we're having a family reunion at the beginning of March...
/u/mynormalheart [5' 3" | CW: Landwhale -18lb | GW: 137 | UGW: 115| 25F]
Created: Mon Jan 1 17:15:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7niqok/other_my_mom_just_told_me_were_having_a_family/
---
...talk about an instant appetite suppressant. I was in the middle of eating dinner and it immediately made my food taste like ash in my mouth.
That side of my family is all rail thin with beautiful skin and make me feel so ugly when I'm around them. So I have a little over 2 months to drop 20 lbs and clear my face up before I have to see them. I think it might be the kick in the butt I needed to get back on track! Though I'm terrified I won't be able to do it and I'll be the only pimple-faced tub of lard in all the pictures...
[Rant/Rave] I was the "hot girl" last night at a New Year's Eve party.
/u/YourChinaDoll
Created: Mon Jan 1 17:11:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7niply/i_was_the_hot_girl_last_night_at_a_new_years_eve/
---
After years of being the fat outcast and not fitting in. After spending my entire life never quite feeling like a "real girl" (whatever that even means, I don't even know).
After months of going to the gym and watching makeup tutorials on YouTube. After dying my hair blonde and keeping my nails and eyebrows perfect. After hours of applying perfect makeup, straightening my dyed hair, squeezing into a tiny dress and high heels.
You know how it felt? Fucking fantastic. Guys wanted me. I went home with the guy I wanted to go home with. It wasn't just me standing by the wall and wishing he would come talk to me, as has been the case my entire life. Girls were even nice to me, they wanted to talk to me and get to know me. People brought me free drinks.
You know how else it felt? Triggering. After battling bulimia for 9 years, I have been trying to eat as "normally" as possible AND SUCCEEDING. And today I ate pancakes with butter and bawled my eyes out and purged for the first time in months. I don't think I'll ever be able to win.
I feel so empty inside.
[Discussion] Anyone else have a chronic illness that affects your relationship with food?
/u/social_anx_throwaway
Created: Mon Jan 1 17:01:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ninrs/anyone_else_have_a_chronic_illness_that_affects/
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I was diagnosed with pseudotumor cerebri when I was 13, around the same time my ED began. It's a condition that causes an overproduction of fluid in the skull and causes horrible headaches and can lead to blindness. It's directly correlated to weight and it forces me to keep my weight down and constantly watch everything I eat. My neurologists over the years have constantly emphasized how important it is to keep my BMI low and it puts a lot of pressure on me. I recently had another flare up and immediately began watching my weight very closely and started purging very heavily, 4-5 times a day. I lost 20 lbs in about month but ended up gaining about 7 back during the holidays since I was feeling better and not so worried anymore but now I feel my headaches coming back. I'm terrified of gaining weight since my neurologists seem to think it's time to consider brain surgery as an alternative solution.
I was wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience? I do think a large majority of my ED stems from psychological problems from being overweight in childhood but I've noticed this disease has made me relapse into unhealthy habits again. I just feel so low and scared and don't feel like anyone understands what I'm going through. My mom found out I was purging again and I told her she doesn't understand the pressure I am under to quickly drop weight.
[Rant/Rave] Binged on the last day of 2017
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 |SW.156 |CW.137 |GW.120 |23.07 |F]
Created: Mon Jan 1 16:19:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nieuh/binged_on_the_last_day_of_2017/
---
My first time binging in months and I ate so much, I even ate dairy which I have been working on quitting (trust me now I’m done with it). I felt so sick at the end of the night so fucking bloated with food, woke up this morning and I am so stopped up. I weigh 4lbs heavier (water weight and waste all that yadayada) and I am thinking about using my laxative tea because I need this shit out of my stomach. It’s 2018 time to start fresh guys!!!
[Discussion] something relatable my stepmom just said
/u/fortunate-foolx [62 in. | 217 lb | 39 | -13 | 18F]
Created: Mon Jan 1 14:56:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nhxd5/something_relatable_my_stepmom_just_said/
---
just want to disclose before i say this but: I DO NOT SEE ANOREXIA OR ANY OTHER EATING DISORDERS AS A DIET!!!! however, other people seem to, which is why i find it funny, because i'm always "dieting" to them. but i ordered an unwich from jimmy johns, because calories from bread yo. and she goes, "are you on a diet again, youre always dieting, it's like it's your identity at this point." and i'm just like lololol if only you knew woman.
anyway: happy new year, lovelies. <3
[Discussion] Just purged for the first time in ages
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 1 14:39:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nhtor/just_purged_for_the_first_time_in_ages/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nhtor/just_purged_for_the_first_time_in_ages/
[Discussion] Just purged for the first time in months
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 1 14:38:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nhtf3/just_purged_for_the_first_time_in_months/
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[deleted]
[Other] So much for a fresh start for the new year
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 1 14:22:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nhq03/so_much_for_a_fresh_start_for_the_new_year/
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[deleted]
[Help] Had a 24 hour fast💖
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 1 14:16:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nholx/had_a_24_hour_fast/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] News years 2018
/u/km_14
Created: Mon Jan 1 14:01:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nhl5b/news_years_2018/
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I really fucked Up last night and did something really bad. And now the next day I’m scrambling to find a place to get the Plan B pill and I have no money. on top of that I haven’t eaten for 3 days. I got too drunk last night. I threw up a ton. I feel weak and depressed and the only thing that’s keeping me going is thinking how excited I’ll be when I go another 24 hours without eating.
I just don’t want to live to see 2019.
[Discussion] January Goals
/u/shrinktoavoid [F 5'7|107.8 - Maintenance]
Created: Mon Jan 1 13:45:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nhhh0/january_goals/
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So I keep seeing a lot of New Years goal posts, but I suck at long term stuff and need the motivation of short term stuff instead.
So what's your goal for just this month?
Here's mine:
No binging
No purging
No diet soda or energy drinks
[Discussion] What is your favorite drink for curbing appetite?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 1 13:44:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nhh8u/what_is_your_favorite_drink_for_curbing_appetite/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Advice/Help? *trigger warning*
/u/peace-and-bong-life
Created: Mon Jan 1 13:10:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nh9ps/advicehelp_trigger_warning/
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This is going to sound a bit silly but I'm really stressing. My parents went away for a few days and bought me some food to eat while they were gone, but I've not eaten at all because ??? and they're coming home tomorrow and all this food they bought for me is still here. I don't even know what's wrong with me, I just weighed myself and sort of stupidly challenged myself to see how much I could lose and I don't know what to do now. I'd like to eat again but it feels too overwhelming and I'm stressed about the fact it will be obvious I haven't eaten in days. I guess I'm starting 2018 in a complete fucking mess. Happy new year.
[Other] skinny pants
/u/MooMooOinkOink [current BMI 20/ 1st goal BMI 18.5]
Created: Mon Jan 1 13:05:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nh8j6/skinny_pants/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Ugggghhhhh
/u/Brizyse [5'5"|CW:Too Many|UGW:115|17F]
Created: Mon Jan 1 13:01:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nh7mz/ugggghhhhh/
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[removed]
[Goal] Chew And Spit January!!
/u/Elizawitch [5'3" | Female | CW: 100lbs | GW: 90lbs | UGW: 85lbs]
Created: Mon Jan 1 12:44:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nh3v9/chew_and_spit_january/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Holiday stress
/u/Sb22312
Created: Mon Jan 1 12:44:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nh3q6/holiday_stress/
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On break from uni for the Christmas and I feel like I'm un doing all my work and gaining weight it's stressing me out so much . My parents keep offering me unhealthy food and drinks and I can't turn them down because I'm bored and sad and I just can't deal I've put on like 4 pounds though I'm not sure how much is fat and how much is water weight ect. I'm staring fasting tommorow and I'm just going to try and keep busy
any advice for avoiding temptation and dropping some weight before I go back to uni ?
[Help] I need help with eating out
/u/StormyTUNDRAwolf
Created: Mon Jan 1 12:18:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ngya2/i_need_help_with_eating_out/
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How do you avoid having to eat at restaurants ect.when going out with friends? Especially having to watch them eat food for like an hour +?
[Rant/Rave] why do I let things that are completely out of my control trigger me????
/u/applesforhungry
Created: Mon Jan 1 11:53:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ngss0/why_do_i_let_things_that_are_completely_out_of_my/
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this guy I'm fucking obsessed with and used to have a bit of a thing with just got in a relationship and it's triggered me to fuck. Half of me is like well no fucking wonder pal, you're ugly as fuck who'd want you anyway? might as well just binge like the failure you are. But then the other half of me is like nah we'll show him, lose another 10, 15, 20lbs and he'll fucking NOTICE. He noticed when I lost a lot of weight recently and got very protective and worried about me but I guess he doesn't care now. FUCK why do I care at all? I feel so childish, I'm an adult why am I thinking in such a petty way, his relationship is nothing to do with me. I'm a toxic person he's better off not even knowing me, god I hate myself. I'm the definition of an attention seeker how pathetic.
[Help] Fitbit app help
/u/dino_bones72 [5’3” | 130lbs | 22 | 13lbs | Female ]
Created: Mon Jan 1 11:26:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ngmq1/fitbit_app_help/
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Does anyone use the Fitbit app? I’m very confused by it.
So I input all my stats, set my target weight and chose the timeframe. It said I need to undereat by 1,000/day leaving me with 283/day (+ any extra I gain by exercising). It seems like it’s taking the caloric deficit from my BMR - is this right? I thought you restricted from your TDEE.
Like today, I’ve had 1,200 calories (don’t judge - it’s tradition in Scotland to have steak pie on NYD and that puff pastry is loaded with cals) but Fitbit tells me I’ve over eaten by 983. I’m very confused!
What’s weirder is that if you set your own daily calorie limit, the lowest you can set is 1,000. But it can tell me a max of 283 per day? I know I have an ED, but even I’m not mental enough to get by on ~300/day. 750-900 is my usual aim
[Help] In need of some advice/kind words/help/tr: self harm
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 151.5 | GW: 118 | -15.3 | F24]
Created: Mon Jan 1 11:21:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nglqa/in_need_of_some_advicekind_wordshelptr_self_harm/
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Hey guys, happy 2018!! Or my condolences, whichever applies (I'm not sure which applies to me yet honestly).
So the issue: family cruise for the holidays. Oh yes. Just me, my sister, mom and dad for 8 nights on a ship full of unlimited food and booze and no scales. To add to the joy? Guess who forgot their appetite curbing ADD meds AND their anti-anxiety meds? Yep. We got back yesterday.
I am TERRIFIED of the scale. Not only do I think I experienced a bit of refeeding syndrome (tried to fast before the cruise and my stomach reacted really poorly to the sudden binging), but uhmm....for some reason I've discovered that pooping everyday is a trigger for me? I'm so used to going twice a week max, going multiple times a day seriously freaked me out. How much did I eat to actually be able to go multiple times a day?!?! Christ.
Guys I ate SO much. My stomach was full to bursting so often throughout this cruise and what did I do about it? Go eat fucking more. Why?!??!?!?! I'm sure I gained all of my 22lbs back.
Even worse, my little sister is thin as hell. Like, about 109 and my height of 5'2". She needed to weight her suitcase to make sure it wasn't overweight, so I gave her my scale and had her weigh herself first (now I finally know what she weighs), and then weight herself holding the suitcase, and subtract to get the difference. Guys....She weighed 146 with the suitcase. My current weight that day. The weight I worked SO HARD to reach. My 20lb loss mark. So now I know to look like her I have to lose the equivalent of a heavy as fuck SUITCASE.
This post is definitely all over the place. I'm trying to go back to restricting, going back on my meds has fucked up my stomach, and I'm hanging out at my BFs waiting for the HVAC guy to come fix the heat because it's broken (single digit weather outside too). So yeah all over the place. And I found out I failed all my grad school courses last semester so I'm pretty much just....I just want to die and carve myself up with a razor blade. Mixed up the order of those things lol.
Help?
[Intro] mainly a lurker here
/u/LovelleLatte
Created: Mon Jan 1 11:13:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ngjz9/mainly_a_lurker_here/
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i've been posting in this sub here and there but never actually introduced myself, so hi!
i always had body image issues since i was a kid, struggled with binge eating a lot and hated myself for eating, then about a year and a half ago i wanted to lose weight again so i started eating really clean which helped me with the binge urges to be almost gone and i didn't really calorie count mount just estimated mostly. after that i started counting every calorie and use food scale because not knowing the amount i ate would freak me out or make me feel nervous. and just generally feel like a failure whenever i eat something, like if i can't control this one thing then i can't control anything in my life anymore. i started with eating about 1600-1500 calories, then it seemed too much, went down to 1200-1300, then 1000 and these days 700-900 and that feels like too much most days as well and scares me.
honestly i joined this sub because i feel it's nice to have people who have the issues and can understand each other with judging, but anyways that's about it :)
[Discussion] has anyone here tried oppo ice cream (UK)?
/u/intensitei [5’8 | fat | 23F]
Created: Mon Jan 1 10:54:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ngfrn/has_anyone_here_tried_oppo_ice_cream_uk/
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this is the website: https://www.oppoicecream.co.uk/
it’s only sold in the UK i guess and it seems to be super low-cal. any UK users here ever tried it or even heard of it? does it taste like sad bland coldness? or actual ice cream?
i’m in the US so i can’t even try it lmao but i’m curious!
[Help] Had a bad fight with my bf
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 1 10:49:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ngeqd/had_a_bad_fight_with_my_bf/
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[deleted]
[Other] Face progress maybe? Trying to feel happy about how far I’ve come instead of dwelling on what I ate last night for New Year’s
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 1 10:48:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ngekm/face_progress_maybe_trying_to_feel_happy_about/
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https://i.redd.it/ktfjg5vluh701.jpg
i need new pants but I'm too fat
/u/gross9876 [5' 3" | 120 | 21.6 | not a girl]
Created: Mon Jan 1 10:27:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nga37/i_need_new_pants_but_im_too_fat/
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I have **one** pair of pants and they're getting dirty.
I don't want to buy new pants, though, because I want to lose weight. If I buy a size 4 now, it'll be baggy in a couple months.
DAE deal with this? What should I do?
[Discussion] My body image is so far warped at this point.
/u/ditzydizz [❤ 19F | 5'2" | hw~150 cw~115 gw~100 ugw~90 ❤]
Created: Mon Jan 1 10:23:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ng963/my_body_image_is_so_far_warped_at_this_point/
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I have always thought I was fat, since reaching my hw about 4 years ago. I keep telling myself, at the next milestone gw I am Not Allowed to think I'm fat anymore. But that weight just keeps getting lower and lower, as each one I reach, I still think I look like a whale.
Recently, I saw a picture of a girl in my uni who I've always thought was goals. She looked to be about my current size actually...
... And that's when I realized, while looking at pictures of her (and other girls I thought of as "thin"), if I had her body, I would think I was fat now. Without a doubt. Despite the fact that I have never seen her as even remotely fat!
I just wish I could see myself that way. All I see is fat that needs to be gone ASAP.
[Rant/Rave] I’m just fat and have no friends
/u/daisyhands
Created: Mon Jan 1 10:03:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ng4w1/im_just_fat_and_have_no_friends/
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All of my friends have separate chats where they exclude me. I don’t know why but this always happens to me. I don’t do anything wrong, i’m introverted and quiet so maybe that is it? maybe they don’t like that i’m quiet or maybe they think i’m just stupid for losing weight and not eating lunch with them or going out for meals with them or eating snacks at the cinema. I think that being excluded and having no friends is the absolute worst feeling ever, especially when you see them doing things all over social media everyday. i have no one and all i can do is eat and feel guilty. i’m so pathetic.
[Goal] My new years resolution is to not go over 2,000 kcals
/u/laurasia3oo2
Created: Mon Jan 1 09:41:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ng0c7/my_new_years_resolution_is_to_not_go_over_2000/
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[removed]
[Discussion] January 1st, 2018 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 1 09:23:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nfwyc/january_1st_2018_question_of_the_day/
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What is your mission?
Happy 2018 everyone! Let’s hope it’s better than 2017 for many reasons 🙄
[Rant/Rave] [rant] New year, no food for me.
/u/idontevenliketeatbh [23F 5'3" | cw.159 | gw.120 | ugw.100 | lost.40lbs ☕ ]
Created: Mon Jan 1 09:20:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nfw9b/rant_new_year_no_food_for_me/
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I was scrolling through Facebook and my friend posted a picture. Her new years resolution last year was to lose weight. And she did. She's much skinnier than me now. I've always been thinner than her. Now the tables have turned and I can't even be happy for her. I'm mad, jealous, disgusted with myself. I can't believe I let myself get this way. I'm a blob. A blob full of bitterness and I can't make it right so I guess I'll fast.
How many?!
/u/hlllzbth
Created: Mon Jan 1 09:16:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nfvik/how_many/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] time differences are FUCKING ME UP
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 1 08:27:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nfmnj/time_differences_are_fucking_me_up/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nfmnj/time_differences_are_fucking_me_up/
[Discussion] Do any of you have access to InBody? I've lost eight since it told me to gain seven. It doesn't have my full trust and negative on that muscle growth discouragement, but I'll take the fat loss compliment with joy.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 1 07:28:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nfcxm/do_any_of_you_have_access_to_inbody_ive_lost/
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https://i.redd.it/45kgdt2uug701.jpg
[Other] Do any of you have access to InBody? I've lost 8 since it last told me to gain 7. I don't trust it compliantly or appreciate discouragement of muscle growth, but do accept the fat loss compliments with joy.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 1 07:18:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nfbj6/do_any_of_you_have_access_to_inbody_ive_lost_8/
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https://i.redd.it/rqjrake1tg701.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Who else fucked up from the FIRST DAY?!?!😭😭
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 1 06:38:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nf611/who_else_fucked_up_from_the_first_day/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nf611/who_else_fucked_up_from_the_first_day/
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! January 01, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jan 1 05:15:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nevlu/weekly_stats_update_january_01_2018/
---
This is the weekly status thread for January 01, 2018.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! January 01, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jan 1 05:15:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nevlj/daily_food_diary_january_01_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 01, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Help] Puffy face; Could it be ED related?
/u/Fibreoptic_Calico
Created: Mon Jan 1 04:37:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ner4j/puffy_face_could_it_be_ed_related/
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I know we are not doctors. I'm not looking for medical advice, more opinions and experiences. I will go to a doctor when they reopen (hahahaha, they average waiting time to see a doctor is 4+ weeks)
This is probably the wrong place to ask this. My face is puffy, I look like a toad. The definitions of my face have gone and my eyes look like two piss holes in the snow.
I've not been purging, so I don't think it's chipmunk cheeks from that. I had been restricting around 1000 give it take 100 cals for about a month. Christmas has seen an increase in my intake. Not an overly excessive amount, but way more.
I know severe anorexics get puffy faces when refeeding, but I don't think my level of ED would cause this.
My tonsils feel swollen and I feel a bit restricted when swallowing, but I don't feel like I have a virus.
So after writing this, I would assume that it's not ED related, but in case I am missing something, I thought I'd ask here as I can't ask anyone else regarding ed stuff
Peace out x
[Rant/Rave] Nye was crappy. But...
/u/aceshighsays [5'2" | C: 107.8 | -30.2 | F | G: 99]
Created: Mon Jan 1 04:06:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nenmq/nye_was_crappy_but/
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[removed]
[Help] GUYS OHMYGOD HELP
/u/runjumpflip [5'3 | CW 110 | 19.5 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 1 03:39:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nekr2/guys_ohmygod_help/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Sexual abuse and EDs
/u/runjumpflip [5'3 | CW 110 | 19.5 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 1 02:58:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7neg0q/sexual_abuse_and_eds/
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So I dunno. I saw this song on my feed and it's quite good. And the girl in the striped shirt looks anorexic to me and it just got me thinking like. Idk. I've been sexually abused. And I know EDs aren't caused by sexual abuse but it's such a big like, trigger I guess. Sort of sets it off or makes it worse. Anyways. Here's the link.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Music/comments/7ndc7k/stella_donnelly_boys_will_be_boys_indie/?st=JBW1623B&sh=044f7493
[Rant/Rave] I literally spent my last minutes of 2017 b/ping.
/u/ginandorganicjuice
Created: Mon Jan 1 01:56:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ne9ei/i_literally_spent_my_last_minutes_of_2017_bping/
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[removed]
[Other] New Year’s Resolutions
/u/Toothflossie [5'9" | 96lbs | 14.2 bmi]
Created: Mon Jan 1 01:10:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ne3w6/new_years_resolutions/
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Guys I just ate a cupcake (on top of chili and alcohol) and I feel okay with it. I’ve been purging every day for the past year+.
My goal for this year is to get over myself, stop purging, and gain 15lbs. Hopefully this is a good start. (:
I’m also a little tipsy right now. Happy New Years!! :D
[Discussion] Anyone else starting the year off with a fast?
/u/BrabyBusiness [5'1|110lbs|25F 🦂]
Created: Mon Jan 1 00:50:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ne1gf/anyone_else_starting_the_year_off_with_a_fast/
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This might be the first New Years Eve where I haven't stuffed my face and I feel like this is the perfect set up. I havent had anything to eat and we are almost 3 hours into the new year. It's been like 10 years that I've been making my new years resolution to stop being such a fatass and I'm feeling good things about this year.
Anyone else feel like they'll lose all the weight and suddenly be the most happy, perfect, person ever?! Yeah....me too.
Best diet plans: seeking suggestions
/u/Sweetparamour2 [171cm | 56kg | 19bmi | 3kg | Female]
Created: Mon Jan 1 00:43:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ne0mw/best_diet_plans_seeking_suggestions/
---
[removed]
Happy New Year's - I HATE THAT ALCOHOL HAS CALORIES
/u/Canyoubelievethat1
Created: Sun Dec 31 23:05:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ndnd4/happy_new_years_i_hate_that_alcohol_has_calories/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Happy New Year. I’m freaking out.
/u/accordingtoging [5'9" | 135 | 19.5 | -40 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 31 22:34:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ndizb/happy_new_year_im_freaking_out/
---
I was so excited to spend the holiday with my boyfriend. I didn’t even care that we weren’t doing anything, just getting food and then hanging in a hotel room. I wasn’t even freaking about food. We got Chinese, and I ate whatever I wanted.
And then the conversation landed on a person he is friends with whom I don’t like (I have not outwardly expressed this dislike to him, so I don’t blame him for bringing her up), so I shut down, stopped eating, and ended up running to the bathroom to purge. Two girls heard me and ran out. I don’t even give a fuck. I don’t think my boyfriend knew what I was doing, but he also has a tendency to avoid confronting my purging.
We got back to the hotel, I was feeling better, he ordered a lava cake for us to split. I was excited about chocolate but anxious about how I would feel afterward mentally. I was okay, though the thought of purging was in the back of my mind. Ended up on the bed with me laying across him. He eventually had to ask me to get off. This wasn’t his fault, but I immediately was mortified and started freaking out. I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I weighed and how I was so fat I was crushing him and how I need to make myself light enough to fucking float so he’s never crushed by my body again.
He could tell I was weird, but I wouldn’t say anything. He eventually fell asleep half an hour before midnight. I didn’t even wait for the ball to drop before shutting everything off and curling into a ball. But I couldn’t sleep, so now I’m wandering around the hotel, trying to get enough steps in to make up for the food I couldn’t purge and trying not to cry. Why can’t I just have a normal night with my boyfriend?? Why the fuck does this disordered bullshit have to ruin everything??? I’m so upset and I want to cry while he holds me, but I can’t.
Sorry, I just needed to vent before I exploded. Thanks.
[Other] To those who feel that you should be "over it" but still in the midst of it
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'4"| 115 | 19.7 | meh | 26F]
Created: Sun Dec 31 22:29:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ndi2p/to_those_who_feel_that_you_should_be_over_it_but/
---
you aren't alone. Thank you for posting because it makes those who feel too "old for this" feel like we aren't alone and that we shouldn't be ashamed of our struggles. ED doesn't discriminate on anything as you all know.
and to those younger, you aren't alone either. I hope you know that EDs aren't a phase--it may change form but it's pretty much like wrestling with a boggart or dementor in life I suppose
No judgin, and no competition, just pure diamond hard support to all.
secret eaters makes me hungry
/u/gross9876 [5' 3" | 120 | 21.6 | not a girl]
Created: Sun Dec 31 22:00:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ndd3j/secret_eaters_makes_me_hungry/
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[removed]
[Tip] If you’re going to purge tonight...
/u/MistrrrOrgasmo
Created: Sun Dec 31 21:42:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ndadn/if_youre_going_to_purge_tonight/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Feeling a restrictive phase coming on again
/u/booger-burger69 [5'3 | CW: 117lbs | UGW 100lbs | -18lbs | 21F]
Created: Sun Dec 31 21:24:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nd7mr/feeling_a_restrictive_phase_coming_on_again/
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I had plans with my two coworkers/friends for a couple weeks now to go downtown for NYE and party. I don’t have a car right now so I get super excited when I get to get out of the house and have fun with my friends like I used to. The friend who lives near me was supposed to pick me up on her way to our other friend who lives close to downtown. I bought new black thigh high boots to wear with a sparkly sweater I got for christmas, and some pregame liquor for us to share.
I confirmed plans this afternoon then started getting ready. My makeup turned out amazing, my hair looked awesome, and my outfit was amazing too. I asked when my friend was coming to get me and she said “I’ll let you know”.
Hours go by and she just stopped responding to our texts in the group chat and my phone calls. She’s notoriously flakey like this, so we just assumed she didn’t want to come and called it a night. I’m guessing her and her boyfriend got in a huge fight or something.
This year has been complete shit for me and I was looking forward to this night out for weeks, hoping to end the year on a good note. I was so upset I just sat down on my bedroom floor and sobbed so hard I was violently shaking. Then I self harmed for the first time in more than five years.
I have been in recovery mode for weeks now, I just started eating normally again after a month of heavy restricting.... but now I can tell I’ve relapsed because of this. Something so stupid and trivial caused me to relapse into restricting AND self harm, something I haven’t done since early high school. I feel completely out of control and alone.
Happy nye proed
/u/GrotskyBeeyotch
Created: Sun Dec 31 21:15:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nd6aw/happy_nye_proed/
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https://youtu.be/71KdkbT7FKA
[Discussion] ED Shower thoughts thread
/u/antelsa [5'11" | F]
Created: Sun Dec 31 20:27:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ncysd/ed_shower_thoughts_thread/
---
Let’s share some ED shower thoughts. I’ll go first.
—I wonder if Halo Top and companies that sell laxatives have a part of their sales team that focuses on marketing to people with eating disorders
—Learning what calories are and the caloric content of different foods is the ultimate “once you see it, you can’t unsee it”
What are yours?
ABC diet and your experience with results.
/u/Sweetparamour2 [171cm | 56kg | 19bmi | 3kg | Female]
Created: Sun Dec 31 19:43:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ncrqr/abc_diet_and_your_experience_with_results/
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[removed]
[Help] EC stacking and alcohol?
/u/oxygens_overrated [5'4|HW:150|CW:147|LW:113|GW:125 |F| ]
Created: Sun Dec 31 19:33:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ncpyd/ec_stacking_and_alcohol/
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Is this okay? Has anyone stacked and drank heavily with it? Just trying to make sure I wake up tomorrow lol
[Help] I’ve been getting a lot of nosebleeds as of recently. Is this a sign of something wrong?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 31 18:54:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ncj6r/ive_been_getting_a_lot_of_nosebleeds_as_of/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ncj6r/ive_been_getting_a_lot_of_nosebleeds_as_of/
[Help] What’s my disorder ??
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 31 18:38:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ncge9/whats_my_disorder/
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[deleted]
[Intro] Hello again
/u/sveltlana
Created: Sun Dec 31 17:57:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nc8oy/hello_again/
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I've decided to come back here after completely struggling in 2017 with my mental health alone.
I found this place two years ago and was an active user, and I'm sure that most of the people I interacted with have left, but I recognise at least 4 mod names and can only say good things about them.
Some may think it's a silly thing to come here when I know that I want my mental health to improve in the new year, but to be honest I was happy being here and received more support than even my therapist.
I hope this post is okay. Some of the people I've met in this sub have been more caring and supportive to me than absolutely anyone in my life. I hope 2018 turns out how I want, for me and everyone here- that's all I can say. Thank you for listening.
[Rant/Rave] Drunk af and super anxious, 2018 has begun amazingly...
/u/ShouNinja [170cm | CW 56kg | BMI 19.32 | GW 48kg | 20F]
Created: Sun Dec 31 17:29:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nc3j0/drunk_af_and_super_anxious_2018_has_begun/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Can we talk about how lonely and isolating these diseases are? Melting here
/u/Kitten_in_a_teacup
Created: Sun Dec 31 16:18:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nbq2e/can_we_talk_about_how_lonely_and_isolating_these/
---
I spend my whole day trying to avoid food and therefore only thinking about it. By 4pm all I want to do is sleep, so I can reset my intake the next day (and also there is the eternal optimism of a morning weigh-in). Avoid a social life because of food temptation and hide from my spouse for the same reasons. Jfc. Happy 2018. :/
[Goal] Struggling with my calorie goals
/u/MisledDread
Created: Sun Dec 31 15:55:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nblqo/struggling_with_my_calorie_goals/
---
I got a Fitbit a few weeks ago. After inputting all my data(age, sex, weight, height, etc) it automatically came up with daily goals for me. One of the goals was the amount of calories I should strive to burn everyday- 2,300 to be exact. That amount includes my BMR though so, roughly 1200 calories of that 2,300 are being burnt off by my body just functioning. It's up to me to physically work off and burn the remaining 1,100(give or take).
At first, I didn't think it would be that difficult to do. I work out twice a day at moderate intensity, making sure I keep my heart rate in the "target zone" the whole time. I also am on my feet the entire time I'm at work, walking around, going up and down steps, and lifting and moving heavy items around. I should be burning off those calories easy peasy, right?
But, nope. There are plenty of days where I'm several hundred calories below my goal. Some days I barely make my goal just before the cutoff time. By the time I get off work, I usually have about 600-700 calories remaining that I need to burn off. I only have 35-45 minutes after work to workout before I have to go do other stuff. How am I suppose burn off 700 calories in less than an hour??
The reason why this frustrates me so much is because *I'm* not the one who set the calorie goal. If I was the one who set the goal, I would probably be able to step back and realize that I set an unrealistic and unobtainable goal for myself and should lower my expectations. However, the goal was set automatically by Fitbit. So, 2,300 is obviously considered a reasonable and healthy goal that the general population can be expected to burn off everyday. But I'm struggling to do it myself. It makes me so disappointed and frustrated with myself. Does that make any sense?
It's gotten to the point now where I'll only let myself eat after I reach the calorie burned goal. It's the only way I can motivate myself to try as hard as I can to reach the goal. Every night I eat at like 11pm now.lol.
Any other Fitbit or other fitness tracker users here? Do you struggle to meet your calorie goal or is it a breeze for you?
[Rant/Rave] Post new year’s feast rant and rave
/u/gciv_072 [Height 178cm | CW 55kg | CBMI 17,5 | GW 45kg | GBMI 14 | 18F]
Created: Sun Dec 31 15:53:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nbl7w/post_new_years_feast_rant_and_rave/
---
So, we don’t really celebrate Christmas where I live. New Year is the main holiday instead, and it’s generally associated with nationwide binging on mayo salads, cake, and lots of alcohol.
Tonight was my worst binge ever, probably more than 6000 cals. I ate a record amount of cake, cookies and mayo salads and drank way too much wine. I was celebrating with my oblivious grandmother (I don’t have friends obviously) whom I haven’t seen since summer, and she was HAPPY her girl gotten some “feminine curves” and ate like a “normal person”. She grew up during WW2 and is a survivor of a siege, her relationship with food is totally understandable but still, it’s so fucking messed up and offensive and just triggers me to drink and eat more, here the cycle repeats. I’m really sick and drunk and miserable and can’t even think properly.
I’ve been binging (anywhere from 1500 to 5000+) literally every day since early October. Consequently, I’ve gained 10 kg, ruined my sleep pattern, entirely failed the semester, started purging again, quit purging again, got depressed and attempted to restrict about 10 times.
I can’t do this anymore. Tomorrow’s sugar and alcohol hangovers are going to be brutal, so are the cravings, and all the remaining food and booze sitting in my fridge def don’t make it easier.
I need to stop self-harming. I still have dreams to fight for. 2018 is gonna be a better year.
TL;DR: bingy girl binged again and lowkey doesn’t want to live
[Help] Really Need Responses!!!
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Sun Dec 31 15:42:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nbj6p/really_need_responses/
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[removed]
[Discussion] reassurance?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 31 15:22:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nbfaq/reassurance/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I don't deserve food.
/u/spacekookiyo [5"4 | CW: the fat friend | -25 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 31 14:40:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nb73c/i_dont_deserve_food/
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Found out today that my ex and the girl he's been seeing have made it official. Super crushed since we left things open ended like there was a possibility of revisiting things once he worked on his own issues. And yes, she's skinnier than me. Great motivator that I don't deserve food because I don't deserve love.
Everyone is starting 2018 all positive and I'm over here like "I give up."
[Other] I want to see what others look like with similar stats
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Sun Dec 31 14:00:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nayue/i_want_to_see_what_others_look_like_with_similar/
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[removed]
[Discussion] [discussion] It’s been awhile since I've posted here, but I kinda relapsed.
/u/Goodmorningfatty [5'4" | CW: 120 | BMI: too big | WL: 25 | Fluid]
Created: Sun Dec 31 13:29:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7nasfz/discussion_its_been_awhile_since_ive_posted_here/
---
It really made me remember why I started my journey of recovery in the first place. The obsession, the time sink, the tiredness, all of it.. I’m not posting to tell others to recover. I just want to share.. I guess I caught myself in time. I’m back on track again.. now.. I’m fact I’m proud of myself and my recovery.. I want this.. but it was scary how easy and natural restriction felt.. I didn’t even consciously think about it.. it was just a slip.. like a safe dark hole.. that you are constantly skirting.. it’s kinda like that part of you never really goes away... and at any moment.. you could just.. fall in.. and youre so comfortable in the dark.. it feels like home.
[Rant/Rave] I'm done
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 57.5 kg | -26 kg | 22F]
Created: Sun Dec 31 12:24:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7naety/im_done/
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I want to cry right now. The only thing that's keeping me from doing it is the knowledge that I'll always start hyperventilating along with the crying and I still have to leave the house today.
What happend?
Knowing I would meet my friends and have cheese fondue for NYE today I thought of not eating until then. But I ended up already having consumed 550 cals by 2 am and I just kept eating. I think I already ate 3 days worth of cals. But that wasn't even the breaking point. I thought I could make it all up the following week with fasting and restricting <500.
BUT the car had to break down!
Well, as I went on my way to meet my friends the car broke down not even 10m away from my house. It was my mom's car since I don't have my own. It's most probably the steering wheel that broke and obviously that's beyond my control right? Mom is pissed but not at me and of course she didn't blame me since it wasn't my fault.
-> my stupid ass self still feels like I'm at fault and that makes me feel horrible.
And now my friend is even coming to pick me up and that's a 30 minute drive here and another 30 minutes back because I have no other way to get there. She's so unbelievable nice to me and I can only think that I don't deserve it.
I feel so ridiculously aweful and I'm done with everything. I just want to think like a normal person but I guess that's impossible?
I really hope that the sweethearts that managed to read this far have a better start into the new year.
[Help] Parents are forcing my recovery right as I’m relapsing
/u/feather__weight
Created: Sun Dec 31 12:05:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7naavz/parents_are_forcing_my_recovery_right_as_im/
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[removed]
[Help] need support
/u/sammythekitten [5'0" | 117.7lbs | 24.21 | 5 lbs | f]
Created: Sun Dec 31 11:43:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7na61i/need_support/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Pregnant and spiraling
/u/Fit4me123
Created: Sun Dec 31 11:28:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7na2oe/pregnant_and_spiraling/
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20 weeks into a very wanted and planned pregnancy and I’m breaking. I’ve been able to push my ED thoughts back until now because I know realistically I need to nourish my body to have a healthy baby but I’m cracking. This morning I grabbed my SOs phone to check our bank accounts because I wanted to do some budgeting before we went grocery shopping and ran some other errands today. I opened his phone and he must have fallen asleep looking at porn and forgot to close it. It’s not the porn I’m upset about, I really don’t care if he watches porn. I’m just fucking insecure and the subreddit he was looking at had nothing but stick thin women. I’m a fucking whale right now. I lost weight before getting pregnant but was still overweight and my net gain so far this pregnancy is only 6lbs but I know I’m huge. I just can’t help but feel disgusting. It’s 130 and I haven’t even eaten yet today. I can’t bring myself to put more food into my body. I know I’ll be fine if I don’t eat today because I’m already so overweight but eventually I’ll need to eat. My baby needs me to eat. I just feel like such shit. My boobs are so big I can only buy bras online, my back fat is fucking atrocious and my legs and face are so puffy. I’m just over this. I’m too embarrassed to even bring it up to him. I don’t know how I’m going to make it to the end of this pregnancy without losing my mind.
[Discussion] December 31st, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 31 11:15:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n9zy1/december_31st_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What is your most cherished memory from this year?
Happy new year everyone, I hope everybody can find some light in the past year, even though it may have been a dark time for some of you. I wish everyone the best in the year to come. ❤️
[Discussion] Other adults who should “know better”?
/u/PeacefulPines
Created: Sun Dec 31 11:02:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n9x0i/other_adults_who_should_know_better/
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I’m married, three kids, generally successful yet I’ve never kicked this mentality. Anyone else? It’s a bit frustrating, mostly disappointing.
I got better for a while, then I had my last child and gained weight. I tried to be “healthy” but apparently healthy just equals fat, and I can’t handle being seen as a fat person. I feel like anyone who meets me, who didn’t know me from before the last baby should see pics of me thin so that they KNOW I’m not a “fat person” how fucked is that?
Here I am again, almost 29, bronkaid on the way, full on zero calorie flavored water, caffeine pills and hydroxycut. It’s like I’m 13 again 😫
Anyone sadly in this club with me ?
[Goal] It’s 2018 here
/u/flightlesspotato [5'5 | CW: 123 | 20.3]
Created: Sun Dec 31 10:48:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n9u56/its_2018_here/
---
And I’m going to lose 22 pounds before I go to college in September.
What are your goals this year?
Edit: wow I only expected maybe 10 comments and I can’t reply to all of you but all the best to everyone in completing their goals!!
I’ve come up with a few more goals for myself too after getting inspired by everyone’s replies.
- Take N1 of the JLPT in July
- Pick up French or Spanish
- Resume learning Korean
- Brush up my Chinese
- Actually make friends in college and not hole myself up to rot
- Read all the books that are on my reading list
- Save up enough money to take a trip to Australia
[Help] I’ve gained weight?
/u/arandomnamebcimlazy [5’6| CW: 133| BMI: 21.5|-93| Female|]
Created: Sun Dec 31 10:38:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n9rwp/ive_gained_weight/
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[removed]
[Help] What are “safe foods”?
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 31 10:07:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n9lc9/what_are_safe_foods/
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I’m sorry if this is totally obvious, but I’m not sure what it means. Are they foods you can have in the house that you don’t think you’ll binge on? Or foods that you can eat that are low in calories (not for bingeing) or both? I see a lot of safe food comments and am not quite sure of the meaning. Thank youuuu!
[Help] I’ve been found out.
/u/carbslut
Created: Sun Dec 31 09:18:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n9apf/ive_been_found_out/
---
I have never mentioned ED to ANYONE. I just can’t talk about it. Even my husband doesn’t know. We work different schedules, so it’s honestly not hard to hide binges and easy to get away with straight up not eating for long stretches. It seems like every couple of years I gain or lose like 50-70 pounds. People just assume I’m a yo-yo dieter and congratulate me on weight loss.
I have this coworker that I always go to for life advice, dealing with my mom, and also nutrition and health issues because she’s really into that, but not in an insane way. She’s the type of person who worries about weird stuff in vaccines, but has her son vaccinated anyway because that’s obviously the best choice. She’s generally just very sane person and I trust the advice she gives me.
I’ve never mentioned my ED to her...not restricting or binging. I’ve gained a bit a weight back recently. Maybe 10 pounds, but I was very thin so I’m legitimately haven’t freaked out that much about it. She asked me to lunch. I declined because I was legitimately too busy and she said, “Are you back to not eating then?”
I was shocked. This is the first time in my 15+ years of this effed up relationship with food that anyone has said anything to me about it (other than weight loss compliments). Wtf. This woman is insightful as shit.
I went back to my office and shed a few tears. Not like crazy crying, but I couldn’t help it. I don’t know if I was upset because she figured me out or happy that someone finally did.
[Rant/Rave] Wtf aunt flow?!
/u/light_as_a_feather04 [5'6 | 106 | 17.0 | GW: 98| 34/F]
Created: Sun Dec 31 08:59:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n96sk/wtf_aunt_flow/
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So last month I didn’t get my period. I thought it was due to weight loss but nope. She’s here today 😩. My mother said she’s surprised I still get my period... why can’t this bitch leave me alone?
Of course in my fucked up head, I’m thinking “I’m not sick enough or thin enough”
Add me on peach @“light_as_feather04”
Edit: On Mobile. Please flair as rant
[Rant/Rave] "If you lose weight healthily.... like you've been,"
/u/Fatalope [5'4| CW 150 | GW 104 |HW 168 | 19 F]
Created: Sun Dec 31 08:43:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n93l9/if_you_lose_weight_healthily_like_youve_been/
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Which one do you want? Me to lose weight in a healthy way? Or like I've been? Cause I'm leaning towards like I've been which... isn't healthy in the slightest.
My fiancee can be so dense. I was looking at pinup swimsuits, the ones that have high wasted bottoms which hides my stomach that just won't dissapear. And he springs that on me. 😧
[Rant/Rave] For the New Year...
/u/dahee3697 [154cm | CW: 58.9 | GW: 52 | F | 19]
Created: Sun Dec 31 08:28:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n90rg/for_the_new_year/
---
Trying to eat healthier for the new year. I'm not gonna give myself today to let myself go and binge just because "I'll start fresh tomorrow, it's January 1st." Which I've done in the past and just made it harder for me. I want to get better. I want to lose weight and achieve my body goals the healthy way. I want to eat enough calories and exercise and have my shit together, not be thinking about this eating disorder bullshit all the time. I don't want to feel weak and tired all the time or have my hair falling out and nails breaking constantly or make it hard on myself to be in social settings just because food is involved. I'm so tired of it all. Whether or not your goal is the road to recovery or to continue with their weight loss plans, I wish everyone love, safety and the best in the new year in whatever their endeavor may be! Bless you all!
[Rant/Rave] Restriction is all I (don't) have
/u/Diamondwrists
Created: Sun Dec 31 07:39:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n8rq8/restriction_is_all_i_dont_have/
---
Hi guys. Well, I think it's safe to say that I'm fully relapsed. Went from a BMI of 22 to 19 in a semester and I'm now, somehow after the holiday, slightly underweight (5'4", 107 lbs). Unfortunately, I can't stop losing. I eat one meal a day, and some nibbling, and average around 1000-1200 while being active on the side. I love my thinness-- I've reached my aesthetic goals. But I can't stop. For some reason it's not enough. I guess now my "recovery " is alternating restriction with some moderately high intake once a week to balance it out. But I also want to lose MORE. My doctor is monitoring me, though, so its like???
I have severe OCD. I was recently hospitalized because I was worrying so much about something happening and doing the wrong thing I figured I might as well die. I almost OD'd on barbiturates and sleeping pills. Hospitalization did nothing because I was panicking the entire time and they just treated me like a criminal. I'm on medication for anxiety that isn't even working but I'm not worried about weight gain because I'm not even eating anything on it.
My mom took [these](https://imgur.com/a/WOwBj) pictures of me the other day and told me to never gain weight. I don't think she realizes I'm underweight. I don't think anyone realizes how sick I am because all they can do is congratulate me on my weight loss.
So I'll continue to be fragile and chronically anemic and faint upon standing. Because nothing else works. Only when I restrict do I feel ease and control, because I can't control anything else.
[Rant/Rave] I redownloaded myfitnesspal
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: prob 137, afraid of scale | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26F]
Created: Sun Dec 31 07:29:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n8q35/i_redownloaded_myfitnesspal/
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And with my post-Christmas binge, mid-shark week weight of 139.6 this morning, I have still lost 1.2 pounds this month.
The way I’m trying to look at it is, I lost weight. During December. During the hardest time of the year to lose weight. Most normal people gain 5-10 pounds in December, and I’m even on day 3 of my period, so I know 139.6 isn’t totally real.
I am telling myself this so that I can be okay with it. It’s 3 pounds higher than I was before Christmas, but it’s down overall for the month and that’s a good thing.
[Discussion] what are your cheapest safe foods?
/u/mazzy___ [5'9" | 150 | 21.75 | GW: 120 | UGW: 110]
Created: Sun Dec 31 07:08:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n8mrl/what_are_your_cheapest_safe_foods/
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me🐳irl
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 31 06:33:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n8hh1/meirl/
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https://i.redd.it/09aljbdw09701.jpg
[Discussion] Youtube accounts to follow?
/u/321Model [5'4| CW: 190 | GW: 150 | 30's/F]
Created: Sun Dec 31 06:04:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n8dck/youtube_accounts_to_follow/
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I just started following Christie Unger thanks to this sub. She's fabulous! Any other recommendations?
[Goal] No goal weight
/u/Lamicia
Created: Sun Dec 31 05:34:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n89lp/no_goal_weight/
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Hey guys,
I've been lurking this subreddit for quite a while now and I would like to ask you something.
Does anyone else doesn't have a gw? I started last year to loose a little bit of weight from 59 kg to get to my gw of 55 kg. Today I was at 48 kg and actually I don't know where I wanna be or at what weight I gonna stop my journey. I keep telling myself that I just want to maintain this weight but whenever the scale drops I'm so fucking Happy that I don't stop at all 😣 I don't know why I keep loosing because I'm now quite okay with my body and I am at my lowest adult weight ever (all in all I did lose around 30 kg to my highest weight)
Just wondering if someone else doesn't have a real 'goal'.
Anybody go from about 150 lb to 100 lb ?
/u/glossboy
Created: Sun Dec 31 05:18:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n87qd/anybody_go_from_about_150_lb_to_100_lb/
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[removed]
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! December 31, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Dec 31 05:11:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n86xw/daily_food_diary_december_31_2017/
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This is a daily food diary thread for December 31, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your latest grocery+food hauls!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Dec 31 05:10:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n86u4/sunday_share_your_latest_groceryfood_hauls/
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Feel welcome to post pics of your latest and greatest hauls~! Consider adding commentary on:
* what country you're in
* what store, site, market or Co-op you shopped at
* how much you spent or any sweet deals you found
[Rant/Rave] 60lbs gone since October, not good enough but it's something at least and I've proved to myself I CAN do it if I really want to
/u/applesforhungry
Created: Sun Dec 31 04:19:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n80xy/60lbs_gone_since_october_not_good_enough_but_its/
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https://i.redd.it/aunexit7s8701.jpg
[Discussion] What is your formula for your best body?
/u/aggressivedoughnut
Created: Sun Dec 31 03:09:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n7t6d/what_is_your_formula_for_your_best_body/
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[removed]
[Other] Here's to 2017 and all the other years that made us feel less than
/u/charredsouls
Created: Sun Dec 31 03:08:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n7t2i/heres_to_2017_and_all_the_other_years_that_made/
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***I try so hard to avoid reading this sub because I'm in the process of recovery and I can relate all-too-well with the real pain of EDs that surfaces here. Despite this, I am drawn back to using it as an outlet to heal and hopefully find peace within myself. You all are so brave and, more powerfully, so honest. I wrote this when I was reflecting back on the year 2017. I hope you can relate.***
I piece together my tattered soul. I have given everything and nothing all at once, simultaneously trying too hard and too little. This was not always the world I knew. Ignorance used to be my unsung friend, protecting me from the ravishes of adulthood.
Now I look in the mirror and see two versions of myself: my past and my future. I can see the pain and experience etched into my furrowed brow, and I can see so clearly the person I aspire to be. But, both my eyes and my soul lack the ability to perceive my present. Acknowledging my present means I have to face what I am: weak, flawed, and, most painfully, human.
2017 was the year I realized I had a problem. Here's to moving on from this year that was so painful for so many of us. Whether that pain emanated from turbulent politics, broken familial relationships, or inner struggles, I look forward to a 2018 that isn't necessarily perfect but better. We get to decide what that 'better' is.
"And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good." - John Steinbeck
[Rant/Rave] I just shared my eating disorder past with my bf
/u/cocochaichai
Created: Sun Dec 31 02:06:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n7lwx/i_just_shared_my_eating_disorder_past_with_my_bf/
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I’ve only shared it with one other person and that was my best friend like four years ago. I only told him because I trust him so fucking much and I love him. He was the first guy I ever had sex with which was a big deal for me because of all of my insecurities. He wasn’t a virgin which I didn’t mind, he told me he had sex with his last girlfriend, that was it. One person. Well his best friend is back in town right now and apparently they were talking and his friend asked if he had told me about the girl he hooked up with while drunk this summer before we started dating. He claims he had totally forgotten until his friend brought it up. He told me tonight and I just feel so hurt and lied to. I just trusted him with the biggest secret in my life and he lied to me about how many people he’s had sex with. I love him so much and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I should end things or not. I don’t want to throw away something that’s so special to me. But I also don’t know if I can ever trust him after this.
Thanks for listening I just didn’t know who else to talk to about this...
[Discussion] DAE feel like they're wasting their life if they're not losing
/u/carlisam9797 [5'2" 19F | CW 119 | SW 130 | GW 105 | UGW 99]
Created: Sun Dec 31 02:00:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n7lac/dae_feel_like_theyre_wasting_their_life_if_theyre/
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2018 will be the year I turn 20 and I'm scared shitless. I don't want to waste a minute of it weighing a pound over 105. every time I settle at a normal weight (me now) I freak out at the thought that one day, even if I do lose the weight I've been dreaming of for nearly a decade, i will be too old for it to really matter. I'm hard wired to this idea that my 20s will be the peak of my young adult life, the time when I attend the most parties, the time when I travel the world taking photos, the time when men shower me with gifts, the time when I attract my husband, the time when I apply for law school and my first jobs. The 9 months between now and September are essentially my last chance to lose this weight (and not immediately fucking gain it back) before I'm officially wasting the best years of my life.
This Will Probably Stick With Me For A Long Damn Time [TW: Suicide Idealization]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 31 01:55:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n7kp9/this_will_probably_stick_with_me_for_a_long_damn/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Does anyone take diet pills? If so, what are they and do they help?
/u/hollowedheart_
Created: Sun Dec 31 01:35:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n7icv/does_anyone_take_diet_pills_if_so_what_are_they/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Mini Rant about my Meds
/u/Vintagesadgirl
Created: Sat Dec 30 23:45:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n7450/mini_rant_about_my_meds/
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Hello all. This is my first post here (or anywhere). I really need to share my frustration with someone and I can only share so much with friends and family before they start to worry about it.
First, some backstory. I'm 5'6 (don't know how to do the info flair) and currently 136 pounds. I had been down to 114 this summer with a goal of 100 by the end of the year. I was making good progress until my depression meds changed. I started gaining instantly. I also started craving, as Carrie Fisher once said "Salad...Chocolate. Salad". It's made a big impact on my psyche. It's much harder to say no to food than it was before. I feel so big all the time. I don't really know what I hope to gain from this. Support? Something like that, I guess. I'm going to start logging my calories here daily to keep me accountable. Thanks for lending an ear.
[Help] Tips on how to dress for layers and still look cute?
/u/finnkat
Created: Sat Dec 30 23:36:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n72uj/tips_on_how_to_dress_for_layers_and_still_look/
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I can't seem to layer clothes and be warm enough without looking bulky and gross. I'm ok with wearing long socks + leggings + sweatpants on bottom, but whenever I layer my tops it's a disaster. I already have broad shoulders and a broad torso so even without clothes I look unproportionatly huge on top and it's 10x worse when i add bulky clothes or multiple layers. Do you guys have any tips or inspiration for warm winter looks that won't make me look gross?
[Rant/Rave] Binged again
/u/runjumpflip [5'3 | CW 110 | 19.5 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 30 23:30:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n722n/binged_again/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend said he's noticed I've "gained a bit of weight".
/u/candywife_ [5'6 | sw: 150 | gw: 100]
Created: Sat Dec 30 23:18:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n709a/boyfriend_said_hes_noticed_ive_gained_a_bit_of/
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I don't want to demonize him, I kind of just kept whittling it out of him tonight because it's been a bad holiday season and I've been stressed. I kind of almost wanted to hear him say it, I don't know. He told me he "didn't mind it" (kill me now) and that I'm still his ideal. But fuckkkkk. And although I'm not mad at him, and it's obviously something I know (I weigh myself relentlessly), I can't help feeling like utter fucking shit. I feel so low. We're supposed to go out for NYE with friends and all I'm going to be thinking about is how much of a cow I look.
[Rant/Rave] Anyone else ruin everything over Christmas?
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Sat Dec 30 22:52:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n6w5x/anyone_else_ruin_everything_over_christmas/
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I'm spiralling. I'm constantly craving food and sugar. Everytime I pass myself in the mirror I look like a swallowed a balloon. Before Christmas I was starting to look great. Cute little thigh gap going...now I look like I'm 3 months pregnant...which it adds insult to injury.
I didn't calorie count over Christmas so I don't even know if how I feel is justified. Did I eat horribly? Do I even understand what is a horrible amount of food anymore?
Why can't I fast anymore? 😱😱😱
[Rant/Rave] Lazy review: Vegan Oatmeal Cookie Halo Top
/u/Tinytidy
Created: Sat Dec 30 22:32:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n6t9g/lazy_review_vegan_oatmeal_cookie_halo_top/
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Okay, so I ate this like weeks ago but kept putting off reviewing it here cause I wanted to write out something nice and thoughtful.
But I'm never gonna do that so here's this instead.
Buy Vegan Oatmeal Cookie Halo Top.
It's really good. Way better than the Sea Salt Caramel or Peanut Butter Cup.
[Rant/Rave] Trying to find a cocktail dress that doesn’t make me look like an envelope or a preteen
/u/penny2cents [5'11" | 115.6 lbs | 16.1 BMI | F]
Created: Sat Dec 30 22:02:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n6oam/trying_to_find_a_cocktail_dress_that_doesnt_make/
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Not sure what to flair, either rant or advice, I guess.
I have a fancy (legit fancy, the guy is a fucking billionaire) cocktail party to go to tomorrow night. Unfortunately, I can’t seem to find dresses that fit me properly? I’m tall af and a size 00-0 in most stores. I’ve tried all the big department stores, plus Ann Taylor and a few other shops, but I can’t seem to find any dresses for thin women that don’t make me look like a rectangle. When y’all need legit nice clothes, where do you go? I don’t want to look like a kid trying on my mums dresses, but a lot of the other options are WAAAAAY short and I end up looking like a skank.
Honestly, I don’t know where else to post this because I don’t need/want people telling me to gain weight or something.
[Rant/Rave] New and exciting ways to feel guilty about eating
/u/Strawberry2point0 [5'8" | CW: 159 lbs | GW: 120 lbs | 21M]
Created: Sat Dec 30 20:29:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n67j9/new_and_exciting_ways_to_feel_guilty_about_eating/
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Storytime, I guess!
Today was supposed to be a nice bit of family bonding over the holidays, with my mother and I going out to the mall together. We both got new glasses frames from a fancy place that gave us individual "goody bags" with glass cleaner, cloths, etc. - they also informed us that each bag came with a handful of candy. My thoughts are, well, I could do without the calories. But fuck it, it's almost the new year, I won't be harsh on myself!
The store calls my mother after we've paid, left, and are shopping in a different area of the mall; apparently they'd rung up her charge incorrectly, and they needed her to come back so they could fix it. No big deal. She heads back there while I keep shopping. We had multiple bags at this point, so she took both of our bags from the glasses store, while I hold onto our other stuff.
We finish shopping, get home, and I take my glasses-store-bag into my room. The handful of candy they put in there was pretty generous; there's two mini reeses cups, two mini butterfingers, and a peppermint truffle. I eat them without too much angsting because, hey, I haven't had breakfast or lunch. Yay.
Then things get weird. A few minutes later my mom demands to know if I ate 'her candy.' Apparently, when she went back to the store, she took a bunch of extra candy from the bowl on the counter and stuffed it into *my* bag. When I explained that yeah, I ate the candy that was in my bag, she proceeded to whine and yell. (She throws tantrums about 80% of things, so this isn't new, but it's always unpleasant.) After all, I should have *known* it was her candy, reeses are *her* favorite!
It sounds stupid and ridiculous when I write it out, but dammit, for once I enjoyed eating a bit of junk food without guilt. And then that had to go and be robbed from me, too. :/
[Other] [HUMOUR] When you're out of food to eat - The Choice Between Eating Old Cake Or Anxiety
/u/Cheskaz [5'8 | CW 148lbs | GW 110lbs]
Created: Sat Dec 30 19:54:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n618a/humour_when_youre_out_of_food_to_eat_the_choice/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MoJejtxG-0Q
[Help] How do you subsist on very low calorie diets?
/u/itzybitzysodapop [5'2|CW:134|GW:98|HW:158|19F]
Created: Sat Dec 30 19:54:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n6167/how_do_you_subsist_on_very_low_calorie_diets/
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[removed]
[Other] When you're out of food to binge: "The Choice Between Eating Old Cake Or Anxiety"
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Dec 30 19:53:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n610b/when_youre_out_of_food_to_binge_the_choice/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MoJejtxG-0Q
[Rant/Rave] Told myself I wouldn’t worry about what I ate tonight...
/u/supemery
Created: Sat Dec 30 19:44:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n5zg5/told_myself_i_wouldnt_worry_about_what_i_ate/
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While at dinner at chili’s, I told myself I would forget about keto and calorie restriction and everything and ate a delicious, but obnoxiously calorie filled meal. I thought, you know just like everyone has said I can work this off within a week or so. And so worry free, it made me SO HAPPY to eat and be full! I didn’t feel bad at all. So I went grocery shopping after and treated myself with a peppermint mocha from Starbucks, still feeling good. I was having a lot of fun with my partner tonight, but then I said I wanted to buy pie and we got in a fight. At dinner he told me he missed eating with me and he wanted to go back to the way things were when we first started dating (when I was binging 3000+ calories everyday), but then at the store he said I should buy my low cal/keto foods, then he said that pie wasn’t on the list and that I shouldn’t have pie, BUT THEN said that I can do whatever I want (of course with a snotty tone) and THEN said that I can make bad choices. I feel like I get conflicting messages from him and now I feel even worse about binging because we got in a fight over it. UGH. He was like, “do you have to be so extreme with everything? Can’t you just eat in moderation?”—talking about the calorie restriction/binging cycle that I do. And it’s like NO I HAVE A PROBLEM WHY CANT YOU SEE THAT. Blahhhhh, now I’m in a shitty mood and I don’t even want the fucking pie or to eat ever again.
[Rant/Rave] Thigh Progress
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Dec 30 19:30:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n5wyo/thigh_progress/
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https://i.redd.it/wkjfbd3w56701.jpg
[Other] am i fat because i hate myself or do i hate myself because i’m fat?
/u/ScrunchiesandDraino [5’8” |cw:247 |-28lbs |20F]
Created: Sat Dec 30 19:26:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n5w48/am_i_fat_because_i_hate_myself_or_do_i_hate/
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[removed]
[Discussion] What are your favourite low calorie vegetarian/vegan recipes, apps, accounts and websites?
/u/cloudsofdawn [169cm - 5'6.5' | CW: 119.9lbs | 19.1 BMI | -23lbs | F]
Created: Sat Dec 30 19:20:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n5v5p/what_are_your_favourite_low_calorie/
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In the new year, I’m looking to start eating mainly vegan/vegetarian, and ease into that lifestyle. I will consume fish/dairy/possibly other meat 2 days out of 7 per week, and the rest will be plant based.
What are some good low calorie recipes, apps with low cal recipes and websites, YouTube channels or instagrams or any other forms of getting recipes that you guys recommend?
Thanks!
[Rant/Rave] If I don’t get help I’m going to lose everything that’s important to me
/u/oneblueboot [5' 7.5" | CW 122 lbs | GW 112 | 18.8 | 26 F]
Created: Sat Dec 30 19:18:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n5uru/if_i_dont_get_help_im_going_to_lose_everything/
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I lost 20 pounds in a month. I’m about five pounds away from being underweight, and I can already tell that I’m making myself really sick. I have no energy. I can’t sleep. My heart alternates between racing palpitations and pulsing along weakly at 50 beats a minute. My skin is sallow and my eyes are always puffy and my hair is dry as straw and I am SO. FUCKING. COLD. all the damn time.
If I don’t stop, I’m going to put myself in the hospital sooner or later. My boyfriend is well on his way of being thoroughly done with my shit, and I feel like a hospitalization would push him over the edge of realizing that it’s not his job to deal with a convalescent, much less one who’s only dying because she’s choosing to. I would have to take a leave from school for a year before being able to resume the didactic coursework, and who knows how well I’d be able to maintain the knowledge I’ve already worked so fucking hard to acquire. I’d have to move back home with my parents, who would end up needing to pay for treatment totally out pocket once I lose my school insurance. My life as I know it would completely disappear.
So cheers to destroying it all for the sake of destroying myself. Or cheers to dying. Whichever happens first.
[Rant/Rave] Not feeling like myself
/u/r0separade [5'5" | CW 112| GW 108 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 30 18:50:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n5pff/not_feeling_like_myself/
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I gained 8 lbs over the past few weeks.
I'm so incredibly bummed. I was a little under my flair weight at the beginning of the month, and my period skipped out on me for the first time since I was a young teenager (a success I can’t even relish in because I’m fat now).
Over the holidays, my eating behaviors were put on hold and everything is messed up now -- my routine, my weight/body, my progress, my appetite. The worst part is that I was starting to feel more comfortable with myself, and now I don’t feel like myself at all. It’s like the bigger I am, the less “me” I am.
I still have family in town so it's been hard to get back into my routine. Wish I could have a month completely alone.
YouTube selecting ED related material??
/u/Sweetparamour2 [171cm | 56kg | 19bmi | 3kg | Female]
Created: Sat Dec 30 18:42:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n5o23/youtube_selecting_ed_related_material/
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So I follow this group and post however this is the only place I ever look at pro ed materials and I am very very cautious to ensure my partner doesn't know.
However my YouTube account (also connected to my household computer) has started adding Proed materials to my suggestion list!
Has anyone experienced this?
I can't purge anymore?
/u/sinflowrr [16F/5'6/CW:117/GW:100]
Created: Sat Dec 30 18:34:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n5mgm/i_cant_purge_anymore/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Why does every minor disappointment in my life have to affect me this much?
/u/rainingdeath [1.77m | 54.1 kg + 1000 | 16.87 +1000 | -21.9 kg + 1000 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 30 17:38:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n5bod/why_does_every_minor_disappointment_in_my_life/
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Ugh. Guys. Why am I so dramatic.
Like a guy for 1 day.
Go to party where he's also supposed to be.
Don't see him for a lonnng time (like, an hour). I am way too focused on this, holy shit.
Am just dancing with random people.
Suddenly see him around the corner. He's looking. Heart skips a beat. Was he looking for me?
Finish my dance, go look for him around the corner. Don't see him anymore.
I continue going about my business.
Later that night I see him talk to another girl.
He's been talking to her for a whiiiile tonight. I walked past a few times.
Finally run into him, but he's just leaving the dance floor.
Says hi. He's still with girl. Says we'll have to catch a dance later, he's just going for a drink.
Now on toilet having a small breakdown and writing this.
Want to go home and cry and binge or something. She's skinnier than me too. :( I know that should be a reason for me NOT to eat, but god damn. I don't know how to deal with emotions like a normal human being.
Guys. Why am I like this. This is ridiculous. I barely know this guy. And yet it affects me so strongly. Whyyyy.
Sorry about this post, it doesn't have so much to do with EDs I guess, I just didn't know where else I could vent. :( Sorry if it breaks any rules. :(
**UPDATE**: IT ALL TURNED OUT ALRIGHT IN THE END. When I saw him standing on the sidelines for a moment, I went up and asked him for a dance. Just as we started dancing, someone announced the slow dancing competition was about to start. And then he asked me if I wanted to enter the competition with him! <3
So we did, and we practiced our blues dancing for a while, danced some lindy hop in between, hung out talking for a bit, waiting for the competition to start. We were out after like a song and a half because we're shitty blues dancers, but I don't care!
DAY FIXED. 🎉
[Discussion] Who else is having a mental battle deciding whether to gorge themselves tomorrow 'to start fresh' for the new year?
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW: 139.0 | UGW 105 | 25/F]
Created: Sat Dec 30 16:53:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n51o8/who_else_is_having_a_mental_battle_deciding/
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I love when the New Year starts on a Monday. It's a wonderful and tidy thing. I'm ready for the new year and have lots of goals I want to reach.
But I'm falling into that stupid trap of 'better eat it now since I won't eat it in 2018'. Enjoy (read gorge) myself tomorrow or continue to restrict?
I haven't eaten anything today except gummy vitamins and I'm not hungry yet. Tomorrow will be a different story. Calculating all the things I want to eat is still under 2500 cals. If I don't eat today, that averages 1400 each for Saturday and Sunday, below my TDEE. Can you hear me convincing myself as a type?
I ideally would like to wake up feeling fresh on Monday and not have a food hangover. So maybe indulge a bit tonight, fast tomorrow, and wake up nice on Monday? Fuck all this sometimes.
[Rant/Rave] Father-in-law ordered 12 lbs of See's Candies *cries*
/u/ParanoidPancreas [5'11" | CW 149.4 | GW 148 | UGW 138 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 30 16:48:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n50iv/fatherinlaw_ordered_12_lbs_of_sees_candies_cries/
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I live with him... the boxes have been scattered around to various rooms in the house and I can't stop eating them. I want to die :))))
[Intro] A quick intro
/u/tegelstensfika [Height: 156 cm | CW: 44 kg | BMI: 18 | Lost weight: 10 kg | F]
Created: Sat Dec 30 16:34:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n4xra/a_quick_intro/
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Hello,
I’ve been lurking in here for a while now and have only posted very few times myself.
My story isn’t very interesting, I had no problems a year ago but after the summer it all went downhill and I lost around 10 kgs in 3 months. This made my parents very worried and they brought me to an eating disorder clinic and I got diagnosed with OSFED. Since then my life has revolved around this hell.
Other than having an eating disorder I play tennis and lurk around on the Internet, in order to find stupid and depressing shit I can laugh about to drown my misery :))
I think that is all that’s interesting about me
[Discussion] Radiohead Creep
/u/Satrina_petrova [H5'2|CW109lbs|GW101|29F]
Created: Sat Dec 30 16:33:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n4xi4/radiohead_creep/
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It's very relatable and semi-triggering.
These lines specifically.
"I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul"
Although the whole song is easy read too much into.
[Help] help!!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Dec 30 16:30:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n4wzc/help/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n4wzc/help/
[Rant/Rave] My husband might be moving to another state for a month, and I don't know how I feel
/u/then_she_said [5'7 | -58 | 27F | UGW: 130]
Created: Sat Dec 30 16:21:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n4v3y/my_husband_might_be_moving_to_another_state_for_a/
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So my husband might be moving halfway across the country to train with his cousin at a brewery, which is basically his dream job. I am so 100% behind him doing this, because I want him to be happy, and his current job in retail management is AWFUL. There are two breweries opening near us next year, and I know that the experience would give him a huge leg up in the interview process.
I think about him being gone for an entire month and having to take care of the house by myself, and I'm kind of excited because I haven't lived on my own in over 3 years. I'm also excited because it will be so much easier to b/p to my heart's content, like no one here to judge me, no hiding fast food wrappers, no having him come home from a long day at the store and me having to try and pretend like I wasn't just scrubbing the toilet to get rid of the puke splatters. It's so much easier to work out when he's not at home, and we also definitely enable each other on the weekends to binge and drink too much.
But then my anxiety kicks in, and I start thinking about what would happen if he died out there in a car crash or something, or what if I fall into some super alcoholic tendencies and don't actually do anything productive while he's gone. What if I really spiral with my ED and he comes back and I can't control it. He's been at work all day, and [this has been my day](https://imgur.com/a/bL72Z)- spot where I masturbated, and spot where I caved and b/p'ed. And I miss him, even just with him being at work. I haven't cleaned, I haven't worked out, I've just been hungover on the couch watching iZombie and using the snow as an excuse to not leave the house.
I swing back and forth between being excited to have a month of 'me' time, and then feeling horribly guilty about that and so anxious that something will happen to him or to me while we're apart. I don't even know really what I want to hear, I just wanted to share. No other community out there would understand how shitty the emotional roller coaster can be of "I can't wait to be able to eat 50,000 calories and purge without anyone hearing me" and then the subsequent guilt and shame and fear and loneliness of that feeling.
[Other] Just purged for the first time. Fuck
/u/fluffyfinaland [5'6"| CW 151.8 | GW 120 | -20.2 | 21F]
Created: Sat Dec 30 16:17:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n4uex/just_purged_for_the_first_time_fuck/
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Have been bingeing so much during the holiday season and we're at another family Christmas thing right now and I've been snacking so much today... my stomach started to hurt from being so full and I was feeling guilty and next thing I knew I was hunched over the toilet throwing up. I can NEVER make myself throw up (frustrating when sick or hungover) but somehow I was able to today. I could have done more but was worried about getting caught. I do noooot want to make this a habit. Back to restricting tomorrow!
[Other] I'm actually a stereotype lmao
/u/runjumpflip [5'3 | CW 110 | 19.5 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 30 16:05:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n4rvl/im_actually_a_stereotype_lmao/
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https://i.redd.it/4vlkfjuc55701.jpg
[Rant/Rave] This world is not for me
/u/NIN_88 [5'3 | SW: 128 | CW: 104 | GW:88 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 30 16:02:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n4ra1/this_world_is_not_for_me/
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So as usual, I was looking through some pics of clothes/outfits online. Usually I look for sundresses and swimsuits bc summer is my favorite season, aaaaand of course, the model is always thin. 😔
And I don't mean "normal thin" or whatever, I mean sub-18 BMI, underweight-thin.
I don't think it would necesarry be better if the models were overweight or anything like that, but maybe, just maybe, someone like me would feel slightly better if they were at least normal weight. By that I mean BMI of 21, c'mon.
But no, it's my fault I don't look like that. It's my fault that my SW/HW is normal weight. It's my fault I was born in a family who constantly overfed me. It's my fault because I'm not trying hard enough. It's my fault that I gain all my fat in my abdomen. It's my fault I'm short and have a lower BMR. It's my damn fault for liking goddamn food!
The world is not meant for people like me. The world demands girls to be underweight and those who aren't need to push harder because the only purpose a woman has is to be thin and pretty, apparently. Why else are ALL of those models thin?!?
Like idk, it just feels like the world always pushes me down. Idk what I want. I sometimes wish I was born a boy bc boys don't care about appearance.
There are so many things I forgot to say while writing this and I wrote this is a rush, so maybe I'll add more rants into this huge pile of rants. And I know this rant doesn't really make sense, I'm really tired rn.
[Rant/Rave] New year rant and rave
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Dec 30 15:15:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n4har/new_year_rant_and_rave/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Small victories
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 |SW.156 |CW.137 |GW.120 |23.07 |F]
Created: Sat Dec 30 15:03:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n4es0/small_victories/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Halo Top ice cream is what gets me up in the morning !
/u/Brizyse [5'5"|CW:Too Many|UGW:115|17F]
Created: Sat Dec 30 14:52:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n4cdc/halo_top_ice_cream_is_what_gets_me_up_in_the/
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Every flavour I've tried so far has been great, but last night I bought the Mochi Green Tea one and I'm living!!!! There's actually pieces of Mochi in it! I've only tried four flavours so if anyone has any recommendations I'd love to hear them:)
[Rant/Rave] Mini vent
/u/skinnifat [5'4" | CW: 106 | GW: idk | F]
Created: Sat Dec 30 14:14:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n44gc/mini_vent/
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Came here to get my thoughts out of my head. I’ve probably made and read similar posts plenty of times. I usually vent to my boyfriend as he’s the only one who knows about my problems and so understanding but he’s on a plane on his way to Australia right now and I don’t wanna worry him.
I’m trying to be good. I’m trying to be healthy. I’m trying to eat more because eating ~500 calories a day was destroying my brain and my body.
Anyway, it’s 4 pm, all I’ve had is a small breakfast. My parents want to go out to dinner later and I was thinking about going with them. I was measuring out some broccoli and my mom has to say “you’re cooking? I thought you were going to dinner with us?” IM SORRY I WANTED TO EAT 35 FUCKING CALORIES OF DAMN BROCCOLI A FEW HOURS BEFORE DINNER HOLY FUCKING SHIT.
Fuck everyone. Fuck this entire fat ass fucking country for always having to put their damn two cents in when anyone even looks at a piece of food no matter what it is.
I’m sorry but I needed to get that out. I was doing so good. But shit like that just really fucking gets to me.
Edit: I guess that wasn’t so mini. Also, thank god for this community and all of you for making this a safe place to say things like this <3
My kind of success
/u/tortaway [i dont even know anymore]
Created: Sat Dec 30 14:04:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n42ah/my_kind_of_success/
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https://imgur.com/D2bbouR
[Rant/Rave] Haven't been restricting and I'm feeling conflicted/confused
/u/skyofAuroras [5'10"| CW: 126| GW: maintaining|19F]
Created: Sat Dec 30 14:02:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n41z1/havent_been_restricting_and_im_feeling/
---
The last few days have been ok. Well ok for eating anyway. I haven't restricted or binged in a while and I'm eating what I guess is a normal amount. It's so weird though. I still have bad thoughts about my appearance and weight. I still look at myself and think I look fat and I still hate a lot about my looks. I don't act upon these thoughts though. I'm feeling so confused and conflicted. I don't want the stress of restricting and trying to lose weight, but I'm also terrified of gaining. I know that no matter how skinny I am there are still aspects of my body that I will always hate, and yet I still want to lose. I still want that feeling of control and accomplishment from successfully losing weight. For now I'm trying to maintain until I figure out what to do. But even maintaining feels weird to me. Uuuggggh I don't even know anymore. I fear one of these days I'm going to have a massive binge and I'll spiral down. Sorry if I'm not making a lot of sense, I'm just so fucking confused and I needed to rant.
[Other] If my eating disorder is the result of societal standards, why don't I do anything else that's supposedly to 'societal standards'?
/u/circa90melancholy
Created: Sat Dec 30 13:21:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n3t4z/if_my_eating_disorder_is_the_result_of_societal/
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There's little else I do that would suggest what I do is for society or as a result of the standards society has. There are other ways to destroy that stereotype, I think, better ways even, it may simply be a moot point I had, but I fit no other American beauty standard and have attempted to fit no other beauty standard. In many ways, I'm *barely* stereotypically feminine.
I don't wear any makeup, carry purses, wear heels, or wear dresses or skirts. I don't straighten my hair or tan - I also *can't*, but spray-tan's a thing and I don't use it. The things I do are often considered "boy" things, or are male-dominated, like my hobbies, like gaming. Most of my favorite games are FPS games, too.
Yet starving myself is for or related to society? Why don't I do anything else to myself that would fit "society's rules" in the same way?
[Discussion] Gaining muscle while losing?
/u/imsorryigotmadatyou [5'1" | 118 | 23 |0 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 30 13:08:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n3qay/gaining_muscle_while_losing/
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Hey y'all so I recently gained back way too much weight, and want to lose it again. I also want to be toned, though. Is it possible to gain muscle mass while heavily/moderately restricting? And is it possible to be toned and underweight? If you have any advice please lmk
I can’t leave the house anymore.
/u/cryingmostthetime
Created: Sat Dec 30 12:52:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n3mxu/i_cant_leave_the_house_anymore/
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[removed]
[Tip] PSA: Breyers Delights now available in the UK
/u/user9248029
Created: Sat Dec 30 12:38:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n3jvw/psa_breyers_delights_now_available_in_the_uk/
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Scheduled for January release, but I just spotted vanilla, chocolate, and cookies & cream at Tesco
[Help] DA here have more shows like my 600 lb life?
/u/QuietCanadian9
Created: Sat Dec 30 12:15:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n3eqh/da_here_have_more_shows_like_my_600_lb_life/
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(Sorry Mods I don't know how to flair...)
So I know I shouldn't like these shows but honestly I'm addicted to the fasting it gives me? After I see shows like that especially where people don't make it, it makes me so afraid that I'm there and I do a long fast and panic over being too big to be skinny ever again. I don't hate fat people because of it, or anything like that.
I used to see this show floating around the internet of two people being sent to adult kind of "fat camp"? Every episode was two different people, and they either made it, or they didn't do anything and they stayed fat. Anything fat logic-y or seeing people eat tons of food and bemoan that they can't get skinny...
I know this is really bad, and it's terrible of me to seek these things out but I don't mean to be rude. I just want something like my 600lb life and at this point I could recite those episodes off by heart...
Mods if this type of post isn't okay I'll take it down, I'm not great at posting my own topics.
How do you get through shark week w/o wanting to die
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: prob 137, afraid of scale | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26F]
Created: Sat Dec 30 11:40:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n36xn/how_do_you_get_through_shark_week_wo_wanting_to/
---
I literally feel like a beached whale. Obviously I’m not touching the scale but I genuinely feel like I would weigh 10 pounds heavier if I stepped on it right now and I’ve had a good week of staying under my BMR. Why do I feel like this? I know the answer is obviously “you have your period” but when is it going to leeeeeeave I don’t want to shower or put any of my clothes on because I know I will hate myself in anything right now. And on top of that I’m so hungry I’ve already had like 450 calories today and it’s only 1:40.
How do you get through your period without hating yourself the entire time? Any tips on lessening the bloat? Anything at al?
[Discussion] December 30th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 30 11:35:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n35sl/december_30th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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List what you’ve eaten in the past week.
(Lmaooo everything kill me now k thanks)
[Discussion] DAE rotate through ~fad~ diets in an attempt to limit which foods you're able to eat?
/u/ASAPfeline [5'5" | CW: 130 :( | 20F]
Created: Sat Dec 30 09:50:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n2iwf/dae_rotate_through_fad_diets_in_an_attempt_to/
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I change diets like clothes and follow them with a borderline orthorexic-like intensity. Actually, sometimes I've felt worse about eating a few bites of something not within the parameters of my diet compared to binging on something allowed in my current diet. I've done zero carb, veganism, paleo, whole foods plant based, 20:4 intermittent fasting, and OMAD (one meal a day) to name a few. People have noticed since I'm always turning down food for various reasons. They probably think my obsession is a cute quirk of being a 20 year old female, but I doubt they realize how dark the roots of this obsession are. I've had a few people in my life ask me "why can't you just eat normally?" upon hearing about which new weird diet I was pursuing. I've never confided in anyone about my issues but I usually answer that question with a bleak and simple " I really don't know how to"
[Rant/Rave] The holidays derailed me hard...now I feel like I'm starting over again! [rant/ rave]
/u/mynormalheart [5' 3" | CW: Tub of lard | GW: 120]
Created: Sat Dec 30 09:36:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n2g0p/the_holidays_derailed_me_hardnow_i_feel_like_im/
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I was doing SO fucking well before Christmas... I was at that point in my restriction where I was starting to never feel hungry any more (took me 4 months to get there), then after all this holiday eating garbage I'm back to being hungry and wanting junk food and feeling like crap and trying to stave off a binge. It just feels like I'm starting from scratch & I'm so mad at myself for being so weak over the holidays and putting myself in this situation. Plus my sister is here and she's a food nazi who monitors everything everyone eats so I can't just starve myself or she'll make a huge stink.
I feel so fat and bloated.
[Other] Just Got To My All Time Low !!
/u/bunntendo [Height5'7 | CW125 | BMI20 | GW115 | GenderNB]
Created: Sat Dec 30 09:30:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n2exj/just_got_to_my_all_time_low/
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i just weighed myself and im 124.2lbs which is the lowest ive been since 8th grade !! after fasting for 60 hours and being so sick with the flu that i threw up twice and my body released all of my excess water weight, ive lost 4 pounds since thursday !!
i only have another 10 pounds before i reach my UGW !! ggez
More things to be self conscious about
/u/KitteeChaos
Created: Sat Dec 30 09:21:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n2d0v/more_things_to_be_self_conscious_about/
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[removed]
Any recoverers lurking here who miss the community?
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'10" ☀️ attempting recovery]
Created: Sat Dec 30 09:11:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n2b70/any_recoverers_lurking_here_who_miss_the_community/
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I don't miss having an eating disorder. It was hell and ruined my life. But I miss you guys. This community brought me some of my best friends and I miss that. I miss being able to post whatever was on my mind here and having supportive comments that made me feel better like this summer when I was sexually assaulted and I posted here for support and you all were so incredible to me. Eating disorders are hell but you guys are so kind and sweet. I love you all so so much and I hope you're doing okay.
[Rant/Rave] Anyone else staying in for New Year's because they're fat?
/u/awkwardplum
Created: Sat Dec 30 09:07:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n2a9w/anyone_else_staying_in_for_new_years_because/
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I stayed in last year for the same reason. LOL. Three weeks ago I would have been fine, but I've been binging nonstop and it finally caught up with me. I feel disgusting.
I don’t like subs like /r/loseit bc tbh I’m aiming for ~aesthetic~ not for some boring methodical bullshit
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Dec 30 07:44:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n1v6m/i_dont_like_subs_like_rloseit_bc_tbh_im_aiming/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] DAE have a job that “requires” them to be skinny?
/u/orthoreXXX [22F | 5’4” | cw 120lb | gw 110lb | bmi 21]
Created: Sat Dec 30 07:27:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n1sfv/dae_have_a_job_that_requires_them_to_be_skinny/
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I’m an escort/sugar baby and there’s so much god damn competition here. I feel terrible for the “overweight” girls because some clients/sugar daddies said they were “catfished” by fat girls and publicly embarrassed them in the restaurant/bar, etc.
One guy even said as soon as he saw a girl, he got up to leave because she was overweight and she dropped to her knees and cried and begged for $50, saying she would fuck him/blow him etc. :(
It’s horrible but at least it’s motivation to get skinny.
[Rant/Rave] New Year... Same Habits.
/u/planetarydisaster
Created: Sat Dec 30 06:59:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n1o2w/new_year_same_habits/
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With the new year coming up, I realize I've gained bad habits since last year. I'm prone to binging and the medicine I'm on doesn't help with that. My mother pushes me to lose weight, and it's a little bit of a struggle because she forces me to eat as well. I've been a part of this community for some time, on different sites as well,and for the first time my weight is beginning to get to a plateau and I can't stop it. My s/o is also quite annoyed with my eating habits and I'm finding it hard to hide it on that end. So in all, I'm hoping this new year can only bring my UGW.
Eating family style for my job.
/u/Dylanrose669
Created: Sat Dec 30 05:25:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n1b73/eating_family_style_for_my_job/
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[removed]
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! December 30, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Dec 30 05:11:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n19er/stupid_questions_saturday_december_30_2017/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for December 30, 2017.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! December 30, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Dec 30 05:10:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n19as/daily_food_diary_december_30_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 30, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] ED makeup
/u/teasnob22 [5'3" | CW: 95.7 | GW: 88 | 17.43 | -22 | F | Vegan AF]
Created: Sat Dec 30 03:43:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n0z2i/ed_makeup/
---
I saw [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/muacjdiscussion/comments/7mgh2m/occ_and_wearing_your_weakness_as_armor/?st=JBT7R7QC&sh=175162fa) post on muacjdiscussion and it got me thinking what my ED inspired makeup products would be like. My thoughts so far:
Swollen glands: a pinky-red blush
Toilet cleaner: a bright blue cream eye shadow
Broken capillaries: bright red liquid eyeliner
Cavities: bubblegum pink lipstick
Please help me expand the line, give me your thoughts, maybe we can team up and become entrepreneurs idk
[Discussion] Secretive Eating, but the wrong direction
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 80 lbs | 15.3 | -27 lbs | f]
Created: Sat Dec 30 02:56:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n0tnr/secretive_eating_but_the_wrong_direction/
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As I write this, I sit in my bathroom, gingerly nibbling at half a Dove chocolate bar.
This is the only thing I will keep down all day.
It is also the only thing i've made any effort to conceal the fact that I have eaten.
I binge huge, unhinged binges all day in front of, well, everyone, but this?
This is a secret and I don't know why.
Anyone else riding a similar wave?
[Thinspo] Post a picture of your goal body.
/u/LevyMevy
Created: Sat Dec 30 02:11:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n0ois/post_a_picture_of_your_goal_body/
---
[Help] Help me, I’m fat again
/u/ahcas19
Created: Sat Dec 30 01:51:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n0m4r/help_me_im_fat_again/
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[removed]
[Help] I took 2 super strength laxatives after a bad binge. It says I shouldn't take more than 1 every few days. Just tell me I'm not gonna die
/u/BoyzinMotion2000
Created: Sat Dec 30 01:08:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n0gv4/i_took_2_super_strength_laxatives_after_a_bad/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Diet Coke?
/u/runjumpflip [5'3 | CW 110 | 19.5 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 30 00:43:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n0dlj/diet_coke/
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I've always wondered like, all these ED forums and tumblr pages and shit are always talking about Diet Coke and how it's great and makes you feel full etc etc. But like why specifically Diet Coke? Why not diet ginger ale? Diet Dr Pepper? Diet Fanta? Like there's so many choices lol. Nobody talks about em.
[Rant/Rave] Just a rant
/u/crazylama13 [5'2 | CW:103 | BMI: 18.8 | GW:100]
Created: Fri Dec 29 23:57:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n07g9/just_a_rant/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Can’t stop binging
/u/villagethief
Created: Fri Dec 29 23:26:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7n02vx/cant_stop_binging/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Is anyone else severely motivated by meanspo?
/u/slimeygoth
Created: Fri Dec 29 23:05:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mzzl6/is_anyone_else_severely_motivated_by_meanspo/
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[removed]
Literally everything about them is perfect. (From the group Rose Group)
/u/bunnywithbpd [Height 5"1 | CW 114 lb | HW 128 lb | UGW 95 lb]
Created: Fri Dec 29 22:44:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mzw5k/literally_everything_about_them_is_perfect_from/
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https://i.redd.it/ag4oaw66zz601.jpg
[Discussion] anyone else obsessed with kpop idols?
/u/bunnywithbpd [Height 5"1 | CW 114 lb | HW 128 lb | UGW 95 lb]
Created: Fri Dec 29 22:41:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mzvm2/anyone_else_obsessed_with_kpop_idols/
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I look up to them as my ~*thinspo*~ since I'm asian myself...
They openly state how little they eat and how crazy their dieting is and I am completely obsessed with them.
I think my ultimate would be AOA Choa she is around my height and has the perfect frame (in my opinion) or Jini from Rose Queen.
Anyway looking for some buddies to talk to~~ I've been feeling pretty alone.
[Rant/Rave] A milestone- Finally
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 29 22:09:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mzqf4/a_milestone_finally/
---
[deleted]
I’ve been personally attacked??
/u/valentineviolette [5'1 | 154lbs | -14lbs | F]
Created: Fri Dec 29 20:49:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mzcir/ive_been_personally_attacked/
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https://i.redd.it/2vqrnwr0fz601.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Some good news, finally
/u/gothqueeen [5’7 | 24.5 | 156.7 | 130/125?]
Created: Fri Dec 29 20:36:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mza74/some_good_news_finally/
---
I am down to a “healthy” BMI! I was once “overweight” (67 inches tall, 165.5 lbs) but now that I’m 156.7, I’m no longer considered overweight. I have a long way to go to my GW, but for now I feel like I’m finally making progress. I know it’s not a whole lot to rave about.... but this is a huge milestone for me personally.
[Discussion] anyone else usually hate watching most people eat
/u/LivelyGhost [5'6" | CW: 136 | GW: 111 | -28 lbs]
Created: Fri Dec 29 20:29:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mz8qd/anyone_else_usually_hate_watching_most_people_eat/
---
I hate the sounds of chewing, I hate it when people breathe loudly while eating, lip smacking, dramatic squealing or moaning while eating, all of it. If someone's a clean eater, I don't mind but fuck man when will people learn how to just eat quietly and relatively cleanly. Drives me up the walls, it's probably not misophonia.
[Help] Has anyone had their period stop mid cycle???
/u/InterchangeableMoon [Height 5'0" | CW 110 | GW 98 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 29 20:29:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mz8pj/has_anyone_had_their_period_stop_mid_cycle/
---
I’m 5’0”, weighing in at an unfortunate 113lbs. I started getting PMS symptoms a few days ago, started spotting the day before yesterday, had a light flow yesterday and now it’s gone.
It’s similar to my periods that I’ve had when I’m using hormonal birth control but I’m not on one now. I’m taking no medications but I’m EC stacking, exercising 5+ days a week, and eating 600-1100 calories.
I’m 24 and feel like I know my period really well but I’m not sure what’s happening here. I’m kind of worried but kind of excited??
[Rant/Rave] Not Weighing = More Self Hatred
/u/fuckingupleftnright
Created: Fri Dec 29 19:50:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mz1ut/not_weighing_more_self_hatred/
---
Not weighing seems like it would help you not obsess over food/body and make you feel better right? Nope.
Was too scared to weigh myself and as a result was suffering horrible mood swings and body dysmorphia. Finally bit the bullet tonight.
I was estimating 7lbs over what I actually weigh.
It's still too much tho so I guess I'm still here y'all
[Help] Can restricting cause a lower heart rate?
/u/vitalogy95
Created: Fri Dec 29 19:20:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7myw7p/can_restricting_cause_a_lower_heart_rate/
---
I noticed mine was around 58-60ish and mine is normally in the high 70s low 80s. Could this be from restricting l?
[Rant/Rave] Struggle Bus
/u/ThisIsGumpy [Height 5'2| CW 108| GW 100]
Created: Fri Dec 29 18:13:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7myj6m/struggle_bus/
---
[removed]
[Other] what's the point of eating normal meals
/u/prxncetxn [5'6 | CW: 116 | GW: 105 | M]
Created: Fri Dec 29 17:14:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7my6xa/whats_the_point_of_eating_normal_meals/
---
I binge at night whether I eat fuck all for the whole day or if I eat 3 square meals, so what's the point
I hate my life
[Help] Is this a realistic prediction chart? I've gained all my weight back and want to lose it by summer.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 29 16:31:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mxxhq/is_this_a_realistic_prediction_chart_ive_gained/
---
https://imgur.com/gallery/9c0mc
[Help] Just found my ultimate thinspo: Laura Gemser. Does anyone know/can guess her stats?! She's absolute goals.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 29 16:12:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mxthd/just_found_my_ultimate_thinspo_laura_gemser_does/
---
https://i.redd.it/5eu5qdhk1y601.jpg
[Other] Christie Unger and other Youtubers
/u/freckafunk
Created: Fri Dec 29 14:53:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mxbx9/christie_unger_and_other_youtubers/
---
DAE watch Christie’s YouTube vids and follow her on Insta? I really like her content. It’s triggering but in a calming way... I can’t explain it.
She is my height, 5’11’’/6’’, and I swear she’s less than 115. Seeing older videos of her before she “began her weight gain journey” were kind of scary because she was so thin and tan (she is still so so skinny but she’s in thicker clothes now that it’s winter). So she started making these videos about what she enjoys eating and it all just seems like a charade she doesn’t realize she’s acting out.
I think she is telling herself she’s one of those plant-based YouTubers who encourage you to eat in abundance, but she seems to embody every symptom I used before I lost the discipline to do it all the time. So I am motivated by the videos to restrict.
I know the videos are edited but it seems like her entire life revolves around cooking someone low cal, high volume. She still mixes cauliflower rice or zucchini in her oats which became an ED red flag on insta years ago (I sound so old)!!!
But I like the recipes because they are simple and vegan and low cal, but not like a million random ingredients like all the Australian vegan channels. It’s like “open can of no salt tomatoes, add mushrooms, add seasoning, cook on stove, voila! Soup!!! INDULGE in a second piece of 80 cal the bread ... then have a clementine” it’s like she thinks she’s eating like a beast and making a show of it.
I feel bad for her because she seems to believe her habits are legit normal and healthy enough to share with others and inspire them... but it just inspires me to restrict and gives me cheap recipe ideas. Check her out if you’re into that (but be warned if boniness triggers you in a bad way)
Edit: I posted this because I really like her! And she wants to recover so I am not tearing her down, I just see SO much of my former self in her from back when I thought I was recovering and TOTALLY wasn’t. Her videos are a little immature, and it’s weird to see her try to spread a message of health when she won’t publicly acknowledge she has a problem, but I think she’s a sweet girl and hope the best for her.
[Rant/Rave] I'm so mad at myself. (Long rant... Sorry)
/u/AnaTroi [5'9" | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 29 14:47:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mxaoq/im_so_mad_at_myself_long_rant_sorry/
---
I've been a "medium restricter" since I was pretty young. Restricting has always felt pretty natural to me.
I was in “recovery” for a few years and managed to gain about 50 pounds. One of the things that I was"taught" was to eat small meals throughout the day, but NO calorie counting since I'm too obsessive about it. It got to the point where I was really unhappy and hating myself (more than normal, ha!). So I slipped back into my restricting ways. I'm on my own now, no parental interference, no significant other... So there's no one to notice what I'm doing.
Everyone's praising me for losing so much weight so quickly. I'm down 43 pounds since the beginning of September. I feel so much happier knowing I've lost that weight.
But an evil friend has crept into my head... And I find myself purging. It's not something I even thought about before I went into recovery. Now it's this little voice in the back of my mind telling me I've got to get those calories out of my body. I'm eating 600-800 calories at maximum, so I know I realistically can't gain. But then that little nagging thought creeps in... "Maybe the calories aren't accurate. You definitely ate way more than you think you did. Better get it out."
I try to do things to distract myself. But it's a battle I'm definitely losing. I did manage to get myself to stop the week of Christmas, but the scale didn't budge for a few days and I couldn't handle it.
There was blood on my toothbrush today when I purged in the bathroom after lunch. It's probably just from irritating the back of my throat with the bristles. But I'm so mad at myself. I'm doing actual damage. Where does it end?
I tell myself I'll start eating at maintenance when I get to the weight I want to be at. But I'm lying and I know it.
Anyway... Just needed to vent where someone would understand. Thanks for reading. 💜
tl;dr: I've purged so much lately that my throat is bleeding from the toothbrush irritating it. I hate myself. But not enough to stop.
[Rant/Rave] 3 Days to get below where I was before Christmas Eve and Christmas binging.
/u/anonymousalmondmilk
Created: Fri Dec 29 14:20:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mx4p7/3_days_to_get_below_where_i_was_before_christmas/
---
I’m posting this just to vent but also to reassure anyone who went through the same thing.
I ate about 6,000 total calories between Christmas Eve and Christmas. I was up over 4 pounds.
It took me 3 days to lose all of that plus an extra pound and I’m now lower than I was before Xmas.
I know it can feel like you’ll never get back to making progress and the urge to say “fuck it” is so strong. But be gentle with yourself. Try to remember the food weight and bloating is completely temporary.
In a couple weeks, you probably won’t even consider that binge. 💗
[Rant/Rave] There is simply no good option
/u/Discountmein [5'6" | 148 | 23.9 | 77lbs down | Agender]
Created: Fri Dec 29 14:19:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mx4fr/there_is_simply_no_good_option/
---
I used to be fat. Well, fatter. I’m not technically overweight anymore (tell that to my grotesque body), but I used to be obese.
When I was obese, I had no problem going to Steak & Shake and eating a burger and some fries and maybe even a milkshake. I felt no guilt and I only worried about my tastebuds.
My friends and I used to have a ritual of going to the movies and then out to Beef & Wiggle, and we’ve decided to resurrect this ritual tonight. (By “we,” I mean, “I had no part in this decision but I couldn’t protest without raising suspicion and dashing hopes.”)
I have spent the last few hours poring over the menu, googling, praying, and doing calorie algebra while hoping that math suddenly won’t be math. I want a calorie-free cheeseburger to drop from the sky out of god’s endless mercy and I want a milkshake with only two ingredients: ice and water.
There is simply no good option and I am deeply offended by this. Who fucking told Chuck & Tremble it could ruin my life???
[Rant/Rave] Caved and binged
/u/silverfinshark
Created: Fri Dec 29 14:04:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mx15z/caved_and_binged/
---
I've been doing really well controlling my binging but after I woke up from my post work nap ( I work overnight), I went on rampage through my kitchen and consumed everything and anything that looked remotely tasty from donuts to cheetos. I feel horrible now but the food tasted way too good to stop. I had decent control through the holidays but just lost it today
[Rant/Rave] Found cases on sale at S&S. I’m all ready for my New Years goals now 👌🏻
/u/Rapunzelindreamland
Created: Fri Dec 29 13:55:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mwz6a/found_cases_on_sale_at_ss_im_all_ready_for_my_new/
---
https://i.redd.it/53mnmry9dx601.jpg
[Help] Tips to get through fasting?
/u/SilentlyLuna [183cm | CW: monstrous | GW:Unattainable | -7kg | F]
Created: Fri Dec 29 13:12:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mwpmd/tips_to_get_through_fasting/
---
I'm on a post-Christmas fast, about 25 hours in. Hunger pangs are manageable so far, but my head is already feeling foggy and I'm struggling to concentrate. I've had two black coffees and a herbal tea today, but it's the evening now so I don't want to have anymore since it'd keep me awake.
Any tips to help focus? I'm trying to get some essays done but I just keep zoning out and my eyes kind of go out of focus a lot. I'm drinking a lot of water but it's not really helping...
[Help] I don't understand EDs
/u/RebornOldFart
Created: Fri Dec 29 13:10:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mwp6z/i_dont_understand_eds/
---
I have been binge eating a lot lately. Since August it has been getting increasingly worse. This was after a 11 months of dieting and losing 135 pounds. I have had the same triggers since I started dieting that I have now that I assume are triggering the binge eating. I don't get how it comes and goes.
I have undiagnosed ASD or ADHD-C, I am broke as a joke because the only job I have managed to keep pays very little, and tomorrow, my oldest son is getting married. For 4 days I have not binged. For 3 days I have maintained my dieting level of 1500 calories, while exercising. Today, I am a train wreck. I want to shovel food in my mouth so bad it hurts. My stomach is growling, I feel HUNGRY. I had all of these problems yesterday, why are they triggering the desire to binge today?
My wife seems to be maintaining as all she is concerned about is fitting in her fancy dress. I am depressed, sad, angry, and STARVING!
[Discussion] December 25th - 29th Questions of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 29 13:05:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mwo5s/december_25th_29th_questions_of_the_day/
---
Sorrrryyy everyone. Hope everyone had nice holidays!
25th: Write down five words that describe today. 🎄🎅🤶
26th: On a scale of 1 - 10, how spontaneous were you today?
27th: When was the last time you felt at peace?
28th: Snuggle down or go out and play?
29th: What are your top three wishes?
[Discussion] What do the normal people think of us?
/u/throw_away524
Created: Fri Dec 29 12:33:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mwgmy/what_do_the_normal_people_think_of_us/
---
I've always thought they judge and think we are all just vain and self obsessed with being a model. For some reason people always blame the media for anorexia (wut?!). For me seeing some skinny model didn't create a mental disorder.
Also, people like onision (his anorexia vids are super triggering) made me feel like actual human garbage. Do the normal people just think we are too stupid to feed ourselves? I always feel so judged when I'm out in public.
thoughts?
[Rant/Rave] In so much pain from eating
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Fri Dec 29 12:32:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mwgga/in_so_much_pain_from_eating/
---
I was 4lbs up from eating freely this week and I think my body had just hit a limit and I couldn’t deny myself food anymore. I was ravenous and pretty much just didn’t care so I decided I wanted to give myself one more “night off” and eat what I wanted.
I smoked a joint and went to a restaurant all by myself (which is huge for me, I’ve never done it before) and had a grilled cheese w bacon and Parmesan fries- it was so good and I only ate about half (pretty proud), then I ordered cheesecake and ice cream which was amazing and I also didn’t finish. I was pretty full but then I went to the mall and continued to eat- auntie Anne’s and two chocolates from sees candy. At this point I am uncomfortably full and hating myself, especially bc at this point my bf invited me over and I felt so disgusting. Then I smoke later and eat some popcorn and continue to feel worse.
I am going to fast for at least 48 hours now but I am worried it won’t undo the damage. I am 7lbs up and my whole body is so bloated, swollen and painful. What makes it even worse is all I want to do is eat still but I can’t even look at myself in the mirror. Also I am due to start my period so I think that is what is causing me to be so hungry and the extra bloat.
Anyways, I feel like crap and I’m worried I won’t be back to my regular weight by Sunday night.
[Other] lol @ how i get through work
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: prob 137, afraid of scale | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26F]
Created: Fri Dec 29 12:27:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mwfb9/lol_how_i_get_through_work/
---
https://i.redd.it/sydjgguhxw601.jpg
Am I not supposed to be here?
/u/gross9876 [5' 3" | 120 | -24 | not a girl]
Created: Fri Dec 29 12:08:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mwazc/am_i_not_supposed_to_be_here/
---
A while ago someone made a post complaining that there are some people who just see EDs as a diet. I don't know what that means and I don't know if I'm doing that.
I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be here basically. I haven't been professionally diagnosed but I don't want to be
[Tip] Snacks I can make with Iceberg Lettuce?
/u/allkindsofnewyou [5'2 | 95 | BMI 17 | F ]
Created: Fri Dec 29 11:55:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mw7vc/snacks_i_can_make_with_iceberg_lettuce/
---
I've seen some recipes to satisfy chip/crunch cravings on here, but I can't find anything through the search function. I think they were seasoned or something.
Also, any low calorie vegetable fajita seasoning recommendations? I have taco bell powdered seasoning at home but I'm not there to check the calories.
To add: would also love to know all of your favorite substitutes for salad dressing.
[Rant/Rave] The importance of well fitting clothing.
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 57.5 kg | -26 kg | 22F]
Created: Fri Dec 29 11:24:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mw0zm/the_importance_of_well_fitting_clothing/
---
I have been feeling really big the last few days, and I mean I feel bigger than usual. BUT I still went shopping today because that was the christmas present from my aunt.
And I found out: I feel less appalling when I'm wearing cute and well fitting cloths.
I always want to hide my body and wear big sweaters or just stuff I have laying in my closet from 26kg ago and of course those things are not flattering at all.
I got a new coat from Zara in a size M. You know, those really classy looking wool coats? Yes one of these. And I tell you, the coat looked really slim and I was worried if I could actually fit in or not.
I did! And I looked really good too. I felt a little bit thinner even though I have terrible PMS bloating. The same went for a blouse and a small jacket.
I just wanted to tell you guys because for me it was big news that I could feel less terrible in cloths that actually fit and that are not too big.
Besides that my second day of my fast got ruined because they (my mom and aunt) wanted to eat mexican food. I have no idea how many calories I consumed in total (in Germamy it's nearly impossible to find calorie counts in any restaurants) but I guessed it to be 600 cals. Which put me at around 750 cals today. At least it's below my TDEE if I manage not to binge.
Hope you all had a good day. :)
[Rant/Rave] I’m so fucking bored
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 198lbs | M]
Created: Fri Dec 29 11:08:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mvx8q/im_so_fucking_bored/
---
Part of it is being home for the holidays, but goddamn I forgot how hard to focus it is when you’re hungry and exhausted. I just want to lay in bed watching the clock.
[Rant/Rave] Want bf to understand
/u/coffeexsmokes [5'2" | 100 | -50 | 21F]
Created: Fri Dec 29 11:03:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mvw1w/want_bf_to_understand/
---
My bf is amazingly supportive of me. He knows about my ED and how I am somewhat trying to recover and has told me that as long as I keep working towards being healthy, he doesn't care if I stick with a few odd behaviours/rituals.
Which is great.
But he doesn't understand how much my ED upsets me, how even when I am physically healthy, my compulsions drive me crazy. I want him to understand but I don't want to overwhelm him. It's just really frustrating he can't see how mentally painful this all is.
[Help] Meds and if they help
/u/BluestNovember [5'4" | SW: 200+ lbs | CW: too high | BMI: under 40 | -26lbs | F]
Created: Fri Dec 29 11:00:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mvv9m/meds_and_if_they_help/
---
I just started Wellbutrin and my depression symptoms seem worse. The emotional pain is so severe, I've started scratching my arms until I bleed. I'm wondering if I should ask my doc to switch me on meds or just wait it out to see if it gets better. I was hoping it would help me with not eating, but I've gained. What are your experiences on antidepressants?
I hate my fam
/u/fxuk [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Fri Dec 29 10:29:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mvnt8/i_hate_my_fam/
---
My mom has forced me to eat 6 times a day over vacation. Gained 3 lbs despite exercising so much. fml:(
[Rant/Rave] Jesus, how bad is my dysmorphia? Pretty bad apparently.
/u/dre-ezy [5’4 | CW 101.2 | ftm ]
Created: Fri Dec 29 09:42:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mvczv/jesus_how_bad_is_my_dysmorphia_pretty_bad/
---
My dad bought me a bunch of clothes online for xmas and ALL HOLIDAY i was losing my shit because he messaged me “I got you an xs in everything I hope it fits”
So i finally get the package, and the clothes look. Inhumanely small.
Like kids sizes. And I almost started crying bc they were nice clothes
But ?? Everything fit me?? Some stuff was even too big for me??
And NOW when I look at the clothes they look huge baggy and stretched out
wtf is wrong w me
[Help] Lax question
/u/iheartlemons [5'1" | 92.8lb | 17.5BMI | 27F]
Created: Fri Dec 29 09:15:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mv746/lax_question/
---
I just took my first dose of Dulcolax and I’m wondering how long it will be before it “hits”. It says “gentle, predictable relief”, but I’m going on a ski trip this weekend and I’m afraid it will happen at an inopportune time. Any advice or experiences you can share would be greatly appreciated. Love y’all!
[Rant/Rave] Me: I am gonna stop worrying about my weight. I'm starting at the gym soon, it'll be fine!!!!
/u/pikapika350
Created: Fri Dec 29 08:54:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mv2fj/me_i_am_gonna_stop_worrying_about_my_weight_im/
---
[removed]
[Other] It's been awhile
/u/xCatsunax [5'5 | 105 lbs | BMI: 17.5 | GW 95 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Dec 29 08:52:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mv212/its_been_awhile/
---
So I've been a little out of the game. Back in October I reached 95 lbs which was my lowest in awhile and I was so depressed so I did something I hadn't consider doing in my 7 years of having an ED which was to recover. And it has been so weird to eat whatever I wanted. But today I started going back on my ADHD meds and I noticed I gained more than 20 pounds in the past 2 months. Recently I wouldn't even dream of weighing myself, but it looked like I did lose a little weight since the past couple of days and I was just curious. I never have seen the scale go above 114 before so it was a big eye opener. I'm still not sure if I want to go through all the trouble that I did to lose that much. I know I need to get a wisdom tooth out soon so I'm not too worried about my weight. I just figured since my meds are gonna prevent me from eating I might as well see what happens.
[Help] Tips on a first-time fast
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 29 08:51:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mv1pw/tips_on_a_firsttime_fast/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I’m throwing out my snacks
/u/hmptrw
Created: Fri Dec 29 08:43:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mv027/im_throwing_out_my_snacks/
---
Every Christmas my Mam buys all of us bags that she fills with chocolates and sweets, to replace the normal tins of sweets that most people in the UK are given.
I have no self control, after 4 days of binging I’ve decided to just throw the remainder away because I can’t be trusted.
I wish that I was able to just restrain myself and eat normally. Why am I like this?
[Rant/Rave] Just gonna go back to having no friends
/u/orthoreXXX [22F | 5’4” | cw 120lb | gw 110lb | bmi 21]
Created: Fri Dec 29 06:59:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mufxe/just_gonna_go_back_to_having_no_friends/
---
When I moved to a new state I became friends with this group of guys (all M, 26ish) that I met through my boyfriend (even though he’s not really good friends with them) and at first they were so awesome (always including me on invitations, introducing me to people, talking me up, etc.)
The group leader would always mention that whenever they got a new girl in their group, she grew to hate them after awhile and he hoped I wouldn’t either etc etc. I should have known this was a major red flag.
Now I can’t even hang out with them without a barrage of insults and attacks on my looks, intelligence, relationship, and confidence/personality constantly being thrown at me in the form of “jokes”. I don’t even remember what the turning point was.
Stupidly, I revealed to them last week that I wanted to lose more weight and that I had a bit of an “eating issue” hoping that they would be understanding, but now they “jokingly” refer to me as fatty, randomly say things like “How’s being fat going?” Etc. And god I’m so fucking done. It’s back to the drawing board in terms of making friends for me.
I haven’t even hung out with them at all in the past few days because I’m so irritated, and they’ve been constantly messaging me in the group chat and in snapchat asking why I won’t hang out with them. It should be obvious!!
It’s really ridiculous too that I let them insult nearly everything about me but as soon as they call me fat I decide I can’t take it anymore. God I’m dumb.
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! December 29, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Dec 29 05:13:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mtzcr/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for December 29, 2017.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! December 29, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Dec 29 05:12:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mtzc1/daily_food_diary_december_29_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 29, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] Two Choices: Eat Everything, or Nothing
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 80 lbs | 15.3 | -27 lbs | f]
Created: Fri Dec 29 05:05:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mty8t/two_choices_eat_everything_or_nothing/
---
I've dug myself into this inescapable hole where i've become so accustomed to absolute emptiness that I can't handle eating even small amounts of food. Hell, I have a tough time drinking water most days. And then, of course, the hunger thag stems from purging literally everything I eat leads to massive binges, and I've just forgotten how to be a person basically.
I'm dysfunctional and helpless and I've really miffed everything up.
I need help but there's just nothing out there that actually makes me any better.
I feel like i'm damned to this forever.
[Discussion] If you’re feeling not great, probably not the best idea to look up the calories of what you just binged on.
/u/sdeakin93
Created: Fri Dec 29 04:57:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mtx17/if_youre_feeling_not_great_probably_not_the_best/
---
The holidays are rough, and I’m sinking back into old subconscious eating habits.
I somehow managed to just put down near 2000 calories in half an hour without even thinking.
Anyone have any advice for not thinking about food 24/7?
[Help] Do I have an ED? PLEASE HELP ME!
/u/squidhandss
Created: Fri Dec 29 03:16:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mtja7/do_i_have_an_ed_please_help_me/
---
I think I'm struggling with Binge Eating Disorder/EDNOS/Bulimia. I honestly don't even know if this is a vent or a cry for help. I don't know how to stop.
I'm a teen. I shed some pounds a while ago. I used to be overweight (according to my BMI) where I squeezed into a size 14. But I'm now a "healthy" weight, comfortably wearing a size 8.
I lost this weight through a restrictive diet where I ate no more than 1200 calories, along with cardio.
Subsequently, I lost the control I once had. I felt deprived and salivated over the mere thought of eating a surplus amount of calories like I used to. I fell into a habit of binge eating followed by purging. I wanted to fill myself up only to forcibly empty myself from the guilt.
Four to five days a week get flushed down the toilet...literally. I'm returning back to old habits of eating the way I used to when I was overweight. The new habit that I picked up on is purging. I'm petrified of becoming overweight again.
Every now and then, my purging results in these two "lumps" below my jaw getting enlarged and swollen. (I don't know how to articulate this into medical terms)
The only person who knows about this behavior is myself.
I don't even know whether these thoughts and behaviors are manifested in some eating disorder. Maybe I'm just a weirdo who throws up large amounts of food to dodge weight gain.
I'm a "normal weight" but not "underweight". Maybe I shouldn't tell anyone right now. I don't think that with my current weight, my behavior would be taken into serious account.
I'm all alone. I don't know what to do...
Should I tell someone?
[Rant/Rave] Triggering anime
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Fri Dec 29 03:11:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mtihy/triggering_anime/
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Is anyone else triggered by anime characters? Tall, thin, always perfect hair and makeup. I feel ridiculous for feeling it, but I'm watching Psychic School Wars and the class rep is mesmerising.
[Help] Major bloating/discomfort from Quest bars?
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | CW: 117 | GW: small | F]
Created: Fri Dec 29 03:08:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mti4a/major_bloatingdiscomfort_from_quest_bars/
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Eating Quest bars has caused me a lot of discomfort lately (which is simultaneously good for my wallet and bad for my taste buds). I've noticed that my entire lower abdomen gets suuuuuper bloated, and I feel like there's a huge gas bubble on my right side. The bloating/bubble can stay there for up to 24-48 hours afterward, depending on how many bars I ate. I also have really smelly gas if I eat more than one at a time. (No poops though.) Does anyone else experience this? This doesn't happen when I eat other protein bars--maybe there's a specific ingredient in Quest bars that's causing me trouble?
[Rant/Rave] I resisted booze for the first time!
/u/throw_away524
Created: Fri Dec 29 02:05:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mt9pu/i_resisted_booze_for_the_first_time/
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Finally a rave to post. All we have is just some super caloric beer that I don't even like that much and I was able to lie and say I want to cut back on the booze (even though I'd honestly love a few shots of vodka) I just don't want all those calories. Now I feel strong, better than that drink could make me feel. So in control.
[Discussion] I know we talk about ED songs a lot, but what are some songs that aren’t explicitly ED related but remind you of yours?
/u/davincisunflower
Created: Fri Dec 29 01:53:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mt85s/i_know_we_talk_about_ed_songs_a_lot_but_what_are/
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Sorry if the title is confusing lol
The song “Misery” by Maroon 5 always makes me think of my ED because the music video has Anne V in it and she’s so skinny and gorgeous, still major thinspo to me to this day
Also, the song “The Only Reason” by 5sos has the line “Even though my dizzy head is numb, I swear my heart is never giving up” which I kinda like haha. That song also came out in summer 2014 which was kinda when this whole thing started for me
When do I get to have a hobby that'll make me forget to eat?
/u/bagelzboi [5'3 | CW: uhhhhhhhhh scale broke]
Created: Fri Dec 29 01:38:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mt689/when_do_i_get_to_have_a_hobby_thatll_make_me/
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Every day I seem to hear someone say something along the lines of "oh I was doing -hobby- all day and I forgot to eat haha!" Whether it's video games or drawing or music I've literally never been distracted enough to forget about food for even a second. That's the worst part about this disorder for me, I'm constantly distracted and never fully there because I'm thinking about food 24/7 and it's just so exhausting.
[Thinspo] I love you to the bones
/u/BluestNovember [5'4" | SW: 200+ lbs | CW: too high | BMI: under 40 | -26lbs | F]
Created: Fri Dec 29 00:38:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7msxnm/i_love_you_to_the_bones/
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I love this phrase from the song Open Fire (Ana's song) by Silverchair. Does anybody else love that song? What are your thinspo songs?
[Rant/Rave] “Leave mom out of it”
/u/Elizawitch [5'3" | Female | CW: 100lbs | GW: 90lbs | UGW: 85lbs]
Created: Thu Dec 28 22:46:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7msfou/leave_mom_out_of_it/
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Christmas night, my mother went through the pictures on my phone and came across some thinspo. To that she shouted at me “you’re not twelve anymore! I thought you were done with this eating disorder bullshit!”
After being yelled at, she goes to take a shower and my sister tells me “your issue is stressing mom out. Do whatever you want with your body but leave mom out of it.”
I just wanted to rant. I feel so alone and I don’t know what to do. I’m tired of bottling everything up but I need this weight (literal and figurative) off my body... I don’t know.
PS. I scheduled a massage for myself due to back pain and I don’t want to gross the massage therapist out with my fat, disgusting body, but my back hurts so terribly.
[Other] this is what my Ana looks like [/s]
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 198lbs | M]
Created: Thu Dec 28 21:51:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ms5o3/this_is_what_my_ana_looks_like_s/
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https://i.redd.it/tjpqadh9ls601.jpg
[Other] Is anybody else obsessed with seeing how other people have gained weight?
/u/multicolour-squirrel [5'8 |147lbs|-18lbs|GW:132|25F]
Created: Thu Dec 28 21:37:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ms366/is_anybody_else_obsessed_with_seeing_how_other/
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I am always browsing subreddits related to this or stalking facebook/instagram of people I know who have gained weight. It is like an interest to see at what point they started to gain weight or when they post food to see why. I'm so fascinated with it. I don't think I am better than them or anything, I am just... fascinated with people who let themselves go
[Rant/Rave] Argh I am going to fast until next year and maybe forever
/u/multicolour-squirrel [5'8 |147lbs|-18lbs|GW:132|25F]
Created: Thu Dec 28 21:29:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ms1mw/argh_i_am_going_to_fast_until_next_year_and_maybe/
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That makes it sound so good. Damn all this baking and chocolate and sugar. I've been doing my exercise in the evening and then not eating until the next day, but my injury restricts me from doing those fabulous long runs that I used to do, then not eat. We are planning on all going to the beach on Sunday and I want to not look like a beached whale. Argh. I want to be at my UGW by May, so then I can go on my trip and not worry for those two weeks about ending up 10000kg.
54hrs 32min but maybe I'll just continue it until New Year morning
[Help] Need someone to help me calm down
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 28 20:44:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mrt61/need_someone_to_help_me_calm_down/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] [discussion] DAE think of their ED as normal but super unhealthy for literally anyone else?
/u/grape_fruits [5'3.5" | CW 102.6 lbs | 19F]
Created: Thu Dec 28 20:39:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mrs5p/discussion_dae_think_of_their_ed_as_normal_but/
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I honestly don't really know what this post is supposed to be, venting or something? I just read a post in /r/relationships about a girl whose boyfriend seemed to develop anorexia or orthorexia and throughout the whole thing I was thinking, "oh god that's too little calories he's going to die he needs help holy shit that's so extreme he's probably EC stacking" and then I was like wait I do this. and it's totally normal and fine, my stomach is full from veggies and mushrooms and broth and water and I probably haven't gone over like 800 cal today but there's nothing wrong with me at all. DAE have some weird dissociation between themselves and """other people with EDs"""? idk if I explained it right but it freaked me out a little when I realized I was so concerned about this stranger but will literally not eat a protein bar because it's 290 calories and I could eat like 3 servings of cheerios instead
[Rant/Rave] Feeling great... but relapsing.
/u/tortoise80
Created: Thu Dec 28 19:08:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mra1p/feeling_great_but_relapsing/
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I love myself. I have a great life. My body is objectively good.
And yet I’m still depressed. And now I’m relapsing after three months of recovery...
What the fuck is going on?
[Other] Realizing that my ED stole 2017 from me
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW:142 |CW:123 |20.6 |GW:110 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 28 19:06:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mr9ot/realizing_that_my_ed_stole_2017_from_me/
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Last night I was looking at all my photos and videos from this year, starting in January and moving forward. I was looking at all the things I did and remembering them. In the beginning of this year I started to try and lose weight, but I wasn’t having ED thoughts yet. I was mostly just eating intuitively from January to about May. During those months I went to so many concerts and did so many fun things with friends and my boyfriend. I wasn’t thinking about food often and I would pass up a meal or two, but I wasn’t obsessively counting calories or planning fasts yet. In May I moved out of my parents house into my own apartment, and that’s when I really started going downhill.
When I first moved in I mostly ate junk. Lots of chips and carbs and things like that. Then I started feeling gross. It’s the first time I started obsessively taking body check pictures and when I started to eat less and work out more. From May to August I remember limiting my calories. I started fasting. There are less pictures of me at concerts and hanging out with my friends during these months. Now they’re getting replaced with pictures of my stomach and thighs and the numbers on my scale. I stopped hanging out with my friends because I was scared that food would be involved. I started to log what I was eating in a journal and writing weight goals. My boyfriend was getting concerned.
September was when I started getting stressed over food. It was also when I started to take laxatives. This is the first month I started making side by side progress photos because I was feeling thinner. There are now almost exclusively body checks and scale pics on my phone because I had broken up with my boyfriend. I didn’t even have a good reason to end things. I started seeing him as a potential problem since he was getting concerned about how small I was getting and would constantly talk to me about it and try to stop me. I decided being thin mattered more to me than my long term relationship so I dumped him. Can you fucking believe that?
October up until now have been my worst months. I realize how wrapped up in my ED I am. I haven’t done anything fun in a few months because food scares me and it’s everywhere. I’m lonely. I don’t have friends anymore. All I do is stay inside my apartment and stress about meals while working out for half the day, but hey, I lost 10 more pounds and that’s what matters right? I was so shocked when I realized how I’ve become. I wasn’t even aware I was this obsessed before I looked at my pictures. I’ve lost over 20IBS in the last few months but at what cost? I’m not having fun. I feel hopeless. I’ve always struggled with other mental illnesses but I started realizing that I don’t see a point in staying alive and that getting thin is just a way for me to temporarily give myself something to do. Not to mention I’m also stupidly competitive and won’t stop until I’m thinner than one of my old friends who openly admitted to me that she’s in recovery for an ED she developed earlier this year. My body check pictures look great but they’re the only pictures on my phone anymore.
The sickest part is that I’m not even considering recovery even after sobbing about my realization. Even though I know this ED has taken away over half a year for me and pushed relationships and friends away, I’m still not willing to give it up. Lately I’ve felt more artsy and inspired. I’ve been a little happier but it’s only because I’m liking how my body is looking. I kind of made a compromise with myself that as long as I make myself have a hobby and things to do outside of my ED I can continue to starve. I think I can rebuild my social life again slowly, but it’ll definitely be difficult.
It’s just so chilling to realize how badly this ED has consumed me and how quickly it all happened. It’s crazy to look at my pictures in my phone and see it happen. I’m still shocked, but i don’t want to stop until I’m 100IBS. That’s fucking sick of me, but I love it at the same time.
Fuck.
[Rant/Rave] I'm a chocolate maker for a living
/u/hawaiianhaole01 [5'6 | 120.2 | 19.1 | GW 115 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 28 18:45:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mr5av/im_a_chocolate_maker_for_a_living/
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I'm constantly around hundreds of kilos of chocolate daily. I eat probably 2-3 60g bars a day. I can't stop once I start. My breakfast is usually a bar of choco with some nibs. Part of my job is quality control, and I purposely make bars just how I like it so I can eat all of them.
I know it's 'healthy' chocolate, but I literally just eat sugar and cocoa beans all day every day for the past 3.5 years. On the days where I'm dealing with just beans, I eat so many of them. While writing this post I finished a bar. On the plus side, I'm usually too sick to my stomach to eat dinner....ugh. why can't I have control 🙃
[Discussion] Restricting pantry staples?
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Thu Dec 28 18:39:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mr41x/restricting_pantry_staples/
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I've decided to go through my pantry and freezer and throw away everything unhealthy/high-calorie I've got stashed away that I'll never eat. I'm planning to go shopping and replace everything with healthy, low-calorie safe foods. If you could do this, what are some things you'd buy?
So far, I'm planning to pick up more of my usual staples: plain oatmeal, light soup, broth, shirataki noodles/rice, beans and lentils, Quest bars, frozen veggies and fruits, Halo Top, a few Lean Cuisines... what am I missing that you would die without?
[Rant/Rave] Doctor's office inspiration
/u/deadpetz [5'11"|CW: 159.2 lbs|BMI: 22.2|Weight Lost: -105.8 lbs|Male]
Created: Thu Dec 28 18:14:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mqz2b/doctors_office_inspiration/
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I recently got my ADHD diagnosis which in turn got me prescribed adderall, which has immensely helped suppress binges/appetite (went into more detail in a previous post), and I went to a follow up appointment with the doctor and he told me he doesn't want me to lose any more weight and I had to try so hard to not smile because I had been overweight/obese my whole life and after losing 105+ pounds and at a healthy weight/BMI, it was sooo amazing to hear hahah. But jokes on him I'm still gonna lose more ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
[Other] [Humor] Of Course I Ate
/u/TertiaryWings [5'1"| 🐳 | UGW125? | -37.6 | 26F]
Created: Thu Dec 28 17:57:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mqvnb/humor_of_course_i_ate/
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https://i.redd.it/suc8dhujfr601.jpg
[Help] Not losing hardly any weight...?
/u/hollowedheart_
Created: Thu Dec 28 17:55:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mqv6a/not_losing_hardly_any_weight/
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Hey all. Been restricting to under 1,000 calories a day ( 600-900 except for a few binge days) for at least a month now. Also I try to exercise everyday and I burn 800-1,000 cal usually. I weighted myself and haven't noticed any shift it weight. Maybe a couple pounds but since I restrict like that I would think they would start to "melt off". Any advice on what's happened to you?/when you restrict to lower cal intake? It drives my brain nuts. Thank you very much!
Drunkorexia? Alcohol as a hobby?
/u/renewtheplaintiff [5'3 | 103 | BMI 19.3 | F23]
Created: Thu Dec 28 17:55:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mqv1y/drunkorexia_alcohol_as_a_hobby/
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Sooooo, I've always loved alcohol. In college, all my friends would take cheap shots to have a good night, and then there'd be me: making fancy cocktails and my own craft beer flights. Taking notes on different types of wine, and attending beer brewing workshops.
I'm currently finishing my third cocktail of the night (Vodka Sunrise, Christmas Alexanders, and now a Brandy Sidecar)... and I seriously love mixing so much. Many of us on here count calories when drinking, but for me it doesn't even cross my mind. It's like my ED magically turns off as soon as I get excited about an oatmeal stout, or a really good Algonquin. I don't even get hungry either. Just super passionate about beer/wine/liquor.
I rarely ever get completely drunk, but find it such a relief to down a bottle of merlot after restricting all day. Maybe I'm just covering up my ED with another disorder? Or I've just found something I'm super passionate about that distracts me from this perpetual hell?
Can anyone relate?
[Rant/Rave] Probably gonna hop back on the crazy train cause I'm so done with this bullshit
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 28 17:34:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mqqqg/probably_gonna_hop_back_on_the_crazy_train_cause/
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[deleted]
[Help] I need help, I can’t ask this to someone I know without them giving me a concerned expression
/u/colethania
Created: Thu Dec 28 17:07:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mqkmu/i_need_help_i_cant_ask_this_to_someone_i_know/
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So I don’t know if anyone can help me with this but I’m eating 400 calories a day, even less somedays, it’s being really hard for me to eat something because of my bipolar medication and I’m also walking one hour everyday, I already used losertown but I don’t know if they are accurate cause I’ve never used before, so from experience how much do you think I will lost in a Month? My weight is 70kg 😭 and I have 172cm of height, my tummy is really flat but I need to lose weight in my legs and arms also my face 😭😭😭
My goal weight is 58kg but I know that is not possible to reach in one month. Can anyone tell me by experience if I can at least lost 8kg (17lbs) in a month?
[Help] Apple cider vinegar
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 |SW.156 |CW.137 |GW.120 |23.07 |F]
Created: Thu Dec 28 17:03:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mqjun/apple_cider_vinegar/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Tdee?
/u/oafmeal
Created: Thu Dec 28 16:47:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mqggh/tdee/
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So for awhile now I have started forcing myself to eat 2,000 calories and workout an hour a day. Hard cardio. I'm assuming I'm netting around 1500 a day... which sucks because I still feel like a fat piece of crap most of the time and I'm still always hungry and I just hate this cycle.
I can't eat less anymore because I'm in school and working a hard internship and if I can't function I'm afraid I'll drop out and god I think I would die if that happened...
I have no idea how to estimate my tdee? Does anyone know how? I'm 5'8 and I think right now I weigh about 138... maybe less... idk I haven't been able to get on a scale because I'm too scared.
Made it through the Christmas with the in-laws binge-free - FUCK YEAH
/u/shadowmachines
Created: Thu Dec 28 16:47:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mqgfg/made_it_through_the_christmas_with_the_inlaws/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/BingeEatingDisorder/comments/7moj81/made_it_through_the_christmas_with_the_inlaws/
[Help] How do you go shopping with body dysmorphia??
/u/dipped_in_gold_ [5'3 | CW ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | GW 105 | 22F]
Created: Thu Dec 28 16:37:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mqeac/how_do_you_go_shopping_with_body_dysmorphia/
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(I know that not everyone with an ED has body dysmorphia, but I figured I would be more likely to get answers here than on a fashion-related subreddit. Also I've never been diagnosed with anything, but I feel like this is the thing I'm dealing with)
Soooo I desperately need to buy some professional clothing, but even past the horrendous sizing issues, I have absolutely no idea what looks good on my body. Whenever I put *anything* on at all, it always looks bad to me, and I have no idea what my body type is because I all I see is fat tbh. Taking another person with me is out of the question for obvious reasons.
If you have body dysmorphia, how do you figure out what looks good and what doesn't?
Baileys! OMG!
/u/toadally-grody [174.5cm / 47.3 / 15.2 / maintaining / F]
Created: Thu Dec 28 16:31:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mqd0q/baileys_omg/
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Almost 100 calories per single measure... What the fuck! I was having a tiny spoonful each night as a Christmas treat thinking itd be negligible but it's totally fucked me up! Don't make the same mistake as me...
[Discussion] Anyone else get really weak on EC stacks?
/u/ikillsouls [5' 2" | fat | gross | Ugw: 85 | 20f]
Created: Thu Dec 28 15:42:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mq1y9/anyone_else_get_really_weak_on_ec_stacks/
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I started EC stacks for the first time last week and I had two main side effects:
A. Anxiety is through the fucking roof, like a lot worse than usual I thought I was dying.
B. I feel like a walking noodle
I don't mind the anxiety so much I'm p good at controlling it, but the weakness? I almost died at the mall the other day bc apparently I couldn't handle 6 hrs of walking while on EC stack whereas when I do regular fasting I feel totally fine? I feel like things spin and like I can't handle my own body weight. It's almost like how I feel post workout but without the muscle pain. I get really dizzy when I get up and sweaty even when it's not warm. Anyone else feel this on EC stacks? Any advice?
[Rant/Rave] Accidental adventure
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 80 lbs | 15.13 | -27 | f]
Created: Thu Dec 28 15:37:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mq0v4/accidental_adventure/
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I was *craving* a sweet treat, but i wasn't down for anything that would make me feel full, lest I trigger a binge, so i decided to have a nice little squirt of whip cream.
It was empty.
I accidentally did a whip-it.
And then, because I am an *absolute dumbass*, i decided to try again, just to make sure it was realllllyyyyy empty.
Whoops, whip-it number two.
And now i'm floating through the red-hot chili peppers Californication too dizzy to eat.
Yay me?
I guess.
Silver lining and all that.
disclaimer: i don't recommend whipping it, it feels like shit, just spin in a lottalottalotta circles and it'll probably feel the same.
[Help] I think I have depression
/u/little-paws
Created: Thu Dec 28 14:56:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mpr3o/i_think_i_have_depression/
---
Can I ask those of you who have depression - how did you know?
I know that seems like a stupid question, but I'm really confused.
I have become increasingly withdrawn and anxious and less willing to spend time with people. I don't feel happy with the relationships that I have (friends, family etc) and I just feel unhappy but I can't quite put my finger on it.
I know that my eating disorder has a lot to do with this, but I know that such things can be quite intertwined. I'd really appreciate any advice that anyone can offer me. Thanks so much.
[Discussion] Anybody else with Ehlers-Danlos?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 28 14:52:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mpqco/anybody_else_with_ehlersdanlos/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I’m so confused
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 |SW.156 |CW.137 |GW.120 |23.07 |F]
Created: Thu Dec 28 14:24:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mpjor/im_so_confused/
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I woke up after fasting all of yesterday, and I smelled pizza in my half dream state. Instead of abiding by my ritual of immediately undressing and weighing myself a ate 3 fucking slices like a pig. And after stressing and resenting stepping on the scale while full of pizza I did...and I am still at my LW of 137! Does that mean I could be at 136 but I am full of pizza? Idk but what I do know is I am not eating anything else today.
[Rant/Rave] Told myself I’d eat like a “normal person” today
/u/supemery
Created: Thu Dec 28 14:15:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mpho5/told_myself_id_eat_like_a_normal_person_today/
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[removed]
[Other] DAE find food less appealing now?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 28 13:53:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mpcbp/dae_find_food_less_appealing_now/
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[deleted]
[Help] Constantly eating when my boyfriend visits
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 28 13:48:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mpb9f/constantly_eating_when_my_boyfriend_visits/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] i feel terrible
/u/region-saliva
Created: Thu Dec 28 13:44:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mpa7y/i_feel_terrible/
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the holidays are so rough. deep inside i know that I should be focusing on my family because I know this is the only time out of the year I’ll be able to see them. But all I can think of is how I’m gonna burn this off and how I can convince everyone that I’m fine and explain to my baby cousin why I leave dinner early every night. uhhhg. i just want to go home
[Other] Thank you, Secret Santa!!
/u/thinsponeeded [5'6" | 111 | -20 | GW: 108 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 28 13:16:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mp3nl/thank_you_secret_santa/
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I got my gift in the mail the other day and I want to say THANK YOU!
I'm not posting my gifts because I don't want to attach my real name with this reddit account, but one of the gifts I received was heated insoles WHICH I HAD NO IDEA WAS A THING BUT I NEEDED TO TELL EVERYONE SO WE ALL KNOW ABOUT THEM! I haven't put them in yet though, because I'm debating on which pairs of shoes should be granted this wondrous miracle product.
I'm so grateful that someone so far away took the time, for a complete stranger, to gather up this little care package. My family has been congratulating me on my weight loss (which is a whole 'nother story that I have mixed feelings about), but I'm still losing and I'm having trouble hiding just how off my eating really is, and getting this care package means a lot. A stranger somewhere knows my secret when literally no one else in my life does, accepts and cares? There's something special about that. So thank you!
[Discussion] DAE hands and legs turn purple in the cold?
/u/CuppyCakesLovey [5'5 | CW:97 | BMI:16.14 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 28 12:10:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7monto/dae_hands_and_legs_turn_purple_in_the_cold/
---
I have not been able to go anywhere without mittens and two layers of socks on. My body shakes and hates the cold so much.
[Help] Tips how to drop water weight fast?
/u/ParanoidPancreas [5'11" | CW 149.4 | GW 148 | UGW 138 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 28 12:04:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mome5/tips_how_to_drop_water_weight_fast/
---
I'm bloated AF, I have the worst water retention around the time of my cycle, ugh. My pants feel uncomfortably tight around my waist. Any tips on how to stop the bloat? I'm drinking lots of water and taking Midol which has a diuretic in it.
[Discussion] Is it fucked up that I miss being depressed and binging and not caring?
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: prob 137, afraid of scale | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26F]
Created: Thu Dec 28 11:40:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mogfr/is_it_fucked_up_that_i_miss_being_depressed_and/
---
This might fit better on r/bipolar but it is food related so I figured a few of you might get it.
Before I was on meds, my usual state was maybe a 2 or 3 out of 10 on the mood scale. I was severely depressed; it's not a sadness, but a nothingness and a sense of not caring about anything and a complete inability to do more than the most very basic of things.
The only thing that made me feel better when I was depressed was insane amounts of food. I've posted about my binging ritual here before; it was a whole process, very comforting, and would allow me to fall asleep peacefully and forget about everything for the night.
Now that I'm medicated, I can pretty confidently say that the depression is just.. GONE, about 90% of the time. The only time I'm depressed is around my period.
And I miss it, you guys. I miss not giving a fuck about how fat I got and eating as much as would make me feel better.
Now I feel like I have no excuse to eat. I don't have anything to enable myself to be a fat piece of shit, but I'm not happy either. I feel more productive and more energetic but I don't feel happy. I know this is far better than being depressed or manic, and it is something I'll just have to accept, but I have no safety blanket anymore. Now I have to Be A Person.
Is this just like, way too fucked up of a mentality to have? Is there something wrong with me that I'm uncomfortable being stable?
[Help] Does anyone know of the best/most accurate scale?
/u/hollowedheart_
Created: Thu Dec 28 11:05:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mo7w9/does_anyone_know_of_the_bestmost_accurate_scale/
---
I have a pretty nice digital scale but ever since I replaced the batteries I get a different reading EVERY time I step on it. It works fine and comes on- the display is okay. But it will go from 133 lbs one minute then to 130- which is what I would believe the most since I weighted myself a week ago that that's what it read twice. This morning it went from 133-130-129-137! AHH! Messes with my brain so much. So I'm going to chalk it up to it being the scale.
What scale do you use? I want to get a new one that is more accurate. Thank you!
[Discussion] Where do you buy your clothes?
/u/BonnePomme [5'6" | 86 lbs | 13.9 | 20F]
Created: Thu Dec 28 10:59:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mo692/where_do_you_buy_your_clothes/
---
I really need some new pants, and was hoping to take advantage of post-Christmas sales. My jeans are all falling off and even my leggings are really baggy. I've shopped in the kid's section before, but that usually doesn't work with pants because they end up being too short.
Where do you shop for your clothes?
[Other] Only when my hair started falling out did I realize I was relapsing.
/u/RainbowDreamcorp
Created: Thu Dec 28 10:25:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mnyg3/only_when_my_hair_started_falling_out_did_i/
---
Not sure what sort of discussion could be created from this.. But I was just thinking about it and how a lot of what we do when engaging in our disorder is just habit and sort of way-of-life.
Dunno. What do y'all think?
[Other] I've been going through some things...
/u/starvingforbeauty [5'3 | 113 | F | UGW: 105]
Created: Thu Dec 28 10:13:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mnvkj/ive_been_going_through_some_things/
---
I lost a very close friend of mine a few months ago and my depression has been spiraling down even more since then. Anyway, I started drinking more often and I gained 6 pounds! Ugh, I even skip meals to accommodate the alcohol's calories but it is not working (◔_◔)
Anyone know of a **good** alcoholic drink with no calories or low calories? Thanks!
[Goal] Moved from acceptance stage to bargaining.
/u/dbt-girl [5'2" | 114]
Created: Thu Dec 28 10:01:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mnsil/moved_from_acceptance_stage_to_bargaining/
---
"Well I start a new job on the second. When I start work, I need to have the brainpower to do my job successfully. So I will start to eat carbs again then."
"I have to go to therapy, but I can wait to eat until a few hours before the appointment. I think it'll be ok." (never works)
"Well if I take my scale out of its hiding spot (therapist's instructions) and weigh myself just this once, this once, I promise myself I will go to McDonalds. I will force myself to eat McDonalds if I can just know. my. weight."
Tells boyfriend this.
"Oh yeah, I did the same kind of thing with my drinking. But then I had to decide: Do I want to stop or not?" EEK.
Patterns of human behavior, folks.
On the plus side, I HAD A LATTE WITH REAL MILK AND NON-SF SWEETENERS AND IT'S FUCKING TASTY.
Pray4me. After therapy, I really wanna go back to my same ole shit. Just survive this appointment, then restrict af. rinse&repeat.
People don't like shells, though. They like real people. I want to be a real person.
[Rant/Rave] Not even 10:30 and today was a disaster
/u/bennyanathin
Created: Thu Dec 28 09:33:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mnm3y/not_even_1030_and_today_was_a_disaster/
---
First post, don't know how to tag it on mobile.
Yesterday I ended up binging (surprise surprise) so today I decided to skip work so I could focus my energy on fasting. I work at a dunkin donuts so even when I'm not hungry, I'll stress eat donuts sometimes.
Anyway, my parents of course would have been furious if they knew I was skipping (which is justified because calling in for no good reason is an awful thing to do) so I told them I was sick and they took me to the doctor. There is nothing actually wrong of course, but they weighed me, and I'm guessing without clothes on, I've gained about 15 pounds on the past 6 weeks. I planned to lose 10 high restricting so nice.
Then, being me, I decide that I need to sneak out and buy binge food to have one last go at it (haaa like this won't happen again). Bought 4 donuts and a huge slice of cheesecake and a pint of Culver's custard. Ate 2.5 donuts a bite of cheesecake and two bites of custard. Somehow I then managed to stop and ruin it by throwing shampoo on it all. Too bad I spent like 20 dollars on all that food.
Winter break ends in a few days and I'll see all my college friends that I haven't seen since November. I look way bigger, especially my face, and the scale proves it.
I just want to be a different person most days.
[Other] Weighing out the pros and cons
/u/c_marier [5'6"| 110.2 17.8 | 23F]
Created: Thu Dec 28 09:22:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mnjnl/weighing_out_the_pros_and_cons/
---
ED Life Cons:
* Stomach cramps from not eating
* Stomach cramps from eating
* Being a lame person who tries to avoid "fun" eating events
* Crippling guilt 24/7
* Lying
* Insomnia
* Constant fatigue
* Being an awful SO for making my husband go through this with me
* Agonizing over stupid silly decisions that 99% of most people have no problem making without thinking twice
* Shin splints from over-exercising
* Being cold all the fucking time
* Low sex drive
* Isolating from friends, because this is such a 24/7 part of my life and I can't talk to anyone IRL about it (thank God for you all here!)
* Being sucked into an all-consuming vortex of misery
* Hating mirrors
* Hating clothing shopping
* Hating clothing
* Hating being naked
* Hating showers
* Hating myself
* Hating swimming pools
* Just a lot of hate, okay?
* Wasting time on trying to mimic actual starving people who would die for my life instead of, IDK, doing something worthwhile that might positively affect people around me and maybe even the world, but instead I was busy crying over the calorie count in peanuts.
* Hair loss
* Wasting food
* Did I mention being cold?
* Guilt about everything
ED Life Pros:
*
* ~~being skinny~~
* ???
... ED life it is.
Bronkaid anxiety?
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 205lbs | M]
Created: Thu Dec 28 08:55:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mndi4/bronkaid_anxiety/
---
I’m gigantic (6’2”, 205lbs) but one EC stack spikes my anxiety an unbelievable amount. I feel like it’s easier to restrict while using EC, but I also don’t want to feel like everything is falling apart.
[Rant/Rave] RAGE RANT and Looking for Support/Words of Wisdom/Distractions
/u/girlylimess
Created: Thu Dec 28 08:14:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mn4wm/rage_rant_and_looking_for_supportwords_of/
---
I’m dealing with the biggest ED trigger I’ve had in a long long time.....
Small bit of my big history - for as long as I can remember I’ve always dealt with ED to a certain degree, even as a kid I was very aware of my shape and size compared to other girls. I remember hating other girls that were skinnier than me, I was freaking 8! 🤦🏻♀️ Also have dealt with depression, anxiety, and OCD.
There’s been periods where everything was manageable and I felt ‘ok’ - normal - but there’s more times in my 29 years that the volume on all my disorders has been turned up. It’s been like a switchboard, sometimes the depression slider is all the way up, anxiety at halfway, ED low, and OCD null. Others it’s like they’re ALL pushed all the way to 11.
Through all this time I’ve noticed that relationships are a huge trigger for me (romantic, friendly, strangers)
A while ago (like well over a year ago) I left a toxic relationship - super manipulative and controlling guy, would accuse me of not being 100% faithful and ask me to delete guys on Facebook for liking/commenting my posts, would gaslight me, put me down and try to control anything I did or said. Blah blah blah he was a tool. Because I’m not super healthy mental-wise and got out sooner, I stayed with him for almost 2 years (almost 2 years too long). I went downhill fast. The volume turned up on everything to 11 and I started self mutilating again, I hadn’t done that since I was like 13. I started restricting too. Grasping for anything to gain control and ‘fix’ myself to make him happy with me.
Then finally, I got help. I left him. I felt 10000% better. Started dating a new guy. Things were moving in an amazing direction!
I’ve been off and on restricting, but not full blown like I have before. Everything felt manageable though.
Well, a couple weeks ago I find out he believes I was cheating on him and left him to be with another guy. And I find out he went harrrrrd with spreading this around.
A small part of me is like, hey, he’s super messed up and the only way he will FINALLY leave me alone is to hate me - so be it. But. The other 99% of me hates it. I hate him. And I want to rub it in his manipulative face that NO I never cheated on you, ever. I left you because I hated who I became and how I treated myself from being with you. And since I won’t do any of that...I’ve been getting more obsessive. I’ve been restricting. I’ve been creating my rules and routines. I’ve been doing everything I don’t want to do. But it’s sickly satisfying seeing the scale go down...
[Help] How do I stop binging at night?
/u/soosuen
Created: Thu Dec 28 07:56:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mn105/how_do_i_stop_binging_at_night/
---
I’m new and I’ve just been lurking around, but I think I need some advice. I’ve never been the type of person to heavily restrict, I consume about 650 a day excluding exercise. I have binge urges about once a week when I’m off work or when I’m bored, but I manage to overcome them either by sleeping or just smoking. However, when I do give in (3-5x a year), it always turns into a frenzy, and it never stops, not for a few weeks, at least. (I don’t purge, used to but I stopped).
I thought I could keep the urges at bay by upping my intake to 800 a day. It did work, but only for a while. Whenever I’m with people I don’t eat much, but when I’m alone and when everyone’s asleep I start ordering everything off a delivery menu.
How do I stop giving in to these urges? (Asides from drinking more water, making healthier choices, and not over-restricting after a binge).
Any help would be much appreciated!
[Discussion] Did your skin get more clear when fasting?
/u/themomofthegroup
Created: Thu Dec 28 07:29:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mmvv9/did_your_skin_get_more_clear_when_fasting/
---
I noticed a few weeks ago while I was eating little to no calories my skin was flawless. Now I am eating 800 calories a day (ugh holidays) and my skin is freaking out. What are your experiences with this?
Also, I follow a plant-based (vegan) diet.
[Rant/Rave] Supersize vs Superskinny just triggered me
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: prob 137, afraid of scale | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26F]
Created: Thu Dec 28 07:19:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mmu0j/supersize_vs_superskinny_just_triggered_me/
---
This girl has a BMI of 16.5 and eats 1800 calories a day.
"By only eating 1800 calories a day, she is undereating by 1400 calories a week, making it impossible for her to gain weight."
I know one person who would gain weight on 1800 calories a day and she's sitting right here typing this out.
Why can't I just be 5'8'' or be a cross country runner or a body builder or a dancer? Why can't I just be somewhat athletically inclined or even enjoy working out? I have to force myself to go to the gym and half of the time I'm too depressed because it's the winter, so I just restrict more and more because I'm not working out. If I ate over 1500, I would gain weight because I work in an office and then I just go home and chill and try not to eat and play videogames.
WHY MUST I BE SO SMALL AND STILL SO BIG
[Rant/Rave] Breakfast of Champions
/u/KitteeChaos
Created: Thu Dec 28 06:24:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mmkj6/breakfast_of_champions/
---
[removed]
Day 3 of post Christmas fast. Breakfast of champions
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 28 06:10:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mmicb/day_3_of_post_christmas_fast_breakfast_of/
---
https://i.redd.it/gqd66grcxn601.jpg
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support December 28, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Dec 28 05:11:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mm8xv/weekly_emotional_support_december_28_2017/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! December 28, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Dec 28 05:10:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mm8qa/daily_food_diary_december_28_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 28, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] Motivating stuff to watch?
/u/ViceroyInTheMorning [5'5'' | CW ☹️ | BMI 👹 | GW: 119 | F 20]
Created: Thu Dec 28 05:01:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mm7kr/motivating_stuff_to_watch/
---
After 5 days of eating too much I’m trying to get back on track. Fasting today and then back to the 500kcal a day. I’m having a hard time though and what I usually do is browse this sub but I’ve read every post already and now I need movies/shows/videos to watch. Preferably on YouTube or Netflix and maybe not thinspo-y because that just makes me feel bad cause I will never look like that. Thanks!
even porn ads know im fat
/u/ikren [5'5 | hw-280 cw-204 gw- 130]
Created: Thu Dec 28 04:43:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mm50m/even_porn_ads_know_im_fat/
---
[removed]
[Other] I think I'm going to kill myself
/u/glorydaisy [5'3 | CW 118 | UGW 100]
Created: Thu Dec 28 03:38:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mlwa7/i_think_im_going_to_kill_myself/
---
I'd give myself til maybe July. It's far enough in the future that I don't feel afraid. Still, there is a tiny imperceptible feeling of urgency. Like I have to warn myself that I'm not safe? That this isn't going to go the way I think? That experience doesn't make me wiser when the landscape I'm trying to traverse is constantly changing. Relapses don't get easier just because I've already done it a million times.
July seems likely. I think I'm gonna crack. I don't even know what to do with this information.
[Rant/Rave] Struggling
/u/crybabyyyy [165cm|CW:58kg|GW:45kg|F]
Created: Thu Dec 28 01:22:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mletp/struggling/
---
Sorry if this makes no sense:
I’ve basically realised that I’m all alone, the person who I consider my best (and only close) friend has other best friends and I feel like she only considers me a nuisance because I always rant about my family to her and I always cling onto her. I’m also frustrated because I’ve told her this and then she got upset and I had to be the one to comfort her, rather than her comforting me for feeling that way? I feel like I can’t rely on anyone, not even myself because I hate myself, and the only thing I can rely on is my disordered eating. But even that isn’t reliable and I’m just so so sick of everything.
Essentially, I’m just an annoying bitch that can’t do anything but rely on the unreliability of my disordered eating 🙃
[Other] I made a song/soundscape about depression
/u/runjumpflip [5'3 | CW 110 | 19.5 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 28 01:11:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mlddk/i_made_a_songsoundscape_about_depression/
---
Hey guys, so I know this isn't really the "right" sub for this kinda stuff, but this song was really influenced a lot by my ED and depression. It's the first one I've put up on bandcamp and I don't really feel comfortable sharing it with anyone I know in real life, so I dunno, give it a listen? Tell me what you think. I know the recording quality is trash but yeah hahah.
Love you guys.
Here's the link:
https://oliviacortens.bandcamp.com/releases
[Rant/Rave] I love that my mum can't cook
/u/caithaa [5'7 | 120 | 18.78 | 20F 🌼]
Created: Thu Dec 28 00:00:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ml32p/i_love_that_my_mum_cant_cook/
---
I'm home for the holidays, so my mum is cooking. For some reason, she won't allow me (at all) to help her cook or cook for myself, but she's actually an awful cook. I love her and would never comment on her cooking, she'd be so embarrassed, but I literally cannot eat her food. Her family was poor growing up, so she has a don't-waste-anything mentality, to the point where she'll use ingredients that have gone bad months ago.
I love omelettes, so this morning she surprised me with my fave omelette, which is ham and cheese. It looked amazing and here I was about to consume easily 400 calories (like a 4-egg, lots of ham and cheese, plus lathered in oil type of omelette, it was literally shining). However, she used feta cheese, and it had obviously gone bad (it smelled really bad), so I couldn't eat more than a bite. I instead had some tomatoes, cucumbers, and straight up cheese, around 100 calories in total, and told her "I just feel so sick all of a sudden."
Kinda sad because I was really looking forward to eating that beautiful shiny yummy omelette, but also happy because *look at all these calories I saved~~~*
[Rant/Rave] Worst Binge Cycle Since Pre-Weight Loss
/u/SomeoneCoolerThanYou [5'6" | CW 148.2 | -38.8 lbs | UGW 107 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Dec 27 23:59:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ml2xc/worst_binge_cycle_since_preweight_loss/
---
Since April of this year and the last time I weighed myself (early December), I've lost ~42 lbs.
Since the peak of finals at the beginning of December to now, I have just totally lost control.
I can't stop. I'm so suicidal and it just makes everything worse. I've spent all day every day stoned which doesn't help battle cravings, but I can't bare being alive without some sort of substance.
I'm so fucking poor. I spend all my money on food, weed, alcohol, and molly that I don't have anything left for shit like gas, presents for loved ones, supplies/books for next semester.
I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do. I took my scale home over the winter break but I would rather shoot myself than step on it.
I need to get back to my dorm to regain some sense of control, but the idea of having to sober up and go back to school has been triggering my anxiety attacks nonstop.
I want to die. But I want to be skinny. But I want to die now. But I don't want to die a fat ass.
[Rant/Rave] It’s finally here and I didn’t meet my goals.
/u/vondahl [5’6 | cw: 115 | gw: 105 | 25F]
Created: Wed Dec 27 23:35:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mkz8r/its_finally_here_and_i_didnt_meet_my_goals/
---
I’m leaving for vacation this Friday and I’ll be some place very warm, which means shorts, dresses, bathing suits, etc. I’ve been dreading this all year.
Trying to be “positive “ I don’t look *awful* and normal people tell me I’m skinny / have a nice body so why am I so upset still?
I’ve been desperately wanting to hit my UGW before this vacation but I struggle with the whole cycle of restrict-binge-purge-repeat. I end up maintaining my weight most of the time..
I’ve been not only eating normal-people calories since Sunday but then ate like a human dumpster Monday through today. I’m so upset at myself for not only NOT hitting my goal but then binging for three days before my vacation like wtf is wrong with me! I guess PMS doesn’t help with the bloating and binge urges.
Tomorrow I have to have to have to fast and then I’ll be traveling all Friday so that will make it easy to not eat. Saturday is NYE so I’ll be drinking but I’ll keep my food light and eat lots of fruit, and try to keep this up all vacation. I packed workout clothes too and we walk everywhere so that will help...
How much weight can I lose before 2018?? I hate this idea of feeling ashamed and self conscious any day but then while I’m supposed to be enjoying vacation?
Sorry I just had to vent. I’m so upset and have no one to talk to. I just wanted to look perfect for my vacation and don’t at all.
[Discussion] OCD and/or ED
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 27 22:59:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mkt6r/ocd_andor_ed/
---
[deleted]
[Help] New to proED
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 27 21:58:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mki8l/new_to_proed/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I hate when plans fall through
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 | CW 141 | 23.74| F]
Created: Wed Dec 27 21:46:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mkg9f/i_hate_when_plans_fall_through/
---
I have been fasting all day then decided “hey man you deserve some lo cal ramen” so I get to the store and they are out of that vegan ramen I really like! So I’m like great fine I won’t eat. But then I’m thinking about my vegan butter and milk in the fridge so decided on a small mashed potato, but hen I go to the pantry we are all out of potatoes. Whatever guess the world wants me to not eat today. Sounds good!!!!
[Rant/Rave] All the alcohol drank
/u/ObservingSilence
Created: Wed Dec 27 21:22:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mkboh/all_the_alcohol_drank/
---
I finished my bottle of rum so I would be out; of which triggered a binge on my lowest weight since pregnancy. Now I just have to avoid on buying anymore liquor. Why do I do this to myself? 🙃
What would you do if you did a big sneeze, which ejected all the fat from your body out of your nose at once?
/u/ketometer
Created: Wed Dec 27 21:19:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mkb4u/what_would_you_do_if_you_did_a_big_sneeze_which/
---
[Discussion] anyone else convince themselves low cal food is good?
/u/h8bb
Created: Wed Dec 27 21:12:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mk9q7/anyone_else_convince_themselves_low_cal_food_is/
---
god knows how much i used to hate almond milk but then my ed developed and now regular milk disgusts me!!! same with a lot of other foods tbh
[Discussion] How long into your ED did you notice any physical change in your body/mind?
/u/IrritatedIntrovert
Created: Wed Dec 27 21:09:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mk9ai/how_long_into_your_ed_did_you_notice_any_physical/
---
[Discussion] Does anyone else use your ED to feel safe?
/u/DiplomaticTootle
Created: Wed Dec 27 20:37:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mk35x/does_anyone_else_use_your_ed_to_feel_safe/
---
Does anyone else struggle with any other mental illnesses besides your ED?
My OCD/hypochondria gets so bad that I cope with my ED. It's the only thing I can mentally control and it takes my focus away from my other mental illnesses. I feel like I'm in control of my brain again.
[Help] Today my OA sponsor told me a hard truth
/u/SpaceWhale88 [Height 5'3 | CW 180ish | HW/LW 197/118lbs | GW 136]
Created: Wed Dec 27 20:22:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mk0bf/today_my_oa_sponsor_told_me_a_hard_truth/
---
OA wont help my depression. I dont know what else to do to fix how hopeless I feel. I already take meds. What's the point of recovery if I still feel like shit all the time?
[Help] please help me add: how many calories does this look like?!
/u/gross9876 [5' 3" | 120 | 🐳 | -24 Lost | tf is "gender"]
Created: Wed Dec 27 20:05:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mjww0/please_help_me_add_how_many_calories_does_this/
---
I know I added 1/3 cup tomato (30 cal) and 1/3 cup onion. I didn't count the corn or beans though cause I'm so fucking hungry 😫
https://imgur.com/a/AusQ9
[Goal] Juice Fast Recipes
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 27 19:53:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mjuon/juice_fast_recipes/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mjuon/juice_fast_recipes/
[Rant/Rave] Got criticized at work, and used food to vent and now I am so mad at myself
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 27 19:32:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mjqdi/got_criticized_at_work_and_used_food_to_vent_and/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] From ED to bulking. Anyone ever been here?
/u/latex55
Created: Wed Dec 27 19:18:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mjnpi/from_ed_to_bulking_anyone_ever_been_here/
---
I'm mid 30s male. 5'10.5 and 160 lbs currently. I'm very broad shouldered and big boned. Use to be 220 and started running 8-9 miles per day and got down to 140.
My wife and family had a talk with me and people thought I was sick. I hired a trainer and began to bulk 18 months ago. Goal was to gain to 175 through a lean muscle program.
My trainer wanted me to increase my calories to 3,200 a day(I had been at 3k), and I did gain muscle but when I weighed myself throughout the year it said my BF had gone from 7% to 11%
My most recent weigh in said I was at 11.7% and I mentally freaked out. I cut my calories back to 2800/2900 and now my jeans and shirts are loose again
I'm struggling to get stronger and I'm always tired. I find it so hard mentally to add more calories to grow muscle because I'm so afraid of gaining fat. I instantly think I'll go back to 220lbs.
I love to eat and I'm so afraid of having that go away because I'm too fat. Anyone ever been here? I have 15 more lbs to go and I'm afraid to get there
[Other] TFW you're always cold
/u/runjumpflip [5'3 | CW 110 | 19.5 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 27 18:42:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mjgjg/tfw_youre_always_cold/
---
I'm wearing a turtleneck under a t-shirt under a flannel, socks, leggings, and sweatpants INDOORS and I'm still freezing. And the awful thing is I'm kinda proud of it.
[Discussion] Stomach hurts/Always nauseous?
/u/Brizyse [5'5"|CW:Too Many|UGW:115|17F]
Created: Wed Dec 27 18:04:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mj92b/stomach_hurtsalways_nauseous/
---
Hey so I've been wondering about this but I haven't seen it mentioned before. I get nauseous very easy when I haven't eaten in a while, but I always drink tons of fluids and I'm wondering if the water on an empty stomach is too much?? Can you get sick from drinking too much liquid? I eat around 800cal a day and it doesn't make sense that I'll be nauseous while some of you guys are able to fast for days. Do you feel nauseous while fasting too? Do any of you know how I can fix this?
[Discussion] Any of you do keto, low carb , etc?
/u/going0n
Created: Wed Dec 27 17:34:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mj2no/any_of_you_do_keto_low_carb_etc/
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First of all, hey. I've lurked here a bit but just made an official account.
So which of you stay away from
carbs? And what range is your bmi in that case?
I've heard of great success with people who say no to simple carbs and sugars and apparently don't count calories.. which is SCaRY AF but also seems too good to be true. Unfortunately seems like most who have success with keto were obese to begin with and become average to overweight range...
Thoughts?
Where do you get EC stacks and how much do you take?
/u/taicapzen
Created: Wed Dec 27 16:51:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mitik/where_do_you_get_ec_stacks_and_how_much_do_you/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Is eating 900-1000 calories a day sustainable?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 27 16:50:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mitdu/is_eating_9001000_calories_a_day_sustainable/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mitdu/is_eating_9001000_calories_a_day_sustainable/
[Help] Underweight and HIGH levels of *free* testosterone
/u/wakeupmrwestt [5'6.5" | BMI: 17.4]
Created: Wed Dec 27 16:49:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mit3r/underweight_and_high_levels_of_free_testosterone/
---
Hi, so I have not updated my flair but I have been maintaining a BMI of 16.5 .
I lost my period last March, when I gave up taking birth control, and have not gotten it since.
At my yearly OBGYN visit, my doctor was not to concerned about my loss of period due to my weight and high activity level (I'm a runner) but recommended I go for blood work --which I did.
My results came back indicating I have high *free* testosterone levels, has anyone every had this?
How can I lower my free testosterone level naturally? Is this a big deal?
Any advice is appreciated as I am worried because I do not want high testosterone levels... I've read it leads to weight gain in the stomach and hair loss... :(
[Rant/Rave] Fasting all day
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 | CW 141 | 23.74| F]
Created: Wed Dec 27 16:33:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mipwb/fasting_all_day/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Baby Rabies
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Wed Dec 27 16:21:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mina6/baby_rabies/
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My sister and sister in law had their first children this year. I've had hard baby rabies ever since.
I spoke to my husband about it and I said we should start trying December 2019. He barely looked up from his phone because I bring this shit up all the time.
Having a family is all I think about and it all came crashing down on me today when I tried to talk to him about something and he said looking into that stuff was pointless as legislation could change in two years.
After he went to work I broke down and realised just like eating I can't do anything in moderation. I'm all or nothing. I'm eating or I'm not. I'm having a baby or I'm not.
So now I'm not. I deleted the baby pinterest board, I unsubscribed from the subs and I'm not thinking about it for two years.
I'm going to focus on holidays and fasting to look great on those holidays 😔
I'm sorry. I know this doesn't belong in this sub but I felt like the people in the baby blogs would think I was a nutcase.
[Discussion] how aren’t “normal” people obese?
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Wed Dec 27 15:53:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7migwf/how_arent_normal_people_obese/
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like think about the calories in one pizza? and they will have that as ONE meal? and snacks? the amount of stuff people eat and the types blows my mind how do they do it????
[Other] Went to CVS and feel like I just bought the most obvious ED items plus “oh she’s a usual”
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Wed Dec 27 15:38:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mid9u/went_to_cvs_and_feel_like_i_just_bought_the_most/
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Went into CVS and I feel like I bought some type of ED beauty box....🙃🧠
diet pills, lax, face wash, and mouth wash b/c my purging has really increased again.
There was a new girl training at the register and they ask you for ID for the diet pills, the lady training her and another co-worker say “oh it’s okay she’s a regular.” I do go there a lot for lax. But don’t really know them.
Have I become found out. I left just laughing in my head about how fucked up I’ve become. I’m not upset really (kinda glad I can afford the diet pills again, boyfriend flushed my others) but I just imagine these CVS ladies snickering about me. Oh that crazy girl.
On the positive I bought a really nice set of hair extensions for my thinning hair 😂🙃 but I kinda feel confident about this one thing! Fake hair!🤦🏻♀️😂
[Help] DAE have constant headaches when restricting?
/u/orthoreXXX [22F | 5’4” | cw 120lb | gw 110lb | bmi 21]
Created: Wed Dec 27 15:23:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mia64/dae_have_constant_headaches_when_restricting/
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My head hurts so bad all the time in this one particular side every time I restrict, and aspirin doesn’t help at all. I have to have all the lights off in my apartment because it gets so bad.
If you have them too, how do you deal with them without it ruining your entire day? I just had to leave the gym after like 20 minutes because I couldn’t focus and my head hurt like crazy.
[Rant/Rave] There's no better feeling
/u/poppybex
Created: Wed Dec 27 14:45:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mi1kn/theres_no_better_feeling/
---
[removed]
[Other] WhoOoOOosh
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 27 14:44:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mi195/whoooooosh/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] what’s everyone’s TDEE?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 27 13:21:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mhi7z/whats_everyones_tdee/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mhi7z/whats_everyones_tdee/
[Rant/Rave] it’s been an awful day
/u/underandoverwhelmed
Created: Wed Dec 27 13:16:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mhh8l/its_been_an_awful_day/
---
my boyfriend of eight years ended things with me today. I am alone, and I am triggered. I don’t even know what to say beyond that. mostly just looking for support in every way possible.
[Tip] New low cal coffee find for those who can't drink it black
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: prob 139, Xmas binging | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26F]
Created: Wed Dec 27 13:13:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mhgfv/new_low_cal_coffee_find_for_those_who_cant_drink/
---
2/3 coffee, 1/3 hot water (for me - our office's coffee is Starbucks dark roast and it is disgusting. Use a full cup of coffee if you have good coffee) and a packet of Swiss Miss sugar free hot chocolate. 60-65 calories (60 for the SF Swiss miss, 3-5 for the coffee.)
My usual coffee is 105. Will be doing this regularly. Is delicious and feels indulgent AF.
[Other] Thank f**k for routine
/u/Eau_De_Chloroform
Created: Wed Dec 27 12:30:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mh6kk/thank_fk_for_routine/
---
All of the holiday sugar bullshit is given away. I've given all the leftovers to people and animals. The snacks are all dropped off at work. Soon the discount candy canes and chocolate won't even be in the store aisles.
And now I sit here. By myself. With my 300 cal bowl of food for the day, 6th cup of tea, watching Supersize vs Superskinny.
And things finally feel right again.
[Other] Some end of year ED reflections...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 27 12:22:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mh4ii/some_end_of_year_ed_reflections/
---
[deleted]
[Goal] I <3 wine
/u/MooMooOinkOink [current BMI 20/ 1st goal BMI 18.5]
Created: Wed Dec 27 11:54:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mgy6l/i_3_wine/
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I can't seem to shake this last 10lbs,no matter what I do. It's because of wine. I love wine. I skip meals to have a glass or two, but then I am just tipsy and hungry. I am going to do some serious fasting/restricting (coffee, chicken broth and coconut water) and no wine the rest of the week. I do an accountability weigh in every year, on Dec.31st. I know I will be heart broke. Wish me luck!!
[Rant/Rave] Stomach Virus on Christmas
/u/fieryanxiety [5'7" | CW 119 | BMI 19| HW 159 | GW 110]
Created: Wed Dec 27 11:26:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mgrmt/stomach_virus_on_christmas/
---
So, I came down with the most horrendous stomach virus at about 7pm on Christmas. It was bad, guys. This is the stuff nightmares are made of. Fever, hallucinations, violent "gastrointestinal distress" (euphemism of the century) Woke up the next morning and had lost 3 pounds overnight. Worth it? Absolutely not. But still. Noteworthy. And the fact that I managed to crawl out of bed just to weigh myself is certainly a testament to how truly fucked up eating disorders are. So yeah, hope you guys had a better Christmas than I did.
[Discussion] Our ED/DEs as Identity: What are your “staples?”
/u/dbt-girl [5'2" | 114]
Created: Wed Dec 27 11:11:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mgo16/our_eddes_as_identity_what_are_your_staples/
---
Lately I’ve seen some great discussion about how an eating disorder becomes part of our identity. All I can say is.... Preach, sistas and brothas.
But truthfully, it makes me shiver just a bit. I want to tell my ED, “Fuck you, ED! It’s over, I’ll get myself a new identity 😤” and then I’m still at my shit the next day.
Today started with, “I am going to have a real latte with real milk and pumps of caramely goodness,” and has progressed to no latte and quest bar+zero cal energy drink.
But as I’m at the store buying my MIO+electrolytes, quest bar, and *pork rinds* (don’t ask), I’m just freaked out at how... identified... I feel. I look at the almost-empty rack of MIO+electros and think, “I bet all the other ED girls took the rest” and it’s just... what? I feel that movement, that wrapped up *part* that feels this *false belonging* cause guess what? I gotta be honest, idk any of those supposed “ED Electro-MIO” people, so why do I identify with them and......more importantly, this object?
So that was my story, so sorry to ramble. Guilty as charged for rambling. But it got my thinking:
**What objects do you tie to your identity as a disordered eater?**
Feels like there’s probably something a little wrong going on here 🤔
[Rant/Rave] Having a crush makes restricting so much easier, but I'm dependent on it now
/u/snapethrowaway
Created: Wed Dec 27 11:02:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mgm0s/having_a_crush_makes_restricting_so_much_easier/
---
I have a massive crush on my friend, and I hardly eat on days that we see each other. Which is pretty much every day. Last night we went to the movies, and he wanted popcorn so we split it (I ate only as little as I could get away with). I hadn't eaten before that, and I didn't eat after he drove me home, and now it's 9 pm the next day and I hadn't eaten yet either because he called me earlier today and I'm listening to the music I associate with him, and it's easy.
It's like wanting to be more desirable to him overrides my body's survival instincts. When I'm with him I simply don't feel hunger. However if I don't see him for a couple days, it becomes a struggle again, and it's so much harder to cope with eating now that I have external motivation on top of my internal mental fucked-up-ness. I promised myself I would never purge, only restrict, but I've nearly crossed the line a couple times.
Before he came along it was moderately hard to restrict, but there were no ups and downs, it was mostly an even road. Now I just bounce back and forth. It's exhausting.
[Other] Thoughts on sizing
/u/gothqueeen [5’7 | 156.7 | F/20 | GW: 130]
Created: Wed Dec 27 10:54:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mgk25/thoughts_on_sizing/
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I’ve spent most of my teenage years wearing L and XL sweaters, tshirts, etc. While I do like my clothing to be baggy, it also hurts me to go clothes shopping because I *know* I will never wear a medium or small. I cry when I have to reach for XXL.
I just can’t wait for the day that I *can* pick up a small or medium and it’ll fit perfectly when I try it on. I’ve never been able to do that. I hope it feels good when the day comes. I have such a long way to go before I get to that point.
[Help] Low calorie restaurant options in Edinburgh?
/u/edthrowawaywhoops [5'9"| CW: 130| GW: Kate Middleton| F|🍑:Whoopsie]
Created: Wed Dec 27 10:52:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mgjfy/low_calorie_restaurant_options_in_edinburgh/
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Going to be in Edinburgh for a week starting Friday and we’re renting an apartment so will be able to cook most of our own meals but it’s my first time traveling where I’m not on a super tight budget so I DO want to go out to eat a couple times ...but am stressing about not knowing calorie counts- any proED’ers out there familiar with Edinburgh restaurants with low cal options or UK restaurant chains with posted calorie counts?
[Rant/Rave] Finally a believer in the whoosh!
/u/e_liz [5'7 | 152 | 23.81 | -83 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 27 10:21:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mgc33/finally_a_believer_in_the_whoosh/
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On mobile, mods please flair as rant/rave?
Been restricting for awhile now and have read of many people upping their intake for a day to get the scale moving in the right direction again after a plateau. I always thought it would definitely not work for me so I never tried it. Well, after eating less than 1,000 every day since like July, my weight was stuck & it was really aggravating. I finally gave in & ate Christmas dinner. Was super anxious about it the whole time because I thought I would for sure gain because of it, but the next day I woke up & lost 2 pounds! The whoosh is a real thing you guys & sometimes unexpected meals might trigger it I guess???
[Rant/Rave] I got a size large coat as a gift.
/u/DiplomaticTootle
Created: Wed Dec 27 09:52:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mg5fr/i_got_a_size_large_coat_as_a_gift/
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I know I should be thankful that I got anything at all, but I received a size large coat for Christmas from my mother-in-law. I ADORE the coat. It's beautiful, but I told my relative in the store earlier this year the medium fit me. She decided I needed one size up and said, "I really felt like this one would fit you better, so I went ahead with the large."
It bothers me so much. I keep thinking about it. I know I can exchange it, but I can't shake that she thinks I'm a large. (I honestly probably am.)
She also has a daughter, my sister-in-law, that is exactly the same age as me that has went from an underweight bmi (104 lbs) to a healthy one (132lbs) and she's 5'4". My MIL is constantly talking about how much weight she's gained the last two years and how she needs to be careful. I went Christmas shopping with her for my SIL and she was going on and on about buying a medium for her. Now all I can think about is how she probably was disgusted that she bought me a large.
I've honestly been on the line with fully relapsing for about a year now. I have been recovered for 5 years, but It's little things like getting a large coat for Christmas (the time of year I feel fattest) that can send me over the edge. I feel so incredibly triggered and I haven't been able to eat today. I don't know. I'm really sad I guess.
[Rant/Rave] Home for the holidays
/u/axolotov
Created: Wed Dec 27 09:21:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mfy9c/home_for_the_holidays/
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[removed]
[Help] Does anyone know of good habit forming/breaking apps?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 27 09:05:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mfuss/does_anyone_know_of_good_habit_formingbreaking/
---
[deleted]
[Help] Hangover food?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 113.6 | UGW: 102lbs | Peach: LobsterMacNCheese]
Created: Wed Dec 27 09:00:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mftkp/hangover_food/
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I'm hungover today because it's a Wednesday and that's totally normal. All I want is a delicious something or other from Mcdonalds or Starbucks or something greasy and disgusting. Please help with alternatives.
P.S. If you guys recommend fruits and veggies I'm gonna flip a table.
[Help] Those of you who never/rarely binge, what is your daily diet like?
/u/thinandmint [5' | 105 | GW 90 | 🍑 thinandmint ]
Created: Wed Dec 27 08:21:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mfldm/those_of_you_who_neverrarely_binge_what_is_your/
---
I'm pretty sure my binging is a response to fasting but I've never been able to get high restriction right. I was wondering if you guys had any tips to be less all/nothing about eating.
[Other] The holidays are over so I guess I'm back on my bullshit
/u/counting-the-seconds
Created: Wed Dec 27 07:30:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mfb7j/the_holidays_are_over_so_i_guess_im_back_on_my/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Not ready for full recovery but I’m going to try to take a huge leap
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Wed Dec 27 07:12:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mf7ye/not_ready_for_full_recovery_but_im_going_to_try/
---
I’ve had a crappy week, hurt my foot, grandma died, Christmas food poisoning. I woke up today and it’s supposed to be back to 12 hours exercise and high restriction but I’m just so tired of this and want to stop. I dreamt of getting out of bed, making breakfast and enjoying it with tea and my dogs and it sounded so amazing. I’m scared to death but I’m going to try for the next week - no exercise, eat what I want when I want to hunger and satiety (no fighting carbs, no food scale, no tracking and estimating pounds gained), no cutting back on my planned New Year’s Eve weekend cooking plans because I can’t compensate with exercise, just living and indulging if it happens without freaking out and doing 5 hours of cardio. I’m terrified but this life is too exhausting. If I gain I can lose later. For now, I can try to be good to myself and stop living in a daily hell. I didn’t know where else to go because I can’t exactly tell anyone I know this as they just won’t get it but people here do. For those who have been through recovery, how do you deal with the constant thoughts of doing the wrong thing?
[Rant/Rave] Did anyone else NOT make it through the Holiday without binging?
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: prob 139, Xmas binging | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26F]
Created: Wed Dec 27 06:39:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mf255/did_anyone_else_not_make_it_through_the_holiday/
---
I swear to god I ate 3,000 calories every day Friday - yesterday. Everyone gave me candy. Everyone. Everyone who knows I'm intentionally not eating a lot and that I'm still overweight. We had to go to 5 different family meals. I resigned myself to eating because there's no way I could just reject every single meal but I way overdid it. I didn't eat any more than anyone else did, probably a little less at some of the meals, but I feel like shit and I can't even look at the scale. I ate so much chocolate. I ate an entire pint of Breyer's Delights last night, half a Hershey's gold bar, and half of a dark chocolate with almonds king size Hershey's bar after having a pretty good day before that. I need the candy to be out of the house but the rest of it is my boyfriend's because I'm disgusting and ate almost everything that was given to me. I feel like I have to start off from where I was 2-3 weeks ago and I've undone all of my hard work in 4 days and I feel like total shit about myself. When I weighed myself on Christmas after having a coffee, with clothes, I was 141. I was 137 on Friday morning. I hate myself.
I'm planning to go back to normal today and start back off with a 1200 week because I feel like if I try to go for under 1000 I'm going to fail because that shit is still in my house.
Someone tell me this isn't permanent and I can undo it and it's not going to take me a month to get off 4 days of food. I know at least one or two of these pounds is real fat because I know I overate my TDEE by at least 3500 overall from Friday-Monday.
I hate myself and I feel disgusting and like such a failure.
[Rant/Rave] My mom bought me a large shirt for Christmas.
/u/meowmeowmemow [5'7 | 🐳 | BMI:23 | GW:115lb | F]
Created: Wed Dec 27 06:19:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mez0k/my_mom_bought_me_a_large_shirt_for_christmas/
---
So, for most of my life I was at a pretty healthy weight. About a BMI of 20.5. I'm a little taller, so gaining and losing weight doesn't mean much unless it's significant.
I'm Korean, and being thin is pretty standardized and ideal.
I started this birth control, and well, I thought I was able to overcome one of the side effects - which was weight gain because of increased hunger, but yeah, no. I gained about 20 pounds over the past year or so.
Well, at the same time, I had a lot of stress because my parents actually harassed a LOT me about my weight. My dad who normally doesn't comment about my appearance was telling me how my face was incredibly bloated
I began to fast for days without eating, especially that Christmas was coming up.
My boyfriend came over and we were opening presents. I was trying to be thoughtful with each of my family members present, trying to decide what to get for them, spending hours researching and shit.
Ok, well, when I receive my gift from my mom I get a $10 Large t-shirt. She says, I got you a large cuz you can't fit into a small anymore.
It was so incredibly humiliating. I was so hurt and upset, especially when I didn't anything for days prior. I forced a smile and went upstairs and didn't come back downstairs.
I spent $200 on gifts for my family and all I can feel is how much I hate them, and how much I want to give up.
And she didn't feel like there was anything wrong with her gift. Christmas was another way of telling me how much of a fatty I am.
I fucking get that, I get told like 3x a day from them, I already switched my BC and started EC stacks so I don't have to eat anymore.
I'm sick of this, I just want to lose weight so my parents can leave me alone.
My mom was even trying to get my boyfriend to agree with her, asking him why he's still with me.
I hate this.
I got hungry at 4am so I took some ephedrine and caffeine so I don't have to deal with these hunger pangs.., can't sleep and all I'm doing is looking at thinspo hoping something will change
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! December 27, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Dec 27 05:12:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7meoiy/daily_food_diary_december_27_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 27, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday December 27, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Dec 27 05:10:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7meoc2/way_to_go_wednesday_december_27_2017/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for December 27, 2017.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Other] Low cal rice recipes
/u/Fantasisingfunerals [117 | BMI: 17.9 | 17]
Created: Wed Dec 27 03:47:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mectz/low_cal_rice_recipes/
---
Hello! Has anyone got any low cal rice recipes to share? I adore rice and would like to spice things up
[Rant/Rave] Stuck.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 27 02:53:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7me5j3/stuck/
---
[deleted]
[Help] Girlfriend Knows About ED- How Can I Make Her Think I'm Better?
/u/BadTransfiguration
Created: Wed Dec 27 02:20:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7me17s/girlfriend_knows_about_ed_how_can_i_make_her/
---
[removed]
[Help] Transitioning from b/p to restricting?
/u/princesspeachybutt [5'10| CW: 134 | GW:120 | f]
Created: Wed Dec 27 00:55:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mdq3e/transitioning_from_bp_to_restricting/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Holy fuck I've been binging since the 22nd! halp
/u/BRVP_Throwaway [18M|5'8"|HW 220|CW 167🐳|BMI 25.10|GW140]
Created: Wed Dec 27 00:41:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mdo7f/holy_fuck_ive_been_binging_since_the_22nd_halp/
---
Now I'm up 6 pounds since the LW for this month (and this year) :(
Probably gonna fast tomorrow or just do OMAD for a while
I was also at my GW for the New Year and now I've got to lose this weight in ~5 days fuuuuuUUUUUUUCK
also have an interview coming up for something I've been really looking forward to and my anxiety will be killing me because of low self esteem because I can't fucking control myself and stop being a fat fuck
(sorry for the lack of coherence and everything else, I'm sleep deprived and I'm obviously freaking out)
[Rant/Rave] Feeling Like I Live in a Stranger's Body
/u/PineapplePrincezz [Height: 5'2.5" | CW 104 and fat AF| BMI: 18.54 |LW: 81.5| F]
Created: Wed Dec 27 00:40:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mdo5o/feeling_like_i_live_in_a_strangers_body/
---
So I used to be in the 80's (anywhere from 86-89 was my maintenance for a long time)
Then I all of a sudden gained ten pounds, literally out of nowhere, putting my weight up to 92-95 range for a good three months. This ended up being ok since I was still underweight.
But then shit hit the fan. I woke up one morning and the scale had put three more pounds on me compared to the morning before. I was all of a sudden 101 lbs, and this was NOT ok.
Fast forward to today, eating LESS THAN I did at 86 or 95lbs, I am weighing in around 103 on the average morning and I am actually losing my fucking mind because I don't know where my weight all of a sudden took a turn for the worst, considering I hadn't changed my diet or exercise.
Has this happened to anyone else???
Does anyone have any advice if they've overcome this??
[Discussion] What are you doing right now?
/u/villagethief
Created: Wed Dec 27 00:27:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mdmal/what_are_you_doing_right_now/
---
Currently I’m laying in bed eating a bowl full of chocolate icing :(, watching the Office, and self-loathing.
[Discussion] fucking t-mobile/netflix commercial
/u/intensitei [5’8 | fat | 23F]
Created: Tue Dec 26 23:21:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mdc68/fucking_tmobilenetflix_commercial/
---
“BINGE MORE!”
how bout fuck u, netflix
y’all seen this shit? i also hate how the phrase “binge-watching” has become so mainstream and i hear the word “binge” nonstop so i can be reminded how gross and gluttonous i am lololol
[Rant/Rave] Fuck I just gotta stay strong for 5 days
/u/davincisunflower
Created: Tue Dec 26 23:07:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7md9ut/fuck_i_just_gotta_stay_strong_for_5_days/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] My mom was 50lbs lighter than me on her wedding day.
/u/LiamNeesonsMegaCock [5'4'' | CW: 145 lbs | 25.38 | GW: 105 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Dec 26 23:03:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7md9b7/my_mom_was_50lbs_lighter_than_me_on_her_wedding/
---
My mom was exactly my age when she married my wonderful dad. I noticed years ago when I started having food issues how gorgeous her collar bones are in her wedding photos. She’s my height, my same build, except way prettier.
We were looking at old wedding pictures and she mentioned with disgust “I was so stressed out, I lost too much weight. I was only 106 lbs”.
It’s genuine distaste on her part for how thin she was. No hint of competition, or passive aggression on my own weight. She is nothing but loving and accepting and completely uninterested in my weight, as long as I’m happy and healthy.
So then why the fuck is 105 cemented in my head like some sick goal weight competition with my mother? Because I just have to be 1 lb lighter than her lowest adult weight, obviously, because fuck me. I wish she had never said a number. But she’s so sweet I don’t think she had any idea what she was doing.
Anyone else have really weird goal weights where you’re in a competition with someone else who doesn’t know it?
[Discussion] DAE feel oddly content during this holiday season?
/u/renewtheplaintiff [5'3 | 103 | BMI 19.3 | F23]
Created: Tue Dec 26 21:58:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mcy91/dae_feel_oddly_content_during_this_holiday_season/
---
This is my 4th day of binging - cocktails, desserts, tofurky, stuffing, SO MUCH bread, cookies, egg nog, etc. Regularly I would feel like shit. I haven't weighed myself in 5 days, avoided wearing tight clothes, haven't even looked at my body in the shower. I guess I'm trying to blissfully "ignore" my ED by constantly telling myself that once the holidays are over, I'll get back on track. Right back into restricting (including RawTill4, IF, HCLF).. and this gives me quite a bit of hope. Cause even though I'm fucking up now, Future Me has complete control & potential to lose as much weight as I want. And it'll be SOOOO EASY since everyone is all like "new year, new me yippee!". Plus I work in a health food store where everyone is always on some crazy diet.
Is anyone else as excited as I am about all this post-holiday nonsense? And how easy it'll be to blend into the "diet culture"... not have to hide ED so much!
EDIT: I'm also in this weird mentality where I'm so excited to watch people be immersed in their New Years Diets, struggling to lose weight, obsessing over everything, eventually giving up after 2 weeks... and then here I can just starve for a week and lose just as much! (horrible thought)
[Help] Question about monos
/u/AnaBrideToBe
Created: Tue Dec 26 21:29:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mcsz7/question_about_monos/
---
Do you eat food that's one ingredient (apples, cucumbers, kiwis, etc) or can you do foods made up of a few ingredients (salad, pizza, soup, etc)? Oh and how long? I know I can just do my own thing but I'm curious how you're supposed to do it so I can try it the "correct" way. I'm thinking a salad mono (lettus, dressing, and walnuts) for 3 days.
[Discussion] DAE throw up in places other than the toliet?
/u/SpaceWhale88 [Height 5'3 | CW 180ish | HW/LW 197/118lbs | GW 136]
Created: Tue Dec 26 20:34:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mcj10/dae_throw_up_in_places_other_than_the_toliet/
---
I spent the long weekend at my parents' and couldnt purge. Now I'm home and I'm right back at it. Tonight I slightly overate some rice at dinner and purged like 6 times to barely get enough up. Then I bundled up and faced the sub zero cold to get some Americone Dream. Ate the whole pint then purged it back into the container to make sure I got it all. Never done anything that gross before.
[Other] DAE get really annoyed when people comment "I bet she eats one bite and throws it away" whenever they see a skinny model eating a burger or pizza on Instagram.
/u/Glazed9000 [5'7' | 125 |]
Created: Tue Dec 26 20:24:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mch7l/dae_get_really_annoyed_when_people_comment_i_bet/
---
[Rant/Rave] If i don't stop, I'll die.
/u/sadnddisordered [5'10.5 | 126 | 17.59 | -7 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 26 20:19:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mcgb2/if_i_dont_stop_ill_die/
---
Yeah yeah yeah we've all heard that. But I got the news from a doctor, that if I don't change how i treat my body, the precancer in my cervix will become cancer. And after that it's just a matter of time.
Everyone keeps acting like this should be a wakeup call for me to change my lifestyle and be healthy but I have no motivation to. It is literally my future on the line and I can't stop starving myself. I hate this. I hate this disorder, I hate my brain, I hate the stupid abnormal fucking cells multiplying in my cervix.
I don't know what I'm looking for in posting here. But i posted in a quit smoking sub and i got replies that literally said like "wow lucky you this is the best motivation to quit because you can't not" which first off.....fuck you for saying this is a lucky thing and second, what if i want to die? what if i don't want to live anymore? i'll get 10 more years, thats more than enough. the past 21 have been awful and I doubt anything will change.
Sorry this got really long and ranty. Anyone who read this far, thank you.
[Rant/Rave] These past few days have been terrible
/u/ParanoidPancreas [5'11" | CW 149.4 | GW 148 | UGW 138 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 26 20:02:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mcd1x/these_past_few_days_have_been_terrible/
---
I can't resist these desserts that are everywhere. Sugar is my weakness. Family Christmas dinner had 3 kinds of pie so you know my fat ass tried all three. And it was my birthday today and the restaurant we went to gave me a free dessert and I felt obligated to eat it all because that was so nice of them to do.
Months of discipline, gone. It doesn't help that I'm fucking depressed about all this so all I want to continue to do is eat my sorrows and wallow. Ugh. So much for hitting my GW before the end of the year. I'm back over 150 now. I hate myself.
[Rant/Rave] I collapsed in front of my neighbors today.
/u/ankrage
Created: Tue Dec 26 19:54:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mcbmf/i_collapsed_in_front_of_my_neighbors_today/
---
Jesus, I wish I had lost consciousness.
Instead of fainting, I babbled at them frantically while trying to explain why I was slo-mo crumpling to the ground. (It seriously took like 30 seconds to hit the sidewalk and I still couldn’t stop it.) I was carrying a lot of bags but it was humiliating.
My neighbors were sitting five feet away gaping at me while it was happening but they never asked if I needed help or if I was okay...I can only assume I seemed so mentally unstable that they didn’t want to engage with me.
I feel like a lot of us are seeking invisibility or attention (or a combo of the two) and I guess it hit me today that I feel way too fucking vulnerable and visible in all the wrong ways.
[Rant/Rave] I’m getting so sick of eating
/u/arandomnamebcimlazy [5’5| CW: 136| BMI: 22.6|-90| Female|]
Created: Tue Dec 26 19:03:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mc1vd/im_getting_so_sick_of_eating/
---
These past few days, I’ve been making the active effort to eat like a normal person. As each day goes on though, I’m getting really sick of it. Eating has turned into a chore. I just want to stop, but two things keep stopping me from quitting altogether:
1. I don’t wanna stress my mom out unnecessarily when I’m supposed to be the older sibling who has her shit together.
2. I’m afraid if I quit eating, once I start eating again, I’ll start binging and gain all the weight back. I’m one those people who’s gag reflex doesn’t let us vomit easily, so purging is out of the question.
I’m so sick of these two voices. They are always conflicting over what I should do. I seriously feel the urges to stop eating getting stronger though. I’m thinking about returning to one meal a day. I wish we didn’t have all of this junk food in the house either.
[Rant/Rave] I think my mom has had an ED for years
/u/circuitghost [5'9" | CW: 142 | GW: 127 | F | 🍑roboghost ]
Created: Tue Dec 26 19:00:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mc19c/i_think_my_mom_has_had_an_ed_for_years/
---
Or at least very disordered eating.
She's a personal trainer and used to do figure competitions - the subdivision of a body building comp where ladies wear sparkly bikinis and are really thin and toned, but they aren't bodybuilders.
She's always done a lot of "cleanses" and stuff but it's only recently (ever since I relapsed) that I've noticed a lot of my ED tendencies in her, and the casual things she says that nobody but me really notices.
Honestly I'm shocked I didn't notice sooner, especially when she was at her low weights for competitions. Not going to say anything though, I don't need her noticing anything about my eating habits.
[Rant/Rave] stressed and annoyed
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Tue Dec 26 18:48:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mbz0u/stressed_and_annoyed/
---
me, my friend and my little sister we’re all hanging out today. she’s only 13 but always makes comments about my eating or will bring me food and ask me often if i’ve eaten, especially in front of adults. she mentioned it a few times while we were with my friend i guess to see if my friend picked up on it and had any similar concerns/was aware of my eating. my friend kept making comments and despite me texting her telling her to stop she made my sister even more concerned. i know my sister is going to go to my mum and tell her. my mum can’t take any more stress and i’m already a burden and it’s just gunna confirm everyone’s concerns. so sad and annoyed and worried.
[Rant/Rave] Winter Break
/u/bonitahermosura
Created: Tue Dec 26 18:41:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mbxo2/winter_break/
---
It’s so hard to fast and not eat in my house!! I’m going crazy because it feels like I’ve binged every day for the past week or so and I still have a week and a half of winter break left and I don’t know how I’m going to make it. I’m at my lowest weight yet and the steady weight loss has made me so happy. I’m actually somewhat content with who I am and where I’m at for once and I don’t want to fucking lose it now. But there’s so much food everywhere and I can’t stop unless I fast and restrict. Does anyone have any tips on how to fast and restrict at home without it being suspicious? Please help :((
[Rant/Rave] I feel so huge
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 57.5 kg | -26 kg | 22F]
Created: Tue Dec 26 18:05:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mbqru/i_feel_so_huge/
---
I feel like a miserable overly huge land whale. I don't feel any smaller despite losing 57 lbs. I look in the mirror and all I see is that I still have massive thighs, a big stomach and some fat on my hips. I am 8 lbs away from my first GW and I can't see how 8 lbs could change this appearance into something decent. So of course I shifted my GW from 116 lbs to 108. But I already know it won't make any difference so how about 105 or 103? No that's still too much, I want nice thighs after all and a tiny waist! Maybe even my boobs will shrink some more if I get down to 99?
I know it's futile since I will never see myself how I really look. Sometimes I actually feel thin and see it in the mirror but then I take photos and I only see a fat girl.
[Rant/Rave] My toilet can't take it anymore
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 80 lbs | 15.13 | -27 | f]
Created: Tue Dec 26 18:02:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mbq5b/my_toilet_cant_take_it_anymore/
---
I live in an old house. The kind that comes free with ghosts and high-flow toilets and a healthy dose of esbestos.
My main issue is with the toilet.
This ancient POS shitter holds in the bowl, on average, about two gallons of water. Not only does this piss me off as a woman who cares about the planet, but as a woman who suffers from bulimic.
In order to avoid splash back from a water line inches from my face, i have to flush between heaves.
But, as i've been made painfully aware of over the last several weeks, my toilet doesn't care to flush anymore.
The water swirls and whirls and threatens to overflow, but it will not clear the bowl of the water and vomit I want gone.
Perhaps one out of thre flushes actually flushes.
This has extended my purging time from five minutes to almost thirty.
Even my toilet has given up on me.
[Rant/Rave] Back on my bullshit
/u/thinkthinlythrowaway [5'1.5 on a good day | CW 129.0 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 26 18:01:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mbq1q/back_on_my_bullshit/
---
Hello it is i.
I try to avoid Reddit because I feel like I would be a bother. I post to peach once a day. When I was down a bunch I posted to Reddit.
I feel like after this holiday and the gain that I'm done with this bullshit. I was at my lowest in April and have gain 10 pounds.
I haven't seen a number that has made me happy in a while and I refuse to enter 2018 the same weight as 2017 especially with everything I've put myself through this year.
So here's a obligatory back on my bullshit post. I feel like I've returned home now.
[Help] Stranger than normal bruising
/u/gettingagrip4 [5'3" | Baby Hippo | 22 | -70 | 31F]
Created: Tue Dec 26 17:48:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mbngn/stranger_than_normal_bruising/
---
I bruise easily, I know I’m anemic.
Has anyone ever had lots of bruises that don’t hurt at all though?
[Discussion] I get sick when I eat junk food
/u/raz563 [F | 5"11 | CW: 145 | GW: 120lb]
Created: Tue Dec 26 16:54:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mbca4/i_get_sick_when_i_eat_junk_food/
---
Anyone else catch a virus when they break their diet & binge on junk food? For example yesterday I only had a smoothie for breakfast, planning to restrict, but at 3pm I binged on a whole pizza (one of those crappy ones from the supermarket that you heat in the oven) and developed a cold that evening.
Probably has more to do with the immune system than my ED, but I figured people who know as much about food as y'all do might have an answer :P
[Rant/Rave] at a low point
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Tue Dec 26 16:40:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mb9hc/at_a_low_point/
---
i just spent a few hours subconsciously binging, not a moment with my mouth empty pushing in chocolate after chocolate or biscuits or crisps or pasta or bread or anything my hands went to. i realised and freaked out big time. i’m now walking circles around my local town in a vest top and shorts in -5 degrees celsius trying to burn calories by walking and also my body having to work to keep me warm. i am crying and have stopped behind bushes to purge. i didn’t think i’d get to a point where i’d feel this powerless, my disorder is in complete control and i can’t see any way out.
[Rant/Rave] But really check your battery
/u/OscarTehOctopus
Created: Tue Dec 26 16:35:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mb8ff/but_really_check_your_battery/
---
About a month ago I replaced my scale battery because it was just over a year old and I didn't want it to get inaccurate. Shortly afterwards my weight starts to go up, and fluctuate a lot more. I got upset, dropped out of maintenance, binged a few times. Its been a rough ride.
I decided to weigh myself after some self hate holiday cookie eating and the scale is dead. I tried putting the old battery back in and try again. I'm only up 1lb.
What the fuck. So much stress, a relapse, and way to much emotional eating all due to a bad battery. As if the holidays aren't hard enough.
[Rant/Rave] I'm a terrible person.
/u/uncommonlyaverage [5'3" | CW 100 | UGW 92 |19F]
Created: Tue Dec 26 16:33:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mb82s/im_a_terrible_person/
---
I've struggled with an eating disorder on and off since I was 13/14. I wanted to be thinner to validate my illness and that I was sick, and well I finally got validated that I was sick by my mother in the ER on Christmas Eve and it was the worst feeling in the entire world. To make a long story short I have eczema that flares up on occasion, since I got on a new injectable medication I've pretty much had extremely clear skin, but my recent excessive purging caused it to flair up all over my face and due to my low immunity I contracted cellulitis in my skin. This happened a few years ago and is pretty much because of my anorexia and purging/general lack of not taking care of myself. I don't see my mom too often as I am in college, but when I do I wear baggy clothes and cover my self harm marks because I don't want her to worry because she is having a really hard time. I spent Christmas Eve with her because her family lives far away and she lives alone because she recently left my very abusive father. My skin flared up to the point that my face was so swollen and painful that I was in tears, so at 1 am on Christmas morning my mom drove me to the ER. The had to give me a steroid shot and a shot of antibiotics and pain meds. The steroid shot has to go in your hip, so the nurse lifted up my baggy sweatshirt and pants to give me the shot. My mom immediately bursted into tears. When the nurse left I asked her why she was crying and she said 'I can see your bones and your self harm marks on your thigh. I can see you wasting away. You're so thin (she touches my leg) look at your tiny knees...if you keep going there's not going to be anything left. We were in the ER for this a few years ago. I feel like this is my fault for not being a better mother. I am so sorry. I love you so much. I don't want to lose you.' To be honest my mom did neglect me growing up and let my father abuse us for years, but holy fuck nobody deserves this. She is trying to makeup for her mistakes and I am putting her through hell. Why am I doing this to her and to myself? I finally feel validated and it feels fucking awful. I feel like the worst daughter in the entire world. I want to stop, but I just can't. Fuck I hate myself.
[Help] Please motivate me to go on a fast/ eat clean
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 26 16:18:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mb4wy/please_motivate_me_to_go_on_a_fast_eat_clean/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Message me
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 26 16:06:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mb2dx/message_me/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] If my fucking mom mentions carbs one more goddamn time I'm going to set the house on fire
/u/allyoucaneathatesme
Created: Tue Dec 26 15:31:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7maumq/if_my_fucking_mom_mentions_carbs_one_more_goddamn/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Am I insane?
/u/RebornOldFart
Created: Tue Dec 26 14:44:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7makfi/am_i_insane/
---
I have binging and everyday it gets more and more like a runaway freight train. As I went to bed last night I decided it was time to get this shit under control. Today I have managed 8 cups of water and 290 calories. I am trying, it seems, to go the other way and develop the opposite of BED. Sitting here literally talking to my family as I post this feeling nauseous because my stomach is growling but I feel I ruined my ability to eat normally so I don't deserve more food after the past few months.
[Rant/Rave] So many people forgot my birthday
/u/puzzlette [5' 9" | SW mammoth | GW always smaller |]
Created: Tue Dec 26 14:32:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7mahpa/so_many_people_forgot_my_birthday/
---
I know it's stupid, and people are busy with their family, but today is my birthday and so many of my friends forgot.
It's been extremely triggering for me. I was intending to have yesterday and today "off", and yesterday I was fine. I ate and felt normal.
Today I ate breakfast. Since then I've had nothing, waiting for some key people to give me attention. I sat at the movies with my family a few hours ago, excited for turning my phone back on and seeing the notifications from people I love and I thought loved me.
Nothing.
Instead of going out for a meal as planned, I asked to go back home. Now I'm sitting in my empty house, totally alone. Chainsmoking and eyeing up the bottle of gin on the table. Is it my fault for pushing them away with my ED behaviours? I don't go for drinks and dinner with them, so I get it I suppose. But we're still in contact. I just don't know why nobody cares about me anymore.
I'm not even skinny, has losing all my friends been worth it?
Sorry for the lack of tag, can a mod tag as rant? I just had to get it off my chest, I didn't know where else to go.
[Rant/Rave] Thank God that's over
/u/im-nobody-too [CW: 119lbs | GW: Maintain don't gain | 26f]
Created: Tue Dec 26 13:52:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ma92c/thank_god_thats_over/
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Christmas sucked. My family has been awful to me, telling me I'm pathetic for still living at home, telling me that I'm 'ruining Christmas' because I had to work on the 23rd and 24th, guilting me for not being able to afford to buy expensive gifts, the list goes on and on.
It sucks enough to not have loads of money, but I wish they could be more understanding. I'm TRYING to find a better job, and I WANT to be living in my own place. And obviously I wish I had enough money to spend hundreds of dollars on gifts. But I'm in loads of debt (a lot of it is medical, ed-related), and full-time jobs are hard to find.
Oh, yeah, and I also gained two pounds in two days even though I didn't even binge. The house is so full of sugary foods, it feels like I'm gaining just for being in the house.
[Help] I feel a need to punish myself...
/u/ShouNinja [170cm | CW 56kg | BMI 19.32 | GW 52kg | 20F]
Created: Tue Dec 26 13:14:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ma0j0/i_feel_a_need_to_punish_myself/
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I've never done any self harming like cutting and stuff except for starving myself but now I feel like I really deserve it and I'm having a hard time not doing it. I've failed miserably now during the holidays and I feel like I need to punish myself and cutting or the like is really darn tempting. I'm having a hard time resisting...
EDIT: I didn't cut! Made it this time, thanks for the support <3
[Rant/Rave] Binged hard yesterday, binged hard today, probably ruined all my hard work
/u/SvelteDreams [5'5" | CW 121.4lbs | GW 103lbs | 21F]
Created: Tue Dec 26 12:29:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m9qsx/binged_hard_yesterday_binged_hard_today_probably/
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I was doing so well. 900 calories a day, 2 hours of exercise, 2 hours of walking. It was good. But yesterday I ate at least 3000 calories and today I've eaten at least 2000 already plus I have a dinner to go to where I will eat more and now I won't even be thin for that. Ugh. I want to go buy laxatives but in a misguided attempt to take care of my health kinda I'm trying to just go for exercise purging and restriction. I let myself stray from safe foods because I thought I could handle it and oh boy that is not true at all. I honestly just should fast for the next few days if I'm gonna make my New Years Eve goal.
Sorry, I just needed to rant about that for a minute. Anyone else got caught by Christmas binging and having a tough time too? What happened? What's your plan?
[Rant/Rave] Not going to date until I’m skinny
/u/bunkbedsex [5'3 | CW: 137 | BMI: 24.3 | UGW: 99 | add me on peach]
Created: Tue Dec 26 12:08:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m9m2u/not_going_to_date_until_im_skinny/
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I literally just sabotaged my only chance at a relationship with someone i actually liked because i don’t think I’m skinny enough to date anyone right now.
Why am i like this 🙃🙃🙃
Whelp...my grandma died and I feel numb but all I can think about is food
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 26 11:07:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m98wz/whelpmy_grandma_died_and_i_feel_numb_but_all_i/
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[deleted]
[Help] cheeks swelling from purging.
/u/bmddx
Created: Tue Dec 26 11:06:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m98k3/cheeks_swelling_from_purging/
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ugh. it's awful. does anyone have any tips to help reduce the swelling? i'm aiming to stop purging every other fucking thing i eat in the new year, but last night was bad.
[Rant/Rave] I just went bra shopping and now I want to die a little bit
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 26 10:36:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m9284/i_just_went_bra_shopping_and_now_i_want_to_die_a/
---
I have a really small rib cage and so bra shopping has always been hard for me because I need a specialty size. But today the lady was trying to convince me I’m a 30D, and the one she gave me *fit*. So now I feel like absolute shit because to me what that means is I have the ability to be small, since the rib cage part is small, but that I’m too fat to wear a little dainty size and if I could only get my shit together I could be small and dainty too. And meanwhile I’ve spent the rest of the day staring at all the things I hate about myself in dressing room mirrors and crying over the fact that I will never find pants I feel like I look good in...I’m just so upset I don’t even know what to do.
[Discussion] Why do we feel guilty for not being sick enough?
/u/dbt-girl [5'2" | 114]
Created: Tue Dec 26 10:05:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m8vjg/why_do_we_feel_guilty_for_not_being_sick_enough/
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The things I seem to come back to is inability to communicate and a need for validation.
I want to be sick because I want the attention, because attention means someone cares about me. And let’s face it, I want someone to care about me. But why can’t I just communicate my needs? Are my needs “too much?”
But opening up about my ED makes me feel self conscious. I want to send pics of breakfast to my boyfriend and celebrate that I ate. But am I a fake? Am I playing victim? I can’t talk about it without feeling like I’m playing victim. And maybe I am fake because secretly those bacon and eggs and kale were like ~1 net carb or some shit, and right now my ED is intensely focused on dropping my blood sugar to oblivion.
Why do we want to be sick so badly? I feel like all I do is run, run, run away. From everything. I always have to live a double life somehow. I just want to be chased, but I bury too many secrets with me when I go.
I think EDs are deeply rooted in the toxic shame and self-loathing we feel for ourselves. But that’s... I think that’s for another day.
I am worthy, I am worthy, I am worthy.
[Rant/Rave] I just want to escape the monster in my head
/u/SilentlyLuna [183cm | CW: monstrous | GW:Unattainable | -7kg | F]
Created: Tue Dec 26 10:00:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m8uaz/i_just_want_to_escape_the_monster_in_my_head/
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^Long ^time (^on ^and ^off) ^lurker, ^just ^created ^alt ^to ^finally ^dare ^post. Sorry for the long rant and for posting in general but I just need to vent *somewhere*
I'm a mess this Christmas. Not only have I been eating so much food the last few days that it scares me (despite not touching sweets, chocolate or cookies at all, darn you roasted potatoes), I had to drop off my SO at the train today and somehow survive the next few days with my family without him until I get to go home... I also got my period for the second time this year so my hormones are all over the place and anxiety through the roof.
I escaped to my old room to listen to ASMR that helps a bit and pretend to read a book. My dad then pops in with a tray of food in his hands (ugh!!) on his way to the kitchen, notices the paused video and started asking a million questions about it and it shouldn't have been that big of a deal but I just wanted him to stop and leave me alone and not look at me like that??! I just want to go home and never leave my bed but nope I have to stay and pretend to be happy and come up with excuses not to eat and see my aunt who only pretends to like me until the sweet relief of friday...
I was supposed to see a friend tonight but she cancelled last minute and I'm oddly relieved? I feel like I want to cry at everything but I also feel so dead inside.
I want to eat absolutely everything and nothing ever again. I'm never going to be thin, I always fail eventually and binge. I can't even start purging again because I don't live alone anymore. I'm all over the place...
[Other] Potential ED?
/u/hollywould83 [5ft 2in |102 | Not sure | 24-26| pds Female]
Created: Tue Dec 26 09:35:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m8ozb/potential_ed/
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Hi, Everyone,
After my traumatic experience of last year (This would be one of many) including emotional abuse as a child, witnessing DV, and later becoming a codependent to the fullest extent who has never been in a functional relationship. I have always suffered from low self esteem, despite being told the opposite, that I am a great person, attractive, etc.
My 2yr anniversary is here now, beginning the daily struggle I endured from December 2015-May 2016. In June 2016, I was finally told my diagnosis of PTSD, and after obtaining my psych records from 4 years ago, I had the same diagnosis in those records however no one told me. (My LPC at the time)
Bottom line: Once the 180 days of hell finally ceased, and I was able to breathe and come out of fight or flight mode, my weight dropped from 128 to 97 lbs at my lowest. Being 5 ft 2in, this does not concern my dr however I have been advised not to lose anymore weight. I now feel like I have an eating disorder and I have still triggered on bad days to sit and reread paperwork from the trauma, listen to songs of that time, relisten to the recordings/videos I have.
It is true hell and I dont know that as my current therapist put it "see any way past this." I know I have to want change but truthfully my obsessions are once again taking over. My weight is at 103.5 this morning and yesterday, I was cheering to myself as I was at 101 during my morning weigh in. I weigh morning and night and restrict my eating based on the numbers.
Has anyone else felt compelled to re traumatize themselves or battled with a condition as such? SIDE NOTE I was comfortable around 104 a month ago. Now I wan to see 101 to 102 on the scale. BUT my dr seems to think since my BMI is at 19.3 all is well. I am severely restrictive based on my numbers and what I eat because I know the calorie content. Sometimes though my hunger wins out and the guilt is there.
[Help] Help with EC stacks
/u/TertiaryWings [5'1"| 🐳 | UGW125? | -37.6 | 26F]
Created: Tue Dec 26 09:21:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m8mam/help_with_ec_stacks/
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Hello everyone. Long time no see. I'll try to make a long story short.
Trigger warning self harm.
Went nuts before Christmas. OD'ed on escitalopram, metformin and hydroxyzine and cut 300+ times. Was baker acted then released. I have almost no friends and I turn to controlling my diet for comfort, which is damn near always.
Thinking of starting EC stacks but when looking at the info for Bronkaid found it shouldn't be taken with an MAOI. I remember the escitalopram pamphlet mentioning MAOI so I'm unsure if there will be an interaction amongst everything. Does anyone here take the EC stacks along with antidepressants? Have you had any adverse affects if so?
[Help] Tips on preventing bingeing when tired?
/u/lamellashapes
Created: Tue Dec 26 08:34:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m8cp3/tips_on_preventing_bingeing_when_tired/
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I realised I eat so much, an extraordinary amount, when I’m tired.
[Rant/Rave] |Rant| I don't WANT to 'get back on the horse'
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |104 | -116 | 20A]
Created: Tue Dec 26 07:52:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m84sx/rant_i_dont_want_to_get_back_on_the_horse/
---
For Christmas I let myself take a break from MFP to focus on enjoying time with my family. I input my total as maintenance, and while I did check counts of certain things throughout the day, I did not track.
I ate dim sum. *A lot* of delicious dim sum.
I ate Oreos.
I ate a sandwich/on REAL, non diet bread with fucking kewpie MAYO
I let myself have a taste of my mom's homemade whipped cream without thinking about how it would fit into my day.
I put a squeeze of condensed milk in my tea just because I felt like it.
And while it caused a lot of anxiety/guilt, goddamn it felt so *freeing*.
Which is terrifying.
I rationalize these days to myself by saying, 'you won't gain all your fat back in 24 hours, you're underweight and you'll be back in your routine tomorrow so let it go.' I see posts on here and 1200isplenty encouraging a day or two of indulgence as long as you get back on track and don't make it a habit.
The thing is, I don't want to go back. I don't want to stress and agonize over every calorie, I don't want to treat my body like a calculator anymore. I miss ENJOYING food and the experiences that come with it, I miss the ease of it all.
Now ofc, the cognitive dissonance in my mind is strong. I want to eat freely but I'm still so scared of gaining weight. So today we're at an impasse. I'm on the borderline of reactively restricting to compensate/punish myself for letting go/and preemptively restricting for AYCE sushi plans later in the week/ and reactively eating just to say fuck it to these disordered habits.
Recovery is hard. Recovery is confusing. Is recovery worth it? Is being thin worth suffering, potentially dying for? Is eating really so dangerous? Am I destined to be fat? I just don't know.
/sorry for the wall, thanks for reading if you made it this far. I don't know where I'd be without this communities support. Wishing you all well💞
[Rant/Rave] Christmas success
/u/dino_bones72 [5’3” | 130lbs | 22 | 13lbs | Female ]
Created: Tue Dec 26 07:03:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m7wp1/christmas_success/
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I only received one tube of chocolates (Rolos - haven’t had them for years, so I was able to actually eat them over he course of the day but not immediately rip the house apart looking for more. Also, only 25kcal per chocolate, so easy enough to track. Result)
Also, I managed to get lost in the chaos of everyone sitting down, filling their plates and then eating so there was always someone with a clear plate when somebody else was refilling theirs. Managed to have like one slice of beef, 2 potatoes and a few carrots without anyone noticing.
All in, I managed 2,000 kcal which is more than double my usual 900 but still keeps me under maintenance TDEE for both the week and the month so I’m relatively ok with this.
Now for round 2 today.....aiming for max 1,000 but we will see how that goes
[Rant/Rave] Feeling guilty
/u/coffeexsmokes [5'2" | 100 | -50 | 21F]
Created: Tue Dec 26 06:50:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m7uiw/feeling_guilty/
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Been away awhile cause I was trying recovery. Starting to falter.
And the reason is bullshit.
I feel guilty cause I am hitting my higher calorie goal and I am making progress. Meanwhile I keep hearing about girls struggling to eat to their bmr and it makes me feel like a failure, and even worse, it makes me insanely jealous.
This ED ruined my life and yet lately every moment is me wishing I could be sick again. My bf is about to move in with me and I have told him I am actively trying to recover. And that isn't even true anymore. I am just half assing it cause there is something super fucked up with me. I don't want my ED to be something that affects my relationship, but everyday I struggle more and more with feeling guilty for recovering and not being sick enough, and then feeling guilty for having those thoughts. I just don't know what to do to cope anymore and I am starting to have issjes managing all this fucking stress. I am such a fucking disgrace.
[Rant/Rave] Please fucking tell me that shoes can weigh 3 pounds
/u/orthoreXXX [22F | 5’4” | cw 120lb | gw 110lb | bmi 21]
Created: Tue Dec 26 06:12:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m7p0f/please_fucking_tell_me_that_shoes_can_weigh_3/
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Three days ago I checked my weight on the scale at Publix and I was finally at 119. I was so god damn excited to be under 120 and when my boyfriend looked at the scale he was like “congratulations you’re almost at your goal!!” and last night I checked my weight and it said 122..... wtf
Please fucking tell me sneakers can weigh three pounds i took them off at home and lifted them but couldn’t figure it out ugh I want to go weigh myself this morning but I’m so scared it will be over 120 again
I fucking hate Christmas food
[Rant/Rave] Want to die
/u/ohwellolivia
Created: Tue Dec 26 05:41:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m7kih/want_to_die/
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Literally the worst thing ever happened to me.
I know I have been gaining weight recently. I’ve been trying to push back urges and gain to my “healthy weight,” which I did, just not always in the healthiest of ways.
Last night I received pictures from my nephews birthday party over the weekend. I looked fucking obese. Even my family is laughing at me and saying I let myself go. I called my mom in tears and she says “I did noticed you gained weight and have been eating very unhealthy foods. You should eat better and work out more.”
Literally, in my entire life, I have never been told that I look fat or need to work out. It’s always been “you’re so skinny, you’re not eating enough.” I’m not even CLOSE to my highest weight, and yet I look like I’m 50 lbs heavier. I want to die. I want to kill myself. I want to starve and whither away to nothing. I’m fucking done with this fucking recovery bullshit. I literally got laughed at when I tried it.
I’m logging out of all social media and not doing anything fun until I’m back down to 105 (I’m at 117 now). See you in 12 pounds.
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday December 26, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Dec 26 05:10:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m7gfw/thinspo_tuesday_december_26_2017/
---
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! December 26, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Dec 26 05:10:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m7gfd/daily_food_diary_december_26_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 26, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] I hate family
/u/Acaciajoy [5'2 | 102 lbs | 18.7 | 13 lbs | Female]
Created: Mon Dec 25 23:33:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m6a1w/i_hate_family/
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Why the fuck does my family feel the need to comment on my weight and skin, god it's so fucking annoying, i'm almost underweight at 102 lbs and yet "idk if you should eat that" like fuck you Su, this cookie is the first thing i've eaten all day and i get it, im a mess but have some decency. And the comments on skin just make me cry. Godddddddd fuck this all im gonna be 95 lbs by the new year watch me, ive cried enough for one day.
[Other] ED Research Paper.. Answer my survery
/u/rainybones
Created: Mon Dec 25 23:02:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m64h6/ed_research_paper_answer_my_survery/
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Hey!
So I'm doing a research paper on eating disorders for my sociology class.
I'm particularly interested in how they develop.
it's about 10 questions.. please answer the boxed ones as best/thoroughly as you can.
Thanks.
Also.. please spread the word to anyone with an ED because I'm trying to get as many replies as i can to the results are impartial and not reflected upon only a handful of people.
https://goo.gl/forms/oI82ajWJLSALu73h2
p.s. I've never used reddit before soidk how this works exactly
also, it's in your best interst if your Ed is diagnosed or you clearly have one.. so no only pro or dieters pls.
[Rant/Rave] Either my whole household has food issues or I'm super paranoid. Either way I've given up on recovery for now.
/u/aurelia-aurita
Created: Mon Dec 25 20:53:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m5jj4/either_my_whole_household_has_food_issues_or_im/
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So everyone in my household knows I have a problem (since I've thrown cautious vomiting to the wind a few too many times). They basically ignore it, aside from telling to to "not do that anymore" on occasion.
I decided on my own to try to stop my restricting/binging/purging cycle BUT I GUESS THAT'S OUT THE WINDOW NOW BECAUSE I'VE NOTICED SOME THINGS. (big, lengthy emotions ahead)
Let's just list family members 1, 2, and 3.
Family member 1 has always "already eaten." Almost every meal it's "Oh, I'm not hungry. I've been eating all day." Whenever I fix myself something to eat she stares at it and starts reading the labels and saying how many calories and that she "can't eat that." I end up feeling super shitty and either end up taking big bites and spitting them into a napkin, or waiting for her to leave the room and throwing it away.
Family member 2 is a similar issue that has amplified recently. Counts calories like 1 but doesn't eat certain foods. They smell those foods, and they have even chew & spit in front of me.
Family member 3 seems to binge. It doesn't really bother me but I've just found it interesting, because they seem to binge the same foods that I do (which makes sense, same household/genetics)
I'm just so pissed off because I was really trying to get better, but I feel like whenever I go to eat a normal meal someone is right there saying why THEY can't personally eat the thing, and why it's unhealthy for THEM because of all the sugars/carbs/calories. Earlier I went to get a snack and one family member was standing RIGHT BEHIND ME THE WHOLE TIME. They didn't say anything but I feel like I'm in a competition. I just want to be able to treat food normally and not feel like a complete piece of shit fat ass!
But I also can't wait to move out so I can just eat my safe foods and schedule my binges. So maybe it's not my family and I'm just a complete mess.
[Rant/Rave] Posting too much but please help
/u/runjumpflip [5'3 | CW 110 | 19.5 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 25 20:50:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m5j3d/posting_too_much_but_please_help/
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Sorry for posting twice but I'm just so anxious. I'm sure you guys get it, with the holidays and all. God guys, I'm like 1000 over my max and I feel like shit. I want to hurt myself so bad, but I can't because I just got a modelling contract so I can't accumulate any more scars ahahhhh and it's like this added pressure to not gain weight. I'm drinking green tea and water and taking a hot hot bath tryna sweat it out, and I'm probably gonna like OD on nicotine man, that's my vice for sure when I'm anxious. But I don't have fucking cigarettes around so I'm vaping my lungs out lmaoooo. I just started the timer for what I hope is gonna be a 24 hour fast. God guys, I feel like shit. What do I do? How can I even burn off 1000+ calories?? Ughhhhh. Thanks for listening guys, more and more you're becoming a safe place for me and it's great. Thanks, I hope you're all feeling better than me lol.
[Rant/Rave] If my mom comments one more time on my eating, I'm going to lose my shit
/u/Glazed9000 [5'7' | 125 |]
Created: Mon Dec 25 20:39:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m5h9n/if_my_mom_comments_one_more_time_on_my_eating_im/
---
She's the only person in my family that I have told about my issues with binge eating and restriction. Yet she still continues to comment on how much I eat. I'm struggling with a binge eating and overeating phase and she keeps telling me to eat less. FUCK OFF BITCH. I told you something that I really struggle with and you still continue to say insensitive shit.
When I was in a restricting phase she kept saying I was getting too thin and I should eat more. Wtf???
Is it just that Chinese moms don't get the fucking point. She has seen me bawl so many times and now I go to a counselor once and she thinks I'm recovered...
[Rant/Rave] I think I’ve hit a new low
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 25 20:32:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m5g3g/i_think_ive_hit_a_new_low/
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It’s 10:30 on Christmas day and I’m in the basement going as fast as I possibly can on the workout bike to try and burn off the ~1300 calories I’ve had today and feeling like crying because the heart rate monitor on the bike is broken so I can’t calculate the calorie burn, but not actually able to cry because I’m so dehydrated/breathing too hard, with an untied shoelace slapping against the pedal that I can’t fix until I’ve finished. And the damn bike says I’ve only burnt 100 and that my heart rate is at 71, neither of which can possibly be true but both of which have burrowed themselves into my head. I don’t know what to do. I’m so tired of all this.
[Rant/Rave] Pretty happy with my back lately
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 25 20:16:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m5dir/pretty_happy_with_my_back_lately/
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https://i.redd.it/v9tp0bclp6601.jpg
Pretty happy with my back lately
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 25 20:15:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m5d7k/pretty_happy_with_my_back_lately/
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https://i.redd.it/nj895u39p6601.jpg
[Help] How do I clean vomit out of a hotel sink?
/u/KissMySlitWrist [Moo]
Created: Mon Dec 25 20:06:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m5bu8/how_do_i_clean_vomit_out_of_a_hotel_sink/
---
Help please? Panicking about someone being super pissed about this. The sink was the closest thing :(
[Help] I don't want muscular legs.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 25 19:58:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m5afa/i_dont_want_muscular_legs/
---
[deleted]
[Help] I don't think I can do recovery anymore.
/u/skydiver89 [5'4" CW 139 GW 125 UGW 115]
Created: Mon Dec 25 19:33:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m5680/i_dont_think_i_can_do_recovery_anymore/
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I hate eating. I've been hating it. I can't even get to my 1,200 calories a day. It just gives me so much anxiety. My ED is the only thing I have control over right now. I've been having flashbacks all evening. Maybe I am just having a mood swing (I have BPD too, yay!) and will delete this. But I can't stop crying. This is too much. I don't wanna do it anymore. I wanna die. I want to hurt myself severely. I told my mom about my ED and told her about my therapists recommendation for me going inpatient. Now I have no idea what I'm going to do. I want to disappear. I'm a disappointment to everyone.
[Help] I don't want a muscular look.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 25 19:26:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m550v/i_dont_want_a_muscular_look/
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[deleted]
[Help] About Eggs and Such
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 25 19:16:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m53ay/about_eggs_and_such/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Trying to enjoy a piece of pie when... (Humor)
/u/throwawaymyrazor [5'9" | CW 150 | 22.5 | GW 120]
Created: Mon Dec 25 19:03:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m518i/trying_to_enjoy_a_piece_of_pie_when_humor/
---
My family is arguing about the difference between a butter knife and a spreader and shit is heated.
My mom is waving a butter knife and threatening my aunt.
My grandpa has told my aunt to take her spreaders and shove them up her ass (jokingly).
Also my grandma called me fat earlier.
Merry Christmas from our dysfunctional family! What else do you guys have to tolerate today?
[Discussion] Anyone else doing post-holiday fasting/cleanses/etc?
/u/runjumpflip [5'3 | CW 110 | 19.5 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 25 18:41:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m4xiq/anyone_else_doing_postholiday_fastingcleansesetc/
---
So I'm bingeing my face off today and yesterday. Ick. I feel shitty about it but ah well it is what it is. I'm wondering, for those of you who are bingeing or cheating over that holidays, are you doing anything afterwards to lose the weight? Like do tell, cause I'm looking for ideas lol. I'm personally thinking of doing an 800 day, a 600 day, and then a liquid fast, but I'm not sure.
Thanks my dudes!
[Discussion] anyone else on the boyfriend diet?
/u/4amthunderstorm
Created: Mon Dec 25 17:41:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m4nda/anyone_else_on_the_boyfriend_diet/
---
a.k.a when you only eat when you're with your boyfriend :)))))))
[Discussion] unpopular opinion about people using this sub as a diet trick
/u/coldskylines
Created: Mon Dec 25 17:40:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m4n94/unpopular_opinion_about_people_using_this_sub_as/
---
i'm using a throwaway because this community is amazing and i feel badly posting this but it's been bothering me for a while.
since subscribing a long time ago, i've gotten the sense that sometimes people find this sub and start using it as a weight loss tool, like having an ed is a way to lose 50 pounds quickly. i know that needing to lose a lot of weight is how ed's start for a lot of people and that there are issues with psychologists, the public, etc. not taking overweight people seriously when they said that they have an ed (i have never been overweight and have been varying degrees of underweight for a while so i feel offensive saying this). and i'm not trying to invalidate people who are overweight and have eds because i know that's a thing. i know it's a really complex issue. at some of my lowest weights, people didn't guess that i had an ed because i hid it so well, so i know what it feels like to have nobody know and assume that means that you're not skinny enough.
it's just complicated because this sub is a place where a majority of people are struggling with severe eating issues that can have really bad health effects and mental effects, and i feel like those using it as a diet sub aren't overt about it (and aren't bad compared to the people who come here to harass/message people). anyways, just wondered if anyone else felt the same way i guess.
[Help] Should I count c/s as ruining my fast?
/u/peenut_buttah [5ft 7" | SW: 150 | CW: 124 | BMI: 19.4 | -26lbs | F]
Created: Mon Dec 25 17:22:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m4k3i/should_i_count_cs_as_ruining_my_fast/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] CHRISTMAS EDITION RANT THREAD
/u/quoth_the_phoenix
Created: Mon Dec 25 17:15:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m4ism/christmas_edition_rant_thread/
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MY MOM GAVE ME A BOX OF GODIVA CHOCOLATE FOR XMAS. I ATE TWO ONLY SO FAR BUT THE BOX WHISPERS TO ME
THERE IS FOOD EVERYWHERE
IM ALREADY 100 OVER MAINTENANCE
DUCK HAS A LOT OF CALORIES WHAT THE DUCK
[Rant/Rave] Waiting for 3am to finish my 3 days fast and I'm kinda proud[Rant/Rave]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 25 15:54:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m44la/waiting_for_3am_to_finish_my_3_days_fast_and_im/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m44la/waiting_for_3am_to_finish_my_3_days_fast_and_im/
[Help] Calorie estimate? Sorry this might be annoying :-/
/u/Idunnoking [5’1 | CW98.8| GW95 | 16F✨]
Created: Mon Dec 25 15:31:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m40bk/calorie_estimate_sorry_this_might_be_annoying/
---
https://i.redd.it/w1cfz0pla5601.jpg
[Other] Rejecting food
/u/kein-08-15
Created: Mon Dec 25 15:18:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m3y0m/rejecting_food/
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So since I started university I haven’t been eating in public at all and mainly been eating alone unless my mom visited me. And I noticed how I now naturally reject any food that is being offered to me. Like a friends offers me some Twix and I say ‘No’ just as if it was a natural reflex. I just find it kinda funny and I’m proud I’m able to reject food now without having to think about it.
[Rant/Rave] A rant about buffets and feeling full
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 25 15:03:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m3v8f/a_rant_about_buffets_and_feeling_full/
---
[deleted]
[Other] A friendly Christmas/holiday reminder
/u/dipped_in_gold_ [5'3 | CW ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | GW 105 | 22F]
Created: Mon Dec 25 15:01:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m3uyy/a_friendly_christmasholiday_reminder/
---
Today, and the rest of the holidays, will pass. They're not here forever, and if you're having a hard time, it will not last. It's okay to be hurt or upset, even when others around you are joyous.
Take things one day, one meal at a time. You've got this.
<3
[Discussion] Congratulations to Those Who Survived Eating Christmas Dinner and Spending the Time with Family
/u/bunntendo [Height5'7 | CW132 | BMI21 | WeightLost30 | GenderNB]
Created: Mon Dec 25 14:45:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m3rxp/congratulations_to_those_who_survived_eating/
---
im proud of you for getting through it and i hope it wasnt too bad, i took the smallest portions possible for my family to not get suspicious, getting ready to fast from now until new years
[Discussion] What triggers a binge for you?
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 57.1kg | BMI 18.86 |- 15kg | GW 52kg | 25F]
Created: Mon Dec 25 14:38:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m3qqm/what_triggers_a_binge_for_you/
---
Here are mine:
- A big event coming up where I won't have control over my eating
- Someone being horrible to me
- Routine change
- Drinking
[Rant/Rave] I DID IT!!!
/u/daisyhands
Created: Mon Dec 25 14:10:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m3lon/i_did_it/
---
i went a day without counting calories!! i wanted to just celebrate christmas with my family, eat a meal, snack and crisps and chocolates and drink alcohol without restricting and i did it!! Although i feel shitty, bloated and fat right now, and i’m sure i ate around 3000 calories (or maybe that’s just my mind telling me that), i’m actually feeling positive. I’m trying not to be too hard on myself, after all it is just one day. i do have to go for a meal tomorrow too so i am a bit nervous but hey, 2 days out of a year shouldn’t affect me too much. i’m feeling so grateful to actually have food this christmas, to be surrounded by family and to have been able to give and receive so many wonderful gifts that it has counteracted my guilt and sadness and i’m quite proud. i’m not in recovery and if i’m honest, i don’t want to be but after today and facing all of these challenges, i have so much respect for people attempting to recover.
I hope you all had a merry christmas today!!! (and remember that this is the one day that calories don’t count! haha)
[Other] Tis the Season For Confusing Weight-Related Gifts!
/u/UnderseaK [5'7 | cw: 150lbs | gw: 110lbs | -97lb]
Created: Mon Dec 25 14:08:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m3l9u/tis_the_season_for_confusing_weightrelated_gifts/
---
Bit of background: my mom knows I have an ED. She's known forever. My sister has one as well. But I'm a grown damn woman who lives ten states away, so the best mom can do is nag me about whether or not I've eaten.
Oh, and she can give me super confusing gifts.
This year, she sent a shirt two sizes too big, a fitbit (aw yiss!), and a weird kitchsy korean weight loss toe ring. Now, I'm super stoked about the fitbit and all....but what even?
She nags me to eat more, she tells me I'm too thin and killing myself.....and she sends me weight loss stuff. Like, a fitbit is clearly not a thing that is going to further my mental health, and I don't even know WHAT the stupid weight loss toe ring is.
Anyone else got parents/friends/SOs starting this kind of holiday confusion?
[Help] Do energy drinks reduce hunger and cravings for you?
/u/im-stressed-af-fam [5'3 | UGW: 108 | CW: 155 | -40]
Created: Mon Dec 25 14:05:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m3kof/do_energy_drinks_reduce_hunger_and_cravings_for/
---
I'm in a really bad binge cycle rn. I don't want to waste my EC stacks, so I'm wondering if 0 calorie energy drinks, such as Monster, have the same effect as caffeine in reducing hunger/cravings. I noticed a lot of people on this forum drink them. What are your experiences with it?
[Other] Merry Christmas! 🎄
/u/AnaTroi [5'9" | CW: 🐷 | UGW: 120]
Created: Mon Dec 25 12:29:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m3307/merry_christmas/
---
I just wanted to say Merry Christmas to all of you beautiful people! I hope you are all having a wonderful holiday. Thank you for being a place where we can all feel safe and accepted.
I know this time of year can be tough for a lot of people. If you're struggling, whether it be because holiday meals are stressing you out, or you're feeling lonely or low, just know you're not alone. You're beautiful. You're loved. And you're needed.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Much love to you all!
[Discussion] anyone else find that family tension/holiday fights make not eating so much easier?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: uw | f | 22 ]
Created: Mon Dec 25 12:06:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m2yue/anyone_else_find_that_family_tensionholiday/
---
in typical fashion, my family started an argument and scapegoated me for ruining everything (i have a small, dysfunctional family who doesn't like me) after i started to hang christmas lights (all decorating got put off yesterday due to *another* fight) so i'm in my childhood bedroom w/ no appetite and no desire to eat! i wish i wouldn't have traveled 1,000 miles for this but hey....what r u gonna do?
anyone else try to find the good in family tension/arguments/dysfunction cuz it makes having an e.d. easier?
[Rant/Rave] What is wrong with me?
/u/Boringfantasyland [Height:164cm | CW:108lbs | BMI:18.49|Gender:M]
Created: Mon Dec 25 12:00:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m2xis/what_is_wrong_with_me/
---
I'm honestly not sure where my life is heading or where I want it to go. I thought I had left my eating disorder behind. I told myself I was just losing weight before Christmas because of all the chocolate I was going to have. Through restricting I finally I got back to a slightly underweight BMI Christmas Eve.
I was supposed to enjoy today but now I'm purging meals and desserts in the bathroom. I don't want to gain weight. I want to get back down to my lowest maybe further. I feel lost
[Thinspo] Before and after thinspo
/u/smallest_madeline [F 5'0" | CW 106 | HW 125 | LW 80| GW 85]
Created: Mon Dec 25 11:59:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m2xda/before_and_after_thinspo/
---
I’m super motivated by before/after pictures. But it’s been really hard to find good ones lately. I prefer normal/slightly chubby —-> thin and lean.
I used to use Instagram for that but now all the people on there want big butts and lots of muscles and I’m not into that look at all...
Where do you guys find good thinspo?
[Rant/Rave] Flushing food down the toilet
/u/laurasia3oo2
Created: Mon Dec 25 11:28:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m2rp4/flushing_food_down_the_toilet/
---
So I got given so much food at Christmas, like chocolates and whatnot, I've been binge eating all day. I know that with my bad self control at the moment, the only thing that will get me to stop is the food not being there. I am too depressed and lazy to leave my house so I have just flushed two packs of biscuits down the toilet. It's just that I don't need it.
[Rant/Rave] satisfied and conflicted? (and happy holidays to all of those who celebrate)
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: uw | f | 22 ]
Created: Mon Dec 25 11:17:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m2pkx/satisfied_and_conflicted_and_happy_holidays_to/
---
it's christmas (i'm ethnically jewish but we celebrate christmas without the christian aspect like a lot of 1/2 jewish families do i guess!). my mom just told me that i need to gain weight. she said that she could feel my spine and that i looked far too skinny. she told me to eat three times a day, at least. but i haven't lost the recovery weight yet—i'm only a few pounds away. i had a vivid dream last night that i was standing on a scale and weighed 113 and i freaked out because that's so much higher than i've been in a long time. my size 00 jeans are too big (but they're mom jeans so they're supposed to be big, right?). my doctor told me to gain. i have a very bad iron deficiency from not eating. i don't feel skinny enough yet—i'm *not* skinny enough yet.
today, i'm going to eat whatever i want to. we have cinnamon rolls (huge fear food) and bagels (moderate fear food, i can only eat one if i won't eat bread again that day), and cheese and crackers (cheese ugh!!), and hot chocolate mix, and we're making pasta and casserole tonight and i'm going to try to eat what i want, and the amount that i want, and not feel badly about it. i know that intuitive eating isn't sustainable for me right now, but today i'm making an exception. maybe because i feel validated?
happy holidays to those who celebrate christmas. i hope that you all have a wonderful day and manage the food part of the holiday without too much stress. this sub has given me so much support over the last few months. thank you for that! you all deserve the best.
[Rant/Rave] Managed to fast through Christmas Day completely...!
/u/HappierHungry [♀ | 5'10½" | BMI: 17 | CW: 55.5kg | GW: 50kg |]
Created: Mon Dec 25 10:34:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m2hjg/managed_to_fast_through_christmas_day_completely/
---
... aaand I'm choosing to ignore, for now, that I mini-binged for three days leading up to it and focus on this mini-victory 🙋🏼
Swings and roundabouts, hey?
Merry Christmas! 🌟
[Rant/Rave] Ate too much, feel like a dying fat blob and not eating tomorrow.
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 57.5 kg | -26 kg | 22F]
Created: Mon Dec 25 10:34:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m2his/ate_too_much_feel_like_a_dying_fat_blob_and_not/
---
Just as the title says. I ate way too much. I ate so much I felt like vomiting which means I'll fast tomorrow to get back to restricting like a good girl so I won't ballon to 60kg again in just 1 week. Luckily I'll be busy the next few days so fasting won't be as hard. I feel like shit but at least the food was tasty.
Merry Christmas everyone, hope you all feel better than me and got nice presents.
[Discussion] Holiday distraction thread
/u/pm_me_ur_eyeholez [5'4.5" | CW: manhole cover| HW: 250/LW: 130/GW: 107| 26F]
Created: Mon Dec 25 09:35:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m26fl/holiday_distraction_thread/
---
I need a distraction today from everything food and family chaos, and I think others might too! What was the best present you got? What's your favorite holiday movie? What was the best thing that happened to you all year?
I got a spiralizer AND a new gym bag yay
I love the Gremlins
I passed the bar exam
[Rant/Rave] Why do people always give chocolate at Christmas?
/u/vaguly-french-girl
Created: Mon Dec 25 08:57:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m1zmq/why_do_people_always_give_chocolate_at_christmas/
---
So many people gave me chocolate for Christmas. One friend gave me a chocolate orange that I’ve already regifted to someone els. My parents gave me two bags of chocolate coins and I don’t know what to do with them. I guess I’m going to have to find someone els I can give them to because I don’t feel okay throwing food out but I can’t eat them.
But remember Christmas might be hard but you’re going to be okay. Any weight gain is temporary try not to be too hard on yourself.
Stay safe
[Rant/Rave] I think I have been experiencing the "extreme hunger" thing :c
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 138 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Dec 25 08:41:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m1wyk/i_think_i_have_been_experiencing_the_extreme/
---
Earlier this year, I listened to several episodes of a podcast focused on ED recovery and intuitive eating, and a lot of what I've been going through remind me of the phases of eating disorder recovery I heard about on that show. Thankfully I think I am getting to the stage where my cravings are calming down. But they are still stronger than I'd like. Idk. I think I'll be ok as long as I stop gaining weight soon. I want today to be the first day of "normal" eating for me, i.e. eating at maintenance and all that shit. So yeah. End ramble.
[Rant/Rave] Starving into the New Year
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW:142 |CW:123 |20.6 |GW:110 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 25 07:47:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m1o6h/starving_into_the_new_year/
---
I did pretty well at any family’s dinner last night and was able to get away with basically eating a few spoonfuls of rice and drinking a shit ton of Diet Coke. Even still, I’m going to challenge myself to restrict to as little as possible or just full on fast until the new year.
I’m moving back home in January which I’m terrified about but it’s also more incentive to drop as much weight as possible before then. IM DETERMINED!!
Also, side note, but I’m happy because all the clothes I got for Xmas were extra smalls and for some reason I wasn’t expecting to fit any of them but they all fit perfectly and one of the size smalls is baggy?? I’m really glad about that!
[Rant/Rave] I'm like a skeleton
/u/tragicallyletdown
Created: Mon Dec 25 07:18:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m1jp8/im_like_a_skeleton/
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Does anyone ever have a day where they just see sense and just think "holy fuck i'm thin" because like i was getting ready for dreaded christmas dinner and i think i just really saw myself. And it's terrifying because I know I nEED to stop this, but I'll get to my Aunts house and still eat as little as possible and I'll wake up tomorrow and obsessively weight myself and break down and fast all day. This is what anorexia has done to me. I won't see sense again until it's too late.
Sorry, just the only place I could share this. Have a very Happy Christmas and if you don't celebrate have an amazing day anyways :)
[Rant/Rave] my family got me all medium/large clothes as gifts and its bothering me so much
/u/booger-burger69 [5'3 | CW: 117lbs | UGW 100lbs | -18lbs | 21F]
Created: Mon Dec 25 07:16:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m1jiw/my_family_got_me_all_mediumlarge_clothes_as_gifts/
---
I know I’m not fat. I’m fatter than I want to be, but not overweight. I’ve lost 20 lbs in the past year, went from 135 lbs to 115 lbs. All my clothes are a little baggier on me now, and I’ve had comments from friends and family on how I’ve lost weight. (My ED stems from a need to control something in my life when I’m extremely stressed, and a need to punish my self/self destruct.)
But my dad and stepmom (mostly my stepmom) got me a few clothes for christmas and they are all either medium or large. I fit into small/xtra-small clothes because I’m slender and short.
But now I’m worried I’m fatter than what I think. If my stepmom, who wears medium/large clothes and looks about 20 lbs *overweight*, thinks I wear the same size as her.....
I had to tell them I’ll have to exchange some clothes because they’ll be huge on me, like some medium/large sized tights and a medium sized sweater that’s designed to be a little loose anyways.
EDIT: So I made this post right after we opened gifts and my ED definitely caused me to overreact. I asked my dad why he got me large sized sweatshirts/sweatpants and he said its because all my comfy/lounge clothes look huge on me so he thought I buy large sized stuff (when really its cuz sweatpants are always huge in the pant leg no matter the waistband size, and I’ve lost weight so everything seems larger on me).
I didn’t ask my stepmom about it because I really think she is jealous of me for multiple different reasons, something we’ve struggled with for years, so she didn’t want to buy me smaller clothing than her.
My extended family all commented on how much weight I’ve lost, which my immediate family then suddenly noticed and asked me about later... so I think another big factor was the fact that its harder to see changes in people’s appearance when you see them everyday!
So yeah, my ED caused me to freak out about nothing instead of being rational and grateful for my gifts. Thanks for the replies though! <3
[Rant/Rave] Over indulgence won't ruin progress
/u/daintydaisydoll [5'1.5 / CW:102 / BMI: 19.72 / GW: 85]
Created: Mon Dec 25 07:05:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m1htx/over_indulgence_wont_ruin_progress/
---
I assume a lot of people diets/lifestyles have gone to shit over Christmas and Christmas Eve so I'm just trying to remind myself and others I guess that 2 days won't ruin progress. It's my mantra at this point "two days won't ruin progress"
[Help] Merry Christmas!
/u/light_as_a_feather04 [5'6 | 106 | 17.0 | GW: 98| 34/F]
Created: Mon Dec 25 06:48:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m1fg9/merry_christmas/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Going vegan has made hiding my ED soooo much easier
/u/orthoreXXX [22F | 5’4” | cw 120lb | gw 110lb | bmi 21]
Created: Mon Dec 25 06:11:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m1aji/going_vegan_has_made_hiding_my_ed_soooo_much/
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Okay so before I became vegan my family and my SO’s family would always make a big deal about me not eating at family dinners and whatnot and my family would literally make me plates with fried chicken and mac and cheese on it then get terribly offended when I didn’t eat it.
Well, I recently went vegan and now have an excuse for not eating anything at family functions!! All they ever cook with is butter (lol) and pretty much all I have to do is drink coke zero and schmooze and everyone gives me props for “being healthy”.
Y’all, if you’re having a hard time hiding it and really want to, just go vegan or even pretend you’re vegan 😂
[Help] Merry Christmas, everyone! Just a quick question regarding medical fasting supplementation.
/u/xerox13ster [5'7" | 298.4 | Goal: 270 | 46.7 | 0 | F ]
Created: Mon Dec 25 05:36:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m16a5/merry_christmas_everyone_just_a_quick_question/
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[removed]
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! December 25, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Dec 25 05:14:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m13ud/weekly_stats_update_december_25_2017/
---
This is the weekly status thread for December 25, 2017.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! December 25, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Dec 25 05:14:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m13tm/daily_food_diary_december_25_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 25, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] Oh my god I fucked up
/u/clemintide
Created: Mon Dec 25 04:05:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m0w9h/oh_my_god_i_fucked_up/
---
I struggle with nocturnal eating, where I wake up in the middle of the night on auto pilot and then I eat whatever I end up grabbing, sometimes it’s just snacking sometimes full on binge. I’m awake enough to know I’m doing it but asleep enough to not want to stop, or I wake up the next morning thinking, “Did I really do that?”
Lately I’ve been getting better with it, like I’ll just lay in bed when I wake up and try to ignore the urges or eat fruit instead or drink water. But last night, I don’t know what happened. It felt like I was in a trance. At least I felt more asleep than I usually am.
My mom was keeping a liter bottle of diet soda in the living room, which she was gonna use as a chaser for when she drank Christmas dinner with my family. Seeing it reminded me of drinking it last night, I looked closer, MORE THAN HALF OF IT IS GONE!!!!! I don’t even know what I’m gonna tell my mom??? LISTEN MOM I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT HAPPENED??? Even if I told her I was “sleepwalking” who drinks all that soda??? This sucks but is also so funny to me, wow. Well can’t wait to try to explain myself
EDIT: my nocturnal eating is definitely due to not eating enough throughout the day or restricting so I know it can’t be emotional? Which makes it even worse, my mom doesn’t know about my ED
[Rant/Rave] Accomplice
/u/gotanaoohnana
Created: Mon Dec 25 03:22:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m0rs9/accomplice/
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I... I can’t believe my luck.
I’ve told my husband that the antidepressant I take in the morning makes me nauseous and kills my appetite until midday, and eating makes it worse. (For the record, it’s 100% true)
So we’re at breakfast with super foodie in laws who **love** cooking and feeding people. And this guy, this fucking guy, sneaks most of my breakfast off my plate. Breakfast: 100 calories. Offers of more food: 19047. BUT, comments on how I don’t eat enough: 0.
[Discussion] What makes you feel safe?
/u/mimidudette [5'8" | CW: 145 | HW: 175 | GW: 125 | 20F]
Created: Mon Dec 25 03:19:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m0re0/what_makes_you_feel_safe/
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Some part of me feels like I am constantly yearning for safety. I'm not really sure what danger I'm in or whatever and it's definitely related to my anxiety, but I've also noticed that /proED talks about feeling/wanting to feel safe a lot. What does safety mean to you and what helps make you feel safe?
[Discussion] I've wanted to lose weight for 5 years now, trying everything, countless day ones, and all in all I've accomplished absolutely nothing.
/u/FUCKuNSALTEDcROUTONS [5'6 |CW:156.8 | GW: 125 |F 18]
Created: Mon Dec 25 02:13:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m0kc3/ive_wanted_to_lose_weight_for_5_years_now_trying/
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[removed]
[Help] Can an ED and bulking mix?
/u/infinityscousin
Created: Mon Dec 25 01:13:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m0dqv/can_an_ed_and_bulking_mix/
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[removed]
[Help] Anyone have good tips to avoid binging?! Or anything to quell the starving feeling?
/u/hollowedheart_
Created: Mon Dec 25 00:30:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m08sv/anyone_have_good_tips_to_avoid_binging_or/
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I can't be alone in the kitchen for too long or I'll eat everything in there!
[Help] Uni students
/u/chocolattts
Created: Mon Dec 25 00:21:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m07t7/uni_students/
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How do u cope w the brain fog and lack of energy besides coffee?
[Discussion] DAE 'Chew' and Spit...
/u/PineapplePrincezz [Height: 5'2.5" | CW 104 and fat AF| BMI: 18.54 |LW: 81.5| F]
Created: Mon Dec 25 00:13:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m06x9/dae_chew_and_spit/
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This may sound really bizarre, but does anyone else suck on hard candies and spit them out/ C&S chewy candy???
I feel really weird asking because I haven't ever met anyone who does, but I guess this would be the place to ask :P
It makes me feel like such an awful person since i'm wasting so much money and probably taking in so many calories but it also helps me to not eat and i just feel torn about the behavior
[Other] Constantly conflicted about whether I actually have an ED or not
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 25 00:02:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m05gs/constantly_conflicted_about_whether_i_actually/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I have the flu.
/u/You-Key-Oh-Me-She-Ma
Created: Sun Dec 24 23:23:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7m00dm/i_have_the_flu/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE not actively count?
/u/chocolattts
Created: Sun Dec 24 23:05:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lzxuu/dae_not_actively_count/
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Does any one else not strictly count calories and just restrict by portion size/how you feel? Does that make sense? Idk I feel like when I'm restricting for longer periods, or just really feeling like I need to restrict I don't actually weigh measure or count. Anyone else?
[Rant/Rave] I appreciate everyone in this sub so much, you are all such wonderful people and I do not know where I would be without you. Have a happy holiday, be kind to yourself, you are not alone, we will all make it through
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Sun Dec 24 22:43:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lzuqh/i_appreciate_everyone_in_this_sub_so_much_you_are/
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Honestly like the title says I feel so blessed to have this space and for everyone’s support. We are all just trying to get through our disorders and you are the only ones that understand.
I wish they didn’t exist, but they do, and it’s so incredibly hard. None of us deserve this.
I wish I could have a support group like all of you in real tactile life. Not a treatment center, just a group to talk with. If only this existed.
Thank you all for your kindness. I just wanted to say how much I appreciate everyone here. I wish there weren’t so many that share this pain I do. I want to erase all of your sadness, if only this was possible.
Although tomorrow and this week will be so hard for us all, remember we are not alone. Thank you for your support over this year and have a happy and peaceful holiday💜
[Other] Holidays
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 98 | 16.5| GW 94 | F 23]
Created: Sun Dec 24 22:32:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lztaz/holidays/
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It's been a while since I've posted and I love you all and hope the holidays go easy for all of you lovelies. I had an eve binge...im still binging...and I feel upset but I feel like this is my present. December I said no binging until Christmas. Well I made it till Christmas eve! And I like that I gave myself this present and I hope I can resume my present after my second Christmas (I have to let myself go my grandma is making CHEESY GRITS! I REPEAT CHEESY GRITS! As well as french toast casserole) so yea bye tmrw I'll get skinny onnn....tuesday? Either way GW is 93 I hit 94.9 today and I guess after my predicted 8000 calorie binge for today and tomorrow...well I'm not too badly off track. Fuck my probs though. Merry holidays! Stay as gorgeous as all y'all are and love yourself and treat yourself and be kind to yourself, that's all I ask. 😚
[Other] How many calories is the body of Christ
/u/LiamNeesonsMegaCock [5'4'' | CW: 145 lbs | 25.38 | GW: 105 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Dec 24 22:15:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lzqjz/how_many_calories_is_the_body_of_christ/
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Like I know the fucking wafer is like 15 or less but c’mon, that blessing’s gotta add some fat
[Help] How Can I quickly drop water weight?
/u/vitalogy95
Created: Sun Dec 24 22:11:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lzq2q/how_can_i_quickly_drop_water_weight/
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I ate kinda of shitty yesterday and today and I gained 6 pounds. I only ate a little over my TDEE one day and I ate under it today, so I’m sure this is water weight but it’s making me panic. What Can I do?
[Discussion] I absolutely hate eating with other people, especially my family
/u/Rocket_to_Russia_
Created: Sun Dec 24 22:03:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lzopi/i_absolutely_hate_eating_with_other_people/
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Whenever I have to go out to eat with friends or have dinner with my family, they always judge me on how much I eat. 1 slice of pizza or half my sandwhich is apparently too small, and when I only have one serving of dinner my mom or dad pesters me if thats 'all" im eating. For f sake, these are normal portions I'm eating here and I get judged for it? But when someone else eats more than they should, thats normal. I'm not even eating too little, just healthy foods and I'm turning down treats during the holidays. Apparently eating healthy, normal amounts is not normal now.
[Rant/Rave] You know how christmas can kind of suck sometimes?
/u/BluestNovember [5'4" | SW: 200+ lbs | CW: too high | BMI: under 40 | -26lbs | F]
Created: Sun Dec 24 21:24:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lzinc/you_know_how_christmas_can_kind_of_suck_sometimes/
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After dinner, I was sitting around with my extended family looking at old pictures of myself... and I looked fat even then.
Everybody around me's all beautiful and thin, and here's me, almost pretty, if I wasn't so fucking fat.
I'm going to get there. I was Christmas pictures where I'm not the fat one for once.
[Help] I think my 16 yo cousin has an ED
/u/peaches-petite
Created: Sun Dec 24 20:54:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lze3d/i_think_my_16_yo_cousin_has_an_ed/
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I'm not sure what to do about it. Or if I should even do anything.
We aren't that close; I'm older than her and only see her a few times a year for easter/xmas. I've heard she's in therapy for something but not specifically what.
She's very petite (I should not use her for thinspo but oops?), and I don't really see her eat at family functions. She often gives food to the dog.
The thing is, I want to reach out because hey! I have something in common and want to make sure she's okay. But I dont /want/ her to have an ED, and definitely don't want to exacerbate it if she sees that I have one too.
She's only 16 and likely still finding herself. I don't have her phone number. What do you think? Should I stay out of? Should I reach out? What if I'm wrong? Maybe she doesn't have one? What if she needs someone to talk to? I'm feeling at bit mixed about this. :/
[Discussion] Thinspo advice for lollipop/apple shaped women
/u/fuckingupleftnright
Created: Sun Dec 24 20:51:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lzdph/thinspo_advice_for_lollipopapple_shaped_women/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Holidays
/u/chocolattts
Created: Sun Dec 24 20:36:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lzbe0/holidays/
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[removed]
[Other] Obvious alcohol tolerance PSA
/u/gotanaoohnana
Created: Sun Dec 24 20:16:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lz8ij/obvious_alcohol_tolerance_psa/
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I’m a dumbass. Turns out losing weight, abstaining from drinking, new medication, and averaging 800 calories per day... really lowers your alcohol tolerance...
So now I’m accidentally extremely drunk with the in laws, trying to play it cool, but also fucked off because my husband won’t kiss me - even on the cheek. He’s all “don’t try to make me do something I’m uncomfortable with” when I’m feeling a little sad and in need of affection but HEAVEN FORBID I’m falling asleep while he’s awake horny.
Fuck Christmas. Seriously fuck it.
Sorry on mobile, tag [rant]
Edit to add: omg FUCK I get why you always mention getting drunk and overeating. This is my first time drinking since I started restricting again - not generally able to binge but suddenly hungrier than I’ve been in weeks. Fuck! Any advice always appreciated 🙃
[Rant/Rave] Compliment I don’t really like
/u/2017HeyJude [1.59m | CW 47.7kg/105lb | GW 45kg/99lb | BMI 18.9]
Created: Sun Dec 24 19:12:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lyypw/compliment_i_dont_really_like/
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[please flairbas rant, I’m on mobile as always...]
So tonight was Christmas Eve dinner in my family. Half way through it, I was alone with my cousin (cigarette break) and she asked: « did you lose weight? », which I was half dreading half hoping (as you do...). I said something along the lines of « yeah a bit because I was sick but I saw my doctor everything is ok ». And then she added « but it suits you, just I noticed you lost weight but it looks good on you ». Which is NICE I know that, but my stupid brain just heard « how fat where you before for her to think that you are ok now » and « i don’t want it to suit me I want to look sick », and now I just want to lose a ton more weight until next time I see her. It’s stupid and i hate myself for that.
But otherwise, I had a really nice Christmas Eve dinner, didn’t eat a lot and had fun. I hope you all got through it as well.
[Discussion] can we talk about munchausen syndrome and eating disorders?
/u/funnydontneedthat [5'2" | 111lbs | 20.70 | FTM]
Created: Sun Dec 24 19:02:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lyx50/can_we_talk_about_munchausen_syndrome_and_eating/
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Uh, pretty anxious to post this, but here goes nothing.
I don't know if this makes any sense or not or if this isn't allowed by the rules but, in general I tend to make myself sick, in various ways, for attention cause I'm a lonely and depressed bitch, but several years ago(I've been on this subreddit for a while) I managed to give myself an eating disorder.
I mean, obviously that's not good, not at all, but it works for me(?).
Wow, I sound fucking crazy.
I don't know what else to say, I know it's wrong but I do it.
Be gentle, please.
[Rant/Rave] Will I ever get over my self-esteem issues...because I honestly wonder...
/u/katya_del_rey
Created: Sun Dec 24 18:50:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lyv7p/will_i_ever_get_over_my_selfesteem_issuesbecause/
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Anyone else ever feel like they’ll never get rid of those negative voices inside of your head. That you’ll never be content with the way you look and present yourself to others. That you’ll always have to deal with sadness regardless of when and where you’re at in life.
I’m currently at a Christmas get together with people who love me, and I’m about to go on a date with a great guy in a few days, but honestly deep down my inner voice is dragging me down. I feel like shit. I feel fat. I feel unworthy of love and life.
Will I ever be saved...because it’s times like these where I seriously start doubting that will ever happen for me...
[Rant/Rave] I’m alone for Christmas and it’s all my own fault.
/u/lasirenexx [5'4" | CW: 104.5 | BMI: 17.9 | GW: 99.5 | 29F]
Created: Sun Dec 24 18:13:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lypmi/im_alone_for_christmas_and_its_all_my_own_fault/
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I’m at home alone sobbing while my husband is with his family out of state, because I was afraid I’d get drunk and eat something I’d regret. My own family is emotionally abusive and cold. They’ve never even invited me home for a holiday since college almost a decade ago, and one year during school, I house sat for them while they went on a fucking vacation over Christmas.
My spouse’s family has treated me with such warmth and kindness every time we’ve gone to visit them for the holidays. They’re also pretty health-conscious, so I know there would have been “safe” options for me and no one would judge me for just eating turkey, but when we went up for Thanksgiving, I drunkenly ate a piece of cake and felt so bloated, disgusting and ashamed the next day. So here I am, crying on my couch after having worked out for hours and I ate what I eat almost every night for dinner: eggs.
Yesterday, I helped my husband do Christmas shopping, and he bought me something I’ve wanted to be able to wear for a long time: a pair of black high-waisted Lululemon Wunder Unders in the smallest size they carry, since most of my old pairs aren’t tight enough to create the thigh slimming effect that fuels my Lululemon legging obsession.
I didn’t try them on at the store, because I just knew they would be perfect, and I slipped them on once I got home before I ended my 18-hour mini-fast, and I’d never felt so beautiful and proud of my discipline as I did gazing at my reflection in a pair of overly-priced, plain black leggings. I have few friends and am very socially isolated, and now I’m missing out on spending time with people who care about me because I didn’t want to destroy my progress.
[Other] I don’t know if this is the right place.. but I’ve only had 179 calories today and I’m pretty stoked about it; it’s the best I’ve done.
/u/IrritatedIntrovert
Created: Sun Dec 24 17:52:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lym8k/i_dont_know_if_this_is_the_right_place_but_ive/
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[removed]
[Help] Hey guys, I need a bit of diet advice.
/u/plantheadkade
Created: Sun Dec 24 17:52:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lym7d/hey_guys_i_need_a_bit_of_diet_advice/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Relapse triggered by a pair of shorts [Rant]
/u/BoyzinMotion2000
Created: Sun Dec 24 17:50:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lylvf/relapse_triggered_by_a_pair_of_shorts_rant/
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I have been struggling with EDNOS for a few years. I was stuck in this habit of restrict, binge, purge. For the past 2 years I have recovered by doing something called intuitive eating. I would eat when I'm hungry and stop when I'm full. This did nothing to help my terrible body image issues that would tell me I'm disgusting, a fat slob, no one would ever love me, people should be embarrassed to be seen with me. Then I learned to restrict and then binge with no purge. I am currently 5'11 and 156 pounds. Every moment I spend in this body is hell.
After a week of >500 cals a day (exersise burns a lot lmao, i lost 1.5 pounds in one practice) and I get to call it "cutting" bc I do wrestling now haha, I absolutely broke down when i had to wear a pair of shorts at a meet. My thighs are huge and jiggly and I had a girl say she wanted to be "slim thick" like me, and another ask me how i got thighs like that. I get that they're supposed to be compliments but i just hear that im hella fat. I purged today for the first time in 2 years.
Perfect
Just perfect
[Discussion] DAE find themselves more inspired by thinspo that resembles a thin version of themselves??
/u/m_inimal
Created: Sun Dec 24 16:52:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lyc74/dae_find_themselves_more_inspired_by_thinspo_that/
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While I can definitely appreciate their beauty, I have a hard time feeling motivated or inspired by images of thin people that there is no chance I will ever look like -- like if they are a completely different height, body type, etc. I tend to veer towards images that spark that feeling of "I could look like that someday". Anyone else feel the same?
[Rant/Rave] "I'll go as long as possible without eating so my calories for the day might still be low" Lol
/u/Dr0pDex [172cm | 45.3kg | 15.04]
Created: Sun Dec 24 15:55:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ly25o/ill_go_as_long_as_possible_without_eating_so_my/
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[removed]
[Discussion] December 24th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 24 15:39:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lxz91/december_24th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What’s a recent transition in your life?
[Rant/Rave] Mouth hurts too much to eat, what a Christmas miracle.
/u/lavendersmoke [5'5" | CW idk?? | GW 105 | SW 135 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 24 15:23:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lxwcv/mouth_hurts_too_much_to_eat_what_a_christmas/
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[removed]
[Help] Need some insight on purging
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Sun Dec 24 15:19:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lxvkt/need_some_insight_on_purging/
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God I have been posting a lot this weekend.
So I’ve never been heavy into purging bc it is a slippery slope and if I purge after a big meal and then don’t gain any weight I will believe I have to purge every time I eat a big mean to avoid weight gain.
But lately it’s crept back into my life and I want to know how purging has worked for other people- I was led to believe that purging doesn’t actually help you lose weight bc no matter what calories would be absorbed and you can’t purge everything you have consumed, not to mention that if you plan on purging you will eat more. But clearly that has to be somewhat inaccurate if so many people do it.
Also i feel like purging is only beneficial if you do it immediately after eating- thoughts?
I am not asking for advice and I REALLY don’t want to end up purging regularly and I know how terrible it is for you and I don’t want to be even more fucked up, I just want to have more information about if it even is helpful...
I’ve purged in the past but only occasionally and I’ve been doing it lately but only I think 2x in the past week- Christmas just really has me considering it.
[Help] Can someone do me a favor
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Sun Dec 24 15:19:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lxvjp/can_someone_do_me_a_favor/
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And convince me that binging tonight will not make a difference in my weight or cancel out my 110 hour fast....
that’s what I tell people when they stress but I just can’t get myself to believe it
Unless I’m wrong 😂
[Help] got given chocolate
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 24 14:50:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lxq1j/got_given_chocolate/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] What the hell is a low effort post and can I please just get some fucking support here...
/u/ShouNinja [170cm | CW 56kg | BMI 19.32 | GW 52kg | 20F]
Created: Sun Dec 24 14:13:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lxizw/what_the_hell_is_a_low_effort_post_and_can_i/
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I feel like trash, I felt so bad with all the food around all the time so I made a post saying that I was distressed and was gonna get myself drunk af to maybe not go crazy today. Apparently that was a low effort comment or something and it got removed. Sure I thought and continued with my day but then I lost control completely and binged hard af and made another post, a rant basically saying that I thought that I had control over this holiday but apparently not and that I'd lost my cool and binged hard af and that I had a panic attack over it and that I felt like trash and that life could go fuck itself. Apparently that too was a low effort post or something and it got removed as well. None of my friends are available and I can't even post anything here to get any support without having it taken down. Is it some other fucking rule I'm breaking or why are my post getting taken down? I've literally been locked in my cousins bathroom for like 40 minutes trying to purge even though I never succeed cause I don't know what else to do... I can't take this... I just need someone to say something to me ffs... Please don't take this down and can someone just send some hugs or anything... I'm a mess...
[Rant/Rave] Holy shit I just broke down in a restaurant bathroom...
/u/rabbitvcactus
Created: Sun Dec 24 13:55:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lxffl/holy_shit_i_just_broke_down_in_a_restaurant/
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So yeah...
I was eating out with my family at a posh Italian place, and the very sight of the food made me run away and cry ;-;
I puked. Lots. I cried. Lots. And it all felt so, *normal*...
I was practically being forced to eat, even though I just couldn't. AND THEY WERE MAKING ME EAT.
AGHHHHHHHH i just want to die :(
[Help] This month has been hell...
/u/Fantasisingfunerals [117 | BMI: 17.9 | 17]
Created: Sun Dec 24 12:46:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lx24o/this_month_has_been_hell/
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I have been binging non stop and I’m too afraid to weigh myself; pretty certain I am up by at least 10lbs.
Please please please give me an idea of how to NOT binge. I plan on having Just over 300 cals tomorrow to kickstart back into restriction, but what do I do when the temptation is real???
[Rant/Rave] Who else is dreading tonight and tomorrow?
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW:142 |CW:123 |20.6 |GW:110 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 24 12:24:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lwy40/who_else_is_dreading_tonight_and_tomorrow/
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Between family dinners and stuff like that I am fucking STRESSED. I haven’t eaten anything besides half a cookie at work, and even that has me trembling. I’m already nervous about having to sit at the table with my family and being expected to eat a whole meal. I’ve literally restricted to under 200 calories a day and water for the past week in preparation for today but I’m so fucking nervous. I have some good excuses ready if anyone points out that I’m not eating a lot but uuughgggg kill me.
[Help] What’s a good comeback for “Is that ALL you are eating?”
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 24 11:56:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lwskd/whats_a_good_comeback_for_is_that_all_you_are/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lwskd/whats_a_good_comeback_for_is_that_all_you_are/
[Rant/Rave] I seriously need to step off this scale.
/u/periwinklecircles
Created: Sun Dec 24 11:15:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lwkl5/i_seriously_need_to_step_off_this_scale/
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I usually restrict my intake substantially. I weigh myself often, but only in the mornings when I haven’t eaten. I go through a week of very fast weight loss and am addicted + elated.
THEN... I magically gain 2 lbs overnight after hitting a low. Logically, I know this is most likely water weight. It still tears me apart. This results in a binge :))))))
If I just don’t weigh myself I probably could keep myself consistent. But then I doubt I’m actually losing so I need the scale. I’m so sick of this.
[Rant/Rave] A Christmas rant/a Christmas rave
/u/throwawayformyanon
Created: Sun Dec 24 11:13:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lwk51/a_christmas_ranta_christmas_rave/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Fuck...
/u/ShouNinja [170cm | CW 56kg | BMI 19.32 | GW 52kg | 20F]
Created: Sun Dec 24 11:04:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lwi71/fuck/
---
[removed]
[Help] Today is day ten of my fast. I’m worried about Christmas tomorrow.
/u/YetAnotherCrazyGirl
Created: Sun Dec 24 10:57:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lwgyv/today_is_day_ten_of_my_fast_im_worried_about/
---
[removed]
[Tip] Activities to do during a fast!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 24 10:47:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lweze/activities_to_do_during_a_fast/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Can we talk about narcissism?
/u/cacathrowaway
Created: Sun Dec 24 10:42:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lwdze/can_we_talk_about_narcissism/
---
Like, *our own* narcissism. For those of you who struggle with it. DAE here struggle with narcissistic traits? I don't have full blown NPD, but I do possess narcissistic traits. I'm definitely working on them. But I'm realizing that my self harm is connected to it. And, since my ED is very connected to self harm, my ED is also connected to my narcissism.
I'm really curious about others' experiences with narcissism. Partly because I feel like it's such a taboo thing to talk about in ourselves. We shouldn't feel ashamed for it, though. It's just another psychological issue. I know narcissistic abuse is a thing, but I know not every narcissistic person is an abuser. So let's talk about it?
[Discussion] Autoimmune Disease and Eating Disorders
/u/skinnykitty1 [5'5'' | 124.7 | 20.8 | UGW: 115 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 24 10:09:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lw72t/autoimmune_disease_and_eating_disorders/
---
I've wanted to ask this question on this sub for a long time (I've had multiple accounts here, but have deleted them for various reasons).
Does anyone suffer from autoimmune disease in addition to an eating disorder? I ask because I do, and I've seen quite a bit of research stating that there are connections between the two.
If you do suffer from both, which do you think came first and do you think there was causation or any correlation between them?
[The Increased Risk for Autoimmune Diseases in Patients with Eating Disorders](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4141740/)
[Eating Disorders, Autoimmune, and Autoinflammatory Disease.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29122972)
[Eating Disorders: Could They be Autoimmune
Diseases?](https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/f279/1d0f86ca36eb91ea5b8ce0f170ef6389b566.pdf)
[Rant/Rave] I just ate an entire bowl of Lima beans
/u/themomofthegroup
Created: Sun Dec 24 10:05:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lw69g/i_just_ate_an_entire_bowl_of_lima_beans/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Fiance and vacation problems
/u/m1e2o3w4 [5'4" | CW 83.4| GW 80 | SW 115 | 22F]
Created: Sun Dec 24 10:04:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lw641/fiance_and_vacation_problems/
---
Hi, this is my first time posting on here. I'm so happy I found this community. I feel like I have so many problems right now lol and I need to get them off my chest. One is with my fiance. He really wants me to start gaining weight, but I'm not ready yet. Our wedding is January 26th, and I can't gain weight or I won't fit into my dress! But that's only one of the many reasons that I'm nowhere near wanting to gain. But he's being really adament, saying he wants to start checking my weight and if I keep losing then I either have to stop working out or he'll be taking me to a hospital.
To top it all off, we're going with some of my family to Disneyworld next week, and I am SO nervous about having to eat in front of everyone. Also nervous about Christmas tomorrow with both our families.
I've binged 3 of the last 6 days because I've let my hunger and my fiance get the better of me. Still managed to reach a new low weight 83.4 yesterday, but then I ate all the food and the scale says 85 today. Yaaay :/ Ok, I'm finally done complaining.
[Help] I've completely lost control.
/u/bagelzboi [5'3 | CW: uhhhhhhhhh scale broke]
Created: Sun Dec 24 09:59:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lw4yj/ive_completely_lost_control/
---
I went from 125lbs to around 80lbs this year. But for the past month I've been doing nothing but binge on around 3-5000 calories a day, I've started purging, three times in the past month, I feel constantly hungry and insatiable but also sick from stuffing myself. I've dropped out of uni and don't know what I'm going to do. I don't even know who I am anymore.
[Help] Confused about calories
/u/skinnykitty1 [5'5'' | 124.7 | 20.8 | UGW: 115 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 24 09:52:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lw3fk/confused_about_calories/
---
I've eaten at least over 1000 calories my TDE for the past 6 days. Astonishingly, I'm only up 0.2 pounds from 6 days ago. I'm ecstatic to have not gained, but what the hell is going on?! Is this normal? Will I all of sudden gain 10 pounds tomorrow? Any experience with binging but not gaining would be so appreciated.
[Discussion] How to get through Christmas
/u/ShouNinja [170cm | CW 56kg | BMI 19.32 | GW 52kg | 20F]
Created: Sun Dec 24 09:50:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lw368/how_to_get_through_christmas/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Why do I do this to myself?
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'3"|115|X|X|F]
Created: Sun Dec 24 09:13:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lvvul/why_do_i_do_this_to_myself/
---
Because i want to not be me, I want to be better-smarter, prettier, calmer, perfect.
I cope better with this.
I don’t ever want to feel fat again—the physical feeling, the mental deterioration, the self pent up shame
It’s a high because I will always choose to feel euphoria than depression
I cannot be pretty so I decide and I destroy myself
I’m hitting a wall today.
[Rant/Rave] "You're looking healthier." 🔪
/u/bagelzboi [5'3 | CW: uhhhhhhhhh scale broke]
Created: Sun Dec 24 08:58:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lvt4c/youre_looking_healthier/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Perks of being a vegetarian
/u/Strawberry2point0 [5'8" | CW: 156 lbs | GW: 120 lbs | 21M]
Created: Sun Dec 24 08:44:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lvqm6/perks_of_being_a_vegetarian/
---
[removed]
[Other] You are worthy and you can get through this
/u/borbolete [🍑: borbolete]
Created: Sun Dec 24 08:43:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lvqgm/you_are_worthy_and_you_can_get_through_this/
---
Whether you are recovering or restricting or binging or just trying to get through this period, you are worthy and amazing. If not in your eyes, if not in those around you, then you are in mine.
Whether you're just about coping or whether you're melting down or you're holding it together (I was coping with the fesitivities and actually eating normally and then today had a meltdown out of the blue. Bah!) I am proud of you. I know how hard you're working just to make it through the day. To keep a smile going or even to just keep breathing. Whether you're running off to have a panic attack every few minutes or whether you are holding it all together until the very end. Even if you get through the whole festivities without a problem, I still believe in you and am proud of you - you don't have to be binging or purging or restricting to have a problem, and I believe in you and your issues, big or small, secret or overt.
You are strong and amazing and you can get through this, one moment at a time.
Please feel free to leave your messages below and let there be little beacons of hope throughout this thread and /r/proED all day. Lord knows we need it.
[Rant/Rave] Big Ass Party vs ED
/u/littleloaudio [5'1" | CW 132 | GW 110 | -17 | 22f]
Created: Sun Dec 24 07:52:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lvhgb/big_ass_party_vs_ed/
---
My boyfriend’s family has their big Christmas party on Christmas Eve – so like, tonight.
I’ve gained a pound in the past week because we’re staying with his parents and they seem to make every meal together and my safe foods are few and far between. I’m freaking out a little over that, but not as much as I am about tonight. Not only am I meeting ALL of his extended family in one go, but there’s a massive dinner and insane amounts of snacks everywhere. So, anxiety x1000.
Anyone have tips/tricks for getting through parties like this? Right now all I can think of is to stand next to the veggie tray and not move. But that’s probably not socially acceptable. 🙃
[Other] Little hugs for the holiday season for all of you wonderful people
/u/2017HeyJude [1.59m | CW 47.7kg/105lb | GW 45kg/99lb | BMI 18.9]
Created: Sun Dec 24 07:33:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lvejk/little_hugs_for_the_holiday_season_for_all_of_you/
---
[on mobile, sorry can’t flair]
Christmas time is hard on all of us, I know some people don’t have people to celebrate with, while other do but would rather not see them, and others just struggle because it’s a hard period.
I just wanted to send you all hugs and a bit of courage to make it through these days. This sub has been so comfy for me, just knowing I’m not alone and sometimes ranting to you, I guess I just want to give a little something back.
❤️ So whatever festivities or not you’re having today and tomorrow, just know I’ll be thinking of you gals and guys, and wishing you all The very best ❤️
[Help] hate christmas
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 24 06:29:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lv4zd/hate_christmas/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lv4zd/hate_christmas/
[Rant/Rave] Holidays can suck it
/u/light_as_a_feather04 [5'6 | 106 | 17.0 | GW: 98| 34/F]
Created: Sun Dec 24 06:29:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lv4wc/holidays_can_suck_it/
---
The last time I purged on a regular basis was over 5 years ago... and every day this past week, I’ve been purging regularly (2-3 times a day). I’m even purging my safe foods now. I didn’t think a week would send me right back to 5 years ago but it did. I noticed two nights ago, I went to the restroom to pee and ended up purging my dinner as well (it was almost subconscious). Last night I purged my dinner so I could have dessert and felt so guilty I purged dessert too.
I weighed myself this morning to find I’m 2 lb heavier?! This is why I need a straight jacket and a padded cell 🤪
[Other] Staff Christmas Breakfast
/u/Therinnyone
Created: Sun Dec 24 06:08:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lv22t/staff_christmas_breakfast/
---
I had my staff Christmas breakfast this morning. Ever since starting this job I have packed on 15 lb. There is always candies and snacks and all kinds of yummy things around, and I caved all the time. It would turn into full on binges.
I started knitting at work (I work for a cell phone company at a small kiosk in the local mall) or just cleaning whenever I got cravings. I am finally back to my pre-work weight and I am so happy!
We had our Christmas staff breakfast this morning, and everyone have bought all kinds of baked goods and ordered really yummy looking things, but I managed to be good with just my cup of coffee. Honestly the thought of eating any of the food on the menu which was all grease and carbs caused me so much anxiety.
All the chocolates and Foods in baked goods that everyone gifted me has already been reallocated as gifts for other people that I know.
I'm sorry I know this is kind of pointless and long right now but I'm just so proud of me for not caving and giving into temptation!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! December 24, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Dec 24 05:11:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7luuzg/daily_food_diary_december_24_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 24, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your favorite recipes!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Dec 24 05:11:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7luuwo/sunday_share_your_favorite_recipes/
---
Looking for memes? [Right this way~](/r/ProEDmemes)!
[Discussion] What are your reasons for not choosing recovery?
/u/LocalSixteenth
Created: Sun Dec 24 04:33:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7luqs0/what_are_your_reasons_for_not_choosing_recovery/
---
(I know some of you maybe trying to recover and I truly wish you the best wish your recovery especially in the Christmas period)
Having been through the whole process myself there was definitely a period (before It got too serious) where recovery wasn't an option, I was loving my disorder and no one could change my mind . for those who aren't ready/choosing not to recover what are your reasons/thoughts/feeling behind it? Why is your life better with your ed that without it?
Edit: I do not intend this to be motivation for pro- ed's, I'm only curious to how other people's disorders affects them, please keep this in mind in replies.
[Help] How to trick myself into eating more?
/u/Lost_In_DeepSpace
Created: Sun Dec 24 03:48:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lulun/how_to_trick_myself_into_eating_more/
---
I was never able to eat more than the bare minimum of daily food no matter how good it tastes and I allways knew that that wasn't very healthy but I never cared about that until now. But now I need to gain a specific amount of weight in an specifc amount of time but eating more than the bare minium makes me nauseous instantly. How can I trick myself into eating more?
[Rant/Rave] Im so torn
/u/Fefe887
Created: Sun Dec 24 03:36:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lukmd/im_so_torn/
---
I used to be severely anorexic but i've been "recovered" for three years with the exception of a few week long relapses. Recently, due to family/school/social triggers ive felt the urge to relapse that feels stroger than my past urges. I feel like if i relapse now, i'm gonna get to my lowest again and not just give up after a week. However, the recovered part of my brain keeps rationalizing myself out of relapsing by saying stuff like "you're an adult now, you're allowed to have fat on your body", "why does it even matter if you're fat, were floating on a ball in space and we're all gonna die anyway", etc. I have two very strong voices in my brain and i'm so stuck. Any advice?
[Rant/Rave] Hate being on holiday
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 24 03:16:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7luijd/hate_being_on_holiday/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7luijd/hate_being_on_holiday/
[Help] Thought I could really enjoy christmas this year...
/u/glitterbugjjj
Created: Sun Dec 24 03:14:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lui7n/thought_i_could_really_enjoy_christmas_this_year/
---
I thought it would be so fun whilst having drinks and chatting to family. Yummy food and dessert, and now that I'm weight restored, I can really enjoy it, right?
So wrong. This will not be a purge free Christmas. It'll be like every other year.
I also plan to cut tonight after 5ish years clean. Halp.
How do I eat at maintenance?
/u/gross9876 [5' 3" | 122 | 🐳 | -24 Lost | Gender]
Created: Sun Dec 24 01:47:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lu8n1/how_do_i_eat_at_maintenance/
---
I've read in old posts that the best way to trigger a whoosh is by drinking a ton of water and eating at maintenance.
However...whenever I have tried eating more than ~1000 cals I end up purging. After eating bagels or sliced bread I *always* purge, so those are maybe out of the question.
I could eat two 170 cal servings of oatmeal twice tomorrow...I probably wouldn't purge that. But how do I keep myself from purging just in case?
[Discussion] DAE get bumps in their stomach?
/u/runjumpflip [5'3 | CW 110 | 19.5 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 24 00:39:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lu01e/dae_get_bumps_in_their_stomach/
---
So whenever I restrict a lot or fast, I get these hard bumps in my lower abdomen. They're not like bumps that protrude out, like you couldn't see them by looking at me, but it's sort of like, you can feel it with your hands, and it feels like there's something hard inside your organs. Almost like when you get a giant knot in your back. It's not muscles (my abs aren't THAT fantastic), and it's not a food baby cause I haven't eaten in hours. I've gotten these sooo many times over the years and never found out what they were, and been too scared to google it. Does anyone else get this, and does anyone know what they are? Thanks lovelies!
[Rant/Rave] It's only Christmas Eve(ning) and I've already binged
/u/ThinnerBirb [5'7 | CW:120lb | GW:100lb | HW:130lb | 18.9 BMI | 19F]
Created: Sun Dec 24 00:07:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ltw7d/its_only_christmas_evening_and_ive_already_binged/
---
I've eaten so much already today and I know tomorrow's gonna be even worse ;;
Me and my fiance got so much chocolate (gotta love wrapped boxes where you can tell what it's gonna be lmao) and even though I haven't even gotten it yet it's making me anxious
I've already ruined today by eating so much..I said I was gonna eat maintenance and I've gone so far over that it's horrendous..
how am I gonna survive tomorrow when I open everything and am just surrounded by chocolate until it gets eaten? how tf do I deal with it?
I'm so anxious and I just want to eat it all tomorrow so it's all gone but I don't knowww..
any help/advice anyone? 💙
[Discussion] DAE ever not fit into the smallest size
/u/carlisam9797 [5'2" 19F | CW 119 | SW 130 | GW 105 | UGW 99]
Created: Sun Dec 24 00:07:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ltw63/dae_ever_not_fit_into_the_smallest_size/
---
I was in a store called & Other Stories earlier and tried on a dress only to have it practically fall off of me. The lady told me the 2 was their smallest size and it was massive. Awesome feeling (even though I'm not even thin)
[Rant/Rave] I hate holidays
/u/deathpetals
Created: Sun Dec 24 00:06:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ltw0k/i_hate_holidays/
---
I'm not someone who has family. I hate trying to turn on cable tv for background noise (lost my smart tv remote) and be inundated with all the family-centric commercials. I know I create my own reality but sometimes what constitutes as society's is... very depressing for me.
The only person I would consider my family is my ex, who I posted recently about. We were best friends for 4 years, dated for 3, then broke up and stayed codependent for another 1 year. We're riding on the end of that. I invest so much of myself into his and I's relationship (because commitment or not, our interactions qualify as such honestly), and one of the biggest things since 2 years ago has been my weight and how it affects my confidence.
I was assaulted at some point and it was traumatic and affected my mental health so badly. His too. But... Things are different now. I'm nowhere near where I thought I'd be at this age (24). And his life stage is superceding mine. I'm very attached to him. But... I don't think it's quite mutual anymore.
He's in town as of today, and a year ago he would have come running to my door... But these days he's distant and doesn't even let me know he's on his drive.
I'd been doing so well with my body. Working out and restricting. But the past week I've been sad. And today I got drunk (as I usually do before I can give myself the balls to post on this account) and its hitting me how different our relations are now. It hurts. I hate how it affects my ED. I'm not quite binging tonight but I am eating way more than I should. I almost don't want to see him.
I hate the comorbidity of mental illness. Depression and anxiety and cptsd and ice and borderline tendencies... I'm so fucking broken. I really can't blame him for not wanting me romantically anymore. All I can do is focus on my physical appearance. Because as an objectively pretty girl (sorry), my weight affects my life drastically in every way.
I'm sorry for my ranting. :(
[Help] Thought I could handle Christmas but I’m really stressing
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Sat Dec 23 23:55:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ltun8/thought_i_could_handle_christmas_but_im_really/
---
I thought I would be ok letting myself eat freely for Christmas dinner, even if that meant over eating but now I am not so sure.
I can’t get out of eating and I know once in exposed to the food I will lose control. I’ve been starting to purge lately and I am so mad at myself for it because now I can’t stop myself.
I have purged in the past but never let myself do it regularly because I know it is a slippery slope but my ED has been out of control lately and getting really bad.
By Christmas dinner I will have fasted about 110 hours so that should make me ok with eating like a normal person, but no. Instead I am terrified of having a bloated stomach (I am so fucking lean right now) and feeling full. I know I will eat so much and I know I will feel obligated to throw it up.
I so badly wanted to give myself a break from this shit for the holidays. If I purge after dinner it is going to compel me to purge every time I eat and i really don’t want to have that problem to and feel that way, especially because I only ever eat around other people.
I am so fucking stressed about this I can’t even sleep and I have to be up so early tomorrow.
I don’t know how anyone can help me but I really need it 😭
Edit: also I just realized that purging isn’t even a solution because I likely would have to wait for people to leave to do it and isn’t it pointless if you don’t do it right away??
[Rant/Rave] It’s Christmas Eve morning trying not to binge
/u/ABlueSongbird
Created: Sat Dec 23 23:41:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ltstc/its_christmas_eve_morning_trying_not_to_binge/
---
Hullo happy Christmas Eve and a merry new year! It doesn’t feel like Christmas Eve but what is Christmas Eve supposed to feel like. Drinking tea in the kitchen trying not to binge on cookies. Only thing stopping me is if I binge I’m going to fall asleep while doing it and choke to death. So instead I’m pacing round the kitchen table drinking tea. The fucking weird things ED makes you do at the early hours of the morning. I should do jumping jacks burn calories ahead of time for the feast later. Wtf am I even writing. Can you get drunk with no sleep and food or Acohol.
[Rant/Rave] this is fine (rant)
/u/EdgyCamel
Created: Sat Dec 23 23:30:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ltren/this_is_fine_rant/
---
A week ago today I finally felt ok about not calorie counting and not being significantly under my maintnance. I wasn’t just ‘recovering’ well, I was proud of my progress and change in mindset. I felt in control of my life.
I can’t believe it only took a week for all of that to go to shit. Ate 600 calories today ‘to see if i still could w/ my parents’ and ‘so i can let myself eat more later without guilt’. Because that’s exactly how that works. It’s not even the low calories I mind it’s what I know it’s doing to my mind and showing about what’s been done to my mind. Between isolation from my friends and being constantly, aggressively misgendered by my entire family I literally feel my mental health plummeting. I was manic yesterday (the beginning of the end) and started fantasizing again about suicide today, with 2 weeks of school break left to go. It looks like once again I’m starting my next quarter of school- my busiest, most intense coarseload yet- barely functional. So yeah holidays suck that’s all
[Rant/Rave] my desire to clothes shop correlates with how many calories i ate
/u/shiraruru [159cm | 45.7kg | 2.3kg | f]
Created: Sat Dec 23 23:00:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ltna2/my_desire_to_clothes_shop_correlates_with_how/
---
clothes shopping is best when prices are cheap. stores i visit where prices are cheap are usually located overseas. family vacations mean going overseas. family! vacation! means! eating!
currently overseas with my family and we're just chilling, visiting malls. i feel ungrateful and terrible because i have absolutely zero mood to buy clothes since we just ate and i feel so damn fat. i'm trying to look for clothes anyway because i'll regret it later when i feel 'okay' again but shopping now just doesn't feel the same.
urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
edit: mobile app glitched and i forgot to flair this as a rant/rave... whoops!!
[Other] Just so upset with myself
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Sat Dec 23 22:30:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ltj4c/just_so_upset_with_myself/
---
I’m so insanely depressed right now. I was doing so well, restricting, felt okay with myself.
For the past few weeks I’ve been binging/eating normal, purging sometimes if I have the energy. My depression makes me feel so down purging seems like a massive task.
After the 25th I have to go back to being me. Without my ED I’m just crippled with depression. When I’m depressed I eat. I feel I’ve gained, I know if I weigh I may actually kill myself. So many suicidal thoughts over this. I am pathetic, out of energy. I freaked out last night I can feel the fat touching my muscles and bones. It hurts, my boyfriend said there is no way to feel fat but I do. I literally feel it in my body forming.
I hate hate hate myself so much.
[Rant/Rave] This is only way I know how to distract myself from the sadness.
/u/anonymousalmondmilk
Created: Sat Dec 23 22:09:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ltfsa/this_is_only_way_i_know_how_to_distract_myself/
---
I just graduated in May. “Moved” out to LA for a job opportunity that didn’t work out. So I got a job making $20/hr that barely covers my bills and now my student loan payments that kicked in last month.
I put “move” in quotes because I’m staying with my grandparents since I can’t afford anything else.
I desperately want to move home but am too afraid to do so without a job lined up. And I haven’t been at this one long enough to get a good reference or transfer (only been there since beginning of November).
I feel like such a failure for being a college grad and too stupid and useless to make anything out of myself. I can’t even picture the day when I can afford to live on my own.
I feel like such a pathetic burden. Only thing I can focus on and control is losing weight and getting thin.
I’m so sad. This is going to be the worst Christmas I’ve ever had. I feel so horribly alone.
[Discussion] Is anyone else always out of breath?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 23 21:05:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lt51c/is_anyone_else_always_out_of_breath/
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I'm not sure if this is an ED thing or just me but I'm always out of breath, even when I just get up and walk across a room. I work out anywhere between 3-7 times a week pretty intensely so I'm in good shape, ED notwithstanding, and I find it super strange. Anyone else this way or know what might be causing it?
[Rant/Rave] Christmas food sucks
/u/bunkinpumpkin [5'7" | CW: 133lbs | BMI: 21.1 | -12.5 | GW: 125lbs]
Created: Sat Dec 23 20:26:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lsz18/christmas_food_sucks/
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Someone please save me from holiday food glut. Mother in law came over, made cookies with the kids, left them all here. 4 batches worth. I OCD tricked myself out of eating the chocolate chip cookie ones because I found one with a hair in it but no luck with the (better) butter cookies. I'd have dumped them all if the kids didn't need snack supplies while they're out of school.
Usually I only get weak and purge a few times in a year and reserve my disordered behavior for taking EC stacks. Holidays arrive and I'm almost purging daily. I'm ready to get back to a normal schedule where I live off a bowl of raisin Bran and one "normal" meal most days.
[Discussion] Christmas is almost here. How’s everyone doing?
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Sat Dec 23 20:22:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lsyad/christmas_is_almost_here_hows_everyone_doing/
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This time of year sucks for so many of us for so many reasons, and I thought maybe it’d be nice to have a thread where we can talk about how we are/aren’t coping with the season. So tell me, how’re you doing right now?
I’ll start?
I’m having a really shitty time lately. So bored and purposeless without school, and nobody cares about me enough to invite me to their Christmas events, so I’ve spent most of a week alone. I just feel so lonely and like Christmas wasn’t meant for people like me. Like I don’t deserve to be happy or loved right now.
Today, a person I consider a close friend put me in a really uncomfortable situation by assuming I’d drop everything this week to petsit for her, and leaving town before I could refuse to do it. Now I’m stuck rearranging all my own Christmas plans to make sure I can take care of her cat for a week, for free, when it takes me more than an hour to drive there and back every day. I’m broke; I can’t even afford the gas to get there. She would never take care of my dog for that long, even if I paid her. Yet she’s making me feel like an asshole for being angry. I feel used, like she thinks my plans are obviously way less important than hers. If I were a shittier person, I just wouldn’t show up, but I can’t let an animal suffer because his owners put me in a garbage situation.
[Rant/Rave] First time eating in the south..dear god
/u/antelsa [5'11" | F]
Created: Sat Dec 23 19:52:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lstet/first_time_eating_in_the_southdear_god/
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So, I’m in a state in the southern US for the first time in a while (since ED started). I just went to a restaurant here for the first time, and JESUS CHRIST HOW DOES ANYONE LIVE LIKE THIS??
I ordered one of the only non-meat items on the menu, a side of grits and a side of green beans. What I actually got:
—A bowl of heavy cream immixed with moderate quantities of a grain (this was after I asked how the grits were served, and the waitress said “plain”)
—Green beans drenched with copious amounts of butter
—Complimentary dinner rolls, cornbread, and jalapeño poppers
I am beyond butthurt and feel so disgusted with myself and this stupid restaurant. It’s not like this was some random hick place either, the food was expensive and the environment was nice. But the food. Jesus. I never want to go to another restaurant in the south again.
Anyone in the south, are all restaurants like this?
[Rant/Rave] Howhowhowhowhowhow
/u/ikillsouls [5' 2" | fat | gross | Ugw: 85 | 20f]
Created: Sat Dec 23 19:34:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lsqfe/howhowhowhowhowhow/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend has no idea...
/u/supemery
Created: Sat Dec 23 18:58:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lskep/my_boyfriend_has_no_idea/
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I am doing keto and calorie restriction and staying below 900 calories a day, aiming for 500-700 and my boyfriend knows so little about food and nutrition that he thinks this is totally okay. I've lost five pounds this week and he's congratulating me. Part of me kind of wishes that he noticed and was worried, but I also like that I can do me and it is okay.
Then, of course, my brain is like, maybe he hates you the way you are and he's happy you're losing weight because you are so repulsive.
[Rant/Rave] My mom is my ultimate reverse thinspo. Starting a fast as soon as she leaves..
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Dec 23 18:51:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lsj90/my_mom_is_my_ultimate_reverse_thinspo_starting_a/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I really wish I was actually thin enough to be having the symptoms I'm having
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Dec 23 18:28:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lsf9r/i_really_wish_i_was_actually_thin_enough_to_be/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Do you guys have thinspo music?
/u/quoth_the_phoenix
Created: Sat Dec 23 18:16:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lsd8l/do_you_guys_have_thinspo_music/
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I’m obsessed with Lana Del Rey. She encapsulates a kind of fragile beauty to me (aka thin and perfect but dark and vulnerable).
Taylor Swift is also thinspo music bc she is physically perfect pretty much
Also total stereotype but Creep by Radiohead “I want a perfect body I want a perfect soul”
I love music HMU with any recs you have actually.
[Discussion] Confused about dieting vs ED :/
/u/I_give_up_258
Created: Sat Dec 23 18:07:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lsbo9/confused_about_dieting_vs_ed/
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So today I logged into this account and got some messages from my post in the fasting subreddit and their advice + evidence of successful weight loss seemed so simple and actually made me excited to start a diet. But then when I clicked this sub, it was like I completely forgot what a simple fast or diet was and all of my bad habits and failed attempts flew back into my head. I don't know if this sub, or this kind of stuff is a trigger for my ed (I have BED if you're wondering... but I used to have ednos, binge-restrict style).
I think that the reason why I keep failing is because my past experiences with failing are holding me back, and keep convincing me that a diet is bad and diets lead to ed-thoughts, which is dumb. I don't know how to differentiate between diet and ed thoughts, but I would really like that simplicity and hope that I felt earlier today to stay with me.
Maybe the only difference is that with dieting thoughts are simple but with ed, thoughts are complex and negative? Idk, but I'm gonna try to get them back.
[Rant/Rave] I can only love extremely thin people
/u/allyoucaneathatesme
Created: Sat Dec 23 17:15:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ls1vq/i_can_only_love_extremely_thin_people/
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I fucking hate myself for it but I won't date people who are bigger than me, they have to be thinner. I go for girls and guys who are naturally uber thin because I don't ever want to push my Ed on someone who's not thin. I know I would if they were fat...
[Rant/Rave] Nothing makes you feel like a fucking hambeast like Christmas shopping for clothes with your mom :))))
/u/InterchangeableMoon [Height 5'0" | CW 110 | GW 98 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 23 17:06:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ls04x/nothing_makes_you_feel_like_a_fucking_hambeast/
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I was at H&M with my mom earlier and found a bunch of cute things that i liked and was really excited about. I went to try them on, showing her what they looked like every time. She never says anything directly about my body, but she's very quick to point out exactly how things don't fit ("Oh, that looks a little bit tight there." "I think it's a bit too low cut", etc.)
I realize that these are helpful critiques to a certain extent, besides the cleavage thing which just makes me feel gross and self conscious. I like my breasts, they are probably the only part of my body I'm even remotely okay with. For context, I am 24, we are not religious or particularly conservative, and I don't live with her. But some of her comments made me return clothing that i would've otherwise purchased and been happy/confident in because I just felt too guilty and disgusted with my body due to her comments.
I'm now sitting with her at the hotel room we're staying at together for the holidays while visiting with family and i just feel resentful and sad. Does anyone else have any advice for similar situations?
[Discussion] i have realised that i am not only fat, but ugly too.....
/u/daisyhands
Created: Sat Dec 23 16:40:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lrvhx/i_have_realised_that_i_am_not_only_fat_but_ugly/
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and it’s the worst feeling ever.
[Help] I look 6 months pregnant...
/u/chimichanga_mischief [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Sat Dec 23 15:54:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lrmwe/i_look_6_months_pregnant/
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I'm currently on a beach vacation with my family. As you can guess I've been stressing about this for months, and it's just as rough as I thought it would be.
Even though I've been stressed about this vacation for months, my binge eating has gotten completely out of control in the past months. As a result I am at my all time highest weight (5"4 183lbs). I am so angry and ashamed of myself for letting myself get to this point. For the last few days before the trip I knew I couldn't lose a significant amount of weight so I tried to convince myself that I was there to relax so I should try to focus on that, and I tried to think about the nutrition/vitamins in food I was eating instead of emotional eating or obsessing about calories.
I was already not feeling great about it because I was wearing one of my summer dresses and I could feel it tighter than it was. I went down to the pool to swim and read, and when my mom came down and she saw me in my swimsuit (a bikini top and running shorts) she told me that I looked 6 months pregnant and took me to buy a one piece swimsuit for the rest of the vacation. I'm devastated and so embarrassed.
I feel terrible because I know that I'm lucky to go on vacations and I don't want to seem ungrateful, or ruin the trip for others by being in a bad mood. But I can't get this out of my head. I don't want to do anything or go anywhere that people can see me, or wear any clothes that aren't super loose. Other family members are joining us tomorrow and I don't want them to see me at all. I feel terrible for ruining this trip by not trying harder to lose weight before the trip, and by being so upset about it now even though I could have done something.
[Rant/Rave] Losing weight in unexpected places
/u/avaflies [5'4" | GW bone]
Created: Sat Dec 23 15:52:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lrmhg/losing_weight_in_unexpected_places/
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When I put on my choker this morning I noticed I had to put it on as tight as it would go and it was still a tiny bit loose. A couple of weeks ago I closed it 6 or 7 chain links up. I think I lost a lot of these 5 pounds in my face, neck and chest. I'm happy about it but super surprised!
Looking for some advice
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Dec 23 14:36:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lr7p4/looking_for_some_advice/
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[deleted]
[Help] Is coffee calorie free? Especially in a regular cup of black coffee or an americano?
/u/hollowedheart_
Created: Sat Dec 23 14:13:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lr323/is_coffee_calorie_free_especially_in_a_regular/
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I like to drink decaf coffee but is it low enough to drink a lot of it especially if you restrict calories? What do you guys like to do? Help! Haha
Thank you
[Rant/Rave] I hate small snacks with tons of calories !!! >:(
/u/Brizyse [5'5"|CW:Too Many|UGW:115|17F]
Created: Sat Dec 23 13:44:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lqxei/i_hate_small_snacks_with_tons_of_calories/
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So my dad just brought home crab salad and spinach and artichoke dip with crackers and I was so excited to eat some!!! Until I realized how many calories were in those things. 60 damn calories for 5 little ritz crackers. Like 180 for 4 tbsp of the spinach and artichoke dip. So mad. I didn't eat much at all and my calorie count almost hit 400. So not worth it.
[Discussion] Recovery & Feedback Wanted Please!
/u/snail_love [5'6" | F | CW: not enough | GW: never enough]
Created: Sat Dec 23 13:38:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lqw5j/recovery_feedback_wanted_please/
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Hey everyone! You may or may not know me. I have been in proed since the earliest days and was a lot more active a couple years ago, though I always am keeping an eye on all you wonderful people. I'm a mod here, haven't been particularly active especially the last year because my eating disorder has really spiraled into a bad place. You might have seen (it's in my post history) my rather desperate post about losing my job and all of the horrible things that have happened as a result of this struggle over the past few months.
Quick summary of where I'm at right now - still jobless, extremely depressed to the point where it's hard to even shower, drinking damn near every day, purging at least three times a day and usually more, barely keeping down anything. I swear I'd be dead by now except for goddamn alcohol calories. I feel like a blob even though I'm pretty severely underweight. SO! What is the point of yet another depressing post?
My family had a sort of intervention a couple months ago. In the kindest, least invasive way. In fact, I was really the one who brought everything up after having lost my job. And I can't even begin to express all the love they showered me with. My sister went with me to an ED assessment appointment and she heard every gory detail and she still put her arms around me and I felt all the love in her heart for me. My mother took a tour of inpatient facilities with me. My dad, who makes very little money (really my family is extremely poor), told me he would take a second job or a loan or do whatever it took to get me help. My amazing partner who doesn’t even really believe in therapy said he would do anything I needed to make me feel happy and whole and healed.
And I am finally surrendering. I can't live this way anymore. I am miserable even though my life should be filled with so much love. I will die within a year if I don't get help, I feel my body crumble a little more every day. I never believed recovery was possible and to be honest, I'm still not convinced. But I'm at the point where the choice is literally try this or die. And I don't want to die.. Which hasn't always been true. Death seemed like a good option for a long time. But something has somehow shifted, maybe it's all the love I never thought I deserved that has been poured out for me. And I may still die. I may not recover. But I decided that it's worth at least a genuine try.
I'm going to inpatient in early January. My sister offered to help pay with the money she's been scrimping and saving for her wedding and my dad asked my grandmother for help too and I just can't even believe all these people care enough to make these sacrifices for me. So I have to give this a genuine shot.
My post is mostly to ask you this..
This place is NOT for ever pushing recovery. We do allow posts talking about it though, becuase we believe everyone is at a different place in their journey and we are all supportive of each other no matter what we are dealing with. I am not sure if I should step down as a mod, or if you would accept me staying in that position. I would never, ever presume to know what choices any of you should make and no matter what, I will still be around to give tips and advice and love when I can. I guess I want to know how open you feel about me making posts (appropriately tagged of course) about how it's going or what I'm dealing with or what it's like for me. I can't imagine it's going to be easy by any stretch and I would like to feel I can talk about anything here. Or would that be upsetting? I don't know. Like I said before, I’m not even convinced that recovery is possible so I might end up right back in this horrible place I am now.
Please let me know your thoughts about all of this. I want to be respectful of all of you and I also want to continue sharing my life. Anyway. Thank you so much for being such a supportive and gracious community and thank you for all the love and kindness you share with each other. I can never tell you how much it's meant to me to be a part of this and feel like I'm not alone.
[Other] DAE try to eat more before seeing old friends?
/u/accordingtoging [5'9" | 135 | 19.5 | -40 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 23 13:27:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lqtrv/dae_try_to_eat_more_before_seeing_old_friends/
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My best friend of 10 years moved to NC a couple years ago, so I see her once or twice a year. She has always been one to call me on my shit, her girlfriend has a history of eating disorders, and she knows I have a tendency for unhealthy behaviors. I'm seeing her tonight for the first time since this summer, which was 30lbs ago. I'm currently trying to eat enough of my safety foods so that I look a little less sickly when I see her but can stay under maintenance when we get dinner. Does anyone else make attempts to look healthier when seeing people you love so they don't catch on? Or is it weird that I care this much about upsetting her?
[Other] Don't know who to share with, so i figured I'd share with you~
/u/MandaEskimo
Created: Sat Dec 23 13:17:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lqrxq/dont_know_who_to_share_with_so_i_figured_id_share/
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Last night while we were laying in bed spooning, I noticed my husband feeling my hip bone. I turned a little to look at him and he patted it and said "this, this is really sexy." My hips have recently made a reappearance and he noticed guys, he noticed! I've been riding that high all day. Can't wait until more bones pop up for him to pat 😍
[Help] Dinner is at a place with no veggies in sight...
/u/carefulpizza_ [5'4 | CW: 160.2 | UGW: 107 | F | 🍑 shendelzare]
Created: Sat Dec 23 13:15:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lqrdc/dinner_is_at_a_place_with_no_veggies_in_sight/
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😰
I can't imagine a worse place. Brazilian steakhouse, all meat except for some grilled pineapple. How would you guys handle this?
[Discussion] Declaration to get back to dieting. Kidding myself about moderation?
/u/7_of_cups [5'4 | CW 130 | LW 97 | GW 107 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 23 13:07:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lqpxs/declaration_to_get_back_to_dieting_kidding_myself/
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Have any of you successfully restricted to lose weight "responsibly" after an initial recovery?
I miss being underweight, so much. I went grocery shopping yesterday and remembered how strange yet rewarding it felt having people stare while I spent two hours stressing out about what to buy, examining labels. Im in a real transition point in my life. I mostly gained weight back for positive, healthy reasons, but now I've gotten too comfortable eating too much junk food, yet don't feel comfortable with how my body looks.
I know even now that I'm lying to myself if I say I'll lose weight responsibly and in moderation. I'll try, of course, but I don't know how it will happen.
[Other] I feel fake
/u/HufflePuffPrid3
Created: Sat Dec 23 12:31:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lqicr/i_feel_fake/
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I'm finally seeking treatment and recovery. And now that I'm getting help...I feel like I don't deserve it.
[Help] calories in cauliflower cheese??
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Sat Dec 23 12:19:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lqg29/calories_in_cauliflower_cheese/
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the apps i have seem to rate it a lot lower than i’d expect. how much would you say for a medium serving of homemade cauliflower cheese???💖💖
I'm helpless
/u/tiredeyyes
Created: Sat Dec 23 11:55:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lqb31/im_helpless/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] It never feels like enough
/u/SvelteDreams [5'5" | CW 121.4lbs | GW 103lbs | 21F]
Created: Sat Dec 23 11:34:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lq6p8/it_never_feels_like_enough/
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I never feel like I exercise enough. I'll do an hour solid of cardio and 30 minutes of strength plus yoga and walk and yet my mind feels like I've done nothing. Today, my knees are hurting and I only could do 15 minutes of cardio this morning and like 30 minutes of really easy stretching yoga and I feel so bad. I'm gonna walk a bunch, but I feel like I can't eat anything now and I feel like I should go and try to work out later and ugh.
Does anyone else get this obsessive about exercise?
[Help] I lost 5 pounds this week
/u/kombuchawizard
Created: Sat Dec 23 11:06:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lq0qw/i_lost_5_pounds_this_week/
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Im a 16 year old guy and my heaviest weight was 150 pounds.
That was 2 weeks ago and i am now at 141 pounds. At first i was glad at how i didnt feel the need to eat unhealthy things or binge anymore, but now im worried at how easy it is for me to just not eat anymore. Yesterday the only thing i ate was half a cucumber and the day before that i ate bits of a 6" subway sandwich since i hadnt eaten anything in the past few days. I dont feel longing for food anymore and im scared ill just burn through my muscles and have a heart attack. Im trying to eat normally (3 meals a day) while still restricting.
Any tips on what types of foods to avoid and what types of foods to focus on? Thanks so much
[Help] Inpatient treatment starting - Experiences? What did you wish you knew beforehand? [Ontario]
/u/LiteralMangina [5’7 | 98lbs | 15.3 | -27 | F(23)]
Created: Sat Dec 23 10:57:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lpyy3/inpatient_treatment_starting_experiences_what_did/
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[International responses welcomed]
Hey so I’m starting inpatient at Credit Valley in a couple months and I’m a nervous wreck. Has anyone done this program (or similar) and can answer some questions? They have zero information online!
- Can I have my phone? I plan on downloading some books, tv shows, and games for something to do during downtime
- What sort of behaviours will get me kicked out?
- Same as above but regarding NG tubes
- How were you able to keep paying your bills? I have no family here and no friends that are able to help.
- How controlling are they? I’m picturing supervised showering/shitting, forced to only wear hospital gown for weigh ins (PTSD, can’t take my pants off for any medical professional), no ADHD meds or adding meds I don’t want, stuff like that. Basically I’m asking if I’m going to be able to make my own medical decisions.
- Smoke breaks?
- I smoke weed at night because it’s the only thing that stops the PTSD nightmares, but I don’t have a prescription. Do you think I could still smoke before bed, even sneakily?
- What is something that you were worried about inpatient that never ended up becoming an issue?
[Rant/Rave] ouch
/u/til_wednesday [5'8" | CW: 110 lbs | GW: 100 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Dec 23 10:48:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lpx66/ouch/
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last night my boyfriend sent me a long message about how sexy and beautiful and attractive i am and how he's the luckiest guy in the world.
an hour later, he writes me saying he was high when he wrote it.
ouch.
[Discussion] December 21 - 23 Questions of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 23 10:18:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lpqs5/december_21_23_questions_of_the_day/
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Ugh sorry everyone, busy/depressed still :(
21st: If you could be the best at anything, what would it be?
22nd: Did you meet someone new recently? If so, who was it?
23rd: Whats your favorite cereal?
❤️ Happy Holidays everyone ❤️
[Help] I can't take this Christmas any longer...
/u/ShouNinja [170cm | CW 56kg | BMI 19.32 | GW 52kg | 20F]
Created: Sat Dec 23 10:11:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lppem/i_cant_take_this_christmas_any_longer/
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I was up crying myself to sleep yesterday cause of all the food I'm forced to eat... And like there's food everywhere, EVERYWHERE, ALL THE FREAKING TIME! I just wanna lock myself in my room all day everyday until I go back to my place... I get panic attacks occasionally and it feels like one's gonna hit any second now. I can't take this, I feel like just shouting in everyone's faces that I got an ed and that they need to leave me alone and don't talk to me about food... That would probably just make thing worse though... I need some motivation, thanks everyone ❤
[Rant/Rave] Onederland!!!
/u/FatGirlAnxieties
Created: Sat Dec 23 09:41:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lpj9l/onederland/
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Finally out of the 200s and have entered into Onederland!!! I weighed in right at 199 even but it counts, right?
[Discussion] Do you “dress like you have an ED”?
/u/hellahungryy
Created: Sat Dec 23 09:35:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lphyv/do_you_dress_like_you_have_an_ed/
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We talk a lot about layering clothes and dressing like a bag lady on this sub, but has your ED changed your choices in clothing?? Not only to look thinner—that’s a given. To the bone is a great example of the stereotypical “anorexic chick style” you see in movies and TV, and I find myself emulating that a lot.
What things that you wear make you feel more sick?? For me, I find wearing beanies makes me not only warmer but I think the way it frames my face makes me look more ill. I don’t wear scarves because they cover my collarbones, and I’m always torn on wearing really tight clothes vs. baggy.
[Goal] Reached my ultimate goal weight.
/u/shrinktoavoid [F 5'7|107.8 - Maintenance]
Created: Sat Dec 23 09:25:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lpg4n/reached_my_ultimate_goal_weight/
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My UGW was 107.8lbs, this morning I was 107.4
BMI 16.9, 49kg. Those were my perfect numbers.
I could be thin, yet still be able to maintain healthily.
But now I don't know.
I'm supposed to switch to maintenance calories now, I've even been planning to eat my favorite pizza and a chocolate donut in celebration. But now I'm scared, because surely the scale is lying to me. And surely all the TDEE calculators are lying. And the nutrition labels are lying. So maintenance for me is impossible because everything is a lie and my body is broken. So if I'm not losing, I'll gain.
Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy and proud of myself to have reached this weight. But the excitement also brought a whole lot of anxiety that I wasn't prepared to cope with.
[Rant/Rave] Why I stop weighing myself throughout the day...
/u/PineapplePrincezz [Height: 5'2.5" | CW 104 and fat AF| BMI: 18.54 |LW: 81.5| F]
Created: Sat Dec 23 09:11:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lpdd4/why_i_stop_weighing_myself_throughout_the_day/
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Hi everyone! :)
Wihout going too much into my story, I used to weigh myself up to 7 times in a day when I first started my eating disorder.
Fast Forward to ~ 4-5 years later, I'm in college getting a degree in science and getting ready to apply to med schools.
**skip here if you don't want background** What I've learned about the human body and its capacity to hold *straight up water*:
-corneocytes, the little dudes in the innermost layer of your skin, can hold up to roughly **3x** their weight in water. That means that when you take a shower, or if you go for a swim, your body is going to hold that water in the skin *and you can hold at least a pound or two after swimming or showering*
Drinking water and eating, obviously, will put your weight up above what it would be first thing in the morning.
If your distortions are telling you otherwise, try it for yourself.
Drinking a glass of water or two before stepping on the scale will change the number only by the amount of water you just took in (i literally stood on a scale with a glass of water, stepped off and drank it and stepped back on and it was the same. Had to prove it to myself)
I hope this helps a little bit, i'm rooting for all of you to love yourselves and find some peace of mind <3
[Rant/Rave] Im done with calories
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Dec 23 08:43:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lp8ae/im_done_with_calories/
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[deleted]
[Help] You guys I really need help
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Sat Dec 23 08:19:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lp3xb/you_guys_i_really_need_help/
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I am 72 hours into a 100ish hour fast and I will be working for the next 36 hours- I feel fucking terrible. Everything feels wrong in my body but I am not about to eat or consume any calories- even liquid. I drank as much water as I could yesterday but that wasn’t even 60 oz.
What can help me get through this? Usually it isn’t this bad but I have hardly slept and did Molly 2 days ago so I am obviously not in the best shape, but like I said breaking fast isn’t an option.
I’m planning on getting some Powerade zero and maybe some salt? Any other zero cal suggestions?
Edit: you guys it’s four hours later and I feel even worse, like I legitimately feel like I will pass out today and I don’t know how I am going to make it through work. WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF.
[Help] I'm so fucking bored
/u/NIN_88 [5'3 | SW: 128 | CW: 104 | GW:88 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 23 08:15:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lp355/im_so_fucking_bored/
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My goal is to fast for the last 10 days of 2017. The problem is not that I'll feel hungry or anything like that (I managed to do a 7 day fast not so long ago), but the fact that I'm so fucking bored and don't know what to do, and I usually binge outta boredom.
Idk if this is the right place to ask, but everytime I searched for "things to do when bored" I always get something like "try a new recipe", " go to a restaurant", "eat pizza", and blah blah blah, so I don't think those tips are really directed towards ED-ers. I'm just curious, what do you do to kill your boredom?
EDIT: alright, I really dig the idea to learn crocheting. gonna ask my mom to teach me bc she's a pro in it lol.
[Rant/Rave] I am the biggest idiot on the planet right now.
/u/Fibreoptic_Calico
Created: Sat Dec 23 06:45:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7loolz/i_am_the_biggest_idiot_on_the_planet_right_now/
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I've been bitching and moaning on here about how this restriction cycle feels different, I don't feel ravenous or empty, but neither full or satiated. How I expected to lose more on the calories I was taking in....
Turns out my electronic food scale is broken (which I knew, but seemed to still be holding it together, and y'know, with Christmas round the corner I didn't want to fork out for another) and today I realised it's been *doubling* everything I weigh. #DOUBLING. Oh my god, no wonder I've lost very little weight and been doing 'ok'. It crossed my mind that the portions looked a little bigger, but I was weighing it a few times, so it must be ok, right? Wrong. My ED skews my perception on things so I thought it was that.
My new scales came and the error of my ways (weighs lol) came to light. I am mortified. What a stupid rookie error. Three weeks time wasted. Three weeks moderate restriction that actually wasn't that bad. Three weeks of deviousness and sneaking about. For nothing.
Not only am I heifer but I'm extremely thick too. I totally over thought why this cycle was different when I needed to get back down to the basics. I'm so fucking dumb.
Check your scales guys, sneaky things can't be trusted 😭😭😭
[Discussion] Don't wait before purging
/u/resurrectedpiranha
Created: Sat Dec 23 06:34:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lon3p/dont_wait_before_purging/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Do you care more about your weight, bmi or measurements?
/u/shook_shrimp [163cm | 52kg | 19.89 | Female]
Created: Sat Dec 23 06:10:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lojq0/do_you_care_more_about_your_weight_bmi_or/
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This is just a general question and your opinion is always welcome. For me, bmi counts the most as I feel like someone's height can slightly change and it's easier to compare your bmi to someone else's (even if you have a different height).
[Discussion] While we're talking about the sidebar, can we also discuss not telling people how to hide their disorder?
/u/aurelia-aurita [5'0" | 116lbs | 23.86 | -27lbs | F]
Created: Sat Dec 23 05:43:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7log5s/while_were_talking_about_the_sidebar_can_we_also/
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I feel like I've been seeing this more and more frequently. There have been a couple posts in the past few days just about hiding purging. The first rule on the rules page is "Do not give unsafe advice." I know how extra crappy it feels to get caught (understatement: it's the worst), and that most people eventually figure out on their own to hide their habits, but telling people how to hide purging (or how to hide any disordered behavior) is wicked unsafe and we know it.
(Added note: posts like "The Silent Purger" (which was hilarious) is not included in this. Only people giving specific advice/instruction on how to hide their disorder.)
[Rant/Rave] i feel like i'm going insane
/u/antha19 [5'6"| cw: 152lbs | bmi:24.63 | female]
Created: Sat Dec 23 05:38:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lofg1/i_feel_like_im_going_insane/
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[removed]
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! December 23, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Dec 23 05:11:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lobzf/stupid_questions_saturday_december_23_2017/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for December 23, 2017.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! December 23, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Dec 23 05:10:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lobua/daily_food_diary_december_23_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 23, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Goal] I reached a small goal.
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 57.5 kg | -26 kg | 22F]
Created: Sat Dec 23 05:01:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7loaoi/i_reached_a_small_goal/
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Although I still have a massive stomach pouch and tighs of the size of texas, there is one body part that no longer disgusts me.
Today I realized that the fat rolls on my back are gone! I still can't see my spine or ribs BUT I have a normal looking back now.
And I dropped 1.3 kg in 3 days thanks to redtricting and fasting one day and (TMI) diarrhea. The only thing that's compromising my fast today is that mom bought me some damn good bread (my favorite) and I can't say no.
[Help] Fasting tips for first-timers?
/u/wombtrader
Created: Sat Dec 23 04:09:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lo4ox/fasting_tips_for_firsttimers/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] How on earth do people get skinny without having an ED?
/u/aggressivedoughnut
Created: Sat Dec 23 02:23:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lnsbt/how_on_earth_do_people_get_skinny_without_having/
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Explain to me the food behavior of normal skinny people.
[Discussion] Can we have another peach thread??
/u/elbiscuitface [5'6.5 | CW 109 | BMI 17.66 | GW 100 | UGW 95 | LW 88]
Created: Sat Dec 23 01:40:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lnne2/can_we_have_another_peach_thread/
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[removed]
[Goal] what are people's new years goals?
/u/silverkel
Created: Fri Dec 22 23:35:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ln6vl/what_are_peoples_new_years_goals/
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To mediate some of the nasty holiday binging I've been doing I am going to do a week long juice cleanse, and if I do that successfully, go to a second week. I want to feel light and airy and clean and clear, rather than overflowing and bulgy and heavy. This goal/commitment is really pulling me through right now.
[Help] How to purge more subtly?
/u/Arakance [5'2" | CW: 119lb | GW: 99lb | SW: 125lb | 19 F]
Created: Fri Dec 22 22:39:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lmyli/how_to_purge_more_subtly/
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[removed]
[Help] Help meee having such a hard time
/u/runjumpflip [5'3 | CW 110 | 19.5 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 22 22:36:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lmy10/help_meee_having_such_a_hard_time/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Can we get the mods to change the subreddit's sidebar? We're "perfectionists" who are "achieving perfection"? Uhhh, I think not..
/u/ignorado [🍑: ignorado]
Created: Fri Dec 22 22:31:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lmxas/can_we_get_the_mods_to_change_the_subreddits/
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Am I the only one bothered by this? It seems so bizarre that we are apparently chasing perfection when right below it states what this clearly is: a mental disorder. Am I the only one who gets extreme MPA vibes from this? Which is weird because that's not what this subreddit community is like at all!
None of us are perfections. None of us are achieving perfection. We are dying. What a joke.
[Discussion] What kind of Ana are you?
/u/meltsplitopenandmelt
Created: Fri Dec 22 21:07:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lmjry/what_kind_of_ana_are_you/
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IMO there’s kind of two types:
1. Starve starve starve, maybe drink tea, smoke, don’t eat for days.
2. “Eat” but basically survive off carrots, popcorn, miso soup, Diet Coke, etc.
I personally am bad at making it with just nothing in me so I resort to my shortlist of safe foods. Sometimes I feel less “pure” being an Ana but eating so frequently... although it’s usually just air or raw vegetables.
What about you?
[Help] Best Way to Avoid Binges
/u/bunntendo [Height5'7 | CW132 | BMI21 | WeightLost30 | GenderNB]
Created: Fri Dec 22 19:32:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lm37d/best_way_to_avoid_binges/
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I was restricting really well for a long time and then a couple of major life events happened and I started binging daily. I recently got through a lot of the stress that was making it extremely hard to keep restrictions on myself, but I'm afraid the habit of binge eating every day wont go away. Do you tell yourself anything to try to deter a binge when youre craving one?
[Rant/Rave] When people use your "successful weight loss" as an example to shame other people's dietary choices
/u/i-want-to-be-little [5’1.75 | 112.5 | 21.53 | -32.5 | 17F/NBish]
Created: Fri Dec 22 19:31:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lm30y/when_people_use_your_successful_weight_loss_as_an/
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I'm on vacation with a friend's family for the next week or so and her mom keeps commenting on what I eat. Not like the worried "you should eat more" but the admirational "look what u/i-want-to-be-little is eating, that's a really healthy choice... *stares pointedly at her daughter who's eating ice cream*"
It feels really weird to be treated like this paragon of fitness and health when I'm nowhere near that. I mean, I can barely get through an entire meal without feeling like shit for eating at all. Of course, they don't know about any of it, but it's still strange.
Has anyone had similar experiences?
[Help] Any advice on getting through my birthday dinner?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 22 19:29:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lm2r7/any_advice_on_getting_through_my_birthday_dinner/
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[deleted]
[Help] I just really need some support right now
/u/doesthiseverend [5’7” | “in recovery” (fat) | F]
Created: Fri Dec 22 19:28:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lm2in/i_just_really_need_some_support_right_now/
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(sorry about the rambling and the borderline incoherence... I’m pretty drunk right now and I’m so sorry I just need somebody to hear me)
I’m trying so hard to be okay with food and my body and everything, especially since it’s almost Christmas and it’s supposed to be this happy time where people enjoy food and drinks and one another’s company, and I’m honestly doing a pretty great job (at least in my opinion) at putting on this front of being totally fine and recovered.
It’s all a complete lie though. My actions are not an accurate representation of my mental state. My self-esteem is getting worse by the day, and I’m the farthest thing from okay with my body.
I have no outlet for these feelings and thoughts. I had been confusing in my boyfriend for years, but I really can’t do that anymore. (This isn’t his fault, I honestly have been so unfair to him by leaning on him so heavily for support and it’s not good for him or for our relationship anymore.) I have no one to talk to about this and I’m feeling pretty desperate. I fucking hate myself for how much I ate today, yesterday, the day before... I want to give up. I want to just fast until the shame goes away, and then just restrict perpetually. I don’t really give a fuck how bad that is, because at least I would feel sane again. At least my body wouldn’t feel quite like the fat fucking prison that it feels like right now. It wouldn’t be perfect, but I clearly am not capable of having a normal relationship with food or my body. Why am I making things harder on myself? I genuinely don’t see any benefit to recovery anymore.
Fuck that stupid fucking blob of fat on my lower stomach. Fuck the fat on my thighs that brings them closer and closer to touching every day. Fuck the roundness of my face, fuck the jiggling flesh on my upper arms, fuck the excess flesh on my hips, just... ugh. This body is a disgrace and I deserve the pain and the shame that I feel.
I feel so fucking alone and I don’t know what to do but I just can’t do this anymore.
[Rant/Rave] Too old for an eating disorder
/u/vaguly-french-girl
Created: Fri Dec 22 19:07:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7llypj/too_old_for_an_eating_disorder/
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Tonight I say a friend who’s just come home from uni for the holiday, we haven’t see each other in about 3-4 months and I’ve lost just over 20 pounds.
She told me I was looking good so I thanked her and said I’ve lots a fair bit of weight. She was like “why? You didn’t need to lose weight, don’t tell me you have an eating disorder you’re too old for that”
Just like what the fuck.
A) I’m 19 so not really that old
B) there is no such thing as being to old for a mental illness
C) why the fuck would someone say that talk about fucking insensitive
Feel like saying that makes it seem like eating disorders are something silly and immature little girls go through. Like they aren’t a serious life threatening illness and like I should me “smart” and “grown up” enough not to get one.
[Other] I'm never happy
/u/mimidudette [5'8" | CW: 145 | HW: 175 | GW: 125 | 20F]
Created: Fri Dec 22 19:03:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lly3a/im_never_happy/
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There have been certain binges, most of them years ago but some of them recent enough to be vivid in my memory, that I can remember feeling so safe and warm and *okay*. I always wonder if I'm ever going to have that feeling from things other than weed or food. Like if regular life is ever going to be enough for me. Do you guys know what I'm talking about or am I just completely insane? I want to know the secret that people have to coming home at night on regular days and feeling safe and happy and I don't know how to deal with the fact that everything makes me want to sob my guts out. Nothing bad even happened today I just feel so vulnerable and alone and honestly sometimes I just wish I could erase my whole existence from the world, because I could never hurt the people I love but sometimes I feel like I can't bear to be alive either.
[Discussion] Gf has anorexia
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 22 18:47:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7llv1l/gf_has_anorexia/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7llv1l/gf_has_anorexia/
[Discussion] What are your non scale ED goals?
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Fri Dec 22 18:24:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7llqlv/what_are_your_non_scale_ed_goals/
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I just fit back into a dress I bought 8 years ago 😍
Why did I still have it? Dunno? But I'm so glad I did!
[Tip] founders all day ipa: 147 cal
/u/vctrlcs [5'6" | CW: 150.8 | UGW: 115 | BMI: 24.4 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 22 18:19:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7llpnm/founders_all_day_ipa_147_cal/
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for fellow obsessive calorie counters who love beer :-) (calories are per one can)
[Discussion] Anyone suffer with atypical anorexia?
/u/ItsAllOnMe92 [6'1" | MTF]
Created: Fri Dec 22 17:28:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7llg4q/anyone_suffer_with_atypical_anorexia/
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What are your experiences dealing with this?
[Goal] Finally into the 130s again!
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW: 139.0 | UGW 105 | 25/F]
Created: Fri Dec 22 17:08:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7llbxa/finally_into_the_130s_again/
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139.0 this morning! So happy! I haven't been here in almost a year and a half. I was getting so crazy in the 140s because every time I got close to 139, I'd get taken out to eat or something. I finally pushed through!
My goal for now is just to maintain 139 through Christmas. I can't fast until Monday as much as I'd like to, but I can keep it low carb and low sodium. If I wake up 139 on Christmas again, I'll be happy.
I felt so good today. I can't wait to hit 135 and then the 120s. It always seems so far away, but I know I can do it.
[Help] my obsessive mind is making me crazy
/u/LOdowwnlorettabrown
Created: Fri Dec 22 16:50:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ll8fk/my_obsessive_mind_is_making_me_crazy/
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most times, i am happy to have a crazy obsessive mind that never stops. but lately, i am so annoyed by it. long story short i have a crush on someone who's **separated** who i work with, but who i also think could potentially be someone who makes a lasting imprint on my life. it's triggering my ED so badly and the way i am treating my body. and i know it is not his fault. i obsessively think about him and think about my consumption over and over and over. and i literally can't tell anyone but you guys bc you're really the only ones that have gotten to the depths of my ED. i dont know what to do to help halt these thoughts. weirdly enough my adderall prescription really helps with this but lately this love bug seems to be bigger than that pill (which i hate myself for having to take every day).
how do i 1) any thought techniques to help curb obsessive romantic thoughts (and don't tell me to exercise lmao) 2) how to combat ED major flairs when you find that you like someone
thank you,
loretta
[Rant/Rave] Why are normal people so obsessed with talking about food 🔫
/u/bagelzboi [5'3 | CW: uhhhhhhhhh scale broke]
Created: Fri Dec 22 16:20:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ll2g4/why_are_normal_people_so_obsessed_with_talking/
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I swear normies talk more about their eating habits than you guys. Every meal I hear someone talking about how they're starving cause they haven't eaten all day, or that they're gonna be "naughty" and have an extra spoonful of food, or I'll hear constant comments on how fast people are eating. Stop!!! This is why I love living alone so much, the obsession kills .me.
[Rant/Rave] Maintenance and EDNOS
/u/shook_shrimp [163cm | 52kg | 19.89 | Female]
Created: Fri Dec 22 16:14:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ll1ax/maintenance_and_ednos/
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Okay so just to clear everything up I’m not diagnosed because I’m a minor and my parents legally can and probably would force me into treatment so I was always avoiding diagnosis at all costs. Anyways, for pretty much this whole year my weight is fluctuating between 48-53 which is driving me absolutely insane. It’s like I constantly binge->purge->fast->eat normally (aka give up)->fast again and the cycle continues with a sprinkle of exercise. Anyone have any tips/advice/anything to say because currently I feel like a failure. I started this year at around 48 and now I’m at 52 right now with a highest of 53. I know that this seems really stupid but I feel like my ed isn’t valid at all and I probably shouldn’t be here.
[Discussion] Entering the third day of accidental fasting, whoops
/u/lavendersmoke [5'5" | CW idk?? | GW 105 | SW 135 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 22 15:55:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lkxd3/entering_the_third_day_of_accidental_fasting/
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I moved cities on Wednesday and haven't eaten since I left where I was on Tuesday. At first it was due to being awkward/anxious in my new situation but now it's from genuinely not being hungry and feeling almost more powerful from not eating?? Kind of fucked up
Either way I'm feeling proud of myself because I need to get my restricting back in check and fasting for a few days usually does the trick for me. I did an EC stack this morning in case hunger pains actually due kick in today but so far I'm just feeling good(probably because I'm somewhat high).
What's the longest anyone has been able to fast for after a binge period? I want to see how long I can ride this out.
[Help] Coughing keeps turning into gagging??
/u/get-it_together [5'3" | hahaha kill me | UGW 130 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 22 15:53:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lkwuv/coughing_keeps_turning_into_gagging/
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I've never purged. I was recently sick for about five weeks and I can't take cough medicine because it interacts with my prozac (I'm a fucking mess.) I was coughing to the point of nearly vomiting for the entire five weeks, and now when I cough even lightly I end up gagging so hard I nearly vomit. Has anyone experienced anything like this, and is there a way to stop it? I hate feeling like throwing up every time I cough.
[Rant/Rave] sad
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Fri Dec 22 15:37:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lkth7/sad/
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i went to the christmas market with my friend. i fasted all day because we were going for a meal. i ate but ate too much, didn’t stop when i was full as per as i have completely no self control. i feel so shitty and guilty and it wasn’t even nice food and then later on my friend was joking about my eating habits
“you think you’ll eat a pea and gain weight” etc
basically disregarding all my feelings
i’ve never properly spoke to her about this shit but now i know i defo never can
so now i feel fat and lonely
[Rant/Rave] Trying on clothes
/u/bunkbedsex
Created: Fri Dec 22 15:09:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lkni9/trying_on_clothes/
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Why is trying on clothes such a terrible experience?I was literally in SUCH a good mood and then went to try on NYE dresses at Nordstrom and literally the lighting in those dressing rooms highlighted every single dip and piece of cellulite and fat on my skin.
My arm fat was like protruding over this dress and i literally look so wide like i probably couldn’t even fit through a door way — I’m such a fucking whale.
On top of all that i came home and made an egg sandwich and had clementines, cheese, and rice cakes. I’m up at 759 for the day and it’s only 5pm. I’m shame spiraling 🙃
[Rant/Rave] Nearly christmas...
/u/daisyhands
Created: Fri Dec 22 14:55:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lkkl5/nearly_christmas/
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i’m so so scared for christmas. my mum and i did the christmas food shop today...the house is now full of pringles, festive biscuits, mince pies, breadsticks, cheese and crackers and every other sort of fatty, sugary food you can think of. I’ve really struggled with avoiding it today. In fact, i ate a lot of it just to get it “out of my system” if that makes sense. at least that’s what i’ve told myself. its made me feel quite ill actually so hopefully i won’t want any tomorrow. As for out christmas day meal, oh god no. I’m a vegetarian which is quite lucky as i can miss out on the turkey, the gravy and the pigs in blankets, along with the parma ham, cheese and crackers that we always have for snacks on christmas while waiting for the food. I’m excited for a plate full of veggies but the potatoes are making me the most nervous. and the yorkshire puddings ahhh!!! plus, we always has trifle and custard for dessert and it’s all too much to think about but i can’t stop thinking about it. Don’t even get me started on the massive amount of sweets and chocolates i’ll receive from family members who don’t know anything about me and don’t know what to get me. I’m always grateful, don’t get me wrong, but i always struggling trying not to eat it! i’m just feeling so scared.
To conclude my rant, i’m really fucking scared for christmas.
[Rant/Rave] My favorite "splurge" meal, I'm disgusting.
/u/UnrecoverableFuss [5'4 | GW 115 | CW 160 | HW/LW 198/98 | 28F]
Created: Fri Dec 22 14:38:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lkgvt/my_favorite_splurge_meal_im_disgusting/
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https://i.redd.it/gc7cc4thmj501.png
[Rant/Rave] I love feeling the symptoms of fasting
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Fri Dec 22 14:20:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lkcwe/i_love_feeling_the_symptoms_of_fasting/
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The lightheadedness every time I stand up and the tingling feeling in my hands and toes just remind me of how well I’m doing fasting (idk like 55ish hours so far) and motivates me to keep going.
It sounds really shitty but I hope others understand!
Also I realized I post way more here when I’m heavily fasting 😂
[Help] Exercise help!
/u/cinnabunz3
Created: Fri Dec 22 14:06:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lk9yo/exercise_help/
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I find it hard to get myself to do conventional forms of exercise because I'm scared of too much muscle definition. I understand that it's impossible to bulk up while eating at a caloric deficit, but it's just this irrational fear.
At the same time, I don't want to end up looking too skinny fat. Ideally I'd just like to look soft but with slight tone.
Anyone have recommendations of what exercise I can do to achieve this? For reference, I'm already eating at a 1000 cal deficit.
[Tip] Looking for something to binge watch over the holidays? Overshadowed is a BBC3 Series about an Irish teen with anorexia!
/u/TreatmentTime [5'9 | 149.4 | 21.8 | -15.6 | 24]
Created: Fri Dec 22 13:43:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lk4ol/looking_for_something_to_binge_watch_over_the/
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https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL64ScZt2I7wEZdJoj9yDwcqIzePh23DpY
[Discussion] (discussion) in what ways have you become an ED stereotype?
/u/grape_fruits [5'3.5" | CW 102.6 lbs | 19F]
Created: Fri Dec 22 13:34:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lk2sp/discussion_in_what_ways_have_you_become_an_ed/
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this morning I weighed myself naked after taking a shit and decided to take an EC stack after doing a bunch of sit ups. while wearing a men's size M sweatshirt and my dad's baggy sweatpants. I run on tea and rice/corn cakes and always refuse food and always attempt to subtly look at the calorie count "bc i want to know how much protein is in it". I always deflect with "I already ate" or "nah I'm just not hungry!" or "i'm sooo stressed i can't eat" and am always. cold
how have you guys adopted stereotypically ED habits/patterns/whatever?
[Other] Artful_Heart's Starburst Mono-Diet, Day Three
/u/artful_heart [5'7.5 | CW 96.5 | GW1 95 | GW2 92 | UGW 88 | BMI 14.78 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 22 13:22:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lk03d/artful_hearts_starburst_monodiet_day_three/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Really discouraging first day of trying to eat 1,200 calories...
/u/skydiver89 [5'4" CW 139 GW 125 UGW 115]
Created: Fri Dec 22 13:09:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ljx2k/really_discouraging_first_day_of_trying_to_eat/
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I ate some cream of wheat, which was fine. Go to group therapy and an hour later, eat a banana. Another hour goes by and I feel hot and like I'm gonna puke. Run to the bathroom, and puke my banana up. I'm so sad. I'm trying to do the right thing by finally eating solid food and my body just rejects it? It's almost like a sign I shouldn't recover. It took me 45 minutes to eat some yogurt and half a turkey sandwich at lunch. I couldn't stomach the whole turkey sandwich, even though it tasted really good.
I wanna cry. I feel so sick to my stomach now but I still have to eat 670 calories today. God, fucking how?!
[Rant/Rave] I just purged successfully for the first time
/u/AuntieWhisper [5'5" | cw:100lbs | gw:94lbs | aka: NeverThinEnough]
Created: Fri Dec 22 13:09:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ljx19/i_just_purged_successfully_for_the_first_time/
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And I somehow feel powerful and clever as fuck about it. I worked on being quiet and my mom didn't even know what was going on even though she was close. I just ate my normal everyday oatmeal for lunch and thought - hm - that would be really easy to get rid of, it's just oatmeal.
And here we are. Me - a purely high-restrictor/over-exerciser of more than 5 years purging my only "meal" of the day.
And another weird thought I didn't expect? I'd usually reach for a little chocolate hershey kiss around this time of day because I love chocolate - and I have passed up the opportunity several times because I thought "well that would be too much work to go run back upstairs and purge it so nah."
Edit: I've been having really irregular heart palpitations since I purged. I'm still alive. But I feel like this isn't a good sign.
[Help] Dehydrated af
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 22 13:07:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ljwm3/dehydrated_af/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] My latest dilemma
/u/c_marier [5'6"| 110.2 17.8 | 23F]
Created: Fri Dec 22 13:02:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ljvda/my_latest_dilemma/
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On the one hand there is my need to weigh myself.
On the other hand, there is my dread of having to get undressed and be naked which is just too emotionally taxing, requires energy and movement, is generally awful, and just plain cold.
[Rant/Rave] Wish I had a “weight redistributor”
/u/lavenderbruises [5'10"|CW 115| GW 100| BMI 16.74| 19F]
Created: Fri Dec 22 12:57:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ljuaq/wish_i_had_a_weight_redistributor/
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I’d move the fat from my thighs to my boobs. I’d move the muscle from my calves to my butt. Bam, instant VS model.
Oh genetics, you son of a bitch.
[Help] I think I'm dependent upon EC stacking? Help?
/u/itzybitzysodapop [5'2|CW:136|GW:98|HW:158|19F]
Created: Fri Dec 22 12:56:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ljtzx/i_think_im_dependent_upon_ec_stacking_help/
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So, I started EC stacking a few months ago.
At the time, I had zero tolerance to caffeine (hate coffee and not a soda drinker), and EC stacks gave me a huge stimulant effect. At the beginning, I took them on and off twice a day. I now take it once a day, but I found that until I get my daily dose, I'm extremely groggy and have almost no energy. It almost feels as if I'm dissociating because I'm so tired when I miss a stack.
Now, I just started a 100-day plan of 500 calories a day, so I need the EC stack more than ever. I've found that it still suppresses my appetite for a few hours, and it gives me energy to operate..and I'm kind of scared to come off of it now. I tried to take a break a few weeks back, and after a couple days, I got killer ducking headaches. If I keep my intake to one stack a day ( 1 bronkaid pill and 1 200 mg caffeine pill), it shouldn't have that many ill-effects if I'm on it for extended periods of time, right? I fully expect to taper off of it once I reach my goal weight, which at that time, I'll probably be on the stack for like 8-10 months.
Does anyone have experience with this?
[Discussion] Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 22 12:46:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ljrmm/jillian_michaels_30_day_shred/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I fucking hate vacation
/u/throw_away524
Created: Fri Dec 22 12:32:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ljofj/i_fucking_hate_vacation/
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I am currently on a vacation... fun right? Wrong. Eating out for literally every meal with no access to anything safe is driving me insane.
I was forced to eat half of a giant greasy breakfast and breakfast is always my smallest meal of the day. I am either skipping lunch and dinner or eating both very tiny (which I have no idea how I am going to manage).
Anyone else hate vacation?
[Rant/Rave] Back on track this week after weeks of binging, below 130 for the first time in years
/u/orgy-of-nerdiness [5'5" | 133 lb | 22.3 | -25 | 22F]
Created: Fri Dec 22 11:26:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lj96g/back_on_track_this_week_after_weeks_of_binging/
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https://i.redd.it/t2fpodm5oi501.jpg
[Discussion] |Discussion/advice| Maintaining underweight BMI?
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |104 | -116 | 20A]
Created: Fri Dec 22 11:08:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lj4wz/discussionadvice_maintaining_underweight_bmi/
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Hello hello all, pseudo-recovery is a bitch but I'm pluggin' along.
Quick little q that's been bugging me though. Apparently I'm maintaining 97lbs at 5'2 eating a 1-1100 weekly average, despite most BMR and TDEE calculators saying I should maintain at 12-1350. I'm not active at all but I'm not comatose, lol.
Does this mean if I continue to increase slowly that I will gain weight? I know I should probably be in the triple digits b/c I've developed some bone pain and my hair is falling out all the time. A 3lb jump wouldn't *kill* me like continuing to lose will eventually, but the idea is still quite vexing and scary.
Any fellow shorties have this issue?
[Rant/Rave] There is something so satisfying about dropping weight during the holidays
/u/nicfrae [5'7 | CW 125 | BMI 19.6 | GW 115 | UGW 98 | - 80 | F24]
Created: Fri Dec 22 11:02:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lj3dm/there_is_something_so_satisfying_about_dropping/
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While everyone around me gains. I'm a terrible person.
I've had countless gifts of chocolate boxes and sweets that I just pass on to someone else. I know it's ungrateful but they don't have to know, and fuck eating that stuff. I JUST got back into a good restricting groove after months of binging, dropping all that bloat and feeling good and I'm NOT letting the holidays win this time.
Anyone else get really excited when the switch happens in their brain and they slip seamlessly right back into restriction?
[Rant/Rave] Did I gain muscle? I didn’t ask for this lmao
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW:142 |CW:123 |20.6 |GW:110 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 22 10:42:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7liyd3/did_i_gain_muscle_i_didnt_ask_for_this_lmao/
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So I’ve been doing a ridiculous amount of walking and pilates lately and I keep weighing in at 124, sometimes 123.5ish.
A month ago I was starting to see 122. I feel like I look way more thin and lean thanks to the pilates but I’m really not happy with the number on the scale even if it’s not that huge of a jump. I think I might have to stop, or work out less. I’ve been going crazy with laxatives and chewing and spitting because this number is fucking with me so hard but I just want to be 120 or 118 :-( ughhh
[Help] DAE have a triggering extended family?
/u/Suusss [|5'6|121.4| / 140 / 130 / 125 / 122 / 120 \\ 118 \\ 116 \\ 114]
Created: Fri Dec 22 10:38:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lixej/dae_have_a_triggering_extended_family/
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My nana is so fucking anorexic - she will not touch her food, and pretend it's too 'cheap' for her to eat, even though my mom is a 7/10 cook - and an alcoholic; she drinks like the antiquity of sailors in our family, which eventually leads her to get very /very/ drunk and rude. Especially with any female-presenting person in the room, including me - and im ftm trans... If her husband (step-gfather) talks to anyone more youthful then her (everyone), and skinnier than she (Me, and a handful of cousins), she rips them to shit because she's a batty old senile lady who is jealous that we all dont love her unconditionaly anymore. Last year she told me to stop eating those tiny candy canes (max 50cal. like at MAX I dont want to think about it lol), even though I hadn't eaten anyyyyyyyyything that whole day :') she told me it would go straight to my thighs, pointed at them, raised her eyebrows at me, and laughed - and it's virtually impossible to avoid because she's my elder, my mom's mom, 'just once a year' and the head of the family. It's horrendous.
anyone else relate ? What have you done to address toxic, terrible nanas or uncles or cousins or parents in front of a huge family audience? At best, I want to avoid her scrutiny, but it would be cool to see if anyone else was able to address their extended family about remarks or how to get through Chrimbo...
[Intro] Hi again, back again, fat back again (no lecture, just my reality).
/u/dontsmokeinthebed
Created: Fri Dec 22 10:37:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lix80/hi_again_back_again_fat_back_again_no_lecture/
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Hi lovely people, can I start off by saying merry Christmas and new year to you all. Some of you might not celebrate, many of us are likely to despise this season with all the trimmings, family reunions and dressing up it brings. I know that many of you are going through it, but remember that you are still here and from one mind to another, I am proud of that and so are those who truly care about you!
Before you read - sorry for this repetitive, long, rambly jumble of words.
So, I was here under a different username for months in the last year, but here I am again a new person. My weight and mental health story has been a sad hypocrisy, but this doesn't mean that I won't progress, or learn lessons.
So, rewind to August of this year, I was finally at my goal weight! Having restricted for 3 months from the doctors weighing me in at 133 pounds, I had done the previously impossible and got myself to a low healthy BMI (19) I could be proud of. I could have stopped and appreciated this, but alas, this isn't how the story goes.
Just as a side note, no matter where I am now I will still be proud of the fact I got there, alone!
So, I got to 100 pounds and I was looking good. I was confident in my skin for the first time in a while and even wore short sleeved tops, dresses and a long skin hugging skirt (major anxiety of mine). I met a new love interest and starting dating again. I went into a bar and ordered alcohol without worrying my chubby cheeks would get id'd (which I still did but I didn't care!). I was me again. I reached out to old family and friends and apologised for past acts of selfishness. I reunited with an old friend and we talked as if we were 17 again, crushing on boys and worrying about the small (but fun) stuff. My social anxiety was lower but my paranoia was creeping up every day, a little more worry about who was behind me, a little more worry about if I was being tracked, a second longer staring at that 'sign' on the street that must have been left for me.
The catalyst that got me to where I am now? (Obviously anything could have been 'the' catalyst but in my head I see it as the fear of antipsychotics.) My psychiatrist prescribed me antipsychotics (!?). I am 21 and have been battling severe anxiety for half of my life, mixed in with paranoia and psychotic symptoms for years. I stopped studying this year from the agoraphobia which came with my anxiety (more shame and anxiety ensued). I have been working with a mental health team to improve my outlook and my future. I'm a ball of fun I know but... Antipsychotics? She must be having a laugh right? No way do I need antipsychotics. Sure hand me SSRI's, benzos, atypical antidepressants but this? I'm not mad... (This was my reasoning along with the weight gain anxiety).
You guys probably know as much as I that these drugs will pile on the pounds fast and, I was happy with my size thank you very much! No thanks doctor. I told them I would take them and flushed them straight down the toilet. I missed 2 medical reviews out of fear they would discover I'm not taking them. I didn't communicate with the team for a month and by the time I did again, it was too late. I had gotten into a worse situation.
So, what did my completely paranoid and 'smart' brain do in this month? After 21 years of saying no to drugs (the hardest drug I had touched being diazepam prescribed for anxiety) I bought myself some top quality (according to reviews, sources and Canadian imported drug tests) amphetamine. Yes, I bought speed essentially. Let's just remember I'm an anxious and suspicious person by nature. I will go straight to the worst scenario. Didn't even touch acid (regent tested) by my friend as I was worried about the bad trip. But a bit of speed? What's that gonna do?
4 months later and I've been officially diagnosed with psychosis for 3 months. I told my psychiatrist, after a month of battling with myself, about the speed I took. I took it for that month and dropped another 10 pounds. She, with the help of the team, suggested that this may have sparked my psychosis and as i was already in a high risk category to develop a psychotic disorder (which they were still assessing me for before i took the drug), my use exasperated paranoid and psychotic symptoms I was displaying before and set off an acute psychotic episode. I am still in this episode, it has gone over what they would class as a 'drug induced psychotic episode or brief psychotic disorder'. I can't really believe it has got this far but unfortunately it has. I only have myself to blame.
Just like all mental illnesses including eating disorders, psychosis is different for each individual. I personally thought I was unstoppable. I was gonna help everyone else going through the illness I had been plagued with. I thought (and still do to an extent) that this was meant to be.
(I won't go too much into details of my illness as I don't want to bore you all but if you have any questions feel free to message me.)
Skip a few months from my original diagnosis and cold turkey withdrawal of amphetamines and here I am, struggling with the idea of ordering more speed from the dark web. I've put on 25 pounds in the last few months from amphetamine withdrawal and taking the antipsychotics that the idea of, led me down this garden path in the first place. I cannot be too angry at myself currently as I have already punished myself incessantly for my mistakes.
Today is a new start just like any other. I have eaten 1300 calories today, yesterday I ate 700. This is a good day and a bad day. My eating disorder mind is creeping in again and the last thing I need to do is stop taking my medication, yet, I haven't taken my dose today out of fear it will make me hungry. I am going to fight this and take my meds as they will make me better mentally even if it means I find myself hungry. I will exercise later and know that I'm helping my body and my mind. I haven't gone out yet today from my paranoia but you know what, I'm willing to take the risk now that I look back at my post. Ive taken greater risks that didn't pay off. I'm making small steps to get where I percieve is a road of progress.
2017 has been one hell of a year. I wish you all the best for what's left of it and what's to come in 2018! One thing I appreciate about my mental break is that, for the first time in many years, I found myself being honest to those around me and honest to myself. None of us are perfect and even if we strive for what we percieve to be on the outside, our minds are so, so important. Your mind is so important. I know that my mind is fragile now and that taking drugs, missing appointments, avoiding social situations and not eating anything are only gonna prevent my mental illness from getting better.
Even saying this, doesn't mean that I'm gonna always listen to reason or think my own advice is the best. That's the double edged sword that comes with illness. We rarely take our own advice!
So. Why am I saying all this? I suppose it's an outlet. I suppose I'm reaching out to those in similar places that I have, am and will be. I suppose I hope that any of you who are/were in my situation read this and don't take silly risks like me but, at the end of the day we are all our own people and what affects one of us won't affect the next.
Thanks for reading.
[Help] Help being "healthy"
/u/skinnifat [5'4" | CW: 106 | GW: idk | F]
Created: Fri Dec 22 10:19:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lisrj/help_being_healthy/
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My period has been gone for months now and it's driving me crazy. Deep down, I don't want this. I don't want to be unhealthy. I really don't want to gain weight but I also really want my period back. So I need to gain a few pounds, right? Like maaaaaybe 5 pounds TOPS.
My question is does anyone know if I can gain those 5 pounds in muscle by lifting weights or do I have to gain fat in order to get my period back?? I'd rather have the muscle but I'm scared working out too much will push me even further down the unhealthy rabbit hole.
[Rant/Rave] Over the moon, just lost 15lbs and my small clothes fit great!
/u/Brizyse [5'5"|CW:Too Many|UGW:115|17F]
Created: Fri Dec 22 10:09:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7liqkh/over_the_moon_just_lost_15lbs_and_my_small/
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I'm so happy!!! I've dropped 15lbs and now all the clothes I bought for "when I lose weight" fit me now! I bought this beautiful black lace dress about a year ago and until today it was too tight for me. I feel so accomplished. I was upset a couple days ago that no one was noticing my weight loss but just yesterday my best friend was trying to get me to eat snacks with her, and like REALLY trying to make me eat so I guess someone did notice. I'm so so glad :D
[Other] Has anyone else given themselves permission to eat through the holidays?
/u/then_she_said [5'7 | -58 | 27F | UGW: 130]
Created: Fri Dec 22 10:07:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7liq44/has_anyone_else_given_themselves_permission_to/
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I'm just surrounded by amazing food- between office parties, gifts, family parties, whatever. And my goal is to just let myself eat whatever I want, without going crazy or caring that I will definitely gain weight.
I high-restrict most of the time and b/p, so I'm trying to let go of the control of restricting and reel in on the control of not binging to the point that if I don't purge I have a panic attack. I'm also not letting myself feel super guilty for not working out.
I'm going to Mexico in January and will have to wear a bathing suit, but I'm trying to keep that anxiety at bay by saying that I'll jump back in 110% as soon as the holidays are over.
How are you guys surviving the holidays?
[Help] Burdening my bf - HELP!
/u/renewtheplaintiff [5'3 | 102.8 | BMI 19.3 | F23]
Created: Fri Dec 22 09:52:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7limi2/burdening_my_bf_help/
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Hey guys! First time poster here (long time lurker), so please excuse me if I'm not doing this right.
I feel like I'm burdening my boyfriend with my ED. We've been together for almost 4 years, living together ever since, and I am the most comfortable (the most myself) around him. We've reached a point in our relationship where we don't hold anything back, and I am eternally grateful for that. I love him so much.
Now, the worse my ED gets, the more frustrated he gets (understandable). There is not a day that goes by that I don't mention calories, how fat I'm getting, visibly weighing myself 1000x, restrict my dinner, binge at night in front of him, then cry about it till I pass out. He keeps telling me to go see someone, and has done all the tactics that someone who has no idea how an eating disorder works does. Ex, "maybe you could try working out so you feel better about eating" or "stop thinking about food, let's watch/do something together to get your mind off of it" or "you're not fat, babe" or "you're so beautiful, I wish you could see it" or lately "the more you engage in negative self talk, you're putting that energy out there, and eventually you make yourself actually believe it" <- basically law of attraction. Also, "you have to dig deep into yourself and figure out what is causing these issues... you always talk about it on surface level, never asking why you're feeling this way."
Anyway, sorry for the rambling, but I don't know what to do. We don't argue often, but when we do, it's ALWAYS about my ED. And I just end up feeling like shit for even mentioning it in the first place. I vowed to myself many times to just shut up, that I don't have to say aloud everything that pops into my brain. I need to stop talking about calories every second we're together. If I just kept these ED thoughts to myself, we'd be fine. Why is this so hard for me? And what can I do to stop feeling like I'm destroying our relationship?
TL;DR: how to stop mentioning ED around bf 24/7? feeling bad for burdening him with my disorder.
[Help] Safe food to take on a 12 hour car ride
/u/ItsMikka [168 | 52 | 18.4]
Created: Fri Dec 22 09:49:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lilmp/safe_food_to_take_on_a_12_hour_car_ride/
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Hi all. I’m in a bit of a bind. I’m going back home tomorrow and will be stuck in a car the entire day. I really want to avoid stopping at a fast food joint because I know it’ll set off a binge for me. Any tips on low cal food I can take on the road?
[Rant/Rave] EC stack love but anxiety
/u/platypuslost
Created: Fri Dec 22 09:40:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lijo9/ec_stack_love_but_anxiety/
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After debating for a long time I finally tried it this week and it is amazing. I can go all day without even thinking about food and have a small dinner at home at night and be actually happy with my intake for once. Plus I'm incredibly productive at work and just feel all around more bubbly and fun to be around. I'm in love. I feel like I can actually get through the holidays without wrecking my progress.
But on the other hand, I kind of feel like this might be the most disordered thing I've done because I know it's bad for my heart and I'm doing it anyway. Does anyone know or have any information/resources about heart safety while EC stacking? Do I need to take breaks every few days or something like that? How dangerous is this actually?
Thanks in advance, friends.
[Rant/Rave] Binged for a week. Didn't gain. Still not happy?
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 57.5 kg | -26 kg | 22F]
Created: Fri Dec 22 08:54:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7li93u/binged_for_a_week_didnt_gain_still_not_happy/
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I should be glad right? I think I should be glad that I didnt gain despite eating like shit for 1 week. I mean, mom made christmas cookies and I ate a ton of them - that kind if shitty diet. But I feel nothing.
I actually measured myself again after I didn't for at least 3-4 weeks and I even shrinked. My waist is 72cm (28 inches) and my hips are 85cm (33 inches), that's considered 'normal' right? But it's not enough. I feel like a whale looking in the mirror. Looking at the numbers even my thighs AND calfs got smaller! But I see nothing. It's just so depressing!
A few weeks ago I tried on a dress and I felt really beautiful and tiny and slim but then I saw a picture of me wearing it and all of those feelings were gone. All I could think is how that chubby girl in the dress could think she looked good in it despite being that big.
I want to be nice to myself but I can't because everytime I try I find myself more disgusting, more repulsive to look at. Before my weight loss I thought my face looked ok..not very pretty but average and surely not ugly. Now? I can't look in the mirror without wanting to cry.
I'm sorry this rant turned out so long and is all over the place. I needed to vent and I wanted to tell kind people who understand.
[Discussion] What are your guys’ experiences with Molly
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Fri Dec 22 08:43:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7li6i2/what_are_your_guys_experiences_with_molly/
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[removed]
[Other] Peachh🍑🍑
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 22 07:05:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lhm3s/peachh/
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[deleted]
[Help] All of my weight is in my stomach
/u/elizasbreath [162cm| CW 47.5kg | GW: 45kg | -14kg I 18F]
Created: Fri Dec 22 06:38:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lhh3x/all_of_my_weight_is_in_my_stomach/
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Legitimately - it's all in my breasts and stomach. My waist is small and I've got no back fat, a pretty steadily sized thigh gap, quite small arms, prominent collarbones and I'd even feel skinny but Jesus my STOMACH
ITS ALL ACCUMULATED IN A SINGULAR AREA
I AM NOT A PREGNANT LADY
Losing ten to fifteen pounds isn't an option rn as I'm under severe supervision by family and school for my weight but does anyone have literally any suggestions at all
Pls
Am desperate
How much weight I can lose by eating 400 calories per day in 4 weeks straight?
/u/colethania
Created: Fri Dec 22 06:22:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lheam/how_much_weight_i_can_lose_by_eating_400_calories/
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[removed]
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! December 22, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Dec 22 05:13:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lh2mq/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for December 22, 2017.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! December 22, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Dec 22 05:12:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lh2lu/daily_food_diary_december_22_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 22, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] Scale battery died, bought new, weighed in the first time in two weeks for no good reason
/u/Fibreoptic_Calico
Created: Fri Dec 22 03:54:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lgr3r/scale_battery_died_bought_new_weighed_in_the/
---
Just a rant about the same old thing. My scale battery died so I couldn't weigh until I got more. Then I made myself wait until my usual day so I don't get into weighing every day.
Two weeks... moderate restriction between 550-750 cals a day and I've lost 2lbs. That's it. I swore my clothes felt looser, my I must have been imagining it. I also have been finding this restriction cycle really easy. I've not been fighting against myself to restrict, I'm fairly active. I don't feel empty like I usually do... I must be going wrong somewhere. 21 years of this and this never happens.
This doesn't usually happen like this when I restrict. I do need to poop, I've taken lax but it's not going to account for much more weight really, 0.5lb maybe.
I guess I'm just destined to be a fat piece of shit forever. What's even the point in anything.
How I can I be losing 1lb a week at such a deficit. There won't be a woosh, I'm not plateaued, just all this sneaking about and lying to be able to restrict and nothing for my efforts.
Ugh idea.
Ho Fucking ho.
[Discussion] Your experiences with psychiatrists? Mine doesn't seem to care that much about the ED, is it because I'm not underweight?
/u/riotpeach
Created: Fri Dec 22 03:42:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lgpi1/your_experiences_with_psychiatrists_mine_doesnt/
---
My psychiatrist knows that about me having an ED since a teen. When she asked about my appetite I said I don't eat based off of appetite and that I'm restricting again and am going to eat low calorie because I want to lose > 20 kg by April.
She didn't seem too concerned, just asked if I wanted a referral to to see the dietitian and offered to have my thyroid and other blood work done. Then at the end of the session, she said good luck with your weight loss and she'll see me again in a month. I was expecting to get lectured and told "not to do that" when I mentioned restricting and not eating much.
Is it because I'm not underweight atm? Or is this a typical response? What has your experience been like?
[Rant/Rave] Fasting to keep my boyfriend
/u/seiiten
Created: Fri Dec 22 03:37:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lgori/fasting_to_keep_my_boyfriend/
---
Hey y’all, long time lurker here and I dunno, i just felt the need to rant because I really can’t take it anymore
So i’ve been dating this guy for awhile (we started out “fake dating” to mess with our friends, but that’s another story) and for some context, he’s bi but leans more towards guys (I’m the exception. Joy.)
I probably have an unhealthy obsession with him, because after pining after him for so long we finally got together, but every time i’m with him i feel like he could do so much better than me.
When we’re together, our friends will make jokes about how he went “straight” for me and how strange it is that he even picked me. They’ll even go as far as to pick out random strangers that would be a better match for him (and sometimes, I agree).
(i’m 5’1, 120lbs, and Asian-american, and his usual type is tall, blond, and lean, which is my polar opposite)
I guess it’s kind of dumb, but I really love him and for some reason, I feel like when i’m skinny, he’ll love me back. I’ve had an ED long before i met him, but honestly he’s one of my strongest motivations to lose some damn weight!
I’m on winter break right now, and I probably won’t see him for another 3 weeks, so I have that much time to lose as much as I can so when we meet again, maybe i’ll have lost a few pounds.
[Rant/Rave] I forgot how expensive this was
/u/filthy_pink_angora
Created: Fri Dec 22 03:29:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lgnqf/i_forgot_how_expensive_this_was/
---
Be been debating whether or not to go out and get food. Like literally going through what I would get if I went to this place or that. And if im going to eat something bad im going to purge. And if im going to purge I might as well make it worth it.
Guess im about to go pretend im picking up food for a small group of people...
[Rant/Rave] Christmas is...(What is Christmas for You?)
/u/sparklingvoid
Created: Fri Dec 22 03:06:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lgkds/christmas_iswhat_is_christmas_for_you/
---
...Awkwardly sitting around with my narcfamily, validating my abusers morality all day, and binging and purging 20+ times while they pretend not to notice and encourage me to keep eating the food they so lovingly provided to me, a bulimic of 10 years who has repeatedly pleaded with them to understand and not give me binge food.
The most wonderful time of the year!
Been restricting the past month for my LDR, sort-of SO's visit this weekend... I want to share my crappily yet thoughtfully-crafted gift for him.
/u/deathpetals
Created: Fri Dec 22 02:28:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lgeyd/been_restricting_the_past_month_for_my_ldr_sortof/
---
https://imgur.com/LM35fVu
[Rant/Rave] I only ate about 150 cal today... [Rant/Rave]
/u/_lysium
Created: Fri Dec 22 01:38:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lg7qq/i_only_ate_about_150_cal_today_rantrave/
---
I also drank about 850 cal in wine &vodka, but that’s the least I’ve consumed on a “non fast” day in months. I used to be so fucking fit/skinny. To the point where my bf thought my Timehop picture from two years ago was “”sickly skinny”
I still know I’m fat as fuck... I’m borderline freaking The fuck out. Someone please smack the skinny into me?
https://imgur.com/gallery/Pugrv
That’s what someone said to me
[Goal] I can't wait...
/u/dahee3697 [154cm | CW: 58.9 | GW: 52 | F | 19]
Created: Fri Dec 22 01:30:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lg6si/i_cant_wait/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] sex drive during high restriction
/u/gross9876 [5' 3" | 122 | 🐳 | -24 Lost | Gender]
Created: Fri Dec 22 01:01:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lg2lp/sex_drive_during_high_restriction/
---
This post is possibly NSFW.
When I'm eating very little, I typically ~indulge~ by masturbating. Like, I'm hungry and can't eat any more? Masturbate.
1) DAE do this?
2) I've noticed I masturbate a ton. Like, maybe 8-13 times per day. I had no idea that wasn't normal...but I guess it compensates for my lack of food *shrug*
going on vacation in a month and a half
/u/bbictoria
Created: Thu Dec 21 21:15:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lf0ma/going_on_vacation_in_a_month_and_a_half/
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[removed]
[Intro] Introduction and Salutations♡
/u/FatGirlAnxieties
Created: Thu Dec 21 21:14:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lf0jn/introduction_and_salutations/
---
Hello, lovelies. Loooong time lurker, first time poster. I'm not entirely sure what to say here, other than thank you for having me. This truly is one of the kindest places on the internet.
Where do I start? I am 35 years old and married. No children. I struggled with heavy restriction and tried my hand at bulimia (ha. Ha.) when I was a teenager, but was far more successful at restricting. That went on for a few years until one day, with seemingly no notice, I started binging. And I just didn't stop. I went from my lowest weight of 145 (I know, still a fatty, but I've always been on the thicker side & I had to WORK for that 145) allll the way up to a staggering 272. Eventually, after some rather intense health issues & a total of 7 surgeries, I started to want to be healthier again.
I started making small, sustainable changes. No more sugar & cream in my coffee. Downloaded MFP & use it religiously. Light exercise. And all of that took me from 272 to 200 even.
The reason I find myself falling back into old habits is my roommate. Well, honestly, she certainly doesn't help, but my mind & self image were fucked before her so I'm not laying the blame on her entirely. She's....she is literally almost 600 lbs. And recently I have realized that she is actively trying to sabotage me. I still want to believe that she's a good person. I've known her for a long time. But lately I just can't chalk up her behavior (surprising me with sugary, creamy coffees after I already declined; stopping by room with grilled cheeses---plural!!).
I know its fucked up. But I am not sure where else to turn. I feel like I can trust you. Living with her....God forgive me, but watching her eat, smelling any room after she has vacated it, over hearing her schemes to get more food brought over....all of it has....well, triggered me. And I find myself doing everything in my power to keep my intake at 1000 cals/daily at the highest. I don't feel happy unless MFP is scolding me about not eating enough. I am exercising in secret. I recognise all of this for what it is....And maybe it is time to just accept it. At least for now.
Anyway. Thank you for reading my long rambles. Can I please be a part of your club? I promise to share my Coke Zero ♡
P.S.-> please forgive any errors as I am on mobile.
[Tip] Guys I just made the perfect low calorie ham mac & cheese! Only 150 calories total.
/u/hollowedheart_
Created: Thu Dec 21 21:09:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lezmy/guys_i_just_made_the_perfect_low_calorie_ham_mac/
---
Here's my recipe!
• 1 package tofu Shirataki noodles- macaroni shaped ( 20 calories per package)
• 1 ounce Velveeta cheese ( 70 calories per ounce.)
• 1 serving of uncured Canadian Bacon (45 calories for one serving.) *optional but recommended for added flavor and protein.*
• 2 Tbs of milk- (15 calories for 2%)
-------------------------------
How to prepare:
1.) Make the Shirataki noodles according to package.
2.) In a pan, cook the ham on both sides until slightly browned. Take ham out and set aside. Cut into small pieces for later to mix into macaroni.
3.) Add an ounce of Velveeta cheese to the pan that the ham was in. Stir around and add milk to melt.
4.) After the cheese has melted, add the noodles to the pan and stir, incorporating the cheese with the noodles. Then add the chopped ham bits to the mac and cheese.
5.) Enjoy!!
[Discussion] What’s your workout routine?
/u/lostinagrocerystore [5'2" | 105 | 19.9 | -50 | GW: 95]
Created: Thu Dec 21 21:08:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lezck/whats_your_workout_routine/
---
need some inspo to get this 20lb gain from binging off lmao
[Goal] getting hospitalized
/u/hi9898
Created: Thu Dec 21 20:55:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lews5/getting_hospitalized/
---
[removed]
[Other] Saw this and immediately thought of this sub...
/u/cryfawn [5'6 | CW:47,8kg | GW:44kg | F]
Created: Thu Dec 21 20:16:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lep5w/saw_this_and_immediately_thought_of_this_sub/
---
https://imgur.com/hj3tvhb
[Help] First therapy session, question for you guys
/u/whatsupbuttercup5 [5'3" | CW 96.2 | BMI 17.0 | GW 90 | HW 126 | 25F]
Created: Thu Dec 21 20:11:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7leo5o/first_therapy_session_question_for_you_guys/
---
So I saw a therapist for the first time the other day. I don't know what to think, I'm still processing the experience. But I did bring up my eating habits and she asked me if I was anorexic. I was surprised and told her honestly that I've never been diagnosed with an ED. We talked more in detail about my habits and she agreed my habits are not normal. But she never said I had an ED.
I know this is weird, but like... why did she ask ME if I was anorexic? Isn't it her job to tell ME? Or is a therapist not the person who does that? Who diagnosed you guys with an ED? An MD, psychologist, therapist, who? Sorry if these are dumb questions. This sounds crazy but like I don't feel valid without an official diagnosis.
[Rant/Rave] Struggling with binges so bad lately...
/u/PizzaInMyUrethra [5'5" | CW: INSANE | GW1: 150 | 24F]
Created: Thu Dec 21 19:45:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7leiy7/struggling_with_binges_so_bad_lately/
---
FUCK. CHRISTMAS. FOOD.
Usually our cupboards are pretty bare, if I want to binge I have to COOK (shudder) or battle my agoraphobia and LEAVE THE HOUSE (shock horror).
But it’s the season of disgusting food. The cupboards are bursting at the seams. I’ve been eating and eating and eating. It’s 2am and I just got up and smashed out 1500 in 15 minutes. I want to purge so badly but the self-harmer in me is saying “GOOD. Sit with it, you pig”
I’m fucking terrified I’ve put on 10lbs overnight. I can’t stop. I’m a weak weak person who relies on their house being a safe zone. Now it’s a huge danger zone.
Any other binge eaters struggling? I just want to hear from someone else in a similar situation so I don’t feel so insane.
Mobile flair: rant
[Rant/Rave] It's lonely being little
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 80 lbs | 15.13 | -27 | f]
Created: Thu Dec 21 19:26:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lef1j/its_lonely_being_little/
---
Perhaps one of the most frustrating aspects of being so irrevocably and versatily mentally fucked up, is the conflict of interests that arise: things like restricting calories versus finding solace in the bottom of a bottle and chasing oblivion in clouds of marijuana, then the self-hatred following a munchie-induced binge/purge session.
Currently, it is my need to use sex as a coping mechanism as well as to fill the vast chasm formed by having absolutely no meaningful relationships, versus my need to waste away. I'm just not attractive anymore, not that i was ever a knock-out. There is a very small niche of people who want to make it with a girl who more closely resembles a little boy. On top of it, i have to deal with all the comments about how "Men like curves, only dogs go for bones," "Boys like a little meat," "Maybe you'd have a boyfriend if you weren't so skinny."
Thanks to my mom for that last one.
I've been swallowed by self-inflicted nothingness.
TL;TD: too skinny2slut
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend just completely ignored me at a party to dance with girls much thinner than me :)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 21 18:29:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7le3c0/my_boyfriend_just_completely_ignored_me_at_a/
---
[deleted]
[Help] Bleeding after exercise
/u/themomofthegroup
Created: Thu Dec 21 18:07:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ldyv1/bleeding_after_exercise/
---
Even since I was a teenager, after exercise I bleed. Anywhere from spotting to full period like flow for about 1-2 hours after. I am a long distance runner and this would occur often if I pushed myself a little too much during a race. However, recently (maybe because of my eating habits 😞?) I have been bleeding after any amount of physical exercise (I exercise daily). I am a pre-med student and even I am really not sure what I can attribute this to. Has anyone else experienced this here? I'm thinking this may be a hormonal problem.
[Discussion] getting "used to" your ED
/u/LOdowwnlorettabrown
Created: Thu Dec 21 17:55:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ldwhr/getting_used_to_your_ed/
---
today i was on a run, and started to think about how much stress i would put on my ED. i would consistently think about it, almost obsessively. now, i dont think my eating patterns have really changed any, but i feel like i am more accustomed to this as becoming something that feels "normal". i've become complacent in my ED, whereas before i would fight that hunger every day, post on here every day, and push it. does anyone know what i mean? i've binged since forever, but have found a lot of inner peace in restriction. if that sounds fucked up, i personally dont think it really is in actuality. lol. obviously in comparison to a "normal" eating person i definitely think about food much much more. but i guess when i first started this it was something that was foreign to me. now that things are plateauing and feel "normal" i feel much less stress about counting and being compulsive, which sometimes makes me question the legitimacy of what i have going on e.g. "is this is a disorder" or "is this a learned behavior" or "is this both a disorder and a learned behavior"? i guess we can liken this to any disease or addiction. i could say the same about when i used to overeat. at this point, i can't find a norm, and frankly at this point, i don't care. but what is disconcerting to me is that we can become accustomed to habits and things that aren't the best for us. such is life i guess...
can you all talk about your experiences with growing accustomed to your ED?
[Rant/Rave] I have to get blood drawn tomorrow (routine annual) and I’m terrified. I’m already dizzy most of the time and I ALWAYS pass out when getting blood drawn
/u/quoth_the_phoenix
Created: Thu Dec 21 17:47:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ldut9/i_have_to_get_blood_drawn_tomorrow_routine_annual/
---
Sigh. Can you relate? Have you been through this? God I hate needles and blood. That’s why I restrict instead of cutting myself 🙃
[Rant/Rave] Cute Waitress
/u/ilovegibbyhaynes
Created: Thu Dec 21 17:27:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ldqpk/cute_waitress/
---
I went out to dinner with my boyfriend, just a few hours ago. Our waitress was so pretty; tall, blonde, and thin, but she still had a very feminine body. She was a little dopey, though. When she walked away, I noticed my boyfriend watching. He looked at me and said, “she’s the kind of girl that would be amazing to have sex with, but she’s really dumb.”
He added, “I work with a girl just like that”, which obviously isn’t comforting for me to know.
I’m a short, average weight ginger. The complete opposite of our waitress and his coworker.
I let myself go a little with food today and eat like a “normal” person (I usually eat strictly keto and restrict), but I won’t be eating “normally” any time soon.
I’m crushed. I wish I was as beautiful as them.
I’m sorry if my formatting is shit, I am just very hurt and frustrated and I needed to tell some people who might understand.
[Discussion] DAE try to open up to someone in hopes of support and it totally backfire?
/u/shadowmachines
Created: Thu Dec 21 16:41:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ldgv4/dae_try_to_open_up_to_someone_in_hopes_of_support/
---
I'm in a recovery phase right now, and attempting to lose weight at a healthy rate/eat like a normal human etc. It's been going pretty great honestly, and I'm super proud of both my moderate weight loss, and my more normal-ish relationship to food. Which is why I wanted to share/celebrate my small victories with someone.
I cautiously told a friend about it a few weeks ago. She knows I have issues with food, and she's got her own disordered/ortho stuff going on too, and I guess I should have known better. Anyway we went running together, and then hung out all day and she FUCKING REFUSED TO EAT ANYTHING THE WHOLE GODDAMN DAY. I know she's got her own shit, but it felt so petty and competitive, like maybe she's pissed that I'm skinnier than her now, or maybe my losing weight is triggering her, I don't know, but I felt so personally attacked.
I'm working so hard to be healthy and normal now, but I didn't feel safe at all eating anything around her, so I felt hungry and relapsy all day :( It also doesn't help that I'm vegan and she's practically paleo, and she was making subtle digs about how horrible grain is for you and how animal protein is so much healthier etc. Wtf??? I thought she would be a safe person to talk to because she would get it, but it seems to have totally backfired.
Anyway, do you guys ever have weird friend issues like this? I just never know who is safe to talk to. Does anyone have any advice as to how they feel out whether people are going to be supportive or petty when you open up to them?
[Discussion] Have any of you read Brain over Binge?
/u/plantheadkade
Created: Thu Dec 21 16:41:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ldgrj/have_any_of_you_read_brain_over_binge/
---
What were your reactions? Do you really think you can quit binge eating as easily as she says? All my life I've been told it's a disorder, so it just seems a little too good to be true. If you'd like the pdf I found for it, DM me.
[Help] Help! Does my body defy the laws of physics or is my metabolism this damaged?
/u/KooolThang [CW: 114-119? | UGW: 100]
Created: Thu Dec 21 16:16:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ldb99/help_does_my_body_defy_the_laws_of_physics_or_is/
---
For the past 5 weeks I've been restricting to a daily average of 500-600 calories. I track my calories and
weight every day very carefully on a TDEE calculator in Excel and err on the side of caution and overestimate
when unsure. I'm 5'2 and my TDEE should be around 1500.
Somehow I've hit a brick wall of a plateau and any time I eat more than 500 calories I stop losing or
gain, even if my weekly average is still 500-600. Generally I fast or eat under 500 all week to save calories and eat 1000 on the weekend, so I'd expect a slight gain on Mondays due to water weight, but this isn't water weight that goes away after a day or two of fasting/restricting, my weight stays elevated and then goes up again when I eat more. The past 2 days I ate around maintenance to see what would happen and gained yet another 4lb, putting my weight higher than it's been since November despite how little I've eaten all month. I also missed my period this month which I assumed is due to restricting, but my BMI is around 21 and I have a very high body fat percentage due to my small frame - my gut is bigger than girls who weigh 50lb more than me at the same height, and that is not body dysmorphia talking, I can attach a pic to prove it.
Can someone please tell me what the fuck is going on with my body? I'm not making anywhere near the progress my TDEE calculator and losertown say I should be. I know that starvation mode is a myth but I'm starting to believe it the way my body is jealously hoarding everything I eat. How low do I have to drop my calories to lose weight? What can I do to figure this out and fix it?
Thanks so much in advance for any help, I'm trying to relax and enjoy Christmas but I'm so deeply depressed over this every day that I can't focus on anything else.
[Help] Christmas is coming.
/u/Flippingkittens [5'0 | CW 106 | GW 94 | BMI 20 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 21 15:40:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ld2qz/christmas_is_coming/
---
Christmas and all of its festivities start one the 24th for me (Europe).
That means being around my SO‘s parents pretty much 24/7, loads of booze and family drama (we are from widely different social groups, think rich vs. poor).
All of them are what I‘d call skinnyfat and not very conscious about what they eat. They also have a tendency to comment on my eating and like to feed me.
I weighed in at 48 kg today and my goal for Christmas was to be 47.x, so I really hope I‘ll make it.
I have 3 days of booze, food and stress in front of me and I‘m already freaking out.
Please share any tips, calming methods and stories of your own. I’m guessing Christmas is going to be hard on all of us.
[Help] to eat or not to eat?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 21 14:48:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lcqo7/to_eat_or_not_to_eat/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lcqo7/to_eat_or_not_to_eat/
[Discussion] Fever and anorexia
/u/clearwater237
Created: Thu Dec 21 14:43:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lcpiw/fever_and_anorexia/
---
Im new, so hi to everyone, probably I should introduce myself in an intro post after lurking for so long, but first a question:
Im having the flu currently and have a BMI of 15.5. I feel really week, hot and nauseous and in my normal-weight days I would have thought that I had a fever. But the thermometer just shows 37.8 degrees Celsius. And actually since I‘ve been at a low BMI (probably 1.5 years now), I never had a „real“ fever. Than I thought about it: Does it have to do something that by normal temperature might be also lower, so that fever would also start at a lower point?
Does that make any sense? Does someone else experience the same?
[Discussion] does anyone else see a completely different body when you’re fasting vs. when you’ve eaten?
/u/lowkeydeadinside [5'6" | cw: 125 | ugw: 98 | 17F | 🍑: starvingprincess]
Created: Thu Dec 21 14:41:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lcovn/does_anyone_else_see_a_completely_different_body/
---
when i’ve binged or even at the end of a day that’s at or below maintenance, i see rolls of fat. i see a disgusting blob. i see my belly bulging out of my pants. i see multiple chins and thighs bigger than my waist.
but when i’m fasting, i can see the beginnings of a thigh gap, i can see my collar bones, i actually have a waist. i obviously don’t see skinny, but i don’t see layers and layers of fat and i don’t see someone who is literally obese.
which one is real? does anyone else experience this?
[Help] trying to be vegan, keep bingeing on animal products...help?
/u/friendsnotfoods [5'4"F ~ lard butt ~ goal:111lbs]
Created: Thu Dec 21 14:19:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lcjm3/trying_to_be_vegan_keep_bingeing_on_animal/
---
Hi. I posted this on r/vegan too, but I think they deleted it since I just made this account.
I've been trying to be vegan for over a year. I also have emotional eating/binge eating problems. I thought maybe a slow transition would help, but it really doesn't.
Anytime I tell my brain, "okay, no more of this food group", I suddenly fucking HAVE TO HAVE IT AND ALL OF IT.
Anyone else struggle to be vegan without the binges?
[Discussion] Anyone into flow arts?
/u/acupofhotwater [5'2" | CW fat GW127 | UGW120 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 21 13:51:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lcccd/anyone_into_flow_arts/
---
This isn't really ed related. I was just curious if any of you guys are flow artists. If so what props do you use and how long have you been doing it? Has it helped you to lose weight? I'm a hooper for about 3 years now and I've definitely lost weight because of it. Learning new tricks is also a great way to distract myself from food.
[Goal] Finally deciding to recover....
/u/skydiver89 [skinny fat AF at 5'4" and 138 lbs]
Created: Thu Dec 21 13:29:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lc6zm/finally_deciding_to_recover/
---
But I'm still going to be subscribed to this subreddit and post and comment. I feel like you all understand me and my thoughts. You've all been so nice to me and you all brighten my day more than you know!
Today, I went to a dietician and we came up with a meal plan for me. 1,200 calories a day. Seems like so much. I was drinking soylent twice a day and sometimes once a day so I was only getting 400-800 calories a day. Any solid food I would spit out. I might still spit out some foods but I went grocery shopping and picked out foods I am comfortable eating, relating to the list of the meal plan my dietician gave me.
1,200 calories is giving me a little bit of anxiety and I almost broke down when I had all the food in my shopping cart and left the store. But I told myself I've been feeling miserable lately, like tired and weak and I've already gotten random injuries from god knows what. I'm going to try to be a happy and healthier person.
As I was leaving the ED clinic,a group of girls, with anorexia were coming inside. Each and every one of them looked me up and down and it's like with a smile on their face and the look in their eyes, they were saying,"we are better than you." I know it's not true. The looks just hurt and made me feel self conscious about my body. I guess my body is an anorexics worst nightmare.
So that's been my day. I'm tired now and ready for my evening nap. A little scared for dinner but just gonna go slow and not judge myself.
[Discussion] (rave) my clothes are loose!! feat. discussion?
/u/grape_fruits [5'3.5" | CW 102.6 lbs | 19F]
Created: Thu Dec 21 13:27:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lc6kg/rave_my_clothes_are_loose_feat_discussion/
---
a few months ago at my hw, I bought a shirt in size xs without trying it on because i stupidly assumed it would fit. it did, but it was too tight, and like every single person who thinks they'll lose weight ever, thought "i'll keep it anyway and will fit when i lose weight." welllll today i wore it and it was beautifully loose and drapey and i felt like one of those thinspo girls LOL anyway this is like the first time i saw real visible results other than my boobs shrinking so i was sooo happy (and then promptly popped an ec stack). tell me about similar stories of clothes getting loose af, reading them makes me happy!! (sorry on mobile can't flair!!)
[Rant/Rave] Anyone out there?? No responses to multiple posts.
/u/Sweetparamour2 [171cm | 57kg | 19bmi | 2kg | Female]
Created: Thu Dec 21 13:18:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lc4bv/anyone_out_there_no_responses_to_multiple_posts/
---
I've posted to this group a few times and never received a response. I always receive an automated message though, are my post even visable or is it normal to receive no replies?
(posts deleted after a few days to prevent my partner finding out)
[Rant/Rave] I love the proED community.
/u/Mortynight
Created: Thu Dec 21 13:11:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lc2il/i_love_the_proed_community/
---
I know this may sound awful to an outsider, but as someone who struggles with an illness that so few people understand, it feels like breathing being on forums with people who are so kind to each other, say to each other what they want/need to hear, and are rarely patronizing or condescending.
I know this community (like so many others) has it's downsides, but I really believe the upsides outweigh them marginally.
The people here, and on other forums, are so uplifting and sympathetic.
You wanna recover? Good for you!
You want to lose 10lbs this month? It's totally doable if you try!
You have a question? Here are 200 different answers!
This community is not the way outsiders portray us to be, even though some parts of it are, I don't think they understand how badly some of us need support. Actual support. From people who can't judge or humiliate you.
You can be honest about the worst parts of you, and you rarely get judged. So, yes. I love this community, and wish I had this kind of support in real life.
[Help] Being at home for the holidays is hard
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 21 12:39:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lbul2/being_at_home_for_the_holidays_is_hard/
---
Ever since Thanksgiving I've been caught in basically a cycle of maintenance combined with a few days of eating over my TDEE and my weight has sloooowly started to creep up. Now I'm at my parents house for Christmas and I think it's going to drive me insane. I've been mostly alone for the past week, but somehow that doesn't make it any better. I still snack snack snack snack and then am forced to have a huge dinner at night. Coupled with that, my dad is on some sort of super special diet, and so his constant talking about how much weight he's lost is super triggering, and one of my (very close) cousins is having digestive problems, so she weighs 95 pounds, down 5 pounds since Thanksgiving when I last saw her. *And* my parents house even has a gym with workout machines and a giant mirror so I can see how fat I am. But despite all of those things that should be triggering me into a giant restriction/exercise purging cycle, I still can't find the motivation to do anything about how fat I've gotten and I just want to cry instead. Things just seem hopeless. *And* I had a fight with my boyfriend last night because I just want him to come meet my family and he doesn't want to. I honestly think I'm going to go crazy if I stay here. Any advice? And sorry for a second post today... things have been a lot for me lately.
[Discussion] Diet Soda vs. Flavoured water
/u/reviic [♂| 5´1.5 | 114lb | BMI21 | HW: 130lb | Trans boy19]
Created: Thu Dec 21 12:38:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lbu68/diet_soda_vs_flavoured_water/
---
Hi! So, I'm trying to cut out or atleast lower my diet soda intake as I feel it hinders my weightloss that I see on the scale. Bloat etc. So I was wondering if diet flavoured water would do the same or if that doesnt leave bloat?
Idk what to tag this as and Im on phone. 😣
[Discussion] DAE not get hungry during the day but become a monster at night?
/u/Hextoria
Created: Thu Dec 21 12:20:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lbptj/dae_not_get_hungry_during_the_day_but_become_a/
---
[Discussion] Has anyone here NEVER been thin?
/u/vitalogy95
Created: Thu Dec 21 12:17:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lbp3p/has_anyone_here_never_been_thin/
---
I’ve yo-yo’ed weight since I was 12 (22 now) and have had a very distorted body image all the way, but for nearly all of my life, aside form being very very young, I’ve always been a bit overweight. I’ve never gotten to that super skinny point I’ve wanted to be at.
This time I’m doing better than ever and determined to get my goal body, but sometimes I wonder if it’ll be impossible for me now.
Anyone else in the boat? Or anyone that was in this boat and finally got their goal body?
[Discussion] Has anyone hear NEVER been thin?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 21 12:16:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lbowz/has_anyone_hear_never_been_thin/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] So did stretch marks sort of fade or look better when losing a lot of weight
/u/andeeeey
Created: Thu Dec 21 11:54:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lbj5p/so_did_stretch_marks_sort_of_fade_or_look_better/
---
I have these ugly big dark stretch marks on my thighs they look so revolting to me I hate them. Do they like shrink or kind of fade with a lot of weight loss.
[Discussion] DAE spend money on food then not eat it?
/u/angelweight [cbmi 17.2 / gbmi 16]
Created: Thu Dec 21 11:08:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lb7ux/dae_spend_money_on_food_then_not_eat_it/
---
I am so disgusted with myself. I've probably wasted at least $100 on food this month that I bought but didn't eat. Some I was able to donate, some other people in my household ate, some I just fed to the cats... UGH.
In the past it's gotten so bad I had to make a rule I wasn't allowed to spend money on food for myself, I would just scrounge what happened to be in the house.
I'll get some idea in my head, like I'll be vegan again! then run out and buy vegan food. Or I'll go on a bone broth fast! then I run out and buy bones. Then when I look at the food when I'm home I don't touch it. over and over.
HAE done this and if so how did you stop wasting money?
on mobile can't flair!
[Intro] New Here (sorta)
/u/FrecklesTheImp [Height 5'2 | CW 🐷 | BMI 🐄 | WL 70lbs | F]
Created: Thu Dec 21 10:44:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lb1lk/new_here_sorta/
---
Hello all. I have been here for quite awhile but under another username. It dawned on me that the username I was using was connected to every social media account I have... yup I am brilliant! I had to do some massive deleting when I realized that.
I am wife and mom of three. I have struggled with various incarnations of eating disorders and mental illneses for the majority of my life. My friends and family dont get it of course, so long story short here I am.
Anyway wanted to say hello and not be the lurker with the baby reddit account.
[Other] Artful_Heart's Starburst Mono-Diet, Day Two
/u/artful_heart [5'7.5 | CW 96.5 | GW1 95 | GW2 92 | UGW 88 | BMI 14.78 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 21 10:23:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lawgj/artful_hearts_starburst_monodiet_day_two/
---
[removed]
[Help] Advice on learning to love fashion again?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 21 10:15:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7laufo/advice_on_learning_to_love_fashion_again/
---
In my past life before the ED started I used to be a (very small time) fashion blogger, and I miss the joy I used to get from clothes and styling. But now every time I get dressed I just feel like a misshapen potato trying to look like a runway model. Does anyone have advice on dressing to feel better about yourself or learning to love getting dressed again after so long hating the way your body looks? I know this is a very specific question but I'm hoping someone else has been through it too.
[Rant/Rave] Guys I have a thigh gap!!!
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5'4" | 120 | 20.54| GW: 115 | NB]
Created: Thu Dec 21 10:08:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lassa/guys_i_have_a_thigh_gap/
---
I stood in front of the mirror today and I have a thigh gap! I have no idea where it came from but I'm so happy! :D
[Discussion] Do EDs manifest in people who have difficulty verbally expressing their feelings? Some thoughts, I would appreciate your opinions!
/u/dbt-girl [5'2" | 114]
Created: Thu Dec 21 09:15:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7lafks/do_eds_manifest_in_people_who_have_difficulty/
---
So the other day I went to therapy. I am a **vulnerability deflector** for sure, so I open with this yuuuuge grin and confess all my new and exciting behaviors I've taken on, such as embracing the magic of sucralose, drinking myself to sleep, intentionally dropping my glucose levels, etc. NOW, I have no idea if my therapist *knows this* **because she didn't seem to realize,** but sometimes I say fucked up shit in the most casual manner to deflect the feelings, but crack the door open and say, "I'm willing to talk about this, but NO FEELINGS. Not yet."
Anyway, she thought I was just proud of myself or some shit, idk.
But anyway, as therapy is progressing, we talk about the forbidden subject, which is the *act of an ED as a means for getting attention.* Such taboo! But...
I told her, "Well, I kind of want him to notice."
"Notice what?"
"That I'm smol."
"What would it mean if he noticed you were small?"
"I don't know... that maybe I'm not okay."
"Do you think you could just tell him you're not okay?"
...
..........
So I did the thing and told him. Holy fuck, it was like pulling teeth. Absolutely fucking terrible, like three hours of terrible. Describing my methods and motivation, deflecting a bit here and there.
I guess it was nice to hear him tell me how much he needs honesty. He is so sweet. He told me, "When you don't share yourself with me, or you're not honest with me, it makes me feel like I'm unworthy. Like you don't consider me worthy of getting to know the real you. And then it makes me wonder if you're just passing time, waiting until you find someone more worthy."
But what if I'm like a delicious-looking M&M cookie, and you pick me up off the sheet, only to discover my burnt underside?
But I realized how unfair it is to not allow your partner to choose the authentic you.
That was so long, but it really made me wonder if people who do, deep down, want to be found out, are doing it because that's their way of communicating that something isn't quite right? You want attention, and maybe even help, but you're not ready for help?
Idk, it just struck me in quite a way to have my therapist suggest I simply tell my boyfriend I'm not ok. It was also extremely cleansing. The purity and relief my soul felt was incredible.
[Rant/Rave] Last night, I purged for the first time in 6 years.
/u/ProbablySleptWith [5'6 | CW 155 lbs | GW 110 lbs | 21F]
Created: Thu Dec 21 08:33:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7la5pw/last_night_i_purged_for_the_first_time_in_6_years/
---
I have never, by any means, recovered from my eating disorders. It comes in waves of completely 0 to 100 obsessive compulsion, counting calories, starving for days, EC stacking to the point of near cardiac arrest, to absolutely nothing at all, bingeing every day and eating several helpings of every food in front of my face. There is no in between. It's one or the other.
For the past few months, I've been on the obsessive side. Focused, goal-oriented, feeling on top of the world and in control of myself for the first time in ages. Last night, I came home from work after three days of sub-500 cals and I didn't take an extra dose of EC stack because I wanted to drink vodka and diet soda. Of course, I ended up bingeing. Destroying all the progress I had made in one foul swoop. I was sitting on the couch with my boyfriend and our roommates, and my stomach was churning and I just felt like I had to go to the bathroom...
Before I knew it, my fingers were down my throat and everything was coming up. I didn't even think about it enough to run the water to drown out the noise, but no one heard me regardless.
My boyfriend is well aware of my struggles with ED tendencies, so I admitted to him that I had purged when we went to bed. He said that he understands how difficult it must be -- he has a lot of gastrointestinal issues so he almost never eats, even when I cook for him he can hardly handle more than a few bites. My roommate/best friend is about 40 lbs overweight and always obsessing over working out and dieting. Her husband, who also lives with us, eats all that he wants and never gains an ounce. I'm surrounded by it at all times, of course I'm going to think about it constantly. He was very sweet and understanding and he simply said that he loved me and wants me to be okay, that he trusts me to ask for help if I need it.
At this point I'm torn between feeling like I've failed, and feeling like I'm not sick enough. Yes, I relapsed after six *years* of recovery from purging. But I'm still fat. So it doesn't matter. If I was actually sick, people would know it, it would be obvious. If I'm still fat, then obviously I'm not sick enough to need help. Right?
Sorry for the endless rant, I just know that this is the only community where I can feel safe discussing these things.
[Rant/Rave] Haha tfw this happens even though you’ve been eating normally for 1 month
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 21 08:32:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7la5mf/haha_tfw_this_happens_even_though_youve_been/
---
https://i.redd.it/gobg37vboa501.jpg
[Discussion] Calorie Estimation?
/u/arandomnamebcimlazy [5’5| CW: 139| BMI: 23.1| -87| Female|]
Created: Thu Dec 21 08:26:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7la45q/calorie_estimation/
---
https://i.redd.it/hzro8g46na501.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I'm going to have the opportunity to weigh myself for the first time in a year, and the apprehension is killing me.
/u/FromMyIvoryTower [5.25 | CW: Unknown | BMI: Unknown | Weight Lost: Unknown | F]
Created: Thu Dec 21 08:17:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7la28l/im_going_to_have_the_opportunity_to_weigh_myself/
---
The last time I weighed myself, I was 145 pounds with a BMI of 25.7. Pants that are four sizes smaller than the ones I wore at the time are slack now, but I'm still concerned that I've either gained weight or lost a negligible amount, especially since I've been wavering between restriction and relatively normal eating, interspersed with the occasional binge. The state I live in has the eighth highest obesity rate in the nation, so the decrease could be attributed to vanity sizing. Yesterday I managed to find a few pictures of myself at 145 pounds, and I was completely filled with revulsion. What if that's what I still look like?
[Help] I told my boyfriend I was purging because I spent two days feeling incredibly depressed for lying to him
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 137.7 | BMI 27 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26 F]
Created: Thu Dec 21 07:47:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l9vu8/i_told_my_boyfriend_i_was_purging_because_i_spent/
---
And now he wants me to stop counting calories.
I can stop using the MFP app and estimate what I eat, but I cannot mentally stop counting calories. Has anyone else had success counting in their head without an app? Can I do this? I have to stop the obsessive behaviors in front of him, he is really concerned and we live in a studio apartment so I really can't hide anything from him. I know that I will probably lose weight more slowly but as long as I'm losing weight I'm okay with this. I'm okay as long as the number keeps going down and doesn't go up.
Can I do this without logging? Is it possible?
[Rant/Rave] I feel disgusting
/u/acidfairy [5'4" | CW: 133 | GW: 115 | -45 | 24F]
Created: Thu Dec 21 07:29:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l9s2q/i_feel_disgusting/
---
I lost 50 pounds and gained 15-20 of it back. Back when I was skinny, people were nicer and liked me more. I got hit on all the time. I felt less annoying and less of a burden to people. Now I'm an annoying fat person with acne that no one looks at me twice.
I'm starting today. I'm going to get skinny again. I'll start taking my adderall and it'll help. I don't care if I don't sleep on it and if I grind my teeth and sweat. At least I'll be skinny.
[Tip] Goal Tracker App Can Make Check-Off Calendars
/u/FoofyFoof
Created: Thu Dec 21 07:24:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l9qyj/goal_tracker_app_can_make_checkoff_calendars/
---
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=info.intrasoft.habitgoaltracker&hl=en&referrer=utm_source%3Dgoogle%26utm_medium%3Dorganic%26utm_term%3Dgoal+tracker+app&pcampaignid=APPU_1_sV87WvKTMeup0gLV16CYCw
[Other] Current Mood
/u/light_as_a_feather04 [5'6 | 106 | 17.0 | GW: 98| 34/F]
Created: Thu Dec 21 07:11:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l9olu/current_mood/
---
https://youtu.be/6m0merNMnog
[Rant/Rave] Holidays :(
/u/Simplemind16
Created: Thu Dec 21 07:03:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l9mvp/holidays/
---
Does anyone feel like Christmas is looming up just waiting to ruin your hard work. I’m so scared bc I’ve been able to play off not eating any meal but dinner, and eat a small portion for that. But even eating the small portions I’m eating now, it still adds up to waaayyy more calories than I’d ever want to consume bc of all the unhealthy Christmas foods. Plus there’s the candy to have to force myself to throw away.. ugh it’s just so annoying, | wish people wouldn’t celebrate every little holiday with a meal!!!
[Rant/Rave] insomnia and affects on my (and your?) ED.... mini rant.
/u/hoarderline
Created: Thu Dec 21 06:57:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l9lju/insomnia_and_affects_on_my_and_your_ed_mini_rant/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] DAE? How, just how do normal people maintain without consciously controlling their calorie intake?
/u/lilly_t
Created: Thu Dec 21 06:00:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l9b1s/dae_how_just_how_do_normal_people_maintain/
---
On mobile, can't flair...So I'm sitting in a café rn, watching people ordering croissant and stuff, and am wondering about this. It always blew my mind, how do non-ED people maintain their weight, considering they don't count calories!?? I mean, the amount of food people just eat in a regular day would make me gain weight in no time, but not mainly because of screwed metabolism/restricting, but just because it seems too many calories for anybody who's not working out constantly or who isn't a lumberjack!? For example when somebody's having, say, a Latté and a piece of cake in the afternoon, this is not unusual right? But this would be like 600-800 cal, and assuming they eat normal sized breakfast, lunch and dinner, each approximately 500-700 cals (could also easily be more)...so they would eat 2100-2600+ a day?? How is this even possible for a woman without gaining? Do they actually gain and then just eat less every other day to balance it out, BUT without realising?
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support December 21, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Dec 21 05:11:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l92ld/weekly_emotional_support_december_21_2017/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! December 21, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Dec 21 05:10:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l92e2/daily_food_diary_december_21_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 21, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Other] If I were a super villain, I'd be... THE SILENT PURGER
/u/yesyeshihello [157cm | BMI: 17.24 | 27F]
Created: Thu Dec 21 04:47:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l8yo1/if_i_were_a_super_villain_id_be_the_silent_purger/
---
That special meal you made so lovingly? That treat you gave me as a sweet gesture? Up and out and down toilet it goes.
Your girlfriend, your daughter, your sister, your friend..? I'm all of them, and I'm slowly killing myself.
I'll purge any time, any where, any thing. Think I'm safe because you're literally standing outside the bathroom door? Think again! Think I'm safe because I've only been gone for five minutes? Sorry buddy!!!
I'm efficient, I'm effective, I'm disgusting and I'm pure evil. I'm THE SILENT PURGER.
EDIT: Don't judge me I'm sick.
[Rant/Rave] FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
/u/throwaway234512e31
Created: Thu Dec 21 04:38:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l8x80/fuck_fuck_fuck_fuck/
---
EVERYTHING WAS GOING SO WELL AT UNI
I COULD FAST AND WAS AT MY LOWEST WEIGHT
NOW IM HOME AND FORCED TO EAT AT LEAST 2 MEALS A DAY WHICH LEADS TO BINGING
ALREADY REGAINED 4 POUNDS AND CAN FEEL MY FAT COMING BACK ON
FUCK FUCK
HELP ME WHAT DO I DO
[Other] Three years after my first attempt at recovery, and I'm saying my goodbyes.
/u/glorydaisy [5'3 | CW 118 | UGW 100]
Created: Thu Dec 21 04:03:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l8s32/three_years_after_my_first_attempt_at_recovery/
---
I'm in a fight for my life. This has to be my last relapse, so either this ED is going down, or I am. The plan is to get bad enough to be admitted to residential treatment, which I believe is my only chance. But I'm starting to realize what I'm doing. I'm ripping myself apart, piece by piece, and I might not make it. This is the most important fight of my life, and I'm only just now realizing the significance. Like a special mission I might not come back from.
I've been up all night sending my final goodbyes to people who have made my life better. This year is to going to get really dicey, and I have to know that if I can't cut it, I've said all I need to say. It's also important to me that I say I don't want to die. But if my life is going to be all about relapses, I don't want to participate. This year is truly gonna prove what I'm really made of.
I want others to feel bad about themselves
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 21 03:56:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l8qxz/i_want_others_to_feel_bad_about_themselves/
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[deleted]
On binging and how I stopped (Things I've realized about my ED over time)
/u/luxklepto
Created: Thu Dec 21 03:26:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l8mpx/on_binging_and_how_i_stopped_things_ive_realized/
---
I use to have a primarily restrict binge problem (later bulimia and an b/p). I'm sure many relate. It's depressing because I do well all week, I binge at the end, and the result is net gaining weight. Two years later, I'm 10 lb less, and I see people on loseit and fasting that have lost 60 lb in 2 years.
So it made me realize. Fuck this, I could've done so much more with my time than obsess over food. I've nothing to show for it. I'm not even at the weight I want to be.
And we all remember the FIRST time, right? Like when you first started, and you believed it was healthy, and that belief, for me at least, is what motivated me to keep going because I'm doing the right thing in my mind. Only after I realize how destructive it is do I start telling myself, "oh I should just eat, I should just have a little, I know this is wrong, I know this is unhealthy, I want to be normal". The idea, that my one slip, one binge is no big deal, adds up.
Something I realize is that I should only do something that I can see myself doing for the rest of my life. Your habits determine your future, so if you can't see yourself doing what you're doing today for the next 50 years, then reevaluate. Because if this were just about weight loss, and you don't believe that you can do what you're doing today forever, then you're gonna go back to your old ways when you stop. That's why the FIRST time was so successful. For me, I honestly believed I was doing the healthy thing - something I could and want to maintain forever.
So if you feel like shit after eating 200 calories a day for the last 2 weeks, you know it's not going to get better, and you know you're suffering, so logically, there eventually will come a point where you must stop this. And when you do, it's usually not a pretty sight. But if you honestly believe that you can do what you're doing today forever, then do it. Who is anyone to tell you what's good for you?
I think my problem is that I take things to the extreme. "If I eat a deficit of 500, I'll lose 1 lb a week. Well I want to lose more ASAP, so I'm gonna fast and run 8 miles a day all week, and no one is going to tell me that it is unrealistic because I'm can do what other people can't especially when it comes to losing weight, I have an ED ffs, so I have it in me to do crazy shit like that and not have it backfire on me". Then day 3, massive 6000 cal binge. Calculate. Shit, if I had just stuck with the 500 deficit... Rinse and repeat for several months, before you know it you're heavier than your starting weight.
Honestly, the real thing that got me out of my ED was having a different addiction - a different escape, a way to cope with problems. An ED, like other addictions, gives you a clear cut objective that you can spend all your mental effort working towards instead of dealing with real life where you don't know the objective, and even if you did, you don't know if it's the right one or if what you're doing is proactive. In our minds, it's clear cut, it's easy. It's the same with shoplifting and video games and grades and drugs. The goals are simple, the methods are creative, the rewards are obvious. Instead of dealing with family problems, I'll ignore and go shoplift, or I'll focus on losing weight or I'll obsess over the ACT - over my academic future.
And like other addictions, an ED becomes our identity. When I fall into obsessions, I start to think of myself as of that obsession. When I was obsessed with shoplifting, I defined myself on how good of a thief I was. How I had pretty things that other people couldn't afford. And it made me feel better than them. With an ED, I defined myself by how much more weight I can lose than them, how much more self control I have, how much healthier I am, or later, how much more sick I am than they are.
If I recover from my ED and my addictions, then who am I? I need a new identity. I'm like everyone else now. What are my likes, dislikes, values, preferences? What do I do with my time now? Really, who am I? I feel like no one. An addiction is much easier. I know who I am. I'm a shoplifter, a bulimic, a gamer, a gambler, a chemistry nerd. With each addiction comes an identity, and I morph myself them. It's always all about me, who I am, what the world is doing to me, how I can survive.
I don't know the answer. At the root of it all though, is that I don't want to deal with real life, and I don't know who I am.
[Discussion] Anyone else obsessed with low/no calorie condiments?
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Thu Dec 21 03:02:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l8jep/anyone_else_obsessed_with_lowno_calorie_condiments/
---
I eat the same meal Monday-Friday, egg whites and turkey. Last night somehow went through nearly an entire bottle of mustard. I know if has *some* calories but not ones I feel need to be counted but somehow it makes me feel like I ate more. I also love hot sauce and the 5 calorie ketchup.
Partner away. Food fail.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 21 01:39:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l882o/partner_away_food_fail/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l882o/partner_away_food_fail/
[Rant/Rave] My goal is so close and the self-sabotage is calling my name.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW: 140.6 | UGW 105 | 25/F]
Created: Thu Dec 21 01:36:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l87rt/my_goal_is_so_close_and_the_selfsabotage_is/
---
140.6 right now. It's so fucking close to the 130s. 140.6 was even after a few ounces of cheese (truffle cheese is life, can't stop me), so I'm not even empty.
I haven't seen the 130s in over a year. I was happily there for a while and then was turned down from my dream job and then moved to a new country with lots of depression and stress. My weight went back up and down and up and down. But that's done.
The 130s are so close I can almost touch them. My life is better in the 130s. Things are okay for me and I start to notice the positive differences.
Despite knowing all this, that small idiot part of me is saying 'Go eat the frosting in the kitchen. No one will know and it won't affect your weight too much.' Just no.
Fuck self-sabotage and whatever reason it exists. I'm going to be comfortably in the 130s on Christmas and that's that.
[Discussion] Still thinking i look fat after weight loss?
/u/jaclynct
Created: Thu Dec 21 01:03:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l834n/still_thinking_i_look_fat_after_weight_loss/
---
in 2017, i lost 30 pounds. i am 5’3 & 115 pounds currently. i have been maintaining it for a while now though. people assure me i don’t look like i’ve gained any weight and the weight on the scale stays the same, but i feel like i look like i’m fat again. does anyone else experience this? like you look in the mirror and you feel like you look like you have gained 10 pounds or you’re at the weight that you started at? this causes me so much stress. it’s not in my head either. even though i weigh the same, the thigh gap i had for a while is slowly going away. idk.
just weighed myself for the first time since leaving treatment
/u/sorenkierkegels
Created: Thu Dec 21 00:52:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l81cs/just_weighed_myself_for_the_first_time_since/
---
I’m gonna fucking die. Recovery isn’t worth this
[Rant/Rave] Weight gain
/u/daisyhands
Created: Thu Dec 21 00:26:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l7xie/weight_gain/
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I was 98lbs on monday and now i’m 100.4lbs :(( i binged twice and i know it’s not much weight gain but i feel like everyone who looks at me will notice that i’ve gained weight, if that makes sense? ahh im so disappointed in myself :(
[Help] Planning relieves pain
/u/ivegot54321
Created: Wed Dec 20 23:45:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l7qvr/planning_relieves_pain/
---
Hi lovelies. My ex left me and in the last 2-3 months I’ve been stuck in a binge cycle. No purging, just eating and eating and an occasional laxative. Yesterday I had a very bad one and today I’m 55,6 kg (122,5 pounds), 1,2 kg more than yesterday.... 10 pounds more than I weighted in October. BTW I’m 4.11/5.0 (152 cm) so it shows... a lot.
My self esteem equals zero and the only way i can cope and don’t hate myself even more is planning. I feel it’s everything I do, always. But I really need this to work.
I’m planning to do a liquid/fruits “diet” of <200 kcal (Except 1 obligated family light lunch on Christmas) until I get to 51kg/112 (kind of a safe zone for me), and after that, going back to 800-1000 kcal a day to prevent binging and messing everything up again.
Doesn’t sound crazy, right? How many days do you think it can be? I’m thinking at least 15 days with some obligated meal within... Anyone had any experience with losing 10 pounds in a short time? I could use some encouragement rn...
[Help] does anyone have a calorie estimate? it’s roughly 2/3 cups fried rice 1/2 cup kung pao (pow) chicken and like 8 lays chips
/u/i-rate [5'5 | 120 | 20.63I | 21.2 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 20 23:34:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l7p9b/does_anyone_have_a_calorie_estimate_its_roughly/
---
https://i.redd.it/e036ucvd08501.jpg
[Other] How do people just... not care about food?
/u/fluffyfinaland [5'6"| CW 151.8 | GW 120 | -20.2 | 21F]
Created: Wed Dec 20 23:10:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l7l3c/how_do_people_just_not_care_about_food/
---
I've had a bunch of homemade sugar cookies in my kitchen for a few days (it's been torture I don't even know why I made them) and so I decided screw it I'm going to have some tonight.
I put some on a plate for both of us and made coffee and brought them to bed and he's just wandering around and scooping the cat boxes, getting ready for bed, and I'm just sitting here STARING at them.
I don't know how he can just... not acknowledge them? I could have easily devoured the entire container in that time. I wish I had that sort of uncaring attitude toward food.
[Rant/Rave] Coke 👏🏼Zero 👏🏼fills 👏🏼the 👏🏼holes 👏🏼inside 👏🏼of 👏🏼me 👏🏼left 👏🏼empty 👏🏼from 👏🏼a 👏🏼lack 👏🏼of 👏🏼self 👏🏼love
/u/lunartalk [5'4 | HW:165 | CW:118 |F]
Created: Wed Dec 20 22:22:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l7cia/coke_zero_fills_the_holes_inside_of_me_left_empty/
---
Coke Zero is breakfast, lunch, and dinner #grind #HolidayRestriction
[Discussion] Anyone else got a shitty sleep schedule?
/u/littlecorpse
Created: Wed Dec 20 21:42:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l759y/anyone_else_got_a_shitty_sleep_schedule/
---
I swear having a shit schedule makes you eat like shit too. Its currently almost 6 am, like almost every other night. Past 1 am it gets lonely, I'm alone with my thoughts, which leads to feeling shit and eventually eating shit. I snacked on half the food I bought for tomorrow.. which at least isn't a lot but its still a problem
Its usually worse when I'm restricting if its related at all
[Rant/Rave] Never purged this often before but I dont get enough up to not gain weight
/u/SpaceWhale88 [Height 5'3 | CW 180ish | HW/LW 197/118lbs | GW 136]
Created: Wed Dec 20 21:35:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l73x0/never_purged_this_often_before_but_i_dont_get/
---
FML
Strategy
/u/Fefe887
Created: Wed Dec 20 21:04:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l6y9y/strategy/
---
What do you find to be most effective? Eating the same number of cals everyday or varying amount per day?
[Other] first time on the scale in a month
/u/gothqueeen [5’7 | 165.5 | F/20 | GW: 130]
Created: Wed Dec 20 20:54:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l6w9p/first_time_on_the_scale_in_a_month/
---
The last time I was weighed was at the doctor on November 21st. It’s been one month.
We don’t have a scale in my house (dad’s idea), but I’m staying with my mom this weekend. She has a very accurate scale, and while I am scared..... I look forward to know if my hard work has paid off. I don’t really feel or even look different, but I’m hopeful I’ve lost at least a few pounds. Something. Anything. Maybe it just isn’t noticeable yet?
I am very anxious. Scales usually make me cry.... but maybe not this time.
[Other] Longest streak of no purging
/u/shrinktoavoid [F 5'7|109.0]
Created: Wed Dec 20 20:51:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l6vnj/longest_streak_of_no_purging/
---
12 days of no purging and I ruined it tonight. Everything was totally fine until I thought I could handle a bit of kettlecorn. It was only gonna put me over my calorie limit by maybe 100, which I was totallyfine with. But one cup turned into two cups and then two cups turned into the whole bag. By then I knew i was going to purge, so I ate the 380 calorie brownie I had been saving (tbh I'm glad I ate it because now it's finally gone and i can stop thinking about it.) And then to make my purge extra 'worth It', I ate four (fucking delicious) graham crackers with a shit ton of peanut butter and banana slices spread on them.
No idea what the total calories of my mini binge ended up being, but it doesn't even matter because I'm fairly certain everything came up anyways, including my planned 200 calories worth of cantaloupe and 65 calories of salad from dinner.
I don't even know if I would count this as a binge. The only time I felt out of control was while shoving handfuls of popcorn in my mouth. And as soon as I made the decision to purge I kinda snapped out of binge mode and thoughtfully decided on the other things I wanted to eat since I had already ruined my day.
So now it's done. Hopefully tomorrow I can get back on track. I guess my goal will be to make it 13 days purge free? I hate purging. I wish I could stop. If I knew that I couldn't purge then I could probably stop having mini binges like this, but knowing that I can eat whatever I want and bring it back up minutes later makes it REALLY hard to not eat everything in sight.
I don't know what the point of this post is... I guess just acknowledging my failure and keeping myself accountable? Ugh.
[Discussion] Has anyone else seen Coco?
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | CW 117.0 | GW 108 | 20.5 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 20 20:19:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l6plh/has_anyone_else_seen_coco/
---
All those beautiful skeletons dancing around my *gosh*. It was such a beautiful movie for so many other reasons but [*these hip bones though.*](http://cdn3-www.comingsoon.net/assets/uploads/2017/11/cocointerview.jpg)
[Rant/Rave] shitshow express, now playing in my bedroom
/u/okayls [5'4 |hw: 240 | ugw: 95 |20NB/F]
Created: Wed Dec 20 19:57:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l6l62/shitshow_express_now_playing_in_my_bedroom/
---
i've been home for less than a week from uni and i'm falling apart.
my anxiety is spiking so bad around weight. during finals week i was eating just real badly (like, taco bell every other day if not every day, etc.) and then i get home and i'm excited to cook! i can make vegetarian meals!! not burn my black bean patties!!!
and of course that turns into absolutely stuffing my face and i feel disgusting. like i'm gonna show up to RA training at the beginning of next semester and be the fattest person there.
my sorority little is coming to my house tomorrow to bring my xmas present (a dress she bought me) and i'm so afraid it won't fit. it's a torrid 2 / a 2x !!!! I'M AFRAID I'LL BE TOO BIG FOR A 2X.
i vented to my best friend who knows what's going on with me and she understood but she went silent after i talked about the size/dress and i'm already mentally figuring out how to burn that bridge.
(and to top it all off my partner just casually dropped that he struggles with an ED i'm gonna kms i can't deal with any of this i'm gonna trigger him like a piece of shit)
[Discussion] DAE feel like an imposter?
/u/Chaiteathaichi
Created: Wed Dec 20 19:37:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l6h94/dae_feel_like_an_imposter/
---
Most days I feel like I could stop if I really wanted to. I feel like I could eat “normally”. It makes me feel like an eating disorder imposter. IDK, maybe I’m just lying to myself.
[Tip] This calendar has helped me tremendously. Hearts are good days (ate 500 cal or less) Slashes are bad (binge/purge) I started on the 4th. Tomorrow is weigh in #3...I’m so nervous.
/u/mibunnie [5'2" | F | CW:175 | GW:115 ]
Created: Wed Dec 20 19:34:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l6goe/this_calendar_has_helped_me_tremendously_hearts/
---
https://i.redd.it/s8udif8it6501.jpg
[Help] Has anyone used "SkipThePie.org" for nutritional info?
/u/artful_heart [5'7.5 | CW 96.5 | GW1 95 | GW2 92 | UGW 88 | BMI 14.78 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 20 19:26:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l6f3p/has_anyone_used_skipthepieorg_for_nutritional_info/
---
I just stumbled across [Skip The Pie](https://skipthepie.org/) and was curious if anyone else has used this site. It gives caloric and nutrient information for anything; kindof a search engine.
Anyone know how accurate it is?
[Help] How do you guys make black coffee palatable?
/u/selemat
Created: Wed Dec 20 19:01:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l69zr/how_do_you_guys_make_black_coffee_palatable/
---
On mobile, please flair, Help, thanks! EDIT: figured out how to flair in Slide. :)
Honestly I can't stand black coffee. I'm partial to tea, but when I do have coffee, it's one-third sugar. Any tips? I've read somewhere here about butter, what's that about? Also I have a Keurig and an espresso machine, so will take all the recipe recs!
[Discussion] How many calories are in that one special food you love, but will not eat?
/u/moncai-mama
Created: Wed Dec 20 18:56:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l68xx/how_many_calories_are_in_that_one_special_food/
---
I love this certain mexican candy that is similar to sour punch straws, but is spicy instead of sour. So yummy.
A small pack of about 6, 4 inch straws is 460 calories.
So I avoid those.
[Rant/Rave] Thank you chewing and spitting!!!
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW:142 |CW:123 |20.6 |GW:110 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 20 18:47:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l6767/thank_you_chewing_and_spitting/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Eating at home makes me want to Die™
/u/dipped_in_gold_ [5'3 | CW ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | GW 105 | 22F]
Created: Wed Dec 20 18:26:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l6332/eating_at_home_makes_me_want_to_die/
---
Me an hour and a half ago: Wow I'm so hungry that I'm nearly passing out when I stand up, why do my parents wait until 7 PM to eat??
Me now: Oh my god I'm so full, why do my parents eat more for a side than I do for an entire meal??
I can't wait until I'm back at college and I can eat (or not eat) on my own terms fml
[Rant/Rave] Proud even though I shouldn’t be
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 | CW 141 | 23.74| F]
Created: Wed Dec 20 17:41:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l5tms/proud_even_though_i_shouldnt_be/
---
I started at 156 and I’ve gotten down to 138 (140 when I’ve eaten) and I’m already noticing such differences. My boyfriend is so much more playful with me. I was making him dinner and he actually PICKED. ME. UP. And carried me off to the bed. Even as I am typing this I noticed my underwear, the tightest piece of clothing I own is LOOSE. I am proud of myself for all of this but part of me knows it’s wrong even tho I’m till “healthy”.
[Goal] Two Months Ago This Was My 1st GW. 95 lbs is within reach.
/u/light_as_a_feather04 [5'6 | 106 | 17.0 | GW: 98| 34/F]
Created: Wed Dec 20 17:25:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l5q61/two_months_ago_this_was_my_1st_gw_95_lbs_is/
---
https://i.redd.it/ei115oxh66501.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I hate the feeling you get after a binge
/u/nycthrowaway51 [5' 3" | CW: 98.5 | BMI: 17.4 | GW: 89]
Created: Wed Dec 20 17:22:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l5pcr/i_hate_the_feeling_you_get_after_a_binge/
---
It's probably one of the things I hate the most about binges. I've been stuck in a bad binge cycle the past two weeks and after every binge I felt so uncomfortable and disgusting. The bloating/gas, hot and sweaty skin, and the feeling of all the fatty and sugary food moving through my body is enough to make my skin crawl. I just want to feel thin and empty, goddammit.
Honestly, I kinda feel like giving up restricting until 2018. It'll be impossible for me to lose 10 pounds and reach my goal weight by New Years, so why even bother.
[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend's comments on body
/u/Mortynight
Created: Wed Dec 20 17:13:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l5nei/boyfriends_comments_on_body/
---
The last time I sent my boyfriend nudes was about a month ago, but I've been stopping because I was at a HW.
I have since dropped 16lbs and felt sexy enough to send nudes again today.
Not only did I leave him incoherent but he also kept gushing about my collarbones!! I feel great!!
[Rant/Rave] Feeling like you dont exist and your life is 'on hold' during a binge...
/u/mina1200
Created: Wed Dec 20 16:46:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l5hdz/feeling_like_you_dont_exist_and_your_life_is_on/
---
Stuck in a reallyyyy bad binge period. I feel like I don't exist. My life has been put on hold until I can get past being this fat bloated ugly piece of shit:( Just a fucking passerby in my own life. I will though, as soon as its January and I can start hardcore restricting again away from my family. I'll probably be feeling like this all throughout xmas and the new years...so I guess I won't remember much of the holidays this year:p pretty fitting, as its been the shittiest year yet, I guess. Just can't wait to get back to starving myself, fuck..
[Help] what to do about hair falling out?
/u/ikren [5'5 | hw-280 cw-205 gw- 130]
Created: Wed Dec 20 16:43:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l5gps/what_to_do_about_hair_falling_out/
---
hi y'all, i havent posted before so i might mess up the formatting, sorry.
ive had binge issues most of my life but have recently managed to pivot into restriction i guess. my hair is coming out like Wild and it's freaking me out but i really dont wanna go to the doctor about it. multiple times a day i can run my hands through my hair and come away with Way too much :/
i know i should probably try to consistently get at least 1200 calories a day, but at the moment particularly im desperate to lose 5lb by the end of the year, so im pretty much fasting other than christmas events at which i plan to just have a bit.
other than hair/skin/nail vitamins/biotin and a general multivitamin, is there anything else i can do? i've stopped wearing my hair up tightly and im trying not to fuss at it too much except i keep ending up going through it and pulling out a bunch more and then making myself feel super anxious looking at yet another bundle of hair gone.
i feel like the answer to this is probably some combination of eat more/ its normal to shed some hair after rapid weightloss but i've always had really thick hair and its just Freaking Me Out this is maybe more of a rant than an actual request for help but aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAA
on a side note fasting is really easy at the moment i would happily not eat until the new year but theres a family christmas dinner tonight (and ive gone over the place's menu but i have no idea what the nutrition info is exactly) and another christmas lunch on the actual day :|
[Other] My family eats so much
/u/oneblueboot [5'8" | CW 133 lbs | GW 120 | 20.2 | 26 F]
Created: Wed Dec 20 16:42:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l5ggh/my_family_eats_so_much/
---
A giant bowl of cereal for breakfast, then a handful of peanuts, two burritos, cheese crackers and hummus, a yogurt bar, grapes, a Babybel, three sodas, my leftover pasta from two nights ago, yogurt bar #2. My brother had all this, all before 3 pm. My mom has been making her way through a big bag of pretzels all afternoon, my sister has had at least three full meals so far. I have no idea anymore if this amount of food is normal or not for one person, but holy shit it seems like there is not a single minute in the day when somebody in this house isn’t snacking.
I thought it would be hard to be around free food, but it is so much harder to dodge all the questions about what I ate, when I ate it, why don’t I want to try some of that new snack mix from the farmers market, what do I want for dinner tonight? It makes me feel so far away from everybody.
I wish I could remember what it felt like to not worry about food. Even before the disordered behaviors came back, I think the disordered thoughts and beliefs have been lurking and prodding at me for a decade.
This life is so lonely.
[Tip] Tip if you use a food scale and are home for the holidays
/u/grrrlgang [5'5" | SW: 170 | CW:150 | GW: 110]
Created: Wed Dec 20 16:18:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l5ao3/tip_if_you_use_a_food_scale_and_are_home_for_the/
---
Just claim that you're bad at judging serving sizes and measure everything out to cut down on food waste by not making too much. Most likely the person won't question you and will not assume you're using a food scale for other reasons.
[Discussion] DAE make their food super spicy as a form of self-harm?
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Wed Dec 20 16:12:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l59e3/dae_make_their_food_super_spicy_as_a_form_of/
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I ask this because my face is currently numb after eating 3 whole jalapeños with my nightly soup (only 4 calories each!).
I’ve started adding far more spice than is normal to my safe foods as a way of punishing myself for eating them. I generally really like spicy foods, too, but lately it’s gotten excessive. I guess it’s sort of like sabotaging food with salt/vinegar, only with bonus physical pain 🙃
[Rant/Rave] I got an exercise bike and I can't even explain the feeling of relief
/u/clittter [5'1.5" | cw 150 | gw 145 | ugw 100 | -20]
Created: Wed Dec 20 15:36:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l50y9/i_got_an_exercise_bike_and_i_cant_even_explain/
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For actual years now I've been binging and gaining weight. I've been literally obese. for. years. I'm not used to it. I'm not okay with it. I'm not coping well. I feel trapped in a giant useless chubby baby body. I don't weigh myself. Any trigger I experience is a trigger to binge and be numb again and smoke so much weed I feel disconnected to my body. Any periods of restricting and fasting are pathetic attempts at damage control. Any weight loss is fleeting. I've been on this rollercoaster for so long that I lost all my muscle from restricting and never did anything to regain it, making almost any exercise feel impossible. Things have been going pretty badly.
So I got this exercise bike and I told myself that this is the last time I'm going to make a big purchase like this with the hope that it's going to make my life better. I did this before with a treadmill, and my stupid useless body was too weak for even that. So I got a recumbent bike because my body can't fail me if I'm sitting down right? There's a backrest. I pretty much just have to be awake to keep myself going on this thing. Maybe if I rebuild some muscle after all these years I won't always feel like I'm dying. Maybe if I don't feel like I'm dying I'll be able to leave the house again. Maybe I'll develop self esteem.
I can see that it doesn't make any sense but I see myself spending enough time on this exercise bike to become a different person. I hope
[Discussion] Looking for a friend
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 20 15:04:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l4teb/looking_for_a_friend/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] My supervisor at work is losing weight the healthy way
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Wed Dec 20 14:27:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l4k94/my_supervisor_at_work_is_losing_weight_the/
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She goes for runs, tries to eat healthy and has lost 20kgs over the last 2 years.
I've lost 10kg since July. It almost makes me feel sorry for her...but she probably doesn't feel like she's going to pass out everyday as she's walking home so...
I guess I'm just in awe of how someone can 'lose weight' and it not go from 'today I'll have a salad for lunch' to 'today I'm just going to eat a salad'.
[Discussion] Flu season! (I'm sick)
/u/kdawg210
Created: Wed Dec 20 13:44:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l49c5/flu_season_im_sick/
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I recently got sick and I usually feel like i should up my calories to get better. Do you think that helps at all, or is it in my head lol. What do you guys do when your sick?
Edit: I'm on mobile so I can't flare
[Rant/Rave] Fallen completely off the wagon......
/u/dino_bones72 [5’3” | 130lbs | 22 | 13lbs | Female ]
Created: Wed Dec 20 13:32:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l46j4/fallen_completely_off_the_wagon/
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[removed]
[Other] This was a gift from a coworker. I think someone is trying to tell me something...
/u/iheartlemons [5'1" | 92.8lb | 17.5BMI | 27F]
Created: Wed Dec 20 13:32:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l46fi/this_was_a_gift_from_a_coworker_i_think_someone/
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https://i.redd.it/mwbvvj4w05501.jpg
[Other] Even in the worst of times...
/u/19thcentlord [5'9" | GW 140 | -102 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 20 13:29:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l45qr/even_in_the_worst_of_times/
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In October, I had a really shitty situation which led to me having to take shelter with a neighbor man while I waited for the cops to arrive. As he was trying to calm me down, he was listing all the reasons why I shouldn't freak out about my situation (domestic violence).
"I know you are a smart woman. You seem like a kind person. I bet you have a good job, don't ya? You're very pretty. You're not fat. You have nothing to worry about!"
All these months later and even though I'm still very traumatized by the events of that night, I keep dwelling on this: why did he say I wasn't fat unprompted??!? Because I'm fat. Otherwise he wouldn't have brought it up. Ugh, thanks for trying though neighbor guy!
[Rant/Rave] I feel myself switching from bulimia to orthorexia
/u/cacathrowaway
Created: Wed Dec 20 13:10:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l40v3/i_feel_myself_switching_from_bulimia_to_orthorexia/
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I.e. I am switching from obsessing over my weight to obsessing over the healthiness of the food I eat. DAE do this or something similar? As many of us do, I move all around the ED spectrum. But orthorexia is where I'm the most "stable."
I feel myself transitioning because I haven't been able to lose any weight for the past year. I've just been binging and restricting my way to maintaining my weight. And I'm tired of it. It's easier for me to obsess over the healthiness of my food, rather than the amount. So yeah. Not that switching is a conscious decision.
There was my ramble. Idk. It's funny how this shit never goes away (at least for me). It just changes, like a shapeshifting demon.
[Rant/Rave] To the crazy person who once posted here about eating baby food...
/u/Size666 [5'8F | Walrus | -43lbs | UGW: 113]
Created: Wed Dec 20 12:51:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l3vw1/to_the_crazy_person_who_once_posted_here_about/
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THANK YOU! You saved me from a crazy binge moment.
Was craving pasta hard, got the Gerber Graduates Spaghetti Rings in meat sauce (~160 calories) instead of going to the pizza place to order a massive tin of baked ziti (idk, like ~4,000 cals??). Took 30 seconds in the microwave and completely satisfied the craving.
Kind stranger, you are a life saver. I could cry right now, I'm so happy.
[Discussion] My plan for these holidays...because I have been emotional eating and my fav jeans now don't zip up :'(
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 57.1kg | BMI 18.86 |- 15kg | GW 52kg | 25F]
Created: Wed Dec 20 12:18:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l3nnm/my_plan_for_these_holidaysbecause_i_have_been/
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So I tried on my size W26 jeans and they buttoned up but didn't zip up. My friend was like "well you did have a big meal last night", but in August they zipped up WITH ROOM TO SPARE. Anyway, that was a big wake up call. Don't know what I weigh because I'm too scared to check, but I'm going to wait until Friday morning to see.
20th-22nd - Fast - I am allowed water, coke zero, tea. Treats for fasting = Go to the cinema, get my septum pierced
23rd - Intermittent fast, one meal in the evening. 20:4 IF. Exercise = Walk the dog.
24th - Keep busy before my parents' Christmas Eve party. Help my mum around the house so much that I 'forget' to eat (whoopsie haha I had so much fun cleaning the bathroom, guess I should just eat ALL this spinach wow what a calorific meal)
Party: Eat two of the vegan things my mum prepared and go heavy on the rum and diet coke - that way I can feign nausea on Christmas day ;)
25th - Allow myself up to 1600kcal but don't go crazy. Any vegan chocolates I get I will take to my girlfriend's so that everyone up there can enjoy them.
26th - Back up with my sister - fast in the car for 5 hours (not looking forward to this as car journeys are boring af)
27th - fast
28th - see my friends in the day and my gf in the evening. 20:4IF
29th - 30th - 20:4IF - 1000kcal or less
31st - NYE party with friends, again - alcohol calories = nausea
1st - 4th Jan - 1000kcal or less days with a 48h fast thrown in.
5th - Fly back to Russia - Fast this day
6th - 9th - IF 20:4.
I am HOPING to stick to this. The ways I'm going to cope are: sleeping in late, letting myself enjoy Christmas, smoking (I was supposed to quit) and drinking hugeeee mugs of almond milk hot chocolate (something like 50kcal per mug which I can deal with) and mugs of ginger tea.
Also going to try on those jeans every day to motivate myself.
How about you?
[Help] Someone PLEASE help me figure this out
/u/dre-ezy [5’4 | CW 101.2 | ftm ]
Created: Wed Dec 20 12:18:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l3nge/someone_please_help_me_figure_this_out/
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I went to pita pit and I was forced to eat I had
half a small spicy bean pita (whole wheat) with chedder cheese lettuce and mayo
how many fucking calories is that someome please help
im freaking the fuck out
[Tip] Packing to go home for the holidays, gotta pack the essentials....
/u/-momoyome- [5"3' | HW: 270 CW: 188 GW: 99 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 20 12:02:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l3j9b/packing_to_go_home_for_the_holidays_gotta_pack/
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https://i.imgur.com/MlSnPLp.jpg
[Discussion] Do you guys still log food that you purge?
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 137.7 | BMI 27 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26 F]
Created: Wed Dec 20 11:51:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l3ghr/do_you_guys_still_log_food_that_you_purge/
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I'm just wondering if anyone else keeps the counts from food that they end up purging. I just keep them there and mentally remind myself that I didn't consume that much. Like if my MFP intake is 800 and I purged a 300 calorie meal I know that I didn't really eat 800 but I still log it because of the chance that I didn't get all of it out.
[Other] Artful_Heart's Starburst Mono-Diet, Day One
/u/artful_heart [5'7.5 | CW 96.5 | GW1 95 | GW2 92 | UGW 88 | BMI 14.78 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 20 11:42:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l3eb0/artful_hearts_starburst_monodiet_day_one/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I fucking hate being at home
/u/girltiredofwaiting [5'6" | CW: 234.3 | SW: 244.3 | GW: 130| 21F]
Created: Wed Dec 20 09:51:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l2lzb/i_fucking_hate_being_at_home/
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TW: sexual assault/self harm (attempt(s))/shitty parenting
.
.
.
this probably isn't gonna make a lot of sense, i just need to write it down somewhere and get it all out. so i'm a senior in college home for break, i just got my final grades for the semester and i made 3 A+s an A and a B+ (because i had a 89.9 and my professor wouldn't round up lmao) and that means i have a 4.0 for the semester which is literally the first time in college i've had one since my very first semester (in high school i was a super overachiever and had like a 4.5 gpa and a 34 act and full scholarship to college and all that). and my first semester my (then undiagnosed) depression/anxiety kicked in big time after i was sexually assaulted by someone i thought was a friend, and basically i hyperfocused on school (and also restricting lmao) as a way to get control back / "beat him" since i knew he was super competitive about grades. and then after that i realized how much i fucking hated my major but my parents wouldn't let me switch until last semester so i failed like three classes and tanked my gpa. so this is literally the first time in college i've gotten these grades under my own power, like i was super excited. and i told my parents and my dad asked me if i "actually worked to get the grades or if i slept with my professors to get them" and i'm so fucking upset, like he *knows* what happened to me freshman year and he knows how excited i was about these grades and i just don't know why he would say that. i just want to go upstairs and cut myself but i forgot to bring any razors home (which i'm kicking myself for) so i guess i'll just fast for the next few days, that'll kinda be the same thing right?
so that this is kinda relevant to this subreddit, feel free to rant about your shitty parents or rave about your good ones haha
[Help] Not ED-Related but I really need help
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 151.5 | GW: 118 | -15.3 | F24]
Created: Wed Dec 20 09:12:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l2cqm/not_edrelated_but_i_really_need_help/
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Hey guys so this is just gonna be a long rambling not always ED-related mess but I need to get it out and y’all are always so kind and if I don’t tell *someone* I’m going to hurt myself. I want to so bad. I just want to die.
So my bf and I got together in July of this year and it turns out he’s a huge nerd. I tried to get into the stuff he was into cause y’know, I love the big oaf and wanted to bond with him over shit. I started talking to one of his friends (Matt) a bunch over text to learn more about a specific thing they’re all into.
Matt and I became okay-ish friends, he mostly vented to me when he was upset about shit. It’s a very hot and cold friendship, he’s very touchy and sensitive about everything and it’s absurdly easy to accidentally offend him. He thinks he's ways right and fuck everyone else.
Anyways, his family has decided to exile him from Christmas for reasons. Without elaborating, he disagrees with a huge decision his sister is making (and I agree, she’s def in the wrong) but is going about voicing that disagreement the wrong way. Basically while he’s right about disagreeing, he’s being a huge ass about it and pissed his family off enough for them to say they’ve had enough. I don’t blame them.
Fast forward to last Friday. We (bf, me, Matt, other friends) were all going to go to a movie. Matt and his roommate picked me up at the train station on my way back from a work party at which I had had some wine, because bf was caught up in traffic and couldn’t. We were headed to the movie theatre and were meeting bf there. I was drunk but not like, totally wiped. Just a bit tipsy. I asked about his family and said something about how there’s so much drama going on in his family (which is true, and he usually agrees with). I was sitting in the back seat in the middle, Matt was driving, roommate was in the passenger’s seat.
He suddenly turned around in his seat, grabbed my arm, smacked me across the face and told me if I ever said anything about his family again, he would “beat the fuck out of me”. Then let go, smacked the phone out of my hand, pulled over off the highway (it was snowing) and told me to get out of the car. I refused. We sat there for 15 until I finally asked if he was really going to miss the movie, and then he pulled back onto the road.
I texted my bf to tell him what happened but asked him to just give me his apartment key, I still wanted him to go have a good time. He was beyond livid at his friend and took me home despite my protests for him to stay and watch the movie. He tucked me in with the dogs, made sure I was ok. I fell asleep.
I haven’t been able to stop eating since. I keep running this all around my head over and over again. I know I fucked up bad. I grew up with an abusive dad but it was always mental/emotional, no one has ever hit me like that before. I can’t understand why I can’t just get over it. I feel……I don’t know what I feel. Violated? But it’s not like he even actually hurt me, it didn’t even leave a mark.
He apologized too and he was at my bfs apartment with us the next day to do a game thing and all was cool. We talked about it, he said he was just trying to hit the phone out of my hand and he didn’t mean to hit my face but it still happened. No one has made me feel like that since I was in high school and my dad was still at the peak of his abuse.
Here's the hard part: I can’t tell anyone. My mom and I are really close but if I tell her, she will tell my dad (who I’m fine with now) who will almost certainly call up this dude’s boss (he’s military) and have him arrested for assault. My therapist is on vacation til January. I’ve finally stopped binging (I hope) but I just feel…so lost. He was a friend. An irritating friend. But a friend. But he hit me across the face. But I was drunk and I guess mouthing off. But I don’t know if that justifies hitting someone? But he didn’t mean to do it. But But But But But. I’m just so hurt. I also found out I just failed grad school this term. I have this horrible urge to cut right now and I don’t know what to do. I feel so powerless and small and stupid and worthless and lost. Am I a bad person guys? I’ve only ever tried to help this dude whenever he’s asked me for advice or whatever. For his part, my bf is livid that this happened and tore him up for it, but has to work with him everyday on base so it’s not like he can do too much else. He feels awful though. I love bf, he’s my rock in everything and a genuinely good dude. I guess I just need someone to tell me why I feel so guilty?
And I’ve gained 5lbs since Friday so fuck everything else too.
[Help] Can someone convince me that eating at 1000 calories will not cause me to gain weight?
/u/mintslut [4'11 | CW: 108.4 | -15.2lbs | F]
Created: Wed Dec 20 08:39:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l24r4/can_someone_convince_me_that_eating_at_1000/
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I'm 4'11. I weighed in at 108.4lbs on Monday, but for the past two days I've been 109.4lbs. I ate at 500 calories on Monday, and 1200 calories yesterday. I haven't had a bowel movement since yesterday morning, but my brain is convinced the reason I gained is because I ate at 1200 calories. However, I need to eat 1000 calories or above as a part of my attempt to "recover"/high restrict.
I need help convincing myself that eating 1000 calories a day won't cause me to gain weight. Multiple TDEE calculators put my BMR at around 1100 calories, but I still feel suspicious. I don't need to know that I'll lose weight. But I do need to know that I won't gain weight (you know?).
I think my biggest issue is that because I'm so short, I obviously cannot eat very much. 1000 calories seems like "very much", especially since I'm used to low restricting (<500 calories a day). How can I break out of this mindset?
[Discussion] Any Marathoners/athletes on here?
/u/nyny2017 [5'7" | CW 122 | 19.1 | GW 112 🖤 | 🍑 tidylithe]
Created: Wed Dec 20 08:39:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l24qt/any_marathonersathletes_on_here/
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I am a runner. I just switched from no exercise/heavy restriction after I finished fall racing season to a planned 800-1400, depending on mileage, when my team started winter season after thanksgiving . But holy fuck I am out of control with binging, eating at night, oversleeping, missing work, eating at restaurants. I have gained 5lbs probably all fat since we started back. I can’t talk to my teammates about nutrition because everyone is like vegan and not insane and would not relate if i told them i was like buying Doritos and crying over it. I feel like such a fake because I know that serious and elite athletes have like such amazing nutrition and nevvvvver eat shit. I follow so many amazing thin muscley dancers and distance runners on IG and I have trouble imagining them stealing and eating their roommates Haagen daaz at 3am and then running to a bodega at 5:30am to replace it.
Please teach me how to get control of this i hate myself ☠️☠️☠️☠️💩💩💩💩💩
Anyone wanna be my fast buddy?
/u/Simplemind16
Created: Wed Dec 20 08:10:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l1y6t/anyone_wanna_be_my_fast_buddy/
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[removed]
[Discussion] What are songs that represent your ED?
/u/RedxLoaf [5'7" | 155lbs | 43lbs Lost | 24F]
Created: Wed Dec 20 07:59:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l1vmm/what_are_songs_that_represent_your_ed/
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I recently heard this piano version of Allie X's song ["Old Habits Die Hard"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5H_jj9PS74) and I just kept thinking about how the lyrics relate so much to my mental health problems.
Then there's La Dispute's ["A Letter"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iHm6-ecZZjQ) which is my all time ED classic lol.
Sometimes self-pity is funnn...
My favorite lyrics from "A Letter":
> Do I feel embarrassed about it? I think you know the answer to that. I think you'd probably feel a little bit embarrassed for me, wouldn't you?
>I know I should've moved on ages ago, been happy already, but it's never been that easy for me. Or maybe it was me that made it so hard.
>I know I've only ever tried a handful of times to sever this thing torturing me. It never got me anywhere, with anyone. No friendship or hobby, no lover's bed worked. But looking back I maybe never tried hard enough, and it is my fault.
What are yours?
[Advice] Lexapro (celexa, essitalopram, lexamil) experience
/u/cuzzlingpunt [5'5 | CW136 | 22.8 | GW128 | UGW121]
Created: Wed Dec 20 07:54:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l1us7/advice_lexapro_celexa_essitalopram_lexamil/
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Hello beautiful humans.
I've just started Lexapro (other names in the title) to help with resurgent OCD and GAD symptoms. Does anyone have any experience with this drug and weight gain? I am sick of feeling this constant sense of impending terror but I know that my weight is also a major source of anxiety, and I've been doing so well.
More context: I'm also on Wellbutrin and Lamictal
<3
[Rant/Rave] Little things that absolutely ruin your day 🙃
/u/ParanoidPancreas [5'11" | CW 150.2 | GW 148 | UGW 138 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 20 07:41:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l1ryx/little_things_that_absolutely_ruin_your_day/
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Even though I usually do it, my boyfriend decided to make our coffee before work this morning. I carefully explained the measurements yesterday on how to get the tastiest result, because it's a dark roast and it's pretty unforgiving.
So he carefully measured it out like I described and it turned out amazing!!!
LOL NOPE he just dumped a bunch in 🙃🙃🙃
It tastes like asphalt and I didn't have time to remake it so I had to add a bunch of water and like 100 calories of creamer to make it drinkable.
I feel like such a conceited bitch complaining about something so small but my coffee is the only thing I look forward to all day. I hate my job (and my life lol) and coffee is a small joy that makes both of these things more tolerable.
[Discussion] December 20th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 20 07:38:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l1rf7/december_20th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What is your dream vacation?
This was just posted in r/fatlogic. The comments to this post were all going on about how this isn’t possible.
/u/kein-08-15
Created: Wed Dec 20 06:58:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l1jap/this_was_just_posted_in_rfatlogic_the_comments_to/
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https://i.redd.it/vtkrsr9o23501.jpg
[Discussion] Underweight but haven't ever lost my period
/u/cloudy_gaze [5'3.5" | 94lbs | 16.4 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 20 06:49:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l1hhj/underweight_but_havent_ever_lost_my_period/
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My weight is pretty low right now and I've been <17.5 BMI for around 8 months. But I get my period like clockwork, just as heavy as when I was at a healthy weight.
Is having a period a sign that my health is decent despite being underweight? My hair has really thinned and continues to fall out, I feel cold almost constantly, and my energy level has decreased quite a bit. I'm also anemic.
I know amenorrhea was a requirement for an anorexia diagnosis until pretty recently, and the vast majority of anorexics lose their periods (or have them infrequently).
Just curious if anyone knows more about why this is, or has similar experiences with being underweight but having a normal menstrual cycle.
[Goal] Another Goal Weight🙌🏻
/u/throwaway002300 [25F | 5’3 | CW 102 | BMI 18 | GW ???]
Created: Wed Dec 20 06:33:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l1em3/another_goal_weight/
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This morning the scale showed 99lbs, which I immediately thought “no way, that’s wrong.” So I calibrated and got back on, still 99lbs. This is my lowest weight ever and the first time in my life that I’ve been under 100lbs
[Discussion] What's your exercise routine?
/u/organicmatcha
Created: Wed Dec 20 06:13:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l1ayr/whats_your_exercise_routine/
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I'm getting bored of walking and restricting is making me too weak to do squats. Anyone else have any routines they would like to share?
How do you get rid of the family voices in your head?
/u/Thecaretakerjohanna
Created: Wed Dec 20 05:53:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l17gj/how_do_you_get_rid_of_the_family_voices_in_your/
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So I grew up binge eating. I was born fat and comments from my family led me to this disorder. It was my way of coping, saying fuck you to them in a way. Grandma made dinner only for my brother because I wasn’t allowed food? Ha fuck you, I’m going to binge in secret. I was so so hungry. Dad called me fat? Fuck you, I’ll show you fat.
It just wasn’t good. So I would starve and binge, starve and binge.
I’m doing really well now, I’m eating the good old 1200 and I’m actually losing this time. I look good, I fit into medium :) I finally like myself.
But
I still keep hearing the comments.
These are my favourite triggers:
- I’m about 8/9 and checking myself out in the mirror. I felt really good that day. I felt small and beautiful. Mum comes over and says “you know you’d actually look really pretty if you’d lose that weight, it’s a shame.” Yeah. Looking in the mirror has never been the same.
- grandma sees me eating a burger for lunch, I’m about 10? She shakes her head and says “I’m not surprised that you’re getting so big”. Why are grandmas always so fuckin mean if you’re fat? She only likes me when I’m skinny:)
- brother just calling me fat every fuckin day, to everything I say to him he says “well at least I’m not fat”
- dad finds me in the kitchen making dinner in secret, three slices of bread after restricting. Got a lecture about the amount of food. “Do you ever look at yourself?? Do something about it!!” I was so scared. Ended up eating six slices.
I don’t even live with them now, hell I don’t even live in the same country anymore. I just hate that this still gets to me. I’m 22 and I feel pathetic that occasionally I still cry about things that were said to me more than 10 years ago and that they don’t even remember now. I’m just so sad sometimes
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! December 20, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Dec 20 05:12:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l10ln/daily_food_diary_december_20_2017/
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This is a daily food diary thread for December 20, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday December 20, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Dec 20 05:10:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l10cs/way_to_go_wednesday_december_20_2017/
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This is the weekly achievement thread for December 20, 2017.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Help] How much food weight/water weight should I take into consideration for my GW?
/u/figuredhood
Created: Wed Dec 20 05:01:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l0yxf/how_much_food_weightwater_weight_should_i_take/
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Hi guys I know water weight and food weight is inevitable but when you’re underweight, how much does it affect you?
I’m aiming for 105lbs at 5”5 so not terribly underweight.
But I’m so scared that eating lunch or breakfast will leave me bloated for the rest of the day, and I won’t be able to even fit my clothes. I hate to think that I only get to see my ribs and waist in the morning before I eat, then for the rest of the day I’ll look huge and bloated. Before when I hit my GW I binged it away before I had the chance to maintain. Though if I were to eat at my TDEE I still feel like it’s too much and won’t go away by morning.
Is one pound enough, or two?
This might be a stupid question but please help by sharing your experiences!!
[Help] Who was this girl in the THIN documentary?
/u/notagoodname_atall
Created: Wed Dec 20 04:28:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l0tq7/who_was_this_girl_in_the_thin_documentary/
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Who was the 28 year old who didn’t get her period? I just finished watching it and I’m wondering if she recovered or relapsed
[Help] Stress eating? Any tips?
/u/lamellashapes
Created: Wed Dec 20 03:54:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l0ope/stress_eating_any_tips/
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The only good thing about recovery is getting to poop every morning.
/u/bagelzboi [5'3 | CW: uhhhhhhhhh scale broke]
Created: Wed Dec 20 03:35:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l0lzg/the_only_good_thing_about_recovery_is_getting_to/
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The rest is very bad thanks
EC stacking: what do I do when it wears off at night?
/u/InterchangeableMoon
Created: Wed Dec 20 03:21:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l0k2t/ec_stacking_what_do_i_do_when_it_wears_off_at/
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(Edit: can't flair on mobile! Sorry!)
I've been EC stacking for a few days and it's honestly been pretty good. Except when it wears off. Then suddenly I'm ravenous and I cannot stop thinking about food. I'm considering picking up c/s as a method of coping with this but honestly it sounds gross to me. I don't want to take more ephedrine so close to bed since it's a stimulant but it's honestly so distracting to be so hungry after awhile. I don't really know what to do. But I'm almost always too weak willed to maintain my fast.
I eat while EC stacking but small, obligatory "safe" meals, where if I wasn't panic binging at the end of the night, would bring me pretty far under my budget.
Any ideas or tips?
[Discussion] does anyone “schedule” a binge into their week?
/u/mynameisasecret12
Created: Wed Dec 20 02:45:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l0ez2/does_anyone_schedule_a_binge_into_their_week/
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I’m toying with the idea of having one day every week or two that I allow myself to eat 1000-1200 calories to offset binge urges.
I’ve had really bad binge urges this week that have led to me snacking on small things and wasting my calories on calorie dense foods (I/e 5 tortilla chips for 78 cals or 20 fries for 200 cal) and it just wastes what I have saved calorie-wise for the day and I end up having to skip a planned meal or go to bed early or w/e to avoid urges.
I was wondering if anyone worked a “binge day” into their week and if it affected their weight loss at all? In y’alls opinions, what is worse- having a random uncontrollable binge every once in a while or having one day a week where you manage a high calorie day? And how does that affect the weight loss timeline? I wanna hear what y’all think.
[Other] In the kids movie “Babe,” there’s a line where the duck calls itself an “anorexic duck,” and there’s a song on the soundtrack called “Anorexic Duck.” What was the meaning/point of this?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 20 02:10:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7l0a4h/in_the_kids_movie_babe_theres_a_line_where_the/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Anyone else's ED & fear of pregnancy go oddly together?
/u/13959470 [5'4" | 109.4 | 18.8 | ~30 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 19 23:39:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kzod7/anyone_elses_ed_fear_of_pregnancy_go_oddly/
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Somehow my confused head feels that if I'm thin enough, I'll be able to be certain I'm not pregnant anytime by just looking at myself for reassurance, and also poss. simply be being too thin to be able to conceive , if that's even a thing. Not sure if my mind invented that or not.
I'll also use this post as an opportunity to vent that I ate nearly a whole baguette three hours ago and my stomach still hurts. My general anxiety is so bad right now that I feel like my lungs are only able to fill to 1/4 capacity even with my deepest breaths. Can't wait for Christmas to be over so I can go back to restricting ;_; and then maybe focus on eating better & exercising & taking care of my mental health?? I hope you are all doing ok tonight.
Obsessive compulsive invasive thoughts SUCK ASSSSSS
[Help] I feel like killing myself
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 19 23:27:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kzmcr/i_feel_like_killing_myself/
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[deleted]
I feel like killing myself
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 19 23:17:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kzknp/i_feel_like_killing_myself/
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[deleted]
[Help] Does ECA stop working?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 19 22:42:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kzecx/does_eca_stop_working/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Does anyone else restrict but eat like shit? I ate nothing but fried chicken and Halo Top today. Met my goal but wow I do not live well
/u/quoth_the_phoenix
Created: Tue Dec 19 22:40:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kzdzh/does_anyone_else_restrict_but_eat_like_shit_i_ate/
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1200 cal but I feel gross. Still I want to have fun Foods sometimes and not just live off vegetables and eggs
[Discussion] Liza Koshy underweight?
/u/anonymousalmondmilk
Created: Tue Dec 19 22:32:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kzcmw/liza_koshy_underweight/
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Sorry this is so weird lol. But I'm on YouTube a lot and obviously it's physically impossible to be on YouTube without stumbling across Liza Koshy.
I don't find her super funny because I'm pretty sure her target audience is 5th graders. But I am super fascinated by her weight loss and weight overall......she is short like me (a couple inches shorter than me at around 5'0"), and I'm desperate to know her weight
I went all the way back in her Instagram and saw how much more she used to weigh. She definitely appears borderline underweight to me now. But she could just be tiny?
Can anyone estimate her weight for me? I want to look like her so badly lol.....I'm nuts I hate me
Haven't purged in four months
/u/throwaway333061
Created: Tue Dec 19 22:23:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kzay0/havent_purged_in_four_months/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE: weird calorie logging quirk?
/u/squamouspuppies [5'9" | 25M]
Created: Tue Dec 19 22:04:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kz7c0/dae_weird_calorie_logging_quirk/
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Sorry for the vague title. I couldn't really come up with something succinct that got the point across.
Anyways...
So, I log my calories in a notebook, and when I log something, I log it under the day I ate it whether it's one in the morning or nine at night. I have days every once in a while where I binge or eat too much to track without getting embarrassed so I just write a big "X" over the page and give up logging for that specific day.
In a weird way, this makes me feel like I have more freedom to eat whatever I want since it won't be on the record, per se. So I just crammed some McDonald's and Oreos into the last twenty minutes of December 19th so I wouldn't have to write any of it in the page I have marked for the 20th.
I know this is really fucking weird and makes no sense in addition to being incredibly specific, but does anyone else out there do anything weird like this?
[Rant/Rave] Keeping up with recovery is so much harder than living with my eating disorder ever was
/u/doesthiseverend [5’7” | “in recovery” (fat) | F]
Created: Tue Dec 19 21:41:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kz31p/keeping_up_with_recovery_is_so_much_harder_than/
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Don’t get me wrong; some days are great. Some days, I can look in the mirror and feel okay about myself. Some days, I am proud of what I’ve accomplished, what I’ve overcome, and what I’ve set myself up to be able to do.
But some days, I feel lower than dirt. Some days, I can’t stand to see the evidence of my indulgence on my body, a physical manifestation of my shame, my failure. Some days, I claw at the flesh on my abdomen, my thighs, and my face. Some days, I feel nothing but revulsion and contempt for the corpulent glutton I’ve allowed myself to become.
These days, I find myself wondering why I keep trying. More and more, I catch myself indulging in the thoughts that used to make me feel safe. I’d gotten so good at shutting them down, but sometimes, I let my mind wander, and I remember a time when I felt powerful. Right or wrong, my choices were my own. I made the rules, and in following them, I led myself to my own twisted version of success. Paradoxically, I never felt more sane.
I can’t keep acting like recovery is making me happy. I’m lying to myself every time I say I’m satisfied with my body, and while I hesitate to say it was good enough when I was restricting, at least it was far less of a burden. Not having a scale only makes it worse; I have no sense of what is reality versus what is a product of my anxiety. Every day, I end up seeking validation from my boyfriend, that I haven’t become the fat monstrosity I see in the mirror. He’s been incredibly supportive, but it’s becoming painfully obvious that I’m burning him out. What I’m doing isn’t sustainable.
I swore I wouldn’t relapse again.
[Rant/Rave] DAE feel like when they're underweight good things magically happen?
/u/whatisthisshow2002 [5'2.5" | CW: 🐳 100lbs]
Created: Tue Dec 19 21:34:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kz1kk/dae_feel_like_when_theyre_underweight_good_things/
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Like I got down to almost 95 lbs a couple weeks ago (not sure how, I didn't even restrict that much) and that week I went away and met an awesome guy who actually listened to me and didn't take advantage of me and was like a honorary older brother. Then I came back home, gained 1.5 kilos and surprise surprise he stops talking to me. He doesn't even know I gained any weight but I feel like my weight's responsible for this. Does society really treat you better when you're underweight or am I just fucked in the head?
[Help] Skipped some meds accidentally leading to an awful binge. Now purging episodes.
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Tue Dec 19 21:10:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kyx8n/skipped_some_meds_accidentally_leading_to_an/
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On Friday I forgot to take my meds in the morning before work. I’m on so much I get bad symptoms even after missing a dose.
I start feeling like I am literally dying and just eat to “stay alive”. It’s a weird feeling, I have no idea.
Once I miss my meds it’s so hard to take them. I don’t know why but it starts to seem like the most heavy task to manage. Taking pills? I am worthless. I’m better now and on my meds but I ate too much and feel huge!
I purged last night and tonight’s dinner (boyfriend wAlked in on me fuck!!) to make sure I was okay. Good thing I had time to flush and wipe my face. He knows but I lied I think but can’t prove it.
I hate messing up. I feel like a failure and honestly just wAnt to die.
[Tip] Me yesterday: I should consider admitting I have a problem. Me now: TIL I can put MIO+electrolytes in the vodka I use to sleep through the hunger pangs. 👌💯
/u/dbt-girl [5'2" | 119 ]
Created: Tue Dec 19 20:15:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kym4o/me_yesterday_i_should_consider_admitting_i_have_a/
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It’s like a mixed drink without the mixed drink calories.
In all seriousness tho, I’ve hatched my New Years Eve plan: vodka+soda+trying not to get kicked out of the bar by putting mYsTeRiOuS bLuE dRoPs in my drink. Sounds like a good plan for social life disaster 🙂.
(*soda* is the bar way of saying “carbonated water” for all you underagers).
[Discussion] VICE: You may never fully recover from your eating disorder
/u/slayerfan420
Created: Tue Dec 19 19:22:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kyb3s/vice_you_may_never_fully_recover_from_your_eating/
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https://www.google.com.au/amp/s/tonic.vice.com/amp/en_us/article/d33bwv/you-may-not-ever-fully-recover-from-an-eating-disorder
[Discussion] Do any of you do sports with weight limits?
/u/athrwoaway123
Created: Tue Dec 19 19:08:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ky7yt/do_any_of_you_do_sports_with_weight_limits/
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I started doing sports again in the hope that it would motivate me eat more normally (so far it hasn't). In my infinite wisdom, I chose a sport with weight classes. Now I am living in fear of the coach or a teammate commenting on my weight or telling me I need to lose weight. I keep having these imaginary conversations in my head where I try to deflect and seem like I am someone who can diet without spinning out of control.
Do any of you do sports with weight limits? How do you manage?
[Rant/Rave] Frustrated about a binge
/u/BachelorOfFineDarts [18F | 5'9" | CW:132 | BMI: 19.14]
Created: Tue Dec 19 18:31:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kxzio/frustrated_about_a_binge/
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It’s kind of a long story, but coming home from university for Christmas has caused me a lot of anxiety. I just got home today. I’ve been restricting to less than 1000 calories a day (closer to 750 usually) for about 6 weeks now with the exception of one binge in the first weekend of December, after which I fasted for two days.
Because of my anxiety about being home for the holidays I started to drink on a near-empty stomach. Then, in my drunken brilliance, I decided it would be a great idea to weigh myself for the first time in over a month. Lo and behold I discovered that I had lost 6lbs and am underweight again. Finding out I’m underweight always sets off this weird conflict between pride and disgust within me that’s kind of hard to explain. This is doubly difficult for me because I’ve started to lean toward the idea of recovery after these hellish few weeks with restriction/my ED/my body.
Since I didn’t know how to deal with my anxiety about my weight and about being home, I started binging like crazy. I’ve consequently eaten 1400+ calories in the last 2 or 3 hours. My stomach feels huge and distended (such an inappropriate comparison, but the best way to describe it is that I lowkey look like one of those malnourished children in ads about famine relief, ya know? that kind of sore, swollen belly). I’m actually physically nauseous and in tears from this binge, soaking in my bathtub because the warmth seems to be helping a bit. Does anybody have any tips on how I could get some relief from my gross binge-induced discomfort or do I just have to ride it out like I usually do? I haven’t felt this disgusting or uncomfortable in so long so any little bits of advice on how to ease my discomfort would help me immensely right now
[Rant/Rave] Christmas is about to push me over the edge
/u/Dr0pDex [172cm | 45.3kg | 15.04]
Created: Tue Dec 19 18:27:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kxyk1/christmas_is_about_to_push_me_over_the_edge/
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On Thanksgiving we had one big meal. Simple enough. Life went on.
My mom wants to bake a special Christmas breakfast, a big meal on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, is constantly spitballing dessert ideas...kill me. It's time like this I wish I drank so maybe I'd be drunk enough to forget about it all when it's happening.
What are you guys' plans for dealing with the holidays?
I bought a cup of ramen noodles four days ago at a convenience store by my work
/u/nimmorz
Created: Tue Dec 19 17:49:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kxq2l/i_bought_a_cup_of_ramen_noodles_four_days_ago_at/
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[removed]
[Discussion] December 19th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 19 17:05:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kxfvm/december_19th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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If you could change one thing about today, what would it be?
[Rant/Rave] Do you eat when you're depressed?
/u/KissMySlitWrist [Moo]
Created: Tue Dec 19 16:28:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kx7po/do_you_eat_when_youre_depressed/
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Half food rant half other rant:
It's weird, depending on the type of depressed I am I either eat everything or nothing. My family just royally fucked up Christmas Eve, I'm not invited to dinner anymore because they didn't want to consider my partner's food allergies (legit, diagnosed by a doctor allergies) and my partner's work schedule. I'm really depressed and I feel so unwelcome so what do I do? Eat a whole tin of cookies. Now I feel like vomiting because holy shit that was like 1,200 in fucking cookies and I feel sick form the sugar.
[Tip] Splenda has calories !!!!!!!
/u/Canadascutestginger
Created: Tue Dec 19 16:18:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kx5c7/splenda_has_calories/
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I found this out last night and it freaked my out!! Turns out Splenda has about 3.4 cal per 2g package! They are able to label it as 0 cal because of a loophole is some of the fda regulations. So yeah Splenda actually has calories! Spread the word!
[Rant/Rave] Silent anxiety from a book...
/u/moncai-mama
Created: Tue Dec 19 16:17:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kx58e/silent_anxiety_from_a_book/
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This morning was great, I was ready to return from my 3 day weekend. I get to school and my friend shows me this book about ayurvedic diet and medicine. I am REALLY into that stuff and I try to live my life and base my diet on the things in an ayurvedic plant based diet.
This book opened up a whole new perspective of things I didnt know about what I should and shouldnt eat.
There are 3 body/mind types in Ayurveda (vata, pitta, and kapha. You can find out which one you are by just looking up the characteristics of each and taking a quiz. Super interesting ) and based on what type you are, there are guidelines on what kind of foods and activities you should do to live your best life.
As im reading the book, it basically gave an outline of a whole bunch of things Ive been eating, not eating, and doing to mess myself up physically and mentally. My heart was beating so fast and my muscles were so tense. So I have had a ton of anxiety all day just thinking about it.
Anxiety around food is so ridiculous yet so very present. Food is my biggest enemy I wish I could live in a world where it didnt exist or at least no one brought it around me. Im freaking tired of dealing with everyone pushing it in my face.
[Rant/Rave] Wtf is wrong with me??
/u/HarleyBabyxxx
Created: Tue Dec 19 15:54:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kwzm1/wtf_is_wrong_with_me/
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So I've eaten like 300ish calories today. About an hour ago I got up and was struggling to walk. I'm pretty sure it's vertigo, I started taking lamictal and that's a side effect. I thought at first I was dizzy because I hadn't eaten much today. I made a frozen Red Baron pizza so I had a slice and waited. Still felt horrible so I had another. And then a third just because I love pizza; it's one of only 2 things I will eat and will otherwise starve. I realized it was probably the medication so I had this huge flood of guilt (which started after the first slice).
I felt I had eaten more than my 800 limit. After doing the math I realize it's only about 700. My husband had just gotten home so I went outside and purged into a Walmart bag in the back of my minivan. It was partly for the calories but mostly for the shame of eating the pizza. I'm probably gonna water fast now.
Why am I such a wreck? I'm almost 30, I should have my shit together by now.
[Rant/Rave] Holiday Season
/u/bonitahermosura
Created: Tue Dec 19 15:54:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kwzjk/holiday_season/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Get your frustrations out!
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 57.1kg | BMI 18.86 |- 15kg | GW 52kg | 25F]
Created: Tue Dec 19 15:45:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kwxls/get_your_frustrations_out/
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What's pissing you off?
What's making you sad?
What's ruining your day?
What ruined your day?
Got something to rant about, I know I do! >:(
WTF or when SO doesn’t know how much pasta to cook
/u/2017HeyJude [1.59m | CW 47.7kg/105lb | GW 45kg/99lb | BMI 18.9]
Created: Tue Dec 19 15:25:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kwsx5/wtf_or_when_so_doesnt_know_how_much_pasta_to_cook/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Breakup making me crazy.
/u/nordic_alien [167cm | 130lbs | 22 | 20lbs | F]
Created: Tue Dec 19 14:35:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kwgp0/breakup_making_me_crazy/
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My intake is all over the place (some days drastically low, some days high/maintenance), I feel like I can barely pound out a session at the gym - I'm actually trying to gain muscle..... My ex keeps stalking my FB (looking at my stories), and I miss him terribly and don't feel like I can find someone I am that attracted to ever again. I keep thinking if I get super in shape he might change his mind, but what's the point in keeping someone around that only likes if you if you have a very specific body (big butt for instance)?
[Help] Contraceptive arm implant
/u/redelisd
Created: Tue Dec 19 14:07:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kw9nr/contraceptive_arm_implant/
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[removed]
[Help] Hello loves! Just got the contraceptive implant! Has anyone got it/know if it makes you lose/gain weight or have any advice on maintenance while it heals! - can already feel the mood swings as my hormones adjust 💔💔
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 19 14:06:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kw9j4/hello_loves_just_got_the_contraceptive_implant/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] My boss is driving me bonkers 🙃
/u/queenofflavortown [5'0"|CW 155lbs|HW 175|GW 120|F]
Created: Tue Dec 19 14:02:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kw8er/my_boss_is_driving_me_bonkers/
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(Sorry in advance for the wall of text)
So I decided to start my Tuesday ~healthily~ with some overnight oats. I packed em up for work, ate less than half at my desk, then around 11:30 I went to throw the rest away and clean up. When I got back to my desk, my (very nosy, busy body) boss was like “oh, someone’s having lunch early!” And I didn’t respond because I was like, who are they talking about? No one is eating. Then they was like, “hey did you hear me? Someone is having lunch early! You’re eating lunch early today.” Like 1) if I don’t respond, you don’t have to repeat it unless it’s important, and 2) why did you feel the need to repeat that useless sentence?? I just turned around in my chair and was like, “...no I’m not, I was just cleaning up from breakfast.” Idk why that rubbed me the wrong way so bad, but I’m still fuming about it. Why do people feel the need to comment on others eating habits??? I don’t turn around every time I hear them opening another bag of chips and say, “oh! Looks like someone’s having ANOTHER snack!”
Also...they’re the loudest eater on the planet, I think. And I have self-diagnosed misophonia (lol anyone else self-diagnose? :p) so every time I hear that chip bag open, I want to stab my eardrums before they get the unfortunate opportunity of listening to her chew with her mouth wide open. I’m surprised I don’t come home with cheezit crumbs in my hair from how wild she chews.
Anyway. Hope y’all are having a better Tuesday lol.
[Help] If you had $200 to spend of food (special stuff) that had to last you as long as possible, what would you buy?
/u/AnaBrideToBe
Created: Tue Dec 19 13:38:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kw2fn/if_you_had_200_to_spend_of_food_special_stuff/
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I have $200 that can only be spent on food this month, in addition to my normal food budget. I want to get some awesome stuff that'll last me awhile but I don't usually buy this kinnda stuff and am not sure what to buy. What kind of low calorie stuff do you guys like that's kinnda expensive? I have a nice store of normal food and a pretty steady (in theory) food budget. Ideas please? I'd just buy $200 of Halo top but my freezer is small hehe
[Rant/Rave] I wish I knew if something was going to make me want to fast or binge ahead of time...
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 147lb | 21.32 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 19 13:24:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kvyzj/i_wish_i_knew_if_something_was_going_to_make_me/
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Last year thing with my ex had gotten horrible, and it made me relapse with anorexia. This year I'm edge at work, I live in an apartment I share with 4 other people, can't afford to save much, and both of my partners dumped me within a week... and I can't stop eating. It's like I get into the privacy of my own room and my brain won't shut up about food. Why can't it be like last year?
[Help] How many lbs to lose a pant size?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 19 12:23:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kvjn8/how_many_lbs_to_lose_a_pant_size/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kvjn8/how_many_lbs_to_lose_a_pant_size/
[Rant/Rave] Fullness and jello
/u/2girly4me [5'6 | SW 145# | CW 135# | GW 120# | 20F]
Created: Tue Dec 19 12:09:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kvg6s/fullness_and_jello/
---
I just discovered sugar free jello! It's like 10 calories per cup. However, I've had a problem with feeling full for a long time. I almost always have felt full when eating sugar-filled stuff such as candy or baked goods, thus being over a 1000 calories.
Just now, I ate 2 cups of jello. To feel full from 2 cups but also knowing there's only 20 calories or so in my stomach is making me feel conflicted. Should I feel good? Should I feel guilty?
Anyone else have this dilemma?
[Rant/Rave] My dad is obsessed with my weight, and it kinda paid off today.
/u/caithaa [5'7 | 120 | 18.78 | 20F 🌼]
Created: Tue Dec 19 12:02:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kvebf/my_dad_is_obsessed_with_my_weight_and_it_kinda/
---
My dad is the biggest reason I developed an ED early on. I was overweight in elementary school, and he'd always insult me, sometimes slyly, like saying "She's always been bigger," or saying "Are you sure that'll fit/did you make sure to get a large," whenever I received clothes as gifts. He'd outright call me fat, and say "You'd be so much happier if you were thinner." If I had a falling out with a friend, or someone said something that hurt me, he always said it was because of my weight. It made me really insecure about everything, and led to a lot of these nasty daddy issues where my relationships have been really unhealthy with me always seeking validation even today.
After my ED developed and I lost about 40 pounds (and then went to inpatient at like 14), he started treating me so much better. He'd call me beautiful and always talk about my body, which thinking back at it was sick. My parents got a divorce before I left for college, and my relationship with him has kinda improved (to the point where we talk on the phone once or twice a month).
Today on the phone, I was telling him about how I was scared I'd gained weight over stress-eating during finals, and he freaked out. He actually validates my ED & commends me for it, so I can always tell him about my sick starvation methods and he'll approve or even get excited. He told me he could take me to a dietician when I came back home "so I wouldn't ruin my perfect body" (seriously, it sounds so sick when I write it down like this).
So now, I'm going to have a full access to a dietician and approval from my dad who is happy that I'm so unhealthily underweight. I know this entire relationship and the way he's acting is wrong, and if my mom heard about it she'd force me to cut all contact with him. Even one of the reasons for their divorce was my mom believing my weight issues were because of him.
Weird enough, I feel super happy. I'm going to be able to lose weight and even have someone help me with it... His messed up behavior and the way he has always treated me is kind of paying off, and I'm glad? I can't wait to go get my weight and fat/muscle ratio checked by a professional!! Ugh I'm sorry this is sort of embarrassing to write down but I kinda wanted to share it.
[Discussion] My interest is piqued. Anyone try this?
/u/quoth_the_phoenix
Created: Tue Dec 19 11:57:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kvd00/my_interest_is_piqued_anyone_try_this/
---
https://i.redd.it/iifzw3e0fx401.jpg
[Help] Does anyone ever binge on vegetables?
/u/sarajanebookish
Created: Tue Dec 19 11:34:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kv79s/does_anyone_ever_binge_on_vegetables/
---
This sounds so weird, but I have gotten into the habit of having HUGE vegetable binges. I really went all-out on Sunday - like a 3 pound bag of salad mix plus more vegetables. I woke up Monday feeling horrible and my stomach still hurt s today. Any tips on how to stop the binge????
[Rant/Rave] How do people spend time alone?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 19 11:30:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kv6c9/how_do_people_spend_time_alone/
---
Not entirely about EDs, but I'm home this week to see my family for the holidays and they've been mostly preoccupied with other things so I've been alone for most of the days. At first I was excited because it meant I could work out and not eat as much as I want to with nobody around to make triggering comments, but I don't know how people do it. As an extrovert it's driving me crazy to be alone so much and actually *driving* me to eat out of boredom.
Any advice?
[Other] Starburst & Coffee
/u/artful_heart [5'7.5 | CW 96.5 | GW1 95 | GW2 92 | UGW 88 | BMI 14.78 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 19 11:06:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kv0dv/starburst_coffee/
---
[removed]
[Help] I need some advice on how to handle a class party tomorrow!! helpppp
/u/desde-siempre [5'3" | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 26F]
Created: Tue Dec 19 09:39:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kuejo/i_need_some_advice_on_how_to_handle_a_class_party/
---
hello all!! i need some advice. i’m an assistant teacher and one of my teachers told me that there will be a class party tomorrow and one of the students will be bringing a bunch of sweet treats because his father owns a chocolatier...
i’ve been doing super well lately. like i completely avoided the sweets in the break room in between my classes, i’ve been ordering black coffee at the cafeteria instead of a cafe con leche, i’m stressing tf out because i know there will be pressure on me to eat the chocolates at the party and whatever else there will be. i imagine that if i turn it down, i’ll be looked at like a crazy person/taken as rude or something like that.
so how can i manage to get through this? what’s the best thing to do without destroying my progress and/or having a complete mental breakdown at work?
[Discussion] What’s the most weight you can put down to water weight?
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Tue Dec 19 09:31:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kuct7/whats_the_most_weight_you_can_put_down_to_water/
---
I can weigh under 100lbs most days and then go up a bunch even if i’ve been eating less&burning more calories than when i was <100
looking for an explication💖
[Rant/Rave] YES
/u/vctrlcs [5'6" | CW: 150.8 | UGW: 115 | BMI: 24.4 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 19 09:25:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kub4c/yes/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] well i fucked my life up
/u/101_honey [🌼5'1.5" / cw-2fat // wl-5bls// bmi-29 // gw-101]
Created: Tue Dec 19 09:22:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kuaj0/well_i_fucked_my_life_up/
---
great cool
im probs gonna get kicked out of school for being stupid and useless
i cant do anything right
im so tired of everything
im shit at everything
i keep yoyoing the same stupid 15 pounds
and it takes up so much time and ruins everything else
[Other] Wisdom teeth removal + lack of appetite
/u/gothqueeen [5’7 | 165.5 | F/20 | GW: 130]
Created: Tue Dec 19 08:43:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ku14h/wisdom_teeth_removal_lack_of_appetite/
---
My wisdom teeth removal was 12/15/17. I have had a very small appetite, eating just enough so the antibiotics/steroids don’t upset my stomach. I don’t even get hungry.
Is it weird that I love this though? No one is questioning me for once about my eating habits. I can go hours without eating and my parents don’t even mention it because it’s “normal after surgery to not have an appetite” apparently. It feels.... great. We don’t have a scale but I feel like I’ve dropped 5+ pounds.
Thank you, wisdom teeth removal surgery. 10/10 would recommend.
[Rant/Rave] I just moved in with my boyfriend and it's sinking in that I will never be able to binge again because I can't purge now.
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 138.2 | BMI 27 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26 F]
Created: Tue Dec 19 07:45:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kto6r/i_just_moved_in_with_my_boyfriend_and_its_sinking/
---
I have never been a habitual purger for long periods of time, only in bursts. I was at the point with AN about 5 years ago where I'd just purge anything- lettuce, an apple, coffee, whatever. When I don't have restrictive tendencies I do nothing but binge, and purging was extremely rare for me; I would only do it if I was in serious pain, so I'd just gain 20 pounds in a month and then restrict again because ha ha ha that's been my life since I was 12 years old.
I am at the point with this right now where it is unacceptable to me to binge without purging, so I just haven't been binging. I've eaten over maintenance but I have definitely not indulged in the 10,000 calorie bomb binges that I used to even a few months ago.
I just moved in on Saturday and it's just now dawning on me; I don't think I'll ever be able to binge again, because I will have to purge if I binge and we live in a STUDIO APARTMENT. He will 100% hear me and I've already had one instance with him on Thanksgiving where I literally told him I was going to purge and he had to restrain me and beg me not to purge so I just know that it's going to destroy him if I do.
So what the fuck do I do if I want to binge? Do I just need to accept that I can't binge at all anymore and just ignore the feelings of wanting to throw up when I go over maintenance? What am I supposed to do, 'go for a walk' and throw up into a bag somewhere? I miss pizza, I miss cheeseburgers, I miss food. Binging is my response to depression and I've been feeling super low lately and all I want is one good binge session. Just one. Just to fill the void. It feels like a hug from the inside and I miss that hug.
[Discussion] For those of you without an eating disorder what makes you come to ProEd?
/u/Chaiteathaichi
Created: Tue Dec 19 07:44:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kto0i/for_those_of_you_without_an_eating_disorder_what/
---
I personally only started coming here when my eating disorder was creeping back into my life. But I see a lot of comments from people who say they don’t have an eating disorder or who say they don’t have a full fledged eating disorder (though I’m not actually certain that really exists). I’m curious, what brings you here?
[Other] The monster in my stomach.
/u/xerox13ster [5'7" | 298.4 | Goal: 270 | 46.7 | 0 | F ]
Created: Tue Dec 19 06:27:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kt8i2/the_monster_in_my_stomach/
---
It was insatiable. I've been feeding it and it's been getting bigger and bigger. It consumed me. I am taking back control and starving it and it is mad. It's trying hurt me from the inside out. I can hear it growling and roaring at me. I'll throw it some scraps, sure, but it will begin to wither soon and it will be totally under my control.
One day I will tame it, rather than control it. But first I must break it.
[Discussion] [Discussion] DAE ever get the urge to sabotage the good things in your life to make more room for the ED ?
/u/pikapika350
Created: Tue Dec 19 05:49:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kt1u8/discussion_dae_ever_get_the_urge_to_sabotage_the/
---
My boyfriend is amazing. I love him and I could see marrying him later on in life. But part of my brain tells me to break up with him and be single and alone. If I'm single and alone then I can do whatever I want. I can starve for days and no one will be the wiser. I can live on my own and never buy food. That's half the reason I moved out in the first place - I had this lovely idea of having my own space, my own empty cupboards... I didn't account for the possibility that I would end up with someone who really cares about me. And part of me thinks that is a problem. I don't want to be apart from him but he cooks us food every day and takes care of me and he is an obstacle in my path to achieving my goal of not being fat and disgusting.
Just want to know if anyone else has any similar feelings or if I'm just a dick 🤔
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday December 19, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Dec 19 05:11:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ksvot/thinspo_tuesday_december_19_2017/
---
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! December 19, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Dec 19 05:10:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ksvo6/daily_food_diary_december_19_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 19, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] B/p consequences catching up with me
/u/Snowbae
Created: Tue Dec 19 03:38:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kshvf/bp_consequences_catching_up_with_me/
---
Just had a dentists appointment and my teeth are shite, I have to get like 4 fillings :( I’ve also been referred to the hospital because of some lumps in my mouth I’ve convinced myself are tumours :( just wanna curl up in a ball n cry. On the bright side it’s completely removed my appetite
Any member of skinny gossip here? Can I please get an invite?
/u/jenna_xxx
Created: Tue Dec 19 02:48:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ksasf/any_member_of_skinny_gossip_here_can_i_please_get/
---
[removed]
[Other] in class...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 19 02:19:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ks6ql/in_class/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ks6ql/in_class/
[Discussion] Do you ever regret talking about your ED?
/u/paraphrasis
Created: Tue Dec 19 02:07:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ks52o/do_you_ever_regret_talking_about_your_ed/
---
I was drinking with two of my really good friends yesterday. I had been awake since 4.20am, and all I had eaten all day was two cookies and 150g of yoghurt. So two glasses of red wine tipped me over. My friends know about my (former) eating disorder, and that I am still wacky about food, but I don't think they get it.
While contemplating another beer, I said that I probably needed to eat a bit before drinking more (why did I do this???), and then followed up with; "I've lost 4kg in 7 weeks, and my doctor is mad at me, and I feel really really conflicted. I already don't know how I look like, and now I'm really confused, and I just don't want to eat, but I also don't want to do this again and again".
Then they told me that "oh, that happens, I often lose weight in the end of the semester, that's normal!!" and "why don't you know what you look like? you're tall, your hair is red, your eyes are blue, you look good". And I appreciate that they try, but they just don't get it. I really tried to reach out, because I am conflicted about all this, and I want to lose weight, but I don't want to be sick. I never talk about this, and now I just really regret that I even mentioned it.
Anyone ever regret mentioning their eating disorder? I never really talk about it, and now I regret it.
Distraction
/u/aceshighsays [5'2" | C: 107.8 | -30.2 | F | G: 99]
Created: Tue Dec 19 02:04:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ks4lk/distraction/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Going home for the holidays
/u/DrunkenRidgeley [5'8 | 168 | 25.5 | -42 | Male]
Created: Tue Dec 19 01:35:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ks0rd/going_home_for_the_holidays/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] (Almost) choosing recovery
/u/sp_ceghost [5'7F | 129.6 | UGW 105 | -35lbs]
Created: Tue Dec 19 00:26:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7krr49/almost_choosing_recovery/
---
I think this is more of a rave, but I digress, I'm choosing recovery.
I'm relatively new to (posting to) the subreddit, but I've had an eating disorder for nearly 8 years. I was always skinny, I started off around 98lbs - I lost weight because people loved that I was skinny. I was an ugly, tomboyish kid. I didn't take care of myself (hygiene wise) because no one cared about me. I was bullied harshly in school, to the point of trying to commit suicide while on campus, but I could always count on one thing - they always told me how skinny I was. That was the only compliment I ever got. It was the only thing I was better at.
------ // I could only write this much before I realized I wasn't ready.
I was shaken by some deaths today and I was inspired to be happy, for a little while. I was going to say something like I've grown, and those people no longer have power over me. That I'm ready to live because I can't live the rest of my life like this. Life's too short. I was ready to enjoy everything, despite how I looked. That I didn't want to look like the other girls anyway. That I'm getting too old. That I'm beautiful. I was going to be unapologetically me. I was going to love myself. I was going to be healthy and eat and be beautiful inside and out and nobody could take that from me. I was going to be happy.
And then I remembered the taunting. I remembered the hours I've spent these past few days looking at thinspo and seeing how terrible I look. The wishing I were as pretty as them. Thinking about all of the sex I had 15lbs ago and sobbing because I'm still embarrassed. Hearing men call me "thick" for the first time. Looking at pictures of my fatter face, and pictures of my thinner, sick body. Worrying about my boyfriend. Having to be hot enough for my boyfriend, and I know how much he cares and wants me to eat, but that's irrelevant, because no matter how much he or anyone else tells me, it's never enough. I'm never hot enough because I'm not thin enough. Being the skinniest girl in the room is a survival mechanism. If I have nothing else, I can have that.
I'm weak, aren't I? I'll never be happy. There's no hope for me. I'll never be free.
[Rant/Rave] Friends That Are Thinner.
/u/shadiebhabie
Created: Mon Dec 18 23:55:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7krm9w/friends_that_are_thinner/
---
Why do my girlfriends call themselves fat in front of me?
They are both thin, one is basically body goals for me but they both talk about how they are fat. I am sick of it! Neither of them have ever hit above 140lbs and they're beautiful women with lots of strength too. Why do they do that? They say I'm not fat but call themselves fat? Stop it!
I have gotten to the point of calling them out. I try to make a joke of it, saying they're appropriating fat culture but seriously, wtf guys. Stop it, it literally makes me feel like I'm a piece of garbage. Thanks a lot.
EDIT: On mobile, not sure of how to flair via the app.
[Rant/Rave] Friend never even acknowledges my eating disorder.
/u/sogyosha
Created: Mon Dec 18 23:49:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7krlbj/friend_never_even_acknowledges_my_eating_disorder/
---
I have had the same best friend since early childhood. We hang out daily. But I've brought up that I'm struggling with an eating disorder a few times lately, sort of as explanations for certain things I've said/done that she asked about.
The problem is that once I bring it up, she goes silent/doesn't respond/ignores the text. I understand that it must be awkward for her and she may not know what to say, but it makes me feel unimportant. Anyway, since she's like the only one I can vent to and she doesn't want me to vent about my ED, then I'll just vent here.
This is why I don’t tell anyone about ed
/u/Hannah-Girl
Created: Mon Dec 18 23:47:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7krkzn/this_is_why_i_dont_tell_anyone_about_ed/
---
[removed]
Binged but then took this personal inspo pic [NSFW, sorry!]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 18 23:36:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7krj1y/binged_but_then_took_this_personal_inspo_pic_nsfw/
---
https://i.redd.it/96yxmdfrqt401.jpg
[Discussion] Does the hunger ever go away?
/u/PM-ME-CORGIS
Created: Mon Dec 18 23:25:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7krhfm/does_the_hunger_ever_go_away/
---
[removed]
[Thinspo] short male thinspo
/u/gross9876 [5' 3" | 122 | 🐳 | -24 Lost | Gender]
Created: Mon Dec 18 23:02:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7krdih/short_male_thinspo/
---
does it exist 😫 if you know of any lmk pls
(I'm not a girl, my flair doesn't say f but people still think I'm a girl kms)
[Help] Anyone have lasting edema after being "recovered"?
/u/riotpeach
Created: Mon Dec 18 22:23:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kr6qg/anyone_have_lasting_edema_after_being_recovered/
---
Anyone have lasting edema after being a normal weight?
Last year I restricted heavily for several months and was only eating one type of food, I also avoided salt/sodium. I started to develop really bad edema in my feet and legs, which eventually went away as my eating returned to normal.
Now I'm 20 kg heavier than I was at the start of the year. This edema won't go away. It's not the same as it was previously. Nowadays it comes and goes, whereas when I first started overeating it was more of a constant. Now I'll have it for a couple of weeks, then it'll disappear, only to then resurface at a later date.
I've tried the following, all have been unhelpful:
* Limiting carb intake
* Restricting fluid intake
* Fasting
* Eating only fats
* Both limiting and increasing sodium intake
[Rant/Rave] angry yelling
/u/sammythekitten [5'0" | 120lbs | 24.68 | more like weight gained | f]
Created: Mon Dec 18 21:13:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kqtiz/angry_yelling/
---
i just want to stop binging.
my husband bought pizza and breadsticks and it was the ultimate cheesy crust and it just led into an awful downward spiral including, but not limited to, a medium coffee ice cream with a bunch of oreos and chocolate chips and peanut butter smooshed in it, a medium smoothie from jamba juice, beef jerky, chicken dumplings with mashed potatoes and cheesy grits, two eggs with white toast and more grits and two large pancakes and a birthday cake milkshake, and thus, i just want 2 die rip me 🤙🏼🤙🏼
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend’s parents found out about us.
/u/fatandignored
Created: Mon Dec 18 20:34:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kqlsl/my_boyfriends_parents_found_out_about_us/
---
They saw my picture. They said I was too fat.
Well, guess this is more motivation...
It was 15 pounds ago but I don’t see a difference from that and now, so I should try harder.
It’s weird. I feel extremely hurt but also alright. Like I’ll be fine as long as I lose more.
[Rant/Rave] Shout out to everyone in the southern hemisphere this christmas
/u/325896471
Created: Mon Dec 18 20:29:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kqkpt/shout_out_to_everyone_in_the_southern_hemisphere/
---
Literally one of the most food orientated times of the year and the hottest aswell.
Who else has holiday plans directly after christmas? I don't know how I'm gonna manage to look good in the obligatory revealing af outfits at a 3 day music festival a week after all this oh lord
[Rant/Rave] I’m too small for my tightest belt, and I feel nothing but shame
/u/oneblueboot [5'8" | CW 135 lbs | GW 120 | 20.5 | 26 F]
Created: Mon Dec 18 19:49:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kqc9o/im_too_small_for_my_tightest_belt_and_i_feel/
---
Today I put on a dress I haven’t worn in a few weeks, and I wore the same belt with it that I always do. It’s a smaller belt meant to go around your waist, and the last time I wore it I could just about fasten it on the tightest hole and have it be a little snug.
Today I fastened it like normal and it practically hung around my hips. I poked another hole in it as close to the buckle as I could get it and tried again. I still had about an inch or two of extra space. The dress is baggy over my chest, it wrinkles at my shoulders.
This is what I fucking wanted, right? But I’m just angry. I’m so angry. I look in the mirror and I still hate what I see. I wake up every morning and I am overwhelmed with resentment and fury at everyone in my life for expecting me to be better than I am, and I’m so tired of remembering every day that it’s me who has the problem, I’m the one who needs to be more.
I’m so tired of being afraid all the time, afraid I’ll drop out of grad school, afraid I’ll put myself in the hospital, afraid that my boyfriend will finally get as sick of my shit as I am and leave me for somebody who’s healthy and whole.
I’m getting exactly what I thought I wanted, and none of it makes a difference. I’m thin, I’m getting thinner, and I’m still fucking miserable and sick.
[Other] Just realized what a wonderful (sarcasm) person I am.
/u/thegirlwhochanged [5'0 |CW 107.6| GW 102| UGW 95 | 21.4 | -6.4 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 18 19:46:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kqbqd/just_realized_what_a_wonderful_sarcasm_person_i_am/
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[removed]
[Other] At least my mums supportive of me having an ED, even if she doesn't know about it lmao (4kg is approx 8.8 pounds !!)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 18 19:27:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kq7kf/at_least_my_mums_supportive_of_me_having_an_ed/
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https://i.redd.it/kym4hxheis401.jpg
[Discussion] Scream out your frustrations - Holiday edition.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW: 142.2 | UGW 105 | 25/F]
Created: Mon Dec 18 19:26:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kq7g9/scream_out_your_frustrations_holiday_edition/
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I JUST WANT TO FAST UNTIL CHRISTMAS AND NOT FEEL LIKE A BLIMP ON CHRISTMAS MORNING.
LET ME BAKE ALL THESE COOKIES AND PIES BUT NO ONE WANTS THEM. PLEASE TAKE THEM.
MY CAT IS STILL MISSING AND I CAN'T STOP CRYING AND HE'S ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS AND ALL THE CHRISTMAS SONGS KEEP MAKING ME SAD AND LIFE ISN'T FAIR
I BAKED A GALETTE DE ROI AND IT TURNED OUT HORRIBLE AND I WASTED CALORIES
CAN I PLEASE SLEEP UNTIL NEW YEARS EVE
AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
[Rant/Rave] chosing b/p as a distraction from boredom (chronic boredom? haha sounds ridiculous, numbness without hope), dangerous game, alternatives? RAAMBLINGS, HELP!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 18 19:13:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kq4of/chosing_bp_as_a_distraction_from_boredom_chronic/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I’m feeling so hopeless
/u/Idunnoking [5’1 | CW98.8| GW95 | 16F✨]
Created: Mon Dec 18 19:12:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kq4fp/im_feeling_so_hopeless/
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I tried to tell myself I could fix my eating and I’ve been trying so hard but I’ve been restricting to under 1000 calories even while trying to recover and I’ve been an absolute wreck because I’m so tired all the time and I know part of me is upset that I’m down to 93 lbs but the other part of me wants to get down to 89lbs and I just feel like I’m spiralling out of control...not to mention I’m falling behind in school work because I’m exhausted and can’t focus and the holidays are coming up and I’m scared people are going to notice that I look different and I don’t know what’s worse : my grades getting fucked up cause I’m stubborn or admitting I may have a problem to an adult
Also I accidentally triggered my friend into a relapse and I love her sm and she reassured me that she knew i didn’t do it on purpose but fuck :(
Ugh
[Discussion] Anyone here legit fat who has a romantic partner?
/u/SpaceWhale88 [Height 5'3 | CW 180ish | HW/LW 197/118lbs | GW 136]
Created: Mon Dec 18 19:05:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kq301/anyone_here_legit_fat_who_has_a_romantic_partner/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] DAE binge heavily before weigh-in day ???
/u/XXXena_moon [5'3 | CW: 170.2 lbs | GW: 150 lbs | UGW: 125 lbs | NB]
Created: Mon Dec 18 18:52:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kq04i/dae_binge_heavily_before_weighin_day/
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i try to weigh myself every 10 days or so as to not get *too* obsessed with the number on the scale and also to give myself a chance to lose a decent amount in-between weigh-ins. today was supposed to be my weigh-in day but i binged on taco Bell a few days ago and went 1300 cals over my daily goal (i try to stay under 1200). and yesterday i did two separate gift exchanges with my friends and there were Christmas cookies and recees trees present, so OBVIOUSLY i had to partake (lmao, self control ?? sorry, i don't know her...). basically, i'm just wondering what i should do ? i'm scared that if i weigh myself tonight or first thing tomorrow i'm not gonna like what i see and I'll end up in a downward bingeing spiral because like, why even try anymore if i already gained it all back i might as well just say fuck it and eat whatever i want blah blah blah........... idk man. i'm just disappointed in myself. i usually save my binges for AFTER weigh-in day as a reward for losing, but i feel like i just fucked myself over. and now Christmas is in a week and i'm going back home to my parents and there's gonna be an abundance of food and drinks and if i don't participate it'll look sus and i'm already the weird eccentric token family queer so i don't want to draw any more attention to myself considering i'll probably be getting a lot of questions to begin with lol. i originally flared this as help and then as discussion but now i feel like this is kind of a rant lmao but I'd still like some input on y'all's individual experiences with this ?? because idk ???? what ?????? to do ????????????? ☹️
[Discussion] Currently have a lot for free time for social gatherings and yummy food. Should I purge? Over exercise? Or restrict when I’m alone?
/u/fillebonbon
Created: Mon Dec 18 18:49:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kpznz/currently_have_a_lot_for_free_time_for_social/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Rant: upset because I can’t purge
/u/phoenixxxskeleton
Created: Mon Dec 18 18:49:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kpzij/rant_upset_because_i_cant_purge/
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I am finally skinny to the point where people notice and sometimes worry. I have to buy the smallest size at every store and sometimes it’s still too large and baggy. I feel happy, but so exhausted. My boyfriend loves me losing weight... He loves the look of a thin girl and he would probably love for me to lose even more. He loves to rest his hand on my hip bone or feel my ribs and spine on my back.
It’s all so great. I feel thin for once in my life but it’s so much work to maintain.
And I fucked it all up. I ate so much food today. I look HUGE. My stomach is just so fucking disgusting looking.
And I can’t purge. I just sit there gagging forever with my fingers and toothbrush all covered in slobber.
Idk what to do. I feel like a fucking failure. I was losing so much... I was so close this time.
Being thin is the absolute most important thing to me. If I can’t be thin and beautiful then honestly nothing else matters in my life.
[Help] this week looks to have a 72 hour fast opportunity...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 18 18:37:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kpx3i/this_week_looks_to_have_a_72_hour_fast_opportunity/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] DAE study nutrition or dietetics in college/university?
/u/iheartlemons [5'1" | 92.8lb | 17.5BMI | 27F]
Created: Mon Dec 18 18:37:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kpx12/dae_study_nutrition_or_dietetics_in/
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If so, did your ED cause you to take that path, or the other way around? I was definitely driven to study nutrition so I could learn exactly how food becomes fat and the "best" way to avoid it. Also, having graduated with a degree in Dietetics, I hate it when friends or doctors try to get me to see a nutritionist/dietitian. I feel like I already know how I should be eating, I just choose not to eat healthily. Was wondering if anyone here is in the same boat.
[Discussion] Chocolate means nothing to me now
/u/Sisi21cent
Created: Mon Dec 18 18:20:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kptix/chocolate_means_nothing_to_me_now/
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Hello everyone! It's my first time posting here though I'm an avid reader. Seriously this community means a lot to me. Anyway...just came here to say that I just tried two pieces of one of my previous favorite chocolate. Yesterday my mom gave me one ferrero rocher and I honestly didn't want to repeat.
Two-three years ago this episode would have never happened. Even though I always tried to restrict, I craved chocolate like mad. Not pizza, not pasta, not burgers, not fries, not other sorts of candies, nothing. Just chocolate.
I guess all these months of not eating anything sweet at all (even fruit) resulted in this sort of apathy towards chocolate.
To be fair I make myself eat these days just to regain some energy. My hunger cues are long gone.
Has anyone been through something similar? I mean towards chocolate in specific! It's so weird to me. I was looking forward to binging on my bday (in two days) and xmas, but now I'm like...hell no. Does nothing for me.
Things my boyfriend says
/u/ISetMyGnomesOnFire
Created: Mon Dec 18 18:04:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kpq3q/things_my_boyfriend_says/
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[removed]
[Help] Calorie estimate ?
/u/Idunnoking [5’1 | CW98.8| GW95 | 16F✨]
Created: Mon Dec 18 17:42:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kpl7v/calorie_estimate/
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https://i.redd.it/2xpiu00mzr401.jpg
[Tip] Found on google
/u/moncai-mama
Created: Mon Dec 18 17:31:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kpivs/found_on_google/
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https://i.redd.it/bmga976oxr401.jpg
I love this song 😂
/u/3sm3b3ll
Created: Mon Dec 18 17:18:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kpg45/i_love_this_song/
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https://i.redd.it/rx2qwgaevr401.jpg
[Help] Chocolate mono?
/u/cammie5
Created: Mon Dec 18 17:07:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kpdhq/chocolate_mono/
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[removed]
I love this song 😂
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 18 17:04:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kpcv9/i_love_this_song/
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https://i.redd.it/uv4lh8ousr401.jpg
[Discussion] Anyone else only have negative experiences with OA?
/u/UnrecoverableFuss [5'4 | GW 115 | CW 161 | HW/LW 198/98 | 28F]
Created: Mon Dec 18 16:54:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kpaof/anyone_else_only_have_negative_experiences_with_oa/
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I'm surprised how many positive comments I see about OA here. I went to a few AA meetings with a former partner, and I found them comforting and thought it might be nice to have a supportive environment where I didn't have to hide my ED.
Holy hell was it not at all like that. I tried two different groups and both were full of overweight housewives going on and on about how great it felt to lose weight and how empowered they felt when they forgot to eat for the first time, etc...triggering af. I was slightly underweight at the time and, totally unlike AA, people were cold to me and no one approached me after the meeting (jealousy?!). Both were like cliquey WW meetings. In fact, remove the telltale 12-step jargon and you could have convinced me it was WW.
Anyone else have weird/bad experiences with OA?
[Help] Maintenance
/u/SwedishKaiser
Created: Mon Dec 18 16:44:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kp8fj/maintenance/
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I was wondering what number of calories you all eat when maintaining/what you consider your maintenence to be.
I am 173cm and 45 kilos and no matter how much reassurance I get from various BMR and TDEE estimators online, which appear to be consistent, and great reassurance and support from my S/O who knows what he is talking about, I can't seem to accept into my thick head that at my sedentary activity level, I must be eating 1500-1600 calories to maintain my current weight.
It just seems like so much food to me. But I cannot keep escaping the reality of maintenence any longer.
So I was thinking what you all eat, at various heights and weights, to maintain.
Bring me some sanity Pls 👏 I love u guys
[Rant/Rave] IF/CICO/OMAD/KETO
/u/mibunnie [5'2" | F | CW:175 | GW:115 ]
Created: Mon Dec 18 16:42:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kp856/ifcicoomadketo/
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I tell myself I am doing a combo of each of these things. (Intermittent fasting/calories IN calories Out/one meal a day/ketogenics)
It makes me feel better. Makes me feel like I am not messed up or sick.
I’m not “starving” myself, just waiting for my hourly window to eat. But OOPS. Forgot to eat. Too late oh well...
[Rant/Rave] No one is noticing my weight loss :/
/u/Brizyse
Created: Mon Dec 18 16:31:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kp5ju/no_one_is_noticing_my_weight_loss/
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Edit: I'm on mobile so I can't add a flair rn I'm sorry!!
So I recently lost 11lbs in a very short time and although I can see and feel the affects, no one else really can.i know I shouldn't care because it makes me happy knowing I lost so much within two weeks, but I really care about others opinions of me and it's kind of discouraging that not one person in my family or group of friends has noticed. I'm trying to keep in mind that when you see someone everyday, you don't notice the small changes. But damn! How discouraging! Have you guys experienced this, or am I being unreasonable? How do you get over it lol? I'm definitely not done losing, but it would be nice to have someone appreciate my progress, especially since I'm very observant and I notice and comment on small changes in my loved ones :/
[Discussion] When did you realise you had a problem?
/u/pinkmonacle
Created: Mon Dec 18 16:15:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kp203/when_did_you_realise_you_had_a_problem/
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Lurker here. Just discovered this subreddit. Concerned my obsession with food and my body is approaching full blown ED territory.
I've always had body image issues but I feel like it's starting to really spiral out of control. Never had such persistent and constant anxiety over food and my body. It's getting exhausting and stressful. When did you realise you needed to get help??
Apologies for the formatting, typing on my phone.
[Discussion] What is your ED "story"?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 18 15:42:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kou2v/what_is_your_ed_story/
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[deleted]
[Help] Can't go to school after a binge
/u/chapday
Created: Mon Dec 18 15:36:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kosp4/cant_go_to_school_after_a_binge/
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Most days I will "binge" at night because I don't eat breakfast or lunch so I am really hungry when I come home. But this last few months my body dysmorphia has gotten really bad, and I can't go to school if I felt like I ate to much or haven't exercised it off..They called me in and said I risked losing my study support if I don't go to school, it was getting better during november but now I can barely go to the gym because I don't want people to see how bloated and disgusting I am. I just really want to die, life is not worth it.
What would you do?
[Rant/Rave] sister called me fat
/u/vctrlcs [5'6" | CW: 152 | UGW: 115 | BMI: 24.6 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 18 15:11:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7komf2/sister_called_me_fat/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] Ruby rose weight guess?
/u/Clev3rgirl84
Created: Mon Dec 18 15:04:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7koksu/ruby_rose_weight_guess/
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https://i.redd.it/6oe1gukh7r401.jpg
[Help] No OTC ephedrine in Oregon?
/u/peachpuss [5'7" | 147 lbs | 23 | ~43 | female]
Created: Mon Dec 18 14:54:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7koi9z/no_otc_ephedrine_in_oregon/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Been "recovered" for almost three years now.
/u/oafmeal
Created: Mon Dec 18 14:51:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kohqi/been_recovered_for_almost_three_years_now/
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I hardly go on eating disorder forums or anything anymore but the other day I came on here and have been addictively reading everyone's posts.
I do still have an eating disorder but am what I consider recovered. I have been for years now but I'm still obsessed with counting calories. I've been counting my calories every day for the past seven years and I don't think I will ever stop. I'm obsessed with eating low calorie foods so I can eat what feels like more then what I am. I'm always worried about what I eat but always eat my safe foods. I enjoy my safe foods and I know they have enough of what I need to be healthy and have energy. I'm still obsessed with working out every single day and always worried about gaining weight. I'm comfortable at the weight I'm at now but I would lose my shit If I gained more... yuck.
Anyway, I feel like an outsider amongst everyone around me. They all eat disgustingly and as much as they want. I'll never be like that because of my eating disorder but at the same time I'm still healthy for the most part and eat enough calories for my recommended amount. Although sometimes I'm not sure I'm eating enough for the amount I work out.
Sorry for the ramble and I'm not sure if this is allowed to be posted here?
But anyway, hi guys.
[Other] Totally unrelated, but we all could use some distraction here and there..
/u/irrevocably_damaged
Created: Mon Dec 18 14:33:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kod97/totally_unrelated_but_we_all_could_use_some/
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I wanna know what you guys and gals listen to! What songs would you put in your top 5?
Mine would be (in no particular order):
1. K.Flay- High Enough
2. The Killers- Mr.Brightside
3. Passion Pit- Sleepyhead
4. Cage the Elephant- Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked
5. Arctic Monkeys- Do I Wanna Know?
[Help] Cramps after eating?
/u/c_marier [5'6"| 110.2 17.8 | 23F]
Created: Mon Dec 18 14:30:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kocn3/cramps_after_eating/
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I've been consolidating all of my calories for the day into when I get home from work in the evenings so that it'll look like I'm eating a decent amount. But fasting all day on carbonated water, coffee, and diet coke has been resulting in stabbing cramps at night when I finally do eat my one meal. Any advice?? It's been really easy to avoid eating all day and a great solution for me to stick to the one meal, so I don't want to spread my calories out again, but this physically hurts and makes it hard to work out in the evening or do anything really, other than nurse a hot pad to my stomach :(
Any thoughts??
[Rant/Rave] I'm feeling targeted. 👀 How do they know?!
/u/AnaTroi [5'9" | CW: 🐷 | UGW: 120]
Created: Mon Dec 18 14:29:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kocfl/im_feeling_targeted_how_do_they_know/
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https://i.redd.it/0zi9xdfa1r401.jpg
[Discussion] How often do you throw away food?
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Mon Dec 18 14:22:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7koake/how_often_do_you_throw_away_food/
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I’ll often have meals or new foods I’ve bought but don’t really like. They aren’t awful but not worth wasting calories on but I know if I keep them around I’ll just end up fitting them into my calorie limit and not get to eat other foods I like better so I just toss them. It’s wasteful but a sunk cost and I rather not eat that cheese I don’t even like just because it’s there. I also often secretly hope food sucks so I can justify getting rid of it.
[Help] Want to stop chewing and spitting
/u/OutOfControlAnon
Created: Mon Dec 18 14:21:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7koahk/want_to_stop_chewing_and_spitting/
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I started c/s a year ago and it was ok. It helped curb binges and considering I was never able/comfortable with purging (puking is just something that bothers me a lot because of past trauma, but another story for another time) so it worked for me. But I've definitely reached a point where it's taken over too much of my life. I'm wasting so much money and so much of my time, literally hours each day. I've found it usually starts in the afternoon, and it gets bad if I'm bored or stressed. I'm just looking for tips on how to stop. It feels like my only alternative is to really develop self control, and I just don't know where to begin. Any/all advice is welcome
[Rant/Rave] Really proud of this!
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Mon Dec 18 14:20:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7koa6e/really_proud_of_this/
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https://i.redd.it/txrrsgxmzq401.jpg
[Rant/Rave] man i love people
/u/jiangguo [5'7" | CW 125 | BMI 19.5 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 18 14:11:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ko7zy/man_i_love_people/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Experience with just meal replacements?
/u/HarleyBabyxxx
Created: Mon Dec 18 14:04:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ko665/experience_with_just_meal_replacements/
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Over the past month or so I've really begun to lose interest in food. Everything I used to love and crave just doesn't do it for me and I end up regretting it. I feel a little queezy and get this lump in my throat when I keep eating something I don't want. When I get a craving for something and eat it, I feel nothing and get angry for being so disappointed. That happened this morning when I ate my all-time favorite food. I'm not depressed.
I love vanilla drinks like ensure and slimfast. Has anybody consumed things like that exclusively for an extended period of time (like more than a week)? How did you feel? BMs? Did you still have a lot of energy? Nauseus?
[Rant/Rave] I will know I'm thin when...
/u/teeny-tiny_throwaway [5'2 | 125 | 23.68 | -60lbs | F]
Created: Mon Dec 18 13:47:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ko20b/i_will_know_im_thin_when/
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I start to feel cold at reasonable times. I'm not even asking for all the time. Just reasonable times.
In other news, I'm currently chilling (pun intended) at my boyfriend's house, the thermostat is set for 64 degrees, and I'm wearing pants and a tee-shirt that hangs off my shoulder. I suppose I should be happy that I'm feeling pretty comfortable, but I'm also just a little disappointed in myself.
[Tip] What 200 calories looks like in various foods
/u/littlecorpse
Created: Mon Dec 18 13:39:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ko01m/what_200_calories_looks_like_in_various_foods/
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https://imgur.com/a/w9nHF
[Other] I don’t think it’s real
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'3"|115|X|X|F]
Created: Mon Dec 18 13:26:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7knwtq/i_dont_think_its_real/
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I don’t think my depression or eating disorder is real or serious enough
I feel like a fraud. My labs are normal and they will always be normal
My genetic testing will prob be normal too
No one help me
I feel so fake
I want to deteriorate
[Discussion] We did ignorant...What is the most sensitive/kindest thing someone has ever said to you in response to your ED?
/u/silverkel
Created: Mon Dec 18 12:53:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7knoh0/we_did_ignorantwhat_is_the_most_sensitivekindest/
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"You'd still be beautiful if you gained 20 lbs" - not true but it was nice to hear at the time :)
[Discussion] Getting a tooth pulled...
/u/squishysponges [19F|5'5"|GW108]
Created: Mon Dec 18 12:45:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7knmgf/getting_a_tooth_pulled/
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...which means its the perfect time for a liquid fast! anybody else excited for things like that? thankfully my tooth isnt rotted or anything its just growing weird, but this is such a good excuse to just be drinking water and juice calories.
[Rant/Rave] dae get triggered by positive things?
/u/lowkeydeadinside [5'6" | cw: 125 | ugw: 98 | 17F | 🍑: starvingprincess]
Created: Mon Dec 18 12:32:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7knjcd/dae_get_triggered_by_positive_things/
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i matched with this hella cute guy on tinder, he’s 18 and goes to university in my city. he’s going home for break but we’ve been snapchatting and he keeps calling me beautiful and we have plans to meet up when he gets back after the holidays. this is good right?? wrong. i’m at the highest weight i’ve ever been (i weighed in at 140 lbs a few weeks ago and i’m absolutely terrified to weigh myself but i’m sure i’ve gained) and i absolutely will not meet him looking like this. so basically i have probably a little under a month to lose as much weight as i can so i can actually meet his expectations of being beautiful. so my christmas break will consist of lots of running and eating as little as i can 🙃
tl;dr - matched with a cute guy on tinder and meeting him after break but i’m too fat and now i desperately need to lose as much as i can
[Rant/Rave] Mothers!
/u/light_as_a_feather04 [5'6 | 106 | 17.0 | GW: 98| 34/F]
Created: Mon Dec 18 12:25:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7knhp4/mothers/
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Not entirely ED related but it’s triggering the fuck out of me right now. On Saturday, I went to a get together of Long-time family friends. One of my friends wife’s finally pregnant after trying for a bit and having endometriosis. Of course we were all happy for her because they’ve wanted this for so long. My mom knows about my infertility- she’s the only one. My mother’s friend came up to me, wasted, hugged me close and told me that she was never able to have children either and I shouldn’t be sad about it or let it get me down.... I am so irritated at my mom for telling her friend this information. It’s very personal to me and now I kind of feel betrayed. Ugh. I binged and purged about 6 times over the last two days. I’m so miserable.
[Other] Asked a simple question, got a simple answer
/u/dbt-girl [5'2" | 119 ]
Created: Mon Dec 18 12:10:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kndxo/asked_a_simple_question_got_a_simple_answer/
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https://i.redd.it/q77xzxticq401.jpg
[Discussion] What apps do you all use?
/u/mazzy___ [5'9" | 150 | 21.75 | GW: 120 | UGW: 110]
Created: Mon Dec 18 11:50:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kn8tr/what_apps_do_you_all_use/
---
I know a lot of people use calorie counters like my fitness pal. I also use happy scale now to keep track of trends in my weight. I think it's helping me not go so crazy seeing fluctuations in my weight everyday. I'm just curious what other apps you all use?
[Discussion] Not ED related but,
/u/tattoosandcoffeee [5'3.75 | CW 138| GW 100 | -21]
Created: Mon Dec 18 11:31:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kn45u/not_ed_related_but/
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Did anyone else freak out on turning 30? Tomorrow is my bday and I have so many emotions right now and fears all at once. I feel like my head is going to explode. No one else seems to care and thinks its no big deal. I wish I could say getting older means figuring your shit out, but I feel quite the opposite right now.
[Rant/Rave] MFW I come home from work at 1 a.m. and blow all the day's 900 calories in one go:
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 18 11:16:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kn0e6/mfw_i_come_home_from_work_at_1_am_and_blow_all/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Holidays?
/u/KawaiiFirefly [5'5 | CW180lbs | BMI 30 |GW 130 | 20F]
Created: Mon Dec 18 11:16:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kn08i/holidays/
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Christmas will be my first holiday back home since I started properly restricting.
I don't want to start anything with my family, but I don't want to loose track of my cal/overeat.
Does anyone have any suggestions?
Its a lot of anxiety for me.
I usually just let myself have a holiday for a bit but last time it took me months to go back to just restricting, because after the holidays I tried and just ended up binging/purging.
It was a huge step back.
[Goal] [goal] I finally broke the 150's!!! It works you guys :)
/u/mynormalheart [5' 3" | CW: Tub of lard | GW: 120]
Created: Mon Dec 18 11:14:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kmzpu/goal_i_finally_broke_the_150s_it_works_you_guys/
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I can't believe it! I started at almost 180lbs three months ago. But for the last month I haven't lost a single pound. On top of that I've been struggling with the holidays and shark week and feeling like a fat pig cheater, but I stepped in the scale this morning and was 158! I haven't been in the 150's in 5 years, and gah I'm so happy! It works!
[Rant/Rave] I’m lonely af but I don’t think I could date anyone until I’m skinny
/u/organicmatcha
Created: Mon Dec 18 10:58:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kmvqt/im_lonely_af_but_i_dont_think_i_could_date_anyone/
---
I hate being told by others “you could get anyone you want” or “I can’t believe that you’re single” or “you’re just being picky” when it’s literally not even that. Its just I hate being insecure in relationships because it also affects the other person. I also have this thing where if his ex was perfect and skinny and just the full package deal, then I don’t want to feel like the downgrade.
But the loneliness hit hard last night. Last night I went to get coffee downtown (currently restricting) and I was standing next to this couple, and they looked a bit around my age. The girl was super tiny and petite. And they weren’t being annoying or anything, no PDA, it just looked Like they were enjoying each other’s company. All of a sudden, he kisses her on the forehead. She’s like foot shorter than him and it was the cutest, unexpected thing I’ve ever seen. He looked like he truly loved her.
I lost my appetite and didn’t even want coffee anymore. I got depressed walking home. There’s this side guy I’m talking to but he was just being horny and selfish that I just put my phone on silent because he just wanted me to get him off.
At least now when I feel like the urge to eat, I can just think about his moment and realize I’ll never have that until I’m skinny.
[Rant/Rave] Again?!
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 58.8 kg | -24.7 kg | 22F]
Created: Mon Dec 18 10:56:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kmva9/again/
---
I somehow manage these days to constantly be over my TDEE or just slightly beneath it. Yesterday it was coffee, bananas and a shit ton of cookies which put me at almost 2000 cals and today I had 4 big whole wheat buns (with pumpkin seeds in and on top of them) and a banana. Well at least no junk today right? But I'm still waaaaaaaay over 1200 cals.
EDIT: NVM I'm over my TDEE again...
I do feel bad but it could be worse, I try to concentrate on being happy because my stitches got removed and I didn't eat any sweets (yet).
That's my rant for today, you all doing ok?
[Rant/Rave] O no, I saw a board in my school about an app called Nutrislice.
/u/IsAFailure [M 5'6 | CW: 118lbs | GW: Whatever it takes to like what I see]
Created: Mon Dec 18 10:44:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kmsd8/o_no_i_saw_a_board_in_my_school_about_an_app/
---
It's an app made by Chartwells (the provider for a lot of schools' food) and it tells me the nutrition info for every food in my school.
I initially just used whatever MyFitnessPal told me the nutrition info for "School *insert food here*," is but now I'm on a whole other level.
It's a shame I just found this now when I'm graduating very soon. Such a good app.
[Discussion] how do you measure your thigh gap?
/u/grape_fruits [5'3.5" | CW 102.6 lbs | 19F]
Created: Mon Dec 18 10:10:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kmk03/how_do_you_measure_your_thigh_gap/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I couldnt purge last night and I'm still pissed
/u/SpaceWhale88 [Height 5'3 | CW 180ish | HW/LW 197/118lbs | GW 136]
Created: Mon Dec 18 09:57:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kmgk5/i_couldnt_purge_last_night_and_im_still_pissed/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Office Holiday Party
/u/ISetMyGnomesOnFire
Created: Mon Dec 18 09:26:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7km936/office_holiday_party/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
/u/RemtheCat [5’5” | 127.4 lbs | BMI 21 | -20 lbs | F | GW 108 | UGW 98]
Created: Mon Dec 18 09:02:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7km37u/ツ/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Told my coworkers I'm vegan so I'm not pressured to eat
/u/HarleyBabyxxx
Created: Mon Dec 18 08:48:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7klzyo/told_my_coworkers_im_vegan_so_im_not_pressured_to/
---
I eat vegan 80% of the time so it's not like I'm telling a full on lie. I eat ground beef like once a month and could easily stop, and the only dairy I consume is cheese and milk with my slimfast. I'm trying to go vegan for a variety of reasons, and part of it is my eating disorder. Well anyways...
So I recently got a job at Popeye's and we get a free meal when we work. My boss asked me what I want and I told her "oh no thank you, I'm alright" but her and a coworker kept pushing saying I must be hungry and I should eat something. I kept politely telling them no, that I ate before I came (it was only a 5.5 hour shift) but they still persisted. So I told them I'm vegan and they realized there's nothing there but corn that I can eat 🤣 I was debating for a few days whether or not I should say that and my ED won lol! It's a huge relief to not feel that pressure.
I have this thing with asking for food, especially free, and I just get really anxious and can't handle it. It almost feels shameful to ask for food. It's a little easier when it's offered, which they did, but I would've rather starved than go up and ask them if I can get my free food now.
[Discussion] Light periods? Ana related?
/u/evo_lutionarily [5'5 | CW: 99 | GW: 92 | F ]
Created: Mon Dec 18 08:33:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7klwin/light_periods_ana_related/
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Hey guys, I’m newish to both this sub and the ED community but I was wondering if anyone else suddenly got really light periods? Eg my period is lighter than it was when I was 13 (when it started) and is it related to restriction? I have undiagnosed disordered eating/anorexia (I’m avoiding my psych like a little bitch) and I just got a weirdly light period. I have days where I eat under 500 cal and days where I eat up to 1 200 cal but generally closer to 800-900 ( it generally cycles between the two with 2-3 day stretches). Thanks fellow EDer’s (if that’s not already a name for us it so should be lol)
[Help] For the first time in 2 months I'm really hungry and I need help from you guys to get my calorie count back down and curb myself
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 138.2 | BMI 27 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26 F]
Created: Mon Dec 18 07:58:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7klowb/for_the_first_time_in_2_months_im_really_hungry/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] What’s the most ignorant thing someone has said to you about your ED/ EDs in general?
/u/Discountmein [5'6" | 148 | 23.9 | 77lbs down | Agender]
Created: Mon Dec 18 07:40:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kll41/whats_the_most_ignorant_thing_someone_has_said_to/
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“You’re beautiful, you don’t need to lose any more weight.”
“It’s really selfish that you keep choosing this.”
“You’ve lost all your curves, you don’t look the same.”
“There’s no way that losing two pounds a week is healthy, even if you’re eating the right number of calories.” (This last one makes my blood boil, like W T FFFF)
“It’s a difference of 40 calories, why would you need to know?”
Ugghhh I can’t figure out how to flair on mobile, I’m sorry mods!! Please flair as discussion, thank you!!
[Discussion] December 18th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 18 07:02:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kldmo/december_18th_2017_question_of_the_day/
---
What do you like to talk about?
[Rant/Rave] Going back to restricting. I can't keep ballooning like I am.
/u/xerox13ster [5'7" | 298.4 | Goal: 270 | 46.7 | 0 | F ]
Created: Mon Dec 18 06:32:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kl859/going_back_to_restricting_i_cant_keep_ballooning/
---
I lost 50 lbs during the first half of the year making great progress restricting and IF. I didn't keep food in my apartment, I walked and bussed everywhere, and I would typically eat one 500cal-ish meal a day. I worked in the garden center at wal-mart, so I was crazy active and I could know my meal's calories instantly.
When I moved, I thought I could try to have a healthy relationship to food. I started keeping food in the house and taking Uber to work because we don't have public transport here. Since then I've been packing on the pounds and I'm nearly over 300lbs as of this morning and I'm done.
I'm going to water fast today, go to the store and buy nothing but carrots, celery, bouillon/broth, pickles and salmon/tilapia. I'm going to let myself binge on celery and pickles and I'm going to have one baked filet of fish a day with carrots. Maybe tomatoes or leeks or green onions thrown in as a garnish, but never a consequential amount.
I'm just done being on an upswing. I went to a hibachi buffet friday night (4 f-ing plates!), ordered two pizzas saturday, went out the next day and had a huge burrito, and then for dinner had a mixing bowl of chow mein. The only good thing about the chow mein was that it I made it spicy enough to be more of a punishment than anything.
I weighed in at 298.4. I'm done.
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! December 18, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Dec 18 05:14:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kkunt/weekly_stats_update_december_18_2017/
---
This is the weekly status thread for December 18, 2017.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! December 18, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Dec 18 05:14:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kkun0/daily_food_diary_december_18_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 18, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] Eating Disorders and Relationships
/u/aNervousThrowaway1
Created: Mon Dec 18 03:09:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kkccg/eating_disorders_and_relationships/
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Hey all, I was wondering how has your ED affected your relationship, and how your relationship has affected it. Just looking for some support as I go through a tough time and would like to hear your thoughts on eating disorders and relationships. Sometimes it feels like its impossible to be in a normal relationship when you are struggling, especially when you don't want the other person to know.
Edit: Also, are you completely open with your SO, do you lie about it, do you hide it completely? Why do you choose to do it that way
[Help] I need your help. How do you cook seitan?
/u/throwaway254411
Created: Mon Dec 18 02:58:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kkarh/i_need_your_help_how_do_you_cook_seitan/
---
On mobile, can't flair.
My mom bought me seitan and I wanted to try it, it's high in protein and relatively low cal so it could be my safe food soon. However, I don't know how I'm supposed to cook it?? I don't use oil nor butter, can I just roast it or...? I'm willing to use soy sauce or other low calories sauces, but I don't even know where to start.
I know this isn't a cooking subreddit, but I figured you all could give me a low cal recipe.
[Intro] new to the community but not to ed
/u/icansayoutloud
Created: Mon Dec 18 02:39:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kk86g/new_to_the_community_but_not_to_ed/
---
its kinda crazy how when someone who is already thin doesnt eat its "unhealthy" but when i at 160lbs starve myself its a diet
maybe im just jealous
hi im ---
i hate my birthname and honestly dont like any name ive chosen
im also trans nonbinary and use they/them pronouns
Ive been fluctuating between 150 and 170lbs for way too long and i just want to get down to a "normal" weight
i hope to meet new people with similar situations and just make friends
[Help] Help fasting
/u/PineapplePrincezz
Created: Mon Dec 18 01:44:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kk1c2/help_fasting/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I am so scared of gaining weight that I've started to purge my morning coffee, lol.
/u/ginandorganicjuice
Created: Mon Dec 18 01:24:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kjyux/i_am_so_scared_of_gaining_weight_that_ive_started/
---
[Discussion] Keto Experiences
/u/Janetheconfused90
Created: Mon Dec 18 01:14:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kjxla/keto_experiences/
---
Hallooo people. Haven't been here in a while but, welp, I'm back. No surprises there.
Pretty sure I've gained like 5 lbs and I'm freaking out. A few years ago I did keto and lost a good few kgs from it but gave up after a few months because I stopped losing. I'm starting again today (despite already fucking up putting sugar in my coffee, but just going to carry on and not allow my dumb head to say fuck it to the whole day). I feel like I need a proper set of guidelines and rules for myself to restrict at the moment because otherwise I end up yo-yoing and being all indecisive, or b/ping which definitely cannot happen anymore.
Questions - has anyone here done keto while underweight? Were you still able to lose? When I did it before I went from a BMI of like 20 to 18.5, so I haven't had any experience of doing it at a lower weight. I'm afraid I won't really lose or I'll have to restrict super low to get anywhere.
My plan is to mostly eat scrambled eggs, cheese, chicken, salads with avo/feta/dressing, cauliflower, etc. I'm hoping I can lose a couple kg (not a ton, my bmi is somewhere between 16.5 and 17, don't have my trustworthy scale, but I don't want to go below a BMI of like 15.5) without feeling like shit or becoming less functional.
Any experiences or advice from you guys? I feel pretty motivated and my body image is driving me insane at the moment so I need to get this right.
[Help] I just chewed and spit an entire batch of cookies
/u/qurrat361 [160 cm | 48 kg | BMI 19.27 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 18 00:45:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kjtjc/i_just_chewed_and_spit_an_entire_batch_of_cookies/
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And now my teeth are hurting, and my throat is kinda hurting as well. Should I be worried?
I apologize if I'm just being paranoid, but I don't c/s very often, and this is the first time this has happened to me, and in the past it's always been with pretty small amounts of food, so I really don't know what to think
[Rant/Rave] On regaining.
/u/stickbuggy [6'1" | 180lb | 22.6 (new) | -70lb | F]
Created: Mon Dec 18 00:31:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kjrou/on_regaining/
---
I think it's important to talk about regaining weight when you have an ED.
If I have an ED, it's probably some type of EDNOS. I restrict and I binge, but mostly binge recently. Thus, I've gone up in weight.
Not by much, maybe 5 lbs, but any weight gain feels like a failure. My eating habits have arguably gotten worse, with me not eating for the majority of the day and then binging on sweets when I get home. It sucks. Depression combined with other mental illnesses does weird things to you.
If you're in the same boat, feeling like a failure because you've put on weight, please know that you're not alone. Every pound or ounce feels like a personal flaw, but I promise you that it isn't. Make sure that you take care of yourself as best as you can. You have a whole community of people here to support you, that KNOW what you're going through. It's difficult and EDs are cruel, but I believe in you. Regaining is not the end of the world, and I think it's important to talk about it openly and how it makes us feel.
All of you are amazing and I wish you the best. 💕
[Help] Help from my workout junkies
/u/mynameisasecret12
Created: Mon Dec 18 00:01:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kjn22/help_from_my_workout_junkies/
---
I go to the gym 4x a week and have a relatively intense weightlifting workout + cardio and some mat exercises. I normally don’t have a problem with lightheadedness or fatigue but today my workout was both exceptionally difficult and not as good as normal. I couldn’t lift as much as I normally do and I was struggling with the most basic exercise. Heart was racing, muscles were giving out, etc. any advice for circumventing that? I restrict to just about 500-600 calories a day. Just have never encountered this problem before. Thanks!
[Other] Eating ‘enough’ and feeling like a fraud
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 17 23:10:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kjf8s/eating_enough_and_feeling_like_a_fraud/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Broke my mirror last night
/u/heyeurydice [5'8.5" | 123 | 18.4 | -37 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 17 23:03:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kje5x/broke_my_mirror_last_night/
---
I had my mirror leaning on my dresser, then bumped my dresser and it flipped off. I'm still finding glass and now I have to go into the bathroom to use that mirror.
It's weird - I'm flipping between "hooray! I can be in my room without constantly checking and monitoring fat angles!" and "oh shit! I'm in my room and I'm not checking or monitoring fat angles!"
Anyway, I'm 24 hours into an accidental mirror fast. Anyone have wall hanging tips if I can't drill holes?
[Rant/Rave] Revelist Articles
/u/blerg1234567
Created: Sun Dec 17 22:46:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kjb8d/revelist_articles/
---
I’m on my phone, please flair as rant/rave. ❤️
So there’s this trash website called Revelist (the articles often pop up for me on Facebook as “sponsored”). I recently clicked on one, and it was actually awesome!
These girls (Alle and Jess I believe) have totally opposite body types. One is really thin (size small) and the other is plus sized (3x). In the articles they try on the same outfits and you can see how different the clothes look on each body type. It’s super motivating for me to see what a difference it makes.
Anyway, I thought you guys might be into it. There’s a couple swimsuit ones and also a strapless bra one that are pretty great.
[Discussion] How are you going to cope with Christmas?
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 57.1kg | BMI 18.86 |- 15kg | GW 52kg | 25F]
Created: Sun Dec 17 22:44:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kjay9/how_are_you_going_to_cope_with_christmas/
---
So, it's Christmas and I'll be spending it with my family who know about my eating disorder. I stupidly told them when I was really upset. Idiot idiot idiot. Now they always comment on my weight. (Yesterday, they commented on how 'healthy' I was looking - I've gained 4lbs and thought I'd got away with it, but obviously not so restriction just got amped UP.)
I'm cool when I'm living with my sister because she knows that the best way to deal with me is to mind her own business, but my food consumption is going to be what my parents hone in on for these 4 days at home.
How are you guys coping with Christmas? I'm thinking that I sleep in as much as possible and that already gets rid of breakfast. Maybe cut up my food a lot and push it around to make it look like I've eaten more than I have? Basically I'm sick of not reaching my goal of 50kg yet and I'd rather start getting on it now rather than waiting for New Years.
[Rant/Rave] I am the DUFF and I hate myself
/u/I_give_up_258
Created: Sun Dec 17 22:02:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kj3lk/i_am_the_duff_and_i_hate_myself/
---
[removed]
[Help] how rapidly can i lose? (overweight)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 17 21:42:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kj07x/how_rapidly_can_i_lose_overweight/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Who’s your favorite thinspo right now?
/u/quoth_the_phoenix
Created: Sun Dec 17 21:02:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kisyr/whos_your_favorite_thinspo_right_now/
---
I’m watching a horror comedy on Netflix now and it’s starring Lily Rose Depp. How is she so perfect? 😍
The movie is really punk and awesome so far. Also it’s Canadian and I love Canada 🇨🇦
[Discussion] Holidays got me like 😅 What about you guys?
/u/themomofthegroup
Created: Sun Dec 17 20:38:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kioct/holidays_got_me_like_what_about_you_guys/
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This weekend for the first time in awhile I ate like a normal human bean. It felt so good to enjoy my food and enjoy the time I had with friends I haven't seen in so long. Don't get me wrong, every time I was alone I was working out or worrying about how many calories I ate--but it was nice to be in the moment. Heading back into the week hopefully going back to regular restriction. How is everyone else's holidays going?
[Help] Holiday/Travel advice?
/u/finnkat
Created: Sun Dec 17 20:21:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kikxt/holidaytravel_advice/
---
This is the first holiday in a long time that I'm going to constantly be around people. I'm driving cross-country with some family which will take 2 days, then spending about a week in the town my dad lives. Almost everyone from both sides of my family will be there (one of my siblings is getting married over the holidays) and I'm kind of freaking out. I've worked really hard and lost a lot of weight and all i can see for the next week and a half is fast food and restaurants with my family watching me at all times. I'm sure other people are stressed about things like this too, so does anyone have any good tips or advice for the upcoming holidays?
[Other] Try as hard as you can, over and over, stay patient with yourself, don't get frustrated, and eventually you'll get it right.
/u/frustratedwithfat [F | 5'7" | SW 160, then 130. CW 188, GW 123, UGW 113]
Created: Sun Dec 17 20:05:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kihx7/try_as_hard_as_you_can_over_and_over_stay_patient/
---
Just a reminder that a failure isn't the end and doesn't make all the work you did useless.
I am the fattest, ugliest failure right now. I'm the heaviest I've ever been because I'm a mentally ill alcoholic. And I keep gaining weight.
But I've been TRYING to stop drinking, and stop stuffing my face full of food, for weeks. And saying the title of this post. I think it might be the secret to life.
Yesterday, I came so close. I fasted according to my rules, didn't drink all day, didn't make it to the gym but worked out at home, so not great but not bad... then binged and had half a bottle of vodka at night. But at least I made progress.
Then today- I've had a protein bar, six drinks, and no other calories. This is going to be my first day coming in under 1,200 calories in months. And I can already feel hungry and feel my inner self start to embrace it. Wins are coming. Wins are coming to all of us, even if we've been losing for a while.
Try as hard as you can, over and over, stay patient with yourself, don't get frustrated, and eventually you'll get it right.
[Other] I’ve feeling depressed today but not gonna lie this made it slightly better- it looks so satisfying :)
/u/z0boe [22.7]
Created: Sun Dec 17 19:43:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kidr1/ive_feeling_depressed_today_but_not_gonna_lie/
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https://i.redd.it/ytt4cxgfgl401.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I hate inconveniences
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 | CW 141 | 23.74| F]
Created: Sun Dec 17 19:39:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kicxt/i_hate_inconveniences/
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Like when you actually fucking decide to eat and something gets in the way of it. I wanted a light meal for dinner after going to the gym since I have been fasting a lot the past week and my step mom is like “ARE YOU EATING THAT SALSA” “THATS FOR MY CHRISTMAS PARTY” even tho they always eat my food out of my mini fridge that I BUY. THANKS ILL STARVE.
[Discussion] DAE gain suddenly then lose a lot over the next week?
/u/aliceintheair
Created: Sun Dec 17 19:27:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kiais/dae_gain_suddenly_then_lose_a_lot_over_the_next/
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I use a calorie tracking app that shows my weight over time and I’ve found it tends to go up about .5kg for a day and then over the next week I’ll quickly lose about 1kg. Idk if it’s water weight or what goes on but anyone else?
[Discussion] DAE have their weight go up slightly before they lose more quickly?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 17 19:26:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kiaak/dae_have_their_weight_go_up_slightly_before_they/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Leaving for vacation in 5 days
/u/happysquats24 [5'4 | CW 153 | GW 120| 19F]
Created: Sun Dec 17 19:24:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ki9z2/leaving_for_vacation_in_5_days/
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And I'm still fat. I almost want to make my family cancel my ticket because there's no way I'm showing my body like this.
I think I'm going to fast for the next few days or just hide out in the room. I'm so ashamed of my body right now, school and binging has gotten the best of me.
[Discussion] Adderall and stimulants.
/u/Biggyhefty
Created: Sun Dec 17 19:19:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ki8zr/adderall_and_stimulants/
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[removed]
[Help] Phantom period?
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | CW: 117 | GW: small | F]
Created: Sun Dec 17 19:17:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ki8kn/phantom_period/
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I haven't lost my period for that long--not sure if the absence is even going to last, tbh, because it's only skipped one cycle so far. But if I had gotten my period last month, I would technically be PMSing right now. My abdomen is bloated/in pain for no reason (no, not appendicitis, and I've fasted today so it can't be food bloat). The scale's jumped up as well, despite the fact I've been on a steady downward trend.
Does anyone else experience this?? Will the bloating and extra pounds go away? It's stressing me out.
[Discussion] Progress check without a scale?
/u/kailana12
Created: Sun Dec 17 19:08:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ki6q3/progress_check_without_a_scale/
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So a few of my friends have ED's and don't use scales to weigh themselves. I could never ask them bc we don't talk about our EDs but what are ways people keep track of their size? Personally, I have no idea if I'm losing or gaining unless I see a number on a scale. Any ideas??
[Help] Uncharted territory - when should I go to treatment?
/u/proudnalgeneowner [5'5 | CW90.6 | UGW88 | 15.25 | 17F]
Created: Sun Dec 17 18:56:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ki47i/uncharted_territory_when_should_i_go_to_treatment/
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I'm in uncharted territory. 88.6lbs this morning and I feel horrible whether I overeat, maintain, high restrict, or low restrict. I have no motivation to get school work done and I feel awful about it because I've always been a good student and my self worth used to hinge completely on that.
I can't focus properly on anything and my life is so overwhelming, I have school, work, a leadership role in robotics (they really need me to be there) and I need to learn to drive. All that on top of my ED, which is ridiculously time consuming and stressful and I can't talk to anyone about it.
I went to treatment last year at 93lbs. I missed two and a half months of school for that, on top of the previous 2.5 months for an almost-suicide attempt. I'm repeating junior year. I'm a failure.
I can't continue like this but I can't go to treatment. I'll lose my job (it's a new job), my fish will die without me, I'll miss too much school and get myself more behind, I'll miss my road test on January 9, and I won't be there for my robotics team this build season.
but I also don't know how serious this weight is. I think I do better at low weights than a lot of people because I got my period last month at 95lbs. but I frequently think "oh my god I'm dying" and my hands are always purple and my butt hurts so much when I sit and I'm freezing all the time. I haven't ever been this weight and height. in 7th grade I was 5'5 and 90.
today my dad said I look like I'm the ideal size for a woman. that made me so uncomfortable and like I'm overreacting to all of this. I don't know what I want and I need someone to help me figure this out.
[Rant/Rave] “Your goal could be 100 pounds!”
/u/like_a_living_thing [5'4" | 115 | F | 👽]
Created: Sun Dec 17 18:34:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7khzoa/your_goal_could_be_100_pounds/
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So my good friend who is very kind and just totally oblivious said something super horrible today. I know he has no idea about weight or my body image issues or anything so I’m not pissed at him, just super obsessive about this thing he said. Here goes:
First of all, knows I work out a ton and likes to talk about it, he’s very talkative in a good way, he’s just interested in what goes on in other people’s lives, so I love talking to him about anything, including fitness. He doesn’t know much about it and is genuinely curious.
So today we’re talking about how I could probably fit in the freezer on our fridge(I know it’s weird, whatever, we have a good time) and he’s like “yeah we could put you in there, I bet it’s rated for 50 pounds with a safety factor of 2!” Meaning it could hold 100 lbs(were both engineers). And so I tell him I weigh more than 100 lbs, and he says “oh I’m sure the safety factor could be like 2.5 then! And with all the working out maybe 100 lbs could be your goal!”
And I know he was just making banter, and I know he has absolutely no idea how weight works because he guessed that I weigh 100lbs(I wish), and I know that he didn’t mean anything rude by it, he probably doesn’t even realize that I’d be underweight at 100 lbs. he has zero idea that I have any sort of issues with this and it probably wouldn’t even have crossed his mind so I don’t fault him but ugh it was super overwhelming for me. I would love to be 100 pounds.
[Discussion] How to get lax tea to work?
/u/_letsdothis [5'2 |CW: 106 |19.8|F]
Created: Sun Dec 17 18:31:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7khz55/how_to_get_lax_tea_to_work/
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[removed]
[Other] How I feel no matter how much I eat
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Sun Dec 17 18:27:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7khyg2/how_i_feel_no_matter_how_much_i_eat/
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https://i.redd.it/90izo7zs2l401.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I hate food.
/u/Fugeezy
Created: Sun Dec 17 18:27:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7khye1/i_hate_food/
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I’m overweight and I can’t stand the sight of food anymore. I’ve been fasting on and off and whenever I do eat, I fucking binge.
I lost 20 pounds in two weeks and gained 8 back in a week.
I just don’t know what to do. I buy food then throw all the shit away. I hate my body. I hate food. I hate it all.
My boyfriend is trying to help me but I know he likes petite girls and I’m far from it.
How I feel no matter how much I eat
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 17 18:26:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7khy9f/how_i_feel_no_matter_how_much_i_eat/
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https://i.redd.it/bncp8vvm2l401.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Felt empty and depressed all day, but then I went to the gym...
/u/littlest-bear
Created: Sun Dec 17 18:25:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7khy0b/felt_empty_and_depressed_all_day_but_then_i_went/
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... and now I feel empty, depressed, and tired!
I'm mostly joking, but I did end up spending a solid two hours at the gym. One hour on the treadmill and one hour doing a Strong Curves routine. I'm still feeling meh emotionally, but slightly better knowing I'm another step closing to my GW.
Does anyone else just feel meh sometimes? Not sad or anything, but just emotionally numb? Like there's no enjoyment in anything. I think I'd rather feel sad than this, lol.
[Other] Broke a 20 day water fast! A few hours short of 21 days!
/u/waterfasting21
Created: Sun Dec 17 18:11:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7khv73/broke_a_20_day_water_fast_a_few_hours_short_of_21/
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Hi guys! just broke my 20 day water fast, 4 hours short of being 21 days. i only did 20 days, a few hours short from 21 because i went to this event with a lot of people and started having a bit of a panic attack due to anxiety, so to avoid passing out i ate a few peanuts but up until that point it was pretty smooth sailing!
I’ve always been really into fasting, I usually do 3 day, 1 week, or 10 day ones. The longest i had done up until this one had been 19 days so I’ve finally broken my record!
now for the fun part, the weight loss!
i started with a few short fasts for like 2 weeks before hand in which i lost 10 lbs, so in total ive lost 33 but during the 20 days ive lost 23! so yeah basically 33 lbs in 35 days! BUUUT since breaking it ive lost 2 more additional pounds bringing it up to a grand total of 35 lbs!
fasting shrinks your stomach dramatically so you get full crazy fast with very little food. it also really helps with your "relationship" with food, i have zero cravings for any sort of junk food nor do i feel the need to eat after im satisfied, today all ive really had are 2 eggs with cheese on top and im very content! Since breaking it ive been eating high fat low carbs foods and have stayed very deep in ketosis.
anyway if you guys have any questions let me know!!!
TL:DR lost 35lbs in a little over a month with water fasting!
[Rant/Rave] Want an easy way to lose 1-2 pounds in 4 hours?
/u/bunkbedsex
Created: Sun Dec 17 17:59:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7khskq/want_an_easy_way_to_lose_12_pounds_in_4_hours/
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[removed]
[Help] Help!! Blood in diarrhea!!
/u/motivatedcactus
Created: Sun Dec 17 17:55:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7khrsf/help_blood_in_diarrhea/
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Hi. Getting right into it cuz I’m scared. I haven’t pooped in a couple days. I’ve been restricting. Today earlier I had nearly pure liquid diarrhea. Just now I did again and when I wiped there was blood. Red. What could it be? Someone please help I’m freaking out
[Rant/Rave] Freaking out...
/u/coffeebean27
Created: Sun Dec 17 17:54:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7khrls/freaking_out/
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AHH!!!
Currently at Sizzlers, binging so much. I don’t even want to think of the calories. Tomorrow I have swim practice in an outdoors pool... and I have to wear a two piece... FUCK. I’m freaking out and I feel like absolute crap. I’m going to look fucking disgusting.
Planning on running in the morning and restricting all day so I can at least fit into the damn swim suit.
[Rant/Rave] Lied to my nan about my weight and she told me I could use her scales if I wanted to check.
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5'4" | 120 | 20.54| GW: 115 | NB]
Created: Sun Dec 17 17:30:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7khmjr/lied_to_my_nan_about_my_weight_and_she_told_me_i/
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As bad as I feel for lying to her it's removed *some* of my anxiety around being back at my dads and not being able to weigh myself. Guys I'll be able to see if I'm dropping weight! I'm managing to restrict despite my nan's attempts to constantly feed me, I know I'm supposed to be trying to recover but I can't pull myself away from scales or stop calculating calories admittedly I'm only 36 days in but I feel like my friends think I should be further along given they praise me every time I eat 'normally', just got to think about the scales and try not to be on them everyday while I'm here
[Discussion] low-calorie ways to get iron?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: uw | f | 22 ]
Created: Sun Dec 17 17:29:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7khmew/lowcalorie_ways_to_get_iron/
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my counselor made me see a nurse and get blood drawn. apparently everything's fine (tbh i've never had negative effects from restricting, even when my bmi was way more underweight than it is now) except that i have a really significant iron deficiency. i have to take a ferritin supplement but also was told to eat more iron.
i know that things like lentils and beans are iron-rich, but they're kind of high calorie. anyone have go-to low calorie foods with a lot of iron?
[Help] Dumb question, what are bouillon cubes?
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5'4" | 120 | 20.54| GW: 115 | NB]
Created: Sun Dec 17 17:21:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7khkon/dumb_question_what_are_bouillon_cubes/
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I see posts mentioning bouillon cubes and using them for broth and I'm confused because in the UK all I can find is stock cubes and I was wondering if they were the same thing?
[Other] I just want to know if this is relatable
/u/lunartalk [5'4 | HW:165 | CW:118 |F]
Created: Sun Dec 17 17:21:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7khkn2/i_just_want_to_know_if_this_is_relatable/
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Okay so I b/p and I HATE hand sanitizer. It sticks on your hands all day and you can always taste it if your hand is down your throat. Can anyone else relate hahah?
[Discussion] December 17th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 17 17:11:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7khigo/december_17th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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If you had to move to a different city, where would you move?
[Help] Will bulimia kill me?
/u/cammie5
Created: Sun Dec 17 16:34:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7khath/will_bulimia_kill_me/
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I’ve been purging so much lately I can’t fucking stop it’s like 2-5 times a day for a couple weeks and I’ve been experiencing muscle soreness/weakness and chest pain sometimes I know I’m being dramatic but I feel like I’ll die soon... can someone please tell me to stop also My acne is breaking out a lot and my skin is just looking terrible like an old lady
[Rant/Rave] Thinspo for shorter women??
/u/InterchangeableMoon
Created: Sun Dec 17 16:32:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7khaby/thinspo_for_shorter_women/
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I wish I was taller. I'm 5'0" and I see so many people on this sub whose flairs say they're 5'7"+ and I'm so painfully envious. I feel like my body would be at least kind of normal if my legs were a bit longer and my muscle and fat were distributed vertically. And this probably isn't true but it just seems like being taller will look better at my UGW. I wanna be more statuesque, not just smaller. Idk.
Does anyone have any good thinspo for short women cause i feel like if I had someone I could relate to more height wise I'd feel less anxious about the fact that I'd never be tall enough to model even if I did manage to get to my UGW.
[Other] The closest I’ll ever get to cake
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Sun Dec 17 16:14:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kh6eo/the_closest_ill_ever_get_to_cake/
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https://i.redd.it/qgugpakzek401.jpg
Dealing with hair loss?
/u/Darcydoll127 [5'10 | 158lbs | 22.75| -69lbs| F]
Created: Sun Dec 17 16:00:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kh3jz/dealing_with_hair_loss/
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I have noticed my hair is falling out faster than it was, even with taking vitamins and biotin/collagen supplements. I was wondering if anyone else has discovered a solution or tried something like Rogaine. I never thought that as a women in my mid-20s I would have to look into buying Rogaine, but here I am.
Is there any pro recovery Insta hashtag that isn't too obvious..?
/u/yesyeshihello [157cm | BMI: 17.24 | 27F]
Created: Sun Dec 17 15:52:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kh1td/is_there_any_pro_recovery_insta_hashtag_that_isnt/
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I'm not even sure my question makes sense...
I want to use my personal account to connect with some of you. Anyone. I'm lonely af.
And I know there's a lot of tags I could start using but I'm not 100% out to the world. I don't even know what I'd come out as, I got an anorexia diagnosis but that was a month and a half ago and all through that time I've just been bingeing like a mofo and god I just don't know.
Don't know what I want, don't know what I mean to ask.
Anyone here use their personal Insta for ed/recovery related stuff? Anyone want to be friends?
Do I want to be friends? D': shit I feel really lost
[Help] Laxitive tea
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 | CW 141 | 23.74| F]
Created: Sun Dec 17 15:35:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kgy6l/laxitive_tea/
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Anyone know of any good lax tea? I’m not a big fan of pills but I like the idea of having something more natural to flush me out faster after a day of utter shut eating such as today. It would be a big help thank you!
I'm getting a scale tomorrow and I'm so anxious.
/u/YetAnotherCrazyGirl
Created: Sun Dec 17 15:17:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kgu7p/im_getting_a_scale_tomorrow_and_im_so_anxious/
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I need a weighing scale to keep track of my weight without taking pictures or looking in mirrors so that I actually feel like I'm making progress but I'm so scared about getting one. I'm scared of buying a weighing scale as a fat person and people judging me. I'm scared of sneaking it in without suspicion. I'm scared of how much I weigh and actually seeing the number but I know I have to do it.
I feel sick just thinking about how I'm going to get it but I need it. I've already looked online to see which cheaper ones are in stock so I know which I'm going to get but that doesn't calm my nerves. I'm just so worried.
[Rant/Rave] having other people validate your weight 💞💞
/u/ilmclgp11
Created: Sun Dec 17 15:12:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kgt0f/having_other_people_validate_your_weight/
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i’ve been seeing this guy for about a month and last night i was at his place until pretty late, [nsfw but] we did the sex and i was on top and afterwards he just couldn’t stop gushing about my body and my flat tummy and how he could see my abs flex and i swear to god i am STILL glowing. my tummy/hips have always been a problem area for my weight loss but having him say that just made me feel like a fucking goddess and im having the best day thanks everyone for reading k bye
[Discussion] favorite low calorie snacks ?
/u/audreybelle_ [5’3 | 14F | cw: fat | gw: 118lbs | hw: 159.8lbs]
Created: Sun Dec 17 15:08:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kgs5o/favorite_low_calorie_snacks/
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hey there! so i’m wondering what your favorite low cal snacks are. my personal favorite are the pillsberry ready to bake cookies, which are around 85 cals per cookie, and the packaging looks like this: https://imgur.com/a/pYEYG
[Tip] Carrot and coriander falafel - 51kcal per falafel!
/u/artful_heart [5'7.5 | CW 97 | GW1 95 | GW2 92 | UGW 88 | BMI 14.86 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 17 14:53:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kgotm/carrot_and_coriander_falafel_51kcal_per_falafel/
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The kcal-count *includes* an herby yogurt dip. Omit the pitta and hummus, which aren't included in the calorie count, and this looks like a *complicated but awesome* recipe that we can make a meal of... or make for the people around us and *actually eat with them* while maintaining a low caloric intake.
I'll be trying it next weekend...
[Recipe from BBC Food here](https://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/carrot_and_coriander_72724)
**Ingredients**
*For the falafels*:
* 1 tsp cumin seeds
* 1 tsp coriander seeds
* 2 x 400g/14oz cans chickpeas, drained
* salt and freshly ground black pepper
* 1½ tsp baking powder
* 1 tbsp plain flour
* 100g/3½oz carrot, finely grated (moisture squeezed out)
* 1 red chilli, finely chopped
* 1 tbsp chopped fresh coriander
* 1 garlic clove, crushed
* 2 tbsp chopped fresh parsley
* 1 lemon, zest only
* vegetable oil, for frying
* sesame seeds, to garnish
*For the yoghurt dip*:
* 100ml/3½fl oz Greek yoghurt
* 1 tbsp chopped fresh coriander
* 1 tbsp chopped fresh mint
* 1 lime, juice only
* 1 tbsp tahini
**Method**
* For the falafels, toast the cumin and coriander seeds in a dry frying pan for 1-2 minutes, or until fragrant. Grind the seeds in a pestle and mortar.
* Blend the toasted spices together with the remaining falafel ingredients in food processor until well combined.
* Shape spoonfuls of the falafel mixture into balls and set aside on a plate.
* Meanwhile, heat 1cm/½in vegetable oil in a frying pan and fry the falafels for 1-2 minutes on each side. Remove the falafel from the pan with a slotted spoon and set aside to drain on kitchen paper. Sprinkle with the sesame seeds.
* For the yoghurt dip, blend the Greek yoghurt, coriander, mint, lime and tahini in a food processor until smooth.
* Serve the falafels with ~~toasted pitta breads and~~ the yoghurt dressing alongside.
[Help] Restricting/fasting and driving?
/u/PM_M3_UR_SECRETS [163cm | CW 60kg | GW 50kg | HW 80kg]
Created: Sun Dec 17 14:48:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kgnrx/restrictingfasting_and_driving/
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Hi everyone! So, I'm hopefully going to get my drivers license next week and I'm really looking forward to it, but I read a post earlier about remembering to eat before driving anywhere and that made me think. I have to drive about half an hour to and from school every day, until now I've been taking the train which takes forever. Usually I fast until I get home from school in the afternoon, and I don't usually get super dizzy or anything during the day. I also just finished my first 40 hour fast last week and I was going to try to go for 48 next time.
Am I gonna have to stop fasting altogether if I need to drive every day? Can I still fast until the afternoon at least? If I eat at night I should be good to drive in the morning, right? And is there anything I can keep in my car or a low calorie snack I could have just in case I don't feel safe driving after I've been restricting? Sorry for asking all these questions, I'm totally clueless, I didn't even consider this until just now and I'm freaking out. I was looking forward to finally being able to drive and now all I can think about is how I'm gonna get fat because of it. 😔 It doesn't help that I won't walk 20 minutes to school from the train stop and back every day anymore.
Fuuuuck. Does anyone have any advice on how I should handle this? My life was supposed to get easier after getting my license and now it's just making everything more complicated lol. I would really really appreciate it if anybody could give me some tips on how to stay safe and still keep up with restricting. And maybe on how to best make up for the steps I'm losing by not walking as much anymore. Hope you're all doing okay <3
I [25F] seeking ed buddy. [171cm, cw: 59kg, lw: 48kg, gw: 50kg type: Ednos restrictive/ exercise]
/u/Sweetparamour2 [171cm | 58kg | 19bmi | 1kg | Female]
Created: Sun Dec 17 14:01:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kgd5z/i_25f_seeking_ed_buddy_171cm_cw_59kg_lw_48kg_gw/
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[removed]
[Help] What is wrong with me?
/u/RebornOldFart
Created: Sun Dec 17 13:13:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kg2bc/what_is_wrong_with_me/
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My life is in complete chaos now. Trying to determine if I am ASD, ADHD, suffering from untreated head trauma from years back... I think I am in the middle of a Binge Eating Disorder, possibly related to ADHD, if that is the problem.
I spent July 2016 to June of 2017 eating 1500 calories a day or less, except for a total of 3 days, and lost 135 pounds. I was 18 pounds from my goal of 200 pounds, 3 pounds from being overweight rather than obese. I have gained roughly 12 pounds since then, and I cannot stop shoveling food into my mouth.
I am eating more than I did when I was 350+ pounds and I cannot stop it. I throw stuff away and then find myself with candy and crap in my buggy at the store like I am not in control of myself.
I have been in therapy for childhood sexual abuse and I don't know if that triggered it or not. This was specialized therapy for sexual abuse only and they have decided I no longer meet that criteria and I am out come next week. It will be after the first of the year before I have new insurance and go to my doctor again and try to find help.
I don't know what to do. I don't know what is wrong with me. I feel overwhelming guilt and hate for myself. Is this an eating disorder, an ED caused by other issues, or am I just insane? I am not suicidal but I really wouldn't mind being dead.
[Discussion] I think I’m Binge Eating World Champion
/u/carbslut
Created: Sun Dec 17 13:09:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kg1bm/i_think_im_binge_eating_world_champion/
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I can eat so much. I hate when non-ED people refer to a “binge” on 2 scoops of ice cream, but even on this sub I feel like a freak when people talk about how much they binged and it’ll be like 3000 calories. I get that it’s legitimately labeled a binge, but I’m not exaggerating when I say 3000 calories just wets my appetite. You know those videos of people eating 10000 calories in a day? The amount of food doesn’t even seem difficult. Seems like a fun day actually.
I feel like I have the worst hidden talent in the history of the universe.
[Help] Just bought lots of food knowing I was gonna purge it..
/u/littlecorpse
Created: Sun Dec 17 12:42:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kfv4s/just_bought_lots_of_food_knowing_i_was_gonna/
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Now here I am, about to purge. How do I stop wasting money
edit: roommate came home, ended up doing it in a bag in my room and sneaked out looking like a crackhead lmao
[Help] I actually don't know how to eat, or what hunger or fullness feel like.
/u/whiskeycrackers
Created: Sun Dec 17 12:31:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kfsmw/i_actually_dont_know_how_to_eat_or_what_hunger_or/
---
The concept of eating when I'm hungry and stopping when I'm full is completely foreign to me. I can't identify the feeling of hunger or fullness.
When I'm trying to be healthy, I call a blood sugar drop "hunger." Dizzy, tired, hard to focus, headache. But that means I'm hungry every four hours, and that can't be right. When I'm relapsing, I call a growling tummy "hunger." But that means I'm only hungry once or twice a day, and that can't be right either.
As for fullness, the only thing I recognize as fullness is feeling stuffed. I will eat until I literally cannot fit another bite into my mouth, or until I don't want the taste of food in my mouth anymore. Whichever comes first. And that's usually fine if I'm restricting. My shrunken stomach gets stuffed easily. But if I'm trying to be healthy, that means I gain weight fast.
It makes recovery impossible, because I'll eat til I'm stuffed every 4 hours, gain a fuckload of weight, freak out, and start restricting again. I feel like I'm doomed to a binge/restrict cycle.
And I hate this binge/restrict cycle. Do you know how obnoxious it is to have a closet overflowing with cute clothes, and you can only wear 20% of it at any time, because the sizes range from 0 to 12??? And I can't get rid of any of them, because I can't afford to buy new clothes every time my weight changes!
Oh, also it's bad for my body, I guess. Secondary concern. Lol.
[Help] Tips on how to stay warm?
/u/alexxxxis [5'9 | CW:129 | BMI: 19.2 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 17 11:50:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kfji7/tips_on_how_to_stay_warm/
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I'm super cold ALL the time even when the heat is on and family is warm. I've been walking around my house wearing my coat, gloves, hat, and scarf but my family thinks I'm so weird lol. Does anyone have any tips to stay warm without looking like a freak?
[Help] About Protein
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 17 11:25:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kfe01/about_protein/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Stuck at my 2nd goal weight
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Sun Dec 17 10:18:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7keyz8/stuck_at_my_2nd_goal_weight/
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Idk my point of this but I’m just gonna ramble a bit if that’s ok.
120 was my first goal weight, 110 was my second and now 100 is what I’m aiming for (I’m 5’1)
I was doing pretty well restricting but now I’ve gotten into the habit of going out and drinking a lot which leads to eating so I’ve pretty much been maintaining 110 for the past couple weeks.
I also absolutely cannot count calories anymore, it drives me crazy and gives me so much anxiety so what I do now is just not eat for as long as I can (usually when I’m working fri-sat) then on the weekdays I go out and let myself eat and drink like a normal person.
I guess it’s good that I’m maintaining but it feels like fasting is pointless when I just mess up the progress during the week. And bc I fast for so long it usually makes me end up eating a lot when I’m drunk.
Oh well, I guess 110 isn’t something to complain about and if I lose more I won’t be able to donate plasma anymore but god damn it I just want to get to 100.
[Discussion] DAE else watch Youtube videos of models or sugar babies?
/u/organicmatcha
Created: Sun Dec 17 10:11:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kexhe/dae_else_watch_youtube_videos_of_models_or_sugar/
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If I'm ever thinking about binging, I immediately watch videos of models cooking or sugar babies showing off their shopping hauls (mostly of all the tiny clothes they wear). These girls are paid to look good and stay their size, so I really admire their discipline.
I've noticed a couple of things:
- They're all vegan or have very restrictive diets (little carbs, mostly veggies, not a lot of sugar)
- Work is priority, then eating. There was model that was saying that she would skip meals so her body wouldn't be under more stress - probably not real science but a very good excuse
- All their food is visually appealing and colorful
- They all show off their perfect stomaches in these vids and look so comfortable doing so
Lol I just want to be them
[Rant/Rave] Broken heart and have lost nearly 10lbs in just ~2 days.
/u/lemonbalm
Created: Sun Dec 17 10:10:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kexbt/broken_heart_and_have_lost_nearly_10lbs_in_just_2/
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I don't know how that much weight loss is even possible but I've eaten basically nothing since Friday, not even 550 calories total.
My boyfriend left me really suddenly and I have never hurt more. It's just magnifying my ED issues which already existed.
I am beside myself and feel sick each time I think about eating. It also makes me hate myself because I always felt he would like me better thinner (he always said he thought I was beautiful but I still felt this way).
[Rant/Rave] Yesterday was my birthday and I spent it bingeing and crying
/u/wydwrong
Created: Sun Dec 17 09:47:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kes6a/yesterday_was_my_birthday_and_i_spent_it_bingeing/
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I've been at this since 8 years old. If I don't die via stomach explosion I hope it's choking to death. This disease *will* kill me and I hope it's fucking soon.
[Rant/Rave] Broke my fast but I'm good.
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 58.8 kg | -24.7 kg | 22F]
Created: Sun Dec 17 08:57:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kehi9/broke_my_fast_but_im_good/
---
I broke my fast today buuut I stayed on the liquid side. It was only a coffee with 193 cals..yup a sugary one.
But I'm still feeling totally alright since:
- That's the only calories today
- I had a date today that went quite well
- I managed to avoid actual food
All in all a good day I'd say. I even felt pretty in my outfit which is seldomly the case.
Hope you all are doing alright too! And if you don't: maybe your day is tomorrow, keep pushing through <3
[Intro] Lurker posting part 2
/u/onepostforme
Created: Sun Dec 17 08:44:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kef0n/lurker_posting_part_2/
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Lost 1.2 lbs, at least it's something but I'll probably keep fasting for another day or two.
So a question, was anyone else diagnosed anorexic before realizing it themselves? I think I have EDNOS but a few years ago after intentionally losing weight I went through a period of time where I wouldn't eat and wouldn't realize it. It was hardly intentional if at all and was at least partially do to the discomfort I experience at times due to my gastroparesis, but not entirely and I definitely loved seeing the scale go down. I ended up in the hospital after an unrelated illness and got diagnosed with anorexia and had to get an NJtube because I developed SMAS but it was pushed as more of a physical issue than a mental one and the idea of putting me in inpatient for EDs was quickly dropped. Anyway I wanted to know if anyone else developed disorder eating not entirely on purpose or completely for weight loss and if anyone else was diagnosed before they knew themselves.
[Other] I think I finally found out the reasons I am doing this to myself.
/u/skydiver89 [skinny fat AF at 5'4" and 140 lbs]
Created: Sun Dec 17 08:13:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ke947/i_think_i_finally_found_out_the_reasons_i_am/
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For one, I've made some bad decisions in the past when I should have known better. I destroyed a family. Yeah...I deserve punishment for that alone.
Two..I was sexually assaulted in July in public. I was about 155 then. Now I just don't want to look like I did when it happened so I'm trying to look like a completely different person.
I think this is something I can share with a professional and we can get to the bottom of this and maybe I can live a normal life...
[Discussion] How many calories/what do you eat to maintain your UGW?
/u/uncommonlyaverage [5'3" | CW 105 | BMI 18.6 | UGW 92 |19F]
Created: Sun Dec 17 08:11:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ke8pw/how_many_calorieswhat_do_you_eat_to_maintain_your/
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My UGW is fast approaching, and I am wondering what you guys eat at maintenance to maintain being underweight/a low weight for your body? My UGW will leave me with a 16.3 bmi, so can anyone give me some advice about maintenance who is there/has been there at some point. Thank You guys! :)
[Goal] HIT 100LBS!!!!
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Sun Dec 17 08:11:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ke8ow/hit_100lbs/
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(100.6) but still ! i know this euphoric feeling won’t last but this is the lowest i’ve been since i was a kid💖💖💖
[Discussion] It is suspiciously easy for me to eat normally. Maybe I never had an ed in the first place?
/u/lavenderbruises [5'9"|CW 115| GW 100| BMI 16.74| 19F]
Created: Sun Dec 17 08:02:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ke73b/it_is_suspiciously_easy_for_me_to_eat_normally/
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So a couple of weeks ago I started eating normally because restriction just drove me crazy. Besides I have exams so I need all my energy to concentrate.
I havent even been counting calories anymore. I just...eat whatever the hell I want. I look at my body and my legs are getting fatter but Im just like “meh”. Gonna eat anyways.
Could it be that I never really had an eating disorder in the first place if its so easy for me to just eat normally?
[Goal] ! A wild thigh gap has appeared ¡
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Sun Dec 17 06:03:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kdo48/a_wild_thigh_gap_has_appeared/
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AND IT'S ALL MINE!
It's still in its infancy, but when I started restricting back in July I wouldn't have ever imagined having an emerging thigh gap.
I want to think *the amazing and supportive people of this community* and baby jesus for helping me on my journey 👐🏾👏🏾👐🏾👏🏾
[Rant/Rave] Why I hate myself. I was Almost at my GW last year. WTF is wrong with me?
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 145 GW 119 | 22.63 | -0lbs | F]
Created: Sun Dec 17 05:49:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kdm5g/why_i_hate_myself_i_was_almost_at_my_gw_last_year/
---
https://i.redd.it/d2qlcd2jbh401.jpg
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! December 17, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Dec 17 05:11:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kdhbm/daily_food_diary_december_17_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 17, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your latest grocery+food hauls!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Dec 17 05:10:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kdh99/sunday_share_your_latest_groceryfood_hauls/
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Feel welcome to post pics of your latest and greatest hauls~! Consider adding commentary on:
* what country you're in
* what store, site, market or Co-op you shopped at
* how much you spent or any sweet deals you found
[Help] I've felt lightheaded for hours
/u/gross9876 [5' 3" | 122 | 🐳 | -24 Lost | Gender]
Created: Sun Dec 17 03:21:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kd4u5/ive_felt_lightheaded_for_hours/
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I'm not sure what to do. I usually have a scoop of sugar in green tea and six cashews with salt for a quick fix, but it's been maybe 24 hours and I still feel dizzy after that concoction.
Today the highest calorie thing I ate was like 2/3 cup of black beans. I don't know what to do, I really don't want to be admitted to the hospital under *any* circumstances. Advice?
[Discussion] Thank you guys for introducing me to mukbangs! More recommendations?
/u/sogyosha
Created: Sun Dec 17 02:27:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kcyxu/thank_you_guys_for_introducing_me_to_mukbangs/
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They're disgusting and I hate them! Aaaand they completely turn me off of food. Eating sounds make me exponentially angry and uncomfortable.
Aside from Trisha Paytas, who has really gross sounding mukbangs/who are your favorite youtubers for this? I just watched Trisha's fettuccini one and it absolutely shredded my nerves.
[Help] I think I broke myself :(
/u/HistrionicSlut
Created: Sun Dec 17 00:49:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kco31/i_think_i_broke_myself/
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I’ve been binge/purging for years. In the last few days I’ve been legitimately sick. I’ve eaten less than 500 calories in four days which should make me happy but I’m so fucking nauseous and have thrown up everything I eat and my stomach HURTS. I’m scared to go to the doctor because I know I’ll have to admit to my b/p but oh god it hurts so much that I get dizzy and see black in my vision.
(Mods I’m mobile please flair for me ❤️)
[Rant/Rave] I purged.
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW:142 |CW:123 |20.6 |GW:110 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 17 00:19:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kckjp/i_purged/
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For the first time in my life.
I did it and it was pretty emotional.
I can’t decide if I feel scared or powerful.
I can see how it’s addicting.
I felt sorry for myself almost. Kind of disgusted, I guess. I can’t believe I’m doing this, but at the same time I feel a weird sense of pride.
My stomach hurts and my throat hurts but my mind wants me to think that those pains means I did good. What a night.
[Intro] Created a new throwaway
/u/Brizyse
Created: Sat Dec 16 23:36:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kceyl/created_a_new_throwaway/
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I've been active on this subject for a long minute and originally I said I wouldn't create a throwaway just for this, but I changed my mind. I just want this to be separated from my interests and hobbies and also I really didn't want to give anyone something to use against/criticise me for. Plus, I feel more encouraged to participate here with a second account. :) usually wouldn't make a post but I felt weird about being so active and then disappearing lol! So hi again :)
[Rant/Rave] First time eating 1000 calories in over six months...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Dec 16 22:51:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kc8uf/first_time_eating_1000_calories_in_over_six_months/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] bad day.
/u/intensitei [5’8 | fat | 23F]
Created: Sat Dec 16 22:09:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kc2ii/bad_day/
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hi :(
after months of hating myself for gaining the most weight i have ever gained in my life (due to a long ass severe depressive episode), i finally got into a routine that made me consistently drop weight. it was only this week but that is such a long time for me. i was so excited to keep at it and maybe finally get to my first goal.
& i also barely post here (was here before under a different name) because my BED is so horrific that i felt like i didn’t belong here. i was so out of control and i felt/feel disgusting.
anyways, i was excited because i had made it so long without binging. then i got up today and my weight hadn’t budged (actually went up a pound. was probably water/poop/aliens/whatever) and it impacted me in a weird way mentally. ended up binging and getting a really bad stomach ache. and then (tmi) i was constipated (still am. damnit). THEN i saw my best friend flirting with their crush on my social media timeline and now they’re texting me about the crush and surprise surprise i have a crush on my best friend that i have been trying really really hard to suppress and kill and destroy ahahahahahahahahah
i wouldn’t say i’m drowning in jealousy (i think the crush is cute and great and i don’t harbor any vicious feelings or thoughts over this situation) but i’m so uncomfortable hearing them gush about said crush and talk about all the things they want to do for them and i just feel unlovable because why would someone as cool and beautiful as my best friend ever like someone as mentally ill and gross as me
i feel like even if i lose weight and finally work on trying to be more comfortable with myself and who i am and work on my depression, i’ll still feel unlovable and weird and awkward
i’m going to drink some water and be my gross self for the night and try again tomorrow. i may always have some form of self-hate but i’d rather have it at a much lower weight. i feel so gross and uncomfortable.
i guess i just needed all of this off of my chest. and maybe a couple of internet hugs if y’all don’t mind.
[Thinspo] I draw most of my aesthetic inspiration from art. Today it's Egon Schiele.
/u/lustforgrace [5'2" | CW 121lbs | LW 65lbs | GW 78lbs | BMI 22.93 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 16 20:57:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kbqs0/i_draw_most_of_my_aesthetic_inspiration_from_art/
---
https://imgur.com/a/JWiWg
[Discussion] Anyone else play games while they exercise?
/u/finnkat
Created: Sat Dec 16 20:16:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kbjra/anyone_else_play_games_while_they_exercise/
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I love playing games on my phone when I do cardio. It just makes the time seem to go fast when I'm not moving. If I'm actually going somewhere, like on a walk or run, I can get by on just listening to music but when I'm using a treadmill or hula hooping and just staying in one spot time seems to drag on forever so I've gotten really into listening to music AND playing games. I've been really into Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp and Plague Inc. lately. Anyone else? What are some good apps to pass the time?
[Other] Family Christmas
/u/throwaway002300 [25F | 5’3 | CW 102 | BMI 18 | GW ???]
Created: Sat Dec 16 20:14:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kbjfi/family_christmas/
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Tonight my husband and I had Christmas with my family since we will be traveling to spend Christmas day with his family in TN. My parents cook a big meal with prime rib and sides, plus sugary alcoholic drinks. (I was DD for my husband so I only had one drink). I did not restrict, and I ate a lot of the food (to which my family made comments on how much I ate). All while my parents made comments about how small I was, etc. We live close, so I could have purged when we got home, and would have under normal circumstances, but I just didn’t. To sum this all up, I have conflicting thoughts/feelings and am mentally kind of a mess. I should have eaten less or purged or whatever. But the point is that regardless of what I did or could have done, that doubt and internal struggle is still there.
[Discussion] Does anyone NOT recall the first time they purged?
/u/sp0ngeb0bcirclepants [5'4.5" | 132lb | 22.66 | gw: <100lb | 22F]
Created: Sat Dec 16 20:01:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kbh9e/does_anyone_not_recall_the_first_time_they_purged/
---
(Sorry mods, on mobile, please flair)
I feel like everyone has a "first time" story and I just .... don't recall? I mean it was during a traumatic restrictive phase and I don't remember much from the time... My best guess is in the shower during my sophomore year of highschool? but that's honestly just a guess...
Does anyone else just not have a memory of their first time???
[Rant/Rave] Strange motivation
/u/SapphoFangirl
Created: Sat Dec 16 18:48:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kb4h6/strange_motivation/
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I get motivation from weird places, latest one being a really uncomfortable situation with an obnoxious drunk straight guy. I can't get it to stop replaying in my head, and I've found restricting to be a lot easier. I guess that's the one benefit of mild unreasonable trauma ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
[Help] This Might Sound Dumb... What Can I Do to Make Myself Feel Better After a Purge?
/u/ArgosaxDE
Created: Sat Dec 16 18:44:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kb3ug/this_might_sound_dumb_what_can_i_do_to_make/
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Very rarely does purging feel good, instead it feels like I just y'know barfed out my guts.
Is there anything I can do to make myself feel better? My strategy after purging right now is to just sit there for a couple minutes and drink water then maybe some Gatorade (after furiously washing out my mouth and throat).
I'm about to do it at work (pathetic yeah) and I really can't be feeling crappy the rest of the shift, especially since I do a lot of lifting.
[Rant/Rave] I should probably just browse a pro suicide sub instead of here
/u/SpaceWhale88 [Height 5'3 | CW 180ish | HW/LW 197/118lbs | GW 136]
Created: Sat Dec 16 18:22:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kazcn/i_should_probably_just_browse_a_pro_suicide_sub/
---
I am so fat and disgusting I wish I was dead. Everything I want in life is on hold because I am so fat. I just cant lose all this weight. I am so lonely. All my friends are partnered up, getting married, or having kids. Here I am working a job with a shitty boss where my paid holidays just got taken away just in time for Christmas, I am so incompetent I fail at every job interview, I am too fat and ugly for online dating, it's Saturday night and I have nothing to do while all my friends are bursting with their amazing lives, I tried for a solid 20 mins to purge but I couldn't, my parents are disappointed that there's no hope of me making any grandkids, every single day is just about surviving to the next day with no hope of anything ever getting better.
I know my family would be upset if I died but honestly why should I keep suffering just to make them feel okay? When do I get to finally do something for myself? I dont want to try to kill myself and be maimed or disabled-- I want to make sure 100% that I die I just cant find a way that is so definite.
[Rant/Rave] My mental health and other people
/u/Jitterly [164 cm | too much | F]
Created: Sat Dec 16 18:13:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kaxbr/my_mental_health_and_other_people/
---
The older I get the more pieces of my past start to fit together in who I am now. When I was in preschool, my friends then would exclude me and tease me and any time I said anything about it, they'd treat me like I was annoying. Like I was too needy for wanting to feel like their real friend. We'd play games or pretend to be characters from tv shows and they always made me "play pretend" as whatever chatacter they hated most and they'd belittle me all the time. I was a total doormat. It definitely fizzled out after kindergarten and I wouldn't say I ever really got bullied, but in a lot of my personal relationships now I realize many of my issues stem from how mean my friends were to me when I was really young. I remember my best friend spreading rumors about me, doing what she could to make me cry, and I'd go back to her because she was all I had. She made me miserable all the time because she knew I could get away with it. She made me feel annoying. She sided with my bullies from preschool. And then it happened again in middle school. I made friends with this girl, had a huge crush on her, and she used me. She talked down to me, complained about me all the time, and made me feel like shit. Eventually I got the nerve to cut her off, but god it hurt to just be such a nuisance.
Now I just feel like I'm constantly annoying. I'm insecure in all of my friendships, terrified I'm going to get pushed to the back and humiliated like I was when I was a child. And it becomes this self punishing thing. I'll refuse to take care of myself because when I don't eat I don't have the energy to run my mouth, talk to people, and be a burden. Sometimes life just seems easier if I can lock myself in my room, watch vegans on YouTube, and forget how unfit I am for human society.
I'm just always scared I'm annoying. I don't feel fit to be among other humans at all, and sometimes I just feel like I'm destined to be alone.
I try to pride myself in the fact that since attempting recovery from my eating disorder I've become more social and made friends and am therefore happier. But there's still this feeling nagging at me all the time, that I'm bad and ungrateful and annoying. I just want to punish myself again before I get my hopes up that I can actually mean something to other people. I want to break my spirit again myself before other people do it to me. I'm terrified everything is just one cruel joke and people will stop talking to me. I'm so sick of being the annoying friend, I'm so sick of being a burden. I won't talk to anyone ever again if it means I can get rid of this feeling.
Sorry this is long and might not totally belong here, its just not something I feel comfortable sharing with anyone I know irl. I'm so embarrassed I grew up letting people do that to me, and I guess now I have to live with the repercussions and paranoia.
[Help] I Binge Ate and Now My Stomach/Rib Area Has A Sharp Pain
/u/bunntendo [Height5'7 | CW132 | BMI21 | WeightLost30 | GenderNB]
Created: Sat Dec 16 18:10:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kawv1/i_binge_ate_and_now_my_stomachrib_area_has_a/
---
is my stomach just trying to digest everything? i cant move right now because it hurts so bad and im just praying for a bowel movement very soon
ive eaten so much and im not sure what to do besides let it digest, im thinking about fasting and hard exercising for the next week to purge it because i took in 3000+ calories probably
[Rant/Rave] Why can't I lose my appetite when I'm sick like most people aaaaa
/u/TSputnik [5'3" | CW 129 | HW 210 | UGW 100]
Created: Sat Dec 16 18:10:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kaws6/why_cant_i_lose_my_appetite_when_im_sick_like/
---
My boyfriend caught a hardcore flu, and then 'shared' it with me because we're close like that.
We've been sick all week, and the whole time I keep watching my bf gingerly take two bites of food and then leave it, because he "has no appetite".
Meanwhile, being stuck inside all day means BINGING EXTRAVAGANZA for me because apparently food is the only thing that entertains me when I'm sick.
I'm pissed off cuz I'm probably gaining a bunch of weight but I don't wanna bother my bf with that right now either, he feels shitty enough already with this flu
tldr: being sick makes me want to eat everything and I hate it
[Help] Just broke a two day fast
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 | CW 141 | 23.74| F]
Created: Sat Dec 16 17:36:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kaqpi/just_broke_a_two_day_fast/
---
I didn’t eat dinner Thursday night, didn’t eat anything yesterday, and today I didn’t eat anything either until my boyfriend found out and we went to eat Chinese. I ate like 600 calories which makes me feel kind of sad but that means I ate like 300 calories a day the past two days which is pretty good right? Can someone help me feel better about this I’m really sad I had to eat. I wasn’t even that hungry..... fuck this. I should have lied about what I had ate. And now I don’t even get to weight myself before ending the fast!!!!
[Other] My new favorite thing in the world 😱
/u/anonymousalmondmilk
Created: Sat Dec 16 17:26:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kaos4/my_new_favorite_thing_in_the_world/
---
https://i.redd.it/v9q2pg5xmd401.jpg
[Discussion] Bathroom scale.
/u/Sarahlump
Created: Sat Dec 16 16:52:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kahzc/bathroom_scale/
---
I'm going out to get some bicycle equipment today, any tips on also getting a bathroom scale?
[Discussion] How was the first time you purged and how is it now?
/u/thingrave [170cm | fat | he/him]
Created: Sat Dec 16 16:47:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7kah48/how_was_the_first_time_you_purged_and_how_is_it/
---
I don't remember the first time I did it, but I do remember that I asked my friend how, and she said that she wouldn't tell me, but I insisted until she told me. I failed when I tried though. lol
All the times that I purged involved tears, a lot of pain and discomfort and getting everything messy. It didn't happen many times and now I don't do it anymore, fortunately. What about you guys?
You're welcome to tell us remarkable events involving purging as well.
[Rant/Rave] Feelings while watching tv shows/movies
/u/moncai-mama
Created: Sat Dec 16 15:38:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ka2xy/feelings_while_watching_tv_showsmovies/
---
Most actresses are thin, and pretty.
Im thin, but its only to make up for my ugly face.
I can get as thin and bony as positive but my face will never improve.
My self pity for the day.
Oh yeah Im watching Friends, Monica is a 10/10
[Help] Accidental Fasting?
/u/girltiredofwaiting [5'6" | CW: 240.1 | SW: 244.3 | GW: 130| 21F]
Created: Sat Dec 16 15:21:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k9zid/accidental_fasting/
---
So I just got out of finals yesterday and woke up today and realized I haven't eaten anything since about 10:30 AM Central yesterday (!!), so about 30 hours ago. This is the first time I've ever fasted and I kinda want to keep going, but I have to drive ~10 hours tomorrow and I'm worried about that. Should I just try to fast through today and then eat something tomorrow morning, or is that too short of a time/it'll mess up my metabolism or something? Or am I worried about nothing and totally okay to drive that long on a fast?
[Intro] [Intro] Let's not talk of that, or the passing time.
/u/lustforgrace [5'2" | CW 121lbs | LW 65lbs | GW 78lbs | BMI 22.93 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 16 14:53:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k9tfh/intro_lets_not_talk_of_that_or_the_passing_time/
---
Hi, /r/proed. I'm happy to have found this place. Most similar places are quite monotonous these days. I've been in and out of such communities since 2007 or 2008, and I've really noticed the decline. I barely touch any of the forums apart from Cerulean Butterfly, and the occasional glance at Tohwir and PASS to see if anyone's still posting.
I grew up with ARFID before it was a recognised diagnosis, and I got a lot of shit for it. It started to wear off around the time I was ten or eleven, but after that it was straight into long fasts and excessive self-awareness. Because I couldn't control my spending trouble, my hoarding trouble, my addiction trouble, and was too deep in denial about my bigger mental health problems to do anything about any of it, I turned to controlling more immediate bodily matters, and - you know how it goes.
When I was 13 I was diagnosed with anorexia and packed off to IP. IP was absolute hell, but what'd you expect? When I was 17 I was finally pronounced "in remission", but from the ages of 16 to 19 I had bulimic tendencies, although never diagnosed, which was really plain dumb luck given how much my family noticed.
Now I'm nearly 21 and relapsing a bit with the fasting/restricting/starving stuff. I feel safer to lose weight now that I'm an adult and can't be forced into treatment so easily. That's all I can think to say, so hi.
[Rant/Rave] WHY THE HELL DO I EAT SO MUCH
/u/rocksnowls
Created: Sat Dec 16 13:55:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k9h28/why_the_hell_do_i_eat_so_much/
---
Why whyWHY WHY WHY WHY WHY? WHY?
I lose weight whenever i have work. I work retail and am paid to walk around for hours on end and not eat--it's absolutely perfect. Whenever i have off i STUFF MY FACE TO ITS LIMIT AND GAIN BACK EVERYTHING I LOST AT WORK. Usually these binges are non-solids (icecream, chocolate chips, ect. the kinda stuff that turns liquid in ur tum) so i simply purge it out but these past few days off it's been solids so I can't even undo what i ate. My arms are the flabbiest i've ever seen/felt them and i wanna do whatever it takes to make em rail thin
I godamm hate this whydoieat why do i eat whydoieatwhydoieatwhythehelldoieatwhywhywhywhyyyyyy. I'm seriously considering talking with my employers to see if they'd let me work 7 days a week just so I don't have any days off. I'm just so damn sick of losing/gaining the same 3 lbs over and over and over. I wanna stop eating forever but knowing me these blackout binges on my days off will continue forever
tfw u need to purge but the bathroom is crowded
/u/sammythekitten [5'0" | 120lbs | 24.68 | more like weight gained | f]
Created: Sat Dec 16 13:55:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k9h1b/tfw_u_need_to_purge_but_the_bathroom_is_crowded/
---
(on mobile, cant flair. rant/rave)
my hubby took me to a restaurant and i ate too much and now i need to purge but this is a HELLA crowded place and theres a bunch of people in here which is making my anxiety worse, which, in turn, is making my need to purge worse, and now i just feel nauseous.
[Rant/Rave] "Recovery"/harm reduction is going really well! (well, sort of)
/u/ci-fre [5' | 70 lb | ~14.4 | F | gaining/semi-recovery]
Created: Sat Dec 16 13:48:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k9fjq/recoveryharm_reduction_is_going_really_well_well/
---
I hope I don't sound arrogant for this type of post.
I sort of figured my life out more this year, I guess... I think I'm doing a lot better with my mental health issues right now even though physically I can't say the same since I lost a lot of weight.
So this year had a lot of new stuff for me as soon as I started my first year of college. Anyway, I had a really hard time concentrating on studying for *anything* at first and I felt really shitty.
I'm really relieved that so far I've managed to raise my intake from around 700 to around 1100-1200 (well, that will be *soon*). I no longer exercise for as long as I did before, and I feel genuinely content with the structure of my life now. I don't feel as weak as I used to. I'm really proud of the fact that I'm planning on gaining at least a few pounds right now.
On the academic/college/social front I'm really relieved I was able to come up with a solution for that, I guess. I figured out my major (we don't really declare until later) plans and I think I legitimately have interests in life now. I also noticed I was an extreme introvert and I realized my true hobbies were probably just writing fiction and reading stuff on my laptop. I realized I forced myself too much to be social before and that it was stressing the fuck out of me.
I guess I'm still really abnormal. I don't think any professional would want to really call me recovered, since I don't feel comfortable gaining until a BMI in the healthy range. I don't eat anything besides protein/nutrition bars and vegan yogurt since I don't like my life to be too complicated or else I get stressed.
But I guess, I'm okay now. And I feel like I just escaped something horrible.
I hope this type of post is allowed. And er, if you want any advice (even though I'm definitely not perfect) don't hesitate to PM me, I guess!
[Rant/Rave] Got a stomach bug and was THRILLED. Wish it had lasted longer.
/u/whiskeycrackers
Created: Sat Dec 16 13:32:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k9c5g/got_a_stomach_bug_and_was_thrilled_wish_it_had/
---
A baby I am around a lot got sick with Rotavirus, which is a pretty aggressive stomach bug. In kids, it can last a week. In adults, it's a 24-48 bug. Rotavirus is highly contagious, so of course, I got it. To be honest, I was looking forward to it.
No laxative compares. No purging session has ever come close. I expelled from both ends constantly from Wednesday night til Friday morning. I barely ate. Saltines, diet ginger ale.
Then I got on the scale and I've only lost a pound??? I know I'm super dehydrated, so that might be part of it, but seriously wtf.
I wish it had lasted longer. I'd be miserable right now, but I'd also be thinner.
What do you guys do for fun?
/u/digital2939
Created: Sat Dec 16 12:38:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k90o9/what_do_you_guys_do_for_fun/
---
I keep binging when I'm bored and it doesn't help that it's the weekend. If I binge one more time I'm offing myself so I really need some activities guys.
[Intro] [Intro] Anyone else getting married in 2018?
/u/AnaBrideToBe
Created: Sat Dec 16 12:38:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k90j8/intro_anyone_else_getting_married_in_2018/
---
Hi! I'm getting married next year and it has seriously triggered my eating disorder. I feel like I have to lose 100 pounds or I'll be to embarrassed to stand up in front of people. I don't have 100 pounds to lose but that's kind of the point of the disorder isn't it? I look forward to participating in this community and hopefully finding people who can relate!
[Rant/Rave] husband problems
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 17BMI | -165 | 30F | AU]
Created: Sat Dec 16 11:22:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k8kaq/husband_problems/
---
This might be all over the place, I don't know. in the last few weeks my husband has become increasing obsessed about my weight. hes constantly blaming like every headache or whatever on my eating habits.
That wouldnt be so bad if it didnt come with the wrath of hell. Almost every day he says I'm too thin and in January we are going to "see someone" (dunno who he plans on seeing) I understand that hes constantly worried. I get it. But to this degree that he thinks he can control what goes in my mouth (he wont stop asking what I ate for lunch etc) and things like yesterday he came home and said he bought me a mini steak to eat tomorrow?? ("youre not getting enough meat/protein etc")
I know hes worried. But hes coming about it in such a terrible way. I've even made a tag for that stuff on my tumblr (some conversations etc) http://axiscodes.tumblr.com/tagged/problems
The other day he put his (big) hand on my thigh and was like "god I can almost wrap my hand around your leg (which isnt true he just fits his hand on my thigh)
Another time he called it disgusting because of like my collarbones.
I'm really not sure what to do. This isnt like, hide it from your parents and friends stuff.. I'm really lost. I see a psychiatrist for bipolar disorder and she knows about my ED and stuff, obviously hates it, tells me I need to stop (shes very kind) and he wants to come with me to a session. Ugh :| Which would be ganging up on me to stop probably.
[Discussion] December 16th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 16 11:18:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k8jgs/december_16th_2017_question_of_the_day/
---
What do you find irresistible?
[Help] No guilt towards food anymore
/u/practyl
Created: Sat Dec 16 11:17:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k8j3o/no_guilt_towards_food_anymore/
---
History: A/N restrictive subtype in 2007 (14 yrs old) for around 8 months I think?
Recovered with some thoughts in the background
Relapsed at age 19 for 4 months with A/N restrictive subtype, but then I had my first ever binge which later became habitual because I was now restricting super low (500< calories a day). I used to just restrict intuitively.
So now that I’m 24, almost 25 I’ve been stuck in this awful binge/restrict cycle (with some bulimic phases in the mix) and the longest restricting streak I’ve had since age 19 was 40 days that I did in July this year and it took every ounce of willpower to do by the end of it.
Now I just postpone restriction and food gives me this type of buzz like I really want to eat and would suppress all negative motions and guilt towards food that I think I don’t get anymore from how much I’ve suppressed the guilt.
I know it’s an awful thought but I would kill to have that restrictive mindset I got before I began to binge. The feeling that I’m under control and I can refuse any food I don’t want, having no problem giving up certain foods, and knowing exactly what to eat. I miss it, now I have to force myself to restrict and it’s hard as hell.
I’m getting older and I still don’t have the body I want. I’m going to therapy now but I feel like I can’t recover until I reach my goal weight.
What can I do to get out of this food-obsessed mindset? :(
[Help] 15 pounds in A WEEK fml
/u/takayl [5'10 | 178 | 25 | -20 | 18F]
Created: Sat Dec 16 10:47:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k8co6/15_pounds_in_a_week_fml/
---
I posted last night about weighing myself after my test today and I’m fucking 195 pounds!! Last Friday when I weighed myself I was 177 I know I ate a lot but HOW THE FUCK is this possible :( also my hips near where you have saddlebags hurt like is the fat literally just accumulating there and making it painful??? I wanna die lol I’m going home today and my parents shit on my weight when I was 180 over thanksgiving, can’t imagine what they’ll say now
What is your relationship with your therapist like?
/u/newtoskate [5'8| CW:128.9lbs | BMI:19.6 | 3rd Relapse: 5lbs | F]
Created: Sat Dec 16 10:36:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k8adf/what_is_your_relationship_with_your_therapist_like/
---
My therapist and I just exchanged Christmas gifts both in the hope of surprising each other :) I feel bad for my therapist as she is such a lovely person and I love talking to her, but I know I will never stop trying to lose weight, no matter what she tells me :/
[Help] How to not be a bitch when restricting
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Sat Dec 16 10:35:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k8a6l/how_to_not_be_a_bitch_when_restricting/
---
I’m in this phase where restricting honestly feels easy but I have this awful problem where whenever I get low blood sugar I get so ducking irritable... anyone else struggle with this/how do you deal?
Like I’m over the whole nauseous/sick from not eating thing I literally just get so hangry 😭 helpppp
[Goal] I know this won't last because I still need to do my liquid diet today, but it's been years since I've seen this. Now if I could get down 10 more lbs I'd be super happy.
/u/skydiver89 [skinny fat AF at 5'4" and 140 lbs]
Created: Sat Dec 16 10:24:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k87zs/i_know_this_wont_last_because_i_still_need_to_do/
---
https://imgur.com/6ZmvUTk
[Discussion] Anyone else ever feel like a fraud because they don’t really eat all that healthy (i.e. all fruits and veg)
/u/anonymousalmondmilk
Created: Sat Dec 16 10:20:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k8777/anyone_else_ever_feel_like_a_fraud_because_they/
---
I wouldn’t say what I eat (when I do eat) is horrible, but I definitely don’t shy away from things I know are processed or artificial if they have lower calorie counts. I kind of even like pre-packaged food because I know all the calories and can measure it out easily.
I know a lot of people with disordered eating are afraid of anything processed that isn’t fruit, veg, or lean protein. But personally, I find myself eating “artificial” things of that’s what can get me closest to what I’m craving and have a lower calorie count.
[Discussion] Outside of your ED, what sort of goals do you have?
/u/dbt-girl [5'2" | 119 ]
Created: Sat Dec 16 10:08:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k84fo/outside_of_your_ed_what_sort_of_goals_do_you_have/
---
Hey guys,
So New Years is approaching, and while I don’t really believe in resolutions, I do believe that short term commitments help us reach long-term goals. So what are you thinking about? What are some things you’re aiming toward that for once don’t have to do with calorie counts or numbers on the scale?
For me, I overspent this month. ‘Tis December, after all. My billing cycle starts over today on my credit card. I would like to spend less, earn a little more, and be able to pay it off in January.
I’d also like to take at least one class next semester. If I don’t, I need to get on a plane and take my certification for ESL teaching.
It’s the holidays and I think we could all use a distraction from the ED. Hopefully no one is upset that this is slightly off-topic, but I think focusing on our goals outside of ED help avoid being consumed by the ED. Thanks x.
[Other] When you promised your bf you'd eat something today but he didn't specify amounts
/u/nicfrae [5'7 | CW 125 | BMI 19.6 | GW 115 | UGW 98 | - 80 | F24]
Created: Sat Dec 16 10:07:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k84bp/when_you_promised_your_bf_youd_eat_something/
---
https://imgur.com/a/Z9bfR
[Intro] Not rock bottom, but a turning point.....
/u/dino_bones72 [5’3” | 130lbs | 22 | 13lbs | Female ]
Created: Sat Dec 16 09:53:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k8126/not_rock_bottom_but_a_turning_point/
---
I went on my office Christmas lunch yesterday. I realised I had a serious problem when I had a panic attack trying to guesstimate the number of calories in my meal. I was also drinking - I have max 2 beers per year, but I went all out yesterday - so really I don’t know why I was concerned with the calories in my food. The beer was the real issue! So in the end, I ended up at 4,000 calories yesterday (and I purged most of them as well).
The turning point was sitting on the toilet floor crying, after purging out some really nice food, and hearing a senior colleague call out “it’s ok. Let’s talk about this. I’ve been here. There’s a way forwards”.
The panic I was in over the calorie content of my lunch was insane. The purging because I couldn’t be sure of the numbers was insane. I checked my app, and I’ve been restricting so hard recently that even with a 4,000 calorie day my daily average over the last month was still 890. THAT’S INSANE. And that’s only counting calories in. I’m restricting super hard and then purging the minuscule amounts I am eating.
My colleague wants to help me. Part of me is glad the secret is out. Part of me wants to hang on to my disorder a little longer. I’m more concerned at the moment with how many people in the office know I’ve got a problem. I don’t want to be *that* girl
Lurker posting
/u/onepostforme
Created: Sat Dec 16 09:50:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k80f0/lurker_posting/
---
I've been fasting for two days and the scale has not changed. I tested it with two 8 pound weights and it was accurate so I know it's me and not the scale😕 guess I'll just have to stay at it
[Discussion] tbh this is a good form of birth control
/u/lavenderbruises [5'9"|CW 115| GW 100| BMI 16.74| 19F]
Created: Sat Dec 16 09:47:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k7zwz/tbh_this_is_a_good_form_of_birth_control/
---
not enough body fat to get my period = no getting pregnant?
yay
science people please discuss
[Discussion] Xmas is really stressful for a lot of us. Want to play a game with me where we list something we like about ourselves?
/u/quoth_the_phoenix
Created: Sat Dec 16 09:37:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k7xur/xmas_is_really_stressful_for_a_lot_of_us_want_to/
---
I’ll help you brainstorm if you want. You all are great. ❤️💕
I struggle with self esteem but here are mine. I don’t want to list anything body related right now but you can if you want. Here goes. Things I like about me:
1. I am smart. I am proud of my college degree and look forward to going back to grad school.
2. I am funny and have a good sense of humor that my family and friends appreciate.
3. I am kind and try my best to be nice to everyone bc I know how important it is.
Your turn! Happy holidays and stay safe!! 💕😃💕
[Goal] Finally reached this milestone this morning.
/u/ParanoidPancreas [5'11" | CW 153 | GW 148 | UGW 138 | 25F]
Created: Sat Dec 16 09:36:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k7xlu/finally_reached_this_milestone_this_morning/
---
https://imgur.com/tOutm0S
Stressed = ED Coping
/u/321Model [5'4| CW: 190 | GW: 150 | 30's/F]
Created: Sat Dec 16 08:24:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k7jcy/stressed_ed_coping/
---
I've been incredibly stressed the last few days more than usual (I'm sure many of you are going through the same).
This is for several reasons:
1- Money. I'm currently the only person working in my household. My husband has been out of work for 7 months. In that time we've had to borrow money from family. I don't feel ashamed, but grateful and scared at how long this is going to need to go on. Luckily I'm getting in a good groove at my job and I'm liking it more than I did (a.k.a. not as torturous, lol).
2-My husband smokes weed, mostly for his anxiety/PTSD. He's a veteran. I don't have a problem with this, but he does it all day moreso recently (wake & bake, etc, at least 4-5 bowls a day). It is legal here, but since most jobs test for drugs, his prospect for employers is therefore limited. He could get urine from a friend if needed, but that's a bridge he hasn't had the need to cross yet. I worry he won't find work for a longer period of time because of this. I also know he's using it to cope with depression of not having work. The compounding issue is that we don't have a lot of money to spend as much as we did on weed. He's spent $60 in the last week alone. I've talked to him before about just smoking when he needs it (and not all day), but he's back to doing it after maybe 1 week of trying that. I don't know what to say to him to help. I feel like no matter what I say he's going to blow up at me and say he needs it, etc. We're in a sensitive spot right now. He blows up at me verbally lately for offering help. Also, I know, who am I to say when he needs it, right? I understand that, but I see the downward spiral. He also is back to smoking a pack of cigarettes a day and not getting much sleep and drinking energy drinks. He's a mess. I don't know what to do.
3- B/P - I was b/p free for a week until 2 days ago. This stress about money and my husband set me off. I had about 4 vegetable sandwiches, dry bran cereal and purged. Then did it again yesterday and it wasn't even a lot of food. I wish it were and I got the bang for my buck. Then again we can't afford much food these days, so I can't binge like I once did because every penny counts. It's a double edged sword. I should be happy I have little food to binge, but binging is my coping mechanism. I feel like I'm immobile and I have an itch I can't scratch. AAAHHH!
Thanks for reading. xo
tl;dr: Money problems + husband problems = B/P + don't have as much $ for b/p = additional frustration.
[Rant/Rave] Christmas Party
/u/arandomnamebcimlazy [5’5| CW: 142| BMI: 23.6| -84| Female|]
Created: Sat Dec 16 08:22:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k7izd/christmas_party/
---
So, I have to go to dinner with some friends in a couple of hours and then we’re going back to her place for a mini Christmas party. She told us that she made a lot of snacks like caramel brownies, white chocolate popcorn, and peppermint bark, as well as other things. I am so nervous right now and I’m even considering not going. I just feel like I’m gonna get over there and become incredibly overwhelmed around all of that food. All three of them are the type of people to actively encourage you to eat what you want and their excuses are, “It’s the holidays. Indulge a little.” I don’t wanna indulge a little. Ugh.
[Intro] New user here.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Dec 16 07:47:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k7crt/new_user_here/
---
[deleted]
[Help] Tips for easing yourself off of laxatives?
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW:142 |CW:123 |20.6 |GW:110 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 16 07:16:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k77id/tips_for_easing_yourself_off_of_laxatives/
---
So for the past couple of months I’ve been using laxatives every day. I started taking them when I was first heavily restricting and couldn’t poop at all.
It’s been about 5 months and 2 dulcolax always does the trick so luckily I haven’t ever had to up the dose.
I know laxatives can wreck your insides and are generally not good for you so I would like to start cutting down on them until I don’t need them. I’ve read a lot of articles about basically lowering the dose each week until you’re off them and was wondering if anyone else has experience with this method.
Also any tips on foods or drinks that will help me to poop without laxatives would be greatly appreciated!
[Help] Good and bad things -- how to stop drinking on the weekends
/u/bunkbedsex
Created: Sat Dec 16 06:44:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k72bu/good_and_bad_things_how_to_stop_drinking_on_the/
---
y'all.. as much as I LOVE getting plastered like the rest of you(or not).. every time I drink I just immediately want to come home and eat 10 sandwiches and peanut butter straight out of the jar, and 6 brownies.
I tell myself, "oh, I'm just drunk, I'll eat better when I'm sober" but holy shit.. last night I only drank 1 glass of mulled wine at a holiday party so I didn't binge but I still came home and had that mindset. My binge wasn't too bad.. it was a mini almond joy and a clementine, which really isn't that bad, but STILL.
How do you all still maintain friendships and go out when you know the night's just going to be filled with empty calories? I am struggling.
[Help] Is it okay to get blood work done after restricting a lot for the past week?
/u/vitalogy95
Created: Sat Dec 16 05:46:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k6tul/is_it_okay_to_get_blood_work_done_after/
---
I had getting my blood drawn for tests and I have to go this morning to get a lot of tests done for my yearly physical. I’ve been restricting like crazy this week so I’m worried that would make me more prone to getting woozy or something.
But I’ve also read that as long as I’m well hydrated I should be fine. It’s a fasting blood test so I can’t eat anything either.
Am I overly worried?
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! December 16, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Dec 16 05:11:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k6pd8/stupid_questions_saturday_december_16_2017/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for December 16, 2017.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! December 16, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Dec 16 05:10:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k6p96/daily_food_diary_december_16_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 16, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] [rant] Me : I hate myself and I want to be left alone to starve for days
/u/pikapika350
Created: Sat Dec 16 05:09:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k6p5x/rant_me_i_hate_myself_and_i_want_to_be_left_alone/
---
Also me : *eats chocolate for breakfast *
[Other] Just finished a 48 hr fast
/u/jizzymt [5'8"|149lbs|-20|BMI 22.6|F|GW3: 140|UGW: 120?]
Created: Sat Dec 16 04:47:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k6mdq/just_finished_a_48_hr_fast/
---
And I feel great. Didn't know where else to post this!! I almost feel high and it's great I love this feeling. Keep getting light headed when I stand up which is the only reason why I'm breaking it.
[Rant/Rave] Longest fucking plateau
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 17BMI | -165 | 30F | AU]
Created: Sat Dec 16 04:36:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k6l40/longest_fucking_plateau/
---
I’ve been plateauing for almost 2 months it’s driving me insane. I don’t know what to do. It’s fucking me up. Every morning I’m preparing myself that nothing has changed on the scale and it’s making me insane ..: I’m losing it.
I feel like going ballistic and my husbands on me about my ED bring worried that I’m getting too thin he’s comparing my legs to a 12 year old but I haven’t even lost any weight and he won’t let up on it .
Sorry rant
[Rant/Rave] literally crazy-skinny
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 80 lbs | 15.13 | -27 | f]
Created: Sat Dec 16 04:00:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k6gvn/literally_crazyskinny/
---
does anyone else find them self... unable to find them self? i've become lost in random adrenaline rushes, irrational and occasionally violent anger, depressive episodes for no reason at all, and paralytic anxiety... and it's all in response to my recent weightless. it's happened before the last time i was flirting with BMIs of 15, 14, and eventually 13. It's like i've gotten to damn small everything is scary.
I can hear everyone around me noticing it, too. that i'm just so *unhealthy*. I'm not the kind of skinny people envy. i'm the kind of skinny people whisper about, worry about.
I weight the same as I did when i was twelve.
I've watched everyone I knew grow up, and i'm still stuck her, terrified, tiny, and perpetually a petulant child.
[Help] how long does senna lax usually work for (24 hrs, more than a day straight?)
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18| f | 22]
Created: Sat Dec 16 03:25:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k6d08/how_long_does_senna_lax_usually_work_for_24_hrs/
---
i'm planning to take some this weekend, i can't remember how long laxatives were effective the last time i used them but i think it was like...more than a one-time deal? like pretty much had to hang out by the bathroom all day. i'm kinda worried about this lasting more than 24 hrs. anyone know how long senna lax usually works for?
(also wow i've been away for a while, still restricting, still disordered as fuck, seeing a counselor about it which ended up being kinda validating but in a good-for-my-e.d. way, not a good-for-me way. nice to be back here honestly)
Recovery update
/u/bethanl [5'3 37.6kg 14.7 BMI ]
Created: Sat Dec 16 02:41:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k67xb/recovery_update/
---
Hi lovelies,
I posted about a month ago about my decision to recover and I just wanted to post an honest update for anyone thinking about it.
I moved home and upped my calories to stop me losing, but I still didn't eat freely - just the minimum my dietitian told me to, so I wouldn't feel greedy or out of control. Physically I've been getting better and stronger, which was great, but I was still stuck in that half life we all know so well. Journaling and being open with friends and family helped a lot, but none of it could cure me.
Things really turned around this weekend - I had a trip to Germany for my birthday, that I'd been restricting for for months so I could try cake and hotdogs and wine and everything I'd been missing. Except I could never quite let go. I always settled for the salad or the black coffee, because I was saving room for tomorrow. It was still a great trip, but it made me realise that tomorrow is a lie Ana will tell you.
The ONLY time for recovery is this second - doesn't matter if you just ate, or you have a big dinner out tomorrow. Secondly, I realised that no-one could save me but myself. I thought it was a cliche, but I'm doing this because I'm learning to love myself and I want to live again! Recovery is scary and messy and exciting, but you have to throw yourself into it. I so badly want to enjoy Christmas, not be the miserable skeleton staring at the chocolates from the corner.
Sorry for the long post, but from a total stranger I love you all, and I so hope just one of you decides to join me here. Message me any time with any questions, I'll be totally brutally honest about the good and the bad.
Merry Christmas everyone
Bethan
Xxx
[Help] Special appearances from: a few vertebrae, the obviously lying and confused bathroom scale, lanugo, and every blood vessel
/u/glorydaisy [5'3 | CW 118 | UGW 100]
Created: Sat Dec 16 02:23:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k65zp/special_appearances_from_a_few_vertebrae_the/
---
I just wanna know why I can see a bunch of veins on my face?? Just wondering. Anybody else seeing lots of veins? And don't tell me to see a doctor. Be serious.
For context, I haven't eaten in two days.
[Rant/Rave] Woke up and binged
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 111 | 20.3 | -24 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 16 01:54:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k62jv/woke_up_and_binged/
---
Mid beginning my daily downfall to chocolate I stopped myself, spit it out, and said fuck no I'm not doing this. I'm at 600 calories for the day after continuing with my healthy breakfast, and my goal is 800 a day, but as long as I don't eat any more sweets today I'm going to consider it a success because every victory of this battle should be celebrated and stopping on my binge should be recognized even if I go over calories today because it could have been so much more!!
Be kind to yourselves, even when you mess up <3
I've started spitting. How could this potentially backfire?
/u/letstryforkarma
Created: Sat Dec 16 01:47:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k61s4/ive_started_spitting_how_could_this_potentially/
---
I'd been binging for 3 years straight. Started pursuing treatment this year and for some reason have been able to shift away from binging and more towards dieting (read: restricting). My doc isn't happy with my "dieting".
I am extremely honest with them at the program. I wanted to argue that my "dieting" was warrented because I am obese. But I've added some ED behavior recently: spitting. So i can't deny that I'm not better, as my doc would agree.
So, for those more experienced. Can spitting be a slippery slope?
I do not see myself purging for various reasons. But is there something else I'm overlooking?
I avoided binging badly tonight because i spit? But, uh,..even though i feel good about it, i know i shouldn't because it's a part of my ED.
So what now?
[Rant/Rave] Weight rules my life
/u/takayl [5'10 | 178 | 25 | -20 | 18F]
Created: Sat Dec 16 01:38:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k60ut/weight_rules_my_life/
---
I love how every ED diagnosis tool is like “is your self-perception dependent on how much you weigh?” Because I literally thought that was how everyone was!! I fasted all last week but had a really bad binge this weekend after getting high and I’ve been massively overeating (not binging but craving and eating SO MUCH JUNK) this week because of final exams. I have my most important final tomorrow and all I can think about is how I have to weigh myself after because I don’t wanna ruin my mood before the test and because I have to know just how badly I fucked up. And I’m flying home tomorrow and my parents are the most triggering people ever I once casually mentioned how I used to purge all my food and they said “But you weren’t even skinny then”. Sorry just had to rant because of fucking course my weight and food are more important than the final exam I take tomorrow that determines my grade in biochem/my med school chances.
[Discussion] If you had a 600 calorie daily budget, what would you plan to eat to get the biggest bang?
/u/married_to_a_reddito
Created: Sat Dec 16 01:15:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k5y93/if_you_had_a_600_calorie_daily_budget_what_would/
---
[Rant/Rave] Binging when with the bf
/u/Canadascutestginger
Created: Sat Dec 16 00:16:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k5qzw/binging_when_with_the_bf/
---
So I find whenever I’m around my bf i tend to binge like crazy. Chips, vegan ice cream, fast food. You name it and I will eat as much of it as I can shove into my fat face. But this only seems to happen when I’m at his place. Or at least it happens way more frequently. Anyone else relate??? Any tips to stop these binges???
[Discussion] Ladies: What was your BMI when you lost your period, and when did you get it back?
/u/oniichandayo
Created: Sat Dec 16 00:16:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k5qyo/ladies_what_was_your_bmi_when_you_lost_your/
---
Just curious...
can anyone relate?
/u/NegligentLadylove
Created: Fri Dec 15 23:11:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k5i7m/can_anyone_relate/
---
does anyone else in this thread have an eating disorder that no longer is about their body, and how skinny they are? they just starve themselves because it’s just so engrained into their lifestyle at this point? you don’t really care to become “thinner” but the thought of gaining weight does scare you? i used to starve myself to become thin, now it’s more so a routine, habit, or something i do whenever im extremely distressed over something. wondering if anyone can relate?
[Discussion] How many of you plan what you are going to eat the day before?
/u/married_to_a_reddito
Created: Fri Dec 15 22:59:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k5gb2/how_many_of_you_plan_what_you_are_going_to_eat/
---
I'm curious. I wonder if doing that will help me to avoid binging and perhaps avoid obsessing over food. Do you just plan WHAT you're going to eat, or do you also plan WHEN you'll eat it?
[Other] Tried EC stacking for the first time this week.
/u/anonymousalmondmilk
Created: Fri Dec 15 22:32:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k5cd3/tried_ec_stacking_for_the_first_time_this_week/
---
Wow, this sub wasn’t kidding. It really works. It does give me a brief 20-ish min. period of anxiety when it starts kicking in, but it’s worth it to me.
A co-worker of mine handed me a huge, beautiful, homemade chocolate cupcake with buttercream frosting that his wife made.
I didn’t even want it. I even took a microscopic taste of the frosting. Nope. Tossed it.
It’s perfect for me to EC stack all day at work to not eat, then get to the gym around 7 to work out. Lately I’ve been having one small meal (300) or a Starbucks latte (~190-300) as my intake before the EC stack.
It’s 9:30 PM now and I haven’t eaten since 11 AM and am not even hungry. Going to try to get to 24 hours without eating before I let myself have my one meal tomorrow and then EC stack and go to the gym for 45 min.
I’m hoping I can keep this up.
[Rant/Rave] Just got this message from MFP!! I feel so accomplished haha
/u/girltiredofwaiting [5'6" | CW: 240.1 | SW: 244.3 | GW: 130| 21F]
Created: Fri Dec 15 22:11:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k58xk/just_got_this_message_from_mfp_i_feel_so/
---
https://imgur.com/a/V1Pd4
[Discussion] Does anyone else's parents love their ED?
/u/girltiredofwaiting [5'6" | CW: 240.1 | SW: 244.3 | GW: 130| 21F]
Created: Fri Dec 15 21:48:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k5574/does_anyone_elses_parents_love_their_ed/
---
So my freshman year of college I basically 'snapped' under stress+undiagnosed depression and anxiety and developed an ED and never ever ate more than 500 cal/day and I looked **amazing**, at my lowest I was 100 lbs at 5'6". Growing up in middle/high school my mom always told me I needed to eat less and I was getting 'bigger' and I believed her at the time and thought I was the fattest thing ever but looking back I was like 125 pounds.
I got into recovery and got back to a 'normal' weight after my first year and a half of college, then got super fat after that and am trying to get a hold of myself and stop being so disgusting again. The whole time I was gaining weight she'd ask me why I wouldn't "act more like I did freshman year" and try to get me to start heavily restricting again, and I'm home for Christmas break now and she definitely caught me throwing up the snack I ate but she hasn't said anything about it, I think she's happy I'm trying again.
I guess I just wanted to see if anyone else's parents are super gung ho about their ED haha
[Rant/Rave] A Christmas Miracle!
/u/PokemonJohto
Created: Fri Dec 15 21:23:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k518k/a_christmas_miracle/
---
So I just found out that I'm a complete joke to people. My fwb that I'm really close with told me that tonight he was going out with the guys and I wasn't invited. Lo and behold I open snapchat and he invited another girl. Now I can starve for the rest of the month due to depression and being a worthless piece of shit. Yay!
[Discussion] I can't stop watching Trisha Paytas on YouTube.
/u/skydiver89 [skinny fat AF at 5'4" and 140 lbs]
Created: Fri Dec 15 19:29:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k4hlh/i_cant_stop_watching_trisha_paytas_on_youtube/
---
While I sit here not even able to eat solid food and feeling lightheaded...I just can't get enough of it. I watch a lot of Trisha Paytas Mukbangs and I think she is gross, but at the same time I give her props for being able to eat that much food in front of a lot of people. I also am secretly jealous because I wish I could fucking binge and not give a fuck about my weight. I know she has a lot of mental health issues and obviously a binge eating disorder, but I can't stand her and at the same time, she's what's making me not binge. My thoughts of her are so confusing. Am I the only one that does this?
[Rant/Rave] I'm finally good at purging sober
/u/SpaceWhale88 [Height 5'3 | CW 180ish | HW/LW 197/118lbs | GW 136]
Created: Fri Dec 15 18:55:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k4bat/im_finally_good_at_purging_sober/
---
Should I be proud or ashamed? Usually I'd have to be at least two drinks in on an empty stomach, binge, purge. Many times I'd get drunk so I could purge with very little effort. Now I've been purging sober and I'm surprisingly "good" at it.
I recently quit OA and having a sponsor because a) I dont have a higher power or hope that things will get better and I dont think I ever will and b) I cant stop overeating and I'm not ready to stop purging and c) I kinda hope I die soon anyway.
Oral fixation fix?
/u/321Model [5'4| CW: 190 | GW: 150 | 30's/F]
Created: Fri Dec 15 18:26:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k4657/oral_fixation_fix/
---
Other than gum, any tips on healthy means of satisfying oral fixation? Most of the time I think I just want something in my mouth, not necessarily food, ya know?
[Rant/Rave] "Wow! She's actually eating!"
/u/heyitclaire [5'5 | 98 | 16.5 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 15 18:25:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k45xr/wow_shes_actually_eating/
---
So I'm currently trying to recover from my anorexia, and I haven't eaten lunch at school with my friends for about 2 years. I pull out a small bowl of salad (no dressing obviously) And my best friend who doesn't really know about my eating disorder just says to my other friend, "oh wow! Shes actually EATING for once!" I just wanted to cry and I had totally lost my appetite. Like then there's them eating a burger, fries, a cookie, and drinking a box of juice. Like they easily eat over 700 cal just during lunchtime and they still have the guts to comment on me for eating 1/4 cup of salad?!?
I know that it's such a small comment, but that's just enough to make me triggered to start fasting and falling back into my old habits. I don't know if I want to recover anymore :/.
What super great things are your family going to tell you this holiday season?/s
/u/moncai-mama
Created: Fri Dec 15 17:43:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k3wxu/what_super_great_things_are_your_family_going_to/
---
“You look....skinny...youre eating right?” - suspicious aunt
“I NEVER SEE YOU EAT HAHAHA!” - super fat cousin that also happens to be a tattle tale
“I ALMOST CANT SEE YOU WHEN YOU TURN SIDEWAYS” - uncle/or grandpa
“Id feel better if I could watch you eat a plate” - Granny
“Tell me the truth, did you starve yourself all week just to fit into that dress?” - Mom
“You just look better with meat on your bones” -bitchy aunt
[Rant/Rave] I am a trash compactor
/u/StuDented [1.64m|CW: ?|GW: 55kg|UGW: 50kg|BMI: ?|Gender: F]
Created: Fri Dec 15 17:40:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k3wdm/i_am_a_trash_compactor/
---
I am filled up of food I wish I hadn't eaten from my colon to my gullet, solid food and gas filling me up like some rank Jurassic swamp. I'm bubbling up as I've taken a handful of laxatives. They don't purge the calories but they purge the disgusting full feeling. I'm up late on Reddit as I don't want to get all into bed before they kick in and I have to then cosy up to the toilet, and I'm hating myself.
Happy Holidays!
Love the trash compactor x
[Help] Can anyone justify a binge for me
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Fri Dec 15 17:14:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k3r96/can_anyone_justify_a_binge_for_me/
---
Omg guys ignore my previous post I’m feeling so weak and sad and I just want to binge tonight.
I probably would be able to suppress it but I have to go a dinner tonight so I don’t think I’ll be able to control myself.
I will be like 40 something hours fasted and I only ate three days this week (over ate tho). I wanted to make it this whole weekend fasted but this dinner is going to fuck me up.
And I can’t just get something small/light, it’s all or nothing for me.
I am still bloated from eating this week but I weighed 111 this am and I have been essentially maintaining at 110.
Can anyone make me feel better about binging.... obviously I know I shouldn’t and it’s weird to ask but I just want to and I don’t want to feel so bad about it.
I just need help guys 😭 I am trying to tell myself how good I’ll feel if I don’t eat but I’m too sad to believe it
[Discussion] Does anybody else feel empowered by their ED?
/u/Ep1cDuCK [5'7.5" | CW: 107 lbs | BMI 16.5 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 15 17:04:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k3p9k/does_anybody_else_feel_empowered_by_their_ed/
---
I know that ED makes so many people powerless and out of control, and that is so totally valid; by no means do I want to take away from that experience. But for me…
turning down junk food, skipping meals, fasting for days on end, not finishing the food on my plate, etc. just makes me feel so empowered. I just get such a sense of accomplishment, satisfaction, strength, and control when I severely restrict or fast. It makes me feel proud of myself, like I’m displaying a level of self-discipline that’s so much higher than most people’s. I know it’s fucked up, and I know that not eating doesn’t actually make me more accomplished or self-disciplined or otherwise “better” than other people or my-would-be-self without ED.
I know that I’m underweight, and that eating more would be healthier, would make me more attractive, etc. But recovery is not even on the table because my ED makes me feel so good. Restriction and fasting have been such a source of personal pride for so long; I feel like giving that up would be damaging to mental health--like maintaining my ED is what keeps me sane, especially during periods of my life where so much else is out of my control.
Do you guys feel similarly? Differently? Whether you feel the same way or not, I’d love to hear how you guys experience the relationship between self-control and ED.
[Help] Low Heart rate
/u/knockofftoothpaste [166cm | 95.3 | 15.8 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 15 16:20:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k3g5n/low_heart_rate/
---
okay so i just took my heart rate and its only 42 bpm.
Yesterday my heart felt like it was beating really fast and hard but it wasn't fast in reality.
has anyone experienced anything like this before? what should i do? i feel quite scared.
[Rant/Rave] 10 days until x-mas. Time for my yearly 10 day liquid fast before the "fun" starts.
/u/IttyBittyBatty [5'5" | CW 😱 | -17.8lbs]
Created: Fri Dec 15 16:12:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k3ekl/10_days_until_xmas_time_for_my_yearly_10_day/
---
Heeeeere we go again! It's the most *wonderful* time of the year. Family, friends, fancy clothes and **tons** of food!! /s
^^^I ^^^fucking ^^^hate ^^^Christmas... ^^^Just ^^^kill ^^^me...
[Discussion] What would you do if you never had to eat again?
/u/I_give_up_258
Created: Fri Dec 15 15:56:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k3b2k/what_would_you_do_if_you_never_had_to_eat_again/
---
Imagine you have a superpower where you can change your body to whatever fat% you want magically, plus you can each as much/little as you wanted. What would you do with your life?
[Rant/Rave] Two (three?) not-great ED-things happened to me today.
/u/dbt-girl [5'2" | 119 ]
Created: Fri Dec 15 15:48:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k39er/two_three_notgreat_edthings_happened_to_me_today/
---
You know how it is when you’re eating and you’re *inside yourself,* and you’re doing all your silly ED things like scraping off toppings, whatever, and you don’t really care. But just emotionally inside yourself. The world is a little less there. Experiencing depths, kinda lost. Less aware, but introspective. Experiencing.
I already committed to not eating the damn fortune cookie. But I wanted the fortune. So I undo the plastic wrap, carefully break the cookie in two...
There’s no. damn. fortune. I didn’t drop it, it just wasn’t there. Empty.
It must of been something about my introverted, introspective state because I felt strangely triggered. The symbolism was unsettling.
That was not-great thing one.
Not great-thing number two. Recently, I’ve begun coping by wandering the grocery store in my down time. Sometimes I go and I don’t even have an intent. It’s awful. Sometimes I go simply because I’m crawling out of my skin with loneliness and I just want that brief social interaction at the register. Sometimes I go because I want food, but I’m too food-anxious to figure anything out.
Well... the guy at the meat counter takes a look and asks, “Did you just start working here?”
I hesitated. I actually did just get hired at the chain, but in the next town over. Funny he asks, I say.
“Oh, well I saw you here earlier today and thought you may have started working at Starbucks or something.”
Dear. God. My wandering has been noticed.
Now sitting in the deli, tapping this out, sipping my Starbucks. I get to eat soon and I just broke ketosis. I can’t wait.
Oh, and bonus #3: Ketosis has made me stink so badly in all the worst ways.
Cool Sculpting
/u/satanic__feminist
Created: Fri Dec 15 15:34:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k3690/cool_sculpting/
---
Hey guys! First of I’m new here so I’ll give some background. I’m a 20F 5’6 that weighs 142 with a goal weight of 127. Have so far lost 10 pounds (stared at 152). So anyway, I was wondering if anyone has any opinions on cool sculpting?! Basically they freeze your stubborn fat off in certain areas. It isn’t considered weight lose but I’ve alwayssss struggled with my lower tummy. I have an SD so I’m not worried about cost. Any opinions? Xo
[Rant/Rave] I feel personally attacked by a subway ad.
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Fri Dec 15 15:25:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k34cm/i_feel_personally_attacked_by_a_subway_ad/
---
So there’s a subway commercial that comes on a lot when I binge watch shows on my laptop. It has a song, the lyrics of which are, “Let me teach you how to eat,” and every time it comes on I get so angry. Like how many people are you triggering here?! So rude! [This version ](https://youtu.be/X5EjfdrQGfU) or [This version ](https://youtu.be/D_1LqxsOdco). Ugh.
[Other] All I can think about is food but I’m definitely not eating
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Fri Dec 15 15:18:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k32wa/all_i_can_think_about_is_food_but_im_definitely/
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I’ve spent the last couple hours looking at pictures of food on insta, googling restaurants and looking at their menus/pictures etc.
I’m like 36 hours fasted and I need to make it until atleast Sunday night (approx 55 hours away). There’s no way I’m eating but for some reason I am feelin down and obsessing over food.
I have to go to a birthday dinner tonight but I already said I’m not going to eat and I reeeeeeeallly hope I don’t (feeling pretty confident I won’t)
Probably going to continue the rest of my day staring at food and fantasizing about eating.
Edit: what the hell guys I feel so fuckin weak now and I will probably binge tonight
When your boyfriend takes you to a fancy BUFFET for dinner, but then the bathroom looks like this :D
/u/yesyeshihello [157cm | BMI: 17.24 | 27F]
Created: Fri Dec 15 15:15:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k3251/when_your_boyfriend_takes_you_to_a_fancy_buffet/
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https://v.redd.it/2eu05a7gu5401
[Discussion] Does anyone use MPA?
/u/cloudy_gaze [5'3.5" | 94lbs | 16.4 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 15 15:11:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k3182/does_anyone_use_mpa/
---
Just curious because it's the biggest pro-ed website as far as I can tell. I use it, but honestly I kind of prefer this subreddit because there's quite a bit of petty drama on MPA. At the same time there are so many forums and I like browsing it without posting too much.
Thoughts?
[Rant/Rave] I know he loves me but still....
/u/Polarplaid
Created: Fri Dec 15 15:07:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k30d1/i_know_he_loves_me_but_still/
---
I made some caramel chocolate fudge with all the candy that’s just been sitting in my cupboard. I wanted to get rid of the temptation so I told my boyfriend he could have them. I go to drop it off and what does he give me?!? An XL dark chocolate bar. I’m going to regift it to my mom for Christmas 😂 He loves me and I’m being ungrateful but really, I am trying to lose weight.
[Goal] Progress actually happens!?!
/u/BronArianwyn
Created: Fri Dec 15 15:04:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k2znl/progress_actually_happens/
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I've regressed badly these last couple of months. and I thought after thanks giving I would never stop my constant binge and I have been so ashamed to even try weighing myself or checking the numbers..but i managed to choke it back to at least one meal a day with some more walking and in the store I noticed my jeans (that have been getting looser and looser) were practically falling over my bum!
and the bf kept saying how loose and baggy the butt was and how thin I "finally am" and I feel SO proud! a rare moment of victory!
It's not you - women's clothing sizes don't make sense
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 147lb | 21.32 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 15 14:24:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k2qlo/its_not_you_womens_clothing_sizes_dont_make_sense/
---
https://www.today.com/style/jeans-don-t-fit-here-s-explanation-inconsistency-women-s-t100419
[Help] what's an easy way to lose muscle?
/u/prxncetxn [5'6 | CW: 116 | GW: 105 | M]
Created: Fri Dec 15 14:04:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k2lxs/whats_an_easy_way_to_lose_muscle/
---
I used to swim a lot which has given me huge calves and thighs
how can I lose all this muscle without sacrificing cardio time? if I stop running 2 hours a day I'm going to become obese, I need slim slp model legs
[Rant/Rave] Calories I can (just about) manage, but alcohol?!
/u/uforgan
Created: Fri Dec 15 14:01:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k2l9y/calories_i_can_just_about_manage_but_alcohol/
---
I wont quanitfy calories or weights.
I can handle not eating, I really can. Even without the diet pills I can control myself, but calories in alcohol? I drank an entire bottle of crappy wine (not a great idea, I admit, but it's Friday and I've worked hard this week), checked the calories, and I may as well have not fasted. Does anyone know of an alcohol with less calories? I left vodka after finding the calories in a shot, alcohol is one of the few guilty pleasures i have and I can't bare to make it more guilty.
Tl;Dr: pro ed anti calories on alcohol
[Goal] Lost way more than i expected
/u/astr4lproject [5'8 | 115 | 17.30]
Created: Fri Dec 15 13:49:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k2idz/lost_way_more_than_i_expected/
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Ok so I am feeling a little shitty about eating at ~maintenance today and eating "bad" foods like white bread so I wanna celebrate my achievements.
I don't have a scale at my uni flat, so I can only weigh myself when I visit my parents house, which I haven't done in a couple of weeks. I was predicting at my rate of weight loss/gain I would be 118, 117 at the best. Stepped on the scale this morning and it was 115!!! That's a big difference to me lol. I also measured my waist to see if it had shrunk and it was at 23.5 inches. Holy shit did not expect that.
So I'm gonna drink my peppermint tea and try not to hate myself over a slice of white bread 💚
[Goal] Under 150!
/u/fluffyfinaland [5'6"| CW 151.8 | GW 120 | -20.2 | 21F]
Created: Fri Dec 15 13:29:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k2dqi/under_150/
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Just weighed in at 149.8! I haven't been under 150 in? Years. Probably since sixth grade (2007)? It may only be .2 pounds below 150, but still seeing that 4 in the 10's column made my heart explode. Happy Friday everyone!
[Discussion] Just gonna put this here
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 15 12:23:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k1y7o/just_gonna_put_this_here/
---
https://i.redd.it/u6cey83205401.jpg
True
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 15 12:13:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k1vsp/true/
---
https://i.redd.it/walkduy9y4401.jpg
[Help] Got my period back...
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 57.1kg | BMI 18.86 |- 15kg | GW 52kg | 25F]
Created: Fri Dec 15 12:05:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k1u0t/got_my_period_back/
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So this past month has been a case of bingeing and fasting and bingeing and fasting...clearly I haven't been fasting enough as I've gained back 1-2kg (I've hidden my scale now because I was just getting so depressed - I'm going to look at it JUST before I go back to England).
My period has come back. It had been gone for about 90 days...and as my period has come, all my binge feelings have gone. Is this because I have got my period back and my body is saying "right we've got our calories and nutrients - no need to be in a blind panic anymore"?
[Discussion] No shit
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 15 12:02:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k1t9b/no_shit/
---
https://i.redd.it/rddzr3ccw4401.jpg
[Help] Spotting/period coming early? What should I do?
/u/thinsponeeded [5'6" | 111 | -20 | GW: 108 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 15 11:33:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k1m4k/spottingperiod_coming_early_what_should_i_do/
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Hey all, I need some help/input/advice.
Problem: My last period ended on Nov. 27th. I started spotting on Dec. 13th, and it doesn't look like normal blood either, it's much darker than usual (like what you might get at the end stages of your period). I've always been regular, maybe a few days late here or there, but without fail, I've had a period every month. Does anyone have any idea what's happening or if it's normal? I'm barely underweight, so this is really sudden to me.
Eating Habits: I've been restricting quite a bit. I've gone down from 119 to 111 in the past three weeks, which isn't that fast, but not insignificant amount. I still have days where I eat at my maintenance calories, though exercise I think lowers my TDEE. Thing is, I still don't feel very skinny (everyone here can understand that) and I feel quite healthy still. I only lose strength when fasting, and that was just a 40 hour fast two weeks ago. I think I'm quite fit; low resting heart rate, good aerobic endurance, dance daily.
What I should be doing about this? How do I deal with this spotting issue? Literally any thoughts, advice, your own stories, etc. are welcomed, because I'm reluctantly talking about this to my own doctor at the moment.
EDIT: Okay, after thinking about it some more, I will bring it up to my doctor, but I'm just curious if/when other people lost their periods, how did you make them come back, etc.
[Rant/Rave] "You really don't want anything? Just have this, you need to eat, what did you eat today? Come on you gotta eat!"
/u/eliamousse
Created: Fri Dec 15 11:26:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k1khb/you_really_dont_want_anything_just_have_this_you/
---
I fucking hate my family so much
I ate already please I had my calories
Why do you want to make me fat like you
I don't want to be fat like you
[Rant/Rave] Fucking Kill Me....
/u/UnderseaK [5'7 | cw: 150lbs | gw: 110lbs | -97lb]
Created: Fri Dec 15 11:03:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k1etv/fucking_kill_me/
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Just kill me. I have been stuck at 150 for WEEKS because I have no fucking self control. I went over my planned calories by 1400(!!!!!) yesterday. I can't stop purging.
And now I wake up in a post-binge haze of self loathing, to find that my beautiful sweet cat is dead. She was only 12, it wasn't her time yet.
I wish I was dead and Chessie was still alive.
[Rant/Rave] "the IBS diet"
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 15 11:00:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k1dzo/the_ibs_diet/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] DAE just like not sweat anymore?
/u/questions_anonymous [5'6.5" | 114 | 18.1 | -50 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 15 10:58:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k1dke/dae_just_like_not_sweat_anymore/
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When I was heavier, even while within the healthy BMI range, I would sweat through my clothes doing nothing, but now I don't sweat even on my runs, and I do an 8 and a half minute mile for 4 miles, so that should induce sweating, no? Not only do I not sweat during exercise, I don't even warm up; after running outside today my body got a cadaverous chill that persisted until I took a hot shower an hour later.
[Rant/Rave] I’m being forced to medically withdraw from my school for a semester
/u/introvert_juice [5'2 | CW:98 | 18BMI | 20F | 🍑feedmegreentea]
Created: Fri Dec 15 10:55:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k1cwo/im_being_forced_to_medically_withdraw_from_my/
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Hey Ive been a long time lurker on this sub. I’m usually not one to post personal things but I really need to vent. I’m an illustration major in college and this morning I found out that I had to medically withdraw from a semester of school because I had missed too much class due to being hospitalized so many times. On top of that, I’m not allowed to go into my spring semester because I failed all my prerequisite classes this semester. Meaning I will have to repeat junior year over again. I will have to watch all my classmates graduate before me and I will be put into a class full of strangers. I go to a very small, close knit art school which means people are starting to ask questions. I’ve been able to avoid giving a straight answer but I think they are starting to get suspicious. Even my boyfriend doesn’t know I have an ed and having to explain to him that I will have to repeat a year without revealing the true reason why is making my anxiety go through the roof. He already thinks I’m not living up to my full potential and hates to see me fall behind so I know this will make him super upset. My parents are really strict when it comes to education and they are already incredibly pissed. They don’t know the extent of my relapse but I’m pretty sure if I continue down this path they will force me back into recovery. I just wish I could move into a tiny apartment far away where no one knows me and work a shitty minimum wage job until this eating disorder kills me. I hate that people expect me to pursue a career that I know I won’t live long enough to reap the benefits of. I love being able to do art as my job but I always prioritize my eating habits over everything and I fucking hate that I do that. I just wish I was a normal person. I feel like such a failure.
Sorry if this rant was too long/depressing/rambly. I just don’t have anyone I can talk to about this and I feel like you guys would understand.
[Discussion] Whats on your Christmas wishlist?
/u/Throwaway412160987
Created: Fri Dec 15 10:53:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k1ccy/whats_on_your_christmas_wishlist/
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Christmas is in 10 days!
[Rant/Rave] I “binged” and i’m mad at myself
/u/booger-burger69 [5'3 | CW: 117lbs | UGW 100lbs | -18lbs | 21F]
Created: Fri Dec 15 10:38:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k18hr/i_binged_and_im_mad_at_myself/
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After more than a week of either not eating anything at all or only swallowing a couple bites while chewing and spitting out tiny meals, I went to my friends house overnight and stupidly forgot my ephedrine so I couldn’t suppress my appetite. I ended up having to stay over for almost the entire next day before he could take me home. So I was in pain from hunger and my stomach would not stop growling. He told me to take his car to go get some food so I got my favorite meal from Mickey D’s. I chew and spit that sandwich but ate all of my medium fries. I didn’t feel that guilty though, because I knew if I didn’t eat I would pass out and I didn’t want to scare my friend (he knows abt my ED though).
But then once I got home my other friends wanted to go drink. So we got drunk and order wings. I only ate three wings and like scarfed them down because I was still so hungry. But then our friend at the bar we were at gave us free Twix and Reeses, so I ate one Reeses cup and one Twix bar. Drunk me could not control myself.
On one hand I’m happy drunk me let me eat something more than just a medium fries yesterday, but on the other hand I’m angry that I lost control. Now I feel like I hit a reset button even though I probably won’t gain more than a pound or two because of my “binge”. I need to drink water and electrolytes because I’m dehyrdated from drinking last night, but I’m not letting myself do that because I need to be punished.
On the bright side, my friends made a comment that I look like I weigh “96 pounds soaking wet” so that made me pretty happy. But honestly.... I don’t know what’s unhealthier for me, this eating disorder or when I was addicted to cocaine and heroin.
[Discussion] Anyone here on Tumblr?
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5'4" | 120 | 20.54| GW: 115 | NB]
Created: Fri Dec 15 10:08:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k115l/anyone_here_on_tumblr/
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I'm just wondering because I frequent Tumblr, I don't have a thinspo blog I just blog whatever? I'm just curious I guess 😅
[Help] losing your [true] self in your ED?
/u/LOdowwnlorettabrown
Created: Fri Dec 15 09:43:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k0uwx/losing_your_true_self_in_your_ed/
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happy to be back. so i've been in this process (due to recently being prescribed adderall which kinda fuels my ED) of dropping weight pretty drastically. honestly, i think i look really beautiful physically and am finally starting to feel confident about the way i look, but somehow i still feel empty. i almost look at myself in the mirror and can't recognize who the heck that is. what's ironic about all of this, is that my relationships are better, my work is better, and i am able to be more vulnerable and feel more in control of my feelings. is this the adderall the ED the mix of the two? i know when i come down of the meds i get like this flood of emotions sometimes, but not every time. it just makes me feel self-conscious that people like the medicated skinny version of me more than the fatter, but actual version of me. or can we just chalk it up to my blossoming and growing. what do you all think? i am happy but dont feel like my true self, and am scared if i ever get off my meds or something like that i will just spiral back to where i was but at the same time dont want to be medicated for life ya know?
[Rant/Rave] Fuck. This. Day.
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 58.8 kg | -24.7 kg | 22F]
Created: Fri Dec 15 09:38:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k0to0/fuck_this_day/
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(EDIT: Sorry I forgot to flair as rant. Mods? If you would be so kind :) thanks!)
Really, fuck it! I shouldn't have gotten out of bed!
It started with my doctor letting me wait for an hour for NOTHING. Should have gotten my stitches removed (from my operation last friday) but the wounds didn't heal enough yet. And really...I waited an hour for them to tell me that.
Continued with me procrastinating studying and eating a bowl of pasta with sauce (442 cals) when I initially wanted to fast because I'll just get diarrhea anyway. (No gallbladder to process fats..my liver doesn't do shit) EDIT: I'm stupid and ate cookies...enough to destroy my intestines and my daily weight loss. I am now at 1500 cals -.- (tomorrow I'll get through with my fast and break this fucking unintentional maintenance!)
And to top it off: going to the grocery store to buy fat reduced milk, coke zero and a variety of gum to start fasting again (liquid fasting but still) and finding out that they have nothing of what I wanted. I went home with 2 different flavors of gum (yes only 2. Not what you'd call a variety) and pepsi light. I hate pepsi. And no milk because they were sold out.
Sounds ridiculously petty to get agitiated over stuff like that right? I think so too but I'm still mad. Very irrationally irritated and frustrated. Today sucks!
[Rant/Rave] Wasted my my teens & early twenties...
/u/flystad
Created: Fri Dec 15 09:26:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k0qwt/wasted_my_my_teens_early_twenties/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Just ate a huge trigger meal and am feeling safe
/u/then_she_said [5'7 | -58 | 27F | UGW: 130]
Created: Fri Dec 15 09:07:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k0mcm/just_ate_a_huge_trigger_meal_and_am_feeling_safe/
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I just wanted to share with someone who would know/ give a fuck what I mean. I work in an office and people always think it's really nice to bring bagels and cream cheese in for breakfast. I love carbs, like lovelovelove carbs, would divorce my husband and marry them in a second if they weren't also my worst enemy.
Most mornings for breakfast, I have one egg cooked into a mug of miso soup and a couple of clementines and some tea with almond milk. Those are all safe foods for me and make me feel good first thing every day. Today someone brought in a whole bag of bagels and flavored cream cheese, and it was all I could smell from my office, so I went out, cut one in half, put it down, walked back to my office again, went back out a half hour later, toasted it, lightly spread it with cream cheese, brought it to my desk, ate a quarter of it and pushed it away, went back to the kitchen and (legit) brought the entire container of cream cheese with me, started spreading more, finished 3/4s of the bagel, pushed it away for 20 minutes, finished it, threw out the plate, did the walk of shame with the tub of cream cheese, and came back to my desk and sat down.
Normally, when I eat a bagel and cream cheese first thing in the morning, it leads to an epic at-work binge, which of course is the worst thing ever, because then I have to go home on my lunch to purge, and if I can't do that then I just hate myself and am in pain all day.
Well today, that changed. Today, I logged the bagel and cream cheese and realized that it's actually about 50 calories less than what I eat for breakfast, lunch and snacks during a work day anyway. And then I realized that I haven't completely sabotaged myself, necessarily, and that if I don't immediately start scarfing down candy and another bagel, that actually I can avoid purging today. And that ACTUALLY, if I go home tonight and work out for 30 minutes like I plan to, then it really won't hurt me at all AND I can even have a couple glasses of wine at the bar.
Which is amazing, honestly. Last time I had a bagel at work, I ate 2 within 45 minutes, a bag of chips from the vending machine, stopped at Burger King on my way home to purge and had 3 burgers and a large fries, got back to work, ate all of my planned food for the day during the afternoon and stopped on my way home to pick up an entire pizza which I ate by myself on the couch before purging.
**tl;dr:** ate my trigger food, not currently binging
[Help] I know we have a Peach username Megathread (added most of you yesterday) but can someone give a breakdown of how to use it on a phone and on the web?
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 147lb | 21.32 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 15 08:39:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k0fig/i_know_we_have_a_peach_username_megathread_added/
---
Hey so I just started using this app and while I know one of the selling points is that it's pretty basic, it's so basic that I feel like I don't know how to use it and I can't find instructions thru them. Can someone give me a breakdown of how to use the app and it's features?
[Rant/Rave] Just binged... Fml...
/u/ShouNinja [170cm | CW 56kg | BMI 19.32 | GW 52kg | 20F]
Created: Fri Dec 15 07:43:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k03gs/just_binged_fml/
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I've been under 200kcal all week... It was going so well I'm at my lowest weight atm and I was so sure I was gonna go even lower... Why then did I just binge on like everything in my fucking house? I wasn't even hungry... Fml
[Help] Can someone help me stop eating? I can't ever seem to stay below 175 consistently. I'm getting desperate.
/u/Laika_Come_Home
Created: Fri Dec 15 07:36:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7k01zg/can_someone_help_me_stop_eating_i_cant_ever_seem/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Feeling like no one gets it
/u/griselda-grey [5'2" | 95 lbs | BMI 17 | 23F]
Created: Fri Dec 15 07:15:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jzxum/feeling_like_no_one_gets_it/
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I made this account solely to talk about my ED. Yay?
So, brief background: I was hospitalized 1.5 years ago after I had a seizure at work. At the time, I was 88 pounds and admittedly felt like I was going to die any time. Dizzy and nauseous most of the time, always thirsty, blurry vision, etc. I spent a few days in the hospital and was transferred to a psych unit for 60 days (anxiety - it's a large part of why I'm so small).
I was put on Paxil and got up to 110 lbs this time last year. But I stopped taking it. It was making me want to eat which would make me anxious in turn, and I couldn't deal anymore.
When my dad found out around Easter, he said that I "didn't care about getting better" and that he was "enabling" me. Which couldn't be further from the truth, because he was forcing me and tricking me into eat meat from the time I was little (I hate meat and have been vegetarian for 20 years) and criticizing my weight while he's been losing and gaining the same 80 pounds forever on an Atkins diet that doesn't fucking work. It was hurtful but whatever - we have hated each other for years now.
But there's my girlfriend/best friend. We've been together for 6 years and I thought we were going to get married. Now I'm not so sure. She caught me trying to sneak food down the disposal two nights ago and got angry. "You've been dropping weight like crazy! Get on the scale!"
She knows this shit makes me so anxious but I did it. When I saw 95 on the scale, I had a secret momentary celebration until my gf suddenly became really quiet and started crying.
"I don't know what to do with you"
"If you think you're fat, you must think I'm huge and disgusting" (I DON'T!!! She is 5'7" and 140 pounds of gorgeousness)
Those were the statements that hurt the most. I'm not doing this to hurt anyone and idk why the fuck anyone would think that of me. I just have a lot of anxiety around having fat and gaining weight and I don't get what's so hard for people to understand about that. Now I feel like the love of my life is giving up on me and idk what to do :'( I feel like she did a really shitty thing to me, which makes me feel anxious and exacerbates the eating problem. I haven't even heard from her since yesterday morning.
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! December 15, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Dec 15 05:13:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jzbsf/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for December 15, 2017.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! December 15, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Dec 15 05:12:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jzbrp/daily_food_diary_december_15_2017/
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This is a daily food diary thread for December 15, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
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[Discussion] December 15th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 15 04:59:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jz9e7/december_15th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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Moderation or excess?
[Rant/Rave] I'm so lost.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 15 04:42:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jz6td/im_so_lost/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] As there becomes less of you, do you feel less like you?
/u/puzzlette [5' 9" | CDS 10 | GDS 6 | SDS 14 |]
Created: Fri Dec 15 04:11:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jz2jz/as_there_becomes_less_of_you_do_you_feel_less/
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Idk, I guess I've been thinking about how different I was before I relapsed into ED behaviours again. Total life and soul of the party, much more fun. Now... Less so. I've always been fine with who I am inside, it's just the outside I've always hated. Anyone else feel the same?
[Help] I need a pro ana friend.
/u/IndigoSeasons [5'9" | CW 138 | CGW 118 | BMI 20 | Female]
Created: Fri Dec 15 03:25:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jyw9o/i_need_a_pro_ana_friend/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Let's see all my boys on here!
/u/runjumpflip [5'3 | CW 110 | 19.5 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 15 02:24:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jynze/lets_see_all_my_boys_on_here/
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Just wondering how many of you guys are on here and what your ED experience has been. My (male) friend is raising a lot of red flags for me right now with anorexia, so it just made me think of you guys.
Sorryyyy for two posts in a day lol just really fucking needed somewhere safe to go.
[Rant/Rave] Binge rant
/u/runjumpflip [5'3 | CW 110 | 19.5 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 15 02:10:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jym8w/binge_rant/
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Guys I just binged so fucking hard and I feel like trash. It was all like, carby, sugary garbage, and I had so much of it that I literally feel sick from being full and I have a headache from the ridiculous amount of sugar. I just took a sleeping pill so I can hopefully sleep instead of staying up all night feeling guilty. I also drank two cups of water and I'm making green tea to hopefully speed up my metabolism a tiny bit while I sleep, even though it won't come anywhere near undoing the damage I've done. I'm scared that since I'm used to eating under 1000 calories this giant binge will just immediately turn into fat and I'm freaking the fuck out. Ugh. I'm gonna take some laxatives too I think. I hate purging though, and I never get anything up anyways. Ahhhhh. Anyone able to help me out or ease my mind? Fuck me, right?
Update: I'm planning on hardcore EC stacking tomorrow and trying to fast unless someone forces me to eat. Fuck.
[Rant/Rave] Can we talk acedemics?
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 80 lbs | 15.13 | -27 | f]
Created: Fri Dec 15 01:30:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jygyp/can_we_talk_acedemics/
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I feel like i'm the only one who's fucking up school this bad. It seems like a lot of others with EDs have this perfectionistic drive that pushes them through the motions and in a way i envy it. my mental health has never been anything but detrimental to my grades. i can't focus, i can't retain information, i have the attention span of a- WOW LOOK HOW FAST I CAN SHAKE MY PEN
i'm constantly exhausted and sleeping in class because i can't sleep at night, and i'm always late to classes because i have to purge, or i can't purge and then i have to concentrate on not sobbing into my desk, and fighting binge urges, and dizziness, and hunger, and i probably won't fucking graduate because i'm floating low Ds and an F in everything but psychology and ecology. the pressure of finals next week is just making everything worse.
it's like i totally lack all the positive (though i'm sure still painful) traits associated with EDs.
i am C H A O S
also a lil bit faded so thanks for humoring my halfbaked (wink wink) ramblings.
[Help] Night eating.. Wtf. Any success at stopping it?
/u/I_donut_carrot_all [5'6| 85 | 13.71 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 15 00:26:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jy8jq/night_eating_wtf_any_success_at_stopping_it/
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So I can stay on track and do great all day. But around 8 or so nope. Just nope. Even after I "go to bed" I am making three or four trips back to the kitchen all hours of the night. Then I have to exercise it off. Then I get low blood sugar so I have to eat something because duh I'll take any excuse to eat. This gives me a good hour or two of sleep each night.
I take food to my room with me in attempts to squelch the feeling of panic that I won't have food. Basically this is my dinner. I've tried intermittent fasting, and kind of do it.
Does anyone have help? Or a nighttime routine that works for you. I don't want to take more meds to knock me out but highly considering it.
[Discussion] Restricting while in relationship.
/u/Onychophorala
Created: Fri Dec 15 00:20:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jy7lt/restricting_while_in_relationship/
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I feel bad right now. My boyfriend has committed hours and hours to helping me understand my mindset regarding being thin and losing weight. I stopped restricting with his support...though I'd occasionally return to it. Then I realized that restricting was hurting him and our relationship a lot so I told myself I was done. I tried really hard. I was doing amazingly for what felt like a long time.
However, I want to be thin again so badly right now. I don't want to return to that but I also feel compelled to, but I don't want my boyfriend to know. More overpowering than that though is I don't want to have any secrets in our relationship. I also don't want to hurt our relationship in any way. I value it above being thin, but I wonder about "why can't I have both?" Is that possible? To have you eating disorder active and to dedicate yourself fully to your partner too?
Have any of you ever openly restricted while in a relationship? How did your partner react and feel about that? I don't want to hurt my boyfriend like that but if I am going to restrict I'm not going to keep secrets.
[Discussion] Why is the second round so much more difficult?
/u/Onychophorala
Created: Fri Dec 15 00:08:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jy5x8/why_is_the_second_round_so_much_more_difficult/
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The first time that I really truly put my mind to losing weight it was hardcore. I didn't weigh myself at the beginning but I think I lost about 16-18 pounds total in two months.
I am holding at a 6-10 pound gain from my low weight right now. I stopped restricting but every time I tried to start again I couldn't do it like before. What happened? What's wrong? How can I be successful at it again?
Your experiences?
[Rant/Rave] I feel like I don't count...
/u/serpent_BOY
Created: Thu Dec 14 23:55:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jy3yw/i_feel_like_i_dont_count/
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I don't want to be skinny, I just want to be mistaken as a boy. I don't know why I think starving myself will help me. It doesn't make any sense, right? I mean weight loss defines your waist and gives you pretty feminine arms and legs. Why the fuck do I think doing this is going to help me? Maybe it's the chance of losing some hips and bust, maybe it's the baggy clothes, I don't know! I just, feel so out of place. I'm so ugly and disgusting. I look in the mirror and all I see is how bloated and exaggerated my feminine features are.
It's not like I count calories or exercise. I just can't eat. It hurts. I feel weird and disgusted and just so awful. I can't eat. I'm a fraud, I don't have an ed, I don't want to be skinny. I just want to look like a boy. If I starve and lose weight maybe I'll look less feminine. But I know that's not true. I don't know what to do or why I'm like this. I hate this. I hate it!
[Discussion] Is it cheesy to want to be skinny for a boy?
/u/i-want-to-be-little [5’1.75 | 112.5 | 21.53 | -32.5 | 17F/NBish]
Created: Thu Dec 14 23:38:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jy1a0/is_it_cheesy_to_want_to_be_skinny_for_a_boy/
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I feel like it’s a trope from all sorts of ED-related books/media but that’s what’s happening with me right now and I don’t know how to feel about it.
[Discussion] Finally tried EC stacking
/u/mynameisasecret12
Created: Thu Dec 14 22:18:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jxnzi/finally_tried_ec_stacking/
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Holy shit I don’t crave anything. I haven’t eaten in three days and it’s been c a k e. Eating a salad now because I cooked for my girlfriend and I should probably eat with her so she doesn’t notice. I’m not even hungry, haven’t struggled with cravings or binge urges or anything. My mind is blown. I keep waiting to feel hungry and it just doesn’t happen. This is wild!!!!
Finally tried EC stacking
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 14 22:05:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jxlmn/finally_tried_ec_stacking/
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[deleted]
In your opinion, are you prejudice against fat people?
/u/luxklepto
Created: Thu Dec 14 21:59:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jxkd2/in_your_opinion_are_you_prejudice_against_fat/
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[removed]
[Discussion] My fellow “comorbid” peeps, what else do you struggle with?
/u/quoth_the_phoenix
Created: Thu Dec 14 21:38:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jxgmu/my_fellow_comorbid_peeps_what_else_do_you/
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Depression, OCD, and bipolar 2 🙃
[Rant/Rave] a stupid vent about my stupid boyfriend and his stupid girl friend
/u/kat-official [5'5" | CW: 135.6 lbs | GW: 100 lbs | -105 lbs lost from HW | 16F]
Created: Thu Dec 14 21:28:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jxesn/a_stupid_vent_about_my_stupid_boyfriend_and_his/
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so today my boyfriend was being kinda a dick all around because he was tired but BOY DO I HAVE A ROLLER COASTER MY ED FRIENDS WILL LOVE
some background: i live in canada, boyfriend lives in england. he cheated on me early in our relationship but we worked through it and i fully believe he hasn't done it since. i have an ED.
so. he turns to me and goes "how do you feel about me having female friend relationships"
i'm like, "it's fine as long as you're not pushing boundaries"
he's like "how do you feel about [Eradicated]"
and i'm like, who the fuck ? cause i've maybe heard this girl's name like once in two years ? and he's talking at me about how he wanted me to know that he wasn't sneaking or anything when they text and blah blah blah
and i'm like , what are you even talking about with this girl that you're suddenly trying to validate yourself?? and he's like, nothing we just talk about food. she has weight problems like how you do.
>.
and i'm like awesome, more competition. so i ask if she's pretty "she's okay looking but not my type"
translation from guy➡️honesty : "she's hot and if i was single i'd smash but i'm not so i have to pretend like i wouldn't"
so i ask if she's skinny/skinnier than me "she's skinny, i don't know her weight, you're not fat"
translation from guy➡️honesty : "she's super skinny, skinnier than you but i won't say that out loud, and i'll throw in a "you're not fat" because i know you're freaking out about the weight gain this week and i could really use the brownie points for starting this conversation"
so i remind him that we both have weight issues and now that we know that about each other we probably won't get along very well and may make each other worse in competition so what the fuck is up with your eating disorder fetish and he goes "it's not like i'm walking into pro-ana meetings with a fuckin' stiffy"
translation from guy➡️honesty : "i know i've admitted before to a white knight complex and i feel the need to be a therapist for everyone including this girl but i'm going to ignore that because you didn't phrase your question in a nice way and my man-feelings are hurt."
>.
but like ?? who is this random that's sharing all this personal info with my boyfriend and why can't she just do it with her own fucking boyfriend (and she does have her own). and how the fuck do i say "i don't feel okay about you talking to girls about really personal things when she's skinnier, prettier, and geographically closer to you than my 140lb, troll-faced, canadian ass" without coming off like i'm being controlling and insecure and psycho ?? because i 100% am insecure and psycho but i'm not controlling.
so i spent tonight cutting my legs up, crying and purging while he huffed and puffed about my initial reaction by himself. i brought up the fact that he has cheated in the past and he's balancing on a really shaky tightrope with our relationship and my insecurities when he does stuff like that and jen was like. "i love you, i'm constantly worrying about you , " and then something i missed because now he's calling me a burden in my head and i have to go analyze every line of every letter in that sentence in mundel head.
i'm really scared of this girl and what she might do to my relationship. we've been together like two and a half years and i don't want to lose him to this girl who's just some amplified version of me with a better face. soooooo i had a bad day, but i'm sure my eating disorder and my therapist will celebrate today for years to come.
i'm fasting until at least monday now.
edit: i'm not only fat and psychotic but DUMB too and I can't fucking spell !!!!! yay what a catch i am
[Other] lol
/u/th3Y3ti [5' 3.5" | CW 119| UGW 103| F]
Created: Thu Dec 14 21:08:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jxb3l/lol/
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Throwback to when I wouldn't eat sugar free foods because I thought aspartame would give me brain cancer
[Other] LOL
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 14 21:07:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jxax0/lol/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Ease my drunken mind? Or don't?
/u/loseitjen [5'8 |SW 140|CW 125|GW 115| F21]
Created: Thu Dec 14 20:48:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jx76c/ease_my_drunken_mind_or_dont/
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Lol so I weighed an all time low of 125.0 this morning and tonight I just drunkenly stepped on the scale and was at 129?? I never weigh myself at night so this could be completely normal and I'm freaking out but.. does this mean I will be higher tomorrow? I'm so nervous ""lol""
[Discussion] Skeptical about a classic recovery mantra I heard on a recovery vlogger's youtube video...
/u/2fckk
Created: Thu Dec 14 20:46:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jx6wq/skeptical_about_a_classic_recovery_mantra_i_heard/
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"Your weight doesn't define you." At first I was like, "Hell yeah! My weight doesn't define me! I'm better than this eating disorder!" And then gradually I was like, "Wait...does it define you?" Do I have a persistent eating disorder BECAUSE I KNOW that is DOES define me???
When I was 150 pounds, I was not treated as I am at 115 pounds. So.......isn't that kind of evidence-based research that it does define me.......? Society has A LOT to do with my success/failure as a person, as a family member, as a coworker, as a friend, as a spouse, as a pedestrian, as a consumer, etc. etc. etc. Right? So society inadvertently has a lot to do with who I am...................based on my weight so.........................AM I MY WEIGHT :'D
I'm confused and upset. What is right, what is wrong, what is logical, what is disorder? Like??????????? :'''(
I want someone to tell me I'm wrong and that I'm not my weight! So I can escape from needing to be this size to feel like I have a chance at succeeding/maintaining my current level of success
EDIT: I just have to say this. At 150 pounds, I wasn't just not treated nicely. I was actively treated poorly. I was ostracized and patronized by females and I was openly the butt of jokes to males. At 120, I'm not just not treated poorly. I'm treated WELL! I'm respected & esteemed to females and I'm actively sought after by men. Therefore, at 150 I had less friends, had less respect at work so less job opportunities, less confidence due to specific comments/looks so less self-esteem so less energy to even aspire to gain more opportunities, etc. etc. etc. while at 120, my confidence to seek success AND my means to has opened up. I mean, ugh, yeah, SURE maybe internally I could like myself unconditionally at 150. But it would be fucking hard. Being thin is just, like, a VIP ticket through societal judgement. Or is this the disorder speaking? LIEK IDEKGRHBAGJKDBGJBG lol yeah I'm insane
[Other] I’ve been spiraling since seeing my dietitian because of some comments she made
/u/Chaiteathaichi
Created: Thu Dec 14 20:41:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jx5we/ive_been_spiraling_since_seeing_my_dietitian/
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Ok, I should preface this post by saying if you struggle with binging this post might upset you and I sincerely apologize. Growing up my dad was a binge eater. I’ve come to realize that my ED developed in part because I didn’t want to be like him (I mostly restrict and over exercise). I grew up overweight and I’ve cycled between a healthy weight and being overweight since my ED developed back in early high school. But despite being overweight, I have never been a binger. I’ve been very open about my history and my ED with my dietitian. I saw her this week and she repeatedly asked me if I had been over eating or binging. I told her no (which is the truth- I had actually lost some weight between appointments but was wearing a heavy outfit). I then mentioned how I was planning to make Christmas cookies for friends and family. She started talking about avoiding binges again and how I should call her if I thought I was going to binge. I don’t blame her because she was just doing her job, but it seriously makes me feel horrible about myself. Like- I get that I’m fat and it’s easy to assume that I’m binging - but that’s the reason my ED developed to begin with. I’m terrified of being like my father. Honestly all I want to do is restrict again. I had been doing so well but now that voice is as loud as ever.
TLDR; my dietitian made comments insinuating that I’m binging/going to binge and it has made my restricting thoughts flair up like crazy when I had been doing well
[Thinspo] life would be perfect if i had her body
/u/lavenderbruises [5'9"|CW 115| GW 100| BMI 16.74| 19F]
Created: Thu Dec 14 20:38:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jx5b4/life_would_be_perfect_if_i_had_her_body/
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https://i.imgur.com/UOtFHzK.jpg
[Help] I have literally no one to talk to about any of this
/u/Greeneloaf
Created: Thu Dec 14 20:34:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jx4fq/i_have_literally_no_one_to_talk_to_about_any_of/
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So this is my first time ever even using Reddit so I'm trying to understand how it works. I'm sorry if I accidentally break any rules. I'm currently 20, 5' 5" 118, my goal for now is 109. At my heaviest I was in the 160s. This is the "worst" I've ever been, and lately almost every time I stand up I black out and everything gets fuzzy and sometimes I have to let myself drop to the ground until everything is clear again. It's hard to describe although I'm sure plenty of people reading this understand fully what I'm trying to say. Everything just feels fuzzy, I don't mind he hunger pangs or any of the other physical side effects of this but the light headedness is becoming an issue for me, what do you guys do to ease the fainting spells? Obviously I've tried the basics like water and a small snack but I'd like to know if there's an alternative that doesn't require consuming any food.
I have literally no one to talk to about any of this
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 14 20:22:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jx23q/i_have_literally_no_one_to_talk_to_about_any_of/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] It's only fun when I'm losing
/u/kickkkasss [5'5 | CW:134 | GW:110 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 14 20:04:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jwyfl/its_only_fun_when_im_losing/
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But I'm rarely losing. I'm just binging and occasionally purging and constantly obsessing over food and trying to restrict and hating myself because I fail. I fucking hate this fucking disorder. Fuck food fuck my body fuck everything.
[Rant/Rave] triggered by dating?
/u/bunkbedsex
Created: Thu Dec 14 19:42:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jwu3l/triggered_by_dating/
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hi guys! i'm kind of happy i found this sub because i can related to SO many of these posts. that being said, does any one else feel triggered (i hate that word by the way) by someone you're talking to? like, sometimes i feel as if boys would fall in love with me if only i was skinny.
I actually got down to 126 at the beginning of this summer but went through a breakup and went back up to 145 at the highest in september :/ I'm currently at 138 and seeing someone right now but they haven't texted in a few days and it's making me feel like, if i was skinnier they definitely would have reached out by now.
Ah, thanks for letting me vent :D
[Discussion] Parents who struggle/live with Eating Disorders?
/u/moncai-mama
Created: Thu Dec 14 19:15:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jwood/parents_who_strugglelive_with_eating_disorders/
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What is your life like?
Ive had an ED for as long as I can remember. At age 23, I miraculously conceived my son and became dedicated to my health. I gained a much needed 40lbs, ate snacks and meals, and for some reason, thought I was “cured” despite all the same thought patterns remaining.
I had a miscarriage in the past because of my weight, so this felt a lot like a second chance and I was happy.
After I gave birth to a perfectly healthy baby, I began to shed the baby weight in my old ways. But now it was WAY EASIER. I wasnt stick thin anymore so no one was worried about if I was eating enough, breastfeeding burned up a ton of calories everyday, and I was so busy taking care of my baby that eating didn’t even cross my mind a lot of the time.
Now Im a stay at home mom, I run my own business on the weekends, and if I skip dinner no one will ever know. My SO comes home and asks if im hungry. All I say is “I already had dinner thanks” which isnt a lie, I just counted my 4pm lunch my dinner. I maintain a usual maximum of 700-800 cals a day.
Im pregnant again, but still maintaining a 119lbs right now. I really don’t want to get fat and pregnant again, but Im happy to have another baby. Its so wrong to feel excited for this, but after I give birth a second time, its going to be twice as easy to lose weight without anyone noticing. Or really even trying.
[Help] I need advice.
/u/taiteisnotcool [5'7 | 128ish? | 19.9 | -20 | Female]
Created: Thu Dec 14 18:53:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jwk42/i_need_advice/
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Hi! Today I went to see my doctor (for my ed) and after telling her and my dietician about my eating habits and how I’m still not ready to fully recover even after 12 months being in and out of treatment, and my doctor said I either go to residential or get an ng tube unless I get my shit together. The thing is I’ve been out of school for some time because of school related anxiety due to very large amounts of kids in one class at my public school, and after Christmas break I’m supposed to be going to a new, much smaller school (only 35 people in my grade) that is hard to get into. So basically if I can’t eat 2250 calories a day with or without ensure to help, on Wednesday she will tube me (even thought I’m not underweight anymore and weight restored at 123-128 at 5’7) and I would have it at my new school and have it until I’m ready for residential. Should I just give in and do what they say to avoid residential or a tube? It’s just so difficulty stop restricting when I know that I was so much sicker than I am before and eating more than 1000 a day is so hard for me... help? Does anyone have any experience with ng tubes???
[Rant/Rave] I think I've made the wrong decision.
/u/skydiver89 [skinny fat AF at 5'4" and 140 lbs]
Created: Thu Dec 14 18:22:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jwdh0/i_think_ive_made_the_wrong_decision/
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Yesterday, I went to an ED clinic to get an assessment and they gave me options. They said the best option for me would be to go inpatient. This really freaked me out. I cannot put on anymore weight guys. Everyone I see says I look good at my weight, but I really am disgusting naked. I'm fat and pudgy. I knew if I went inpatient they would having me eating who knows how many calories a day?
But now..I'm fucking dizzy. I'm too weak to go to my partial hospitalization (not ED related) program. I just sleep all day. I'm so sick of this shit. The other night, my ex (who is amazing) and I talked on the phone for two hours. I didn't tell him all that was going on me with me. I did tell him I was struggling with some stuff, but didn't feel comfortable talking about it. He wants to get together soon....and I think that's what has kept me from going inpatient. So stupid...over a guy...who will be there for me when I get out.
I'm so stupid. I do think I need inpatient, but I'm scared about what will happen in there and what will happen on the outside while I'm in there. I'll be missing the holidays with my friends. I don't want to miss that either.
[Other] "So what do you eat?"
/u/Fatalope [5'4| CW 150 | GW 104 |HW 168 | 19 F]
Created: Thu Dec 14 18:15:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jwc5y/so_what_do_you_eat/
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My boss just asked that because between a mix of allergies, "allergies", pickyness and an ED (that he doesn't know about obvs) my selection of foods available to me is very little.
Lets see 🤔🤔
Tea
Ice lollies (my vice)
Sugar free gum
Diet sodas
Diet energy drinks (college y'all)
More tea
Soups
Crackers
Rice cakes (holy fucking shit love those things)
And did i mention tea 🤔
What do you guys eat?
Edit: because mobile.
Edit 2: because dyslexia
[Discussion] DAE get paranoid about taking up space?
/u/fractalviscera [5'4" | CW 105 | GW 102 | 18.4 | 23f]
Created: Thu Dec 14 18:12:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jwbbs/dae_get_paranoid_about_taking_up_space/
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(on mobile; would be grateful if someone could flair as discussion)
obviously there's the whole being paranoid about how much space your body takes up, which i know i and probably a bunch of you have experienced, but what about your belongings/physical objects taking up space?
mostly i'm asking because i'm at work and was reminded that i had to fill up some document shred bins at my boss's request, and they won't be emptied until after the holidays, so now everyone else has to wait to dump their own documents. there's no real way to fix the problem except to wait, but i get really anxious and can feel that acid reflux creeping up the back of my throat. i was raised by obsessive compulsive parents, and when i was younger my dad really struggled with his ocd and associated anger issues and would sometimes take it out on me and other family members. that probably adds another special layer of hell on top of all this for me, but if any of you also struggle with, say, feeling like you've committed a moral sin for leaving something even slightly out of place in a common area, i'd love to hear about it.
[Thinspo] goals
/u/hajerx
Created: Thu Dec 14 17:55:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jw7p7/goals/
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https://i.redd.it/cusqnsp9iz301.jpg
[Discussion] DAE have this realisation during a binge-period?
/u/mina1200
Created: Thu Dec 14 17:32:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jw2ml/dae_have_this_realisation_during_a_bingeperiod/
---
I have this weird realisation when I'm going through a really bad binge that like, I can actually just have any food...ANY food! It's weird to explain but it's just so overwhelming thinking of the fact that nothings stopping me from buying ANYTHING i crave... and I am actually free to do as I please with my money and buy food?! Like what!!!
So then I end up buying sushi, then going to kfc, then buying and finishing 2 bags of doritos, then buying some cookies, maybe a meal deal, a kebab wrap from that one good place, chocolate bars and wafers from the vending machine, oh and those 50p indian crisp things, that tuna sandwich from pret thats really really yum, a tub of b&j, fish out some left-over dominoes from my friends out the trash can, maybe finish a box of ritz while im at it, oh and that one tesco sells cheeze-its, and fries from mcdonalds because i can....
A follow up on the Secret Santa post! I hope this is okay!
/u/afraidofjudgement [4'9 | 103 | 21.5 | -57 | F |]
Created: Thu Dec 14 17:06:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jvvo0/a_follow_up_on_the_secret_santa_post_i_hope_this/
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Who all is excited about doing this?! I'm so excited! I don't know who my person is, just her name and address, but, I finished getting her gifts today and I should be mailing it off tomorrow or Saturday. Anybody else done too?
[Discussion] what I see in the mirror :(
/u/dicefish
Created: Thu Dec 14 16:04:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jviqt/what_i_see_in_the_mirror/
---
https://i.redd.it/cl0whz8hyy301.jpg
[Other] My teeth are the only thing keeping me from binging.
/u/ashirun97
Created: Thu Dec 14 16:01:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jvi48/my_teeth_are_the_only_thing_keeping_me_from/
---
While brushing my teeth last night- I noticed. The bottoms of all my teeth are getting clear. It’s fucking terrifying me. I’ve wanted to binge so many times today but purging is 100% off the table. So stressed.
Lying on MFP
/u/deathpetals
Created: Thu Dec 14 15:47:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jvenp/lying_on_mfp/
---
I'm someone who has branched out on forums to make supportive My Fitness Pal friends, and for the most part, it's been a wonderful choice. People are supportive.
But I'm disordered. I've lost and gained and lost and gained and gained and gained. I'm coming down from my heaviest right now. I have a college transfer coming up right now. I have a lot of pressure on me, right now.
... even if it is self-imposed.
I've been restricting the past two weeks or so, around 5-900 (the most being days I work out), and have been lying to my MFP community about my intake. My diary is public. I'm active on the site. But I lie about my intake... (I even lie about my weight loss, which I logged as 2lb heavier than it was today...). Yesterday, one of my friends told me I needed to eat more, which at first bothered me, but then I found darkly hilarious. She doesn't know how right she really is.
Even my lies are lacking. I can't even stand FAKE calories barely over 1000. Hahahahaha. *sigh*
I'm. A. Fuckin'. Fraud.
[Thinspo] What's the most unintentional thinspo you've ever read/seen?
/u/FeedMeDreams [5'5" | 66.7kg | 24.5 | F | bulimic]
Created: Thu Dec 14 14:55:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jv1ui/whats_the_most_unintentional_thinspo_youve_ever/
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I like the Terry Pratchett Discworld books which include Agnes Nitt. I don't even really know why. Something about being 'fat, but with a wonderful personality' resonates with me. She's always meeting skinny, pretty girls who can wrap people around their little finger and are always the centre of attention, and then there's Agnes, large enough to be invisible. What are some things you've read/seen which are really motivating without actually being 'thinspo'?
[Goal] Deciding to...
/u/tattoosandcoffeee [5'3.75 | CW 138| GW 100 | -21]
Created: Thu Dec 14 14:46:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7juzom/deciding_to/
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NOT weigh in until 2018. Whos in? Im sick of the emotional ups & downs lately, so Im going to stick to my fasting & restriction schedule thats been working, but just not weigh myself until at least Jan 1st..possibly a whole month from now. :)
[Other] I withdrew from university indefinitely and will be checking into a urgent mental health care facility tomorrow...
/u/bralettes [5'6" | 20F]
Created: Thu Dec 14 14:39:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7juxxp/i_withdrew_from_university_indefinitely_and_will/
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and honestly I've never looked more forward to anything in my life. I'm tired of feeling like a constant failure, tired of being used by men and tired of living. I can't wait to be away from everything, away from my parents, away from all the people who have hurt me, and away from all the little expectations that literally eat me alive each and everyday. I'm most excited for the fact I'm most like going to eat shitty hospital food that will make me lose my appetite and since I'm not going to school anymore I'll just run and eat and purge all I want.
And I'm kinda happy that this happening because now I can just focus on being good enough and skinny enough and worthy of someone's real attention.
Hating myself for getting half-excited to be alone on Christmas.
/u/anonymousalmondmilk
Created: Thu Dec 14 14:16:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jus14/hating_myself_for_getting_halfexcited_to_be_alone/
---
I recently moved to LA. My dad was originally going to come out to be with me for Christmas since I wouldn’t be able to get enough time off work to fly back to the east coast.
I just found out he can’t come. I was devastated because my dad is my hero. My favorite person in the world. I wanted so desperately to see him for the holidays.
But then the irrational side of me came out and i started getting excited to be alone for the holidays. No pressure to eat what I don’t want to. No temptations. I can be in control of everything.
As I sip my cherry Diet Coke for lunch, that sounds like a dream. I want to keep going. I don’t want anything to get in my way. Even if it means having a fucked up, conflicted celebration over being alone on Christmas.
(Sorry — on mobile and can’t flair.)
[Help] Ok this is a stretch but
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 111 | 20.3 | -24 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 14 13:49:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7juk0f/ok_this_is_a_stretch_but/
---
Several months ago I was talking with someone on here about an online food tracker, that broke down your macros and stuff, it was really really nice. They also had a premium version, that at the time I considered buying. Now I can't remember what the site was or the program. I'm pretty sure it was a website, not a computer app. Does anyone have the faintest idea what this could be??
[Discussion] What social media do you spend most of your time on?
/u/peachpuss [5'7" | 147 lbs | 23 | ~43 | female]
Created: Thu Dec 14 13:30:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jufn4/what_social_media_do_you_spend_most_of_your_time/
---
Other than Reddit I’ve mostly been into Instagram, but I haven’t found many people to follow.
I used to use Tumblr exclusively but after a few years away it’s actually really hard to get back into the swing of it! Plus I lost what little of a touch I had for coding, so without aesthetic satisfaction what’s the point of a blog?
MPA has been a pain in my ass on mobile so I hardly lurk on there anymore.
I’m just looking for a community where we can safely discuss numbers and post photos without getting patronized and/or reported for everything! It seems like no matter where you go online you’re in big trouble if you’re open about EDs, but blatant racism and sexism is chill. *eyeroll*
Who do you follow and where? Thanks, birds!
[Rant/Rave] Schrödinger's Height Complex
/u/loseitjen [5'8 |SW 140|CW 125|GW 115| F21]
Created: Thu Dec 14 13:30:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7juff9/schrödingers_height_complex/
---
So recently I've realized I'm not 100% sure how tall I actually am. I've always just guess based off of other peoples' heights that I'm 5'8" (also probably secretly hoping I am. But every time I calculate BMI/TDEE/BMR I check 5'7" also just in case and it terrifies me lmao. I keep asking people around me to guage how tall I am, like a crazy person would do, and keep getting inconsistent results lmao. IT'S DIRVING ME NUTS AND I'M SO CLOSE TO BUYING A MEASURING TAPE TO EITHER GIVE ME PEACE OF MIND OR DESTROY IT BUT I'D AT LEAST KNOW. Anyway, I'm crazy and am 5'8" til proven 5'7".
[Rant/Rave] Well, f*ck.
/u/artful_heart [5'7.5 | CW 97 | GW1 95 | GW2 92 | UGW 88 | BMI 14.86 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 14 12:44:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ju3ry/well_fck/
---
After being so pleased that I'm down to 97 lbs, what do I do? *Binge on three slices of Domino's pizza, that's what I do.* That's 645 calories that I just wasted. I'm at 720 for the day, and it's not even 2pm.
Worst of all, it didn't taste great and now my stomach's upset.
What a f*cking waste. I guess I'm fasting tomorrow...
[Help] Help, I think I'm about to binge >_<
/u/datnastaythrowaway [H 164 | CW 56kg | GW: 50kg]
Created: Thu Dec 14 10:43:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jt7ci/help_i_think_im_about_to_binge/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Avoiding mirrors
/u/squishykiss
Created: Thu Dec 14 10:33:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jt4r9/avoiding_mirrors/
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I just came out of a 2 week long binge cycle, and I'm too ashamed to do a body check or step on the scale. Does anyone else avoid looking at themselves when they're trying to get back on track w/restricting?
Looking at my body and seeing the weight gain right now would just depress me & make me even more anxious. I'm gonna try and focus on eating clean & sticking to my regime for a solid 2 weeks before I weigh myself.
I feel like such a fraud. Like I don't really have an eating disorder, since I've let myself pig out so frequently this past month or so. I was considering getting a therapist for ED-support and other stuff but now I'm too ashamed and disgusted w my appearance to even consider it.
[Other] Tried to visually represent my ED experience, probably not the most stereotypical representation to make it a "cute" cartoon sidekick.
/u/bagelzboi [5'3 | CW: uhhhhhhhhh scale broke]
Created: Thu Dec 14 08:34:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jsazj/tried_to_visually_represent_my_ed_experience/
---
https://i.redd.it/7cs954pypw301.png
[Rant/Rave] That awkward moment when....
/u/elttil_snatas
Created: Thu Dec 14 08:20:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7js7p7/that_awkward_moment_when/
---
Starbucks gives you a venti latte instead of a tall but you literally can't complain because you just got like twice the c(alories)offee for free.
I love you Starbucks but you make my life so hard 😩
Thanks a lot Three, I didn’t ask for this...
/u/lauraloo0
Created: Thu Dec 14 07:58:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7js2tr/thanks_a_lot_three_i_didnt_ask_for_this/
---
https://i.redd.it/epedeeowjw301.jpg
[Help] I need someone to make me feel better
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 138.2 | BMI 27 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26 F]
Created: Thu Dec 14 07:07:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jrrpp/i_need_someone_to_make_me_feel_better/
---
So after a weekend of eating pretty badly (which I never do anymore) and losing 2 pounds unexpectedly, I was able to go back to normal on Tuesday and I ate about 675 calories. This is awesome for me, I try to stay under or around 1000 since my TDEE is between 15-1600 when sedentary.
I haven't gone to the gym in about two weeks because I was sick for about a week and a half and since then I've just been really fucking anxious about going. I'm planning to go back this weekend and least get some cardio in.
Last night I was doing really well until it got to dinner time. When my BF does taco night, I try to amend things to feel a little less indulgent as tacos are a major, major binge food for me so I do try to enjoy them and just not eat the unnecessary stuff like 5 soft shell tortillas or a bunch of cheese.
Here is what I had:
2/3 cup of yellow rice (wet, so this should be less than 1/4 cup dry)
4 oz ground turkey
A few small campari tomatoes, maybe 3 or 4
1/8 cup of reduced fat cheddar
Maybe a cup and a half of romaine
1 'let's skip the sandwich' wrap
(I made a small 'burrito' with the wrap and used the rest of the turkey and rice and veggies to make a 'burrito bowl'.)
I also had half a pint of Breyer's Delights chocolate so that was around 135. This including my breakfast of nothing and my lunch of a 10oz of lentils put me at 1060 for the day.
1060 made me feel uncomfortably full and I can't figure out why but I just feel really bad about myself, especially after having 675 on Tuesday night and being totally fine.
Is it the rice? I haven't really been eating rice the past couple of months - maybe 3 or less times. I can't figure out why I feel so uncomfortably full, still, this morning. I'm not hungry at all and I feel like I ate a big mac and some fries when in reality I had just over 1000 calories for my entire day, and I probably OVERcounted a lot of stuff just because I was freaking out.
Someone please tell me 1060 is okay and explain to me why 2 months ago I could do 1200 and feel fine and now anything over 800 feels super overindulgent and I feel stuffed and just not good about myself.
[Discussion] Have you been to residential? What did you wish you’d packed?
/u/hellahungryy
Created: Thu Dec 14 06:22:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jrj2r/have_you_been_to_residential_what_did_you_wish/
---
We are not allowed any “craft supplies” whyyyyyy
[Rant/Rave] Feeling down
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 58.8 kg | -24.7 kg | 22F]
Created: Thu Dec 14 06:13:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jrhdc/feeling_down/
---
I'm feeling really sad the last few days and I'm trying to not get full blown depressed again but it's hard.
I really want to heavy restrict again but I can't seem to do it? Today I already had 822 cals and it's only 2pm. Of course that will be it for today but it just seems so much to me, I always feel bad with high restriction.
And because that is not enough to make me feel aweful: I have a date on sunday. A movie date but who knows if we'll go somewhere afterwards so I should be saving cals right? But hooooooow?!
I'm not even that hungry...I just eat. It's still below my TDEE and my scale says I'm losing but it still feels off.
And I'm not nearly as excited about the date than I'm supposed to be or better said, how I expected how exited I would be.
Besides the ED trouble I feel like I'm failing miserably. I should be studying for university but I can't seem to get up and do it. I'm waaay behind and I feel like running away but where to? I wonder why I'm even studying? It seemed like a dream come true when I got admitted and now I just want to quit. But I also don't want to quit at the same time because of future prospects and all. It's just too much.
I just feel really overwhelmed right now and I would love to just not wake up. It's funny how I always wish to just waste away and stop breathing but never actively harm myself, if we don't count starving. I don't want to deal with anything right now but I have to. I think I even forgot how happy feels...the moments and days I felt good feel like a lie, just an illusion.
This turned out longer than I intended but I just needed to put it into words right now. Sorry for the messy writing.
[Rant/Rave] A nice way to kickstart your ed /s
/u/incognitointodrama [5'9" | CW carrot legs | BMI 22,x | GW 110 | f]
Created: Thu Dec 14 06:12:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jrh4z/a_nice_way_to_kickstart_your_ed_s/
---
Step 1) crush on your ex crush who you crushed on like 5 years ago bc he starts texting with you again out of the blue
Step 2) find out that he's living in your old home town, which you'll return to in less than two weeks
Step 3) panic and realize you are not ready to let him see you again after having gained 20lbs
Step 4) do some mild social media stalking and find out that yes, he has a girl friend and they are living in a long distant relationship, also she's very cute
Step 5) panic MORE because you realize that your sparkling personality isn't enough to break up this couple and that you're a bad person for wanting to break up a happy couple in the first place
Step 6) fast for two weeks (after having tried to recover for the last two months) bc you realize that even if there's no chance crush and you are going to get together, at least you want to look your hottest (aka thinnest) just in case you meet him in the city and he spontaneously decides to dump his gorgeous girlfriend for you ugly piece of lard
Yeah fml. What am i even doing.
[Goal] First Fast Attempt
/u/cinnamoncactus [5'6'' |CW112🐞|GW100|18.1|F]
Created: Thu Dec 14 06:10:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jrguw/first_fast_attempt/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Grief
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Thu Dec 14 05:21:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jr8iz/grief/
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Today is the anniversary of my pop pop’s death and I just feel numb and also wrecked if that’s possible. It’s been 6 years and it’s not getting better. All week I’ve felt so out of it, exhausted, just want to sleep, but have ED goals to meet so spend the day numb exercising in winter cold. I have zero appetite but have continued to eat my usual high restriction meal so I don’t completely fall apart, How do you guys cope with grief without spiraling into deeper ED?
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support December 14, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Dec 14 05:11:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jr6r1/weekly_emotional_support_december_14_2017/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! December 14, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Dec 14 05:10:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jr6jd/daily_food_diary_december_14_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 14, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] December 12th - 14th Questions of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 14 04:48:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jr346/december_12th_14th_questions_of_the_day/
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(Ugh sorry guys, I’ve been really depressed lately and just can’t be bothered 💁♀️)
12th: What’s on your wish list?
13th: What is your biggest regret?
14th: Why are you impressive?
Blood when purging
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 14 02:57:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jqnq9/blood_when_purging/
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[deleted]
[Help] Need to choose my terrible late night binge food. Ate Mac and cheese for two meals today. Help me pick?
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Thu Dec 14 01:35:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jqd2q/need_to_choose_my_terrible_late_night_binge_food/
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Honey whet bread with melted cheese (basically grilled cheese), or brown rice and quinoa with melted cheese?
[Discussion] DAE....
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 14 01:22:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jqbet/dae/
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[deleted]
When to know if you are in real danger?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 14 01:19:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jqb10/when_to_know_if_you_are_in_real_danger/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Being skinny but crazy is better than being "normal" but fat.
/u/Hextoria
Created: Thu Dec 14 01:12:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jqa1q/being_skinny_but_crazy_is_better_than_being/
---
Fuck pills.
[Rant/Rave] Being skinny but crazy is better than being fat but "normal".
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 14 01:03:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jq8ww/being_skinny_but_crazy_is_better_than_being_fat/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] It’s going to get better
/u/Hannah-Girl
Created: Thu Dec 14 00:35:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jq50c/its_going_to_get_better/
---
My cousin just died to suicide. There is always another way out. I love you all, and stay safe❤️
[Discussion] Does anyone feel weirdly high when fasting?
/u/Blondebimbobarbie
Created: Thu Dec 14 00:19:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jq2qf/does_anyone_feel_weirdly_high_when_fasting/
---
I get this sense of calmness, and also feel more disclipined and less impulsive. Instead of feeling weaker, I feel stronger and more refined. does anyone else feel this way? I feel like a lazy slob when I eat.
[Rant/Rave] Getting real tired of hearing "I've been so stressed lately, I haven't eaten hardly anything"
/u/Anorexibulemanemia [Height 5'7"| CW: 120 lbs | GW 100 | 20M]
Created: Wed Dec 13 23:45:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jpwzs/getting_real_tired_of_hearing_ive_been_so/
---
With final exams comes stress, and with stress comes disordered coping mechanisms. I swear to Gary fucking Busey, if I hear another student or either of my room mates remark at how they can't seem to eat (in a tone of happiness thinly disguised as reflectively upset) because they're SO stressed, I'm going to lose my fucking mind. Maybe it's because I was raised by narcissistic gluttons, but my default stress habits always lead to eating in excess. I wish I had no appetite when I'm stressed, BECAUSE IM STRESSED ALL THE GOD DAMN TIME. My room mates are always bragging (poorly disguised as complaining) about how they forget to eat or just aren't ever very hungry, and I think they are doing it so that I'll admit that I have an eating disorder so they can talk to me like a 4 year old and fill their mugs with self-congratulatory superiority. Maybe I should play stupid and accuse them of having an eating disorder. SHOW EM HOW IT FEELS TO BE PUT ON BLAST. Fuck a duck. As usual, I apologize for the tangentially psychotic ranting. Next time I'll just peruse the grocery store for a few hours, looking at foods and constantly checking nutrition labels and calculating how many calories are in an entire container
[Rant/Rave] Just spilled a (full) 16oz cup I'd been c/sing into...
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | CW: 120 | GW: small | F]
Created: Wed Dec 13 23:39:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jpw1o/just_spilled_a_full_16oz_cup_id_been_csing_into/
---
...And now there's half-chewed fudge and chocolate water/saliva goop all over my dorm room carpet. This is so. Fucking. Disgusting.
I think it's time to call it a night.
[Rant/Rave] Just had a breakdown over my food scale :(
/u/piecesofthesun
Created: Wed Dec 13 22:38:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jply0/just_had_a_breakdown_over_my_food_scale/
---
Okay, so, rant incoming... I basically had a complete breakdown over my food scale today. I spent ages researching food scales, and finally bought one! Its been working perfectly for almost a year. Yesterday, my flatmate mentioned that their trainer had brought up weighing food and all that jazz. They knew I had a food scale, so we had a short conversation about it. I’m a little weird about my stuff in general, but especially about stuff related to weight and food, so I specifically asked them not to use mine, buuuut I said I would totally love to get them one for Christmas! In fact, I literally went out and bought them one today.
Okay so, fast forward to today. I’ve been restricting pretty intensely lately, and the small amount of actual food (aka not tea or broth) I consume is planned and measured and calculated and blah blah blah. So, I’ve been having a ridiculously stressful month with work, and I had been looking forward to having some of those good thin corn chips and salsa literally all week! I was feeling super good about myself when I got home, so I thought I could also have some chicken breast and all would be well! NOOOOPE.
I walk into the kitchen, go to measure out my corn chips, and my scale is measuring in ounces instead of grams. Which is super beyond bizarre because I only ever measure in grams. Right away I know my flatmate used my scale. I go to change the units, and try to weigh my plate so I can zero it out. The scale goes batshit. It’s fluctuating over 50g on both directions. I take the plate off and the scale is still going crazy and showing between -40g to 80g even when nothing is on it! And this is when I embarrassed the shit out of myself (even though I was alone). I absolutely lost it. I just started crying and freaking out. Like, I felt like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum. Literally sobbing on the counter because my scale wasn’t working. My scale has worked perfectly for almost a year, and the one time my flatmate uses it, it suddenly breaks? Ugh. So obviously, based on my screwed up logic, I couldn’t eat anything at all. My perfect plan, totally ruined, because I couldn’t handle the fact that I wasn’t able to measure my food to the gram. I’ve had an eating disorder for over a decade, but I haven’t ever felt so pathetic before :( I’m not even sure what I’m hoping to accomplish by posting this, but I just... I know y’all will understand even when I sometimes struggle to understand it myself. Lol sooooo anyways, have any of you had ed moments that seem totally ridiculous in hindsight?
(Also, mods, I’m on mobile and I’m sorry but I don’t know how to tag the post from the app!)
[Discussion] Anyone else obsessed with the BBC “global fat scale”?
/u/ankrage
Created: Wed Dec 13 22:10:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jpgws/anyone_else_obsessed_with_the_bbc_global_fat_scale/
---
I’ve seen [this tool](http://www.bbc.com/news/health-18770328) mentioned other places on Reddit, but not here—it calculates your BMI and compares to statistics about people of your gender and age range both globally and in your country. (It really drives home just how fat the United States is.) Sometimes it brings some sanity to my perspective on my weight and sometimes it triggers the fuck out of me, but it’s always kinda fascinating.
[Rant/Rave] It was just a burrito how did it end up like this?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 13 22:08:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jpgfj/it_was_just_a_burrito_how_did_it_end_up_like_this/
---
[deleted]
[Other] Whelp imma need to fast for 48 hours now ☺🔫
/u/oFILo
Created: Wed Dec 13 21:53:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jpdez/whelp_imma_need_to_fast_for_48_hours_now/
---
https://i.redd.it/15ch3jevjt301.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I just ate pizza and cheesy bread and now I wanna cry
/u/littlest-bear
Created: Wed Dec 13 21:35:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jp9qu/i_just_ate_pizza_and_cheesy_bread_and_now_i_wanna/
---
Hahaha why do I do this to myself? I'm ending today with a little over 1300 calories. Intellectually I know that I'm still at a 1000+ kcal deficit today bc I went to the gym but I'm panicking rn because it feels like I'm gaining weight.
And now I can't stop doing crunches to try to burn off what I ate even tho it's impossible.
I hate this 🙃
[Help] Can I fix my osteoporosis?
/u/Bloppitt [5'2 | CW 134 | BMI ??| -30 lbs | 23F]
Created: Wed Dec 13 21:18:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jp6p3/can_i_fix_my_osteoporosis/
---
In 2013 I was anorexic. I fully recovered and now I’m 135 lbs and 5’2, actually OVERWEIGHT, but my osteoporosis never went away. I was only anorexic for a calendar year, and before that obese. How do I fix my bones? I’m only 23.
[Other] How Can I tell if I’m losing a normal amount of weight for my intake/BMI?
/u/vitalogy95
Created: Wed Dec 13 21:04:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jp3wh/how_can_i_tell_if_im_losing_a_normal_amount_of/
---
In other words, I’m worried that I have some sort of health issue that causes me to lose weight more slowly than a normal person. But I don’t know if that’s just me worrying and being impatient or if that’s truly the case.
[Discussion] Who grew up chubby and got thin?
/u/blurryshoe
Created: Wed Dec 13 20:59:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jp2vl/who_grew_up_chubby_and_got_thin/
---
I have always been on the borderline between healthy BMI and overweight. I was always the tallest girl and one of the biggest girls in elementary/junior high so I got a lot of comments, from peers and parents friends about being fat or “a big girl”. Other girls saying they are half my size and so on. I stopped bringing lunch to school in grade 4 and started calorie counting and this is where it all began.
Except I’ve never been thin. I restrict, loose a little weight and binge it right back. I am absolutely sick and tired of this cycle. I refuse to give up until I’m skinny this time. I feel like a complete failure. 11 years of obsessively trying to achieve a goal I haven’t even come close to.
I want to know if any of you grew up never being thin and what it was like when someone actually thought of you as skinny. What is your story?
[Discussion] How do you all deal with Lanugo?
/u/New-Dart [BMI 17.5 | 174cm | F]
Created: Wed Dec 13 20:57:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jp2f6/how_do_you_all_deal_with_lanugo/
---
I feel so self conscious about it, especially on my face (basically sideburns), and I was wondering how everying else deals with theirs?
Do you remove it? If so whats the best way without causing dark regrowth?
Tia xxx
[Intro] Fitter, Happier, More Productive
/u/99lb
Created: Wed Dec 13 20:56:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jp2a9/fitter_happier_more_productive/
---
I cannot believe I only just found this subreddit. I had to make a new profile to subscribe to it though as I just felt uncomfortable using my regular one. Some RL friends know my username and quite a large number of people in my life think I am recovered which is not true. My ED is raging at about 90% of what it was 16 years ago when it first started. Maybe they think I am too old to still have it?
I would consider myself a functioning orthorexic meaning I dance a very fine line between ED-caused health problems and being my ideal weight. I'm also kind of puritan about food. I don't "do" junk.
I've been an active member of several online pro-ana groups in the past, many of which have now long closed down. The latest big group seems to filled will teenagers. A lot of under 18's are there which makes me a bit uncomfortable if I'm honest. I'm 36 (how the hell did that happen?!).
So I guess this is my intro post.
[Discussion] ED Behaviors vs. Thoughts
/u/takayl [5'10 | 178 | 25 | -20 | 18F]
Created: Wed Dec 13 20:24:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jovtg/ed_behaviors_vs_thoughts/
---
So I recently started thinking about the difference between ED thoughts (I don’t deserve to eat, I’m fat, etc) and the behaviors (restricting, purging, c/s, binging). I feel like an ED fraud and I’m scared to bring anything up with my therapist because I have very clear ED thoughts and I have a lot of compulsive behaviors - I have all the symptoms of non purging bulimia aka exercising to burn off calories from binges - but lately it’s been so cold and I’ve had finals and even though my anxiety goes through the roof if I can’t exercise off a binge, I just don’t have time or energy to go to the gym. Anyway, since this means I’m kind of in control of my behaviors but not my thoughts, I’m not sure if I really have an ED. just curious about if other people see any difference in their thoughts vs. behaviors and if they can like stop one but not the other or something
[Rant/Rave] Caught in the middle
/u/anauhiram96
Created: Wed Dec 13 20:21:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jovam/caught_in_the_middle/
---
I believe this won't bother anyone, so I decided to bring it up. Lately I've been feeling like I unlocked a deeper level in this Disordered Eating thing, and it's kind of odd. It's something you can't ever know with a certainty, but the feeling sort of goes like this: I'm in a moment of clarity where it hasn't consumed me enough for me to be trapped, but enough for it to be difficult and even scary to get out of.
It's strange to explain, but I guess it's worth it to ask if anyone understands. I would love to know what you guys have to say if you do.
[Discussion] DAE say things/almost say things to people that you then realize normal people don't say?
/u/Darcydoll127 [5'10 | 158lbs | 22.75| -69lbs| F]
Created: Wed Dec 13 20:20:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jov1w/dae_say_thingsalmost_say_things_to_people_that/
---
Can mods please flair as discussion, I don't know how to do it on mobile.
So today this girl I work with was wearing a loose top and she's very thin and her collarbones were visible. Like a weirdo I started to comment and say "wow you have really nice co....colors on today" I legit had to act like I choked on my spit to cover up the fact I almost complimented her collarbones. 😅
[Rant/Rave] Why can't I control myself
/u/themomofthegroup
Created: Wed Dec 13 20:19:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jouz2/why_cant_i_control_myself/
---
Hey guys. I'm a long time lurker of this sub and have never posted so sorry if my formatting is horrible--I will learn eventually I guess. Anyway, today I fasted until I decided to have a low calorie salad with only a little olive oil as dressing. After that it's like I just could not get enough food. I still managed to eat under 900 calories today and was very active and already worked out but I just can't stop thinking about how I didn't even need that salad. I wasn't even that hungry. Would I have lasted the whole day if I didn't eat it? Why can't I control myself? Does anyone know how I am feeling.
[Rant/Rave] I saw my therapist's weight lol
/u/cuttoarose
Created: Wed Dec 13 20:13:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jotmi/i_saw_my_therapists_weight_lol/
---
weird! Has anyone else been fascinated with how much their therapist weighs? Today, we needed to weigh me (fuck my life) and the scale wouldn't work. She got new batteries and tried it on herself first. I didn't look cuz I guess that's kinda rude but the number stayed and I saw. Of course she was like whatever cuz normal people don't give a fuck. She was 132 at a very very tall and lean frame. Good for her!
[Rant/Rave] I'm an emotional eater and at one of my highest weights at the moment.
/u/rainbowraptor16
Created: Wed Dec 13 19:50:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jop01/im_an_emotional_eater_and_at_one_of_my_highest/
---
It just sucks. It's my own fault. I have no one to blame but myself. If ANYTHING goes wrong or my mind just turns on me like every other minute, well, food is there. It does nothing for me either. Doesn't make me feel better after eating. My pants that were for work that I've been wearing stopped fitting so I have to wear a different pair to work now. The biggest places I've grown are by far my thighs and ass, I mean fuck, my thighs have gotten 3-5 inches bigger in like a month or two and my hips, waist, yup, grown too. I have no friends. Not one. I'm sad and lonely. I am 145.3 and 5ft 6.5inches, when just a month ago or I was 10 pounds less, which is my usual weight, I'd like to be 130 in the next month or so, but who knows, I always mess everything up, so I won't set a time limit. I mean it's 10 pounds but man it looks like so much more because of the fat I've accumulated and not fitting in certain pants anymore and any shirt I wear seeming like it shrunk. More than likely I am at my highest weight, not one of my highest weights, but I'm just in denial like usual. I don't exercise. I have an eliptical in the garage but am too unmotivated and cold to get out of bed. I have an excuse for everything. Do I count calories? No. Does my phone suck at storage? Yes. Sucks that this is happening now when SAD is right around the corner. I could go on and on. I don't know. Tell me I'm not alone and I'll get through this?
[Discussion] What’s your favorite herbal tea flavor?
/u/quoth_the_phoenix
Created: Wed Dec 13 19:22:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7joix4/whats_your_favorite_herbal_tea_flavor/
---
I’m obsessed with celestial seasonings. Top 3 are Candy Cane Lane, Black Cherry, and Sangria Zinger. Sometimes I spike Sangria Zinger with vodka bc I do not live well.
[Discussion] Types of mono diets?
/u/I_donut_carrot_all [5'6| 85 | 13.71 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 13 19:21:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7joiod/types_of_mono_diets/
---
Seriously thinking of trying a mono of almonds. I've done cereal, peanut butter, potatoes, chicken, and so many other things. I was wondering what you guys have tried? Usually if I'm craving something and can't stop binging on it, I'll just go all in until I don't crave it anymore. But with how high cal nuts are... Idk. Has anyone else done any type of monos?
[Discussion] Does anyone else have GI issues?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 13 19:04:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jof8s/does_anyone_else_have_gi_issues/
---
I have GERD and it's really frustrating because I feel like that should deter me from eating since I feel nauseated all the time and like I'm going to vomit after, and yet I STILL DO IT. I feel like if that doesn't work, nothing will. DAE experience this?
[Help] Plateauing and freaking out
/u/ParanoidPancreas [5'11" | CW 153 | GW 148 | UGW 138 | 25F]
Created: Wed Dec 13 18:22:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jo6az/plateauing_and_freaking_out/
---
Someone please talk me down... my only driving force in my life recently has been to reach my first goal weight of 148 lbs by Dec 31st. It's literally the only thing I'm looking forward to in my life right now.
But I have plateaued HARD even though I've been eating 800 cals a day (which is even less than I was usually doing of about 1000). Wtf is happening??? I know I'm approaching my period soon but I've never plateaued this hard! Normally I just hold water weight for 2 days and then woosh.
Here are my weigh ins the past week:
Dec 07 - 154.2
Dec 08 - 153.8
Dec 09 - 154.2
Dec 10 - 153.6
Dec 11 - 154.2
Dec 12 - 154.0
Dec 13 - 154.0
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING. I'm so upset :(
[Rant/Rave] I started taking my Welbutrin around lunch time
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 136.5 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Dec 13 17:40:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jnxa9/i_started_taking_my_welbutrin_around_lunch_time/
---
And holy crap my appetite has decreased soooooooooo much! I usually would take it at night. But I'm taking it with lunch from now on!
I’ve been binging like crazy sooo...
/u/Whisper_silence [5'2" | 113.3 | 21(Fitbit) |-21.5 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 13 17:39:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jnx0a/ive_been_binging_like_crazy_sooo/
---
I’m fasting until a party this coming Saturday. I will allow liquids with calories lower than 60 (I have a sparkling water I love) and soup (glorified beef stock cube) for electrolytes etc. Anyone with me?
Edit: on mobile, can’t flair.
How many trans folks are here? (Nb included!)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 13 17:29:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jnuvy/how_many_trans_folks_are_here_nb_included/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Has this been said before?
/u/clemintide
Created: Wed Dec 13 17:25:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jntxq/has_this_been_said_before/
---
I started thinking about when I had gone from only displaying the warning signs to then having a full blown eating disorder, and how once it kinda gets that far, well there’s no just waking up one day and it being gone.
I concluded to myself, “it’s not a good way to live but the only way to live.” I hate it but I also can’t see my life without it. All of my rules... it gives me structure and “control.” Show’s me, “how to live,” while also slowly destroying me. But it isn’t even the control I’m really after anymore, it’s warped into an addiction and a coping mechanism almost?
[Discussion] Water fasting...Kik buddy anyone?
/u/ballerinainpain [5'5" | CW: 117 | BMI: fatass | GW: 75 | vegan]
Created: Wed Dec 13 17:14:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jnrdg/water_fastingkik_buddy_anyone/
---
[removed]
[Help] Chipotle
/u/AbandonEarth [5'11" | 121.4 | 16.9 | :'(]
Created: Wed Dec 13 17:12:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jnqzz/chipotle/
---
First off, hurray!! I got a job 😄!
However, it turns out I get a free meal every shift I work (probably wouldn't have even applied if I knew that lol). I don't want to seem insulting or invite questions as to why I would refuse free food, but everything seems horribly calorific and having other people prepare my food is dreadful. I'm guessing my one lunch today was ~728kcal (!!!) since accurate portions aren't exactly the highest concern.
Any suggestions on how not to hate myself calorie and macro wise without drawing eyeballs from my coworkers?
There is [this calculator](https://www.chipotle.com/nutrition-calculator#nModal) online which I actually found fun to plan things out on. It gives you a rough estimate of everything and after playing around with it for a few hours and here are two options I don't feel two terrible about:
>**Meal 1:** Salad: romaine lettuce, pinto beans, fajita vegetables, tomato salsa, green chili salsa, red chilli salsa, more romaine lettuce. *Total: 235*
>**Meal 2:** Burrito bowl: sofritas, pinto beans, fajita vegetables, green chili salsa. *Total: 315*
Would these look suspicious (especially since my coworkers seem to eat a lot)? What is your typical meal when/if you go?
Any help would be appreciated! thanks. (Also, on mobile, will flair when I get home.)
[Help] Suggested Diet Pills?
/u/mibunnie [5'2" | CW:178 | GW:115 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 13 16:20:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jncl0/suggested_diet_pills/
---
[removed]
[Help] Good resources for BMR/RMR calculators?
/u/WhoNeedsSoulsAnyway [5'5 | 132 lbs | 22.22 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 13 16:13:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jnaxs/good_resources_for_bmrrmr_calculators/
---
Hi all you lovely people! I'm trying to plan out my meals to make sure that I'm getting enough calories, but I'm having trouble finding a reliable source on how many I'll burn in a day. It seems like every website comes back with a different number, what sort of metrics do you all use?
[Discussion] Does anyone like to chew gum between meals or when they feel hungry but do not want to eat?
/u/acidicneedle_
Created: Wed Dec 13 15:57:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jn6y3/does_anyone_like_to_chew_gum_between_meals_or/
---
I like to do this! It almost feels like I'm eating but not. Also, if you do what gum do you like to chew? I personally love chewing gum.
[Help] What is peaches?
/u/smallmadscientist [5'2" | SW: 160 | CW: 138 | -22 | GW: 110 | F 23]
Created: Wed Dec 13 15:53:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jn5ub/what_is_peaches/
---
I keep seeing mentions of peaches, from all that I can gather, it’s an app of sorts?
[Rant/Rave] Turning down parishioner-lasagna because I'm horrible
/u/edthrowawaywhoops [5'9"| CW: 130| GW: Kate Middleton| F|🍑:Whoopsie]
Created: Wed Dec 13 15:43:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jn3k3/turning_down_parishionerlasagna_because_im/
---
I work as a pastor and one of my amazing parishioners decided to prepare dinner for one of my committee meetings tonight and is making lasagna and salad.
I only have 120cal budgeted for dinner (and was planning on just heating up a can of progresso bc i had forgotten about this dinner) and so now I'm trying to figure out how to gracefully decline the lasagna (pasta and cheese are my fave foods and im so bad at not eating food that is available in front of me and free) and only have salad and also manage to keep myself from stuffing my face with the rolls she's bringing along, too.
They're framing it as such a nice thing to share a meal together, and I 100% agree as Pastor-Whoops, but as anxious-about-unplanned-food-Whoops, I am screaming inside because committee meeting food is historically my downfall (which is why I started bringing soup for myself in the first place, bc it takes a long time to eat so I wont be tempted to eat the other food).
I'm hoping it'll work to just fill up a ton on salad and pray (no pun intended) it isn't pre-dressed, and then just take a bite or two of lasagna and say my stomach has been acting weird so i'm avoiding cheese or something...
Whyyy must my parishioners be so lovely and generous and kitchen-savvy?
[Help] I’ve been binging for the past week or so and I can’t seem to gain control again; how do you guys get back in track?
/u/pizzainthebasement
Created: Wed Dec 13 15:37:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jn21e/ive_been_binging_for_the_past_week_or_so_and_i/
---
I used to be 122.8 lbs and now I’m 127.8! I’m 5’4”.
I was doing so well before this. So well. Every day I was losing. I feel disgusting and afraid that I’ll binge again tomorrow too.
I’m begging you guys, please help me. If any of you guys have suggestions to gain back control, do tell :)
[Help] take out Chinese food??
/u/coffeeanddietcokee [5'9'' | 136.5 | 20.? | GW5 135 | GW6 130]
Created: Wed Dec 13 15:34:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jn15z/take_out_chinese_food/
---
HELP!! quick lower calorie and LOW SODIUM take out Chinese options ?? no sushi preferably. thank you!!
[Intro] Need to feel in control again
/u/sad_but_radthrowaway
Created: Wed Dec 13 15:03:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jmrmi/need_to_feel_in_control_again/
---
The only time I've actually felt in control of my life was while obsessively controlling my weight and eating habits. After a breakup over a year ago, I spiraled into BED and went from 100 lb to 135 lb. I'm tired of wanting to crawl out of my skin 24/7 because I have no self control.
I've lurked this sub forever and love how sweet and supportive everyone is. I love you all and appreciate having people who struggle with the same feelings. This is the only place I know I can come to where people can relate.
Anyways, I've realized there's about two months until Valentine's Day. If I spend it alone, at least I can spend it feeling a little less ashamed.
Thank you all for existing, you lovely people; I'm sorry for all of the struggles you go through. You're all worth so much.
My accountability: https://imgur.com/a/1j2Ff
[Help] Trapped, Stressed, Hurting
/u/bpd-ed
Created: Wed Dec 13 14:51:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jmo8y/trapped_stressed_hurting/
---
*on mobile, tag as Help, I think. I need support*
This round of relapse started in September. It started with eating a bit less, then counting calories, then restricting to 1200, 1000, 900, 800, 500, and in the last few weeks around 400. The limit is getting lower as I deal with more stress. I am getting to a point where I can't deal with my eating disorder either.
I've used many forms of unhealthy coping (yay bpd) and this has been the worse my ED has been. I'm at 98lbs at 5'2" and I still feel huge. This is my main source of self harm right now and my only source of a sense of accomplishment and reaching goals. I'm exhausted all the time. I am depressed from other things but this adds to it. This is a way to deal with stress and now it's adding more stress.
I'm so afraid to eat more. I am terrified of gaining weight. I am terrified of eating more than 500 calories but I can feel myself deteriorating. I know I need to eat more but I can't convince myself that I will still lose while eating more than 500 cal/day.
I feel so trapped and exhausted I just want to die.
[Rant/Rave] Underweight and have binge eating disorder
/u/luxklepto
Created: Wed Dec 13 14:46:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jmn08/underweight_and_have_binge_eating_disorder/
---
I really don't restrict anymore. I only binge. I use to restrict when I was depressed, but not really anymore ever since being on antidepressants. Now I just eat two meals a day. One small breakfast, and I binge at night. So I tell my psychiatrist and PCP that, and they're like, oh you have binge eating disorder. And I was kind of surprised because I'm underweight (17.2 BMI). They definitely diagnosed me with BED though. But then, I got prescribed vyvanse for that and ADHD, so I guess there are perks to it?
I feel like BED isn't really talked about here that much. Even among ED communities, its viewed as really shameful. I think I'm kind of fortunate in a way to be underweight with BED rather than overweight because I think I'd be viewed very differently, or maybe that's just in my head.
But I was going to ask, anyone here diagnosed with BED but not overweight?
[Discussion] Are there any downsides to chew&spit?
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Wed Dec 13 14:21:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jmgop/are_there_any_downsides_to_chewspit/
---
I just C/S a donut and it was glorious. Wondering if there are any known health effects of doing this regularly though. (On mobile, can't tag)
[Rant/Rave] "you look anorexic" + how to prevent boobs from getting smaller??
/u/grape_fruits [5'3.5" | CW 102.6 lbs | 19F]
Created: Wed Dec 13 13:59:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jmb8h/you_look_anorexic_how_to_prevent_boobs_from/
---
I spend a lot of time with my boyfriend so he's probably noticed that I haven't been eating much. Not sure what happened but I bought a box of Primatene and only EC stacked 4x but even when I don't, I have no feelings of hunger. Like I get stomach sounds but it's just a sound, no urge to eat.
TMI but after sex we were just laying in bed naked and lately he's been touching my hip bones and ribs (they stick out a lot, even when I was 120 lb). I mentioned that I thought my boobs were getting smaller and later when I got dressed, he was like "yeah there's a gap between bra and boob", and then something along the lines of "you look anorexic".
I'm kinda glad someone noticed and cares but also I kinda don't want to get too far. I want to be skinny such that I could be naturally skinny but no one can tell. Right now I weigh less than I did for most of high school, so I'm not sure if I should feel validated or worried. Also, the boobs thing- they've always been tiny and my ideal aesthetic/body type is curvy but skinny, not waifish or androgynous and I'm really struggling with it.
TL;DR: boyfriend might be onto me, I need boob help
[Help] Craving fats
/u/agentcherrycola
Created: Wed Dec 13 13:50:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jm8yi/craving_fats/
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I used to have a real problem with sugar/carb cravings, but recently I’ve started having a real problem with fatty foods instead. It’s mostly peanut butter and cheese rather than fried foods, but sometimes also curries and other fatty (rather than fatty and protein-y, like meats) foods.
I used to really crave starchy carbs like potato, and I’ve just finished my first term at uni where I’m catered, meaning that my diet has ended up being rather carb-heavy despite my best efforts, and definitely lacking in vegetables (it’s mostly traditional home style meals and fried food).
Either way, I don’t think I’m lacking fats in my diet so this craving is really getting to me. I’ve just come home where there’s always peanut butter in the house which is definitely making it harder. Also gained over 10lbs since the summer through a combination of taking a sedentary job/going back to being a student/drinking too much so trying to get back to restricting and this is really killing me. I used to be so good at skipping meals or replacing them with broth and tea and not really getting cravings or getting too hungry so the weight initially fell off which just makes this gain feel so much worse... especially because I’m visiting boyfriend’s family in Australia for the first time in 2 weeks where I’ll have to expose my whale body in a bikini
[Rant/Rave] Just want to be loved
/u/lavenderbruises [5'9"|CW 115| GW 100| BMI 16.74| 19F]
Created: Wed Dec 13 13:09:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jly7z/just_want_to_be_loved/
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I just want someone to tell me I’m beautiful and someone to validate my insecurities and fall in love with me despite all of my flaws. Someone to save me from this unbearable loneliness and self-destruction.
[Other] ED Research Participation
/u/edthroawayacct
Created: Wed Dec 13 12:53:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jltyf/ed_research_participation/
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Hi guys, in case any of you are in the Philly area I just participated in an ED research study (using a throwaway so I don't get identified) and wanted to let you all know about it since they are still looking for participants. It was uncomfortable but I made a few hundred dollars over several visits so it was definitely worth it for me. Plus I also felt good about contributing to research. If any of you wanna know more just PM me :)
[Discussion] Some days fat, some days skinny (DAE)
/u/VioletVendetta06
Created: Wed Dec 13 12:16:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jlkfw/some_days_fat_some_days_skinny_dae/
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So each day is a surprise to me for multiple reasons and one of those being my self image. Some days I wake up and feel confident, look in the mirror and say "damn who's that?" Aye lmao. But then there are days like today where I just feel enormous. Every mirror or reflection I see, shows a hefty overweight girl. I've been losing weight too and it's like??? Ugh 😑 just gotta go through the motions I guess and hope that tomorrow I like who I see in the mirror. It can be discouraging sometimes, and makes you wonder what the point is.
Anyone else experience this constantly?
[Rant/Rave] If I didn't live at home I'd be way worse
/u/skyofAuroras [5'10" | CW: 125 | BMI 17.5 |GW: 115 |19F]
Created: Wed Dec 13 11:43:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jlbv8/if_i_didnt_live_at_home_id_be_way_worse/
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I still live at home with my parents and siblings, and they're probably the only reason I'm not worse. They have no idea about my eating habits. I always eat when my parents are home so no one gets suspicious, when I binge it's not too bad, and I never purge because I know someone will hear. Yesterday I binged, and I wanted so badly to try to throw up, but my sister was home (she's 12). If she heard me throwing up in the bathroom she'd be so damm worried. So I didn't do anything.
Honesty if I lived alone I probably wouldn't even buy food. If i lived alone I'd probably be dead. Yeah let's not think about that. By trying not to raise suspicions, and trying not be a bad example for my sister, my family is unknowingly keeping my bad habits from getting worse. Although I quess this makes me a terrible person for lying and hiding so much stuff.
[Discussion] Comments on work lunches and Soylent
/u/onlymildlyanxious [5'1 | CW: 127.4 | SW: 132 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 13 11:17:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jl59w/comments_on_work_lunches_and_soylent/
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So I've started to get more integrated with my colleagues at work (yay) but they all like to eat together in the cafeteria and most people buy food (double not yay because I'm scrimping on money as well as trying to restrict).
I've slowly started bringing Soylent to work and after the initial weirdness and explanations about how yes it's a full meal, no, I'm not starving, yes it's satiating, people kind of expect it and I taper it with buying food every once in a while and bringing food from home too.
But it's really great to skip lunches (oh I've got a talk to go to! or, yeah I've got to finish this thing real quick) and I just have an empty ish bottle that I'm not drinking out of, it's completely for show so no one pressures me to eat because they know it's enough nutritionally. Makes fasting super easy.
I don't think anyone will ever pick up on my shitty eating habits.
[Rant/Rave] She said I was getting fat.
/u/goats-in-trees
Created: Wed Dec 13 10:48:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jkxrj/she_said_i_was_getting_fat/
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So I have been gaining weight these last 6 months due to what I assume is a combo of stress, moving, and a bad break up. It is about 15 lbs and I felt gross and terrible after this conversation I had with my mother.
I used to her a lot how I looked so small and “sick” and absolutely loved it. My mother used to tell me how I needed to gain weight because I was too small and “boys don’t like girls that skinny” or “ you have no ass! You look gross!” That never bothered me, in fact, it was a compliment. I adhered to my strict no dairy at all, read every label to everything and was on top of what I consumed. I felt great! 5’3” and 108 lb with restriction and exercise and lots of water. I have a wide frame so when I’m at 108 you can see ribs in my chest as well as my stomach and I can wrap my hands around my upper things. It felt so nice.
Then I broke up with my boyfriend.
I didn’t want to be in that situation with him anymore and felt it was best to be away from that lifestyle.. drugs, (not anything that can cause weight loss, mainly benzos and drinking) partying.. it was great fun but I was burned out.
When we split, over the course of about 3 month I noticed I was getting fat. I’m now up to 123 and feel HORRID. I already know I need to chill with comfort food and start exercising again and I’m finally not so torn up about the drastic changes. Que my mother. I am living with her again and she doesn’t know my struggles but I thought that she would lay off on commenting on my weight..oh no.. she says things like “wow, you sure have blown up” “ stop eating so much! Your thighs are HUGE!” “Are you SURE you want to eat THAT??” Like dude, yes I’m sure, I am 28, I can eat what I like! She has NO room to comment on my weight, she herself is pushing 200!
I’m hopping back on my previous weight management plan so I hope in about a month I’ll be around 115 then down to 110 where I can be content to lose more slowly until I’m at 105-108. I’d rather hear that I look gross than I look like a whale.
[Discussion] DAE with body dysmorphia feel like every mirror is a “funhouse” mirror?
/u/light_as_a_feather04 [5'6 | 106 | 17.0 | GW: 98| 34/F]
Created: Wed Dec 13 10:30:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jkt70/dae_with_body_dysmorphia_feel_like_every_mirror/
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It’s so frustrating!! Even my full length mirror fucks with my head. Sometimes, I’ll look thin and then sometimes I look obese. Ugh!!!!
[Rant/Rave] What the fuck is wrong with me
/u/afraidofjudgement [4'9 | 103 | 21.5 | -57 | F |]
Created: Wed Dec 13 10:29:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jkt12/what_the_fuck_is_wrong_with_me/
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I've been struggle with eating around 1,000-1,200 for the last couple days to kick me off binging. Yesterday, ate 1,200 and hated myself obviously! Around 10:00 pm before I went to bed, I had this "little devil" tell me to weigh myself before I went to bed. So, I did, 108.4. WHAT THE FUCK. I started hyperventilating and crying. I was 104 this morning! I'm suppose to be about 106-105 before bed (I have it down to a science now).
Cut to me deciding to purge what ever I ate earlier that day. Not much came up, so I just cried. I thought about ending my life last night, 'cause can't worry about weight if you're dead.
I did have a nice plan to fast until Friday so I could have a nice birthday dinner. Well, fuck that plan. Fuck my birthday now. All I want is my weight to go down. I'm to the point I want to cut pieces of fat off me.
This is what I get for trying to be "normal". I can't be normal because I'm sick in the head. I don't want to be like this anymore. I'm tired of these thoughts consuming me. How can I love food so much, but, hate it just the same. I want it so bad, but, I don't?
Plot twist: I woke up and pissed a gallon and I'm 104.4 again. Why are you like this, afraidofjudgement?
[Rant/Rave] Gone to my dad's for Xmas and there's no scale
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5'4" | 120 | 20.54| GW: 115 | NB]
Created: Wed Dec 13 10:10:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jko1w/gone_to_my_dads_for_xmas_and_theres_no_scale/
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Guys I'm freaking out, I weighed myself before I left home and I'm 120 again which is good after rising to 125 again 😓 but now I have no scales until I go home (probably gonna go home before new year) and I'm terrified I'm going to gain weight. I'm stopping with my nan and she loves to feed me and I feel so bad saying no but I'm so close to my goal weight guys, five pounds off!
[Other] Wow I'm disgusting.
/u/decima205 [5'6" | SW: 150 | CW: 138 | GW1: 135 | UGW: 100]
Created: Wed Dec 13 10:02:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jkm58/wow_im_disgusting/
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Just boiled some water like I was making tea, and then put Sriracha in it and drank it.
I was craving those crappy instant ramen noodles, but ramen is nothing but empty carbs, so I drank Sriracha water instead.
Sigh. Why can I just eat like a normal human being.
[Rant/Rave] I’ve never been so disgusted with myself and lack of control
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 17BMI | -165 | 30F | AU]
Created: Wed Dec 13 09:51:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jkjbs/ive_never_been_so_disgusted_with_myself_and_lack/
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I had the day to myself, and night bc the husband was working late. I was going fine striding on not eating until I found out my little Christmas job had no shifts for me, like ever maybe. Then this downward spiral began (it’s sad but we needed even the smallest extra income bc we are struggling)
I got a sandwich, cookies, smoked weed took klonopin(not out of the ordinary but I tend to just smoke to sleep)- smoked, ate it all (12 GIANT cookies) and then got a big bowl of cereal and ate that too then went to sleep
That was 9 hours ago, I just woke up - still feel disgusting in my stomach and mind and I haven’t binged like that in so long, not puposefullly.
I feel like I have no power
[Rant/Rave] angry rant - stupid MLM lady at work told me to use her weight loss products
/u/hoarderline
Created: Wed Dec 13 09:21:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jkbxa/angry_rant_stupid_mlm_lady_at_work_told_me_to_use/
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i'm overweight thx to years of binge eating after 'recovering' from bulimia.. several pounds later i'm trying to get back to my small self. i never feel like myself or like i belogd in my body. i was having these feelings at work today. then next thing you know, this lady (also overweight) comes and gives me her 'business card' for one of those gimmicky laxative teas. which is funny because i've been planning a fast for the past few days.... except my tea doesn't cost 50 dollars *laughing-crying emoji* lol
i'm pretty upset about that.
seems like it's mostly other overweight people who want to act like they have the authority to say what is good for everyone's bodies. it's like it gives them power. of course i'm talking about the ones without EDs. people with EDs regardless of size know that this shit is out of line.
maybe i'm just sensitive.
i don't know... i feel sick to my stomach. the feelings of anger i had towards my body before she approached me are intensified totally
people don't look at me and see a human, they see a fat girl
[Discussion] Restricting while on vacation
/u/tenderlions751
Created: Wed Dec 13 09:19:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jkbcl/restricting_while_on_vacation/
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I’m on day 6 of my vacation and so far I’ve been doing a pretty good job of restricting. The max I’ve probably had is 1400 calories but it’s starting to become a challenge due to so many temptations around me. I’ve now set up timers on my phone to stop the constant grazing but I was wondering if anyone else had any advice? I can feel and see my stomach expanding and I just want to curl into a ball and cry. :(
[Discussion] DAE have no idea what their body actually looks like??
/u/arilgus13 [5'3 | CW: 109 | GW: 103 | 23F]
Created: Wed Dec 13 09:10:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jk8wv/dae_have_no_idea_what_their_body_actually_looks/
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I just want someone to show me a celebrity that I have the same body shape as because I have literally no idea what my body looks like... my sister one time said she thinks my body looks like one of the Olson twins but I was like r u fckn crazy I think it's more similar to Kristen Bell or something. Idk I just have seriously no concept of what my body looks like to other people and I feel like a giant with giant thighs even though I wear smallish sizes and so logically I can't be THAT large but I just feel like I am anyways. Guess that's called body dysmorphia??? Lol figured some of you could prolly relate and just wanted to see if anyone knew of a way to kind of determine what other people actually see when they look at you.
[Rant/Rave] As I sit in the cinema waiting for Star Wars to start, I am wracked with anxiety
/u/bronzeriver [5'3" | SW: 139 | CW: 131 | GW: 110 | 23F]
Created: Wed Dec 13 08:59:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jk61s/as_i_sit_in_the_cinema_waiting_for_star_wars_to/
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Because I didn't actively watch the girl at the concession stand fill up my large Pepsi Max and I'm absolutely terrified that she's given me regular Pepsi.
Thinking about the 500 calories I am potentially consuming is honestly more terrifying than the First Order, lbh
Edit: good movie, tho
[Rant/Rave] Fucking hate this
/u/ashirun97
Created: Wed Dec 13 08:20:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jjwnx/fucking_hate_this/
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Can’t make it more than two days without binging and purging. Although this am was good because I flushed (bad I know) enough to get everything out (yes to an empty morning stomach) and unlike the 1000 other times I am not eating and purging again after it but rather fasting for the rest of the day. Christmas is so fucking soon I could cry. I have to look better by then. Fucking have to.
On top of it a cute guy I always lowkey liked started messing me and my head is telling me to run because no one wants to/should have to date an ugly bulimic girl :-)
[Other] I FINALLY HAD A WOOSH but I'm really confused!
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 138.2 | BMI 27 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26 F]
Created: Wed Dec 13 06:48:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jjb21/i_finally_had_a_woosh_but_im_really_confused/
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I ate like crap all weekend after promising BF I wouldn't calorie count obsessively so we could enjoy our vacation. I probably had 3,000 calories on Saturday and Sunday and close to 2,000 on Monday. I have been 140.2 for almost 2 weeks.
This morning I woke up at 138.2! How could this be? Has anyone else experienced a woosh after eating a lot for a few days? Is it like, not real? Am I missing something here?
[Discussion] Anyone else love the jittery feeling when you first take your EC stack in the morning?
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 147lb | 21.32 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 13 06:40:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jj8wc/anyone_else_love_the_jittery_feeling_when_you/
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I'm not as regimented in taking mine as I used to be, so sometimes I take a few days off here and there and it keeps my tolerance down. When I start up again my first dose of the day is super powerful and I end up getting jittery, almost like I have too much energy and my body doesn't know what to do with it. I love that feeling.
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! December 13, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Dec 13 05:11:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jisid/daily_food_diary_december_13_2017/
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This is a daily food diary thread for December 13, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday December 13, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Dec 13 05:11:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jisdz/way_to_go_wednesday_december_13_2017/
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This is the weekly achievement thread for December 13, 2017.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Discussion] What are your most effective last resorts to keep yourself from breaking a fast?
/u/I_Love_Spiders_AMA [5' 7" | CW 137 | GW 110 | -45 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 13 05:05:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jirh0/what_are_your_most_effective_last_resorts_to_keep/
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I would love to start fasting again periodically but my willpower and self esteem are at such a low from gaining weight the past couple months. What are some things that work for you all?
[Discussion] How many of us have narcissistic parents?
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Wed Dec 13 03:43:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jifcj/how_many_of_us_have_narcissistic_parents/
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I know my ED is linked to self harm and a need for a sense of control and I was curious how many others think their ED is linked to their shitty childhood?
[Rant/Rave] My mind is a mess
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 80 lbs | 15.13 | -27 | f]
Created: Wed Dec 13 03:17:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jibu4/my_mind_is_a_mess/
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Every day I find the divide between who I am and who I want to be growing deeper. I am forgetful and withdrawn and unmotivated. I'm lazy and irrational and restless. I can't focus on anything- school, my writing, socializing- much less complete anything. I have spells of complete psychological paralysis in which I cannot think, cannot breathe, and it's breaking me. My inability to *be* leaves me a sobbing mess more nights than not. I have to wake up for school in three hours and I'm already shaking with dread. I don't want to do anything, even thought I want, so badly, to want to. It gets worse when I'm hungry but I still can't manage to keep even a few bites down.
I don't think I can be helped.
[Rant/Rave] Meghan Trainor : "I tried anorexia".Are you really serious?😬 (x-post : r/rage)
/u/GingerStark [5'9.3" | 20.2 | CW : 138 | GW : 120 | UGW : 110 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 13 02:14:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ji341/meghan_trainor_i_tried_anorexiaare_you_really/
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https://i.imgur.com/algdCz0.jpg
[Discussion] DAE binge to make themselves feel worse?
/u/tangerinesheets [156cm | 46kg | 18.9 | GW: 42 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 13 02:04:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ji1qm/dae_binge_to_make_themselves_feel_worse/
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As someone who primarily restricts, I've noticed that I don't binge as reactive eating or for comfort. I do it to thwart my progress. I don't feel any happiness when I'm searching for what to eat or eating it or failing to purge.
My mindset is that I don't deserve to reach my goal weight. All I deserve is the shame and disgust and eating and being the disgusting person I am on the inside, on the outside too. If I do purge, then I doubly deserve the headaches and heart palpitations.
Does anyone else go through anything similar? Bingeing is often described as comfort or reactive but no ed fits every description..
[Rant/Rave] Breaking point. Thighs and knees the same size..
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 13 02:04:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ji1qe/breaking_point_thighs_and_knees_the_same_size/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Favorite calorie burners?
/u/runjumpflip [5'3 | CW 110 | 19.5 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 13 01:14:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jhuv2/favorite_calorie_burners/
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Hey my dudes, just wondering what you're favorite calorie-burning activities are. Links to workout videos are fine, or just activities. I'm getting really really bored of sit ups and jumping jacks, and it's too cold to go for a walk lol. If you know the number of calories your activity burns, lemme know. Thanks babes!
[Other] 7-part YouTube series following 25-year-old Owen in the days leading up to his admission to an inpatient facility to undergo treatment for anorexia [potentially triggering]
/u/HappierHungry [♀ | 5'10½" | BMI: 17 | CW: 55.5kg | GW: 50kg |]
Created: Wed Dec 13 01:13:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jhuq5/7part_youtube_series_following_25yearold_owen_in/
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https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLXDfF5gq4MXlSdhx07Ea5Up3Ky9R2RV-G
[Discussion] Favorite “What I Eat in a Day” Youtubers?
/u/lordjoji [5'3" | CW: 103 | 18.2 | CGW: 100 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 12 23:29:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jhew6/favorite_what_i_eat_in_a_day_youtubers/
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There was recently a post on here about calculating the calories in what people eat in a day (which I totally do) and I was wondering if anyone has any specific people they like to watch. I recently found Emma Laird (vegan model and so skinny) and I like to watch Trisha Paytas’ when I’m fasting lol. I also just watch a bunch of the “what I eat in a day as a model” videos. Let me know if y’all have any recommendations!
[Rant/Rave] Just feeling so sad.
/u/UncertainlyOrdinary
Created: Tue Dec 12 23:24:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jhe6b/just_feeling_so_sad/
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I want to be thin, delicate, beautiful, boney.
Yet I'm weak, thick, awkward, and plump.
I can't stop thinking about changing. I must change. For me, for my SO, for my kids, for my future. I am tired of this controlling my thoughts, emotions, and actions. I want to be small, so I can stop obsessing and finally be the me I'm supposed to me. I feel like I'm just waiting on my life to start, and it'll start when I stop letting this control me. I refuse to give it all up until I'm down at least 25 lbs though. Until then, I'm okay with being controlled and ruled by my obsessive tendencies towards food. I'm okay with it until it beats me down to a low weight, and then I'm willing work to overcome it. For now, it can win. And through me losing, I will win. And then I'll make it lose by beating it, so I can be in charge of my own life again. Oh gosh I feel so crazy.
[Intro] I hate myself
/u/girltiredofwaiting [5'6" | CW: 240 | SW: 130 | GW: 130| 21F]
Created: Tue Dec 12 22:47:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jh7n4/i_hate_myself/
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I'm a 21 year old college student who should be having the time of her life but is over 100 lbs overweight (5'6" and 241 as of this morning). The first year and a half of college I never ate over 500 calories a day, sometimes 400, and I looked amazing. I thought I was so incredibly fat, but looking back on pictures I was beautiful. Then I got into recovery, got back to a 'normal' weight, and over the past year and a half ballooned up to where I am now. I'm just looking for support, I guess - I want to be back to where I was before. It's weird because the idea of restriction gives me like a mental high, the idea that I'm in complete control of something in my life for once, but when I try again I give into cravings so easily. I guess I just need to get back into the swing of things. I just want people to vent to and help me figure things out again.
Why am I like this??
/u/authornotavailable
Created: Tue Dec 12 22:33:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jh52a/why_am_i_like_this/
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Earlier today I ate over my limit for lunch by 100 calories and my fucked up brain decided not only to purge, but to purge everything I had eaten. Tonight my friends decided to go to ihop. Because I felt guilty about my previous bad decisions I ordered and ate over 1300 calories (more than 3 times the rest of the food I ate today). For some reason my fucked up brain is okay with that but wasn't okay with one roll at lunch. Why the hell am I like this?? I feel bad but part of me wishes this was the meal I purged since now purging earlier feels like a waste.
I’ve had a realization about what fuels my ED
/u/Chaiteathaichi
Created: Tue Dec 12 22:25:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jh3ky/ive_had_a_realization_about_what_fuels_my_ed/
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I always thought it was a fear of gaining weight (and that’s definitely a factor) but I think the bigger thing for me is a fear of becoming comfortable or indifferent to gaining weight. I go through cycles of restricting then gaining them back to restricting (and so on). The thought of becoming unconcerned with eating more and gaining weight makes me feel horrible. It doesn’t help that I’m seeing a dietitian right now. I’m convinced that I’m going to fall back into my gaining pattern and stop caring about what I’m doing.
Wow I'm a bad person
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 12 21:40:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jguxl/wow_im_a_bad_person/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I feel like I’m cheating.
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW:142 |CW:123 |20.6 |GW:110 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 12 21:22:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jgr93/i_feel_like_im_cheating/
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Sorry I’m posting again and being annoying but I’m having a mini freak out. The last I posted was about my hair extensions and how they’re heavy. I took them all out and stepped on the scale and I was literally a pound lighter!
Sounds cool, right? Not.
I put them back in and I keep stepping on the scale. Now I’m back to being a pound heavier just by having extensions in. I know the weight isn’t fat and that it’s not “real” but I feel like I’m cheating now for subtracting a pound every time I have them in. I love my hair like this and I love having a lot of hair but this is freaking me out more than I should and it bothers me that I know I’m a pound lighter without the extensions in.
I want to rationalize it and tell myself that I’ll get heavier just by wearing clothes and shoes and stuff so it’s not a big deal but I constantly wear extensions and I don’t want to take them all out just to weigh myself.
On the other hand it makes me want to fast and lose more weight because of this fake weight, but I feel like I’m willingly adding a pound onto all my progress and I just want to see the real number uuhhghgggg
[Help] I have gained 10lbs since being ill; freaking out about binging
/u/strawstring [Height 5'10 | CW 183lbs | -66lbs | 20F]
Created: Tue Dec 12 20:04:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jga07/i_have_gained_10lbs_since_being_ill_freaking_out/
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I had lost a lot of weight in the past (both through horrible and semi healthy ways) and have been able to maintain around 175. Even though I'm always trying to lose I can get by as long as I'm not gaining... but now I'm more like 185!!!
I tend to fluctuate A LOT due to water weight I guess (like 7-10lbs a day) but I can always tell where I'm at and I haven't been able to get back down in the 170s for more than a week. I have been very sedentary because of mono and not being able to exercise (which I usually do daily and intensely) and I've just been bingeing all the time (and mostly purging - diagnosed bulimic). I'm spiraling out of control due to stress - finals, illness, everything else and now I just feel disgusting.
I think I've lost a ton of muscle and gained a lot of fat, so not only have I gained but it's probably more like 20lbs of fat and 10lbs of lost muscle. I can't even describe how disgusting I feel. I don't know what to do because even this feeling won't stop me from eating/bingeing. Please help!!
[Rant/Rave] My scale is not working and I'm having a meltdown [Rant/Rave]
/u/-novaterra- [174cm | 60Kg | i wanna be 58 again :( |]
Created: Tue Dec 12 20:02:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jg9po/my_scale_is_not_working_and_im_having_a_meltdown/
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So I've been having a bingey week after I've passed one of my goal weight mark (what a surprise a?)
I've stepped on the scale after a few days of avoiding it and it said 61kg? I knew there is no possible way I could weight that since my first gw was 62kg and I've been eating sooo much even tho I'm doing IF/keto so that's when the panic kicks in. I move it around the room floor and it keeps giving me random numbers from 60-68. And now I'm a crying mess since I don't know what I actually weight. Why the fuck would this be happening to me right now, It's 4am and I can't get a new scale at 4-bloody-am.
I don't want to be those numbers, those are big numbers I'm so fucking afraid to weight that again. I've been doing so good. There is no way this weeks binge put me back at the start. I don't know, it just pisses me off. I didn't expect to be skinnier then before the binge but those big big fucking numbers... I don't even know if I can trust a new scale. What if the scale says I'm even fatter then these numbers, do I even want to fucking know that?!
Well anyway I'm gonna fast my way to bines since that's the only way I can see any change I can't trust these scales anymore.
[Discussion] How did a diet turn to this?
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Tue Dec 12 19:25:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jg1y9/how_did_a_diet_turn_to_this/
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5 years ago I weighed almost 145lbs, I was used to being around 125-135 in college, clothes would get tight sometimes...no big deal to me. I would exercise for a day to feel better😂 I ate freely and often. Around 23 I began overeating, felt much bigger, then weighed in. My goal was 128.
I’ve always had extreme OCD and anxiety and have bipolar but this never affected my eating before.
How did becoming healthy turn into 4 years of hell?
I am petrified on weight gain. I want to be as small as possible. Honestly I do not understand why my brain 🧠 works like this. It’s beyond frustrating!
Going for an assessment tomorrow for my ED. I need some support from people who might understand.
/u/skydiver89 [skinny fat AF at 5'4" and 140 lbs]
Created: Tue Dec 12 19:22:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jg168/going_for_an_assessment_tomorrow_for_my_ed_i_need/
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I am so anxious. I don't know if I want to do this anymore. Today I weighed 139 lbs. It's been years since I've been in the 130's. I'm scared that I'll have to eat and I'll gain weight even if I eat healthy. I'm so stupid. I told my parents that I have an ED. They just don't know how bad it is. I know if I don't go I'll just disappoint them even more. I'm such a failure at life. Fuck EDs. Seriously. Why are they even a thing?
[Rant/Rave] Guys my mirror is warped!!!!!
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 | CW 141 | 23.74| F]
Created: Tue Dec 12 18:51:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jfugm/guys_my_mirror_is_warped/
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My mirror has been feeding into my dystrophia. I have a full length mirror on my closet and honestly I think looking at myself so often triggered my relapse. HOWEVER the other day my boyfriend and I were in front of my mirror and he made a comment about how weird it made him look (he is very slender) so I started swaying in front of it and HOLY SHIT. It is like a fucking funhouse mirror guys. It literally makes anyone who stands in front of it almost twice as large. It makes my legs look like tree trucks. I have literally always thought I looked big for my weight but this is insane. I feel like I have no idea what I actually look like. If anyone has bought a cheep mirror you should probably inspect it a little bit more.
Guys my mirror is warped!!!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 12 18:49:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jfu2f/guys_my_mirror_is_warped/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Why must hair extensions weigh so much???
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW:142 |CW:123 |20.6 |GW:110 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 12 18:30:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jfq5p/why_must_hair_extensions_weigh_so_much/
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So I looooove hair extensions. I’ve been wearing them forever. I just decided to get long 22 inch extensions and they’re so pretty. The only thing is my hair is super thick so I literally have 3 sets of clip ins in my hair. The hair is gorgeous but it actually reflects in my number on the scale and it pisses me off so bad to see that! Not to mention I’m on my period and I’m already bloated as fuck. I’m literally 125.7 right now because of the extensions and my bloating and I was almost at 122 like 5 days ago. Uuuughggg fucking shoot me
Fuel for my ED
/u/KitteeChaos
Created: Tue Dec 12 18:14:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jfmnc/fuel_for_my_ed/
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I'm on mobile so I'm not sure how to flare :/ I'm sorry if I'm breaking rules, I don't mean to.
This is the first post I've made here that isn't just a comment in response to someone else's post... I'd prefer it to be an introduction, but it's more of a vent because I'm having a rough night over something my long time (like over 10 years) boyfriend said tonight and I need to get it out and it can't wait.
Long story short, mutual co-worker is supposedly in love with my boyfriend. Me and her were friends initially, but when he started working at our store I guess she decided it would be ok to attempt to fuck my boyfriend. Fucking bitch. Anyway. He hasn't, and is telling me everything, so it's not that he is cheating.
It's just what he told me tonight while we were discussing her. Well supposedly she screwed another male co-worker the other day in an attempt to make my boyfriend jealous. It didn't work, she regretted it immediately. Now she's crushed (boo fucking hoo) So boyfriend then said he felt bad for her, that she could have been let down a lot easier, and he'd have told her, and I quote, "Look, I like you, but I can't. "
Uhmm, what?
How about "I'm not interested, I love my girlfriend"? Saying "I can't" and admitting that he likes her just..idk I feel like shit. It's as if he wants her but he feels obligated to me. Not "I won't", not "I don't want you". Just "I can't". He may as well tell her he wants to fuck the shit out of her but he's not allowed because I'm in the way. That's how I took it.
So she's 7 years younger than me, and thinner. This shit is fueling my ed big time, I never want to eat again right now, until I feel like I look better than her. Maybe even until I'm sick so that he'll have more concern for my feelings than hers. I feel disgusting.
Thanks to anyone who took the time to read that. It just helps to let it out.
Got my genes tested... anorexia gene?
/u/everlastingethereal [5'4.5" | LW: 96 | CW and HW: 115 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 12 17:36:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jfe56/got_my_genes_tested_anorexia_gene/
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https://i.redd.it/bkx610135l301.jpg
[Goal] Losing 50lbs after being refed
/u/glitterbugjjj
Created: Tue Dec 12 17:31:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jfcx9/losing_50lbs_after_being_refed/
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Being refed (continuous feed for 2 weeks via NG tube) totally fucked me. In some ways, yes, I was healthy and not thinking about food at all.. I gained about 20lb in there, then when I got out I just ate absolute crap and would cave into my weed munchies, so gained another 30ish lbs. I think the meds they put me on (zyprexa) really made me hungry and gain like crazy too, I've heard it did for quite a few other people as well.
That brought me up to my highest weight ever of 153lbs. LW: 90 167cm
I felt disgusting. Something just clicked and it was like I just turned back on. I already went off my meds and dieted healthily and it didnt work at all. I refuse to stay this weight.
I've lost 9lbs over the past week and a half, I'm sticking to less than 200cals a day. And honestly, I feel fucking great. I mean, I still have a long way to go to get to my goal of 103lb, but I finally feel back in control.
The other day someone said to me how healthy I looked and how good it is that I've put on some size, fucking devastated me. but I guess its just fuel to abstain when I get a craving or something hey.
Anyway I just wanted to share a little bit of my journey, hoping to maybe find some people I can connect with and we can reach our goals together :) DMs totally welcome!
The antithesis to practicality (ED poem)
/u/everlastingethereal [5'4.5" | LW: 96 | CW and HW: 115 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 12 17:14:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jf8oj/the_antithesis_to_practicality_ed_poem/
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https://everything2.com/title/The+antithesis+to+practicality?author_id=2115881#arylisa
[Discussion] Anyone in here in law school?
/u/coffeeanddietcokee [5'9'' | 137.3 | 20.? | GW5 135 | GW6 130]
Created: Tue Dec 12 17:10:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jf7gh/anyone_in_here_in_law_school/
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Just wondering. I am in my first year of law school. I imagined law school would make me restrict more, but I've actually gained. I guess because I spend all day with people who eat, so I eat too. but I've gotten that under control now. since its been finals, I've been restricting and its actually helped me concentrate more.
just looking for people to relate to :)
First day on EC stack (ish)
/u/2017HeyJude [ 1.59m | CW 48.7kg/107lb | GW 45kg/99lb | BMI 19.2]
Created: Tue Dec 12 16:57:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jf4hu/first_day_on_ec_stack_ish/
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So I caved in and got some Ephedrine to try it out. I’m super anxious about taking unknown and not given by my doctor medication so let’s say it shows how badly I’m spiraling.
But anyways, I decided to try and start slow. I got 8mg pills so I just took one at lunch and drank a caffeinated drink (~75mg caffeine), because I’m really not used to caffeine and prone to higher heart beatings when I drink coffee. So really below the recommanded starting doses, but I didn’t want to freak out.
IT WAS GREAT. Once my heart stopped being crazy (it was mostly because I was anxious, not really the result of the pill), I felt great. Full of energy, and not so damn cold anymore. I couldn’t stand still and spend the afternoon running errands and cleaning stuff at home. I did feel a bit shaky around 1 hour after I took it but calmed down in about 30mn, because I was focused on my work. I didn’t feel any hunger, and when dinner came I only snacked on carrots and cheese bites, when there was pizza and lots of stuff around.
So it was a good tryout for me. I will stay at this dose for a while (not even gonna take it every day I think) and see if the scale shows something. If not, it’s still a good upper for when I feel like a slob :)
Just thought I’d give you my experience, will keep you updated if you want.
Confession
/u/dino_bones72 [5’3” | 130lbs | 22 | 13lbs | Female ]
Created: Tue Dec 12 16:34:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jez7j/confession/
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So I’m getting married 4 months today, but have been having lots of problems with my fiancé. A lot of them are related to issues with my parents (over bearing, snobby, just generally shitting all over every decision about the wedding). To compound the issue, my fiancé’s mum died very suddenly in May of this year.
So I’ve been having massive anger fits - just sheer screaming at the top of my lungs rage. I know it’s depression. It doesn’t usually manifest that way with me, but I’ve been just marginally functional north of suicidal for a few months now.
My fiancé lost it and told me to get a therapist. I cracked and confessed to how low I was feeling and how difficult life is. I didn’t mention the crazy restriction I’m doing just now.
She basically scoffed at how low I’m feeling, about how it doesn’t look that way to her and I seem to be doing fine - I’m just too angry.
I don’t know what to say. I feel so betrayed. If I lose her I literally have nothing left for me in life, but she just dismisses how depressed I am. I’m sitting on the fucking edge at the moment and it’s just being swept under the rug.
Maybe 10 more lbs and she will take me seriously.
[Rant/Rave] shopping with mom
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 12 16:14:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jeuju/shopping_with_mom/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Was told I was beautiful by 6 different people last night
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Tue Dec 12 15:55:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jepxf/was_told_i_was_beautiful_by_6_different_people/
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I was never told this 10kg ago.
Therefore ED = good *mic drop*
[Rant/Rave] Goodbye everyone
/u/iamLuc [5'5 | too fat | -27 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 12 14:50:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7je9vz/goodbye_everyone/
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I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough
[Rant/Rave] Not eating out of stress for a test then binging when it passes
/u/ABlueSongbird
Created: Tue Dec 12 14:38:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7je6qu/not_eating_out_of_stress_for_a_test_then_binging/
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I hardly ate at all of the weekend and last week for I was extremely never for the science and math test i today. Then after school I went to the pizza place and ate half a pie. I feel sick especially as the nerves of what grade I’ll get set in. I hope it makes me throw up.
[Rant/Rave] I wish I could enjoy being hungry
/u/FeedMeDreams [5'5" | 66.7kg | 24.5 | F | bulimic]
Created: Tue Dec 12 14:30:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7je523/i_wish_i_could_enjoy_being_hungry/
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I wish I could be one of those people. I wish that being hungry made me feel light and powerful and all those good things. I wish fasting made me high. But I'm not like that. Hunger just makes me feel dissatisfied and bored and lonely and shaky. I don't think I'll ever lose weight because I just can't handle the smallest amount of hunger or boredom. I want to binge as soon as I notice I'm hungry, or as soon as I run out of things to do. Has anyone successfully lost weight despite being really bad with hunger, or am I doomed?
[Discussion] How to order off 'diet' menu without tipping off friends?
/u/imperfectcontrol [5'6" | CW: 115 | 18.56 | CGW: 100 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 12 14:19:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7je25a/how_to_order_off_diet_menu_without_tipping_off/
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I'm going to dinner this Friday at a restaurant with a 'skinnylicious' menu. So you have to say "I'd like the skinnylicious xxx". Is there any way to avoid this? One of the friends I'm going with is a self confessed borderline anorexic who thinks I'm headed down this path because I was drinking green tea for metabolism (I mean she's right but...). So I don't want her getting all suspicious! I don't want the waiter to repeat my order back at me either.
Any tips?
[Help] concerned about bruises and dark circles
/u/lemonpuddin0
Created: Tue Dec 12 14:06:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jdyvd/concerned_about_bruises_and_dark_circles/
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Today I was trying on clothes when I realized that my legs were spotted with faint bruises. I look like an over-ripe banana. Ive always bruised easily, but seeing my speckled legs in the full-length mirror prompted a 20-minute freakout webmd session in the forever21 dressing room. A few weeks ago I bumped the crook of my arm at work and the bruise swole up instantly and left a bean-sized lump of clotted blood under my skin for two weeks afterwards. I almost went to the doctor before the lump went away but Im trying not to be such a hypochondriac.
I also keep trying to wipe the old makeup smears from underneath my eyes, before realizing that its just how my dark under-eye circles look now.
Can malnutrition cause this kind of bruising? Ive not been counting calories, and I feel like I dont even deprive myself too extremely, but Ive lost about 15 pounds in the past few months and Ive been fasting more often lately. I also just dont take very good care of myself in general, and Ive got a night job now so I get about 3-4 hours of sleep most days.
somebody please tell me I dont have some sort of terminal blood disorder, because thats what my anxiety is telling me right now. Has this happened to you?
[Goal] IM 0.2 LBS AWAY FROM BEING AT A HEALTHY BMI AGAIN
/u/oxygens_overrated [5'4|HW:150|CW:147|LW:113|GW:125 |F| ]
Created: Tue Dec 12 13:38:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jdrkp/im_02_lbs_away_from_being_at_a_healthy_bmi_again/
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I weighed myself this morning and I almost cried when the scale read 143, and I need to be at 142.8 to have a healthy BMI. I weighed myself like 3 other times in different places too just to be sure 😂 I’m so happy! This was just the motivation I needed! I need to update my flair now :)
[Help] Feeling like food is stuck in my throat after puking?
/u/TransBoi420
Created: Tue Dec 12 13:38:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jdrgg/feeling_like_food_is_stuck_in_my_throat_after/
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I just threw up a bunch of rice and it was horrible. I feel like theres a chunk of rice stuck in the back of my throat and coughing or drinking water isn't helping ): I feel the acidic lump every time I swallow it's so gross I feel like I need to puke again or something. Dae experience this and have tips?
Edit: can't flair on mobile!
[Discussion] Wellbutrin experiences please
/u/Clev3rgirl84
Created: Tue Dec 12 12:11:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jd47e/wellbutrin_experiences_please/
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I have some that I was given for quitting smoking but I stopped taking them
Do they help control appetite,
[Rant/Rave] my self worth is tied to my weight so today i’m feeling
/u/ScrunchiesandDraino [5’8” |cw:250 |-25lbs |20F]
Created: Tue Dec 12 11:31:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jctjx/my_self_worth_is_tied_to_my_weight_so_today_im/
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FUCKING AMAZING I HAD A WOOSH!!!
i was stuck at 250~ for a while and i was 247 today! i’m getting so close to my old “highest weight” (224) from high school and i feel like once i pass that i’ll start actually feeling a little bit better about my looks. maybe.... probably not but idk i’ll start getting compliments on my weight loss when i get down there and i won’t have to keep telling myself that the scale isn’t lying and i’m actually losing weight
These people are eatinng out of toilets
/u/funny_kidss
Created: Tue Dec 12 11:21:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jcr25/these_people_are_eatinng_out_of_toilets/
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https://youtu.be/WTMERFZ1ArI
[Discussion] Does anyone else feel like their ED comes from or quells their anxiety?
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 140.2 | BMI 27.3 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26 F]
Created: Tue Dec 12 11:20:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jcqq5/does_anyone_else_feel_like_their_ed_comes_from_or/
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I have been extremely anxious since I was a little kid. I was really codependent with my mom when I was younger and have a huge fear of abandonment that has carried into my adult relationships. This is comorbid with my bipolar disorder, but the BP is being treated so I'm not having as many mood swings. Now I'm just super fucking anxious all the time. About anything and everything, mostly my relationship or money or thinking my teeth are going to fall out and all of this irrational shit. I'm relying on klonopin right now to not feel like I'm having a heart attack 24/7.
The only thing that is helping me right now is focusing on not eating. The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing that I will lose weight eating the way that I do. I started with 1200, which was definitely working, and now on a restricting day (90% of the time I restrict with a few binge days - maybe once or twice a month) I eat less than 1000. Usually around 8 or 900. It is the only thing that distracts me and the only thing that I feel like I'm good at and can focus on. Not having to eat makes me feel better and at least I can focus my anxiety on SOMETHING that I can control.
Does anyone else feel like this? Like it's the only thing that makes you feel 'better'? On my downtime at work I browse this reddit and watch all of the eating disorder episodes of Intervention and Starving Secrets and for some reason it just helps me to calm down. I feel like my issues with eating are both caused by anxiety and some sort of self medication for it. Am I alone here?
[Help] Have y’all ever passed out from restricting?
/u/booger-burger69 [5'3 | CW: 117lbs | UGW 100lbs | -18lbs | 21F]
Created: Tue Dec 12 11:11:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jcodm/have_yall_ever_passed_out_from_restricting/
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I have maybe eaten around 2,000 this past week and I’m EC stacking, so I feel light headed and dizzy pretty much the entire time I’m at work. I’m worried I’m gonna pass out and hit my head on one of the sharp counters but I’ve never fainted before so idk how to anticipate it. What does it feel like right before you pass out and what should I do to not faint without causing suspicion from my coworkers? I’m like hardcore restricting right now so eating isn’t an option, restricting is the only thing keeping me sane rn because everything else in my life is spiraling out of control.
[Help] Wtf is this shit on my bagel? Had my meals all planned out then cried over this and threw it away. Don’t think it’s old, they’re not expired, has this happened to anyone else?
/u/autotrapqueen [5'7.5| CW 131.8 | 20.19 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 12 11:09:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jcny3/wtf_is_this_shit_on_my_bagel_had_my_meals_all/
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https://i.redd.it/faidm9748j301.jpg
[Discussion] Body Dysmorphia while shopping. Kind of a DAE...
/u/alwayssoclose
Created: Tue Dec 12 11:05:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jcmln/body_dysmorphia_while_shopping_kind_of_a_dae/
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The largest pants size I’ve ever worn is a 2. I’m currently a 0 (24, I guess). Basically, I know what my pant size looks like on a rack. It hasn’t changed much over the years.
But today while shopping I kept picking up size 10s thinking they looked about right. Then would glance at the tag and do a double take, making sure I didn’t imagine the 1 in front of the 0. When I really looked at them I knew they were way too big, but still didn’t trust my own brain.
That’s wacky, y’all. Tell me it’s not just me.
[Rant/Rave] When you try to start smoking while on what’s technically smoking cessation drugs
/u/flyingmonkeyssaymoo
Created: Tue Dec 12 10:36:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jcdfe/when_you_try_to_start_smoking_while_on_whats/
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In other news I can’t stop binging and then I got put off Wellbutrin because I started purging more and I’m so fat and I want to die. I’ve never been this fat before and I hate myself and eating food is such a waste of money. I need to lose like half my body weight to be “normal”. HOW DID IT GET THIS BAD.
[Other] Secret Santa!
/u/Canyoubelievethat1
Created: Tue Dec 12 10:35:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jcd2l/secret_santa/
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Heyo every one I can't find the thread I was on so I'll make a new one. Someone commented how cool it would be to have like a birchbox but for ed so like fuzzy sox cause you're cold or teddy bears you heat up to snuggle and low cal snacks and treats! But of course it doesn't exist, but we could do a swap between ourselves and make our own boxes!
I was thinking maybe designated one person to get all address and names then assign them out to every one. But comment if you'd be interested and any ideas on how to go about this!
[Rant/Rave] If you see no results with Primatene, I say give Bronkaid a try.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW: 142.2 | UGW 105 | 25/F]
Created: Tue Dec 12 09:52:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jbzzs/if_you_see_no_results_with_primatene_i_say_give/
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Holy shit.
I have used Primatene for my EC stack. I chose Prim because it came with more pills, I liked the box better, and I like calling it Prim. Stupid reasons, but whatevs.
I kinda noticed it worked, but I'm thinking it was only because I knew what it was supposed to do and convinced myself it was working. Someone recently did a great writeup here on the EC stack and I asked if people had a preference of Bronkaid over Primatene. Most people chose Bronkaid and other discussion boards had the same consensus.
I got Bronkaid and noticed the effect right away. I don't struggle with physical hunger so much as mental hunger. Cravings always suck especially the week before my period aka the last week.
With Bronkaid, even my morning coffee didn't sound good. No food sounded good at all. The week before my period is usually a sugar-craving extravaganza. So far nothing has sounded or tasted good. It's been wonderful.
[Rant/Rave] I weigh a lot more than i thought.
/u/LavenderBbyRose
Created: Tue Dec 12 09:52:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jbzz9/i_weigh_a_lot_more_than_i_thought/
---
Kinda freaking out. Last time I weighed I was at 210, and I figured I gained a little after that but then I started restricting and was doing well on keeping my cal intake low so I figured I had lost back down to 210. Unfortunately I don't have a scale so the only time I get weighed is at the doctor. I weigh almost 230. At first, no lie, I wanted to puke. Now all I can think is "I'm not eating for a week". I never could have imagined I would gain 20lbs! And I probably weighed more before I started restricting again! Oh lord. Defiantly cancelling dinner plans tonight.
[Rant/Rave] so frustrated.
/u/underandoverwhelmed
Created: Tue Dec 12 07:55:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jb7m4/so_frustrated/
---
my uphill battle with skincare had seemingly paid off this year when my skin magically cleared up for the first time in my life. I ended up taking it for granted, thinking it must be me hitting thirty and finally calming down after terrible withdrawals from medications. well, as fate would have it, I had an accident with my long-term boyfriend, and I ended up deciding to take a plan B pill. now my skin is all fucked up again, and I'm losing my mind. it felt like I could definitely contain my overwhelming feelings about my body / food / clothes / etc., but now with my skin back to being shitty, I feel myself going into overdrive with restricting and exercising.
I hate being a fat thirty-year-old with fucking acne.
[Help] What does a diagnosis mean for my life?
/u/miracleunicat [5'6 | CW: 109 | GW: 85]
Created: Tue Dec 12 07:52:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jb6v6/what_does_a_diagnosis_mean_for_my_life/
---
So, someone at the emily program diagnosed me with anorexia- purging type. I can't get treatment there because they don't have an appropriate program. I have to do another intake assessment at Center for Discovery. Have ay of you guys gone there? On the phone they said that they wanted me to go inpatient. During inpatient what's the deal with school and schoolwork? I want to stay at the same school, but it's highly competitive and I'm not sure if I could do it without a lot of time to study. Finally, what does that diagnosis mean for like- jobs and stuff?
Edit: Can someone flair? I'm on mobile and don't know how.
[Other] i somehow lost almost 20 lbs in two weeks!!!!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 12 07:34:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jb2wh/i_somehow_lost_almost_20_lbs_in_two_weeks/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] realised I starve myself not because I genuinely feel I need to lose weight, but because it's a form of self harm that gives me a sense of accomplishment and praise from others that I would otherwise never get because I have literally never succeeded at anything in my life
/u/defenestrationdisco [5'8 | CW 57 kg | GW 50 kg | 19F]
Created: Tue Dec 12 07:26:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jb1aw/realised_i_starve_myself_not_because_i_genuinely/
---
haha I wish I was dead
[Other] My ribs stick out too far. Depressing realization in comments.
/u/fimuckmylife
Created: Tue Dec 12 06:37:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jarbw/my_ribs_stick_out_too_far_depressing_realization/
---
https://i.redd.it/zv2912omvh301.jpg
[Other] My head is a mess and I need to let it all out
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 12 06:23:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jaooq/my_head_is_a_mess_and_i_need_to_let_it_all_out/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] The thigh gap is finally sticking, I felt sort of alright about this photo. But honestly it still feels shit looking in the mirror...I’m only 1kg of my first goal weight and I know it won’t be enough.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 12 06:14:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jamx9/the_thigh_gap_is_finally_sticking_i_felt_sort_of/
---
https://i.redd.it/0uhcjcmcrh301.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I know this is totally ridiculous but i'm canceling travel plans to stay on track...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 12 05:41:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jah00/i_know_this_is_totally_ridiculous_but_im/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I haven't stopped binging since thanksgiving
/u/bellexy [5'8 | tubbalub | -20 | GW 118]
Created: Tue Dec 12 05:12:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jac9x/i_havent_stopped_binging_since_thanksgiving/
---
please just fucking kill me
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday December 12, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Dec 12 05:10:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jaby9/thinspo_tuesday_december_12_2017/
---
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! December 12, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Dec 12 05:10:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7jabxi/daily_food_diary_december_12_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 12, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Help] I have a math exam today and all I can think about is that I'm going to end my life if I don't pass it
/u/mintslut [4'11 | CW: 109.6 | UGW: 84 | -14lbs | F]
Created: Tue Dec 12 04:44:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ja7po/i_have_a_math_exam_today_and_all_i_can_think/
---
I can't stop entertaining this thought
That I'll walk in front of a truck if I don't pass
Or that I'll slit my wrists
Not wanting to Google how to make a hangman's knot
But wanting to know all the same
Funny thing is, I didn't even study.
Self-fulfilling prophecy? Or just irony?
I have no one to talk to about this. I wish I could tell my boyfriend but I'm afraid that all I'll be able to say is "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you" and then he'll *know*. I don't want him to know. He's got a cold. He needs someone to take care of him, not the other way around.
**Edit:** It's about 8pm, and four hours after my exam. Not going to lie, it was brutal. I'm honestly not sure if I'll even pass. But the numbness that I felt this morning when I wrote this post has faded a bit. I'm exhausted and feeling more than a bit lonely but I want to thank every single person who commented and upvoted this post. In my lowest moment, you guys were there for me and that means more than I ever thought it could.
I'm going to try and address everyone's comments and replies as best I can, but know that I have read and cherished every single response, every comment of solidarity, and every single reply that spoke of your own struggles. This is truly one of the best things about this community.
[Help] Newbie with a question
/u/Musicmoves88
Created: Tue Dec 12 03:39:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j9y6m/newbie_with_a_question/
---
I have been in recovery mode for a while. I have a nerve injury in my foot due to overexercising. Have to get a cortisone shot for the first time.
Has anyone experienced this? I'm terrified it will make me gain water weight.
[Other] I was meant to take part in a clinical study for BN.
/u/fxckyouaurora [166cm|52kg|F24]
Created: Tue Dec 12 03:25:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j9wcq/i_was_meant_to_take_part_in_a_clinical_study_for/
---
but I’m a coward and a piece of shit so I backed out. I feel useless. only my mum and my boyfriend knew I was meant to be doing it but I feel like SUCH a letdown.
idk what to do.
so basically I need to never eat again? if I’m not eating then I’m not bingeing and if I don’t eat then there’s nothing to purge.
just so helpless and useless. I hope I’m not a total disappointment I’m just really really not ready. 💔
(sorry about the pointless post but I’m tired and sad and needed to vent I guess)
[Rant/Rave] My mum said i look like an elf
/u/325896471
Created: Tue Dec 12 03:16:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j9v5i/my_mum_said_i_look_like_an_elf/
---
On one hand I'm like huh wait how pointy could my ears possibly be. And then she commented how it's because I'm small^(^to ^*her*) and move around like one (i guess at this point i *was* crouching, almost enveloped, whilst adjusting our christmas tree lol
[Goal] Very small victory BUT!
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 60.9 kg | BMI: 22.6 | -22.6 kg | 21F]
Created: Tue Dec 12 01:46:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j9fob/very_small_victory_but/
---
I finally reached my goal of dropping below 60kg! I am now 58.8kg. I'm a plateau hopper so I guess this euphoria will only last for so long but hey I FINALLY am in the 50s! The last time I weighted that much was with 15.
And bonus material : a ring that was too small to fit on my ring finger is now slightly lose on my middle finger. Boney hands here I come!
Hope you all had a decent day? My next goal is to drink a sugary drink from starbucks today without freaking out. Think I'll be able to?
[Discussion] DAE watch what I eat in a day videos and add the cals up??
/u/acupofhotwater [5'2" | CW fat GW127 | UGW120 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 12 00:34:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j95ar/dae_watch_what_i_eat_in_a_day_videos_and_add_the/
---
Pretty much the title. I recently started watching what I eat in a day videos of models to get ideas for healthy/low cal meals and a lot of the time it doesn’t add up to what someone as active as they are should be eating. I feel some kind of way about that...like why eat healthy when restricting apparently works well enough to base a freakin career on it. Please tell me I’m not the only one watching these videos with my phones calculator at the ready like a lunatic. 🙃
(I dunno what to flair this as, sorry!)
[Discussion] Is anyone else worried about losing control?
/u/ImMissBrightside
Created: Tue Dec 12 00:09:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j91df/is_anyone_else_worried_about_losing_control/
---
Sorry, this may be a controversial topic here...
When all this started, I kept thinking that I know what I'm getting into. I'm educated on all these terms and illnesses, I'll never go into denial or spiral too deep. I can stop before the damage stacks up top high.
But recently, i was put in a situation where I had no choice to stop. I felt horrible night and day, like everyday was an absolutely terrible thing I had just done. Then I realized that I've sort of grown dependent on this. I don't know if I can stop...because if I do, won't I start gaining weight nonstop, undo everything I've done?
Does anyone else know what I'm feeling? Does anyone have any advice?
Just bought a bullet journal! Let me see yours 😍
/u/Sweetparamour2
Created: Tue Dec 12 00:05:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j90tn/just_bought_a_bullet_journal_let_me_see_yours/
---
I just purchased a bullet journal and would love to see how you utilise yours!
[Goal] GOAL: 110-115lbs by February 5th.
/u/cloudsofdawn [169cm - 5'6.5' | CW: 119.9lbs | 19.1 BMI | -23lbs | F]
Created: Mon Dec 11 23:52:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j8yp9/goal_110115lbs_by_february_5th/
---
Right now I’m around 123lbs, more or less. Sugar has not been kind to me lately.
By February, a few days before my 19th birthday I want to be somewhere in the 110-115lb range.
I just wanted to post my goal here to keep myself accountable and see if anyone else has similar goals! Wish me luck and if you’re on a similar path please comment your goals as well :)
Any helpful rituals?
/u/runjumpflip [5'3 | CW 110 | 19.5 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 11 23:08:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j8rm0/any_helpful_rituals/
---
Looking for little rituals, like a cigarette and water and coffee in the morning, or 10 jumping jacks whenever you go through a door, or only eating off a black plate, etc. Not necessarily "ana tips", but just weird little rexie rituals. Thanks!
Any ED TV or Movies?
/u/runjumpflip [5'3 | CW 110 | 19.5 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 11 22:57:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j8pqr/any_ed_tv_or_movies/
---
Does anyone know any movies or TV shows on (Canadian) Netflix that deal with eating disorders, especially if the ED sufferer is a male (girls are fine too)?
I've already watched To the Bone (and loved it! so fucking accurate), and I'm aware of Skins.
If anyone has any suggestions let me know!
P.S. I'm also interested in shows that have an ED-ish character, for example, a character that doesn't necessarily have an ED but smokes too much, frequently forgets to eat, doesn't have money to eat, etc.
[Rant/Rave] Dumb and also stupid body
/u/tenshimei [180cm | CW 176 | GW 140 | UGW 120 | 18F]
Created: Mon Dec 11 22:51:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j8otq/dumb_and_also_stupid_body/
---
So,,, I am recovering from a bad knee dislocation and subsequent surgery a couple months ago after pushing myself too hard working out and now that I'm able to exercise again I got back into it hard, doing like 60 minutes of aerobics/dance and running daily and guess which bitch most likely has an early stage tibial stress fracture??? This bitch.
I feel foul and I don't even want to go get it x-rayed because I know what a fracture feels like and I'm totally in denial. I don't want to give up exercise again, it helps my body image and raises my calorie deficit and is entirely awesome for my BP1, I hate that I have to take it easy lest I actually do some serious damage, at this point I can still walk and likely skate but high impact exercise has to be thrown away and I'm so mad about it.
I'm so frustrated that JUST as I start losing and making progress I get this, even though I know it's from pushing my body too hard too fast.
How do you guys keep actually sane when you're unable to exercise?
FRUSTRATION
/u/under_119
Created: Mon Dec 11 22:50:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j8olg/frustration/
---
Agh!
The past six weeks or so, I've eaten pretty irregularly. Some weeks would have an average of 1300 cal/day and others would be 2000 cal/day. But when I took the OVERALL average, it came out to be ~1700 cal/day. Which is my TDEE.
BUT I GAINED SIX POUNDS?! LIKE WHAT?!
I'm so upset. Does physics not apply to my body?
I tracked pretty accurately. I don't know why this is happening. Someone please give me an explanation :(
The only theory I can think of right now is that the past week has been my highest intake week (about ~2000 per day) so some of the weight may be water weight. Or something! IDK. I'm just trying to deny that I've really gained weight, I guess.
But six pounds?!
I'm 5'6 and I'm currently (sob) 129 pounds. I was 123 before.
Someone please save me from my pitfall of despair.
Posted a positive IG post for once about my body and it’s getting approx HALF as many like WOW GR8 COOL
/u/ravras
Created: Mon Dec 11 22:50:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j8oi7/posted_a_positive_ig_post_for_once_about_my_body/
---
[Rant/Rave] I just binged I'm so done with life and highschool :(
/u/interstellartortise
Created: Mon Dec 11 22:42:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j8mzl/i_just_binged_im_so_done_with_life_and_highschool/
---
Honestly, I love my life, everything about it is perfect and great, I honestly am so thankful and have nothing to complain about, except one thing, and that's my secret binging problem.
I had childhood anorexia from gr 6-7 and was hospitalized all fall of grade seven (lowest was 95 lbs 5'6), luckily I made a successful recovery towards the end of grade 8 and had a healthy relationship with food and my body....
Then, the stress and horrors of high school hit... At the beginning of grade 9 everything was OK, I was part of a track and field club, managing my schooling and eating normal and having fun, I didn't have a care in the world :). Then second sem, it all goes downhill. I have all my AP classes, so I quit running to focus on school because I value my grades and put a lot of pressure on myself to achieve good marks, but, along with AP classes comes stress, and I started binging around this time because I was constantly stressed/anxious about tests and was flooded with homework.
I'd stay up really late or pull all-nighters panicking about a test/finishing a report and come to school late every day or sleep in and miss period 1 because I was running on 3 hours of sleep and just couldn't bring myself to get up. When I did wake up early, I'd come to school with huge bags, greasy hair and bloated af. I was constantly in a bad mood, and I would go to the washrooms and cry about how stressful school was.
This is where the binging comes in... When I'd get home, I would go straight to our snack cupboard, initially, I'd just plan to "treat" myself by having a cookie or a handful of cereal or something, but then once I took one portion I couldn't stop.
I recall an occasion when my mom bought granola cereal and I hate 3/4 of the box, or when she bought nature valley granola bars from costco and I ate the whole box in 2 hours... I would constantly be eating peanut butter out of the jar, bread, jam, pizza, tubs of ice cream, you name it. I was unable to stop, I loved chewing on things, it relieved me of my stress. Half the time the food was going into my mouth, I wasn't even tasting it, I just wanted more comfort food to make all my worries go away.
I ballooned from 128 lbs at 5'7 at the beginning of grade 9 to 154 lbs at the end of grade 9...
Over the summer, I lost 15 pounds because I had no stress, wasn't binging and was active everyday... At the beginning of this school year (grade 10) I was 139-140 lbs and really toned (I have a naturally fit physique because of my past in running, competitive swimming for many years) but now as exam season is slowly approaching and sooooo many tests and assignments due, I've ballooned back up to 150-152.....
This past week I was doing soooo well, I ate litte carbs and had 1200-1500 cals a day... I lost a pound, but tonight I had a mental breakdown over school (because I have two tests tomorrow) and instead of studying for them, I binge ate 6 chocolate covered quaker granola bars, 1\2 pack of chocolate chip cookies and a cup of almond milk.... I want to die, I feel so so guilty... I ate all of this at around 11 pm ish. Now I will get acne and be bloated, but it was so worth it in the moment, I felt so safe... Fuck, now I just wasted 30 minutes typing this, welp, time to pull an all nighter studying! I hate highschool! Love y'all <3
[Rant/Rave] 96 hours and ready to binge
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Mon Dec 11 22:19:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j8itf/96_hours_and_ready_to_binge/
---
Earlier I posted about my longest binge and how happy I was, not to mention I am two pounds down.
Well now I’m just feeling sad and something happened to bring me down and I’m just unhappy and all I want to do is eat so much. Like get some ben and Jerry’s and order a pizza. All that sounds good is smoking and stuffing my face.
Will a binge ruin all my progress?
Also I’m worried I’ll want to purge after and I am soooooo afraid of becoming a purger.
[Rant/Rave] [Rave/Rant] I didn't fuck it all up!
/u/HellAbove [5'6.5"|147.2 lbs|23.4|21F]
Created: Mon Dec 11 21:58:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j8eu4/raverant_i_didnt_fuck_it_all_up/
---
So ever since the beginning of the semester, I have been actively losing weight. I went from 163.0 lbs to 147.2 lbs. Feels good m8s. Also ever since the beginning of the semester, I have been talking to this amAZING GUY. Like oh my god, I have met some pretty interesting and pretty genuine people but he takes the cake. We have been talking and hanging out and then finally around Halloween time we got together! We've been together ever since and it's awesome!! He makes me so happy :) But ya know what boyfriends do, they make you fat yo. So around Halloween time, I stopped I/F and weighing myself daily. This morning I finally stepped on the scale and I only weighed 150.2 lbs!!! I've been eating pretty normally and I'm so happy I only gained like 3 pounds. I started I/F this week and I'm hoping to get back to 147.2 lbs by the end of this week. Then hopefully lose some more weight! My boyfriend is leaving to go see his folks on the 23rd and he'll be gone for 2-3 weeks so this is my time to shine.
I know this is ridiculous but I'm just so happy my weight didn't jump up all the way back or something. I feel like I'm just as big when I was 160+ lbs so I don't feel as bad.
More as this story develops!
[Other] Attraction/Desire for Others Based on Perception of My Own Body
/u/kvikerdragen [5'6.5" | 22F | CW Disappointing | GW 111 | HW 182]
Created: Mon Dec 11 21:44:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j8c20/attractiondesire_for_others_based_on_perception/
---
Apologies in advance if this comes out slightly jumbled. I'm 1400 miles into a 1600 mile move across the country and I'm exhausted and sick. I've been thinking about a lot of different things over the last two days, and this was what I spent a good portion of today thinking about.
So I've always been into girls. Like that's indisputable, and continues to be the case. There are points of time where I consider whether or not I'm interested in men, and I always come to the same conclusion--that is, it depends on what I'm looking for in a significant other. As far as labeling myself (Which I tend to avoid because I just don't find it that important to be honest) I'd probably be a panromantic lesbian in that regard. I'll fall in love with anyone's personality, but only really am sexually attracted to women.
So today I spent a lot of time thinking about what I'd want in a partner right now (Because my ex, who I've been talking to / trying to rekindle for the past several years, finally told me enough is enough and to never come back). My thoughts wandered around, considering just whatever, and I realized that the issue with dating a girl right now is that I would constantly compare myself to them, and constantly lose (Such is the plight of being an emotionally unstable trans girl.. Every cis girl is automatically prettier than me in my eyes, and every other trans girl is better adjusted than me in my own eyes so I'm just sort of an all around failure in my head). This is particularly an issue in the sense that I'm especially insecure about my body right now, and my disordered eating behavior is at a lifetime high.
Then, reasonably, my mind was like "Well you know there are other options.." And because I had nothing better to do I thought about it. I came to the conclusion that I am currently very interested in the idea of dating a boy, for a handful of reasons.
First and foremost (And none of the things I mention are of course set in stone. I'm not inflexible or anything, but some of these are just like typical patterns in my history or perhaps ideals or whatever that exist in my head as a general understanding of involvement with others), there's the aforementioned comparing myself to girls. That inherently does not happen for me with boys. And at the moment, that might be one of the most significant factors--the ability to be involved and close to someone without constantly feeling inadequate and inferior just based on my own body. Likewise, the general trend seems to be that boys are simply less familiar with girls' bodies, so insecurities on my end that another girl could potentially reciprocate may not even be something that a boy notices.
Beyond that, my own role in the relationship tends to be defined by the gender of the person I date. I find that I am more in a dominant position in the relationship when I am with a girl, and am significantly more submissive with a boy. That's a plus at the moment, since I tend to be more stable and better able to function when someone is leading me.
But, also, In my head at least (And this is probably the least apparent in the real world and more idealistic), since I'm on the slightly tall side of average height the majority of the girls I find myself interested in are shorter (And historically smaller than me, since I was significantly porkier for much of my life) and the majority of boys are taller/bigger than me. This has an effect on my perception of my role in the relationship as it plays into the control, which I discussed above. The other benefits of that are that in my, again very ideal world, I'd be small enough that this random magical boy would like be able to carry me around as though I was light as a feather or that I would be able to sit on their lap or just like snuggle against them and generally feel small (Other people here have expressed similar desires, so I think this is perhaps understood enough as a want that it's understandable despite my horrible explanation).
On top of all that, in going back to my sexuality, I have no sex drive any more any way so that's hardly a concern that I spend time thinking about lol.
Anyway, in short, I love girls but compare myself to them and am not stable at all, and my desires to be taken care of and feel small and pretty are strongly influencing my interest in dating a boy.
This was one a hell of a text dump. I hope it was legible at least.
[Rant/Rave] I feel like I'm running out of ways to lose
/u/iloveitosusumu [5'9 | CW160 | GW120 | BMI23.20 | 20F]
Created: Mon Dec 11 21:15:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j869z/i_feel_like_im_running_out_of_ways_to_lose/
---
Alternately: I feel like I'm running out of ways to cope
I started out with restriction, and that worked until I got used to it and started making excuses. Then I moved on to low-carb and the same thing happened. Then fasting, then high-intensity cardio. It all stops working for me because I slack off and I can never resist eating.
I love food, it's the only thing I actively crave and want out of life. I can't stop talking and thinking about how it's ruined my life but it's the only thing I really seem to have?? This is the worst addiction.
[Rant/Rave] A recap of this week's weight-related bullsh*t
/u/sp_ceghost [5'7F | 129.6 | UGW 105 | -35lbs]
Created: Mon Dec 11 20:49:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j810u/a_recap_of_this_weeks_weightrelated_bullsht/
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What *is* it with everyone in my life commenting on my weight and body?
It begins with my mom sending me photos that I'm using for a project at school. I did not realize how *fucking skinny and toned* I used to be. I had an ED, but I was healthy about it. I ate good foods and over-exercised, so I looked fucking fantastic. During this time, my mom used to taunt me. She told me stuff like "you'll lose weight if you don't turn the heater on. The cold makes you lose weight." And whatnot. She says that I'm still skinny, but every time I go home, she says that I've gotten thick. Mostly, those photos were freaking triggering, because I'm about 25lbs heavier now and I'm dating someone who loves me, but I'm worried I'm not his type. *shit*.
Earlier this week, my boyfriend commented on my ass. He admitted when we first started dating 10lbs ago, it was great, but it's toned *now*. I felt embarrassed. I dated him while I was that thick? I showed him photos of when I was thinner and fitter, and he said he didn't like them because my face looked wrong. He likes my face "fuller". So I'm fuller....okay. I feel like he doesn't comment on my body now that he knows I am struggling again and he's worried about me, but he used to say stuff like "you look fine now, but if you wanted to lose weight I'd support you too." He also thinks my goal weight is too little. Which is it? I know he means well and he has nothing but love in his heart. But I'm so messed up and I'm tired of causing him stress with this.
I let myself binge this weekend because I haven't been eating much (Adderall) and I've been stressed because of finals. I fucked up.
Today, icing on the cake. I went to see my psychiatrist. I lied and told him that Adderall didn't change my appetite. He said, "looks about right. You look like you're holding your weight. What are you, 130-140lbs?" Holy. Shit. I'm changing psychiatrists but the damage is done. He always talks about my weight. Last time it was "you weigh *that* much?"
Now it's all swirling. Everything that everyone has ever said about me is coming to light. "You're ugly as fuck" "you're hot but you'd be way hotter if you were less edgy and softer" "you're just fucking intense" "you look unfriendly" "you're intimidating" "you're slim thick" etc etc. it's not I'm not attractive, people find me pretty "hot" apparently, but I don't really give compliments too much weight. I need to change my whole self but I know I won't be happy. I've never wanted to be anyone else...until now. And I'll only shed that skin and come back to what I am - not good enough. I want to be the skinny, preppy, energetic, outgoing, hot, feminine, dainty and hyper girl that everyone loves. But I'm not. I'm stupid, awkward, intense, somewhat-butch-looking me. I'm sick of myself.
I'm worried about my boyfriend. He loves me, but he comes from an affluent, good looking family and he's used to girls who aren't me. He lives in an area full of those girls I described. I'm worried he'll look at them. I'm worried that's what he'll leave me for.
I just feel shitty. I'm not some dainty, feminine chick who looks great and girly in whatever she wears. I wear thick sweaters. I have a butt - a great butt, but a butt that sticks out, stopping me from looking feminine. I dress like I don't have much to do because I don't. Leggings and sweaters. I'm a bit edgier than most. I'm not soft. I want to be soft. Why can't I be soft? And sweet and dainty and the girl of everyone's dreams? Why can't I be small? What am I supposed to look like to get people to leave me the hell alone about it?
Sorry for posting all the time. I'm just exhausted.
[Help] In need of some advice/suggestions to avoid overeating at a party.
/u/accordingtoging
Created: Mon Dec 11 20:30:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j7w7s/in_need_of_some_advicesuggestions_to_avoid/
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I'm attending a Christmas party held by my boyfriend's friends on Saturday and my goal is to get down at least 2 lbs before the party and then eat a bit while I'm there, but still less than an average person would.
My currently plan is 500 cal tomorrow, fast Wednesday, 500 cal Thursday, 700 cal Friday, and then no counting Saturday but still being aware and making conscious good food choices. I can already tell it's risky. I'm alternately considering trying to fast Saturday in order to avoid food altogether, or eating small in the morning and fasting during the party, but I feel bad not eating when I'm with my boyfriend because I know he loves me and gets worried.
Any advice or suggestions??
[Other] I'm so.....despondent
/u/2fckk
Created: Mon Dec 11 20:01:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j7od2/im_sodespondent/
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I have those dead, grey eyes & sunken shallow cheeks. Long-term malnutrition has robbed me of life, laughter, & personality. It has replaced "me" with paranoia, fear, and depression.
My battle to not eat has been replaced with a battle to eat enough to not be completely insane.
My hair is falling out too. It has been falling out so it's not new but....the gravity of that reality never gets old.
I hate anorexia. Nothing is glamorous, nothing is exciting, nothing is lovely or dainty or sweet. Nothing is "goals". None of it is acceptable, none of it is a "lifestyle". None of it is justifiable. It's elongated death. It's robbery. It's filth. It's tragedy.
[Discussion] DAE not take vitamins
/u/alexxxxis [5'9 | CW:129 | BMI: 19.2 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 11 19:35:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j7ikv/dae_not_take_vitamins/
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I feel like I don't deserve to be healthy and take vitamins or replenish electrolytes after purging.
[Rant/Rave] anorexia can fucking choke lmao so can boys AAAH
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 11 19:30:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j7hi4/anorexia_can_fucking_choke_lmao_so_can_boys_aaah/
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[deleted]
[Other] On breaking up.
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'3"|115|X|X|F]
Created: Mon Dec 11 19:24:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j7gaz/on_breaking_up/
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I broke up with my bf yesterday. I haven't felt the same love towards him for like 3 months now. We had been dating for like 2 years. He hasn't responded to my texts.
I don't feel hurt or like I've been punched; just kind of lonely in a bittersweet way.
This forum is safe so I feel ok with posting this.
[Help] Any recovered people here? How did you do it?
/u/I_give_up_258
Created: Mon Dec 11 19:16:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j7ecn/any_recovered_people_here_how_did_you_do_it/
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Hey, so I think at one point I had a weird version of ednos which was mostly anorexia. But now it turned into binge eating disorder. My eating patterns have changed but my thoughts have not. I am still constantly thinking about food and how to stop thinking about it, unsuccessfully. I just want to stop thinking about food. Please help if you have any advice!
[Rant/Rave] I'm actually so excited for the holidays
/u/proudnalgeneowner [5'5 | CW92.2 | UGW88 | 15.52 | 17F]
Created: Mon Dec 11 18:57:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j7a4j/im_actually_so_excited_for_the_holidays/
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here's why
there's snow on the ground! everyone has lights in their yards! making cookies (for others) is fun and they smell so nice! big fluffy sweaters! tea and books! everything is so *festive!* getting and giving gifts! skiing soon!
of course my anxiety is through the fucking roof but other than that I'm golden. last year I spent all of December, January, and February in treatment and it was a nice place but it sucked ass because yknow, treatment.
it's so nice to be home restricting as I please and losertown says I'm on track to hit my UGW by Christmas day :))
[Rant/Rave] Ugh... my friend just asked me for advice
/u/deadpetz [5'11"|CW: 159.2 lbs|BMI: 22.2|Weight Lost: -105.8 lbs|Male]
Created: Mon Dec 11 18:55:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j79wy/ugh_my_friend_just_asked_me_for_advice/
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My friend who is also a freshman at college just messaged me and asked for advice on how to "be like me and have an eating disorder" and that she doesnt want to eat anymore. I'm not usually the type to get triggered or whatever but I messaged her back and told her that was terrible to ask me since she's close to me and knows how much I struggle with food. I told her how to calculate calorie deficits and maintain a nutritious diet but she said she doesn't want to do that and would rather just not eat.
I'm so angry and sad because I don't want her to go through even a fraction of what I'm going through right now. Jesus Christ, I don't know what I can tell her since she doesn't want to lose weight safely/at a moderate rate.
[Discussion] anybody else really scared for Christmas break?
/u/Petite-Fee
Created: Mon Dec 11 18:44:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j77fk/anybody_else_really_scared_for_christmas_break/
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I’m going to visit my brother, he lives in east Asia. I’m really excited but also that’s a week and a half of airport snacks/food. Also I won’t really be able to read the food labels. Plus I’m vegetarian so I don’t know what the fuck I’m gonna eat. Rice and edamame are pretty low calorie tho
anyways gl to all y’all, holidays can be tough
[Help] my body just doesnt seem to digest food.
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 17BMI | -165 | 30F | AU]
Created: Mon Dec 11 18:34:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j75d7/my_body_just_doesnt_seem_to_digest_food/
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basically the title. getting fiber into my diet is terrifying. I eat the same shit, (200 calorie basically nothing salad) every night because its safe. I am pretty much terrified to eat anything out of the usual (theres about 5 or less things I'll eat for dinner). I have picked up eating fibre rich cereal but thats becoming on the very unsafe side (ie I just had some and have been crying since)
I'm not really sure what to do (i could go into more detail but yeah). The last few weeks I've had to take laxatives way more frequently than I ever have (only once in awhile) because I just cant, and I really just.. dont want to be dependant on that. But I feel so disgusting, fat, bloated a lot of the time, just wishing for my body to digest food. I try to eat a bit more even if it terrifies me, hoping that maybe that will i dont know, help. but nothing does.
I dont know.
[Rant/Rave] Tried to weigh myself for the first time in 6+months
/u/im-nobody-too [CW: idk | GW: Maintain don't gain | 26f]
Created: Mon Dec 11 18:14:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j70rk/tried_to_weigh_myself_for_the_first_time_in/
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I haven't weighed myself in a while, but today I was feeling panicked after seeing myself in the mirror and realizing that I've definitely gained a lot of weight. So I spent a couple hours emotionally preparing myself to get on the scale and see my weight...just to see 'low battery'.
So now, I have to go to the store and buy a new battery, get out the screwdriver, and actually change the battery. And then try to emotionally prepare myself all over again.
So I'm probably not going to weigh myself tonight after all. Which is probably a good thing, because I know I'm going to be upset when I see how much I've gained. But...ugh, talk about a roller coaster of emotions.
[Rant/Rave] Longest fast ever
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Mon Dec 11 17:31:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j6r8s/longest_fast_ever/
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Guys it’s been over 90 hours and I feel amazing!!!!
I don’t ever want to eat again, I’m dreading when I finally have to 😒
I’m just really afraid it will turn into me bingeing 😩
Anyways riding the high for now!!
[Rant/Rave] On the verge of tears over 20 calories
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | CW: 120 | GW: small | F]
Created: Mon Dec 11 16:59:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j6jlj/on_the_verge_of_tears_over_20_calories/
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I've just been feeling kind of weak/out of it and not super ravenous, so I was going to skip dinner tonight, but then my friend messaged me and suggested eating together. I have enough calories left for today to grab a small meal from the university cafeteria, about 360 cals. He wanted to grab McDonald's, in which case I'd end up ordering a 380-cal sandwich. I kept having to come up with dumb excuses as to why I didn't want to go out to eat ANYPLACE (he listed a bunch of fast food suggestions) and now I feel like crying. Because of 20 extra calories. Which I could still balance out easily with the rest of my intake this week.
God, I hope I'm just PMSing because this is so frickin' irrational. But that also means that I'm going to get my period, which I've skipped the past few weeks, so UGH. On top of that, it's finals week. I just feel ridiculous and overwhelmed all around.
[Rant/Rave] This sub is like a playground for me ❤
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 11 16:52:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j6i04/this_sub_is_like_a_playground_for_me/
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[deleted]
[Help] Birth control?
/u/VioletVendetta06
Created: Mon Dec 11 16:52:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j6hzh/birth_control/
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So I need to be put on birth control soon but I'm not sure which one I should choose. I really don't want to gain weight!!!!!!! That's a common side effect for lots. I know that every medication affects everyone differently but I wanted to know what your guys' experiences were like. I should stay away from daily pills because I'm very bad at remembering that stuff. I'm mostly looking into the shot or an iud
[Help] nauseous after eating?
/u/silverkel
Created: Mon Dec 11 16:33:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j6ds4/nauseous_after_eating/
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Does anyone else feel nauseous after eating? (not purge-related) I just drank some broth and feel sick and like I have a fever. I have been restricting lately so I am wondering if that's got something to do with it.
[Rant/Rave] I need to talk about what happened in April.
/u/throwawaymyrazor [5'9" | CW 150 | 22.5 | GW 120]
Created: Mon Dec 11 16:20:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j6amr/i_need_to_talk_about_what_happened_in_april/
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I am alone, have no friends to burden my problems with other than my boyfriend, and I am ready to talk about it. I will apologize in advance for this message because I have had a few drinks.
For some background: I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years as of this Saturday. He is the most amazing man I ever met. We met when I was 18; I weighed 230 pounds, and I was a virgin. He was my first. We were not together at first, but after I lost some weight, we were a couple. It sounds bad but it really wasn't -- he wanted someone thinner who lived a lifestyle similar to him and had the same values about ourselves. He used to be a chubby kid, but he lost 40 pounds and got into the gym before he met me, and he showed me how to live a healthy lifestyle and taught me how to eat right. I went from 230 to 140 in less than a year. Although I am so much tinier than I ever was, I feel the worst about myself. I struggle with disordered eating. I ate for almost a year sub 500 calories with very few cheat days, now I stare in the mirror and eat popcorn and cry and watch as my body gets fatter and fatter. Then I purge and restrict.
We both put a lot of emphasis on our appearances, in both good and bad ways. We both want to be the best versions of ourselves, and he help each other eat well and maintain healthy weights.
I started nursing school this year. I am very smart, but I work a lot, and doing all these things is hard. Early in the year, I went from about 145 to 165. I started eating like a normal person because I thought, "Hey, I'm thin, and can eat like others do and I won't suddenly balloon back up to 230."
We are an adventurous couple. I love women. I LOVE women's bodies. I love touching women and especially turning my man on by making out with women in front of my man. In April, we had "group sex" with this gorgeous, Panaman girl we work with. She is stunning. She is sexy. She can dance like a professional. I am ugly, frumpy, and sllly. We also had another guy there, and long story short, the girl had a boyfriend and we stopped halfway through all the sex because she got paranoid her bf was gonna come home.
I got to eat her out. The other guy got to fuck her. My boyfriend didn't get to put his dick inside her. BIG FUCKING WHOOP
My bf has had bad confidence for years. For some reason he was completely destroyed about it. One night, after many nights of him not being himself at all, I kept asking him what was wrong, and he expressed to me how devastated he was to not get this girl's attention and that he was "so infatuated with her." I told him to get the fuck out of my apartment, went to my shower, and threw myself on the floor of the bathtub and cried like I never have before and I never have since.
Cue me snooping through texts and Skype messages (which was wrong of me), finding out he has been texting other girls on Tindr, he and Ms. Panama hanging out without me so he could boost his self confidence, text messages where he sent a friend a PERSONAL PICTURE OF MY BODY. and said "This is all I could get?", I found out what he really thought of my recent weight gain. I slip my wrists in the shower and he found me, and I never stopped cutting after that (I've lived since self harm since I was 9).
I don't know what I want out of this... I just needed to tell someone. I will probably update this. It has been 8 months and I am better now -- we are better now -- and he is over it all, and I have lost a lot of weight. But now I think... what will happen when I carry your child and I am not the 140 girl you knew? Why am I so ugly and useless that I can't do for you what some 5'6", 100 pound girl who can dance can do for you? Why am I stuck inside this body? Why am I me? I just //need// to get this out of my system. I wish I could tell you everything. I wish I could tell you about all the times I cut my legs and let myself bleed all over the floor, and the times in the early morning I would sit in the bathtub just to feel as heavy as I am and to see how dark I could make the water. I wish I could help myself.
tl;br longterm bf was obsessed with this other girl earlier in the year and I take it really personally.
EDIT: I feel like I've made him look like total shit... He's not. He knows what his mistakes were. He didn't admit to them at first and blamed it on me but he has come to his senses over time. He has always treated me nicely... it's just been stressful lately.
[Rant/Rave] welp, just binged like 8k calories
/u/Rhyanon [5'7" | 152 | 23.74 | -37 | F (trans af)]
Created: Mon Dec 11 15:25:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j5xm2/welp_just_binged_like_8k_calories/
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wanna attempt to throw it up but it never works anyway and lowkey dont wanna alert my flatmates
ah well, looks like im fasting tomorrow
[Help] Can anorexia lead to bingeing?
/u/lavenderbruises [5'9"|CW 109| GW 100| BMI 15.87| 19F]
Created: Mon Dec 11 14:48:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j5o8k/can_anorexia_lead_to_bingeing/
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I've been restricting for some months, but in between days I'd have periods of bingeing when I just can't seem to stop until I'm completely stuffed. It was never like this when I ate normally. Back then, I'd have 3 meals a day, some snacks in between, and feel fine.
But now even if I do eat a full meal, I still think about food constantly and have urges to eat sugary/fatty stuff like candy and chips.
I'm really scared because I'm thinking so much about food these days it's hard to concentrate.
[Rant/Rave] Trying to think myself skinny
/u/th3Y3ti [5' 3.5" | CW 119| LW 110| F]
Created: Mon Dec 11 14:20:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j5hfh/trying_to_think_myself_skinny/
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On day 2 of a fast and my brain is at least 30% always occupied with trying to "will" my body to lose faster haha.
Like I catch myself thinking "come on burn more already" because I'm so scared that I'm going to finish this fast with no results.
I forgot how nice it is to be touched by someone who appreciates a woman's actual shape
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 147lb | 21.32 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 11 14:19:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j5h2w/i_forgot_how_nice_it_is_to_be_touched_by_someone/
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Last week I ended up sleeping with my ex-boyfriend. Now him and I were best friends long before dating briefly which ended because we wanted different things in life. But anyway, we've reconnected and since we were both each other's best in the bedroom we decided to have a stress relieving evening together. At one point I sat up in bed and he immediately put his hands on my waist and was moving them up and down feeling the hourglass shape and I swooned. It's amazing the impact of the way someone touches you on this disease. I've been with guys in the last few years but none of them made me feel super confident about my body. As soon as he put his hands on me I got this feeling like I was the hottest thing he'd ever seen and couldn't not touch me. It made me feel better about where I am and how I look. Anyone feel better when someone touches them in the right way?
[Discussion] What are your December goals?
/u/quoth_the_phoenix
Created: Mon Dec 11 14:08:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j5dx6/what_are_your_december_goals/
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Mine are:
📝to finish my law school apps
📝 to get to 130 (this should be doable even with the holidays bc I am 135 now. At least I was before my period started yesterday and I binged. Was too afraid to weigh myself this morning so I’ll weigh in tomorrow)
📝to continue NOT purging. This is really important to me. I’ve gotten a lot better at not binging which I am proud of but I also want to not purge even when I do binge. It’s hard to resist but I hate how it burns my throat and I hate having to sneak around after eating to pull it off. Mostly I fear the health consequences and I fear how addictive it is.
[Other] DAE love watching Tami Dunn?
/u/usernameblahhhhh
Created: Mon Dec 11 14:04:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j5ch4/dae_love_watching_tami_dunn/
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...why am I so obsessed with reviews of food I'll never eat?
[Discussion] How do you deal with people telling you not to complain about weight because they think you're not fat?
/u/cryfawn [5'6 | CW:47,8kg | GW:44kg | F]
Created: Mon Dec 11 14:01:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j5bpj/how_do_you_deal_with_people_telling_you_not_to/
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So I just posted a little rant on my blog where I complained about my weight, and I got an anonymous respond from someone telling me I'm whiny and ungrateful for taking my "thinness" for granted... I don't know how to respond without looking like an ass. How would y'all handle a situation like this?
[Discussion] DAE: Eating in front of others makes you irrationally uncomfortable?
/u/uncommonlyaverage [5'3" | CW 108 | UGW 92 |19F]
Created: Mon Dec 11 14:01:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j5bn5/dae_eating_in_front_of_others_makes_you/
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Part of the reason college was so hard for me and fell back into my disordered eating was because of having to eat in front of others. I'm so afraid of going to the dining hall. Eating in front of anyone makes me feel ashamed, embarrassed, and disgusted with myself. In my head even if I'm eating a salad I feel like someone is judging me and thinking I'm so fat.
Growing up I was chubby and I remember being laughed at for eating at lunch by other kids. My dad and grandmother always made comments about my food and my body. Saying "you'll get fat again if you eat those carbs."...I'm eating "too processed" when I eat a vegan meat substitute...."do you REALLY need that piece of bread." Or that "I'm eating too much" or to "watch what I eat since I'm not throwing up anymore, so that I don't gain weight." (This was after I was discharged from residential treatment for bulimia and anorexia). My dad also constantly makes fun of overweight people at restaurants/in public. My grandma despite being obese has made comments about the weight of other women ex: some overweight women were sitting at a bar and she says "why do they even bother trying to pick up men looking like that and eating like that." Now they bully me and insult me about being "too thin/anorexic" or if I allow my self to have a dessert on the rare occasion they say "why bother you're just going to throw it up." Or they make jokes about how little I eat while simultaneously saying if I eat unhealthy I'll get fat. Despite my grandmother as I said being obese and living off of frozen pizza, regular soda, chips, little Debbie cakes, and and not eating a vegetable unless it's smothered in butter.
Sometimes I think I'm being irrational, but I've legitimately been judged so harshly by my weight/diet over the years that I think everyone is as cruel as my family/peers. It's so hard to think that everyone doesn't judge me like my family does.
[Intro] Introduction Post (long time lurker...)
/u/mibunnie [5'2" | CW:181 | GW:115 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 11 13:38:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j54f5/introduction_post_long_time_lurker/
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I've never gotten to explain my entire situation, so please bare with me as I go through my timeline. I'll try to keep my history/story short (I made a separate account so I can post comfortably):
Grew up fairly thin/average. Fluctuated from 110-125lbs.
Always was in a type of relationship that pointed out flaws about myself and my body.
Turned 21, dated a nice guy who didn't criticize me for once. That's when the dramatic weight gain happened. Through the next 3 years of our relationship, I gained weight and weighed up to 196lbs.
We broke up and I went into another relationship. No criticism about my body, but after our "spark" faded, I started to hate myself, blaming my weight and looks for why he wasn't attracted to me anymore.
Obsession began...I started to purge...then it morphed into a mix of BP and 0 calorie fasting. I dropped to 135lbs. He still didn't pay attention to me. Regained the weight, break up, and tried to lose the weight.
I went through 4 years of being single and I was doing a copious amount of partying which I fluctuated my weight from 140-160lbs.
Start dating a guy (my current SO) at 160lbs. He is 6'3" and weighs 165lbs. Tall skinny man. He doesn't bring me down about my body, and he knows that I am struggling with my weigh and he really is sweet on being supportive (he does not know about my ED). But, UGH, when I stand next to him, I am a short BLOB. I feel disgusting being next to him. And I still gained 20 more fucking pounds. I work a 9-5 and he works the night shift at his job. So even though we live together, he isn't around. I started to BP again...
No matter where I was/am in life with my weight, I am always fat. My body is disgusting, and I cannot be happy with who I am.
I'm trying not to BP... I am trying to do intermittent fasting, with a very strict CICO. But dammit if I even eat 200 calories and a chug of water, I cannot accept the feeling of anything being in my stomach anymore.
I am a bit scared that my BP will come back in full swing. I am trying to be ok with "feeling full" when its just water. But since my bf isn't around...who is there to stop/judge me? I guess my dog.
If you are still reading, thanks for hearing out my story. I am starting to feel alone cause I can't talk to anyone about this.
[Rant/Rave] The only thing I can control in my life is my ED
/u/bralettes [5'6" | 20F]
Created: Mon Dec 11 13:37:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j546o/the_only_thing_i_can_control_in_my_life_is_my_ed/
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I waited three days to make sure it wasn't just me acting up.. but my life has been a bit unstable, I'm tired, and there's nothing in my life to look forward to anymore.
Over the last 5 years when I recognized my ED, I've taken every anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication, met with several doctors, ED specialists, therapists, support groups, and a nutritionist... and still nothing. I remember even a therapist asking "So who in your social circle can you go talk to when you leave my office?" and I remember profusely lying about all the acquaintances in life, even after I told her I had social anxiety. My first year of college was great but I also started dating my best friend, and soon later when we broke up, I didn't really have anyone to go to other than my sorority. But my sorority also gave me really bad anxiety because they were all skinny and hot and smart, which I wasn't. I remember going to a party after my break up and this frat guy was talking to me and told me I was pretty and we talked for hours, and we had made out, but I could smell the alcohol straight of out his mouth, but he kept telling me wanted to be there. When I said hi to him in my calculus class, he pretended to not remember me, maybe because he didn't want to seen with me.
I've never been to any sorority / fraternity socials after that. I haven't had a real friend to go to, and so I've been giving myself up to older men, which lead to my rape, which my boyfriend found out about and dumped me. This is also the same boyfriend who also manipulated me and groomed me for sex constantly, but I thought it was normal because he told me he saw it in porn. But right now, I'm so alone that I really honestly feel better off dead, but I don't know why I'm too scared to do something about it.
Sorry, I didn't mean to vent, but I honestly feel like I'm relapsing again. I'm going to fail all my classes this week because I really, really don't feel like going to school and I've been to anxious to study for finals. There's too many things going on in my head and I just wish I was away. The only thing I have in my life I can control in my ED, and sadly this is all I have left in my life that's stable and in my power.
[Other] Feeling grateful for Soylent. It makes calorie counting easy and it’s 20% all vitamins and protein. I ran out yesterday so I had a normal eating day today but I can’t wait to get back on it tomorrow.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 11 13:34:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j53el/feeling_grateful_for_soylent_it_makes_calorie/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] What is your favorite tea?
/u/NegativeOscillation [5'9" | CW: 143 lbs | GW1: 130 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Dec 11 13:29:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j51na/what_is_your_favorite_tea/
---
I’ve been getting a little bored with my plain green tea/lemon green tea so I’m looking for new ones to try!
What’s your favorite tea?
[Discussion] DAE always always always binge when they are alone?
/u/daisyhands
Created: Mon Dec 11 13:19:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j4ylf/dae_always_always_always_binge_when_they_are_alone/
---
i literally can not control myself! i never binge when someone is home but as soon as there is no one in the house all control is flushed down the toilet. i think it’s because i don’t want to b/p in front of people or have them hear me purge. it’s such a terrible mindset and i dread being alone so much.
[Discussion] ED and social anxiety
/u/clittter [5'1.5" | cw 150 | gw 145 | ugw 100 | -20]
Created: Mon Dec 11 12:50:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j4q2v/ed_and_social_anxiety/
---
So I don't really have any close friends anymore. I moved away from a good friend group thinking it would be easy to find that again and it didn't work out that way at all. So I have a couple of friends here and there, and the fatter I get from binging, the more intrusive thoughts I have that they really don't enjoy spending time with me. That they actually feel bad for me and are being my friends out of pity. It came to a head when I asked one of them to hang out this weekend and she declined saying that she was planning on staying in all weekend, then I saw on instagram that she went out pretty much the entire weekend. The only conclusion I can draw from that is that she just specifically didn't want to hang out with me.
I know it's not directly because I'm gaining weight, but I feel like such a depressing slob when I'm binging, why would anyone want to be around me? The weight gain is just visual evidence that I've lost some kind of battle in my life and people are going from enjoying me as a person to feeling sorry for me. And maybe losing the weight alone wouldn't change that, but I feel like I'd be a better, different person if I did lose it. I wouldn't hate myself so much. People would enjoy being around me again. I might even enjoy being around people again without all these intrusive thoughts that they actually pity and despise me. I want to shut myself up and lose 50 lbs then have a totally different life. I'm so triggered by my own disgusting body that deep down inside I feel like everyone else is disgusted with me as well
[Help] Where to find clothes for being very petite??
/u/uncommonlyaverage [5'3" | CW 108 | UGW 92 |19F]
Created: Mon Dec 11 12:49:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j4puu/where_to_find_clothes_for_being_very_petite/
---
I am already in a size 0 or even a 00 in some stores (vanity sizing I guess). I have a really small waist, but I am still awhile from my goal weight. Where do you guys who are short and super tiny find pants/skirts/dresses that fit? Shirts aren't as big of a concern for me. None of my clothes really fit anymore, but I am worried nothing will fit me when I reach 92 lbs.
[Rant/Rave] My puppy judging me...
/u/aceshighsays [5'2" | C: 109.6 | -28.4 | F | G: 99]
Created: Mon Dec 11 12:35:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j4m7b/my_puppy_judging_me/
---
I got a puppy a few days ago and he's been great... but he watches me constantly and I feel like he's judging me when I eat. I have to pass by his play pen to get to the kitchen. Every time I pass by he wags his tail and get's close to me, but I'm walking to the kitchen. And then I sit down with my food as he watches me eat.
[Help] need help getting ready for jan 1
/u/lilalime [5' 7" | 127 | 18.6]
Created: Mon Dec 11 11:42:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j487a/need_help_getting_ready_for_jan_1/
---
Hey! My boyfriend rocks and surprised me with a trip to a resort in California for NYE with a group of our friends. It sucks that I'm dreading wearing a swimsuit in front of everyone though and would definitely prefer to feel good and have fun, so any advice you all have to be resort ready by Jan 1st would be so so so helpful! (I know the best advice for bikini body is to have a body and put a bikini on it but I also know I'd have way more fun if I felt good about how I look)
I'm currently *blessed* with an adderall prescription and eat around 600-700 cal/day. If I'm by myself I don't have a problem fasting but I'm almost always with very well-meaning but pushy friends (who are already suspicious of an ed)
Are there any safe foods I can eat in front of people? Foods I should avoid? Tips for getting rid of water weight and any exercise tips would be awesome too.
Thank you so so much for any help and I'm super grateful this community exists bc lurking it has helped me feel so much less alone :)
[Rant/Rave] Well it happened, and let me tell it's not worth it.
/u/i_have_daddy_issues [5'4" | 120.3 | GW1: 120 | GW2: 115 | F |]
Created: Mon Dec 11 10:27:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j3o0r/well_it_happened_and_let_me_tell_its_not_worth_it/
---
So I am currently recovering from food poisoning and I honestly wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy.
Yesterday at 2 PM I was driving home and I started to get acid reflux. I have never gotten it before but it was kinda one of those things where I knew instantly what is was. I called my amazing and supportive boyfriend (who knows about my eating disorder and is yet still with me, crazy!!!) what to do because he experiences acid reflux a lot.
At this point I was 50 minutes away from home and was trying to not panic, but at one point I had to pull over on the side of the highway to spit into a bag because I thought I was going to throw up. So I had to race home and I fucking flew down the highway and as soon as I got out of my car, raced to my bathroom, and let out the most vile and disgusting noises while vomiting.
I felt like Satan was coming out of me both ends. I originally thought it was just acid reflux since I drank wine the previous night and had coffee the following morning, but once I vomited for the fourth time, I knew I was in big trouble. I proceeded to be in the bathroom until midnight where I hung my head over the toilet because any sudden movement made my stomach churn and my head nauseous.
I wanted to end my life, the amount of times I vomited so forcefully that I caused it to come out the other way was too much. Imagine using the toilet but not having enough time to pull up your pants so you vomit while your pants are around your ankles.
My sweet boyfriend stayed on the phone with me, trying to comfort me. I couldn't even sit up because of my stomach. I tried laying down, but I vomited instantly. So I was stuck in a criss cross position for almost 8 hours on my bathroom floor, browsing reddit in between vomits.
At this point, I was exhausted. My abs hurt, my joints hurt from dehydration, and I couldn't drink water or else I would throw it back up. I was literally hallucinating about a big, cold cup of ice.
At 1 AM, I managed to sit myself up on my bed and watch some shows, but couldn't fall asleep because of the nausea. 1 AM became 6 AM and my boyfriend called me to see how I was. He told me to go to walmart and get some powerade zero and tums and bananas, so I drove to get some. Once I got home, I was able to lay down for once and literally passed out and just woke up. I am no longer expelling satan from my body and am able to drink water.
So in conclusion, food poisoning is not worth it. Fast for a couple of days or restrict for a week, but don't try and give yourself food poisoning. It is not worth it.
On the bright side, yesterday was going to be my binge day, but instead I vomited for 10 hours straight. So that's cool
[Rant/Rave] Best feeling
/u/Fantasisingfunerals [5’8 | 118 | BMI: 18.0 | 17F]
Created: Mon Dec 11 10:21:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j3moo/best_feeling/
---
I adore the feeling of clarity when you check your weight for the first time in a while and you see that you haven’t put on any weight, you’ve in fact lost a pound, despite eating over your daily personal limit 💓
[Help] Anyone taking Abilify?
/u/dungeonmasterbater
Created: Mon Dec 11 09:56:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j3gb6/anyone_taking_abilify/
---
I was prescribed it at a recent hospital stay.
A girl I had gotten close with noted that I was finally finishing my meals.
“Abilify is great for that. Your appetite goes crazy.”
It freaked me out so bad.
Anyone else taking Abilify? Does it really increase your appetite?
[Discussion] I always feel really good when I fast at work because all my coworkers talk about is food
/u/dismyedun
Created: Mon Dec 11 08:50:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j30d2/i_always_feel_really_good_when_i_fast_at_work/
---
Well, food and the weather. But I always feel like I'm low-key operating on a higher plane when I'm fasting and they're going on an on about what they had for breakfast, what they brought for lunch, what they'll have for snacks, what they're making for dinner, etc. Like I am not subject to the same banal, earthly needs. Which I am, of course, but it makes me feel good to at least not be so outwardly obvious about it. I hope that makes sense.
[Help] Reconciling a fear of losing weight.
/u/xerox13ster [5'9" | 287 | 41.3 | 0 | MtF]
Created: Mon Dec 11 08:11:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j2rg5/reconciling_a_fear_of_losing_weight/
---
So I have this alter (I know this isn't the place for that, but hear me out) who is afraid of losing weight and being small.
Every time I start making progress, if she gets control of the body, she will binge like mad--just pure calories. I have lost the same 50lbs over and over again by fasting and exercise. Every time I think about how nice it will be thin and skinny, I feel her recoil internally.
It's a zero sum game because I have to work 10 times harder than she does to have the same effect on the body. She can just eat a few packages of ramen to destroy the progress I make with any exercise or fast.
Does anyone else here who goes through binge cycles struggle with a fear of hitting your goal weight? How do you reconcile that to make progress?
I've tried just straight up not keeping food in the house, but inevitably, when she gets the chance she'll go above and beyond to sabotage me. I'm getting really sick of the binge cycles.
[Discussion] December 11th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 11 07:57:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j2o9f/december_11th_2017_question_of_the_day/
---
Where do you find joy?
[Help] I'm counting every calorie, yet not losing as fast as I should be.
/u/fattynomnoms
Created: Mon Dec 11 07:00:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j2cd4/im_counting_every_calorie_yet_not_losing_as_fast/
---
Science says that while consuming as little as I am, I should be losing 3 lbs per week. Yet I'm losing barely 1.5. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, but its stressing the crap out of me. Yes, I've calculated and recalculated everything over and over again and the info I'm inputting is correct. Any ideas what's going on?
[Rant/Rave] I’m feeling great
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 | CW 145 | 24.1| -10lb| F]
Created: Mon Dec 11 06:52:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j2ars/im_feeling_great/
---
I can’t believe I am loosing so much I need to update my tag. I weighed 156 this year and I can’t believe I gained that much when I had always been 140 and now I have gotten back down to 142. I switched to a vegan diet and start my mornings with green tea and room temp water. I still wish food wasn’t fucking consuming my constant daily thoughts but I think that I am starting to coexist with my ED idfk let’s hope I don’t derail back into a binge this week.
(PS) I had been vegetarian the past two years and just went vegan two weeks ago but a few days ago when I started my period I had cheese pizza and felt like shit so NEVER again.
[Other] I just saw someone faint on the subway...
/u/thinsponeeded [5'6" | 113 | -17 | GW: 108 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 11 06:46:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j29m1/i_just_saw_someone_faint_on_the_subway/
---
And my first reaction was wow, I wish people would be that concerned about me. She was extremely thin and people were speculating low blood sugar (But really no one has any idea why). I sincerely hope she is okay and I wish I could have helped. I hope it isn't anything serious. But I had these thoughts of, I wish I was that skinny. I wish someone had to pick me up to get me off the metro too, and help me. This scenario literally feeds into all those negative thoughts supporting my awful eating behavior. I feel guilty for wishing I was her, guilty for feeling this way, just guilt and anger at myself for reacting this way. Just a lot of bad emotions right now.
I didn't know what to tag this as and needed to get this off my chest, sorry y'all...
[Rant/Rave] Just had a blast at the grocery store
/u/coconutfi [5'9" | CW: 128 | GW: 116 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 11 05:56:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j20gf/just_had_a_blast_at_the_grocery_store/
---
I've been out of the country for several months and recently got back and omg do I have a greater appreciation for US grocery stores.
Variety of halo top and quest bars and Kombucha and everything!!!
I can't even eat any of it yet because I'm trying to do at least a 3 day fast (I'm on hour 60 lets go!!!) but I spent almost an hour soaking everything in lmao
[Rant/Rave] I'm an idiot.
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 60.9 kg | BMI: 22.6 | -22.6 kg | 21F]
Created: Mon Dec 11 05:55:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j20as/im_an_idiot/
---
My stomach hurts like shit with all the threads in it (from my operation on friday) and it's actually bad enough to make me feel nauseaus but am I taking pain killers? Hell no. Why? Well the pain is a friggin good appetite surpressant after all! No cure against stupidity is there?
[Discussion] Who would your ED-monster be?
/u/Alolboba
Created: Mon Dec 11 05:31:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j1wbh/who_would_your_edmonster_be/
---
A few months back [I posted my thoughts](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70irxz/portraying_ed_in_film/) about writing a horror short film about a girl with an eating disorder. I got some amazing input from you kind people. I am still writing, and am now playing around with the idea of giving her an actual physical monster portraying her eating disorder.
Do you ever think about your eating disorder in that way? If it was a person, a monster, or - as I call it - a stowaway: What would you guys do together? How would it act? Would it be nice, evil, flirty, manipulative, sweet, ugly?
What would it tell you?
What would it look like, and what would its super powers and weak spots be?
How would you be able to conquer it (and would you WANT to conquer it)?
If you did decide to conquer it, what do you think would have to happen for you to want to break free from it (what would be or has been your WORST point together with it)?
Would it always be present, or would it visit you at certain times? If so, when?
Would it be invisible to other people? Would you try hiding it for other people?
Feel free to be as vivid and detailed, or brief and concise, as you wish! I’d love to tell you a bit more about my monster if you’d be interested.
Best,
Alba
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! December 11, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Dec 11 05:14:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j1tmx/weekly_stats_update_december_11_2017/
---
This is the weekly status thread for December 11, 2017.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! December 11, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Dec 11 05:14:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j1tlx/daily_food_diary_december_11_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 11, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] What triggered you ?
/u/alikat35
Created: Mon Dec 11 04:55:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j1qpz/what_triggered_you/
---
What started it did it just start ? Your ED was there a trigger ? Something that happened, was said, you saw ? I'm curious ... how did having your ED start?
For me it was my dad.... I was 12 and he had said i looked fat and my mum went nuts saying he was wrong and crazy. That was the first day I purged and I start rescricting very soon after .
Now today I realise he liked anorexic and sick looking women he has taste for very small and skinny girls. But it still was and is my biggest trigger till today which is fucked but all well.
[Rant/Rave] It hurts.
/u/Hextoria
Created: Mon Dec 11 03:07:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j1b68/it_hurts/
---
This place used to keep me motivated but recently, it hurts. Reading your success stories while i, as a chocolate addict, am eating everything i see at nights then promising myself to start the next day.
[Discussion] DAE underdress as a way of punishing them self?
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 80 lbs | 15.13 | -27 | f]
Created: Mon Dec 11 02:28:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j15vi/dae_underdress_as_a_way_of_punishing_them_self/
---
ex. I ate dinner last night so now I'm not allowed to layer up this morning? and then you just kind of freeze in defeat?
[Discussion] Breakfast or dinner?
/u/Fantasisingfunerals [5’8 | 118 | BMI: 18.0 | 17F]
Created: Mon Dec 11 02:13:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j13x1/breakfast_or_dinner/
---
Hello, I tend to limit myself to one meal a day which is dinner and it normally consists of 500-600 cals. But today, I woke up and couldn’t resist the spaghetti that was a leftover from my family’s meal last night (im rounding it to around 600 as I didn’t finish all of the leftovers) and I was hit with a sudden revelation: if I have breakfast as my one meal, I’m burning it off all day :0000
So, is breakfast better to have than dinner, due to burning it off all day?
[Help] I ended up in the hospital and have been told I'm malnourished, I need help please.
/u/OriginsOfSymmetry
Created: Mon Dec 11 01:46:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j10d0/i_ended_up_in_the_hospital_and_have_been_told_im/
---
I searched across Google to find a subreddit that would fit this and this seemed like the closest. I just can't take this life anymore and I'm exhausted and tired of feeling sick all the time. Usually it starts with depression or anxiety causing me to not eat. I'm already a slender guy at 5' 10 and 110 pounds so losing more weight is just not okay for me. The problem I'm having is that I can't seem to eat full meals anymore because I start to feel sick. I want to get better, I want to be healthy. In the last 2 years I met a girl who completely changed my life, she's supportive and even better she is now my fiancé. I spent so long depressed and not wanting to be here and now that's changing, I want to be around as long as possible. With all that said here are questions I have. What is a good starting step to get on track with healthy eating habits on a really tight budget? Currently I wake up at 8am and am at work for 8:45, I don't eat breakfast or lunch as I'm on the road all day and buying food is money I can't spend. I usually eat around 7:30pm - 10pm before going to bed at midnight and starting the cycle over. I've never really ate breakfast so I'm not sure where to even start there. What things can I eat that will get my stomach comfortable towards eating, fill me with what I need, and not make me sick? What things would be cheap and simple to bring for lunches on the road? Should I take vitamins during this period to help pick up the slack?
I apologize for my first visit here being one like this but I feel really helpless here. I get depressed so I can't eat, I start to feel sick because I'm not eating, I start to get depressed because I feel sick and weak. It's a vicious cycle I really want to end. I'm heading to bed now but I appreciate any and all help or advice you can offer. I will be reading everything tomorrow.
[Intro] I am new here and I hope this is the right place
/u/Feeye
Created: Mon Dec 11 00:57:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j0tsc/i_am_new_here_and_i_hope_this_is_the_right_place/
---
Well. I guess I should start with a little information about myself. I am a 17 year old Girl, and I am and was Always a little overweight.
And since I can remember I couldn't loose any weight, except the time I had to take Ritalin.
And well, I was Happy with my Body then, but I don't have to take the meds anymore so I gained the weight again that I lost.
Also I've got diagnosed with hypothyreosis, and this didn't make anything easier.
And well, since early childhood everything was about my weight, Not from my mother, but my father (who still asks me if I don't want to loose some weight), my grandmothers and my grandfather.
Well and since then it have been always times in which I almost ate nothing, to everything I can reach, to doing excessive sports, to throwing up.
I know I should talk to a therapist about this, but I didnt had the guts yet.
[Rant/Rave] I made a midnight meal - tomato rice and sprinkled some cucumber and pepper on top!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 11 00:26:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j0pbp/i_made_a_midnight_meal_tomato_rice_and_sprinkled/
---
https://i.redd.it/z3pci4tew8301.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Sometimes I'm Not Sure If I'm Full Or Just Disgusted.
/u/serpent_BOY
Created: Mon Dec 11 00:20:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j0ohh/sometimes_im_not_sure_if_im_full_or_just_disgusted/
---
Like I'll often take just one bite of something only to realize that I physically can not eat anymore. Is this something everyone goes through? I can never tell if I'm full or if it's an emotional thing. This can last for days too. I'll go for a week just living off of apple sauce because I physically can not it. It makes my stomach feel all weird. Kinda like stress nausea. I don't think it has anything to do with my stomach shrinking either. I'm pretty on and off with food. I go through weeks of eating normally followed by a phase of beating myself up for eating normally and very rarely do I successfully restrict.
This feeling isn't even always during my bad spots. Usually I'll be doing fine until I suddenly can't eat anything. Is this like a thing? It's so weird.
[Rant/Rave] not good enough
/u/fortunate-foolx [62 in. | 217 lb | 39 | -13 | 18F]
Created: Sun Dec 10 23:47:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j0jm3/not_good_enough/
---
my bmi is too high and i binge too much on the weekends to be sick. i feel like a fake :/
[Discussion] What dumb shit has your SO said recently?
/u/CeciNestPasOP [5'8" | CW 120 | 18 | 22F]
Created: Sun Dec 10 22:59:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j0bso/what_dumb_shit_has_your_so_said_recently/
---
Here's mine!
Me: "You'd tell me if I was skinny in a scary way, right?"
Boyfriend, who has spent three months trying to convince me to gain twenty pounds: "Oh, don't worry, you could lose more and still be attractive. [Ex-girlfriend] was much thinner than you and she was pretty attractive."
I feel like that's an objectively dumb thing to say even if he didn't know I was anorexic ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
[Rant/Rave] ProEDers who have started recovery?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 10 22:57:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j0bec/proeders_who_have_started_recovery/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] How long is your average binge?
/u/iloveitosusumu [5'9 | CW160 | GW120 | BMI23.20 | 20F]
Created: Sun Dec 10 22:37:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j07bf/how_long_is_your_average_binge/
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Stuck so bad in one currently, 2500-3500 a day at 8 days now. Usually they last 2-3 days, but they're almost weekly anyway. How long are you personally stuck eating like a bottomless pit before you can damage control and get back to normal?
[Rant/Rave] Why is losing weight so much harder than gaining???
/u/finnkat
Created: Sun Dec 10 22:28:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j058c/why_is_losing_weight_so_much_harder_than_gaining/
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I've restricting to under 500kcal, usually intake is about 300kcal, and excercising at least 30 minutes everyday. Not much, but something. In 2 weeks I lost about 1.5 lbs. Then, one morning I woke up and felt horrible. My legs were giving out and i felt nauseous even though I hadn't eaten anything in almost 20 hours so I decided to take a little break for the day. Ate about 1000 calories, no excercise. Felt soooo much better, and then when i step on the scale the next morning....I gained 3 whole pounds!!!!!! How is that possible??? I was hoping it was just a brief thing but no, a few days later and the weight is all still there. It's so frustrating, how one bad day can ruin weeks of progress.
[Discussion] DAE feel like you have a bipolar disorder?
/u/idonthavea_cat
Created: Sun Dec 10 22:14:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7j0277/dae_feel_like_you_have_a_bipolar_disorder/
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And the ED and BP live and feed off themselves?
Or anything like this?
I always felt like my constant mood swings happened Bc of my ED but after doing some reading I feel like my ED actions could be a result of hypomania too..
I don't mean to be intrusive I'm genuinely curious. I set an appointment up for this week and I'm trying to get to see another psych so I'll see what my dr has to say.
On mobile and idk how to add flair
[Thinspo] progress/thinspo
/u/dyingtobepretty [5ft|94lbs|GW: 85lbs|F]
Created: Sun Dec 10 21:56:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7izxt7/progressthinspo/
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[removed]
2014 was supposed to be the year, then 2015, then 2016...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 10 21:43:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7izufk/2014_was_supposed_to_be_the_year_then_2015_then/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] In Recovery, Want to Safely Drop 10 Pounds
/u/doghouse1988 [62 in | 128 lb | 23.41 bmi | 120 gw1 | F | Recovering]
Created: Sun Dec 10 21:34:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7izsas/in_recovery_want_to_safely_drop_10_pounds/
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Hello friends. I have been in consistent recovery for two years now. Before that, I was bulimic for three years with a quick escalation towards constant binging and purging throughout the day. Because of the toll that purging was having on my body and my predisposition for high blood pressure, I was admitted to in-patient treatment and with many ups and downs and support have achieved a purge/binge-free lifestyle.
My typical cycle was as follows: Restrict intake, within 24-48 hours experience unbearable cravings. I love food, and that will always be the case. I also think that my body fights restriction extra hard, or maybe that is just me not caring enough to fight through the bouts of cravings. I have no interest in losing an excessive amount of weight. I have always hovered at about 125 lbs with a very muscular build. I think I probably look 125 lbs or a bit lower, although things like my high BMI cause me to question if I am being overly optimistic. Other times I feel like I look 140 lbs, which I consider to be the product of dysmorphia. If I am careless or spend a season choosing not to worry or think about food, I tend to get closer to 132/135. At my lowest, 116, I felt dizzy and exhausted, however, I was purging constantly.
I know that 120-125 is the weight that I feel best, the most energetic, and the most confident. Currently I believe I am at about 128-130 lb. However, I have always wanted to be 115, and feel that I would look my best at that weight, as I like a slimmer look and the feeling of my bones sticking out just a bit. I want to do this in a safe way that I don't have to completely deny myself the occasional splurge (#blendedicecoffeelove). I don't want to cause such extreme cravings that I end up just binging and feeling it necessary to purge to feel better.
I would love to hear from anyone in recovery who has successfully lost weight in a safe way or anyone in general regarding the content of this post. Maybe 115 isn't the right number for me, and I need to accept that. Or maybe I just was doing it in an uneducated way before. Or maybe I just don't have the grit to stick through the cravings.
lw/sw: See title.
[Rant/Rave] I'm an inch shorter than I thought I was.
/u/borntomeow [5'3" | SW: 188.3 | CW: 158 | GW: 110 | 23F]
Created: Sun Dec 10 21:33:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7izrzu/im_an_inch_shorter_than_i_thought_i_was/
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I've only had my height measured by other people before so I never got to see the exact measurement for myself. Well I decided to measure myself last night and found out that I'm just a teeny bit over 5'3 (my title is a lie it's more like 3/4 of an inch) instead of 5'4 like I always thought. This may not seem like much of a big deal, but you know how weird our brains are and height must be as accurate as possible when determining things like BMI or TDEE.
Pros:
* Shorter = tinier = cuter.
* I can lose slightly more weight without my BMI being too low.
Cons:
* My TDEE is lower than I thought it was.
* All my calculations for TDEE and exercise have been off for the past 5 months.
* My maintenance calories if/when it comes to that will be lower than I thought.
[Help] Freaking out
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 10 20:46:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7izirp/freaking_out/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] This may sound strange but does anyone else feel empowered when you're starving?
/u/confusedbutnoahoe
Created: Sun Dec 10 20:29:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7izfmt/this_may_sound_strange_but_does_anyone_else_feel/
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Sounds horrible but I feel great when I'm starving because to me it means I'm getting thinner in some sort of fashion. Lately though I eat once a day and I don't feel hungry or have any appetite. No desire for food whatsoever I could go all day without eating and be fine. This has been going on for about Two weeks now. It's making me feel like I'm not losing any weight.
[Help] Bronkaid (EC stack) while on Wellbutrin sr?
/u/coffeeanddietcokee [5'9'' | 137.3 | 20.? | GW5 135 | GW6 130]
Created: Sun Dec 10 20:24:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7izen8/bronkaid_ec_stack_while_on_wellbutrin_sr/
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I've read that it is not recommended to take both because it can increase your risk for seizures. but has anyone done it? are there any other side effect other than seizure/heart attack/the usual things listed on these products?
I started Wellbutrin in July and stopped EC stacking the day I started it. I haven't done it since then and I really want to because it helps me tremendously lose weight. ugh.
[Help] First EC(A?) stack tomorrow, would appreciate opinions.
/u/chicklet2011 [5'6" | 183# | ??% | GW 120# | F]
Created: Sun Dec 10 20:12:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7izc8c/first_eca_stack_tomorrow_would_appreciate_opinions/
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I've binged myself to over 180lbs/82kg. I gained 30lbs from stress eating this last semester. (I was perfect though. I made Valedictorian and got into law school. I just can't help myself from eating myself sick when I'm stressed.)
GW is 120lb/55kg. Want 60lbs to come off quickly, I want to be 120 by August. I figured that I might as well give the EC stack a try for finals week, I could use the extra energy.
I have Bronkaid. How much for a person my weight who has never stacked before? Aspirin, or no Aspirin?
[Help] Question for my fellow short folks!
/u/afraidofjudgement
Created: Sun Dec 10 20:00:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iz9ev/question_for_my_fellow_short_folks/
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How the fuck do you high restrict? I'm going to high restrict in order to cease my binging. The problem is I'm 4'9 and my BMR is 1150. I started getting more active about 1 1/2 weeks ago. I walk 2.0mph (basically fast walking for my tiny legs) for 60 minutes, 150 squats, 40 lunges, 20 pushups, and 2 sets of planks for 30 seconds on every side, everyday. Not to mention I'm on my feet for the majority of the day. Would you consider that lightly active? I'm still deciding if so.. If that's the case my tdee is 1500. I just find it so hard to eat 800-1500 calories in a day. I ate 1100 today and I'm struggling with the urge not to purge it. I just feel so guilty about it.
I know logically I don't think I can gain weight eating 1000 or so calories a day. But, I'm so used to 250-500. I'm just freaking out right now and really need some advice on this. I don't know what to do. I really don't want to maintain.. will I atleast loose at a snails pace? I'm so sorry if this is a stupid question. I never high restricted before. Either always low or a binge.
[Help] Looking for tips for quitting smoking for recovering anorexia
/u/witchhouseprincess
Created: Sun Dec 10 19:35:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iz1k7/looking_for_tips_for_quitting_smoking_for/
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I smoke a lot right now, so much my mom gets worried about me, I need a way to quit.
[Discussion] Thoughts on chewing and spitting?
/u/arandomnamebcimlazy
Created: Sun Dec 10 19:15:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iyx86/thoughts_on_chewing_and_spitting/
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I’ve considered trying it when I’m craving things, but don’t want the calories. Does it work?
[Help] Tips to stop a binge phase?
/u/Just-That-Other-Guy [5'11" | CW: 148 lbs | BMI: 20.6 | SW: 230 lbs | -82 lbs]
Created: Sun Dec 10 19:14:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iyx1v/tips_to_stop_a_binge_phase/
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I've been eating between 200 and 800 cal for the past couple months and have had very little appetite so it hasn't required much effort to maintain that until now. All of a sudden my appetite is ravenous for no apparent reason. I can't seem to stop binging. Any tips to break out of this cycle?
[Help] I NEED WARM LEGGINGS
/u/OMFGLDQ [👻5'3" | 92.8lbs | 16.89 | GW <90lbs | HW ~125lbs | 🍑omfgldq]
Created: Sun Dec 10 17:18:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iy2sv/i_need_warm_leggings/
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IDGAF about genders of clothing I need to be W A R M
I'm currently a blanket burrito in a normal temperature room
I take the bus to/from work, and I have up to a 45min layover OUTSIDE at an UNCOVERED stop and no matter how many jackets I put on, I can't keep my heat bc regular leggings + pants isn't enough to keep my legs warm anymore.
I can't put on 2 pairs of regular leggings bc it makes my intestines angry and crampy
I just want to find warm leggings that don't suck and aren't a terrible texture inside x.x fleece does weird shit with my leg hair lol
Edit: Thanks for all the responses, y'all. I'm having a very bad day and can't words very well or I'd respond to everyone. Sorry.
What triggered your most recent binge?
/u/kzxwy [5' 6" | CW: 129.0 | HW: 145.0 | GW: 115.0 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 10 17:12:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iy1gt/what_triggered_your_most_recent_binge/
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Mine was getting blackout drunk. I ate a pack of tuna and crackers, a cookie, leftover chicken wings, and a fruit cup.
I've been avoiding drinking but having trouble breaking out of this cycle now that it's started (again).
[Rant/Rave] Just a ramble
/u/villagethief
Created: Sun Dec 10 17:07:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iy01s/just_a_ramble/
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I’m laying in bed feeling horrible. Last time I checked my weight I was at 115, but because I’ve eaten so much I’m scared to see how much I’ve gained.
It’s so hard to restrict at home without my mom noticing. I usually say I feel sick or “I just ate.” My friends also always comment on how I never eat anything at school.
I keep thinking about how I’ve recovered from self harm, but honestly I think having disordered eating is worse sometimes.
[Help] Help me estimate this black bean sauce + noodles? I put it at 950 cal
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 10 16:42:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ixuqy/help_me_estimate_this_black_bean_sauce_noodles_i/
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https://i.redd.it/4pzgdgoll6301.jpg
[Help] Can someone ease my mind
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Sun Dec 10 15:50:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ixjb1/can_someone_ease_my_mind/
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I’ve been living off of zero calorie drinks- diet Dr Pepper, sugar free Powerade and sugar free monster.
They all say 0 cals but I am stressing bc 0 could really mean 4 (maybe even 5?)
So like the 24 fl oz sugar free monster w 3 zero calorie servings could potentially have 15 cals??
Does anyone else worry about this? I know it’s negligible but I’m fasting and the idea of ANY calories is driving me crazy
[Rant/Rave] How is it possible
/u/little-paws
Created: Sun Dec 10 15:04:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ix7um/how_is_it_possible/
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That I spend almost every waking moment thinking about food, obsessing over my weight and worrying about everything
Yet I am still so fucking fat
I could be doing something useful and productive but why do that when I can think about food instead
[Help] Pizza temptations
/u/Fantasisingfunerals [5’8 | 118 | BMI: 18.0 | 17F]
Created: Sun Dec 10 14:31:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iwxmn/pizza_temptations/
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Pls give me reasons not to order a vegetarian pizza tomorrow, I’m so tempted to especially since I read its 1,800 calories for the whole thing so it’s not even over a daily limit 😪
[Help] New here/need tips
/u/dreaminginscience
Created: Sun Dec 10 14:25:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iwvzo/new_hereneed_tips/
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Hi! Really happy to have found this community because I could really use it right now.
I’ll quickly introduce myself. I’m B, I’m a 23yo female, and I’ve battled bulimia for roughly 10 years now with brief periods of recovery.
November was a hard month for me because of the big FOOD holiday and since then I’ve been restricting/fasting a little more than usual. While I’m losing and happy about it, I’m definitely feeling more weak and sick than I’d like to be. I used to drink a fresh green juice every morning to keep my nutrients up, but I randomly developed an aversion and can’t even smell the juice without gagging. I have final exams this week and work is crazy busy around this time. So my question is, when you’re in the middle of fasting/heavy restricting, how do you stay feeling “healthy”? How do you keep your nutrient and energy levels up?
Thanks in advance, really happy to be here.
[Help] Anti-social and depressed after a couple days of EC stacking???
/u/demonofequality [5'5"| CW: 125 | GW: 115 | 21.05 | -25 lbs| F]
Created: Sun Dec 10 14:25:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iwvx9/antisocial_and_depressed_after_a_couple_days_of/
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I’ve done short cycles of EC stacking a number of times now, typically a week or two long. I do 12.5 mg E and 100 mg C plus my usual Coke Zero, twice a day.
The first three days are awesome, a little jittery but otherwise good. Day four or five rolls around and I start to lose the desire to talk and become moderately depressed. Day seven or eight I’m lost in my head and borderline suicidal.
At that point I cycle off.
I haven’t heard much about people experiencing depression while EC stacking so I’m not sure if this is common or if something else is going on with me.
Any suggestions on how I can avoid this???
[Help] How to fix stomach pains and nausea from restriction?
/u/uncommonlyaverage [5'3" | CW 110 | UGW 92 |19F]
Created: Sun Dec 10 14:20:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iwunl/how_to_fix_stomach_pains_and_nausea_from/
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(Kinda gross sorry)
I've been getting intense stomach pains from high restriction that make me super nauseous to the point that I vomit whatever is in my stomach or a lot of the time it's just bile. Is there anything I can do (other than eating more)? It's to the point that when I try to eat I just get sick and throw up, and I know I need to keep what I'm eating down.
[Other] I was lying to myself (word vomit/long)
/u/sorrycells [5'8" | OSFED | 24F]
Created: Sun Dec 10 13:46:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iwmj0/i_was_lying_to_myself_word_vomitlong/
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I’ve been lying to myself.
Years ago, I went through a really intense period of restriction. I got pretty damn low and probably should have been hospitalized, but I didn’t have anyone in my life that took it seriously or offered to help. Since then, it’s been years and years of severe binge eating behavior, cycles of losing and gaining weight. I kept trying to convince myself it wasn’t serious. If I wasn’t “dying” like I had been back then, this was just a miserable thing that destroyed my life. I kept thinking I could will it away; it would just disappear one day. I was constantly in “recovery” from that period of restriction, but totally depressed and hating my body as much as ever. I was powerless over food, and I was powerless over my failures.
It’s been slowly, *finally* hitting me… I never got over it. I went to a psychiatrist for the first time last week, and she diagnosed me EDNOS. Not BED. And when I relived my history with her and talked things over, I realized there were so many periods I was unconsciously restricting, overexercising, and then binge eating, all in various periods. It’s been this rollercoaster of hell for so many years. And the only thing I have to show for it now is being fat, and knowing I’ve lied to myself for so long. I was never recovered because I was weight restored. I tried but I couldn’t do it on my own. And the ED stuff is within me, hiding, changing my thoughts and actions. It's not my past. It's still my present.
I found out I’ve been severely clinically depressed — which I knew, it just sounded different coming from someone else’s mouth. I haven’t binge eaten in a week now, which is a huge thing for me. But yesterday I was having a big urge, and I sat with it. It was fucking miserable. It was hell. All this shit washed over me, and I laid in bed and stared at the ceiling for an hour crying, my eyes not focusing. I just felt all of it. How fucking lonely I am, how I’m unhappy with my life, how I’ve accomplished nothing and keep failing at everything I try. How I’ve been haunted by my eating disorder for years, and I can’t remember life without it anymore. How I don’t know if I’ll ever be free, and how I don’t know how to escape. How I don’t enjoy anything, everything is boring and all of my future job prospects sound suffocating. How the only option in my future is more unhappiness. The recognition of how long it’ll take me to climb out of this hole I’m in. It was brutal.
Before, I’d have binged and I wouldn’t feel any of that. I’d zone out on the food and the television. I’d feel guilty and bad and disgusting, but I wouldn’t feel *that*. Or on the other end, I’d exercise hard and blast music to drown out any of my thoughts. I was faced with the reality, and I understand why I have the eating disorder now.
I’ve felt all those things for so long, the deep unhappiness, but the eating disorder allowed me to find a way to distract myself. To push back against the hopeless thoughts. At first it was a way to get closer to death, and then became a distraction from which how much better I think death would be, sometimes. All the binge eating allowed me not to feel the discomfort; to become numb for a little while against the reality. And the restriction was always an act of anger, hatred of myself, and desperation. I’ve been trying to grasp at something, anything, so I don’t have to deal with the way I feel about life. So I guess I have to change my reality.
I don’t know how to do that yet.
[Rant/Rave] Feeling defeated
/u/unpollutedfantasy [🥒]
Created: Sun Dec 10 13:32:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iwjii/feeling_defeated/
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I really feel like I failed yesterday.
After almost 2 weeks of being under 1000 calories & 18 days purge free I finally broke.
I just knew I was going to binge and I was crying before I’d even done anything because I knew I’d have to purge after going so long without. I cried even though nothing had happened yet which is really stupid, my day was still salvageable, yet I cried as if it was already done.
Today is a new day, but I’m just feeling really defeated. I feel that because I B/Ped yesterday what’s stopping me from doing it again. When will my next binge be? Today, tomorrow, a week? I can just feel the impending doom of a binge that hasn’t even happened yet.
And I just feel so stupid because my life is just full of stress from things that haven’t even happened, things that are seemingly in my control
[Help] „Ana buddy” (or whatever it’s called) needed!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 10 13:07:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iwdg2/ana_buddy_or_whatever_its_called_needed/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iwdg2/ana_buddy_or_whatever_its_called_needed/
[Discussion] DAE feel triggered by inanimate objects/places...?
/u/wildemode [5'3" | CW: 99.0 | 28F]
Created: Sun Dec 10 12:49:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iw967/dae_feel_triggered_by_inanimate_objectsplaces/
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For example - I just recently moved to a new apartment building and the stairwells are really narrow. When I walk up & down the stairs carrying things sometimes I bump into either the wall or the railing and it makes me feel HUGE & ungainly. I know that's insane but it's really triggering for me.
I'm similarly triggered by the new office chairs at work that are smaller/more narrow than our old ones. I feel enormous in them now.
Can anyone relate?
\#justedthings
[Discussion] DAE else have days where they can eat normally?
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5'4" | 120 | 20.54| GW: 115 | NB]
Created: Sun Dec 10 12:48:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iw8xo/dae_else_have_days_where_they_can_eat_normally/
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Sometimes I can eat 'normally'/ over my restriction limit and not really freak out, I count the calories in the back of my head but it makes me feel like such a fake :( does anyone else go through this?
[Rant/Rave] Two bags of salt
/u/FlabbyWhiteThighs [5'4"|116.8lb|22F]
Created: Sun Dec 10 12:39:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iw6v8/two_bags_of_salt/
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My husband knows I've been working hard to lose weight and has been encouraging me along the way and celebrating my victories with me. He knows about my disordered past, but he also knows I'm doing it the "healthy way" this time around.
Yesterday, I ran to a yoga class a mile and a half away and then ran back home, even though it was freezing out. My husband gets out of bed after I get home, and tells me how impressed he is that I worked out so early on a Saturday. He's in the bathroom when I step on the scale and I let out a groan. He asks me what the groan's for and I tell him the truth - I weigh a pound heavier than I did yesterday.
He says, exasperatedly, "you can poop out a pound. It's not like it matters. You weigh, like, two bags of salt." I don't say anything because I don't have much experience with bags of salt. He clarifies, "a bag of salt is 50 pounds."
"I'm 117, not 100!" I protest, but he kind of shrugs it off. I know he could tell I was being irrational, but I couldn't help but feel oddly satisfied, even elated that he estimated me at 100 pounds. I've been putting on muscle so I'm not seeing much of a change on the scale, but that made me feel like I was on a high for the rest of the day.
After losing almost ten pounds, comments like this are what I've been waiting for. God, I missed it. I want to keep going.
[Other] New perspective on water weight!
/u/sugar-free_sam
Created: Sun Dec 10 12:04:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ivy7z/new_perspective_on_water_weight/
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Since I (and many of us) absolutely live or die by the number on the scale, I thought I’d share some info on water weight I hadn’t heard before. Here’s to logical brain > stupidly volatile number! (Right. Riiiiight. That’ll happen.)
https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/4hq7e8/gut_water_i_had_a_little_revelation_about/
Looks really science-y at the beginning, but it’s written in simple terms :).
[Rant/Rave] BF just said I’m looking slim!!!
/u/emmylou_lou
Created: Sun Dec 10 11:44:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ivsgw/bf_just_said_im_looking_slim/
---
So I don’t know how much I weigh (last month I was 120), but everyday this week I’ve been eating between 500 and 1,000 cal, except for yesterday I broke down and made sugar cookies but luckily I started to feel ill after 500 calories worth, putting me at 1400 for the day and my TDEE is 1600 so it wasn’t a huge loss.
This morning I was getting dressed and I was looking for my baggy sweater because I feel like such a fat fuck, and my bf told me that I’m looking slimmer! I don’t fucking see it and I’m scared that I’ll be over 120 if I weigh myself tomorrow morning. But at the same time, he’s kinda oblivious and if he sees weight loss maybe I’ve actually lost! Idk I’m like having a panic attack about it. Because what if he’s just saying that to make me feel better because I’m actually fatter than before. Ugh. BDD fucking sucks.
PSA: SALT WATER FLUSH > SMOOTH MOVE TEA
/u/Cirrocumulus_
Created: Sun Dec 10 11:38:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ivqkn/psa_salt_water_flush_smooth_move_tea/
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[removed]
[Other] Pinterest is mocking me....
/u/mace__face [5'6 | CW:112 | BMI:18.08 | GW:108 | F -16lbs]
Created: Sun Dec 10 11:04:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ivglq/pinterest_is_mocking_me/
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https://i.redd.it/z3jblovcx4301.jpg
[Help] When feeling full is triggering...how do you cope?
/u/themclavicles [173cm | CW 127 | GW 118 | 18.8 | 23F]
Created: Sun Dec 10 10:42:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ivbkf/when_feeling_full_is_triggeringhow_do_you_cope/
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How do all of you all cope when you feel full from a healthy and relatively moderate calorie level meal? I feel both satisfied and disgusted at the same time. And it really wasn't anything like a crazed binge.
I've been trying to eat normally again so it was like 2.5 cups of roasted cauliflower with very little oil used and about a 1/2 cup of shredded chicken breast. I'm full but not stuffed, but the guilt is still there. Recovery is mentally uplifting and stressful at the same time, I can only handle so much...
[Discussion] Menstrators of proED: describe your diet while on your period
/u/dbt-girl [5'2" | 119 ]
Created: Sun Dec 10 10:30:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iv8r9/menstrators_of_proed_describe_your_diet_while_on/
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Yeah, you see what I did there? I completely avoided gender. Yeeee. Cause we’ve got men and others among us, fighting the good fight, and we can’t pretend they don’t exist.
Anyway, so those of you who do get your period, what’s that like for you?
I always think, “oooo, I’m burning the extra calories! Now is a great time to restrict and drop faster!”
Yeah no. Brb franch fries.
[Discussion] December 10th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 10 09:12:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iur7q/december_10th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What surprised you today?
[Discussion] DAE find posts like this sickening and cringy? I fucking do
/u/yungbrrrat [5'8 | 16F | OSFED]
Created: Sun Dec 10 08:52:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iumlh/dae_find_posts_like_this_sickening_and_cringy_i/
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https://i.redd.it/cpe5llos94301.jpg
[Rant/Rave] slipping - a little rant
/u/peace-and-bong-life
Created: Sun Dec 10 08:45:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iuklb/slipping_a_little_rant/
---
I had been pretty much recovered for years... I'd say like 4 years of just eating normally and living my life. Until recently, when losing a bit of weight by accident triggered me. I weighed myself the other day and I've gone down from like 61kg to 53kg in the past few months. At 164cm that's going from a BMI of 22.7 to 19.7, which I'm kind of happy with. I'm starting to be able to feel my bones under the layers of flesh which of course makes me happy... but also triggers me. When do I stop? I know, logically, that I can't lose all the weight I want to lose without being miserable and ill but I don't want to stop losing weight until those bones stick out "enough" - and I know, from the past, that there is no such thing as enough. I will never be thin enough or "good" enough. But my brain is trying to deceive me into thinking I can just keep losing a little more weight... and a little more... without actually having an ED. It's a little like watching a slow-motion car crash, but instead of watching in horror I'm watching in delight.
[Rant/Rave] Sorry I post all the time- this is just the only place I’m understood ~back on track~
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Sun Dec 10 08:42:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iujxy/sorry_i_post_all_the_time_this_is_just_the_only/
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If anyone has seen any of my posts lately (there’s been a lot 😂), last week was a binge week for me. It wasn’t too horrible but I don’t track binge cals so I don’t know for sure, but i only eat once a day so it could have been worse. Anyways, as a result I was 6lbs up.
Now after 60ish hours of fasting I am back under 110!!!! I am for sure going to make it to 72 hours and possibly still have to use the restroom so I’m hoping it goes lower when I check tonight.
Feels really good to be empty and light again, and I’m motivated to keep this going.
My only struggle is once the week starts I start drinking every night which leads to me eating and fucking up my progress 😬
But maybe if I keep up a weekly 72 hour fast- which isn’t hard given I work 13 hour shifts I think I can at least maintain until I get my social life under control 😊😊😊
[Rant/Rave] Big, long, sad, depressing rant...
/u/Just-That-Other-Guy [5'11" | CW: 148 lbs | BMI: 20.6 | SW: 230 lbs | -82 lbs]
Created: Sun Dec 10 08:06:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iucx8/big_long_sad_depressing_rant/
---
I have severe mental health issues. I have suicidal depressive states and experience bouts of psychosis that can make functioning in society impossible at times. I have this eating disorder that no matter how hard I try or how far I think I've come in recovery I can't seem to beat. I keep trying to beat It on my own. I'm learning that doing so is going to be impossible. But I can't get the treatment I need because I can't afford it. I make very little and have lived the past few years without health insurance because I was unable to afford it and my state did not expand Medicaid. I don't qualify for Medicaid but don't make enough to qualify for ACA subsidies. Here the only people who qualify are single moms, the pregnant, and those on disability. Even though I meet the qualifications to be considered legally disabled I can't receive disability payments because my work history is too sporadic from my disability's impact on my life to qualify for it.
I have roughly $20k in medical debt. I would go into further debt to treat my ED if I could but it's not bad enough that they would let me in without insurance or payment first. I feel like I'm caught between wanting to try and recover and feeling like I have to keep making myself sicker to be able to get the help I need. And I don't know which is the right choice. I know a lot of you can relate to the 'not sick enough' feeling. It makes things harder when I try to recover. Why recover when it's not even bad enough to deserve help? Why recover when it's not life threatening yet? I've become very disillusioned with the American healthcare system. All of this shit I'm dealing with is nothing compared to what my fiance is dealing with.
He's diabetic and for years was unable to properly treat it. This has lead to multiple complications that continue to grow worse and are disabling him. He was unable to get treatment in the early stages of an ulcer on his toe due to not having insurance and not being able to afford it. The infection got so bad that it went into the bone and he had to have the toe amputated or he risked dying. That's the thing about American medicine. If you need something to treat a problem before it's life threatening but you can't afford it, well fuck you very much. They don't have to treat you. Doesn't matter that it will cost them more in the long run when you still can't afford to pay for it but they have to treat it because it's life threatening. The fact that they are required to treat life threatening issues is a welcome change of pace from the typical 'go fuck yourself' stance but can often be too little too late for those that must take advantage of it and it often leaves you crippled and with inescapable debt where earlier treatment of the problem can reduce both of those issues.
He has been trying to get on disability for the past 3 years. He keeps getting denied for completely unacceptable reasons. His eyesight is so bad he is for all functional intents and purposes blind which prevents him from being able to drive (there is no public transportation here and you can't hold a job if you have no way to get to one), he can't walk more than short distances or stand for long due to the amputation, and he only has full use of one of his arms (which he is slowly losing because, again, can't afford treatment) yet somehow they think there is some job out there in existence that he can do with one arm so they deny him. He became this disabled by not being able to afford healthcare and trying to manage diabetes without insurance, making doctors visits and all medication but insulin a luxury rarely afforded. The saddest part? If he does end up going blind he'll immediately get approved for disability and therefore receive the Medicaid that if he had now could save his eyes.
My boyfriend is going completely blind because we can't afford the surgery to save his eyes. Those are words I never thought I would hear myself say. Every day I watch his already poor eyesight dwindle even closer to nothing. Not life threatening, therefore no one has to do anything about it. What he needs to get his eyesight back to normal is a surgery to cauterize a bleed in his eye and lasik to repair his vision. But estimated costs of that could be as high as $10k and I barely make that a year, let alone am I able to pay it up front all at once. What he needs to keep use of both arms is to have regular physical therapy. But that would be anywhere from $50-$100 a visit with insurance and your guess is as good as mine on what it is without it. His amputated toe is getting infected again. He could lose more of his foot. It could continue spreading until he's lost his entire leg. I'm watching the person I love's health fall apart and I am powerless to do anything to stop it.
He could be a fully functional member of society with simple healthcare that we have no access to but instead he is reduced to being unable to work and, if disability ever does get approved, relying on the government to survive. He's paid into social security his entire adult working life but when he needs it, it does not come through for him. This is not right.
If you would have told my younger self that this is the America I would have to grow up in I wouldn't have believed you. America's too great to let something like that happen, right? America's too prosperous. We're a medical marvel. People come from all over the world to use our medical system. When people need help, they get it. Right? But now I find myself wishing there was just someone out there to help us. To help us save my boyfriend's eyesight. Help us save his foot, ankle, leg, from being amputated. But in all the avenues I seek I keep getting the same reply. There is no help for you here. When we are left legitimately considering whether it is in our best interest to commit a crime because criminals get better healthcare than we can get you know things have really gone off the rails.
[Discussion] I just realized I have never had a dream about my eating disorder?! Anyone else?
/u/skydiver89 [skinny fat AF at 5'4" and 140 lbs]
Created: Sun Dec 10 07:57:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iub6l/i_just_realized_i_have_never_had_a_dream_about_my/
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As much as my eating disorder controls my life, I have come to realize I have never had a dream about eating or disordered eating. Never. I have dreams of my self harm, running from the cops (lol, I've never even done this in my life!) and flying.
Has anyone else never had a dream about their ED?
[Other] I started a collection of low calorie snack ideas in my bullet journal. Got any ideas on what to add to the list?
/u/PM_M3_UR_SECRETS [163cm | CW 60kg | GW 50kg | HW 80kg]
Created: Sun Dec 10 07:57:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iub3n/i_started_a_collection_of_low_calorie_snack_ideas/
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https://i.imgur.com/TWpHREz.jpg
I started a collection of low calorie snack ideas in my bullet journal. Got any ideas on what to add to the list?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 10 07:56:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iuawz/i_started_a_collection_of_low_calorie_snack_ideas/
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https://imgur.com/a/kyE3A
[Other] Progress pic in the form of art progress. Anorexia Lies !!
/u/bagelzboi [5'3 | CW:85bs | GW: 13.5 BMI | 21F]
Created: Sun Dec 10 07:52:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iua77/progress_pic_in_the_form_of_art_progress_anorexia/
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https://i.redd.it/xbjnxvwwy3301.png
[Discussion] Exercise
/u/Clev3rgirl84
Created: Sun Dec 10 07:52:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iua53/exercise/
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What exercise is everyone doing...
I’m skinny fat, I think this is because I’m lazy and do zero exercise I have anxiety so the gym isn’t the best for me, I don’t mind spinning as it’s in a dark room.
Anybody used home work ours or have tips how to stick to doing it
Xx
[Rant/Rave] Feeling a little lonely atm
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 60.9 kg | BMI: 22.6 | -22.6 kg | 21F]
Created: Sun Dec 10 07:46:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iu99r/feeling_a_little_lonely_atm/
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Not really ED related but you know...
On friday my gallbladder got removed and everything went fine! I actuslly did good with eating...or better said: I'm even restricting in the hostpital.
But right now I feel a little lost. As of now I'm alone in the room and there will probably be another patient sharing this room later but not now. I don't know where this creepy feeling of being abandoned comes from but it's kind of there. Probably because it's a stupid hospital! I'm getting out tomorrow...my parents came to visit each day and even my aunt and a friend came yesterday! And it's really a short stay here. But I still feel a little lonely. This situation is like the embodiment of me feeling left alone with all my struggles. Everyone is going on with their lives and I'm stuck at the same place.
What's more, I'm mentally and physically exhausted and right now instead of studying for the uni course I NEED to pass I'm procrastinating.
Why am I like this? I feel like crying but that would be too embarrassing for me if the nurse came in.
[Rant/Rave] Feeling a little loney atm
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 10 07:46:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iu93z/feeling_a_little_loney_atm/
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[deleted]
[Other] [Rave] 5:2 diet but the other way around
/u/sicksadcook [162| 48.9 |19.03 | GW47 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 10 06:52:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7itzvg/rave_52_diet_but_the_other_way_around/
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Since a while I fast/heavy restrict on at least 5days a week and eat normally on the last two days (usually on a weekend) and it really goes well.
Somehow it feels reassuring that I can eat whatever I want at the end of the week and helps a lot with not going overboard with bingeing.
[Other] Cried on public transport today!
/u/goddamnroommate [🍑: goddamnroommate | 5'6" | 24.94 | GW 128]
Created: Sun Dec 10 05:49:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7itqm2/cried_on_public_transport_today/
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But don’t worry, I’m really good at crying silently and motionlessly so no one saw (fucked up childhood comes in handy!!)
Idk, I was just sitting there looking out the bus window and it hit me that I’m not in control of this thing and I can’t just stop. It’s my third week back now from relapsing, and for the first week and a half I really had it in my head that if I wanted to go back to normal eating habits, I totally could. But I was sitting at the window wanting to reach out to a friend and realizing I didn’t really have anyone I could trust it with. Then immediately, my ed brain kicks in and basically forbids any sort of seeking help until I look like I deserve help.
It made me so sad. Because my current bf really helped me through trying to be normal. I feel like I’ve really failed him. Like I’m more guilty about that than the fact that I’ve only given my body 580c today.
I’m sad and ashamed that I’ve relapsed and I couldn’t bear it if he found out that I’d failed like this.
It was also a rainy evening so that really set the mood.
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! December 10, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Dec 10 05:11:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7itlko/daily_food_diary_december_10_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 10, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your favorite recipes!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Dec 10 05:10:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7itlj6/sunday_share_your_favorite_recipes/
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Looking for memes? [Right this way~](/r/ProEDmemes)!
[Goal] My main motivation at the moment
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 10 04:27:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7itg6g/my_main_motivation_at_the_moment/
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[deleted]
[Other] How did your eating disorder/disordered eating develop?
/u/littleavo
Created: Sun Dec 10 03:21:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7it8ma/how_did_your_eating_disorderdisordered_eating/
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I find it very interesting to hear different people's stories?
[Rant/Rave] Alcohol feels so good but I practically have to eat to deal wth the hangover :/
/u/IsAFailure [M 5'6 | CW: 118lbs | GW: Whatever it takes to like what I see]
Created: Sun Dec 10 01:37:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7isx0m/alcohol_feels_so_good_but_i_practically_have_to/
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Source: Am drunk, worried about eating too much tomorrow morning, especially since I work at 11am...
[Help] Throwing up some kind of lining while purging?
/u/iceleo
Created: Sun Dec 10 01:07:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7isrmf/throwing_up_some_kind_of_lining_while_purging/
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I was purging after eating a meal at around 1-2 AM. I was mostly finished when I noticed this chunks of odd tissue material come up. It was smooth and pink but there wasn't much blood or barely any. I've literally never had this happen before and I am really freaks out?
I honestly cannot find any reasonable explanation as to why or what it is.
Has anyone had this happen or possible know what this could be?
Thanks :o
[Rant/Rave] Get sicker to get better
/u/knockofftoothpaste [166cm | 95.3 | 15.8 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 10 01:02:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7isqyv/get_sicker_to_get_better/
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i am so sick of fighting with my eating but i am so entrenched in it. I've been dealing with an eating disorder for almost 10 years. Nearly half my life. I am the sickest I have ever been and my body and mind are done.
The problem is that I am too scared to reach out for help by myself.
I stand on the train instead of sitting in hopes that I might faint and that means being sent to the hospital and having a doctor tell me I need to get help.
I have lost a decent amount of weight since the summer, when I last saw my extended family so, maybe this christmas someone will tell my Mom that I look unhealthy and that I need to get help.
I almost want to have a seizure so that I will have a reason to go to my family doctor and tell them what has been going on.
I don't know if this makes any sense. I want help. I want to get better but I don't know how to ask for it and I feel like it's not that bad unless someone else is saying that it is.
[Intro] I love you guys
/u/buddyflies
Created: Sun Dec 10 00:55:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7isq4w/i_love_you_guys/
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I haven't posted in this sub before but omg I love you all so much. I love that there's somewhere I don't feel like a complete freak for my weird food rituals and that you all get the same anxieties as me surrounding food and other people. I feel like you guys give me a safe space to feel at home.
I flaired as intro, so I guess I should do that! I'm 23 and I've been stuck in the restrict, binge, b/p for around 10 years. I keep trying to get into recovery but then I start restricting and it feels too good!
Anyway, I'm a bit tipsy and I love you guys, I hope that one day we can all love ourselves too.
❤️❤️❤️
Cleaning up the wrappers from your binge
/u/definitely-not-julie
Created: Sun Dec 10 00:39:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7isob9/cleaning_up_the_wrappers_from_your_binge/
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https://imgur.com/a/VlVSa
[Rant/Rave] Most of my life is good why does when piece of bad news throw me off
/u/325896471
Created: Sat Dec 9 23:17:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iscmv/most_of_my_life_is_good_why_does_when_piece_of/
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Interview rejection. Do i eat whatever i want now? So i can't even get a fucking place am i allowed to get what food i want. Or fuck it why would i eat now I'll just hate myself more. Worst thing is its my personality that fucked me over so not like any of this will even change it or i don't know.
It's not who called me's decision and "don't give up there's more spots coming up" but the fact that I'm crying right now kind of shows that I'm pathetic and already have
[Discussion] Titles are hard to think of
/u/oFILo
Created: Sat Dec 9 22:44:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7is6jv/titles_are_hard_to_think_of/
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Do you ever have those moments when you are having so much fun your fucked up ed mind is nothing more than a whisper and you feel fuvking normal for once I just did this and probs mindlessly ate like 700 cals with chtistmas can't and Belgian waffle so tomorrow imma fast
[Rant/Rave] Should definitely not, but might as well
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Sat Dec 9 21:13:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7irrn9/should_definitely_not_but_might_as_well/
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I should definitely not order pizza and wine right now, but I’m probably going to anyway because I suck.
[Help] Does anybody keep an ED bullet journal? I wanna see them
/u/Petite-Fee
Created: Sat Dec 9 21:01:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7irpg4/does_anybody_keep_an_ed_bullet_journal_i_wanna/
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I’m planning to start one tmrw but I’ve never billet journaled before! I’d love to see your spreads if you’ve got em
[Rant/Rave] Maintenance is worse than restriction or bingeing
/u/AnaWahad [174 cm | CW 80 | HW 100kg | GW 50kg | F | 🍑 Kelkein]
Created: Sat Dec 9 21:00:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7irpba/maintenance_is_worse_than_restriction_or_bingeing/
---
Today, I decided to eat at maintenance because I started having crazy cravings and I knew I'd binge if I'd kept restricting.
And I swear to god this shit is so damn harder on me than either restriction or bingeing.
It's like I feel this intense self-hatred because I'm not resticting like I should've and, at the same time, I'm trying to keep myself from bingeing because I think it'd make me feel better.
It's just so hard and I know that in the long-term it'd pay off but it's just so hard I want to cry fuck maintenance.
[Discussion] What are some non number related weight loss goals you have?
/u/Petite-Fee
Created: Sat Dec 9 21:00:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7irp9q/what_are_some_non_number_related_weight_loss/
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I want to be able to wear a miniskirt and just have my legs look like tooth picks, straight up and down.
I also want to have abs but I’m not gonna get those through weight loss only
[Discussion] DAE lurk on gonewild in a nonsexual way because there are so many beautiful tiny women on there?
/u/veganbutter99 [5'1" | CW 133lbs I GW 120lbs I HW 190lbs]
Created: Sat Dec 9 20:58:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7irowh/dae_lurk_on_gonewild_in_a_nonsexual_way_because/
---
Gonewild is my #1 source of thinspo honestly. How can all of these normal girls deal with living life and having a nice body and im just a potato.
[Discussion] does anyone else go to the grocery store or a bakery and just... not buy anything
/u/shiraruru
Created: Sat Dec 9 20:39:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7irlno/does_anyone_else_go_to_the_grocery_store_or_a/
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i like heading to stores that sell snacks/foods and just looking at the products with vigorous longing. if not then i'm checking calorie counts like there's no tomorrow but still not buying anything. maybe i'll add it to my grocery list the next time i drop by if it's safe enough, but i don't buy anything.
its basically window shopping? thing is i actually get EXCITED and anticipate going down to the local grocery just to look at stuff. and it's also the perfect time killer when i'm waiting for a friend, not that i'd ever tell them i do this, hah.
i dunno. it's something i do regularly.
in fact, i'm doing it right now. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
EDIT: didn't want to make a separate post yet but does anyone have any recommendations for low cal instant noodles? having trouble finding those (because they probably don't exist) but a girl can hope.
[Rant/Rave] This ruined my whole day yesterday.
/u/sugarplumfairy22 [ 5’7’’| CW:114 | 17.7 | -156 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 9 20:34:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7irkto/this_ruined_my_whole_day_yesterday/
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I’ve been using coconut flour in my mug cakes and I love it. I was at Meijer the other night in the baking aisle and found a bag of banana flour and was ECSTATIC when I saw it was only 26 cal for an entire quarter cup! I thought “that sounds too good to be true, but think of the glorious mug cake I could make with that!!”. So I bought it and decided to make a mug cake for breakfast yesterday. After eating the whole thing and once again thinking that it was too good to be true I decided to do some more research and found that the company website lists different nutrition facts and it was ACTUALLY 96 cal per quarter cup. Which still isn’t horrible, but it ruined my whole day of planning and made me angry! So long story short, if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is😏
[Rant/Rave] Life update from a lurker
/u/kanzii
Created: Sat Dec 9 20:20:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iri5i/life_update_from_a_lurker/
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I chose to go to counselling earlier this year. It felt childish. They treated me like a kid. I did try to recover and it just felt like an excuse to get fat and only eat junk food :(
My LDR bf is visiting in 18 days and I feel like I look disgusting. My weight has just sat in the same spot from before when I fasted and I'm disappointed that I stopped. I want to fall back into the comfort of my eds arms. 'Recovery' has felt stupid and pointless and all I want to be is skinny.
Soo... I'm back. I deleted peach and left the discord server when I started going to counselling and I only typically lurk the subreddit. I missed you all a lot :) I hope your December is going well!
Probably going to try to do a liquid-only fast for a few days. I find that when I don't eat I turn into a super bland person and I hate that because it worries my friends :( I'm hoping that drinking calories will provide me with a bit more while still being less calories than a meal. Thoughts?
Time to restart
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Dec 9 20:09:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7irg8k/time_to_restart/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] App recommendations?
/u/Crossyourheartx
Created: Sat Dec 9 20:04:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7irfex/app_recommendations/
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Hey, I've been lurking here for quite a while. I've decided to get back into the grind of working out and restricting. I was wondering what tracking apps, meal plan apps, exercise apps, y'all use? I've got a lot of work ahead of me...
[Discussion] December 8th and 9th Questions of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 9 19:45:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7irbn0/december_8th_and_9th_questions_of_the_day/
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(Ugh sorry)
8th: how ambitious do you feel today?
9th: what is your most recent act of generosity?
[Rant/Rave] PSA: You can't target weight loss.
/u/Smaylin [5'4.5" | 109lbs | 18.35 | GW: 98lbs | F]
Created: Sat Dec 9 19:33:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ir9lr/psa_you_cant_target_weight_loss/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] FML
/u/curtis_the_caveman
Created: Sat Dec 9 19:08:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ir4um/fml/
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I didn't want to binge so I just chugged an entire 2 litre bottle of diet pepsi... fml :)
[Discussion] Anyone else snowed in and binge eating?
/u/dhwkdjxjs
Created: Sat Dec 9 18:20:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iqw0o/anyone_else_snowed_in_and_binge_eating/
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I feel like one of those fat squirrels that hibernate in the winter
[Discussion] what's your biggest whoosh been?
/u/4amthunderstorm
Created: Sat Dec 9 18:14:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iquuk/whats_your_biggest_whoosh_been/
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zzz i've been eating a deficit of 500-1000 calories nearly ever day for a month and walking 2-6 hours every day (...any one else addicted to walking??) anyway, my clothes all fit looser, my face is slimmer so I'm praying for a whoosh soon. tell me your success stories so i don't throw in the towel and binge ('cause seriously, a month with only 1lb loss??)
[Goal] Dream clothes goal!
/u/tenshimei [180cm | CW 176 | GW 140 | UGW 120 | 18F]
Created: Sat Dec 9 17:33:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iqmmi/dream_clothes_goal/
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I've never made a post myself on here but I'm so over the moon about this that it seemed to warrant it!!
For the first time in nearly 3 years (I've grown like 5 cm since then so I allow myself a bit of leeway) I've been able to button up my favourite skirt!!! I was used to zipping up halfway, or using a rubber band to 'button' it up like a fucking pregnant woman. Stuff like this really gives me the confirmation that I'm actually getting smaller and will be able to fit into more clothes (which is really hard because of my height!)
Do you guys have any dream clothes that are a goal to fit in to?
[Other] therapist said to celebrate the small victories ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
/u/i-rate [5'5 | 120 | 20.63I | 21.2 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 9 16:23:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iq7vg/therapist_said_to_celebrate_the_small_victories_ツ/
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https://i.redd.it/ss1x3y2edz201.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Really in my feelings right now and feeling pathetic. My main “thinspo” is my niece and sometimes I actually find myself feeling jealous of her. I realize I’m being stupid but I can’t help but feel that way.
/u/urbbymuva
Created: Sat Dec 9 16:15:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iq65c/really_in_my_feelings_right_now_and_feeling/
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[Help] I gained 5 pounds in a day?! how to restrict during finals?
/u/z4ynmalik [5'3 | CW: 111 | GW: 95 🌻]
Created: Sat Dec 9 16:13:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iq5r1/i_gained_5_pounds_in_a_day_how_to_restrict_during/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Lol guess who forgot they where fasting and ate jelly tots
/u/vaguly-french-girl
Created: Sat Dec 9 16:08:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iq4ok/lol_guess_who_forgot_they_where_fasting_and_ate/
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This girl!!
Hahahhahahahah kill me
Now I just lotta fast longer and harder.
It’s fucking winter and Christmas time makes it so hard to restrict. I’m almost considering maintaining till Christmas is over but the idea of eating over 1000 calories a day makes me want to cry a little bit
[Discussion] Does anyone here keep a bullet journal? Do you have any ideas for cute pages for ed type stuff?
/u/married_to_a_reddito
Created: Sat Dec 9 15:34:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ipxes/does_anyone_here_keep_a_bullet_journal_do_you/
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Pages for things to track, etc.? I am starting a bullet journal and I don't know what to include.
[Other] (TW) Purged until I saw blood
/u/oneblueboot [5'8" | CW 135 lbs | GW 120 | 20.5 | 26 F]
Created: Sat Dec 9 15:32:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ipx0e/tw_purged_until_i_saw_blood/
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This is the most ashamed I’ve been since I relapsed back into my ED. I had a bad mini binge last night but I kept it down and promised myself I’d do better today. So of course I wake up and immediately make ramen and scarf it down along with two Fiber One brownies and what must have been at least a half a cup of fat free Cool Whip I still haven’t been smart enough to remove from my freezer. Tried so hard to just let it go and forgive myself, but I couldn’t stop obsessing over how much better I would feel once I got it out of me.
I chugged water, purged out as much as I could, chugged more water, purged again, on and on for forty minutes. I swear to God, I’ve never been much of a compulsive purger but I felt like I was possessed in a way I can’t really describe. Just one more good heave, no wait, just two more, just one more cup of water to break the rest of it up inside me and then I’ll purge the last bit and I’ll be done.
It just wouldn’t end, I could still feel it inside my stomach, I kept going. I couldn’t bring myself to stop until I saw spots of blood in the toilet.
I feel so dizzy, my chest hurts, my throat hurts. And I know there’s still more left in my stomach, and it’s everything I have not to go back into the bathroom and get the rest.
What the fuck is happening to me, why can’t I just be strong and not eat? I was doing so well with restriction, didn’t ever need to purge at all, now I feel like everything is collapsing and all of my hard work is going to ruin. My boyfriend knows I’ve been restricting but this is something I can’t confess to him. I’m so disgusted with myself.
[Discussion] "Flaws" you're trying to compensate for?
/u/tinyshisa [5'10 | 149.6lbs | -13.2 | 27F 🌸]
Created: Sat Dec 9 15:23:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ipv6s/flaws_youre_trying_to_compensate_for/
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Curious if anyone else has physical flaws that they try to make up for by losing weight. I have always disliked my face in general, particularly my uneven eyelids and slightly crooked teeth. I feel like somehow I can distract from my problem areas by being extremely thin.
[Help] how do i eat carbs/low cal carbs again?
/u/RiblessDicloxacillin
Created: Sat Dec 9 15:13:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ipt3f/how_do_i_eat_carbslow_cal_carbs_again/
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ive been eating keto/low carb for so long that i no longer know how to actually eat carbs in moderation. i'm breastfeeding right now though and the hunger / cravings are worse than i could have ever imagined, and eating keto isn't just ideal for me because it puts you into "nutritional starvation" and i'm unable to restrict because my body is just ALWAYS hungry. it is unending. i end up just b/ping like 3-4 times a day. i have never felt hunger like this even when fasting and it just won't die.
anyway i want to add some regular carbohydrate foods and low calorie carbohydrate foods to my diet now in the hopes that it'll help curb the hunger and also keep me from b/ping but idk what to eat. sweet potatoes?? i already eat a ton of green and cruciferous vegetables daily. im orthorexic/obsessed with anti-inflammation so i would prefer to stay away from sugar and breads if i can. im even hesitant about sugary fruits but ugh. i'm losing my mind here. ideas??
tldr what are normal carbs?
[Help] Please reassure me
/u/little-paws
Created: Sat Dec 9 15:01:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ipqib/please_reassure_me/
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I just fasted for 50 hours after a week long binge and I couldn't sleep so how did I break the fast? With 900 calories of chocolate omg I am so disgusted with myself.
Argh what do I do :(
"Flaws" you're trying to compensate for?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Dec 9 14:54:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ipozz/flaws_youre_trying_to_compensate_for/
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[deleted]
[Help] Count your calories in recipes :) Found a good website!
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 57.1kg | BMI 18.86 |- 15kg | GW 52kg | 25F]
Created: Sat Dec 9 14:35:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ipkvz/count_your_calories_in_recipes_found_a_good/
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Hey guys this might help a lot of you not panic about not knowing how much is in your homecooked meals.
For example, I thought this soup I made would be about 175kcal per portion, but it's actually 65kcal!
https://www.verywell.com/recipe-nutrition-analyzer-4129594
[Rant/Rave] My dad just called me 'wide'
/u/acswana7
Created: Sat Dec 9 14:21:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iphw1/my_dad_just_called_me_wide/
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I'm in shock. My dad was making an off hand comment about a tv show, then proceeded to say how I would fail because I'm 'wide'. He said it as if he didn't expect a reaction too. I feel so sick and angry and sad. I literally started tearing up, my sister choked on her food cos she laughed which adds insult to injury.
I feel so betrayed. I've been fasting and restricting and managed to lose 3 pounds recently, and finally was starting to accept my body having some curves or not the flattest tummy ever, but this comment has dragged me down to the pits of hell again.
The worst part was he didn't understand how I could be insulted by it. I was sitting there, getting angry at him for saying it, and he was like 'don't start with me'.
I know my dad prefers my stick thin sister over me. She goes to the gym with him and I refuse to even eat in front of people.
I dunno, just wanted to tell some people who might've been in the same situation. I'm not looking for sympathy, it's just a shit situation and a shit thing to say. I mean could you imagine telling a close friend who's kind of chubby that they look 'wide'?! Even if they haven't got an eating disorder, that's just not a thing you say.
[Help] ruining metabolism?
/u/fitisthegoal
Created: Sat Dec 9 14:08:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ipez7/ruining_metabolism/
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restricting to 800-900 a day when i have a tdee of around 1600 won't 'wreck' me forever right. I'm 10 ish pounds to my goal which i haven't been at since I went into out patient help but i was basically pre pubescent at that point in my life. I know that it's more complicated than all of this but the media hype terrifies me that i'll never be able to eat normally.
[Help] How to stop binging at home
/u/cloudy_gaze [5'3" | 95lbs | 16.8 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 9 14:06:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ipeqd/how_to_stop_binging_at_home/
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Just came home from college, already had my first binge last night after successfully losing a bunch of weight in the last few weeks. :(
I'm disappointed in myself and my lack of control. When I was in college I severely restricted what I bought at the store and only bought a little bit of food each time (and no junk food). But now that I'm in a house full of food, I'm having such a hard time restricting.
Does anyone have any good strategies/ideas for dealing with this?
[Discussion] DAE watch people talking about their eating disorder recovery / story on YouTube...to get new tips for fasting....
/u/misskarcrashian [5'4" | SW: 170 | GW: 0 | 17f]
Created: Sat Dec 9 13:35:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ip7uz/dae_watch_people_talking_about_their_eating/
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The title says it all. I find myself searching “my anorexia story” just to find new tips for fasting and such. And I feel so bad because the girls and guys I watch are so strong and beautiful and I just go to their videos to find new tips to keep myself sick.
[Rant/Rave] Blue Raspberry ICEE Venting/Barely Coherent Obsessive Calorie Rant
/u/InSkyLimitEra [5' 7.25" | CW 115 | LW 105 | HW 180 | 30 F]
Created: Sat Dec 9 13:31:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ip6yj/blue_raspberry_icee_ventingbarely_coherent/
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So, I saw "The Disaster Artist" on opening night on Thursday (*awesome* movie, and particularly a must-see if you've seen the movie "The Room"). I was overjoyed to see that the concession stand had all the calories on it!! I decided to get something because paying way too much for theater junk food just seemed like such a normal, non-anorexic thing to do, and it said a large ICEE was just 230 cal!
I thought it sounded too good to be true, but LoseIt! had entries that weren't far off. Just in case, I chose one to enter into the app that was 290 for 32 ounces and had the little green "verified" checkmark, so I felt pretty safe.
Fast forward two days, I realize some other things on that calorie-labelled menu made no sense. I decided to perform my own search. I found the most obnoxious mishmosh of answers:
[McDonald's says that their 16oz blueberry ICEE is only 130](https://www.mcdonalds.com/us/en-us/product/blue-raspberry-icee-small.html),
which still seems low to me... but then it says [the 32oz large ICEE is ALSO 130](https://www.mcdonalds.com/us/en-us/product/blue-raspberry-icee-large.html). WTF. And, for what it's worth, they claim that their [21 oz medium is 170] (https://www.mcdonalds.com/us/en-us/product/blue-raspberry-icee-medium.html). Superb.
Most of the numbers from other companies (Burger King, Casey's, Speedway, Taco Bell, etc.) are comparable except they add around 100 for the large (I assume McDonald's has a typo).
And then I found one, single, solitary source that shows something radically different. Some random catering company says that [16 oz is 234 and 32 oz is 468](http://www.lancercatering.com/CAB/images/nutritionInfo/Icee%20Blue%20Rasp%20or%20Cherry%20Small%2016oz..pdf), which was more in line with my instinct. Why, in the face of so many alternative estimates, do I feel like I have to enter that instead "just to be safe"? And now I've wasted like an hour that I can't afford, as I'm nearly 2700 flashcards behind because I was in treatment for so long.
Ugh. This is exhausting.
Thanks for listening to my boring ramblings. I don't know who else would have understood my anxiety and obsessiveness.
EDIT/UPDATE: I just now went to the ICEE website itself (tried before, but the page wouldn't load). For blue raspberry, it says that [6 oz is 95 calories](http://www.icee.com/products/#20), which proportionally would make a 16 oz ICEE 253 cal, a 21 oz ICEE 332 cal, and my big ass 32 oz ICEE 507 calories. For fuck's sake... kill me...
[Thinspo] DAOE watch Gotham for thinspo?
/u/FruitandBone [5'3 |CW:*face palm* |Lost:-15lbs | F]
Created: Sat Dec 9 13:17:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ip3np/daoe_watch_gotham_for_thinspo/
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All the women on this show are gorgeous, and the aestetic of the show dresses them in amazing stylized fashions. I would give my left arm to have any of their bodies.
[Tip] Gonna start bringing bouillon cubes to uni
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 111 | 20.3 | -24 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 9 13:12:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ip2q1/gonna_start_bringing_bouillon_cubes_to_uni/
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gonna have delicious 15 cal soup in a cup every day for 10 cents (hot water for tea from the vending machines). yaaaaaaaas. I'm so excited.
Guys I feel so wispy and elegant :D
/u/decima205 [5'6" | SW: 150 | CW: 138 | GW1: 135 | UGW: 100]
Created: Sat Dec 9 12:48:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iox82/guys_i_feel_so_wispy_and_elegant_d/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Woohoo 42 hour fast and 2 days of insane exercise - check!
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Sat Dec 9 12:31:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iotdi/woohoo_42_hour_fast_and_2_days_of_insane_exercise/
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I’ve been fighting the urge to fast longer than a day because I know it’s a slippery slope for me but I needed the mental satisfaction of just doing it to settle post-vacation anxiety. I’ll be eating in 30 or so minutes to attempt to get back to maintenance for the week...yup this makes perfect sense. Many days I think I’m just a fat ass who likes to eat a lot at once so maintain this disordered restrict and surplus pattern vs just eating normal amounts of food everyday like a normal person...it’s fascinating that the latter doesn’t seem possible. How’s everyone’s weekend?
How I get through life
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Dec 9 12:10:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ioom6/how_i_get_through_life/
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https://i.imgur.com/p3HkMBy.jpg
[Help] Tracking EC stacks?
/u/blackcherrymerlost [5'8 | GW 125 | 21F]
Created: Sat Dec 9 12:02:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iomt5/tracking_ec_stacks/
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Hey friends,
So after a LOT of deliberation and research (including that super helpful post from a few days ago!) I've decided to start EC stacking to see if maybe THIS will finally help me stop binging (and be able to fast for more than 24 hours lol).
I'm aware of the risks and possible side effects, I guess I'm just wondering how you guys keep track of your stacks? Especially once it's like 3x a day, I feel like it's a lot to stay on top of. Do you use alarms? Journal trackers? Pls help a girl out 🙏
edit: spelling
[Rant/Rave] [Rave] Lowest weight since high school
/u/iheartlemons [5'1" | 92.8lb | 17.5BMI | 27F]
Created: Sat Dec 9 11:45:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ioj4t/rave_lowest_weight_since_high_school/
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Guys, I'm finally back to the weight I was in high school when I was at my skinniest. I'm pretty sure I was at this weight when I stopped getting my period, so I wonder if it will come this month (TMI). Anyway, I'm super thrilled. Hoping to make it to 90lb by Christmas.
[Help] I feel guilty about needing to increase my intake.
/u/mintslut [4'11 | CW: 111.2 | UGW: 84 | -12.4lbs | F]
Created: Sat Dec 9 11:39:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iohy5/i_feel_guilty_about_needing_to_increase_my_intake/
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I've been restricting to 427 calories for the past 34 days. I've actually done really well, and only had about two or three days above 427 (the days surrounding my blood donation appointment were higher intake days, but not binge days). I haven't binged for 34 days and that's huge for me. I'd binged every single day of the entire month of October. I don't want to go back to that. And while part of me knows that I won't pick up those habits again, I'm still afraid.
Eating at 427 calories every day feels safe. But at the same time, I have no energy ever. Studying for exams is damn near impossible. If I could increase my intake to 600 even, I'm sure I'd feel better. But I feel so guilty. Like I haven't gotten permission to eat at 600 (from who? God knows). Like I'm not thin enough to eat at 600. Like I'll gain weight at 600. I don't know how to stop myself from feeling that way.
I don't know what to do. Has anyone else felt this way? What do you do to snap out of it?
[Other] Would I ever be able to get a thigh gap?
/u/little-paws
Created: Sat Dec 9 11:21:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iodyj/would_i_ever_be_able_to_get_a_thigh_gap/
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[removed]
Would I ever be able to get a thigh gap?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Dec 9 11:15:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iocjz/would_i_ever_be_able_to_get_a_thigh_gap/
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[deleted]
[Help] slimming thighs?
/u/bmddx
Created: Sat Dec 9 11:12:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iobwn/slimming_thighs/
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a pretty self explanatory post, but what do y'all do that you've found helps slim your thighs? i feel like such a pig.
[Intro] Starting AGAIN, please help!
/u/wanttobeprettysmall
Created: Sat Dec 9 11:07:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ioars/starting_again_please_help/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Bought a beautiful BCBGMAXAZRIA dress in size 2. Currently size 6. Why am I like this 🙃
/u/fillebonbon
Created: Sat Dec 9 11:03:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7io9t0/bought_a_beautiful_bcbgmaxazria_dress_in_size_2/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] So my mom sent me photos from when I was restricting / exercising
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Dec 9 10:29:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7io23i/so_my_mom_sent_me_photos_from_when_i_was/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Weird quirks/rituals.. Do you?
/u/I_donut_carrot_all [5'6| 85 | 13.71 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 9 10:24:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7io100/weird_quirksrituals_do_you/
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Does any else...
Take forever to get dressed because every outfit is so uncomfortable, so ultimately you decide on an oversized hoodie and are late.
Have to watch a program /YouTube etc if you are going to eat
Feel insane anxiety that you aren't enjoying said show, or it's boring, so therefore your food is "less enjoyable" switching programs 10+ times, realizing you ate all your food aka wasted it, but finally found something to watch, so you go get MORE food
It doesn't matter how cold it is out or if it is 3am, if I haven't hit my steps, we (my dog & I) are going on a walk
Having to eat crunchy stuff away from others because you know your chewing is so loud it could deafen the deaf (a la lily himym)
Making a "last meal" every night (this is partly due to my attempt at IF ) just in case I don't wake up, then realizing this is crazy, so I say screw it, I'll start tomorrow.
The all or nothing mentality. Family size bag of chips? I'm a family of 1.
Meal prep for the week in attempts to normalize my eating, then proceed to eat Monday through Wednesday's prepared meals.
Have a bad /unclean /trigger food in the fridge, decide right before midnight you want tomorrow to be a clean slate, so you have to go eat ALL of it so it won't mess up tomorrow's counts.
Save copious amounts of wrappers from things (even pulling them from the bin at work) then strategically place them in areas of the apartment so it looks like I've eaten (not to mention a slob & junk food obsessed)
Eating canned or packaged foods over fresh healthy produce if I can't use my kitchen scale because I just HAVE to know the calorie count
Decided NOT to eat a certain food or meal because it is x amount of calories, eat something else, then end up eating first food anyway.
Being hangry all the fucking time
Having someone offer to make you food when you are tired or sick, but have to say no because you don't know how many calories will be in it
Accidentally letting really weird shit slip that only we (disordered ppl) would under, then quickly back track to cover it up
Get intense anxiety in markets yet spend hours looking at food and labels, then leave with like 4 safe foods.
Anyone else? I was thinking of all the weird shit I do and wonder if anyone is the same, or if I'm actually a loon lol.
[Rant/Rave] Finally bought new jeans
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Sat Dec 9 09:30:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7inoyt/finally_bought_new_jeans/
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Hey guys, I’ve been posting a lot of negative shit here lately (also just posting way too much in general- I hope I’m not the only one who posts this much 😬)
BUT I have positive news finally!!
Last week I went shopping for jeans bc all mine are too big. I usually am a size 4 (27/28) so I figured I would buy a size 2, but as I was looking at them on the hangers I was like uhh these look too big so I picked out a couple size 1’s to try and they were still too big so I bought a couple size 0’s (24) without even trying them on and when I got home 2/3 fit perfectly!!!
Last week was a binge week also and I’m up a couple lbs so it definitely made me feel a bit better and more motivated.
Another positive is I’ve restricted the past 36 hours and since I made it past the first 24 I know I’ll be able to make it to 70 this weekend 😊 things are lookin up!
I’ve still got 2 lbs to go tho before I get back to pre binge weight but I’m hoping this fast will get me there.
Hope everyone else is having a great weekend!!
[Other] It’s my birthday today and I’m still bulimic
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'3"|110| 25F]
Created: Sat Dec 9 08:04:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7in66n/its_my_birthday_today_and_im_still_bulimic/
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Anyone else feeling real old yet
I’m 26 but I’m pretty sure my body is feelin a bit older.
Maybe in an another world there is a happy and healthier and more confident me but I don’t think this is it.
[Discussion] Male users, did you notice being treated better when you were thin?
/u/queer_cutie [5'7 | gw 110 | -7lbs | 23gq]
Created: Sat Dec 9 07:07:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7imw2c/male_users_did_you_notice_being_treated_better/
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By guys, girls, whatever? Did people invite you out to social stuff when before they wouldn't? Talk to you more? Were people more attracted/flirty towards you? What has your experience been like?
Hope this is okay to ask here.
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! December 09, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Dec 9 05:11:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7imf7h/stupid_questions_saturday_december_09_2017/
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This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for December 09, 2017.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! December 09, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Dec 9 05:10:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7imf38/daily_food_diary_december_09_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 09, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] DAE have the thighs situation -_-
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [170| 54| 18.6|f]
Created: Sat Dec 9 04:11:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7im7yh/dae_have_the_thighs_situation/
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https://imgur.com/a/9bkAQ
[Rant/Rave] When purging is like a drug
/u/New-Dart [BMI 17.5 | 174cm | F]
Created: Sat Dec 9 04:02:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7im6u6/when_purging_is_like_a_drug/
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I've been purging for almost 12 years now, and the last 18 months I've made a real effort to remove it from my life. I've only slipped up maybe twice, and again tonight.
I got thinking during my post-shower/purge daze how much I actually /enjoy/ it? Like it's got to the point where my body has recognised that as an endorphin releasing behaviour. It scares me.
Anyone else find this??
Oh I'm also kinda worried I'm gonna fall back into the habit :/
[Thinspo] Thinspirational Instagrams?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Dec 9 03:32:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7im3kd/thinspirational_instagrams/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7im3kd/thinspirational_instagrams/
[Other] Ive reached enlightenment
/u/glorydaisy [5'3 | CW 123 | UGW 100]
Created: Sat Dec 9 01:28:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ilnym/ive_reached_enlightenment/
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I don't have to keep my ED a secret anymore because *no one can do a single thing to stop me*.
[Discussion] Diet soda weight gain article for you guys
/u/ForSnowfall
Created: Sat Dec 9 01:20:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iln3v/diet_soda_weight_gain_article_for_you_guys/
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https://www.alternet.org/food/coca-cola-pepsi-and-dr-pepper-sued-over-misleading-diet-soda-ads
[Intro] Okay, I'm done lurking and I need support.
/u/afraidofjudgement
Created: Fri Dec 8 23:42:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7il9vx/okay_im_done_lurking_and_i_need_support/
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Hi, I just made this alt account because I'm afraid to use my main one so people wouldn't harass me, I guess.
I just need some support right now... I've been restricting low for so long and the last 1 1/2 months I've been b/p. My weight loss has slowed down, but I just can't stop binging. Like yesterday and today, I've binged 2,500 and 3,000. All week long I restricted so good and I fuck it all up. I truly hate myself. According to my tdee I only have 1,919 calories to maintain my current weight till Sunday. Guess that's the silver lining for me, but I just feel so worthless.
I'm on mobile so forgive me for not tagging my measurements. 4'9 F CW: 103lbs HW:160 GW:????
[Other] I feel like webkinz is trying to tell me something
/u/Arakance [5'2" | CW: 123lb | GW: 99lb | 19 F]
Created: Fri Dec 8 23:10:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7il4gz/i_feel_like_webkinz_is_trying_to_tell_me_something/
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https://i.imgur.com/EMSYQZd.png
[Other] Fitness Instas
/u/loseitjen [5'8 |SW 140|CW 127|GW 115| F21]
Created: Fri Dec 8 22:54:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7il1k7/fitness_instas/
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Anyone else see people from their high school class creating fitness instas/gym accounts and wonder how they are able to be healthy and workout regularly without becoming obsessive? I see it all the time and obiously it's not easy but neither is this. Yet somehow this is the path I chose? Lol can't imagine my ED insta would be as popular.
[Discussion] Beautiful food inspo?
/u/umeboushi
Created: Fri Dec 8 22:36:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ikyq3/beautiful_food_inspo/
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One of the manifestations of my ED is that I go through phases where I only want to eat aesthetically pleasing food. Like, small portioned, cleanly presented food. Sometimes I’ll just go through Instagram for hours just scrolling through pictures (usually from Japanese and Korean accounts) of pretty food. It makes me want to be the kind of person who only eats those kinds of meals and can help me restrict sometimes.
I also lived in Tokyo for a while, and it’s given me some really different standards on food presentation (not to mention that my ED started while I was there).
Does anyone else feel this way? What kinds of foods do you most like looking at?
(on mobile, please flair as discussion!)
(edited a little for content)
[Discussion] DAE have an addiction to alcohol?
/u/DuchessOfBedlam
Created: Fri Dec 8 22:05:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iktkw/dae_have_an_addiction_to_alcohol/
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I have a serious alcohol addiction. I restrict even more to allow for the calories of drinking, but I hate it. If I could just quit drinking I could get to my goal so much faster. Question for everyone: How do you keep from drinking your calories? Just have water or what?
[Discussion] Recovery plans/resources that aren’t weight restoration focused ?
/u/Idunnoking [5’1 | CW98.8| GW95 | 16F✨]
Created: Fri Dec 8 21:47:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ikqqe/recovery_plansresources_that_arent_weight/
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Okay so like I’m going to attempt to fix my disordered eating ? I’m realizing pretty quickly this has snowballed into something way uglier then I’ve anticipated in such a small amount of time (god i almost want to bitterly laugh @ myself for my own stupidity but anyways) and it fucking sucks to say the least. The only thing is that I want to ‘recover’ without gaining weight because honestly, I don’t think it’s necessary in my circumstances and would probably just cause more harm then if I was to continue like this as prior to this, I definitely had an issue w emotional eating. It’s tough considering most of the recovery community seems to be focused on weight restoration which I mean good for them but I don’t think I need to be eating 3500+cals so I was wondering if anyone had a plan they were following that they felt was a bit more sustainable? I flaired this as a discussion because while I’d love some insight, I also find it really comforting to hear your experiences, it definitely makes things feel less isolating.💖
[Intro] Oh f*ck
/u/oFILo
Created: Fri Dec 8 21:28:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iknfk/oh_fck/
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Just reilized a person I know in my school was following my secret Ed diary Instagram account that I have set on private I feel so dumb I forgot to take my name off of my account I feel like everyones going to know my fucking secret now worst of all is it was a picture of my stomach and a little bit exposing my tits so now I'm actually fucked if it gets sent around
[Rant/Rave] |Advice/help/rant| Need help objectively gauging how much I've eaten
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |104 | -116 | 20A]
Created: Fri Dec 8 20:04:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ik7q6/advicehelprant_need_help_objectively_gauging_how/
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Since I'm 'recovering' I decided to do a no count challenge today after a week of falling back into restricting from stress and depression. It's been a real mental struggle but I haven't opened MFP once. I honestly can't say the last time I haven't logged or checked calorie counts.
I've eaten -
Bfast - 1 mini chocolate glazed espresso creme Bismark with 190ml cashew milk
/like a third of the size of a traditional bismark
Lunch - 65cal quesadilla, 238g cucumber, 100g sugar peas, 2ml sesame oil, 12g doubanjiang, 3ml soy sauce
Dinner - 2 slices/200g/ spinach, garlic, and sausage pizza with the oil blotted off
Snacks - 7g ube ice cream, 1 banana slice, 5g reddi whip
Planned snack - SF Jello with pbfit and whipped cream
I *have* been mentally calculating all day and it's exhausting. I feel really....weird about it all. I have no idea what a normal amount of food looks like anymore so I'm sitting here ruminating on all of my choices today worrying if I'm overdoing it. /it doesn't help that I also ate two big fear foods as well/
I'm really curious and anxious to know, is this too much ? Too little? 'Normal?' I would have to eat 2230 calories today AND tomorrow to reach weekly maintenance, is there any way that I've surpassed that? /I don't want to talk specific numbers, just generally/
I honestly don't think so but I'm terrified of the possibility......ugh. I hate this.
Thanks for reading, miss y'all. ✨
[Discussion] Would you want to never have to eat if it meant you couldn't enjoy eating when you ate?
/u/kpatable [5'9" | literally 4k lbs | F]
Created: Fri Dec 8 19:46:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ik3hz/would_you_want_to_never_have_to_eat_if_it_meant/
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Btw I'm high.
[Other] Decisions, decisions
/u/th3Y3ti [5' 3.5" | CW 119| LW 110| F]
Created: Fri Dec 8 19:29:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ijz2k/decisions_decisions/
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I'm really in the mood to get stoned, but I'm really scared I'll binge.
But I just took a final and I would love to unwind. Plus there's the added bonus of it boosting your metabolism. So I'm here, trying to figure out if I trust my self-control enough to smoke a bowl :/
[Help] Starbucks calorie calculator?
/u/MastersJohnson [5'6" | CW: 138lbs | +18 lbs 😞🔫 | GW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Fri Dec 8 19:27:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ijymn/starbucks_calorie_calculator/
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Why is this not a thing? Is it a thing and I just can't find it? As in, build your own drink from the bottom up, with individual component calorie info? So I can mess around with different drink types and whole milk (which I prefer for satiety) vs nonfat in relation to calories from flavor pump add ins and extra shots of espresso and adjust beverage size etc. etc. etc.?
This has been giving me unreasonable amounts of anxiety lately (like... nightly nightmares levels of anxiety) because my SO loves to treat us to Starbucks when we're travelling and I don't know what to get anymore and I want to try different combos and seem normal and instead I just go into full on panic mode while standing there and idk. This is so stupid.
Help?
[Rant/Rave] I've been trying so hard.
/u/WhatsAMooseSay [5'5 | CW: 204.6 lbs | -70.4lbs | GW: 115 | 26F]
Created: Fri Dec 8 19:24:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ijxo6/ive_been_trying_so_hard/
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I want to quit purging. But i just can't. Any time my stomach feels even this slightest bit "full".. I end up purging. Almost like my body just auto rejects it all. Some sort of weird Pavlovian response from the nearly 14 years of purging... Full belly = a purge, regardless of if I want to or not. I'm laying in bed trying to distract myself at the moment and I feel sick.. Headache and pain and I feel hot and sweaty. A "normal" sized dinner and I feel poisoned, and won't feel better until I purge.
I don't think I'll ever get over this.
[Other] Depressing fantasy
/u/denimlemonade [5'4" | CW 154.8 | 27.1 | GW 110 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 8 18:35:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ijnoc/depressing_fantasy/
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I can't stop thinking about how much I want to be an old woman, like 80 or so. I wouldn't have to give a shit about my weight or appearance. I would just stay at home all day and eat and eat and eat as much food as I could afford. I wouldn't have to worry about health because I would die soon anyway. I guess in a way that's what I want to do right now: live in isolation and eat until I die. What is wrong with me.
[Tip] Tip from my dental hygienist
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 80 lbs | 15.13 | -27 | f]
Created: Fri Dec 8 18:33:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ijn8v/tip_from_my_dental_hygienist/
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When you get done purging (or just barfing in any context), swish with fluoride toothpaste! Just place about the amount you'd use to brush on your tongue, take a sip of water, and swish it around for basically as long as you can stand. It will help nesutralize the acid and hopefully spare/strengthen your teeth a little.
[Discussion] I want to know what people think of my body, I wish I could ask.
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Fri Dec 8 18:33:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ijn7h/i_want_to_know_what_people_think_of_my_body_i/
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I wish I could post body pictures and get real advice from people, their real opinion. I am slightly scared of being found though. Not the oh your too skinny or you look slim from family.
I want to be picked apart. Where am I still fat, what looks ugly, I wish I could mind read. I just want honestly, but you can't just ask, ya know. I wonder what strangers think. Do I look average? Or sick? Who knows!?
Just something I want...
[Rant/Rave] When you binged and were going to purge but a family member came home early and now you can't purge T_T
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 8 18:32:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ijn2m/when_you_binged_and_were_going_to_purge_but_a/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Is anyone here from a Japanese background?
/u/onichan_no_chinchin [Height: 170cm | CW: land whale | 25F]
Created: Fri Dec 8 17:46:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ijdu5/is_anyone_here_from_a_japanese_background/
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Both my parents are Japanese, but I was born here in Australia (i can't even speak Japanese well). They're both very thin, especially my mother, who is approximately 160cm and around 45 kg.
Growing up, I remember my mother making comments about my body or weight and telling me to watch what I eat so I don't get fat because we Japanese should look slim. I think I was around 50kg at my height at this time, which was quite skinny I thought. This made me feel so uncomfortable as a growing teenager and because obsessed with my weight because of these comments. My father didn't share the same sentiments, but did remark that I should eat less rice more often than I should.
I'm sure these sort of sentiments are not culturally exclusive, but has anyone else been told to eat less because of their background?
[Help] Please help me navigate the weekend
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 140.2 | BMI 27.3 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26 F]
Created: Fri Dec 8 17:41:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ijcth/please_help_me_navigate_the_weekend/
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My BF is taking me away to the shore house this weekend. (I’m 26 years old and I had never been to a shore house before we started dating, lol, like what)
Anyway he made me promise that I would eat whatever I want this weekend and not count calories. I know for a fact that we are going to a cheesesteak place, a breakfast place, and a really nice restaurant.
I said I would eat whatever I want but I really don’t want to turn these into binge days. My TDEE right now is about 1500 so I’d like to stay under that, 1800 absolute max. I don’t want to have to make up a pound when I come back.
Do you guys have any advice so that I can navigate this without looking like I’m counting my calories? He knows I count and he can see when I’m doing it because of MFP being open but I promised him I wouldn’t. My plan is to just get the smallest and healthiest dishes possible and then do an estimate count in the bathroom or something but I’m not sure if me getting a salad at a cheesesteak place could set him off.
[Discussion] What's your plan when you have a night out?
/u/diet247x [5'3 | cw: 131 | gw: 125 | ugw: 107 | -25 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 8 17:11:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ij6eb/whats_your_plan_when_you_have_a_night_out/
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I'm going out tonight for the first time in FOREVER. And I've been restricting to 500ish cals a day for the past week. I just had 120 cals for lunch, and I'm wondering what I should drink when I go out to bars? I'm thinking sugar free redbull vodkas, but is there a better drink out there?
[Other] If you were to create an ED care package for yourself, what would you include?
/u/helpingmyselftoday
Created: Fri Dec 8 17:11:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ij6dx/if_you_were_to_create_an_ed_care_package_for/
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I think mine would have gum, tea bags, and warm gloves.
[Help] Tried to purge again and failed
/u/SvelteDreams [5'5" | CW 121.4lbs | GW 103lbs | 21F]
Created: Fri Dec 8 17:09:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ij61p/tried_to_purge_again_and_failed/
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So I binged because finals and because stress and oh god. I don't know how much calorie wise it was. But I have a party to go to tonight and I don't want to be bloated and fat and sooooo like an idiot I tried to purge. I've never successfully purged. I tried a lot when I first began to struggle with an ED. This is the first time I've tried in a while. I'm glad it didn't take... I don't want to start. I'm so disappointed in myself to even try to start. But I also now don't know what to do about tonight. I'm so bloated. Maybe it'll reduce down but idk. Fuck. I'm worried. I probably should see my therapist and get help before any of this gets worse but I don't want to. I feel like shit for failing to purge. I can't even fuck up right :(
[Rant/Rave] restricting, doing well, get some awful news---> terrible binge
/u/mazzy___ [5'9" | 150 | 21.75 | GW: 120 | UGW: 110]
Created: Fri Dec 8 17:01:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ij4cw/restricting_doing_well_get_some_awful_news/
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I have been doing pretty well the last few days eating below 500 calories for the most part. Today I was on my way to work and I got a phone call that the place I work is closing down and not to come in. Queue me stress eating over losing my job and undoing all of my progress. I hate myself and this situation. I guess since I'll be broke until I find a new job it will be a really good excuse to not eat though, right?
Also I'm on mobile and can't flair 🙀
[Rant/Rave] Forced to Eat
/u/omguncool
Created: Fri Dec 8 16:37:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iiz3u/forced_to_eat/
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I hate them so much and how they make me eat. I would be doing SOO good, I have restricted calories, I exercise, I want to get thin, but they MAKE me eat, I hate it when they fucking make food without even asking if I want to eat, or no.
I love the feeling of emptyness. It's amazing, especially when I get back home from school, I'd eat some bread with low cal jam or something, then I'd go nap so I don't binge, and wake up, eat the rest of my intake (Usually 200 cals approximately). That's what I want to do. I exercise at night because of the noise, and parents coming in my room. I wish they didn't force me to eat... Sorry, I just hate it so much.
[Rant/Rave] Waiting is tortureeee
/u/th3Y3ti [5' 3.5" | CW 119| LW 110| F]
Created: Fri Dec 8 16:32:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iixvj/waiting_is_tortureeee/
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So just maybe 3 weeks ago I was at my lowest weight that I've ever been. Amazing, I was so happy and motivated. Fast forward to yesterday when I weigh myself for the first time in like 2 weeks and discover that I've gained 9 pounds. NINE. Which is even worse for me because I'm kind of on the shorter side so you can see every freaking ounce in high def.
Anyway, thankfully I'm back on track and hopefully on my way back to my low weight. Just the waiting is TORTURE. I would be happy to suffer through anything if I could just see the results sooner (I mean who wouldn't obviously). It's just so hard to look in the mirror now and think about how looongg it's going to take before I don't hate my reflection anymore.
It's so much easier to stay motivated when you're already well on your way ya know?
Anyway, rant over. Waiting sucks. The end.
[Other] Got snowed in at my parents
/u/counting-the-seconds
Created: Fri Dec 8 16:07:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iisd8/got_snowed_in_at_my_parents/
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And they expect me to eat dinner with them but I'm at my limit for the day. Ugh.
[Discussion] Ladies... Weight Gain / Distribution
/u/kvikerdragen [5'6.5" | 22F | CW Disappointing | GW 111 | HW 182]
Created: Fri Dec 8 15:12:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iifmj/ladies_weight_gain_distribution/
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Soooo one question I've had for several years that I've never gotten around to asking anyone is whether if I gained weight from a lowish weight, to what extent that would go to my chest, and then whether or not I would keep that if I lost that weight again.
I'm a B right now for reference. Same as I was when I was at my high weight. But then I'm MtF so I'm not wholly sure how much better I can do naturally.
Feel free to chime in if you've lost, gained, then lost weight. Or just gained then lost weight. Or just have anything interesting to say.
[Help] Silly question probably
/u/Fantasisingfunerals [5’8 | 118 | BMI: 18.0 | 17F]
Created: Fri Dec 8 14:56:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iibvw/silly_question_probably/
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How long does it take for specific areas of ones body to start to show weight loss? I’ve lost over 20 pounds but some parts are just like they were before the loss
[Discussion] Reporting my sexual assault from years ago is making me despondent and depresso and deleted my appetite
/u/bashytr0n
Created: Fri Dec 8 14:30:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ii5l3/reporting_my_sexual_assault_from_years_ago_is/
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Is it fucked up that all i can think about is hoping the numbness lasts so at least i can gain something from this bullshit by getting tiny because fuck this guy for bringing anymore negativity into my life. Might as well benefit somehow seeing as i had no control or choice over the situation otherwise.
I feel so fucking lonely yet so beyond giving a fuck.
[Rant/Rave] At least the anxiety stops me from eating
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 140.2 | BMI 27.3 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26 F]
Created: Fri Dec 8 13:38:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ihsoq/at_least_the_anxiety_stops_me_from_eating/
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Can’t flair, on mobile. Just rant I guess.
My bf is home sick from work today and hasn’t texted me back since like 11:30. I know he’s probably just asleep but my brain goes to the worst possible thing always and the two main ones are
1) he’s cheating on you
2) he’s dead
Why am I like this? Why can’t I just let my fucking boyfriend sleep while he’s sick? I was just sick last week, I know he’s actually sick. He sounds like shit. What the fuck is wrong with me?
Does anyone else have completely ridiculous thoughts like this? Am I completely alone? I’m going to feel like this until he texts me back. At least with the crippling anxiety I have no desire to eat anything.
Fuck me I just want to relax
[Other] At a Christmas Party
/u/fluffyfinaland [5'6"| CW 151.8 | GW 120 | -20.2 | 21F]
Created: Fri Dec 8 13:32:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ihrgu/at_a_christmas_party/
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I always tag my posts as other cause I don't know what else to do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
My bf was babysat by a couple nuns when he was younger and his family is still in touch with the one who's living. She's in a Catholic care center and today is their Christmas party.
We just got here and since it's basically a bunch of grandmas (lol... well... aside from being nuns) so they're like HERE HAVE SOME FOOD EAT SOME FOOD and we both tried to say no a bunch of ones but they wouldn't accept it. Now I have a piece of cheesecake and a cup of eggnog in front of me and I'm nibbling at it to be polite but I'm screaming on the inside. I haven't eaten yet today and I'm so stressed out because if I eat this cheesecake I know it will probably be my calories for the day. I don't want to be impolite but my anxiety is through the roof.
[Rant/Rave] I see what you mean
/u/SinfulCinnamon
Created: Fri Dec 8 13:22:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ihouq/i_see_what_you_mean/
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When you go to a restaurant or something and they fuck up your order or you can't get what you want.
My boyfriend and I were leaving on a road trip to see my best friend graduate this weekend. I pre-planned my calories for today and was going to make some egg whites/bell peppers at home to bring and snack on later. Literally thought about it all night before falling asleep. Well he insisted on going to McDonald's this morning instead which was something we used to do. And he convinced me to just get an egg white delight there for around the same calories I was planning on eating anyways. So I didn't make my food like I wanted to and trusted that it would work out. It didn't. They don't make that specific sandwich after 11am but they make everything else. So I got nothing. And have nothing for the long drive. Obviously I'm upset because I should have just went with my own plan and I would've been fine. Trying not to let it ruin my day but wtf I am so annoyed and he didn't even care he just got his food and now we're off. Must be the universe teaching me a lesson for attempting to eat McDonald's and now I have to teach him to never change my plans again by not eating for at least today and tomorrow. 48 hour champagne diet for this girl. Happy Friday to everyone else though -.-
[Tip] Reached heaviest weight and freaking out
/u/frankesteinsmonster
Created: Fri Dec 8 13:12:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ihmav/reached_heaviest_weight_and_freaking_out/
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Right now I’m probably at my heaviest weight and I honestly don’t know what to do or how to feel. I’m trying to keep myself from breaking down and finding solutions to lose some weight. I’m currently 177 cm (5’10) and 74 kg (163lbs) . I usually b/p but while I was abroad for 2 months I stopped purging and gained weight like crazy :(
Heeeeellllp. I’m slowly getting fat and I hate feeling like this, my worst nightmare is being fat ( I don’t know if anyone else feels like this) and to me this is VERY overweight. I feel so useless
[Rant/Rave] Starbucks' Christmas Tree Frappuccino Tastes Like Broken Promises and Thin Mints
/u/FoofyFoof
Created: Fri Dec 8 13:01:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ihjpk/starbucks_christmas_tree_frappuccino_tastes_like/
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http://www.sfgate.com/food/article/Starbucks-Christmas-Tree-Frappuccino-tastes-like-12415551.php
[Rant/Rave] My brain always jumps to the worst conclusions and I hate it.
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5'4" | 120 | 20.54| GW: 115 | NB]
Created: Fri Dec 8 12:46:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ihfqn/my_brain_always_jumps_to_the_worst_conclusions/
---
I asked my girlfriend if I could change my profile picture to one of the both of us on facebook and she said no. Which is fine, except she didn't elaborate on it until I asked so my brain immediately jumped to 'it's because she's embarrassed of you' and 'she had a profile picture with her ex in it because she was skinny and gorgeous and you're just ugly.'. Turns out she doesn't like photos of herself (which I get I hate photos of me as well) and dislikes couples photos which is fair.
But fuck me it hurt like a bitch to immediately think that. I mean all my housemates go home tomorrow which means I have two and a half days to fast/restrict before I go to my dad's for Christmas which is good, I'll go home hopefully at one of my lowest weights.
I hate this, I hate that my brain makes me think that my girlfriends going to leave me over my weight and I'm always so paranoid that my friends are looking over my shoulder at my reddit and seeing that I'm posting here. On top of that I think my girlfriend saw me writing this post (not sure if she saw the sub name or my username I really hope not).
[Discussion] restricting makes food way more enjoyable
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Fri Dec 8 12:28:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ihbfv/restricting_makes_food_way_more_enjoyable/
---
1. i don’t feel as guilty eating if i’ve restricted all day/week or been fasting
2. warm food going into an empty stomach is the best feeling ever
3. being properly hungry for a meal makes it so much more enjoyable and if i haven’t eaten or binged recently i feel way more like i deserve it
anyone else?💖💖💖
[Rant/Rave] People who comment on what/how much you eat
/u/Clev3rgirl84
Created: Fri Dec 8 12:05:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ih5nh/people_who_comment_on_whathow_much_you_eat/
---
So basically I’m 5 foot 7, and weight 118lbs bmi 18.4 so I don’t bloody over eat :/ , I’m a uk size 6 sometimes a 4(us 2/0) I’ve been at work all day and haven’t eaten at all.
My parents have arranged to have a Chinese takeaway at theirs with my siblings.
I get here and eat, because I felt a bit sick, maybe, half a drumstick of chicken.
2 hours later they want to order the Chinese and I said I would have crispy duck and that was it. My mother then made some comment ‘ASWELL as the chicken you ATE?!?!’ In front of everyone.
My sister who is larger than me went on to order two full dishes and she make a comment about oh how she barely eats etc.
Plus earlier I’d bought a skirt that was in the clearance section as miss sized as a size 8, it’s only just fits me (my waist is 24.8 inches) so smaller than size 8 and my mum was like yeah your obviously bigger than size 8.
The worse thing is - she is obese.
Plus it’s my birthday. Now I don’t even want to eat anything at all.
Happy birthday me.
I tried to find pictures of the dress I’m wearing this upcoming Saturday and ended up triggering myself over models in dresses UGH
/u/BioluminescentNorm
Created: Fri Dec 8 11:21:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7igujc/i_tried_to_find_pictures_of_the_dress_im_wearing/
---
[Discussion] False information about bulimia?
/u/fieryanxiety [5'7" | CW 119 | BMI 19| HW 159 | GW 110]
Created: Fri Dec 8 11:16:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7igtem/false_information_about_bulimia/
---
So I can't tell you how many times I've read or heard that bulimics tend to maintain or GAIN weight because you can only purge between 10-30% of the calories you consume. How can this be true? When I'm in B/P cycle I can binge up to 6,000 calories a day. So that means I retain 70-90% of those calories??? Really? And yet I consistently lose weight. Every single day lower and lower.
Do any of you have similar experiences? Or maybe the opposite experience?
[Other] PSA Bronkaid coupon
/u/eggshellss [5'4"| :( | :( | -25 | 24F]
Created: Fri Dec 8 11:09:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7igrdw/psa_bronkaid_coupon/
---
If you shop at Kroger, there's a $1.50 off bronkaid coupon available in the kroger app under digital coupons. It's also probably available through other stores but this is just the one I know.
[Discussion] When to admit defeat
/u/light_as_a_feather04 [5'6 | 106 | 17.0 | GW: 98| 34/F]
Created: Fri Dec 8 10:54:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ignmo/when_to_admit_defeat/
---
So I had a rough past couple of days due to my SO. I’ve always advised my friend to date men that complimented their life- not complicate it. Why can’t I take my own advice? He’s making my life complicated but I don’t have anywhere to go if I break it off and I can’t put my son through a breakup again. The only upside is that my stomach is in knots over the stress which makes it hard to eat.
So I want to know when it’s time to throw in the towel and admit defeat? I’m considering admitting defeat to myself and happiness in order to preserve my son’s and B/f ...
Now for good news....
I weighed 106 last night and this morning!!! On both scales!! It may be premature but fuck it. I updated my flair.
Fuck Cook Out.
/u/foreverthefatgirl [5'11 | CW: FAT | -20 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Dec 8 10:42:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7igkpg/fuck_cook_out/
---
[removed]
[Help] Will I have to go inpatient?
/u/miracleunicat [5'6 | CW: 109 | GW: 85]
Created: Fri Dec 8 10:23:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7igfsw/will_i_have_to_go_inpatient/
---
Ok, so my parents are taking me to the Emily Program in Seattle. They said that they will have me go inpatient at the Emily Program, which would mean me living in Minnesota or something. Or they will make me go inpatient somewhere else if the doctor person recommends it. Also, does anyone know if my mom will be in the room the whole time. I'm fourteen, and the age of consent for medical stuff in Washington is thirteen. If I'm alone with the doctor then I can be truthful, but I just can't tell my mom everything.
I basically restrict to <200 calories a day and purge what I do eat. I think that I weight a bit less then my stats are right now, but I don't really know because my scale broke. Has anyone been to the Emily Program? What's it like? Do you think that they'll recommend that I go inpatient?
[Rant/Rave] Rave! Fiance complimented me the right way this morning!
/u/artful_heart [5'7.5 | CW 99.2 | GW 92 | UGW 88 | BMI 15.48 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 8 10:16:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ige0e/rave_fiance_complimented_me_the_right_way_this/
---
No one in real life will understand why this is so awesome, so I have to share here!
So it's snowing and super cold here, and as usual in the winter, I'm at the point where it's too cold for me to wear a single layer of pants without my legs *hurting* from the cold.
Today I put on my thick yoga leggings under a pair of jeans, and was thinking to myself, *"Bye-bye thigh gap! ...Y'know, I wonder if I can still have one with two layers of pants when I get smaller... Hm.... Challenge accepted, lol!"*
And I wander into the bathroom, where the fiance is getting ready, and I look in the mirror - my thigh gap is still there! Still visible, even with these layers! I audibly grunt in satisfaction before I can stop myself, and my fiance looks at my reflection.
Without hesitation, he immediately says, "Hey, your thigh gap still shows! Did you decide against layers?"
Me: "Nope!"
Him: "You're awesome!"
And he high-fives me.
I'm still glowing from his praise and understanding. I *love* that he likes boney-thin women... and I love that he *knew* exactly what was going on in my head. YAY!
[Rant/Rave] Owwwowowwow. OW.
/u/theinvisiblecorset [5'2" | SW: 158 | CW: 135 | UGW: 105 | 22F]
Created: Fri Dec 8 09:58:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ig9gw/owwwowowwow_ow/
---
Ok so I binged for the first time in three weeks last night. It’s also the first time I’ve eaten after 5-6 in a few weeks and I now feel like my entire intestinal tract is simultaneously a boulder and an air bubble. The scale read 138 this morning and I’m dying a lot bc of that, but that’s combo water and food weight I think? Idk I’m shaky and feel super gross and I want to scream 😖😖😖😖😖😖😖
[Rant/Rave] It might be easier to hide my restricting from my BF than I thought
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Fri Dec 8 09:39:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ig4vs/it_might_be_easier_to_hide_my_restricting_from_my/
---
Part of the reason I've gained so much weight in the last year is because I've been afraid that my BF will worry and judge me for it. So I forced myself to eat normally around him, which eventually just led to a long binge phase.
I made him a seafood & noodle soup for dinner and packed up the leftover broth as part of my lunch for the next day (along with carrots and grapes. I said "I need to add a protein to this" and he was like 'but you have the miso soup so you're good!" :-)
Lol miso soup is like 50 calories. I guess he doesn't know as much about calories as I thought. As long as I pick high volume foods I should be able to keep restricting around him.
[Rant/Rave] :(
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Fri Dec 8 09:32:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ig32z/_/
---
i feel empty and broken. my issues have pushed all friends and family away. i have no one and nothing.
[Other] There is this girl in my course...
/u/es_0 [167 cm | GW: 47 kg | 20F]
Created: Fri Dec 8 08:50:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ifsec/there_is_this_girl_in_my_course/
---
And guys, she is beautiful. She is smart, small, elegant, cute, intelligent and petite. She has these cute glasses and beautiful hair. Her cheekbones are perfect. She is effortlessly flawless in every aspect - her style, how she carries herself, how she moves, the way she talks, her looks. I'd kill to have her legs. Most days she doesn't even have any make up on and still... beautiful. I mean all of this in the least creepy way possible. I'd say I'm almost a hundred percent straight, so it's not an attraction thing... it's a weird combination of admiration and jealousy.
There are not many girls in my degree, only around 10% are female. And oh boy, the saying "comparison is the thief of joy" has never felt more true. Do you guys understand what I'm talking about?
Whenever I feel jealous of something, I try to change my perspective and do my best to not compare myself. Most days I succeed, I follow the notion to only compare myself to my past self- which isn't much better, I miss past me, but it's still a step in the right direction, right?. But whenever I see her I just crumble. She is literally everything I have ever dreamt about and this is not an exaggeration.
Sadly I'm just not someone that can use situations as these as inspiration. It's just leaves me feeling awful. I get angry and frustrated with myself and the genetic hand I was dealt.
I know, I know, this is complaining on a very high level. There are many things that I could be grateful and proud of - but most of them are academic and well... that girl has currently the same academic achievements as myself - which she achieved with way more elegance than I did (shout out to b/p-ing and crying myself through exam seasons!)
Additionally to the anger I'm feeling towards myself for not being good/disciplined/smart/patient/whatever enough I'm also angry at the universe? I know, it's the way things just are, but it feels so... unfair? How come she is and has everything I've ever wanted and is just living and I'm a messy pile of blob with depression and an ED, trying not to break completely.
Of course, I don't know everything about her. I'm sure she has valid insecurities of her own, big and small battles she's fighting every day and things she's working hard for, but whenever I see her I can't help but feel completely defeated, ready to just give up.
It's pathetic, isn't it?. Instead of focusing on my studies, relationships, hobbies and work, I'm focusing on an innocent girl and on the fact that I'll never reach a superficial form of perfection that is mostly tied to my weight and overall looks.
[Rant/Rave] I thought things were getting better. [Rant]
/u/zombiesecs [5'1.5" | CW:135|-45lb| GW: 120| F]
Created: Fri Dec 8 08:31:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ifo3x/i_thought_things_were_getting_better_rant/
---
I've never been very committed to my purging habit. It's embarrassing to admit being fair weather bulimic but still overweight (5'2" 135#). I've typically used purging as a punishment for self disgust; weight loss was just a perk. I travel for work, which means I frequently eat out those weeks (read: binge, no portion control, etc.). It's gotten to the point where I don't even realize I'm purging until it's all done. So, I'm trying to change jobs with less travel to take back my control.
Meanwhile I started CrossFit, which I love. I feel like I earn 1500 calories instead of my normal 1200 when I work out. I haven't been losing weight, but I have been losing fat and loose skin from my previous weight loss. I've become less obsessive over the number on the scale and stopped purging at home. Healthy, right? Nope! I think I've made my mental state worse. I hurt my knee and was out of the gym for a week. The amount of self loathing I felt after I ate anything was off the charts. Urgh. Just gotta get this off my chest to someone. Thanks, internet strangers for listening.
[Rant/Rave] Why have laxatives when you have coffee?
/u/Ironicbanana14
Created: Fri Dec 8 08:31:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ifo0l/why_have_laxatives_when_you_have_coffee/
---
I always fucking forget that coffee basically does the same thing to me as 2 laxatives. I mean idk if I should be glad its natural or if I should be sad cuz I really love drinking coffee but I don't want to suffer afterwards lol.
[Rant/Rave] DAE get compliments and dwell on them forever
/u/lavenderbruises [5'9"|CW 109| GW 100| BMI 15.87| 19F]
Created: Fri Dec 8 08:27:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ifn9z/dae_get_compliments_and_dwell_on_them_forever/
---
Way back in high school (aka 2.5 years ago), I was actually semi pretty. But time is a cruel mistress and now nursing school has given me forehead lines and bad skin.
I remember one day in class, this guy told me, “Hey, you should be a model.” Another girl agreed with him. It was honestly the best compliment I had ever received in my life. A few days later, my friends told me that this same guy was talking to other people in his class how “lavenderbruises totally looks like a model.”
I was even one of the nominees for “most likely to be a supermodel” in my school yearbook. Didnt win, obviously, but it still boosted my self esteem by 1000%.
I’m still riding on that high after nearly 3 years. Those compliments are seriously what is fueling my current existence. Lol tfw I peaked in high school.
[Discussion] Anyone here use blogilates?
/u/vctrlcs [5'6" | CW: 154.5 | GW: 130 | UGW: 115 | BMI: 24.9 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 8 08:21:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iflvd/anyone_here_use_blogilates/
---
I'm really bored with my hour-a-day elliptical sessions and bodyweight exercises but you all know better than anyone I can't NOT exercise. So I'm thinking of trying the blogilates calendar. Has anyone tried any of their workouts/ have any thoughts?
[Discussion] How high would you rank “being skinny” as a priority?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 8 08:10:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ifjfn/how_high_would_you_rank_being_skinny_as_a_priority/
---
[deleted]
[Other] Does lower belly fat ever go away?
/u/ParanoidPancreas [5'11" | CW 154 | 20.7 | GW 138 | 25F]
Created: Fri Dec 8 07:56:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ifg3k/does_lower_belly_fat_ever_go_away/
---
I have never had a flat stomach in my life. I don't know whether it's due to my anatomy, but I always retain pudge around the lower part of my belly near my uterus. It's extremely frustrating and when I get bloated, I can look pregnant.
I've lost 20 lbs at this point and while I see a big difference, I still have that pudge there. :/ my goal weight is 15 lbs away.. Will that make a difference?
Why
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 8 07:50:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iff07/why/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] those fb ads about binge eating disorder...
/u/blackcoffeegreentea [5'9" | 145 | 21.4 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 8 07:50:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ifewg/those_fb_ads_about_binge_eating_disorder/
---
rant, but on mobile so can’t flair...
you know those ads? i just scrolled by one advertising a research study for binge eating disorder. the photo was of a young, healthy-looking, pretty teenage girl about to bite into a pink-sprinkled donut. there was no other food in the image anywhere, so it looked like one donut was her binge... she wasn’t smiling because she was posed mid-bite, but her expression looked happy and calm.
now, i know that a picture of a depressed person lying in bed with food stains on their shirt, tear stains on their face, skin problems, piles of empty food containers all around, and double fisting more food into their mouth would maybe not be an attractive ad... but one cute pink donut?
even eating disorders are supposed to look “pretty” now?
just wanted to get that out...
😡
[Help] Will I ever have small hips and thighs as a pear shape?
/u/vitalogy95
Created: Fri Dec 8 07:49:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ifemz/will_i_ever_have_small_hips_and_thighs_as_a_pear/
---
I feel like every part of me is fat, but my hip to waste ratio puts me at a pear shape. I was reading that people with pear shapes maintain their shape even when they lose weight. So am I just always going to look huge?
[Rant/Rave] Bloated and crying
/u/datnastaythrowaway [H 164 | CW 56kg | GW: 50kg]
Created: Fri Dec 8 07:38:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ifcdw/bloated_and_crying/
---
I had a horrible two day binge amounting to somewhere around 8000 calories.
I feel horrible.
I'm so bloated and I can't stop crying.
I feel so fucking hideous
My boyfriend thinks I'm crazy and won't let me not eat today
I hate myself so fucking much
I'm such a fat worthless piece of shit
I'm too much of a coward to actually kill myself, but if someone could just do it for me that would be great, thanks.
[Rant/Rave] I went to counseling for the first time.
/u/ASmallGardenFairy [지방 | 5'7 | -46lbs | 🎉]
Created: Fri Dec 8 06:25:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iexqe/i_went_to_counseling_for_the_first_time/
---
I’m in forced counseling right now (yay) for my bulimia.
I’m definitely willing to give it a try but I’m going to be honest and say I’m skeptical. I’m scheduled for once a week for the time being.
She asked what some of my behaviors were and I was honest in how often I b/p and how many calories I restrict at. How the conversation went made me physically cringe and i couldn’t stop laughing.
“So how many calories do you restrict a day?”
“Well I eat 500 calories when I’m not b/p”
“Oh, don’t people need 1200 a day?”
Y’all what the fuck. I’m 5’7 and 141. I laughed for a solid 2 minutes. 💀🤦🏻♀️
[Rant/Rave] Me trying to make my depressed ass feel better:
/u/slave2thepoon [169cm | CW 55 | GW 50 | 21F]
Created: Fri Dec 8 06:01:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iet9g/me_trying_to_make_my_depressed_ass_feel_better/
---
At least falling back into depression means it’s easier to keep your ed habits consistent because you don’t have the energy to fight it anymore which means you’ll probably start losing again 🙃
(On mobile, can’t flair or change stats :((()
[Rant/Rave] Flavoured water with a shitload of calories?!?!? [rant]
/u/pikapika350
Created: Fri Dec 8 05:53:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ieru4/flavoured_water_with_a_shitload_of_calories_rant/
---
So I want to buy a drink before work to keep me refreshed and all that. Go to the shop, eye up the 7Up Free (quietly mourn my inability to have caffeine so no more Pepsi max 😭) but then I think "hey I should get some water instead!" so I go over to the other fridge where the water is. And lo and behold, flavoured water! The best of both worlds. I grab lemon & lime and strawberry, and toddle over to the till happily to pay. All is well. Up until I leave the store and look at the bottles. I hadn't had a proper chance to beforehand as the fridges are right by the till in the queue. I look at the first one, and I'm confused. 49kcal in 250ml? No way. I check the other one. 47kcal. 10+g of sugar in both as well. I horrified. I can't return it, it's water! What would I tell the girl at the till! So sadly I accept my fate. I guess I'm just having water for lunch then 😫
Update : the strawberry one is real gross, like it just doesn't taste good even disregarding the calories, I've had about 40kcal of it and I'm tempted to empty it out and refill the bottle with tap water and attempt to fob the lemon lime one off on someone who would like it better :b
[Rant/Rave] SSRIs
/u/flaaffyusedthunder
Created: Fri Dec 8 05:32:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ieob9/ssris/
---
I guess this is a rant/rave.
I’m bulimic, and my doctor prescribed me CELEXA to help with my eating disorder. All I can think about is how it’s going to take the pleasure from binging away, so I can restrict better!!
I’m going to lose 20 pounds for my wedding yaaayyy!
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! December 08, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Dec 8 05:13:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ielbm/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for December 08, 2017.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! December 08, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Dec 8 05:13:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ielaw/daily_food_diary_december_08_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 08, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] I just masturbated to the smell of bacon
/u/prosperouspaperclip
Created: Fri Dec 8 04:57:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ieiqx/i_just_masturbated_to_the_smell_of_bacon/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I feel like I'd never heard of EC stacking before and now I see it everywhere I look.
/u/InterchangeableMoon
Created: Fri Dec 8 04:31:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ieevx/i_feel_like_id_never_heard_of_ec_stacking_before/
---
And I'm not going to lie: it sounds tempting. I even saved the infographic from the post that got deleted the other day about it in case I wanted to try it.
But now I can't stop thinking about wanting to try it.
I've used stimulants as appetite suppressants (never got addicted though) and almost constantly end up in a terrible mood crash. Suicidal, bawling, calling hotlines, screaming at my friends and family on the phone about how I'd be better off dead, The works.
And now this.
I don't know if I feel relieved to have another thing to try or if I'm being stupid or impulsive by even looking into it. I'm getting paranoid that I'm getting put on a watch list looking at Canadian pharmacies and $17 shipping. And I can't stop thinking about it. At the gym, I'm thinking about how I'd feel if I had more energy. At home, I think about how nice it'd be if I didn't have to worry about food or eating or feeling hungry. I'm googling everything I can, I'm reading studies about it, I'm awake now, at 3:30am writing about it.
I don't wanna say I'm triggered but this has piqued a really morbid curiosity of mine, and I don't know what I'm going to do.
[Discussion] DAE still live with their parents?
/u/finnkat
Created: Fri Dec 8 03:20:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ie4rr/dae_still_live_with_their_parents/
---
I feel like a 13yo posting this lol, but I'm poor and in between jobs so I still live with my mom. I try to store my food upstairs so she won't find it, which makes buying food that needs refrigeration or freezing almost impossible. I'm already pretty skinny and was hospitalized for an eating disorder when I was 12 (which she believes I'm over) so I feel like she would freak out if she saw all the diet foods I have. I don't know, it seem like most people in this sub either live alone or with roommates/boyfriends who don't care or have no control over you and what you buy/eat, so it would just be nice to know I'm not alone in having to hide everything every day. Also any tips would be welcome too lol.
[Rant/Rave] I have been gaining and losing the same 30lb since I was 15
/u/tartansheep [5'9.5|23.61 | 166lb|-1lb| GW:115lb]
Created: Fri Dec 8 02:31:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7idy28/i_have_been_gaining_and_losing_the_same_30lb/
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I am at nearly my highest weight and I hate it and I can’t seem to lose weight. I am on an atypical antipsychotic for bipolar which causes weight gain and I can’t shift it.
But it’s about fucking time. Restricting to under 1000 calories a day which is a lot, I know, but I work retail and I am on my feet for eight hours a day.
I am so sick of starting again.
[Discussion] Treatment??
/u/skinthin [5'2| 100 | 18.3 | 35 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Dec 8 02:04:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7idug2/treatment/
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My therapist and psychiatrist want to send me to Kentucky for ED treatment because of how much weight I have lost and how fast, and even mentioned me being at risk for organ failure, but I'm not "sickly" thin and I don't feel sick enough to seek help. I completely regret opening up about my disordered eating, but I couldn't lie about how I lost so much weight so fast, and truthfully I was tired of keeping it a secret. What is treatment like? How much weight would I be expected to gain if I complied? I truly just want to jump ship and live however I want, but at the same time I don't think this is something I can ever just snap out of. I'm confused and I'm scared.
[Goal] Friday fasting fun!
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Fri Dec 8 01:41:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7idrb2/friday_fasting_fun/
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I usually do OMAD IF but F it, I’m going for a 42 hour fast this week. I’ve been so good not compensating for vacation eating last week but I’m over it. I feel like a whale so 42 hour fast and pretty much exercising all day today and tomorrow. Fasting gives me a high so hoping I can make it with all the exercise.
[Help] Am I wrong? Am I in danger?
/u/glorydaisy [5'3 | CW 123 | UGW 100]
Created: Fri Dec 8 01:04:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7idlhw/am_i_wrong_am_i_in_danger/
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I see lots of people say things like "I'll be expected to eat tonight so I'll just fast the whole day until dinner to make up for it!" I do this *everyday*. Is there something wrong that I'm not seeing anyone else doing it? I feel out of the loop and if I'm doing something potentially dangerous I want to know about it.
[Help] Day out, do i even bother?
/u/glorydaisy [5'3 | CW 123 | UGW 100]
Created: Fri Dec 8 00:42:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7idi2f/day_out_do_i_even_bother/
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My mom wants to take me to see a musical with her tomorrow. She's also going with her husband so I can say no if I don't want to go. If I go, it's too far away for her to come back and get me and still get to the show on time. So I have to go to work with her tomorrow morning and wander around Columbus for eight hours. No doubt, gonna burn some calories, but food is a really social thing for my mother, and she's been telling me about this Spanish place she wants us to try (Columbus is one of the top foodie cities in the country). I'm honestly so scared of eating out with my mom, and I just got back to the weight I'm supposed to be right now. I'm panicking. I don't want to miss out and isolate from my family, but I don't know if I can handle another setback this week.
[Help] Lemon, cinnamon + honey
/u/yungbrrrat [5'8 | 140 | 21.5 | OSFED]
Created: Fri Dec 8 00:13:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7idd6p/lemon_cinnamon_honey/
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So I'm currently 18 hours in to a 24 hr fast, and i'm craving that one drink of lemon cinnamon and honey in hot water. I've heard it's good for you? I wanna know if it is /actually/ good for weight loss/appetite or if it's psuedoscience. Anyone know anything about it?
[Rant/Rave] I'm Drunk and Close to a Mental Break Down - A Pathetic Story as Told by K
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 8 00:00:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7idazr/im_drunk_and_close_to_a_mental_break_down_a/
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[deleted]
When You Accidentally Mention Your Body Issues To Your SO And They Dismiss It As You Being A Woman
/u/Flesh_Daddy_
Created: Thu Dec 7 23:58:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7idanz/when_you_accidentally_mention_your_body_issues_to/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Studied through hunger pangs all day only to come home and binge
/u/awayimeow [5'3 | 99lbs | 17.54 | 21F]
Created: Thu Dec 7 23:14:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7id33n/studied_through_hunger_pangs_all_day_only_to_come/
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Spent the whole day trying to focus with an empty stomach because I've already eaten way too much this week. Then I came home and ate half a cake in like 10 minutes... and now I look about 6 months pregnant. Why do I even bother?
[Rant/Rave] Honestly hate my coworker.
/u/HighNoonImDad [5'10 | CW: 169 | ♀]
Created: Thu Dec 7 22:54:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7icz1g/honestly_hate_my_coworker/
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So I'm not a frequent poster (more of a lurker) but I just needed to rant to some people who understand EDs.
Recently this 61 year old lady started working at the bakery I make cakes at and she has been driving me insane. Not only does she overstep her boundaries trying to get me to do stuff for her but she is so rude.
Recently at work she's been trying to pry into my life, and when I haven't reveiled anythings she's now become offensive, I think trying to shock me into revelling info about myself I wouldn't share. See her daughter does drugs and tried to kill herself and she thinks I'm just like her daughter. At first it was off handed comments about cutting which I know she was making just to test me, anyone whos seen my arms has seen the scars, I don't have to admit to it. She'll say "cutters" (i HATE that word) are hard to trust and self absorbed. But recently she's been making comments when I eat like how I could stand to not eat a small (literally quarter sized) cookie when its the only thing I've ate. She even had the balls to ask if I'm bulimic (which I am but never admitted to) just because my teeth aren't shaped normal.
MY TEETH HAVE NEVER BEEN SHAPED NORMAL ITS NOT THE ACID THAT MADE THEM LIKE THIS. It's so triggering and its making me we want to fall back into these habits hardcore and ignore the progress I've made. I've spoken to my manager but unfortunately theres not much that can be done. I REALLY like my job whenever she's not around but I'm starting to get anxious about even going in because she can't stop projecting her issues with her daughter on me, and trying to figure out my life so she can "fix me."
Ugh. Anyway sorry for ranting! Thanks for listening.
[Discussion] Do you measure your image by weight, bmi, bf%, or physical characteristics?
/u/I_give_up_258
Created: Thu Dec 7 22:31:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7icuec/do_you_measure_your_image_by_weight_bmi_bf_or/
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I personally don't care about weight or bmi, but I really care about body fat % and physical characteristics like if I can see my ribs, if I can wrap my arm around stuff, etc. I'm just curious what everyone else goes by~
[Help] Issue w/ a friend, help me i’m confused!!
/u/spencerhastingsirl [5'6 | 127 | 20.5 | GW: 110]
Created: Thu Dec 7 22:28:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ictty/issue_w_a_friend_help_me_im_confused/
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Hi guys! I’ve been lurking for awhile and thinking about posting this, and I think it’s the right time. fair warning, this is going to be long, it’s a lot of info that i’m trying to condense/identify important facts. i just got home from work and my brain is a bit fried so if something doesn’t make sense i’m happy to clarify!
anyway, on to my issue. I made a friend through an ED instagram account a few years back. I was a freshman in HS and had just gone from being a very thin, healthy, athlete to gaining 40lbs due to binging/depression/medication issues! (mainly medication increased my hunger, i didn’t know how to deal and gained weight after i began binging.)
I truly regret the day I ever stumbled upon MPA, and tried to start restricting as a way to control the binging, but that’s another story. Soon after finding MPA, I joined the ED instagram community and we became friends. She had a very popular account, and I idolized her, so I felt so special when she wanted to be friends. She’s a decent handful of years older than I am (mid 20s) and truly is a very sweet, cool, talented girl.
We’ve talked for the better part of the past few years about restricting and my binging and so on. She’s very good at low restricting and was in treatment bc things got so severe when she was in high school. Due to this, we have very different kinds of habits (me binging, her restricting) but both struggle with disordered eating.
I just have a weird feeling lately (the past year, I guess) about us, like a toxic kinda feeling. I’ve grown a lot in the past few months, and figured out how to end my binging in the past few weeks. (thank you brain over binge!!)
Once the binging ended I’ve begun to realize that I’m feeling much less disordered in my thoughts than I have been in years.
I kind of get the feeling she’s relapsing pretty hard (not like she wasn’t restricting before but she’s very intense lately,) and has always encouraged me to restrict lower with her. She usually ends up telling me that higher restricting doesn’t work (whether passive aggressively or straight up) and she always ends up saying something along the lines of “isn’t it so much more satisfying/worth it to restrict lower and lose faster?” when I (occasionally) can get myself to restrict lower.
She has just started a new tumblr and instagram and I get the feeling that she wants to be popular on there again. She still has photos of her (used as thinspo) floating around tumblr from when she was at her LW with thousands of notes on them and I know and loves it.
Basically, my question is: should I end this relationship because my gut is telling me that it’s no good? If so, how do I go about this?
She has been there to support me in the past and me there to support her, but I feel like to a degree she wants to drag me back down with her, and nothing I say will stop her from going to that dark place again. I’m scared for her but I also want to save myself.
I know this has turned into a very long ramble, and i’m so truly grateful to anyone who wants to read this and give me advice. I sincerely hope this does not make me sound like a hypocrite or judgemental or mean, I am just truly very confused and am not sure who to talk to about this. I understand that this could come off as cruel to some and that is not my intention in any way. We are all struggling. This is less about her disordered behaviors and more about the way she influences me.
I worry that if I end the relationship something will happen because she has my bodychecks on our imessage history, knows my real insta, facebook, identity, etc.
I may delete this later because even though i know she’s not really on reddit I still worry. sending you guys all my love xo
Edit: formatting, clarifying, spelling, etc.
ETA a TL;DR: I just want to find a pathway back to losing weight healthily, and I feel tied down to a toxic friend while she tries to pull me in the other direction. I am tired.
[Rant/Rave] The "new" BMI calculator
/u/NIN_88 [5'3 | SW: 128 | CW: 108 | GW:88 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 7 21:55:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7icmb0/the_new_bmi_calculator/
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So I calculated what my "new" BMI would be compared to the standard BMI and apparently I get 0.5 points more.
AND ALL BECAUSE OF MY DAMN HEIGHT!
honestly, this really made me depressed and now I just want to lose more weight until I'm considered thin enough according to society's standards. And because the damn creator obviously hates short people and thinks I'll never be good enough.
Fuck my life. Rant over.
[Discussion] "Dietitian says"... She can't be right?
/u/AriesXO [5'6 | 133 | 21.76 | -35 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 7 21:30:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7icgio/dietitian_says_she_cant_be_right/
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Hi Beauties!
I realized recently that you don't just "grow out" of an eating disorder. Being that I'm 32, I wish I learnt a bit sooner. But I decided to go to see a Dietican rather a therapist since I can only afford one. My logic: make sure my brain has enough energy to make smart decisions before I start therapy.
So I had my initial assessment on Tuesday, it's now Thursday and I still can't bring myself to go to the grocery store. My RD advised to eat WHITE rice, WHITE bread to help reduce the bloating. Has anyone heard of this before. Kind of makes me nervous.
Eekk
[Help] Can someone help me convince myself I need to eat?
/u/lordjoji [5'3" | CW: 103 | 18.2 | CGW: 100 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 7 20:35:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ic22l/can_someone_help_me_convince_myself_i_need_to_eat/
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I’m currently in my sophomore year of college and my semester final exams are next week. Rationally, I know that I need to eat so that I can do my best on my finals but it’s so hard not to give in to my fasting urges. I’m worried about spending Christmas at home and so I want to lose as much weight as possible before then and I’ve kind of lost my appetite because of all the exam stress. I don’t really know what I’m asking for, but I guess I just want someone to tell me that it’s okay to eat closer to my TDEE (which is a really sad plea and makes me feel stupid to ask). Also, does anyone have any low cal study snacks or tips for staying alert while studying? Thanks guys ❣️
[Discussion] Drunkabulimia?
/u/FGWDQHQ [5'7" | 123.6lbs | 19.3 | -43lbs| F]
Created: Thu Dec 7 20:27:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ic0f6/drunkabulimia/
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We've all heard about the people who save their calories for alcohol (holla), but is there anybody else like me who only (vom) purges when they drink? Like I don't even have to be drunk at ALL and I get queasy and am like "yup, this seems like a good idea now." I've only purged like 6 times in the past couple of years, max, but I'm pretty sure I've been drinking every time, and rarely have I drunk alcohol in that period without purging.
I also first started purging when I was really drunk, to alleviate the feelings of stomach upset [also then I could tell myself I wasn't really purging, just the good ol' puke and rally], but now it's like I'm conditioned to it and it takes so little alcohol for me to feel unwell. Anybody else?
[Other] Is it still purging if...
/u/Satrina_petrova [H5'2|CW113lbs|GW101|29F]
Created: Thu Dec 7 20:14:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ibxxq/is_it_still_purging_if/
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On mobile will tag later I just don't know how to label this.
Question. Is it still purging if...
I can just kinda will it to happen?
I binge eat/drink and once I've gotten past a certain point (ei. about 1000 call over tdee or 10oz of alcohol) I can just walk in the bathroom, kneel then make myself burp a lot and it comes right up. I throw up super easy though, (no heaving and wretching just blaaaah, spit out remainder, done) so IDK how harmful it really is.
And I'm not even trying to get rid of calories or mass I guess I just feel nauseated and like it's so easy to make myself feel better this way. I haven't done this sense the Sunday before Halloween I think and I don't plan on doing it again, but I've been doing this for about 15yrs just not excessively like maybe every 3 months or so. I don't know what I'm looking to hear. Thanks anyways.
[Rant/Rave] Always hungry.
/u/BadAsh3403
Created: Thu Dec 7 19:59:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ibupe/always_hungry/
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Just a quick rant-I get so frustrated when I’m with friends and they seem to eat so little. I could literally eat 3 or 4 times the amount they generally eat, despite being smaller than all of my friends/boyfriend. For example, I gained the courage to go to a local restaurant with a guy friend recently. He got pasta and maybe ate 6 bites. 75% of his meal was still on the plate! I genuinely do not understand.
Are they faking satiety? Do they go home and eat in secret? I feel like they’re trying to fuck with my head.
[Rant/Rave] Want to Start Again
/u/badlucklil
Created: Thu Dec 7 19:18:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iblvu/want_to_start_again/
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I stopped restricting when summer came and my boyfriend became my boyfriend. He likes me thicker and I'm afraid to start restricting again, afraid to lose him. But I hate how big I've gotten. I'm at least 190lbs... I'm going to start restricting but it has to be SECRET...
[Rant/Rave] I just want to dissapear - need to vent. Need someone to talk to. Need something.
/u/LostBrokenAndAfraid [5"10 | CW 195 | 170 | - 70 lbs | M]
Created: Thu Dec 7 19:10:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ibk9y/i_just_want_to_dissapear_need_to_vent_need/
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Hey all,
I'm sure people get sick and tired of my constant bitching and moaning on this forum, but I feel like it's the only place I can go to anymore to even discuss anything.
For the past few years, it's like I've just been a perpetual fuck-up. Everyone in my life treats me like I'm supposed to be something special, which is understandable because from the outside looking in, it definitely looks like I've got my shit together. Good grades, good university, good extracurriculars, all kinds of stuff.
But it's just not true.
Nobody knows the constant mental agony I've been in for the past 5 years. Every personal goal I have, all of my aspirations, everything that I know I could be without this demon looming in the background may as well not even exist.
For the past few months my relationships with my friends and family have been deteriorating - mostly due to the fact that I just don't give a shit about anything anymore. Why have friends? Why have people who supposedly give a shit about you?
I'm just so tired. Exhausted. Not even physically, but mentally. It's like the world is crashing down around me. It's almost like I'm just waiting until all of the bullshit finally catches up with me and it just comes crashing down.
"Oh you haven't binged for a week? Great stuff. Here, let's go to the store and consume 4000 calories in 30 minutes to celebrate, and then purge to go and compensate for it!"
Fuck this. Nobody deserves this. I wouldn't wish this kind of pain on my worst enemy.
[Rant/Rave] Gingerbread house flavored Halo Top
/u/TSputnik [5'3" | CW 129 | HW 210 | UGW 100]
Created: Thu Dec 7 17:55:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ib3pb/gingerbread_house_flavored_halo_top/
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360 calories a pint, so it's a bit heavier than some flavors, but still HOW IS THIS SO GOOD HOLY FUCK x4000 !!!
Has anyone else tried it yet? I think I've seen a lot of people post about holiday cravings and I feel like this could help them out. It's very creamy and gingery ♥
[Help] Can bulimia kill you?
/u/kittybunny75 [5'6 | CW:100 | BMI: 16.1 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 7 17:35:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iaz75/can_bulimia_kill_you/
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I just read online And I’m not sure if you can die or not. I’m really scared I don’t want anything to happen to me yet...
[Help] Having a hard time getting back to restricting
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Thu Dec 7 17:07:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iasph/having_a_hard_time_getting_back_to_restricting/
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You guys I have been eating regular/binge eating for the past week and I’m so fuckin mad about it. I’m up 5ish lbs that I’m hoping are mostly bloat and I haven’t felt good about myself in over a week.
I told myself I was going to start a 2-3 day fast today but now my friend wants to go out for drinks and I know I’m gonna want to eat too. Once I ingest anything my care goes out the window.
The issue is I keep going out with friends and drinking. If I was at home not doing anything i wouldn’t have an issue restricting.
What’s worse is that my ed issues feel pretty dormant right now, like I’m not hating myself for eating just the way my body looks because I’m so bloated. It’s fucked up but I wish the urges to restrict would come back and keep my strong. I need to get back to 110 ASAP.
[Rant/Rave] “You’re going to gain weight when you move back”
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW:142 |CW:123 |20.6 |GW:110 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 7 16:55:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iapyb/youre_going_to_gain_weight_when_you_move_back/
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So I’m moving back in with my parents in less than two months. I’ve been spending more time at their house and I’ve been able to trick them into thinking I’m eating and using smaller plates to make it look like I’m eating larger portions than I am.
I have little siblings and sat in one of their car seats as a joke with my parents (my brother fits in it too) but my dad said “look, she’s so small that she fits in the kids car seat. You know you’re going to gain weight when you move back in.” Then he made jokes about feeding me greasy burgers and stuff like that.
I can’t tell if my parents are joking, and they’re fine with me working out and stuff, but I’m so nervous that they’re actually going to try and feed me more. I hope I can pull this off and keep resting when I live here. I’m so nervous.
I’ve been telling them that I’m eating mostly fruit and protein. I also told them that I follow a keto diet, which they’re surprisingly okay with because they want to do keto as well.
I’m just nervous. I hope I’m just overthinking things. I don’t want to gain. Those comments about making me eat scare the shit out of me.
[Rant/Rave] Alone on an island
/u/light_as_a_feather04 [5'6 | 106 | 17.0 | GW: 98| 34/F]
Created: Thu Dec 7 16:54:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iaptp/alone_on_an_island/
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My job is fairly stressful. I’m a software developer and tester. I constantly have deadlines and ever changing tasks/priorities. I like to try and get at least 5 hours of sleep a night. My boyfriend stays up and plays COD until 4 am every. single. night. He gets loud and swears like a sailor (which doesn’t bother me but I have an 11 year old that also needs his sleep).
So last night he woke me up drunk lamenting how he hates himself and that I deserve better than him and yada yada...so I wake up at 6 am exhausted, took my son to school then went to work. I text my b/f to see if he was feeling better. No response. At 12on my break, I called him 4 times and it went to vm. He finally texted me at 1:00 that he just woke up and called out of work. Wtf?! I asked if he could help me out by getting some errands completed but no... he couldn’t be bothered. So it’s now almost 7 on and I’m still not home work because I had to go get my son from extended day and then get the groceries for his lunches... am I wrong for feeling irate? HE kept me up most of the night. Why does he get to take a day? I never get a mental health break and I’m about to snap.
Question: how do you get committed to a psych ward? I’m starting to think that’s the only way to get a vacation from life 🤪
Edit: Just weighed myself. 106.4. Maybe I should thank my boyfriend??
[Other] This library has a directory for topics people might be embarrassed to ask for.
/u/biggoldie
Created: Thu Dec 7 16:47:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iao40/this_library_has_a_directory_for_topics_people/
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https://i.redd.it/d4owjqz7hi201.jpg
[Other] Right up there with incest and STDs
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 7 16:43:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ian8i/right_up_there_with_incest_and_stds/
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https://i.redd.it/d4owjqz7hi201.jpg
[Help] Still not getting my period...anyone care to shed light on this?
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 57.1kg | BMI 18.86 |- 15kg | GW 52kg | 25F]
Created: Thu Dec 7 16:35:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ialjc/still_not_getting_my_periodanyone_care_to_shed/
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Okay, so I've not had my period for coming up to three months now.
I have had a fair few bingey days in the last few months coupled with a lot of restriction. Though at one point I was eating 1200kcal a day. My TDEE seems to be around 2000kcal. Starting on Monday I started restricting to 900kcal.
I'm stressed (I'm a teacher), but not overly stressed. My BMI isn't underweight. I'm an insomniac. I'm definitely not pregnant.
Anyone know why period could have gone?
[Discussion] Weird anxieties?
/u/kdawg210
Created: Thu Dec 7 16:33:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ial25/weird_anxieties/
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I was curious if anyone else has this similar feeling. Whenever I lose weight and see it on the scale half of me is stoked, and then the anxiety part of my brain (which constantly thinks I'm dying) starts freaking out. Idk, I guess I just want to know if anyone else deals with this strange confliction of ED and anxiety. It sucks honestly
On another note, holidays at my bfs house is kinda freaking me out (might as well rant while I'm here) it's the first time meeting all of them since they live in another state. I just hope they don't say things like "Oh ur so skinny, u should eat more, ect.) It's a huge pet peeve of mine. Maybe I'll snap and be "Oh ur so fat, maybe u should eat less" lol
Always & forever
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 7 16:32:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iaksu/always_forever/
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https://imgur.com/vCwPFMD
[Help] Alternatives to brokaid?
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW:142 |CW:123 |20.6 |GW:110 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 7 16:29:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iak33/alternatives_to_brokaid/
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I’m really nervous about going to a pharmacist and asking for bronkaid. Is there anything else I can use instead that still has ephedrine? I hear sudafed works too
[Rant/Rave] I am the only person in history who has *gained* weight with the flu.
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Thu Dec 7 16:26:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iaj8f/i_am_the_only_person_in_history_who_has_gained/
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I've eaten nothing but 140 calorie chicken soups and sugar free cough drops for days but the scale has moved up almost 5 pounds since this weekend. I thought getting the flu was supposed to make me woosh, but no. Now I'm sick, miserable, and fatter than ever.
[Rant/Rave] EC stack is crazy effective
/u/booger-burger69 [5'3 | CW: 117lbs | UGW 100lbs | -18lbs | 21F]
Created: Thu Dec 7 15:52:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7iab04/ec_stack_is_crazy_effective/
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I started yesterday and didn’t eat anything at all, continued today and still do not feel hungry at all. I want to see how long I can go without eating but I know that’s dangerous especially because I work on my feet all day (might chew and spit though because my parents know abt my problems with food and I don’t want to worry them by declining dinner tonight).
[Rant/Rave] I gave a go at only restricting for awhile. Some days went great, most days I would eat too much. Just now I had to make he decision to start purging again.
/u/IsAFailure [M 5'6 | CW: 118lbs | GW: Whatever it takes to like what I see]
Created: Thu Dec 7 15:31:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ia5td/i_gave_a_go_at_only_restricting_for_awhile_some/
---
I was about to get in the bath to relax (before changing it to a shower and going to work) and I went downstairs to grab a Diet Pepsi for my refreshing bath beverage. Even though I was freezing my ass off downstairs, I managed to somehow make a bologna sandwich, grab my soda, and a full family bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. I had already eaten all that I wanted to until break at work and I go ahead and eat a whole damn bag of Doritos and a bologna sandwich.
I couldn't let that all stay inside so I purged and I guess I'm just gonna have to start again because of how awful I am with cravings. Thank god I managed to get all of it out though.
[Rant/Rave] this is so annoying
/u/audreybelle_
Created: Thu Dec 7 15:21:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ia36t/this_is_so_annoying/
---
i’m already at 1100 calories for the day, and i haven’t even eaten dinner yet. all i can thank about is chipotle, french fries, fried chicken, milkshakes, and ice cream. let’s pray for the best?
I hate my boss
/u/lavendargirl [5'1" | 145 :( | 28.61| F]
Created: Thu Dec 7 14:54:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i9wqo/i_hate_my_boss/
---
I'm going through a gnarly break up... Moved out of my house to my sisters. Let's just say I lost all control of my whole life this past weekend...therefore, I haven't eaten anything except small things for four days now....well I work at a call center and to get us pumped and the energy going good, hes making us all stand for an hour. I got mad and rude towards him for the first time because I don't have any fucking energy! This is getting so hard...I'm literally getting dizzy and I can feel that I can't support myself like this. Everyone at work thinks I'm being a bitch....I know I am...but I work at a call center for a reason...
Sorry everyone! I just had to vent!
[Rant/Rave] My therapist just lectured me about fatlogic.
/u/shapay199
Created: Thu Dec 7 14:28:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i9qrs/my_therapist_just_lectured_me_about_fatlogic/
---
I’m so frustrated. I just got a new therapist and I actually really like her think it’s overall good for me to go. But today she explained to me the concept of starvation mode and I just sit there like smiling, nodding thinking “ffs you are a licensed professional??!”. I tried challenging her a little by saying how I don’t understand how that’s physiologically possible but she was set on that if I restrict AT ALL I’m going to gain weight in the long run and that I either have to accept “my natural weight” or starve for the rest of my life. I’m so bummed because I don’t know how someone who doesn’t even have her facts straight can help me with my ED. Meh :(
[Thinspo] In need of reverse thinspo sites/subs
/u/proEDthrowaway0
Created: Thu Dec 7 14:05:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i9l67/in_need_of_reverse_thinspo_sitessubs/
---
Hi everyone. I want some reverse thinspo to keep me motivated. FPH on Voat pretty much sucks because there's so many misogynist, alt-right garbage people there (and it's SO much meaner than the original). I like /r/fatlogic but it's not really reverse thinspo. /r/reversethinspo subreddit is dead. What else is out there?
Edit: I just want to state that I'm not looking for a place to be a dick to/about fat people. I just find reverse thinspo helps me.
[Rant/Rave] Scales can suck it
/u/pm_me_ur_eyeholez
Created: Thu Dec 7 13:11:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i99qh/scales_can_suck_it/
---
Jk might as well be attached to one. Here's a rant.
Someone explain what the fuck is wrong with me.
Since the 1st December, my net has been below 500, with the exception of the 2nd - my sister had some bride shit going on and and my bf played a show so netted 1468 bc BOOZE.
HAVE I LOST THIS WEEK? NO! I've gained a fucking pound this week. I've weighed myself every single day and that pound won't go away. I drink 100oz of water a day, I keep my sodium low, and I haven't touched alcohol all week. I'm not on my period. In fact, I'm ovulating and my BMR should be increased. I've worked out every single day.
I'm at a high weight you guys. Like BMI over 30 high. I should be losing, and losing a lot. Instead here I am fucking around on a scale every day and wondering why my body hates me. I'm too fat for starvation mode. Why the fuck am I doing all this and suffering from restriction induced insomnia if I'm not even gonna see a manifestation of my hard work and self control???? (Answer: bc I HATE MYSELF YAY)
Silver lining? Since I've started restricting (Nov 1) I have lost 2.5 inches in my waist. That's nice, but not what I care about.
fuck scales. But not really.
I’m high and reallyyy want some popcorn but I don’t want to mess up my restricting 😩
/u/mina1200
Created: Thu Dec 7 13:10:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i99g0/im_high_and_reallyyy_want_some_popcorn_but_i_dont/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Fuck me
/u/th3Y3ti
Created: Thu Dec 7 12:39:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i91h3/fuck_me/
---
I weighed myself for the first time in 2 weeks today. 119. Fuck. I knew I was on the higher end of what I'd like to be, but I just did a 48 hour fast and yesterday was sub 800 calories. Fuck me for ruining all the progress I had made before thanksgiving and then just running with the momentum instead of getting a fucking grip after the week was over (that would at least be forgivable). But no, I had to go and gain 9 pounds.
And on top of all that I have finals. And then I'm going home, and I'm going to see a boy that I'm pretty sure I'm in love with.
I wanted so badly to be at my low weight (if not even lower) when I saw him. But thanks to my impulsive gluttonous ass it's going to be physically impossible to lose that much before I see him.
Damnit.
So now I'm panicking and checking multiple weighty calculators trying to figure out how I can lose enough to not hate my body when I see him.
I feel so immature and silly. I'm 23 for god's sake, I'm in grad school. I'm an adult goddamnit! But I'm letting this turn me into some out of control irrational silly little girl.
[Rant/Rave] Self-sabotage is easily the thing I have the biggest issue with.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW: 143.2 | UGW 105 | 25/F]
Created: Thu Dec 7 12:36:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i90kk/selfsabotage_is_easily_the_thing_i_have_the/
---
I've been riding between 141 and 145 for a month and a half. I could have easily hit the 130s by now. But I haven't and it's driving me nuts.
The 130s hold a lot of memories for me. I tend to remember things via weights and not dates. I know what happened at 139 and 134 and 137. Last time I was at 130, I was rejected from my dream job.
I also am trying to keep my mother off my back for weight loss and justified myself eating too much. I'd get too comfortable seeing a low number on the scale and then fuck it up. Over and over.
I just need to push into the 130s. Once I get over that wall, I'll feel in control again. I'm so fucking close.
Self-sabotage is so stupid. It's like running a race, seeing the finish line, and deciding to face plant on the pavement instead.
It's not rocket science. Just keep going.
[Rant/Rave] A collection of rants
/u/2017HeyJude [ 1.59m | CW 48.7kg/107lb | GW 45kg/99lb | BMI 19.2]
Created: Thu Dec 7 12:16:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i8vb9/a_collection_of_rants/
---
[please flare, sorry I’m on mobile]
I just need to rant and rave and put it down before I explode.
~ I hit a new LW (48.2kg) this morning so of course I’ve eaten waaay more today. BECAUSE LOGIC.
~ My SO is always making food and eggnog and ordering pizza and I just want to have a 60cal soup every meal but I can’t.
~ I’m seeing my therapist in a week and I have no idea what to tell him. (Been seeing him for a year but just started to talk about eating issues lately)
~ I’ve ordered Ephedrine online because fuck it.
~ Every kg I lose I feel fatter, dysmorphobia is a bitch.
~ I’ve also started drinking coffee even though it makes my whole body feel shaky.
~ I just dream of a whole week with no work, nobody home, just tea and coffee and 20cal crackers.
~ I want people to notice how bad I’m doing but also I just want to be left alone. BECAUSE LOGIC AGAIN.
~ Reading your posts here makes me feel less alone in this and some are even downright funny, I’m truly happy to have found this safe heaven.
~ Wishing you all a wonderful end of the week!
[Rant/Rave] Motivation gone and also I hate myself
/u/carlems [5'2| CW: 101,8 | GW: 97 | -19]
Created: Thu Dec 7 12:02:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i8rvj/motivation_gone_and_also_i_hate_myself/
---
So I've gained 4 kg/8-ish pounds (?not sure but probably something around that) in a short time. Seems like nothing, feels like everything. Everyday I see myself getting fatter and fatter but still I can't find the self-control, I just keep on binging and hating myself and binging again and so the cycle goes and I'm so so afraid that I can't stop. I know I can do it, I've done it before, but the constant hatred of my body is making me so tired and I just feel lost. What if I can't get my motivation and determination back?
Sorry, I needed to vent a little bit. I hope you all are doing well. I hope I'll be doing well someday too. Right now I'm just a big disgusting pile of worthlessness.
[Other] Dating while restricting is really goddamn hard
/u/mintslut [4'11 | CW: 111.2 | UGW: 84 | -12.4lbs | F]
Created: Thu Dec 7 11:51:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i8osz/dating_while_restricting_is_really_goddamn_hard/
---
https://i.imgur.com/18zndCb.jpg
[Discussion] DAE get weirdly reminiscent when they hit a goal weight?
/u/Stringbean123
Created: Thu Dec 7 11:49:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i8oje/dae_get_weirdly_reminiscent_when_they_hit_a_goal/
---
Sorry if this doesn't make any sense. But like whenever I hit a weight I have previously been at before (relapse/recov cycle) I always end up thinking all day about when I last weighed that much and how I felt then and how I feel now. Like this morning i weighed in at 112 and I could remember when I was in high school and that was my fucking highest weight. I wanted to be proud bc my NEW highest weight is 140 so I have come a long way. But my ed makes it so hard to enjoy any sort of weight loss bc all I can think about is how fat I felt at this weight BEFORE I ~recovered~ the first time. Ugh. Maybe I should have tagged this rant lol sorry, friends.
[Rant/Rave] Gross salad
/u/Elizawitch [5'3" | Female | CW: 100lbs | GW: 90lbs | UGW: 85lbs]
Created: Thu Dec 7 11:44:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i8n3k/gross_salad/
---
I saw someone posted about their ruined latte the other day and I felt so bad because I know how that feels.
For lunch today (I intern at my mom's job) she made me get a salad from this place and looking at the ingredients, you could tell they had been sitting out for a long time. I'm so grossed out I've lost my appetite and my mother is forcing me to eat it. I'm trying not to cry in front of her coworkers but I'm so upset.
[Discussion] DAE get hypochondria induced binges?
/u/am_i_the_grasshole [5'7 | CW:118 | 18.5 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 7 11:32:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i8jt8/dae_get_hypochondria_induced_binges/
---
Like where I'll be restricting successfully then out of nowhere sudddenly become hyper aware of my own heartbeat and even if everyhting's normal and fine I'll just get panicky for no reason that something's wrong with me. It's almost like I'm hallucinating symptoms of being severely underweight every so often and it makes me snap out of it, except not in a rational way where I decide to stop restricting way. In a momentary manic omg I"m dying, must eat everything in sight way, that I regret super hard two seconds after.
It's almost like moments of rationality/recovery/prioritizing health first, but in a stupid useless and very short term way.
[Other] :(
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Thu Dec 7 11:13:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i8dqz/_/
---
i’ve stayed under 200calories every day this week and now just binged 800 calories which is huge for me :( feeling so sad and angry and worthless
Listen to the song "I feel a sin coming on" and replace 'sin' with 'binge'
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 7 11:09:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i8cbe/listen_to_the_song_i_feel_a_sin_coming_on_and/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i8cbe/listen_to_the_song_i_feel_a_sin_coming_on_and/
[Discussion] DAE get sick satisfaction from Mukbang videos?
/u/throwawayformyanon
Created: Thu Dec 7 10:05:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i7v3k/dae_get_sick_satisfaction_from_mukbang_videos/
---
I love watching people eat when I’m fasting. There’s something so satisfying about watching someone eat so much when I can’t. Anyone else?
[Help] Is it still fasting if I drink diet soda?
/u/vitalogy95
Created: Thu Dec 7 10:03:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i7umt/is_it_still_fasting_if_i_drink_diet_soda/
---
I’ve been doing intermittent fasts, about 16-17 hours a day. Sometimes more, but never less than 16. I’m doing it for the health benefits but also because it helps me to overall eat less.
I usually don’t eat until noon or 1 pm, so at first I was needing coffee with cream and sugar to get me through. I know that’s not technically fasting because it has calories but it was a good baby step for me.
Now I only have water and Coke Zero, but I’m wondering now if the Coke Zero is technically breaking my fast or taking away from possible health benefits.
Any advice or info on this is appreciated!
[Discussion] How to get through the nausea?
/u/ashirun97
Created: Thu Dec 7 09:07:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i7fuw/how_to_get_through_the_nausea/
---
I’m fasting and while I’m not hungry, I get nauseous and bad headaches. It’s annoying because if I only had a growling stomach I would be fine.
Any tips on how to combat the nausea and headaches that come from fasting?
I just want to feel clean and empty for once :(
[Discussion] trouble breathing while purging?
/u/peachkissbabylips
Created: Thu Dec 7 08:42:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i79jo/trouble_breathing_while_purging/
---
i’ve been purging for maybe a year and a half now and it seems like this wasn’t a big problem until recently. lately i go to purge and so much mucus builds up in my throat way more than it used to. and i have to reach deeper which together make it really easy to block my breathing and i keep having to gasp for air. i’m not sure what i was doing before that worked better has anyone else had this problem? or have any tips to get past this?
[Help] Is it possible to get close to calculating calories after a binge? The numbers seem low..
/u/motivatedcactus
Created: Thu Dec 7 08:32:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i775m/is_it_possible_to_get_close_to_calculating/
---
So I didn’t really just binge. It wasn’t that much at least I think. but I hadn’t eaten very much in a couple days and I was finally home alone so I ate as much as I could. I went back and I really spread the peanut butter and jelly and butter on the pieces of bread so that I could calculate how much it might weigh. I Did that for everything that I ate and I think I might get pretty close to the calories that I had but it came out to 928 and I feel like it should be more. Here’s a list if anyone wants to help out. Has anyone counted calories after a binge and been confident in their counting skills?
6 marshmallows - 135
2 sheets graham crackers - 130
Rye bread (5 oz) - 310
Peanut butter (12g) - 71
Jelly (.25 oz) - 25
Butter (3g) - 21
BBQ chips (.5oz) - 75
Whole milk (8oz) - 160
Like I said I got a separate piece of bread and re-spread the condiments try and get an accurate weight but it does seem very low for what it is
I was putting the marshmallows in between the graham crackers and putting in the microwave and it turned out really good. Then I had a slice of toast with butter and peanut butter and jelly sandwich. And barbecue chips with some milk to drink. Wasn’t worth the binge though elliptical here I come. Does it seem accurate?
[Rant/Rave] Fuck fuck fuck I cannot talk about eating disorders in front of my little sister
/u/lavenderbruises [5'9"|CW 109| GW 100| BMI 15.87| 19F]
Created: Thu Dec 7 08:20:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i746w/fuck_fuck_fuck_i_cannot_talk_about_eating/
---
So a few weeks ago I broke down and called my mom, telling her about how I thought I was fat and how I have issues with eating. My little sister (age 8) must have overheard or something...because this weekend when I went back home to visit, she (jokingly?) said how her legs were fat and how she should “eat less”.
I freaked out inside but outwardly remained calm and told her that she was skinny already and that if anything, she needed to eat more in order to grow tall and strong.
Ughh the last thing I want is for her to have the same issues I have. I feel so immature because I’m literally an ADULT and I have these stupid self destructive tendencies and I can’t even take care of myself. Now my little sister is catching a whiff of my stupidity and I just feel so ashamed. I really really want to be a confident, smart, independent big sister and be a good role model to her.
But nooo, instead I’m about as mature as a child, and I’m turning 20 in a month. Ha ha ha .
Help
[Tip] DAE allow themselves to eat ice cream and frozen yogurt cause “liquid cals don’t count”
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 7 08:08:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i71d8/dae_allow_themselves_to_eat_ice_cream_and_frozen/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Does anyone else get used to restricting to the point that they don't feel like they're restricting enough anymore? Kinda full...but of nothing?
/u/Fibreoptic_Calico
Created: Thu Dec 7 07:48:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i6wwi/does_anyone_else_get_used_to_restricting_to_the/
---
I've been restricting (what else is new, right!) but it's a high restriction; between 700-900 and... I dunno..... I'm not getting that light empty feel anymore. I used laxatives last night, thinking maybe I was backed up, and I've been to the toilet now but I just feel bloated and not empty anymore like I did two days ago/before. Not due on my period I don't think...it's like I feel full in my actual stomach, under my boobs but above my belly button and it's not flat or going inwards anymore and I can't suck in.
This has happened before. Maybe I just need to go lower? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
This is very incoherent, I'm not sure how to articulate it!
[Rant/Rave] I’m actually doing it (rant)
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 | CW 145 | 24.1| -10lb| F]
Created: Thu Dec 7 07:36:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i6u73/im_actually_doing_it_rant/
---
I’m determined to do a 48 hour fast. I have to do it. I’m tired of being feeling like this after I eat this is something necessary. I just need to make it till 10pm and that will be 24 hours. I’ve always heard that the second day is easier. I just want to do this for me.
Im doing it
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 7 07:35:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i6u21/im_doing_it/
---
[deleted]
[Help] My pants are too big but the scale isn't moving?
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 140.2 | BMI 27.3 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26 F]
Created: Thu Dec 7 06:42:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i6j0x/my_pants_are_too_big_but_the_scale_isnt_moving/
---
I don't know what's happening. I tried on a pair of 6s that I haven't put on in about 2 weeks this morning and they are WAY baggier than they were. They definitely qualify as 'loose'/'too big' and I could probably wear the same style of pants in one size down now, which is awesome, but I still weigh 140.2. 140.2 for the past week. I did start my period on Monday which could explain some things, but usually on my 4th day I at least see some type of movement.
I also haven't had a good BM in a couple of days, could that explain it? Do you think it's just a combination of leftover water weight from my period and not pooping?
I'm trying to explain it with that, but I've been under 1000 calories every day for the past 2 weeks besides 1 maintenance day where I was at MAX 1800.
[Help] Can someone please reassure my whiny hypochondriac ass that I didn’t fuck myself up from purging?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 7 06:41:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i6ix2/can_someone_please_reassure_my_whiny/
---
[deleted]
[Help] Can Someone Please Explain How Metabolism Works??
/u/figuredhood
Created: Thu Dec 7 05:39:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i66at/can_someone_please_explain_how_metabolism_works/
---
I’ve been in a terrible binge cycle and I can’t get back on track.
The worst culprit is thinking about how if I heavily restrict, I’m fucking over my metabolism so I’m not burning 1500 calories a day (bmr + exercise), and it just disheartens me so I keep binging.
I know the “starvation mode” is a myth but how much does heavy restriction affect metabolism? Does eating more protein help and how much is enough?
Sorry if this is a very obvious question, I’d really appreciate as much insight as possible!
[Discussion] December 7th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 7 05:34:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i65bp/december_7th_2017_question_of_the_day/
---
Where do you see yourself in the next year?
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support December 07, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Dec 7 05:11:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i60zu/weekly_emotional_support_december_07_2017/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! December 07, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Dec 7 05:10:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i60sd/daily_food_diary_december_07_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 07, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Help] Chocolate Addiction
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 7 04:54:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i5wuy/chocolate_addiction/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Fasting begins.
/u/serenityswild
Created: Thu Dec 7 04:50:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i5wcf/fasting_begins/
---
I’ve been caught in a bad b/p cycle this week.
Restricting has been hard and in turn I’ve been purging everything.
Last night was the anniversary of losing my brother and I got drunk and ate like a normal person.
Now I’m prepared to fast for up to the next 5 days.
Going to start with 3 and see how they go.
Does anyone have tips?
How to stay energized? What do you allow in your fast periods?
[Rant/Rave] I found out someone who wanted to cast me in their short film only asked me because the main character being fat fits the vibe that they're going for.
/u/PM_M3_UR_SECRETS [163cm | CW 60kg | GW 50kg | HW 80kg]
Created: Thu Dec 7 04:49:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i5w5a/i_found_out_someone_who_wanted_to_cast_me_in/
---
Someone I know asked me to be the main character in a short film he and some other people are working on for a contest. I have some (very limited) experience with stage acting, not a lot with being on camera, but I thought that might be the reason he asked me. I wasn't sure though and since the main character is supposed to be mentally ill I was worried they somehow "sensed" that I have experience with that type of stuff or that they think I come off as weird and that that's the reason they asked me.
Well, today I asked them why they were so set on getting me to do it (they asked multiple times, even after I said I'd consider it and wasn't sure yet) and I asked them what type of girl they were looking for exactly, since I wanted to make sure I'd be able to do whatever they were going for justice. The guy I was talking to was kinda quiet for a while and after I asked him again he said "Well, we don't want someone who's like normal and does sports and stuff. We want someone who's a bit 'different' ."
I was fucking crushed, I actually had a glimmer of hope that someone might actually think I was talented or pretty enough (yeah right lol) to want me to participate in their film. But no. They asked me because I am "not normal", look like someone who "doesn't do sports" (I am German, the way he phrased it leaves no question that what he meant was "fat", and this person has mentioned my weight before) and am "different" aka weird/strange. Of course that's why they asked me. I feel fucking stupid for even considering that it might have been because of something else.
And what made the whole thing even worse is that there were a bunch of people standing around and they all looked kinda shocked and were laughing when he said that. It was so humiliating.
[Rant/Rave] "Friends" from my online group keep joking about me being a fatass
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Thu Dec 7 03:39:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i5kv7/friends_from_my_online_group_keep_joking_about_me/
---
One said "it's impressive you can bench your own bodyweight" when I joked about being able to bench 200 and another said "sure blame it on the meds, fatass" when I said I was addicted to antipsychotics (when my brother died and was super depressed) that made me sleep for a whole day with just 1/4 of a pill and how it messed up my BMR.
Thanks, guys. Guess I'm not eating for a couple of days. :/
[Help] Glacomannan
/u/dino_bones72 [5’3” | 130lbs | 22 | 13lbs | Female ]
Created: Thu Dec 7 03:13:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i5gqy/glacomannan/
---
Has anybody used glacomannan tablets?
My concern is that you have to take them with enough water or they can expand before hey hit your stomach, making you choke.
I suppose I’m also a bit concerned that adding in supplements etc is just another dark step in my ED.
[Other] I have been labeled...
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 111 | 20.3 | -24 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 7 02:59:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i5enk/i_have_been_labeled/
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I have officially been diagnosed with EDNOS-anorexia nervosa and ARFID. I had never considered the possibility that I had two food related disorders, but it entirely makes sense. ARFID (avoidant restrictive food intake disorder) is a result of my fear of throwing up, and sometimes I won't eat food because of that fear, rather than due to calories.
The disordered part of myself is disappointed in myself for not having a low enough BMI for full anorexia nervosa.The logical part of myself recognizes that this is good because it will be easier to treat than having to regain weight, and it just means I'm not as sick as I could be.
Disordered part is mad that I'm not sicker.
This whole ED thing is so confusing :|
[Other] Guys, I found a good channel for us
/u/ForSnowfall
Created: Thu Dec 7 02:56:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i5e6o/guys_i_found_a_good_channel_for_us/
---
https://www.youtube.com/user/cryingwhileeating/videos
[Rant/Rave] Fibre One Brownies
/u/yungbrrrat
Created: Thu Dec 7 02:51:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i5dhe/fibre_one_brownies/
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Quick rave about fibre one chocolate brownies - they're 90 calories each, they're filling, they're so fucking decadent, man i love them
and they're filled with fibre
would recommend, 10/10
[Goal] What was it like reaching your goal weight for the first time ever?
/u/genuislab
Created: Thu Dec 7 01:43:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i540t/what_was_it_like_reaching_your_goal_weight_for/
---
I've been chubby my entire life and I've never *ever* experienced being skinny. I'm still 140 pounds and I keep wondering to myself what it would feel like to even become 100 pounds. I wanna know how rewarding it feels to just realize you've become skinny.
[Discussion] Have any of you ever restricted hard for white (couple weeks + and *not* lost weight?
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Thu Dec 7 01:32:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i52ot/have_any_of_you_ever_restricted_hard_for_white/
---
I’ve been stalling the last couple week...and logically I’m sure it’s bloating/water rents took but it’s SO frustrating and also stressful and upsetting that even though I’ve been cutting hard (like eating 600-1100 per day tops with two days that I ate at/slightly below maintenance) I’m still the same weight I was 2 weeks ago (and it’s only ever been this weight or up to 2 lb higher and it toggles every day).
I worry a bit because I’ve also been taking HCG and I had some bites of fatty stuff (I’m not supposed to) and I worry that maybe that’s what’s messing me up.
But again I’m cutting so many calories that how could I possibly not lose any...by my calculations I should have been losing 2-3 lb of fat per week.
Has anyone else actually completely stalled? Or should I just expect a whoosh in the future?
This sucks ☹️
[Discussion] Ways to minimize the negative effects of restriction?
/u/sogyosha
Created: Thu Dec 7 01:23:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i51i6/ways_to_minimize_the_negative_effects_of/
---
I'm not sure if this breaks the rules, so feel free to delete this, mods.
It's not like googling this will get any results besides "how to recover." I'm not looking to recover, but I want to know some things I could do to minimize the negative effects of restriction.
For example, should I be doubling up on my multivitamins?
Should I take my vitamin with fat so that it absorbs better? I know certain vitamins are fat-soluble. And would fish oil be a sufficient fat?
Should I take additional supplements like iron, calcium, fish oil, etc?
If I'm sticking to, say, 250 calories a day, should I try to aim for a food with high salt, high fat, high carb etc. since I'm not getting it anywhere else?
What kinds of foods are the most nutrient-dense?
I'm just trying to salvage what's left of my health while I suffer from my eating disorder, so it's super annoying how there are no official resources out there for people who aren't ready for recovery but want to reduce the ill effects of EDs.
[Discussion] [discussion] What's your favorite way to eat vegetables?
/u/finnkat
Created: Thu Dec 7 01:16:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i50gh/discussion_whats_your_favorite_way_to_eat/
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Sorry i can't flair, I'm on mobile. I've never been into vegetables, I can eat carrots or corn and maybe green beans but beyond that they just disgust me. I think it's a combination of the flavor and the texture, especially broccoli. Texture has always been a big issue for me, so I generally just don't eat them. What I do eat is a bunch of junk food, like no food all day and then 300-700 calories of fast food or pasta or snacks. I feel like I should be eating healthier since I'm eating so little and I know you can also eat a lot of vegetables for very little calories and can get filled up on those with less calories and guilt. I know it might be a bit ridiculous but I also feel like a fake since I only eat junk instead of health food, so my question is, what's the best way to eat vegetables
[Rant/Rave] Against my protests my friend tried to guess my weight...
/u/oxygens_overrated [5'4|HW:150|CW:147|LW:113|GW:125 |F| ]
Created: Thu Dec 7 00:49:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i4wnf/against_my_protests_my_friend_tried_to_guess_my/
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I weigh about 145 right now, which is heavy as fuck for me and I’m already struggling to cope with the fact I’m so heavy since my lowest was 113. And he guessed that I weigh 160. ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY POUNDS. I wanted to cry. That’s 15 pounds heavier than I am. So rip my confidence forever.
[Discussion] Diet Coke vs Diet Pepsi
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 7 00:07:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i4qao/diet_coke_vs_diet_pepsi/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Lamictal
/u/kvikerdragen [5'6.5" | 22F | CW 113.8 | GW 111 | HW 182]
Created: Wed Dec 6 23:02:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i4fti/lamictal/
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Not really food related, sorry...
They started me on Lamictal 3 days ago to deal with my mood swings and depression and everything because I'm Borderline and nothing else has ever worked. There's a ramp period where I spend like several weeks at each dose, increasing to the normal point. Obvious since I'm only 3 days in I'm still at a super low dose (25mg).
Given any other drug and my rudimentary understanding of psychology in general, my assumption is that effects as of right now can't be differentiated from that of a placebo, so everything I feel is being taken with a grain of salt.
But, like, it's having this effect where I'm not getting the physical urges that are normally associated with the low swings for me (Particularly, the urges to self harm in whichever way is appropriate at that moment in time). I still feel anguish in my head, but it's more numbed and sort of feels distant, in a way? I'd guess this is maybe how it's supposed to work. But the thing is, I kind of hate it. Like these things still really affect me and generally upset me, but I can't feel them as much... I don't really know how to put it into words.
Does anyone have some input or anything for me? Maybe if it starts to make more sense over time, if I can expect to get used to it, if it stays this way forever?
Also, first post from mobile so I guess I can't flair. I figure Other is appropriate.
Just ate 5(!!!) full sized iced gingerbread cookies
/u/jjfmish [5'6 | SW:163lbs | CW:144lbs | GW:130lbs (for now): 19/F]
Created: Wed Dec 6 22:34:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i4awa/just_ate_5_full_sized_iced_gingerbread_cookies/
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The girl that got me as her secret santa either wanted to sabotage me or REALLY loves to bake. She also got me a container of hot chocolate which I don't even like (but will probably binge on, without mixing it with any liquid, anyways).
On the bright side my friend gave me an adderall cap for free so at least I'll actually get shit down tomorrow and hopefully it'll supress my appetite.
[Rant/Rave] A lot has happened today and I have a lot of feelings, so I present: A Rant
/u/accordingtoging
Created: Wed Dec 6 22:18:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i485x/a_lot_has_happened_today_and_i_have_a_lot_of/
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My boyfriend went to bed and doesn't understand as well as you all anyway, so I'm about to go off.
First: My mom Diet Confronted™ me about my eating tonight when I got home from my dance class, so I forced myself to eat what felt like a bunch of snacks in front of her. I ate 100cal of cheez-its, 250cal of popcorn, and a 100cal cookie. And now I feel like I need to fast for two days because I also ate 200cal of salad, 100cal protein shake, and two 100cal cookies earlier in the day. Total of 950, but considering my dance class and other activities today, I'm pretty sure my net is only like 550. And I have not gained a single ounce since I weighed myself after dance. But I am still freaking out. I really fucking hate this goddamn disorder.
Second: I got into an argument with my best friend today because she doesn't understand how I can be the most logical person she knows but have such an illogical disorder. She keeps telling me to just eat more and to stop worrying about my weight, but I can't get it through to her that this isn't just some crash diet. It's a whole slew of fucked up mental processes, half of which are not even actually about the food or weight, and I can not fix this over night by telling myself I'm being illogical.
So I've cried in my car a lot in the last 24 hours, Things have been fun.
One positive I guess: I'm excited for my fast and to see how much weight I can drop. 48 hours is the goal, but I would love to try for 60 hours. I'm currently at 137lb. I'm praying for 132lb by Tuesday, but I'm doubtful. We'll see what happens.
This post is so pointless and scatter-brained. Lol. If you made it to the end, I love you.
My entire dinner
/u/Rawr1992 [5'11 | CW: 187 | BMI: 25.5 | -12 | M]
Created: Wed Dec 6 21:59:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i44jq/my_entire_dinner/
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https://i.redd.it/5pc4m9ikmf201.jpg
[Intro] The progression of my ED. I like to show people pictures of old “fat me”, they don’t know the full story of why that’s no longer “me”
/u/CassTheUltimateBA [5'10 | 135.9 | 19.5 | 85 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 6 21:43:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i41pn/the_progression_of_my_ed_i_like_to_show_people/
---
https://m.imgur.com/a/XGMNV
[Rant/Rave] Okay fruit is seriously the grossest thing to purge...
/u/DeathmetalFiretruck [5'5 | CW 82.4 lbs | BMI 13.87 | HW 187 | 24F]
Created: Wed Dec 6 21:41:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i41bf/okay_fruit_is_seriously_the_grossest_thing_to/
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[removed]
[Help] Feeling super nauseated/weak despite preventative measures
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | CW: 120 | GW: small | F]
Created: Wed Dec 6 21:25:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i3yfd/feeling_super_nauseatedweak_despite_preventative/
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(On mobile, please flair as help)
I haven't even been restricting that low... I aim for 1200 a day and typically reach about 700-1100. But lately I've just been SO EXHAUSTED and I'm super nauseated right now, even though I've already had 1300 cals today. I take a multivitamin, so it's not that. I tried salt. Drinks with electrolytes make my stomach feel worse. It could be iron deficiency (I used to be super amenic), but the vitamins I take have iron in them, and I basically live off of spinach. (And plain iron supplements make me constipated/otherwise uncomfortable.) Upping my intake also doesn't work. Will this ever go away??? I have finals next week and I don't want to be sick for them :/
Edit: I drink 3-4 liters of water per day MINIMUM, so I'm pretty sure dehydration isn't the issue either.
[Rant/Rave] When the Barista makes your drink wrong....
/u/KajaIsForeverAlone [height:5'9 | CW: 135 BMI:20 | weight lost:25 lbs | Gender: F]
Created: Wed Dec 6 20:58:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i3szh/when_the_barista_makes_your_drink_wrong/
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You take your fucked up drink that you paid 4 bucks for just to sit in your car and cry because that was gonna be your dinner that you were so excited for. You just sit there and cry, you don't even drink it. That is, if you're me after all :P
Don't you guys just LOVE THE ANA DIET LOOK AT HOW HAPPY AND THIN WE ARE
I TOTALLY DO THIS JUST SO I CAN BE THIN AND LOVELY
Sorry about the rant... Just having a hard time. Surely at least one of you lovely people can relate? (on mobile can't flair)
[Rant/Rave] Getting my shit together kind of broke me.
/u/mattsulli
Created: Wed Dec 6 20:50:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i3rbe/getting_my_shit_together_kind_of_broke_me/
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A few months ago I was exactly where I wanted to be weight wise, but I started treatment for my bipolar disorder. I’ve been feeling better and much more stable until recently— I’ve gained a lot of weight for no observable reason, I’ve been depressed, dizzy. The lithium caused hypothyroidism. I just can’t. I can hardly wear my clothes anymore. All I want to do is stop the lithium and go back to manic fasting.
[Discussion] Anyone losing the same weight... for the 3rd or 4th time?
/u/Kitten_in_a_teacup
Created: Wed Dec 6 20:34:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i3nyp/anyone_losing_the_same_weight_for_the_3rd_or_4th/
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My weight has swung from 119 to 240 (and back again, multiple times) in the past decade. Back in the restricting mode of my ED and lost 19lbs since Halloween. Are there others here in the same boat?
I can't believe this game is still making me happy, honestly. But it is. :/
[Help] I think about food so much that it gets in the way of my productivity
/u/ilikecocoakrispies [5'1 | HW: 140 | CW: 126 | GW:100 | 🍑:kyoops]
Created: Wed Dec 6 20:32:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i3nje/i_think_about_food_so_much_that_it_gets_in_the/
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From the moment I wake up til the moment I fall asleep I am CONSTANTLY thinking about food and about not eating. So much so that I'll delay getting out of bed because I'm afraid if I get up I won't be able to control myself and start eating. It's finals week and this is getting in the way of my productivity-- I can't focus on my work because I'm thinking about food and I absolutely have to find a secluded place to study because my stomach growls so loud and I can't concentrate at home. Even when I'm not hungry I'll be thinking about food or feeling guilty about how much I ate. I currently see a psychiatrist about anxiety/depression, but would it do any good to bring it up with her? I'm not quite looking for recovery, just trying to get my focus back and stop thinking about food.
EDIT: If anyone has any suggestions as to how I can suppress these thoughts PLEASE SEND THEM MY WAY THANK U
[Discussion] DAE Lift Weights?
/u/buttt-cheeks
Created: Wed Dec 6 20:24:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i3lum/dae_lift_weights/
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Heavy (ish) weights?
I used to want to be a powerlifter but I found I could never get my nutrition on track (lol) well enough to be competitive. Now I just lift because I genuinely enjoy it. I’m wondering If anyone else is able to lift and restrict simultaneously..... I can only eat normally (2000 cals) on lifting days and then fast/restrict on non-lifting days. I’m lifting less because I want to fast more :/
What does everyone else do? I know a lot of bikini/bodybuilding people use ED behaviors to get to stage weight so I feel like it’s possible but it feels impossible. On lifting days it feels like a day-long binge for me.
[Rant/Rave] Skinny Jeans Are Baggy
/u/fuckingilluminated
Created: Wed Dec 6 20:07:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i3i45/skinny_jeans_are_baggy/
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The skinny jeans that use to squeeze my hips and choke my thighs are now high waisted pants that are baggy on me. I am kinda starting to feel better about my reflection. Not satisfied by any means but better.
[Rant/Rave] I don’t think my boyfriend is in love with me anymore and I feel like shit
/u/littleloaudio [5'1" | CW 132 | GW 110 | -17 | 22f]
Created: Wed Dec 6 20:05:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i3hrg/i_dont_think_my_boyfriend_is_in_love_with_me/
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We live together. And haven’t had sex in over a month despite my attempts to initiate. He’s always having an “off day.”
And the ironic thing is now I’m getting good at this restricting thing and feeling good about my body at least some of the time and this guy at work is flirting and he’s got nice eyes but I’m still in love with my SO but what if he isn’t and we’re supposed to go to his parents’ home 8 hours away from here and now it feels like my world is falling apart at the seams. Also I have two twenty page papers to turn in before Monday.
Someone pIease stop me from eating this whole jar of peanut butter.
[Help] I've been told that I have an ED and I need help, but I don't think I do...
/u/Pocahotmess86
Created: Wed Dec 6 20:00:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i3gmz/ive_been_told_that_i_have_an_ed_and_i_need_help/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] My bf is scared and I am the worst
/u/sp_ceghost [5'7F | 129.6 | UGW 105 | -35lbs]
Created: Wed Dec 6 19:50:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i3emc/my_bf_is_scared_and_i_am_the_worst/
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I opened up to my lovely boyfriend about my posts and current diet habits, and he is very scared. I just wanted to be honest with him. He promised not to intervene, and I'm glad he cares, but he keeps telling me that he's worried. He says he's looked at this subreddit and he doesn't like it, but I love it because the community is supportive and kind, and I can actually relate to people here. I feel like I matter here.
A little backstory, about 6 years ago I developed an ED at my natural weight of ~100lbs, recovered and developed BED, then I lost weight slowly and settled around 140 for a bit. Then I went on Adderall. Adderall has helped every other problem I've had and mentally I'm at the best I've been in a while, but as soon as I noticed I was dropping weight, my old eating habits came right back. It's a little different this time, but the obsession is the same. It's not that I don't eat, it's just that I eat very little and I put it off until I absolutely must eat. I'm also not really hungry anymore, I eat because I hate feeling faint. Adderall makes me forget to eat - which is great to my disordered mind, but my rational self knows this is wrong.
Honestly, I'm scared too. I'm terrified and I don't want to be sick. But I have to do this. I *know* I'm too big. I don't want to be fat anymore. He thinks I look great when I lose weight. He's held my hand through a lot, and I mean a LOT, but I'm worried he won't love me if I continue to scare him like this. He doesn't deserve the stress. I don't mean to make him unhappy, he means everything to me. The thing is...I *have* to be skinny. I want this. Am I selfish? I love that he allows me to be open about it, but should I stop discussing it with him?
[Discussion] I use basically any excuse to fast
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 | CW 145 | 24.1| -10lb| F]
Created: Wed Dec 6 19:33:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i3aw5/i_use_basically_any_excuse_to_fast/
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My boyfriend just dropped me off at home and we were arguing in the car and it ended in me crying and him calling me dramatic so I said “Fuck you go home.” And he sped off. This whole fight is basically fueling me to starve tomorrow instead of binging tonight.
[Help] Please help, I am at an all time low point :'(
/u/I_give_up_258
Created: Wed Dec 6 18:51:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i31ic/please_help_i_am_at_an_all_time_low_point/
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I've hit a low point today emotionally. I don't know what else to do, nothing seems to be working. What triggered it is that I ate nearly a whole medium pizza and a bowl of pasta and I hate myself. But that's just the trigger... the thing that has me feeling stuck is that I've been struggling for literally years and years trying to fix myself.
It started in gr 8, I went to camp, only got fed junk food, came home fatter, freaked myself out. I started not eating, lost weight. I was semi-anorexic (ednos maybe?) all throughout high school because I would go through binge and starve cycles, but I remained in 'healthy' bmi. Before going to uni, I decided to recover: I tried to increase my self confidence, cure my body dismorphia, be more comfortable about food, etc. And while I succeeded at all of that... it did not cure my root problem: I literally can't stop thinking about food. When I'm eating, I think about food, when I wake up I think about food, when I'm doing anything I think about food. At this point I don't care whether I lose weight or gain weight but I just want to stop thinking about food!!!! (but weight loss would be great of course.)
I just need to find a way to stop thinking about food without doing those unnecessary secondary steps like "stop dieting" or "stop judging yourself" because I've tried them and while they work for most, they did not work for me. I've tried literally everything. I have an exam very soon (and next week, two more) and I'm at a low point because I literally see no way out of this hell where I can't stop thinking about food. maybe it's a problem with my brain. maybe my brain is just screwing with me and wants to see me suffer.
I've tried literally every possible solution. I've tried dieting, not dieting, eating when you're hungry not just when cravings happen, eating at timed intervals, etc.... but they do not work. these are solutions to overeating and losing weight but... that's not my problem... my problem is that I can't stop thinking about food no matter what I do, whether I binge, restrict, or eat normally.
all the articles that attempt to solve this try to make it from a weight loss point of view but that's not my concern. I just want my thinking to stop being centered around food. I have recovered from an ED more or less physically and routinely but mentally i'm still just as fucked up. PLEASE HELP. SOS.
[Tip] Down to a new lowest weight and no longer binging! Possible advice for you guys!
/u/deadpetz
Created: Wed Dec 6 18:47:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i30jo/down_to_a_new_lowest_weight_and_no_longer_binging/
---
Hey guys, I'm an 5'11" 18 y/o male (not the traditional person when you think of ED) and I've been restricting/binging for the past 2 ish months off/on after a weight loss of 105 pounds (265-160) and I finally went down to 159.1 after two weeks of rubberbanding!! I got prescribed adderall for my ADHD finally and it was like black and white with my BED. I went from thinking about food every waking moment of the day, and panicking about if I would be able to fight the binge/fast urges.
After I started taking 10mg adderall to treat my ADHD inattentive, I almost wanted to cry. I had relatively no intrusive thoughts about food, and it made me only hungry when I ACTUALLY was hungry or if food was in front of me. And even then, I think to myself, "yeah I could go for this!" A similar medication (Vyvanse) has been medically proven to help suppress binge urges, and if any of you guys are heavily struggling with this, then you should talk to your doctor about possibly getting a prescription.
Any of the stimulant medications (adderall, concerta, vyvanse) helps with these urges. Just wanted to share this awesome milestone, it has been 3 weeks since my last binge, and I have no plans or desire to binge again in the near future. As a result of this, I don't feel the need to fast (<200 cals a day) anymore, which has finally given me the ability to function like a normal person. Thanks for listening guys.
[Rant/Rave] You remind me of " person I don't know" but she is even skinnier than you...
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Wed Dec 6 18:44:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i2zy5/you_remind_me_of_person_i_dont_know_but_she_is/
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Students said of a past teacher from their middle school. I asked if she was tall, they said yes but she was really really skinny.
Fml way to add to a bad week, I want to be so frail and just die now. I feel in competition with some random chick I will never meet. I hate me 😔
[Rant/Rave] Tomorrow is a planned binge day and I feel so conflicted
/u/TSputnik [5'3" | CW 129 | HW 210 | UGW 100]
Created: Wed Dec 6 18:42:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i2zhp/tomorrow_is_a_planned_binge_day_and_i_feel_so/
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I've been DEMOLISHING all my restriction goals so that I could eat what I've planned tomorrow, and I'm looking forward to the food immensely... but now I'm afraid to ruin the wonderful feeling of being unbloated, light, and mostly empty.
I don't want to take back my own motivational reward, because then what's even the point of making them, but I'm so afraid of becoming bloated, tired, *gassy* and getting the sensitive skin pain thing again. I work the next morning and if I'm still feeling the effects of all the food it's going to suck.
I don't even know right now aaaaaa
[Rant/Rave] Where is rock bottom
/u/LostBrokenAndAfraid [5"10 | CW 195 | 170 | - 70 lbs | M]
Created: Wed Dec 6 18:30:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i2wrt/where_is_rock_bottom/
---
People keep telling me once I reach my lowest point there will be nowhere else left for me to go but up. Seems like my criteria for rock bottom is getting lower and lower every day.
[Rant/Rave] I love EC stacking, I don’t know why I ever quit.
/u/toffeenot [5'5" | beluga | -40 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 6 17:54:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i2oo5/i_love_ec_stacking_i_dont_know_why_i_ever_quit/
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I got back into EC stacking and let me tell you how much I’m raving about this. I’m actually getting work done because I don’t have an appetite, so now I don’t have the urge to go get food. I got work done that I’ve been putting up for weeks now.
I also passed up free cookies from a coworker and didn’t spend money on lunch because I didn’t eat. I just need to get through dinner but I’m such a good work grind I might not need to. I know this is such a silly post but I feel like I have a bit more control in my life now because EC stacking.
[Discussion] 18 (F) 113 lbs. 5’4” - Need suggestions that will make me stop craving food altogether
/u/maf25
Created: Wed Dec 6 17:13:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i2g1i/18_f_113_lbs_54_need_suggestions_that_will_make/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] What a shit day
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 6 16:52:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i2be3/what_a_shit_day/
---
I’ve had a really shitty bipolar day and I’m so tired so I took 4 klonopin (doctor said to 3, but I’m getting there) and am in bed at 5:30. I obviously need help right now. I got a couple cans of whipped cream so I could do a couple of wippets and ended up eating a lot of the cream even though today was supposed to be a fasting day and it’s dairy and then purged it out (best purge to date). Then I took another klonopin because I was afraid I purged it out.
Problems:
1) cream is not vegan
2) wippets are bad
3) Ruined fasting day and also fasting day shouldn’t be a thing
4) purged it out
It’s all bad. I failed myself, bebes
[Other] Came back to work for the first time in months
/u/fluffyfinaland [5'6"| 153.4 | BMI 24 | -17 | 21F]
Created: Wed Dec 6 16:28:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i25op/came_back_to_work_for_the_first_time_in_months/
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I've been off work (serving) for a couple months because of school but finally picked up a shift tonight since the semester is over. First thing one of my coworkers says is "Did you lose weight???" I'm beaming. It feels so good that I'm noticeably losing weight since no matter what I can't seem to see it myself. Gonna be a good night!
[Discussion] Blast from the Past with a Pseudo-Fast (Sorry. I tried.)
/u/mastermindtinycat [5'2" | CW: 103.5 lbs | GW: 81 lbs? | 19.6 | F |]
Created: Wed Dec 6 16:04:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i1zs0/blast_from_the_past_with_a_pseudofast_sorry_i/
---
Hi Folks,
Haven't posted in a while, was active a number of months ago but tried to recover, eat "intuitively", blah blaaah blah blah beep boop beep. Anyway, now I'm 10 lbs up and I hate myself even more (I LOVE having an ED it is such a rollercoaster of emotions)!
Decided to return with a week-long modified liquid fast. I have some specific fasting rules, so I'll lay those out first, along with my starting stats:
**Rules**
1) Can have whatever liquids I want, as long as I stay sub 100 cals. Like, could blow it all on like three sips of beer if I wanted but hopefully I'm less stupid than that :D
2) No counting black coffee or tea calories. Not trying to lose my fukkin mind.
3) **Full Disclosure** I'm having one meal on Saturday night cause it's been planned for a while. Restaurant has been scoped out beforehand and I'm allowing 400 booze cals and 100 food cals because I care about alcohol more than my health.
4) Will be supplementing with Vitamin B, D, Magnesium, and Electrolyte Tabs. Will also be EC stacking as needed.
**Current Stats**
Weight: 103.5 lbs / 46.9 kg *blerg*
BMI: 19.6 *BLERG*
Waist: 23.25 in / 59 cm *~ blessed ~ with a small waist but...*
Hips: 31.5 in / 80 cm *all that shit goes here*
Thighs: 19.5 in / 49.5 cm *and here*
Will post again a week from now to let y'all know how it went and give some stats updates, if there's interest. Otherwise, will be posting in the Daily Meal Thread for accountability.
The one thing I'm nervous about is exercise. I have to run 6 miles 3 days of the week as part of my commute. If I'm feeling awful, I may have to walk instead of run, which will add to my already long af commute. Generally, I also like to box, bike, and do some light weights. Not sure if any of that is sustainable.
Last thing: I'm sorry if this post breaks any rules or guidelines! Please remove if necessary.
It's nice to be back. I love this community. You are all lovely human beings, and I hope you all know a stranger out there cares for you <3
-Mastermindtinycat
PS: Feedback, questions, comments, love notes, hate notes are all welcome!
[Rant/Rave] I missed my bus, because bulimia
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 80 lbs | 15.13 | -27 | f]
Created: Wed Dec 6 15:55:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i1xjy/i_missed_my_bus_because_bulimia/
---
As of real damn recent, this adorable, sweet, wonderful freshman has become quite attached to me. It's honestly a blessing. She's a blessing. But oh, my lord, does it get in the way of my ED.
See, after school, they give out free food in the cafeteria.
My binge-eating ass loves that.
But today, she found me, and matched onto me, and i couldn't escape to purge for quite some time.
First, she had to eat her own food as well.
Then, we chatted with her friend.
Then we made our way to the bus and I had to force a smile until i could suck out to the bathroom.
When i came out, the bus had already left.
We live in bumfuck nowhere. i can't just... get home. it's an hour long ride.
Cue full blown mental patient freak out.
Sobbing on the ground, head in my hands.
I think my eyeshadow ruined my hoodie sleeves.
I'm now waiting in the office in a chair in the fetal position waiting for my brother to come rescue me.
FML
[Discussion] does anyone else get put off by terms like "food baby" and "food coma"?
/u/band-aide [5'6 | CW: 118 | HW: 140 | LW: 90 | F/19]
Created: Wed Dec 6 15:49:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i1vym/does_anyone_else_get_put_off_by_terms_like_food/
---
obviously people don't use them maliciously but it just always makes me cringe because of my awful relationship with food. it makes it sound all cutesy and just makes me feel uncomfortable.
[Rant/Rave] I want to be thin so badly
/u/bethygal83
Created: Wed Dec 6 15:47:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i1vdk/i_want_to_be_thin_so_badly/
---
I feel so fat I feel so awful I want to restrict so bad and not eat. I’ve been taking 6-12 laxatives a day to get rid of everything. I hate having any food in my stomach it makes me think i will get fatter.
[Rant/Rave] competing with other people
/u/daisyhands
Created: Wed Dec 6 15:04:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i1kht/competing_with_other_people/
---
I’m pretty sure my best friend also has an ED. She knows about mine and i try to talk to her about her eating but it always ends up about me since apparently ‘it doesn’t matter about her because her bmi is healthy and mine is underweight’ which of course is not true because every eating disorder is terrible whether you are overweight, underweight or a normal weight. Anyways, she often talks about fasting and weight loss and i feel myself constantly competing to not eat for longer or to lose more weight or eat less and things and it makes me feel like shit like why am i competing against her? i feel like i have to be the best at not eating because it’s the only thing i can do and even then i binge half of the time. it’s just so frustrating when she is fasting for longer than me and i just can’t do it. idk if this makes sense or if anyone can relate. i am not trying to be nasty and i want my friend to get better but being with her everyday is getting too difficult for me. i hope i don’t sound nasty and someone understands where i am coming from here :((
[Tip] Got any tips for low calorie foods/ingredients?
/u/ShouNinja
Created: Wed Dec 6 15:01:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i1joc/got_any_tips_for_low_calorie_foodsingredients/
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Title basically says it, if you got any suggestions for low calorie foods or ingredients feel free to share them below!
Thanks <3
[Rant/Rave] Crashing Down After Appointment
/u/kvikerdragen [5'6.5" | 22F | CW 113.8 | GW 111 | HW 182]
Created: Wed Dec 6 14:36:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i1d18/crashing_down_after_appointment/
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So I got weighed at the doctor's office (Weighed less than my scale at home so that's interesting). They saw that I'd lost more weight, and the nurse (Who I see the same one every time and quite like her) asked me if I was trying to lose the weight and then asked if I was throwing food up (Which I was honest, said sometimes but that it was a more recent development and restricting is the problem). She then completely glossed over all of it, said as long as I wasn't anorexic or bulimic and I was getting help for the suicidal thoughts (But like I totally admitted to anorexic behavior and she ignored me, so I guess that means my weight isn't enough of a concern yet so... fuel for me I guess).
Then the doctor came in a bit later. I'm MtF transgender (I don't talk about it often because it's not something I find to be a large part of my overall personality, particularly since the dysphoria is pretty well managed and even medical personnel have told me they didn't know I wasn't cis until they saw notes on my file) so I see an endocrinologist for hormones every three months or so. Anyway, this time he gave me a talk about suicide and how 41% of trans people admit to having attempted suicide (Which I'm part of that statistic so) and blah blah blah.
Anyway, the thing that hit me hard was that he shamed me super hard about losing weight. Talked about how I'm like basically fighting the effects of the estrogen by avoiding becoming voluptuous (His word) and whatever else he said (I withdrew). It was devastating. It like, really shook my confidence in myself and made me feel super inadequate and like I was wasting his time.
So of course I went to the store and bought a bag of chips to eat in my car in a numb haze because that's just what you do. Part of me wants to just get fat and "voluptuous" as punishment, part of me wants to starve down to bones and nothingness so that I may as well have never been physically female, and part of me just wants to kill myself because apparently I'm wasting my life.
Just another normal day.
[Help] Going to a recovery program soon
/u/skydiver89 [skinny fat AF at 5'4" and 140 lbs]
Created: Wed Dec 6 14:24:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i19st/going_to_a_recovery_program_soon/
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and the lady on the phone said I need to be able to eat. :(
I'm so scared and freaked out right now. I haven't had a solid meal in a few weeks. I've been drinking soylent every day (800 calories) and anything else I spit out. I just don't want to gain weight. I'm already gross af. I feel like I'm never going to recover.
[Help] scale hasn’t moved in 4 days???
/u/micobox [5'8 | CW: 128lbs | CGW: 120 | BMI: 19.50 | 16F]
Created: Wed Dec 6 13:58:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i12l3/scale_hasnt_moved_in_4_days/
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[removed]
Christmas Eating Tracker - thought you'd all appreciate ^_^
/u/StuDented [1.64m|CW: ?|GW: 55kg|UGW: 50kg|BMI: ?|Gender: F]
Created: Wed Dec 6 13:56:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i122u/christmas_eating_tracker_thought_youd_all/
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https://m.imgur.com/QTKN0Li
[Rant/Rave] 😿
/u/gabiexoxunicorn
Created: Wed Dec 6 13:27:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i0uf2/_/
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I was not doing well and so I just ate a piece of cake and now i regret it sooo much I don't know what is wrong with me and I have finals this week but can't study because I feel bad and I cant throw up either there's nothing I can do and I feel so so so bad and it's really hard not to cut myself again 😿😿😿😿😿😿😿😿😿
[Rant/Rave] Success at bf’s last night!
/u/emmylou_lou
Created: Wed Dec 6 13:27:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i0u8b/success_at_bfs_last_night/
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So normally when I go over to my boyfriends, I eat way too much and I just can’t stop myself, but last night when I went over I had a naked juice that I was diluting with water (I swear babe, it tastes better) and he wasn’t hungry so we just played video games and he didn’t bring up food at all until he went into the kitchen to grab a snack and he comes back with a few stalks of celery!! It was the sweetest thing ever and I stayed under 700 yesterday! I’m just really happy about it. Small success, but I really just want to break out of the habit of eating so much while I’m over there. Today he mentioned making squash soup and grilled cheese (diaya “cheese”) so I’ll probably just have half the sandwich. I’ve been so good with maintaining under 700 for a week now and I’m really proud of myself. I’m still too scared to step on the scale so I don’t know if it’s paying off but if I can do this for another week I might weigh myself. Last time I checked I was 120 and I’m 5’4. I really fucking want to get back down to 110 before the end of the year, but that might just be wishful thinking.
[Rant/Rave] How do you log binges?
/u/UnrecoverableFuss [5'4 | GW 115 | CW 166 | HW/LW 198/98 | 28F]
Created: Wed Dec 6 13:19:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i0s5x/how_do_you_log_binges/
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A few years ago I started logging my binges as the next days' calories. So if I binge on 1600 extra calories on a Tuesday and I'm working with an 800 calorie/day goal, I simply fill Wednesday and Thursday with those calories and either fast and/or continue to add calories "ahead" until I "catch back up."
This method has proven to be either incredibly successful or an awful failure. I am capable of binging on so many calories (8,000+) that sometimes I simply never catch up, give up, and erase all of the pre-logged days. I do feel like it has helped me recover from smaller binges with less emotional turmoil, though.
Do you log binges? If so, how? What helps you feel like you have "recovered" from a binge?
[Discussion] DAE crave black coffee, even though they hate it?
/u/misskarcrashian [5'4" | SW: 170 | GW: 0 | 17f]
Created: Wed Dec 6 13:16:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i0rfi/dae_crave_black_coffee_even_though_they_hate_it/
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I swear I HATE black coffee. I like mine with a little bit of cream, but I've been binging so bad this semester and trying to regain control so I'm cutting calories everywhere I can for the past month (and it's working :D) and I find myself craving black coffee, almost everyday, even though I literally hate black coffee.
DAE feel like this? Maybe I just crave the caffeine haha
[Rant/Rave] Gingerbread cravings are gonna kill me.
/u/Rustlingjimmies87
Created: Wed Dec 6 12:59:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i0mgu/gingerbread_cravings_are_gonna_kill_me/
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All I can think about is gingerbread cookies this Christmas and all that I can find is loaded with calories. Anybody here have a cheaters version of gingerbread? I just need something, anything to satisfy this craving before I buy the house kit and go wild.
On mobile, not sure how to flair.
[Intro] I'm back again with a lot to say and a weird thinspo.
/u/x-ko [5'5" | 112.5 | 18.9 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 6 11:36:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i03g0/im_back_again_with_a_lot_to_say_and_a_weird/
---
I've always used this sub as a diary of sorts and I'm back now.
Since you've seen me last I have:
•Realized my relationship wasn't right for me
•Gotten a divorce
•Come to terms with being bisexual
•Moved into a tiny apartment loft
•Met someone amazing
•Moved into his house
•Unoffically adopted his cat
•Ran 3000 miles away with him to our little Barbie Dreamhouse with our beautiful cat daughter
So life is...really good actually. Which doesn't explain why I'm back to starving myself. I think it's the isolation that comes with moving, although I know a few people here, and the lack of funds to really splurge on fun food anymore.
I think I came back here for some semblance of familiarity. I don't know. Here I am though.
The weird thinspo I'm talking about is the cat. I know, I know, what am I getting on about? Let me explain: she is the tiniest, most dainty creature I've ever seen. She weighs in at about 6 pounds and has this teeny tiny little "mew" and I love her so much. And I want to be one of those people that bears striking resemblance to their pets, I want to be svelte and sassy and have people coo over how cute and small I am.
here are some pictures of her: https://imgur.com/a/Lg7Q7
[Rant/Rave] I want to enjoy food, but I want to be thin, and I want to die
/u/skyofAuroras [5'10" | CW: 129lbs | GW: 115lbs |19F]
Created: Wed Dec 6 11:29:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i01ll/i_want_to_enjoy_food_but_i_want_to_be_thin_and_i/
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I keep going through these cycles of heavy restriction, then realizing how fucked up I am, then wanting to stop this, then feeling bad for trying to eat more, then heavy restriction, repeat. Why do I have to be so in between!? Why can't I just stick with eating normally, or better yet just stick with starving myself and hopefully dying from it. I want to enjoy eating with my friends and family. I want to be able to eat without worrying how many calories I'm consuming or how much weight I'll gain. But I want to be thin, and I know my current goal weight would probably kill me but I'm ok with that. I want to get out of my cycle one way or another. I don't care how.
[Discussion] DAE love smelling foods they can't have
/u/Arakance [5'2" | CW: 125lb | GW: 99lb | 19 F]
Created: Wed Dec 6 11:27:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7i00yf/dae_love_smelling_foods_they_cant_have/
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I know it sounds like torture, but sometimes just breathing in the oily smell of onion rings from a food truck on campus is enough to keep me from snapping into a binge cycle.
And like yesterday I was studying and the guy next to me started eating this cheesy sandwich with an aroma that was honestly next to heavenly, and I was trying to be subtle about taking really deep breaths. It almost made me feel like I was the one eating the sandwich???
heyooo she's back again
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 6 10:34:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hzly4/heyooo_shes_back_again/
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[deleted]
[Other] Paid Research Study - Behaviors, Thoughts, and Feelings Study at Harvard
/u/ResearchAtHarvard
Created: Wed Dec 6 10:31:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hzl90/paid_research_study_behaviors_thoughts_and/
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We are graduate students in the Graduate School of Arts and Sciences at Harvard University working on a study looking at similarities and differences across cognitive and emotional aspects of different self-harming behaviors. This study has been approved by the Committee on the Use of Human Subjects at Harvard University. We are interested in recruiting people who use this website to participate in our research study.
This study will be completed online at a single time point and participation is completely voluntary. People who are interested in participating will be compensated with $10 online gift cards to Amazon.
A few important things to know about the study are:
1. All information collected will be kept completely confidential.
2. Participation is voluntary. The link we provide will send people to a website telling them about the study. Once on that site, they can decide whether or not they want to participate. Also, if anyone starts to participate and decides they no longer feel comfortable or they are no longer interested, they can end their participation without any penalty or punishment.
3. In addition to collecting information from participants, I will also provide links to treatment and informational resources throughout the study.
4. This study will include only participants who are 18+ years old.
5. We will also provide links to treatment and informational resources throughout the study.
**Please send us a private message to receive a link to the screening questionnaire to see if you qualify for the study.** If you qualify, you will be told more about the study and you can decide whether or not you want to participate. If you don’t qualify, you may be told about a different study that you can participate in instead.
Thanks for your consideration!
I'm not sure where else to post this, but I need support. TW
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 6 10:15:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hzgr6/im_not_sure_where_else_to_post_this_but_i_need/
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[deleted]
[Goal] Didn't Make my Goal
/u/kvikerdragen [5'6.5" | 22F | CW 113.8 | GW 111 | HW 182]
Created: Wed Dec 6 09:59:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hzce6/didnt_make_my_goal/
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So I've had to keep pushing back the date I wanted to reach my goal by more and more as I continued to make mistakes over the past month or so. Originally I was scheduled to be around 105-108 today, then eventually I settled on 111.
Well, unfortunately I didn't make it. I'm close, but not there.
Today's date was significant because I see my endocrinologist today, and that means getting weighed (It's not a weigh-in or anything where they have any idea, it's just that I use being weighed at the doctors' offices as a sort of measure of other peoples' concerns). The last time I went they were surprised that I was still losing weight, and I'm down about 15 pounds since the last time, although I was hoping to be down closer to 20, but you know. Shit happens I guess. The holidays are rough.
Anyway, I just wanted to say that despite not making it, things are okay. I'm driving across the country and going to be seeing my older brother until he leaves on the 18th, so I know that I need to relax my mind about eating and weight because it's going to be much harder to keep restricting as much as I want when I'm around him (My whole family is already worried as it is), so I'm probably not going to weigh myself much (If I can manage to do that... probably not likely but I can try) and just try to be okay with things for the next two weeks.
On the plus side, he's vegetarian so I get to transition into that myself and I'm excited.
Anyway, lots of rambling about nothing in particular. Missed my goal by a little, gonna be okay with it, gonna make it through, and keep working at it after a two week break.
Hope you all out there are either well on your way to your goal or at the very least doing okay and understanding that it's all temporary and progress will come. <3
[Rant/Rave] I had a nightmare about recovery.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 6 09:47:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hz9ie/i_had_a_nightmare_about_recovery/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Misleading sizes: What the hell
/u/unable_to_give_afuck
Created: Wed Dec 6 09:43:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hz8gb/misleading_sizes_what_the_hell/
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Ok so I know vanity sizing is a thing (I'm Canadian), but there is no excusing this.
I ordered a dress online in a Large, and I just measured it. The largest part is 28" around. People barely have 28" waists let alone hips and thighs!
What the fuuuuck am I supposed to do. This was supposed to be a dress for my birthday party on the 30th but my hips are 40" (eek) right now and I don't know how small I can get in 24 days jesus christ.
[Help] I'm starting to get nervous logging any food at all.
/u/fattynomnoms
Created: Wed Dec 6 08:41:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hyu7k/im_starting_to_get_nervous_logging_any_food_at_all/
---
Not that I don't want to log my food, but whenever I use MFP now, it freaks me out to see the number go up. I plan my day first thing in the morning and enter in all my food so that if I need to adjust amounts to stay under my goal number, I can get ahead of the game. Makes sense, right?
Well now its starting to give me anxiety seeing the number get higher and higher so fast when I'm entering everything in the morning. I haven't even eaten anything on the list yet, but I feel like a hog for logging it all in. Does that make any sense? Is anyone else feeling this way, and do you have a way to get around it? I used to feel accomplished seeing all my food logged, knowing that I will not go over my 800 because I have a plan. But now it just makes me practically sick to see it.
[Help] Is anyone well-versed with or have any experience with eating ketogenic?
/u/underandoverwhelmed
Created: Wed Dec 6 08:36:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hystx/is_anyone_wellversed_with_or_have_any_experience/
---
I know it might seem counter-intuitive to some, and I know many others have their own version of what's acceptable for them to consume. However, I was wondering if anyone had any experience with eating a ketogenic diet (on their own terms) and how it went for them. Any rookie mistakes I should know about? What were your results?!
[Rant/Rave] Throwback to when people told me I should model
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 6 08:36:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hystw/throwback_to_when_people_told_me_i_should_model/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I wish people understood "I have an eating disorder. I do not want to be around food."
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 57.1kg | BMI 18.86 |- 15kg | GW 52kg | 24F]
Created: Wed Dec 6 08:26:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hyqoh/i_wish_people_understood_i_have_an_eating/
---
For my birthday I went on a city break with a friend. I'm very active and I thought to myself "I'm going to enjoy this weekend and walk loads so I minimise any damage."
Ha fucking ha.
My friend is NOT active, in the slightest. On Sunday we spent 7 hours in a restaurant/café, which triggered a huge binge, and a scale jump of 3kg on Monday. This isn't the first time she's done this either. We'll meet up and then she'll say 'oh I'm not really feeling doing this today' and we'll sit around food for hours and hours and hours. Again, it always triggers a binge.
She's always trying to get me to eat more. She knows I have an eating disorder and I wish she'd just accept it and stop trying to "fix me". I am actually LESS likely to eat if she's constantly asking me about what I've eaten that day or just telling me to "eat one thing". I tried to be honest with her but now I'm going to have you lie.
It frustrates me because I'm not even underweight anymore. I weigh anywhere between 57-59kg and I'm 173cm so it's not even like I'm wasting away.
[Rant/Rave] Idk what is attractive anymore
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 6 08:16:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hyo8h/idk_what_is_attractive_anymore/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] My friend betrayed me 😩
/u/motivatedcactus
Created: Wed Dec 6 08:11:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hyn4s/my_friend_betrayed_me/
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So today is a strict cal day. I’ve had black coffee and an altoid and my friend comes in with Dunkin’ Donuts. She has cold tea and I asked if it’s sweetened and if I can try it. She assured me twice it’s completely unsweetened so I take a sip and it’s so fucking sweet. She did it on purpose cuz she saw me not eating. She specifically said it was extra sweet to rub it in afterwards. Idk how many calories was in the sip or what it was and I’m currently having a mild anxiety attack.
It’s extra stupid cuz she restricts too and I know if I did anything like that to her she wouldn’t talk to me for a week. Fuck. If anyone can figure how many cals please help me out
Edit: words r hard
[Discussion] Easier to restrict in summer or winter?
/u/thinismygame [5'6.5" | 125 | 22F | 🍑: kateee]
Created: Wed Dec 6 07:27:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hycvz/easier_to_restrict_in_summer_or_winter/
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I am the WORST at restricting when it’s cold outside :( all I want is warm comfort food, plus holidays literally all the time. In the summer I’m able to be outside constantly and eating in the heat makes me feel gross.
Ughhhhhhh give me warmth. I’m moving to Hawaii. Or Texas. Get me outta the Midwest 4 real.
[Intro] I love the holidays, but…
/u/happymasq [5'6'' | BMI 17.8 | 26F]
Created: Wed Dec 6 06:28:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hy0cf/i_love_the_holidays_but/
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This is the first holiday season since my eating habits took a negative turn six months ago. I’ve engaged in binging and purging behaviours occasionally since 2014, but I only did it once every few months, and only when I was drunk. The shift to frequent (at least once a week) and sober purging coincided with the onset of major depression back in June.
I’ve been coping alright, and most of the time, this food thing is pretty low on my list of concerns. But the holidays have brought it to the forefront.
First (as I’m sure has been pointed out here a billion times) is the fact that we’re bombarded with hearty meals and tasty treats throughout the entire month of December. It’s hard for me to decline these things, because everyone knows me as a bottomless pit/dessert hound, and no one knows how tough it’s become for me to indulge without purging.
Refusing to eat will only draw more attention to the second issue: the fact that I’ve lost about 7lbs since June when I was already small to begin with. It’s not noticeable to me when I look in the mirror, but my clothes are bigger on me, so it must have had an impact. I know what I’ll say (“been going through a tough time and haven’t as much of an appetite” which isn’t untrue) but I’ll also have to eat well to keep up appearances.
But I still love the holidays. I’m trying to make the best of it and not worry anyone.
Just needed to vent a bit and thought I'd post because I know I'm not alone in this.
[Discussion] December 6th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 6 05:36:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hxqqj/december_6th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What did you gain today?
Lmao weight
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! December 06, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Dec 6 05:12:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hxmkd/daily_food_diary_december_06_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 06, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday December 06, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Dec 6 05:10:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hxmd0/way_to_go_wednesday_december_06_2017/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for December 06, 2017.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Other] This is probably not going to end well...
/u/throw-away-6669
Created: Wed Dec 6 05:05:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hxlez/this_is_probably_not_going_to_end_well/
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So I've been binging since Thanksgiving and haven't really pooped much. I look pregnant and I can tell that there's a lot of backup.
I tried magnesium citrate a few days ago and it didn't do much. I pooped a bit, but not much.
I drank a bottle at 10pm last night. Nothing. Drank some coffee a few hours later. Nothing. I then used a glycerin suppository at 2:30am. Nothing. I'm now drinking a second bottle of magnesium citrate at 4am. I've also been chugging water but it's not helping.
I have dulcolax (a stimulant lax) but I don't want to take it because I have to go in to work in 6 hours and I don't want to shit myself in public.
Please send thoughts and prayers for my colon
EDIT: I was right, this was a terrible idea. On the plus side, it's definitely working.
[Rant/Rave] Tiny post
/u/BunnyAwesome
Created: Wed Dec 6 04:43:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hxhzx/tiny_post/
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Just to say I'm currently holidaying in Japan where clothing is tiny and I went clothes shopping today and bought mediums and they're comfortable bordering on baggy and I feel so good right now :3
[Rant/Rave] I posted on r/normalnudes and everyone said I looked fine/good/healthy so I guess that means i gotta lose even more!
/u/bagelzboi [5'3 | CW:83bs | GW: 13.5 BMI | 21F ]
Created: Wed Dec 6 04:26:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hxffo/i_posted_on_rnormalnudes_and_everyone_said_i/
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Just wondering what your daily calories limits are?
/u/aliceintheair
Created: Wed Dec 6 03:27:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hx6z2/just_wondering_what_your_daily_calories_limits_are/
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Just curious to see where other people are restricting to,
I’m 5’7 and 52kg and restrict to around 500 a day plus exercise but it’s getting difficult to maintain that.
[Goal] Breaking the Binge Cycle
/u/cloudsofdawn [169cm - 5'6.5' | CW: 119.9lbs | 19.1 BMI | -23lbs | F]
Created: Wed Dec 6 03:23:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hx6io/breaking_the_binge_cycle/
---
Lately I’ve been really struggling, especially with sugar. I ran out of E for ECA stacking and depression has really been getting me down. Que binge. I’ve been doing it for a few weeks now and I started doing intermittent fasting for the last week but I keep feeling like a failure.
I’m up around 8lbs of actual fat (not water weight) and I really want to do an actual water fast. I have the hardest time getting past the first few days and keep making excuses.
Tomorrow I’m going to write out my reasons to fast (some of which are to get a handle on this whole sugar addiction and to help my acne get better) and hopefully that will help.
I could really use some advice, support and maybe some relatable comments.
Going to attempt a Water Fast, maybe I will actually get past the first 24, 48 and 72 hours this time. Wish me luck !
[Help] Prozac weight loss - experiences?
/u/commtra [5'7 | BMI: 20 | GW:100 | -44 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 6 02:20:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hwxst/prozac_weight_loss_experiences/
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I’m going on it and I’ve read that one of the main side effects is loss of appetite.
I used to take Zoloft and that caused a 40lb weight gain. I’m super scared of that happening again.
[Discussion] DAE who struggles w ED have issues with their birth control?
/u/akizichi [5'4.5" | GW: 99 lb]
Created: Wed Dec 6 01:42:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hwsn9/dae_who_struggles_w_ed_have_issues_with_their/
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So, I have had my Mirena IUD for 1 year and 3 months now. It has normalized for the most part and I am in full amenorrhea.
I find it more difficult to lose weight even with heavy restriction than when I was menstruating regularly. I previously had issues with slight acne and my boobs were swollen and painful (C->D) and then shrank down to B which is really depressing, as I still feel (and am) fat everywhere else.
I would love to read about some of your experiences w ED & BC. I'm thinking of taking my Mirena out but I really cannot deal with mensuration right now. Non-hormonal IUDs just sound like a bloodbath to me.
I am not a very sexual person so I feel like the birth control aspect of Mirena is very much wasted on me. I hate having my period but feels like it would be impossible to achieve amenorrhea through my ED as my starting weight & bmi are quite low//normal.
Would like to hear your thoughts! Also, add me on Peach if you want an internet friend.
Edit: I crossposted this on my Peach if that's a better medium to talk about this stuff
🍑: akizichi
[Rant/Rave] My housemate broke my food scale and I'm anxious about eating
/u/InterchangeableMoon
Created: Wed Dec 6 01:34:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hwrhm/my_housemate_broke_my_food_scale_and_im_anxious/
---
My housemate accidentally broke my scale (Monday) by putting it next to the oven vent when he made his stupid fucking frozen chicken tenders. I already ordered another one on Amazon prime and it should be here later today (Wednesday), but it was upsetting because 1. He didn't offer to pay for it even though it's his fault it's broken and 2. I had very loose approximations of what I ate today and I don't like it having that control.
I stuck to vegetables I know the serving size for and other things I could measure by volume but I felt so frustrated NOT KNOWING. How do people deal with that???
I'll have to have an untracked breakfast cause Amazon packages don't show up till afternoon for my apartment, which I'm pretty mad about still but idk... I don't know how to not be so broken over something so trivial....
[Intro] Goal: 115 (New to Reddit, not new to ED)
/u/Zooyork96
Created: Wed Dec 6 01:31:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hwr5m/goal_115_new_to_reddit_not_new_to_ed/
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Hello Reddit!
I used to have anorexia when I was 18. I got to 80 pounds and a bmi of 13.7 and ended up deciding to go to treatment because I was told that I would die if I continued, as well as I wasn't happy and wanted to live life again. So, I recovered and got to 130 (I'm 5'4) which is a bmi of 22.3 (?) . I fell back a little bit after treatment and lost to 108, and then realized I was slipping and gained to 115. I felt amazing. I was small and thin, but I had energy still (it was a low, but normal bmi) I got so many looks in the past and I felt cute and pretty. I want to get back to that. I stayed 115 for a while, before gaining back to 130 upon entering a happy relationship.
I need tips on staying motivated to get back down to 115. My boyfriend doesn't want me to, as he is worried I will slip back again (he has been super accommodating to my recovery and amazing) but I really want it. It's frustrating because I KNOW I CAN DO IT, because I've gone to extremes before. I just don't know how to stay motivated or determined to do so anymore like I used to. I lack the self discipline. I have no trouble not eating when I'm mad/sad/depressed/worried. But most the time I am happy and I tend to eat when my boyfriend eats. He can eat whatever he wants because he is a dancer and he is super fit.
How can I stay motivated to stay on track? Any tips on how to lose kind of fast, but also in an effective way that will stick?
I work out 4 times a week, my job is involved with a lot of physical labor and I like dancing when my boyfriend does as well. My problem is obviously the calorie intake. My body before anorexia was 130 and I always seem to stay around 130 when I'm not paying attention to my weight. I'm fit, but I want to be small. My measurements are 36-26-37, so I essentially almost have an hourglass figure. I drink a lot of coffee and occasionally take Slimfast pills as they have caffeine and sort of help surpress my hunger.
How do you stay motivated? Any tips for me? Any general advice PLEASE, I really want to get to 115.
[Help] I need help dealing with binging
/u/thinsponeeded [5'6" | 113 | -17 | GW: 108 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 6 01:20:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hwpm9/i_need_help_dealing_with_binging/
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So I'm usually pretty good about restricting and not binging when I'm in a routine. However, I'm leaving the country I live in to go back to my home country in two weeks (and I won't be coming back. Problem is, my head is urging me to enjoy all the food one last time before I leave, but my body always resents it. I always regret it, the food is never as good as I hope. It's never worth it. But at the same time, it is? I'm really struggling here, because I usually deal with the stronge urges by telling myself I can have them later, but obviously that mental reasoning won't work.
Does anyone have suggestions on how I can overcome this thought process?
[Rant/Rave] Favorite ways to pass time while doing cardio?
/u/veganbutter99 [5'1" | CW 133lbs I GW 120lbs I HW 190lbs]
Created: Wed Dec 6 01:03:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hwn9m/favorite_ways_to_pass_time_while_doing_cardio/
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Its 3am my time and i just spent the past house stalking an ex coworkers instagram and she’s the most perfect looking person ever. I’d say 5’8” and no more than 105 pounds, has long black healthy hair down to her butt and sun kissed skin. Of course she has 35,000 followers.
I impulse bought a gym membership and am going to make myself go every day before i work, and i usually work 5-6 days a week. Maybe then i can be skinny but ill never be tall or tan and pretty ):
I also can't use the treadmill because of my knee but i love the elliptical and stair stepper. I know i can just watch youtube but i was really just looking for a way to vent :(
[Rant/Rave] I LITERALLY JUST BINGED ON A CUP OF PURE SUGAR
/u/ignorado [🍑: ignorado]
Created: Wed Dec 6 00:20:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hwh6x/i_literally_just_binged_on_a_cup_of_pure_sugar/
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WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
THERE IS NO GOING BACK NOW
I'M OFFICIALLY INSANE
JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's 2AM and I went the entire day just eating a bit of curry, went to bed at 1AM, got annoyed by something over text, and then literally went to my kitchen to get a cup of sugar and eat it.
WHAT THE FUCK. I can't fucking deal with myself, someone shoot me
Also is this considered a shit post (according to the side bar) cause GAHHH I JUST WANTED TO SCREAM SOMEWHERE
[Rant/Rave] finally was brave enough to try seeing a therapist
/u/101_honey [🌼5'1.5" / cw-2fat // wl-5bls// bmi-29 // gw-101]
Created: Tue Dec 5 23:53:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hwczx/finally_was_brave_enough_to_try_seeing_a_therapist/
---
gets ghosted by therapist
:|
[Help] Quick ways to lose face fat?
/u/z4ynmalik [5'3 | CW: 111 | GW: 95 🌻]
Created: Tue Dec 5 23:21:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hw839/quick_ways_to_lose_face_fat/
---
I know targeting specific parts of the body isn't ideal but I can lose weight everywhere except my face and its the one part of my body I really hate. Any tips?
[Tip] Just discovered the joys of hummus.
/u/lovelyannie [5’2” | 167 | 30.6 | -20lbs | Female]
Created: Tue Dec 5 23:01:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hw4k6/just_discovered_the_joys_of_hummus/
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35 calories per tablespoon. Paired with Christie Vegetable Thins (90 calories per 16 crackers), it makes an awesome snack. I made it my lunch today at work and I’m pretty sure I only ate like 160 calories and felt full for the whole afternoon.
I don’t even have words right now.
Just found the joys of hummus.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 5 22:59:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hw4ax/just_found_the_joys_of_hummus/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] does sleep deprivation aid weight loss
/u/bmddx
Created: Tue Dec 5 22:54:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hw3d4/does_sleep_deprivation_aid_weight_loss/
---
i only ask because i've heard varying answers— has anyone experienced any result with this (whether positive or negative)?
[Help] How do I not lose my hair
/u/confusedbutnoahoe
Created: Tue Dec 5 22:47:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hw2an/how_do_i_not_lose_my_hair/
---
Hi,
Just wondering I've done this all before and lost 20 pounds in 3 weeks but I lost a lot of my hair. I'm wondering how to prevent that this time? I NEED to lose this last of stomach fat (tips appreciated) but I really don't want to lose my hair again. Will taking biotin help?
Thanks in advance!
[Rant/Rave] Gaining weight for someone else doesn’t work.
/u/SilenceConspiracy
Created: Tue Dec 5 22:47:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hw2a0/gaining_weight_for_someone_else_doesnt_work/
---
If anything it just makes me feel like a fool. Especially if it’s because of a guy, and the thing is I know I won’t ever have him as more than a friend. So if I ignored all my other friends who encouraged me to eat, why did I listen to him? So he’d find me more attractive? Whenever I see the pictures of females he finds so attractive I mentally cringe, it’s too heavy in my opinion. All the weight I lost I have now gained back in a matter of 2 months.
The funny thing was, I didn’t quite mind it 25% of the time. Some days I even felt a bit attractive. This morning I didn’t mind my body, I actually thought it looked nice. Now it’s the complete opposite. I want to lose it all again, I just feel like it’d make me feel better. Actually, I know it would.
It’d give me a purpose. I don’t want to be fat and cry over him like a pathetic, pubescent, teenage drama queen. Not eating makes me feel superior, and I know it’s wrong to find myself above others because I can stop eating. It’s all pseudo power, I know it is.
It’s just that both my heart and head hurts and I don’t really know how to deal with it. I want to blame him for making me think I should eat, that I actually could eat. Emotions are stupid. An emotional mind is a narrow mind. I don’t much care for this. I was the fool in this case, blaming him doesn’t amount to much when all along I always have had the power not to put something in my mouth.
If there’s two things that I know to be true of myself is that 1) I get off on unrequited love and 2) I also get off on restricting. Looks like Christmas will be another repeat of last year, I can’t wait to fight with my family once again over what to put in my mouth.
The issue is that I don’t want to hurt him, I’m not doing it for a cry of attention or help. I know it’ll upset him and he’ll blame himself but I don’t even think I can maintain my current weight. He couldn’t understand in the first place that this just DOES NOT GO AWAY. The numbers are always there. The guilt is always there. The delusions and paranoia are always swirling in the back of my mind. Yeah I wish I wasn’t like this, but I am, and it doesn’t have anything to do with you, it’s all on me. It’s my fault. All of it’s my fault.
[Rant/Rave] little things that fuel your ed
/u/Petite-Fee
Created: Tue Dec 5 22:45:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hw1xe/little_things_that_fuel_your_ed/
---
ugh so in like August I was at a football game and a guy I kinda knew who was really cute asked me if I wanted a piggyback ride
I said yeah and then we made out a little
and he told my best friend he liked me
But then he started dating another girl. the girl who used to kinda bully me in middle school. it only lasted like a month but I was kinda hurt
To this day I think about it and I think “the reason why he didn’t want to date me was because he realized how fat I was when I was on his back”
we don’t even talk anymore lol
sorry ik this sounds like the most highschool thing ever but seriously who woulda thunk that one piggyback ride would motivate me to starve myself for months. I mean I had an ED before that but that was kinda the turning point
the cherry on top is that the girl he dated is actually overweight. so I know I’m being an irrational ass bitch. but I can’t stop thinking like this
God I need to get over him
[Rant/Rave] Sugar free food is the absolute worst thing to binge on.
/u/gracefullystupid
Created: Tue Dec 5 22:24:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hvy75/sugar_free_food_is_the_absolute_worst_thing_to/
---
Man it’s been a while since I’ve posted here, I’ve had a very bad past couple of months. Binging almost every day since my 98 hour fast in the beginning of October. I’ve only really had a few good days since then. My fiancé quit his job and has been through a couple since so he’s been here every day almost, besides a couple of weeks, and it’s hard to restrict around him. Well I got tired of it a couple weeks ago and have been pretty good on restricting, with this past week being great cause I’ve been sick so it’s been coffee, soup, and vegetables every day. Until today. I felt better today, and I did good, had an unwich from Jimmy Johns, and then i really wanted brownies and found some sugar free ones, baked them with applesauce and banana rather than egg/oil. Ate 2. Great. I was under 1000 for the day.
So about a couple hours ago, I got hungry 😑
Binged on ramen and about 5? of those brownies. ALSO. I’ve been eating sugar free cough drops all day and for the past like 3 days. SO MANY. And anyone who has binged on sugar free anything probably knows what I’m going through right now 😭
BUT. There is one benefit and we all know what that is lol. Still never doing it again. Lesson learned. Also been seeing some mono posts on here lately, kind of inspired to do one. But with eggs cause I’ve done it before and know the results are amazing.
[Rant/Rave] binge
/u/fortunate-foolx [62 in. | 217 lb | 39 | -13 | 18F]
Created: Tue Dec 5 22:02:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hvu4j/binge/
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i fucking just had a custard and a fucking tub of frosting that i don’t even deserve. i don’t even like sweets :/
[Discussion] How much purging is too much?
/u/SpaceWhale88
Created: Tue Dec 5 21:18:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hvlub/how_much_purging_is_too_much/
---
I know bulimia can cause heart problems and seizures but how much do you have to purge to get there? I was trying to find something online but everything is so black and white and I cant find anything on levels of severity. I really dont think 1x per week is too much. Its been as much as 3x but now its less.
To have really bad health consequences dont you have to do it at least daily or multiple times per day?
[Tip] Starbucks Tip: Light Fraps are 110-210 cals (grande)
/u/BlackHairedBloodElf [❤ 5' 2" 💛 CW: 99.8 💚 GW: 99 💙 18.2 💜 F ❤]
Created: Tue Dec 5 21:00:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hvi1i/starbucks_tip_light_fraps_are_110210_cals_grande/
---
You can go into the Starbucks app under Order > Menu > Frappucinos and scroll way down to find the light fraps. They run 110-210 cal for a grande. Note this means no topping or whip. Full whip is 80 cals. You can opt for light whip and light topping but I haven't found the calories for that yet.
Also note that this includes holiday flavors. It may take a few days for the light version of the frap to get added to the app if its a new flavor.
Hope this helps people out. I never knew there were so many light frappucino flavors until I found the light menu in the app by accident one day. This new menu is a life saver. ❤
Can’t lose because of alcohol.
/u/penny2cents [5'11" | 115.6 lbs | 16.1 BMI | F]
Created: Tue Dec 5 20:59:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hvhub/cant_lose_because_of_alcohol/
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Should I switch to liquor? I consume so many calories drinking that I might as well be eating maintenance. The calories for every beer/wine are WAY too high. Why do I keep ruining my goals to feel numb, instead of losing weight?
Edit: can’t flair on mobile. Idk, maybe rant?
[Discussion] Have a read and tell me what you think!
/u/aliciagris816
Created: Tue Dec 5 20:40:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hve36/have_a_read_and_tell_me_what_you_think/
---
http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/cover_story/2015/12/we_need_to_reject_the_false_narratives_around_anorexia.html
[Discussion] Does anyone else feel like they lose weight slowly?
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW:142 |CW:123 |20.6 |GW:110 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 5 20:30:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hvc1o/does_anyone_else_feel_like_they_lose_weight_slowly/
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I’ve seen so many people post about losing so much weight in a month or losing a pound a week and stuff. I know bodies are different and metabolism is a thing, but it frustrates me that I feel like I lose weight so slowly. I restrict so much, why the hell isn’t the weight just falling off of me??? I try and drink water and stuff, but even that doesn’t necessarily help all the time :-(
Between August and now I’ve lost like 15 pounds even though I restrict a lot. I feel like it should be so much more. I’m just so frustrated.
[Rant/Rave] "You make weird sounds when you eat"
/u/Fatalope [5'4| CW 150 | GW 104 |HW 168 | 19 F]
Created: Tue Dec 5 20:30:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hvc1f/you_make_weird_sounds_when_you_eat/
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Who the fuck says that to some one? And why?
My fiancee, who knows about my disordered eating, said that to me today wtf. I have a small splurge of the cooked ham and some mustard and now i was to restrict for the next year because apparently i make weird sounds when i eat and now can never eat in public. Or private. Or really ever again.
[Discussion] I tried coffee for the first time today
/u/Idunnoking [5’1 | CW98.8| GW95 | 16F✨]
Created: Tue Dec 5 20:24:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hvap5/i_tried_coffee_for_the_first_time_today/
---
HOLY HELL its so good. I thought I’d hate it but I added a bit of salt and zero cal sweetener and it was delicious, plus I don’t usually drink caffeinated beverages so I basically had a buzz. Right now I’m trying to ‘recover’ (? Not really but just higher restrict so that I’m slow down my weight loss a bit because I think I was starting to concern people, yikes) but damn it killed any hunger I had 😂 whoops. Tell me your favourite additives for coffee! I know there’s flavoured syrups but I’m broke so I’m curious as to how everyone here has theirs 🙂
[Discussion] Have you found that your ED has made you more dedicated/hard working?
/u/Petite-Fee
Created: Tue Dec 5 20:19:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hv9v0/have_you_found_that_your_ed_has_made_you_more/
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Whenever I’m hardcore restricting I always just have to keep myself busy to not binge. So I spend a lot more time on homework/studying, and on my other interests like language learning and EDM production.
Restricting for me usually goes along with barely any sleep, so it’s not uncommon for me to sit in front of the computer with a cup of coffee from 8 PM to 5 AM on Reaper
Does your restriction cycle start fast or slow?
/u/aetolica [5'4" | F | 31]
Created: Tue Dec 5 20:15:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hv8ui/does_your_restriction_cycle_start_fast_or_slow/
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EDNOS here: I go through long cycles of restricting and binging. Whenever a major restricting cycle has started, it's super sudden - I just stop eating, or go from 2,000 calories to something like 650 + exercise.
Wondering what it's like for others here with similar ED patterns. Do you gradually restrict from high to low, cycle off and on, something else?
[Help] Help me estimate how many calories I ate?
/u/mintslut [4'11 | CW: 111.2 | UGW: 84 | -12.4lbs | F]
Created: Tue Dec 5 19:22:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hux49/help_me_estimate_how_many_calories_i_ate/
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Hi everyone, so I had lunch with my boyfriend today and we went out for sushi. I've checked and double checked on the internet the approximate amount of calories in the food I ate today, but I'd still like some second opinions.
Here's what I had:
* approximately 1 cup of miso soup, with seaweed/nori (did not eat), small soft tofu pieces (about four or five, size of chopped onions), and green onions (about 1 tbsp): **85 calories**
* "Garden salad" which was literally just a couple leaves of iceberg lettuce with some kind of coconut dressing. I'd say I had half a cup of the lettuce and scraped off the dressing: **15 calories** (4 calories for the lettuce, ~10 for how much ever dressing I consumed. Thankfully, it wasn't oil-based)
* 6 pieces cucumber maki rolls, approximately the length of a thumb (2 inches) and width of a quarter (1 inch). Not overfilled: **140 calories**
* 6 pieces avocado maki rolls, approximately the same size as the cucumber maki rolls, also not overfilled: **170 calories** (I got a lot of different estimates on the internet, and I'm going with this one as it's on the higher end, but not absurd based on how much food I saw)
* **Total:** 410 calories
Does this look about right to you guys? I didn't eat anything else today, and I came out under my calorie goal for the day (427 calories) so, naturally, I'm feeling suspicious.
**Edit**: Fuck it all, I'm just gonna say I had 1200 calories today and call it a night.
[Discussion] Best anorexia movies?
/u/ch3rrycat
Created: Tue Dec 5 18:55:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hur2u/best_anorexia_movies/
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My favourite movies from what I've watched are (from most to least favourite):
To the bone, my skinny sister, starving in suburbia, for the love of nancy, feed, when friendship kills.
I like more recent movies more because of the cinematics. thanks.
[Help] Low calorie/no calorie ways to induce nausea?
/u/hunterxgreen [5'4'' | CW: 162 | GW: bones | F]
Created: Tue Dec 5 18:54:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7huqpw/low_calorieno_calorie_ways_to_induce_nausea/
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I started a new medication last week and when you first start it sometimes your body has to adjust and for me that meant like feeling nauseated all the time. I never threw up but it was bad enough that the thought of food made me sick. Restriction was tons easier bc food sounded like the last thing I wanted.
This side effect is wearing off but I kinda want to continue this in someway? Is there anyway to do this? Ideally without having to eat much or anything? Thanks
[Help] Question about dizziness
/u/Just-That-Other-Guy [5'11" | CW: 148 lbs | BMI: 20.6 | SW: 230 lbs | -82 lbs]
Created: Tue Dec 5 18:51:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7huq6c/question_about_dizziness/
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I have pretty bad carbphobia so have lately been eating very few of them. This combined with my low calorie intake resulted in my blood sugar dropping dangerously low. To remedy this I spent 2 days binging (though a binge for me is eating at TDEE) and that resolved the issue. Now I'm back to restricting and am getting really dizzy all over again so I tried to use all of my calories (800) for the day on sugary/carby things hoping it would stave off the dizziness. It didn't quite work. In y'alls experience, am I doomed to eat more if I want the dizziness to go away? I thought with it being a blood sugar issue that having a steady supply of sugar would fix it. Think I can get away with just keeping up the steady carb supply? I think I already know the answer to this question and I find it very upsetting.
Tall Girls: Waist Size?
/u/alicejays [5'10 | CW 132.9lbs | 19.07 | 7.1lbs lost | F]
Created: Tue Dec 5 18:44:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7huoic/tall_girls_waist_size/
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Hey, everyone. You guys can call me Alice; I've lurked through this community for awhile, and I am now finally engaging.
I know this is my first post, but I have a nagging question that I've been trying to figure out for awhile – even as a teenager. I am 5'10, and even at my lowest weight of 129 lbs, my waist size was ~28". Is this natural of tall girls, or am I just huge?
If you taller ladies are comfortable with sharing, what is your waist size/the lowest waist size you got to?
[Discussion] [Discussion] At what BMI were you able to do the fingers around your bicep thing?
/u/ssfbgm
Created: Tue Dec 5 18:44:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7huohi/discussion_at_what_bmi_were_you_able_to_do_the/
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I’m at about 20 bmi and still not there. Not even close. My biceps are like thighs and I hate them they’re disgusting. Easily my most hated body part. All I want is small delicate arms to match my inability to lift anything. It’s not like it’s muscle. All flab. I can only wrap my fingers halfway around.
[Discussion] I hate how I spend so much time planning meals and calculating calories but I need to lose weight and I also like to/feel compelled to obsess over things. Still do you ever wonder how much more you could accomplish if you spent less time on food? Bums me out
/u/quoth_the_phoenix
Created: Tue Dec 5 18:18:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7huit5/i_hate_how_i_spend_so_much_time_planning_meals/
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[Help] I just binged on plain brown sugar and pepperoni, what a fucking stupid waste.
/u/UnrecoverableFuss [5'4 | GW 115 | CW 166 | HW/LW 198/98 | 28F]
Created: Tue Dec 5 18:18:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7huirr/i_just_binged_on_plain_brown_sugar_and_pepperoni/
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Fuck fuck fuck me. I have been doing amazing for 3 months straight. Not even the most minor of slip-ups. Just one night of too many alcohol calories, which was followed by an easy hungover fast the next day.
Today I have consumed around 4,000 calories. I am fucking PANICKING. Of course I chose the worst possible time to do this. I have a goal I need to hit by xmas to fit into certain items of clothing. If I don't, I will have nothing to wear, and I can't fucking afford to shop right now.
On top of that, I can't fast tomorrow because I've had a day trip planned with my husband for forever. I can probably get by under 1000, but that is what I have been doing already and it won't help compensating for this binge. I'm afraid I'll have a harder time fasting the day after that because I won't be stuffed full of food and feeling disgusting anymore.
I feel like such a weak fatass saying that because I know so many of you are underweight and fast for days on end, but I honestly don't even know if I can fast for one day. If I don't have ~500 cal/day of food to look forward to, I don't feel like life is worth living. How horrible is that? How fucking ridiculous? I am awful.
[Help] It's 2am and I'm lying awake panicking
/u/little-paws
Created: Tue Dec 5 18:06:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hug2z/its_2am_and_im_lying_awake_panicking/
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I binged a few times this past week. I was down to 128 and now I'm back up to 131. I feel like an absolute whale and I can feel all of my blubber on my belly and my chin.
In a week my goal was to be down to 125, and I was so close and now I just feel like it's not going to happen.
Is it even possible? 6 pounds in a week? I don't care if it's temporary water weight that I'll lose, I just need someone to tell me that it's theoretically possible.
[Rant/Rave] what's wrong with me
/u/throwingmeunderabus
Created: Tue Dec 5 18:01:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7huevx/whats_wrong_with_me/
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I hit a new low (not weight, still a fat pig lmao).
Okay, I'm ashamed to even say this but whatever...
I feel extremely unloved lately, so I thought "If I successfully starve for the next month, I can be skinny enough when I go back to school after the holidays. And if I'm skinny enough, people will finally notice my pain and give me attention!". Yes, I'm messed up.
So now I'm fasting.
[Discussion] Workout routines?
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW:142 |CW:123 |20.6 |GW:110 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 5 18:01:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7huev3/workout_routines/
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Just wondering what workouts or exercises you guys usually do! I feel like I can never handle super strenuous workouts anymore since I restrict to about 300 calories or less a day. I usually make myself do 100 crunches every night before bed and some leg lifts for my inner thighs. Do you guys have a certain daily routine or anything that you find to be really effective?
[Rant/Rave] Freaking the F@!& out
/u/light_as_a_feather04 [5'6 | 108 | 17.4 | GW: 98| 34/F]
Created: Tue Dec 5 17:55:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hudkc/freaking_the_f_out/
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So I had a doctors appointment at the end of June. I go every 6 months because I’m prescribed Prozac and she likes to check up on me 2 x a year. When I went in June, my weight was 122.5, my alkaline phosphatase was low, my glucose was slightly elevated and my potassium was a little high. I’m supposed to go back at the end of December for more blood work (because of my electrolyte levels earlier this year) and they’re going to weigh me. I weighed 107.6 about 20 minutes ago. I’m fucked. They’re going to ask me questions about my “eating habits” and have me do another ekg. Fuck fuckity fuck fuck.
[Other] Repeat after me: one bad day will not make you fat.
/u/oneblueboot [5'8" | CW 135 lbs | GW 120 | 20.5 | 26 F]
Created: Tue Dec 5 17:48:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hubyt/repeat_after_me_one_bad_day_will_not_make_you_fat/
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I was considering skipping my ballet class just so I wouldn’t need to eat anything else today, and then I realized that’s a major slap in the face to the ONE THING I promised I’d never let myself give up.
So I started planning what I would eat before class, and then I realized that I’m at 1200 calories for the day if I have my 1/2 apple and Quest bar. But if I don’t eat this, I’ll barely make it through the first hour.
So now I’m about 300 cal over my daily limit, hating myself for eating, hating myself for feeling strong and active as a result of eating, hating the sensation of being full, and almost ready to purge it all out again.
Deeeep breath....one day at 1200 will not set me back. I can just fast tomorrow on my off-day. I can enjoy class tonight, earn these extra calories and get back on track tomorrow.
Today’s mantra, if it helps anyone else. One bad day will not make you fat.
[Discussion] (Serious/Trigger) Does any of this ever make you feel suicidal?
/u/sourcandylightening [BMI 16.8]
Created: Tue Dec 5 17:08:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hu25o/serioustrigger_does_any_of_this_ever_make_you/
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[Discussion] Has anyone else caught themselves in a huge web of lies to cover up their ED?
/u/friedshallots
Created: Tue Dec 5 16:47:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7htxbx/has_anyone_else_caught_themselves_in_a_huge_web/
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It is so messy and fucked up, and I only just recently realized how bad it's gotten. I wish I could just cut ties from all my past friends and start completely clean in a town where no one knows my old weight and I can pretend I'm """"naturally skinny""""
But also I love my friends so much and could never do that
[Tip] Oh my fucking god
/u/oFILo
Created: Tue Dec 5 16:32:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7httvk/oh_my_fucking_god/
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https://i.redd.it/7i3190ycv6201.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Finally asked for help only to be disappointed
/u/alliknowis___
Created: Tue Dec 5 16:17:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7htq5v/finally_asked_for_help_only_to_be_disappointed/
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I've been struggling on and off with disordered eating/body dysmorphia for probably 15 years now. It took a long time (like maybe only in the last few years) to be comfortable enough to talk about it with my 2 best friends, boyfriend, and most recently my mom. Granted other than with my boyfriend I'll only talk about it maybe once or twice a year with the others during times of stress. I've been able to manage without therapy and never purged so up until recently minus a really low point here or there.
The past few years it's gotten harder and harder to manage. I'm in an intense stressful program (this year being notoriously an 11 out of 10 on the difficulty scale), have two hobbies where I perform in leotards that are demanding, plus work and a social life. The stress finally boiled over and I got really into b&p. I used my mom's credit card for grubhub to pay for all that food to essentially waste not caring about the consequences. Finally she got the bill and read me every item I bought and it drove me into a depressive spell that I've never experienced.
After 5 days, I picked myself up and admitted that if I'm going to survive and get my degree that I'd need to seek therapy (which my boyfriend has been encouraging me to do for quite some time). I got a referral from school for some specialists that accept our schools insurance and found someone who seemed like a great fit. It took a lot to send that first email about a consultation because I'm scared. Both scared to ask for help and scared that I'll be told that I need it.
We email back and forth and set up an appointment for Thursday. Thankfully in her last email she explained that she's out of network. I looked up what that would mean financially and I can't afford it. Probably won't be able to until I graduate in 2020. If I graduate. Now I'm a puffy, snotty mess who feels like a fool for thinking that I could get help. And I have finals next week so I can't afford to mope. My boyfriend offered to pay half or ask his dad to assist since my family can't afford to, but it was hard enough to seek help in the first place from a therapist let alone asking for/accpting handouts.
Only brightside is now I'm too sad to eat again. When life gives you lemons you make a lemon cayenne pepper cleanse.
[Discussion] DAE get annoyed when they purge and dont know how many calories you got out and what foods they belong to?
/u/beatrizpardo
Created: Tue Dec 5 15:49:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7htj5u/dae_get_annoyed_when_they_purge_and_dont_know_how/
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[removed]
[Help] DAE bruise like a peach for seemingly no reason? If so, what do you do about it?
/u/Pans_Flabyrinth [5'5.75" | 105.8 | BMI: 17 | -28.2 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 5 15:37:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7htg6l/dae_bruise_like_a_peach_for_seemingly_no_reason/
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As of late I've been accumulating quite a hefty collection of bruises. It's kind of wigging me out. My elbows, my knees, the back of my leg, my spine, my *hand*...like wtf? They're unsightly and people are starting to notice. I'm assuming it's related to my ED, but I don't know if it's a vitamin deficiency or if I've developed a clotting problem or what. Does anyone else here experience this? Has anyone found something that helps? I'm open to all suggestions. Vitamins, body makeup, anything. I'm desperate lol.
i made a peach and i need friends
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 140.2 | BMI 27.3 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26 F]
Created: Tue Dec 5 15:29:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hte23/i_made_a_peach_and_i_need_friends/
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[removed]
[Other] Words can't describe how much this scares me
/u/datnastaythrowaway [H 164 | CW 56kg | GW: 50kg]
Created: Tue Dec 5 15:08:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ht8q9/words_cant_describe_how_much_this_scares_me/
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https://i.redd.it/x4qoxmsbg6201.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Humiliated myself three times in one night and accidentally started No Drive Thru December..
/u/notathrowaway836
Created: Tue Dec 5 15:05:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ht7vt/humiliated_myself_three_times_in_one_night_and/
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Oh god. Ok. So.
McDolands released garlic parmesean fries this week. The fuckers couldn’t have released more of a trigger food for me. So, I decided that I wouldn’t even fight it, I would just grab some and get it over with and hopefully not even like them.
The other night, I left my boyfriend’s and decided to try the fries. I was too ashamed to tell him that I was going to McD’s at 1am like a fat fiend, especially since we ate at his house, so I lied and said I had gotten home safe and sound when really I was in the drive-through (already kind of embarrassing).
HUMILIATION 1: I DROVE THROUGH A FUCKING BARRICADE TO GET TO THE ORDER WINDOW. I didn’t even notice, but they had stacked some bins to stop people from driving through!! I drove right over them like an idiot. The guy working there came out and basically shamed me lol, saying he was training someone and couldn’t have people barging in and constantly asking for food. Like legit “it’s for five or ten minutes. Do you think you can wait five or ten minutes? Do you seriously need mcdonalds this badly?” Another guy drove through them too, but was like “she drove through them first so I thought it was ok!!” So basically I just attracted all sorts of attention and disgust. So I left, sad and feeling like a fat fuck.
HUMILIATION 2: well shit, I hadn’t gotten my fries yet. So I drove my ass to the next closest McDonalds. I got there and ordered, to have the guy say in the most annoyed voice “WE DON’T HAVE THEM AT THIS HOUR.” So I was like omg I Iiterally am a fat fiend. So I panicked and said never mind, and ended up stuck waiting behind a car full of hot guys for like twenty minutes at the window until I sped off in shame.
HUMILIATION 3: at this point, I was in full fuck-it mode and wanted some kind of fast food. So I went to another place and asked for a poutine. AND GUESS WHAT. THEY DIDNT MAKE POUTINES AT THAT HOUR EITHER. The girl was super bitchy about it to make it worse, like almost laughing at me in a really snooty way.
To top it all off, I got myself a bagel and ate it out of spite because I was so embarrassed about everything. So I can’t even say that at least I was prevented from eating shit food.
Anyways, seeing as I’ve embarrassed myself at three different restaurants in the vicinity of my house, I think I might start a “No Drive Thru December” rule lol. Feel free to join.
[Discussion] For those of you who are losing weight, is it to become more or less attractive?
/u/pleasegodnofuck [5'3 | 852lbs | 155.1 | -11lbs | ?]
Created: Tue Dec 5 14:59:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ht6jj/for_those_of_you_who_are_losing_weight_is_it_to/
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I know there's a pretty mixed bag on the sub, but I'd like to get an idea of the number of people on either side. Please feel free to be as detailed as possible behind your reasoning. I love hearing about this shit.
[Rant/Rave] Getting jealous of people who effortlessly forget to eat under high stress situations
/u/toffeenot [5'5" | beluga | -40 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 5 14:51:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ht4hq/getting_jealous_of_people_who_effortlessly_forget/
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Saw an old roommate recently over Thanksgiving, I lived with her for over a year. I always was scared to diet around her, because she was nosy, but also really skinny. She was the type to skip meals on accident and was really into group yoga and ran out in sports bras because she was really fit and wasn't self conscious like I was. She was really nice to me but she would criticize when I looked like I was dieting.
I haven't seen her in over a year after college, but I saw her recently over the break. Someone in my friend group commented how much weight she lost, and she was like "my job is been pretty demanding and I have a tight deadline so I haven't been able to eat or go out much". I know this is probably unhealthy on her part, but I'm literally so fucking jealous. I literally have to mentally tell myself not eat and it's the hardest battle.
I was too scared to ask her how stressed she was to forget to eat because I didn't want to pry, but when I'm fucking stressed out, all I want to do is eat everything... :(
[Other] This resonated with me. Not eating isn't just about the weight. It's about the satisfying feeling of self neglect.
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Tue Dec 5 14:11:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hsu5l/this_resonated_with_me_not_eating_isnt_just_about/
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https://imgur.com/p1YiRuW
[Help] HELP!! TMI poop/laxatives/intestinal DEATH
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 151.5 | GW: 118 | -15.3 | F24]
Created: Tue Dec 5 13:58:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hsqrf/help_tmi_pooplaxativesintestinal_death/
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Right I know I shouldn't have taken them but guys....I just wanted to poop out my weekend binge :( I took 3 dulcolax (5mg bisacodyl each) around 11:30am, it's 4pm now. WHEN WILL IT STOP?! I didn't even think they would work that fast but since they did, does that mean the nightmare will be over soon?
[Rant/Rave] Had a breakdown over a tagged picture of myself
/u/sconnie420
Created: Tue Dec 5 13:18:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hsglt/had_a_breakdown_over_a_tagged_picture_of_myself/
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First time poster, so I’m sorry if I screw this up. I’m usually a lurker but I really needed to vent today.
My friend recently got married and I was a bridesmaid. I was super happy to be part of her special day, but I’ve honestly been dreading the day she posts pictures because I absolutely hate seeing myself.
Well, today was the day. And they were worse than I even imagined. I look gargantuan next to all of the petite bridesmaids and it literally made me want to delete my Facebook.
So I’ve been binging in bed and crying all day. Ugh ☹️
Can anyone else relate??
I’m also on mobile if a mod could tag this as a rant for me, thanks
[Tip] EC(A) STACKING 101: my little guide for you lovely people
/u/ignorado [🍑: ignorado]
Created: Tue Dec 5 13:02:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hscj2/eca_stacking_101_my_little_guide_for_you_lovely/
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I wanted to make this guide for people who are interested in EC(A) stacking but need guidance on where to start. I’ve done a lot of research on this topic and don’t feel bad sharing this information because this isn’t necessarily harmful, and I couldn’t find reliable, comprehensive guides like this when I first tried it.
---
*EC(A) broken down*
**What is EC(A) stacking?**
Simply put, it’s taking a combination of drugs to aid in weight loss. The combination consists of ephedrine, caffeine, and aspirin. The reason for why I put aspirin in parenthesis is because it’s not necessary; I’ll get into this more below.
The reason for why these drugs are taken together is because when they are combined, it creates a reaction in your body that speeds up your metabolism and suppresses your appetite. This makes it so it’s easier to control your eating and it can kick you out of a plateau if you’ve found yourself stuck at a certain weight for a while.
The combination of ephedrine and caffeine is good for weight loss because... (according to Larry Hobb’s study “Ephedrine and Caffeine: The Ideal Diet Pill?”):
1. Increases fat loss,
2. Maintains muscle mass
3. Prevents the fall of HDL cholesterol during weight loss
4. Increases insulin sensitivity
5. Reduces lipogenesis
6. Is very safe
**Ephedrine**
This is a stimulant most commonly found in asthma medication. A common brand that contains it is Bronkaid. In America, it can be found over the counter but is a regulated FDA approved drug, so you need to be 18+ and normally have to go to the pharmacist to purchase it. They track your ephedrine possession through your ID to make sure you aren’t abusing it for things like meth, but this isn’t something you have to worry about because the monthly amount you need for proper EC(A) stacking is minimal when compared to the limit of 9 grams.
**Caffeine**
We pretty much already know everything there is to know about caffeine but I’m including this anyway. Caffeine is also a stimulant that pumps up your nervous system and gives you energy. There’s some research that shows it increases your metabolism by secreting adrenaline into your body, but pairing it with ephedrine gives you the maximal results.
**Aspirin**
It helps norepinephrine levels from decreasing, which means that the effects of ephedrine and caffeine are prolonged. The combination of ephedrine and caffeine also increase your blood pressure, so aspirin is a good tool in reducing the chances of blood clotting. Aspirin can give some people headaches or nausea, so people often replace it with supplements that give similar blood thinning effects, such as fish oil.
**My recommended dosages**
EC(A) stacking is something you have to experiment with to find a fit for you. Some people get the results they want by pairing 12.5mg of ephedrine and 400mg of caffeine, others take 75mg of ephedrine and 200mg of caffeine. You kind of just have to play with it until you find something that works for you.
That being said, I suggest starting off with one dose containing 12.5mg (12.5mg specifically because this is one Bronkaid pill cut in half) of ephedrine and 100mg of caffeine twice a day. Then bump it up to 25mg of ephedrine and 200mg of caffeine per dose and slowly ramp up your dosage frequency. This is a schedule that’s been widely distributed on the internet and is relatively safe: http://i.imgur.com/5RlJPsk.png
Personally, I like to stay on the safer side and I stick to two dosages of 25mg ephedrine and 100mg of caffeine. It works for me, but like I said earlier, what works for me may not work for you.
**Conclusion**
EC(A) stacking can be an effective and safe method of short term weight loss if you do your research and dose appropriately. Your body will eventually adjust to it so people normally stick to it for a few weeks and taper off, wait a bit, and start up the cycle again. It’s not a miracle pill and won’t make you effortlessly lose a shit ton of weight, but it’s a great aid in controlling your appetite and helping you in your weight loss progress.
**Warnings**
Of course this isn’t something I would recommend for healthy weight loss. While it won't kill ya, it probably isn't the best mentally. This doesn’t build good habits and heavy abuse can lead to increased risk of cardiovascular problems and other harmful health conditions, so take your dosages in moderation. DO NOT even begin to think about EC(A) stacking if you suffer from heart problems, diabetes, kidney diseases, and seizures. There are other health conditions that may hinder the effects of EC(A) stacking or make it significantly dangerous for you – I don’t know your body or health so I can’t tell you if this is safe or not with whatever health condition you may have. That is for you to research and find out yourself.
Stay healthy! (Lol. We wish.)
---
Sources:
https://nccih.nih.gov/health/ephedra
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8384187
https://erowid.org/chemicals/ephedrine/ephedrine_law.shtml
http://healthpsych.psy.vanderbilt.edu/HealthPsych/ephedrine_caffeine.htm
https://www.canyons.edu/Offices/Health/Pages/Fat-Burners.aspx
*I edited this to get rid of all my typos! Haha, gotta be scholarly, amirite..
[Rant/Rave] pro tip: don't tell others what you think their size is???
/u/commtra [5'7 | BMI: 20 | GW:100 | -44 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 5 12:53:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hsa9n/pro_tip_dont_tell_others_what_you_think_their/
---
So I got a new job and their manager asked if I would like my uniform in a size large. I wear a size small or medium. Ruined my entire day and ended up binging on an entire pizza.
Feel like I'm delusional and actually buying smaller sizes than I should. Do I look larger than I actually am at a bmi of 20? Messed up everything in my head.
Really the takeaway from this is that I am dumb and get offended too easily.
[Discussion] Favorite soups?
/u/KajaIsForeverAlone [height:5'9 | CW: 135 BMI:20 | weight lost:25 lbs | Gender: F]
Created: Tue Dec 5 12:38:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hs65e/favorite_soups/
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I just bought a really awesome heavy duty thermos, and I need some good soups to load it with. What are your favorites?
(on mobile, can't flair)
[Discussion] DAE obsessively watch food shows?
/u/baileysuzette
Created: Tue Dec 5 12:37:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hs5vr/dae_obsessively_watch_food_shows/
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Shows like Chopped, GBBO, or Chef’s Table? I even watch people cook on YouTube and I love love going on to the different food-based subreddits and I don’t know why!! I’ve been eating at ~800 cals per day for a few weeks now and I might be going a bit off lol
I just love seeing the process of cooking and watching other people eat omg I sound like a loon
[Help] Why not purge?
/u/glorydaisy [5'3 | CW 123 | UGW 100]
Created: Tue Dec 5 12:25:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hs2z5/why_not_purge/
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I woke up really unwell this morning and knew I had to eat something. However, I can't stop thinking about how convenient it would be to just throw it all up. Still, I've heard from others that if you don't purge, don't start. I purged once, back in September, and it was really unpleasant, but nothing I wouldn't do again.
I just don't like the feeling of the food sitting there. It's trying to crawl back up my throat and choke me.
[Rant/Rave] My goal was 160 lbs. Now it's 120.
/u/Just-That-Other-Guy [5'11" | CW: 148 lbs | BMI: 20.6 | SW: 230 lbs | -82 lbs]
Created: Tue Dec 5 11:45:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hrs0h/my_goal_was_160_lbs_now_its_120/
---
I thought I'd be happier with my body when I got back down to 160. I told myself I don't really have an eating disorder, I'm just doing it to lose weight and when I'm healthy I'll stop. But there is so much fat. So now I tell myself I'll just lose fat and when I get to 120 I can add weight by putting on muscle. But I don't think that is actually going to happen. I want to be 100 lbs. I want to see that number so badly. But I think that might kill me. So I'm trying to keep my goal at 120 and I don't know if I can.
[Rant/Rave] Binge relapsing... UGH.
/u/littlebirbb [5'7" | -38]
Created: Tue Dec 5 11:36:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hrpr8/binge_relapsing_ugh/
---
Fuck me. Fuuuuuck.
I had stopped binging for SO long. I was on a different antidepressant that killed those urges and made me a productive human again. I loved it. But then I switched insurance (got married!) and it’s been impossible to get an appt with a psychiatrist so I’ve had to wean myself off the meds in the mean time. I put like 8 pounds back on in a month and a half before the wedding just eating like crap and now that I’m really almost off meds, I’m not hardcore binging again but I just eat whatever whenever and I hear that voice in my head telling me to stop but I just keep going...
The medication gave me what my psychiatrist referred to as a mild case of medication induced anorexia. She said it didn’t seem to be harming me all that much since I wasn’t dropping weight super rapidly and since I was obese beforehand, so she said we’d continue it to see if it evened out (it sort of did, thoughts were still there but I did have an appetite towards the end so idk what that all means) and if it did and it wasn’t harmful long term, and I stayed a healthy weight, she’d remove that smaller diagnosis and just work on the depression. It also gave me energy and the mindset to have some self-discipline. I dropped almost 40 pounds and now I’ve put back 10.
I know once I get back on my good meds I’ll be okay... but this whole thing has been such a mindfuck. A year ago I was 206 pounds. I’m kinda tall but not tall enough that that’s okay for me. I was down to 167 before wedding stress (and I suspect a need for an increase in meds that I couldn’t get) got to me.
I’m trying to work on it and my brain is still so messed up. Depression is crawling back in and some days I’m like “stop eating” and some days I’m like “eat everything” so what the fuck.
[Help] Need some information
/u/Fantasisingfunerals [5’8 | 118 | BMI: 18.0 | 17F]
Created: Tue Dec 5 11:32:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hromi/need_some_information/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Success and... a feeling of failure.
/u/artful_heart [5'7.5 | CW 100 | GW 92 | UGW 88 | BMI 15.61 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 5 11:02:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hrh0f/success_and_a_feeling_of_failure/
---
I managed to drop 3 pounds since Thursday - partly due to being sick as heck, partly due to liquid-only fasting Thursday & Friday (not having an appetite due to being sick makes that pretty easy), and partly due to eating 200 calories/day Saturday and Monday. Sunday I had four beignets (large, fried, square doughnuts covered in powdered sugar, for you poor souls who've never had one) at the only place to have beignets, Cafe du Monde, with my fiance (who had six)... but it doesn't seem to have made much of a difference, so yay!
I'm very pleased to be 100 lbs again. I'd like to be less than that, of course, but I was plateau-ing at 103 for what seemed like *forever*. It's a triumph that I'll gladly take.
*BUT*.... My BMI just didn't shift that much.
15.81 -> 15.61
Now, I know that it shouldn't be in the 14s *yet*, but for some reason I'd expected to be on the lower end of 15 at this height and weight. It feels like a failure. It feels like getting to a BMI of 14.*anything* is just impossible. I was expecting better, and now I'm wracked with anxiety and frustration and self-hate.
100 lbs isn't good enough. I knew that, but I'd been so pleased to see it this morning on the scale. It's great that I've dropped three pounds, but *dammit*, I need to do better. I'm a fool for expecting three pounds to make a big difference.
Ugh. Sorry. Just soooooooooo disappointed.
[Rant/Rave] Down 18lbs
/u/serenityswild
Created: Tue Dec 5 10:36:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hra3h/down_18lbs/
---
I’m down 18lbs, previously 160 now sitting at 142.
I’m still incredibly unhappy, but holy shit.
I’m 19, and I don’t think I’ve been this low in a while.
When I break into the 130’s, I haven’t been in there since MAYBE ( if that!) my first year of high school.
So why does it feel like I haven’t lost anything at all?
I always said if I lost 20lbs I would be happy.
But now that I’m seeing what a 20lb loss really looks like, I’m not happy at all....
[Rant/Rave] Wtf this number is going to be the death of me LOL
/u/I_donut_carrot_all [5'6| 85 | 13.71 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 5 10:27:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hr7lx/wtf_this_number_is_going_to_be_the_death_of_me_lol/
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Wtf, I can't get under 85 lbs. Like I know it's not physically impossible but it feels like it. It sounds like an oxymoron but not being able to break it is going to be what breaks me. This morning I actually had my old dealer dialed because I'm THAT crazy I've been considering my old life style (meth, clean 4 years) just so I can get under 85. I can't do that again. Because I know it'll kill me faster than this but what the fuck. Not to mention thoughts of purging but I refuse to start that shit because of my highly addictive personality, also I have nice teeth.
I restrict but eat higher cals, 800-1200, and it's what has worked for me for years and kept me healthy (well.. Besides the obvious) . But now idk what to do. I'm waking up with panic attacks knowing I'll see 85-86. I've calculated and recalculated and recalculated my Tdee but just can't figure it out.
Sorry I just had to put my thoughts somewhere. Long time lurker, I've had a few accounts on this sub. Just needed someone to know that this number is killing me - - I know losing more weight will too, but the alternatives this mental illness is making me consider are freaking me the fuck out. SOS. Thanks for letting me put my problems here.
[Help] Having physical symptoms that I had when extremely sick.
/u/taiteisnotcool [5'7 | 128ish? | 19.9 | -20 | Female]
Created: Tue Dec 5 09:51:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hqy96/having_physical_symptoms_that_i_had_when/
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Hi! I’m not new to this sub at all and am relapsing currently, restricting again but not to the same extremes as before (I ate 100-200 calories a day for months). But somehow now while eating around 1200, I’ve noticed getting really dizzy when standing up, my vision going black, and my heart will beat very fast and hard will doing simple things like walking to the bathroom or up stairs. I’m afraid that my orthostatic hypotension is back and that my doctors will notice that and my weight loss (I’m without a scale but there is no way that I haven’t lost any weight) and will send me to a higher level of care.
[Help] Oh good, more bs
/u/throwaway002300 [25F | 5’3 | CW 102 | BMI 18 | GW ???]
Created: Tue Dec 5 09:10:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hqnrg/oh_good_more_bs/
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Today, I was supposed to go home after work and use my new exercise bike. I was really excited about it because I’ve wanted one for a while and this one is perfect for me. But today has been an absolutely awful day at work, to the point where I wish I could just quit on the spot. Now all I want to do is stuff my face with disgusting food, throw it all up and sleep the rest of the afternoon.
[Tip] Muscle Milk protein bars spotted at Dollar Tree!
/u/squamouspuppies [5'9" | 25M]
Created: Tue Dec 5 08:37:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hqfhl/muscle_milk_protein_bars_spotted_at_dollar_tree/
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Guys. I found Muscle Milk bars at Dollar Tree for fifty cents. What the heck. I have no idea why they're so inexpensive (a pack of 12 is 20 dollars on Amazon), but it might be a good alternative for anyone who can't justify the high price point of Quest Bars or the like.
I've only been able to find the almond cookie flavor so far, but they're so good. They have 250 calories and 20 grams of protein, and I found them in the medicine aisle.
[Discussion] DAE use the shittyfoodporn sub as a hunger suppressant?
/u/theinvisiblecorset [5'2" | SW: 158 | CW: 140 | UGW: 105 | 22F]
Created: Tue Dec 5 08:16:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hqah2/dae_use_the_shittyfoodporn_sub_as_a_hunger/
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Or any other sub like it tbh. I’m already a picky eater, and even the stuff I would like on there ends up looking disgusting and unappetizing. I love thinspo and it helps a lot but shittyfoodporn feels like it gets right to the source of resisting the food.
[Discussion] December 5th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 5 07:32:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hq0oj/december_5th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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Who do you miss?
[Discussion] Awkward Public ED Moments
/u/effervxscxnt [5'4| 132 | 22 | -15lbs | F]
Created: Tue Dec 5 07:21:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hpycy/awkward_public_ed_moments/
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So, in a now-futile attempt to slightly up my intake (I'm aiming for around 800 cals), I decided to buy lunch on campus today. The thing is, the only sandwiches available were with white bread, which I pretty much refuse to eat.
I bought a sandwich anyway seeing as I was so intent on getting lunch (and also to not alarm my friends, who I try to eat 'normally' around). My ED brain took over almost immediately and my friends proceeded to watch in horror as I tore apart the sandwich, eating only the contents and throwing away the bread. They didn't understand why I did that, or why I wasted my money, nor could I explain it. I left immediately, it was soooo awkward.
Ugh. Does anyone else do weird things in public as a result of their ED? (It would be nice to know that I'm not alone, haha)
[Help] Best time to take laxatives?
/u/little-paws
Created: Tue Dec 5 06:49:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hprkb/best_time_to_take_laxatives/
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I've had a terrible week.
I got down to my lowest weight, and binged my way back up 3 pounds.
I've got one week until a big event that I wanted to look good for, and I'm panicking.
I'm fasting and restricting for the next week, but I also want to take a laxative just to get rid of everything (I hardly poop when I'm restricting).
Last time I took a laxative, my stomach was really bloated for a few days and it was gross. How many days before should I take them so that I have enough time for the bloating to go down?
I'm so vain but I just want to be at my goal weight for this event or I will feel shitty all night
[Help] how many calories should i eat to loose?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 5 05:42:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hpf03/how_many_calories_should_i_eat_to_loose/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Starbucks Drinks
/u/yungbrrrat
Created: Tue Dec 5 05:15:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hpaie/starbucks_drinks/
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Anyone else have "safe" drinks at Starbucks? What's your favourite order from them?
Personally I have a tall almond milk cappuccino and then i add stevia sweetener, 80 cals altogether.
[Discussion] DAE use cooking as a distraction from eating?
/u/Darcydoll127 [5'10 | 162.6lbs | 22.75| -64lbs| F]
Created: Tue Dec 5 05:12:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hpa2i/dae_use_cooking_as_a_distraction_from_eating/
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For some reason I have zero interest in eating while I cook, most likely because I get so focused. I love to cook and bake, and with it getting colder I feel like my southern instincts are kicking in and making me want to feed everyone. Yesterday I made 4 dozen tamales for my coworkers and Thursday I will be making cookies. Since I'm average, bordering on overweight, I feel like my coworkers don't notice I never eat anything I bring, but I'm sure when I am thinner they may begin to think I'm poisoning it or something. 😂
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday December 05, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Dec 5 05:10:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hp9qu/thinspo_tuesday_december_05_2017/
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Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! December 05, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Dec 5 05:10:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hp9q5/daily_food_diary_december_05_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 05, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] Why am I even bothering to recover?
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5'4" | 120 | 20.54| GW: 115 | NB]
Created: Tue Dec 5 04:27:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hp335/why_am_i_even_bothering_to_recover/
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I do burlesque, I say I do burlesque and by that I mean that I went for two weeks and got so overwhelmed and felt so fat in comparison to the skinny girls there that I physically couldn't bring myself to go. I'm supposed to go back today and I'm not sure I can, I know I'm going to see all the skinny pretty girls and feel like a fucking whale.
On top of this we found out that the door of the room next to my girlfriends in our uni house is unlocked and there's a mirror in there, my girlfriend physically jumped in front of it so couldn't look, I caught glimpses though and between the chinese, 'xmas' dinner, half a twirl and the leftover chinese, cheese toastie and toast I ate last night my thighs have ballooned and my stomach's expanded, I feel so fucking disgusting, I look fucking disgusting, my scale's shot up to 124 lbs and I'm so ashamed.
I'm supposed to be recovering but I feel like I'm just not doing well at it and I'm questioning now more and more why I'm bothering. Today there's a pizza stand outside one of the lecture halls and I'm so hungry and I want it so much but I need to lose the weight I've put on because I feel fucking disgusting, all I've done recently is eat.
[Discussion] What’s your experience with alternate day fasting?
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Tue Dec 5 04:16:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hp1ko/whats_your_experience_with_alternate_day_fasting/
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I’m thinking of trying ADF. I currently do one meal a day IF high restriction but debating ADF this week with 700 calorie feeding days and fasting Tuesday and Thursday.
[Rant/Rave] My ”friends” just called my mom! Wth?!
/u/kioskmongo
Created: Tue Dec 5 04:14:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hp14o/my_friends_just_called_my_mom_wth/
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So I just got a call from my mom who was very upset because she thought I had problems with drugs and an eating disorder. The eating disorder is right but what the hell, problems with drugs? I’ve done drugs at parties, yes, but that was a long time ago. I have now moved to a capitol city to study and while I try to manage school while trying to stay thin I have a substantially more interesting life with new friends and things happening every day, every weekend. I think my old friends are jealous of that, since we come from a very small town where nothing happens and they’ve told me on several occasions that I should come ”home”. I think that they calling my mom was to try and ruin what I have now so that I will go back there. But I’m an adult, are they stupid or what? They said they wanted to help me because I drunkenly admitted to an eating disorder, how the hell does it help me to upset my mom that way? I just want to isolate me from all of them. I don’t know what to do now. I feel so betrayed.
[Discussion] Post your weird snacks!
/u/desde-siempre [5'3" | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 26F]
Created: Tue Dec 5 04:08:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hp07v/post_your_weird_snacks/
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i just made perhaps one of the strangest snacks of my life and thought this would be a fun discussion.
so the other day my flatmates and i made sushi and we had some nori left over so i just took the nori, spread wasabi paste, sprinkled some vinegar on top and ate it. it was weird. can't say i recommend it 😂.
post your weird snacks here!
[Other] Headphones broke and cardio is unbearable so..
/u/goddamnroommate [🍑: goddamnroommate | 5'6" | 24.94 | GW 128]
Created: Tue Dec 5 03:29:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7houf1/headphones_broke_and_cardio_is_unbearable_so/
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I’m here trying to distract myself from how mind numbingly boring 1.5hrs of walking is. Thx for being here, you all are wonderful!
[Discussion] Has anyone actually lost any weight on 900 calories a week and no exercise?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 5 02:57:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hopsq/has_anyone_actually_lost_any_weight_on_900/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hopsq/has_anyone_actually_lost_any_weight_on_900/
[Discussion] how much does your s/o know about your eating disorder? what about eating disorders in general?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 5 02:40:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hong3/how_much_does_your_so_know_about_your_eating/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Got drunk, then b/p twice, weighed myself, then got driven at 2am to go pick up my car :(
/u/DeathmetalFiretruck [5'5 | CW 82.4 lbs | BMI 13.87 | HW 187 | 24F]
Created: Tue Dec 5 01:19:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hockg/got_drunk_then_bp_twice_weighed_myself_then_got/
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I’m exhausted, shaky, weak, and ashamed.
This is a new low for me. Makes me realize how sick I am. Lost 2lbs (water weight obv) but was terrified I would wake up suddenly massive. Now my throat hurts, my stomach is sore, and I’m beyond exhausted. I hate this disorder.
[Rant/Rave] Good and bad
/u/dino_bones72 [5’3” | 130lbs | 22 | 13lbs | Female ]
Created: Tue Dec 5 00:53:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ho95z/good_and_bad/
---
I’m restricting to 900/day, and I managed about 750 the last few days. I hit 890 yesterday and my calorie app went mental with fanfare and congratulations. YAY! YOU ATE ALL OF THE FOOD!! So yeah, that was fun.
HOWEVER, I got home and was getting changed when my girlfriend came home. She’s a ballerina (who manages to eat like a horse) and my weight rocketed recently because j needed some surgery and was just sedentary and in pain all the time. I’m always super anxious about my size but especially at the moment.
Anyway, I had taken my shirt off and I was wearing a white tshirt tucked in to high waisted jeans and she said “baby you look amazing! 😍”.
So fuck you, app. Don’t reward me for hitting my max calories. But even on a shit day my girl sees that I’m losing and loves how I look
[Tip] How I break my binge cycles
/u/Anorexibulemanemia [Height 5'7"| CW: Mistaken for Santa lbs | GW 100 | 20M]
Created: Tue Dec 5 00:16:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ho3pn/how_i_break_my_binge_cycles/
---
I was at a really good weight a month or so back and since then I started a cycle of binging on Taco Bell (one of my greatest weaknesses) like 5 nights a week. The way that I broke my seemingly eternal cycle was:
— go one full day without eating anything, get my Taco Bell a few hours before bed, wake up in the morning and do some cardio.
I repeated this until my body was used to having all of my calories at night before bed (it takes like a week for me). Then I whipped out my secret weapon, Zquil. I took the Zquil 15-30 minutes before I would normally hit up Binge Bell so I would fall alseep before my body had a chance to make me binge.
I would wake up the next morning and eat a good breakfast, have frequent snacks throughout the day that were healthy and below 400 cals each to keep the huge cravings at bay, then take some zquil at the usual time. Eventually I got into a rhythm of light snacking throughout the day (my go to snacks are avocado toast, Greek yogurt and berries, or a piece of toast with healthy peanut butter). Once you're in that rhythm, start decreasing the amount of snacks you eat and take twice as long eating each snack. This is how I break my binge cycles, and it is a seemingly very long process but I am so glad that I toughed it out once I'm back into the routine of high restriction. Sorry if this is sorta rambly, I just wish I could be reminded of this every time I fall into the inescapable torture of binge cycles. I hope this helps anyone that is stuck pushing the boulder up the hill, only to have it roll back down every time. Stay safe and drink lots of water
[Help] Canker sores and EDNOS/OSFED?
/u/ForSnowfall
Created: Mon Dec 4 23:57:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ho0u5/canker_sores_and_ednososfed/
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So I have OSFED (which includes purging), and although I'm naturally prone to canker sores, lately I've been getting them specifically in the gum area around the teeth farthest back in my mouth. Does anyone else experience this or something similar/know anything about it? Just curious
[Other] Throwing up a single orange slice made me feel better...
/u/ImMissBrightside
Created: Mon Dec 4 23:27:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hnw0p/throwing_up_a_single_orange_slice_made_me_feel/
---
Felt sick to my stomach still after going at it for 30 minutes. Finally admitted defeat and hopped in the shower, but I couldn't take it and made myself throw up a tiny orange slice. I feel way better now, even though I know how absurd this is. Hahaa...if I told myself two years ago what I've become I would think Ive gone insane...
[Discussion] Is anyone else here a legal adult and a virgin?
/u/gross9876 [-16 lb | nb]
Created: Mon Dec 4 22:25:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hnlcg/is_anyone_else_here_a_legal_adult_and_a_virgin/
---
Is anyone else obsessed with control, with collecting "nevers"?
I've never kissed. I've never dated. I've never had sex. I've never had drugs or drank alcohol. I'm a legal adult in the US.
I'm probably asexual, but the real reason I don't do sex stuff is because Isaac Newton and Nikola Tesla died virgins and I feel like being virgin until death is a sign of genius?
I'm just obsessed with restriction. Food is just another thing for me to abstain from...anyone relate?
I️m Hungry
/u/FlyVower [5'0" | CW 125.0lbs | 24.41 |-30 |FT(M)]
Created: Mon Dec 4 22:24:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hnl5r/im_hungry/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] interesting MV about bulimia, pretty triggering sounds + images
/u/pestaname [63in | CW:126lbs | GW:100lbs]
Created: Mon Dec 4 22:16:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hnjh0/interesting_mv_about_bulimia_pretty_triggering/
---
https://youtu.be/uKiU9otpIO0
[Rant/Rave] ~830 Cereal Binge :(
/u/coffeebean27
Created: Mon Dec 4 22:10:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hni90/830_cereal_binge/
---
Today I felt pretty good. I was at ~839 Calories and I ran. But then I got really hungry and had to screw everything up. I just finished my second bowl of cereal and a half bagel. 830 CALORIES!!!! HOW?!? I was just going to grab a couple Cheerios and then it turned into a binge...My TDEE is 1700 so should be fine but I feel like crap. I’m trying to stay under ~1000 since I’m so busy and I run.
Oh well time to get rid of this... I feel horrible going to bed with a full stomach.
[Rant/Rave] Fuck OA, I feel free to B/P
/u/SpaceWhale88
Created: Mon Dec 4 21:39:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hnch2/fuck_oa_i_feel_free_to_bp/
---
I'm never going to find a higher power as an atheist. My depression is way worse than my ED. I'm tipsy, eating baked cheetos, trying to fit one last drink in there so I can purge.
I've only been purging 1-2 X per week. I dont care that its bad for me. In fact I hope it kills me but I know I dont do it enough to hurt my psychically. I hope I die.
[Intro] I just want to be me again.
/u/xzxyashiexzx [5'2" | 145 lb | gw: 100 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 4 20:04:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hmsr2/i_just_want_to_be_me_again/
---
Hey guys, I've been here for a little while now. Trying to build up my courage and reach out. I even made a flair for the first time! I also kinda broke down and just need someone to vent to a little.
To give a little back story, I've gained A LOT of weight somewhat recently. Not in terms of actual body weight, but more like body measurements. In my later years of high school I would consider myself the most "me". My senior prom dress had a waist of 25 in. I'd usually hover right around 26/27 and the last time I was that thin I fit into my mom's old 24 in /high waisted shorts from the 90's. They were the cutest retro throwback and I'd wear them every chance I could get. Back then I was in ASB so every "dress up week" my public school got you bet I put in a 80's/90's day and strutted around in my oversized paris sport club shirt tucked into my itty bitty shorts. Not an inch of fat to be pinched.
Now a days I'm hovering closer to 30 in. I've gotten my first stretch marks this last year too. Right under and to the side of my armpits. They're bright red and have remained that way since they appeared one morning. And it just doesn't feel like "me". I'm not this person.I don't have an oz of cellulite on my body. I don't shop in the middle of the rack. I belong far left where the sizes have x's in them. Well, all except for my ridiculously sized bras but that's another struggle. The space I take up isn't me. It's my thighs. Or my stomach. But it's just not me.
I've started tracking my meals again. I've stopped feeling hungry again and wanted to see how much I was actually eating if I paid attention. Some days its 1,800, some days its less than half that. Some days I'll be chugging coffee and water all day in between my college classes and work and it'll be 9 pm before I remember to eat again and end up eating enough for 3 people.
I just miss how easy it all used to be back when I would get hungry and actually eat normal meals without feeling like I was cheating.
[Rant/Rave] Food Calories vs Alcohol Calories
/u/Toothflossie [5'9" | 96lbs | 14.2 bmi]
Created: Mon Dec 4 20:04:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hmsl2/food_calories_vs_alcohol_calories/
---
Disclaimer: I’m drunk
I find 330 calorie cookies and won’t so much as snuff them.
But then I find this alcoholic eggnog that’s 220/cals per 1/2cup and “oh that’s not bad, pour me three.”
?? (:
[Other] Just tried to make myself throw up for the first time...
/u/skydiver89 [skinny fat AF at 5'4" and 140 lbs]
Created: Mon Dec 4 19:59:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hmri9/just_tried_to_make_myself_throw_up_for_the_first/
---
and nothing came out. I ate a cookie and had a cup of water an hour ago. NOTHING CAME OUT. I just started to laugh. It's like my fingers can literally touch the back of my throat and it does nothing.
idk, I have no one I can tell this to irl, so I'll just leave this here.
[Help] Vomiting bile
/u/yungbrrrat
Created: Mon Dec 4 19:58:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hmrdx/vomiting_bile/
---
I got woken up at 2am for my body to be sick, then I was sick but it was just bile. I had nothing but juice yesterday and i also drunk a cider and smoked a joint. Is it worrying to be vomiting just bile?
[i cant flair on mobile @mods please understand x]
[Rant/Rave] My future employer sent me a care package aka a binge package today
/u/dipped_in_gold_ [5'3 | CW 114.8 | GW 105 | 22F]
Created: Mon Dec 4 19:57:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hmr5m/my_future_employer_sent_me_a_care_package_aka_a/
---
https://i.redd.it/uh79gl9zq0201.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I bought meth for the first time
/u/gross9876 [-16 lb | nb]
Created: Mon Dec 4 19:40:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hmnak/i_bought_meth_for_the_first_time/
---
Someone on this sub called ephedrine diet meth :p
I can't want to take it with coffee tomorrow morning! Is there anything I should know? Do I need to take it with food or water to minimize negative effects?
[Intro] Hello again
/u/Petite-Fee
Created: Mon Dec 4 19:38:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hmmwk/hello_again/
---
Hi guys!
I’m Petite-Fée! I’ve had a lot of Reddit accounts and have visited this sub a lot tbh. But I’ve always deleted them after awhile to try and be more productive or because of creepy messages. I’m back tho! Anyways, I’m a 14 year old girl from Texas. I speak English, French, Norwegian, and I’m learning Spanish.
I’ve struggled with disordered eating patterns since I was 11. Lately I’ve been in an awful binge cycle, and I gained 10 lbs and hit my HW. I feel absolutely disgusting and I’m trying to reach my GW by February.
My current stats are 5’6.5”, 117 lbs. My GW is 98. I’ll put it in my flair once I’m on a computer, but ours is broken rn so it’ll be awhile.
[Rant/Rave] I just stopped a binge!
/u/finnkat
Created: Mon Dec 4 19:36:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hmmjk/i_just_stopped_a_binge/
---
My mom is always buying me candy and cookies and other sweets and they're soooo tempting! She knows all my favorites and of course it always starts out with 'I'll only have 1' and turns into 'I've just eaten 5 days worth of calories in one sitting.' I saw my control slipping so I decided to get rid of everything. Since I'm a monster who will absolutely eat things out of the trash if my cravings are bad enough, I sprayed a bunch of cleaning spray and hydrogen peroxide on all of it before I threw it away. I feel horrible for wasting food (and money) but it's such a relief to have all those calories gone.
[Rant/Rave] 7 days until Christmas party and I'm not prepared
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Mon Dec 4 19:17:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hmict/7_days_until_christmas_party_and_im_not_prepared/
---
I bought this 2 piece outfit for our upcoming Christmas party and I ate lunch and I'm freaking...but this little voice is almost gleeful because if I go out there and look like a too stuffed sausage I'll finally get my act together.
I think I'm crazy 😦
When you convince someone to eat low cal veggies and they add high cal sauces 😐😠
/u/oFILo
Created: Mon Dec 4 19:09:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hmgh3/when_you_convince_someone_to_eat_low_cal_veggies/
---
https://i.redd.it/e53thrvdi0201.jpg
[Rant/Rave] My mom bought a Shop Rite lemon cake and it is haunting me. I feel like Sansa Stark
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 4 19:01:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hmenk/my_mom_bought_a_shop_rite_lemon_cake_and_it_is/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hmenk/my_mom_bought_a_shop_rite_lemon_cake_and_it_is/
Clavs are back and I couldn't be happier! Hard work pays off!
/u/megamorphaseez
Created: Mon Dec 4 18:51:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hmcgh/clavs_are_back_and_i_couldnt_be_happier_hard_work/
---
https://i.redd.it/96j99527f0201.jpg
[Discussion] DAE binge when you don't eat enough protein?
/u/SvelteDreams [5'5" | CW 121.4lbs | GW 103lbs | 21F]
Created: Mon Dec 4 18:43:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hmapa/dae_binge_when_you_dont_eat_enough_protein/
---
I notice that if I don't eat enough protein, I'm just not full. I just start craving everything, which leads to binging. Does anyone else have this happen too?
[Intro] Oh hi there
/u/fakey-mc-fake-fake
Created: Mon Dec 4 18:18:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hm55u/oh_hi_there/
---
For starters this isn’t my personal account hence the name. I’ve been lurking and just really wanted to post. I’ve been struggling with EDNOS and generally disordered eating almost my entire life, I’m 22. I’ve been in this somewhat recovered place for a couple years now, but let me get to the point.
I’m curious if anyone else does this. If there’s a documentary, movie, even YouTube video about EDs no matter how triggering it is I have to watch it. I want to watch it even if it means I’ll be anxious about it
[Rant/Rave] Broken scale, cold school, body dysmorphia, and tracking calories for school
/u/miracleunicat [5'6 | CW: 109 | GW: 85]
Created: Mon Dec 4 18:07:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hm2dk/broken_scale_cold_school_body_dysmorphia_and/
---
Here is all the shit that is wrong in my life right now:
1. My scale broke. I'm in high school, and can't get another scale until one of my parents tries to weigh themselves and notices that it is broken. Until then, I have no idea how much I weigh and I am about to go insane. My sister has a scale in her room, but I'm very rarely alone enough to be able to use it.
2. My school is fucking freezing. I'm not completely sure if it's because I've been restricting well or because the heating just sucks. Either way my toes are LITERALLY NUMB every dayI go to school.
3. I just do not know what I look like. I have one really skinny friend who says that I'm skinny a lot, but honestly every time i look at myself in the mirror I see myself like I looked at 120 lbs.
4. I have to track my calories for my health class at school. Obviously I add in a bunch of food, but just writing down that much food is so hard for me. Like it feels as though I really am eating it, and that people will judge me for eating so much.
At least I'm terrified of eating anything because if when I finally get the chance to step on a scale I've gained weight I might actually try to kill myself.
[Rant/Rave] I thought I found a food that I would be excited to eat
/u/throwawayimanxious
Created: Mon Dec 4 17:47:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hlxv6/i_thought_i_found_a_food_that_i_would_be_excited/
---
I've been struggling to find food that tastes good. Everything is either gross or tolerable. My dad used to make pizza biscuits (biscuits cut into quarters, dipped in marinara sauce, with cheese on top) when I was a kid, and I have a can of biscuits in the fridge that's about to go bad, so I decided to make them. I was so excited, I loved pizza biscuits as a kid! They smelled so good cooking. But then I plug in the calories for the recipe and it's like 500 calories per serving and I don't even want to eat them now.
[Other] Me during a binge
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 4 17:47:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hlxtv/me_during_a_binge/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWNb-PuRYGU
[Rant/Rave] WTF
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 | CW 145 | 24.1| -10lb| F]
Created: Mon Dec 4 17:26:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hlt1d/wtf/
---
Why do people feel the need to comment on my weight. I’m a fucking average size individual. I was peeling the cheese off my pizza today and some kid was like “are you trying to lose weight, you don’t need to.” It’s NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!
I hate free food
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 4 17:23:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hls5h/i_hate_free_food/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] when normal amounts of food feel like binges
/u/audreybelle_
Created: Mon Dec 4 17:13:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hlprd/when_normal_amounts_of_food_feel_like_binges/
---
today i ate around 1,800 calories. my tdee is 1,900 or so, so i can’t gain eating 1800 i’m sure most thin kids at my school eat this much or more (i’ve seen it, trust me,) but to me, it always feels like a binge. i ate a normal amount of food these past couple of days (around 1400 - 1800), yet it always feels like i’m binging, or doing something that’s not right. i don’t understand WHY i can’t just eat like a normal person and enjoy the 1800 cals i had today, and get back on track. i don’t understand why my body always feels like once i’m in “binge” mode, i just have to keep eating and eating. i’d give up so many things just to not have an eating disorder, and to
not be motivated by a number on the scale.
[Discussion] Do you guys plan what your going to eat that day or just log as you go and make sure you clock in at or under your calorie limit?
/u/th3Y3ti
Created: Mon Dec 4 17:13:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hlpr2/do_you_guys_plan_what_your_going_to_eat_that_day/
---
[Discussion] December 4th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 4 16:57:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hllxx/december_4th_2017_question_of_the_day/
---
Do you want to know how it ends?
(Oh jeez)
Craziest you've been recently.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 4 16:28:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hlf81/craziest_youve_been_recently/
---
[deleted]
[Help] Question About MyPlate App
/u/This-Is-My-Username_ [5'11" | CW: 140 | GW: 130 |F]
Created: Mon Dec 4 16:20:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hld1x/question_about_myplate_app/
---
I use the MyPlate app to track my calories, but it's being strange today.
I changed my weight on the app this morning, and suddenly my daily calorie limit shot up above 2000 kcal. I'm still allowed to set a custom calorie goal, but I no longer have the option to follow the other weight loss options on the app, only maintenance one. It's kind of frustrating, because it used to calculate for me how many pounds a week I could lose if I ate certain calorie amounts, and now I don't have that option.
I have had the app do strange things before, so I wasn't sure if it was malfunctioning or there's some sort of BMI related limit involved. I didn't expect anything like that though, because at 5'11" and 140lbs I have a "normal" BMI of 19.5.
Has anyone else had this issue?
[Rant/Rave] Mentally and physically drained
/u/kaliolis [5'4 | CW: 51.1 KG | GW: 40 KG |19.4 | WL: 18.9 KG | F]
Created: Mon Dec 4 16:12:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hlb7d/mentally_and_physically_drained/
---
Instead of typing out a whole 3000 paragraph about how shitty my life is, I’m going to summarise it haiku style + 7 words haha
Binge, purge, fast, restrict
Viciously on repeat
Slowly killing me
Mentally and physically
[Rant/Rave] Reality is fickle.
/u/invisigoth_
Created: Mon Dec 4 16:10:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hlanz/reality_is_fickle/
---
After at least a week of bingeing, I’ve hit that old familiar rock bottom depression. When I lose control like this, I tend to lose control over everything; I haven’t brushed my hair or worn proper clothes the entire time. I can feel the fat accumulating on my arms, my hips, my thighs, my belly. My whole body feels different, it feels like it takes up so much space, like everything is swollen and big and rubbing against itself, it feels foreign and wrong. I feel like a monster.
When it gets to this point it’s hard to pull myself out of it, my inner dialogue says things along the lines of “what’s the point?” and “I’ve already failed, I’m already ruined”. But life gets in the way of total surrender. I have to get dressed, I have to wash my hair, I have to leave the house, things have to be done. I have no choice but to pull myself together.
I just tried on my tightest pair of jeans to assess the damage (I haven’t used scales in months - I find them to be dangerous) expecting to be unable to pull them over my hips. But I could, quite easily. It’s the strangest feeling, to see and feel one thing, but have reality shove something else entirely into your face. When you’re sick, reality is fickle.
The silver lining of this harsh reality check? It’s spurred me to stop bingeing. There is a point. I haven’t failed. I’m not ruined. I’m not a monster. It’s going to be okay.
When should I take the EC Stack ?
/u/throwaway9755987
Created: Mon Dec 4 15:56:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hl7ek/when_should_i_take_the_ec_stack/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Really want to b/p
/u/Elephantsandlove [5'5 | 121 lbs| F]
Created: Mon Dec 4 15:55:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hl70p/really_want_to_bp/
---
I've been bulimic for four years with currently a one year break. I'm so miserable and lonely. I feel like the only validation i get (or used to get) was from my ED and now that it's been a while since I b/p (last time was a few weeks ago but it hasn't been frequent in like a year) I feel like I need to in order to feel better. I used to consider myself "recovered" but now I've realized the only times I get cravings are when I contemplate the worthlessness of my life, which seems to be getting more frequent..
[Discussion] Has anyone been able to lose weight without exercise?
/u/arandomnamebcimlazy
Created: Mon Dec 4 15:51:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hl66h/has_anyone_been_able_to_lose_weight_without/
---
I’ve been exercising for months now and while it has helped me to lose 83 pounds, I just need a break for awhile so I can focus on other things. I’m curious as to whether anyone else has been able to lose 20 pounds or more without exercising. I still have about 17 pounds to lose until I hit my second to last goal weight and right now, I can’t imagine any scenario in which exercise will be involved.
[Rant/Rave] about to binge on ~4000 calories worth of chocolate
/u/cantthinkofanamern
Created: Mon Dec 4 15:47:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hl56h/about_to_binge_on_4000_calories_worth_of_chocolate/
---
had a really shit day and i will either cut or eat. dont want to dissapoint anyone but myself so i guess i'm going to eat
not sure what will happen. i'll gain weight and get even fatter obviously. other than that, no idea
i really wish i had some alcohol instead of this chocolate right now. just want to skip this night.
can someone just convince me not to do it
[Rant/Rave] I am terrible at life, lol
/u/FeedMeDreams [5'5" | 66.1kg | 24.6 | F | bulimic]
Created: Mon Dec 4 15:33:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hl1ov/i_am_terrible_at_life_lol/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Mom's fickle habbits about eating never fail to start anixety
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 4 15:24:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hkywj/moms_fickle_habbits_about_eating_never_fail_to/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I think I have it beat
/u/ashirun97
Created: Mon Dec 4 14:41:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hknhe/i_think_i_have_it_beat/
---
And then I realize how fat I’ve gotten. And it calls to me in such an equally seductive and comforting voice.
“Come here, be thin. Everything will be okay if you’re thin, love.”
And I believe it once again.
[Rant/Rave] Pretty sure my boyfriend hates me
/u/counting-the-seconds
Created: Mon Dec 4 14:40:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hknav/pretty_sure_my_boyfriend_hates_me/
---
I generally restrict when I get overly stressed, depressed, or anxious...but I haven't been this bad in a while.
I know my boyfriend would love me more if I wasn't such a fucked up mess, but I can't fucking help it.
I'm not going to lie, one of the major reasons I started restricting again was because he refused to take me out with him, he doesn't want to have sex with me, and I've just assumed it was because I've gotten too fat and ugly for him. I don't want to be. I want to be good enough but I never fucking am and it's killing me inside.
He basically just texted me telling me to stop talking about my feelings to him. I literally have no one else I don't know what to do. I swear I'm never eating again.
[Help] forgot the name of the website that lets you type in the calories per day you're planning to eat and it will show how much you will weigh in x weeks
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 4 14:08:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hkex2/forgot_the_name_of_the_website_that_lets_you_type/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Male friend is into me and I can't even enjoy it.
/u/sogyosha
Created: Mon Dec 4 14:04:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hkdn3/male_friend_is_into_me_and_i_cant_even_enjoy_it/
---
A friend that I haven't seen in a while said he's been into me for a while and all I can think about is how embarrassed I am to look the way I do. He's a very sexual person and I know that my hang ups would really ruin the mood, and I don't even want to think about having sex after my previous sexual experiences. So that's a bummer!
But it is good motivation to lose as much weight as possible before I see him next, not that it'll ever be enough.
[Help] Anyone else ever f*ck up their #2 schedule with laxative use?
/u/then_she_said [5'7 | -58 | 27F | UGW: 130]
Created: Mon Dec 4 13:50:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hka45/anyone_else_ever_fck_up_their_2_schedule_with/
---
I've been off laxatives for 9 days now, and I've barely pooped at all. I'm eating around 1000 calories a day with 25+ g of fiber. I started a gentle "cleanse" yesterday, and even with that, I haven't gone. I'm definitely drinking enough water, I drink tea and coffee every morning, I exercise, but still no movement.
Has anyone else ever been through this? Do I just need to give my body time to re-adjust naturally? The small amounts that I have gone have just been hard and awful, basically constipation.
[Discussion] Food doesn't ever taste good anymore. It never tastes "worth it".
/u/ignorado [🍑: ignorado]
Created: Mon Dec 4 13:45:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hk8pp/food_doesnt_ever_taste_good_anymore_it_never/
---
Anyone else? I'll spend all fucking day daydreaming about food and then cave in at like 10/11pm on whatever it was I was fixated about. Whether it's pasta, cookies, bread, pancakes, a burger, shitty Chinese food, pizza... IT. NEVER. TASTES. GOOD.
I end up just being miserable over how I broke a fast with something that wasn't even worth it.
Sigh. Sorry I just wanted to complain because I've done this four nights in a row and literally wanna die from the lack of self control. I just want a normal relationship with food. This sucks
[Rant/Rave] RECOVERY WEIGHT GAIN
/u/hardyzafon [5'4 | LW: 88 | CW:120| GW:100]
Created: Mon Dec 4 13:37:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hk6w8/recovery_weight_gain/
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Hey! I'm posting here because I feel like you guys might be able to understand (while not neccessarily condomning it) how much I am affected by this. I've 'recovered' from anorexia half forced by how much it was affecting my parents and I've done it mainly through binge eating which felt as disordered as ever. I've put on over 30 lbs and am now almost 120 lbs at 5'3/5'4. I feel obese, uncomfortable all the time, my body rubs together, I don't feel I can move properly, I don't recognise myself, mostly I feel dirty and sluggish, plus all the progress is lost. And I've been hibernating and spending my time reading on my bed, missing classes and hiding away, digging my own depression hole. I know that feeling this way will only get me fatter. Even though I know that I'm more likely to lose if I accept myself as I am now, keep very, very busy and get back on track; it's like I won't allow myself. I want to do the things I love and I logically know I am free to do them even if fat, but I won't allow myself. Now that I've gotten fat, is like I must be unhappy and a piece of shit in every aspect (even when I don't want to) I am spending my time doing boring things I hate and this has lasted quite long. It's like, if I catch myself doing something I like or something that's good for me, I won't let myself and I'll tell myself: don't forget you're fat and ugly now! And then I'll get down again. I know, knowing me, my best bet is to restrict hard for a while and as soon as I start seeing a loss, I'll feel better and momentum will work its magic. But I hate being at this place, I am so disgusted at myself. I hate saying this but I actually do think I was better of before, this is what happens when people around you just put so much pressure on you gaining the weight and dgaf about your mental health. Just venting really. How do I deal? Anyone been here? It's even worse cause I don't wanna get on the ED train again in reality. I am tired. I am conflicted because I wanna have a healthy, happy life free from ED but at the same time I hate feeling this fat so much that I can't concentrate on anything else at all. If they would have just let me maintain my low weight and get on with my life I think I would have been much happier, it's what I would have done if on my own, I know they didn't put the food in my mouth but I was just so tired of all the lies etc
[Other] Chocolate Mono
/u/kvikerdragen [5'6.5" | 22F | CW 113.8 | GW 111 | HW 182]
Created: Mon Dec 4 12:59:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hjwrj/chocolate_mono/
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I saw a post yesterday that mentioned the chocolate mono diet, and as a result I spent all day reading about it because that's just how I am lol.
As a result, I couldn't stop thinking about it, and decided to try it today and tomorrow and maybe Wednesday. Because yolo. Chocolate.
So, I don't have much to say except I'll stay posted. Wish me luck!
Also, for the record, breaking a 45hour fast with chocolate is heavenly.
Update 1: It's 4:00pm my time, and I went pretty aggressively on eating. That's likely the fault of the fasting, I think, plus the excitement for chocolate. My stomach is unhappy, but is settling down. I, personally, have a tendency to keep reaching for food if it's open and sitting in front of me at my desk, which is not really great at the moment. It's just weird to, like, have to make myself eat chocolate "meals" instead of how I normally eat snacks like that where it's just sort of mindless over time (If that makes any sense to you all). Maybe it would be best to make "meals" out of, for example, the ice cream and pudding and stuff and allow myself to snack on M&Ms or something. This whole concept is foreign and weird.
As well, while I can definitely see myself continuing to be interested in mono diets in the future, and while I certainly will continue this one through at least tomorrow and probably Wednesday (Because I bought that much chocolate and don't want it sitting around / don't want to waste it unless this experiment goes horribly wrong), I think in the future I would prefer to do some other food. I love chocolate in small amounts, but if I have to eat just one thing the sugar is just overwhelming. I'm not currently sure the extent to which one could do like mono popcorn or something (I think I saw it on the master list on MPA but I'd have to check again) but if one could manage semi-salty or even savory foods I would get along with that a lot better.
Anyway, regarding the chocolate, the main thing I've noticed is that I am way more thirsty than I normally am. I have my gallon pitcher beside me, which I normally don't quite manage to finish in a full day, and it's almost gone at 4:00pm already. As a result (TMI oops) I've had to pee several more times today than usual, and, as well, had a great, easy BM (Which, again TMI, is not unheard of but not normal for me + I haven't gone in nearly a week). My assumption there is my body's done with the chocolate already and is just getting rid of it as fast as it can. Not 100% sure though.
Update 2: It's 7:00am my time, day 2. A lot of very helpful people have given input, and consideration of everything has led me to draw some conclusions (And ultimately, mistakes that I've made). The variety was definitely too much, and was in my case likely more a result of binge behavior. This would logically work a lot better if one was more strict and planned about the whole thing.
Also, (Again, in my case) I probably won't do chocolate again. The temptation to overeat and binge (Even on just chocolate and not technically breaking rules) is just so high for me. It's really not a safe food for me. Maybe dark chocolate exclusively would be better since I'm not quite as fond of it.
Anyway, as far as results go, I ate somewhere around 2500calories of chocolate yesterday, mixed among all the variety I bought. I also drank close to 4 liters of water, which is significantly more than normal for me. I started yesterday, fasted, at a weight of around 116.6, went to bed at around 116.2, woke up around 115.2.
My plan, had I not done the mono yesterday was to fast. If my willpower had held up (And I cooked enchiladas last night and almost broke down and ate them even sick on chocolate so it may very well not have, had I been fasting still) I expected to be closer to 114 this morning, so in my case this experiment was underwhelming but expected. We'll blame the variety and the binge behavior this time.
Ultimately, it's worth noting that despite less-than-perfect results, several positive things did happen, even though it could be argued that I didn't do the fast right:
1. I still lost weight, even if less than I wanted. One could argue that if nothing else, this was a free binge. I literally ate chocolate until I was nauseous, and wasn't punished for it. I think that if this becomes a mentality to excuse using mono diets as a binge method it would lead to awful behavior and bad results, but it's a tool to keep in my arsenal.
2. By doing this experience, I didn't binge (On other foods, at least). I, personally, really struggle to break fasts longer than a day or so without leading to binges within a couple days. While I did wake up craving ice cream, I have no desire to raid the pantry or refrigerator otherwise. This alone is a huge win for me.
3. I learned a fair bit about myself, and connected with the community. Okay, fair, this one is a little sappy and all, but it's always nice to create discourse and hear from all of you. Everyone putting their heads together to analyze things is something I always like to see, and if it's something I'm passionate about all the better. If I have to be a guinea pig for tests and stuff like this then that's okay with me. Barring the nausea yesterday, keeping up with this thread has been a very enjoyable way to spend my thoughts and energy.
So, in closing, I made some mistakes, learned some stuff, wasn't punished, and had a good time overall. I'm going to continue the diet today (Without expecting anything spectacular on the second day or anything) so I don't feel so bad about all the chocolate I bought, then give away the rest of what I have if I can. After today I'll probably restrict carefully on Wednesday and Thursday to prepare for what will be a likely very hard week and a half coming up (I'm moving across the country and spending a week with my older brother, who knows about my eating disorder but not how bad it is and hasn't ever lived with me since it got bad. I'm also going vegetarian since he is, and I'll be living with him / I've wanted an excuse for a while. There will be a post seeking advice for all of this later in the week, so if that sounds interesting to you or you just want to keep up with my largely boring life, look out for that).
Thanks everyone for all the input. I'll still check this of course in case anyone has closing thoughts or anything, but the post is dying anyway lol so goodbye for now :P
[Discussion] Silly, but this is how I see my binge episodes
/u/vondahl [5’6 | cw: 115 | gw: 105 | 25F]
Created: Mon Dec 4 12:51:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hjupw/silly_but_this_is_how_i_see_my_binge_episodes/
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I find that binging feels like addictive behavior. If I feel the same mindless compulsion to binge as I do when I try to quit smoking, there has to be some similarities in my brain.
Anyway, this mental image is helping me get a better grasp. I probably sound crazy so try not to judge me!
In the movie Finding Nemo, there’s a shark named Bruce. He leads a group similar to AA where he and a couple other sharks have sworn off eating fish and essentially go against their nature. At one point in the movie, he catches a whiff of blood in the water. His pupils dilate completely and he goes from being Bruce the shark, to just a mindless shark.
When I binge, I feel like I go from being Me, to being a mindless binge monster addict. I lose control at the sight of pasta, like how Bruce loses it when he sees blood haha.
Seeing binges as animalistic behavior is helping me overcome the urges. Realizing that *I* don’t want to do something, that the binge monster ‘shark’ wants it, helps me rationalize and slow down and remember that I’m ultimately in control. I’m not perfect but this goofy image of Bruce is helping me out slowly but surely! Binges are farther and fewer between.
[Help] question about weight and measurements? how much weight do you have to lose to lose inches?
/u/mazzy___ [5'9" | 150 | 21.75 | GW: 120 | UGW: 110]
Created: Mon Dec 4 12:41:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hjs39/question_about_weight_and_measurements_how_much/
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Hi, I'm new and this is my first post.
I'm curious, do you have any idea how much weight you have to lose or gain to notice a change in your measurements? Obviously it depends on the person as we're all built differently. I don't have a scale right now and I think I'd rather not buy one because I'd rather weigh myself infrequently. I have a tendency to obsess over the number and I think it's better to just not own a scale. I took measurements of myself last night and I was going to start measuring every two weeks or so (bust, waist, hips, and thighs)
Does anyone else do this?
Thanks for any help.
[Rant/Rave] :) This :) binge :) restrict :) cycle :) is :) never :) ending :)
/u/pedaling-backwards [5’2 | idfk | Merry Restrictmas 🎅🏻🎄❄️✨]
Created: Mon Dec 4 12:36:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hjqud/this_binge_restrict_cycle_is_never_ending/
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In September of 2016 I fell into a HARD binge/restrict phase, and went from 105 ---> 122 by January.
March 2017 I started successfully restricting again and got back down to 105, and maintained that for a while until I got to my LW of 97 in August and haven't. stopped. binging. since.
I'm not sure what I weigh anymore, 109 at least. I just keep doing the same bullshit that I did this time last year, I restrict really well for 3-4 days, and then I got triggered by something and just binge and lose all of my progress. Because I'm able to restrict some days, my actual weight gain has been slow, but it's continuing to creep up week after week. Also my binges are increasing in calories as time goes on, so my weight gain is starting to become more rapid now.
I can't keep gaining, I was so lucky to get out of that binge phase last year and I'm worried I won't be able to stop it this time. I tend to restrict better in the Spring/Summer, but I don't want to wait it out these next couple months in HOPES that I'll somehow be able to restrict again once the warm weather hits.
I've tried fasting, eating at maintenance, not counting calories, counting calories, restricting high, restricting low, low-carb, high-carb, high-protein, 3 different types of meds. NOTHING IS WORKING.
I just want to be at my LW again. :(
[Goal] Goal Weight #1 is so close I can taste it.
/u/plantbasedpumpkin
Created: Mon Dec 4 12:15:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hjl6r/goal_weight_1_is_so_close_i_can_taste_it/
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Sorry I don't have any flair, I'm super lazy. I started restricting in July. At 297 pounds. TWO HUNDRED NINETY SEVEN. After 5 months, give or take a few days - 200-800 calories a day, no binges, and a whole lot of napping through meals... IM 203 POUNDS. SO CLOSE TO MY FIRST GOAL OF BREAKING INTO THE 100'S!!!! ITS SO CLOSE I CAN TASTE IT!!! i'm literally so happy guys, I never would've thought this was possible a year ago.
[Discussion] Tunic (Song for Karen) by Sonic Youth
/u/allkindsofnewyou [5'2 | 95 | BMI 17 | F ]
Created: Mon Dec 4 12:04:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hji1w/tunic_song_for_karen_by_sonic_youth/
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[removed]
[Intro] This is going to be my new home
/u/SinfulCinnamon
Created: Mon Dec 4 11:56:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hjg2h/this_is_going_to_be_my_new_home/
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SO HIIIIII. I posted last night but I want to officially say hello to all of you beautiful people. I've been struggling hard lately trying to convince myself I'm normal. But let's be real... something is happening much deeper if I frequent this sub and constantly criticize myself for every little thing. So fuck it. I'm joining. Hoping to gain some motivation to change my gross ways and crossing my fingers it's easy to break away when it's time. Lol.
[Other] Every ED movie ever
/u/yungbrrrat
Created: Mon Dec 4 11:38:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hjbce/every_ed_movie_ever/
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[This tumblr post is fantastic](https://skinnyloverosemary.tumblr.com/post/168189432451/badatlxve-skinsandbonesx-beenge)
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Anna McAnna is a dancer. She’s thin, has friends and love interests.
Dad: LOL DON’T EAT THAT IT HAS CALORIES!!! U HAVE A DANCE SHOW TOMORROW HAHA JK I LOVE U BBY
Anna goes on pro anna websites and makes dangerous internet friends. “I will only lose 5 pounds” says anna. She makes a thinspo collage on her wall/diary to keep motivated
Anna is losing weight. Her mom is concerned
Mom: um sweetie you are losing weight??? That’s not good you are beautiful. I love u bae
Anna is angry her mom doesn’t understand. She’s an anorexic™ now. No one can stop her. She goes batshit crazy screaming at everyone that offers her food
Anna’s mom finds out about her online activities. She’s worried and forces Anna to eat a meal. Anna does it bitterly and then purges perfectly no getting trained period in which your first 90 attempts you just spit some water
Anna is now purging. All her friends got tired of her bullshit and left her. Her love interest is like “lmao dude u 2 skinny u ok?????? im worried”
Anna faints and goes to the hospital
Docotr: so um ur daughter is anorexic she may die???????? It’s bad????
Anna: wow taht was v dangerois I guess I’m cured now
Anna eats happily with her family, now comletely ED free
[Discussion] What's your motivation?
/u/321Model [5'4| CW: 190 | GW: 150 | 30's/F]
Created: Mon Dec 4 11:36:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hjaye/whats_your_motivation/
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I was watching an interview with a world class tennis player the other day. The interviewer commented on how dedicated they are and that they’re hustling hard. The interviewer then asked the player what their goal is. The player said to win such-n-such competition. I thought to myself, “What’s my goal? Am I working as hard as this player?”
I feel like not doing anything. All I think about is food and body comparison. I also feel like a bad partner because I don’t even pay attention to them very much. I don’t even recall what aspirations I had before this ED grabbed hold. I’m not even working as hard at losing weight as this player is at tennis. So lame.
What are your motivations and aspirations?
[Help] Please help me not binge
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 | CW 145 | 24.1| -10lb| F]
Created: Mon Dec 4 10:56:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hj078/please_help_me_not_binge/
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It’s lunch time and my job just brought in my favorite mexican food, trays of beans rice guacamole and chips and salsa idk what to do!! I swore I was going to only eat a diet of Whole Foods and I really don’t want to binge. But I can smell it all the way at my desk. I hate it here it’s like a living hell. I wish I could get skinny while still indulging but I know that’s not how it works.
Update- I pushed through grabbed some chips and salsa but still haven’t eaten them. Been sipping la croix the pst hour to curb the urges.
Update 2- I ate half the chips and salsa which equaled to under 300. No dinner for me I guess :/ I’m pissed.
[Discussion] Boyfriend is losing a ton of weight, I think he's restricting and it's triggering me
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Mon Dec 4 10:54:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hizrz/boyfriend_is_losing_a_ton_of_weight_i_think_hes/
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When I met my boyfriend he was pretty overweight. One day he hopped on my scale and decided to lose weight. He's lost a significant amount in a very short time and I'm so conflicted about it.
On the one hand, I've wanted him to be in better shape since we started dating and I think he looks amazing and am proud of his accomplishment. But on the other hand, he's doing so fucking well it makes me feel like an enormous inflating failure by comparison. He tells me every time he's lost a pound and congratulate him but inside I'm panicking that the scale has only gone up for me since I started this binge cycle. I know he must be judging my lack of restraint, I do exactly the same thing when I'm losing weight.
To make things worse, I'm fairly sure he's restricting to lose this weight. He regularly skips meals and has said in passing that he has been way below calories sometimes. He also told me he lost a ton of weight when he was younger by starving himself.
Part of the reason I gained this weight in the first place was because I was terrified of him knowing I had an ED so I forced myself to eat normal meals, which spun out of control into bingeing. But if he can skip meals, so can I. 500 cals and below this week. I'm not gonna be the fucking fat girlfriend.
How have you dealt with an SO's weight loss? Should I tell him it's triggering me? I want him to be able to share his success with me.
[Tip] Gingerbread Green Tea
/u/dino_bones72 [5’3” | 130lbs | 22 | 13lbs | Female ]
Created: Mon Dec 4 10:53:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hized/gingerbread_green_tea/
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Since Christmas is all about giving, I give to you.........TWININGS GINGERBREAD GREEN TEA.
I usually HATE green tea. This is awesome. It tastes like eating a gingerbread man, which helps with the hunger as well.
1kcal per 100ml
0.2g carbs
Everything else is trace amounts
Enjoy!
[Discussion] How do you get yourself to stop eating junk food?
/u/takayl
Created: Mon Dec 4 10:45:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hix6y/how_do_you_get_yourself_to_stop_eating_junk_food/
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I used to be a health nut and only ate salads and chicken (this kind of propelled me into my ED but w/e lmao) but I was super conscious about what I put into my body. Now I just restrict and then binge on SHIT - a box of donuts, a whole pizza, shitty candy. I never even had a taste for junk food before :( Have any of y’all been successful with getting rid of your taste for junk (esp sweets) or read any really convincing nutrition stuff that got you to care more about eating healthy?
Mods plz flake on mobile
[Rant/Rave] Food presents
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 4 10:44:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hiwyn/food_presents/
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My grandmother just sent me a giant box of chocolates for my birthday and I'm so sad looking at them because I know how excited she was and how much she thought I would love them, but I can't even bring myself to open the box.
Edit: and my daily weigh in is a whopping 4 pounds (????) higher than I was four days ago because why would the universe give me a break today?
[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend and I had a fight...
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | dont ask | dont tell | idfk lbs | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Mon Dec 4 10:30:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hisne/boyfriend_and_i_had_a_fight/
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Time to indulge my old habits again because unhealthy coping is the only way I know how to live.
Lunch? No thanks I'll take laying in bed crying instead thank you.
[Help] I've lost 40 pounds but I look exactly the same. Am I not losing fat?
/u/im-stressed-af-fam [5'3 | UGW: 108 | CW: 155 | -40]
Created: Mon Dec 4 10:10:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hioci/ive_lost_40_pounds_but_i_look_exactly_the_same_am/
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I hit 155 lb today, which officially marks 40 pounds lost since I started at 195. But the thing is I look identical to how I looked when I was at my starting weight. Serious question, could it be that I lost 40 pounds of water weight or muscle, or a combo of both? I think I'm losing everything but fat and it's driving me insane. I can't believe I'm in the 150's and I still look this fat. A lot of people are at my weight and height and look normal/thin. I think I will reach my goal weight of 108 and still look chubby AT BEST
[Other] Ashamed of my thoughts
/u/unpollutedfantasy [🥒]
Created: Mon Dec 4 09:45:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hiino/ashamed_of_my_thoughts/
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So I was watching Stranger Things and I’m thinking to myself I wish was as thin as Will, a fucking tiny 12 year old boy.
Now I’m watching Supersize v Superskinny kids and I’m fucking drooling over an underweight 13 year old girl.
It is fucking sick & creepy af
And I hate myself for thinking this way
[Rant/Rave] Roommate has ED?
/u/321Model [5'4| CW: 190 | GW: 150 | 30's/F]
Created: Mon Dec 4 09:28:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hiegm/roommate_has_ed/
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My new roommate moved in a couple of months ago with my best friend and I.
She eats, at least in front of us, once or twice a day. And the meals she does eat around us are small, single servings.
Even though she doesn’t eat a lot, she shops for food EVERY DAY. My bff and I look at each when she comes home with bags of food like "Really?". I wouldn’t think it was weird if she actually ate the food, but she often lets her food or bulk meals she prepares in the fridge go to waste. Also, she buys chocolates like snickers, eats half and leaves the other half in the fridge. There are like 3 chocolate bars in the fridge that have been there since mid-November.
Is this normal? Or am I just so into my ED that I’m projecting it on her. I’d really like to know what you all think.
[Rant/Rave] My husband brought me a cinnabon
/u/shrinktoavoid [F 5'7|111.2]
Created: Mon Dec 4 09:06:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hi927/my_husband_brought_me_a_cinnabon/
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And all 880 calories of it are just sitting there staring at me.
I could eat half of it and fit it into my calorie goal for the day, but I just know that once I take a bite the floodgates will open and I'll binge today.
How do normal people just eat these and then continue about their day? Not only do they eat them, but they actually ENJOY the experience.
I'm anxious even just looking at it. And I know that I'm only going to hate myself while eating it and then continue to hate myself for the rest of the day...
I don't even want to eat it. I'd rather spend my calories on way better things. But now that it's here, I feel like I HAVE to eat it.
Fuck. Why can't I just be normal?
Update: I delayed dealing with it for as long as possible, it was literally like the only thing on my mind for over an hour. I looked at it, picked it up, smelled it, really let absorbed like every single detail about it, and then I threw it away because it's fucking ridiculous to let my life be ruled by a cinnabon.
[Help] help :'(
/u/yaogauiasaurus
Created: Mon Dec 4 09:00:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hi7eu/help/
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Three weeks of 300-600 calories a day... got down to 136. Then suddenly my scale says 140 and is stuck there.
Wtf? I'm still eating 300ish calories a day. How am I not only NOT losing, but fucking gaining?
Fuckin kill me. Plz
P.s I dunno how to flair. Mobile.
[Rant/Rave] What else is missing??
/u/hpney
Created: Mon Dec 4 08:51:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hi59o/what_else_is_missing/
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I feel so stupid. But I told someone I liked him, and his response was “I enjoy spending time with you”, and I still slept with him and talk to him daily.
We talked for like an hour last night, right after I’d already talked about some past traumas with my sister, and he called me articulate and smart and beautiful and interesting and I can’t think but the only reason he doesn’t /like/ me is because I’m fat... What else could it be? Like, if he thinks all these things about me, and we have good chemistry, then why doesn’t he like me? I’m not thin enough to look good next to him. He’s a little shorter than me so I’m a giant in every aspect. I hate being so much bigger than him. I know he hates it too. I guess it’s just easier to continue seeing someone even if you aren’t attracted to them. :( I don’t know. I only slept for three hours last night because I cried and watched Emilia Farts videos, and now I have to go to work with bloodshot eyes.
[Discussion] Do you judge other people’s bodies as harshly as you judge your own?
/u/igby23
Created: Mon Dec 4 08:44:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hi3nt/do_you_judge_other_peoples_bodies_as_harshly_as/
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Lately I feel like my ED brain has gotten meaner and meaner and I hate these intrusive thoughts. The other day a friend of mine who happens to have gained a lot of weight over the past few years posted a picture of her manicure on social media and the shape of her hand and how not bony it was disgusted me and I feel this mean thought just burning and I hate it. To me this is the real mental burden of this is carrying this loathing around everywhere. Does anyone else struggle with this?
[Help] TDEE constantly lowering - what do about eating in front of boyfriend? I don't have a choice not to.
/u/fuckin_ghosts [5'0'' | CW: 140.2 | BMI 27.3 | GW: 105 | HW: 206 | 26 F]
Created: Mon Dec 4 08:19:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hhxuo/tdee_constantly_lowering_what_do_about_eating_in/
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I checked my TDEE with my current weight (140 lbs at 5'0'') and it's now about 200 calories lower than it was when I started restricting about 2 months ago. The average TDEE from all of the calculators was about 1550. This means that to continue losing a pound a week I have to eat less than 1050 a day... I came in under 900 the past 2 days but I'm panicking... I still have 35 pounds to lose to get to my GW and my boyfriend already makes comments about me not eating enough. We live together, it's not like I can just not eat because it leads to arguments or him getting worried and I'm not ready to admit anything right now, I already struggle with bipolar disorder and I don't want to just tack something else on and be like 'GUESS HOW MANY PROBLEMS I HAVE THAT ARE NOW YOUR PROBLEMS'. I'm still eating over 800 calories every day but I know as I lose my TDEE is going to get lower and lower.
Should I just start exercising more so that my TDEE stays above 1500? Right now I do a full body workout including about 250 cals of cardio (500 on the gym machines, I half it because I don't believe it) about 3 times a week. MFP is still set to 1200 even with my current weight and I have been losing an average of more like 2 or 3 pounds a week eating between 1050 and 1200, but now I'm freaked out.
What do you guys do having really low TDEEs but needing to eat in front of your SOs? Just intermittent fast until you have to eat in front of them?
Edit: I should add I have BED and restrictive habits, I was officially diagnosed with EDNOS the first time my ED was being treated because I go through phases of binging and purging, restricting, just binging, etc. I've never posted here before.
[Rant/Rave] DAE lose weight as a way of compensating for their ugliness
/u/lavenderbruises [5'9"|CW 109| GW 100| BMI 15.87| 19F]
Created: Mon Dec 4 08:03:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hhud2/dae_lose_weight_as_a_way_of_compensating_for/
---
Super hard to explain. But I’ve never been pretty and obviously I can’t control that, but there is one thing I can control and thats my weight.
Thinness is my only feature thats considered “conventionally attractive” and i dont know what I will do if I lose it. But then again people say that my low weight makes me look ugly and disgusting so idek what to think.
Anyways, despite that, Im going to keep losing because thats the only way I can be happy with the way I look. Every pound I lose makes me feel that much prettier (although its not necessarily the case).
[Intro] an intro/mini rave
/u/grape_fruits [5'3" | 105 | 19F]
Created: Mon Dec 4 08:02:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hhtzj/an_intromini_rave/
---
hi! i'm a long time lurker, first time poster, etc etc. lately i've found myself reading so many posts, so i've finally pulled the trigger on actually posting.
yesterday i was insanely hungover and spent the whole day recovering. the sickest thing was that when i puked, all i could think about was that too much time had passed since i drank so i probably absorbed the calories. on the bright side, i ate like 10 crackers the whole day. and now i'm at 105 lbs, nearly underweight according to the old bmi. when i first started restricting, i told myself that 105 was my goal because it was my high school weight and is what's officially on my driver's license. but now i know it isn't enough. i want 101, so i can be underweight under the new bmi. and then i want 97 and then 95, because even when i didn't have disordered thoughts i had always wanted to be double digits. when i go back home for the holidays, i never want to ever be asked if i gained weight at school again. i have this one pair of pacsun shorts that are 00 (i used to have 00 jeans from pacsun that fit) but they run small and i won't stop until they fit and i look hot.
on the bright side, this morning when i woke up, my boyfriend started running his fingers along my bony hips and ribs. and as i got dressed, i think (hope) my thigh gap is getting bigger.
[Thinspo] [Thinspo] Wow
/u/sicksadcook [162| 48.9 |19.03 | GW47 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 4 07:53:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hhs0e/thinspo_wow/
---
https://i.redd.it/7ezpg6pr5x101.png
[Discussion] DAE drink a crap ton of hot drinks just to keep your hands warm?
/u/desde-siempre [5'3" | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 26F]
Created: Mon Dec 4 07:47:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hhqtw/dae_drink_a_crap_ton_of_hot_drinks_just_to_keep/
---
i write as i clutch my fifth cup of hot tea for dear life
[Thinspo] Started posting/sharing thinspo on tumblr, suddenly weird blogs following me... (maybe nsfw)
/u/Vitaneon
Created: Mon Dec 4 07:34:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hho8o/started_postingsharing_thinspo_on_tumblr_suddenly/
---
I started posting/reblogging thinspo and general diet talk/advice on my tumblr, and ever since, I get at least one porn blog dedicated to "bbws" following me every day. Has this happened to anyone else? Why are they doing this? How can I make it stop? They're like hydras, I block one and several more pop up!
Also looking for more thinspo blogs to follow, please share some <3
[Discussion] terrified
/u/fortunate-foolx
Created: Mon Dec 4 06:30:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hhb5h/terrified/
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terrified to get out of bed because i’m going out to eat tonight and i don’t know where. what the fuck is wrong with me.
[Rant/Rave] Moving in with my boyfriend and I’m low key EXCITED
/u/blaep
Created: Mon Dec 4 05:24:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hgzg1/moving_in_with_my_boyfriend_and_im_low_key_excited/
---
He works day shifts, our commute is going to be shorter, and I can hoard low calorie food in small portions in the fridge and freezer! No more binging on food from the family fridge just because it exists!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! December 04, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Dec 4 05:14:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hgxts/weekly_stats_update_december_04_2017/
---
This is the weekly status thread for December 04, 2017.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! December 04, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Dec 4 05:14:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hgxsu/daily_food_diary_december_04_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 04, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] Saw mini marshmallows in the fridge, so guess what I wanna binge on?
/u/cheezuzChrist89
Created: Mon Dec 4 02:03:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hg6u9/saw_mini_marshmallows_in_the_fridge_so_guess_what/
---
Hey, first time posting here. Was debating whether or not to do so because of the subject matter, but fuck it.
So I worked closing shift tonight, and I thought “Well, today was lame AF, I’m gonna have a glass of wine and some Skinnypop mini popcorn cakes for dinner”. Btw, Skinnypop popcorn products are tasty, filling, and low-cal for the volume. Highly recommend. Also, I’m a big fan of spicy stuff, so I had some hot sauce with my mini popcorn cakes. Valentina hot sauce has zero calories per serving.
It’s 1 am, and I saw those damn marshmallows after putting the vino away, and I’m low key contemplating having some. Ugh, haaaalpppp!!!
[Rant/Rave] I’m not projecting your projecting
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 4 01:28:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hg2ce/im_not_projecting_your_projecting/
---
[deleted]
Global Body Contouring Market Induced by the Growing Trend of ‘Quick-fix’ in Western Regions
/u/adarshsinha668
Created: Mon Dec 4 01:25:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hg20o/global_body_contouring_market_induced_by_the/
---
http://www.imarcgroup.com/body-contouring-market
[Rant/Rave] I can't stop being a fuck up.
/u/gross9876 [-16 lb | nb]
Created: Mon Dec 4 00:00:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hfq22/i_cant_stop_being_a_fuck_up/
---
Yesterday I had a pita bread with butter before bed but forgot to purge. Damn it!
Today I ate 400 calories to make up for yesterday but *then* I binged on a pita bread slathered with butter at 11:53 PM. (So close I know.)
I tried to purge but I waited too long and barely anything came up. I've eaten over 500 two days in a row...
there's no way I'm going to lose six pounds this week like I did last week 😭😭😡
[Help] How long does it take to see weight gain?
/u/greciamarzz
Created: Sun Dec 3 23:43:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hfnfw/how_long_does_it_take_to_see_weight_gain/
---
Say I binged HARD one weekend but the next morning my weight hasn't gone up. Am I in the clear or still in danger of it going up over the next few days?
How long does it take to see weight gain?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 3 23:41:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hfn56/how_long_does_it_take_to_see_weight_gain/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Trying to trigger myself I guess
/u/ohnoshemelted
Created: Sun Dec 3 23:25:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hfkoo/trying_to_trigger_myself_i_guess/
---
I’ve been trying to recover from bulimia for a while now and I’ve been pretty successful... but I really miss being anorexic as terrible as that is. I left my church lately and haven’t had much support from my family. They treat me like an outsider all of a sudden even though I’m the same person. The cognitive dissonance is too much for them. As a result I’ve been feeling really out of control. Kind of frantic. I’ve also reached my highest weight in years and even though I have a lot more muscle now than when I last weighed that and I’m taller, it’s still freaking me the fuck out. It’s just gonna keep going up if I don’t do something. So I’ve been listening to the playlist of songs I made for myself when I was really deep in my anorexia and it’s “working”. I was hungry for most of today and I didn’t feel like eating at all. Normally hunger makes me panic and I eat right away. I just want people to care. They think I’m fine and that I don’t need them so they never ask me to do stuff with them. I’m so fuckin lonely. I stay home all day every day except for sports sometimes. If I lose weight at least they’ll notice something is different. Just wish this hamster wheel of self hatred would end somehow. Or maybe I don’t. I think I want to be sad again. Sad is familiar. It’s easier than trying to be happy.
Just....
:(
[Discussion] Is it ever possible to love your body?
/u/Sarahlump
Created: Sun Dec 3 23:11:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hfidj/is_it_ever_possible_to_love_your_body/
---
Do people without eds look at themselves and see an OK body?
Big, small, avg, ive been them all and the only time ive had the slightest bit of confidence was when a person I shared a room with didn't verbally judge my body(we were in our underwear most of the time cause Australia summer.
As soon as I moved out I fell so deep, I fasted for 4weeks, was exercising all the time
Does it ever get better?
[Rant/Rave] a weekend of finding out how much pie I can eat in one binge. dice box for scale
/u/ed_throwaway_sorry [5'9" | cw: 200 gw: 145 | M]
Created: Sun Dec 3 22:36:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hfcjx/a_weekend_of_finding_out_how_much_pie_i_can_eat/
---
https://i.imgur.com/qW94IGX.jpg
[Intro] Hi from an old ED vetern
/u/im-nobody-too
Created: Sun Dec 3 22:11:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hf834/hi_from_an_old_ed_vetern/
---
I'm a semi-recovered anorexic (aka maintaining a healthy weight but still struggling with behaviors and hating my body). I've been lurking this sub for a long time, and I've posted from a throwaway account before, but I couldn't really bring myself to join this sub because, you know, recovery. I've decided to go ahead and join (under a new account, of course) because I really need someplace I can be honest. I'm tired of pretending to be okay and being careful of what I say because I don't want people to worry about me. I'm especially getting really frustrated with the fact that I'm so much heavier now than I used to be even though I'm still so messed up in the head.
Probably going to put this is my flair in a minute here, but just as an introduction: I'm in my mid-20s, don't know my current weight because I'm too scared to check it, kind of hoping to lose weight but my 'official' goal weight is to not gain.
[Rant/Rave] I'm such an open book, it's hurting everything.
/u/notsohappycarrot [5'9|CW:131|GW:120|19.3 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 3 21:56:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hf5ao/im_such_an_open_book_its_hurting_everything/
---
I suck at hiding my unhealthy thoughts. I don't even think about all the negative stuff I say about myself. My boyfriend keeps calling me out on it, my mom keeps emailing me various psychiatrists to make an appointment with. My relationships with my close friends and family would be so much better if I could go longer than 5 minutes without talking about how much I hate my body, or if I could finish a meal without crying about how many calories were in it.
I'm so worried that all this shit makes me unattractive to my SO, and annoying to any people I try to talk to. I don't know how other people can be so good at hiding their bad thoughts lol
[Other] regarding water intake.
/u/bmddx
Created: Sun Dec 3 20:40:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7heqvg/regarding_water_intake/
---
just was curious about how much water others typically drink in a day. do you find that drinking more/less helps? hurts? does it often result in bloating, & if so, how long does it typically take for it to pass? this may read as a stupid question, but since i'm fairly new to restricting & such, i want to hear as much as i can to help me make decisions that i believe will be beneficial to me.
[Help] things are bad but they have been worse before and i survived
/u/kittencow
Created: Sun Dec 3 20:15:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7helsu/things_are_bad_but_they_have_been_worse_before/
---
i have been purging almost everything i eat and i can't stop? i want to stop.. i feel so out of control. i don't want to panic every time i feel food in my stomach. even water triggers the feeling now too, which is fucking terrifying. panicking over drinking water and having to fight the impulse to purge water of all things? not fun.
has anyone experienced this? how did you get over it? i want to restrict and not have to purge, i worry a lot about the side effects. but i am restricting under 400 a day and i am still panicking with that number.
[Rant/Rave] [Rave] GUYS.
/u/ssfbgm
Created: Sun Dec 3 20:02:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hej4z/rave_guys/
---
GUYS. guys. Guys.
So.
Today.
The best fucking thing happened.
At work, I was feeling lazy. Told my coworker she’d have to drag me to the door for our break. SHE FUCKING CARRIED ME TO THE DOOR. i was fucking carried. This makes it all worth it. I’ll be riding this high all the way to my GW. Maybe it’ll happen again when I reach it and she’ll notice I’ve lost more weight 😚
[Help] Tell me how?
/u/SinfulCinnamon
Created: Sun Dec 3 20:01:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hej0t/tell_me_how/
---
How do those of you who drink alcohol accurately count the liquid calories you consume and do you consider them in your overall daily count? It's easyish for me to restrict food calories but when it comes to alcohol, I don't want to count or care. Just want to drink and not worry about it. Plus it fills my stomach and makes me care less so..
[Discussion] Energy Multi?
/u/dipped_in_gold_ [5'3 | CW 114.8 | GW 105 | 22F]
Created: Sun Dec 3 19:42:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hef7z/energy_multi/
---
I'm not quite ready for EC stacks, but I'm ridiculously fatigued from fasting. I think some of this is due to a lack of nutrients (also depression lmfao). Has anyone tried taking a multivitamin specifically for energy, and if so, did it help?
[Rant/Rave] Had a huge fight with my boyfriend
/u/mintslut [4'11 | CW: 111.2 | UGW: 84 | -12.4lbs | F]
Created: Sun Dec 3 19:39:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7heekv/had_a_huge_fight_with_my_boyfriend/
---
It's exam season, so I'm understandably stressed. What sucks, though, is my boyfriend's criticism of me during this already stressed time. Though it is fair to point out that his criticism isn't invalid. He essentially said that I'm being selfish by not working as hard as I can. He's right. I've missed so many classes this semester. I haven't handed in a single assignment, or the huge project I had due for one of my classes. He says I'm not responsible.
I guess he's right. The one good thing about me (my grades) have slipped very low. It was one of the reasons he liked me when we first met, so it's understandable that he's upset about it now.
My mental health hasn't been the greatest for the past couple months. Lots of anxiety and depression, not even initially fuelled by my eating disorder. But it's definitely not any better now, in midst of my heavy restriction.
But you know what? These past couple days, I've been trying. I've been studying non-stop since Friday. Even with my mom nagging me to do work around the house and trying to take care of my baby sister. Except apparently, that's not a good enough excuse because I could've been studying at school.
Sure, yeah, he's right. I could've been studying at school (never mind that it's the one place my anxiety shoots through the goddamn roof). But apparently I don't talk about what I'm studying enough? I guess he doesn't even trust me when I say that I am studying. Despite the fact that the courses I'm taking haven't been remotely interesting to him in the past (all comp sci stuff). And, not to mention, when I get the one chance to talk to my boyfriend during the day, the last thing I'm going to want to do is talk about my studies.
He said I'm not working hard enough. Which sucks. But he's probably right. I (maybe spitefully) told him that I'd work harder, and that he wouldn't hear from me until after exams. My last exam is on the 16th. So what I've decided is that I'm going to ace my exams, pass my classes, and when the 16th rolls around, I'm going to break up with him.
[Rant/Rave] No matter how low calorie it is, high volume food makes me feel like a glutton
/u/oneblueboot [5'8" | CW 135 lbs | GW 120 | 20.5 | 26 F]
Created: Sun Dec 3 19:32:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hed93/no_matter_how_low_calorie_it_is_high_volume_food/
---
I tend to save most of my calories for the evening so I don’t eat a bunch of crap, but lately I’ve found myself in the middle of cooking dinner that’s almost entirely veggies with maybe an egg or some tofu for protein, and I start panicking because it looks like SO MUCH FOOD.
Tonight it’s shirataki noodles in curry miso with broccoli, mushrooms, onions, red bell pepper and 85 g of tofu, with a bowl of spinach/mixed greens and about 100 g of roasted butternut squash on the side. This fucking meal takes up two bowls, and even though I’ve logged it all and I KNOW it’s 250 cal I’m struggling so hard with feeling like I don’t deserve to eat this much.
I know I’ll feel full when I’m done, and I’m scared that I’ll trigger myself to purge for the first time in three weeks, which is the one behavior I’ve tried really really hard to avoid.
Ugh, plus I haven’t had a bowel movement in five days because I’ve been restricting, and I just feel stuffed with garbage right now.
[Help] Cauliflower Concerns..
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 3 19:16:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7he9x0/cauliflower_concerns/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Does anyone else hate the texture of tea?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 3 18:49:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7he4d6/does_anyone_else_hate_the_texture_of_tea/
---
I know this is a weird question but I figured if anyone would relate it would be you guys. Something about the fact that it's the texture of water but tastes like something else weirds me out. Does anyone have suggestions? I would love to love tea but I just can't.
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Too old for this/introduction
/u/holdmybroccoli [5'4" | CW: 150lbs | GW: 114lbs]
Created: Sun Dec 3 18:24:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hdz56/rant_too_old_for_thisintroduction/
---
Content warning: BED details
Hi all,
I was a skinny child. Not the kind of girl who got attention from boys. I was just lanky and ugly. I got bullied a lot. I grew up in a disciplined household. We never snacked, rarely ever ate restaurant food. Stay at home mom cooked all meals, nothing sugary or too high calorie.
When I started going to college, classmates made some comments which made me realize I wasn't skinny anymore. I was one of the bigger girls. My lunch box was the biggest. I ate way more that other girls.
Two years later, my disordered eating began. I moved away for college. There was no one to keep tabs on me. I had an allowance which I could spend any way i wanted. I started eating things I wasn't allowed to eat. Chips, pastries, biscuits. Bags after bags of them. Every year, I got bigger and bigger. The weight gain wasn't astronomical, but I was several sizes bigger. In 2008, I started exercising and lost 13 lbs. I felt great. Clothes fit me beautifully. I got compliments. I looked young and fit.
But the weight loss didn't last. I gained the weight back, and more. After my wedding, I decided yet again to lose weight. I lost 17 lbs. Gained that back within a year. The last time I was at my desired weight was 2014. I was 114 lbs. I cry when I look at my pictures from that time. I looked so young and beautiful.
I am fat and ugly now. I look at least 10 years older. 99% of my clothes don't fit. They're all size 2 and 4. I must be an 8 now. I have one pair of stretchy pants that I wear all the time.
I spent the entire weekend in bed binging and feeling sorry for myself. I was going so well on IF. But I broke my streak (dammit office popcorn). I feel so hopeless. I want to stop bingeing. I am too old for this.
If you made it so far, thank you for reading.
[Other] crying
/u/fortunate-foolx
Created: Sun Dec 3 17:56:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hdt4h/crying/
---
https://i.redd.it/sn8cva3j0t101.jpg
[Help] should I just not workout at all right now? | building muscle + losing 45lbs
/u/345776
Created: Sun Dec 3 17:56:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hdt42/should_i_just_not_workout_at_all_right_now/
---
so I’m on a strict low cal + fasting routine right now to drop a lot of weight really quickly. my goal is 40-45lbs, then I’ll be at my ultimate goal weight. my plan is to then lift weights to build the body I want, paying less attention to the scale.
I like being thick and curvy, which I know is a mix of my bone structure, fat, and muscle. and I’m afraid if I just do cardio or not work out at all then I’ll lose fat or muscle and some of my curves. I’m mostly worried about my legs/butt.
I’ve been doing small weighted exercises to try to build/maintain muscle. but I’m not sure if it’ll really do anything since I’m barely eating and fasting. so I’m wondering if I should just wait till after I drop the weight to start lifting and building muscle? my plan is to slowly lose the weight in 90 days, but I have a feeling it’ll come off sooner than that. any advice on what should do?
[Help] DAE find it super hard to restrict on their cycle?
/u/counting-the-seconds
Created: Sun Dec 3 17:11:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hdjgo/dae_find_it_super_hard_to_restrict_on_their_cycle/
---
I swear, I can go days where I eat less than 500-800 calories no problem, but as soon as I start cramping up, I know I'm going to binge for at least a day or face deathly painful cramps and the elevated risk of passing out. Anyone have suggestions to help with this???
[Rant/Rave] Not Doing Well
/u/0nly-me
Created: Sun Dec 3 16:36:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hdc13/not_doing_well/
---
(not sure if this is the right place to put this, i don’t want to offend anyone so i’m sorry ahead of time)
i’ve had problems with eating disorders for years and for the past 6/7 months i’ve been doing really well. eating 2 meals a day, avoiding scales, not entirely hating what i see in the mirror etc
for the first time in months i just stepped on a scale after a few days of self loathing and i cried at what i saw. i knew i was slipping and i pushed myself head first. i need tips on staying motivated, i’m paranoid now and i can’t stop thinking about it
[Rant/Rave] I hate when friends/ family try and comfort me by saying I'm "strong" and that I'll get through this.
/u/bagelzboi [5'3 | CW:83bs | GW: 13.5 BMI | 21F ]
Created: Sun Dec 3 16:17:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hd7ts/i_hate_when_friends_family_try_and_comfort_me_by/
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No I won't!! I'm not strong! I have no muscles because this illness (that I willingly continue to let rule me) has started eating at my muscle mass!! And I still refuse to give it up because I hate my self. I've made literally no effort to recover! How is that strong? Or maybe they're just saying it to delude themselves into thinking im okay.
[Help] Are extreme caloric deficits possible? (-2500kcal a day for 21 days)
/u/itzybitzysodapop [5'1.8|CW:137.4|GW:98|HW:158|19F]
Created: Sun Dec 3 16:16:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hd7kq/are_extreme_caloric_deficits_possible_2500kcal_a/
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If I worked out everyday for three weeks for like 6 hours a day to bring my TDEE to 3000 kcal a day, and then ate 500 calories a day of food, I'd lose 15 pounds.
So, I'm asking, has anyone ever worked on around a 2500 caloric deficit? 3 weeks isn't *that* long, so is this even possible?
I would take an EC stack in the morning and probably eat keto OMAD to help with the hunger...and maybe throw in a couple of maintenance days to break it up/help?
[Help] How to smoke cigarettes without being gross
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Sun Dec 3 14:51:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hcoes/how_to_smoke_cigarettes_without_being_gross/
---
I know this isn’t what the sub is for but I know there has to be a lot of smokers here. What do our guys do to prevent smelling bad? I use hand sanitizer and lotion afterwards but my hands still smell and I don’t like to chew gum so what can I do about my breath.
[Rant/Rave] Whhhhy can I not tell the difference between ‘no longer stuffed to the brim’ and ‘super motherf*cking hungry’????
/u/throwawaytheworst
Created: Sun Dec 3 14:22:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hchjw/whhhhy_can_i_not_tell_the_difference_between_no/
---
This is driving me nuts. I was so uncomfortably full after eating dinner, then 10 minutes later there’s like a *slight* bit of space in my stomach and it feels like it’s screaming at me to eat. I’m not hungry!! I know this!! So why is it so hard not to just stuff my face?!?! It makes no sense *aaaahhhh*
Anyone else have this problem??
[Rant/Rave] Red Lobster
/u/fortunate-foolx
Created: Sun Dec 3 13:47:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hc8vw/red_lobster/
---
feeling so fucking good because i usually binge on high calorie biscuits and seafood everytime we come here, but i refrained from any biscuits and got a low cal meal, that was also very filling. i feel like i won a small battle
[Discussion] Favorite chew\spit foods?
/u/Anorexibulemanemia [Height 5'7"| CW: 117.6 lbs | GW 100 | 20M]
Created: Sun Dec 3 13:38:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hc6vt/favorite_chewspit_foods/
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I'm getting near the end of the semester and I always end up overeating from stress and anxiety during finals. BUT NOT THIS TIME!
What are some of your favorite things to chew and spit? I'm trying to mitigate these cravings with as little impact to my fat disgusting body as possible lol
[Discussion] People w/ BMI 17 or lower, how is your hair?
/u/cloudy_gaze [5'3" | 95lbs | 16.8 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 3 13:36:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hc6hk/people_w_bmi_17_or_lower_how_is_your_hair/
---
Hey guys!
I've experienced so much hair loss over the last few months as I've lost weight, and I know it's a common issue with EDs. But I was wondering if anyone with a very low BMI has found a way to improve their hair quality? Whether by upping caloric intake or taking supplements?
Thanks!
[Help] How to not panic from weight fluctuations?
/u/uncommonlyaverage [5'3" | CW 112 | UGW 92 |18F]
Created: Sun Dec 3 13:10:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hbzwt/how_to_not_panic_from_weight_fluctuations/
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I lost about a little over a pound over like 3 days from heavy restriction then got on the scale and I was right back up to 113 this morning after eating about the same calories yesterday slightly more like 380 instead of 350, than I had the other days. I did eat a can of soup (140 cals) so is it the sodium? I get super upset and panic whenever the scale goes up. Did I gain? What is the weight from??
[Discussion] DAE love sleeping in on weekends
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 | CW 145 | 24.1| -10lb| F]
Created: Sun Dec 3 12:57:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hbww3/dae_love_sleeping_in_on_weekends/
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I feel like when I sleep in really late on weekends I skip out on all the hunger from lunch and dinner and then all I have to restrict from is dinner! It definitely takes away the fear of bingeing.
I don't even know anymore
/u/Renegade_always_was [5'6 | CW 140 | UGW 115 | 22.69 | -20lbs | 20/F]
Created: Sun Dec 3 12:13:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hbmb6/i_dont_even_know_anymore/
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For around a year i had no problem restricting, it was like second nature i didn't even think about eating over 1000 calories. But now i cannot stop eating. Even when I'm not hungry. Its causing me serious anxiety and i have breakdowns like every other day. My girlfriend i feel like is getting fed up with me at this point.
[Help] Food scale recommendations?
/u/Morbid_bones [✨5'2" | 124.3 | 23.55 | -22.7 lbs | F ✨]
Created: Sun Dec 3 11:49:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hbgbr/food_scale_recommendations/
---
Hi, all!
My food scale is making me more and more frustrated lately, as it can be difficult to zero out while measuring. Also, the unit converter is on the underside; I prefer measuring in grams, but sometimes a serving will only be available in ounces on my tracking app. It also has periods where it’s just not responsive, despite having a fresh battery. Arg!
So! I’m in the market for a new food scale.
Does anyone have a scale they really like and would recommend?
[This is my current food scale. ](https://www.walmart.com/ip/Cuisinart-DigiPad-Digital-Kitchen-Scale-Red/163982301?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=1148&adid=22222222228037519311&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=m&wl3=98283347554&wl4=aud-310687322322:pla-226031809474&wl5=9032278&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=112562587&wl11=online&wl12=163982301&wl13=&veh=sem)
[Discussion] Anyone have a partner who sort of supports their ED?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 3 11:47:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hbfxs/anyone_have_a_partner_who_sort_of_supports_their/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hbfxs/anyone_have_a_partner_who_sort_of_supports_their/
[Other] Having an ED got me like
/u/fluffyfinaland [5'6"| 153.4 | BMI 24 | -17 | 21F]
Created: Sun Dec 3 11:19:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hb9di/having_an_ed_got_me_like/
---
I wonder how much weight I lost by shaving my legs yesterday for the first time in a month?
Some of these thoughts are just downright ridiculous 😂😂
(but fr how many ounces did I lose lol)
This isn't true, right?
/u/cramthatgram [6'1 | 150 | 18.9]
Created: Sun Dec 3 11:16:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hb8lj/this_isnt_true_right/
---
https://i.imgur.com/cWspsC3.jpg
[Other] Is anyone else obsessed with security cameras?
/u/squamouspuppies [5'9" | 25M]
Created: Sun Dec 3 10:55:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hb3jp/is_anyone_else_obsessed_with_security_cameras/
---
Like, when you walk into the grocery store or something and you can see the TVs above you playing the footage. I love to obsessively look at my body from different angles through them for some reason and I feel fucking crazy because I worry people notice because I'm standing there too long, hahaha.
[Other] Finally got peach!
/u/chocolate_9_T [5"0 | 109😭 | 21.1 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 3 10:33:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hayes/finally_got_peach/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I’m finally winning!!
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW:142 |CW:123 |20.6 |GW:110 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 3 10:32:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hay3n/im_finally_winning/
---
There was a post on here a few days ago about losing weight to get back at people. I had written about my ex best friend who I was skinnier than for about a year. She ended up getting sick with some digestive issues and she lost so much weight. Like, she had to be around 100.
I was so fucking angry and jealous. I started restricting like crazy and right now I’m close to 120. She just made a post showing her body now. She’s gotten surgery for her issues and can eat again and she gained back so much of the weight she lost! I looked at her picture and realized that I’m winning again! She looks similar to the way she looked when she was 128 and we were still kind of talking, so I’d imagine she’s around that number. I’m just so ecstatic!! She posted about needing to work out again but I’m so glad I don’t even have to! She’s only going to keep eating and gaining whether it’s fat or muscle and I’m going to keep losing no matter what.
I finally win!!
I know it’s fucked up that I’m fixated on being skinnier than her, but when she was super thin she loved it and was posting body pics all the time and tagging it as thinspo and things like that. She was obsessed with herself. Now she can’t be that way, but I can. It’s so fucked up, I know, but I’m happy.
Finally got peach!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 3 10:29:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7haxfs/finally_got_peach/
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[deleted]
protein powder?
/u/fitisthegoal
Created: Sun Dec 3 10:28:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7haxb7/protein_powder/
---
Please flair as question!
Does anyone have a favorite protein powder they use that's relatively low cal? (Under 200)
I've seen MyProtein impact whey protein is 19 g of protein and 100kcals but has anyone tried it?
Using it to add much lacking protein to my diet i want to try and get close to 100
!!
[Help] Does Levi's vanity size?
/u/I_donut_carrot_all [5'6| 85 | 13.71 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 3 10:28:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hax7y/does_levis_vanity_size/
---
Does anyone know whether levi's run big, small or true to size? Bought a pair of jeans on a whim, thinking there would be no way they would fit but they do.
Does the sizing run true for all age sizes?
[Discussion] What is your response to comments about your weight?
/u/sogyosha
Created: Sun Dec 3 10:28:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hax4l/what_is_your_response_to_comments_about_your/
---
When someone says "Wow, have you lost weight? You look amazing!" what is your response?
I am always tempted to say "Thanks, I have an eating disorder!" and just walk away really fast but these kinds of comments give me so much stress. What response are they expecting??
Also, what is your response if people say they're "worried about how much weight you're losing"? That's even harder to respond to.
Cravings
/u/TheGlitterMahdi [5'4" | 190lbs | 33.25 | -100lbs | Dude]
Created: Sun Dec 3 10:24:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hawe8/cravings/
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I've been solidly under 500 cals for the last 2 weeks. I messed up my back recently (it's a chronic thing) and I'm in a lot of pain today and took some of the hardcore meds the hospital gave me. Now I feel sick and in pain, so I can't really do anything to take up time and help me ignore feeling hungry, let alone exercise. I can't even sleep, which is what I do when I can't figure anything else to take up my time, because I'm in too much pain.
I can't stop thinking about food right now. Even a snack this early in the day is more calories than I can afford, and I'm sitting here making online orders over and over at the local pizza place and then not clicking submit. I can't stop crying and I feel like a complete failure, and I know feeling like that is going to make it easier for me to binge, and then I really will be a failure and it'll start the binging cycle all over again. I've finally hit the half point between my high weight and my goal. I can't afford to start binging again. I don't know what to do but I can't stop crying.
[Discussion] absurd flux + plat?
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 17BMI | -165 | 30F | AU]
Created: Sun Dec 3 10:16:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7haueb/absurd_flux_plat/
---
so I keep a daily count of my weight but I also occasional journal. I decided to make an entry the other day and looked at last months, which I always start with my weight on that date, and it was exactly the fucking same. I know ive dipped 5 lbs lower here and there this month then back up but im so discouraged and depressed over it.
I'm plating so much these days. it's killing my heart.
[Help] EC stack?
/u/wxnter- [5'4 | CW: 120 | 21 | UGW: 93]
Created: Sun Dec 3 10:11:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7hat8j/ec_stack/
---
really considering going out and buying bronkaid today since I️ already have caffeine pills. Has anyone tried it before? What were the results like?
(on mobile - can’t flair sorry)
[Other] It's like the girl is binge food, the boy is a triggering thing, and I am the shark.
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 340593845093485903485903458 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Dec 3 08:33:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ha8f0/its_like_the_girl_is_binge_food_the_boy_is_a/
---
https://i.imgur.com/1EUK2re.gifv
[Discussion] December 3rd, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 3 08:11:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ha45w/december_3rd_2017_question_of_the_day/
---
On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you?
(And whoops just realized I got yesterday’s date wrong)
[Rant/Rave] Lmao @ my brain rationalizing the idea of achieving a thigh gap
/u/rocksnowls
Created: Sun Dec 3 08:01:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ha27i/lmao_my_brain_rationalizing_the_idea_of_achieving/
---
"Have a thigh gap? Cool. Now try and squish your thighs together.
Still have a thigh gap? Whatever. Now jiggle the flab on ur thighs.
It doesn't jiggle that much? Eh. Video it in slow mo.
Oh damn, see all that flub waggling around? Ur disgusting, you may as well have walruses for thighs u piece of pure lard you SUCK and ur also a poot"
That's a direct quote from my brain. I spent last night filming my jiggly thighs in slow mo and tearing up lollll
[Help] Chocolate mono question
/u/bi-the-wayy
Created: Sun Dec 3 07:55:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ha16j/chocolate_mono_question/
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I did the mono yesterday and I did lose and I kind of want to try it again today, but I got a sugar free vanilla coffee from McDonald's this morning (90c). Do you think this will mess up the mono diet and I would gain if I tried to mono chocolate from here?
[Help] Ketone complex capsules
/u/dino_bones72 [5’3” | 130lbs | 22 | 13lbs | Female ]
Created: Sun Dec 3 07:40:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h9yjy/ketone_complex_capsules/
---
http://www.hollandandbarrett.com/shop/product/holland-barrett-raspberry-ketone-complex-capsules-60021031?skuid=021031
Anyone tried these? Are they any good?
[Other] I'm going to start chew-spitting everything
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 340593845093485903485903458 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Dec 3 07:27:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h9w91/im_going_to_start_chewspitting_everything/
---
My relapse has reached this point. I will eat normally only when I take my meds at night. And like, ideally I'll want to fast. But, when I inevitably crave food, I'm just going to chew/spit. I overate for 2 days AND GAINED 6.5 LBS. WHAT? HOW? I'm upset. I feel disgusting. So let's do this.
[Thinspo] Perfection
/u/TheMostExoticFlower [5'4 | -55lbs | F]
Created: Sun Dec 3 07:23:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h9vqa/perfection/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6inMxZ014o
[Other] Had the urge to binge so I drew instead!
/u/bagelzboi [5'3 | CW:83bs | GW: 13.5 BMI | 21F ]
Created: Sun Dec 3 06:34:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h9nnb/had_the_urge_to_binge_so_i_drew_instead/
---
https://imgur.com/a/hK6NH
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! December 03, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Dec 3 05:11:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h9cf7/daily_food_diary_december_03_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 03, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your latest grocery+food hauls!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Dec 3 05:10:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h9cda/sunday_share_your_latest_groceryfood_hauls/
---
Feel welcome to post pics of your latest and greatest hauls~! Consider adding commentary on:
* what country you're in
* what store, site, market or Co-op you shopped at
* how much you spent or any sweet deals you found
[Rant/Rave] I feel such visceral disgust any time I hear the phrase "binge watching."
/u/bagelzboi [5'3 | CW:83bs | GW: 13.5 BMI | 21F ]
Created: Sun Dec 3 04:29:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h97a0/i_feel_such_visceral_disgust_any_time_i_hear_the/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Bones are really hard? (No, really)
/u/stlib
Created: Sun Dec 3 04:20:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h966a/bones_are_really_hard_no_really/
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I'm currently laying on my side on the sofa and I can feel my hipbone.
Not an exciting statement until I realised that I had never felt this before, even as a kid I was covered in a thick ass layer of 'puppy fat' so I just never ever felt them.
In the same vein I can now feel my butt bones (...?) whenever I sit on a hard chair.
I feel like the fat equivalent to Pinocchio. Now that I've lost weight I can *feel* things, like a *real* girl
What about you guys? Anything else I should come to consider?
[Discussion] Does Anyone Else... force them self to eat food they have so that it’s over and done with and they won’t have any temptations while restricting or fasting on other days
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Sun Dec 3 04:02:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h942f/does_anyone_else_force_them_self_to_eat_food_they/
---
DAE excuse eating lots by telling yourself “if i eat it now it won’t be there for me to eat later and then i won’t eat the rest of the days”
i always go on walks with my best friend and she stops off at a local shop. she buys snacks like any normal teenager and i often get roped in especially by special deals on food and when i’m with her i manage to not consider the consequences. then we get home and she eats so much happily and i tell myself with jealousy that i’m allowed to eat admiring how non disordered her eating habits are (i do this with lots of people around me)
anyway the point of the story is that i end up with lots of food at my house (always under 1500 calories worth because i know if/ when i eat it all i don’t ever want to go OVER my absolute maximum calories) and i always end up eating it and almost forcing myself to eat it to get it over and done with rather than throwing it out or at least eating it over the space of a few days. when i restrict i only eat healthy food even if there’s something low calorie if it’s not natural i don’t want it so the unhealthy food i buy with my friend would be wasted. it’s such a dilemma but more just wondering if anyone else is like this
i dragged this story out way too far lol sorry
Why I love my local Walmart
/u/Rawr1992 [5'11 | CW: 187 | BMI: 25.5 | -12 | M]
Created: Sun Dec 3 03:15:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h8yse/why_i_love_my_local_walmart/
---
https://i.redd.it/9poyob1ano101.jpg
[Help] Calorie counter / weight tracker
/u/dino_bones72 [5’3” | 130lbs | 22 | 13lbs | Female ]
Created: Sun Dec 3 03:02:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h8xdb/calorie_counter_weight_tracker/
---
Sorry if this has been asked and answered before - I tried to search on mobile but wasn’t getting anywhere.
Can anyone recommend an app to track daily intake and weight loss? It’s for iOS, and I’m in the UK so preferably one that has a database of UK food so I can scan barcodes / select from a list etc.
Thanks
Dino x
[Thinspo] Surprise size 2 success!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 3 02:55:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h8whr/surprise_size_2_success/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I ate 18000+ calories today...I feel so lost
/u/plediw [161|54kg|GW48kg|19F]
Created: Sun Dec 3 00:27:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h8fmc/i_ate_18000_calories_todayi_feel_so_lost/
---
It's 2:25 am and I just realized that I have literally spent 14 hours today non stop binging and purging, and have eaten 18 000 ish calories (probably more) and everything has just been a haze. I don't even want to think about how much money I spent. I just feel like I'm getting worse and worse and I just want to escape from it all. I'm not even trying to do schoolwork because thinking of all my assignments is absolutely terrifying. And it sucks because I actually love all my classes and assignments, but I'm so anxious at the thought of having to do them which is so fucking conflicting and confusing. Ah this is becoming a vent now, but I don't know how to stop this b/p mess, every day has been like this for a month now and I just feel so helpless and disgusting. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm running out of money, but I can't stop binging, and I'm getting so fucking fat and wobbly (haha kill me).
[Discussion] Miracle/Shirataki Noodles- any ill effects?
/u/pinkerapples
Created: Sun Dec 3 00:11:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h8dkp/miracleshirataki_noodles_any_ill_effects/
---
Tried 'em and love them. But has anyone stuffed themselves on them for a couple days and experienced weird digestive issues or anything else for which I should take some precaution?
I got some sample packs, and I could seriously see myself just going to town on this. I usually cook Asian anyway, but calorie free noodles- this could get gloriously sloppy.
(I know they're not completely calorie-free but they're low enough to get to say so on the packaging.)
Other than how expensive they are, what are the drawbacks?
I feel like they have to cause stank gas or something. Or are we in a time where calorie-free food is a thing as long as you can afford it?
[Rant/Rave] Goooood evening
/u/dipped_in_gold_ [5'3 | CW 114.8 | GW 105 | 22F]
Created: Sat Dec 2 23:14:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h85yv/goooood_evening/
---
I'm drunk and sad and stressing about all the calories I just consumed from the jungle juice I drank tonight + the Waffle House I had this morning yayyyy
[Rant/Rave] Pregnancy and now nursing
/u/ObservingSilence
Created: Sat Dec 2 22:48:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h822m/pregnancy_and_now_nursing/
---
My husband and I got pregnant last January. It was a struggle every day but I was able to eat enough for me and our baby to thrive. I am now nursing her (the best thing for her) and the compulsion to restrict is stronger than ever. My daughter is almost 2 months old and I would like to nurse for 6 months... however, I am the heaviest ever and I am having such a hard time... any view points would be appreciated!
Edit: On mobile, can’t flair.
[Rant/Rave] My body is angry
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 | CW 145 | 24.1| -10lb| F]
Created: Sat Dec 2 22:45:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h81hk/my_body_is_angry/
---
It is so angry that I binged today like I have had so much pizza and even Taco Bell I feel so gross. My stomach is killing me I legit think it is angry for what I ate. I am having such bad indigestion IM NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN
[Rant/Rave] That moment when...
/u/fiberopticjellyfish [5'2" | CW 156.8 | GW 110 | BMI 29.8 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 2 21:01:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h7kr7/that_moment_when/
---
Your best guy friend looks at you and asks if you’re “dieting again” because you look smaller. Definitely helps with motivation! Doing a juice fast tomorrow and going to be walking around a lot so I’ll end the weekend right (:
[Discussion] DAE secretly compete with their friends?
/u/clemintide
Created: Sat Dec 2 21:00:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h7kmj/dae_secretly_compete_with_their_friends/
---
I don’t know how else to explain this without sounding like a shitty friend but I’ll look at pictures of my overweight friends on their social media’s and use it for inspo. I don’t exactly know why I do this but it just motivates me to remain disciplined and lose more weight. It just feels so good being the one getting thinner while everyone else around you gains weight. I guess because my ED makes me feel competitive?- I have to be the “best.” It’s especially satisfying when it’s a friend who used to be thin but gained a lot of weight and now you’re smaller than them. Ahh I feel horrible about this but I can’t help it
[Tip] SteamFresh bags are a lifesaver
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | CW: 120 | GW: small | F]
Created: Sat Dec 2 20:35:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h7g7q/steamfresh_bags_are_a_lifesaver/
---
I bought a bag from the store tonight instead of binge food. It was a mix of potatoes, snap peas, and red peppers, a pretty decent size altogether, for 80 cals/serving, 200 total. (There are also veggie mixes that are way fewer calories, if you guys are interested--I think the potatoes and sauce are what stacked on the cals in this one.)
It was so tasty and warm, and now I feel so full and good. It was also less than $2, so pretty reasonable. 10/10 would recommend.
[Rant/Rave] Totally fucked up but made me feel better about my body
/u/Grymdolin
Created: Sat Dec 2 20:13:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h7c4z/totally_fucked_up_but_made_me_feel_better_about/
---
A couple weeks ago one of my coworkers admitted to being recovered from an ED. Tonight, she told me that she wished she had my body. In a twisted way it made me feel like I was on the right track, ya know?
[Rant/Rave] I binged today and now i hate cheesecake
/u/ScrunchiesandDraino [5’8” |cw:250 |-25lbs |20F]
Created: Sat Dec 2 20:03:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h7acd/i_binged_today_and_now_i_hate_cheesecake/
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i ate so much today!!! i wanna die!!!! my parents were out of the house and idk what compelled me to start binging but i got to the point where I made myself an entire no bake cheese cake and ate it all, after eating half a leftover pizza.
why!? WHY DID I DO THIS?!?
i’m feeling much better now bc this binge happened this morning/early afternoon but like.... i felt so sick from just cheesecake i don’t think i’ll ever wanna eat it again (i hope)
i was doing so so good lately too! i know one binge after a bunch of >1000kcal days isn’t bad but damn if it doesn’t feel like i’ve lost all of my progress after one day of fucking up
[Rant/Rave] Accidentally started fasting????
/u/fractalviscera [5'4" | CW 105 | GW 102 | 18.4 | 23f]
Created: Sat Dec 2 19:40:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h762e/accidentally_started_fasting/
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So I had to wake up early for the LSAT today, ate a quest bar at 7:30AM, was taking the test until 1PM, and went home and immediately took a nap that lasted until 5. Hour and a half later and I still don't feel hungry??? One of my goals for this month was to try and do a 24 hour fast and I think I'm just going to go for it now since I'm almost halfway there. Thank you fasting gods or whoever I guess???
[Goal] I have to burn 70,000 calories to get to my goal weight... wat
/u/Fuzzypanda67 [5'8" | 135lb | 19.37 | -7 | 20 F]
Created: Sat Dec 2 19:27:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h73ju/i_have_to_burn_70000_calories_to_get_to_my_goal/
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About three months ago I started dating a new guy and he’s the absolute best. He’s a marine in my university’s ROTC program and he’s recently become the commander to the entire battalion (basically the highest rank a ROTC officer can get at our uni).
Next semester I’ll be attending navy ball with him and I’m petrified of not looking good in my dress (I’ll post dress pics once I make some progress towards my GW). Since he’s the top guy I’m going to be featured in a ton of official photographs and I’ll be standing next to him in front of EVERYONE while he gives his speech to the other officers. I feel so pressured to look perfect and I’m no where near in shape right now.
I’m very much of a numbers person when it comes to my ED and after doing all the calculations to figure out how to obtain my goal weight I realized I have to burn an excess of 70,000 calories by April in order to even reach my GW.
Burning ~3,500 calories = -1lb of fat
My GW is 120lb so multiply 3,500 by 20 and you get 70,000.
70,000 seems INSANE. I applaud those of you who have lost significant amounts of weight. It’s so scary when you look at the numbers and realize how hard it’s going to be.
Anywho, wish me the best! I’ll try to post progress photos over the next couple months (if I make any noticeable progress... lol)
[Goal] do you change your goals when you start losing more weight than you predicted??
/u/345776
Created: Sat Dec 2 18:42:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h6v11/do_you_change_your_goals_when_you_start_losing/
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I’m curious what you guys do when you start losing more weight than you expected? like you meet your goal weights sooner than the expected date? do you start changing the other expected goal weights to lower ones or keep them the same way? I hope this makes sense lol.
I’m asking because I’ve made a 90 day weight loss plan. my goals aren’t super extreme. it’s basically 40lbs in 3 months and I’m starting at a high weight. I used a weight loss calculator but it doesn’t factor in that I’ll be fasting some days. I also didn’t add the exercise I’ll be doing. I just don’t want to get my hopes too high, but I’m pretty sure I will lose more than what’s projected. I’m not sure if at that point I should change the expected goal weights I have set (about 4 each month) to lower goals? or just simply allow myself to overachieve lol. I don’t know what would be better mentally.
[Help] You guys I need help to not binge
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Sat Dec 2 18:31:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h6t0i/you_guys_i_need_help_to_not_binge/
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Ugh I have posted about this way too much recently so I apologize.
I binged the past two nights and aaaaaaaaallllllllll I want to do is restrict for atleast 48 hours go make up for it. I was doing fine and now that it’s getting late I’m so fucking hungry and I feel so weak and i just want to give in..... what’s another day right........
I’m also in a horrible fricken mood and that doesn’t help I just want to say fuck it and eat everything.
I know I’ll hate myself in the am and feel so much better if I don’t eat but all I can think about is food filling my sadness.
Also I can’t eat anything, not even something small or I’ll say fuck it and eat everything.
Guys help I don’t know what to do.
I was 6lbs up this morning (hopefully most of it is water and bloat) and I can’t bear to go any higher but what’s the point.
😭😭😭😭😭
[Intro] I Never Made an Intro Post, So, Hello
/u/counting-the-seconds
Created: Sat Dec 2 18:24:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h6rnu/i_never_made_an_intro_post_so_hello/
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Y'all can ignore this if you want; I'm just glad to have a platform where I can express my feelings freely with minimal judgment.
I'm a 20-year-old pre-medical Neuroscience student about to finish her junior year of undergrad. I've been a straight-A student my whole life with an extreme fear of failure and overwhelming perfectionistic habits.
I've struggled with my eating habits for about 11 years now, maybe longer. I was always chubby as a kid, and my grandmother and friends at school made sure to point that out daily. I was even pulled out of ballet class as a 4-year-old because the teacher told my grandmother I didn't have the right body type to be a dancer...I'd need to consistently watch my weight.
What really set me off though on this long, self-destructive path was when I was at the doctor with my mom one day (I was 12) and I stepped on the scale and she said, "157? Wow. What happened to being 135?" Mind you, I've always been relatively tall (I was 5'7" at the time, I'm 5'8" now) and just hearing what I perceived as disgust at my weight in her voice made me even more ashamed.
At first, I started limiting myself to one meal a day. I'd skip breakfast, throw away my lunch, and eat dinner with my family. This yielded a 15 lb weight loss in a little over a month. Then, when that stopped working, I started researching calorie contents in what I was eating, which instilled an intense fear of eating more than 500 calories a day in me. I was 13 by this time.
Cue another 20 lb weight loss. My grandma wanted to sign me up for a modeling agency ("5'8" and 120 lbs? That's perfect!"), but my mom began expressing genuine concern.
I got used to fasting for days on end. To keep myself from binging, I'd self-harm as a punishment. My mom put me in therapy and told me if I didn't start eating normally, she'd put me in the hospital and have the doctors force a feeding tube down my throat. I said okay. That was when I began purging my meals. I got down to about 115 lbs at my lowest.
Eventually, I began to recover, I gained weight back, but I'd relapse periodically. This gain-lose cycle has continued for years. The same, "Oh, you're getting chubby..." or, "Oh, you look so skinny!" comments from my family persist depending on where I lie in that moment.
At my highest, I was 172 lb (October 30th,2017). It's December 2nd now, and I'm already back down to 148.
I want to get better, I really do, I don't want to go down this path again, but I feel like it's the only way I can cope with my stress and anxiety without flat-out killing myself. There's comfort in being...empty.
[Discussion] Who else is nervous about hitting their GW?
/u/FlereImsahox [5'6.5 | CW: 120.6 | GW:118]
Created: Sat Dec 2 18:18:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h6qmv/who_else_is_nervous_about_hitting_their_gw/
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Okay for context I was HELLA sick over my period and for 3 days I couldn't really eat, like I had maybe... 400 calories those 3 days total? Food was just absolutely repulsive (kinda enjoyed it tbh send help). But since I wasn't eating it artificially pushed my weight down to 118 which is my goal weight but I "gained" 2 lbs since I actually have food in me. I knew that would happen, but as soon as I saw 120 my mind instantly went I bet I can get lower than 118. I have been super committed to losing my weight really slowly since I've been this weight after a crash and it just wasn't sustainable, I looked awful. However after being at this for like a half a year for 10 lbs since I would lose a little maintain for a while and repeat, I'm really close to being there and it's kinda freaking me out? Like once I hit that weight am I *really* going to be satisfied? But what about that high when you look down and see you lost weight on the scale? Or seeing the changes? I haven't been working out enough so I'm a little skinny fat but what if I just need to lose a few few more pounds, like... 2 can't hurt right? Hmmm still not right, how about 5? More? I'm nervous once I hit my goal it's not going to be enough and I'm just going to go nuts. The worst thing is I know exactly how to do it, I've been lower than 118... I just don't want to go back to who fucking bad it was but it's like forbidden knowledge can't unread that book...
[Rant/Rave] Broke up with my boyfriend so me and my eating disorder could be alone
/u/pleasegodnofuck [5'3 | 852lbs | 155.1 | -11lbs | ?]
Created: Sat Dec 2 18:00:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h6my3/broke_up_with_my_boyfriend_so_me_and_my_eating/
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Apparently being thin > love.
[Rant/Rave] I don't really know how to title this but...
/u/counting-the-seconds
Created: Sat Dec 2 17:24:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h6fov/i_dont_really_know_how_to_title_this_but/
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So I'm a server at a busy restaurant (owned by a sweet husband and wife couple), and I was a little dizzy throughout the shift and not quite 100% because I had been fasting prior too.
Well, I work with my boyfriend, and when my boss asked him what was wrong with me, he said something like, "Well, I mean, she hasn't eaten in 30+ hours."
So my boss pulled me off to the side and gave me an avocado with some lemon juice and salt and told me if I didn't eat it, I had to go home.
Not only did this break my fast (I was at 39 hours...I was planning on making it to 48), but it lead to me binging all afternoon because I already felt guilty and thought, "Why the fuck not?" All this over a fucking avocado. I actually hate myself lmao resetting my fasting timer for tomorrow. I will make it 48 hours this time. No intervention.
[Other] Laser hair removal fail
/u/oxygens_overrated [5'4|HW:150|CW:147|LW:113|GW:125 |F| ]
Created: Sat Dec 2 16:40:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h66bi/laser_hair_removal_fail/
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So I went to get my first laser hair removal treatment today for my legs. I was super excited about it. And uh. I STARTED MY PERIOD MID SESSION. I got up and there was blood on the table and I apologized so much and I was so embarrassed. Idk if I can ever show my face to that place again...
[Rant/Rave] Outside in the pouring rain shivering and suffering
/u/Ironicbanana14
Created: Sat Dec 2 16:34:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h6555/outside_in_the_pouring_rain_shivering_and/
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But all I could think about it "At least im burning more calories" lol. I had to go to my sisters band concert outside, and if you know anything about the pacific northwest this time of year, it's like 40°F and raining. So im soaked and shivering because there were no seats under the gazebo but all I thought about it how many calories I was burning. I know its ridiculous but I did!
[Help] I *need* to throw away all these granola bars. Or shall i give them to the homeless....?
/u/richnskinny [5’8 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 2 16:21:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h62el/i_need_to_throw_away_all_these_granola_bars_or/
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This is also a Rant/Vent
1 box of Nature Valley sweet n salty nut almond
160 Cals each
48 pack
there’s 36 Left.
1 box of Fiber One oats and chocolate “with 20% more chocolate!!!”
140 Cals each
36 Pack
there’s 30 left.
I cannot do this anymore....
Visited my parents for thanksgiving; They hadn’t seen me for 2.5 months and I lost like 10 lbs. From restricting. They totally freaked out even though I assured them it was on purpose. (And my BMI is literally 20 rn sooo it’s not like I’m a skeleton 🙄)
They took me food shopping at CostCo so i could pick out some food to take back with me. Unfortunately I was hungry while I was shopping so I got a bunch of avocados, meats, cheese, GRANOLA BARS, and chocolate covered almonds.
I thought I would have the self control to NOT binge and eat these things minimally but it turns out, I can’t do it. 😔 I feel so bad about myself because I literally can’t eat just one at a time. This is really fucking me up; I’ve definitely gained weight. I’m not used to having Food in my apartment; All i had was tea and water. When i felt the need to eat, i would buy something.
Idk if being on my period has to do with this but DUDE, I finished the whole 2lb jar of chocolate covered almonds in 2 days. Enough is enough!!!!!
No choice but to get rid of the bars 👹
But I know that some people wish they could afford this food so maybe i should give it away??
I could find a homeless person (I’m in a big city) However some of them don’t appreciate food.... i hear crack really curbs the appetite... lol side note, last year I tried to give a homeless man my fries and then he took one and spit it out… kinda traumatic
[Rant/Rave] Why is everyone feeding me :-(
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW:142 |CW:123 |20.6 |GW:110 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 2 16:13:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h60lu/why_is_everyone_feeding_me/
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Do you ever have days where food is just everywhere?? Today at work we had pizza and bagels because there was an event. I had eaten half a bagel and I couldn’t resist the stupid pizza.
Now I’m seeing my parents and they’re bringing home chicken tenders for me even though I repeatedly told them I ate at work!! My mom told me that she expects me to eat them, probably because she’s onto me. I’m just upset. I really don’t want to eat.
I felt so guilty after eating the pizza that I started planning a two day fast starting tomorrow. I’m just mad. I feel like the world keeps feeding me today, conveniently after I hit a new low weight. Sigh.
On the plus side I’ve been wearing form fitting clothes (I only ever wore baggy things) and I’ve gotten so many comments at work about being “super tiny” and “wow you’re so skinny!!”
So that makes me feel a bit better.
Either way I’m readying the water and laxatives. I hate today.
[Rant/Rave] When you finally manage to get the courage to eat at a restaurant, and nobody will go with you...
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Sat Dec 2 15:57:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h5x78/when_you_finally_manage_to_get_the_courage_to_eat/
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My mom told me she wanted to go get lunch somewhere, so I decided I would be able to eat at a restaurant. I hadn’t eaten all day, I was down 2 pounds, I could manage it.
Fast forward 4 hours later, and she’s on about not feeling like it anymore, but I’m welcome to go get something for myself if I want. ... you’re joking, right?
So of course now I’ve had nothing all day, have no desire to eat anymore, and expect my only intake today will be 400 cals of alcohol. This is what I get for trying to be normal.
[Rant/Rave] When you and your friend both have an ED and you’re talking about how restricting is going
/u/eurydiicce
Created: Sat Dec 2 15:53:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h5wdp/when_you_and_your_friend_both_have_an_ed_and/
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https://youtu.be/OIgVX87Uy_4
[Help] Why do I struggle so much with fasting?
/u/FeedMeDreams [5'5" | 66.1kg | 24.6 | F | bulimic]
Created: Sat Dec 2 15:51:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h5vsh/why_do_i_struggle_so_much_with_fasting/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I'm not sure if my boyfriend of four years and I are going to break up or not and I'm scared.
/u/sadbucket [5'5" | CW: 115.4 | GW: 110 | 22F]
Created: Sat Dec 2 15:15:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h5omy/im_not_sure_if_my_boyfriend_of_four_years_and_i/
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I'm sorry this isn't the most relevant post for this subreddit. I just love this community and I was hoping for some insight from the fellow ED-afflicted.
My boyfriend and I had a bad fight on Tuesday and he hasn't spoken to me since.
Before that, he told me he wasn't sure if he still wanted to be with me so I think the fight might've been the straw that broke the camel's back.
I tried to reach out to him on Wednesday morning but he hasn't made any contact since the fight. This is day four. The lack of fucking anything is making me feel sick to my stomach.
I want to take some time away from him because we're not happy but I want to reconnect later. I guess it would technically be a "break" as much as I loathe the term. I don't want him out of my life completely. We've been together for four years and man, I miss him right now.
Can anyone please offer some insight?
[Discussion] I Think I've Got It Down
/u/fuckingilluminated
Created: Sat Dec 2 14:36:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h5gcj/i_think_ive_got_it_down/
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Okay, so I think I've pretty much figured out my whoosh for my body. I restrict to 300-500 calories on a regular day, fast for probably 2-3 days out of the week. I have spaced out goal weights, because my HW was higher, and I still have a lot of weight to lose, so it's easy for me to drop 5-6 pounds in a week. I do light chores and small work outs through out the week, mostly due to fatigue and my body is not capable for strenuous activity. I drink lots of water and sometimes tea, eat a vegetarian diet, no processed foods. I look at thinspo a lot and keep my brain occupied.
Then when I hit my GW I try to maintain for at least a week, and within that week I might eat more food, but I up the frequency of my workouts. So I can keep my body in check and work on my stomach. I have stretch marks and I weigh a lot, I am so worried about saggy skin.
What do you guys think? What do you guys do? What is your method?
[Discussion] That one comment!
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 60.9 kg | BMI: 22.6 | -22.6 kg | 21F]
Created: Sat Dec 2 14:15:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h5bv9/that_one_comment/
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Today I got asked something along the lines of "didn't you already eat enough?"
Well it was ONE bun with sausages and we were at a christmas market (Germany) and there was a lot of good food. I was doing so well until that comment ruined my mood completely. I did eat the second dish but it was basically because my friend begged me to.
Has that happend to you too? How often? I was wondering how often it happens someone comments on food (especially in such a way!) and ruins our day.
[Rant/Rave] My first rave!
/u/fimuckmylife
Created: Sat Dec 2 13:28:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h51ul/my_first_rave/
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A friend of mine (God bless his soul) bought me the scale I used to have before I lost it in the divorce that measures body fat and muscle percentage. I immediately hopped on to see what kind of progress I have been making.
At first I was very disappointed. I was 2 lbs higher than the last time I weighed in and nowhere near where I estimated I'd be with the amount of restricting I've been doing. But then it told me my fat and muscle percentages and I was floored. Since my last weigh in I have lost 16 lbs of fat and gained 18 lbs of muscle!!! OMG!!!
[Rant/Rave] Finally getting Nexaplanon removed! 🙌🏼
/u/NegativeOscillation [5'9" | CW: 143 lbs | GW1: 130 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Dec 2 12:18:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h4m75/finally_getting_nexaplanon_removed/
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I’ve had Nexaplanon (arm implant birth control) for about 8 months and tried to see if it would settle out and be okay for me, but all it’s done is cause me to crave junk food like mad the week before my period (more so than normal PMS cravings), make me emotional, and cause never ending periods.
So happy to get this out! I’m waiting for the NP to come get this done with at the moment!
What are your birth control success/horror stories? Personal, my favorite that I’ve tried is Nuva ring.
[Rant/Rave] Sigh of relief, what is this? Lolol
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Sat Dec 2 12:04:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h4j24/sigh_of_relief_what_is_this_lolol/
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Massive thanksgiving binge week! Had been restricting heavily before. Weighed in today expecting be be like 115.
107.6! Sooo I ruined my progress and gained but I'm still in it, damage done, but thank goodness not over my CW on here and MFP!
[Rant/Rave] Why am I like this
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Dec 2 11:50:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h4fqi/why_am_i_like_this/
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[deleted]
[Help] I want to quit smoking but I’m afraid of the subsequent weight gain. What do?
/u/lenaxxbee
Created: Sat Dec 2 11:50:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h4fq8/i_want_to_quit_smoking_but_im_afraid_of_the/
---
So I’ve been smoking cigarettes regularly for about three years now. It wasn’t only an appetite control for me, it was also a stress reliever. I have a vape but it doesn’t shut down my appetite quite like cigarettes do, plus I love the taste of cigarettes and it’s hard to just replace it with the vape.
I want to quit really bad now but I’m so scared of gaining weight if I do. Has anyone ever quit while restricting successfully without gaining weight?
What should I do to keep my appetite down?
How long will it be before I get used to the change in appetite?
Should I ween down or just quit cold turkey?
In addition to appetite, how do I avoid stress eating while I’m going through withdrawal?
I can replace the nicotine with the vape, but honestly it’s really not the same and I still get cigarette cravings and that stresses me out.
[Rant/Rave] WORK ORDERS US DONUTS AND PIZZA
/u/megamorphaseez
Created: Sat Dec 2 11:48:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h4f4m/work_orders_us_donuts_and_pizza/
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I work in a call centre and lately the wait times have been really bad and we've been dealing with angry customers... it's been a nightmare and really stressful. I rely on my 10 hours shifts to keep me from food for 10 hours. I don't pack a lunch, I just bring maybe some kambocha and some crackers if I'm feeling faint. BUT LATELY our bosses have felt so bad that we are taking on so much extra stuff so they've been buying us donuts and ordering pizza and it's SO HARD to resist. But it empowers me being able to say no... however if one person says "WHATS WRONG??? WHY ARENT YOU EATING???" It's just ridiculous. I don't judge you for stuffing your face or however you may live... why judge me? Sorry just had to rant
[Discussion] Is anyone else pretty laxed with checking expiration dates because they may subconsciously be hoping for diarrhea
/u/letstryforkarma
Created: Sat Dec 2 11:36:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h4cg4/is_anyone_else_pretty_laxed_with_checking/
---
Pun intended
[Help] Bronkaid
/u/Four_Names [5'6"|CW 137|BMI 22.2| -33.9| F]
Created: Sat Dec 2 11:30:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h4b88/bronkaid/
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Hi all,
Where do you guys go for Bronkaid? How much is it, usually? I just turned 18, and the place I work had a pharmacy, but I'm wondering if it'd be worth the cost/hassle to dive in. As much as I love my caffeinated coffees and teas as appetite suppressants, it gets a little obnoxious having to piss like a race horse every twenty minutes.
Thank you!
Minor change to eating habit, gained two pounds.
/u/Kinglens311
Created: Sat Dec 2 11:20:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h48sc/minor_change_to_eating_habit_gained_two_pounds/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h44qy/minor_change_to_eating_habit_gained_two_pounds/?utm_source=ifttt
[Rant/Rave] fuuuuuuck. (a rant.)
/u/bmddx
Created: Sat Dec 2 11:03:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h44rz/fuuuuuuck_a_rant/
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i'm going out to eat with friends. the place only serves grilled cheese. i want to eat, but i am soooo fucking scared to because i know that i'll be so pissed at myself for the calorie intake being far above my standard 500. there's no aim or goal i'm hoping to achieve by posting this, but i needed to air it out. i'm probably going to indulge myself since it's been a while since i last have. i'm already so fucking frustrated. fuck. :-)
[Help] Minor change to eating habit, gained two pounds.
/u/Throwaway17898753 [5'11" | CW 187 | GW 175 | -90 | 34M]
Created: Sat Dec 2 11:03:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h44qy/minor_change_to_eating_habit_gained_two_pounds/
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I ate two cookies and a piece of Christmas parade candy in addition to my one huge salad I eat at the same time every day. Up 2 this morning. Please someone give me a plausible reason behind this and not that I'm gaining everything back? Minor freakout here.
[Other] Binge dreams??
/u/fluffyfinaland
Created: Sat Dec 2 10:49:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h41qs/binge_dreams/
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Do you guys ever have dreams that you're bingeing and wake up in a panic about all the calories you ate? I had a dream last night that I went to the store and bought myself a personal sized cake, a box of oatmeal creme pies, a giant kit kat (I don't even like kit kats??), and a huge bag of chips, and went out to my car and ate it all in the parking lot.
I was thinking in the dream how bad it was and how ashamed of myself I was and I didn't even want to log my calories because I knew it was at least 30,000 or something ridiculous. When I woke up I felt awful and disgusting until reality kicked in and I realized none of it had happened. What a way to wake up omg
[Rant/Rave] Quite drunk
/u/Jerrabella
Created: Sat Dec 2 10:48:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h41fw/quite_drunk/
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I’ve drank more than my cal in cider and I feel horrendous. V drunk and I want drunk food. Wtf is wrong with me. I’ve been under 800 for over a week. Why am I so weak.
[Discussion] Work christmas party woes...
/u/notathrowaway836
Created: Sat Dec 2 10:36:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h3yvh/work_christmas_party_woes/
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Christmas party tonight. Am nervous.
Bonus side: I just discovered cottage cheese. I made an AMAZING strawberry cheesecake milkshake with it- almost 20g proten for like a 240 cal shake.
Party strategies:
1. Have a shake right before I leave so I feel full and reasonable.
2. I’m the designated driver, so I won’t go nuts on sugary alcoholic drinks.
3. I’m a picky eater, so I doubt the mass hall food is going to be stuff I’m too crazy about anyways. I’ll eat as plain and simple as I can.
Anyone else have party crisis strategies???
Edit: sorry mod gods I forgot to flair!! Can you make it a discussion post?
[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend is clueless
/u/2017HeyJude [ 1.59m | CW 48.7kg/107lb | GW 45kg/99lb | BMI 19.2]
Created: Sat Dec 2 10:34:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h3yd0/boyfriend_is_clueless/
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Bless his soul, he has no idea about my struggles. This morning I was getting dressed and he said “well, you haven’t gain back any of the weight you lost last year” (I was sick for 2 month last year and lost a few kg, which triggered my new relapse this year oops).
And I wanted SO MUCH to answer “yep and I also lost another 6kg since this summer and my next GW is 3kg away” but I was able to stop myself and just shrug.
(It’s just a rant/rave, can’t flair on mobile sorry, I needed to vent about this because it’s cutr how naive and blind he is)
[Rant/Rave] I didn’t binge yesterday!!!!!
/u/althem22
Created: Sat Dec 2 10:23:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h3vz8/i_didnt_binge_yesterday/
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Oh my gosh. This fall has been HELL. Daily b/p, abusing laxatives to the point that I’m pretty sure my digestive system is totally fucked, feeling like shit and guilty all the time. UGH. Yesterday I didn’t binge AT ALL. I don’t know what happened, but something clicked in my head and I was like FUCK. THIS. I want to wake up feeling good about myself for once. I’m going to keep this fast going for probably 48 hours, maybe 72. I can feel a restricting period coming up, and I’m so proud of myself!! Broke a pretty fucked up cycle. Anyways nobody irl will understand how good I feel. Have a nice day!!
[Help] Therapist withholding OCD treatment unless I do ED treatment as well. [Help]
/u/carrots-carrots [5'6" | 113 lb | BMI 18.3 | FtM]
Created: Sat Dec 2 09:53:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h3p8l/therapist_withholding_ocd_treatment_unless_i_do/
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My therapist has straight-up said she and I can't see each other unless I'm willing to do the ED treatment plan, otherwise it wouldn't be ethical. My psychiatrist wrote me a prescription for OCD medication but also said she wants me to go back to psychotherapy and do ED treatment. I haven't pushed it but I'm pretty sure she won't give me more medication unless I do ED treatment, pretty much like my therapist said.
I really don't want recovery but, more importantly, I literally can't afford it time- or money-wise. They want me to go to multiple groups per week, see a nutritionist, etc., but I'm a grad student and make barely enough $$ to live on *before* medical expenses. I explained this to the team but they keep saying "ok, but this is really important." Ok, but that statement doesn't conjure money! The money literally doesn't exist! And there will be even less of it if I quit my job/school to get more time to go to therapy stuff!
I technically can't afford to see this therapist nor this psychiatrist -- my credit card is basically maxed now -- but I gave it a try because I've never addressed my OCD and I'm so curious to see if life would be better with medication. I just wish there were some way to try it out without all the ED recovery strings attached. I'm ok with eating regularly for the sake of keeping focused at school (I've done it for years, had the same BMI/weight all 2016+2017). I just can't do all the super intense recovery stuff.
If anyone has any ideas for how to move forward here, I'm all ears. :(
[Tip] Why do you guys bother with the 200-300 cals a day? Wouldn't it be easier to just not eat at all? Or switch to keto? [serious]
/u/FeelThatPeel
Created: Sat Dec 2 09:40:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h3mgu/why_do_you_guys_bother_with_the_200300_cals_a_day/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] holidays/end of year rant
/u/clittter [5'1.5" | cw 150 | gw 145 | ugw 100 | -20]
Created: Sat Dec 2 09:32:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h3kp4/holidaysend_of_year_rant/
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Can the holidays be over please? I don't know how to eat normal food without binging all the time. I just had my 30th birthday and have made plans to do multiple things with different people. Every time I start a fast I realize I don't have the time to myself to complete it. I don't know how to be around other people without drinking anymore because of severe anxiety so **any** social plans means I'm gonna drink (probably more than I need to) then binge for 2 days SEND HELP
I'm addicted
/u/gross9876 [-16 lb | nb]
Created: Sat Dec 2 09:24:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h3itc/im_addicted/
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Against my better judgement, I impulsively told people talking about their own eating disorders that I'm disordered as well. They told me to stop...
But I lost 7 pounds in a week. I went from overweight BMI to healthy BMI in a single week! This feeling is amazing.
[Rant/Rave] Binged 2 nights in a row. Up 6lbs. Fml.
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Sat Dec 2 08:47:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h3b4n/binged_2_nights_in_a_row_up_6lbs_fml/
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I was finally at my 2nd goal weight of 110 and doing SO good restricting and I don’t know what happened and I just got so weak.
I think it was ben and Jerry’s honestly cause otherwise I probably could have controlled the other urges.
The first night I rationalized that i needed it and it would only be one day and then I would fast atleast 60 hours. Then my friend wanted to out last night which lead to a beer, then pulled pork fries, then a pint of ben an Jerry’s, then ferrero rochers, then a cheese roll.
WTF.
I just want to go back to feeling empty and lean and good in everything and not a bloated whale.
I’m really hoping I can successfully fast today (yesterday I honestly would have been fine if I didn’t go out which makes me angry)
The weekends are my best time to fast cause all I do is work and usually don’t see anyone so i can go without eating. But I fucked up this weekend, and during the week I’m more obligated to eat cause of social obligations (not to mention I drink beer almost every night)
Guys I feel like crap and could really use some encouragement 😭
[Discussion] Clothing advice for a disordered mind? 🙏🏼
/u/thunderbirdandspice [5'10" | 136 | 19.5 | -10 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 2 08:32:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h385f/clothing_advice_for_a_disordered_mind/
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Okay so
My stats are a little off but I’m on mobile, I’ll change them ASAP! I’m 5’10” and probably an even 140 right now (at least that’s what my brain says, not sure if it’s 100% accurate).
I’m having problems figuring out what to wear that make me feel comfortable. Like, I can’t wear jeans cause I feel like a pregnant sausage. I don’t wear tight shirts, cause again, pregnant sausage. But baggy shirts make me look huge also?? So I’m pretty much stuck with leggings and a hoodie, the classic go to. I would like to be able to wear other things that make feel *okay* without accentuating my body type and stuff.
If anyone gets what I even mean, any advice at all would be helpful!
Love you guys <3
[Discussion] What are your opinions on alcohol while restricting?
/u/onlyroom_forthin [5'6.5 | CW:162.2 | SW:170 | UGW:115 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 2 08:16:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h3528/what_are_your_opinions_on_alcohol_while/
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I love alcohol. Like, I'm actually a closet alcoholic. It's always been a danger food for me because I have difficulty stopping drinking once I start, and drunk me is prone to binging.
HOWEVER, yesterday for probably the first time in my entire life, I got pretty drunk but religiously counted my drinks and didn't go over my calorie limit. I pushed it, which was disappointing, but I didn't go over and I didn't eat anything when I got home.
Do you guys drink when restricting, and do you drink to getting drunk or more like one glass of wine a night?
[Discussion] December 3rd, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 2 07:30:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h2whn/december_3rd_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What details from today would you like to remember?
[Intro] Hi, intro
/u/pm_me_ur_eyeholez
Created: Sat Dec 2 07:17:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h2u6c/hi_intro/
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Hi, I've been commenting lately and I haven't been a part of this community before so I figured I should formally say hello and introduce myself.
I'm 26 and a young professional. I just finished grad school and I'm licensed in my field. I work a ton and live with my SO.
I'm also relapsing. As a kid I had a lot of trauma - abuse of various forms, deaths, bullying, etc and I took to BED. By the summer after my first year of college I was 230ish pounds and said fuck it to being fat. It was almost like flipping a switch. By that November I was restricting and purging via exercise. Fast forward two years and I'm in treatment, having lost over 100 pounds and miserable. I was hospitalized after a suicide attempt and took treatment seriously. Meds, plus the stress of grad school relapsed my BED. I think i got back up to 250, but I'm not sure exactly because I literally didn't weigh myself for four years while I was "recovering."
I knew I was fat, but I wasn't as miserable as I was at my LW, but I did want to lose weight. I tried so hard to do this the right and healthy way, starting last March with moderate exercise and portion control. The change was painfully slow, but there. I was making good progress and lost two dress sizes in a year and a half. Then, recently, I went to the doctor and the nurse shouted my weight {I usually ask for them to keep it from me, and weigh blind} I was 227. That moment I felt the relapse. Other things indicated to me that it was coming, but hearing that number made it real.
I've lost 8 pounds since then and I'm giving into my ED. I am so tired of being fat and bingeing and having people look at my crazy when I tell them how much I work out. They have to be wondering how much I eat afterward to stay this fat. Now I'm purging via exercise again and restricting when I can't work out. A part of me keeps saying, get to your UGW, then go to treatment on your works dollar, and never make the mistake of gaining again. My profession is very shallow in some ways and I'm often the fattest woman in the room. I don't care if my thought process is fucked for now.
Anyway, that's all a long way of saying hi. Special shout out to the "older" women here and those relapsing. Excited to be a part of this welcoming community until I'm ready for treatment again.
[Rant/Rave] I now fit a XS/S at Gucci!!!
/u/thinsponeeded [5'6" | 113 | -17 | GW: 108 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 2 07:08:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h2srh/i_now_fit_a_xss_at_gucci/
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Okay, so last time I went into a big brand store like this (coughArmanicough), I wanted to just see what a few of the clothing items looked like on. I'd never worn something that expensive before. But...the skirt I wanted to try was too small, and it was the largest they had. The top I had matched with it also didn't fit and it was just so unflattering; I felt supremely embarrassed and though the clerks never said anything, I felt they must have been thinking that I didn't have the body to wear their clothes. I never wanted to try on expensive clothing again.
Today, I decided to go into Gucci, because I wanted to check out their handbags. Since they've rebranded, I've actually started to enjoy looking at their products and while the embroidery work is a bit much, it's still gorgeous. I really just meant to be in and out in five minutes, but ended up staying longer. I finally came across two shirts that I wouldn't have identified as my style, but I loved the color. I sucked it up and tried them on just because, AND THEY ACTUALLY FIT. I fit both the ones they had out on display (size 38s) and while one shirt would have fit better in the next size up, it was really because of my height and breadth of my shoulders, not because of my weight. The smallest size they even have is 36. I was just ecstatic.
While I'll never be able to afford the clothes, I nowat least feel I could belong in them? As in, they aren't so foreign that body can't suit them.
So yeah, even though I managed to binge horrifically today, this was such a big win for me that I think it actually made my binge worse...
[Other] Remnants of a Binge. Sorry Clif, the only adventure you're feeding is my Eating Disorder...
/u/yesyeshihello [157cm | BMI: 17.4 | 27F]
Created: Sat Dec 2 06:40:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h2o54/remnants_of_a_binge_sorry_clif_the_only_adventure/
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https://i.redd.it/1j4hgmgxii101.jpg
How To Cure Erectile Dysfunction - 1 Weird Trick on How To Cure Erectile...
/u/TesteroneBooster
Created: Sat Dec 2 06:26:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h2m3v/how_to_cure_erectile_dysfunction_1_weird_trick_on/
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https://www.youtube.com/attribution_link?a=IeT-rr6IVKE&u=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D_StkeSj_x1g%26feature%3Dshare
[Discussion] Weekend mental challenge
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Sat Dec 2 05:58:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h2hvq/weekend_mental_challenge/
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Sooo...my attempt to be normal this week on vacation has been less than successful because I’m still restricting and literally did 12 hours of exercise yesterday though I’ve 1) not fasted which was the plan until the weekend 2) I’ve eaten 3x how much I usually do on high restriction days. With 2 days remaining I think I’m able to just dive in as fear of damage in 2 days vs 11 days is much lower. I usually wake up at midnight Saturday to do cardio so I can rest in the afternoon but today I woke up at my usual time and for the first time in longer than I can literally remember I did not exercise. I made an awesome cup of Trader Joe’s apple spice tea and played with my dogs. I’m now on the couch watching housewives and chilling. The goal this weekend to really push myself is to put the food scale away, stay sedentary and be an indulgent lump on the couch and just let myself eat when hungry and cook without stressing measuring everything. I love cooking and honestly tracking isn’t that onerous but it does remove some joy of the process of cooking. Not knowing how much I’m eating will likely freak me out but it also means I can’t estimate potential gain. I usually do IF but I’m actually hungry so feel I should embrace and eat! I’m so not ready for recovery but hoping that mini exposures like this will help me get closer. Anyone else ditch the food scale either permanently or temporarily?
Also huge thanks to this place. I’ve had an ED for a long time but it’s only the past year I’ve realized just how much people cannot understand because I never used to open up, now I do and regret it every time.
[Discussion] What times of the day do you typically like to eat at?
/u/pedaling-backwards [5'2 | 107 | 20F]
Created: Sat Dec 2 05:33:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h2ebk/what_times_of_the_day_do_you_typically_like_to/
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For whatever reason, anytime I eat anything before 9 AM my brain is like, “Are you *sure* about this, this is a binge trigger waiting to happen” or anytime I eat really late at night I’m like “wow I’m really wasting these calories right now”
I found on my most successful restricting days I’d start my first meal around 10AM, and eat my “dinner” at around 2 PM, 4 PM at the latest. It seems like a lot of us set eating timeframes for ourselves, which is funny considering it reaally doesn’t matter in retrospect since a day still has the same amount of hours in it either way 🤔
What times do you like to eat at?
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! December 02, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Dec 2 05:11:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h2bkb/stupid_questions_saturday_december_02_2017/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for December 02, 2017.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! December 02, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Dec 2 05:09:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h2be4/daily_food_diary_december_02_2017/
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This is a daily food diary thread for December 02, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] I feel depressed and numb. Life is so bleak
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sat Dec 2 04:39:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h27k1/i_feel_depressed_and_numb_life_is_so_bleak/
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On mobile flair as rant rave or whatever no one is going to read this.
My outlook was a little bit more positive at the beginning of November. I was going to move and live with my partner and now they are saying they need space and could reconsider which would undo all the planning I've done for months.
My stuff is boxed up. I bought a one way plane ticket for January I can't get a refund on. I was starting to try and accept myself or think maybe I could try recovering or making peace. When I was with my partner earlier in November I ate sort of intuitively. Slow. Graceful. I stopped when I was full. The day I left I was sad and binged and purged a bunch at the airport. I was so close...
Now I feel hopeless. That was my future and now I don't even want a future. I have no desire to eat. I have n appetite. The sadness and lethargy are overwhelming. I need to take benadryl or sleeping pills just to sleep. I managed a ridiculous range of either not sleeping, sleeping 4 hours or 16 hours. I'm falling apart.
My family is trying to be festive and all I can think is. If I strung the Xmas lights up in a noose would they support my weight before breaking. I literally spent hours on Google trying to figure out how to for sure kill myself if I don't know what my future is by my dad on the 23rd.
I'm so indifferent to living if it can't be with my partner. We have been together 5 years and now they are scared of living together or my baggage. I just don't know what to do. I just want them to tell me what to do so I can either plan on living or plan my death and be done. If I can't live with them I don't want to live at all.
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] I know I'm not the only one here triggered by the recent sexual abuse stories in the news *TW*
/u/HistrionicSlut
Created: Sat Dec 2 03:11:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h1xbd/i_know_im_not_the_only_one_here_triggered_by_the/
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My eating disorder started as a child. I was sexually abused and I remember my abuser telling me how pretty I was. In my mind at 5-6, the abuse would stop if I wasn't pretty, and fat people aren't pretty so I wanted to be fat. I stuffed myself full and have been on a roller coaster of binge eating, bulimia and anorexia ever since.
As soon as I start to feel a man's gaze on my body when I go out, or start getting asked for my number, I gain weight. This happens at weird times too. I don't *always* hate male attention. I like sex and I go to fetish parties and love it, but when I feel like most men find me attractive I shut down. I sort of only like dudes that like fat girls? None of it makes sense. I'm rambling and I'm sorry.
Does anyone else experience this or something similar? I've also fluctuated between wanting to look like a boy so men don't want me either. But I'm bisexual so I still like men and it all makes no sense.
This stuff in the media has triggered me hard and I've been on a huge cut so I can look like a boy. I literally can't bring myself to eat most days, I put the food in my mouth and spit it out. I don't even like the taste.
(On mobile can't flair, please flair accordingly wonderful mod team 💋)
Day 2 of a 30 Day Water Fast
/u/letslosethirty_
Created: Sat Dec 2 03:05:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h1wo1/day_2_of_a_30_day_water_fast/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend dumped me yesterday
/u/Thegreatdinosaur
Created: Sat Dec 2 02:22:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h1rsx/boyfriend_dumped_me_yesterday/
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Hello everyone, I’ve been lurking on this sub since June this year, but I’ve never had the courage to post anything. But here I am, because I don’t know how to continue with life, because it just happened so quick.
Background: I have borderline and visual hallucinations and depression, and of course, an eating disorder(bulimia mostly) I’ve lost 10kg this summer from relapsing into bulimia.
My ex was very supportive, caring, and simply amazing. We’re in the middle of moving houses because the lease is up, and all of our stuff is packed together in different boxes, but he dumped me yesterday. He said he is tired of living with me and taking care of me, and just needs space for himself. I understand how he feels, but it just hurts so much, because it’s just so sudden.
He called my parents the day before yesterday to tell them about his plan. He then called my school counsellor on the next day to inform her that he was going to break up with me in a public place with someone present, yesterday evening. I had no idea until about lunch time yesterday, when my father called me to tell about the breakup that was going to happen in the evening, because he thought it would be too cruel for me to bear.
I called my ex immediately and told him not to bother to meet me in the evening, and that my father called me about his plans. He then called my father and screamed, shouted, and swore at him, then he broke it off with me at the councillors’ office.
I am now living in a temporary accommodation on campus and I don’t know how to continue living. He was my only hope in life. I know that this is not the right sub to post this, but you guys have been a great support to me all these months since I relapsed into my horrible relationship with food.
Thanks for reading my vent.
Oh, and I’m on mobile. Can someone flair this for me..?
[Help] [TW] I really fucking love chocolate?? Help
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Dec 2 00:26:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h1dc8/tw_i_really_fucking_love_chocolate_help/
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[deleted]
What bmi is considered slim?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 1 23:12:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h12mn/what_bmi_is_considered_slim/
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[deleted]
[Help] So like how does body-image therapy work anyway
/u/dbt-girl [5'2" | 119 ]
Created: Fri Dec 1 22:49:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h0z7b/so_like_how_does_bodyimage_therapy_work_anyway/
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I don’t feel like posting this in r/TalkTherapy because I feel a little more safe here in my ridiculousness.
I have this problem.
I can’t stand living this way, but same time I don’t really want help. I don’t want to gain weight. First off, I don’t even need to. My BMI is like 21.
Yet here I am, in Arizona, on my last evening of vacation, crying alone in the bedroom because he took me out to a steak dinner and I ate too much and there are too many mirrors in the house and I just hate myself and I know he can’t make it better for me. And I haven’t been able to purge because there’s no private place to do it and I honestly don’t think the pipes here can handle it.
That’s the worst part, maybe.
I know a good therapist won’t focus on convincing me I’m not fat. When a client says, “I feel fat,” a good therapist won’t focus on appearance, but rather the driving force behind the statement.
But still. My T and I had a good session on self-image awhile back, and suddenly I felt free - for about three days - to eat what I wanted. Then I freaked out.
And now I’m on day three of vacation and just melting down about the food I’ve consumed while in AZ and how hard it will ever be to get back to the weight I was last year.
Wtf help. How can therapy be meaningful for me?
[Discussion] What are your favorite low calorie snacks/foods you like to eat?
/u/acidicneedle_
Created: Fri Dec 1 22:34:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h0wvp/what_are_your_favorite_low_calorie_snacksfoods/
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I happen to love Tofu Shirataki noodles and Miracle Noodles! Would love to hear what you guys like to have- maybe even foods that also fill you up that are also low calorie :)
[Help] Am I ever gonna have a normal relationship with food? Did anyone here ever master the art of intuitive eating?
/u/Bloppitt [5'2 | CW 134 | BMI ??| -30 lbs | 23F]
Created: Fri Dec 1 21:54:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h0qkd/am_i_ever_gonna_have_a_normal_relationship_with/
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Cause Intuitive Eating seems LITERALLY impossible. Seriously. I don't know how someone can take involuntary inventory of how many calories their body has had when they've had a history of ED. It seems like a fake dream. Like saying you're gonna win the lottery.
I don't know how to stop eating when I'm hungry because I am so depressed I'm never physically hungry.
I don't know how to say "no" to food cause years of restriction and extreme weight loss made me long to eat with friends and have people watch me eat. A "I am one of you!" experience.
I have hanging skin from being obese as a kid so even if I DO make my goal weight again, there's no point.
Been a while since we’ve had a Peach thread
/u/ssfbgm
Created: Fri Dec 1 21:19:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h0kqu/been_a_while_since_weve_had_a_peach_thread/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Have your kids ever questioned your eating habits?
/u/unpollutedfantasy [🥒]
Created: Fri Dec 1 20:38:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h0dsk/have_your_kids_ever_questioned_your_eating_habits/
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To those of you who are parents what has that experience been like?
Do they know? Do they ask questions?
[Rant/Rave] Christina Ricci
/u/gettingagrip4 [5'3" | Baby Hippo | 22 | -70 | 31F]
Created: Fri Dec 1 20:34:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h0d0g/christina_ricci/
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[removed]
[Help] Advice on avoiding midnight snacking?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 1 19:37:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h02yw/advice_on_avoiding_midnight_snacking/
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My boyfriend has a habit of eating most of his calories in junk food before bed and a lot of the time, I'll get pulled into it, too. We both keep saying we're going to break the nighttime binging cycle but we never seem to actually do it. Does anyone have advice on overcoming the urge to snack at night/dealing with partners who eat a lot more than you do?
[Rant/Rave] I know better. So why am I doing this all over again?
/u/oneblueboot [5'8" | CW 135 lbs | GW 120 | 20.5 | 26 F]
Created: Fri Dec 1 19:33:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7h027b/i_know_better_so_why_am_i_doing_this_all_over/
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New to this subreddit, but this is my second go around with disordered eating. I cycled through compulsive restriction and binging for about a year and a half when I was fourteen, and for some reason it's come back harder and stronger more than ten years later.
I'm a grown woman. I'm studying medicine for christ's sake. I understand the risks and morbidities I'm inviting - metabolic abnormalities, loss of bone density, heart damage, liver damage, tooth damage, electrolyte imbalances, long-lasting digestive problems, permanent neurological rewirings, the list goes on from there. But here I am anyway.
It's not even about the weight this time. My CW on my flair is from when I weighed myself almost five days ago, and I know it must be different now since I've stayed religiously under 800 cal/day, but I don't really care about the scale. Only about denying myself food, just for the sake of it. Just to prove to myself that I can, and when I don't feel horribly sick, when I don't pass out after a ballet class or a weightlifting session, it only reinforces that idea that this is all I need, that anything more is an indulgence I don't deserve.
I don't hate the weight. I don't hate my reflection. And for those small mercies, I suppose I should be incredibly grateful. But I hate myself when I eat, I hate myself when I don't eat, I hate myself for feeling weak and dizzy when I dance and I hate myself when I manage to eat enough so that I feel okay.
Starving for the sake of starving. Hating myself because I'm right here to hate. I don't know if there's enough knowledge in the world that can help me out of it this time.
[Help] Ideas for any good movies to watch as thinspo?
/u/onlyroom_forthin [5'6.5 | CW:162.2 | SW:170 | UGW:115 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 1 19:19:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gzzm9/ideas_for_any_good_movies_to_watch_as_thinspo/
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I find movies as thinspo more inspirational than just images. I watch a lot of Friends, and the girls are AMAZING thinspo to me, especially in early seasons. I wanna have movie night tonight, any recommendations? I'm feeling some romance or drama movies, basically any movie with pretty, thin women in beautiful clothes/costume.
[Rant/Rave] Starting a fast because I don't deserve to eat
/u/SvelteDreams [5'5" | CW 121.4lbs | GW 103lbs | 21F]
Created: Fri Dec 1 19:04:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gzwq5/starting_a_fast_because_i_dont_deserve_to_eat/
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I wasn't planning on this. I've never done a fast intentionally counting it. It always just happens. But I feel like I need to punish myself, or hurt myself and I can't bring myself to self harm which is probably for the best.
I have increasingly severe social anxiety to the point where I feel like I'm trapped within my body and can't communicate to other people 80% of the time. It's really gotten me down the past day or two. I told my best friend that I was feeling blue and he walked with me yesterday. I told him again today and he chose eating (free) wings over helping me. Which is just great. Like I know I'm not his responsibility and all and he offered to hang out afterword but the fact that he chose eating wings over me just reinforces my already non existent self esteem.
And so since I'm worth nothing I just don't think I deserve to eat. Not for a little while. Until I start feeling better. I ate last at one, so I guess I'm 5 hours in. Think I'll go for just 24 hours this time, but if that goes alright I might just go for the whole weekend. We will see.
I'm sorry I've posted so much in this subreddit recently, it's just the most supportive community I have right now and I really appreciate all of you guys so much.
[Rant/Rave] Took a group photo today
/u/321Model [5'4| CW: 190 | GW: 150 | 30's/F]
Created: Fri Dec 1 18:36:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gzrh3/took_a_group_photo_today/
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I've been avoiding taking photos for years because I don't want to remember myself opposite from the way I feel or aspire to be.
I didn't want to, but my boss nudged me so I took part in a photo at our office Christmas party. It was one of those photo booth set ups with props.
OMG. I had no idea I looked that fat. Body dysmorphia is real, y'all. I mean, damn, I knew I was fat but not THAT fat. :( I have so much more to lose than I thought. I hate my chest the most. I'm going to have to do some lifting to get them down. Ugh. I wish I had started sooner.
My boss ended up using props that covered their whole face. Shit! I should've thought of that. Lol.
[Rant/Rave] [rant] IOP for *me*? what the shit?
/u/apricaught [5'3"| CW 129 | GW1 115 | GW2 111 | GW3 107 | 21F]
Created: Fri Dec 1 18:20:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gzoc0/rant_iop_for_me_what_the_shit/
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So my therapist wants me to go to IOP. What the fuck? I'm literally GAINING weight, I don't throw up, I don't *overexercise*, I've never even been close to underweight, it's just that thinking about food takes up the entirety of my day and most of my decisions are influenced by the desire to lose and restricting-bingeing cycles are fucking me up but WHAT. How is that enough? I won't pretend it doesn't put me through significant mental anguish, but I don't know how I feel about being around girls that are ACTUALLY sick. How am I going to get any better watching a bunch of skinny girls pick around their food with tiny tiny bites? How do I explain this to my parents?
I'm not even that opposed--I'm too confused to want or not want it. Anyone ever been to IOP without exhibiting most of the typical problem ED behaviors?
[Discussion] Breath mints: looking for recommendations
/u/TSputnik [5'3" | CW 129 | HW 210 | UGW 100]
Created: Fri Dec 1 17:20:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gzc5b/breath_mints_looking_for_recommendations/
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I've been chewing gum a lot to avoid binging lately, but I can't chew gum at work so I'm looking for mints, specifically ones that are hard to chew.
I love tic tacs and the like, but I have a bad habit of biting them and going through them super fast. So if anyone knows of harder mints please let me know!
[Discussion] Anyone else on Effexor XR?
/u/ribcage666 [5'8.5" | bmi 21.2 | -62 lbs | F 🌿]
Created: Fri Dec 1 17:06:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gz903/anyone_else_on_effexor_xr/
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It totally kills my apetite and I can't pretend I'm not happy about it...(it also makes me super euphoric and feel mildly high when I first take it, I described it to a friend as "baby vyvanse"...)
Anyone else? I was skeptical about this med but am feeling good about it so far.
[Rant/Rave] "You weigh THAT much?!"
/u/sp_ceghost [5'7F | 129.6 | UGW 105 | -35lbs]
Created: Fri Dec 1 16:47:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gz4mo/you_weigh_that_much/
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I visited my doc recently and during our routine check-in, he asked me how much I weigh. When I told him, he said "you weigh *that* much?!"
Uh.
Yeah.
He didn't follow it up with anything more than a few guttural, subconscious "I'm-processing-information" noises. I'm not sure if he meant that I look smaller than I weigh (people tend to tell me this), but I definitely took it as "wow, that's a big number" either way.
It really messed me up.
[Other] Fasting update
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 | CW 145 | 24.1| -10lb| F]
Created: Fri Dec 1 16:42:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gz3mz/fasting_update/
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[removed]
[Other] I hit underweight today and I feel nothing
/u/Dietfuckingcoke [5'4'' | CW 108 lbs | BMI 18.5 | GW 105 lbs | 24F]
Created: Fri Dec 1 15:37:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gyoyg/i_hit_underweight_today_and_i_feel_nothing/
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I've been normal, overweight and even reached obese when I was 18. Now I'm 24 and I'm underweight for the first time. I don't know what I expected to feel but it didn't make any difference and I've just moved the goal lower. I think I look gross this skinny but also want to lose more and constantly pinch my fat? Oh well :/
[Rant/Rave] Well, I fixed my scale...
/u/onlyroom_forthin [5'6.5 | CW:162.2 | SW:170 | UGW:115 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 1 15:35:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gyodm/well_i_fixed_my_scale/
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...and my weight is NOT over my previous high weight, so I'm going to call it a win! I'm embarrassed by the number, but I feel like I need some accountability soooo...I currently weigh 168.2lbs (this was fully dressed, sweatshirt and jeans, in the middle of the day). I'm hoping when I weigh myself in the morning, naked, before eating, it'll be closer to 165. My goal is 115. I think it's reasonable to try to make it in 6 months. I'd like to push it faster but I don't want to set myself up for failure.
6 months is so far away, but if I can do that then I'll be skinny for grad school graduation, for my hopeful European adventure before I start work, and for the whole summer. It seems like a ideal transition time, I'll be moving into a whole new part of my life so it seems kind of perfect that I'm hoping to have my new body by then. We'll see. I'm hopeful, I just had 3 800 days in a row even though I'm only aiming for 1200 right now, so I hope I can really keep this up and not let off days derail me.
[Rant/Rave] The mirror or my eyes? One of them is lying.
/u/thedarkleopard [5'3'' | CW: 129 | SW: 144 | 22.85 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 1 15:27:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gymod/the_mirror_or_my_eyes_one_of_them_is_lying/
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I got home and went to the bathroom and when looking at myself said eh I look alright. Never great but you know, passable. But then I decided to take a picture to document a time I felt good about the way I looked and boom. The face in the picture was begging me to stop eating, it looked so fat. My face looks like a round blob.
I walked past my grandmother in shorts today and she said, "Wow.... those are TIGHT!" with her eyebrows raised. She said it in her teasing voice and I don't think she thought it'd be a big deal. But I had to turn away and blink back tears the embarrassment and shame came so suddenly. I thought I looked good this morning. I didn't have time to change so all I could think about today was wondering how many people behind me also thought I was squeezing myself into these stupid shorts. They were loose on me 3 years ago. Why can't I find the motivation/effective reality check to make me reach that place again?
:( ughhhhh I wish I had more strength. I think about how huge I am CONSTANTLY. But it doesn't stop me from spending money on fatty snacks or turning down calorie-laden freebies from friends. What do I doooo?
[Rant/Rave] Birthday...
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 60.9 kg | BMI: 22.6 | -22.6 kg | 21F]
Created: Fri Dec 1 15:25:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gym1m/birthday/
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So... this us not really about my ED but I really need to vent..
Today is my birthday and I was really in a panic about food and all the last few days but it turns out: it's alright. I ate way too much but so far I don't feel guilty. I leave feeling aweful for tomorrow (I'm gonna fast tomorrow anyway) and enjoy feeling ok now!
I actually had a lot of fun going out. My family, one very good friend and I went to our local christmas market and drank some hot wine (mine non alcohol since I drove) and ate some typical christmas market foods. So that went well at least.
Now, why a rant?
Two people I considered friends totally forgot about me.
Ok, technically just one because the other just sent a "happy birthday" ?...(45 minutes before the deadline?!).
And well the other didn't contact me at all. The one that already forgot about me once (see other rant).
I didn't even really expect anything but it still hurts a little knowing how unimportant I am to some people. I'll see tomorrow if she really totally forgot because I invited her out to play bowling with me...I'm at the point where I hope that she won't show up so that I have a good reason to be pissed at her and feel bad enough to restrict more easily.
Luckily I have some awesome friends that thought about me, love me and think about me as an important part of their life. Not the 2 mentioned ones obviously!
How was your first of December? Hope you had a great fresh start! And if you didn't: December just started, you can do it <3 😄
[Other] Hit a low weight, just binged
/u/daisyhands
Created: Fri Dec 1 15:24:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gylxh/hit_a_low_weight_just_binged/
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nothing else to say really. so sad, disappointed and angry with myself :((
[Help] Help?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 1 15:03:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gygtw/help/
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[deleted]
[Help] Guys what is peach?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 1 15:02:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gygqa/guys_what_is_peach/
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[deleted]
[Other] A poem ❤️
/u/oxygens_overrated [5'4|HW:150|CW:147|LW:113|GW:125 |F| ]
Created: Fri Dec 1 14:58:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gyfp0/a_poem/
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Dipped in sugar, doused with salt
A mix-matched girl who’s life came to a halt
A patchwork body with button eyes
With a shameful secret and growing thighs
As short as a mouse and thick as a stump
Her cotton body filled with lumps
Yet not a piece of food has crossed her lips
Still her fabric stretches around her hips
There she sits alone on the shelf
For little girls don’t like dolls like herself
She’s tried everything, there’s nothing to
say
I guess the toymaker just made her that way.
[Discussion] What medications do you take, and what for?
/u/lushelocution
Created: Fri Dec 1 14:51:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gydv8/what_medications_do_you_take_and_what_for/
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I've never been on medication myself, so I know nothing about it.
I'm honestly just curious because I'm wondering if there are common co-morbidities and/or common treatments used for eating disorders...?
If anyone has personal experiences they'd like to share, I would love to know.
It's been a while. I'm still no better. I miss this place.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Fri Dec 1 14:29:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gy8hc/its_been_a_while_im_still_no_better_i_miss_this/
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On mobile flair as rant rave
So I used to post more often and frequently but life has been really hectic. I got fired from my job. I had a few weeks of binging and excessive spending on food and clothes. My partner is having second thoughts about me moving to D.C. to live with them. So that is the too long didn't read. I am back lurking here and maybe posting.
I thought I was doing really well at my job but I guess I wasn't. I upset the wrong person and was kicked to the curb like garbage. I tended to get moody but I was a hard worker. I trained people. Was friend and offered to do things others wouldn't and closed almost every night some times being there til passed 10 or 11 when the restaurant closes at 9.
I don't really have a social circle outside of my partner because I don't get out much. It's also a Hallmark of being in Seattle people always say the want to hang out but it's usually just to be polite.
I got really depressed after being fired or let go. It was two days before Halloween. It's been about a month. I have ordered a lot of delivery food and only been to the gym a time or two. Some days ordering uber eats or something two to three times in a day or just having ridiculous binges. I always felt sick after. I purged a couple times. But still feel larger.
I feel a little smaller but the scale says I'm bigger according to two different scales. I'm convinced my body doesn't know what to do what food or water. I can fit into a couple smaller sizes but it's not enough.
My partner hasn't talked to me much in the last week because they say they need space. We've been together 5 years and were going to move in together but they said they have a lot on their mind and need space. They are visiting from the 20th of December to the 27th and maybe going to see me on my birthday which is the 23rd.
They said they don't want to be my lifeboat or carry the weight on their shoulders. Weight. Kind of triggering to hear. I know it's not physical weight they are talking about but it's all I can think about.
I don't think I can eat. I can barely afford food because I'm planning to be able to move if I can. I want them to change their mind. I planned on moving for the last year because we have been apart and they are the only person I care about.
My dad has been having an affair for at least 3 years now and my mom was recently diagnosed with cancer that might be caught early enough. I just want to be out of here. I have convinced myself I don't move I'm just going to end my life or run away. Get rid of everything and buy a one way plain ticket and be homeless until I die on the street. It's kind of exaggerates I guess but maybe I'm just not thinking clearly.
So that is where I am. I can't really eat cause I don't feel worthy and I feel like I have to save money. I've spent like 700 or 800 dollars in delivery the last month. I bought a bunch of frozen veggies and small microwave meals to have If I need to eat for appearances but I am not allowing my self to buy anymore food.
I feel really down and hopeless I just want my partner to accept me and for us to keep going. They signed a lease on an apartment and got a kitten and I was going to move in and now they are getting cold feet and I'm scared. I'm really scared. It's really impacting my life. I impulse bought shapeless to make me feel uncomfortable all the time and not look like a total fatass. They are tight and I feel smaller but it's just a lie. I'm lying to myself. I deserve to be alone. I am a failure.
Willow.
[Discussion] I just wanted to say...
/u/vondahl [5’6 | cw: 115 | gw: 105 | 25F]
Created: Fri Dec 1 14:21:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gy6iq/i_just_wanted_to_say/
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..that I love this sub and all of you lovely people! I never thought I’d find a place where I can openly talk about numbers and goals and struggles with so many kind and supportive individuals. Y’all are the best and I hope you all are well today and have a happy friday ♡♡♡
[Discussion] If you could cherry pick any and all body parts to cobble together into your ideal person, what and who would they be?
/u/CaptainBundiePants
Created: Fri Dec 1 14:18:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gy5w5/if_you_could_cherry_pick_any_and_all_body_parts/
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Be as detailed or as broad as you like :) I’d have a think a bit more on this myself, but my #1 thing would be Alexis Ren’s waist. <3
[Rant/Rave] Fucking hot chocolate
/u/daintydaisydoll [5'1.5 / CW:105 / BMI: 20.3 / GW: 85]
Created: Fri Dec 1 13:59:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gy0vc/fucking_hot_chocolate/
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I feel like a fuck up. Since Monday I've been eating far too much and now my own fucking gluttony has resulted in a hot chocolate stain on the carpet. I feel so bad and I know the spill isn't entirely my fault but I can tell my boyfriend is upset even though he isn't saying so. I just feel like if I was this perfect girl who didn't let food get the best of her there would be no spilt drinks and accidents wouldn't happen and no one would ever be upset.
[Other] I ordered leggings from Aritzia online... in a size small.
/u/itsalwaysthesaame [167cm | CW 60kg | GW 54kg]
Created: Fri Dec 1 13:50:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gxyrh/i_ordered_leggings_from_aritzia_online_in_a_size/
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I haven't tried them on yet or anything. Apparently they might take a while to ship (read: months). I have NO idea if they're going to fit...
But it was a good price and the sizing chart gave me a little confidence. I'm guessing I'm somewhere between a 4 and a 6. I routinely fit into XS clothing but that's just vanity sizing in action. Plus I prefer loose or stretchy fits.
I don't even know what the point of this post is. I'm going to forget I ever ordered it, and when I finally receive it, it's either going to make me feel really great about myself, or I'm gonna feel like shit and start fasting.
Fingers crossed it's the former!
[Goal] I don’t get low calorie warnings from MFP when I set custom goals
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Fri Dec 1 13:48:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gxy6d/i_dont_get_low_calorie_warnings_from_mfp_when_i/
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I’ve always set custom goals in my fitness pal with really low numbers and I’ve never gotten any of the warning messages I’ve heard some of you here mentioning. Just wanted to share :)
Please flag as tip, I’m on mobile
[Other] I actually hit perfect macros goals yesterday in MFP at only 1080 calories!! First time ever and feeling somewhat proud.
/u/pushatMD
Created: Fri Dec 1 13:12:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gxp5t/i_actually_hit_perfect_macros_goals_yesterday_in/
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https://i.redd.it/62aj11b2cd101.jpg
[Rant/Rave] A little over 60hrs into my fast and currently at my lowest weight 👐👐👐
/u/CassTheUltimateBA [5'10 | 135.9 | 19.5 | 85 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 1 13:06:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gxndv/a_little_over_60hrs_into_my_fast_and_currently_at/
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Last thing I ate was a huuuuge binge at midnight-ish on Tuesday. I’ve been allowing myself up to 2tbsp of honey, although yesterday I only had a 1, and a small bit of fruit. Monday I got an apple, and last night was a couple grapes and 5 little cubes of watermelon.
I’m 135.5!!! Lowest ever!! Now I forsure don’t wanna break my fast! TMI I can feel my self getting “backed up”, gonna start EC stacking again today and load up on caffeine to help the hunger. It honestly isn’t as hard as I thought it would be. After day 1 it got so much more easy.
Before the fast I was like 142? But I had been slacking in my cals all last week.
[Other] I got cryolipolysis secretly
/u/bashytr0n
Created: Fri Dec 1 13:02:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gxmfk/i_got_cryolipolysis_secretly/
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I havent told anyone and i was too ashamed to tell my partner because i thought he would judge me for being vain and lazy.
Everyone knows you cant spot target stubborn genetic fat areas just with excersize, and after a year at the gym i just got bigger, heavier, hungrier and more depressed.
He kept asking me what the bruises on my thighs were and i lied and said they were from work. I dont think he believed me but he dropped it so whatever. I want it on my arms now but i am unsure if its worth it.
Has anyone else had it?
[Help] Stupid question about TDEE calculations...
/u/questions_anonymous
Created: Fri Dec 1 12:49:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gxj6b/stupid_question_about_tdee_calculations/
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So if you calculate it at an activity level above sedentary, is it just taking into account strictly your increased activity, or is it also taking into account your body composition? Because generally people who are active have more muscle, which burns more calories even at rest than does fat, so they'd have higher energy expenditures, right? I'm curious because I always calculate it at sedentary, then add exercise to my LoseIt! (though I don't eat back calories, I just like keeping track of my activity levels too), so is that less accurate since I have more muscle and less fat than an inactive person? Hopefully I'm making some sense here...
[Help] I never binge. Ever. But right now I feel the strongest compulsion to eat an entire bag of tortilla chips with some salsa.
/u/HufflePuffPrid3
Created: Fri Dec 1 12:46:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gxigq/i_never_binge_ever_but_right_now_i_feel_the/
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I can't even.
Even a serving won't fit in my day's worth of calories :(
AHHH
[Rant/Rave] Rant I guess? My sister dismisses my body issues
/u/fluffyfinaland
Created: Fri Dec 1 12:41:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gxh3l/rant_i_guess_my_sister_dismisses_my_body_issues/
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I guess this is a rant but idk. I just need to vent.
So my sister is bigger than me by idk maybe 50 pounds or so? And a couple inches taller. She has pretty bad body issues and has lost the weight a few times by doing intense gym stuff (programs like Farrell's) but keeps gaining it back. She's really stressed out about her weight and obviously I totally feel for her.
The problem is is that whenever I say something about MY body issues, she completely dismisses it and is like okay well you're not fat, you're not chunky, you're skinny, what do you have to be worried about, you don't understand, etc... or will just straight up be like no don't talk to me about your body issues or being fat cause I'm way bigger than you. I may be smaller than her, but definitely not skinny (5'6" and at weigh in this morning was 155.6lb).
I feel guilty ever saying anything about my issues to her because I don't want to make her feel bad about herself, but why can't I vent to her too about these things?? She doesn't have any idea how bad and mentally taxing my BDD or ED are (and she won't) and she seems to think I'm just being like "oh I'm fat boohoo give me compliments to boost my self-esteem" or something.
I want to be able to talk to her about this stuff and be there for each other when we're feeling down but I just can't with her shutting me down any time I say anything.
Thanks for listening, this has been bothering me for a while and I've just been having to hold in my feelings about it ugh
[Rant/Rave] Calories can be so damn sneaky!
/u/NIN_88 [5'3 | SW: 128 | CW: 110 | GW:89 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 1 12:25:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gxd74/calories_can_be_so_damn_sneaky/
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So usually when I'm hungry/craving food I look up some recipes on youtube or pinterest and if the food looks delicious to me, I then go straight to cronometer.com to see how many calories it has and then I don't want it anymore.
I usually watch Home Cooking Adventures on youtube because she's my favourite and she always plays some relaxing music while making cakes!
And yeah, I calculated the calories in most of her recipes and the average cake has around 4000kcal. Which at first I thought was a LOT.
Then I saw this video by Tasty on how to make the perfect chocolate cake and decided to calculate the calories in their cake and HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT. That fucking abomination they call cake had more than 10000 CALORIES! And that cake wasn't even large.
Look, I know cake isn't really a low cal food in most cases, but the fact that they managed to make a cake with more than double the calories an average cake has is just beyond me. Like, no wonder most of their employees are overweight.
Quick edit: now I'm really scared to eat anything that I don't know how many calories it has.
[Help] HeLppp
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Fri Dec 1 12:20:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gxbsc/helppp/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Hanger is a bitch, and so am I.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 1 12:16:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gxano/hanger_is_a_bitch_and_so_am_i/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Apparently you aren't allowed to speak about eating disorders on social media.
/u/LavenderBbyRose
Created: Fri Dec 1 12:12:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gx9qe/apparently_you_arent_allowed_to_speak_about/
---
So I had both my Tumblr and my insta taken down because I "glorified eating disorders". I can kinda understand it on my Tumblr because I did talk more in depth about my problems so it might have been taken as promoting, but not on my insta. All I did there was post thinspo and talk about diets and exercise. Probably the worst thing on there was me talking about doing intermittent fasting. I just don't understand. Talking about my issues has really helped. There were so many nice people that followed me on Tumblr and talked to me and helped me feel better and now its all gone. I even said in my description that I wasn't promoting ed but just talking about what I do. God I'm just so angry. Where am I supposed to talk freely then?
[Rant/Rave] Obnoxiously insane flux
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 17BMI | -165 | 30F | AU]
Created: Fri Dec 1 11:54:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gx4vd/obnoxiously_insane_flux/
---
I keep track of my weight daily but I also journal ... not as often as I used to. I’ll start out writing my weight. My last entry was just about exactly a month ago and I weighed the same fucking amount as I did today. I’ll go from 117 (from where I was yesterday and last month) to 113 back up, down, not digesting food, taking in maybe 200-600 cals give or take, and I just feel completely horrified. I keep hitting these flux and plateaus nearly every month now and I just feel like a complete failure... I’m eating slightly more than before to get fibre in my diet but ??? ugh
[Rant/Rave] Broken a Plateau!!!!
/u/daisyhands
Created: Fri Dec 1 11:48:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gx3i0/broken_a_plateau/
---
at the start of this week i was 103lbs. i had been stuck on it for agesssss! This morning i was 98.4lbs!!!! what?!?!? I’m so so happy!!
[Rant/Rave] Not sure what it could be considered as... semi binge? Mini binge???
/u/Fantasisingfunerals [5’8 | 118 | BMI: 18.0 | 17F]
Created: Fri Dec 1 11:47:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gx3b3/not_sure_what_it_could_be_considered_as_semi/
---
Today was going great. I restricted all day until I had an early dinner (can of peas 127 cals, a low cal meal 427, and a bit of courgette idk how much) but then the wafer thin biscuits were calling me.... boy oh boy I had the whole 700 and something calorie pack. Still under 2,000 but I feel disgusting. Wondering What I do do I feel better after thissssss lmao
[Discussion] Anyone use Modafinil/Provigil?
/u/enigmatichoices [5'7F | 175 | -38 | gw: invisible]
Created: Fri Dec 1 11:38:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gx13i/anyone_use_modafinilprovigil/
---
Hey so I don't know if this has been discussed here before, but I use modafinil for school quite often and I noticed that it completely zaps my appetite. I don't even think about food and the moment I do it turns my stomach.
Does anyone else use this for weight loss? It's meant for narcolepsy so it keeps me awake at night but it's pretty fantastic.
[Goal] Boy chest goals
/u/Jen_Nozra [163cm|SW: 62kg|CW:53.4kg|20| 26F]
Created: Fri Dec 1 11:33:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gwzp9/boy_chest_goals/
---
Flair as goal please (mobile).
On my way to a boy chest! All my 32C bras are huge! Need to buy myself some cute tiny bras. I think I am now a 30B. Still need to lose around 4kg to get to my goal and hoping to have an even flatter chest! Yaaaaas!
Can't tell people irl so hoping you guys appreciate my boobless success.
[Goal] On Reaching Goal Weight. (A major topic here)
/u/alwayssoclose
Created: Fri Dec 1 11:32:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gwzfz/on_reaching_goal_weight_a_major_topic_here/
---
I did it, y’all. Reached one pound below goal and have stayed there for a few days. Pretty exciting stuff... or is it? 🤨
That number is right, but it’s pretty much the only thing that is. I thought 108 would bring satisfaction with it, hadn’t even planned for the happiness that should be 107. 108 was my number.
Was remeasured yesterday and was half an inch taller than I thought. I mentally celebrated what that half an inch would mean for my bmi.
107 pounds at 5’8” is pretty slim. I know that, logically. And while I can appreciate my thigh gap and collarbones (even hip bones until I randomly crash into a door frame with ‘em, holy cow that hurts) - it still isn’t enough. I don’t look any different in the mirror than I did at my hw of 122.
I told myself once I got here I would focus on toning up and being healthy-skinny. But now, 103 sounds just right. And you know what’s gonna happen when I get there... 100 will look like a nice, even number. Then 99, because my bmi at 98 would mean admitting this is a real problem. But then shoot, why not 98? No one is checking my bmi but me! This really is a mental disorder I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I am a surprisingly confident, easy going person - but in this one (consuming) area of my life, I will never be good enough.
I am celebrating my success to an extent, and appreciate the hard work that went into reaching a goal. But for anyone lurking and curious, if you see this as a lifestyle choice or an easy fix, or even if you’re starting to worry that maybe your thoughts are leading you towards or down the path of an ED, I encourage you to turn back now and maybe talk to a professional. It will be far more rewarding to lose weight in a healthy way. I remember being on the edge of that cliff and wish now I had done that. Twenty years later, more years than some of you sweet people have been alive, I’ve kinda tumbled down the side of that cliff and have nothing but mental anguish and some prominent wrist bones to show for it.
I’m sorry, didn’t mean to get preachy. Went straight from the scale to a mirror today and realized how incredibly screwed up my brain is. Funny part is, I can say all day long “please don’t do what I’ve done”, but I’m a hypocrite because I’m still in the throes of it. And will be. As a classic anorexic (ouch that hurts to even type), I most certainly have an illogical and deep-seeded, actual fear of gaining weight. On the bright side, I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time despite all this. I’m certainly more aware and understanding of others knowing wholeheartedly that “everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about”.
Blessings to you all. Apologies for the wordiness.
[Discussion] December bullet journal!
/u/nyny2017 [5'7" | CW 125 | 19.6 | HW 145 | GW 112, lithe AF 🖤]
Created: Fri Dec 1 11:22:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gwwvk/december_bullet_journal/
---
[Here 'tis](https://imgur.com/a/7mhgP)
Categories: weight, exercise cals, bowel movement (lol gross sorry), water oz, excess sodium (trying to track water weight/bloat vectors as I'm plateauing now).
Green squares are fasted, red squares are fed (100 cal/hour, and <800 per day. so 8 red squares and 10 green squares hopefully). Final column is how many cals out of 5600 I have left for the week.
Cross hatched Tuesdays I'm going to fast 21 hrs and save 500 cals each so that I can have an extra 1000 on xmas and NYE!
Feel free to share your bujos and trackers; I love seeing them :) :)
December bullet journal
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 1 11:17:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gwvfm/december_bullet_journal/
---
https://imgur.com/a/7mhgP
[Rant/Rave] I have to return a size 2 dress...
/u/SvelteDreams [5'5" | CW 121.4lbs | GW 103lbs | 21F]
Created: Fri Dec 1 10:52:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gwp2g/i_have_to_return_a_size_2_dress/
---
... because it's too big on me!!! I can't believe this. I think it is vanity sizing because a size 0 seems real small. I'm a bit upset because it is a beautiful dress, but also... :)
[Help] My ADHD med dose was reduced and jesus i cannot stop eating tonnes of shit, please please help
/u/Rhyanon [5'7" | 152 | 23.74 | -37 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 1 10:43:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gwmro/my_adhd_med_dose_was_reduced_and_jesus_i_cannot/
---
Emotionally im not doing too bad as in the drop in dose ive had a huge drop in anxiety so im kind of ambivalent towards the fact that my now dopamine deprived brain is craving all of the garbage food. I am worried bc:
1. this is going to result in weight gain
2. weight gain is going to result in an even bigger restriction rebound when I adjust to the new dose which i do not want
3. also dont wanna gain at all tbqh
4. I really cannot afford it
How the fuck do i gain some semblance of self-control? preferably without taking more stimulants including coffee. I dont even wanna high restrict i just dont want to be binging this much?
[Other] gone ages thinking i was 112lb and terrified of scale...
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Fri Dec 1 10:22:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gwh8r/gone_ages_thinking_i_was_112lb_and_terrified_of/
---
realised i’ve now managed to drop to 104.8lb this week :)
[Discussion] Here it is..
/u/tattoosandcoffeee [5'3.75 | CW 138| GW 100 | -21]
Created: Fri Dec 1 08:20:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gvmn1/here_it_is/
---
Already December & I have 19 days until my 30th bday and im trying so hard to stay on track w my goals. I fast 3 days a week and this week the weight in just not fucking budging. Fasted the last 2 days and I'm up .4lbs this morning. So fucking over the emotional & physical roller coaster. Anyway..Happy FRIDAY. What are your December goals & are you on track with them? What are your plans to meet your goals? :)
[Goal] Kind of unrealistic but..
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 | CW 145 | 24.1| -10lb| F]
Created: Fri Dec 1 08:16:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gvlov/kind_of_unrealistic_but/
---
My boyfriend is so thin, he is 130 and 6’0 but very muscular. He wears these very soft V necks and I want to be able to wear one without being scared I will stretch it out..
[Discussion] December 1st, 2017 Question of the Day! 🎅🦌☃️❄️
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 1 06:42:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gv105/december_1st_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What would you like your epitaph to read?
[plzzzz click this link](https://imgur.com/gallery/u0eG60J)
Little things!!
/u/Jerrabella
Created: Fri Dec 1 06:00:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gut56/little_things/
---
I am so proud. First Christmas buffet at work and I didn’t have anything, didn’t buy food at lunch and only had a cuppa soup (89cal) that live in my drawer!
I know it’s not much and this month is going to be painful so I’m gunna take my wins where I find them!!
[Tip] So... I found something that helps me stay on track.
/u/fattynomnoms
Created: Fri Dec 1 05:59:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gut0e/so_i_found_something_that_helps_me_stay_on_track/
---
I wanted to share it with you all, but its very graphic. Its a documentary about a post mortem on a very obese person. WARNING: IT IS GRAPHIC (its a port mortem, after all.)
I'm not going to link it directly, because I don't know if its against the rules to link such a thing. It was on voat FPH a few days ago and right now its on r/morbidreality.
It really, *really* helped me get through the other day when I was craving and craving. Its rather shocking!
[Other] Hey a while back some users requested a few body shots. More info in comments
/u/AnonymousFugget
Created: Fri Dec 1 05:47:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7guqvf/hey_a_while_back_some_users_requested_a_few_body/
---
Hey guys I’m happy to share some pics, sorry it’s taken this long - I’m going to be posting them on my Peach account you can find me at little_mouse
Sorry for the delay, I’ve tried taking pictures on different days and hated them all, hate these ones too, but I said I’d do something and it’s good to follow through on that. Even though a look like a whale made of cottage cheese and squishy jello.
Trigger warnings of course. - that’s why I’m not posting directly here, so you have the choice to view or not.If you don’t feel comfortable viewing these pictures. Don’t. But still feel free to add me on peach.
💚
[Rant/Rave] WHY (a rant)
/u/like_a_living_thing [5'4" | 115 | F | 👽]
Created: Fri Dec 1 05:20:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gumnm/why_a_rant/
---
Why are there people with mental disorders, why did that even come about? It doesn't make any sense to have just a fuck-load of people whose brains are broken, why would we be so fucking dependent on chemicals to function when the chemicals don't even work properly half the time? Mental disorders make NO SENSE. And there are people who won't eat, you know, that thing that survival necessitates. Why am I one of them? The tricks my brain plays won't let me live in reality and that is just something I have to come to terms with, but why is it that way? Why can't it work for everyone the way it works for some people? There are already so many barriers, and then damn brain chemistry just adds a mountain more for some kind of sadistic fun or for no reason at all. Life on hard mode. Fuck being human, fuck chemicals, fuck brains, fuck emotions, FUCK.
[Help] How much water weight could I really be losing if I’m well hydrated?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 1 05:20:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gumlf/how_much_water_weight_could_i_really_be_losing_if/
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[deleted]
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! December 01, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Dec 1 05:14:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gulmr/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for December 01, 2017.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! December 01, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Dec 1 05:14:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gulm2/daily_food_diary_december_01_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 01, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Other] Just finished my Binge/Purge tracker for December and wanted to share it with you guys :)
/u/yesyeshihello [157cm | BMI: 17.4 | 27F]
Created: Fri Dec 1 05:11:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gul3i/just_finished_my_bingepurge_tracker_for_december/
---
https://i.redd.it/u3zigy94ya101.jpg
[Discussion] How’s everyone preparing for Xmas
/u/boohochix
Created: Fri Dec 1 03:59:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7guasw/hows_everyone_preparing_for_xmas/
---
Hi all,
I was wondering whether anyone have thought about Xmas and how you are going to cope with it? I’m bricking it, the thought of Xmas and all the food flying around is making me feel so nervous 😟
[Rant/Rave] Ugh!! How did I get so fat
/u/Kalistalovesunicorns
Created: Fri Dec 1 03:17:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gu5i9/ugh_how_did_i_get_so_fat/
---
I'm 4'11" and have ended up at 123lbs. I look and feel huge, but I cannot seem to shift a lb. my weight just won't budge. As I'm short and I'm off work currenly, my TDEE is only around 1300. Ugh 🙄 🐳🐋
[Rant/Rave] I binged at dinner and I feel awful
/u/InterchangeableMoon
Created: Fri Dec 1 02:44:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gu0wm/i_binged_at_dinner_and_i_feel_awful/
---
I can come up with a million excuses. I was eating at a restaurant with my mom. I'm PMsing + it's cold out which is why I've been hungrier than I've ever been on the same calories I've been on for weeks. A person I was crushing on really hard just stopped replying to me and might've started seeing someone else and I don't know why.
But at the end of the day I feel like I should've known better. Like I should've stopped and made better choices. I'm a fuck up and I'm really disappointed in myself. I hope I get down to a weight where I stop having my period. I hope I get down to a weight where I don't have to be skeptical of whether I'm worthy of love and attention. I hope I get down to a weight where I feel okay enough about myself that I don't need love or attention at all, so i can't be disappointed when I don't get it. I just feel broken and worthless. And I can't even do that right.
[Rant/Rave] I hate being short!!!
/u/bashytr0n
Created: Fri Dec 1 02:31:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gtz8q/i_hate_being_short/
---
[removed]
[Help] is there a ‘higher bmi’ sub on reddit that I’m missing??
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 1 01:24:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gtqkf/is_there_a_higher_bmi_sub_on_reddit_that_im/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Does anyone else feel like they're prone to get obsessed with things?
/u/325896471
Created: Fri Dec 1 00:49:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gtlr6/does_anyone_else_feel_like_theyre_prone_to_get/
---
Literally one day i found /r/1200isplenty and thought, 'hey this is fun but how could i improve?!' and that's kinda where my disordered habits started re: counting and meal planning.
I feel like I've gone through so many 'hobbies' and spend hours researching them with this being quite destructive now.
It's like my mind sees something and immediately i must know EVERYTHING about it, going through internet archives and everything (how i found this place)
[Help] Anyone on Zoloft?
/u/originalpizzamaster
Created: Fri Dec 1 00:28:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gtiuj/anyone_on_zoloft/
---
I'm switching antidepressants under guidance of my psychiatrist (who doesn't know I have an ED) to help with my anxiety. Anyone experience weight gain or issues like that? I'm fucking over constant panic attacks but also the thought of gaining weight is making me anxious 😂
[Rant/Rave] Tipsy and happy
/u/SvelteDreams [5'5" | CW 121.4lbs | GW 103lbs | 21F]
Created: Fri Dec 1 00:23:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gti0c/tipsy_and_happy/
---
Normally I wouldn't let myself drink (despite wanting to) unless it was a special occasion, buuuut I felt like I needed a glass of wine. Because now I feel happy. And like the panic attack I had earlier was in another lifetime. And like maybe I can actually get through tomorrow and be okay? Maybe I can be okay even though I'm nowhere near my goal weight and I have no idea what's going to happen with my future and I'm tired and scared and stressed and isolated all the time.
Maybe tonight I can live with the fat sacks that the upper 1/4 of my thighs become. And maybe I can live without having a 22 inch waist. Maybe I can forgive myself for the Thanksgiving binge.
It's this kinda tipsy that makes me want to drink all the time. I don't know whether to thank my ED for not allowing me to become an alcoholic since unhealthy and too many calories, or to hate it for contributing to the reason I want to drink in the first place.
But tonight I'm not gonna worry about any of it. I'm just gonna get a goodnight's sleep and deal with everything tomorrow. Best wishes for all of you all out there struggling too. I hope you all can get a nice night's sleep as well. We all deserve it.
[Help] URGENT: how do I minimise the swelling from a purge??
/u/olivegreenblack [165 | CW 64 | HW 70 | LW 50.8 | GW 50 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 30 23:57:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gtdbw/urgent_how_do_i_minimise_the_swelling_from_a_purge/
---
I'm panickign so hard right now. I just made a terrible terrible terrible decision. I was finally purge-free for almost two months and the swelling in my face and jaw had finally died down a bit but now I've just gone and purged a whole pint of ice-cream and a bunch of cookies and brownies fuckfuckfuckwhydidIdothis. I know the swelling will come back again and I just have to live with my stupid decision but now is NOT a good time. The thing is I have an important event coming up in three days and I DO NOT want a chipmunk face. Is there ANYTHING I can do to minimise the effects of this recent purge until then? Ice pack? Heating? Massage? Please help me out here :(
[Discussion] ED YouTube channels?
/u/eurydiicce
Created: Thu Nov 30 23:11:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gt59l/ed_youtube_channels/
---
Hey guys! I don’t know about anyone else, but I love ED recovery YouTube channels. Recently though I’ve been dissatisfied with most of them, and have wanted to start my own. A lot of them I find to be still disordered (what I eat in a day videos, talking about weight and numbers, etc), and others I just find myself disagreeing with (once What Mia Does Next, probably the best ed youtuber said something about women being in competition with each other for men and how that’s just “the way we were made” and like lol ....ok...). Some I just find obnoxious. Or any variety of these three reasons, really.
Anyway, what I’m saying is I want to start my own! I was just wondering what it is you guys might like to see in an ed recovery YouTube channel, what topics you might like to hear about, what things you don’t like that ed youtubers do, what things you DO like that ed youtubers do, whatever!
One of my biggest problems rn with the ed recovery YouTube community is just how many vegan “what I eat in a day” videos there are. I can’t help but see it as a thinly veiled form of bragging about restriction. I’m not fully in recovery myself, in fact I’m kind of in the middle of a relapse, but I’ve been through this process several times in my life and just feel as though I have a point of view to offer, and would love to do it in a way that doesn’t come across as glorifying in a way that a lot of these channels do. Obviously everyone with a channel expresses how awful it is to have an ed, but I think there’s still problems within these channels and I want to create the channel I wish was out there already for me to watch.
[Help] Appetite suppressant suggestions?
/u/cancookaroast [179cm | CW: 80kg | BMI: 24.9 | WL: 17kg | 22F]
Created: Thu Nov 30 22:43:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gszxp/appetite_suppressant_suggestions/
---
Hey guys!
What are some easy to find appetite suppressants that actually work!?
[Help] what the hell.
/u/bmddx
Created: Thu Nov 30 22:31:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gsxmt/what_the_hell/
---
i've been restricting below 500 calories for a bit now. three weeks, maybe, with thanksgiving as an exception (still below 1200 that day, though). & i haven't seemed to drop any weight at all. visually, there's a bit of difference— slightly slimmer legs, visible ribs— but the last time i stepped onto a scale (after about a week & a half of restricting), my weight hadn't changed. i've been exercising & drinking a shit ton of water every day too, & i'm just getting a little frustrated with the lack of result. has anyone else grappled with this? what advice would you give? what has worked for you in the past to help you in shedding pounds quickly— certain foods, certain exercises, anything?
[Rant/Rave] I want to eat everything right now.
/u/skydiver89 [skinny fat AF at 5'4" and 140 lbs]
Created: Thu Nov 30 21:37:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gsmq5/i_want_to_eat_everything_right_now/
---
Ugh, I hate it.
I'm fat and gross. I can't afford to gain more weight. I've gained two lbs in the last two days. I feel dizzy.
But I'm so hungry. :(
[Discussion] Possible to trigger a whoosh?
/u/FUCKuNSALTEDcROUTONS [5'6 |CW:156.8 | GW: 125 |F 18]
Created: Thu Nov 30 21:32:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gslnn/possible_to_trigger_a_whoosh/
---
So for the past 6 days I've eaten below 500 cals a day, with my Fitbit saying I've burnt 2,000+ but my weight has stayed the same. I know I must have lost some weight in their somewhere?
Is it possible to eat like 1500 calories worth of good fiber foods like popcorn or something to get things moving and whoosh??
[Rant/Rave] My job is a trigger
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 | CW 145 | 24.1| -10lb| F]
Created: Thu Nov 30 21:27:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gskli/my_job_is_a_trigger/
---
Honestly my place of work is such a trigger. I don’t even drink sodas but it is filled to the brim with every sweet drink you can imagine. The snack cabinet has little Debbie’s, buttery popcorn, pop tarts. It is so tough not to binge while at work. On top of that the food they cater for us is so fattening and there are always heaps of leftovers when I come in. It feels like hell and I always end up eating something with awful carbs. I recently committed to being vegan (since I have been vegetarian for the past 2 years) and hopefully that will help me refrain from so many foods!!
[Goal] Fasting all of tomorrow
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 | CW 145 | 24.1| -10lb| F]
Created: Thu Nov 30 21:24:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gsjzp/fasting_all_of_tomorrow/
---
I haven’t actually had a fast in a while and I want to do my first 24 hour one tomorrow. I just wanted to type it out so I can look back on this and gain some will power from it!
[Rant/Rave] Breast feeding and calories
/u/KerrlyQue
Created: Thu Nov 30 21:16:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gsida/breast_feeding_and_calories/
---
I just had a baby like 2 months ago. Prior to getting preggo I had my ED for like 5 years. I made a promise to myself to stop my behavior for the sake of my child, I gained 60lbs(i was under weight) so far I've lost 30lbs. I have 30 to go.
I have been pumping 40oz a day and eating less than 1000 calories and still not losing weight. Wtf is wrong with me? I'm afraid if I go any lower my milk will stop.
[Rant/Rave] IhatemyheightIhatemyheightIhatemyheight
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 30 21:07:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gsg8w/ihatemyheightihatemyheightihatemyheight/
---
[deleted]
What my boss said
/u/unquestionablycaw
Created: Thu Nov 30 21:03:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gsfi5/what_my_boss_said/
---
[removed]
[Help] What songs make you feel better?
/u/Wisdomtoothinquiry
Created: Thu Nov 30 20:28:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gs7p3/what_songs_make_you_feel_better/
---
For me, it's The Great Beyond by REM.
https://youtu.be/k_JnCWT-_O8
I don't know why but I find the chorus so comforting. "Pushing an elephant up the stairs" is the perfect metaphor for mental illness, in my opinion.
[Discussion] Birth control and weight gain? Any suggestions?
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Thu Nov 30 19:49:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gryvw/birth_control_and_weight_gain_any_suggestions/
---
Soooo I had a few binge days before my period started last night. It's like before it happens my mind snaps and I just eat mindless. I feel worthless,then I realize what happened.
I wish I would just lose my period. I feel not sick enough to have an ED because of this. My period knocks me out, I feel like I'm dying. I get so weak and sleep soooo much.
I want to start birth control again but I am petrified I will gain weight with hormone changes. I want one where I only get my period a few times a year.
Any of you guys have suggestions? I would really appreciate it!
[Discussion] DAE freak out when their friends/acquaintances develop weight-gaining habits?
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | CW: 120 | GW: small | F]
Created: Thu Nov 30 19:46:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gry6c/dae_freak_out_when_their_friendsacquaintances/
---
One of my friends turned 21 recently and has been downing the booze like no other. Always trying to see which liquors are good, which ones aren't, etc. Drinks with TONS of food because she doesn't want to feel the effects of the alcohol as strongly. I'm just sitting here, thinking of how many extra calories she's consuming so easily, and kind of freaking out about it. Like, when will she put on weight? Will she even notice/care?? Aggghh.
There's also the sick ED part of me that WANTS her to keep doing it, so I can be "the skinny one." Wtf.
[Help] FUCK I think my mom may have found out
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 30 19:32:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7grv28/fuck_i_think_my_mom_may_have_found_out/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] it's almost december...
/u/skinnynet [5'6 | 138.5 | -15.5 | 🍑:skinnynet]
Created: Thu Nov 30 19:13:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7grqxk/its_almost_december/
---
and no, it doesn't magically give you a redo, but that "1" on the calendar can really help refresh your mind. take a breath, set your goals, and fuckin crush them - you got this.
[Other] Finished No Binge November...
/u/shrinktoavoid [F 5'7|112.2]
Created: Thu Nov 30 19:04:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7grouw/finished_no_binge_november/
---
... with a binge.
Because fuck me.
And my scale stopped working this morning.
Starting December with a 72 hour fast, wish me luck.
[Discussion] Does anyone else have a history of emetophobia?
/u/desperate_housecat [5'2" | CW: 125?? GW: 115 UGW: 108 | 22F]
Created: Thu Nov 30 19:02:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7grogn/does_anyone_else_have_a_history_of_emetophobia/
---
Starting around age 6, I developed a severe phobia of vomiting. I would have panic attacks if anyone in my family got sick, and even hearing any words or sounds related to puking would make me super nauseous and anxious.
And yet, I still ended up purging.
On the bright side, the phobia is gone 👌
[Rant/Rave] Testimony of a chronically constipated person cured
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 30 18:51:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7grlzm/testimony_of_a_chronically_constipated_person/
---
[deleted]
[Intro] This ruined my life. What about you? How did you come to bulimia or anorexia?
/u/KeyweeNotation
Created: Thu Nov 30 18:49:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7grlgx/this_ruined_my_life_what_about_you_how_did_you/
---
I'm sorry if this is the wrong place to this.
I'm still bulimic. If I'm honest, I won't say I "love" bulimia but it's brought me peace and comfort the way nothing else has.
I still envy pretty women that can be skinny eating normally - three meals, snacks, lunch, slice of cake. I wouldn't have their pretty, hairless, willowy, pert-titted bodies even if I were anorectic since st some point - esp. if you fuck up, have an ED as a kid, and end up short(er) as a result...you have to accept you're never going to have one of those bodies due to your frame and genes. I have saggy tits, thick skin, and would still have a potbelly and a stumpy body at 50 pounds.
I'm unemployed right now and the horrible thing is I find myself blowing hundreds of dollars of savings on food. I spent *five thousand dollars* on food - candy, meat, baking stuff, takeout, baked goods - in six months. It's a pattern - I lose a day and instead of studying or cleaning or having the energy to leave my house, I purge. I lose hours in gray nothingness. I rot my teeth eating piles of shit, sleeping uncomfortably, vomiting, and then losing the day to sweaty post-purge exhaustion. Lather, rinse, repeat.
The kicker is that my biggest problems preceded bulimia, from the time I was nine. The desire to be a pretty, cool, confident girl at the start of puberty is when I started. Bulimia seemed like the solution to every problem I could ever have - no more starving, after my brief period of anorexia (fuck, was I stupid - stunted my growth massively).
I lived at home during college at least partially so I could purge in my own bathroom. I was ugly and acne-ridden (still am, kinda, at thirty). I was stupid, sheltered, and afraid, a ghost moving through a sea of pretty, self-possessed kids who were so much more sophisticated than I was. That's how it's always felt, since high school. That's how it's been since pre-adolescence, that sense of not belonging or anxiety.
Bulimia changes a social life in a culture that often revolves around what I call "performative consumption" of food or alcohol- family meals, holiday and work events are my nightmare. Although less so now - sometimes I wait four to six hours to purge. (Being broke and not trusting my own brain is another reason my friends think I'm a narc.) I know that's ridiculous to a lot of you, holding shitty food that long, and most of the food is probably digested by then.
I'll never be able to live with another person who isn't also bulimic, or indulgent of this.
I have destroyed teeth bound to be fucked up no matter what, worn away the enamel. This year I discovered I have a hernia, no doubt exacerbated by the years of eating till I'm the size of a country pig, uncomfortable, in pain.
This...changed my education; it changed my sense of myself; it poisoned my relationship with my already-suspicious-to-the-point-of-being-abusive mother and gave her fodder to be worse. It changed my height (and thus, my weight and bodily appearance! For the rest of my goddamned life!) It ruined my teeth (I was so stupid, not to neutralize acid after every single purge.) I have a hernia - I know it's because of nearly 20 years of purging.
And it all started at 11, when I was more anorectic/exercise bulimic than anything.
I don't "love" this. I'm so ashamed of it. I'm so disgusted with myself, with the very stench of my own vomit seemingly permeating my body and clothes and space, like the rancid smell of cigarettes does with smokers.
If my friends knew I was bulimic, they'd revile me. For a behavior supposedly so popular, it's so looked down upon in society, isn't it? It's amazing when you think about it - how many women can't even admit they cope or have a history, due to shame? What is bulimia but a character flaw, proof you can't control yourself *or* a body that might be bigger, fatter without it?
What is fat in hypocritical, ignorant, sexist, looksist American society but proof for all to see *you can't control yourself*?
And unlike other addictions, there's nothing sexy about eating disorders of any kind; I wonder if anything but meth or crack has more shame attached to it.
I can't even describe the humiliating times people have commented on my binge haul or caught me attempting to make off with massive quantities of food from public dinners and events to take home and purge. Catering in a place where I inevitably feel deeply ashamed among coworkers (I'm often a temp - that's another horrible story) or partygoers....you might as well spread coke in front an addict to me. The times his has made me feel like a criminal.
If I weren't bulimic, I'd be obese. I'm already ugly, I have no career, no hobbies, no talents, no virtues, and am generally pretty dumb, prone to being the weakest link in every skill or effort I pursue, especially with age. I have no personal assets. I'm a small, frightened, shitty, unimaginative person with no source of self-comfort and nothing healthy to share with people. My disappointments and demons define me. They always have.
If I ate *normally*, with my body type and crap stamina - 1800 calories or so a day, exercising 3x a week, probably not even making 20 minutes - I'd be fat. Fat on top of being short and ugly.
It's my biggest shame, my best friend...and with the way shame works, it'll be my only one till it ruins me. It's bankrupting me financially and health-wise.
I've been to therapy, I've been on antidepressants most of my life - I have no relationship like the one I have with food. Nothing that is both real, and comforting. Nothing certain.
There's nowhere else I can talk about this but a pro-ED board when I say I have fully accepted being bulimic and hope I never have to stop until I finally *choose* to, not because life forces my hand.
If you relate, I'm listening. Sorry this a book.
I hold in all of this every day. Life after college (or rather, since high school, really) has been a long, dark living hell. Bulimia is all that got me through it. It still does.
I don't want to live beyond 40 and hope to successfully kill myself after my parents die, and what I admit here feels like a criminal confession, or worse, the invocation of a sadistic, vengeful God - I hope I'm still able to binge and purge freely, that I have the money, the privacy. The freedom. That I can binge and purge without harming myself so much I can't hide it anymore, and work.
That'll probably be my fucking epitaph.
[Tip] IMPORTANT INFO for those on EC stack!
/u/NegativeOscillation [5'9" | CW: 143 lbs | GW1: 130 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Nov 30 18:21:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7greyj/important_info_for_those_on_ec_stack/
---
Today I straight up asked the pharmacist what the maximum amount of Primatine/Bronkaid I can buy is per the FDA regulations.
Here’s the limit: four grams of ephedrine per month. *FOUR GRAMS!* Do you know what that means? Let me break it down now y’all.
1 Bronkaid or 2 Primatine = 25 milligrams of ephedrine
If you take 2 Bronkaid/4 Primatine per day, one box will last you 15 days, assuming 30 Bronkaid or 60 Primatine per box.
That means to stay on an EC stack *EVERY DAY*, you’d go through two boxes per month. What is that total in terms of ephedrine mass?
🎉🎉 1.5 GRAMS! 🎉🎉
(Assuming 30 days/month)
That’s *FAR* below the limit of 4 grams per month! Which, FYI, would equate to 5 boxes, again assuming 30 Bronkaid or 60 Primatine per box.
No go, go and enjoy your EC stack without fear of the FDA! 👍🏻
Edit: I’ve been informed that the 30 day limit is actually *nine grams* so you are even more in the clear. Thanks /u/alliknowis__
[Rant/Rave] Feelin a binge coming on
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Thu Nov 30 18:14:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7grdcw/feelin_a_binge_coming_on/
---
I’ve been doing super well restricting for 24-48 hours multiple times a week but my will power is getting weak and alllllll I want to do is eat 😩
I haven’t binge ate in a long time and I thought I would be strong enough but it feels like I’m back to that ugh
[Discussion] November 30th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 30 17:54:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gr8j0/november_30th_2017_question_of_the_day/
---
What did you almost do today?
Stay within my calorie goal 😩
[Rant/Rave] So I gave in and finally tried Halotop
/u/counting-the-seconds
Created: Thu Nov 30 17:43:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gr5ua/so_i_gave_in_and_finally_tried_halotop/
---
And let me say, when you feel a binge coming on, it's fucking amazing.
240 calories per PINT and still super sweet and filling? Sign me the FUCK up.
I wound up staying right my daily intake (slightly over...but not drastically so) AND I don't feel absolutely disgusting. Cravings satisfied.
[Help] Dating in recovery, aaaand my self-loathing is ruining it
/u/salviaplath_13 [5'1 | CW: 110 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 30 17:39:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gr51i/dating_in_recovery_aaaand_my_selfloathing_is/
---
I’ve been trying to stay in bulimia recovery for almost 5 months, with a few slip-ups. But I'm trying. A few months ago ago I made a tinder and after meeting a few guys (that didn’t work out), I met the guy I’m dating now. We’ve been dating for 3 weeks now and while we are not official I believe it’s moving in that direction fast, and have already used the word exclusive. I honestly believed for a long time I would never be stable enough to have a relationship. While I don’t think that’s true anymore, my ED thoughts are starting to self sabotage.
We’ve slept together a few times and while I hate being naked I feel ok most of the time with him. Only thing is, this entire time he’s never once said anything about my appearance (inside or outside of the bedroom). Not even a “you’re cute.” When we had sex a few days ago he touched my butt and said “you have a nice bum.” That’s it...Now I’m not trying to fish for compliments with him but my body image is shit to begin with obviously. I always inadvertently start restricting when someone is seeing my body on the reg, and I kind of need some reassurance. I don’t know how to communicate this to him without looking pathetic, or having to admit I have an ED. At this moment I’m hating my body so much that I don’t want to have sex with him anymore until I get that and maybe not even see him again, because woo relapse feels imminent? He’s a very good looking dude. We both are serious rock climbers and so I’ve got muscle from that, but this dudes got a six pack. This makes me feel even more insecure about believing he'll stick around, because he could have the cream of the crop or whatever when it comes to girls... I've never dated a guy with a stereotypically "nice" body before.
Being asked if you're pregnant + a shameful story
/u/UnrecoverableFuss [5'4 | GW 115 | CW 166 | HW/LW 198/98 | 28F]
Created: Thu Nov 30 17:04:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gqwb8/being_asked_if_youre_pregnant_a_shameful_story/
---
Shameful memory of the day. About two years ago I was doing research at a school for adults, mostly misogynistic men from cultures where women are decorative baby machines. The emotional exhaustion of constantly having to turn men down was tiring. I fell into binging mode and gained about 20 pounds in 2 months, going from normal weight (~125) to slightly overweight (~145).
One of the men hadn't been to class for a while. When he returned, he looked at me, BEAMING, and said "you're pregnant?!" He wasn't trying to be mean or rude, he was genuinely happy for me.
What did I do? What did I fucking do? I smiled and nodded. I knew I would only be there for two more months. They treated me like a fucking queen for the rest of the time I was there, it was bliss. I'm a fucking psychopath.
**Please tell me someone else has done this. And please comfort me with your being-asked-if-you're-pregnant stories.** The first time it happened to me, it was a checker in a grocery store. I was 15 and underweight but had that lapsed-anorexic potbelly from hell.
[Rant/Rave] A haiku about pooping.
/u/NegativeOscillation [5'9" | CW: 143 lbs | GW1: 130 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Nov 30 17:03:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gqw3q/a_haiku_about_pooping/
---
Really love pooping
Love how light it makes me feel
Completely empty
💩
[Rant/Rave] This is the first year in my entire life that I have been a healthy weight the whole time
/u/pcrnography [it's just water weight]
Created: Thu Nov 30 16:50:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gqt12/this_is_the_first_year_in_my_entire_life_that_i/
---
I’ve never been underweight but previously I was obese/overweight. This year i’ve “maintained” (ie binged & restricted) in the same 15 pound range. I wish I could be proud but I’m upset that I haven’t lost more, but at the same time, I exhausted myself by restricting and overexercising my way to losing 70ish pounds. I want to give myself a break but I’m just sad I don’t have the strength to lose more.
[Rant/Rave] I am so angry and upset right now
/u/PrettyGirlsDontEat [5'8" | CW 131 | GW 100 | BMI 19 | -119 | F/22]
Created: Thu Nov 30 16:42:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gqqvm/i_am_so_angry_and_upset_right_now/
---
Pardon my language in this post but I'm filled with so much emotion right now. This is going to be a big rant and it will probably be triggering.
I FUCKING HATE the holidays. How the fuck are you going to put Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas back to fucking back. And on top of that why the fuck does my family have to have so many fucking birthdays within these 3 months as well. Including mine of course. And my family has to do these birthday dinners, it's not like I can skip my own fucking birthday dinner. And oh my fucking gosh the cake. I've been able to dodge all the cake for years by saying I don't like cake (who actually doesn't like cake???) but now I'm known as the kid who likes brownies. It's not like I can use the "I'm on a diet excuse" anymore because according to my entire fucking family I've gotten too thin even though I'm 5'8" and 130lbs. How that is to thin to anybody is beyond me honestly it is. Maybe if my entire family wasn't so fucking fat they wouldn't think that. Literally 95% of my entire family on both sides is overweight. And at work I am THE ONLY non-overweight person on the entire team. No exaggeration, EVERYBODY ELSE besides me is overweight. Not that I'm not far from being overweight myself, it's only what, like 20 pounds away? I can't even reach underweight. I'm a huge fucking failure of a human being I can't even do something so simple as don't shove my face with food, like it's insanely easy but noooo. You get those moments where your normal brain takes control of your ED brain and says stuff like "we almost passed out at work today maybe we should eat." and the entire time you're preparing food you're screaming at yourself on the inside so loudly if it was audible it would be literally defining. And you've purged so much recently that your throat hurts to much to do it again. I'm at such a low point right now, I feel like I haven't been this low in a while. My only wish is to live alone with nothing in my cabinets and a fridge full of diet soda, fruits, and vegetables.
I just want to curl up and die right now. End rant.
[Rant/Rave] Friends have triggered a relapse
/u/CrochetedKingdoms
Created: Thu Nov 30 16:33:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gqox2/friends_have_triggered_a_relapse/
---
Some background: My mom used to make me take dietary supplements when I started getting chunky as a teenager. I was an active teen, in sports and never on the bench or anything. I was just chunky. When I had my first kid, I gained 90(yeah) pounds and crashed hard. Once he was born, I Would work out from the moent I got up up until someone came home. I sat in the hot garage wearing sweatshirts and sweatpants underneath a plastic bag suit. I ended up not being able to breastfeed him because I wasn't getting any nutrition for him.
I realized I had to stop when one morning he started crying and I couldn't move. I literally couldn't get up to feed my baby. I had lost so much weight in such a short amount of time. I pretended I had the flu, and my mom stayed home to help nurse me back to health. Once I got my strength back, it was a struggle to not do that anymore. Literally years long.
Seven years later: I have a group of friends I play D&D with every once in a while. One of them is just body goals. Like, teeny tiny. Finding clothes and bras has to be easy for her. My weight has gone almost back up to my pregnancy weight. I got by by literally never looking in the mirror. Every time I did, I would cry and start starving myself again. My husband is, unfortunately(fortunately?) aware of all of this and watches me eat and doesn't let me use the bathroom immediately.
Another friend tried getting into shape really quickly. And by "in shape" I mean "thin." He started water fasting, cutting calories drastically, and exercising a lot. Sound familiar?
The other two are a couple. They have, collectively, decided that they are both not only Too Fat, but this means they're out of shape and unhealthy. I was given my first clean bill of health by a doctor at 247 lbs a few weeks ago. She said I'm very healthy and should be proud at how hard I've worked to get this way. And I was.
But their off-hand comments have deflated any semblance of pride I had. All the woman does is talk about her eating habits, her exercise, how much sugar she can and can't have, how small she used to be, how huge and horrible she looks. She's like 8 sizes below me.
The guy keeps making comments at the teensy girl in our group, saying how in shape and healthy she is. And she's the size I've been aspiring to be since I was a teenager. She's so small and frail and light. I can't even look at myself in the mirror. I haven't been able to for YEARS. I decided to look today and god. How am I still married?? How can this man stand to have sex with me?!
I'm sitting on my bed in the dark after having 717 calories and I'm hungry, but I feel so...light. I feel BETTER. And I know that's bad. I know that's not healthy but man... I keep thinking about working out and feeling the disgusting fat leaving my body and I want to give in so bad.
I worked so hard to get to a healthy body. And I feel like it's incredibly unfair of my friends, who KNOW I have an ED, who KNOW I'm triggered easily and HAVE BEEN TOLD how I feel about food talk, weight talk, and exercising, to constantly bring this up.
Sorry, this was longer than I thought.
[Help] I'm really embarrassed to admit this
/u/little-paws
Created: Thu Nov 30 15:02:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gq1dy/im_really_embarrassed_to_admit_this/
---
I just binged again. I binged on Tuesday as well and said omg I feel so relieved that it's over now well GUESS WHAT I did it again!
I'm so embarrassed and ashamed and ugh I feel awful. I'm only admitting it here because everyone is so nice and supportive here.
Now I'm panicking and I don't think I'm going to make my goal and I feel really like shit.
How can I fix this?
[Discussion] Had to sit through a lecture on EDs today/ Recovery cruelty
/u/whatsupbuttercup5 [5'3" | CW 97.2 | BMI 17.2 | GW 90 | HW 126 | 25F]
Created: Thu Nov 30 14:53:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gpyot/had_to_sit_through_a_lecture_on_eds_today/
---
I've mentioned this loads of times but I'm a first year PA student (if you guys don't know what a PA is I'll happily explain it!).
We had a guest lecturer come in today to talk about EDs and my blood was boiling. She was talking about management for people with EDs and it just made no sense. I'm the first to admit I don't know a lot of medicine (I have half my didactic year left) but it just seemed cruel. She said they focus on behavioral changes before emotional/cognitive and I'm just thinking in my ED head like... yeah, that'll work. /s
There just seemed to be so little compassion. Force treatment on people because yeah YOU know what's best for them. Obviously we all know what we are doing is unhealthy. But if it's helping me mentally cope, why is it not my right to ruin my body to help my mental health? Body autonomy yo!
My friend Laura was sitting beside me and I was texting her my thoughts. She was like, "I never realized how psychologically cruel it would be to force feed someone with anorexia." And she's a very compassionate person. I can't imagine the hell some people with EDs have gone through in recovery.
Not to say recovery is bad... but it should be a choice, otherwise it won't work.
Also super awk because they were talking about behaviors like avoiding social situations/restaurants.... and two hours later my friends were going out to a lunch for Laura's birthday that I declined because I didn't want to eat. Could feel their eyes boring into my head. But IDGAF. I'm so sick of feeling like I need to apologize for how I am. They can think I'm disordered and maybe I am but I didn't *choose* to be this way and it doesn't mean I need someone to fix me!!
/end rant lol
I'd love to hear you guys' thoughts and experiences.
[Rant/Rave] I'm kind of excited
/u/CORNJOB [4'10" | CW 86.6kg | GW 45kg]
Created: Thu Nov 30 14:50:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gpxz0/im_kind_of_excited/
---
So some background info: My mum died in 2014 and as one of the reactions of dealing with that my appetite went to shit. It wasn't deliberate, but I just stopped feeling hungry and inadvertently found myself fasting for up to 24 hours sometimes just because I forgot to eat, however I never really lost weight during that time as I wasn't restricting when I did eat.
Anyway, cut to last week, some family shit went down (I live with my dad and don't get on with him) which triggered some self destructive desires, which manifested as fasting. I'm pretty sure I've been consuming no more than 300 calories the days I ate, and the scales are reflecting that! I lost 2.5kg (about 5.5lbs) in about a week and it's the first time I've seen the scales shift downwards in a very long time. I'm so fucking stoked!!! It's actually giving me an excited rush and something I really don't want to stop doing, especially since I've always hated my weight and my brother may be getting married in the summer so maybe it's possible that there could be some photos of me that I don't want to set fire to. If this continues to trend downwards and I get into the 70s I'll explode from happiness because I haven't been that low since I was a teenager, even though it's still way off my goal.
Anyway, just wanted to share that bit of happiness.
[Rant/Rave] Fucking sharting >_<
/u/datnastaythrowaway [H 164 | W 56.5 | BMI 21 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 30 14:47:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gpwz6/fucking_sharting/
---
For a while I've been on 700-800 cals a day, usually just dinner.
I'll have a bm like once, maybe twice a week, but every so often after a meal I'll have a little shart. Not diarrhoea, just one tiny shart. It's SO embarrassing, even when I'm home alone.
Ah, the glamorous things no one ever tells you about 🙄
[Rant/Rave] TIL that my co-worker is bulimic.
/u/ueno_stn_54
Created: Thu Nov 30 14:20:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gppzi/til_that_my_coworker_is_bulimic/
---
She confessed to me that she loves the high of binging and purging afterwards and then fasts between binges. She says she does it multiple times a month and nobody knows. Wow more people are like me than I want.
[Rant/Rave] you know you're in deeeeep when normal meals feel like a binge
/u/ilikecocoakrispies [5'1 | CW: 130 | GW:100 | 🍑:kyoops]
Created: Thu Nov 30 13:39:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gpewc/you_know_youre_in_deeeeep_when_normal_meals_feel/
---
I just made a sandwich and I ate the whole thing and I feel so gross, the same grossness I feel after an ACTUAL binge. I fucking hate having an ED and I want to be able to eat normally again and not feel so guilty about eating what other people eat daily. BUT AT THE SAME TIME I just want to be tiny and skinny and dainty. Living hell.
[Goal] December Goals
/u/z0mbabe [5'7 |161lbs | F| 🍑z0mbabe]
Created: Thu Nov 30 13:21:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gpad5/december_goals/
---
What are your December goals?
November was a bust for me and I think I only lost about 10lbs :/ it’s hard to be sure because I had a binge episode last week and now I’m on my period.
So here’s to starting fresh!
My goals are:
•Lose 15lbs
•Fast Sunday-Friday
•No binging until Christmas
•When I do eat, it’s less than 900 calories
•Drink 120oz of water a day
[Help] First 72 hour Fast
/u/Fantasisingfunerals [5’8 | 118 | BMI: 18.0 | 17F]
Created: Thu Nov 30 13:21:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gpacw/first_72_hour_fast/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Vora acting up?
/u/littlejanedoe- [5'1" |CW:123.4lbs | GW:115lbs | F]
Created: Thu Nov 30 12:53:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gp2o7/vora_acting_up/
---
Is anyone else's Vora account not calculating time properly? My start and end times are correct but the "fast" time doesn't match.. if so how did you fix it. I already uninstalled the app and reinstalled it but that didn't work.
On mobile please flair :)
[Rant/Rave] Stomach confessions
/u/curvylucifer [5'2 | gw 115 | -70lbs | F]
Created: Thu Nov 30 12:48:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gp1eu/stomach_confessions/
---
Need a rant flair! <3
So this guy came over to smoke with me and we've been smoking for like 3 hours just watching tv and talking.
And of course I haven't eaten all day. So we talk about food on and off before forgetting about it all together.
So yeah, my stomach decided to rat me out and growl LOUDLY like it's never been fed in its life before. The guy (who is insanely gorgeous and out of my leauge) looks at me and goes "see you are hungry! I'll go get us something." So then he proceeds to ask me what I want and I'm just say I'm probably gonna eat later while nervously trying to avoid eye contact.
So off he goes to get us food and I'm sitting here like uhhhhhh what just happened??
Fyi, he's texted me he's legit coming back and not ditching me. Lol. Great.
[Other] Reminder: not all posters are female
/u/gross9876 [-16 lb | nb]
Created: Thu Nov 30 12:48:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gp17q/reminder_not_all_posters_are_female/
---
No matter what, please just don't assume that a poster is a girl. I have in my flair that I'm nb but maybe no one reads it?
That's all have a nice day everybody
[Rant/Rave] Oh no
/u/ssfbgm
Created: Thu Nov 30 12:36:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7goxx2/oh_no/
---
New gastation/grocery store/hell opened up really close to me. They sent coupons.
So much for no binge November because all the binge food was on sale why am I like this
edit: rant
[Rant/Rave] i cry everyday
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Thu Nov 30 12:31:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gowmf/i_cry_everyday/
---
i hate myself so much it’s disabling me from functioning normally. my double chin gives me so much mental pain and that’s literally just the beginning of all the parts that build up my disgusting disgusting body
[Discussion] Does anyone else constantly touch their body?
/u/skyofAuroras [5'10" | CW: 129lbs | GW: 115lbs |19F]
Created: Thu Nov 30 12:27:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7govfi/does_anyone_else_constantly_touch_their_body/
---
I find that I'm always touching my collarbone at random moments. I love wrapping my hands around my thighs and seeing how far up I can go. Same with putting my fingers around my arm. My goal is to be able to wrap my fingers around my upper arm (I can almost do it but not really). When I lay down I love that I can actually feel my ribs. I must look really weird doing this in public. But yeah, any of you do this?
[Rant/Rave] I'm looking at the possibility of having my gallbladder removed and I can't help thinking that I've done this to myself
/u/allkindsofnewyou [5'2 | 95 | BMI 17 | F ]
Created: Thu Nov 30 12:04:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gopav/im_looking_at_the_possibility_of_having_my/
---
God damn it.
This would explain the bloat I've been having bc the dr said it was symptomatic and my first thought was "oh thank God I thought I'd gained weight."
Edit: how many calories does having 4 vials of blood drawn burn?
[Help] Looking for shows to watch while I workout
/u/then_she_said [5'7 | -58 | 27F | UGW: 130]
Created: Thu Nov 30 11:34:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gogy1/looking_for_shows_to_watch_while_i_workout/
---
Hey all, so I recently put a stationary bike in my living room, and it's been pretty great to be able to drive home from work, throw on leggings and slippers, catch up on a show, then just slip off and make dinner after 45 minutes or so.
I'm looking for suggestions on really engaging, awesome shows. I'm loving the Runaways, but it only comes out once a week. I do love that style of over-budgeted, really intriguing, decently written, attractive people (my husband loves Marvel and got me to watch the first episode with him and he asked what I thought, I told him it reminds me of Gossip Girl but with cults- apparently the same people produced both shows!)
So yeah, I loved Gossip Girl back in the day but honestly could never get into Skins. I love This Is Us, Game of Thrones, Black Sails, Outlander, Borgias, stuff that's just high drama.
Any and ALL suggestions are so welcome! I would prefer 45-minute episodes, but I guess if they're 30-minutes then it's a good excuse to keep going through 2 of them haha. Thank you!
I look like a fucking whale after eating dinner and I have no clue why.
/u/Fantasisingfunerals [5’8 | 118 | BMI: 18.0 | 17F]
Created: Thu Nov 30 11:27:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gof0y/i_look_like_a_fucking_whale_after_eating_dinner/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] When will this hell finally end?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 30 10:55:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7go60u/when_will_this_hell_finally_end/
---
Weighed myself this morning. Right back up to 107. I've been trying to lose down to 100 for THREE YEARS and it never happens. Please kill me.
[Discussion] What changes in your body are you most looking forward to?
/u/ParanoidPancreas [5'11" | CW 156 | -17 | UGW 138]
Created: Thu Nov 30 10:09:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gntji/what_changes_in_your_body_are_you_most_looking/
---
For me it's getting my bony hip bones back. I have naturally wide hips (the almost of times I've heard I have "childbearing hips" is TOO DAMN HIGH, I don't even want kids, fml) but when I'm thin they poke out pretty far and I like how that looks when wearing leggings. Also I'm excited to get protruding collarbones again, I think the clavicle is such a pretty part of the human body :)
What about you? What are you most looking forward to?
[Rant/Rave] Being short sucks
/u/VolantVelociraptor [5'2" | 114.2 | GW 100 | 20.9 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 30 10:07:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gnt24/being_short_sucks/
---
Sorry I just need to vent- (sailor swearing ahead) I was talking to my boyfriend (6’ and athletic, so he burns a lot of calories) the other day, and I was irritated at how he can eat 3000 calories a day and I about 1500 to maintain. I did the math, and figured that if I don’t eat anything for a MONTH I can lose at most 12-15 pounds. And he’d lose that much just eating what I eat. I swear, between that and the fact that whenever I gain a pound (even if it’s water weight?) it’s so damn visible, being short sucks asssss. I just wish I could be like “oh yeah I cut out soda and lost 40 pounds in a month”. I like being short otherwise, but. Ugh. I swear every short girl I know has some sort of disordered tendencies because we gain weight by looking at a pizza then have to meticulously track calories for the rest of our lives which pretty often spirals into bad things for a lot of people. Also fuck fast food, a burger should not be my TDEE. Won’t stop me from shoveling it my face but. /rant
[Discussion] Today's the last day of No-Binge November! Let's keep it going!
/u/mintslut [4'11 | CW: 114 | UGW: 84 | -9.5lbs | F]
Created: Thu Nov 30 10:00:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gnrci/todays_the_last_day_of_nobinge_november_lets_keep/
---
Does anyone else remember [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/proed/comments/7cfzrr/_/) post? I pledged, alongside many others, that I wouldn't binge for the rest of November! And I haven't! Since today's the last day, I actually want to fast to celebrate :)
Let's do something similar for December. I know it's going to be hard, especially with Christmas dinners coming up. But let's try our best!
Who's with me for No-Binge December?
Also, tell me how your pledges went for this month!
[Other] Sometimes #2 is the answer
/u/fimuckmylife
Created: Thu Nov 30 10:00:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gnr4c/sometimes_2_is_the_answer/
---
I've been eating between 400-800 cal a day but my stomach kept getting bigger and bigger. I thought either I was going nuts and it wasn't actually getting bigger or I was bloated because obviously I couldn't be gaining on that. Turns out I just needed a really massive dump. I swear I think I just lost 3 lbs. I know it's easy to freak out when you're doing everything right and you're not seeing results but just remember there are a lot of bodily processes going on and just because you don't see results on the scale or your body doesn't mean you aren't losing.
[Tip] Advent Time = Lent
/u/kein-08-15
Created: Thu Nov 30 09:45:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gnn3d/advent_time_lent/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] horrible realisation
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Thu Nov 30 09:30:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gnj2z/horrible_realisation/
---
today sat in school i realised i am the fattest out of my group of friends. everyone was sat there stuffing their faces with so much shit and feeling no guilt and i was sat there looking ugly with my huge fat double chin and so hungry why do they get to eat and i’m the miserable one
[Rant/Rave] Just a rant
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 | CW 145 | 24.1| -10lb| F]
Created: Thu Nov 30 09:13:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gneoj/just_a_rant/
---
My boyfriend can tell I am eating less and he keeps saying things like “I know you are trying to lose weight but I don’t want you to end up with an ed” and it’s so hard not telling him how much I have struggled with this over the years because I tell him absolutely everything. It is honestly so hard because even tho I am relatively average size he is 6’0 and 130lb so he is just so thin. It’s so hard weighing more than him sometimes because I just wish he could pick me up without a even a struggle at all. I feel like I crush him.
[Help] tell me i’ll be okay
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Thu Nov 30 09:09:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gndh4/tell_me_ill_be_okay/
---
i had 1/4 portion of soup and a brown bread roll but now i just ate a 175 calorie chocolate bar
[Other] Sleep like crap = eat like crap
/u/throwaway002300 [25F | 5’3 | CW 102 | BMI 18 | GW ???]
Created: Thu Nov 30 08:57:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gnafd/sleep_like_crap_eat_like_crap/
---
Really though. I haven’t gotten quality sleep in a week on top of heavy restriction and b/p daily. So naturally, I’ve eaten literally everything in sight today including foods that are forbidden, effectively ruining the rest of my day/week and any progress I have made. Definitely going to start focusing on sleep schedule more
[Rant/Rave] Jealous of a Friend
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 30 08:27:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gn2v0/jealous_of_a_friend/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Wearing Scrubs not working out for me
/u/TacosGetMeThrough [🍑 5’4|28F|SW: 183|CW: 164|GW: 120]
Created: Thu Nov 30 08:09:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gmy8z/wearing_scrubs_not_working_out_for_me/
---
[RANT] So I am starting a new job the week after next and you can wear business casual or scrubs (I'm at the front desk of a vets). I was SOOOOO excited to wear scrubs, I mean if you google women scrubs everyone looks amazing and they are form fitting & cute.
Well lets just say I will not be wearing them, they are VERY UNFORGIVING. I have a big chest so I need stuff that hugs me at the waist to make me not look like I am as big as my chest and this has proven difficult. Lets not even talk about the pants........ omg my ass & my belly just no I could cry right now thinking about it. These pants have 0 give most were not form fitting and just straight leg right down. It is so upsetting, but I am trying to use it as motivation to stop binging and stick to restricting but I just can't stop picturing the god awful way these looked on me. And how the other girls at the office looked (all skinny). All of them wear scrubs so I feel I will stand out not wearing them.
[Intro] New and hopeful
/u/sarajanebookish
Created: Thu Nov 30 07:13:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gml8x/new_and_hopeful/
---
I've been seeking a safe place to share my feelings about food. I'm really lonely: Even my two best friends do not know how I struggle with decisions about what to eat, when to eat, and so forth.
[Rant/Rave] Fasting Before I Go Out
/u/fuckingilluminated
Created: Thu Nov 30 07:11:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gmksj/fasting_before_i_go_out/
---
So I have a doctors appointment on Friday, and with my girlfriends busy schedule, my mom has offered to take me and help me run some errands. She offered to take me to lunch. I am so happy that I messaged her two days in advance cause now I've been fasting and preparing myself for eating a meal in public. Still nervous about where we go and what we eat, but I am excited to enjoy this time with my mom. I am trying really hard to not let my relapse from my sh and my ed ruin my relationships. It's so hard not to self sabotage and say no to every outing just because I know there will be either lots of people or lots of food, or both.
[Rant/Rave] My mom just told me she started fasting because of me 😊🔫
/u/bagelzboi [5'3 | CW:83bs | GW: 13.5 BMI | 21F ]
Created: Thu Nov 30 07:04:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gmjb8/my_mom_just_told_me_she_started_fasting_because/
---
I told her about my ana/ed about a week ago. I didn't go hugely specific but I did mention that I fast quite a lot. Today she told me she did a 4 day fast just to try it out and now she keeps talking about food and "healthy diets" and how binging is totally normal!!! and I wanna kms myself so much more now.
[Rant/Rave] Heated jackets exist and they are amazing!!
/u/Ep1cDuCK [5'7.5" | CW: 107 lbs | BMI 16.5 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 30 07:03:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gmixu/heated_jackets_exist_and_they_are_amazing/
---
Hello lovlies,
I've been using a heated jacket for about a year now and it is so awesome! I'm cold in anything under 70 F (21 C), shivering in anything below 55-60 F (13-16 C), and on freezing in anything below 32 F (0 C).
**Things I love about my electric jacket**
*I can wear it indoors and be just as warm as I would be with a winter coat, but I no longer look like a weirdo/offend people by wearing a winter coat indoors
*The heating level is adjustable with the push of a button, so it works for many temperatures
*It is thin enough to wear under a winter coat if it's really cold outside
*The battery life lasts long enough to be used for like a week at a time before it needs to be recharged
It's honestly such a godsend to be able to hang out with my friends, or visit the houses of cold-lovers without shivering constantly. The downside is that they aren't super cheap; you can get them on amazon for $100-$150. But for me it was so worth it!
[Other] I can’t stop purging
/u/schizomaticly
Created: Thu Nov 30 06:26:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gmb4x/i_cant_stop_purging/
---
I purge every day, 2-4 times a day. I don’t even binge; I just eat a normal amount and then puke it. I have really bad acid problems, my teeth feel more sensitive, and my chest feels funny after purging.
I’m not sure how I got into it, but now I can’t stop.
I’ve become really good at purging.
I don’t feel like I need help though.
It's my moms birthday so I wanted to take her to see a movie, I asked her and we made a decision on which one. Then I remembered the popcorn (and possibly candy) that I won't be able to resist...
/u/IsAFailure [M 5'6 | CW: 118lbs | GW: Whatever it takes to like what I see]
Created: Thu Nov 30 06:14:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gm8ms/its_my_moms_birthday_so_i_wanted_to_take_her_to/
---
This is a predicament.
Edit: I suppose I don't need to worry about eating popcorn if I fucking sleep past the showtime and ruin the plan anyway...
[Rant/Rave] I want to eat so badly
/u/IceInIridian
Created: Thu Nov 30 05:36:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gm1bh/i_want_to_eat_so_badly/
---
I’m so tired of being hungry haha
I miss eating cake and cookies and chips without feeling guilty
I miss not pacing around the kitchen or store for half a hour trying to find something to eat, only to walk out empty handed
I’m so damn hungry but I mentally can’t bring myself to eat
All I can imagine is the shame of being seen putting food in my mouth and having to log it
All I can imagine is the fat pooling in my thighs and my stomach spilling out of my jeans
I hate this so much
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support November 30, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Nov 30 05:11:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7glwvn/weekly_emotional_support_november_30_2017/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 30, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Nov 30 05:09:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7glwl7/daily_food_diary_november_30_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 30, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] Is anyone else afraid to post in other subreddits?
/u/p3rfectillusion [4'10 | 95 | 21.27 | -15 | 18 F]
Created: Thu Nov 30 01:59:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gl22a/is_anyone_else_afraid_to_post_in_other_subreddits/
---
I'm scared that someone will rifle through all my posts and make unwanted comments about my ED. Does anyone else use two accounts when browsing reddit?
[Help] Question regarding eating
/u/acidicneedle_
Created: Thu Nov 30 01:36:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gkynx/question_regarding_eating/
---
Hi all. I have a question- so you know when you restrict your calorie intake to under 1,000 calories a day (or just restrict cal intake) and then after you start losing weight? I've noticed and known as a fact that if you do that too quickly your body goes into "starvation" mode where it actually holds on to body fat as opposed to actually losing it. I was wondering if this has happened to any of you and when did you noticed that you were actually losing weight by not eating much?
Thank you for your input :)
Tall people make me feel I'll never be enough
/u/gross9876 [-16 lb | nb]
Created: Thu Nov 30 01:36:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gkyn9/tall_people_make_me_feel_ill_never_be_enough/
---
At first my goal was to be 100 lb at 5' 3", but tonight my roommate talked about all their significant others who have been 5' 8" at 100 lb or 6' 2" at 115.
They also keep talking about how they're attracted to super thin and tall people (I actually began being ana after a comment they made on how hot tall lanky people are).
I'm not attracted to my roommate, but I want to be attractive to everyone. It's weird but it's an extra punch in the gut because my roommate has an obese BMI - sort of like, it doesn't matter who you are, tall and bony is the epitome of beauty.
I don't even know how I can beat 5' 8" and 100 lb! I honestly just see myself eating 500 cals a day until I die from this thing. I'll never be lanky :)))
[Thinspo] Princess thinspo
/u/smallest_madeline [F 5'0" | CW 108 | HW 125 | LW 80| GW 85]
Created: Thu Nov 30 00:33:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gkoi6/princess_thinspo/
---
https://www.instagram.com/p/BIX61m6gsN_/?taken-by=meghanmarkle
[Discussion] Fasting vs Eating Less: really interesting!
/u/mildolconf [5'9" | 134.2 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 30 00:16:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gklo1/fasting_vs_eating_less_really_interesting/
---
https://youtu.be/APZCfmgzoS0
[Help] I NEED REASSURANCE I DIDNT JUST BREAK MY FAST
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 29 22:37:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gk353/i_need_reassurance_i_didnt_just_break_my_fast/
---
[deleted]
starting a fast tomorrow.
/u/ssl0th [5'5 | CW: 198 | GW: 185 | UGW: 150 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 29 22:21:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gjzwv/starting_a_fast_tomorrow/
---
I really wanted to post to hold myself accountable! I’ve been trying to fast for a couple weeks but work leaves me feeling so drained in every way if I don’t eat. But no excuses!! I can do this. Wish me luck
[Discussion] Long time lurker, first time poster. I made something that I wanted to share
/u/agoodtimetostart
Created: Wed Nov 29 22:16:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gjyz2/long_time_lurker_first_time_poster_i_made/
---
Hey everyone,
I'm currently restricting and I really had to fight for willpower tonight, for some reason late at night is when I crave binging on terrible shit the most. Instead of binging I made this mobile wallpaper instead. I just threw it together in photoshop but doing it completely renewed my determination and almost completely stopped the craving.
[This is the wallpaper](https://i.imgur.com/BEESk7m.jpg). The picture I used is both seasonal appropriate and has a bit of a deeper meaning to me and my goals/outlook of my life that affects my restrictive habits. I believe it's mistletoe before it blooms, which is holiday appropriate but also for me signifies my irrational belief that I won't find true love until I'm at my goal weight/ won't be worthy of love until I'm the smallest I've ever been.
I know it's irrational, but for me it's one of those deep-rooted beliefs that you develop while dealing with an eating disorder, one that developed for me right along with compulsively obsessing over food- either planning out how to get out of eating during restricting or how much to eat during a binge, or even (and this is kinda gross) trying to mentally tally what you binged on and comparing it to the contents of the toilet after a purge. I recognize that I have a disordered view of my self-worth that might have developed hand in hand with my disordered view of my body/ my disordered relationship with food, but I don't want to stop. I just want to keep shrinking.
Anyway, back to the wallpaper, the text is self explanatory. But I think it works out because if anyone sees it or asks about it, I can say it's professional/school/work motivation. It can easily be seen as one of those motivational "never settle or give up" sayings and something that I don't think will raise that many red flags. I just wanted to share it in case anyone else was having a rocky night tonight. The picture isn't terribly high resolution but it's big enough for a phone wallpaper. It worked out for the size of my mobile screen and looks pretty nice. And since I carry my phone with me everywhere, I'll also be carrying a reminder of my goals with me everywhere I go. Anyway, that's all I wanted to say.
[Discussion] Once again, can we all acknowledge how TRIGGERING baths are??!
/u/lunartalk [5'4 | HW:165 | CW:118 |F]
Created: Wed Nov 29 22:02:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gjw7q/once_again_can_we_all_acknowledge_how_triggering/
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I fucking love the feeling of basking in warm water; however, I am met with a harsh reality when I plop my ever-gaining-weight body into the bottom of a bathtub.
Why do my hips go from side to side and suction to the walls of the tub? Why does the water have to pool up behind me? Why do I have to feel my thighs touching and my stomach protruding? Why do I have to look at myself?
Ughhh guys! This is so rough. Feel free to relate in the comments or just start a conversation about your day in general. I feel like talking to someone, and I have to write a paper. I need distractions :))
[Other] Do not assume other people aren't disordered
/u/inluvwcoffee [5'6.5" | 120lb | 19 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 29 21:45:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gjsov/do_not_assume_other_people_arent_disordered/
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A while back I posted on my other (deleted) account about meeting a new guy that made the occasional comment on my eating and size. This guy is very thin. In fact, he is the same exact height and weight as me except without hardly any body fat. After spending a little bit (too much) more time with him, he casually mentioned he throws his food up when he feels like he ate too much. (He is 37 and not aware of ed culture as far as I can tell, so maybe he doesn't consider it a disorder?)
Then all of a sudden I realized he is constantly suffering from acid reflux, his voice is VERY horse, and at least 3 times I have gone to the toilet after he's used it and seen what looked like left behind vomit. I didn't think too much into it and I've only purged (vomiting) a few times in my life. Moral of the story is: I thought he was a "normal skinny person thinspo" and I remember some people on this sub telling me his comments are not acceptable or healthy. **Ya'll were right!!!**
[Rant/Rave] My university finally getting calorie info in the cafeteria-the good and the bad
/u/shorty_pi
Created: Wed Nov 29 21:44:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gjski/my_university_finally_getting_calorie_info_in_the/
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It finally happened! After months of waiting and emailing the nutritionist (pretending that I really wanted to be able to track my saturated fat lolll) the cafeteria at my university got calorie information for most (not all) of the dishes. It's both amazing and horrifying. For the past 3 days since it's happened I've only been able to eat prepackaged sushi and soup lol. Finals are coming right around the corner and I realllllllly can't afford a relapse spiral, but I guess it's happening anyway! woohoo. fuck
[Discussion] Is anyone else afraid of dying due to ED?
/u/emolium
Created: Wed Nov 29 21:29:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gjpc9/is_anyone_else_afraid_of_dying_due_to_ed/
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Long time lurker, first time poster. Is anyone else here afraid of dying because of their ED? Specifically those with bulimia. I’m terrified after purging everyday that my esophagus is going to rip open or something along the lines of that and I’ll die. The sick part is, most of the reason I don’t want to die is because I’m not my goal weigh yet, lol.
[Intro] New here hello
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 | CW 145 | 24.1| -10lb| F]
Created: Wed Nov 29 21:16:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gjmmq/new_here_hello/
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Hello I am new, been lurking for a few weeks but made a new account specifically for this. I am 5’5 145 pounds and a BMI of 24.1. I have been struggling with my ed for around 5 years so since middle school and recently has come back full swing. But I’m determined to finally be comfortable in my skin at 120, hopefully I can make it.
[Help] Fasting support + help
/u/vctrlcs [5'6" | CW: 154.5 | GW: 130 | UGW: 115 | BMI: 24.9 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 29 20:34:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gjdp0/fasting_support_help/
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Just started my first ever 48hr fast! My longest fast so far has been 22hr. So I would appreciate any kind words, support, or advice anyone has to offer. love u all <3
[Rant/Rave] I've been MIA
/u/AngelicZero [5'5.5"|-39| UGW115 | 12 Days BF]
Created: Wed Nov 29 20:30:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gjcl1/ive_been_mia/
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I just have been struggling badly with eating out of control. It makes me feel ashamed and I don't want to show my "face" around here when I'm like this. :/
I went to the psychiatrist today and she thinks I have bipolar type 2. She prescribed a medication and said she thinks it will help me with my extremes and even them out. Including the desire to eat tons of food then not to eat at all. Same with my mood. I am going to research what she prescribed before picking it up. If I feel comfortable I will try it. She promised it won't make me dumber or change who I am.
Maybe I can also stop OVERREACTING.
[Rant/Rave] Don't know what to do next so I'm leaving my rant here
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 29 20:27:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gjc4t/dont_know_what_to_do_next_so_im_leaving_my_rant/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] [Rave] I think?
/u/iheartlemons [5'1" | 95.0lb | 18.0BMI | 27F]
Created: Wed Nov 29 20:21:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gjanl/rave_i_think/
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I wanted to share this experience with you all, because you're the only family who would understand such madness. I decided to kill time after work tonight by shopping at Marshall's and trying on "goal" clothes 1) to motivate me to keep losing and 2) to keep myself preoccupied while I would otherwise be eating dinner. I must have tried on 10 different things (from rompers to leotards) and came out of the dressing room keeping only a few. On my way to the checkout line I passed this beautiful, chiffon beaded cocktail dress from Free People that would be perfect for NYE. It was in size 0, which I've never been able to fit into because of my massive rib cage. It was also only $10.00, so I figured it wouldn't hurt to buy it without trying it on. My thought was that if I'm really good with restricting this month, I might be able to wear it by New Years. Well I got home and tried it on, just to see how much I'd have to lose before it'd zip, and it actually fit perfectly! I'm ecstatic. But then my ED brain kicks in and says "maybe the dress runs big, or maybe it's vanity sized". WTF is wrong with me. I should just be happy lol.
[Help] (M/5'5") I think I developed a BED after losing a significant amount of weight...
/u/Naathaann
Created: Wed Nov 29 20:15:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gj9gf/m55_i_think_i_developed_a_bed_after_losing_a/
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Hi, male 5'5" here. I just recently finished a nine month cut where I lost 40+ pounds (I went from 153 to 112). Towards the end of the cut, I developed an insane obsession with food. I would be thinking about food all day. I would do fine on my macros for a few days, but then all of a sudden (maybe two or three times a week) I would have a binging episode where I would eat everything in sight. On these days, I would consume around 3000-4000 calories total, which is an insane amount for someone my weight and would more than offset any clean diet I had previously that week. Even though I knew I should stop, I felt like I would get possessed and my body would just move on its own. My desire to consume more food would be almost as great as my desire to breathe. In addition to this, I would make up for it by "purging" so to speak and doing insane amounts of cardio (2+ hours). Is this a normal thing to occur after a long cut? My goal for the next few weeks was to simply maintain my weight as I ease into a bulk, but this is extremely hard for me to do without binging. I'm pretty sure I gained around 3-4 pounds this past week alone and I'm truly terrified I may gain everything back. Looking for any input, thank you.
[Help] My mom is trying to lose weight
/u/pieceofegg [5'4 | CW: 114lbs | BMI: 19.6 | GW: 90-95lbs]
Created: Wed Nov 29 19:38:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gj0jo/my_mom_is_trying_to_lose_weight/
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She's been trying for a while but hasn't made any progress. She's overweight and keeps calling herself a "fat fat fatty" and I just want her to be happy in her own skin. I want to share some advice with her (only healthy stuff, of course. No unhealthy ED shit) but I don't want her to be suspicious of how I know this stuff. Any of you guys know how I can share this stuff with her without making her suspicious?
Again, I only want to share healthy stuff with her. Like good exercises and how to cut carbs down and things like that. I'm not gonna tell her to only eat 500 calories a day or something. I want to see her happy, not struggling.
edit: I was originally posting from mobile and it glitched and posted this three times. Sorry mods, other posts were deleted. I won't be posting from mobile again.
My mom is trying to lose weight
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 29 19:38:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gj0go/my_mom_is_trying_to_lose_weight/
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[deleted]
My mom is trying to lose weight
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 29 19:38:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gj0e9/my_mom_is_trying_to_lose_weight/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] DAE lose weight to get back at people?
/u/bananahatrr [5'2" | CW: 100lbs | GW: 95lbs | 🍑: ladybugpug]
Created: Wed Nov 29 19:00:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7girr6/dae_lose_weight_to_get_back_at_people/
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So my friend and I used to be super close but now that we go to different schools we've grown apart a bit. She's making more friends and we don't hang out together every day like we used to. We both used to be self conscious about our weight (and we both still are) but I've developed an ED and lost about ~20 lbs and she's stayed the same. Now whenever she makes me angry or annoys me I think "whatever, maybe you have more friends now and don't need me but I'll lose more weight and be skinny and look good and then you can be jealous of me". Idk maybe this is a horrible thing to do and I'm a bad friend but it's how I'm thinking right now. Can anyone else relate? Please let me know I'm not the only one. Obviously this isn't the "reason" for my ED but it fuels it even more.
[Discussion] November 29th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 29 18:16:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gigxj/november_29th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What 5 words describe your mood?
(Sorry it’s late, forgot to look this morning. Better than 5 days late? Lmao)
[Rant/Rave] I’m a virus
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 80 lbs | 15.13 | -24ish | f]
Created: Wed Nov 29 17:38:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gi89a/im_a_virus/
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I’m so. fucking. tired. in ways no one who doesn’t have an eating disorder can understand. Whether i sleep 12 hours or 2, i am exhausted, and i mustn’t nap multiple times a day. Unfortunately this is usually at school, where I am failing miserably, because my brain is too foggy to process any type of information.
I can read a whole damn page and not comprehend a goddamn word of it.
I wore five shirts today- two long sleeve band tees, two sweaters. and a giant hoodie, but i was still too fucking cold to focus. So cold. I get so cold i’ve just been lowkey adrenaline rushing for days.
I have nothing resembling a social life because i am tired all the time and my body aches and my anxiety is agrevated by my ED to the point where i can’t talk to people sober.
Ive been driving my not-boyfriend absolutely mad lately with my jumbled ramblings about just how hard everything is.
I’m in hell and i’m making life hellish for everyone around me.
My misery is contagious.
My exhaustion and insanity spread through and leech off of everyone who gets too close.
I don’t just have a sickness. I am a sickness.
[Rant/Rave] Four days into my first real fast in a long time
/u/couldntfindquiet
Created: Wed Nov 29 17:29:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gi67q/four_days_into_my_first_real_fast_in_a_long_time/
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And I’m shocked by how easy it is? I don’t have to worry about food at all. I just keep going. Makes me realize how much of my time food takes up but when I’m fasting I’m not even hungry. This is wild. I feel so alive. Pros of having a lot of extra fat to burn I guess?
Candy canes
/u/CannonEyes
Created: Wed Nov 29 17:21:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gi462/candy_canes/
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I bought a box of the mini ones and 3 are 70 cals. Also 1 large one is 50 cals. It's a good way to get that sweet craving in, and hard to binge since they take awhile to finish
[Help] UGH! hunger headaches
/u/i-rate [5'5 | 120 | 20.63I | 21.2 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 29 16:56:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ghy1b/ugh_hunger_headaches/
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I get headaches obnoxiously often. Right now I’m on a fast and I feel fine otherwise besides this bitching headache and it’s really hard for me not to cave in. How do you guys cope with these? Exceeding isn’t doing much for me :(
[Help] Why am I like this???
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 29 15:53:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ghhth/why_am_i_like_this/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] DAE go out in clothes that are too loose to see how far they've come
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5'4" | 120 | 20.54| GW: 115 | NB]
Created: Wed Nov 29 15:47:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ghg61/dae_go_out_in_clothes_that_are_too_loose_to_see/
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Today I went out in a pair of jeans that were a size/2 sizes too big and honestly I was so happy that they didn't stay on my waist.
Could some tag as Rant/Rave please?
[Rant/Rave] Had a panic attack mid exam and didn't fuck it up!
/u/fiyacht524 [5'6" |CW 54kg |BMI 19| GW:48kg| Female]
Created: Wed Nov 29 15:35:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ghcze/had_a_panic_attack_mid_exam_and_didnt_fuck_it_up/
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So I was in the middle of a small exam that I had been really nervous about when all of a sudden I couldn't remember the french word for fireman - this leads to a fairly rough panic attack midexam...
I couldn't leave because I was in the inside seat in a long row, also the exam was a closed door one. So I kept going.
Came out of the exam feeling quite happy with my performance, finished the question and didn't freak out too much!! Yay me!
[Help] Isolating yourself from friends who also have ED's?
/u/skydiver89 [skinny fat AF at 5'4" and 140 lbs]
Created: Wed Nov 29 15:26:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ghasr/isolating_yourself_from_friends_who_also_have_eds/
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Idk if this is common. My best friend and I havent seen each other in over a month. We also have BPD too and PTSD. We're both cutters. I relapsed in cutting a month ago and she did a few days later,which I thought was kind of odd??Like did I trigger her to do it?
Anyways, I feel like since I'm only chewing and spitting food right now I can't see her. She eats when we hang out. But we haven't seen each other since I started this new habit. I'm scared to even tell her about it honestly. She is anorexic, but as far as I know has never purged at all or spit out food. I just miss my best friend so much, but I feel so guilty that my ED is worse now and I can't tell her. And I feel like crying because even if I did get the courage to tell her, I think she would just lose respect for me. I feel so weak and stupid and hate myself right now.
[Discussion] Curious to see what y'alls' pantries and fridges look like.
/u/HungryBunnyXXL [5'10 | CW 135 | GW 120 | F | 🍑 HungryBunnyXXL ]
Created: Wed Nov 29 15:16:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gh88n/curious_to_see_what_yalls_pantries_and_fridges/
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https://imgur.com/a/Ifv96/
Here's mine. Ignore my sad kitchen and it's dreary lighting. I'd normally have almond milk and vegetables but it's time to go shopping.
[Other] Does anyone else delete and redownload MyFitnessPal depending on how bad it’s getting?
/u/pushatMD
Created: Wed Nov 29 15:07:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gh5nc/does_anyone_else_delete_and_redownload/
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I find myself deleting it after getting too obsessive and then going to download it and that’s usually when I can tell things are about to nose dive back down to extreme obsessiveness again. Oi vay. Here we go again.
How Can I curve pms cravings?
/u/vitalogy95
Created: Wed Nov 29 14:58:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gh30z/how_can_i_curve_pms_cravings/
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My period is starting in a few days and I want to eat so much junk food. I almost feel like I NEED too. And usually I don’t have a hard time restricting.
I finally hit my 10 pound mark today and I don’t want to stop losing. What are some good ways to get rid of cravings?
[Help] Identify this Cracker (sorry lol)
/u/syntheticseasalt
Created: Wed Nov 29 14:48:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gh0b7/identify_this_cracker_sorry_lol/
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Hi so I ate some crackers and I don’t know the brand.
[here is what they look like](https://imgur.com/a/DdDOu)
They were very thin and I think made of rice.
You know how painful it is when you don’t know the calories of something...if you have any clue pls let me know 😩
[Rant/Rave] I can’t stop restricting and binge drinking
/u/periwinklecircles
Created: Wed Nov 29 14:26:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ggues/i_cant_stop_restricting_and_binge_drinking/
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I really don’t know how to stop. Potentially wrecking my organs on top of being deficient in all sorts of things. I’ve been living off of Red Bull, Diet Coke, cigarettes, alcohol and maybe hard boiled eggs. Losing fast but I’m so scared of the consequences. Cannot stop. I hate feeling ANYTHING. Unfortunately restricting sans alcohol makes me think about all of my issues.
I guess I needed to get that off my chest. Anyone relate?
Also - I really miss all of you guys on peach :(
[Rant/Rave] DEA feel angered by compliments?
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Wed Nov 29 14:20:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ggsga/dea_feel_angered_by_compliments/
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I work in a customer facing role and in the past month 4 different people have told me how beautiful I am.
HOW DON'T YOU SEE THE FAT. I'M SITTING DOWN FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. My fat is all scrunched up, spilling over my skirt and literally about to envelope you.
Seriously am I the crazy one? I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. I tried explaining to my husband why it annoyed me but I sensed a disconnect.
[Other] Had a fight with my boyfriend. I’m a shitty because I’m using it as motivation to fast
/u/CassTheUltimateBA [5'10 | 135.9 | 19.5 | 85 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 29 14:15:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ggrb2/had_a_fight_with_my_boyfriend_im_a_shitty_because/
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We’re *okay*now. We got reallly fucking high and went to Walmart for muchies. Little did he know I used it as a metaphoric last supper kinda thing lmao.
I’ve brought my Alice and wonderland tea to work with me and a cute little mug to tide off the food cravings. The struggles of having an ED while also being a cook 😅.
Plus, I should be getting a fuckton of coke tonight that’ll help me curb the hunger and hardcore cram study for my math final that I have to take by Saturday.wish me luck on that shit please lol. Time to lose like 10lbs in a week bitchessss. Gonna see how long this fast can go for
[Help] Bad breath...
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Wed Nov 29 14:09:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ggpms/bad_breath/
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Often when I skip breakfast and have a liquid lunch my breath becomes horrible. Other than living on breath mints is there anything else I can do?
[Rant/Rave] I freaked out over sriracha
/u/mintslut [4'11 | CW: 114 | UGW: 84 | -9.5lbs | F]
Created: Wed Nov 29 13:47:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ggjj5/i_freaked_out_over_sriracha/
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I have no idea what the fuck just happened.
I was making myself a vegan omelette (was good, chewy). Once I was finished, I put my omelette (on a plate) on my food scale to measure out 5g of sriracha sauce as a dressing. Only there was very little sriracha in the bottle, and when I squeezed harder, I got 8g instead of 5.
And I basically had a meltdown. I didn't eat at all yesterday, and today I held off until 3:30. I just wanted a decent omelette with 5g of sriracha sauce. But no, I fucked it up like I fuck up everything in my life and all I could do was screech incompetently (thank god I was home alone), and slam all the drawers and cabinets in the kitchen.
In the end, I wiped off all of the sriracha off the omelette and my plate and had it mostly plain. I don't know why I could ever delude myself into thinking I'm normal. I had a temper tantrum over 3 extra grams of sriracha sauce! I'm a fucking mess, y'all.
[Discussion] How to improve blood circulation?
/u/treedaniel [M 21yo 5'7" | CW 167.2lb | HW 188.1lb | LW 127.7lb | GW 140lb]
Created: Wed Nov 29 13:47:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ggjf8/how_to_improve_blood_circulation/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Anyone else obsessed with their grades/academic performance?
/u/cloudy_gaze [5'3" | 97lbs | 17.2 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 29 13:34:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ggg00/anyone_else_obsessed_with_their_gradesacademic/
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I'm in college and I feel like I can't enjoy it at all, because I spend all my time either studying, worrying about my grades, or focusing on restricting/fasting.
I have a sort of all-or-nothing mindset, where in my mind any grade than an A seems like a huge failure. I have one A- and it stresses me out so much.
And it all feeds into my eating disorder, because the more I worry the more I want to restrict and lose weight. This is my third day of fasting and I'm also studying for exams.
I know there's a link between eating disorders and perfectionism, but also about control. Gaining weight and not getting near perfect grades make me feel about the same way - like I'm a massive failure and I didn't work hard enough.
Is anyone else struggling with this?
[Discussion] In the middle
/u/serenityswild
Created: Wed Nov 29 13:33:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ggfoy/in_the_middle/
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Today is my brothers birthday and a week from now is the 3 years anniversary of his death.
I’m having a hard day ED wise because all I want to do is stuff my face and cry but I hit 141 this morning and am waaaay too close to the 130’s to binge too much.
SO, I ordered a medium 3x3 ( usually I get a 2x2, less calories) and a chocolate eclair. (
Together I believe it’s around 600 calories so far today.
I feel satisfied and haven’t even gone over my restriction for the day (1000).
How do you guys cope on extremely emotional days like anniversary’s and such?
[Help] i manage to restrict all day then end up ruining it binging but gradually so can’t purge and i’ve no idea how to stop myself
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Wed Nov 29 13:28:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gge58/i_manage_to_restrict_all_day_then_end_up_ruining/
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any suggestions or advice :(
[Other] Bruises. So many bruises.
/u/MissMagus
Created: Wed Nov 29 13:26:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ggdux/bruises_so_many_bruises/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] why are people such assholes
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 29 13:14:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ggaaq/why_are_people_such_assholes/
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[deleted]
New study: media has little effect on eating disorders. Genetics and peer influences have the biggest effects
/u/tortaway [i dont even know anymore]
Created: Wed Nov 29 13:10:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gg9bk/new_study_media_has_little_effect_on_eating/
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https://twitter.com/SteveStuWill/status/861030393406816256
[Help] can’t lose weight
/u/daisyhands
Created: Wed Nov 29 13:07:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gg88d/cant_lose_weight/
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[removed]
[Tip] Corseting Link for those who were asking... Way better than I could explain it!
/u/artful_heart [5'7.5 | CW 103.2 | GW 92 | UGW 88 | BMI 15.81 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 29 12:28:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gfwv4/corseting_link_for_those_who_were_asking_way/
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https://www.orchardcorset.com/pages/waist-training-101
[Rant/Rave] Hi everyone it's me, tryingwithmarkers. Just an update.
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'10" ☀️ attempting recovery]
Created: Wed Nov 29 12:04:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gfq0a/hi_everyone_its_me_tryingwithmarkers_just_an/
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Hey everyone, I have missed you all so freaking much.
For those of you who don't know, I started attempting recovery around two months ago, maybe less. I ended up having to unsubscribe from this subreddit and delete peach in order to be successful.
To anyone who is on the fence and is thinking about recovery, please reach out if you need advice or help. I love you all so much and I am so much happier now.
I really hope everyone is doing well <3
[Tip] Super Low Cal Recipe that can be modified - Balsamic Parmesan Roasted Asparagus and Tomatoes
/u/artful_heart [5'7.5 | CW 103.2 | GW 92 | UGW 88 | BMI 15.81 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 29 11:54:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gfn06/super_low_cal_recipe_that_can_be_modified/
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So I saw this recipe on Facebook today, and it looks **delicious** - especially if one switches out the Parmesan for a low-cal/fat-free shredded cheese or cuts it completely. With maybe a sprinkle of an Italian herb blend? Perhaps Switch it up and do a soy sauce reduction instead of balsamic vinegar...
Here's a [picture](https://imgur.com/a/0QDP8) of it - not mine; it's from the recipe post.
Anyway, here it is:
**Balsamic Parmesan Roasted Asparagus and Tomatoes**
*Total Calorie Count for The Whole Thing:* 350 calories!!!!
*Ingredients*
* 1 lb asparagus [85 calories]
* 2 cups cherry tomatoes cut in half [52 calories]
* 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese [108 calories]
* salt and pepper to taste
* 1/2 cup Balsamic vinegar [105 calories]
*Directions*
Preheat oven to 400 F degrees. Spray a baking dish, [the poster] used a 9x13 inch, with cooking spray and set aside.
Snap the end pieces off the asparagus and place them in the baking dish. Add tomato halves too. Season generously with salt and pepper and sprinkle the Parmesan cheese over asparagus and tomatoes. Place in oven and bake for about 15 minutes or until asparagus softens a bit and begins to get brown.
In the meantime add the balsamic vinegar to a small sauce pan and cook over medium heat for about 15 to 20 minutes or until it reduces and starts to thicken.
Drizzle some of the balsamic reduction over the roasted asparagus and tomatoes and serve warm.
*Edit - formatting, calorie count.*
[Rant/Rave] My ED took away my personality.
/u/redtopiary [5'2 | 16.9 | 21F]
Created: Wed Nov 29 11:42:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gfjsi/my_ed_took_away_my_personality/
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My whole day seems to revolve around food. I've been through a lot of crappy things the past few months and I try to do whatever it takes to avoid thinking about those things.
Like I usually will eat between 900-1100 calories. I plan three meals a day and they're all I look forward to. I've isolated myself so much and it's even harder trying to get myself out of the house now that I'm so fixated on my eating routine and trying to maintain control over it. I usually have to smoke pot before I eat to ease the anxiety associated with it. Sometimes I get so anxious that by the time I have my food ready, I don't even want it. But pot helps with that, and sleep, and general irritation. But it also makes me more numb than I already am.
When I smoke I don't actually get high, it basically just chills me out. Then in between smoking, when I'm in a normal state, I drink lots of coffee to give me some form of energy. I work 4 days a week and also try to do 1-2 things a week to get me out the house. But I don't enjoy those things at all. I feel so blank. Everything that used to interest me feels meaningless now. Even people, a lot of times. I just want to get out of this hole that I'm in. I feel so low and generally tired of life. But I don't know how to crawl out of it.
I would appreciate any kind of response, even if its just saying you can relate or sharing how you tend to feel most days. I'm really lonely and I just need some form of communication right now. Any response would mean a lot.
[Discussion] How much weight does it take to lose until other people start noticing?
/u/vitalogy95
Created: Wed Nov 29 11:28:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gffwk/how_much_weight_does_it_take_to_lose_until_other/
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I feel like no matter what I personally can never see a difference. If I do side by side pictures, I can tell, and I can feel my bones protrude more, but overall I just tell myself the scale must be lying.
Is there any rule of thumb for how much you need to lose for people who don’t see you often to take notice?
[Thinspo] You know that school stress is triggering a relapse when you find thinspo in your materials science textbook....
/u/like_a_living_thing [5'4" | 115 | F | 👽]
Created: Wed Nov 29 10:56:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gf6iu/you_know_that_school_stress_is_triggering_a/
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https://imgur.com/a/leOlI
[Tip] Youth berry tea is the BOMB// no cal and 2.88 for a venti :)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 29 10:56:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gf6gd/youth_berry_tea_is_the_bomb_no_cal_and_288_for_a/
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https://i.imgur.com/5MdNo3u.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Shout out to flu season
/u/ElectricWerm [5'9 | 134lb | 115lb | 23F]
Created: Wed Nov 29 10:47:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gf3v5/shout_out_to_flu_season/
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Just got out of a 5 day sickness/having a cold. Just the thing to pull me out of a binge, I didn’t want to eat anything, I didn’t drink any alcohol, didn’t really leave my house. When I did eat it was super healthy and light, I lived off of diet ginerale.
It’s fucked up because I was miserable and sick. But so happy I wasn’t thinking about shitty food and I lost 3 lbs. Even with Thanksgiving I can’t believe I didn’t go up.
Being sick is sick ayyy
[Rant/Rave] I'll never be under 100 lbs
/u/fimuckmylife
Created: Wed Nov 29 10:47:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gf3t8/ill_never_be_under_100_lbs/
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I feel like all I ever do when I post here is complain about things so I'm sorry I don't have more constructive things to make posts about but this is the only place I can find support where people both will understand and not judge me or try to change me.
I'm having an ana relapse and have been eating usually 400 cal a day, rarely more but with one 1000 cal exception never over 800 for the past two months. I know this has to mean I'm losing, maybe even losing a lot since my TDEE is roughly 1983, but I swear my stomach keeps getting bigger. I don't have a scale but I'm estimating my current weight might be between 140-130 ish (19.5 - 18.1 BMI) and it is nowhere near good enough. I want to be 100 lbs so badly and would kill to see two digits but I'm 5'11" and at 99 lbs would be a BMI of 13.8. I felt like death at my low weight of BMI 16.5 so I know that a BMI that low would absolutely land me in the hospital. But I want to see that number so badly.
I've never had any issue with BDD before but I'm starting to wonder if I am developing it because I swear to god my stomach keeps getting bigger despite restricting. Is there possibly some way I could be getting bloated and that is causing it? I do eat a lot of salt and have been living off garbanzos lately which can cause gas but I've not felt overly gassy. Do you think those things might cause me to bloat or am I just losing my mind and not seeing my body for how it really is?
[Rant/Rave] [rave] doctor just called me tiny. TMI because lady stuff.
/u/LunaticalPitties
Created: Wed Nov 29 10:27:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gey98/rave_doctor_just_called_me_tiny_tmi_because_lady/
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I had to get a pap today. I cry and have panic attacks usually. I did okay today. Just cried a little. The doctor used the smaller speculum on me. I didn't even know there was a smaller one. I asked why no doctor has ever done that before because it's usually super painful. She said they're really only for teenagers but she uses them on adults if they're tiny. She called me tiny. I'm not even near my goal weight. And the scale was broken so they couldn't even weigh me! I'm usually in the middle of a panic attack right now but being called tiny makes everything better.
[Discussion] How do people just go to a coffee shop and get whatever they want?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 29 10:19:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gew1h/how_do_people_just_go_to_a_coffee_shop_and_get/
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I'm at the one at my university and one of their drinks is 710 calories! How do people just order those things without thinking twice?
Edit: I didn't mean that nobody should drink high-cal coffee drinks or anything like that. Some of them are delicious and filling af. I just meant I'm always surprised by those people who order a 750 calorie drink and a muffin and are like "I've had nothing to eat today".
[Discussion] Sound-off for older users?
/u/mrs_sassypants [5'6" | CW 143 | BMI 23.17 | WL 0 | F28]
Created: Wed Nov 29 10:15:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7geuuw/soundoff_for_older_users/
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Apologies if this is way off base or people take offense, just voicing an observance.
I'm in my 30's (not that old, maybe). I also grew up in an area with the last arrival of the internet, so we were working off encyclopedias in school way longer than most of the world. I also was introduced to the ED culture and commiseration in the girls bathroom, where Your-Friends'-Weird-Cousin-Who-Has-A-Reputation would whisper about eating toilet paper to stave off eating anything when you think you're about to break. No one would admit to each other what they were, but there was a subtle competition. There is a huge information gap between what is available now and what we learned about then, especially as I took a break from trigger-readings during a recovery period. Now I go on blogs and it's all about the tracker-wearing and anagrams I have to look up. A lot of the people in chatrooms are *so young*, even though I know I would have been in the same place when I was their age. They are working off of knowledge I would have never dreamed of to become more efficient, which I'm not sure is an advantage.
Are there any older users on here? Are you having the same reaction I'm having, or am I just wine-talking? Has anyone been around to see the change in the scene I have noticed or is it all in my head?
[Discussion] I posted my ephedra source and it was removed. Really?!?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 29 10:06:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7geseo/i_posted_my_ephedra_source_and_it_was_removed/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Finally ended a 3 month binge. 3 MONTHS.
/u/onlyroom_forthin [5'6.5 | CW:don't want to to know | SW:170 | UGW:120 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 29 10:02:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gerew/finally_ended_a_3_month_binge_3_months/
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I fell into the trap of eating my feelings. Stressed? Get a burger and onion rings. Sad? Get a pizza. Lonely? Eat some pasta. And none of this was being made at home, at least then I could make things as low calorie as possible and have better portion control. No, I was ordering all of this in restaurants or as delivery. I don't even know how much I spent on delivery fees in the last few months.
This is the first time I've ever felt so out of control, but something clicked over Thanksgiving and I realized I couldn't keep doing this. I think it was because I spent a lot of time with an acquaintance/friend who weighs probably 30-40 lbs more than me and sort of encouraged my behavior. I realized that she was me in 6 months if I kept going down this path and I did NOT like what I saw. We tried to work out and she went for like 5 minutes and then said she couldn't do it and stopped. I at least finished the workout.
So I stopped. Starting last Friday I stopped ordering food completely. I didn't count calories the first couple days but I ate normal portion sizes and stopped eating when I was full. Sunday I started counting again and so far have stayed under at least 1200 for the last 3 days. I'm trying to step back down to 600, I just know if I do it in one big jump I'll fail and then eat my failure. I also realized I've been driving and Ubering everywhere for a while, so I've started biking/bussing/walking again as well.
I also haven't stepped on a scale in months (mine is broken). I'm TERRIFIED. I know it will be my highest weight ever, and I'm tempted to wait a few weeks until I think I'm back down below my previous high weight. On the other hand, I'm anxious because I don't know my weight and I NEED to know how much I'm losing.
Sorry this is such a rant. I guess I'm mostly looking for advice on that last paragraph. Not sure which would be better for my anxiety. Doesn't help that it's almost finals, and I'm leaving the country for almost 3 weeks in January to a developing country where I'll have no control over my diet and no way to count calories.
[Rant/Rave] "How did you lose so much weight!?" - I HATE this question [Rant]
/u/lileruneal
Created: Wed Nov 29 10:01:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7geqvr/how_did_you_lose_so_much_weight_i_hate_this/
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So my weight has fluctuated a lot in the last 5 years or so but I was at 140 pounds for about the last 2 years and after a recent reoccurrence of disordered eating I've lost 40 pounds since March and been hovering around 100 pounds.
This last week I've seen 2 different people that I haven't seen in a year and they have both asked, "OMG how did you do it?!?!? Tell me your secret!" And I obviously can't tell a casual acquaintance that it's due to my deteriorating mental health and starving myself, and that I'm motivated by intense self hatred. So I have to say "oh haha I just quit eating all that fast food and started working out!" "I eat lots of vegetables!" Or "I'm just so busy I don't have time to think about food lol!"
But really, losing weight is not some fucking secret. It's CICO and exercise and eating healthy. Like not only am I not going to tell you my disordered and fucked up eating habits and pass them off as a diet, but just google shit and figure out what you're supposed to be eating. Sorry, end rant.
I don't know how to handle this question, any pointers on how to deflect people prying into your eating habits?
Compliments
/u/anashelby
Created: Wed Nov 29 09:58:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7geq2s/compliments/
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[removed]
[Help] Tips on living with parents
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW:142 |CW:123 |20.6 |GW:110 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 29 09:50:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7geo18/tips_on_living_with_parents/
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For the past eight months I’ve been living by myself in my own apartment. I’ve been able to lose so much weight here since nobody is telling me to eat or anything like that.
In February I’m moving back home because I plan on going back to college, but I’m terrified of gaining. I also don’t want anyone to notice my restricting, being that I normally don’t eat over 300 calories. Before I moved out I would make a plate look like I ate something and put it in the sink to give the illusion that I had a meal, or I ate whatever my mom cooked for dinner and that would be my only meal. I’m just nervous that everyone will notice that I’m still trying to lose weight.
My mom is already onto me and has been saying stuff like “I hope you plan to gain some weight when you move back” or “I hope you’re planning to do an activity so you at least gain some muscle.”
Does anyone have any tips or things that have worked for them so that your parents don’t notice that you’re not eating?
[Tip] My Ephedra Hook Up I feel horrible reading you guys purchasing bronkaide from ebay etc...save the drive, and the risk. Here's a link to my hook up. Your welcome.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 29 09:46:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gemu4/my_ephedra_hook_up_i_feel_horrible_reading_you/
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https://www.vitasave.ca/ihealth-ephedrine-hcl-8mg.html
[Rant/Rave] Streak broken :(
/u/clovenpine
Created: Wed Nov 29 09:31:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7geisy/streak_broken/
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I haven't purged for the last twelve days.
Until just now, after my bestie sent me a link to a plus-sized clothing subscription service. The sizes go down to US 10, which is what I'm wearing now. Four sizes down, but apparently I still look "plus-sized" to a person who sees me everyday.
AND we don't have dedicated faculty restrooms, so I had to sit in the handicapped stall for an embarrassingly long time until the students left. They probably thought I was taking a fat-lady poop in there. AND AND, I'm out of antacids which means I'll definitely throw up again at some point today, after a day of only black coffee.
This whole thing is just pointless. Hope y'all are having a better time, wherever you are!
[Help] They want weekly weigh in's and I NEED ADVICE PLEASE
/u/cuttoarose
Created: Wed Nov 29 09:26:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gehfg/they_want_weekly_weigh_ins_and_i_need_advice/
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My team (parents and family therapist) is demanding weekly weigh in's. I have been steadily losing over the past few months, every time I've stepped on that scale the number has decreased. The weight I am at is normal by societies standards and I am very proud of myself for losing these 12 pounds. If they see a downward trend everything in my life will be taken from me. School, financial assistance, just everything that gives me pleasure and keeps me going. Just trust me, there is a lot at stake. So,
Option A: Convince them that weekly weigh in's will damage my mental health and that my weight should not be an indicator of my mental state. Please provide advice on tips on how to convince them it's not a good idea.
Option B: Convince them to spread the weigh in's out more (maybe once a month or every three weeks) so that I can continue to lose into the teens (I really want to be and stay in the teens) and just fatten up in time for a weigh in.
Option C: Agree and maintain where I am.
Yes I know that I can do the old stitch in weights but guys if they find out (which I know they fucking will) I am TOAST. So please, any advice please I need help,
[Discussion] Do you guys keep "bad foods" in your home?
/u/laurasia3oo2
Created: Wed Nov 29 09:17:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7geexu/do_you_guys_keep_bad_foods_in_your_home/
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I am just very curious. I do, because I live with my parents but I definitely would feel more comfortable if they didn't buy so much junk.
[Discussion] Does anyone else feel like they can’t lose weight in their face?
/u/arrrrze
Created: Wed Nov 29 09:13:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gedqk/does_anyone_else_feel_like_they_cant_lose_weight/
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I’m so unhappy with how chubby my face looks no matter what I do. I’m thin.. I don’t understand why my face just looks.. big?
[Intro] Planning to starve myself...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 29 09:06:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gebsy/planning_to_starve_myself/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I love being a lightweight
/u/i-want-to-be-little [5’1.75 | 112.5 | 21.53 | -32.5 | 17F/NBish]
Created: Wed Nov 29 09:04:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gebdd/i_love_being_a_lightweight/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I had a binge week and hate me😿
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Wed Nov 29 08:19:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gdzhw/i_had_a_binge_week_and_hate_me/
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Almost an 8 day binge period. I was doing so well for two months restricting. I hate holidays and excuses I give myself to eat! I can see my indentions of bones disappeared from how they were. I noticed a bit of fat on my tummy now. I hateee what I destroyed. Self confidence is so low. How could a week ruin me.
What have I done, so down... sorry for being depressed I just know you guys are the only ones to get it.
[Goal] Finally fit size 2!!
/u/alexxxxis [5'9 | CW:132 | BMI: 19.5 | UGW: 108 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 29 08:09:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gdww8/finally_fit_size_2/
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I ordered a pair of jeans on Black Friday in a size 2 so that it would be motivation for me to fit into them because I'm generally size 4 or sometimes 6. I received them yesterday and I tried them on just to see how tight they'd be but they fit perfectly! I know size 2 is not that great but I'm kinda proud of myself.
[Help] How do you feel better after a purge? It makes me feel so sick.
/u/quoth_the_phoenix
Created: Wed Nov 29 08:00:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gdudj/how_do_you_feel_better_after_a_purge_it_makes_me/
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I’ve been good about not purging (my primary goal in terms of ED stuff) for several months (whoo!!) but I just purged this morning.
Not bc I binged but bc I’m an idiot and took a supplement without fully researching it first. Turns out Performix TCP is not a good idea if you take antidepressants. I only took half a serving but didn’t want to risk anything so I purged it.
My throat and nose are burning (gross, I know) even after taking a few Tums. And I have a headache.
Do you all have any tips for “recovering” from a purge? Thanks ❤️
[Rant/Rave] inaccurate calories on mfp
/u/emhiimugly
Created: Wed Nov 29 07:08:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gdhq4/inaccurate_calories_on_mfp/
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okay so i'm so mad, like i don't think i should be this mad over some noodles but here i am!!
so i love super noodles. people thought they were an acceptable meal and my fitness pal said they were 264 calories. great! recently i've been pretending to have them for lunch and just hiding them in my room and today one kinda popped up at me, so i read the nutrition label and apparently they're actually 524 CALORIES PER PACK?????? i never eat above 500 calories (or so i thought) and this means i've been eating 250 calories extra than i thought!!?? i don't even know what to do like i want to purge a years worth of noodles oh my gosh.
have any of you guys had that happen?? like foods you thought were low calorie but actually were sabotaging you??? like i'm happy i know now but so mad that i've been fucking eating so many unplanned calories.
fuck you noodles :(
[Discussion] Exam/Studying Megathread
/u/takayl
Created: Wed Nov 29 07:01:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gdg6l/examstudying_megathread/
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I know a lot of us are gearing up for final exams soon, so I thought I’d get this rolling.
I’m a college student and I’ve been fasting/low restricting the last few days while also spending a lot of time in class/at work/studying so I’ll share what’s helped me get through that!
1. Study in the library. Not in your room, not in a cafe, not anywhere near food. Don’t bring snacks with you, unless it’s something you’re comfortable eating or won’t binge on. Not having food near me or in my line of sight makes a world of difference in terms of getting distracted or binge eating.
2. Structure your study time. I like the Pomodoro method but I also make a lot of to do lists to stay focused on the tasks at hand. I make a rough schedule and don’t leave room for food. Honestly, you save so much time when you’re not eating lmao so more time to get work done!
3. Use some type of distraction or appetite suppressant while working. I like cold brew, green tea, and gum and those usually distract me from food. I also bought this thing from Amazon called a miswak for teeth whitening and it’s basically like a portable toothbrush so if I’m in a private study room it’s super useful for that whole hand-to-mouth thing. I also c/s pretty often but that’s obviously not a great habit lol
I’d love to hear other tips from y’all, and good luck on upcoming exams!
[Rant/Rave] Food as a love substitute
/u/fLuFFLet0n [163cm | 53kg | 21 BMI | -37kg overall l f]
Created: Wed Nov 29 06:03:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gd3aw/food_as_a_love_substitute/
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In my family, a nice big meal has always been the substitute for showing love. As a kid, instead of spending time together I got food almost shoved into my face with pride and hit and yelled at if I did not want it (which almost never happened because food is my drug.) And after meal I had to shut up again. I sneaked around and ate the whole day because what else was there to do? And so I was a very chubby kid.
It got worse again. There is almost no connection anymore in my family even though we still live together, so the food drama is on a higher level again. And so is my ED.
Sorry for the messy typing.
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 29, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Nov 29 05:11:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gcskg/daily_food_diary_november_29_2017/
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This is a daily food diary thread for November 29, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday November 29, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Nov 29 05:11:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gcsfj/way_to_go_wednesday_november_29_2017/
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This is the weekly achievement thread for November 29, 2017.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Other] Looking for an Accountability Buddy?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 29 04:06:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gch08/looking_for_an_accountability_buddy/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gch08/looking_for_an_accountability_buddy/
[Discussion] Safe foods?
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 60.9 kg | BMI: 22.6 | -22.6 kg | 21F]
Created: Wed Nov 29 03:40:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gccor/safe_foods/
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I was wondering what safe foods you guys usually eat since I seem to only be able to eat ham slices without starting to binge on everything I see. Too bad I can't eat raw veggies (can't digest them raw) and I don't like them steamed...is there anything else??
So what about you? :)
Edit: I got more replies than expected, thank you all! I appreciate it :)
[Rant/Rave] Why do people constantly have to talk about food and why can't I control myself when they do?
/u/PM_M3_UR_SECRETS [163cm | CW 60kg | GW 50kg | HW 80kg]
Created: Wed Nov 29 03:26:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gcadw/why_do_people_constantly_have_to_talk_about_food/
---
I feel like people around me *constantly* feel the need to talk about food and their eating habits and it's fucking frustrating. I can't control myself when the topic comes up and I just start rambling and say a bunch of weird shit that I regret immediately after saying it.
Like just now, three really slim girls from my class (one of them is so fucking tiny, she literally looks like online thinspo) were talking about their eating habits and how they eat sooo much food and one girl asked the tiny one what she eats in a day and when she told us I just started rattling down calorie counts for everything and calculating her daily intake. Which is a really fucking weird thing to do. And I know that, but when people talk about food I just lose all sense of what's socially acceptable. Luckily they didn't seem to think it was that weird and were actually kinda interested in it, but if this happens too often they'll just think I'm some fat slob who is weirdly obsessed with other peoples eating habits (which is true lol).
AND THEN when I went out for a cigarette the two people I was talking to while smoking also started talking about food and their eating habits. It's like I literally can't escape it, it's not enough that I think about food 24/7, no, I also need to listen to people talk about it all fucking day. And the worst thing is that they don't see it as a big deal at all, for them it's just generic smalltalk and not a stressful topic whatsoever. It's so frustrating.
[Help] Any tips on how to lose your appetite?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 29 03:04:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gc6r4/any_tips_on_how_to_lose_your_appetite/
---
[deleted]
[Help] Managing Outpatient and Employment
/u/throatmealcrunch [5'0" | 74.2lbs | 15.26 (new) 14.49 (old)| GW 72lbs | F]
Created: Wed Nov 29 03:03:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gc6lz/managing_outpatient_and_employment/
---
So I'm beginning outpatient treatment for AN, which at this point will entail a weekly 1 hour session with a therapist specializing in EDs. I think as long as I do not lose any more weight, I can avoid anything more intensive than that.
I'm a full-time, salaried employee for a large corporation, and luckily, I have the flexibility to work from home once a week. This helps, as my appointments are near to home, and likely to be scheduled midday.
I'm not sure how much I should tell my manager and/or HR. I'm not in the habit of working from home, so I figure that it will be noticeable if I start doing so on a weekly basis. I will also have a gap of 2 hours during which I won't be available. While I don't think there will be an issue with my employer accommodating medical appointments, I don't know what I should disclose. I could say nothing, but if I *have* to work from home on a particular day and miss a meeting, I'll probably have to give a reason. I could let my manager know I'm dealing with an ongoing medical issue, and leave it at that, but I don't want anyone to think I'm dying of cancer or something. Or I could be completely up front, but I'm very embarrassed to admit to an eating disorder at work. I'm afraid it will erode people's perception of my competence. How can I be trusted with my work responsibilities if I can't even handle feeding myself?
Has anyone else dealt with this situation before? What did you do?
I'm in the UK, but not brushed up on employment law.
Do you have to completely cut out foods that trigger you to binge?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 29 02:56:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gc5i9/do_you_have_to_completely_cut_out_foods_that/
---
[deleted]
[Tip] Low calorie candy: "jols"
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 29 02:52:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gc4tp/low_calorie_candy_jols/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] DAE also feel like that disordered eating is the only real way to you lose weight ?
/u/Eviesa
Created: Wed Nov 29 02:35:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gc274/dae_also_feel_like_that_disordered_eating_is_the/
---
I'm finally able to fit into a US size 6 (EU38) ! This hasn't happened since I was 10 y.o, so about 8 years ago. This is the first time that I'm a "normal" weight for my height, everything I tried before failed, even my parents couldn't make me drop the weight.
Do you guys also feel like restricting/purging/etc is the only real way you can lose weight ? Like everything else is just useless compared to it ?
[Rant/Rave] "You look healthy"
/u/Ire_of_suburbia [5'4" | 85lbs | 14,6 | -53 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 29 02:29:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gc17v/you_look_healthy/
---
Fuck my life. The binging hasn't stopped yet. People are noticing. People are commenting. I want to die. 53,2 kg as of this morning. BMI 20. I swore I'd never be in the fifties again. Then I swore I'd never be normal weight again. Then I swore I'd never be in the forties again. Then I swore my BMI wouldn't get out of the 14s again... and then I shat all over my promises. I want to die. I'm so ashamed. Kill me please.
[Rant/Rave] i went to emo night on laxatives bc my life is a mess
/u/requiemforatardis [5'6.5| CW: 119 GW: 95 | all flubber | LW: 102.5 | 23Agender]
Created: Wed Nov 29 02:28:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gc12y/i_went_to_emo_night_on_laxatives_bc_my_life_is_a/
---
Pretty much that ^^. I took lax and Adderall and bronkaid tonight at like 7 bc i have four (!!!) essays to write so i wanted to super charge. But my friend called at 950 asking where i was bc i was supposed to meet him five minutes, for an event i thought was tomorrow.
My friend was pretty pissed, and i spent the whole night worried i was going to poop my pants.
ugh do not go out after taking lax
[Rant/Rave] Just a Failure (Possibly Triggering)
/u/kvikerdragen [5'6.5" | 22F | CW 117.0 | GW 111 | HW 182]
Created: Wed Nov 29 01:57:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gbwau/just_a_failure_possibly_triggering/
---
I'm just a fucking failure. I can't do anything right.
73 hours in, I caved. I couldn't sleep and the temptation of the broccoli cheddar soup in the refrigerator called my name so so loudly.
This whole thing started because my mom visited over Thanksgiving and confronted me about me purging. I was honest with her, told her yes I was purging pretty much everything I ate. She asked if I could stop. I said I didn't need to pay someone $100 an hour to tell me not to stick my fingers down my throat. I was angry and hurt so I decided not to eat.
I made it 73 hours. I was weak, shaky, couldn't sleep and also slept all day, constant headaches, couldn't focus, suicidal thoughts filled my mind, and I constantly fantasized about all the crazy things I could do to either land myself in the hospital or get my brother to force me to eat.
The whole scenario I expected to end when I see the counselor on Friday afternoon, he finds out I hadn't eaten in five and a half days, then either he forces me to eat and I do, or he sends me to the hospital for being crazy, or I guilt him into letting me go because interruption now would ruin my whole semester.
I ended up eating all the leftover soup. It ended up being close to four cups, which MFP says is about 1240 calories, which honestly is not bad when you consider how sick I felt after eating it all. I thought, okay, this is okay I can keep this down. I can keep my fucked up promise to my mom. Then I stepped on the scale. I was up about 2 pounds of weight from all the food, and I just couldn't. I purged and purged (Tip: It tastes about the same coming up as going down but the texture is really gross).
I couldn't even not purge. I don't even know if I'm capable of eating any amount any more. I'm so afraid of eating because I know that the second I start allowing myself food I'm going to gorge myself, and these cycles are only making that worse and I know it.
And now, after all of this, I foresee myself not eating again until Friday's counselor visit and seeing what he tells me to do.
I almost just want to give up and let someone have total control over me again. I don't even know if I care if my semester is completely ruined any more. The suicidal thoughts, as well, are becoming increasingly real. I can't stand to eat. I can't handle not eating. I can't handle my mom worrying over me, and I can't handle my brother letting me not eat.
I just can't deal with it all.
I know I've been making a lot of rants lately. I'm sure you're all tired of hearing from me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
[Rant/Rave] [rant] school is making me so much worse
/u/anya_kotenka [5'8|21.59|21F]
Created: Wed Nov 29 01:29:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gbs5f/rant_school_is_making_me_so_much_worse/
---
I'm sorry for the super vague title. I just wasn't sure how to summarize it all. I had been so good for months with not throwing up and counting calories, it was more of just a thought in my head. I thought I had even recovered.
So I'm doing a psych nursing rotation for nursing school and it has honestly made me relapse so hard and I don't know why. It is so difficult to have to take care of and empathize with people going through what I have gone through. I had to get hospitalized in high school and had a feeding tube from BN, still suffer from ulcers to this day, and I had 2 oral surgeries to take care of my eroding gums, I'm scarred, idk I am just a mess. But since being in the psych unit I have been throwing up so much more and questioning my own mental health even more so. I literally dissociate at least once a day and my boyfriend is getting so worried about me but I can't stop anything for school, especially right before I graduate and get my degree. I don't know. I know it is not school related because I love nursing and even though it is a difficult major, I never really would get stressed out over it. I naturally did well. But this is different, this is those years of torture all over again.
Thank you to this sub for letting me post this here and letting me get it all out. It is so hard to talk about with others.
[Rant/Rave] I know this is a common post, but how have I gained 2lbs?! It should be impossible!
/u/Fibreoptic_Calico
Created: Wed Nov 29 01:02:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gbnuj/i_know_this_is_a_common_post_but_how_have_i/
---
Total rant here. I've been in a bit of a binge cycle and I've reined myself in to 1200. It's a start. MFP have me at 1540 to loose 2lb a week (I'm really active) so I'm eating under that, and often under the 1200 by 100 cals or so. High restriction to get out of binging before I drop down again.
Yet today I've gained 2lbs. How can this happen 😩 My period is over and I've just come off birth control for a break (period issues, I've 'bled' for a month) I'm bloated, but bloat can't weigh 2lbs?! I'm seriously pissed at my stupid body.
It's not fair.
[Rant/Rave] Can't seem to get a grip
/u/dobelieveinbear [5'3 | 97| 17.6 | GW: 90ish | F]
Created: Wed Nov 29 00:58:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gbn3e/cant_seem_to_get_a_grip/
---
How fitting I type this so late. It's as if my whole life is in shambles, really. Oh hohoho.....
Gah, I don't know, it's been a bit of a hard time, but I don't want to admit that aloud to anyone real and personal. I guess I'll just go into a long-winded and almost incoherent rant for a bit.
Good ol' me, fucking up everything again. First, not taking my meds and getting super suicidal again, and then fucking eating everything in the last week. If I wasn't being such a piggy then I KNOW I would have dipped down to about 94 pounds by now. I don't know, I'm frustrated because I binged on fucking leftovers and cereal yet again and purged for the first time in months because I was so uncomfortable. I don't want to fall into another b/p cycle that will balloon me back up to 110, especially since I'm back down under 100 for the first time in about a year. I fucking hated my b/p period that lasted for almost four months. I felt worse than I ever was at my lowest weight. I cannot afford for that to happen again.
On that note, I fucking hate food-related holidays.
[Rant/Rave] My "fat pants" are now just pants
/u/desde-siempre [5'3" | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 26F]
Created: Wed Nov 29 00:40:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gbkai/my_fat_pants_are_now_just_pants/
---
I got dressed this morning and i've been feeling kinda bloated so i put on this pair of jeans that usually fits a little baggy around the waist and thighs and they're like skin tight!
i'm freaking tf out! i don't know if it's because i've been putting on weight or maybe the shrank in the wash? either way it's really putting my morning off. al i can think about is my enormous thighs in these jeans :|
anyone else have this happen to them? any coping skills?
[Discussion] How many of you had loose skin after extended restricting?
/u/champu-petal [5'6" | CW: 110 | HW: 152 | F | 🍑 champu]
Created: Tue Nov 28 23:32:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gb8me/how_many_of_you_had_loose_skin_after_extended/
---
I'm actually at my goal weight so this isn't a personal question, I'm just curious since everyone says losing a lot of weight super fast can lead to loose skin
[Discussion] What are you craving right now? (vs your current situation)
/u/diet247x [5'3 | cw: 133 | gw: 125 | ugw: 107 | -23 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 28 22:59:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gb21r/what_are_you_craving_right_now_vs_your_current/
---
Details please! Gah I'm practically salivating thinking about mashed potatoes made with tons of butter and greasy brown gravy slathered all over it. Also would like a huge bowl of full fat creamy alfredo pasta mixed with too much cheese.
Currently drinking a cold americano trying to end the day at 300 calories, not subtracting the 2 hours of hot yoga I just did.
PSA
/u/whimsicalfae776 [5'2.5 | 108 | 20.06 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 28 22:38:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gaxy7/psa/
---
[removed]
[Help] Blood in throw up?!
/u/coffeebean27
Created: Tue Nov 28 22:00:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gapsd/blood_in_throw_up/
---
I’m freaking out... there’s faint blood but I’m still worried. I haven’t purged since yesterday and this all of a sudden started. Has this happened to anyone else?
[Rant/Rave] Why must I emotionally eat?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 28 21:50:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gant8/why_must_i_emotionally_eat/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show
/u/ellezara [5'4.5 | cw: 208 | gw: 110 | -24 lbs | 16F]
Created: Tue Nov 28 21:31:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gajtx/the_victorias_secret_fashion_show/
---
I LOVE seeing this. I’m currently glued to my TV with a mug of steaming green tea. It’s living moving thinspo which I loveeee, I’m so tired of scrolling through Tumblr. I can see every angle with the VSFS, moving thinspo is the best. Not to mention most of the girls look happy and like they’re loving life which is all I really want to be. To think I was about to binge literally 30 min ago then I turned on the VSFS and now I’m motivated enough to launch me into the entire next year
[Help] How do you deal with weight gain without going insane?
/u/napalmlife_ [5'6" | 101 | 16.37 | F21]
Created: Tue Nov 28 21:13:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gafuj/how_do_you_deal_with_weight_gain_without_going/
---
I gained 3 pounds over break and I feel like a whale. The scale didn't go up until today and I realized my overeating was as bad as I thought it was. All of my clothes feel tight on me and I feel like it's probably in my head but WHAT THE FUCK i am panicking so hard, especially because I always gain weight around this time of year. It's all I can think about and it's finals week. How do you guys deal with weight gain? I can't cope...
[Rant/Rave] I'm an emotional eater.
/u/rainbowraptor16
Created: Tue Nov 28 21:12:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gafh4/im_an_emotional_eater/
---
I'm getting up to my highest weight again. I'm emotionally eating again. Here are the reasons:
* When I have a long day at work
* When I remember I have no friends
* When I get mad at my mom
* When I think daily, "well, I've already messed up so far, why stop now?"
* When I think about how my life is going to go from living with just my dad and I to my dad,me, his girlfriend, and her 28 year old daughter and 16 year old son
* When I see the guy at work who's friendship I ruined
* When I see chocolate
* When I'm at home
* When I'm bored
* When I'm alone
* Working at a grocery store and learning that a food is on clearance
* When I have no one to talk to
* When I weigh myself and ruin the rest of my day
* When I give up rather than put any effort
* When I see my thighs
* When I look in the mirror
* When I see myself with just my underwear and bra
* When I notice how big I've gotten
* When I tell myself I have no one to look good for, so why put in the effort.
It sucks. I hate myself. I want to be better, but then I wake up, eat breakfast, and then emotionally eat upwards of 5+ times throughout the day. I'm not binging. I'm not starving. I'm emotionally eating.
[Rant/Rave] I'm full of shit
/u/desaparecida [5'0" | CW:109lb | BMI: 20.0 | 25F]
Created: Tue Nov 28 21:02:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gad7n/im_full_of_shit/
---
Not in the figurative sense. I consider myself to be a rather honest person 😀Buuut... TMI warning! I haven't pooped for 6 days in a row, and only God knows what the hell is happening inside my body. I have been eating lots of fruits and veggies but nothing moved so far. I went to pharmacy nearby my job looking for a laxative a friend recommended me, but the lady was selling 2 small packets for like 15USD! I don't know why am I even surprised, that's the only pharmacy in a 50km radius.... she definitely knows she has a monopoly 😤
So I'm just drinking coffee while there is daylight and hoping for the best!!! Wish me luck!
UPDATE: It happened!!!!! That was veeery.... interesting
[Discussion] I want to try tea???
/u/almightylurker [5'1.75" | 126.8 | 24.3 | -88.2 | 20F]
Created: Tue Nov 28 20:54:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7gabjh/i_want_to_try_tea/
---
I see all the time on here about you guys talking about tea and how filling and comforting it is and I feel sort of left out. Honestly the smell of tea gags me so I've never tried it but I've only been exposed to that shitty grocery store bagged kind and I feel like I want to give it a chance. I was looking online and I ran into a site called Tin Roof Teas that sells loose leaf teas ranging from around 9 to 15 bucks for 100 grams. Any other places I can check out? Your fav source?
And the main reason why I made this post; what is the best type of teas to try if I've never had any before?
(Also how many calories are in different types of teas normally tysm ily guys)
[Rant/Rave] Chewing and spitting. Worried about recovery.
/u/skydiver89 [skinny fat AF at 5'4" and 140 lbs]
Created: Tue Nov 28 20:42:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ga8vi/chewing_and_spitting_worried_about_recovery/
---
Damn, now I just want to chew and spit all the unhealthy foods. Last night, I chewed and spat pizza and it was fucking amazing. I wish I could do it again.
I'm also a little worried about therapy next week. I do want to recover, but at the same time, I feel like they are going to tell me it's okay to eat a whole pizza every now and then. It's fucking NOT okay. It's just not.
[Help] I'm in trouble
/u/cuttoarose
Created: Tue Nov 28 20:35:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ga7e0/im_in_trouble/
---
They are so good. They are too good. They did all the math with the meal swipes and the budget and they know I only eat one primary meal a day. I must agree to comply with their demands. Nutritionist, group therapy, individual therapy, and fucking WORST, weekly fucking weigh in's. I can't with the weigh in's. I have done everything else before I can manage that but no no please no weigh in's. I'm fucked. If I cant prove I am sane I am out of school for the spring semester. I just cant with the fucking weigh in's. I was planning on using spring semester to undo all the damage Christmas eating might do. I cant do that if a medical professional is telling them every week that I am steadily losing weight. Guys I feel so fucked. I feel so fucked. Help.
[Rant/Rave] Weird as fuck thumb inspo
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 28 20:28:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ga5qz/weird_as_fuck_thumb_inspo/
---
I was just looking at my left thumb as I was typing something and it’s kind of bony looking, like it has this weird curve that I just noticed (everyone probably has it). Of course ED brain goes DING DING must make my thumb as skinny as possible!
I guess it goes along with the skinny dainty fingers thing but wtf my thumb? It’s not even a fleshy part it’s literally bone lmao
[Discussion] Weed makes me eat like I used to haha.
/u/kelch1000 [Height 5'4 | CW 130 | GW 115 | UGW 93 | 16/F]
Created: Tue Nov 28 20:19:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ga3nu/weed_makes_me_eat_like_i_used_to_haha/
---
Not every time I smoke, but if I smoke more than usual I can't help but fill myself up. It's like the munchies x100 since I'm literally starving. I had only eaten around 300 calories earlier today, and then at around 7 I got pretty stoned and came home and had a regular dinner with some dessert afterward. In total I probably had about 1500 calories today.
Do I feel guilty? A little yeah, but I'm not entirely sober. While I was eating I was still thinking about the calories in everything I had, but I didn't want to purge it all out. I liked the taste too much I didn't want to have it out. I know tomorrow I'm gonna want to exercise until I pass out but it was worth it. It was so good.
[Help] [help] My husband is losing weight.
/u/LunaticalPitties
Created: Tue Nov 28 20:19:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ga3ni/help_my_husband_is_losing_weight/
---
My husband won't eat unless I put food in front of him. He can't cook. He would rather skip a meal than even just toast a bagel. This man seriously hates cooking.
He won't let me make him a separate dinner than what I make myself. I had been making higher calorie dinners to get him to eat more, but I'm relapsing so I can't eat that stuff any more. I've been making really low calorie dinners and he only eats what I eat.
Idk if it's the lower cal dinners or if any of my habits are rubbing off on him, but he's losing too much weight. I can't convince him to eat more often (he says he's not hungry). He works out 3 times a week and has a pretty active job. I have tried explaining he needs more calories than me, but he still won't eat unless I make him.
[Help] To those of us who are bipolar
/u/mattsulli
Created: Tue Nov 28 19:57:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g9yke/to_those_of_us_who_are_bipolar/
---
Don’t forget how the season changes our moods. I just got hit with my first bout of bed-ridden cry all day for three days depression, and forgot that this happens every year. I had a session with my pdoc today and she gave me a script for Wellbutrin (bonus appetite killer). Reach out to us or to your doctor if the season has you unreasonably down ❤️
I'm so happy!
/u/DLWheeler0510
Created: Tue Nov 28 19:55:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g9xwm/im_so_happy/
---
Today I went over 300 cal under my goal for today! But with that comes a problem.. my close friend invited me over to her house for a "friends-giving "(thanks giving but with friends instead of family) and I know I won't be able to know what went into the food. It makes me so worried..
[Discussion] Help me enjoy tea??
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW:142 |CW:123 |20.6 |GW:110 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 28 19:29:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g9s0j/help_me_enjoy_tea/
---
So I’m a coffee addict. I could drink it forever but I know teas are so much better for you and more hydrating. No matter how many times I’ve tried tea I just can’t enjoy it. I don’t like the taste, but I’ve also only really tried green tea.
Does anyone have any tea recommendations or things I can add to teas to make myself like it more?
I also love things to be really sweet, and typically add a lot of sugar or sweetener to my coffees. Can I do that with tea too? I know nothing about how to enjoy leaf water
[Rant/Rave] [rave] EC stack (:
/u/idontevenliketeatbh [23F 5'3" | cw.165 | gw.120 | ugw. 100 | lost.35lbs ☕ ]
Created: Tue Nov 28 19:19:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g9pp2/rave_ec_stack/
---
I feel like a thread about ec stack is spam at this point but maybe that's because I searched the entire subreddit to gain info this past week. I had to share with someone and I love y'all, so. Thank you! Oh my God I feel amazing and strong. I don't feel hungry, I didn't know that was possible? I traded binging for restricting these past two months. It's been hard, very hard. I only slipped up twice, and that actually landed me at maintenance caloric intake, so not actually a binge I guess.
But EC stack, holy shit. I feel like I can finally attempt a fast now. I'm only going to stack 3 days a week (every other week probably) , with 1 or 2 primatene. I know you can get used to it so it stops working. Don't want that to happen! I just feel so good, I'm not thinking about food constantly because I don't feel hungry. I have a bit more energy. God I'm just a bit euphoric right now lol. *tips fedora* Thank y'all for the info this sub provides. I feel like i can manage my ed much safer with this sub than mpa or tumblr or whatever.
[Goal] 10lbs in 15 days
/u/kittencow
Created: Tue Nov 28 18:57:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g9kfa/10lbs_in_15_days/
---
went from 142 to 132. bmi 22.7. i'm so happy, i only allow myself to use the scale every few weeks. i know some of it is water weight but still. if i keep this up i'll be under 100lbs by my birthday. i refuse to accept any other alternative.
[Other] I’m super drunk atm.
/u/Whisper_silence [5'2" | 113.3 | 21(Fitbit) |-21.5 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 28 17:47:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g93e7/im_super_drunk_atm/
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Drunk enough that I didn’t title correctly so this is my second attempt. I’ve had the equivalent of two Zima (I’m dating myself a bit) but at least I don’t want to eat the chicken curry and cauliflower rice in front of me so there’s that. On the downside i can’t grade papers or deal with my husband. Ehhhh.
Love you all. Be safe tonight. ❤️❤️❤️
[Help] Plateau?
/u/counting-the-seconds
Created: Tue Nov 28 17:44:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g92nr/plateau/
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So this past month I kinda relapsed into my old habits (I've struggled with ana since I was about 11...I'm 20 now) and I've dropped about 20-ish lbs
Recently I've been stuck for the past week at about 149 lbs (my start weight was 170...I'm 5'8"). Thanksgiving totally fucked me over.
No matter how much I seem to restrict (my average intake being about 700 calories a day), the scale isn't moving. It's a little aggravating. Suggestions?
[Other] I’m super drunk atm. I have had the equivalent of two Zima (I’m aging myself a bit) on an empty stomach. And now I can’t grade papers or deal with my husband. But at least I don’t want to eat the chicken curry with cauliflower rice in front of me? So....there’s that.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 28 17:43:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g9294/im_super_drunk_atm_i_have_had_the_equivalent_of/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Fat girls don't become princesses.
/u/IttyBittyBatty [5'5" | CW 😱 | -21.8lb | F]
Created: Tue Nov 28 17:38:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g914k/fat_girls_dont_become_princesses/
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I'm Canadian, but I have an odd adoration of the British royal family. My friend and I have celebrated all their major events over the last few years.
Background out of the way, Prince Harry recently got engaged to an American actress named Meghan Markle. She's drop dead gorgeous. And as anyone who has looked at the UK news in the last few years knows Princess Kate is just as beautiful.
[Meghan](https://i.imgur.com/pmpJ0Qa.jpg) and [Kate](https://i.imgur.com/eQc4qZv.jpg). Notice something similar?
I know the realm of celebrity ~~always~~ is usually skewed to the thin and waifish, but now a days the royals don't marry for politics, they marry for love.
I'm gone full drunkarexic tonight, so feel free to excuse this for drunken, hungry ramblings. <3
[Rant/Rave] I got asked to lead an ED recovery meeting
/u/orgy-of-nerdiness [5'5" | 133 lb | 22.3 | -25 | 22F]
Created: Tue Nov 28 17:35:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g90j7/i_got_asked_to_lead_an_ed_recovery_meeting/
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So I go to recovery meetings to maintain my sobriety. The program is non 12 step, secular, and science based, and it's been really helpful.
My ED has always gotten worse when I've gotten sober. I'll be fine, maintaining my weight, not thinking about calories all the time, and then I'll get sober and relapse hard.
It's something I've briefly mentioned in meetings, but it's hard to talk about with non-ED people because they don't really understand. Like my brain doesn't try to convince me that I'm terrible and disgusting and weak for not drinking, but it does for not restricting.
I also worry that people are going to think it can't be a real issue because I'm still fat or say triggering things like suggesting healthy ways to lose weight instead, which feels like them agreeing that you need to lose weight.
Anyway, someone who runs one of the meetings I attend mentioned that the president of the organization (who is a psychologist) had mentioned considering starting an ED group during a board meeting, but hadn't brought it up again since, and that I should email him about it if I thought it would be useful.
The president is local, so I've seen him around at a few meetings and he knows who I am, especially after a recent meeting when I explained spoon theory (because it was relevant and useful to the discussion) and he hadn't heard of it and really liked it.
So after that meeting I worked up the courage to email him. I explained several reasons I thought a specific meeting for EDs would be useful, even though we don't have specific meetings for opiates, gambling, sex addiction, etc. He responded that he was open to the idea and asked if I would lead it.
I think I was pretty clear in my original email that I still struggle with my ED. And someone who has an alcohol problem and is still drinking shouldn't be leading a meeting. So I'm not sure if he realized that I still engage in ED behavior.
After debating how to respond I finally responded with something along the lines of "I'm not unwilling to lead the group, but I'm not sure whether it would be appropriate" and made sure it was clear that I'm not 100% recovered. ~~Tbh leading the meeting would trigger the fuck out of me and that's part of the reason I'd want to do it.~~ I'm waiting on his response.
(it's a pretty large and popular national organization... if you think you know the name, please don't guess it in the comments because I don't want this to come up on google if someone searches "[group name] eating disorder")
**TL;DR:** I go to recovery meetings for drinking. I talked to the president of the org about starting an ED-focused meeting, and he asked me to lead it. IDK if he realizes that I'm not recovered from my ED.
Any comments/advice/relevant anecdotes?
[Rant/Rave] How to lose a seven pound bloat in 1 day.
/u/lazylioness
Created: Tue Nov 28 17:27:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g8ygz/how_to_lose_a_seven_pound_bloat_in_1_day/
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[removed]
[Help] Is it okay to use milk of magnesia while restricting?
/u/vitalogy95
Created: Tue Nov 28 17:04:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g8so1/is_it_okay_to_use_milk_of_magnesia_while/
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I haven’t been eating very much which always backs me up and I really need to get things moving. Is it okay to take this while not really eating much? Sorry if it sounds like a silly question but I have health anxiety and I’m worried about overdosing on magnesium or something.
[Help] Ordering Bronkaid online? [Help]
/u/i-rate [5'5 | 120 | 20.63I | 21.2 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 28 16:39:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g8mib/ordering_bronkaid_online_help/
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Hey all! I live in a pretty rural area and I'm worried about going up to a pharmacist and asking for Bronkaid (and doubtful they'll have it in the first place.) Are there any online pharmacies that will ship them to you?
[Discussion] DAE hate when their friends lose weight
/u/cybermua
Created: Tue Nov 28 16:33:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g8l37/dae_hate_when_their_friends_lose_weight/
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Lol am I awful. It makes me so upset to see my friends losing weight. Even if they’re still larger. I have one that previously also had an ED (do you ever stop having one) and has been steadily dropping weight the last year or so. Like has lost at least 60 pounds or so. She started by cutting out meat, then dairy, and now gluten. To me it honestly just feels like a coverup for restricting as it’s unclear to me (almost 100% sure she’s not) whether she’s allergic/intolerant of dairy or gluten. I feel like she just doesn’t want to admit that weight loss is a primary motivator.
I hate that it makes me feel so angry and insecure. Outwardly I try to put on a supportive face but really I’m internally kind of like fuuck you. Smh.
TLDR; I’m bitter af.
[Rant/Rave] Why would I ever focus on the good
/u/ssfbgm
Created: Tue Nov 28 16:22:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g8i77/why_would_i_ever_focus_on_the_good/
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Two comments in the past week have stuck out at me.
“Holy shit you look thin!”
And
“I liked it when you were the fat friend”
And of course it’s the second one rolling around my brain. Now, the friend that said it didn’t mean anything malicious. She’s never even commented on my weight until I lost it and brought it up. But it still kind of stung knowing that she was always one step ahead of me and liked it.
On the bright side, I have some major motivation to keep my shit together and make no binge November into no binge 2018 because I WILL NOT BE THE FAT FRIEND ANYMORE.
I hate my weight restored body
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 28 16:19:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g8hji/i_hate_my_weight_restored_body/
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[deleted]
[Thinspo] [Thinspo] Honey Lemon
/u/Spiderclaw [5'3" | SW 130 | CW 112 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 28 15:42:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g87kd/thinspo_honey_lemon/
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https://imgur.com/a/9DozS
[Rant/Rave] Just feel like trash.
/u/filthypit [23F • 5’4” • 99lbs]
Created: Tue Nov 28 15:38:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g86m6/just_feel_like_trash/
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I have had this nagging in my head all day that is hard to put in words... not quite the typical anxiety/depression. Just generally feeling really down on myself, and honestly it is probably because of the scale.
I feel no confidence in my job, my relationships, the things that I generally love because I feel so unworthy of anything when I see that goddamn number. I haven’t eaten solid food today but it feels like I am completely fooling myself and that there is something I’m forgetting. The fact that the number is up has me feeling so full and bloated and sluggish. It is nervewracking.
I guess this post isn’t anything new here, but I am at least hoping letting it out will relieve me in some way. Hope you are all doing okay 🖤
[Rant/Rave] Nothing makes you commit even more than not fitting into a NEW dress.
/u/FluidHeadroom [5'3 | 157 | BMI: 27.8 | -3 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 28 15:00:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g7w41/nothing_makes_you_commit_even_more_than_not/
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I got a new dress over the weekend from Black Friday. Simple, Black in a Medium. I didn’t bother trying it on because I A. Hate dressing rooms and B. It’s a medium it should have fit ... but of course it was tight around my stomach and therefore that made it too short to wear to work. I was so pissed and put me in a bad mood for the rest of the morning. And my goddamn body dismorphia won’t allow me to get a Large. I’ll probably end up returning it and using the money for gifts for people which is the only good thing to come from this. And I’m more committed to losing weight because if I can’t even fit in a medium then there’s a problem
[Discussion] Daily Catch-All Sticky?
/u/nyny2017 [5'7" | CW 125 | 19.6 | HW 145 | GW 112, lithe AF 🖤]
Created: Tue Nov 28 14:49:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g7t3h/daily_catchall_sticky/
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I wonder if anyone else is interested in having a daily thread of just random anxieties, baby triumphs and NSVs, minor complaints, stuff related to other facets of life besides eating (lol as if there are any). I feel like I always have something small I want to get off my chest but most of it is too minor to warrant its own post, and is not a stats update, food diary, etc....
Edit: they have this, for instance, in r/femalefashionadvice as a weekly general discussion thread with intros and shit.
[Tip] Jasmine tea
/u/vctrlcs [5'6" | CW: 154.5 | GW: 130 | UGW: 115 | BMI: 24.9 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 28 14:32:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g7ok2/jasmine_tea/
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This might not work for everyone but ive found that when im craving chinese or thai food i just drink a cup of jasmine tea bc the smell reminds me of a chinese restaurants and it satisfies the craving!
[Help] Need help in knowing calorie count for a regular sized "lite" mango me crazy from freshens
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 28 14:19:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g7l1o/need_help_in_knowing_calorie_count_for_a_regular/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Feeling pleased about a relapse?
/u/eunhwan
Created: Tue Nov 28 14:19:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g7kv0/feeling_pleased_about_a_relapse/
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I've been 'in recovery' for a year today. Quit all behaviours, restored weight to around BMI 16/17 depending on the week. In the transition from home/treatment to back into society, I dropped around 5kg in a few weeks because I was suddenly super active and losing track of time/totally off my meal plan/eating the same things, then when I realised, tried to eat a bit more so I can actually, you know, do my Master's... But I'm actually pretty thrilled and I'm just like cool, I can live with this. This is nice. However, I'd rather not be a BMI 11 disaster, 25 years old and cowering in fear in my childhood bedroom over cans of chickpeas, muttering incoherently about avocados/suicidal ideation etc etc. Arguing with meal support over spoon sizes is by far the worst experience of my life. but I can't count calories (weaned myself off a three-week trip down memory lane) because I just end up with an 800/day limit and wandering around supermarkets in a daze, like it's a bizarre neurotic hobby. Fuck THAT.
AHHHHHH wut 2 do
[Help] Has anyone worked at freshens/ knows about their menu?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 28 14:18:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g7kqo/has_anyone_worked_at_freshens_knows_about_their/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Does anyone’s bf/gf act like a dick about your ED?
/u/chickenbitch_ [5'0 | CW: 170 | GW: 100 | -30 | 21F]
Created: Tue Nov 28 14:16:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g7k2h/does_anyones_bfgf_act_like_a_dick_about_your_ed/
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Has anyone dealt with partners acting like assholes? How do I ask her to be more supportive or at least shut the *fuck* up?
I've lost 30lbs in the last 2 months and my gf monitors all my food to see if I'm still "counting calories." I use my scale every couple days. She admitted to hiding my scale even though I only use it every few days.
She complains 24/7, but if I mention my own problems (BPD, PTSD, ED, etc) she dismisses me, rolls her eyes or literally ignores me like a child.
Yesterday, out shopping
Me, obv joking: "These jeans would never fit me in a million years."
Her, disgusted: "Babe, what the fuck? If you were that size, we would NOT be compatible."
I told her it was fucking shallow and if the jeans were a bigger size, she'd *never* say that. Of course, she shuts down again. Hello? Where is my girlfriend and who is this **pouty asshole**????
[Rant/Rave] A Rave, for Once
/u/kvikerdragen [5'6.5" | 22F | CW 117.0 | GW 111 | HW 182]
Created: Tue Nov 28 14:15:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g7jqc/a_rave_for_once/
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Nearly three days into my "Not-Eating-Until-Someone-Forces-Me" trip. I haven't had anything but water--not even a salt lick. Couldn't half put on socks this morning, had to leave Calculus because I had a massive headache and felt sick as hell. Smoke breaks are literally the only thing keeping my sanity in check.
But!
Since the semester is winding down, the convenience stores on campus are trying to unload all their stock. Monsters were 3/$5.00 when I was washing laundry yesterday, so I thought I'd see if they have any of my favorite today (Ultra Black is probably my favorite overall but nobody carries it because apparently black cherry flavors aren't popular??? Ultra Red is my second favorite and the ones I normally get.)
I stumble my way to the store, and the sale has now gone to 4/$5.00! I'm like actually super tempted to get 4 more because holy cow it's such a good price.
That's all for my little rave lol. It's just one little unexpected surprise that totally brightened my day.
[Discussion] Ugh.
/u/DLWheeler0510
Created: Tue Nov 28 13:55:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g7e4v/ugh/
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When i'm stressed I compulsively eat lemon juice but I usually don't eat when i'm stressed and lemon juice in an empty stomach isn't the most pleasurable experience... anyone else have a weird stress food?
[Other] I just binged and I feel relieved?
/u/little-paws
Created: Tue Nov 28 13:53:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g7din/i_just_binged_and_i_feel_relieved/
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It's been creeping up on me for a few days, and I finally binged.
Man I really feel shitty now, but also in a weird way relieved? Like, okay it's done, I don't have to worry about the binge coming anymore because it's happened and I can just log it and deal with it by fasting and super restricting this week.
Does that make any sense or am I totally strange?
[Rant/Rave] I hate christmas thanks to my ED!
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 60.9 kg | BMI: 22.6 | -22.6 kg | 21F]
Created: Tue Nov 28 13:46:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g7bns/i_hate_christmas_thanks_to_my_ed/
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I restricted pretty well to 300 cals today and then I went ahead and ate a shit ton of christmas cookies my mom just baked. And I wanted to weigh myself tomorrow!
[Discussion] What food do you eat before the gym?
/u/Jerrabella
Created: Tue Nov 28 13:33:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g780h/what_food_do_you_eat_before_the_gym/
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Currently on high restrict but I’m heading to the gym and after I went on Monday with no food before I couldn’t go for very long.
Do any of you beauties have anything you swear by?
[Rant/Rave] Hating recovery
/u/Floatawayinlove
Created: Tue Nov 28 13:18:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g73o3/hating_recovery/
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Hi, I've been reading here a long time and finally made a throwaway to post.
I hope this isn't offensive/triggering to anyone, but honestly, I hate hate hate recovery right now. I've been in "recovery" for almost 5 years. But the thing is, I still obsess about food constantly. How many calories, how many carbs, etc. combined with random binge eating.
If I'm going to be this obsessive over food still, like what's the fucking point? I'm even more miserable than when I was officially anorexic, and now I'm fat too. I would feel so much better just going back to how I was before. At least I was making progress then.
I'm really not sure why I'm posting this, except that I need to get it off my chest and this seems like the only subreddit where anyone will understand.
[Rant/Rave] I was weak. Literally.
/u/snaafuuu [5'3| 192.6 | 35.06 | -12.2 | 22F]
Created: Tue Nov 28 13:06:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g702w/i_was_weak_literally/
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So I'm having a bad day at work, and what do you know, there's four different cheesecakes in the kitchen to celebrate birthdays. I think, okay, I'm going to be weak and eat a slice and I'll hate myself later.
Turns out, I couldn't get the plastic cover off because my fingers were too weak, and I couldn't have a slice after all.
Talk about a win.
[Rant/Rave] It hurts to talk, yet I still eat.
/u/Kishin_
Created: Tue Nov 28 13:03:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g6zay/it_hurts_to_talk_yet_i_still_eat/
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My tongue and gums are covered in ulcers. I'm a bit concerned the cream I got from the pharmacy isn't helping. The one on the tip of my tongue is getting larger and more painful each day....but what did I eat yesterday? Doritos with hot salsa. I have no self control.
[Rant/Rave] rant (can't flair, stupid mobile)
/u/yaogauiasaurus
Created: Tue Nov 28 12:49:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g6vkg/rant_cant_flair_stupid_mobile/
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Having a shit day. My scale is inaccurate, my husband made me feel shitty last night (unrelated to ed) and then I sent my room mate out to buy me my pre workout drink and chugged it when he got home...... he got the wrong one. Ended up drinking 75 more calories I hadn't planned on... that doesn't seem like much but I've been counting hard lately. Completely unnecessary 75 cal because it didn't even have the beta alenine (sp?) In it that I like.
75 stupid calories. And it has effectively fucked up my WHOLE day. And I want to cry.
PSA
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 28 12:31:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g6qkh/psa/
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[deleted]
[Help] Probably the most non issue-issue ever....
/u/redelisd
Created: Tue Nov 28 12:24:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g6oi4/probably_the_most_non_issueissue_ever/
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So as said before I’m down about 35 lbs and yes it’s all v fun and good and I’m edging ever closer to a vaguely normal weight, but it’s winter and I’m too poor/scared to buy more clothes and all my clothes are for when I was basically probably the size of a small planet... it’s like, what’s the point of all this if I can’t run around in teeny clothes??? The fusion of my big ass clothes and having to layer up for winter is so demotivating ... I want people to notice !!! Also I’m too scared to buy clothes as I feel if I buy clothes I fit now I’ll be too small (fingers crossed) for them in a couple of months so what’s the point? Does anyone else get this??
[Rant/Rave] Feeling guilty even though I'm eating under my daily calorie intake
/u/allafternooninlove [5'7" | 125.5lb | 19.7]
Created: Tue Nov 28 12:24:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g6oej/feeling_guilty_even_though_im_eating_under_my/
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Hi there.
Rant here.
MyFitnessPal say I can eat up to 1200kcal a day, but I mostly eat 900kcal a day. Which I way too often feel is too much and I constantly feel guilty about it. Especially days when I don't go out and walk or workout at home. I don't know why I'm feeling like this. I live at home, so we often eat high calorie food but I try to mostly eat salad. But the dinner can be up to 800kcal. And often I eat an apple or an orange for breakfast or a couple of hours after the dinner because I crave something (read ice cream, chocolate etc) or feel so hungry I can't stand it.
It feels like I can't be satisfied or not feeling shitty until I eat 500kcal or less a day. And at the same time feel like I can't loose weight this fast (I've lost 6lbs this month). Because my mom complains everyday about how skinny I've become. And the boss at my "practice" work consider to take me to the doctor because I'm SO tired all the time. I sleep during the day even though I got 8 hours of sleep.
I still don't know if I consider myself having an eating disorder, but I feel you guys can understand my feelings.
[Rant/Rave] Fiancé approves of my disordered eating?
/u/platypuslost
Created: Tue Nov 28 12:17:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g6mj5/fiancé_approves_of_my_disordered_eating/
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Sorry, I don't intend for this to be super long but it might be.
I have just had a relapse of disordered eating recently (hadn't had too much of an issue since high school and college). I spent the thanksgiving holiday with my fiancé (we live together) and his family.
I noticed he wasn't eating much at all and he said that his pants are getting a little bit tight. So basically, he just starves for a couple of days (2-3 max), fits back into his pants, and is good to go. Which, fine. You're probably not doing any damage in a couple of days every few months. But then we ended up talking about how I haven't been eating much for the past month or so and he basically said that he thinks it's what I should be doing, even when I explained that I get anxiety if I go over 500 cals. He thinks that severe restricting is an acceptable diet plan, basically and just "doesn't buy" that its all that unhealthy. He thinks that if you're overweight you should eat as little as humanly possible until you reach your goal.
We've had issues from the start because he thinks I'm fat. I obviously agree, but I think from most people's standpoint I'm really not considered "fat". I'm 5'3 and usually hover around 125, although I'm down to 120 right now. Definitely not super thin, but most people wouldn't look at me and say "OMG what a fatty". But he brings up my weight every now and then and it seems to really bother him. He told me once toward the start of our relationship "well, I'm usually attracted to thin women". And that seems to be his attitude. That he tolerates my obesity, but is constantly disappointed by it.
I guess I'm just feeling really conflicted. On the one hand, it's really nice to not have to worry about hiding it, particularly because we live together. I can just say "oh, I'm not eating today" and he won't give me any grief. But on the other hand, I want him to care about my physical and mental wellbeing more than my appearance. And I feel like he really should know better. He's very smart and well educated, although not in the medical field. And we are not kids - I'm 29 and he's 40.
I don't really even know what the point of this was, other than I'm feeling very put off and conflicted by the conversation. Does anyone else have an SO that is indifferent or approved of your disorder? I had planned to stop at 105 right on the edge of underweight, but it really makes me feel terrible and part of me wants to get so sick and thin that I end up in the hospital just to spite him. I'm feeling incredibly fucked up :(
[Other] Yay, cinnamon! Shame I'm already using it and can't get even more fat-fighting benefits...
/u/dotprinceton [5'3" | CW 104.6lb | BMI 19.40 | GW 92lb | 36F]
Created: Tue Nov 28 11:23:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g67f2/yay_cinnamon_shame_im_already_using_it_and_cant/
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https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2017/11/25/cinnamon-may-help-attack-fat-fight-obesity-study-finds/894486001/
[Discussion] Does anyone else compulsively spend on food?
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | CW:131lbs | GW 125| GW2 115lbs | F]
Created: Tue Nov 28 11:16:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g65g9/does_anyone_else_compulsively_spend_on_food/
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Ubereats, postmates, grubhub, I just keep spending money on food, even though I know I'm not hungry and most of the time I don't even finish it or really eat any of it. Now I'm mad at all the money I wasted on food when I could have been buying clothes on Black Friday weekend.
[Discussion] DAE over spice their food so they can barely eat it?
/u/Jerrabella
Created: Tue Nov 28 11:10:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g63ny/dae_over_spice_their_food_so_they_can_barely_eat/
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I’ve currently got a bowl of risotto in front of me that I have loaded with hot sauce. It’s so hot that I can only eat one spoonful of before needing to chug all the water...
[Rant/Rave] The moment I realised I’m truly mad
/u/gciv_072 [Height 178cm | CW 50kg | BMI 16 | 18F]
Created: Tue Nov 28 10:55:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g5zdz/the_moment_i_realised_im_truly_mad/
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So I’m sitting here in my kitchen, spreading fancy linseed butter over rice cakes (I mention my pathological love for them way too often on this sub), just having consumed around 1700 cals and not planning to stop in the forthcoming hour, and suddenly realise that something’s wrong. I force myself to stop chewing and stand up. Oh, that’s one of my orthodondic elastics missing! (yes, I wear braces, no, I’m not a kid) I search all around my mouth for it and there’s nothing resembling latex inside. AND here the anxiety and the overwhelming urge to look for nutrition facts kicks in. How do I log a latex elastic band in MFP? What are its macros? Then I chuckled and went for another glass of wine.
Sorry for such a messy rant, I’m a little drunk and this seemed funny
[Discussion] Umm... where you at, Aunt Flow?
/u/light_as_a_feather04 [5'6 | 108 | 17.4 | GW: 98| 34/F]
Created: Tue Nov 28 10:54:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g5yyh/umm_where_you_at_aunt_flow/
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So I was supposed to get my period today and... nothing. I am usually very regular and have experienced my usual pms symptoms... to the ladies who stopped getting their period - did you still have period symptoms and bloating?
[Discussion] New to bullet journaling, anyone use a bullet journal? Favorite collections?
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Tue Nov 28 10:06:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g5lwc/new_to_bullet_journaling_anyone_use_a_bullet/
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I’m totally new to bullet journaling and loving it. It definitely appeals to my type A OCD spirit of organization and tracking. How do you use your bullet journal? How does it interact with your ED? Favorite collections?
[Help] Yoyo-ing
/u/baileysuzette
Created: Tue Nov 28 09:25:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g5asr/yoyoing/
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I’ve been bouncing back and forth between 115 and 112,5 pounds for the last two weeks and i’m going crazy I swear to god. Should I try to fast to have that whoosh of weight loss? I’ve never fasted before and tbh I don’t think I’ll be able to get away with it, but I’m desperate lol
[Discussion] all of my hobbies connect to my mental illness????
/u/ScrunchiesandDraino [5’8” |cw:250 |-25lbs |20F]
Created: Tue Nov 28 09:08:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g568f/all_of_my_hobbies_connect_to_my_mental_illness/
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so... I dont have a lot of hobbies (shocking!) But a few things I love revolve around my anxiety, depression, and my eating disorder. such as:
bullet journaling: I fucking love planning and rules. I set rules and to do lists every day and if i dont follow them I hate myself. its dumb but rules is rules.
reading: I wanna be seen as pretty AND smart. I also just really like the aesthetic of pretty thin nerdy girls who always have a book in their hand. thats not me but i can dream.
true crime: I NEED to know that im not the most fucked up person out there. It comforts me to know that there are people much worse mentally than me, and that I'm not at rock bottom, even when I feel like it.
taylor swift: not a hobby but an obsession and I would kill to look like her. I love having photos of her on my wall because she's such thinspo for me, plus since im a huge fan its not weird!!
obviously i have other reasons for loving these things but uh.... SOME OF THE REASONS ARE FUCKED UP!
tell me some of the things you guys like that can really clearly connect to your mental illness
[Other] Fasting vs. Eating Less: What's the Difference? (Science of Fasting)
/u/slimynoodles
Created: Tue Nov 28 07:48:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g4mkk/fasting_vs_eating_less_whats_the_difference/
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https://www.youtube.com/attribution_link?a=kqYi1ZDDsYI&u=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DAPZCfmgzoS0%26feature%3Dshare
[Other] Rant about nothing
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 28 06:47:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g48ia/rant_about_nothing/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] November 23-28 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 28 06:09:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g40qk/november_2328_question_of_the_day/
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Sorry I’ve been tooootally slacking everyone, I was in the hospital, stuff just piling up, etc. And awaaaay we go! (Wubba lubba dub dub)
23rd (Thanksgiving in US) - What is your favorite brunch food?
24th - Who have you recently deleted from your contacts/address book (I guess we could include Facebook?)
25th - How much water did you drink today?
26th - What 3 words describe your family?
27th - Who inspires you?
28th - What was the last risk you took?
Edit: thank you all for the hospital love! It wasn’t for anything ED related, it was due to a poor medication interaction of a new drug with my old drugs (bipolar). It caused severe vertigo and massively split vision. Like I couldn’t even go to the bathroom without a nurse supporting me and I was all over the place with a walker. But I’m fine now! The half life of that drug was 96 hours so it took a while but I am back to 💯 now! (Except the bipolar and ED lmao) ❤️❤️❤️
[Discussion] Effects of losing your period
/u/gross9876 [-16 lb | nb]
Created: Tue Nov 28 06:08:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g40ir/effects_of_losing_your_period/
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I missed my period for the first time and was super excited, but the Wikipedia article for amenorrhea is terrifying.
Has anyone experienced the side effects of early menopause etc.? If so, how long did it take for the side effects to show up?
What the hell is up with laxatives?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 28 05:56:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g3y65/what_the_hell_is_up_with_laxatives/
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[deleted]
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday November 28, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Nov 28 05:10:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g3py8/thinspo_tuesday_november_28_2017/
---
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 28, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Nov 28 05:10:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g3pxa/daily_food_diary_november_28_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 28, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Goal] Almost halfway to my goal weight, and I think people are starting to get a little bit suspicious.
/u/layceemachine [5'5" | SW:247lbs | CW: 166lbs | BMI: 27.95 | GW: 100lbs | 25F]
Created: Tue Nov 28 03:55:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g3d42/almost_halfway_to_my_goal_weight_and_i_think/
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My coworkers think I'm an alien because they rarely ever see me eat. I make the excuse that I'm doing some weird keto thing, but mostly I'm just restricting to lose as many pounds as I can as quickly as I can. Starting in June, up to now there's been a fairly steady decline. Not that it matters what he thinks, but my ex-husband even noticed and made comment on it. Nobody has told me to stop, but I've gotten a lot of offers of food from coworkers.
[Rant/Rave] It’s silly and sad, but I think you all can relate
/u/blerg1234567
Created: Tue Nov 28 03:40:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g3ari/its_silly_and_sad_but_i_think_you_all_can_relate/
---
I set off early today to cross state lines and buy bronkaid for the first time. The drive was set to be 20ish minutes. Whatever, I hate taking the freeway, but it seemed okay.
About seven minutes into my drive the traffic was slowing down. I hit my brakes, but the semi behind me didn’t get the memo. He hit me, I spun out, and I legit thought I was going to die. I spent at least an hour shaking in fear, then subsequently numbed my anxiety with alcohol all night.
I realized today that no one really TRULY cares about me, aside from my parents. They were on the verge of tears when I told them. Everyone else brushed it off (as did I, to an extent). But even when I blatantly asked for comfort I was met with crickets.
I’ve never brushed so close to unwanted death... and I’m learning where my loyalties should lie.
But I also feel SO guilty that this all happened cause I wanted to go buy bronkaid to reduce my appetite. (Btw, all I ate today was a yogurt).
I can’t stop crying. Mostly because I feel like nothing would really change if I had died.
[Rant/Rave] The limits this disease imposes
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 80 lbs | 15.13 | -24ish | f]
Created: Tue Nov 28 03:37:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g3ac9/the_limits_this_disease_imposes/
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And so upon me it forced the beliefs:
1) You may only wear baggy hoodies, shapeless sweaters, and men’s t-shirts
This one is part due to depressive tendencies and part due to my ED. I have become compelled to dress like a hobo.
2) Thou shalt never know the joy of eating with your friends. Or having friends, period.
I have a lot of weird-ass mannerisms, no thanks to my ED, that make me a bit of a bummer. One of these is my inability to share meals without panicking/becoming irritable/generally ruining my time and theirs.
3) You will never again be warm enough.
It’s only 64 degrees and I’m shivering so aggressively I popped out a rib.
4) Concentration is no longer a luxury you can afford.
Too dizzy. Too weak. Too preoccupied with thoughts of yummy things to eat and strategizing ways to purge said yummy things or trying to talk yourself out of eating them and so on and so forth.
5) Your free time now belongs to seeking or avoiding food and doctor appointments. Don’t forget a healthy dose of disappointing your loved ones.
Few things hurt worse than trying to explain to one’s family why one cannot *stop*.
6) You shall surrender constant blood samples for said doctor visits.
I look like I’ve been shooting up. With real bad aim.
7) You shall be forced to incorporate your weight/appearance into any and all other pursuits.
E.g. my weight loss goal was unmet so I’m too ugly to write. Cause that makes *so much* sense.
8) All of your money now goes towards food, zero calories beverages, breath mints, and caffeine.
All other luxuries are out of reach.
9) Your emotions are now law
The worse my ED gets, the less I weigh, the less I eat, the more I purge, the worse my head gets, and K find myself melting down over things like a single package of ramen noodles or a missing sock.
10) You now feel, physically and often mentally, like you are approximately 120 years old.
My bones ache and creak in the cold. My lungs struggle to satisfy me. My tummy is upset and when I stand up, the whole room spins. Also frequent falls and infrequent shits.
I know there’s a hell of a lot more.
I’m just too damn exhausted to continue.
[Rant/Rave] why do coworkers feel the need to comment on my weight???
/u/caffeineand_nicotine [5'5 | 123 | 20.7 | -55 | Female]
Created: Tue Nov 28 03:14:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g36v2/why_do_coworkers_feel_the_need_to_comment_on_my/
---
alright buckle in for a good ol' rant bc this shit has been bugging me for months. sry its so long, im xtra angsty today.
my coworkers started making comments on my weight a long time ago, like six months ago. just little "good job!'s" and tons of them asking me "omg how did u do it???" which is definetely the w o r s t nothing makes me more uncomfortable than hearing that question.
my manager told me a few weeks ago that "there's nothing wrong with being skinny; being skinny's fine. but girl you're so tiny the wind could blow you right over! and it just isn't *you.*"
multiple people have referred to me as 'skinny mini.'
one of my coworkers husbands saw my coffee and asked me if i got a donut too, because "it looks like i could really use one."
today was the worst though. through my shift today, first one of my managers told me point blank to stop losing weight and i look fine. *uh^ok^who asked u?*
and another woman i work with, over the span of about six hours, told me:
"wow, you're literally just melting away, aren't ya?"
"oh, you're probably cold because you've got no fat on you anymore."
"do you even eat..?"
"whoa what are you like, 95 pounds? i mean when you 'started' you were what, 130?"
W H A T T H E F U C K
P L S S T O P
just. wow. ok brenda thx. *ps u suck at estimating weight wtf?*
like on one the one hand, i obviously like hearing that i'm noticeably smaller, but i mostly really wish people would just not pay attention. or idk just talk shit behind my back idc what you think of me lol but i dont want to hear any of this from you??? i don't care about your opinion and i didn't want it???
of course i believe none of it anyway lol i feel fat as always.
i just want to hibernate and not leave the house until i'm skinny and when i come back out everything will be nomal and better and everyone will forget i was ever fat.
side note: i've been thinking a lot about how if it was the other way around and i was gaining weight instead of losing it, they would never confront me about it. they'd never say "wow, really packing on the pounds, huh?" or "you know, you look great right now, but you should really stop gaining weight."
just, fuck i'm worried they'll catch on soon. some of them probably already have and i don't know what i'm gonna do. but in the meantime if they could just never fucking speak to me about my weight ever ever ever ever again that would be gr8. :)
*thank u for listening*
[Other] I'm depressed if I eat, and I'm depressed if I don't eat.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 28 02:49:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g3321/im_depressed_if_i_eat_and_im_depressed_if_i_dont/
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[deleted]
[Help] How to avoid stomach shrinking without calories?
/u/UnapproachableTed
Created: Tue Nov 28 01:08:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g2nck/how_to_avoid_stomach_shrinking_without_calories/
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So lately I have been eating one meal a day, I force myself to eat it, usually mid-morning, about 400 calories.
As soon as I've eaten that meal I am in SO MUCH pain in my stomach, I guess because it's shrunk and then I've eaten a whole lot all at once so it stretches out. It makes me even unhappier to eat that one meal because I know it's going to hurt and just be unpleasant. I really, really hate that stretched feeling.
I have tried drinking extra fluids over the day to try and stop my stomach from shrinking. But it doesn't work.
Does anyone know how to avoid the pain? How do you do it? Eat super slowly?
I don't really want to split it into two smaller meals because I already have serious trouble getting myself to eat once. :(
[Goal] Those of you who were happy once you hit your goal weight, what was it like, what was life like after, and how did the way you felt change?
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Tue Nov 28 01:01:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g2m9p/those_of_you_who_were_happy_once_you_hit_your/
---
When I was at my LW, I had problems but I still remember feeling usually confident walking around. I loved how my legs looked in jeans and I loved how my shirts looked on me. That made me feel good l about myself. I was really going back then though (14) and since then I’ve gained a lot of weight and perspective. I’m trying to go back to that weight but no surprise I have some anxiety about the unknown about being back there. I feel like this time around, I do have a limit to knowing how low I want to know. Last time I didn’t.
So to anyone here who at one point or currently is happy with themselves at their goal weight, how did you/life/things change once you got that?
[Rant/Rave] Roommate stole my meal prep
/u/fivefivepointfive
Created: Tue Nov 28 00:50:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g2kdq/roommate_stole_my_meal_prep/
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I made a big batch of fried rice and portioned by eyeballing it into fourths to last over four days, so I know the total calories it adds up to but not per gram.
I got home and found my big container of rice nearly empty and not in my section of the fridge where I’d left it, and the rest of it in another container with my roommate’s lunch prep for tomorrow. I was just going to play it dumb and scoop it back into my container, but I noticed she’d added her own meat and vegetables to it too.
I wanted to confront her but she was already asleep when I got back and I leave early in the morning before she wakes up so I just left her a text asking if she’d taken my food... ugh.
[Discussion] My ED gave me the worst mental breakdown of my life
/u/papasumner
Created: Tue Nov 28 00:36:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g2i5z/my_ed_gave_me_the_worst_mental_breakdown_of_my/
---
Back when I was about 16, my mom told me (lovingly and with concern) that I was very overweight. It didn’t bother me that she said that, but I knew it would take a lot of work to get to where I needed to be health wise. Fast forward about a year, I had been running like a maniac every day like clockwork, skipping meals, drinking tons of water so I could skip more meals, etc. but when I looked in the mirror, all I saw was that same 260 pound guy I looked at a year ago. Even though I had lost 70+ pounds at that point, all I saw was a lost cause.
I came home from school one day to find my parents ready for an intervention. They told me I was spending too much time exercising and working my part time job. I was shocked and terrified that I would never become what I pictured myself as when I started working out. I needed to keep working. If I didn’t, no one would love me. I’d be a fatty forever. That’s when fight or flight kicked in. My anxiety was peaking and my head was spinning, so I decided the only way I’d be happy was to stop existing. I slit my wrist so deep I thought I was going to die on the spot. My dad came to the rescue, patched me up, and took me to the ER. I was referred to inpatient care for a few days. There I learned I had body dysmorphia. What I was seeing in the mirror isn’t necessarily what I actually look like. I could love myself no matter how healthy I looked.
You are not your disease. There’s hope for everyone.
Feel free to PM me if you’d like to talk
[Rant/Rave] "Normal" people who think under-eating is healthy??
/u/ForSnowfall
Created: Tue Nov 28 00:14:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g2eal/normal_people_who_think_undereating_is_healthy/
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I think most of us here are aware of the dangers of not eating enough, i.e. low blood pressure, hair loss, osteoporosis, fainting, organ failure, the list goes on. Recently, I've talked to several people about my ED (without directly stating I have a disorder), and they thought it was fine, or even COMMENDED me for being "healthy". What the actual hell? 200 cal a day is UNHEALTHY. It's kind of pissing me off, I'm tired of people's general ignorance. ugh
Edit: This guy just said it's good I think about food so much. On some level I get that I shouldn't blame people for things they don't understand, but it's still frustrating. Am I overreacting here?
[Discussion] DAE enjoy being cold?
/u/ForSnowfall
Created: Mon Nov 27 23:47:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g29mx/dae_enjoy_being_cold/
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Obviously from not eating enough. I naturally prefer colder weather, and I live in a warm climate so that may be why. But regardless, it just feels comforting to me.
[Discussion] Grad school and brain power
/u/krassota [5' 3" | 120 | 21.85 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 27 23:43:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g28v0/grad_school_and_brain_power/
---
How do ya'll study during intense finals (law school here omg), on low calories? I can barely stay focused and end up binging on pasta. I need low cal brain power; my first final is in two weeks (and I've gained like 2 pounds already). Also, I'm already on adderall and caffeine, so I'm looking for some more...natural remedies.
[Other] Thanks duo
/u/YoungAndBaroque
Created: Mon Nov 27 23:27:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g25v6/thanks_duo/
---
https://imgur.com/1RCyuJM
[Rant/Rave] Wtf BD?
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 60.9 kg | BMI: 22.6 | -22.6 kg | 21F]
Created: Mon Nov 27 22:41:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g1wns/wtf_bd/
---
I'm not sure how to feel about what happend 20 minutes ago..
Just to mention: I felt like a fat blob for the last two weeks and that feeling hasn't let up yet but, as I was standing in front of the mirror gettimg dressed I saw it! My rib cage. Or at least a part of it and it was still there when I put down my arms again. Let me tell you, with 60kg and a hight of 164cm I'm still chubby and I have a massiv stomach-pouch...and my ribs are showing? WTF? How is that possible?
To add to that, when I put on my black yoga pants my brain went like "damn those legs look thin!" no thigh gap whatsoever but they looked really nice...and 10 minutes later I look down and my calfs look awefully fat again.
I HATE this shit! Going from "ah, not bad!" to "what a whale!" within seconds?! Anyway, hope yall have a good day/night.
[Discussion] Not literally constipated but feeling chronically backed up?
/u/Brickly2017 [5'7" | 115 and staying | BMI 18 | -17 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 27 22:35:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g1vg9/not_literally_constipated_but_feeling_chronically/
---
I have this feeling that I'm constantly full of... shit. I have tried everything but I avoid actual laxatives (except for mag citrate). Enemas, mineral oil, probiotics, magnesium... I even had colonics the other day which made me even more determined to clear out. Any one dealing with this??
Trigger shows?
/u/mattsulli
Created: Mon Nov 27 21:37:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g1jcf/trigger_shows/
---
It’s always Girls for me. I cry on even the happy episodes.
[Rant/Rave] Worst nightmare came true with my freaking scale
/u/diet247x [5'3 | cw: 133 | gw: 125 | ugw: 107 | -23 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 27 21:32:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g1i9h/worst_nightmare_came_true_with_my_freaking_scale/
---
Ughhh it was calibrated wrong and I weigh 5 more lbs than I thought and turns out I’m not even close to being out of the 130s. I was SO happy being at 129. Guess I’m not eating until I’m back down to where I thought I was.
[Discussion] Doing it the "normal" way?
/u/mimidudette [5'8" | CW: 145 | HW: 175 | GW: 125 | 20F]
Created: Mon Nov 27 21:22:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g1g6k/doing_it_the_normal_way/
---
Hey guys, just wondering what your experiences with high restriction/"regular dieting" are (if any). I need to lose 20 lbs to be aesthetically happy with myself but I'm going to try to do it by eating 1400 cal a day, which I feel is probably normal for people losing weight the regular way, like non-ED people on 1200isplenty or loseit. Have you guys tried it? Does it work? Do you think it could help transition into maintenance/recovery/non-ED life? IDK what my question is really, I just wanted to hear about peoples' experiences because I'm nervous to mess it up but excited to "attempt" health or something like it haha
[Help] Low calorie packaged snacks that aren't sweets?
/u/fimuckmylife
Created: Mon Nov 27 19:40:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g0ssh/low_calorie_packaged_snacks_that_arent_sweets/
---
I have no trouble finding 100 cal packs of thin Oreos or yogurt covered pretzels and the like but I don't really have a sweet tooth. I don't much care for sweets at all unless I get a random craving. What are some good low cal savory packaged snacks? Preferably something with a crunch or protein.
[Rant/Rave] Binge Series Crowdfunding has Launched!!!
/u/ALonelySeaCucumber [5'6" | CW 139.6 GW 110 | 22.5 | -20.4 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 27 19:36:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g0ryq/binge_series_crowdfunding_has_launched/
---
If you wanted to help this amazing show take off, here's the link. They're already past $10K and I'm so excited😁
[Rant/Rave] I was feeling so normal
/u/notlion [5'9.5" | 21.8 | 24F]
Created: Mon Nov 27 19:24:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g0oxm/i_was_feeling_so_normal/
---
Long time, no post.
In a nutshell: I got a boyfriend and I went on the pill. Starting eating like a normal person. Ate myself to a healthy weight (aka gained weight). Then I had to go off the pill, and all desire to eat went with it.
I haven't eaten in three days.
Here I gooooo agaaaaain.
[Rant/Rave] Fucking massive
/u/fillebonbon
Created: Mon Nov 27 19:10:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g0lt4/fucking_massive/
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I’m at my lowest weight of 133 lbs. This weekend I found out I’m even lighter than my 14 year old cousin (she’s 140 lbs). But I still feel as massive as ever! No, this isn’t a super bad case of body dysmorphia. At my highest weight of 189 lbs, my boobs were 36/38 H. I’ve lost over 50 lbs but my boobs are still massive as ever - 32 G. I thought boobs were the first to go with weight loss. I’m literally the only girl in my family with huge ass tits. Why did it have to be me. Fuck. I want to be able to wear cute cropped tops and skimpy outfits without feeling like my breasts are hanging lower than the women on the cover of National Geographic. My SO says I’m young and my boobs aren’t that saggy. But he doesn’t understand that they will just continue to get saggier over time if I can’t lose enough weight to perk them up. I probably have a bit over 15 lbs to lose and I swear 2/3 of that weight comes from my boobs. Am I the only one who’s losing this way?? I feel so fucking top heavy and what’s worse is when I wear bras. I only feel comfortable wearing sports bras because when I wear normal ones my boobs either overfill the cups by the end of the day or they look even more massive because I need padding to hide my nipples (it’s super obvious when I’m cold). I hate my boobs so much. I don’t understand the appeal of big breasts at all!!!
[Help] thoughts on CLA?
/u/carlisam9797 [5'2" 19F | CW 119 | SW 130 | GW 105 | UGW 99]
Created: Mon Nov 27 18:44:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g0fmo/thoughts_on_cla/
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thoughts on CLA pills? I took them in heavy doses for about a month last year over winter break and people commented that I looked "so thin" when i came back but no matter how "skinny" I get I still feel like I'm obese lol so I couldn't really tell the difference. I was also exercising a lot more, I'd spend about 3 hours per day hiking, so it wasn't really a good controlled experiment to see if they work. has anyone else tried them?
[Help] best place to buy a food scale?
/u/kittencow
Created: Mon Nov 27 18:28:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g0bx1/best_place_to_buy_a_food_scale/
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i can't order online, it has to be a physical store. i only have 20 bucks... would this be enough? very very stressed right now, and i don't get paid for a week. does tj maxx carry them?
are cheaper ones even accurate? is this a major concern? i can't understand why some online are $60+
[Help] Simple, easy, low-calorie chocolate fix?
/u/theotherbird [5'6" | 140lbs | 22.69 | GW 125 | 29F]
Created: Mon Nov 27 18:26:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g0bij/simple_easy_lowcalorie_chocolate_fix/
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Hey, friends. Any recommendations for low-calorie chocolate? I've straight up been staring at a Hershey's Holiday Mint Fudge Bonbon Bell for 20 minutes, debating whether or not to eat it. Because I want chocolate. But it's 50 calories for one damn piece. And it does not seem worth it. And I'm also nervous eating it will send me down a chocolate-gobbling wormhole and I'll devour the whole bag. (I'm at 645 calories for the day, which feels so good after Thanksgiving week bingeing, and I don't want to wreck it.)
Help? Ideally, something similarly packaged--just unwrap and eat. I.e. those Dole Dippers frozen chocolate strawberry things, which sound amazing but which I've been unable to get my hands on yet.
<3
(Also, please let me know (and forgive me) if I flaired this incorrectly--I'm pretty new here, and wasn't sure between Help/Discussion/Tip.)
[Discussion] Eating the same thing every day for a week?
/u/ryder-chan
Created: Mon Nov 27 17:59:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7g04vn/eating_the_same_thing_every_day_for_a_week/
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I just spent like two hours adding/subtracting food to MFP to get as close to my macros as possible... I'm seriously considering eating the same meals every day for a week instead of worrying about messing with MFP and macros every day. I suppose it seems a little like meal prepping, just with *every* meal. Then after I finish one week, I'll create a new "plan".
Has anyone else ever done that? In theory it sounds really easy, but there's probably something I haven't thought of, lol.
[Rant/Rave] Note to self: don't bring up calories, ever
/u/circuitghost [5'9" | SW: 173 | CW: 144 | GW: 127 | 🍑roboghost]
Created: Mon Nov 27 16:59:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fzqci/note_to_self_dont_bring_up_calories_ever/
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Today I was talking with a coworker about my food habits. I cook only once or twice a week, because I eat the same thing nearly every day and just make a lot and portion it out to 215 kcal per meal. My coworker wanted to get my recipe, but when I sent it to him I started talking about how many calories are in a portion based on my ingredient volumes divided for a full week of meals... Do normal people count calories like that? What's considered normal for lunch calorie counts?
My coworkers have noticed my weight loss, but I don't want to put up any red flags so I went on as if I usually eat more for the day than that. I know at least one coworker used to have an eating disorder, so I'm trying really hard to act normal around her... Sighhhhh
[Help] [don't] eat - pray - love ?
/u/LOdowwnlorettabrown
Created: Mon Nov 27 16:46:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fzn6i/dont_eat_pray_love/
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oy, so i am taking my first solo, international trip to paris on wednesday. this is such a monumental trip for me because i have been yearning to go to paris since i was a little girl; literally obsessed. i have to say i am a bit concerned for me and my old pal ED. I want to enjoy myself but not come home gaining 10 lbs. i am planning to walk most place and am sure to bring my running shoes along so i can keep up with exercise and maybe go to some fitness classes while i am there too, but who knows. anyone have advice on how to have a good time without making everything about consumption? it's funny bc literally the only places i made lists of as to where i want to go were restaurants (and shopping, of course), but dios mio someone help me to stay at an equilibrium with my food while travelling. thinking cooking may be a good option most evenings too??? ALSO, if you have hot tips on where to go in paris TELL ME.
[Discussion] And so it begins again....
/u/light_as_a_feather04 [5'6 | 108 | 17.4 | GW: 98| 34/F]
Created: Mon Nov 27 16:46:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fzn19/and_so_it_begins_again/
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I’m home from work, starving and I’m too afraid to eat anything. Every day after work this internal struggle begins. The hunger gets unbearable and I smoke a bowl to chill the fuck out. I finally relax enough to eat an Amy’s burrito (one of my safe foods at 240 cals for the entire burrito and it’s filling). Except today I’m still panicking over my safe foods. I feel so bloated and gross. I just wish I could snap my fingers, feel full and go about my evening
[Support] Why do I bother eating anything anymore
/u/raspberryfleur [5'6 | 120 | 19.2 | -52 | Female]
Created: Mon Nov 27 16:21:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fzgqo/support_why_do_i_bother_eating_anything_anymore/
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I don't feel like keeping myself alive anymore. Ever since I dropped out of college due to a strike that lasted 35 days.
Previously, I was in a prep program for Nursing. It was my ticket to finally becoming a nurse since I didn't take the proper programs in high school. Other than an online school which had no teacher support and my work schedule couldn't fit in night school.
I was doing well too, until the strike. I still studied and handed in assignments. Then when I finally came back, the workload was accelerated too much. Before I had accommodations so that I could handle the work, and now thanks to the fucking strike they can't accommodate me. I don't even feel like fighting them. I tried to keep up but what they wanted vs. what I could give wasn't good enough.
So, I had 4-6 assignments due each week, and a midterm/test/final due each week all up until January. And like a weakling, I knew I couldn't handle it. I withdrew from the program.
My mom wouldn't talk to me for a few days she was so upset. I'm not even sure if i'm allowed back home. I did everything I could to go to college. All that overtime at my old job. I sold my car because I couldn't afford it at college. My friends, boyfriend and old job are all 100km+ away.
All I have is myself to depend on. I got a job and reluctantly, am trying online school in the meantime. It's accredited by the government and every college/university takes those credits. You can apply to school with them.
I also got a shitty factory job. It's full time and pays the bills. Hate it so much though. I haven't eaten since Saturday. And before that, I didn't eat from Monday-Thursday.
Why do I even try. I'm a failure at everything I do. I'm not even worth keeping alive some days I feel. All I can do is slowly starve. At least the hunger pains give me something to focus on other than being an utter failure. I'm good at being skinny. At least I can be good at that.
edit; i cant even find the stupid button to fucking flair i hate myself
It’s amazing to me that I can drink a 12 oz flavored latte, bike almost five miles with a trailer lugging a 23 lb child and my backpack, yet come home filled with shame and at a loss with what to eat for dinner ALL because of aforementioned latte.
/u/dbt-girl [5'2" | 119 ]
Created: Mon Nov 27 15:48:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fz8b2/its_amazing_to_me_that_i_can_drink_a_12_oz/
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Like wtf, who lives like this.
Why do I feel such shame?
Why can’t I have the latte AND dinner?
Ok truth, I want McDonalds. But I’m not doing it.
I have no idea what to eat now 😢
[Rant/Rave] I'm a fucking failure, a fake and really messed up
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 57.1kg | BMI 18.86 |- 15kg | GW 52kg | 24F]
Created: Mon Nov 27 15:34:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fz4vl/im_a_fucking_failure_a_fake_and_really_messed_up/
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I'm still hovering around 57.5kg and it's killing me. In August I reached 56kg and then I moved country and shot up to 60, got back down to 57.5. I've lost my period for two months now and I want it to be from being underweight but I'm NOT underweight. My body is like 18.9 BMI or something. It's probably stress.
I have retained water this week, and I'm just so tired of eating 1000kcal a day, my FitBit TDEE being 2200 most days (on days I don't walk much it's around 1800), bingeing once I get to a lower weight and then going through the whole cycle again.
I am in a country where there's not a lot of fresh produce, so I'm eating Subway (practising my language skills at least) veggie delite footlongs once a day (460kcal) and then making the rest up with apples and kitkats. I end up at around 1000-1100 kcal.
I feel like a failure. Surely I should be existing on carrot sticks and lettuce leaves? I am not a glamorous ED girl. I am not a pretty girl. I am not a girl that has her life together. I spent the whole evening watching Stranger Things and learning Georgian. Surely we're supposed to be perfectionists? Because I'm a work-shy slob.
I'm an insomniac, I have no self control and I'm very clearly not mentally well, but I wish I could waste away so people would stop thinking they could help me.
I just want to be 50 fucking kg and the first 16kg came off so easily, so why won't the last measly 7?
[Intro] first post?
/u/satanic-sloth
Created: Mon Nov 27 15:22:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fz1qi/first_post/
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so uhh idk how to do this but...long time lurker here
***if you want to skip my backstory scroll to the flowers below if you have any advice***
basically ive had an ed since 7th grade, though not diagnosed. towards the end of 6th grade i noticed that i was like kinda big. i was 1 pound overweight according to my bmi and that pushed me over the edge. i was 5’6 and 155 pounds—lots of muscle from sports, but that number was way too high for me. i couldnt be “overweight”. so that summer i only ate dinner and dropped down to about 130. throughout 7th grade i began tracking my calories and by the end of jr.high i was around 125 pounds. freshman year of high school was when it got bad. i ate a very small amount of calories, tracking everything: 3 grapes, half a piece of gum, 2 tic tacs, etc. i got down to my lowest ever: 110.8 pounds. officially i was underweight. towards the end of freshman year i began binging after school and was 120 by the beginning of summer. beginning of sophomore year: 125. it began spiraling out of control. i would binge and restrict losing and gaining the same 5 pounds. ive been abusing lax for years and i use it almost every day to try to make up for my binges (yes i know it does nothing amd ruins your body) this year i am a junior. we moved a few months ago and our scale broke on the way. we just got a new one yesterday and its the highest my weight has been in years. 138 pounds. i couldn’t believe it. i just cried. ive been binging terribly since thanksgiving and i just want to sew my mouth shut.
🌹🌺🌷🌸🌼🌻
so basically im just very upset and asking for any advice. i need to get back to my lowest before may (prom). if i restrict, i binge; if i eat, i binge. my jeans are getting tighter and im running out of time. people are noticing my weight gain. im vegan so i can get away with restricting a lot, making a low calorie meal look like a lot. i just dont know what to do. i recently started taking sertraline and weight gain is a side effect. i dont want to stop it because this is the most mentally stable ive ever felt, but if it will help me to lose the weight ive gained and get back on my feet, then that might be what i need to do. i dont know why ive just now decided to post, but i currently cant even look at my own reflection and something needs to change.
[Rant/Rave] gained weight and now I feel like I will be fat forever..
/u/littlejanedoe- [5'1" |CW:127lbs | GW:115lbs | F]
Created: Mon Nov 27 15:14:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fyzjy/gained_weight_and_now_i_feel_like_i_will_be_fat/
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Every fucking time I do this... I am not even shocked at this point. Just over a week ago I hit a new lowest weight(121lbs)! I was so happy I hadn't seen that number in years. Then the repeat cycle started.... hit a target weight.. I am now 127lbs because my un disciplined fat ass always self sabotages. I was on track to hit my goal weight by my birthday (a month away) I only had 6 more lbs to go.. now I have 12lbs and that seems impossible. I am so defeated... I did 2 24hr fasts over the weekend to try and correct this mess but it didn't help. The scale didn't move.
And just to add on to my stress the workouts I have been doing have turned me into a square. That's right no beautiful curves or hip bones. I am straight up and down... but still chubby. How does this even work ?!
[Discussion] Dae step on and off the scale multiple times?
/u/PenMorrisek
Created: Mon Nov 27 15:07:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fyxko/dae_step_on_and_off_the_scale_multiple_times/
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So I do this because I don't trust the first number to come up. And it does fluctuate sometimes so I have to weigh at least 5 times. Am I the only one?
[Other] Thanksgiving success!
/u/fluffyfinaland
Created: Mon Nov 27 14:55:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fyueo/thanksgiving_success/
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Like everyone else, I was super worried about Thanksgiving. It didn't help that my best friend's golden birthday was on Wednesday, so Tuesday night I drove two hours back home to celebrate with her and go drinking (and made sure to save my calories so I could drink and not be too worried about it). Luckily I was able to make myself throw up partially from being drunk/partially to get rid of calories (I don't ever purge food, but purging alcohol is beneficial anyway).
Then Wednesday night, my bf's dad had a get together at his place and that side of the family really likes to drink, so I ended up drinking there, avoiding the snacks they had out, and throwing up by the end of the night purely from drinking too much.
Theeeen of course, the dreaded Thanksgiving. It was even worse because I usually hate Thanksgiving because I don't get along with my family so I've actually skipped it the past four years. I LOVE my bf's dad's family, so I wanted to actually be social and enjoy the food they made (which they had a lot of vegetarian stuff which never happens and it was all SO good). We ended up drinking all night again, so I threw up the third day in a row from drinking and hopefully conveniently got some food cals out too.
I've been so nervous about checking the scale because of all the over consumption of everything for basically the past six days (I made some pretty decadent meals this weekend too since I was in fuck-it mode) but I just checked and I'm down from the last time I checked! Not by much, only about .8 pounds, but considering I was sure I would have gained 10? Nothing to turn my nose up at.
Sorry this is so long but I've been so anxious about this all week and this is such a relief! No one would understand except for you guys! I hope everyone has a good and happy holiday season! ❤️
I don't have a scale and I think it is making my eating disorder worse.
/u/fimuckmylife
Created: Mon Nov 27 14:54:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fyu0z/i_dont_have_a_scale_and_i_think_it_is_making_my/
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On mobile, can't flair.
Not having a scale is killing me. I have no idea how much I weigh so all I can go by is what I see in the mirror and that is never thin enough. My financial situation prevents me from buying one atm and it is making me crazy. My anxiety is going through the roof and that kills my appetite plus makes me restrict more so I can feel like at least I have control over one small part of my life as everything else goes to hell.
I've been eating roughly between 400 - 800 calories (most days closer to 400) a day (I'm 5' 11" with a rough estimate on my TDEE being 1,980). I know I can lose eating more than that but because I have no scale to see that I am actually making progress and I look exactly the same I panic and think I have to go lower to lose anything. I'm considering a fast even though at this rate that will likely end in me passing out. I feel like all of this would be so much easier if I just had a friggin scale. Then maybe I could convince myself to restrict less but any time I try to eat I get so anxious I become nauseous and don't want to eat anymore. I don't know why I'm posting this. Maybe I just need an internet hug.
[Help] I have a little over a week to make a difference and need advice
/u/cuttoarose
Created: Mon Nov 27 14:40:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fyq34/i_have_a_little_over_a_week_to_make_a_difference/
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I was just home for a whole week so things were definitely out of my routine. I am prepared to do what I need to do to ensure that my body is in an okay place in preparation for my extended stay back home as break begins. I just need encouragement! I am afraid I will get discouraged in my final stretch before break. I am just stressed out guys, not only do I have to make sure my body is ready (either by losing a few more pounds or maintaining) but I have to make sure I keep up pretenses so I can continue going to school next semester. That means planning very carefully when I go to the dining hall/when I buy meals/how many snacks I consume so nobody is suspect. My meal swipes and meal budget are monitored so I cant just lounge around I have to get up and go....but I don't have to eat what I purchase. I have a lot of food in my room that I don't eat. I thought I could implement them in my diet so they go away but they don't fit. As a result, when the important people visit my room, they see snacks that were bought months ago untouched. I don't want to throw all this shit away ugh it just really stresses me out. And they practically insist I keep snacks AND emergency meals in here.
So I guess I just need encouragement on how to keep myself on track before I go home and the encouragement to keep up pretenses (making sure I am spending money, swiping for the dining, and the snack issue). My meal budget can only be used to buy food or drinks and is visible to my team, However WHAT I purchase is not visible. Same goes for the dining hall, a swipe is all the data that's collected.
Thanks for anyone who took the time to read this :)
Bulimia stories?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 27 14:25:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fylvc/bulimia_stories/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] why why why
/u/okayls [5'4 |hw: 240 | ugw: 95 |20NB/F]
Created: Mon Nov 27 14:04:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fyg1w/why_why_why/
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i'm trying to eat like a "normal person" and not get freaked out and i was doing ok??
like i got my usual latte during breakfast swipe (i live on a college campus). ok cool, can do. no fear.
make myself eat lunch because it's ~*important*~ and i ~*have to*~. but the meal i had planned for isn't actually being served. get some pasta and breadsticks instead. pasta is absolutely disgusting and i eat three bites. eat breadsticks and plan on that being it.
but then i get to my room and eat a piece of bread (???) and a bag of microwave popcorn and now that just feels like too much and i'm freaking out a little and logically i know, no, it's not really that much i'm fine but MY BRAIN IS FLIPPING SHIT AND I HATE THIS.
my friend had to deal with my mini-breakdown last night (shit's been rough) and asked me if i'd go to crisis counseling and i keep telling her no but maybe i should
[Rant/Rave] Lost 2 lbs over Thanksgiving week
/u/princesszelda00 [5'3.5 | 104 | 18.1 | GW 100]
Created: Mon Nov 27 13:46:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fyb55/lost_2_lbs_over_thanksgiving_week/
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Thank you flu :) It was a horrible vacation but now I finally reached an 'underweight' bmi so I guess it was worth it
[Discussion] DEA struggle to explain the satisfaction of fasting??
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Mon Nov 27 13:31:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fy76o/dea_struggle_to_explain_the_satisfaction_of/
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My husband is concerned about my lack of eating and insists I take lunch every day to work which...is pretty fair if I'm honest. I mean I should be eating.
Anyways, I tried to explaining to him that the fasting isn't a 'because I'm fat thing'. I'm aware I'm not fat anymore. I know I look better than I did. The fasting is a whole new and different beast.
I recently changed departments at work and it's been a bit stressful, but the fasting helps me feel in control of that. It's like I have one thing a day I can succeed at considering I feel like I'm not really doing much in my new role.
He didn't really understand, but I guess when you explain it to yourself it does seem a tad mad.
[Rant/Rave] Saving up for a Fitbit
/u/Elizawitch
Created: Mon Nov 27 13:06:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fy0ca/saving_up_for_a_fitbit/
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This is sort of a note to self type of thing.
So, I'm thinking, I put aside $1 for every breakfast skipped and $2 for every dinner. BUT, $5 per every meal/snack eaten. I'm sure I'll get there in no time.
[Rant/Rave] Donuts + Purging = wtf ew
/u/kelch1000 [Height 5'4 | CW 130 | GW 115 | UGW 93 | 16/F]
Created: Mon Nov 27 12:35:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fxrfx/donuts_purging_wtf_ew/
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Regurgitated donuts taste like literal ass. They look like actual diarrhea too, absolutely disgusting. If you're gonna binge, choose literally any sweet over donuts. Taste like someone shit in my mouth.
[Rant/Rave] It's official: I'm naturally obese.
/u/ThisRideNeverEnds [5'5" | CW: 137.8 | GW: 112 | M]
Created: Mon Nov 27 12:10:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fxkn3/its_official_im_naturally_obese/
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Preamble: I got down to my LW back in July/August and then went on some massive binge cycle and gained around 22lbs.
My SW this month was 148lbs but around 4 of those lbs were just bloat and binge weight from eating really badly during the end of October. This month I haven't binged once and I've eaten 850 - 1,400 calories each day (most days were 900 - 1,000). I initially lost weight quickly and got down to 137.8lbs. Since then, I haven't gone below 138lbs or above 139lbs during the past ten days or so; it's driving me insane.
I tested my kitchen and bathroom scales and they display the correct weights. I'm eating the same types of foods and logging them the exact same way on MFP as I did when I reached my LW earlier this year (I also slightly overestimate calories each time).
I have made a few changes since I previously lost weight such as:
* Taking a multivitamin
* Doing some strength based exercise
* Eating all my calories within one hour after fasting for at least 24 hours each time
* Eating almost 1,400 calories two times a week
I've gained a bit of muscle but I really don't exercise much; it's just beginner gains, but I suppose that may have made me weigh a bit more. I think eating all my calories 3 - 4 hours before sleeping has caused me to stop losing weight. I keep reading how CICO > all... so... I don't know. I have lost all my binge cravings and find eating one big meal much easier than before when I would spread out 1,000 calories throughout the day and fall asleep hungry.
I've decided to eat small meals (no more than 1,000 calories daily) again and I will just go around 16 hours without eating at a time. My BMR is 1,450 - 1,500 but I've come to the conclusion that eating above 1,000 will cause me to gradually become obese.
[Discussion] Can anyone explain why I get so tired after eating?
/u/Discountmein [5'6" | 148 | 23.9 | 77lbs down | Agender]
Created: Mon Nov 27 12:09:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fxkav/can_anyone_explain_why_i_get_so_tired_after_eating/
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Especially if I’ve been hungry, eating makes me feel extreme fatigue. It’s almost to the point where I’m nodding off and can barely keep my eyes open. Of course, my ED voice is like “this is what u get 4 eating lol bitch”
[Help] would this type of post be allowed? estimated weight loss?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 27 11:58:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fxh5v/would_this_type_of_post_be_allowed_estimated/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] "We're just going to spend two days pigging out and eating everything". But can we not though?
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW: 141.4 | UGW 105 | 25/F]
Created: Mon Nov 27 11:50:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fxezw/were_just_going_to_spend_two_days_pigging_out_and/
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Mom, it's New York. I know NYC has good food, but I really don't want to gorge myself. We're American, so it's not like it's foreign food we won't ever get to try.
I've never been to New York. I've traveled the world, but really haven't explored my own country too much. I'm excited to go see places and window shop and all that. I don't want to waste it searching for pizza or the best bagel.
Also, why do I want to blow all that money on food? If I was going alone, I'd just fast those two days since it's easy. I have IBS and gerd and general stomach upset, so gorging really isn't an option.
But I'm dreading saying 'I'm really not hungry' over and over. Going to do my best to stick to real food. At least the city has good juice and smoothie places so I can get my greens. Wish me luck.
[Discussion] Trying to stop restricting for finals
/u/oxygens_overrated [5'4|HW:150|CW:147|LW:113|GW:125 |F| ]
Created: Mon Nov 27 11:48:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fxehg/trying_to_stop_restricting_for_finals/
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Is anyone else trying to eat more during finals week? I’ve noticed with eating more that I’m sleeping less (which personally I love sleeping a lot) and I’ve had more energy, but I definitely still feeling lacking in energy. I keep wondering how long it would take of normal eating to get back to how I felt before my eating disorder controlled my life. Anyway, it’s harder than I thought it would be to eat “normally” I’m not even sure I really know how to anymore. Is any one else with me on this?
[Discussion] Anyone been on Latuda?
/u/nervous_nandu [5'5" | CW 120.6 | LW/GW 98| 20F]
Created: Mon Nov 27 11:30:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fx9ht/anyone_been_on_latuda/
---
I just started Latuda for some paranoid type of anxiety i’m having. My doctor usually uses it to treat people with OCD, and thought it would work for me as i possess the obsessive symptoms without the compulsions. I’m on a low dose and I know its lower risk than most antipsychotics for weight gain, but would really like to know if anyone here gained weight on it. I do have to take it with ~300 cals which sucks but I really need it to work. Let me know if you’ve had any experiences with it good or bad! I’m anxious to see how this works as I’ve sworn off all SSRIs and antipsychotics I’ve tried in the past.
[Help] I really want to binge
/u/little-paws
Created: Mon Nov 27 10:56:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fx01t/i_really_want_to_binge/
---
[removed]
[Help] sizing is not helping my dismorphic issues....
/u/LOdowwnlorettabrown
Created: Mon Nov 27 10:41:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fwvr1/sizing_is_not_helping_my_dismorphic_issues/
---
ok so since i've been losing weight it's been harder and harder for me to 1) figure out what size i actually am 2) accept the fact that i am smaller. i legit just bought new jeans a size down and cant get them passed my calves bc i run cycle etc. i was looking up ways to stretch them and someone says to bathe in them? lol iam really just frustrated bc when things like this happen i am thinking to myself is this whole weightloss all a fluke bc i still think i look fat and then shit like this happens. the pants were final sale so guess who's suiting up to go in the tub in denim tonight. my day is ruined.
[Other] Breaking four days of disgusting consumption with a two day fast.
/u/accordingtoging
Created: Mon Nov 27 10:36:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fwuha/breaking_four_days_of_disgusting_consumption_with/
---
So, the morning of Thanksgiving, I weighed myself after a 36 hour fast and had reached a new LW (139.6 lbs). I went to dinner with a plan on how to keep from stuffing my face. It immediately went out the window. My family is huge on food, and Thanksgiving has always been a day full of every one of my favorite foods. I then tried to fast another 36 hours Friday, but I was working retail from 4am to 10pm and broke at hour 23 when I nearly passed out behind the register. On Saturday, I went to a friendsgiving-type dinner with my boyfriend's friends and coworkers, who I was meeting for the first time, so I felt like I had to eat (I panicked twenty minutes after eating and my boyfriend helped me through it like the angel he is). We then went to a movie and I ate half the popcorn. Yesterday (Sunday), I went to breakfast with my boyfriend, then went to work with my friend, who made me get food with her on break and kept buying me little snacks. If I don't think about what I'm eating, I will eat anything. I ended the day with about 2000 calories and a weight of 145.4 lbs. So I'm now on a 47 hour fast. This will be my longest fast yet. 15 hours and I'm down to 142.6lbs. I'm mostly posting this to hold myself accountable.
Completely unrelated: I'm going to the dentist in 10 minutes and I'm absolutely terrified they're going to see I purge, even though I don't do it very often. Wish me luck, please.
[Thinspo] self: drug abuse and aesthetic improvement
/u/Lady_Anarchy [169cm | CW: 52.5kg | 18.38 | GW: 50kg | F]
Created: Mon Nov 27 10:35:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fwu2m/self_drug_abuse_and_aesthetic_improvement/
---
https://imgur.com/a/dAM97
[Tip] Conflicted with Keto! Eating fat to lose fat.
/u/ueno_stn_54
Created: Mon Nov 27 10:28:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fwsf1/conflicted_with_keto_eating_fat_to_lose_fat/
---
Hey guys I have a friend who was my weight and height who decided to do the keto diet which essentially is no carb, high fat and protein. She lost like 5lbs a week for her first month! I want to try this diet but it only works if you do eat higher healthy fats and low carb. I struggle being able to eat the fats. Anyone else do the keto diet?
Why do some binge eat, but not purge?
/u/idonthavea_cat
Created: Mon Nov 27 10:27:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fws1i/why_do_some_binge_eat_but_not_purge/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] [rant/rave] Anyone else lose weight weirdly? I look like a lumpy potato
/u/mynormalheart [5' 3" | CW: Tub of lard | GW: 120]
Created: Mon Nov 27 10:13:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fwo1w/rantrave_anyone_else_lose_weight_weirdly_i_look/
---
I thought you were supposed to look better as you lose weight?! I've now got so many divots and dips in my thighs, hips, and stomach from where parts of my body have lost fat but others haven't and I just look like a lumpy mess. It's so gross.
[Rant/Rave] Sooo...I did it!
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Mon Nov 27 08:19:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fvuht/soooi_did_it/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7evak3/self_care_is_an_act_of_survival/?st=JAIC7P8G&sh=93f22746
I basically exercised all Friday and Saturday morning but Saturday I said ok this is crazy, it’s time for vacation. I ate so much yesterday but I didn’t binge, it was a shit ton of estimated calories but when you’re running low for months that’s gonna happen. Now is the pressure of continuing and giving my body a rest because I know after vacation I’ll be back to my usual. Sigh, so exhausting but it wouldn’t be if I just let go. Anyone else feel the holidays were a positive by not indulging ED thoughts?
[Discussion] What subreddits do you cycle through when you run out of /r/proed content?
/u/mintslut [4'11 | CW: 114 | UGW: 84 | -9.5lbs | F]
Created: Mon Nov 27 08:16:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fvtn9/what_subreddits_do_you_cycle_through_when_you_run/
---
For me, it's:
1. /r/proed
2. /r/proedmemes
3. /r/1200isplenty
4. /r/1200isjerky
5. /r/vegan1200isplenty
6. /r/vegangifrecipes
7. /r/kpop
8. /r/popular
[Rant/Rave] Time to undo the last four days
/u/TSputnik [5'3" | CW 129 | HW 210 | UGW 100]
Created: Mon Nov 27 08:13:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fvsx2/time_to_undo_the_last_four_days/
---
I've been low key binging every day since Thanksgiving. My boyfriend managed to keep me in check a little, it could've been so much worse, but I'm still in pretty bad shape.
So bloated, so gross feeling, my ribs disappeared, and my under eye bags have eye bags! Actual DOUBLE eye bags... How does food mess me up like this?
So I'm planning on fasting today, and then going super low carb for at least a few days to drop the water weight asap. It's 6am and I figured if I announced my intentions early it'd make it easier on me. Wish me luck, hope y'all are doing better!
[Rant/Rave] I binged yesterday, threw up intentionally for the first time ever
/u/Plz_Can_You_Not
Created: Mon Nov 27 08:12:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fvslm/i_binged_yesterday_threw_up_intentionally_for_the/
---
I used to weigh 58kg two months ago. I got to university and some traumatic event happened and I found myself binging practically every day. I woukd starve myself throughout the day and then have mountains of junk food at night, promising that the next day I would go on a diet but I never did.
I have gained 10kg since then and I just had a massive burger and chips along with onion rings and a pint of coke last night. I cried when I saw photos of myself from last week. I have lost the motivation to do anything, the last time I washed my hair was a week ago and I am just getting worse, I spend at least 14 hours a day sleeping and have anxiety attacks whenever I go out.
I went to a counsellor my university provides and she referred me to the GP who said that eating disorders don't exist and that people my age can't have anxiety or depression. I only see my counsellor once a month who is practically useless and I managed to get an appointment with a therapist for Febuary.
How am I supposed to deal with this for so long when I struggle more every single day? Last night after crying so much I spent about 30 minutes trying to make myself throw up until I did so and even then I still felt disgusted with myself.
Today I have had a scoop of porridge and hope that I can survive the day without anything else. I don't want to live like this.
[Discussion] How many calories are taken off of a slice of pizza if I took the cheese off?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 27 07:58:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fvpb8/how_many_calories_are_taken_off_of_a_slice_of/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I gorged throughout November and Thanksgiving
/u/luxlawliet
Created: Mon Nov 27 07:36:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fvk7l/i_gorged_throughout_november_and_thanksgiving/
---
I'm spilling out of the jeans I bought in October. I bought them as a reward for myself for getting down another 10 pounds. Honestly I want to jump out of my skin. I can't believe I did this to myself :'(
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! November 27, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Nov 27 05:14:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7furo3/weekly_stats_update_november_27_2017/
---
This is the weekly status thread for November 27, 2017.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 27, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Nov 27 05:14:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7furmp/daily_food_diary_november_27_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 27, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] I’ve been fasting and eating around 400-500 cals/day but I still gained weight. Why?
/u/imnidades [5"3 | CW: 120-ish | -10 | GW: <100]
Created: Mon Nov 27 04:58:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fuotx/ive_been_fasting_and_eating_around_400500_calsday/
---
I aim to fast 20 hours a day and only eat 1 meal. I wouldn’t say my meals are huge, I’m estimating around 300 calories? I’m sure I don’t exceed 1000 calories a day. Last time I weighed myself I was 118, today I weighed myself expecting to have lost weight but I’m 121 now! What’s happening??
[Discussion] Anyone else here also an identical twin?
/u/325896471
Created: Mon Nov 27 03:57:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fueuo/anyone_else_here_also_an_identical_twin/
---
I feel like the complex over how similar or different we look is getting worse.
I was always *slightly* bigger, but i knew it when people would say the way they tell us apart as me having a rounder face...
Recently it's like the first time I'm smaller and it feels good when people comment on it but also conflicting
I feel really bad making these comparisons now, ensuring i eat less and mildly freaking out when i saw she made a diet plan. I know we could get very competitive if things devolved and i don't want that to happen
Looking for people with similar experiences lol
[Help] combating a sweet tooth
/u/bigfaninasmallworld [5 feet 🍰 | CW: 88 lbs | GW: 100 lbs | UGW: 98 lbs | 20 F 🍒 |]
Created: Mon Nov 27 02:15:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ftyhn/combating_a_sweet_tooth/
---
ok. i have a major sweet tooth. insane. whatever your thinking, my sweet tooth is waaayyyy worse. lol. how do you deal with having a sweet tooth? are there any low calories alternatives to classic sweets?
[Rant/Rave] I might be losing my girlfriend over this
/u/CeciNestPasOP [5'8" | CW 122 | 18.4 | HW 165 | LW 112 | 22F]
Created: Mon Nov 27 02:13:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fty33/i_might_be_losing_my_girlfriend_over_this/
---
Background - I have two long distance partners, my boyfriend and my girlfriend, who both know about my eating disorder.
My girlfriend (A) has been dealing with some brain fuss lately so I haven't been particularly forthcoming about my relapse. Boyfriend (N), on the other hand, has gotten pretty much the blow-by-blow and been almost annoyingly supportive. I spent most of Thanksgiving break with them, during which I opened up to A about my disorder worsening again. A tells me she is very worried and that I'm beginning to look disconcertingly thin. Our relationship has been on unsteady ground for a while, due to a number of things - there's a long story behind things getting off to an awkward start, but tldr; our interactions have been strained for a while.
A few nights ago A, N, and I had a conversation in which she told me she's too worried about what I might do to myself to continue a romantic relationship right now, and we decided that we need to take some time to lay solid groundwork for whatever relationship we do end up having. I agree with this solution for a number of reasons, but it was a bit of a slap in the face. I still feel like I'm not sick enough to merit this level of concern, but that's just as likely to be my disorder talking. I'm just barely underweight now, and just starting to like the way I look again.
[Discussion] How would you prepare for the holidays?
/u/Joan_of_Bondi
Created: Mon Nov 27 02:12:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fty0j/how_would_you_prepare_for_the_holidays/
---
Christmas and New Years are coming. I'm planning to fast for 3 days prior to Christmas Eve so that I can (with sufficient guilt) binge on my favourite food (honey glazed meat) and drinks (red wine). I might stock up on laxatives while I'm at it...
How are you prepping for the upcoming holiday season?
[Rant/Rave] I might lose a partner over this
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 27 01:16:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ftp5i/i_might_lose_a_partner_over_this/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ftp5i/i_might_lose_a_partner_over_this/
[Rant/Rave] I completed my first all day fast!!
/u/ScrunchiesandDraino [5’8” |cw:250 |-25lbs |20F]
Created: Sun Nov 26 23:54:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ftbo6/i_completed_my_first_all_day_fast/
---
Thanksgiving was a nightmare and I thought that since I felt like such utter shit yesterday, that I would try to go the whole day without eating. I DID IT! I am shocked that I didn't binge ravenously the second I got home from work but I didnt! im hoping with the 100oz of water i downed today, all of the sodium, water and real weight I gained over the past few days will be gone tomorrow (and that by the end of next week i will officially be in the 240s)
idk im proud and anyone else i told this to would think im crazy lmao
[Other] Any of you lovelies in South Korea?
/u/desaparecida [5'0" | CW:109lb | BMI: 20.0 | 25F]
Created: Sun Nov 26 23:38:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ft93r/any_of_you_lovelies_in_south_korea/
---
This is a wonderful community where I've always felt understood and found lots of support and encouragement from you all ❤ and for that I am really thankful.
I've seen a couple posts and comments from users that seem to be living as expats here in Korea. I would like for us to make something like a kakao talk group where we can share stuff more specific to our location. I know a lot of users are from the US so most of the stuff they share related to food, restaurants, activities, society, etc. is a bit far from us :(
Would you be interested in something like this?
Let me know or send me a PM :)
[Goal] I have lost my Halo Top virginity!!
/u/oxygens_overrated [5'4|HW:150|CW:147|LW:113|GW:125 |F| ]
Created: Sun Nov 26 23:31:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ft7ts/i_have_lost_my_halo_top_virginity/
---
I’m eating my first pint of mint chip halo top and I’m crying. It tastes so fucking good. This is what I’ve needed my whole life.
[Rant/Rave] B&P
/u/fuckingilluminated
Created: Sun Nov 26 23:29:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ft7ev/bp/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] DAE have nicknames for certain parts of their body?
/u/friedghosts
Created: Sun Nov 26 23:16:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ft53n/dae_have_nicknames_for_certain_parts_of_their_body/
---
Like, my thighs I call my hams. Because they look like some big ol' leg hams. My friend has called her tummy area "mashed potatoes" because it's all squishy. Funny how the nicknames happen to be food.
[Rant/Rave] I just started a stopwatch on my phone.
/u/UncertainlyOrdinary
Created: Sun Nov 26 23:08:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ft3kn/i_just_started_a_stopwatch_on_my_phone/
---
I want to see how long I can go without eating. I feel like complete and utter shit. Thanksgiving was awful on me. I was doing keto for weeks, then I added in IF, and then it turned into constant fasts and serious restriction and I lost legit weight. I felt so happy, I felt in control. But then nibbled a little here and there on Thursday. Ate tons on Friday, and then again today at my last "Thanksgiving" dinner I ate SO MUCH. My stomach aches, my head hurts, and I can't get over how much I binged and how much I hate myself. I'm afraid I reversed _weeks_ of restriction. So I'm going as long as I can. I'm weak, so it probably won't be too long. But I honestly can't wait to feel the emptiness, the hunger pangs and growls. I can't wait to ignore them. I embrace feeling empty, I love it so much. It makes me feel empowered, happy, confident, in charge. It's the closest I get to feeling actually good about myself. Feeling empty and knowing how long it's been since I felt full...it just, I can't explain it...it just makes me feel so good. It's like this inside secret with myself...only I know how long it is between my meals or how many calories I've restricted to, yet I become so proud when I am successful. I've been so depressed and angry at myself for being so stupid and not controlling myself. I'm so fat, I feel like I can see my body growing with each bite. I see myself in the mirror and I want to cry. I see my legs when I walk, and it hurts. My stomach rolls up when I sit down and I want to hide. I can't stop thinking about my body, the scalex the numbers. It consumes me. I hate being like this. But I can do this. I want to see all my bones. I want to be skinny more than anything. I won't stop until I am tiny. I can do this...right?
[Rant/Rave] Wow I have the weirdest grossest body shape ever
/u/lavenderbruises [5'9"|CW 109| GW 100| BMI 15.87| 19F]
Created: Sun Nov 26 23:00:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ft26m/wow_i_have_the_weirdest_grossest_body_shape_ever/
---
idek how to describe it. like my torso is long and thin, but I dont have a defined waist so instead of hourglass its a rectangle. I literally have no boobs and my torso and arms resemble skeletor. plus i have that starvation mode swollen belly thing going on.
but then you go past my hips and WOAH sudden fat attack. my thighs are thick blobs of fat and lard and then my calves are HUGE and very muscular. oh yeah, and did I mention that I have a flat ass???
at the risk of sounding insensitive, I swear to God I have the torso of a holocaust survivor and the legs of an obese person, with no boobs and no butt.
sometimes Im actually amazed at how grotesque my body is. Its like when you go on Sims and create the most hilariously malformed character you can manage. but this is my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yay me!!!!
[Rant/Rave] first time purging in over a year
/u/applesforhungry
Created: Sun Nov 26 22:44:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fsz2p/first_time_purging_in_over_a_year/
---
got really stoned earlier and my friend ordered food without me knowing and I stupidly ate some of it, not much but enough. Hadn't eaten in 2 days and now I've ruined it, I never ever have to purge usually and kind of just fell out of the habit but I'm worried this will trigger me back into binge eating rather than restricting.
on the plus side I was at my lowest weight today, I know one night binge won't ruin all my hard work but I also don't know why I sabotage myself like this.
[Discussion] Anyone else feel like losing weight is their only talent?
/u/Kitten_in_a_teacup
Created: Sun Nov 26 22:16:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fstqz/anyone_else_feel_like_losing_weight_is_their_only/
---
Quit my graduate program, have failed to make any friends for about five years now. But I can spend hours planning out fasts, or estimate the calories of any given food with scary precision. Sigh.
First time poster. I used to hang around on LJ back in the day. I guess I've outed myself as old. ;)
[Other] Worst day of my life, binged 2400cal
/u/vctrlcs [5'6" | CW: 154.5 | GW: 130 | UGW: 115 | BMI: 24.9 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 26 21:05:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fsfnf/worst_day_of_my_life_binged_2400cal/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Binged on a VERY calorie dense food without realizing it
/u/sogyosha
Created: Sun Nov 26 20:53:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fsd8e/binged_on_a_very_calorie_dense_food_without/
---
So I live with my family currently and they bought some cookie dough, the nestle kind that comes in the cubes. I went nuts and ate literally 16 of them, which adds up to about 2000 calories. And this was at the end of a binge which was already 2000+, so I'm absolutely gonna gain tonight. And I guess I just didn't expect them to be SO calorie dense.
I had really good self-control up until Thanksgiving, and it's just been a struggle not to binge since then. I don't even know why I do it. Once I'm full I think, "I don't enjoy the food, I don't enjoy how fat it makes me, I don't enjoy the guilt, why the fuck am I still eating?" but when I get a craving it's like a siren song and I feel like I HAVE to eat it.
Even when I know how good it feels to restrict and that I hate the feeling of being full and the guilt of eating, I still sabotage myself daily. Anyway thanks for reading this, I just wanted to let it out.
(also I reposted this because the typo in the title was driving me nuts)
[Rant/Rave] Binged on possibly the highest calorie food, ever without realizing it
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 26 20:50:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fscp6/binged_on_possibly_the_highest_calorie_food_ever/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] LOL that's the last time I open up to anyone about my eating problems
/u/That_1bitch
Created: Sun Nov 26 20:48:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fsc8g/lol_thats_the_last_time_i_open_up_to_anyone_about/
---
On mobile can't flair
So I opened up to my boyfriend about my problems with food/eating. Didn't say specifically that I had an ED but told him about a lot of the shit I go through and about my calorie restriction etc.
He pulled the whole "don't worry about it, just eat"
Then he hits me with "oh well"
OH WELL? let's see if you'll be saying oh well when I'm <100 lbs and just skin and bones buddy 🙂🙃
[Help] Can I get my period back after it being gone for a long time?
/u/DeathmetalFiretruck [5'5 | CW 81.6 lbs | BMI 13.74 | HW 187 | 24F]
Created: Sun Nov 26 20:43:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fsbbj/can_i_get_my_period_back_after_it_being_gone_for/
---
My last period was October 2014.
I’m scared I’ve screwed up my body for too long and if I “recovered” in theory, I may be permanently infertile.
Anyone have experience with this?
[Rant/Rave] Well shit, it's too early for my mom to be catching on to my weight loss. Whyyy
/u/IsAFailure [M 5'6 | CW: 118lbs | GW: Whatever it takes to like what I see]
Created: Sun Nov 26 20:20:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fs6bf/well_shit_its_too_early_for_my_mom_to_be_catching/
---
My mom has said, "Why do you look so skinny," and most recently, "Stooop losing weight!"
I've only lost 10lbs from my high so far. Why does she have to start catching on already?!
[Rant/Rave] I finally weighed myself and holy shit guys
/u/coconutfi [5'9" | CW: 128 | GW: 116 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 26 19:42:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fry8t/i_finally_weighed_myself_and_holy_shit_guys/
---
I posted a few days ago that I was definitely not at the weight in my flair, BUT IM AT THE WEIGHT IN MY FLAIR!! A little over a week ago I thought I was getting close to 140 lbs because of this picture taken of me where I've never looked so big. And I swear I'm not being a dickhead or being dysmorphic and would totally show the picture if I wasn't paranoid of someone finding me.
Looking back, it must of been as much water weight that is humanly possible because I looked SO swollen, especially my face. And plus the past 10 days I've been doing keto, IF, fluctuating my daily intake to keep my metabolism up, and restricting so that's probably taken off a pound or two.
So now my goal for New Years is actually somewhat achievable. Wow I'm so happy.
[Thinspo] When you need thinspo, who do you google?
/u/Elizawitch
Created: Sun Nov 26 19:40:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7frxyt/when_you_need_thinspo_who_do_you_google/
---
Personally, I look up Ariana Grande, Taylor Momsen and Eugenia Cooney. Also, the teen girl in Stranger Things and I've watched To The Bone more than I'd like to admit.
I just wanted to compare notes and see if I'm missing out on anyone/any movies or anything like that.
[Other] To the girl who drunkenly confessed to a friend about her eating disorder, who then went and told her boyfriend recently.
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | 120.3 | 19.4 | 13.4kg | 27.7-]
Created: Sun Nov 26 18:48:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7frml1/to_the_girl_who_drunkenly_confessed_to_a_friend/
---
This is about you if: You believe your eating disorder stems for a need to control and that's mainly what you've told your boyfriend.
And you have told your boyfriend about proed.
Your boyfriend is in r\eatingdisorders and I think you should have a long talk with him. There's this guy in r\eatingdisorders who's going on and on about his girlfriend having an eating disorder and a 'proed community' He loves you very much, but he's very confused as to what to do.
You guys have already talked about your eating disorder. He confronted you inmediately after the friend talked about it.
Remember, this illness has a whole line of victims, but no perpetrators.
I wasn't sure on whether to ignore this or not, but I feel like I should tell you about this. I feel incredibly bad for the guy. If you think this is you, you could go and check the r\eatingdisorders forum. It's the post after the one about the art students.
[Discussion] DAE try to “visualize” their body?
/u/ilovegibbyhaynes
Created: Sun Nov 26 18:27:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7frhu2/dae_try_to_visualize_their_body/
---
I’m really embarrassed to post this and I’m not really sure how else to phrase this; I will try to trace my waist/thigh/etc. on an extra large sketchbook (or whatever is available) because BDD is a bitch and I don’t know what I really look like.
This is my first reddit post, sorry if anything is incorrect.
[Help] Is it possible to lose 20lb in a month and a half?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 26 17:39:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fr731/is_it_possible_to_lose_20lb_in_a_month_and_a_half/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fr731/is_it_possible_to_lose_20lb_in_a_month_and_a_half/
[Discussion] DAE "flip a switch?"
/u/I_Love_Spiders_AMA [5' 7" | CW 137 | GW 110 | -45 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 26 17:25:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fr3wy/dae_flip_a_switch/
---
Those of you whose EDs flop back and forth between extreme binges and extreme restriction/fasting, do you ever feel the moment when that switch flips? Like, the moment when you're so fed up with the binges, the late night trips to the refrigerator just to grab a fucking piece of cheese, the swollen aching belly, the burn in your throat and sensitive teeth from purging? And in a restriction period when you finally give in again to food and the switch flips back, no longer are you plagued with pounding headaches of starvation, constant dizziness, shakiness so bad that your makeup looks like shit and needs redone several times, and the worry that through all of the hard work you aren't seeing a single sign of progress?
I flipped the switch back today, and it only took gaining 12 pounds, too many nights of getting blackout drunk and binging, and abusing the hell out of my xanax to try and alleviate my appetite. I feel disgusting and bloated and I don't know how my boyfriend looks at me. Going home for the holidays was the worst because the entire time I obsessed with whether or not my family noticed my weight gain. I didn't get a single "wow you're so skinny!"
TLDR: A depressing and hopeless post about a fat girl that just lost so much progress and isn't coping well with life.
[Rant/Rave] Fuck it
/u/throw_away524
Created: Sun Nov 26 16:59:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fqxs8/fuck_it/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I don't even know how to feel
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5'4" | 123 | 21.4 | GW: 115 | NB]
Created: Sun Nov 26 16:55:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fqwtl/i_dont_even_know_how_to_feel/
---
My best friend celebrates the small 'victories' of my recovery for me be it eating a full plate of food etc, we had a discussion where she said starvation mode is a thing and that me eating as little as I do won't do anything, is that true?
I'm so hurt guys, like why am I bothering with recovery? I'm not the one celebrating the 'victories' of eating lots I'm hating myself every time I eat, I feel like a fucking whale.
I just don't want to recover anymore I'm 8lbs off of my goal weight (115lb) I'm just doing this for my friends so they're happy, I'm fucking miserable.
[Discussion] Waist trainer recommendations?
/u/Ep1cDuCK [5'7.5" | CW: 107 lbs | BMI 16.5 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 26 16:38:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fqsyq/waist_trainer_recommendations/
---
Do you guys have any recommendations for quality/affordable waist trainers?
I know they don’t actually make that big of a difference, but wearing a waist trainer really helps me with food anxiety.
Does anybody else feel similarly?
Snacking
/u/oFILo
Created: Sun Nov 26 16:06:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fqlol/snacking/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I never know when to be proud
/u/coconutfi [5'9" | CW: 128 | GW: 116 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 26 15:52:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fqiav/i_never_know_when_to_be_proud/
---
I guess I have two different types of proud. The "yes I'll get skinnier" proud and the "good for me for taking care of my body" proud.
But either "proud" always comes with some sort of guilt. This morning I forced myself to eat most of my omelette even though I was full not even halfway through. Last night I felt like I could feel my muscles all over my body aching because they weren't getting enough protein and my heart was scaring me a little. Literally felt like I could feel everything deteriorating.
When I have an omelette I'll normally have a little bit of the meat and cut off a lot of the plain egg part and mostly eat the vegetables and cheese, but I knew I needed protein so I ate almost all of it. I'm cringing at the fact that this one omelette for breakfast was most likely more than my entire intake yesterday, but I know my body is thanking me. Ugh and I could tell there was a ton of butter and oil ):
I keep getting waves of guilt and waves of feeling proud for eating it when I didn't want to, but god the guilt sucks.
[Discussion] How do you guys do your fasts?
/u/PM_ME_YOUR_PRBLEMS [5'5 | CW: 157 | GW: 120 | -3 | F17]
Created: Sun Nov 26 15:37:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fqela/how_do_you_guys_do_your_fasts/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] [gross sorry] DAE have... digestive issues after binges...?
/u/vkomova [5'11 | ugh | ugh | ugh | F]
Created: Sun Nov 26 14:48:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fq2wv/gross_sorry_dae_have_digestive_issues_after_binges/
---
And by that I mean diarrhea.
I hate talking about bodily functions and such but I'm wondering if I'm actually sick or if it's just my fucked up food habits to blame.
I've been eating SO much more the last 2 days than I almost ever do. I knew counting the calories would just upset me more but I think in the last two days combined I ate more than in the previous 10 days combined. And I just now felt this horrific pain I thought were menstrual cramps, then I was doubled over in pain, and I ran to the toilet and then it just.... ~happened~
DAE have this issue when eating so much more so suddenly? Is it like my body can't keep up? Or do I actually have a stomach flu?
[Help] Just ate out of the bin
/u/lowandbehole
Created: Sun Nov 26 14:46:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fq2id/just_ate_out_of_the_bin/
---
So I have been binging pretty badly for about a week and have just hit rock bottom .
My housemate ordered a take away , massaman curry, one of my favorites.
She only ate about half and threw the rest and rice in the bin ... I ate it all from the bin with a spoon... straight from the bin while she watched tv in the next room with the door open. So close to being caught . I feel like I’ve lost it .
[Discussion] DAE sit in the bathtub as the water drains out?
/u/Whisper_silence [5'2" | 113.3 | 21(Fitbit) |-21.5 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 26 14:46:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fq2f8/dae_sit_in_the_bathtub_as_the_water_drains_out/
---
I’ve reached a new low weight. As of this morning, I’m 100.9 lbs. Still pretty far away from my idea of where I need to be, but the lowest I’ve been as an adult.
My husband and I are going through some things. I’ve started counseling on my own and we will go together soon. I haven’t told my counselor or my husband about my ED (never diagnosed) but one evening I did tell my husband how much I weighed. His response was that, out of politeness, he was never going to ask my weight or comment on it. Part of me is happy. Part of me is gutted because this person that cares about me doesn’t see me suffering.
So I’m right there in the same boat as many of you. “I’ll show him what sick looks like....then he will fucking care.”
So now I’m sitting in the bathtub, cold, while the water all drains out to remind myself how heavy I am and not to fuck up this new low.
TL:DR = I don’t want to mess up my new low and want attention from my husband so I am reminding myself how heavy I actually am while all the water drains out of the bathtub.
[Help] Successful recovery?
/u/whatsupbuttercup5 [5'3" | CW 97.2 | BMI 17.2 | GW 92 | HW 126 | 25F]
Created: Sun Nov 26 14:27:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fpxvk/successful_recovery/
---
I'm feeling really ambivalent today.
I'm so sick of being the way that I am. I don't know what's wrong with me. Why can't I just enjoy all the good things in my life instead of nitpicking and overthinking everything? Why am I not giving 100% to my studies and am half-assing it instead? Why am I never enough, why do I think I have to be 90 lbs to be successful?
I'm just tired of this. I'm wondering if anyone has had a successful recovery. I want to be more than who I am now but at the same time I can't picture it. I think at a certain point you just are who you are.
The frustrating part is I'm really really smart. And I'm insightful. And I know I would make an excellent medical provider if I could mentally get it together but I just don't know how to get there. And next year I will be on clinical rotations and I just don't know how I'll be able to handle it.
[Rant/Rave] Having a crush
/u/kein-08-15
Created: Sun Nov 26 14:12:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fpu58/having_a_crush/
---
So I’m not really sure if I should have maybe flagged this as discussion but well I’m mainly mad at myself.
I’m in my first semester in university. Apparat from lectures we’ve also got exercises for the different subjects with about 40 students per class.
In one of my classes I’ve got this really good looking guy as my tutor and I developed a huge crush on him. He’s in his third semester so about my age, maybe a year older.
The point is: he’s muscular. One can clearly tell he’s going to the gym. Sometimes I even think I can spot his abs through his t-shirt. This makes me so incredibly insecure. I fell disgusting and fat and thigh don’t have the courage to ask him out or even try to flirt with him.
Ugh I’m so mad at myself for my ED or whatever destroying this. I would just really love to be involved with someone again but I don’t think anyone can just find me remotely attractive.
Have you ever had this kind of problem? What did you do to deal with it?
[Rant/Rave] I couldn’t get into my jeans
/u/turbomoiist
Created: Sun Nov 26 14:03:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fprsc/i_couldnt_get_into_my_jeans/
---
I don’t know how heavy I am but probably the heaviest I’ve ever been.
I feel so horrible right now I can’t even describe it, I’ve really let myself go since summer and this can never happen again, I’ve never hated myself more. I usually try to be positive but it’s honestly so hard to right now:/
I have a party on New Year’s Eve where I have people to impress, so I give myself until then to lose 8 kg.
Hope all of you are doing okay<3
[Discussion] DAE cancel plans with their SO and/or close friends...
/u/DowntownTriumph91
Created: Sun Nov 26 13:55:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fpptt/dae_cancel_plans_with_their_so_andor_close_friends/
---
When struggling with active restriction and/or b/p?
I have gained back 6lbs due to binging, and recently broke my almost 2 week non-purging streak the other day, and I have only been leaving the house to walk the dog and go to work during the past week or two (I did see my family briefly for Thanksgiving).
My bf texted me tonight, and wanted to make plans to see each other, but as soon as I finish my shift, I'm just going to go home, walk the dog, eat a light dinner (hopefully NOT binge!!), and lay awake miserable until I fall asleep. I cancelled on a everyone that has tried to make plans with me over the past two weeks.
I feel badly because I do want to see him, and I haven't seen him in almost two weeks, but he'll want to be intimate, and all that, and I feel totally uncomfortable, disgusting, and fat, and really, that's all I can think about, so it's not like I'm good for conversation. I can't even seem to spruce myself up like I usually do. I feel as though I'm unworthy of having the pleasure of spending time with him, or close friends, because I'm terrified that they will see what I see.
Am I alone in feeling this way? How do you guys deal with this?
I wish I could articulate what I'm feeling better. Hopefully you'll understand.
And, sorry for formatting; I'm on mobile.
[Rant/Rave] Thanksgiving pictures
/u/throwaway47569
Created: Sun Nov 26 13:46:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fpnlq/thanksgiving_pictures/
---
I just saw the thanksgiving photos that my SOs family took and I just want to scream. Or cry. I hate myself, and I don't know how to fucking handle it. I don't even restrict, and I know purging is bad so I try to never do it. When I think back I cant believe I was unhappy at 120lbs, but I know that I've had ED tendencies and thoughts since 12. I dont know how to fucking do this now that I weigh so much and look so terrible. I don't want to look at myself. I hate pictures. I hate being touched in my stomach, or any part of me really. How the fuck do I believe that anyone could think I look ok when I know I look like a disgusting whale. I don't want to eat anymore.
[Rant/Rave] What the hell is this? Are they for real serious?😡😡
/u/GingerStark [5'9.3" | 20.2 | CW : 138 | GW : 120 | UGW : 110 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 26 13:45:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fpnay/what_the_hell_is_this_are_they_for_real_serious/
---
https://imgur.com/6Mhi02c
[Rant/Rave] Just saw my dad again for the first time in about a year...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 26 13:16:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fpg8j/just_saw_my_dad_again_for_the_first_time_in_about/
---
[deleted]
[Help] i’m hungry
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 26 12:32:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fp4yr/im_hungry/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fp4yr/im_hungry/
[Help] My best friend caught me
/u/serenityswild
Created: Sun Nov 26 12:07:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7foyml/my_best_friend_caught_me/
---
One of my closest friends suffered with an eating disorder ( very badly ) quite a while ago. Probably 7 or 8 years ago.
We went out for dinner before a concert on Thursday and I purged, so sure I had hidden it pretty well.
Then on the drive home from the concert she blatantly asked me if I puked at dinner, and then got all disappointed in me.
I don’t know what to do, I feel so low.
But also weird because I was literally caught red handed and don’t want to fully admit to having an eating disorder. I absolutely have ED tendencies, I’ve been b/p , restricting, fasting and using laxatives pretty heavily for the month or so when things started to get really bad.
I feel like I don’t even deserve to be identified like this? I’m so worried that people are going to think that I’m faking it, I’ve only lost 16 pounds, I’m still 144lbs at 5”3.
I feel so hopeless and scared and I honestly don’t know where to go from here.
I’m not ready to stop, I haven’t gotten even remotely close to my goal.
I feel like she’s going to watch me like a hawk now... (although we don’t see each other all too often lately because I’ve moved for school).
[Rant/Rave] Goodbye Treatment, Hello Relapse
/u/TreatmentTime [5'9" | 157.6 | 23.3 | -7.4 (WR) | GW: 99 | LW: 105.2 | 24♀]
Created: Sun Nov 26 12:00:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fox1g/goodbye_treatment_hello_relapse/
---
Tomorrow marks the anniversary of *an entire fucking year* spent in ED
treatment. Between IP, res, and psych ward stays I've been inpatient for EIGHT
GODDAMN MONTHS, and PHP was another nine weeks of useless bullshit. I wasted
3.5% of my life trying to escape the grip of this illness, and I failed.
It's currently 3AM. I arrived home an hour ago after a two and a half month
stint of treatment across the country. Like any responsible anorexic, I promptly
stripped off my clothes and hopped on the scale. Though a half dozen
psychiatrists' attempts to ~~eradicate~~ medicate my feelings has left me numb
no matter the situation, seeing the number still felt like a crushing blow.
Hundreds (thousands?) of hours of therapy later, a scale's praise still
contributes more to my self-worth than anything my brain can come up with. Right
now, that makes me worthless. I'm a fat, lazy slob that deserves to suffer this
disease.
Highlights of my "Year of Recovery" include attempting suicide, being
involuntarily committed, fighting for medical guardianship, eloping from a
locked unit, and learning to place an NG tube. I gave up a promising career,
spent thousands on insurance deductibles, saw friendships slowly deteriorate as
the months in IP passed by, and lost every ounce of muscle I had for nothing.
I'm the biggest I've ever been, and it's all I can do not to bust out my trusty
X-ACTO blades and go to town; after all, I'm sure the local ER misses seeing me!
So, fuck it. I'm going back to the way things were. Back to obsessing over
whether there are calories in toothpaste, debating the finer points of Halo Top
flavours (and who am I kidding, I'm just going to purge it anyways), spending
hours a day in the gym, fasting the weekends away, and isolating so that no one
has to see my disgusting body.
I'm getting back to my low weight, whatever the consequences, and I'm going to
love every second of it.
[Help] I know..THAT question again.
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 60.9 kg | BMI: 22.6 | -22.6 kg | 21F]
Created: Sun Nov 26 11:36:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7for11/i_knowthat_question_again/
---
I'm going crazy and I need help to calm down.
Since monday I had a total calorie intake of 5342. And I only lost 400g. I went from 60.9kg to 60.5kg in a whole week and although I lost some it is NOT ENOUGH! So...did I really only lose 400g or am I still holding on to a shit ton of water? I mean, I ate (obviously!) and most food had quite an amount of sodium so it has to be water retention right? But still, I've been drinking up to 2 liters of water every day to prevent the retention as good as possible.
God I hate my life right now. I've just been on a shitty plateau fir the whole month of oktober and now I'm not really losing again? I really wanted to be below 60kg by friday next week but I guess that won't happen.
Do you think fasting for the week will help? I'm not willing to give up yet.
[Rant/Rave] Y'all, I don't know how I did it, but I did.
/u/HungryBunnyXXL [5'10 | CW 135 | GW 120 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 26 11:32:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fopx3/yall_i_dont_know_how_i_did_it_but_i_did/
---
Flew out to Palm Springs, CA for Thanksgiving week with my sister, boyfriend and 10 members of his family. We stayed in this luxurious house, that was honestly incredible. Totally the nicest place I've ever stayed minus maybe a riad in Morocco.
Had been getting a little ED-brainy before we left because I had been restricting heavily due to the fact that there was a pool. ED-brainy for me means bawling when my taco bell order is incorrect or super non-chalantly going to puke. So I was bound and determined to barely think about calories/food while I was there (HAH!)
Anyway, being a vegan went a long way for me. In addition to that, I made a few meals / apps for everyone over the course of the week. All vegetarian, but not vegan. Everyone assumed I ate some of that and didn't pester me for those meals. To be completely honest, I did have 2 halves of an english muffin, a poached egg and 2 Tbs of hollandaise. Don't tell the cows and chickens.
This is really just a long winded way for me to decompress AND to tell y'all that without logging, a scale, or my measuring tape (edit** also without my phone and therefor ProED/Peach/MFP) and with unlimited booze at my fingertips. I STILL managed to lose like .7. Not a stats update, just my rant/rave for the week.
Happy Thanksgiving Y'all.
[Rant/Rave] Irrational ED brain takeover
/u/light_as_a_feather04 [5'6 | 108 | 17.4 | GW: 98| 34/F]
Created: Sun Nov 26 10:28:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7foagv/irrational_ed_brain_takeover/
---
My period is suppose to start on Tuesday and I’m up 3 pounds. I know this is due to water bloat but my irrational brain is calculating every calorie that I consumed since Thursday.
Thursday: I cooked the big meal and I ate a little bit of everything except the turkey and gravy (I’m vegetarian). I purged twice and then had a slice of pumpkin pie. I also had 3/4 a bottle of wine and a square of dark chocolate. I don’t really calorie count but I doubt I netted more than 1000
Friday: I had an egg, some leftover stuffing (like a 1/2 cup). Then I had some tortilla chips and hummus a few hours later. I ate more leftover stuffing and sweet potatoes and some gluten free Mac n cheese. I felt guilty so I purged the sweet potatoes and man n cheese. I had a late night snack of tortilla chips. I’m still fairly confident I netted under1200
Saturday: a slice of gluten free bread toasted with a pat of butter and an egg, a tablespoon of peanut butter, some Honey Nut Cheerios (1/2 cup). A pickle, 2 more pieces of toast and 3 pieces of chocolate. Again, I’m pretty sure under 1200 calories.
So how the fuck did I gain 3 pounds?! 😩😩. Nothing but black coffee and 1 slice of toast today...
[Discussion] Low cal savory/salty snack recommendations?
/u/napalmlife_ [5'6" | 101 | 16.37 | F21]
Created: Sun Nov 26 10:12:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fo6hw/low_cal_savorysalty_snack_recommendations/
---
So here's the deal - I don't like sweets. I've never understood the hoopla and fanfare around ice cream, chocolate, etc. My vice is anything salty, garlicy, oniony, cheesy, etc. Does anyone else with similar cravings have any low cal salty safefoods that you enjoy?? I'm currently trying to maintain and am struggling to find foods that I'm comfortable with. Thanks babes :-)
[Rant/Rave] I am so sick of not having control of myself!
/u/oceanblue10 [5'9''| 175| 24.66|UGW:110 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 26 08:48:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fnn3a/i_am_so_sick_of_not_having_control_of_myself/
---
I am just done with it! I'm done with giving in easily and just eating whenever I want and feeling terrible later! I don't want to feel that way! I recently got a new tattoo and when the artist had me stand in front of the mirror to look it over, I just about cried. All I could see was my wide hips and my flabby arms and I hate it. I am in my brothers wedding in May and I'll be damned if I look like a fat sausage in my bridesmaid dress! Some people wait till new years to make a resolution but I'm making mine now! I will not be the fattest one at my brothers wedding and I will not give up control again.
[Rant/Rave] at this point, it is just easier to not eat, than go through this terrible ritual
/u/ladytulips [5'7'' | 119lbs | 18.6 | -30lbs | 19F]
Created: Sun Nov 26 08:40:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fnl7p/at_this_point_it_is_just_easier_to_not_eat_than/
---
"I'm hungry, I haven't eaten, I feel like I'm gonna faint, I have to eat something,"
First, examine the kitchen and start daydreaming about all the calorie packed things in there, that you so badly want to eat but will not allow yourself.
Then take another look, locate all your safe foods and try to decide what would be best, without suspiciously staring at the ingredients on the packet. Think about everything you ate already. Add everything up and fuck, you can't have minestrone soup because the pasta messes up your end goal of the day. Wish you hadn't wasted those calories on that mushy Apple. Curse the people who tell you 'it's just an apple.' It's NOT just an apple.
Keep counting, you're always counting these days.
And the list of safe foods get shorter. You can't butter your toast anymore. Ketchup is too sugary. You used to love avocado but that's forbidden now.
Bullion water has like, no calories but the sodium makes you bloated and you can't stand the look of yourself anymore. Nothing fried. You can't remember the last time you drank your calories.
You've counted and counted, and it's so fucking stressful and time consuming and you feel overwhelmed and you feel eyes burning into your back from your parents/partner/roommates/sibling quietly watching you tip toeing around the kitchen reading labels and you look down at the bag of dried fruit in your hand and feel your stomach and thighs ballooning already.
It's not worth it. You did all of this yesterday. And this morning. You're sick of doing mental gymnastics to find it if that perfectly normal piece of bread is safe enough for consumption.
It's easier to just... Not.
I find myself opting out of eating more and more because I simply don't have the energy. Why does my brain do this.
I miss my old brain that liked having breakfast and candy.
[Goal] 100 lbs
/u/haley912
Created: Sun Nov 26 07:45:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fn9xa/100_lbs/
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literally for years all i’ve wanted was to be this small
heaviest was almost 200, this is my thinnest yet
🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
how long do you wait before purging after eating (longest you wait a shortest)?
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Sun Nov 26 07:22:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fn5f7/how_long_do_you_wait_before_purging_after_eating/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE feel really intense guilt when people you love eat high calorie things you made or bought?
/u/CANT_CATCH_ME [5'7.5 | CW 133.5 | -7 | GW 115 | 18 F]
Created: Sun Nov 26 07:20:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fn56y/dae_feel_really_intense_guilt_when_people_you/
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Like I baked mini pecan muffins and made chocolate covered peanut butter balls for Thanksgiving and both things were super high calorie and whenever any family member would eat them I would feel so bad that they were eating so many calories in one go even if they probably didn't care.
Anyone else like this?
[Rant/Rave] After two years of not knowing, I found my answer in our kiss!
/u/skydiver89 [skinny fat AF at 5'4" and 140 lbs]
Created: Sun Nov 26 07:11:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fn3ig/after_two_years_of_not_knowing_i_found_my_answer/
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I dated a guy for two months two years ago. It wasn't anything serious at the time, but my feelings for him did grow and I decided it was unhealthy to keep seeing him. We disagreed on no contact a few times, would do NC, break it, and then go NC again because I would act like a bitch towards him because I still had residual feelings for him.
We finally started talking again this year. I was having mental health issues and told him all about them because I trusted him. He was always very supportive and nice to me.
So the other day, we took a walk together and he told me I looked amazing. He asked how I am doing and I kind of lied, just because I don't want my business known right now. My ed is currently getting worse and I'm losing weight like crazy. I sighed and he asked me what was wrong. I told him, "you know what!" And he smiled and said he knew and tickled my side for a second.
Well, he's a pilot that flies skydivers (I'm a skydiver) and he was flying that day. A cessna 182 holds 5 people, including the pilot. I signed up tp jump hoping to get on his plane. I did! The three other jumpers were going to do something I wasn't intetested in, so I told them they could jump out first and then I could go last. So they jumped and I immediately moved towards the door, where the pilot is. We looked at each other and I knew the look. I leaned over and kissed him three times. I almost forgot where I was!
He squeezed my hand and told me if I wanted to make it back to the dropzone I should probably jump now. I laughed, got out on the step, and jumped and smiled up at him.
I needed to get this off my chest. I've had such a shitty week last week and Friday was the best day I've had in awhile. I'm not looking for a relationship because I have a lot of work to do on myself right now. I don't have any expectations from him. It just feels good...to know someone can like me, despite all the problems I do have. As I've grown older, it's the little things that make me happy. A few kisses from someone I care about is enough. I don't need a full blown relationship. That'll come when it's time. Right now, I'm just riding the happy wave in life. :)
[Goal] Proud of myself! Didn't succumb to temptations
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | CW 153.9 | 24.94 | -7.3 | GW 128 | F22]
Created: Sun Nov 26 07:09:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fn34j/proud_of_myself_didnt_succumb_to_temptations/
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So I had 4 hour long language lessons today, and the topic was basically food for 2 hours. We talked about how to make things, favorite foods, traditional foods, what you ate at home, where you eat. Just food talk for about 2 hours. I was in that class having had 290 calories for the day. the lord was testing me.
But now it's 11pm and I've only had 750 (goal was <700, but I'll take it). There's no food in my apartment, so I'm home free!
[Help] fasting to get out of a binge?
/u/lowkeydeadinside [5'6" | cw: 125 | ugw: 98 | 17F | 🍑: starvingprincess]
Created: Sun Nov 26 07:07:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fn2kc/fasting_to_get_out_of_a_binge/
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[removed]
[Other] Colonoscopy tomorrow.
/u/Miss_Embie [167 | F | CW: 61 | GW: 57]
Created: Sun Nov 26 06:52:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fmzxk/colonoscopy_tomorrow/
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Am I strange that I'm supper excited to be drinking 4 packets of Kleanprep later to completely empty my bowels. 😆
[Discussion] How long do you like to fast for after having a massive meal??
/u/ceillman [5'6 | CW:121 | 19.2 | GW:116 | -18.7]
Created: Sun Nov 26 06:22:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fmuys/how_long_do_you_like_to_fast_for_after_having_a/
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[removed]
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 26, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Nov 26 05:11:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fmjlz/daily_food_diary_november_26_2017/
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This is a daily food diary thread for November 26, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your favorite recipes!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Nov 26 05:10:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fmjiz/sunday_share_your_favorite_recipes/
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Looking for memes? [Right this way~](/r/ProEDmemes)!
[Discussion] DAE go through periods of actively isolating yourself?
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Sun Nov 26 04:39:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fmf3i/dae_go_through_periods_of_actively_isolating/
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I’m just tired of everyone especially friends and family who want to help but will never get it. I put my phone on do not disturb and I’m not checking email. Just need to be alone, well that’ll probably make things worse but it’s what I feel I need.
[Help] Not ed but...
/u/aliceintheair
Created: Sun Nov 26 03:39:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fm732/not_ed_but/
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The only person I’ve ever loved told me he won’t ever feel the same today.
I lost 10kg since I met him because I wanted to be perfect for him and now I just feel hollow....utterly hollow.
It makes me want to stop eating even more ironically.
I’m new here but I could really use some support through this.
The only person I’ve ever loved told me he doesn’t feel the same today
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 26 03:33:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fm6ab/the_only_person_ive_ever_loved_told_me_he_doesnt/
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[deleted]
[Help] The weight on the scale went up but my wrists are smaller?
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 57.1kg | BMI 18.86 |- 15kg | GW 52kg | 24F]
Created: Sun Nov 26 03:10:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fm3dm/the_weight_on_the_scale_went_up_but_my_wrists_are/
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So I weighed myself after a bad week and I really need to get back on the wagon.
I weighed at 60.3kg (and I ate a LOT of carbs - carbs are my delicious enemy). However, I can actually wrap my fingers round my wrist and I have a fair amount of space.
I usually weigh in at about 57.5kg. So what's happening here? How do I get that number back?
Thank you!
How much should I weigh?
/u/liesllane
Created: Sun Nov 26 02:04:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7flujs/how_much_should_i_weigh/
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[removed]
[Other] i don’t know what to flair this
/u/fortunate-foolx
Created: Sun Nov 26 00:37:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7flid2/i_dont_know_what_to_flair_this/
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i don’t really know where to post this; but here goes, as this is the only community i really trust.
i’m dating this guy, and i feel so madly deeply in love with him, but i’m also, very very gay, if that makes sense. but this one, single man. i’ve NEVER had any feelings for a man, lustful or not, yet this one man has turned this upside down, but i feel undeserving. this is causing my ED habits to spiral. but here’s the kicker: i have a huge, deep crush on this girl. she’s perfect; all soft curves and dainty hands, long hair and soft, luscious lips. the complete opposite of my boyfriend. and it kills me, because he is so amazing and perfect, and i’m a shitty horrible person who can’t even make up my mind on who i want to be with. i want a future and maybe kids with this man, but i am so conflicted. fuck human emotions, and their impact on my habits. i’ve been fasting for 38 hours because i don’t deserve food if i can’t even commit to my boyfriend. i know i haven’t cheated yet i feel like i am.
edit: she’s also very intelligent and calm, and has amazing taste in everything, very artistic and complex, the opposite of my mechanic simple-minded boyfriend. but they’re both charming in their own way.
[Other] I'm going to miss you so much; Goodbye, proED
/u/charredsouls
Created: Sun Nov 26 00:34:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7flhyk/im_going_to_miss_you_so_much_goodbye_proed/
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I've been bulimic since June of 2016. I'll never forget the first time. At the end of last year, my weight loss success hit a high point as I finally reached an underweight BMI. The winter of 2017 revealed that my bulimia wasn't going anywhere. The 'choice' I thought I made to purge was no longer a choice; it was a compulsion, a life-sustaining device through which I could forget my anxieties and sadness, even if only for 5 minutes as I shakily swayed over my stained toilet.
I created a mini crisis by inhaling thousands upon thousands of calories so that instead of my parent's ailing health, the world around me not being controllable like I thought it was growing up, and the apathy I felt toward life itself being the center point of my attention, it became the unbearable weight of my stomach and the need to rid myself of what I hated and loved so much: food.
I waited and waited for this time to come. It's my day of reckoning without the fireworks or melodrama. I've finally had enough with bulimia. When I was at my worst, I thought I was going to have a catastrophic low that would shake me out of this haze that has changed my outlook on everything from public bathrooms to the way I view myself. The funny part is that this isn't even the lowest of my lows. I can reserve that forever for the winter of 2017. I'm just indifferent now. I've found the answer that was here all along: binging and purging is a way to distract myself from the life I should be living. The life where there are ups and there are downs, but with perseverance and grit it can be conquered, enjoyed, and lived.
ProED was a space for me to feel comfortable with who I am and what I've become. There's truly nowhere else on the internet like this forum, and I don't know if I'd arrive at my hopeful road to recovery without it. Knowing basic safety guidelines and understanding that there are people out there just like me has been invaluable to maintaining my humanity.
So I guess this is my final goodbye. I'm ready to recover. I know I'll probably relapse, and make mistake upon mistake upon mistake, but it didn't feel right to not send out one final goodbye. No matter what stage you're at in your eating disorder, please never forget that recovery will always be possible and that we all deserve healthy lives that don't revolve around paranoia, anxiety, and longing.
I'm hoping for the best. I hope it for you, too.
[Rant/Rave] I Give Up.
/u/kvikerdragen [5'6.5" | 22F | CW 117.0 | GW 111 | HW 182]
Created: Sun Nov 26 00:11:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fleec/i_give_up/
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I know it's just after Thanksgiving, and it would be best to have patience. But I also know myself and how I've been acting the past couple weeks.
It's binge after binge every single day, every time I get close to where my weight was I fuck it up again. I can't stop. Every little thing sets me off.
I purge every thing I eat. I eat nothing all day, then two thousand calories in twenty minutes. I wake up and eat a thousand calories right away. I try to eat a balanced amount of food then talk to my mom and binge harder than ever.
I can't take it any more. I just can't. I don't have the willpower to resist the temptation of food everywhere without going off it completely. I "ran away" again today to get out of the house. I'm smoking more and more. I cut again for the first time in nearly two weeks.
So I'm done. I'm not eating any more until I'm forced by one thing or another. I just don't know what else to do. It's the only way I can stop this.
[Rant/Rave] just a quick vent about validity
/u/archerofdawn [154cm | SW 164 | CW 146 | GW 88 | NB]
Created: Sat Nov 25 23:56:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7flbyb/just_a_quick_vent_about_validity/
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I've been binging a lot lately and generally having a hard time restricting which i could probably work with on its own but also it feels like literally everyone that i know has an ED or some kind of similar disordered eating habit because of mental illness. like out of a group of 4 including me, 1 has EDNOS and the other two have bad eating habits. i'm actually dating someone with disordered eating, and one of her friends also has an ED but idk what type. a good friend of mine might actually be purging. two of his friends also have ED problems. they're all online friends but as someone who spends the vast majority of their time online, i'm essentially surrounded by people who starve themselves perfectly fine (from what i can see) or like...actually struggle with not eating enough (which is *really* fucked up for me to be jealous about but). my sister survives off one meal a day too and she's literally 100lbs
i know binging is disordered eating but like...it's the perception of EDs being heavily skewed towards the underweight/anorexia side of things that's really fucking me up because i can't help but tell myself that i have the 'ugly' and 'unsympathetic' and 'disgusting' and 'fatty fatty lazy' kind of ED and i keep on yelling at myself that if i really thought i didn't deserve the food i'd keep it the fuck out of my hands and yet. i wish i could only eat two bites out of compulsion. i wish i could do 100h fasts. i need to be poor and have no money so that i can't buy food. idk. i just feel really dirty like i can't even be sick properly and i want to die. it sucks.
as much as i want to say 'well maybe let's do things well in december' it's...not probably going to go well lmao. but i guess i'll try idk
Post Thanksgiving Fast - who is with me!?
/u/sneakykeykey [5'4" | SW:150 | CW: 125 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 25 23:28:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fl7lc/post_thanksgiving_fast_who_is_with_me/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Weird reality check regarding dysmorphia
/u/missalligator [5'2" | 97 lb | GW: happy | BMI 18.3]
Created: Sat Nov 25 23:18:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fl60v/weird_reality_check_regarding_dysmorphia/
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Before going home for Thanksgiving I made an attempt to recover and gain some so 1. I wouldn't worry my parents so much and 2. so I wouldn't trigger my younger sisters (15) who both have histories of EDs. I was 103 lbs when I went back and felt alright about it. Ate normally all week: bread, cheese, eggs, dairy, sugar, whatever I wanted. No restrictions, no rules, no counting, no weighing myself. Full thanksgiving dinner with seconds, and dessert, and more cheese and crackers in the middle of the night. And I enjoyed it. Not weighing myself was a little stressful and my anxiety was bad doing all these things and breaking all my rules. I really expected to gain a few with how much I was eating and how little I was exercising.
The whole drive back to school I couldn't stop glancing at my thighs and arms thinking how massive they had gotten. I wanted to cry and scream. I kept mushing and poking my thighs hoping the fat would go away.
I had to get on my scale as soon as I got back to my apartment. A week "sober" from weighing myself was killing me. I stepped on, closed my eyes, and refused to look until I worked up the courage.
It said 97. I dropped 6 lbs over this week while abandoning all disordered behavior. I don't have an explanation for it; perhaps I was on my feet more, who knows. I expected to be 110 honestly. I expected to start crying. I'm realizing I can't trust my expectations. This disorder gives me a false sense of being able to predict everything accurately, but in reality its only ever proven to me how impossible that is. Especially when it comes to metabolism. Not that there aren't general principles to these things that are true - I'd never deny CICO - but its not so simple as a day-to-day basis kind of thing and thats what is keeping me addicted to this. Thinking I can control tomorrow. My sense of control also screws me over in thinking I know that 1 oz of cheese will make me gain X amount or restricting X many calories will make me lose this much exactly. Life just doesn't work that way. I really need to accept that my perceptions are flawed and I can't predict the future. Just wanted to share that in case it provides some insight to anyone else.
[Discussion] This is crazy, but do you ever think of what you would do when pregnant?
/u/PatternsInMyLife
Created: Sat Nov 25 23:11:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fl4tp/this_is_crazy_but_do_you_ever_think_of_what_you/
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I am 5'4 and weigh like 130 now, and if I ever wanted to get pregnant I would get down to 110 which is still a healthy weight for my height. Then, I could gain twenty five pounds and it's a healthy weight gain, but I wouldn't gain excessively.
[Rant/Rave] Girlfriend is now avoiding my food triggers :-)
/u/dipped_in_gold_ [5'3 | CW lmao | GW 105 | 22F]
Created: Sat Nov 25 22:17:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fkv7o/girlfriend_is_now_avoiding_my_food_triggers/
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I finally told my girlfriend that I was uncomfortable eating a certain fast food place that we get together pretty often, and that it was a trigger for me. She was super supportive, which is great, but now she's telling me that she won't ever eat it if I'm around and I feel horrible. It's one of her favorite places to eat and we spend so much time together, so she's basically cutting something out of her life just because of me.
This isn't what I wanted and I just want to cry because I feel horrible and I can never tell her my triggering foods again
[Discussion] Review/thoughts on the ABC diet?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 25 22:04:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fksv8/reviewthoughts_on_the_abc_diet/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] What the fuck is recovery if you're not skinny enough?
/u/PandorasMusicalBox [5'4" | CW: 124 | GW: 125 | UGW:115 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 25 20:55:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fkfb3/what_the_fuck_is_recovery_if_youre_not_skinny/
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Just a rant here but honestly what the fuck is it? Inpatient recovery and all that stuff just seems to force feed you so many calories to make up for lost weight. But I'm just a failed anorexic who binges too much and so I've only lost 10 pounds since I've started consciously trying to lose weight. Still in a healthy BMI and would need to lose about 30 or so more pounds to get into the underweight category. Would recovery mean gaining back the weight I lost to straddle the line between healthy and overweight?
Or is it just finding a way to like my body? I've never been satisfied with my body and I honestly don't think I ever will. Is it being ok with eating high calorie things? Is it not being stressed out after eating high calorie things?
God knows I'm not skinny enough to even think about recovering (if ever). And I don't intend to give up my ED. And what about all those times where I eat a meal and l feel completely fine? Where I don't actually freak out or regret eating? Am I "recovered" then? Or am I even sick in the first place?
Restricting really well! Down 6ish lbs (2.9kg) in 8 days!
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | CW 153.9 | 24.94 | -7.3 | GW 128 | F22]
Created: Sat Nov 25 20:54:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fkf5k/restricting_really_well_down_6ish_lbs_29kg_in_8/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] After spending 2 weeks in a mental ward, my mom tells me she doesn't think I have an ED...
/u/floodinginmymind [5'8" | CW: 135 | BMI: 20.4 | WL: 47 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 25 20:50:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fkecf/after_spending_2_weeks_in_a_mental_ward_my_mom/
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So I went into the hospital for self harm, but they soon took notice of me not eating and put me on an ED track and meal plan. I'm doing outpatient therapy 6 hours a day, Monday through Friday, and the staff is spending a lot of time focusing on my ED. However, I'm still about 7 lbs from being underweight.
I'm still trying to lose weight, but it's very hard to when my doctors and parents are aware of my habits. So now I only eat when I'm in front of people so they don't suspect anything.
Here's the kicker... My mom told me a week ago (three days into my outpatient therapy) that she doesn't think I have an ED. I told her I agreed with her because honestly I want to keep starving myself.
Her not believing that I have an ED has only fueled me to lose so much that she starts to worry.
It's things like this that remind me no one cares if you have an ED unless you're underweight.
[Rant/Rave] I thought I was healthy...actually I'm just fat and vain
/u/gross9876 [-16 lb | nb]
Created: Sat Nov 25 20:43:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fkcwn/i_thought_i_was_healthyactually_im_just_fat_and/
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**tl;dr** The real world is harsh. Getting to 100 pounds will take me over a month, which I was not prepared for. Now I feel tired. I feel tired of eating 500 calories each day now.
**extra info:**
Alright. I understand. I have body dysmorphia disorder in the opposite direction of you guys.
I assumed I weighed 115 pounds and was just browsing this sub for kicks.
The truth? My BMI is overweight! (I'm actually 133.)
I'm so vain that I assumed all the scales I came across were off by at least 15 pounds...imagine the self-delusion.
I'm still in such disbelief. If I'm overweight, why do I look so skinny in the mirror? Why do people on the street stop me to ask for my number? Why am I so damn sexy to everyone I meet?
Joking aside...I'm very confused by my self-perception. I've been researching ASPD/NPD for a while and even though I think I have neither, I wonder if this is a symptom...irrationally high levels of self-confidence. Reality is harsh.
[Rant/Rave] I’m such a dumbass and now I’m worried
/u/oxygens_overrated [5'4|HW:150|CW:147|LW:113|GW:125 |F| ]
Created: Sat Nov 25 20:22:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fk8w1/im_such_a_dumbass_and_now_im_worried/
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So today I’ve been suffering from constant body aches, so bad that I literally wanna cry. So I took some excedrin because I also had a migraine. I took two and it did nothing so I asked my friend if I could take some of his ibuprofen. I didn’t think anything of them being prescription and so I took my normal two. Well they helped the migraine a bit but my body still ached so I went to take one more but then I noticed they are 600 mg each!!!! I freaked out because I realized I took 1200 mg of ibuprofen at once and went to google the side effects. Apparently even 1000 mg of ibuprofen at once can cause some SERIOUS stomach issues. And all the advice said to eat as much as I can right now before the stomach troubles start. So now I’m terrified. I haven’t eaten all day so I literally took those on an empty stomach... And I do NOT want to eat but now I’m buckling down praying that the stomach pain doesn’t get too bad :(
[Rant/Rave] Sometimes I just don’t know why Im doing this.
/u/lavenderbruises [5'9"|CW 109| GW 100| BMI 15.87| 19F]
Created: Sat Nov 25 20:17:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fk80e/sometimes_i_just_dont_know_why_im_doing_this/
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No one looks at me. Nobody is going to notice or care whether my calves are 13 inches thick or 11. They’re not going to notice a difference if Im 109 pounds or 100. So why I am torturing myself like this. Whats the point.
[Rant/Rave] 90kcal/slice of cheese
/u/AnaWahad [174 cm | CW 80 | HW 100kg | GW 50kg | F | 🍑 Kelkein]
Created: Sat Nov 25 19:59:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fk4ea/90kcalslice_of_cheese/
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This is so crazy who's the dickhead that thought this was a good idea. Hell, who even buys that shit when there's a perfectly fine 30kcal/slice cheese right there. I already thought 60kcal was pushing it, but this? just stop.
Can't wait to do my own shopping.
[Other] Cold water feels so good when it hits an empty stomach.
/u/IttyBittyBatty [5'5" | CW 😱 | -17.4lb | F]
Created: Sat Nov 25 19:40:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fk0n9/cold_water_feels_so_good_when_it_hits_an_empty/
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[removed]
[Other] Coworker accidentally suggests purging
/u/TSputnik [5'3" | CW 129 | HW 210 | UGW 100]
Created: Sat Nov 25 19:39:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fk0c8/coworker_accidentally_suggests_purging/
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So I've sadly been eating nonstop since Thanksgiving, and I'm bloated and painfully full. I complained about my digestive distress to a co-worker and she just flat out says "Make yourself throw up! Or get some laxatives!" In a cheerful voice.
My face: 8V
I'm preeeetty sure she doesn't have an ED or anything... I feel like she'd hide something like that if she did, right? Or maybe she has bulimic tendencies and doesn't realize it's not normal?? Either way, it was a kinda funny, kinda concerning WTF moment for sure...
[Discussion] What are some dumb goals that you're looking forward to when you reach your gw?
/u/AnaWahad [174 cm | CW 80 | HW 100kg | GW 50kg | F | 🍑 Kelkein]
Created: Sat Nov 25 19:17:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fjvw5/what_are_some_dumb_goals_that_youre_looking/
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I have many, but one of them is to be at the top of a human pyramid. We don't do those anymore in PE, but when I was younger, I was always at the bottom and the thin girl at the top always seemed to have a ton of fun + no sore back :/
[Tip] Your occasional reminder of water weight and the fact it's normal.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW: 141.4 | UGW 105 | 25/F]
Created: Sat Nov 25 18:50:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fjq9s/your_occasional_reminder_of_water_weight_and_the/
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This week was tough for a lot of us in the US. Thanksgiving tends to mess with us physically and emotionally.
More than a few of us might have been surprised by a sudden weight gain after some indulgence. Maybe way more than should be expected.
* It's not fat. It's a combo of food and water and waste and the tiniest bit of real weight gain, if any.
* You most like had higher amounts of sodium compared to your normal intake.
* You may have eaten heavier foods and things that simply take long to digest.
It's okay. Do not throw all your progress out the window and think 'fuck it, I'll just keep going down this road of weight gain'.
Drink plenty of water, watch your sodium, and get some exercise. It doesn't have to be 4 hours on the elliptical or anything insane. Even a simple walk helps to get things moving although I have personally noticed sweating helps me a bit more.
It can take a few days to even out. I can even take 7-10 days sometimes to get back to where I was. It's okay.
Keep going and drink water. Do what you feel you need to do.
Sometimes we need reminding we didn't actually gain 10 pounds in one day. I didn't even feel I ate *that much* during the holiday, but I ate crap food and it caused a 7 pound jump. I didn't like it, but I still knew I didn't eat 24,500 calories over my TDEE in a couple days. Even I'm not that ambitious.
Keep going. Setbacks are not failures. They are setbacks as long as you keep moving forward. You can do it.
[Discussion] Does anyone have any podcast recommendations?
/u/bearantenna8611
Created: Sat Nov 25 18:48:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fjpyg/does_anyone_have_any_podcast_recommendations/
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I listen to a loooooot of podcasts but none on EDs. Does anyone have any good recommendations for podcasts about EDs—specifically binge eating disorder? I welcome comedy and dark comedy as well if that’s the kind you listen to. I already listen to science podcasts, so anything very clinical I’m open to as well.
[Rant/Rave] I am a hollow shell of myself after experiencing the worst few weeks of my life...but something something thigh gap.
/u/MissMagus
Created: Sat Nov 25 18:47:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fjpnf/i_am_a_hollow_shell_of_myself_after_experiencing/
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https://imgur.com/VPeHyUr
[Rant/Rave] Fucked up tonight (overate) and I want to purge but I stupidly just took my antidepressant and don’t want to waste that
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 25 18:44:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fjoz7/fucked_up_tonight_overate_and_i_want_to_purge_but/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fjoz7/fucked_up_tonight_overate_and_i_want_to_purge_but/
[Help] Who are some of your favorite recipe bloggers? Need to diversify.
/u/dbt-girl
Created: Sat Nov 25 18:31:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fjmfr/who_are_some_of_your_favorite_recipe_bloggers/
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Skinnytaste is my go-to for recipes. I also follow Food, Faith, and Fitness and Fit Foodie Finds. I feel like, at least based on my facebook feed, they like to post a lot of energy balls and shit.
I want myself some meals, not snacks.
Help plz.
[Intro] (: :)
/u/DLWheeler0510
Created: Sat Nov 25 18:23:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fjkur/_/
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Hello! I've been wandering around this sub for a very long time, 3 months. I just wanted to be sure this was the place for me.. (: I have been struggling with binging and restricting since I was 11 , I grew up in a household where how you looked was very harshly critiqued.. um yeah! I'm a girl first off! And I am 5'6" and weigh 113.4 (it's weird how I've memorized this anyone else seem to memorize that number?) yeah and I've had a really hard month, I still lost weight (thank god) but I honestly have no idea how , I have been eating around 2,500 cal a day, that's basically two days worth of food and I get stressed cuz of it and then I eat more to make up for it.. so it's a circle of crapiness yeah... that's all! 💚
[Other] Every time my boyfriend asks me to shake the cakes 😭
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 25 18:06:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fjhas/every_time_my_boyfriend_asks_me_to_shake_the_cakes/
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https://i.redd.it/25qe6ki2z7001.jpg
[Discussion] Anyone else get irrationally angry when a new treat/binge food isn’t as good as you expected but you eat it anyway and hate yourself?
/u/quoth_the_phoenix
Created: Sat Nov 25 18:00:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fjfvn/anyone_else_get_irrationally_angry_when_a_new/
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Rainbow Swirl Halo Top was such a disappointment and yet I ate 3/4 of the pint and I didn’t even like the taste.
[Discussion] Restricting Sleep Like Food
/u/doyouhearthatbatsy [5'7" | GW: 105lbs]
Created: Sat Nov 25 17:49:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fjdgz/restricting_sleep_like_food/
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I was just wondering if anyone else here has a similar relationship to sleep that they do to food. I get supremely anxious if I sleep more than 3 hours a night, and if I do sleep more, I usually eat less to compensate for it. This is pretty problematic because the sleep deprivation affects my mood disorder, and the double whammy of sleep deprivation-starvation does my energy levels dirty. I know this is probably a bit esoteric, but I just wanted to see if anyone else could relate.
[Rant/Rave] Having palpitations
/u/bagelzyumersz
Created: Sat Nov 25 17:48:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fjdb3/having_palpitations/
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I have an EKG on Sunday and I'm not sure what their going to say.
[Rant/Rave] Does anyone else purge only when you're planning on eating more?
/u/overdonesecret [5'3.5 | CW: 135 | GW: 95]
Created: Sat Nov 25 17:09:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fj4q4/does_anyone_else_purge_only_when_youre_planning/
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When I first started purging, back in high school, I would do it at least once a day. I just hated the feeling of having food in my stomach. Nowadays, I wish I still did that (just cause I've gotten so fat) but I don't have the willpower to make myself throw up all the time.
I mostly only throw up if I've eaten a lot, feel like I physically can't eat any more, but I still want to keep binging. Am I alone in this? Like, last week, I was at an all-you-can-eat buffet. I threw up like twice just so I could keep eating "all I can eat." Today, I binged on Thanksgiving leftovers, but my dad wants to go to a food festival tonight and get burgers. I don't even want a burger, but I feel like I have to eat it, and since I was full from binging I just purged, only so I can have room to eat burgers.
Please tell me someone else does this so I don't feel like a freak.
Edit: My dad just said he doesn't wanna go to the festival anymore and I feel like I need to fill this empty stomach space with literally anything else wow what's wrong with me
[Help] Tips for hunger pangs?
/u/vctrlcs [5'6" | CW: 154.5 | GW: 130 | UGW: 115 | BMI: 24.9 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 25 16:29:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fiw6u/tips_for_hunger_pangs/
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Do you guys have any tips for staving off hunger pangs? I always cave and eat over my goal and I hate it.
[Rant/Rave] Tonight is more than I can handle
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 25 16:18:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fitrx/tonight_is_more_than_i_can_handle/
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I've mentioned this a few other times on here I think but tonight is the night I have to go to a formal event. I was feeling pretty good about myself- I found a vintage designer dress in an Italian 36 (a US 0) that I actually fit into, I contoured everything to hell and back, and everyone said how good I look. But then I went to get dressed with my family and my cousin was there, and she's so impossibly tiny that I feel like a giant. She's wearing one of my dresses and it's huge on her. My arms are so fat compared to hers, my legs are so giant and muscular. I manage to be both bonier and fatter than she is at the same time, so I get the worst of both worlds, and everyone is *so worried* about her but never says anything about me, even though I've been underweight for a long time. I keep having to resist the urge to stand next to her and stare in the mirror so I can compare. I know intellectually that I can't possibly be that much bigger than she is because we can wear all the same clothes, but the fact that nobody is worried about me makes me think that she must be so much smaller than I am and that I'll never get to her size. Advice would be welcome. I'm just trying to get through tonight without losing it.
Edit: and my cousin is making anorexic jokes about his girlfriend, but still nobody thinks about me as thin.
[Rant/Rave] my first purge since high school because i binged so much today :(
/u/ScrunchiesandDraino [5’8” |cw:250 |-25lbs |20F]
Created: Sat Nov 25 16:17:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fitlf/my_first_purge_since_high_school_because_i_binged/
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I used to purge a lot, not often but whenever i would eat so much it would physically hurt i would puke it up because i was in pain. Today was like that. I was a fucking vacuum for a few hours this morning and now, hours later, i feel still like nothing has digested and i’m the most bloated person in the world.
i have to go to work in an hour, but most of my day has been naps, eating, and moaning in pain.
Next week i’m going to fast for the first time, and restrict myself to 3500kcal for the whole week. I really really hope i can do it because i hate feeling full and bloated, but i like feeling hungry, or just being full of water.
i just never ever want to do this again, i feel like such shit and after 25lbs of progress over the past month and a half, i should learn that overeating doesn’t ever make you feel better, but eating nothing feels fucking awesome.
i just needed to get my feelings out, thanks if you read this 😘.
Looking for proana buddy!
/u/sthrune23
Created: Sat Nov 25 16:08:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7firh1/looking_for_proana_buddy/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Triggered by my mother
/u/hmptrw
Created: Sat Nov 25 15:57:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fioje/triggered_by_my_mother/
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I’ve been working (retail) all day, and after eating a few hours ago my net total was at -88. I try to eat more on the weekends because I hate feeling hungry while I’m at work, so I decided I was going to make a slice of toast.
When I went downstairs my mother accused me of sneaking around for food, called me greedy, said it was “shocking” (colloquially used to mean disgusting or bad in our region).
Needless to say I didn’t make toast, which is good in the long run, but feeling undeserving of food is awful. It’s going to be a long night.
[Discussion] DAE decide whether or not to buy an expensive piece of clothing based on fitting into a certain size?
/u/itsalwaysthesaame
Created: Sat Nov 25 15:56:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fiof6/dae_decide_whether_or_not_to_buy_an_expensive/
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I do this all the time. If I really like something but it’s more expensive than I would normally be okay with, I tell myself I’m allowed to get it IF I fit into a size below my normal size. The smaller the better “a deal” it becomes. I know how stupid this is because at the end of the day my body is my body - vanity sizing be damned. But it’s what goes through my mind no matter what.
[Rant/Rave] I hate being a minor
/u/proudnalgeneowner [5'5 | CW94.8 | UGW88 | 15.96 | 17F]
Created: Sat Nov 25 15:53:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7finp7/i_hate_being_a_minor/
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I'd like to be honest with my therapist. I'd like to be able to tell her that things are bad again. I want help, this is so hard to manage on my own and hiding from everyone is taking over my life.
But what I don't want is to be forced into residential (or IP) and lose ~2.5 months of my life. I'm estimating 2.5 months because that's what it took me to gain enough weight last time.
If I tell her it's gotten bad again, she'll freak out and tell my parents, then she'll threaten to call CPS if I don't go to residential (this is what happened last time). I won't have the option to negotiate, I won't have the option to work with her to convince my parents a dietician is worth the money. I can't risk this. I'm on *junior year: take two* because of residential and I can't afford a take three. My school is very strict on absences, if you're absent more than 19 school days you won't receive credit for your courses. I need to get out of this house ASAP (I could go on for pages about that, but that's another story).
My current plan is to try to not restrict too low, and once I'm at my UGW (88) I'll maintain for real. Then once school is out for summer I can go to treatment and hopefully be back in time for the start of senior year. I'll have to spend my 18th birthday in treatment though.
[Rant/Rave] I'm never going to Starbucks again, and here's why.
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 132.5 lbs | 19.6 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 25 15:43:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fili9/im_never_going_to_starbucks_again_and_heres_why/
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So the other day I witnessed another bad business practice at Starbucks, and it was the last drop in the bucket, so to speak. I have already had them give me incorrect calorie information, heard many stories of that happening to other people, messing up orders (like using full sugar syrups instead of no sugar ones OMFG NO), etc., but I still would go to them because their cold brew was damn good. I EVEN knew that they dilute the cold brew by default, (but they let you ask for no added water, so I could tolerate that). BUT THEN I SAW THE FOLLOWING.
An employee got out two half-empty pitchers of cold brew or iced coffee (Idk which, because they both look the same - but it doesn't matter), and the employee filled them up with ice and put them back in the fridge. So like, they diluted the coffee EVEN FUCKING MORE. **So if you ask for cold brew by default, you are getting 25% product and 75% water. AND THEN THEY PUT IT IN A CUP WITH A BUNCH OF ICE, TOO.** Fuck, really? Does Trump run this place? Damn.
I *already* knew that Starbucks was a dessert drink store masquerading as a coffee store. But like, this was the last straw. I cannot comfortably give them my business anymore.
I'm mainly posting this because a lot of you on Peach asked to know, so here you go!
[Other] Pretty sure it's time for me to throw in the towel. I want to be happy for the holidays.
/u/TheThirdCloneOfXyxl
Created: Sat Nov 25 15:13:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fievw/pretty_sure_its_time_for_me_to_throw_in_the_towel/
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After a seriously scary episode of blacking out and having palpitations all day, my ECG results were fucked and I think it's just time to try recovery again. I'm now underweight and to be honest I look kind of gross.
This community is so supportive and sweet, I wish all of you the best for the holidays cause they're stressful and you sweet people don't deserve that stress.
I'm gonna TRY to reach my TDEE every day, because I know I'm stronger than an obnoxious screaming voice in my head telling me I'm too fat. Fight me, bitch.
I miss being warm, I miss eating more than one meal a day, I miss sleeping for 8 hours each night and I miss being happy. So thanks to all of the people here who've made this hellish disorder a little more bearable. Happy holidays and take care you guys!
[Discussion] My boss just called me while I was in the shower...
/u/msfixir
Created: Sat Nov 25 14:45:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fi8r4/my_boss_just_called_me_while_i_was_in_the_shower/
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Sitting on the floor while scrolling thinspo- like this is a personal moment please do not interrupt.
All jokes aside I feel like I was caught red handed even though I definitely wasn't in any way. Anyone else have these moments?
[Rant/Rave] I got a thigh gap. It only took being sexually assaulted and having my boyfriend of 10 years tell me he doesnt love me anymore. Everything is fine. I'm fine.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 25 14:31:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fi5og/i_got_a_thigh_gap_it_only_took_being_sexually/
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https://imgur.com/lKp8voa
Thanksgiving and a 3 day binge
/u/sentientdippindots
Created: Sat Nov 25 14:29:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fi52d/thanksgiving_and_a_3_day_binge/
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[removed]
[Discussion] A difficult but successful day?!
/u/daisyhands
Created: Sat Nov 25 14:07:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fi0a0/a_difficult_but_successful_day/
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(sorry for the big recap of my day, you don’t have to read this aha)
okay so after on and off binges for literally over a month, i’ve finally decided to do the ABC Diet. i have tried it once before but i failed. when i’m not binging, my usually restriction is 500 calories a day which is why the first day wasn’t too difficult for me because it was 500 cals and i’m used to that. however since i’m getting out of a binge cycle, i ended up eating all of the food i planned to eat before 16:30. i planned what i would eat the night before so for breakfast i had an 85 cal white chocolate mousse, for lunch i had some porridge made with water instead of milk which was 100 calories and also a rich tea biscuit which was 36. i ate breakfast at around 8:00 and lunch at 11:40 because my eating patterns are fucked so i ate earlier to avoid binging idk it worked tho. then at 13:00, i ate an 93 cal vanilla yoghurt that had dark chocolate sprinkles in it. i put this in the freezer the night before so that it would resemble ice cream and it would take longer to eat. then i didn’t eat until 15:30 when i had lentil and vegetable soup which was 172 cals.
This was a problem because it took me about half an hour to finish the soup and then i had already eaten all of my calories. i usually drink diet cokes and flavoured waters however not eating a lot along with drinking about 4 litres isn’t very good apparently?? i may be completely wrong but i read about it on tumblr and it scared me. please please please if this is wrong then educate me because i’d really like to know and google is no help. anyways, i was going to the toilet like twice every hour and my FUCKING PEE WAS LITERALLY CLEAR like water ??? i googled it and it said it should be pale yellow?? nevermind. the rest of the night i’ve been dizzy and shaky and trying to not binge. my grandma bought over fish and chips for herself and my brother but i avoided it even though i wanted to eat some so bad. it has been difficult not to just go down and eat and since i’ve been too scared to drink anymore, it’s been more difficult. i’m hungry however it’s 21:00 now and i am certain i will not leave my room to eat tonight. i feel accomplished but today has been very challenging
[Rant/Rave] Starbucks always screws up my order and I'm angry.
/u/sogyosha
Created: Sat Nov 25 14:01:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fhyt8/starbucks_always_screws_up_my_order_and_im_angry/
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I'm having a full-on temper tantrum right now because starbucks screwed up my order, which added 170 calories to my day. I was supposed to fast today and now it's ruined and I'm just mad. And this happens so often!! How hard is it to understand a black coffee with sugar free syrup?
I mean it's not like I'm really mad at the baristas or anything (working at starbucks sucks and they don't need another angry customer) but I'm really mad that I wasted calories on something I didn't want.
Anyone else get irrationally angry at this sort of thing?
[Discussion] How often do you drink alcohol?
/u/Shh_its_not_me_yo [5'7 | CW: 123.8 | SW: 170 | GW: Less | Gender: F]
Created: Sat Nov 25 13:25:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fhqj1/how_often_do_you_drink_alcohol/
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I am dying to go to a wine bar tonight, but cannot silence the guilt of extra calories.
I am feeling pretty good about myself for once, and want to be in public after not being social a couple of weeks.
I am thinking maybe just three glasses of wine, which should give me a pretty good buzz.
I ran 6 miles today, but I’ve already eaten 800 calories.
Right now I’m wishing I could just be normal for once and get out and listen to some music and enjoy life and have some wine. And maybe flirt, haha.
I think I am struggling also because I used to drink nightly, which made me gain 30 lbs. now I’ve lost 50 lbs, and never want to go back to being heavier.
[Other] Planning my meals keeps my anxiety in check
/u/mintslut [4'11 | CW: 115.4 | UGW: 84 | -8.2lbs | F]
Created: Sat Nov 25 13:05:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fhltr/planning_my_meals_keeps_my_anxiety_in_check/
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https://i.imgur.com/iwlfwxK.jpg
[Intro] I have the worst relationship with food.
/u/-momoyome- [5"3' | HW: 270 CW: 197 GW: 99 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 25 12:24:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fhc53/i_have_the_worst_relationship_with_food/
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I've been binging-restricting-dieting for 11 years now. I wasn't always heavy, I did sports growing up and ate whatever and was generally fine (like every other active teenager).
At 18 I was 220 pounds. I was more or less happy, but I met a guy who turned me upside down. I wasn't pretty enough, thin enough, he wanted to know what it was like to be with someone "thin". I was depressed, he hated my family, demanded I move out, quit my job, get a job. It was never enough. He demanded we go out on expensive dates after I quit my job at his insistence and we split the bill 50-50. I was starting to really control my food because I was too fat for him but he would insist I order meals. I wasn't allowed to order appetizers, salads, small bites, etc. So I was forced to eat food I couldn't afford that made me fat which made him hate me even more. I only ate with him in order to try to lose weight. I started to lose weight but then he started to hurt me. It still haunts me. I finally left when I was 20, transferred to another University and got away from him.
But I didn't deal with my damaged relationship with food. I put on 100 pounds from binging in a year. It was the first time in a long time I was away from his control over food. I went wild, burgers, fries, shakes, everything and anything. I had no idea what it was like to be hungry or full. One day I just stopped for no real reason one day, spent 10 months restricting and exercising and I lost 95 pounds. I maintained for a long time too. It was the most stable my weight has been in the last 10ish years or so.
After about a year I slowly put weight back on, then went into a full-blown binge fest again. Then 6 months of restricting. Over and over and over. It's to the point now that I'm 29 and I really have no idea what I look like because every day I look and I see someone different in the mirror. There's no consistency in my weight. I can lose 70 pounds like *that* because I've done in 4 times already. In the process of it this time...I realize that I've become obsessed with food and totally frightened that I'll grow old and never be thin.
The last two months I've started to really restrict my calories and lost 20 pounds in 6 weeks. I went home for Thanksgiving and my stepdad said "You ARE eating, right?" I think he knows that things are going down with food and me. He was an alcoholic and is really perceptive on addictive behavior. For now I can get away with it because I'm still overweight. I put on size 18 pants and still feel that I am 270 pounds of self-loathing.
Ah yeah. So that's me.
A thing I do
/u/bagelzyumersz
Created: Sat Nov 25 12:15:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fh9xs/a_thing_i_do/
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[removed]
[Intro] Intro: Not sure why I'm back here again...
/u/mrs_sassypants [5'6" | CW 143 | BMI 23.17 | WL 0 | F28]
Created: Sat Nov 25 12:14:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fh9rw/intro_not_sure_why_im_back_here_again/
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Hi Everyone,
I've been lurking for a long time, but after trying to join (and being rejected) from the discord I guess it's time to start posting as well. Basically, I'm not sure why I'm back here.
Due to a lot of reasons I was a fuck up in high school, mostly problems at home. So when I started restricting and dropping pounds a pleasant side effect was a drive to perfect every other area of my life. It was literally a give and take; if I felt perfectly in control of my body then I could control my life. I went from a 2.0 GPA to a 4.0 in High School within two semesters while severe restricting. I wound up going into therapy because I did my ED so well I had heart issues. I was in recovery for 8 years and now I'm restricting again.
Truth is I'm literally not really sure why I'm back again. I've had more stressful points in my life where I could have started restricting, but for some reason I chose now to start again. I think it gives me a method of goal management when I can not eat and reach a weight with minimal effort. But honestly it is mostly disheartening to know that, even though I spent 8 years barely thinking about my weight or eating, I can relapse just like a snap and be right back in the routine.
Sorry, everyone, I'm back again.
Every Bright Eyes song/lyric that can be related to eating disorders
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | 120.3 | 19.4 | 13.4kg | 27.7-]
Created: Sat Nov 25 12:11:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fh93u/every_bright_eyes_songlyric_that_can_be_related/
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If you're a more experienced Bright Eyes fan, please feel free to add more examples in the comments and I'll edit them in :)
If you don't know Bright Eyes, you can appreciate these lyrics for the poetry or some shit idk
**Neely O Hara**
In the morning, when you throw up water
And your skin it turns a pale, pale yellow
Every day you lose more color
Do you think that someone paints your mirror?
**A Line allows for Progress, A Circle does not**
And your parents notice your thinning face
All the weight you've lost
All the weight you're losing
You said "I'm done feeling like a skeleton; no more sleepwalking at day.
You're gonna wake from this coma.
You're gonna crawl from this bed you've made"
**I've been eating(for you)**
But just don't ask about my appetite
I didn't lose it tonight
It's been gone half my life
It's just that I've been eating for you
**Laura Laurent**
Your thoughts have always laid close to mine
We were both skipping supper
But she should never be embarassed by
Your trouble with living
Cause it's the ones with the sorest throats, Laura, who
Have done the most singing
**Lua**
You're looking skinny like a model with your eyes all painted black
You just keep going to the bathroom
Always say you'll be right back
Well, it takes one to know one, kid, I think you've got it bad
**A scale, a mirror and these indifferent clocks**
Here's a scale, weigh it out and you'll find easily more than sufficient
Doubt that these colors that you see
Were picked in advance by some careful hand
With an absolute concept of beauty
**Tourist Trap** thanks u/abysmalresonance
It is not my weight that makes me faint or the sugar in my blood
Its the way these strangers stand so close
They say my name
Like a guessing game
Is that really you?
No, I don't think it ever was
This might be incredibly specific and doesn't really cater to a huge audience, but yo, I got no one else to share it with, so here y'all go.
[Discussion] DAE binge when they're high?
/u/PsychoticPangolin [ SW 150 | CW 110 | GW 90 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 25 12:03:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fh76x/dae_binge_when_theyre_high/
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I ate about a day and a half's worth of food last night (yup, after I had already reached my day's limit), just because I got a case of the munchies. STUPID STUPID STUPID. Ruining all my progress! It doesn't help that I ate way too much at Thanksgiving, either. It's always harder to start counting calories again and stick to my limit when I've been on a cheating path of destruction.
This always happens. I should just not eat at all when I'm high. It lowers my inhibitions (obviously) and my self control is obliterated 😒
[Discussion] DAE Binge when they're high
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 25 11:53:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fh4qh/dae_binge_when_theyre_high/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] When your "competition" starts drinking high-cal, sugary alcoholic beverages every night
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 25 11:51:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fh4be/when_your_competition_starts_drinking_highcal/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fh4be/when_your_competition_starts_drinking_highcal/
[Help] how do you deal with hunger?
/u/moonolive
Created: Sat Nov 25 11:18:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fgwrr/how_do_you_deal_with_hunger/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I ate amd don't feel guilty
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 60.9 kg | BMI: 22.6 | -22.6 kg | 21F]
Created: Sat Nov 25 11:11:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fgv2u/i_ate_amd_dont_feel_guilty/
---
[Rave]
So today I ate 2 meals. I had one small serving tikka masala with rice for lunch and the same for dinner. For once in the last 5 months I don't feel guilty or feel like bawling my eyes out. Well the servings were so small that I'm still under 600 cals and that's probably also reason I feel ok but we're celebrating the small steps right?
So instead of fearing my guilt trip tomorrow I'll just be glad that I'm ok with it today.
I'm always depressed and I know most of you are too so I thought I'd share the few good vibes that I can provide. I hope yall had a good day and if yiu didn'tI hope tomorrow will be better.
[Rant/Rave] dae hate it when you complain about your body and a guy says he prefers that?
/u/lowkeydeadinside [5'6" | cw: 125 | ugw: 98 | 17F | 🍑: starvingprincess]
Created: Sat Nov 25 10:34:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fgmfx/dae_hate_it_when_you_complain_about_your_body_and/
---
like i *don't care* if you like my thick thighs and pudgy tummy. *i* hate them.
i've been seeing this guy and the first time we slept together he was saying he liked my thighs and i said i hate having big thighs and he just said "big thighs are sexy" like maybe to you but not to me.
later we were spooning and his hand was on my stomach and he asked if i minded it there and i jokingly said i didn't as long as he didn't mind my fat and he just told me he doesn't mind because it's sexy.
i *can't stand* when they tell me it's sexy because it's not to me. it's disgusting. to make matters worse he's really skinny. i really really like him but god i hate myself and i don't want to see him till i'm skinny
[Rant/Rave] Everyone says this, but..
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 25 10:33:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fgmdp/everyone_says_this_but/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Bought new jeans for the first time in years earlier this week
/u/couldntfindquiet
Created: Sat Nov 25 09:33:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fg8j6/bought_new_jeans_for_the_first_time_in_years/
---
And they’re already loose. I know I should be annoyed for spending unnecessary money on pants that won’t fit well soon but I’m so happy. I’m a trans dude and when I bind, I look almost small. I want to cry.
[Help] New LW... how did you guys know what to stop?
/u/whatsupbuttercup5 [5'3" | CW 97.2 | BMI 17.2 | GW 92 | HW 126 | 25F]
Created: Sat Nov 25 09:03:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fg1sq/new_lw_how_did_you_guys_know_what_to_stop/
---
Hi lovelies!
So it was a good morning for me. I hit a new LW. Previously I'd never been less than 98.0 and today I weighed in at 97.2.
So it brought me to a dilemma. I have a couple of pounds till my GW. But how did you guys adjust when you got there? I guess I never really pictured in my head that I could get this thin (stupid, I know, it's all about CICO math and time) so now that in a few short weeks I'll have to adjust to maintaining I don't even know what that's going to look like. I just can't imagine not having the satisfaction of losing any more. =[
Guess I'm just looking for some advice.
EDIT: My fitness pal just changed my goals! Like I wouldn't notice. It upped me to 1700 calories and put my weight loss goal as "gain 0.5 pounds per week." Damn app.
Also super not stoked to have to sit through a lecture on EDs on Thursday and feel my friend's eyes boring into me.
[Rant/Rave] I literally can’t believe this shit! I don’t care if my back is broken I’m currently cycling I worked so hard and gained fucking almost 10 lbs in a week I’m gonna fucking die I’m so embarrassed I could feel it in my stomach but I’m shook
/u/kombucha-sutra
Created: Sat Nov 25 08:39:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ffwoe/i_literally_cant_believe_this_shit_i_dont_care_if/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] NO Bacon
/u/OldCrowFreakShow [5'7" | CW: 121 | GW: 107]
Created: Sat Nov 25 08:33:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ffvds/no_bacon/
---
(On mobile, please flair Rant)
Just woke up with a massive hangover after almost ending the day at 800, but must have drank that many calories *at least.* Went to Dunkin Donuts for a coffee and decided, screw it, I'll get an egg and cheese croissant for breakfast. I was looking at some weird sandwich on the menu with maple sauce and bacon so I accidentally said "bacon egg and cheese" and quickly took it back in a panic like NO BACON, PLEASE NO BACON. I don't even like bacon on my egg sandwiches whether I'm being a turd about food or not.
Sat at the window through almost four songs, and they must have felt pretty bad about it because there was a mountain of bacon on my sandwhich. I pulled off all five pieces but ended up eating them anyway, wasn't even worth it in the slightest.
But on the bright side I burnt my tongue on the coffee.
[Discussion] list your safe foods!
/u/angelweight [cbmi 17.5 gbmi 16]
Created: Sat Nov 25 08:22:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ffsux/list_your_safe_foods/
---
here is my ever-shrinking list of safe foods:
lamb
chicken
egg yolks (not sure why my brain sees the whites as 'bad')
tomato sauce (must be low carb)
water
brandy (diluted with water)
dry wine
vitamins
I still eat cheese but get very upset when I do, so I have a feeling that will be off the list soon.
These are literally the only foods I will eat!
(on mobile so can't flair sorry!)
[Rant/Rave] First time EC stack
/u/tinymouse5432
Created: Sat Nov 25 08:12:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ffqs8/first_time_ec_stack/
---
So I've been lurking for a long time here, but I just tried my first EC stack and I've just gotta say how amazing it is. I only had half a bronkaid with my standard ~4 shots of espresso but I feel so excited and awake and I woke up really hungry this morning and now that's gone and it's great. I've been on celexa for about 6 months and it's helped my anxiety a ton but I've had a hard time restricting since then. I'm ready to get back into it now and I'm determined to meet my goals by Christmas! It's gonna happen!!
[Discussion] What is the point of exercise?
/u/gross9876 [-16 lb | nb]
Created: Sat Nov 25 07:32:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ffitb/what_is_the_point_of_exercise/
---
Besides losing calories. Like, if you eat 500 cals a day with no workout or eat 700 cals a day with a workout that burns 200 cals, why would some of you choose the second option?
Before Reddit I use to think spot reducing was a thing, no matter how much people said it wasn't true. Now that I know I can't do anything to decrease the width of my thighs besides consuming calories below my TDEE, exercise seems worthless.
If I don't want to build muscle anywhere on my body and prefer eating low cal to burning calories through cardio, is there any vain/aesthetic benefit to working out?
[Rant/Rave] I feel like I have to get worse because my problems aren't real and it's the worst feeling
/u/clementinecutie1
Created: Sat Nov 25 06:11:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ff44w/i_feel_like_i_have_to_get_worse_because_my/
---
This is going to be so hard to explain. I feel like I'm trying to give myself an eating disorder or something. I just want to cry. I'm such a faker. If I could just restrict consistently and start to actually lose some weight, maybe I'd be able to think that I really have a problem. Because in my head, I have an ed. I'm terrified with gaining weight, obsessed with counting calories and food, and have a goal of being underweight, but the way that I eat doesn't reflect that. I give in always. If I have a craving, I eat. I binge basically everyday. In the last 2 days I've eaten a combined 7000+ calories. If I've already eaten dinner but my family decides to go out or make something, I'll eat again. I feel so disgusting and I hate myself. It's so horrible that I want to get worse, but that's how I feel right now (and most of the time because I fail everyday at restriction). Sorry for the rant.
[Discussion] DAE feel like their ribs are too big?
/u/fimuckmylife
Created: Sat Nov 25 05:55:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ff1dv/dae_feel_like_their_ribs_are_too_big/
---
I know that's phrased weirdly so let me explain what I mean. If you were to suck 100% of the fat out of my body I feel like I would still be too big because my ribs stick out too far. I wish they were "thinner" because I feel like I have a limit on how far I can go to be thin and it's not thin enough.
[Discussion] DAE feel MORE hungry when/after they eat?
/u/TessDevin
Created: Sat Nov 25 05:39:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7feyov/dae_feel_more_hungry_whenafter_they_eat/
---
I often don't feel hungry all day, but then there is an occasion to eat or I foolishly allow myself my portion and it opens the flood gates and I feel like I have to eat everything I can get my hands on.
Work days are *usually* easier, because I skip breakfast, work, have the portion that I brought, and if work is busy enough after about an hour I forget about the ravenous feeling and am ok :)
However, some days, usually Fridays when things are slower in the office I'm not busy enough to be distracted and the *ravenous, insatiable* feeling persists, it just builds and builds. Then I go home and there is food available or I am free to go to the store and get whatever I'm craving, and I eat it, I eat all of it.
Usually I will purge it, but there is all sorts of guilt. I've wasted money and I know I can never get it *all* out.
Anyways... that's my personal experience, does anyone else feel like they're OK until they eat something and then become an insatiable monster?
[Other] It's 4am and I'm waiting for my apple pie to finish baking so I can eat it before I resume restricting for the next month
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Sat Nov 25 05:12:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7feuqj/its_4am_and_im_waiting_for_my_apple_pie_to_finish/
---
I restricted 9 days in a row, and I wanted to keep going through Thanksgiving but I caved in. Food was meh worth it, my family cooked most of it (I did desserts) and I had to make my desserts dairy free since some family members are allergic. Well today I'm cooking up a storm for a Weekend thanksgiving one of my clients is having, and this time the food is oh so worth it. So I extended my break one more day. And I feel kinda shitty about it because I'm worried about not losing enough weight before Christmas vacation.
Anyway, I made myself a mini apple pie (which is possibly my favorite food on the planet) as a goodbye to my break. It's almost done baking. I won't have time to let it cool and rest for a few hours (which makes it better) before I dig in, but hey, it's still gonna be great.
I'm eyeing you, pie.....
It's 4 degrees from being done....
Just wanted to say I love you all. You guys are great and this sub makes me so happy.
I'm so tired. It's 4 am. I had to work late but I could have gone to bed an hour ago if I wasn't waiting for my dessert. I feel like I should be ashamed of myself but I am too tired to care.
Oh sweet heaven it is done. It is so good. And hot as fuck, it kind of hurts. I don't care.
<3
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! November 25, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Nov 25 05:10:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7feuli/stupid_questions_saturday_november_25_2017/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for November 25, 2017.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 25, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Nov 25 05:09:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7feufn/daily_food_diary_november_25_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 25, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] I'm shorter than I thought and now ED brain says I'm in the obese BMI
/u/itscirclejerky [5'6 | CW: repulsive| 20ish ? | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 25 04:20:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7feng2/im_shorter_than_i_thought_and_now_ed_brain_says/
---
I used a height chart-thing yesterday (where you stand and adjust the paddle to your head height) and I'm 6cm shorter than I thought.
You know what that means? My UGW is 2 points higher and an 18 BMI, my lw isn't 'just under' 20 BMI, it's 'just under' 22 and my hw is practically in the overweight category.
At my 'new' BMI, I'm higher than my hw at my 'old height'. This is genuinely stressful comparing my new height to my old height since it's like an old me vs. the new me even though I know nothing has changed.
[Rant/Rave] Binging and my general anxious self
/u/aliceintheair
Created: Sat Nov 25 03:46:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7feisn/binging_and_my_general_anxious_self/
---
I want to cry, I am visiting my mum for the weekend and I just cant stop eating and the more I eat the more anxious I feel and the more anxious I feel the more I eat. I’ve managed to stop now but only because I’m distracting myself a lot.
My mum kept making comments about how thin I’ve gotten and asked me lots of questions about what I’m eating which makes me feel so uncomfortable.
I’m not close with many people besides my partner and he doesn’t realise the extent of my eating habits...so no one else has bothered me about how I eat or how much I exercise before.
I’m planning on moving in with my partner before Christmas and I’m so anxious about the fact that he will notice I don’t eat....and when he does I don’t know how he will react.
But right now I just feel bloated, anxious and can’t weigh myself or purge because I’ll be heard, and once again I feel like I’ve ruined a family event, it’s slowly starting to feel like I’m more of a burden than anything else.
[Discussion] Thoughts on 'sexual anorexia'?
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [170| 54| 18.6|f]
Created: Sat Nov 25 03:29:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fegkl/thoughts_on_sexual_anorexia/
---
https://slaafws.org/anorexia-questionaire
[Rant/Rave] Even the best laid plans go wrong
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | CW 156.3 | 25.33 | -4.8 | GW 128 | 22F]
Created: Sat Nov 25 01:38:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fe1t4/even_the_best_laid_plans_go_wrong/
---
So the idea was to go to the city, take language lessons, take a bus to an English book shop, then go back home. But the rain is really bad and public transport will probably be clogged up until 8pm. So I’m here with 2.5hrs to burn, completely soaked through (no umbrella cause dumbass), waiting on my phone. Bright side is I’ve only had 170 calories and won’t be eating until I get home around 10pm. So that’s the bright side.
[Other] Anyone wanna be kik friends
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 25 00:32:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fdsba/anyone_wanna_be_kik_friends/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fdsba/anyone_wanna_be_kik_friends/
[Rant/Rave] Fuck. Why today.
/u/RatchetButtons [5ft9 | CW:68.9kg | 22.50 | GW:60kg | F]
Created: Sat Nov 25 00:30:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fds41/fuck_why_today/
---
So I'm going out with this dude I've had a crush on for ages (I'm 27 so crushes are VERY rare for me lol). I woke up and looked in the mirror and looked ok, not great but better than most days. Went to the shops to get something to wear as everything I own is either too big or too little. Went to try on a pair of jeans and BOOM this fat tub of lard is staring back at me in the mirror, every changing room was the same. I look huge and I can't cancel with him. I want to crawl into hole.
Why the fuck did I think this is a good idea. I should have waited until I was close or at GW to go out with someone.
Fuck fuck fuckity fuck you brain. I want to carve the fat off me.
[Rant/Rave] Maybe if I was thinner someone would want me for something other than sex
/u/SvelteDreams [5'5" | CW 121.4lbs | GW 103lbs | 21F]
Created: Fri Nov 24 23:55:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fdmq8/maybe_if_i_was_thinner_someone_would_want_me_for/
---
it doesn't even make sense. i want to be thinner to be prettier, and i think if i was prettier than maybe someone could actually love me. maybe if i just didn't exist then i wouldn't have to deal with this.
i got fat and felt gross and disgusting but people still were good just using me for sex. im at a reasonable weight now, and losing, and people still just want to fuck me. its like im not good enough for anything else. and on a logical level i know that my weight doesn't affect how much people love me but god my brain cannot compute that. I think it's a coping mechanism-- if i blame not being loveable on my weight then at least i can do something about that.
i don't know what im saying, im just hurting. at least its keeping me from eating. hope everyone in this sub is doing well. you guys are all so fucking awesome and supportive. this is a fantastic subreddit.
[Rant/Rave] Funny/Depressing Story
/u/fog-bone [5'2" |CW 156 | BMI 28.6|UGW 105| -13 | Female]
Created: Fri Nov 24 23:44:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fdl2t/funnydepressing_story/
---
So an old friend from high school (I'm like 20 so yknow not that old lol) messaged me and we were just chatting about life and whatnot (sidenote I'm married and he came to my wedding lol). And then suddenly he started saying stuff about my stomach and how he liked girls who are a little chubby and longggg story short I received a 500+ word essay about my stomach in which he kept referring to my stomach as a "she" or "her" .
200% the strangest weirdest experience in flirting I have ever had and also I want to die now because I'm a "chubby" girl lol greaaaaat.
If anyone wants to comment a similar experience or just about weirdo guys messaging them I'm really up for making fun of creepy men rn.
[Intro] i miss how i used to look
/u/thinsane
Created: Fri Nov 24 23:37:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fdjza/i_miss_how_i_used_to_look/
---
my disordered eating really started back when i was 15 and started high school. my parents found my ana twitter when i was 17 and put me in therapy etc. at 18 i moved out for college and started restricting and purging again, but over the last 2 years got consumed by school work and gained about 10 lbs. went on and off diets whenever my height would get too high but i honestly just let myself go. i’ve avoided mirrors and scrutiny in my appearance because i knew i’d be disappointed.
luckily been pretty stagnant this past year, hovered between 100 and 105 lbs. haven’t weighed myself since wednesday morning since i’ve been sleeping over at my boyfriend’s house since then, but... finally took a look at myself in the mirror and realized how fat i look compared to how happier i was with my body in the mid-90s. never got to my ugw of 88 but developed ketoacidosis a couple of times from malnutrition so i’m not sure if i’ll ever be able to.
so, i’m back. tldr used to be super big in the twitter ana community but giving reddit a try now. x
[Help] Binge cycle
/u/throwaway638291737
Created: Fri Nov 24 22:37:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fd9st/binge_cycle/
---
For about a month now, I've been stuck in a binge cycle. It started the day after Stranger Things 2 released, actually, because that's what I spent my day doing: eating and watching Stranger Things.
The reason I broke and ate so much that day is because I had done a 48 hour fast and felt like shit. I was so weak and sick and shaky. I was scared. So I ate as much as possible to gain strength back. Looking back, wasn't a great idea, but whatever. It's done now.
Except it's kind of not. Because I can't stop fucking binging. And I've gained 6 pounds since then.
Every time I get done binging I think "okay I really need to stop, back to restricting" and then I just don't stop. I think part of the problem is that I eat so many carbs and I've stretched my stomach. So I'm going to try my best to fix those.
Anyone have any ideas on how to get out of the binge cycle and avoid cravings?
[Discussion] Why isn't there an AN subreddit?
/u/New-Dart [BMI 17.8 | 174cm | F]
Created: Fri Nov 24 22:29:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fd8cp/why_isnt_there_an_an_subreddit/
---
Just wondering, because I saw that there are ones for other EDs but not anorexia nervosa
[Rant/Rave] New Job and Weekend Worries
/u/WeighingDown [5'2" | 108 | 20.46 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 24 22:13:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fd5gf/new_job_and_weekend_worries/
---
I got a job working BOH at a place and it's so fucking stressful and I have to taste test the oily food. I haven't been able to keep a job in so long because of mental health and trauma issues but this stress is unbearable.
PLUS I need to go to my boyfriend's parents' place for a dinner so that's a bunch of unknown calories and stress and ridiculous amounts of food. My plan was to fast until then but then today I went and ate 1050 cals instead and I'm just so tired of everything I want to die.
[Discussion] Does anyone else sniff food?
/u/bearantenna8611
Created: Fri Nov 24 22:02:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fd3fo/does_anyone_else_sniff_food/
---
Ok, so I don’t know a better way to describe this except I basically huff peanut butter sometimes. I used to do it a lot more than I do now, but I would often open my jar of peanut butter and take long deep drags from it. It used to save me from a lot of potential binges at times. Why did I ever stop doing this?! I should pick up this habit again.
Today I partook in Bath And Body Works’s Black Friday sale and got a shit ton of wallflower refills. The holiday scents are out now. They have this scent called “hot cocoa and cream”. It is a godsend. It literally smells like if you were to open a pack of instant hot chocolate mix and stick your face in it and breathe. It is glorious. Every time I walk into my bedroom I have to stop and inhale deeply. So good.
If anyone needs me I’ll be huffing wallflowers and peanut butter during the entire month of December.
[Help] Just a quick question
/u/YourNow
Created: Fri Nov 24 21:28:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fcx7h/just_a_quick_question/
---
[removed]
[Help] Exercises you can do standing up?
/u/KissMySlitWrist [Moo]
Created: Fri Nov 24 21:25:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fcwq7/exercises_you_can_do_standing_up/
---
Right now I
* Walk in place or run in place for 6k steps (working my way up to 10k eventually)
* Work on touching my toes
* Jumping jack (when I have the space)
It's kinda boring though always doing the same stuff.
"I bought chips but I know you won't eat them..."
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 24 21:24:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fcwjr/i_bought_chips_but_i_know_you_wont_eat_them/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] why do people have to care
/u/okayls [5'4 |hw: 240 | ugw: 95 |20NB/F]
Created: Fri Nov 24 21:04:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fcstl/why_do_people_have_to_care/
---
this is a lot of ranting and feeling bad but if you have time to say stuff that'd be nice.
---
my best friend is a few years older than me and we're generally just really similar people.
she struggled with an ED a few years ago and i'm... just finally being able to call it an ED. i don't know if i want to give it up but it makes her so sad/scared/upset/etc. that i hate myself this much. like i do need to lose weight, i think, but it's not healthy the way i keep trying to do it and it's not healthy combined with everything else wrong with me.
but like the texts she sends me and the conversations we have hurts my heart so much. like "I really need you to take care of yourself. You are my best friend and I need you to last forever." like, i know i need to take care of myself and i know this isn't it but
goddamn. i can't do any of this anymore.
[Other] Pic thread! (though pics are optional...) What's in your fridge?!
/u/dbt-girl
Created: Fri Nov 24 19:35:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fcbyh/pic_thread_though_pics_are_optional_whats_in_your/
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https://i.redd.it/weq48ky0a1001.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Body dysmorphia or thanksgiving ? An ED saga.
/u/miracleunicat [5'6 | CW: 110 | GW: 85]
Created: Fri Nov 24 19:29:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fcan6/body_dysmorphia_or_thanksgiving_an_ed_saga/
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I was trying on dresses today for a school dance, and I felt like they all made me look super fat. Like made my waist look HUGE. UsuallyI would chalk it up to my body dysmorphia because I only gained like .2 lbs over thanksgiving, but because it was thanksgiving I feel like it might be real. My mom said that I looked good, but honestly she says that no matter what. I'm so sick of not really knowing what I look like. I honestly hate my ed and now I have to go eat dinner and I just can't do it. My mind keeps going back to how I looked and I feel so disgusting. All I have to say is FUCK THIS SHIT.
[Help] URGENT: how to prevent fainting
/u/gross9876 [-16 lb | nb]
Created: Fri Nov 24 18:41:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fc1fg/urgent_how_to_prevent_fainting/
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I feel that I will faint. I've been drinking cold water like the r/fasting FAQ suggests.
I don't have Gatorade/Powerade or glucose tablets or life savers. **What should I do?**
OPTIONAL READING BELOW:
Here's all my food: bread, spinach, peanut butter, raw cashews, raw almonds, unsweetened almond milk, hummus, hash browns, tater tots, fried plantains, plain salt, plain white sugar, speculoos cookie butter.
Which of the above would help my light headed-ness? I read a post here that said to eat a lot of salt, then another post that said to avoid salt, etc. so I can't tell what to do.
Thanks if you read all of this!
[Help] Broken scales & anxiety
/u/bonitahermosura
Created: Fri Nov 24 18:20:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fbx93/broken_scales_anxiety/
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Hi everyone! This is my first post on this sub so I’m really sorry if this is a little weird (or breaking rules pls let me know if it is!). Basically the scales at my house are all not working properly and I’m freaking out because I feel like I’m gaining so much weight when I know I probably am not. But I can’t stop obsessing over it every minute of every day and it’s driving me crazy!! I just wish I could get my hands on a fully functional scale so know exactly how much I weigh and could stop worrying about it. I don’t know what type of advice I’m looking for. I don’t know if I want advice on helping with the anxiety or just the whole scale situation but I’m honestly looking for absolutely anything right now.
[Tip] 7 day fast starting tomorrow! Any tips/tricks/joiners very welcome <3
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 24 18:08:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fbusl/7_day_fast_starting_tomorrow_any/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fbusl/7_day_fast_starting_tomorrow_any/
[Goal] 48 Hour Fast
/u/fuckingilluminated
Created: Fri Nov 24 17:55:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fbs4e/48_hour_fast/
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Going on a 48 hour fast starting now. My friends are starting a challenge to see who can lose the most weight by the end of the year. So far, it's my girlfriend and my best friend, who I live with. And my best friends sister. My two other roommates might join in. I was already planning on losing weight anyways, now I have extra motivation. I think it's going to be fun. I wanna lose the most weight! I can't exercise well, my spine is so fucked up, but I can restrict and fast like no other! Is it sad I'm actually excited? Like, I'm pretty much on bed rest, I don't work and I barely leave the house. I'm usually laying down, because my whole back and right leg hurt and go numb when I sit up. But now I actually have something to do. I am so bored and I eat out of boredom. Now there is more reward, it is just pumping me up. Cause I feel like I have this. I feel like I might win something good for once.
[Rant/Rave] i feel like i'm in a horror movie
/u/kittencow
Created: Fri Nov 24 17:47:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fbqjo/i_feel_like_im_in_a_horror_movie/
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this isn't my body, this can't be my body. who looks like this? it can't be possible to look this disgusting can it?
i've been staring at my legs & thighs the past hour, in shock at how the fat *hangs* off them. it doesn't just sit, it barely looks like it's connected to the muscle and bone. i think my overstretched skin is the only thing keeping the fat where it would be on a normal person. it's not working though, my legs and thighs barely look human, and i'm trying not to panic.
this isn't my body. my body was what i looked like when i was 90lbs. it's like a walking fucking nightmare every day i have to exist like this.
[Rant/Rave] Spiraled out of control...again....
/u/foreverthefatgirl [5'11 | CW: FAT | -20 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Nov 24 17:41:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fbp1y/spiraled_out_of_controlagain/
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[removed]
[Other] Do you struggle with binge eating and/or purging and wish there was a support group to help you get through the hard times/urges??? Well ive got the sub for you [Other]
/u/yaboyspissed [5'7" | M19 | b/p mess]
Created: Fri Nov 24 17:30:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fbmx1/do_you_struggle_with_binge_eating_andor_purging/
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Welcome to [Binge Eating Watch](reddit.com/r/bew) !!!! This community is basically like suicide watch but for when you feel you're in danger of bping. Post about your frustrations at urges and help talk down others to a rational state of mind and reduce the chances of all of us destroying our minds and bodies :). Hope to see yall there soon 💗💗💗💗💕💔💖💓💞💗💕💔💕💗💖💗💖💗💖💗
[Rant/Rave] pissed off that I'm losing weight
/u/allevana
Created: Fri Nov 24 17:19:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fbkee/pissed_off_that_im_losing_weight/
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I'm going through a really fucking painful breakup right now. It's better than it was a few months ago but I bring myself to tears just thinking about the circumstances surrounding it (I don't want to put them out in the public domain, but feel free to PM me if you're curious about it).
I promised this ex that I'd get better. That I'd stop puking down my shower drain. No more laxatives. No more restricting till I fainted. No more exercising at 3am 'just because'.
And now I'm doing it again. And it feels so fucking good. None of my shorts fit around the waist. NONE of my 12 or so pairs. I fucking LOVE THIS SO MUCH. It's like a big fuck you to the guy that doesn't love me enough to want me back (despite him still having feelings for me??)
And at the same time it makes me ache. I'm destroying one of the best things this relationship brought me, physical and mental health? I only engaged in bulimic behaviour about 12 times over the course of the 8 mo we were together as opposed to 3 times a DAY before we started dating. I feel like I'm betraying him, and throwing away all the good he's done for me.
Just needed to get that off my chest.
[Discussion] Whats the grosest thing you have done while purging?
/u/beatrizpardo
Created: Fri Nov 24 16:51:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fbeai/whats_the_grosest_thing_you_have_done_while/
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I feel that no one is as disgusting as me
[Discussion] Does anyone get terrible heart burn while working out agter b/p? or is it just me?
/u/beatrizpardo
Created: Fri Nov 24 16:50:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fbe5o/does_anyone_get_terrible_heart_burn_while_working/
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[Help] Does anyone have tips on losing weight brought on due to depression?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 24 16:32:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fbacb/does_anyone_have_tips_on_losing_weight_brought_on/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Kinda wish I had a home gym!
/u/Ironicbanana14
Created: Fri Nov 24 16:17:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fb6zx/kinda_wish_i_had_a_home_gym/
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It would be nice to have a treadmill and an elliptical or something like that in the comfort of my own home. I don't like to walk/run outside or anywhere in a public place because I feel like people stare at me or they'll feel grossed out. Plus on nights when I can't sleep I can just walk until im ready to either die or actually do something useful. I'm considering asking my mom for one for Christmas but then again im like will I even use it? I feel like I might use it for like a month and just get lazy. Lol. It would just help me not think about cravings and stuff.
[Rant/Rave] My thought patterns are messed up, yo.
/u/IdPopACapinSancho
Created: Fri Nov 24 16:10:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fb5kw/my_thought_patterns_are_messed_up_yo/
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I recently found out a friend of mine has been having severe anxiety issues, which led her to start restricting. She lost 12kg over the past 3 months.
Of course she is struggling, and clearly sick but you know what my first thought was?
"Damn, I wish I had that sort of self control"
I was jealous! Jealous that my friend had lost weight even though she is mentally unwell.
To me it demonstrated that I'm just not trying hard enough, and clearly I'm defective because I haven't lost that much weight yet.
What the heck is wrong with me? How could I think that?
Sigh. Just had to get that off my chest.
[Rant/Rave] Getting my nails done and all of the nail techs are so petite and gorgeous. just ugh
/u/veganbutter99 [5'1" | CW 133lbs I GW 120lbs I HW 190lbs]
Created: Fri Nov 24 15:18:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fatsy/getting_my_nails_done_and_all_of_the_nail_techs/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I don't want to grow up.
/u/whatisthisshow2002 [5'2.5" | CW: 🐳 45.8kg 🐳 | GW: 40 kg | UGW: Just wanna be loved]
Created: Fri Nov 24 14:54:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7faob4/i_dont_want_to_grow_up/
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I'm 15, 101 lbs, 5'2.5. It's not skinny by any means, I know, but I hate the way I still have B cup boobs and thick thighs and a massive stomach and wide hips. I don't want to be a woman. I want to be a little girl forever and I want my parents to give me piggyback rides and tell me stories forever. I just want to cut my boobs off and regress to a point where I'm a skinny little kid and not some kind of monster.
Sorry for the rant.
[Discussion] What really weird stuff do you link to your size?
/u/PersephoneHazard [HW -53.8 | GW +46.2 | 🍑 PersephoneHazard]
Created: Fri Nov 24 14:26:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fahta/what_really_weird_stuff_do_you_link_to_your_size/
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Conversation I had with my bf earlier:
> "I'm going to Asda; need anything?"
> [blah blah stuff including both butter and olive oil]
> "Hang on, I have to go put my face on."
> "Why?"
> "I'm too fat to buy both oil *and* butter with no makeup on."
> "...fuck's sake, babe."
In hindsight of course I'm laughing at how absurd this is ;-) It's not just me, though, right? What weird shit like this gets you?
[Rant/Rave] Who else here is fasting as punishment because they went HAM at Thanksgiving yesterday??? 🙋♀️
/u/ParanoidPancreas [5'11" | CW 156 | -17 | UGW 138]
Created: Fri Nov 24 13:37:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7fa6g9/who_else_here_is_fasting_as_punishment_because/
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I hit a new low weight yesterday morning and then fucked it all up! *cries* I just couldn't resist the desserts....
[Rant/Rave] Possibly the best day ever??
/u/mintslut [4'11 | CW: 115.4 | UGW: 84 | -8.2lbs | F]
Created: Fri Nov 24 12:25:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f9p84/possibly_the_best_day_ever/
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So, today, my parents and I woke up really early to go Black Friday shopping in the States. My parents got a ton of stuff, but I stuck to some small items that caught my eye that weren't too expensive (an ugly Christmas sweater!!! a coffee maker, stuff like that). My GREATEST find, though, was Halo Top. I'd checked on the store's website and it didn't say that they sold them there, but they did!!!
I got five pints of Halo Top, all 240-280 calories. I got 2 x Mint Chip, Vanilla Bean, Chocolate, and Oatmeal Cookie. I would've gotten Red Velvet too if it was under 300, but alas. I'm so excited!! I have no one to share my excitement with but you guys lmao
Anyway, I had a really good time, since it was just me and my parents. My dad and I don't really talk much, so it was fun to hang out in a setting that encourages conversation other than school and work.
We got back into Canada around noon and my parents were feeling hungry so they had some lunch while I walked around the mall looking at the stuff that was on sale. I got nearly 8k steps in just from shopping! And I didn't eat any junk food :) When I got home, I made a 185 calorie chocolate-banana smoothie that filled me up. I'm usually terrified of bananas (the carbs! THE HORROR!!!), but I felt so good today that I didn't even mind.
For the next four or so hours, I'm gonna play a game (Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain) and then hang out with my boyfriend. And y'all best believe imma have an entire pint of Halo Top for dinner (I'm stuck between Vanilla Bean and Mint Chip, what d'you guys think?) - and I'm still gonna come in under my limit of 427 calories 😏😏😏😏
I hope your guys' Black Friday went just as well :)
[Rant/Rave] A long rant.
/u/featherboyy [5'7.5 | 218 | -17| M]
Created: Fri Nov 24 12:24:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f9p1p/a_long_rant/
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I'm in a pretty shitty situation. My mom almost kicked me out about a month ago because I'm trans and my BED completely flipped into restriction mode. I've lost about 15 pounds in 3 weeks. This is concerning to me because even though I've always hated being fat; I'd never do this to myself.
So yesterday was thanksgiving and I decided to tell a friend about my restriction habits (Anywhere from 400 to 1000 a day). He took it really negatively and basically scolded me for doing this to myself. So now I feel guilty for having this problem, and I just don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt my body but I'm so sick of not having control in my life and I'm so tired of being fat. I can't bring myself to eat a healthy amount but now im scared of dying or ending up in a mental hospital. I can't even see my therapist because money is dry.
Does anyone have some sort of advice or comfort? I just feel like I'm already too deep but not deep enough to recover. I'm still obese and life still sucks.
[Help] Help me make a grocery list?
/u/ProbablySleptWith [5'6 | CW 157 lbs | GW 110 lbs | 21F]
Created: Fri Nov 24 12:15:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f9mqs/help_me_make_a_grocery_list/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Took pictures, saw pictures, kill me plz
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 24 12:10:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f9lke/took_pictures_saw_pictures_kill_me_plz/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f9lke/took_pictures_saw_pictures_kill_me_plz/
[Tip] *Friendly reminder that other's success doesn't = your failure*
/u/deadlylikesugar
Created: Fri Nov 24 12:06:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f9kpe/friendly_reminder_that_others_success_doesnt_your/
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I'm seeing a lot of victory posts about avoiding binges which is **SO** awesome and I'm **SO** proud of y'all!
But, I just wanted to send out a loving message to those of you who came up short of your goals, and let you know that I am **SO** proud of you, too! You're still here and keepin' on, and that's a truly *amazing* accomplishment in itself. It's so important to remember that everyone has their good and bad days, and if yesterday wasn't your day, *that's okay*! Keep your chin up, smile, and know and today is a new day and that there's always the potential for each new day to be YOUR good day! 💕
(Not trying to sound like a cheesy greeting card here, haha. I genuinely mean it!)
I want *everyone* who reads this to take care of themselves today. \*warm hugs to all of you lovelies\* ❤️
[Thinspo] Accidental holiday thinspo
/u/leontevskaya
Created: Fri Nov 24 11:33:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f9cq4/accidental_holiday_thinspo/
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Waiting for lunch and browsing the online sales, see For Love and Lemons is having 25% off, click. No longer waiting for lunch. You'll see me in the corner nibbling on lettuce and sneaking cigarettes. Kind of grateful for it, since our Thanksgiving dinner is tonight, and there is no way I am going to binge now.
[Tip] Splitting food when going out to eat is the way to go!
/u/autotrapqueen [5'7.5| CW 131.8 | 20.19 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 24 10:44:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f90rz/splitting_food_when_going_out_to_eat_is_the_way/
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My family goes away for thanksgiving and we go out to eat for pretty much every meal. This time though I've been splitting food with my family and it's been working really well for me! One dinner my grandma and I split a mushroom flatbread (im vegan so she got the cheese on the side!), the next my aunt and I split a salad and a black bean burger and we're going to split something for lunch today too.
I let them have the plate it comes on and take a smaller plate and fill it up so it ends up being less than half, plus there's not a bunch of leftovers for people to comment on after, or wasted food or pressure to eat the whole thing.
This may be a bit obvious haha but I never really thought of it until this trip and it's been helpful for me! Hope everyone that celebrated had a minimally stressful holiday <3
[Discussion] Contouring?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 24 10:34:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f8yeh/contouring/
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I know that contouring can make your face look thinner, but does anyone contour their collarbones/chestbones to give them a more defined look for events or photos? Would that work?
[Rant/Rave] Thanksgiving didn’t win this year!
/u/bitsybones [5'2 | -140 | 25.6 | 137 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 24 10:16:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f8u5i/thanksgiving_didnt_win_this_year/
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It pretty much goes without saying that Thanksgiving is a huge binge-fest for me every god damn year. This year was different! I fasted all the way until dinner at 6 o’clock and at dinner I chugged a bunch of water put a few small spoonfuls of mashed potatoes and a few bites of tofurkey on my plate and vowed to only eat that. I ended up only eating half of what I put on my plate because the water filled me up so much. I was still uncomfortably full, but I didn’t feel too guilty because I didn’t consume more than 300 calories. I’m so happy! The scale was down this morning, too. ☺️
[Rant/Rave] HOW EVEN
/u/UnderseaK [5'7 | cw: 150lbs | gw: 110lbs | -97lb]
Created: Fri Nov 24 10:14:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f8tmv/how_even/
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Oh my god, I am freaking out! I ate waaaaaayyy too much yesterday, and even though I burned off almost half of it with a butt-ton of cardio, I still woke up FIVE FUCKING POUNDS heavier! Period cravings over thanksgiving are the devil.
I am now fighting the urge to self harm (I've been clean from cutting for three years), and I wish more than anything I had been able to purge last night. If I didn't have a really important meeting with my kid's therapist today, I'd probably be completely non-functional.
It's probably not real weight, right? I fasted the day before thanksgiving, but for fucks sake, I didn't think I ate THAT much!
[Other] No matter how much you ate yesterday, you still need to eat today
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 24 09:10:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f8e3m/no_matter_how_much_you_ate_yesterday_you_still/
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https://instagram.com/p/Bb4kJa3BtTH/
[Rant/Rave] Huge, huge, HUGE!!! Achievement for me yesterday
/u/fatandignored
Created: Fri Nov 24 08:43:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f88dj/huge_huge_huge_achievement_for_me_yesterday/
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I usually eat so, so much on Thanksgiving. We usually buy lots of fried chicken and sides but God was on my side when they decided to order Korean Fried Chicken!! I really don’t like the sauce with it so I only had like three spoonfuls of mashed potatos and half a chicken leg. That’s all I had the whole day!
I’m honestly so proud of myself because my self control was so horrible last year. This week was so depressing because of some shit with my boyfriend but it made me stay in bed all day and I lost 5 pounds:) Hopefully I can keep this going.
Hope you guys all have a good Black Friday!
[Goal] Self control win!
/u/Dumbledickhead [5'5 | CW 119 lbs | GW 90 lbs]
Created: Fri Nov 24 07:06:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f7o49/self_control_win/
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Soooo last night I outdid myself. I stayed under 800 calories for the day for the first time in weeks, and I bought my favorite crisps. The walkers sensations wasabi and ginger. Usually ill eat a whole 150g bag in one go. But last night I worked out if I only ate a third a day, I could stay under my limit. I ate a third, wrapped the packet up and actually didn't eat them all! I also went to the gym at 8 am before work today, which is a first for me. I feel high on my own pride. If I carry on, I'll hit my GW in a matter of weeks!!
[Rant/Rave] I MUST be fat
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 24 06:59:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f7ml2/i_must_be_fat/
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[deleted]
[Other] Holiday Haiku
/u/eatdrinksmokegreen [5'4" | 113 lbs | 19.4 | -57 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Nov 24 06:51:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f7l99/holiday_haiku/
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Here's a little haiku that came to mind while purging my guts out during my uncle's super elegant Thanksgiving dinner. I have no self-control and the holidays are really getting to me this year.
Beautiful bathroom
Carbonation in a glass
Face in the toilet
[Help] No food left behind
/u/thedarkleopard
Created: Fri Nov 24 06:01:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f7c61/no_food_left_behind/
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I can't waste food... my parents have always always told me to clean my plate of food during meals and now it's ingrained into me. I always feel terrible because if I don't finish the last bit of anything, be it the last crumbs in a chip bag the last spoonful scraped from that bowl of oatmeal or those literal drops of almond milk in the carton, I think of people who would be grateful to eat it, how I'm throwing away part of my money, how it'll wastefully rot in a landfill, all in my mom's voice.
How do I stop feeling this way? Should I?
[Discussion] Does anyone ever use those BMI visualizers?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 24 05:49:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f7a1z/does_anyone_ever_use_those_bmi_visualizers/
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[deleted]
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! November 24, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Nov 24 05:12:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f73xq/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for November 24, 2017.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 24, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Nov 24 05:12:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f73xe/daily_food_diary_november_24_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 24, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] I'm back!!
/u/coconutfi [5'9" | CW: 128 | GW: 116 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 24 04:43:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f6z33/im_back/
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And excited. The past few months have been shit. It's the most I've ever let myself go. I did have a few weeks of restriction scattered here and there, but it was nothing to compensate the insane amount of food I'd been eating the rest of the time. My flair is definitely wrong. I need to go weigh myself at the gym, but I'm so scared I'm at 140 which would be my highest weight ever.
Something about New Years inspires me to be tiny. I don't know how the hell I'm going to accomplish that this year considering that, if I am actually 140, I would need to lose 20+ pounds in basically a month lmao. Regardless, I'm going to pretend it's possible and work my ass off to get there. Worst case, I've made a ton of progress and now am at a point where the last few pounds to shed are within reach. Today was the last day of my first week restricting and I should be down almost a pound according to my deficit!! (Should have been more but I slipped up one day) Not to mention pounds of water weight since I'm doing keto.
Just saying hello, hopefully holding myself accountable, and letting you know that I will most likely be binge reading every post on this subreddit for the next month. I will update when I finally have the courage to weigh myself..
[Rant/Rave] Not knowing how to feel
/u/jiunnie
Created: Fri Nov 24 04:39:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f6yl7/not_knowing_how_to_feel/
---
I don’t think that I’m anorexic or anything but I feel like my relationship with food has definitely changed as compared to earlier this year. I did lose some weight under stress when I was in school and then I started restricting but not strictly. I am nowhere near skinny but sometimes my mind tells me to “treat” myself which leads to uncontrollable binges to the point where I feel like my chest is tight and I’m guessing from overeating in one sitting. And then I would feel bad cause I’m supposed to be on a low carb diet and sticking to xxx calories. I would cry from guilt and frustration and for the past week I’ve been shoving myself with crappy processed foods like cereal, sweets and instant oatmeal and I feel like I’m in a slump. Previously I could restrict, binge a little and go back to restricting and repeat the cycle but this time I feel like I would never stop binging. I see myself improving but I’m afraid that I will start to put on weight bc fat is a sneaky thing. And I would comfort myself by lying that I would work out excessively after these binges but I never do lol and I don’t know how to purge so all the calories that go in, stay there.
When I still had school, (I’m not American so we are having a break now) I could lie that I would eat in school and whatnot but now I’m at home all day and like the sugar loaded box of cornflakes is just staring right at me. I thought that if I finished it, I wouldn’t have to look at it anymore and so I did and then my mom bought an even bigger box like wtf.
I hate anyone who offers me food because I feel like they think I’m fat and I also hate it when people cook for me no matter what it is even if it’s steamed veggies because 1) I don’t know the calories in that shit and 2) I would rather not have such temptation to eat and I feel like even if I were to feel guilty for any food I eat, I want it to be my conscious decision. But all this just reflects that I have a lack of willpower, being unable to say no to food.
My mom, out of concern, also asks me if I have taken dinner/lunch when she gets back from work which frustrates me. It makes me guilty about anything I eat after like 2pm or some shit. And also, I don’t believe in like eating 3 meals a day bc intermittent fasting seems way healthier.
Though I was never overweight, I have lost around 6kg so far and I used to overeat and eat all the high carb shit cause hclf vegan right? Thanks to all the freelee brainwashing so I feel like my weight loss is justified but over this short span of time, my relationship with food has been completely altered and it’s like everyday it’s just food food food I’m thinking about unless I’m working. Oh and I never know how to respond to people who say that I have lost weight. Just the other day my cousins were talking about how I’m on a diet yadda yadda and my uncle told me to “not get blown away by the wind” though I’m not even anywhere near skinny. That one comment could have blown into a binge and I’m just very sensitive to any comment about my diet or food around me. I hate it when people make loud chewing noises bc it sounds like food taunting me but I still watch noisy ass mukbangs of people eating noodles and shit when I’m hungry and can’t eat. And my dad who is trying to lose weight always asks me what my weight is when he sees me checking my weight on the scale and on days where I’m like “ok I will just treat myself to bread” and (not really a binge) but eat more than I need to, he goes like “bread’s fattening” and then I see him snacking on bread late at night. I feel like he thinks it’s a competition between us on who is going to reach our weight goal first (and I probably wouldn’t ever be able to) and it’s just annoying. I also have been taking laxatives (just started recently) and I’m sure it’s just water weight that I’m losing but I reAched my lowest weight this morning and looking into the mirror, I saw a body I couldn’t recognize and it didn’t feel good, not in the I could have been skinnier way but it’s like just a little scary to see myself like that.
Everything’s a mush and I’m infested with conflicted feelings. Would love to talk to anyone on here. I’m very new to this so pardon me if I’m doing the layout all wrong or something.
UGH
[Other] Any other vegans here?
/u/bunnyfoodisdelicious [5'4" | I can't | F]
Created: Fri Nov 24 03:21:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f6mlt/any_other_vegans_here/
---
I went vegan about six months ago, and it makes eating a bit so much easier.
[Other] Why does this happen
/u/little-paws
Created: Fri Nov 24 02:44:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f6goc/why_does_this_happen/
---
When I weigh myself and my weight is up, I instantly go into panic mode and feel awful about myself.
When I weigh myself and my weight is down, I start thinking about if my scale is accurate, when was the last time I changed the battery, is the scale wrong.
Why do I trust the scale when it says I weigh more, and not trust it when it says I weigh less? Why am I like this
[Help] Binge, purge, lax. Wake up same weight, cry because 'you can't lose weight'. Repeat.
/u/yesyeshihello [157cm | BMI: 17.4 | 27F]
Created: Fri Nov 24 02:25:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f6dp6/binge_purge_lax_wake_up_same_weight_cry_because/
---
Try caffeine pills. Abuse caffeine pills. See no change.
Try lax. Abuse lax. See no change.
Restrict one day, two days, three days. See no change. Cry, binge, purge, lax, sleep, same weight, repeat.
Fast 22h a day one day, two days, three days. See no change. Cry, binge, purge, lax, sleep, same weight, repeat.
Think about suicide, every single morning, more and more seriously every day. Make plans to kill yourself, write a suicide note, but maybe give it one more shot first: plan "meals", one day, two days, three days, cry, eat entire Lenny & Larry's Complete Cookie for breakfast, pack bag for work full of binge food, binge, purge, lax, repeat.
I can't go on this way much longer. I wake up every day and cry like I have no idea why this is happening to me, like I don't know how I'm fucking myself up every single day.
But it doesn't make sense in my head how I lost and lost without a problem for *months*, down to where I am, with no hiccups. And now here I am, entering the third month holding the same weight and I just can't go on like this anymore.
I can't live like this forever.
I don't think I'll be around much longer.
[Discussion] In your personal experience, has CICO projected your weight loss accurately at an underweight BMI?
/u/usernameblahhhhh
Created: Fri Nov 24 02:25:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f6dnw/in_your_personal_experience_has_cico_projected/
---
We all know weight loss is a function of calories in, calories out. Eat less than you burn and you'll lose weight. On ED or any weight loss forums, it's taboo to suggest CICO is anything but a supreme, ultimate law that supercedes all else. Still, I'm curious to hear any experiences involving CICO projected weight loss vs real weight loss at a normal weight vs underweight BMI.
When I was at a healthy weight, my projected weight loss based on TDEE calculators vs tracked intake more or less aligned. Under a bmi of 17, even accounting for the fact that my TDEE/BMR is lower, the actual numbers on the scale are like 30% less than they're projected to be. With a Bmi in the 15s right now, this disparity continues to increases bit by bit. This doesn't mean CICO is any less true, but my own experience suggests to me that weight loss isn't entirely linear. And I don't just mean plateaus, it's like the numbers never completely catch up. Of course this makes sense as the body wants to survive, but I can't help feeling the disparity is indicative of personal failure or a sign that I've ruined my metabolism. I realize these ideas are somewhat delusional.
I am curious if anyone has had experiences similar to mine, or maybe the opposite.
-17lb
/u/Jerrabella
Created: Fri Nov 24 01:34:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f65za/17lb/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Depression ftw?
/u/lessavauges [5'10 | CW: 138 | GW: 126 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 24 00:52:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f5zhd/depression_ftw/
---
I mean, besides the bad parts like cutting myself and wanting to die, since being diagnosed and medicated for depression, I've lost 6kg from loss of appetite!! Who knew that was a thing?? Can anyone else relate?
[Rant/Rave] Welp :-)
/u/dipped_in_gold_ [5'3 | CW lmao | GW 105 | 22F]
Created: Fri Nov 24 00:34:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f5wkd/welp/
---
[removed]
fuck fuck fuck
/u/ellezara [5'4.5 | cw: 208 | gw: 110 | -24 lbs | 16F]
Created: Fri Nov 24 00:02:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f5ra6/fuck_fuck_fuck/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] unorthodox thanksgiving
/u/glorydaisy [5'3 | CW 125.6 | UGW 100]
Created: Thu Nov 23 23:49:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f5p15/unorthodox_thanksgiving/
---
I made it to the weight I said I'd be when Thanksgiving rolled around, but there was a slight problem. I was looking forward to being left behind, being that I had to work today and wasn't able to travel with my family to spend the holiday with everyone else. So I thought that was cool, since I would be able to avoid the worst holiday EVER.
However, my pastor said earlier this week that if anyone needed a place to go, his house was always open. So my parents of course sent me over there, which was fine, I guess. It was all fine, until I saw that they'd put me right beside the guy I have a giant crush on, my friend's cousin, who also happens to be the pastor's nephew. So I was gonna have to eat in front of him. I handled it really well, I think, and stayed at an acceptable weight, but there was something eating away at me. Something really bad. Like everyone was watching. Like they knew how I'd die.
I'm glad I got to sit down and have dinner with his family, and I'm glad we're all on such good terms, but I was terrified today. The only thing that made it okay is I know a lot of people have frequent binge days, and I'm okay with having one this week.
I have to be mature and accept that in my current situation, I shouldn't be with anyone. Even someone I'm this crazy about. This was one of the hardest realizations since my last relapse, including every time I remember my body is dying.
[Rant/Rave] Convinced my doctor to prescribe me a medication I don't need with weight loss as a side effect
/u/brita09234890235 [vora: brita | bmi 21.3]
Created: Thu Nov 23 23:34:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f5mku/convinced_my_doctor_to_prescribe_me_a_medication/
---
Idk how to feel about this. I feel somewhat guilty taking a medication I don't need at all just because weight loss is a side effect. What if this fucks up my body? I've heard scary stories about it. But another part of me is so happy. I had to stop myself from smiling walking out of the clinic with the prescription. Not to mention I went to another doctor the week before about the possibility of having a BED but I guess that didn't show up in my file at this doctor. I also liked how I was able to fake a condition so easily.
I've come to accept that my weight loss has taken priority over everything else. Just took it and already feeling dizzy. Fuck I have a feeling this is gonna be difficult.
[Help] My housemate is threatening to out me.
/u/PenMorrisek
Created: Thu Nov 23 23:10:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f5ib9/my_housemate_is_threatening_to_out_me/
---
I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say to him. He just went on a rant about how he's noticed I've been really self-destructive recently and I made the HUGE mistake of being honest because I thought he was my friend. And he's going to push me to go back to my psychologist (ed specialist). And if I tell him to step back he can't be my friend anymore.
I know he just wants to help and be a good friend but I'm not strong enough for recovery.
I'm an adult, what I choose to do with my body and my health is no one else's business. But he's so nosey he'll watch me like a hawk so lying is going to get harder.
I just don't know what to do. Other than pack and move out asap, I don't want to.
Apparently this is what Thanksgiving looks like when you're sad and sick in the head
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 23 22:23:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f59u8/apparently_this_is_what_thanksgiving_looks_like/
---
https://imgur.com/a/Z5mSl
[Help] Chew and spit?
/u/skydiver89 [skinny fat AF at 5'4" and 140 lbs]
Created: Thu Nov 23 22:22:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f59i4/chew_and_spit/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I'll get better tomorrow.
/u/eggsanded
Created: Thu Nov 23 22:17:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f58jk/ill_get_better_tomorrow/
---
[removed]
Can anyone guess her clothing size based on this pic?
/u/vctrlcs [5'6" | CW: 155.8 | GW: 130 | UGW: 115 | BMI: 25.1 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 23 22:13:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f57sk/can_anyone_guess_her_clothing_size_based_on_this/
---
https://i.redd.it/i32wr6x7xuzz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] hahaha fuck recovery
/u/fatstupidbitch
Created: Thu Nov 23 21:04:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f4v03/hahaha_fuck_recovery/
---
I used to post here a lot, on many different accounts (I frequently deleted and re-made accounts due to paranoia of being discovered) but several months ago, I decided to actually commit as best I could to recovery. I deleted my account for what I honestly believed would be the last time. I swore to myself that no matter how hard it got, I would never come back.
well guess what
I’m fucking back
I am so. FUCKING. sick of this. I tried. I swear to god I tried. I talked through the rough times and forced myself to keep going. I made myself believe it would be worth it. maybe for a stronger person, it would have worked.
But here I am and I’m a goddamn mess. I can tell my boyfriend—who is wonderful btw, this is in no way his fault, he is my best friend and frankly he deserves so much better—is not attracted to me. Obviously. I have gotten. SO. FAT. I don’t know how fat, I haven’t let myself step on a scale in so long, but it honestly wouldn’t surprise me if I’m actually overweight now. And that’s really not the main issue, but it’s a tangible consequence of my gluttony that I tricked myself into believing was part of recovery. Seriously, like tonight I had sexy music on and I was being very overt about mu advances and he was just. Not interested.
He’s asleep in the other room right now and all I can think about is how disgusting I’ve become. I deserve this. I’m nothing but a greedy fat idiot and I can’t believe I let myself get so bad. I hate. h. the body I’ve become trapped in. I hate appetite, I hate calories, I hate need, I hate me.
I’m so sorry if this is poorly expressed. I’m honestly pretty drunk. I feel so alone. I am an embarrassment. I deserve the pain I’m in. I have to make it right. I have to fix this. I don’t care if it kills me, I really don’t. I’d rather be skinny and dead than fat and forced to exist in a body I despise.
[Rant/Rave] My pets know me better than anyone ever will.
/u/DeathmetalFiretruck [5'5 | CW 82lbs | BMI 13.81 | HW 187 | 24F]
Created: Thu Nov 23 20:55:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f4thf/my_pets_know_me_better_than_anyone_ever_will/
---
Bless my puppies. They’re too pure for this world.
They’ve been with me when I c/s, cuddled me when I’m crying, and licked my tears after a bad b/p. Idk what I would do without them. They see my faults but love me anyway.
Currently cuddled with them on my bed. 😌
EDIT: [This is Zoe](https://m.imgur.com/gallery/Rgg4NQD) , [This is Skittles](http://imgur.com/p3IkXG0) , and [this is them together](https://m.imgur.com/gallery/Huq2dwu) . Mah puppers❤️❤️❤️
[Rant/Rave] Oh boy home alone for three days? Time to eat until you can't move!!
/u/caithaa [5'7 | 120 | 18.78 | 20F 🌼]
Created: Thu Nov 23 20:54:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f4tdt/oh_boy_home_alone_for_three_days_time_to_eat/
---
I had a couple of invitations from friends for Thanksgiving since my family lives very far, but I ended up not taking any of them because I always feel out of place whenever I'm someone's plus one during the holidays. So I decided to use the break I have from college staying in my apartment, thinking it would be a nice time to relax and catch up on some work, maybe work out a bit and start a new Netflix show.
But of course, as always, I became extremely dysfunctional. Does this happen to anyone else? When I'm left alone, I kinda shut myself off, stop talking to people and stop doing real people stuff like eating properly, waking up at a normal time, etc. I haven't taken a shower in over five days, keep ordering in and eating ridiculous amounts of food, I don't even feel hungry or full anymore. I've been playing video games for like 48 hours straight... I haven't left my apartment at all during this time. I am dreading the break coming to an end and being hit in the face with all of the deadlines I've avoided.
I wish I could be better :/ But the only way I have control over my eating/responsibilities is if there are people around me, not sure if it's an accountability thing. Or maybe it's just a pretend you're normal so they don't see how disgusting/weird you are thing. Either way, ugh, so ashamed of myself.
[Rant/Rave] [rant] bf called me fat
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 23 20:50:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f4shc/rant_bf_called_me_fat/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f4shc/rant_bf_called_me_fat/
[Rant/Rave] The good news? I didn't eat anything this Thanksgiving!!!
/u/stupidminnow
Created: Thu Nov 23 20:23:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f4nht/the_good_news_i_didnt_eat_anything_this/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I hate that I can't decide
/u/napalmlife_ [5'6" | 101 | 16.37 | F21]
Created: Thu Nov 23 19:56:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f4ihm/i_hate_that_i_cant_decide/
---
Some days I will look at myself and be like "wow you look really thin. people keep commenting on it. maybe you are too thin....go eat with reckless abandon these next few days so you can get your curves back!" And I go through one or two days where I binge. After that, I'll look at pics of myself and think "wow you actually look really great! Lets maintain!" But at that point I've been eating with reckless abandon for a few days so I just can't resist food. The fact that I want to eat and eat and eat scares the shit out of me so my mind switches to "YOU FAT ASS!! LOSE EVEN MORE WEIGHT RIGHT NOW!!!" and then I start restricting hardcore. It confuses me. I just wish I had a better sense of what my damn body actually looks like. I feel like I can't tell. I hate that my butt has gotten smaller and I want to gain a bit in that area...but whenever I gain weight I get TERRIFIED that it will go to my fucking face like it did last winter. UGH i'm in hell. trapped in my own mind
[Other] Anyone down to be my restriction buddy?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 23 19:44:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f4g9m/anyone_down_to_be_my_restriction_buddy/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f4g9m/anyone_down_to_be_my_restriction_buddy/
[Discussion] End of year goals
/u/squishysponges [18F|5'5"|GW 110]
Created: Thu Nov 23 19:11:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f4a81/end_of_year_goals/
---
What kind of goals do you guys have for the end of the year (ED and non ED related!)? I’m also looking for any good goal/reward template sheets to type and print out since I’ve been so unorganized lately!!
[Other] We fucking did it!
/u/ThisIsGumpy [Height 5'1| CW 112| GW 100]
Created: Thu Nov 23 18:56:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f47en/we_fucking_did_it/
---
I was so scared about Thanksgiving, especially because I am traveling and my friend wanted to try every Asian cuisine possible!
Turns out that authentic Asian cuisine is lower in calories??? I managed to stay well below my TDEE every day leading up to thanksgiving!! I had already made my week level out to where I could have 2100 cal on Thanksgiving and it was the best idea!
My weekly average maintained 850 a day and I will (FINGER CROSSED GUYS) still lose weight??
I'm so happy that I got through this holiday and it's over.
We did it you guys. No matter what happened, Thanksgiving is over and we all made it out alive!
[Rant/Rave] Thank fuck for Shirataki noodles
/u/lavendersmoke [5'5" | CW 127.4 | GW 105 | -5 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 23 18:51:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f46ba/thank_fuck_for_shirataki_noodles/
---
A friend suggested them to me last year and I shrugged it off, but last time I went grocery shopping I picked up a package of fettuccine style ones.
Finally got around to processing and cooking them, no sauces or anything where I live currently so I fried them with salt/pepper and some green beans plus a few artichoke hearts. Holy fuck, they were actually good. Such an easy low cal dinner. Except now I'm entering a binge mode because eating anything is kind of triggering for me.
[Rant/Rave] I tried to think of today as my scheduled “binge” day but of course I still feel super guilty for eating
/u/booger-burger69 [5'3 | CW: 117lbs | UGW 100lbs | -18lbs | 21F]
Created: Thu Nov 23 18:47:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f45n6/i_tried_to_think_of_today_as_my_scheduled_binge/
---
Like okay brain, girl, you gotta give me ONE DAY to just pig out in the name of Thanksgiving. But nooooOooOoo...
I’ve been restricting like crazy all November, haven’t binged once (for me, binging is eating anything more than a full meal because I get super nauseous after eating anything more than that and my acid reflux gets bad). Pretty much eat nothing or only eat dinner, half of which I chew and spit out. I haven’t gone a meal all month without chewing and spitting actually. I’ve been under so much stress from being in a really bad car wreck, not having my own transportation, and my boyfriend dumping me, etc that I barely have an appetite anyways. I even started purging a little after my car wreck because of the stress.
So today was my cheat day. Today I wanted to eat and binge without any guilt, because I deserve it. But nope! For one, my stomach couldn’t handle a lot of food before I became nauseous and stuff. And two, I *still* feel guilty even though I have been telling myself all month that today is a day to relax and enjoy some good food.
My ED has never been this severe before, and I don’t usually restrict around the holidays because I love the holidays and don’t feel stressed out. I’m just mad because I didn’t have enough room to enjoy all the food and I couldn’t enjoy it anyways because my brain was screaming at me to spit the food out or throw it up. Sigh.
[Rant/Rave] In a bathtub with a good rum n coke
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 100 | 16.84| GW 94 | F 22]
Created: Thu Nov 23 18:28:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f4202/in_a_bathtub_with_a_good_rum_n_coke/
---
I put bubbles because ive been a fat binging fuck for a month now and my body is boobless garbage. I purged what i could from my all day breakfast & dinner binge and it wasnt enough but i tried again and my tonsils hurt like hell. Fucking sucks i binged 2500+ yesterday as well. Im Gaining. I was so in control and now look at me. 94 to 96 to 100 to fucking 103. I need to fuck off 😢 i hate myself and my disgusting body. And my so isnt fucking answreing the phone so fuck it im getting wasted and ill be home tmrw
[Rant/Rave] Hating myself
/u/carlisam9797 [5'2" 19F | CW 119 | SW 130 | GW 105 | UGW 99]
Created: Thu Nov 23 18:26:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f41rh/hating_myself/
---
My highest weight was 130, borderline overweight for my 5'2 frame, but I've felt morbidly obese for years. When I went home for the summer I lost 15+ pounds, just shy of my 20 lb goal. I felt really great going into the new school year that I would be able to keep it up and eventually get to my goal weight, but after taking my first "cheat day" after months of restricting for the plane ride back to college, I completely unraveled. It feels like I've been in a trance for the last three months. It's like I keep smashing in food, but I never eat a bite without crushing guilt. The only way I can describe it is it's like my idealized version of myself is trapped in a little bubble screaming at the top of her lungs or playing back memories of times I've been told I'm fat for me, but I'm in this miserable paralysis where I can't stop going through the motions of eating. I feel totally out of control and it's like a living hell. I know that it's only a matter of time until I get that "lightbulb" moment again and just start restricting with ease, but I don't want to have gotten even fatter by the time that happens and then have to waste even more of my life losing it back again. I just feel like I look ridiculous and I'm wasting my youth not being thin and cute like all of the other girls. I think I need a buddy or a coach or something but obviously everyone I know acts shocked and appalled when I say that I'm fat. I KNOW I'm fucking fat, having people tell me otherwise honestly just really pisses me off even though I know they're just trying to be nice . I know I can't just sit around complaining until someone rescues me and magically helps me get back on the train of basic self control, I can do it myself and I have to do it myself. but Idk I just wanted to rant I guess
[Goal] First goal reached.
/u/PenMorrisek
Created: Thu Nov 23 17:54:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f3vis/first_goal_reached/
---
I got from 90 to 85kg this morning. But it doesn't feel like anything. I'm not proud or excited. I just feel tired, and frustrated that I'm not further along.
It doesn't help that I can get numbers mixed up (mild dyscalculia) and spent a lot of 2012 at 58kg.
[Help] Is it okay to use coffee to rid water retention?
/u/slowlydoesit1 [163cm | CW: 55.8 | GW1:48]
Created: Thu Nov 23 17:25:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f3pk4/is_it_okay_to_use_coffee_to_rid_water_retention/
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I ate a bunch of carbs yesterday and suddenly was up like 5lb! So today I’ve had about 4 coffees. I’m back down to my normal weight. Is that okay? Am I going to fuck up my body?
Frustration.
/u/Uppity-Kitten [5'2" | CW: 70kg |BMI28| 5kg| GW50kg | 21F]
Created: Thu Nov 23 17:20:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f3oil/frustration/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] i’m a weak bitch..... weak i tell you
/u/ScrunchiesandDraino [5’8” |cw:255 |-20lbs |20F]
Created: Thu Nov 23 17:12:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f3my3/im_a_weak_bitch_weak_i_tell_you/
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i binged..... duh it’s thanksgiving. i told myself i’d lay off the restricting and just have a “normal” thanksgiving dinner. I ate as much as everyone else in my family that came over, but i feel like i ate like 5x my daily intake in carbs alone.
granted i’ve been averaging 800-1000kcal a day for almost 2 months straight so i’m sure eating like 2000-3000kcal in one sitting is what’s killing me but damn.... i didn’t even eat that much more than anyone else... how do people eat this much almost normally
idk now i feel like shit and i feel fat and i want to take a nap and puke!
[Rant/Rave] Purging guilt
/u/serenityswild
Created: Thu Nov 23 17:08:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f3lzw/purging_guilt/
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My friend and I are going to a concert tonight and so we went out for dinner.
All I had was a small coffee from tims today.
Well I ordered that least caloric dish on the menu, 750 calories... didn't finish it and purged.
The worst part about this all is my friend had a very very very bad ED about 8 years ago and I feel like such a horrible person for being so upset about eating and purging it all while she sat and thought I was just peeping.
I'm starting to realize that this eating disorder of mine is so much worse than I thought it was.
[Discussion] I can't sleep becaise of binge urges
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | 120.3 | 19.4 | 13.4kg | 27.7-]
Created: Thu Nov 23 17:03:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f3kzn/i_cant_sleep_becaise_of_binge_urges/
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I'm so fucking exhausted, why won't my thoughts leave me alone? There's school tomorrow as well...
Does anyone experience similar things? Like I keep hearing about people sleeping thru binge urges, but honestly the ciabatta bread in the kitchen WILL NOT let me sleep.
[Rant/Rave] I have a cold on Thanksgiving.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 23 16:58:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f3ju5/i_have_a_cold_on_thanksgiving/
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[deleted]
[Help] How do I get my stats to present when posting?
/u/aliceintheair
Created: Thu Nov 23 16:46:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f3hhj/how_do_i_get_my_stats_to_present_when_posting/
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[removed]
thanksgiving success
/u/yaogauiasaurus
Created: Thu Nov 23 16:37:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f3fsu/thanksgiving_success/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Fuck Body Policing
/u/Tinytidy
Created: Thu Nov 23 16:32:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f3etn/fuck_body_policing/
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(I'm on mobile but this is totally just a rant)
In about three hours I'll be seeing family and friends I haven't seen in months. My weight is about the same as it was before but I think I've put on some muscle, which I sometimes feel good about abd sometimes hate. I don't know. What I do know is that at some point during this food fest of a holiday people are going to talk about my body.
Do they think I look bigger? Fitter? Smaller? Is there something about the way my physical form exists that ought to change?
Only time will tell.
I wish to god I had the courage to tell people not to talk about my body. But I just don't. So I'll awkwardly wade through their commentary while eating incredibly high calorie food and trying not to cry. Then I'll go home and try to remember why I don't want to have an eating disorder.
The worst part is that they'll have no idea what they're doing to me. They actually care a lot about me and wouldn't want me to feel shitty. Fuck me for being too much of a coward to speak up. Just fuck everything.
[Discussion] [Discussion] How do you keep yourself from bingeing?
/u/sicksadcook [162| 48.9 |19.03 | GW47 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 23 16:25:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f3df9/discussion_how_do_you_keep_yourself_from_bingeing/
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[Rant/Rave] Everything in my life is wrong.
/u/IHateBloodElves [5'3" | 136 | 25 | -38 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 23 16:23:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f3czj/everything_in_my_life_is_wrong/
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Hello everyone. I clearly need help and I have no one to talk to. Not even my stupid psychiatrist.
Yes, as it states, I try to recover from severe bulimia-hyperphagia-anorexia (depends on the phase I'm on), depression, anxiety ... I'm 20, out of my parent's respective homes (both divorced), no job, no studies, just a loving boyfriend but that doesn't pay the bills.
My psychiatrist is always changing the schedule of the next rendez-vous, she's doesn't take in count the fact I'm agoraphobic, bulimic and that I have suicidal thoughts and used to cut myself. She doesn't want to help me it seems, and I don't feel right with her.
I have so many issues I can't count. My eating disorders, my PTSD, my depressed state of mind, my lack of money, my self-hatred, the fact that my parents are taking care of my brothers and not me, my unhability to make sports or going out of the house again ... I'm agoraphobic and maybe I hate people in general.
Why, despite all the efforts I'm putting in my shitty life, I can't find peace, a job or studies, and making all the efforts to lose that goddamn weight in a healthy way ? What does "taking care of myself" really mean ? Should I change my psychiatrist or is the problem from me ? My body begins to let me down. I'm tired all the time. I need medicine to sleep.
TL;DR : My life sucks. I'm putting so much effort to let it evolve, it doesn't work.
EDIT : I'm diagnotised with bulimia since I'm 13 but I always had issues with food, my mom used to call me the pig.
Thanksgiving sorta successful
/u/oFILo
Created: Thu Nov 23 16:18:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f3c3v/thanksgiving_sorta_successful/
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[removed]
[Tip] a new strat?
/u/silverkel
Created: Thu Nov 23 16:14:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f3bb3/a_new_strat/
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Hellooo! So I wanted to share a new strat I have to restrict but also (hopefully...it's been good so far!) outsmart the binge gremlin. I was out for coffee with a friend and I was like "How are you doing" and he was like, "Oh, I'm kind of just starving myself right now" and I ALMOST SPAT OUT MY TEA like holy trigger ok....but basically he is going on the fitness train for intermittent fasting and not eating until noon or after 6pm, because he wants to lose weight so he can be more of a tank at rock climbing. And he was super happy and chill about it and was using it just as a temporary tool. And I was like...hmmmm maybe if I try to do this I can also approach it from a chill place! (nope) BUT that being said I am finding it as an awesome go-between between fasting 100% and then bingeing because you're SO hungry, and eating all the time. I have to make sure I eat before 6pm because I know I'm not going to for the rest of the night, and if I don't eat it drastically increases my chances of bingeing. It may sound weird but it's been helping me. I have been losing weight (eating low cal foods from 12pm-6pm). Also because my friend is chill I can just be like, I'm doing what he does, nbd, this is fine, it's FITNESS! Intermittent fasting...so trendy rn. Just thought maybe this approach would help people find the sweet spot.
[Intro] Hi!
/u/New-Dart
Created: Thu Nov 23 15:53:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f374n/hi/
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Hey guys!
Just rejoined reddit after a few years away because I suck at recovery and can't stand being at a healthy bmi at the moment :(
I'm needing a bit of socialising from people who understand ❤
I won't disclose my real name but my stats are
H: 174cm
CW: 54kg
BMI: 17.8
Age 25
I've lived with anorexia and bulimia for going on 12 years now, and I'm hoping to gain the motivation to recover soon. But for now, here I am ready to rock and roll.
Feel free to chat with me xx
[Rant/Rave] team 72 hour fast
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 23 15:40:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f34j0/team_72_hour_fast/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f34j0/team_72_hour_fast/
[Other] me_irl
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 23 15:22:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f30ud/me_irl/
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https://i.redd.it/302gqkduvszz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] local mom DESTROYS fatass teen
/u/yifans
Created: Thu Nov 23 15:22:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f30tk/local_mom_destroys_fatass_teen/
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so in july at my lw i bought an adorable yellow dress. since then, the freshman 15 has hit me quite hard and i dont quite know how to make it stop. but i put the dress on for dinner and go downstairs and my mom immediately goes "that would have looked better on you 15 pounds ago. go running tomorrow?"
so now im uh crying upstairs bc im ugly and disgusting and i hate my life and i hate that ive been binging nonstop since i started college because its hard and i have no friends anyway i wanna die and im so not eating tonight lmao
How much can you lose?
/u/lotus_re
Created: Thu Nov 23 15:07:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f2xl7/how_much_can_you_lose/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I thought I was recovered but apparently I’m still not.
/u/Throwaway728_
Created: Thu Nov 23 15:06:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f2xcy/i_thought_i_was_recovered_but_apparently_im_still/
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I was *so* excited for Thanksgiving today. I love all the food and I couldn’t wait. I didn’t eat breakfast or lunch to save room. But then I got to the party and I couldn’t contain myself on appetizers. I ate like a quarter of this huge wheel of baked Brie. And a lot of other stuff. Then when the main meal came around I wasn’t hungry *at all.* I tried to eat but it was painful even and I had a breakdown and ran to the bathroom and cried on the floor. Then I made my mom give me her car keys and now I’m sitting in there typing this. AND I’m with all the rich and conservative relatives that I don’t know about my mental health problems, so now I look like an idiot.
I thought I was recovered from my eating disorder ways. But apparently I still have no control over food. All I wanted was a nice Thanksgiving dinner today. But apparently that’s too much to ask for.
[Thinspo] Still unsatisfied.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 23 15:01:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f2w9j/still_unsatisfied/
---
https://i.redd.it/qihshxp3sszz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Literally what the fuck is my problem today
/u/PersephoneHazard [HW -53.8 | GW +46.2 | 🍑 PersephoneHazard]
Created: Thu Nov 23 14:56:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f2vbh/literally_what_the_fuck_is_my_problem_today/
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Literally crying right now because I'm sat in front of two salted caramel muffins and half a tube of Pringles and I'm so stuffed from binging already that I can't eat them but I'm either heavy restricting or fasting every day from now till Friday next week so I CANNOT have them in the house after tonight.
And I should just throw them away but I can't and I don't know why, and I know full well I'm probably going to eat them and my stomach hurts and I feel sick and I'm fucking disgusting and
...tell me again how this sub glamorises and promotes eating disorders, jesus fucking *christ almighty* I hate this shit.
[Help] When does the woosh come?
/u/CelebritySquash
Created: Thu Nov 23 14:07:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f2kbg/when_does_the_woosh_come/
---
Hi, first post, be gentle please.
I was eating anywhere between 2000-3000cal per day but I started a new sedentary job and I can't exercise so I saw my body changing.
I started seriously restricting 3 weeks ago. I'm doing shakes and I'm only intaking 350-500cal before dinner, then dinner might be up to 500 cal. So I'm finishing every day around <1000cals.
My weight **has not changed**, not even a single pound, in three weeks.
Am I doing something wrong? How can this not be working? I'm eating a third of what I was eating. Do I need to restrict even more? Or should I just keep going and it will happen. I hear about the woosh. When does the woosh happen?
Edit: I'm 5'3 and 131lbs
[Rant/Rave] I feel like a piece of garbage
/u/fuckingilluminated
Created: Thu Nov 23 13:55:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f2hdj/i_feel_like_a_piece_of_garbage/
---
I went to the hospital at 3 in the morning for my back pain, but honestly, that was only part of it. I mean, I was in pain, I have a severely fucked up spine and fibromyalgia. And my spine has gotten worse, so I don't go out or see anybody. I haven't worked since September and now I don't like to leave the house. It gives me such bad anxiety.
Not only did I now have to leave to go to the fucking ER, where they usually stick me with needles several times and touch me. I had to attend three Thanksgiving parties today. And honestly, I didn't want to go to any of them. I didn't want to be pressured into eating food. I didn't want to cave and lose my progress. And I kinda hate myself for it.
Fuck recovery. The world wants me to starve or else I'm just another jealous fat chick
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 23 13:38:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f2drd/fuck_recovery_the_world_wants_me_to_starve_or/
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https://i.imgur.com/5tVdNlQ.png
[Rant/Rave] Thanksgiving Horror Story
/u/skinthin [5'2| 100 | 18.3 | 35 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Nov 23 13:10:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f27ae/thanksgiving_horror_story/
---
Everything was fine. I wasn't panicking about not being able to count the calories. I was just happy to be with my boyfriend's family. I had 4 Brussels sprouts, a spoon full of coleslaw, and 1 deviled egg. I almost finished it, and then I tasted it... bacon. someone put bacon in the coleslaw. Tiny pieces of it everywhere. I started crying, then panicking, and then I purged. I promised myself I wouldn't make this day like this because I love being around this family and they love me. I'm sitting outside, feeling so disfuctional and like I'll never truly fit in with them. I hate myself. I know thanksgiving is an awful day for most of us, but I truly felt I could be normal for a day.
[Rant/Rave] Interrupted binge
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 60.9 kg | BMI: 22.6 | -22.6 kg | 21F]
Created: Thu Nov 23 11:46:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f1ng9/interrupted_binge/
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As the title says, my binge got interrupted. Yesterday I ate 150 cals but in tge night I got such a vad stomach ache I caved and ate a 300cal sandwich. I always drink some juice in the morning but all that still left me below 400 cals. You might think "sooo where does the binge come into play?". I thozght about potato and tortilla chips since monday and tiday I thought fuck it and bought some. Ate about 50g of the potato chips in the car and drove home with the plan on eating the rest and the additional bag if tortilla chips. BUT my brother came to visit. No room to binge. And on one hand I'm happy that that stopped me but in the other hand I'm pissed I couldn't go through with my plan and fear that the binge might hut me even harder later. Oh and mom made pizza. So far I'm at 1100 cals but the day and the night are sooooo long!
[Other] Warning: we might get brigaded soon
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 23 11:22:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f1hjy/warning_we_might_get_brigaded_soon/
---
Somebody linked us in r/teenagers in a thread about how awful we are and how this sub needs to be shut down. Lmao, like that’s ever gonna happen
Edit: lolllll people claiming this sub started their eating disorder because of how great it made EDs look. Okkkk bud
[Discussion] Does anyone else have songs that hardcore trigger their ED/restriction
/u/skinnysynth [5'3.25" | 113 lbs | 19.9 | -15 lbs | 🤖]
Created: Thu Nov 23 11:18:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f1gob/does_anyone_else_have_songs_that_hardcore_trigger/
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There's a song that came out right around the time of my relapse that literally sounds like it could be about my ED. It's scary how relatable it is. [song here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAO8WozIbSU). Does anyone else have ~that ana song~
[Other] Well, There ya go. Ice for dinner!
/u/Shh_its_not_me_yo [5'7 | CW: 123.8 | SW: 170 | GW: Less | Gender: F]
Created: Thu Nov 23 11:16:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f1g48/well_there_ya_go_ice_for_dinner/
---
https://i.redd.it/z9sx4342orzz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I'm getting worse and it's so scary [Huge Vent/Rant]
/u/BachelorOfFineDarts [18F | 5'9" | CW:132 | BMI: 19.14]
Created: Thu Nov 23 11:00:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f1c5h/im_getting_worse_and_its_so_scary_huge_ventrant/
---
First post in this sub reddit, so hey everybody. I’m a long time lurker and have honestly found reading this community super helpful in dealing with my ED, so thanks a bunch for that.
I’ve been engaging in ED behaviours on and off since i was around nine years old. I always felt I had it under control and that it wasn’t an issue. And it continued like that - flickers of ED behaviours, but I could extinguish them just as easily - until about a year ago when I was seventeen. I was a total overachiever and perfectionist my whole life (I still am) so I was constantly busy with extracurriculars, a part time job, and making straight As in school. I got particularly busy in my final year of high school and as a consequence had very little free time and a lot of stress put on me. I started dropping weight and lost twenty five pounds before I even noticed.
Once I became aware of my eating habits and their effect on my weight it became absolutely obsessive. I started restricting my calories, working out, and purging whenever I went over my calorie limits. I lost another 15lbs and was slightly underweight at LW. I had never been more attractive or desirable at that point in my life. But it was utterly obsessive and consuming. Looking at pictures myself from LW is terrifying for me - I looked so dead inside.
The summer went alright. The thoughts were still there, but quieted. I was eating more - a healthy amount - and even went vegan to help repair my relationship with food. I gained 10lbs back and am no longer underweight which is objectively a good thing. The first few months of university also went really well - hell, food was even a joy for me! it was incredible to enjoy food without worries for a short amount of time!
According to almost everybody else I’m still pretty slim - hell, I model a little bit to supplement my income as as student! - but I feel like they’re all lying to me. I’m so aware that I’m rationally not fat. I still fit in the clothes I wore at LW and my clothes don’t fit any differently really. I am, objectively, slim and I rationally know this. I just feel so huge and have no actual concept of what my body looks like, which makes me feel like I’m being lied to by the whole world sometimes.
The thoughts started worsening when I was deciding what to make for my first vegan thanksgiving. I poured over recipes I found online for yummy vegan treats and meals. I did baking over the holiday and brought all of it back to university with me for my friends to enjoy. They all remarked it was very odd that I hadn’t tasted any of it considering I had baked so much.
It all went downhill from there honestly. I started getting really bad body dysmorphia again. I started noticing calories and nutritional information again. My obsession with looking at recipes and restaurant menus and pictures of food intensified to a newly obsessive level. I started doing ten minute ab and thigh workouts in my dorm room. It was like my ED at its worst was back again.
But then this week it got even worse. I’m under a lot of stress between finals, writing papers, and being in a play that opens in a week (among other things). When I’m stressed, the first thing that goes is food. My appetite oftentimes decreases to nothing. I’m starting to do the thing I did in high school - I am so stressed and haven’t been eating a lot. At first I catastrophized my eating to the degree I had before: it was a very selfish problem, it had everything to do with control and my body image.
It started evolving from there though; this time it’s different. Lately I can’t get rid of this looming feeling that something bad will happen if I eat a certain food or eat at all. I also find myself not just concerned with eating beneath a calorie limit, but what foods I consume. Before I could eat junk food without major panic, so long as it fit into my calorie budget for the day. But now I’m so concerned with the purity of the foods I’m eating. Apples are one of the only foods i can eat without feeling utterly fucking awful.
I’ve got a Skype appointment with my therapist from back home tomorrow which should help immensely. But, like all of you know, there are so many layers to this whole situation. Part of me wants to recover and the other part of me doesn’t want to try at all. It’s so exhausting and twisted. I really am trying to help myself but I am living in the worst kind of fear right now. This fear of and obsession with food is something I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy. It’s so fucking consuming and destroying and scary.
I don’t know why I’m even posting this honestly. I just needed to vent a little bit - scream into the void I guess? The last little while has just been so fucking distressing and scary for me. I’m so sorry for the long post. If you read this far, thank you for making me feel like i’m being listened to and thank you for being part of this community that has a brought me so much solace in the worst days of my ED.
[Other] Today is going to be a hard day for many of us, but let’s have a positive moment and share something we’re thankful for :)
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Thu Nov 23 10:46:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f18ov/today_is_going_to_be_a_hard_day_for_many_of_us/
---
❤️ to everyone.
I think it’s fair for almost everyone to say that I’m thankful for this sub. You all are beautiful people for being so supportive here.
[Rant/Rave] Finally liking my body???
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW: 142 |CW: 125 |20.6 |GW 115 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 23 10:28:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f14f7/finally_liking_my_body/
---
A bittersweet ramble to get some things off my chest!
I’m starting to like my body. Wow, never thought I’d think that about myself. Yesterday I stepped on the scale and I was at a new low weight! 124.6! I honestly never thought I’d even be able to maintain 125, let alone get lower. I really looked at myself and realized that I was actually liking what I was seeing which is so weird for me.
It’s nice to look into the mirror and see your restricting paying off. It’s really nice when your clothes don’t fit anymore and people talk about how thin you are. At this point I’m so used to restricting that it’s hard for me to eat normal sized meals without getting full halfway through or feeling so disgusted that I can’t really continue, which definitely makes not eating easier.
I just like feeling like I’m proud of myself for once!
It’s so weird to think that four months ago I was 138IBS and it’s weird to look at pictures from then since I looked so much bigger. A year ago I was sitting around 145. It’s almost gross to look at those pictures, but I guess that’s more motivation to lose more weight.
At the same time it’s also weird. I never thought calories and food could mean so much to me. I remember back in high school and my one year of college, I wanted to be bony and thin so badly but it was like I didn’t care enough to actually do it. I can’t even remember what made me start restricting. Sometimes I worry myself with how disgusted I am about eating and stuff and how bad it’s gotten but then I look in the mirror and I like myself more. It’s kind of fucked up but it’s so fun. It literally is just a new way to self harm, I guess.
I’m positive that I’m not the only one who feels very bittersweet towards their ED. Holla if you relate
[Discussion] What do I look like?
/u/gross9876
Created: Thu Nov 23 10:26:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f140d/what_do_i_look_like/
---
Is there a sub or thread where people post body pics and their height and then others guess their weight? I've seen this before on Reddit but now I can't find it.
Didn't know where to post this. Thanks!
Finally liking my body???
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 23 10:15:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f1174/finally_liking_my_body/
---
[deleted]
[Help] Podcasts
/u/daintydaisydoll [5'1.5 / CW:105 / BMI: 20.3 / GW: 85]
Created: Thu Nov 23 09:42:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f0t4t/podcasts/
---
Does anyone know of a triggering/inspiring podcast. I need something to keep me going when I'm walking or travelling.
Podcasts
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 23 09:42:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f0sx1/podcasts/
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[deleted]
[Help] How do you tell if a scale is inaccurate?
/u/i-want-to-be-little [5’1.75 | 112.5 | 21.66 | -32.5 | F/NBish]
Created: Thu Nov 23 09:36:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f0rjk/how_do_you_tell_if_a_scale_is_inaccurate/
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I went back home for Thanksgiving and from now until Sunday I’m using my parents’ scale. It says 112.5 as of this morning but I feel like there’s no way that could be right.
[Help] help
/u/violetpuddins
Created: Thu Nov 23 09:25:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f0ot7/help/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Feeling the burn
/u/serenityswild
Created: Thu Nov 23 08:50:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f0glo/feeling_the_burn/
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I've been in a phase lately where I am literally purging every single thing I eat, well last night my boyfriend and I went out for dinner to celebrate our anniversary and with him staying over I didn't really have an open option to purge.
So I took 5 laxatives when we got home, and let me tell you about how I nearly just shit myself while sitting for a lecture.
Lesson learned.
[Other] I don't have to do thxgiving today but I'm in a binge phase
/u/clittter [5'1.5" | cw 150 | gw 145 | ugw 100 | -20]
Created: Thu Nov 23 08:46:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f0fon/i_dont_have_to_do_thxgiving_today_but_im_in_a/
---
My plan since I realized I didn't have to do thxgiving this year was to fast wed/th/fr. I made this plan like 2 weeks ago when fasting was easy and I was apparently a totally different person. Now instead all the stores are closed and I'll probably compulsively eat food tonight that's not even very good since I can't get takeout or anything. Is this irony?
[Tip] I know it says recovery (and that it's buzzfeed) but a lot of these are good tips for surviving this dreaded day.
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 57.2 | 19.11/18.89 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 23 08:42:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f0ex8/i_know_it_says_recovery_and_that_its_buzzfeed_but/
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https://www.buzzfeed.com/annaborges/holidays-with-an-eating-disorder?utm_term=.ik91qzMlk#.pyj8o0A3O
[Intro] So, I finally feel sick enough to say "Hi"
/u/Clearing14
Created: Thu Nov 23 08:37:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f0djx/so_i_finally_feel_sick_enough_to_say_hi/
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Hi everyone, nice to meet you and all that Jazz... I've been an on and off lurker here for ages, same old story, my weight and eating are messed up, but I never actually feel worthy of calling myself ill, or sharing very much, even online.
But, last night, I got smacked in the face by reality. My partner walked in on me purging. He knows I have food issues, and the general terms of what's wrong with me... but we don't really talk about it. I have never felt so ashamed and disgusted with myself in my life, for someone to see me like that, I just can't get over it. To make it worse - apparently my way of dealing with is is to spend pretty much all of my day sitting at my work desk binging. Wtf.
Anyway, I want this to change, I've had enough of living on the fringe of disordered eating and slowly gaining back the weight that I have previously lost when I was actually mentally strong enough to restrict. I want that back, I'm committing, I want to be skinny again, no more eating shit, no more purging, no more being a sick human being.
Sorry to moan on, I just wanted to say Hi, and that I'll see you around I guess. I'm glad this place is here, you all seem amazing x
(I will try to flair this rant/intro... cross your fingers I work out how?! If I don't - apologies)
[Help] How does weed help your binges?
/u/deadlylikesugar
Created: Thu Nov 23 08:27:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f0bgj/how_does_weed_help_your_binges/
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I've read that a bunch of people have found that weed stops them from bingeing...but I'm just like...how??? Haha
Personally, I try to avoid weed because I know that it almost guarantees a binge. I have horrible anxiety, and I actually love smoking because it makes me feel like a normal, anxiety-free person for a couple of hours. But I feel like I "can't" smoke because I just can't stop thinking about food.
Is it a state of mind type of thing? I would love some advice or to hear your experience with it to see if it's possible to alter this effect!
Side Note: I don't think the bingeing is anxiety related. Like, I'm prone to bingeing whether I'm feeling anxious or not, so I don't think the fact that weed takes my anxiety away leads to binges. It's not like smoking puts me into binge-mode where I feel the need to binge. I just...can't stop thinking about food itself and how good it is. Lol. Which, in turn, leads into an unintentional binge. I hope this makes sense!
[Rant/Rave] Failed two classes this semester...
/u/Atsugaruru [4"10 | GW: 120 | CW : 130 | UGW: 90 | 19F]
Created: Thu Nov 23 08:05:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f06h3/failed_two_classes_this_semester/
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I busted my ass and did my best to study despite my severe mental health issues. I've gained 8 pounds this semester. I've spent so many hours at my desk crying over these medical textbooks I don't understand. And for what? I failed 1/3rd of my classes. How am I gonna tell my dad? He's going to be so disappointed in me, the classes are so expensive. I don't think I deserve to live. I'd rather kill myself than face him about this. I just, ugh, I'm going to binge because I don't know any other way to cope.
[Discussion] How To Get Rid of Muscle (on arms?)
/u/aeroplanessky [5"3 | 110]
Created: Thu Nov 23 07:58:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7f051d/how_to_get_rid_of_muscle_on_arms/
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I swam competitively for so long as a kid/teen that I still, STILL have large arms for my size. If I flex, I can definitely feel and see a good hunk of muscle still there.
I want it gone more than I can express. Same with my traps tbh. But even though I was around 95 pounds at my lightest, they're STILL there! I just want to be waif-like, and having so much bulk, especially on my top half, is ruining it!
[Other] GOOD LUCK to everyone today for the worst holiday of the year
/u/smalldicksarein [5'2" F | CW 125 | GW 105]
Created: Thu Nov 23 07:01:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ezt6m/good_luck_to_everyone_today_for_the_worst_holiday/
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godspeed
Edit : tip wear a tight belt
[Discussion] What happened to r/transproED?
/u/95CHOI [M20 / -230lbs / RNY Gone Haywire]
Created: Thu Nov 23 06:54:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ezrqa/what_happened_to_rtransproed/
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Never been on the sub, finally went to go check it out and now it’s either been removed or privated? How come?
[Discussion] Can anyone relate to these strange feelings?
/u/aliceintheair
Created: Thu Nov 23 06:41:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ezp9q/can_anyone_relate_to_these_strange_feelings/
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So when I eat less (especially fasting) I depersonalise easier which honestly is such a oddly nice feeling. It’s calming because I don’t feel like me anymore, I don’t even feel like a person anymore, I just kind of fade away into a strange space of being here and not here.
I also get this strange thing that happens now and then especially when I’m going to sleep where I’ll feel like my body is “popping” for lack of a better word, it’s like I’m swelling and then shrinking, feeling massive then so so tiny.
Something else I get is a lot of visual disturbances, some self induced and some I think are ed related. The first kind only last a second or two and are either blotches of colour on my vision like when you stare at the sun for too long or little flickers that look like sparkles.
The other kind I can sort of trigger to come on by focusing on a point in space and looking at it for a long time, then these waves of particles will dance around everywhere. It’s a bit like focusing your eyes just right and reminds me of those magic eye books you look at as a kid.
I’m not on any meds so I don’t think it’s a side effect of anything else so I’ve always been interested if other people get things like this happening?
[Discussion] First Fasts
/u/StuDented [1.64m|CW: ?|GW: 55kg|UGW: 50kg|BMI: ?|Gender: F]
Created: Thu Nov 23 06:26:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ezmio/first_fasts/
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(On mobile, please flair as discussion)
I just completed my first fast: 38 hours, following at least a week of overeating & binging. I was so angry with myself, angry I could stay stuck fat forever because I am so pathetically dependent on food. So I decided something had to change.
So I did. I woke up (having decided the night before I should fast) and I became the person who followed through with that.
Coffee, a Monster, green tea, marmite and one tea w/ milk. And gum. Not a perfect fast, but a first fast, which is the psychological shift I needed.
I felt a lot of feelings without food to stuff them down with. I also felt nothing. I read more and wasted less time on the internet. I felt separate from the world around me, but not in an upsetting way. I felt I'd reclaimed some peace.
I broke it today as l promised a friend we'd get vegan cake. So I'm having soya yoghurt, cake, maybe some lo-cal soup. Then I think I'm going to fast again.
How were your first (and subsequent) fasts? I'm curious.
[Help] Please help me get out of this binge cycle before I kill myself.
/u/ribcage666 [5'8.5" | bmi 21.2 | -62 lbs | F 🌿]
Created: Thu Nov 23 05:31:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ezciz/please_help_me_get_out_of_this_binge_cycle_before/
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I binge almost every single night.
Liquid fast all day? Binge at night.
High restrict all day? Binge at night.
Eat properly and healthily like a regular person? Binge at night.
It's like a monster takes over me. I'll be in control and suddenly I'm eating eating eating. Once I finish one thing I move on to the other. I don't/can't/won't stop until my stomach is full to bursting, until my heart is beating out of my chest.
I've gained 5 lbs. Whether that's water weight or real fat doesn't even matter anymore. My thoughts are consumed by food 24/7. The only things on my mind are my weight, trying to not eat or when I can eat next, etc etc etc. I can hardly bear to look at myself in the mirror anymore. When I see myself I'm overcome by such visceral disgust and self hatred.
Every day is a struggle just to drag myself through whatever I need to do. I feel so tired. No one in my life can fully understand the pain of it. My body betrays me day in and day out and I'm fucking stuck in this terrible body forever. This terrible disgusting thing.
If I can't be thin I'd rather just die. If I'm forced to binge every night then there's no point in living. My eating disorder has been bad before but at least it helped me cope, made me feel good sometimes. This binging just feels like an endless hamster wheel of pain that I can't get off of. This is the lowest I've been in years.
[Discussion] Most embarrassing ED fantasy?
/u/notathrowaway836
Created: Thu Nov 23 05:24:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ezbb9/most_embarrassing_ed_fantasy/
---
That earlier post about using an eating disorder to get attention really resonated with me. I know it’s manipulative and horrible, but I definitely do it too.
My biggest (and most embarrassing) ED-related fantasy is that I just kind of waste away over the winter, and a male friend I haven’t seen in a while notices and yells at my boyfriend like “how could you have let her do this to herself!” And everyone gets all concerned and wants to care for me etc etc.
I told you it was embarrassing. What can I say, I crave love.
Anyone else want to share?
EDIT: omg I was ready to get totally destroyed. I’m so happy that so many of you relate to this, and I’m not totally fucked up. Keep them coming!!!
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support November 23, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Nov 23 05:11:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ez911/weekly_emotional_support_november_23_2017/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 23, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Nov 23 05:09:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ez8s7/daily_food_diary_november_23_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 23, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] DAE feel less bad when they binge on a healthy food?
/u/cancookaroast [179cm | CW: 80kg | BMI: 24.9 | WL: 17kg | 22F]
Created: Thu Nov 23 02:52:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eymd9/dae_feel_less_bad_when_they_binge_on_a_healthy/
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I just ate SO much fresh fish, and I don't feel that bad about it, despite being uncomfortably full.
However, if I did the same thing with fries or something, I'd hate myself.
[Help] EC stack question
/u/Elizawitch
Created: Thu Nov 23 02:51:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eym7t/ec_stack_question/
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Hello!
I've been doing research on EC stacks and wanted to know what you all use. When I google it I get a lot of protein powders.
[Help] Weird thing happened on MPA?
/u/PersephoneHazard [HW -53.8 | GW +46.2 | 🍑 PersephoneHazard]
Created: Thu Nov 23 02:40:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eykb6/weird_thing_happened_on_mpa/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Weirdly excited for tomorrow
/u/miacolette [5' | CW: 157 | SW: 177 | GW: 89 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 23 02:09:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eyf6s/weirdly_excited_for_tomorrow/
---
[removed]
[Help] Can you lose faster than losertown estimates?
/u/overweightandstress [5'8 | CW: 144 lb | BMI: 21.4 | GW: 127 lb| F]
Created: Thu Nov 23 01:22:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ey7t5/can_you_lose_faster_than_losertown_estimates/
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I know this sounds stupid, because it is. But I'm wondering how people are able to lose like 15 lbs in a week when losertown says that will take me ages even when I put food input as 0 cals. Does that mean you really can't lose weight faster than what they tell you? Is what other people experience really just water weight?
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend called me chubby...
/u/cocochaichai
Created: Thu Nov 23 00:31:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7exzh9/my_boyfriend_called_me_chubby/
---
I have never been in a relationship before this one and I’ve honestly never been happier than I am with this guy. He’s so sweet and protective and I love him so much. He also calls me beautiful and attractive and whenever I say anything bad about myself he immediately tells me how wrong I am. We have lots of little on going arguments that are really silly things like whose cuter, whose the lucky one, whether or not I have small boobs stuff like that and today I finally agreed to a little argument by saying that i do take small bites so I was like well now you have to agree with me on one. Well I picked whether or not I’m chubby which I of course say that I am. Well he’s like “well you’re not super chubby or anything, you just have a little chub, but it’s in all the right places, so ok I guess you’re slightly chubby” so I basically told him to say it but holy shit it hurt more than I was expecting...and then later in the night he just straight up was like “well I agreed that you’re chubby” it’s so stupid that I’m upset because I literally told him to say it but it still sucks cuz I was actually feeling so confident with him and I actually literally deleted my fitness pal two days ago cuz I was so happy and content and now all I want to do is starve until he thinks I’m thin and beautiful. Sorry that got so long I just had to get it out...
[Rant/Rave] I should have gone to the gym this evening, but I bought and ate an entire pizza instead.
/u/i_sigh_less
Created: Wed Nov 22 23:01:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7exjjh/i_should_have_gone_to_the_gym_this_evening_but_i/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Told my mom I wanted to die today
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Wed Nov 22 22:32:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7exe6f/told_my_mom_i_wanted_to_die_today/
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I was at work, and she’s staying with me for thanksgiving (this is he first year my family has come to me, since it’s just me, my mom, my aunt, and her wife - my other aunt, and my grandma passed this summer and we are going out to dinner instead of eating at family’s homes. Which is huge because thanksgiving has always been a trigger for me). I’ve been in a major depressive episode for months (hooray bipolar) and have basically been subsisting on alcoholism. I was able to cover it up when she was here ten days ago for my opera opening, but when I came home from work today, she confronted me about my room (in a nonjudgmental and wanting to help kind of way) because she went in there when I was at work. She was like I stopped counting after 17 bottles. I’ve only been gone for 10 days. She said I needed help (no shit, Sherlock). And I told her that the only time I feel worthwhile is when I’m singing (currently getting a master’s in opera), and all other times I feel like I should just die. It was almost a relief to tell her. Like obviously I need help, and Monday I promised I would reach out to the therapists in my area who specialize in hoarding (because I have that in addition to my ocd and everything else). But I literally just had two bites of cheese and two drinks at dinner. And I feel so empty and alone. And I’m failing all my classes because I can’t ducking get out of bed, and is it time to just admit defeat and go back into treatment??? I ducking hate DBT. It does nothing for me and my ocd makes it so that I hate all the notes he last bitch wrote on the board in group because it wasn’t formatted correctly and I’m terrible.
Sorry for the long post, I guess I just never really processed my breakup after a seven year relationship then my grandma going into hospice a month later and now it’s all bubbling to the surface.
[Discussion] It's been six days....
/u/PrettyThoughts_209
Created: Wed Nov 22 22:31:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7exe0i/its_been_six_days/
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Since I have eaten a single thing, I feel completely fine. I feel empowered. I'm terrified of how tomorrow, thanksgiving, is going to change that. My family will push me to eat and question if I only eat a small amount.
I guess I'll just purge??
What about you guys?
[Rant/Rave] Hello Euphoria
/u/skinthin [5'2| 100 | 18.3 | 35 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Nov 22 22:22:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7excc4/hello_euphoria/
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At my highest weight, I was living with a friend's dad while she was away at college. I was massive. I have been moved out of there for a few months, and yesterday I went to her house to visit because she was in town for thanksgiving, and one of the first things he said to me was "Have you lost weight? You look so...." and didn't even finish. I hadn't eaten in 3 days when he said that, and the euphoria ran through me when I saw the look on his face.
Also, unrelated, but DAE enjoy when something upsets them because it makes them fast more easily, with no cravings? Because I have been going through a lot of personal stuff and my psychosis has made me afraid of food, which has fueled me with motivation to not eat and only eat small low cal portions when I do eat. I just feel so unstoppable and I am slightly medicated from my anxiety medicine at the moment so.... hello euphoria.
[Rant/Rave] There could not be a worse time for anxiety
/u/Soybeansandsprouts [🍌5'5|105|17.68|Maintaining?🍉]
Created: Wed Nov 22 22:11:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7exa6v/there_could_not_be_a_worse_time_for_anxiety/
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I go to school across the country from where my family lives and I was 100% okay with staying at school, avoiding food, studying, and playing video games for the break like I did last year. My bf invited me to spend thanksgiving with his family and I agreed that it would be nice so we make the drive down and his family is sooo sooo sweet and friendly. It was getting pretty late so I announce that I'm going to get ready for bed. bf was on his phone and nods his head.
Idk what the hell is wrong with me because as soon as Ive finished washing my face and brushing my teeth I just break down in the guest bedroom and start crying as softly as I could. I keep thinking about all the work I have to do, all of the studying, my research project, and I just slump on the bed and make a mess of myself. I start questioning my relationship and ask myself why I even try because everyone makes me feel lonelier in the end. Over and over I keep asking myself why I can't just be happy. What could possibly be wrong right now? I just can't shake the feeling that I'm a failure and everyone is going to find out. I just felt so incredibly empty and alone inside.
So after like 20 minutes bf knocks on the door and asks if I need anything. idk if he could tell I've been crying or not cause he gets all sheepish and curls into himself like a guilty puppy. I felt horrible. Why do I have to put him through this? Why here??? Everything was fine in the drive over and we're finally here why do I have to ruin it??? I say something about poking my eye wile cleaning my face and excuse myself to blow my nose but he knocks on the door again and I can tell he just has no idea how to handle me and my stupid problems. I just play dumb and smile and kiss him goodnight. Im pathetic guys. I don't deserve any nice things. I know He's not going to bring it up tomorrow because he doesn't really talk about feelings which I can't decide if I'm grateful for or not. I should have stayed in my apartment like a good lil hermit.
[Rant/Rave] Anyone else have parents that try to be supportive but just make you feel even worse?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 22 21:55:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ex71c/anyone_else_have_parents_that_try_to_be/
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[deleted]
[Help] Dealing with being jealous of family members?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 22 21:50:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ex64j/dealing_with_being_jealous_of_family_members/
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This is my second post here today... day one of being home for the week of Thanksgiving is hard. My family decided to try on dresses for this stupid event that we're going to this weekend and dumbass me brought one I wore when I was like thirteen, thinking it would still fit the same. I was having serious trouble getting it to zip (and a few others, as well), so my aunt was like "give it to your cousin! She's your same height but ten pounds skinnier. She's so skinny." I know I shouldn't be jealous of her because she has stomach issues (and I worry an ED as well), but that comment absolutely gutted me. I've been underweight or bordering on it my entire adult life and nobody has ever shown concern or even noticed, and now I'm not even the smallest person in the family. All I want to do now is starve and go to the gym. So I'm sat here on a workout bike at midnight, desperately trying to undo some of the damage of pre-Thanksgiving, and I just sort of want to die.
How do you guys deal with being jealous of family members? Tips/tricks would be appreciated.
[Other] Totally gonna fast after thanksgiving
/u/DayddyLonglegs
Created: Wed Nov 22 21:35:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ex37g/totally_gonna_fast_after_thanksgiving/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] The book In Her Shoes
/u/am_i_the_grasshole [5'8 | CW:122 | 18.6 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 22 21:07:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ewxhd/the_book_in_her_shoes/
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I just started reading the book In her Shoes (old schmaltzy 'chick lit' book that was a reasonably successful movie a while) and it introduces the two main characters.
The hot dumb sister and the fat smart sister. It goes on and on throughout the book about how insanely hot the dumb sister is and how tragically grossly fat the smart sister is. Okay.
But then pretty early on in the book it decides to throw concrete numbers out there.
The hot sister, who has no established eating issues or anything, is 100 pounds at 5'6, so bmi of 16.6. Later on it says the fat sister is "two inches taller and fifty pounds heavier". So 5'8 150? A bmi of 22ish?!
And then shortly after it says the fat sister is meant to be a size fourteen and that she can't shop in straight sized stores and that all her life she's been harassed by her step mother and kids at school for her weight.
What the hell book?
Is it that standards for size in our culture has really changed that drastically since 2002 or is this author just really bad at estimating weights and no one bothered to notice during the publishing process? Cause if this is really how things were and how sizes were perceived back then, goddamn I'm glad I wasn't a teenager then.
I don't know, this is probably of zero interest to everyone, but I thought it was weird and wanted to rant about it somewhere and I knew no one I know in real life would care lol.
[Rant/Rave] HOW DID I GAIN 4 FUCKING POUNDS IN ONE DAY??!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 22 20:48:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ewtr9/how_did_i_gain_4_fucking_pounds_in_one_day/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ewtr9/how_did_i_gain_4_fucking_pounds_in_one_day/
[Rant/Rave] Spending my evening wallowing in self pity and it's very motivating
/u/lavendersmoke [5'5" | CW 127.4 | GW 105 | -5 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 22 19:42:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ewg0n/spending_my_evening_wallowing_in_self_pity_and/
---
I was somewhat recovered for awhile but lately I've been dipping back into it.
Mostly self inflicted but also caused by shit I remember either my ex or friends saying to me, or even just not being able to eat from casual depression.
Sucks not ever being good enough but one day maybe I'll be skinny enough right. Back to calorie counting and lurking this subreddit constantly, thank fuck for thinspo tags on Tumblr. /end rant
[Rant/Rave] i accidentally attended a surprise thanksgiving today
/u/kittencow
Created: Wed Nov 22 19:18:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ewawu/i_accidentally_attended_a_surprise_thanksgiving/
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i go to group meetings run by my mental health clinic weekly. i walk in today, expecting a group on surviving thanksgiving, and i'm greeted by a fully set thanksgiving table. i almost fucking ran.
what proceeds is the worst hour of my life. all the staff is there, people i know, and the other group members. none of which know i have an eating disorder. well, they may know now judging by all the concerned looks and comments i got. i didn't eat a thing, which was a mistake but i just couldn't eat in front of all those people :(
i really do not want these people knowing about my disordered eating. i hope they don't confront me. my next doctor/weigh in is in 4 months. i have 4 months to be underweight without anyone knowing.
stressed :(
[Rant/Rave] Food doesn't even taste good anymore. [Vent/Rant]
/u/fcxmulder
Created: Wed Nov 22 17:34:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7evooh/food_doesnt_even_taste_good_anymore_ventrant/
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I've been dealing my ED for 6 years, on and off since I was 11. I, for one, feel like I'm way too old to be doing this. It's come back stronger than ever over the past few months and it's incredibly stressful on my relationship with my boyfriend. He's so worried about me and I don't know what to do about it. I tell him I'm okay and I'm not sure he believes me. I keep wanting to share my progress with him but every time I do we argue and fight. I can't even bring myself to eat. Food tastes disgusting. It might be a side effect of my new medication, but I don't think it is. I've lost almost 10 lbs in two weeks. I'm currently laying in bed shaking because I'm so anxious about having to eat later (I have to take one of my medications with food or else it doesn't work) and my blood sugar is so low from having eaten only once in the morning. I can't tell my psych because she'll send me away (I'm also schizophrenic and hospitals are one of my biggest triggers, even the thought of them or talking about them in the slightest sends me into panic attacks). I know this is problematic. I know this hurts me. But nobody can know. I wish I didn't even tell my boyfriend. I don't know what to do and I just had to get this out somehow, I'm sorry. Thank you for reading if you made it this far.
[Rant/Rave] Self care is an act of survival
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Wed Nov 22 16:33:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7evak3/self_care_is_an_act_of_survival/
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I read an article discussing this concept this afternoon and something clicked in me. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I love the spirit of it, I love to cook, I love to eat. Every year before my ED I literally made spreadsheets planning and couldn’t wait for the day and enjoyed it to the fullest all weekend. Now...I’m googling “how much weight can you gain in 4 days,” I’ve planned the most minimal uninspired meal, I’m panicking. My life has recently sucked. Not just ED but work as well. I’m now on vacation kicking off with my favorite holiday and all I can do is try to ruin it for myself. I was going to fast tonight but screw that, it’s my first day of vacation and I’m going to just not eat and suffer? Why? I have the option to eat, many go without and have no choice. This is exhausting so I’ve decided to put the scales away and eat whatever I want and however much I want until at least Monday. I’ll actually eat when hungry and stop when full. If that’s a surplus then so be it. It feels reckless but it also feels like this is ideal for mind and body and the reckless feeling is just disorder speaking but I’m tired of not living my life. What is my life if I can’t take joy in my favorite holiday and vacation? Please tell me I won’t regret this, you can’t become a whale in 4 days right?
[Rant/Rave] "Honey i can tell you've lost weight. You're beautiful again."
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 151.5 | GW: 118 | -15.3 | F24]
Created: Wed Nov 22 16:06:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ev496/honey_i_can_tell_youve_lost_weight_youre/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Weird "test" / binge behavior
/u/vctrlcs [5'6" | CW: 155.8 | GW: 130 | UGW: 115 | BMI: 25.1 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 22 16:00:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ev2x0/weird_test_binge_behavior/
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Sometimes I will buy a shit ton of fast food or order a huge pizza, sit staring at it all for like an hour, then throw it away or give it to someone else. I think im kind of testing myself to see if i can have it but not eat it, or maybe im deriving pleasure just from looking at binge food but not eating it. idk its so fucking weird... does anyone else do this or something similar?
[Discussion] What is fashion that only thin women can pull off well?
/u/xylicat
Created: Wed Nov 22 14:46:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eukkx/what_is_fashion_that_only_thin_women_can_pull_off/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I hit a goal... but at what cost... (rant) (possible trigger)
/u/blerg1234567
Created: Wed Nov 22 14:36:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7euhwl/i_hit_a_goal_but_at_what_cost_rant_possible/
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Woke up, weighed myself, and I hit a pretty big goal weight that I’ve been waiting to see on the fucking scale for days. I should be happy.
Except I got drunk last night (after having only eaten a packet of oatmeal and 26 almonds), and drunk texted people and sounded like a total asshole, yet again. Then, when I was no longer getting responses/attention from anyone, I decided to pull apart a razor and cut myself for the first time in fucking years. Wtf am I doing to myself? I’m supposed to be an adult but I’m acting like a fucking teenager.
[Thinspo] Happy reminder about eating: I ate my TDEE and still lost weight <3
/u/snow-faerie [165cm | 58.9kg | 22.6 :( | -6kg | F]
Created: Wed Nov 22 14:34:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7euha3/happy_reminder_about_eating_i_ate_my_tdee_and/
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and you can too!! I promised myself a 'moderate' binge day (very hard week, pms, missed two work outs) and I am so happy to see I am half a lb. lighter today. :) Don't sweat the small stuff!! Hope this will cheer up and motivate the right person who needs it right now.
[Help] I was doing so well...messed up bad.
/u/darkchocolaterocks [5'0 | 98lbs | 19.14 | 27F]
Created: Wed Nov 22 14:28:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eufnm/i_was_doing_so_wellmessed_up_bad/
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Hey guys!
I have been binge eating and purging on and off, mostly off, for a while now. I was doing really well; working out consistently, letting myself eat everything in moderation, etc. Well, today completely screwed me over.
We had a thanksgiving potluck at my work, I'm still here so food is still in the kitchen...well, I binged on the dessert like crazy! I told myself I wouldn't even have a little since this entire week is going to be filled with goodies and my birthday is right around the corner BUT I fuc**** up. Started off with a tiny piece of banana cream pie, ended up taking a piece of an apple pie, then ended up cutting a piece of carrot bundt cake, then an apple kugel, and had 2 pieces of chocolate mint squares. That was on top of the food I already grazed (vegan chili, potato pastry, pasta salad, guac and chips). I felt terrible as I was finishing up my dessert so I quickly ran to the bathroom here (thankfully no one was in there) and purged it all out until I saw the chili which was the first thing I ate.
I feel horrible now. Every time I've purged before, I felt bloated and disgusting for days until my body completely healed itself. It doesn't help that I am on my period right now and still have cramps and it is only 1:23 in the afternoon. I will need food again eventually. I also have not been able to workout since my period started due to the intense pain.
What do I do? What do I do to repair my body from this stupid incident as quickly as possible? I filled up a liter of water so far. Not planning on having anything until dinner. My boyfriend and I are having dinner together tonight so I don't even know what to do then.
Why have I no self-control:/
:(
Peach - binge/lax users
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 22 14:09:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7euaym/peach_bingelax_users/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7euaym/peach_bingelax_users/
[Discussion] Will wearing a plastic retainer or night guard prevent damage to your teeth when purging?
/u/PatternsInMyLife
Created: Wed Nov 22 13:59:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eu8bo/will_wearing_a_plastic_retainer_or_night_guard/
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[Thinspo] Emotional/intellectual thinspo
/u/pleasegodnofuck [5'3 | 852lbs | 155.1 | -11lbs | ?]
Created: Wed Nov 22 13:54:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eu6yh/emotionalintellectual_thinspo/
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I don't know how else to phrase this, but does anyone use stories from movies/books/tv shows/etc to trigger themselves? Excluding those that are explicitly about ed's.
I think about Spirited Away a lot when I'm restricting. Chihiro's abstention from excess (including food in the beginning) sort of motivates me to be the same way. Like, I try to eat only just enough to keep me alive (sort of). This is suuuper silly especially considering that this is a movie for kids.
[Rant/Rave] My month has sucked ass: A Memoir. TW: drug mentions
/u/religiousdogmom [5'5.75 | CW155.6 | GW105 | BMI 25.53 | 25]
Created: Wed Nov 22 13:50:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eu5ye/my_month_has_sucked_ass_a_memoir_tw_drug_mentions/
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OKAY, let me just tell you about the ABSOLUTE HELL that has been November. It's not super ED oriented, except the trauma has killed my appetite. It's just stressful as fuck. TLDR at the end.
The first weekend in November, my fridge had a freon leak. So I had to go to the ER. Not super traumatic, knocked out my deductible at least. I was sorta bummed because none of my friends offered to take me, even though I try to be there with them when they are stressed and sick. That just stems from having to take the bus to the ER when I lived in Boston, because I didn't want to burden anyone. But seriously, not a big deal.
Then the second weekend, I learned that my boyfriend of 3.5 years has warrants out for him. For stealing. From right when we started dating. We've been going through a rough time, and this was just the final straw. I felt so betrayed. So I broke up with him. Then in our break-up talk, he revealed that he has been a drug addict for longer than we've been dating. He is committed to getting sober. He is moving to his aunt's and going to try to get his life on track. I hope he does. I want there to be a future for us. But I can't be in a relationship with him while he figures this out. I hope we still talk because I love him so much. But he needs to be a better person.
OKAY, so that is all super traumatic, right? But surely my month couldn't get any worse? WRONG. SO SO SO WRONG.
On saturday, one of my oldest friend's mom calls me in a panic because my friend (I'll just call her J) was acting weird and incoherent on the phone. I told her I would check on her. I get an uber and go over there. I enter her apartment and find her unconscious, unresponsive, and gray. I thought she was dead. I call 911, and I am trying to not freak out and be calm on the phone. Midway through the call, J's other friend "Julie" comes into the house. We are both trying to keep it together. The EMTs come, and the police, and the fire department. I ride in the ambulance to the hospital with her, while trying to text her mom and not totally breakdown. I hear the EMTs yelling at J to wake up. They had to give her narcan, because she overdosed. She says it was an accident. She took three 15mg oxy, 3 klonopin, a xanax, and 3 muscle relaxers, plus 4 drinks. She says she was just trying to sleep. So the hospital doesn't hold her and releases her at like 4 in the morning. I was sobbing to the nurse to please keep her for observation because it seemed like a suicide attempt. They wouldn't.
Julie, J and I get back to J's house and Julie finds a note to J's boyfriend. Let me just tell you about this piece of shit. He was J's counselor for years, started an inappropriate relationship with her. And then slept with her as soon as she wasn't a client of his. In the US, you have to wait at least 5 years to have a relationship with a previous counseling client. He is a counselor at a university and a sex therapist. He has access to a shit ton of vulnerable women. He is also married with kids. They've been seeing each other for about 2 years.
She flips out on us for finding the note and accuses us of going through her things. And I was like "I found you almost dead so sorry you're angry but lol too bad." She accuses me of overreacting because of the recent breakup with my boyfriend. I let Julie stay and watch her because I am so tired and traumatized and done.
The next day, I tell my therapist about J and her boyfriend's relationship and how it started. My therapist reaches out to her supervisor who reaches out to Jason to try and fish for information. Jason flips out and immediately tells J, who then spends the next 24 hours just sending me the most angry, hateful, manipulative, gas lighting texts. She is furious at me. She threatens to call the police on my ex boyfriend. I basically had to block her on facebook and snapchat, and mute her messages, because holy fucking shit.
So our friendship is probably over. I feel so tired. I am not sleeping, I am not eating, I am sore all over. I feel like my life is just turned upside down.
SO JUST A PSA: DO NOT TAKE NARCOTICS AND/OR BENZOS WITH ALCOHOL. You can and will die. The police said that it was good that we got there when we did or she could have died. She was on death's door.
TL;DR: Found out my boyfriend was a drug addict and then a friend almost died from a drug overdose and I found her within the span of 8 days and I am so tired.
[Discussion] ED side habits/addictions
/u/321Model [5'4| CW: 190 | GW: 150 | 30's/F]
Created: Wed Nov 22 13:38:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eu2ls/ed_side_habitsaddictions/
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Wanted to know what, if any, side habits or addictions you all may have.
For many years, I've pilfered things like paper towels, toilet paper, and samples from my job. Aside from saving money, which I desperately need to do, it calms me.
[Rant/Rave] I got more validation from health professionals.
/u/IttyBittyBatty [5'5" | CW 😱 | -22.58lb | F]
Created: Wed Nov 22 13:37:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eu2ke/i_got_more_validation_from_health_professionals/
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I mentioned before that my therapist is thrilled with my weight loss, and unconcerned about how I've going about getting my results. (-22.8lb now in just 47 days!)
Today I met with my psychiatrist and then my family doctor to touch base and get a physical. Both were over the fucking **moon** with my weight loss. My family doctor asked what I was doing and I just said CICO. She did ask what I was doing for daily calories and I told her I have my app set to 1200cal/day (not a lie). She was pleased and told me to keep it up. A small lie by omission on my part by not mentioning that I'm coming in far below that number every day but... ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Feeling pretty damn good right now.
[Rant/Rave] I’m never eating pizza again.
/u/dre-ezy [5’4 | CW 101.2 | ftm ]
Created: Wed Nov 22 13:08:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7etuo4/im_never_eating_pizza_again/
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Since I hit 101.2lbs today (a new low!) and I’ve been doing good at not binging I decided to be stupid as fuck and treat myself to two slices of pizza from metro. Multiple different websites said each piece of 380, making my total 760 for the day.
FIRST OF ALL, the lady who worked there gave me the pizza in two different bags because she thought I was ordering for two people. Two fucking people
SECOND, my apply pay got declined and I had to wait and fix it quickly and the cashier got really snappy and mad at me
THIRD, the bench where I normally eat had two people on it and I had to sit next to them and have them watch me fucking eat
FOURTH The pizza slices were HUGE... I could NOT BELIEVE they were 380 calories each. There had to been a mistake. All I could taste while eating them was grease. But I couldnt stop myself
I couldnt finish the second slice because I was so disgusted with myself
I’m panicking because there was no way those slices were only 380 calories. I cant believe it they were so greasy
So greasy it was seeping through the bag
Imagine how I mustve fucking looked.... Fat as fuck sitting on a bench eating greasy food
That was three hours ago and Im literally still so uncomfortably full I want to cry. I was so full and lethargic I had a forty minute nap right after in the cafeteria at school
i hate myself
im scared they were more calories. im scared of gaining weight. i cant gain weight.
[Rant/Rave] Being home for Thanksgiving is hard, you guys
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 22 13:00:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7etsku/being_home_for_thanksgiving_is_hard_you_guys/
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I've been in binge mode for the past two weeks already, which was slightly mitigated by the fact that I don't have a lot of food in my house and I can exercise however I want.
I got to my parents' house last night and the first thing my dad says is that I look "healthy". That triggered something in me because immediately the binge eating started. I've already had pie, mashed potatoes, two cookies, and a bagel, and I haven't even been here a full day yet. It's gotten to the point where the food isn't even digesting anymore. I can just feel it sitting in my throat and I so badly want to try and purge it but I've never done that before and I know if I start I won't stop.
The worst part is that there are exercise machines here but I didn't bring workout clothes because I thought I had some here, and I've just lost all motivation to try and get back on track.
Any advice? How's your Thanksgiving going?
[Rant/Rave] I don't know what hunger and fullness even feel like
/u/OriginalJokeGoesHere [170cm | GW 45kg | 🇨🇦 ♂︎]
Created: Wed Nov 22 12:49:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7etpnd/i_dont_know_what_hunger_and_fullness_even_feel/
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So I've been bouncing between heavy restriction/fasting and binging thousands of calories for such a long time now and I don't even know how to eat normally.
Honestly, I feel the same after having just eaten as I do during a fast and I don't really know how to tell when I should eat or not. I feel like recovery isn't ever going to happen because I have no idea how to eat without binging or eating three bites of a salad. People talk about "intuitive eating" and I kind of feel broken because I don't ever think I'm going to be able to do that.
[Help] How many of you plan ahead your daily calorie allowance and stick to it?
/u/NIN_88 [5'3 | SW: 128 | CW: 113 | GW:89 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 22 12:28:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7etjte/how_many_of_you_plan_ahead_your_daily_calorie/
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[removed]
[Tip] Mango Tofu with Broccoli (206 calories)
/u/mintslut [4'11 | CW: 115.4 | UGW: 84 | -8.2lbs | F]
Created: Wed Nov 22 11:24:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7et1vr/mango_tofu_with_broccoli_206_calories/
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Ho. Ly. Fuck. Guys.
I have no idea how I stumbled across this recipe, but in my avid search for low-calorie Chinese cuisine, I created something so amazing - so seductive - so delicious - and so damn worth it.
It's vegan, low calorie, pretty low carb, and definitely lower sodium than takeout. (Right about now, I wish I'd taken a picture of the dish before devouring it...)
So yeah, without further ado -
**Mango Tofu with Broccoli**
*Ingredients*
* 85g extra firm tofu: 130cal; 2g carbs; 15mg sodium
* 74g broccoli, cut into florets: 25cal; 5g carbs; 24.4mg sodium
*Marinade:*
* 1/4 cup (62mL) mango juice: 30cal; 8g carbs; 7.5mg sodium
* 3mL balsamic vinegar: 3cal; 0.5g carbs; 1mg sodium
* 1/8 tsp ground ginger: 1cal; 0.2g carbs; 1mg sodium
* 1 small clove (about 1g) garlic, minced: 1cal; 0.2g carbs; 0.2mg sodium
* 1/8 tsp salt: 0cal; 0g carbs; 288mg sodium
* 1/8 tsp pepper: 1cal; 0.2g carbs; 0mg sodium
* 5mL lemon juice: 0cal; 0g carbs; 0mg sodium
* 1/8 tsp chili powder: 0cal; 0g carbs; 0mg sodium
* 1 tsp brown sugar: 15cal; 4g carbs; 1mg sodium
*Steps:*
1. Wrap tofu in paper towels and press between something heavy to remove excess water (approximately 30 minutes).
2. Prepare marinade by mixing all dry ingredients, then mixing wet ingredients. Stir dry ingredients into wet slowly, to make sure there are no lumps.
3. After thirty minutes, cut tofu into desired shape/size.
4. Next, you have to "dry fry" the tofu. Heat a non-stick skillet or frying pan on medium heat. Place tofu on the skillet. Using a spatula, press the tofu into the skillet so that it sizzles and any remaining water evaporates. Ten minutes of dry frying total, five on each of the two sides. (Note: you could dust the tofu with cornstarch to make it even crispier, but that'll add more calories.)
5. Now, marinate the tofu in the mango marinade (approximately 30 minutes).
6. After about 27 minutes, toss the broccoli florets into the pan on low heat and add a couple tablespoons of water. Cover with a lid and let steam for 3 minutes. This will allow them to cook, but retain their crunch.
7. After 30 minutes, take the tofu out of the marinade and put them in the pan along side the broccoli. Save the marinade!
8. Stir fry the tofu and broccoli for 30-45 seconds. Add the marinade and allow to simmer until desired consistency is reached. (I like having a little bit of a sauce over my food, so I don't add cornstarch slurry, but you could definitely add that - it will add onto the calorie count, however.)
9. Serve and enjoy hot!
**Total: 206 calories; 20.1g carbs; 338mg sodium**
Edit: [Pic!](https://imgur.com/a/qnpH8)
[Rant/Rave] i thought i would like the attention i got from weight loss, but guess what...i dont...don't ask me how much weight i lost and dont tell me i look thinner and dont ask me why...
/u/LOdowwnlorettabrown
Created: Wed Nov 22 11:00:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7esvak/i_thought_i_would_like_the_attention_i_got_from/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Do you ever find it a relief to be done eating for the day?
/u/NegativeOscillation [5'9" | CW: 147 lbs | GW: 115 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Nov 22 10:09:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eshhc/do_you_ever_find_it_a_relief_to_be_done_eating/
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Today, I knew that I would only be eating one specific thing. After eating it, I felt relieved because I don’t have to think about food for the rest of the day. I can just drink my water, tea, coffee, etc.
This is a new feeling to me - in the past I’ve always felt stressed after eating what I had designated for the day because I want to eat more and I obsessively focus on that.
What do you usually feel like after eating your caloric allotment for the day?
[Rant/Rave] I can break the 120s well before Christmas :D:D
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | CW: 120 | GW: small | F]
Created: Wed Nov 22 10:06:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7esggy/i_can_break_the_120s_well_before_christmas_dd/
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If the scales in my dorm and at my parents' house are correct, I'm right on the cusp of 120/119. Which means I'm almost back to the weight I actually felt somewhat-confident in. I thought I'd screwed everything up with a binge or two the past month-ish, but my restriction is working out well. (Always trust the CICO. CICO will never fail you.)
And then I might be even lower than that by the next holiday! Merry Christmas to me.
July 14th - Now
/u/Kit-Katt99
Created: Wed Nov 22 09:37:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7es8lz/july_14th_now/
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[removed]
[Help] I think I need to "maintain" temporarily and I'm terrified
/u/sea_castle [5'3" | CW 96.2 | 17.5 | -16.4 | GW 88 | 23F]
Created: Wed Nov 22 09:35:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7es7wd/i_think_i_need_to_maintain_temporarily_and_im/
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I started writing a novel here, but no one wants to read that, so here's a list instead. (And then I wrote a novel anyway 😕)
1. I've been restricting (more heavily than usual for me) for about three weeks now, and I'm finally into the swing of it.
2. I just got back to my pre-binge weight (96).
3. I am currently visiting my family for Thanksgiving, and trying to restrict while I'm there has been super scary and stressful.
4. Last night, my mother confronted me about how I've "never been this thin before" (even though I have) and straight up asked me if I'm anorexic. (btw she doesn't understand EDs at all 🙄)
5. I managed to throw her off by saying that I've been having trouble eating because of digestive issues I've been having. (Which isn't a total lie. I do have GI issues and I've told her about them, but only I know they're caused by restricting.)
6. I'm worried she didn't buy the GI issues thing so now I'm living in extra fear.
7. I'm leaving on Monday, and then I'll return in about a month to visit for Christmas.
8. I know my mother. If I'm thinner by then, she will be very alarmed and upset and take drastic measures relating to either the GI thing or the ED thing.
9. Whatever she does, it'll fuck up my relationship with her, my mental health, and any chance I have of getting my body to a point where I'm comfortable with it.
9. So in order to reach my goal, I have to put off doing it until after December. I have to maintain until then. After that I won't see her for several months, and I'm free to lose as much as I fucking want.
10. But I can't. stop. restricting.
All right, here come some paragraphs. I have so many thoughts flying around and I'm trying to distill them but it's hard ;_;
I don't want to maintain. It feels like failing. The thought of not losing makes me literally cry. I'm already feeling so much guilt for eating over 600. If I have to eat like 1400 or whatever the fuck my maintenance is, I'll want to kill myself. Plus, I tried eating 1200 for one day a couple weeks ago and I felt physically terrible. What foods would I eat? How can I make so many calories feel "worth it" but not get physically ill?
Could I allow myself to eat my favorite foods again? I'm literally crying now because I just don't know. I associate them with so much guilt that idk if I'd even enjoy them anymore.
But oh god, I want to. I'm so fucking hungry and now I'm crying because of that.
And here's another thing. Obviously if I'm going to stop losing for a while it would make sense to do it *now* while I'm with my family, so my mom will think I'm "normal" and stop worrying as much. But it's too scary because I can't count accurately when I'm with them. At least if I wait to start maintaining at home when I'm by myself, I can use my food scale for everything and feel safe. But here I can't do that. And at the same time, I'm kind of sad about waiting because my family makes/has food I wouldn't buy for myself and I feel like I'm missing out.
But I also need to keep restricting. I need it, you guys. I need it. I'm not even afraid of bingeing anymore. I'm just afraid of not losing as quickly as I potentially could be. I already wish I could be eating less than I am now. I wish so, so bad that I could fast and eat nothing at all, but I know my health would deteriorate so fucking quickly and I'm barely hanging on as it is.
I guess I didn't realize how bad things had gotten until I thought about trying to stop restricting. Last night I literally read the word "charities" as "calories" and I feel like I'm losing my fucking mind. But I feel like it'll be even worse if I stop restricting because it means I failed. And I'm already failing at so many things right now. I can't bear to fail at this too.
And here I wound up writing a novel anyway. I'm sorry. I don't even know what I want. Maybe I just need to vent. Maybe I'm looking for "permission" to stop restricting, as fucked up as that is. Maybe I just need a hug. I don't know. I just want all this stress to go away.
Anyway, thanks so much for taking the time to read this <3 I dearly appreciate all of you.
[Other] I don’t hate this photo of my legs yet
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 17BMI | -165 | 30F | AU]
Created: Wed Nov 22 09:26:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7es5i3/i_dont_hate_this_photo_of_my_legs_yet/
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https://i.redd.it/f8f2ouhizjzz.jpg
[Discussion] Vaping
/u/takayl
Created: Wed Nov 22 09:02:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eryou/vaping/
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I’ve never smoked or vaped before but I’m interested in buying a vape because I have serious oral fixation and a sweet tooth, so I’m hoping this could help with both of those things (and ideally help me restrict longer). Any recommendations for starter vape pens or favorite juices? And I can vape without tobacco, right?
[Discussion] Strange motivation?
/u/light_as_a_feather04 [5'6 | 108 | 17.4 | GW: 98| 34/F]
Created: Wed Nov 22 08:50:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ervnh/strange_motivation/
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So when my SO discovered how bad my ED really is, it motivated me to lose more. In my fucked up head I’m like “You think I’m sick now? Just wait!” Anyone else get this way? The more my mother or SO comment on my appearance, the more I want to show them how skeletal I can become.
Yesterday I complained that I don’t want to go to my sister’s Christmas party but the more I think about it, everyone is going to whisper about my appearance anyway, I may as well give them something to snicker about. Jesus my brain is fucked
[Other] Still drunk from best friends birthday lol
/u/fluffyfinaland
Created: Wed Nov 22 08:49:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7erv5x/still_drunk_from_best_friends_birthday_lol/
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So yesterday I didn't eat at all because I knew I was going out for my best friend's birthday and wanted to save my calories for drinking. Tried to pace myself since I knew I didn't have anything to absorb the alcohol, did okay and threw up (on purpose) when we got back to her apartment (yay!) but I woke up a little bit ago and I think I'm still drunk lmao... yay empty stomachs!
[Rant/Rave] Living in another country rant!!
/u/desde-siempre [5'3" | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 26F]
Created: Wed Nov 22 08:14:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7erm6u/living_in_another_country_rant/
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I just moved to Europe from the united states and everything food related is totally upside down for me. i just need to rant so bad. sorry if this is long and super random.
when i first came here i was at a really good weight and i knew i was going to have to adjust and tbh i was really excited to eat all the bread and drink all the wine etc but i've been here for a couple months now and i've put on a little bit of weight (eyeballing bc i don't have a scale but my clothes seem to be tighter) and basically ED thoughts have completely taken over my life.
first of all their nutrition facts are illegible to me. i have no idea how much of what i'm eating at any point.
also i live with 3 other people and we always have dinner together and i try to fit in and eat what they're eating but i feel like i'm completely out of control. like they eat bread WITH their rice??? and oil on literally everything?? beer every night fml
also one of my flatmates is a guy and he's been sexually harassing me since practically day 1 so i just want to starve myself to death so that he'll maybe leave me alone.
idk sorry for all this. but i feel so fucked up here. and of course i can't tell anyone any of this IRL because i've been "recovered" for 10 years 🤷♀️ just needed to get this off my chest
[Rant/Rave] Somehow forgot I had been fasting for 36 hours and had a large americano. Still shaking like a shitting dog after 8 hours. Is this normal?
/u/desaparecida [5'0" | CW:109lb | BMI: 20.0 | 25F]
Created: Wed Nov 22 07:33:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7erc01/somehow_forgot_i_had_been_fasting_for_36_hours/
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11:30 pm here.
My boss was in a very good mood after lunch (which I skipped) and treated us to coffee and cookies to shoot the shit. I downed my coffee in like 10 minutes and had 2 of those lotus caramel biscoff thingies.... Said goodbye to getting anything else done afterwards since I could barely focus let alone type properly. How normal is this? I would think it works the same as with alcohol.
Hope I can sleep tonight ☕
[Other] Ever feel bad because you could have tried harder to purge everything out but didn't? [TW!]
/u/yesyeshihello [157cm | CW: 42.4kg | BMI: 17.2 | 27F]
Created: Wed Nov 22 07:28:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eraqa/ever_feel_bad_because_you_could_have_tried_harder/
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Does the title even make sense?
I binged at lunchtime and while I wasn't planning on purging at all, towards the end of it I was starting to feel extremely full so I decided I'd get rid of it and ate some more and drank some coke.
So I came back into the office, left my bag and went to the bathroom with my lipstick, concealer and some mints. Tied my hair up, got down to business, and was super happy because everything came up smoothly and easily and I could identify what was coming up and all. But I mean, I'm at work, I couldn't stay there forever. So when I thought enough had come out I gave it one more go and finished.
But see the last couple of, hum, 'rounds', were the food I had first, which was rice and spinach? And while I know things don't come up in exact order, I feel like that wasn't ALL the rice and spinach I had.
And it should be fine because I wasn't even planning on purging to begin with, and I got all the "bad" stuff out which was a whole cake (yes i know i'm a monster) and a box full of cheesy bread roll thingies and two whole avocados, and what's wrong with having some rice and spinach left in the stomach anyway...
And I came back to the office like nothing happened and I was in the bathroom a whole 10 minutes which is very suspicious and should be enough but now I'm sitting here feeling like I should have stayed longer, risked getting caught, suffered to get a bit of spinach out of me. Makes no sense.
Do you guys go through the same?
[Discussion] Birthday plans (actually not about eating for once)
/u/skinnifat [5'4" | CW: 108 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 22 06:35:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eqyuk/birthday_plans_actually_not_about_eating_for_once/
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My birthday is Friday and I want to do something! I just don't know what :( I always get really sad on my birthday. But this year, I wanna have an actual day. I don't wanna just sit around all day thinking about food like I do every other day. I wanna go out. Maybe to a meusem or an aquarium. Idk. Something! What have you babes done on your birthdays??
[Discussion] Sometimes I actually DO do it for attention....
/u/vkomova [5'11 | ugh | ugh | ugh | F]
Created: Wed Nov 22 06:04:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eqs77/sometimes_i_actually_do_do_it_for_attention/
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I'm fasting right now with the hopes that I will faint or something in front of this guy I really like. I want him to worry about me and care about me. Passing out in front of him would be embarrassing for my rational side but very satisfying for my attention-starved crazy side.
Why am I like this lol
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 22, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Nov 22 05:11:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eqi51/daily_food_diary_november_22_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 22, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday November 22, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Nov 22 05:11:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eqi13/way_to_go_wednesday_november_22_2017/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for November 22, 2017.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Discussion] Does anyone else feel like an awareness of their calorie intake actually makes it harder to restrict?
/u/Elope
Created: Wed Nov 22 04:18:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eq8ci/does_anyone_else_feel_like_an_awareness_of_their/
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I feel like constantly having a number hanging over my head makes everything much worse - especially when I put it in relation to other metrics. For instance, it's 11am right now. I'm at 543 calories from two meals. I've been up since 7. Relatively normal.
But I'm panicking.
I'm panicking because I want to have a snack, and when I put the calories I'll be at after that next to the hours left in the day, I fear that I'm screwing myself. Even if the snack would make me feel full, the hours left in the day in relation to my calories remaining terrifies me. I could binge later. I might need those calories for something; there's too many hours in a day.
But the utility of satisfaction would probably outweigh the utility of a few extra calories.
I don't quite know if I've explained this right, but it's just something that I've noticed.
[Discussion] November 22nd, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 22 03:10:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7epwvm/november_22nd_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What are you trying to do?
Get a normal nights sleep for fucks sake. I am tired as literal fuck. It took me 10 tries to write that title. I don’t even know if it’s 22st or 22’d.
[Other] I’m faking all this (long post)
/u/unpollutedfantasy [🥒]
Created: Wed Nov 22 02:53:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eptyp/im_faking_all_this_long_post/
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(Sorry this is so long just had to get this off my chest)
I feel like I’m just making shit up
I’m not diagnosed with anything
I’ve always felt badly about my body like extreme anxiety, I walked out of a class that I was borderline failing to cry because I couldn’t stop thinking about my body fucking stupid. I digress
Only actually started trying to lose weight last October. My 2 friends were really into MyFitnessPal. I started tracking my calories realized I was eating just a tad too much. Became more aware about what I was eating.
I started going to the gym. My body started changing, dropped 20 pounds in a month & the shit I hated about my body looked less bad to me, still bad, but less bad. I decided that maybe if I get to and underweight BMI that all the problems I have with my body would be gone, which I don’t know, but I’m still trying to get there.
Got lazy with the gym, so I got the brilliant idea to just eat significantly less. Started lowering my calories lower and lower. And then purging appeared. Thanksgiving will be my 1 year anniversary with purging.
Even though what I do is not normal, a lot of times I just think of all this as diet. I feel more like I’m just using unorthodox methods to lose weight because I just wanted to hit my goal weight quick. (Even though it’s not been quick because I lose and gain and stay within the same 5-10 lbs)
Like this shit isn’t about control or all those reasons people have EDs, I literally just want to lose weight and that’s it.
All these behaviors that I have now are fake.
[Discussion] Skinny Gossip (warning: prob controversial)
/u/mildolconf [5'9" | 134.2 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 22 02:02:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eplch/skinny_gossip_warning_prob_controversial/
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Okay, don't get me wrong. I don't have an account and agree the site is problematic for so many reasons, BUT I lurk the forums and tbh it's almost refreshing that at least they don't pretend that you can normally look like certain models or celebs just by eating a healthy/normal number of cals & ~perky cheerleader voice~ *"exercise! :)"*
Just want to hear everyone else's thoughts! This is partly because of that Natalia Dyer thread on r/fatlogic and someone's preachy response to my comment (copying here):
Me: She probably didn't even eat the cone 😂
Rando user who probably misunderstood my comment/where I'm coming from:
"Given her size these are the more likely scenarios:
1. Eats icecream, works out like mad to workoff any excess calories from icecream.
2. Eats ice cream, compensates for excess calories from ice cream by restricting daily calories in other ways.
3. Eats ice cream. Vomits out icecream (icecream is favoured by bulimics because it's a really easy food item to throw up).
Either way, if you look at her size, she is definitely maintaining a very low daily calorie intake. Because much as fat ppl eat a lot to be fat, thin people eat very little to be thin. Basic laws of cico. You might lie to yourself, you might lie to the world, but your body can't lie. If you're not eating enough calories it's patently obvious"
[Goal] SOMEONE FINALLY NOTICED MY WEIGHTLOSS
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9" | GW: 150lbs | CW: 172lbs | BMI: 23 | 27F]
Created: Wed Nov 22 01:56:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7epkg0/someone_finally_noticed_my_weightloss/
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I am over the moon. I can't even. It makes it all worth it.
I haven't seen this person in maybe a month and we've transitioned from winter to summer so I'm no longer in puffy clothes.
Naturally I stuffed my face with pizza and ice cream to celebrate.
I've got to lose another 10kg (22lbs) and I feel I'll finally stop feeling hideous.
[Rant/Rave] I'm having trouble getting out of this all-or-nothing mentality.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW: 141.4 | UGW 105 | 25/F]
Created: Wed Nov 22 01:29:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7epg3x/im_having_trouble_getting_out_of_this/
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In my worst ED days, I never fasted. I may have b/p-ed all day and not eaten, but never really fasted. I didn't think I could. I ate around 500-1200 calories and exercised a fair amount. I lost at a consistent rate. I got to eat planned food and not worry about the calories in my toothpaste. I had plenty of ED thoughts, but restricting seemed normal enough to me.
Then I did a few fasts. My first fast was 3 days and it was because I was trapped in a place with no food (long story, but literally no food). I felt great after 3 days since my mind only focused on the possible number on the scale and not the fact I didn't have food. A fast for me is a reward and not a punishment.
Once I got a taste (heh) of fasting, I loved it. Look at me, I can go days without anything and be high as a kite naturally. I've always had digestive problems, so fasting quickly eased up my stomach issues and provided instant relief.
But then all I wanted to do was fast. It was easier when I lived on my own, but circumstances have put me under my family's roof for now. I just want to fast, but then I'll have a nibble of something to look normal. Then I'll decide I fucked up my fast and eat more than I should have. And now I can't even purge because my bathroom is broken and the only one working is in my mother's room. So purging is out once again. And it's better that way. Practically popped my eyeballs out yesterday trying to purge something that wouldn't come up.
I just need to stop *trying* to fast right now. I need to eat every day even though it's the last fucking thing I want to do. If I ate 500 cals every day for a week, it's still so much better than attempting a 5 days fast and ending with a binge.
I hate the feeling of food in me. I hate it. But it's better than the anxiety of feeling so dirty from a ~failed~ fast. I thought fasting would let me take my mind off food, but then I realized I have nothing else to think about. When I was restricting, I could occupy my time planning meals and calculating daily loss and all that shit.
I am allowed to eat. I have to eat. Even if it's virtually nothing but gummy bears or something stupid, I cannot let myself say 'fuck it all, I'll start tomorrow' anymore.
To make it all worse, my depression meds are ready to be picked up tomorrow and I don't have the money for them even though it's like $30. Withdrawal from them are shit and I'm stressing over it so much.
[Tip] An easy, low calorie (sugar free) cranberry sauce recipe for 🦃 day!
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Wed Nov 22 01:23:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7epf05/an_easy_low_calorie_sugar_free_cranberry_sauce/
---
-1 12-oz bag fresh cranberries (picked though for bad ones)
-3/4 cup water
-About * 3/4-1 cup of your favorite calorie-free sweetener to taste (sukrin-1, swerve, erythritol, Splenda, etc)
-1 spring of rosemary (this is my favorite) OR 2 cinnamon sticks
1-2 tsp finely grated orange zest
1) add cranberries, water, sweetener, and rosemary or cinnamon sticks to a pot. Bring to a simmer over high heat, then cover the pot and lower the heat to medium.
2) Continue to simmer for about 10 minutes until almost (or all) of the cranberries have popped.
3) Remove the rosemary or cinnamon, then stir in the orange zest. Adjust for more sweetener if needed. Let chill in the fridge for a few hours or overnight and then serve!
Yield: about 2 cups
1/6th of the recipe (about 1/3 cup) has 30 calories. So a small serving (about 1/6) only has 15 :)
*start with less unless you know you like super sweet sauce. Adjust the sugar amount AFTER the sauce is done cooking when the cranberries have popped—it becomes more tart after the cranberries all pop. Also, not all sweeteners are equally sweet
[Goal] I'VE REACHED MY FIRST GOAL WEIGHT
/u/little-paws
Created: Wed Nov 22 01:13:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7epd95/ive_reached_my_first_goal_weight/
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https://imgur.com/a/czIgL
I just wanted to break past the 130s and I've finally done it!
It's weird, I feel like the scale can't be right, even though I've been stuck at 131 for a week. Is it right?
This gives me so much motivation to fast now and restrict even more.
[Help] Post-Thanksgiving Help
/u/PM-ME-CORGIS
Created: Wed Nov 22 01:12:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7epd2y/postthanksgiving_help/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I can feel my fat crushing me
/u/fuckingilluminated
Created: Wed Nov 22 00:40:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ep7ta/i_can_feel_my_fat_crushing_me/
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DAE feel like they are being crushed by their own fat? Like, you lay down and all of the sudden you are so aware of your body and your fat and your stomach feels weird and you start to kinda panic?
I just want it all fucking gone.
[Rant/Rave] Fainted at work today
/u/blonde_sugar
Created: Wed Nov 22 00:09:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ep291/fainted_at_work_today/
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Literally blacked out and fell down in front of like ten other co workers. They called the medical emergency team ughh it was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. He was like you didn’t eat today did you. I was like well I normally eat at 4pm which is what I was about to do. He was like that’s a really late breakfast. Lol. Then he sat and watched me eat a piece of fruit that I had brought with me. I feel like they all secretly suspect I have disordered eating now. Fml. It came out of nowhere too.
[Help] Please help me lose weight )):
/u/tobe110
Created: Tue Nov 21 23:57:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eozyt/please_help_me_lose_weight/
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[removed]
[Other] Laxative tea at it again with its inspirational bullshit.
/u/dbt-girl
Created: Tue Nov 21 23:33:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eovlq/laxative_tea_at_it_again_with_its_inspirational/
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https://i.redd.it/i7ypzian1hzz.jpg
[Help] is it ok to donate blood?
/u/z4ynmalik [5'3 | CW: 111 | GW: 95 🌻]
Created: Tue Nov 21 23:24:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eou30/is_it_ok_to_donate_blood/
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I've always wanted to try it once. I'm always fluctuating between 105 and 110 but I'm afraid of fainting after. Would donating blood still be a good idea?
[Goal] Calorie goals?
/u/kailana12
Created: Tue Nov 21 23:11:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eorle/calorie_goals/
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Kind of interested in what everyone's calorie goals are. On one app I have it set to 800 per day, but on another app I have 1000 cause it's the lowest allowed. I used to aim for 400 calories a day
[Discussion] how to not binge on thanksgiving?!
/u/z4ynmalik [5'3 | CW: 111 | GW: 95 🌻]
Created: Tue Nov 21 23:08:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eor1g/how_to_not_binge_on_thanksgiving/
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turkey and gravy and mashed potatoes oh my!
WHOMST
/u/fractalviscera [5'4" | CW 105 | BMI 18.3 | 23f]
Created: Tue Nov 21 22:55:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eoods/whomst/
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https://i.redd.it/wnvtgc6xugzz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] The guy I like showed my nudes to his friends
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 21 22:53:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eont9/the_guy_i_like_showed_my_nudes_to_his_friends/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I lie to my parents that I ate so I don't have to eat and then I end up eating anyway and they get on me for overeating
/u/foghorn_willie
Created: Tue Nov 21 22:22:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eohlk/i_lie_to_my_parents_that_i_ate_so_i_dont_have_to/
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ahhhhhhhhh
[Goal] Reached LW and I've suddenly realised how out of control I am
/u/ceillman [5'6 | CW:123 | 19.2 | GW:116 | -17.6]
Created: Tue Nov 21 22:17:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eogis/reached_lw_and_ive_suddenly_realised_how_out_of/
---
Just reached my lowest weight since high school 55.5kg (123lb). I'm nearly 20lb down in the past 6 months and when I look in the mirror I feel more disgusting than ever.
When I saw the scales I wanted to cry because 12 months ago I'd be over the moon at this weight but here I am setting a new GW and planning my next fast. I almost hoped the scales were wrong because I don't want to get into the low 50s...but I just. can't. stop. losing.
[Tip] How to avoid the “You aren’t eating enough” pop-up in MyFitnessPal!
/u/i-want-to-be-little [5'2" | CW 114 | 21.93 | -31 | F/NB]
Created: Tue Nov 21 21:48:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eoalp/how_to_avoid_the_you_arent_eating_enough_popup_in/
---
So you know how MFP will bitch at you for eating under 1000 calories per day? It won’t do that if you log calories that you didn’t eat and log the same amount in exercise that you didn’t actually do! They cancel each other out in terms of net calories, but the warning pop-up is only triggered when your food intake is logged as below 1000.
If you log fake calories to get your logged total food intake to above 1000, and then log fake exercise calories to cancel it out in net calories, MFP will show your projected weight for your actual intake!
[Rant/Rave] Mom called me fatty
/u/ellezara
Created: Tue Nov 21 21:27:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eo68j/mom_called_me_fatty/
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Right as the title goes. She had a big platter of cookies we had bought for Thanksgiving and was walking towards me and my little 4 year old niece with them. She offered my niece one and I thought I was going to be next and I panicked and blurted “Why did you take those out?”
My mom said “Relax fatty, I’ll give you some too we’re not going to eat them all.” misinterpreting my panic as me wanting to have them all to myself.
And honestly... of course she would. Because that’s all people ever see me as, the fat girl. I just quietly walked into my room and started crying because if I say anything it’ll just get awkward and I’ll look like the bitch for “fighting” with my mom. She does this often, in fact this wasn’t even the first time today, I tripped earlier this morning walking out to the car and my mom said I looked like “a sack of potatoes”.
This is why I do it. Every single time I think i’m slipping and maybe this fucked up mindset is fading away, there’s another jab and I’m reminded of why I ever started in the first place.
I’m going on a liquid fast tomorrow just to make myself feel better and btw fuck Thanksgiving I’m restricting to 600 calories holiday or not, nobody will notice I’m not eating anyway, nobody cares they’ll probably be glad since I’m a fatty apparently
[Help] How to stop myself from bingeing?
/u/vctrlcs [5'6" | CW: 155.8 | GW: 130 | UGW: 115 | BMI: 25.1 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 21 20:50:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eny0z/how_to_stop_myself_from_bingeing/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] When I see people refuting that Natalia Dyer looks underweight...
/u/skinnysynth [5'3.25" | 113 lbs | 19.9 | -15 lbs | 🤖]
Created: Tue Nov 21 20:42:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7enwgs/when_i_see_people_refuting_that_natalia_dyer/
---
... it just makes me feel like nobody actually cares if I'm sick. That everyone is rooting for me and waiting for me to become visibly ill (more than now) so that I can look like a "normal woman". That in countries other than the US women looking like Natalia is "the norm" and that if anyone disagrees they're a fatty. That's what men want. They want women who are visibly ill, and they'll deny that they're actually ill because the "control" and "restraint" of a woman (as in, their ability to be manipulated and physical weakness) is what gets them off.
You know, fine. If that's what normal looks like, I'll fucking show you normal.
[Discussion] Basic question: what is the fastest/most efficient way you have lost weight?
/u/sadanna [5'4 | CW: 120 | a 20 y/o gay girl]
Created: Tue Nov 21 20:39:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7envn7/basic_question_what_is_the_fastestmost_efficient/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Not ED-related but you guys are nice and I need someone to make me get off my ass and start my coursework that I am handing in in 8 hours. D: O.o
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 21 20:35:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7enutb/not_edrelated_but_you_guys_are_nice_and_i_need/
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[deleted]
[Tip] This dish is a lifesaver and only 136 cal, recipe is in the comments
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 21 20:21:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7enrmo/this_dish_is_a_lifesaver_and_only_136_cal_recipe/
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https://i.redd.it/ah7zhl093gzz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] i'm taller than i thought and i'm seriously crisising over it. i'm so confused.
/u/seawardwaves [5'9" ✨ cw~124 gw~108]
Created: Tue Nov 21 20:04:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ennv4/im_taller_than_i_thought_and_im_seriously/
---
went to the doctors today. was so worried about making myself heavier (which worked, i was up five pounds thanks to water and my clothes).
but i didn't even think about my height. i've been five eight for a year. i don't like being tall; it took me a whole year to be ok with 5'8. but apparently i've grown another inch, i'm actually 5'9.
which. i know being taller technically makes my bmi lower. this should be a good thing, right? but it's really really messing with my head.
this morning i was 125, and that's with a few pounds of waterweight from sunday binging. even at 125 though, i'm technically underweight now bc of my height? but like, that can't be right. i look gross. i'm not thin, i'm bloated and thick and gross. my face is still fat. i guess i just have to keep going.
this is setting off my dysmorphia/dysphoria stuff so bad. i have no idea what i look like. i keep looking in the mirror, and each time my face and body are distorted differently.
i'm fucking broken.
[Rant/Rave] I don’t always drink but when I do, I overdo it and binge and send people embarrassing texts
/u/quoth_the_phoenix
Created: Tue Nov 21 20:01:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ennbh/i_dont_always_drink_but_when_i_do_i_overdo_it_and/
---
I’ve been good and dropping weight (17 pounds☺️) so I scheduled a binge tonight but still...the one thing that fucks me up more than food is booze
Idk what the point of this point is but comment if you want to chat about anything (I will listen to you vent) or if you relate to the shitshow that is my life
Y’all are the best ❤️ seriously I felt so alone and like such a freak before I came here. We may have issues but we are not alone
[Rant/Rave] I hate it when a restaurant fucks up and they try to make it better by giving me a more generous portion.
/u/dbt-girl
Created: Tue Nov 21 19:49:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7enkgs/i_hate_it_when_a_restaurant_fucks_up_and_they_try/
---
Like can you not?
Seriously, I went to The McD. I just wanted a cheap-ass McCafe. Because cheap. With tip, local coffee shop runs $6+ for a *small latte.* Fuck that.
So I order a small iced mocha. And it's $2, which speaks to my ratchet soul.
The guy gives me a drink. It's not mine. I let him know, and that it should be iced. They make another drink. Iced, and medium for good will. But It's still not what I ordered. So then they're like, "omg I'm so sorry," and make a **fucking large** and my mind is like, *nooooooo.*
And then it gets so bad. I drink the whole damn thing and panic. So I try to make up for it by eating a salad with protein. It doesn't make any of it better.
I tell myself not to purge, yet before I know it I'm in the shower, and the fucking drain instantly clogs. and not like surface-level, scrape it off clog. Like pipe clog. The bathtub is filling up with partially sinking, mostly floating vomit. And there are salad leaves mingling between my fucking toes. And I finally give up when the taste of fermenting lettuce just becomes too bad.
I have a headache and I seriously feel like crying my eyes out. I have such anxiety about how to "refeed" now. I am so starving but everything sounds like a terrible option.
All because The McD couldn't get their shit together and ended up giving me a large iced mocha, which I knew was terrible but drank anyway.
FML.
Food advice much appreciated because nothing sounds safe right now.
[Help] how long does it take you to shrink your stomach?
/u/moonolive
Created: Tue Nov 21 19:05:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ena91/how_long_does_it_take_you_to_shrink_your_stomach/
---
i've been binging and im trying to restrict for a while but the hunger pains have been bad. i cant remember how long it took my stomach to shrink the last time i restricted for a long period of time, but it certainly makes things easier.
[Other] I really want to make the DIY recovery group happen, but I don't think I can ;_;
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 132.5 lbs | 19.6 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 21 18:32:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7en2q5/i_really_want_to_make_the_diy_recovery_group/
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Because I myself am not ready to recover. I thought my recent relapse might just be a short phase, but I'm realizing that is not the case. I'm going through things I can't cope with healthily - AN is the only coping method that helps right now. I wish it were different, especially because I want to help all of you who are ready to recover. I wish it were different. But I don't think it's right for me to help others recover when I am not following my own advice.
[Rant/Rave] Exhausted by this anxiety around restricting
/u/Idunnoking [5’1 | CW98.8| GW95 | 16F✨]
Created: Tue Nov 21 18:21:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7en03u/exhausted_by_this_anxiety_around_restricting/
---
I love continuously telling myself I’ll eat at least 1000 cals because I’m becoming exhausted by every menial task but restricting to 200 cals all day because I fear that dinner will be huge and then dinner comes around and I eat minimal then realizing I’ll feel too guilty to actually eat enough to reach that goal afterwards and then feeling awful about myself :-(
Guys this sucks
Not to mention I can already see myself using small things occurring as justification for my bad eating habits (like successfully not eating when I’m hungry till a certain time being the reason for my favourite snack being available during lunch at school or me eating when I’m not actually hungry ‘causes’ me to drop objects/bump into things) I know it’s stupid but I can’t stop ugh
Edit: sorry for forgetting to flair. It’s a vent if u can’t tell
I found out today.....
/u/abbiyah
Created: Tue Nov 21 18:12:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7emxzs/i_found_out_today/
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That the treadmill restarts the timer after 100 minutes. 😂
Grandparents gave me $700 for food money.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 21 17:34:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7emorm/grandparents_gave_me_700_for_food_money/
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[deleted]
[Other] This somehow feels like a beautiful allegory for my life lmao
/u/PersephoneHazard [HW -53 | GW +47 | 🍑 PersephoneHazard]
Created: Tue Nov 21 17:03:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7emh5a/this_somehow_feels_like_a_beautiful_allegory_for/
---
https://imgur.com/nksq42w
[Rant/Rave] Almost too small to donate plasma!
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Tue Nov 21 16:44:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7emcnq/almost_too_small_to_donate_plasma/
---
I donate plasma every week and I was like 118 when I started and they warned me I couldn’t drop below 110.
I’ve been fasting a lot more than usual lately and drinking a lot so my weight keeps dropping (yay) and I just went to donate and I was 111.2!!!
That’s my lowest weight and they even warned me that I am getting too low!!
It sucks cause I’m prob really like 113 cause I’m dehydrated but oh well! I’ll take it.
Soon I’ll have to start wearing heavy clothes 😂😂
(I know I’m a mess guys I’m tryin to be safe I promise)
How much have any of you lost in 10 days? And by doing what?
/u/lotus_re
Created: Tue Nov 21 16:38:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7emb4e/how_much_have_any_of_you_lost_in_10_days_and_by/
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[removed]
Recovering!
/u/PrimaryGreen
Created: Tue Nov 21 16:03:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7em26r/recovering/
---
Y'all imsohappy
Im gonna try eating a proper ammount of food without counting calories and hopefully I'll be better soon. I know this is **pro** ed, but I'm guessing some of you have tried recovery and may have some tips? :^)
[Rant/Rave] I saw a therapist for my bulimia today...
/u/crackleplum [5'3.25" | 135.7 lbs | 24.3 | -24.3 lbs | Woman]
Created: Tue Nov 21 15:47:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ely5h/i_saw_a_therapist_for_my_bulimia_today/
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and it was literally terrible. She flinched every time she said the word eating disorder. It was through my school's health center so I didn't expect it to be great, but wow.
And she scheduled me again for next week.
[Discussion] DAE turn into a terrifying rage monster if someone interrupts their binge?
/u/fieryanxiety [5'7" | CW 124 | BMI 19.4 | HW 159 | GW 110]
Created: Tue Nov 21 15:39:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7elw26/dae_turn_into_a_terrifying_rage_monster_if/
---
My roommate came downstairs when I was in mid binge earlier and I had to slow down to look at least somewhat normal and I was so angry my brain was spinning like THE LONGER THIS TAKES THE MORE CALORIES I'LL ABSORB! So I was literally a stone cold bitch until he left the room. And then I proceeded to inhale the rest of my food like a fucking animal lol
[Rant/Rave] I have no control...
/u/artful_heart [5'7.5 | CW 103.2 | GW 92 | UGW 88 | BMI 15.81 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 21 15:36:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7elveb/i_have_no_control/
---
...when children offer me food. They give me the sweetest looks and my heart melts and I just graciously accept the food and thank them and eat it right in front of them (usually because they wait to make sure I'm gonna eat it, and tell them how delicious it is). I don't even really like most kids.
After two birthday parties at the art shop (cake and snacks) and the most charming seven year old ever offering me one of her mini chicken salad sandwiches (with mom's okay), I have consumed **670-something calories**.
*Motherf--cker.*
I was going to have a delicious salad with tuna and a low-cal Greek dressing for dinner, and now I can't. I'm already over my daily limit. Damn cute kids being sweet and not understanding eating disorders.
UGH. I just had to complain to people who will understand. Granted, I could refuse gently, but... I *caaaaaaaaaaan't*. [sobs]
[Other] After weeks of binging I love this message...
/u/Jerrabella
Created: Tue Nov 21 15:14:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7elpqy/after_weeks_of_binging_i_love_this_message/
---
http://imgur.com/oYSkEgS
[Rant/Rave] Tonight I Am Mostly freaking the fuck out
/u/PersephoneHazard [HW -53 | GW +47 | 🍑 PersephoneHazard]
Created: Tue Nov 21 15:12:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7elp50/tonight_i_am_mostly_freaking_the_fuck_out/
---
(I've posted way too much today, I know. Sorry, guys; I'll calm down soon, I promise. I'm just loving this sub now I've got properly involved and I'm having a really weird week.)
So on Monday I gave my therapist a food diary containing all my ED behaviours and every single thing I'd eaten since our last session, as well as a bunch of stuff about moods and feelings and shit. This was a *huge* deal for me: it was actually the first time in my whole life I've ever been 100% upfront and honest with another human about food and eating. Last week contained *several* binges (including one really really bad one) and a bunch of laxatives and all the rest, and - believe it or not, I hardly can - I literally straight up wrote down *everything I ate when I binged* and every single laxative and was totally honest and gave it to her.
It was a really hard session, but she was as amazing as always. (I love my therapist; I've struck super lucky in that department somehow.) She made a really clear point of telling me in so many words that she felt privileged that I was doing this, that she wasn't taking it lightly, that she wanted to treat the pages I'd given her with respect, that she understood what it meant and how hard it was for me. I could tell that she was watching her own words even more carefully than usual: at one point while reading it she said "there's a lot here, isn't there" and *immediately* clarified that she'd been referring to my emotional states and how unhappy I'd been so that I knew she wasn't talking about what I'd eaten. She was, in short, perfect. I'd gone into the session knowing that this was make or break: over the past six months or so we've built up a fantastic therapeutic relationship, but if she'd handled this any other way the truth is that would have been ruined for me for good.
The thing is, though, she only skim-read the diary during the session. She picked up on the feelings and we talked about those, but she didn't read fully all the food and everything. This was partly intentional (I think she was trying to ease me into it, which was exactly right) and partly just because I'm a loquacious sort of a person and it would have been super awkward and a waste of time for her to read every word while I sat there in silence waiting. So now I'm *freaking the fuck out* and I know it's stupid but I can't seem to stop.
I can't get over the sense that *nobody* could see all that and not think differently of me afterwards. By now she will have read it in much more depth - she said she'd look at it fully after the session was done - and she'll really, truly know every last awful humiliating disgusting detail. This is all compounded by the fact that she's French, and ever since I read this article (https://www.theguardian.com/society/2017/sep/10/gabrielle-deydier-fat-in-france-abuse-grossophobia-book-women) I've had a nagging (albeit totally unfounded) fear in the back of my mind that no matter how sound and amazing she is, some of what she grew up with and some of the socialisation she received must still be in there somewhere. I know logically that it isn't true, but I can't shake the notion that it *could* be.
Sorry for this wall of text, guys. I said I was loquacious ;-) I think I just wanted to get it all out somewhere to people who might understand. Thank you for reading it all if you got this far <3
[Help] This is such a noob question- but how can I make it seem like I’m eating without really eating much or at all around family?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 21 14:56:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7elkqa/this_is_such_a_noob_question_but_how_can_i_make/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7elkqa/this_is_such_a_noob_question_but_how_can_i_make/
[Rant/Rave] Crying because there were no chunks in my halo top fml
/u/UnrecoverableFuss [5'4 | GW 115 | CW 169 | HW/LW 198/98 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 21 14:55:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7elkju/crying_because_there_were_no_chunks_in_my_halo/
---
Not even kidding, I'm such a fucking slave to this BS. DAE get upset when they "waste" calories on something they thought would be good but turns out to be unsatisfying?
Had a bunch of social obligations all week and did SO FUCKING good eating only as much as I had to and no more and not eating otherwise. Finally I get to pick my dinner, obviously Halo Top, pick the Mochi Green Tea...
THERE IS NOT ONE FUCKING MOCHI CHUNK IN THE WHOLE CONTAINER. Fucking wasted 320 calories. Not sure when I'm going to get to eat something I actually want to eat again. Thanksgiving looms and fuck all of those foods/eating in front of people, tbh.
[Rant/Rave] Burts Bees peppermint flavor is amazing
/u/OMFGLDQ [👻5'3" | 92.8lbs | 16.89 | GW <90lbs | HW ~125lbs | 🍑omfgldq]
Created: Tue Nov 21 14:54:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7elk8t/burts_bees_peppermint_flavor_is_amazing/
---
I'm currently having a hard time with life. That usually means I end up puking, either from stress or purging (also stress? S U R P R I S E !) And my breath is awful right now and my roommate just said my peppermint breath was nice
[Help] It's my birthday...and I'm dreading dinner.
/u/littleloaudio [5'1" | CW 134 | GW 110 | -14 | 22f]
Created: Tue Nov 21 14:35:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7elf82/its_my_birthdayand_im_dreading_dinner/
---
In true birthday fashion, my parents are taking my SO and I out to dinner. And guess where? Applebees. And I'm so freaking nervous about it -- I don't want to end up crying in the bathroom over what I've eaten, not tonight.
What the fuck am I going to order? What's the lowest calorie item(s) I can get and not appear insane to my family and boyfriend???
pls help
In a mild panic, any chick-fil-a employees here?
/u/Rustlingjimmies87
Created: Tue Nov 21 14:25:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7elc5x/in_a_mild_panic_any_chickfila_employees_here/
---
I just had chick fil a with my folks and while trying to healthy got the grilled chicken nugget 4 count. I figured it would be less breading and stuff.
When I got mine it looked like it had been DRENCHED in a herbed butter. Any employees wanna chime in and tell me what was on my nuggets? The whole meal I was pissed cause what point does it make to get grilled when it comes out dunked in grease anyways? Is this standard? I can’t trust the nutrition facts online cause I feel like this isn’t the default serving. I wish I had taken a picture.
Sorry no tags or anything cause mobile
[Rant/Rave] Just found out my FWB got a job before me...
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 57.2 | 19.11/18.89 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 21 13:42:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7el0gu/just_found_out_my_fwb_got_a_job_before_me/
---
Guess who's having wine and pickles for dinner!
[Tip] An obvious but overlooked PSA on binging
/u/sick_lamb [57.4kg CW | 55kg GW]
Created: Tue Nov 21 13:39:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ekzlq/an_obvious_but_overlooked_psa_on_binging/
---
(Tip flair - on mobile) I binged on coconut rice last night, eating one huge mouthful before the last had gone down my throat. It got stuck halfway and I couldn't breathe or swallow or push it, and I struggled to make it to a tap. Remember to keep a big ol' glass of water with you. You don't want to be found to be killed by rice or other binge food 😖
[Rant/Rave] SWEATERS! (aka I love winter clothes; they hide my body)
/u/artful_heart [5'7.5 | CW 103.2 | GW 92 | UGW 88 | BMI 15.81 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 21 13:29:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ekwv8/sweaters_aka_i_love_winter_clothes_they_hide_my/
---
It's my favorite time of year because the majority of the clothing one wears hides my body. Summer is just so stressful - I have to worry about my stomach being perfectly flat or concave, how tight my butt is, and all of that. Come late Autumn and Winter, however, I get to bury myself in sweaters and scarves and long velvet skirts and maxi coats and and and and and...
I mean, it's also because I'm skinny and I'm *always* cold. Winter is tough, since I get **painfully** cold once the temperature drops below 65. But warm clothes help - and I get to not pay attention to what others might see.
They also help de-sexualize my body, which is a plus. I hate being stared at because some dude is wanking off in his head to my flesh. Fiance is the only one who gets to do that... but it's harder (pun not intended) for me to be "sexy" in Winter clothes, or so I feel. I love that.
And I'm pretty sure that I'm alone in this - I always hear that Winter clothes make people feel fat/fatter. Am I the only one who *loooooves* it?
[Other] [Other] tfw you get diagnosed with a medical condition and one of the symptoms is weight loss..
/u/garbagegrrl
Created: Tue Nov 21 13:18:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eku0m/other_tfw_you_get_diagnosed_with_a_medical/
---
On one hand it kinda sucks, on the other hand I don't wanna start my meds straight away so I can lose a bit more ... Will this lead to a relapse? Maybe, maybe not! Who knows! 😂
[Discussion] Do the people at your school know about your ED?
/u/digital2939
Created: Tue Nov 21 12:33:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ekhha/do_the_people_at_your_school_know_about_your_ed/
---
If so what's it like? Are they supportive? Do they talk about you behind your back and snicker? Or do they just ignore you? Just curious, no one at my school knows about mine.
[Help] has anyone tried rogaine for hairloss?
/u/SerialKillerBunny
Created: Tue Nov 21 12:07:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eka2a/has_anyone_tried_rogaine_for_hairloss/
---
my hair wont stop falling out and im freaking out over it. i tried everything. supplements, products, i even gained weight. nope. hair is still falling out.
a few weeks ago i read about rogaine and something called female pattern baldness. turns out minoxidil isnt some male hormone thing (dk why i thought it was, guess cause rogaine is always associated with men) and women can use it too.
has anyone tried it? what do you think? is it worth it? im going crazy.
[Help] What BMI were you at when your thighs felt skinnier?
/u/slowlydoesit1 [163cm | CW: 55.8 | GW1:48]
Created: Tue Nov 21 12:06:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ek9u9/what_bmi_were_you_at_when_your_thighs_felt/
---
I feel like regardless of losing over 10lb my thighs looks just as ginormous. I don’t do much exercise so it can’t even be like “it’s muscle”. Discouraged :/
[Other] "Study Finds Humans Crave Sweet Foods Because They’re Weak—They’re Weak And They’re Small" #EDthoughts
/u/missalligator [5'2" | 99 lb | GW: 90 | BMI 18.7]
Created: Tue Nov 21 11:31:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ejzq7/study_finds_humans_crave_sweet_foods_because/
---
https://www.theonion.com/study-finds-humans-crave-sweet-foods-because-they-re-we-1820636572
[Goal] made it into the 130s...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 21 11:24:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ejxvv/made_it_into_the_130s/
---
[deleted]
[Help] Can't break out of this oh-so-terrible binge cycle
/u/cyprusavenue76 [5'6.75" | CW 130 | 20.5 | GW 120]
Created: Tue Nov 21 11:04:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ejs47/cant_break_out_of_this_ohsoterrible_binge_cycle/
---
I got engaged in July, and since then I've spiraled into an out-of-control binge cycle. I should be happy (wedding, hooray?) but I'm just dreading the planning and attention. I binged every other day in the week leading up my wedding dress consultation, and I spent the whole appointment devastated that nothing fit me.
I refuse to update my flair because I've gained ten pounds, sigh. My ultimate goal is to lose 20 before my wedding in July. Last Thanksgiving I was at my all-time lowest weight and now I'm pushing what I consider my recent 'starting' weight.
Do you all have any advice on snapping out of a binge cycle? I can't go more than two/three days without an episode at the moment, and it honestly feels like it's ruining every aspect of my life. I keep hoping that I'll hit rock bottom or have a eureka moment, but that hasn't happened. If taking three back-to-back trips to McDonalds in one morning isn't rock bottom, I'm afraid of that it looks like.
[Discussion] Being skinny vs being sexy
/u/uforgan
Created: Tue Nov 21 10:54:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ejpbk/being_skinny_vs_being_sexy/
---
Hey all, I'm not sure how to add my stats to the side bar (I'm on mobile if that makes a difference) so for ref I'm 5'7 and 50-53 kg.
I woke up this morning around 3am and was struck with a new twist of dysmorphia. I'm well aware that I'm not logically fat, or even curvy, and that because of my small frame I'm not 'sexy'. I don't have ample boobs ass, only ample tummy and arm. It's bizarre, I don't know if I've ever wanted to gain weight but being the size I am has left me looking less developed than other women my age. Not sure how to feel about it :/
[Rant/Rave] chewing and spitting
/u/nchlaz [5'11 | 137 | 18.5 | -70 | M]
Created: Tue Nov 21 10:17:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ejewq/chewing_and_spitting/
---
jesus i hate that i do this.. i used to be mostly anorexic but food tastes so good.... i chew and spit all the time at work. at its worst sometimes i c/s a single carrot. i just spit into napkins and hope coworkers arent around.. its getting so gross i never thought i’d do something like this :/ and i keep wanting to say im recovered lol. and after that whole shift ill go home and get high and eat 2000 calories in an hour. nice
[Rant/Rave] What the fuck is wrong with me?
/u/light_as_a_feather04 [5'6 | 108 | 17.4 | GW: 98| 34/F]
Created: Tue Nov 21 10:14:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eje3b/what_the_fuck_is_wrong_with_me/
---
Definite Rant: Its the holidays- not my favorite time of year since my father died. My sister still loves all things dealing with the holidays. So she’s having a Christmas party and invited some old friends that we haven’t seen in a while. I immediately declined and made up a lame excuse. Why? Cuz I’m weird AF and the thought of people seeing me after a while is making me panic. Also, my sister has a 4 year old daughter and is pregnant with #2. The other people she invited also have multiple children - all of which are under 6 years old.., My son is 11 and will be with his father. I suffer from infertility and will never know the joy of having multiple children. I know I shouldn’t feel the way I do but I’m fucking jealous. It sucks and instead of people whispering about my weight and alcohol intake, I’d rather stay home.
Seriously- this disease is robbing me of all joy.
[Discussion] What food do you miss the most?
/u/LetzBeAn [5'5.5" | CW: 115 | GW: 90 | 25NB]
Created: Tue Nov 21 09:58:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ej9nl/what_food_do_you_miss_the_most/
---
Just another ~fun ED thing~ that we can't talk to anyone about IRL. What favorite food has your ED robbed you of? What food do you wish you can (still) enjoy without guilt?
Feel free to reminisce here about the good old times when we could still have our favorite food items and actually enjoy them.
[Rant/Rave] Birthdays suck
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 60.9 kg | BMI: 22.6 | -22.6 kg | 21F]
Created: Tue Nov 21 09:49:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ej7de/birthdays_suck/
---
This isn't really ED related but I need to vent so please bear with me.
So, my birthday is coming up ( 1. December) and I planned to go and play bowling with a few friends because it's fun and better than eating.
That doesn't sound so bad now does it? I thought so too...if it weren't for a friend who's deliberatly forgetting about me. She forgot my birthday last year and this year too. Or better said, she forgot the plans I made with her months ago and double booked me because her other friend has her birthday party on the same day.
Well this time it worked out because I'm "celebrating" at noon and the other friend in the evening but I'm still upset. I know her other friend asked her a week ago, I asked her in oktober and I'm still second place? And I've already been told "yeah but she asked first" a few times..first my ass. Stuff like this makes me feel very important...not. Sometimes I feel like she wouldn't even remember my birthday if I didn't invite her to something.
To make things worse she asked me what I wanted for a gift. Me not wanting anything told her "I don't need anything, but there's that book I need" it costs about 20 bucks so I thought it's a decent wish since her and her SO (whom I also invited) are both working and earning pretty good. The reply I got was: "ok I'll think if something"...why did you even ask in the first place about what I wanted if you plan on getting whatever anyway?
You probably wonder why I'm even friends with her...sometimes I wonder too. When we're together it's fine and we have fun but stuff like thst still hsppens all the time. I guess we "need" those friends too to appreciate the better ones.
[Rant/Rave] Being thin makes me feel safe
/u/clearandfull
Created: Tue Nov 21 08:43:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eipjk/being_thin_makes_me_feel_safe/
---
Not sure where this came from, but had a revelation yesterday.
I have a general feeling of lack of stability in the world - like I am not supported by the universe. I think this generally makes me feel unsafe. Not unsafe in day to day moments or even related to my health, just generally.
Why? I have money, a significant other, my parents are still alive.
Being thin - underweight - makes me feel safe. Even though EVERYONE is worried, NO ONE says I look good, and many of my relationships have been irreperably damaged - being an objectively TOO LOW weight still makes me feel a bit more safe. I am willing to go to great lengths to secure that feeling of safety (lie, cheat, steal... kind of... at least the first two.)
Now that I am typing it out, it doesn't sound so *relevatory* after all. It sounds kind of common for disordered eating, actually. Does anyone else feel this way?
And for those of you out there who have dabbled in recovery, how did you find another way to feel safe?
I suppose I'll feel slightly silly if I just described textbook anxiety. No one should wait until 29 for therapy.
[Rant/Rave] (Trigger warning) If you knew something was killing you...
/u/purgantpigeon
Created: Tue Nov 21 07:22:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ei5qy/trigger_warning_if_you_knew_something_was_killing/
---
Would you stop?
I feel like in holidays already. Because i feel so dead, not wanting to do anything
I've accomplished NOTHING, two days in a row i've stayed home binging and hating myself, and then purging and binging some more. The scale at the pharmacy read 57kg dead on and this time it was for real.
I was once lighter. I was once skinnier.
I can make myself go back.
At least if i want to...
But do i want to?
Whats the point of daily hurting myself with thoughts of getting fatter and wishes of getting skinnier, whats the point of obsessing with a number and bags of fat only i give a shit about? Whats the point of having a loving mother, loving boyfriend, loving friends, if i just turn my head around because im too fixated with this?
What IS this, by the way? Im on the normal weight range, i'd appear normal to anyone who hasnt noticed how much time i spend on the bathroom.
Im always saying, "this will be the last time. I cant get myself fatter. I cant." but why do i feel like it would be the end of the world? Why does it fixate me further and make things worse?
I cant stop. I cant go back to feeling happy restricting, its just miserable. Even if all food i take is mildly ok in taste, i cant avoid it. I NEED a fix. Or, do i need to be fixed?
Countless hours spent in front of the computer reading resources, watching videos with beautiful people in recovery, all telling me NOT to do this, telling me how much im permanently damaging my body, telling me how bad it is to let it control yourself.
But then again, the first thing i think of in the morning is whether i'll be able to control myself. how fat i am and how useless i am, how instead of trying to fix myself im only making things worse.
I know the drill. I am sad, and then i eat to numb myself, to keep my head from attacking me, and then i see the empty packages and i feel how full my stomach is and thinking about the calories just makes me wanna tear myself up. And then im sad again.
My jaws, my teeth, my head. It all hurt nonstop this weekend and only i know why.
The only times i feel content with myself is when my stomach gets lighter, and i look in the mirror and see my bloated cheeks, that suspicious substance my chin, my running nose, my teary red swollen eyes looking straight into my soul with a "well done" carved in that crooked smile as i reach for yet more water. I go back and crouch in front of the toilet.
Today was the first time i purged without really wanting to. I didnt want to do it, but i made myself. I cried because of the angst. I cried hard, because i really did NOT want to do it... But something inside forced me to. Forced me. Thats when i realized this isnt just "something I do". Its not a concious choice anymore.
If you knew something was killing you, would you stop?
[Help] EC stack (I know lol)
/u/featherboyy [FtM/5"7.5/CW:225/SW/250/GW/125]
Created: Tue Nov 21 07:14:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ei3qh/ec_stack_i_know_lol/
---
I've been taking an EC stack (1 bronkaid and either one cup of coffee or a monster) for two days now. I've noticed I'm a LOT more relaxed, happier and way more mental clarity. Supposedly if you don't feel energized you might have ADHD, which I could believe considering my mom has it. I also have asthma and I take Zoloft if that helps any. Has anyone else had the same experience?
[Other] Last post here - time to recover
/u/bethanl [5'3 37.6kg 14.7 BMI ]
Created: Tue Nov 21 06:58:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ehzz3/last_post_here_time_to_recover/
---
I hit a real low this week. I dropped to a new low of BMI 14.7, like I thought I always wanted. I also became too weak to carry on the job I love, became too ill to ski like I planned this Christmas, and broke the hearts of my lovely partner and family a little bit more.
Today is the day I say no more. I'm moving back home with my parents full time for a while to focus on recovery, and I'll come back the partner my boyfriend deserves. I'll be as strong as a 23 year old should be, and go out for meals and drinks with friends again, and enjoy it. I'm going to claw back everything this nightmare disease took from me, no matter how many lies it screams along the way.
If these words speak to anyone else, recovered or considering it, hit me up and we'll support each other together. I can't look back on a life I didn't live.
Love to all you brave and beautiful girls Xxx
[Rant/Rave] |Advice/Rant| I could use some support today
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |104 | -116 | 20A]
Created: Tue Nov 21 06:42:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ehwls/advicerant_i_could_use_some_support_today/
---
Yesterday I ate 1250 calories.
I finished my nightly snack and thought to myself, 'have another serving of chips and a glass of your old favorite lemonade tea if you can stomach it. Challenge yourself to reach maintenance calories today.' So I poured another small helping of chips, just 180 extra cals on top of 42 for the tea.
Less than halfway through the bowl I wanted to stop and put them away. The salt was burning my tongue and the roof of my mouth, drinking the tea felt like sipping thick syrup, every crunch i made reverberated in my skull. But I pushed through it and finished the whole bowl and glass.
Big mistake.
Immediately tears well up in my eyes. My stomach extends a good three inches and I feel extremely nauseous and bloated. It takes almost two hours for me to deal with the fact that I've almost eaten maintenance calories. God forbid I do such a horrible thing when I'm planning on eating out later this week right!? 🙄
I devised a meal plan to reactively restrict that doesn't exceed 800 cals to compensate for a fuckin bowl of chips and a small glass of tea.
The thing is, I don't *want* to restrict. I mean, ofc I do, but I shouldn't. I didn't even reach maintenance, I have a deficit from Sunday, reasonably it doesn't make sense, I know this. But I'm soooo fucking compelled to 'right' the wrong of eating a little more last night that I'm worried I won't be able to push through.
There will be no progress without discomfort, growing pains are real. And sometimes a bowl of chips is a boulder on your back that you have to carry up and down the mountain for what feels like an eternity....
[Discussion] November 21st, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 21 06:40:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ehw6f/november_21st_2017_question_of_the_day/
---
What are your favorite shoes?
[Other] PSA on mustard and splenda (more?)
/u/angelweight
Created: Tue Nov 21 06:29:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ehtus/psa_on_mustard_and_splenda_more/
---
I'd heard about this before but never looked into it until now.
Turns out the FDA allows manufacturers to label foods 'zero calorie' if it has less than five calories per serving.
So zero cal mustard actually has 3 cals per serving (one teaspoon)- and who uses just 1 teaspoon!! I often make dressings with mustard and splenda using at least three TABLEspoons or more. And splenda packets actually have 4 cals per packet. So my 'zero cal' dressing is at least 40 calories.
At this point the only 'zero cal' food I'm going to trust is water!!
on mobile can't flair sry!
[Discussion] Sodium?
/u/DeftHeathen [5'9 | CW 208 | UGW 120 | WL 18 | BMI 30.7]
Created: Tue Nov 21 05:45:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ehl05/sodium/
---
Hey,
So I just realised one of my "safe" foods has 4000mg sodium for every 100cal portion of it. I eat this food as a meal maybe once or twice a week.
Other than the risk of high blood pressure (more common in the over 40s anyway) and the fact it can make you bloat/retain water weight, are there any other effects I can expect that might impact on my weight loss? MFP says that anything over 2000mg a day is bad sodium.
I really love this food (doritos salsa) so I don't want to have to cut it out completely :(
[Rant/Rave] Turns out the 200 calorie food I've been eating is actually 400 calories :')
/u/GingerStark [5'9.3" | 20.2 | CW : 138 | GW : 120 | UGW : 110 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 21 05:27:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ehheq/turns_out_the_200_calorie_food_ive_been_eating_is/
---
I want to cry so bad.Please kill me now :).
[Rant/Rave] Started a Fast as a Challenge to my Brother...
/u/kvikerdragen [5'6.5" | 21F | CW 117.0 | GW 111 | HW 182]
Created: Tue Nov 21 05:19:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ehg2g/started_a_fast_as_a_challenge_to_my_brother/
---
Because I'm a healthy and balanced person, I often do things to prompt others to call me out on my disordered behavior.
No I don't know why.
Anyway, yesterday I expressed to my brother (Who I live with) that I could be such and such weight if I fasted until Thanksgiving. His response was "That's healthy" (In a sort of uncomfortable, sarcastic tone).
Then, at dinner (Pancakes... a shitty dinner + I hate pancakes) I didn't set out a plate for myself. He asked what I was eating, I said I wasn't. He let me.
So I guess I'm actually going to fast until Thanksgiving because nobody cares how I behave anyway.
Hooray.
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday November 21, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Nov 21 05:10:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eheer/thinspo_tuesday_november_21_2017/
---
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 21, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Nov 21 05:10:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ehee1/daily_food_diary_november_21_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 21, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
How am I gaining weight?
/u/Dumbledickhead [5'5 | CW 119 lbs | GW 90 lbs]
Created: Tue Nov 21 04:53:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ehb3y/how_am_i_gaining_weight/
---
[removed]
[Tip] Hot tip: scroll through r/watchpeopledie until you feel too nauseated to eat
/u/EmmelieDeStrange [5'6 | CW 136 | BMI 21 | GW 121]
Created: Tue Nov 21 03:59:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eh1rq/hot_tip_scroll_through_rwatchpeopledie_until_you/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Musicians that struggled with eating disorders?
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | 120.3 | 19.4 | 13.4kg | 27.7-]
Created: Tue Nov 21 03:43:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7egza9/musicians_that_struggled_with_eating_disorders/
---
The ones that come to mind for me are Richey Edwards(manic street preachers) Demi Lovato and Fiona Apple. Any more or do I have it pretty much covered?
~~please i need someone to obsess over~~
[Discussion] What are your restriction day rules?
/u/PersephoneHazard [HW -60 | GW +40 | 🍑 PersephoneHazard]
Created: Tue Nov 21 03:26:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7egwkm/what_are_your_restriction_day_rules/
---
I'm very clear in my mind on what my fasting day rules are (unlimited zero calorie drinks, tea with soya milk and sugar free mints; nothing else) and on what my binge day rules are (purge if possible and always take laxatives before going to bed), but I've never had such a solid idea of what my restriction day rules should be. ATM I'm contemplating 'three clearly-defined meals, no snacks, chew/spit where possible, stay under 1000 calories total' but I'm still somehow unsure.
What do yours look like?
[Discussion] Naturally skinny people are gonna be the death of me
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | 120.3 | 19.4 | 13.4kg | 27.7-]
Created: Tue Nov 21 03:23:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7egw4c/naturally_skinny_people_are_gonna_be_the_death_of/
---
So if any of you have been following me for a while, you'll know I live at an institution in the weekends. Okay, so a new girl transferred here. She got my old room, but it's chill, my new one's alright.
So the first thing my ED-centered brain notice about her is, she is THIN. Like anorexia-thin. BMI 13-14 I'd estimate. So I begin watching her(don't judge me) and it doesn't take long to figure out how she maintains that.
She sleeps all the time. Like I'm talking 18-20 hours a day, I've never seen anything quite like it. As someone who has the next day's sleep ruined if I as much as touch over eight hours, she has me baffled.
It's like she doesn't get hungry at all. The adults have to drag her out to have a meal and she never eats it, often she asks to have a donut/slice of cake instead. Why can't I lose weight because I only eat two slices of cake a day?
What's the weirdest cases of natural skinnies y'all have come across? Because this one takes the cake. I want to be a compulsive sleeper :(
[Other] Maybe you guys will appreciate this
/u/Eviesa
Created: Tue Nov 21 02:00:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7egiw1/maybe_you_guys_will_appreciate_this/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tt0OByKSLxM&feature=youtu.be
[Help] Scales?
/u/Throwitthefuckawaaay
Created: Tue Nov 21 01:39:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7egfnq/scales/
---
I didn't let myself own a scale for a long time but I guess I'm starting to lose it not having one. Does anyone have a scale that records weight to your phone or something and is accurate? I don't really have that much money right now and am kind of paranoid I'd buy a shitty inaccurate one and not be able to replace it
thanks <3
The 3-Day Soup Cleanse: Eat as Much Soup as You Want And Fight Inflammation, Belly Fat And Disease
/u/Nikole6548
Created: Tue Nov 21 01:09:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7egb0q/the_3day_soup_cleanse_eat_as_much_soup_as_you/
---
https://www.dailywomenswellness.com/3-day-soup-cleanse-eat-much-soup-want-fight-inflammation-belly-fat-disease-2/
[Intro] And here I am again.
/u/alovelytime
Created: Tue Nov 21 00:52:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eg89o/and_here_i_am_again/
---
I reached a point in my life where I thought I needed help. I was wrecking my body and it was making life just so much more complicated. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and was prescribed venlaflaxin. I tried my best to avoid saying the words "eating disorder" when at the office but explained it to my doctor as best as I could and I think they got the picture.
For a couple months now, I have been doing amazingly well but suddenly I met this boy.
It had been years since the last time I actually felt something more than lust for another person. I admit I let myself fall too easily but I should preface this by saying that I was raped my freshman year of university and it totally fucked up everything I ever felt for men. I honestly blocked my emotions for so long that when I finally reached a point where I felt like I could open up again to another male, things went a different route. He did nothing wrong, I think I am just too socially stunted to make things have gone the way they should have.
For a while our mutual friend was telling me that he liked me and showing me the messages he sent him. I just thought to myself that if he actually thought that he would just say it to my face. Every time we were face to face he acted normal and almost not interested so I felt like they were playing me. Like this was all some joke. But then a week ago, my crush tells me how he is taking a trip with "just some chick" to colorado. I don't push the conversation because really it was non of my business and I was afraid my jealousy would show through. Then the day before his big trip, it's the three of us talking and he says something to the effect of "idk if i should go i might just stay" and then looks at me, like he wanted me to say don't go.
I didn't say anything and later on our mutual friend explains to me that my crush had met some girl online and he was driving out to meet her for the first time, and apparently they hit it off.
During this whole situation, I knew their was something they were not telling me (they're best friends) and it was causing me so much insecurity that it was slowly making me retract into old habits. I hit my lowest weight ever but it is still not enough.
So here I am, thinking that if I had just been skinnier maybe things could have gone differently. If I just lose 5 more pounds, maybe he would have picked me and chose to stay.
Reality is, that is not how this works. All I needed to do was let him know how I feel but I can't even do that.
At this point it is not about wanting to be thin, but about wanting to disappear.
I just cannot seem to function normally in society and it scares me to think that I might be alone for the rest of my life because of this trauma I'm living with.
I'm sorry this is so long but I felt like this was the only place I could truly be honest and vent. I have honestly never reached a point like this with my disordered eating until now. It's like something finally snapped within me.
[Goal] 20lb down! 😻😻
/u/IttyBittyBatty [5'5" | CW 😱 | -20.2lb | F]
Created: Tue Nov 21 00:26:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eg430/20lb_down/
---
https://imgur.com/naYnUVW
[Rant/Rave] Dentist went well
/u/unpollutedfantasy [🥒]
Created: Mon Nov 20 23:40:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7efw3p/dentist_went_well/
---
Posted yesterday about my dentist appointment that I was nervous for, but it went well. Did not mention the purging because telling anyone is terrifying to me.
I do need 4 more appointments to get my cavities filled, but they were cavities I had from before, so my teeth are not worse than last time. Very relieved.
Just going to at least keep up seeing the dentist regularly because I’m the past I’ve gone years without seeing the dentist.
[Help] I need to stop purging.
/u/mindover_madness [5'4'' | 118.2 | 20.65 | -22 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 20 23:19:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7efs77/i_need_to_stop_purging/
---
I am in a really awful way and I can't get out of the purging hell hole. None of my old tricks (using a days since app, smoking cigarettes to get smelly fingers, painting my nails, making a pretty tracking journal, etc) are working and my body is so fucked it's obscene.
I know my two main barriers are the fact that I am absolutely petrified at the notion of the scale going up and I am a completely nonfunctional human when I am full. Lately, I have been having issues with my stomach and even small amounts of certain foods make me very full. As a result I've been in that awful cycle of eating, fearing fullness/weight gain, purging, then eating a bit because I know I need to eat a bit, then going through it all over again.
Does anybody have any suggestions or ideas? I am so desperate to stop and I feel so defeated and unwell.
[Rant/Rave] Why is food always used as gifts??
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | CW 160.2 | 25.96 | -.9 | GW 128 | 22F]
Created: Mon Nov 20 22:01:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7efcuo/why_is_food_always_used_as_gifts/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Healthy munchies?
/u/z4ynmalik [5'3 | CW: 111 | GW: 95 🌻]
Created: Mon Nov 20 21:45:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ef9i6/healthy_munchies/
---
How do you not binge eat junk food? I feel like eating everything in my house.
[Discussion] Can I go to the doctors alone?
/u/coffeebean27
Created: Mon Nov 20 21:38:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ef880/can_i_go_to_the_doctors_alone/
---
Lately I’ve been restricting (700 calories) while still working out and I think it’s hitting me hard. I’ve been so cold and having chest pains. I’ve had problems with my anemia before but this time it hasn’t gone away. I want to go to the doctors and make sure my iron/sugar levels are fine but I don’t want my mom to go. I’m in California and am 17 (almost 18). Would I need a parent to go with my to my physician and without her finding out?
This guys job is to point out “flaws” in beautiful girls bodies
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 20 21:25:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ef5o3/this_guys_job_is_to_point_out_flaws_in_beautiful/
---
https://youtu.be/r1DC_s9KOig
[Rant/Rave] I hate restaurants
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 20 21:16:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ef3mt/i_hate_restaurants/
---
[deleted]
Lowest weight
/u/bagelzyumersz
Created: Mon Nov 20 21:15:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ef3l1/lowest_weight/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Going back to hardcore restricting and I'll be posting here more often
/u/pieceofegg
Created: Mon Nov 20 20:58:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eezse/going_back_to_hardcore_restricting_and_ill_be/
---
I posted here a couple days ago about being on a middle ground with food. Wasn't sure if I was going to keep restricting and fasting. Well, I've made my decision to keep going. Posting here, along with a few other measures, will hold me accountable for my eating habits. I also made a sticky note on my desktop that says "number of days without a binge". I get to mark it every day I stick to my plans. I guess that's a bit of a tip.
Wish me luck! Going back to 500 cals a day.
[Rant/Rave] I just broke an accidental 32 hour fast with some Cane's
/u/oxygens_overrated [5'4|HW:150|CW:147|LW:113|GW:125 |F| ]
Created: Mon Nov 20 20:35:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eeuv9/i_just_broke_an_accidental_32_hour_fast_with_some/
---
I was sitting on the couch with my boyfriend studying for finals, when my stomach made the loudest, ugliest, velociraptor-like shriek. And while he gawked at me in silence, I pretended I didn't notice and continued watching Friends LOL. He inevitably asked when's the last time I ate was and after a moment of thinking I realized I literally, unintentionally fasted for 32 hours. I was so excited and proud of myself because I've never really had the willpower to fast before. Well apparently my delayed response gave me away because my boyfriend hugged me and told me all these things like, " I'd think you're beautiful even if you were 200 pounds" and "no matter what size you are, I will always love you". Of course, because I'm a little baby, I cried haha. Then after running some errands he took me to Cane's and held my hand while I ate half of my meal, and he didn't even pressure me to eat the rest. It's moments like these that I really don't feel like I deserve him :'(
[Rant/Rave] When your uncle won't stop making fun of your calorie counting
/u/brita09234890235 [vora: brita | bmi 21.3]
Created: Mon Nov 20 20:27:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eet2r/when_your_uncle_wont_stop_making_fun_of_your/
---
I need to rant because everyone else in my family thinks my uncle is a laid back guy, with the occasional quirk. But he drives me crazy. My uncle is ALWAYS mocking me and the way I count calories. He'll be over at our place, and I'll be weighing a bowl of strawberries, and he'll say some stupid shit like "Whoa are you sure you can eat that? That's 25.5 calories in EACH strawberry!"
HAHAHAHA shut the fuck up. He does this all the time. I laughed it off the first few hundred times he did it, but it's getting so fucking old now. Get some new jokes jfc.
It sounds like he's just being a joking, fun-loving uncle, but the way he says it (like a mocking tone) and the hand gesture he does along with it (the tiny bit hand thing) drives me up the fucking wall. First it was just in front of me that he'd do it, and then my mother and brother, and now he does it even when we have other family and friends over. We'll all be sitting around eating, and he'll have to comment on how many calories I'M eating, or how small MY plate is compared to everyone else's, and everyone will just either chuckle or ignore him. Don't you see that no one finds this funny but you?
And then he does the whole "calories from an apple are HEALTHY calories vs. a big mac" like yeah that's why you're so obese that your own back can't handle your weight. I hate this man. I don't feel guilty for saying it. I wish he didn't visit us anymore. blaaaaah rant over. sorry i just had to get this off my chest.
[Discussion] Has anyone else gotten overly, and embarrassingly drunk from drinking on an empty stomach?
/u/vitalogy95
Created: Mon Nov 20 20:18:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eer3d/has_anyone_else_gotten_overly_and_embarrassingly/
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I did this the other night, not thinking, and I paid for it big time.
I was blacked out within an hour and made a fool of myself. I drunk messaged all the wrong people - including my boyfriends dad - asking for a ride home, even though the plan was always for me to sleep at my friends. His dad ended up calling my sleeping boyfriend to go get me. I was an hour away. So dumb.
I’ve blacked out plenty of times before but this happened SO fast because of my empty stomach. And I’m mortified. Makes me feel so useless. Plus I consumed all those calories and didn’t even have fun.
[Rant/Rave] Constantly assblasted about how many calories are in any single edible thing
/u/iloveitosusumu [5'9 | CW160 | GW120 | BMI23.20 | 20F]
Created: Mon Nov 20 20:15:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eeqg7/constantly_assblasted_about_how_many_calories_are/
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[removed]
You guys all seriously inspire me.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 20 20:12:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eept6/you_guys_all_seriously_inspire_me/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eept6/you_guys_all_seriously_inspire_me/
[Rant/Rave] Anyone track their weight in a cool way like this
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 18BMI | -165 | 30F | AU]
Created: Mon Nov 20 20:04:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eenyr/anyone_track_their_weight_in_a_cool_way_like_this/
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https://i.redd.it/mgpdhe0dv8zz.png
[Rant/Rave] Binged again
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 20 19:22:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eeebf/binged_again/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I hate people commenting on my food and eating
/u/clementinecutie1
Created: Mon Nov 20 18:52:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ee7ci/i_hate_people_commenting_on_my_food_and_eating/
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For some reason everyone in my entire family treats me like I have anorexia, which I definetly do not have, and they're constantly trying to get me to eat more and more, which is horrible because I'm pretty sure I already have binge eating disorder. If I say I'm not hungry or don't want something they get mad at me and keep trying to force me to eat. I always have to eat even when I don't want to just to prove that I am eating, which I hate because I binge literally everyday. This is the same kind of thing that got me fat in the first place. I don't know why, but my family just WANTS me to be fat. We had a pie for the family to share today and I said that I didn't want any, because I hate pie. But then my mom basically forced me to have a piece, and then everyone started commenting and asking why I was even eating it if I don't like pie and then my mom brought me a bunch of candy to eat because apparently pie wasn't enough, so of course I ate all of that too and I feel so fat and guilty and I hate this. Everytime people try to get me to eat more I want to eat less. I seriously wish they'd stop commenting on what I'm eating all the time.
[Help] Visiting family who know everything
/u/mindover_madness [5'4'' | 118.2 | 20.65 | -22 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 20 18:49:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ee6qm/visiting_family_who_know_everything/
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I've been away for half a year on a project and I'm visiting family next month for the holidays. I'm not down that much weight, maybe about 10 pounds, but I've gotten a fair amount of comments about the noticeable difference lately. I know my folks will pick up on it and they know everything. I was diagnosed/hospitalized at 15 and they did the method of treatment where your parents refeed you when I was discharged, so we've quite literally been to hell and back together.
I'm terrified for how it's gonna go down when they see me. I love my parents so much and the last thing I want to do is cause them pain. What the heck do I say?
[Rant/Rave] As successful an outcome as possible for a binge, I suppose
/u/ExtraQueerrestrial
Created: Mon Nov 20 18:45:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ee5ni/as_successful_an_outcome_as_possible_for_a_binge/
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I got to work this morning and instead of eating the breakfast I brought, ate a muffin. This triggered a binge of the muffin, some cookie dough, a small pastry, the breakfast I brought plus some nuts and chocolate chips mixed in.
UGH.
However, somehow, magically...I stopped. Usually when I binge in the morning I'm still hungry later and end up eating over my calories because it's like binge+dinner+snack.
I wasn't hungry all day! It's a fucking miracle! I ate dinner to make sure I don't wake up starving and binge first thing tomorrow but someway somehow by my calorie log I am still under my daily allotment and my macros are good (???). Wtf?
Still pissed at myself for eating sugar, which I'd been detoxed from, but I think if I don't continue eating sugar it shouldn't be a problem 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻
[Rant/Rave] Hit a Plateau
/u/PsychoticPangolin [ SW 150 | CW 110 | GW 90 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 20 18:40:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ee4m0/hit_a_plateau/
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[removed]
[Discussion] The Victoria's Secret Show
/u/lavenderbruises [5'9"|CW 109| GW 100| BMI 15.87| 19F]
Created: Mon Nov 20 18:35:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ee3fp/the_victorias_secret_show/
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I'm really into models and the fashion industry so naturally, I've been keeping up with this year's VSFS. I've been looking at all the models' IG stories and pictures and they are all so beautiful and skinny and toned and perfect. Especially Elsa Hosk. My God, how do we even belong to the same species??
I guess I could TECHNICALLY get VS-worthy body if I really tried (i.e. lost 10 pounds), but there's nothing that can be done for my face.
Oh to be beautiful
[Rant/Rave] Uh, whoops, I disappeared for a bit...
/u/artful_heart [5'7.5 | CW 103.2 | GW 92 | UGW 88 | BMI 15.81 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 20 18:27:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ee1kd/uh_whoops_i_disappeared_for_a_bit/
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So things have been quite hectic lately. I'm now the Director of Events for a nonprofit foundation (I planned the Launch party and it went really, really well!), running the art shop I've been working at - and we'll be opening a second location sometime next year, which I'll also be in charge of - as well as spending the last week buried in the book I wrote that's going to be available (shameless self plug: in Kindle and paperback!) in just a few weeks (I haaaaaaaaaaaaate formatting), slowly working on wedding planning, and fighting a case of laryngitis (a fight that I've lost; I sound like a dog's squeaky toy right now). Also, fiance wants to start an event planning company with me next year, so we've been working on planning the branding and researching the untapped niches in the area...
That all hasn't left a lot of time to be online. But I'm back!
...and I'm FIVE POUNDS HEAVIER. 105 lbs now. Motherf---cker. Welp, time to get back on the wagon. I was planning on being 98 lbs by Halloween and failed miserably, binged today (okay, I ate a normal-person amount of food), and have to take my author photo for my book, like, next week and feel waaaaaay too fat to do so.
So, uh, hello again.
[Discussion] ED friendship idea?
/u/ForSnowfall
Created: Mon Nov 20 18:15:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7edykd/ed_friendship_idea/
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So, having an ed is very isolating and most people don't understand what it's like, which is one of the reasons why this sub thrives. I was wondering if it's a good idea to sort of allow people to try to connect and form friendships through here. How it would work is you would comment a little bio about yourself (hobbies and age would be strongly encouraged to be mentioned, as well as whatever else), then people could scroll through and message those they relate with with their own bio. From there, obviously people could start chatting through whatever form of communication they prefer. Do you guys think this is a good idea? I suppose we could begin here if it works out, I don't know dude.
[Discussion] Test anxiety making my ed worse. Anyone relate?
/u/katya_del_rey
Created: Mon Nov 20 17:58:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7edur1/test_anxiety_making_my_ed_worse_anyone_relate/
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I have a midterm the next two days, and although I’m not too too nervous about it I still feel the need to restrict out of desperation of some sort. It’s hard to explain really...it’s like I’m nervous about something going wrong somehow and that’s been manifesting in the form of my ed. Been binging hardcore this past week and now I can’t eat for the life of me until I’m done with exams. Like the thought of eating rn makes me want to vomit.
Anyone else feel their ed kinda flare up badly during major exams and such for school? It’s such a pain in the ass. Like I don’t have enough to worry about, now I have my dumb ol ed behaviors screwing shit up for me even more so 😩
I just binged on a whole jar of pickles and now I feel like shit😷😞
/u/seriouslyupset
Created: Mon Nov 20 17:33:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7edok3/i_just_binged_on_a_whole_jar_of_pickles_and_now_i/
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[Goal] GW #3 Is Reached
/u/fuckingilluminated
Created: Mon Nov 20 17:06:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7edhfe/gw_3_is_reached/
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It feels crazy, but I just reached my third goal weight. I still have like, four to go. But I think I should readjust my gws, because I've lost SO much weight, I need to make the increments smaller. That's a grand total of 75 pounds lost. I still have about 70 more to go, but I finally feel like I am actually getting somewhere.
[Discussion] Depression brought my ED back.
/u/PrettyThoughts_209
Created: Mon Nov 20 16:39:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7edb2j/depression_brought_my_ed_back/
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I haven't eaten in 4 days. No pains just a headache.
[Discussion] Weird, fucked up things that people without EDs just don't "get".
/u/PersephoneHazard [HW -60 | GW +40 | 🍑 PersephoneHazard]
Created: Mon Nov 20 16:37:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7edag7/weird_fucked_up_things_that_people_without_eds/
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Following yet another conversation with my boyfriend that ended with him going "um...should you maybe bring that up with your therapist?!?" about something that I thought was relatively normal (yeah, this happens a lot) I'm thinking about things that it's difficult to explain to people without EDs, or that sound super crazy to them but make perfect sense to us, or whatever. What you got?
A few that apply to my own daily life:
- I often struggle to shower or get changed because I'll have to see/deal with/confront my own body. I like baths but I can almost never cope with them because my stomach is RIGHT THERE the whole time.
- When there's junk food around I can literally *feel* it, like it's calling me and nagging me. I sometimes eat food I don't even want just so that I don't have to think about it any longer.
- I love self-checkouts with a firey fucking passion because they mean no actual human is seeing every item in my shopping basket. The very first thing I thought the very first time I saw one was "fuck yes that will be AMAZING for binge food, I hope they catch on". I will go out of my way to get to a place that has them over one that doesn't for *anything* edible, but *especially* if it's junk/binge food.
[Discussion] Looking skinny in pictures
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: who knows? | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 20 16:25:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ed7g8/looking_skinny_in_pictures/
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How do people do it?? I have to go to a formal event with my family this week and inevitably pictures will be taken and inevitably I will have to be in them and inevitably people will see them, and it's causing me so much anxiety because I photograph looking so much heavier than I even am in real life. So please give me your tips- outfit choice, poses, whatever you do that helps.
[Rant/Rave] I'm nearly underweight and yet I'm still getting fat jokes on my r/roastme post
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 20 14:49:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eci8b/im_nearly_underweight_and_yet_im_still_getting/
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[deleted]
[Help] Desperate: what pills do you guys take?
/u/overweightandstress [5'8 | CW: 144 lb | BMI: 21.4 | GW: 127 lb| F]
Created: Mon Nov 20 14:35:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ece8z/desperate_what_pills_do_you_guys_take/
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[removed]
[Discussion] (very touchy topic: major trigger warning) DAE have legit flashbacks to inpatient?
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 80 lbs | 15.13 | -24ish | f]
Created: Mon Nov 20 14:32:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ecdfp/very_touchy_topic_major_trigger_warning_dae_have/
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I'm not sure how common it is, but i had an extremely traumatic experience when i was forced into inpatient. shockingly, the facility i was sent to is regarded as one of the best in the nation. i left that place a shell, and it haunts me every day of life, especially in the fall. i find myself dreading sleep because i know i'll dream about it. i haven't showered in three days because that's a major trigger. my hair is greasy and i've been unable to wear anything besides giant hoodies just to feel safe. neglecting myself and my responsibilities has become routine. i never recovered academically and now probably won't graduate high school. college is off the table. i've become angry and hostile and my mood disorder got beyond unmanageable to the point where my own mother sent me away to live with someone else for a year because she just couldn't stand me. I'm a victim of abuse, and as far as distress goes, the way they treated me in that facility rides the same line of devastation.
am i alone in this?
this is much a rant as a plea for discussion, so i apologize if it reads accordingly.
[Help] nervous about eating more than usual this week
/u/band-aide [5'6 | CW: 118 | HW: 140 | LW: 90 | F/19]
Created: Mon Nov 20 14:12:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ec84o/nervous_about_eating_more_than_usual_this_week/
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I haven't had anything substantial for a week now, and I was dropping lbs pretty steadily until today, so I'm trying to convince myself to get some food tomorrow after class (~1120 cals) to kind of eat at maintenance (though it is probably below- I just underestimate it "just in case"). I'm just afraid I'm going to reverse all my progress this week.
Not only am I eating a full meal tomorrow, I am on wednesday too with family and the online menu for the damned place doesn't give nutritional info so I have to estimate everything. Then thursday is thanksgiving, and I really have no idea what my intake will be that day, but probably over maintenance. I will be home all weekend too, so I'll be eating leftovers.
I'm terrified, but starving and I want to fucking eat dammit.
I guess I'm asking for reassurance that I won't reverse all my progress this week. Because I really feel like I will.
Lax dramas
/u/Jerrabella
Created: Mon Nov 20 14:09:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ec793/lax_dramas/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Ana Artists
/u/Elizawitch
Created: Mon Nov 20 13:42:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ebzpo/ana_artists/
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What's the typical subject of your art? I feel like I only doodle severely malnourished women.
I'm an art major and when I can't think of a topic for a piece I usually jump to tiny women.
Are you all the same?
[Rant/Rave] I found my scale!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 20 13:42:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ebzpi/i_found_my_scale/
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[deleted]
[Help] Weird food poisoning question is weird.
/u/PersephoneHazard [HW -60 | GW +40 | 🍑 PersephoneHazard]
Created: Mon Nov 20 13:38:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ebyhi/weird_food_poisoning_question_is_weird/
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[removed]
[Goal] I'm so close to my first goal weight!!
/u/That_1bitch
Created: Mon Nov 20 13:17:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ebsqb/im_so_close_to_my_first_goal_weight/
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On mobile can't flair
I was having a really shitty day (problems with work and school) but then I weighed myself and came in at 116.4! I ate 2 donuts today (which I shouldn't have) so after I have a BM it'll be even lower. I was stuck at 122 for a while and I'm soooo happy to finally start seeing some progress! My GW right now is 115 but my UGW is 110, although I'll probably go lower once I get there.
On a side note, the only scales we have are in my parents bathroom and my mom works from home so I can only weigh myself when she isn't here (which isn't often). Has anyone had any problems like this? Is there a good way to sneak around and be able to weigh myself frequently? Anyone have any creative lies to get around it? I've been thinking about telling her I'm trying to put ON weight but I don't know if that would work, she's pretty good at detecting bullshit.
[Rant/Rave] I've been doing this for 10 years now, I wish I had died
/u/luxklepto
Created: Mon Nov 20 13:04:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ebp13/ive_been_doing_this_for_10_years_now_i_wish_i_had/
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I tried to commit suicide when I was 13. And I failed, but now I wish I had died then because my life was always going to be fucked up with this hanging over my head everywhere I go. 10 years now. I've told myself the same lies for 10 years. This time will be different. I won't binge this time. I'll eat healthy this time. I'm fucking delusional. Nothing has worked for this. None of the inpatient, outpatient, therapists. I wish I died. I'm too scared to kill myself now.
[Tip] Diet Snapple keeps me going physically and mentally
/u/Anorexibulemanemia [Height 5'7"| CW: 117.6 lbs | GW 100 | 20M]
Created: Mon Nov 20 12:26:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ebegm/diet_snapple_keeps_me_going_physically_and/
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https://i.redd.it/ganchenll6zz.jpg
[Thinspo] What are your thinspo music playlists?
/u/PrettyMe_PrettyYou
Created: Mon Nov 20 12:02:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eb7ig/what_are_your_thinspo_music_playlists/
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Do you have music that you listen to that calms you down when you want to binge?
I listen to a lot of Taylor Swift when I feel the urge to eat because she is body goals and imagining looking like her puts me off of my appetite almost immediately.
Stuck without a food scale
/u/daintydaisydoll [5'1.5 / CW:105 / BMI: 20.3 / GW: 85]
Created: Mon Nov 20 11:58:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eb68k/stuck_without_a_food_scale/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Weight gain/retention on period?
/u/fluffyfinaland
Created: Mon Nov 20 11:57:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eb5uj/weight_gainretention_on_period/
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This is probably a silly question but do you guys also gain weight/retain extra water weight on your period? I've was on the depo shot for ~3 years and finally stopped getting it earlier this year. I haven't had a normal period or symptoms for about that same time and have just started getting "normal" periods again. I can't remember what it's like from when I got them forever ago so was just wondering everyone else's experience!
[Discussion] Just got prescribed 200mg Wellbutrin daily, what are your experiences?
/u/FUCKuNSALTEDcROUTONS [5'6 |CW:156.8 | GW: 125 |F 18]
Created: Mon Nov 20 11:46:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eb31z/just_got_prescribed_200mg_wellbutrin_daily_what/
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Preface, I know it can increase Seizures in those with anorexia or bulimia which isn't a problem for bingey with no purgey me.
What have your experiences with it been like?
[Rant/Rave] Comments when visiting family
/u/silverkel
Created: Mon Nov 20 11:29:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eayig/comments_when_visiting_family/
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I visited my aunt and uncle over the weekend, and brought a friend. We were in the kitchen making dinner and my aunt comes over to me in a loud-whisper, saying "You're looking very thin. Are you sure you're eating enough?" And I almost laughed cause I was like, uhhh you think I'm going to say anything other than yes when I'm surrounded by people? Slash at all? I was kind of embarrassed because my uncle and friend were there but also pretty stoked because it means my efforts are working! Yaaay!!! I'm just worried she's going to tell my mother. Also, my family is waaay more in your face and into commenting on each other's appearances, there is a standard of a lack of personal boundaries, so I'm getting worried about visiting over Christmas. Le sigh.
Here’s my 100 calorie lunch
/u/kittybunny75 [5'6 | CW:100 | BMI: 16.1 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 20 11:27:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eaxqq/heres_my_100_calorie_lunch/
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https://i.redd.it/0me6lmm4b6zz.jpg
[Help] Hey everybody! Don’t know if this is the right place to ask- I need some help
/u/UngratefulPast
Created: Mon Nov 20 11:12:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eatoh/hey_everybody_dont_know_if_this_is_the_right/
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[removed]
[Discussion] What is considered fasting to you?
/u/flightlesspotato [5'5 | CW: 123 | 20.3]
Created: Mon Nov 20 10:30:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eahzb/what_is_considered_fasting_to_you/
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For me, anything that contains calories even in the forms of liquids break my fast. I don't consume protein powders during fasts. The only thing I allow myself to drink without breaking the fast would be black coffee, plain water, and tea.
I was kind of curious about what you guys think a fast would be considered as, since some people do liquid fasts etc
Also does anyone have any tips? My longest fast was 26 hours only and I'd love to hit 72 like some of you guys here.
[Rant/Rave] I hate being a woman.
/u/gengar001
Created: Mon Nov 20 10:06:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7eabg9/i_hate_being_a_woman/
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I hate being a woman. I do not hate the concept of femininity (detached from gender) nor do I hate my genitalia, but I hate the social class that I have been placed in because I happened to be born with breasts and a vagina. My worth is ultimately decided by how conventionally attractive I am. I do not exist to be a full-fledged person, but I exist to look good and to please the (male) viewer, and that is it.
People will lie and say “looks are not everything,” and that is, at best, only half-true if you are particularly exceptional. You must be exceptionally smart or funny or athletic to be considered of nominal worth, and even then, the caveat of “but she’s ugly” will always follow.
And what do you do when you are not exceptional, both in regards to what you look like and “who” you “are”? What do you do if you don’t have a personality full of bright, glimmering facets and shining talents? What do you do if you don’t fit into that perfect, tiny pocket of acceptable beauty?
In that case— in my case— you are utterly worthless. I have time and time again been shown that, not just by society at large, but even by the people who claim to love and value me. Looks will always ultimately trump whatever absolutely minuscule modicum of personality or talent that is locked in my miserable body.
And so, I’m here— binging, purging, starving, and striving to make my exterior better because the interior doesn’t truly matter. I hate my body— my just-so-happened-to-be female body— but I do try my best not to self harm. This is not because I shouldn’t hurt myself (I should; I am worthless after all), but because the scars will make me uglier than I already am.
I hope that one day my exterior will be good enough to fit into that stupid, narrow mold of beauty— of acceptableness and worth. I hope that one day I can experience and be shown worth and value. I hope that one day I will experience love without fear of being replaced with a better, a more beautiful, person.
I hope that one day, I can exist as a woman, bravely. I hope one day I will not need to feel compelled to justify my existence as a woman, but that day is not yet here. I hope I will live to see it.
[Rant/Rave] Triggering comments from SO.... AGAIN
/u/snow-faerie
Created: Mon Nov 20 09:53:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ea7ly/triggering_comments_from_so_again/
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What do you all think about abs visibly showing? The reason I ask, is because I used to be pretty athletic and my abs showed pretty well and now they do not and I feel like my SO is complaining about it. Anyway, yesterday my SO said "oh, with all the working out you're doing, you're going to get a six pack!" Now, I don't want a six pack, as that's a bit much for me and I said so. He then said that a little bit of one was nice. I don't have one, I'm nowhere near having one right now... Then he followed up with saying "don't worry, you're pretty!" Pretty. Not nice body. I can't help but hyper focus on the words he used and feel like he's commenting that my body isn't nice enough yet. :( It's so frustrating because after my water weight went back up from my huge loss, I've felt pretty shitty, and this is just the icing on the cake really.
[Discussion] Question for fellow bulimics: what are the worst things you've ever tried to purge?
/u/fieryanxiety
Created: Mon Nov 20 09:31:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ea1si/question_for_fellow_bulimics_what_are_the_worst/
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For me, microwave buttered popcorn is always the worst. But I love it so I can't avoid binging on it! It burns my throat so badly and the little kernels... Ugh awful!
[Discussion] DAE spend hours upon hours at the grocery store, just reading labels and touching food but not buying anything?
/u/dre-ezy
Created: Mon Nov 20 09:26:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ea0ha/dae_spend_hours_upon_hours_at_the_grocery_store/
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[Discussion] what's the most weight you've lost in a month?
/u/kittencow
Created: Mon Nov 20 08:54:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e9s2b/whats_the_most_weight_youve_lost_in_a_month/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] So far so good.
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 60.9 kg | BMI: 22.6 | -22.6 kg | 21F]
Created: Mon Nov 20 08:48:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e9qng/so_far_so_good/
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Today I drank some juice, some coffee and ate 2 thin slices of ham which brings me under 300 cals for today. I got a job, I don't think I flunked my test, I finally managed to get an appointment at a hospital for my stupid gall and TMI I finally pooped after 3 days of eating. Really hard when your digestive system isn't working but you can't take laxatives. Anyway I would say this day was quite alright so far. I didn't even step on the scale today. I'm not super happy but at least I was productive and didn't feel completely worthless.
How about you guys? Anything good happened recently?
[Discussion] DAE love it when they get sick?
/u/peachybummer
Created: Mon Nov 20 08:42:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e9oy5/dae_love_it_when_they_get_sick/
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caught a sore throat/cold bug so i am bedridden for a few days and i physically can’t eat anything besides oatmeal and drink water and tea HALLELUJAH i can finally break this binge cycle once and for all and drop a few pounds in the process !!!
[Discussion] Netflix Original Series: To The Bone
/u/ppyeosae
Created: Mon Nov 20 08:40:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e9oll/netflix_original_series_to_the_bone/
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Has anyone seen this? Did you like it? Was it worthwhile?
I'm kind of interested, but I share a Netflix account with my boyfriend, and I don't really want him to see that I watched this in his history..
I apologize, this is my first time posting here, and I've been lurking around for quite sometime. I will post a proper introduction later on xD
[Discussion] What’s your Thanksgiving plan?
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Mon Nov 20 08:20:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e9jtg/whats_your_thanksgiving_plan/
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Restrict? Before? After? Day of?
F it and eat all the things for 4 days?
I freaking love Thanksgiving and wish I could just feast for 4 days but uh...ED. It sucks ruining a holiday centered on gratitude with disordered thoughts.
[Help] How to Deal With Forced Recovery
/u/elizasbreath [5'3.5"| CW 105lb | GW: 90lb | -30]
Created: Mon Nov 20 08:19:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e9jew/how_to_deal_with_forced_recovery/
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This is not a guide - guys, how the hell do I deal with this
I cannot risk being kicked out but I also cannot deal with recovery so??? uh??? lmao
what the fuck
I feel pathetic
I just want to be 90lb and instead, I am risking expulsion if I even stay at 105 instead of increasing.
[Thinspo] Who’s your celebrity thinspo?
/u/quoth_the_phoenix
Created: Mon Nov 20 08:12:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e9htq/whos_your_celebrity_thinspo/
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Celebrity news is my guilty pleasure and I love films and TV. Who are your fav singers/actresses/actors/models for thinspo?
I think Bella Hadid is so gorgeous and Olivia Wilde too. Oh and Alexa Chung and Olivia Munn. I wish I had more short thinspo though! I’m 5’3 and have spent my whole life wishing I were taller.
[Intro] So this is me
/u/DeathmetalFiretruck [5'5 | CW 82lbs | BMI 13.81 | HW 187 | 24F]
Created: Mon Nov 20 07:46:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e9blo/so_this_is_me/
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Been posting/commenting here for a few weeks now, but never formally introduced myself.
I'm diagnosed with Anorexia Restrictive-type, but I have also dabbled in other behaviors like b/p, c/s, overexercising, etc. I also currently just started ECA stacking, but i'm worried about it because I also take Wellbutrin and i've heard that can cause major issues.
Looking back, i've always been a bit of a disordered eater whether it be over or under eating. When i was a child I would constantly graze and my mom would encourage it because she saw food as love. We went through some tough financial times and wound up homeless for a year, so food became ultra important to her and we would always have a lot of unhealthy snacks and processed foods around. By middle school I was about 160 lbs. In high school I got really active and started skipping breakfast and lunch, and I got down to ~142, but I was not eating healthy and would still get a days worth of cals in my 1-2 meals that i DID eat during the day. (I would still eat chips, fried chicken, cookies, pizza, etc.).
Some major things happened later on in high school, and depression hit me really hard Junior and Senior year. I ballooned back up from sitting and playing video games all day while binging/grazing on junk. I remember I would be up until 2 AM just doing nothing productive, and would go to sleep only because I was excited to get to eat again when I woke up. Literally, the only thing that made me feel okay at this point was food (Ice cream being my major vice). Freshman year of University made it worse since I had access to basically any food i wanted at any time, so I hit my highest weight of 185 (maybe even 190, im not sure tbh) that year. I was self harming, and had 2 suicide attempts.
It seems like the restricting happened so suddenly (like my mind just flipped a switch), but I remember having days where I would just think to myself, "I'm just going to stop needing things. I don't want to take anything from the world anymore, so I'll just stop eating. I want to be that skeletal girl who steps out of the shower and can fit her fingers around the highest part of her arm.". So that's what I did. I was 17 around this time.
Fast forward to the Junior Year, I had gotten down to 113 and everyone wanted to know my secrets. I "had it all": I became a college cheerleader, I was concertmaster of the orchestra, and ALWAYS made the dean's list. Some people suspected me but I wasn't scary skinny (yet) so I was never forced to see a doctor or anything. My mom only knew I went vegan but thought i was just trying to be healthier. Problem was, I didn't know how to stop restricting/fasting. By graduation, my weight was somewhere in the upper 80s.
After graduation, I got a cooperate job and worked 50-60 hours a week. I hit my lowest weight in 2016, of 75lbs. By that point I had already been in the hospital for a scary bout of food posioning/refeeding syndrome and every day felt like a physical struggle to exist. Eventually, my body took control and October 2016-July 2017 became a binge fest. I literally did not think i would ever be able to stop eating. I would spend the entire day stuffing my face, then cry, scream, and sometimes self harm, then eat more once my stomach had some more room in it. (Graphic: I actually took a razor and cut the word fat just below my bellybutton...it's still there but fortunately it has faded a bit). I actually lost a job because I was absent too much from feeling so ashamed to even be seen. I went back up to 95 lbs, so I was still underweight, but the change was just too much for me to handle and I eventually relapsed.
So here I am today, back down to 82lbs and still trying to get back to my LW. I'm currently in grad school and I work full-time, but I just can't seem to get out of this disorder. It's all I know. Every morning I weigh myself, do body checks throughout the day, and I have lots of wierd food rituals and systematic habits (I hate the term OCD) that I engage in to keep me "sane" and/or occupy my time.
This sub is a huge sense of comfort for me and reminds me that I am not alone in my daily struggles. I'm actually home "sick" from work right now because I had an arctic zero binge last night and I felt too guilty to even leave my house. :(
I'm more than open to chat with anyone on here, and honestly would love a friend or two. When neurotypical people have problems they talk about it with friends/loved ones. I just want to be able to do the same with the craziness that's in my head.
Stay strong guys, keep taking it one day at a time. <3
[Other] Just made a Peach account! Looking for new friends and people to follow :)
/u/crescendols [153cm | 45kg | 27F | 🍑m00n_presence]
Created: Mon Nov 20 07:06:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e92lj/just_made_a_peach_account_looking_for_new_friends/
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I'm tired of having no one to relate to so I made a Peach account. Please add me, because I literally have 0 friends irl lmao. m00n_presence is my account! <3
[Rant/Rave] Overheard my mom talking about me to my grandmother, and I feel like hell now.
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Mon Nov 20 06:48:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e8yko/overheard_my_mom_talking_about_me_to_my/
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My poor, sweet grandmother is almost 90 and has dementia. I haven’t seen her in person in 3 years, but I talk to her on the phone every weekend and try to keep her updated on the good things in my life. She tells me how proud she is that I’m back in school and doing so well.
But yesterday, I was in a shitty mood and didn’t talk to her. I was upstairs putting laundry away while my mom talked to her, and I could hear her telling my grandmother that I was too thin and she was really worried about me.
I mean, I get it. She’s right. But I feel like shit now, my grandma is so proud of me but she doesn’t know how badly I’m struggling with my ED. I don’t want her to worry :(
[Discussion] Thanksgiving Fast
/u/dotprinceton [5'3" | CW 108.4lb | BMI 19.73 | GW 92lb | 36F]
Created: Mon Nov 20 06:43:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e8xop/thanksgiving_fast/
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I am going to put this in writing for extra accountability. I am planning to fast until Thanksgiving, following my worst binge weekend yet. I am going to keep to strictly water and herbal tea. This is a short workweek and not a lot is going on, so I don't think any lack of mental clarity will have a huge impact on me work-wise.
My plan is to make this a bit of a science experiment, to keep myself interested and hopefully to make it through rough spots. I am going to track it in a spreadsheet and make notes on when I notice any hunger or side effects.
[Help] Gross quotes or scenes that help ruin your appetite?
/u/Zombeedee [5'9 | shameful | -28 | female]
Created: Mon Nov 20 06:18:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e8sey/gross_quotes_or_scenes_that_help_ruin_your/
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Anyone have any of these?
I was watching The League last night and there's a scene where Taco makes Ruxin eat animal penises for fertility. Taco takes a bite of a big animal penis and goes "oh I think I clipped a vein", and Ruxin heaves.
Genuinely makes me want to throw up and laugh at the same time. But that quote is so good at ruining my appetite that I play it in my head when I'm hungry.
[Rant/Rave] I GAINED 8 POUNDS IN 2 DAYS
/u/catbernetsauv
Created: Mon Nov 20 06:17:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e8s7t/i_gained_8_pounds_in_2_days/
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Just having a mini anxiety attack. I decided to have a cheat day because "whatever it's Saturday you deserve it". And on this 1 day I didn't log my food. I didn't just eat everything in sight but I wasn't mindful about the calories. Sunday I decided to have a healthy lunch and dinner just like I have been doing with results.
Come today, I weigh myself, I'm 8 POUNDS heavier. I don't understand why people advocate cheat days? This one clearly made my body think something was up and it either gave me 8 pounds of water weight or changed it's metabolism.
I'm so angry. And with 3 thanksgivings coming up this week I don't know how I'm going to make it.
[Goal] Stepped on the scale this morning and!! I can’t remember the last time I was under 100 lbs... only 4.8 more to lose!
/u/bananahatrr [5'2" | CW: 100lbs | GW: 95lbs | 17F]
Created: Mon Nov 20 05:49:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e8msy/stepped_on_the_scale_this_morning_and_i_cant/
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https://i.redd.it/bit9ijdvm4zz.jpg
[Discussion] November 20th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 20 05:48:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e8mo9/november_20th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What do you *have* to get done?
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! November 20, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Nov 20 05:14:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e8gii/weekly_stats_update_november_20_2017/
---
This is the weekly status thread for November 20, 2017.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 20, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Nov 20 05:14:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e8ghr/daily_food_diary_november_20_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 20, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
Restriction side effects no-one talks about — do you have them too?
/u/HaTawa11
Created: Mon Nov 20 05:13:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e8gfd/restriction_side_effects_noone_talks_about_do_you/
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I started low restricting 1 week ago (~244 calories per day, no more than 1568 per week, 7 hrs exercise per week) and have these weird side effects, most of which I've had before when restricting :
— Very dry mouth especially at night
— More likely to get a side stitch when exercising
— Heartburn every 45 minutes or so (this one is brand new)
— More forceful sneezing + more forceful gagging (I don't purge but I always gag when I brush my tongue)
— Greasy hair even if I just washed it that morning
I never see anyone talk about these (granted I don't go on ED communities a lot) and wondered if they are normal. Thanks to anyone who replies ❤️
[Rant/Rave] Weighed myself for the first time in ages...
/u/RatchetButtons [5ft9 | CW:68.9kg | 22.50 | GW:60kg | F]
Created: Mon Nov 20 04:20:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e87hk/weighed_myself_for_the_first_time_in_ages/
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And it wasn't as bad as I thought! Still bad. But I was convinced I was around 80kgs but I'm 68.9, which don't get me wrong is still not ideal - but it means only 9kgs to meet my GW, I can do this!!
Just have to take it one day at a time till I'm there :)
Edit: I ofcourse mean one day at a time of restricting because I am a piece of filth who put on over 9kgs and my thighs look like they have been through a hailstorm
[Help] Tips for combatting sodium intake?
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | CW 160.2 | 25.96 | -.9 | GW 128 | 22F]
Created: Mon Nov 20 03:28:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e7z3t/tips_for_combatting_sodium_intake/
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I had a really salty soup today, and even though I exercised for an hour and a half, and am at <700 calories intake, I don’t want to see a water weight spike.
What do? Just drink a crapton?
[Discussion] Stephanie Buttermore's 10k challenge + RMR
/u/usernameblahhhhh
Created: Mon Nov 20 02:41:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e7rtl/stephanie_buttermores_10k_challenge_rmr/
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Earlier in the year this woman's 10k challenge really blew up because she was doing it "for science" (lol) and measuring the effects of the challenge on various factors like blood glucose, bf%, etc. One of the things they looked at was her resting metabolic rate/RMR. I'm so shocked by how much it changes, not to mention how low it is at the beginning???
Here: [https://youtu.be/j6cIbIvEGJM?t=6m4s](https://youtu.be/j6cIbIvEGJM?t=6m4s)
1246 pre-challenge (her muscle mass is so high this makes me seriously doubt mine...)
2100 post-challenge
then: [https://youtu.be/j6cIbIvEGJM?t=7m37s](https://youtu.be/j6cIbIvEGJM?t=7m37s)
A few days later RMR = 1396
Finally, [https://youtu.be/j6cIbIvEGJM?t=9m3s](https://youtu.be/j6cIbIvEGJM?t=9m3s)
Thirteen days later RMR = 1500
Thoughts? Discuss? I don't know I'm so weirded out by how variable RMR is, not to mention how low hers is at a healthy weight + lots of muscle. What does that say for the rest of us lol cry :(
[Help] my mother confronted me. i don't know what to do.
/u/seawardwaves [5'8" ✨ cw~124 gw~108]
Created: Mon Nov 20 02:03:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e7lx1/my_mother_confronted_me_i_dont_know_what_to_do/
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important info~ i'm 16 and my ed is getting worse and my mother is catching on and i don't know how to handle it and it makes me want to restrict more and everything is falling apart.
what she said~ she picked me up from work tonight and in the car told me that she and my dad have both noticed i've lost a lot of weight and that i've been noticeably avoiding meals at home and that they never see me eat. and that they think i'm lying when i say i 'just ate a bit ago.'
what i said~ i'm fine, i'm trying to make healthy choices, oh, huh, have i lost weight? i didn't really notice. mom, i just don't think i need to eat two dinners. it's not healthy to eat two dinners every night just bc you're offended i don't usually eat what you cook bc my life is such that i usually eat elsewhere rn.
i pointed out and example of when i ate a lot right in front of her. she said she thought that may have just been me binging after a long period of restriction. she was right. i didn't tell her that she was right. she admitted she struggled with ed stuff when she was younger (i fuckin knew it you guys, i knew it)
her solution~ when we got home she heated up some **oily, oily oily** leftover vegetable/steak stir fry for me. she called me downstairs and said she made me dinner. i told her, for the second time, i ate at work (lie). i feel bad lying. but i binged this morning, and cannot eat right now. i can't. i could not bring myself to eat the food to appease her. i refuse.
my dad said the biggest red flag for him was that i didn't want popcorn when we saw a movie the other day, and usually i fucking love popcorn, so. lol i love his logic.
my question~ i don't know what to do. they can't *make me eat.* can they? no. they can't. i'm not even underweight. i'm 2lbs over being underweight. i weigh the same as i did at this time last year, i only look like i 'lost weight' bc i put on 20 pounds last spring/summer. i don't know what to do.
i just want to fast until thanksgiving so i can eat normally for a day with my family and friends. the more meals i skip, the more suspicious she gets. the more times i turn down food, the more suspicious she gets. i don't know what to do.
[Discussion] anyone do keto? best safe foods?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 20 01:41:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e7imt/anyone_do_keto_best_safe_foods/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] ugh shittiest couple of days
/u/powergoth [5'5" | 147.8 | 24.59 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 20 01:22:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e7fsb/ugh_shittiest_couple_of_days/
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so my fiancé and I got into a huge argument and he gave me an ultimatum, one of them of course being about my weight, Idk when I last updated my flair because I mostly use this on mobile but I'm 165lbs right now.. so obviously I am restricting but I really resent him for what he's doing to me right now, as if I didn't feel disgusting enough.. anyways the last couple of days I was at 800 cals and then 1200 cals and today was 570.. I just feel like shit and I think we are going to break up and to top it all off I accidentally sorta dyed my blonde hair purple with that purple shampoo that you use to tone it? right before I start a new job in an office setting... like it's comical how fucked these last few days have been. oh well at least I'm too sad to binge I guess.
[Help] Can you lose weight on 800 calories
/u/kittybunny75 [5'6 | CW:100 | BMI: 16.1 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 20 01:00:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e7ccu/can_you_lose_weight_on_800_calories/
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[removed]
If you guys have fasted, how much have you lost within how much time? And do you include tea and coffee? Please be honest ❤️
/u/lotus_re
Created: Mon Nov 20 00:03:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e739h/if_you_guys_have_fasted_how_much_have_you_lost/
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[removed]
[Intro] Community
/u/121to91 [5'1 | CW 121 | BMI 22.9 | NB]
Created: Mon Nov 20 00:02:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e732u/community/
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I feel at home here in this sub. I have done so much work on myself over the decades (fuuuck) to love myself and heal. I've never felt understood though, and felt very alone. None of my friends have ED, and seem surprised whenever I share little bits with them.
And so here, in this sweet sub, I am not alone. My habits, thoughts, utter panic over weight and the fat on my frame. I never realized how much my ED was, has been, and is a part of me.
I'm slightly tipsy, and a bit self conscious, as I'm new here and So Very Large. But I'm relieved, deeply relieved, to have found this space. Also, tomorrow I'll be picking up some Bronkaid, which I didn't know existed until earlier this evening.
Anyone else feel like this and other pro ED spaces are home/community?
[Rant/Rave] I Hate It When People Try To Give My Eating Disorder a Name like Ana, Mia, or Ed
/u/whimsicalfae776 [5'2.5 | 108 | 20.06 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 19 23:49:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e70xs/i_hate_it_when_people_try_to_give_my_eating/
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It treats the ED as a separate entity as opposed to a set of unhealthy behaviors. Therefore, stripping the individual of any credibility and autonomy when discussing anything regarding their weight and intake.
I understand that it looks like a reasonable coping strategy, but it's an insidious technique that strips the sufferer of any individuality. How? Because, if you're Anorexic, your concerns, thoughts, and feelings regarding weight and food are no longer viewed as 'you' talking. It's "Ana." You're Bulimic? Well, I'm sorry but the reasons why you purge aren't actually coming from you. They're coming from "Mia." Therefore, your personhood is reduced to your disorder. Yes, it is indeed true that each sufferer is an individual with different thoughts, feelings, ambitions, values, experiences, and dreams than other sufferers. However, "Ana," "Mia," and "Ed" are all the same. Therefore, to Them™, you are not you. You are a vessel occupied by one of these three entities each time you raise your voice regarding treatment.
Additionally, it's a gaslighting technique. If you speak up, no one will have anything to do with it because they are trained, train your loved ones, and sometimes eventually train you to believe that it's not you speaking. It is one of these three entities. It's dehumanizing and invalidating.
This is because, once they introduce the names, anything you say about your weight cannot be trusted by you or anyone around you. Your feelings are irrelevant. It's leads to the mindset of "This isn't you, "Ed's" taken hold and the only way to get you back is to do exactly what the nice Specialist tells you to." You may kick and scream and cry. You may develop comorbid conditions. You may even kill yourself. However, it isn't you. None of that was you. You will never be you until you become a Body Positive Recovery Warrior- educating the world about 'intuitive eating' and the dangers of 'starvation mode.' It's not you until you proudly preach the gospel of NEDA and sing the hymns of Mindfulness. You must be baptized in acceptance to regain humanity. Otherwise, you'll never be you. You'll always be just another "Ana" or "Mia" or "Ed."
This is what this technique seems to perpetuate and I abhor it. It's not helpful in the least, nor is it even healthy in my opinion. Rational or irrational, good or bad, wise or ignorant, your thoughts are unequivocally yours. I don't care what your diagnosis is. I don't care how 'ridiculous' you sound or how similar your feelings are to other sufferers. You're valid. You struggle with food. You're not fucking possessed.
[Rant/Rave] I Can't Stand How People Refer To Their "Disordered Thinking" as "Ana" "Mia" or "Ed
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 19 23:32:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e6xv3/i_cant_stand_how_people_refer_to_their_disordered/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Feeling like you don't "really" have an ED because you aren't screwed up enough, so your feelings are invalid
/u/ForSnowfall
Created: Sun Nov 19 23:27:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e6x0x/feeling_like_you_dont_really_have_an_ed_because/
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Logistically, I know that I'm not technically overweight; I know that appearance is so far below the things that truly matter, and I know that eds aren't worth it. So part of me computes that as, "See, you aren't fully committed; you think like a "normal" person. You don't have it as tough as others, quit faking." Although I know I don't think like a normal person, but it's an endless messy and illogical battle. Additionally, I'm not 90 pounds, and haven't been hospitalized for an ed or anything like that, and while I know that that does not mean an ed is illegitimate, I still feel like I'm not "allowed" to have a technical eating disorder. It's complicated, but hopefully you all are picking up what I'm putting down. This whole invalidity thing has always been a major trend in my life, especially the whole "others have it worse, suck it up" concept I've always been taught and is thus hardwired into me. It's all very stupid, like if I heard someone saying "oh you're not 90 lbs so you can't have an ed," I would call them out in a heartbeat. Just wondering about people who can relate.
Edit: I appreciate you guys so much (": Also hoping everyone gets better.
[Discussion] DIY recovery Discord group?
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Sun Nov 19 23:10:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e6too/diy_recovery_discord_group/
---
So I recently posted on a user's thread where I suggested I make a Discord group geared toward DIY recovery - and I am TOTALLY up for this! Mental healthcare is so behind, and it seems to often leave people with EDs "weight restored" without knowing how to handle it. **I really want to know your thoughts and opinions and tips on how we could make DIY recovery work**.
First off, I was thinking we could start off gradually and use calorie counting and accountability to make sure we are on track, but with our recovery! I feel like this is a good way to start off because it just seems stupid to drop everything all at once. So basically it would be like r/proED but about maintenance and gaining.
I am comfortable being a mod or whatever. What I would want to do is make sure everyone in the group (provided there is a relatively small amount) posts most days - e.g. PM them if they haven't posted in a couple days, etc. In inpatient, *everyone* counts and is looked after, and I want this to have that feel.
However, this would be self-directed, too. It's obviously completely voluntary, but I feel like we could help encourage everyone if we did this together!
So yeah, tell me what you think! I'd love to make this happen, even if there's only a few people who are interested.
[Rant/Rave] ED Specialists, "NEDA" and Recovery Culture is a Toxic Cult.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 19 22:10:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e6ih5/ed_specialists_neda_and_recovery_culture_is_a/
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[deleted]
[Other] Thinnest I’ve ever been and the fattest I’ve ever felt
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 19 21:51:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e6eok/thinnest_ive_ever_been_and_the_fattest_ive_ever/
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https://i.redd.it/3jwy8zqn92zz.jpg
[Other] TIL that "Recovery Wings" are a Real Phenomenon and Not Just Something My "Disordered" Brain Made Up
/u/whimsicalfae776 [5'2.5 | 108 | 20.06 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 19 21:43:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e6d9h/til_that_recovery_wings_are_a_real_phenomenon_and/
---
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11840175
[Help] Collection of recovery workbooks + manuals
/u/decima205 [5'6" | SW: 150 | CW: 140 | GW1: 135 | UGW: 100]
Created: Sun Nov 19 21:36:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e6bwg/collection_of_recovery_workbooks_manuals/
---
Hi everyone,
I've gotten so many requests for my recovery workbooks that I figured I would make a post to share, although I was initially hesitant. I wanted to preface this with the fact that I know not everyone is ready for recovery (and some people may not want recovery at all). That's perfectly fine, and by posting these I don't mean to make anyone feel bad about where they are in their journey. I myself am actually not ready for recovery, but I've collected a lot of books if/when that time should ever come.
**If you like this post, please upvote so others can see!** Let me know if any of the links are broken and I'll fix them as soon as I can. I purchased all of these with my own money, so please share responsibly. If I get any new books, I'll try to bump this with the additions. Stay safe, everyone!
*First, some common terms:*
Cognitive Behavior Therapy **(CBT)** and Dialectical Behavior Therapy **(DBT)** are the most common treatment modalities for eating disorders. DBT is basically a form of CBT that Dr. Marsha Linehan originally developed to treat suicidality, self-harm, and Borderline Personality Disorder. Interestingly, Borderline is one of the most common co-morbid mental health disorders with eating disorders, so it wasn't difficult to modify DBT for the ED population.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy **(ACT)** is a newer therapy that is starting to be used with eating disorders. It is particularly useful for binge-eating, compulsive overeating, and general body dysmorphia. Not as popular as CBT/DBT in treatment facilities, but I find that individuals who don't "click" with the regimented nature of CBT/DBT usually end up liking ACT. It focuses a lot more on acceptance instead of forcing your thoughts to change.
**General CBT/DBT books**
- [The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook](https://drive.google.com/open?id=16PzGA0bB2A5rEFHet0jTZrX2_3eVkojU) - this is for general DBT, but can definitely be used for eating disorders too. There's a similar one down below specifically for BN.
- [The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Anxiety](https://drive.google.com/open?id=160YQD1_moorfmzn7Gt85ysKvmawpe6Ed) - not eating disorder focused, but I find that a lot of us suffer from anxiety/depression as well, so this might be helpful!
**Anorexia-specific**
- [The Anorexia Recovery Skills Workbook: A Comprehensive Guide to Cope with Difficult Emotions, Embrace Self-Acceptance, and Prevent Relapse](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1SJ9MC7AiH0cn86PdnMK9J8jZNT496kDH)
- [The Anorexia Workbook: How to Accept Yourself, Heal Your Suffering, and Reclaim Your Life](https://drive.google.com/open?id=17h2GgJJY5lbw73gOu7Q5lJ5mDvCDSgXO) - uses ACT
**Bulimia-specific**
- [Getting Better Bite by Bite: A Survival Kit for Sufferers of Bulimia Nervosa and Binge Eating Disorders](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1TLVbVtj2g-9CwvH7berIvlU0B0x2BCfC/view?usp=sharing)
- [The Overcoming Bulimia Workbook: Your Comprehensive Step-by-Step Guide to Recovery](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1acsHtvtZ1CJLMWffVdSZLUrN7WgTqMhT) - uses CBT
- [The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Bulimia](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1zvYxLkHt2_7tjkynIx-AtEmOyu4R8Y0Z)
- [The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Bulimia: A Guide to Breaking Free from Bulimia Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy](https://drive.google.com/open?id=17O0rLeUSo8FIxK0jBQUN0sSPOdonoIeA)
**Binge Eating / Compulsive Overeating**
Here are some workbooks that focus specifically on BED and CO. Because some of these books focus on cutting cals and increased control, some individuals with AN/BN may find them triggering, so I've separated them out for this reason.
- [Binge Eating and Compulsive Overeating Workbook](https://drive.google.com/open?id=18jJQiFX1Y30lEVRVYhICVPPCxR1UAiza)
- [The Sugar Addict's Total Recovery Program](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1CxOl1_qy6EdbQawf37pykaFr0UOZ7RMV)
- [Never Binge Again](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1fTJ8xixYueRZWSJw_-4Gyf2HaVmIO3br) - this is bordering on meanspo, it has a very "tough love" tone so please read at your own risk
**Body Dysmorphic Disorder / body image issues**
- [The BDD Workbook: Overcome Body Dysmorphic Disorder and End Body Image Obessions](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1W9oW5ddgf72Ic90m8zqV7oxDP26bxfeR)
- [The Body Image Workbook: An Eight-Step Program for Learning to Like Your Looks](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1srJv41m0C2u1ramkTZd9g3t86Wk3B5gf)
- [Overcoming Body Dysmorphic Disorder: A Cognitive Behavioral Approach to Reclaiming Your Life](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1VJgPGJWWQzrPieCDIgdCCQD5jsFjaiFI)
**General ED workbooks**
No particular therapy style or ED, just all-around good workbooks :)
- [Eating Disorder Recovery Handbook](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1rcUoVK-TCxN2vHFYUdBOWGH4OMkhVb9v) - this is one of my personal favourites :)
- [Beating Your Eating Disorder: A Cognitive-Behavioral Self-Help Guide for Adult Sufferers and their Carers](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1461B6jPeEgpELjG1VlrrE57v6oq6vcoL)
- [End Emotional Eating](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1DCz3Hx62et3jCFxpEUCJocBnEmp3h5Hx) - uses DBT
- [Beating Eating Disorders Step by Step: A Self-Help Guide for Recovery](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1WEohoZC9WOdRebmmWwjNYb4qI_D3WUiw)
- [Goodbye Ed, Hello Me: Recover from Your Eating Disorder and Fall in Love with Life](https://drive.google.com/open?id=199GH5h5SK0kGgwsLCgqxo9f7QA8NWHBd)
- [The Appetite Awareness Workbook: How to Listen to Your Body and Overcome Bingeing, Overeating, and Obsession with Food](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1STmMKZ8nxOaOjt9s4HLXWI71L4L-Nlfn) - Linda Craighead is super famous in the ED field, I've actually met her in person! :)
- [The A to Z of Eating Disorders](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1Z1Sle-aLxeEHRv6x_maJXJVdt2_X3tyE) - not a workbook per se, but good information esp for family/friends who are supporting your recovery; you might learn a bit too :)
TAKE HEED, becareful of what you post on myproana. Thread reveals mod and user corruptions
/u/throwaway-mpa
Created: Sun Nov 19 21:00:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e64ps/take_heed_becareful_of_what_you_post_on_myproana/
---
http://looksmax.net/Thread-myproana-we-made-it-on-myproana-LMFAO-MPA-EXPOSED?page=10
[Other] A balanced and nutritious lunch. What are you having?
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | CW 160.2 | 25.96 | -.9 | GW 128 | 22F]
Created: Sun Nov 19 20:48:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e62fv/a_balanced_and_nutritious_lunch_what_are_you/
---
https://i.redd.it/x9vvxe8hy1zz.jpg
[Help] Does anyone know how many calories there are in an IV? Like the one they put when you are dehydrated?
/u/beatrizpardo
Created: Sun Nov 19 20:34:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e5zlb/does_anyone_know_how_many_calories_there_are_in/
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[Help] The root of my issues is I don't have the capacity to be happy
/u/SvelteDreams [5'5" | CW 121.4lbs | GW 103lbs | 21F]
Created: Sun Nov 19 20:19:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e5wjo/the_root_of_my_issues_is_i_dont_have_the_capacity/
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Like I can be happy for an hour. Sure. Maybe even a day. But I can't be happy long term. My life can be great and I'll find something to complain about. My life *is* great and I find things to complain about. I could weigh half as much as I do now or twice as much and I'd stay just as unhappy. It's not my weight. It's not what I eat. It's not anything... its just everything. I'm never going to be able to be happy and okay. I'm just going to keep isolating myself through my fucked up habits and getting myself worse and worse.
I love this boy. he doesn't want to be with me. theres something wrong with me. no one wants to be with me. and i keep going between trying to eat the cleanest, healthiest foods and trying to be normal because then maybe ill get better and i won't hurt and people could love me, and back to the old binging and purging. because the food comforts me but god help me if i gain a pound because then really who will love me.
i think im having a little bit of a breakdown and i don't know what to do about it.
[Rant/Rave] bleak dream
/u/band-aide [5'6 | CW: 118 | HW: 140 | LW: 90 | F/19]
Created: Sun Nov 19 20:08:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e5u8s/bleak_dream/
---
i've been sick the past few weeks, and I've been dropping weight insanely quick. i have literally been in bed all day for most of the week. i was in the hospital last weekend because i had been vomiting and my IBS has been so bad (...*totally* not exacerbated by lax or anything...) I was severely dehydrated, and losing feeling in my limbs, totally terrified. So I had to get 2 liters of fluids. It was kinda calming. I was under care, not alone, even though I was scared. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I don't control this anymore. My disorder controls me now. I can't eat without feeling ill afterwards, which just makes me feel awful about eating. I'm obsessed with food, of course. I look at pictures of food all day and plan out meals I'm going to get at certain weights.
I had this dream last night where I was at this buffet and there was so much food I wanted to eat, that much I knew, but I couldn't see it, because it was far away and I kept passing out, sort of, falling asleep or something. I would try to open my eyes again and get to the food but I just couldn't. I woke up and just felt so empty, so pitiful for myself. That dream is totally how I feel about food right now. There's so much I want to enjoy, but I can't. Something, maybe it's really just myself, keeps getting in the way. The only thing I can focus on now is losing weight, restricting, and playing video games to distract myself. I've struggled for 6 years and maybe it's just time for me to say something. I don't want to get help. I haven't even reached 100 lbs yet, though I'm close to being underweight, 4 lbs away.
I have to see a GI anyway, on the 1st, inevitably my eating habits will come up. It's going to be so hard to be honest. I've avoided treatment many times- at my LW i lied on several questionnaires I was given. I never feel ready for this sort of thing. I get so stingy about food, especially around family. I don't know if now... I'm going to have to get help and they'll have to bother me even more about food. I'm just really nervous. It's all so uncertain to me.
I might have to leave college, or at least, my housing. Living in an apartment away from people who make me dinner with no meal plan isn't making this situation better. I will just keep being this way until the end of the year. I'll feel so guilty for letting my ED get in the way of things again, and my parents will be pissed. They aren't very supportive... at least my boyfriend is. I just wish they were.
[Discussion] Does anyone else here have kids? So much guilt
/u/sentientdippindots
Created: Sun Nov 19 19:53:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e5qoz/does_anyone_else_here_have_kids_so_much_guilt/
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My son is my entire world, he’s 16 months and I love him more than anything else.
I think my husband (his father) knows about my ED, though he hasn’t fully confronted me. He knows I had issues with food for years, but we have been together for 4 years and my ED didn’t resurface until after I had my son (I had bad postpartum depression as well) so he’s never had to really deal with it before. I gained a disgusting amount of weight when pregnant and didn’t lose any for a while until my um...habits...resurfaced. Now I’ve lost 35lbs in 45 days and I’m fairly sure he’s noticing.
I feel so guilty, my son deserves so much better than me.
[Rant/Rave] Drinking messing up my fast
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Sun Nov 19 19:47:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e5pez/drinking_messing_up_my_fast/
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Ok guys don’t judge me for posting twice in a day.
I’m going on a 72 hour fast and I feel like I could definitely go a lot longer but I reeeeeally want to drink a lot tonight and I know I need to put food in my stomach for that.
This is frustrating af to me but I want to get shit faced so ugh.
[Help] Cutting yourself instead of eating?
/u/skydiver89 [skinny fat AF at 5'4" and 140 lbs]
Created: Sun Nov 19 19:43:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e5ofo/cutting_yourself_instead_of_eating/
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Anyone else do this? I'm so fucking starving right now, but I had two eggs and bread today and a pack of starbursts. I can't eat anything else.
I just need to self harm instead. Oh god...please tell me I'm not alone. I don't understand this. I want the perfect body, but I make permanent scars on my body. I'll hit my goal weight one day, but the scars will remain. FML.
[Help] Bronkaid?
/u/krecneps
Created: Sun Nov 19 19:40:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e5nsb/bronkaid/
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So a bit of googling didn't really help me any, but can anyone over 18 just buy Bronkaid (or something similar)? I live in Ohio if that helps at all, I just want to make sure before I tried to buy any. Thanks!
[Intro] New poster here! Been off an on this road for a while.
/u/irrevocably_damaged
Created: Sun Nov 19 19:23:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e5k5x/new_poster_here_been_off_an_on_this_road_for_a/
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I’ve always had my problems but never had to burden anyone else with them. Flash forward 8+ years and I’m now married in a different state. My husband left for work related things and I fell right back into it, losing 20 lbs in about a month. Then he comes home and I fall right back into bingeing and just overall horrible decision making food wise. I love him to death but I hate him for breaking my focus around restricting/losing. Him and his family are Cuban and could eat 8 full meals a day and I always have issues with them telling me I’m not eating enough (“Hispanics love some meat on their lady’s bones” type commentary) so I guess my question is, how do you hide such a thing from the ones you love? I’ve hid it from my own family but I never quite think they ever noticed/cared. I want to feel good mentally but the only way I can do that is by watching numbers drop on a scale.. is this selfish?
[Rant/Rave] fuck
/u/yaogauiasaurus
Created: Sun Nov 19 19:22:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e5jz5/fuck/
---
So my husband's worried about my not eating. He never gets worried. About anything. and I feel like the shittiest human being ever that THIS is what he'd worry about. ME and my stupid dieting.
But I don't want to stop restricting. I'm not any where near my goal weight.
I feel guilty when I eat more than 600 cal a day. Like I'm failing myself AND him. Who wants to be married to jabba the hutt? And I'm making huge progress for once!!
And now I feel guilty if I DONT eat more than 600 cal. Like. Where does the guilt end?
Also I'm new to Reddit and I'm on mobile... I don't know how to flair. :'(
*regret*
[Rant/Rave] Just sitting here polishing off a bag of sugar free cough drops
/u/jeanisdead [5'2.5" | 98lbs]
Created: Sun Nov 19 19:14:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e5i8a/just_sitting_here_polishing_off_a_bag_of_sugar/
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And I'm like, welp. Hopefully tomorrow I'll wind up shitting out everything I ate today.
I'm so stressed and nervous about what my future is going to be. Everything is in the air. Everything. And it determines my whole future. I binged and purged a lot last week, but I don't want to. I am stuck living with my ex fiancé and god damnit, I don't want him to see me fucking up.
Either tomorrow or Tuesday I find out if I get this perfect tiny little apartment. It's all I can think about in addition to getting this amazing job that I desperately need next month. I think I'm using food so that I don't think about it for a little bit. All that goes through my head is what I'm gonna say at the interview. I need the job more than the apartment. But I kinda feel like if I get one, I'll get the other. I dunno. I've been shit on so much in 2017. Life fucking owes me. I got a job, I joined the gym, I got a car, I applied for Medicaid, I went to rehab. But I always have such shitty life luck. Jobs and houses. Went through a lot of those, man. Getting turned down feels bad.
I try to go to the gym a lot. But I dunno. My job is fucking garbage, I'm depressed, I feel fat as fuck. I don't know who to beg to in order to get the things I feel like I deserve. It's like my insides are screaming at me to go do something, but all I can do is wait. Wait and eat.
I don't even feel like eating right now, but I know there are Oreos in the house. I can't wait until I have my own place where there are no fucking oreos or fast food trash or beer cans.
I'm gonna try to knock myself out, otherwise I'm gonna chew my fingers off. Please wish me luck. I need it now more than I ever have before.
Nice to meet you guys :)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 19 19:08:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e5h1b/nice_to_meet_you_guys/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Anyone else watching SMILF tonight?
/u/damnitimtoast [5'2"| CW 111.6lbs | BMI 21.03 | -22 lbs | GW 110 lbs | 23F]
Created: Sun Nov 19 19:02:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e5fnb/anyone_else_watching_smilf_tonight/
---
It’s about a single mom recovering (sort of) from BED. Very gritty and realistic, but also decently funny so far.
[Discussion] All Aboard The Fasting Train, wooo wooo
/u/MyBodyIsACage_
Created: Sun Nov 19 18:20:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e56cl/all_aboard_the_fasting_train_wooo_wooo/
---
Who else is fasting until thanksgiving? I want to give myself some wiggle room on Thursday, but I also want to look slim/not bloated/less bovine when I see my family.
[Other] I'm going to admit myself tomorrow and all I can think is
/u/skydiver89 [skinny fat AF at 5'4" and 140 lbs]
Created: Sun Nov 19 18:10:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e542r/im_going_to_admit_myself_tomorrow_and_all_i_can/
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Thank fucking god I'm missing Thanksgiving this year.
I'm not excited for being strip searched, having my phone taken away (I will miss this subreddit) or not being able to put on make up. I'm going to admit I have an eating disorder, but I know the place I'm going to doesn't specifically treat them. I'm mostly going for potential PTSD and self harm. I'm just so glad I don't have to deal with the buffet my parents take me to every Thanksgiving. Fuck that place.
[Discussion] What is the one thinspo pic that always kills your hunger?
/u/mieletrose [5'5" | CW 122.5 | BMI 20.6 | 7.5 lb lost | GW 100 | 17F]
Created: Sun Nov 19 18:08:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e53qs/what_is_the_one_thinspo_pic_that_always_kills/
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[removed]
[Help] What low cal, low carb food should I ask my boyfriend to ship out to me?
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Sun Nov 19 18:07:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e53jg/what_low_cal_low_carb_food_should_i_ask_my/
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I need help! Don't know what I should ask him to get for me. He's from the US, lives in Indiana atm.
[Help] Question :/
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 19 18:04:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e52yi/question/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Advice on how not to think about food 24/7?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: who knows? | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 19 18:03:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e52me/advice_on_how_not_to_think_about_food_247/
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From the minute I wake up to the time I go to bed, all I think about is food and how badly I want to eat and how many calories are in things and when I can eat next and what that thing will be and on and on. For the most part I'm not even hungry and it's on my mind even when I've just eaten food and even if I've just binged. Even when I'm doing things that are engaging and that I enjoy I have trouble thinking about anything else. Any tips?
[Help] I just need some support from people who will understand.
/u/unstablevegan
Created: Sun Nov 19 17:49:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e4zgx/i_just_need_some_support_from_people_who_will/
---
I guess this couples as an intro. I went from being overweight this May (BMI 28) to fairly slim after 50lb weight loss. I started out doing it healthily but soon enough my ED tendencies came out (diagnosed AN at 14, now 22 ... oh the joys of a borderline personality) and the last few months I've been restricting. Amazingly, I hadn't binged. Until 2 weeks ago. I've been on a 2 week binge and I'm an emotional wreck. It's been rough ... like stealing my housemate/best friend's food kinda rough. Eating until I'm crying because my stomach is in so much pain kinda rough. My mood has shifted so dramatically, I'm barely attending uni and my confidence is lower than when I was undeniably fat. Today I've decided to quit smoking weed which really was not helping the situation as all self control flies out the window when I'm high, and I'm so disgusted that all I could bring myself to eat today was some pineapple chunks and three bloody olives. I guess I'm feeling hopeful, but still super upset at myself for letting myself go so badly. I dunno how much I've gained because I haven't dared to step on the scale. I'd only just broken into the teens but that's almost certainly ruined. I just feel like such a failure and it's so overwhelming and I'm hurting so much. I don't even know what I'm asking here but I'm sure you all know the feeling of all the pent up guilt of a binge cycle being unleashed at once. It fucking sucks.
[Rant/Rave] Cooler weather= clothes check
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 19 17:39:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e4x1z/cooler_weather_clothes_check/
---
Although I’ve seen the scale change (and hit a new low today in 4-5 years), it’s so hard for me to see physically. It finally got chilly here this week and I am swimming in my winter clothes. Since I’m in this weird limbo between recovery and saying fuck it (again, yet, still) I have zero idea how I feel about it.
I want to be happy, and I want to be smaller. At the same time I am petrified that this is going to get me fired by my therapist. Ugh. I wish I didn’t try the treatment route again, because at least I would still have room to lose.
[Rant/Rave] Out of my comfort zone
/u/bannaberry
Created: Sun Nov 19 17:38:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e4wxh/out_of_my_comfort_zone/
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Not ED related but I just wanted to rave about the fact that I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and taking pole dancing classes.
Can't really tell anyone IRL bc they just judge.
[Discussion] Anybody wanna fast at me
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 19 17:27:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e4udm/anybody_wanna_fast_at_me/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Overcoming shame in therapy
/u/PersephoneHazard
Created: Sun Nov 19 17:13:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e4r4t/overcoming_shame_in_therapy/
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I'm currently in therapy with an amazing counsellor, and it's doing me the world of good. While we've done some fantastic work and I've learned a lot, though, I'm *really* struggling to get into food stuff.
We've touched on it, of course, and she knows at least the basics. We've also discussed how hard I find it to get into, and we're coming up with strategies for dealing with that. I was wondering if anyone here might have some advice, though?
The real problem is discussing binges. I sometimes fast, I sometimes purge and I use laxatives a couple of times a week - but primarily when it really gets down to it I'm a binge eater. I'm horribly bound up in shame about it, though, and I freeze and stammer whenever we try to get into it.
I'm supposed to be showing her a food diary tomorrow. This was sort of my idea - a way to get started by getting it down in writing, as that's less terrifying than speech. It's been quite a bingey week, though, and I'm in a real panic.
I guess I'm not over the idea that I am *the* most disgusting person and *nobody* eats as much as I do when they binge. I know logically it's not true, but...ugh.
Eesh. I barely even know what I'm asking for, really, I'm just finding this horribly difficult. Anyone else gone through it?
[Rant/Rave] Lost weight but look fatter
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 19 16:11:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e4cx5/lost_weight_but_look_fatter/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e4cx5/lost_weight_but_look_fatter/
[Rant/Rave] i cry about the smallest things
/u/audreybelle_
Created: Sun Nov 19 16:01:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e4aio/i_cry_about_the_smallest_things/
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[removed]
[Help] Depressed and binged
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Sun Nov 19 15:45:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e46ld/depressed_and_binged/
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I'm so depressed and just want to die from this.
I've been doing so well with moderate restricting and journaling, then deep depression set in and so did this 3 day massive binge.
Cookies, chocolate, French fries, doughnuts, mac and cheese, ice cream...... I ate so much Friday I was hoping my stomach would just break open. I couldn't even breathe.
I just keep eating. I know I will stop tomorrow once I go back to work, I just fucked up.
I felt I didn't deserve to be skinny. I'm a waste of a human and I've been told so. I try my best to be there for everyone but it's never enough. No matter how hard I try I'm a disappointment.
I can feel the fat I gained on my body these past few days. My chin, legs,stomach. How did they go from positive progress to disgusting fat so quickly. I hate the mirror and everything that brings me down.
I'm just so depressed.
[Discussion] Crappiest things you've done because of your ED?
/u/thinismygame [5'6.5" | 125 | 22F]
Created: Sun Nov 19 15:42:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e45pw/crappiest_things_youve_done_because_of_your_ed/
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There's so much deceit in having an ED and it made me become kinda shitty in some instances.
I'll start with the moments I look back on with the most regret:
1. skipping a close friend's birthday dinner b/c there wasn't nutrition information online.
2. acting like I ate a cake my boss got me as a farewell gift by stuffing it in a bag in my purse. Later I learned that he's never done that for anyone before, ever.
3. another friend's birthday (happened this week & is inspiration for this post) and i hyped her up on my homemade brownies but ended up buying them from a bakery because I didn't trust myself to bake them without binging :(
I feel like a horrible person sometimes......
[Thinspo] Marzia Bisognin
/u/incognitointodrama [5'9" | CW carrot legs | BMI 22,x | GW 110 | f]
Created: Sun Nov 19 15:33:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e43lb/marzia_bisognin/
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https://imgur.com/a/Fz3TG
Marzia Bisognin
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 19 15:32:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e439r/marzia_bisognin/
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https://imgur.com/a/Fz3TG
[Rant/Rave] Anyone else feel like they're too damn old for this?
/u/UnrecoverableFuss [5'4 | GW 115 | CW 169 | HW/LW 198/98 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 19 15:19:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e402m/anyone_else_feel_like_theyre_too_damn_old_for_this/
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I notice not many people have ages in their flair, and panic struck me today...what if everyone I'm reading and relating to here is, like, 18? What if everyone else will mature and grow beyond this, and I am stuck with the eating issues of a teenager for the rest of my life?
I'm 28 now, I have had an ED since ~12, and used Livestrong MyPlate since I was 18 or 19. I can view my weight and everything I've eaten for a decade. The longest I went without logging was maybe 2 months during a really bad binge cycle.
I have eaten 10,000 calories in a day, I have eaten nothing for a week. I have been 100 pounds, I have been 198 pounds. The trend line does not look good, either. At least in my late teens and early 20s I went for months at maintenance, even if maintenance was under- or overweight. Now I am constantly going up or down.
So...how old *are* you? :(
[Discussion] What is your go-to binge food?
/u/mintslut [4'11 | CW: 115.4 | UGW: 84 | -8.2lbs | F]
Created: Sun Nov 19 14:37:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e3par/what_is_your_goto_binge_food/
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I'm feeling a binge coming on, but I've been so damn good lately that I don't want to give in to that feeling. Besides, I've already tasted the food I usually binge on, so I guess I just made this post to reminisce about what I enjoy binging. (Apologies if this is triggering)
I usually binged on:
* 2 family sized bags of Lay's Sour Cream and Onion chips: 1600 calories per bag, so **3200** calories for both
* 1 full sized Cadbury Milk Chocolate bar: **~800** calories
* 1 pint of Cherry Garcia: **~1300** calories
**Total:** 5300 calories
OR, I binged on:
* 1 medium cheese pizza from Domino's: **1680** calories
* 1 box of garlic breadsticks from Domino's: **880** calories
**Total:** 2560 calories
This would, of course, be on top of the actual breakfast + lunch + dinner I usually ate with my family. I really, *really* don't miss those days.
Anyway, I figured this would help me get out of the binge mindset - and it did! I hope it helps others too :)
[Rant/Rave] New low weight!!!!!
/u/athrowaway76250 [5'4" | CW: 102ish | BMI: 17.85ish | GW: 100 | SW: 119 | 24F]
Created: Sun Nov 19 14:11:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e3iok/new_low_weight/
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Got on my scale this morning, and it said 101.8!!! Officially my lowest adult weight. I've been trying to break 102 since early **_summer_** when I first hit ~102.5, but just seemed to yo-yo between 102-105 constantly. Then I "recovered" from Sept-Oct and went up to 109 before saying "fuck that" and starting to lose again. It's been a long year.
I'm 90% sure it's just lost water weight and it'll come back soon (like, tomorrow), but since I've never been this low before (regardless of water weight), I'm still really fuckin excited about it.
But then again, my waist is down an inch (is that even possible?) from last time I measured (end of August, when I weighed 103), and my clothes are looser, so maybe it's **not** just water weight this time. One can only hope, right?
[Rant/Rave] Fucked up today....family = biggest trigger.
/u/mina1200
Created: Sun Nov 19 14:11:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e3im9/fucked_up_todayfamily_biggest_trigger/
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Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my family more than anything else. But whenever I go back home or whenever they come visit me, I binge like crazy. Thought my stomach was going to pop today. Ate more than any of them. I was doing so well back on track with restricting these past couple of weeks. Tried to purge as much as I could once I got home, and that made me feel somewhat better, but...fuck. Think I won't be able to allow myself to get out of my bed/room for the next two days...
[Rant/Rave] Ive been able to go the day without eating so far
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 111 | GW: 100 | M/15]
Created: Sun Nov 19 13:59:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e3fqm/ive_been_able_to_go_the_day_without_eating_so_far/
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[removed]
[Other] peach
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 19 13:50:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e3dip/peach/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I'm worn out.
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 60.9 kg | BMI: 22.6 | -22.6 kg | 21F]
Created: Sun Nov 19 13:48:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e3d3a/im_worn_out/
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I don't feel like getting up in the morning anymore. I'm doing really badly at uni because I'm a slow learner in general and that makes me feel like a big failure. I'm not really losing weight...I'm jumping from plateau to plateau and then I eat. Still under my TDEE but I feel aweful because I'm not doing what I planned on doing which is fasting. I can't stand being around people but being alone makes me lonely. I don't enjoy food, not even while binging. I fit into smaller sizes but I've never felt bigger. I can see and feel some bones but then I see the fat pouches all over my body and those jiggly thighs. The only reason I'm not full on depressed is because my ED is taking up so much space in my head. I'm just really tired.
[Discussion] Imagine being pregnant and having to eat normally for the baby
/u/Ironicbanana14
Created: Sun Nov 19 13:29:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e38hg/imagine_being_pregnant_and_having_to_eat_normally/
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I just thought about this a bit ago. I'm not pregnant nor plan to be ever, but I just imagine how hard it would be for me to eat regularly for the health of the baby. Right now, if I were to become pregnant, I would probably end up having a malnourished baby because of my restrictions and binges. If anyone out there had a kid while suffering from an ED, how did you cope with it? Did it help you overcome your fear or make it worse?
Also the extra weight from the actual baby itself would make me panic even if the logic of my brain kept telling myself it was the baby and not fat on me. I'm childfree %100 for a lot of reasons, and that might also be one of them lol.
[Rant/Rave] My relapse into disordered eating is helping me stop drinking.
/u/IttyBittyBatty [5'5" | CW 😱 | Weight Lost 17.2lb| F]
Created: Sun Nov 19 13:19:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e35xg/my_relapse_into_disordered_eating_is_helping_me/
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Long story short I've been a heavy drinker since I was a young teen. It's not healthy, and has cost me a lot of goodness in my life.
Since I buckled down early October I quickly noticed that the day (or two) after I drank I would binge eat. We're talking 5000+cal/day. So... I've cut down on the drinking. I'm seeing some real weight loss now and it's killing my urges to drink because I know I'll self-sabotage with food after. (Not to mention all the bloody calories in wine! Damn fermented grapes.)
So, yay for my ED!(?)
[Discussion] Does anyone know any neat tricks to reduce dizziness when restricting or fasting?
/u/digital2939
Created: Sun Nov 19 13:00:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e3102/does_anyone_know_any_neat_tricks_to_reduce/
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The dizziness seriously affects my productivity.
[Other] End of Fast
/u/fuckingilluminated
Created: Sun Nov 19 12:35:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e2usx/end_of_fast/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE get a horrible stomach ache/runs immediately after eating a normal/large meal after heavy restricting for a week? Happened to me and I’m not sure why
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Sun Nov 19 12:31:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e2tpl/dae_get_a_horrible_stomach_acheruns_immediately/
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I’ve been heavy restricting this week (500/day) but my friend had a dinner party and I didn’t want to miss out on it so I just had 200 cal for lunch and saved up for dinner. I didn’t binge—I was actually reasonable and had normal amounts of the food.
I had one big cup of wine, one beer, about 3/4 cup pasta Alfredo, a 3/4” slice of Spanish tortilla (potato omelette), about 1/3 cup diced chicken breast that had been cooked in a coconut milk curry sauce but was only thinly coated in the sauce. And about 1/4 cup of tiramisu. About 3 minutes later my stomach started cramping and I had to poop so bad. Sorry if this is TMI but I have never experienced this before.
I’m a little bit lactose intolerant—I’ve gotten gassy from lactose but never anything like this, and I’ve also never restricted like this before. So I’m not sure what caused it.
[Rant/Rave] Just some good old venting
/u/plshealme [165 cm | CW: 🐳 | BMI: 🐳 | GW: 40 kg | -11 kg | 20F]
Created: Sun Nov 19 11:52:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e2jse/just_some_good_old_venting/
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I’m on mobile so can’t flair but this is a rant/rave.
Things have been absolutely shitty lately. And shitty doesn’t even begin to describe it. I haven’t weighed myself in a while and I’m not planning on it anytime soon. For the first time in a long time, all of this is a lot less about how I look to others or how I see myself when I look in the mirror. It’s about being in pain and hurting inside and out and just wanting to starve until I die a painful death. It’s about neglecting myself. It’s about making my outside match my inside.
I don’t know what to say. I am so incredibly pathetic. In every single way imaginable. I want to look like the piece of shit that I am. That’s all. I don’t think about a weight I want to be for once. I don’t think about calories. I just think about nothing. I want to eat nothing and I want to be nothing. I want to look sick. And I know all of this sounds ridiculous and silly but I feel like this is my only purpose. To suffer and to look like I am suffering.
[Other] I'm just a mouth.
/u/bisalt [5'3" | i don't know ]
Created: Sun Nov 19 10:55:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e25nh/im_just_a_mouth/
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https://i.imgur.com/M6N9mgE.jpg
[Help] What do i do if i cant stop shaking after purging
/u/beatrizpardo
Created: Sun Nov 19 10:25:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e1y9o/what_do_i_do_if_i_cant_stop_shaking_after_purging/
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[Rant/Rave] Dentist appointment tomorrow
/u/unpollutedfantasy [🥒]
Created: Sun Nov 19 09:25:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e1jz5/dentist_appointment_tomorrow/
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Going to the dentist tomorrow. Haven’t gone in six months. Between the last time I was at the dentist and now my purging got worse (starting to get a little better though)
I’m just so scared that she’ll be like what the hell how did your teeth get so much worse in 6 months?
My teeth have been more sensitive lately. I also had a nightmare last month where my tooth was falling out in crumbles and I was freaking because I was trying to figure out how I’d explain this to the dentist
I’m just scared that my dentist is going to know. Only 2 people irl know about my ED. Not even my friends and family know. It is my biggest shame & now my dentist will know too & I really feel like crying rn.
Just really scared sorry if this post is stupid
[Rant/Rave] I just realised how heavy my clothes are
/u/NIN_88 [5'3 | SW: 128 | CW: ~115 | GW:89 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 19 09:06:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e1fmi/i_just_realised_how_heavy_my_clothes_are/
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When I came back home, first thing I did was stepping on the scale. I was wearing my coat and all that and I weighted ~123.
Alright, I took off my coat and boom! ~118
Then I took off everything except my underwear: 116.4
Then I stepped on the scale completely naked: 116.2
Maybe doesn't seem that much, but you know how much is .2lbs? That's 700 calories! The same amount I should lose every day if I plan on reaching my GW.
Also, since I remember wearing this big ass coat at my lowest recorded weight, I was probably still 7lbs lighter than that! Wow now I really feel good!
[Rant/Rave] Ready for recovery, but there’s no help out there for me.
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Sun Nov 19 08:46:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e1b5i/ready_for_recovery_but_theres_no_help_out_there/
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I realize I have a problem, and that I can’t manage this ED on my own anymore. My doctor can only help me so much, and I can’t trust my university counselors not to report me to the dean/get me thrown out of my program.
I spent all day yesterday researching clinics and doctors in my area, and emailing some of them that were promising. Today, I woke up to an inbox full of “sorry, we can’t help you if you can’t pay.” My insurance covers nothing, I can’t take out any more loans, and I’m pretty much SOL. Nobody is going to help me pay for treatment, and I can’t do it on my own.
I’m finally starting to realize that it’s too late for me, and nobody can help. I’m going to die like this.
[Rant/Rave] Going to make it to 72 hours!!!
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Sun Nov 19 08:20:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e15uv/going_to_make_it_to_72_hours/
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(Approximately)
I’m at about hour 60 now but I’ll be at work for the next 13 hours, and I never eat while I’m working so i know I’ll be fine.
My longest so far is about 48 hours so I’m pretty excited.
I do feel pretty crappy tho, head rushes every time I stand and nauseous but oh well. Currently sitting w a handful of salt but it is the kind without iodine so I don’t know if it will even help.
I have a super hard time drinking water so I’ve probably only had like 30 oz if that total so that’s probably a big reason I feel so crappy. Will be trying to drink more today.
Still excited tho!!
[Discussion] People of proEd, what's your type?
/u/featherboyy [FtM/5"7.5/CW:225/SW/250/GW/125]
Created: Sun Nov 19 08:19:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e15n9/people_of_proed_whats_your_type/
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[removed]
[Discussion] How many calories are you planning/expecting to eat at Thanksgiving?
/u/clementinecutie1
Created: Sun Nov 19 07:25:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e0vc6/how_many_calories_are_you_planningexpecting_to/
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I'm sorry, I know that a lot of people have been asking questions that are similar to this. I'm so nervous for Thanksgiving. I can never say no to food, especially desserts, and I have such a bad binging problem, so I know I'll end up eating a ton. I always count my calories but I won't be able to do it while I'm there, so the best I can do is estimate for the entire dinner. If you are estimating your calories and just eating whatever at Thanksgiving, how many calories are you planning/expecting to eat?
[Discussion] November 19th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 19 07:09:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e0sa6/november_19th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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When was the last time you checked an online social network?
(Let’s exclude Reddit)
[Discussion] Along the theme of the ED subscription box, what's made your life easier?
/u/itscirclejerky [5'6 | CW: repulsive| 20ish ? | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 19 07:05:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e0ran/along_the_theme_of_the_ed_subscription_box_whats/
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I've bought one of those little pop hand warmers that last about 5 minutes and I'm considering bulk buying a few more since my hands tend to go blue/purple frequently if I'm not careful about keeping warm.
Regular hot water bottles, too, since mine has a rusted cap and needs to be opened with pliers. Though, I'm looking for cute ones so maybe one with fur?
Looking into buying leggings, possibly more fleece-lined ones, as well as thermal long-sleeves and cozy sweaters. Winter socks! I already have about 12 pairs of thermal socks but they're not that warm? Mum says I should wear ankle socks then the thermals and if I'm still cold, she says she'll buy me some proper winter socks.
Food-wise, sugar free energy drinks have been a gift. I can buy them pretty cheap from the Poundstore or pick them up at the corner store so they're easy to buy if I'm out and need to stock up or grab 'lunch'.
Nice teas! I have an apple tea that I've been meaning to drink more often but I also want to buy all the nice sounding teas out there, though I need to finish the 4 or so I currently have.
Of course, there's things on my 'to buy' list like large mugs (I want to buy a Punisher mug since they look really nice but they're too expensive??'), fun straws, a cute water bottle or two, thick hoodies and more vitamins.
What would you say are your 'ED saviours'?
[Help] I've lost 63 pounds and everyone is telling me to stop
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 19 06:08:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e0h46/ive_lost_63_pounds_and_everyone_is_telling_me_to/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e0h46/ive_lost_63_pounds_and_everyone_is_telling_me_to/
[Goal] I finally hit 139.8/140.00
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Sun Nov 19 05:47:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e0dox/i_finally_hit_139814000/
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For the first time in weeks. I just peed and I hit 139.8 for a few seconds before flashing at 140.0. It I’m counting it. It’s almost 5am and I’m happy. Good night 😴😊
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 19, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Nov 19 05:11:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e08bk/daily_food_diary_november_19_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 19, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your latest grocery+food hauls!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Nov 19 05:10:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e087c/sunday_share_your_latest_groceryfood_hauls/
---
Feel welcome to post pics of your latest and greatest hauls~! Consider adding commentary on:
* what country you're in
* what store, site, market or Co-op you shopped at
* how much you spent or any sweet deals you found
[Help] My girlfriend is making me eat
/u/smange719
Created: Sun Nov 19 04:40:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e03uo/my_girlfriend_is_making_me_eat/
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So I kinda mentioned my eating problems with my girlfriend the other day and ever since then they have been watching me and making me eat so much that it’s really starting to stress me out. Anyone got any advice or tips either on how to talk to them about this or even make it seem like I’m eating more? TIA
[Rant/Rave] Party+ body dysmorphia
/u/InterchangeableMoon
Created: Sun Nov 19 04:23:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7e01hi/party_body_dysmorphia/
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I'm at a party drinking and dancing. I'm drunk and just looked at myself in a mirror and realized how gross I am. I made the mistake of wearing a crop top and thinking I looked okay, but having danced with a crop top and my hoodie tied around my waist to hide any extra flab and my jeans, I thought I was invincible. But I saw myself in the mirror drunk for a .5 second moment and I couldn't help but feel ashamed and frustrated, I spend all day thinking about my body and all day agonizing what to eat that it fucking destroys me that I can't find a way to be happy with myself when everyone is so drunk and carefree. I'm hiding in the bathroom pretending to pee and this is all I can think about: maybe I'll put the hoodie back on...
[Rant/Rave] I honestly feel terrible
/u/serenityswild
Created: Sun Nov 19 01:12:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dzbvp/i_honestly_feel_terrible/
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I'm really just so tired of being so unhappy with my appearance.
I wish I could just black out until I weigh 125.
Every day my self esteem gets worse.
I feel like nothing I'm doing is making a difference, I'm honestly miserable (or is this my binging brain being upset I'm not consuming 18392829 calories / day anymore) all the time, constantly hungry and purging.
I've been weighing myself in the same place for 3 months now and today I moved the scale and the number went up 5lbs.
I'm so emotional.
[Rant/Rave] I honestly can’t tell what’s worse anymore - being hungry or full.
/u/babylemonadexx [5'7 👶🏼 96lbs 🍋 21F]
Created: Sat Nov 18 23:37:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dyxyi/i_honestly_cant_tell_whats_worse_anymore_being/
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When I’m hungry, I feel faint, dizzy, and can’t sleep a wink. I can’t focus on work or get anything productive done because I’m just fantasising about food; I have zero sex drive; the emptiness in my stomach keeps me wide awake, but my actual body is too exhausted to get out of bed.
When I’m full, I feel bloated and ugly and ashamed. Like a failure, or ED imposter at the very least. Like I’ve thrown all my hard work away over some stupid craving and I may as well eat enough to feed five small villages now because oh well, I’ve already ruined everything, right !?
Where tf is the middle ground at, y’all?
[Discussion] Found out someone in one of my classes is in recovery
/u/notmyfirsttthrowaway [5'9.5 | 174lbs | 24.62 | -78 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 18 22:40:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dyouw/found_out_someone_in_one_of_my_classes_is_in/
---
I wish I could talk to her about it but I can't and it sucks because I feel like the only person in my school who has an ED sometimes. Not saying I want people to know about my ED, and that's probably *exactly* the case for everyone else too. Sometimes I take a peek at people's knuckles to see if they're anything like mine.
PS I didn't go digging for the info. It was in a Facebook post about mental health awareness.
It was going so well
/u/WeighingDown [5'2" | 108 | 20.46 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 18 22:30:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dyn3t/it_was_going_so_well/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Finally one month purge free but I've gained 4 kg (9 lbs)
/u/olivegreenblack [165 | CW 64 | HW 70 | LW 50.8 | GW 50 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 18 21:19:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dyak8/finally_one_month_purge_free_but_ive_gained_4_kg/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] It's been a while
/u/cookiecutterhands
Created: Sat Nov 18 21:05:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dy7xr/its_been_a_while/
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Two weeks ago, my dad made me promise to not cut and to eat way more. Since then, I've eaten so fucking much every day and I feel so guilty about it. I went from 110 to 118 in two weeks and I hate myself so much. I am really drunk right now and I can't help but touching my stomach and hips and feeling where the bone used to be. I just feel so helpless right now. All I want is to feel good about myself.
[Other] I hate when you have like one side of you telling you to eat then the other yelling at you to not be fat
/u/selfharmaccount123
Created: Sat Nov 18 20:11:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dxxwc/i_hate_when_you_have_like_one_side_of_you_telling/
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I hate when you have like one side of you telling you to eat then the other yelling at you to not be fat
[Discussion] boobs????
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW: 142 |CW: 125 |20.6 |GW 115 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 18 20:04:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dxw91/boobs/
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Totally TMI but I’ve gotten pretty thin everywhere besides my boobs! I feel like they won’t get smaller and honestly I wish they would. My boobs aren’t big, but I like the look of smaller boobs and I’m so annoyed that everything else got smaller except for them!
Does anyone else have this problem? Was there a certain weight when you noticed your boobs getting smaller?
[Discussion] Dehydration
/u/beatrizpardo
Created: Sat Nov 18 19:47:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dxsna/dehydration/
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[removed]
Dehydration
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 18 19:34:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dxq0k/dehydration/
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[deleted]
[Help] Binge eating and ADHD?
/u/knockofftoothpaste [166cm | 99 | 16.3 | 59 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 18 19:28:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dxouw/binge_eating_and_adhd/
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I'm wondering if there is a correlation?
For me my binging gets bad when I'm bored. I have nothing to do so I think, "fuck it! May as well stuff my face and then spend some time in the bathroom then do it all again!". I guess I do it because it fills up time.
When I'm out doing things during the day I don't get these feelings. It's just when I have nothing else to do.
I don't know if this makes anyyyyy sense or if my example is relateable. I just know that when I can't focus on anything, food helps fill that time.
Went up 7pounds in 2 days
/u/oFILo
Created: Sat Nov 18 19:13:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dxm2f/went_up_7pounds_in_2_days/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Let's talk beverages...what are your favorite sodas, teas etc or ways to prepare coffee?
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Sat Nov 18 18:37:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dxep2/lets_talk_beverageswhat_are_your_favorite_sodas/
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[Discussion] Anyone else feel like their eating disorder is you?
/u/DontMindMeJustBingin [183cm/6'0" | 58kg/128lbs | 16.64 | GW 58kg/128lbs | M]
Created: Sat Nov 18 18:36:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dxeik/anyone_else_feel_like_their_eating_disorder_is_you/
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Does anyone else feel like their eating disorder is you, rather than a part of you? I just feel like I have no redeeming qualities and that there is nothing interesting about me. Like I need my eating disorder just because it's the last thing I have left, and without it I would be an empty shell. Anyone else?
[Rant/Rave] My actual final wedding dress fitting was today.
/u/Wisdomtoothinquiry
Created: Sat Nov 18 17:51:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dx5fv/my_actual_final_wedding_dress_fitting_was_today/
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I went in today hoping to pick up my wedding dress after two alterations. I tried it on and my breasts are swimming in the top. My most recent fitting was one month ago and my weight hasn't changed since but I must have lost some inches, mostly in my boobs and waist.
The seamstress was obviously annoyed and asked if I had lost more weight. My mom immediately said "Yes, see I told you. She has." So, she now has to take it in again for the final pick up Monday, five days before the wedding. I don't know what I was thinking getting such a form fitting dress. This whole dress process has been miserable and the idea of intentionally maintaining a week before my wedding is stressing me out terribly. Also, I have no idea how much the alterations will cost now that she has had it brought in two more times. OH and also, I saw a bright white stain on the bottom of the dress that the seamstress brushed off, saying "oh I'll get that out." how and what the hell is it??
I'm sorry. I'm so stressed, I don't know what to do with myself. Love you guys. <3
[Discussion] Binging during menstrual cycle?
/u/skinthin [4'11 | 105 | 21.2 | 30 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Nov 18 17:41:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dx3cx/binging_during_menstrual_cycle/
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I've been binging hard, eating foods I thought I would never eat again and feeling so disgusting. I think it's because I'm on my period, but it could also be because I just started taking medications again that can cause increase of appetite but I've only been taking them for a few days, but I've never been like this during my period. DAE experience lack of control during their menstrual cycle? It's going to be the death of me. I usually have amazing self control, but now I'm not so confident about that.
[Rant/Rave] Found out that my parents knew about my ED behaviors as a teenager but never said anything
/u/kzxwy [5' 6" | CW: 129.0 | HW: 145.0 | GW: 115.0 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 18 17:39:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dx2yk/found_out_that_my_parents_knew_about_my_ed/
---
I was just talking to my mom and she told me "we knew that you would make yourself throw up after dinner even though you'd try to be sneaky about it. We never said anything because we figured it was a phase and you'd grow out of it".
Lol joke's on you mom it's 10 years later and I still haven't grown out of it!!!
Fml :))))
[Intro] 25/48 Hour Fast
/u/fuckingilluminated
Created: Sat Nov 18 17:13:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dwwzu/2548_hour_fast/
---
Hi, new to the community. Not new to having an ed. Falling back into old habits, kicking it off with a fast. Drinking lots of water. I did eat one chip, but that's all I've had for over 25 hours. Determined to keep going. Thanks!
25/48 Fast
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 18 17:02:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dwumg/2548_fast/
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[deleted]
[Tip] When you bring a big ass lunchbox, everyone assumes you eat ;)
/u/Tyrion_Stark
Created: Sat Nov 18 16:38:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dwpn3/when_you_bring_a_big_ass_lunchbox_everyone/
---
https://imgur.com/a/fFRA2
When you bring a big ass lunch box, everyone assumes you eat ;)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 18 16:28:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dwniq/when_you_bring_a_big_ass_lunch_box_everyone/
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https://imgur.com/pvsZKxB
[Goal] Breaking 100 and I'm going to be ok
/u/missalligator [5'2" | 99 lb | GW: 90 | BMI 18.7]
Created: Sat Nov 18 16:23:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dwm9b/breaking_100_and_im_going_to_be_ok/
---
Last week I made recovery a real, serious goal. Every time up until now I've only made baby steps, increasing to 800-900 a day and maintaining at 98-99 lbs. I've been lying to myself thinking that I'm healthy now. Its been 4 months "maintaining" but I still don't really touch carbs, no meat or dairy, no sugar, nothing over 150 cal per serving, no more than 350 per meal. Keeping these rules while "aiming" for 1200 isn't feasible. My hair is still falling out, I'm so cold all the time, my fingers and toes go numb being outside for 2 minutes, I haven't had my period for about 6 months now, I have bruises all over the backs of my legs just from the edge of my chair. I thought I was fine but I'm disillusioned now. And I know this is going to suck. Gaining the weight back is going to feel awful. Eating unsafe foods is going to feel awful.
I don't want to be sick anymore. I'm saying this as accountability and to affirm it for myself because the voice in my head screams "you need to keep losing, always keep losing, or you're failing. You don't want to get fat. You deserve to be sick". I need to realize I deserve health. I deserve to live. Even if I can't accept it in this moment, there are always those moments where I appreciate my friends and my life more than anything and then I feel so guilty and just hate myself for not showing my gratitude by actually putting in effort to get better. If I keep doing this the way I have been I'm going to keep steadily losing and end up really sick. Its only been 9 months since the beginning of this current relapse and I'm down 30 lbs, and I'm not even exercising at all. Who knows where I'd be in another year. Its been 7 years going now and 7 years too many. I can remember the first time I stepped on a scale, and how I stepped on it every day after that. I remember my first time researching diets; it was that same week. I want nothing more than to go back and tell that little girl she's throwing away her chance at a happy life.
I know Im up 4 lbs in 3 days due to increasing my intake just to 1100 and it sucks. And breaking 100 is going to suck, but I'm going to do it. I'm not setting a max weight that I'm going to stop gaining at because as soon as I hit that I'm going to back to my old habits. This is about ending habits. Ripping out the rules at the roots, starting today. I totally respect where all of you are at right now, and since I don't really have anyone in my life that knows about my disorder at all, at least I know I can confide in all you beautiful people and finally hold myself accountable. Today I am myself, real and honest, for the first time in 7 years.
[Discussion] Book update cause it's been too long!
/u/thinkthinlythrowaway [5'1.5 on a good day | CW 129.0 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 18 16:17:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dwktm/book_update_cause_its_been_too_long/
---
I'm so sorry it's been like 3 weeks. Honestly life got going and there's not much to update on so I just kept letting it slip by.
Anyways! Reminders: the book is still a thing!
I know lots of you are in school or work and haven't had down time to write anything which is why I haven't felt the need to bombard you all with no reason updates.
I just figured since it was almost break time for many schools cause of dreaded feast day I would pop in and say you could write your story now during this time and it might help!
I'm on mobile now but I'll link to past posts about the book for those of you who are utterly confused as to what the hell im talking about.
Just wanted to let you know I'm still doing it. You can still email me anonymously or not at lettersofmyed@gmail.com
And I'll update again probably in a month unless something crazy happens.
Stay safe y'all and I love you ❤️
If you want to keep in contact with me and pick my brain you can email me non book stuff or add me on peach (thinkthinlythrowaway)
Okay ❤️ have great day.
[Discussion] When did you start lying to loved ones?
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Sat Nov 18 15:36:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dwbjy/when_did_you_start_lying_to_loved_ones/
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My husband flat out confronted me about the fact he knew I wasn't going to be eating anything but dinner today.
I told him off for assuming something that he couldn't even prove and was purely hypothetical.
An hour later from work I called him and confessed my plan was to only have a juice all day and just solider on until dinner. We don't lie to each so the guilt was eating at me.
When did you start lying?
[Rant/Rave] I can't do this anymore.
/u/LostBrokenAndAfraid [5"10 | CW 195 | 170 | - 70 lbs | M]
Created: Sat Nov 18 15:26:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dw9dh/i_cant_do_this_anymore/
---
I don't know what to do anymore. I'm lost. I feel like I have nothing. On the outside, it looks like I'm a regular and functioning adult. Nobody knows about my struggle. None of my friends know. My family doesn't know. Do to my current situation (don't ask for details on this please) I am unable to seek professional treatment or do anything to try and fix it.
It's a vicious cycle. I swear to my self that THIS time, it'll be different. I'll stop binging and purging for good.
This time.
Then the next time.
Then the next time.
And the time after that.
This has been my mindset for the past four years.
"Oh, this time, I'll get it! I'll get out of this cycle and become who I've always wanted to be!"
I have so many goals in life. I'm actually going to school right now to be a dietician (Insert shitty prequel meme about Darth Plagueis and being able to save others and not myself.)
I've tried to talk about it with a few friends, and I hear the same thing every single time.
"Have some self control."
"If you want it badly enough you'll stop."
"You don't have an eating disorder, you're just fat."
Fuck off.
I don't fucking know what to do anymore. I can't keep living like this. Every time I binge, it's like my life loses all direction for the next week. My grades suffer. My relationships suffer. Everything suffers. But I can't stop. I just sit in my room and play video games or do some other mind-numbing task to try and distract myself from my own pain.
If I honestly dropped dead right now, I would take pleasure in knowing that at least I wouldn't need to suffer through this anymore, and honestly, I think that I'd rather be dead at this point.
Someone save me from myself.
[Discussion] Alone for the holidays December, so gonna use it as an excuse to crack down
/u/onlymildlyanxious
Created: Sat Nov 18 14:39:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dvyot/alone_for_the_holidays_december_so_gonna_use_it/
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So long story short, I graduated and got a job far away from my family and my boyfriend (we we're long distance anyways during college and it was hard - glad I moved tho, an absolutely amazing move for my career).
But I still have loans to pay and my salary is really low and I can't pay 2-3x normal air fare to see him or my family until about mid January when prices fall back down.
So I'll be alone during all the December holidays, and I'll have a lot of time since I won't have to work as much because no one else will be working. I won't have to communicate with anyone since they'll all be busy with families. I would be sad about this but it's honestly the perfect opportunity to get my shit together.
Normally I have to really watch my mood. My work is super interdisciplinary and I can't really afford to be cranky or tired. I also don't want to put my boyfriend through that, it's already hard enough long distance. So when I get hungry or fast too long, I can really tolerate the mood drop.
But next month I'll be able to. (: No friends to hang out with? No eating out! No need to cheer up and talk to anyone, and no need to be super productive at work. Just me, and learning how to truly cope with restricting. And Thanksgiving won't even be a problem because I'm having dinner with my boyfriend's family, who are all incredibly healthy mentally with food, and physically, and are vegetarian to boot. No greasy meats and sides. And they're all so skinny so it'll be great motivation.
I'm honestly excited.
[Rant/Rave] Full circle.
/u/mindover_madness
Created: Sat Nov 18 14:34:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dvxk2/full_circle/
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Don't mind me, mindless rant here.
In my early teens, during the height of my ED, I was desperate to break 100 pounds. One morning I woke up feeling like death: anxious, shaky, weak, and nauseas. I'd had issues with low blood sugar for a while. I stepped on the scale and saw 99.6. It was a strange feeling, one of so much joy and yet so much fear, because I could tell it was the beginning of the end. That day is forever burned into my memory.
This morning, I woke up feeling the same way. I had been fasting for about 35 hours in a desperate attempt to break 120 and my blood sugar had tanked as it always does. Shaky and nauseas, I stepped on the scale. 119.6. Same joy, same fear.
It feels like the beginning of the end again, only now I'm 20 pounds heavier and nearly 10 years older. I had a few good years of recovery after years of various forms of treatment, and now I'm right back to where I was mentally at 15. But now, I don't see myself getting out of this anymore, and I don't see myself wanting to.
[Rant/Rave] Hit a Plateau
/u/PsychoticPangolin [ SW 150 | CW 110 | GW 90 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 18 14:30:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dvwhf/hit_a_plateau/
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[removed]
[Tip] What's your guy's favorite gum flavors?
/u/breakingpointt
Created: Sat Nov 18 14:15:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dvt5t/whats_your_guys_favorite_gum_flavors/
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https://i.redd.it/ew2mvupavsyz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Hit a Pleateau
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 18 13:56:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dvoue/hit_a_pleateau/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Clothes are so small, but I'm not
/u/inba7
Created: Sat Nov 18 13:53:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dvo1e/clothes_are_so_small_but_im_not/
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I was ironing my clothes the other day and they are getting so small. But I have never felt so large.
When I go to the shops, I pull out clothes 2-3 sizes too big and try them on and am shocked that they don't fit. I thought it was that society is getting fat and sizes are getting bigger to make people feel better about themselves.
[Discussion] Does anyone else get horribly embarrassed at the grocery store?
/u/kwhateverrbye
Created: Sat Nov 18 13:47:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dvmp3/does_anyone_else_get_horribly_embarrassed_at_the/
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I get embarrassed at all the disgusting, processed, frozen, microwaveable, high-carb, high-calorie, added sugar, saturated fat and sodium crap that I pile into my basket. Praying no one in the grocery store makes eye contact or speaks to me. Knowing I'm gonna eat half, get disgusted with myself, cry, and eat the other half later. I'm gonna starve myself for about a week to purge. Gonna live on kale, carrots and other rabbit food for about another week before starting this vicious cycle all over again. Thank God for self check-outs.
[Discussion] Can't stop binging
/u/daisyhands
Created: Sat Nov 18 13:35:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dvk1s/cant_stop_binging/
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i've been binging for weeks. Literally like 7 weeks. over a month!!! i haven't gained but i haven't lost so i'm feeling really sad. i can't seem to stop. i used to have so much control but since my bmi has been "underweight" i can't stop! any ideas on what to do??
[Discussion] Post-Adderall Binging?
/u/nervous_nandu [5'5" | CW 120.6 | LW/GW 98| 20F]
Created: Sat Nov 18 12:56:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dvayn/postadderall_binging/
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Hi all! I take Adderall on the weekdays when I have class at a pretty mild dose, and avoid taking it on weekends so my tolerance stays low. On the days I do take it of course, it’s super easy to keep my intake really low, but when the weekend comes around I eat way too much and gain back all the weight I lost throughout the week. Does anyone know how to avoid gorging myself on Adderall come downs and off days? I hate ruining my progress with pasta every weekend.
[Intro] Crawling out of my cave to say hello
/u/cos-mo-not [5'3"| CW: 137 | BMI: 24| F]
Created: Sat Nov 18 12:44:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dv7ty/crawling_out_of_my_cave_to_say_hello/
---
Hi everyone!
I'm very super new to Reddit (posting, at least) and I finally decided to stop lurking because this community looks so lovely and supportive. I don't know how much I'll be posting, since I'm super shy, but I wanted to at least make myself known here.
A bit about me: I'm a technical third year university student, fighting both massive anxiety problems and disordered eating, coping with browsing Reddit and now Peach and whatever else I find.
Not the most interesting or detailed intro, I know, but nevertheless, thanks for looking.
Have a wonderful day/night!
[Help] I hate the ED cycle so much I'd rather die
/u/glorydaisy [5'3 | CW 123.6 | UGW 100]
Created: Sat Nov 18 12:07:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7duz4h/i_hate_the_ed_cycle_so_much_id_rather_die/
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It's been gone over so many times it's familiar. You start restricting. Then it gets worse worse worse until you feel like you can get better again. But it doesn't GET better because it's a never-ending cycle. It's just restarting.
The solution is to get so bad you can no longer physically carry on, and you no longer just feel sick, you look sick. And so the people around you, who would have to be total idiots to not know by that point, cant watch you carry on in good conscience. This is the end of your rope. Theres nothing left to do but to submit to recovery. The idea is, once you see just how horrible it can get, you'll feel like recovery is your only chance to escape the cycle. But unless you go into recovery completely broken down, the cycle will only restart again.
To get that bad has its risks. It could still kill me any day, and the longer it progresses, the more likely it is. But the thing is, I can't do this forever. I can't keep cycling through. I'd rather die than do that the rest of my life. I'd rather die.
[Rant/Rave] I give up.
/u/nvrgonnaleavethisBED [5'10"|too many|F]
Created: Sat Nov 18 11:51:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7duv15/i_give_up/
---
Today I went to the mall and in 8/10 stores the largest pair of jeans didn't fit my thighs. This being eastern europe, the sizes end at a US 12, but still. I've failed. Last year I cried when I realized I'd made it to 170 pounds and right now I'm sitting at 190 and realizing that this is just going to be my life forever. Just gaining weight every time I have a crisis.
I've been depressed all year, and apparently been 15kg worth of depressed because thats how much I gained since last June. I'm currently on Wellbutrin. med number 7 I've tried, which hasn't done shit for my appetite and I'm still suicidal every time I look too long at my body in a mirror.
My pdoc can't help me and at this point wants to put me on medications that DEFINITELY cause weight gain just because I can still feel this awful this often. Either way I'm leaving for the holidays so I won't be able to see him for weeks.
I wish I could cut the fat off of myself. I'm not strong enough to restrict anymore. I just end up binging within hours every time I do. Theres probably not even anything chemically wrong with me that I need the meds for, I'm just a terrible person with no self control. I should've killed myself years ago, but I can't cross that line, just like I can't cross the line into laxatives and vomiting.
I don't know why I'm even posting this.
[Rant/Rave] Just how warped my brain really is.
/u/i-awesomesauce-you [5'6" | CW: 137.5 lbs | HW: 156 lbs | GW: 111 lbs | F23]
Created: Sat Nov 18 11:31:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7duqj2/just_how_warped_my_brain_really_is/
---
I got on the scale this morning for the first time since Wednesday (reallllly trying not to let it control my life), and saw I had only lost half a pound. Since last Saturday, I'm 3.5 pounds down, but I'm like, so genuinely upset that it wasn't more between Wednesday and today. And I know I should be happy, but I'm just like... not.
I keep telling myself that once I hit arbitrary goals I'll be happier, and the first time, I genuinely was. When I was in the 140s for the first time in ages, I felt so genuinely pleased... for about ten minutes. And then it was this need to be in the 130s, and now that I'm in the 130s, I need to be in the 120s.
Just pissed at my stupid brain and needing to vent.
[Discussion] DAE: After losing a number I once thought I would be happy at joe terrifies me?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 18 11:03:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dujmg/dae_after_losing_a_number_i_once_thought_i_would/
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[deleted]
[Help] Is there any way to reduce waist size?
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 111 | GW: 100 | M/15]
Created: Sat Nov 18 10:32:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7duc99/is_there_any_way_to_reduce_waist_size/
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Like I have 10 lb to lose but it's already 23" so idk if I'll be able to get it any smaller from that alone. Losing weight can only do so much and about 21" is the point where people start writing BuzzFeed articles about you and shit, am I just stuck here?
[Rant/Rave] ED brain is all too real
/u/mintslut
Created: Sat Nov 18 09:30:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dtxs0/ed_brain_is_all_too_real/
---
After a couple days of my weight trending upwards, I unintentionally fasted on Thursday and woke up to my weight from before donating blood. Yay! I was back on track, right?
Wrong.
I ate 423 calories last night, and gained 0.4lbs. So of course, my ED brain takes this to mean that I can only ever lose weight if I fast. Never mind that I had about 600mg of sodium (and I'm pretty sure you're supposed to have even more than that). Never mind that I haven't pooped in a couple of days.
Nope, the only thing my brain is getting out of this is that if I eat, I gain weight. No matter how little I eat, I will gain weight.
Despite the frustration, I still don't feel like I need to binge. Though the thought did cross my mind, it was more of a, "In the past, this would've made me binge" rather than an actual compulsion to binge.
Anyway, I just really want to be 115 on the dot by Monday. That's 1.2lbs in two days... I guess that means restricting my carbs intake to below 50 if possible, and keeping count of my sodium intake. Maybe I had more than 600 yesterday without realizing. I'll also be upping my water intake just to be certain I'm not dehydrated (though my pee isn't dark at all or anything).
[Discussion] DAE eat particularly stinky (cheese, fish, etc) food during or after meals just to discourage themselves from purging it back out?
/u/antha19 [5'6"| cw: 152lbs | bmi:24.63 | female]
Created: Sat Nov 18 09:03:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dtrg7/dae_eat_particularly_stinky_cheese_fish_etc_food/
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the smell/the idea of such food coming back up seems so disgusting to me, it keeps me from throwing it up. so i eat these kinds of food as a safeguard from purging so i could at least keep some calories in me for the day so i dont pass out. lol
[Rant/Rave] Ate 4000 calories yesterday but at least it was all vegan...
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 57.2 | 19.11/18.89 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 18 08:46:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dtnlp/ate_4000_calories_yesterday_but_at_least_it_was/
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Fucking shoot me.
[Rant/Rave] Well, that's a pleasant surprise
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 18 08:06:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dtfeh/well_thats_a_pleasant_surprise/
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So I spent a very quick 2 weeks in a ED PHP program (no joke because my insurance said I "wasn't thin enough") and because they want weight restoration (irony is not lost on me in this case) kept getting bumped up on my meal plan. Granted, 2 weeks isn't enough to make big changes but of course the ED was convinced I grew exponentially.
I finally got curious about my weight: 121.4 this morning. 20 lbs down since May, just 10 to go to my low. I was motivated to recover for a little bit, but the barriers to getting help are now too great for anyone (including my providers who are actually great) to get past. Now our goals are just functioning with a raging ED which fuck, is fine by me. The binging and purging was all I wanted to get rid of, and that's decreased substantially since last year. So I'm fasting for the first time in over a month and I'm shooting until Monday night. I'm back to lying (mostly) about my intake to my people because honesty would get me fired and I want to leave the door open to recovery if it's in the cards for me in the future. But right now, since I legitimately have zero repercussions for restricting, I want to see if I can get back there and possibly lower.
[Help] What are some of your hobbies or activities that you GENUINELY enjoy doing to pass the time?
/u/pedaling-backwards [5'2 | 8 lbs to go | 20F]
Created: Sat Nov 18 07:29:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dt7xz/what_are_some_of_your_hobbies_or_activities_that/
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lmao i know this post is OD *pathetic* but i genuinely feel stuck and i feel like you guys would understand
I'm home nearly 24/7 due to being unemployed and taking mostly online courses, and I found that most of my daily activities (Netflix, video games, etc.) are things I no longer enjoy doing -- at least not for having them be the *sole* focus of my days. I find that I just wake up every morning and painfully monitor the clock, waiting for the day to be over, the only things I look forward to being reaching my weight loss goals (which I mess up the majority of the time anyways due to binging).
I've been socially isolated for a few years after my ED and anxiety worsened, so I don't have any IRL friends to go see, but I'm really getting tired of this exhausting existence. I'm clearly not ready for recovery for my ED, but I can't keep using it as an excuse to be a shut-in.
What are some hobbies or activities that you do that you actually like? I'm thinking about doing something everyday even as simple as walking to the grocery store or a coffee shop to buy something, or bringing my dog to a park and play fetch with him. As simple as those things sound, at least it'd be a step in the right direction.
wow typing this out I realize how pitiful my life currently is
[Discussion] November 18th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 18 07:27:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dt7iu/november_18th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What is your dream job?
[Rant/Rave] Disgusted with people's bodies (plot twist, it's me)
/u/curvylucifer [5'2 | gw 115 | -50lbs | F]
Created: Sat Nov 18 06:23:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dsvlk/disgusted_with_peoples_bodies_plot_twist_its_me/
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On mobile, can I get a flair up in here?
Y'all are gonna think I'm an asshole but here goes nothing:
I'm a massage therapist and I admit that fat peoples bodies grosses me out.
I put my hands on these people everyday and I can't imagine how they let themselves get to this type of obese. I try not to gag when I have to roll their fat through my fingers, and try to be understanding when they have to breathe heavy to turn themselves over.
I'm not just talking about your average person who has 10-20 lbs to lose. I've been there before and I have been through the struggle of losing on the upwards of 50lbs. I mean obese people!
I know this sounds mean and pathetic but it genuinely triggers my ED to put my hands on fat rolls day in and day out. Granted, I much prefer to work with some meat rather than none.
On the other side, I feel enamored to look at bones when a very skinny person gets on my table. I try not to stare out of respect for my clients, but if they're especially skinny I always feel a deep fire of motivation in me.
I try to practice unconditional positive regard to EVERYBODY but this is a deep dark secret for me, and I'm ashamed of it because these people come to me undressed and baring all expecting a loving, open person to massage them without bias.
I feel horrible.
[Help] has anyone done the master cleanse? i'm subbing maple syrup with honey.
/u/throw_away_fattie
Created: Sat Nov 18 06:15:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dsuar/has_anyone_done_the_master_cleanse_im_subbing/
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[removed]
[Tip] Meds are great if you remember to take them
/u/MelodyJoy90
Created: Sat Nov 18 05:35:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dsnl0/meds_are_great_if_you_remember_to_take_them/
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I’m on relatively weight-neutral medications except my lamictal which, by virtue of keeping my mania in check, increases my impulse control and I’ve been able to minimize binging and compulsive shopping. Saving so much money!
But that was background.
this morning I was fixated on some pizza my roommate said I could have that was in fridge and I was scared the effects of the lamictal was wearing off and I won’t be able to keep the binge eating in check anymore, and then I realized....I hadn’t taken it yet today.
Now I’m gonna sit here, in front of the tv, and wait the 30min-hour for the pill to work its magic. And the Wellbutrin. Wellbutrin also increases impulse control.
[Rant/Rave] I don't want to get better
/u/FeedMeDreams [5'5" | 66.6kg | 24.8 | F | bulimic]
Created: Sat Nov 18 05:13:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dsk85/i_dont_want_to_get_better/
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I want to get so unwell that I feel like I'm 'allowed' to kill myself. Every good day that I have feels like a disappointment. Every success in my life feels like a failure. Every time I feel good, I feel bad for *not* feeling bad. If I just got properly, thoroughly, undeniably depressed, I could end it and no one would blame me. But I can't kill myself just to get away from my responsibilities. I can't decide if I'm trying to improve my life or dismantle it.
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! November 18, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Nov 18 05:11:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dsjtz/stupid_questions_saturday_november_18_2017/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for November 18, 2017.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 18, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Nov 18 05:10:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dsjom/daily_food_diary_november_18_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 18, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] So excited for Victoria Secret show this year!
/u/vulpixies [5'4" | CW 123 | 24F]
Created: Sat Nov 18 03:30:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ds5r7/so_excited_for_victoria_secret_show_this_year/
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Srsly when I'm laying in bed hungry all I do is binge watch old Vic Secret shows on youtube and I'm so excited for new material to obsess over. (When what I eat in a day videos arent satisfying enough) what do you binge watch to get through?
[Rant/Rave] Why are the side effects always weight gain?
/u/Tyrion_Stark
Created: Sat Nov 18 03:01:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ds1kb/why_are_the_side_effects_always_weight_gain/
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I have treatment resistant depression and I've been on practically every med known to man at some point in my life. The only thing that ever worked for me was ECT (electroconvulsive therapy).
I'm really low again, but my insurance wont cover most of the cost of ECT, so my doc put me on a new med that he's had some success with. Can you guess what the most common side effect is?
Ugh. My boyfriend said "what if it works and you feel a million times better but you gain a little weight?"
Um how would I feel a million times better if I'm fat?!??
[Intro] Hi again
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | CW 160.2 | 25.96 | -.9 | GW 128 | 22F]
Created: Sat Nov 18 02:48:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7drzsu/hi_again/
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I’ve been around on the sub for almost two years and was heavily active like 8 months ago? More like a year. Life changes have changed things enough to make a reintroduction.
I’m 5’6” and 161.1lbs (73ish kg). I’m nine lbs away from the weight at which I said I’d kill myself. I still think I will. But I don’t want to die. Not quite yet. So that’s my motivation.
Anyway, what I’m gonna call “The Triggering” (I think I’m funny) started in the weirdest way. I’m on the fourth anniversary of my rape, boyfriend and I have gone through a series of problems in the relationship, work sucks the joy out of my life, I hate the country I live in. So all this shit and I’m reading a book, but guess what, the main character has an eating disorder but it’s not even the main point of the book. But it goes on and on about how she measures, feels, etc. and I’m like...oh shit dat me.
Then weighed myself the next day (obviously after being self destructive and drinking 2 bottles of soju) at 161.
Here I am. I’m back, and this is all I have right now
Christmas is my favorite
/u/clairethelibrarian [Height 5’6’’ | CW 130 | BMI 21 | Gender 24F]
Created: Sat Nov 18 02:37:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dryav/christmas_is_my_favorite/
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For as long as I can remember, the holidays have always struck a chord inside of me that makes my eating disorder go into overdrive.
Growing up, I always felt so compelled to look especially good at family gatherings- I think this was perpetuated through my mom’s disordered eating- around the holidays she would always make comments about how she needed to ‘be good’ around food since everyone would see her so soon. There is such irony in baking hundreds of Christmas cookies, but not being allowed to eat a single one.
It rubbed off on me, the anticipation of the holidays being coupled with counting calories and spending hours in front of the mirror before parties, taking my time getting dressed, making sure everything looked as perfect as I possibly could.
I feel like I’m floating on air for two consecutive months- November and December are so full of joy for the holidays, but also because I feel my eating (or lack of eating) is tied in so tightly to winter. I love how especially vibrant everything is. And being high on a fast only brightens that feeling.
Every year, I picture myself 20 or 30 lbs lighter and looking beautiful in a dress on Christmas Eve. I usually never make it to my goal weight. And I never feel perfect.
But each year I grow closer, and the idea of that makes me so happy.
[Rant/Rave] Wearing retainers whilst purging...
/u/laurasia3oo2
Created: Sat Nov 18 01:57:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7drsp2/wearing_retainers_whilst_purging/
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So I have some retainers that I got given by the orthodontist about a year ago. There's not really a set time when I stop wearing them, hell I can stop now if I want to but I am scared of my teeth moving back. I wear them like 3 nights a week. I had a great idea a few days ago, I could wear them whilst purging to reduce the bad effects from stomach acid onto my actual teeth. I feel like if this actually worked then wouldn't everyone who purged regularly do this? Anyway I don't know if it will actually work but who knows?
[Other] Peach names!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 18 01:06:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7drlmk/peach_names/
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[deleted]
Scrumptious Low Cal Vegan Soup
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 17 23:44:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dr9pq/scrumptious_low_cal_vegan_soup/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Does anyone else binge in retaliation for other people eating your food?
/u/1172271310153823
Created: Fri Nov 17 23:39:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dr8yv/does_anyone_else_binge_in_retaliation_for_other/
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The other day, I went to get the lucky charms I bought about a week ago but haven’t touched, and I noticed the bag had been opened. I was furioussss, I had only been planning on pouring out a bowl, but instead I took the whole box up to my room with me and ate the rest of it. So no one else could have it.
Normally I’m not that weird/possessive about food (my friends and I always offer to share stuff), but at home there are some snacks I keep in a cabinet downstairs that I buy just for myself, while the rest of my family keeps the communal snacks/meal food in the kitchen area. I guess I was just mad no one asked me, kinda immature tho since I don’t have to ask anyone to take from the household snacks. i dunno i just feel gross, whoever ate my lucky charms only ate like 10% so there went 1500+ calories to fuel my misery and guilt
[Tip] Scrumptious Low Calorie Vegan Soup
/u/poisonousivyleague
Created: Fri Nov 17 23:28:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dr797/scrumptious_low_calorie_vegan_soup/
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Long time lurker, first time poster. I just had to mention this great soup I got at Whole Foods a month ago, and since I haven't seen any posts about it yet, felt the need to share. It's Tsubi soup, and it's very filling and comes in great flavors, all low calorie. So far I've tried the white miso soup with seaweed and tofu (40 cal), as well as the spicy red miso soup with mushrooms and green onion (35 cal). There's also a third flavor which I have yet to get my hands on, the miso soup with spinach, crunchy cabbage and carrots (35 cal). From what I've tried, though, the spicy red miso with mushrooms is my favorite, the meatiness of the mushrooms makes it a hearty meal. It's available in some Whole Foods in MA and RI, as well as Amazon Prime. The price tag is steep (4 packets for $12.95), but considering the cost of Halo Top, I figured it was worth mentioning.
[Rant/Rave] “You’re so tiny”
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Fri Nov 17 23:13:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dr4vd/youre_so_tiny/
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[removed]
[Discussion] I think I just won the prize for most disgusting binge food combo. What is your most noteworthy binge concoction?
/u/inconceivable-- [20F | 5'5'' | (treatment rip) | GW 95lbs]
Created: Fri Nov 17 22:58:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dr2d1/i_think_i_just_won_the_prize_for_most_disgusting/
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I just ate an inordinate number of raisins dipped in butter. Congratulations me!
Hit me with your most shameful binge memories!
Currently binging on my bf's rice
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 17 21:19:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dqla1/currently_binging_on_my_bfs_rice/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dqla1/currently_binging_on_my_bfs_rice/
[Rant/Rave] I just had a very intense purge session
/u/Keiwii [5'2 | GW1:120| UGW:90 | -45lbs]
Created: Fri Nov 17 21:15:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dqklu/i_just_had_a_very_intense_purge_session/
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[removed]
@ a food based party and just wanna roll over
/u/LOdowwnlorettabrown
Created: Fri Nov 17 20:51:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dqg1i/a_food_based_party_and_just_wanna_roll_over/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Friday night ramblings
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 17 20:49:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dqfmk/friday_night_ramblings/
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[deleted]
Fuck this
/u/vctrlcs [5'6" | CW: 155.8 | GW: 130 | UGW: 115 | BMI: 25.1 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 17 20:48:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dqff6/fuck_this/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE feel guilty for not heavy restricting (despite continuing to lose weight)?
/u/athrowaway76250 [5'4" | CW: 103ish | BMI: 18ish | GW: 100 | SW: 119 | 24F]
Created: Fri Nov 17 20:47:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dqf7t/dae_feel_guilty_for_not_heavy_restricting_despite/
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I calculate my TDEE with a sedentary activity level despite having a fairly active job (dancer), because I want to know what it should be on days I'm not working. It comes out to ~1400, so I aim for 1000 calories/day (~400 deficit), but allow myself more on work days (up to 1400, depending how much I danced that day and how hungry I am after work). I do this because I don't want to pass out at work, and can't afford to lose my job.
But even though logically I know three things—
1. I cannot make it through a work week if I eat less than 1000 calories/day. (I've tried).
2. I *am* eating at a deficit, and *will* keep losing weight if I stick to it.
3. Progress has been fairly steady at this calorie budget, despite small fluctuations (fuck you, water weight).
—I still feel really guilty when I see my food log sitting at 1000-1400 cal for the day. Even on the days I know I've danced for 2+ hours, and *know* that means it was okay to eat extra, I feel bad about it.
Anyone else feel this way about not heavy restricting (regardless of whether your reasons are different than mine)?
[Discussion] To the bone?
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW: 142 |CW: 125 |20.6 |GW 115 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 17 20:44:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dqeq4/to_the_bone/
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I’m sure this has been talked about on here before but what do you guys think of the film To The Bone on Netflix?
I remember the first time I watched it it kind of inspired me almost. It definitely was one of the factors that threw me balls deep into having a full blown ED. Did anyone else have a similar experience?
[Rant/Rave] I can’t decide if I feel accomplished or like a failure.
/u/QueenOfFoxes
Created: Fri Nov 17 20:21:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dqa66/i_cant_decide_if_i_feel_accomplished_or_like_a/
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I’ve been trapped the same weight for a week now, eating sub 800 calories a day. Today I decided to bump up to 1100-1200 to try and get out of the plateau and get a workout in.
Breakfast was my standard. One pics of low cal toast (45), a piece of cheese (50) and a fried egg (70). I packed cottage cheese for lunch and forgot to eat it, left it in the fridge for tomorrow. I took my vitamins (15) and drank a sugar free Red Bull (13).
Went to the gym after work. 30 minutes on the bike (-235) and some body weight exercises (planks, bridges, squats and leg raises).
Got home and started making dinner. A whole bag of broccoli and cauliflower with a tablespoon of butter (220) and grilled chicken (341). I was going to make twice as much chicken and a bag of rice but I added up the calories and I sit couldn’t bring myself to do it. It was just too much.
Barely finished my dinner, nauseous as all hell from the high volume of food.
Total calories, 772. Subtracting exercise, 537. There’s just no way I’m eating anything more tonight.
My mind is both at ease and panicked. I know I need to up my calories for at least a day, but it feels impossible. I know I should have eaten more throughout the day, but at first kept putting it off and promising myself I would deal with it later. Then I totally forgot.
Someone tell me how to feel so I don’t have to figure it out for myself.
[Help] I fucked up
/u/oFILo
Created: Fri Nov 17 19:13:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dpw26/i_fucked_up/
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Fasted for a day and then ate nothing but vegetables the next but then right when I thought I was safe from the binge monster for the day I fucked up and had a worse binge than I have ever had in my life so 1700 calories later and now I am sitting thinking how the fuck do I get rid of it allllll cause apparently (learned today) laxatives don't help and I have never been able to successfully purge worse part about it is that I was down 3 pounds and so happy today
[Discussion] Come join me in this sound-proof room to scream your frustrations.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW: 141.4 | UGW 105 | 25/F]
Created: Fri Nov 17 18:40:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dpp9x/come_join_me_in_this_soundproof_room_to_scream/
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LEAVE MY FOOD CHOICES ALONE.
LET ME FAST IN PEACE.
FUCK THE HOLIDAYS.
WHY DO I NEED TO GAIN 5 POUNDS DURING MY PERIOD.
MY HIPS LOOK SO FUCKING HUGE TODAY.
--
Thank you for joining. Today's scream fest has been brought to you by holiday baking. Holiday baking: look, touch, smell, but never taste.
[Rant/Rave] I know so much about recovery I could write a book on it myself. So why am I not recovering?
/u/Dr0pDex [172cm | 45.3kg | 15.04]
Created: Fri Nov 17 17:58:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dpgc5/i_know_so_much_about_recovery_i_could_write_a/
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I've been through every blog, every forum, every book, even medical research papers. I know how things are supposed to work. I know how much better my life could be if I just took that huge, scary step.
Yet I'm not going to because...reasons.
[Help] 26 hr fast > wine > 24 hr fast
/u/filthypit
Created: Fri Nov 17 17:12:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dp5zz/26_hr_fast_wine_24_hr_fast/
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Looking for advice: I need some depression wallowing aides. Music, movies, readings, etc.
I’m like on the verge of being able to feel something. What do yall do?
[Rant/Rave] Family lunch with beautiful sister in law
/u/Fibreoptic_Calico
Created: Fri Nov 17 17:09:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dp5dj/family_lunch_with_beautiful_sister_in_law/
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I've been doing so well and now we are going for a family dinner with parents, grandparents and my sister in law. Thing is she is perfect. Wonderful with kids, really really nice, beautiful and so skinny. I am such a fat frump next to her with a shit personality and socially inept. Man, next to her I'm such a poor excuse for a human. She's a 10 and I'm a 2 at best.
Just needed to rant and get that off my chest really. Like the food part isn't bad enough, I'm next to the most beautiful, skinny and lovely person. Colour me triggered.
Why am I like this? 😩
[Rant/Rave] Rip me here's why
/u/Polarplaid
Created: Fri Nov 17 16:58:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dp2xs/rip_me_heres_why/
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Let me introduce myself as a first time poster. I just need to rant I don't care who's listening. Here it goes.
I last weighed myself in August (132) There's no scale at my house and basically not one within reach. I have no way to check progress except for body checks, so it's going to make everything weight loss wise feel impossibly slow.
This weekend I'm going to my mom's and she has junk food in sight all the time (candy, cookies, chips) I always stress tf out before I go to her house on the weekends. (Always wind up binging btw) Thursday is Thanksgiving and I also have a bunch of family gatherings this week so I'm prone to eat alot. I really don't want my relatives to notice my anxiety about food and how much I've lost. They always lecture me about being healthy(btw they're the same people that told me I was fat and should hit the gym)
[Help] How do I stop binging when I realize I'm losing faster than the 'deadlines' I set for myself?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 17 16:20:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7doucs/how_do_i_stop_binging_when_i_realize_im_losing/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] How do you know you have Body Dysmorphia?
/u/coffeebean27
Created: Fri Nov 17 16:12:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dos74/how_do_you_know_you_have_body_dysmorphia/
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Everyone one has been telling me I look skinny and this week, I had someone tell me something everyday. My coach says she’s concerned and I lied (obviously) but it made me think about how others see me. I kept looking at the mirror and I feel like I look the same. I mean I don’t see myself as overly obese but “average” with some fat on my legs and stomach. I haven’t weighed myself so I have no idea how much I’ve lost.
So I guess what I’m trying to get here is, how did you guys figure out you had BDD?
[Help] amount of calories retained after purging?
/u/kittencow
Created: Fri Nov 17 16:01:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dopnt/amount_of_calories_retained_after_purging/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Christmas...
/u/Jerrabella
Created: Fri Nov 17 15:54:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7donyv/christmas/
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On mobile so no flare sorry!
I have just realised how ducking close Christmas is (UK so luckily no thanksgiving) and I am so terrified. I’m heading home and my mum is a feeder. She’ll keep offering food until I eat. I was at my HW when back at home and Christmas was always a disaster.
Anyone have any advice or are in the same boat?!
[Rant/Rave] My World is Falling Apart... And I Kind of Just Want it to Burn
/u/kvikerdragen [5'6.5" | 21F | CW 117.0 | GW 111 | HW 182]
Created: Fri Nov 17 15:42:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dol59/my_world_is_falling_apart_and_i_kind_of_just_want/
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I've been stuck in a binge cycle for two weeks.
I purge everything I eat, regardless of the calories.
I was awake for nearly 60 hours in a stretch.
I started smoking.
I skipped class more in the last two weeks than the whole rest of the semester.
I made several pretty risky long walks through sketchy parts of town at midnight.
I just actively threw away the only friendship I have.
--
I went to a counselor on campus yesterday and told him all of the things that had been going on (Not including today's binging/purging and destroying the friendship since they hadn't happened yet). He said it was likely due to the stress from all the anniversaries of hospitalization and running away and shit that's going on for me right now, plus stress about moving in a couple weeks, stress about finals, stress about my abusive living situation, the list goes on.
I'm just so done with it all. I'm super close to completely giving up and doing reckless things until I get hospitalized. I don't know how I'm going to make it through to December at this rate.
I know this is super ranty and only like sort of related to food. I just had to get it out. Sorry.
[Other] besides reddit, are there any other proed communities you’d recommend?
/u/always_struggling
Created: Fri Nov 17 15:03:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dockz/besides_reddit_are_there_any_other_proed/
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[Rant/Rave] MY WORK BROUGHT DONUTS
/u/ParanoidPancreas [5'11" | CW 157 | -16 | UGW 138]
Created: Fri Nov 17 14:35:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7do68y/my_work_brought_donuts/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Of COURSE I can lose as fast as an obese person who had weight loss surgery!
/u/Eau_De_Chloroform
Created: Fri Nov 17 14:17:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7do1wp/of_course_i_can_lose_as_fast_as_an_obese_person/
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So a close friend recently got bariatric surgery. I totally support her positivity, work, and endless stream of comparison selfies.
And, of course, low key it's a big competition in my head. I ask her what her calorie intake is like now, how many sizes/inches she's lost. I really AM happy for her. But I also make a note etched in stone and fire in my head.
I KNOW there's no possible way I can lose weight at the same pace because she started out big enough (just barely) to qualify and HAD FUCKING SURGERY. But I can't stop myself.
It's physically impossible for me to lose weight at the same rate as her, but my disordered habits have gotten so much worse because I know I'm trying to match it anyway. And I feel like I'm failing when I don't.
She posts a selfie with numbers. I love it and post a support reply. Then think to myself YEP NEXT WEEKS GOALS, BITCH.
On one hand I hate it because I'm playing a secret competition game that I can't win. But on the other hand it's gotten me some pretty amazing results recently.
I guess I'm just afraid that eventually making it in to an impossible competition will eventually discourage me to the point of a 4 month long binge-fest? I mean....I kind of don't care if I feel like I'm failing all of the time if I'm still getting results?
Does any one else have any experience competing with a bariatric patient? Did you just get results or did you end up with more binging?
I am a super shitty friend that I'm supportive on the outside but secretly just want everyone to be fatter than me :(
[Rant/Rave] Dining Hall closed for thanksgiving
/u/Lalaluc
Created: Fri Nov 17 14:12:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7do0vl/dining_hall_closed_for_thanksgiving/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Of COURSE I can loose at the same rate as an obese person who had weight loss surgery!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 17 14:08:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dnzwc/of_course_i_can_loose_at_the_same_rate_as_an/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Today's success
/u/HungryBunnyXXL [5'10 | CW 136 | GW 120 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 17 14:01:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dny3s/todays_success/
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I put on like 20ish lbs after HS. I don't think I hit "overweight" but I was at the high end of healthy. Now 22, I was over at my parents trying on some clothes with my mom. I've been restricting pretty good for a few months now and I'm back to almost HS weight. My mom was diagnosed with cancer last year, and subsequently lost a ton of weight. Today though, her pants were too big for me. She kept commenting on how skinny I was and asked how I lost so much weight (oh just 1200 cal a day, you know ;) but even when we would get off the subject, and hour later she would say something like, "I'm just kind of worried about how little you weigh!" And about how jealous she was that I "stole her figure"
Neither of us are large (just tall) but she has made my month. I also weighed in today cause I don't have a scale at home and dropped another few lbs this week, even after drinking a ton:)
Does it motivate you seeing your thin friends gain weight?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 17 14:00:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dny01/does_it_motivate_you_seeing_your_thin_friends/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] [help][discussion] Losing weight but starting to slip up and want to binge. Help! How do you keep motivation?
/u/mynormalheart
Created: Fri Nov 17 13:54:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dnwlt/helpdiscussion_losing_weight_but_starting_to_slip/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I had a really nice moment today
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 111 | GW: 100 | M/15]
Created: Fri Nov 17 13:45:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dnuid/i_had_a_really_nice_moment_today/
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Alright so basically at my school, there's [these] (http://valiantproductsinc.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Slider-Vending-Machines.jpg) kinds of vending machines, except the hole at the bottom is a little bigger and in one of them the vending machine is missing leaving just the empty cage. Today at lunch me and my friends were talking about fitting through the hole at the bottom where you get the drinks from and I was able to fit through very easily, while they weren't able to get in cause they were too big. It felt really good and I'm proud of myself
[Rant/Rave] Told my parents how bad my ed is getting ans
/u/skydiver89 [skinny fat AF at 5'4" and 142 lbs]
Created: Fri Nov 17 13:32:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dnrio/told_my_parents_how_bad_my_ed_is_getting_ans/
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My dad said I don't have a problem because I'm not 90 lbs, so I'm not anorexic! Hmmm then what day you call a person who binges once or twicr a week and then restricts heavily other days? I wonder...now I'm scared to even get help. I skipped an interview today because I was planning on not eating all day (I'd be working 930am to 6pm) and it didn't phase my parents at all. I just want to die. Also, ptsd flashbacks are killing me from my assault in July and I need help for that to and I know I can't tell them or I'd never hear the end of it. I feel so emotionally fucked. No one thinks my illnesses are big deals. I cannot live this way forever or I'll kill myself. I've already started cutting myself again. I wish I could have someone take me seriously....
And apparently I can't spell either because my brain hurts and I'm starving.
[Discussion] Does anyone make sure they weigh less than when they last saw the doctor when they have a doctor visit?
/u/ThermalAnvil [15 lbs lost]
Created: Fri Nov 17 13:31:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dnr7y/does_anyone_make_sure_they_weigh_less_than_when/
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I hate it being on record that I gained weight. Last month I got weighed at the doctors office at a whopping 232. I knew I had my check up coming up and the start of last week I was sitting at 224 so I was pretty happy that it would be under my previous recorded weight.
I go and step on the scale during my check up and it reads 222! Ever since last week I haven't weighed myself, scared that I've binged back to 230 somehow. But this morning I sucked it up and saw I'm at 221.8! I haven't been able to go under 219 so heres hoping I break that in the next month and keep it off!
[Discussion] DAE crave citrus after eating greasy food?
/u/edthrowawaywhoops [5'9"| CW: 130| GW: Kate Middleton| F|🍑:Whoopsie]
Created: Fri Nov 17 13:08:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dnlv5/dae_crave_citrus_after_eating_greasy_food/
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Been craving pizza lately and I found this ginormous frozen slice at the grocery store that was 270 cals so I planned it into my day, and it was delicious, but very cheese-heavy. And kinda greasy. And now I'm haaaardcore craving citrus. Like, lemon in my water or even an apple slice or something. It's happened to me a couple times before when I've had greasier food than usual....anyone else ever experience this?
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] First time poster — Need to Vent
/u/PrettyMe_PrettyYou
Created: Fri Nov 17 12:16:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dn9hr/rant_first_time_poster_need_to_vent/
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On mobile: please tag as a rant.
Hi there. I’ve been a long-time lurker but I just made an alt so I could post. 21F 5’9” CW: 154 SW: 186 GW: 125 UGW: ???
Anyway, onto the rant. I’ve been doing really well recently restricting under 600Cal per day. I have a semi-formal dance coming up tomorrow and I wanted to look slightly less disgusting in my dress. My SO already declined to go with me, so the least I can do is not look pathetically fat AND lonely.
This morning at work, we had a catered event. I tried so hard to eat in moderation: some quinoa and fruit only. Under 300Cal. But then the sandwiches came. And chips. And brownies. And UGH. I completely binged and it wasn’t even noon yet.
The worst part was, with the amount of people at this event, it was almost impossible to find a discrete bathroom to purge. Thank God for staff restrooms.
Why am I like this? I haven’t had a full meal without purging in weeks. I can’t stand having my stomach feel full, but stuffing myself is all I can think about all day. I wish I could have a normal meal without binging or feeling guilty.
[Help] Academic Research request for online interview participants
/u/takeaminuet
Created: Fri Nov 17 12:05:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dn6o0/academic_research_request_for_online_interview/
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[removed]
[Discussion] nausea from hunger
/u/citygirlcitymind
Created: Fri Nov 17 12:03:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dn653/nausea_from_hunger/
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i don’t mind the hunger pains (annoying but mainly harmless) but there comes a point where the pangs give way to nausea, which can be so bad that i can’t even drink water. i know it’s just hunger but is there any way to help the nausea without actually eating?
[Rant/Rave] I have no concept of TDEE
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: who knows? | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 17 11:30:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dmxqk/i_have_no_concept_of_tdee/
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Does anyone else's ED make them think "I burn 1500 calories by just being alive? Sounds fake." Whenever I eat my TDEE's worth of calories I always think I'm going to gain that amount back and I have to remind myself that vigorously exercising isn't the only way to burn calories.
[Help] Does eating pasta make you retain more water compared to other foods?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 17 11:30:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dmxq4/does_eating_pasta_make_you_retain_more_water/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Thoughts about mirror-time
/u/bearantenna8611
Created: Fri Nov 17 11:17:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dmuw1/thoughts_about_mirrortime/
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Does anyone else spend time in front of the mirror pinching/holding back fat and hoping that I’ll magically stay that way when you let go? I spend so much time doing this with my thighs and love handles. I’ll go look at least 2-3 times a day. I don’t know why I do this because it’s the literal definition of insanity expecting a different result from repeating the same action, and then I leave the bathroom feeling more annoyed than I was when I first went in. Speaking of mirrors, I have a preferred mirror in the house. I’ve determined the one in the downstairs bathroom is the most forgiving, and I often refuse to stare at myself (full body) or check my outfits in other mirrors in the house.
[Rant/Rave] I’m so frustrated I could scream.
/u/QueenOfFoxes
Created: Fri Nov 17 11:14:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dmub5/im_so_frustrated_i_could_scream/
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My calories have not exceeded 800 per day in 10 days. Most days it’s closer to 500. Sometimes below. No progress. The scale won’t fucking budge. This morning I shoot up 6 pounds. Try again. 4 pounds. Try again. Exact same weight I’ve been seeing for the last 10 days.
Try a second scale. 1lb below the weight I’ve been seeing.
Try a third. 2 lbs above the weight I’ve been seeing.
Im so frustrated. I know if I’m patient it will pass and I’ll start losing again, but it’s just so frustrating to not see the scale move and then to have to play scale hopscotch. I just want to know how much I weigh and continue to lose when I deserve to be losing!!
[Other] C/Sed chips and sour cream. Do people really put this stuff in their bodies?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 17 10:27:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dmilo/csed_chips_and_sour_cream_do_people_really_put/
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https://i.redd.it/avqbnxrrlkyz.jpg
[Discussion] fasting in uncharted territory
/u/glorydaisy [5'3 | CW 125.8 | UGW 100]
Created: Fri Nov 17 10:23:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dmhlr/fasting_in_uncharted_territory/
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Prior to this week, the longest I'd ever fasted was 51 hours. Today, as I write this, It has been 84 hours since I last ate.
I usually look at other people planning their fasts and even three days seemed impossible to me. And now I keep going without being completely cognizant of it. I don't have a goal regarding how long I want this fast to last, I figured I'd just keep going until it became impossible to continue. But it raises the question: is that such a good idea? What are the risks to continuing blindly, and am I in danger? I feel fine.
[Discussion] [Discussion] When did your ED start? Do you ever want to help people who are just like you?
/u/dbt-girl
Created: Fri Nov 17 10:16:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dmg2c/discussion_when_did_your_ed_start_do_you_ever/
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I see people who have trouble tagging on mobile. I have the opposite problem. I know how to tag on mobile but not on my laptop. Did I do it right?
Anyway, just wondering when your ED started for you. As an adult (24F), I tend to think *I can handle myself and choose this life if I want,* but then when I see high school students (I work in a school district) who display some of the ED beliefs/behaviors/appearance, I freak out and go into White Knight mode... in my mind. I don't actually act on it or really say anything, but goddamn I'm a hypocrite.
I just really care about people ;-; especially our kids. You know? I wish I could help them and be like, "yoooo, so you're awesome and I wish you could see that you're awesome and shit and part of knowing you're awesome is respecting yourself. So yeah can you do that plz."
Also kills me when girls are like, "omg she eats so much but she's sooo skinny!" Doesn't mean shit! You never know who's on a b/p cycle.
[Discussion] EDs & Shopping Addiction
/u/rulesofrestraint [5'2 | cw 102 | 19.3 | -33 | gw 100 | 22 F]
Created: Fri Nov 17 10:10:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dmeim/eds_shopping_addiction/
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Long time lurker, first time poster here... you all know the spiel :)
Since my ED has gotten worse over the past 5 months, I feel like I've developed a shopping addiction. I buy expensive clothes. Frequently. Impulsively. I know it goes hand in hand with my ED (my lack of self-control has just transferred from food onto material objects), but I feel like it goes further than that, too. Buying clothes in the smallest size is not only a reward for reaching that weight, but also a way of guilting myself into *maintaining* that weight. Like, it's already wasteful to spend all this money on clothes, let alone clothes that won't fit in 1 month's time. I feel like the ED and shopping addiction just feed into one another, and leave me feeling guilty and over-indulgent no matter what.
I'm sure this can't be that uncommon. Have any of you dealt with something like this? Anyone able to overcome it?
[Discussion] How do you treat yourself after a shitty day?
/u/pleasegodnofuck [5'3 | 852lbs | 155.1 | -11lbs | ?]
Created: Fri Nov 17 09:49:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dm9f2/how_do_you_treat_yourself_after_a_shitty_day/
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Last night I ate an entire bag of chips and am looking for better ways to self-soothe.
[Rant/Rave] Weighed myself in preparation for Thanksgiving break
/u/cuttoarose
Created: Fri Nov 17 09:37:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dm6d4/weighed_myself_in_preparation_for_thanksgiving/
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And I have more or less maintained, but I'm not gonna lie the loss of 7 or so ounces makes me less nervous. I have lost 12 pounds since school started and I am very pleased. I will be at home for a whole week. I will eat mindfully. I will eat without fear as much as I can. I will exercise. I will get through this week knowing that every time I have stepped on a scale since school started it has gone down. I am at a weight I would have KILLED to be at last summer, its been my dream to be here. And I am grateful. Happy Thanksgiving ya'll. Good Luck.
[Discussion] DAE have a daily routine that they feel they have to follow?
/u/the-nervous-shadow
Created: Fri Nov 17 09:28:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dm48v/dae_have_a_daily_routine_that_they_feel_they_have/
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And if you do not follow it you keep guilt-tripping yourself all day?
[Other] Small victory... but also a defeat
/u/serenityswild
Created: Fri Nov 17 09:16:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dm14b/small_victory_but_also_a_defeat/
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I've been restricting for a while now but I'm obviously not perfect.
I've had major issues with binging in the past (I have a stomach ache just thinking about it).
Well, I binged last night.
But I used to binge like 2000 calories (chips, cookies, chocolate) and I've definitely brought it down a bit.
Last nights binge consisted of:
3 spoons of peanut butter
5 fruit snaps
2 single serve packs of gold fish
I feel terrible today, but I'm glad that I've at least gotten a little bit better.
Minor victories are better than no victories
[Rant/Rave] A former friend texted me yesterday.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 17 09:06:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dly9q/a_former_friend_texted_me_yesterday/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] YA’LL WERE FUCKING RIGHT
/u/FireForSale [27F| 5'2.5" | LW: 92 | GW: 103 | CW: 187]
Created: Fri Nov 17 08:59:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dlwjo/yall_were_fucking_right/
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(On mobile, tag as rant/rave)
My floor is warped. Like really warped.
I went out and bought a new scale since my other one was upsetting me so much. Got home. Set up. All is good. I weigh myself the next morning.
183... *VICTORY!*
The next day. 189. The fucking fuck?
The next day? 182. HOORAY. WHOOSHING? Don’t know don’t care!
Yesterday? 188. I cried.
This morning?
.
.
.
.
179
I found the sweet spot. The (hopefully) accurate spot.
I’m back in the 70’s. And I got put on a new migraine medication that is notorious for weight loss.
***YIPEE KI YAY MOTHER FUCKERS!***
[Rant/Rave] "What did you eat today? You need to eat."
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW: 141.4 | UGW 105 | 25/F]
Created: Fri Nov 17 08:46:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dlt7g/what_did_you_eat_today_you_need_to_eat/
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Early days of ED: "I had some food earlier. I'll eat in a bit again." and various excuses and actual effort.
Now my replies are just 'Stop' and 'I can take care of myself, I'm 25 ffs'.
I miss living alone and not being called out for anything. Now I'm told I need to eat breakfast all the time despite not eating breakfast for literally years now. I'm not hungry when I wake up.
As a kid, I could eat a fucking Costco sized box of cookies in a weekend and my mother would say nothing of concern. 6 boxes of fruit roll ups? Totally fine. I did swim and water polo in high school, so I could eat like a beast.
But skip one fucking meal or eat a normal portion and all eyes are upon me. My mother will humble brag about forgetting to eat and only having Pepsi until dinner. But if I've only had a coffee by 10am, then I'm starving myself and running on nothing.
I cannot wait to move out and away again so I can be in peace again. My eating habits are pointed out, but also any emotional change. I'm introverted and my family still doesn't get it. But they feel the need to point out if my mood isn't how they like. Fuck all of this.
[Help] What do you do when you're surrounded by people all the time? Agh Thanksgiving week woes.
/u/am_i_the_grasshole [5'8 | CW:122 | 18.6 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 17 08:30:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dlp8v/what_do_you_do_when_youre_surrounded_by_people/
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Normally I'm alone all day. I'm job hunting and living with family, so usually everyone I know is busy at work or school.
However, this week is thanksgiving week and now everybody is about to be milling around the house a lot more than usual.
I've done so well this week, and I'm pretty sure next week is going to cancel everything out because already people are talking about brunch at a local place that doesn't have calorie counts tomorrow morning and all sorts of stuff like that.
What do you guys do in this situation? I'm the type of person who is completely averse to anyone noticing I'm doing anything out of the ordinary. I want to go unnoticed entirely with this sort of thing, but how....
[Rant/Rave] DAE watch 10,000 calorie challenges?
/u/bitsybones [5'2 | -140 | 25.6 | 137 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 17 08:25:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dlo0b/dae_watch_10000_calorie_challenges/
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YouTube is how I spend most of my free time when I’m trying to distract myself from binge eating. I’ve developed a weird obsession with watching food challenges. The amount of food these people consume is so disgusting and intriguing at the same time, and it amazes me that they can eat AAALLL that food and not think disordered, guilty thoughts afterward? lol.
[Help] how do i curve constant hunger and prevent binging?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 17 08:18:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dlm1r/how_do_i_curve_constant_hunger_and_prevent_binging/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Why did I buy this 🙃🙂🙃🙂🙃🙂
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 17 07:13:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dl6t3/why_did_i_buy_this/
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https://i.redd.it/dxxt3bj8njyz.jpg
[Discussion] EC stack causing dry mouth and eyes?
/u/NegativeOscillation [5'9" | CW: 147 lbs | GW: 115 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Nov 17 07:05:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dl4vy/ec_stack_causing_dry_mouth_and_eyes/
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Hi all, I started an EC stack about a week ago and ever since then my mouth and eyes feel extremely dry all the time. BUT, it’s also the changing of the seasons and that means the air here in Colorado is even drier than normal, so it could be just a result of that.
Anyone else experience dryness on an EC stack? I also have been drinking so much water but my pee is still very dark (sorry if TMI). I just want to figure out why I’m feeling so dry lately!
Update: I upped my fluid intake even further and ate a “real” meal for the first time in over a week, and - aside from being uncomfortably full and fighting the urge to purge or take lax - my mouth and eyes feel less dry and my pee has lightened to a more normal color. Thanks for the advice, you’re all lovely <3
[Discussion] Thoughts on meal replacement shakes + recommendations?
/u/z4ynmalik [5'3 | CW: 107 | GW: 95 🌻]
Created: Fri Nov 17 07:02:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dl4do/thoughts_on_meal_replacement_shakes/
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Are meal replacement shakes sustaining throughout the day for a college student? I’m always worried about not eating enough food to be able to focus on schoolwork during the day. Any thoughts/opinions would be appreciated 💞
[Discussion] November 17th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 17 06:57:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dl31t/november_17th_2017_question_of_the_day/
---
Which friend(s) did you last speak to?
[Help] Constantly worried that any weight I lose is just water weight.
/u/vitalogy95
Created: Fri Nov 17 06:37:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dkywk/constantly_worried_that_any_weight_i_lose_is_just/
---
Is there any way to tell? If I’m well hydrated does that mean it’s likely not just water weight being lost?
[Discussion] Nosey colleagues...
/u/Jerrabella
Created: Fri Nov 17 06:22:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dkvjw/nosey_colleagues/
---
How do you guys deal with nosey colleagues? I’ve just started a new job and the girl I sit next to always comments on what I’m eating.
I am no where near my low weight and have gained a TON! But she always comments every lunch and whenever I turn down biscuits or snacks. It’s pissing me right off!
[Edit: Sorry on mobile so cant flare!]
It's 13:17. I've already binged on over 2k cals and chewed and spat a donut in my university toilets.
/u/Elope
Created: Fri Nov 17 06:19:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dkuno/its_1317_ive_already_binged_on_over_2k_cals_and/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Preparations for a Date/Special Event
/u/em_pty [6'0 | CW 149.24 | SW 176 | GW 138 | UGW 120 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 17 06:10:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dkswj/preparations_for_a_datespecial_event/
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Is there any routine you do before going on a date? Do you prepare a head of time or on the day of?
If you don't have any dates, what is your usual routine for a specific event you're looking forward to?
I have a date in the next week and am planning to continue my under 1,000 calories per day along with a water/food fast the day of.
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! November 17, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Nov 17 05:13:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dkhyy/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for November 17, 2017.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 17, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Nov 17 05:13:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dkhy6/daily_food_diary_november_17_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 17, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] My roommate brought back an apple pie from the store [rant/rave]
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | CW: 125 | GW: small | F]
Created: Fri Nov 17 03:19:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7djz0r/my_roommate_brought_back_an_apple_pie_from_the/
---
Pray for me fam
[Rant/Rave] Ruining my sleeping schedule just to avoid food
/u/pieceofegg
Created: Fri Nov 17 03:07:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7djwx3/ruining_my_sleeping_schedule_just_to_avoid_food/
---
I'm on some kind of middle ground with food right now. I'm not obsessively counting calories like I used to just a little bit ago, but food isn't exactly a joy either. I'm definitely eating less on purpose. I've been staying up til 5 am every night just to avoid having to eat and deal with cravings and all that. My belly is growling as I type this. I know that soon, I'll leave the middle ground and either go back to my binge eating disorder or count every single calorie I consume. I'll find out which eventually.
[Discussion] How many calories do you think are in 1 large cup of steeped teavana herbal teas with no sugar
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Fri Nov 17 02:57:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7djv7f/how_many_calories_do_you_think_are_in_1_large_cup/
---
I love teavana’s herbal teas (like peach tranquility and raspberry balsamico and basically every other flavor) and I’ll make a large cup (24 oz) with about a tbsp of the dried tea mix (which doesn’t have any actual tea—it’s mostly dried fruit and flowers and flavoring), and sweeten it with liquid stevia.
So there’s no calories from sweetener, but I’m infusing my water with dried fruit so I must be getting some calories from that.
How many would you guess?
[Discussion] Does Anyone Keep a Journal of Their Thoughts?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 17 02:49:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dju12/does_anyone_keep_a_journal_of_their_thoughts/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] peach
/u/alanananana
Created: Fri Nov 17 02:32:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7djrib/peach/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] STOP TRYING TO FEED ME!
/u/IttyBittyBatty [5'5"| -14.6lb | F]
Created: Fri Nov 17 01:25:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7djgx6/stop_trying_to_feed_me/
---
To preface: I don't make a lot of money. I don't live a luxurious life, but I make do and am more or less content with my state of being at this moment.
That said all my older friends and in particular my mother have seemenly taken it upon themselves to try to feed me at any given moment.
Fix someone's computer: oh, I made you a pie. 😑
Go for coffee: it's on me sweetie, would you like a muffin? 😑
Visit for an hour: oh, btw I made dinner -- it's everything, and wine. Oh and I already wrapped up a ton of leftovers for you to take home. 😑
STOP TRYING TO FEED ME!!!!!
/rant
Edit: grammar and spelling
[Discussion] What do you eat before you work out?
/u/little-paws
Created: Fri Nov 17 01:15:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7djfdb/what_do_you_eat_before_you_work_out/
---
I have a weirdly irrational fear of going to the gym on an empty stomach when I'm restricting and losing concentration and falling off the treadmill.
What is something that you eat before you work out to give you energy?
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] my boyfriend encourages me to lose weight??? maybe
/u/chuuta [5'4 | 116.6 | 19.9 | gw 109 | female]
Created: Fri Nov 17 01:07:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dje36/rant_my_boyfriend_encourages_me_to_lose_weight/
---
okay, so.
This morning I told my boyfriend that I want to lose another 5-7 pounds and asked him what he thought about it. He explicitly told me "not if you're starving yourself" lmao but also he encouraged me to work out more and even offered to work out with me and I just??? Idk. Does he think I'm fat??? Does he suspect that I have an ED???? We've only been together for 4 months so he doesn't really know about my eating issues yet and I really don't know what to do. My self-esteem just plummeted ugh I just have nO IDEA HOw to interpret what he was saying
anyways I just had to get this off my chest bc I know you guys will understand, thanks for listening <3
[Rant/Rave] Water retention is a bitch
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 60.9 kg | BMI: 22.6 | -22.6 kg | 21F]
Created: Thu Nov 16 23:48:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dj0us/water_retention_is_a_bitch/
---
[removed]
I am the worst friend ever.
/u/Hannah-Girl
Created: Thu Nov 16 23:25:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7diwuw/i_am_the_worst_friend_ever/
---
[removed]
[Help] How do you guys cook things in pans without oil..?
/u/ForSnowfall
Created: Thu Nov 16 22:50:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dir59/how_do_you_guys_cook_things_in_pans_without_oil/
---
This is oddly phrased but it's late, and I don't really know how else to ask. Basically I'm talking about sautéing foods, and that general realm. Obviously oils aren't preferred, so do you use some other method? I always eat all my veggies raw (": It just occurred to me that I have an understanding community to ask. ((grateful for this sub)). Hopefully this was at least mildly coherent.
New favorite flavor. 😍
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 16 21:53:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7digfl/new_favorite_flavor/
---
https://i.redd.it/00fzi01bvgyz.jpg
[Discussion] DAE add extra calories to your logs just to be safe?
/u/oxygens_overrated [5'4|HW:150|CW:147|LW:113|GW:125 |F| ]
Created: Thu Nov 16 21:50:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7difs6/dae_add_extra_calories_to_your_logs_just_to_be/
---
Sometimes I'll open something like a quest bar, not even eat it, and still log it 😂 Almost all of the time I log slightly bigger portions than what I actually eat. Do you guys do this a lot?
[Discussion] Bulimic quirks thread? Feeling alone in my habits 😭
/u/CaptainBundiePants
Created: Thu Nov 16 21:06:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7di7dz/bulimic_quirks_thread_feeling_alone_in_my_habits/
---
I’m in the middle of a session and I never really talk to anyone about it for obvious reasons. These are hard times y’all 💔
[Discussion] Back
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 16 21:02:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7di6jr/back/
---
So I left here after going back to treatment for PTSD, the ED got worse and they sent me back to ED treatment. I wanted to try, but because the American healthcare system is just fucked I almost needed an attorney to get what I needed. Now I'm about to be booted from the lowest level of the program and I just don't fucking care anymore. My therapist wants me to wait a week to decide if I want to discharge, but I've made up my mind. I'm now dead set on getting below my lowest ever weight to see if it's possible to get there again. Outside of getting fired by my therapist I no longer have any consequences of my behaviors as my body has been a fucking tank through all of this.
I'm just ready to put this energy toward something that works for me.
[Rant/Rave] A mix of emotions about friends and ED’s
/u/waywardzero
Created: Thu Nov 16 21:01:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7di6iq/a_mix_of_emotions_about_friends_and_eds/
---
So a few days a go I was expecting to eat food with friends so to make room for it I didn’t eat that day until then. I have been suspecting one friend to have an ED for a while. It kind of feel like she’s pushing it off and saying the hers isn’t that bad compared to another mutual friend. I know this might be unreasonable to say but this has been my personal thing for years now, not telling anyone. Now it seems like everyone’s going to be getting a diagnosis of some kind and I feel like if I told anyone now I would be jumping on the band wagon and kinda glorifying an ED. Something like this has happened before but with depression and they all have gone to doctors but I can’t seem to tell anyone anything. Which for this I definitely don’t want to do because I am not near the weight I want to be. It just kinda pissed me off because no one even thought I could possible have an ED because I’m a fucking whale, even though I accidentally introduced one of my friends to pro Ana sites (I know I shouldn’t have and regret it). It also strangely gives me pride and motivation to lose more? It’s like I’m just better at hiding it then them but then again they couldn’t tell I’ve lost weight, even though I’ve lost 30 pounds within the last 3 months which is extremely frustrating. I got so angry and sad that when we were supposed to get food I left and fasted for two days.
There is a cheesy biscuit in my mouth at this very moment
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Thu Nov 16 20:52:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7di4ic/there_is_a_cheesy_biscuit_in_my_mouth_at_this/
---
[removed]
[Goal] fuck it!
/u/trashboating_ [5'1" | recovery | 🍑: aureiia]
Created: Thu Nov 16 20:35:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7di16x/fuck_it/
---
on mobile, tag as goal or other please :)
i'm gonna recover. gain. g a i n. gain weight. my goal is 100lbs. i'm 80 at the moment so it might take a while but fuck it. i deserve it. i deserve to get better and be happy and enjoy food and life and stop fucking comparing myself. i don't have a therapist or dietician so i'm gonna have to do it myself but i really, really want this and i believe i can do it.
y'all wanna know my stupid ass reason that kicked my ass into gear? i have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and i don't want them to comment on how underweight i am or how low my blood pressure is. i legit just wanna go in there in a year and be completely healthy. it sounds stupid but i know that if I get better physically, i'll get better mentally AND my anxiety and depression will improve. yeah.
sorry for ranting.
[Help] A question for those who live in the GTA..
/u/Idunnoking [5’1 | CW101 | GW95 | 16F✨]
Created: Thu Nov 16 19:37:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dhozj/a_question_for_those_who_live_in_the_gta/
---
I’m attending an open house at Ryerson university tomorrow and I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions for lunch, I was hoping to find a place that have their nutrition information provided but sometimes it can be difficult to find the low calorie options at chain restaurants that don’t seem too “suspicious” as I’m eating out with my dad (always getting salad..) . I’m vegetarian btw! Any tips are much appreciated :)
[Rant/Rave] It's never enough
/u/RossBoss95 [6'0 | 130 lbs | 19 BMI |22 Male]
Created: Thu Nov 16 19:22:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dhlrv/its_never_enough/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Having disordered eating while being a hypochondriac = A fantastic time~
/u/TSputnik [5'3" | CW 129 | HW 210 | UGW 100]
Created: Thu Nov 16 19:16:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dhk5w/having_disordered_eating_while_being_a/
---
Dizzy from fasting? I'm dying
Heart beats hard from binging? I'm dying
Heart beats fast from ECA stacking? I'm dying
Shaky hands? Dying. Stiff muscles? Dying. Dry mouth? Dying.
And the worst part is, I know it's always in my head, but what if IT'S NOT THIS TIME????
It's getting exhausting worrying that I'm dying all the time, ffs I just wanna hit my goal weight already so I can maintain and not worry that my dumb extreme weight loss tactics are killing me fffuufufck
[Other] Local Anorexic Still Way Too Fat
/u/AbandonEarth [:'(]
Created: Thu Nov 16 19:07:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dhi18/local_anorexic_still_way_too_fat/
---
https://local.theonion.com/local-anorexic-still-way-too-fat-1819564890
[Rant/Rave] Going to Therapy: Part 1
/u/RootBeerSoup
Created: Thu Nov 16 18:47:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dhebk/going_to_therapy_part_1/
---
First, realize you have a problem. This requires convincing (or at least quieting) the lying, manipulative bitch that is an ED that yes, this is a problem.
Then, confide in someone close to you about your problem.
Next, regret everything and spend some time trying to convince your confidant that you don't have a problem.
Now, after failing to convince anyone of anything, tell them that you can beat this on your own and it just takes some time and self-discipline.
Fail at beating anything other than yourself up. Listen to your confidant as they tell you to go fix the broken mess that is your current mental state.
Tell them you'll call your insurance this week and figure out next steps.
Realize it's almost Friday and fuck you really don't want to go to therapy because they'll make you fat again. Plan to call tomorrow and post on proEd to home yourself accountable. Flair: rant?
[Tip] Thank god for burger king side salads! Cheap, and only 60cal!
/u/NotStephany [5'5| 193 | 32.49 | -101lbs | F]
Created: Thu Nov 16 18:44:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dhdny/thank_god_for_burger_king_side_salads_cheap_and/
---
https://i.redd.it/upmqq50jxfyz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] drugs + ed = not good
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | 120.3 | 19.4 | 13.4kg | 27.7-]
Created: Thu Nov 16 18:40:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dhcui/drugs_ed_not_good/
---
okay so story time: last year u was on a shitton of drugs (mainly amphetamine, but i messed with a bunch of other stuff too) so I'd been fasting for 96 hours at this point and I m out for a powerwalk. At the side of the road, there's half a fudgy brownie.
Yep. On the ground. I don't know how long it's been there, but I begin to completrly fixate on it. I try to walk by it, but I can't forget about it.
I hide it under my coat and decide to bring it home for when I'm going to end my fast. Now, of course, I can't bring it inside, bc what if my mom notices I'm eating??? She would think I'm a Fattie™\and cease LovingMe.exe. So I hide it under the hedge outside my house. I cover it with a few dead leaves, so nobody will see it. I figure that I'm only leaving it out for about 12 hours, so it'll be fine(???)
It's about 4 PM now, which means bed time. I manage to get to sleep somehow, but I can't stop thinking about the brownie. I wake up at 2 in the morning and my fixation on the brownie is so strong now, that I can't sleep.
I sneak out my window and run out to the front of the house. The brownie's still there. Thank god, am I right lads??? I run in and sit on my bed. With my hands, I take a handful out of the brownie and shove it into my mouth.
I feel something move. I feel a lot of things move. I'm still incredibly hazy, so I keep chewing slowly. It takes me about 10 seconds before I look at the cake.
Worms. A good 30(?) In the whole cake, I'd estimate.
I spit it out and start crying hysterically, because now I can't eat my cake. I try to calm myself by hugging one of my teddy bears. . I masturbate(?) and manage to fall asleep.
I'm awakened at 4 AM by something crawling in my hair. Now, I've had enough.i start crying, then I go out into the kitchen and grab a fistful of spaghetti and eat it. At this point, my dad comes down.
I tell him I was just looking for diet coke. Then I go into my room, dusts some of the maggots off and sleep for another miserable half an hour.
TL;DR: i have a sad life
tag as rant. I posted this as a comment like five mins ago, but I need y'all to feel better about yourself. And to do vegetables, stay in drugs and eat school.
[Intro] Somewhat delayed intro...
/u/theotherbird [5'6" | 145lbs | 24.05 | GW 125 | 29F]
Created: Thu Nov 16 18:38:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dhchr/somewhat_delayed_intro/
---
Hey, friends. I've been lurking here/subscribed for the past month or so and just commented on a post for the first time, so I suppose it's time to introduce myself, and hope that it's okay for me to be here?
I'm 29, married, mother of a nearly-2yo. I've never been formally diagnosed with an ED, but reflecting on it now, I've always had a pretty unhealthy relationship with food--awkward binge/restrict cycles since middle school, constant loathing of my body, etc. And of course, pregnancy/postpartum body changes didn't help the situation.
There are a handful of non-tragic but complicating factors that make my life pretty miserable right now. I've always had depressive tendencies, and have developed some probably run-of-the-mill anxiety, but the past couple of years have been particularly bad. My situation is short-term and should smooth out in a year or so...but I'm struggling to deal right now, and have taken a complete nosedive into ED land. Being really hardcore about tracking food and restricting is weirdly helpful as a distraction from general freaking out, and seeing the numbers go down on the scale and having my husband tell me that I "feel small" is such an outrageous high. It's like if so little else in my life is okay or in my control right now, maybe at least I can get to a place where I look in the mirror and am not disappointed?
Anyhow. It's comforting to find a safe space where people "get it" on some level. Reading posts and comments, I really appreciate how you guys all seem so incredibly kind. So, thanks for existing! :)
[Rant/Rave] 107 (RAVE)
/u/light_as_a_feather04 [5'6 | 108 | 17.4 | GW: 98| 34/F]
Created: Thu Nov 16 18:30:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dhayl/107_rave/
---
Last night I decided to put new batteries in both digital scales. I had to know if the scale I had been using the last few months was accurate (when my boyfriend and I moved in together, he already had a digital scale and I’m a weirdo and don’t trust any other scale than my own. My scale’s batteries died a few months ago and I’ve been relying on his scale). So since last night they’ve been side by side on the bathroom floor. My boyfriend weighed himself a few moments ago as he was telling me about his day. He weighed 107 lbs more than me! I weigh 107. My boyfriend is literally twice my size.
I am developing bulimia but I want to stop.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 16 18:03:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dh58b/i_am_developing_bulimia_but_i_want_to_stop/
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[deleted]
[Tip] Does anybody have any tips on eating at a Mexican restaurant?
/u/trop_mince [5'8" | CW: 129.4 | 19.46 | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 16 17:52:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dh2no/does_anybody_have_any_tips_on_eating_at_a_mexican/
---
Saturday, I’m eating out for brunch, which was fine, but now I’m also eating Mexican food for dinner. I have no idea what to get, and I’m so stressed out I feel like crying.
Edit: I’m sorry, I’m on mobile and forgot to flair.
[Discussion] Is alcohol really the enemy of weightloss?
/u/MiniKittiii_3
Created: Thu Nov 16 17:34:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dgysa/is_alcohol_really_the_enemy_of_weightloss/
---
I know, I know. Cals in, cals out. And alcohol calories add up fast. Plus binging is likelier. Sucks because I practically get PAID to drink, sort of (bartender), it helps my numbers go up, and I am more anxious without it and just not as fun at work.
I notice when I cut alcohol my weight diminishes. I just.. auuurgh. I feel so much freer with it. It makes me a little sick though as it counteracts my meds.
Any of you LOST weight despite alcohol consumption?
Or any advice on what else to get the same mindset that alcohol gives without the calories? Weed makes me anxious and hungry. Coke doesn't last long then I'm back to anxious. Serious thiiiiis close 👌to just sniffing fucking paint.
In b4 "you need help". Fuck right off, mate.
edit: flair is discussion I guess.
[Rant/Rave] That moment you know you have a problem...
/u/zypherj [5'7" | cw 144 | BMI 22.5 | -66 | ugw 118]
Created: Thu Nov 16 17:05:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dgqz8/that_moment_you_know_you_have_a_problem/
---
https://i.redd.it/ij9njhs1cfyz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Who would win: Me or a 1600 calorie binge?
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Thu Nov 16 16:41:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dgj3v/who_would_win_me_or_a_1600_calorie_binge/
---
Spent the morning doing a party for the end of my course, and we all had to bring food. I brought donuts, fully intending to have one (220). Then someone else brought fruit, so I had a banana (121) and a fruit skewer (28). And then someone *else* brought croissants (300), and my day went to absolute shit.
We all went to Chick-Fil-A in the afternoon to “celebrate.” I binged and had a meal with fries (875). Everyone spent the whole lunch talking about how full they were and how much they needed to go on diets. My friend with an ED, who talked the week before about getting a sandwich with me ~for recovery solidarity~, got a salad. I felt so stupid sitting there eating absolute fried garbage for no reason. I didn’t even want it. I had to sit there biting the insides of my cheeks until they bled to keep from crying at the table with everyone there.
I spent the ride home crying, came home, took a ton of pills, and passed out to keep from purging and cutting
My life is so sad that it was ruined by a stupid sandwich.
[Rant/Rave] "Sometimes I just forget to eat! uwu"
/u/SomeoneCoolerThanYou [5'6" | CW 148.2 | -38.8 lbs | UGW 107 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Nov 16 16:38:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dgi4a/sometimes_i_just_forget_to_eat_uwu/
---
OKAY BUT LIKE FUCK YOU
HOW? LITERALLY HOW?????
I get being too depressed to eat. I get being so anxious you make yourself sick and can't eat. I get maybe not noticing the time until 2pm when you were going to eat lunch at 1. Okay, whatever. Fine.
BUT LIKE??? LITERALLY FORGETTING DINNER? MISSING LUNCH AND NOT EVEN REALIZING IT UNTIL DINNER TIME?
BULLSHIT THAT'S BULLSHIT I'M SO MAD. THE ONLY THING MY MIND IS EVER, E V E R FOCUSED ON IS FOOD. What I'm gonna eat, when I'm gonna eat it, what I just ate, what I wish I could eat, so on.
AND YOU'RE TELLING ME BECKY LITERALLY JUST FORGETS FOOD EXISTS
IF GOD'S REAL HE CAN MEET ME IN THE PARKING LOT RIGHT NOW FOR SOME ROUNDS
[Help] Protein Bars
/u/bowtruckleninja [5'3"|CW:115|GW:90|18F]
Created: Thu Nov 16 16:23:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dgdpd/protein_bars/
---
Is it okay to eat protein bars? They seem pretty filling to me, and even though they're calorie dense, they're way less than the other meals I've been eating lately. They're also easy to track on my food app. I've heard that they're good for meal replacements, and the kind that I found have a lot of nutrients with no bad stuff.
[Discussion] Worried a flatmate is onto me
/u/DontMindMeJustBingin [183cm/6'0" | 58kg/128lbs | 16.64 | GW 58kg/128lbs | M]
Created: Thu Nov 16 16:20:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dgd2b/worried_a_flatmate_is_onto_me/
---
So I'm worried that a flatmate is onto my eating habits. A few days ago she texted me asking me if I'm alright as I've seemed a little distant recently (because I've finally stopped binging) and a couple of days ago she texted me asking if I want any groceries from the shops, despite us living 50 meters away from it. Today she asked 3 times if I had eaten (I don't like lying so I just brushed it off and said not yet) and she also asked if I wanted her to cook me something (not happening haha). She also shared a vegan chocolate cake recipe with me (but she likes baking so that may have been a coincidence). I wouldn't be surprised if she also picked up on the fact that I don't consume any high calorie food (oil, nuts etc), and I walk all the time. I'm worried that one day she'll ask me if I have an eating disorder, and I won't know how to answer it. Should I be honest with her? Or will that lead her to try and make me recover? Has anyone had such experiences with friends who didn't know you before you developed an eating disorder, and started to catch on? Did they bring it up eventually, and how did you respond?
Also sorry for the missing flair, I'm on mobile.
[Tip] Reduce appetite INSTANTLY using this one weird trick!
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Thu Nov 16 16:20:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dgd1x/reduce_appetite_instantly_using_this_one_weird/
---
Buy ingredients for a delicious salad. Cut your vegetables (but DON'T wash them). Put your veggies in a bowl. Put your dressing and protein in the bowl. Season. Mix. Take it up to your room and prepare your favorite Youtube video to watch while you eat so you can escape from your debilitating depression for 10 minutes. Take your first bite, and VOILA! YOUR STUPID SALAD WILL BE GRITTY WITH DIRT AND SHIT BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T WASH YOUR DAMN VEGETABLES, AND YOU WILL BE SO DISGUSTED AND FRUSTRATED YOU WILL JUST CRY YOURSELF TO SLEEP INSTEAD.
You're *super* welcome.
[Discussion] Jamba Juice recommendations?
/u/NegativeOscillation [5'9" | CW: 147 lbs | GW: 115 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Nov 16 16:08:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dgalv/jamba_juice_recommendations/
---
Have to there with a family member later today... what do you all recommend? Help!
[Rant/Rave] quit smoking... now I am eating everything in sight
/u/littlejanedoe- [5'1" |CW:123lbs | GW:115lbs | F]
Created: Thu Nov 16 16:03:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dg9q0/quit_smoking_now_i_am_eating_everything_in_sight/
---
I have hot had a cigarette for 5days! I am so proud of myself... but it has thrown my fasting down the shitter. I was so in control of my food before and would just have a smoke when I was craving. But not I am snacking/purging more than normal. I don't want to start again.. but I am also terrified of gaining weight because of it.
[Rant/Rave] a rant in haiku form.
/u/trashboating_ [5'1" | recovery | 🍑: aureiia]
Created: Thu Nov 16 16:03:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dg9kv/a_rant_in_haiku_form/
---
dont call someone with
disordered eating fat, you
piece of rotten shit
thank you for your time.
[Rant/Rave] Have you ever felt like you're going to die if you don't throw up?
/u/sweet-cutie-pie
Created: Thu Nov 16 15:52:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dg76m/have_you_ever_felt_like_youre_going_to_die_if_you/
---
[removed]
[Help] [help] is surgery while restricting dangerous?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 16 15:05:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dfxhf/help_is_surgery_while_restricting_dangerous/
---
[deleted]
Is surgery dangerous while restricting?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 16 15:03:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dfx3e/is_surgery_dangerous_while_restricting/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I can't believe it!
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 60.9 kg | BMI: 22.6 | -22.6 kg | 21F]
Created: Thu Nov 16 13:49:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dfee6/i_cant_believe_it/
---
A little rant.
It started soooo good today! Yesterday I stayed below 400 and today? Nope. I was below 200 until I got home from uni at 4pm today...and now I'm at 1100? Still below my TDEE but I am sooo pissed at myself. It will he pretty hard to restrict tomorrow, not only because I had lots of carbs today but also because I'll go out drinking tomorrow and I'll need to eat at least a little bit or I'll get really sick from the alcohol otherwise. To add insult to injury, I feel like a fat whale since I got out of bed today. Yay me.
[Help] I'm feeling so anxious
/u/little-paws
Created: Thu Nov 16 13:46:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dfdc5/im_feeling_so_anxious/
---
I'm currently on a semester abroad, studying in my non native language and I'm really on the verge of a panic attack.
There is a group project that is compulsory and I have no idea if I'm doing the right thing for my part of it and my language skills are making me look so stupid :(
I have another thing that I forgot I had to do and I didn't reply to an email for 3 weeks and I'm so anxious to respond now.
All I can think about every day is keeping my calories below 600, and I am not doing ANY work for school. I'm falling so far behind and I don't even know who I can talk to.
Any reassurance would be really welcome, you guys are great
[Rant/Rave] Welp.
/u/demonofequality [5'5"| CW: 125 | GW: 115 | 21.05 | -25 lbs| F]
Created: Thu Nov 16 13:05:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7df2gv/welp/
---
I made it 9 months and 11 days without purging.
I don’t wanna start again, but I don’t wanna stop. I wish I could just restrict hard enough so I didn’t feel the need to purge.
[Help] Better ways to puke.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 16 12:58:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7df0o4/better_ways_to_puke/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] DAE wish they could be a competitive eater to normalize their eating disorder?
/u/flaaffyusedthunder
Created: Thu Nov 16 12:55:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dezzd/dae_wish_they_could_be_a_competitive_eater_to/
---
I want to be the girl Matt Stonie sometimes when I feel like the binge monster inside me is winning.
Edit: please flair, I’m on mobile
[Discussion] DAE do the hunched over shuffle for a bit after standing up?
/u/deadlylikesugar
Created: Thu Nov 16 12:11:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7deobr/dae_do_the_hunched_over_shuffle_for_a_bit_after/
---
You know, when you stand up after sitting or laying for a while, and the whole room goes black and and you're just trying to walk it out without passing out? I just caught a glimpse of myself as my vision was coming back, completely hunched over and shuffling my feet like a little old lady. As ridiculous and pathetic as I looked, I couldn't help but think to myself, "Haha. Okay, I can appreciate the humor in this." 😂
Of course, I know that these little black outs aren't limited to people with ED's, but I find myself experiencing them muuuuch more frequently when I'm heavily restricting. I thought maybe some of you might be able to relate and enjoy the twisted humor in it with me!
[Help] :( weight gain
/u/bread444
Created: Thu Nov 16 12:02:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7delnh/weight_gain/
---
https://i.redd.it/htlcdi9rxdyz.jpg
[Discussion] What fo you get at diners?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: who knows? | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 16 11:49:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7deihu/what_fo_you_get_at_diners/
---
My boyfriend and I frequent the same one a lot and I'm tired of egg white omelettes and black coffee but everything else terrifies me because those burgers must have a million calories. Does anyone have suggestions?
[Other] Already my life motto, thanks Pepsi
/u/krecneps
Created: Thu Nov 16 11:17:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dea1b/already_my_life_motto_thanks_pepsi/
---
https://i.redd.it/xs72ltlqpdyz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Minor victory
/u/overdonesecret [5'3.5 | CW: 135 | GW: 95]
Created: Thu Nov 16 11:10:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7de8bs/minor_victory/
---
Ok so I'm a little nervous about posting this here because it seems like most of you eat less than 1000 calories a day, and I have literally zero self control and I don't wanna be judged. But, in my house we eat pizza once a month. And usually, I eat an entire large pepperoni pizza by myself and then feel awful after. But today, I only ate two slices. Like I said, it's a minor victory but I feel like I've at least made a little bit of progress with my self control and being able to stop before I finished the entire thing. I dont normally stop eating until there's nothing left for me to eat. Usually, I think "yeah I'll only eat two slices" but before I know it, I've gorged down the entire thing. But today I decided two slices was enough. I'm pretty happy about that.
[Discussion] Does anyone else get this way?
/u/tattoosandcoffeee [5'3.75 | CW 139| GW 100 | -20]
Created: Thu Nov 16 10:21:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ddvq4/does_anyone_else_get_this_way/
---
Does anyone else get so pissed off when plans are cancelled? I have a rage inside when I make dinner plans or just plans in general and friends bail. Its like I have a schedule set in my mind and get excited and then its crushed. It literally takes me like an hour to calm down and not be irritable and change my plans again in my mind. Welp guess im going to the gym tonight instead.
[Rant/Rave] ~had my intake~
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 102.9 | 18.8 | -34 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 16 09:42:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ddlpw/had_my_intake/
---
so, it went ok. they asked me a lot of questions about things, and scheduled a new appointment for after they've met with their team to discuss what is best for me. My boyfriend was in during the meeting, and he asked what we should do in the mean time while we wait for this appointment, and for after I get put on whatever waitlist - and they said I should maintain and not lose anymore weight. This seems pretty impossible - I have a fear of trying to maintain because I feel like it just turns into gaining. Also, I kind of feel like a failure if I go back in in two weeks and I'm the same weight as I am now :|
Idk dudes and dudettes.
[Help] Calories burned while dancing
/u/bearantenna8611
Created: Thu Nov 16 09:37:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ddkdp/calories_burned_while_dancing/
---
I was wondering if anyone could give me a better rough estimate of how many calories are burned during 30 min of dancing. I’ve tried some calculators online, but some don’t even have you input your stats, so I know they’re not very accurate. 27 F 5’8” 145lbs
Edit: Aerobic dancing
[Help] Starting therapy in Scotland soon. Can I be hospitalized if I talk about my ed?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 16 08:41:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dd6jm/starting_therapy_in_scotland_soon_can_i_be/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] The holidays are coming...
/u/silverkel
Created: Thu Nov 16 08:29:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dd3uj/the_holidays_are_coming/
---
And already I'm stressing out about going home and falling off my routine of fasting. The family meals where we all sit down together and HAVE to eat together and if you don't eat then its a personal insult to the person who made it and something's wrong with you and everyone is watching each other eat. And all of the sweet things that hang around the house just waiting for secretive binges. Ahhhh! I know its not even December but I am stressing hard already.
[Rant/Rave] I'm such a dumb alcoholic
/u/Borderline-Crazy
Created: Thu Nov 16 08:04:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dcy12/im_such_a_dumb_alcoholic/
---
[removed]
[Tip] Can't believe I never realized how low cal mushrooms are?? Friendship ended with broccoli.
/u/bagelzboi [5'3 | CW:83bs | GW: 13.5 BMI | 21F ]
Created: Thu Nov 16 08:01:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dcx7l/cant_believe_i_never_realized_how_low_cal/
---
https://imgur.com/kzfsV66
[Discussion] LGBT+ members of r/proED, do you think there is any correlation between your ED and not being straight and/or cisgendered? Why?
/u/95CHOI [M20 / -230lbs / RNY Gone Haywire]
Created: Thu Nov 16 06:27:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dcdf9/lgbt_members_of_rproed_do_you_think_there_is_any/
---
Would just like to hear other people’s experiences with this. Having a really hard time with self-hatred and disgust after hearing my family’s opinion’s on Australia’s yes vote yesterday. I’ve been accidentally fasting since because I’m too depressed to eat and even when I do, I don’t feel worthy enough for it. I have this idea in my head that if I get skinny enough, my gender dysphoria will go away and I’ll magically enjoy being my physical sex. But on the other hand, I want to starve myself down to nothing so I appear as an asexual being with no discernible sex characteristics at all. I don’t really like people knowing I’m trans online because it’s the only place I can be treated as if I’m not but idk... I just kinda need to vent. Maybe I’ll just delete this eventually idk....
I thought they were becoming more accepting but turns out it was all a facade they were putting up so they didn’t have to put up with my “”gay ally”” (lmaoooo yeah im still in that phase irl) rebuttal.
I can’t help but feel like my relationship with food wouldn’t be so fucked up of I did use it or use fasting as a coping mechanism for dealing with the fact that my family will never love or accept me. Anyone else have a similar problem/is it part of how your ED started?
EDIT: I should have worded this post a little better and with more specifics but unfortunately it’s too late to do that. I meant, do you think being queer and dealing with either external homophobia or transphobia from those around you (especially family) or the internal struggle to accept yourself or identify why you felt the way you did had any effect on your eating habits or if your ED developed as a coping mechanism for it. I appreciate the responses, it’s been interesting to read other experiences.
[Help] What the fuck is happening
/u/mintslut
Created: Thu Nov 16 06:06:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dc91u/what_the_fuck_is_happening/
---
So, I ate almost 1700 on Monday. A bit over maintenance, but not enough to gain actual weight. Yes, I expected to gain *some* weight in food and water. Went up 1.2lbs. Okay, that's fine. I'm not panicking.
Restricted on Tuesday to 600 calories. Went up another 0.5lbs???
Restricted yesterday to 350 calories. Went up yet another 0.2lbs!!!
What. Is. Happening?????
This is so frustrating. At this rate, I'll probably be fasting today. My only saving grace is somehow, I'm not tempted to binge. Can someone please explain this fuckery to me?
[Help] Tips on getting out of a binge cycle
/u/ceillman [5'6 | CW:125 | 19.6 | GW:116 | -15.4]
Created: Thu Nov 16 05:55:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dc702/tips_on_getting_out_of_a_binge_cycle/
---
After restricting for about 5 months I’m in my worst binge cycle yet - I work at a dessert bar so basically donuts, chocolate, fries etc every day. The more I binge the worse I feel the more I want to eat to feel better and it’s making me so miserable. I feel like I just want to die because I can’t regain control over myself. Pleeeeease give me your best tips for getting out of this rut because I’m at the stage where I just want to call in sick to work for a few days and avoid leaving the house to avoid the temptation of food:(
[Rant/Rave] Why can't i give it up for one day?
/u/325896471
Created: Thu Nov 16 05:48:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dc5qy/why_cant_i_give_it_up_for_one_day/
---
[removed]
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support November 16, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Nov 16 05:11:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dbzbb/weekly_emotional_support_november_16_2017/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 16, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Nov 16 05:10:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dbz5x/daily_food_diary_november_16_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 16, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] November 16th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 16 05:07:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dbyoj/november_16th_2017_question_of_the_day/
---
What are you obsessed with right now?
[Help] how many calories are in iced coffee from dunkin with no cream no sugar just mocha??
/u/cokesyrup [6'0 | CW: 173 | -35lbs | M]
Created: Thu Nov 16 05:05:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dbydg/how_many_calories_are_in_iced_coffee_from_dunkin/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I got called curvy today and it made me want to fucking die 🙃
/u/bronzeriver [5'3" | SW: 139 | CW: 131 | GW: 110 | 23F]
Created: Thu Nov 16 03:48:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dbmry/i_got_called_curvy_today_and_it_made_me_want_to/
---
She meant it as a compliment (she's stick thin and I low key obsess over her figure) but it hurt so much. I know I've gained weight since moving (I don't know how much because I don't have any scales) and I just feel like such a fat slob, but I didn't want to be reminded of it.
I wish I could stop eating so I could disappear entirely.
That would be so nice.
[Rant/Rave] So this is funny
/u/ihavetopee32
Created: Thu Nov 16 03:45:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dbmbx/so_this_is_funny/
---
I made a pb&j toast when my mother got home while I was chatting with her. I dipped the knife back into the pb and started to eat it off it and she completely lost her shit telling me to use a spoon and I could cut my mouth. I think she's just tired of seeing me since I moved in. Looking back it might have been a bit gross, but she went ape shit and I felt so bad and embarrassed. I guess I am a pig. Reee. I'm sleeping on the street tonight. Yay.
[Discussion] can we do another roll call thread of where we're all from?
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 101 | 17.9 | F 🍍]
Created: Thu Nov 16 03:43:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dbm68/can_we_do_another_roll_call_thread_of_where_were/
---
inspired by a post from yesterday about wishing we had an irl friend to talk to about all this ed junk, I thought it might be interesting to see where we're all from! I haven't seen a thread like this in awhile. and I know someone of us are probably closer than we think!
so, where you at?
[Other] My apology to vegan people on the site.
/u/UnskinnyVegan [171cm | Too high | Too high | Ick | ]
Created: Thu Nov 16 03:18:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dbiku/my_apology_to_vegan_people_on_the_site/
---
My last post ranting on vegan food was a sign of me cracking under hunger and a stressful week. I ended up eating pot-noodles (instant noodles) and too much of it to get over my cravings for salty, filling stuff.
I found several better recipes (high protein, high veggies, low-calorie) for you as a thank you for tolerating me.
**Recipe 1: Spinach and Artichoke vegan dip**
1 block of soft/silken tofu (I've used many and thus far, most had 45 cals per 100g or 78 cals per 150g)
500 g of eggplant, peeled and roasted (115 calories)
3 tbsp of nutritional yeast (60-ish calories)
500 g of frozen spinach
2 jars of marinated artichokes (get the kind without oil, it's about 20 cals per serve and a lot tangier).
Some pickled jalapenos
Seasoning (whatever you prefer, use as much as necessary)
Saute the spinach in a dry pan and season heavily. I like using Massel's chicken stock (it's vegan) and some Morrocan seasoning. Dice artichoke hearts. In a separate blender, blend soft tofu, soft eggplant, and nutritional yeast. Add spinach and artichoke. Serve with vegetables.
This results in a lot of food and I've frozen it in hopes of reheating when necessary. It's really nutrition-packed and quite nice... if you like spinach in dip format.
**Recipe 2: TVP and cauliflower curry**
* Curry powder and lots of it (get the one without starch in it for lesser calories)
* Passata/canned tomatoes
* Stock
* Vegetables
* Protein
Cut all the vegetables into bite sized chunks and roast them in the oven. While they're roasting, toast your curry powder on a pan on low heat until it darkens slightly. Add tomatoes bit by bit until it turns the curry powder into a paste and cook for a good few minutes. Then, add stock and simmer. Add vegetables. Add protein (I typically do cooked lentils/beans). My favourite vegetables to add to this is cauliflower, radish, zucchini, eggplant, and anything that can get soft and mushy... and makes the curry taste indulgent.
When serving, add a splash of low-fat/ soy yogurt as it makes it creamy. Do not add to the pot of curry you've cooked as it will make the curry go off/spoil much quicker.
I know this is a long post but I'll try to be more prepared in the future and to understand that I can work around my eating choices, if given time and mental clarity. I feel more empathy to those with stricter food restrictions than mine and I hope that you can find a satisfying way to live with your restrictions.
[Discussion] How many of you are getting advanced degrees/how to balance with restriction?
/u/thinismygame [5'6.5" | 125 | 22F]
Created: Thu Nov 16 03:18:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dbik4/how_many_of_you_are_getting_advanced_degreeshow/
---
I'm in law school (first semester!) rn. I restricted this whole time but have been binging these last two weeks because stress is getting to me. I AM SO MUCH MORE PRODUCTIVE & RETAIN MORE WHEN I RESTRICT. I thought it'd be the opposite because physically I have more energy BUT all I think about is food and it's really distracting. I actually do well on 500 calories a day, will definitely increase to 800-1000 on the days I take finals though since they're like 4 hour exams. What do you all do/think? How many calories to you feel like you can eat while still retaining information and being productive??
[Discussion] If you continue your routine for the next 30 days, where will you be?
/u/em_pty [6'0 | CW 149.52 | SW 176 | GW 138 | UGW 120 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 16 03:06:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dbgs8/if_you_continue_your_routine_for_the_next_30_days/
---
If I follow my current routine I'll be at my goal weight or extremely close.
How has november been for you? 30 days from today where do you think you'll be?
[Thinspo] she is so so beautiful
/u/plediw [161|54kg|GW48kg|19F]
Created: Thu Nov 16 00:44:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7dax4f/she_is_so_so_beautiful/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PUNvkHgi0M&t=774s
[Rant/Rave] I just measured my waist
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 111 | GW: 100 | M/15]
Created: Wed Nov 15 22:20:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7da9co/i_just_measured_my_waist/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] i always throw something toxic over binge foods so i am forced to not binge...can you relate>>
/u/LOdowwnlorettabrown
Created: Wed Nov 15 21:34:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7da0ot/i_always_throw_something_toxic_over_binge_foods/
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[removed]
[Help] Is it possible to drink alcohol and not binge?
/u/diet247x [5'3 | CW 129 | HW 155 | GW 125 | UGW 107 | F | 26]
Created: Wed Nov 15 21:34:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7da0ns/is_it_possible_to_drink_alcohol_and_not_binge/
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I freaking love wine, and honestly having a glass while I study helps me go for way longer because I have more patience with myself. But I'm worried about incorporating it more into my life because I'm afraid it will make me binge by lowering my food inhibitions.
Do any of you drink on a normal basis and manage to not have it get in the way?
[Other] I really want this relapse to kill me.
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Wed Nov 15 20:50:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d9rt3/i_really_want_this_relapse_to_kill_me/
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[removed]
Stats
/u/oFILo
Created: Wed Nov 15 20:43:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d9qf4/stats/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] what the fuck is wrong with me.
/u/seawardwaves [5'8" ✨ cw~124 gw~108]
Created: Wed Nov 15 20:37:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d9pbe/what_the_fuck_is_wrong_with_me/
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i binged this morning. 2000 calories. on cookies and cereal. after hitting a new lw of 123.8. roughly 2 lbs from underweight.
i told myself i was done eating for the day.
then i ate 1000 calories of pad thai with my bf for dinner. and a piece of candy. i can't stop myself around him.
and then my mom tonight asks me if i've been eating enough. bc she "never sees me eat," and i've always "just gotten food." she asks me this and today i've eaten twice my tdee. god dammit. i need to figure out how to deal with this.
i have a doctors appointment on tuesday. i want to be underweight by then.
and all i want is to be skinny and feminine. but i'm not. i'm pudgy, weirdly shaped, trans. my face is all wrong. i can't make my hair look like anything other than a fucking bird's nest.
i can restrict all i want, and it won't get rid of the stupid fucking appendage i was born with on the front of my body. my ed brain tells me restriction is the answer, but. restriction won't help. nothing will help.
i can restrict all i want and i still won't be able to wear pants without a top long enough to keep everything covered.
but i'm not gonna stop. i guess. i binged today, but not tomorrow. tomorrow's a new day. my life is a fucking mess. might as well be thin.
edit~ trying not to binge again rn ahahahahahhhhaha. ocd logic is trying to convince me that bc i binged this morning i have to also binge at night for symmetry. yayyyy not gonna give in though.
[Discussion] Waist trainers?
/u/AnnahxD [5'9"/F/20]
Created: Wed Nov 15 20:34:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d9opb/waist_trainers/
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Has anyone tried waist trainers here? I’ve been curious about trying one but don’t know anyone who’s used one before. Thanks in advance!!
[Rant/Rave] When someone tells you you’re fat...
/u/smallmadscientist [5'2" | SW: 160 | CW: 138 | -22 | GW: 110 | F 23]
Created: Wed Nov 15 20:28:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d9ngl/when_someone_tells_you_youre_fat/
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This evening, I had a friend over and we were engaging in casual conversation when the topic of fitness came up. If you stalk my posts or comments, you’d see that I’m into marathon running and have a pretty active lifestyle; I’m trying to lose the weight I gained from previous recovery. Anyways, this friend says flat out that I’m fat and should be working out more and focusing on my calories so that I lose weight...
Of course, it’s a punch in the gut for me because I’m the lowest weight I’ve been this year, I’m currently restricting and eating less than 800 cal a day. I now feel like all this work I do has no results, I’m always going to be fat and never reach my goal weight, and of course, only worsens the habits of purging the last small ass meal I had so that maybe, just maybe, I can lose a lil...
[Rant/Rave] There is somthing wrong with me Bitch
/u/oFILo
Created: Wed Nov 15 20:22:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d9m6g/there_is_somthing_wrong_with_me_bitch/
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[removed]
[Goal] Just finished a 69 hour fast
/u/xx420bluntymcbongxx [5'7" | CW 128 | GW 120 | 24F]
Created: Wed Nov 15 20:14:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d9kp9/just_finished_a_69_hour_fast/
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nice
[Rant/Rave] jealous of progresspics posters
/u/athrwoaway123
Created: Wed Nov 15 19:52:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d9g46/jealous_of_progresspics_posters/
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I'm reading through the progresspics subreddit and insanely jealous that people there lose weight without having eating disorders. Please tell me they are disordered so I feel better?
[Discussion] Cosplayers?
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 18BMI | -165 | 30F | AU]
Created: Wed Nov 15 19:08:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d96zi/cosplayers/
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Anyone here do it? Complete nerd, still the complete n00b learning stages of sewing etc but I have a lot of really amazing friends to look up to (if youre into these circles, I have friends that won Blizzcon cosplay contests, etc)
Anyway, I did my first, at like, maybe the medium weight of my relapse in the winter (US summer, so uhh, . I have wanted to for years but obviously I've been too fucking disgusted with myself to bring attention to myself and generally well, you dont HAVEEEEE TO (politically correct) be small, but if youre cosplaying a character from whatever, well, its better to be small or their body type to fit the role.
Anyhow my first most casual and really unrevealing was in July at Comicon Melbourne. I might go for something more form fitting for the next convention in April but its hard to think that far ahead. I've lost an ok amount of weight from Comicon until now, and I tested my last set today to see the actual difference but its not in my eyes sincerely enough to do what I want esp in alignment with what I might be thinking of doing.
ANYWAY MY REAL QUESTION/CURIOSITY IS: DO any of you cosplay? Any pearls of wisdom? Anything to say about it? Yes I know I know if nobody does whatever I'm an anomaly but yeah there must be others. <3
Edit: I’m sorta planning on wearing a full body lycra/spandex suit. I am not even comfortable with 10% form fitting clothes but I want this.
Also its hard to order pieces ahead... i.e. I ordered ths jacket that was custom made for my last cos, because I cant sew and all that yet, and obviously you want to order early because wait times but... weight times...
Tiny binge every night
/u/oFILo
Created: Wed Nov 15 18:59:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d94wm/tiny_binge_every_night/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] anybody else cry when someone mentions their weighy
/u/citygirlcitymind
Created: Wed Nov 15 18:18:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d8w4k/anybody_else_cry_when_someone_mentions_their/
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my boyfriend mentioned weighing more than me and i told him he for sure does not (i weigh more than i look) and he goes “wow you’re a big girl”. am i too sensitive? is my ed blowing this way out of proportion? is there any normal reason why i am holding back vomitting my dinner when i know he didn’t mean it in a bad way. i feel like i’ve completely lost it.
[Rant/Rave] Feeling really down
/u/athrwoaway123
Created: Wed Nov 15 17:58:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d8rlo/feeling_really_down/
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Not completely food related but I don’t know where else to go. I feel so isolated. I have felt physically ill for the last month or two and I’m pretty sure it’s because of my messed up eating. I spoke with the nutritionist about it today and I may try a food plan again to try to stabilize my body. But I’m really scared because I desperately want to lose more weight and last time I tried to follow a food plan I gained and gained and gained. But I feel so sick and it’s messing up my work and even my friendships so I feel so stuck. And I just ate a normal sized dinner and can feel the food in my stomach and I want to cry.
But maybe this has nothing to do with food. Maybe I’m just depressed. I stopped going to my old therapist a month or two ago because she left my insurance network. I made an appointment with a new therapist for Monday but I haven’t heard from her and I’m scared it won’t be a good fit anyways and then I will have to find someone else. I just want this evening to end so I can go to bed and hopefully feel better in the morning.
Thanks for reading. I need to vent and I feel like there’s nowhere to turn.
edit: Now I'm getting paranoid that people will read this post and be mad that I can "turn off" my eating disorder and I shouldn't be posting here about my dieting woes. So, I just want to say that I wish I was still in diet-land like I was when I first started this bullshit 6 years ago. I wish I could just turn this off, but no luck so far, just an endless cycle of thrashing around between different disordered behaviors. Anyways, I know it doesn't matter if I'm judged or not, I'm just feeling down so I'm extra sensitive. Sorry, now I feel stupid. Will stop editing now.
[Help] Stimulant tolerance?
/u/naughtynugget [5' 3" | CW 113 | 20.0 | GW 110 | UGW 100 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 15 17:49:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d8pmt/stimulant_tolerance/
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So I've EC stacked, used Addy and Vyvanse as appetite suppressants to lose weight before, all with great results. Problem is, now I'm prescribed Vyvanse and take it every day so my tolerance is through the rough. Tried going back to Addy and EC and still... no hunger effects. At all. Anyone have any ideas to kind of reset my tolerance to these things? They're the only way I've been able to quickly lose weight before :(
[Discussion] Have any of your friends confessed their eating disorder to you?
/u/Jtgonc [5'8 | CW : 166]
Created: Wed Nov 15 17:13:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d8hd2/have_any_of_your_friends_confessed_their_eating/
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But you didn't confess yours to them
[Discussion] How many of you have had plastic surgery?
/u/pleasegodnofuck [5'3 | 852lbs | 155.1 | -11lbs | ?]
Created: Wed Nov 15 16:42:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d8a25/how_many_of_you_have_had_plastic_surgery/
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What did you have done? Any regrets?
[Help] Thanksgiving eating!
/u/bearantenna8611
Created: Wed Nov 15 16:42:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d89y5/thanksgiving_eating/
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Ok, so I’ve tried this before, but I’d like to see if you guys had any different insight. I’m curious.....and yes, I’m trying to plan.....How many calories do you think I’ll consume on Thanksgiving?
Menu:
Sweet potato casserole (marshmallows on top)
Sister Schubert rolls (probably 3-4; I think one =70 cal)
Green beans (drenched in bouillon cubes)
Small piece of smoked turkey no gravy
Two small pieces of steak (cut into strips from a filet, so not an entire filet)
Stuffing (Stove Top)
Cranberry sauce (whole cranberries and from a can)
Fried apples (Cracker Barrel; I think 170 cal per serving)
Mashed potatoes
Mac n cheese
[Double Layer Pumpkin Pie](http://www.kraftrecipes.com/recipes/double-layer-pumpkin-pie-54636.aspx)
[“I just got dumped” brownies](https://www.galonamission.com/i-just-got-dumped-brownie-bars/)
Assuming I have 1 medium size piece of pie and 1 brownie, and also assuming I’ll only go back for seconds on sweet potato casserole and stuffing. I can’t remember what number I’ve gotten in the past because the menu is roughly the same every year except desserts change. I’ll still try to calculate again.
[Rant/Rave] welp here I am again
/u/never_alone686 [9🍌s tall|CW: 340🍌s|LW: 240🍌s|GW: 273🍌s|Lost: 7🍌s]
Created: Wed Nov 15 16:26:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d86nj/welp_here_i_am_again/
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I was active in this sub ~2 years ago. I left because I wanted to "fix" my relationship with food, and to learn to "love myself". Well it turns out I fucking can't, because no matter if I go veggie/vegan, if I don't track calories at all and just "listen to my body", if I start lifting seriously and tracking macros, I just eventually end up bingeing like a fucking pig, but without the restricting to combat the weight gain because I was practicing self-love (ahaahahaha) by telling myself to not feel guilty. I tried so hard to be normal and to eat like other people but then again, is there really a normal?
I don't know what to do. I don't want food to re-consume my life, but I need to fucking lose this weight lol I am a fucking whaleeeee
Having a minor existential crisis atm but yeah
Have a good day y'all
[Help] Conflicted
/u/whatsupbuttercup5 [5'3" | CW 100.4 | GW 92 | HW 124 | LW 98 | 25F]
Created: Wed Nov 15 16:09:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d82is/conflicted/
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Do you guys ever feel completely conflicted about therapy/recovery? Like, I'm so distracted in school and know I could be doing SO MUCH better if I could get my mental health under control. I don't want to live this way. But at the same time, I can't picture ever being "fixed" and being normal so why even try? And I want to make it to my goal weight first.
I'm just so sick of being disappointed in myself but I can't picture myself ever really changing. It feels like this is just who I am, not that there is anything really wrong with me. Anyone relate or have advice or gone to therapy?
[Discussion] DAE do this with their clothes?
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Wed Nov 15 16:06:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d81u2/dae_do_this_with_their_clothes/
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I have this dress I keep that fit me when I was 21. Every time I get into my underwear and think I look good and toned I try on the dress again knowing it won't fit.
I keep it as a reminder that I used to be stunning with my whole life ahead of me and now I'm a flat slob that doesn't have idea what she's doing with life and pretty much goalless. ...
[Discussion] For those who are planning on restricting at Thanksgiving, what are you going to eat?
/u/pedaling-backwards [5'2 | 105 | 20F]
Created: Wed Nov 15 15:00:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d7lut/for_those_who_are_planning_on_restricting_at/
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I'm sure there's going to be many posts with this same question within the next week but I'm trying to prepare my mental resolve early. >:)
I already decided that on Thanksgiving, unless for whatever reason the whoosh gods decide to bless me and have me drop a couple pounds before then, I'm just going to eat a cup of veggies during the day and a pint of Enlightened or Arctic Zero at night.
I don't think it'll be too hard, *unless* my family decides to go all-out with the desserts and if that's the case I'll just need to avoid the fridge at all costs because I can nooot resist cakes or chocolate or pies.
What are you all planning to eat?
[Discussion] Fasting, bulimia, drugs, etc... [trigger warning, humble brag??]
/u/MiniKittiii_3
Created: Wed Nov 15 14:18:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d7baj/fasting_bulimia_drugs_etc_trigger_warning_humble/
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So there's this train-wreck try-hard beauty editor who's also super pretty and used to be kind of fabulous-ish and she wrote some blog or book on her past experience with the party scene, using prescription drugs to fight hunger, puking her binges, and etc. Granted her stories a bit extreme to add shock value cuz heroin and shit, I realized something...
I literally have my own little studio apartment in a super fun fabulous city, COPIOUS amounts of prescription amph drugs, drugs to help me sleep, and access to whatever non-scripts (even though I would only prefer mdma, some acid, and good coke compared to anything too extreme like crystal or heroin nooo thx lol), a gym, a huuuuge park a block near me, tons of places to do activities like yoga nearby and people to play sports with, beaches, and money to buy whatever low-cal foods or waist constricting shit I need.
SOOoOOooooo...? Like I don't even have an excuse. I'm also whole-heartedly going vegan because how could I not feel like a slob when eating pork or meet, especially after seeing extreme videos of animals being tortured. Plus meats like bad for you and shit... and I'll feel purer, aaand my shitty fucking ex lost weight going vegan.
And after reading her story I've felt rather more triggered (can't take that word seriously after internet asshole trolls mocked it, ugh)
My job involves people practically paying me to drink though and people bring me food a lot it's annoying.
Anyway, going to go pop an addy, clean and buy a scale for my new-ish place, and place ads to find a sugar daddy or 2. I should probably do homework though. Ugh.
Do any of you who are underweight, regularly binge and purge?
/u/laurasia3oo2
Created: Wed Nov 15 13:32:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d6z8m/do_any_of_you_who_are_underweight_regularly_binge/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Finally got a Fitbit charger!!
/u/dipped_in_gold_ [5'3 | CW 117 lbs | GW 105 | 22F]
Created: Wed Nov 15 13:26:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d6xrp/finally_got_a_fitbit_charger/
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I finally got a new Fitbit charger after literally months and now I can obsessively and accurately track my steps again #blest
(I’m on mobile pls flair rave!)
Tfw you're losing weight or toning up and your hands feel thin.
/u/Uppity-Kitten [5'2" | CW: 70kg |BMI28| 5kg| GW50kg | 21F]
Created: Wed Nov 15 13:13:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d6uc3/tfw_youre_losing_weight_or_toning_up_and_your/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE wish they had someone who you could text when you're hungry to distract yourself from food?
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 57.2 | 19.11/18.89 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 15 13:09:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d6tdf/dae_wish_they_had_someone_who_you_could_text_when/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Husband put in a new toilet cleaner
/u/CaptainBundiePants
Created: Wed Nov 15 13:04:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d6s2l/husband_put_in_a_new_toilet_cleaner/
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It hangs off the side of the bowl and the bleach/whatever smell is SO overpowering even when I remove it. (Which I do, when my face is down there).
You’d think this would discourage my purging but it only makes it more unpleasant and doesn’t stop me. Just ugh
[Discussion] Camhs experience? (Child and adolescent mental health services)
/u/littleavo
Created: Wed Nov 15 13:03:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d6rw4/camhs_experience_child_and_adolescent_mental/
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I have been with camhs for over 2 years now and was diagnosed with anorexia and anxiety. I have turned 18, so am being transferred to adult services. I wish I could say they helped improve my mental health but to be honest, they just made it 100 times worse.
I'm genuinely interested by the experiences people have had with Camhs and whether they have been helped or not by the services?!
[Rant/Rave] I just ate an apple fritter
/u/throwawaymyrazor [5'9" | CW 150 | 22.5 | GW 120]
Created: Wed Nov 15 12:53:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d6p6g/i_just_ate_an_apple_fritter/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Mid-month check-in?
/u/Size666 [5'8F | Walrus | -40lbs | UGW: 113]
Created: Wed Nov 15 12:52:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d6ous/midmonth_checkin/
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Since I've been *royally* fucking up the entirety of November thus far, I thought I'd see how everyone else is doing and re-commit to my own promises, namely:
* get back to the gym more regularly (so far I've been once this month LOL)
* stop fucking BINGING Jesus Lord Fuck!!
* stop spending so much money on take-out (and fast food. and binge meals).
* continue my Sober November (the *only* promise I've kept to myself this month)
What about you guys? How are you doing on your goals, and is there something you need to re-commit to?
[Rant/Rave] Who else is battling period cravings now?
/u/quoth_the_phoenix
Created: Wed Nov 15 12:41:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d6m6s/who_else_is_battling_period_cravings_now/
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Tmi but I hate my period so much. It totally drains me of all motivation and I feel like total shit physically and emotionally.
I've been good at eating reasonably today so far and I'll be grumpily drinking all the herbal tea possible while avoiding the empty carbs and sweets.
Edit: I really want Halo Top for dinner but idk if I can make it to the store today
[Rant/Rave] Starting recovery and eating all the time
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5'4" | 123 | 21.4 | GW: 115 | NB]
Created: Wed Nov 15 12:34:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d6keu/starting_recovery_and_eating_all_the_time/
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So I started recovery seriously maybe 4 days ago and I'm just eating all the time and all I want to do is restrict and lose the fucking weight that's making me look like a whale but I'm hungry all the fucking time now and it's making me feel like I'm not really ill and like I'm a fraud :/
Has anyone else experienced this during recovery? I'm still terrified of food but I just can't stop eating :( please help
[Help] Vegan/Vegetarian Thanksgiving ideas
/u/TacosGetMeThrough [5'4|28F|SW: 183|CW: 164|GW: 120]
Created: Wed Nov 15 11:47:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d683s/veganvegetarian_thanksgiving_ideas/
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Don't know if this has been posted, but the time has come for me to tell my family what I will bring to Thanksgiving. I am trying to bring a couple things I can have as safe like veggies and whatnot. Tell me what you guys are going to bring!
[Rant/Rave] I've apparently completely given up on myself
/u/then_she_said [5'7 | -58 | 27F | UGW: 130]
Created: Wed Nov 15 11:34:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d64qw/ive_apparently_completely_given_up_on_myself/
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I just finished my 4th bag of chips from the vending machine today and it's barely 1 pm. If I eat literally nothing else today, I'll be at 1208 calories, but let's be real here, I'm browsing menus for the restaurants I pass on my way home to see what's cheap and easy to purge.
I got married a month ago (exactly a month ago yesterday, actually!) and I did so well leading up to the wedding- I 100% blame the INSANE amount of stress I was under, but I pretty much only consumed a bottle of wine every day for around 600 calories and hit my wedding goal weight of being in the 150's. Went on honeymoon, ate and drank whatever I wanted and felt NO guilt about it because, hello? Honeymoon! and came back ready to kick some ass.
I lovingly made and packed myself the most delicious falafel patties with cabbage stir fry for lunches, carefully-weighed grapes, air-popped popcorn, and egg whites with goat cheese to keep my days under 700 calories so I could have a satisfying 400 calorie dinner every night and do all of this in a "healthy" way.
Has that happened? HA. No. I'm somehow back up to 166 lbs. I literally b/p the night after we got back from our honeymoon, even though I PROMISED myself that it would be behind me after the wedding. So I've started binging, and not purging every time, and the weight is just piling on.
Guys, I'm totally going to be one of those brides where you look at her wedding photos 20 years down the line and are like "wtf that's not the same person, she used to actually be pretty."
(Also, between starting this post and finishing it, I finished my bag of chips and compulsively bought a bag of pizza-flavored Combos, which naturally I don't even like.)
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] I have a formal event (dinner and dance)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 15 11:30:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d63ku/rant_i_have_a_formal_event_dinner_and_dance/
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[deleted]
[Help] Cant sleep while restricting/fasting?
/u/lilmdjd [5'3 | CW: IDK, TOO MUCH| GW: 100| 22F]
Created: Wed Nov 15 11:08:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d5y0x/cant_sleep_while_restrictingfasting/
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Does anyone have any tips for not being able to sleep while restricting? I know this is fairly common and I have tried EVERYTHING. Even if I am exhausted I just lay in bed wide awake and then only drift into like a half sleep for most of the night. I also sort of have anxiety about falling asleep hungry because for a while after treatment if I didn't eat enough I would literally wake up in front of the fridge with no idea how I got there. That hasn't happened in a while but I'm so terrified of it happening again that I think it is making it even harder for me to relax and fall asleep.
[Goal] Bulimic with unrealistic goals but it's a start
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Wed Nov 15 11:05:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d5x7k/bulimic_with_unrealistic_goals_but_its_a_start/
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https://imgur.com/IGqw9yF
[Tip] Pre-workout energy drink, good for when you are restricting
/u/ceefitz
Created: Wed Nov 15 10:57:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d5uoc/preworkout_energy_drink_good_for_when_you_are/
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If you feel you have issues powering through your workouts on a low calorie intake, VaporX5 is a good tool. Don't drink it too late in the day if you need to hit the hay earlier (I had it at 5pm once and couldn't sleep until 1am, even after doing an hour-long workout). I wouldn't recommend it if you have any heart related issues or if you are restricting too much.
Any other tips for getting through workouts? I usually stick to 1000 calories when I'm doing a 400-600 calorie burn workout.
[Rant/Rave] Binged just now
/u/redelisd
Created: Wed Nov 15 10:26:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d5mus/binged_just_now/
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I don’t know why I do this!!! I had a shit day because I got stood up by a boy and when I got home I knew I wasn’t that hungry and I knew i would regret it and I’d get into a cycle and not do any of my school work because when something goes wrong in my life everything just falls a part. Why am I so fragile? I was eating foods I don’t even like or crave just because I knew they were loaded with carbs and sugar!! It was like a form of self harm I didn’t want any of it!!!!
[Rant/Rave] Losing inches, not weight
/u/RedxLoaf [5'7" | 158lbs | 40lbs Lost | 24F]
Created: Wed Nov 15 10:25:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d5mgc/losing_inches_not_weight/
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Pretty frustrated atm. It's been 2 weeks since I started restricting to under and around 1k, whereas previously I was just winging it because I tend to get bingy when I obsess over calories.
I have definitely lost 2 inches from my waist and hips (my bust is still the same unfortunately), and 3 inches from my thighs... I look a lot leaner overall, and I'm not bloated like I used to be. Overall, I look and feel better than before.
However, I can't get over still being 158lbs. The last time I looked like this was in my first year of college when I was closer to 145-150lbs.
The only exercise I get is walking my dog and sometimes halfheartedly "jogging" (lol) on the weekends.
Has this happened to anyone else? I hate getting stuck at a weight for more than 2-3 weeks. >_<
[Rant/Rave] Dreading Thanksgiving
/u/lainakaylee07 [5'8" | 181.0 | 27 | -14 | 18F]
Created: Wed Nov 15 10:24:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d5m9u/dreading_thanksgiving/
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Hi everyone, this is my first time posting, but I've been lurking for awhile.
I'm absolutely dreading Thanksgiving. More specifically, Thanksgiving dinner with my boyfriend's family. I feel judged everytime I'm around them. I feel like they think I'm awkward, fat, and ugly. Not to mention, they prefer his brother's girlfriend way over me. She's overweight, but can do no wrong in their eyes.
I've been restricting heavily the past week and fasting today. I just want Thanksgiving to be over with already.
[Rant/Rave] OUT OF 130s FINALLY MWAHAHAHAHA
/u/TSputnik [5'3" | CW 129 | HW 210 | UGW 100]
Created: Wed Nov 15 10:21:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d5li8/out_of_130s_finally_mwahahahaha/
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I've been stuck yo-yoing between 134 and 140+ for the past YEAR since my binging started getting really bad last October, but I finally have it managed and I'm 129 again wheeeeee BYE BMI 23 EAT MY ASS WOOO
[Help] Dangers of saltwater purging
/u/uninterestingly
Created: Wed Nov 15 10:11:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d5ivq/dangers_of_saltwater_purging/
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[removed]
[Discussion] What started your ED?
/u/water_77 [🍀🌺🍀]
Created: Wed Nov 15 10:10:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d5iio/what_started_your_ed/
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For me it's because I went to camp. Before that camp I was eating perfectly healthily but when I went to that camp, all they served was pure junk food (pizza, hotdogs, toast) with literally no healthy food, no veggies etc. It was like a shock to my taste buds/ system. I came back home fatte, and with junk food cravings - something I'd never had before. I spent the next few years struggling between not eating or binging. It became more extreme again when I went to uni residences on a meal plan - again, all they served was junk food.
Edit: I also have always had body dysmorphia just never knew it. So when I gained the weight from the camp, it shocked me so bad that it triggered the ed.
I wish I never went to those places. Life would be so much easier.
[Help] Speaking out, advice for self-hatred/loneliness?
/u/thistoo-shallpass
Created: Wed Nov 15 10:05:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d5hbj/speaking_out_advice_for_selfhatredloneliness/
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I imagine I'm here for the same reason as many of you. Apart from the disordered eating, I am the kind of person who never asks for help. I hate to inconvenience others and have always felt that I should be able to do everything on my own. I am 26 now and I began to lose control when I was 17 and finally broke up with my first, emotionally abusive, boyfriend who got me into smoking weed heavily. At the same time my dad left my family after cheating on my mom for years, letting my sister and I know through text message. In the months after we broke up I stopped smoking as much and unintentionally dropped down to 115 lbs. Although I didn't feel too skinny, I remember my mother's friend asking me what had happened and why I was so thin. The nurse took my mother aside at the doctor's office and asked her if I had been starving myself or vomiting. I never had, though, and we were both shocked that the nurses would think this. After, we came home and I remember my mom telling me I had to eat and feeding me sweet potatoes at the dining room table as I cried, not having any desire or will to eat. Then when I was 18, I was in a two year relationship with a man who was both emotionally and physically abusive. I started living with him and apart from ocasional binge eating when I was stoned, I never had problems with eating. It was at this time, however, that I started using cocaine on the weekends occasionally and continuing to smoke weed heavily, multiple times a day. My ex was an alcoholic so I also began drinking and would often black out. This awful relationship finally came to an end when I got a scholarship to study abroad and I took advantage of the geographical separation to break up with him. While this year was good in many ways, it was the time when my disordered eating/purging cycle truly began. I probably should have chosen to study elsewhere, since this year my mother became the director of the program in the host country of my choice. Throughout my life I have consistently been among the highest performing students in all subjects and have received numerous grants and scholarships. On one hand, my mother is to thank for this since I never think that I'm good enough to apply for anything so if it wasn't for her convincing me to apply, I probably wouldn't. Studying abroad, the courses were easy and I had a lot of free time. I was trying new foods, eating sweets, and gained some weight. The triggering moment for me was when I went to try on a dress with my mother in a cute boutique and she commented in her native tongue (which is not English) that my "stomach had fallen out a bit" (this is the best translation I can think of) implying that I no longer could wear such dress since the slight protrusion of my midriff could be perceived. I immediately fell into self-hatred and stopped wanting to socialize with anyone. I felt disgusting and didn't want to be seen until I was my normal weight again. I restricted and ate healthier but then one night my mother had a Thanksgiving meal for all of the students of the study abroad program. Everyone had to bring one dish and many cooked their dishes at my mother's apartment. It was the kind of situation where everyone tried everything that the other people made. After eating I went to the bathroom and tried to make myself throw up. I think I got some of the food out and that was a relief. But I also felt extremely guilty for hurting my body. I was only going to feel good powerful when I managed to get down to my ideal weight (115-120 lbs-- I'm 5'7). From this moment, my social life has taken a toll since all of my interactions revolve around the inability to consume food normally. Since then I have been putting my body through cycles of starvation, binging and vomiting and I am scared for myself. I think the hardest thing is that when I'm in a particularly self-loathing mood, it's easy to justify binging/purging/starving since I just don't care about my REAL self, only my physical shell. As hard as I try to think of the next day as a clean slate and a new beginning and forget about the fuck-ups of the past, I feel that I can't detach myself from this horrible past (that no one knows about, although my boyfriend knows that I've had problems with bulimia in the past he doesn't know the extent of it or the binging part). I don't have any friends since I had a terrible fight with my best female friend last year after she lied to me for months. I'm a graduate student and was the only person to enter in my year (so I have no cohort) and I just feel like the stress of work/school multiplies when I hang out with people in my department. I think the solution to my problem is to stop smoking weed so heavily and have friends again but I just can't see a point anymore. I feel like the only thing that really makes me happy is being skinny and until I am, I can't be around anyone since I'm just disgusting. I'm 130lbs and 5'7. I've talked to several psychologists about my ED and it didn't seem to help. The only people I've talked about this with are my mother (who told me it was disgusting and I needed to stop while crying and screaming at me) and my boyfriend (who has been supportive but thinks that my problems "aren't too bad" since I'm not emaciated in a hospital bed and he thinks that the last time I purged was last year in November, when in reality it was yesterday and then a few days before that). What suggestions do you have for dealing with loneliness while getting back to a weight where I feel like I can go out in the world without totally hating myself? What can I do if I have no desire to interact with people (outside of necessary work-related interactions) but know that interacting with people would make things better? How can I stop hating myself? I made this account in hopes of connecting with people with similar problems. I am not active in social media but I feel that at this point making any kind of connection, even a digital one, could be valuable to getting me back on track. Please reach out if you want to chat. Thanks for reading.
[Rant/Rave] My boss poked fun at my weight...
/u/prothrow0
Created: Wed Nov 15 09:49:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d5d2n/my_boss_poked_fun_at_my_weight/
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I just need to rant. Made a throwaway for this just in case so it doesn't get traced back to me (paranoid yeah but whatever).
I've lost close to 40 pounds, my bmi is close to 20 (finally), and I had just started begining to not hate what I see in the mirror. Still far from my UGW, but I was at least begining to feel comfortable. Everyone would compliment me on my weight loss, what my secret is (haha) and all that. Well, a few days ago, I was on my break at work, drinking diet coke. A couple of my co-workers join in with me and our boss comes and sits with us too. They start talking about working out and eating healthy and all that crap, I'm not really listening but I'm trying to be polite since ya know, it's the boss with us. I don't even remember what I said, I think something about being too tired to work out, and my boss says to me, "yeah, that's why you need to drink diet coke" and my co-worker makes the most pathetic, fake empathetic face, coupled with a "ooh that's so mean". I kept my cool and just laughed it off, but inside I was fucking fuming. I wanted to kill him, like who the fuck are you to make such a harsh comment like that to me? Just last week I was at my doctor talking to him about my disordered eating, and this asshole just says something so uncalled for, not knowing the implications. I ended up binging that night when I got home and have been fasting since that day. I want to die. How can people say something so fucking cruel to someone like that? Don't they think about how that could effect them? I'm not even fucking fat, I'm "AVERAGE" weight like everyone keeps telling me, but now I just imagine that they're all lying to me, and my UGW has moved back another 5 pounds. Thanks for that.
[Discussion] DAE feel like they're consumed by anger/hate?
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | CW: 125 | GW: small | F]
Created: Wed Nov 15 09:48:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d5cvq/dae_feel_like_theyre_consumed_by_angerhate/
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The feeling's kind of crept up on me over the past few months, definitely corresponding to when my ED picked up its pace. I'm not happy anymore, at least, not like I used to be. My constant judging of everyone's size has led me to being a more spiteful, angry person overall. I snap at my friends when we used to get along well. Even the slightest thing can set me off.
I used to love people. I used to be nice, and happy. And now I'm just this really bitter person, and I hate the fact that I've turned into this.
How fast have you all noticeably lost weight?
/u/midwesthoe- [5'1| 105 | 19.8 |20F|]
Created: Wed Nov 15 09:42:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d5bbc/how_fast_have_you_all_noticeably_lost_weight/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Wanting to weigh self, but too scared.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 15 09:20:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d562g/wanting_to_weigh_self_but_too_scared/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Anyone eat unhealthy foods but not over your calorie limit?
/u/luxklepto
Created: Wed Nov 15 09:03:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d51v2/anyone_eat_unhealthy_foods_but_not_over_your/
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I got annoyed with how I wasn't **allowed** to eat certain foods, so I was like fuck that, I'll eat pop tarts if I want. As long as I'm under x calories, it's fine. Surprisingly, it works quite well. I'm reminded of when I first used to restrict when I was a kid and didn't know calories or nutrition. What I did then was just try to eat less and honestly, that was the time when restricting was easiest. It just makes things so simple.
[Discussion] i think about this a lot
/u/skinnynet [5'6" | 141.5 | 22.8 | -12.5 | 15F]
Created: Wed Nov 15 08:32:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d4u7u/i_think_about_this_a_lot/
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https://imgur.com/a/ZPVsP
[Other] Favorite low calorie snacks for work?
/u/ParanoidPancreas [5'11" | CW 157 | -16 | UGW 138]
Created: Wed Nov 15 08:31:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d4ty4/favorite_low_calorie_snacks_for_work/
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I'm looking for new yummy stuff to bring to work! List your favorite portable snacks! Anything that comes in a convenient container or bag is a plus. Would prefer low carb as well as low calorie, but I'm willing to stretch my daily carb allowance a bit if the snack is super filling!
[Rant/Rave] can I just... leave this here...
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 18BMI | -165 | 30F | AU]
Created: Wed Nov 15 07:50:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d4k8j/can_i_just_leave_this_here/
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casual conversation with your husband the second he gets home:
**poke poke poke**
what are you doing
“your collarbones”
yes ive had them they’ve been like this its just how they are now
“they’re sticking out even even more.”
im just wearing this spaghetti strap thing its hot
“maybe its because you’re not standing up perfectly it’s just way worse”
*i slouch, jokingly *“hurrr hurrr”
**“ew fuck, stop, thats disgusting.”**
don’t call me disgusting!
“you know how I feel about fucking boney… whatever. its gross.”
yep ok
“honestly I’m going to have to take you to the doctor or to reab and tell them ‘make this bitch eat”’”
“how much do you weigh right now?”
honestly stop we just had this conversation a week ago I really don’t want to talk about it I dont feel like talking about it I do NOT like talking or thinking about my weight?
“you never want to talk about it”
we just had this conversation! please stop it makes me REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE.
*I come upstairs and put on a baggier shirt. *
“you changed your shirt? did you do that because of what I just said?”
no. it ju st I sn t as ho t an. ymor e.
Later, more bullshit about me needing to “just stop” etc and “eat more” blaah I know he means well but yeah.
“You were looking really good a few months ago but now you’re just getting too thin, too boney... you know how I find that so unattractive stuff like that ... I just want my boo back you are a RAKE.”
Oh thanks
[Rant/Rave] Excited this morning!!!
/u/lintlickerlover [5'3 | CW: 111 | GW: 103 | 21F]
Created: Wed Nov 15 07:34:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d4gne/excited_this_morning/
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Okay guys I weigh myself every morning and my weight fluctuates a few lbs every day and usually I’m about 109-111 but today I weighed myself and I was 106.6 lbs!!!! That’s the lowest I’ve been since freshman year of hs (I just graduated college in may). I’m just so excited I wanted to share with you all bc I feel like you’re the only ones who ~get me~
Ahhh I’m just so excited it was such a good way to start the day!! Hope you all have great days too :’)
Edit: wait sorry on mobile so I can’t flair it yikes
[Discussion] November 15th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 15 05:23:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d3qrs/november_15th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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How was waking up this morning?
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 15, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Nov 15 05:11:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d3os1/daily_food_diary_november_15_2017/
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This is a daily food diary thread for November 15, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday November 15, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Nov 15 05:11:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d3omw/way_to_go_wednesday_november_15_2017/
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This is the weekly achievement thread for November 15, 2017.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Rant/Rave] My brother and how I've come to hurt my own self
/u/thedarkleopard
Created: Wed Nov 15 05:10:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d3ok8/my_brother_and_how_ive_come_to_hurt_my_own_self/
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My younger brother and I (I'm 17) are polar opposites when it comes to weight. He's 3 or so years younger than me but now he's only an inch shorter than me (5'2). I used to make random comments like "Stop eating all those poptarts, you're going to get fat" "You know how many calories are in juice? It doesn't even taste good" and other stuff because I used to shunt my insecurities on other people (although to be fair, that kid would eat like 5 pop tarts a day lol) so he had chubby cheeks but nothing else. I was huge though, I was 144 at 5'3 last year so you can imagine...
However, he took my words to heart which I feel terrible about now because he doesn't eat as much anymore. He'll always come up to me after weighing himself and proudly state his weight, and yesterday, he told me he weighs 92. 92. And that was up 2 pounds from last week.
I said "dude okay stop you need to eat more I don't think that's healthy" even though 1) THAT IS GOAL WEIGHT for me 2) MY BINGING ASS ISNT HEALTHY EITHER 3) I would loveeeee if I ate like him and had restraint like him.
We must looks like some sort of joke walking together, him at 90 pounds and me at 130, and us being basically the same height... he looks like a twig (in an appreciative way) and I look like a whale...
[Help] That website that shows you body pics
/u/oceanblue10 [5'9''| 175| 24.66|UGW:110 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 15 04:24:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d3h26/that_website_that_shows_you_body_pics/
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Like you can type in a height and weight and see what other people look like at that weight! These people at work were talking about another girl that doesn't work here anymore and how she was like the tiniest person ever even though she was really tall and I just feel really triggered right now since we have the same name and i am in no way or shape tiny....
[Discussion] Moving out of my parents' house.
/u/RickyWicky
Created: Wed Nov 15 03:57:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d3cro/moving_out_of_my_parents_house/
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So I'm finally moving out of the house for the first time. I'm 26 now, and the main reason why I have never moved is because people in my profession don't make enough money unless they really get a lucky break. That is, graphic designers in South Africa.
So I figured I'd wait until I found a roommate, which I now have. She's on a weightloss mission to lose 14kg, which will place her in a "healthy" BMI range for her height and age (5'7", 27).
She's also said that if she recruits someone to go gym with her, she gets a discount and then the person recruited also gets a discount, so I will be joining her in the gym every weekday, which is really exciting.
But now...I've never really been able to maintain restriction for very long. The longest I've gone is a month of heavy restriction, whereafter I tend to start picking up weight again because I eat without care. I attribute this to living with my parents, and not really fending for myself for meals and stuff. We usually have meals together, my mom is kind enough to prepare lunch for me for work etc. (for which I am forever grateful, because I'm a grown ass man, though a mother's job is never done, is it?)
This is changing now, though. I'll be in more control over what I consume, and I will be gymming.
I guess what I'm getting at is that I'm a little bit scared, because now I'll be able to lose weight much more rapidly than ever before. Where will I stop, or will I get obsessed with it all over again and possibly end up damaging myself?
Anyway, for people who moved out of their parental/guardian home, how has your ED changed?
[Rant/Rave] What do normal people think about if it isn’t food?
/u/loserlosing5 [164cm | CW: 66 | Weight Lost: 19kg since April '17]
Created: Wed Nov 15 00:56:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d2mty/what_do_normal_people_think_about_if_it_isnt_food/
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Why am I always thinking about food? Even when I’m not restricting and “eating normally” I’m obsessed with food. Not the calories or anything, just legit “hmm imagine eating an entire loaf of bread right now” or “I should get some chocolate later” “Think I might have a chicken, lettuce, mayonnaise sandwich for dinner.”
What are normal people occupying their brains with? God I hate how my day is essentially waiting until dinner time, and even then I still haven’t planned what I’ll eat, and even then it almost always ends up being the same thing.
[Intro] hey all
/u/fractalviscera [5'4" | CW ?? | BMI ?? | 23f]
Created: Tue Nov 14 23:15:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d270h/hey_all/
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long time listener, first time caller (not really but i've been lurking hardcore for the past few weeks) and thought i'd finally say hi.
i was basically born with anxiety and depression and first struggled with anorexia in high school, got officially dx'ed at 15, recovered after being threatened with residential treatment. things were pretty okay through college despite me developing a new chronic health problem every 6-18 months (unrelated to my ED history as far as i know). now i'm a year into working full time and got back into old restrictive habits to cope with family and work stress. i have both family members and a coworker with obsessive-compulsive tendencies, and being micromanaged is a HUGE trigger for me. i've been lurking in the ED side of tumblr but think i like this place better and will be hanging out here in the future. so hi there :^)
[Rant/Rave] Under 500 Calorie Binge
/u/alwayssoclose
Created: Tue Nov 14 23:03:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d24xw/under_500_calorie_binge/
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It was a rough night to say the least. i couldn’t help but think all the way home (with the tow truck driver) that i would have a nice glass of wine and a rice cake before settling in to bed.
Nope. That didn’t happen. And really, i wasn’t even hungry, surprisingly... after nothing all day. Am not one to binge often, but bless it - sometimes you just wanna eat your feelings.
So i did. But... it wasn’t bad. Still a binge because of the psychological factor (frenzied, distant, etc), but kinda proud of keeping the calorie count decent (all things considered).
Had:
(2) slices 40 cal bread with Parkay 0 cal spray, dash of cinnamon, dash of sugar sub, toasted = 80
(1) caramel rice cake with 1.5 tsp PB2 Choc = 80
(46) White cheddar Good Thins = 260
Could’ve done better with the stock of veggies in the fridge, but they just wouldn’t have hit the junk craving on this day. Ended up with like zero nutritional value, but full and satisfied - and while i wasn’t planning on those calories, they’re not gonna kill my day either. And skipped the wine bc... food.
Do you have junk/junk replacement foods that help when those times hit? If so, mind sharing?
Edit: lowercase i’s... need iPhone update 😬
[Help] Post Fast Refeeding, purging and starting again
/u/ziyal79 [155cms | 69.6kg (153 lbs) | 28.7 | 5kg (11 lbs) | Female]
Created: Tue Nov 14 23:00:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d24a5/post_fast_refeeding_purging_and_starting_again/
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Hi guys,
I fasted for 7 days, and today I broke my fast. I had lunch with my friends, and I was planning to eat a keto option and then we had a change of plans and I had an issue with restraint and I ate a full sized meal of chicken schnitzel with bacon and salad veggies on a wrap and some fries.
I felt pretty bloated and uncomfortable after eating that, and the feeling of having that much food in my stomach triggered my bulimic tendencies and I ended up running to the toilet and vomiting up what I had eaten. Though I drank a decent amount of water today given the heat, I experienced an intense bout of dizziness while walking with a friend to go to a store and I felt pretty off after that.
Now that I’m home and I feel okay, I’ve had some full cream milk and some electrolyte solution. I’m not planning to eat anything else today, and I’m planning to start water fasting again tomorrow and fast for 14 to 28 days to get to my goal weight. Is this reasonable? Am I at risk of re-feeding syndrome?
What should I do?
[Rant/Rave] I’m angry at my dad for making me eat. And I feel awful because he’s wonderful.
/u/km_14
Created: Tue Nov 14 22:50:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d22mf/im_angry_at_my_dad_for_making_me_eat_and_i_feel/
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I’m lucky (HA funny that I think I’m lucky for this...) because I work in health care and breaks and lunches are always a rush. I work at an urgent care. So anyways yeah it’s easy for me to go days without eating because I work 12/13 hour shifts most of the time and I’m so busy I don’t even get hunger pains anymore. It’s wonderful. And I know. I’m sick for praising my job for allowing me to indulge in my eating disorder by keeping me busy and having my lunch be cut short by an emergency.
Anyways.
When I got off work tonight my dad had already made dinner and he told me I had to eat because I’ve been working a lot and I’m looking too thin (I loved hearing that part)
He sat me down at the table and watched me eat. I love him because he just wants the best for me but I’m angry because I caved. 48 hours of fasting ruined tonight. I hate myself.
I was just looking at myself in the mirror and broke down. I swore I could see my dinner expanding my stomach right before my eyes.
I fucking hate this disorder
I fucking hate that I hate myself
I fucking hate that I’m about to hang my head out my window and throw up so my dad doesn’t hear me.
I just want this to be over. I just want to be better. But I’m addicted to my disease.
[Discussion] How much does everyone's weight fluctuate by?
/u/uforgan
Created: Tue Nov 14 22:50:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d22iw/how_much_does_everyones_weight_fluctuate_by/
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For me, the difference between a good day vs a bad day is 4 kg. What's everyone elses?
[Thinspo] poolside
/u/squishykiss
Created: Tue Nov 14 22:48:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d225x/poolside/
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https://i.redd.it/59ipvf87v2yz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] When you realize this isn't some diet
/u/PrimaryGreen
Created: Tue Nov 14 22:39:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d20nu/when_you_realize_this_isnt_some_diet/
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I had some soup prepared and i just stared at it. It took me literally half and hour to bring myself to take a spoonful and even then i still couldn't finish it. I'm the only one who cares about my weight. This isn't some cutesy tumblr shit and I couldn't stop if I wanted to. I have a problem.
[Discussion] Anyone else work at a restaurant?
/u/throwawaymyrazor [5'9" | CW 150 | 22.5 | GW 120]
Created: Tue Nov 14 22:09:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d1v3p/anyone_else_work_at_a_restaurant/
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When it's slow and I'm bored, I find it so hard not to pick at extra food or eat tortilla chips etc. Most of the time I can keep my self control though. How do you guys deal with it?
[Discussion] What kind of scale do you use?
/u/sogyosha
Created: Tue Nov 14 21:40:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d1pex/what_kind_of_scale_do_you_use/
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I have a digital scale from a few years ago. I always get on it like 5 times in a row and it rarely says the same number twice. It also varies by 5 pounds which greatly affects my self esteem for the day.
Does anyone prefer digital scales, and which brand is yours? Are analog scales more accurate?
[Rant/Rave] I think i'm trying to get back at someone
/u/glorydaisy [5'3 | CW 129.2 | UGW 100]
Created: Tue Nov 14 21:20:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d1ljy/i_think_im_trying_to_get_back_at_someone/
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When I first started this year's relapse, my mom (who has also struggled with this disorder) asked me what I'm really trying to control. I didn't know what she was talking about. I just wanted to get smaller really, really bad. But I think I've figured it out.
All throughout high school, when my eating disorder really started to bloom, I was a useless piece of shit who was always overlooked and, I felt, hated by everyone. Since the beginning of my life I've felt like I'm too much for people, so they decide to not even try to deal with me. But I had this friend, who basically encapsulated that entire feeling for me. Everyone loved her. We only ever hung out outside of school, and she'd tell me I was her best friend, and she never opened up to anyone else before. But I never saw her in school unless we had a class together.
Eventually, I felt comfortable admitting to her that I was sick. I don't remember how I felt about it at the time. But she confessed that in middle school, the same thing had happened to her, and she had to go away to live in this facility for months. I knew she'd been much sicker than I was. But because she'd been through it, she agreed not to tell anyone. Instead, she sort of started trying to help me. She had one condition: If I dipped below 100 pounds, she'd have to tell my dad.
We are three years past that now, and we are no longer friends. She made me feel like I had to compete not only for her attention and friendship, but *against* her. Like I had to try to be as good as her. She found a new best friend, deciding I was too "depressing" for her, and now lives a thousand miles away going to college.
So why do I feel like part of this disease just wants to get her attention? It's like I just want her to feel bad. And I do. I want her to be absolutely ashamed. I'm too petty to let things go and move on, and I wish it weren't that way, because I just keep wishing everyone would realize what a liar and a fake she is and leave her, and it's exhausting. But I mean, they never would. Everyone thinks she's so fantastic, and I could never figure out why. Maybe they just remember feeling bad for her. I hate that I'm this bitter.
I think I'm trying to control what other people think of me. I'm sick of being an outsider who's never seen. I'm sick of feeling like a defect.
[Rant/Rave] BMI Chart
/u/sadbean17 [ 5'4" | 122lb | 21.9 | 17F]
Created: Tue Nov 14 21:18:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d1la3/bmi_chart/
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Am I the only one who thinks the bmi chart is fucked and inaccurate?
According to the new bmi, I am 2kgs away from being obese, when the original I was at a bmi of 23. Maybe I am obese, or maybe the system is messed up. Seriously messing with my head though.
Please flair as rant/rave
[Rant/Rave] [RANT] I'm starting to hate vegan food.
/u/UnskinnyVegan [171cm | Too high | Too high | Ick | ]
Created: Tue Nov 14 20:27:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d1anw/rant_im_starting_to_hate_vegan_food/
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I'm not talking about fruit and veg, obviously. But every low-calorie stuff has some sort of animal product in it and there're days when I miss just having protein; egg whites and canned tuna, specifically. 20 calories and 60 calories per serving, respectively.
Canned tuna and egg whites were my previous safe-foods that curbed my hunger, on top of veggies. I love beans/legumes/chickpeas but they have relatively *so much* calories in them and the flavoured ones have *so much added fat* in them.
On top of that, everything pre-prepared vegan these days have so much oil, coconut milk, and margarine and stuff in it. It's more calorie-dense than the normal stuff and it's not even nutritious... there's barely any protein or fiber in those stuff. A "high protein" vegan freezer meal had 600 calories in it and *so little protein* compared to a standard diet freezer meal.
And I haven't even gotten started with the prices yet. I love soy yogurt, it's 20 calories per serving... but it's also 8 times more expensive than the cheap brand of plain fat-free, sugar-free yogurt. Also, the coconut yogurt has so many calories in it that it may as well be cream. I'm envious of normal diet ice cream that are high protein and low calories... when I'm stuck with either sugar-water or really fatty stuff that's calorically worse than normal ice cream.
I just want canned tuna. I've been craving it for days and days and I almost added it to my shopping cart several times. It just really, really sucks that I haven't found anything equivalent to it, price-wise and nutrition-wise, that's vegan.
PS: Sorry if I upset other vegans; I'm not the most empathetic person and I started being vegan for environmental reasons, mostly. It's been OK but it's a lot harder with my current calorie/protein/nutrition obsession.
[Discussion] What hobbies do you guys have outside of your eating disorder?
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | 120.3 | 19.4 | 13.4kg | 27.7-]
Created: Tue Nov 14 20:26:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d1af9/what_hobbies_do_you_guys_have_outside_of_your/
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When I was at my worst, I struggled a lot with thinking about anything but food and weightloss. I didn't have anything that I found to be funny at all other than eating. My ED still turns me into a little calorie nerd, but I feel like I've established some 'healthy' hobbies and interests over the years.
For example, I enjoy TV-shows like Doctor Who and Supernatural. I like record shopping and I really, REALLY like music. Always have. I love horror and especially Junji Itos works. I like playing bass and I like writing.
I feel like it's important to distance ourselves from our EDs sometimes and remember that we are more than pounds. height and TDEE. That's why I'm making this threat.
What do you guys like to do?
[Rant/Rave] [SO EMBARRASSING THERE'S NO TAG FOR THIS] I decided I now fit a UK6 but then ripped my trousers at work
/u/skinnypod [5'6" | 121 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 14 20:11:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d179l/so_embarrassing_theres_no_tag_for_this_i_decided/
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Shoot me.
I fit into my size 6 trousers now but then when I knelt down to stock the wine fridge I ripped the leg right up the calf seams. Damn my bulky calves. Had to do my whole shift like that.
No more free beer drinking for me.
[Rant/Rave] Binging for no reason
/u/kittybunny75 [5'6 | CW:100 | BMI: 16.1 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 14 19:55:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d13lc/binging_for_no_reason/
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[removed]
[Help] How do I stop eating like this?
/u/midwesthoe- [5'1| 105 | 19.8 |20F|]
Created: Tue Nov 14 19:46:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d11gx/how_do_i_stop_eating_like_this/
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[removed]
[Other] Does anyone else here love to read/watch other people eat a copious amount of food?
/u/kwog
Created: Tue Nov 14 19:30:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d0xyo/does_anyone_else_here_love_to_readwatch_other/
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When I have an urge to binge or eat, or even if I'm just in bed for the night, I love to read old r/askreddit threads about the most food people have ever eaten. I used to even love to watch The Biggest Loser back when it was on Hulu just for the Temptation Challenges where morbidly obese contestants had to eat tons and tons of food... When weightlifters post about their cheat days, I get so excited to hear about what they have!
I've never seen anyone else post about this stuff, and sometimes it gets hard to find posts where people eat a lot of food at once (even typing it out seems silly...) but I don't know, it just seems so satisfying to hear about other people eating large amounts of food... Does anyone else like reading/watching that kind of stuff?
What is the most you've managed to lose in a week and how did you do it..?
/u/mina1200
Created: Tue Nov 14 19:29:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d0xwh/what_is_the_most_youve_managed_to_lose_in_a_week/
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[removed]
[Help] Question about brain fog and exhaustion
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 151.5 | GW: 118 | -15.3 | F24]
Created: Tue Nov 14 18:41:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d0nca/question_about_brain_fog_and_exhaustion/
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So I'm 149lbs at 5'2" and have been steadily losing since august. Lately I've been restricting to 600-800 cal a day, and I'm just exhausted guys. Like, I take my ADD meds (can't function or focus without em) so I stay awake but I'm SO. TIRED.
I know restricting can cause exhaustion but I thought that only happens once you're at a low weight? I mean my body is burning fat to make up for what I'm not giving it to keep functioning, so its not like I'm actually starving. The energy is literally stored right on me! I try to get in at least 50grams of protein a day, and i drink plenty of water and poweraid zero, so I don't know why I can't shake this fatigue and brain fog....help
[Discussion] DAE be like "woah! i actually have an eating disorder!" and be lowkey shocked for some reason?
/u/salt_skin [5'4" | CW: disgusting | BMI: 23.1 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 14 18:08:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d0g0e/dae_be_like_woah_i_actually_have_an_eating/
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me not being sober on a fucking tuesday evening may be contributing to this, but i'm having one of these moments now. i've been in "sort of" remission for awhile. i'm not actively restricting and haven't been for awhile, but it wasn't an intentional decision so i just feel that my ED is just constantly lurking.
i still weight myself nearly every time i'm in the bathroom, i'm always counting calories and i don't end the day without knowing how many calories i've consumed because i've memorized the calorie content of most things i eat. i'm constantly comparing my body to everyone else's and constantly fighting the urge to purge. i always want to punch myself in the face for even typing the phrase "urge to purge"
even when i'm not actively engaging in ED behaviors it's just still there and when realized this i'm just like "ooh shit dude! you fucked up and now this is part of your life forever!!!!"
[Rant/Rave] zoinks scoob she’s onto me (advice?)
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW: 142 |CW: 125 |20.6 |GW 115 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 14 17:51:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d0cbw/zoinks_scoob_shes_onto_me_advice/
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Oh BOY. So it’s my last full day of vacation today before I can finally go home and restrict and shit. The family already ate some chick fil a earlier and I had some, but am still full. We get to my grandmas house and she’s made a full dinner. I’m still full, so I told everyone that I was still full and didn’t want to eat anything else.
My mom proceeds to follow me to the room I’m staying in and ask me if I have an eating disorder. She first pointed out that I look thin and that I use the bathroom a lot, to which I said I drink a lot of water and that if I was throwing up she’d probably be able to see it in my face and my teeth and throat would definitely not be the way they are now. I completely thought that would work, but then she says “there’s other ways to purge” AND LOOKS AT MY BAG WHERE MY FUCKING JOURNAL IS WHERE I WRITE ABOUT MY DAY AND LOG MY FOOD. I’m not sure if she’s seen it or not, she could’ve just been guessing, but I do use a lot of laxatives. I nearly shit myself I swear
I then talked about how Ive been under a lot of stress and how that always messes with my stomach and how I eat, which is kind of true, and told her that I would never try and keep up with an ED because of health risks to my body and shit. She said she trusts me and stuff but still looked doubtful and I kind of feel shitty.
Has anyone else had a situation like this happen to them? I’m sure some of you have. How did you deal with it?
I definitely don’t want to stop until I’m at least 115-120, then I’ll be fine with maintaining, but shit. That sucked.
[Discussion] Question: what is the most ridiculous food you saw someone eat trying to lose weight?
/u/NIN_88 [5'3 | SW: 128 | CW: ~115 | GW:89 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 14 17:28:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d073p/question_what_is_the_most_ridiculous_food_you_saw/
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Definitely not the craziest out here, but the other day I saw a young teenage girl (around 5'5 and 220lbs) eating an entire box of these so called "fit" cookies that are supposed to be "healthy" because they contain oats and nuts and whatnot. I won't lie, they are really delicious, but just one small cookie contains 51kcal and the entire box makes up to ~1300kcal.
I heard her talking to her slim friend about weight loss and she just kept eating those cookies in the hope of suddenly shrinking into a size 4.
I sometimes wish I could step in and explain how it works, but then I'll seem suspicious of an ED. I hope I'm not the only one here.
[Discussion] Diagnostic.
/u/sadbean17 [ 5'4" | 122lb | 21.9 | 17F]
Created: Tue Nov 14 17:23:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d05pt/diagnostic/
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Please put as discussion:)
I was wondering how you guys told your doctors/got diagnosed, although I'm not underweight, I think it's possible I could have an BED, and I'd like to find out but I dont know how to bring this up with my doctor?
[Discussion] Where do you buy pants?
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Tue Nov 14 17:00:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7d008b/where_do_you_buy_pants/
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Specifically if you’re smaller than a 0/00 and tall enough to need tall sizes. Kids sizes are all too short, and I’m not sure what to do! I can’t rock the Capri look all year.
Scrubs are also a disaster. Where are my XXS tall scrubs?!
[Rant/Rave] Please, for the love of god, stop one-upping me
/u/mintslut
Created: Tue Nov 14 16:43:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7czw9r/please_for_the_love_of_god_stop_oneupping_me/
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My boyfriend - my wonderful, completely non-eating-disorder-behaviored boyfriend - is driving me insane.
If I mention I'm fasting, he'll get all frowny faced and concerned about me. If I say I feel like I'm slipping back into a disordered mindset, he's there to pull me out. If I ask his permission to eat something I usually don't/shouldn't eat, he almost always says yes (I have a weird thing about permission to eat).
But if I say that I "haven't eaten all day", or that I missed breakfast, he always one-ups me.
"Yeah, I missed breakfast *and* lunch."
"All I've had today is coffee."
Whyyyyyyy???? Why would you say that to me? To meeee? The girl you know has eating problems!!! The girl who's already super self conscious about what/how much she eats!!!!
It's so awful, feeling like I'm in competition with my own boyfriend. It's even worse because he's 6'2 and could very well eat the things I want to eat without getting fat.
Worst part is, I don't think I could tell him any of this without feeling like shit because he's the only person who's really there for me.
[Rant/Rave] 30 cal, cheap deliciousness
/u/lesscush4smoosh [5'9" | avoiding scale | will update | not sure | F]
Created: Tue Nov 14 16:22:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7czrfh/30_cal_cheap_deliciousness/
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https://imgur.com/9FXkriM
[Rant/Rave] I think my purging wrecked the pipes.
/u/tsundokulady [169cm | 48kg | 16.8 | grrlish]
Created: Tue Nov 14 16:21:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7czr87/i_think_my_purging_wrecked_the_pipes/
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[on mobile: rant/rave flair]
Hi guys, I am mostly a lurker (though you all are lovelies!) but like this is something that has been bugging me a lot and I have no one to really talk to about this kind of stuff so.
I moved into a new apartment building this summer. It was really relieving to me in some ways because I had practically no privacy in my prior living situation and well, yo, I have raging needs for ED and self-harming behaviors. Now I can do that kind of stuff in peace, yeah?
Not exactly. I see my neighbors daily because of the apartment setup, and the walls are really thin, and people can probably see that though I go shopping for food often that I always look sick and have been losing weight. Though I haven't heard anyone talk about it I think it is a given that they know I have some issues with food. If it were just one or two of them it would be okay, but my apartment has a lounge and social events so I feel like my neighbors could be gossiping about me or something.
Also, I think my purging is wrecking the pipes in my apartment.
There is a big leak in the wall by my room and stains in the carpet outside and I feel like it is a scarlet letter marking the sicko crazy chick as if you didn't already know! It has gotten so bad I think they have to break open the wall to get to it and literally only I live in this area (it is a corner room and the next one is vacant). I feel like it is obvious that it is my habits that caused it -- it started after I moved in, and I live in a country where the pipes are often quite thin.
I am just majorly embarrassed and ashamed and feel like I am bother totally unrelated people now. Also I am quite scared that I will get a fine from the building management and I don't even have the cash for my meds and therapy right now. And I am STILL purging most days. Stress triggers binges, and I must purge every time I binge. I just want to cry or something argh I am just so anxious and ashamed right now. I am too old for this shit lol. Thanks if you've bothered to read this.
[Discussion] DAE HATE jeans sizing discrepancies?
/u/elbiscuitface
Created: Tue Nov 14 16:15:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7czpho/dae_hate_jeans_sizing_discrepancies/
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I absolutely despise the inconsistencies in sizing of jeans!
It is so frustrating how difficult it is to accurately measure what your size is nowadays & how much your body has actually changed. Sometimes a size 1 in one store is actually a size 4 in another. So you happily fit in a size 1 only to go to another store to find you can barely get yourself in the same size. It is so disappointing!!
Depending on the store, I can fit into things from a size 0-8? How the heck???
And I think it is only getting worse as time progresses. 2-3 years ago, at a low weight of 95, I could fit comfortably into a size 2/3 consistently through stores.
Now, I’ve gained comsiderable weight around my thighs & legs and can fit into a size 1??
I’ve also noticed these discrepancies to be far more prevalent now b/c I do not think it is just a difference in different stores sizing anymore, but also the material of many jeans has become more...stretchy? It is hard to explain, but I’ve noticed the style of jeans that is popular in stores nowadays is more of jegging, stretchy material that makes it even less reliable when trying to find your accurate pants size.
I know weight can be a helpfulish indicator...but I find fitting into clothes to be more useful, b/c I am trying to tone up and gain **some** muscle.
I know vanity sizing is a thing in the U.S, but I am curious to know if any other countries have had a similar phenomenon occur?
...maybe I am being a bit too neurotic about the whole thing though but it is frustrating to me.
I’d just like some honesty!!😬
[Discussion] Does anyone own a mini stepper/stair machine?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: who knows? | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 14 16:12:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7czos1/does_anyone_own_a_mini_stepperstair_machine/
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I just bought the Sunny Health and Fitness Adjustable Twist Stepper for exercise when I don't have time to go to the gym, and I was wondering if anyone knows how to estimate how many calories it burns. The machine itself has a calorie calculator but I have no idea how accurate it is and "twist stepper" isn't returning many results online.
[Intro] New subscriber, long time follower
/u/Ayencee
Created: Tue Nov 14 16:01:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7czlx1/new_subscriber_long_time_follower/
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This sub really helps me not feel alone. Just took my clothes off to shower and I was so disgusted with how I look and how guilty I feel for the extra 200 calories today that I'm actually wanting to cry. Any tips for feeling better?
My dad is in town too and I'm supposed to get dinner with him but I don't know if I can handle that. Ugh.
[Discussion] DAE have real life thinspo/fitspo at the gym?
/u/krombopuloskayla
Created: Tue Nov 14 15:47:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7czinx/dae_have_real_life_thinspofitspo_at_the_gym/
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There are a few girls that regularly go to the gym where I work out and just seeing them encourages me to work harder especially knowing that there's no way they can be photoshopped so that's ACTUALLY attainable.
[Discussion] [Discussion] Anyone else feel like they go through the 5 stages of Grief when they see their weight?
/u/DeathmetalFiretruck [5'5 | 82lbs | BMI 13.81 | 102lbs Lost | Female]
Created: Tue Nov 14 15:28:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cze3t/discussion_anyone_else_feel_like_they_go_through/
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Honestly, this is why having a disorder is so exhausting.
**Denial:** What, no I can't weight that much/little!
**Anger:** STUPID SCALE WHY ARE YOU LYING TO ME
**Bargaining:** Okay, i'll eat x amount for x days to get to x weight in x time. Sounds good? Sounds good.
**Depression:** I am a potato of sadness.
**Acceptance:** Cest La Vie.....
[Discussion] What are you attracted to in men and women around you?
/u/blandafterparty
Created: Tue Nov 14 15:21:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7czce4/what_are_you_attracted_to_in_men_and_women_around/
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Reminder to myself
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 14 14:10:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cyttj/reminder_to_myself/
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[deleted]
[Help] My period lasted for literally one night...
/u/jjfmish [5'6 | SW:163lbs | CW:148lbs | LW: 19/F]
Created: Tue Nov 14 13:33:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cyjx0/my_period_lasted_for_literally_one_night/
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I'm still on the upper end of a healthy weight range (so faaaar from underweight), I've lost less than 20lbs and I restrict pretty high (900-1200ish). There's absolutely no chance that I'm pregnant if you know what I mean.
My period came last night but today there was literally nothing. TMI but I actually had to check if I left my tampon in from last night but I didn't.
I've always had super regular periods so this is really unusual.
Any explanations?
[Rant/Rave] bought books instead of binge food
/u/peachybummer
Created: Tue Nov 14 13:09:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cydeo/bought_books_instead_of_binge_food/
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went to pick up some home supplies at the grocery store, and naturally i walked all around the store looking for binge food. but everything just looked so gross, even things i liked. until i saw those Harvest Snap Peas, one of my go to binge items and a trigger for me to buy more binge food later. i had them in my hand by the checkout ready to scarf them down on my walk home, but something came over me and put them back and walked out. on my walk back home there’s a bookstore, and decided to stop in and pick up a few instead. i hope this a step in the right direction and not an isolated innocent, but it’s the first time in a month or two i said no to food. and i am a little proud of that.
unnecessary books > unnecessary calories
[Intro] Just want to introduce myself :)
/u/overdonesecret [5'4 | CW: 135 | GW: 95]
Created: Tue Nov 14 12:23:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cy18v/just_want_to_introduce_myself/
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Hi! I'm 22 and I've been binge / purging for about 5 years (and sometimes restricting, but most of the time I try to restrict I find myself binging anyway). I've gotten to the point where vomiting is super easy for me, as easy as peeing I guess. I only recently just recently realized that other people might not see my behaviors as normal. I've never actually been diagnosed with any ED (cause I haven't gone to a hospital in like 15 years). Anyway, I just found this subreddit yesterday and I made a new account to post here cause I don't want any friends or relatives to see it. The only person who knows about my b/p habits is my bf but he thinks I stopped 2 years ago.
Anyway, that's about it! I'm pretty happy to have found this sub.
[Intro] Hey...long time, no post
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Tue Nov 14 12:21:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cy0zr/heylong_time_no_post/
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My flair is absolutely incorrect. I cannot believe that I was at 90lbs earlier this fall.
I am now at 107 lbs this morning. I am entering residential in late November but I want to keep postponing it so I can lose weight. Fuck. 107 lbs.
I have 2 weeks. I don't know if it is even feasible being mostly bulimic but I need to be under 100. Is this even possible?
I haven't been here in forever but always do better when I'm here. I can never leave this place. I know I'm doing residential and I DO want to get better but I want to be 105lbs TOPS and I'm afraid they'll try to restore me to 115 or more.
[Discussion] [REMORSE] Does anyone else kind of miss FatPeopleHate?
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 147lb | 21.32 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 14 12:13:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cxytd/remorse_does_anyone_else_kind_of_miss/
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I always felt bad for the people who were being posted about, but it was such great reverse thinspo. I don't visit the new version over on Voat because I know it's a vile community, but this disease makes you read some weird disturbing stuff sometimes.
[Discussion] SERIOUS QUESTION: Has anyone’s ED actually been ‘caused’ by Barbie dolls or the media?
/u/ghostFriend_Kasper [5'2" | 127lbs | 23.2 | GW 95-100 |-41lbs | 20F]
Created: Tue Nov 14 11:59:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cxul9/serious_question_has_anyones_ed_actually_been/
---
I know a lot of people would blame barbies for ED or even the media, which I can understand the media a bit more than barbies, but I never understood how barbies trigger it?
Mine started after living in Japan, I was so jealous of how my bf’s body looked, and all the Japanese people around me, that after I naturally lost weight just from living there, I actively began restricting and b/p. Also, a bit of Korean celebrities like idols or dramas. (So I guess that’s media, but it started after my ED started).
Just a shower thought, I’m really curious to hear everyone’s opinions/background.
[Discussion] I donated blood! Here's my experience.
/u/mintslut
Created: Tue Nov 14 11:41:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cxpxd/i_donated_blood_heres_my_experience/
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It went well, surprisingly. I live in Canada, so here's how it went down for me:
First, I came in and did a sort of a questionnaire about my travels, whether I had any blood-borne diseases, had sex with a gay man (??), stuff like that. I also filled out some information for my blood donor card because it was my first time donating.
Then, I talked with a nurse about what I might expect while/after donating. She pricked my finger (on the spindle of a spinning wheel...jk lol) and told me my haemoglobin count. The standard is 125 but you need to be over that in order to donate (mine was 148! Probably because I had a lot of iron rich foods that day).
Here's the kicker - and what I was most worried about - nobody asked me for my weight! I felt... relief? But also like, damn I'm obviously not physically underweight enough to not donate. Idk. That was my experience (in Ontario, mind you), but other places might be different.
I had to wait for a bit, about five-ten minutes to donate. And then it went by pretty quick, honestly. I didn't really wanna look at the needle going into my skin so I went on Reddit while they set me up. The first like 20ml of your blood goes into a sample bag that is sent to be tested for like HIV and hepatitis or what have you. And also your blood type! Which you only get to find out after your blood donor card comes in the mail...
The rest of the 480ml is stored until it is used! I also learned that women must wait a longer time to donate than men. I think it was 84 days for women between donations and 56 for men. So the next time I can donate will be in March.
They ask you to stay in your seat for a couple minutes while they bandage you, then you can go eat some food in the refreshment area. I sat there for about 15 minutes. Originally, I had planned on not eating anything there, but at that point I was feeling a little woozy. So I had four Oreos and some water.
Before donating blood, I think I'd eaten a total of 620 calories (which was way over my daily limit). But by the time I got home, the woozy feeling didn't really go away, so I ended up ordering a medium cheese pizza with my sister. I had four slices, and ended the day 400 calories under my TDEE for that day (1427 + 650 calories burned from giving blood).
I think it was a good thing I did. I'm feeling much better today, though I am up by two pounds (likely food and water weight). So yeah, all in all, it was a pretty good experience. I didn't binge on the pizza, which is huge! I ate over the course of half an hour, as I was playing a game at the same time. I recognized when I was full, and even though I wanted more pizza (and probably could have fit it into my TDEE) I didn't eat it, because I didn't want to binge.
Overall, 8/10 experience. Next time I'll be more prepared for the woozy feeling and definitely drink more fluids. I had three 24oz bottles of water throughout the day and that still didn't feel enough.
TL;DR: Giving blood is a good thing to do and is not scary and everyone should consider doing it if they are able!
[Help] I'm scared
/u/NIN_88 [5'3 | SW: 128 | CW: ~115 | GW:89 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 14 11:37:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cxoq1/im_scared/
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So after a week or so followed by eating barely nothing (200kcal max.) I completely lost my appetite! I tried to eat more than 1000kcal today and I just *couldn't*. I felt full. Same as yesterday.
Now I just kept thinking how great I should feel now because a month or so I ate around 3500kcal and how I *wished* I could get full at around 1000 because I'd lose weight with ease.
But now, I'm scared. I'm scared I might get my old appetite back in any second and gain even more weight, because that's exactly how I went from 105 to almost 130 in 2 months. I feel so good now and I don't want this feeling to end.
Any tips? I know I need to relax, but how?
[Intro] [Intro] I'm tried of being told that I am more than my size
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 14 11:33:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cxnql/intro_im_tried_of_being_told_that_i_am_more_than/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Best workout journal app?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 14 11:27:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cxm32/best_workout_journal_app/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Inquisitive boyfriend worried about my ED
/u/poppybex
Created: Tue Nov 14 11:11:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cxhxe/inquisitive_boyfriend_worried_about_my_ed/
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My boyfriend has been asking so many questions he's worried about my binging and purging and thinks I might die (he's extra) if I keep going. I'm 30 lbs away from my GW I'm by no means tiny and knowing that he typically loves skinny girls doesn't help so I'm not sure why he's so adamant about my habits. DAE SO asks so much about the habit and the process?
Saw this subreddit, now I DESPERATELY want to relapse
/u/inkyMayhem
Created: Tue Nov 14 10:54:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cxd9d/saw_this_subreddit_now_i_desperately_want_to/
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[removed]
[Discussion] what's the strangest/ most memorable thing you've seen on an ED site?
/u/angelweight
Created: Tue Nov 14 10:29:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cx6tg/whats_the_strangest_most_memorable_thing_youve/
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I've got a few. On mpa a girl posted how she likes to cook but not eat, but her BF liked her cooking.
A male member starts flipping out on her accusing her of trying to 'fatten up' her BF. She insists she wasn't and the argument just went on and on and on. It was ridiculous.
And of course oki/ fasting sensei. He binges to gain 100+ lbs then starves himself to underweight, then does it all over again. The guy is an absolute sweetheart but is, shall we say, intense!
[Rant/Rave] I was almost okay with my body this morning
/u/Size666 [5'8F | Walrus | -40lbs | UGW: 113]
Created: Tue Nov 14 10:26:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cx5sq/i_was_almost_okay_with_my_body_this_morning/
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I was walking past a huge screen with a front-facing camera and for a few seconds I actually didn't recognize myself. It wasn't like a negative "who the fuck is that lardass--oh god is that me?" kind of moment, I literally just didn't recognize the person walking towards the screen and I think it was the first time in a long time that I saw me as I am, without all the dysmorphia warping my perception of myself.
There was nothing especially remarkable about the girl on the screen, she wasn't a despicable monster, she wasn't the size of a small giant living among normal-sized humans, she wasn't the shape of a soda can, her head wasn't too small for her body, her chin didn't have multiple chins underneath. She was just a normal, forgettable size and a regular forgettable human shape. She just looked like a lady rushing past a screen on her way to work, dressed in black, looking a bit despondent. I felt nothing about this lady's body, good or bad. If someone asked me whether she was a walrus, I would have laughed and said of course not.
It took another block before my brain convinced me that the camera must have some kind of 'funhouse mirror' effect, essentially dismissing whatever positive body moment I had and making me feel stupid for even pretending that I could look normal. Fun.
No real point to this story, just felt like sharing.
[Rant/Rave] I ALWAYS do so well the week leading up to a special event and then go insane with bingeing the days before it
/u/ignorado [🍑: ignorado]
Created: Tue Nov 14 10:09:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cx1by/i_always_do_so_well_the_week_leading_up_to_a/
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I feel so god damn sad right now and just wanted to vent here. I've been so good with restriction (although I still couldn't control purging) and I was steadily losing around a pound a day.. which made me happy and feel good, even though a lot of it was water weight. I've been heavily monitoring all my food because my boyfriend is flying up to see me for 8 days on Friday and I wanted to look good for when he was here.
But nope. I got my period this week and it's been full on binge mode for three whole fucking days. As in 3,500 calorie days. And now I'm heavier than fucking TWO WEEKS AGO. I just wasted TWO WEEKS of restriction because I couldn't control myself for three stupid ass days. Now I look like a whale in all the lingerie I looked cute in last week.
PLUS it doesn't help that my boyfriend is also obsessed with calorie counting and working out so he's super lean. His legs are literally half the size of mine because he's so damn tall. I feel like such a fat ass next to him even if he tries to tell me otherwise.
I've been abusing laxatives like crazy and almost called 911 during one of my episodes because I was in such great pain that I couldn't even BREATHE without it feeling like someone was punching me in the guts. Now I'm in a 50 hour fast in a desperate attempt to get rid of all my bloating before he gets here. Fml.
Why am I like this.
[Help] maintenance tips?
/u/emotionalthr0w [5'9 23F. SW:182 CW:133.8 BMI 19.4]
Created: Tue Nov 14 10:05:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cx061/maintenance_tips/
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i'm down nearly 50 lbs and i'm starting to lose momentum in a big way (caught in a binge-restrict-binge cycle). i'm willing to try anything to get out of this situation so i'm changing my goal to maintenance for now. but that's a hard mindset for me to get into (it feels very all or nothing for me) and i'm afraid of experimenting with my intake to figure out my tdee.
does anyone have stories or advice? i'm really feeling desperate and i'm just trying not to erase any progress. ty guys <3
[Intro] I know I know, back again :( But I can't stop bingeing CCW
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 147lb | 21.32 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 14 10:00:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cwyvj/i_know_i_know_back_again_but_i_cant_stop_bingeing/
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I know over the past year I've been in and out of this subreddit. I promise you all that during that time I have been lurking, just not posting. Anyway a lot of emotional stuff has been happening and I can't seem to stop bingeing. I feel so fat and ugly and hate the way that I look and feel. I'm poly and this week lost two of my partners. At the same time I finally started hooking up with a guy who's been after my for two years and tells me I'm sexy all the time. I just don't feel it. So anyway after this rant I've planned out my schedule for a while. The problem is that I'm going to Greece next Friday for a week! Lucky for me I'm already a vegetarian so that cuts things down a bit, but I'm not looking forward to any weight gain on the trip.
**Food Plan**
**Breakfast**
* Coffee w/ Sweet N Low - 4 cal
* Quaker Oats Real Medleys Blueberry Hazelnut - 270 cal
* 2 Primatene + 200 mg Caffeine
**Lunch**
* Questbar Chocolate Chip Cookie - 190 cal
* 2 Primatene + 200mg Caffeine
**Dinner**
* Amy's Frozen Meal ~ Either the Light & Lean Bean & Cheese Burrito for 280 cal or the Light & Lean Spinach Lasagna for 250 cal
Once I finish the oatmeal I already have I'll probably go back to Dannon Light & Fit Greek yogurt for less calories. I'm currently 5ft9in, live a sedentary life, and weigh 147 lbs. CCW
[Rant/Rave] frustrated and confused
/u/citygirlcitymind
Created: Tue Nov 14 09:23:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cwp6r/frustrated_and_confused/
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i’ve been looking at photos of myself and i can swear i’ve been losing weight? i look thinner around the middle and even though my period is coming i am barely bloated, but the scale is not budging (in fact it says i gained a pound). i don’t know what to believe, is it possible i’ve deluded myself into thinking i’m losing weight? is the scale broken? does anybody else feel like their physical results do not coincide with the numbers?
at this rate i’m worried the number will never budge (even though i look thinner i still want to physically weigh less so that i can know and be proud of my weight)
(mobile sorry i can’t flair)
[Help] I have a bit of a dilemma. *purge related*
/u/deadlylikesugar
Created: Tue Nov 14 08:56:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cwi4o/i_have_a_bit_of_a_dilemma_purge_related/
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I have tried googling the answer to this with no avail, so I'm hoping someone here might be able to find the answer I'm looking for, or has experience with it!
I take Vyvanse (time release formula), which is great to cut cravings early in the day, but as the day goes on, it becomes more difficult to resist. There are also instances where I am forced to eat when I don't want to, due to being around people.
My question is: If I were to purge several hours after taking my time release Vyvanse, would it make it less effective for the rest of the day? I've been finding myself in so many situations where I want to try and purge mid-day/early evening, but I'm scared it'll put my Vyvanse to waste for the rest of the evening and make it even more difficult to resist food (my cravings always get more intense and harder to resist at night as it is).
When I've tried googling this question, the only answers I can seem to find relate to the effectiveness of a pill if you throw up *soon* after taking it... but I want to know if the time release formula will still be effective after vomiting *hours* after taking it.
I hope this makes sense! Any advice/personal experience would be so so so appreciated! Thank you! ❤️
[Rant/Rave] Outed at the Doctor's office by diagnostic software program.
/u/fieryanxiety
Created: Tue Nov 14 08:56:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cwi2g/outed_at_the_doctors_office_by_diagnostic/
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So I went to my primary care physician for a mandatory check up to continue my thyroid medication. First of all, dumb. I've been on the same dose for 8 years but they want me to come in twice a year. I have never indicated that I have an eating disorder. Never told them or gave them reason to believe that. And they have never once commented on my weight. Also, even at my lowest I have never been alarmingly underweight. I would say my weight in the past 5 years has ranged from 114-145 and everything in between. Apparently they have this new thing that they type in your data and symptoms and whatever else and it gives you a list of possible diagnosis. I, being curious, nosey and a bit of a hypochondriac, leaned over to peek at the screen. Right at the top of the list: "Anorexia Nervosa" I was like WOAH HANG ON NOW. This machine is blowing up my spot. I'm kind of pissed. Little robot bastard. Lol
[Help] Yoga??? How do you guys do it? My hip bones (front and sides) and spine and tailbone press the ground so hard. What do you guys do to make yoga comfortable??
/u/iamactuallyfood [5'2"| 93lb | 17.01 | -23 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 14 08:55:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cwhxz/yoga_how_do_you_guys_do_it_my_hip_bones_front_and/
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At home I quad up a plush blanket (fold in half twice) and that works really well for me but obviously I can’t take a blanket to yoga. Help?
[Rant/Rave] If I don’t eat my team is going to send me to residential.
/u/taiteisnotcool
Created: Tue Nov 14 08:35:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cwcxm/if_i_dont_eat_my_team_is_going_to_send_me_to/
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Hi! I’ve posted a few times before in the past. I’ve been in “recovery” for the past 10 months, going through inpatient, partial hospitalization, intensive outpatient programs x2 and now after my second relapse my treatment team is threatening residential if I️ don’t get my shit together. I’m only 15 and the closest residential treatment center is a state away and my mom is too attached to send me (thank god) because she thinks she can just force me to eat. I️ don’t know what to do anymore, my depression and anxiety is just fueling my anorexia ( I’m weight restored and can’t even restrict to under 900 calories) I️ know I’m never going to be the way I️ was before, restricting to under 250 a day, losing over 3 pounds a week and it’s killing me. I️ just want to be as sick as I️ was before.
[Other] Body Acceptance Survery
/u/flyleafet9
Created: Tue Nov 14 08:25:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cwaib/body_acceptance_survery/
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Hi all! I created a survey intended to show the various opinions on body acceptance and I would love it if you all would respond to it and share it.
I intend on using the data for a school research paper. The most identifying questions are the demographic questions, so the rest of the information will remain anonymous - I don't intend to out anyone here.
I want to clarify that I am NOT a professional, so questions and responses are intended to be straightforward and taken at face value. I admire the honesty in this subreddit, so please don't hold back when responding.
Once you complete it, please share it. If you have any questions/concerns, just lemme know. Thanks!
https://goo.gl/forms/8tWmZ5c1UEljEsfB2
[Rant/Rave] Anyone else tell someone their weight and people get surprised that they weigh that little?
/u/vuuv95 [5'4 | CW: 108 | GW: 95 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 14 08:08:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cw6kq/anyone_else_tell_someone_their_weight_and_people/
---
Context: I was talking to my boyfriend’s cousin about how much I can squat and deadlift and basically said that I can deadlift sets of more than my BW now and told him my weight and he’s like really? You only weight x? I sort of just laughed and said yeah I don’t look like it but it’s been a day and I can’t stop thinking about it. This isn’t the first time someone has reacted like this towards it either. I know I’m bottom heavy and often cover the top half of my body more so than my legs but seriously, as if I didn’t hate my legs enough.
Sorry, this turned out longer than I thought. I feel really really shit about this.
[Rant/Rave] I ate a whole pizza in front of me friend yesterday...
/u/am_i_the_grasshole [5'8 | CW:122 | 18.6 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 14 08:00:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cw4nr/i_ate_a_whole_pizza_in_front_of_me_friend/
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Cue her asking me, "How do you even stay so thin?"
Well my dear, for one I've been alone all day so this pizza is actually the only thing I've eaten other than black tea and a tablespoon of peanut butter for breakfast.
Two, while it may seem like I just now decided what to eat by looking at the menu, I've actually been compulsively playing with this restaurant's website's interactive nutrition calculator on and off all day since you first mentioned to me that we should meet up here. And in doing that I determined the optimal pizza that would be unhealthy enough not to arouse suspicious (no one questions anything with bacon on it) and low calorie enough to eat the entire thing (modifications like thin crust, gluten free, minus the garlic oil, minus the ham bring it down to 190 calories per slice making the whole thing only 760 calories (and with that place the average whole small pizza is around 1300 or so)).
And three, which is also the only thing I ended up saying to her, "Dude I'm like half a foot taller than you, I can eat a lot more that you can."
Sigh I'm so good at this not making people suspicious thing.
Edit, she only ate half her pizza and also made a comment during this conversation like 'daaaamn you ate that whole thing! I could never! That's so much!' But little does she know, because she didn't modify it, her half pizza was pretty much the same amount of calories as my whole pizza.
[Tip] If the scale doesn't budge, check your measurements! (Aka I fit into new jeans and am ecstatic)
/u/nicfrae [5'7 | CW 125 | BMI 19.6 | GW 115 | UGW 98 | - 80 | F24]
Created: Tue Nov 14 07:04:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cvs3q/if_the_scale_doesnt_budge_check_your_measurements/
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So I'm going to a concert in two days and in an effort to not look like a WHALE I've been restricting pretty low and fasting on average around two days a week yet no change on the scale for about a month now. I've "binged" (eaten maintenance) quite a few times which always makes me plateau but even so, I should have lost at least a few lbs.
Welp, I'm not relying on the scale anymore.
Today I went looking for an outfit for the concert and once I realised how I've shrunk, ended up getting an XS bodysuit, three pairs of UK 8 (US 4) jeans and all fit. I've been a pear shape all my life and until now have NEVER even gotten close to pulling up anything under a UK 12 (US 8) up past my thighs and here I am 4 whole sizes down. The pair I got for the concert say 25 1/2 waist djslkdslsf;l I was a 32-33 waist in January!
TLDR Bye scale, I'm not listening to you anymore
[Rant/Rave] Can't enjoy even a small archievement
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 60.9 kg | BMI: 22.6 | -22.6 kg | 21F]
Created: Tue Nov 14 06:46:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cvolo/cant_enjoy_even_a_small_archievement/
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Today I woke up feeling chubby and wobbly (basically like shit). But my mood was lifted a little when I went shopping for pants and actually fit into a (German) size 36, mind you I started with size 42/44 in jun. Just at that one store but fuck it, a size 36! And then a friend said "yeah but it doesn't matter, they're just some numbers made up by the fashion industry". Guess who's not eating today!
[Discussion] November 14th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 14 06:05:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cvgdh/november_14th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What do you need to vent about?
[Rant/Rave] Fat Friend/Gf rant
/u/2sugoi4you666
Created: Tue Nov 14 05:48:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cvdat/fat_friendgf_rant/
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Ugh so I'm going to Colorado with my bf and some of his friends in January and I opened Facebook to a private group message saying how excited they all are and we're gonna go to the hot springs...fuuuuuck I'm suddenly under pressure and feeling panicky I've never worn a swimsuit in front of bf and I didn't plan on it anytime soon...suddenly I'm not excited for this trip. Now I'm just obsessing over losing x amount by January. Fff. As if I wasn't already stressed out enough by other shit! Sorry for the random rant I just needed to vent somewhere....
[Discussion] Questions for you guys
/u/RatchetButtons [5ft9 | ? | ? | GW: 56kg | F]
Created: Tue Nov 14 05:22:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cv8qn/questions_for_you_guys/
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Hey!
I have some questions, its always really interesting and a tad comforting to hear peoples experiences.
* What is your age and how long have you had it?
* Type/s of ED you have experienced?
* What has been your best and worst ED moment?
* What areas of your life have been affected by it the most (positive or negative)?
Thanks for any input you can give, really appreciate it :)
[Help] Binged all weekend and gained back 3 pounds :(
/u/imnidades [5"3 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 14 05:18:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cv804/binged_all_weekend_and_gained_back_3_pounds/
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Mom went grocery shopping before going out of the country so the house is full of food. I couldn't help myself I just binged from Saturday to Monday (today) and now I gained back 3 pounds :(
My goal weight is <100, I WAS 118 but now I'm back to 121. (My starting weight was 125). I'm so frustrated because my weight plateaus at 120. :( Now I might have to deal with that again.
I want to fast but this week is kind of hard since there's all this food here. I dunno.. maybe I should just eat all of it so it'll be gone next week THEN I can start my fast. T.T
What's annoying is that I have no appetite when I'm depressed but when I feel okay I have a regular appetite. I can be depressed and thin or happy and fat.
[Help] I think I need to break up with my boyfriend
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 14 05:15:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cv7eq/i_think_i_need_to_break_up_with_my_boyfriend/
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[deleted]
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday November 14, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Nov 14 05:10:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cv6o1/thinspo_tuesday_november_14_2017/
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Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 14, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Nov 14 05:10:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cv6nf/daily_food_diary_november_14_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 14, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Goal] Completed my first 24hr fast
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Tue Nov 14 04:06:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cuwmh/completed_my_first_24hr_fast/
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All in all it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.
I had a V8 juice 250ml popper and chai latte at about lunch time and I feel as long as I have 1 day of eating and 1 day of not I'll be okay 😃
[Other] how can i fake drink alcohol?
/u/Trynabeskinny [5"1 | SW 216 | CW 185 | GW 96 | F | 🍑 trynabeskinny]
Created: Tue Nov 14 03:33:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7curyf/how_can_i_fake_drink_alcohol/
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my best friend is having his party from 10am until the next day. at a winery with cheese etc.
Im EDNOS. i eat two meals a day and purge them both.
I only drink water and diet coke.
it takes me at least 3-5 days to get back to a pre-not purged meal weight.
i already gained 2 kg this weekend and i cant do it again I'm exhausted.
normally if i have to eat in front of others i can easily spit food in a napkin or my pockets with noone noticing.
i cant slip wine into my pocket.
help me please im stressed if i cant avoid drinking i just wont go
[Help] Tips for a 5 day water fast...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 13 23:52:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ctvx8/tips_for_a_5_day_water_fast/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ctvx8/tips_for_a_5_day_water_fast/
[Help] Heart complications???
/u/floatingalong_ [5'6" | CW: 90.8 | CBMI: 14.7 | GW: 85lbs | F]
Created: Mon Nov 13 23:49:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ctvfe/heart_complications/
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Does anyone else have heart complications as a result of their ED? I've been told I have an abnormality in my heart rhythm, some kind of block (the specific name of it escapes me at the moment, was told when I was taken into hospital by my parents). Feel so alone right now, I dunno what to do. MH services have given up on me and I'm running myself into the ground ED wise. I am literally fucked.
[Rant/Rave] Sadness
/u/serenityswild
Created: Mon Nov 13 23:26:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ctrjz/sadness/
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Ugh I know that weight naturally fluctuates throughout the day but this morning I was 147 and now I'm 148. I know it's not a huge difference, but it makes me feel terrible.
I need to stop. This ED has grown so quickly and holy shit is it slowly taking over.
I haven't lost a lot of weight at all yet. Only 12lbs.
But I'm also now only 13 pounds away from my goal weight.
All I want to do is starve myself. I just want to wake up skeletal. ( I know it doesn't work that way)
I weigh myself like 50 times a day.
It's starting to get seriously unhealthy. But I'm not ready to stop yet either.
I want to be 135 by the end of the year.
And hopefully 125 not too long after that.
I'm so insecure and just want to feel good about myself for once.
[Rant/Rave] Will being thin make me good enough?
/u/Doctor_stranger14
Created: Mon Nov 13 23:12:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ctp35/will_being_thin_make_me_good_enough/
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I keep feeling like im not good enough for anyone.
I hooked up with a guy i was friends with for years and he ignored me/stopped speaking to me the next day as another girl showed interest in him. She was objectively gorgeous and tiny.
Every guy seems to see me as good enough to have sex with but would be ashamed to date me.
I just got out of a pretty bad relationship, its been 2 months but I feel broken. I still worry if he was right about me. That im worthless and horrible. Maybe he was the only one that could possibly put up with an awful person like myself?
I feel so pathetic, i just want to eat everything...but i feel like if i was thin i would be less worthless. Maybe worthy of love
/rant
[Discussion] DAE binge their hearts out the day before a diet?
/u/decima205 [5'6" | SW: 150 | CW: 142 | GW1: 130 | UGW: 105]
Created: Mon Nov 13 23:03:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ctnl1/dae_binge_their_hearts_out_the_day_before_a_diet/
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I'm starting the ABC diet tomorrow, and today I just seriously let myself go. I literally started justifying everything with, "Well I'm starting the diet tomorrow, so to hell with things today!"
Ate 2000 calories. ugh. But tomorrow, it'll be 500, so.... it's okay, right?
[Help] Losing weight in college while also having energy to focus on schoolwork?
/u/z4ynmalik
Created: Mon Nov 13 21:52:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ctahh/losing_weight_in_college_while_also_having_energy/
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I'm a 20 year old female, 5'3 108 lbs (BMI: 19.13). I really want to lose at least 10 pounds. Every time I starve myself during the day, I binge eat ramen noodles or something super unhealthy for dinner because I tell myself that I need food to focus on studying. Is there any way to break this cycle? I notice myself losing a few pounds here and there but I just gain it all back. I've been around 108-112 pounds for the last six months. How do I get past this plateau?
[Thinspo] Mirror Mirror on the wall, who’s the thinnest of them all? “You areeeee😂”
/u/DeathmetalFiretruck [5'5 | 82lbs | BMI 13.81 | 102lbs Lost | Female]
Created: Mon Nov 13 21:46:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ct9an/mirror_mirror_on_the_wall_whos_the_thinnest_of/
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https://i.redd.it/9fqdvhwafvxz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Halo Top oh my God!
/u/PenMorrisek
Created: Mon Nov 13 21:40:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ct837/halo_top_oh_my_god/
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So I'm eating my first ever tub of Halo Top, it's birthday cake, and it is SO GOOD! It's also super rich and creamy so I'm having to go slow. Now I understand what you guys were talking about. I only leant it was available in Aus yesterday. It's super expensive but right now, so worth it. (And today is so bloody hot. Lifesaver.)
Edit: Annnnd it's gone 😆
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend said I need to eat more and that cuddling me is like cuddling a twig and now I feel even worse.
/u/fimuckmylife
Created: Mon Nov 13 21:32:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ct6hs/my_boyfriend_said_i_need_to_eat_more_and_that/
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It makes no sense. This should be something I want to hear. I should be happy that I'm thin enough to him I'm being called twiggy but it felt awful to hear him say I need to gain weight and oddly enough just made me want to lose weight even more because I felt like such shit and losing weight makes me feel less shitty. I wish people wouldn't comment on my body. Just let me look the way I want to look please. I don't need your input. The other day I mentioned how I'm at a healthy weight and not underweight and his response was, "Really? Are you really?" in disbelief, like saying sure you are in a completely sarcastic way. I just hate it when people are so critical of my body even when they are critical in a way that acknowledges the changes I have been striving for. All this has me restricting even heavier but I know that is just going to cause more comments like this and make me feel more like shit. It's like an inescapable viscious cycle. And shouldn't I be happy other people see me as thin? Maybe I'm just too sensitive to criticism of any kind to actually enjoy what I should take as a compliment. I want to be underweight and bony so bad. Shouldn't I be happy other people already see me that way? Ugh. My ed brain makes no sense. I can't figure out if it was the criticism that really bothered me or just the thought of someone wanting me to gain weight.
[Discussion] Girls, would you have an ED if you were a guy?
/u/lavenderbruises [5'9"|CW 109| GW 100| BMI 15.87| 19F]
Created: Mon Nov 13 21:13:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ct2p3/girls_would_you_have_an_ed_if_you_were_a_guy/
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I definitely wouldn’t. If I was a guy, I’d probably be one of those tall, skinny nerds who can’t gain a single pound no matter how much they eat. I also wouldn’t feel the same pressure to be skinny, nor would my self worth be measured by my looks.
I honestly wish I was born a boy.
[Help] Starting the pro ana diet
/u/strangegurl44
Created: Mon Nov 13 20:17:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7csr6m/starting_the_pro_ana_diet/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] A hurtful thing happened at the gym today. I'm really bummed out
/u/quoth_the_phoenix
Created: Mon Nov 13 20:14:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7csqhg/a_hurtful_thing_happened_at_the_gym_today_im/
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I'm pretty new here. I'm fat at 5'3 and 143 pounds. My usual good weight is 130 (not thin but I'm content there) but I always gain weight during my severe depressive episodes. I mostly struggle with binging (usually but not always accompanied by purging) and I restrict when I am not so depressed.
After the worst time of my life this past February through September, I gained 25 lbs and ballooned up to 155. The depression started to lift in October. I'm proud of having lost 12 pounds so far. I have 13 more to get to 130 and then I may set a new lower goal weight for myself.
Anyway, here's what happened. I finished my Zumba class at the gym and there's free yogurt samples (promotion for the last few week) so I take one. I love that yogurt. It's 210 calories each and high in sugar but I can fit it into my 1200 cal a day plan easily.
Then I see a supplement that is being offered as a sample. I'm looking at it and this trainer/employee appears and asks if I have any questions. I asked a question about the supplement and get an answer; don't even remember what I asked anymore. I thank her for her response and turn to leave.
THEN out of nowhere she says "don't eat that yogurt." I say "what?" It catches me off guard. She asks if I'm trying to lose weight and I say yes. She says again to not eat the yogurt and explains to me that it has a lot of sugar (21 grams). I say "OK, I'll give it to my mom or dad." Because with my upbringing, my automatic response to food policing by others is compliance.
I stayed within my calorie goal today but I did eat the yogurt and I feel really bad. Like I'm so fat, other people feel the need to stop me from eating certain foods. Also I know sugar is bad for you but I still crave it and is a 210 calorie yogurt really so bad? That's really insensitive and hurtful to say to a stranger who may have ED issues.
Anyway end of rant. Thanks for reading. Can anyone relate? I know I asked the employee about the supplement but I did not ask her about the yogurt; that was totally unsolicited advice.
[Rant/Rave] now i fit into all my old clothes from high school and it feels great
/u/iceteabitch
Created: Mon Nov 13 19:19:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7csem6/now_i_fit_into_all_my_old_clothes_from_high/
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yay relapse!!
(mainly because i dont need to buy bigger clothes.. lol i literally couldnt afford to buy new clothes now anyways)
im 20 so it hasnt been that long but its soooo nice to be back in pre-hospital clothes. and now all my american apparel size small skirts fits slightly loose and perfect ahh!
i mantained my weight for a year and hated every second. turns out i hate my body and want to die even when im not malnourished.
i dont have a scale which sucks but at least i know im making some progess.
[Rant/Rave] DAE find it triggering to see former anorexics who've gained a lot of weight?
/u/antimeridian [5'5" | BMI 16.5 | trying to gain 🌻]
Created: Mon Nov 13 18:58:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7csa13/dae_find_it_triggering_to_see_former_anorexics/
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This anorexic girl I went to high school with has been steadily ballooning after "recovering" from her eating disorder. (At least she says she's "recovering." I'm pretty sure she's just traded AN for BED.) I hate seeing people lose control of themselves like that.
I will never let myself get fat. NEVER.
I'm trying to gain a small amount of weight to get my physical health back. But after seeing her, eating dinner was a lot harder than usual. I don't know why it bothered me so much. It's completely possible to gain without going off the rails entirely...normal people do it all the time. I'm just going to unfollow her on Facebook and try to forget it.
[Rant/Rave] I feel like such a fraud some days.
/u/IttyBittyBatty [5'5"| -18.8lb | F]
Created: Mon Nov 13 18:52:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cs8or/i_feel_like_such_a_fraud_some_days/
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I read your stories, empathise with your issues and am happy when I can give a word of advice... but deep down inside I know I'm far too fat to be here. My relationship with food is not healthy -- but is it really a disorder if all the results are positive? I can't possibly be starving when I take my vitamins and stay hydrated, there's too much of me for my body to feed on. Even my therapist is thrilled that I'm losing weight and never asked how I'm managing it.
I've been fasting for days with 500cal or less "meals" once every 20hrs or so. It's working. Excepting a few alcohol fueled binges I've been steadily shrinking, now -17lb since the beginning of October. That's only about -2lb per week, which from all I've read is the high end of normal weight loss.
So, is it this restricting obsession that's sick or am I'm shedding the sickness that I've lived for the last 10 years? I feel so proud of every .1lb that I lose -- how is that an illness when I'm successfully moving towards an ultimately healthier and actuially pretty life?
I needed to get that rant out. I don't intend on leaving the sub any time soon unless I'm asked to.
[Help] how to get energy to work out?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 13 18:49:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cs82j/how_to_get_energy_to_work_out/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Dehydration is making me second guess my weight
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Mon Nov 13 18:30:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cs3pg/dehydration_is_making_me_second_guess_my_weight/
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I have been eating very little for almost the past week and drinking heavily every night. I’m going thru some shit and I’m not hungry at all and drinking is the only thing that makes me happy. I have dropped 2 lbs since last week (5’1 and 114 now) but I feel like that doesn’t count because I know I’m very dehydrated. I’m not counting my calories but I’m pretty sure it’s been an average of 200-300 cals a day so I know I probably lost real weight but the dehydration is really fucking with me.
Also my fingers have been tingling for days and my mind is foggy as fuck.
Is the fingers thing due to the dehydration?
[Discussion] Hey Perfectionists, what are your workouts?
/u/Uppity-Kitten [5'2" | CW: 70kg |BMI28| 5kg| GW50kg | 21F]
Created: Mon Nov 13 17:52:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cruxg/hey_perfectionists_what_are_your_workouts/
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I've just started swimming and am trying to get into a solid routine. I know that if I push myself too hard, I won't want to keep going. Because of my family, I can't really restrict. So just wondering what everyone does in regards to workout routines?
[Help] A birthday dilemma
/u/lilmdjd [5'2 | CW: IDK, TOO MUCH| GW: 100| 22F]
Created: Mon Nov 13 17:41:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7crse7/a_birthday_dilemma/
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So my birthday is this Saturday. Naturally, this has triggered a dramatic relapse to old behaviors because I literally can't shake the image of how much smaller I was this time last year. I have been attempting a PSMF + EC stacking, and tomorrow ill be day 2 (day 1 of 100 percent adherence to macros because I had to grocery shop), but my dilemma is that my sister is coming this weekend and we are going to brunch on Saturday for my birthday and I know I will have to eat. How should I navigate this? I feel like my only option is to let myself think of it as a mini-refeed (even though I technically won't need one yet at all) and just try to stay around maintenance, but I'm so scared ill lose control and eat everything :(
Any advice/ideas??
[Discussion] Is anybody else really happy aside from their ED?
/u/CannonEyes
Created: Mon Nov 13 17:24:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7crodw/is_anybody_else_really_happy_aside_from_their_ed/
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I'm pretty sure I am the happiest I have ever been. I'm becoming really happy with who I am as a person. Some days I even love how I look! (Albeit I am still constantly obsessing over how I look)
But while I'm at my happiest, my ED is at its worst. I guess I thought being happy would magically make it go away, but apparently happiness and eating disorsers are not mutually exclusive.
[Other] Oh perfect.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 13 16:31:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7crbrm/oh_perfect/
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https://i.redd.it/ms2a2ze5vtxz.jpg
[Help] boyfriend taking me to my favorite restaurant saturday?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 13 16:16:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cr7xa/boyfriend_taking_me_to_my_favorite_restaurant/
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[deleted]
[Other] Kik groups?
/u/wxnter- [5'4 | CW: 120 | 21 | UGW: 93]
Created: Mon Nov 13 16:13:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cr77l/kik_groups/
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[removed]
[Help] Any good (discrete) kik groups out there?
/u/wxnter- [5'4 | CW: 120 | 21 | UGW: 93]
Created: Mon Nov 13 16:09:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cr6bq/any_good_discrete_kik_groups_out_there/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I just find it interesting
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 13 15:59:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cr3og/i_just_find_it_interesting/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Hydroxycut? Diet pills
/u/breakingpointt
Created: Mon Nov 13 15:45:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cr06w/hydroxycut_diet_pills/
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[removed]
[Other] Anyone else take pictures of themselves in unflattering clothes as reverse thinspo?
/u/am_i_the_grasshole [5'8 | CW:122 | 18.6 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 13 15:10:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cqr70/anyone_else_take_pictures_of_themselves_in/
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My phone is full of these. They're actually videos, like two minute videos where I'll move around and pose in different ways then take loads of screenshots from them. My intention isn't always reverse thinspo, sometimes I just do it to see how I look in clothes or for fun.
But other times when I'm in a certain mood I'll do deliberately bad ones, like by wearing a short leather skirt because holy shit does that make my thighs look massive and wobbly (the combination of the skirts shortness and tightness is just rough). Literally nothing in this world makes me want to fast more than these sorts of pictures of myself. These pictures have an almost nauseating effect on me. And sometimes I like that.
[Rant/Rave] Talk me down
/u/light_as_a_feather04 [5'6 | 108 | 17.4 | GW: 98| 34/F]
Created: Mon Nov 13 14:44:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cqkbd/talk_me_down/
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So I weighed in at 107 on Friday... ate like shit on Saturday and weighed 110 yesterday morning. I ate 1 meal but drank a lot. My meal was rice, black beans, and cheese. I felt too guilty eating it. I purged most of it up last night after about 40 minutes. I ignored the scale this morning while getting ready for work. However, my jeans were way tighter than they’ve felt in a while. I know it’s probably in my head but I feel so utterly disgusting and fat. Like my thighs seriously didn’t grow by a 1/2 inch overnight, did they?
Y’all, I’m panicking. Big Time. I can’t shake this or allow myself to relax. I can’t not eat dinner or my boyfriend will get upset. Fuck fuck fuck. All I want to do is run a few miles but I’m stuck at work. I can feel my waist growing. I want to die
[Goal] Fasting Monday-Thursday❤️
/u/tattoosandcoffeee [5'3.75 | GW 100 | -20]
Created: Mon Nov 13 14:40:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cqjba/fasting_mondaythursday/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] [Rave] How are these only 40 calories??
/u/wanderingdorathy
Created: Mon Nov 13 14:29:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cqg63/rave_how_are_these_only_40_calories/
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The weather has cooled down and I have really been wanting warm food. I found [these](https://www.greengiant.com/products/detail/green-giant-just-for-one-broccoli-cheese-sauce-4-ct-trays/) single servings of broccoli in cheese sauce while looking for vegetables and thought I would try them out.
they are warm
they are cheesy and garlicky all in one bite
**they** **are** **only** **40** **calories**
they are so filling and I love them and I just wanted to share my new love with all of you lovely people who may also want warm gooey cheese covered broccoli goodness.
[Goal] Fasting Monday-Wednesday
/u/tattoosandcoffeee [5'3.75 | GW 100 | -20]
Created: Mon Nov 13 14:28:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cqg17/fasting_mondaywednesday/
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[removed]
[Other] what other subreddits do you like?
/u/bellexy [5'8 | tubbalub | -20 | GW 118]
Created: Mon Nov 13 14:24:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cqexx/what_other_subreddits_do_you_like/
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maybe off-topic??
my tangentially-related ones are fatlogic, 1200isplenty/jerky, getmotivated, probably others
my favorite non-related ones are probably legaladvice (esp sorted by controversial), boottoobig, bipolar, bulletjournal, and occult.
how bout yall? i'm itching new awesome subs to stalk from the top of all time down
[Thinspo] r/thinspo frustrates me sometimes
/u/selfharmaccount123
Created: Mon Nov 13 14:20:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cqe13/rthinspo_frustrates_me_sometimes/
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I feel like it's becoming more and more a porn sub like I see more people that post and comment in porn subs on there and I get shit on and downvoted every time I post male thinspo
Taking advantage of being sick and trying a yogurt mono today.
/u/organmay
Created: Mon Nov 13 14:12:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cqbwx/taking_advantage_of_being_sick_and_trying_a/
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[removed]
[Help] binging as a coping mechanism
/u/squishykiss
Created: Mon Nov 13 14:00:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cq8q1/binging_as_a_coping_mechanism/
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it honestly feels like my life is falling apart. i've wasted so much money on tuition and board for this semester of uni, with classes that i've either medically withdrawn from or am failing. i don't have a life, anymore. i'm either binging or starving myself. right now it's day 2 of this binge phase & i have eaten myself sick & i can't function when my head's this foggy and my mouth almost burns from how much food i've been scarfing down & my stomach hurt so much & im nauseous. it feels like im never going to get better.
i'm just going to stay swollen from gorging myself or slowly shut down from malnutrition and depression. i feel so alone and backed into a corner. my face is breaking out from how much dairy and sugar and grease i've been shoveling into my body. i feel like a fat lumpy acne-covered freak, destined to go nowhere in life. nothing feels real anymore. my family will never realize the extent of how bad my thoughts can get. im too ashamed to get help. i dont know what to do anymore
[Rant/Rave] We did peer grading on our last college speeches and the girl I graded did hers on eating disorders...
/u/CassTheUltimateBA [5'10 | 135.9 | 19.5 | 85 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 13 13:51:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cq66g/we_did_peer_grading_on_our_last_college_speeches/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Tried to buy lingerie and failed. Feel awful.
/u/snow-faerie
Created: Mon Nov 13 13:46:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cq4s7/tried_to_buy_lingerie_and_failed_feel_awful/
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I was feeling super excited about being much closer to my GW (my original healthy weight) so I went and bought myself a garter belt and stockings as a 'gift' to myself. I followed the height/weight requirements and surprise, I am too fat for the items in my weight/height category. I feel so mortified and discouraged and after a very dramatic weekend with a near break up, my confidence is at an all time low today. I've spent the last 4 days sleeping from feeling so upset, so this attempt to make things better feels like it made it worse. Should I keep the items as goal weight rewards? Or should I return them... and get something bigger? :(
[Rant/Rave] I'm a normal weight...
/u/Pettybettyjones
Created: Mon Nov 13 13:42:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cq3u3/im_a_normal_weight/
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But I love feeling empty. I have always loved feeling empty...it's how I've prepared myself for events, presentations, classes...it's how I can nudge my self-esteem forward.
That said, I don't lose much weight ever. I've never fasted for more than 15 hours. My weight is stable, and within normal BMI range. Nobody has ever been concerned about me, except therapists (and even then they recognize with me that an eating disorder is not my first foremost problem).
But I have lurked here for actual years now. Almost every day at the least, with one spell of not visiting for about two months. I have an obsession and an ideal I fantasize about.
Wish I knew what to make of myself.
Anyone wishy washy about diagnosing themselves with even EDNOS?
[Rant/Rave] Triggering at Work
/u/321Model
Created: Mon Nov 13 12:41:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cpnj5/triggering_at_work/
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This happened a couple of months ago when I was and it’s stuck with me.
I work at a food company (triggering enough, right?). A thin female co-worker was presenting at a company meeting. Before she began talking business, she shared an anecdote about food. She said growing up her grandmother would serve her and her brother Chocolate SlimFast and told them it was chocolate milk and therefore she didn’t realize what real chocolate milk was until she got older.
Immediately after she said that, a middle-aged guy in our company said “It worked!” Some people giggled, some jeered him. This guy has always been an asshole making sexist and inappropriate comments, however this one naturally spoke to my insecurities.
Of course I think he’s a piece of shit for saying that, however sometimes his comment motivates me and I think “Of course it’s best to be thin!” and “What else do you expect men to be attracted to?”
I don’t want him or attention from any man other than my husband (I can’t deal with it), but I’d be hella satisfied watching him drool when he sees how sexy I look when I lose this weight.
Anyone have attention issues? Anyone have any work triggers?
Should i take my meds while fasting... They have to have calories right?
/u/selfharmaccount123
Created: Mon Nov 13 12:30:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cpkku/should_i_take_my_meds_while_fasting_they_have_to/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Finally got under 31kg! Now 30.6 (67.4lb) I've been stuck in the 31kg's for ages! Now I'm to scared to eat or drink because seeing 31kg again would feel devastating 😕 2.1kg to go til I reach my lowest weight ever again.
/u/AnonymousFugget
Created: Mon Nov 13 12:11:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cpfh8/finally_got_under_31kg_now_306_674lb_ive_been/
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https://i.redd.it/y3h18wonksxz.jpg
Pre thanksgiving support?
/u/th3Y3ti
Created: Mon Nov 13 12:01:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cpcps/pre_thanksgiving_support/
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[removed]
[Help] Has anyone gone to the hospital for suicidal thoughts?
/u/DoNotEatAllTheDonuts [5'7 | Baby Elephant | GW 110| 27F]
Created: Mon Nov 13 11:51:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cp9ro/has_anyone_gone_to_the_hospital_for_suicidal/
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So, I'm really struggling. I have ptsd, and for a lack of a better word, this time is super triggering. I'm just not ok. I saw my psychiatrist last week and she gave me enough medicine to get through the next two weeks, well I work 9-5 and I can't get anyone to take my shift. So I'm having overwhelming suicidal thoughts and I can't get to my doctor. I'm thinking about going to the emergency room but I'm terrified of being drugged up, and being held hostage. I was wondering if anyone could share their experiences?
Make raw veggies taste way better with...
/u/PetraQuill
Created: Mon Nov 13 11:46:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cp8f1/make_raw_veggies_taste_way_better_with/
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[removed]
[Other] Non ED related, sry, but have you ever really regretted not talking to a cute stranger? lol
/u/Lidostis4
Created: Mon Nov 13 11:39:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cp6ke/non_ed_related_sry_but_have_you_ever_really/
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It was a bus stop and this cute, tall black guy comes up and we're waiting together among other people and I kinda felt like he seems to be looking my way? But at that point I might've imagined it. Then, my bus came and I got on. And I looked at him lol and he was looking the other way somewhere but then turned and looked right in my eyes and I got shy cuz eye contact, bleh, and then the bus rode away and now I'll never see him again probs.
And then at home I started to fucking cry!!!! Bcus I felt like I should be more outgoing and was mad at myself for being a shy loser lol. I felt like he was probably an amazing person and I just wasted a chance. I could've just been like "sry, dude, can you tell what's the time" or smthg like that. You know, just ~test the waters~
But also, he was cute so probably not a shy guy, so if he didn't reach to me he just probs didn't like me that much or at all and I'm making up a whole lot of bullshit.
And it's been half a day since then and I just caught myself thinking "hm what is he doing now" :D
im pathetic
&I rly regret not asking anything to him. I will be braver next time
Edit: I mean, boys are supposed to approach girls, right?
[Rant/Rave] My ED is driving me nuts.
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 60.9 kg | BMI: 22.6 | -22.6 kg | 21F]
Created: Mon Nov 13 11:17:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cp0nc/my_ed_is_driving_me_nuts/
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[RANT]
Some days I wonder if my brain is working properly. Today I weighted myself and surprise it went down another 500g over night! That should be enough reason for a rave no? You bet. I looked in the mirror and just felt awefully fat and it just got worse over the day. I continued to look at my legs and at other girls legs and did the worlds smartest thing, I compared myself to them. Of course there were some goal legs and others that made me think "oh god, I look like that! Gotts restrict some more!". Got home and had dinner. All in all I only had 625 cals today but I feel terrible. My stomach hurts because my digestive system isn't working properly (might be ED related but I don't know...could be my gallstones too so whatever) so right now I really regret eating at all.
[Discussion] Does chew/spit interfere with fasted state?
/u/valentineviolette [5'1 | 154lbs | -14lbs | F]
Created: Mon Nov 13 11:07:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7coy3i/does_chewspit_interfere_with_fasted_state/
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I'm curious though if anyone have any particular insights or anecdotes on chew/spit during intermittent fasting. Have you noticed it interfere with your fasting in any way? Do you think it breaks the 'fasted' state?
[Discussion] How often do you go to the bathroom while restricting?
/u/vitalogy95
Created: Mon Nov 13 11:01:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cowj0/how_often_do_you_go_to_the_bathroom_while/
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I usually go once every other day or once a day, which is still not the greatest. Now that I’m restricting, it seems I barely go at all. I have also recently developed lower left back and lower left abdominal pain/aching.
Possibly constipation? Or does it make sense that I’m going so seldom?
I’m eating less than 1000 most days. About once a week I’ll eat around my TDEE, but never over.
Can anyone try to guess my starting and current weight?
/u/jjfmish [5'6 |19/F]
Created: Mon Nov 13 10:57:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7covea/can_anyone_try_to_guess_my_starting_and_current/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] the hypocrisy of having an eating disorder in a medical nutrition lab
/u/futuredust_
Created: Mon Nov 13 10:16:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cokpa/the_hypocrisy_of_having_an_eating_disorder_in_a/
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I just want to get this off my chest. I'm currently sitting in a nutrition lab, and today we are doing an oral glucose tolerance test. You essentially prick your finger and test your blood glucose levels before taking a drink, then 3 times after in 30 minute increments. The drink contains 75 g of sugar (~300 calories from sugar). I did NOT want to do this lab, but I did not have any verifiable data (e.g. diabetes or pregnancy) to prove that I can't participate. I need the points in class, so I chug this disgusting orange drink. As soon as I'm done, I rush to the bathroom and purge the drink (and my morning coffee + whatever crap was still sitting in my stomach from eating last night).
I'm questioning why my fasting blood glucose levels were 77 mg/dL, but they were still a little higher after purging (88mg/dL). I just feel so fucking bad sitting here in a class of nutrition students. There is a high instance of eating disorders in my major, but that really doesn't make me feel any better. I'm graduating in a month, and I'm just as unhealthy as I was 5 years ago.
Thanks for listening.
[Rant/Rave] Just a thank you from a lurker
/u/PMmeMalinowski
Created: Mon Nov 13 10:09:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7coiul/just_a_thank_you_from_a_lurker/
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I hope I'm not breaking any rules by posting this, and if I am, please let me know!
I've been struggling with disordered eating since my daughter was born 2 years ago. After I had her, I was 5'4" and 150 pounds. I hated myself. I couldn't even look in the mirror. So I started dieting. I cut down to 1400 calories a day and within 4 months I got down to 125 pounds.
It's a constant struggle. Because my severe OCD took over, and I started to obsess over the calorie count in everything. How many calories are in toothpaste? How many calories in the piece of gum I just chewed?
People started treating me differently. My husband really does love women of all sizes, but once I got hip bones he started making comments on my body; how much he loves how big his hands look on me. How he wants to nibble my hip bones. People started being nicer to me- I get so many more compliments, people are friendlier, I feel more worthy. I get a sick sense of satisfaction when I'm the smallest person in the room (because I'm disgustingly obsessed with being small and dainty). When I see old friends or people who are objectively more attractive than me, I'm proud that I'm smaller than them. At least I have that, right?
So I continue to restrict. I skip meals. Eat a 300 cal lunch and then fast until the next day. I live on black coffee and cigarettes (I'm a fricken living cliche I swear). I want dainty wrists and ankles, long thing fingers.
And I feel so damn lonely all the time. Because no body gets it. How hard it is to have your brain constantly say "fat slob. You don't deserve that apple. You are too much today." To constantly think about calories and plan your whole life around when you can eat next. The anxiety of going to family dinners because you know your grandmother is going to make your favourite food but you can't eat it because you ate a bagel this morning. The constant whispers in my head "quit fooling yourself. You have hip bones but you're still massive. Obese even. Your thighs still touch. Your arm fat flaps when you wave at people."
So I just want to say thank you. For being so real and raw here. And showing me that I'm not alone, that there's hope for me, that one day I might be "normal again." Thank you for sharing your stories- your successes, your heart aches, your frustration and anger and elation.
Thank you guys.
Ps I can't flair because I'm on mobile- sorry!
[Discussion] DAE feel bad about their sources of thinspo?
/u/allquiets [5'1.5 | 146 | 28.23 | -4 | 85 | NB]
Created: Mon Nov 13 09:34:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7co9sw/dae_feel_bad_about_their_sources_of_thinspo/
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the one i've got that i feel really icky about is finn wolfhard. like... why do i want the body of a teenage boy? i'm 18 and i just feel so gross because of it. i think it has to do with the fact that i'm trans and at 5'1" i doubt i'll ever really look like an attractive adult man. idk i just feel super weird and gross but i don't want to feel weird and gross by myself??
[Discussion] DAE spend HOURS on r/food?
/u/dre-ezy
Created: Mon Nov 13 09:19:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7co5xd/dae_spend_hours_on_rfood/
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I can’t help myself.. it just looks soo fcking good haha
god im hungry
[Discussion] Weight Gain but differently
/u/borrow_our_light [5'6| 132.2lbs | 21.42 BMI | GW 125 | UGW 115 | 20F]
Created: Mon Nov 13 09:12:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7co434/weight_gain_but_differently/
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So this may be an only me thing but every time that I yo-yo between weights I always end up gaining the weight in different places. Its honestly the most frustrating thing because I keep having to change how I dress. Does this happen to anybody else?
[Rant/Rave] Surprise!
/u/trop_mince [5'8" | CW: 129.4 | 19.46 | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 13 09:04:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7co1vg/surprise/
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My boyfriend and I are getting Chinese food tonight. Definitely a hard meal for me to eat, but I have managed to find a meal that makes him happy (aka, he doesn’t realize how little calories it is/it doesn’t worry him) and me happy - I never thought I’d eat get Chinese takeout for under 400 calories!
[Help] lmao does clothing with weights inside it exist? or is there any way i can get weights that'll be discreet enough to hide in my clothes?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 13 08:20:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cnqj5/lmao_does_clothing_with_weights_inside_it_exist/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] But what does that mean?!
/u/Strawberry2point0 [5'8" | CW: 156 lbs | GW: 120 lbs | 21M]
Created: Mon Nov 13 08:00:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cnlnk/but_what_does_that_mean/
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Long time lurker, first time poster here. I just had to get this off my chest.
A couple months ago I went to the ENT office to get an issue with my ear fixed. They didn't have me stand on a scale, but the nurse asked me for my weight. I told her my honest weight (160 lbs), and she did a double-take, looked me up and down, and said, "Are you sure? You don't *look* like 160."
At the time I just shrugged and was like, "Haha, well, that's what the scale said when I stepped on it this morning," but for the last few months I keep coming back to that sentence. Did she mean I looked fatter than that, or skinnier? The first option makes more sense, because *clearly* I am the Fattest Fat to Ever Fat, but at the same time, my rational mind says it'd be pretty unprofessional for a nurse to tell a patient they look fatter than their weight. The latter option completely blows my mind, because my body dysmorphia is so bad I literally have no idea what I actually look like. The idea that someone could look at me and say I look *thinner* than my actual weight is something I can't even fathom.
I wish I could go back in time and ask her what she meant. ;_;
[Help] I could use some support.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 13 07:46:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cnih2/i_could_use_some_support/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cnih2/i_could_use_some_support/
[Rant/Rave] Tiny friend losing weight 😭
/u/posyposer [5’4 | 21.5 | CW: 125 | GW: 115]
Created: Mon Nov 13 07:12:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cnb0t/tiny_friend_losing_weight/
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Ugh. Lately I’ve been maintaining; my boyfriend was worried and my parents seemed to keep reminding me to eat and I️ have so much going on with school that I️ let myself get comfortable and stay purposely distracted but not any more. My tiny best friend said she’s going to lose weight, and I️ believe it. Now I️ really do need to try for those last eight pounds. I’m sick of being the fat one. I️ fucking hate myself and I️ hate that I️ let myself get here. I’m pathetic.
[Discussion] Tell me, is it all about control for you?
/u/cuttoarose
Created: Mon Nov 13 05:53:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cmvox/tell_me_is_it_all_about_control_for_you/
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Over and over again I see that one of the underlying causes of ED's (anorexia anyway) are that the sufferer feels a lack of control in their life and went to restricting food in order to fulfill that desire. I have never felt like this. Not once. At 12 years old you could hardly describe my life as being out of control. My biggest concerns were petty middle school drama. My Eating Disorder stemmed from a desire to be thinner! I read about ED's constantly, was fascinated, and when I started to become dissatisfied with my weight I thought to myself "well, I guess I should try that anorexia thing". Because I (unfortunately) was predisposed to the illness, here I am years and years later. It was never about control. I'm getting tired of this statement being universalized towards all ED's (okay honestly we are just talking about anorexia here). I am also tired of seeing underlying causes of ED's represented as being a lack of love and attention from family. God knows I never experienced that. Yet here I am. I have a strong desire to control my food intake, but it is NOT because all other aspects of my life are falling apart. I love my life. I love living. I would just rather live as a thin person. I think, as you can see, that this mindset also continues to perpetuate the idea that anorexia is the primary ED, the only one really worth delving into all the underlying causes. Which is another huge issue.
If you believe that your ED is about control in this context, I don't discredit you. If you believe your ED is the result of a poor upbringing, I don't discredit you either. That is your TRUTH. The problem is that MY truth never appears to be represented as valid, only superficial. Nobody likes to admit that they knew what they were getting into when they started. I am just tired of this being represented as the norm. Does anybody here have these underlying causes?
[Discussion] November 13th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 13 05:25:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cmqyv/november_13th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What song paints your self portrait?
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! November 13, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Nov 13 05:13:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cmozk/weekly_stats_update_november_13_2017/
---
This is the weekly status thread for November 13, 2017.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 13, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Nov 13 05:13:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cmoyw/daily_food_diary_november_13_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 13, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] accidentally repulsed by one of my danger foods
/u/puzzlette [5' 9" | CDS 12 | GDS 6 | SDS 14 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 13 04:38:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cmjef/accidentally_repulsed_by_one_of_my_danger_foods/
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One of my weaknesses is fried chicken. Every now and then i'll restrict for a day or so, and then binge and purge with it.
On Friday I bought a cheap oven baked replica, ready to shovel it all into my fat mouth and then get it back out as quickly as possible.
I cooked it up... and it was all *covered* in blood blisters. Every piece was leaking blood all over the oven tray. There was no saving any of it, the inside of the chicken was almost purple in colour, and it was totally ruined. It was disgusting. I hadn't bought an alternative meal and I don't keep snacks, so I just restricted again.
Now every time I think about fried chicken I shudder. I'm so happy, I won't have that temptation anymore. I'm trying to cut down on my purging, and this will make it easier.
Has anyone else ever ruined their favourite food?
[Rant/Rave] Struggling so much because of this stupid intake
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 102.9 | 18.8 | -34 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 13 04:29:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cmi40/struggling_so_much_because_of_this_stupid_intake/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] KFC TRIGGER
/u/serenityswild
Created: Mon Nov 13 04:10:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cmfag/kfc_trigger/
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I don't know why but when it comes to kfc chicken I can't handle myself.
I'm vegan, and not just for dietary but ethical reasons as well.
And even though they've been exploited for their overly terrible treatment of animals, my mouth waters when I drive past KFC.
Why am I so triggered by this???
When I look at the chicken pieces all I can think about is how bad that has got to be for me... but I crave and want it so bad
Exchanging peach usernames 🍑
/u/moonxwitch
Created: Mon Nov 13 03:39:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cmavm/exchanging_peach_usernames/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Anyone else not feel feminine unless they're skinny?
/u/raz563 [5"11 | GW: 120lb | Female]
Created: Mon Nov 13 03:20:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cm8bg/anyone_else_not_feel_feminine_unless_theyre_skinny/
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Skinny girls get a lot of crap for "not being real women" because they allegedly don't have curves. Yet I don't feel desirable or feminine unless I feel thin and delicate.
EDIT: Sorry, just to clarify - this is my specific experience, as a cis girl, of course others might not want to feel feminine or whatever.
[Rant/Rave] Moving into my own place!
/u/serpent_BOY
Created: Mon Nov 13 02:21:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cm07r/moving_into_my_own_place/
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So my friend and I are planning on renting an apartment this summer and I am so excited! There are so many pros, but of course I came here to share my ed brain barf. I can not wait to buy my own groceries! I'll be able to eat as little as possible and no one will notice. I only plan on spending $150 on food per month, mostly on fruit, soup, and coffee/tea. I wont be able to eat my roommates food bc anxiety. Plus I've been applying to night shifts so I could just tell my roommate that I eat lots and she'd believe it because she works afternoons at the same place. Probably the best thing is that I have no car. I'll have to walk or bike 6 days a week, no excuses. I'm just so so excited to finally be able to eat less and exercise more. I hope I finally lose some weight. I've been 125lbs since I was 11 and I've spent the last two years making excuses and binging.
Also, I hope this doesn't come off as glamourizing. That's not at all what I'm trying to do. It's just such a huge relief for me to finally have a plan. I always feel the need to tell everyone when I'm excited about something, but this isn't really one of those things that you can just share like a good grade, ya know?
[Other] Why does it feel like the good things happen when I’m not eating?
/u/filthypit
Created: Mon Nov 13 00:54:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7clo6u/why_does_it_feel_like_the_good_things_happen_when/
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More importantly - why do the worst things happen when my weight is up?
Am I more in tune with my misery when my intake is higher? Is my brain playing tricks on me?
Or is the universe trying to teach me a lesson?
Does anyone else ever feel this way? How do I mentally separate my calorie count from all the crap that’s out of my control?
[Discussion] How the f do i get rid of fat? It’s like I’m skinny but so fatty- if that makes sense. I hate my body ughhhh
/u/soph_bot
Created: Mon Nov 13 00:28:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7clkfx/how_the_f_do_i_get_rid_of_fat_its_like_im_skinny/
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[removed]
[Other] I wish I could separate from my body
/u/unpollutedfantasy [🥒]
Created: Sun Nov 12 23:51:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cletf/i_wish_i_could_separate_from_my_body/
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My body is just so foreign to me. I feel trapped.
I just wish I could just separate and detach from my body and throw my body in the trash. Which makes no sense, what would that make me, a ghost?
Sorry if this is like crazy talk, I’m very tired.
I’ll probably delete this when I realize how dumb I probably sound
[Discussion] Those of you who b/p, what are your safe foods?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 12 23:46:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cldzy/those_of_you_who_bp_what_are_your_safe_foods/
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[deleted]
[Other] WE ARE RIGHT GUYS.....Sort of
/u/selfharmaccount123
Created: Sun Nov 12 22:04:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ckwft/we_are_right_guyssort_of/
---
https://youtu.be/X1s_uRuZfzY
[Discussion] This week in ed
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 12 22:03:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ckw5o/this_week_in_ed/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ckw5o/this_week_in_ed/
[Help] I think I've relapsed.
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Sun Nov 12 21:47:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cktd8/i_think_ive_relapsed/
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I went on MPA today. I made an accountability thread. I'm trying to make a "buddy" (you know the kind). I'm trying to be invited into a kik group. I looked at a ton of reverse thinspo. I walked on the treadmill for an hour, and I usually never exercise (and I did the same thing last night). I would have probably ended sub 1000 today for the first time in forever if my boyfriend hadn't come over to comfort me. But he wasn't enough. I want to escape into weight loss. I'm too exhausted to even play my favorite video game of all time.
**I am so fucking depressed, and the only thing that feels meaningful is losing weight.**
[Intro] hey there
/u/m3lba [5'5" | 135lbs | 22.5 | -40lbs | 19♀ | 🍑 = m3lba]
Created: Sun Nov 12 21:41:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cksbg/hey_there/
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my name is melba. i'm 19 years old, deaf, and working with some kind of purging disorder. i wanna get better but, like, it's hard and stuff. hoping being here and feeling less of a freak will make it easier! 🍑 is m3lba, BTW.
[Discussion] Tingling/Itchiness with ECA stack?
/u/TSputnik [5'3" | CW 130 | HW 210 | UGW 100]
Created: Sun Nov 12 21:34:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ckqz0/tinglingitchiness_with_eca_stack/
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I'm not entirely sure if it's the ECA stack so I'm curious if anyone else has had this effect? Recently I started to get a sort of pinpricking feeling in random parts of my skin, not enough that I'd describe it as pins and needles or numbness, but enough that I feel the urge to scratch it.
[Discussion] Does anyone lose fat from stupid places?
/u/KissMySlitWrist [Moo]
Created: Sun Nov 12 21:25:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ckphp/does_anyone_lose_fat_from_stupid_places/
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My wrists and ankles are thinner, that's it (as of right now). Like wtf thanks now my fitbit is loose. Please lose weight from somewhere useful next time body.
[Rant/Rave] I hate myself sometimes
/u/falafelwafflerofl
Created: Sun Nov 12 20:59:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ckkla/i_hate_myself_sometimes/
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I just finished binging an extra 1800 calories that I didn't need to eat today. I panicked and grabbed a trash bag and spent the past 10 minutes purging on my bed. I'm 35, in the middle of a divorce, unemployed, living at my dad's, throwing up in a trash bag while wearing a cheetah print adult onesie. Where the fuck did I go so wrong? I feel like I'm at a new low right now and all I want to do is curl up into a ball and cry until I can't feel anything anymore. I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired. Not going to lie, but some days it's hard to see any light in my life. I just needed to get this out because no one knows this side of me or this part of my life.
[Discussion] Mono-food diet????? Thoughts/opinions?
/u/water_77 [🍀🌺🍀]
Created: Sun Nov 12 20:55:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ckjup/monofood_diet_thoughtsopinions/
---
Hey so I have no self control or moderation and I desperately need SOMETHING to help me get used to not giving in to every craving ever. I only have two modes: starving or binging. For the past year it's been mainly binging and I've gained so much weight and I hate myself even more.
Maybe a mono-food diet will help, where I only eat one food for a few weeks? Like only cabbage soup or something? Thoughts??
[Rant/Rave] My family is constantly commenting on my weight and it hurts...
/u/ghostFriend_Kasper [5'2" | 127lbs | 23.2 | GW 95-100 |-41lbs | 20F]
Created: Sun Nov 12 20:48:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ckim6/my_family_is_constantly_commenting_on_my_weight/
---
**A little background:** my highest weight was 168 lbs before I studied abroad in Japan, and during my stay, I naturally lost 30 lbs just from living the lifestyle. I ate what I wanted but I still lost weight. Prior to this, I didn't have any ed behaviors but I did want to lose weight, I just didn't want to restrict myself from all the wonderful Japanese food. My ed habits didn't start until I was hospitalized for something else and I couldn't eat for two days and after I came home I realized I lost 6 pounds. So I started restricting and b/p. I got myself down to 138 by the time I left Japan. My family noticed and said the usual "wow you lost weight" "you're so tiny". That was 2 and a half months ago. Since then I've lost 13 more pounds so I'm down to 125. For reference my height is 5'2". Which I lost that weight in September, binged all of October, and started losing again in November.
**What happened today:** This is the first time I've seen my family since arriving in America. Now I get nothing but negativity. My family is all obese, they are my height but all weight over 300 pounds and I made a comment that I have no clothes, I only have two outfits because nothing fits me but I don't want to buy more until I reach my goal weight(Idk what that is, I'll stop when I'm happy with my appearance). And they all started yelling at me saying I'm 'too skinny' which for my height, my weight is at the higher end of being a 'healthy weight', which is from about 105 to 135. And started saying "I'm anorexic" "this is how eating disorders start" which I was never diagnosed properly for anything, but my therapist knows about me restricting to around 600 cals a day or b/p-ing. But it just hurts when they are used as insults. I don't sit there and tell them that "you are obese, lose weight, it's unhealthy" even though I should. It just makes it worse because I am at a normal weight right now...
Sorry for the length, sorry for it being so confusing, I just really need to vent.
When I was my heaviest, they told me I look like I've had 3 kids(which hurt so much being only 18) but now that I've lost the weight people say I'm too small....
Why is it okay for people to ridicule and question my weight for being skinny but if I comment on them being fat, it starts world war III?
Edit: format
[Rant/Rave] I'M SO FUCKING COLD
/u/dipped_in_gold_ [5'3 | CW 117 lbs | GW 105 | 22F]
Created: Sun Nov 12 20:46:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cki8f/im_so_fucking_cold/
---
My roommate keeps turning down the heater to 66 degrees even though it's in the 30s-40s outside and thus my room is fucking FREEZING. I have on jeans and fuzzy socks and a heavy sweater AND I'm bundled up in blankets and I'm still cold. It makes me want to drink hot chocolate and eat comfort food and I CANNOT deal UGHHHHHHH
I swear I'm just going to move to the Caribbean so I never have to deal with cold weather ever again
[Tip] (Recommendation) Low calorie fruit in frozen chocolate
/u/aceshighsays [5'2" | C: 110.0 | -28 | F | G: 99]
Created: Sun Nov 12 20:42:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ckhck/recommendation_low_calorie_fruit_in_frozen/
---
I found [these] (https://dolesunshine.com/products/dippers/dark-chocolate-strawberry-dippers) at the store and they're great! The strawberries are 60 calorie per pouch, the pineapples are 80 calories per pound. Even if you eat the entire box, it's only 360 calories for the strawberry.
[Other] After a particularly awful week, I'm trying to motivate myself to be more accountable for my toxic behavior.
/u/caithaa [5'7 | 120 | 18.78 | 20F 🌼]
Created: Sun Nov 12 20:40:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ckgwa/after_a_particularly_awful_week_im_trying_to/
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I'm promising myself to cut out all of the toxic, unhealthy, junk food I've been gorging on for the past month. Starting tomorrow on Monday until Christmas day, so a little over a month, I'm going to be super strict with myself, and try to cleanse all the chemicals and disgusting packaged food ingredients from my body.
I won't be having any:
* Take-out
* Drunk food (pizza, ihop)
* Chocolate
* Cookies & brownies
* Donut holes (don't even ask, I've been really bad about this)
* Chips, salted nuts, pretzels
* Pumpkin spice lattes!!!
I also am going to begin forcing myself to eat everything in the living room instead of my bedroom/on my desk to get rid of this hiding my eating habit I got going on. I'll only allow myself to bring in a cup of tea or coffee for when I'm studying!
I can still have:
* Halo Top
* Fage with honey
* Dried cranberries and raisins
* Unsalted nuts (no pecans, peanuts, macadamia nuts, or brazil nuts)
* Juice (orange, apple)
* Zero-cal sodas
* 100-cal popcorn bags
* Starbucks (cappucinos, skinny vanilla lattes)
I also just double checked the sidebar to make sure I'm not breaking any rules–this is not a diet list!! I've just been on a really bad binge episode and I want to stop, and I think putting this out here will motivate me and give me some accountability with you guys!
Just dug powdered donuts out of the trash
/u/2fckk
Created: Sun Nov 12 20:36:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ckg8r/just_dug_powdered_donuts_out_of_the_trash/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Found out my ex has been screening my emails and found my ED stuff.
/u/the_better_cheddar [5'7" | 138 CW]
Created: Sun Nov 12 20:26:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cke9i/found_out_my_ex_has_been_screening_my_emails_and/
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So my ex and I have been broken up for two years. He never knew about my ED, as it only started getting bad during the last year or so of our relationship. We had a pretty amicable breakup, as much as they can be anyways. Prior to this week, I didn't hold any ill will towards him and still considered him to be a good person.
Anyways, I'm on MPA. I know this sub generally dislikes MPA, but I've been lurking there on and off for about 4 years and enjoy some of the content. I reactivated my account last week. My handle is completely unique and not related to my other handles in any way. No one would know it's me unless they had access to my email.
So imagine my surprise last night when I happen to check my MPA profile to see that... My ex created an account this week and viewed my profile? He used the same specific handle he uses everywhere online. Like I said, there is literally no way he could have found me or known about it... Unless he's been seeing my emails and saw the reactivation link I got.
I have seriously never been this angry in my life. I feel violated. I immediately changed my email password, all my credentials, and forced all devices to log out. Then I texted him, calling him out for being a creepy POS. He of course played dumb like I knew he would, saying he had no idea what I was talking about (meanwhile, two minutes after I texted him he logged into his MPA account, probably freaking the fuck out that he got caught).
He's still denying knowing anything about it. He's also been periodically logging in to MPA all day. I'm fucking pissed, because who knows how long he's been reading my shit? And there is literally NOTHING else in my email except subscription junk. Hope you enjoyed my CostCo sales alerts, asshole.
Has anyone else been "found"? What did you do?
[Other] Confession
/u/OccupiedMouflon
Created: Sun Nov 12 19:37:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ck4l7/confession/
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I used to post under a different username, but my ex figured it out. You perfect lovely wonderful people never judged me and offered more positive and supporting support than I've ever received when I posted before. I don't want to recover. I just want to be thinner. My boyfriend doesn't know. I don't want him to know. I just need community.
[Other] DAE feel like you look good when you're on coke, but when you sober up realize you're still fat af
/u/Glazed9000 [5'7' | 125 |]
Created: Sun Nov 12 19:24:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ck27n/dae_feel_like_you_look_good_when_youre_on_coke/
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[Discussion] DAE (who doesn’t purge) find that when they are actually sick and nauseous that ED thoughts take over?
/u/mavienoire
Created: Sun Nov 12 19:11:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cjznt/dae_who_doesnt_purge_find_that_when_they_are/
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I primarily restrict. But, I can’t help but be excited to throw up when I’m sick.
[Help] Period loss at healthy bmi
/u/Idunnoking [5’1 | CW101 | GW95 | 16F✨]
Created: Sun Nov 12 18:28:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cjqqa/period_loss_at_healthy_bmi/
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As you can see by my flair, I’m kind of young and recently I’ve noticed that my period has been absent lately.. and I’m assuming this might have to do with the calorie restriction (I’m still a healthy bmi) I was wondering if upping my limit a bit might maintain it? I’ve been averaging below 1000 for the past couple weeks (anywhere from 600-900) but I’m starting to realize this might start causing problems and I want to minimize that as much as I can. Also absolutely off topic, do you guys also suffer from really dry skin on your hands ? Not too be weird but mine have been terrible and I was wondering if it had any thing to do w/ nutrition or if it’s just the winter weather
[Help] Laxatives
/u/serenityswild
Created: Sun Nov 12 18:28:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cjqpn/laxatives/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Ate probably 2000 calories today [RAVE]
/u/uiume [5'5" | 125(?) | ? | F18]
Created: Sun Nov 12 18:11:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cjn55/ate_probably_2000_calories_today_rave/
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And I'm okay with that!!!!
I've been restricting consistently since the beginning of November and I'm tired of always craving food so today I said...one day of eating indulgently isn't going to make me gain back the weight I've lost. It's one day, and I'm fine with that. Ok, I may have tried to purge and will probably again BUT, the thing is I ate what I wanted today and it felt satisfying and like something I needed to do to get through November in an overall successful way. I feel good about this--im not binging, I'm not out of control-- I feel like this is the way to go. Tomorrow is my fast day, and the rest of the week will be <600. It's going to be okay :)
[Help] does anyone do hours of training/exercise a day for sports? I’m curious what that type of workout looks like
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 12 17:55:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cjjrw/does_anyone_do_hours_of_trainingexercise_a_day/
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[deleted]
[Help] Donating blood tomorrow
/u/mintslut
Created: Sun Nov 12 17:39:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cjghw/donating_blood_tomorrow/
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I've got some questions for anyone who's donated blood (in Canada, especially).
I've been restricting heavily the past week (highest calorie count this week was 665 calories, lowest was 55). Will that affect me at all tomorrow? I do plan on eating at maintenance tomorrow, before donating.
Do I have to disclose my restriction in the past? When I was breaching underweight, I had a blood test done and everything looked fine to my GP.
Do they weigh you? Do they tell you your blood type? (I don't know mine.)
Thank you!
[Help] Triggered and Alone
/u/lilmdjd [5'2 | CW: IDK, TOO MUCH| GW: 100| 22F]
Created: Sun Nov 12 17:24:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cjd85/triggered_and_alone/
---
Ive been trying so hard to be normal and moderate and enjoy life but also lose weight and balance all these things and then yesterday I sent a ballsy text to my ex which was ignored, prompting me to smoke a ton of weed and binge eat the most random food. I woke up and it was like something had shifted, I am so physically and totally repulsed by my body that I legitimately have no appetite or interest in eating. I'm on hour 17 of a fast and it has been largely accidental. Im gonna keep this going as long as I can and then maybe transition into PSMF. Im not even scared of where this is going because all I want is for this fat to be off of my body, I am so uncomfortable.
I am slightly worried I'm having some kind of psychotic break though. I keep rethinking and even speaking the same sentences, I keep wanting to literally scratch my skin off, and I've been bawling for 3 hours now. I know theres nothing anyone can really say or do but if anyone can recommend anything that might help, I'm desperately trying to calm myself down but nothing is distracting enough.
I just keep getting stuck on the fact that I can't believe I've gotten this big. I should have never gone to treatment. I have to do something to fix this. I absolutely can't live like this.
[Tip] Zero calorie drink
/u/anashelby
Created: Sun Nov 12 16:40:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cj3sn/zero_calorie_drink/
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Tired of coffee and green tea and diet soda. Safeway has its own brand of mio drops that have caffeine in them. I mixed that with sparkling water. Delicious
[Help] Facebook group or similar platform?
/u/wishfulthinkings [5'4" | CW:140 | GW1:125 | GW2:107 | -34 LBS]
Created: Sun Nov 12 16:11:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cixmm/facebook_group_or_similar_platform/
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Is there a private facebook group? I am wanting more interactive support and am feeling quite alone in my life. Can someone invite me if this group exists?
If there is a group, how do I keep this absolutely private from the rest of my facebook activities, friends, and other groups?
Or is there another platform?
[Help] Why does my stomach hurt so bad
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Sun Nov 12 15:40:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ciqi1/why_does_my_stomach_hurt_so_bad/
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My boyfriend and I broke up 4 days ago and before that we were having issues obviously so I haven’t eaten much at all the past week (woohoo 2 lbs down) and have been drinking a lot which obviously is terrible but it is what it is.
Anyways, since yesterday my stomach has been fucking killing me. It feels like I have to go to the bathroom but also constipation but I don’t really have to go.
What’s happening? It hurts so bad how can I make this go away
[Goal] My Christmas present to myself is a 10k calorie binge
/u/Moshi_Moshi_Teriyaki [5'9 | CW 140.5 | UGW 120 | 28F]
Created: Sun Nov 12 15:05:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cii5l/my_christmas_present_to_myself_is_a_10k_calorie/
---
DAE watch the Youtube videos for 10k Calorie Challenges? I'm so addicted to them.
I've decided that if I get to my UGW by Christmas, which both Happy Scale and Losertown are predicting as long as I don't binge, then I will allow myself 24 hours of absolute carnage.
I've started a list on my phone every time I'm craving something. I've started tallying it all up, I just can't wait. I'm so excited!
[Discussion] holy FUCK the new movie Ladybird is triggering. lots of unexpected ed stuff.
/u/seawardwaves [5'8" 🤷 cw~125 gw~108]
Created: Sun Nov 12 14:48:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cied1/holy_fuck_the_new_movie_ladybird_is_triggering/
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so last night i saw this movie called Ladybird in the theatre with my mother. i'd been looking forward to seeing it bc it looked really really good tbh and like exactly the type of movie i love. and it was, really.
but. god it basically reduced me to tears bc of how hard it pushed all my ed buttons. [Saoirse Ronan](https://imgur.com/a/nZg21) played the main character, and she was so [thin and pretty and aesthetic](https://imgur.com/a/jTRh2). but from the way they dressed her character, and from how other characters treated her, it was clear she was *supposed* to be seen as not aesthetic at all, kinda frumpy, and just 'average' in a general sense. which was so frustrating, bc like you're watching the movie and can't stop thinking how pretty and thin she is, while the movie kinda wants to tell you she's not?
ok. that was part 1. second, there were so many goddamn scenes where she was just laying around with her best friend while just mindlessly eating. they ate *a lot*. watching that just made me insecure and feel off bc yayyy ed brains are great aren't they
and her best friend, who's very much overweight, makes comments about how she 'can't lose weight.' hearing someone say that they can't lose weight is super frustrating to me, bc like, yes, they can, bc i can, and you're no different than me? but then there's a creeping voice in my head that says *mmmm well maybe they actually can't lose weight, and if they're no different than you, then you can't either mwahahaha*
and then there's a scene where the main character turns down lunch bc she's 'trying to lose weight.' which is triggering bc it's relatable? and bc i was watching it with my mother, who i'm paranoid is gonna find out about my ed stuff. and the act of having her watch that scene right next to me felt like a removal of control, somehow. i dunno.
and then finally there's this scene where the main character is trying to find a prom dress, and she tries a dress and it's way too tight and she goes 'ugh, why do i never look like the girls in the magazines.' which like HOLY Fuck, you [LITERALLY are the 'GIRLSINTHE MAGAZINE'](https://imgur.com/306U0MF)
and then her mom says 'well maybe you shouldn't have had that second serving of pasta the other night' and saoirse ronan yells 'mom you're literally giving me and eating disorder!'
to watch that exchange while sitting next to my own mother, who is literally one of the biggest sources of my control/ocd issues and in turn my ed, was really hard and made me in that moment never ever want to eat again until i die and can yell 'mom this is what you fucking *wanted*', bc dear god the mom in the movie was so reminiscent of my own.
granted, the movie was amazing, and definitely a movie i'll be watching again when it's 3am sometime and i'm feeling worthless and i've been crying all night about how fat and useless i am.
so anyways. i'm curious if other people with eds on here have seen it and had their own thoughts.
edit~ a lot of these things aren't actually critiques of the film. i very much don't think that there's anything *wrong* with having a character say that they can't lose weight. or with featuring a mother be judgy of her daughter's eating habits, or with whatever else. i just mean to write out how the movie was ed-brain triggering, not to imply that that's inherently *bad*
[Rant/Rave] Mad at therapist
/u/randomsombanana
Created: Sun Nov 12 14:28:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ci9fw/mad_at_therapist/
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I'm in therapy for about 1 1/2 years again, but nothing gets better. All my therapist does is talking to me about stuff that bothers me less rather than listen to what really buggs me. He also doesn't gives a shit about me wanting to actually talk about my ED and rather attempts to analyse my dreams. It makes me so mad, since I want to get better and I want to get help, but the "help" I receive is a complete waste of time. And finding a new therapist is crazily hard due to lack of therapist where I live.
[Rant/Rave] My sister in law walked in on me purging.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 12 14:03:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ci3om/my_sister_in_law_walked_in_on_me_purging/
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[deleted]
[Other] Anybody want to match up on myfitnesspal?
/u/Irisofeden [5'4| CW 118lbs| BMI 20.3. | Weight Lost 10lbs| Gender 14F]
Created: Sun Nov 12 13:50:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ci0n4/anybody_want_to_match_up_on_myfitnesspal/
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[removed]
[Discussion] ????
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Sun Nov 12 13:00:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7chosw/_/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Chewing and spitting seems too good to be true.
/u/lavenderbruises [5'9"|CW 109| GW 100| BMI 15.87| 19F]
Created: Sun Nov 12 12:51:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7chmnf/chewing_and_spitting_seems_too_good_to_be_true/
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I just chewed and spit for the first time. A pack of dry ramen noodles (weird choice, I know). I was super careful not to let anything go down my throat and periodically rinsed out my mouth with water. I know digestion starts in the mouth but you don't absorb nutrients and calories unless the food reaches your small intestine.
Meaning I could enjoy stuff like chips and beef jerky and bread and pizza without the calories? Wtf? Thats literally too good to be true.
I know about the stomach acid part so I ate something beforehand, but still, are there ANY side effects of chewing and spitting?
[Help] should I tell my boyfriend about my problem with eating?
/u/booger-burger69 [5'3 | CW:122 | UGW: 100 | -13 | 21F]
Created: Sun Nov 12 12:22:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7chfxg/should_i_tell_my_boyfriend_about_my_problem_with/
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EDIT: update, I told him and at first he was like “idk what to say, I think you should see a professional” and I told him I just needed to tell someone that I trusted so they could support me and he was like “I’m always here for you, don’t ever be sorry for sharing a part of yourself with me, blah blah blah” so I already feel so much better and feel like at least SOMEONE knows what I’m dealing with so maybe this is the first step to recovery? idk but I’m so glad I told him he’s the sweetest.
first off, I don't think I have an eating disorder. I just have weird habits when it comes to food. I've never been diagnosed with an eating disorder but I've had the same weird habits since I was 14/15: chewing and spitting, restricting, bingeing, etc.
a couple nights ago me and my boyfriend were up pretty late smoking h. we haven't done it in a couple weeks so our tolerance was low, so the next morning we both woke up super sick. since I was restricting, I didn't have anything in my stomach to throw up so I was just dry heaving every ten minutes or so. I got to work and could barely stand up and couldn't do anything without having to run to the bathroom to dry heave, so they let me go home for the day. my boyfriend kept texting me telling me to eat, but I kept saying "nah I'll eat later it's okay" and he was basically like "?? wtf you'll feel so much better if you eat so just eat!" I finally ate two extra small slices of pizza for dinner just to shut him up lmao. but it pissed me off because it broke my fast.
this morning when we both woke up I started crying out of nowhere because my anxiety kept telling me he was going to leave me because he didn't like me anymore, one of the reasons that I thought he didn't like me anymore being that I'm too fat. but I couldn't explain that to him because he doesn't know anything about my weird eating habits. once I calmed down and he reassured me that he loves me, we cuddled but I kept pulling at the fat on my body.
I want to tell him so bad. I know he'll be supportive of me and possibly help me not do my weird eating habits as much, but I don't wanna burden him with my problems. I just want him to know so he won't be confused when I do/say weird things. idk. I haven't told anyone else about this stuff, only my bff knows that I sometimes chew and spit.
[Rant/Rave] Laxatives are so fickle
/u/sea_castle [5'3" | CW 97.8 | 17.8 | -14.6 | GW 88 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 12 12:20:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7chfj9/laxatives_are_so_fickle/
---
Last Friday I took 15mg of Dulcolax at 7am, expecting it to hit around 7pm when I'm safely home from work, but no. It kicks in at fucking 1pm and I have deal with crippling cramps and the whole rushing-to-the-bathroom thing right in the middle of the work day. Not an experience I'd want to repeat but it really wasn't that bad, all things considered.
Then last night I took 15mg around 9pm, thinking I'd get it over with first thing in the morning, but no such luck! I had a normal poop and some cramping, but nothing like what I was going for lol. 9am came and went so I was ready to give up on it working at all. Then 1pm rolls around and the whole cramping thing FINALLY starts. Better late than never, but what the fuck? Dulcolax, why you gotta exacerbate my trust issues like that?
Or idk, maybe I should just accept that I'm apparently destined to be a 1pm pooper 😂
[Rant/Rave] You guys, I wanna binge so bad today.
/u/placentagumbo [5'8" | CW 135 | GW 115 | UGW ?? | 26F]
Created: Sun Nov 12 12:11:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7chdgj/you_guys_i_wanna_binge_so_bad_today/
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Sundays are always the worst. I think I conceptualize it as "well, tomorrow's Monday so you can just start over then so what's one day of binging????"
It's 1:11pm. I haven't eaten anything yet. Just sitting on the couch doing homework, wrapped in a blanket. BUT Aldi is just a few miles away and you can get a BOMB ASS pizza for like 5 bucks. oh what do what do
[Rant/Rave] I don't want to be me anymore
/u/unaht
Created: Sun Nov 12 12:10:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7chd80/i_dont_want_to_be_me_anymore/
---
I'm having a breakdown, for a lot of reasons. I'm moving continents in two weeks and am going to no longer have a psychiatrist or money for one (fat load of good its done me anyway), wellbutrin hasnt worked and its the 6th medication Ive tried in the past three years to treat my depression and I no longer have the time to experiment with new ones before I leave, I'm pushing away my boyfriend (who is living in said new continent currently) with my constant mood swings and because I both feel like Im going to destroy him and hate him for not being able to help me. And to top it all off I'm fatter than I've ever been and I don't know how to handle it.
I've been exercising a shit load to try to compensate for it, and I havent even binged much in the past months, barring this past week, but every time I try to diet the insidious binge voice comes back and I just eat and eat and eat.
I'm really scared for the future, and scared nothing is going to change, and scared at how much of this is actually in my control because half the time I just feel like some lazy apathetic observer until I have another mood shift where I'm DEFINITELY not in control.
I'm sick of the cycle of trying and failing and trying and failing and hating myself and feeling hopeless, but it really feels like its never going to get better. But fuck it thats probably the meds talking, I don't even know who I am anymore. I just want a hug. And to be 130 pounds, yeah actually mostly that.
[Rant/Rave] Why am I not losing weight
/u/McCutiee
Created: Sun Nov 12 12:01:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7chatb/why_am_i_not_losing_weight/
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[removed]
[Help] is it possible to own a scale in my circumstances?
/u/wxnter- [5'4 | CW: 120 | 21 | UGW: 93]
Created: Sun Nov 12 11:48:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ch7rz/is_it_possible_to_own_a_scale_in_my_circumstances/
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I really really need a scale. the only way i’m able to weigh myself is when i go over to my friends house who has a scale, but that’s probably like once a month and i’m never able to go there in the morning to get my true weight. i live with my boyfriend and i’m supposed to be in recovery. my boyfriend is EXTREMELY observant and terrified of letting me relapse. hiding a scale from him would be reallly hard in our small >400sqft apartment, and if he found out i had one he would probably cry a lot and it would break his heart. he would become extremely watchful and probably not trust me anymore.
but fuck, i really really need a scale and now i’m starting to consider the impossible: im wondering if anyone has advice for ways i could have a scale without him finding out?
UPDATE: so i just impulse-bought a scale and now I’m stuck with this decision i guess. i have to figure out a way to a) pick it up tomorrow and discretely bring it home and b) keep it hidden - thinking about putting inside my desk where he’d never look. excited to finally have some way of knowing my weight yet i’m worried ill regret this
[Discussion] November 12th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 12 11:38:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ch5bd/november_12th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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Is there anything missing in your life?
Winter makes me binge more
/u/de1etemyse1f
Created: Sun Nov 12 11:23:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ch1y1/winter_makes_me_binge_more/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Trying to change my perspective
/u/CaptainBundiePants
Created: Sun Nov 12 11:21:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ch1fj/trying_to_change_my_perspective/
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I’ve decided maybe I can “fake it till I make it” and pretend like fasting is more of a positive. Right now I view food as a treat and therefore lately have been binging frequently.
I’m going to say “I’m going to Treat Myself to a fast. I’ll feel so much better! And the real reward comes when I lose weight instead of temporary endorphins from food!”
I hope I can reverse psychology myself 😂
[Rant/Rave] Visible progress!
/u/skinthin [4'11 | 105 | 21.2 | 30 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Nov 12 11:01:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cgwup/visible_progress/
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I'm 100 lbs!!! Once I drop to the 90's I'm going to lose my mind. I keep getting called tiny and skinny by the other patients and my family and boyfriends family, when 2 months ago I was called "short and fat" and "fatass" and "thick" and now people are actually commenting on my weight loss and I have been fasting for 84 hours and I am EUPHORIC!
[Rant/Rave] 3 days in CSU, lost 5 pounds.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 12 10:55:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cgvfv/3_days_in_csu_lost_5_pounds/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] So upset over a dumb mistake
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 12 10:26:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cgome/so_upset_over_a_dumb_mistake/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] First place. 🏆 idk I’m proud.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Sun Nov 12 10:23:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cgnys/first_place_idk_im_proud/
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https://i.redd.it/l65tnw6jwkxz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I miss the community of treatment
/u/proudnalgeneowner [5'5 | CW95.4 | UGW88 | 16.1 | 17F]
Created: Sun Nov 12 10:03:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cgjdg/i_miss_the_community_of_treatment/
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Last winter I was in a treatment center that didn't feel like a hospital, it felt like a weird house where you live with a ton of strangers and you're all forced to gorge yourselves together. I don't miss gaining weight, but I miss the people there and being united in our issues. I miss being around people who get it, I miss the trivial drama, I miss the routine and security.
If I was having an issue, there were other patients, CRCs, or clinicians to talk to anytime. At home I wait for my weekly therapy session, and even then can't talk about ED stuff because my therapist knows next to nothing about EDs *and* has an irritating habit of telling my dad things she hears in sessions, so there's a whole list of topics I can't mention.
Does anyone else feel this way? Where have you found a sense of community outside of treatment?
[Discussion] Is anyone else's parent supportive of ED behaviors?
/u/whatsupbuttercup5 [5'3" | CW 100.4 | GW 92 | HW 124 | LW 98 | 25F]
Created: Sun Nov 12 09:17:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cg98b/is_anyone_elses_parent_supportive_of_ed_behaviors/
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I don't know what to make of my mother. In a weak moment I told her a lot about my GW (I told her 95 lbs but she knows that's underweight) and how I'm eating like <600 cals and feel guilty if I eat anything. And she expressed concern and was worried. But then I was talking to her last night about what will happen when I get to goal and how it's going to be hard to transition to maintenance calories because I will be afraid to gain any back and she's like "well just go slow so you don't gain any, I'm going to have to do the same thing." (She's trying to lose weight too, but she's obese.) She also said I'm too old to have an ED at this point. It's like she just refuses to believe I have a problem? This is also the same woman who I told a teacher I was close to in HS that I was cutting myself and my mom didn't do anything about it. Years later when I brought it up she was like "oh, well it wasn't a problem" and I was like "well of course I said it wasn't, I was trying to back track and you believed it."
[Other] Anyone want to join in on this?
/u/digital2939
Created: Sun Nov 12 08:32:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cfzrr/anyone_want_to_join_in_on_this/
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I'm pledging to not binge for the rest of November no matter what. It's only 18 days who's with me?
[Rant/Rave] I binge because I think I won't be able to have food later...WTF
/u/zweBowie
Created: Sun Nov 12 08:20:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cfxeq/i_binge_because_i_think_i_wont_be_able_to_have/
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Had a small revelation this week about my binge cycling...I'm for some reason triggered to binge by this thought that if there's a food in front of me that I may not be able to get it in the future. I'll scarf it down and then fall into the trap of "you already ate 3 slices of pizza, might as well eat everything else in the house too 🙄"
Cookie butter Oreos sent me into a 6 week long binge phase. Because OMG I love cookie butter and they're limited edition and I only have one chance to try them! Last week was a great week staying under my calorie limit and getting to the gym until my boyfriend bought a monstrosity called a pizzadilla...and all I could think was "what if we never get this again...I should just try a slice..." which turned into 4 slices. Which turned into 3 more nights of binging on pizza and chips and fast food.
I don't know why I'm this way. I lost about 70lb last year (pre-disordered eating) on a strict keto diet and not being able to have carbs/sugar never bothered me...something in my brain flipped and now it's the total opposite. I don't know what tf to do about this. I've been gaining/losing the same 10lb for 4 months now and I just want so badly to make some solid progress.
[Tip] Seeking thoughts or advice to my struggle
/u/hollywould83 [5ft 2in |102 | Not sure | 24-26| pds Female]
Created: Sun Nov 12 07:36:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cfp0f/seeking_thoughts_or_advice_to_my_struggle/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] YEAH! I didn't ruin my progress!
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 61.5 kg | BMI: 22.9 | -22 kg | 21F]
Created: Sun Nov 12 06:47:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cfgl6/yeah_i_didnt_ruin_my_progress/
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[Rave]
Yesterday I finally got my weight loss rolling again and you guessed it, I binged. Seems like I was still beneath my TDEE because my scale today said I lost another 100g over night! Today only liquid! I should have known yesterday that solid food of any kind makes me binge. Have a great day everyone!
[Discussion] Anybody else have a weight loss/proED diary
/u/scoutthlostgil
Created: Sun Nov 12 06:37:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cff1l/anybody_else_have_a_weight_lossproed_diary/
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I have three diaries
1. My personal one I write about my thoughts and feelings in
2. One I use to plan my life
3. Weight loss/proED
In my weight loss diary I write meal plans, safe foods, workouts and my weight/measurements. Does anyone els have one of these and what do you write in it.
I just really like writing everything down in books, makes me feel organised.
Drink water & stay safe loves 💦💕
[Other] Found my new favourite sweet treat. 40 calories!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 12 06:23:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cfcwp/found_my_new_favourite_sweet_treat_40_calories/
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https://i.redd.it/i2fbqmxmpjxz.jpg
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 12, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Nov 12 05:11:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cf2ye/daily_food_diary_november_12_2017/
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This is a daily food diary thread for November 12, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your favorite recipes!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Nov 12 05:10:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cf2wq/sunday_share_your_favorite_recipes/
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Looking for memes? [Right this way~](/r/ProEDmemes)!
[Other] So I told
/u/janesavage [167 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 50 kg | 18F]
Created: Sun Nov 12 04:25:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cex2d/so_i_told/
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It was a late night and we were talking about pretty personal issues on both sides and I was in the low of a binge cycle, and even though I told myself it was something to say in person, I told. I couldn't keep dancing around the subject.
And it was such a relief.
He really cares, and that's kind of...strange. I get that people do care about me, but no-one really shows it. Most of my relationships are based on humour, when I think about it. I enjoy spending time with certain people because they're entertaining. In general, I'm not very good at bonding with others on any kind of deeper level. I don't get any kind of separation anxiety from people I consider friends. I'm solitary by nature.
Which I guess is why this feels so strange, the whole idea that someone is so clearly emotionally invested in me and wants me to succeed.
He says he doesn't think about it, that he forgets about it until it gets brought up again. I have no problem with this; in fact, I'm glad. This is just such a toxic thing, such a toxic mindset, that I don't want him to think about it. It's easier for both of us this way.
We met up recently in person and stayed together for a few days, and now that's thrown us into this sort of half-platonic/half-not relationship, where we sleep against each other in the same bed but shake hands in greeting. There's a mutual attraction for sure, and any hesitance is totally on my part by nature. He doesn't pressure me in the least bit. He's genuinely funny and we share very similar tastes in music and he listens and he *cares*.
We're meeting up again this coming weekend. His birthday is on Saturday. I think I'm going to kiss him, which I've never done before. This, all of it, is just so, so new.
And it's...nice.
[Help] hair is thin on my scalp, how many calories do i need per day to prevent/reverse this?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18| f | 22]
Created: Sun Nov 12 03:37:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cer9k/hair_is_thin_on_my_scalp_how_many_calories_do_i/
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i noticed tonight that my hair on the very top of my head is kind of thin. you can see my scalp because i haven't washed it in a few days and it's greasy/dirty. i am so disgusted and feel even more ugly now. please, can someone tell me how many calories per day i'd need to prevent more hair thinning or to get my hair to grow more back?
i'm 5'3" and about 105/106. i know i'm still fat. i've been restricting to 700-800 calories per day. i take biotin supplements. do i need to maintain? i still want to lose weight. i feel so ugly and gross.
[Help] Any good aerobics or other exercises routines you guys could share?
/u/desaparecida [5'0" | CW:109lb | BMI: 20.0 | 25F]
Created: Sun Nov 12 03:35:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cer27/any_good_aerobics_or_other_exercises_routines_you/
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I would like to burn extra calories doing some moves but the closest gym is one hour away and it's not easily accesible ror me :(
Does any of you guys follow a routine or have something to recommend?
Thank you ♥♥
[Rant/Rave] Can do it
/u/UnforgivingLoaf
Created: Sun Nov 12 02:30:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cejm5/can_do_it/
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Four days now Ive binged. Im trying to maintain for when I visit with family but the problem is if I eat I can’t stop eating. Its driving me crazy. I feel like Ive gained 30 lbs these past few days. I love my family and I don’t want them to worry but I can’t do it. I’m fasting until I either pass out or Im with my family. Because I can’t get away with fasting around them. Salt water and Powerade only for me for the next 15 days.
I can’t do it
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 12 02:28:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cejfu/i_cant_do_it/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Feeling guilty about some terrible motivation I have
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 12 02:19:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ceiil/feeling_guilty_about_some_terrible_motivation_i/
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[deleted]
I️ can’t stop binging
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 12 02:03:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cegn8/i_cant_stop_binging/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] AFAB people produce oestrogen from their fat cells. The more fat they have, the more oestrogen is produced.
/u/95CHOI [M20 / -230lbs / RNY Gone Haywire]
Created: Sun Nov 12 01:47:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ceet6/afab_people_produce_oestrogen_from_their_fat/
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[removed]
[Intro] Hi
/u/strangegurl44
Created: Sun Nov 12 01:25:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cec2y/hi/
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Hi. My name is Tiffany, I'm new, and I weigh 246 lbs at the age of 15. I don't know what else to add so I'm leaving it at that.
[Rant/Rave] Pissed away this week's work in 2hrs
/u/Throwaway17898753 [5'11" | CW 189 | GW 175 | 90 Lost | 34M]
Created: Sat Nov 11 23:34:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cdxiz/pissed_away_this_weeks_work_in_2hrs/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Millie Bobby Brown is my biggest thinspiration.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 11 23:23:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cdw0e/millie_bobby_brown_is_my_biggest_thinspiration/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cdw0e/millie_bobby_brown_is_my_biggest_thinspiration/
[Other] Snapchat
/u/impeccableflaws [5' | CW: 114 | HW: 122 | GW: 98 | LW: 88 | 21F]
Created: Sat Nov 11 22:16:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cdllf/snapchat/
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Is there a Snapchat group? (There isnt one that I've found, so I'm assuming it). I think we should have one. If you think so, too, then add your snaps and I'll add you, because why not?
If this against any rules, please let me know and I'll delete the post.
Mine is @ellanawho
EDIT: I apparently can't add users to the snap group unless we mutually follow each other, so just letting you guys know once you're followed, follow back and I'll add you to the group.
[Help] Help. Friend with ed probs
/u/papira_ul [5'2"| CW 102 lbs| GW 80 | BMI 19| M]
Created: Sat Nov 11 22:01:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cdj56/help_friend_with_ed_probs/
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Hello, this will be my first post on the subreddit, I'm sorry there wasn't a more charming introduction.
For backstory this summer I was pretty affected by my Ed and lost about 20lbs and got myself into a underweight BMI(yay?) Regardless I'm a bit more stable of the mind now and gained back 8 lbs(nay?).
Anyways, a month ago, I found out that a close friend had been suffering of body dysmorphia and anorexia and frankly did not know how to respond. Now it has become evident that she has really taken ill since she makes it clear that she's weak and routinely talks about her body image and such. I don't really know how to help her. She's not fat, but I wouldn't one someone keeping me from my goals if I was working so flipping hard to achieve them. Yet I don't want to enable my friend to hurt herself.
[Other] 72 hour fast, wish me luck <3
/u/DayddyLonglegs
Created: Sat Nov 11 21:15:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cdbjo/72_hour_fast_wish_me_luck_3/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] "you're lighter than I thought"
/u/rebootfalcon [5'9" | CW: 149 lb | GW: 141 | UGW: 127 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 11 20:58:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cd8jb/youre_lighter_than_i_thought/
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I was talking with my dad and my little sister about how big my sister, now 10 years old and tall for her age, is getting and how hard it now is for my dad to pick her up, since my sister has always loved being carried and swung around and stuff like that. We talked about how my dad used to carry both me and my other sister (we're now 23 and 19, respectively) home from our friend's house when we were very young and tired after a day of playing, and we talked about how I was so sad when I was too big to be carried home. So my dad decided to pick me up like a baby just to prove that he still could, and he says "Oh, you're lighter than I thought you'd be"
And even if he thought I'd be heavier than I am, I'm still happy about it. I'm 25 lbs lighter and someone acknowledged that, and it feels good.
(on mobile, not sure if selecting the flair actually went through)
[Help] Is anyone more prone to binging when tired?
/u/skeletalstarlet [🌙 5'6f | cw: 129 | 20.8 | gw: 112 | gbmi: 18 🌙]
Created: Sat Nov 11 20:57:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cd8ce/is_anyone_more_prone_to_binging_when_tired/
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My self control is always super low when it comes to not binging after work. I️ work retail and had an intense 8 hour night last night (too tired to binge) but got off at 3 today so I️ had time to binge. Ugh! I️ feel like I️ get so exhausted I️ can’t do anything but eat or sleep. I️ can’t even function. Does anyone else have this issue? Or any suggestions on how to function while working retail? I️ feel like such a failure!
[Discussion] Does anyone take carb blockers?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: who knows? | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 11 20:43:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cd5rw/does_anyone_take_carb_blockers/
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And if you do, what's your experience with them? Do they help? I know there are some fat blocking medications that do work but the jury seems to be more out on the carb front.
[Rant/Rave] i was having a good day
/u/bombay- [5'9 | CW 160 | GW1 130 | 23.6 | 16F]
Created: Sat Nov 11 20:28:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cd39q/i_was_having_a_good_day/
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and then i looked in the mirror and started having a panic attack. i actually attempted recovery today, i ate two meals and i felt proud of myself. and then i came home and saw my body in the mirror and i look so fat and i feel so full and disgusting and i don't know what to do and i'm shaking haha why am i like this
[Other] Fun list of weight loss put in perspective.
/u/IttyBittyBatty [5'5"| -16.6lb | F]
Created: Sat Nov 11 19:22:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ccrhw/fun_list_of_weight_loss_put_in_perspective/
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https://i.redd.it/xoqi67hofgxz.png
[Rant/Rave] Gaining and losing the same few pounds over and over and over...
/u/sadbucket [5'5" | CW: 121 | GW: 110 | 22F]
Created: Sat Nov 11 18:37:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ccj6e/gaining_and_losing_the_same_few_pounds_over_and/
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I keep getting down to 115lbs, binging, and then gaining up to 121lbs. I've done it for about six months now. I can't seem to break the cycle. My lowest weight was 97lbs and I'm itching to get back there.
Does anyone have similar experiences?
[Other] What even is my life anymore
/u/cinnamonbicycle [5'2 | "recovering" | 🍑: cinnamonbicycle]
Created: Sat Nov 11 18:37:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ccj29/what_even_is_my_life_anymore/
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This isn’t totally ED-related, but I feel more comfortable sharing it with you guys than to a different community. I just really need to get this out.
I’m not a person anymore. I feel like all the best parts of myself have been rotted away by hate. I used to be a girl with hopes and dreams but now the only thing I dream about is suicide.
I hate my mom. I only hate her because she loves me so much and I can’t stand it. I hate my dad, but that’s a little more complicated and even valid. I hate them for saying they love me but still heartlessly forcing me to keep on doing something more painful than death itself; living.
I fantasize about how they’ll feel when I commit suicide. I hope they’re crushed. I hope they’re broken. Because that’s how I’ve been living, every single fucking day. That’s what they’re putting me through. So now it’s their turn.
But then there are the things that keep me tethered here. My little sister, my piano teacher, my viola. I’m terrified, because I might grow to hate these things solely for that reason. But a part of me hopes I’ll start hating them. Because if I don’t have anything at all to love- and that list is dwindling every day- then there’s nothing tethering me to this life. I’ll be free.
I wonder what the final tether will be? I wonder when I’ll finally let it go? How long will it be before the pain of living drowns out the last of I’ve got left to live for?
[Discussion] Saturday night boredom
/u/gayishfish [5'7" | CW: embarrassing | BMI: high | -9 lbs | 23F]
Created: Sat Nov 11 18:30:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cchsw/saturday_night_boredom/
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What do you do on a Saturday night when you don't want to spend much money or eat or go drinking??
I'm bored af but if I ask anyone to hang out, they will only want to drink or go out to eat or something.
I've had a headache all day so I'm considering taking a bath...I seriously feel at a loss though ugh. I've been watching tv and playing video games. What are my options? Sleep I guess, right?
Even if you don't have a suggestion for me, how do YOU normally spend a Saturday night?
[Help] How do I maintain control while still living with my parents?
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Sat Nov 11 18:16:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ccf89/how_do_i_maintain_control_while_still_living_with/
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I'm working on moving out, but it's a slow process because I'm disabled and unemployed. I *have* to be in the restrict/binge cycle just to not gain, and it's so draining. I either want to recover or restrict or just lose 10 lbs so I can fit into my clothes better (because I cannot afford new ones). But I can't maintain control over enough of the food environment here, so I basically always have to be in the cycle. It's so draining.
Do you all have any suggestions or advice on anything I could possibly do to make this easier and/or fix this issue? I've been at this for so long. I don't know what to do.
[Rant/Rave] Silver Lining
/u/kvikerdragen [5'6.5" | 21F | CW 117.0 | GW 111 | HW 182]
Created: Sat Nov 11 17:46:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cc9cq/silver_lining/
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I've been kinda doing badly since last weekend I fell into a binge, and since then have been binging every day and purging anything I eat at all...
But the good news is that I'm definitely not gaining, my mom commented that I've lost weight since the last time I saw her (when actually my weight from the scale hasn't changed at all), and this morning I walked into the bathroom, looked into the mirror, and saw my upper ribs (like around my sternum, I think those are ribs at least) for the first time ever.
So I guess something is going right, despite possibly transitioning into bulimic behavior.
*shrug*
[Help] Somebody please tell me it's going to be okay
/u/greatideaxoxo [5'2" | 116.6lbs | BMI:21.2 | GW:100lbs]
Created: Sat Nov 11 17:31:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cc6kj/somebody_please_tell_me_its_going_to_be_okay/
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I'm seeing my closest friend from high school tonight. I only get to see her maybe 2-3 times a year. Everybody wants to drink and have pizza for dinner and I so badly want to just let loose and enjoy time with my friend but I'm honestly fucking terrified. Is one night going to ruin everything I've worked so hard for?? I've been fasting for 5 days now and I still am having an extremely hard time with this. I already feel like such a fatass, but I just want to have fun for one night :( someone please tell me I'm not going to lose everything from this. I need to know it will be okay
[Help] I'm scared to restrict anymore cause my body is seriously kicking my ass for it
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 11 17:21:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cc4em/im_scared_to_restrict_anymore_cause_my_body_is/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Doing really well the last few days.
/u/IttyBittyBatty [5'5"| -16.6lb | F]
Created: Sat Nov 11 17:13:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cc2r5/doing_really_well_the_last_few_days/
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[removed]
[Intro] I just wanted to say hi and introduce myself.
/u/PenMorrisek
Created: Sat Nov 11 17:06:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cc10d/i_just_wanted_to_say_hi_and_introduce_myself/
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So hi :)
I only found this sub recently and I'm so happy this community exists.
I've fallen out of recovery after a few years of doing well. I never quite kicked the overeating /comfort binge habits so I gained a lot of weight, but I was happy.
Something changed and I can't stand how big I let myself get. So ED has been resurfacing. And I can't tell anyone, I know they want me to be happy but I can't go through recovery right now. I'm not strong enough.
[Rant/Rave] Fat friend has encouraged my eating (not deliberately)
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 145 GW 119 | 22.63 | -0lbs | F]
Created: Sat Nov 11 16:56:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cbz7n/fat_friend_has_encouraged_my_eating_not/
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So I’ve recently become friends with a morbidly obese woman, she’s SO pretty, can do amazing make up and has brilliant hair, not to mention an Stella personality. But I’ve been telling myself that I can eat what I want because I’m not as big as she is and even if I was she’s amazing so it doesn’t matter. It’s been months and I’ve finally realised that while she is able to cope with life at that size, I am still ~40lb smaller, but the biggest I’ve EVER been and it makes me want to cut.
I don’t know what to do. I wanted to be over this whole thing, I wanted to not post here. I wanted to not be like this again. But I obviously can’t cope on my own. So hi again!
[Rant/Rave] The Cheesecake Factory
/u/impeccableflaws [5' | CW: 114 | HW: 122 | GW: 98 | LW: 88 | 21F]
Created: Sat Nov 11 16:41:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cbw7l/the_cheesecake_factory/
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So, I'm visiting my friend at her university, and we decide to go for lunch at a Cheesecake Factory by it, which is known to have an extensive menu. I decide to order a bowl strawberry, and a plate of edmamime that I could've sworn said 150 calories on the menu. Fast forward to the last five minutes, and MFP tells me a plate is ~300 calories. Why? Why did this happen? I walked a lot today, so that should counter the extra calories, but what the hell. I'm so upset now. I know this is ED speaking, but I wasn't prepared for those extra calories, and I felt comfortable with 150, not twice as much.
[Rant/Rave] Was doing so good.
/u/bannaberry
Created: Sat Nov 11 16:34:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cbuti/was_doing_so_good/
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Took an important test this morning that'll determine whether I continue to have a career next year or not and I have a feeling of dread so I've been trying to restricting and keep under my intake.
But now I've been binging on all the available sweets....... whyyyy
Update: boyfriend made a cake.......... hate him.
[Rant/Rave] kinda just ranting, God I got fat
/u/gl1tt3rv01d [5'8 | 153 | 23.2 | -68 | fta]
Created: Sat Nov 11 16:30:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cbu6e/kinda_just_ranting_god_i_got_fat/
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binge eating got the better of me. gained a ton of weight
ideas... just venting
-salsa based soups and chilis
-miracle noodles stir fried
-start making chicken soups with spiralized noodles
-boiled eggs, I only ever eat one at a shot
-maybe? fiber+pre workout+green powder+maybe protein.
[Help] I dont have the willpower to restrict anymore
/u/lavenderbruises [5'9"|CW 109| GW 100| BMI 15.87| 19F]
Created: Sat Nov 11 16:22:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cbslk/i_dont_have_the_willpower_to_restrict_anymore/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I Guess I'm Destined to be Mad at Him Today
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 11 15:46:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cbl87/i_guess_im_destined_to_be_mad_at_him_today/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Stressed out
/u/serenityswild
Created: Sat Nov 11 15:33:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cbiio/stressed_out/
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I was planning on just going out for dinner with my boyfriend tonight but his mom is coming as well now. I love her to death, she is a very sweet woman. But this situation is now going to be extremely uncomfortable for me. Any time we've gone out for dinner ( pre ED ) she would comment on how I shouldn't get a salad and I'm not allowed to order a salad, get something else. ( I think this derives from her own body issues, definitely had ED tendencies) now I'm worried I'll end up eating way over my restriction for today and I'm panicking. I know I'll be forced to drink wine and eat a million calories.
[Rant/Rave] Friend just freaked out on me saying I felt fat
/u/chocolatecoveredpugs [5'4| 118| 20.6 | -22lbs | F]
Created: Sat Nov 11 15:03:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cbcp1/friend_just_freaked_out_on_me_saying_i_felt_fat/
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I am at a completely normal bmi, and my friends have no idea how disordered my eating habits are. Yesterday we were at a bar and taking pictures and I was wearing a flowy dress. All the pictures of me turned out awful because I looked fat and I was complaining about this to my friends. One of my friends (who had a couple drinks) started yelling at me that I was skinnier than her so I couldn't say that. I told her that everybody feels insecure about themselves at any weight and my insecurities were my own and not based on anyone else's weight and weren't going to go away based on what she said. She was still mad and kept saying I was being offensive to her. Was I justified?
[Rant/Rave] Stupid ED rages
/u/toadally-grody [174.5cm / 47.3 / 15.2 / maintaining / F]
Created: Sat Nov 11 14:35:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cb6i2/stupid_ed_rages/
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I only see my dad every couple of months but I decided to waste 45 minutes of our holiday giving him furious silent treatment for asking if any bread was coming with my soup because he was "MAKING ME LOOK SO GREEDY OH MY GOD I AM SO EMBARRASSED"
What an idiot. I hate myself so much.
[Discussion] Full cream vs Skim Milk. Which do you prefer?
/u/vuuv95 [5'4 | CW: 108 | GW: 95 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 11 14:23:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cb44e/full_cream_vs_skim_milk_which_do_you_prefer/
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I recently befriended a bunch of baristas who bombarded me with the 'SKIM MILK IS SOOOO BAD FOR YOU' and I used my well-versed excuse of 'it's for my stomach, can't handle full cream milk.'
But I wanted your opinions. Do you care more about the high level of carbs from the sugar in skim milk or the extra calories in full cream?
[Rant/Rave] Starting recovery but insecure as fuck
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5'4" | 123 | 21.4 | GW: 115 | NB]
Created: Sat Nov 11 14:11:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cb1jz/starting_recovery_but_insecure_as_fuck/
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So I'm supposed to be in recovery guys! But here I am! Feeling so inse-fucking-cure so I figure I'll restrict some more until I get to my goal weight.
I feel like my girlfriend's gonna leave me because I'm so fucking ugly and why am I even trying when my best friend is so much prettier than me and my girlfriend laughs so much more when she's with her.
So hey might as well restrict and get thinner right? Maybe then I'll be attractive and people will love me.
I'm drinking right now in the hopes that maybe I'll feel like I'm enough but I'm going to restrict so hard tomorrow
Laxatives
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 11 14:08:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cb0zc/laxatives/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Men are fucking dumb (rant, clearly)
/u/blerg1234567
Created: Sat Nov 11 14:04:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cb03m/men_are_fucking_dumb_rant_clearly/
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I just need to say this to people who might understand a little.
Okay, I slept with a guy a couple times (he was a new coworker, but no longer works with me. It happened fast). Kinda started getting the feels for him, and texting too much (drunkorexia is the worst for this shit). Found out he had previously been ENGAGED to a girl I worked with at a previous job.
You guys. This chick is total goals. Thin, fun, outgoing, always the life of the party. But also kind of a train wreck (which I think is why I identified with her so much). ALSO a couple weeks ago (after I had slept with her ex-fiancé- whoops) I saw her at a group thing. We were all drinking and there was food and whatnot. Her new BF was pressuring her to eat because she was drunk. She made a plate, then just left it on a table and came and sat back down next to me and said “the good thing about arguing with my BF is he gets distracted so I don’t have to eat.”
OMG YOU GUYS. I almost died.
So anyway, slept with her ex a couple times, it’s been a little while though. I’ve (drunkenly) mentioned my food issues to him. Ran into him at a bar a few nights ago, ended up back at his place. He brought up my food issues (almost in like a bragging way? Like he wants to acknowledge that I’m damaged but not discourage it?), and it felt nice to just be honest for a moment. I’ve felt a little shinier the last couple days because of that honesty.
Text him last night. He remembers none of this, and claims to not know I have any ED tendencies. Wtf. Back to feeling like shit constantly. Back to being the gross fat chick who won’t stop harassing some guy. Great. Status quo. And I’m on my way to work and won’t be able to drink for like ten hours.
Thanks for being here y’all. End rant.
[Rant/Rave] I hate the way my doctor measures my weight
/u/p3rfectillusion [4'10 | 95 | 21.27 | 15 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 11 13:34:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7catng/i_hate_the_way_my_doctor_measures_my_weight/
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So, yesterday I went to the doctor's office for a routine physical. It was cold, so I was wearing multiple layers, a heavy coat, boots, and I was carrying a large purse. The woman who checked my weight didn't even tell me to put down my purse or take off my heavy winter boots! My official weight is now listed as ten pounds heavier than I actually am!! I wish I could have said something, but I'm too shy.
It sucks because I've actually been doing really good lately and made sizable progress. I was anxious to finally "formalize" my weight loss by having a doctor write it down, but I know feel as if all that progress has been erased :'(.
[Rant/Rave] company nutrition info versus mfp?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 11 13:03:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7camz8/company_nutrition_info_versus_mfp/
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[deleted]
[Help] How do you guys power through watching your friends go on a binge??
/u/nottheexpert836
Created: Sat Nov 11 12:28:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7cafgf/how_do_you_guys_power_through_watching_your/
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Second question of the day lol!
My group of friends has like once weekly binge sessions. We all drive to a grocery store, load up on chips (my crack), pizza pockets, chocolate, everything. Then we sit around and eat and talk, or watch a movie and eat, etc.
Usually everyone just eats until they’re full and stops. But I, however, obviously can’t do that. I’ll literally buy 3 bags of family size chips and finish them all. First of all it’s embarrassing (I even get aggressive when other people try to take from me, ew ew ew), and it’s killing my progress. Yesterday I went all day on under 200cal, then ruined it with like eighteen pounds of chips.
Any ideas on what to do?? So far I’ve thought of buying a bag of vegetable chips and binging on those so it doesn’t look weird...and it’ll be like 600 cal for the bag, not thousands. I’m also thinking of buying a big thing of diet coke.
Help!!
[Discussion] Target Vanity Sizing
/u/notworthausername [5'7" | 27F | 20.45 | CW: 131 // floatingspirit]
Created: Sat Nov 11 12:00:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ca8v0/target_vanity_sizing/
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I’m 5’7”, 131, and I️ fit into a SIZE ZERO today at Target... their jeans have been vanity sized like a mother fucker. Like it’s cool I️ can fit into a 0 but I️ know it’s not a real 0.
[Help] Starbucks calorie question?
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Sat Nov 11 11:57:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ca893/starbucks_calorie_question/
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Starbucks baristas/calorie wizards: I’m trying to figure out how many calories would be in a London fog latte if I replaced the vanilla syrup with SF vanilla and the milk with almond milk. I can’t find any information on any of my calorie counters about it—there’s an entry for an almond milk London fog, and a SF London fog, but not both.
Really want one for lunch but won’t feel safe until I know for sure, 100%.
[Rant/Rave] im so pissed
/u/wxnter- [5'4 | CW: 120 | 21 | UGW: 93]
Created: Sat Nov 11 11:50:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ca6sc/im_so_pissed/
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i hate how much trouble medications have caused me in the last couple months. in the beginning of the semester i was on wellbutrin and vyvanse and they KILLED my appetite and i was continuing to lose weight even after getting out of treatment without much effort, but i ran out and couldn’t find another psychiatrist for another almost two months. in that time i started birth control and started overeating and last time i weighed myself i’ve gained ~5 pounds. it might not seem like a lot but holy fuck i feel so fat. i feel like my life is ruined and i’m never going to get my body back.
so i finally saw a psychiatrist yesterday after waiting so long to get back on wellbutrin which helped so wonderfully with my depression and curbed my huge appetite so i was less obsessed with worrying about overeating. they fucking refused to put me back on wellbutrin and have almost no logical reason. after trying to convince them as much as i could i just left the clinic crying with some stupid ass prescription for a new antidepressant that i don’t want to fucking take. i was on wellbutrin for almost a year and three psychiatrists in that past have prescribed me it and it’s worked amazing, why the fuck wouldn’t they just let me back on? i don’t want to try out these meds, they have shitty side effects and i have no idea if they work on me. i also am afraid they’ll make me gain more weight.
has anyone ever been on effexor, and if so did it have effect on your weight?
[Rant/Rave] The routine
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | CW: 125 | GW: small | F]
Created: Sat Nov 11 11:50:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ca6n9/the_routine/
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Eat within your daily cal limit. Spy something at lunch you KNOW you shouldn't eat. Convince yourself that no matter what you do, you are NOT going to eat it. You're going to give it up. Pretend it doesn't matter.
Eat it.
Wonder why you're stopping there. You've been so good lately, maybe you could let it slide just this once. Eat everything else too, all the goodies you've been saving up for the weekend, and more. Oreos. Snickers. Milky Way. Candy corn (then wonder why you're wasting your calories on motherfking *candy corn*). Marshmallows (you don't even like marshmallows). Tootsie rolls.
Decide you're done. Except you'll need to eat dinner, something warm and nutritious. Get a sandwich. Buy an ice cream pint, too, for later--maybe Sunday.
Eat the sandwich. Rip open the ice cream just to "try a bite", because you're never had it before. Eat half the ice cream. Start to eat a bag of pretzels. Almost puke.
Stop.
Calculate everything you've eaten. 3500, rounding up. Run around your dorm, doing laundry and panicking and trying not to puke (not that you would mind getting rid of some of that shit, but emetophobia).
Throw out the remainders of your dinner. Chug water for the rest of the night.
Sleep in way too late. Take way too long of a shower. Avoid looking at your bloated stomach. Throw on a baggy t-shirt and leggings because you're going *nowhere* today. Then, tear through your room, grab all the binge food. Throw it in a bag. Grab empty boxes of Fiber One brownies and low-cal hot cocoa. Dump it all straight in the trash. Go back to your room. Take the laxatives. Chug more water and wait for the inevitable and *for the love of God don't you dare touch any more food, because you don't deserve to eat today, and probably not tomorrow, and probably not the day after that.*
This is the routine. The fact that I've become familiar with it should make me sad, but I don't feel much of anything right now. Numbness always follows the binge, always.
[Other] Dairy Free Peanut Butter Cup Halo Top: A Review
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 11 11:36:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ca3fe/dairy_free_peanut_butter_cup_halo_top_a_review/
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https://imgur.com/a/tBDBy
So, I’ve never tried Halo Top since I’m vegan. Until now, because they just released the dairy free variety. I wanted to see what the fuss was all about. So here goes!
First of all, this is coconut based. I didn’t even check until I was about half way through, which was stupid. It even says it on the front, but I️ was too busy chowing down. It’s pretty creamy, and I’ve found that the best (creamy) ones are cashew, soy, and coconut, but coconut and soy have a distinctive flavor. I usually really don’t like coconut based ice creams, and I actually have a minor-ish reaction to cashew based ones (sometimes I’ll just suck it up for some So Delicious Snickerdoodle though). I was suuuper surprised to see that this was actually coconut based, because it has NO coconut flavor. So that’s a huge positive for me.
Second, as I said, it’s pretty creamy, and has a pretty “normal” ice cream texture. Usually vegan ice creams are kind of icy or generally off a bit, and also re: strong soy or coconut flavors states above. So that’s also a positive.
Now, onto flavor. I wasn’t super impressed at first. However, I enjoyed it more as I went along. I really liked the “ribbons” of peanut butter throughout. However, I took a breather for a bit and it melted a tiny bit, and the melted part tasted kind of weird. Also, my mouth tastes not good (I finished it about 20 minutes ago).
Overall, this was pretty good, especially for 320 calories! I’m definitely looking forward to trying the other flavors, but I really need to pace myself.
Cough I totally did not eat it all at once cough and totally not all in my car on my way home from the store with a fork I️ happened to have cough totally not
[Rant/Rave] |Rave| I love my dad
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |104 | -116 | 20A]
Created: Sat Nov 11 11:20:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c9zxr/rave_i_love_my_dad/
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So today I woke up to my dad prepping vegetables in the kitchen. He said he felt inclined to make some Bolognese w/ fresh pasta. This is a dish that holds a lot of positive memories for me but I haven't I indulged in it since it's basically a decadent, fatty meat, milky, wine sauce heaped over pasta and oh god is that ever terrifying, lol.
I'm struggling to reach maintenance calorie goals daily but eating out is still super stressful, so I asked him if he didn't mind if I weighed out his ingredients and the finished product so that I could share the meal comfortably, and he agreed! :) he didn't even make it out to be a big deal or make me feel like an annoyance/hindrance to his cooking in any way. He actually was curious to know the nutritional information as well.
It turns out that the whole meal/serving sizes pending/ will only be 490 calories! That's still a challenge for me because my meals tend to range from 50-300 calories each but I don't have to stress about the unknown and get to enjoy a meal with my family. That feels like a win to me.
[Help] Best apps to use to help w/ fasting, and losing weight?
/u/deadlymurder
Created: Sat Nov 11 11:06:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c9wqe/best_apps_to_use_to_help_w_fasting_and_losing/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Not even 11 am and I’ve already eaten a bunch of cookie dough.
/u/NegativeOscillation
Created: Sat Nov 11 10:45:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c9s8g/not_even_11_am_and_ive_already_eaten_a_bunch_of/
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My husband bought cookie dough so we could make some quick cookies for a bake sale that we were asked to contribute to (lazy of us, I know). I went to bake them this morning and ended up eating probably 3 cookies worth of the raw dough.
Just yesterday I was feeling happy about going a day without taking laxatives but after eating the cookie dough, the urge to take them right now is strong. I need some distraction. Maybe I’ll take my dog for a walk. Idk. Feeling so upset with myself right now.
[Goal] I'm at my lowest weight I've been in a while today and I am SO excited!!!!
/u/serenityswild
Created: Sat Nov 11 10:11:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c9kwv/im_at_my_lowest_weight_ive_been_in_a_while_today/
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Sitting at 147 puts me only 12lbs away from my goal weight! ( for the end of 2017 at least )
I could not be happier!
Also realizing that my end of year goal is completely attainable and that excites me too.
Anybody broke through some barriers lately?
[Discussion] DAE: Not able to read romance novels
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 61.5 kg | BMI: 22.9 | -22 kg | 21F]
Created: Sat Nov 11 09:19:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c99ie/dae_not_able_to_read_romance_novels/
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I'd really like to know if anyone else here has encountered a similar problem:
I am not able to continue a book I started because I get so overly jealous of the main characters. I don't know if any of you here know about the book series "Black Dagger Brotherhood", for those who don't: Hot, badass vampires finding their soul mate one after the other in the middle of a war. Sounds cheesy but it's really good. Problem? The dudes are extraordinarily hot, buff, amddangerous (everything I long for) while the girls are all perfect, slim, beautiful, kind, smart, and tall. Basically everything I am not but really want to be.
So far I never had a problem with that but nowadays I just can't? Not just the BDB books but every book that contains romance? Probably because it's reminding me how I am still single with 21(never had a boyfriend), that I'm not attractive or smart or nice. It really bothers me that the cocktail consisting of depression and ED even ruined reading for me. I really loved drowning in my delusion of one day finding just what I was reading at that moment one day. Now it's just a reminder that it will never happen.
Am I the only one or are there some fellow romantics here that also go through those feels?
And sorry if I don't make too much sense, I really suck at writing.
[Discussion] November 9th - November 11th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 11 09:10:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c97ku/november_9th_november_11th_2017_question_of_the/
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Sorry guys, I’ve had a really shitty few days, so I’m a little behind.
9th: Did you leave for work on time? (Thursday) (edit, oops forgot the “for”)
10th: Where do you find pleasure?
11th: What do you always avoid?
[Rant/Rave] i broke up with my boyfriend
/u/dyingtobepretty [5ft|94lbs|GW: 85lbs|F]
Created: Sat Nov 11 09:09:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c97fo/i_broke_up_with_my_boyfriend/
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well i finally did it. i know i need to be on my own for a while for personal reasons (not ED related) but it sucks and it hurts and i feel like i've made a huge mistake even though i know i haven't. i told him he can stay with me as long as he needs for his job/to figure out what to do, but he hasn't talked to me since THE conversation so i can't imagine he plans to stay long. i'm terrified he's going to be moved out by the time i'm home from work.
ive been looking forward to being on my own for so long but now i'm so heartbroken. ugh. at least ik ill be able to get to my gw sooner now
[Thinspo] Casual
/u/squishykiss
Created: Sat Nov 11 09:09:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c97c7/casual/
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https://i.redd.it/9uudtgleedxz.jpg
[Discussion] Hi all! What's your favorite Halo Top flavor?
/u/quoth_the_phoenix
Created: Sat Nov 11 08:46:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c92bz/hi_all_whats_your_favorite_halo_top_flavor/
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I'm about to try it for the first time. I haven't had icecream in about a year (it's my worst binge food so I avoid it) and I'm ready to turn up!
First post so please let me know if this is ok. :)
[Help] Most filling drink at Starbucks?
/u/nottheexpert836
Created: Sat Nov 11 08:45:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c9255/most_filling_drink_at_starbucks/
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I’m about to go for a haircut, but on my way home I wanted to grap a drink from Starbucks. I don’t mind it being 150-200 cals, but I want it to last me until dinner. I was thinking maybe a venti coconut milk cappuccino...
Thoughts?? :)
Edit: got a venti soy latte with sugar free vanilla. 190 cal, 16g of protein. I’m saving all of your suggestions for later!! Thanks guys!
[Rant/Rave] Feeling conflicted
/u/AnonymousFugget
Created: Sat Nov 11 08:41:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c91de/feeling_conflicted/
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My diet consists of mainly sugar free Gatorade water and black tea and maybe a lemonade flavoured icypole (popsicle) if I haven't finished my bottle if Gatorade water or had more than 2 teas.
My family knows I only eat one brand no matter what. If I can't find it, I don't eat - simple.
We had a family member visit and they brought me a gift of the brand of icypoles I eat but they were ice cream 🍦 based. It was incredibly thoughtful of them. But I can't eat them. I'm lactose intolerant. Even if I wasn't I wouldn't eat them.. I feel awful about it, they did something nice, but I just want to take them and destroy them and throw them in the trash I hate them the ice cream disgusts me.
I'm an awful person.
What can I do to fix this? 😞
[Rant/Rave] My stupid nasty ass teeth
/u/MymlanOhlin [5'5" | CW: 137.7 lbs | 23 | WL: 24 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Nov 11 08:35:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c909c/my_stupid_nasty_ass_teeth/
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I've wanted to get my teeth whitened for the longest time. Turns out that drinking a liter of diet coke per day stains your teeth a lot...
The absolute last drop was me being offered chewing tobacco from a stranger the other day, and when I looked at him with a confused expression he said that he assumed I used it because of my teeth...
I want to get Crest whitening strips soooo bad and just feel good about smiling for once but yeah no fuck me over because I live in Sweden. If I lived in the US I could just waltz my ass down to the nearest Target and start an actual process of self care. I don't do skincare, I've stopped shaving my legs, I don't feel like washing my hair even when it's a literal grease ball. I've just stopped any and all beauty regimens because of this one stupid thing...
[Rant/Rave] Two showers this weekend. Wish me luck.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 11 08:19:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c8wy0/two_showers_this_weekend_wish_me_luck/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] High blood pressure
/u/aceshighsays [5'2" | C: 110.0 | -28 | F | G: 99]
Created: Sat Nov 11 08:19:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c8wx9/high_blood_pressure/
---
In the last couple of weeks I haven't been feeling well. Normally I don't go to the doctor, but my sore throat wouldn't go away so I went to an Urgent Care clinic. The nurse took my blood pressure and said that it was high. I spoke with the doctor who suggested I lose weight. I'm 5'2" and 110 pounds. I'm at a loss of words... how many more pounds should I lose?
[Help] is there any chance of me losing 60 lbs by january?
/u/throw_away_fattie
Created: Sat Nov 11 08:17:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c8wjf/is_there_any_chance_of_me_losing_60_lbs_by_january/
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[removed]
[Help] Intake this Thursday..
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 102.9 | 18.8 | -34 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 11 07:34:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c8odn/intake_this_thursday/
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Two months ago, I was at a really low point, desperate for help. I made an appointment, but the soonest they could see me was November 16th.
Well. Thats next week. And I am not ready. If it weren't for my boyfriend, I would have cancelled it. He's making me go, and he's also coming with me. Which means I can't lie to the doctors and say that I'm doing lots better and my behaviors have gone down.
I really don't know what to expect... People who have gone through intake appointments, what was it like?
[Discussion] How many cals do you burn working out?
/u/skeletonne18
Created: Sat Nov 11 06:22:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c8ctr/how_many_cals_do_you_burn_working_out/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Anyone else sick of friends copying their eating habits?
/u/whatisthisshow2002 [5'2.5" | CW: 🐳 46.4kg 🐳 | GW: 40 kg | UGW: Just wanna be loved]
Created: Sat Nov 11 06:14:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c8bm3/anyone_else_sick_of_friends_copying_their_eating/
---
It's like no, fuck off, this is MY thing and only I am allowed to self-destruct like this and you're 15 years old (so am i but i don't count) jesus christ you should be eating lunch like a normal person stahhhhpppp.
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! November 11, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Nov 11 05:11:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c82ow/stupid_questions_saturday_november_11_2017/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for November 11, 2017.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 11, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Nov 11 05:10:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c82l1/daily_food_diary_november_11_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 11, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Intro] Intro
/u/RatchetButtons [5ft9 | ? | ? | GW: 56kg | F]
Created: Sat Nov 11 04:25:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c7wyr/intro/
---
Heyyy,
Just wanting to introduce myself and lay out some goals (I feel this is a good way to commit to them).
I developed an ED when I was around 20, I am now in my late 20's and have relapsed this year after a few years of normalcy. I guess I am EDNOS but have had a good 6 months of predominately binge eating and have gained a shit tonne of weight.
I can't live like this anymore. In my ED career I have been Bulimic and Anorexic but for me the binge(I mean like way mooore than a days worth of cals in one sitting) cycle is the worse, it is horrific. Not only does it make me feel disgusting, its physically painful with no relief from it, there is no feeling of control and my weight fluctuations are VERY noticeable. I don't look in the mirror because I am constantly ashamed of myself.
I am not ready to stop or get help for my ED yet (again) until I am back at my GW, but I am changing my work and living situation as I know its a major factor with the binge eating.
I will weigh myself at the end of next week Sun 19/11/2017 - my only goal for next week is not to binge, if I fast great, if I don't great. I can't weigh myself right now it would be too devastating. Once I weigh myself I will set some cal goals as I need to drop atleast 20kg by the look of me.
**Thanks to everyone here in the proED community for making such a safe, supportive place and for sharing your stories, thoughts and wacky humour - I wouldn't ever wish an ED upon anyone but it helps to not feel so alone in this.**
[Rant/Rave] Whoooooooooshhhh
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 61.5 kg | BMI: 22.9 | -22 kg | 21F]
Created: Sat Nov 11 04:02:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c7u9f/whoooooooooshhhh/
---
RAVE!
Guys! I had the best whoosh of my life. Why? Because I had to wait 5 weeks for it BUT I'm down to 61.5kg after a plateau of being 63kg. My waist shrinked from 76cm to 73cm after the bloating was gone and my hips! From 91.5cm to 87cm! Now I'll try not to sabotage myself and keep restricting. I really want to get below the 60s before december and now I can finally hope again! Hope ya'll had a nice morning too!
If I can force a thigh gap, then anyone can.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 11 02:56:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c7mry/if_i_can_force_a_thigh_gap_then_anyone_can/
---
https://imgur.com/PLLIXVH
Struggling to keep busy
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 11 02:02:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c7gj4/struggling_to_keep_busy/
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[deleted]
[Intro] An introduction and a thank you
/u/FattyMcSkinnison92
Created: Sat Nov 11 00:37:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c76e3/an_introduction_and_a_thank_you/
---
Hey ProEd,
I've made a throwaway to post here and I hope that's okay. To be honest, I've lurked for months now and I'm (surprise bitches) FAT (according to myself, passing no judgement on others).
Well, 139.5 pounds at 5'4. When I was 14, I was 105. Weird as it may sound to normal folk, I'd like to be there again. I'll not get into all the sass of "is that normal???" from you guys and I appreciate that. I never felt disordered, and coming to ProEd I feel normal. What does that mean? I don't know. What I do know, is that reading what the people here have had to say has been helpful and healing for me. So thanks, and I wish you what you need in your journeys, whatever that happens to be <3
[Discussion] Binges and Stress
/u/MythicalBitch [5'2 | 107 | 19.6 | Female]
Created: Sat Nov 11 00:36:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c76cs/binges_and_stress/
---
Hey everyone! I was doing really well the past few weeks trying to eat around 1200 calories a day. I was seeing a nutritionist and therapist to work on my many traumas. The past week though I have been binging everyday. I've been eating a boatload of calories in a handful of hours and I can't stop. I feel out of control. I am incredibly stressed about academics, personal relationships, and my alcohol dependence. I am at such a loss. I feel as if no one understands me. When I talked to my nutritionist about my binges she said they weren't actually binges, I guess because I didn't reach a high enough calorie number for "official" diagnosis. This has been a common theme. No one will acknowledge that i have an eating disorder even though I've had disordered eating of varying severeness for the past 6 years of my life. Just because I don't fit the standard definition doesn't mean I don't know something is wrong with me. How do you guys stop the trend of binging? What should I do when I can't get diagnosed with any official eating disorder? I'm really just looking for any understanding and support. Thank you :)
[Help] Work friend commented on my weight 2 weeks in a row. Conflicted.
/u/3caratpixie [5"5 | 100Lbs | 16.64| not sure]
Created: Sat Nov 11 00:16:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c73uw/work_friend_commented_on_my_weight_2_weeks_in_a/
---
I have a work friend that I see very rarely. I love him dearly in a fatherly way. He was in the office last week and commented that there was "a lot less of me" then the last time we saw each other, which was about 5mo ago. He was in again today and made another remark. This time it was made while my co-worker/trigger person, was present. Not sure what to make of it. (need to update my stats. I'm 5'5 100)
[Rant/Rave] Why do people feel the need to comment about your weight?
/u/Hannah-Girl
Created: Fri Nov 10 23:45:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c6zgn/why_do_people_feel_the_need_to_comment_about_your/
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I love my friends, but they are jerks. They think they know everything about nutrition ( all of them except a few overweight) and think they know what’s best for me. Every time I mention the word weight- we are in physics right now so it’s not like I can avoid it- they tease me about how skinny I am and about my eating disorder. My friend commented about how I am going to gain back all of my weight because I was eating a bag of popcorn. Fml😕
I know I am being over dramatic but it sucks when they make fun of you for something you hate about yourself, especially about something you can’t control.
[Help] How to appear heavier than you are?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 10 23:33:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c6xvx/how_to_appear_heavier_than_you_are/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Ever try to get better and it gets worse?
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Fri Nov 10 23:31:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c6xho/ever_try_to_get_better_and_it_gets_worse/
---
So I joined this healthy body challenge at the insistence of a friend. I figured why not, I’ve given up on therapy. Damn this is like therapy, too many feels. It’s just making things worse. I’m up as usual at 130am doing cardio high on caffeine letting it convince me that my ED doesn’t run my life. Elliptical now then run/walk in 16F weather. The wind better not be blowing. I might have to work today which sends me into panic because all I want to do is finish this cardio and get back in bed. I guess at least the suffering is for a good cause. My dad ignorant of my issues who has served this country for 35 years has pledged money for my steps to go to the wounded warrior foundation.
Happy weekend all, any fun plans this weekend? Fingers crossed I convince myself I deserve more than ED this weekend. I might stop engaging in this challenge, not sure I’m ready to confront my problems.
[Help] Help help help (birth control binging)
/u/whittlebone
Created: Fri Nov 10 22:54:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c6s42/help_help_help_birth_control_binging/
---
I have been good FOR MONTHS. And was getting to the point I had lost nearly 50 pounds. I started the patch two weeks ago and went from 172 to 180--- I know my weight is unstable throughout the month and I generally only get a mathematically sound reading on the scale after my period is over, after I've emptied my bowels. But to have gone up 8 pounds in two weeks... and I am freaking RAVENOUS. I am always starving it feels like and I'm just consuming everything in sight.
I am working in a medical facility right now and am just staring down a bottle of lactose. I have no idea what to do. Will this go away? Is this even true weight? Am I going to binge my way back to being a fat freak? I so desperately want to avoid purging but I am so scared.
[Rant/Rave] Scale keeps dropping but my joy is fleeting
/u/ParanoidPancreas [5'11"|CW 158|-15|GW 140|]
Created: Fri Nov 10 21:33:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c6fgl/scale_keeps_dropping_but_my_joy_is_fleeting/
---
Weighed in at 159 today. It's my first time being below 160 in over a year. I was super excited but only for like a minute tops, then I convinced myself that it wasn't a big deal and I'll *really* be happy when I reach 155. Well that's how I told myself I'd feel when I got under 160, and I'm sure the same thing will happen when I reach 150, then 140.. Sigh.
[Discussion] BMI 20. Still too fat? Just right? What do you think?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 10 21:18:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c6cyv/bmi_20_still_too_fat_just_right_what_do_you_think/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c6cyv/bmi_20_still_too_fat_just_right_what_do_you_think/
[Rant/Rave] Hoping it's just a whoosh.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 10 21:08:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c6bdn/hoping_its_just_a_whoosh/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I've binged all week and have a job interview in three days
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 10 20:59:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c69ux/ive_binged_all_week_and_have_a_job_interview_in/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] I can't tell whether I want attention or not
/u/nycthrowaway51 [5' 3" | CW: 93.5 | BMI: 16.6 | GW: 89]
Created: Fri Nov 10 20:35:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c65r9/i_cant_tell_whether_i_want_attention_or_not/
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I don't want to want attention for my eating disorder. But sometimes I'll fantasize about others commenting on my thinness and getting worried, and I'll feel like such a shitty person. I know some people would enjoy others getting worried over their weight loss, and I completely understand that. But it just feels messed up for me to wish for that. I feel conflicted: one part of me seems to attention, and the other part recognizes that that that's not right and tries to stop it. Can anyone relate to this?
[Other] [Taken from front page] Judy Garland was put on a strict diet of 80 cigarettes to suppress her appetite while filming the Wizard of Oz
/u/starpocalypse [4'10 | justfat | UGW: 76 | 🍑: starpocalypse]
Created: Fri Nov 10 20:35:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c65r4/taken_from_front_page_judy_garland_was_put_on_a/
---
https://www.express.co.uk/expressyourself/167269/Dark-side-of-Oz-The-exploitation-of-Judy-Garland
[Rant/Rave] Sort of fainted (but I'm not mad)
/u/lilac_blaire
Created: Fri Nov 10 20:18:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c62wx/sort_of_fainted_but_im_not_mad/
---
I've struggled with my weight forever. I never had the self control to meaningfully restrict - just to binge a ton and purge too little.
That's sort of changed in the last year, with getting on meds and all. So I'm trying to lose in a healthy way, but now that I have this much self/impulse control (compared to before), I'm actually able to meaningfully restrict.
Anyway, I've been sleeping like shit and eating <1000 cal for most of this week (which is pretty low for me), so I have been feeling rather lightheaded at times. Good, that means it's working, I'm powering through, etc.
Well, last night my boyfriend was over and stuff heated up. We've got a bit of a D/s thing going, so he was squeezing my neck (pretty gently) whilst making out. And then I just like... fainted for a second and fell on the floor.
I don't know. I mean, I guess it's not healthy that just a little bit of airflow restriction is all it takes. But I just feel so in control for the first time ever, and the incident reinforced my newfound strength; I can sort of hold out against my body now.
Oh well. I hope that's not too weird to share. But I'm pretty sure everyone else in my life, including my boyfriend, would think I'm nuts for getting any empowerment out of that situation.
[Rant/Rave] How to get back on track after a binge?
/u/floralpeach
Created: Fri Nov 10 19:56:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c5yye/how_to_get_back_on_track_after_a_binge/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Binging is back. I just want to die.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 10 19:45:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c5x53/binging_is_back_i_just_want_to_die/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Social sabotage.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 10 19:27:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c5tza/social_sabotage/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] The Hibachi challenge (I passed)
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW: 142 |CW: 125 |20.6 |GW 115 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 10 19:26:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c5tqn/the_hibachi_challenge_i_passed/
---
So I’m currently on vacation and trying my hardest to eat under 700 calories or just not eat at all. (My grandma loves to feed everyone) Today we went out to a hibachi place where they constantly placed food in front of everyone. It was hard not to want to eat it all, but I was able to super control myself and only ate 2 chopstick bites of rice and a few pieces of sirloin! I feel so proud of myself for being able to resist all that food, and I was actually able to make myself feel disgusted so I didn’t want to eat.
I felt kinda slimy at the end though because I literally packed 2 ex lax pieces to eat after dinner and I popped them during the meal without anyone noticing.
I still feel great though and have been able to maintain my weight and stay around 125-126. I can’t wait until after my vacation though. I miss not being forced to eat and being able to go the whole day on water. My next goal is to be 120 by Christmas!
[Other] Yet another Friday where my ED cancels my plans for me.....restriction loneliness
/u/2fckk
Created: Fri Nov 10 19:01:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c5p3b/yet_another_friday_where_my_ed_cancels_my_plans/
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Like, I'm pretty sure it's my eating disorder that has me canceling plans again. Eventually I'm going to burn every social connection currently available to me. I've already burned many.
Tonight I had plans to go to the bar where my bestfriend bartends. I was going to drive another friend. I got done work at 6pm. I hadn't really eaten much today plus I exerted a lot of mental and physical energy. Oatmeal with a banana for breakfast, a kale wrap, and a protein bar. I stopped at a gas station on my way home so that I'd have enough gas to drive us there and back (disclaimer: I wasn't going to drink alcohol so driving wasn't as issue and I offered). When I went to turn my car back on, it wouldn't. I called a tow truck and waited an hour and a half in the frigid cold. My fingertrips were blue and I was shivered to the bone (about 20 degrees here, we are having a 'stay indoors' alert for the cold weather). Anyway, the guy towed my car home and it's all good. But it's only 8:50pm and I canceled my plans.
I'm sitting here alone wondering, "Why did I actually cancel?" I feel like any normal person would consider the whole tow truck thing a mere inconvenience. The whole thing lasted from 6:15pm to about 8:30pm. Any normal person would want to go to a bar and be around friends to blow off steam. My friend even offered to drive so I wouldn't have to worry about driving + I could have some drinks. But I declined and came home and smoked weed and now I'm alone.
I'm....extremely bummed. Maybe I'm a little bit too bummed. I think it's malnourishment making my brain jump to false, very depressing conclusions. I feel panicky and close to tears. But also dead inside. I feel all these irrational thoughts...like I'm completely and utterly alone forever. Like my friends are thinking "ugh she always cancels, what a flake, she probably lied about her car." Because I do always cancel. But.....you guys, I'm so tired. I'm so so so tired. I'm not tired for about 5 minutes after my first few sips of coffee every morning. But I'm tired every other waking moment. Like, slip into bed and fall asleep tired. Heavy fatigue tired. Irrational thoughts tired. Very sad tired.
I feel very defeated tonight.
My boyfriend is visiting our college which is 4 hours away. He's out with all of his friends partying tonight. It's fine and all. They're my friends too I suppose. But I couldn't go on the trip because of work. I completely trust him and he's amazing and I'm happy he's having fun because that's healthy. But, it just adds insult to injury, you know? I'm not expressing any of this to him because I want him to have a good time. But I'm obviously insecure, I'm obviously lonely, and it hurts me deeply to recognize that hes out with a ton of friends while I'm burning bridges. He's vibrant and alive. I'm monotone and forgettable. I used to be vibrant and alive and funny and glowing. But then ED. Now I'm a vacant body.
If I had eaten enough today, if I wasn't skin and bones, if I still had the energy to feel excitement and the motivation to seek human connection then.....I probably would've gone to the bar tonight. I probably would've told the funny story of my car breaking down at a gas station. I would've laughed and slugged a beer and listened to my friend's lives. But instead I'm slumped over in my dimly lit room stoned with that malnourishment dizziness. I'm not hungry but I'm definitely ill from hunger, you know? Ugh. This is disorder.
Now my perfectionist, racing-thoughts, black&white brain is like: "Well, you stupid bitch. You're staying in tonight so you better be productive. Do some homework or clean your room." But I'm too tired. I'm too malnourished to fall asleep but too tired to be productive. I'm in that restriction insomnia hell-spot. I'm pretty much just staring while racing all-consuming thoughts swirl around my brain.
I feel so alone. Usually I embrace this feeling and tell myself "it makes you appreciate the happy times more" and "just take advantage of your sad mood and get independent things done" but tonight is different, idk. Defeat has sunken into my bones and it's distorting my thoughts entirely.
[Rant/Rave] Binged for the first time in 9 weeks and I'm so bummed
/u/shadowmachines
Created: Fri Nov 10 18:49:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c5mvv/binged_for_the_first_time_in_9_weeks_and_im_so/
---
I've been doing so well for the last 9 weeks. I've actually been in a recovery phase, losing weight at a healthy rate, .5 lbs/week, 250 cal deficit, and not being hungry all the time has kept me binge free for the last 9 weeks as well. I had a hard day, and if I had been at home, I could have eaten my fill of safe foods and been okay, but I wasn't. I was at my dad's house and I couldn't stop stealing food out of his fridge and I ate so much of it I had to go to the store to replace a whole box of skinny cow ice cream bars. Itemized binge:
The rest of a bag of frozen blueberries (194 c)
2 chicken spinach feta sausages (220 c, also I'm vegan)
6 skinny cow triple threat chocolate ice cream bars (1200 c -did I mention I'm vegan?)
4 chocolate covered mini donuts (280 c)
The rest of the Almond thins (195 c)
1 lb of chicken salad (680 c - I'm super vegan btw)
Another box of almond thins (540 c)
7 Pumpkin spice cookies (420 c)
Binge total: 3700
Day total: 4300
Amount over TDEE: +2000 cal
I just can't stop crying. I know that it won't make me gain that much weight. I just am so disappointed in myself. I hate feeling so out of control. I'm so worried about tomorrow because I work a 12 hr shift and those days are always really hard food days for me, and I'm just really stressed out about tomorrow ending up like today, and I feel like I had been doing so well and like my ED was under control and like I was making progress and getting better. This makes me feel like I lost all that progress. I know rationally that doesn't make sense, but I just feel so overwhelmed by sadness right now.
[Tip] 10 CALORIES FOR 4!
/u/allkindsofnewyou [5'2 | 95 | BMI 17 | F ]
Created: Fri Nov 10 18:39:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c5kzp/10_calories_for_4/
---
https://imgur.com/HsMqh7i
[Other] Some pages from IDNHAED that I really resonated with. Link to full comic in the comments.
/u/tjking333 [5'3ft 💮 CW:126lb 💮 BMI:22 💮 -40lb 💮 GW:100 💮 21F]
Created: Fri Nov 10 18:27:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c5ir1/some_pages_from_idnhaed_that_i_really_resonated/
---
https://imgur.com/gallery/k2I8v
[Rant/Rave] I give up lmao
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | 138.3 | 18.76 | ~61lbs | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Fri Nov 10 18:26:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c5io5/i_give_up_lmao/
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[removed]
[Help] Drinking tonight
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Fri Nov 10 18:19:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c5h6q/drinking_tonight/
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[removed]
[Other] First time I ever purged
/u/foghorn_willie
Created: Fri Nov 10 18:18:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c5h44/first_time_i_ever_purged/
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[removed]
[Discussion] skin recovery advice from recent 15 pd weight loss through unhealthy means. any advice?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 10 17:01:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c511y/skin_recovery_advice_from_recent_15_pd_weight/
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[deleted]
[Other] question about 🍑 I hope this is okay
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 10 17:01:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c511h/question_about_i_hope_this_is_okay/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c511h/question_about_i_hope_this_is_okay/
[Help] Good brands of low-calorie broth?
/u/110_percent_bot
Created: Fri Nov 10 15:31:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c4ine/good_brands_of_lowcalorie_broth/
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I want to buy low-calorie broth...by that I mean the powder where you just pour it into hot water and it's like under 10 calories for a cup. It should have some sodium (I want it for elecrolytes, to prevent dizziness and headaches), but not too much. Any suggestions? Thanks <3
[Intro] Re-Introduction
/u/light_as_a_feather04 [5'6 | 108 | 17.4 | GW: 98| 34/F]
Created: Fri Nov 10 15:29:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c4i80/reintroduction/
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Hi all! After being outed with my other username (ladybeeortoise). I created this account so I could continue lurking and posting. If you don't remember or didn't care to read I recently posted that I was going to try and maintain and be 'healthy'. I told my SO about my ED a few weeks ago and I told him I wasn't ready for help. He was under the impression I was at leat trying but he went through my phone and saw that I was deep in to my ED and I wasn't trying to at all.
So here I am being deceitful but I am not ready for help. In fact since he outed me, I lost another pound. I don't care. I'm back :)
[Discussion] Anybody here torn on their body ideals?
/u/placentagumbo [5'8" | CW 135 | GW 115 | UGW ?? | 26F]
Created: Fri Nov 10 15:23:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c4gyn/anybody_here_torn_on_their_body_ideals/
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On the one hand I want to be wispy and dainty and romantic looking and pull off the "super baggy sweater and leggings" look. Like this [Ayyy](https://i.imgur.com/kQ88PcL.jpg)
On the other hand I want to have visible muscle and sculpted arms and firm butt cheeks. Like this [Ayyy](https://i.imgur.com/c0GdCni.jpg) but I know I can't gain muscle without gaining some fat.
Anyone relate?
[Other] For those of you having a bad day, keep your head up!
/u/iheartlemons [5'1" | 97.2lb | 18.4BMI | Not Enough | 27F]
Created: Fri Nov 10 15:15:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c4f76/for_those_of_you_having_a_bad_day_keep_your_head/
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https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6GFvUCcljkM
[Other] broth
/u/Imberryhigh
Created: Fri Nov 10 15:12:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c4ei2/broth/
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[removed]
Husband was arrested on pedophilia charges today. I broke my 6 month strong 100 calorie a day rule and binged 2000+ calories. Want to die.
/u/cryingsohard
Created: Fri Nov 10 15:05:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c4d25/husband_was_arrested_on_pedophilia_charges_today/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Why does weight have so much emotional power
/u/TacosGetMeThrough [5'4|28F|SW: 183|CW: 164|GW: 120]
Created: Fri Nov 10 14:40:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c47b1/why_does_weight_have_so_much_emotional_power/
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I am having a hard time kicking the sweets after halloween but magically stayed at 162 so I start thinking I can continue that way then yesterday 165. And it made me HATE myself so much. I get scared how much I can hate myself. Who knew 3lb could have so much power over me. I literally went from just sitting there watching TV with my fiance to almost crying and saying I'm disgusting look at my disgusting body. So it stuck with me all day today like you look terrible, I really couldn't look that different 3lbs later but I can't shake it.
And it sucks because it goes around and around again. Even if it's 1 lb I'm like WHY DID YOU DO THIS.
I wish I could just restrict without giving in but I have so much +/- weight that I pretty much drive myself insane.
[Discussion] Body shape changes ?
/u/Keiwii [5'2 | GW1:120| UGW:90 | -45lbs]
Created: Fri Nov 10 14:22:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c43f1/body_shape_changes/
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Did any one else’s body shape change a lot ? I never really paid attention to my body shape when i was thin because i was younger , but as i got older and gained weight , i definitely started to pay attention . I was considered “ apple ”shaped and didn’t have much curves . I’ve currently lost 51lbs and I’m now considered “pear” and my waistline has way more definition . I thought i was doomed forever with my apple shape 😩 this may also be puberty since I’m 18 ?? Anyways , I’m super excited to see how small my waist can get .
No hate btw , I’ve just always preferred the pear shape , even more over the “hour glass” since I’ve been wanting small boobs forever . ( definitely getting there ) .
[Discussion] Identify with your safe foods
/u/321Model
Created: Fri Nov 10 13:51:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c3w59/identify_with_your_safe_foods/
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Does anyone else tie their identity to their safe foods?
Someone wrote the other day about romanticizing about their ED. I think it’s along this vain.
Whenever I see someone who’s figure I admire and they happen to have a food in hand, [like for example a cup of coffee](http://www.nutritionsecrets.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/pretty-woman-drinking-coffee.jpg), it makes me think I can be that beautiful and sexy if I drank coffee too. I also imagine I’m her (and not the pitiful mess I am) when I drink it and it gives me hope and strength to keep going.
As well, I tend to get obsessive with the safe food. I check on it to make sure I have enough. My fridge and panty have nothing but safe foods and I feel like I must eat them and not skip a meal. Sometimes I eat until I'm full and other times I don't. I treat them with so much more care than I do myself.
[Rant/Rave] Month of struggles
/u/smallmadscientist [5'2" | SW: 160 | CW: 138 | -22 | GW: 110 | F 23]
Created: Fri Nov 10 13:44:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c3uoe/month_of_struggles/
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For the last month, I have been battling a sinus infection. I have been treated for it now twice, now taking stronger meds. One of the problems I have is the fact that I'm supposed to eat with my medicines - not allowing me to restrict. And because I've been feeling like crap, I've been having a lot of soups lately. I'm bloated, feel like I've gained weight, and I really really want to get back on track with my weight loss; I'm tired of feeling fat.
[Rant/Rave] I feel like this is wrong but I can't help thinking it...
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 151.5 | GW: 118 | -15.3 | F24]
Created: Fri Nov 10 13:25:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c3qgm/i_feel_like_this_is_wrong_but_i_cant_help/
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So I've been having back pain for like 4 years but haven't gotten it checked out til now cause why would I waste time taking care of myself when actively suicidal 🙄 well it turns out I have fairly moderate scoliosis, and I'm probably gonna need to have some vertebrae fused within the next 10 years (I'm 24 now) if I make it that long.
Scoliosis isn't that serious of a condition, and most people don't have pain associated with it. For whatever reason it's hit me kinda hard though. My dad has a ton of back issues at 59 and watching him struggle now and knowing that could be me in 10 years....it hurts.
For whatever reason, my goal weight is actually however low I have to get for everyone to be able to clearly see how twisted and crooked my spine is. No one can see how fucked up and hurt and abused I am on the inside so I want everyone to at least see how fucked up and twisted I am on the inside. I know that's a totally messed up goal, but I can't help it.
Note: I'm drunk typing this so I guess this is just a sad, confusing rant that needed to come out. Sorry guys 😞
[Discussion] Wegmans?
/u/skinnifat [5'4" | CW: 112 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 10 13:11:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c3n68/wegmans/
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So uh when we're y'all gonna tell me Wegman's sells EVERY FLAVOR OF QUEST BARS AND QUEST HERO BARS EVERRRR!!!!!
can't believe you've all been keeping this info to yourselves smh.
ANYWAY, those with wegmans near you, what are some super exciting things you've found there?
Or am I dumb and wegmans aren't a common thing?
[Rant/Rave] A lil bit of sadness over things I’ve accepted
/u/edgy-af
Created: Fri Nov 10 13:09:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c3mnb/a_lil_bit_of_sadness_over_things_ive_accepted/
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I am a binge eater. I am a chronic overeater. I am a food addict.
You know how the harder you jump on a trampoline, the higher you go? Or how the more you pull on a rubber band, the more it’ll bounce back? The more I restrict, the more I binge. I binge. I binge. I binge.
I eat I eat I eat I eat I eat I think about eating I eat I eat I am uncomfortably full I think I think I cry I think I am no longer uncomfortably full I eat.
And I’m not in a state of being upset about that right now. I’m okay. I’m low, but I’m okay.
I feel like everyone is operating so much better than me, they’re up in the sky, I’m underground, and I can’t even imagine being able to reach. But I waste my time fantasizing.
I am sad because I have accepted I will never eat like a normal person. I have accepted I will probably never lose weight in a healthy and maintainable way. I would have at least 20-25 pounds to lose to get to a heavy healthy weight, 40-50 to get to what all the websites tell me is my “ideal weight”, and my original goal, for that I’d have to lose around 60 pounds. I’ve been trying for years. I’ve been failing for years.
I am sad because of how people might see me. I’m not lazy. I love walking and hiking and biking. But I’m fat. I love so many things that I feel like I’m not allowed to because I’m fat.
My whole life, I don’t think anyone has ever thought of me romantically. I’m a junior in high school. I don’t really want a boyfriend. You know that song, Fifteen by Taylor Swift? “When all you wanted was to be wanted”, I can see how that’s a dangerous game to play, being desperate to feel loved or wanted. I guess I want to be validated. I feel like I am perceived as worthless by other people. Like there’s nothing special about me. My self esteem is not actually so low, I know I’m a good writer. That’s it. (this post will probably not make anyone believe that I’m a good writer lol)
I guess my point is that it really is a shame how much we judge on looks. It isn’t really like we can control it. It isn’t really like anyone ever wants to.
Maybe I’ll try to eat 1200 calories from now on. I’m tall, so I should lose about 2 lbs a week with that. Why is heavy restriction so much easier? I tell myself the same thing every time. Every time, I guess I’m lying.
I wanted to quickly edit this a little. What does doing this in a healthy way entail? No thinspo, I guess. No leaning into disordered habits, either way. Accepting that BED is, for me, as mentally unhealthy as other eating disorders (every time I’ve tried to get help, it’s brushed off because bingeing won’t kill me so no one cares). Relearning everything I know? Because apparently everything I know is just about food. Making this a happy process, not a suffering “you need to not eat” process. Ohhhh wow. This is hard. I can’t believe I’m saying it, but I guess I want to recover. Binge eating cannot improve my life, and from this point on, it will not be a major facet of my life in any way. I want to recover. Wow. I don’t really want to be blocked from here, but I guess I’ll be on my other account from now on. This is it. This is my next vice to beat. I can do it, just like I did with SH. I can.
[Other] Procrastinating eating...
/u/mintslut
Created: Fri Nov 10 12:45:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c3h1o/procrastinating_eating/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Don't know what to think.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 10 12:44:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c3gxx/dont_know_what_to_think/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] what's the silliest thing you've ended up crying over?
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 102 | 18.1 | F 🍍]
Created: Fri Nov 10 12:44:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c3gu2/whats_the_silliest_thing_youve_ended_up_crying/
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in relation to your ed (or not)
inspired by a very similar askreddit post.
one time I stuck my hand into my pantry to grab a potato, felt it was soft and wet and fuzzy (it had rotted in like two days) and reflexively started crying because A, rotting food scares and disgusts me, and B I couldn't have my baked potato for dinner like I planned. it took like ten minutes to calm down, I am an emotional rock.
[Rant/Rave] REALLY struggling not to binge after fasting...
/u/RtB107
Created: Fri Nov 10 12:40:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c3g0f/really_struggling_not_to_binge_after_fasting/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Thinking the Wrong Numbers
/u/kvikerdragen [5'6.5" | 21F | CW 117.0 | GW 111 | HW 182]
Created: Fri Nov 10 12:04:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c374y/thinking_the_wrong_numbers/
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Okay so, to give context / an example, this morning after I ate and drank water, I guessed my weight (as I do often--I try to guess how different it is from the baseline no water, just-used-the-bathroom-in-the-morning-weight) before stepping on the scale.
I guessed somewhere between 117 and 118lbs, except I (once again) noticed that I thought it as "178lbs". I've done this quite a lot recently, and my curiosity wonders if it's my body subconsciously "correcting" my weight to what I feel like I weigh or something, or if it's just the result of "thinking too fast" or whatever.
Thus, I open the question to the community: Does anyone else notice themselves doing things like this, and if so (or even if you just want to give your two cents about me) what do you think the reasoning behind it is?
[Discussion] Pro ED
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Fri Nov 10 11:56:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c351l/pro_ed/
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So I made a group on Fitbit. Supporting all stages of all eating disorders and basically just a safe place without judgement. Inspired by you guys, the name is Pro ED. It’s private of course. So just dm your email of you want to join.
[Help] Has anyone used the Metamucil Appetite Control Powder?
/u/chocolatecoveredpugs [5'4| 118| 20.6 | -22lbs | F]
Created: Fri Nov 10 11:49:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c33c9/has_anyone_used_the_metamucil_appetite_control/
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I know it's just psyllium husk (which tastes like sawdust to me) but has anyone used any of their flavored versions? Or is it probably just a waste of money?
[Rant/Rave] recovery advice is making me more anxious
/u/ci-fre [5' | 73 -74 lb | ~15-15.2 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 10 11:46:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c32pm/recovery_advice_is_making_me_more_anxious/
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I don’t know what to do. I’m trying to get better... ish. Maybe not recovery but at least harm reduction. I’m trying to increase my calories but I keep hearing advice to do it gradually and I keep getting panicked I’m doing everything too gradually
and I’m told, oh, don’t worry if you can’t reach your goal but to me that just sounds like “it’s not important for you to reach your intake goals” which makes me feel guilty about *trying hard* to reach them...
And then I can’t “compensate” by eating more if I ate less than planned on one day ... which just means that, I have to eat less. fuck.
all of this recovery advice is making me feel like I’m eating too much and making me less inclined to eat
[Rant/Rave] Time to try laxatives
/u/serenityswild
Created: Fri Nov 10 11:41:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c31aq/time_to_try_laxatives/
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I've had problems with my BM's for a while now. Probably most of my teenage years ( I'm 19 now) I would only go maybe 2-3 times a week MAX.
Since going vegan in august it's gotten a little bit better but now that I'm restricting more I'm having trouble getting them out.
Any advice? I want them to help me for more reasons than one (obviously) but I'm scared of shitting myself in public or something....
[Discussion] does anyone here have Emily program experience?
/u/crochetyhooker [5'8" | CW 187 |BMI 28 | 11lbs lost | Female]
Created: Fri Nov 10 11:39:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c30x8/does_anyone_here_have_emily_program_experience/
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My parents Havre asked me to try residential. I've heard good things about them but I'm nervous. Online reviews are mixed and it seems main complaints are under staffing and a decline in quality of care. The phone interview I did today pout my mind at ease... but then I read stuff on the web.
Does anyone here have experience with their program?
[Help] Calorie count?
/u/bearantenna8611
Created: Fri Nov 10 11:13:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c2uqa/calorie_count/
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https://i.redd.it/yfp5rpzov6xz.jpg
[Other] TIL Lord Byron was an anorexic/ bulimic
/u/then_she_said [5'7 | -58 | 27F | UGW: 130]
Created: Fri Nov 10 11:11:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c2u9l/til_lord_byron_was_an_anorexic_bulimic/
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* [Source](http://unpretentiousblabberings.blogspot.com/2014/11/lord-byron-male-anorexic.html)
"While at Cambridge University, [Byron] began to connect his concern over becoming fat with his belief that he was more creative and thought more clearly while he was skinny. This led him to subsist on a diet of biscuits and soda water, or potatoes drenched in vinegar, which usually resulted in vomiting and diarrhea. He weighed himself obsessively, and took to wearing numerous layers of clothing (often heavy wool sweaters) in order to sweat as much as possible. He would often binge on very large meals, and then vow to decrease his limited diet even further to counteract those binges."
Apparently, Byron abused laxatives and smoked cigars/ drank vinegar to curb his appetite.
* [More interesting stories about historical eating disorders.](http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-16351761)
"[[Elizabeth von Wittesbach](http://www.brookpace.co.uk/product-images/Normal/1b46341b-0e8e-41a8-aeff-8854b3f9f180-1.jpg) was t]aller than her husband by several centimetres, she weighed a mere 7st 7lbs (48kg) and her waist, checked daily by her hairdresser, had to measure 19.5in (49.5cm) or she would not eat.
She exercised vigorously, resembling an outlandish bird as she hung from gymnastic rings in a black ostrich feather-trimmed gown. She also swallowed only emetics, laxatives, oranges, and thin broth or one glass of milk from her own personal cow."
[Help] Vitamin advice
/u/Elizawitch
Created: Fri Nov 10 10:21:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c2hy3/vitamin_advice/
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I have really shit skin, nails and hair so I take biotin as well as b12 and was wondering if they are making me gain/hungry or am I just paranoid??? Has/is anyone else going through this?
[Rant/Rave] A very different craving
/u/MymlanOhlin [5'5" | CW: 137.7 lbs | 23 | WL: 24 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Nov 10 10:06:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c2eh7/a_very_different_craving/
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I'm no stranger to desperate cravings. I sometimes even forget that it's NOT normal to wake up and crave gummy candy, lose focus at work, and cry at the grocery store when I find out that they are out of whatever food I've been thinking about all day.
Lately though, I've had an entirely different type of craving. I keep wanting to *just be full*. I want to feel actual substance in my stomach and release a satisfactory sigh after a meal.
"Oh this is not weird at all", you say. "Of course you're craving lots of food if you have been eating just 200 calories per day for a many weeks!". But no... actually, I haven't been restricting, or rather, I've been failing at restricting each and every day. Restriction used to be so easy for me, even with much higher activity level.
I'm frustrated and sad that I might never lose weight, and all I want to do is eat dense, starchy, thick food.
[Discussion] DAE shift between wanting and not wanting to recover?
/u/skyofAuroras [5'10" | CW: 125lbs | GW: 115lbs |19F]
Created: Fri Nov 10 09:56:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c2bsq/dae_shift_between_wanting_and_not_wanting_to/
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I keep going through little phases where I want to recover and be able to eat normally. I then don't restrict for a day or two, but then I immediately notice the weight gain and I panic. I then keep restricting even more than usual and then the cycle repeats. Probably why I'm not losing any more weight. Sometimes I'm just like " FUCK THIS, I'm gonna eat good food and not feel bad!!!" and others times I want to throw up after eating an oreo. So any of you guys do this as well or am I just weird for doing this so often?
[Rant/Rave] Contradictory comments on weight
/u/2017HeyJude
Created: Fri Nov 10 08:23:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c1q6z/contradictory_comments_on_weight/
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[please flare as rant/rave]
So yesterday I had 2 appointments, one with my therapist (I see him for anxiety) and one with my general doctor (I just had to renew a prescription).
Therapist: I opened up about my problems with food and the fact that I’m losing weight and I’m feeling kinda scared about it and probably suffer from dysmorphophobia because the more I lose the more I feel fat. He asked if I had lost a lot and I didn’t want to give numbers so I just said “a few kgs” and told him I only have a mechanical scale at home (the kind with an arrow, not very precise). Which is a lie because I also got an electronical scale but that one is a bit wonky so I don’t really trust it. His advice was to BUY MYSELF ANOTHER SCALE, more accurate, and to eat snacks. Yeah, great.
Doctor: I walked in and she directly noted I had lost weight (I last saw her about 6 moths ago). She weight me (all dressed with a big sweater and two T-shirt’s because it’s super cold here) and I lost 2kg since September (I had come in but she was not there so she wasn’t the one seeing me in September), and checked my files and told me I had lost 5kg since the last time she saw me. 5kg is not a lot for 6 months, but she still asked me if I was doing ok, how therapy was going, how was work, stress etc... I felt under huge suspicion. She got out all my medical files and looked at all my weight-ins, and concluded I was the same weight that I was in 2006 (when I was depressed). She ended by saying to keep my weight under control and be careful (haha yeah right).
Went back home, called my mom, told her the doctor said I lost a bit too much weight. She asked for the numbers, and told me that was ok and I didn’t looked sick so everything must be ok.
So that was a rollercoster of people all saying different stuff and now I’m lost and just want to lose more, I feel like a brat.
On a lighter (haha) note, i went shopping and got size 34 pants (it’s UK 6, dunno about US size ?) because all my pants are too big now, and I’m pretty sure the shop had vanity sizing but it still made me feel super good, I haven’t had pants in that size since highschool.
[Rant/Rave] My mom keeps commenting on how much weight I've lost
/u/RedditRanOutOfNamess [5'9 | CW 245 | GW 120 | HW 278 | 21 F]
Created: Fri Nov 10 08:16:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c1om0/my_mom_keeps_commenting_on_how_much_weight_ive/
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I haven't seen my mom in 3 months and I've lost around 30 pounds since then so she keeps saying she can't believe how much weight I've lost, how we should go shopping because my clothes are all falling off, that I'm a inspiration for losing so much, etc. I feel like such a fraud. I used to think I would be happy when people pointed out my weight loss but I'm just.. not? I just keep thinking about how I'm still so fat and that I'm going to gain it all back by actually eating this weekend which I know is silly but I can't just put it aside and think rationally. Also when my mom asked if I had been working out to lose weight I said no and she immediately said "oh so you just stopped eating." I think she might know 🙃
[Discussion] Is anyone else planning to get better, but just not yet?
/u/bethanl
Created: Fri Nov 10 07:24:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c1dil/is_anyone_else_planning_to_get_better_but_just/
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For me I do want to change, the thought of spending my whole 20s like this is a nightmare - but I just want to go a bit further first. I know when I go on holiday this Christmas I won't be able to avoid the calories, so if I can just carry on until then I'll have some room. If I can hit another weight goal before then, even better!
[Intro] Long time lurker! First time poster !
/u/redelisd
Created: Fri Nov 10 07:11:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c1b1m/long_time_lurker_first_time_poster/
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Hello lovelies! I just want to take a minute to say this community is by far the most conscientious, kind, caring ED forum I’ve found anywhere on the internet and I’m really happy (well as happy as one can be) to get involved here.
So I’m 5’8 and have been in weight loss for about year now, I’ve struggled with ED about 4 years ago and managed to put on about 60+ pounds during recovery. My highest weight around October last year was 185lbs and I’m now 155lbs and it feels so good to be back in control again, I’m being asked out more, people notice me more, I feel human!!! My lowest weight was 120 and My ultimate goal weight is 115,
nice to meet you all!!
[Help] Really in need of some support.
/u/NegativeOscillation
Created: Fri Nov 10 07:03:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c19bu/really_in_need_of_some_support/
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This isn’t 100% ED related but I’m looking for better advice than “call your doctor” or giving me numbers to suicide hotlines - I am not suicidal.
This is long, so buckle up...
On the outside, I’m successful. I’m young, about to earn my Ph.D. working a job in my field with a post-doc position in line, I’ve published multiple articles in peer-reviewed journals in my field. I’m married to an amazing guy, we have a house, pets, etc. I should be happy and grateful, but I feel nothing.
I’ve been on sertraline (Zoloft) for depression for nearly 6 months, but it doesn’t seem to be helping and I can only talk to my doctor about it because I never even told my husband I have depression. It’s like... I feel ashamed to tell him? I don’t know. Lately it’s been excessive though. I feel completely empty and apathetic.
This, in turn, has cause me to return to bingeing and laxative abuse, which I’ve been recovered from for almost five years. Using laxatives makes me feel so gross and more ashamed, but somehow the more I take the worse I feel about myself and yet have a stronger urge to take more (???)
I don’t know what the point of this is. I just need some support or maybe advice. I’m not feeling anything... not happy or sad, not motivated to do work that I REALLY need to do, not motivated to workout, which used to be my escape. I don’t know what’s going on.
[Help] Too early to eat
/u/serenityswild
Created: Fri Nov 10 06:13:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c102w/too_early_to_eat/
---
[removed]
[Goal] I should start going things to make myself proud instead of ashamed.
/u/ibizadaydreams [5'1 | CW124 | 22.7 | GW95| F]
Created: Fri Nov 10 05:37:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c0tuq/i_should_start_going_things_to_make_myself_proud/
---
I'm always posting about bad things and being negative. The closer I get to my trip around the world, the more grateful I start to feel towards everything else in life that isn't related to my body.
I was upset with myself this morning because this past week has been very bad for binging and purging. Whenever I'm alone or if I have the car I just can't stop myself. Yesterday was one of the worst days for it. I was so close to telling my husband he had to come home because I couldn't stop. Maybe the closer I get to the trip the more I'm stressing about everything and the more calming it is to binge/purge. But it's a huge waste of money, money that I really need for the trip.
So today is the day I take back control. The next 20 days I'm going to need to hustle hard to get everything ready. I will be too busy to notice that I'm restricting. Even though I always gain the weight right back, I really enjoy seeing how much I can lose in a short amount of time. So at least at the start of the trip I will be at a lower weight for sure.
Even though I'm disappointed in myself today I can get through it. I'm getting a massage today, as well as a tattoo... It was supposed to be a reward for reaching my goal weight, which I'm not even near it. Still going to reward myself anyways. The upsetting part is that my massage therapist and tattoo artist are really the only male contact I have outside of my husband and I was hoping to be much smaller and hoping at least one of them would notice and say something about it. That would have been great. But, I will just keep thinking about this day going forward and how I wish I would have been better if I just had more control.
Twenty days until the trip, CW is 124lbs...I hope to be below 115 by December 1st.
[Rant/Rave] Being able to do this to both my arms has been my goal since I watched To The Bone 😍 first time I've been able to
/u/bagelzboi [5'3 | CW:83bs | GW: 13.5 BMI | 21F ]
Created: Fri Nov 10 05:24:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c0ruh/being_able_to_do_this_to_both_my_arms_has_been_my/
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https://imgur.com/RBu9F1w
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! November 10, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Nov 10 05:12:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c0q6m/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for November 10, 2017.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 10, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Nov 10 05:12:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c0q64/daily_food_diary_november_10_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 10, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] Feeling like you need to lose between doctors appointments...
/u/loserlosing5 [164cm | CW: 66 | Weight Lost: 19kg since April '17]
Created: Fri Nov 10 04:25:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c0jar/feeling_like_you_need_to_lose_between_doctors/
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Otherwise your doctor won’t believe you have an ED? I got weighed today and I’ll be seeing my doctor again in 3 weeks to see if a medication I’ve been prescribed will cause weight gain (curse you bipolar!). But I plan on eating 500 cals or less and exercising daily just to continue my weight loss. Already lost 20kg (40~ lbs) in 4 months with high restricting so I know the weight will come off fast but I feel like if I maintain or god forbid gain then “well see you’re fine you don’t need help” (currently on a waiting list for help).
Sigh weird ramblings sorry!
[Rant/Rave] I dont know what to do
/u/RickyBubblesLahey
Created: Fri Nov 10 03:57:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c0fdf/i_dont_know_what_to_do/
---
[removed]
[Help] Fasting help
/u/Vitaneon
Created: Fri Nov 10 02:04:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7c00kt/fasting_help/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] so scared i'm gonna binge when i wake up tomorrow
/u/seawardwaves [5'8" 🤷 cw~125 gw~108]
Created: Fri Nov 10 01:35:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bzx4f/so_scared_im_gonna_binge_when_i_wake_up_tomorrow/
---
thank god i made it through tonight. i didn't give into the bunge urge. i asked my mother this morning to buy more grapes (my go-to safe food) and instead she bought pizza. cue nervous breakdown and impulse to eat everything in existence just to spite her and her fucking pizza.
but i didn't. i had a cup of broth and some tea. ten calories for the evening, putting me at 320 for the whole day. lower than i planned!
but tomorrow. there's so much pizza in the fridge. pizza is my kryptonite. i can't just throw it out, bc i have to spend the whole morning at home and my family is here and it would raise oh so many questions lmao
what am i gonna do? everything is so hard. so, so hard. that pizza is fucking teasing me. i want it. ugh why can't i just lock myself forever in my room with only my precious grapesssss
[Intro] [Intro] Finally coming out of lurking. My intro and history.
/u/ParanoidPancreas [5'11"|CW 162|GW 140]
Created: Fri Nov 10 00:59:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bzsdy/intro_finally_coming_out_of_lurking_my_intro_and/
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Hey everyone. I just wanted to formally introduce myself. I've been lurking for quite some time and figured it's time to join the community (that is, if you'll have me!)
I'll try to keep this short, but I'll probably fail at it.
I've been struggling with disordered eating for most of my life, and my weight has fluctuated severely for many years. I grew up in an abusive and mentally ill household, so I often ate to comfort myself. It also didn't help that my parents and grandparents were relentless, constantly picking on me (and my sister) about our bodies... We were always "way too fat" or "way too skinny". That led to a lot of the confusion and dysmorphia that we both still have.
I was a fat kid for a long time, until I got went through a big growth spurt freshmen year in HS (I grew almost 6 inches suddenly) and my body redistributed everything and I suddenly became "attractive" or whatever. I liked all the new attention I was getting from people, so my constant overeating changed rapidly to severe restriction in order to try to maintain my figure. I yo-yo between long periods of binging and restriction and my weight has fluctuated between 130 and over 170 the past 10 years.
This year I hit my highest weight ever of 173. I had been in a depressed funk for months and binging again. I realized something had to change, so last month I started a restriction schedule of 1000 calories a day. I've lost 13 pounds since then and I'm actually seeing the results before my eyes, it is so crazy. I still feel fat a lot but at least I know progress is happening.
You know, for the longest time I was afraid that my food issues weren't that bad because my sister definitely has it harder than me, as she is severely bulimic and already has esophageal damage from it. But I've been slowly learning through reading y'all's posts that I don't need to question whether I'm sick enough or compare myself to others. I keep trying to tell myself that my struggle may be different, but it is still valid.
Anyway, thanks for listening to my long ass story. Looking forward to getting to know you all a little better ❤️
[Rant/Rave] Did A Three Day Fast And Now I'm Scared To Eat
/u/Flesh_Daddy_
Created: Fri Nov 10 00:46:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bzqml/did_a_three_day_fast_and_now_im_scared_to_eat/
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I broke the fast a few hours ago with like two or three cups of popcorn and then weighed myself because I was so scared that the popcorn was going to make me gain. And it's all I ate and can't stop thinking about it. I don't even wanna eat my light progresso soups that're like 140 calories for a whole can. I'm steering away from food altogether. Anyone have a similar experience?
[Help] need an ana buddy to keep me focused
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 10 00:43:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bzq9b/need_an_ana_buddy_to_keep_me_focused/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bzq9b/need_an_ana_buddy_to_keep_me_focused/
[Discussion] I am not asking to be diagnosed. I am going through some changes and just wanted to know if there is anyone else out there that has felt same.
/u/demon_kitten
Created: Fri Nov 10 00:34:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bzp0p/i_am_not_asking_to_be_diagnosed_i_am_going/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Mustard binge
/u/2girly4me [5'6 | SW 145# | CW 135# | GW 120# | 20F]
Created: Thu Nov 9 23:41:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bzhdd/mustard_binge/
---
I just ate (drunk?) half a bottle of mustard (10 oz, 0 kcal 😍). It tastes so good, and it helped me feel full right now.
I don't hate myself for doing it, and I have less of an urge to eat crackers or chocolate or something else.
I have used mustard with other foods. But after realizing that bread is simply a medium to transfer food, I stopped eating loafed bread all together. I'm even considering cutting out any grains completely.
Why do models have to be so long and thin???
/u/ssfbgm
Created: Thu Nov 9 23:09:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bzcff/why_do_models_have_to_be_so_long_and_thin/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] The hunger pains got so bad that I decided to eat so that I could fall asleep.
/u/NightLightCrimes96 [5'8'' | 20F]
Created: Thu Nov 9 22:46:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bz8pp/the_hunger_pains_got_so_bad_that_i_decided_to_eat/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I hate the social improvement advice saying "lose weight and hit the gym"
/u/BlackHairedBloodElf [❤ 5' 2" 💛 CW: 99.8 💚 GW: 99 💙 18.2 💜 F ❤]
Created: Thu Nov 9 22:39:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bz7n4/i_hate_the_social_improvement_advice_saying_lose/
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I already do this and still can't make friends. I've been trying for years. I'm medically underweight now.
So does this mean I'm still fat? Because I've opened up a lot and people still make plans right in front of me and I never get invited. I invite people and get ignored or ghosted only to see others going out to do things on Snapchat.
I guess I am still tubby. Better up gym time from an hour to two, I guess. Hope I don't pass out on the treadmill.
[Other] My collar bones say 120 but my body is 145... Oh I can’t imagine how my collar bones will look when I actually reach 120. (They make holes that can actually hold water haha and my bra straps don’t always touch them)
/u/coffeebean27
Created: Thu Nov 9 22:36:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bz71x/my_collar_bones_say_120_but_my_body_is_145_oh_i/
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https://i.redd.it/clvtc9ch43xz.jpg
[Goal] just need to lose 35-40lbs to start living my life again and finally be happy..
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 9 22:30:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bz65z/just_need_to_lose_3540lbs_to_start_living_my_life/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] self control is so fickle
/u/citygirlcitymind
Created: Thu Nov 9 22:23:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bz50b/self_control_is_so_fickle/
---
my boyfriend and i exchanged our first i love yous (!!!) so my reaction was to run to the kitchen and start chomping down on pure junk. why???? this is a good moment, and yet i’m sitting here thinking about how much i ate instead of what happened. how come self control is so easy when you’re miserable and so hard when you’re happy? it’s like i punish myself when i’m in a bad mood and learn to see the hunger as what i deserve. yet when i’m happy i ruin my whole week ahead with my senseless habits.
(on mobile, also new to this so clueless as to “flair”s, sorry! i’m calling this a rant borne out of loneliness and guilt)
[Other] Songs not explicit about EDs or BP but with mentions. themes, etc?
/u/SvelteDreams [5'5" | CW 121.4lbs | GW 103lbs | 21F]
Created: Thu Nov 9 22:22:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bz4sw/songs_not_explicit_about_eds_or_bp_but_with/
---
I'm looking for songs that aren't overtly about eating disorders but have mentions of them, like Marina and the Diamond's "Teen Idle". Any songs that you all really like?
[Discussion] Coldness
/u/coffeebean27
Created: Thu Nov 9 22:03:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bz1i1/coldness/
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I’m definitely not skinny so why am I always cold? I try to eat ~1000-1200 calories a day (always busy and running around/workout everyday other day). I purge any food after 5 pm.
I’m barely 145 ish and I’m no where near underweight so why are my hands always so damn cold?
[Discussion] Question about... butts
/u/alwayssoclose
Created: Thu Nov 9 21:23:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7byupx/question_about_butts/
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Have always been lean and maintained a certain level of fitness until I got sick (autoimmune stuff) a couple of years ago. I cared less about the fit part, was too tired so my bubble butt started to fall. Cue surgery a couple months ago, subsequent weight gain, and here I am - daily lurker.
Floating in a 3 lb range around GW. Currently 110 at 5’7.5. Measurements have improved, but my butt (which was falling anyway) now looks like some semi-decent glutes with a little half butt of fat underneath? What the heck? It’s so strange. I’m just glad it’s not summer.
So what do I do? Restrict until it’s gone then work on maintaining and firming up? Getting decent protein now (barely under mtnc for total caloric intake) and am trying to target glutes a couple of times a week - will this work? I don’t care anything about having junk in the trunk (or rather not actually) but would like a nice shape - not a double butt!
Sorry so long - describing this is wacky. To top it off, I was trying to decide what my shape was... idk. Rectangular bone structure with a wide rib cage and pretty small hips, but any weight gain seems to fly right to my butt and upper thighs (so pear tendencies.).
Tl;dr : Bodies are weird. Try to build glutes to reshape butt now or try to lose remaining fat pocket then reshape?
[Goal] Kind of an intro? Kind of more putting out my goal and backstory out there to make it cement in my head.
/u/fortunate-foolx
Created: Thu Nov 9 21:19:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7byu0m/kind_of_an_intro_kind_of_more_putting_out_my_goal/
---
currently, i weigh 210-ish lbs (disgusting and inexcusable ik.) I used to weigh 85. i gained 140 lb in 2 years due to recovery. and right now, i’m relapsing. i already lost 15 pounds, and i’m feeling so good, not angry at myself constantly. i still despise my body, but i’m beginning to feel better the more weight i lose. i know this i the wrong road, but i’m determined. hell bent on this path. i want to weigh 85 pounds again.
[Rant/Rave] I think I’m going to maintain for now.
/u/lavenderbruises [5'9"|CW 108| GW 100| BMI 15.7| 19F]
Created: Thu Nov 9 21:12:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7byssl/i_think_im_going_to_maintain_for_now/
---
Today I noticed for the first time that I have not one, but several small bald spots.
I’m constantly cold. My butt hurts no matter how many cushions I sit on. I saw a picture of my back the other day and I could count my spine bones. Just seeing that kind of freaked me out—I never thought I was THAT skinny.
But more importantly, I’m not happy. I like eating. I like cooking. Taking that away from myself just seems so cruel, especially when I need the nourishment for exams and projects and clinical days. I’ve actually found myself thinking, “Am I willing to sacrifice my performance in school in exchange for a few more pounds?”
The answer is no. I dislike my body but I have to put this on hold. My future and my grades are more important to me than this at the moment. I’m going to eat at maintenance indefinitely and see where that takes me. Wish me luck yall.
[Other] I argued with my dad over dinner so he wouldn't notice I wasn't eating.
/u/ask1ngalexandra [5'1 | 105 | 20.72 | -13 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 9 20:54:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7byphl/i_argued_with_my_dad_over_dinner_so_he_wouldnt/
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I just kept bringing up new topics he'd want to argue over (mostly friendly) so he wouldn't notice all I had was tea, xanax, and wine
It worked! Everyone ate their jambalaya and asked how mine was, and no one noticed that I never even got a plate of my own
[Rant/Rave] all that hard work, gone
/u/peachybummer
Created: Thu Nov 9 20:37:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bymdi/all_that_hard_work_gone/
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just got back from a 2 week vacation where i basically told myself “fuck it im on vacation!” mixed with “life is pointless and everything is still bleak” and ate everything in sight. LUCKILY where I was I could walk everywhere so I did, which turned out to be my saving grace because I was binging every. single. fucking. day. and i am only up 5~ lbs but goddammit the walking wasn’t enough. My legs are getting thick again and my hip bones are disappearing noooooo! and now back home for one day, guess what ya girl did at 22 of the 24 hour fast? BINGE. and im so disappointed in myself.
but now im determined to fight the binges back and drop the weight again. I loved when I fasted because I felt fucking invincible. With binging it leaves me with anger and then apathy. I’m so sick of this shit. Lately I have been heavily considering to start purging (last time I threw up from sickness it kind of felt good?) and I do not want to go down that road. God, I wish I didn’t look at food with guilt and envy. I hate stopping at three different gas stations on the way home to grab food because “I might not have enough.” I don’t want to make trips to the local convenience store at midnight to clear the snack food shelves. I don’t want to have food on my mind 24/7. I don’t want food to be the only reason I feel full and satisfied anymore.
(tl;dr went on vacation, gained weight but less than expected, now trying to change habits)
[Intro] hi. intro...
/u/SerialKillerBunny
Created: Thu Nov 9 20:31:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bylag/hi_intro/
---
hello.
i'll be 35 in a month and im way, way too old to do this but still here i am. i am bulimic. first purged when i was 16, got heavily medicated soon after. balooned to the size of a baby whale. relapsed after having my younger child 6 years ago. im fat, bloated, cant poop, my throat hurts and im rapidly losing hair.
can i hang?
also here's my [latest thinspo album](https://imgur.com/a/siScu)
[Rant/Rave] My ED makes no sense when it tells me to purge a lean cuisine
/u/SpaceWhale88
Created: Thu Nov 9 20:28:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bykt2/my_ed_makes_no_sense_when_it_tells_me_to_purge_a/
---
I ate McDonald's for lunch and didn't purge or even want to and now I've eaten a 300 cal lean cuisine and I can't shake the desire to purge. Earlier this week I had 1/2 a bottle of wine and said fuck those calories but then was afraid to eat a 250 cal salad.
[Rant/Rave] I hate being told that I look "healthier" now.
/u/notsohappycarrot [5'9|CW:131|GW:120|19.3 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 9 20:25:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7byk7i/i_hate_being_told_that_i_look_healthier_now/
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Healthy just means fat. In my eyes at least. At my low weight, I used to secretly love it when I was told that my waist was too tiny, or when my guy friends would wrap their hand around my arm completely and freak out. I remember when a coworker told me that I was so skinny that I "look like a drug addict". Best complement ever tbh.
I want to be able to see my bones again, and get all those stupid comments about how thin I am. I don't really know where I was going with this but yeah.
[Rant/Rave] Anniversary
/u/keyboardpal [5'11" | CW: 180lbs. | GW: 160lbs. | 24M]
Created: Thu Nov 9 20:25:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7byk4b/anniversary/
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Tomorrow will be one year since I went to treatment for my ED and it's bringing up some hard feelings. I am definitely not in recovery right now. I feel like I'm letting down everyone I went to treatment with. And my family, who helped me pay for treatment. But all this guilt and shame just fuels the disorder even more.
I just can't get out of this thing. Eating makes me feel bad. And thanks to treatment, *not* eating also makes me feel bad. So if I'm gonna feel bad either way, I might as well be skinny, right? I guess the counter argument is that treatment is supposed to make eating less awful and scary.I guess my brain is only wired for negative reinforcement.
Another thing that's kind of playing into my current feelings is that I recently started purging again. I can feel the awful b/p cycle circling the drain. I remember how bad it was before, and I know that's where it's heading now, but for some reason that number on the scale is more important to me.
Honestly, I guess the reason is that my ED distracts me from living my life. I've failed so much, it's just simpler to make a number go down than to deal with more failure. It makes it easier to live this stagnant existence I've resigned myself to.
I know this is extremely rambly, but I just needed to get this out where someone will understand.
Binge guilt...
/u/vctrlcs [5'6" | CW: 155.8 | GW: 130 | UGW: 115 | BMI: 25.1 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 9 20:14:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7byi9t/binge_guilt/
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[removed]
[Tip] Tips on dealing with dizziness/not passing out on really low cals (not pro ana, just broke)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 9 20:14:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7byi98/tips_on_dealing_with_dizzinessnot_passing_out_on/
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[deleted]
[Help] Does anyone know how many calories are in these?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 9 20:06:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bygpe/does_anyone_know_how_many_calories_are_in_these/
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https://i.redd.it/gzswc3wtd2xz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I have a problem.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 9 19:36:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7byaxy/i_have_a_problem/
---
[deleted]
[Other] My manager told me today she never sees me eat. It made me feel proud and hope that other people see me the same way!
/u/skydiver89 [skinny fat AF at 5'4" and 142 lbs]
Created: Thu Nov 9 19:27:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7by990/my_manager_told_me_today_she_never_sees_me_eat_it/
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So I work at Papa Johns (I know, haha) as a delivery driver and I open with my manager and we usually work together all day until 4 pm. She loves the Philly Cheese steak pizza and makes it all the time. I'm not too fond of it, but I usually work from 10:45 am to 6-8 pm and I'll maybe have one small piece every now and then since I usually only eat breakfast.
Well, today she said "I'm going to make this pizza. Are you going to eat some? I never see you eat. Are you afraid to eat in front of people?"
She never has seen me eat?! What?!?! She's a new manager there and has been there for only a week and makes pizza every single time we work together, but I've only eaten it twice and both times, I was sure she saw me. I always see my other coworkers making pizza and sharing with the group. I never eat what they make. I am kind of sick of Philly Cheese steak pizza...ugh. It's rather gross. I am starting to wonder what my other coworkers think of me....
[Discussion] Does anyone know how many calories are in these?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 9 19:11:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7by66l/does_anyone_know_how_many_calories_are_in_these/
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https://i.redd.it/ugy6fq4042xz.jpg
[Discussion] Binge guilt
/u/serenityswild
Created: Thu Nov 9 19:07:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7by5e7/binge_guilt/
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Just binged and purged for the second time today. Feeling pretty shitty for allowing myself to do that.
Restricting to 600 cals tomorrow.
Any tips on feeling less guilty?
[Tip] PSA: diet cherry pepsi is now w/o aspartame! it tastes so good 😍
/u/skinnynet [5'6" | 148 | 23.8 | -0 | 15F]
Created: Thu Nov 9 18:53:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7by2pj/psa_diet_cherry_pepsi_is_now_wo_aspartame_it/
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https://imgur.com/a/4Gs42
[Thinspo] One of my Fav Thinspos
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 18BMI | -165 | 30F | AU]
Created: Thu Nov 9 18:09:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bxtuh/one_of_my_fav_thinspos/
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https://i.redd.it/l0ah63wts1xz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] College
/u/Fatalope [5'4| CW 150 | GW 104 |HW 168 | 19 F]
Created: Thu Nov 9 17:59:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bxre5/college/
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College has me a whirlwind of emotions, one minute all my friends and I are having a good time chilling and shit, then next thing I know I'm being excluded from all group chats or meet ups, if I run into them they start texting between themselves. No doubt about me. Just sucks.
[Rant/Rave] Non-tape measure self-measuring obsessions?
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 18BMI | -165 | 30F | AU]
Created: Thu Nov 9 17:46:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bxovr/nontape_measure_selfmeasuring_obsessions/
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I wear a watch my husband got me awhile ago. It was always loose, not like super duper loose. I didnt wear it all the time then one day I decided to. And one day I decided to use it to measure the weight loss in my forearm.
I have a lot of tattoos.. I have both arms covered and am working on my legs and this measurement works for me in a weird way that I didnt think of when I pulled the watch down for the first time.
https://imgur.com/9T1pE9K
https://imgur.com/GF6geTT
https://imgur.com/1TzrtXa (loosey goosey if i just have it hanging like a normal watch)
Instead of just measuring how far it goes down my arm, I measure how far it goes down my tattoo. I have visual markings on my body that I can remember, ok, it got to this point of this tattoo a month ago now it gets to here.
anyway I dont want this to feel specific to tattoos I hope thats obvious, but just does anyone do anything like this?
(sidebar: I do use this to tell the time which is sort of funny when i'm out I have to like... shake it really hard out of my sleeve. and in confession because of my forearm i think these obscure my weight loss in photos.. my upper arms look so much thinner in pictures i guess in comparison and if I take a picture with both you can tell, but If I take a picture with just my forearms they look fat and like I havent lost weight)
[Other] How I compromised between equal needs to binge and restrict today 😂😭😂😭
/u/Eau_De_Chloroform
Created: Thu Nov 9 17:46:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bxotf/how_i_compromised_between_equal_needs_to_binge/
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https://imgur.com/Gxcrqeu
[Other] Goodbye for now everyone- Entering an IOP program
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 87.8lbs | BMI 16.06ish | GW: 87lbs | 20F]
Created: Thu Nov 9 17:40:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bxnlp/goodbye_for_now_everyone_entering_an_iop_program/
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Hey guys, just wanted to let y'all know that I'm officially going into recovery.
After a stressful as hell few weeks, lots of tears, and freaking out, I finally got approved to go to an IOP program for eating disorders. Things have been really, really difficult, and I can't say that I'm doing that well so far, but I only have just begun my journey through recovery.
I'll be going to IOP three days a week for three hours at a time. I have to get weekly blood work done because their initial recommendation was for me to enter their PHP program. On top of this, I'm seeing a therapist and a nutritionist weekly.
I'm so nervous and scared and stressed but this is what I need. I'm so sick of living my life solely focusing on food. I just can't do it anymore.
So this is a goodbye for now. I know I can't be on this sub when I'm trying to recover. I love you all endlessly, and I hope every single one of you recovers one day.
Wish me luck!
[Other] DAE misinterpret stoic quotes on purpose so they look like thinspo? (a.k.a. I made some wallpapers today)
/u/silkangels [168 cm | CW:54 kg | GW:45 kg]
Created: Thu Nov 9 16:58:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bxfj8/dae_misinterpret_stoic_quotes_on_purpose_so_they/
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https://imgur.com/a/u7lAS
[Intro] first time posting
/u/yaogauiasaurus
Created: Thu Nov 9 16:53:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bxeih/first_time_posting/
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Hi. I'm new... to Reddit AND this sub.
I just want to say... I'm so hungry... but thinking of food or looking at myself makes me sick.
I hate this.
[Rant/Rave] Who knew watches could look so cute on thin wrists
/u/brita09234890235 [vora: brita | bmi 21.3]
Created: Thu Nov 9 16:46:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bxd42/who_knew_watches_could_look_so_cute_on_thin_wrists/
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I freakin HATEEEE wearing bracelets because they look so weird on my wrist with that wrist bone poking out. and my wrists are kinda... flat? idk how to explain it. But I bought a watch today since I'm hit a new GW today and hooot damn it makes my wrist look even smaller than is, and actually looks good with that dumb bone thing sticking out. I think I found my new obsession, sorry wallet...
[Rant/Rave] Ugh
/u/throwaway002300 [25 | 5'3" | CW 109 | BMI 19.3| GW 103| HW 160]
Created: Thu Nov 9 16:16:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bx6p4/ugh/
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The past 2 weeks I️ have eaten so badly, either eating everything in sight or b/p. I️ wanted to stop being a pig especially this week because I️ have to attend a dinner with my sister in law and her friends tomorrow. I’m so down right now because I️ was at my lowest weight recently and I️ have done nothing but consistently fuck up since then. I️ feel so massive, so fat and like such a failure. Things were going so well; now I’m miserable and it’s all my fault ugh
[Help] Troubles purging toast w/butter
/u/ViscousCerebrum
Created: Thu Nov 9 15:34:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bwwys/troubles_purging_toast_wbutter/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] My body is literally incapable of recovering.
/u/organmay
Created: Thu Nov 9 15:32:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bwwm9/my_body_is_literally_incapable_of_recovering/
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I decided to recover from anorexia and bulimia a month and a half ago, but I was going through it alone. Not this week, but the previous two weeks I binged most days (2,000-4,500 calories about every other day). I usually starve to make up for it, but I decided I'm recovering, I'm already underweight and can gain 5 or so pounds, so I didn't. However this week I decided fuck it, started taking EC (which I have not in a year), and ate 500 calories 3 or so days. I ate at "maintenance" the last two days (which means I overestimate somewhat). I decided to be brave and weigh myself today, as I wanted to know how much I gained since I started binging.
Nothing. I gained nothing. I'm the exact same weight as I was the day before I decided to recover. Out of utter disbelief, I weighed myself in three separate locations in the bathroom. I'm so happy even though I can tell my body is falling apart and my ribs, spine, and collar bones are sticking out. But I'm just motivated to eat even less now.
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo 💎
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | CW:131lbs | GW 125| GW2 115lbs | F]
Created: Thu Nov 9 15:30:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bww41/daily_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/8a0rea3m01xz.jpg
how to prevent hair thinning?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 9 15:28:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bwvmw/how_to_prevent_hair_thinning/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] So frustrated 😭
/u/ThinningEllie [5'4 | 200 | 34.3 | 30lbs | Female]
Created: Thu Nov 9 15:24:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bwul6/so_frustrated/
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[removed]
[Help] Guys what is even going on? Why hasn't this water weight shifted? Am I just impatient?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 9 15:21:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bwtxb/guys_what_is_even_going_on_why_hasnt_this_water/
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[deleted]
I have unlocked a new fat achievement
/u/Raspberry_Pancake [164cm | 74kg | FAT | 5lbs | F]
Created: Thu Nov 9 15:11:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bwrip/i_have_unlocked_a_new_fat_achievement/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Hey you
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 9 15:00:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bwoy0/hey_you/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/ProEDmemes/comments/7bwo0j/hey_you/
[Discussion] What fasting apps do you use?
/u/itscirclejerky [5'6 | CW: repulsive| 20ish ? | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 9 14:03:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bwb6d/what_fasting_apps_do_you_use/
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I'm currently using Vora but I'm looking to change.
I'm looking for something with notifications and have taken a look at Zero but it uses mostly intermittent fasting unless I set a custom fast(?) I'm thinking of intermittent fasting but I'm not sure I want an app that focuses on IF.
So, my question remains; what fasting apps do you use?
[Rant/Rave] Updated my flair so yay me or whatever
/u/Discountmein [5'6" | 148 | 23.9 | 77lbs down | Agender]
Created: Thu Nov 9 13:47:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bw7is/updated_my_flair_so_yay_me_or_whatever/
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I was 220 to 225 (not sure) on January 1st of this year
I'm under 150 (again, not sure) as of today
I should be more excited but I'm just so mediocre
At least y'all will appreciate the change
[Intro] Can never stay away for long...
/u/I_Like_Peaches_
Created: Thu Nov 9 13:37:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bw568/can_never_stay_away_for_long/
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Hi all!
So I've been on and off the ED journey since I was 17-18, though really been much longer than that, as I always used food as a subconscious coping mechanism/control (I just turned 26 now). My longest and 'worst' stint was from 18-21, when I was also a full-time company ballet dancer, in college, etc. Since then I've been more or less in recovery, though have had a few minor relapses, and have always had the mindset...I think only people who have been or are here can relate!
I got married last year, and have been doing quite well. I'm definitely the happiest I've ever been! I also finally retired from dance, which though I miss it, has been freeing and wonderful. I went back to school a year and a half ago (I got my two year degree previously, then danced and taught and worked for a few years-now getting my bachelor's). Anyways. Though my life is wonderful and my husband is the most amazing man in the world, it's been a rough time...we've lost six babies, the most recent just last week. We thought that this baby was safe, and were so happy and excited. It was growing well, had a heartbeat, everything was great for weeks...until his or her heart just stopped. Just between our birthdays. I was about to be able to find out the gender, and tell my husband for his birthday; our families knew, and we were about to formally announce it; it was almost at the point where it was no longer scary to hope or to dream.
I do have other health concerns, and am under the care of a reproductive specialist. My history of ED has no bearing on this, we are sure, and I have no trouble getting pregnant; there are other issues that make carrying a baby difficult. But I can't shake the guilt. The only thing that has kept me from slipping back into my comfortable, comforTING coping mechanism, as each loss upped my guilt and pain and hatred of my stupid body, is the knowledge that I want to be healthy for my future babies. And I don't want to hurt my chances of conceiving and of carrying a baby any further. I also don't want to involve my husband in any sort of crazy (though to be fair, twisted as it sounds, I am very good at regulating my ED and not being too overt...it is very self contained). But this time, I'm slipping. Hard. It doesn't help that I had gained some weight after the combination of quitting dance and getting knocked up 6 times (I'm still at a perfectly low-normal weight, but it's not what I'm used to or like) and know that I could easily lose while still being healthy and not hurting my body. So, it begins. It's also worth noting that it's not the most destructive coping mechanism I've used in the past, and quite honestly, is the best of the worst...I feel like I'm two steps ahead of a mental and emotional breakdown some days. This focuses me and helps keep me sane and helps keep my damn emotions under control and not annoying my husband (or myself).
So, hi. I've been lurking awhile. It's nice to meet all of you! I can't have stats on my username as this account is multipurpose (not tracked though) so here we go:
26F/ 5' 7"
HW 141/LW 108/CW 135
GW 125/UGW 115
Good luck everyone, in everything you're doing! :)
[Rant/Rave] 93 soaking wet!
/u/iamactuallyfood [5'2"| 93lb | 17.01 | -23 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 9 13:27:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bw2qk/93_soaking_wet/
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I am so excited! I haven’t been trying too hard, just meds and stress, and I am down to 93lb hair wet straight out of the shower. Yay!
Also 5’1” but I think I may be 5’2”.
[Other] MyFitnessPal friends?
/u/squishykiss
Created: Thu Nov 9 13:24:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bw1yr/myfitnesspal_friends/
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Hey! I'm looking to add more people who are active on MFP! My username is atlas808, please feel free to add me. 😊
[Rant/Rave] Latte mistake frustration
/u/shceli
Created: Thu Nov 9 12:59:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bvvgi/latte_mistake_frustration/
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I got an almond milk latte today and the barista made it with whole milk. I could tell after taking a small sip. I also specifically asked her if the almond milk had sugar in it and I watched her check and she said no.
Well as she was making the latte again, she left the container on the counter and I looked at the nutrition facts. 8grams of sugar! So irritating. Why lie?
[Other] This tea though
/u/iheartlemons [5'1" | 97.2lb | 18.4BMI | Not Enough | 27F]
Created: Thu Nov 9 12:41:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bvr1a/this_tea_though/
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https://i.redd.it/csopm1wb60xz.jpg
[Discussion] How accurate are restaurants when it comes to calories?
/u/vitalogy95
Created: Thu Nov 9 12:21:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bvm6z/how_accurate_are_restaurants_when_it_comes_to/
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For example, I got a cup of turkey chili at Panera and it said it was only 170 calories. It was extremely hearty and a decent amount. It seemed like there was no way it could only be 170.
[Help] How do I eat like a normal person
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 9 12:18:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bvli3/how_do_i_eat_like_a_normal_person/
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[deleted]
[Other] My favorite artist made a short story they based their persona around and every little thing reminds me painfully of my eating disorder.
/u/skinnysynth [5'3.25" | 113 lbs | 19.9 | -15 lbs | 🤖]
Created: Thu Nov 9 12:16:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bvl1t/my_favorite_artist_made_a_short_story_they_based/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53doSo0t4U8&t=3s
[Rant/Rave] Falling deeper and deeper into my eating disorder
/u/serenityswild
Created: Thu Nov 9 12:02:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bvh61/falling_deeper_and_deeper_into_my_eating_disorder/
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Almost my entire life I have struggled with my body. I've been very openly insecure my entire life. Thankfully as I got older I did thin out a bit although still have never been happy.
Since I moved out for school I've started to lose some weight. Noticing this weight loss has triggered me to starve myself. This becomes extremely difficult when my boyfriend comes to visit me as I think he knows what's going on. I wrote a note in my phone a few weeks ago just letting out some raw feelings and I think he read it. He had been acting a little weird and started making it clear he knew I hadn't eaten yet that day.
But in the past few weeks it has grown so much worse than before. I haven't lost a substantial amount of weight to make it look like I'm sick, and I'm definitely not in danger to myself right now. My mom and I went out for lunch the other day and I burst into tears and confessed to her how horrible I had felt for eating.
I've had a lot of issues with binging in the past, and my boyfriend staying over last night triggered it. I had felt like " well I've already eaten way over my calorie intake for the day, why stop here?" (Eating some left over pasta in the middle of the night) this resulted in me being hungry today but too worried about the extra calories I ate last night. So I got some sushi and I purged.
Feeling sickly satisfied with myself.
[Rant/Rave] DAE freak out when food doesn’t go as planned?
/u/bananahatrr [5'2" | CW: 105lbs | UGW: 95lbs | F]
Created: Thu Nov 9 11:42:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bvbum/dae_freak_out_when_food_doesnt_go_as_planned/
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I planned on getting broccoli soup from Tim Hortons today for lunch (150 cals!) and none of the Tims I went to had it (apparently there was a recall) and I literally had a meltdown. Like crying on my floor like a 4 year old. Over soup. It sounds stupid but my plans for lunch are ruined and so my whole day is ruined. I guess I’m not eating anything for lunch now :( . Does anyone else get upset if things don’t go to plan? Maybe I’m just being dramatic :(
[Discussion] Anyone else unreasonably scared of sabotage when ordering a fountain Diet Coke?
/u/eliottwaisted
Created: Thu Nov 9 11:38:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bvas8/anyone_else_unreasonably_scared_of_sabotage_when/
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I get so anxious that the server secretly switched it to a regular Coke to sabotage me, or that they just made a mistake. I always test it on my hand to see if it dries sticky. A few days ago, I ordered a Diet Coke and the waitress flat out asked if I was on a diet, then shook her head and “tsk, tsk”-ed when I said yes. The thought of drinking that many sugar calories makes me ill.
[Rant/Rave] Grr scales!
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 18BMI | -165 | 30F | AU]
Created: Thu Nov 9 10:55:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7buzpt/grr_scales/
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Woke up routine weigh in; wee new low! I felt like taking a picture
Had to wait like one minute because it’d be weird to jid rum jun run by him lol since my s/o made me. Coffee (which I didn’t drink) so I brushed my teeth, today so Ran upstairs took my watch and plugs/earrings off waited to get on the scale to bust out my camera...
Lo and behold now I’m +1lb than under 5 minuets ago
the efffffff
[Rant/Rave] It took a 1lb weight gain to make me acknowledge my drugs problem. (RANT)
/u/SomeoneCoolerThanYou [5'6" | CW 148.2 | -38.8 lbs | UGW 107 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Nov 9 10:40:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7buw1a/it_took_a_1lb_weight_gain_to_make_me_acknowledge/
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I'm just rambling in the midst of my hangover so feel free to ignore this.
I've been a functional drug user for years now. Nothing crazy, mostly weed. Had my runs with alcohol, synthetic weed (K2), Adderall, opiates, benzos, different nootropics, the works. I'm trying mdma tomorrow. Nonetheless, I always maintained jobs, a 4.0 GPA, and my hobbies for the most part.
It hasn't always been this bad. I never used to get high every day. It was never an escape from my separately miserable mental health, so I was never addicted. I'm not even sure I'm addicted per say now. It's just become worrisome.
For the past three weeks, I've either been high or drunk for all of it but one day. I've gotten all my school shit done and been fine and sober at work, but I am a mess mentally. I don't feel present anywhere, my suicidal tendencies are on a new level and I can't justify living anymore beyond drugs, music, and movies.
The worst part of it? I binge eat. I've probably average 2500 calories at least every day. Amazingly I've only gone up a pound, but God... I can't stop crying. I was four pounds from my lowest weight in five years, and I'm breaking.
I don't know what to do. I'll never get a break from my anxiety if I stop. I'll be thin, but I'll never feel it. I'll never see it. I can only see it when I've been bingeing. I can see myself ruining it. But what's being ruined if I don't know what I have when I have it? When I'm walking around terrified, hopeless, and in pain everywhere I go?
I just want to die.
[Rant/Rave] Bad scale, my numbers are ALL WRONG :(
/u/littleloaudio [5'1" | CW 138 | GW 110 | -12 | 21f]
Created: Thu Nov 9 10:33:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7buuej/bad_scale_my_numbers_are_all_wrong/
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After using the same scale for a year now, I stepped on my roommates BRAND NEW one and got a reading FIVE POUNDS above what my older one was saying.
I'm freaking out. I didn't believe it, but I weighed myself on my mom's scale and it agreed with my roommates. Here I was thinking I made progress, but nope. I've gained weight. I've been lying to myself. I even ate SNACKS outside my meal plan. UGH,
Looks like I have to really start heavily restricting. There's no way all five pounds of that is water weight from PMS.
[Rant/Rave] What a fucking scam
/u/mintslut
Created: Thu Nov 9 10:31:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7butve/what_a_fucking_scam/
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https://i.imgur.com/EVa9gEB.jpg
[Other] Dinner
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 9 10:31:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7butss/dinner/
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https://i.imgur.com/OiQWUMq.jpg
[Discussion] Those of you who have cycled through various forms of ED's, have you been able to pinpoint the reason?
/u/deadlylikesugar
Created: Thu Nov 9 10:31:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7butrg/those_of_you_who_have_cycled_through_various/
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**Obligatory "first post" intro to begin**: Hi everyone! Like many others, I've been reading here for quite some time, feeling tons of feels with you all, but this is my first post.
To give a little background for anyone who cares to read - I have had an unhealthy relationship with food for as long as I can remember. In fact, I can't even remember what it's like to have a healthy relationship with food. In high school, I hit a pretty dark period of restriction (I say restriction, because it had elements of anorexia, bulimia, and orthorexia combined, so basically EDNOS). I would restrict all day long at school, only eat very "healthy" safe foods for dinner, lots and lots of chew and spit, and an embarrassing amount of laxative abuse. I have somehow blocked out a lot of this portion of my life, so I can't remember exactly how I was feeling at the time or how/why exactly I got into such a dark place.
After about a year and a half of this extreme behavior, I felt like a switch flipped in my brain and I rebounded, hard. I just began to binge...like crazy. At first, I would try to combat the binges with purging, but was never able to get it up. I, again, resorted to laxatives, but after a terrible experience with them due to heavy abuse (TMI: shitting blood, violent vomiting, shivers while dripping sweat, fading in and out of consciousness), I was (surprisingly) happy to have made it through the ordeal and come out alive, and without anyone knowing. I threw the rest of the laxatives away and never looked back. BUT, entered into complete, full on, horrible BED. I put on 40lb's and I was so, so embarrassed.
The period of BED lasted about 5 years. I would go through (sometimes long) periods of time when I thought I had it under control, or was "recovered" with the help of vyvanse. But my relationship with food remained unhealthy. My weight would fluctuate, but after losing ~20lb's from the initial weight gain, I would stay hovering around that weight. Even when the BED wasn't at it's worst, I would still binge from time to time.
Recently, I have been under immense stress, anxiety and very bad depression. I think that because of these, and several other factors, I have gradually resorted back to my old ways of heavy restriction. Even if I were to have a binge now, I wouldn't consider myself back to being in my BED phase, because my mindset is just....completely different. I am honestly, extremely happy that this has happened. I feel like, no matter what I do, I'm always going to have an unhealthy relationship with food, and I would WAY rather have "issues" with restricting and losing than uncontrollable binging and gaining.
**Anyway, to get to the main point of this post,** I have seen that a good amount of posters on here, like me, have also had their ED's shift into different forms over time. I would love to hear your stories and experiences of going through the changes, and if any of you have been able to pinpoint a reason as to *why* your ED changed?
P.S. Sorry for my longwinded intro! Sometimes it feels good to talk about my experiences (as I don't really have anyone to share with) and I get carried away...haha. Thank you so much to anyone who took the time to read. ❤️
[Help] First time fasting. Helpppp
/u/fieryanxiety
Created: Thu Nov 9 10:03:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bumme/first_time_fasting_helpppp/
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So I'm on hour 18 of my first attempt at fasting. It's super hard to override your natural instinct to eat when you're hungry especially when binging and purging is my normal go to. It's been coffee, nicotine, water repeat. Still struggling though. My boss just handed me a pita chip which I usually love and then he stood there for a second so I chomped it and then the second he turned away I spit it into my hand like a crazy person lol any tips or words of encouragement?? I could use it.
[Thinspo] Legs 😍
/u/squishykiss
Created: Thu Nov 9 09:53:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7buka1/legs/
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https://i.redd.it/z8uf6wphczwz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] my time in "treatment" has ended after two months because i couldn't stabilise on my own with no psych support
/u/pleasureheads [who knows anymore]
Created: Thu Nov 9 09:51:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bujpl/my_time_in_treatment_has_ended_after_two_months/
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two months and five appointments, i think. all that happened in any of them was i was told to eat more and purge less. obviously i didn't go home and do any of that because why would i feel any desire to? i asked finally if they're going to offer psychological support at any point and they said i don't get that until i've weight restored on my own because... until then i won't be "cognitively functioning" enough to engage with it. i'm too stupid to talk, i guess.
so i'm supposed to stabilise my weight and diet all on my own just from being told to before i can have therapy. i basically have to recover before i can talk about why i even have anorexia and how i feel about myself and why i find it so impossible to stop. they said if i can't do it on my own then i need to be treated like a moody, fussy child - the nurse even tried to compare me to her two year old grandchild - and my mum needs to stop working, become my full-time carer, take all choice away from me and spend all day forcing food on me until i give in and eat it and get fat and then my brain is "better" i guess, as though i won't have some kind of breakdown from that, as though she would ever want to do that, as though she would ever be equipped to do that - what's the point of the nurses i'm seeing if they're asking my recovery to be done entirely at home? they called it refeeding. isn't that a delicate, dangerous process? why am i meant to do it unsupervised? my mother was fucking horrified. all of this really sunk in for her at some point in this process. she cried on the way home and told me she knew if i could get better on my own i would have done it already.
either way, i said i can't, and it's done now. i don't get psychological support til i gain weight and and i said to them i can't do that without psychological support, and apparently that means they can't work with me and now i'm alone.
i really wanted to give this an honest try. i don't know what to do now. the nhs is a fucking joke. sorry this post is long. *also there were a lot of typos in it at first. oops.
[Goal] Lose 10lbs/my response to stress
/u/sourcandylightening [BMI 16.7]
Created: Thu Nov 9 09:42:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7buhh1/lose_10lbsmy_response_to_stress/
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Hi guys! I’m trying to lose another 10lbs. It’s just so comforting to have control over something when everything else feels like it is falling apart. Anyone else have that response?
Love you all.
[Other] Unintentional Liquid Fast
/u/iswearimalady [5'8" | 183.8 | 27.64 | -63# | F]
Created: Thu Nov 9 09:30:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7buelj/unintentional_liquid_fast/
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The other day I had a panic attack so bad I ended up in the ER, but I'm trying to see the bright side of things. 3 days later and I am still unable to eat solid foods due to pains in my chest when I swallow, so I get to liquid fast without even wanting to. After months of extreme depression and binge eating it's a great way to get back on the wagon. Woohoo I guess...
[Goal] GUESS WHOS 120 LBS NOW
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | 120.3 | 19.4 | 13.4kg | 27.7-]
Created: Thu Nov 9 09:18:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bubu7/guess_whos_120_lbs_now/
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IMMA GIVE YOU A HINT
IT ME
SO CLOSE TO THE 110S I CANT BLOODY BREATHE 120.3 HERE WE GO HERE WE MOTHERFUCKING GO DROP THE FUCKING BEAT
[Rant/Rave] how the FUCK
/u/library-cat [5'6"| gross| GW??? | 21F]
Created: Thu Nov 9 09:08:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bu9bk/how_the_fuck/
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I've been caught in a really bad binge/restrict cycle the past few months, and it's hell. It honestly feels like my binges outweigh (lol) the good days. I go to bed disgusted with myself, head pounding, vowing to do better. The past two weeks have been especially bad - my birthday rolled around so you bet your ass I binged on burgers, beer, and birthday cake. I went hiking with my boyfriend last weekend and when I looked at some of the pictures we took I wanted to cry. My face looked piggy and bloated af. I honestly suspected I had gained somewhere in the realm of 20-25 pounds since late summer but I was too scared to confirm it
BUT today I weighed myself for the first time in over a month. and somehow I am EXACTLY THE SAME FUCKING WEIGHT as I was in September. I haven't gained at all. So why do I feel like a the Michelin man??? what the fuck is wrong with me? I FEEL the extra fat on my face, below my chin, my belly feels heavier and my thighs look miles wide. I can't decide if I'm upset or delighted that I haven't gained because either way I still feel like shit.
As a result part of me is starting to doubt my own perception of portions/what a "binge" is. Last night for dinner I had a massive bowl of pasta with pesto, veggies, and some seasoned chicken. It FELT like a binge. But thinking about it now, is my perception of normal portions so warped that a hearty meal is a binge in my mind??? Even when I was home and eating in front of my parents they didn't bat an eye at how much I was shoveling in. Gah! Have I been eating normally this whole time and just beating myself up for it? Who fucking knows! Either way, I'm fasting today. I need a reset.
[Other] Any other former/current binge eaters that feel like they'd be bulimic if it weren't for emetophobia?
/u/jjfmish [5'6 | HW:163lbs CW:147lbs GW:120lbs | 19/F]
Created: Thu Nov 9 08:46:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bu3vh/any_other_formercurrent_binge_eaters_that_feel/
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I'm pretty deep in a restriction cycle rn, but when I'm binging I always think about how badly I wish I could just throw up. I have a phobia of vomit and not much of a gag reflex so I've never even tried. I know purging is awful, so maybe the fact that I can't do it is a blessing in disguise. Now I can just make up for my binges by not eating ❤️
10 hours into a long af fast
/u/That_1bitch
Created: Thu Nov 9 08:35:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bu1c6/10_hours_into_a_long_af_fast/
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[removed]
[Help] Binge on vegtables
/u/randomsombanana
Created: Thu Nov 9 08:24:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7btys4/binge_on_vegtables/
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Is binging on vegtables still binging? They have so little calories and the body even burns off a lot of them by digesting them, so is it still binging? I'm just being confused and upset.
[Rant/Rave] "Every time I see you you're eating something"
/u/skinnysynth [5'3.25" | 113 lbs | 19.9 | -15 lbs | 🤖]
Created: Thu Nov 9 07:46:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7btpx8/every_time_i_see_you_youre_eating_something/
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I heard this comment from a coworker back in 2015. This was about a year out of recovery and I ate a lot of intermittant small meals because I worked 2 jobs (academic-type) and attended school full time, so I was busy, but I also knew that I needed to eat. She also gave me a look of somewhat disgust. I weighed about 119 lbs at 5'3" here, so I was relatively normal-to-small.
I'm surprised I didn't relapse sooner. I have a deep-set fear that every time I eat around people they think "Of course the fat girl is eating again" and that they'll use it against me, or they think low of me by first impressions.
I'm trying to recover. I really am. But I stepped on the scale after 2 weeks of recovery work and I still maintained 113 and my first thought was "good, no damage was done. Time to get back to work"
So I guess I'm back.
[Help] I think my boyfriend is going to break up with me
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 9 06:33:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7btb89/i_think_my_boyfriend_is_going_to_break_up_with_me/
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[deleted]
[Help] In an infuriating situation any input would be nice
/u/AnonymousFugget
Created: Thu Nov 9 06:17:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bt8d1/in_an_infuriating_situation_any_input_would_be/
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I got private Heath cover because I've been in and out of public ed programs and I get treated poorly and abused by staff and end up coming home a lot sicker. So now I'm eligible for private ed programs, but they won't take me at my bmi being so low. And I can't get it up on my own. If I could I wouldn't need help. All I've done is lost weight and become more distant, stopped leaving the house and even lie about supplements I'm taking and eating to my mum and doctor.
I feel like, no one is going to help me. So there is no point anymore. My kidneys and liver are already borderline failing. So if paying extra for private hospital specialists only to be told I'm too sick.
I think it's just time to throw my hands up and say yup, okay ed you win.
-edit just a little more icing on the cake of the fucked up situation I call life.
My family have decided they know what's best for me, and all hate me now because I was rejected from private treatment- and assumed I wasn't trying hard enough. And now go to my doctor behind my back to try and get me into forced treatment, when I've already agreed with my doctor to, but it's the treatment centres that keep turning me away, I can't do anything, but my family keeps getting irate at me and asking me why I'm not in treatment yet, and when they aren't doing that they are going behind my back trying to get my sectioned and forced into a treatment centre that won't accept me.
I just can't win.
The only winner here is the the that's been controlling my life all these years. And I'm already to weak to fight anymore.
[Rant/Rave] Anyone else pass up potential lovers because of their ED?
/u/coffeepaysthebills
Created: Thu Nov 9 06:14:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bt7rm/anyone_else_pass_up_potential_lovers_because_of/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I tried to binge last night and my body wouldn't let me!
/u/abbymakeup [5'1.5" | 122.6 | too high | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 9 06:10:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bt738/i_tried_to_binge_last_night_and_my_body_wouldnt/
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So I had already eaten 1200 calories yesterday and was getting ready to start my fast tracker (I like to fast at least 16 hours a day). My boyfriend said he was going out to get food, and idk why but something clicked in my head and I asked him to get me a quarter pounder meal at McDonald's. He came home with the food and a bunch of groceries that I put away first. The whole time I was putting the groceries away all I could think was that I'm about to push my calories over 2000.
I was so mad at myself because I've been stuck fluctuating between 122.4 and 123.0 for two weeks now for various reasons that I don't feel the need to beat myself up for. I was finally going to try to get myself back on track yesterday and eat 1200 calories the next couple days and then slowly start to restrict again to make it easier on myself. Anyway idk why but my brain just shut me out and took over and was so ready to binge and I was just sitting there in my own head feeling out of control and angry.
Well after I put the groceries away I brought my McDonald's to my desk and pulled out the burger and I took 2 small bites of it and I just started to feel nauseous. I put the burger away and pulled out the fries and even the fries made me not feel well.
Guys my body didn't let me binge on that McDonald's! So I was forced to put it into the fridge, but honestly McDonald's is so gross after you put it in the fridge so I probably won't even end up eating it. I feel bad that my boyfriend bought me this food (And they raised the prices since I worked there WTF?!?) but I'm so happy that I was able to steer away from a binge!
[Discussion] Long term effects of ephedrine?
/u/holloday [5'7" | 116 | 18.4 | -13 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 9 06:07:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bt6ew/long_term_effects_of_ephedrine/
---
Has any research been done on using ephedrine long term? I’ve taken two broncaid tablets and an energy drink almost every day for about a year. Curious what kind of damage I might be doing, if any.
[Discussion] DAE keep food inventories?
/u/ApricotJam90
Created: Thu Nov 9 05:59:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bt4uz/dae_keep_food_inventories/
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I don't know if this is an ED thing or if I'm just weird, but I was getting a bit worried that people would notice how frequently I just take some of my food out of the fridge/freezer/cupboard, read the nutrition info and put it back. I used to do this a lot to plan meals etc, but I'm currently living with my boyfriend and family and there is ALWAYS people around.
So now when I do my food shopping, I make an inventory of all the food I have on a notepad on my phone, complete with calories and basic nutritional info. Whenever I use something, I just remove it from my inventory... I think it looks less suspicious looking at your phone than studying food packets multiple times a day!
[Help] Getting really physically uncomfortable as weight lowers?
/u/whatsupbuttercup5 [5'3" | CW 101.0 | GW 92 | HW 124 | LW 98 | 25F]
Created: Thu Nov 9 05:53:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bt3wp/getting_really_physically_uncomfortable_as_weight/
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Hi all! So as my weight has been lowering obviously the fatty cushion has been coming off. It's been getting progressively more painful to sit because my bone digs in to the seat. Now my lower back has been hurting because my lower vertebrae have been sticking out and hitting things. I found a huge bruise on the back of my thigh the other day and I'm pretty sure it's just from sitting.
Does anyone have any advice for how to deal with this without my classmates thinking I'm crazy? I sit in class with the same people ~30-40 hrs per week.
[Help] How to get over this plateau?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 9 05:31:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bt0af/how_to_get_over_this_plateau/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bt0af/how_to_get_over_this_plateau/
[Help] MyFitnessPal question
/u/plantheadkade
Created: Thu Nov 9 05:16:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bsxqq/myfitnesspal_question/
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How much does the sedentary setting add on step wise? Is it assuming I already walked 2000 steps? It's making me anxious cause that could be 50-200 cals off.
[Intro] Introduction
/u/conormangan [6'1.5 | 200 | BMI 26.05 | -17 | LW 122 | GW 140 | UGW 110 | 18 M]
Created: Thu Nov 9 05:13:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bsx8j/introduction/
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Hello! :) I've been lurking for a little while/commenting on posts occasionally and felt like I should introduce myself. I've been more or less of a disordered eater for as long as I can remember, but it started getting worse when I joined myfitnesspal in January of 2012. I lost 40 pounds in about 4 months, and after that it basically all went downhill. I gained about twenty pounds back that summer, since I was seeing it more as a diet at that time instead of a lifestyle change. I lost back the weight I had gained and then decided I wanted to try to maintain my weight. That didn't work. I gained about 55 pounds over the course of the next year, putting me at a new highest weight. That was when my eating disorder got to be at its worst; I lost about 65 pounds over the course of the next year, putting me at 122 pounds on my 6'1 frame (BMI: 16.1). I was genuinely miserable at that point; I had pushed all of my friends away, was always cold, always fixating on food and exercise, etc. I wanted to try to recover again. I gained 30 pounds somehow in a very short period of time and I was so upset with what I looked like. I lost 10/15 pounds over the next few months. I was finally happy when I was 140 pounds; I was thin, but not too thin. But, of course, I managed to mess this up too :-) This was the fall of 2015. I got to about 175 pounds by the end of the summer of 2016, which I thought was so so fat, but I wish I was that weight now; looking at pictures from then, I was still an average weight. Fast forward to winter 2017 and I'm up to 220 pounds. I decided to lose weight again and lost 20 pounds this spring. But, alas, I gained it all back during this summer. Now I'm back at it and have lost 17 pounds since starting in August, putting me at 200 pounds. Baby steps, but I still have a long ways to go to get back to where I was.
Thanks for reading :)
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support November 09, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Nov 9 05:11:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bswxv/weekly_emotional_support_november_09_2017/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 09, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Nov 9 05:10:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bswqz/daily_food_diary_november_09_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 09, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
Fasted tuesday so didn't count calories yesterday
/u/vctrlcs [5'6" | CW: 155.8 | GW: 130 | UGW: 115 | BMI: 25.1 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 9 04:46:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bst3h/fasted_tuesday_so_didnt_count_calories_yesterday/
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[removed]
[Help] Potluck problems
/u/ohwellolivia
Created: Thu Nov 9 04:34:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bsrcd/potluck_problems/
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So I’m going to a potluck dinner and I agreed to make soup (literally the safest thing in the world to me). I’m going to be coming off of a fast for it. Which sounds better/would take better after a fast?
Chicken soup (no noodles)
Or
Creamy broccoli cauliflower soup (“cream” is 1/2 cup of almond milk for the whole pot)
Thanks!
[Discussion] When do you feel guilty for eating?
/u/thinismygame [5'6.5" | 125 | 22F]
Created: Thu Nov 9 04:22:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bspmh/when_do_you_feel_guilty_for_eating/
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I used to only feel guilty for eating *over* my calorie goal. I used to be happiest when I was 50 calories under, but as long as I was 10 calories under, I was fine. However, lately I'm feeling guilty for *every* calorie. I know that I need it because I'm in law school, so maybe the increase is what's getting to me. I went to 1200 but dropped down to 800 and feel guilty for all 780 calories I've been eating. Mentally, I'm happiest at 500 so maybe that's it [cannot waiiiiit for break].
Anyway, I was just wondering if you all have a certain "sweet spot" with calories that make you feel okay, and what the line is before the guilt comes in (if at all!).
[Thinspo] I've been on a three day binge. This song can help get me in line.
/u/IttyBittyBatty [5'5"| -14.2lb | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 9 03:53:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bslnv/ive_been_on_a_three_day_binge_this_song_can_help/
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https://youtu.be/UYsNas6TS5c
[Rant/Rave] Triggered by accidental weight loss
/u/peace-and-bong-life
Created: Thu Nov 9 03:08:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bsfl6/triggered_by_accidental_weight_loss/
---
Hey, just wanted to post this somewhere with no judgment. It's more a rant than anything.
So about six weeks ago I was ill for a week or so and struggled to eat, and ever since I've been struggling to eat in general. I don't have scales in my own home, but I weighed myself a couple of months ago at my parents' house and then again about a week ago... I've lost more than 4 kilos! It's not a huge amount and I'm not underweight yet, but it's starting to trigger old thoughts (I've been mostly recovered for years now). It feels good to lose weight. It feels good that I've lost inches off my waist. It's so tempting to set myself goals and watch the pounds/inches drop.
I guess I should mention that I recently broke up with my partner and have loads going on in my life - I'm a single parent, working on my PhD and working a couple of part-time jobs. I have quite severe anxiety. The frustrating thing is I *know* where this leads and how it ends, but it can be really hard to combat the thoughts. I absolutely do not want to relapse but this is hard.
[Discussion] DAE deal with additional issues like dermatillomania (skin picking) or trichotillomania (hair pulling)?
/u/krombopuloskayla
Created: Thu Nov 9 03:07:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bsfes/dae_deal_with_additional_issues_like/
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I've done both for years and have scars on my arms, legs, and back (luckily not face somehow? But my mom works in makeup so I have good skincare products) and frequently pull out my eyebrows so they're either super misshapen or half there or sometimes completely gone. I've noticed it gets worse when I get anxious or feel even worse about myself than normal (which is difficult) or if I eat more than I should.
I feel like I have uncontrollable impulses to find any and every imperfection on my body, even if they're made up, and dig, scratch, pick, and pull at them until things are WAY worse than had I just left myself alone.
Does anyone else have experience with this and if so any advice on how to control those urges and stop? It's devastating imagining myself at my UGW but with ugly skin from where I've destroyed it and no eyebrows.
[Tip] if you're hungry, imagine the food you're eating spread all over your body like another layer of fat
/u/bswifey
Created: Thu Nov 9 02:24:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bs9y8/if_youre_hungry_imagine_the_food_youre_eating/
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[removed]
[Discussion] anyone else's ED made them psychotic??
/u/ceillman [5'6 | CW:125 | 19.6 | GW:116 | -15.4]
Created: Thu Nov 9 01:45:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bs53f/anyone_elses_ed_made_them_psychotic/
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Anything social and food related drives me to a mental breakdown. If someone offers me any type of food I think "they must know about my ED and they're trying to fatten me up", I can't eat in front of someone thats not eating because I think they'll think I'm a joke. I hate going grocery shopping because I walk around for an hour with an empty basket thinking everyone's talking about how weird I am.....and don't even get me started about food or diet-related conversation, I'm pretty sure I just go completely blank and mute lol I don't even remember how it was to be "healthy" 🙄
Forced to eat today and I feel absolutely horrible now.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 9 00:38:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7brwav/forced_to_eat_today_and_i_feel_absolutely/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7brwav/forced_to_eat_today_and_i_feel_absolutely/
[Rant/Rave] I got accused of romanticising EDs
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 111 | GW: 105 | M/15]
Created: Thu Nov 9 00:24:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bruau/i_got_accused_of_romanticising_eds/
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Recently I was in a discord server and I mentioned that I have an ED because we were talking about calories, cue everyone rushing to tell me how unhealthy it is and how I should just eat a sandwich because I obviously haven't heard this shit from anyone else and words over the internet are going to cure my eating disorder. Eventually someone says they also had an ED and tells me it's not glamorous and idk why but I just got so fucking upset, like I literally chew food and spit out into the toilet to avoid taking in all 90 calories, I think I know it's not fucking glamorous. I got happy when they said they had an ED cause maybe they would understand then my hope was ruined
[Rant/Rave] The day I wore my friend's (too small) clothes
/u/flightlesspotato [5'5 | CW: 123 | 20.3]
Created: Thu Nov 9 00:06:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7brroy/the_day_i_wore_my_friends_too_small_clothes/
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Just the other day I was asked to model for my friend who had to complete an assignment. I didn't want to do it at first but she had no one else to ask and I decided to suck it up for once and be a good friend.
So during the shoot she brought some of her clothes for me to wear. One of them was this pair of white pants, which I was extremely worried about. I had told her that I probably wouldn't be able to fit, considering that I am about 5'5 and huge, and she's 5'3 and smaller than me. She had assured me that it would be fine cause the pants were big on her and because I am "so skinny now".
The moment to wear those pants rolled around and lo and behold, they were so tight. I could zip them up but damn were they tight. It was so awkward telling her that they were tight I wanted to die out of embarrassment. As if it wasn't bad enough that I'm fat as hell, but I also had to admit to her that I'm bigger than she thought. It happened a month ago but I still think about it so often I wish I had never done it.
[Help] How to be healthy?
/u/IWillNotHealYou [5'10"|-104.4|CW:274.4|HW:378.8|F]
Created: Thu Nov 9 00:02:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7brr4n/how_to_be_healthy/
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I haven't posted here in a while. I'm usually pretty active on the daily diary post and always post the new next month goals. I've been limiting my posting because I'm wondering if I should be getting better?
The idea terrifies me. I'm not underweight or even at average weight, so of course I still want to keep losing weight. Just maybe in a healthy way. Where I can believe in CICO and believe that when I exercise that I am burning calories. I'm just really scared guys.
Every time I've relapsed it has been because I started to diet. I would start with good intentions. "I'm going to exercise and cut down on my eating, log and weigh everything and lose weight!". Then a little bit later I'll decide, I don't really NEED to be eating x amount of calories that MFP says to eat to lose 2 lbs a week, I can cut that down. Then cut it down more. Then exercise more. Then I'm at sub 1000 calories a day and exercising for over 2 and a half hours everyday, wondering why I'm so tired all the time and why people keep telling me I'm disappearing, because CAN'T THEY SEE I'M STILL FAT?
I posted about this before but the most I lost in the shortest amount of time was my first relapse in 2015. I went from 378.8 on January 1st to 307.4 on May 23rd. My doctor was suspicious about how I had lost so much weight since he'd last seen me, and the lowest I got was 284 on September 6th. Then I stopped counting calories and gained almost all of my weight back by January 5th 2017, 368.3. I didn't really start dieting again until April 1st at 359.2. By July 14th I was at 287.4. Again it was just dieting but then started getting to where I'd cut out x amount of calories everyday and exercise more and more. Looking back at all this km disgusted with myself that I've barely made any change since July. The lowest I've gotten was 271.4 and that was October 24th.
I don't know what the purpose of this post is anymore. I just, I don't know. I want to keep losing weight but I don't want to yo-yo and decide that I'm not doing well enough and end up purging or restricting. I want to lose weight like a normal dieting person. I don't know what to do guys. Everytime I've started has been with good intentions and I just don't know what to do. It's made even more difficult by my SO living with me due to his extreme physique. He's pretty underweight so I've been trying to remind him to eat, but how can I diet when I'm telling him to eat more? I don't know. I feel like I'll be back here again, but I wish I could fix this broken, fucked up part inside of my head that keeps saying I'm not good enough.
[Rant/Rave] I don't even feel human anymore.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 8 23:54:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7brptr/i_dont_even_feel_human_anymore/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Food tracker recommendation!
/u/lemondropsicle
Created: Wed Nov 8 23:46:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7broqv/food_tracker_recommendation/
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I’ve been using the app YouAte for about 3 weeks and it’s the best thing ever!!! You just take pictures of your meals and it’s nice to get a visual :) you can add friends too!!
Just thought maybe someone will enjoy this as well :)
[Rant/Rave] Recovery week 3 (I think)
/u/onlysaysNOO [5'3 | CW ??| BMI 15.?|F]
Created: Wed Nov 8 23:20:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7brkni/recovery_week_3_i_think/
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I've begun to lose count of how long it's been exactly. I've deleted all my counting apps and things like that. Except peach but I rarely post and if I do it's pretty much just memes and stuff like this, updates about how things are going. I think I'm finally starting to mush a little bit of the dysmorphia out of my brain, but it remains.
I've been mostly sedentary and eating well above my tdee to gain weight so I can later go and start working out again and start an actually healthy lifestyle. I can't say I'm happy yet because I'm incredibly stressed and have other health problems that are still prevalent and getting me down like crazy, but I'm not thinking so much about food and I'm having a way easier time enjoying what I eat and feeling better and not so goddamn pained and tired and weak and pathetic. I feel almost... alive again, as tacky as that is.
And it's not like I've gained a crazy amount or anything. I wouldn't even say more than 8 lbs but that would put me back in or around the 90s at least. I feel better. Mentally I'm stressed af about school but food isn't the ONLY thing on my mind anymore. It's a huge relief. Like a massive weight has been lifted, and that weight was my inner self telling me I'm fat.
Im not fat by any stretch but I'm also not where I want my body to be.
I've got squishy parts and soft bits, and my thigh gap is a bit smaller. But hey. I'm not dying anymore. My heart isn't slow as hell and skipping beats. I can think. I can breathe. So when I'm a bit better mentally I'll begin workouts again. HEALTHY EATING AND WORKOUTS. and I'll shape my body how I want, but according to what my body needs, not what a disease wants.
Thanks for letting me rant babes.
Much love.
[Discussion] New tastebuds?
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | 120.3 | 19.4 | 13.4kg | 27.7-]
Created: Wed Nov 8 22:56:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7brgpw/new_tastebuds/
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So when I was hardcore into my restriction cycle, I'd attempt to eat foods that I didn't like in order to stop myself from eating. Results? I really fucking love tofu and almonds now, A year ago, I absolutely despised them. Same with rye bread, spinach, olives etc. Has anyone experienced your body getting used to a 'bad' food and liking it?
(It's important to mention that the exact opposite happened when I forced myself to eat unripe and rotten avocados. I can't even look at those things without gagging now. Thanks ED! /s
[Help] restricted all day, got so nauseous i puked?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 8 22:06:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7br8bv/restricted_all_day_got_so_nauseous_i_puked/
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[deleted]
[Intro] self-introduction, nice to meet you all
/u/lemonsubmarine [5'3" | CW 118 | GW 110 | UGW ??]
Created: Wed Nov 8 22:05:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7br87i/selfintroduction_nice_to_meet_you_all/
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i'm 22 years old and first started struggling with my body issues around 5 years ago, when i was diagnosed with anorexia for the first time. i suppose i "recovered" about a year after the first instance, but for some reason my anxieties and insecurities always ramp up around this time of year. a month or so ago i woke up and found i couldn't recognize myself in the mirror anymore. i have absolutely no idea what other people think i look like, because all i see in the mirror is a monster.
anyways, i'm here because it is an absolute relief and comfort to know that there are people out there who fucking get it. not just in a sympathetic "oh that must be so hard" way, but people who go through the same cycles of thought and panic and perseverance every day. i really hope we'll be able to support and understand one another, and i'm really grateful this place exists.
[Help] Drank coffee after EC stack, am I gonna die
/u/TSputnik [5'3" | CW 130 | HW 210 | UGW 100]
Created: Wed Nov 8 21:36:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7br361/drank_coffee_after_ec_stack_am_i_gonna_die/
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It wasn't even a full cup, like half of a small 8 oz mug, and it was at least 3 hours after I took the stack but I'm paranoid now because I feel QUITE UNCOMFORTABLE
Can't stop fidgeting, heart beating faster than normal, I feel hot, adlkafjds.f
Sorry if I seem like I"m being dramatic, I can be a huge hypochondriac sometimes and I just need reassurance that I'm defintiely not in danger of dying so I don't have a panic attack aaaaa
maybe I already am having one and that's why I'm fidgety? life is hard but I appreciate this sub thanks in advance
[Help] Heart feels weird
/u/nycthrowaway51 [5' 3" | CW: 93.5 | BMI: 16.6 | GW: 89]
Created: Wed Nov 8 21:31:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7br28r/heart_feels_weird/
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So my heart has felt weird this entire day. It feels like a sharp ache, and even though it's weak, it's kinda freaking me out. It seemed to be especially noticable when I breathed in sharply or quickly got up. I think there are several possible causes for it, including my recent lack of sleep, drinking more coffee than usual, and restricting. Though I know no one can diagnose what exactly it is, has anyone else experienced something similar to this? Should I be worried?
[Help] why is this happening??? please help did i gain
/u/Imberryhigh
Created: Wed Nov 8 21:29:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7br1u0/why_is_this_happening_please_help_did_i_gain/
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wondering if its water weight or not. the other day i weighed myself and i was 41 kg and i hadnt eaten at all, the next day i had one biggish meal for the day which mustve been 700 calories tops. then next day i dont eat at all and then i weigh myself in the morning today and it says im 42kg. my thighs also look a big thicker (because i usually have a tiny tiny gap but sometimes when i gain weight my thighs touch slightly and they were touching and the scale said i had gained. is it possible for water weight to go in the thighs?) i didnt really gain did i im panicking and feel like absolute shit because of this. i also ate today but only some pancakes and chicken nuggets i wouldnt gain off that
[Rant/Rave] Ha fuck my life
/u/SavingPrivateSnuffy
Created: Wed Nov 8 20:49:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bqubx/ha_fuck_my_life/
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[removed]
[Goal] New to ProED
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 8 20:43:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bqt18/new_to_proed/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bqt18/new_to_proed/
[Help] Fasting and donating plasma
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Wed Nov 8 20:26:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bqpyn/fasting_and_donating_plasma/
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Most days I only do 24 hour fast and I feel ok donating during a fast, but I am coming up on 48 hours now (my longest, yay) and of all goes well I will be like 60ish hours fasted, maybe more when I go to donate tomorrow. Does anyone do this? I feel fine but I am worried about getting sick or passing out.
I’m on mobile so can someone add a discussion/help flair 😊
[Help] help me figure out a way to eat safely post-restriction with adderall
/u/LOdowwnlorettabrown
Created: Wed Nov 8 20:22:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bqp4u/help_me_figure_out_a_way_to_eat_safely/
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[removed]
[Help] Help, but calves are almost as thick as my thighs?!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 8 20:16:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bqnzr/help_but_calves_are_almost_as_thick_as_my_thighs/
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[deleted]
[Other] thought I gained 8lbs, only gained 1.5lbs. mini victories!
/u/cloudsofdawn [169cm - 5'6.5' | CW: 119.9lbs | 19.1 BMI | -23lbs | F]
Created: Wed Nov 8 20:16:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bqnuq/thought_i_gained_8lbs_only_gained_15lbs_mini/
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October was a really rough month for me. I was sick for most of the month and suffering from chronic pain issues, and my emotional support cat died. Due to all of this, I was eating quite a bit everyday. Anything I wanted. I was sure I had to have gone up to around 125lbs, at least 123lbs. I’ve been afraid to get on the scale.
This morning I forced myself to get on the scale, and I weighed in at 118.8lbs. I’m only up 1.5lbs.
I feel so relieved but also kinda like WTF?! I look huge.
[Goal] I undid getting to my goal weight and now I feel worthless.
/u/littleflaca
Created: Wed Nov 8 20:14:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bqni8/i_undid_getting_to_my_goal_weight_and_now_i_feel/
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Long time lurker.
I had been going to the gym for 30m, three times a week for two weeks and dropped 7 lbs.
I got stupid high and lost my shit on Halloween and ate like 3 lbs of candy. I gained six lbs back.
I'm just so annoyed with myself, and I feel like if I didn't lose control I'd be beautiful again. I just feel like such a waste right now. Sorry for complaining. I just needed to vent about this and I feel so miserable and alone.
My friends know but..
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 8 19:49:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bqil8/my_friends_know_but/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] When do you think disordered eating becomes a eating disorder ?
/u/Idunnoking [5’1 | CW101 | GW95 | 16F✨]
Created: Wed Nov 8 19:38:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bqgc8/when_do_you_think_disordered_eating_becomes_a/
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I know this is a pretty open question as it’s all fairly subjective but I’m curious. From personal experience/knowledge what do you think is or makes up the line that divides the two? Is there any particular time period, behaviour or even a moment in your own life that you could use as a marker of when a couple bad habits became something more?
[Discussion] Thanksgiving calorie guide?
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | CW: 125 | GW: small | F]
Created: Wed Nov 8 19:22:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bqd6e/thanksgiving_calorie_guide/
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I've been thinking about researching the typical foods served at (American) Thanksgiving and figuring out good methods to eyeball portion sizes and whatnot, just to make calorie counting for the day(s) easier. Would that help out anyone else as well? Or, has someone already created a Master Chart or something that I could use? I think it'd be super cool.
***EDIT: [Portion guide for eyeballing dat Thanksgiving food](https://greatist.com/health/serving-size-thanksgiving-portion-guide)
[Calories on your Thanksgiving plate](https://www.thedailymeal.com/entertain/how-many-calories-are-your-thanksgiving-plate-slideshow)
[A literal calculator to give you a ballpark estimate](http://www.superskinnyme.com/thanksgiving-calorie-calculator.html) (thanks /u/dotprinceton)
I'll try to find/make others as well.
[Other] Got food on the way
/u/fxckyouaurora [166cm|52kg|F24]
Created: Wed Nov 8 19:19:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bqcfx/got_food_on_the_way/
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Went to a gig and got drunk, obviously. Now I’ve got a takeaway coming to my home. Obv. Gonna eat it all, of course. Purge? Maybe/probably. Hate myself? Already do. Acted like a psycho all night? Yes. Still have a boyfriend? Somehow, yes.
I’m gonna wake up tomorrow bloated and full of self hate (more than usual) someone convince me that laxatives are a bad idea.
I know I shouldn’t but someone tell me why. :’’’’((
(On mobile, flair other? Or take it down if it’s against rules)
[Rant/Rave] Just had a fight with my husband about r/proed
/u/bonedust_pale [5'1"|GW 95|-60.4.8|F]
Created: Wed Nov 8 19:09:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bqady/just_had_a_fight_with_my_husband_about_rproed/
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Rant:
He picked me up from work and I wasn't too depressed today. I was looking at the Reddit and smiled at some things because I see myself is the comments and understand the bullshit emotions over little things. So I was kinda sharing with him... like hey see I have my people. I'm not the only one offended by bread and snacks on laxatives.
He knows I fast and throw away food but I tell him I'm fine, just weird. So he asked what's the subreddit? And I said I'm not sharing that with you...if I knew you could see it I wouldn't be able to be honest on there and it really helps me.
He got fucking mad! Like I'm hiding a huge thing from him. He wouldn't come home just sat in his car and didn't carry in the groceries.
Fuck you buddy, guess who's not eating dinner and going to bed at like 6:30?
I hate this.
[Rant/Rave] I just purged at a work event
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Wed Nov 8 19:00:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bq8c6/i_just_purged_at_a_work_event/
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A month into starting a new job...fuck me. I feel like the biggest failure in the world right now. Went to a networking event at a restaurant but I didn't know they were going to be serving food all night. I ended up binging on everything.
I fought the urge to go to purge but ultimately spent about 20 minutes in the bathroom, purging as much as I could in between people entering and leaving. I hadn't had any water so it was almost impossible to get anything out, and just as it started to come up easier, another goddamn person entered the bathroom. I gave up, it was too risky.
As I was about to leave, I noticed the feet in the stall next to me, the tiny tan boat shoes facing toward the toilet. Then it started, the rhythmic splashes, someone was purging in the stall next to me. Someone better than me. No gagging, no choking, just perfect little splashes. She didn't care that there were other people there, and I'm sure none of the strangers around gave a shit about what she was doing either. I felt like an even bigger failure than before.
To add insult to injury, I'm now terrified that my new coworkers could smell the puke on me when I came back. I've never tried to purge in a public place before. I don't know what came over me. Why can't I just fast forever...
[Rant/Rave] I feel like a normal person today
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 111 | GW: 105 | M/15]
Created: Wed Nov 8 18:08:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bpxwq/i_feel_like_a_normal_person_today/
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Im just eating whatever I want (without binging) and actually doing my homework, usually I'll be starving myself and playing video games/sleeping. It feels like I'm actually a normal human that eats normally. I don't care about calories and I'm not having a meltdown because I ate too much, it's just so normal. It's only for today but it feels so nice, like how it used to be
[Help] for those who have maintained, did your hair improve/get thicker again on maintenance?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18| f | 22]
Created: Wed Nov 8 17:43:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bpsbr/for_those_who_have_maintained_did_your_hair/
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sometimes in certain light i can kind of see my scalp at the front of my hairline (i have pretty light hair which makes it more noticeable to me). to people who've maintained—did your hair get thicker and start growing more fully when you stopped restricting? i have like 5 pounds to go and then i'm gonna maintain so i'm wondering. i'm super insecure about the idea of my hair getting thin on my scalp ahhh
[Rant/Rave] I'm ridiculous
/u/SpitAndPennyStyle [5'2" |145lbs|preggo]
Created: Wed Nov 8 17:36:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bpqn8/im_ridiculous/
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So I found out I was pregnant about a several weeks ago and decided to try to maintain my weight. Of course, I can't eat like a normal human so it's just been constant over eating. I have been too scared to weigh myself or even log my calories. I felt like I had gained 25 pounds. There's a conference I have to attend in two weeks and I thought that the dress I sewed for myself wouldn't fit anymore. I've even made comments about it to my fiance and I think he's starting to get worried about me. Finally, I worked up the courage today to weigh myself, just to see the damage ya know? 147.6 pounds. I've been panicking over only 2 1/2 pounds. I can easily get back to 145 in two weeks to wear my dress and even then some without it harming my health or the baby. I just wanted to tell y'all how ridiculous I've been so someone could laugh with me.
[Rant/Rave] I was supposed to look like a princess today but instead I decided to cry lol
/u/Taiz_eyes
Created: Wed Nov 8 16:58:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bpi84/i_was_supposed_to_look_like_a_princess_today_but/
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TW self harm
I tried on wedding dresses today. I fell in love with one. I don’t feel like I deserve to see my gross flubby body in the most beautiful dress I have ever seen in person.
So now I’m crying, and doing this awful bad habit where I cut every time I eat. Thank God I only have stress about my wedding until October 2019.
Anyone else in a similar place?
How long restricting until it gets hard?
/u/325896471
Created: Wed Nov 8 16:45:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bpfm4/how_long_restricting_until_it_gets_hard/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I purged for the first time in 4 years. Huh
/u/manilovepeanutbutter [5'8 | CW 175lbs | HW 210lbs | LW 120lbs | UGW idk man | 20yo F]
Created: Wed Nov 8 16:43:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bpf87/i_purged_for_the_first_time_in_4_years_huh/
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I was really good today. I didn't eat anything besides black cold brew, water, 100 calories of oj and 40 calories worth of beef jerky from 9 am to 4 pm.
I planned on keeping it up and eating roughly 400 in total today if need be. I have been restricting really well and I felt a good "balance" without major cravings or hunger pains.
My boyfriend texted me to go out to get food on campus after class at 4. I agree because of how good I've been about eating mindfully. I imagined myself eating only a few bites then being good for the day and drinking tea.
I ended up eating fries, nuggets, and half a chicken sandwich. It's like my brain turned off and I just ate. *I wasn't even feeling hungry.* All I could do was eat, I could barely listen to what he said.
I got halfway through my chicken sandwich when it hit me that I just probably ate 1000 calories.
I just calmly thought "Hey, you can just throw it up now", excused myself to the bathroom, and did just that.
There was a girl two stalls over from me but I literally just didn't care. Then I washed my mouth out and snuck some mints once I was back. It was like I was a robot.
I've relapsed on restricting/ana but I made the conscious effort to never purge again, because it made me feel so horrible. It's hard to hide. It's gross. It's incredibly addicting.
And I did it and I don't even feel bad really. I mostly feel happy I didn't eat all those calories and I'm back to restricting comfortably. Watermelon for dinner.
Oh well. I guess it doesn't happen again? It likely wouldn't have if I had self control, so I'll view it as such.
[Goal] It's been 1000 days since February 12, 2015 aka the day I was just too damn hungry. I still have a long way to go
/u/relapseandrecovery
Created: Wed Nov 8 16:33:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bpcx9/its_been_1000_days_since_february_12_2015_aka_the/
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https://imgur.com/MrAotzx
[Rant/Rave] Found out I'm 2 inches shorter than I originally thought.
/u/brita09234890235 [vora: brita | bmi 21.3]
Created: Wed Nov 8 15:53:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bp49c/found_out_im_2_inches_shorter_than_i_originally/
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This past year I thought I'm 5ft4 and at a pretty okay bmi, inching closer and closer to that sexy 19 bmi. Today at the doctor I found out I'm 5ft2.5. I want to die. I broke down crying when I found out. This whole time I thought I was kinda at an okay weight health wise but now my bmi is 22.9 or some stupid shit around that. Now all I see is a short fat girl whenever I look in the mirror. I'm pathetic. My doctor said people usually gain and lose an inch as the day goes on but that seems like nothing but b.s to me. I want this to all be over jfc...
[Rant/Rave] Hello Binging My Old Friend...
/u/livingoncoffeee
Created: Wed Nov 8 15:34:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bozp7/hello_binging_my_old_friend/
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In the last 24 hours ate seven bowls (like ~9 cups?) of cheerios, half a box of crackers, a bowl of pasta, half a cake, three sloppy Joes, half a container's worth of hot chocolate powder, and a fuck ton of hummus.
My waist is two inches thicker and hurts so badly.
I hate this side of the ED- fasting/restricting makes me feeling pretty and tiny despite the fatigue, but this makes me angry and sad and bitchy and fat. Blah. I have zero self control. It didn't even taste good.
[Rant/Rave] [Trigger Warning - sexual assault & self harm]
/u/Proednc [177cm | CW 135 | BMI 19.10 | GW 120 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 8 15:21:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bowrc/trigger_warning_sexual_assault_self_harm/
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Not really looking for advice, just need to get some of this shit off my chest in a place I know is safe.
I occasionally get "bad" days/weeks/moments where I can't stop thinking about being sexually assaulted from 8 years ago, and it seeps into everything I do. I used to self harm a lot before I met my SO, but stopped after he noticed (I self harm in places others can't see). It was REALLY hard to stop, but he supported me through it and was my crutch for a long time (still is I guess).
So, I'm having a "bad" week. I can't stop thinking about how my life has been impacted countless times by an event that took place over 8 years ago. I've recently been thinking about self harming again but I can't do that to my SO. Instead I sit under burning water in the shower to "punish" myself, but it's not the same as cutting. I don't get the same feeling afterwards.
I know it is shitty and fucked up, but I kind of miss cutting. I know I can control what goes into my body for the most part, but I feel like I can't control what I do physically to my body because it will upset my SO and I don't want to put him through that. Sometimes I try to convince myself that I can get away with it and that he won't notice and it will heal before he has a chance to see, but I know that's not realistic. I've also thought about "asking him for permission" to cut, but then I realize I'm crazy.
I hope it will pass soon, because if it doesn't and I end up cutting again, I might go into a downward spiral and dig myself into a hole I can't get out of.
[Rant/Rave] want to recover, but everyone hates me
/u/missalligator [5'2" | 97.5 lb | GW: 95 | BMI 18.3]
Created: Wed Nov 8 15:19:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bow44/want_to_recover_but_everyone_hates_me/
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I want to recover, genuinely, because everyone hates me. But the problem is my self-worth
I don't think I deserve food because everyone hates me. Because people who don't know think I'm shallow because of it. People who don't know see what I'm doing and try to emulate it for whatever personal insecurities they hold, not realizing this is a tool of self-destruction because I want to punish myself. This is not an ideal. I need to recover because people say they wish they could look like me; only staring at my waist, they can't see nails breaking, teeth rotting, and hair falling out. I'm no longer a person, I'm a force of influence on people. People look at me with only either pity or envy, and then criticize themselves rather than my behavior. I just make people feel bad and then hate me and/or themselves. I can't keep being this. I want to be a real person again, not a disorder and not an image.
I wish my own health wasn't the least of my concerns, but I'm more afraid of anyone jumping down the rabbit hole after me in seeing some delusion of an ideal at the bottom.
So I'll just hang out in this grey area of wanting to recover for everyone else while never being motivated enough to do it for myself because how could I deserve to if this is all I do to people. As it goes.
[Discussion] Does anyone worry about the sub being closed down?
/u/UnskinnyVegan [171cm | Too high | Too high | Ick | ]
Created: Wed Nov 8 14:51:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bopjn/does_anyone_worry_about_the_sub_being_closed_down/
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Reddit has recently been banning certain subs and I wonder if anyone worries about reddit banning this sub... I currently use it a lot and enjoy reading various posts and I think it would be quite upsetting for me to have nowhere to go on reddit.
What are your feelings?
[Help] I'm having abdominal surgery next week
/u/northdakotanowhere [5'7 | 120.6 | 18.82 | -54lbs | F]
Created: Wed Nov 8 14:39:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bomqy/im_having_abdominal_surgery_next_week/
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I'm hoping (?) that I finally get a diagnosis of endometriosis. But this eating disorder is getting in the way of preparing for surgery.
I'm excited about the day before because I can't eat all day and have to do a bowel prep ( I can't wait to weigh myself after)
I'm excited for the drugs. And having an excuse to not eat because of nausea.
I'm excited that I'm taking a few weeks off of work and the eating disorder program. No weekly weigh ins. No lectures from 3 different people. Saying the exact same shit. Eat more. Eat more often. Eat more variety. I know. I know. I knoooow.
Im excited because I get to engage in self destructive behaviors between now and next Wednesday.
I should care that my body needs food to recover. That's what they kept talking about. It's so hard though. My eating disorder is taking over again. I saw 'mild' malnutrition on my chart and that has just lingered in my head. Like I need to prove something and restrict more. My recovery brain has been harassing me to eat all day. But I just can't. I had a rice cake.
My mother (my biggest trigger) is coming up to "help" and that terrifies me. Nagging and shoving food down my throat. That's what I can expect. My boyfriend is going to call her and tell her off basically. She respects him for so I know she'll listen.
Has anyone else been through surgery while restricting? I have to say when I think about it I'm scared. I'm not underweight (I tell myself that to comfort myself for some reason) but I did stupidly research death rates after surgery and skinnier people die more often after surgery than overweight people. Where's the fairness in that?
Any tips for recovery? I've heard I need protein. I was thinking just protein shakes. Any other foods that'll be easy to eat.
Wish me luck!
[Discussion] Does anyone else slippery slope into a binge?
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 111 | GW: 105 | M/15]
Created: Wed Nov 8 14:24:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7boj7g/does_anyone_else_slippery_slope_into_a_binge/
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Like if I eat 500 calories over my limit instead of stopping there I'll use it as justification to eat 1,000 more even though I know it's just making it worse and a calorie is a calorie. It feels a lot more justifiable even though it's the same thing
[Help] I used to be able to eat below 800 consistently, now I can’t even stay under 1200
/u/im-stressed-af-fam
Created: Wed Nov 8 13:25:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bo4jm/i_used_to_be_able_to_eat_below_800_consistently/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I can't have friends who are thinner than me.
/u/fieryanxiety
Created: Wed Nov 8 13:21:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bo3mg/i_cant_have_friends_who_are_thinner_than_me/
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For some reason I can't tolerate having friends who are thinner or prettier than me. Or even having any interaction with such people. It makes me so self conscious that I hate myself and want to die. Especially when they're just "naturally" thin and petite. I become consumed by feelings of jealousy, inferiority and self loathing. It doesn't motivate me to lose weight, it crushes my will. I'll never look like that! Might as well eat 500 bags of Doritos and stay in bed for 6 months.
[Rant/Rave] It's too cold for my safe food
/u/Adassai_nova [Age: 25 | BMI: 21.5 | Gender: M | Dx: BN]
Created: Wed Nov 8 13:19:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bo375/its_too_cold_for_my_safe_food/
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I'm low-key freaking out because, for the last month, I have had the same three meals every. single. day.
One of my three meals is 217g of frozen grapes and three 50-cal, home-made, vegan, protein popsicles (cookies and cream flavoured). It feels like dessert but doesn't make me feel like shit.
Except now winter has finally begun to set in, and eating my safe food makes me painfully cold. Even if I eat while wrapped up in blankets, it still feels like me bones are freezing. On top of that, my Reynaud's has been flaring up, so after I eat my frozen grapes, my fingertips are literally blue.
I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't want to give up my safe food. I know it sounds dumb, but I don't like non-frozen grapes, and I don't like regular protein shakes.
Anyway, fml. Anyone else have weather-dependent food?
[Rant/Rave] Five years without abusing laxatives... why now??
/u/NegativeOscillation
Created: Wed Nov 8 13:13:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bo1hh/five_years_without_abusing_laxatives_why_now/
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I used to abuse laxatives BADLY. When I mean badly, I mean I used to take upwards of 40 AT A TIME. I would take so many laxatives at once that the overdose of laxatives would make me vomit. It was a miserable existence. I stopped using them nearly 5 years ago. But lately I’ve been spiraling downward and started using them again. I know how awful it was before. I literally shit my pants in public once!! What am I doing?! Ugh. So frustrated at myself.
[Help] How many calories in sushi?
/u/water_77 [🍀🌺🍀]
Created: Wed Nov 8 12:54:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bnwgr/how_many_calories_in_sushi/
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I had an 8-piece "spicy chicken roll" which had cucumber, carrot, chicken, rice, seaweed. It had a tiny bit of fried onion pieces too. The pieces were on the larger side for sushi, of the ones I'd seen. I'm not sure if it had avocado or not but if it did then it would be small enough for me not to notice it.
Thanks~ I hate it when people don't put calorie counts on their food.
[Rant/Rave] fasting is making me feel like an impostor which makes no sense but here we are
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1.5" | cw 151 | gw 145 | ugw 100 | -19]
Created: Wed Nov 8 12:48:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bnv11/fasting_is_making_me_feel_like_an_impostor_which/
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So I've gotten really into fasting. I have severe issues with simple decision making. Idk if that's a thing with a name but having to decide what to eat every day is like a slippery slope that leads to terrible anxiety and then often binging. So fasting has been great because I don't have to make food decisions at all. Every time a thought pops into my head about something I should eat I just banish it because I'm not eating anything today. There's no reason to spend time considering what to eat, and if that thing will lead me to want to binge, etc.
So yeah, it's been great. And on the days I eat I haven't even been binging. I've been eating what feels like "normally" for the first time in years maybe. Honestly it's probably been a bit above my very low TDEE but again, I don't even care. And on top of that I've been eating mostly healthy food because I want my body to be ready for the next few days of fasting. Lots of protein, etc. I'm also noticing the weight loss this time. Maybe it's because it's happening faster than before. I ate pizza last night and didn't feel disgusting today. I kept grabbing my problem areas and noticing that they feel smaller...
So yeah it should all be great but my brain is like "no, this can't be going this good, we need to have a reason to feel like shit" so what I'm getting now is that I'm an impostor because I've found a food situation that feels like it's working for me. I'm a fucked up person for browsing this sub and I'm truly delusional to think that I have an eating disorder because right now I'm not too stressed about food. I ate pizza last night without any guilt and today I don't feel like a blobby monster. My brain is so suspicious about the absence of severe food anxiety that there are red lights flashing that something must be wrong. Something always has to be wrong I guess
[Other] Does anyone else sigh a lot when EC stacking?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 113.6 | UGW: 102lbs | Peach: LobsterMacNCheese]
Created: Wed Nov 8 12:13:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bnm2t/does_anyone_else_sigh_a_lot_when_ec_stacking/
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I feel like it's such a strange side effect, but I'm constantly taking very deep breaths and sighing.. Like I'm upset about something but it's literally just a side effect of some kind.
I'm also pretty thirsty for water while on it, ravenous when I come down, and focused as all hell. Those ones are obvious though.
[Rant/Rave] The scale is finally moving again!
/u/agent_philcoulson [5'4" | CW: 133.8 | GW: 120 | UGW: 110]
Created: Wed Nov 8 11:25:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bn93l/the_scale_is_finally_moving_again/
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I'm so happy. It felt like I wasn't loosing weight for the longest time and have been stuck at 135 lbs. Weighed myself today and I'm down to 133.8. I know it's a small amount but I'm super excited.
I've been trying to restrict to about 1000 calories a day. I do go over some days, but over all I have been sticking to it. I booted up my fitbit (hadn't been using it for a few months) and I feel optimistic.
Too bad I'm stuck going to a company dinner tonight so I'll be forced to eat something I'd rather not. I'll probably order a burger and eat half of it. That's not too weird, right?
[Rant/Rave] today, my life changed
/u/eggshellss [5'4"| :( | :( | -25 | 24F]
Created: Wed Nov 8 11:20:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bn7xb/today_my_life_changed/
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[removed]
[Help] how to do meals out without eating
/u/citygirlcitymind
Created: Wed Nov 8 11:11:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bn5jj/how_to_do_meals_out_without_eating/
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first post here, i’ve recently moved out of my parents house and in with my boyfriend. it was easy not to eat at home because i was always out until late and could get away with lying about meals etc., but ever since i started dating my boyrfriend i’ve gained a ton of weight because he can eat anything (and i mean anything) without gaining a pound. we have been eating out so often, and i make dinner a few nights a week. when i make dinner it’s easier to cut my portion but when we go out it’s nearly impossible to eat healthy or to get away with not eating. i don’t know how to avoid eating without him noticing - he gets mad if i leave food on my plate esp at fancy places (i’ve tried to change our dates so they aren’t food related but a girl can only do so much). i’m not even sure what i’m asking for here, but some suggestions would be awesome. maybe i’m just ranting because my dad took me out for lunch and ordered just about every appetizer on the menu. apologies in advance for my incoherent sentences
[Help] What jobs require you to upkeep your appearance? I've spent forever being jobless because of my ED but if I get a job where I gain I'll end up quitting.
/u/pedaling-backwards [5'2 | 105 | 20F]
Created: Wed Nov 8 10:56:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bn1eo/what_jobs_require_you_to_upkeep_your_appearance/
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I've spent *so* many years telling myself that if I lose 'X' amount of pounds I'll go get a job. Then time passes, I lose the weight, and I either realize it's not good enough and lose *more* weight or end up stalling myself by getting into a binge/restrict cycle.
In 2015, when I was 190, I told myself I'd get a job at 140. At 140, I said 120. At 120, I said 110. I ended up hitting 100 a few months back, and even then *that* wasn't enough. It's time for me just to stop making excuses and go out and apply somewhere.
Problem is, I know me. I *know* if I get any old job, I'll end up gaining and then quit once I see that I've gained. Overcoming my social anxiety to go apply somewhere is bad enough, but feeling fat on top of it will make me run for the hills at any workplace I go to.
While it sounds incredibly vain, I need a job that I sort of *need* and would *want* to upkeep my appearance/maintain my weight for. For instance, a bartender position would've been perfect because the more interactive you are with the customers and the more well-presented you are appearance-wise = typically better tips, but I'm a few months shy of 21.
Are there any other jobs that are similar in that regard? I know it's a little bit of a silly/vain question, but I'm pretty sheltered in regards to employment and I figured some of you may understand wanting to be able to maintain your weight while working.
[Rant/Rave] Starting outpatient treatment for alcohol abuse today
/u/jeanisdead [5'2.5" | 98lbs]
Created: Wed Nov 8 10:54:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bn0yf/starting_outpatient_treatment_for_alcohol_abuse/
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I've been trying to get off the booze for over a year now. Decided enough was enough after my last bender, and with help from my lovely parents, applied for Medicaid and made some calls.
My drinking always lead to binging and purging. I plan on discussing this and my bronkaid abuse. I'm hoping to get my meds adjusted. I'm hoping I can stay sober this time. It's my first experience with rehab, but not my first experience with substance abuse. I'm gonna lay my cards on the table here. Spill everything, because I really want to be done with it.
Anybody have experience with this? I'm not sure what to expect going in today.
[Other] The empty feeling that made me want to binge forever is now my friend
/u/mintslut
Created: Wed Nov 8 10:45:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bmykl/the_empty_feeling_that_made_me_want_to_binge/
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Does this happen to anyone else? When I'm in a binge phase, the emtpy feeling inside me made me want to stuff it full of food until I was crying and unintentionally throwing up. But when I'm restricting, that feeling is a friend. Like I could survive off of water and tea and gum forever. When I used to fast, it would take me a couple days to get there, but today it came early!
[Intro] So I guess I have an ED and I'm somewhat ok with it.
/u/Throwaway17898753 [5'11" | CW 189 | GW 175 | 90 Lost | 34M]
Created: Wed Nov 8 10:39:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bmx45/so_i_guess_i_have_an_ed_and_im_somewhat_ok_with_it/
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So everyone says I have an ED. I restrict myself to nothing when I can, one meal a day when I can't. I lie about eating; I cook for my family and say I snacked while cooking to avoid eating what I cooked. My kids are starting to realize I don't eat. I yearn for the pain of fasting, the noises from my stomach. I know it means I'm getting skinnier. I don't sleep. I work graveyard shift; I'm asleep by 8a and up by 11 every day unless there's a depression nap. When I'm angry I can't eat so I pick fights with those close to me to slim down.
I feel like absolute physical and mental shit after I eat, no matter how hungry I am or what I eat. I fast. A lot. I tell people it's intermittent fasting as part of a fitness routine, but it's way more than that. I weigh myself at least 10 times a day. What little I eat I Time and trend with the scale. The scale determines what and if I eat.
Where I work is very image centric; performance is less important than image and despite being the best at what I do, I can feel the lack of company image hurting me. I've seriously considered the three pukes a day diet to get down to my goal weight. This is just another thing that is slowly consuming me (along with depression, anxiety, service related ptsd, general poor choices) and strangely enough, I like it.
I miss not caring about so many things. Food being one of them.
[Tip] pro tip ~ burn your tongue raw on black coffee during a fast, break your fast 24 hours early with a massive binge, and eat so much candy your tongue starts bleeding everywhere and now all food hurts :p
/u/seawardwaves [5'8" | cw~127 gw~115]
Created: Wed Nov 8 10:22:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bmssm/pro_tip_burn_your_tongue_raw_on_black_coffee/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I've started feeling like i might not make it through this. I feel like I should secretively make a documentary sharing my life experience in case i do end up needing to take my life in the future
/u/letstryforkarma
Created: Wed Nov 8 09:42:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bmih1/ive_started_feeling_like_i_might_not_make_it/
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Secretly*
Starting to feel like there is no hope. 3 years I've been practically infirmed and a burden on my family. It's almost been a year now since i pursued mental health help. I know that's not much. But I've started losing faith in recovery even though i scored some free intensive treatment.
I know i should give the treatment a chance. But I'm worried. Because it's my last drive to try and recover. I can't continue like this...living in shame.. Friends and family majority not supportive. I have maybe 2 or 3 people. But can't really put that burden on them. Also, don't want to disclose too much about what's going on with them because when i did with other friends, they were so unsupportive and offensive i had to stop seeing them.
Anyway, yeah, I'm wondering if i should start documenting shit and creating video journals I might never publish unless i recover successfully many years from now or need to commit suicide.
The suicide comment isn't totally coming from a depressive point. I'm giving life a shot. But there will be a limit on what i can tolerate... Basically when my mom and dad pass away it's game over for me. They are mid 60s now . Not great health. So the clock is ticking for me to get better. I won't want to live in a world with zero support while still dealing with this.
this helped me a lot
/u/Cocopuffs101
Created: Wed Nov 8 09:33:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bmg5k/this_helped_me_a_lot/
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https://youtu.be/q0IHu7OxQ68
[Discussion] Teach me how to drink black coffee
/u/nielapup
Created: Wed Nov 8 09:11:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bmaq4/teach_me_how_to_drink_black_coffee/
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I drink coffee all the time. I work at a coffee shop so I have unlimited access, but I can't stand it black or any of the zero calorie sweeteners. I waste so many calories adding cream and sugar.
[Rant/Rave] Sick of hiding my weight loss from my mother
/u/dre-ezy
Created: Wed Nov 8 09:06:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bm9ky/sick_of_hiding_my_weight_loss_from_my_mother/
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I moved out shortly after “treatment” and subsequently lost 15 pounds, lol. I’m slightly underweight and my mom has eyes like a fucking hawk. Last time I went over I wore 3 pairs of pants, 2 t shirts, and a sweater, and she STILL was side eyeing me about my weight and interogating mw on my eating habits :(
I hate lying to her, I hate wearing layers on layers on layers and I hate how obvious it is that I’m sick
Everyday people tell me I look sick,
pale, and tired. Even strangers.
Ugh
[Help] Does stress halt your weight loss?
/u/catbernetsauv
Created: Wed Nov 8 08:48:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bm4yi/does_stress_halt_your_weight_loss/
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I'm exercising a lot more and I'm eating only 800 calories a day (about to reduce it to 500) and I'm losing nothing. I'm really stressed out as I plan a wedding and am finishing up an internship. Is cortisol what's screwing me over?
[Rant/Rave] My last meal
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 8 08:14:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7blx9u/my_last_meal/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] I finally feel motivated.
/u/murdermttens [5'6"| fat |gw 98| F]
Created: Wed Nov 8 08:10:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7blwdp/i_finally_feel_motivated/
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I have no god damn clue where it has come from. I’m just alert, awake, I feel empty. I feel the need to create something.
I only went down .5 lb lmfao, but I don’t give a shit right now. I’m fasting and I feel confident. So fuck you ED! No breaking my fast with a bloody-snot faced crippling b/p. Enjoying that sweet sweet ketosis taste mixed with my coffee. (Seriously disgusting🤮 but thank god for Listerine pocket paks).
Shit I might even get around to my steam back log. Maybe draw. I don’t know but this feeling is intense.
Here’s hoping I don’t jinx it.
HAPPY MOTHER F’IN WEDS EVERYONE!!!!!!!!
[Discussion] [Question] anyone else here work with food?
/u/garbagegrrl
Created: Wed Nov 8 07:32:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7blntc/question_anyone_else_here_work_with_food/
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Mobile formatting, please forgive me 😅
Just curious. I work at this little Chinese fast food type place that's sorta buffet style - you buy a box and tell the staff what you want, they put it in the box. Handy enough work. Except for the fact that I'm literally looking at really unhealthy food all day. Which just makes me extra hungry 😢 just wanna know if anyone can relate to my problem in any way hahaha
[Help] i feel like i need to gorge to lose weight (a poop drama)
/u/bellexy [5'8 | tubbalub | -20 | GW 118]
Created: Wed Nov 8 06:44:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bldqe/i_feel_like_i_need_to_gorge_to_lose_weight_a_poop/
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so i'm trying to recover from laxative abuse.
and it is killing my spirit.
i went to a festival over the weekend and allowed myself to drink so much beer and eat so much food. but because i'm trying to get off lax, i haven't pooped in about a week and a half (!!!!). so i'm bloated and disgusting and up at least five pounds from my last weigh in. that being said, i haven't gone up in belt loop measure or whatever. i'm not a scientist. i don't know.
but *i know* it's water and food weight. i *know* i'm not really that heavy. i've been on 400-700 a day since then and it won't budge.
so in my stupid head i'm like: i need to stuff my face with grapefruit and apples to get a move on. i need to eat a whole butternut squash to get this going. i need to inhale a box of fiber one squares to unleash this garbage.
please lord of poop and woosh, bless my bowels
;-;
and i don't wanna get down w my husband because [i feel so groce](https://images-cdn.9gag.com/photo/a9WWENW_700b.jpg). but at the same time i'm hungry for the d too so idk i just have so many hunger issues right now ahhh
does this urge happen to yall? if so and you've done it, has it worked? what the heck am i supposed to do, succumb to it or fight against it? what is life?
[Discussion] November 8th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 8 05:53:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bl47n/november_8th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What topic are you bored talking about?
Ugh sports
[Discussion] We need to talk about Midol more
/u/ohwellolivia
Created: Wed Nov 8 05:20:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bkyn0/we_need_to_talk_about_midol_more/
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Why does no one talk about this?? It’s a gift from the ED gods!
It’s got caffeine, so it’s perfect for short fasts (not a ton, only 60 mg, but enough to keep you going)
It’s got acetaminophen, a pain killer for fasting headaches, and a muscle relaxer for those stupid leg cramps.
It’s got an antihistamine for bloating and water weight. It even claims to help with irritability, aka being hangry.
AND you don’t have to take it with food!!
It’s not just for periods guys. This stuff is legit. Even my dad takes it for tension headaches. Anyone else swear by it??
[Other] Halo top to be released in the UK
/u/DontMindMeJustBingin [183cm/6'0" | 58kg/128lbs | 16.64 | GW 58kg/128lbs | M]
Created: Wed Nov 8 05:18:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bkyaj/halo_top_to_be_released_in_the_uk/
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http://metro.co.uk/2017/11/06/mega-popular-healthy-american-ice-cream-brand-halo-top-is-coming-to-the-uk-7056276/
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 08, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Nov 8 05:11:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bkx4n/daily_food_diary_november_08_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 08, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday November 08, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Nov 8 05:10:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bkx0b/way_to_go_wednesday_november_08_2017/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for November 08, 2017.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Discussion] Best fleecy/thermal leggings UK high street?
/u/toadally-grody [174.5cm / 47.3 / 15.2 / maintaining / F]
Created: Wed Nov 8 05:10:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bkwz2/best_fleecythermal_leggings_uk_high_street/
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I don't have to say why.
Ideally dark, under £20 and from somewhere I can try and buy at before friday. I don't want to have to support sweatshop labour by going anywhere grossly unethical! I live in London I'm case that helps.
[Discussion] Anyone else feeling a "Halloween Hangover" from achieving a certain weight for a costume?
/u/cignasty [5'11| 120lbs | 16.7 | 26M]
Created: Wed Nov 8 03:52:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bklh5/anyone_else_feeling_a_halloween_hangover_from/
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I hit a target weight this year for a Halloween costume I was very excited to wear and now that Halloween is over I find myself not wanting to change any habits that lead me here. I know where I am at is not healthy in a strict medical definition, but I feel better than ever. I'm not sure if I am gaining control over myself in my disciplined habits, or if I am going down a path I should avoid, but I feel like I am at a crossroads of sorts precipitated by the recent holiday which gave me extra motivation to hit my target. Anyone going through something similar?
[Help] Holiday season with family tips?
/u/fartforfun [Height 167cm | CW 150lb | BMI 24.3 | Weight Lost 2lb ]
Created: Wed Nov 8 03:45:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bkkj9/holiday_season_with_family_tips/
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How do you keep restricting when you always eat as a family during the holidays? When there's so much carby fatty food?
[Help] Need help to maintain while visiting family
/u/UnforgivingLoaf
Created: Wed Nov 8 02:11:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bk7c2/need_help_to_maintain_while_visiting_family/
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So I live across the country from my family and they have no idea I’ve relapsed. I’m 104 lbs right now and I’m sure I’ll lose a few more within the next 13 days but I need to be able to maintain enough to not worry them. I don’t know how to make myself eat enough to maintain or even how much that would be. Every time I do eat it’s a binge. So if anyone knows any way to keep my intake high enough to stay where I’m at but low enough not to gain I would be forever in your debt!!!! xx
[Discussion] Please relieve my stress...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 8 02:08:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bk6xa/please_relieve_my_stress/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] purging is back!
/u/rawtruism [5'2 | cw: 100.5 lbs | gw: 88 lbs]
Created: Wed Nov 8 01:58:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bk5q7/purging_is_back/
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(on mobile, can't flair but rave/rant)
I was doing alright for like. a month or so. probably ate too much but nothing extremely excessive. but I've been quite stressed and sleep deprived and then I binged and purged on monday and now I'm doing the same today :(
I can't help it today. and I just needed to vent. but wow people remember to get enough sleep or you might end up eating everything like a little bitch and throwing it up again and feeling horrible. lovely! tomorrow will be better hopefully.
[Goal] Back to business 🙆🏾♀️🤹🏾♀️🤷🏽♀️
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Wed Nov 8 01:47:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bk4ej/back_to_business/
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[removed]
[Help] I've lost my mojo...Sigh :( What do you do to re-mo your jo?
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 57.1kg | BMI 18.86 |- 15kg | GW 52kg | 24F]
Created: Wed Nov 8 01:08:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bjzb3/ive_lost_my_mojosigh_what_do_you_do_to_remo_your/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] What this has done to me so far...
/u/coffeebean27
Created: Wed Nov 8 00:48:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bjwjy/what_this_has_done_to_me_so_far/
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I can’t feel full anymore. Whenever I eat and feel slightly full, even if I ate healthy and small portion, I have that sick feeling. I then have to shove my fingers down my throat to feel better.
Also since I stopped swimming I feel even fatter and I find any reason to throw up. I was burning 300 cal and now I’m on my lazy ass doing nothing and eating 300 cal. Just knowing I’m not working out enough gives me anxiety about getting fat and loosing small amount of muscle I have. It makes me want to starve myself to death.
My teeth are turning yellow, I’m constantly cold, I think it’s okay to just purge all day and my knuckles are full of sores. Wow... and I still feel it’s not valid enough and that I don’t have a disorder. Because 145 is fat, because I have a belly and because my thighs don’t touch I don’t feel there’s anything wrong. Food is all I’m starting to think about and I’m tired of that.
Idk these next 3 months will be hard for me. I don’t get to go back to swimming until late January so I’ll just get huge. I’m also so stressed about everything. I have 3 AP classes (Calculus, Computer Science, and Chemistry), I’m applying to college I probably won’t get in, I have Math Team and other clubs, I’m dealing with bs, my “friends” need me to tutor them, and I have this and my anxiety. I didn’t want to take swim off but my mom made me and that was the only time I could feel relaxed and feel good to be in the water but I don’t have it anymore.
Ahh sorry this ended in a rant I’ll shut up now. Thank you if you read it this far, I appreciate it.
[Rant/Rave] Tomorrow is gonna be fun
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 111 | GW: 105 | M/15]
Created: Wed Nov 8 00:36:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bjuy4/tomorrow_is_gonna_be_fun/
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[removed]
Liquid fast advice?
/u/throwawaymyrazor [5'9" | CW 150 | 22.5 | GW 120]
Created: Tue Nov 7 22:49:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bje2x/liquid_fast_advice/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Petite proED discussion; Trying to avoid purging again. Got tips/advice?
/u/thebonefairy [5ft|CW 90|BMI 17.6|GW:85|]
Created: Tue Nov 7 22:47:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bjdrf/petite_proed_discussion_trying_to_avoid_purging/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Is anyone else here into indie bath and body products more than food?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 7 22:38:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bjc6e/is_anyone_else_here_into_indie_bath_and_body/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Haven’t eaten sh!t in two days just ordered pizza after 2 failed attempts at ‘rias being closed. I win? 👋✌️
/u/LOdowwnlorettabrown
Created: Tue Nov 7 22:19:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bj8ww/havent_eaten_sht_in_two_days_just_ordered_pizza/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Dating with body dysmorphia...?
/u/mina1200
Created: Tue Nov 7 22:19:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bj8u9/dating_with_body_dysmorphia/
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I don't know if anyone can relate, but I find it so hard to date people and actually get to like them because of this shit I'm struggling with. It's like I just have NO IDEA how I actually look like, how attractive I am or just how fat I actually look.
How strange is that though, just having no idea what you look like....
[Rant/Rave] B/P Ruined..
/u/YeahImAPrincess
Created: Tue Nov 7 22:16:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bj86i/bp_ruined/
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(Flag as rant/rave please I'm on Mobile!)
So today I was super stressed and decided to plan a binge/purge. I had it all ready and set to go. I ate my giant fill of junk and had the shower running so I could purge and get in to wash. As I was about to start my niece runs past me and yep... if it was just pee I'd honestly be fine. Now I get to deal with being bloated and pray I gain nothing from this lesson learned. Only b/p if you're home alone or have a secluded toilet, guys..
[Discussion] Post purge calmness?
/u/uiume [5'4" | CW:122.8 | 21.72 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 7 22:12:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bj7o0/post_purge_calmness/
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This evening was really mentally awful and it was all because I was hungry but not hungry but also 100% ready to eat everything but also 100% to throw all my food away and fast again. Long story short I purged four times, had a mini breakdown, and somehow after the last purge I was able to sit in bed with a cup of hot water and feel calm. Almost as if the breakdown I just had never happened. I just sat for a moment, breathed in, drank water, breathed out, and then started planning my meals for tomorrow. And it felt like I had control over...something. What that something was, I'm not sure. And I don't know why that feeling followed such an obvious loss of control mentally and physically. It's like subconsciously I felt...empowered by my worsening mental state? That makes no sense, I know. But I feel 100% fine right now, my calories are planned for tomorrow and I'm feeling very productive.
Has anyone ever experienced a strange sensation like this after a similar purging "session"? I'd be alarmed if I weren't feeling so positive and at peace.
[Rant/Rave] I will swear to you up and down that I don’t have an eating disorder
/u/filthypit
Created: Tue Nov 7 21:18:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bixo9/i_will_swear_to_you_up_and_down_that_i_dont_have/
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But I still just made another throwaway to destroy the paper trail of my involvement in these communities.
I still feel disgusted and out of control because my BMI is creeping back toward the 18-range.
I still left my house at 11pm to walk to a park where I could puke the dinner I had to eat out with friends since I share a bathroom.
I still got vomit in my eye and came back with the smell on my clothes.
I still feel fat even though my legs don’t touch and I can see my ribs.
I still want to be as empty as I feel.
But I can’t fully admit to myself that this is real.
[Other] What’s the most weight you’ve gained after a binge?
/u/dre-ezy
Created: Tue Nov 7 21:13:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7biwmy/whats_the_most_weight_youve_gained_after_a_binge/
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[Rant/Rave] Finally underweight. Time to celebrate?
/u/PamsTeapot [5'8" | 123 lbs | 18.5 | -32 lbs | 30F]
Created: Tue Nov 7 20:56:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bit8l/finally_underweight_time_to_celebrate/
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I finally reached my [goal weight](https://imgur.com/a/cYfqa) and I planned celebrating by actually eating a real meal today. I got some Lasagna and managed to keep it down for around 30 minutes but that didn't last. I've now binged on SweeTarts (the chewy kind that are super hard to purge) and I feel like a complete loser and I wasted a day that was supposed to be special. I hope I'm not the only one who has been through this.
[Rant/Rave] I'm 99% sure my grandma knows
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 111 | GW: 105 | M/15]
Created: Tue Nov 7 20:55:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bit0q/im_99_sure_my_grandma_knows/
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She's constantly asking if I want food (she usually does this but even more) and gave me 6 tacos tonight, which is gonna make me restrict even harder tomorrow. A while back she offered me a sandwich and I said no and she said something like "You don't want to put on an extra pound before school?"
Fuck dude I just wanted to lose 8 lb then suddenly I'm straight up anorexic and hiding it from my family
[Other] When I’m over 105, my boyfriend “forgets” to tell me he loves me
/u/ask1ngalexandra
Created: Tue Nov 7 20:40:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7biq25/when_im_over_105_my_boyfriend_forgets_to_tell_me/
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Just a coincidence, right?
Does anyone else catch these little ‘coincidences’ in their lives?
[Rant/Rave] screw traditional recovery and therapy and all that
/u/ci-fre [5' | 73 -74 lb | ~15-15.2 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 7 20:17:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bilga/screw_traditional_recovery_and_therapy_and_all/
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The traditional attitude towards recovery just doesn't work for me and it makes me so irrationally angry because of that. I don't know what I have; I most likely have an eating disorder (probably I'd get diagnosed with one, if I didn't lie my way through inpatient) and maybe anxiety or depression or OCD or *maybe something else* so I'm not just talking about eating disorders.
I hate when society's assumption seems to be that I must want to seek therapy or some other form of professional help for all this. The assumption that I must want therapy and medications. No, I'm not interested in finding a therapist and no, I'm not interested in finding out what works for recovery based on all those studies because my definition of what I want my life to be like, what I want *happiness* to be like, isn't the same as what professionals have in mind.
I don't think I *have to be forced* to be some limited idea of "normal"... I just want to be stable. To be relatively calm every day without the anxiety bothering me. To be able to be a student and have a steady relationship with food. To do the things I like doing.
The thing is, my "boyfriend" (okay we weren't *really* going out but he sure treated it like that) just broke up with me and he kept making me feel forced into treatment, like he'd talk about long-term plans and therapy and I just... don't want that to be an automatic decision for anyone. He was going on about how I didn't want to "get better" and it made me so infuriated. I don't want to be at a "medically healthy BMI" or to engage in typical food behaviors or to have a normal social life.
I see tips online about how to deal with mental illness and they all make me so irrationally infuriated because I know that they won't help me. No, I don't *want* to engage in "self-care" activities *because they aren't relaxing to me and they are nonessential*. I don't like doing nonessential things.
I decided to stop pursuing help from therapy, and I'm legitimately *happy* for once in my life. I feel like I don't have to be obligated to be normal anymore.
[Discussion] Not looking like your bmi?
/u/imperfectcontrol [5'6" | CW: 115 | 18.56 | CGW: 100 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 7 20:17:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bilf9/not_looking_like_your_bmi/
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Ignore the flair, it's inacccurate. Mods, please fair, I'm on mobile.
I currently have a BMI of 19.1 and I look NOTHING like it. I even bought a new scale and it only increased me two pounds (to 19.1). What could be the reason?? I look nothing like people of similar BMIs in pictures.
[Discussion] anyone here taking klonopin?
/u/twiggier [5'5" (165 cm) // 106.0 lbs // F]
Created: Tue Nov 7 20:08:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bijf8/anyone_here_taking_klonopin/
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how has it been for you? what are the effects and side effects? would you recommend?
[Discussion] Does anyone else get annoyed constantly hearing the word "binge" being used to describe watching a large amount of a TV show in a short amount of time?
/u/LostBrokenAndAfraid [5"10 | CW 195 | 170 | - 70 lbs | M]
Created: Tue Nov 7 19:38:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bid6d/does_anyone_else_get_annoyed_constantly_hearing/
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Like damn, I don't usually get offended about shit, but this trend has gotten so damn annoying.
[Rant/Rave] Binges :(
/u/Iammeandyouareme
Created: Tue Nov 7 19:34:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bicd4/binges/
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First time posting here. I’m now 20 pounds past my lowest weight and have never been a “healthy” weight. Lowest I ever got was 135 on my 5 foot frame and I’m so mad at myself for hitting 160 again.
The worst part is everyone saying I don’t look like I gained 20 pounds because I can feel every one of them.
I just want to get through a day without feeling like a failure.
(On mobile, not sure how to flair from here) :(
[Help] Talking to my doctor about the possibility of me having a BED.
/u/brita09234890235 [vora: brita | bmi 21.3]
Created: Tue Nov 7 19:23:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bia19/talking_to_my_doctor_about_the_possibility_of_me/
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My binging this past few months has gotten so out of hand. And then I restrict the day after. Rinse, repeat. Why? I don't get it. I want to talk to my doctor. I want him to prescribe me vyvanese. I really hope he does. I feel like it's my only solution. I've tried purging and it's just not something I can do. I don't want to keep trying this every single night. I'm pathetic. God I hope he prescribes it. Should I ask him about it? Or just hope he brings it up. He probably won't but I'm going to try. I've done those stupid BED tests online and it always comes out saying I'm likely for a BED. But I'm not overweight. Will he believe me and prescribe it? I hope so.
idk what to flair this as. I guess 'help'.
[Other] Posting to join the discord server :3
/u/iamactuallyfood
Created: Tue Nov 7 19:13:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bi7t7/posting_to_join_the_discord_server_3/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Write or post an ED poem here
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 7 19:12:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bi7jq/write_or_post_an_ed_poem_here/
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[deleted]
[Help] Anyone want to help give a guesstimate on how many calories this piece of cake has?
/u/cluelessrunner
Created: Tue Nov 7 19:02:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bi58i/anyone_want_to_help_give_a_guesstimate_on_how/
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https://i.redd.it/3r1p4wknsnwz.jpg
[Discussion] What is something you routinely buy, eat a little bit of, and then throw away?
/u/dbt-girl
Created: Tue Nov 7 18:52:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bi2t1/what_is_something_you_routinely_buy_eat_a_little/
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(if you do that...)
Mine is jam. Jam is devil.
[Discussion] Gatorade & Klonopin for dinner
/u/vctrlcs [5'6" | CW: 155.8 | GW: 130 | UGW: 115 | BMI: 25.1 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 7 18:47:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bi1r8/gatorade_klonopin_for_dinner/
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comment ur dysfunctional dinners
[Help] fasting tips?
/u/bmddx
Created: Tue Nov 7 18:41:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bi0fn/fasting_tips/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] She called me tiny :D
/u/tjking333 [5'3ft 💮 CW:126lb 💮 BMI:22 💮 -40lb 💮 GW:100 💮 21F]
Created: Tue Nov 7 18:32:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bhyl8/she_called_me_tiny_d/
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I saw one of my friends for the first time in months the other day and just wanted to share something that made me happy.
She and I have been friends for years, and she'd always been the thinnest in our group while I was the opposite. Naturally my ED brain got super competitive over it.
Recently, after not seeing each other for months we saw each other, and the first thing she said was "Wow, TJ, you've gotten tiny. We're like the same size."
Then another girl who I used to be friends with in high school (she was always pretty mean to me back then tbh) also mentioned my weight loss. I played it off like I didn't really think I had, but inside I was off the walls happy.
I don't really see myself as any thinner than I was the last time I saw either of them, but it still made my day. :)
[Intro] I'm fat, do I belong here?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 7 18:17:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bhvag/im_fat_do_i_belong_here/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bhvag/im_fat_do_i_belong_here/
[Help] I think I'm starting to belong here...
/u/trackprogress
Created: Tue Nov 7 18:07:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bht41/i_think_im_starting_to_belong_here/
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(help - just realized I don't know how to flair, can any of the mods flair this for me please? sorry for being a bother)
I've never had really healthy eating habits. I used to binge a lot which led to me being fat until like, 17, when I decided I'd lose weight (using cico, so pretty healthily actually). About one and a half years ago I hit a plateau I couldn't seem to break (around 61kgs/122lbs) and I'd start binging again then restricting (the cico way) and that went on for a while.
I'd always feel guilty eating though and I found myself still fat (not as fat, but still fat).
And four days ago I decided to just stop with this bullshit and not eat. And it's been so so so easy, I don't know why I haven't started sooner. I've eaten around 800kcal everyday since then (could have been more like 500-600 but I made myself eat some chocolate everyday so as not to binge on it later on) and I don't really feel hungry and it's great, really.
Except I'm cold all the time and my mind feels really really slow... I also feel kinda weak but I suppose that's to be expected. I don't know is this normal? The feeling cold and kinda like you're gonna get a fever the next day and being slow?
I thought about eating at maintenance tomorrow (so around 1600kcal according to the tdee calculator but I'd probably eat max 1200-1300) and the thought kinda scares me and THAT scares me even more. I can't afford therapy and I have no time, I've been basically trying to ignore my depression and everything but maybe it's come back through this now?
But on the other hand it's pretty convenient, I could just keep it up until I'm at my goal weight and then go back to maintenance and then start lifting and not weigh myself?
But... if it's only been four days and I already can't bring myself to think about eating at maintenance how's it gonna be in a few weeks/months? I'm scared and excited and weirdly happy that I'm able to not eat and also really scared that I'm happy.
Any advice? Please?
[Thinspo] I've been losing weight fast!
/u/Gwendilyn [6'7 |CW 260.8lbs| GW 150.00 | -40lbs | MTF]
Created: Tue Nov 7 17:37:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bhmei/ive_been_losing_weight_fast/
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[removed]
[Discussion] How do you take diuretics?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: who knows? | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 7 17:21:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bhiv3/how_do_you_take_diuretics/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Any of you been avid grocery stealers????
/u/LOdowwnlorettabrown
Created: Tue Nov 7 17:17:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bhhyz/any_of_you_been_avid_grocery_stealers/
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Long story short, i stole nearly ALL of my groceries for almost 5 years. What started off as a simple “ring a lime for an avocado” turned into me stealing ALL of my groceries for a majority of my twenties. Never stole anything else, really. That is, until i got caught for the first time this passed July. The guy who caught me wound up being really congenial and was avidly asking if I had some sort of mental illness seeing as i lead a very privileged life and can afford to put food in my mouth. Other than being innately prone to being impulsive, i couldn’t help but think there was some sort of connection to this bad habit (which, I’ve been 4 month strong, NO sticky fingers) and my ED. To an extent my logic was that If i wasn’t paying for my food, it’s less time to think in there, hence less opportunity to buy crap or just anxiety with being in the grocery store in the first place. I’ve read a lot of stories on here where a lot of you go to the store to pass time every day, which still til this day i pretty much do. I was wondering if any of you folks know anyone who’s gone through the same or maybe have some ideas on how stealing + EDs go hand and hand.
PS- a fucked up twist is that the cop that caught me texted me last weekend to GO OUT FOR DRINKS. I’m like this man really hacked my criminal grocery file for my digits...ive now seen it all 😂
Thanks for ur input!
[Rant/Rave] Someone finally noticed my weight loss
/u/TacosGetMeThrough [5'4|28F|SW: 183|CW: 164|GW: 120]
Created: Tue Nov 7 16:59:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bhdy1/someone_finally_noticed_my_weight_loss/
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It has my doctor lol. But no seriously I know I only lost 23 lbs but no one notices because most people I see every day -_- I try to bring it up occasionally but you know how it is don't want to fish for compliments. It came at the right time though as I have been getting down on myself and pretty much forgot I lost weight.
I went to the doctor got on the scale and it was only 3 lbs high (clothes coat etc) so for the first time I didn't hate myself after. Then the nurse said wow you lost 23 lbs since August, then later the doctor said the same thing. I kind of forget the bigger picture, but I have another appointment in 3 months so now I want to make sure I lose 20 some too!!
Yayyy finally.
[Discussion] I tried to think back to last year. I can't.
/u/incognitointodrama [5'9" | CW carrot legs | BMI 22,x | GW 110 | f]
Created: Tue Nov 7 16:42:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bhabc/i_tried_to_think_back_to_last_year_i_cant/
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I don't know why but a year ago i started college so i thought it would be a great time to look at what has changed, what has improved, what's new. But i...dont remember.
And it really scares me. Like, i can remember that i was feeling the worst ever (plus the worst ever ed wise) because i wrote it down in my diary and i have old blog posts, i remember that the days went by but other than that, my memory is missing big chunks. I can recall a couple of days when i went out with friends but even those memories are kind of blurry. I have one blob of general emotion that i remember.
I am so confused right now. Am i going literally crazy? Do i have some kind of brain damage? It's so weird. Like, does this happen? Should i get this checked out?
I'm still on that stupid waiting list for ED therapy but I'll get an appointment in December earliest, latest maybe March. Yeah guys tell me what i should do. Bc i really don't know
[Discussion] Do you keep your meals ingredients minimal?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 7 16:32:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bh820/do_you_keep_your_meals_ingredients_minimal/
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[deleted]
Do y’all ever give yourselves a day off heavy restricting if you feel very sick and lightheaded?
/u/ErgodicInterpolation
Created: Tue Nov 7 16:30:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bh7no/do_yall_ever_give_yourselves_a_day_off_heavy/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Non-gym exercises?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: who knows? | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 7 16:23:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bh63b/nongym_exercises/
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I hope this question makes sense, but what do you guys do to burn calories not at the gym? I was thinking the other day of those old proana Tumblr posts that were like "during commercial breaks on TV, do 20 sit ups, 20 push ups and 20 squats and you'll burn 100 calories", and while obviously it doesn't work that way, it got me thinking about other things you can do during the day that don't take long to burn some extra calories. For example, taking a short walk every hour or fidgeting/knee bouncing while you sit or whatever. Do you guys have any of those that you do or suggestions for things like that that might work?
[Discussion] Weird things that help you restrict?
/u/merewautt
Created: Tue Nov 7 16:03:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bh1lf/weird_things_that_help_you_restrict/
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Do y'all have weird things that help you restrict? Not really things that make sense like appetite suppressants or whatever, but random stuff?
I was thinking about it and random things impact my eating like I eat less in the winter (it's starting to get cold here) and my roommate just got a dog and I haven't binged or gone over my calories since it's been living with us. My little good luck charm lol.
Anywayyy do you all have weird stuff that shouldn't effect your eating habits but does?
[Discussion] who the fuck does abercrombie think wears these jeans?
/u/proudnalgeneowner [5'5 | CW98.5 | GW95 | 16.6 | 17F]
Created: Tue Nov 7 15:43:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bgx55/who_the_fuck_does_abercrombie_think_wears_these/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I haven't posted here in awhile but I could really use some support
/u/like_a_living_thing [5'4" | 115 | F | 👽]
Created: Tue Nov 7 15:35:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bgv8d/i_havent_posted_here_in_awhile_but_i_could_really/
---
So I have been trying to get fit/gain weight, I tend toward orthorexia ED-wise. Even though I'm at a "healthy" weight, I have really low body fat. I don't get a period and I'm cold all the time, and I want to be healthy. So I've been avoiding this sub for obvious reasons.
If you want more background into my living situation, you can check out my post history, I've posted about this before. The gist is that I live with 7 other people, one of whom is my boyfriend, and we are all very close friends. Another part of it is my obese housemate, who I am triggered by OFTEN. This rant is about her.
I swear she has this mental disconnect where she thinks she is this incredibly hot yoga goddess, and she walks around half-naked 80% of the time. I'm talking lacy bralette and spanx. Now, I would not feel comfortable in this stuff or expect others to feel comfortable around me in this stuff all the time, and I am actually super fit. I have visible abs, thigh gap, flat chest. The boyish type you wouldn't really mind walking around in that stuff. However, she's obese. Her spanx don't cover half her butt, her gut hangs out, and her tiny lacy bralettes do not provide enough support. I'm all for body positivity but the way she dresses makes me VERY uncomfortable.
Furthermore, it makes me feel like I need to compensate by being skinnier. I have been trying to lift, put on muscle, get my period back. It feels so impossible around her. I eat underneath my TDEE every day and am visibly getting thinner. I WANT to bulk. I try to eat more, but I'm honestly so triggered by the way she dresses and acts, it makes it so hard. I feel like every time I see her gut all I want to do is starve myself. All commiserations and advice are very welcome.
[Discussion] Has anyone tried replacing/diluting milk with water?
/u/2girly4me [5'6 | SW 145# | CW 135# | GW 120# | 20F]
Created: Tue Nov 7 15:25:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bgsvh/has_anyone_tried_replacingdiluting_milk_with_water/
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[removed]
[Discussion] [Discussion] Has anyone tried replacing/diluting milk with water?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 7 15:24:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bgskn/discussion_has_anyone_tried_replacingdiluting/
---
[deleted]
Salt water cleanse
/u/randomsombanana
Created: Tue Nov 7 15:23:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bgsee/salt_water_cleanse/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Just finished my first fast over 24 hours. 69 HOURS
/u/TerracottaFlower [5'6 | CW 133lbs | GW 120lbs | UG 110lbs | -44lbs]
Created: Tue Nov 7 14:40:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bghb6/just_finished_my_first_fast_over_24_hours_69_hours/
---
Lmao @ 69
Going to weigh myself after the next BM but I've already started fasting again. I guess it wasn't real fasting, it was liquids only but I could have tea with sugar in and low cal hot chocolate.
Really getting some success from November <3 Who knew being stoned constantly could help stop eating 😌
[Help] Restricting, fearing of triggering bf
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 7 14:36:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bggb2/restricting_fearing_of_triggering_bf/
---
[deleted]
[Help] Thanksgiving with my SO’s Parents
/u/OctopusAddiction
Created: Tue Nov 7 14:32:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bgfci/thanksgiving_with_my_sos_parents/
---
Every time I see my boyfriends parents they comment on my weight. So I know I’m going to have to deal with it this year. His dad is a body builder so I guess that’s the first thing he sees in a person? Then his mom chimes in, “you’re too skinny blah blah blah you need to eat a cheese burger” whatever can they be more cliche?
But I never know what to say back. I am 5’3 103lbs so I’m not that bad. If anyone has some good comebacks please share in the comments below. They’re from the south so anything that sounds nice but is actually kinda rude (I believe they’re called backhanded compliments) are welcome. Southerners love to pull that shit. Thanks in advance :)
[Tip] Does anyone have tips for getting through the munchies?
/u/puggaho
Created: Tue Nov 7 14:21:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bgcmp/does_anyone_have_tips_for_getting_through_the/
---
So I stopped smoking because I was looking for a new job and it was so much easier to restrict. I really struggle with my will power when high so it's hard. Last night I finally managed to smoke without eating anything afterwards but does anyone have any tips?
[Help] Constant nausea, need advice
/u/graesticks
Created: Tue Nov 7 13:50:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bg4s9/constant_nausea_need_advice/
---
Since i am on mobile, please flair as help
Lately I cannot eat ANYTHING without feeling nauseous and an upset stomach. I fasted for 60 hours straight last week and felt great. But now I have been having one 300-400 calorie meal a day the last few days and every single time I have the worst upset stomach afterwards. It makes me not want to eat at all. Does anyone have any advice?
[Rant/Rave] Is anyone else extra hungry for no reason?
/u/ThisIsGumpy [Height 5'1| CW 112| GW 100]
Created: Tue Nov 7 13:08:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bfu99/is_anyone_else_extra_hungry_for_no_reason/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I bought Gerber Lil Crunchies & Cereal Puffs on Amazon and the package was sent to the wrong address...
/u/girlinschool
Created: Tue Nov 7 12:16:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bfhay/i_bought_gerber_lil_crunchies_cereal_puffs_on/
---
USPS delivered my package to the wrong address. I know because Amazon takes photos of delivered items, and the photo isn't my front house.
Now my fucking day is ruined. I'm pretty sure among many things that I have, I also have OCD because I cannot get it out of my mind. The thought of someone taking my stuff that I've purchased makes my skin crawl. I don't care if they wonder why I bought baby food. I hope they do think it is for a baby so they'd feel guilty as fuck stealing food from toddlers.
And my diet was all preplanned perfectly. I was looking forward to it ever since I purchased it. Now I just want to go back to bed and sleep for the next 2 days.
Sorry for this rant. I'm so frustrated at everything. At life, at myself, at my home, one of the reasons is because it's a dead end street and I'm sure that contributes to the reason why I've had multiple troubles with lost packages (they've delivered at the wrong address before and I think it's because they hate coming to this street) and I also hate my neighborhood, and at the USPS.
Though I'm not mad at Amazon because they're sending me a replacement for one item and a refund for the other so I had to purchase again. I love them. Although I just checked the item again and the price decreased $3. ugghhh
I hate my life. I'm feeling the urge to rip hair out of my head again like I did when I was in middle school.
[Rant/Rave] Switched From Latuda to Abilify
/u/NightLightCrimes96
Created: Tue Nov 7 12:13:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bfgew/switched_from_latuda_to_abilify/
---
I'm on a bunch of different medications for bipolar disorder and my new psychiatrist switched out latuda for abilify a few weeks ago. For the past week, I've had no appetite, which is a big change from my previously HUGE, ENDLESS need for food. It feels so good not to think about food all the time! I'm just worried that if I think about my lack of appetite too much, I'll end up jinxing it or something. Fingers crossed that this is a permanent thing!
[Help] Jumping Jacks, calories burned?
/u/allafternooninlove
Created: Tue Nov 7 11:45:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bf94s/jumping_jacks_calories_burned/
---
Hi there.
I hope it's okay to ask.
I wonder how many calories 100 jumping jacks burn?
I'm 5'7 and weight 130lbs.
I have googled, but all the sites I come across says very different numbers, so I wonder if anyone here know exactly. Thank you.
Edit: When I do my jumpin jacks, I always do 100. I do them pretty intense and quick. So I breath heavy and make my heart beat pretty fast.
[Rant/Rave] Quest Bar Alert: BIRTHDAY CAKE FLAVOR HAS BEEN RELEASED
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 151.5 | GW: 118 | -15.3 | F24]
Created: Tue Nov 7 11:33:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bf64v/quest_bar_alert_birthday_cake_flavor_has_been/
---
Yall, birthday cake quest bars are here and they're 180kcal! Taste TBD, but rejoicing all the same lmao
[Discussion] Morning rituals??
/u/jjfmish [5'6 | HW:163lbs CW:148lbs GW:120lbs | 19/F]
Created: Tue Nov 7 11:31:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bf5oa/morning_rituals/
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I've realized that I have some seriously fucked up morning rituals that I do in relation to weight/body checking.
After I go to the bathroom and before I eat or drink anything I:
- Weigh myself and record the number on happy scale and MFP
- Take my waist measurement
- Try on three pairs of shorts that I bought in the summer that are all big now and take a picture of how much extra room there is around the waist
Of course, I only do this if I didn't binge the night before lol
[Help] I want to ask something
/u/Hextoria
Created: Tue Nov 7 11:28:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bf4qf/i_want_to_ask_something/
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[removed]
[Help] MFP not even letting me set a calorie goal below 1200 now????
/u/SomeoneCoolerThanYou [5'6" | CW 148.2 | -38.8 lbs | UGW 107 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Nov 7 11:26:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bf4gc/mfp_not_even_letting_me_set_a_calorie_goal_below/
---
I'm not super sure if this is allowed but I know I can't ask anyone on the MFP sub.
Okay so I was just checking my goals in the app, went back to my diary and it's like "oh you have 499 calories remaining!!" after I logged my planned meals for the day, which had me like "?!?!?"
So I saw it was set at 1200 and not my usual 800, so I clicked on calories and now it's just not even giving me the option to change it. I can set goals for all the nutritional stuff, but not calories.
Is this like the result of an update or something? Am I just not navigating the app I've used every day four 7 months? So confused.
Edit: It let me change it back through the website and not the app, but still annoying.
I forgot to pack lunch for work today
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 7 11:22:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bf374/i_forgot_to_pack_lunch_for_work_today/
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[deleted]
5 bite diet
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 7 11:18:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bf27x/5_bite_diet/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bf27x/5_bite_diet/
[Discussion] Looking for personal experiences with laxatives over long period of time or otherwise
/u/acloudlesssky
Created: Tue Nov 7 11:16:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bf1iq/looking_for_personal_experiences_with_laxatives/
---
I just need to hear from someone who has been down this road, how do they affect you long term? I know we experience different side effects and symptoms cuz we don’t use them as directed per se. I like laxes after a binge because I can feel like I’ve done something to deal with it, but I need to know what I’m doing to myself.
Thanks xoxo
When you wanna be thick but you don't wanna be thick.
/u/ExtraQueerrestrial
Created: Tue Nov 7 10:39:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bes1x/when_you_wanna_be_thick_but_you_dont_wanna_be/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Finally convinced myself that purging is ok
/u/YourNow
Created: Tue Nov 7 10:33:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7beqlp/finally_convinced_myself_that_purging_is_ok/
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[removed]
[Help] Is a digital scale more accurate than non-digital?
/u/snow-faerie
Created: Tue Nov 7 10:24:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7beo9r/is_a_digital_scale_more_accurate_than_nondigital/
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I notice when I weigh myself at my house (non digital), vs other house (digital), that I weigh more on the digital one. :/ Anyone know which one is better? Do you just assume you're somewhere in between? It's like a 2-3 lb difference but it makes me frustrated not being able to accurately track my progress.
[Rant/Rave] My girlfriend doesn't"respect" my eating disorder
/u/Hellah8ed [5'11 | 17.7| 127lbs | M]
Created: Tue Nov 7 09:52:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7begb0/my_girlfriend_doesntrespect_my_eating_disorder/
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My girlfriend is aware of my eating disorder and I feel like she doesn't"respect" it. She coaxes me to eat and asks me every day what I've eaten, and I'm tired of lying to her about what I've eaten (when I haven't eaten anything). I feel like I'm gaining a lot of unnecessary weight in our relationship because she's good at tricking me; by making food she knows I love. I know that she's struggling as well and just wants what's best for me as of course it's not fun to have a partner with eating disorder, but by constantly talking about what and how much I eat and getting mad when I don't eat, I feel like I'm suffocating. I love her of course, but sometimes I feel like if we break up, I could finally feel comfortable with my eating habits. And really, when I'm at my most logical, I know that's a dumbass reason to leave someone you love... ugh.
Can anyone relate? If you can, how do you cope?
(Telling her to back off and not mind my eating habits won't work, she's really stubborn)
[Rant/Rave] Fasting
/u/RainyDayDaydream [5'7 | GW: Air | Lady]
Created: Tue Nov 7 09:47:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7beez7/fasting/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I'm a terrible person lmao
/u/FlabbyWhiteThighs [5'4"|117lb|22F]
Created: Tue Nov 7 09:45:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7beelh/im_a_terrible_person_lmao/
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Two years ago or so, my bulimic roommate gave me the sweatpants she wore at inpatient at her lowest weight. She bequeathed them to me when she was cleaning her closet of all her "skinny clothes." I'm a good 18 pounds from my goal weight and 28 pounds from my lowest, but it still makes me smile to wear them. I don't live with her anymore. Still, that makes a shitty friend. But at this point idgaf ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
[Rant/Rave] My mom is amazing guys...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 7 09:42:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bedop/my_mom_is_amazing_guys/
---
[deleted]
[Help] Ear pain and dizziness related to ed?
/u/bagelzboi [5'3 | CW:85bs | 21F]
Created: Tue Nov 7 09:39:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bed3b/ear_pain_and_dizziness_related_to_ed/
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I've been having weird ringing and not being able to hear properly for about a week? I just tried to shower and I got super dizzy and nauseous and the ringing got really loud ended up having to get out of shower to lie on the floor because I was scared. Is this related to ed or am I dying because of something else?
[Rant/Rave] Spending time at home and fucked up ED dreams
/u/cuttoarose
Created: Tue Nov 7 09:24:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7be979/spending_time_at_home_and_fucked_up_ed_dreams/
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I was back home for just a few days and I swear I can already see a difference.... I just have to use the time I have back in school to get myself back on track. Yesterday was weird, I didnt feel exactly hungry at the time I usually do. By the early evening I am usually so excited to finally start eating, but yesterday I had no desire to go for an actual meal. My food on the first day back home ended up being.....
* Apple
* Small Yogurt with Granola
* Microwave Popcorn (1 serving)
For fucks sake man why do I still feel awful?? Guys I had this dream... this dream where I was outside by my local lake and I was watching YouTube and eating what I can describe as a Hostess style wrapped confection with oreo flavored cake and cookies baked into it. Pretty delicious. In my dream I had planned to have TWO of these little monsters, but I ultimately ate one and ripped the next one in half, throwing the remains into the water. A voice came and said
"Ha why are you so worried? For fucks sake don't you remember what you ate today? Apple, yogurt and granola, and fucking POPCORN. That's a WHOPPING total of.... 450 calories... come on, are you kidding me"
Soon I'll be home for several weeks. I'm gonna gain a bit, its inevitable. But I know that I WILL go back to school and have all the time in the world to get back on track. Gains do not have to be permanent.
[Help] Hypocrite
/u/waywardzero
Created: Tue Nov 7 09:22:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7be8x4/hypocrite/
---
I noticed some ED behaviors in my friend and brought it up to her. I said something about pro Ana websites and she pressured me into showing her which I realize now I definitely should not have done that but I did. Now I’ve seen her picking up on my ways to get out of eating. I care about her so much but I also don’t want to eat more. I don’t know what to do. She was bragging about losing 7 pounds in a week. I don’t know where else to go for help because it would show how I eat, maybe that’s just selfish but I’m no where near my goal weight. Do any of your have advice?
[Tip] Weird munchie relief
/u/WeighingDown [5'2" | 108 | 20.46 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 7 09:08:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7be5eh/weird_munchie_relief/
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I have been avoiding alcohol again since it is so high calorie and anything I've learned to help deal with my bpd just vanishes when I get drunk. That means I have been smoking weed a lot more. I used to really struggle with the munchies but I found this strange relief I really didn't think would work: watching food! I watch tutorials and How It's Made for all sorts of vegetarian and vegan goodies (meat makes me so uncomfy) and I feel so satisfied and disgusted and I have no desire to eat! It's amazing. I also use gum, tea, and carrot sticks when I feel like I might get close to a binge while high.
What are some of your favourite ways of getting rid of your munchies?
[Rant/Rave] I just weighed myself
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 111 | GW: 105 | M/15]
Created: Tue Nov 7 09:08:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7be59i/i_just_weighed_myself/
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[removed]
[Discussion] How do you justify..
/u/tattoosandcoffeee [5'3.75 | GW 100 | -20]
Created: Tue Nov 7 08:58:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7be2mi/how_do_you_justify/
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How to you guys justify in your head when the scale goes up and down so much while heavily restricting/fasting. I fast three times a week 0 calories and its been very consistent until last week. I'm losing/gaining the same .5 pounds I feel like. I had less than 500 calories yesterday and today I'm up .5 ...I'm fasting again today-Thursday so I will update the fluctuations, but its disheartening to KNOW in my mind I've not eaten a single thing or very little and i'm gaining. I try to rationalize and tell myself its water retention, no BM, you haven't peed, etc but its starting to get to me.
[Help] Higher calorie but safe foods.
/u/OscarTehOctopus
Created: Tue Nov 7 08:49:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7be0m9/higher_calorie_but_safe_foods/
---
Not sure if this is appropriate here, but couldn't think of anywhere else to put it.
I'm trying to maintain, which has had mixed results so far, lol. I also joined a gym and my husband just called me out big time on eating back my exercise calories but I'm really struggling to eat enough already. I finish dinner bloated and full (And feeling extra gross) with 2-400 calories left over.
Most of my diet is high fiber plant based meals (although I am ovo-lacto vegetarian), so I really need to focus on more higher calorie stuff, but "unhealthy" food is way to scary or will trigger a binge. I plan on getting protein powder soon (although I find protein shakes kinda filling), and I don't like nut butter enough to eat straight but putting them in a sandwich is to much right now.
I feel like I'm being difficult right now, but does anyone else have any suggestions for higher calorie foods that still feel safe and healthy (and maybe are cheap sorry).
[Rant/Rave] 3 months vegan
/u/randomsombanana
Created: Tue Nov 7 08:34:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bdwxg/3_months_vegan/
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I'm vegan about 3 months now and I get triggered so hard seeing meat it's crazy. I've never been grossed out by regular meat, but since 2 weeks even the thought of it makes me sick. I even dream about it and it terrified me so much. Can anyone relate? And my boyfriend keeps coming up with glorifying it, sending me pictures etc. just to mock me and it really bothers me. Don't know if it's just me going nuts or if it's reasonable.
[Rant/Rave] I’ve been seriously fucking up (long rant ahead)
/u/emmylou_lou
Created: Tue Nov 7 07:08:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bddla/ive_been_seriously_fucking_up_long_rant_ahead/
---
So I know for a fact that I’ve gained but I’m way too fucking scared to get on the scale. I’ve been eating so goddamn much, especially on the weekends when I’m at my boyfriend’s. I’ve actually even been eating more than him and he’s almost a foot taller than me. It’s been ridiculous and then I found out that I have hella money on my dining food card for the university I’m at, so I literally have to spend $30 a day to use the rest of it because nothing will roll over.
I’m not the type of person to let money go to waste but I’m thinking if I ONLY get salads, veggies, Diet Coke, and those naked juices (If do 2/3rds water and drink it throughout the day) plus obv coffee and tea then I’ll be able to spend it all and stop fucking gaining so much weight like a fat fucking cow.
Yesterday I looked at myself naked and just cried and I can’t take it anymore. I just take up so much fucking space and it hurts so bad. Whenever I try and eat normally I binge like crazy and then this fucking happens. I just hate every goddamn inch of my body and I don’t want to die but I just don’t want to be me.
Side rant: I also feel so fucking bald. I had dreads for two years and they went down to my waist but they were super heavy and I am going to be starting to apply for internships so I combed them out, but I had so many split ends that my hair is now shoulder lengths. I feel like it makes me look even fatter and I’m just so fucking over everything about this stupid potato fucking body. Liquid fast until my birthday here I fucking come.
[Other] Want to heavily restrict today, but my coworker brought in donuts.
/u/agent_philcoulson [5'4" | CW: 134 | GW: 120 | UGW: 110]
Created: Tue Nov 7 07:01:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bdc51/want_to_heavily_restrict_today_but_my_coworker/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Skins makes me lose weight
/u/Borderline-Crazy
Created: Tue Nov 7 06:16:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bd3cg/skins_makes_me_lose_weight/
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I was diagnosed with EDNOS when I was a teenager. Around that time I had shut myself off from people, and used to watch the TV show Skins alllllllllll the time.
I recently, four years and 70lbs+ later, started rewatching it. And it's bringing back the nostalgia of watching it and avoiding eating and throwing up what I did eat, and it's making me act that way again.
I'm gonna keep watching it, over and over, until I get back to being thin. Kinda feel like I'm shutting people off, but I'd rather be alone and thin, than surrounded by people and obese.
[Discussion] November 7th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 7 05:14:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bcs7j/november_7th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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Who is your hero?
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday November 07, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Nov 7 05:10:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bcris/thinspo_tuesday_november_07_2017/
---
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 07, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Nov 7 05:10:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bcri1/daily_food_diary_november_07_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 07, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] Getting an enhancement but still feeling like restricting
/u/poppybex
Created: Tue Nov 7 05:02:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bcq2b/getting_an_enhancement_but_still_feeling_like/
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I'm finally getting a boob job after years of suffering with tuberous breasts, it ruined my self esteem on top of that my sex life. Other than the body dysmorphia caused by being overweight and dealing with an ED all my life. Has any of you went under the knife for a boob job? I'm getting this today and I'm stoked/anxious at the same time!
[Other] Finished my first ever 24h+ fast, proceeded to buy all the candy bars I could carry.
/u/yesyeshihello [157cm | CW: 42.4kg | BMI: 17.2 | 27F]
Created: Tue Nov 7 04:09:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bcia3/finished_my_first_ever_24h_fast_proceeded_to_buy/
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36 hours. I'm so so proud, I never though I'd be able to go even 24h. Fasting is just not my thing.
Was feeling way too fainty this morning so I had a 165 calorie smoothie and broke my fast. Then a 100 calorie protein bar.
Then I got up, mid work, **being openly vegan**, boss in the meeting room looking at me (glass walls), go to the supermarket in front of our office and buy ALL the chocolate candy bars. **MILK CHOCOLATE** candy bars.
I got a twix bar, a double snickers bar, three different single serving milka bars, a kinder bueno, and a toffee crisp. Just everything I could fit in my hands.
I haven't eaten them yet. Lunch time is in two hours... And I guess I got them for lunch? I mean it's not like I'm eating milk chocolate in front of my coworkers, I'd never be able to pass up a non-vegan piece of cake ever again. I have no idea what the fuck I was thinking. I laughed like an idiot as the cashier commented on the INSANE AMOUNT of candy I had.
What am I doing.
I don't even feel bad about it. I don't understand my brain anymore.
PLS SEND HELP.
**After lunch edit**: The twix bar, both snickers, the toffee crisp and half the kinder bueno are now gone. Kinder buenos are gross, btw.
I'm not even slightly bothered by this. What the hell is wrong with me...
**20h edit**: Only one single serving Milka bar survived the 40 minute drive home. And the gross kinder bueno.
Decided I was going to purge so I got home, ate some bread with leftover vegan bolognese sauce and a bunch of gingerbread cookies, and I went to town until my stomach was as empty as my bank account after a month-long binge session. Now I'm waiting for dinner.
Don't know what will happen to that last bar, but I think I'm done with chocolate. Got it out of my system for now.
[Help] What is the correspondence between step count and TDEE activity level?
/u/usernameblahhhhh
Created: Tue Nov 7 04:04:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bchmd/what_is_the_correspondence_between_step_count_and/
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Idk. My fitbit is shit and completely overestimates my calories burned, so I really have no idea what my TDEE is. I'm 1.53m and 80 lbs, and all I know is that my TDEE is somewhere between 1800-2400 which is such a huge range lmao. Anyway...Most online TDEE calculators distinguish activity level by the categories: sedentary, light exercise, moderate exercise, heavy exercise, and athlete.
What step counts correspond with each category? I average 40,000-45,000 steps a day but I find it really really hard to consider myself an "athlete" or even "highly active" because I'm just walking and not doing intensive cardio. Any ideas? Is this highly active, athletic, or moderately active? It's so frustrating to not know.
[Discussion] Ever binge on a craving hoping it goes away for good?
/u/exgravitas [F/24/160 | CW 55 | GW 48.5]
Created: Tue Nov 7 03:48:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bcf42/ever_binge_on_a_craving_hoping_it_goes_away_for/
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Sometimes I’ll eat a horrendous amount of chocolate in hopes that I’ll get sick of it to the point I won’t be able to look at it again. It happened once with mushrooms where I ate so much in one sitting that I just couldn’t stand them for a good few years. Not the case with chocolate, unfortunately... Though that doesn’t stop me from going “this time it’ll work” every few weeks.
[Help] EC stacking in the UK?
/u/PixTheFairy [5"0 | CW 122 | BMI 23.6 | HW 150lbs | UGW 90lbs]
Created: Tue Nov 7 03:38:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bcdut/ec_stacking_in_the_uk/
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I'm not sure how I would go about getting into EC stacking as I don't think you can buy ephedrine tabs in the UK? Someone correct me if I'm wrong?
Food completely repulses me at the moment but I want to get past the hunger easier. I'm not ready to face it yet. But I need the energy to work, I love my job.
[Help] I don't know how to purge without sounding like a cow.
/u/IttyBittyBatty [5'5"| -14.2lb | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 7 03:11:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bc9wp/i_dont_know_how_to_purge_without_sounding_like_a/
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[removed]
[Help] relationship advice PLEASE
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 7 01:51:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bbzf9/relationship_advice_please/
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[deleted]
[Intro] intro?
/u/dntlkatme
Created: Tue Nov 7 01:23:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bbvtf/intro/
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I've been a lurker for a while, and I've honestly had to change accounts a few times because of it. i dont suer know what the point of this post is other than i literally have no-one from you all(ps. please ignore) to tell. Ive had an ed(ana.restriction)-since I was 12(haha thanks mom and bfs. my first bf praised me for being skinny fed into me getting to my lowest weight ever(100-which i know isnt even anything.....), my second acknowledged that a had a problem but made me feel SO bad about it that i literally would eat for him(welcome +30lbs bc alcohol and normal eating habits) then when he left(yes, he straight up out of nowhere left me, like i came home from from work and everything he owned was gone) i felt like it was me... because i got fat AND NOW a. he wants me back(which i said no to- literal personal party on that one)- but B. i have a guy that I met- out of the blue, like i wasnt looking but met at a bar/3+days later and we click. BUT I am 30lbs less than when ex left me....which im god with. but thats all like. stress/cardio/anger weight loss. and this man...who is BEAUTIFUL keeps praising my body. which is horrifying on so many levels to me....mostly because i eat in front of him/save meals(only meal for day) for him. so he thinks i can eat pizza and be ok looking. idk i just....fuck i HATED that my last boyfriend knew i had an ED because he used it against me. but I also realizes that at some point this new boy will notice and that i dont eat or when i do its only vegetables. i know could maaaybe spin it for a while so he dosent super know....? buit does that work, i know ive seen things about supportive s/o's but how supportive are they? fuck. im so sorry you guys.
Longg rant/essay short- boys are terrible and i am realizing new people maybe don't want to deal with a crazy ana bitch!
[Discussion] I'm so afraid to eat carbs, red meats and sugar again.
/u/IHateBloodElves [5'3" | 136 | 25 | -38 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 7 01:03:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bbt20/im_so_afraid_to_eat_carbs_red_meats_and_sugar/
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Hi there.
Since I already posted that I was the "fatty pro ED person", I'm here to write about personal eating habits. When I'm fasting, I cut almost everything because I'm obsessed with food.
Carbs freak the fuck out of me. Same for sugars, even those in fruits, and red meats. So I usually eat vegetables, soups, white meats and fish sometimes and I drink a huge amount of water and non sugared-tea.
[Rant/Rave] Tracking and measurement challenge?
/u/happychanges [5'11.5"| C: 165 | 22.28 | -26 |]
Created: Tue Nov 7 00:17:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bbmv7/tracking_and_measurement_challenge/
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[removed]
[Goal] I refuse to consider this year lost.
/u/daeboo [5ft1.5🌕98.6lbs | GW 1: 86lbs]
Created: Mon Nov 6 23:58:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bbjzb/i_refuse_to_consider_this_year_lost/
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It hasn't gone well. I've gained 20lbs binging daily since the beginning of the school year. Nothings been according to plan. I barely graduated last year, I'm struggling to keep up in school now. Even my November goals have fallen to shit. Today, I ate over 4000 calories and 30 laxatives.
I am also stubborn. I refuse to consider this year lost. Tomorrow I'm going to liquid fast with some almond milk and try, for the millionth time, to start again. Every day is another chance. Every minute is another chance. I know whats wrong, I can fix it. I can fix it.
There might be less than two months left but if I play it right I could be at my UGW by the new year. I just need to do the right thing. I know I can do the right thing.
[Discussion] Rituals before Weighing?
/u/conormangan [6'1.5 | 200 | BMI 26.05 | -17 | LW 122 | GW 140 | UGW 110 | 18 M]
Created: Mon Nov 6 23:58:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bbjwq/rituals_before_weighing/
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Does anyone have anything that they have to do before they weigh themselves?
I always use the bathroom first, take all of my clothes off, I always try to weigh at the same time and on the same day of the week, and I weigh myself in the morning so I try not to drink water until after I've weighed.
What about you?
[Rant/Rave] Sometimes I think I'm making some great progress...
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Mon Nov 6 23:44:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bbhu8/sometimes_i_think_im_making_some_great_progress/
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[removed]
[Help] How to successfully restrict during stressful times
/u/Someone_Who_Isnt_You
Created: Mon Nov 6 23:11:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bbcsf/how_to_successfully_restrict_during_stressful/
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I'm trying to restrict and lose 20 pounds before New Years, but as always, my life gets super stressful any time I seriously try to lose weight. My dad left my family, I don't know how I'm going to pay my university tuition, my husband is getting deployed to Afghanistan, my mom and I keep fighting, etc. I feel like I'm going insane. I'm trying hard to be "healthy" I'm trying not to cut myself or shoot up, so I just binge like an idiot.
Does anyone have any advice on how to restrict when you're stressed out? Or how can I avoid binge eating when it's one of my go-to coping mechanisms?
[Rant/Rave] So Fucking Sick of This
/u/til_wednesday [5'8" | CW: 110 lbs | GW: 100 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Nov 6 22:11:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bb2kz/so_fucking_sick_of_this/
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i will never recover.
i may try.
i may try and enjoy cheesecake with my boyfriend, maybe even grab nachos with my mom later that night and eat until i'm distended and round.
but it always comes back in the morning, to tell me i'm worthless, that thinness is all i have, that i cannot be "normal", that atrophy is an aspiration.
does anyone relate to this? no matter what, i will never be "recovered". i am nothing without this.
[Rant/Rave] Realizing I've always had disordered eating habits (rant)
/u/vctrlcs [5'6" | CW: 155.8 | GW: 130 | UGW: 115 | BMI: 25.1 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 6 22:06:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bb1lq/realizing_ive_always_had_disordered_eating_habits/
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Only recently started flat out restricting + fasting, but looking back even as a kid I had weird eating habits. Like I could never eat meat unless it was ground up (like ground beef or whatever) because I hated eating chunks of fat and sinew. And I refused to eat eggs with milk in them... and i often purged my breakfast. Soooo I'm more convinced than ever that my disordered eating is correlated to my childhood trauma. Great.
[Discussion] Body fat = trigger?
/u/vctrlcs [5'6" | CW: 155.8 | GW: 130 | UGW: 115 | BMI: 25.1 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 6 21:33:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bavmy/body_fat_trigger/
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DAE pinch their own body fat (like on the hips, stomach, etc) and then get really upset by how much of it there is? I've noticed that I do this obsessively
[Other] teacher thought I was underweight.
/u/cloudsofdawn [169cm - 5'6.5' | CW: 119.9lbs | 19.1 BMI | -23lbs | F]
Created: Mon Nov 6 21:11:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7barbc/teacher_thought_i_was_underweight/
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Today I was talking to my favourite teacher. Had her for the last 4 years as an art teacher, and I’m a senior now (but a year older than my class). I didn’t go to school last week due to chronic pain and a lot of stress (I’ve had a really shitty October), so I talked to her about what’s been going on. She had an idea about most of it already because we keep in touch and are ‘friends’ of sorts. We were talking about Christmas baking and I said I had to prepare for the Christmas weight, and she was like “you could gain 25 pounds and you’d still be small”. I was immediately like “noooooooo. No I wouldn’t” I said. she was like “you’re at a healthy bmi for your weight?” I said yes, she asked if I was sure and and told her that I estimated it was somewhere in the low-mid 20’s (this is accurate, I need to update my flair thanks to binging) and that my normal weight is actually lower, but I have a very small body frame and small organs (this is true).
She seemed pretty unconvinced that I was at a healthy BMI and damn it felt good.
[Other] My meds actually made me lose my appetite :0
/u/DayddyLonglegs
Created: Mon Nov 6 21:08:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7baqte/my_meds_actually_made_me_lose_my_appetite_0/
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[removed]
Ana buddy
/u/Elizawitch
Created: Mon Nov 6 21:02:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7bapkm/ana_buddy/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Go to Meals?
/u/smallest_madeline [F 5'1" | CW 98.8 | BMI 19.5 | HW 125 | LW 80| GW 85]
Created: Mon Nov 6 20:01:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7badnh/go_to_meals/
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What's everyone's go-to easy meals when restricting? I'm getting tired of my spinach salad and scrambled eggs. I have basically been binging/fasting/binging/fasting but I'm trying to get back to restricting but so sick of what I normally eat
[Rant/Rave] Doctor’s appointment frustration
/u/athrwoaway123
Created: Mon Nov 6 19:26:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ba6hv/doctors_appointment_frustration/
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I had my annual physical today with a new doctor. I was trying to be honest and told her I was seeing a nutritionist. So she immediately assumed I was going to the nutritionist for weight loss*. So basically, she told me I’m fat. Which I am, but I really, really, really didn’t need to hear that from her.
I’ve been moderate about restricting lately because I’m really scared people at work will judge me if I lose weight too fast. Not anymore though. And I know this is all in my head, but I spin out so fast when things like this happen.
That’s all. Thanks for reading my rant.
/* I am not going to the nutritionist for weight loss. I originally went to the nutritionist to normalize my eating to get myself out of this disordered mess. But I gained a fuckton of weight following her food plan. So I stopped following it and started losing again. I’m still seeing her though (she actually knows I am abusing my adderal and doing disordered eating). My plan is that once I get myself back down to a weight I can tolerate, then I’ll address the eating disorder with her again, but this time I’ll lay out better ground rules on the foodplan so I don’t gain weight this time (hopefully I am not being too delusional about this).
[Help] people rely on me but i'm so unreliable
/u/proudnalgeneowner [5'5 | CW98.5 | GW95 | 16.6 | 17F]
Created: Mon Nov 6 19:26:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ba6di/people_rely_on_me_but_im_so_unreliable/
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sorry this got super long, even if you only read part of it, a reply would mean a lot to me
I'm currently on what I call "junior year: take 2" because I was out of school from october to february last year. I've technically been on my school's robotics team for two years, but last year I wasn't really there at all for build season. all my friends are from robotics though and i'd be so alone without them.
this year, our former software lead is the captain, so the software lead position opened up. I was the only one who ran, so here I am,in charge of a department of 3 or 4 people. the problem is I actually suck at everything and I don't know how to code a robot and I feel like everyone's mad at me. I'm so tired and out of it all the time from restricting and sleep deprivation. everything is getting bad again, and my inability to fulfill my role just makes me feel shittier and want to restrict more.
this is coupled with the fact that our meetings are scheduled during the horrible crash of my ADHD meds. It's hell. I'm having one of those moments of clarity and I know i can't go on like this forever and I can't do recovery alone. going back to residential has so many drawbacks though, I would be back barely in time for robotics build season if even that. my department would have to prepare without me, i'd have to rely on my dad to feed my fish and clean their tank, i'd cause everyone a lot of anxiety, and I'd have to gain about 20 pounds as fast as i could manage. ALSO I almost forgot: I'd miss more school and be even more behind, oh joy. I don't need a junior year: take 3 on my hands.
and I'm too fat to go now. I was 93 when i went last year and I have to be at least that if I go back. don't ask me where that rule came from, i know it's fucking stupid and counterproductive.
but maybe i'll be able to maintain properly and I won't have to go back to resi, or at least wait until next summer to go. I'll probably feel less shitty when i'm maintaining my UGW (88) than I do now trying to restrict while doing everything else too.
YouTube: Hannah Starving [2:49:07]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 6 18:35:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b9vfx/youtube_hannah_starving_24907/
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https://youtu.be/re-JVkzyEa0
[Discussion] DAE wonder about proED demographics?
/u/swagcat9000 [5'5" | 131 lbs | 21.8 | -37 | M |]
Created: Mon Nov 6 18:20:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b9sjq/dae_wonder_about_proed_demographics/
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(discussion flair pls)
So I’ve been thinking about this a lot...
I wish there were some measured demographics of proED because how cool would that be?
I would love to know the gender makeup/average age/all the STATISTICS.
Maybe I’m being a nerd but it would be neat.
Anyone relate?
[Help] Calorie guesstimate ?!
/u/Idunnoking
Created: Mon Nov 6 18:08:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b9pz7/calorie_guesstimate/
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https://i.redd.it/zo603t41egwz.jpg
[Discussion] DAE feel like Target vanity sizes like crazy?
/u/cybermua
Created: Mon Nov 6 18:06:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b9phe/dae_feel_like_target_vanity_sizes_like_crazy/
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IMO they run a size or two large for almost all their women’s clothing. I wear a 0 in Target’s jeans but have other jeans that are a 26 or 27 that seem to fit fine. Doesn’t a 0 generally scale to a 24?
YOU ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 6 17:53:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b9mu2/you_are_all_beautiful/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Lax tea
/u/gayishfish [5'7" | CW: embarrassing | BMI: high | -9 lbs | 23F]
Created: Mon Nov 6 16:51:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b99bm/lax_tea/
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What is your experience with laxative teas? Are they powerful? Do they work like most laxatives or are they more gentle?
I really want to try some, but im reluctant...
I would love to hear your opinions!!
[Rant/Rave] Pros & Cons of Dating
/u/loseitjen [5'8 |SW 140|CW 128|GW 115| F21]
Created: Mon Nov 6 16:19:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b928o/pros_cons_of_dating/
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So I started seeing a new guy and I have mixed feelings. Not about him, just the process in general lol.
Pros: someone is finally seeing me naked & can appreciate the hard work I'm putting in! Also, he complimented my hip bones and kept feeling them ugh god bless😍
Cons: why does it seem like every date has to be centered around eating😭 I feel like a jerk not finishing food he buys me/turning down food dates, esp cause he always seems to be hungry lol
So anyway! Happy about him, not happy about all the food lol
[Rant/Rave] Going down the rabbit hole.
/u/the-watermeloner [too many lbs | 5'4.25" | -10? lbs | 14f]
Created: Mon Nov 6 16:10:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b90at/going_down_the_rabbit_hole/
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I go through lapses of disordered eating (typically binge/restrict, I lose a bit and maintain for the most part) and somewhat normal (but mostly binge-y) phases where I eat til I'm sick a lot and tend to gain a few pounds. I can feel myself falling into the second half.
I'm terrified. I don't know what to do to make myself stop. It's these phases where I become very depressed and suicidal and lose my motivation to do pretty much anything.
Can anyone relate? I feel desperately alone.
[Rant/Rave] I feel like I'm losing control.
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5'4" | 123 | 21.4 | GW: 115 | NB]
Created: Mon Nov 6 15:56:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b8wo3/i_feel_like_im_losing_control/
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So it's me, I never really left but I'm back. I'm trying to recover, really I am but eating normally makes me feel out of control but as a housemate said 'you eating makes us (housemates) feel happy' and honestly I feel so shit guys.
I feel like despite the fact I've only just started trying to recover everyone wants me to go faster and just be better already cause how hard can it be to eat a normal amount right?
On top of this I'm having a bad low and am really paranoid that my girlfriend is gonna leave me because she's not happy and I'm just a burden. But said (wonderful) girlfriend is watching my eating like a hawk (she bribes me with hugs but that's not worked today so no hugs for me :( )and I'm so distressed because I don't want to lose the one thing I feel like I have control over.
Like fuck I just want a hug and to be able to recover at my own pace, not the pace that everyone else wants me to recover at because I can't fucking do it.
[Discussion] What type of clothing makes your butt look the firmest/best?
/u/annatheana
Created: Mon Nov 6 15:38:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b8sde/what_type_of_clothing_makes_your_butt_look_the/
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No matter how much weight I lose or how many squats I do my hips and butt never look how I want them to. What types of clothing emphasizes small hips and a nicely shaped butt? Are certain leggings better than others?
How do you deal with one problem area?
[Discussion] New Work Friend
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Mon Nov 6 15:16:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b8nft/new_work_friend/
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As you guys know, I’m a chef at M&T bank’s headquarters. We see the same people literally every day, breakfast and lunch. There is this one girl who comes in, and just gets diet soda. SHES RAIL THIN.
My new Fitbit has ignited my restricting ways (horrible but I feel so much better) so today all I grabbed was a Diet Coke as well, before smoking my cigarette. She comes up to me and says “You already ate, you’re not feeling well or you’re too tired to eat?”
And I’m like 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 SHE FUCKING KNOWSSSSS.
But she started laughing and I joined. She goes, “Hi, I’m Sophie.” And I’m like “cool, I was calling you Diet Coke”. We laugh again. Then she’s like “wanna have ‘lunch’ sometimes?”FUCK YEAH.
She’s like 5000 pounds lighter than me but this is the beginning of a very destructive friendship. I’m down.
[Discussion] How have you changed from a year ago?
/u/astr4lproject [5'8 | 123 | 18.50]
Created: Mon Nov 6 15:01:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b8jpv/how_have_you_changed_from_a_year_ago/
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So even though it's only November every shop is full to the brim with Christmas stuff including of course tonnes of food. Seeing all the Christmas stuff, especially advent calendars gave me nostalgia for last winter. I was 2 stone heavier and full of self hatred. But at the same time I loved food, I had an advent calendar and looked forward to eating it every day. Now I can't think of anything worse.
How is your ED compared to last Christmas? I think I'm at the worst I've been in years. But God I'm so happy about the weight loss.
[Rant/Rave] was doing really good then my bf broke up with me seemingly out of the blue :)
/u/4amthunderstorm
Created: Mon Nov 6 14:57:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b8imw/was_doing_really_good_then_my_bf_broke_up_with_me/
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i used to have an account on here but deleted it because i was doing really well. now i want to not eat until my flesh dissipates into nothing and i'm a skeleton wandering the streets. not to be melodramatic or anything~
my only ray of hope is that i was very dignified and didn't cry at all, just asked him to please leave because i didn't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me.
really though... how do you guys deal with the crushing self-esteem hit that comes after having your heart broken? lie on the floor in a pool of sticky halo top? aggressively exercising for 4 hours... may have possibly been me yesterday..
i hope other people are doing better than me <3
New friend.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 6 14:48:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b8gcu/new_friend/
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[deleted]
[Help] I'm so confused!!! Advice?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 6 14:28:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b8bhd/im_so_confused_advice/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Why can’t I be chunky?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 6 14:20:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b89pm/why_cant_i_be_chunky/
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[deleted]
[Other] Delicious filling vegetarian burger for less than 200 calories. I could cry.
/u/tjking333 [5'3ft 💮 CW:126lb 💮 BMI:22 💮 -40lb 💮 GW:100 💮 21F]
Created: Mon Nov 6 14:11:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b87dj/delicious_filling_vegetarian_burger_for_less_than/
---
I saw a post on here like forever ago about Boca vegan burgers and have been buying them pretty regularly. While they're filling on their own I clearly haven't been maximizing their potential. Until today that is.
Next time you want a nice juicy burger but don't want to ruin your day, I've got you.
Ingredients: 1 Boca burger vegan Patty (70 cal), 1 wedge of laughing cow cheese (35 cal), 2 slices of nature's own diet bread (80 cal for both). 185 calories total, a little more if you add lettuce and onions, but it should still come out under 200.
Step 1: preheat your oven to broiling heat
Step 2: spread cheese on one slice of bread and place both slices on a cookie sheet
Step 3: put your bread in the oven for 2 minutes (not any longer because it will probably burn)
Step 4: microwave your burger (you can grill it if that works better for you, but I always end up with a dry Patty so I don't)
Step 5: Throw that Patty on your bread, add any condiments you want and dig in.
It honestly is just like a real burger to me and it's super filling. You can even eat multiple if you have a heartier appetite and you can still easily fit it into a restricting day.
Bless up 🙏
[Rant/Rave] Fiancé's Friends All Have Hot Girlfriends And I Think I'm The Ugly One
/u/Flesh_Daddy_
Created: Mon Nov 6 13:52:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b82am/fiancés_friends_all_have_hot_girlfriends_and_i/
---
One of his best friends has a girlfriend who is so awesome and cool and we're the same height and weight (154lbs, 5'3"-ish).
But she's so SO SO much prettier than me. She has gorgeous long curly hair and she wears her weight WAY better than me. She's like a 10/10 and his other friend has a super tall and super skinny modelesque type girl with bright blue eyes and dark hair.
And then there's me. Frumpy, short stringy hair, red face with fucking adult acne of course. A stupid Quentin Tarantino chin with crooked teeth, a long pointy nose, and virtually no lips and I can't smile normally, I always squint one eye and have this stupid crooked half smile. It really sucks, I hit the opposite of the genetic lottery and I know I'll be happy once I hit my gw but I'll still be ugly. It really sucks. I just needed to vent.
[Rant/Rave] forever feeling not sick enough
/u/trashboating_ [5'1" | 🍑: aureiia]
Created: Mon Nov 6 13:52:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b828a/forever_feeling_not_sick_enough/
---
as always with my posts here, this is gonna just be a vent/rant or some shit. strap yourselves in, lads.
so i'm pretty determined to get better. i've been trying pretty hard because tbh my bmi (15.3/15.98) lowkey scares me but i literally can't bring myself to eat more than a couple hundred calories over maintenance? and even when i do it makes me feel so fucking guilty. rationally i know i should get a therapist and a dietician and blaaaah. whatever.
ANYWAYS.
i feel fake and invalid and healthy. i know i'm not, like i get exhausted from going up and down the stairs and 15.3 is a super fucking low bmi that can kill and shit but like. idk. i still don't feel skinny. i know it's the eating disorder but it's really hard to fight against it guys. like, really fucking hard. i forgot how difficult it was. i just wanna get better but i can't. a part of me thinks i'll be worthy of treatment when i get down to a bmi below 14 but another part knows that's not true and i'll want to keep going until i literally can't anymore. i didn't even want to weigh this little originally lmao.
thanks anorexia.
[Discussion] Add me on Fitbit
/u/agent_philcoulson [5'4" | CW: 134 | GW: 120 | UGW: 110]
Created: Mon Nov 6 13:41:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b7zps/add_me_on_fitbit/
---
I'm getting back into Fitbit and would love some people to challenge. I'm tired of being in challenges with just my family.
https://www.fitbit.com/user/2S2QQP
Feel free to add me :) I'm not active today but I will start wearing my Blaze tomorrow.
When you’re stomach won’t stop growling
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 6 13:36:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b7yaa/when_youre_stomach_wont_stop_growling/
---
https://i.redd.it/8nhprtke1fwz.jpg
[Discussion] Does anyone else feel more triggered by weight loss than weight gain?
/u/fieryanxiety
Created: Mon Nov 6 13:34:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b7xtn/does_anyone_else_feel_more_triggered_by_weight/
---
I just did a cleanse for reasons unrelated to weight loss, in fact it wasn't even a secret tiny hope in the back of my mind lol I was last weighed at the doctors office 1 month ago, and I was up to 132. I could have literally cried but I had pretty much no desire to start up my cycle again. I haven't weighed myself since, because I've been eating terribly and honestly I knew I was gaining more weight. I could see it everywhere.
I decided to weigh myself this weekend and I actually LOST 10lbs. Instead of being like, wow thats awesome and just accepting this random win, I have been restricting like crazy! 10 pounds is great! Now let's go for 20! Jesus I'm a mess lol
[Other] Move along dear friends
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'3"|110| 25F]
Created: Mon Nov 6 13:28:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b7wi6/move_along_dear_friends/
---
So I made an appointment with a psych and I still don’t want to recover and I’m mad at myself lol
-I could never have the patience and determination to fast or restrict enough—it bored me eventually and made me feel caged in and suffocated
-I found comfort in purging because the possibilities felt limitless and the act of purging was a high and I felt invincible. And at a point I just stopped caring about it all. It gave me control and escape.
I guess its just been my personality to choose impulsiveness over calculation..
I don’t want to recover, and when I come here I never want to recover no matter the countless caring words here. I tell myself to give it a few more years or so.
But I’m a nurse and I should be able to save lives right? I’m barely saving mine. Idk 😐
[Rant/Rave] my daily diet
/u/vcloud25
Created: Mon Nov 6 13:12:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b7s96/my_daily_diet/
---
[removed]
I broke my scale
/u/Kishin_
Created: Mon Nov 6 12:38:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b7jqw/i_broke_my_scale/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I can clearly see each time I've binged over the last month. I wish I could just STOP!
/u/IttyBittyBatty [5'5"| -14.2lb | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 6 12:27:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b7h1t/i_can_clearly_see_each_time_ive_binged_over_the/
---
https://imgur.com/qmwga4b
[Discussion] What ED podcasts do you guys like?
/u/twiggier [5'5" (165 cm) // 106.0 lbs // F]
Created: Mon Nov 6 12:18:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b7erv/what_ed_podcasts_do_you_guys_like/
---
I'm looking for something ED, weight loss, or even recovery-related. What are some good podcasts out there?? Any recommendations are much appreciated!
[Rant/Rave] |Advice/Help/Rant| Underweight and afraid
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |104 | -116 | 20A]
Created: Mon Nov 6 12:08:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b7cc7/advicehelprant_underweight_and_afraid/
---
http://imgur.com/3Xt1Sjv
[Rant/Rave] I think I want my eating disorder to kill me...
/u/uncommonlyaverage [5'3" | CW 115 | GW 92 | BMI 20.4 |18 F]
Created: Mon Nov 6 11:55:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b795v/i_think_i_want_my_eating_disorder_to_kill_me/
---
My family is horribly abusive and they are the main reason I never gave a crap about recovery. I have been disordered for almost 5 years since I was 14. Despite how awfully I'm treated, I can't just go and jump off a bridge or shoot myself because I would feel guilty even hurting the people (not sure if they'd even care) that hurt me on a daily basis and act like I am a disgusting worthless piece of trash. I just can't. At least if I "die from ED complications" it won't be a direct suicide. It's slow and painful anyway and I probably deserve to go out that way. Sorry for the vent guys I am just feeling really defeated. I think I want my goal weight now to just be thin enough to kill me.
I need an ana buddy🙃
/u/Fatfaster
Created: Mon Nov 6 11:50:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b781c/i_need_an_ana_buddy/
---
[removed]
one perk from having an eating disorder...
/u/squishykiss
Created: Mon Nov 6 11:46:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b76zz/one_perk_from_having_an_eating_disorder/
---
[removed]
[Other] Tried to purge, but failed. FML
/u/Throwaway412160987
Created: Mon Nov 6 11:06:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b6wnc/tried_to_purge_but_failed_fml/
---
So i’ve been eating like shit these past few days, must be because I’m getting my period soon or something. So i usually eat 1,200, but today i ate around 1,700 if not more. I can already feel a layer of fat forming over my abs, and my thighs expanding. Fml! I tried purging (first time) but i failed. I tried drinking water, etc. nothing worked, I already feel fat asf. I’m 98 lbs, 5’2.5, and 13 f. I’m so depressed rn because I have a party next week, and I worked so hard to lose weight and tone up. Probably going to restrict hard next week, wish me luck.
[Rant/Rave] I found an old sweater
/u/pcrnography [it's just water weight]
Created: Mon Nov 6 11:01:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b6vd5/i_found_an_old_sweater/
---
A sweater that I see every time I flip through my folder of body check pictures. It’s only in one picture, but it’s one of the few taken in a full body mirror.
Today I got to retake that exact same picture. Same sweater, same mirror, same pants, same hair cut, I still use the same bag. Only differences were my shoes (although I still have the pair I wore in the picture) and my weight.
You can even see my gain in my fucking CALVES. I’m horrified. I mean like, yay, same pants fitting a year later, but holy shit. My legs have gained who knows how many inches around... my pants used to be loose in the calves and now you can see the curve of my muscle. I’m so big.
[Other] Vora! (fasting app)
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1.5" | cw 151 | gw 145 | ugw 100 | -19]
Created: Mon Nov 6 10:46:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b6rpc/vora_fasting_app/
---
Hey I know this has been done before but who wants to be friends with me on Vora? I've started fasting regularly because it's helping me a ton with binging and I'd love to have some friends on there although I'm not entirely sure I have even figured out the social feature hah
my name on there is bblbtt
[Rant/Rave] Someone stole/mistakenly took my lunch from the fridge...enjoy my lettuce
/u/thinismygame [5'6.5" | 125 | F | 22]
Created: Mon Nov 6 10:34:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b6owl/someone_stolemistakenly_took_my_lunch_from_the/
---
Literally whoever took my lunch is going to think I'm crazy. It had two Diet dr peppers, literally a ziplock of 1.5 C plain lettuce and a 100 calorie protein shake 😂😂😂😂 kinda salty bc my lunchbox was $25 but also I kinda don't care bc i guess I'm fasting today??? Thanks for making it easier on me!
[Discussion] Does anyone else love to b/p on oatmeal?
/u/pershon17707 [5' 6'' | CW: 96 |Female]
Created: Mon Nov 6 10:32:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b6oea/does_anyone_else_love_to_bp_on_oatmeal/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I think I may have become a member of the "I have no idea what I look like" club...
/u/Zurthrow [5'4| CW:132 | HW:150 | GW1:130 | 22F]
Created: Mon Nov 6 10:32:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b6o5o/i_think_i_may_have_become_a_member_of_the_i_have/
---
The scale says 129 which is my lowest adult weight and I'm happy about that. I finally started seeing differences in my clothes too: my size 8 skirts and jeans aren't quite tight enough around my waist to hold themselves up properly anymore. I look in the mirror and think I look fairly thin: the sides of my waist are still kind of lumpy but the front of my stomach is fairly flat. I decide to take a pic of how my jeans are too big to send my sister on snapchat, aaaaaaaaand BOOM. the pics look NOTHING like what I saw in the mirror. they look disgusting and I still look huge in them. and a size 6 is still pretty big, right?
I legitimately thought I would look good at 130 lb which was my first goal weight, but now I almost think I look fatter in pictures than before I even started losing weight. could seeing my weight go down be tricking me into thinking I look thinner than I really am?
I used to think it was dumb when others said this, but I legitimately have no idea what I actually look like rn.
competing with boyfriends coworkers
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 6 10:28:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b6ncg/competing_with_boyfriends_coworkers/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Russian girls are always so small...
/u/snow-faerie
Created: Mon Nov 6 09:50:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b6dgu/russian_girls_are_always_so_small/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Purging
/u/skinthin [4'11 | 105 | 21.2 | 30 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Nov 6 09:19:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b65ux/purging/
---
Purging has become out of control for me. I purge after I eat anything no matter how small, even if I don't plan on it and I have started vomiting blood and some type of red gunk and getting nose bleeds often when I purge. I don't know what to do or what it means, I don't know how to control myself. I want to see a doctor but I don't want to receive treatment, I don't feel sick enough to recieve treatment. I just want to stop purging so often but I can't keep anything inside of me anymore.
[Tip] Supplements to crave hunger?
/u/Faithnt
Created: Mon Nov 6 08:24:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b5su5/supplements_to_crave_hunger/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I didn’t gain weight after eating normally all weekend!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 6 08:05:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b5oh1/i_didnt_gain_weight_after_eating_normally_all/
---
[deleted]
[Tip] I need ideas for safe meals (not snacks). Please share what your current ones are.
/u/ignorado [🍑: ignorado]
Created: Mon Nov 6 08:01:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b5ndy/i_need_ideas_for_safe_meals_not_snacks_please/
---
I've been eating nothing but blueberries lately and I'm so sick of them, but I'm scared to eat regular meals (like pasta, or rice with veggies, etc) because I know I'll feel like shit. So I've been eating really low cal snack foods like Fiber One bars, greek yogurt, pickles during my restricting phases and then bingeing on them when I start my inevitable binges :(
I just want a real meal that actually feels like I'm eating normally, but I just can't think of any. I'm scared of soup because of the sodium. I weigh myself every morning and I flip shit if I gain water weight during restrictions
[Rant/Rave] I cracked
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 151.5 | GW: 118 | -15.3 | F24]
Created: Mon Nov 6 07:03:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b5axb/i_cracked/
---
Hanging out for 12 hours yesterday with my bf and 4 of his friends playing Dungeons and Dragons. I calmly munched on a quest bar and apple and drank my Powerade zero while they had two HUGE pizzas and a 2 liter Mountain Dew. And then...i realized their food had come with a coupon for a free medium pizza. I'm sure you can guess what happened.
Guys, I ate the ENTIRE medium pizza minus 1 slice in 15 minutes. ***15 MINUTES*** followed by 3/4 of a pint of Ben and Jerry's pumpkin cheesecake ice cream. I had been slowly eat that pint one spoonful every few days for weeks. Just as a tiny treat. I had even cardio'd off 400kcal that morning AND done all my weight machines for leg day. I ate all this in front of everyone.
All that progress, ruined. I had finally broken through the 150s and was at 148.9lbs. Now I feel like I should go to the gym and not come out til I've burned every last calorie off of yesterday. And I never want to eat again. I feel like such a loser =(
[Help] What do you guys do when people make you not want to eat?
/u/floralpeach
Created: Mon Nov 6 06:32:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b54xu/what_do_you_guys_do_when_people_make_you_not_want/
---
I don't really know how to describe this, but basically my mom hates me. Like actually hates me. She pretty much just punished me for existing. I was about to eat an almost 400 calorie breakfast, and I was super excited about it, then my mom came downstairs, praised my sister, yelled at me, and now my appetite is gone. I don't feel like I deserve food. I don't want to use the "trigger" because I don't really feel like that's what this is, but what would you do if you were trying to recover and people around you made you feel not hungry? A similar thing happened yesterday, then I had to eat a huge meal and I felt so guilty I wanted to die.
[Help] Getting rid of violin hips
/u/PM_ME_GOOD_FILMS
Created: Mon Nov 6 06:12:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b51b3/getting_rid_of_violin_hips/
---
Does anyone have hip dips or violin hips? How do you get rid of them? Is corseting an option? What kind of exercises reduces hip dips? I hate mine and at a BMI at the lower end of the healthy range they show no sign of disappearing. Any tips?
[For those of you who don't know what hip dips/violin hips are: girl on the left has hip dips, girl on the right doesn't](http://www.femniqe.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/HIP-DIPS.png)
[Goal] Gonna fast/restrict for real this week
/u/religiousdogmom [5'5.75 | CW157.6 | GW105 | BMI 25.53 | 25]
Created: Mon Nov 6 05:45:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b4wix/gonna_fastrestrict_for_real_this_week/
---
I fucking love the work week because I don’t eat at work and once I start fasting it’s easy for me to keep going (for like 24-27 hours). So this week, I’m going to try really hard to restrict all week. Less than 500 calories a day. LETS GOOOOOOO.
I need to pick up some Powerade zero and bring some salt with me to work. I’m so excited. I spent the whole weekend binging and I’m excited to get back on track.
[Rant/Rave] update/seeking food recommendations
/u/dyingtobepretty [5ft|94lbs|GW: 85lbs|F]
Created: Mon Nov 6 05:33:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b4uh8/updateseeking_food_recommendations/
---
i'm down to 94lbs as of 2 days ago. it's a lot less weight than i expected to lose by now, but i think i look smaller. my job is constant running around and often times i'll run past someone and hear them say "she's sooo tiny" and it feels AMAZING every time. also, one of my coworkers has made it obvious (basically told me word for word) that he has a crush on me. obvi i'm not at all interested but hearing that was really nice; i haven't heard that from anyone besides by boyfriend in soooo long.
ive only eaten one little shooter from steak 'n shake since weighing myself. (highly recommend these!!! you can get 1 for 89¢ and they're super tiny so you still get the full taste of a burger without the risk of over eating!) my boyfriend made me eat it because we were going to his grandparents house later to have dinner (we ended up not being able to go) and he said "i know you're not going to be able to eat anything tonight if you don't eat now" because he knows i can never swallow food after a long fast, so that answers my question of if he knows i'm restricting lmao. he doesn't seem too upset, just watching me kinda closely and offering to cook me things more often.
restrictings kinda gotten out of my control. anytime i eat i feel so terrible i never wanna do it again, even if it's just a goddamn apple. i'm kinda worried about my health but i read a comment on a post in this sub about how increasing how much you eat even a little after starving yourself will make your body want to hold on to all the weight it can in fear you won't eat again, and i can't keep that out of my head when i try to make myself eat. i'm going to go buy better foods for when i do eat when i get paid. any recommendations for things that will give me some nutrition but won't make me bloated and hate myself? ive heard tunas good for this.
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! November 06, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Nov 6 05:14:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b4r4t/weekly_stats_update_november_06_2017/
---
This is the weekly status thread for November 06, 2017.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 06, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Nov 6 05:13:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b4r48/daily_food_diary_november_06_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 06, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] November 6th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 6 05:04:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b4pe6/november_6th_2017_question_of_the_day/
---
What time did you go to bed last night?
[Help] Worried about Drs app tomorrow-new lowest weight
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 6 03:53:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b4fbv/worried_about_drs_app_tomorrownew_lowest_weight/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] I have no idea what I actually look like!
/u/bettervern
Created: Mon Nov 6 03:10:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b49jp/i_have_no_idea_what_i_actually_look_like/
---
I have no concept at all how big/small I am. I see photos and I think I’m huge and some I think I’m tiny. I often have people say I’m ‘small’ or ‘slim’ but I think it’s people just being polite or my husband who clearly looks through rose-tinted glasses.
I wonder if I will EVER have any concept of how I actually look.
I currently weigh between 125-127lbs depending on the day, at a height of 5’7” but honestly have no idea what the mirror shows me so I feel I can never truly be confident.
Does anyone else struggle with this?
[Help] Getting rid of hip dips/Violin hips
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 6 02:58:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b47qt/getting_rid_of_hip_dipsviolin_hips/
---
[removed]
[Other] Fasting VS Bingeing
/u/psydorable
Created: Mon Nov 6 02:25:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b43ir/fasting_vs_bingeing/
---
https://i.redd.it/5aiiqlcppbwz.jpg
[Tip] Low-carb pasta
/u/Kalilies [166cm | 47kg | BMI 17.06 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 6 01:56:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b3znw/lowcarb_pasta/
---
I just found out about Shirataki/Konjac noodles. They have about 8 kcal per 100g and are supposed to be just as filling as regular pasta.
If you're in Germany, here's a link to where you can buy them: https://konjak-shop.com/
[Discussion] What kind of people are here? What's your diagnosis?
/u/judginurrelationship
Created: Mon Nov 6 01:41:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b3xtz/what_kind_of_people_are_here_whats_your_diagnosis/
---
Hey
Just curious as I know some people can be pretty judgey of others eating disorders (bulimia isn't as "pure" as ana, BED isn't a real ED, etc)
Are people happy with all ED participating here?? I know my struggles with BED are worlds different to the struggles of anorexia in many ways but there's also a lot of similarities.
I've been mostly just watching so far but I love the sheer honesty of this group. Everyone talks about how they feel and nobody offers unsolicited advice, BUT when someone asks for advice they are always given healthy, "non-ED" I suppose you could say, advice. It's just great.
[Help] Do things still work the same?
/u/Tyrion_Stark
Created: Mon Nov 6 01:28:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b3w5r/do_things_still_work_the_same/
---
Hello lovelies, I guess I'm done lurking.
I've had anorexia on and off throughout the last 15 years. I've done hospitals and residential, do well for a while, but I always relapse back into my ED.
I've been weight restored for 3 years. I've been doing so "well" I began to creep to the higher end of a normal BMI. Something snapped in me last week and I started restricting and working out again.
In the past, whenever I begin losing weight the first 10 days are the fastest. I can easily drop 10-15lbs with a deficit to lose a lb every other day. Then things slow down and I hit the normal weight loss plateaus.
But not this time. Granted, it's only been 5 days, but the scale has actually gone UP a pound!! I've been eating 500 cals, weighing and measuring all of my food, and doing 90 to 120 minutes of cardio daily.
Is this normal? Has this ever happened to you? Is it because I'm older now? Does that mean I have to restrict **more**? Or should I expect to see a jump on the scale a few days down the line?
I'm sorry for the wall of text, I'm just kind of freaking out that for the first time in my life, this isn't working for me
[Rant/Rave] just s/o things
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 19bmi | -140 | 30F | AU]
Created: Mon Nov 6 01:27:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b3w3f/just_so_things/
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me, eating a small bowl of cereal after fading out a bit of after 3 days of nothing but fingernails and chewing the inside of my mouth
him, my husband, that’s a lot of cereal
I can’t do life anymore
I just want to cry
I’m too old to cry
(like the 5th time this has happened and he knows I an atypical anorexia OSFED although my bmi has pushed me over I guess)
[Other] Starting ECA stacks today - Any tips?
/u/cloudsofdawn [169cm - 5'6.5' | CW: 119.9lbs | 19.1 BMI | -23lbs | F]
Created: Mon Nov 6 00:38:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b3pod/starting_eca_stacks_today_any_tips/
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Anyone have any tips or a schedule you follow?
I plan to do
- 24mg E
- 100-200 C
- 81mg A
Each dose. Today I’m going to just start with 12mg E, 100 C, and 81A, and then move up in dosage tomorrow and see what works for me, and then start doing more than one dosage per day. I plan on doing 10 days on, 7 off at a time, however I am wondering what you guys did initially to get used to it and the schedule you guys follow for dosing in terms of your day + how many days/weeks you do on/off.
[Rant/Rave] I cried on the treadmill today.
/u/InterchangeableMoon
Created: Mon Nov 6 00:32:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b3otz/i_cried_on_the_treadmill_today/
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I was listening to a podcasts about seeking help for eating disorders, ironically, and I started crying a couple different times during HIIT thinking about how much I hate my body and how badly I want my body to look a certain way. I've been so frustrated with myself lately and i restricted super hard today and i just felt awful.
There wasn't really any concise narrative but like. A combination of stress, a topical podcast, and self loathing kinda just rekt me emotionally today. I hope tomorrow is easier.
[Discussion] Does anyone else avoid eating "safe foods" when they're in an unhealthy eating phase?
/u/ForSnowfall
Created: Sun Nov 5 23:29:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b3f6v/does_anyone_else_avoid_eating_safe_foods_when/
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I go through cycles in which I'll either restrict or overeat/eat "bad foods," and when I'm in a bad foods phase, it seems inherently wrong to eat any safe foods, or even anything generally healthy. I have theories as to why this is, but I'm just curious if anyone else goes through something similar. (Obviously this mindset is illogical, but hey, ED brain.)
[Intro] Starting to love purging.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 5 23:27:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b3ey4/starting_to_love_purging/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Can this kill me already
/u/bokoblin-buddy
Created: Sun Nov 5 22:28:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b35sz/can_this_kill_me_already/
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I just want to die. I want this disorder to kill me. I want to be done. I don't want to kill myself because A) I don't want to traumatize whoever has to find my disgusting ass and B) I'm somehow convinced that maybe someone could actually give a shit about me and I don't want to hurt them. I want this to be over. Every day is a living goddamn hell and I want out so bad. I don't want to live anymore and it seems there isn't a goddamn thing I can do about it.
[Discussion] Anybody else obsessed with looking at pictures of food
/u/lavenderbruises [5'9"|CW 110| GW 100| BMI 16| 19F]
Created: Sun Nov 5 22:00:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b30tj/anybody_else_obsessed_with_looking_at_pictures_of/
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Not the rabbit food that anorexics eat, but real, actual food. I browse /r/food and /r/foodporn everyday now. That shit just mesmerizes me. Deep fried chicken, steaks, cheese platters, sushi, waffles, sourdough loaves, cakes... do people actually EAT these kinds of food? Holy shit.
Not super proud of this, but I actually cried while browsing /r/food last night. I want to eat real food so fucking badly. I just want a grilled cheese. Or a bag of chips. Maybe some beef jerky. Lately I’ve been craving kebabs and Mexican food. Ughhhh this is actual torture. I can’t go on like this for the rest of my life...
[Help] Adderall for weight loss?
/u/vctrlcs
Created: Sun Nov 5 21:51:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b2z80/adderall_for_weight_loss/
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[Intro] About myself and my ED
/u/iheartlemons [5'1" | 97.2lb | 18.4BMI | Not Enough | 27F]
Created: Sun Nov 5 20:46:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b2noc/about_myself_and_my_ed/
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Hi guys,
I've never posted to an online community before, let alone one for people with EDs. To be honest I have lurked, but I've always been afraid to post about myself for fear of not being accepted/understood. But today I finally found the courage to speak up. So here goes nothing...
I've suffered from anxiety/depression and eating issues since I was 12 years old (started with binge eating, then led to more of the restrictive type). My lowest adult weight was 92 lbs, my highest adult weight was 115 lbs. I'm starting to restrict again after a brief hiatus (I recently went through a lot of major life changes that set me back a few pounds). Now that I've settled into my new apartment, I feel the need to get back on track. Please feel free to share your own stories. I look forward to meeting all of you!
[Rant/Rave] Just finished a 135 hour fast
/u/greatideaxoxo [5'2" | 124.6lbs | BMI:22.8 | GW:100lbs ]
Created: Sun Nov 5 20:22:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b2j6i/just_finished_a_135_hour_fast/
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I started my fast at 127lbs and managed to get down to 118! I averaged about a 2 pound loss every day. I'm so damn excited and so close to my first goal of 110lbs! I'm hoping I can reach 100lbs by the new year! I still feel huge but atleast the number on the scale is going down haha
[Help] Trouble food down
/u/idonthavea_cat
Created: Sun Nov 5 20:18:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b2ifc/trouble_food_down/
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Even when I eat a safe foods or a small amount of other healthy foods I still feel like my stomach needs to get rid of it. My stomach will feel uncomfortable and really bloated until I exercise or get rid of it. Do others feel this way ever or have any tips to try to over come it?
[Rant/Rave] Stressed and frustrated rant
/u/graesticks
Created: Sun Nov 5 19:57:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b2eew/stressed_and_frustrated_rant/
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[Help] How to add info?
/u/Elizawitch
Created: Sun Nov 5 19:49:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b2csw/how_to_add_info/
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I want to add my weight height goal weight and all that. How do I do it?
[Help] My husband cheated and now I never want to eat again.
/u/uuuuuuggghhhhgh
Created: Sun Nov 5 19:48:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b2com/my_husband_cheated_and_now_i_never_want_to_eat/
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I’m 27F/5’1”/106.
If you want to skip the intro, scroll down to “actual problem” below. I initially posted this on my main instead of my throwaway, so I’m sorry if that caused anyone confusion.
Some background:
My husband is an actual sex addict. I found out earlier this year when I discovered he had a porn addiction that started when he was 12. You’d think this would mean that I’d get laid all the time like I actually want, but he was almost always using porn instead of me. Despite the devastation, I agreed to support him and work through it as he got sober. We got into therapy and we were doing great for a while, like better than ever. But it didn’t last.
He became distant. Was obviously not working on things we covered in therapy. I drove myself nuts trying to be a better wife (because I was definitely not without my flaws before this). I just wanted him to love and be honest with me. I gradually started restricting again. I found out about the affair because he was protective of his phone. No regrets about snooping. The affair was going on for about a month.
I don’t want to get too into it (I posted about everything in r/offmychest if you feel like looking at my post history) because that’s not really the point of my post.
Actual problem:
The day after I found out, I ate nothing all day. It was a 36 hour fast. I had some coffee and like 1/3 of a breakfast wrap, which gave me heart palpitations and made me gag. All evening I’ve been looking up tips for how to stop eating without fainting (or dying). My EDNOS started a few months ago when I found out about the addiction. It was getting better recently, but now it’s worse than ever.
Predictably, I want to recover but I don’t. I’m down a few pounds since this happened, and it’s a huge thrill. I don’t even really think I’m fat usually, but losing weight gives me a surge of energy, makes me feel like I’m in control, and gives me confidence.
My husband didn’t even really know about my ED because I hid it so well and made my eating so performative. He kind of knew, the first time he devastated me, that I was struggling to eat, but I told him it was shock even though I kind of knew it wasn’t. I told him about its severity the night I found out about the affair (mostly out of spite), and he was very worried. We think the affair was due to his sex addiction and some other things, and for now we’re trying to work it out (he ended the affair).
He wants me to feel safe eating. I kind of want to feel safe eating. I have no clue where to begin with recovery. I don’t even always want to recover. But I also don’t want to die, and I don’t want food I actually like to make me gag and panic. What the fuck do I do? Therapy is covered under my insurance, but again it’s like I’m scared to actually recover. I think it will make me binge and get fat. I guess I should add that once upon a time, I weighed nearly 180lbs. My fear of getting fat is extreme, and to my mind, justified.
Again, what the fuck do I do? I was unsure whether to tag this as a rant or as help, but I’m looking for advice if you have it.
Thanks for reading all that. I have no idea what I’m doing.
[Discussion] do you log alcohol calories?
/u/kailana12
Created: Sun Nov 5 19:44:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b2bw1/do_you_log_alcohol_calories/
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I never used to log my alcohol calories just food because I could still lose weight when going out drinking on weekends. And it kind of feels like fake calories cause it goes right through you. Does anyone else log everything except for alcohol? I've started logging wine, beer, etc but it really adds up on a night like at a wedding or something.
[Help] Husband cheated and now I never want to eat again.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 5 19:38:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b2ar1/husband_cheated_and_now_i_never_want_to_eat_again/
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[deleted]
Doing better
/u/graesticks
Created: Sun Nov 5 19:38:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b2ap9/doing_better/
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