[Help] Losing control over these damn night time binges.
/u/notsohappycarrot [5'9|CW:131|GW:120|19.3 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 5 19:32:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b29lp/losing_control_over_these_damn_night_time_binges/
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The night time legit stresses me out so much at this point. I can handle myself during the day(usually)... but after 10 PM it's a different story. I wish I could take something to just knock me the fuck out so I don't lose control of this every night lol. Tired of getting told that it's "because I don't eat enough".
Does anyone else deal with this? I've considered melatonin but I'm not sure if that's enough to stop me :(
[Discussion] Diet Coke vs Coke Zero
/u/Elizawitch
Created: Sun Nov 5 19:14:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b265g/diet_coke_vs_coke_zero/
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https://i.redd.it/dhok6ylwk9wz.jpg
Need some meanspo
/u/Kingdeeragon
Created: Sun Nov 5 19:07:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b24p0/need_some_meanspo/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Not Ana enough
/u/Elizawitch
Created: Sun Nov 5 19:01:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b23gz/not_ana_enough/
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[removed]
[Intro] ohhhh my god something like this exists
/u/skinnynet [5'6" | 148 | 23.8 | -0 | 15F]
Created: Sun Nov 5 18:20:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b1va8/ohhhh_my_god_something_like_this_exists/
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thank. fucking. god.
finally, somewhere that helps without all the ~anamia~ uwu type shit. i've been here for like 30 minutes and everyone here seems so chill. i look forward to making progress with everyone! x
[Rant/Rave] Self Sabotage
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 5 18:08:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b1snz/self_sabotage/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Question regarding meals
/u/throwaway002300 [25 | 5'3" | CW 109 | BMI 19.3| GW 103| HW 160]
Created: Sun Nov 5 17:52:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b1p8m/question_regarding_meals/
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I would like to know what everyone eats for lunch or dinner when they are with their significant other or family members. My days consist of low cal snacks or fasting, but I eat dinner with my husband every night and we eat lunch together on weekends. He eats whatever he wants and his diet is full of high calorie foods. I’m struggling to find meals that look substantial and not totally bizarre, but low cal enough to feel comfortable and not sabotage my efforts in the morning/afternoon. Suggestions, ideas and recipes would be wonderful because low cal soup/broth and steamed broccoli are getting kind of boring.
[Intro] Never had normal eating habits
/u/Bathoriel
Created: Sun Nov 5 17:34:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b1li1/never_had_normal_eating_habits/
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I'm a long time lurker and recently started posting.
I've not got any diagnosed ED but my food relationship has never been good.
I always *thought* I was an overweight child but when I look at photos I'm so slim.
I've always been a binge eater, sneaking extra snacks etc and not knowing when to stop.
When I got to uni, 9 years ago the weight piled on and I ended up obese.
Boyfriend bought me a box of chocolates one time and I thought it would be a great idea to just taste them all then spit them out (I didn't know chewing and spitting was a thing, I thought I was a genius) so this lead to huge bingeing and eventually I made myself sick.
I knew bullima was a thing but I didn't think that applied to me because I thought bullimics were all skinny and threw up everything they ate, I thought I was in control and I wasn't losing weight but I stopped putting it on!
I eventually managed to lose a few stone and get to the low end of overweight through healthy eating and exercise, but I was still BP-ing.
When I moved away from home properly and in with my fiancé (now husband) I stopped BP-ing almost completely but the weight piled on.
I reached a tipping point a few months ago where I was so down about my size that I binged then purged and for the first time it felt so out of control, I felt so disgusting and helpless that I decided enough was enough and I'm finally losing weight steadily through exercise and restriction.
I never want to be that shaking, vomiting, wreck again. I was never in control. *Maybe* the first time or two, but after that it it was compulsion.
[Rant/Rave] Today I ate
/u/km_14
Created: Sun Nov 5 16:46:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b1b59/today_i_ate/
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And I was proud of myself. I made spaghetti and put mixed veggies and chicken in it. I didn’t count the calories (even tho I ball parked it in my head.)
Celebrating little victories keeps me going.
[Rant/Rave] H o l y shit I broke 140 without realizing it
/u/LivelyGhost [5'6" | CW: 141 | GW: 111 | -23 lbs]
Created: Sun Nov 5 16:41:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b1a6x/h_o_l_y_shit_i_broke_140_without_realizing_it/
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For the longest time ever I thought I was plateauing at 140-142 and I've also been a lil bingey the past two weeks. I used my roommate's scale real quick and it gave me back 137.5 lbs back three times in a row!! With clothes on nonetheless!!!! My dudes I am living, now that I know I'm no longer 140, restricting down to 130 will be relatively easy and then 130 will become my new plateau, I already know this. I am wholly unprepared for it though. But in the mean time, 137.5!!!
[Discussion] Most motivating/triggering music videos?
/u/squishykiss
Created: Sun Nov 5 16:12:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b141e/most_motivatingtriggering_music_videos/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] “If you’re healthy, you’re healthy!”
/u/Theredcheesecake
Created: Sun Nov 5 15:47:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b0ybb/if_youre_healthy_youre_healthy/
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This is the only place I feel like I can go because I don’t really want to talk to my RL friends.
My dad died about a month ago from a heart attack. He was obese.
My sister and her family came to visit the other day, she’s probably at least 320 lbs, her husband is at least 350 lbs. I’m 130 pounds and she doesn’t know that was diagnosed with EDNOS.
She likes to CONSTANTLY shit on my eating and exercise habits (right now I’m doing the ABC and can easily make 500 calories look like a lot of food, but when they’re over, I usually eat 1400-1600 when I have visitors, which is my maintenance calories).
Shit such as “Oh, well, you’re a health nut because you count your calories”, “Exercising ruins your knees!” —> “Stop sending me stuff. You’ll see in 30 years. (When I send her 5 articles and studies indicating that running actually doesn’t affect your joints) or she ROLLS HER FUCKING EYES AT ME WHEN I EAT MY FUCKING VITAMINS.
I got this fucking gem from her the other day in reference to not having insane cholesterol levels yet, “oh well, I may be overweight, but if you’re healthy, you’re healthy!” (Yes, I know that having an ED isn’t healthy either. Oh, the irony.)
Girlfriend, you get out of breath when you walk the 30 feet from the couch to my fridge to get a glass of water. YOU. ARE. NOT. HEALTHY.
YOUR RESTING HEART RATE IS AT LEAST 130 WHEN YOU ARE LAYING DOWN. You would think dad dying would be a wake up call.
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
[Rant/Rave] Sunday night fear
/u/lowandbehole
Created: Sun Nov 5 15:44:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b0xqe/sunday_night_fear/
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Just realised that not only do I suffer from Sunday night fear because of work and my masters but also because of how much I have eaten over the weekend.
How many Sunday nights have I lay here bloated and feeling physically ill only to repeat the cycle again this week 😑
[Rant/Rave] I can't handle this
/u/floralpeach
Created: Sun Nov 5 15:33:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b0ve4/i_cant_handle_this/
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This is going to sound so stupid, but I feel like I need to get it out. Maybe writing it down will help me feel better. I can't stand my mom's new husband or their entire relationship. I feel extremely nauseous anytime he's around, and I swear his only goal is to make me miserable. He does things that are incredibly socially awkward near me and I'm always so uncomfortable. He's constantly making fun of me. He stands outside of my bedroom door screaming "boner" sometimes. He made moaning noises at dinner a couple of days ago. He will also do weird things to my mom and makes uncomfortable sexual jokes when I'm around or when any of my siblings are around. I have told my mom probably hundreds of times that I don't like him but she literally doesn't care at all, she tells me I have to deal with it and stop annoying her or I'll get grounded or something. My mom cares about him 1000x more than she cares about me. On Friday, I asked her if we could go out for dinner. She told me maybe, but then when he came home she changed her mind and decided that just he and her were going out (which they do like 4 times a week). Then she told me that we could maybe go out the next day. I asked if it could be just us, or if at least he could not come (because he makes me uncomfortable) and she got mad at me. Then, yesterday, she decided to again go out with him and forget about me. Today, we went and I was so disgusted and uncomfortable the entire time, and my mom got mad at me for not being so thankful that they took me with them, even though it was my idea in the first place and he wasn't even supposed to come. When he's around, my mom pretends I don't exist. He tries to turn my mom against me, and my mom already hates me, so it's really terrible. I don't even know who I hate more, him or myself.
After all of this, I think I'm starting to realize the cause of my eating disorder, and it's this, my mom and her husband. I feel like I never want to eat again. It also makes sense why it was at its worst in the summer, since that's when I had to see him the most. Or I'm completely off, but in this moment that's what it feels like.
[Help] Three days into a partial fast
/u/couldntfindquiet
Created: Sun Nov 5 15:22:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b0t22/three_days_into_a_partial_fast/
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I call it partial bc I had a big alcohol binge last night but I threw most of it up within an hour or so. I'm having hot and cold flashes and my hands are shaking, I've been staying hydrated but I feel like passing out every time I stand up. Im way overweight so I'm not in serious danger but I should probably call it off now, yeah?
[Discussion] Relating to addicts
/u/toadally-grody [174.5cm / 47.3 / 15.2 / maintaining / F]
Created: Sun Nov 5 14:42:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b0kbk/relating_to_addicts/
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I'm watching Louis Theroux's heroin documentary and, without wanting to minimise their struggles, I really can relate to some of the things they are saying.
This disease is like an addiction. It is killing me and I know that but I still can't quit.
[Rant/Rave] everything's falling apart
/u/okayls [5'4 |hw: 240 | ugw: 95 |20NB/F]
Created: Sun Nov 5 14:41:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b0k2h/everythings_falling_apart/
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i struggled a lot with healthy eating in middle school and high school but never gave it a name.
in middle school it was a ton of binging and gaining weight and in high school it was a lot of throwing up. but when i left for college i essentially stopped.
cut now to junior year of college.
last year i went vegetarian for health reasons but i'm starting to use it as a way to restrict. i'm only using one meal swipe a day on actual food, and one on a latte from starbucks that's slowly morphing into a super-specific suspicious drink. trying to pick food freaks me out, especially at the dining hall. the one friend that knows even a hint of what's going on has seen me on the cusp of a panic attack even trying to decide whether or not to eat a meal, much less what to get.
yesterday and today i've thrown up after eating.
my therapist and i had a conversation friday that it might be an eating disorder, and talked about how the diagnosis based on behaviors/outcomes is dangerous, that the warning signs are the thoughts.
i'm so stressed and i'm rambling and i know that i'm hurting my friend she's worried about me but god i don't want to fucking stop i really don't
[Discussion] Can anyone on depression or anxiety medication tell me if it affects your hunger levels or willingness to restrict?
/u/annan4 [5'4.5" | I hate myself| 18F]
Created: Sun Nov 5 14:25:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b0gmz/can_anyone_on_depression_or_anxiety_medication/
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I have never talked to anyone about my depression and possible anxiety. My parents really want me to go see someone about it because they know I'm depressed but don't know anything about my food issues, but I'm afraid taking antidepressants or other meds will make me want to eat more than I already do. If they make it easier to restrict though then I would love to take them. Any thoughts and opinions are appreciated.
[Other] Amsterdam uni trip
/u/scoutthlostgil
Created: Sun Nov 5 14:20:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b0fjh/amsterdam_uni_trip/
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I’m on a uni trip to Amsterdam 5 days and idk if it’s good or bad
Pros
1. I can very easily not eat
2. Going to be walking a lot probs 15k per day
3. Weed is legal so yay
Cons
1. Can’t do cardio
2. Friends might notice I’m not eating cuz we’ll be together 24/7
3. Harder to track calories if I’m eating street food/restaurants
4. Can’t weigh myself
I think it’s going to be really fun and I don’t want to ruin it by obsessing over food. Hopefully I’ll be lighter by the time I get home. It’s going to be really hard to resist the waffles tho.
[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend is happy with me losing weight!!
/u/ThinnerBirb [5'7 | CW:120lb | GW:100lb | HW:130lb | 18.9 BMI | 19F]
Created: Sun Nov 5 14:10:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b0d5c/boyfriend_is_happy_with_me_losing_weight/
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My boyfriend is 75kg (165lb) and 5'6, so he's wanting to lose weight and although he's expressed some dislike of me also losing weight, tonight he said that actually appreciates me losing weight with him because it helps encourage him, so as long as he needs to lose weight I can to!! 😁 I'm so happy about that.
I've lost 3kg (6.6lb) in a month thanks to this, and if this keeps up I'll be at my GW of 50kg (110lb) by the new year and at my UGW by February, aaah!! 😀
How tf do I deal with Christmas though? Everyone will be expecting me to eat and I don't know how to handle it 😥
(automod pls don't eat this one lmao)
[Rant/Rave] I'm going to sub-1000kcal...
/u/StuDented [1.64m|CW: ?|GW: 55kg|UGW: 50kg|BMI: ?|Gender: F]
Created: Sun Nov 5 13:45:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b07kl/im_going_to_sub1000kcal/
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On mobile, please flair rant/rave
A number many would always say is too high for themselves but for me, is a moment of wrestling back some self control for the first time in a long time. I resisted an opportunity to binge tonight so I could hit that -which is an achievement in and of itself; I can't remember when I last resisted binging. Pity it's only because I'm trying to restrict. But hey ho, there you go.
[Discussion] How much ahead do you plan your meals?
/u/Ofca0
Created: Sun Nov 5 13:27:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b039t/how_much_ahead_do_you_plan_your_meals/
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I usually planned my meals the same day I ate them, but recently I started doing it for meals days ahead. I already exactly planned my food for the rest of the month, and calories for the rest of the year lol. It's so addictive, anyone else does that?
[Discussion] Mitigating weight fluctuations?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: who knows? | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 5 13:25:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b02qx/mitigating_weight_fluctuations/
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This might be a strange question, but are there things you can do to keep your weight relatively stable throughout the day? I wake up in the morning super bloated (so much that I can't take my rings off) and by the end of the day I can be as much as five pounds heavier than I was even in the morning.
On a related note (and this might be TMI) what do you do to avoid constipation when restricting? I've tried laxatives and laxative teas but I feel like it just causes me pain and then only solves a little bit of the problem but that there's still more...backed up, I guess?
Thanks for your help, I know these are strange questions.
[Rant/Rave] i've spent all of my money on food in two days
/u/bombay- [5'9 | CW 160 | GW1 130 | 23.6 | 16F]
Created: Sun Nov 5 13:17:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b00k0/ive_spent_all_of_my_money_on_food_in_two_days/
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[removed]
[Discussion] What types of clothing are the most slimming while also being fashionable?
/u/annatheana
Created: Sun Nov 5 13:17:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7b00cv/what_types_of_clothing_are_the_most_slimming/
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I'm 17, 5'5 and 123 currently. I would like to lose about 15 pounds, but progress has been slow. I feel fat at my current weight, particularly in my stomach and shoulders.
What types of clothing have you found that is able to make you look slimmer?
[Rant/Rave] My whole body is just.. So tired
/u/bagelzboi [5'3 | CW:85bs | 21F]
Created: Sun Nov 5 13:09:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7azyg0/my_whole_body_is_just_so_tired/
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I have to do uni work or I'm going to fail but I can barely get out of bed cause I'm so tired from fasting .. it's so sad how little I care about my future anymore. I'm so dumb why am I so stupid if I could just eat without wanting to kms everything would be okay
[Rant/Rave] I've always been thin, so no one cares if I'm hurting
/u/skyofAuroras [5'10" | CW: 125lbs | GW: 115lbs |19F]
Created: Sun Nov 5 12:36:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7azqo8/ive_always_been_thin_so_no_one_cares_if_im_hurting/
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No one cares about my eating problems sine I'm already kind of skinny. I've been this way since the start of high school. Yeah I was one of those teens that could what ever they wanted to without gaining a single pound. Fuck me right? I know a lot of people would love to be at my height and weight, but I want my weight to be lower. I can't tell others this. If I ever tell anyone that I think I might have an ed, they'll all laugh. No one can imagine that Ive ever binged, restricted, or fasted. Yet at 16 I'd count calories and worry at the thought of gaining one pound. Ive hidden in my car once trying not to cry from my stomach pains. I try to skip meals whenever I can. I always wear layers cause Im always cold. Ive gotten depressed, and even had anxiety from looking at a mirror. But hey, Im already thin, so no one cares.
[Rant/Rave] No self control whatsoever
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 63 kg | BMI: 23.4 | -20.5 kg | 21F]
Created: Sun Nov 5 12:25:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7azo3n/no_self_control_whatsoever/
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My day started good, didn't eat til 20 minutes ago when my dad came into the room with a bag of tortilla chips and a bowl of melted cheddar cheese. Do I need to say more? I finally got off of my plateau 2 days ago and what did I do? Sabotage myself what else?! The day before yesterday I did well...and then ate a whole bag of potatoe chips. Yesterday I did well and ate nothing until I got into the cinema and ordered nachos with cheese...today I was back up to 63.4kg from previously 62.5kg 😑 doesn't help that my period started today so I don't know if I'm retaining water or if I actually gained. Hope yall are doing better than petty me.
[Discussion] I can't see my ribs
/u/kittybunny75 [5'6 | CW:100 | BMI: 16.1 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 5 12:11:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7azksw/i_cant_see_my_ribs/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Feeling sorry for myself
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 5 11:36:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7azcab/feeling_sorry_for_myself/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] People keep saying they're noticing my weight loss but I look the exact same?
/u/PM_M3_UR_SECRETS
Created: Sun Nov 5 11:25:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7az9he/people_keep_saying_theyre_noticing_my_weight_loss/
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Yesterday I saw my boyfriends parents and they both, independently from one another, told me I'd lost weight/"gotten slim". And today my bf told me his dad told him he thought I "shouldn't lose more weight" after I was gone. People have been telling me I've lost weight fairly often recently, and of course I'm super happy about it, but I feel like they're either all delusional or lying to me.
I have lost weight, but much less than I did about a year back and back then nobody said much about my weight at all. I'm still at an objectively high weight, I am so confused as to why they would say that when I'm quite obviously bigger than most people. And it's not body dysmorphia, the numbers don't lie.
Have any of you had similar experiences and does anybody know what might make people say that? I know it sounds like a weird disordered thing to say but it's definitely not because of my actual weight. It's just so confusing and it triggers binges for me and I don't know how to deal with it, I just want to scream at them and tell them not to lie to me.
[Rant/Rave] FINALLY!
/u/UnforgivingLoaf
Created: Sun Nov 5 11:10:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7az63l/finally/
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It took what feels like forever but I finally broke through my plateau! I was so thrilled to see the scale not only finally drop but by two lbs. I didn’t think it would happen at all because I’ve been back and forth with my anorexia and bulimia for the past 11 years and thought my body was just done. But now the woosh is coming and I could t be happier. I hope y’all are all doing well today! xxx
[Other] Boyfriend may or may not know about my account and my ED now so just wanna call it out here: hi dude lmao
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 5 10:31:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ayx8e/boyfriend_may_or_may_not_know_about_my_account/
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[removed]
[Help] Millie's sipping broth recommendations?
/u/disbeetch [5'3'' | 130 | 23.0 | -38 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 5 10:09:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ays28/millies_sipping_broth_recommendations/
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i've been looking in stores for this for months and i'm just biting the bullet and ordering some on amazon. what are your favorites?? can't decide which one to try
[Help] DAE get red spots on their legs while losing?
/u/Suusss
Created: Sun Nov 5 09:39:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ayl6m/dae_get_red_spots_on_their_legs_while_losing/
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So heyall - I have been steadily losing since Sept., and have been restricting to ~700, going to the gym every two days for a 500cal burn, and generally walking more.
So I have like... pimples on my legs and thighs - they look like ingrown hairs, but they... dont seem like it (lmfao i dont have the kind of skin complexion I have on my face on my legs) ??? and so random bc I dont shave my legs. I have had these things before from losing weight, but I do not know what is really going on. Is this some kind of chemical reaction?
JW if anyone else has been alarmed or knows about this.
[Goal] Finally back at my real current weight on here 😸
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Sun Nov 5 09:27:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ayip7/finally_back_at_my_real_current_weight_on_here/
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I went up to around 112/ 115 the beginning of September due to sooo much binging, if felt horrible but I couldn't change my CW on here or MFP out of pure depression until I got there again. I weighed in this morning at 107.4, I haven't weighed in since I started back on track. I've been journaling on paper and sticking to 900-1200 cals. "According to that I should be 100-101 in five weeks" lolol MFP! I'm finally back at it! 🎀 my weekend is for once 😊
[Discussion] November 5th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 5 09:11:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ayf17/november_5th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What should remain as-is?
[Discussion] Going dark
/u/Ladybeeortoise [5'6" | 109 |17.5 | GW: 105 | 34]
Created: Sun Nov 5 09:08:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ayedo/going_dark/
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I know I’m somewhat new here but I’m going to try to maintain and get healthier. My family deserves it. I don’t know how this will go as I am still not 100% ready to get help. I don’t feel like I’m even that small but that’s a whole other can of worms.
My boyfriend went through my phone and found my posts to this community. He knew I was sick but he was under the impression that I was trying to maintain. I wasn’t. I kept losing. He knows my goal weight and it ended up causing quite the confrontation. I’m riddled with guilt for deceiving him.
I realized, like others have before, this sub is not the best for recovery. I find I gravitate towards these communities the deeper I get in to my ED. My son will be a teenager soon. He deserves a healthy mother. He deserves to not worry about whether or not I’m going to die. He deserves to not be made fun of by his peers at school based off how I look. He deserves so much more and I want to be the one that shows him how much more he deserves.
My boyfriend doesn’t deserve this shit. He didn’t sign up to be a caretaker. He didn’t ask for this level of crazy. But he’s still here and I need to realize that means a fuck ton. I must be worth saving right? I should at least try. If only to show him that I am so sorry for putting him through this. If only to see if maybe I am worth something to someone. Maybe? I don’t know if I’m wording that correctly. If he can put up with all of my shit and not run for the hills I should at least put forth the effort to help myself. I dunno.
This has turned in to a ramble. I want to say I’ve never felt more “at home” than I have here. I found a place in which I can unload my inner thoughts and feeling without fear of judgement. This is a sub that I can read through and relate to every fucking post. I don’t want to leave but it’s for the best if I’m going to seriously try to make the best of this short time on Earth. ✌🏻❤️
[Rant/Rave] I wonder what my ancestors will think of me
/u/lavenderbruises [5'9"|CW 110| GW 100| BMI 16| 19F]
Created: Sun Nov 5 08:47:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ay9ok/i_wonder_what_my_ancestors_will_think_of_me/
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Basically, my ancestors were like Chinese peasants. They were so poor that my great-grandpa’s little sister was sold to a rich family for food money (not an uncommon thing back then).
Meanwhile, here I am, in the 21st century in a rich country with access to all the food I could possibly want. I have the means to eat steak every night if I so choose. My grandpa gave me $500 for food before I left for university. I could be eating so well.
Yet I willingly CHOOSE to starve myself in order to lose weight. So I could look emaciated.
Its sad but funny at the same time. What would my ancestors think of me? In fact, what will any teenage girl in some impoverished country think of me?
Anorexia is really a “first world” problem.
[Intro] Starting over (sexual assault tw)
/u/sea_castle [5'3" | CW 101.2 | 18.42 | -11 | GW 88 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 5 08:15:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ay341/starting_over_sexual_assault_tw/
---
Hi all,
I was really involved on here several months ago with a different account. I was doing really well with restricting and completely obsessed with counting and logging calories, but my health started deteriorating in a host of ways and I got scared. I felt like the sub was enabling my ED, so I left and continued to restrict in "secret." My health issues continued, but didn't worsen, and I was still (slowly) losing, so I thought everything was okay.
Then I was rear-ended a month ago, and it completely destroyed my already-fragile mental/emotional health. I binged, for the first time in months, for weeks straight and undid months of progress. I tried to get back on track with EC stacks, but I was still lazy about logging, and at one point I think I overdid it on the caffeine and almost passed out. I stopped stacking and tried to eat "normally" (lmao!!!) for a couple weeks, but it kept devolving into binging, and I'm getting super disgusted with my body again and all this fat and water weight or whatever needs to get the fuck off me right now.
I know the return of my dysmorphia is at least partially fueled by something that happened to me yesterday...long story short, I was having sex with a guy I really liked but didn't know all that well, and at some point during the middle of things he took the condom off and I didn't realize until way after the fact. This was after I had a serious talk with him about how important it was to me that he wear one and him being really receptive and understanding, so I feel like my trust and body have both been violated. I'm on the pill so I'm not worried about pregnancy, but I have to go get tested and I'm just so angry and upset and icky feeling and I want to wash myself out with bleach.
Of course I can't do that, but somehow I feel like I can reclaim my body by restricting. And if restricting is going to help me cope and help me get skinny again then so fucking be it. I have a new plan and an old goal, and I'm going to start logging and weighing myself again and post in the diary.
Basically I'm starting over, and I'm back here to keep myself accountable, and to have some company because I can't deal with all of this alone anymore. I know what happened to me could have been a lot worse, and I'm grateful it wasn't, but this was already more than my extremely brittle mental health could take and I could really really use some support and a return to normalcy, as fucked up as my "normal" is.
Thank you all for being here and for being awesome. I'm looking forward to getting to know everyone again. Hugs all around <3
[Discussion] trick to visible ribs
/u/ankrage
Created: Sun Nov 5 07:54:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7axyub/trick_to_visible_ribs/
---
Be the only female news reporter at a podunk paper, get assigned a bunch of #metoo stories, interview a bunch of rape survivors, relive your own rape that no one knows about, interview a rapist, try to write an article, cry for three days straight, don’t turn anything in, avoid calls from your boss, forget about weighing yourself or eating or sleeping, look down....and ribs!
Yay?
[Discussion] Is anyone on Fitbit? I wanna do the challenges but you can’t without friends. Drop your handle if you have one. :) TIA
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Sun Nov 5 07:45:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7axx1t/is_anyone_on_fitbit_i_wanna_do_the_challenges_but/
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[Rant/Rave] Haven't weighed myself in days. Can't stop eating like shit.
/u/Elope
Created: Sun Nov 5 07:39:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7axw5s/havent_weighed_myself_in_days_cant_stop_eating/
---
Want to fucking die. I need to fast for the rest of the day. I have to weigh myself tomorrow and snap out of this bullshit. I haven't even really been calorie counting. What the fuck is wrong with me? I was one pound off my low weight. And I've fucking screwed everything up. Again.
Honestly, would just love a bullet to whatever part of my brain is responsible for this.
If the scale shows something awful I don't know what I'm gonna do.
Fuck me
[Rant/Rave] I'm changing illnesses lol
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 5 07:29:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7axu9t/im_changing_illnesses_lol/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Therapist refuses to do trauma work with me until I stop engaging in my ED
/u/fieryanxiety
Created: Sun Nov 5 07:25:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7axtcm/therapist_refuses_to_do_trauma_work_with_me_until/
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I'm new to this thread, but I'm so glad I found people who really get it. So I've heard that alot of our eating disorders stem from the need for control. In my case, that's probably true. This is not a sexual assault thread, but my eating disorder began around the time this stopped. Focusing all my energy on food, calories, progress, collar bones and hip bones helped me not think about the things that happened.
My therapist, who really is a great lady, told me that she will not get into trauma work with me until my eating has stabilized. I was so angry. How can you take away my only way to deal with this shit? I made a hard decision to halt my disordered eating. I seriously resent her for it, but I NEED help with the trauma. But dealing with these things and not having my eating disorder to fall back on makes me feel so powerless. Like I am a slave to my pain and emotions. Every single day is a struggle. I am no longer in the "underweight" range and I feel a serious loss. it's harder for me to talk about this stuff now. My brain keeps telling me "fat girls can't be victims. Nobody cares about fat girls." this makes no sense, I know that.. but can anyone relate to this thought?? Anyway I just wanted to get this off my chest to people who understand..
[Help] Warm safe foods and recipes?
/u/sororityasian [5'4" | -5lbs | GW: 110lbs]
Created: Sun Nov 5 07:17:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7axrwy/warm_safe_foods_and_recipes/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I only feel beautiful when my stomach is empty.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 5 06:12:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7axgpy/i_only_feel_beautiful_when_my_stomach_is_empty/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Got a week off work, controlled bingeing now so I can keep restricting all week.
/u/Bathoriel
Created: Sun Nov 5 05:47:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7axcvr/got_a_week_off_work_controlled_bingeing_now_so_i/
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My usual routine is black coffee and 10 calorie mints during the day and a healthy 600-800 calorie meal at night buuuut since I'm on holiday this week, I know I'm gonna struggle to stay under 1000c a day.
My weekends are usually more loosely controlled calorie-wise anyway, but I thought I'd get rid of all the temptation junk in the house today to keep me on track the rest of the week and it looks like today's a 2000 calorie day, I almost wish I hadn't bothered adding it all up haha.
Taking the opportunity with all the extra energy to do more exercise and so far, I should still be at a 1000 calorie deficit for the day.
Also though I'm so full! I don't know how I'm going to manage to eat everything!
Does anyone else plan a "binge" like this to save them from themselves later?
[Help] I feel really uncomfortable in my own body
/u/whitelilac29
Created: Sun Nov 5 05:21:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ax9gl/i_feel_really_uncomfortable_in_my_own_body/
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I don't know what to do. I'm scared to lose more weight, because I just know people will accuse me of having a problem, but I would love to lose weight if nobody noticed. I technically fasted for over 24 hours yesterday (but I don't count that because I ate before I went to bed) and it felt so good. I hate myself at this weight, and I never want to gain weight, that's terrifying. And I feel like there's nothing I can do because if I eat a lot I start to feel disgusting but if I don't eat people will say things about me or force me to. I just feel so uncomfortable in my own body is it like this for anyone else or just me?
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 05, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Nov 5 05:11:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ax7zv/daily_food_diary_november_05_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 05, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your latest grocery+food hauls!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Nov 5 05:10:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ax7ye/sunday_share_your_latest_groceryfood_hauls/
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Feel welcome to post pics of your latest and greatest hauls~! Consider adding commentary on:
* what country you're in
* what store, site, market or Co-op you shopped at
* how much you spent or any sweet deals you found
[Rant/Rave] still on track for my november goals! reflections so far~~
/u/seawardwaves [5'8" | cw~127 gw~115]
Created: Sun Nov 5 01:51:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7awe7g/still_on_track_for_my_november_goals_reflections/
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a few days into november, finally bounced back from my end-of-october halloween binge. i hit a new lw this morning, 126.2 lbs!! finally broke out of the 127-130 cycle i've been in for a few weeks.
and today i've been trying to come to terms with something. one of my goals for november is to not binge.
the last few days i've restricted to roughly sub 600, save for a 36 hour fast. today, when i woke up, i could feel a binge coming. i was shaky, ravenous, and couldn't stop thinking about food.
so i had a cup of broth, and entertained myself by making cookies. i was/am so proud of my self control there, i made a huge batch of cookies for my family and didn't have *any*. baking apparently is a good way to not spiral into my head.
i got myself through the afternoon on a piece of chocolate and two apples, for just under 200 calories total.
and then i got a poke bowl with my mum for dinner. (was amazing, and fairly low cal i estimate!) but still, i was shaky. pre-binge mode, very much so. all i wanted was a fuck ton of reese's peanut butter cups.
so i went home, and ate some more chocolate and (my first ever!) pint of halo top, the peanut butter cup flavor. which was perfect. 10/10 satisfied my craving.
i dont feel as shaky, or as pre-bingey anymore. and sure, i'm sitting at some 15-1600 calories for today, the most of the month. but if i tried to low restrict today, it was just gonna end in binging tomorrow. sometimes, i have to give myself a little more just so i can keep giving myself less.
the hardest thing rn is not going 'oh shit i ate a lot today better just say fuck it and eat *all* the leftover cookies downstairs.' but i'm not gonna. i'm fine. tomorrow i'll do sub 400.
no binge november, fuck yaaaaaaa here i come
edit~~hahhahahahahahaha woke up this morning and am binging rn someone kill me i hate myself why am i like this
rip no binge november
[Goal] Maintenance calories and goal setting - am I doing this right?
/u/FlabbyWhiteThighs [5'4"|117lb|22F]
Created: Sun Nov 5 01:09:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aw9ei/maintenance_calories_and_goal_setting_am_i_doing/
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My GW (as of now) is 99 lbs. that's a little less than 20 lb away for me. I did some number crunching to see how much I would have to eat to maintain at that weight - which hopefully I'll have the strength to do once I get there - and it came out to around 1850 cal/day. I guess my new goal is to eat 1200-1850 MAX each day (eat for the body you want, right?) which is an average of 1525 a day. According to losertown, allowing for some wiggle room, I should get to 99 by May 1, 2018. That seems so far away. But I guess it gives me more of a chance of LASTING weight loss than losing the same 5-10 lbs year after year. Am I doing this right or am I totally wrong on these numbers? Does this sound like a good plan or am I just making excuses for me to eat more than I should?
[Rant/Rave] Partner is happy with me losing weight!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 5 01:01:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aw8cf/partner_is_happy_with_me_losing_weight/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I stopped myself from binging chocolate milk
/u/2girly4me [5'6 | SW 145# | CW 135# | GW 120# | 20F]
Created: Sun Nov 5 01:00:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aw86q/i_stopped_myself_from_binging_chocolate_milk/
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I just avoided a tall glass of chocolate milk (40 oz of milk, 6 tbsp of chocolate syrup, 800 cal total) by pouring it down the drain. I panicked, and almost took it back like how a child would when someone takes away a toy. But I did it. I'm trying to tell myself, it is not a waste of food. The truth is, it's a waste if I use it on myself. I need to lose this weight.
I already B/P'ed twice today. I don't need another.
I do feel better after pouring it down the drain. I don't know why I do this.
[Rant/Rave] I was purging and my nail cut the back of my throat
/u/im_disappearing
Created: Sun Nov 5 00:24:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aw384/i_was_purging_and_my_nail_cut_the_back_of_my/
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[removed]
[Other] I’m scared
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'3"|110| 25F]
Created: Sat Nov 4 23:32:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7avw16/im_scared/
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I’m gonna go and call up a psychiatrist Monday I will, I’ll have to.
My need to purge and my view on food and myself isn’t something that correlates with me living longer. I have to live. I think I want to. I don’t and I should not care whether someone is thinner than me or better at this ED thing than I am or whatever because that someone isn’t me at the end of the day, dealing with my shit and my thoughts at night.
I have no control over food and purging is still happening whether I feel I have control or not. And it’s been 7 years and what am I supposed to do if I can’t fight this on my own? Wait another 7 years when my body breaks down more and more....?
Gaining weight is scary and it’s daunting and changes are too but .....I’m scared I’ll lose my teeth and my later years when I keep allowing this.
Fuck I don’t want this but I can’t stay here either
Don’t purge it’ll fuck you up.
[Rant/Rave] I dont deserve food or happiness
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 4 22:14:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7avk5n/i_dont_deserve_food_or_happiness/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Okay, is it just me or does TV make it seem like women only eat salads.
/u/NotStephany [5'5| 193 | 32.49 | -101lbs | F]
Created: Sat Nov 4 21:08:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7av9d0/okay_is_it_just_me_or_does_tv_make_it_seem_like/
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I’ve noticed this over the course of time that television shows featuring female characters in restaurants, or on a date, or just lunch with the girls, they are almost *always* eating salads.
It’s really hard to explain, but it’s just weird that as much tv as i watch (and i mean i watch a lot of tv, very unhealthy) it’s rare i see women eating meals like steak or spaghetti, it’s always something small and dainty.
Idk maybe that’s where some of our or at least my ED stems from. Seeing women always being so....just fragile and light and always eating less and less , somewhere down the line i idolized that.
Then again, i just smoked some weed and unfortunately my moms boyfriend is cooking and idk what it is but it smells so good and i know if i go in there i’m going to binge eat and that’d suck considering I am fasting so far at 1day, 19minutes.
[Rant/Rave] Rave / Hip bonessss
/u/rebootfalcon [5'9" | CW: 149 lb | GW: 141 | UGW: 127 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 4 20:57:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7av7di/rave_hip_bonessss/
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I like to stand at my desk at work, and lately when I lean against it I can feel my hip bones pushing on the hard edge and it feels like progress. Even in layered clothing and a lab coat, the fact that I can tell there's significantly less fat over my bones than there was two months ago is really satisfying.
I also just watched To The Bone tonight, and I know there are widely varied opinions on it but personally I liked it. Lukas was obnoxious, and the treatment center/doctor seemed really weird, but I liked Eli a lot and I see a lot of myself in her. I might just watch the whole thing again tonight.
[Rant/Rave] I fucked up (LONG)
/u/murdermttens [5'6"| fat |gw 98| F]
Created: Sat Nov 4 20:21:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7av17g/i_fucked_up_long/
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I need to get this out. I made a promise the other day (due to a post here) to NOT dwell on October. To take November as a new leaf. It’s only 04Nov and it’s still fucked up.
This week was hard. There’s no underlining reason really (I don’t think?) but it hit me like a fucking storm. I wanted to do a 7day fast (not uncommon for me, fairly simple especially by day 3). At some point during the day I just snapped. My safe foods weren’t even safe anymore. I so badly did not want to break my fast. I said alright, get out of the house. It’s Saturday. Do SOMETHING other than cook, clean, play with the kids etc.
Back story (ish, relevant): My oldest son is 9 and he is my errand buddy. I hate shopping. I loathe it. But it’s so wonderful to just do mom & him time. He’s doing so freakin well in school. He is so absolutely lovely with his younger brother and sister (both under 4). So together he and I will do errands, talk, joke around, answer questions. He is freaking amazing at school (he just won an award for exemplary behavior and contributions to his school! Omg!!!!!) we play TONS of co/op games. Like LEGO, roblox, etc. he is really sometimes my backbone to ‘reality’ and keeps me tuned to reality. For example, my husband, the kids and I went to sprint to order a new phone and change our plan. My son was helping entertain his 1 y/o brother (he was trying to push the pram and my oldest was guiding him so he could make sure he didn’t run into things etc). My 3 yr old was sitting next to two older women. They were just being kids, occupying themselves and being mindful of those around them. My 1 yr old loves to babble so he would navigate the pram to talk to these two woman. Fast forward 20 mins. As they were leaving one woman came up to me and said ‘I just wanted to say your children are such a delight and the way they engage and listen means they feel secure about themselves” the other (older woman) thanked me for letting the kids entertain her while they waited. I think I actually blushed lol. It was really just such a wonderful compliment to receive. My kids truly are wonderful and I feel so proud of each of them every single day.
Fast forward to today and my moment of fuck-it-all. I almost caved and needed to just get out. I normally would bring all 3 kids because I think it’s just good for them to get out and it’s a fun way to bond and talk in the van, etc. but I only brought my oldest because I just needed my ‘buddy’. He’s a really cool kid and I love to just spend time with him. Sucks being the oldest sometimes so going alone means a lot at times. He freaking walked all over Kroger with me for an HOUR for me to finally settle on three 60 cent packets of sugar free jello, some rest (tazao dessert delights omg so good). I let him chill at the toy section for a bit, I’m not super evil, lol.
We got home and it all came back. I was fine being out and about and I had my errand buddy. Got home and made lunch for everyone. I completely internally freaked out. I wasn’t hungry, I wasn’t exactly craving anything. My inner self was just saying “shove all 8 servings of those two side dish packets in your face”. I didn’t. I took 2 Benadryl when the younger two took a nap. Woke up about 2 hr later when they did. Then again, my body just wanted to shove fucking anything down my throat.
So what did I do? Heat left overs for dinner? All the tasty healthy stuff for the week? AHAHAHA yeah ok. Spent 33$ at Wendy’s. I hate fast food. My kids don’t really like it, my husband will eat it if we travel. I literally just picked anything off the menu for everyone and kids meals. I scarfed down shit ton of water and a cheeseburger. Got vehemently sick. Purged. Scarfed down some small frenchfries and some lemonade that tasted like sugar water. Purge. And ofc luck have it, massive nose bleed during. Didn’t stop me. I felt like my body wanted to intentionally kill itself.
I ate some starburst and tried to purge but candy is so fucking stupid hard to do and I know my stomach is all fucked up right now. So what did I do? Wait for the kids to be in bed, read a book with my youngest, and promptly went to have a few drinks.
I feel like the shittiest person and the worst fucking mother. I don’t know what broke in me today. If I drink I stop feeling like food is a scape goat. But now I’m drinking. I drank once this week (halloween) already and to drink again feels like I’m just escaping reality. I guess I am. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me today but I’m so thankful that I have three incredibly wonderful children to live for day in, day out.
I’m sorry I just needed to get it out. To someone, anyone. This time a journal and a drawing can’t save my mind.
[Help] HELP..working long-hours with an Ed
/u/Sisithrowaway123
Created: Sat Nov 4 20:12:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7auzpd/helpworking_longhours_with_an_ed/
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Hi everyone! I have never really posted before, but this is one of my favorite subs for obvious reasons (have had ANA/EDNOS for over ~10y). Im currently a 23yo female who is about to get a real job and Im beyond scared :(( I have good days and never been IP, but I feel like a ticking bomb who is about to explode at any given moment. With an Ed I dont know whether I can cope with a stressful job. I just graduated from med school and the next step is to get into residency, which basically means I will be working around 50h/week, under a lot of pressure, starting January. If you are wondering how I managed through med school, well...I have lived at my mom’s through college and I have put myself through hell to not fail any year, but my academic performance was quite mediocre.
Plus I dread the day anyone finds out about my anorexia. Im barely underweight and none of my oblivious friends and collegues ever suspected so far... xD
But what if they do!? What if I cant fake anymore?!
Anyone here can offer me some advice? Honestly, I believe I was better off dead. :( and please forgive any language mistakes, but english is not my first language.
[Help] Tumblr thinspo blog recs?
/u/vkomova [5'11 | ugh | ugh | ugh | F]
Created: Sat Nov 4 19:46:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7auv02/tumblr_thinspo_blog_recs/
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[removed]
I feel so alone
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 4 19:18:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aupro/i_feel_so_alone/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Mother is a nurse for EDs and always angry at me?
/u/325896471
Created: Sat Nov 4 18:57:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aulir/mother_is_a_nurse_for_eds_and_always_angry_at_me/
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To preface this i don't have an eating disorder. Maybe some disordered habits like restricting to 800cal a day and obsessively planning, weighing and counting food but that's it. Bmi 19? So I'm not underweight.
My mother is a nurse for people with eating disorders. Anytime she sees me weighing food or i excitedly mention a low cal recipe she gets angry and says stuff like "You're not coming to *my* ward" or "Your face looks gaunt like the girls in my ward"
What do I do? How do i get her to back off?
[Rant/Rave] I want a thigh gap so badly
/u/deadpic [62.5 in | nah | ~22 | 0.003 | no gender]
Created: Sat Nov 4 18:38:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7auhx0/i_want_a_thigh_gap_so_badly/
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I've been running 5-6 days a week for about a month and a half but I'm still a size 4-6 in pants (although I've lost much stomach fat).
Running has decreased by outer thigh fat dramatically, but not so much inner thighs.
What can I do to lose thigh fat? I've read that thigh fat is harder to lose (because it's subcutaneous and not visceral, blah blah science) but I am *determined* to get one.
I just don't want to resort to plastic surgery.
[Rant/Rave] Found new protein bar
/u/fitisthegoal
Created: Sat Nov 4 18:30:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7augbm/found_new_protein_bar/
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So I don't know if a lot of you have Harris Teeter or probably Kroger as well but Simple Truth protein bars are 89 cents and 21 grams of protein and range from 190-230 calorie!
Good flavors so far and much cheaper than quest bars 😅
[Tip] Gelatin and miracle noodle soup
/u/Notsadenough
Created: Sat Nov 4 18:17:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7audqr/gelatin_and_miracle_noodle_soup/
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Making soup with a gelatin water base and using miracle zero cal noodles for the bulk is so filling and great for cold weather! I did 3 cups water with 4 tablespoons gelatin powder, 1 package fettuccine noodles, 1/2 cup of beet juice and sauerkraut juice, added 1 cup dry sauerkraut, 2 cup small beet cubes, and a few orange carrot slices with a little pepper and garlic seasoning for 150cal a serving (3 total)and very filling! The noodles go right through you and take on the flavor of your seasonings if you simmer them in the gelatin/water base first. Also add the beets LAST mine blanched and it took away that sweetness that balances the sauerkraut out.
Really you can add anything you want to make a soothing soup within your caloric goals.
[Rant/Rave] So sick of this shit (rant, ignore me)
/u/FeedMeDreams [5'5" | 66.9kg | 24.6 | F | bulimic]
Created: Sat Nov 4 18:06:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aub6x/so_sick_of_this_shit_rant_ignore_me/
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So I put on weight again because of my b/p indulgence which has been worse than usual lately. I care, but I don't care. I ran out of money again, I'm falling behind at work again, I never talk to my friends, I never leave the house except to go to work or buy binge food. I hate my life and I want it to end but I know I'll never have the courage to end it myself. I don't even want to recover any more, or get better, I just want to be skinny again.
Anyway I have yet another eating plan which is quite restrictive and ambitious and probably won't work, but it's the only solution I can think of. It's very low-carb so I'll feel like I'm dying, and very bland and repetitive so I'll get bored of it but at least I won't have to make any decisions. I wish I could channel all this frustration into restricting, but I just don't have it in me. I don't think any of this will ever change.
[Thinspo] Fav thinspo
/u/Kitty_Valentine666
Created: Sat Nov 4 18:04:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7auaw4/fav_thinspo/
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https://imgur.com/a/aFQb8
[Discussion] Does anyone else put off going to the doctor b/c they know they're going to be weighed?
/u/imfinehowaboutyou
Created: Sat Nov 4 18:04:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7auaro/does_anyone_else_put_off_going_to_the_doctor_bc/
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It's so stressful.
[Thinspo] Thinspooo favs
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 4 18:03:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7auald/thinspooo_favs/
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https://i.imgur.com/YkLftrn.jpg
Nfjeic
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 4 18:02:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7auafq/nfjeic/
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https://i.imgur.com/YkLftrn.jpg
[Thinspo] Thinspo edits I made from Satanorexia bodychecks.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 4 17:59:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7au9w4/thinspo_edits_i_made_from_satanorexia_bodychecks/
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https://i.imgur.com/4FVwi2a.jpg
[Other] Finding a picture of me @14 at the worst of my ED makes me want to go back. Those jeans were a UK4 (0) and I’ve pretty much doubled in size since recovery
/u/ireallylikerent [5'1" | GW: 80lbs | Post-Recovery | 16F]
Created: Sat Nov 4 17:40:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7au5z7/finding_a_picture_of_me_14_at_the_worst_of_my_ed/
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https://i.redd.it/py13p20fo1wz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Someone noticed my weight loss, red flags are raising for people
/u/whatsupbuttercup5 [5'3" | CW 102.0 | GW 92 | HW 124 | LW 98 | 25F]
Created: Sat Nov 4 17:14:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7au0wx/someone_noticed_my_weight_loss_red_flags_are/
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I'll try to keep this brief. Basically my friend (Laura) is pretty aware of what is going on with me. I see her like 40+ hrs a week in class, and then often more outside of that, and I'm pretty open about how much I'm eating (about 650 cals per day, often less). I've dropped 10 pounds in the past month.
So Laura is getting pretty concerned I have an ED. I maintain I don't because I feel like it's a choice with a clear GW in mind. She said if it got worse she might have to go to my faculty advisor out of concern and she knows I have a good relationship with advisor.
So the other day I had to go see advisor for something and she asked me if I lost weight. (This woman is HELLA observant and insightful. I think she can like read people's souls through their eyes or something.) I told her yes. She thought it was thyroid related (she knows I have a thyroid problem) and I said it was intentional. Stupid probably but I'm honestly proud of my self-restraint and didn't want it to be considered accidental.
So she looked kinda surprised and I was like no don't worry I'll stop at goal and she's like "well I think you're there." lol and I told her people are keeping an eye on me and someone tried to stage an intervention on me already. She's like 'well now I'm keeping an eye on you too.' Great. She will DEF notice now. She also told us a story in class a few months ago about her friend in HS who had an eating disorder so I feel like she's extra observant.
So I told Laura about this. NEXT day Laura has to go see another faculty member for something. Basically says she was planning to go see my advisor to discuss me but didn't have time. I basically think it's a matter of time now. Dreading to get called in.
I just don't even know where to go from here. At this point Laura knows everything, so even if I start lying (I HATE lying), the two of them are going to notice and conspire. And I'm conflicted because I feel AWESOME that someone who didn't even know what was going on noticed the weight loss but I also feel shitty for this poor faculty member who got stuck with me and all my issues.
Thanks for reading. Desperately need some kind of response from people who get it.
[Discussion] How much do y'all wanna lose before Christmas Day/New Years?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 4 17:05:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7atz4r/how_much_do_yall_wanna_lose_before_christmas/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I’ve eaten so much recently I’ve gone back to my starting weight. How do I stop bingeing? How do I stop being a fat disappointment?
/u/OperatingOnScientist [5'3 | 128.6lbs | 23.41 | F | UGW 100lbs]
Created: Sat Nov 4 17:03:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7atyrk/ive_eaten_so_much_recently_ive_gone_back_to_my/
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[removed]
[Tip] new soup recipe
/u/101_honey [🌼5'1.5" / cw-2fat // wl-n/a (yet) // bmi-29 // gw-101]
Created: Sat Nov 4 16:45:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7atvbc/new_soup_recipe/
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[removed]
[Help] Purging question
/u/letmebelittle [5'7" | CW: 122.8 lbs | BMI: 19.2 | WL: 87 lbs | Female]
Created: Sat Nov 4 16:45:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7atv8p/purging_question/
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Does purging ever make you feel really light-headed and exhausted? I just purged for the second time today (which is normal for me), but am feeling extra garbage-y after this time around. Has anyone else ever felt like this after purging? Moreso, was it an indicator of a more serious issue bc I'm so not down for having to deal with consequences for my shitty behaviour LOL
An ED prisoner's dilemma...
/u/jjfmish [5'6 | HW:163lbs CW:148lbs GW:120lbs | 19/F]
Created: Sat Nov 4 16:38:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7attvv/an_ed_prisoners_dilemma/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] A little selfspo. Throwback to around a year ago. I will be back there, I swear.
/u/Kitty_Valentine666
Created: Sat Nov 4 16:10:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ato9w/a_little_selfspo_throwback_to_around_a_year_ago_i/
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https://i.redd.it/ygo3y8sf81wz.jpg
Throwback to about a year ago. I wish I could go back.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 4 16:00:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7atltz/throwback_to_about_a_year_ago_i_wish_i_could_go/
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https://i.redd.it/072r8yhm61wz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] The most stubborn 3IBS ever????
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW: 142 |CW: 125 |20.6 |GW 115 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 4 15:45:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7atiq1/the_most_stubborn_3ibs_ever/
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I’m literally so frustrated. Between Halloween candy (which I really only ate in moderation on Halloween and the day after) and literally the smallest amount of Chinese food a few days ago, I went from 125-126 to 128-129. I’ve been drinking water and working out and doing everything I could but I feel like the weight still isn’t coming off and I’m confused and concerned. Even on the days I ate candy, I didn’t eat more than 500 calories. I’m praying that I didn’t somehow gain legitimate weight and that this is still bloating from my period and stuff but I feel gross and uuughgg
This is like a repeat of my last post but I’m freaking out because I go to FL in 3 days and I just want to be at a low weight. Doesn’t help that I’ll be staying with family and restricting will likely be a bit harder. I’m just so freaked out. I don’t want to gain weight and I’m already looking in the mirror and seeing myself as fat even though I know I’m not but it’s fat to my standards and I’m like making myself miserable uuuughggghgg
The most stubborn 3 IBS ever????
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 4 15:44:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7atigq/the_most_stubborn_3_ibs_ever/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] planning a weeks worth of meals?
/u/daisyhands
Created: Sat Nov 4 15:24:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ateka/planning_a_weeks_worth_of_meals/
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okay so i just planned out everything im going to eat for 7 days, put it all in little plastic baggies and labelled the bags with the day of the week and the calories. i feel like this will help me not binge if i tell myself "this is all of the food you can have today in this bag" idk if it's a good idea because if i fuck up i'll be so disappointed and sad. i'll try it out for a week and see what happens, i guess. i just wanted to type this out
[Rant/Rave] i have never considered myself fat until today.
/u/audreybelle_
Created: Sat Nov 4 15:01:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7at9ub/i_have_never_considered_myself_fat_until_today/
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today, i argued with my mom, and was sent over to my dads house. i have been having a bad day. to make it worse, my dad felt the need to compare
me, a fourteen year old 5’3 135lbs teenager, to his 35 year old petite 5’0 95lbs wife. every time i visit his house, he always says something about my size. last time i came over, he said to my fifteen year old brother “do you tell people you have a little big sister? do you tell your friends she’s bigger than you?” i cried on the way home. today, he says “(insert my name) are you bigger than (insert wife name) yet?” she refuses to stand next to me, and tells him its wrong to compare her weight to a growing teenage girl. my dad then goes to my little brother, and says “this is your big sister. see, she’s not little like your other sisters (my other sisters are 9 and 12, and he wasn’t talking about age.) i cried again, in the bathroom for ten minutes. i feel awful, and i feel fat again for the first time in 2 years. thank you, dad. thank you for giving me even more of a reason to restrict until i am finally 115lbs.
[Discussion] first successful purge in three years today
/u/AugustusMarius [5'1|CW 200|GW 110|-20|22/M]
Created: Sat Nov 4 14:59:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7at9i8/first_successful_purge_in_three_years_today/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Not EVERYTHING is because of my ED
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Sat Nov 4 14:21:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7at1ke/not_everything_is_because_of_my_ed/
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Rant incoming
I’m so tired of my friends and family attributing everything to me ED. Tired? “Well hmm maybe eat more.” Oh I guess working 80 hours this we and no sleep last night doesn’t matter. Back sore? “Well hmm if you didn’t exercise so much.” Oh it couldn’t be that I slept in an uncomfortable position or slipped and fell. They don’t even recognize progress it’s like they ignore key words. “I’m going to rest today instead of my usual workout.” “And you wonder why you always feel bad?” Wtf! I didn’t say I felt bad and I just said I’m doing less. It’s like you can’t win for losing, it’s so hurtful. I’m not just my disorder. Nor can I change overnight.
[Help] Migraines
/u/bannaberry
Created: Sat Nov 4 13:53:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7asvdl/migraines/
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I have a question for y'all about migraines. I've been restricting heavily lately and it's been causing migraine issues during work hours. I'm guessing it's because of the skipped meals and migraine pills aren't helping anymore. So does anyone have any recommendations on how to help the pain?
[Rant/Rave] A crazy rant about my ridiculous eating, feel free to ignore it
/u/clementinecutie1
Created: Sat Nov 4 13:45:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7astmk/a_crazy_rant_about_my_ridiculous_eating_feel_free/
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I have at various points thought that I might have anorexia, bulimia, orthorexia, bed, and ednos. Literally all of those (not all at the same time obviously). People have kind of accused me of having anorexia before, but they were never completely suspicious. Right now, I just think maybe I'm making up my symptoms? I don't know. I can't even remember a time when I ate normally. I've been overeating ever since I was a little kid, for a few different reasons. I was always pretty skinny and people would always say things like "eat a cheeseburger" or whatever as a compliment(?), and other people would tell me that I wouldn't always be that skinny because I wouldn't always have such a fast metabolism or whatever, so I just started eating as much as I physically could to "prove them wrong". At least that's what I remember. That started when I was really young, so I would constantly go through patterns of being skinny, eating a ton then getting fat, having a huge growth spurt then being really skinny again, and the cycle would repeat until I hit puberty. By that point my overeating was so bad that I thought that a 3000 calorie pizza was a normal lunch, and I was super possessive over and obsessed with food. I was basically binge eating, but at that point I didn't even notice because I just grew up eating way too much, and it's sad because I think a lot of it started out of spite. When I stopped having growth spurts to cancel out my overeating, I got to a 27.4 bmi (5'2" 150 lbs) and stayed there for a while, but I actually didn't care that I was overweight, because I had a lot of muscle and honestly didn't look as heavy as I was. I started to skip meals sometimes though, and eventually I ended up losing around 20 lbs without even trying. For whatever reason, seeing that I lost weight was my motivation to actually try losing weight, which is what I did around a year ago. I downloaded an app to count calories and did that for a while eating around 1000-1300, with some days less and some more when I was counting, but I was counting on and off again for a while. I think my goal weight was 120 lbs. I started to skip meals more frequently and eat less towards the end of spring/beginning of summer. I would have a lot of days under 700ish and it was a new goal of mine to try to eat as little as possible. Then, at some point, I decided to go vegan and stop counting calories. I did count on some days though, and I was definitely undereating. I tried really hard to limit my foods. I went on vacation at some point in the summer for a few days and that began an almost endless binge cycle for me though. I think I was around 100 lbs (which is close to underweight for my height but not quite) and still vegan when I went on the vacation. I binged the entire time though, stopped being vegan, and basically haven't stopped binging since. I spend a full 2 or 3 months eating 3000+ calories per day, and gained 20 lbs back, then since then it's slowed to closer to like 2000+ per day. During the past few weeks, I've had a few random >1000 calorie days. I haven't eaten anything today, haven't gotten my period in months, haven't stopped thinking about food in forever, and am terrifed of gaining weight on of stopping counting calories. I don't know exactly why I wrote this, but it felt good to get it all written down. Sorry if I seem absolutely insane, and sorry if you read all of this, since I know there's really no meaning.
I think I really just need someone to tell me that there is some truth to my belief that I have an eating disorder, and I guess if anyone has any advice or anything I'd appreciate that. Or just let me know if you read all of that. I guess I just want to feel valid.
[Discussion] Sometimes I eat al that I can find other times I can't eat anything
/u/jeff5432121
Created: Sat Nov 4 13:22:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7asovo/sometimes_i_eat_al_that_i_can_find_other_times_i/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I've found my new favorite safe food
/u/bokoblin-buddy
Created: Sat Nov 4 13:18:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7asnus/ive_found_my_new_favorite_safe_food/
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Fucking eggs guys. I love eggs. One egg isn't too many calories(70) and they're super high in protein. Plus, you can eat them like 10 million different ways. Soft boiled, hard boiled, scrambled, sunny side up, etc. I love eggs. Egg whites are even lower in calories too! Super filling, super yummy, and you don't even have to add salt to make it palatable. I can take that hard boiled eggs to go, literally anywhere. K love eggs guys.
[Other] Eating disorders and mental illness are Wonderful, I just love them 🖤😔😂🙃
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Sat Nov 4 13:03:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7askq0/eating_disorders_and_mental_illness_are_wonderful/
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So I don't own a scale but want to weigh in so badly. I've been so good at restricting and know I lost weight. In the summer I went to bed bath and beyond "scale shopping" to weigh myself. If I buy one I may kill myself, so right now how clothes fit and measurements are my thing. Now it's cold, how can I go "scale shopping" and not look crazy 🙃
Also I was platinum blonde, so beautifully platinum it took me 7 months to get there. I find identity in my hair for years and the ability to add fun pastels etc made me happy. in a rush of bipolar madness I dyed it dark dark brown....,why. Can we literally say black and white thinking. DSM right there lolol I hate me sooooooo much!
[Rant/Rave] What I love about the proED sub
/u/Catmom2004
Created: Sat Nov 4 12:53:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7asijo/what_i_love_about_the_proed_sub/
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I am not practicing an ED at the moment, but I did have anorexia briefly many years ago when I was in high school.
Although, I don't agree with many of the proED folks being so hard on themselves, I **do** appreciate how *honest* so many of you guys are with the struggles you are having with self esteem, relationships, etc.
Plus, I love the way so many of you are so supportive to one another in your struggles.
It does my heart good to see a little corner of kindness on the web. Hugs to all of you who are having a hard time.
<3 <3 <3
[Discussion] How long do EC stacks last?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: who knows? | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 4 12:39:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7asfd3/how_long_do_ec_stacks_last/
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Pretty much what it says in the title. How long do they last before you should take another? Since they burn off additional calories I want to make sure to maximize their effect but I don't want to take them too frequently either.
[Rant/Rave] Binge mode + gorgeous blonde model types = devastating feeling of inadequacy that just sends me into an awesome shame spiral. Anybody else? Anybody? Please.
/u/Bridget6th [5'8" | CW135 | 20.5 | UGW119 | 32F]
Created: Sat Nov 4 12:33:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7asdyu/binge_mode_gorgeous_blonde_model_types/
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So the SO is out of town until Monday and one of my bff's came into town so myself, her and our other bff all went out for a three musketeers ladies night. I love them and wouldn't miss it for the world but holy shit my friends can drink. I stick to vodka but every time I'm done I just feel like I've bombed myself into caloric oblivion between drinks and dinner. So, I'm on my way home, feeling just gungey and fat and since nobody is there I decide I'm getting binge McD's cause it's one of my all time fav binge foods.
So I pull up to McD's and the drive through is just around the block. I almost never go inside cause I'm so embarrassed by how much I order, but I just figure fuck it. Go inside, its pretty empty so I feel ok. Get in line behind a mom ordering with her kids and RIGHT as I step in line, in walk three gorgeous, tall, blonde, thin early 20's girls all done up in super cute fall outfits (most likely going to the college football game). They get behind me and I just shrivel up inside and wanna die. They start talking about what they'll order and one says "gawd, why do they put the calories on there. I don't wanna know that." Of course you don't, because you're just naturally gorgeous like every other girl I grew up with like you. The Midwest is rampant with them. It's like an Aryan race wet dream out here and then there's dark haired, big boned, big nosed, deep voiced me.
I ordered as fast and quietly as I could and the WORST part was their food was ready before mine because they all got like, ONE sandwich and disgusting binge face me got all this crap to shovel into my gaping maw. I could just feel them like, judging me, I swear. So I came home and ate everything cause I'm a gross pig and now I'm just thinking of when and what I'll go binge next. I have a whole weekend to do it, so why not. I'll never be that way no matter HOW thin I get, so why try.
[Rant/Rave] I wish I could want to be big
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 111 | GW: 105 | M/15]
Created: Sat Nov 4 12:12:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7as9ed/i_wish_i_could_want_to_be_big/
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I want to fucking go back to lifting and actively trying to eat as many calories as possible to gain weight but the idea of gaining muscle mass is just so fucking disgusting to me, I can't do it. Being this skinny has left me vulnerable too many times but it doesn't matter, I have to keep losing weight; I just want the desire to gain weight again. I wish I could just switch at will between being 90 lb 5'3 and a 6'2 220 lb grown ass man
[Rant/Rave] you know it's bad when...
/u/haricotsbear [5'0 | CW land mammal | GW 100 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 4 12:06:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7as823/you_know_its_bad_when/
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..you can't eat solid food but it's chill.
(CW teeth issues)
Hi, hello, hey. I'm 26/F and have had one kind or another of an eating disorder since I was around 12. The brief but intense bulimia from high school is what's catching up to me now in the form of shitty, rotting and fragile teeth. And what do I have to show for it? An obese BMI and a fucked up face.
So I broke a molar last week, like the entire wall of it just came off, what the actual hell. I'm having it pulled at the end of the month and eventually getting an implant put in to the tune of $5k. For one tooth. One. The rest of my bottom teeth and molars are completely ruined as well.
But I can't eat any solid foods because the dentist is afraid I'll crack more so I've got that going for me? (:
[Discussion] I’m sick and have to eat but don’t want to :( This is what I made myself
/u/Shewantstolive
Created: Sat Nov 4 12:03:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7as7hk/im_sick_and_have_to_eat_but_dont_want_to_this_is/
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https://i.redd.it/8i3m3sre00wz.jpg
[Tip] Can we create a list of really filling but low calorie foods/recipes?
/u/aceshighsays [5'2" | C: 110.2 | -27.8 | F | G: 99]
Created: Sat Nov 4 11:51:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7as4pe/can_we_create_a_list_of_really_filling_but_low/
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[removed]
[Help] [TW: suicide and gore] Decided I needed to recover, which coincided with a family breakdown. The result was a failed, messy suicide attempt. I feel so defeated, and so depressed. Sharing with this community is the only positive thing I can do right now ♥️
/u/FastPhoria [5'10 | 117.5 | 16.4 / 16.8 | UGW: 119?? | F]
Created: Sat Nov 4 11:46:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7as3ik/tw_suicide_and_gore_decided_i_needed_to_recover/
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So a few weeks ago, I had an emotional meltdown and realised that I couldn't continue to indulge my anorexia any longer; my ambitions in life are modest, but I can see clearly that anorexia has the power (and, when I had this epiphany, also had the momentum) to take all of these things from me. I don't want to lose my life to my ED - I'm sure nobody here does - so I decided to Do Recovery. Just like that. Boom! ED begone! I'm so fucking stupid.
First of all I made an appointment to see a therapist, who said that a requisite condition of continuing appointments with her would be to have a proper weigh-in and disclose my ED to my doctor. I made the appointment for the weigh-in and then just... panicked. I wanted to restrict for the week before the weigh-in, because I was scared of the numbers, but also I was Doing Recovery so I wanted to start eating above maintenance. So I did this weird alternating fast-binge thing that probably averaged out around or slightly above maintenance.
Then I made the mistake of getting on the scale after a salty meal the night before, and saw I'd put on 4lbs. Maybe I could have dealt with this, even with the impending weigh-in, but then....
.... it turns out that my dad is a sociopathic monster, who aside from having an affair (which I had already found out about) has been bullying my ten year old brother, my step-mother and my step-brother for years. My actual mother died when I was a teenager, so this is my entire family. I had to drop everything and drive over there because the proverbial was hitting the fan left, right and centre.
I have always idolised my father. People have always said how similar we are as people, and that has felt like the biggest compliment I could ever receive. Now I see that I have been deceived, by him and by myself. I have always made excuses for him, and "rounded him up" (does that make sense?). He is not a good person. He is selfish. He is a bully. This all hit me last Monday and I just felt like the world had been pulled out from under my feet. In the moment I just lost it and decided I didn't want to live anymore. So I gouged my tattoo out of my forearm (my dad and I had matching ones), and slit my wrist for good measure. It was pretty much exactly as gruesome as it sounds... retrospectively I don't know how I did it.
I am so ashamed of the decision now. I know it was just that everything converged to make the perfect storm, but for fucks sake it really was the most pathetic way of dealing with it. And I'm 100% relieved that I'm not dead, as I want to be here for my family... especially my little brother. I don't know. I don't understand what happened in my brain at that point. I guess I just feel like I've lost my illusion of identity. I am just an eating disorder, I am just my father's daughter. But I don't want to be either of those things, and it short-circuited something in my head in that moment, maybe.
I'm back home now (I don't live with my family, I'm at university 150 miles or so away from them), and I am feeling pretty empty. People here don't know what I did and I think I want to keep it that way for now. And it sounds ridiculous (*CHORUS: Because it issssss!!!*), but the main difficulty I'm having today is not knowing how or what to eat. Like I'm not gonna lie, Doing Recovery didn't go so well. My ED wants restriction. Every part of me is terrified by the fine-line of maintenance. I am just so confused and exhausted by food thoughts.
I'm sorry, this probably isn't even the place for me to pour this out, but this community has always been so kind and supportive, so understanding and so human, that it feels like the safest place to say these things "out loud". I have missed this community while I have been gone, even though it has only been a couple of weeks it feels like ages. And I hope hope hope that everybody is doing okay. Love to you all ♥️♥️♥️
[Rant/Rave] Back on my meds like
/u/mildolconf [5'9" | 134.2 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 4 11:20:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7arxnz/back_on_my_meds_like/
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https://i.redd.it/8pr0e2iqszvz.png
Tfw you love baking but hate eating.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 4 11:15:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7arwck/tfw_you_love_baking_but_hate_eating/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Exploding Everything
/u/StuDented [1.64m|CW: ?|GW: 55kg|UGW: 50kg|BMI: ?|Gender: F]
Created: Sat Nov 4 11:12:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7arvtb/exploding_everything/
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(on mobile, please flair as rant/rave)
Everything is exploding...
BOOM! I sit down and feel my hips are exploding sideways so I fill the fucking chair, spreading out like a burst dam.
BOOM! I try and exercise and I feel like my heart and lungs are exploding because I'm so fucking unfit.
BOOM! I feel good for restricting, then realise how my useless, fat, failed body is still there and my mind explodes with anger and hate towards every fucking extra inch on my carcass.
And the thing is, I just want to implode. You know in old cartoons, when the screen wraps itself up and disappears into a dot and that's a wrap? I'd very much like to wrap up in myself, into my mind, into a tiny body, and disappear.
[Rant/Rave] I wish I was Invisible
/u/loseitjen [5'8 |SW 140|CW 131|GW 115| F21]
Created: Sat Nov 4 10:53:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7arrut/i_wish_i_was_invisible/
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It's funny because I feel like I'm so so fat and look gross and unattractive which leads me to restrict and purge & then when I get attention from guys I hate it. I absolutely hate the idea that anyone is looking at me or thinking about me or judging me I just wish I could be invisible. And twice within the past month I have been sexually groped despite showing very very clear signs of not wanting to be touched/not wanting to hook up with someone and it just makes me want to restrict more? It's like. Part of me wants to be attractive and the other part wants me to be so unattractive that no one ever looks at me again or no one ever touches me again. This is the closest thing I have to turning myself invisible.
[Discussion] anybody else really want dainty hands with freakishly long fingers? I feel like no matter how much weight I lose I will have shrek hands (no shrek hate though, I love shrek)
/u/placentagumbo [5'8" | CW 135 | GW 115 | UGW ?? | 26F]
Created: Sat Nov 4 10:33:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7arnkk/anybody_else_really_want_dainty_hands_with/
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[Other] Had a bad week but I’m breaking the cycle with a fast
/u/dbk1982 [5'2" 35F |SW 214 | CW 200 | LW 140| UGW 115]
Created: Sat Nov 4 09:29:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ara57/had_a_bad_week_but_im_breaking_the_cycle_with_a/
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We had a bit of a family emergency which stressed me out and I just ate like crap. Large bowls of pasta, nachos pizza rolls...gained five pounds so now I have to shed it. Started a fast last night at midnight. I’m at my parents house and they won’t notice if I don’t eat. Aiming for 35 hrs.
[Rant/Rave] I hate the weekends
/u/Myelin16
Created: Sat Nov 4 09:12:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ar6j5/i_hate_the_weekends/
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I'm so good about restricting during the week when I'm busy working. I avoid coming home after work by going to the gym for as long as I can so that I don't just eat all evening. The weekends kill me though. I have too much time to think about eating and how my life is a mess. I need the extra sleep on the weekends to recover from the week but the rest of the day just kills me. I know I'll burn out if I get another job but I'm considering it just to distract me from food.
[Rant/Rave] In other news my scale is sentient. Or possessed.
/u/FireForSale [27F| 5'2.5" | LW: 92 | GW: 103 | CW: 187]
Created: Sat Nov 4 09:03:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ar4ou/in_other_news_my_scale_is_sentient_or_possessed/
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Okay. I might be going insane or my scale might be sentient. It could be possessed. I’m open to all possibilities here!
So hi. I have an ED. We all know that. I weigh myself a lot. That’s kind of a given.
Two mornings ago I weighed in at 182.5 lbs. I was as happy as expected. That’s six lbs lost in a a little over a week and a half. Yay.
Yesterday I weighed in at 189. The fuck? That... can’t be right. I’ve been fasting and restricting and shitting for days.
(Insert tears here.)
This morning I needed consistent numbers. I was going to get on and off the scale until I had the same numbers three times in a row.
Attempt #1: 182.5.
Attempt #2: 181.5
Attempt #3: 183
Uh oh...
Attempt #4: 189
Attempt #5: 188.5
**WHAT THE FUCK**
This demonic piece of crap is going into the garbage! Today I’m buying a smart scale, you know the super sensitive/accurate ones from GNC that can sync with your phone
But... now what do I log as my weight today?
[Discussion] It's hard to reach 1200 calories.
/u/VirideGliridae [5'3" | F29 | GW: 100lbs | UGW: 90lbs for now]
Created: Sat Nov 4 08:50:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ar224/its_hard_to_reach_1200_calories/
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I upped my intake from averaging 400-500 kcal a day recently, because I was getting sick (there's no heating in my apartment and I was constantly in pain from the cold or so sluggish I couldn't function). I've been averaging about 1,100 kcal a day for the past couple of weeks and I'm still losing weight - nowhere near as much as I'd like, about 1lb a week (and omg poop weight is a serious thing I have to remind myself not to freak out about now), but it's so hard. I feel like I'm gorging myself on huge quantities of food, but I'm not even eating at my BMR, let alone my TDEE.
I thought eating at maintenance would be like a dream, getting to eat all that delicious food, but it feels like...so much volume. The only way I can make it to over 1000 is with high calorie but low volume food like chocolate bars or peanut butter, because eating that amount of fruit and veg makes me feel so full I might explode, but obviously this isn't very healthy. I usually have my normal 400kcal dinner then some toast and peanut butter and some fruit or cheese to try and push it up a bit, but...how am I ever gonna be healthy? How do people do this? How did I used to eat 1800 kcal a day and feel normal...? I'm trying to be sensible but I feel like I'm gaining even when my clothes still get looser and my scale still shows lower numbers.
Yesterday I didn't eat til after 9pm, I'd normally have my one meal at around 6pm latest but someone convinced me to go to a fireworks show and there was no way I was gonna eat fireworks-show-food (who the fuck knows how many kcal that is) in front of a bunch of people I don't know. By the time I got home at 9.30pm I didn't even feel hungry anymore, but I DID make myself eat some vegetable curry because I couldn't feel my hands from the cold.
Am I actually sick? I was always paranoid about going back to eating large quantities and being "fat" but now it seems to be the other way around, eating large amounts is physically and mentally difficult. 1100 seems OK healthwise. My hair isn't falling out as much, I'm not so painfully cold, I don't feel so disconnected from reality, and don't get me wrong, pooping every day is magical. But actually EATING all of that is...really hard.
How can I be OK with an occasional 2500 binge day surrounded by 400 kcal "normal" days, but not OK with an average day of 1100 kcal?
I feel so alone right now. I don't even know what to do. I'm not super depressed anymore, I'm not suicidal - I haven't thought about it in months - but I don't really feel OK either. What is even wrong with me? Am I just fine and I just naturally don't have to eat much? Rhetorical questions.
I'm sure some people here can relate to trying to eat to a healthy amount. How do you deal with it? Do you think it's alright to fill the calories with stuff like PB or whatever for now? It's not nutritionally great, I know...
[Discussion] Other ED subreddits?
/u/smange719
Created: Sat Nov 4 08:44:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ar0q2/other_ed_subreddits/
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Do you guys use any other ED subs? Which ones are good/do y’all like??
[Rant/Rave] I've been binging for a week and can't stop and I don't know WHY it's happening
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 4 08:05:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aqt2r/ive_been_binging_for_a_week_and_cant_stop_and_i/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] November 4th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 4 07:34:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aqnjt/november_4th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What did you make today?
[Discussion] DAE regret their recovery? Feel like my counsellor tricked me and that I didn’t get to enjoy my goal weight
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 4 07:20:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aql7l/dae_regret_their_recovery_feel_like_my_counsellor/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] What’s a reasonable amount of time to lose 10 pounds?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 4 06:45:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aqfjd/whats_a_reasonable_amount_of_time_to_lose_10/
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[removed]
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! November 04, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Nov 4 06:11:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aqabf/stupid_questions_saturday_november_04_2017/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for November 04, 2017.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 04, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Nov 4 06:09:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aqa5j/daily_food_diary_november_04_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 04, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] I had no idea I was this little! (I’m 5ft7in) How accurate are the eight/body fat scales at a pharmacy? Anyone else use them?
/u/_Gwynplaine_
Created: Sat Nov 4 05:37:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aq5up/i_had_no_idea_i_was_this_little_im_5ft7in_how/
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https://i.redd.it/a2xn0a1k3yvz.jpg
[Discussion] Males of r/proed, what's your story?
/u/digital2939
Created: Sat Nov 4 05:12:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aq2ms/males_of_rproed_whats_your_story/
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How did this start for you? Also, what's your height SW, CW and GW??
My ED developed through rejection and depression.
SW: 180
CW: 145
GW: 125
Height: 69 inches
[Help] How do I make myself less ugly lmao
/u/tacehtelle [5"7 | 123.5 | ?? :( | idk lbs :( | Female]
Created: Sat Nov 4 02:31:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7apjpt/how_do_i_make_myself_less_ugly_lmao/
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Like I just dont know what to do abt my face lol. If any one here is like a beauty guru or something can we like kik each other my kik is tacehtelle. Its like I know I have flaws but I just dont know them (?) specifically if that makes any sense?
[Discussion] Best fasts & cleanses for weight loss?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 4 01:22:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7apc2u/best_fasts_cleanses_for_weight_loss/
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[removed]
[Other] MFP username swap?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 4 01:15:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7apb5o/mfp_username_swap/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Do ppl automatically think you're SO skinny if you don't have ass/tits, even at a regular weight?
/u/girlygirl239
Created: Fri Nov 3 22:37:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aoqmm/do_ppl_automatically_think_youre_so_skinny_if_you/
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DAE experience this?
it's so bizarre how
when u don't have ass or tits they think ur skinny af
But in reality you can be at a normal weight and bmi like 22 without having them
When my butt was flat ppl thought I was so skinny but i actually wasn't...,,,,,, I was at a normal/average weight with a flat ass. Maybe It's also because I have no hips, also 5'8
But it's like you could have weight in your stomach and thighs but once they see that your butt and boobs are small that's sooo skinny
Why do they think that OMG
The reason I'm annoyed is because yes I'm trying to lose weight but at the same time i don't want people to think (err, suspect) i have a prob if my ass gets flat again
[Help] Binging - antidepressant withdrawal?
/u/eyafrarri [5'6 | HW:160 | CW: 138 | GW: 120| LW: 127.4 | F/21]
Created: Fri Nov 3 22:30:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aopk5/binging_antidepressant_withdrawal/
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eeeyy first time posting. I've been lurking for a bit and I'm really struggling rn, I've been binging on and off for about a week and i've gained 10lbs and i'm retaining all this water and my face is puffy and gross its the worst. I can't purge, and I'm kinda thankful bc I know how addictive it is but fuckkkkkkkk I just need some motivation or something? my binging has been so much worse lately and I'm pretty sure its bc I didn't take my lexapro for about 4 days now that I think about it, has anyone experienced shit like that?
[Help] I just vomited blood
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 3 21:55:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aok4r/i_just_vomited_blood/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Weird c/s habit... DAE?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 3 21:53:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aoju5/weird_cs_habit_dae/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I just binged and I honestly feel like it's going to be my last.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 3 21:49:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aoj8p/i_just_binged_and_i_honestly_feel_like_its_going/
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[deleted]
Criteria for inpatient?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 3 21:43:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aoi8o/criteria_for_inpatient/
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[removed]
[Help] First Binge Ever... Can't Stop
/u/kvikerdragen [5'6.5" | 21F | CW 117.0 | GW 111 | HW 182]
Created: Fri Nov 3 21:09:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aocnk/first_binge_ever_cant_stop/
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In my 8 or so years of issues with food, I can honestly say I've never binged before. There have been times in my life where I would eat an obscene amount of food / calories in one sitting / day, and sometimes there would be shame associated with it, but I never considered those binges. Just eating a lot.
Today, however, I believe I can say I have experienced (Am experiencing) a binge. And oh my God is it scary.
It's like... my brain is reminding me of food, and constantly screaming at me for having not eaten enough these past months and so now I have to feed myself to make up for everything I've missed. And I can't say no.
But at the same time I'm still hungry. I've eaten 5 large meals (More in each meal than I normally eat in a whole day) and like I'm still eyeing the pork in the refrigerator for another two sandwiches.
Part of that is probably that I've also purged everything I've eaten today... Which is something I haven't done since I was 16, and was sparing even back then.
I don't know what's going on any more. I almost feel more out of control right now than pre-suicide-attempt.
Please, how do I make it stop?
[Discussion] Does anyone else really like eating?
/u/clementinecutie1
Created: Fri Nov 3 20:59:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aoay5/does_anyone_else_really_like_eating/
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This is probably the number one reason why I don't believe I have an eating disorder. I like food and eating a lot, I even look forward to it and ask my parents pretty frequently if we can go out to restaurants. I usually end up overeating and feeling pretty bad about myself and guilty but I still love food. Can anyone else relate or am I just a crazy person who made up the idea in my head that I somehow have some kind of disordered eating?
[Help] I binged sooooo much
/u/ThinningEllie [5'4 | 200 | 34.3 | 30lbs | Female]
Created: Fri Nov 3 20:45:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ao8lx/i_binged_sooooo_much/
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[removed]
Another day.
/u/SsOoDdOoNnEe
Created: Fri Nov 3 20:43:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ao894/another_day/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I feel like a poseur.
/u/serpent_BOY
Created: Fri Nov 3 20:17:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ao3jf/i_feel_like_a_poseur/
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I honestly don't think I have real problems with eating. I don't like eating, I WISH I could control myself around food. Still, I can go for weeks eating normally without caring. I delete all of my secret ed accounts and I'm fine. Then suddenly like a month later I see a picture, or hear someone mention eating disorders and I come right back. I don't get it. I binge constantly, why do I put myself through this? I could be a normal person, I know it. Somehow I got stuck in this endless cycle of eating normally, then attempting to restrict and agonizing over the fact that I can't.
Anyways hi, what's up? I'm new here I guess. I'm 16, my stats are 5'5" and 126lbs.
[Rant/Rave] I learned my pattern
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 100 | 16.84| GW 94 | F 22]
Created: Fri Nov 3 20:14:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ao2y5/i_learned_my_pattern/
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I binge when I am sad rejected and angry. I can only hold my feeling for 3 days at time. This is why I'm getting fat. I'm a toxic waste of space and every three day all he'll breaks loose. Fuck me. I'm a bag a shit that eats her feelings and whines about it. I wish I was invisible, but I only create mass.
Fitbit.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Fri Nov 3 20:12:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ao2my/fitbit/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] BURNED 600 CALS TODAY WOOOO
/u/fatalss
Created: Fri Nov 3 19:29:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7anv41/burned_600_cals_today_woooo/
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[removed]
developing a resistance to EC stacks
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 3 19:28:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7anuz1/developing_a_resistance_to_ec_stacks/
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[removed]
[Other] Honesty Time
/u/throwaway002300 [25 | 5'3" | CW 109 | BMI 19.3| GW 103| HW 160]
Created: Fri Nov 3 18:58:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7anoxa/honesty_time/
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My family, husband and close friends know about my eating disorder and personality disorder. When I attempted recovery a few years ago and was active in treatment I told them mostly everything. Life has been extremely stressful lately, which is a huge trigger for disordered eating and other things. I’ve lost a lot of weight and I’m doing things my loved ones know are red flags that I’m spiraling. My husband has mentioned he’s worried about my emotional well being. My mom has explicitly expressed concern, especially about the weight loss. A couple of weeks ago she asked me, “are you concerned about your eating disorder right now?” And I flat out lied to her, even though we’re very close and open. I want to reach out to my husband, my parents, my friends, and express how deep of a hole I’ve dug myself into. Because I am suffering, and I am somewhat concerned. But I can’t make myself. And being honest, it’s because I don’t want help right now. I need the support and expression, but I am not ready to try recovery again. I continue to scream internally and cope as best I can to function on a daily basis, and pray I get my shit together eventually.
[Discussion] Can we talk about incontinence and purging real quick? And other physical symptoms...
/u/dbt-girl
Created: Fri Nov 3 18:37:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ankxb/can_we_talk_about_incontinence_and_purging_real/
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The other day I decided to, 25 minutes before the start of my shift, purge my fucking McDonalds because *triggered.*
So I do the thing. Desperately.
Usually I purge in the shower, but since I was really pushed for time I just put two plastic liners in the garbage can and went to town.
The thing is when I actually purge while wearing clothes, I notice that I piss myself just a little. It's enough to be gross, though. I put a panty liner in and then changed underwear before going to work D: I'm probably pretty fucked up for that...
But I was wonder if this affects anyone else?
Also my therapist implied stomach ulcers come from restricting. Do they? I thought it was a side effect of purging too much. I don't think I've had one.
[Help] Would it be possible to do a 48 hour fast while working double shifts (lots of running around/carrying heavy things)?
/u/brita09234890235 [vora: brita | bmi 21.5]
Created: Fri Nov 3 18:17:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7anh1m/would_it_be_possible_to_do_a_48_hour_fast_while/
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I want to do a 48 hour fast starting tonight but I work Saturday and Sunday at a restaurant where I do a lot of running around and some heavy lifting (dishes/trays etc). I know you need electrolytes and whatnot but all I have is powerade (130 calories I think?) And multivitamins. Would just a multivitamin be enough to keep me functioning? Or if I drank a powerade throughout the day? I can't go shopping for those electrolyte drops and stuff so it would have to be with what I already have on hand.
[Discussion] Fundamental changes after ED
/u/FlabbyWhiteThighs [5'4"|117lb|22F]
Created: Fri Nov 3 18:02:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7anduq/fundamental_changes_after_ed/
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this may seem off base, but something that i noticed during my eating disorder and the aftermath – granted, i was at my very worst many years ago – is how much i changed as a person. i became so obsessed with numbers and calories and weight and the pro-ed tumblr scene that my hobbies and interests fundamentally changed.
when i was a child and in my early teens, i was so creative and curious and intelligent. i got in trouble for reading in class, reading under the covers, i filled notebook after notebook with poems and stories. i had worlds inside my head. when i turned fifteen and my ED, and perhaps social media too, took over my life, i lost all that. and then when i recovered, i no longer had my ED to define me, and the identity crisis just has had me drifting ever since. i'm lucky to even read one book a year, haven't written anything in so long, grades are subpar...i can't come up with a good idea to save my life, and aside from my personal relationships i'm not really passionate about anything. i'm stuck in nostalgia-land for the person i used to be, before (sometimes during) my disorder.
i don't know if this had to do with my ED or if that's just what happens when you grow up, and i don't think i articulated this well, but i was wondering if anyone else can relate.
[Tip] One size fits all jeans, for before and after a month long binge
/u/Ultimatedream [5'6 | 130 | 21 | -41 | 25F]
Created: Fri Nov 3 17:38:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7an93e/one_size_fits_all_jeans_for_before_and_after_a/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_phRwB5e7U&list=TLGGS4JftulXkf8wMzExMjAxNw
[Rant/Rave] I feel like a phony. A big fat phony!
/u/ThisIsGumpy [Height 5'1| CW 112| GW 100]
Created: Fri Nov 3 17:09:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7an399/i_feel_like_a_phony_a_big_fat_phony/
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I eat from 500-800 every day during the week and have my weekly "day off" on the weekend. My weekly average per day NEVER goes above 950. Yet, I feel like I am a phony.
Like I'm not sick enough? On one hand I'm all about it being a marathon, not a race (to prevent actual binge cycles that total well over 4000 a day). Yet, I feel like because I eat normally some days and the fact that NO ONE has noticed my weight loss I don't actually have an ED. I'm just some CICO freak wannabe???
All I know is that I want to be 105 by Christmas, if not below and this DOES have me on track for that. I can't trust the process or myself right now. I feel gross.
[Discussion] EC Stacks?
/u/bokoblin-buddy
Created: Fri Nov 3 16:59:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7an0od/ec_stacks/
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Can someone explain to me what an EC stack is and the set up? I've seen a ton of posts but I just don't understand what it is
[Discussion] Am I going insane?
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 63 kg | BMI: 23.4 | -20.5 kg | 21F]
Created: Fri Nov 3 16:20:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7amsg1/am_i_going_insane/
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I'm not sure if discussion is the right flair and I'm not sure if I can actually post it here because it's not really ED related but I don't think anyone else but you guys would/could understand me.
Background-info:
So, sunday I suddenly got biliary colic (for about 5 hours including vomiting) and had to be admitted into our local hospital, as you surely can imagine the pain was unspeakable and I got some dope ass painkiller. BUT on monday I didn't get anything (they forgot me) and it was fine..I was still in pain (the aftermath as you will) but it wasn't soo bad unless I moved around, until the evening where ut got a little worse again. Let's say the pain was enough to cause me trouble falling asleep. I accidentally managed to mess up my drip so that needle thingy had to be removed (no liquidy pain killer for me anymore).
And here is why I think I'm insane:
They told me that uf I was in pain I should just eing die the nurse and they'd give me some oral pain killers. Guess whose stupid ass nodded, never rang the bell and suffered in silence? That's right! Me.
I told my mom it was because I was lazy but in reality I did it because I thought I deserved to be in pain. I kind of still think that I don't deserve to be comfortable and pain free. I don't deserve to be relieved because I'm a failure. And today was the first day since sunday I woke up pain free and felt bad about it? What sane person thinks like that?
My question: can anyone relate or am I the only one?
[Other] Friends?
/u/bokoblin-buddy
Created: Fri Nov 3 15:48:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7amln2/friends/
---
[removed]
More like sleeping to distract myself from the hunger pangs
/u/PleaseLoveMeAgain [5'2 | CW: 132lbs | GW: 110lbs | F]
Created: Fri Nov 3 15:43:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7amklw/more_like_sleeping_to_distract_myself_from_the/
---
http://www.instagram.com/p/BasLod0jlQ-/
[Help] Is there any way to STOP thinking about food for just a little bit?????
/u/water_77 [🍀🌺🍀]
Created: Fri Nov 3 15:38:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7amjey/is_there_any_way_to_stop_thinking_about_food_for/
---
I can't stop thinking about food 24/7, I'm sure most feel the same. But I've had it for so long that I just want to stop thinking about it for even an hour or day. I don't care if I eat food, binge, eat normally, lose weight, gain weight, or maintain. I don't care. I just want to now think about food. Please if anyone here has recovered I'd love some advice :(
[Rant/Rave] Dental work and terrified I’ll have to eat
/u/UnforgivingLoaf
Created: Fri Nov 3 15:30:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7amhnh/dental_work_and_terrified_ill_have_to_eat/
---
Kind of a stream of conciseness so, I’m getting a root canal done and I’m lowkey freaking out that they’ll tell me I have to eat something. I already won’t be able to smoke to curb my appetite and I don’t want to have to go through all of this and then have to eat. I’ve definitely cried a couple times already today because of the pain so I don’t give too many fucks but at the same time I don’t want to have to break my fast so soon.
[Rant/Rave] Fasting, stressed, rant.
/u/graesticks
Created: Fri Nov 3 14:51:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7am910/fasting_stressed_rant/
---
*Throwaway account* I’ve been feeling super depressed and stressed lately and I only ever look forward to eating. So I decided to fast. I’m 41 hours in and still feel super depressed. I’ve been torturing myself watching food network all day. I just feel at a loss. I don’t even want to eat or even feel hungry. I want to eat but I don’t want to screw up my fast like I’ve been screwing up other things. I just want to be good at something.
[Help] Lactose intolerance and calorie absorption?
/u/cinnamonbicycle [5'2 | "recovering" | 🍑: cinnamonbicycle]
Created: Fri Nov 3 14:43:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7am7ay/lactose_intolerance_and_calorie_absorption/
---
So I've recently found out that I'm lactose intolerant, and someone told me that lactose intolerant people absorb less calories from lactose. They said they learned it in science class, but I couldn't find anything reliable online about it. Does anyone have any knowledge/experiences/thoughts on this?
[Discussion] Is anyone else paranoid that their height is wrong?
/u/jjfmish [5'6 | HW:163lbs CW:149lbs GW:120lbs | 19/F]
Created: Fri Nov 3 14:33:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7am51c/is_anyone_else_paranoid_that_their_height_is_wrong/
---
I realized that I've been saying I'm 5'6 for as long as I can remember, but I really don't know how I even figured that out. I think I just figured I must be 5'6 since I'm a little shorter than people who say they're 5'7 and a little taller than people who say they're 5'5. What if my TDEE is way lower than I thought? What if my BMI is way higher? HELP????
[Other] This body visualizer is the coolest thing I've ever seen
/u/RedxLoaf [5'7" | 158lbs | 40lbs Lost | 24F]
Created: Fri Nov 3 14:12:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7am0dt/this_body_visualizer_is_the_coolest_thing_ive/
---
http://bodyvisualizer.com/
[Discussion] Is anyone else like this?
/u/alexxxxis [5'9 | CW:132 | BMI: 19.5 | UGW: 108 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 3 14:08:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7alze8/is_anyone_else_like_this/
---
I know a lot of people's safe foods are things like fibre one bars and fruits because they like them and they don't have a lot of calories. For me it's the opposite. I can't eat things I like even if they're low cal because I feel so fat for liking food. I only eat things that I don't really like because I can't associate food with enjoyment. Does anyone else do this too?
[Other] The only benefit of a long distance relationship
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 190 lb | GW: 120 lb | 22F]
Created: Fri Nov 3 14:01:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7alxt3/the_only_benefit_of_a_long_distance_relationship/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Meal plan vs counting calories
/u/sp0ngeb0bcirclepants
Created: Fri Nov 3 13:54:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7alw4f/meal_plan_vs_counting_calories/
---
I'm really sick of counting calories and eating an extra apple and it causing a binge. I hate focusing on numbers.
I made myself a meal plan to stick to... has anyone had success with this? It's high restricting with some extra carbs on days I lift
[Rant/Rave] i’m employed, except fml
/u/hheavyhearted [5'6 | 138lbs | 22.36 | GW115 | nb]
Created: Fri Nov 3 13:41:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7alsz2/im_employed_except_fml/
---
hey everyone! i’ve been gone for a really long time now. it’s been a weird few months of binge sessions and 0 self confidence. i missed y’all, but i’m so ashamed of my weight gain so i’ve been avoiding ed spaces.
anyways, i’ve gotten a new job! at taco bell. where i get free slushies and sodas. and tacos and burritos and cinnabon bites. and 50% discount on everything.
beyond that, i get fast food almost every day (sometimes multiple times a day!) i eat around 2k calories a day. i have no control, i’m broke from spending so much, i stopped going to the gym.
but i make $2 over minimum wage. hahaha...ha.
[Rant/Rave] As of this morning, the scale says I'm 91.8 lbs. I'm convinced it's broken because I look more like 98.
/u/totallynotsarah
Created: Fri Nov 3 13:40:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7alsuz/as_of_this_morning_the_scale_says_im_918_lbs_im/
---
Every October my ED hits me hard. No idea why. But it always, always happens without fail.
Now, I weighed myself for the first time in awhile.. And it says 91.8. I'm convinced it's broken or something. If someone looked at me, they'd guess 100. And it sucks. I've waited for this for so long and now I'm just disappointed and don't bekieve it.
Has anyone ever had their scale actually lie? Is it possible? I put it in the same spot as always, even kept my clothes on, and it's saying this. Any idea?
240 vs 239.5... when you start to suspect that even the dietician has an ED.
/u/dbt-girl
Created: Fri Nov 3 13:24:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7alp0l/240_vs_2395_when_you_start_to_suspect_that_even/
---
https://i.redd.it/h31bb98v9tvz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] sort of panicking
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 3 13:16:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7almye/sort_of_panicking/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I got my whoosh!
/u/Bathoriel
Created: Fri Nov 3 12:57:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7alidx/i_got_my_whoosh/
---
I posted earlier this week that my scale hadn't moved for days and I was getting frustrated.
Eventually figured out it was because my period was due, and I've lost 1.9 kg since Saturday.
I could cry, I'm so happy.
In other news, I decided to have lunch today (a juiced grapefruit, some cucumber and celery 90c) and I've been hungry all afternoon and (*successfully*) fighting the urge to binge, when normally I fast all day until dinner and never get hungry.
[Other] The self-hatred today is making me physically sick.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 3 12:57:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aliae/the_selfhatred_today_is_making_me_physically_sick/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] is there even any point in having more
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 3 12:38:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7alds1/is_there_even_any_point_in_having_more/
---
[deleted]
[Other] one McDonald’s sprite.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 3 12:15:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7al8ad/one_mcdonalds_sprite/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] All I've done today is eat
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5'4" | 123 | 21.4 | GW: 115 | NB]
Created: Fri Nov 3 12:06:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7al68a/all_ive_done_today_is_eat/
---
[removed]
One small McDonald’s sprite.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 3 12:05:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7al60w/one_small_mcdonalds_sprite/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Triggering my boyfriend
/u/Elmiris
Created: Fri Nov 3 12:03:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7al5gh/triggering_my_boyfriend/
---
Ive had an ED for about 7 years now and about three weeks ago i decided to tell my boyfriend about it.
When i told him, he explained that he too used to have an ED but is "compleatly recovered".
I am currently on a very restricted diet and i have noticed how he has stopped eating as well, i'm really worried for him since i really don't want him to relapse because of me. Is there anything i can do to help him or should i just leave him with it?
[Rant/Rave] gaining and loosing the same 20 pounds
/u/Shewantstolive
Created: Fri Nov 3 11:50:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7al28l/gaining_and_loosing_the_same_20_pounds/
---
Up and down this stupid marry go round. I restrict and have control and then I’m triggered by someone and eat to make them think I’m okay which turns into a week of binging and pretending to be okay which turns into being back where I started over and over again. I want to make it stop. I want to have control . God fucking dam it all. So guess who’s starting a fast again? Me. Just a weekend fast today is okay , gotta keep my mind off of food . Sigh.
[Help] i’m falling off
/u/audreybelle_
Created: Fri Nov 3 11:46:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7al172/im_falling_off/
---
this whole week, i’ve been eating at 1,100 - 1,500 calories. my goal was to lose 8lbs this month and i’m not sure if that’s going to happen. this is all because of halloween, and parties, and pizza. i’m not going to weigh myself until the end of the month, because if i do it this week i KNOW it’s going to throw me off. does anyone have any tips on how i can get back on track, and stop binging? i’ve limited myself already to 3 pieces of candy a day, and then today i decided to binge on pizza. i honestly wish i could just eat like a normal person.
[Help] Where do you guys get Ephedrine for your EC stacks?
/u/miracleunicat [5'6 | CW: 110 | GW: 85]
Created: Fri Nov 3 11:14:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7akthr/where_do_you_guys_get_ephedrine_for_your_ec_stacks/
---
[Rant/Rave] Eating just makes me hungrier
/u/nyny2017 [5'7" | CW 130 | HW 144.5 | 20.4 | GW 112, lithe AF 🖤]
Created: Fri Nov 3 10:51:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aknnr/eating_just_makes_me_hungrier/
---
I wish I didn't have headaches and brain fog. I have absolutely no interest in eating food most days, and would be content to fast, if I were capable of working on no nutrients. I've tried powerade zero, magnesium/calcium, bouillon and multivitamins, along with caffiene, in the morning. I am getting enough rest. But I swear to god every afternoon I start getting a little lightheaded and can't concentrate, and it usually lets up after I have a meal.
This feels like a constant war between professional obligations and my body goals. I know I have the discipline to severely restrict but I just don't have the mental/physical capacity to think without food. I feel like the universe won't let me be functional and successful and lose weight at the same time. And don't even get me started on how badly I want to exercise.
Anyone else fighting this war? :( :( :(
[Rant/Rave] really conflicted and spiraling after hitting my ugw
/u/basedgore [5'3| CW:88lb | UGW: 90lb | M]
Created: Fri Nov 3 10:35:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7akjy6/really_conflicted_and_spiraling_after_hitting_my/
---
so uh, hi guys. i posted a little while ago about finally being 90lbs and since then things have been so rough.
when i needed to lose weight/was restricting, things were so easy, like i had motivation and was just overall more bubbly and got happy when i reached weight goals. now, after losing for over a year, i kind of have to stop for health purposes. its so hard though. i dont feel anything about my body other than disgust, but now i cant even pinpoint why. at least previously when i was overweight/obese, i KNEW why i was gross- now i cant tell.
i love feeling light and pure and empty. im fasting right now and it feels amazing- but i know im killing myself. i know im dying and im sickly thin at this point. i know i NEED FOOD. but i just cant. i cant deal with eating even though i hit my goal and i dont know why. its so fucking hard! i highkey just want to be an ana butterfly forever, lmfao. but thats not sustainable-- i will die very very quickly if i continue to heavy restrict, and i know it.
life sux
[Tip] What $40 of groceries look like
/u/lavenderbruises [5'9"|CW 110| GW 100| BMI 16| 19F]
Created: Fri Nov 3 10:35:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7akjux/what_40_of_groceries_look_like/
---
https://i.redd.it/ejedivqqfsvz.jpg
[Other] My binge eating (& drinking) has officially bankrupt me
/u/Moshi_Moshi_Teriyaki [5'9 | CW 132 | UGW 115 | -25]
Created: Fri Nov 3 10:34:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7akjol/my_binge_eating_drinking_has_officially_bankrupt/
---
For the first time, I actually can't pay my rent. It's entirely my fault: countless binges where I can't even believe how much money I've spent, and then countless bar tabs to make myself forget.
I've maxed out my cards, overdraft, and loans. I'm trying to build up the courage to ask a friend for help, but at the same time praying my landlord doesn't notice. I have another flatmate and it would affect her too.
I feel like such a piece of shit. I'm not an adult, I'm hurting others, I can't believe it's got this bad. I talked to a debt charity to help sort out my finances, and they suggested I claim bankruptcy which is so, so so scary.
Please tell me I'm not the only one that's dealing with something like this.
[Rant/Rave] How to turn yourself off to food completely
/u/deltapeach [5'2" | CW 127 | GW 105/110 | -18 | 21F]
Created: Fri Nov 3 10:32:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7akj48/how_to_turn_yourself_off_to_food_completely/
---
Just had the grossest thing happen!!!
I was eating some blackberries and when I picked one up noticed a little white thing on one so I picked it off and looked closer and IT WAS A FUCKING LARVA OF SOME KIND. I looked at the rest of the blackberries and there were larvae all over like half of them!!!!
I had already eaten 2 and now I'm nauseous even though everything looked dead lmao I'm never eating again :)
[Rant/Rave] 10 day fast to 5,000 calorie day.
/u/Biggyhefty
Created: Fri Nov 3 10:02:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7akc01/10_day_fast_to_5000_calorie_day/
---
Yesterday was the 10th day of my fast, and I decided to finally eat something. That something turned into a full on 5 hour binge, where I consumed 5,000 calories. I've been a binge eater for a while, so I can fit a lot of food, but I thought fasting was supposed to shrink your stomach. I literally undid at least 3 days progress. On top of that all I only got 3 hours of sleep because my stomach was too full to sleep. I was planning on resuming my fast today but it's only 9 AM and I've already eaten at least 3 tablespoons of peanut butter. I was doing so good, what is wrong with me ugh.
[Rant/Rave] not even noon and shit hit the fan
/u/ladywinterz
Created: Fri Nov 3 09:50:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ak8ve/not_even_noon_and_shit_hit_the_fan/
---
dude i just wolfed 800 calories (BEFORE NOON) in less than 10 min and am fighting my conscious so hard. i've been restricting hard all week and i woke up just so hungry and i cracked; i even dropped off a work meeting to go eat haha smdh. then made appoint to tell the lady in the store how hungry i was bc i'd been eating minimally for days as an excuse for my level of food intake so early bc i didnt want to feel judged or for her to think of me as a heffer. not to mention my friend is taking me out to dinner tonight for my birthday and i am just on fucking edge about that cause now wtf am i supposed to do? what are some ways you guys prevent binge epps after restricting? i am fighting every fiber of my being not to barf bc honestly i feel hella uncomfy even physically.
[Rant/Rave] is there anything better than herbal tea?
/u/applesforhungry
Created: Fri Nov 3 09:39:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ak6fy/is_there_anything_better_than_herbal_tea/
---
I'm a recent convert to tea but oh my god it's actually changed my life, I drink it when I'm hungry or craving or bored or just to give people I'm with the illusion of having taken in calories. My favourite is peppermint so far but I also love Starbucks peach green tea lemonade although it has like 130 calories or something so I can only have it as a meal replacement.
Any tea recommendations for a newbie? I prefer sweeter stuff but want to try all kinds!
[Rant/Rave] Hurray for being sick!
/u/tenderlions751
Created: Fri Nov 3 09:01:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ajxiy/hurray_for_being_sick/
---
Been having a head cold this past week and even though I feel lousy from the cold, it suppresses my appetite. It's been a whole week without a single full meal, just low cal soup and crackers. I'm just not looking forward to when the cold goes away then the hungry comes back. Anyone else go through this?
[Goal] Im gonna fucking get better this time
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | 138.3 | 18.76 | ~61lbs | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Fri Nov 3 08:53:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ajvs2/im_gonna_fucking_get_better_this_time/
---
Guys I'm so fucking tired of being sick.
I started seeing a counselor and I have an appointment with health services. Signed a waiver so they can share info and all that bullshit. I want a goddamn life. And I want to enjoy that life too- not just exist in this place of hating myself and everyone else.
I'm gonna still visit this sub because I know I can't stay away, but I'm making an active effort to feel better and try to stop giving so much of a shit about weight and food... wish me luck y'all. Love you guys.
[Help] Well, shucks...
/u/pussystrongerthangod [168cm | 121lb | 19.5 | cow | F]
Created: Fri Nov 3 08:35:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ajrtf/well_shucks/
---
I’m trying to decide what to do this evening. I’m feeling pretty miserable (in a pathetic, why am I such a loser kinda way) and I’m stuck between going to the gym like a good girl or buying two dozen krispy kremes and a bottle of wine. I know what I should do... but I just want to drink away my capacity to feel, numb myself with creamy donutss and purge till I fall asleep from exhaustion. That’s what I really want.
Any advice on how to do the right thing when it’s the last thing you want?
[Help] Constipation despite fiber? TMI poop!
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 151.5 | GW: 118 | -15.3 | F24]
Created: Fri Nov 3 07:54:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ajico/constipation_despite_fiber_tmi_poop/
---
So yeah, whenever I low restrict (600/day average), I won't poop for 3-4 days. I eat a fiber one brownie almost every day, and quest bars and fiber filled veggies a lot, but still. Nothing or not as much as there should be. Anyone know why?
[Discussion] EC Stack Tolerance?
/u/drivelikeido27
Created: Fri Nov 3 07:51:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ajht9/ec_stack_tolerance/
---
Hi everyone- quick question for those of you that do EC Stacks
I started using it in May and it worked great for a couple months, but then the effects started to wear off. I cycled off for over a month and recently started back on, but it still barely suppresses my appetite at all anymore!
Anyone else have a similar experience? Any tips or alternatives?
[Discussion] Tfw your rats eat better than you.
/u/bagelzboi [5'3 | CW:85bs | 21F]
Created: Fri Nov 3 07:19:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ajb81/tfw_your_rats_eat_better_than_you/
---
https://imgur.com/QnEuCb6
[Help] at least one thing in my life goes right when i have no money for food. does anyone have any tips to suppress the hunger though, especially at night?
/u/Blingblingx
Created: Fri Nov 3 07:16:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ajagr/at_least_one_thing_in_my_life_goes_right_when_i/
---
i cant sleep at night ;/
[Help] Two days of eating under 1000 and I’ve lost nothing.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 3 07:05:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aj88r/two_days_of_eating_under_1000_and_ive_lost_nothing/
---
[deleted]
[Help] My husband found my laxative stash...
/u/veganpoop
Created: Fri Nov 3 06:25:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aj10e/my_husband_found_my_laxative_stash/
---
I put my empty laxative boxes and bottles in a bag and hide them under my desk in our bedroom. When it gets full, I just take the bag to the trashcan outside so my husband doesn't see. He decided to go through my stuff and found my trash bag. He then confronted me about the bag. I confessed, told him what I'd been doing, how I need them to not feel icky, blah blah blah. I thought it was over.
A little while later, I hear him searching through my desk (while singing, I might add. He was doing it to cover up the noise of him going through my stuff.) I walk in to the bedroom to find him holding my stash.
Let me start off by saying, I'm not a violent person. But when I saw him holding my stuff, I exploded. I tried to get them out of his hands, I threatened to punch him. I could feel myself shaking and my eyes were wide with rage. I eventually gave up and said, "Walmart will always have them."
After I calmed down, I regretted everything I had done. I felt extremely bad because he is the best husband in the world and I know he is just trying to help me. Now I'm more embarrassed than anything. Embarrassed about how I acted. Embarrassed about my laxative abuse. Everything...
So, I guess I really just need just help/advice. Has this ever happened to anyone else? How did you feel and how did you get over it?
Anything will be appreciated. I just need to know I'm not alone.
[Discussion] November 3rd, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 3 06:13:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aiyu8/november_3rd_2017_question_of_the_day/
---
When did you last hold a baby? 👶
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! November 03, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Nov 3 06:13:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aiyow/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for November 03, 2017.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
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[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 03, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Nov 3 06:12:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aiyo4/daily_food_diary_november_03_2017/
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This is a daily food diary thread for November 03, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] some ~important information~ about mental health
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 102.9 | 18.8 | -34 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 3 05:15:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aipef/some_important_information_about_mental_health/
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**TL;DR: Disorders are complex. The DSM over simplifies it. You have a problem even if you do not meet the "official" criteria for eating disorders.**
I encourage people to read this even though its really long because psychology is interesting and as people who struggle with mental health all of this is important!!!
Recently I've been seeing a lot of misinformation about mental health disorders and what it means to have one and when you "qualify" for one, so I wanted to clear things up a little!
Just some background on me: I am a developmental clinical psychopathologist - I know, those were a lot of words I just threw at you. This means, I study mental health and how it develops over time, from when your born into adulthood and onward.
A lot of you probably know this from your own experiences, but mental health isn't static and linear; in other words, a disorder you get as a child doesn't necessarily continue into adulthood. It may appear and then entirely disappear (conduct disorder disappears for 50% of individuals as they get older), it may change (you might have a specific phobia that morphs into generalized anxiety), or it may stay the same diagnosis with different effects in daily life (autism is the best example of this, where children may struggle to understand someone else's perspective when they're younger and then as adults be more aware of perspectives but still struggle with social cues).
So - what does this mean? What does this have to do with eating disorders?
Well, let me tell you! Right now, most of the world (especially to non-psychologists) uses a little something called the DSM to understand mental health and what it means to have a disorder.
The DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) is a book that was made by lots of clinical psychologists in an attempt to categorize and track disorders. It got super popular! Why? A few reasons!
1. We as humans want to categorize things. Its just how our brains work. And it often does help us understand things because we are looking for patterns! So, initially, yeah it makes sense to try and group symptoms into categories, because then we can see what individuals get these disorders and why they got them and others didn't.
2. Researchers and medical staff can communicate more easily about disorders - with everyone using the DSM, we know we are all talking about the same thing when we say someone has depression or anxiety or an eating disorder.
3. Insurance companies love it - they have definitive definitions of what is and isn't a disorder, so they know who needs to be covered and who can be disqualified for coverage.
Ok cool! So these all seem like pretty good reasons to use the DSM. It's like diseases and physical disorders, which are also defined in this medical model.
So, what's the problem with doing this?
Well, unfortunately, we've learned from trying to use this system that it doesn't work perfectly. Or, well at all. There have been five versions of the DSM so far, and each time, things are changed. This is to be expected, we do research and learn more! But, what's weird is, we keep having to change it *drastically* because things aren't fitting.
It's like we're trying to force disorders to happen and make sense in a model where they just don't fit. The biggest problem? People can get disorders for an infinite number of reasons and people can not get disorders for an infinite number of reasons.
Two twins, with the same DNA, the same upbringing, the same experiences, can both experience a traumatic event and STILL only one of them will get a disorder. Why? Because every little experience some one has interacts with another, and aaaaall these interactions result in what we consider mental health.
That's where developmental psychopathology comes in! We're trying to understand how disorders form over time, because we can see how big a role experiences have to do with whether or not someone gets a disorder.
The DSM and medical model is based around the idea that someone gets disorders and diseases, and then these disorders cause symptoms.
What we're investigating now is a network model: people develop one symptom, which activates other symptoms, and then the symptoms reinforce each other resulting in a continued activation which we classify now as a specific disorder.
Let's think about eating disorders. I'm going to be really stereotypical here to explain it. Something happens: a girl is bullied for a weight. The bullying makes her feel **sad** so she tries to **lose weight**. People **stop bullying her**, reinforcing the idea that the weight loss was **good**. She starts to **feel anxious** about **gaining weight** again and the bullying returning, so she begins to **cut more calories**. She struggles to keep cutting calories, and begins **purging** after eating to **further control her weight**.
In this example, we see that the sadness caused by bullying, resulted in actions to lose weight, which reinforced the anxiety around gaining weight alongside the anxiety around bullying, which resulted in more extreme measures to avoid the bullying and weight gain, which caused more eating disorder behaviors.
She didn't "catch" an eating disorder, she developed symptoms that reinforced each other, resulting in what the medical community would call a disorder.
SO. Why am I explaining all of this?
I see posts about people not feeling like they have a disorder because they don't meet the requirements of the DSM. And it's sad, because these guidelines are not anything but a way of categorizing symptoms.
Mental disorders are invented by scientists to try and understand behaviors better. These rules for whether or not you have a disorder, are just rules created by scientists to define who they accept into studies in order to have the similar participants across different studies.
They do NOT ACCURATELY DEFINE who has and hasn't got a problem. If you have a symptom, or a set of symptoms, causing you distress, THIS IS VALID.
Again, just because you do not match the DSM does NOT MEAN YOU ARE NOT VALID. Do not get caught up in the rules others have invented to try and understand behavior.
JUST BECAUSE YOU DO NOT MEET DSM CRITERIA DOES NOT MEAN ANYTHING.
Literally. It means nothing other than you would not qualify for this specific study because they are looking for this set of symptoms that they are going to call anorexia.
I could say so much more, but I will leave at this because its already so long. Please ask questions if you want to learn more. But ultimately, you can define eating disorder however you want, the DSM is just one way of grouping behaviors and they keep changing it because they keep doing more research and realizing more and more the groupings don't work perfectly like they'd like to in a medical model of thinking.
TL;DR part two: you and your behaviors are a definition of eating disorder. there is more than one way of thinking about it, the medical community chooses this way, but it doesn't mean they're always right (because spoiler they're not)
[Discussion] oh how times change - it is definitely not worth suffering. you only lose yourself and you will never be satistied (my journey)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 3 04:52:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ailv3/oh_how_times_change_it_is_definitely_not_worth/
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https://i.redd.it/urth7hpjqqvz.png
[Other] Hmm.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 3 04:29:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aiiva/hmm/
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[removed]
[Help] Having problems with caffeine pills D': Help?
/u/yesyeshihello [157cm | CW: 42.4kg | BMI: 17.2 | 27F]
Created: Fri Nov 3 03:48:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aid88/having_problems_with_caffeine_pills_d_help/
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I'd love to be EC stacking but I'm pretty sure ephedrine is illegal where I live. So I got caffeine pills. Tried them 2 - 3 times in the past couple of months, and I always felt like shit, but assumed it was because of something else, heavy restricting, whatever.
So after a day of refeeding on the 1st, I gave them another shot yesterday. 400 mg. Again, I felt like I was dying: horrible dizziness, lightheaded, chest pains, the kind of things that would send me straight to the hospital if I didn't know what was causing it.
Sadly, even though I barely restricted yesterday (I felt so shit I thought I should eat just so I wouldn't pass out, ended up having two plates for dinner PLUS two desserts after eating 400 calories during the day), I woke up to my LW. And I say sadly because in my mind this means that I can't just throw the pills out - not if they're making me lose weight. No matter how shit I felt.
What should I do? Have any of you gone through anything like this?
Why are caffeine pills making me feel shit even though coffee, red bull, monster and diet coke don't?
Is there anything I can do to keep taking them and not feel like death?
[Rant/Rave] I'm really upset :(
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 3 03:18:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ai9iw/im_really_upset/
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[deleted]
[Help] Please help me!
/u/little-paws
Created: Fri Nov 3 02:52:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ai65f/please_help_me/
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Hi I'm back! I wrote a post a few weeks ago about how I didn't want to do this anymore blah blah but well hey here I am.
I have a friend coming to visit this weekend and I am really stressed.
I want to be fun, have fun with her, eat drink and be merry. I actually can't bring myself to do that so please give me all of your advice.
What excuses can I give for not eating/drinking as much?
How can I still make her feel comfortable to indulge as much as she wants if I don't?
I'm not saying that in a way like, oh I want her to eat so much more than me... The city I live in is often visited by tourists for a food and drink filled weekend, and I want her to have a great time! I just don't know how to do that without eating everything myself :(
[Rant/Rave] YES!
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 63 kg | BMI: 23.4 | -20.5 kg | 21F]
Created: Fri Nov 3 02:51:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ai5z0/yes/
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IT'S MOVING! My scale is FINALLY moving again! I'm down to 62.5kg after a month of staying on 63 or sometimes even 64! Guess who'sfeeling good enough to go and shop for a pretty dress? Right! ME!
Rave over. Hope you guys have a great surprise today too! I'll enjoy mine as long as I can.
[Discussion] Having an eating disorder is...
/u/carolineeo [5'7" | 115 | 18 | 22F]
Created: Fri Nov 3 02:40:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ai4qz/having_an_eating_disorder_is/
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Splitting your one box of Annie's white cheddar and shells into four different mugs that you keep for this SOLE PURPOSE so that you can have your one meal a day be mac & cheese (which is actually mostly peas, because obviously pasta is a bit of a trigger food) without going over 200 cals.
What's something odd you've caught yourself doing recently that only eating disordered people get?
[Rant/Rave] New LW! deadass SCREAMING with happiness 🎉
/u/babylemonadexx [5'7 👶🏼 96lbs 🍋]
Created: Fri Nov 3 02:05:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ai0kw/new_lw_deadass_screaming_with_happiness/
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Joke’s on me bc I literally made a super depressing post only the other day about how shitty ED cycles are...
But holy fuck guys, I stepped on the scales this morning for the first time in 3 weeks - 96lbs !!! This is further than I ever meant to go and I honestly feel so so happy and possibly comfortable maintaining here? AAAH, such a happy bunny this morning. Ily already November <3
[Discussion] Cigarettes and ED?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 3 00:59:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ahs3f/cigarettes_and_ed/
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[deleted]
[Help] 2-week binge cycle! Help!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 3 00:30:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aho6m/2week_binge_cycle_help/
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[deleted]
From r/1200isjerky 😂
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 2 23:46:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ahi4l/from_r1200isjerky/
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[deleted]
dealing with nausea
/u/vctrlcs
Created: Thu Nov 2 22:51:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ah9qm/dealing_with_nausea/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] "You're not anorexic."
/u/krecneps
Created: Thu Nov 2 22:38:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ah7q4/youre_not_anorexic/
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Was having a discussion with the bf about work ethic, long story short he told me my work ethic is better than his because I always do my homework, I study, and he ended it with "Plus you work out a lot." I've been pretty open with him bout my eating disorder recently, so he knows I have an unhealthy relationship with food, but I'm pretty sure that's all he thinks it is. I said "I work out because I'm anorexic." He got this confused look on his face and said "But you're not anorexic."
I feel so awful. I'm not super skinny so I can see why he said it I guess, and I told him you don't have to be super thin to be anorexic. But feeling more and more like a fake now and I don't know what to do. I know what I do to myself. But it still makes me feel awful. Like I'm not thin enough for it to even be considered that I am anorexic.
[Goal] Finally
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Thu Nov 2 22:31:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ah6m3/finally/
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I'm in bed, about to go to sleep, and it's past midnight. I think it's safe to say that today is done. And I FINALLY finished under 1200 calories. This hasn't happened in a whiiiiiiile. I need to keep fasting til 5pm. Because that is what made me able to do it, primarily. But also just focusing, but yeah. I'll probably screw up soon, but I'm happy for today :D
[Help] Hair loss???
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 2 22:15:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ah3uy/hair_loss/
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[deleted]
[Help] can't tell if i have an eating disorder or just unhealthy relationship w food
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 2 21:23:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7agudx/cant_tell_if_i_have_an_eating_disorder_or_just/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Why do periods exist?????
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW: 142 |CW: 125 |20.6 |GW 115 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 2 21:17:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7agtau/why_do_periods_exist/
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Does anyone else get super bloated on their periods??? I literally gained 4IBS in the last 3 days and I know it’s water weight because logically (even though I’ve had some Halloween candies over the past few days) I definitely haven’t eaten enough calories a day to actually gain.
I’m just freaking out because I finally got to 125 and I go on vacation in less than a week and I feel extra shitty. No amount of water or laxatives has been saving me
Like I know the gain is just bloat and water weight but uuughghhgg that number wrecked me
Purging in the Shower?
/u/lunabuggie
Created: Thu Nov 2 21:16:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7agszg/purging_in_the_shower/
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[removed]
[Discussion] what's up with /r/fasting?
/u/airbud1997 [5'8 / 114 lbs / GW 100 / BMI 19]
Created: Thu Nov 2 20:56:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7agp81/whats_up_with_rfasting/
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one of the top posts on that sub is a woman who went on a 17 day fast and lost 50 pounds!!! in 17 days!!!
how the fuck does it work? do they eat during that time or is it like... the same as our fasts
I want in on that losing 50 pounds shit, basically. can I just not eat for a couple weeks? I've done 2-3 day fasts before, but... I'm not sure if I'd die if I fasted for 17 days. not that I'd complain......... should I just try it?
[Goal] Starting my first fast tomorrow....
/u/decima205 [5'6" | SW: 150 | CW: 144 | GW: 130 | UGW: 105]
Created: Thu Nov 2 20:45:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7agnc9/starting_my_first_fast_tomorrow/
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I've restricted before but I've never fasted. We'll see how this goes.
Long story short, I'm one of the weirdos who gets a BIGGER appetite when she's sick, instead of losing appetite. So I essentially ate all the food still left in the house (ramen, hard boiled eggs, yogurt, cookies)... I don't feel proud in the least. I ate at least 3000 calories in the span of 4 hours if not more. I feel like I'm going to die.
The good thing, though, is that there is no more food in the house. So starting at midnight, I start fasting. I don't have a set end time but I want to hit 48 hours at least. We'll see how it goes.
[Help] Anyone want to do the Survivor challenge with me?
/u/ThermalAnvil [15 lbs lost]
Created: Thu Nov 2 20:41:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7agmju/anyone_want_to_do_the_survivor_challenge_with_me/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I wish I was healthy
/u/floralpeach
Created: Thu Nov 2 20:40:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7agmci/i_wish_i_was_healthy/
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I am at a healthy bmi, and honestly I like my body, or at least don't hate it. I don't know why I can't just eat normally. I restricted more than usual today and felt great and had 200 calories by dinner, but then I refused to eat what my mom made for dinner, had something else because it was lower in calories, so I would've ended up at like 500 calories, but then later I just gave up ate an entire pizza by myself. But I ended up at my maintenance calories so obviously my eating is healthy and normal and totally fine. Part of me really want to get better, before whatever it is that I have turns into something worse. But the other part of me really wants to lose 30 lbs and I don't even know why. Like I want to be underweight but I don't even care that much how I look. I wish I knew what was actually wrong with me and why I'm like this.
[Rant/Rave] How much does dealing with the holidays with an ED suck?
/u/rainbowraptor16
Created: Thu Nov 2 20:29:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7agkb8/how_much_does_dealing_with_the_holidays_with_an/
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A lot. Ugh. I bought $12 of discounted halloween candy yesterday which doesn't sound like a lot, but it is, on top of getting a pack of those sugar cookies with colored frosting on top. I kept it in my car so it wouldn't be in the house to tempt me but that didn't work, mainly because I had nothing else but some grapes to eat today. I am also an emotional eater/ eat out of boredom so that's great. I get to deal with Thanksgiving in 3 weeks and my mind is already telling me excuses of why I'm not eating. I hate the holidays. I hate myself. I hate that I've truly let myself and any motivation to be better again out the window. I haven't weighed myself in who knows how long and when I do and I don't like the numbers I actually eat more than when I do like the numbers. I haven't drank much water at all in the past month. I use to read books on weight loss and emotionally eating and stopped that. Do you know how much it sucks when your mind is just like, give up, give up all the work you did, give up everything healthy, because the effort it'll take to be better again will take too long and too much effort? Because I do. I wrote in a food journal and stopped that. Also, Seasonal Affective Disorder is just great! Am I right? At least I have no friends I can complain and vent to.
[Tip] “Fashion means never having to say you’re sorry for going to spin class four times a week”
/u/ladywinterz
Created: Thu Nov 2 20:22:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7agiws/fashion_means_never_having_to_say_youre_sorry_for/
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I remember a couple weeks ago I was ranting about how bad I wanted to be able to fit into thigh high or even knee high boots. So low and behold I went and bought a pair and much to my dismay. I couldn’t get them all the way up my leg. I’ve been a cyclist for nearly 10 years and love to run so it makes sense, cause my legs are muscly and toned. I had these boots delivered to my office so I slipped in a conference room to try them on and when they didn’t go up I felt so defeated I almost cried bc my body is going thru some awesome transformations despite trying to deal with the ED and when I’m not at my GW fully or not like these girls that can wear everything I just get sad and have mad fomo. So after a long self loathing Google binge, I read this article on Vogue and it changed my perspective entirely to the point where *gasp* I almost was proud of my body and how strong I really am and how hard I work. And more so, that some looks work and some don’t for my bod!! Just wanted to share and savor this moment as they come seldom. Oh and the link to the article is below because I’m willing to bet we all have some form of the damn boots.
[vogue link ](https://www.vogue.com/article/athletic-calves-boots-fall-fashion).
[Rant/Rave] Broke my fast and...meh
/u/ohwellolivia
Created: Thu Nov 2 20:10:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aggiq/broke_my_fast_andmeh/
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I guess this is a rant...?
My longest fast yet was 103 hours. I was planning on waiting until morning to eat, which would have been 106 hours, but I made the mistake of telling my husband that I just wasn’t hungry, instead of that I already ate. So I’m bummed that I didn’t break my fasting record, but I made it 97 hours and I just feel...meh.
I always binge and purge after a fast. I was SUPER determined not to. I ate more than I was planning on it, but nowhere near a binge. I just ate what was given to me. 35 calorie toast with 15 calorie [red pepper spread ](https://www.traderjoes.com/fearless-flyer/article/1433) (thanks Trader Joe’s), 90 calories of soup with 40 calories of croutons, and 150 calories of a skinny cow ice cream bar. Not horrible but still....meh.
At this moment, my stomach hurts from being stretched after 4 days of not eating, but not so bad that I’m on the floor crying like I usually am after a break fast. I’m not curled up in a fetal position, I’m not suicidal, I’m not feeling much at all I’m fact. Just....meh.
I guess that’s it. Hope this weekend doesn’t turn into a binge fest, and I hope I can break my fasting record next week. Thanks for reading y’all. Have a good night 😘
[Goal] [goal] I'm no longer obese. First goal achieved
/u/mynormalheart
Created: Thu Nov 2 19:32:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ag8ud/goal_im_no_longer_obese_first_goal_achieved/
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I was horrified when I stepped on the scaled and saw my highest weight ever. I've been suffering from a really bad depression this past year and gained upwards of 20lbs. And I was already overweight to start with. But now I'm happy to report I've lost almost 15 pounds and am no longer obese, even according to the new BMI scale! I haven't been this happy in a long time and this gives me so much motivation to keep going
[Rant/Rave] holy shit caffeine is the best thing
/u/seawardwaves [5'8" | cw~128 gw~115]
Created: Thu Nov 2 19:27:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ag7tp/holy_shit_caffeine_is_the_best_thing/
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i just had one of the white zero calorie monsters for the first time and omg it was so good, first time having any sort of energy drink
also more caffeine than i've ever had in one drink, and like
caffeine
it's amazing
just hit 24 on my fast of an undecided length, and god all of a sudden with the caffeine i have all this energy and like damnnnnn why didn't i try this before!!
i feel so light and hoppy and was thinking about breaking my fast but now i'm gonna keep going. gotta make up for a horrible halloween weekend!!
(ninja edit ~~ on mobile, can't flair rn sorry ✨)
[Goal] I didn't reach my goal by my deadline....and that's okay.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW: 141.4 | UGW 105 | 24/F]
Created: Thu Nov 2 19:16:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ag5lu/i_didnt_reach_my_goal_by_my_deadlineand_thats_okay/
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Tomorrow is my 25th birthday. Not a big fan of birthdays except as a reason to start fresh and leave bad habits behind.
I really wanted to be in the 130s for my birthday. I didn't make it. I'm very close. I could have b/p-ed, fasted, then exercise my way in the 130s today. It's not fun, but I could have done it.
Instead, I enjoyed a gloomy, chilly day with my cats and virtually no responsibilities. I had the house to myself and didn't leave except to get the mail. I didn't even change out of my pajamas. I tidied up, did some yard work, and listened to my audiobook.
Right now, my plan is to shower, do a face mask, and read a bit.
----
EDs are odd. Sometimes you can seemingly put them on hold. Tomorrow my family will want to eat to celebrate and I won't want to. I also have a trip in a few days where I'll be forced to eat every single meal. Am I stressed about? Sure, but I'm not letting it get to me today.
I still have 2 months until the end of the year. And even then, I can keep going. I may not have reached my goal today, but I will still be happy when I do reach it.
[Discussion] Palate Change Based on Calories?
/u/kvikerdragen [5'6.5" | 21F | CW 117.0 | GW 111 | HW 182]
Created: Thu Nov 2 19:05:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ag3dt/palate_change_based_on_calories/
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So fun fact about me: I'm allergic to tomatoes. It's mild, but they screw up my stomach--especially if it's been a while since I've eaten them.
So when I found this out in high-school, whenever my family had anything Italian, I was given alfredo sauce instead of tomato/pizza sauce. As a result, I grew to hate it.
Thank God I discovered pesto.
Anyway, minor aside over, I still carry that strong dislike of alfredo sauce. However, I cook food that my family requests, so there are time when I cook (and thus, eat) alfredo sauce.
Today I went into it expecting to set aside some chicken and eat it on my salad (Bonus points for easily getting around the calories in the pasta). I ended up looking at the nutrition label on the sauce jar (I strongly prefer to homemake things and eat as little processed food as possible, but I'm not inclined to spend time making something I fully intend to not eat anyway) and read that (According to the label at least) it's only 50cal / serving (1/4cup).
My mind was blown. I would have thought for sure it would be significantly more than that.
Anyway, throughout the rest of the cooking I caught myself tasting the sauce several times, and legitimately enjoying it.
My question, then, is has anyone else noticed that suddenly they like a food they used to aggressively dislike, solely based on calories?
[Help] Still haven't had my period even though I'm on the pill?
/u/uncommonlyaverage [5'3" | CW 115 | GW 95 | BMI 20.4 |18 F]
Created: Thu Nov 2 18:59:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ag243/still_havent_had_my_period_even_though_im_on_the/
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I lost my period for 6 months after not being on on the pill probably because of restriction and purging, but I got back on it last month and had my period, but I was supposed to start over two days ago and still haven't. Has anyone else experienced this? I am high restricting and exercising, but no more than last month. Also I haven't been sexually active, so there's no way I'm pregnant. (Can't flair I'm on mobile, so please flair as help or discussion thanks)
[Rant/Rave] Literally the only thing my family has is junk food or processed.
/u/tarantulahospital [5'7 | -40lb | F]
Created: Thu Nov 2 17:34:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7afjrg/literally_the_only_thing_my_family_has_is_junk/
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Can a mod flair this Rant/Rave? I can’t flair it on mobile right now.
All my life we’ve had a lot of junk food in the house.
My secret binge eating started because of it.
Whole bags of chips.
Anyway. I’m 15. So I don’t have any control over groceries, which sucks. My family doesn’t buy... actual. Food. We end up getting fast food all the time which normally would be heaven but it’s taking a toll on my health. My doctors tell me to eat cleaner and my mother keeps feeding into them the idea that it’s all my choice.
When I ask for them not to get me anything on our... 3rd fast food run and it’s only Thursday they get pissed and get me stuff anyway.
My stomach is dying from having only junk food to eat. I’m struggling to lose even 10 pounds because of it. I’m ashamed to say but I’m 183 pounds at 5”7. My boyfriend doesn’t seem to care. We weigh the same anyway... but god it sucks to be stuck being. Huge. I don’t know how to eat healthy or normal foods... I desperately need help.
[Rant/Rave] My roommate who has an ED history is trying to be purposefully triggering? Why???
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 2 17:28:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7afild/my_roommate_who_has_an_ed_history_is_trying_to_be/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I’m having a really bad time right now, and I have nobody to talk to.
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Thu Nov 2 17:20:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7afgsh/im_having_a_really_bad_time_right_now_and_i_have/
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Sorry in advance because I just need to say things, and it isn’t going to be organized or make sense.
It’s the 6th anniversary of my dad’s death this Wednesday. It’s always hard, and this year, it feels harder than usual.
I was supposed to go out with friends tonight. I canceled plans to have dinner with my aunt and her church group just so I could meet them for happy hour. Then one friend went out of town without saying anything. And the other said she took a nap instead of going out, but she has snaps of her out without me. I figured she went without me, but it still hurts. Now I’m just sitting here alone in pajamas, crying and trying not to binge. Feels great.
I’m not doing as well in school as I wanted to be. One of my instructors has been really hard on me, and I’m having a hard time dealing with it. I’m trying so hard, putting in like 80 hours a week studying and going to class, and my grades are good, but I still never get any feedback that isn’t about something I did wrong.
I’ve only lost 1.4 pounds this week, and less than 5 pounds all last month. I’m trying so hard but nothing is working the way I want it to. I was supposed to reach my ugw by Christmas, but I’ll be lucky if I can reach it by *next* Christmas now. I hate my hideous fucking body.
I just want to be dead, tbh, but I’d just fuck that up, too.
[Discussion] Anyone here dealing with selective eating disorder? (i think it’s ARFID now or something) I swear I’m the only ‘picky eater’ aged 19
/u/throwawaytheworst
Created: Thu Nov 2 17:20:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7afgrm/anyone_here_dealing_with_selective_eating/
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Everyone is convinced I’ve got a restricting problem, when actually I just *can’t* eat most foods. All the foods I’m ‘allowed’ to eat are absolute crap and calorie bombs and I’m sick of it. I CAN’T EAT ANY VEGETABLES!! AT ALL!!!!! I have the same 5 foods every-fucking-day it’s so goddamn boring.
I can’t physically make myself eat any food that I haven’t eaten before and know I like: my actual problem that’s driving me completely insane.
I “don’t eat much” and “am obsessively controlling about food”: product of the fact people try to push food I *cannot* eat on me and then get surprised when I snap. I WANT IT. I CAN’T MAKE MYSELF EAT IT. FUCK OFF OUT MY FACE.
Whhhhy does no one see this as a problem??? Is anyone else like this??? What the hell am I supposed to do about it???
[Rant/Rave] i just need to get stuff off my chest
/u/fairxily
Created: Thu Nov 2 16:12:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7af13d/i_just_need_to_get_stuff_off_my_chest/
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i can’t talk about or be honest about my eating disorder with anyone
i feel guilty not telling my therapist
i feel guilty whenever it worries my parents
and i went on a stint of normal eating but things have gotten so messy
my best friend and the girl i’m in actual, total, real love with is progressing faster in life than me
she’s lost weight and has so many friends and is always busy
and i think, like. no wonder she doesn’t feel the same when i’m so ugly
and it’s one of the biggest thing that drives me to restrict
and i knew if she knew that it would wreck her and us
we live a couple states away and i’m seeing a concert with her in 20 days
<300 calories + skinny vanilla latte with almond milk a day until then
i’m trying to stop smoking so much weed so i won’t have munchies
but that means i’m smoking cigarettes again
and i’ll have to quit AGAIN
[Rant/Rave] i replaced cigarettes with food
/u/peachybummer
Created: Thu Nov 2 15:59:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aexwx/i_replaced_cigarettes_with_food/
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i swapped one addiction for the other. i’ve never had a good relationship with food (addictive personality), but ever since i quit smoking at the beginning of the year, my binges have gotten way worse. i only smoked for a year and a half, but since i picked up the habit from stress it was hard to quit. now i am desperately trying to not to start again and stay clean (officially quit in february, had 1/2 cig relapse in april) but at this point im not sure what damage is worse (for my body and my wallet.) the sad part is that right now im not even stressed as i was back when i did smoke and i still want to stuff my face until i can’t walk.
healthy coping skills !!!
[Rant/Rave] recovery / oops
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 2 15:30:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aeqyi/recovery_oops/
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[deleted]
[Goal] HIT FIRST WEIGHT LOSS GOAL
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Thu Nov 2 15:22:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aep53/hit_first_weight_loss_goal/
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I've been jumping between 79kg, 80kg and 81kg for like months, but for this entire week I've been jumping between 78kg and 79kg. I've finally broken through and am no longer 80kg!
78kg is my first goal. 75kg is the next - I'm coming for you!
I plateaued for a long time and all it took was for me to start eating 1500 cal per day and the weight started to decrease again. Keep at it. CICO works 🙂
[Rant/Rave] I'm crying.
/u/Throwaway3344511
Created: Thu Nov 2 15:11:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aemja/im_crying/
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On mobile, can't flair.
So... I found a picture from this summer, when I was at my lowest weight (46 kg/102 lbs). At the time I thought I was still fat, but now I realize I was actually *skinny*. But I ruined everything, as usual. I binged for two months straight and now I'm at 59 kg/130 lbs. I know some of it it's probably water weight but still. I'm so mad at myself. I want to die or at least hide from the world until I lose all this weight.
Guess who's fasting? 🙃
[Rant/Rave] "Compliments" from boyfriend... :(
/u/snow-faerie
Created: Thu Nov 2 15:00:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aek07/compliments_from_boyfriend/
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We have a language barrier... but today he told me he loves how "big and thick" my legs are. This is literally the exact opposite of how I'd EVER want my legs described - I'm in ballet, I dance and thick muscles are not exactly desirable in the female form. I don't have an ED but I was orthorexic as a teen and it just made me suddenly go into "all food is dirty" mode and feel nauseous about wanting to eat. :( It just reminded me of how he once excitedly described a singer to me as "sooooo tiny" and went on to show with his hands how small this girl with the big voice was. I feel mortified and on the verge of crying.
[Rant/Rave] Photo made me want to kill myself
/u/50shadesofskinny [5'4 | 135lbs | -50lbs | 23F]
Created: Thu Nov 2 14:50:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aehjc/photo_made_me_want_to_kill_myself/
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My coworker took a fun photo of me today holding something he got me. He just sent it to me and I literally had no other reaction except “I am so fucking fat and disgusting and I want to kill myself” and now I just want to fast for a week. I hate photos. I wish I never knew what I looked like.
[Rant/Rave] A new low
/u/cokezeroshill [5'7.5"| 19.14 | GW 99lbs]
Created: Thu Nov 2 14:18:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ae9i1/a_new_low/
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[removed]
[Other] Teen Vogue ceases printing
/u/eggshellss [5'4"| :( | :( | -25 | 24F]
Created: Thu Nov 2 14:14:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ae8i6/teen_vogue_ceases_printing/
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Heard today that Teen Vogue is gonna continue on online, but cease printing of magazine. Feeling a twinge of nostalgia as someone 10+ years into body image issues, I'm all in my feelings because I used to spend hours making collages of models out of my Teen Vogue print subscriptions. Wondering if anyone else around my age feels the same way about this news. Those collages were my pride and joy when I was 12 lol but so were the livejournal proana sites that have also died....
[Help] I don't want to recover
/u/somebodymakemethin
Created: Thu Nov 2 14:13:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ae89i/i_dont_want_to_recover/
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Hello,
As you may have understood from the title, I'm currently going to a daily family recovery therapy. I've only just started going there but my problem is that I don't want to recover at all.
There were two other girls there around my age who were much skinnier and who looked much better than I did, they ate a whole lot less than I did and it makes me feel as if I don't have a problem.
So to get to it, I don't want to gain any weight, I don't actually want to be there and I don't feel like I deserve it at all. All I wish for is to be able to keep on losing weight and becoming as thin and gracious as they are.
Does anyone have any tips on how to "fake" a recovery or at the very least not gain anything from it.
Any help is appreciated!
[Rant/Rave] I gained a lot of weight, but now I’m down 38lbs, and still don’t feel like myself :/ I’m going to lose 42 more
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 2 13:57:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ae47w/i_gained_a_lot_of_weight_but_now_im_down_38lbs/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] gained
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 2 13:37:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7adz8w/gained/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Chibiham and FatPeopleStories
/u/happychanges [5'11.5"| C: 165 | 22.28 | -26 |]
Created: Thu Nov 2 13:29:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7adxa2/chibiham_and_fatpeoplestories/
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I just wanted to make sure everyone knows about the Chibiham series. It's a great read! FatPeopleStories in general is a gold mine for motivational material. :)
[You can find all the threads here](https://www.reddit.com/user/PaprikaGirl) and Paprika is writing more new material now I believe.
[Help] What is the difference between binging and eating normally?
/u/water_77 [🍀🌺🍀]
Created: Thu Nov 2 13:25:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7adwa3/what_is_the_difference_between_binging_and_eating/
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So I'm reading Brain Over Binge currently and the main idea she keeps saying is to distinguish between your thoughts (the thoughts and feelings for recovery and not binging) and the animal brain (the disordered binge thoughts and feelings), and then to ignore the animal brain. But I dont know the difference between binge and non binge foods/eating. Like I always feel the same after eating food, slightly guilty, even if I eat like an apple.
I used to restrict but then I wanted to recover. But I did it wrong, so it turned into binging. I used to not eat the whole day then go home and eat my daily tdee in like half an hour. And ever since then I cannot differentiate between the two types of people.
I posted this in r/bingeeatingdisorder but they can't seem to help and suggested this sub. Thanks.
[Thinspo] Aubrey Plaza...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 2 13:11:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7adsr6/aubrey_plaza/
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https://i.redd.it/iytvdasr2mvz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] [Rant/Rave] Was feeling masochistic. Went to Aeropostale and tried on jeans. I am a heifer!
/u/Gungnir5 [5'5" | CW130 | GW110 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 2 12:52:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ado0s/rantrave_was_feeling_masochistic_went_to/
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Aero is a teen retailer, at least it is to me. I went up to a salesgirl, and asked her to size me. She chose sz8, and sz6 skinny jeans for me to try. Objectively speaking, the size is merely a number, but having lost over 34lbs, I wanted to be smaller.
I was wearing my Old Navy sz10 skinny khakis which I had cinched w a belt to keep them from falling off my body. So, I took them off to try on these "jeggings". I am built like an inverted triangle: broad shoulders, FF cup breasts, jelly belly, no bum, hips, or thighs. The pants accentuated all of my negative points! My jiggly belly, non-ass, and chicken legs. I got both pairs of pants onto my body, but couldn't say that I looked any better than I did at 164lbs, or as a sz10 at 140lbs. I probably needed a sz4, but making my lower half look even smaller compared to my upper body held little appeal. My masochism only extends so far!
My goal weight is 110lbs. I am currently 127.8lbs in the morning, closer to 130lbs in the evening. It took a year, nice and slow, doing it right etc.
-BUT-
What if after all that work, and reaching 110lbs I still look the same? I've been turned away at the blood bank before bc I didn't weigh enough; I believe the cutoff is 113lbs. And yet, I still felt like a blob, an unattractive, unwanted, useless, lazy, waste of oxygen.
Should I just despair? Because controlling my weight doesn't really matter. It doesn't make me more intelligent, vivacious, attractive etc.
130lbs is supposed to be healthy--mission accomplished. All I see is fat, random acne, genetically thin hair...a person who will never be happy, or good enough. I am a failure.
[Rant/Rave] The most infuriating thing at work...
/u/quartz222 [♡ 5'7 | 144.6 | -5.4 | GW 118 | 19F ♡]
Created: Thu Nov 2 12:47:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7admpi/the_most_infuriating_thing_at_work/
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I work as a barista at a huge coffee chain, the one known for donuts. Last night my coworker (who’s kind of overweight, not super relevant but kinda) made a large iced latte and then says, “Oh, that was supposed to be with skim milk. But I don’t care.” And she put it out on the counter. I said sheepishly, “Maybe someone is watching their calories.” She leaned past the counter to look out at all the people waiting for drinks and said “No one out there is fat. It’s fine.”
OMFG I was so infuriated... That’s an extra 100 calories someone completely didn’t know about and even though that’s not a huge amount it was more her attitude about it. That she was too lazy to remake the drink the right way and decided since none of them were fat she didn’t have to bother? UGH !
[Discussion] What caused your first purge, and how did you feel afterwards?
/u/redtopiary [5'2 | 16.9 | 21F]
Created: Thu Nov 2 12:44:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7adlvt/what_caused_your_first_purge_and_how_did_you_feel/
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I've never been able to make myself do it, but I'm honestly glad because I feel like I would get addicted to it. What made you decide to do it the first time? Did it happen early on in your ED or later down the road?
[Rant/Rave] My mum confronted me
/u/scoutthlostgil
Created: Thu Nov 2 12:36:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7adjwh/my_mum_confronted_me/
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I had a good day. Refused chocolate when it was offered to me, smoked some pot when I got home from uni but didn’t give in to the munchies.
I was cooking an early dinner (one that I actually consider big/high calorie) and my mum started having a go at me saying it was too small a meal. She said I’m starving myself and she’s worried about me cuz I’m losing too much weigh and getting too thin. Obviously I lied to her saying I wasn’t going to lose anymore weigh even though I’m planing on losing at least another 8kg.
Something similar happened yesterday when Mum asked what if eaten that day. Normally I lie to her saying I’d had a big lunch when normally I skip it or just have an apple. But yesterday I told her the truth (cuz I thought I’d eaten a lot) and she freaked out saying it wasn’t nearly enough.
I eat around 1,000 calories a day which I really don’t think is that little and I don’t normally even get that hungry. But on the one hand it is kinda nice that I’ve lost enough weight for her to be worried about me. Idk it was a very unpleasant interaction, I’m sure a lot of you can relate.
[Other] Yoooo 60 cal/1 c pumpkin soup & 50 cal Miso. Delish.
/u/mildolconf [5'9" | 134.2 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 2 12:33:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7adj78/yoooo_60_cal1_c_pumpkin_soup_50_cal_miso_delish/
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https://i.redd.it/ru259thyvlvz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] This annoying skinny friend is visiting me...and am I evil?
/u/diet247x [5'3 | CW 132 | HW 155 | GW 125 | UGW 107 | F | 26]
Created: Thu Nov 2 12:25:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7adh1m/this_annoying_skinny_friend_is_visiting_meand_am/
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She is coming over in an hour and she literally ALWAYS makes comments about my weight. And she'll say things like "oh i'm soooo fat" and then share that she lost 15 lbs in the same conversation and be super proud of how thin she is. It feels really malicious and she's either super dense or wants to hurt my feelings.
Whenever we go out, she orders a TON of food and then makes us share, and basically tries to make me eat as much as possible. We once went out for sushi because she was "starving" and she ordered one cucumber roll and pressured me into eating three salmon rolls. Kept saying "oh whyyy aren't you eating??"
So this morning, I went out and bought this huge delicious cookies from a local bakery..... but I have Celiacs so there is no way I can eat any of them. Is this bitchy of me?
[Rant/Rave] Weighed myself for the first time in months.
/u/LiamNeesonsMegaCock [5'4'' | CW: 145 lbs | 25.38 | GW: 105 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Nov 2 11:58:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ada5o/weighed_myself_for_the_first_time_in_months/
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I’ve been on a serious 6 month binge cycle, drinking a lot to cope, but I just had a scale purchased for me (not super maliciously, a well meaning friend who saw it on Amazon wishlist and I had mentioned I feel the worst physically I have ever felt). So it showed up and of course I weighed myself and of course I’m 15 lbs higher than my previous all time high and now I’m technically at an overweight BMI.
And I know what’s going to happen next, because it’s played out multiple times now. I’m going to obsess on the number multiple times per day and throw out all my food and restrict and still feel like shit in a totally different way. And everyone will tell me in about 30 lbs how good I look and I’ll slow down because how dare anyone *notice* the yo-yo of my body. And I’ll get down to the point when people just start to worry and I’m close to underweight and then I’ll throw out the scale and eat myself up for six months or longer and forget about exercise or vegetables because fuck everyone.
I know something exists between the binge and restrict, but it’s like a fucking unicorn. It doesn’t help that at no point between over and underweight do I feel okay with my body or normal. It’s like I go up and down until I become noticeable, then the switch flips back around.
I know I should put the scale back in the box and return it for shopping credit, but I know I won’t.
[Discussion] What positive/negative things have you done recently?
/u/RedxLoaf [5'7" | 158lbs | 40lbs Lost | 24F]
Created: Thu Nov 2 11:48:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ad7t3/what_positivenegative_things_have_you_done/
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I remember reading a post on here a bit ago about a girl who's therapist asked her what positive things she's been doing for herself. The girl couldn't recall much, and later made the connection between her running herself to the ground (with work, school, stress, etc) and her purging/binging.
I wanted to make a similar post, but instead ask all of you lovelies what positive efforts you've made recently? Also, if there's anything negative you want to unload, please do!
I'll start. Here are my positives:
**Mental**: I scheduled an appointment for a new psychiatrist. This one is 5 mins away from my apartment and would mean no more stress when getting my vyvance refilled once a month.
**Physical**: I'm started a daily multivitamin, a daily fiber supplement, and soylent this month. This is the first time I've put in the effort to restrict in a healthy way. I want to start walking again this month!
**Social**: My inner circle is excellent. I feel very blessed to have my partner in my life.
Negatives:
**Mental**: I feel the urge to sabotage growing as I enter into this soylent challenge... I had to be convinced by my SO not to immediately fail by eating popcorn. Still trying to understand why I cannot let myself succeed.
**Physical**: I really need to get my glasses prescriptions looked at. I can't really see when I drive very well anymore...
**Social**: I'm still having problems at work with certain coworkers. :/
Let me hear yours!
[Help] a very long rant about what might have been the worst psychiatrist appointment ever
/u/diedawhileago [5'5 1/2 | 93.4 | 15.3 | -136.6 lbs! | 18f]
Created: Thu Nov 2 11:47:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ad7m2/a_very_long_rant_about_what_might_have_been_the/
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BUCKLE UP KIDS CUZ BOY HOWDY DO I HAVE A STORY FOR YOU
Okay so a couple hours ago I had my last appointment with my psychiatrist (she's moving out of state) and basically the first words out of her mouth were-
"You're EXTREMELY thin. I'm very worried about you."
yiiiiiiiiiiiikes
She went on to tell us- my stupid ass had let my mom sit in on my appointment, wtf past me -that she and my therapist had been discussing an eating disorder clinic as a possible next step for me.
**WHAT.**
This is literally the first time either of them have even said the phrase 'eating disorder', how in the fresh hell have we jumped straight to a goddamn clinic??????????????
Then she started asking questions about my eating habits and stuff
"Are you even eating over 1000 calories?"
lol no
"Oh yes, definitely!"
To my credit I've been trying- failing miserably, but trying. Probably averaging 350-400 at the moment. Oops.
I stayed calm though. Very calm. I answered everything, I didn't tear up, my voice didn't even waver. I joked and smiled and used whatever tiny iota of charisma I have. I talked about how I actually hadn't lost any weight lately, had stopped counting calories, wasn't trying to lose, and actually ate garbage most of the time, etc etc. I think it might have worked a little? Not sure.
Anyway she kept stressing how worried she was, how I'm "VERY" thin, "ANOREXIC" thin, "BONEY" even, and should definitely gain weight.
Haha.
No thank you.
She and my therapist had also discussed intensive outpatient treatment.
No thank you x10
She said that she was seriously considering inpatient hospitalization as well.
NO THANK YOU X100000
When she mentioned setting up an appointment with a nutritionist I agreed IMMEDIATELY in a desperate attempt to ease her concern a little, so I guess that's happening. Yay.
BUT THAT CLINIC. NO. FUCKING NO. NOT AN OPTION.
Thank CHRIST I turned 18 last week, that makes this all marginally better.
If anyone has advice I would be so, so grateful for anything you can give me. Wtf even is an eating disorder clinic??? Or intensive outpatient????? Help please, I'm dumb and very irrational at the moment.
Tomorrow I have an appointment with my therapist (it had been booked a couple weeks ago so it's not in reaction to what happened today, thankfully), and I can't say I'm looking forward to it. It feels like everything has been randomly sprung on me all of a sudden. Ugh ugh ugh and I was supposed to eat a fiber 1 bar like 2 hours ago but my appetite is totally gone and I just don't see the point
why did this happennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
[Rant/Rave] My sister was approached by a model scout
/u/itscirclejerky [5'6 | CW: repulsive| 20ish ? | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 2 11:45:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ad75w/my_sister_was_approached_by_a_model_scout/
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My sister is 28, 5'4 on a good day and kinda crazy.
I'm 5'6, one point higher than her on the BMI scale and filled with envy.
She was out to buy fava beans for dinner and was stopped in the street by someone (presumably a scout) who told her she was so beautiful that they had to see her the next day.
She doesn't even try; she's always been naturally small despite her giant portions, excelled in school through working hard and despite being forced to drop out of med school, still lives a good life with her son.
She once didn't eat for 3 days because she was too busy and stressed. I fasted for barely 4 days to 'reset' a binge then spent the next week binging my socks off and wishing I was dead.
My mum was saying if she put in her nice weave and got rid of her stretch marks she'd be beautiful.
My mum tells me to stop eating so much and once told me (whilst half turned around and posing for a picture) that without the one roll the picture would be perfect.
[Rant/Rave] Doctor visit today...
/u/queerlullaby [5'5" | CW: 138 | BMI: 23.0 | GW: 120 | M]
Created: Thu Nov 2 11:43:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ad6kl/doctor_visit_today/
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...and I have two fears.
In afraid they'll weigh me and I'll weigh the same or more than I did before. I can't fucking cope with that. I've eaten a 500 or more deficit for the last two weeks.
But I'm also afraid that I'll weigh so much less that they'll be able to tell I'm not as recovered as I said I was at our last meeting three months ago.
Edit: please flair as rant/rave, I'm on mobile.
[Discussion] Looking Like a Creep
/u/doses_and_neuroses
Created: Thu Nov 2 11:33:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ad46l/looking_like_a_creep/
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DAE look hugely creepy because they want to see how their body compares to someone else's?? Like if I see a girl with a kinda similar body or one I envy I always have the urge to stare but not in a sexual way at all. I just want to see 1. What they look like if they seem similar and 2. How their body is better than mine. But I'm pretty sure I look like I'm just checking people out oops
I'm not gay but I'm sure I've given off some vibes because of this stupid habit lmao
[Discussion] Binging makes my skin sore?
/u/TSputnik [5'3" | CW 131 | HW 210 | UGW 100]
Created: Thu Nov 2 11:13:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aczbb/binging_makes_my_skin_sore/
---
DAE get this? Essentially, If I binge badly enough one day, I wake up the next morning with skin that is painful to touch, it kinda feels like I'm bruised. It happens on my stomach mostly, but if I binge really bad it spreads to my ribs, back, back of neck, and upper arms.
I'm still not 100% certain what the triggers are, but it seems most likely when I binge on a lot of sugar. I've googled a ton and found people hypothesizing that it's something to do with water retention, but no solid answers.
When I was 200+lbs, my constant overeating and occasional binging didn't cause anything like this. It only started happening over the last year or so. It seems like it came up around the time I first started restricting lower between binging. Hope I didn't break my body >:C
P.S: If you have this problem, what do you do to get rid of the feeling quicker? I'm currently affected from eating tons of candy yesterday and I just want to feel normal again.
[Discussion] Is anyone else not compulsive in their ED?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: who knows? | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 2 10:50:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7actc0/is_anyone_else_not_compulsive_in_their_ed/
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Or am I a fraud? My ED basically consists of two things: 1) my body makes me disgusted and 2) I must eat less than my TDEE. Beyond that, some days it's 1300 calories, some 0 eaten plus 1000 calories burned doing additional exercise. Sometimes no carbs, sometimes only carbs. Sometimes only junk food, other times only "clean" food. But I never develop any compulsive habits around food. Wondering if anyone else shares this experience?
[Discussion] How do you feel about people who claim to have a "fast metabolism"?
/u/NIN_88 [5'3 | CW: 128 | 23 | GW:89 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 2 10:45:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7acs6m/how_do_you_feel_about_people_who_claim_to_have_a/
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[Intro] Intro
/u/valentineviolette [5'1 | 154lbs | -14lbs | F]
Created: Thu Nov 2 10:32:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7acoze/intro/
---
Hi everyone! I've been lurking this sub for ages, and wanted to join the Discord server but I saw you need to be active, so here I am!
I've had binge eating issues for essentially my entire adult life. We ate a lot of carbs in my family and my parents were both overweight, so I was never instilled with good habits around food. I think over time, and especially after I moved out, mild overeating just kept ramping up into a full on food addiction. The only way I can ever end up losing weight is by going to the extreme opposite end, and not giving myself a single inch of leeway, either through restriction or diets like keto.
I'm getting close to 30 and I desperately want to break my food addiction and lose a bunch of weight before I start to get older and my metabolism actually slows down for real. It feels like being in North America, my weight just seems normal, and I do carry my weight pretty well (basically entirely on my butt and thighs). I've never ever ever had anybody but myself rag on me for what I eat, or give me any form of tough love around food. It feels so so hard to break out of addictive behavior around food when literally not a single person has ever acted like they even notice, or think that there's anything abnormal going on.
When I'm trying to lose weight, I end up looking at tons of Tumblr thinspo and stuff like that, and getting into pretty extreme thought patterns. I really just want to get to a normal weight range, and develop a normal relationship with food. But I've also been telling myself that for years, so like, we'll see if it actually happens.
So anyways, there's a bunch of my secrets that I never tell my real life friends! Hello!
[edit] I guess I didn't state this explicitly but in case it's not obvious, I binge like it's going out of style.
When you plan out your binges for the week to come.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 2 10:27:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7acnrk/when_you_plan_out_your_binges_for_the_week_to_come/
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https://i.imgur.com/TfTwsTd.jpg
[Other] My feeder boyfriend nearly tried to kill me, and until this day I don't feel like I'll ever be normal in my own body.
/u/sororityasian [5'4" | -5lbs | GW: 110lbs]
Created: Thu Nov 2 10:07:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aciny/my_feeder_boyfriend_nearly_tried_to_kill_me_and/
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Trigger Warning, NSFW, long
This is really embarrassing, and I really never admitted this to anyone.
I honestly felt like I was going to marry him as soon as I graduated. He got into Yale Law, and my parents were so enthusiastic. His mom liked me, always bragged to him how smart his girlfriend was. It felt like the most ideal relationship. It felt like we complimented each other very well. He was the closest thing I had to love.
Whenever people ask why we had broke up, I have three tiers of explanations. I told mostly everyone was that long distance wasn't working out, he was finishing up his Masters then heading to law school right afterwards. Then second, he was bipolar and abusive, and he used that towards me. Third, he nearly tried to kill me, and this is the hardest to really explain.
I was a bulimic when I met him. He always loved how I looked but I was in denial. I hated how I looked, but he always thought I was getting too thin. He knew I had anxiety over food, and I would go on Skype and eat dinner with him as we were doing long distance. He said, I looked really pretty when I had eaten, and it would turn him on. I wanted to please him. He told me his favorite foods were pecan pie and chicken wings, so I would eat that infront of him. This is the grossest part, but he would jack off to me eating. He told me things, like take bigger bites, or take your top off and eat, and I thought it was just this cute little thing he liked about me.
Well this became where I started eating foods that were forbidden for me; bread, pasta, cookies, pizza. Before, I was eating two yogurts a day, and occasionally a small bowl of rice and meat. I gained 25lbs while with him. He wanted to see me take pics in all my bras, and noticed one of my bras wouldn't strap down. But he liked it.
I visited him a couple months ago. Right as soon as we got to his place, we had sex. I felt so uncomfortable with the weight I had gained, he kept pinching my thighs and teasing me. I started crying because I was ashamed of how I looked. We started fighting, I accused of him being bipolar (which he was), and we broke up. I still had two weeks left to stay with him.
I didn't have money to go home at the time, so I stayed. He was so mad at me, that he started ignoring me. At one point I asked if I could leave his room, and he said no. I was passive and stayed inside. I would sleep all day, but then realized I didn't have water all day, and I went to ask for it. He said no. I was like whatever, I'll drink out of the bathroom faucet. But this denial went on for days. At one point I had gotten a fever, and I asked if I could have some kind of soup or medicine. He said no. My neck at one point started to stiffen, and I had two lumps on my neck. I was really nervous, but I couldn't call anyone, because I didn't want my parents or friends to know what my "perfect" boyfriend had done to me.
I was really hungry, sick, and needed to go to the hospital. But he wouldn't take me. I was so vulnerable at the time, and he was the closest thing I had, I even tried to convince him with blowjobs to take me to the hospital. He still wouldn't. By day 12, I was cold, tired, and hungry. I finally snapped out of it, and told him I was going to call the police.
He said, fine, I'll take you to the hospital, but let's take some stuff with you because you'll be there for a couple of days. I was so enthusiastic, I even thought maybe he loves still. I grabbed a small bag with clothes, leaving the rest of my stuff at his place, and we were heading off to the hospital. But I knew we weren't going to the hospital. He took me to the airport. My flight wasn't leaving for another two days. He told me to get out, and said "good luck, fat whore" and left me at the airport.
I bought medicine at the airport, and took it with me to the bathroom. I started crying, I wanted to kill myself. I was so sick I felt like my head was spinning. I would continue to keep buying medication from the kiosk, and got a flight back home 12 hours earlier than my intended flight.
I told my parents I caught something at the airport, which was the reason why I looked so sick. They took me to the hospital. I remember them telling me my weight, and just feeling a rush of guilt. Found out that I had a very low oxygen level, and some kind of tonsillitis, and a fever.
I've been losing and gaining ever since I broke up with him. The way he objectified my body really put a lot on my mentality. I'll never know if my body will ever be good enough.
[Rant/Rave] I'm so embarrassed.
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 102.9 | 18.8 | -34 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 2 09:48:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ace7e/im_so_embarrassed/
---
[removed]
[Help] I need to get my ED back
/u/NIN_88 [5'3 | CW: 128 | 23 | GW:89 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 2 09:44:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7acd3d/i_need_to_get_my_ed_back/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Reverse body dysmorphia? [Discussion]
/u/instantanarchy [5'3 | 150 | 27 | FTM]
Created: Thu Nov 2 09:31:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ac9xp/reverse_body_dysmorphia_discussion/
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So, normal people with eating disorders see themselves as bigger than they actually are, right? But I see myself as smaller/thinner. Like, I trick myself into seeing bones or thinness even though my weight and measurements demonstrably prove otherwise (high end of "healthy" bmi, overfat by waist/height ratio). The knowledge that I'm not seeing myself accurately drives me to keep losing weight, keep restricting, keep relapsing, because otherwise I'm scared I'll get enormous and not even notice.
[Help] Metabolism and Misconceptions
/u/figuredhood
Created: Thu Nov 2 09:19:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ac72w/metabolism_and_misconceptions/
---
Hi guys so I’m going on fasts but I’ve heard your metabolism slows down. Does that mean I wouldn’t burn a TDEE of around 1600 then? If I exercise or drink black coffee, which I hear is good for boosting the metabolism will it help?
I’ve also heard that going on fasts means once you stop you will gain all the weight back.
Is this true? What are your experiences or other misconceptions?
Thanks a lot for any pointers
[Discussion] Worst things to purge?
/u/skinthin
Created: Thu Nov 2 09:12:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ac5ca/worst_things_to_purge/
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I honestly think wasabi is the #1 worst thing to purge. 10/10 would not recommend. What do you think is the worst thing to purge? I'd like to see what I can agree on, because although purging in itself sucks, I kind of enjoy it sometimes? Maybe I am odd.
Another Binge Post
/u/DowntownTriumph91
Created: Thu Nov 2 09:03:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ac329/another_binge_post/
---
It starts out as a fleeting idea; a mere want. That mere want quickly turns into a torturous desire that penetrates me at my core; The impatient need hits. I can't wait. I can't fucking wait to self destruct again. Leave me alone, get out of my way, it's all about me. Alone or not, now at least, I indulge-- shamefully, yet ever so self righteously-- in my appetite.
My thoughts are still here, swirling around my head; I just start thinking about how 'I deserve this', and how I am a piece of shit, pathetic, disgusting, failed failure, fraud...
Yet I continue. I wait for some profound touch of light, or strike of magic to come from within me, within my despairing heart, from fucking anywhere... But all that I'm left with is the shame and remorse of my actions and anxiety over the very real consequences at hand.
I feel like I'm stuck in limbo, leaning towards hell. I can't stand myself and my current reality. I'm fat. I'm filthy. I'm disgusting. I'm alone. I'm unlovable. I'm selfish. I'm nothing.
There is a sick comfort in this process; a high from the binge, a high from the purge, an attractive allure to the self destruction, succumbing to overwhelming belief that I am my own self fulfilled prophecy.
Ultimately, though, I tell myself that I don't want it, and find myself here over, and over. I don't want recovery; I don't think I deserve it. Although it has been stated that particular body size does not necessarily define an individuals illness, I can't help but feel that it is different for me; I'm disgustingly fat, and for scale, "average" BMI. Well....maybe not after this binge...
I want to have this change occur internally, but I want to want it; similar to my early days in recovery from substance abuse. I wanted to want to be clean and sober, but I was (and very obviously am) afraid to face myself and live my life without a source of sick, devastating, and destructive comfort. In the same vein, I'm exhausted from this oppressive mentality of crippling self hate and fear.
Physically, it feels like I'm deteriorating. Mentally I don't think I can continue on this way. All I can do is lay in bed, sleep, and wake up so I can stuff my face, wallow in pity and anxiety, decide to do absolutely nothing, and go back to sleep, rinse and repeat for...weeks..now.
Where did my want for strict regiment and self control go? Why did the restricting aspect leave me? I had it, and it was wonderful. I felt like I was unstoppable. Now, and for the last week or two, I can't stop thinking about food, binging, purging, and overall feeling dissatisfied.
I'm on mobile, so I apologize, but can't tag this.
I don't know what I want or need right now. I don't know how to get out of this. All I can say is I trust you here in this community and I appreciate you listening.
[Tip] I found this amazing spreadsheet that organizes food by protein per calorie and wanted to share!
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 105 | 18.5 | F 🍍]
Created: Thu Nov 2 08:46:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7abz64/i_found_this_amazing_spreadsheet_that_organizes/
---
The spreadsheet is [here](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PnUZ3NnjUxXRGoLcdMsV6fztsmon4AMSzYcnOCwlG2M/edit#gid=0) and i totally recommend you check it out!
Lately Ive been exercising more and wanting to get some protein in because got DAMN my muscles are sore and not recovering the next day. So i started trying to math which foods i had that would give me protein for the smallest amount of cals, and low and behold a redditor already did the math for me!
The original reddit post is [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Fitness/comments/2fa487/foods_ranked_by_protein_per_calorie/).
tuna and shrimp here i come!
[Rant/Rave] I just had one of the dumbest triggers...
/u/sahdgurl
Created: Thu Nov 2 08:26:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7abud2/i_just_had_one_of_the_dumbest_triggers/
---
So, i was at a thrift store looking for clothes as mine are starting to fall off. I found a cute sweater and tried it on, it fit but it was a little tight. But, the sweater was a size large. So, i freaked out thinking i must have gained and whatnot. I immediately went and purged.
When i came back i found out i was in the children's section. Oops.
I’ve lost almost 40 pounds and I can’t see a difference at all.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 2 08:19:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7absrd/ive_lost_almost_40_pounds_and_i_cant_see_a/
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[deleted]
[Help] Motivation to restrict?
/u/smange719
Created: Thu Nov 2 07:05:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7abcou/motivation_to_restrict/
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[removed]
[Help] Stupid question about exercise
/u/talktoaliens [5'6" | CW:113 | GW:110 | 18.4]
Created: Thu Nov 2 07:04:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7abcli/stupid_question_about_exercise/
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Say I do 15k steps in a day but ONLY from walking vs 10k steps which is walking + say ~30 minutes of running, which one would burn more calories? And what if it was 10k steps walking vs 10k steps walking + a 30 min run? My instinct says that obviously running is more strenuous and burns more, but if you’re doing the same amount of steps (over a longer period I guess?) then maybe it’s the same?
[Other] I told my boyfriend about my ED
/u/bagelzboi [5'3 | CW:85bs | 21F]
Created: Thu Nov 2 06:55:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7abasg/i_told_my_boyfriend_about_my_ed/
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I was so scared of telling him after hiding for so long but it was becoming too painful to keep pretending I was ok. It was super emotional and it took a huge weight off me because now I don't have to hide anymore. He's been super supportive and understanding. He went and bought me bagels and chocolate this morning (which were thrown out as soon as he left sorry,) because he's a little clueless but I cried a bunch anyway.
[Discussion] Traveling with Others
/u/takayl
Created: Thu Nov 2 06:21:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ab4e0/traveling_with_others/
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I’m going out of town with a friend and some of her family this weekend - I’ve been fasting all week so far but I know I’ll have to eat when I’m with them. How do you guys hide your smaller portions or general obsessiveness with food? Sorry if this is silly or common sense, I’ve actually always had a problem with binging and never got the courage to restrict + have avoided eating with others for a while now.
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support November 02, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Nov 2 06:11:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ab2e3/weekly_emotional_support_november_02_2017/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 02, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Nov 2 06:09:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7ab250/daily_food_diary_november_02_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 02, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] [Rant/Rave] I feel like I'm just being overdramatic
/u/yaboyspissed [5'7" | M19 | b/p mess]
Created: Thu Nov 2 05:53:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aaz7d/rantrave_i_feel_like_im_just_being_overdramatic/
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Whenever I feel week or tired or crappy and I know its because of my ED, I always seem to twist it around on myself and just say that its me being an overdramatic mother fucker. Tired at work and feeling faint? No, can't be ED related!!! You're just lazy af, and your BMI is 16.69 so it can't possibly be that bad.
Anyone else feel like this?
[Rant/Rave] Stuck between a rock and a hard place
/u/Vitaneon
Created: Thu Nov 2 05:29:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aav7z/stuck_between_a_rock_and_a_hard_place/
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I feel sick and I want to purge so badly, but I've been trying to force myself to stop to keep my teeth and throat healthy but ever since I started resisting, I'll go through several hours of the worst nausea and headaches and acid and I'm not sure how to stop this, I'm kind of damned if I do, damned if I don't.
Also I've been binging (I'm talking 3000ish calorie days) the last two days and it's only making this worse and I don't know how to stop, I feel so sick.
Sorry if this doesn't contribute much, I just don't have anybody to talk to about this since none of my friends or family care and I wanted to get it off my chest.
[Discussion] Dec. 30th - Nov. 2nd 2017 Questions of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 2 04:54:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aapn7/dec_30th_nov_2nd_2017_questions_of_the_day/
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I’m so sorry lovelies, I keep forgetting to look at the book!
Oct. 30th:
Are you able to tell when you have enough?
Oct. 31st;
Halloween plans? What’s your costume?
Nov. 1st:
What was something you couldn’t do today?
Nov. 2nd:
What’s your biggest expense right now?
❤️
[Help] How to handle obsessive thoughts with food?
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 102.9 | 18.8 | -34 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 2 04:25:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aalji/how_to_handle_obsessive_thoughts_with_food/
---
I will get major cravings, and try to curb them with healthier substitutes but then I end up eating the substitutes and ultimately eating whatever thing I was trying to avoid. Like today: chocolate. Couldn't get it out of my head, tried grapes and blueberries and other healthier sweet things. Didn't help; the thoughts kept hounding me and I couldn't focus on my work. I was only able to focus after eating a kitkat.
How do you get rid of cravings/manage food obsessions, preferably without eating alternatives because that doesn't seem to be helping?
[Discussion] Has anyone bought clothes they can't wear?
/u/heartemoji
Created: Thu Nov 2 04:11:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aajl8/has_anyone_bought_clothes_they_cant_wear/
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I am considering buying this sweater because of this photo..
[Sweater](https://i.imgur.com/isq0sWj.jpg)
But I wouldn't be able to wear it and look like her until I lose literally 30 lbs..
Is this a stupid idea? Lol
[Help] Where do you buy jeans?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 2 03:25:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aadgp/where_do_you_buy_jeans/
---
[deleted]
[Help] My head feels like a hurricane when I'm not hard restricting
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Thu Nov 2 02:59:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7aaa36/my_head_feels_like_a_hurricane_when_im_not_hard/
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With my ED there is control, stability and grace. I feel like I can take on the world.
Recently I've tried to be normal, for my husbands sake. I lasted I think two weeks and I'm back again because I feel like my life is falling to pieces and I can't seem to get it back together.
I don't know how to describe it.
I day dream about days my husband and I don't both have off together so I can fast all day at home while cleaning and delcuttering.
Am I insane?
[Help] Worried that my new meds are gonna make me gain...have any of you gained while on antidepressants?
/u/DayddyLonglegs
Created: Thu Nov 2 01:27:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a9zdf/worried_that_my_new_meds_are_gonna_make_me/
---
I've been taking Prozac for about a week now...googled it and it said it could make me gain weight?
[Other] Snapchat buddies?
/u/IttyBittyBatty [5'5"| -13lb | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 2 01:02:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a9w43/snapchat_buddies/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] can’t sleep
/u/cokezeroshill [5'7.5"| 19.14 | GW 99lbs]
Created: Thu Nov 2 00:30:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a9rw5/cant_sleep/
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i can never sleep when im fasting. its only been 28 hours. fuck. don’t know whether or not to continue with my fast tomorrow, ideally the answer would be ‘yes’ but realistically it’s probably a ‘no’. i just have to remember that its all up to me, only i can decide whether or not i continue with this fast. i need to continue it, i know this, but in the end it all comes down to willpower. man i just want to die.
[Rant/Rave] I’m feel so disgusting!
/u/UnforgivingLoaf
Created: Wed Nov 1 23:20:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a9hqb/im_feel_so_disgusting/
---
I feel like the biggest failure right now. I’ve been extreme restricting since my relapse but even at ~200 calories (some days less) I feel even bigger than before. Why is it that I feel like I’m faking this. The one thing I’m supposed to feel control over. The one thing I can do right in my life and I’m not doing that right!! I’m going to fast until I can’t get out of bed. I’m not eating until there’s no other option. I refuse to stay a failure. I refuse to be fat and out of control anymore! This feeling ends tonight. xxx
[Rant/Rave] I am so done.
/u/Hannah-Girl
Created: Wed Nov 1 23:15:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a9gvk/i_am_so_done/
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I hate this. I hate what ever is controlling me . I hate binging on 2,000 calories in the span of 30 minutes. I hate being the only thirteen year old with an ED at this school. I hate how people value me more now that I am 88 pounds then when I was 125. I hate how my friends comment on every food choice I make. I hate how my beautiful friend hates herself and thinks I am perfect. I hate how my mom watches every bite that enters my body. I hate how my art teacher comments on my weight. I hate how my best friend calls me a whore because I wear red lipstick to distract from the purge bloat. I hate how my dad thinks I am still fat. I hate this. I didn’t sign up for this. I want out.
[Help] 200 mg caffeine pills & appetite suppression?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18| f | 22]
Created: Wed Nov 1 23:09:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a9fzz/200_mg_caffeine_pills_appetite_suppression/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Verbal Abuse & fasting
/u/shortyaten
Created: Wed Nov 1 23:05:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a9fdx/verbal_abuse_fasting/
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My bf is honestly a verbal abuser & I literally don't eat because of him since the comments about my weight, my fat thighs and seeing all the skinny models on his computer. But he is a big guy which is stupid and forces me to eat with him idk I think it's double standards and if he wanted to lose weight he wouldn't binge on all this food and reflect on me.
Not hungry?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 1 22:39:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a9b8b/not_hungry/
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[deleted]
[Help] 21 hours into a 24 hour fast
/u/khristy313
Created: Wed Nov 1 22:15:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a96z9/21_hours_into_a_24_hour_fast/
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I'm almost there, I've been feeling amazing all day and I was barely even hungry but OH MY GOD ALL I WANT IS SALAD WITH A MOUNTAIN OF CROUTONS AND DRESSING. Can you lovely people give me some support in staying strong and making it to the end of the night please? I love you all ❤️
[Discussion] Purging For the First Time, Not What I Expected
/u/grrrlgang [5'5" | SW: 170 | CW:158 | GW: 110]
Created: Wed Nov 1 22:03:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a94qs/purging_for_the_first_time_not_what_i_expected/
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So I purged for the first time today and it was a surreal experience to say the least. I normally tend to restrict but for some reason something in my brain just flipped. I ate a normal amount of food ~1000 calories which is more than I wanted but a number I could accept.
The problem started when I got in the shower after dinner. I know I fucked up when I got on the scale and was 2 pounds heavier. I know I shouldn't have done that. I know logically I can't gain 2 pounds in a day. I know that. But I was showering and there was some little voice telling me to just try, just see if I could throw my dinner up. And I tried and I failed but that voice just told me to keep going until it worked.
Purging was such an out of body experience and I don't think I like it. I felt numb and I couldn't stop. Even when I knew all my dinner was out the tiny voice told me to keep going. I had to force myself not to keep trying because logically I knew there was nothing left. Does anyone else ever experience this? Like the feeling of knowing to stop, knowing not to purge, and yet feeling compelled to regardless. It's was so strange to not feel in control but at the same time it made me feel more in control afterwards.
[Discussion] [Discussion] Does anyone else use the shitty stuff that's happened to them lately as motivation to get skinnier?
/u/gawainspussy [5'2.5| 139.4 |F]
Created: Wed Nov 1 21:59:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a93mj/discussion_does_anyone_else_use_the_shitty_stuff/
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My grades are shit, I'm fat as fuck, and people suck.
[Help] bloated & too full: should i take a lax or diuretic?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 1 21:57:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a93ci/bloated_too_full_should_i_take_a_lax_or_diuretic/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Years
/u/mildolconf [5'9" | 134.2 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 1 21:26:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a8xrb/years/
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This is kind of a rambling stream of consciousness so sorry in advance...
Sometimes I wonder if I'll always be like this. In the past I thought it was just going to be my way of life I was permanently stuck with. I actually recovered for 2 years which changed everything and made me realize recovery IS possible which is something I so desperately hoped and wanted to believe, and needed to hear. Since relapsing, I look back and see how much of my life I've preoccupied myself with thoughts of food, restricting, over-exercising, and self-loathing. It's been a good 7 years and I'm just amazed and so sad realizing that. I don't know what this is, but I'm just not doing too well right now.
[Rant/Rave] I'm so worthless
/u/floralpeach
Created: Wed Nov 1 21:18:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a8wf4/im_so_worthless/
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I have nobody in my life. Technically that's not true, it's not like I'm literally isolated, but it feels that way. I have no friends, and my family hates me. I have nobody that I can talk to, or trust, or depend on, or hang out with. It's terrible. My mom tells me every chance she gets that I'm a horrible person and that I don't do anything but cause drama and complain, and she hates me. I feel like I try so hard to be perfect, but I'm a complete failure. I'm not sure what's wrong with me. I just wish I had one supportive person in my life.
[Rant/Rave] Just binged and turned an 800cal day into a 3300cal one
/u/lavendersmoke [5'5" | CW 127.4 | GW 105 | -5 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 1 21:08:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a8uaq/just_binged_and_turned_an_800cal_day_into_a/
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I've been thinking a lot about chewing and spitting but to me it seemed wasteful, but now I wish I had. I can't purge because my boss is in the next room and will kill me if she catches me doing that but fuck this fucking sucks.
Tomorrow I'm going to take an EC stack so I won't even be tempted to eat. Ugh
[Rant/Rave] My clothes are falling off, but I feel fatter than ever.
/u/boozeandbunnies [5'6" | CW 118 | GW 110 | BMI 19 | -12lbs | F/23 |]
Created: Wed Nov 1 21:01:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a8sxo/my_clothes_are_falling_off_but_i_feel_fatter_than/
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Also I’m really annoyed because I just got these clothes and now I’m going to have to buy new shit again. Fuuuuck.
I have the teeniest sliver of a thigh gap though. So 🤷♀️
[Help] ADVICE ON EATING OUT...with other humans
/u/ladywinterz
Created: Wed Nov 1 20:31:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a8n4m/advice_on_eating_outwith_other_humans/
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Without revealing too much about myself, I will say that I live in a city that is very well known to be a hub of so so much great food. Which, I guess we can say about most lovely cities, no? This just means that inadvertently I'm asked out to dinner at least once a week. Anyway, can you all help me with how to maintain my diet around PEOPLE? It gets really tough to not trigger a binge and fall off track for 2/3 days when I know other people are watching me eat. I used to get away with always inviting people to my place to cook so I was fully in-control, but now even that's just getting to be a) messy and b) annoying. I guess I am just looking for some advice as to how to go to brunch and you know, not just get the fucking oatmeal or fruit I guess? I just hate the "that's all?" comment it drives me insane. Then there's the other side of me that goes out to eat or to a party in attempt to be normal and morph into an animal cause I say to myself, "Ok I want to eat like a normal human...consume your alcohol like a normal human" ...idk it's always one extreme or the other with me, and when I fall off the wagon it takes me 3/4 days to get back up.
So this weekend, I have a brunch with an old friend, and since yesterday I have been grappling with how to go about it without completely fucking up my whole next week. The brunch is Sunday, and I'm thinking this hard about it!! Ugh WHY?!!? Thanks for your help yall.
[Rant/Rave] I “only” ate 1000 calories today but I feel so bloated its like Im pregnant.
/u/lavenderbruises [5'9"|CW 110| GW 100| BMI 16| 19F]
Created: Wed Nov 1 20:22:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a8l37/i_only_ate_1000_calories_today_but_i_feel_so/
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My target is 500. I have been doing pretty good so far. But today I broke my streak and binged 500 more calories in the form of eggs, toast, and a shitton of cabbage.
And oh my GOD. My stomach feels so bloated its like its gonna burst. This is so uncomfortable. I have never felt this full in my life yet I still have that uncontrollable urge to stuff my face.
And to think this could have all been prevented by a single piece of chewing gum (I ran out).
[Rant/Rave] The worst thing about an eating disorder is you actively want to be mentally ill
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 111 | GW: 105 | M/15]
Created: Wed Nov 1 20:21:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a8kyy/the_worst_thing_about_an_eating_disorder_is_you/
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Like it would be easy to stop if I didn't want to keep my eating disorder because it's the only thing keeping me skinny
[Rant/Rave] I don't know what the fuck is happening to my body but at least I barely ate for the past 3 days?
/u/ayvyns [5'7“ | 135| 21.14 | -7 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 1 20:14:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a8jj0/i_dont_know_what_the_fuck_is_happening_to_my_body/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] "Binge" series crowdfunding is happening 11/27
/u/ALonelySeaCucumber [5'6" | CW 139.6 GW 110 | 22.5 | -20.4 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 1 20:10:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a8ijr/binge_series_crowdfunding_is_happening_1127/
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I hope this is allowed, but I wanted to let everyone know that "binge" is crowd funding, starting November 27th, to be able to make 5 more episodes! I'm super excited, and I signed up to be an ambassador for the show because I think this series is well made and very important.
I'm dropping the link to the pilot, in case anyone didn't see it or wants to see it again😊
https://youtu.be/aN9syJfWp8U
[Rant/Rave] People think I'm pregnant
/u/luxklepto
Created: Wed Nov 1 20:01:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a8gok/people_think_im_pregnant/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] holy crap how do you guys hold down normal jobs, i cant do this
/u/champu-petal [5'6" | CW: 110 | HW: 152 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 1 19:56:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a8fn5/holy_crap_how_do_you_guys_hold_down_normal_jobs_i/
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i literally feel so shitty and just wanna quit and go home and this job i have is extremely prestigious but i can't keep up with the requirements. i spend half the day by the private fourth floor bathroom worried that i'll involuntarily vomit or pass out. and i just feel so alone bc when i tried to tell me boss i was struggling, she seemed kinda upset with me. i don't look sick, i hide it well, so she must think i'm making excuses
seriously how do you guys stay functional
[Discussion] Stomach issues
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 1 19:19:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a87ic/stomach_issues/
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[deleted]
[Help] Party in 2 days and I need to look skinny/get rid of bloat. But there are obstacles...help!
/u/notathrowaway836
Created: Wed Nov 1 18:48:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a80s2/party_in_2_days_and_i_need_to_look_skinnyget_rid/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] just feeling a way today
/u/underandoverwhelmed [5'4" | f | cw 141.1]
Created: Wed Nov 1 18:39:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a7yzt/just_feeling_a_way_today/
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it’s been one of those overcast days that feels like everything has slowed down; it has me groggy and lazy. as to be expected, food has been a difficult situation for me to deal with today. while I’ve been maintaining a fairly steady 200-400 calorie per day habit, I’ve been quite physically active at work, and I’m starting to get to the point where I have to keep something safe to eat on me at all times. so, tonight at the grocery store, I mulled around all of the aisles, and I only came out with two things. it’s been difficult to find something that feels safe and also adheres to my dietary needs. quick background: I have food allergies and sensitivities that really fuck me up. so, I’m still feeling uneasy about the bars, but I don’t have the energy to prepare food right now, and I feel like a lot of the easy whole foods I can eat are fruit. even if it’s a whole food, I really don’t vibe with the sugar. I’m sure the next-level feelings I’m having today are semi-fueled by the fact that I was diagnosed with an autoimmune/inflammatory condition. I’m just out of sorts on top of my already fragile existence where I feel internally, silently plagued by my major depression, anxiety, work, school, and just a general lack of self-worth and self-esteem. so, yeah, hey.
[Rant/Rave] I think I figured it out
/u/clementinecutie1
Created: Wed Nov 1 18:30:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a7wwz/i_think_i_figured_it_out/
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I still don't think that I have an eating disorder, but my eating and thoughts about my body/eating are definitely messed up. I could never understand why, but I think I'm starting to understand why. My mom is always being really critical of me, and doesn't care about me nearly as much as she cares about my siblings. She just spent a bunch of time reminding me of that. She basically just told me that everyone hates me and that I'm a terrible person, and of course that doesn't make me feel great about myself. I really want to starve or binge, I'm not sure, which is horrible because I was actually doing really good there past couple of days and eating normal amounts of food and feeling great about it. It was nice while it lasted. I don't deserve to eat like a normal person.
[Other] Louis Theroux's "Talking to Anorexia"
/u/doyouhearthatbatsy [5'7" | -70lbs]
Created: Wed Nov 1 18:21:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a7uxw/louis_therouxs_talking_to_anorexia/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cojf3RGamn0
[Goal] I'm trying to recover
/u/skinnysynth [5'3.25" | 113 lbs | 19.9 | -15 lbs | 🤖]
Created: Wed Nov 1 18:04:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a7qmz/im_trying_to_recover/
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Not because I particularly give a shit about myself, but because I want to be a nicer person again. My ED makes me legitimately mean. Just cruel and harsh and horrible. My idols, my role models, are all soft and kind in the face of a cruel world, and I should be that way, too. This isn't a way to live.
But I know I don't want to gain any weight. I'm fortunate that I'm at a weight that I can maintain. I'm taking baby steps. But I need to get out of this. It's the mental side, the emotional and social side, that needs healing. I'm not 16 anymore, I'm not the angry intellectual reclusive Sherlock Holmes wannabe I was last time around, where starving myself made me special and superior. I'm an adult woman, I know better, and I need to start living in the real world again.
[Intro] quick intro
/u/wxnter- [5'4 | CW: 118~ | 20.65 | 15lbs ]
Created: Wed Nov 1 17:54:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a7oh5/quick_intro/
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hi!! Ive been lurking for quite a bit so i guess i should introduce myself. i'm a college student. Last year i hit rock bottom with my ed and ended up in treatment for half a year. ive been in recovery for a bit but i just got off all my meds and started birth control at the same time which caused me to start gaining weight (I think - I'm not allowed a scale). so now im finding myself starting to relapse. being in my ed always is my comfort place, and gaining weight terrifies me (ive been kinda chubby most of my life up until last year). all i know is that i at least want to lose 15-20 pounds by christmas.
[Help] please, i need help getting back in the swing of things.
/u/sammythekitten
Created: Wed Nov 1 17:52:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a7o37/please_i_need_help_getting_back_in_the_swing_of/
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[removed]
[Help] Binge/Purging
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 1 17:47:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a7mw0/bingepurging/
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[deleted]
[Help] Does anyone know what recovery looks like for a binge eater? And someone who restricts a lot after?
/u/skydiver89
Created: Wed Nov 1 17:16:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a7fng/does_anyone_know_what_recovery_looks_like_for_a/
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I'm thinking of going to get help. I'm scared though. I don't know if I can do it. I eat really unhealthy foods. I binge maybe once or twice a week, and then other days, I'll probably eat one or two things? I'm sick of this. I don't want to die. I feel like shit.
[Rant/Rave] RANT: "At the moment unfortunately we do not have nutritional information available, however we do have some healthy alternatives options at the store."
/u/PleaseLoveMeAgain [5'2 | CW: 132lbs | GW: 110lbs | F]
Created: Wed Nov 1 16:35:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a76cm/rant_at_the_moment_unfortunately_we_do_not_have/
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Seriously, fuck you. You're a regional chain with over a dozen locations, all of which have the exact same menu. There's really no excuse not to have nutritional info available. And no, allowing me to substitute grilled chicken breast for fried chicken breast does not compensate for the hundreds upon hundreds of mystery calories in the rest of the dish.
I've eaten nothing all day because I knew I was going out tonight, but now I'm just going to order water.
losertown is a cruel mistress
/u/elliebearrrr [F21|5'6"|HW:190 SW:175 CW:148]
Created: Wed Nov 1 16:22:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a73bx/losertown_is_a_cruel_mistress/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Student film about Anorexia
/u/scoutthlostgil
Created: Wed Nov 1 16:14:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a71e2/student_film_about_anorexia/
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I’m in my first year of doing film and uni and my first project is to make a short telling a story without any dialog. My first thought was to make it about Anorexia. I’ve started planning everything out and found an actresses.
I’m posting about this because I want some advise on how to make the short and non triggering as possible. I know a lot about eating disorders, I have personal experience (or I wouldn’t be on this sight lol) and have done a lot of research, reading books and stuff (recommend the book waisted). What I need is advise on how to make sure it isn’t triggering. I don’t want it to be insensitive, offensive or trigger anyone.
I don’t want to glamorise eating disorders cuz it’s just not a glamorous thing but I’m worried showing the more “graphic” side could be really triggering, but I do want it to be really realistic. If you have any advise please share.
[Goal] The thing about goal clothes...YEAH
/u/howlowcanigo_45 [5'7|CW 122.2|19.1|GW 115| 23F]
Created: Wed Nov 1 16:06:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a6zk9/the_thing_about_goal_clothesyeah/
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OH MY GOD. The other day I was browsing along when I saw someone mention being surprised at being able to fit into a lower size pants than they thought. So being the online shopping addict I am I decided to buy a pair of size 1 jeans as a goal and motivation for me to keep going.
Got them today. AND THEY FUCKING FIT. WHAT. THE. HELL. They are stretchy and a little short but still, I'll take it as a win. Rolling up the bottoms and wearing them all winter.
Do you guys have goal clothes you try on? Are they clothes from a lower weight or new ones you bought just to motivate yourself?
[Help] calories in yerba mate??
/u/squishykiss
Created: Wed Nov 1 15:41:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a6tlq/calories_in_yerba_mate/
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trying not to freak out because i just tried to log some yerba mate that i got from my university's dining hall & i'm not 100% sure if it's the low calorie unsweetened kind. it tastes super bitter, is served hot or chilled, is a golden clear yellow color, and i added some zero calorie life water to sweeten it.
i'm always paranoid about getting diet drinks from soda fountains in dining hall, idk why i thought this yerba mate would be any less anxiety inducing. any estimates as to what the calorie count would be? Thanks!!
[Discussion] Does Anyone Else Only Binge When PMSing?
/u/Flesh_Daddy_
Created: Wed Nov 1 15:03:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a6km3/does_anyone_else_only_binge_when_pmsing/
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Can't flair, on mobile, sorry!
But I was recently in a week long binge where I just said "fuck calorie counting, gonna get buck wild". I gained three pounds and I'm on the verge of tears because I was losing so much up until this point. Then I started my period and I'm back to no cravings, no hunger, nothing.
PMS is ruining my life, I swear. I only binge when I'm PMSing and I only fight with my fiancé when I'm PMSing because I'm a raging bitch.
Ugh kill me.
[Discussion] Do you guys work out often?
/u/crazylama13
Created: Wed Nov 1 14:53:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a6hwd/do_you_guys_work_out_often/
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I’m always in a constant battle with working out because I like it a lot but I don’t eat enough calories to have the energy to workout as hard as I want to. What do you guys do?
[Help] Productivity triggers intense restriction, not sure how to feel
/u/diet247x [5'3 | CW 132 | HW 155 | GW 125 | UGW 107 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 1 14:44:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a6fp9/productivity_triggers_intense_restriction_not/
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I developed my eating disorder around the same time I started feeling enormous pressure to be perfect with school & extracurriculars when I was 9.
Now I'm 26 but if I have a super productive week, I automatically feel this intense need to restrict heavily and barely eat. I mean, I still want to lose 15-20 lbs and I can afford to lose this weight if I'm being honest. But I am uneasy about how my brain seems to connect success to not eating. I know this isn't true for me, but I can't seem to shake it.
I don't want to stress too much over this, and end up overcorrecting and binging because that's definitely a possibility for me too. But at the same time, I really want to continue losing the weight with high restriction and yoga, it's done wonders for my mental state and I've been really happy.
Just wondering if you guys have any similar experiences? I feel so stupid for being this way.
[Discussion] Pre-Binge Guilt
/u/k457
Created: Wed Nov 1 14:42:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a6fg0/prebinge_guilt/
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Some days I get this feeling inside me that I can only describe as a mixture of guilt, shame, and a compulsion to binge. It almost always leads to an actual binge. There are days where I wake up with this feeling and tell myself I will be strong, only to end up falling victim to this self generated fate. Anyone else feel this way?
[Discussion] Let your self eat above your calorie limit?
/u/allafternooninlove
Created: Wed Nov 1 14:29:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a6cfv/let_your_self_eat_above_your_calorie_limit/
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Hi again.
Just wondering if anyone let yourself eat above your calorie limit for one day or two?
Today I eat a kebab with fries because I haven’t pooped for so long lol. But at the same time I feel bad because I’ve managed to stay under my limit and lost weight pretty quick lately.
Self sabotage
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 1 14:29:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a6ceu/self_sabotage/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Crying in the toilets on my anniversary
/u/Dietfuckingcoke [5'4'' | CW 113.4 lbs | BMI 19.3 | GW 108 lbs | 24F]
Created: Wed Nov 1 14:24:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a6bbu/crying_in_the_toilets_on_my_anniversary/
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Me and my boyfriend are celebrating our two year anniversary with a 3 course meal at a really amazing fancy Chinese restaurant. I'm a vegetarian and there is only two option so I was going to get the vegetarian chicken and veg but it wasn't available so the other veggie option is a massive plate of noodles. I just picked the veg out of them and left the rest. Being a bitch to my boyfriend as well coz I feel like shit. I fucking hate this disorder 😭😭😭
[Rant/Rave] There’s never any “pay-off”
/u/babylemonadexx [5'7 👶🏼 99lbs 🍋 15~]
Created: Wed Nov 1 13:42:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a60u0/theres_never_any_payoff/
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It never fucking ends. Obsessively calculating the same calories 100 times a day; planning out every single bite for tomorrow; feeling like shit if something doesn’t go exactly to plan; freaking out over socialising because HOLY SHIT WHAT IF THEY EXPECT ME TO EAT; not being able to enjoy getting drunk and partying because HOO BOY, we’ll have to make up for those extra calories with an extended fast next week; breaking down because restaurants don’t list their exact calorie contents; bursting into tears because my mom tried to be nice and bought me toffee apples I hadn’t planned for; melting down because I can’t even trust prepackaged food these days...do I need to go on? Lmao
The point is, there’s no big reward - never any real feeling of satisfaction or happiness. I thought once I was “thin enough,” the work would be done: I’d be happy and could eat what I want, when I want. But no, because that means I’ll just gain again, and all of this will have been for nothing.
At this point, it feels like I have no choice other than to keep going. Unless I accept the fact I’m going to gain weight, I have to stick with this shit forever - and that’s actually kinda really fuckin’ scary.
#thanksforlisteningladiesandgents
[Other] BuJo, November calendar! Starting new. 1wk fast tomorrow.
/u/murdermttens [5'6"| fat |gw 98| F]
Created: Wed Nov 1 13:33:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a5yp9/bujo_november_calendar_starting_new_1wk_fast/
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https://imgur.com/gallery/awFgt
[Discussion] Banking calories for splurges
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Wed Nov 1 12:48:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a5nt3/banking_calories_for_splurges/
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It’s November 1st which means my favorite holiday is near and I’ll start banking calories to eat on Thanksgiving. Anyone else use long term deficits to indulge?
[Rant/Rave] 'You overestimate the amount of calories you eat'
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5'4" | 123 | 21.4 | GW: 115 | NB]
Created: Wed Nov 1 12:10:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a5ehm/you_overestimate_the_amount_of_calories_you_eat/
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Immediately followed up with 'that's why you eat so little' no I eat so little because I'm fat. I want to lose weight despite the fact I think I'm ready for recovery. I overestimate to get thinner because then I'll be pretty/handsome and maybe people will tell me I'm pretty/handsome and I'll be happy about myself.
I've been told no more coffee because I'm apparently on the verge of being manic but fuck it.
[Discussion] Anyone have experience maintaining at a BMI that's slightly underweight?
/u/helpppmeplease
Created: Wed Nov 1 11:18:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a51bj/anyone_have_experience_maintaining_at_a_bmi_thats/
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Hi I'm *new*. (Actually I'm a long-time lurker who's never actually posted before, so please let me know if I have to change anything, thanks!) I've been struggling with some disordered eating patterns for a little over a year now and I really hate how much time/energy/focus they take from my life. BUT, I can't let them go because I still want to lose weight, and even when I start out high restricting I end up falling back into them.
My question is has anyone here maintained a BMI in 17s to low 18s and been able to reduce the obsession around food/calories? I'm at a high 19 now, and ideally once I reach that point I'd like to switch to maintenance. I'd also like to know for people who are there and eating at maintenance if you're able to function pretty normally in terms of having energy, normal hunger levels etc. Thanks for any help and perspectives you can share!
**Edit to add**: Thank you so much to everyone who replied so far! This really helps a lot, and gives me hope that I won't be miserable at my gw when I get there (one day) lol
[Help] Realizing I want to be sick and the guilt that comes with that fact
/u/ariisjustterrible [5'0 | 106 | GW:90 | HW:~160|18F]
Created: Wed Nov 1 11:13:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a5024/realizing_i_want_to_be_sick_and_the_guilt_that/
---
today it's dawned on me that part of my goal is... being ill? when i think about reaching my goal weight i think about feeling weak and having the results of my ED be truly apparent... it's apart of what i strive for.
am i a bad person? i'm sure other people feel this way but i feel so twisted- so many people are dealing with these things and trying to be better and im sat here dreaming about the repercussions.
edit:cant english most of the time
[Rant/Rave] Im pissed
/u/cactirootz
Created: Wed Nov 1 11:11:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a4zi5/im_pissed/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] RANT: my ED is making me selfish
/u/girlnamedgypsy
Created: Wed Nov 1 10:54:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a4v9f/rant_my_ed_is_making_me_selfish/
---
So, this may be ranty. I'm not sure yet.
I knew this week would already be kind of shitty. Yesterday was my due date for the baby I lost back in March. I was prepared for this week to suck.
But, apparently the universe decided that wasn't enough.. My FIL passed away Monday. He had cancer and we knew it was coming, but it wasn't supposed to happen this soon. Understandably, my husband is distraught, as is his family.
I'm trying to help out as much as I can, supporting my mother-in-law and husband as best as possible. But my ED brain has lost its fucking mind. All I can think about is not eating. There is food everywhere, but my ED has decided I shouldn't be allowed to eat. So, while I'm trying to make sure my MIL and husband eat, I'm also trying to not eat. I panicked yesterday because my MIL asked if I had had anything to eat and I couldn't lie, but I didn't want to eat.
My ED has also decided to kick my body dysmorphia in overdrive. I take up too much space. I'm so large and I need to be smaller. I needed to get some clothes but I was too concerned about my size to get something in front of my tiny MIL.
I know this is my brain coping with loss, but it's not a good time for me to struggle this much. My husband is my main support and I don't need to give him more to work about. I need to help out and I don't need to be struggling. I feel like this makes me so selfish. This isn't about me and if I keep struggling, it will become about me.
Sorry for the rant. I'm just lost.
[Discussion] Best anti-binge quotes/reminders to put in my journal?
/u/thinismygame [5'6.5" | 125 | F | 22]
Created: Wed Nov 1 10:52:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a4usr/best_antibinge_quotesreminders_to_put_in_my/
---
Can't stop binging for like a week now, but tomorrow I have 50 days until my LDR boyfriend comes home for Christmas so I'm getting my shit together no matter what. I'm taking to writing everything down physically in a journal because that's helped break my cycle before (unfortunately time crunches are a huge hurdle, when I want to meet a goal by a specific date for some reason I suck ass).
Do any of you have weight-loss/ED journals? I would love to know what you put in them! Right now I've got a list of reasons to keep going; a weight tracker; model stats to envy/work toward; and daily calorie trackers. I'd love your input! <3
[Discussion] Muscle Cramps?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 1 10:21:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a4na6/muscle_cramps/
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[deleted]
I'm beyond done.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 1 10:11:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a4l21/im_beyond_done/
---
[deleted]
[Help] Quiet workouts I can do without equipment?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 1 09:49:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a4fd8/quiet_workouts_i_can_do_without_equipment/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] He doesn't understand.
/u/ibizadaydreams [5'1 | CW120 | 22.7 | GW95| F]
Created: Wed Nov 1 09:42:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a4du7/he_doesnt_understand/
---
Our scale died and we finally got a battery for it. I weighed myself once at work and once at my moms over the past month and a half. One showed 130lbs and the other showed 125lbs. Both upset me.
I thought if I couldn't weigh myself everyday maybe I would lose weight and binge less. However I felt like I kept seeing myself getting bigger and bigger. Every time I looked in the mirror I looked HUGE. In the end my weight stayed the same pretty much. Whatever.
My husband comes out of the bathroom after weighing himself. He lost 17lbs and was very upset about it. Says it's the least amount he has ever weighed in his life. Bullshit. He looks the exact same as he always has. He's been going on and on this past month about his fucking wedding ring is falling off, he is on his last belt loop. He is so upset with himself that he "can't gain any weight". He doesn't eat anything. I eat WAY more than he does, every single day. It upsets me so much to cook a meal, split it in half and watch him not even finish his plate and I'm thinking I didn't cook enough/already thinking about what I will eat next.
I hate it. He doesn't understand. I can't talk about my weight around him because I get upset when his only suggestion is to stop eating junk food. Like it's that easy? Like I'm not fucking trying every single day to stop... But he can talk about his weight loss constantly. Pretending like he his trying hard to gain weight.
I wish he knew and understood how much it upsets me when he eats like a little girl and then acts like one when he weighs himself. It bothers me that he has so much self control. He stopped smoking, he stopped drinking caffeine, he doesn't eat junk food. No problem at all for him. His whole attitude of "don't come crying to me about your weight if are still eating junk food". I wish I could show him how hard it is for me. Fuck.
And then when I want to start working out or I make any attempt to exercise when he is around or to tell him about it because I'm proud I did something for myself. I get slapped with "I wish I had time to do that, I'm stuck working all the time" "Not fair that you can go to the gym or walk to work but my sore back wont let me" "I don't like hearing about you going and doing all of these things that I'm not comfortable doing" "You must think you look fine enough if you are okay being out in public and going to the gym".
[Other] EXCUSE ME. can't decide if I'm feeling personally attacked or have a confidant in the lab at school lolol
/u/placentagumbo [5'8" | CW 135 | GW 115 | UGW ?? | 26F]
Created: Wed Nov 1 08:37:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a3ykg/excuse_me_cant_decide_if_im_feeling_personally/
---
https://imgur.com/gUAyO0d
[Discussion] Experiences telling ur homie about ur ED?...
/u/ladywinterz
Created: Wed Nov 1 08:34:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a3xxa/experiences_telling_ur_homie_about_ur_ed/
---
Hey yall. Soooo I feel like I fucked up. My really good friend came into town last weekend, and we of course, partied our faces off (besides the point hehe). Anyway at the end of the night her and I were up chatting and I wound up talking to her about my ED and where it stems from, much like when I disclosed my issue to you all not too long ago. But, now she's like monitoring me and asking me which I suppose is only human, but I feel like I fucked up. I feel like you know, calling me every day to ask me if I have been eating or if I have been purging is just irritating and pressuring me. What also made me kind of upset was that she said she knew that I've struggled--and my first thing was like "UMM am I the topic of some dark conversation" but then also made me think "OMG AM I THIN?!" Idk, I just feel too vulnerable. I swear this is why I just keep my mouth shut and use this to vent bc you guys get that having someone monitor your food (THIS GIRL EVEN SENT ME A SET OF PANS-- LMAO I LOVE HER BUT NO, BABE, NOO). Anyway, I guess I am looking for advice as to 1) how I should monitor this situation and 2) how do I go about having an open conversation about my issues without someone calling me every day to see if I have eaten or B/P ?
[Rant/Rave] Isolating myself
/u/Fatalope [5'4| CW 150 | GW 104 |HW 168 | 19 F]
Created: Wed Nov 1 08:23:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a3vno/isolating_myself/
---
So long rambley rant coming here.
So I found out that my group of friends have created a group chat that doesn't include me, It shouldn't bother me as much as it does but god it hurts.
But I'm gonna try to use this as motivation to get to my goal weight.
If they don't want to be friends with me, I can at least use the hurt and pain to get my ass in gear and feel better about myself without them. I'll do what they do. Stay nice but make no attempt to start conversations or make any types of plans. Fuck em.
[Tip] Anti-binge hack, maybe
/u/incognitointodrama
Created: Wed Nov 1 08:23:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a3vlz/antibinge_hack_maybe/
---
So recently whenever i go over my calorie limit I'll just log the "surplus" food items in mfp/fitbit for the next day instead of for today. Seeing a relatively 'low' number for today makes me stay sane (as sane as can be) and doesn't set me up into full on binge mode (think "well now that I've messed up it doesn't matter anyway" ).
It kinda goes along with the usual "well, i ate too much today, have to eat less yesterday" but seeing "moderate" calories every day is way less triggering than having one huge red bar/ a red number of calories in general, plus i won't feel that hungry the next day (probably placebo haha) bc i see the food I've already logged for today. Also helps if you have one big binge and you can distribute the calories for it over a couple of days.
I don't know if this helps anyone, but i thought i might as well share it just for the chance that it helps even one of you. Definitely helped with my binges xx
[Rant/Rave] Pulled a muscle while purging...
/u/Conniethebird
Created: Wed Nov 1 08:07:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a3rxl/pulled_a_muscle_while_purging/
---
Has anyone else done this or am I just that clumsy that I did this? I pulled a muscle in my lower abdominals - noticed it doing warm-ups at a gymnastics class.
This must be the stupidest thing that's happened to me because of my ED 👍
[Other] Christmas Shoping
/u/borrow_our_light [5'6| 132.2lbs | 21.42 BMI | GW 125 | UGW 115 | 20F]
Created: Wed Nov 1 07:56:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a3pmo/christmas_shoping/
---
So my mom loves Christmas shopping early because she doesn't trust UPS to get stuff out to where we live (in the middle of nowhere) on time for Christmas. And since I don't live there anymore she has me email what I want to her. So far I have like 3 shirts all in size small, and they run small. Trying to use this as motivation to get to my next goal weight by Christmas, so I can actually wear my gifts
[Rant/Rave] I just want to be invisible
/u/sororityasian [5'4" | -5lbs | GW: 110lbs]
Created: Wed Nov 1 07:17:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a3hrp/i_just_want_to_be_invisible/
---
Enough is enough. I’m tired of being used. And I know I’m being used because I see the relationships I want to emulate, between couples and friends, and talking them out to my therapist. My whole life I’ve been insecure and constantly seeking validation.
Now that I’m 20 I feel like I’ve lost control of everything while trying to keep up an image for myself. I’m tired of being seen as an easy sex toy and I blame my body for it. I have curves and fat in all the “right” places, but I want to be seen more than that. I’ve never been in love and I feel like it’s my body’s fault. I work hard in school to just have it over looked, that the things I know how to do with my mouth is more important than the things I actually know and say.
I’ve cycled in and out of ED’s, specifically bulimia, and I’m tired. I’m tired of looking like this. I want control. I want to be in love. I want my body to disappear.
[Rant/Rave] Coworker comments again: "Did you eat a lot of candy last night?"
/u/Industrial_Strength
Created: Wed Nov 1 06:57:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a3drh/coworker_comments_again_did_you_eat_a_lot_of/
---
So I posted a few days ago here: https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79oce6/coworkers_commenting_on_my_food/
About my coworker coming over and commenting on my eating habits while I was having lunch at my desk.
As we know, last night was Halloween, and I budgeted 2 mini Twix bars (cuz theyre my favorite) and some wine into my calorie goals for the day. I had my husband take all leftover candy to work with him today. So I'm good.
This morning he comes up to me and is like "Did you have a lot of candy last night?" with the stupidest grin on his face.
Like WHAT. THE. FUCK.
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 01, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Nov 1 06:13:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a35v3/daily_food_diary_november_01_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 01, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday November 01, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Nov 1 06:10:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a35hu/way_to_go_wednesday_november_01_2017/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for November 01, 2017.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Tip] This weight tracking site generates great graphs that show trends over time
/u/dotprinceton [5'3" | CW 102.6lb | BMI 18.68 | GW 92lb | 36F]
Created: Wed Nov 1 06:10:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a35cf/this_weight_tracking_site_generates_great_graphs/
---
https://trendweight.com
[Help] Zantrex Black any good?
/u/headroom3 [pos]
Created: Wed Nov 1 05:59:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a33hs/zantrex_black_any_good/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Talked to my therapist today, and she said something interesting about overeating (x-post from r/xxfitness)
/u/TeenyBeanieWeenie [5'6 (66 in)| 127 lbs| 20 BMI | - 3| F]
Created: Wed Nov 1 05:28:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a2yif/talked_to_my_therapist_today_and_she_said/
---
The text below isn't mine. I included the link to the original at the bottom.
I'm recovering from an ED and this week I fell off the wagon and binged three days in a row. I consumed upwards of 4,000 calories every day and put on a few lbs, so I scheduled an appointment with my counselor to talk about what was going on. We were talking about why I do this and she asked me, "What else did you do this week?" My answers were, "I studied, I picked up extra hours at work, and I crammed for finals." She asked if I'd hung out with friends. Nope. Called my parents? Nope. She asked what fun things I'd done, and I couldn't think of one thing. Then she said, "Is it possible that eating is the only thing you do for yourself?"
That really struck me because I hadn't considered my eating habits from that angle, but as soon as she said it, I could see how true it was. I'm a full-time college student with two jobs and I honestly cannot remember the last time I spent time with my friends or did something fun. It feels like I'm always rushing from one thing to the next and I didn't realize what a toll that had.
I'm posting here to see if anyone else has had the same experience. I never knew why my ED developed and why I felt so out of control of my diet. I kept trying to fix it by focusing on my diet and exercise, but the problem was actually coming from somewhere else in my life. I called in sick from work today and I'm going to spend the afternoon shopping with my friends and we're going to go out to dinner afterwards. Even just making those plans made me feel a thousand times better and I didn't feel any urge to binge today :)
Original Post:
https://www.reddit.com/r/xxfitness/comments/4fz0l8/talked_to_my_therapist_today_and_she_said/?ref=share&ref_source=link
[Help] Maintaining Relationships?
/u/vaporeevie [5'5" | 115.7 | 19.3 | -31.3 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 1 05:13:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a2wb4/maintaining_relationships/
---
I've been struggling with a relapse since around April. I opened up to my partner in around June and he has been nothing but understanding and supportive without enabling. He has done reading about Eds without me asking, he is really just a perfect guy all around, which is why I moved across the world to be with him.
As my ED relapse has gotten worse and worse, my personality has changed, I have mood swings, I cry before during or after meals. It's just so unbelievably hard. I'm getting professional help next week, but part of me (obviously the sick part) doesn't want to get better. Have any of you maintained a healthy, loving relationship while deeply struggling? Any advice?
**mods please flair as help, on mobile and can't flair
[Other] My hands are orange!
/u/agent_philcoulson [5'4" | CW: 134 | GW: 120 | UGW: 110]
Created: Wed Nov 1 04:33:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a2ql7/my_hands_are_orange/
---
I ordered Overtone in extreme orange. It's like a hair stain. I forgot to wear gloves so I get to go to work with orange hands. Maybe I'll be so grossed out by them that I won't pick up food.
^one ^^can ^^^hope~~
Edit: Decided to fast today. Just made a new page in my brand new dot journal. Let's hope I can stick to it!
Edit 2: I ate 2 bite size Snickers. I have failed :( Fuck
It doesn’t work
/u/Alithetrans
Created: Wed Nov 1 00:53:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a1zay/it_doesnt_work/
---
[removed]
[Goal] holding myself to these goals this month
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18| f | 22]
Created: Wed Nov 1 00:53:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a1zad/holding_myself_to_these_goals_this_month/
---
1) lose the weight i gained over the summer, being underweight feels wonderful & i want that feeling back; it's less than 10 pounds, totally doable in a month and then i'll try to maintain
2) cut out most sugar and carbs
3) exercise more self-control around food. it's easy to eat extra calories, and much harder to lose that weight.
what are some goals that you lovely people have for this upcoming month?
[Discussion] I've started to purge everything I eat...?
/u/enigmatichoices [5'7F | 172 | -41 | gw: invisible]
Created: Wed Nov 1 00:52:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a1z4z/ive_started_to_purge_everything_i_eat/
---
So purging is sort of a new thing for me. I don't really know why it started, but I felt really good. At first I'd only purge if I had binged or eaten enough to make me full (which is one of my biggest binge triggers so I purge away that feeling) so now if I eat anything (not even bingeing just regular restriction) I purge it. Does anyone else do this? I'm spiraling kind of fast I guess.
[Help] facial bloating (& how to eliminate it)?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18| f | 22]
Created: Wed Nov 1 00:09:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a1tnc/facial_bloating_how_to_eliminate_it/
---
anytime i eat (especially carbs & sugar or candy or w/e), i feel like my cheeks immediately get bloated and chubby. i initially assumed that it was purely psychological because i do have body dysmorphia. maybe it's because (and i know i mention my maintenance weight gain a lot on here and probably sound overdramatic) i gained 7 pounds pretty quickly and haven't been able to lose it quickly, but i feel like it's weird that my face gets easily bloated after eating junk food. maybe it's sodium or something. idk, this happen to anyone else?
[Discussion] Welcome to November.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW: 141.4 | UGW 105 | 24/F]
Created: Tue Oct 31 22:15:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a1cgl/welcome_to_november/
---
Do you know the great thing about November? It has no memory of October. If you asked November what happened last night, it couldn't tell you a single thing. If you cried on his shoulder and told him how much you overate at the end of October, November would just shrug. Typical November, only cares about himself (and ensuring Christmas decorations go up after Thanksgiving). He doesn't even care about December.
You have 30 days ahead of you. That's it. We're thinking short term. What can you do in those 30 days? Live in the now. Make all your actions support your goals. And take your vitamins. Always do that and drink plenty of water. Come on, we know this.
Point is, use November wisely. Close your eyes and pretend it's December 31st. That's 2 months from now. What will you be wishing you accomplished in two months? Why not think of all your New Year Resolutions and get a jump start on some? Even one.
I hope all of your have a wonderful November. Some of us will be stressing about Thanksgiving pretty soon, but it's just one day. Don't worry about it the whole month. We've got this. Just work towards your goals, keep them in mind, and be safe.
----
I posted this exact post last year and I found it was appropriate once more. I hope all of you end the year on a good note.
[Rant/Rave] Halloween night
/u/curvylucifer [5'2 | gw 115 | -50lbs | F]
Created: Tue Oct 31 21:41:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a16nr/halloween_night/
---
Sorry on mobile, no flair!
Me, restricting at ~165 cals:
Sitting pretty on a couch, little black dress with tan legs. My friend, who is considerably taller and heavier, is sitting on the other side of the couch, stuffing her face with food.
Chips and dip. Chocolates. Lunchables. There's Ice cream in the fridge too.
We just got back from the grocery store. I look good tonight in my LBD and bomber jacket, I could barely feel my thighs jiggle- for once! I followed her through the store while she picked up random junk items for her crate she was carrying.
I kept my calm and grabbed a little package of seaweed and two diet caffeine free cokes. I even grabbed a pint of halo top to draw any suspicion away.
But here, were both sitting and I'm calm and in control lightly munching on seaweed crisps and sipping on bubbly diet coke.
Not trying to rag on my friend but restricting is just so so good.
I feel light and whispy.
I’ve decided to try water fasting
/u/Alithetrans
Created: Tue Oct 31 21:13:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a11p7/ive_decided_to_try_water_fasting/
---
[removed]
[Intro] Introductions from a reoffender. [Trigger Warning]
/u/Spooky_Magic_Potion [5'3" | 166.0 | 29.4 | 34lbs | 27F]
Created: Tue Oct 31 20:46:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a0wqa/introductions_from_a_reoffender_trigger_warning/
---
Hello everyone, trying to become more involved with the community, so here is a bit about me.
I am 27 years old and, well, falling back into old habits.
Starting from the beginning, in 9th grade I started high-school at 5'3" 170 lbs. That's when I started to become really obsessive over my weight. Back in the day I logged everything on my Xanga page (showing my age right now) and had several ana friends I messaged with on AIM to support in fasting and to receive support from on fasting, giving my parents the slip, etc. I kept composition books on top of composition books that basically repeated everything I logged publicly on my Xanga. I went vegetarian and reached 105lbs in what I feel like now was quickly but then felt like complete ages. I tried going vegan then and, well, ended up drawing major attention from my parents after fainting one day. After that it was really hard for me to go any lower than 105lbs and really I never did but maintained between 105 and 115 on bad days throughout highschool.
College came and... Oh boy. I shot up to 130 in no time. My boyfriend at the time was like, "You should lose some weight" and it led to a bunch of fights, caused my work to suffer, I was stressed out of my mind with class and weight and fights and started seeing a therapist, money got super tight and I ended up leaving the boyfriend and college at the same time.
About a month or so later I met my now husband and he was/is amazing. I was depressed, he was depressed, we drank and stayed glued to each other and let everything in the world just melt away for months. Just vanished off the earth. We joke now about how we didnt meet each other until later when we both sobered up but during that hydrated time I dropped back down to 115ish and he had no issue with my weight so I didn't really care. I was like "Well, I can just start loosing again now that I am on my own when I want. He doesn't demand it and I don't have to hide it so I can relax for a bit."
We sobered. We married. We miscarried, and I went into a deep depression. Didn't know how I was going to ever climb out of that. I jumped up to the 150s and that made it worse. I mean, hated myself on a level I couldn't even articulate. Couldn't do the one thing my gender is capable of doing and couldn't even stand to look at myself in the mirror because I was disgusting. Thought, "Why would he ever try again with me?"
Well, eventually we did and succeeded and I was so scared to miscarry again I just sat. And ate. And hello 200lbs. I... Never thought I would ever, ever be at a weight that high. After I gave birth the weight didn't drop, but what did was my whole body. The stretch marks from my pregnancy are... They are still horrible (Freddy Krueger horrible) and it's been 4 years. My breasts are ruined. I was hit by PPD like a truck and fell ever lower than when I miscarried. When I say it's a miracle I survived some nights, it really is. The depression is much better now but sometimes I think my family just waited hoping on those really bad nights I would have just been motivated enough to stop burdening them. Anyway.
My daughter started school and it coincided with my depression turning around. I took out a loan and started going back to school. I feel amazing, I was a housewife for those 4 years with my daughter and it just seriously ate at everything I had in me. I love her but I wanted to be out there doing something. I'm just not housewife material, I respect those that are but I felt like a bird in a cage.
But, old habits die hard and guess who is back logging and tracking and measuring and journaling and keeping idle hands busy. This one. It really is a life long sickness, yeah? No matter if you put on the weight to hide it, you're still that insecure obsessive little girl with three separate compositon books with three different ways to log your disorder and make rules for yourself.
And what is sick is I feel so relaxed when I do. Like, it's such a stress relief for me to log and track everything. 34lbs down so far, hitting a wall this past week to break 165. Like... Just can't break it down. Maybe tomorrow. Goal weight is, as always and probably always will be, 100lbs. This time I think it's a bit more sentimental and motivational because it would literally be 100lbs lost. Like how great would that feel to achieve that? I get impatient thinking about it. :)
Anyway, that's me.
[Rant/Rave] I failed at restricting today. Fuck.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 31 20:24:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a0sos/i_failed_at_restricting_today_fuck/
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[removed]
[Goal] november goals?
/u/audreybelle_
Created: Tue Oct 31 19:52:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a0m5z/november_goals/
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what are everyone’s november goals? mine are to stay at or under 1,000 calories, and lose at least 8lbs.
[Other] How do other people eat normally?
/u/Glazed9000 [5'7' | 125 |]
Created: Tue Oct 31 19:16:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a0f04/how_do_other_people_eat_normally/
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I just want to be normal around food. I can't even remember what it was like to not count calories. I'm looking at pictures of my family eating normally together, while I'm in the bathroom throwing up after binging and eating out of the trashcan. Can I please go back in time to 4 years ago?
[Discussion] Hungrier after purge?
/u/Wood_Nymph [5'7 | CW:173 | GW:130 | Female | -37lbs ]
Created: Tue Oct 31 19:12:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a0eav/hungrier_after_purge/
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Does anyone else just get way hungrier after purging? I feel like a hungry hungry hippo,doesn't help it's Halloween and candy is on sale. Ugh
[Discussion] Finally going back to therapy tomorrow. Not sure how to feel
/u/autotrapqueen [5'7.5| CW 131.8 | 20.19 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 31 18:31:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a05n9/finally_going_back_to_therapy_tomorrow_not_sure/
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I'm excited but also terrified. Definitely been long overdue and I need to make some changes.
I'm just scared it'll end up like all my other attempts at getting help, where I can't get a sentence in without bursting into tears, I get too nervous to tell the whole story, or the worst which has happened a few times where they don't really take me seriously.
I really want to get back on meds. I have a ton of issues beyond just my ED. At my school's counseling center you have to see a counselor before/concurrently seeing a psychiatrist. Would it be reasonable to go in and say that I need meds to stabilize myself before I can really talk about my problems? Or will they not help me if I don't say enough?
I feel like I'm doing the best I can to cope without medicine but that it's still not enough, which is the gist of what I want to talk about. I don't want to come across as a pill seeker because I know that's not what the counselors job is.
At the same time though I'm also really scared of going on meds because of potential side effects (especially terrified of sleep meds, bad experiences with these), or them really not helping at all like in the past.
Anyways, any advice from people who are scared of therapy/had to go on meds for any reason?
[Other] Did anyone else purposely buy their favorite Halloween candy to "practice self-restraint?" I have almost 300 pieces of chocolate and candy and have had exactly 1 trick-or-treater so far
/u/placentagumbo [5'8" | CW 135 | GW 115 | UGW ?? | 26F]
Created: Tue Oct 31 18:20:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a03dz/did_anyone_else_purposely_buy_their_favorite/
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https://imgur.com/dsdhSeA
[Help] My therapist told me that she may have to force me to see a dietitian, can she do that?
/u/chitchatkitkat1
Created: Tue Oct 31 18:13:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a01ob/my_therapist_told_me_that_she_may_have_to_force/
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I'm 19 years old. I have been seeing her for a few months and have been working on my issues with trauma and to a lesser extent my eating disorder. I have been refusing to see a dietitian and right now I am still considered overweight. She told me today that if I keep losing weight at some point she may have to force me to see a dietitian. Can she actually do that? I know you can be forced into a hospital if you are really unstable, but can you be forced to see a dietitian?
hi
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 31 18:09:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7a00nw/hi/
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[deleted]
[Other] Maybe I'm seeing things
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 31 17:36:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79ztqt/maybe_im_seeing_things/
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[deleted]
[Other] Purposely bought all the candy and chocolate (except the banana laffy taffies because no, fuck that) I love to "practice self-restraint." why am I like this
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 31 17:35:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79ztm4/purposely_bought_all_the_candy_and_chocolate/
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https://i.redd.it/oclp3wrg39vz.jpg
[Other] "you sure got enough to drink there"
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1.5" | cw 154 | gw 145 | ugw 100 | -16]
Created: Tue Oct 31 17:03:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79zmfd/you_sure_got_enough_to_drink_there/
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So I use a grocery delivery service for a ton of different reasons. And it's awesome. My most recent order I guess was finally enough for this guy to say something. I got a bunch of coke zero, monster zero, distilled water, some flavored water, a bunch of broth, coconut water, 2 things of cashew milk, a gallon of apple cider (for my bf). I also got 6 pints of halo top (they are the only place I've found pumpkin pie flavor so I mainly made this order to buy 5 pints of that). I smoked weed right before he got here too so I was really stoned, and the minute he left I just started laughing about how ridiculous this grocery order was. Also featured: progresso light soups, laughing cow wedges, and pomegranates
[Rant/Rave] Messed up... Fast time.
/u/Bathoriel
Created: Tue Oct 31 16:17:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79zc5s/messed_up_fast_time/
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Went out tonight to avoid sitting at home alone getting bingey,
There was cake and sandwiches and sweets... No calorie counts and too hard to estimate.
I'm sure I should still be at a net negative for the day but the lack of control/certainty is making me itchy.
I can probably get away with fasting for ~46 hours if I try hard, to balance it out.
[Tip] Purging tips/precautions?
/u/3lectricscape
Created: Tue Oct 31 16:10:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79zani/purging_tipsprecautions/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] hey so im screwed up: im afraid of fat people
/u/throwawayaghsjrkrurn
Created: Tue Oct 31 15:48:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79z5cx/hey_so_im_screwed_up_im_afraid_of_fat_people/
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ive had an ed for 7 years now (anorexia b/p)
im afraid of fat people. im almost afraid that fat is contagious. the idea of excess body fat honestly disgusts me.
i think i dont have overweight friends because of this??
not to mention fat people are usually the first to accuse a skinny girl of having an ed hah. in high school one girl constantly harassed me about being underweight calling it disgusting and saying that at least she had a normal bmi and was healthy. (Probably verging on overweight tbh) another girl made up a rumor that my friend and i had made an anorexia pact to lose weight (wtfff!!!)
wondering if anyone can relate
EDIT: i understand that its completely ridiculous to think being around fat people will make me fat, but i think im afraid of accepting or normalizing fat in my brain, or picking up binging habits
[Other] i’m coming home for the weekend thursday and my mom sent me this. OH SHIT please be gone by the time i get home...
/u/band-aide [5'6 | CW: 123 | HW: 140 | LW: 90 | F/18]
Created: Tue Oct 31 15:30:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79z13w/im_coming_home_for_the_weekend_thursday_and_my/
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https://i.redd.it/7bs9sstmh8vz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Binge day...but who cares?
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 63 kg | BMI: 23.4 | -20.5 kg | 21F]
Created: Tue Oct 31 14:58:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79yt8t/binge_daybut_who_cares/
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Today I ate "normal" aka too much. I didn't even count the calories but I know it's above my TDEE. I mean...chocolate milk in the morning, eggs with ham for lunch, 1 mars stick, 1 granola bar, small steak with baked potatoe for dinner...but I don't even care? I mean..I've been stuck on 63kg since the beginning if october, and hurt all over from my gallstones so....fuck it? I either gain a pound or just triggered a swoosh...or worst case: I'll just stay where I am. I mean, my scale today said 63.9kg but that's just water (on saturday I was still 63.0kg and didn't eat until today). I'm really tired of this shit and just want to be my GW already! Anyway, I'll just start restricting again tomorrow. Hope your october was more fun than mine.
Update: I'm up to 64.7kg now wtf? Id that actual weight? I don't know if I find that devastationg or hilarious.
[Other] Successfully bought something gross enough for my trick-or-treaters that there's no way I can binge on it :')
/u/dbt-girl
Created: Tue Oct 31 14:47:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79yqj9/successfully_bought_something_gross_enough_for_my/
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https://i.redd.it/z4n28ekw98vz.jpg
[Other] Happy Halloween everyone!!
/u/letmebelittle [5'7" | CW: 122.8 lbs | BMI: 19.2 | WL: 87 lbs | Female]
Created: Tue Oct 31 14:38:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79yobs/happy_halloween_everyone/
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Just posting to wish everyone a happy and safe Halloween! I hope everyone has a good day and a terrifying night! Good luck ♡♡♡
[Rant/Rave] A Halloween miracle
/u/lowandbehole
Created: Tue Oct 31 14:33:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79yn06/a_halloween_miracle/
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Guys I feel sick after eating sweets that I bought for trick or treaters (bound to happen). Just looked at the calorie content and the mini bags are actually super low calorie rowntree randoms bag are only 50 calories mini bag of chocolate m&ms only 60 what the hell how am I only discovering this . Any other surprisingly low calorie discoveries ?
Just purged...here we go again
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 31 13:54:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79yd2a/just_purgedhere_we_go_again/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Drinking
/u/sugarfreeicetea [5'7?|-22?|18F]
Created: Tue Oct 31 13:36:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79y8li/drinking/
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I was drinking last night and someone else bought the booze.
They didn't have the calories on the can so this morning I googled it and saw that the one can I drank was 600 calories.
Scream
[Discussion] On average, how much do you "gain" before your period?
/u/litlbito-everything
Created: Tue Oct 31 13:36:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79y8ld/on_average_how_much_do_you_gain_before_your_period/
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My period is due in a day or two.. last Friday I was 1.3 lbs away from my goal and I have literally ate almost nothing for days and now the scale is saying I'm OVER 5lbs more.
The last time I restricted this heavy, I was on birth control that kept me from having a period so this is kind of new for me. I'm just wondering if this is normal and how much everyone else "gains". Usually this would trigger a huge binge that'd last days. Trying hard not to be let it get to me.
[Discussion] DAE: Lose weight faster than expected?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 31 13:29:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79y6qw/dae_lose_weight_faster_than_expected/
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[deleted]
[Goal] Anyone done a juice cleanse before?
/u/decima205 [5'6" | SW: 150 | CW: 144 | GW: 130 | UGW: 105]
Created: Tue Oct 31 13:18:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79y43s/anyone_done_a_juice_cleanse_before/
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[removed]
[Discussion] does anyone else take purposefully unflattering pictures of themselves to trigger themselves into not eating?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18| f | 22]
Created: Tue Oct 31 12:58:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79xyq8/does_anyone_else_take_purposefully_unflattering/
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i sometimes take pictures of my face at terrible angles (like from underneath, looking straight up) that make me look fat and ugly so that i can trigger myself into not eating. i just ate around 500 calories this morning because i'm disgusting, and immediately took really unflattering pictures of my face to prove to myself that i'm fat and don't deserve to eat. anytime i do, my face gets extremely bloated and gross. here's to fasting until tomorrow evening (or thursday afternoon, if i can).
[Help] How do you pass the days?
/u/vitalogy95
Created: Tue Oct 31 12:46:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79xvme/how_do_you_pass_the_days/
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I have such a long way to go which means so many days of little energy and feeling hungry constantly.
When i start restricting it’s usually easy to keep going, but knowing how far I have to go is still really daunting. I don’t have a lot on my plate right now which is actually a bad thing when I’m trying to restrict because I tend to eat a lot when I’m bored.
How Can I keep my eye on my goal while being so bored?
[Rant/Rave] lmao way to have self control
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18| f | 22]
Created: Tue Oct 31 12:23:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79xptm/lmao_way_to_have_self_control/
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went to bed hungry last night, woke up and immediately ate probably 1/2 cup of granola and greek yogurt (guessing 200 or 300 calories) and felt like my stomach and thighs got visibly bigger and more disgusting from that alone (ty body dysmorphia wow). i missed my first class, and had planned to take a bus to campus at 12:05 to make it to my 1:00 class. and then i realized that my class—that i've been in for 2 months now—*ends* at one and starts at 11:30. and it's 11:21 now so i'm definitely going to miss it. i haven't missed one of these classes all semester. fuck. i'm such a failure and a fuckup. it's my seminar class of 15 people, too, so it'll be obvious that i'm not there. i emailed my professor but still. i don't deserve to eat lmao at least being a fucking academic failure is good for one thing!
[Discussion] Do you ever start binging and get pissed that you couldn't binge more?
/u/luxklepto
Created: Tue Oct 31 12:14:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79xnil/do_you_ever_start_binging_and_get_pissed_that_you/
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It's like, if I'm binging, I wanna have all this food. I get so mad when I can't even finish half a quesadilla. I'm so annoyed actually.
[Help] Can someone talk some sense into me to not binge
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 31 12:10:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79xmeb/can_someone_talk_some_sense_into_me_to_not_binge/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] BMI
/u/shortyaten
Created: Tue Oct 31 12:03:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79xkom/bmi/
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[removed]
[Other] I have more than $300 worth of protein bars in my checkout :))))
/u/flightlesspotato [166cm | 20.3]
Created: Tue Oct 31 11:52:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79xhx5/i_have_more_than_300_worth_of_protein_bars_in_my/
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I'm the kind who gets obsessed over something easily, and like all of us here, I tend to go overboard when I'm doing something.
So recently, I decided to get back into restricting but I didn't want to repeat the mistake of losing a lot of hair due to a lack of protein and iron. Cue me scouring iherb for all the protein bars they sell and now I have $300+ worth of bars in my cart. There's no way I'm buying all of it of course, but once I had hit that number I went back to look at my cart I realised how ridiculous this whole situation is. Just something I wanted to share because I can't be the only one who does things like this right oh god
[Goal] BMI is finally below 20 again my dudes!
/u/TheThirdCloneOfXyxl
Created: Tue Oct 31 11:43:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79xfhk/bmi_is_finally_below_20_again_my_dudes/
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Was gonna binge tonight but that was the kick in the ass I needed to keep on restricting. Happy Halloween y'all!
[Help] Longest plat ever?
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 19bmi | -140 | 30F | AU]
Created: Tue Oct 31 11:40:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79xeu3/longest_plat_ever/
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I’m so depressed over this. Up down a few, like 5 pounds for now 2 MONTHS. I’ve never had such an absurd plat. I’ve tried switching up what I eat, eating a bit more for a few days to boost my metabolism, exercising as much as I can (I have a severe back injury and my yoga mat is awful)
Anyway. 2 months? The fuck? I hit my LW, and haven’t seen it since because I’m going around 4-5 lbs. it’s so depressing. I just... can’t.. my husband won’t let me fast either when I used to every other week or so for 3 or more days.
It’s hard to even weigh myself even though it is such a ritualistic process because I’m just scared.
Nothing gives me as much joy as watching the number on that scale creep down. It makes it all worth it.
/u/panda1901
Created: Tue Oct 31 10:18:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79wtxb/nothing_gives_me_as_much_joy_as_watching_the/
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[removed]
[Other] Inspired by other posts, I made a fasting tracker to make it through Halloween
/u/HungryBunnyXXL
Created: Tue Oct 31 10:12:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79wsc9/inspired_by_other_posts_i_made_a_fasting_tracker/
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https://i.imgur.com/VUfcIxl.jpg
[Help] How to schedule out fasting/restricting limits
/u/OCDpurgingrestrict
Created: Tue Oct 31 10:02:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79wpuf/how_to_schedule_out_fastingrestricting_limits/
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[removed]
[Help] Carbs?? I don't understand¿?
/u/napalmlife_ [5'6" | 104 | 16.78 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 31 10:02:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79wpp3/carbs_i_dont_understand/
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Ok this is a totally dumb question but why do people hate carbs so much? Is it bc they are generally high in calories? Do they turn into fat regardless of CICO? I need to know.....
[Discussion] DAE schedule a "binge" day?
/u/ThisIsGumpy [Height 5'1| CW 112| GW 100]
Created: Tue Oct 31 09:29:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79whrr/dae_schedule_a_binge_day/
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Every weekend I have to go home from campus to work my weekend job. I have to eat at least 2 meals a day and a snack so my family doesn't worry. Friday I eat only dinner and stay on target and Sunday I can just go back to campus after work and stay on target, but Saturday I have to stay at home.
However, Saturday I am at home for two meals so I just schedule it as a "binge" day.
As long as its at or ONLY 200 above maintenance I allow myself to have all of the foods I have been craving all week.
It has actually helped me stay on target longer because I can just tell myself "You'll get it Saturday."
Plus, I love making lists of crave foods.
Anyone else??
[Help] Serious Health Question
/u/kvikerdragen [5'6.5" | 21F | CW 117.0 | GW 111 | HW 182]
Created: Tue Oct 31 09:10:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79wd4v/serious_health_question/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Wish me luck for a birthday party...
/u/carlems [5'2| CW: 101,8 | GW: 97 | -19]
Created: Tue Oct 31 08:00:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79vwn9/wish_me_luck_for_a_birthday_party/
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So. I ended my fast today at lunch because I felt really nauseous, but eating for the first time after 40-ish hours made me crave food more than ever. I've managed not to binge for now, but in a couple of hours will begin my little sister's birthday party and there's going to be lots. of. trigger food. For example, my mom sent a picture yesterday of her baking a mud cake, my ultimate favourite type of cake!!
Anyway, I had planned to fast today so I would have motivation to convince myself not to eat any stuff during the party (bc that would just end up with me binging, yay). Now, however, as I broke the fast and still feel like I want to eat EVERYTHING, it's going to take looots of strength to get through this day with no binging... so wish me luck, gonna need it today. (And sorry for the quite meaningless rant, hopefully you all are having a good day✨)
HAPPY HALLOWEEN proED! I'm high as a kite at work and binging like there's no tomorrow. How's your Halloween going?
/u/yesyeshihello [157cm | CW: 42.4kg | BMI: 17.2 | 27F]
Created: Tue Oct 31 07:29:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79vq5w/happy_halloween_proed_im_high_as_a_kite_at_work/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79vq5w/happy_halloween_proed_im_high_as_a_kite_at_work/
[Goal] It's almost November
/u/hypotheticalfox [5'7"🔹CW:140lb🔹GW:123lb🔹UGW:118lb🔹BMI:20.29🔹F]
Created: Tue Oct 31 07:27:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79vpjv/its_almost_november/
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I'm going for a no-binge November. Anyone else want to join?
Currently I keep messing up my progress with weekly binges. Last night it was really bad. I ate like 5000 calories yesterday and I feel fcking sick.
I might overeat a little (especially if Thanksgiving turns out to be a struggle we'll see) but for November I'm swearing off junk food and shamefully going to the store at night to binge on junk food. I keep doing so well and getting rid of the first ten pounds (which usually include a lot of bloat too) then messing it all up. I'm no closer to my end of the year GW than I was at the beginning of this month because of all the cycling and I am LOSING MY MIND. I just want to tear my body off like an uncomfortable piece of clothing.
[Goal] Today is a restrict/fast day for me.
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Tue Oct 31 06:48:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79vhuf/today_is_a_restrictfast_day_for_me/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Meditation retreats
/u/dotprinceton [5'3" | CW 102.6lb | BMI 18.68 | GW 92lb | 36F]
Created: Tue Oct 31 06:34:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79vf75/meditation_retreats/
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https://www.dhamma.org/en-US/index
[Help] Does anyone take lorazepam + ephedrine?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 31 06:25:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79vdf0/does_anyone_take_lorazepam_ephedrine/
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[deleted]
How to get back in the mindset?
/u/dotprinceton [5'3" | CW 102.6lb | BMI 18.68 | GW 92lb | 36F]
Created: Tue Oct 31 06:20:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79vcgl/how_to_get_back_in_the_mindset/
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[removed]
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday October 31, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Oct 31 06:10:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79var9/thinspo_tuesday_october_31_2017/
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Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 31, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Oct 31 06:10:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79vaqb/daily_food_diary_october_31_2017/
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This is a daily food diary thread for October 31, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] How to stop a loud stomach!?
/u/Backtotheidk
Created: Tue Oct 31 05:08:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79v0eq/how_to_stop_a_loud_stomach/
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How do you keep your stomach from rumbling? Its soooo loud in class, I die every time! Any tips is appreciated
[Rant/Rave] Set off by a door frame... Feeling ridiculous
/u/Bathoriel
Created: Tue Oct 31 05:02:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79uzcn/set_off_by_a_door_frame_feeling_ridiculous/
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I tried to squeeze by someone at work and hit my shoulder/side against the door frame even though the gap looked big enough so now I'm thinking wtf, I must be actually *bigger* than I already feel/look to myself.
Like, realistically I know that my spacial awareness isn't great because I'm a bit light headed but *what if though*.
[Other] R/ProED Discord server (group chat)
/u/fuckthislol [173cm|gaining|recovery]
Created: Tue Oct 31 04:41:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79uw6j/rproed_discord_server_group_chat/
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Hey guys, just throwing out a quick reminder/promo post that our sub has it's own discord server! There's a link in the side bar, but I know not everyone on mobile can always view it easily!
Come join us for support, rants, or even just to chat shit about pretty much anything and everything. We have people from time zones all over the world, and we're all a super friendly bunch :)
If you're on mobile you might have to download the app, but it's pretty small, and super easy to use!
The only requirement is you have to be a (ish) active user of the sub to join.
I hope to see a bunch more of you lovely people there soon! 😘😘😁
https://discord.gg/TYugydg
[Rant/Rave] Flabby stomach
/u/PM_ME_GOOD_FILMS
Created: Tue Oct 31 03:59:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79uq5u/flabby_stomach/
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I hate my stomach. It's a huge insecurity of mine and it's been shrinking ever since I've been losing weight by binging and restricting below 500 kcal. I'm now at such a low BMI that you'd think it would look good and it just doesn't. So fucking frustrating. It's still flabby and unattractive. It grosses me out how fucking ugly it looks.
[Tip] My post first week review of the FODMAP diet!
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 102.9 | 18.8 | -34 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 31 03:29:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79umfb/my_post_first_week_review_of_the_fodmap_diet/
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Jesus christ guys. I feel amazing. If any of you are experiencing stomach upset, seriously, try it out. Within 12 hours I went from writhing in constant pain to feeling 80% better. 24 hours out, I was 100% better. Its also made it so much easier to restrict. Bread slices are tiny, all I can eat are fruits and vegetables, I can only have one banana a day so I won't be tempted to have more in the afternoon. My cal intake is so limited just by the rules of the diet, and I'm not even tempted to go back because I don't want to the pain to start again. I highly recommend it to everyone!!!
[Rant/Rave] If you have super rapid weight gain, please get checked out!
/u/floweredfox [5'1" | 2fat | F]
Created: Tue Oct 31 02:09:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79ucpn/if_you_have_super_rapid_weight_gain_please_get/
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So I went from super restrictive to semi-bingey diet in around july. I then managed to gain 20lbs in 3 months where my binges were maybe 2 or 3x a week and prob no more than 1500cals each. Even as I started to restrict again I could eat ~800cals a day and not. lose. an. ounce. About a month ago I started to get kinda tired all the time, so I got my ass to the doctor.
guess what! it looks like I have fucking hypothyroid! my body is literally conspiring against me to gain weight. well hopefully now I can get it under control and shed all of that shit asap.
[Rant/Rave] Nonstop worshipping of the porcelain god
/u/grave_stoned [6'1" / F / CW: 161 / GW: 140 / -86]
Created: Tue Oct 31 01:36:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79u8ne/nonstop_worshipping_of_the_porcelain_god/
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I guess this is just a rant.
Most of my days have been going well, restricting has been pretty alright for the past few weeks, but every once in a while I'll have a day where no matter what I do, I can't keep myself from purging everything I eat. Not even really a binge/purge. Just purge. Plate of veggies? Toilet. Soup broth? Toilet. 0cal flavored water? Toilet. Just over and over again, all because my roommates are out of the house and I can. I can't even keep my vitamins down.
The thing is, I know I wouldn't keep doing it if I just let some of the food stay in me, but I can't stop. I'm weak and shaky, but for some reason, purging feels like a "fuck you" to my body and a "fuck you" to food, and it feels so, so good. I'm not even big on purging really, I restrict most of the time. Just one of those days where it just feels really *nice*. EDs are fucked up lmao.
[Other] The time my fat ass caused me to lose my friends.
/u/lovelyannie [5’2” | 167 | 30.6 | -20lbs | Female]
Created: Tue Oct 31 00:52:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79u32m/the_time_my_fat_ass_caused_me_to_lose_my_friends/
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Flagged as other because idk what this is. Story time I guess?
How many of y’all remember when Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants was popular? For those of you who don’t know, the book is a revolving POV. The main characters are Tibby (the average one), Lena (the skinny one), Bridget (the athletic one), and Carmen (the voluptuous one). They find this pair of pants in a thrift store or something, and it somehow manages to fit all of them. They then spend the summer mailing the pants around the world to each other on their respective vacations.
I was in grade 6 (2006) when this series reached its peak in popularity. One day, my friend was on one of those ride-on kid things on the big springs in the park at school, and her pants ripped. Not the butt, but the leg, around the knee. For some reason everyone (all 5 of us) thought it would be a great idea to pile into the handicapped stall and see if the pants fit everyone.
They fit everyone...except me. I couldn’t get them over my thighs. I wasn’t even that big! Maybe 113lbs at 5’2, since I did 4 hours of dance and 2-10 hours of softball every week (depended on the time of year - winter clinics or regular games/practices) plus gym class every day? But I’d never felt so fat and ugly.
From that day on, everyone slowly pushed me out of the group. They found any reason they could to not invite me to the mall, or to someone’s house for lunch, and even quickly forming groups for projects before I could get there.
And that’s the story of how my fat ass was literally the reason why I lost all of my friends.
[Rant/Rave] complaining
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 31 00:42:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79u1n6/complaining/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Does anyone use their crushes as a motivation to restrict?
/u/LivelyGhost [5'6" | CW: 141 | GW: 111 | -23 lbs]
Created: Tue Oct 31 00:03:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79twi1/does_anyone_use_their_crushes_as_a_motivation_to/
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I hate this, it's like I'm wanting for a mix of validation and just his attention. I want to lose fast enough that he'll get worried but also think of me more. I'm not even sure if he thinks I'm good looking now, every time we catch eyes, there's a small voice in the back of my head being telling me he thinks I'm the most annoying damn thing to ever exist and that I'm a horrible whale. I hate this so much. But then I keep not restricting enough, I'll eat up to 1000 calories or near it and I just wonder why I am the way I am. Maybe he'd be more eager to talk to me if I was thinner and thus looked better.
But then I get logical and realize he's 23 and I'm 19, i only see him three to four days a week max. For the past three weeks that is. Hell, he probably doesn't know my name because I haven't introduced myself. And then the self-hatred piles on stronger. I'm probably too loud, too weird, too young. He might be dating someone, who knows. I just need to restrict more is all.
[Help] quitting caffeine...halp
/u/silverkel
Created: Mon Oct 30 23:49:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79tue0/quitting_caffeinehalp/
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I'm at a bit over a week no caffeine and man am I eating a ton. I'm really worried that all the progress I made will be for nothing as I eat my way back to flub. Does anyone fast/restrict without the help of caffeine? Do you have any pointers/alternatives?
[Discussion] Are there any subs where we can post photos of ourselves/progress as thinspo?
/u/HoneyMia [5'7" F | CW 128 | GW 115 | 55 lbs lost]
Created: Mon Oct 30 23:46:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79ttyc/are_there_any_subs_where_we_can_post_photos_of/
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Or would anyone be interested in it? It would be different from “progresspics” since we’re all going through similar things.
[Discussion] Does anyone know how websites get celebrity measurements?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: who knows? | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 30 23:24:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79tqei/does_anyone_know_how_websites_get_celebrity/
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Like, the websites that come up when you google "[insert celebrity name here] measurements"? I'm trying to get a sense of how accurate they are since I compare against them a lot to try and get a sense of how I look to other people. I'm also curious because sometimes they seem plausible and other times it seems like there's no way it's right, but it's on all the websites.
[Intro] New Here
/u/ThinningEllie [5'4 | 200 | 34.3 | 30lbs | Female]
Created: Mon Oct 30 23:08:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79tnuq/new_here/
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I'm new to the subreddit. Been struggling lately friends don't know I'm restricting again. I gained a lot from a medication I was on.
[Thinspo] stunning
/u/squishykiss
Created: Mon Oct 30 22:44:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79tk1h/stunning/
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https://i.redd.it/t0i92du6i3vz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I'M GOING INSANE
/u/IdPopACapinSancho
Created: Mon Oct 30 22:40:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79tjbt/im_going_insane/
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Just need to vent. I've been doing so well. Counting my calories, keeping a great deficit.
Today it all fell apart. I ate an entire box of dumplings and a whole HUGE bag of chips.
I fucking hate that I can't just eat like a normal person. I can't just have a few chips I have to eat the whole god damn bag.
I've been on and off the scale all day. It hasn't changed, but I'm just expecting it to shoot back up to where it was before I start losing. Of course that's impossible, but my mind just won't stop.
I'm eating lollipops to try and stop myself from eating anything more dangerous.
I just had to get that off my chest. Feels a little better already.
[Rant/Rave] ‘Bulimic potion’
/u/heypunkimbenji
Created: Mon Oct 30 22:37:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79tixo/bulimic_potion/
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This weekend I went camping and a friend who had surgery in his esophagus got a piece of steak stuck in his throat and was struggling to vomit it up. He said this happens a lot and he gets really sick and can’t eat from it.
So I told him oil of oregano, an essential oil, that is dubbed natures natural antibiotic, was really strong. I told him I took it when I had sore throats but it always made me heave and vomit.
I gave him some because I had it in my purse and he hurled. He told me that this was my magic bulimic potion and it was how I stayed so ‘thin’, whatever that means.
Ahhh it made me so weird cause everyone was joking about bulimia and ED’s and I instantly felt alienated and out of place and everyone thought I was being weird. It makes me sad. Especially since they joke about something so personal to me. I tried to play it cool though. Anything similar to this happen to anyone else here?
[Discussion] hey everyone i'm so scared of halloween pls come bc scared with me :((((
/u/seawardwaves [5'8" | cw~128 gw~115]
Created: Mon Oct 30 21:55:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79tb4a/hey_everyone_im_so_scared_of_halloween_pls_come/
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ugh. apparently my family is having a big party at our house tomorrow with all these neighborhood people, and there's gonna be pizza and a shit ton of candy and pastries and other desserts.
on the one hand i doubt anyone's gonna notice if i don't eat.
on the other hand it's gonna be fucking impossible to not eat and i just barely recovered from a binge ugh hopefully i can just eat normally and maybe call it maintenanceeeeee
tell me all your halloween plans and strategies and any other thoughts! you all are amazing, i figure i can't be the only one here freaking out about this :)
edit ~ should say 'be' in the title, rip
[Help] need proana support
/u/sheetghost00
Created: Mon Oct 30 21:14:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79t2sq/need_proana_support/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Doing a Barista course for the coffee
/u/Amoosedcow
Created: Mon Oct 30 21:14:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79t2n2/doing_a_barista_course_for_the_coffee/
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I'm literally doing a 4 day Barista course just because my broke ass can't actually afford coffee and I feel like a fraud. I already know how to make every coffee but the course is completely subsidised for me so why the fuck not.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
[Help] i need an ana buddy asap
/u/sheetghost00
Created: Mon Oct 30 21:03:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79t0cn/i_need_an_ana_buddy_asap/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Just discovered I physically cannot eat ANYTHING
/u/Lady-Lizzy
Created: Mon Oct 30 21:01:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79t022/just_discovered_i_physically_cannot_eat_anything/
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I got lingual (behind teeth) braces applied yesterday. I was told I can only eat very soft food.
*However,* I just attempted that and realised my back teeth... Don't touch at all! I physically cannot chew!
So I get to have soup three times a day for the next year. It'll be *literally impossible* to hit maintenance calories without chugging oil.
**THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE**
Edit: It's totally normal, **these are not the same as normal braces dudes.** These braces fuck your whole existence for a while and it's expected.
[Rant/Rave] Feelz bad guys
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 151.5 | GW: 118 | -15.3 | F24]
Created: Mon Oct 30 20:09:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79sohl/feelz_bad_guys/
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I met one of my bfs friends who's been having trouble dating and mentioned maybe I could set him up with my sister before actually checking to see if she was single (shes not). Now that I've gotten to know him better, he's not the kind of guy I really *want* to set my sister up with (he's pretty sexist although he's not a bad person in general).
Okay where weight comes in. He knows what she looks like and thinks she's really attractive. That's fine, she is. He also shows me all these photos of the girls he thinks are attractive on tinder. You know what's stupid?!?!? I have an amazing boyfriend who is actively discouraging me from losing weight because he loves me as I am, and I'm not attracted to this dude in any way. But with each pic he sends me or describes a girl he likes....it feels almost like a personal insult on my looks? Even though it's not meant to be. I feel so disgusting and discouraged and ugh, even though I've lost 17 pounds in like 2.5 freaking months! And I've had plenty of dudes into me! I just....i don't know guys. Just feeling really gross and down right now so yeah. Random post is random
[Other] I’ve never felt so judged by snack food.
/u/Festive-Deer
Created: Mon Oct 30 19:49:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79sjx9/ive_never_felt_so_judged_by_snack_food/
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https://i.redd.it/pj8zv0f0n2vz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] TDEE Calculator Is Spot On
/u/Shh_its_not_me_yo [5'7 | CW: 126.6 | SW: 170 | GW: Less | Gender: F]
Created: Mon Oct 30 19:49:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79sjtv/tdee_calculator_is_spot_on/
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So, I have been very diligent in putting all calories in a spreadsheet, and also documenting my weight in skinnyr.com, so I can view the graphs and overall trends. I also document my workouts/ miles run.
For the past three months, I have basically plateaued. I've also had more binge days, which really adds up, because I high restrict to begin with. Ugh.
But I crunched all the numbers and found that my TDEE, with my workouts is right at 1865 calories a day (sedentary job, and laziness outside of working out). I'm actually really excited about this, because I now have something substantial and hopefully it will connect with my brain exactly the deficit I need to be!
And for what it is worth, the TDEE that my calculations showed is the EXACT same as the Harris-Benedict on Sailrabbit.com.
That is all. I just got super excited, and a little relieved, because it is now so obviously controllable!
[Rant/Rave] This size discrepancy. This mother. effing. size discrepancy.
/u/dbt-girl
Created: Mon Oct 30 19:20:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79sdc6/this_size_discrepancy_this_mother_effing_size/
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[Photo.](https://imgur.com/a/NQvdf) (underroos)
What the fuck.
My boyfriend told me I need to stop buying size L bottoms from VS. I don't like the band giving any semblance of a muffin top, so yes... I buy L specifically to avoid any chance of the band cutting into me. However, I bowed to his wishes... and I'm trying out some M's.
THESE PANTIES AREN'T EVEN REMOTELY THE SAME SIZE AND I'M TERRIFIED OF THE PINK ONES, OK?
ALSO WHY AM I A SIZE 2 IN AMERICAN EAGLE SHORTS AND A SIZE 7 IN LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE.
Ugh. End rant.
[Discussion] I told my parents about my eating disorder
/u/bigfaninasmallworld [5 feet 🍰 | CW: 88 lbs | GW: 100 lbs | UGW: 98 lbs | 20 F 🍒 |]
Created: Mon Oct 30 19:13:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79sbo2/i_told_my_parents_about_my_eating_disorder/
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Im still living at home and I musterd uo the courage to tell them. They were actually kinda understanding at first, but they kept asking if I've eaten. I don't want to recover yet, and I normally just lie about it. But to make sure they stop, i started eating regularly, and felt absolutely miserable. They stopped asking me since they saw me eat,they've stopped bringing it up and I think they think everything's back to normal. So I've started starving again. Why am I the way that I am?
So anyone who know others that know about their ED how do you go about it with minimal worry?
[Rant/Rave] Fasting is the easy part.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 30 19:06:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79sa9p/fasting_is_the_easy_part/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] We just discussed ED in my abnormal psych class. The professor even showed us pro-ana blogs...
/u/for-your-pleasure [5'3" | CW118ish | GW99 | AFAB/they]
Created: Mon Oct 30 18:59:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79s8e6/we_just_discussed_ed_in_my_abnormal_psych_class/
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It was so bad. I was so uncomfortable I thought I was going to throw up. I was blown away she showed us the pro-ana blogs and even went through one of those "how to give yourself anorexia" diets with us.
I felt like everyone was watching me the whole time, even though I know I'm just paranoid and they probably weren't and have no idea I have an ED. Three students had to go to the front of the room to present a case study on it and it felt like they were trying to make eye contact with me the entire time.
My self consciousness is through the roof right now. I haven't purged in years but I have a feeling I'm going to do a solid b/p session tonight when I get home...
[Rant/Rave] Holy shit my other room mates is a piece of shit too
/u/Anorexibulemanemia [Height 5'7"| CW: FAT-HUNDRED LBS | GW 100 | 20M]
Created: Mon Oct 30 18:52:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79s6zw/holy_shit_my_other_room_mates_is_a_piece_of_shit/
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You may have read my post in the past about my room mate that tries to take the things that you like and make it the thing that he loves. I thought he was the biggest proponent of finding less enjoyment in my ED...but I was wrong. For you see, lovelies, I have a second room mate with whom I am much closer, usually. Just for context, she is tall, very thin, and has a perfectly symmetrical face. She complains about this every once in a while. I don't understand how someone can complain about effortlessly embodying the qualities that I see other women harm themselves to half embody. Anyways, she and I have been arguing a lot lately. She gets frustrated when our other room mate argues with her about stuff that he knows nothing about. I understand that all too well, especially as of recently. Lately, she's been talking about going to the gym again. She used to in high school, but super infrequently. She opened a membership last month and sorta forgot about it till last week. Last week there were four different days that she mentioned that she wants to start going to the gym again, mind you, these four instances were in perfect windows of time for her to actually go, which I encouraged her to do, but she kept making excuses not to. Whatever, it's her life. She works long hours the majority of the week at her job, so it's understandable that she doesn't have a ton of time on her hands. Last week she went for the first time and I was supportive and congratulating. The next day she was pestering me and intentionally irritating me and her reason was that she has an excess of energy and she doesn't know what to do with it. I told her she should go to the gym (between depression and restricting, I would kill for that energy) and she said she didn't want to "overtrain" and hurt herself. I told her that going two days in a row (and exercising very lightly for very little time, as is her style) is not overtraining. She knew me before my dramatic weight loss and exercise initiative and she knows that I did a great deal of research on the matter of nutrition and fitness. So its safe to say that I know what the fuck I'm talking about. She said I was wrong, knowing full well that she doesn't know dick about exercise, and that I was acting like a "gym rat". 90% of my gym time is cardio, so I don't really embody that meat head image. I told her that she could burn her extra energy by doing some cardio. She got super self-superior and told me that I don't know what I'm talking about and that she took a chemistry class (wow guess what asshole I'm taking nutrition and fitness based biology and you fucking know it). That interaction happened twice over two days and I've just been avoiding her lately. Today, though, she really pissed me off. She was in the kitchen and I brought up that I've had back to back shit to do today and I was really tired. Apropos of nothing, she said "well I can't gain weight". Okay first of all fuck you. Second of all I know this is a mind game to get me riled up and frustrated. It's true though. Allegedly. I asked her what she eats and how much and she was somewhat dodgy when it came to stuff I would know was a lie, but she has always been razor thin and eaten everything she wants without stressing at all. She can eat a chili dog faster than a starving wolf. I've seen it. I think she is lying about trying to gain weight, but still, she just can't gain weight. Whatever good for her, but here's the close of this psycho, long-winded, conspiratorial rant about my room mates (I'm really sorry about all this I just need to let it out so I don't explode). When I finally got abs, I posted a silly photo on Instagram revealing to all of the world that I wasn't a fat kid anymore and she told me that it made her physically ill and that I should take it down because it's gross. She loves to accuse me of fat shaming people with zero evidence (I talk about hating my family but it's never BECAUSE they are fat). She has accused me of having anorexia before just randomly out of the blue. This pattern of behavior is what makes me think she's playing mind games. She knew that it would upset me, I've seen how she thinks and acts and she gets off on making people hate themselves by pointing out her own qualities that you can't achieve. It's gotten me really down about being unable to scrape myself out of bed and work out and stop binging every night. But I will not be out-psychologically-manipulated in my own home! So to her, I say bring it on you buckets of sacks of shit. You wanna dance with the devil? Because if there's one thing I hate more than myself, it's people that actively seek trouble with me. I haven't decided how I'm gonna get back yet, but I've been seeking motivation to burn off all of this binge fat and I think I can use this seething hate to restrict so much that I weigh less than her. She's about 115lbs and I'm 120 (haven't weighed since binge cycle so probably about 1000 more but I'll get that figured out). I'm gonna take away her "I don't weigh enough and I can't gain weight boo hoo" power by raising her a "well I weigh less than you and I'm mostly muscle mass which weighs more so get fucked, you wretched harpy".
END OF RANT
I'm really sorry to explode and waste your brain cells but I needed to think this problem out so I don't die of gritting my teeth to death. I hope you all have a wonderful week and a safe Halloween tomorrow 👻
[Rant/Rave] I don’t have enough self control.
/u/panda1901
Created: Mon Oct 30 18:35:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79s31u/i_dont_have_enough_self_control/
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I’ve been fasting and ended up getting the flu, and my mom brought me chicken noodle soup and medicine. But she also brought Oreos for “when I’m feeling better” because I used to love them. My roommates are home so I can’t throw them out, plus I feel bad because it was sweet that she brought them, but they have consumed my thoughts since she brought them 12 hours ago. I can’t help thinking about how good just one would taste, but I know for a fact I won’t stop at one. I’d eat the entire pack; I haven’t had them in so long and I was on my third day of my fast when I got sick so I’m extremely hungry.
[Rant/Rave] What the fuck why did I eat that
/u/bokoblin-buddy
Created: Mon Oct 30 18:33:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79s2gn/what_the_fuck_why_did_i_eat_that/
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I have lost 7 lbs in the past half a week and today I didn't eat at all and found a way to excuse not eating dinner. Then my dumbass decided to go to fucking chick-fil-a and get a spicy sandwich and a medium fry. It was 850 fucking calories and logically I know I'm not going to gain weight but fuck it feels like it.
[Help] How big are your calves?
/u/lavenderbruises [5'9"|CW 110| GW 100| BMI 16| 19F]
Created: Mon Oct 30 18:08:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79rwpk/how_big_are_your_calves/
---
And whats your height/weight?
Im 5’9 and mine are 14 inches at the widest! They look so muscular and soooo disproportionate to the rest of my body. I hate them and they’re the reason I’m here in the first place.
Im wondering if other girls share the same problem. I’ve lost about 8 pounds in a month and yet my calf measurements have not budged a tiny bit, meanwhile my thighs are getting smaller.
When did you guys start seeing calf loss? I’m really sad.
[Rant/Rave] I'm getting back on track tomorrow
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 111 | GW: 105 | M/15]
Created: Mon Oct 30 18:01:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79rv8y/im_getting_back_on_track_tomorrow/
---
I've been binging for like 2 weeks straight now, I'm getting back on track starting tomorrow no matter what, I don't care what I have to do but I'm eating less than 1000 calories tomorrow, this shit has gone on for too long
[Help] How do I avoid eating at work?
/u/allafternooninlove
Created: Mon Oct 30 17:53:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79rtir/how_do_i_avoid_eating_at_work/
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[removed]
[Discussion] So that's how normies see food ?
/u/Arkhamgel [5'8| | 143 | 15 lbs | Male]
Created: Mon Oct 30 17:49:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79rsli/so_thats_how_normies_see_food/
---
I had a friend over yesterday, and by the end of the meal, there was like 1/3 left on her plate. She told me "tell your mom it was delicious, I was just not very hungry anymore after those cookies we ate"
What ???? People can stop eating like that ???? What is this sorcery
[Help] Give me all of your recovery advice
/u/floralpeach
Created: Mon Oct 30 17:25:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79rmzf/give_me_all_of_your_recovery_advice/
---
I'm done. I don't want to be disordered. I don't want to binge, restrict, obsessively count calories, or anything anymore. I don't even want to lose weight anymore. I want to be free. Why is that so hard? I'm too terrified to actually ask for help/get treatment, but other than that I'm willing to do basically anything to recover. Please give me any advice. I'm desperate.
[Discussion] who here uses drugs as a way of appetite suppression/weight loss?
/u/Imberryhigh
Created: Mon Oct 30 16:41:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79rct7/who_here_uses_drugs_as_a_way_of_appetite/
---
[Help] How Long is Too Long of a Fast?
/u/bunntendo [Height | CW128 | BMI20 | WeightLost32 | GenderNB]
Created: Mon Oct 30 16:36:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79rbsw/how_long_is_too_long_of_a_fast/
---
I ate way too much this weekend, I'm gaining weight back probably from that and being bloated, and I hate myself so much for it. I want to fast but I don't know how long is too long of a fast that it becomes a true problem?
I've personally never gone over 26 hours just because my boyfriend generally makes me eat after a while and I give in, but I'm so upset I just want to never eat again. I saw someone else share their vora history and they were at 96 hours at one point. Is that too much? I don't want to make myself suffer too much, but I also have to stop eating for at least a 40 hours to let my body get the calories out of my system.
Do I sound stupid?
[Discussion] Would you ever date a skinny guy?
/u/DeconstructionistEgo
Created: Mon Oct 30 16:21:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79r8es/would_you_ever_date_a_skinny_guy/
---
I could never bring myself to date someone skinny because I can’t stand the thought of being the fat one in a relationship. Every guy I’ve ever dated was at least a little chubby but not super fat ( not the best description, I know). I don’t even go for buff “gym bro” body types because they look too good. I don’t want to look fat next to my S/O.
[Help] Stuck at the same weight for a while now, how do i get lower?
/u/skyofAuroras [5'10" | CW: 125lbs | GW: 115lbs |19F]
Created: Mon Oct 30 16:14:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79r6p7/stuck_at_the_same_weight_for_a_while_now_how_do_i/
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[removed]
[Discussion] I torture myself
/u/skinthin
Created: Mon Oct 30 16:11:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79r60h/i_torture_myself/
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DAE purposely watch other people eat? I straight up stare intensely like some kind of animal and I hate myself for it. I watch until all of the food is gone and then feel really good that I didn't ask for any or take any offered to me.
[Rant/Rave] I'm going on vacation in a week and I haven't made any progress
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 30 15:58:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79r2ui/im_going_on_vacation_in_a_week_and_i_havent_made/
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[deleted]
Sorry
/u/nicfolai
Created: Mon Oct 30 15:46:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79qzxc/sorry/
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I took some mc donalds takeaway with me, now i’m in my bed and its either
binge and purge or throw away
I’m somewhat drunk, im sorry this doesn’t belong here or i’m breaking a rule (although i checked and i hope this is not a low effort post because it’s all i can do right now and i feel like shit)
>wat do
[Intro] Hi, I'm a phony!
/u/MyBodyIsACage_
Created: Mon Oct 30 15:39:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79qybv/hi_im_a_phony/
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I feel like a fraud because I'm at a much higher weight than most here.
I've recently lost 35lbs through fasting, and have gotten really positive feedback about the loss, but when I look in the mirror I feel like I look the exact same.
I'm not seeing any change at all. So I'm cycling between feeling like everything is pointless so I might as well binge, and then feeling super motivated and I should just restrict as tightly as possible.
Not counting calories?
/u/PrimaryGreen
Created: Mon Oct 30 15:39:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79qy9u/not_counting_calories/
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[removed]
[Other] B/p and relapse are a part of my life
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'3"|110| 25F]
Created: Mon Oct 30 15:23:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79qur2/bp_and_relapse_are_a_part_of_my_life/
---
There’s such dichotomy and hypocrisy in what I do to myself and what I do in my professional life.
But recently I’ve been struggling at work and even on days that are good I splurge or treat myself (or punish myself on bad days) with a binge and purge
And I thought I was in control
But I’m struggling and for some reason this behavior is what calms me down and what makes me fearless about my own future.
I have much love to give to others but I can’t find it for myself
I’m in a bad place I think I may need to call my psych soon.
[Rant/Rave] I feel like a fake
/u/tylerxox0
Created: Mon Oct 30 15:23:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79quou/i_feel_like_a_fake/
---
My calorie deficit used to be 500 calories a day and now it's 1000. My family keeps saying how proud they are I'm eating more and how good it is. But I feel so disgusting everyday that I go over 500 and I can't stop crying. I just can't do this and I hate people saying I'm doing better because it makes me feel like I look fatter or that all of my feelings and issues with myself are fake. I'm just sad.
(I can't flair on mobile so put as rant please)
[Other] Let's pool our money and buy an ED island.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW: 141.4 | UGW 105 | 24/F]
Created: Mon Oct 30 14:57:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79qoib/lets_pool_our_money_and_buy_an_ed_island/
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Sometimes I feel I just need some isolation from the outside world. Maybe I just wanted to b/p for a week in peace. Or be somewhere where I can't access food. Or a place with a personal nutritionist and trainer for me.
Right now, I want a place to reset. A place where there isn't food to think about or be tempted by. A place with no outside stress. A place where I ca just read all day and take a long beach walk later. Hell, I just want a place where I don't have to find a hiding place for all my laxatives and pills and all that junk. I'd like to just leave it in a drawer rather than hidden every day in a suitcase in the back of my closet.
[Rant/Rave] my life is in SHAMBLES
/u/magfrack [5'5" | 117 | 19.7 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 30 14:33:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79qj02/my_life_is_in_shambles/
---
help me anorexia! help me bulimia! help me bulimarexia! let me throw up everything i eat until i die! let me eat nothing until i die!
i'm drunk and heartbroken and i hope i die as soon as possible, but i love you, denizens of proED
[Rant/Rave] One benefit of not eating
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 30 14:29:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79qhwl/one_benefit_of_not_eating/
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Guys.
I’ve been eating a ton for days and I’m just a non-stop poop train, which is really shitty (lmao, literally, again, lol) in general, but super shitty now because I’m at work.
One of my favorite things (besides feeling super skinny) about fasting is not having to poop. I love it.
Be gone, poop! 💩💩💩
[Discussion] What was your victory today/recently?
/u/whatsupbuttercup5 [5'3" | CW 103.6 | GW 95 | HW 124 | LW 98 | 25F]
Created: Mon Oct 30 14:21:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79qg29/what_was_your_victory_todayrecently/
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Woke up this morning and weighed myself. And after DAYS of no movement on the scale despite eating <700 cals per day, I FINALLY hit underweight for my height today (< 104 pounds based on regular BMI scale). I'm so excited and no one else in my life will share my excitement.
What's going right for you guys right now?
[Rant/Rave] I was talking to a collage consoler today...
/u/sugarfreeicetea [5'7?|-22?|18F]
Created: Mon Oct 30 14:16:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79qenx/i_was_talking_to_a_collage_consoler_today/
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...And he told me that "it's better to graduate in five, six, or seven years and be healthy than graduate in four and be sick".
While he told me that I was staring at him wide eyed in disbelief because I don't agree with that at all. I know it's irrational but I want to stay on track and complete all my goals in the time frame that I give myself and then I stick to it. If I don't I’m only disappointed in myself and can't feel proud of anything, I’m such a perfectionist like that.
This logic applies to so many things in my life and it isn't good for my health but it's motivating and actually allows me to get shit done.
[Discussion] How much caffeine do you drink?
/u/clementinecutie1
Created: Mon Oct 30 14:14:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79qe6c/how_much_caffeine_do_you_drink/
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I used to hate coffee, and I still somewhat dislike the taste, but I crave it and drink it a lot more now because I need the caffeine. I have at least 2 cups of coffee per day, which obviously isn't a lot but I used to drink none and I hate how I force myself to drink it but I'd literally be falling asleep in the middle of the day if I didn't. Does anyone else not love coffee but still drink it for the caffeine, and how much do you drink?
[Rant/Rave] People conflating what it's like to have an ED with what it's like to occasionally dislike your body
/u/ForSnowfall
Created: Mon Oct 30 14:06:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79qcc5/people_conflating_what_its_like_to_have_an_ed/
---
I hate when I talk to a friend (who knows I have an ed) about how I wish I could lose weight, aka just trying to confide in them, and they respond by saying something like "same". It makes me want to slap them with a large bass fish or something; I'm sympathetic, but having an ed generally is very different. It's very ignorant and insensitive to make such comments. Anyone else have similar experiences?
(And obviously the same things happen with depression, anxiety, etc.)
[Discussion] Starbucks milk calories
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 30 13:54:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79q99z/starbucks_milk_calories/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Waiting for the whoosh
/u/Bathoriel
Created: Mon Oct 30 13:52:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79q8p0/waiting_for_the_whoosh/
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Scale hasn't moved in days, was up about 6 times last night peeing and was so excited to wake up and see my whoosh... Nothing :'(
Now I'm fighting myself over whether to have a "cheat" to kick my metabolism in the butt or whether to restrict more.
Sitting at 795 calories for the day and I KNOW it's less than half what I've burned but I feel like I've binged cause most of it was just on dinner and ughhhh I don't know how to just be normal.
[Discussion] How do you guys feel about vanity sizing?
/u/thebassistooloud
Created: Mon Oct 30 13:48:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79q7qh/how_do_you_guys_feel_about_vanity_sizing/
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Today I found an old pair of jeans from like middle school/early high school that actually fit again (low-key nsv), I was pretty surprised when I checked the tag and saw that they were a size 11!
The same sized pants are 5s now and that's crazy to me, idk.
How do you guys feel about vanity sizing?
[Tip] some tips!!
/u/dyingtobepretty
Created: Mon Oct 30 13:37:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79q4y5/some_tips/
---
i know getting out of a cycle of binging can be difficult and ive seen some posts requesting tips lately so i've written a list of the things i do:
make thinspiration boards/accounts. i use tumblr some, pinterest a lot, and i also make collages on adobe sketch on my ipad. the collages are the most helpful i find.
drink a lot of liquids. at first i wasnt paying much attention to the calories in the liquids i drank unless it was extremely high. it's an extremely easy diet to follow this way and since i wasn't eating anything most days, i still got smaller pretty fast. i was mostly drinking bottled coffee drinks but lately i've been feeling more motivated to lose weight so i've started making my coffee at home. i put 4 cups worth in a large cup and put one serving of flavored coffee creamer in it. 35 calories for 4 cups!!
take a drink and a cigarette outside and tell yourself that's a meal. if you don't want to smoke cigarettes or just want something to use inside, vapes are awesome. especially if you get a bigger one that produces a lot of smoke.
put effort into how you look in ways other than your weight; your makeup, hair, nails, clothing, etc. clean your room/home. pick up a hobby like painting or writing. focus on school/work. better yourself all around.
keep track of everything you eat. i go as long as i can without eating and then if i start feeling super sick, ill eat something small, so i use the calendar app in my phone bc it motivates me to put more distance between the days with marks. theres a lot of cool apps for counting calories and keeping track of measurements and stuff though. lifesum is the best i've come across, but it doesn't let you put your gw very low so it doesn't work for me and probably a lot of others on this sub. :/
burn incense/candles. smelling something strong and perfume-y always controls my appetite. i also wear a pretty strong perfume every day for this reason.
i smoke a lot of weed. i'm not 100% recommending this because munchies can be really hard to ignore, but it's not impossible with the right mindset. it helps me not want to eat just because it's something to do, similar to smoking a cigarette; i tell myself it's a meal. plus i usually don't want to eat when i'm high bc i want my high to be as intense and last as long as it can. it's also really inspiring so i'll end up spending hours making art or planning how i want my apartment to look eventually, without ever thinking about food. ill get super into my ED when i'm high too. putting together lists like this one, making thinspo collages, interacting on this sub. it can be really helpful if you use it right, but be careful. don't abuse it, and watch the munchies.
[Other] I haven’t weighed myself in three weeks
/u/TummyRumblz [5'8" | CW: Larvitar | GW: clamperl | F]
Created: Mon Oct 30 13:07:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79pxjl/i_havent_weighed_myself_in_three_weeks/
---
And I feel meh? There’s no scale at the place I’m staying. On one hand I need to know how much I weigh, and on the other I’m kind of fine with it. There’s a full length mirror in my room and I can track my progress that way. Like when I put on a bra I can kind of see my chest bones, or when I turn my head I can see the muscles in my neck.
I’ still don’t like the sizes I wear though. I wear a size 12 in pants but a size 6 in shirts, like wtf?? Why can’t they be the same
[Intro] Hey guys, I'm a person in suspended frustration.
/u/UnskinnyVegan [171cm | Too high | Too high | Ick | ]
Created: Mon Oct 30 12:23:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79pmj9/hey_guys_im_a_person_in_suspended_frustration/
---
I'm 23, female, and 5'7'' with a history of mental illness and a knowledge of knowing how to hide it (or at least, I think I do).
I'm on the autistic spectrum and even my earliest memory is one where I felt like I was out of control and I hated it; I remember crying for hours and hours as a one year old and wanting to stop, but I couldn't. I liked controlling everything and the easiest thing (and sometimes, most difficult thing to control) is my food.
My life seems good on the outside but it's pathetic on the inside; I'm currently involved in a police case because my landlord assaulted me in the middle of the night, making me homeless within the span of 24 hours. During the period, I ate whatever I wanted, drank whatever I wanted, and did not do any exercise because I couldn't bear standing next to a human. Food became an odd sort of comfort and naturally, I gained weight.
The first time I saw myself in the mirror of my new place, I felt a deep sense of disgust. I closed the mirror and didn't stop eating. I'd eat all my favourite foods. I was worried about my weight piling up but then I thought, "I'm vegan, surely vegan food is good for you."
NOPE.
I got my shit together and tried to pull my life together but I feel like I lost something; I feel like I can't control anything anymore. Even if I did, someone could come over and mess everything up. I've had a month where I didn't leave my house.
The one last thing I can control is food. I can choose how much I want to eat, what I want to eat, when I want to eat, and manipulate the way it makes me feel. The numbers make me happy. I'm a mathematician in real life and knowing that there's some discrete and non-abstract way of controlling food makes me happy.
I can choose how small I want to be and at this point, I want to vanish into thin air. I don't want to be seen. I hate it when there's something of me to see. I hate it when I catch eyes with someone and see their eyes go up and down.
I've lurked in this subreddit and found that it's helped me a lot, on the inside. I'm tired of psychologists, psychiatrists, GPs, social workers, and friends being concerned of me. They don't know how I feel at all... because I genuinely don't know how I feel either.
I know I did the right thing by reporting and making sure the other girls in the house are safe by telling them but it didn't make me feel brave or strong. I don't feel scared of being hurt again. I feel weak and tired on the inside. I feel disgusting, pathetic, lazy, and sloppy. There're days when I feel like I'm sane and then I remember that I've never been sane... I've only been a person whom other people have viewed as functional/normal.
I just want to live in a world where everything is easy to control. I know that my ED is not a true-blue ED because it doesn't come from wanting to look a certain way but I can't help but feel like I can relate to what you're saying on here. The little celebrations, rants, raves, discussions... they all make some sort of sense to me. It's a little world of control and non-control; a language I can understand.
Sorry for the wall of text; Hello.
[Discussion] fasting tips
/u/lists_n_shits [5'4" | CW 113 | GW 105]
Created: Mon Oct 30 12:18:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79plfi/fasting_tips/
---
Soo I decided I need to reset myself after binging and having trouble restricting for a while.
What are your fasting tips? Do you sometimes eat certain foods when fasting just to get through? Something calorie negative like carrots or cucumber?
I'm trying to stick to just coffee, tea, coke zero, and bouillon broth. Sipping on broth right now and holy shit I forgot how satisfying it can be!
I really want to alternate fasting days (staying between 0-100 calories) and restriction days (below 1000) till I get back down to 110 lbs.
[Rant/Rave] ugh
/u/dyingtobepretty
Created: Mon Oct 30 12:10:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79pja4/ugh/
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halloween has always been my fav holiday. i love dressing up slutty, parties, getting drunk with friends. but i've lost all my friends and now i have nothing to do this year. so little that i didn't bother even thinking about a costume. i'm just feeling so sad and lonely and like my life is over. i used to have everything and now i have nothing and no one. i just want friends. that's fucking it.
at least i've been able to focus on starving myself this past weekend/tomorrow lmao
[Discussion] What's more of a waste of food in your opinion?
/u/luxklepto
Created: Mon Oct 30 11:22:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79p7lp/whats_more_of_a_waste_of_food_in_your_opinion/
---
Purging or throwing food away.
I always feel bad throwing away food that other people bought for me. It's different to throw away food that I bought, but I feel like it's wasting other people's money. Idk. So I usually justify purging this way. So I feel like purging is less wasteful? Yet I think if my friends who got me the food knew I would purge it, they'd rather I had thrown it away.
I decided I won't purge it. At worst, I retain water. At best, it triggers a whoosh since I have been restricting very well lately. If I purge, it might start a purge cycle.
[Rant/Rave] I hate myself. Reached 132 lbs. I was so close to breaking into the 120s zone. But my fat ass decided to have a good time and binge eat with the SO. Now I’ve ballooned up to 137 in just 2-3 weeks.
/u/fillebonbon
Created: Mon Oct 30 11:16:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79p5yg/i_hate_myself_reached_132_lbs_i_was_so_close_to/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] WYR have your ideal body or an ideal face?
/u/lavenderbruises [5'9"|CW 111| GW 100| BMI 16| 19F]
Created: Mon Oct 30 11:12:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79p50l/wyr_have_your_ideal_body_or_an_ideal_face/
---
I love “Would You Rathers” and I was thinking about this at the gym.
**Option A**: Ideal body, including your ideal body shape/weight/height/measurements. You get to keep this body at a maintenance level of 2500 cal per day and a sedentary lifestyle. But you keep your current face and facial structure adjusted for weight. Also you can’t get plastic surgery.
**Option B**: Ideal face, meaning you can look however you want. You can have the face of a supermodel if you’d like. Normal aging will occur, but you will always look 10-20 years you ger than your actual age. BUT your body would revert back to what it looked like at your highest weight and no matter what, you cannot change it. Meaning you can’t even tone it up. (Edit: would you choose this if it meant you were stuck at your current weight instead?)
I was leaning towards B, but then again the idea of having my old legs makes me shudder. So in the end I’d probably choose A. (Edit: on second thought I’d choose B, lol, I’ve always wanted to be beautiful).
Fucking up on day 4/5days fast by binging 2,000 kcal of pasta got me like-
/u/murdermttens
Created: Mon Oct 30 11:11:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79p4q5/fucking_up_on_day_45days_fast_by_binging_2000/
---
https://imgur.com/gallery/L8kGi
[Rant/Rave] Period bloat is trash
/u/z0mbabe [5'7 |175lbs | F| 🍑z0mbabe]
Created: Mon Oct 30 10:38:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79owlq/period_bloat_is_trash/
---
Welcome to my pity party: I got to 161.3 this week, and just like that over the last 48 hours I’m back up to 164.6 bc if my period starting. Erasing any progress I made this week. I only ate he normal weekend days and I didn’t eat more than 700 calories tops each day so I know there’s no way this is real but it’s really fucking with me?
Like I don’t know what I actually weigh and it’s driving me crazy. I hate this.
Water retention sucks. I’m hoping by the end of this week when it’s over I’ll be down to 160 or something :/ this is just hella discouraging. It’s hard to stay motivated during a fast when you’ve gained.
[Tip] Life pro-ed tip
/u/plantbasedgoddess
Created: Mon Oct 30 10:31:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79outc/life_proed_tip/
---
Don't eat all day before going out with your friends in the evening so you can get drunk in fewer drinks 👌👌
Be safe this Halloween though!!
[Help] Hiding not eating/avoiding binge at office function
/u/TacosGetMeThrough [5'4|28F|SW: 183|CW: 164|GW: 120]
Created: Mon Oct 30 09:57:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79oml2/hiding_not_eatingavoiding_binge_at_office_function/
---
Sorry I am new to trying to avoid binging/hiding not eating. Normally I just let myself binge but I have been slowly getting my self control back. Office is having a pizza party tomorrow. I was dreaming of this pizza party all week as I haven't had pizza in so long that my mouth was watering. I did something smart did a controlled binge yesterday when my family ordered my favorite pizza, so I feel like the urge to eat pizza will be wayyyyy less & the harm is done so I'm back to normal eating. But the office manager was calling me today saying they will order a special vegetarian/veggie pizza for me so I won't be left out.... so now I'm like oh ok.
We all will be eating in a conference room together, I was thinking of trying c/s but never did it. I don't know maybe I'm freaking out for nothing but I'm much more backed in a corner now that we're all going to sit down at this conference table to eat (about 10-15 people) and they specially ordered a pizza I can eat so I can't sit there with an empty plate.
[Discussion] DAE wonder if strangers observe your eating patterns?
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | SW: 130 | CW: ~125 | GW: small | 20F]
Created: Mon Oct 30 09:43:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79oja0/dae_wonder_if_strangers_observe_your_eating/
---
If the workers in my school cafeteria watched me every day, they would definitely be entertained lol. Like, is she going to chug a weird coffee/hot cocoa mixture and water until she has no appetite? Is she going to eat the entire dessert table? Tune in to today's lunch episode to find out!
[Discussion] fucked it up
/u/fitisthegoal
Created: Mon Oct 30 09:24:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79oesp/fucked_it_up/
---
So finally snapped at my boyfriend at getting concerned at my eating by saying I've been telling him I eat 800 a day and he thinks that's normal.
But then apparently now he's super concerned and told me if I got to 95 he would be so mad and worried. He also said he wasn't attracted to very skinny girls when I was looking at model pics on insta. But his family noticed I lost weight and was so positive so now I just have motivation to keep going!!
[Rant/Rave] Coworkers commenting on my food
/u/Industrial_Strength
Created: Mon Oct 30 09:13:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79oce6/coworkers_commenting_on_my_food/
---
I deal with binge eating so I try to eat a small meal for lunch and a little larger meal for dinner and I don't let myself eat outside those times. I think about food 24/7 and its a real battle but I've lost 6 lbs within the past 3 weeks. I'm trying to eat like a normal person instead of just shoveling food down my throat all day long.
11am rolls around today at work so I heat up my grilled chicken and some noodles and bring it back to my desk. I know it's a little early for lunch but I don't eat breakfast so by this time I'm starving.
I cannot stand when people comment on my food or my eating habits or any of that. It makes me incredibly self conscious and bad about myself, like I'm not allowed to eat once someone notices.
My coworker comes up to my desk as I'm taking a bite of chicken and says "Hungry eh? A little early for lunch, what have you got there?"
and now I just want to throw the whole thing away. ugh.
[Discussion] Do you guys feel like your ED caused other mental health issues, or that other mental health issues caused your ED?
/u/Borderline-Crazy
Created: Mon Oct 30 08:51:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79o79v/do_you_guys_feel_like_your_ed_caused_other_mental/
---
I initially sought help for depression, but was later diagnosed with, and treated for, EDNOS too. While going through therapy, I was then diagnosed with BPD.
After my BPD diagnosis, I 100% came to believe that my ED was caused by classic BPD feelings of no self worth, black and white thinking (I either ate nothing or everything in sight), and I used to think that my mood changes were correlated with how I ate, but I now realise that it was mostly nonsensical BPD swings.
I also used to obsess with ED related things, like books and documentaries, but I think that was mainly because I have a very addictive personality. I was addicted to throwing up and losing weight. My current addiction of choice is alcohol lol.
Which do you think came first for you? The ED, or the other stuff?
[Goal] My goal is to always stay under 1000 calories.
/u/Demonic_angelboy04
Created: Mon Oct 30 08:50:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79o6zm/my_goal_is_to_always_stay_under_1000_calories/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] LW
/u/posyposer [5’4 | 21.5 | CW: 125 | GW: 115]
Created: Mon Oct 30 08:40:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79o4og/lw/
---
Today I weighed in at my LW again (123.2 lbs) after not stepping on the scale for five days, which was fueled by three exams (so I was either eating nothing or everything) and an attempt at self-love. I felt like I was eating so much!! I had lots of snacks, but I didn’t eat a lot of real meals, which is usually so dangerous for me unless I’ve pre-portioned everything or am counting calories, *which I didn’t even do!* I was so terrified I would gain that I let myself weigh in today, I decided it wasn’t worth the stress of not knowing (I was trying to go a whole week but whatever I still did pretty well 😅). Anyway, I can’t believe that I wasn’t crying after. You guys know how sometimes you look in the mirror and you look like a whale, then you see a number on the scale lower than you expected and suddenly you look acceptable? Lots of that this morning 😊
[Rant/Rave] The cold is fucking with my will power
/u/ElectricWerm [5'9 | 134lb | 115lb | 23F]
Created: Mon Oct 30 08:16:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79nz8y/the_cold_is_fucking_with_my_will_power/
---
Fuck fuck fuck. I hate Michigan, I hate being freezing.
I want to shovel chili, mac n cheese, all the warm ooey gooey food I can in my stupid face to make my stupid body less cold and miserable.
I want all the bullshit flavored holiday lattes. Just, constantly lol.
I can't go out for a run or ride my bike anymore, being outside for more than a walk to the car is a mission tbh.
It doesn't help I lost all my weight over the summer so now I'm smaller / even MORE cold.
Its gonna be a tough few months and I am not ready for it. I swear I've gained 10lbs in a WEEK.
What are some holiday comfort foods I can eat without wanting to kill myself? I refuse to stay in the 130s. Breaking into the 120s was my biggest achievement ever and I can't believe I fucked it up already.
[Discussion] DAE experience moments of clarity while stoned?
/u/skinthin
Created: Mon Oct 30 08:16:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79nz6p/dae_experience_moments_of_clarity_while_stoned/
---
Sometimes when I smoke, I realize how little control I really have and how I wouldn't be able to stop if I tried. I realize how abnormal my behavior is and get hit with a wave of panic. I do the same thing with my self harm, I realize how much damage I have done to myself and how abnormal the way I think and the things I do are. I get scared but not enough to stop, just enough to feel like I'm in some one else's body, wondering how I let myself get this bad. I don't know if this happens to anyone else, but it is quite strange.
[Rant/Rave] How do you feel when someone tells you to stop losing because you look weird?
/u/itscirclejerky [5'6 | CW: repulsive| 20ish ? | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 30 07:54:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79nuiy/how_do_you_feel_when_someone_tells_you_to_stop/
---
My brother is bulking so we talk about health sometimes and today he asked me to stop losing weight because I'm starting to look 'weird'.
I've only lost about 17 lbs and still need to lose another 20 to hit my ugw so of course I almost scoffed and laughed but he says I'm looking really skinny and actually lifted me up by my elbows with little effort (a clean 2-3 feet off the ground).
Rationally, I know it's because he weighs an extra 30kg (68 lbs I think) and that's mostly muscle but half of my brain says 'stop! health!' and the other half says 'he lifts your highest weight as a warm up, keep losing'.
I completely forgot that my BMI is already pretty low by healthy person standards but I explained the BMI system and said I could still lose weight and be considered healthy. Obviously this is false, but I don't really know what to do. Health over mind? Mind over health?
[Help] Nauseous and Dizzy
/u/fuckingusernamee [4'11| 105| 21.2 | 30 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Oct 30 07:52:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79ntzs/nauseous_and_dizzy/
---
I have been fasting for 127 hours and I'm sitting in the bathroom during class because I am so shaky and nauseous and my head is pounding, I know I need to eat but I am so nauseous that I don't feel like I even possibly could eat right now, and there is also nothing here to eat until break time which is always just a bunch of chips and brownies, which is NOT happening. What can I do for myself right now? I can't leave, so I really am stuck on what to do. This has happened before but I usually had fruit or something to help, now I just have to try to not pass out in front of my entire school and wait for lunch and hope they have cucumber slices that I can eat if I can't do anything else, but I'm hoping you guys have some tricks to help me before that.
[Rant/Rave] Not even mad anymore, just disappointed
/u/invisibone [5'5" | CAN MUSCLE REALLY WEIGH THAT MUCH MORE| F |]
Created: Mon Oct 30 07:36:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79nqt7/not_even_mad_anymore_just_disappointed/
---
Remember as a kid when it was sooooo much worse if an adult you liked said they were disappointed instead of angry with you? Yeah, that'd be me right about now. I was 118. I was less than 10 lbs from goal. And I fucking *ruined* it. Ruined myself. Again. Can't fucking believe it. Feels like I'm never not starting over :'(
[Discussion] "Goal Weight" VS actual Goal Weight
/u/milkymeow [5'7" | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 30 07:30:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79npjc/goal_weight_vs_actual_goal_weight/
---
What do you tell people your goal weight is versus what your actual goal weight is. I'm 5'7 so I usually say my GW is around 140 but my actual goal weight is 114 or 110. If I told people that they usually freak out and say that's way to skinny.
[Help] Where can I watch new Louis Theroux episode?
/u/nervous_nandu [5'5" | CW 120.6 | LW/GW 98| 20F]
Created: Mon Oct 30 07:24:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79nocm/where_can_i_watch_new_louis_theroux_episode/
---
I live outside of the UK so I can’t access it directly on the BBC website. Does anyone have a link to anywhere it is available?
[Rant/Rave] okay no more screwing up
/u/lists_n_shits [5'4" | CW 113 | GW 105]
Created: Mon Oct 30 07:05:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79nkjc/okay_no_more_screwing_up/
---
I've been letting myself slip lately. The scale read 115 this morning and I' m really not surprised. I binged on chocolate peanut butter cookies (11 cookies @ 80 cal each) last night. F***! Threw the rest of the package (over half) right into the garbage.
It just makes me really angry at myself. Over the summer I was 107 and was so close to my goal. Then a bunch of shit happened, as it always does, and work got stressful and I started slipping. Part of me wants to blame other people cause I feel like it's their bad habits I took on. Friends and co-workers are always trying to give me food and go out to dinner and drinks and I just don't have control once I'm out.
But things are changing now. I'm making myself a priority again. I'm saving money by not going out to eat for a while, thats a good excuse. I mean, I really do need to save. And I'm going to fast 4 days a week and restrict the rest. I think once I get back around 110 lbs I'll feel more confident and be able to ride that momentum all the way to 105.
Trying to do just black coffee and cherry coke zero today, wish me luck. It's been awhile since I fasted.
[Rant/Rave] Cold office rant continued
/u/skinnifat [5'4" | CW: 112 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 30 06:25:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79nczw/cold_office_rant_continued/
---
I made a post last week about being freezing in the office, wearing a lot of layers, and ordering a lab coat, etc etc.
WELL I finally decided on the lab coat I wanted to order and I was planning on using the company card today to purchase it. WHENNNN I pull into work and my supervisor parks next to me with a car full of his daughter's old jackets that I can use as lab coats. LIKE I DONT NEED YOUR HAND ME DOWNS. I had to pick one while I'm just screaming "pls no" on the inside. What have I done
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! October 30, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Oct 30 06:13:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79nar9/weekly_stats_update_october_30_2017/
---
This is the weekly status thread for October 30, 2017.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 30, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Oct 30 06:13:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79naq4/daily_food_diary_october_30_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 30, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Help] Girls, what method of birth control are you using?
/u/es_0 [167 cm | GW: 47 kg | 20F]
Created: Mon Oct 30 05:55:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79n7kh/girls_what_method_of_birth_control_are_you_using/
---
Hello everyone
Before my ED started I was using the pill and after a year I switched to the Implanon (hormone implant), right around when my AN manifested itself. For the following four years I've never had my period or any bleeding at all. Emotionally I've had many ups and downs and for the past year my depression got heavier.
Just a few months ago I decided to take it out and not use anything with hormones, mainly to see how I'll react mentally.
Things have been well but I'm not noticing many differences. For three months now my period has been regular... and I really dislike it. My cramps are bad, I'm hungrier (cravings...) and the bloating is horrible. Plus it's a hassle to use condoms with my long-term BF.
First I've been thinking about the copper spiral, but I'm unsure about the pain and all other negative aspects of it. The only positive thing is that it's not messing with my hormones.
I really don't know. Everything has their ups and downs. So girls of /r/proed please tell me: what do you use and how are you handling any side effects? Especially in regards to your ED.
[Rant/Rave] Friends make insensitive comments that I can't get mad at
/u/vkomova [5'11 | ugh | ugh | ugh | F]
Created: Mon Oct 30 05:35:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79n4b0/friends_make_insensitive_comments_that_i_cant_get/
---
I feel like my friends know something about me and my relationship with food and my eating patterns isn't quite normal, but they don't say anything. Except for some of them, who are totally clueless and make jokes about it. It really upsets me and humiliates me, and I'm not really the type to not call people out when they say something shitty to me, but I feel like if I DO tell them to fuck off, it confirms that there's something wrong in that department and draws more attention to it. People paying attention to my eating or speculating about it is the very last thing I want, so I just seethe at them and say nothing and then get over it. I'm so tired of swallowing my feelings because my disorder loves secrecy too much for me to let anybody know that I have Issues.
[Help] Just finished a 7 day fast and then binged...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 30 05:30:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79n3jz/just_finished_a_7_day_fast_and_then_binged/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Anyone else get really freaking upset when they see pictures from their HW? AKA me this morning
/u/thinismygame [5'6.5" | 125 | F | 22]
Created: Mon Oct 30 05:24:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79n2nx/anyone_else_get_really_freaking_upset_when_they/
---
Okay I seriously am so mad at my friend right now. She posted a picture from my highest weight [about 5 years ago] on Facebook.
I told her about my ED before and how those pictures are so horrible for me and I cry every time I see them. I saw her 2 weeks ago and I'm at my lowest adult weight and she was acting all concerned about how skinny I was (LOL JOKE I'm normal weight) and then she posts this picture???? on Facebook!? and tags me in it?!?!
I don't use this word often but I am so fucking triggered. I had a huge binge fest this weekend but I am so sick to my stomach after seeing that. I planned on restricting again obviously and this just ensures that. Not only that, but I've told her so many times how ashamed I am to be at that weight [binge eating out of control] and how embarrassed I feel when people I know see that. This was before I met my boyfriend too and I really don't want him to see this but it's on Facebook. I texted her but she hasn't replied.
I just feel like this is insensitive on her part, but I'm probably oversensitive due to ED. I'm in the library trying not to cry right now. I'm just so pissed. I've worked so hard to reinvent myself. The people at school know me as the girl who never eats anything unhealthy. They all laugh when I go walk the stairs in-between classes to get more exercise. They bring cookies and pizza in and don't even ask me anymore because I'm "so healthy™!!" I'm *that* girl. I'm not the fat girl anymore, but seeing that picture just took me back. Ugh.
Do you guys feel this way when seeing pictures from the past too?
[Goal] Apparently I an absolutely clueless about my size.
/u/Funktionierende [25F | 5'2" | CW131.2lbs | SW185lbs | GW100lbs | BMI24]
Created: Mon Oct 30 03:34:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79mn7h/apparently_i_an_absolutely_clueless_about_my_size/
---
I keep staring at my ribs and hip bones protruding from my BMI 24 body, thinking "With this bone structure, I'll never be a size 0. My bones are huge. I probably have a size 4 bone structure. Ugh."
But I have been getting kind of tired of wearing my baggy old jeans and sweatpants, and I was browsing Amazon and I found this pair of jeans that I really liked the look of, so I ordered a pair. Size 4, smallest size they had on that style, thinking they'd be goal pants. Thinking they'd be something to work towards. Thinking they'd probably fit when I'm as small as I can go.
They arrived.
They *fit*.
Perfectly. Snug, form-fitting, but not skin tight and not difficult to put on at all. It's like they were tailor made for me.
I'm. a. Size. 4. (in that brand anyway, and the reviews seem to agree that they run true to size).
Size 4 was basically my goal size because I thought I was limited by my friggen bones, and now I know I can go way smaller because I still have plenty of bubble-butt remaining. At least I have a nice pair of jeans to wear in the meantime.
[Rant/Rave] 'You're not allowed to feel bad until you've eaten more than me'
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5'4" | 123 | 21.4 | GW: 115 | NB]
Created: Mon Oct 30 03:29:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79mmnh/youre_not_allowed_to_feel_bad_until_youve_eaten/
---
My girlfriend (who I love to death) said this to me last night because I freaked out over eating 2 slices of toast, half a 450g tub of yoghurt and 4 slices (I guess 2 if you count that they were cut so small) of Dominos pizza and I asked her not to take a photo of me.
She's trying to help me recover before it gets 'too bad' but comments like that don't help, everytime I eat 'normally' I feel like shit and like I'm faking having a disorder and I don't know how to tell anyone this because they don't understand, the only thing that's keeping me eating ~500 is she tells me I'll get a hug for it. Which is dumb but it works I guess.
[Rant/Rave] i am so sick of my roommate
/u/band-aide [5'6 | CW: 125 | SW: 140 | F/18]
Created: Sun Oct 29 23:28:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79lrzm/i_am_so_sick_of_my_roommate/
---
long, stupid, tired, hungry rant incoming
well i actually hate all of them for really petty reasons. i wish i could live alone so bad. i actually live in a really nice apartment but i'm an ass who is never satisfied with anything nice. i even have my own room in an apartment of 5 people. 2 of them don't even talk to the rest of us. i hate sharing a space with others. i hate sharing my bathroom. i hate sharing fridge space. the little space i use is still so small i have to cram everything anyway.
one chick is this fat girl trying to lose weight and she cooks a lot. burns everything. always. leaves the oven on. doesn't clean up after herself. uses SO many dishes including my own but this girl NEVER speaks to me, even in passing. so fucking weird.
the other one i really dislike always fucking asks me what i'm eating or i'll like come home with bags and she'll ask some obvious question, "did ya go shopping" of fucking course i did now leave me alone jesus christ.
i'm such a dick for being this way but i'm so sick of acting like this doesn't bother me. i restrict all day and once the lights are off in the common area and i'm sure no one's out there i grab my food and eat in my room before i go to bed. i was pissed because this chick's door is open and i was like FUCK. i'm a ravenous raccoon anyways and was probably getting wrappers to make a lot of noise. she comes out and i awkwardly go "hi".
i'm so sick of failing at hiding my weirdness around food. people have accidentally seen me reorganize my food in the fridge or open it then close it then open it then close it again. it's so fucking annoying. this one chick is always asking questions. like please stop talking to me. i'm so fucking mean when i'm hungry. i was pissed i had to wait longer to eat than i expected to.
this girl just sees my weird eating habits and i swear she's onto me. when i first came here she brought up once how i never eat and i was like err i have bad anxiety so i don't like leaving my room often. i hate when people pry. i've dealt with my ED since i was 13, so it's almost been 6 years for me. fuck off and stop prying. i know what i'm doing jfc
[Goal] I'm the heaviest I've ever been and things need to change.
/u/khristy313
Created: Sun Oct 29 23:17:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79lqbb/im_the_heaviest_ive_ever_been_and_things_need_to/
---
I weighed myself today and I'm 228 pounds. I'm 5'11 and I've got a pretty thick build normally but I don't usually show when I gain weight. I can't wear my old pants or shorts and my stomach is so big I look pregnant. My lowest weight was 160 and I'm setting that as my ultimate goal, I know anything below that is unlikely. But I just need to get back below 200. I didn't think I was this bad but holy shit guys. I really fucked myself up.
[Discussion] Does anyone else feel like admitting you're dieting is admitting weakness?
/u/auxiliaryNote
Created: Sun Oct 29 21:29:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79l92y/does_anyone_else_feel_like_admitting_youre/
---
I feel like everyone else can just eat the right amount normally, and when I say that I'm intentionally doing it it's admitting that I'm a broken pig who has to be conscious about it. Even if I did get to a normal weight I feel like it wouldn't count because it would be unnatural.
[Rant/Rave] back on track
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18| f | 22]
Created: Sun Oct 29 21:17:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79l6ye/back_on_track/
---
i've been trying (and kind of succeeding) in losing the weight i gained on maintenance. over the weekends, i'll usually go a few hundred calories over my tdee. yesterday, i ate around 2,000 calories. i haven't been going to the gym. my stomach flatness and thigh gap are diminishing. every time i eat—even things like apples and vegetables, stuff i used to feel okay with eating—i feel guilty and disgusting.
starting tomorrow, i'm getting back on track. i'm fasting until the afternoon (but letting myself drink coffee before then cuz i'm lowkey addicted to caffeine) on days when i have work and on other days i'll fast until i get home. i'm giving myself a *hard limit* of 700 calories per day. weakness is giving up and eating more than my limit. i'm refinding the strength that i had when i maintained my lowest weight.
[Rant/Rave] Being broke is a blessing in disguise?
/u/imnevergold [170 | CW 51.7 | GW 47 | BMI 17.84 | F |]
Created: Sun Oct 29 20:50:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79l28i/being_broke_is_a_blessing_in_disguise/
---
I've been eating way too much to feel comfortable with myself. This weekend I literally blew like $100. $70 if my friend pays me back for the drinks I bought him lol. I've decided that my food budget for the week is going to be $30, which means a lot of days where I eat 400 calories Special K cereal for the entire day lol
[Discussion] I like to spend all my money once I get paid so I won't have leftover $$$ to buy food
/u/fennekinsfox
Created: Sun Oct 29 20:35:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79kzda/i_like_to_spend_all_my_money_once_i_get_paid_so_i/
---
I know it sounds silly but normally once I get paid I like to spend up most of my leftover cash after bills, savings, etc. so I won't be tempted to buy fast food, snacks from the vending machine, go out with friends and that sorta thing. I'll buy myself some healthy/safe foods at the grocery store and I basically just force myself to eat those and nothing else.
Does anyone else do this? lol
[Rant/Rave] Unintentional dickish behavior led to less cals
/u/lesscush4smoosh [5'9" | avoiding scale | will update | not sure | F]
Created: Sun Oct 29 20:17:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79kw8w/unintentional_dickish_behavior_led_to_less_cals/
---
My husband is a sensitive, sweet guy. I am a sensitive, sweet girl. But much like dogs, when stuck inside (inactive) all day and with too much energy pent up, we can get destructive. Especially towards each other. We generally go to the gym or hike or fish or swim to keep ourselves cool.
Despite inactivity, I have been hella sweet somehow this weekend but he has been in brooding douche-bag mode all day. I really wanted to make chocolate mousse but was fighting the urge when, out of the blue, he piped up: "can we make brownies?"
Um hellzbellzyuh. I was thinking, be cool be cool. Dip your finger in the batter ONCE and enjoy it, then call it good. So I go to stick my finger in the bowl and *whap* get the back of my hand smacked. "What the hell?!?" "I want to make sure the batter fills the pan." "Dude, seriously. How much did you think I was going to take WITH THE TIP OF MY INDEX FINGER."
Needless to say I won't be eating any brownies. But now he thinks I am acting childish. Some days I wish I could explain but he doesn't get it. He lectured me on my lack of weight lifting inclusion in my gym routine this weekend and decided to comment on my general lack of red meat in my diet.
I want to scream at him. 4 years ago we could talk about all this while I was inpatient and had maybe 30 min of phone time a day. He understood and was so supportive. Now that I am no longer underweight (god help me) he thinks I should be able to be "normal" about things.
How can I talk to him without ratting myself out? I have tried being subtle but ahh. He does not pick up on things like that (bless his heart)
Sorry no flair - on mobile
[Discussion] What's your response when your doctor wants you to gain weight?
/u/randyguptill [5'7.5" | CW 128.4 | maintaining | 19.31 | complicated |]
Created: Sun Oct 29 20:15:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79kvp3/whats_your_response_when_your_doctor_wants_you_to/
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He knows I'm purging and restricting. I'm an adult so he can't do anything other than talk to me. He's a really great guy so I don't want to be mean. But I am not going to change my eating habits now. Only going for antidepressants and a pap smear. He wants me to get a mammogram but I don't even have boobs anymore lol.
[Discussion] Anyone seen the new Louis Theroux anorexia documentary?
/u/fruitandfood [🦊 5'7" | 129.4 | 20.2 | F 🌻]
Created: Sun Oct 29 20:14:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79kvl0/anyone_seen_the_new_louis_theroux_anorexia/
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I am obsessed with Louis Theroux and I was so excited he was doing the documentary and well, I loved it.
It was also so interesting to see some one who didn't seem to have been in anything near that type of environment before working so hard to try not to say anything offensive. I rewatched the moment where he is in a 60ish year old anorexic's house and she offers him a chocolate and he asks if she will have one with him and when she says no and explains her rules around it, his face is just so fascinating. He's struggling to understand her rules and whether him having it would help her or hurt her
I got concerned for the girl who got discharged at the end though, she didn't seem like she should've /:
[Goal] Extended Fast: Accountability (3-7 DAY GOAL)
/u/cloudsofdawn [169cm - 5'6.5' | CW: 119.9lbs | 19.1 BMI | -23lbs | F]
Created: Sun Oct 29 20:01:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79kt3a/extended_fast_accountability_37_day_goal/
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[removed]
Guys. I just made a 100 calorie cheese burger
/u/anashelby
Created: Sun Oct 29 19:54:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79krsv/guys_i_just_made_a_100_calorie_cheese_burger/
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[removed]
dinner
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 29 19:51:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79kree/dinner/
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https://i.imgur.com/Yf8ypLh.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I need to stop this
/u/floralpeach
Created: Sun Oct 29 19:50:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79kr3g/i_need_to_stop_this/
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I want to get better. This is taking over my life. I binge or restrict and there is no in between. Nobody even realizes it and I'm too scared to tell anyone. I like my body right now. I don't know why my mind won't let me just eat like a normal person and maintain it. Of course, I never turn down food and end up binging/eating over my maintenance calories most days, so I don't know if I'm really even as disordered as I think. I would love to be normal. I'm so jealous of everyone who knows how to eat normally, because apparently I can't even do that right. If anyone knows the secret to eating like a normal person without binging and restricting and freaking out about calories and thinking about food 24/7 let me know because I seriously hate doing this.
[Rant/Rave] Oh what a fun weekend
/u/ssfbgm
Created: Sun Oct 29 19:47:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79kqld/oh_what_a_fun_weekend/
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Got a wedding coming up (not mine) so I need to drop for that - id rather not have my dress look like an old sausage casing. My skinny friend got skinnier and she’s already a bombshell so yeah that leftover Chinese in the fridge can get fucked because I’m not eating it. Like she looks like a sunflower and I look like a goddamn potato.
Life has been giving me the finger lately. Luckily, I’ve dropped 10 pounds so far this month because anxiety killed my appetite, so this should be easy as hell. Thank god toxins are trendy and juice cleanses are in.
[Help] need someone to talk to and help
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 29 19:46:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79kqf2/need_someone_to_talk_to_and_help/
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[removed]
[Help] post-binge blues. what to do now?
/u/bmddx
Created: Sun Oct 29 19:12:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79kjwh/postbinge_blues_what_to_do_now/
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today has been a rouuuugh day due to me eating far more than i expected or would have liked to. i feel huge again after a week of successful restricting. but i was wondering what would be beneficial to do (aside from purging) to build myself back to feeling fine & empty. what do y'all typically do after binging? fast? work out?
[Help] Tips to make yourself feel skinnier without actually being skinnier?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 29 19:11:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79kjq1/tips_to_make_yourself_feel_skinnier_without/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Does your frugality contribute to your ED?
/u/lavenderbruises [5'9"|CW 111| GW 100| BMI 16| 19F]
Created: Sun Oct 29 18:51:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79kfqp/does_your_frugality_contribute_to_your_ed/
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So Im pretty frugal+cheap, although I have considerable savings from summer jobs/red pocket money and my parents help with tuition. It doesnt help however that grocery prices where I live are so high. Im talking $5 for a package of bacon, $4 for a head of cauliflower, $7 for a sad package of prosciutto!
Since I dont buy much besides bread, cabbage, tomatoes, carrots, and eggs, my weekly food bill turns out to be $15-20. This makes me really happy. I can’t imagine spending upwards of $50 a week on food, neither do I need to. On the other hand, my housemates hardly cook and regularly get take out (which probably costs like $20 a meal—wtf??)
It helps with my calorie restriction because since I dont buy stuff like snacks, frozen pizza, cake, etc—I don’t binge on them. Simple as that.
Which is why Im worried for what will happen when I can finally start maintaining. Suddenly I’ll go from eating 500 cal worth of food a day to 1500! That is a 3x increase. I’m afraid that my frugality will stop me from buying enough food for myself and eating at maintenance and I’ll just keep losing and losing like a downward spiral.
Anyone else feel like their ED is exacerbated by their cheapness?
[Rant/Rave] Here we go again.
/u/letmebelittle [5'7" | CW: 122.8 lbs | BMI: 19.2 | WL: 87 lbs | Female]
Created: Sun Oct 29 18:11:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79k7xw/here_we_go_again/
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I have been too depressed lately to even think about my ED. All I've wanted to do is eat and sleep for the past two weeks. I feel so fat and disgusting, and apparently I've gained around 16 lbs. I need to get a handle on this again. I've been hardcore binging every day, no purging, and i need to snap back into it. I'm sick of feeling like even more of a whale than before. I need some control again.
Sorry that this is kinda random, I just had to get it out there to make myself accountable.
[Discussion] Annoying comments
/u/skinnifat [5'4" | CW: 112 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 29 18:00:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79k5ox/annoying_comments/
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No one knows I have an ED. Everyone just thinks I "eat healthy." I usually eat ~600 calories a day during the week and don't really care what I eat on weekends as long as it's around 1000 calories.
My family ordered pizza for dinner which I would usually avoid but with it being Sunday, I convinced myself just one slice would be okay. As soon as I sit down and mentally prepare, my dad HAS to say "YOU'RE EATING PIZZA??" Like wtf. Apparently my mom told him I don't eat pizza. Okay mom, when did I say that?
My parents make comments like this ALL the time and it makes me so mad.
Anyway, anyone else relate? Let me hear your stories and if you've found a solution!
I just said something like "yes I am having a slice of pizza, do you have to comment on every single thing I eat?" Ugh
[Rant/Rave] A skirt from high school sent me down a shame spiral
/u/FatNegligence
Created: Sun Oct 29 17:55:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79k4q4/a_skirt_from_high_school_sent_me_down_a_shame/
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I'm 26 and I skirt I wore 8 years ago has me feeling lower than I've been in years.
While cleaning out my closet, I found the skirt and, for some reason, thought it would be a good idea to try on. An XS wool skirt that used to fit just right over my hips will barely contain the smallest part of my waist. I used to be so tiny; I wish I was as "fat" now as I was then.
I pretended to be a vegetarian to disguise my eating disorder (classic) and god, I looked good. I lived for the snide remarks about eating a sandwich, I loved being known as the tiny girl.
Now, I'm post-college, post-serious relationship, post-hope for the future and instead of restricting, I stuff my face when I'm stressed. I hate it. I hate how I feel in my own body. I know better than to fall down this rabbit hole again; I know what healthy eating looks like and I know how to lose weight safely. But I don't want that. I hate myself and my body too much to take care of it.
I just want to be a woman who can wear her old clothes from high school.
[Help] I can't stop binging and purging someone help please.
/u/uncommonlyaverage [5'3 | CW 115 | GW 95 | BMI 20.4 |18 F]
Created: Sun Oct 29 17:54:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79k4ir/i_cant_stop_binging_and_purging_someone_help/
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I was doing very well restricting and lost about 12 pounds from my HW ever post "recovery", and I'm caught in the awful b/p cycle. It's at least once a day, yesterday it was 5 times in ONE DAY. I can feel the weight coming back, and my loss is stalling. I just ate some cake and mini binged, but I'm forcing myself to not purge in hopes that will deter me from eating and purging in the future, knowing "I can't get rid of it." Although my binges aren't extreme and are just a few hundred calories usually, it stalls my weight loss and makes my body and skin look awful. Someone help me get back on track please. These urges are ridiculous. It's never been this bad someone help me stop please god. I'm at the point of being suicidal if I can't stop this and get back on track.
[Discussion] Do you hate or love sharing food?
/u/biggoldie
Created: Sun Oct 29 17:05:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79juk5/do_you_hate_or_love_sharing_food/
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For as long as I can remember I've hated sharing food. I'm always worried there's not going to be enough for me even though my main ED is anorexia. If someone asks for a piece of what I have I literally feel like I go into survival mode. My normal compassionate and giving reflexes turn primal where I try to give them the least amount possible. I wondered if this was an ED thing but from my google searches it seems people fall into either camp, either you are a food sharer, or your not. My dietitian's husband and daughter don't share food and they don't have an ED. So I'm curious, do you love to share food (or at least don't mind it), or do you hate it as much as I do? If you have sharing food, are you "stingy" in any other area of your life? (I am this way with time and money as well).
[Help] [Help] How much weight will I lose if I stick to under 300 cal?
/u/gawainspussy
Created: Sun Oct 29 17:01:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79jtk0/help_how_much_weight_will_i_lose_if_i_stick_to/
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[removed]
[Discussion] How do you guys keep motivated/ distracted when fasting?
/u/smallsmallersmallest
Created: Sun Oct 29 16:56:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79jsl8/how_do_you_guys_keep_motivated_distracted_when/
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I've just been playing solitaire endlessly but it's getting boring now 😂
[Rant/Rave] Stopped drinking soda for 2 weeks
/u/decima205 [5'6" | SW: 150 | CW: 143 | GW: 110 | 27/F]
Created: Sun Oct 29 15:55:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79jg59/stopped_drinking_soda_for_2_weeks/
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And finally, finally the scale is moving!
I knew all along soda was essentially liquid Satan, but there is such a huge difference between knowing that and feeling guilty every time I drank it... vs. actually doing something about it. I was the type of person who would literally drink a can of Sprite or ginger ale every meal. I would buy the 12-packs at the store and go through one every couple days. I decided halfway through this month that I was going to suck it up and stop drinking it cold.
Now, If I get the craving at a restaurant, I ask for a club soda (carbonated water) instead. When I stop by the store I force myself to keep walking past the teaser stands at the checkout. After 2 weeks of not doing anything else (no change in exercise or diet), I dropped 3 pounds on the scale. I know it's not much, but damn, just from cutting out sugary drinks. I'm on such a high right now there's no way I'm going back.
[Rant/Rave] Under 70kg for the first time in 2 years fuck yess
/u/Rhyanon [5'7" | 152 | 23.74 | -37 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 29 15:38:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79jcng/under_70kg_for_the_first_time_in_2_years_fuck_yess/
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Ye boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Okay actual post now been having a garbage day at my parents and my academic life and mental health feels like its falling apart but then i saw my parents scale in the bathroom and im like "fam ive eaten and drank loads and had no poo so its probs gonna be a bad time but its a scale how can I not god"
so i did and i weighed in a 69 fucking kilograms and now i feel a fucktonne better!!!!!!!!!! hehe lol 69
forreal though its rare this shit brings me anything but misery even when i make it to a goal so this is a nice change
keep on keeping on everyone <3
[Help] Tattoo sessions & restriction
/u/gvrlfixvxr
Created: Sun Oct 29 15:34:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79jbli/tattoo_sessions_restriction/
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So, with the exception of my last session, i've never been restricting around the time of being tattooed. With that being said, my last session in september was a NIGHTMARE. My artist, who has spent dozens of hours with me, was like "uh yeah, this is weird; you're struggling so let's call it a day". She chalked it up to me being on my period, but I had been on my period for a few other sessions before and had NEVER had this problem. SO, my question is this: what can I do to prepare my body better for my session this friday? Obviously, I know i've gotta eat some stuff, but I want to make it count. 24 hrs of fruit bowls? Gatorade? Blood of my enemies?? Idk! I'm not science!
Thanks, bbs
[Tip] Tell me your tips and tricks for fighting the cravings!
/u/agent_philcoulson [5'4" | CW: 140 | GW: 120]
Created: Sun Oct 29 15:18:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79j851/tell_me_your_tips_and_tricks_for_fighting_the/
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[removed]
[Discussion] What are your thoughts on laxatives/gas relief pills? Have you ever struggled with laxative/gas relief abuse with your ED?
/u/fillebonbon
Created: Sun Oct 29 15:13:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79j75c/what_are_your_thoughts_on_laxativesgas_relief/
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[Rant/Rave] I can feel myself getting thinner.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 29 15:12:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79j6wf/i_can_feel_myself_getting_thinner/
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[deleted]
Chia Protein Pudding, 110 cal per 1/2 cup
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 29 15:12:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79j6v3/chia_protein_pudding_110_cal_per_12_cup/
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[removed]
[Help] Stuck at the same weight for a while, how do I get lower?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 29 15:06:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79j5b8/stuck_at_the_same_weight_for_a_while_how_do_i_get/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Foods you used to love that you know you'll never be able to eat comfortably again?
/u/skinthin
Created: Sun Oct 29 14:39:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79izh2/foods_you_used_to_love_that_you_know_youll_never/
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I used to love pizza and soda, now I can't even imagine indulging in either of them, at least without having a panic attack. I just can't imagine myself eating and drinking those things and feeling fine afterwards. I cant imagine eating something and forgetting about it. I envy people who can eat so guilt free, who can decide they want something and not count the calories or decide if they are going to spit it out or purge or take a laxative afterwards or fast for the next 3 days, they just enjoy it and go about their day, not feeling the guilt in their stomachs, not feeling like their body is starting to swell up like a balloon and not fearing what they will see the next time they step on a scale. I used to be that person for a while and now I could never even imagine being someone like that.
[Discussion] D.A.E. worry about Natalie Dyer?
/u/Suusss
Created: Sun Oct 29 14:31:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79ixk0/dae_worry_about_natalie_dyer/
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Like, I get the look - like all the characters are waif-ish (like Winona does the whole stressed out look v well, cigarettes on cigarettes, but that actress is like healthy-looking asf - and all the boys are so young and little-boy-y anyway.
But N is 19 - I think maybe she went to lose weight for the role and it spiraled? or her meal plan is crazii - and yeah, this has been talked about before, but now - with a new season - it's like HIGHLY distracting, to the point I am like wtf Netflix... I just want to know what a take on this is like for other people - like, it would have been way better if they would have addressed it earlier and it could have been plot, esp. as Nancy is the... least wild story arch (and they have blatantly gave her a bra scene, people picking her up scene, looking highly gaunt in the forest scene).
Do you care? Like it's totally her body, and I love the way she looks looool but I am alarmed because I honestly have a literal homosexual crush on her ? She is triggering, but that's my problem - because I want to be her. I think Netflix could have been a little more accountable, as this show is kind of a 'children' themed show (thus appealing to younger audiences, like meself) - but cartoons are also all rail thin, etc. etc.... so idk. I was on the fence about her ED potential until this season. Maybe their department knows, or she has someone she works with?
I watch the show with my SO, who LUVS Nancy (I was trying to talk about Winona and they thought we were talking about Nancy, so I know how they feel about her body essentially lolohno) so it just makes me pause, Hollywood is wack, but to be attractive like that you have to lose some serious cushy parts around your organs.
I hope she's okay.
[Rant/Rave] No desire to eat even during a long fast?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 29 14:25:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79iwa2/no_desire_to_eat_even_during_a_long_fast/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Theres no point in trying to recover anymore. im completely alone now
/u/AccaliaOmg [5'3 | 112| 19.7 | -18 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 29 13:58:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79iq21/theres_no_point_in_trying_to_recover_anymore_im/
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Literally the only person who knew was my boyfriend. He was the one I'd talk to when I was triggered, whenever my mom's bitchy to me (which is quite frequently), and when I wanted to purge. I already felt isolated when only he knew about it. Even though I'll never tell him how I truly feel when he asks me how I'm doing, he knew how to help me feel better . Talking to him helped me avoid purging.
We had a fight the other day because he's frustrated that Im not getting help, that he wants me to get better and all I'm doing is venting (I wish I can get help, but I can't right now because of home circumstances). We agreed I'll stop venting to him, and just vent on my IG (I have one of those dumb ED accounts). But it's not the same. Most of the people on IG are pro-ana/mia, and encourage my disordered behaviours, and in reality are only there for my body checks/eating disorder. I use it to get stuff that I can't tell my BF off my chest, even if they don't care.
I already pretend to everyone else that everything is fine, and now I have to fake it to him too. Don't get me wrong he's absolutely amazing, and I get his frustration with me. I don't want to continue to emotionally drain him. He's already done a lot for me, I can't keep expecting his love and attention whenever I'm distressed.
He was the only one I felt comfortable talking to about it in real life as well. There's no way I'd be able to talk to the solid three friends that I have.
Anyways. I just feel even more alone in my eating disorder now. I was motivated to recover on my own with the BF's support for the sake of my relationship. I don't see a point anymore if I'm just gonna pretend everything is okay to him too. And even though I don't tell him how I'm really feeling, venting was my way to sort of be honest with him in that regard. I guess just keep purging my feelings out then, and continue to destroy myself more until I die.
[Discussion] Is tomorrow anybody else's "This time it's for real" day?
/u/TerracottaFlower [5'6 | CW 133lbs | GW 120lbs | UG 110lbs | -44lbs]
Created: Sun Oct 29 13:20:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79ihjv/is_tomorrow_anybody_elses_this_time_its_for_real/
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Tomorrow is, for real, the day where I change things and finally drop the weight that's clinging to me. I'm going to Oslo on the 15th December and I want to be under 55kg and as close to 50kg as possible.
Any tips, encouragement or ideas would be amazing <3
EDIT: Monday AND the start of the month??
[Rant/Rave] Yay hospital?!
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 63 kg | BMI: 23.4 | -20.5 kg | 21F]
Created: Sun Oct 29 13:06:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79ieex/yay_hospital/
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[removed]
[Help] I can't find the right app
/u/noidea744 [5'3| CW 110.8 | BMI 20|F]
Created: Sun Oct 29 12:43:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79i970/i_cant_find_the_right_app/
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I want one that I can use to track
Water intake
Calories
Exercise
Weight
Measurements
And possibly a few other things but I can't find any that let me track every thing (on android)
[Discussion] Nightmares about binging?
/u/cookiecutterhands
Created: Sun Oct 29 12:27:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79i5ob/nightmares_about_binging/
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Last night was awful. I woke up so many times because I was dreaming that I was eating EVERYTHING. I'd wake up feeling guilty and unsettled, then repeat the cycle of sleeping/binging/dreaming, waking up, sleeping/binging/dreaming.. so on, so forth. In reality, I have been intermittently fasting. I went 52 hours fasting, ate 1/4 of a medium curly fry because I was with friends, and have been fasting about 30 hours since. Does this happen to anyone else? I definitely don't want to deal with that again.
[Tip] Arctic Zero, 150 calories per pint
/u/luxklepto
Created: Sun Oct 29 11:25:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79hrqk/arctic_zero_150_calories_per_pint/
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https://i.redd.it/grdykei20tuz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Bonding over superchic[k]
/u/dipped_in_gold_ [5'3 | CW 117 lbs | GW 105 | 22F]
Created: Sun Oct 29 11:05:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79hn65/bonding_over_superchick/
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On mobile, pls tag as rant/rave mods!
Hosted a small party last night at my apartment, and the prettiest, stick-thin girl ever showed up. Literally y’all, was in shock and awe.
So we’re all sitting around, drinking wine and vodka and god knows what else, and we get on the topic of first concerts. I tell the group that mine was Superchic[k] from back in my Very Christian phase, and the girl immediately says “oh yeah, the band that all the skinny girls who don’t want to eat listen to.” I fangirled so hard; the absolute only way someone would know this is from watching the copious amounts of thinspo vids with Courage and Beauty from Pain in the background.
Anyway, tl;dr found a kindred spirit at the bottom of a giant ass bottle of wine
[Rant/Rave] Fuck food, fuck wanting it
/u/mimidudette [5'8" | CW: 140 | -27 | HW: 172 | GW: 125 | 20F]
Created: Sun Oct 29 10:44:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79hitt/fuck_food_fuck_wanting_it/
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I need someone to tell me that it's okay to want to eat an entire McDonalds double cheeseburger combo meal, that it's okay to eat it, that it's okay to want to want it even though i'm 15 lbs above goal weight and have been eating above maintenance for weeks. I just want to be happy. I want it but I don't deserve it. I want to be able to eat that food and feel joy, like it was something that I was craving and decided to eat, rather than something I have to mull over and cry about and beat myself up over.
I hate knowing that this ED has forever altered food for me. If I go to buy it now and eat it I know I'll still feel empty. I just want to eat the cheeseburger and fries and laugh and watch a movie and be normal and feel happy and okay. I just want someone to tell me that it's okay for me to want food and that it's okay for me to eat it. That people don't need to "deserve" food at all. Someone to hear me say this crap and laugh at the ridiculousness of it,
like "lol what do you mean 'deserve' a cheeseburger?? Eat what you want let's
get mcdicks lmfao" level blase, like the kind of person who is happy with their life and who they are and how they look and so far
removed from ED thinking that it's just impossible to comprehend. I think maybe, just maybe, I could believe them. If I knew they believed it too. But I don't know anyone like that and I doubt they even exist in this fucked up world, where everyone has a weird relationship with food. I want to be able to go get a burger and have it be just a burger. Food, because I'm hungry. Delicious food, because I feel like it. I want
that to be okay. Why can't I stop crying?
[Help] I don't understand...
/u/AnActualBagofLard
Created: Sun Oct 29 10:44:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79hioo/i_dont_understand/
---
I've been fasting for six days, and have been roughly losing a pound a day. I decided to break the fast last night with a grilled chicken salad instead of a massive binge and was really fucking proud of myself. I weigh this morning and I'm 2 pounds heavier. How???? I don't understand and it makes me scared either my scale isn't accurate even though it's brand new or I just can't risk eating. Does anyway know how it's possible?
[Help] Does anyone use laxatives
/u/boohochix
Created: Sun Oct 29 09:35:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79h43j/does_anyone_use_laxatives/
---
Does anyone use laxatives after a bingeing? I can’t stop taking them now
[Other] New gym move - it's called, my apartments freezing so I will do half-wall sits above my heater to burn calories but also be warmer
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 102.9 | 18.8 | -34 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 29 09:26:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79h2cl/new_gym_move_its_called_my_apartments_freezing_so/
---
https://imgur.com/a/mOLml
[Other] Any Life is Strange fans here?
/u/Lidostis4
Created: Sun Oct 29 09:17:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79h0ok/any_life_is_strange_fans_here/
---
Well, first of all, obviously, all the girls in the game are major thinspo lol. I don't even play the thing, just watch others do it on Youtube. It's like a movie and I really have been loving all of it so far. It's a shame there's only three episodes this time. If anyone else watched/played, what are your thoughts?
[Rant/Rave] shower thoughts
/u/posyposer [5’4 | 21.5 | CW: 125 | GW: 115]
Created: Sun Oct 29 08:59:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79gwvy/shower_thoughts/
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This morning I was standing in the shower and I was high and I looked at myself and I thought that I really do want to love my body but that felt like giving up
[Other] Anime irl
/u/ThermalAnvil [15 lbs lost]
Created: Sun Oct 29 08:52:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79gvqy/anime_irl/
---
https://i.redd.it/y7fwqsrs8suz.jpg
[Other] Jesus.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 29 08:41:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79gtqi/jesus/
---
https://imgur.com/7Vralz2
[Other] My favorite food reviewer
/u/athrwoaway123
Created: Sun Oct 29 08:32:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79gs6m/my_favorite_food_reviewer/
---
I wanted to share my new favorite YouTube channel with you all. It’s called Report of the Week (link at the bottom).
The show mainly focuses on fast food places and in some ways disgusts me. But at the same time, the host (who is maybe 20 and kind of an odd duck) is so genuine and unpretentious that I find it inspirational.
Anyways, I don’t expect that this show is for everyone, but I wanted to share in case some of you will like it as I do.
Link:
https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCeR0n8d3ShTn_yrMhpwyE1Q
Edit: removed comment about weight
[Discussion] October 29th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 29 08:04:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79gn8v/october_29th_2017_question_of_the_day/
---
Camping, glamping, or hotel?
(I added on glamping for funsies)
[Rant/Rave] I'm so tired of this struggle.
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 87.8lbs | BMI 16.06ish | GW: 87lbs | 20F]
Created: Sun Oct 29 07:33:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79ghzw/im_so_tired_of_this_struggle/
---
I'm in between a state of recovery and being very deep in this disorder.
I hit 1300 calories yesterday, and I was really proud of that. Today, I'm struggling. I know I need to hit my goal of 1200 in order to make sure that my body is getting used to food. I have to maintain that until my nutritionist appointment.
Idk. Part of me just wants to get thinner. Very badly. I don't think I'm thin enough, and I hit a plateau so I'm not going to be losing on 1200. That being said, I just want to stop feeling awful all the time. I want to eat a piece of cake and be happy. I want to go back to eating dinner with my boyfriend. I want to actually enjoy myself and not be stressed out because I gained half a pound.
I just want this all to go away.
[Rant/Rave] binged 3 days and scale went up 13 pounds
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 29 07:19:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79gfr9/binged_3_days_and_scale_went_up_13_pounds/
---
[deleted]
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your favorite recipes!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Oct 29 06:11:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79g5pd/sunday_share_your_favorite_recipes/
---
Looking for memes? [Right this way~](/r/ProEDmemes)!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 29, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Oct 29 06:10:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79g5nz/daily_food_diary_october_29_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 29, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] My bf barely noticed that I didn't eat for the 48 hours I was around him.
/u/bagelzboi [5'3 | CW:85bs | 21F]
Created: Sun Oct 29 05:18:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79fyzj/my_bf_barely_noticed_that_i_didnt_eat_for_the_48/
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I've been fasting for 6 days and I was around my bf for 48hours of that. He made about two mentions to the fact I should eat something but that was it. Didn't seem too concerned #blessed
[Discussion] How often do you guys weigh yourselves?
/u/tjking333 [5'3ft 💮 CW:126lb 💮 BMI:22 💮 -40lb 💮 GW:100 💮 21F]
Created: Sun Oct 29 04:22:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79fsmj/how_often_do_you_guys_weigh_yourselves/
---
I've recently decided not to weigh myself any more than once a month, because every time I hit a new low weight I screw it up by celebrating with food. Ahahaha. I
My train of thought is basically if I don't know how much I weigh I won't let myself fuck up.
It's just so tempting to do it every day like I'm used to though
[Help] How do you stop yourself from eating other peoples food?
/u/overweightandstress [5'8 | CW: 144 lb | BMI: 21.4 | GW: 127 lb| F]
Created: Sun Oct 29 03:42:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79fo50/how_do_you_stop_yourself_from_eating_other/
---
I live with roommates who have no idea about my binge eating/bulimia and sometimes, especially after drinking, I can't help myself at all. I get so stressed about replacing the food I ate right away but sometimes I can't do it in time and it's causing a lot of trouble. How do you stop yourself?! I feel like such a shitty person
[Help] Unhealthy lunch has stopped me today
/u/bettervern
Created: Sun Oct 29 03:15:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79fl6m/unhealthy_lunch_has_stopped_me_today/
---
I’ve an unhealthy lunch today at work, ~500-600 cals but it included croissant and snickers.
How do I deal with this?
I want to be able to just enjoy that as a little treat but now I hate myself again!
Do I skip dinner tonight to make up for it or do I just carry on as normal and acknowledge that it was ok to have it?
[Other] I've gained six pounds but I'm not going to let it get me down!!
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 102.9 | 18.8 | -34 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 29 03:10:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79fko3/ive_gained_six_pounds_but_im_not_going_to_let_it/
---
I tried a brief period of recovering. It's been a month, and I can't stand the way my thighs look, its revolting. So, I'm back at it folks! I'm trying to not get myself down, because I think at least a portion of this is water weight, but I'm going to get it off as quickly as possible. Cheers to everyone on their journeys.. and wish me luck getting back on mine
[Discussion] Serious question, why is r/proed tagline "fringe eating support"?
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 102.9 | 18.8 | -34 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 29 02:17:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79ff00/serious_question_why_is_rproed_tagline_fringe/
---
This might be really dumb but I've always wondered..
[Other] This killed my appetite so hard...
/u/RichardStarrkey [6'0 | CW:60kg | GW:55kg | M]
Created: Sun Oct 29 02:11:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79fea8/this_killed_my_appetite_so_hard/
---
https://imgur.com/yNyTNDo
[Intro] Tues' Intro
/u/nekotues [Female | 5'4" | cw: 90lbs | ugw: 75lbs]
Created: Sun Oct 29 01:31:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79fabh/tues_intro/
---
I’m Tues, a 26-year-old female who was diagnosed with EDNOS (now OSFED) at 16-years-old.
Dx: C-PTSD, Anxiety, EDNOS, Depression, Agoraphobia with panic attacks, ADD
I have lurked r/proED off and on, because I just feel incapable of connecting with those around me. I’m just looking for understanding people to connect with and I hope I will find that here.
I am currently in quite the rut and unfortunately going to be mostly stuck in it until I move in the middle of next year and can really get some sort of a life started. The only thing I’m about to start working on outside of personal growth things (like drawing, writing, and exercising) is getting my driver’s license before my permit expires in May.
I would really like to get know you all more and I hope we may find whatever support we need in each other. If you have any questions for me, just ask.
Also, if any of you have a Kik group or wish to start one please send me a chat about it on Kik. My username is nekotues.
Thank you for taking the time to read this,
Tues
[Help] Ahhh going crazy
/u/UnforgivingLoaf
Created: Sun Oct 29 00:37:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79f4mg/ahhh_going_crazy/
---
I have been losing weight pretty quickly with my relapse but now I’ve plateaued so I tried to shock my body by taking in a few more calories. This morning I was still 108 which I’ve been at for like 3 days days now. Just weighed myself again and it now says I’m 111!?!!!!????!? I don’t understand this at all. Guess I’m going to fast for a couple days until I can break this. Has anyone else experienced this? Or am I just somehow gaining weight while not eating?
[Rant/Rave] Periods
/u/unpollutedfantasy [🥒]
Created: Sun Oct 29 00:31:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79f3z9/periods/
---
My period has been completely regular, right on time, predictable, like clockwork
This just makes me feel really fat because I lose my period at like a BMI of 21, which is kinda weird tbh, but that's just how my body works
So having a perfectly healthy menstrual cycle makes me feel fat.
This is actually the stupidest thing to complain about
[Rant/Rave] I don’t hate my wedding pictures!
/u/littlebirbb [5'7" | -38]
Created: Sun Oct 29 00:19:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79f2kx/i_dont_hate_my_wedding_pictures/
---
I only lost about half the weight I wanted to :( I had been restricting really well for a few months, I can’t work out so I have to compensate by eating only as often as I absolutely have to. But there was a lot going on before the wedding. I was super stressed, I actually semi-binged once or twice. There was some wild family drama. I decided, fuck it, I’m not letting my stupid food brain mess this up. I’m going to relax and I’ll eat when I’m hungry and we’ll see how things go after the wedding. I put a few pounds back on, but I still got to wear a size 8 wedding dress (I was in a snug 14 when I was binging most often/extremely depressed, so) and I don’t hate my pictures. I actually felt kind of cute. It was a wedding miracle.
Now I’m back, I lost the few pounds I had gained back, and I’ve got some neat rewards lined up (for fasts lasting x, y, and z time, pounds lost, sizes dropped, some other special goals!) and I’m feeling motivated. I’ve been back on a fairly low-cal regimen and I feel good about it. Vegan halo top is a thing now, which makes me incredibly happy. Haven’t binged in a long time now. My medication helps, but also I just don’t buy any binge-worthy food anymore, except that halo top lol.
Also, super random... I used to hate apples. Not sure why. Too crunchy? I don’t like tart ones especially but I never liked apples. Over the last few months, my husband and I have been getting a weekly local farm produce box. YOU GUYS. I have eaten an apple a day every day for the last like three weeks. I found the right kind. And now when my husband has lunch or popcorn or some other shit, I peel and slice an apple and eat that over the course of like an hour. And it’s so good. And I feel better eating that. New safe food love!
I’m going to go back to a psychiatrist when I get on his insurance. I know they’re going to have me go through the whooooole thing over again but it might be good. There’s been a lot of stress and sadness lately (wedding was a thing, my family is batshit crazy, my best friend’s baby boy died, food stuff, work stuff) and I need to keep my mind in shape so I don’t go binge and fuck it all up worse. 🌈
[Help] how to do tinder/dating with ED??
/u/salviaplath_13 [5'1 | CW: 110 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 28 22:51:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79ertf/how_to_do_tinderdating_with_ed/
---
I badly want to be stable enough to date. I'm in my 20's and haven't had a relationship since I was 15. I don't even care what it leads to, I just want to go on a freaking date without hating myself. Cue me making a tinder this week due to friends urging. I met a super cute guy for drinks on thursday, talked for 3 hours straight then he took me for a ride on his motorcycle. Best first date I've had in 2 years. This morning he picked me up from my house and we went rock climbing (our shared passion). Despite having a good time, I had an anxiety attack immediately when I got home because I started to catastrophize that he wasn't into me and would probably ghost me. My reasoning? Because he didn't try to make plans or kiss me, just said "let me know if you want to hang out again" when dropping me off. So in my panic I started b/p'ing at like 1 in the afternoon. I'm not even doing *that* bad right now, I'm keeping myself under control most of the time. But putting my self esteem and feelings on the line is triggering af for my ed. I know the logical answer is "don't date until you're fully recovered" but then I could be waiting my whole life.
[Discussion] What do YOU consider high restricting?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 28 22:24:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79eo67/what_do_you_consider_high_restricting/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Before all this I actually had something to look forward to everyday
/u/lavenderbruises [5'9"|CW 111| GW 100| BMI 16| 19F]
Created: Sat Oct 28 22:04:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79el1j/before_all_this_i_actually_had_something_to_look/
---
Im in university and for the past two years, I’ve had a meal plan. I could eat an unlimited amount of food and it was just magical. Eating in the caf or ordering something from the grill was the highlight of my day. I could stuff my face with bacon, mashed potatoes, French fries, sandwiches, oatmeal, chips, waffles, fried chicken, pizza, pasta, cheese, chocolate cake, pie, tarts, and wash it all down with orange soda and apple juice.
It was a way of de-stressing after classes. It was a time of talking and spending time with my friends or just a time to relax by myself.
This year I don’t have a meal plan. This year my diet consists of toast, coke zero, cabbage soup, cauliflower rice, and more cabbage. I eat every meal by myself. I don’t have anything to look forward to after a long day. All I have are the same bland repetitive meals and memories of what real food tasted like.
And I think that’s what I miss the most about eating.
Embarking on a 36 hour fast. Does anyone want to join me?
/u/miracleunicat [5'6 | CW: 110 | GW: 85]
Created: Sat Oct 28 22:02:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79eks2/embarking_on_a_36_hour_fast_does_anyone_want_to/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] Thinspo Workout Music?
/u/DootDeeDootDeeDoo [5'0 | CW: 225 | -57 | GW: 100 | UGW: 80]
Created: Sat Oct 28 21:07:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79ecnk/thinspo_workout_music/
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I'm trying to build a playlist of thinspo music to play when fasting or exercising to keep my head in the game.
What music do yall listen to that's ED/body related?
Ideally, I want a mix of both positive and "negative" inspiration music, so if anyone has any songs that pump them up for self-betterment, * OR* help them remember to not be complacent with their body as-is, I'd appreciate it.
I like all genres of music, all languages, and from all time, so feel free to suggest anything.
My list so far (Artist-Title)
The White Striped - As Ugly As I Seem
Mumford & Sons - Little Lion Man
R.Kelly -The World's Greatest
Kanye West - Power
DMX - Ruff Ryders' Anthem
D'Mixmasters (originally Eminem) - Till I Collapse Remix
Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame - Out There
Disney's Moana - How Far I'll Go
Disney's Hercules - Go The Distance
Superchick - Beauty From Pain
P.S.
Can *anyone* tell me why it's called thinspO and not thinspI? The word is inspIration not inspOration. Just something random that's bugged me.
[Rant/Rave] Why the hell have the calories on Quest bars changed again?
/u/Dr0pDex [172cm | 45.3kg | 15.04]
Created: Sat Oct 28 20:37:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79e7zt/why_the_hell_have_the_calories_on_quest_bars/
---
Several bars just went up by 10 calories; I double-checked this on their site. Cinnamon roll is now 180, s'mores is 190, cookies n' creme, mint chocolate chip, and cookie dough are 200, and rocky road is 210.
At the end of the day, it shouldn't *really* concern me (it's 10 calories), but it does, because what if they just slowly keep creeping up? Why is Quest being quiet about this change in nutritional info? The reason several of the bars previously bumped up (back in the glory days cookies n' creme was 180 and cinnamon roll was 160) was because of the fiber change. I can't find a valid reason for the info to have changed in this case. God, everything already makes me paranoid, I don't need my protein bars betraying me on top of it.
[Discussion] How long and at what amount have you managed to restrict for?
/u/edgy-af
Created: Sat Oct 28 19:41:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79dywt/how_long_and_at_what_amount_have_you_managed_to/
---
I obsessively use the losertown calculator. I’m trying to get myself down to a calorie allowance that I like again and I wanna know how long you’ve managed to restrict for. I’m nervous that <800 will make me go on like a year long binge cycle, but anyway, I’d just really love to hear your experiences.
(On mobile, can’t flair)
[Discussion] DAE hate eating?
/u/Lady-Lizzy
Created: Sat Oct 28 19:39:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79dyld/dae_hate_eating/
---
I'd rather just drink everything and anything. Like, if I could *drink* a cheesecake, I'd rather do that.
The actual process of eating and swallowing food just pisses me off.
[Rant/Rave] Out of control.
/u/i_am_awful
Created: Sat Oct 28 19:11:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79du1e/out_of_control/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] What do you think is the underlying cause of your ED?
/u/haroshinka [Height 5'3|CW 45.2kg |BMI 17.7|Weight Lost 13|Gender F]
Created: Sat Oct 28 18:30:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79dn2b/what_do_you_think_is_the_underlying_cause_of_your/
---
I was reading an article on the types of traits that people with eating disorders are more likely to exhibit, which acted as a catalyst for me to reflect on how many of these traits I see in myself and to what extent do they affect my self perception and disordered eating.
For example, I am a massive perfectionist in all aspects of my life. Academically, I set the highest standards for myself, and in a similar way that I currently do with my ED, I measured my worth through my ability to maintain those self invoked standards.
I also think a large part of it is to do with control over my own body. This time last year I was raped, and I felt a fundamental part of my autonomy was torn from me. In a twisted way, I feel like my ED was my own personal way of regaining control of my body.
What do you think are some of the potential underlying reasons for your eating disorder?
[Help] How to recover from a "fake" eating disorder?
/u/whitelilac29
Created: Sat Oct 28 18:00:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79dhmf/how_to_recover_from_a_fake_eating_disorder/
---
I have never been diagnosed with an eating disorder, and part of me is in denial, but honestly I'm pretty sure I have one, probably ednos. I feel like it's "fake" though, because I eat a lot. I binge most days. I also restrict sometimes though, so I don't really know. I haven't gotten my period in months, I was underweight at one point, I'm tired all the time, I have low self esteem and would rather be underweight than the healthy weight that I am now. Something really just isn't right. I want this to end. I want to "recover", but I don't know if I can say that since I don't actually have an eating disorder. My goal would be to be able to eat 1200-1500 calories a day consistently. Everytime I try to do that, I just go right back to binging or restricting. It seems like such a simple goal, but so impossible. Has anyone been able to start eating consistently after binging and restricting, and can someone give me advice on how I can do that? I just want to feel normal again.
[Help] just hit highest wait ever and I weigh more than anyone else in my family ama
/u/get-it_together [5'3" | hahaha kill me | UGW 130 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 28 17:29:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79dcas/just_hit_highest_wait_ever_and_i_weigh_more_than/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] 48hr into 120hr fast. My thinspo, my vices.
/u/murdermttens
Created: Sat Oct 28 17:07:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79d8hq/48hr_into_120hr_fast_my_thinspo_my_vices/
---
https://imgur.com/gallery/2bTX0
[Help] tips for not binging
/u/ScrunchiesandDraino [❤️5’8”💛cw:260💚gw:145💙|🍑@bulimiaisso87]
Created: Sat Oct 28 16:21:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79czyv/tips_for_not_binging/
---
so i have no control over my eating habits.i’m 19, in college and living at home. and by this time next year ill be living on my own which i am SO HAPPY ABOUT. long story short: my parents buy garbage food and i apparently can’t stop eating it.
so, i’m trying to lose a lot of weight rn and binging on junk is really slowing my progress, i’ve lost about 15lbs in about a month and a half, but with my ~1200kcal a day limit i would be losing more if i stuck to it.
anyways i was just wondering if you all had any tips on stopping a binge or avoiding one because this past week has sucked and i need help.
also to note: i am really good at sticking to my goals on days that i’m at school all day or at work all day, it’s days where i’m home for the majority that i fuck up.
[Rant/Rave] I just accidentally let something slip to a friend
/u/cookiecutterhands
Created: Sat Oct 28 16:00:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79cvwc/i_just_accidentally_let_something_slip_to_a_friend/
---
So, long story short, I just told my friend to hurry in the bathroom because "these laxatives are kicking my ass." Luckily, I realized what I was fucking saying right at "*these laxati...*" and just walked away from the door mumbling whatever nonsense came to my head in a panic. I know she's not stupid and I'm scared she's gonna say something to me, so I just left her house before she got out of the restroom.
*Please* tell me that I'm not the only one who has done something this stupid.
[Rant/Rave] stuck in a physics-defying plateau
/u/edthrowawaywhoops [5'9"| CW: 130| GW: Kate Middleton| F|🍑:Whoopsie]
Created: Sat Oct 28 15:42:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79cskr/stuck_in_a_physicsdefying_plateau/
---
The past 2 months I've been on a plateau that I cannot seem to break- I weigh out all my food (even the oil I use to cook with) and have averaged 1250cal/day (sometimes I've gone over but I've always made up for it by low restricting until it evens out) and my sedentary TDEE is 1650, and I've been exercising....and I can't seem to break 130! UGHHHHHH I'm supposed to be 125 by now and nothing is going according to plan and it's making me so anxious that I wont be able to get to my UGW (120/119) by xmas :( :( :(
[Rant/Rave] Pear shape rant
/u/loratail [5'5 | CW: 111 | GW: 99 | 27f]
Created: Sat Oct 28 15:24:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79cp1f/pear_shape_rant/
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Over my past 3 measurements my waist has gone from 26.5 to 24.8, my hips from 36 to 33.4, but my thighs?
Every time it's 18, 18, 18.
They won't budge even a fraction of an inch.
My husband is trying to work with me to maintain where I am for now (bless him for not trying to force me to gain weight right away) but I still feel so disgusting that it's been hard to up my intake. Any other pear shapes have similar struggles or tips? I'm not sure what I'm looking for really, I know you can't spot reduce... I maybe just need to find a way to come to terms with my body shape?
[Help] Tragedy!
/u/kVIIIwithan8 [64'' | 142lbs | 24.37 | 30lbs | F]
Created: Sat Oct 28 15:23:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79couc/tragedy/
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Alright, beautiful people. I’m about to say something that I really, honestly never thought I would say.
I’m done losing weight. This is it. I’ve hit my goal. I can’t get any smaller than this. I don’t want to get smaller than this.
But here’s the really tragic thing: I’m still unhappy. I’m trying to look at this from the most objective possible position to avoid crying about it, but it’s true. I’m still not very happy with my body. I see the bones across my chest, my ribs, my hips, my fingers. I see them looking just the way I pictured them for all these years when I imagined what I’d look like when I finally hit my goal and instead of being happy and empowered, I’m disgusted.
I know I look better than I did before, my partner thinks I look better than I did before (even commented that he likes how I’ve slimmed down and said “you know what I even if it wasn’t through exercise, I think you paced yourself well enough that you lost the weight healthfully”), but my god, I can’t get it out of my head how horrifyingly disgusting I look.
I thought for a while that I didn’t care, I could wear the clothes I wanted, I was comfortable eating every day, but I saw myself naked and that comfort evaporated. I’m terrified of gaining weight, terrified of losing weight, and desperate to stop looking like this.
Have any of you been in this position? What did you do to get out of it?
Edit: my flair is wrong, I’m no longer in the 140s, I’m now closer to 110/105.
[Other] I just purged for the first time in 3 years. Wondering how this is going to turn out this time around.
/u/kaitmichele
Created: Sat Oct 28 15:12:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79cmqr/i_just_purged_for_the_first_time_in_3_years/
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Don’t know what I’m really hoping to get out of posting this, but I guess I’m getting it off my chest since I can’t tell anyone around me. I’m really good at making myself into other people’s problem, and I’m trying to be better than that.
Last night a casual lover of mine came over, we had a good time, and he stayed the night. This morning, he started kissing me and moved on top of me, and I let him, but suddenly everything felt very wrong and painful. I don’t think he heard me when I said “it hurts”, and for whatever reason (long standing issues w/ this), I couldn’t bring myself to tell him to stop so I just pretended everything was fine. He finished, soon after we parted ways for the day.
It’s such a minor, stupid event, but it just triggered something in me. Obviously I don’t fault him for anything, he didn’t know I was having a bad time of it. But after like 4 hours, I was in a coffee shop with my friend eating some food and I thought about this morning and I just felt like turning inside out. I don’t exactly feel violated, I just hate myself for being a coward who couldn’t speak up. And I got to thinking of all the other times I couldn’t speak up, and then worse, all the times before that when I’d tried to and it had just ended poorly for me. And then the times that I’d tried to explain to men who professed to love me this issue I have with saying “no” or “stop”, which is pretty much rooted in history of those requests being ignored, and each of them told me they didn’t really want to hear about that.
I don’t really understand what it was about that line of mental inquiry that provoked the intense need to rid myself of everything I’d just eaten... I wasn’t feeling physically ill about it, I just needed to purge. So I did, and it didn’t help at all but at least I’m empty now. I can’t even drink water right now without immediately wanting to purge it.
I’d forgotten the strange, familiar pleasantness of this suffering — the shivering, the knots in my stomach, the lightheadedness. Honestly I don’t really care if I start purging or restricting again as long as bingeing doesn’t enter the picture. Or cutting. Can’t have anyone know about this.
[Help] Currently being forced to get all you can eat Korean bbq
/u/flaaffyusedthunder
Created: Sat Oct 28 15:01:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79ckno/currently_being_forced_to_get_all_you_can_eat/
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Every bite makes me want to kill myself. How do I get through this? :(
[Help] benefits of water pills?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 28 14:47:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79chu8/benefits_of_water_pills/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] First day of fast and way more exercise!
/u/hauntologie
Created: Sat Oct 28 14:27:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79cdum/first_day_of_fast_and_way_more_exercise/
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I weighed in at 132.5 today and at 5’2” that’s unacceptable, so I’m starting a fast again today! It’s usually difficult to fast because I’m a T1D and my blood sugar drops to really low levels but I’m going to try to work around that by lowering my insulin levels significantly so I can lose weight faster.
I’ve already done 40 crunches today (20 regular crunches, 20 twist crunches) and just did a wallsit for a minute. I’m excited to keep this up throughout the day. I’m hoping to be down to 100 lbs by January 1st and I’m not going to give up!
Told my mom about my ED and she recommended me to go on a diet and to stop “obsessing over food” so I’m doing just that lol.
[Discussion] What BMI do you think MOST people look best at?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 28 13:46:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79c5kg/what_bmi_do_you_think_most_people_look_best_at/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Do any of you guys think you'll magically stop losing fat and just be stuck at the same weight with no choice but to starve for nothing?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 28 13:35:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79c3h1/do_any_of_you_guys_think_youll_magically_stop/
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[deleted]
[Help] my worst binge ever. everything hurts. can't sleep i'm so full. please help.
/u/seawardwaves [5'8" | cw~129 gw~115]
Created: Sat Oct 28 13:03:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79bwwz/my_worst_binge_ever_everything_hurts_cant_sleep/
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last night i binged. i had pizza with a friend last night, and i planned to only have 3 or so pieces. which is a lot, but under my tdee bc i fasted most the day beforehand.
but in the middle of the day i fucked up. i was with my bf and i decided i could eat one cookie. and i did, i only had one. but that one cookie fucked me over so hard. i didn't plan to eat it, and the thought of how badly i had fucked up lingered in the back of my head all day.
so when it finally came to eating with my friend, i had 6 slices of pizza, and some carrot cake. which put me basically at my tdee.
and then later when i got home, my mum had bought pizza earlier that she said was in the fridge if i wanted any. and that was it for me, binge mode activated. i had three slices of that pizza, a chocolate-covered ice cream bar, and a huge thing of pound cake covered in whipped cream. i'm not gonna count how many calories, but probably pushing 4000 total for the day.
and i felt so sick. i thought i was gonna throw up, not bc i wanted to, but bc i felt so sick. i couldn't sleep. i would wake up every 45 minutes in pain, my stomach feeling like it was gonna explode, and i just felt so weak and ugh.
now i've woken up and i just feel so dead. my throats kinda hurts. i feel kinda sick. my stomach still feels like it's gonna explode. moving hurts so bad. i can't find it in me to believe its gonna be ok, that i can start over today. i'm supposed to hang out with my bf tonight. i don't know what to do. how am i supposed to recover from this?
i was doing so well. finally under 128, essentially having made my halloween goal. i can't even cry, i feel so emotionless and dead.
edit~ went downstairs and realized i also ate a couple hundred calories worth of cookies i forgot about goddammit. what is wrong with me. i didn't use to be like this.
edit 2~ on the upside, a massive bm happened thanks to all the food in my stomach, first bm in a week :)
[Help] Calories from chewing&spitting?
/u/carlems [5'2| CW: 101,8 | GW: 97 | -19]
Created: Sat Oct 28 12:18:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79bnki/calories_from_chewingspitting/
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Sooo I've gone to the next level in the game of The Fucked Up ED and just c/s for the first time my binge food, a Snickers (243 calories) and a chocolate bar (495). Even though I spat out everything I could, I know a part of their calories are still consumed in me.. so does someone have any idea how much that (approx.) would be?
[Goal] Love my progress board. It’s helped so much. I’ve lost 14 lbs and 2” all around in 8 weeks 😍. My goal is to lose 20 more by the time it’s filled out.
/u/dbk1982 [5'2" 35F |SW 214 | CW 200 | LW 140| UGW 115]
Created: Sat Oct 28 12:09:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79bln4/love_my_progress_board_its_helped_so_much_ive/
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https://i.redd.it/6kyqxwb33muz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Even when on the struggle bus, take time for self care when you can
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Sat Oct 28 12:06:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79bl1z/even_when_on_the_struggle_bus_take_time_for_self/
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I’m deep in struggle bus relapse territory and hating this fake maintenance crap but despite the anxiety of resting and giving myself a break, I’m doing it. None of us deserve this, so in the moments when self care pops up as an idea, take it sometimes. I’m in bed trying to not freak the fuck out for planning to not listen to my ED for 36 hours. It’s been the usual 6 days of massive restriction and I’ve been active for literally more than 24 hours in the past day (hit 100,000 steps for the first time...win? ED says yes). It sounds crazy to attempt to balance self care with ED which is by definition self destructive but we all deserve some harm mitigation. I’ve felt so alone for years and while I’m better than my worst, I’m not at my best but I have this community to thank for making me feel less alone in all that is my daily struggle.
[Rant/Rave] Meds
/u/mildolconf [5'9" | 134.2 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 28 11:42:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79bfve/meds/
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I've been on Zoloft since April... well supposed to have been except I've sucked at taking it the past month-2 months. Trying to take it regularly again and pros: it KILLS my appetite so heckya. Cons: I. Am. So. Tired. And I'm a server at a fast-paced restaurant so I need all the energy (I've never been a coffee/caffeine/energy drink person). SOS trying to get through this first week back on regularly and then I should wake up.
[Tip] Suzie’s Thin Puffed Cakes make a delicious 70 calorie sandwich 🤗
/u/dbk1982 [5'2" 35F |SW 214 | CW 200 | LW 140| UGW 115]
Created: Sat Oct 28 11:41:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79bfs7/suzies_thin_puffed_cakes_make_a_delicious_70/
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https://i.redd.it/rxc3cq22yluz.jpg
[Other] Counting calories is way easier when I just don’t eat
/u/gettingagrip4 [5'3" | Baby Hippo | 22 | -70 | 31F]
Created: Sat Oct 28 10:19:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79ayyl/counting_calories_is_way_easier_when_i_just_dont/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Disgusted.
/u/fluentsyntax
Created: Sat Oct 28 10:10:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79ax9j/disgusted/
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I got wasted last night and ate a fried chicken sandwich in the bar bathroom. Tried to throw it up immediately..but I think I was just too drunk. I’m really pissed at myself and I hope it doesn’t derail my restriction process. I’ve been eating very little, but I guess I binged a little bit yesterday. I’m just gonna fast all weekend. Sorry for the vent. It looks like I put on more flab just from yesterday.
[Discussion] Most Beautiful Sports for Slender Bodies?
/u/i-cannot-tell-you [5' 0"| 106 | 21.8 | -35 | f]
Created: Sat Oct 28 10:03:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79avqe/most_beautiful_sports_for_slender_bodies/
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[removed]
[Discussion] October 28th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 28 09:37:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79aqoa/october_28th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What do you think is completely ridiculous?
[Rant/Rave] Last night a girl I like noticed me
/u/AugustusMarius [5'1|CW 200|GW 110|-20|22/M]
Created: Sat Oct 28 08:24:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79acu7/last_night_a_girl_i_like_noticed_me/
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I've been talking to this girl who is way too beautiful for me to even be on her radar;
But last night she said "everytime I talk to you, you've forgotten to eat."
My heart soared, I was so proud. I worried that I'd be found out, but mostly I felt like I may deserve attention from people like her someday.
How messed up is that?
[Rant/Rave] I’m not doing this for any guy
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 28 07:53:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79a7lh/im_not_doing_this_for_any_guy/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Is anyone else here fat? I feel embarrassed even posting, like I'm not skinny enough to fast or purge.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 28 07:01:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/799z6d/is_anyone_else_here_fat_i_feel_embarrassed_even/
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[deleted]
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! October 28, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Oct 28 06:11:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/799ryd/stupid_questions_saturday_october_28_2017/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for October 28, 2017.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 28, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Oct 28 06:09:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/799rsa/daily_food_diary_october_28_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 28, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Other] This morning I've been binging so much...
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 102.9 | 18.8 | -34 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 28 03:56:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/799c1a/this_morning_ive_been_binging_so_much/
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on tea and studying for my masters course!! hope everyone is having an ok day and if its not going so swell right now that it will turn around soon <3 I'm feeling quite positive today so if anyone needs some cheering up or help, feel free to dm me <3 <3
[Rant/Rave] Started my 48h fast at 57.1kg...
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 57.1kg | BMI 18.86 |- 15kg | GW 52kg | 24F]
Created: Sat Oct 28 03:25:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7998o0/started_my_48h_fast_at_571kg/
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[removed]
[Help] strong appetite suppressants that work for you guys?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18| f | 22]
Created: Sat Oct 28 02:58:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7995my/strong_appetite_suppressants_that_work_for_you/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Just saw a picture of myself...
/u/bigfaninasmallworld [5 feet 🍰 | CW: 88 lbs | GW: 100 lbs | UGW: 98 lbs | 20 F 🍒 |]
Created: Sat Oct 28 02:42:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7993za/just_saw_a_picture_of_myself/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Anyone with anxiety induced/restriction insomnia? What are you up to?
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Sat Oct 28 00:52:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/798ruy/anyone_with_anxiety_inducedrestriction_insomnia/
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What do you do when you just can’t sleep and all you’re thinking about is food? Normal person would say eat, I say...elliptical with loud music to block out the noise. How do you occupy a busy brain?
[Thinspo] Non-ED movies or TV series with super skinny actresses?
/u/_comethrowawaywithme
Created: Sat Oct 28 00:42:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/798qry/noned_movies_or_tv_series_with_super_skinny/
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TW: substance abuse mentioned
So I don't condone this behavior or encourage others to normalize it and I don't think any of us do. I figure we're all here not necessarily to embrace but accept our neuroses and discuss our lives without persecution.
With that disclaimer out of the way, I need to see some skinny bitches. :| It's a fiendish need too.., kinda reminiscent of that feeling of needing another bump of coke... and another and another and how'd I end up here?! 8 hours later
I've been up scrolling through Instagram and it's basically the same low quality, grainy posts over and over. I quit Tumblr for good a while ago and I'm not interested in diving back into that community.
Right now I just want to unwind with a movie and while still fulfilling my thinspo obsession. I've seen all ED related features about a million times already. Fringe stuff like Girl, Interrupted and lifetime mush included.
Do you have any suggestions? Thanks birds.
XOXO be safe and remember you're LOVED (srs)
[Discussion] Thanksgiving plans?
/u/lordjoji [5'3" | CW: 105 | 19.11 | CGW: 100 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 27 23:13:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/798fbq/thanksgiving_plans/
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As the title asks, what are those in the U.S. planning to do for Thanksgiving this year? I still haven't decided whether I want to water fast for a week beforehand so I can eat "normally" with my family (normal for them is a 1000 cal meal) or just stick to a 200-500 cal plan and tell them that I've gone vegetarian or something to get out of eating some of the foods. Also, I'm a college student in a state far away from my family so I'm a bit nervous about explaining my weight loss to them and especially to my mother who is already worried about me :/
[Help] Trying to get to 115 pounds on November 24th (check out my diet plan and please tell me this will work lol)
/u/gawainspussy
Created: Fri Oct 27 22:13:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7986xm/trying_to_get_to_115_pounds_on_november_24th/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I can't keep ED voice contained when I drink
/u/CeciNestPasOP [5'8" | CW 127 | 19.3 | HW 165 | LW 112 | 22F]
Created: Fri Oct 27 21:56:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7984am/i_cant_keep_ed_voice_contained_when_i_drink/
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So I finally made an account and stopped lurking because I have a rant, and I feel like y'all are the only ones that will not judge me for this.
Last weekend I went to a party with my girlfriend, who is 1) the most amazing person I have ever met, and 2), a professional model and fittingly stunning. I kind of always feel undeserving of her, but the past few weeks especially so. I also don't drink much normally, and am 10-15 pounds down since the last time I was drunk. Add me trying to keep up with her freakish alcohol tolerance, and I do not remember most of the night. I do know I was over the toilet for a lot of it.
Highlights from what I *do* remember include: obsessing loudly to GF (between heaves) that I am four pounds away from being underweight, thus "four pounds away from deserving you", yelling "you can't make me eat" repeatedly, and trying to induce vomiting in front of her.
She has been wonderful, understanding, and supportive ever since, but holy shit am I embarrassed. Out of curiosity, does anyone else's ED thoughts spill out when drunk?
[Discussion] DAE wish they could have a pro-ed friend IRL??
/u/water_77 [🍀🌺🍀]
Created: Fri Oct 27 21:43:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79827h/dae_wish_they_could_have_a_proed_friend_irl/
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Honestly the online friends doesn't do it for me anymore. I really wish I could have an ED best friend or something. Or at least a health junkie who isn't afraid to push the limits.
Ate today
/u/itsmeandthemoon [5'3 | 279 | 50.79 | Female]
Created: Fri Oct 27 20:42:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/797str/ate_today/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Envy
/u/aceshighsays [5'2" | C: 110.2 | -27.8 | F | G: 99]
Created: Fri Oct 27 20:27:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/797qdy/envy/
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October hasn't been a good month for me. With each day my appetite increases and I'm having a very difficult time keeping any food in the house. Honestly, I can't even make it that far. Too many times I buy food and then immediately eat it, no matter where I am. It's like I lose all sense.
I just came home from an outing. We had a large dinner and I finished my meal. A couple of the guys I was with wanted to get more food and I really wanted to join them but I knew I couldn't - I didn't want them to think that I was a fat fuck having dinner after having dinner. I hate this double standard, where it's ok for a guy to do it, but it's not ok for a girl.
During my commute home I saw a girl standing casually by the door holding a pizza box. I kept looking at her wondering how she was able to not care about the food inside the box. I mean, multiple times I've asked for my left overs to be wrapped up, only to shove the food in my mouth as soon as I was out of the restaurant. I binge in public often...
After I got off the train immediately I went to a pizza store and ordered 3 slices of pizza. I ate one slice on my way home and I just finished eating the other 2. If I had money I'd go downstairs and get Mexican food, but dinner excluding pizza was $130 - it was supposed to be $40. Fuck me. I'm **still famished** but I can't afford food.
I feel like my stomach is an endless pit.
I just don't understand how the girl could be so casual with the pizza box...
[Discussion] Had a binge and feeling terrible
/u/Swarelle [5'3" | CW: 57.5kg | GW: 50kg]
Created: Fri Oct 27 20:25:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/797q3v/had_a_binge_and_feeling_terrible/
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Mostly physically (I haven't been this full in a long time...), at least I've been getting better about feeling guilty and discouraged! I'm happy that I'm moving towards a supportive and self-caring attitude...
BUT I just wish this ~2500 calorie overconsumption won't ruin a week's worth of self control, and dang my stomach has been feeling bloated for like two hours now.
I'd love to hear if you all have experienced this, how you got over the physical and psychological suckiness, and if it had a big impact on your weight in the short run!
[Discussion] Do you guys eat after purging dinner?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 27 20:13:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/797o08/do_you_guys_eat_after_purging_dinner/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] very happy (:
/u/dyingtobepretty
Created: Fri Oct 27 19:59:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/797lry/very_happy/
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i started my new job today. ive been feeling so insecure i was terrified everyone would hate me, but everyone was so cool. i was also worried i was going to pass out since i haven't eaten in a few days and that has happened to me many times in the past, but i felt fantastic the entire time (other than feeling pretty faint on the drive home). it's a super fast paced environment so i was moving around a lot. i wish i could have had my phone on me bc i'd really like to have counted my steps; i know i burned sooooo many calories. this job is going to be so great for me, i couldn't be more excited.
[Rant/Rave] So much of my hair just fell out
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 87.8lbs | BMI 16.06ish | GW: 87lbs | 20F]
Created: Fri Oct 27 18:38:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7977zv/so_much_of_my_hair_just_fell_out/
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I'm dying my hair tonight (more like tinting it)
I dread showers because of the amount of hair that always end up sloughing off and going down the drain. It was especially bad today, despite eating 800 calories a day lately.
It was such a massive clump. And it just kept going and going. The more time I spent in there, the more than came out.
Then, I had to brush my hair very lightly with a comb for the dye to get all the way through... it was a nightmare. So. Much. Hair. Was wrapped around the comb.
I'm so sick of this. I used to have big beautiful naturally wavy hair. Now it's flat and barely curls. I have a receding hairline. I'm so pissed.
I need to recover, but I'm so scared. So fucking scared.
[Discussion] Who else prefers wearing more revealing clothes?
/u/fruitandfood [🦊 5'7" | 129.4 | 20.2 | F 🌻]
Created: Fri Oct 27 18:30:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7976ls/who_else_prefers_wearing_more_revealing_clothes/
---
I *way* prefer summer and wearing short shorts and baggy cropped shirts, I feel like they are just way more flattering
Even this week, I was crazy bloated but I still wore short shorts and just huge jackets to cover the bloat
I've also gained a bit of weight, so most of my jeans don't fit, so I'm basically wearing shorts until then anyway and putting on jeans right now will just ruin my entire day
also, i have a pretty big chest compared to my body which I really like, so I feel like I can draw some attention from the rest of me by showing that lol
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Dinner was such a mistake!
/u/FruitandBone [5'3 |*face palm* | -8lbs | F]
Created: Fri Oct 27 18:26:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7975yj/rant_dinner_was_such_a_mistake/
---
I've been fasting or eating <350 cals a day for the past week. Today, my boyfriend wanted to go to dinner. Cue me stopping to get a breakfast sandwich on the way home from work, because my day will be fucked anyway. Well the cheese on that sandwich was so good, I wanted more. So I ate 300 cals of cheese popcorn when I got home. Two hours later I'm at dinner shoving gravey fries and beer in my face.
TMI, but there was immediate evacuation from below. Also on the way home I almost puked on the bus because I was so full. I did end up purging a bit when I made it home (which I never do). Now I just feel terrible. Why can't I just enjoy a nice dinner out? Apparently self sabatoge is a higher priority...balls
[Help] Anyone want to teach a noob about EC stacking?
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | SW: 130 | CW: ~125 | GW: small | 20F]
Created: Fri Oct 27 18:18:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7974js/anyone_want_to_teach_a_noob_about_ec_stacking/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Wow that was a low point
/u/CoolCatLovesAllKids [164cm | 15 | lmfao | Female]
Created: Fri Oct 27 18:14:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7973uf/wow_that_was_a_low_point/
---
Yesterday I bought cookies so I could b/p ‘cause I had a shit day. I did as much as I could but still had a few cookies left so I decided to spray them with deodorant so I wouldn’t be able to eat them the following day... which is today
Guess what my dumb ass just tried... lesson learned.
Have any of you had moments like these too? Please tell me I’m not alone
Also, my mouth is burning I am concerned
FUNYUNS
/u/squishykiss
Created: Fri Oct 27 17:54:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/796zip/funyuns/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] This could be easy
/u/lowandbehole
Created: Fri Oct 27 17:22:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/796tk4/this_could_be_easy/
---
Anyone else here find that they lose weight relatively quickly when they really try. In a good week I could lose more than I would have thought possible.
Also if you lived alone do you think you would reach your goal weight quicker. When I’m around my family I cannot stop eating shit but a few days alone and I could go without temptation completely.
[Discussion] Does anyone else eat a lot of fast food
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Fri Oct 27 17:20:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/796t94/does_anyone_else_eat_a_lot_of_fast_food/
---
I know a lot of you guys eat prepackaged foods and junk food, but I’m wondering how many eat fast food and trust the calories.
I eat a lot of fast food and at first it was really hard to trust the calories but I got comfortable with it. However now I am back to worrying about how much I can trust the nutrition facts when of course it depends on who is making it.
My favorite lately is noodles and company, I get the bbq pork Mac and a half order of garlic bread and according to the website it is 980 cals. It always fills me up and I love it so the fact that I am starting to second guess the calories is driving me crazy.
I also really like Taco Bell too and can fit 3-4 things in under 1200 cals.
Does anyone else trust the calories??
I’m hoping so cause these are my favorite foods and make fasting all day worth it.
[Rant/Rave] Trying to get back on track.
/u/DowntownTriumph91
Created: Fri Oct 27 16:52:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/796nnl/trying_to_get_back_on_track/
---
I fucked up last night. I binged and purged everything in site. Then I did it this morning. So, I called out of work and slept all day. I'm going to do a 24-48 hour fast because fuck me.
And, to top it off, half of my back tooth broke off last night.
I feel so alone and disgusting. I don't even want to leave the house to have a cigarette. I don't have anyone irl to talk to about this shit.
Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.
On mobile, please tag appropriately?
[Intro] First post here, hi!
/u/skyofAuroras [5'10" | CW: 124lbs | GW: 118lbs |19F]
Created: Fri Oct 27 16:41:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/796lie/first_post_here_hi/
---
So I've bee lurking this sub for a while and finally decided to introduce myself. I've been having eating problems since I was about 16 (restricting, binging, and fasting rarely). Currently 19, second year college student, and living at home with my parents and family. Just looking for like minded people and you all seem nice. So have you all been?
[Rant/Rave] People Have Been Noticing I Haven't Eaten
/u/bunntendo [Height | CW128 | BMI20 | WeightLost32 | GenderNB]
Created: Fri Oct 27 16:35:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/796kgk/people_have_been_noticing_i_havent_eaten/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] “No offense, but....”
/u/Ladybeeortoise [5'6" | 109 |17.5 | GW: 105 | 34]
Created: Fri Oct 27 16:28:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/796j4m/no_offense_but/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Haha guess who’s seriously fucked 😎😎
/u/CoolCatLovesAllKids [164cm | 15 | lmfao | Female]
Created: Fri Oct 27 15:50:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/796bek/haha_guess_whos_seriously_fucked/
---
Ya girl has a chance to get the super intensive therapy treatment she needs for her depression... but, if I wanna follow this treatment I’m not allowed to have an eating disorder! Ha! Kill me!
So the place I go to for my current therapy treatment plan is this big mental health service. It’s like, super top-notch, they know their shit. And my psychologist + psychiatrist decided what we’re doing now isn’t really helping soooooo, they introduced me to the clinic part of the service which is basically a treatment plan where you live with other patients and staff for roughly 9 months. But you 🙃 are 🙃 not 🙃 allowed 🙃 to 🙃 have 🙃 an 🙃 eating disorder if u wanna join 🙃🙃🙃🙃 isn’t 🙃 that 🙃 wonderful 🙃
They have a similar rule regarding self harming. They tolerate it, but if you do it you must report it to the staff. But you must cover it up so other patients don’t get triggered. There’s no way to hide an ED when you see everyone you live with on a daily basis AND have to have meals with the other patients.
I fkn love getting fucked in the ass by my ED it’s so great 👌🏻
[Discussion] I work multiple jobs just so I won't eat...anyone else?
/u/pisceseyesx
Created: Fri Oct 27 15:39:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79692e/i_work_multiple_jobs_just_so_i_wont_eatanyone_else/
---
Most people who work multiple jobs do it for the income and due to their busy schedules are too busy to eat or even "forget" to eat sometimes.
I work multiples jobs just so I won't eat and it keeps me away from food. I have a great full time job that I make a living on and don't really need to work other positions. But because of my ED, I've rationalise in my head that: BUSY = NO TIME = NO FOOD = THIN.
Guys..I'm tired of putting almost 95 hours + per week. But it just makes so much sense and it's actually made me loose a ton of weight. Anyone else in this predicament?
[Discussion] What are your favourite single serving recipes?
/u/itscirclejerky [5'6 | CW: repulsive| 20ish ? | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 27 14:52:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/795z5d/what_are_your_favourite_single_serving_recipes/
---
I love baking but the problem is I either eat all of it or none of it, so I was wondering if you guys have relatively low calorie (I'm thinking > 200) dessert recipes like cookies or brownies.
Looking for recipes on Pinterest is a bit of a headache as they're all relatively high cal or include 'uncommon' ingredients.
Panicking bc I can't purge lol
/u/loseitjen [5'8 |SW 135|CW 131|GW 115| F21]
Created: Fri Oct 27 14:50:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/795yo1/panicking_bc_i_cant_purge_lol/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Do you ever feel kind of relieved when your food sucks?
/u/greatideaxoxo [5'2" | 124.6lbs | BMI:22.8 | GW:100lbs ]
Created: Fri Oct 27 14:40:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/795whu/do_you_ever_feel_kind_of_relieved_when_your_food/
---
I reluctantly bought a tray with grapes, carrots, cheese and pretzels today, and when I opened it everything was spoiled and mushy. So I ended up only eating a tiny portion of it. I was secretly glad. I only bought it because I'm at work and my coworkers would ask me why I'm not eating.
[Other] Felt voracious all day, binged, then I pondered why...
/u/RedxLoaf [5'7" | 158lbs | 40lbs Lost | 24F]
Created: Fri Oct 27 14:18:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/795rpr/felt_voracious_all_day_binged_then_i_pondered_why/
---
...until I remembered that I had forgotten to take my ADHD medication. I sat awake at 10 pm just stunned. Without this pill, my appetite is really this intense??
When I'm on my meds, sure I get hungry, but it's very manageable. Even when my stomach growls I don't feel hungry per say, just annoyed more than anything.
Yesterday I ate like I was on fire and food was water. I just thought I was pre-period and behaving like a fat ass, but holy shit. This is what it's like without these meds? I have 0 self control without my pills.
Definitely a reality check.
After that, my SO and I ordered a month's supply of Soylent to drink instead of eating food. I hope I can cure my food fixation by treating it as fuel. 800 cals a day for the next 30 days! I'll be at my 2nd goal weight if I keep it up. :)
Wish me luckkk~
[Help] Subs for carbs?
/u/dipped_in_gold_ [5'3 | CW 117 lbs | GW 105 | 22F]
Created: Fri Oct 27 13:59:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/795naj/subs_for_carbs/
---
(Mods: feel free to delete if not allowed; I wasn't sure if this would fall too close to dieting tips or not)
I love carbs, like an excessive amount. The majority of my evening meals consist of pasta and bread, and Italian is my favorite type of food. I know I can't keep eating all this stuff, and I know how bad it is, but I haven't been able to find anything to satisfy these cravings.
Does anyone have suggestions of low(er)-cal subs for these kinds of foods? Or any ideas of how to wean myself of them?
[Intro] Boyfriend found out about my other alt and this sub.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 27 13:40:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/795j2i/boyfriend_found_out_about_my_other_alt_and_this/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Cold office rant
/u/skinnifat [5'4" | CW: 114 | UGW: 105 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 27 11:41:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/794rup/cold_office_rant/
---
Just needed someone to talk to about some things. Tired of complaining to my boyfriend. And I know you all can relate so here goes.
So during lunch I put another shirt on under my sweater and you can sort of see it peeking out and I feel like people are gonna notice and say something (but they probably won't, right?) and I also feel like I'm suffocating. But I should totally just not gaf, right? Because I am warm for once and that's all that matters?
My job wants me to use the company card to purchase a lab coat so I'll stop wearing my winter coat in the office but I absolutely refuse to wear one of those hideous things so I'm just trying to secretly wear more/ warmer clothes and act like everything's fine.
I'm not crazy, right? Everything is fine? I definitely feel a little crazy.
[Help] What are you doing against hypoglycemia?
/u/OderaRi
Created: Fri Oct 27 10:09:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7947xu/what_are_you_doing_against_hypoglycemia/
---
I experience hypoglycemia quite often when I'm going on low calories (without having diabetes btw. I got that checked). I don't want to eat more, but then I have to, because I'm all shakey and my head is feeling numb/dumb. And if I get it, I start eating to get rid of it, but it takes a while until the sugars get into the blood, which is why I overeat then...
How do you treat hypoglycemia when it happens? I'm sure I can't be the only one?
[Rant/Rave] Was doing so good, and now...
/u/religiousdogmom [5'5.75 | CW157.6 | GW105 | BMI 25.53 | 25]
Created: Fri Oct 27 10:05:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79471v/was_doing_so_good_and_now/
---
So I went to Ohio last week to visit friends, and I had been doing so well with restricting. AND NOW, I just feel like every day I have fucked up. I've only gone over maintenance like once, but I have been eating maintenance most days. BUT my boyfriend is going out of town, so I think I am going to try and fast from noon on saturday through sunday. I just want to lose some weight before my asshole family sees me for holidays.
[Discussion] i love/hate fall so much
/u/bellexy [5'8 | tubbalub | -20 | GW 118]
Created: Fri Oct 27 09:49:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7943cx/i_lovehate_fall_so_much/
---
fall is my natural habitat. i love it so much. blustery and spooky and lovely.
but it's so bad for my self-esteem. i want to dress up for halloween but i'm too fat to look cute. i want to get new big giant cozy sweaters, but i don't deserve them and i'd look awful in them. i want to be a cute fall girl and i just... i'm not.
i love this season, but i feel like i'm missing out because of my weight. does anyone else feel this same anxiety?
[Discussion] The only thing that keeps me going is momentum
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 190 lb | GW: 120 lb | 22F]
Created: Fri Oct 27 09:48:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79431t/the_only_thing_that_keeps_me_going_is_momentum/
---
Does anyone else feel this way? If I'm fasting, or having good restriction, I don't want to break the streak. If I'm binging, I can't stop until I want to die. If I have a drink, I plow on through to shit faced.
Maybe if I actually lose weight I won't have the fuckin inertia
[Rant/Rave] New scale calibration issues
/u/PermanentHysteria
Created: Fri Oct 27 09:30:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/793z3d/new_scale_calibration_issues/
---
Rant
My SO broke the old scale by dropping it on the concrete and it wouldn't regster a weight, every time I got on, I was ten pounds lighter. I lost forty pounds stepping on and off the scale!
So now we have a new scale off Amazon and the reading changes everytime, and it puts me within a 5 lb range of my old scale which is sooooo frustrating because I've been doing better the last couple of days and wanted to track my progress.
I just want to lose 9 lbs by the 4th, which is totally doable with fasting, but how will I know if I've goten there IF MY SCALE ISN'T CONSISTENT?!?!
[Discussion] Does anyone else here have a phobia? Do you have more than one?
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 102.9 | 18.8 | -34 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 27 09:28:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/793yjm/does_anyone_else_here_have_a_phobia_do_you_have/
---
I am (extremely unfortunately) terrified of vomiting. This in turn has made me terrified of planes and anything that can cause motion sickness. The airplane phobia has turned into its own thing now, where just even going near an airport gives me anxiety - even if I don't actually need to get on the plane. It's so incredibly inconvenient.
Does anyone else here have a phobia? More importantly - has anyone ever gotten rid of a phobia??
[Help] If I c/s every now and then will it affect my teeth?
/u/Banana-Ghost [169cm | CW 61kg | GW 54kg | 20F]
Created: Fri Oct 27 09:17:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/793w9d/if_i_cs_every_now_and_then_will_it_affect_my_teeth/
---
I'm sorry to ask this but I feel that recently it's the only way to stay in my calorie count and not binge.
This doesn't happen often, I've done it twice - a few months ago and yesterday. I'm concerned that sometimes I can't get out of a binge cycle and yesterday was one of those feeling 'bingy' days so I c/s a baguette and I felt normal afterwards like it satisfied my hunger. I don't purge as well. How bad can it be if I do it say once a week?
[Discussion] Constant hunger headache?
/u/sadnddisordered [5'10.5 | 126 | 17.59 | -7 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 27 09:01:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/793sff/constant_hunger_headache/
---
How do you guys deal? I feel like I've tried everything, cigarettes, weed, water, motrin, the only thing that makes it go away is food.
[Help] Can someone help me out please?
/u/Throwaway412160987
Created: Fri Oct 27 06:46:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/792zz6/can_someone_help_me_out_please/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] i binged again last night
/u/zubatofficial
Created: Fri Oct 27 06:40:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/792yus/i_binged_again_last_night/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] When you're jealous of your cats weight loss
/u/agent_philcoulson [5'4" | CW: 140 | GW: 120]
Created: Fri Oct 27 06:14:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/792ubk/when_youre_jealous_of_your_cats_weight_loss/
---
One of my cats is a norweigan forest cat. They are known for being on the huskier side. So my bf and I never cared that he was a little chubby.
He's going through some anxiety right now (issues that he developed due to his previous owner who didn't treat him right). Because of this he has lost some weight. He's a normal weight right now and I can't help but find myself jealous of him. When I get anxiety, I binge like crazy.
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! October 27, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Oct 27 06:13:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/792u10/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for October 27, 2017.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 27, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Oct 27 06:12:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/792u07/daily_food_diary_october_27_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 27, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] How do you get off of a plateau?
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 63 kg | BMI: 23.4 | -20.5 kg | 21F]
Created: Fri Oct 27 05:55:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/792r0z/how_do_you_get_off_of_a_plateau/
---
So I've been on a plateau for about 2 or 3 weeks now and I'm annoyed. I wanted to fast for a week to get off of this plateau but I can't because every damn weekend someone else is celebrating their birthday. And eating "regularly" has caused me to binge every 2 days. So I didn't gain but I didn't lose either.
What do you guys do to get off of plateaus? Just wait? Fast? Please tell me.
[Discussion] October 27th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 27 05:55:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/792qwf/october_27th_2017_question_of_the_day/
---
What was the last goofy thing you did?
[Discussion] Does anyone else get terrible anxiety when restricting?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 27 05:47:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/792pqs/does_anyone_else_get_terrible_anxiety_when/
---
[deleted]
[Help] Changes in sleeping patterns?
/u/janesavage [167 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 50 kg | 18F]
Created: Fri Oct 27 05:22:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/792lxx/changes_in_sleeping_patterns/
---
I've been restricting the past week or two (partly intentionally, partly out of a lack of appetite), and this week I've fallen into a habit of going to bed at my usual time (9-10 PM) but waking up anywhere between 1 and 4 in the morning instead of 6, which has been my natural waking time for the past several years. I probably wouldn't even mind it, but for I can hardly ever fall back asleep.
Of course, post hoc ergo propter hoc and all that jazz, but I was wondering if anyone else has noticed a similar result while restricting.
[Rant/Rave] *Over 100 hours thanks
/u/bagelzboi [5'3 | CW:85bs | 21F]
Created: Fri Oct 27 05:02:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/792iwe/over_100_hours_thanks/
---
https://imgur.com/M7dOFAj
[Goal] 4 and a 1/2 lbs to go!
/u/fuckwit_charlie [5'2 | CW: 81.5 lbs | GW: 77 lbs | BMI: 16.24 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 27 03:46:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7928ec/4_and_a_12_lbs_to_go/
---
Woke up this morning after taking some lax (I have long term bowel issues unrelated to my ED) and had the biggest BM ever. Weighed myself and I’m 81.5 lbs! Not only is it my LW, I’ve only got 4.5 lbs before I’m at my GW!!
Rewarded myself with weetabix and banana, my favourite safe food, don’t even care!!
Sorry for the bragging, I’m just so happy with myself!
UPDATE: got too carried away and had ice cream and chocolate to celebrate.. that was an extra 400 calories I could have done without 😂😭🔫
[Rant/Rave] Going to a drop in session to get advice on how to recover and I'm terrified
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5'4" | 125 | 21.4 | GW: 115 | NB]
Created: Fri Oct 27 02:17:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/791xcm/going_to_a_drop_in_session_to_get_advice_on_how/
---
I feel sick guys. I was told by my gp to come back today to go and see a group of ED survivors to get tips on getting better. Except I'm still a normal weight and I've been eating well these past two days.
I'm so scared I'll be told I'm faking it and cause I hate lying to my girlfriend I have to go please help me feel less anxious.
[Rant/Rave] what is wrong with me?
/u/throwwaway2w
Created: Fri Oct 27 02:00:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/791v8e/what_is_wrong_with_me/
---
ok. this is going to be a long rambling post. fair warning.
I didn't care about my weight for the longest time, always hovering between 100-115 naturally. Regardless, everyone always liked to tell me I was so skinny; though, that's probably due to the fact that most of my weight was hidden on my stomach and clothes and also because the majority of people around me were nearing overweight BMI when I look back at it. After 2 years of college, I was finally pushing 120 due to the dining halls so I thought to lose weight.
I just started skipping one meal a day and dropped to 115 but I wanted to get back to 100. This was about 1.5 years ago. I hit 100 about 2 months ago, but I've reverted back to 108. I thought losing weight was simple and easy; in a way, it is. I counted calories and the weight followed. But I don't know why. These past months, I just can't stop eating. Like I all I think about is food, but when I eat it, I'm not satisfied so I just keep eating, thinking it'll fill something in me? Like, sometimes I feel lonely but I have friends and I feel fine most of the time. I don't think it's emotional eating, and it's not always stress eating. I KNOW I'm not hungry yet I keep eating. Why? It's so frustrating since I know what I'm supposed to be doing to be at whatever weight I want but my body isn't listening. I feel gross when I overeat but then I always end up doing it the next day; it doesn't matter if I only keep healthy food in my house because I still overeat it on it. I don't know about anyone else, but I can totally binge on chicken breasts and broccoli.
I was completely fine a few months ago. What happened? I don't know if there's something physically wrong with me; I haven't had my period in 3 months. I've always had irregular periods, and my doctors never thought it was a problem before. My last check up was fine. I was exercising for the most part until recently because of an injury but I used to never exercise and I never felt this out of control before. For the past couple weeks, all I've been doing is eating and sleeping and I have no motivation for anything. I spend like 30 minutes every day arguing with myself to go to my classes, to do my homework, to study, to just be normal. I just want the semester to be over so I can have time to be a fucking loser and be in bed all day, but I know if I don't try for the rest of the semester, I won't even be able to do that without feeling guilty. I think I should talk to a doctor but I've never talked to one about this, and I don't know the first place to start. I want to be able to fix this myself; I'm giving myself until the end of the year to see if I'll "become better" since I'll be under better insurance by then.
I don't know what to do. Why do I keep thinking about food when I don't even enjoy eating it anymore? I used to be able to go a whole day without food because there's so many things more interesting than eating all the time so why can't I stop? I feel like I can't even function as normal anymore and no one else around me seems to have similar problems. When I tangentially talk about my food issues, they're all like "you're so skinny! don't worry about it!" "treat yourself!" "food is worth it" "Why are you even worrying?" Why am I worrying about it why can't I stop it's just food shouldn't I be happy that I can afford to eat??
[Discussion] Do any of you "allow" yourself to binge for a few days before getting back to restricting??
/u/thinismygame [5'6.5" | 125 | F | 22]
Created: Fri Oct 27 01:51:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/791u3l/do_any_of_you_allow_yourself_to_binge_for_a_few/
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I literally have been eating like 1400 cals every day this week (maintenance) and finally just binged yesterday. Thinking of "letting" myself just eat what I want today and tomorrow to erase some guilt (obv not all). It's worked for me before because I typically eat so much that I'm disgusted w/ food. I'm so disappointed. My last binge was August 9 so it was a good streak but I wanted to last until thanksgiving.
So has anyone been successful with allowing a couple days to binge then get back to restricting easily as well? For some reason I kind of just snap after binge and the self hate propels me forward. OR allowing myself to binge makes me feel like I'm still in control, so slipping into controlling restriction just seems natural? Idk. Curious about you all!
[Rant/Rave] Bosses intentionally trying to 'fatten me up sos
/u/-M00nFlower
Created: Fri Oct 27 01:43:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/791t2p/bosses_intentionally_trying_to_fatten_me_up_sos/
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WEL FIRSTLY HERE'S A LIL SNIPPET OF MY MORNING
( spoiler: I'm not even that skinny lmao)
" how are you liking the full cream coffees I've been making you every morning? Hahaha "
... Oh, you mean the almond milk coffees I've been ordering...?
Very fucking not good thanks?! You know they make me feel sick not the mention the damn calories and fat, really explain why I can only drink a few sips before tipping it out :))
NOT TO MENTION EVERY GOD DAMN MORNING OF EVERY DAY
" here eat this donut you're too skinny " as if it isn't tough enough having to resist the frighten things
" I'll make you a vegetarian burger we have to fatten you up!"
"No one will want a skinny pastry chef!" Scuse me what
Can someone pls murder my bosses
[Rant/Rave] Wigging out over the Halloween party I'm co-hosting tomorrow.
/u/IttyBittyBatty [5'5"| -11.6lb | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 27 00:19:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/791hl3/wigging_out_over_the_halloween_party_im_cohosting/
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I ate ~1000 calories today, and feeling sick to my stomach. The rest of my week was great with less than 500cal/day. I was doing so well...
The get together should be fun, but there's going to be sooooo much good food and booze. I know I'm going to pig out and I won't be able to purge in time. Ugh...
Edit: And a disgusting 3am binge to top off the day. Just kill me now.
[Help] i'm just like...not losing weight?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18| f | 22]
Created: Thu Oct 26 23:53:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/791dw1/im_just_likenot_losing_weight/
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okay, i know that my disordered ass isn't somehow breaking the laws of calories-in-calories-out, but like...i've been keeping below maintenance (and typically below 1,000) since i gave up on maintaining (lmao) and i haven't lost *any* weight in the last 2 weeks. i should've lost at least a pound or two. i was on my period last week and gained water weight, could that be it? idk, maybe i'm just looking for reassurance that i'll eventually lose the maintenance weight i gained ugh.
edit: uh wtf my stomach is so bloated and all i've eaten today were an apple, a carrot, and some espresso bean candy (ugh) this afternoon and then a sweet potato an hour ago, maybe i am just fat and disgusting.
[Thinspo] If every day was like today...
/u/lovelyannie [5’2” | 167 | 30.6 | -20lbs | Female]
Created: Thu Oct 26 23:44:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/791ckl/if_every_day_was_like_today/
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(Flagged as thinspo because it’s inspiring to me, mods feel free to change it)
If every day was like today, I would lose 79lbs in 4 months.
I burned just under 3000 calories today according to my Fitbit, and only ate 650 calories. Which means I had a calorie deficit of 2300.
2300 calories * 120 days = 276000 calories lost over 120 days
276000 / 3500 = 78.86lbs lost in 120 days!
Could you imagine if I could actually keep that up every day for 120 days?!
[Rant/Rave] I always bake for guys I like but also have no self control, so guess who had to fish out pink vomit clogging up my sink pipes this week :’)
/u/ignorado [🍑: ignorado]
Created: Thu Oct 26 23:40:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/791c1c/i_always_bake_for_guys_i_like_but_also_have_no/
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https://i.redd.it/j9s2xgbg8buz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] maybe I’ll just get so stuffed up I’ll be physically unable to eat
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 19bmi | -140 | 30F | AU]
Created: Thu Oct 26 23:19:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79190p/maybe_ill_just_get_so_stuffed_up_ill_be/
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I haven’t had a BM in over 2 weeks
I’ve gained 5 pounds. That is all. I can hardly step on the scale. I just feel heavy, like a whale. I’m going out of my mind. Hitting my LW and not losing without eating much for a month. Like my body isn’t letting me do this anymore. I just had to vent I don’t expect anything good to come of this. I’m taking a crapton of fibre pills, the last time I took laxatives I got extremely sick (and it was NOT the first time) but it might come down to that, though I took just one last night
Anyway whatever
<3
Edit: My lax kicked in like last night, the next morning (today), nothing crazy but yeah at least some stuff moved around.
[Discussion] does anyone want to join me in a five day fast starting today? (1 AM October 27)
/u/gawainspussy
Created: Thu Oct 26 23:04:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7916sz/does_anyone_want_to_join_me_in_a_five_day_fast/
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[removed]
[Tip] 🍓Frozen diced Strawberries🍓
/u/PrimaryGreen
Created: Thu Oct 26 22:49:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7914bw/frozen_diced_strawberries/
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I love this so much it feels like a binge and it has 1 ingredient.
Get strawberries
Chop them up
Smush some with a fork (not all of them)
Freeze them until they are really cold but not completley frozen
Bam, done!
Do y'all have any dessert recipies
[Rant/Rave] I feel like everyone is judging me
/u/throw_away524
Created: Thu Oct 26 22:46:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7913ui/i_feel_like_everyone_is_judging_me/
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Currently trying to recover (been doing SO well this last week!). But I am really skinny... like very abnormally skinny. 5'5 and 93ish pounds but I look even skinnier than that.
But I walk around through my life constantly think about what everyone else think of me. I get the occasional comment that I am so skinny and should be a model.... and omg it's so fucking triggering. I used to thrive off it but now whenever someone comments on my weight I get so self concsious.
On the other hand I get some weird looks and I feel like everyone knows about my ed and it just makes me so uncomfortable. I can't lie when it's so fucking obvious.
Anyone else feel this way?
[Help] i feel paranoid about eating one of my few safe foods
/u/ci-fre [5' | 73 -74 lb | ~15-15.2 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 26 22:35:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79128v/i_feel_paranoid_about_eating_one_of_my_few_safe/
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I'm so scared. Protein bars are my only safe foods (because of preparation, it's simpler for me to just eat them) so er, please don't tell me to start using whole foods and databases; it won't work.
and then. I noticed that Quest likes taking pretty photos of their bars and adding facts about the bars (eg "20g protein" "1 g sugar" on those images) on those photos. so I was checking out one of those photos for a 180-calorie bar... and the photo says "190 calories". I'm sure the bar is 180 calories because like, that's what the label says and that's what Quest's actual website says.
and then I was thinking... maybe I could contact the manufacturer. and then I did. but then no matter what they'd say, I'd feel so guilty. I get this voice in my head telling me that it's *not okay to log it as 180 calories* because it makes me *lazy and self-indulgent* when I could just *overestimate just in case* and I'm "bad" if I didn't. even when I logically know it's probably just a typo.
I really wish I could just count the bar as 180 but I feel like I don't have permission to do that anymore since it's supposed to be good practice to overestimate. Am I a bad logger if I ignore the photo and keep counting the bars as 180? Am I being one of those people that underestimates their foods and isn't logging calories careful enough? Is it okay to count them as 180? D; I'm getting panicked because Quest bars are one of the few safe foods I have anymore.
[Rant/Rave] Losing weight accidentally is the best
/u/applesforhungry
Created: Thu Oct 26 22:21:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/791002/losing_weight_accidentally_is_the_best/
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[removed]
[Help] I get so lonely at night :'(
/u/AccaliaOmg [5'3 | 112| 19.7 | -18 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 26 21:45:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/790ttw/i_get_so_lonely_at_night/
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Like my title says ... Jeeeez okay. As much as I'd rather not be, I'm needy as fuck. Maybe it's because my mom would literally iGNORE ME for days when I was younger & now that I'm getting attention from people I LOVE it's like ... Can never get enough attention? (yikes I don't wanna be an attention seeker either)
Anyhow, as much as I wish I was more social, I'm really not. I have like, three friends + a great boyfriend, and that's really my social circle. School is fine, after school is fine, but evening sets in? Boom; instant, crippling lonliness and sadness. I really just wanna b/p the night away *every single night* to distract myself from the sadness /lonliness. I can't really talk to anyone since the BF is hanging out with his friends, and my other three friends are usually busy.
What's left to do? B/p obviously lol I'm a piece of trash. Anyways, I'm trying to play Pokemon or draw or something to get my mind off it, but it's always lingering. There's no way I'm associating with my family- that's the last thing I wanna do. I'm running out of ideas, and every night I'm feeling more inclined to say FUCK YOU SLEEP and b/p until school starts.
Help :'(
[Rant/Rave] binge cycle
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 26 21:36:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/790sec/binge_cycle/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Just got told by my doctor I have to stop losing weight or I can't have my mastectomy (ftm transgender)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 26 21:35:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/790s51/just_got_told_by_my_doctor_i_have_to_stop_losing/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] I can't stop staring when people eat
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 26 21:31:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/790rju/i_cant_stop_staring_when_people_eat/
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[removed]
[Discussion] I really need to get my shit together lmao
/u/tacehtelle [5"7 | 123.5 | ?? :( | idk lbs :( | Female]
Created: Thu Oct 26 21:27:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/790qqn/i_really_need_to_get_my_shit_together_lmao/
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Heres a list of everything wrong in my life rn
-I procrastinate (SO MUCH)
-its 9 pm and I havent studied for my (100 point) test tomorrow
-I have 2 mid terms next week and I cant even speak French at all.
-I have no skills?
-Seriously, the only thing I can do is juggle
-barely juggle
-my room is a constant mess
-I NEVER FOLD MY LAUNDRY?? WHY???
-I want to get more skills and strengthen my arms but Im just too lazy???
-I have been in a binge for literally 10 weeks?? (in my terms a binge is when ever I go over my wanted calorie limit
so rn its like 2k a day)
-my style is not where I want it to be (clothes lmao)
-I constantly feel so ugly and idk what to do
-i keep telling myself "tomorrow" but it never happens tomorrow
Has anyone ever been where I am right now? My life is literally a catastrophe rn and I need to get my act together but I just cant find any motivation to do anything besides netflix. Lol and plz dont comment something like "Just stop being lazy and put effort into your life" like yeah ik but I need motivation, calculations, and a steady schedule and i'm just looking for advice on how to make one.
[Rant/Rave] Goddammit
/u/nycthrowaway51 [5' 3" | CW: 95 | BMI: 16.8]
Created: Thu Oct 26 21:04:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/790mwy/goddammit/
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I was having a particularly rough day and after a week of successfully restricting, I caved and ate 1/3 of a container of frosting. With corn chips. Along with everything else I ate today, I'm definitely over by TDEE. Even though it's honestly probably not that much compared to binges I've had before, I'm really disgusted and frustrated with myself. Seriously, corn chips with frosting? Why?
[Discussion] DAR with a high BMI feel significantly smaller after having a low restriction day?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 26 20:43:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/790j9m/dar_with_a_high_bmi_feel_significantly_smaller/
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[deleted]
[Help] Incline walking calories
/u/fitisthegoal
Created: Thu Oct 26 19:44:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/790876/incline_walking_calories/
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what do you guys log and for what times and incline? I'm doing the online calculators and they seem high!
[Rant/Rave] I just want everyone to watch her, because she has been an inspiration to me, and keeps me going.
/u/LoseItSister [5'4"| CW204 | BMI35 | GW150 | 30F]
Created: Thu Oct 26 19:24:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7904ep/i_just_want_everyone_to_watch_her_because_she_has/
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https://youtu.be/S1-1iG7DqlE
[Rant/Rave] I’m full.
/u/ssfbgm
Created: Thu Oct 26 19:21:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7903xk/im_full/
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I’m awful at hunger cues. Which usually ends in a whole pizza, sides, and then some grazing.
Not today.
Had an apple, crackers and hummus, and chocolate almond milk (might have gone overboard on the chocolate). Followed serving sizes and everything. And I feel fine. Hopefully this new superpower sticks?
^mobile can’t flair
[Help] I need some help here
/u/Inxthewolf
Created: Thu Oct 26 19:18:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/79036w/i_need_some_help_here/
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Okay so the thing is I have a thing called a deer leg ( little muscle too almost nothing ) and, I like running and riding my bike but ,with running my leg acts up and, my bike is broke and I can’t find any way to exercise in my house. So dose anyone know of anything I can do
[Discussion] opinions on full calorie drinks?
/u/dyingtobepretty
Created: Thu Oct 26 18:23:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78zsnr/opinions_on_full_calorie_drinks/
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i loveeee naked juices and coffee energy drinks, but naked juices have like 290 calories per bottle and coffee energy drinks are around that. if i drink them i feel completely full so it's sooo easy to go very very long periods without eating, but i still feel guilty about those calories. :/ what are your guys opinions on it? any lower calorie substitutions?
edit: these drink calories are the only calories i'm consuming :)
[Help] Losing weight too fast
/u/cuttoarose
Created: Thu Oct 26 18:13:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78zqjm/losing_weight_too_fast/
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Hey guys. I've been wanting to lose 10 pounds for fucking ever, and now in just two months I have lost 11. The first semester is almost over, but not close enough, and I'm worried I'm going to just keep losing and losing. By then, people might notice and I could be in a huge huge bout of trouble. I just don't know how to feel. I know that I could lose approximately eight more and not look like I'm dying, but then what? Honestly a lot of this might be reversed come December when I am back home.... Guys I just don't know what to do when I finally reach my minimum weight that doesn't look sickly. I don't know how the hell I am going to increase my calories to meet maintenance. I'm afraid if I do not come up with a plan I can actually stick too, I wont be able to stop losing. If the people in charge of my well-being notice this, I'll be taken out of school.
Guys I don't know, I have wanted to lose 10 pounds for YEARS and now I have and now what? When I saw my weight today, it felt more like oh fuck than oh yeah! I am just gonna eat some candy and not feel bad about it for now...I just don't know how to feel or what to do.
[Rant/Rave] Stressed and lost appetite, but I don't really feel bad about it.
/u/itsmeandthemoon [5'3 | 279 | 50.79 | Female]
Created: Thu Oct 26 18:07:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78zp51/stressed_and_lost_appetite_but_i_dont_really_feel/
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I have a lot of stuff going on right now, including classes (midterm grades weren't the best), losing my apartment (I just learned this Monday and have to be out over the weekend), having to rehome my cats because I cannot bring them to my parents house (I'm hoping I can find someone to "cat sit" while I find another apartment and save money, however...) also I'm not getting any hours at my job and I need to be saving both for my bf to come visit (ldr) and to get another apartment now. I would love to find another job but I smoked weed at a homecoming party so I have to wait for that to get out of my system before the inevitable pee test they'll give me. Everything just seems to be piling up.
I'm hungry but I don't want to eat. This seems like a blessing right now for me, and I hope that this feeling never goes away because if I just wasn't hungry that would make this so much easier.
Edit: words are hard
[Intro] Well I told my therapist about the purging... I should probably introduce myself
/u/ihalfasseverything [5'4" | CW 166 | GW 118 | -36lbs | F]
Created: Thu Oct 26 17:44:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78zkfk/well_i_told_my_therapist_about_the_purging_i/
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I've been lurking here a long time. Since I took the plunge and told my therapist about 20 years of on and off binge/purge cycles, restriction/purge cycles and a current hard relapse, I thought I should say hello to the community.
You are beautiful souls and your kind words and acceptance of all situations actually helped me find the courage to tell my therapist.
Thank you.
I'm in my mid-thirties (omg I'm so old...), a mom to two tiny humans, a runner (sometimes), a reader and I have a long-standing issue with using purging to avoid my feelings.
It started in grade school and now, here I am: a professional, a wife, a mother... an out of control mess. This relapse is ugly but I'm not ready for recovery yet. Restriction and purging most of what I do eat. I don't feel like myself in my body. Seriously, pregnancy f*cking ruined my body X 2. So, weight loss is a goal and balancing life, work and possibly an executive degree next year has me stressed right out. Let me have one thing... Just one thing to focus on and control.
Thanks for reading the wall of text. ❤️
[Other] Feel very alone
/u/YourNow
Created: Thu Oct 26 17:40:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78zjql/feel_very_alone/
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This is my first time posting in this sub, so i'm trying not to break any rules, but i feel like this is the place to turn too, since support groups for ED in my area cost money
I'm a male with bulimia, i feel like such a outcast due to what the internet tells me that rarely males suffer from such a thing. I don't want to look like an asshole and be like "since being male is rare for bulimia, blah blah blah" i just feel alone, I started 2 years ago with stims and it got really bad after thanksgiving 2016, when i started puking everything and fasting. I lost probably 50-60 pounds until i finally stopped midway this year due to rehab. Well i'm starting up again, i just needed somewhere to vent, i'm just feeling low
Thanks everybody
[Rant/Rave] Got a free candy bar and I'm freaking out
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 26 17:26:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78zgvv/got_a_free_candy_bar_and_im_freaking_out/
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[removed]
[Other] Nothing makes me happy.
/u/mu-jorim [5'6 | hw 180 | cw 143 | lw 110 | gw 118]
Created: Thu Oct 26 16:33:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78z5hx/nothing_makes_me_happy/
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Except losing weight. But I've been on a plateau for a month.
I don't want to leave the house.
I don't want to see anyone but my boyfriend and my cats.
I don't want anyone to see *me*.
I want to forget that my mom has cancer again.
I want to go just one whole day without my brain screeching at me that I'm a disease of a person who deserves nothing.
I want to be held and comforted, and I want to be left completely alone.
I want to feel comfortable depending on someone, but I want to be completely independent to show that I'm worth something.
I want someone to say I've done a good job and can rest.
I want to be loved, but I don't feel I deserve it.
I want to want nothing.
[Other] snapchat group??
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 26 16:27:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78z4b2/snapchat_group/
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[removed]
[Help] Will my ass be gone!?
/u/PrimaryGreen
Created: Thu Oct 26 16:23:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78z3ix/will_my_ass_be_gone/
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My ugw is 110lbs. Will i still have an ass and boobs? Those are the only things i like about my body.
[Rant/Rave] Do any other 2nd gen/3rd gen Americans feel extra pressure to be thin?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 26 16:17:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78z24z/do_any_other_2nd_gen3rd_gen_americans_feel_extra/
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It's not even my parents.... but like when we go visit my family in Russia I don't want to be "that obese American". I don't want to be a stereotype. My cousins there, they're ballerinas. One is a model. And they're TINY. The one closest to my age is 5'8 and 100 lbs. I don't wanna be that fat American girl who eats barbecue and tacos, I want to be the skinny Russian girl who's a dancer.
[Help] Period, where you at? Do I need to worry?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 26 16:02:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78yyir/period_where_you_at_do_i_need_to_worry/
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[deleted]
[Help] Foot Cramps
/u/untroubledbyaspark [SW:rubanesque|CW:skinnyBitch|GW:androgynousAlien]
Created: Thu Oct 26 15:20:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78yp3w/foot_cramps/
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Anyone else with restrictive ed get crazy foot cramps? I know I'm hydrated af, and I thought I was getting enough potassium but I'll have to get that checked out. Anything else cause this besides potassium deficiency or dehydration? It's a new thing, and it's been happening mostly while driving, which is a bitch.
Re: potassium, I don't like bananas. I understand raisins and potatoes are pretty high, but I will definitely not be eating that crap. I eat a lot of kale and other leafy stuff though, which is supposed to be good. Any other suggestions?
Edit: also drinking a lot of club soda, which has a good chunk of the ol' K.
[Rant/Rave] Whelp, I just broke a fast at 113hrs with 3 friggen donuts.
/u/Funktionierende [25F | 5'2" | CW131.2lbs | SW185lbs | GW100lbs | BMI24]
Created: Thu Oct 26 15:04:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78yl86/whelp_i_just_broke_a_fast_at_113hrs_with_3/
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Someone brought donuts in to work and I caved, hard. 900 calories in about fifteen minutes. Dammit. Guess I'm starting over now.... Hour 0. At least I broke through and weighed in below 130 this morning for the first time in my adult life. If I weigh more than 130 tomorrow because of this I'm going to be so mad. Guess I'm going to be hitting the gym hard tonight.
[Tip] Thank you to whoever shared Gerber puffs idea
/u/luxklepto
Created: Thu Oct 26 14:55:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78yiya/thank_you_to_whoever_shared_gerber_puffs_idea/
---
You are amazing. Here they are for whoever missed that post. I can't seem to dig up that link again. https://www.amazon.com/Gerber-Graduates-Strawberry-Naturally-Packaging/dp/B000FPM22Y?th=1
But literally, 25 calories for 60 of them. I feel like I'm snacking when I eat them, and I almost feel guilty until I remind myself it's only been 25 calories.
Something else I discovered in the gluten free section today is 0 calorie noodles. They're called miracle noodles. They come in a clear bag with water in it. They have 0 calories, and they are already cooked. Put some soy sauce on it (10), and it's amazing.
Also something else I found is really great is apple cider vinegar. Mix it with some flavored electrolyte drink and it kind of tastes like kombucha except it's 0 calories.
[Rant/Rave] I'm afraid to look at my weight
/u/luxklepto
Created: Thu Oct 26 14:51:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78yhxn/im_afraid_to_look_at_my_weight/
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I feel like every time I look at my weight, and it's lower than I expect, and I feel happy with it, I'll binge. I've been doing really well lately, and I don't want to mess it up. The last time I looked at my weight, it was really high because of a carb binge, so I feel like as long as I mentally think I'm at that weight, I won't mess up.
[Rant/Rave] A little achievement
/u/bettervern
Created: Thu Oct 26 14:46:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78ygrb/a_little_achievement/
---
Been struggling with binging and purging for at least 2 years. I could never have any snacks in the house, tonight I went out for dinner whilst trying to have a fairly balanced day between the gym and nutrition. On the way home I stopped for snacks, even though I knew I didn’t need them... or really want them.
I was looking forward to my binge and trying all the way back to justify it in my own head (“I’ll work harder in the gym tomorrow, this will be the last time etc) but I managed to get home and put the snacks away in the cupboard and not eat them.
This is a HUGE achievement for me!! I know it seems like nothing but I really want to acknowledge it somewhere! This is someone who couldn’t have snacks anywhere near her for 2 years without getting anxious, maybe I am getting somewhere after all.
[Rant/Rave] aaaa! actually had some self control today!
/u/deerb0y
Created: Thu Oct 26 14:40:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78yf5n/aaaa_actually_had_some_self_control_today/
---
context: my weight, i think, is at its highest it's been at 114.8 lbs. i'm usually in and out of eating and restricting. over the summer, all i did was eat my depression and out of pure boredom, but i did manage to get to my lowest weight of the year, 107.2 lbs. my rational side tends to kick in, going "you can eat, its no big deal. you gotta live somehow." and then, this side of me starts yelling "food = fat!"
i don't exercise like i should which has resulted in my stomach becoming this squishy, rolly monstrosity and my thighgap is nonexistent. so, last night, i decided to get back into the swing of things and get a hold of myself, dammit.
for lunch today at school, i actually felt full of 12 grapes and fat free yogurt!
12 grapes = 24 calories
Danimals yogurt = 70 calories with a grand total of 94 calories! i'm so proud of myself! i consumed 16oz of water so far and i'm working on 74 oz of diet pepsi for energy since i only got 3 hours of sleep last night.
so ye, accomplishments! it's the little things, i guess.
[Discussion] Is anyone else addicted to these? 25 calories for the whole pack and they trick my brain into thinking I’m eating sushi.
/u/MhmStephany [5'3" |-44 lbs | UGW 101]
Created: Thu Oct 26 14:39:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78yeuz/is_anyone_else_addicted_to_these_25_calories_for/
---
https://i.imgur.com/1PevmkK.jpg
[Discussion] How often do you weigh yourself?
/u/cookiecutterhands
Created: Thu Oct 26 14:36:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78ye93/how_often_do_you_weigh_yourself/
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I have an insane preoccupation with weighing myself every chance I get. I can weigh myself upwards of 25 times a day hoping for the result to change even by just .1 lbs. I weigh myself first thing when I wake up, as much as a can throughout the day, and right before I go to bed. I do it so often that I move my scale around the house and weigh myself consecutively in different places to see if the scale is just placed in a weird spot or not. I'm strange, I guess.
[Discussion] Doea restricting/fasting help anyone else identify their problem foods?
/u/water_77 [🍀🌺🍀]
Created: Thu Oct 26 14:34:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78ydp3/doea_restrictingfasting_help_anyone_else_identify/
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So I occasionally do IF (especially during exam season bc anxiety) and I've found that certain foods (TMI up ahead!!) give me diarrhea lol. So like whenever I eat bread or dairy I have to stick around a bathroom for an hour after. Which ofc makes me want to eat it less because I convince myself I'm kinda allergic to it.
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend wants me to build muscles
/u/faithls
Created: Thu Oct 26 14:26:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78ybrh/my_boyfriend_wants_me_to_build_muscles/
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Hes into body building. When i met him i was restricting and only consuming max 400 calaries a day. He wants me to eat and go to the gym with him. It hurts because his ideal type of woman is someone thick with a big ass. Hes always talking about how he wants me to "be healthy" with him and go to the gym. I dont want a big ass and i dont want thick thighs. I dont want abs.
Does anyone else have this problem? How do you deal with it?
[Rant/Rave] Just saw my weight in the 120's for the first time since 2013 :')
/u/Zurthrow [5'4| CW:132 | HW:150 | GW1:130 | 22F]
Created: Thu Oct 26 13:50:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78y37v/just_saw_my_weight_in_the_120s_for_the_first_time/
---
https://imgur.com/a/n0jZ6
[Rant/Rave] Got my hands on some laxatives for the first time in forever
/u/starvingarthoe
Created: Thu Oct 26 13:47:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78y2aj/got_my_hands_on_some_laxatives_for_the_first_time/
---
RIP kidneys.
Actually this was a godsend. I hadn't pooped in 3 days, I was uncomfortably bloated, retaining water, and the pressure was making my back contusion act up. I took some last night and this morning and by noon I was relieved. Now I just gotta exercise some control and only use them in emergencies. I won't hold my breath though
[Help] Malfunctioning scale
/u/noidea744 [5'3| CW 110.8 | BMI 20|F]
Created: Thu Oct 26 13:41:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78y0xm/malfunctioning_scale/
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I checked my scale with 2, 4 and 6 kg weights as always (I have uneven floors so I need to find a level spot that gives and accurate reading) it was working perfectly with the weights but the stupid scale has given me a different reading just about every time I've stepped on it ( which has been atleast 20 times.) The difference is like 3lbs. Does anyone have any experience with something like this? Do i need a new scale? I'm really frustrated and confused just now
[Help] Stuck in the 150s.
/u/itszwee [5'3"| SW 176.X | CW ???.? | LW: 154.6 | UGW 115 |]
Created: Thu Oct 26 13:41:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78y0vf/stuck_in_the_150s/
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I've burned through ~20 lbs from July-early September, but for the past six weeks or so I've been stuck in the mid 150s range. It's really disheartening considering the same thing happened to me about three years ago and when I recovered I went back to my SW (which was my same SW in July). And because I had a major breakdown/personal emergency this week, I've been overeating a lot lately (not hugely, but like way more than my usual) and I'm terrified that this is the end for me, that I'll balloon back up again. Does anyone have advice for breaking out of this?
Malfunctioning scale?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 26 13:40:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78y0n5/malfunctioning_scale/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] target girl
/u/band-aide [5'6 | CW: 125 | SW: 140 | F/18]
Created: Thu Oct 26 13:06:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78xsm9/target_girl/
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i go to school in chicago and i have seen a particular girl three times. she's so skinny and gorgeous like she's just a bit shorter than i am and she's like 80 lbs AT MOST and i get that feeling when i see her, like, she looks like she totally struggles with an eating disorder. it's like when you're at the store and you see someone else doing the weird shit people like us do, checking calories and comparing multiple things, or putting stuff back, one time i even just bought halo top and laxatives. something just totally looks off. but i've seen her twice, never even saw her face. i was behind her both times. she's so skinny i just *know* it's her. i wish i could approach her but that's so patronizing and weird and wrong, i would absolutely hate it if someone went up to me and tried to be like, "hah, me too."
anyway i was in target today and looking at socks, and i feel someone come up near me sorta, mostly behind me. i turn and it's her i was like holy shit this is so weird i never run into strangers time and time again! but as soon as i turned she walked away. i was like fuckkk it's her like i don't know why i'm so hung up on this i think i sound super creepy so i'm sorry if i'm just being a freak!
does anybody else feel this or am i being weird? she's like my goal weight and it's rare i run into someone who can relate to all the shitty stuff that having an ED comes with. you ever see someone that you can tell is struggling and you wanna be like "holy fuck, same dude" but you can't because that's just not fucking cool?
[Rant/Rave] Uncomfortable with my body during hookups, and now I feel like absolute shit
/u/trackandhp7 [5'3" | GW 98]
Created: Thu Oct 26 13:03:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78xrrd/uncomfortable_with_my_body_during_hookups_and_now/
---
I'm not one for casual sex. It always drains me of any happiness because I feel like I'm being used, and I can't take the experience as lightly as the guy I'm with can. On Saturday, my ex called me and I think he did it in order to show that he had very obviously moved on from me. I got super depressed and thought I'd try moving on as well. I hooked up with a guy who hasn't called or texted me since, and I just feel terrible. While we were together, he would grab parts of my body, like my stomach or thighs, and to me that just emphasized how gross they are for him to be able to handle them like that. I couldn't enjoy myself because I hate the way I look, and I knew that obviously this guy was only with me because of the way I look, and nothing deeper, and ever since this has happened, it's made me even more critical of my appearance and of how other people view it. Also, since my ex moved on so fast, I guess my personality and charm aren't anything to linger over either. I don't know if I'm describing this very well but I was just generally hoping for support about how to think of myself as more than an ugly bag of skin and fat, because I feel like I'm about to go down a really dark hole.
Diet pills
/u/Averagedrugaddict
Created: Thu Oct 26 12:41:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78xmmd/diet_pills/
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[removed]
[Tip] It's pomegranate season!!
/u/hopelessly--hopeful [5'4" | puts whales to shame| F| 23]
Created: Thu Oct 26 12:34:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78xkxf/its_pomegranate_season/
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Ughhh I'm so excited poms are finally back in season and love the work it takes to extract each seed from the rest of the fruit--usually by the time I've gotten all the little seeds out, I'm not even hungry anymore and can save it for later. They're also about as low cal as any other fruit. Just thought I'd share my excitement with y'all!!! 😄😄😄😄😄😄
[Rant/Rave] I feel so disgusted with myself.
/u/itsmeandthemoon [5'3 | 279 | 50.79 | Female]
Created: Thu Oct 26 12:19:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78xh7b/i_feel_so_disgusted_with_myself/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Either going to kill my husband or myself....
/u/UnderseaK [5'7 | cw: 150lbs | gw: 110lbs | -97lb]
Created: Thu Oct 26 12:08:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78xed1/either_going_to_kill_my_husband_or_myself/
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So, I've been going to therapy since my GP diagnosed me with anorexia, but I feel pretty ambivalent about "recovery". However, I've been putting on a decent show of it for my husband, who wants me to get better waaaaaay more than I do.
Last night, I was feeling particularly non-recovery oriented, and my brain was chasing itself in circles. In the midst of this, my husband comes up, wraps his arms around me, and says with love "You know babe, I think your breasts are filling out again! You really are getting so much better."
Aaannnnddd now I can't eat today and my throat hurts from purging last night. Kill me.
[Rant/Rave] Freaking out.
/u/Theonewhosaysno
Created: Thu Oct 26 11:55:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78xb66/freaking_out/
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On mobile/don't know how to flair. Just need to vent.
So this is a throwaway/new account. My husband is on Reddit and is already "worried" that I'm unhappy for some reason. Ugh. I usually lurk just because I feel better knowing that other people feel like me, but today I have nowhere to turn.
Anyway, I typically fast at least 20 hours every day. I'm a preschool teacher so it's easy to just not eat during the work day. Today, the kids were served popcorn chicken mashed potato bowls. (My favorite). I brought some riced cauliflower to replace the potatoes but I completely overate. I had everything: gravy, corn, popcorn chicken, stawberries and peaches. I can't accurately measure everything at my job because I'm mostly herding cats and putting out fires. By estimation, I had about 523 calories. That's almost all I have on most week days.
So now my kids are all napping and I'm not in a good headspace for them when they awake.
What do I do? Work out again after work? (I do spin class in the morning for an hour. Burnt ~421 calories there). I could do another hour before my husband comes home from work. Pretend to be sick and skip dinner? My hubby will for sure call me out if I just don't eat. Or call it a wash and take a self care day and make my turkey meatloaf for dinner as planned?
I would do a longer fast tomorrow but we have friends coming into town for Halloween for the weekend. I know I'm going to feel like a miserable cow on Monday no matter what. I already can't break down below 129 because I'm a weak human who thinks about food constantly. I just need to vent and support from people who understand. My husband always just says "You're being crazy. I love you. Calm down."
[Intro] Was weighed today by my Doctor. Now I feel like a loser...
/u/agent_philcoulson [5'4" | CW: 140 | GW: 120]
Created: Thu Oct 26 11:52:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78xaf3/was_weighed_today_by_my_doctor_now_i_feel_like_a/
---
Just found this sub and I think it's perfect for what I'm going through. I'm 27 and my doctor confirmed that I am now 140 pounds. Throughout high school and college, I weighed 100 pounds and was going through a bad time with my ED. I managed to over come it and brought myself to what I thought was a healthy weight for me, 120 pounds.
I have fluctuated a bit in the last few years, between meeting my boyfriend and settling down. I also started going to the gym with my mom.
I was diagnosed with bipolar a few months ago and was put on meds. They are supposed to be weight friendly, but in the last 3 months I went from 125 to 140!
I can feel my unhealthy urges come back and I don't know what to do! I'm so disappointed in myself.
I'm probably going to put myself on a strict 1000 calorie diet and see where that gets me. I really don't want to loose the muscle I've gained from going to the gym. I surprisingly love how thick my legs look. I just want my stomach to be pretty :'(
[Rant/Rave] My body is the only thing I have to be proud of at this point [rant]
/u/am_i_the_grasshole [5'8 | CW:122 | 18.4 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 26 11:41:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78x7lg/my_body_is_the_only_thing_i_have_to_be_proud_of/
---
I hate my fucking life right now. I used to be so impressive and so good at things. I used to be able to look at my friends and cousins and feel all smug and superior, because my life was going well.
But now I'm unemployed and living with my parents at 25. Pretty much unhireable because it turns out my masters degree from a really good school that I felt so smug about for the past couple years while I was doing it, is completely useless. I have no hard skills. I am the cliche liberal arts fuck up.
My boyfriend is going goddamn bald and I hate that. He's my favorite person and the only one I've ever really gotten along with in a consistent I want them around all the time way, but now I'm losing the physical attraction because he's starting to look like an old bald man. And he's unemployed as well like me, so there's really nothing impressive about him. I used to feel smug about him too because I always thought he was better looking than my friend's boyfriends, but now that's gone.
I know I probably deserve to be miserable and unimpressive and going nowhere in life, because I was always so much of a smug insufferable person before. I thought I had accomplishments when really I'd never even done anything.
Literally the only thing that gives me a shred of self esteem is knowing that most of the other people I know my age have terrible bodies already. I know objectively that most of them look fine and probably objectively look better than me because the thicker fuller look is preferred by most people. But looking at their instagrams and comparing their bodies to mine is like the only thing that gives me that smug happy feeling at this point.
And even though it's terrible, that feeling is pretty much my driving motivation for doing anything.
[Help] How to stay on track while not doing much?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 26 11:20:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78x2gv/how_to_stay_on_track_while_not_doing_much/
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[deleted]
[Help] I don't think I've ever been stuck in a binge cycle THIS bad. Please help me break out of it...
/u/mina1200
Created: Thu Oct 26 11:18:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78x1y3/i_dont_think_ive_ever_been_stuck_in_a_binge_cycle/
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Any tips?? Been stuck in one since last Wednesday, eating around 8000 calories everyday. What even is normal eating? Before Wednesday last week, I was on top of the world with really restricted eating and occasional fasting. But I just feel like I've lost all control and I'm just snowballing further and further down. I fucking hate myself right now. Please help.
What I had today:
- cereal bar (it was free at my uni, and what fucking started everything today. <yesterday was a whole other story>)
- two baguette sandwiches
- one huge cheeseburger
- brownie
- large scone
- cheese scone
- plate of fries
- pot of ramen noodles
- big kit kat bar
- bag of hummus chips
- cheese crackers
- ginger cookies
- 4 large white chocolate chip cookies
- small pack of coconut chips
fuck. my sanity is literally drifting away from me, i can't bear to look at myself. the guilt is too much. please someone help me..
[Goal] I DONE DID IT Y’ALL (yeehaw)
/u/missdreavuss [5'5 |SW: 142 |CW: 125 |20.6 |GW 115 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 26 11:13:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78x0vm/i_done_did_it_yall_yeehaw/
---
I hope you read that in a super southern accent. Anyway, I MET MY FIRST BIG GOAL!
I wanted to be 125 before November and I actually did it! Escaping the 130s was hellish and took forever but once I was at 129 the weight just wanted to fall off! I feel so proud of myself and really accomplished. My next goal is 115 and I know I can do it!
I feel like my body has gotten used to 300 or less calories a day which is sweet, and I find that I’m not getting quite as lightheaded as I used to.
This subreddit keeps me going and I’m always looking at it and trying everyone’s suggestions and recipes, so thanks to all of you on here for constantly giving me motivation! I love you all 💘
[Discussion] Full on 300 calories??
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | SW: 130 | CW: ~125 | GW: small | 20F]
Created: Thu Oct 26 10:46:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78wu09/full_on_300_calories/
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After only 3 days of restricting, I decided to let myself eat some lunch today. I got a modest sandwich, about 300 calories. And I was convinced I'd be so ravenous that I'd eat the whole damn thing and still be starving, and fall back into binge mode.
Except I ate half the sandwich and then took a break so my stomach could adjust. Ate some carrots (<35 cals). Drank some Silk (100 more cals). Had some coffee with cream (25). Two glasses of water. And now my stomach is painfully full????
I'm terrified and thrilled at the same time and don't know what to do with myself. Does this happen to anyone else?
[Help] Low blood pressure.
/u/throw3344away999
Created: Thu Oct 26 10:12:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78wlu4/low_blood_pressure/
---
I've had 700 calories in 2 days, and i was sitting in class and just felt I was going to pass out.
I dont want to eat, i dont have money or food. I could go to Subway (credit card not accepted in my uni) and buy a turkey sandwich but feel extremely guilty.
What can i do?
[Tip] Finally recreated an almost 0 cal version of Starbs Sangria Herbal Tea!
/u/mildolconf [5'9" | 134.2 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 26 10:11:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78wlkf/finally_recreated_an_almost_0_cal_version_of/
---
So it was a few seasons ago but when Starbucks came out with their Sangria Herbal Tea I was obssessed. Of course the juice and everything had unnecessary cals I didn't want to waste, so I finally went about recreating a 0 cal version and it tastes almost exactly the same!
•Tazo Passion tea
•frozen berries (I like a rasberry/blueberry/blackberry mix)
•Kroger brand Apple & Black currant "liquid water enhancer" (MIO copycat)
I just brewed a pitcher of passion tea & put it in the fridge. Fill a cup with ice & frozen berries, pour tea over it, add the apple/black currant flavor & you're done! So good. I wanted to asd orange slices to but Kroger didn't have any unfortunately. Enjoy & let me know if anyone tries it!
[Thinspo] Has this song stuck on repeat for a few days now, Nobody Loves A Fat Girl - Jim Croce.
/u/IttyBittyBatty [5'5"| -11.6lb | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 26 10:03:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78wjb2/has_this_song_stuck_on_repeat_for_a_few_days_now/
---
https://youtu.be/UYsNas6TS5c
how to survive the holidays?
/u/zubatofficial
Created: Thu Oct 26 09:37:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78wcw2/how_to_survive_the_holidays/
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[removed]
[Other] Treatment centres in the SF Bay Area?
/u/skinnyfuckup
Created: Thu Oct 26 09:22:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78w9eb/treatment_centres_in_the_sf_bay_area/
---
The gig is up. My parents are forcing me to recover and tbh, I think I’m sort of ready for it. I’ve let this disorder completely fuck up my life (lost friends, dropped out of college, severe anxiety/depression, etc) so here I go. I talked to my doctor yesterday and went over some options and I was wondering if anyone here has experiences with the programs that she recommended. The three that I’m considering most are Casa Serena, Alta Bates, and Center for Discovery. Please hit me up if you have any experience with these. Hope you all have a beautiful day blessed with Halo Top, Coke Zero, and cantaloupe.
[Discussion] October 26th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 26 09:00:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78w3x0/october_26th_2017_question_of_the_day/
---
I’m back from vacation guys, and starting the Question of the Day back up!
Today’s is a really doozy 😬
How do you feel about your body?
[Help] Am I sick enough?
/u/Banana-Ghost
Created: Thu Oct 26 08:50:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78w1kl/am_i_sick_enough/
---
I don't know. Maybe I'm not.
I had a first therapy session in August about my anxiety and eating problems and I'm on the waitlist since then.
I wish I could go to a private therapist but I can't afford it. I'm on this waitlist because this place is connected to my uni and I won't pay for anything because of my scholarship. My parents don't know about any of this either because they can't afford it as well and I would not dare to ask them.
I feel like taking my name off of the list. I'm not underweight. I have a BMI of 21 and I eat 1200 calories a day. I hate myself for eating so much and I binge sometimes. It's not good. I only lost 12kg since January and I feel fat. But I'm not like many of you that are underweight and struggle with purging and other ed related things. I'm not sick enough.
I want to kill myself. I tried having a limit on 600 calories a day but I cried and I got anxious and my boyfriend (who lives with me) was so worried and I couldn't focus in my studies.
I just wish I could live on air and not feel hungry anymore. I wish I did not have this voice inside my head comparing me to everyone else. I don't know how any of this works in the UK or the US and I don't know how long that waitlist could be. I should just get my name off of that.
[Help] Experiences on Zoloft?
/u/RemtheCat
Created: Thu Oct 26 08:40:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78vzea/experiences_on_zoloft/
---
I just started taking Zoloft, and my doctor said most people don’t gain weight but I’m really concerned. :-/ Has anyone else here found it made them hungrier/less hungry? Weight gain or loss?
[Rant/Rave] Called out of my shift today, without coverage, using the phrase "stomach problem"
/u/invisibone [5'5" | CAN MUSCLE REALLY WEIGH THAT MUCH MORE| F |]
Created: Thu Oct 26 06:59:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78vd9i/called_out_of_my_shift_today_without_coverage/
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Anyone else feel *totally* justified in using that and letting everybody assume the vomiting is virus based? Certainly feels involuntary most of the time. I *am* SICK goddammit. I *was* up all night with my face in the toilet and got no sleep D:
[Rant/Rave] Super tiny loss from water fast??
/u/january_baby
Created: Thu Oct 26 06:58:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78vd8e/super_tiny_loss_from_water_fast/
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Hi! Longtime lurker but need to vent cause I'm so disappointed and sad... I've been on a water/coffee fast for three days; first one I've ever done and it was really difficult. But I kept myself really strict (really 0 cal) and motivated myself with other reading other folk's story of losing like 5 lbs at a time. This morning I was so excited to weigh myself and lo and behold... I literally lost only 1.8 lbs in 78 hrs of fasting. I'm 5'4 and went from 122.6 to 120.8. After factoring in for water weight and the bounce back that most people experience, I feel like I barely lost any weight at all, even though I put my body through physical and emotional torture and denial. I'm just so angry at my body--there's no payoff, no results, even the most drastic measures a person can take (literally starving...) doesn't get me anywhere. It's really really demoralizing... now I'm thinking to just fast for another day cause fuck it looking at food just makes me hate my fat even more...,
[Help] 130lbs...how?
/u/ibizadaydreams [5'1 | CW120 | 22.7 | GW95| F]
Created: Thu Oct 26 06:15:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78v56p/130lbshow/
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I'm struggling so much. It's like the more I try and the more I want to lose weight the more weight I gain and the more I binge.....
I've never weighed this much in my life. I had just lost so much in such a short amount of time and now this.
My trip is in about 30 days. I'm supposed to buy the new clothes for it this weekend. I don't deserve to go shopping.
I don't know how to get out of this binge/purge cycle. I hate this so much.
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support October 26, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Oct 26 06:11:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78v4ew/weekly_emotional_support_october_26_2017/
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We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 26, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Oct 26 06:09:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78v46b/daily_food_diary_october_26_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 26, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] the woosh continues
/u/nervous_nandu [5'5" | CW 120.6 | LW/GW 98| 20F]
Created: Thu Oct 26 06:05:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78v3cl/the_woosh_continues/
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See last post for details and a week long time line but its still happening!
on the 23rd i was at 124.2
on the 24th 123.0
on the 25th 122.8
AND TODAY I REACHED 120.6!!!!
happy wooshing!
[Rant/Rave] So freaking nervous
/u/ohwellolivia
Created: Thu Oct 26 04:31:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78uod6/so_freaking_nervous/
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So my therapist emailed me this week saying I needed to bring in baked goods to challenge myself this week in session, because last week I had a panic attack over half of a piece of cake. I’m absolutely dreading it. I bought my favorite chocolate chip muffins (she’s going to eat one with me) and I KNOW I’m gonna be sick from it.
I had to break my 104 hour fast early this morning, so I wouldn’t throw up while eating that fucking muffin. I’m so fucking nervous and feel sick from this yogurt I’m eating.
I’ll let y’all know how it goes, but I’m not holding my breath. Wish me luck!!
Edited to add that I was at my lowest weight this morning and I finally felt okay about my body and now it’s fucked. I also have to chaperone a bunch of teenagers to a conference in Connecticut and don’t wanna pass out in the airport so I guess I gotta do this 🤷🏼♀️
[Help] Has anyone tried White Kidney Bean extract as a carb blocker?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 26 04:24:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78unco/has_anyone_tried_white_kidney_bean_extract_as_a/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] The glorious fat day
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Thu Oct 26 04:12:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78ulml/the_glorious_fat_day/
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Anyone else having an especially “feel like a whale” day? I mean most days I feel too big but some days are definitely worse and I just turn into a grumpy human. Everything has been sucking recently, just want to curl up in the bed, turn my brain off and stop constantly thinking about my body and food!
[Rant/Rave] Put some pens on my lap without thinking yesterday and they fell through a gap that's suddenly between my thighs when I sit down ^^
/u/liliannereid [170 cm | CW: 64.2 kg | SW: 78.1 kg | UGW: 58.5-60.5 kg | 26F]
Created: Thu Oct 26 03:46:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78uhyo/put_some_pens_on_my_lap_without_thinking/
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[Help] is there any drugs or pills can take that make me want to eat less or better, erase my appetite?
/u/euphorichigh
Created: Thu Oct 26 00:20:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78tqwu/is_there_any_drugs_or_pills_can_take_that_make_me/
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[removed]
[Help] Purged fully for the first time today
/u/Glazed9000 [5'7' | 125 |]
Created: Wed Oct 25 23:52:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78tmwz/purged_fully_for_the_first_time_today/
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I was doing so well with intermittent fasting since last week, and eating around 700-1000 calories.
But today I was around some really negative people, and they were eating so much junk food and talking about how fat and ugly they were. I went home and lost control. I ended up finishing the day at 1900 calories. I couldn't let that happen, so I went to throw up.
Now my head is hurting. Also, I weighed myself and im still up a pound wtf?
[Discussion] What was your worst binge cycle, and how did you break out of it?
/u/daeboo [5ft1.5🌙97lbs]
Created: Wed Oct 25 23:50:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78tmj6/what_was_your_worst_binge_cycle_and_how_did_you/
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Its official. I've reached the weight I swore I'd commit suicide at a year ago. I don't know what to do, all I ever think about is eating, eating, distracting myself with food until I'm desperate and furious at myself but unable to stop.
Just looking for a little bit of hope.
[Help] I can't purge, and I have like zero self-control.
/u/Squirrella
Created: Wed Oct 25 23:04:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78tft6/i_cant_purge_and_i_have_like_zero_selfcontrol/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Eugenia Cooley, I stg
/u/123578 [5'6 | 113 | GW 98 | 14f]
Created: Wed Oct 25 22:54:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78te77/eugenia_cooley_i_stg/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] My best friend wants to fight me tomorrow
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 25 22:29:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78ta80/my_best_friend_wants_to_fight_me_tomorrow/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] I love watching things like this -- Documentary from a UK weight loss ward.
/u/IttyBittyBatty [5'5"| -11.6lb | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 25 22:05:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78t6cf/i_love_watching_things_like_this_documentary_from/
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[Barcroft](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iHkc_eCrVMw) is a great YouTube channel for this masochistic stuff.
[Discussion] does hydrolyzed collagen powder make anyone else nauseous?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18| f | 22]
Created: Wed Oct 25 21:44:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78t2fi/does_hydrolyzed_collagen_powder_make_anyone_else/
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took some earlier mixed with coffee, fell asleep & just woke up feeling super sick. it also could totally be from tiredness or, idk, eating 800 calories/day & generally treating my body like shit who KNOWS
lmao just thought i'd ask if the powder/supplement makes anyone else feel sick
[Discussion] Weirdest lies you've told to get out of eating?
/u/123578 [5'6 | 113 | GW 98 | 14f]
Created: Wed Oct 25 21:41:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78t1zg/weirdest_lies_youve_told_to_get_out_of_eating/
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I was at summer camp once when I was like 12 and there was really good food/desserts, I never ate much and my table counselor was a little worried I think and my whole table always bothered me about why I didn't eat the ice cream and stuff like that. So I told them I was diabetic and even pretended to go to the nurses table every morning
[Rant/Rave] I survived the late-night McDonald's trip [rant/rave]
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | SW: 130 | CW: ~125 | GW: small | 20F]
Created: Wed Oct 25 21:37:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78t1b7/i_survived_the_latenight_mcdonalds_trip_rantrave/
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I've been successfully restricting since Monday (not that long, but considerably lengthy for me) and a friend invited me to go to McDonald's. I'd already eaten up to my limit for the day.
It was so hard but I managed to just get a black coffee. Praise the Lord 😅
This might seem super small, but it's honestly such a victory. One mistake could've sent me spiralling, ya know?
[Rant/Rave] DAE really hate the HAES/ Fat acceptance movement?
/u/ScrunchiesandDraino [❤️5’8”💛cw:260💚gw:145💙|🍑@bulimiaisso87]
Created: Wed Oct 25 21:21:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78syk0/dae_really_hate_the_haes_fat_acceptance_movement/
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like i really hate it, and i used to really believe in that shit, which is what triggered (lmao i hate that word) me into stopping losing weight when i was in high school and first starting my restricting and purging behaviors. that was good, but i ended up moving into just bingeing, and gaining about 100lbs overall in the past 6 years, and it sucks!!! it straight up sucks being fat and i hate that they try to say otherwise.
also the fact that they are REALLY anti eating disorder, and call anyone with a bmi of <25 anorexic, which doesn’t even make sense???? there’s a lot of fat people who have eating disorders. I mean hell, 90% of the HAES movement most likely has BED.
it just infuriates me that these people are literally forcing people into believing obesity is healthy, while also hating all of us for having a mental illness, and even going as far as using the disorders we all have as insults against actually healthy, but skinny, people.
idk whether to tag this as rant/rave or discussion but whatevs
eta: a lot more people have commented on this than i thought! just to clarify: I am technically obese, I am not healthy now and by having an eating disorder and posting and being involved here I know it’s not helping me be healthier, just thinner. I still don’t like the HAES/FA movement and the people that say “oh i don’t eat that much but I gain weight” because you literally cannot gain weight if you eat less than what you burn in a day.
[Rant/Rave] They left me to it.
/u/floatingalong_ [5'6" | CW: 94 | CBMI: 15.2 | GW: 85lbs | F]
Created: Wed Oct 25 20:28:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78soip/they_left_me_to_it/
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So got referred back to MH services for various things. ED being one of them sort of (94lbs at 5'6"). I told them I've been losing weight and am having a lot of trouble basically doing everything/existing and they've discharged me to some other team that I've got to wait months for, because apparently they've got nothing they can offer me. I kind of wanted to attempt recovery again, you know. I can't function. But now I'm like, fuck it, what's the point?
I feel like no one gives a shit. Might as well just carry on right?
[Discussion] Favorite cigarette brand?
/u/histrionicbitch [5'2" | 99 | 18 | 45 lbs | Female]
Created: Wed Oct 25 20:21:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78sn1u/favorite_cigarette_brand/
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For anyone who smokes for appetite suppression, what are y'all's favorite smoke?
[Rant/Rave] I’m now terrified of soup.
/u/FireForSale [27F| 5'2.5" | LW: 92 | GW: 103 | CW: 187]
Created: Wed Oct 25 20:01:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78sj6u/im_now_terrified_of_soup/
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This occurred twenty minutes ago.
I was having dinner at my parents house and my mother asked what sounded good. It was a kind of dreary and cooler day in the PNW and I wanted warm soup as I’m fighting a cold. Soup, despite the sodium, has always been safe for me.
So, my mom made minestrone soup and pillsbury biscuits but I passed on the biscuit. I filled one ladle of the hearty stuff (pasta and vegetables) and one of broth into a bowl. In total it was probably just shy of a full serving which in the bag says is one cup. I sat down and my mother turned to me and explained “Jeeze! Did you take all the pasta?!” Then she shoves her coffee mug forward and boasts how hers is mostly broth while using her spoon to sift around and show the rest.
I quite instantly put my plate down and turned to watch the news. She then asks me “What’s wrong? EAT!” My Dad goes “Jesus Jan!” immediately realizing what the fuck just happened.
And then I burst into tears. My mom starts begging for my forgiveness, going on and on about how she “would never intentionally hurt me.” and that she “forgot how sensitive I still am.” I was so upset I left.
That was my night and now I’m terrified of soup.
[Help] yooo feel like I'm gonna binge, help please???
/u/TSputnik [5'3" | CW 131 | HW 210 | UGW 100]
Created: Wed Oct 25 19:57:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78sian/yooo_feel_like_im_gonna_binge_help_please/
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I'm just trying to clean my apartment because it's a cluttered wreck of chaos and I hate it, but a lot of cleaning tasks (ESPECIALLY DISHES AAAGAHGHAG) make me wanna grab random food in the cabinets and snack, which then makes me wanna binge. I'm on the brink of my calorie limit for the day and I just need to stoooppp what should I do?
I thought about playing a video game or something to distract myself but I seriously hate the condition my apartment is in now and I feel like I HAVE to clean or I will be anxious all night >>8(((
Advice would be appreciated, I'm just gonna chew gum in the meantime...
[Discussion] thoughts on fasting?
/u/abysmal404
Created: Wed Oct 25 19:45:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78sfrw/thoughts_on_fasting/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Thoughts on drinking extra virgin olive oil?
/u/luxklepto
Created: Wed Oct 25 19:33:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78sdi9/thoughts_on_drinking_extra_virgin_olive_oil/
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Apparently this is a thing. People drink 2 tbsp of extra virgin olive oil and like it's good for them because healthy fats? What are your thoughts? I tried to today, but I really couldn't bring myself to do it.
What's everyone's average daily cal count?
/u/grave_stoned [6'1" / F / CW: 163 / GW: 140 / -84]
Created: Wed Oct 25 19:14:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78s9kg/whats_everyones_average_daily_cal_count/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Best compliment of my life
/u/PrincessOfJupiter
Created: Wed Oct 25 18:56:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78s5r9/best_compliment_of_my_life/
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So I recently returned home from Yunnan province (for the autumn festival). While I was there, I was out for iced coffee with a new group of friends.
One of the girls said to me, "You must drink a lot of white tea before having meals, because you are so slim."
I got called slim... In China! Holy shit! *I'm thin by Chinese standards you guys!* **SCREAM**
[Rant/Rave] Lactose intolerance = ice cream is both a binge and a purge
/u/acloudlesssky
Created: Wed Oct 25 18:30:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78s0uf/lactose_intolerance_ice_cream_is_both_a_binge_and/
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Anyone else lactose intolerant? Ice cream makes me so sick, it works like a lax. About an hour after eating some, I’m on the toilet until I’m totally empty. I know it’s probably (most likely) bad for my insides, but if I need a big sugary binge, ice cream makes me feel like I don’t have to do anything to rectify the situation after eating it.
Anyone else relate?
[Help] How do I help my boyfriend?
/u/strawberryturtle42
Created: Wed Oct 25 18:16:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78rxon/how_do_i_help_my_boyfriend/
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My boyfriend (let's call him V) is relapsing. V was in treatment before I meet him, and I didn't even know about that part of his life until about three months ago.
At first I thought he was just forgetting to eat, as V is extremely forgetful. But then I started noticing that he just pushes everything around on his place and tosses it. He won't sit at the dinner table with us anymore, and he won't eat with anyone other than me in the room.
His mother (who lives with us) is extremely concerned, and was the one to tell me about it. We've both tried to make things that he likes, even his old 'safe' foods, but he takes two or three bites of something and says he's done.
We've also asked him to go see his old therapist, and he flat out refuses. He insists that his eating isn't a problem, and that he doesn't need help. I understand that he's got to want to recover on his own, but in the meantime I don't know how to help him. What should I do? How can I help him?
[Rant/Rave] Ever wonder how so many people are just going about their lives NOT thinking about food 24/7?
/u/stupidminnow
Created: Wed Oct 25 18:01:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78ruga/ever_wonder_how_so_many_people_are_just_going/
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Like what is on their mind at any given moment??? Sex? Work? Outer space? I think about food while having sex, while working, while having deep conversations with my mom, hell *while* I'm eating I'm thinking about food. I wish there was an off switch.
*Is* everyone secretly thinking about food 24/7 they just hide it really well?
[Rant/Rave] (rant) why does nothing ever turn out the way you plan?
/u/sadnddisordered [5'10.5 | 126 | 17.59 | -7 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 25 17:28:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78rnkg/rant_why_does_nothing_ever_turn_out_the_way_you/
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trigger warning for suicide mention
sometimes i feel like i have this world built up in my mind and i lie to myself and everyone else and fool myself into believing everything is better than it is and my life isn't as shitty as it really is
i cant get a fucking job i'm a part time lifeguard college drop out
every guy ive ever fucked or dated just used me while he pined for someone else and every time i delude myself into thinking maybe we'll date! maybe i have a chance! but no, i'm always Too Much and Too Crazy and whatever. and every time a guy gets bored of me and drops me its the same god damn reaction! it doesn't get any better no matter how many fucking times!! Because i'm an idiot!
i just want to die. i want to stop eating until im smaller and smaller and too small to exist and no one even notices im just gone
idk if this really fits here but i had to get it out and i feel like you guys might understand
[Discussion] DAE feel triggered by adult acne
/u/lists_n_shits [5'4" | CW 113 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 25 17:24:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78rmi5/dae_feel_triggered_by_adult_acne/
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At this point I don't know if my ed hurts or helps my skin problems, but breakouts are definitely triggering.
When I fast (especially just water + tea) my skin clears up so much & I feel so in control. I also get this feeling like ~ if my skin cant be perfect, at least my body can be!
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I naturally had perfect skin. I think I would care less about my figure, maybe not.
[Rant/Rave] rambling
/u/dyingtobepretty
Created: Wed Oct 25 17:20:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78rlv4/rambling/
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ive been anorexic for as long as i can remember but a few months ago i got really depressed and stopped caring about my appearance. i stopped doing my hair and makeup, stopped getting my nails done, stopped wearing real outfits, and started eating whatever and whenever i wanted. i gained a lot of weight but got back down to the healthy weight for my height just by exercising and eating less, but i knew i'd never get back to the weight im happiest at unless i went back to never eating. so i tried for a while but i just couldn't find the joy in starving that i used to find. i only cared about being skinny while i was trying to get dressed, and stopped caring once i threw on some sweats. i couldnt understand why, and then it finally clicked; i subconsciously knew i was going to feel ugly even if i was skinny. i used to be the really pretty "perfect" girl and now the lack of effort i put into myself made me feel like a blob with a birds nest for hair. EDs are a lifestyle; you have to care about every aspect of your appearance. so i cut my hair and bought all new makeup and got my nails done for the first time since i first gave up on myself and i feel hot again. after i did all of that i instantly snapped back into the mindset. hunger feels euphoric again. cigs = meals again. my appearance matters a ton again. i weighed myself and i already weigh considerably less than i expected. now it's been 3 days since i've eaten and i can already see how much flatter my stomach is. seeing all of this progress in myself makes me more motivated than ever to keep going. i'm so happy!!!!!!
[Rant/Rave] Naturally thin vs ED?
/u/Soranoir
Created: Wed Oct 25 17:07:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78rj4v/naturally_thin_vs_ed/
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Have you ever looked up to and been jealous of someone who you thought was naturally thin and found out that they actually do have some sort of eating disorder?
I have thin friends whom I have envied that I've come to realize, barely eat.
Which is technically an eating disorder, whether or not it is on purpose, they are thin because they are malnourished.
Do you think that more thin people than not have eating disorders rather than just having really great genetics and a sprinters metabolism?
[Discussion] Purging questions
/u/cookiecutterhands
Created: Wed Oct 25 16:48:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78rey2/purging_questions/
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I noticed that every time I purge, my eyes swell really bad and my face gets really red. It's so noticeable. I guess my question is, does this happen to everyone else? & if so, how can I make it go away or how can I blame it on something else?
[Discussion] Anyone else feel like they are living a lie?
/u/Rubywednesdayyy [❤ 5'3 | CW: 134.4 | GW: 117 | 23F ❤]
Created: Wed Oct 25 16:30:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78rauj/anyone_else_feel_like_they_are_living_a_lie/
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I just feel like I have to hide everything about food from everyone around me. This eating disorder has encompassed every part of me and yet I don't feel like I can share it with anyone ... well except all of you lovely people ❤️
I guess I've just been feeling really isolated from my friends and family because I do nothing but think about food...
Just had to put that out there I guess.
[Discussion] How much does your license say you weigh?
/u/fuckingusernamee [4'11 | 115| 23.2| F]
Created: Wed Oct 25 15:44:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78r0ga/how_much_does_your_license_say_you_weigh/
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My license says I weigh 101 lbs, but since then I've been up to 135 and now back down to 110 and I think that's pretty neat. Id love to be back down to 100 pounds again. What does your license say you weigh, and what has changed since? Does anyone else look at stuff like this?
[Rant/Rave] Triggered by oblivious dad
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 25 15:14:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78qti8/triggered_by_oblivious_dad/
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I recently posted a picture on Facebook of me and my mom and aunt. They’re a few inches shorter than me, and my aunt is rail thin (mom is average but still shorter). My dad commented “I guess we know who the big girl is in the family now 😎” which first of all I don’t even know what that means, but also, I know I’m not “big.” I guess he just meant I’m taller than them??? Gahhhhhh and I ate sooo much food on vacation and now I want to die
[Discussion] Silly ED thing you did today?
/u/acidicdecay [Height 5'6.5"|CW 122|UGW 109 | Lady]
Created: Wed Oct 25 14:34:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78qjs6/silly_ed_thing_you_did_today/
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I threw away an almost full bottle of diet cherry Pepsi because it didn't taste diet-y enough.
[Discussion] Anyone heard of Golden Spoon?
/u/carbslut
Created: Wed Oct 25 14:30:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78qijc/anyone_heard_of_golden_spoon/
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It’s a frozen yogurt place. I’m not so obsessed with since Halo Top was invented, but it is about 400-500 calories per pint. The no sugar flavors are more like 300. They also have fat free sugar free fudge thats ahmazing, but they never put nutrition info for it so it was a bit of a gamble.
I used to crack up when I went there because their portions are huge, so most people would order smalls and mediums and there would always be me and some super skinny chick ordering by the quart.
I think I cried when they discontinued the cherry flavor. It didn’t even taste like cherry at all. It was just delicious.
[Rant/Rave] Bought myself a FitBit!
/u/StuDented [1.64m|CW: ?|GW: 55kg|UGW: 50kg|BMI: ?|Gender: F]
Created: Wed Oct 25 14:29:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78qid3/bought_myself_a_fitbit/
---
And I love it!!
I've been bulimic/BED since about November 2015 (was more weight *loss* oriented before then). I totally lost control, couldn't stop eating, couldn't stop purging, but in end couldn't stop gaining.
I started university and wanted it to go perfectly - including a perfect body. The pain of watching both of those go up in flames is still with me, in scars of shapes and sizes, mental and physical.
I've been trying to be "good" again ever since, but only now have myself together enough to start dieting again. And I thought I'd buy a FitBit to help...
And it is. It feels such a relief to feel I have calories under some kind of control again. I want to be slim again, I want some aspect of that old, nearly (but never actually) perfect version of me. I had such potential. I want that life back.
Wish me luck. I'll be around.
[Other] Viter Energy mints
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Wed Oct 25 14:25:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78qhbn/viter_energy_mints/
---
Saw these on Amazon deals and ordered them, definitely a helpful way to keep the hunger away... now if only they canceled out the shit I already ate :(
They do have a weird aftertaste tho... minty but also distinctly chemical
[Discussion] DAE track food you didn't eat?
/u/rebootfalcon [5'9" | CW: 153 lb | GW: 131 lb | F]
Created: Wed Oct 25 14:23:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78qgye/dae_track_food_you_didnt_eat/
---
(on mobile, flag as discussion)
I'm really forgetful about details, so sometimes I'll track food in MFP that I thought about eating but didn't. That way if I stick to my limit of 900 kcal, I'm still a bit under that. At a glance, it'll trick me most of the time. Does anyone else do this or something similar?
[Discussion] Weight without clothes?
/u/kittybunny75
Created: Wed Oct 25 13:41:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78q6hd/weight_without_clothes/
---
I weighed myself and I weighed 104.2 which is weird because that's kind of high for me and I didn't have time to strip and weigh myself because it wasn't my house lol anyway I was wearing skinny jeans long sleeve shirt hoodie and vans how much difference do u think it would make???
[Discussion] I can't stop crying
/u/enigmatichoices [5'7F | 172 | -41 | gw: invisible]
Created: Wed Oct 25 13:20:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78q163/i_cant_stop_crying/
---
I'm currently sitting in my car scared to go into my house because I'm a complete mess and I don't want anyone else to be inside. I don't even know why I'm crying anymore. I'm just so lost and lonely and I can't talk to anyone about anything personal it's so hard for me to open up and then I just explode into sadness. Today wasn't even a bad day I just feel like I'm living a lie, an act where I use smiles and humor to deflect anything real because reality freaks me the fuck out.
Does this ever happen to anyone else? Do you just start crying about nothing really or even everything all at once just lets out?
[Help] I'm super picky, what's left for me to eat?
/u/water_77 [🍀🌺🍀]
Created: Wed Oct 25 13:19:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78q0uu/im_super_picky_whats_left_for_me_to_eat/
---
Hey so I'm really picky when it comes to food. I won't eat bread/grains, dairy, sugar, fried foods, or stuff that's super artificial like aspartame.
This doesn't really leave a lot of variety for me. What's something delicious and low-effort? Maybe even something you can buy at a store already made? Or should I just stick to drinking tea all the time...
[Discussion] Today I was asked for diet advise...
/u/littlejanedoe- [5'1" |CW:124lbs | GW:115lbs | F]
Created: Wed Oct 25 12:43:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78prlm/today_i_was_asked_for_diet_advise/
---
So my mom has ALWAYS been on some sort of diet, detox or whatever.. I cant remember a time in my life where she wasn't. Anyways she's got an event coming up and called me for diet advise. Now I cant obviously tell her about my ED or purging so I give her the normal up your water, quit drinking, blah blah blah. Only I told her about fasting because its not so taboo anymore and she was all for it. It felt so good. Now I can see her not only in my eating windows and hope she doesn't suggest getting a bite to eat or something. I can tell her I am fasting and she wont judge me! A part of me felt so bad because she looks at my toxic lifestyle with envy because.. she doesn't know. She doesn't know I obsess over food, my teeth hurt, I purge until my back hurts. To the outside world I just look like I have a lot of self control over my diet and exercise. IDN it's kinda a win and kinda sad all at the same time.
Has anyone else been asked for diet advise while deep into your ED? How did you handle it?
[Rant/Rave] Back here again... ugh
/u/ThinnerBirb [5'7 | CW:123lb | GW:100lb | HW:130lb | 19.3 BMI | 19F]
Created: Wed Oct 25 12:38:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78pq8e/back_here_again_ugh/
---
Well, I've never been active on this specific subreddit, but back in 2012ish I was extremely active on a lot of proed places.. I "recovered" in early 2015, and things were okay for a couple of years. Then I started working at a full time extremely stressful job, and with it came the fact that as I spend most of my day on the road, it was extremely easy to skip lunch.
Suddenly, the ed that had for two years lurked quietly had an opening, and in the 5 months since I started that job I've lost weight and returned to my previous restrictive behaviours.
Funnily enough, my partner has just decided that he wants to lose weight and that we should start eating better, and he's happily accepting me using MFP to log everything we eat - and as ours are both set to lose weight and he's heavier than me, I get a lower calorie allowance - so he's not even bothered by the fact that I'm eating so much less than he is.
I'm so angry at myself for falling back into this but at the same time I can't wait till I'm back at my old LW and on my way to my GW.. it's not a fun place to be.
[Help] Fellow adults, how do you deal with visiting parents?
/u/Adassai_nova [Age: 25 | BMI: 21.9 | Gender: M | Dx: BN]
Created: Wed Oct 25 12:27:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78pnfn/fellow_adults_how_do_you_deal_with_visiting/
---
So I know that younger people have obvious motivations to hide disordered eating, but I was diagnosed until years after I'd moved out of the house. I've mentioned to my father that I had some "eating problems" but never went into specifics or the severity of it.
Now my dad is flying across the country to spend two days with me, and I am happy to see him but I'm also freaking out because he's going to want to take my husband and me out to a bunch of nice restaurants.
I don't want to go out to restaurants for all of the obvious reasons but also because I'm terrified it's going to just turn into massive binging. Anytime I slow myself a meal outside of my safe foods, I binge. But I also don't want to act so blatantly disordered, either.
So what do you fellow adults do? Do you just say "fuck it" and eat however you normally so because your parents don't have control over your life anymore? Or do you try to appear normal for their sake?
Any advice greatly appreciated. Also, if it's relevant, my father knows I've been vegan for many years, but I also live in a super hippie towns so there are literally dozens of vegan or vegan-friendly restaurants (we literally have an entire store that sells nothing but gourmet vegan cinnamon rolls; it's torture), so I can't use dietary restrictions as an excuse
[Rant/Rave] motivation from a grave mistake
/u/frikey [5'5.25" | 104 | 17.51 | -23]
Created: Wed Oct 25 12:00:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78pgmn/motivation_from_a_grave_mistake/
---
On Saturday, as a result of very hard-to-explain happenings, I tried a particularly extreme stimulant drug I promised myself I'd never do for the first time. I did it until Sunday evening, and for that whole time, my mind was occupied and my appetite was nonexistent. I loved how it motivated all the things I struggle with (like being productive and refraining from eating when I don't have to and just not being blank all the time.). I knew, however, I would have to repeat the most hellish comedown but worse if I did it again without anything in my stomach, and that nothing else could really keep me from craving it. So, since Saturday night, I have been fasting. It's going on 82+ hours now.
I hate that this is mostly an effort to resist my addictive tendencies, but this is the longest fast I've ever had and the motivation to keep going has killed any craving I've had for it. I just hope that once I end this, I won't be tempted to get more, so until I feel like I'm gonna die I'm just gonna keep going because it's actually been surprisingly easy. Substance addiction is such a bitch
[Other] The ad placement on fasting tracker
/u/Briismars46 [5"6 | CW:123 | 19.85 |GW:109 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 25 10:35:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78ov2e/the_ad_placement_on_fasting_tracker/
---
https://i.imgur.com/kwlIrb9.jpg
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] I'm getting worse again, and it's really starting to make me miserable.
/u/ImACrybabyCancer
Created: Wed Oct 25 10:28:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78ota2/rant_im_getting_worse_again_and_its_really/
---
So it's been a while since my ED has been very prevalent in my life and consumed a lot of my time, but here lately after hitting my initial goal weight of 200 pounds by forcing myself to get more social and active; I have realized I need to drop at least 20 or 30 more pounds before I think I'll look remotely good. (I'm almost six foot one and have a big build.) While that's in the works, I'm disgusted by my body. I know I should be proud because I dropped 70 pounds in like a year. As a horrid binge eater from a young age, I understand that's a fair amount of progress I made.
The other thing is, I don't so much just hate my body because of the way it looks itself. I hate it because I can never be cute and dainty... So I feel like I'm maybe just compensating for trying to be as small as possible. I don't really even try to stress about my calories anymore, I take Vyvanse for adhd and mood lifter so I usually eat pretty light; and I know it's okay to have some re feeding days every once in a while. I know eventually the weight will keep dropping, and soon I'll probably try to get on a more scheduled exercise routine.
Here's the kicker though, I know where this spawned from honestly. I've been with this guy for almost 5 months now. I was probably about 20 pounds heavier when we first got together, keep in mind he exclusively dated small and thin girls as long as I've known him. I had no idea he was into me at first(for that reason alone), he's a really great guy, and he makes me happy. But when he comments on celebrities or pictures of skinny women he sees to me; God it makes me hate myself. I'm pretty gay so I'll even comment on women to him sometimes, only difference is I usually articulate it with just "She's hot, or she's pretty." But he describes it in the only way a male brain could, "I'd fuck her so hard, ect." Now does this bother me that he thinks the girls attractive, no; cause they usually are pretty attractive women if he bothers to say anything. I know I've mentioned in the past my insecurities and my ED behavior to him, and I know he's not doing it to intentionally cause any hurt to me. All of that is myself just projecting jealousy. I know he finds me attractive, we have a very active sex life; and he's even mentioned that he doesn't think I should lose anymore weight because I'm at a healthy weight and I look good when I mention it.
I'm just at a loss because I don't feel I need to talk to him about it and bother him with something that's petty like this. But like I almost cried when he commented on Fiona Gallagher's body from shameless while we were watching tv last night. He said something about her body being perfect, I wasn't really paying much attention to him because I was too busy staring at her perfect thigh gap... Then here comes the self hatred train at full speed. I laid there and stifled my sniffles until I passed out.
I think I just need to ignore it honestly, because he did end up splitting with his last girlfriend(who is like five foot one and I bet doesn't even weigh 120...) to get with me after we started hanging out more, so yeah. I just really needed to get this off my chest because it's been making my day difficult, also PMS amplifies everything to be worse so could be that as well.
TL;DR I'm a little bitch. Lmao
[Rant/Rave] Weak
/u/fluentsyntax
Created: Wed Oct 25 10:17:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78oqk5/weak/
---
I haven’t had a real meal in weeks. Just fasting or grazing. I’m hungover and craving something really unhealthy, but I know I’ll purge. Send help. It’s only 9 in the fucking morning.
I really want a sandwich of some sort. I almost passed out at Powell’s yesterday because I walked for an hour to get there. Aghhhhh. Just needed to voice my frustration. Plus the guy I adore seems to be emotional unavailable even though he fucked me last week. Jesus.
[Help] "Overnight" Laxatives - Help!
/u/queenofflavortown [5'0"|CW 159lbs|HW 175|GW 120|F]
Created: Wed Oct 25 10:02:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78omwb/overnight_laxatives_help/
---
Okay so basically I'm an idiot that binged on everything last night, and I woke up this morning so nauseated and in pain that I threw up and called out of work (which never happens.) I went and got laxatives to try to expel whatever is gurgling inside me, but I didn't realize til after I took them that they're "overnight" laxatives. WHAT. I even tried throwing them up in a state of panic, but that didn't work either (why couldn't I have tried throwing up after my binge? That would save me a lot of strife here.)
Do y'all have experience with these "overnight" laxatives? How long do they take to work? I'm desperately hoping they work today so I'm not shitting my brains out all night/at work tomorrow. Ugh, why am I so stupid?????
[Other] A real eye opener
/u/pnurplert
Created: Wed Oct 25 09:58:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78olv5/a_real_eye_opener/
---
https://i.redd.it/0hagv2xx00uz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] LW rant
/u/tattoosandcoffeee [5'3.75 | GW 108 | -15]
Created: Wed Oct 25 09:38:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78oh3m/lw_rant/
---
After months ill finally hit my LW that I havnt been in 2 years. Ive been fasting T,W,T every week and steady losing 2-3lbs a week. I feel so relieved, but also scared that at any moment I will fuck it up. I have strict goals/time frames to get to in the next few months and I CANNOT slip up. Thank you all so much for being here and allowing me to hold myself accountable. I will be officially down 20lbs this friday <3
[Discussion] Is anyone trying to eat a FODMAP diet?
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 102.9 | 18.8 | -34 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 25 09:29:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78oezs/is_anyone_trying_to_eat_a_fodmap_diet/
---
And how has their experience been with that?
[Rant/Rave] Weekends kill me
/u/Fatalope [5'4| CW 150 | GW 104 |HW 168 | 19 F]
Created: Wed Oct 25 08:42:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78o3r5/weekends_kill_me/
---
Weekends are the only time I see my fiancee and because of that I try to eat normally (read: binge) so he doesn't see anything wrong with me. During the week i restrict trying to stay below 1000 kCal, but weekends all that goes out the window and my weekly defect is destroyed. :( I just hate it so much, i love weekends and the relaxation they bring but sometimes wish they didnt exist.
[Other] Tried the No Cow bar based on a rec from someone here..
/u/damnitimtoast [5'2"| CW 114.5lbs | BMI 21.03 | -22 lbs | GW 110 lbs | 23F]
Created: Wed Oct 25 07:09:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78nk4h/tried_the_no_cow_bar_based_on_a_rec_from_someone/
---
It was awful. It was the Raspberry truffle flavor and it tasted like straight gasoline. I'm pissed I wasted the cals eating half of that lol will definitely stick to Quest bars from now on
[Other] Fasting
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 100 | 16.84| GW 94 | F 22]
Created: Wed Oct 25 07:08:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78njyt/fasting/
---
So I've recently started getting into fasting. I've never been much of a faster, especially before I relapsed again. When I semi recovered, I didn't count calories or ever skip breakfast (I'm a breakfast whore) regardless of the quantity or time i had eaten last the night before. Now in my second time around and coming off a binge cycle, I want to try my hand at fasting. So far I've kinda sucked but I've been using that app and it's really motivating. Fuck you breakfast lol. But what counts as breaking that fast? Is it up to you individually? Like did I break it by chewing a piece of gum and having something to drink? Coffee? Gum doesn't count as food right? Overall I want to abstain from calories during my fast, but mostly just food in general for the duration. What counts as breaking your fasts?
[Discussion] I'm the fat ED person.
/u/IHateBloodElves [5'3" | 136 | 25 | -38 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 25 06:47:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78nfr8/im_the_fat_ed_person/
---
Hello everyone.
Yes, my nightmare has become true. I'm sick since years now ... and I'm fat. No need to say more, my BMI is overweight and the fat between those thighs don't lie. I'm the fat pro ED person.
I've been struggling with anorexia first, at the age of 13 thanks to Internet and those various ways of blowing your mind with ideas of perfection (pro ana sites, porn sites, tumblr, skinny whealthy friends on FB ...) and then, bulimia. Then switching with both. Then hyperphagia. Then anorexia again. And the loop never ends. I'm 20 now.
I can't say this is happening to everyone. I'm against fat acceptance bullshit, plus promoting obesity or anorexia is completely dumb. I'm just saying that I'm sick, I'm fat and sometimes I'm not. I'm struggling with anorexia and bulimia and nowadays, times are really hard.
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 25, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Oct 25 06:11:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78n959/daily_food_diary_october_25_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 25, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday October 25, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Oct 25 06:11:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78n90b/way_to_go_wednesday_october_25_2017/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for October 25, 2017.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Discussion] Is anyone else liquid fasting today?
/u/ribcage666 [5'8.5" | bmi 21.2 | -62 lbs | F 🌿]
Created: Wed Oct 25 05:53:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78n611/is_anyone_else_liquid_fasting_today/
---
I've been bingeing so terribly and I'm up almost 4 lbs. I'm supposed to get my period this week but still, I'm sure at least some of that is real weight...I really need to get this under control so I'm going to do a liquid fast today. I'm going to have coffee, tea, water and if necessary, as much vegetable broth as I want (each broth cube has 40 cal, I make each serving with 1/2 the cube).
I woke up with a killer chest cold so I can easily use lack of appetite as an excuse. I just need to remember that bingeing is a choice - the food will always be there for me when I want or need it, and I can eat it sensibly at a later date or even binge at a later date if I need to, but I WILL NOT BINGE TODAY!
Anyone else? 💕 💕
[Rant/Rave] binge! :(
/u/daisyhands
Created: Wed Oct 25 05:51:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78n5rh/binge/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Just....sad
/u/ohwellolivia
Created: Wed Oct 25 05:45:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78n4t5/justsad/
---
I’m on hour 83 of my fast, feeling kinda crappy but I’m okay. I was planning on breaking it next week when my husband and I go to California for our anniversary. I was so excited, because vacations are the only time I let myself eat normally and don’t/try not to think about it. I’ve also got this crazy travel bug and want to see the world before I have kids.
Husband texts me yesterday saying he has to take a bunch of prerequisites (he’s going back to school for his masters) and we have to cancel the trip and use our vacation money to pay for school. I’m so upset. Trying to be positive about it but it’s so so hard.
Now, I feel like I have nothing to break this fast for. I feel like I’m going to keep at it until I shrivel away. I thought that’s what I wanted but I’m actually so bummed about it.
He tried to make me feel better by saying we’ll take small day trips on weekends but it’s not the traveling I crave, and it’s certainly not the food experience I hoped for. I really feel like I have nothing to go on.
On a positive note, I had a whoosh! My scale says I went down from 114 to 110 overnight, but it’s stuck on 3 lbs, so it’s really about 111 to 107! Lowest weight since high school! Now I just have to not fuck it up....
[Rant/Rave] Today is my final fitting for my wedding dress.
/u/Wisdomtoothinquiry
Created: Wed Oct 25 05:11:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78mzew/today_is_my_final_fitting_for_my_wedding_dress/
---
And I'm completely freaking out. I've lost about eight to ten pounds since I went in for the first fitting last month and I know the seamstress is going to be annoyed. I don't know why but I chose a mermaid style strapless dress so it has to fit like a glove.
My wedding is one month from today and I'm hoping to lose eight pounds before then. I don't know how that will affect the fit of the dress but I don't feel like I have any other choice. I don't want to look at my wedding photos and fixate on how fat my face looks.
[Help] TMI: Anyone else here seem to be chronically sick?
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 102.9 | 18.8 | -34 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 25 05:08:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78myug/tmi_anyone_else_here_seem_to_be_chronically_sick/
---
For the past month I have been absolutely suffering. It started with what I think was a caffeine overdose, where I passed out and was very nauseous/had diarrhea. Then, for about two weeks, I had terrible gas. I was so bloated it hurt and it smelt terrible. THEN when that seemed to fix itself, I thought I got food poisoning because I had really bad diarrhea again and now my lower torso is constantly hurting and although I'm not getting diarrhea I'm still having to go really suddenly and my whole abdomen will be hurting so badly beforehand I can't move.
Has anyone ever experienced something like this?? I'm taking probiotics, anti gas, anti acids, digestive enzymes, omeprazole.. dude I don't know what else to do :(
[Rant/Rave] My birthday is tomorrow, but I don't want it.
/u/princesss-dae
Created: Wed Oct 25 05:00:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78mxj6/my_birthday_is_tomorrow_but_i_dont_want_it/
---
Don't get me wrong, I'm excited, but I don't remember the last time I felt this shitty about myself. I'm chained to my scale, and a toilet..... I keep saying, "It's your damn birthday, enjoy it." But honestly, I can't. I know this is all so stupid, but I just needed to rant for a second.
[Rant/Rave] regular at my cafe made my day
/u/ladytulips [5'7'' | 124lbs | 19.4 | -28lbs | 19F]
Created: Wed Oct 25 04:45:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78mvam/regular_at_my_cafe_made_my_day/
---
so, i'm a waitress at a small cafe with a lot of regulars. there is one particular man who comes every morning, and he is always very chatty and pleasant. today we started talking about his weight loss journey, he used to be overweight and has lost over a 100 lbs. he is telling me about how he used to look, and glances at me, proclaiming 'i was never naturally skinny like you, so i've had to really work my ass off.' i laugh, we talk some more and i'm feeling so elated! the rest of the shift was just me strolling around all giddy. a 'stranger' has never told me that before, and it felt so fucking good.
have you guys had any unexpected compliments given to you that made you really happy/motivated? i love hearing about nice people :)
[Discussion] Bisexuality + self comparison to other women
/u/InterchangeableMoon
Created: Wed Oct 25 04:12:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78mqk2/bisexuality_self_comparison_to_other_women/
---
Idk if there are any other bi/lesbian/queer/etc. People with food issues here, but I'm having such a hard time reconciling my attraction to women and comparing my body to theirs in a way that makes me always feel like shit and sometimes can trigger me.
Even when I'm thinking about women in a romantic context, I keep thinking about what her body looks like compared to mine and it's like I can't even begin to form a relationship or bond with her because I'm so envious and self loathing.
[Rant/Rave] 50 day
/u/hashslinginghasher1
Created: Wed Oct 25 01:54:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78m8mu/50_day/
---
I come home from travel school in 50 days and i promised myself that when i was away i would lose weight and come home skinny yet here i am binging so much and it literally makes me feel like i have no worth. i can't fucking do one thing right. i don't fucking know what to do. if i want to get down 15 lbs by the time i'm home i have to eat 800 cals and not binge but knowing me i'll restrict, binge, get upset, repeat and nothing will come of it. i can't do anything right. fml
[Discussion] Supplements?
/u/PixTheFairy [5"0 | CW 123.6 | BMI 23.6 | HW 150lbs | UGW 90lbs]
Created: Wed Oct 25 01:44:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78m7d0/supplements/
---
I take a multivitamin every day when I'm restricting but I'm wondering what's missing from that.
I'm in the UK.
Can anyone recommend some good supplements I should buy to help alleviate any symptoms of my extreme restriction? I don't want to be unhealthy. I just can't help it at the moment.
[Discussion] Any other chronic relapsers out there?
/u/namelessgia
Created: Wed Oct 25 00:15:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78luyh/any_other_chronic_relapsers_out_there/
---
This is kind of a pointless post, but I don’t know where else I would talk about this.
I feel like I’m never restricting for extended periods at a time anymore? I relapse for two months and lose 10kg or so, have one big binge which triggers me to eat “normally” again aka glorified binge for a month while hating myself and gain all of the weight back, then have The Epiphany TM and do it all over again. I’m not talking like “oh I’ve relapsed 4 or 5 times” I’m talking 4 or 5 times a year if not more. I guess you could call it ednos (I’m diagnosed under atypical anorexia) but it feels different...
I guess I just wonder does anybody else feel like this?
[Help] Not sure if it's time to stop
/u/Makrii817
Created: Wed Oct 25 00:04:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78lt9x/not_sure_if_its_time_to_stop/
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I've been counting calories since I was in 7th grade. I'm 24 now and married and almost finished with school and I'm so lost. I never thought when I was 13 that I'd still be doing this 10 years later. I thought it would end when I reached my goal weight. Back then I was 93 lbs. 93 lbs. Granted, I'm a little taller now but not that much. I went all the way up to 115 then back down and then back up. I'm 103 lbs and 5'5" (BMI=17.1) and I'm still terrified of gaining a lb.
Every bite of food feels like cement in my mouth and in my stomach. I hate the feeling of food in my mouth and in my body. Every time I look in the mirror I see another flab that I need to fix.
My husband, my friends, my family, I hide it from them all. They love me so much but I'm barely hanging on to my life. They think I'm almost ready to recover. But I can't recover. What if I get fat? What if the weight never comes off again? I almost like my body now, how can I quit when I'm so close?
I eat vitamins and drink water and and ensure so I get the nutrients I need. I get about 500 calories a day, is it so bad if I maintain like this forever? I can survive like this, I'm good at this. I'm not too tired or broken, I really think that maybe that's all I need.
But then I think of starting a family with my husband. I think about having his kids and raising a family with him. He'd be such an amazing father. He's so kind and patient and loving. The way he tries to take care of me, how gentle he is and how thoughtful. He deserves so much better than broken me. He deserves a wife who can get pregnant and have a healthy baby. Who won't freak out when her belly bulges out and she gains 40 lbs.
He says he married me for me, that he didn't marry me for the kids. That we can adopt, that I can get better. But I see him with his nieces, how much he loves them. How excited he is to start a family. I want that with him too.
But I'm still so scared. What if I can't lose the weight after pregnancy? I will have to start all over. I feel so selfish but I need this so badly.
[Intro] I'm glad to be back, it's been a hell of a ride
/u/crc10320 [5'1'' | 127 | - 53 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 24 23:56:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78ls51/im_glad_to_be_back_its_been_a_hell_of_a_ride/
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So about a year and a half ago I lost about 50lbs, it felt incredible. It was all I wanted, being cold, large sweaters, people calling me tiny, fasting all the time. It was the dream. My alcoholism was getting terrible, I was wasting away so I had to quit my job and went to rehab. I moved into a halfway house after for a few months, then took a job on a cruise ship. Then moved to a new city for a job, quit that job and found a new one I liked. Now I'm alone in a new-ish city and fat. It took a year and a half, and I'm fucking fat. So much has happened in 1.5 I can't even believe to explain but here I am. Last week I started restricting again, and it feels so good (besides the constant hunger ugh) but I feel like myself again. I missed the obsessive counting, and documenting. Drinking tea, water and coffee constantly. This is it for me, Here's to a second try, and my last try.
Anyone else document excerise/calories/weight? I even use an excel sheet with a graph lol
I love this community, yall keep me strong <3
[Other] ...and I'm gonna need your help
/u/onlysaysNOO [5'3 | CW ??| BMI 15.?|F]
Created: Tue Oct 24 23:55:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78lry6/and_im_gonna_need_your_help/
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So darlings, as a lot of you know, I'm headed down recovery road! I'm excited to not feel like shit all the time, and to stop hating myself for every little thing I do.
And I'm gonna document how I do it in this thread. Maybe some people will find it helpful. Or something I don't know. So there's gonna be lots of talk about food, about gaining a bit of weight, and I dunno. About stuff that I go through as I try to fix all the damage I've done.
I'm not gonna go back to my highest weight unless I'm more muscular. I was a chunkster and I wasn't even big I was just so so little muscle tone.
So my goal
I'm at about 82 lbs, 5'3", bmi of something like 14.98.
I've always been small but this is nuts. I can't lay down at all without hurting some bone or bruising myself. It's gross. It's like I suddenly got slapped out of dysmorphia. Not totally. But a bit.
I aim to be about 95 lbs. Not super drastic, but healthier. Normal for me. Better than this.
So today I had my first breakfast in years. I had waffles with my favourite low fat peanut butter. I refused to count the calories in MFP even though the numbers are pounding into my head. I'm shoving those aside and ignoring them.
Lunch was some fries from the caf. That way I can't be certain of the number.
Dinner was some leftover annies mac n cheese, which I refused to measure out but was about a cup and a half because you can just tell anyways.
Two more waffles to get those numbers up and to satisfy the carb craving and also because I need groceries SO BAD.
I feel a bit bloated and sore, but it's gonna take time. I have a couple friends who are really helpful and encouraging, but it's mostly me on my own.
Meds have been taken and it's almost time for sleep my loves, my brave, strong wonderful darlings.
I hope this is allowed and helpful
[Rant/Rave] Perhaps my lowest ed moment
/u/smallgrl
Created: Tue Oct 24 23:29:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78lo7l/perhaps_my_lowest_ed_moment/
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[removed]
Perhaps my lowest ed moment: hunched Gollum-style in the bathroom at work c/s a cookie into the toilet. ~just ana things~
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 24 23:27:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78lnvf/perhaps_my_lowest_ed_moment_hunched_gollumstyle/
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[deleted]
[Goal] 10-15ish lbs until I’m normal weight/BMI
/u/coffeebean27
Created: Tue Oct 24 23:26:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78lnr6/1015ish_lbs_until_im_normal_weightbmi/
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Right now I think I’m around 150ish, maybe more/less. I don’t have a scale so I usually just go by jean size (27, hopefully 26 by the end of this month). And according to the BMI chart I’m 10 lbs away from being “normal”.
Even though I have a food “problems” (purge and exercise)... I don’t think I’m overweight, but I know I’m definitely not thin. I wonder if the BMI chart is right for me since I swim and workout so I would think I have some muscle, which isn’t muscle supposed to be heavier than fat?
Either way I hope that by spring I’ll at least be 135 (with a flat stomach) or 130 (with a toned/six pack outline). I’ll be able to wear a two piece and have a good tan for summer.
[Discussion] possibly dumb question: is it possible for the scale to be inaccurate in that it's too low?
/u/emotionalthr0w [5'9 23F. SW:182 CW:134 BMI 19.43]
Created: Tue Oct 24 22:58:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78ljce/possibly_dumb_question_is_it_possible_for_the/
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i'm obsessed with my scale. i weigh myself a few times at different places in my room to be sure the measurement is correct, especially if i'm happy with the result. i'm really anal about not wearing anything/ not having eaten yet when i weigh myself so i don't get a reading that's inaccurately high.
i'm wondering if there are any factors that you guys know of that cause the reading to be inaccurately low, though? besides a broken scale, that is. i was thinking dehydration maybe?
[Discussion] Does anyone else feel like they do this because they're weak?
/u/ImMissBrightside
Created: Tue Oct 24 22:34:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78lfil/does_anyone_else_feel_like_they_do_this_because/
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I'm not able to make it the hard way. I don't have the willpower to stick it through. I feel like I'm...cheating whenever I throw up or starve myself, but I don't want to stop either, since I know ill undo everything I did. I'm not really frustrated or sad about it, but I sometimes I just wish I could be better
Not sure if it's time to stop
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 24 22:13:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78lc41/not_sure_if_its_time_to_stop/
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[deleted]
[Help] I don’t feel underweight and it’s like Im being lied to
/u/lavenderbruises [5'9"|CW 112| GW 105| BMI 16.3| 19F]
Created: Tue Oct 24 22:10:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78lbln/i_dont_feel_underweight_and_its_like_im_being/
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The scale says I weigh 112 and that I am 5’9. The BMI calculator gives me 16.3 and warns me that I’m underweight. People online say that being this weight will cause health problems and that its basically the end of the world.
But I feel...fine? I look in the mirror and all I see is my fat. At best, I look average. Maybe my body structure is something to do with this? Because nobody calls me skinny or anything. My hair isnt falling out, I still get periods, I never feel faint despite eating 600 cals a day. In fact, 600 is pretty damn filling and I can easily eat 400 a day if I so choose.
But according to medical websites I should be on the brink of death or something. I can’t help but think that the whole BMI/underweight thing is highly subjective and that some people are healthier at a certain BMI than others.
Or am I just deluded?
[Rant/Rave] losing weight is painfully slow
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 24 21:27:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78l3x2/losing_weight_is_painfully_slow/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I'm a terrible, worthless person
/u/gayishfish [5'7" | CW: embarrassing | BMI: high | -9 lbs | 23F]
Created: Tue Oct 24 20:30:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78kspf/im_a_terrible_worthless_person/
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I recently got back in touch with a girl I used to be really close to. She told me she is anorexic now, which is not a surprise to me. She has had an ED for as long as I've known her but now she accepts it for what it is I suppose. Even though we "got back in touch", I can tell she really wants nothing to do with me. Like she pity-replies but sometimes she doesn't reply at all. Sometimes I sit and wait and wait and wait for a reply from her because I am the most pathetic person in the world.
The worst part is, ever since she told me she is anorexic, it has been the fuel to push me to lose as much weight as possible. I'm so fucking lame, I want her to think I'm skinny. If I'm skinny, maybe she will want to talk to me more. Idk why I want her to talk to me so bad... I just do. It's like I'm using her to fuel my own ED and that is so terrible and wrong. The logical part of my brain believes I should just leave her alone, but the STUPID part of me is fixating.
It's so much more motivating to have a real life thinspo, let me tell you.... But it's also like ten million times more painful (not true, obv, but I'm feeling dramatic).
Sorry for the rant.. I just feel so alone...
[Rant/Rave] My Brain Just Made Fat Even Grosser
/u/calmlyranting [5'5 | Fluctuating | F]
Created: Tue Oct 24 19:50:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78kkrx/my_brain_just_made_fat_even_grosser/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] typical rant :))
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 24 19:35:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78khq8/typical_rant/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Got to the lowest weight that I've been at for a long time. Cue 2700 calorie surplus.
/u/Elope
Created: Tue Oct 24 19:19:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78keic/got_to_the_lowest_weight_that_ive_been_at_for_a/
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Breaks my fucking heart that I am the way that I am. I don't know what else to say. I'm not even panicking, or particularly upset. This is just all so routine now.
I just sit and calculate how long it will take to fix. I'll just get to the day where I can finally start living my life a few days later, right?
I hate myself so much that it's not even a fire anymore. Just this cold disappointment.
[Discussion] Need some advice from the only people who will get it.
/u/heartemoji
Created: Tue Oct 24 19:06:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78kc07/need_some_advice_from_the_only_people_who_will/
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So I work in an office with mostly men, but this year a new female has started. We get along well, but she is obsessed with food.
I kind of think she doesn't have an ED because of how open she is - she's always talking about needing to lose weight (she's average size, not fat or skinny), being on a diet, wondering how many calories are in things. Whereas I squirrel away and quietly decline food offers, don't like to talk about being on a 'diet'.
I like hanging out with her because I don't hang out with my friends much as it's always food and drink related - she is happy to go to an exercise class or a low cal lunch somewhere. But as much as I want a new friend I'm worried she's not the best person for me to hang around due to her CONSTANTLY talking about her weight and dieting (plus I'm fatter than she is lol).
Part of me feels like maybe when I'm thinner than her it will be easier to spend time with her? I know I do it to people too but her saying she's fat makes me think that she thinks I'm hell fat.
Also bonus story - we went shopping and we both happen to be the same size. She said like 3 times 'i can't believe we are the same size?!' I of course took this as she can't believe it because I'm so much fatter than her. My bf says it's probably because she is a lot taller than me. But I'll still need a few years to get over it 😂
Not really sure what I'm asking for here but appreciate any thoughts on the matter!
[Rant/Rave] Aggressively being hit on by someone who could ruin my career?
/u/sp0ngeb0bcirclepants
Created: Tue Oct 24 17:44:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78juld/aggressively_being_hit_on_by_someone_who_could/
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Just a rant (on mobile, please flag)? Want to put it in my career's sub but worried he'll find it. He ain't even in my exact same career. Ugh. Regardless.
So this guy is cute, friendly, smart, used to be fat, and could probably help get me hired where I want. It's a competitive field.
He is now aggressively hitting on me, complimenting me, asking for pics ( like A LOT, AGGRESIVELY, CERTAIN POSES!?!?!?) And like 1, I hate my body but moreover, 2, I have a boyfriend and he knows this. He knows I'm in this part of the country because of my boyfriend??? And we exchanged numbers because he has a little kid and I babysit. Totally innocent. Now I honestly want to be rude and tell him off... but he could make it so I don't get hired.
I just need to rant. He also told me I am gorgeous and to keep doing what I'm doing. Like sticking my fingers down my throat and still being fat? Cool thanks
EDIT: I'm honestly probably just being dramatic but I'm so uncomfortable
[Discussion] Anyone have an ED snapchat
/u/dying222
Created: Tue Oct 24 17:34:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78jsdo/anyone_have_an_ed_snapchat/
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Mine is msocal96 add me for aaaalll the binge haul pics lmao 😇💝
[Rant/Rave] How many days for you to even out after indulging?
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW: 141.4 | UGW 105 | 24/F]
Created: Tue Oct 24 17:19:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78jp46/how_many_days_for_you_to_even_out_after_indulging/
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I was 141.4 on Saturday. The scale this morning said 148.0. I'm to the point in my ED after many years where I'm peeved by the number but can rationalize that it's not pure fat.
On Sunday, I ate chinese takeout. Easily my TDEE or barely over. However, it's very high in sodium. That meant I was 145 the next day. Yesterday I ate TDEE as well, but also sodium heavy since it's wasn't homemade. I feel like garbage, but have been downing water like it's nobody's business.
I wouldn't consider it a binge; just poor choices. But damn it it's driving me crazy trying to figure out how long before I level out again. I'm fasting because it's just too hot to eat anything and nothing sounds good after the past two days anyway.
How long before you guys go back to your pre-weight? A week? A few days?
[Discussion] LiveJournal
/u/Ladybeeortoise [5'6" | 109 |17.5 | GW: 105 | 34]
Created: Tue Oct 24 17:02:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78jldw/livejournal/
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About 10 years ago I was a member of LiveJournal’s pro Ana community. Was anyone else? I’m trying to see if I can still remember my username... The community was very similar to this one ❤️. It would be kind of cool if some of us have communicated years before ☺️
[Rant/Rave] my face is so FUCKING BLOATED
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 24 16:52:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78jj2d/my_face_is_so_fucking_bloated/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] Couples thinspo anyone?
/u/fatalss
Created: Tue Oct 24 16:04:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78j83m/couples_thinspo_anyone/
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https://i.redd.it/sp9zpmceputz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Triggered by a DOG
/u/gigaponyyy [5'5 | 122 | UGW 100 🦄 | 30F 👵🏻]
Created: Tue Oct 24 16:02:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78j7l7/triggered_by_a_dog/
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I hit a new low today. My mom's dog triggered me real hard. I shall explain:
I know everyone has stressors in their lives, mine right now happen to be just. THE WORST. Today was not a good day. Typically when I have my "shit together" I'm a high restricter who sometimes eats her TDEE and then exercise purges. But for about 2 months now I've been restricting pretty hard. I live abroad and am back visiting the states for a couple weeks which has been pretty comforting to me. I have all my "safe foods" here and want to eat them instead of being sub-500 cal every day like I am when I'm abroad. But this morning I went through some pretty bad emotional stuff and lost my appetite for a bit.
By the time late afternoon rolled around, I convinced myself that I needed to eat *something*. My mom had just gotten back from the store so I made a little meat and cheese plate for myself and sat down on the couch to eat it. A few bites in, I looked down to see her dog hovering around, staring at me, watching me eat, and it immediately brought me back to this awful memory of when whatever my ED is first reared its ugly head.
My husband passed away a couple years ago and I vividly remember, all of his relatives, my relatives, our friends in one house with tons of food around, all of them wanted to feed me, to comfort me, to help me feel better, and something inside of me just could not stomach the thought of them staring at me, watching me eat. So, when I did eat, it was by myself (just a protein bar. lots of liquid vitamins) or I would push my food around on the plate and leave after a couple of minutes. I will never be able to explain it but I just didn't want any of them to see me eat. I felt nauseous just sitting around other people. That feeling ended up sticking around with me for months until I slowly felt okay-ish enough to start eating and exercising again, probably over exercising and under eating, but it was something.
For some fucked up reason, my mom's dog sitting next to me...licking her lips and staring...sent me straight back to that nightmare place and time. I have that same pit of grief in my stomach and tears in my eyes. I feel so worthless and mad that a freaking DOG made me feel this way. I never want to eat again.
[Rant/Rave] Shoutout to everyone else in the midwest/places that are cold/getting colder
/u/eggshellss [5'4"| :( | :( | -25 | 24F]
Created: Tue Oct 24 16:01:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78j7f4/shoutout_to_everyone_else_in_the_midwestplaces/
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I'VE BEEN FREEZING ALL DAY
two sweatshirts and infinite amounts of tea/broth/coffee can't help
spent the better part of the day under a blanket even though I would have been much more productive if I left home (writing my Masters thesis rn)
tis the life
[Rant/Rave] Scared about Halloween Weekend
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 24 15:10:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78iv9b/scared_about_halloween_weekend/
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[deleted]
[Help] Beaten up by little sister, anorexia is ruining my life
/u/throwawayaccount9222
Created: Tue Oct 24 14:44:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78iotg/beaten_up_by_little_sister_anorexia_is_ruining_my/
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[removed]
[Help] i fainted
/u/til_wednesday [5'8" | CW: 110 lbs | GW: 100 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Oct 24 14:39:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78inm1/i_fainted/
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i had 420 calories worth of nutrition bars for breakfast and i still had to excuse myself from class because of dizziness, where i proceeded to dry heave and faint in the bathroom stall, like the sophisticate i am.
i ate ~1,500 calories yesterday. i'm not thin nor am i restricting heavily.
has this happened to anyone else?
[Rant/Rave] Menstrual cycles and mental health
/u/sugarfreeicetea [5'7?|-22?|18F]
Created: Tue Oct 24 14:16:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78ihw0/menstrual_cycles_and_mental_health/
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My last cycle just ended yesterday and it was 67 days. It’s probably not just my ED because I don’t restrict that low and a ton of other factors (fucked up my body with birth control, moved out, college is stressful, got sick twice).
When I was 5 days late I started having the intrusive thought that I was pregnant, which is a recurring intrusive thought for me- I've been having ‘pregnancy scares’ since I was 15 and on birth control, so it was nothing new. But the past month I’ve been so paranoid and actually started to believe I might be pregnant.
It literally got to the point last night where I was nauseous and shaking because I was convinced I might be pregnant, so I spent $15 on 3 pregnancy tests. I’ve considered buying pregnancy tests in the past but it had never gotten to that point and literally on friday I said ‘I'm not going to spend $9 on an intrusive thought’ jokingly while walking past some with my roommate who knew I was late.
I took them and they came out negative which made me feel worlds better. Later in the night I talked with a friend who also thinks they are the next virgin mary when they are even one day late, which was very comforting.
So, after all of that yesterday, I just now found out I got my period today. This has to be some kind of sick joke...
Edit: Formatting
I look so fat today
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 24 14:06:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78if4x/i_look_so_fat_today/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Hate is a weird feeling
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 24 13:38:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78i84y/hate_is_a_weird_feeling/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Scared about seasonal weight gain
/u/napalmlife_ [5'6" | 104 | 16.78 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 24 13:31:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78i6cl/scared_about_seasonal_weight_gain/
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Soooo I am having anxiety over the possibility of gaining weight this winter. It seems to happen to me pretty much every year, but this past winter was the absolute worst. I skyrocketed to 118 lbs, which is the highest weight I've ever been. I was really really stressed after going to the psychiatric hospital for a week in november, and I think that and a new medication contributed to my weight gain but STILL I feel like every winter my thighs and face get fatter. Like seriously why my face?? I saw pictures of my face from last year and I wanted to run away screaming.
Does anyone else have this seasonal weight gain issue or annoying facial weight gain?
[Help] How many calories would a corndog from a school cafeteria be?
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 111 | GW: 105 | M/15]
Created: Tue Oct 24 13:27:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78i5hn/how_many_calories_would_a_corndog_from_a_school/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Period weight gain?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: who knows? | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 24 12:36:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78hsig/period_weight_gain/
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[removed]
[Discussion] My boyfriend watching porn triggers the shit out of me.
/u/JBL95
Created: Tue Oct 24 12:31:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78hr2k/my_boyfriend_watching_porn_triggers_the_shit_out/
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I'm not really sure why as I've never had an issue in the past and would watch porn semi-frequently but lately whenever I see the "PH" for Pornhub on my boyfriend's internet home screen on his phone or pick up his phone to look something up and see a gif of some chicks giant boobs bouncing (mine are small and deflated from fluctuations) I just die inside. I don't think I have the right to tell him to stop so I don't say anything but it just really really gets to me.
[Help] Hunger pains?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: who knows? | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 24 12:29:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78hqlq/hunger_pains/
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[removed]
[Discussion] How bad was your last b/p cycle and how did you end it?
/u/shrink-me [5'5" | 124 | 20.6 | GW 115 | 21F]
Created: Tue Oct 24 12:16:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78hnc1/how_bad_was_your_last_bp_cycle_and_how_did_you/
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In need of some solidarity. I'm miserably 4 days into another b/p cycle, with yesterday being the worst at 3 b/p in a row (think white bread, jam, waffles, other pastries, white rice, ramen, grapes, almonds... ugh)
What's your best way of getting out of a cycle? Are you still in a cycle? Tell me your all your troubles and we'll commiserate together 😭♥️
[Rant/Rave] what is going on
/u/daisyhands
Created: Tue Oct 24 12:07:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78hl2u/what_is_going_on/
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i've been fasting all day. it's now 7pm and there was a chocolate bar on my bench and i was craving it sooo much and i knew that i'd end of eating it all if i didn't taste a bit of it so i literally opened the chocolate bar and licked it and put it in the fridge (gross, i know. i just wanted the flavour) technically i didn't break my fast so why!!!do!!!i!!!feel!!!so!!!guilty AHHHH
[Rant/Rave] My period/PMS never fails to set me back
/u/diet247x [5'3 | CW 131 | HW 155 | GW 110 | UGW 100 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 24 11:45:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78hf9t/my_periodpms_never_fails_to_set_me_back/
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Earlier this month, I hit my LW of 130 lbs since the past 4 years (omg i've been fat for so long now). But last week, I started PMSing with horrible cramps and ate my way up to 135 lbs. I'm in the middle of my period now and I'm finally starting to debloat, but I'm still at 134 :(
I feel like I gain 4 lbs every month from my period, and the rest of the time is spent restricting like crazy to lose more than 4 lbs so I can make some progress. It is SO frustrating. I need to try harder.
Does anyone else get thrown off by their time of month?
[Rant/Rave] The New BMI screwed with me mentally..
/u/littlejanedoe- [5'1" |CW:124lbs | GW:115lbs | F]
Created: Tue Oct 24 11:41:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78hefs/the_new_bmi_screwed_with_me_mentally/
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On the old BMI I was 19.45% body fat I was happy with this and stuck to my fasting but didn't feel the overwhelming guilt I used to(as much). This helped a lot with my urge to purge. On the new BMI I am at 24.63% body fat at the same weight... its almost like all the progress I was making was for nothing. Like I need to restrict even more. It set me back and now I feel lost... Did anyone else have a similar feeling when they checked the new BMI?
[Other] My BMI finally dropped below 19!!!! (body check)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 24 11:25:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78habn/my_bmi_finally_dropped_below_19_body_check/
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https://i.redd.it/q4ntceukbttz.jpg
My thighs at 127 (5'8"). I almost like them. Almost...
/u/floodinginmymind [5'8" | CW: 135 | BMI: 20.4 | WL: 47 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 24 11:20:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78h915/my_thighs_at_127_58_i_almost_like_them_almost/
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https://i.redd.it/curqg9koattz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] hungry
/u/dying222
Created: Tue Oct 24 11:00:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78h3zu/hungry/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Was used for the first time, feels like crap.
/u/TooCool4Shoe [5'1 | CW: 125 | |-25lbs | F]
Created: Tue Oct 24 10:38:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78gynu/was_used_for_the_first_time_feels_like_crap/
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Looking for some related personal experiences from you guys, too. Has this happened to you before? How did you handle it? How are you feeling now?
I was talking to a friend for quite some time after a rough patch, it was going absolutely great, but he stopped chatting with me for a while after our talks got a bit sexual. I was devastated, he seemed genuinely interested in being a friend or even more, as we've hinted. Our talks were mostly him gloating about the sex he's had in his life, our age difference is quite big (15 yrs). After a few months I wanted to see what's up, we talked, I slept with him to validate that we were on good terms, I suppose.... but he went right back to ghosting me. I feel like he was manipulating me the whole time, looking back on some of our conversations.
But I keep telling myself 'maybe it's just the way he is'. But at this point, I don't think it is. I know I was silly and naiive, but I'm having a hard time coming to terms with this now. I only notice bad social cues after i've had a while to process them, ED makes the brain spacey when people talk to me most of the time.
[Help] I need to dress up
/u/noidea744 [5'3| CW 110.8 | BMI 20|F]
Created: Tue Oct 24 10:31:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78gwwu/i_need_to_dress_up/
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I had it planned out, just avoid Halloween like I do every year, just avoid Halloween, the kids go to my mum's so even if I go with them I don't need to dress up but I was supposed to be working on Saturday, which was my reason for skipping a Halloween party, now I'm not working so I kinda need to go to the party. And I'll have to dress up. I'm rather panicking! I'd appreciate some advice, I could go with some baggy onesie type thing that hides my shape alot and doesn't really feel like I'm dressed up or I could actually make an effort for once and go with some skimpy "sexy" thing like my boyfriend has mentioned three times already which I would tolerate for one night but "sexy" isn't something that really works with someone who looks like me. Opinions please? I feel bad that I don't make that kind of effort for him but I only don't do it because even looking pretty isn't something that works for me
To make it worse my boyfriend is going as a skeleton and has made a few comments about how it works for him since he's so skinny.
[Rant/Rave] Glamorous?
/u/Ladybeeortoise [5'6" | 109 |17.5 | GW: 105 | 34]
Created: Tue Oct 24 10:06:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78gqhr/glamorous/
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So for most of us here, we have a strong desire to be thin. A lot of people associate being thin with being happy. Thus, many of us glamorize weight-loss and there’s an entire community devoted to it (thinspo)
I’m not here to say I dislike thinspo because I view it all the time. What bothers me is no one shows the negatives of eating disorders. Again- not this sub per se but the overall ed community. Well here are some personal issues that I deal with daily due to my ed
My electrolyte levels are unbalanced
One of my molars is cracked and the tooth next to it is only 1/2 of a tooth. Years of purging have destroyed my teeth.
[teeth ](https://imgur.com/a/oxMb9)
I always wanted to have 3 children but years of abusing my body has left me with secondary infertility. My sister and sister-in-law are both pregnant right now. I always wanted my sister and I to be pregnant at the same time and that will never happen. It’s devastating.
My hair falls out and is dull. No matter what I do. My finger nails are thin and break all the time.
I have so many medical bills piling up. I can’t fit into any of my clothes properly and I can’t afford new clothes. I’m always cold. I’m always tired. Despite all of this, I continue down this dead-end street.
If you’ve read this far... congrats for getting through my rambling. But in all seriousness, there is nothing glamorous about this. In fact, it’s pretty disgusting when you really look at it.
Sorry the first photo is blurry but you can see how transparent my front teeth are. You can also see areas of rot that I cannot remove. The backside of my teeth are stained and the enamel is wearing away....
[Intro] Back on the ED train after 8 years
/u/puzzlette [5' 9" | CDS 12 | GDS 6 | SDS 14 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 24 10:01:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78gp4r/back_on_the_ed_train_after_8_years/
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I don't know if this is the right place or way to post, but I wanted to express some relief and thoughts.
I've only just realised that i'm not just on a diet.
When I was 15 I developed bulimia during the hell on earth that was school. My food intake was heavily monitored by my family (have to clear your plate and all that), so i'd skip breakfast and lunch, and throw up as much dinner as I could. I never came clean, and after a year I recovered alone, not telling a soul.
Here I am, aged 23, and I've been eating under 700 calories a day for almost a month now. Haven't eaten a carb for 2. I've been big but comfortable (UK size 12) for years, and then suddenly I became a real whale. Stretch marks appeared overnight like a map of where I should be ashamed on my stomach.
So I cut down on food. No snacks, no soft drinks, no beer, no breakfast, no lunch. I'm already back to 12, and I'm not stopping here.
I feel terrible, but also fucking great. It's nice to know there's a little supportive community in this corner of reddit.
Also, as an aside, I don't weigh myself, because to me it's not how much I weigh, it's how I look. DAE gauge loss based on dress size alone?
<3
[Discussion] Laxative abuse
/u/histrionicbitch [5'2" | 99 | 18 | 45 lbs | Female]
Created: Tue Oct 24 09:50:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78gmgc/laxative_abuse/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Does anxiety come with ED?
/u/water_77 [💖✨^_^]
Created: Tue Oct 24 09:46:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78glco/does_anxiety_come_with_ed/
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I used to restrict, then went to binge eating, and recently I've gone back to restricting. When I was restricting, my anxiety was so high. When I was binging, I had a lot less anxiety. But now that I'm going back to restricting, I think that I'm getting my anxiety back again. Is this for real or is it just placebo?
Or, better question, how can I not get anxiety again? I mean, I'd rather be skinny and anxious than fat and calm but still, anxiety is a real problem...
[Rant/Rave] Got my shit together
/u/AnActualBagofLard
Created: Tue Oct 24 09:17:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78gefw/got_my_shit_together/
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Longggg time lurker, first post on a new throwaway. I hit my goal weight several months ago, and decided to throw it all away with a month long binge after moving out on my own. Didn't have a scale of my own when I left, so I got a nice one that tells fat percentage. Turns out I managed to gain 30 fucking pounds. I am on my 3rd day of a fast currently, and am 2.6 pounds lighter! I'm just so happy to be getting back, in my own fucked up head, together again that I needed people who understand to talk to. I forgot how good the blue Powerade zeros are haha. Thanks for listening!
[Discussion] Goals for this week!!!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 24 09:08:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78gce1/goals_for_this_week/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Last night didn't end so well.
/u/DowntownTriumph91
Created: Tue Oct 24 09:04:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78gbeu/last_night_didnt_end_so_well/
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I'm on mobile, so I can't flair :c
This week has been a stressful week. Actually, this whole month has really been challenging, but I came home last night from work and told myself to just go to bed. Instead of doing that, I caved and ate 2000+ calories over my limit in a sleepy haze.
I'm trying to go easy on myself today, but I just feel as though I can't stop obsessing over why this happens and how this happens and how I can get rid of these calories and how it's going to affect my weight loss...etc...etc... I'm also scared that I'm slowly falling out of this space that I've created where restricting, particular habits and feelings are comforting, leading me to fall right back into binging and purging. I hate that shit. I honestly feel like I have no control over my ed a large majority of the time.
I'm currently at my mom's trying to use her elliptical, but it's just so hard. Like. I'm fucking exhausted physically and mentally...ugh. I went for an hour walk to minimize damage, but that really isn't shit. It's something, but it's not anything substantial.
Anyway, thank you for listening. I just had to get that off of my chest. I hope all of you are having a fabulous day, even though it's rainy and crummy 🌻
[Rant/Rave] Lying to my doctor
/u/daisyhands
Created: Tue Oct 24 08:20:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78g1d4/lying_to_my_doctor/
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last week i went to the doctors. the reason i went was not weight or ED related, it is slightly personal so i am not going to disclose why i went however the appointment turned from why i came to all about my weight. The doctor weighed me and measured me and said my BMI was close to underweight and asked if i was trying to lose weight since i've lost a lot from the last time i saw her. i said no (an obvious lie) and she said maybe i have thyroid issues or it's my anxiety making me lose weight (idk how that works, but she mentioned it). She booked me in for a blood test, which is tomorrow, and i can't help but feel guilty because i know why i'm losing weight.
i do not want to recover as even though i am nearly underweight, i still feel too fat! ahhhhh, the mind of someone with an ED, just brilliant:(
[Help] I'm losing it over a man, send help
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 24 07:18:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78fo0l/im_losing_it_over_a_man_send_help/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] A whoosh from the gods
/u/nervous_nandu [5'5" | CW 123.0 | LW/GW 98| 20F]
Created: Tue Oct 24 07:00:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78fk8z/a_whoosh_from_the_gods/
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Every morning this week I’ve stepped on the scale thinking, “there’s no way I lost weight since yesterday, I ate pasta, and half a chipotle bowl!” and every morning I cease to amaze myself by losing another pound. You guys wouldn’t believe this:
10/18- 128.2
10/19- 126.8
10/20- 125.0
10/21- 125.0 (the only day that fucked up but at least I didn’t gain)
10/22- 124.6
10/23-124.2
10/24- 123.0
I haven’t weighed this little in about a year and a half and I can physically see the changes. Last month I was hanging around 131.
Sending best whooshes to all!
[Help] Gained 0.7 grams overnight on liquid fast
/u/throwawayldr95
Created: Tue Oct 24 06:49:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78fi4x/gained_07_grams_overnight_on_liquid_fast/
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Help, I’m about to freak out. How tf did I gain that much?? For two weeks I’ve been drinking under 400 calories, and yesterday even under 200 (it was the first night of tomato juice however). This is making me not wanting to intake anything, even water.
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday October 24, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Oct 24 06:10:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78fau3/thinspo_tuesday_october_24_2017/
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Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 24, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Oct 24 06:10:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78fatd/daily_food_diary_october_24_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 24, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Help] How do y’all maintain? I’m 5’4 and getting closer to my goal weight. I am terrified of maintenance. Please help me.
/u/UncranniedCavell
Created: Tue Oct 24 05:18:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78f24m/how_do_yall_maintain_im_54_and_getting_closer_to/
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Throwaway because I am scared this q isn’t allowed (no idea why)
[Discussion] On the verge of my third hospitalization
/u/throw_away524
Created: Tue Oct 24 01:14:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78e5a6/on_the_verge_of_my_third_hospitalization/
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This is not my main obviously, but I was once a very active member on this sub. Very actively destroying my life.
I used to post daily back in febuary-may but I have deleted all of my posts and stopped myself from going on this sub. The only reason I am here is... well idk, just needed to get this out there.
I sorta had an ed for years, but I never let it get super bad, just maintained a slightly less than normal weight and I was pretty ok with it. But then I began hating myself more and more, and eventually wanted to do whatever it takes to be perfect.
In a few months I'd reached 88lbs and 5'5", even passed out a few times. I'd been trying to decide if this was worth it, did I really want to die? Or did I want to go through the slow and painful process of recovery?
Well my mom dragged me to the hospital where I spent one of the worst weeks of my life. Hooked up to the monitor 24/7, bathroom locked, door locked, and forced to eat disgusting food like melted ice cream.
But it all goes up from there right?
No.
In a few months of little to no progress, I became lazy with the meals and snacks plan, as well as becoming more active with a job. At this point I was legitimately trying to get better. I'd stopped counting my calories, and I'd stopped skipping meals.
But one day I went to the doctor they said my orthostsis was back and I needed to be admitted again. I cried and cried until my nose was bleeding. This time was so much worse because I promised myself that I would never be back.
But now here I am again. If I don't clean up my act right now, I have to go back again. If I do end up going back I'm not lying anymore. Before I claimed to not eat due to stomach pain and indigestion, and while that is partially true because I have severe digestive issues, I also have anorexia and if I do need that 3rd hospitalization I'm going to be honest and get the full program.
If there is anyone out there looking for a recovery buddy, pm me.
[Rant/Rave] I love it, but I hate it
/u/EatMyInsides
Created: Tue Oct 24 00:40:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78e0r8/i_love_it_but_i_hate_it/
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I love being cold, but I also hate it.
Why I hate it: that's simple, it's not a nice feeling to freeze. It's not comfortable walking with freezing feet and you can't do anything with your hands.
Why I love it: the body has to work harder to keep warm. I don't know if it's true, but it feels like that burns more calories.
Does anyone else have this love / hate relationship with being cold?
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend says I’m an awkward combination of too skeletal and kind of chubby
/u/WrathWar
Created: Mon Oct 23 23:47:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78dt00/my_boyfriend_says_im_an_awkward_combination_of/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Friend has ED too
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 23 23:10:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78dnkt/friend_has_ed_too/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] What rewards do you have planned?
/u/happychanges [5'11.5"| C: 165 | 22.28 | -26 |]
Created: Mon Oct 23 22:56:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78dl8m/what_rewards_do_you_have_planned/
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I plan a lot of rewards for every span of time. I find it really motivating and I just love to plan the next time I will acknowledge in a concrete way how awesome I am.
I am fasting until Saturday and if I am under 160 then I am going to have an ice cream or Gelato. I know there is a quote "do not reward yourself with food, you are not a dog" but really, fuck off with that lol. I am going to be slim SO I can eat whatever I want.
I have lists and lists of clothing I want to buy when I reach my GW. I also have a custom necklace I will have made, a new ring, and I am going to get a massage, on top of a new holiday dress and unlimited cuddling time lol. My bf says that if I hit my goal I can sit on his recliner with him whenever I want.
I dream of the stockings and underwear and dresses I will buy. My bf is also going to treat me to a shopping spree and pay for mlthe gym membership I want.
I am so excited for maintenance too. I want my normal schedule to be five days of fasting during the week, followed by eating as much as I want of whatever I want without worrying.
I have other things I want to do too. A.n aerial ribbon class, rock climbing, wear a bikini, horseback ride, build up my stamina so we can go on backpacking trips.
I don't know if I am in denial or not. My GW is in the healthy range for my height, I just don't have an issue with extreme restricting to get there. I take my supplements and vitamins... Sometimes I feel like a poser even though I can related to so many things and I recognize a lot of my behaviors and attitudes in other people here.
I don't find normal weight loss subs all that motivating to be honest because the majority of people strike me as very weak willed and uninformed. I have had so many accountability buddies and they always disappear or completely fail and it's just irritating.
Fortunately I have found a few people that seem more reliable.
I know this is rambling haha but I want to see links and pics of all the things you want to do and buy. :)
[Rant/Rave] I hate my body.
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 63.4 kg | BMI: 23.6 | -20.1 kg | 21F]
Created: Mon Oct 23 22:44:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78djin/i_hate_my_body/
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I knew I shouldn't have stepped on a scale today. I knew it and did it anyway. I went from my plateau of 63kg back to 64.7kg? I weighted myself on sunday! Is it water weight? Maybe...but it could also be actual weight considering I ate like the pig that I am over the weekend. I just hate myself and wluld love to simk into the ground and nit come out until I'm at least back on track.
Rant end.
[Help] Loose skin?
/u/fitisthegoal
Created: Mon Oct 23 22:19:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78deze/loose_skin/
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Does anyone going from 140- to below by at least 20 know if they got loose skin? I want to lose even faster but not if i'll just look worse and i'm paranoid now i'm ruining myself. I'm 5"5.5 if that helps.
[Rant/Rave] I think about how much I hate food and hate my body 50+ times a day.
/u/spookster6
Created: Mon Oct 23 22:09:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78dd1j/i_think_about_how_much_i_hate_food_and_hate_my/
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I don’t even have a diagnosed ED but god damn I HATE FOOD and hate eating in general bc I feel like everything I eat is unhealthy even if it’s fucking spinach or something. I was made fun of for not having an ass for years and began weightlifting and built a decent size one but I literally still feel like I have nothing at all and I hate my body. I’m dating the guy of my dreams and I don’t feel good enough for him even though he and nearly every guy I come in contact thinks I’m really attractive. I just want to not fucking hate my butt and my stomach fat and my thin hair and all this shit for one day of peace. Just one. It’s so hard having a voice yell st you that your fat and not good enough constantly. Not looking for compliments or anything either I just needed to write my thoughts out for a bit. Thank you :(
[Other] Staying at my aunt and uncle’s house in Portland (vegan heaven). Stuffed all the time, have to look at this during every meal 😩 meirl
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 23 21:38:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78d7c3/staying_at_my_aunt_and_uncles_house_in_portland/
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https://i.redd.it/ikkjovhx7ptz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Friend’s comment making me paranoid
/u/athrwoaway123
Created: Mon Oct 23 21:30:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78d604/friends_comment_making_me_paranoid/
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This evening I hung out with a friend I haven’t seen in three months. Since I last saw her, I’ve lost 20 lbs. The first thing she said when she saw me was “Oh my god you’ve lost so much weight. Are you okay?”
I feel so confused now. The last thing I want is for people to notice my weight loss (or weight gain) because I assume they will think I have a problem. So when she says that, I immediately imagine that everyone has been thinking the same thing but not saying anything. This friend met me at my high weight so I’m really hoping that this weight loss seems more dramatic to her than it would to someone who knew me at my typically lower weight. And I know that people who see me every day won’t have the same level of reaction either. So I appreciate that she cares about me (and she actually guessed right that I’m not really okay) but still, now I feel so paranoid.
It’s so frustrating. I feel like I have a chorus of people in my head all judging me and my weight. I thought it would go away when I lost the extra weight I had gained. And it has been much quieter lately, but now it’s back and I feel almost as stressed as I did at my high weight. Does anyone else experience this? How do you make that feeling go away?
[Other] Free Coke Zero Sugar text SHUTOUT to 2653
/u/AngelicZero [5'5.5"|-39| UGW115 | 12 Days BF]
Created: Mon Oct 23 21:07:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78d1xq/free_coke_zero_sugar_text_shutout_to_2653/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/freebies/comments/788zjc/free_20oz_coke_zero_sugar_at_7eleven_text_shutout/?st=J9513NX4&sh=48ed0b40
[Help] I want help but I don't feel sick enough for help?
/u/DoNotEatAllTheDonuts
Created: Mon Oct 23 21:00:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78d0ip/i_want_help_but_i_dont_feel_sick_enough_for_help/
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Does any one else struggle with this? Like this thing has destroyed my life. I know I need help but I think if I go to a doctor right now, they'll be like "no, no. You have to be skinny to have an eating disorder." I'm 5'7 and 140 pounds so definitely not skinny. But I can't stop b/ping. My life revolves around eating and throwing up. I've dropped out multiple times, I've lost jobs. But my mind is like "you're not good enough for help"
[Help] i want to try quest bars so bad but i'm nervous
/u/band-aide [5'6 | CW: 125 | SW: 140 | F/18]
Created: Mon Oct 23 20:58:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78d06h/i_want_to_try_quest_bars_so_bad_but_im_nervous/
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they're so calorie-dense but i'm afraid eating one won't keep me full. i guess i'm asking for reassurance but i know bodies respond differently to things so i won't know till i try. i'm going to get a clif bar from the vending machine in my apartment tomorrow when i get back from class but i'm so nervous that it won't keep me feeling full and i'll be eating all of those calories in a little bar and it'll feel like nothing...
[Discussion] DAE: Purge for self harm?
/u/thescarletlettergirl [5'3 | CW 105 | UGW 90 | 18 F | BMI 18.6😞]
Created: Mon Oct 23 20:43:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78cx94/dae_purge_for_self_harm/
---
I often find myself these days purging after eating very small planned meals if I get triggered by stress or by my very rude, critical, and abusive family. Today, I ate about 80 calories of blueberries in the morning then after my grandma made very rude comments about my ED "just get over it, watch what you eat if you haven't been purging so you don't get fat like you were as a kid" I've been hospitalized twice (she knows this also knows I've had an ED since I was 14) and have told her multiple times not to comment on my food and weight which she does daily and doesn't care. Some days I think she doesn't even care if I die idek. Anyways, I ate some cereal and halo top for about 260 calories making my daily total (380) and purged it and I made sure to do it very aggressively so it would hurt and my throat would be very sore afterwards. I have a history of cutting and burning, so I feel like I do this solely for self harm. I didn't even feel guilty about the calories because I had hardly eaten all day and it was under my planned intake.
[Discussion] I want to be a mom one day, but how do you keep your ED from affecting your kids negatively
/u/naughtyhotty [5'7.5 | CW:128 | BMI:19.8 | GW:115? | 22F]
Created: Mon Oct 23 20:20:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78csuh/i_want_to_be_a_mom_one_day_but_how_do_you_keep/
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I used to be a huge Rihanna fan but when she recently gained all that weight, I was v disappointed to the point of not really being a fan anymore bc it was kinda triggering.
So with my future kids... lol. I just know that I'll fill my home with healthy food and cook healthy meals and preach the GMO thing... and make sure they are involved in sports.
If they become overweight despite those efforts.... I'm gonna be like... Um what are you doing??
Srry
I'll try not to use the word fat with them.....?
I know how to not be rude but if I notice weight gain I might accidentally give them a look
Idk
I think about this sometimes + I see people post about their crazy parents and i'm like... gulp that might be me.
I'm def a perfectionist when it comes to my own looks and body so.....
[Rant/Rave] 23/1 fasting, success ED brain, failure
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Mon Oct 23 19:18:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78cfzp/231_fasting_success_ed_brain_failure/
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Have been proud of sticking to my 23/1 fasting hours. But the last 3 days I have over eatenduring that hour ugghhhh. Today I kept it under 2,000. But two days before sucked! Note to future me (even though I predicted this) DO NOT buy Halloween mini candy thinking oh, great, these are so tiny, I'll have a few a day, ruined my fucking life!!!! I feel so fat!!! I have been keeping a legit written journal in Addition to MFP to keep me accountable for this binge and my life choices. It's helped to stop it and bring me down a little.
I started yesterday's then scribbled it out and wrote,200000 calories you are fat and disgusting! The self love is real 🙃.
I get it in my mind sometimes in a moment of possible sanity, fuck this ED I will just eat normal. Then after being normal I just eat as much everrrrrr to not waste a day I'm allowed to eat? Wtf I could have had less even though I ruined it, I still could have just ate "normal" I hate this brain!
[Help] Need some advice from people who have lost their period?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | 139.4 | 18.91 | ~64lbs | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Mon Oct 23 19:16:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78cfkz/need_some_advice_from_people_who_have_lost_their/
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I have gone three months without my period... unfortunate but whatever.
Problem is, I also recently started having sex again. I had alot of anxiety over pregnancy before- only to have it alleviated by my period every month, but thats not longer a solution i guess.
How do you keep yourself sane going through this? Buying pregnancy tests every month is going to get expensive...
[Intro] Intro
/u/translucentdreamer [Height 5'6" | CW 150ish | F]
Created: Mon Oct 23 18:26:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78c572/intro/
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Hi guys! So, I've been a longtime lurker and I thought it was time I introduced myself. I just made this account so I can feel more comfortable about posting/commenting on here. A little back story about me I guess...
I'm 23 and I've had issues with food ever since I could remember. I'm not diagnosed with an actual ED, but I've spent years struggling to find a happy relationship with food - so many cycles of binging and high restricting and never making any real progress with my body/mind/relationship with food...
Up until last year when I finally found a great place where I had lost almost 20 lbs and felt HEALTHY and happy and confident. Then I graduated from university and moved to Australia and things fell apart. I gained all my weight back and my self-esteem has plummeted.I'm not really sure what I'm trying to say here.. but I found this sub and the more I've read the posts the more and more I've found that people actually feel the same and have the same relationship/feelings about food/weight loss. So, I guess this is me saying "hi" and thank you for all of your bravery in posting your deepest thoughts and also for not judging others :)
[Discussion] Restricting vs self love
/u/50shadesofskinny [5'4 | 135lbs | -50lbs | 23F]
Created: Mon Oct 23 18:24:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78c4qn/restricting_vs_self_love/
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Do y’all ever feel like your disordered eating and being able to love yourself are completely mutually exclusive? I can’t find the strength for both. If I’m working on self love, I’m eating too much, I’m not exercising enough (or at all), and I’m constantly fighting myself internally about how I’ll never get there if I’m not thin. It feels like I’m sabotaging myself when I’m gaining or maintaining.
Eventually I go back to restricting because it feels like I have to, but then I get so hateful and harsh toward myself in the process because I feel like that’s the only thing that keeps me strong enough to restrict and get through work outs.
My whole life is a mess as usual because everything takes a back seat to my relationship with food whether I’m shoving it in my face or I’m throwing it away so I won’t eat it. I have so little self worth I can barely get anything done. I’m so behind in everything. I can’t muster the courage to ask for a raise I desperately need. I can’t clean my messy house. I can’t even get myself to shower half the time.
I just feel like I’m caught in a loop that will never go away because I’m either fat and sad or I’m losing weight and it’s never enough and I’m sad. I wish I could exist in a world without food and without a body.
Would love to hear anybody’s thoughts or if anyone kinda relates.
[Rant/Rave] Am I fit to be a nurse?
/u/ralphandrusso420
Created: Mon Oct 23 18:05:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78c06z/am_i_fit_to_be_a_nurse/
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LTL, FTP, you know you know.
Anyway, I started nursing school in August and I'm just thinking, what if I am not fit to be a nurse? I love my clinical patients and I'm doing well in school, but I'm actively making myself sicker to be thin. I'm scared someone in my clinical group / facility will notice and I'll be kicked off the program. I love what I'm doing but I just want to be perfect. Ugh. I guess this is more of a rant than a question.
[Discussion] DAE justify their eating based on what their inspo looks like
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 23 17:56:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78by60/dae_justify_their_eating_based_on_what_their/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] DAE update their flair with extreme caution/intent??
/u/Zurthrow [5'4| CW:133 | BMI:23.2 | GW1:130 | 22F]
Created: Mon Oct 23 17:47:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78bway/dae_update_their_flair_with_extreme_cautionintent/
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Ok so I have no idea how anyone else decides to do their flair (and some don't), but I have rules for mine that are almost stricter than the rules I have for my own weight loss? Lmao. I'm not sure if it's mild OCD related to my ED history or pride or what but I will only change my flair in increments of 1 pound (never half, never two or more at once, etc). I also never want to change my flair to a higher weight, so it's usually a few pounds higher than my current morning/low weight at any given time because I won't change it until I'm totally sure that it feels right. For example, I've been around 130-132 lb the past few days and I just now decided I needed to change my flair from 134 to 133.
Anyway, how do y'all do it? I'm curious if a lot of people update it with their low weight each morning, or if they have weird rules like mine, or if there's a specific reason that you have chosen not to have a flair!
Plans
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 23 17:39:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78bunc/plans/
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https://i.imgur.com/QiZXscT.jpg
Having an eating disorder = walking for an hour in the rain bc you are 400 more calories than planned
/u/thinismygame [5'6.5" | 125 | F | 22]
Created: Mon Oct 23 17:37:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78bu3t/having_an_eating_disorder_walking_for_an_hour_in/
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[removed]
[Other] I didn’t know how quickly this could happen, feeling so isolated..
/u/Idunnoking
Created: Mon Oct 23 17:34:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78btif/i_didnt_know_how_quickly_this_could_happen/
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I’ve been developing disordered eating for the past month or so. I was aware of it but seemingly sunk deeper then i have been aware of until tonight made me confront this. I didn’t think I’d come to be upset about eating with my family. My step mom made pasta and the entire time I was so anxious not knowing exactly what a portion would be and I absolutely dreading I ate over budget :( I’m sorry if this post and myself don’t belong here I just didn’t think I would of ended up like this. I didn’t even eat until I was full and even considered throwing it up (I’ve done that once before years ago but never since then) ? I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. I don’t know how to change this mindset now that I’ve settled into it. Also I’m sorry I wasn’t sure what to put the flair as. Just feeling a little lost
[Tip] Don't let electrolytes get low
/u/luxklepto
Created: Mon Oct 23 17:29:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78bsii/dont_let_electrolytes_get_low/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Does anyone else do this
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Mon Oct 23 17:17:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78bpuh/does_anyone_else_do_this/
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My boyfriend often tells me I’m really/too skinny and to stop losing weight (which is NOT true. I am 118 and only 5’1). So sometimes I’ll try to make myself look bigger around him, like purposely sticking out my stomach- especially after a big meal.
Just so maybe he’ll notice and see what I see and understand why I want to lose weight. I know he’ll never tell me if he notices and honestly he would still be happy if I was 300lbs so it doesn’t really matter. It just frustrates me a little when he tells me how skinny I am and it makes me feel like I’m being unreasonable about my weight.
Also I don’t really believe most people if they tell me I’m skinny, especially if they are bigger than me.
[Discussion] I regret opening up to friends and family members about my ED because now I feel like every time they see me they expect me to be skinnier
/u/CoolCatLovesAllKids [164cm | 15 | lmfao | Female]
Created: Mon Oct 23 17:12:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78boq4/i_regret_opening_up_to_friends_and_family_members/
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So majority of my closest friends know about my ED. Not everyone in my family is super aware of it, they know I have eating issues but I think they think I just don’t have an appetite because of my depression.
I feel as if though I let them down when I see them and I haven’t lost weight. As if though I was lying to them about my ED.
Kinda motivates me to keep going though, so I guess it isn’t *that* bad.
Anyone else feel like this?
[Discussion] What do y'all do for a living, or study?
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 82 lbs | 15.53 | -24ish | f]
Created: Mon Oct 23 17:01:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78bm2z/what_do_yall_do_for_a_living_or_study/
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I find more and more often my ED gets in the way of professional/academic pursuits and i wondering what's (at lest partially) working out for you guys? What interests or occupations manage to coexist with this? Also it'd just be cool to know what kinda roads we walk independent of our affliction !
I didn’t think I’d be anxious to eat with my family..
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 23 16:51:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78bjw3/i_didnt_think_id_be_anxious_to_eat_with_my_family/
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[deleted]
[Help] I'm debating whether to go on Nexplanon or just get an IUD -- have any of you who used Nexplanon/Implanon gain weight?
/u/pedaling-backwards [5'2 | 108 | 20F]
Created: Mon Oct 23 16:28:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78beo6/im_debating_whether_to_go_on_nexplanon_or_just/
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I've been leaning towards Nexplanon because it feels less invasive than an IUD, but the only thing holding me back from it is all of the negative online reviews saying they had a crazy appetite while on it and gained a bunch of weight.
Has anyone that used the Nexplanon or Implanon before gain weight/get an increased appetite from it? Because, if that's the case, I might as well just suck it up and get a copper iud because I'd rather deal with an awkward invasive procedure for 5 minutes than gain a shitton of weight on the implant.
[Rant/Rave] i feel worthless and unnecessary
/u/honigtoast [166cm | CW: 51.7 |GW: 45 | 18.8 | 25F]
Created: Mon Oct 23 16:23:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78bdd6/i_feel_worthless_and_unnecessary/
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(you can skip this if you want):
my ex boyfriend had some friends, and they had a roommate and we always got away very well. 4 years later I broke up with my boyfriend (we're still good/best friends). That roommate (and my ex' friends) I met by accident again in a pub and had a nice evening together. we texted each other. but he always took like 24-48 hrs to answer to small talk messages. I told him that he is an attractive guy and he said the same to me. It was all weird because I saw him messaging a guy with hearts on the same evening, and he didn't seem to enjoy accompanying me to my house. Blabla we wanted to do a friends journey. He canceled last minute (he is infamous for that). Then weeks later he messaged me, asking if we wanted to go to a museum at the beginning of October. I said yes. But nothing came from him. So I messaged him on the 21st. He said "yes of course i want to meet you". And now we are meeting mid nov. lol. he said he messages me if he and his friends are going out.
...**now to the rant**:
he won't. i know it. they always go out on tuesday. and he won't message me. cause I'm a joke to him. because I'm a joke to everyone on this whole fucking planet. no one actually cares about me. they just want someone to push their ego. no one is actually interested in what I'm doing. Now one would ever cry about me.
and the funny thing is. i desperately hope he will message me, and that he sees that I'm officially ~underweight~ again. I lost 15 lbs in a month. I want them all to see it. I want to see the worries on his face. Because no one else is worried. I hope that someone finally sees how sad I am really on the inside. and not only my mother. I hope they reconsider what they did to me: putting me in the corner like I am an object. I wish that finally someone cares, someone stays. I'm so sick of feeling like a joke. And I don't know what I can do against all the people who treat me like shit. Who make me feel like I don't exist.
(wow. this is so much my fcking ED talking)
I know it would like an abusive ass move, but it is permanently shouting in my head. :(
[Goal] I can't do this anymore
/u/onlysaysNOO [5'3 | CW ??| BMI 15.?|F]
Created: Mon Oct 23 16:21:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78bd2q/i_cant_do_this_anymore/
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Guys I'm roughly 82lbs at 5'3 and I'm in such poor health that I just can't I can't do this anymore.
I'm going for recovery, or at least a higher goal weight. I'm looking horrible and sick and terrible. I can't keep doing this anymore. I can't just kill myself.
I love you all so so much I really do.
[Discussion] Selfish, but also satisfying
/u/ohwellolivia
Created: Mon Oct 23 16:20:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78bcue/selfish_but_also_satisfying/
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Nothing gives me more ED satisfaction than cooking for others and not feeding myself 😍. Baking cookies for the staff at a group home I work with, homemade pasta for my neighbors, even dog treats for my puppy. At this moment I’m making a HUGE mushroom and onion omelette with sausage for my husband. It smells devine, and I’m not touching it. It gives me such a high to prepare yummy things for the people I love, without feeling like actually have to eat them. It’s so empowering. I’m on hour 43 of my water fast and I’m on cloud 9!! Anyone else feel this way when cooking?
[Discussion] Does anyone else
/u/NewEnglandAutumn [5'8 | 120.8 | BMI 18.2 | GW 111]
Created: Mon Oct 23 16:18:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78bc7f/does_anyone_else/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I feel so guilty and I hate myself
/u/ilovecovfefe
Created: Mon Oct 23 16:02:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78b8la/i_feel_so_guilty_and_i_hate_myself/
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What am I doing? How have I let myself become like this? I'm such a greedy, fat fuck. I've been binging like mad these past couple of days. Completely neglected my studies. Avoided all forms of responsibility for my future. I'm pretty sure my BMI is "overweight" now. I want to make my parents proud. I want to prove myself. I want to do something good with my life. I don't want to sit in my room stuffing my face. My family starved in the holocaust for fuck's sake. And this is how I remember them. Wasting vast amounts of money and food. I just want to stop. I can't stop though, because I must fast now. I gotta fast. Even though I have an exam in a couple of days I need to fast this binge off. I can't be overweight. Gaining even more weight is worse than failing an exam at this point. I want to cry at the state of my life. I'm not going to cry though. I hate crying because I'm not a victim. I can control this. Fuck, I'm sorry for this rant I have no one in my life to help me get through this right now.
I feel so guilty
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 23 15:49:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78b5sh/i_feel_so_guilty/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Why can’t I tell my therapist??????
/u/NewEnglandAutumn [5'8 | 120.8 | BMI 18.2 | GW 111]
Created: Mon Oct 23 15:47:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78b5c7/why_cant_i_tell_my_therapist/
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I just want to tell her EVERYTHING!!! I look forward to my appointments all week, knowing that once I tell her everything will get better. But then time comes and I can’t do it and nothing gets any better. Right now all she knows is that I’ve done 1200isplenty when it’s not safe for me and that I eat wayy too much junk food. But that’s barely scratching the surface. (Check my post history if you’re curious.)
And then she rants about healthy food groups while I sit there in silence and don’t listen to her.
My next appointment is Wednesday. I WANT TO TELL HER STUFF GODDAMMIT. I’m thinking about typing literally everything up and forcing myself to give it to her so it won’t be that bad.
Help? Tips? Tricks? Encouragement? 😔
[Discussion] Is sex a trigger for you? Alcohol? Weed?
/u/letstryforkarma
Created: Mon Oct 23 15:33:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78b1oc/is_sex_a_trigger_for_you_alcohol_weed/
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Because i think it may be my strongest one. I've been in denial for a long time. But I'm pretty sure it is.
Whether it's self love or with a partner, i want to binge afterwards. With a partner is a bit worse because of the validation of someone accepting the way you look.
In second place for me comes weed. Very rarely have not binged after getting high. The few times i didn't binge, i really wanted to. At the very least i was very upset i didn't prepare low calorie snacks beforehand.
Third maybe alcohol.
Right now I'm abstaining from all three and my binging is mostly in control...
Might mention it to my new psych tomorrow, but it's a bit TMI i feel...
[Discussion] I'm going to be nude modeling and not sure how I feel about it, has anyone else done this before?
/u/autotrapqueen [5'7.5| CW 131.8 | 20.19 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 23 15:29:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78b0xo/im_going_to_be_nude_modeling_and_not_sure_how_i/
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My friend is a photo major and is doing a body study shoot so I'm going to be posing nude/nearly nude for her on Friday. I'm excited because most days I'm very proud of how my body looks and how much I've worked for it to look this way. I really love how I look naked and she's an amazing photographer so I'm sure the pictures are gonna be awesome.
But I'm also incredibly anxious that seeing my body from pictures someone else takes is going to set me off. I notice every little fold and flab even if someone else doesn't. I also know that she photoshops most if not all of her pictures to fine tune them, I feel like I'll want so badly to look like the photoshopped version of myself and feel so far from that.
I'm probably just overthinking this (as I do), overall I'm excited and definitely feel comfortable with her but just wondering if anyone has had experience doing something like this and can share how it made them feel.
[Rant/Rave] i hope they serve caramel rice cakes in heaven
/u/til_wednesday [5'8" | CW: 110 lbs | GW: 100 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Oct 23 15:10:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78aw62/i_hope_they_serve_caramel_rice_cakes_in_heaven/
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i got a package of caramel rice cakes last night at the grocery store and i have no idea how i went through life not fully appreciating their existence. i've had 3 today (only 150 cal) and i'm so excited that i've found a new crunchy/sweet safe food. are rice cakes a staple safe food for anyone else?
[Rant/Rave] "Fatass"
/u/fuckingusernamee [4'11 | 115| 23.2| F]
Created: Mon Oct 23 14:21:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78ajxz/fatass/
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I can't believe it. I was talking to my boyfriend about going to the gym with me and he said he didn't want to and I said "You should, it's fun." and he immediately blurted back "You should ya fatass." He thinks he was joking, but damn that hurt like hell. I'm so infuriated and disgusted with myself. He is the only person who knows about my relationship with food. I EVEN told him my relapse had a lot to do with him and other people close to me calling me thick and fat. He encourages me to eat, but then knocks me right back down. I hate myself so much.
[Rant/Rave] How to not gain weight on holiday with family!
/u/littleavo
Created: Mon Oct 23 13:55:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78adaj/how_to_not_gain_weight_on_holiday_with_family/
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TW
RANT!!!
I generally have no clue how I'm going to hide my relapse with my family whilst I'm on holiday. I'm petrified of gaining weight but I'm also petrified of giving away that I've relapsed. They've already commented they they're worried I've lost weight, but I've managed to scoot round it by eating more in front of them and purging, but I don't know how the he'll I'm going to stick to eating less, especially as we'll be eating out and I'll be with them 24/7!!!
[Other] bujo fasting tracker - bonus lazy pastel galaxy theme
/u/cheakysquair [5'4" | -20lbs | gw:-41lbs | f]
Created: Mon Oct 23 13:41:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78aa2p/bujo_fasting_tracker_bonus_lazy_pastel_galaxy/
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https://i.redd.it/afeqrtjoumtz.png
[Help] Toxic Friend/ED buddy? Need advice.
/u/spencerhastingsirl
Created: Mon Oct 23 13:39:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78a9d6/toxic_friended_buddy_need_advice/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] So my doctor's appointment was a mess
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 87.8lbs | BMI 16.06ish | GW: 87lbs | 20F]
Created: Mon Oct 23 13:36:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78a8ja/so_my_doctors_appointment_was_a_mess/
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I scheduled an appointment with my general doctor like two months ago when I first became concerned about my relapse. I just got back from the appointment...
First of all, when you go in about an eating disorder, they're supposed to have you stand backwards on the scale when they weigh you. They didn't have me do that.
Second, the doctor had no idea about eating disorders. Like, none. Thank god I went in there with a level head and a will to get better at least in some capacity because this woman invalidated the fuck out of me.
To summarize: She essentially was not concerned. At all. She didn't ask me about my eating disordered behaviors, so I didn't get a chance to talk about them. She tried to veer me towards thinking I might have a thyroid problem (I don't). She wasn't concerned that I've lost about 14lbs in a two month time frame. She didn't attempt to do a physical. She simply said she would give me the number to my health insurance in order for me to get a therapist. Then, she asked if I had anything else in mind, and seemed confused as to why I was sitting there stunned. I stammered. She asked if I wanted other referrals. I inquired about a nutritionist, to which she said YES, why, I think that's something I can do!
She left the room and I sat there just...so completely annoyed and dejected. This woman didn't even think to get me in touch with a nutritionist when I specifically have a problem with an eating disorder.
She came back with the number for the insurance, a referral to a nutritionist, and some other stuff not related to my ED that I discussed with her.
I ended up talking her into getting me blood work, which was annoying.
I'm so upset. Just so beyond upset. I have a BMI of well under 17.5, the requirement for a diagnosis of Anorexia, and this woman didn't take me seriously at all. I feel invalidated. And hurt. And scared.
I'm pissed that I had more knowledge about this than she did.
Idk guys. I'm fuming. Part of me feels like I must not have a problem if she acted so unbothered by this. I don't know what to do.
[Rant/Rave] Starting over.
/u/Nikkeinoot [171 cm | can't weigh | GW: 48 kg]
Created: Mon Oct 23 13:19:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78a4fj/starting_over/
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After half a year of heavy restricting, I lost control. I've gained back everything I lost plus even more.
Today is the day I'm starting over. I'm done with the binging, I need to regain the 'control' (hah, who am I kidding) I used to have.
And whatever I'm going to go through and whatever mistakes I'll make, this community is going to help me, thank all of you for being awesome :)
I never post, this basically is my first post on this account but I just wanted to thank you all for how supportive you all are. Love you guys. <3
[Discussion] DAE only feel comfortable eating packaged/restaurant food?
/u/jjfmish [5'6 | HW:163lbs CW:150lbs GW:120lbs | 19/F]
Created: Mon Oct 23 12:29:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/789rl6/dae_only_feel_comfortable_eating/
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I feel like I'm the polar opposite of orthorexic lol - I pretty much live on Tim Hortons soup, cheese, cold cuts, ramen and Subway sandwiches. Yet I can't eat a homemade chicken breast or salad because I don't know the exact number of calories in it. I can't even lose weight the 'right way' lol. Thank god for CICO.
[Rant/Rave] Calling all Dermatillomaniacs
/u/OldCrowFreakShow
Created: Mon Oct 23 12:08:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/789lvb/calling_all_dermatillomaniacs/
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I have never *ever* had the "pleasure" of speaking with someone caught up in the same mess as me, I desperately avoid this subject and have spent over a decade alone with it. I'm asking here because it's been associated with body dismorphia, which is something I didn't believe at first, but have really started to see a connection to my disordered eating and poor body image. If you deal with this too and could spare a rant, reading it would really give me something to think about.
[Discussion] Fasting and pop/soda
/u/OhChickenBalls [5'8 | 23M | GW:120]
Created: Mon Oct 23 11:56:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/789iy2/fasting_and_popsoda/
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Longtime lurker, first actual post ✨
So what're your guys opinions on things like Coke Zero and Pepsi Max when fasting? I fast to purge and even things like fruit juice or squash guilt the hell out of me. With zero cal pop I feel like I'm cheating but without the guilt and it's a lot less boring than constant water and coffee. Anyone else do the same?
Been binging like crazy, what do i do now?
/u/drinkinshamepain
Created: Mon Oct 23 11:41:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/789eqx/been_binging_like_crazy_what_do_i_do_now/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] "You're not purging anymore you must be recovered!"
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 23 11:34:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/789d63/youre_not_purging_anymore_you_must_be_recovered/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Just why 😑
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 63.4 kg | BMI: 23.6 | -20.1 kg | 21F]
Created: Mon Oct 23 11:23:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/789a92/just_why/
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This will be long and cover several points. Please bear with me.
1. I've had 2 high calorie days and that makes me feel like shit. I think I still stayed below my TDEE so I'm not in a panic mode but I'm pissed that my self control jumps out the window when it comes to french fries and other stupidly delicious junk food.
2. On saturday someone asked me "did you stop eating or do you have some condition? You lost qiite a bit!".....I'm not sure uf I should be happy...yeah I like it that people notice but do they have to tell me tgat in a way where I don't know what to answer? Thanks? No that doesn't fit. Be honest and answer with "no"? Hell no. Can't people just say normal stuff?!
3. I've been told I'll never look "delicate" /"tiny" no matter how much I'll lose, and that I'd look "boney" at best. Yeah...like that's gonna keep me from starving. I know I'm not a petite or small person and that I'll never get there but that won't stop me from trying!!! If boney is the only thing I can get then boney it is!
4. I'm on a fucking plateau. I thought I was off but water retention says no. At least I really hope it's just water. I reeeeaaaally wanna get off these 63kg asap! It's driving me crazy.
5. Way too many birthday parties and other parties (I'm a freshman at university). I try to restrict as hard as I can on weekdays but I feel like it's not enough (see point number 4). It was so easy restricting to <400cals daily, now I barley manage the 500? Fml. Not to forget to mention that everyone I know lives to eat in front of me. I can hold back actually but god do I resent them at these moments.
That's it for my long stupid rant, if you actually made it to the end. I really needed to get this off my chest.
[Goal] Going back to calorie counting
/u/shakespearestark
Created: Mon Oct 23 11:12:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7897it/going_back_to_calorie_counting/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Student commiseration
/u/daeboo [5ft1.5🌙93.2lbs]
Created: Mon Oct 23 10:49:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7891mo/student_commiseration/
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Currently sitting in a lecture hall hammering out a summary that procrastinated on in favor of binging and purging alone in my room. My stomach is burning from the diet coke and apples I've had so far. I'm dizzy and thinking about quest bars, but later I need to sit in the library and catch up on three weeks of ignored readings.
Exiting a binge cycle, and the real world is catching up with me. I'm also fucking starving. I've got goals in place and a strategy to keep myself from binging at the dining hall but I'm also constantly about to collapse from hunger.
School and ED s don't mix very well. I'm inviting everyone else in post secondary to have a massive pity party with me in the comments. How you guys stay functional, I have no clue.
[Help] Advice for liquid diet?
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | SW: 130 | CW: ~125 | GW: small | 20F]
Created: Mon Oct 23 10:31:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/788wv4/advice_for_liquid_diet/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Lentil calorie differences
/u/coffeexsmokes [5'2" | 100 | -50 | 21F]
Created: Mon Oct 23 10:07:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/788qp3/lentil_calorie_differences/
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So I recently bought red, green, and French lentils, and didn't realize how different the nutritional values were until later. Online isn't providing much help.
Could anyone tell me what the calorie per gram is for each of these types of Lentils? I can't safely cook them until I know...
Edit - Update: I just read somewhere that they are allowed to remove a certain amount of calories from fiber. So in all likelihood the calories are being misrepresented as lower than they actually are.
[Goal] I hit my goal weight and I feel nothing but disgusted with myself.
/u/TheThirdCloneOfXyxl
Created: Mon Oct 23 09:34:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/788im4/i_hit_my_goal_weight_and_i_feel_nothing_but/
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Another 3 months of hardcore restricting and pure misery and here I am. 45lbs down. Not underweight, but a pound below my UGW and I look huge.
I have a thigh gap. I can see my collarbones. The entire structure of my ribcage is visible if I suck in my tummy. Yet I feel gigantic…? I thought this would be where it magically ends, but it was silly to believe I'd suddenly be "normal" again.
But any accomplishment is something to be proud of, right? Here's to more misery my dudes. Cheers.
[Rant/Rave] I recovered but now I have some digestive issue causing me to lose weight, and I don't know how to feel.
/u/Kylepinocchio
Created: Mon Oct 23 08:51:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7887tl/i_recovered_but_now_i_have_some_digestive_issue/
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Alright, so as of right now the doctor thinks it is Crohn's disease. I have a colonoscopy Friday.
I've lost 12 lbs while still bingeing on whatever I want because it goes right through me and I don't digest food as well anymore.
Now I'm honestly scared to figure out what it is, because I don't want to stop losing weight. I'm worried I'll keep bingeing like I have been, but if we solve the problem I will just pack on the pounds. :(
Has anyone else ever been in a shitty situation of having a health problem but not wanting to solve it, so you can continue losing weight?
I'm 3 lbs from underweight now. So close. Ugh. :(
[Discussion] When do you consider to be the "start" of a new fast?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 23 07:52:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/787udp/when_do_you_consider_to_be_the_start_of_a_new_fast/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Everything turned out alright I guess
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 87.8lbs | BMI 16.06ish | GW: 87lbs | 20F]
Created: Mon Oct 23 07:31:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/787q4l/everything_turned_out_alright_i_guess/
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I was super nervous all last week about this weekend. I had to go visit my dad and knew that we'd all have traditional family meals where everyone sits down at the table for the duration of dinner, lunch, etc.
So I actually did really well. On Friday I ended up not eating anything until I got to Virginia. Total intake was somewhere around 1000. Not terrible I guess.
Saturday was a shit show and a half. I tried not to eat a lot during the day/picked low cal options. But then for dinner my step-grandparents took us to a really nice restaurant. I got a Miso bowl, which sounded low cal, but when they brought it out... It was binge city. It was a truly massive serving. The bowl was bigger than my head. There had to be like 4 or 5 individual servings in it. I couldn't handle it. I ate so much of that damn miso bowl and everyone else is apparently dieting so they were shocked. Then I got chocolate cake because screw it, right?
So I ended up purging at the restaurant. Thank god they had individual bathrooms.
Sunday was easy- all I had was coffee and Halo Top lol. Total cals stayed around 500.
Today, I weighed myself. I was totally dreading it...but I'm actually at a lower weight than when I left. Woooo!
I'm pissed that I purged and abused laxatives but honestly it didn't turn out to be as horrible as I thought it would AND I apparently didn't gain weight. Thank god.
[Rant/Rave] All I ever wanted to be was lovely
/u/mylapfairy
Created: Mon Oct 23 06:59:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/787jfy/all_i_ever_wanted_to_be_was_lovely/
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And the fuck did I get?
Skinny fat, tired but heart racing all the time (too much coffee), irritable and sad, which are all things decidedly not lovely, agh.
Not to mention, finals are coming up, and I most definitely will not be restoring that time (I need that cognitive function), so this month is all I have.
On the plus side, guys guys, I have a boyfriend! For the first time in my life, I feel the closest thing to living for myself! We're taking things real slow (he knows about my past) and he's there for me everyday.
He calls me bunny, the fuck? I feel so giddy and happy and safe.
But I also want to be the best version of myself for him, so again, it comes back to being lovely.
....
I'm working on that, haha.
Sorry for the rant/rave, I just needed to tell someone! And complain at same time! I love you all.
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! October 23, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Oct 23 06:14:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/787b0h/weekly_stats_update_october_23_2017/
---
This is the weekly status thread for October 23, 2017.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 23, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Oct 23 06:14:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/787aze/daily_food_diary_october_23_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 23, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] Tonight is a night I feel like I deserve to be on this sub.
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Mon Oct 23 00:53:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7860uf/tonight_is_a_night_i_feel_like_i_deserve_to_be_on/
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I managed to undereat today, on purpose - this is the first time that's happened in like a month. I know logically we all deserve to be here no matter what, but I do feel like I don't belong as much when I skim this sub after a bad food day. I'm pretty sure some of you can relate, since I've seen posts related to this topic before.
Regardless, I'm really proud of myself. I lose and gain the same 5 lbs over and over, and it usually takes me getting up to my highest comfortable weight to get me into restricting (or even maintaining, lol) again. But not this time! :D Maybe I can finally get into the 120's soon. <3
[Discussion] **Period Talk** - Not underweight (yet) but period EXTREMELY light
/u/slowlydoesit1 [163cm | CW: 56.5| GW1:48]
Created: Mon Oct 23 00:42:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/785z8e/period_talk_not_underweight_yet_but_period/
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Flag as Question/help
My period is now 2 days or less, not bloody at all and no pain and i can barely notice it.
I'm not complaining, I'm just concerned. Since starting to restrict low continuously, this has been the case.
I am also on the combined oral contraceptive pill (and have been for 1 year on this one particular, Brevinor).
Do I need to be concerned? I'm about 10lb above underweight btw.
[Goal] Just hit 120 pounds for the first time in years :)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 23 00:33:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/785y04/just_hit_120_pounds_for_the_first_time_in_years/
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https://i.redd.it/r6zxigm5yitz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Thank you r/proEDmemes
/u/salviaplath_13 [5'1 | CW: 110 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 22 23:50:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/785rmz/thank_you_rproedmemes/
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Today has been pretty shit. All week I restricted hard to get ready for a halloween party last night. And I looked freaking good, and wore a "sexy" costume for the first time! But naturally, drinking lots of alcohol and having so much candy around triggered a 24 hour binge and I've been wanting to die today tbh. I didn't purge which is a win I guess? Why do I sabotage everything smh... but discovering those memes really cheered me up. I was cracking up for an hour straight, and I can't remember the last time I laughed so much <3
[Help] hydrolyzed collagen peptides & appetite suppression?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18| f | 22]
Created: Sun Oct 22 23:32:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/785oqs/hydrolyzed_collagen_peptides_appetite_suppression/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE notice other people's stomachs grumbling when they are fasting or restricting?
/u/AugustusMarius [5'1|CW 200|GW 110|-20|22/M]
Created: Sun Oct 22 23:30:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/785ojc/dae_notice_other_peoples_stomachs_grumbling_when/
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This is a weird thing that I noticed this go round.. hearing my own stomach rumble makes me happy/somewhat self conscious and it's like I'm more in tune to others.
[Rant/Rave] Using breakup as motivation
/u/jiuel1 [5'4"(barely yay) | 122.6 | 20.9 | -12 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Oct 22 23:19:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/785mtq/using_breakup_as_motivation/
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I have been eating trash lately. Ate 5 muffins and then threw up everything. Got in a fight, after multiple breaks just broke it off. I know it'll be harder for me thats the hardest part. Deleted his stuff. I want to use this as motivation to not eat. Just stay in bed and watch time fly by. I feel like shit obviously. Just so appalled by the whole thing and then my first thought is to cut. I fckg hate food right now.
I want to get this out there so I can come back and remember what it really feels like atm. Not worth going back to check on him. I basically admitted purging to that guy and he shrugged it off and changed subject. I wanna try to live my life. And this life starts by fasting.
[Discussion] Goal weight picture thread!
/u/123578
Created: Sun Oct 22 22:20:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/785d6m/goal_weight_picture_thread/
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So the way this works, you say your height, weight and GW (or just goal BMI) and other users at that weight can post pictures of themselves, if they're comfortable ofc
[Rant/Rave] I don't even know at this point
/u/onlysaysNOO [5'3 | CW ??| BMI 15.?|F]
Created: Sun Oct 22 21:40:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78566d/i_dont_even_know_at_this_point/
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I got really really drunk last night. I was throwing up so much I slept in the bathtub. And I'm so brutally hungover that I think I'm actually getting ill. I have a fever and aches and pains everywhere.
And I also started noticing I can't sleep anymore without bruising my hips, arms and legs. Mostly just from my bones jabbing into the bed. Sitting up is painful on my ass and sometimes makes my legs fall asleep.
And the worst part is, I literally can't see any difference. It's like I'm suffering the worst parts without the payoff and it's horse shit.
Guys I'm so lost right now and I just need some support and help.
[Discussion] Fave workouts?
/u/fitisthegoal
Created: Sun Oct 22 21:18:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/785236/fave_workouts/
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So I've recently lost enough to want to add working out more seriously to my day to burn calories and tone my body, what are some workouts you guys love? I have access to a gym, but sometimes I'm too exhausted from restricting to want to do a ton.
[Intro] Hello :)
/u/enigmatichoices [5'7F | 172 | -41 | gw: invisible]
Created: Sun Oct 22 20:51:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/784x4m/hello/
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I don't know what my eating disorder is... or if it's even a real eating disorder... I have had unhealthy relationship with food for a while now. Mostly just eating in extreme excess for several days at a time which was coupled with depression/guilt regarding food. After I would gain weight, I would starve myself for a couple of days until it was gone, but it was impossible to keep up, so I gained a ton of weight. I'm sure you've heard it all before. I can't look at myself in a positive way anymore. I just see fat... obese... failure... I had never purged until today. I ate a spaghetti with some cheese, felt so disgusted with myself and stuck a toothbrush down my throat to rid me of mistake. Whatever. I'm pathetic anyways. It doesn't matter.
I guess that's why I'm here. Things are changing for me mentally and I have been a lurker here in the past and can't get over how positive and non-judgemental this community is. I just wanted to introduce myself. Sorry this is kind of a negative introduction. Just been having a rough day, usually I'm more positive :)
[Rant/Rave] It happened
/u/PrincessOfJupiter
Created: Sun Oct 22 20:45:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/784vwn/it_happened/
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Just threw up blood and I'm headed to hospital. Feeling faint and tired. Don't purge, guys. Don't do it, it's not fucking worth it.
Update: Intestinal bleed. Not life-threatening but they're concerned about infection. Seeing an ED specialist for bn. Going to sleep now cos I'm exhausted.
[Discussion] I purge about 2-3 times per year
/u/ayvyns [5'7“ | 135| 21.14 | -7 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 22 20:18:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/784qu1/i_purge_about_23_times_per_year/
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[removed]
[Help] Considering cancelling my doctor's appointment for tomorrow because I don't want my doctor and the medical assistants to see how much I weigh
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 22 20:12:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/784pp7/considering_cancelling_my_doctors_appointment_for/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Nighttime bingeing
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 22 19:48:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/784l6q/nighttime_bingeing/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I'm a bad person
/u/secretweightloss
Created: Sun Oct 22 19:33:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/784ig0/im_a_bad_person/
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Today I went to a gaming meetup, think dungeons and dragons etc. I was new so was added to a group. In the 3 hours we were there one girl pulled out a massive mcdonald's bag and ate 3 sandwiches and fries, then ate an entire family bag of chips, as well as grazing on the family packs of shortbread and rocky road she brought.
And it made me feel really nauseous and grossed out, seeing someone eat that much food in one sitting, but maybe i'm jealous because the idea of eating like that in public terrifies me. Sorry I just needed to rant because i'm feeling guilty for judging her.
[Discussion] Period returning while restricting?
/u/waywardzero
Created: Sun Oct 22 19:01:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/784c3t/period_returning_while_restricting/
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Hi I’ve been lurking for about a month. I just wanted to ask if anyone else’s period became more consistent as they restricted? I’ve never had regular periods given I’m obese but I’m working on that and have been on and off restricting for four years. Recently I’ve cut calories down to 200-1000 (really depends on the day) if I’m not fasting and have already lost 15 pounds. I’m sorry if this is jumbled or weird, I just thought I’d never post on here.
[Other] Found out an old ~thinspo~ Tumblr user died not too long ago.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW: 141.4 | UGW 105 | 24/F]
Created: Sun Oct 22 18:21:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78445e/found_out_an_old_thinspo_tumblr_user_died_not_too/
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Anyone else remember Siarra Culbertson? One of her old UNs was birdboness or something.
There was a lot of controversy around her morals and actions and whatnot. But she was pretty popular with the edgy thinspo and hula-hooping back when that was starting up. We used to talk sometimes even though I did stay out of the drama. We were the same age and it was around 2010. So fresh out of high school.
Her name popped into my head just now and I looked it up. She passed away in May. I can't find any info on her death, but I figured it was substance or ED related.
I don't know how I feel really. It's just weird to see someone go from your community no matter how fucked up it may be. The ED spaces get very close and it's sad knowing that at least one person will most likely go.
[Other] "Sweetheart, your hair is falling out, you throw up all the time, you bruise like a peach...
/u/justonenon-blonde [5'3" | CW: 115 | GW:98 | 23F]
Created: Sun Oct 22 18:14:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7842ir/sweetheart_your_hair_is_falling_out_you_throw_up/
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...I'm worried you have cancer."
Close, but no cigar! I got a "talking to" yesterday about my health and I couldn't help but laugh. No one else thought it was funny, but maybe yall can sympathize with me haha.
[Rant/Rave] 10 lbs what the fuck
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | shame | idk | ~64lbs | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Sun Oct 22 18:04:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7840e7/10_lbs_what_the_fuck/
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I was at 136. Fucking birthday rolled around and I hung out with people literally every single day since then. I have not had one day alone. Thats eating and drinking every single day since Tuesday and Im up 10 lbs and I want to fucking kill myself.
I remember now why i cant be in a relationship or have friends. Its because im a fat fuck with no self control.
Im going to fast for the next 3 days folliwed by under 500 calorie restriction... i have to undo this damage.
Edit: currently sitting on this guys toilet trying to silent shit because i took laxatives 12 hours ago. They hit about 6 hours later. Thought it was over.... and then got invited out to watch a movie and sleep over with guy then they hit again right as we decided to go to sleep... i shouldve known better.
Bless him and his snoring and heavy sleeping tho 🙂 end me
[Rant/Rave] The salad in the sink? I spilled it.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 22 18:03:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/784075/the_salad_in_the_sink_i_spilled_it/
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[deleted]
[Thinspo] Ive been obsessed with twiggy lately 🎀 60's were amazing, that this was okay to be though of as beautiful, she is so lovely 💜
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Sun Oct 22 17:52:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/783y0c/ive_been_obsessed_with_twiggy_lately_60s_were/
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https://i.redd.it/gdm2igjsygtz.jpg
I've been obsessed with twiggy lately 💜 This is one of my favorites 🎀
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 22 17:49:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/783xh1/ive_been_obsessed_with_twiggy_lately_this_is_one/
---
https://i.redd.it/8wdcn21aygtz.jpg
[Discussion] Does anyone else stay dehydrated to get their lowest weight?
/u/heyimlame [5'6" | Enormous | -132.2lbs | F]
Created: Sun Oct 22 17:43:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/783w3q/does_anyone_else_stay_dehydrated_to_get_their/
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I know this is soooo bad for me, and I want to stop, but I often either don’t drink anything until very late or only drink coffee (to flush out my system) so I can see the lowest possible number on the scale. I’ve been doing this since I was a kid with my ED, and I know that water helps in a million ways but I can’t talk myself into drinking on heavy restricting days. My friend just had to talk me into drinking a cup of water because he’s worried. Ugh. I feel so foolish sometimes.
[Rant/Rave] Well....this sucks
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 151.5 | GW: 118 | -15.3 | F24]
Created: Sun Oct 22 17:41:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/783vq5/wellthis_sucks/
---
Yesterday I unexpectedly had to put my last two rattie babies to sleep. I loved them SO much. These rats were responsible for my not just offing myself two years ago when I got them and was super depressed. I got them ***specifically*** to give me a reason to stick around. I had no warning they would deteriorate so fast. They were okay Friday but Saturday.... Even worse, the vet absolutely gouged me on cost. I paid $982. I'm just so heartbroken. Haven't been able to stop crying.
To make it worse, I haven't been able to stop eating. All day long I've been cooking, eating, eating, eating. I'm working my way through half of a papa johns extra large pizza right now. I'm drinking too. I feel ***horrible*** because my boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic and while he's never said he doesn't want me to drink around him, I'm always very sensitive to his recovery (almost a whole year sober and I'm super proud!) but tonight....i just can't you guys. I don't know what I'm going to do without my boys.
I don't even know why I'm posting this here. I posted last month about losing one of my three and y'all were so kind. Does this get better guys? This pain is just so intense and it's so expensive and I'm eating so much and I'm gonna ruin my 15lbs of weightloss, and I just came off a week of taking care of my 90 year old grandma after her surgery and I just *can't* take this right now guys, I can't. Any advice or anything would be so appreciated. I tried so hard to take good care of my boys and now they're gone and I feel so lost....
Edit: I love you all so much. Y'all are the kindest, most caring group of people and I've read all of your messages and comments and they've helped so much, so I just wanted to say thank you 💜🐭🐭🐭💜
[Rant/Rave] I can't control myself.
/u/audreybelle_
Created: Sun Oct 22 17:10:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/783pdo/i_cant_control_myself/
---
Today started out okay. I went on a 3 mile breast cancer walk, and I felt good about it. I had a McDonalds sausage biscuit before the walk, and thought I could spare 440 calories for one. Then the family decided to go to Golden Corral. And I binged. I ate 700 calories, yet still had a smaller plate than some of my family members. What the hell? Then it got even worse. We went to the movies. I ate 700 calories of M&Ms. I got home, and decided I wasn't going to eat anymore. I lied to myself. I had a donut AND a brownie. 2,400 calories of food today. I want to purge. But I'm not. I don't understand how my family can eat like this on a normal basis? They stay average/thin, and eat like this? Yet I become bloated. Great. I have no idea what to do with myself. I wanted to lose weight for halloween, yet all I've done is eat 1,300 - 1,800 calories everyday this month, and binged. Thank god I'm still maintaining. I'm so lost.
[Rant/Rave] I’m scared- for the first time I’m actually afraid.
/u/AirIWish
Created: Sun Oct 22 17:00:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/783n8d/im_scared_for_the_first_time_im_actually_afraid/
---
I’ve let my binging take over and I’ve gained a fuck ton of weight in the last few months just because I told myself “eating like a normal person is fine”. Trouble is, eating normally means I binge and now I’m here.
My issue is: I’ve had this decision for some time of: if I reach my heaviest weight again, I’m going to be stupidly close to attempting to end my life. I’m 5lbs from my heaviest weight at the moment.
My friend is coming from Wales this week and is taking me and another friend to a buffet. I know I can purge after, I’ll take extra lax and fast the day of and I can take surgery prep lax after, I’m ready. But there’s this part of me that’s afraid of how much I’ll actually eat. I can’t trust myself around food and i can’t see that number again.
I have no idea how to cope with this and for the first time in my life, I’m actually afraid of myself. I can’t be that heavy again, I already hate myself enough.
Also hi;
Edit: I’ve just fucking realised I won’t be able to spend the next day purging since the same friend is dragging me to Ikea. I’m losing my fucking mind and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.
I’m sorry to be a pain, I just have no one else to rant about this sh*t
[Rant/Rave] I am so done
/u/Borderline-Crazy
Created: Sun Oct 22 16:59:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/783n2w/i_am_so_done/
---
Sorry if this post breaks any rules. I'm new to this sub, not new to Reddit. This is a separate account for mental health stuff.
Around 4 years ago, when I was 18, I was very into my ED ways. My lowest weight was 120lbs, but I ended up getting treatment and gaining weight. Since then, I kinda swung from the one extreme of being obsessed with losing weight, to the other extreme of not caring AT ALL.
In the last few years, I've gained about 70lbs.
I was recently looking back at old pictures of myself, and all I could do was cry. I had visible collarbones, a defined jaw, the beginnings of a thigh gap.
How did I let myself undo all my hard work? How did I let myself became an even more grotesque version of myself? How have I been okay with being a walking, talking whale?
I'm fasting tomorrow (it's 12am in the UK right now). If I succumb to food, then I'm throwing it up. I'm going to get back down to 120lbs, and hopefully even lower.
I am so done with being disgusting.
[Discussion] DAE just... not talk about weight or food?
/u/teasnob22 [5'3" | CW: 95.7 | GW: 88 | 17.43 | -22 | F | Vegan AF]
Created: Sun Oct 22 16:23:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/783fr7/dae_just_not_talk_about_weight_or_food/
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I see online lists of signs of an ED and one that always pops up is talking negatively about your weight or discussing calories or whatever and I just.... can't relate lol. I'd rather die than draw attention to what I or other people eat (apart from that one super-bitchy week I had at schoolies sorry friends) or what I look like and whenever anyone brings up food or health etc I actively shut down the conversation.
It just seems like a sure-fire way to alert people to the fact that I have food issues, and that just is not what I want at all idk.
[Discussion] To people who see the doctor for mental health issues: do you tell them about your ed?
/u/thukui [my goal is to be the fat member of a kpop group]
Created: Sun Oct 22 15:52:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78391t/to_people_who_see_the_doctor_for_mental_health/
---
I'm planning to go back to the doctor to treat my anxiety and depression but I'm not sure if I want to talk about my ed.
I still need to lose about 30 lbs so I don't want anyone trying to stop me if I am losing weight? I'm also just embarassed about it. What are your guys's experience?
[Discussion] Feeling insecure with SO
/u/poppybex
Created: Sun Oct 22 15:46:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7837q8/feeling_insecure_with_so/
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Hey everyone, haven't posted in 10 days and those have been 10 days of binging I feel so down. I'm getting back on track tomorrow and will start going gym everyday until I lose a stone. But as usual I've felt insecure with my bf who knows about my ED and who I know actually likes skinny girls which isn't me but I'm working my way there. I feel crappy and insecure because I don't get compliments from him (we are long distance) and it makes me feel like binging lately
[Rant/Rave] I am never good enough to him
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 22 15:23:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7832vz/i_am_never_good_enough_to_him/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] First thing my hookup says after not seeing me for 3 months...also my father is adorable
/u/edthrowawaywhoops [5'9"| CW: 130| GW: Kate Middleton| F|🍑:Whoopsie]
Created: Sun Oct 22 15:15:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78314c/first_thing_my_hookup_says_after_not_seeing_me/
---
I'm waiting for him at the bar and when he arrives he kisses me on the cheek, sits down, and looks me straight in the face and says "Don't lose any more weight! I mean, you look great- But if you lose any more weight you wont". I was deer-in-the-headlights no idea how to respond. I was happy that he noticed I've lost weight (especially since I was sitting down so he mustve noticed it in my face/arms), but also annoyed that he was telling me what to do/what not to do with my body. I sputtered and said "ok...?" and then said something about how I havent actually lost that much (lie) its just that my shirt is a little big for me and since its so drapey it makes me look smaller...
but like...what a weird mix of elation and aggravation. It made me feel hot, and special, and cared about, but also objectified and annoyed that a man would comment on my body like that- idk if he was saying I wouldnt look good anymore because he thinks that would convince me to stop losing, or because he wants me to stay within his preferred body type (which would really tick me off).
Also my dad, bless his heart, has also noticed my weight loss and has congratulated me on multiple occasions and every once in a while greets me as 'skinny girl'....im not underweight (yet) so there's no reason for him to suspect that im engaged in unhealthy habits since i dont live at home anymore, so it just makes me feel so warm and happy every time he brings it up bc i know its coming from such a wholesome, loving place where he is proud of me for achieving what he assumes has been a goal of mine.
[Discussion] discord?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 22 15:08:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/782zls/discord/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] 114 lbs!
/u/fuckingusernamee [4'11 | 115| 23.2| F]
Created: Sun Oct 22 14:57:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/782wxt/114_lbs/
---
I'm finally back down to 114 lbs. I have been 120+ for quite some time now and I really thought I wasn't making progress anymore but I have and I am so happy. I weighed myself as I was making a lean cuisine and when saw the number on the scale I threw away the food and had a glass of water. Thanks for listening to my little happy rant, I just wanted to soak in how good I feel because it won't last because 114 is still really high and I just want to be 97 pounds again.
[Discussion] How do you guys deal with weight gain?
/u/yehetnini [168 cm | 50.7 kg | BMI 18 | 17 F]
Created: Sun Oct 22 14:11:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/782mf4/how_do_you_guys_deal_with_weight_gain/
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So I was stuck in a binge cycle for around 2 weeks and I'm not sure how much I've actually gained but I know for sure I have. I think I look so fat and disgusting when I look at myself in the mirror. I just want to cry.
I don't know which flair I such add this as so sorry if it's the wrong one.
[Rant/Rave] DAE feel like their legs will never be thin?
/u/squishykiss
Created: Sun Oct 22 13:31:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/782d9r/dae_feel_like_their_legs_will_never_be_thin/
---
I know it takes at least 4 weeks to see a real change, but it feels so easy for me to get a flat stomach with proper restriction. However, the fat around my thighs and calves are extra stubborn. I know exercise plays a role, too.
Idk it seems like I'm doomed to have a fat legs
[Discussion] DAE: Plan out what they will eat/how much they can eat once they reach their UGW for maintenance?
/u/thescarletlettergirl [5'3 | CW 105 | UGW 90 | 18 F | ]
Created: Sun Oct 22 13:00:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/782691/dae_plan_out_what_they_will_eathow_much_they_can/
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I'm on heavy restriction eating less than 500 calories a day...and I literally have logged food into my fitness pal for December when I should reach my UGW with all the foods I want to eat now but can't fit into my calorie budget. My TDEE should be about 1,400-1,500 which seems like sooo much food compared to what I let myself have now. Logging it helps me stay on track because I tell myself once I get there I can eat some of the things I've been denying myself for so long. I'm daydreaming about bagels and sushi guys lol.
Does exercising away your calories still count as a fast to you guys? :(
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 22 12:34:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/78208t/does_exercising_away_your_calories_still_count_as/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Just curious
/u/3lectricscape
Created: Sun Oct 22 12:19:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/781wxn/just_curious/
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I purge right after i eat. It never tasted acidic. That helps with my teeth right? Not quite sure how it works. My understanding is that stomach acid damages teeth, but if i purge right after it never got mixed in with all that?
[Discussion] Book update!
/u/thinkthinlythrowaway [5'1.5 on a good day | CW 129.0 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 22 12:19:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/781wxi/book_update/
---
So I wanted to do weekly updates but there isn't really all much to tell so I might do monthly updates instead and change to weekly whenever it starts getting closer to being done.
I'm gonna link to other posts in case you've missed details.
As always you can submit your story to lettersofmyed@gmail.com
Sorry this wasn't as informative or upbeat as before. It's been a struggle this week.
Hope everyone is doing well!
[last weeks update ](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76d9or/were_writing_a_book_update/?st=J932W6FS&sh=0a3cb4c8)
[last last update ](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74w93y/oh_my_god_a_book_update/?st=J932X022&sh=f8657bad)
[original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74uvwx/a_book_with_you_all_maybe_i_have_ideas/?st=J932Y2AY&sh=5eb89c5f)
[Rant/Rave] mini-freakout followed by huge relief
/u/glitterhellion [5'6" | CW: 165lb | GW: 120lb | 21F]
Created: Sun Oct 22 12:15:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/781vyb/minifreakout_followed_by_huge_relief/
---
Possibly TMI. I weighed myself and started to freak because the scale said I weighed two more pounds than I did a week ago even though I've been restricting...I feel a grumbling in my intestines, take a monster poo, and it turns out my bladder was full as well. Now I'm down two pounds and back to normal. A little disappointed that I didn't lose, but SO relieved that I didn't gain. Anyone else experience this sort of thing? Sorry for being gross lol I just feel so much better now and this happens to me all the time since my poo schedule isn't regular anymore.
[Discussion] DAE drink a shit ton of water every day?
/u/Ofca0
Created: Sun Oct 22 12:00:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/781slk/dae_drink_a_shit_ton_of_water_every_day/
---
[removed]
[Goal] I lost 30 pounds in 4 months and I feel pretty goddamn good about it
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 22 11:24:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/781keg/i_lost_30_pounds_in_4_months_and_i_feel_pretty/
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https://imgur.com/a/l38AP
[Discussion] My ED made me a coffee snob
/u/starvingarthoe
Created: Sun Oct 22 11:18:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/781j7w/my_ed_made_me_a_coffee_snob/
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I started drinking black coffee a few years ago because of my ED. And now I'm a total coffee snob because of it. I still enjoy a cheap cup (wawa is life) but I will not and can not pass up a good cup of coffee. Idk I was having a cup and thought it was funny lol
[Rant/Rave] “So it’s just like you!”
/u/cokezeroshill [5'7.5"| 19.14 | GW 99lbs]
Created: Sun Oct 22 11:07:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/781g2t/so_its_just_like_you/
---
I was reading out the definitions of “Bahama Mama” to my sister on Urban Dictionary and one of the definitions was “An incredible overweight and "round" woman of Asian/East Asian/Polynesian/Native American Descent.” So I thought nothing of this until my sister goes “Oh, so it’s just like you!”. Are you fucking kidding me. I know it was a joke, I’m white and I weigh 125 pounds but holy shit am I ever triggered. I hate using that word but there’s no other way to describe it. I guess I’m fasting today.
Grocery haul!! Got my coffee and favorite breakfast: pure air. From fuck food whole foods no foods
/u/xCatsunax [5'5 | 105 lbs | BMI: 17.5 | GW 95 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Oct 22 09:19:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/780rxy/grocery_haul_got_my_coffee_and_favorite_breakfast/
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https://i.redd.it/v2dbix5cfetz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] he kissed someone else
/u/72329b
Created: Sun Oct 22 08:40:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/780jun/he_kissed_someone_else/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Fasting is fucking hard
/u/kittybunny75
Created: Sun Oct 22 08:30:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/780i37/fasting_is_fucking_hard/
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I just fasted 24 hours and I feel like I'm gonna die lmao.... maybe it's because I've been eating 900-1300 calories lately and I have restricted or fasted in forever but I woke up feeling too tired to move and I felt shakey and couldn't see straight. I felt like shit so I ate cereal and bacon now I'm regretting it. Is it because I weigh so less now? I don't even know how much I weigh I could weigh 105 or 98 I don't have a scale xp
[Thinspo] everyone is saying she looks unhealthy now, but i would die to look like her
/u/fatalss
Created: Sun Oct 22 08:18:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/780fu5/everyone_is_saying_she_looks_unhealthy_now_but_i/
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https://i.redd.it/nc8plngg4etz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] A got a job that will pay for my gym. Hell Yeah
/u/skeletonne18
Created: Sun Oct 22 07:44:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7809j7/a_got_a_job_that_will_pay_for_my_gym_hell_yeah/
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So I got an apprenticeship!!! Super happy with myself, pretty much a 3 year guaranteed job (if I get through the 6 month probation lol) and they mentioned I can get reimbursed for a gym membership with their company benefits. I’m so jazzed 😎💕🌈✨ now to decide what gym to go to 🌞😱
MY WEIGHT LOSS MOTIVATIONAL JOURNEY - LOSS 85 KGS 187 lbs I رحلتي في خسارة الوزن
/u/Alisider
Created: Sun Oct 22 07:40:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7808zu/my_weight_loss_motivational_journey_loss_85_kgs/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okazW32nIlk&t=54s
[Other] Since we talk about poop a lot.....
/u/Ladybeeortoise [5'6" | 109 |17.5 | GW: 105 | 34]
Created: Sun Oct 22 07:26:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7806h9/since_we_talk_about_poop_a_lot/
---
https://i.redd.it/01rb1vz1vdtz.jpg
[Help] shaky during a fast
/u/Really_Rizzoli
Created: Sun Oct 22 06:16:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77zvow/shaky_during_a_fast/
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how do you calm yourself when you're in the middle of a fast and become shaky? I am planning on fasting today but i usually get jittery by the time i go into work, and i would like to stop it so i am not tempted to eat a whole baguette or french fries.
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 22, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Oct 22 06:11:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77zuzs/daily_food_diary_october_22_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 22, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your latest grocery+food hauls!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Oct 22 06:10:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77zuyv/sunday_share_your_latest_groceryfood_hauls/
---
Feel welcome to post pics of your latest and greatest hauls~! Consider adding commentary on:
* what country you're in
* what store, site, market or Co-op you shopped at
* how much you spent or any sweet deals you found
[Goal] This collarbone made me happy today
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 22 06:09:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77zur1/this_collarbone_made_me_happy_today/
---
https://i.redd.it/d9szxpschdtz.jpg
[Other] Louis Theroux will be doing a documentary called "Talking To Anorexia" on Sunday 29 October at 9-10pm on BBC 2
/u/lunamoon1 [165.5cm | cw: 98lbs | lw: 93lbs |19f]
Created: Sun Oct 22 05:36:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77zqc1/louis_theroux_will_be_doing_a_documentary_called/
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http://www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/proginfo/2017/44/louis-theroux-anorexia
[Rant/Rave] People are starting to notice but not SO
/u/2017HeyJude
Created: Sun Oct 22 04:44:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77zjt8/people_are_starting_to_notice_but_not_so/
---
[on mobile, please flair as rant/rave]
So, I’m living with my boyfriend and have lost a bit of weight these past few months through restriction (can’t purge, never could, and I guess that’s a good thing actually). But A/ I don’t really ~see~ it, in the sense that I still feel huge and even though the numbers decrease and my clothes are getting baggy, I don’t feel I’ve gone far enough and B/ my boyfriend hasn’t commented at all.
So I tought I was just being a bit dramatic over my food issues, but lately other people, that I hadn’t seen in a few month, commented on my weight loss. His mum told me I lost a lot and asked if I was okay, and yesterday a girl friend told me I had “dropped so much” and also asked if I was ok.
And I just realized: he sees me every hour of the day (we live and work in the same place), that’s why he didn’t notice the weight loss. And also my boyfriend has such disordered thoughts on eating and his own body himself (always thinks he’s too fat, asking me how much calories are in such food, and then ordering lots of junk food... a total mess), he doesn’t even realize how bad I am, he’s just focused on his own thing. Just this week he asked what I wanted for lunch and I said I’ll just have a soup and he had anxiety over what to eat himself and said “eating is so easy for you”, I almost cried (spoiler alert: it’s not. It’s not fucking easy, I’m scared of eating). And yesterday he was set on making Mac and cheese for us and asked if it was okay for me because it was probably going to be fat and high calories (so he does notice I’m careful around food). So I dunno. I think being with him and his own disordered eating is really not helpful for me right know, but since I don’t want to get better yet... I’m conflicted.
[Rant/Rave] My family are going to notice!
/u/noidea744 [5'3| CW 110.8 | BMI 20|F]
Created: Sun Oct 22 03:42:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77zckb/my_family_are_going_to_notice/
---
I've genuinely only just realised that at some point my family, friends ect are going to notice my weight loss. It's only been a few months since I relapsed and with my boyfriend I've only lost like 10 lbs so it's not noticeable yet. Once they do start to notice I'm hoping that I can blame exercising for my knee issues and eating healthier. I'm an adult, I'm 24 they can't do anything about it right? All the can do is worry and complain so it will be okay, I just can't go too low :/
[Intro] intro post
/u/paper-soap
Created: Sun Oct 22 03:22:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77za9d/intro_post/
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hello!
ive been mostly a lurker on this sub but heres my formal introduction
you guys can call me soap, i've been struggling with ed for a few years now (i have recovered and relapsed multiple times)
h: 5'2
cw: 106
gw: 90
ugw: 80
[Help] the binge aspect
/u/101_honey [🌼5'1.5" / cw-2fat // wl-n/a (yet) // bmi-29 // gw-101]
Created: Sun Oct 22 01:41:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77yz3k/the_binge_aspect/
---
so ive been like 90% successful in stopping purging but how the fuckity fuck do i stop binging. i mean ita never been the wild binges ive heard about, but 300(+) over my tdee is driving me mental. im overweight according to bmi and i physically feel like in some places im wearing a fucking fat suit. how do i stop eating more than i want when im not hungry?????? fucking shit im so tired and i dont wanna go back to purging my teeth feel scary
(x post from /r/bulimia because lets be real i love yall so much more and honestly this is the best ed help place ever)
[Other] I only have half my intestines... And it makes my stomach flatter.
/u/PixTheFairy [5"0 | CW 124 | BMI 23.6 | Weight Lost 30lbs | UGW 90lbs]
Created: Sun Oct 22 01:38:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77yyps/i_only_have_half_my_intestines_and_it_makes_my/
---
You know you have a morbid obsession with your ED when you realise that even though you're at the TOP of the "healthy" range of the BMI scale, you're happy you have a flat stomach nomatter what the reason.
I don't have amazing abs. I don't do 10000 situps. My stomach is just flat because I only have half of my intestines left after a car accident when I was 17.
Yeah I have a huge scar but I actually think it's kinda gnarly. When I hit my UGW I'm gonna get a tattoo over it.
Doesn't help my thunder thighs though FML. 😑💩😵
[Rant/Rave] lessons from binging
/u/seawardwaves [5'8" | cw~132 gw~115]
Created: Sun Oct 22 01:33:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77yy75/lessons_from_binging/
---
had a really shitty binge this evening. took about two hours to get out of the crazy foodfrenzy where i just want to put everything in my mouth bc i *literally* cannot stop myself.
i ate
* a ton of leftover french fries
* a bunch of cheezits
* two giant bowls of cereal
* some zucchini bread
* a shit ton of skittles
and now i have some reflections on that. i'm trying to take this as a learning experience and not get too upset. it happens. ^((fuck me though goddammit why did i have to binge like this))
* don't fast for 60 hours. for me, at least. i ate a ton of candy wednesday night, then fasted until this morning. tried to break my fast with 300 calories of oatmeal and grapes. which spiraled into binging by the end of the day. ugh.
* just bc i hit a new lw doesn't mean i can 'reward' myself with trigger food. for dinner tonight i told myself i could get fish and chips from this place near me which would be some 700 calories, bc i did my longest fast and lost 2.8 lbs. i didn't realize how much of a binge triggering food fried stuff is apparently.
* skittles are my perfect binge food bc i eat them super slowly. can eat like only 200 calories worth in an hour.
* cereal is the worst binge food, bc all my family ever has in the fridge is whole milk, and cereal is so calorie dense. the calories build up so fucking fast. had 2 large bowls for like 600 calories. dear god.
* as much as i want to fast tomorrow in response to this, i can't. i'll end up binging again tomorrow night. just need to get back in the habit of regular restricting. gonna keep it under 600 tomorrow, if not less.
[Discussion] Anyone else have a shitty family situation?
/u/raz563 [5"11 | GW: 120lb | Female]
Created: Sun Oct 22 01:14:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77yvu6/anyone_else_have_a_shitty_family_situation/
---
Being an introvert, I've been thinking a lot.. about whether family situations create self esteem issues that can lead to EDs.
I'm not really referring to parents who were obsessive about food (that one's pretty obvious) - more like general abuse of any kind.
I think To The Bone touched on this too.
I don't expect anyone to reply to this as it's kind of personal but just wondered if anyone had any info on it? Could just be a stupid theory though.
[Help] Best Quest Bars?
/u/cloudsofdawn [169cm - 5'6.5' | CW: 119.9lbs | 19.1 BMI | -23lbs | F]
Created: Sun Oct 22 00:19:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77yp7y/best_quest_bars/
---
So, I am obsessed with chocolate chip clif bars but I have wanted to experiment into other protein bars I may enjoy. Clif bars to me (chocolate chip) are just like having a treat, I absolutely love them.
I know there’s a lot of popularity in quest bars, so I tried one. I tried the Chocolate Brownie flavour but honestly didn’t like it.
I was wondering what quest bars are the most popular and what you guys recommend, or other protein bars you think I may enjoy ! Thanks
[Other] I just purged seriously for the first time and I don't know how to feel
/u/annan4 [5'4.5" | I hate myself| 18F]
Created: Sun Oct 22 00:10:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77yo1q/i_just_purged_seriously_for_the_first_time_and_i/
---
I after never being desperate enough I guess finally resolved to start purging. I had been trying to do it for the past week but couldn't ever really get anything out, but this time I just kept going but it was slow and disgusting. I honestly feel so bad right now but I think its only because I know I didnt get everything out. I'm sad because I feel like this is the start of a downward spiral that will only result in weight gain, but I know now that I've done it I'll probably do it again. I just don't know what to do anymore.
[Goal] My cascading calorie limits
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 21 22:59:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77yeh4/my_cascading_calorie_limits/
---
https://imgur.com/K06CPsN
[Help] Alli/Orlistat experiences?
/u/tootiredrn [5'4" | CW 160.6 | -9.4 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 21 21:13:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77xx84/alliorlistat_experiences/
---
[removed]
"The best girls are slim thick."
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 21 21:08:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77xw95/the_best_girls_are_slim_thick/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Please someone tell me that they do this too??
/u/ummyeahokay [5'5" | 116 | 19.5 | -32 | 28F]
Created: Sat Oct 21 20:36:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77xqrz/please_someone_tell_me_that_they_do_this_too/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] What keeps you accountable?
/u/whitelilac29
Created: Sat Oct 21 20:33:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77xqak/what_keeps_you_accountable/
---
I always say I'm going to do something, then i forget about it and I don't do what I wanted to do and then I feel guilty. Like I want to fast tomorrow and then for the rest of the week try to only eat my safe foods, but I don't want to either forget and eat something or make a bad decision and overeat. Do you do anything specific to remind yourself of your goals and keep yourself accountable?
[Help] Eating late at night
/u/ceillman
Created: Sat Oct 21 20:13:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77xmtm/eating_late_at_night/
---
So basically I'm just wondering what the effects of eating right before bed really are. I'm super paranoid about it and can never eat anything substantial close to when I'm going to sleep, but hypothetically, if you were to fast all day everyday and only ate right before bed would this have any effect on weight loss??
[Intro] A short intro
/u/floweredfox [5'1" | 2fat | F]
Created: Sat Oct 21 20:03:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77xl62/a_short_intro/
---
welp, I'm a 2nd year uni student who's been struggling hard with off and on phases of binging and restriction for the past 4yrs or so. Been lurking for about the past 2 years, posting veeery infrequently for the past 1. Also very briefly used peach. But anyways here's an official hi from me. hello!
[Rant/Rave] Broke after three months
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 21 19:25:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77xeio/broke_after_three_months/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Do any of you have an Instagram account just to follow thin girls/proed accounts
/u/crazylama13
Created: Sat Oct 21 19:05:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77xaz4/do_any_of_you_have_an_instagram_account_just_to/
---
Because I definitely do
[Rant/Rave] first day in a week that I haven’t purged!!!!!!
/u/cokezeroshill [5'7.5"| 19.5 | GW 99lbs]
Created: Sat Oct 21 19:02:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77xaee/first_day_in_a_week_that_i_havent_purged/
---
I’m so proud honestly. I still ate too much but despite that I didn’t throw up a single time today AND I went to the gym. Fuck yeah.
[Thinspo] 💨
/u/squishykiss
Created: Sat Oct 21 18:49:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77x867/_/
---
https://i.redd.it/yyhtfmp04atz.jpg
[Discussion] do you ever feel like your disorder is okay because at least you're healthier than the norm (over-indulgence) ?
/u/lists_n_shits [5'4" | CW 113 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 21 18:29:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77x4n9/do_you_ever_feel_like_your_disorder_is_okay/
---
Yoo I know my mindset and obsession with food / weight is not healthy. But still I tell myself- "At least I care, this is way better than the opposite!! At least I make an effort to fight the constant bombardment of over indulgence."
Idk I think our disorders are a reaction to modern society. It's so easy to be obese these days. And it's so hard to have control without it becoming obsessive.
But then again I'm legit afraid of eating normally, because I'm sure my normal healthy weight hovers around 115 and at that weight my thighs look so fat and gross.
[Discussion] I walk like a fat person
/u/Ladybeeortoise [5'6" | 109 |17.5 | GW: 105 | 34]
Created: Sat Oct 21 18:08:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77x0lt/i_walk_like_a_fat_person/
---
So my co-worker and I were walking out of the break room when she said to me “You walk like a fat person. You’re not fat. You just walk like you used to be or something. What the fuck does that mean?! Should I be offended? I am too confused !!!🤷♀️
[Rant/Rave] Barista put sugar in my tea. I seriously considered purging it.
/u/OriginalJokeGoesHere [170cm | GW 45kg | 🇨🇦 ♂︎]
Created: Sat Oct 21 17:46:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77wwmg/barista_put_sugar_in_my_tea_i_seriously/
---
One of these days I'll learn that Starbucks has the syrup as default in their iced teas... Honestly, at most it was 130 calories and I drank like half of it, but I still considered purging it after I realized it had sugar in it.
This is what I get for drinking anything I guess.
[Discussion] Anyone ever tried CLA?
/u/AugustusMarius [5'1|CW 200|GW 110|-20|22/FTM]
Created: Sat Oct 21 17:13:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77wqhe/anyone_ever_tried_cla/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend getting tired of me
/u/monikaro11
Created: Sat Oct 21 17:05:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77wost/boyfriend_getting_tired_of_me/
---
On mobile, flair as rant
So yeah. I'm mostly a lurker here but now I really need to get this off my chest. And since I can't talk to my bf about it and I don't have any friends I'll post to my favourite sub.
We've been together for like a year and a half. I've lost like 20lbs in that time. When we started I was umm "normal". I had episodes of disordered eating before, but like 2 years before that. Now my ED is undeniable and comes in waves. He notices. He gets worried and says I'm a totally different person, that I zone out when I restrict. Also I cry alot and I have sudden mood shifts when I completely cut him out,. When I do that I feel kinda repulsed by him (I know that sounds horrible and I always regret it but still). I've lost all my interests and sex drive. I don't know what to do to be more like myself again. I can't stop restricting now, I'm not far from my Gw. He doesn't like skinny girls tho. I know he likes thick girls and that hurts even more (BMI 19.5 and far from thick). I feel like I'm such a letdown. Also I cut myself for the first time in years and I'm really really scared of the conversation we'll have when he notices. I can't talk about my feelings so when he tries to start that subject I become such a bitch I feel sorry for him.
I'm at my family's home for the weekend (student life). I see him tomorrow and I don't know how to feel about that. Part of me wants to be with him all the time and the other part just want to feel sorry for myself and not think about anyone else.
That rant probably didn't make much sense but I needed to write it down to clear my head I guess. It's the middle of the night, I can't sleep, barely ate in last few days. Ughhg why is this so fucking difficult?????
[Rant/Rave] How many of y'all only have junk as safe food? And how many of you guys get told you don't have an eating disorder because you eat said junk?
/u/TheThirdCloneOfXyxl
Created: Sat Oct 21 16:10:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77wdvy/how_many_of_yall_only_have_junk_as_safe_food_and/
---
I swear, people keep telling me there's no way I struggle with food. "All you eat is chocolate/cake/pudding!"
Well...yeah. Cause that's the only food I'm comfortable eating you twit.
I'm getting so tired of being told I can't possibly have an eating disorder because I don't eat healthy.
Doesn't matter that I consume less than 400 calories a day most days, no. What matters is that those calories are chocolate! The horror!
Me losing over a quarter of my body weight in 3 months and being well on my way to underweight isn't important because I eat cake!
Ignorance at its finest. If I'm brave enough to tell someone close to me about a serious problem, I think I at least deserve a little understanding. Not flat out disbelief and having my diet made fun of. Guess that's too much to ask for. Rant over.
Tl;dr: Just cause I choose cake over lettuce doesn't mean my struggles aren't valid. Picking cookies over vegetables doesn't magically make people with eating disorders "cured".
[Discussion] What would be the starter pack for proED?
/u/flapTigerWild
Created: Sat Oct 21 16:10:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77wdr2/what_would_be_the_starter_pack_for_proed/
---
Need some ideas :)
[Discussion] Does anyone else have a really idealized way they imagine eating once they reach their gw?
/u/analeonhardt [💎 5'2.5 | CW 121.6 | GW 107 | 28F]
Created: Sat Oct 21 15:27:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77w5a0/does_anyone_else_have_a_really_idealized_way_they/
---
I kind of obsess over mine. My life won't be dictated by food anymore. I will eat three meals a day with maybe one snack if I need it. I will eat mostly veggies, beans, nuts, and seeds. I will eat fruit occasionally if I am craving something sweet. My meals will be small, but nutritionally dense.
[Thinspo] I’m back.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Sat Oct 21 15:17:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77w3aj/im_back/
---
https://i.redd.it/kg793k2929tz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] My coworkers jokingly asked me if I ever eat and it was the best thing ever
/u/champu-petal [5'6" | CW: 111 | HW: 152 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 21 15:13:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77w2ec/my_coworkers_jokingly_asked_me_if_i_ever_eat_and/
---
we were all drinking and everyone else got fries except for me, and when one person asked if i wanted anything, the the others chimed in and said i never really eat anything. i don't think they suspect anything, but it made me feel sooooo good
of course, i went home and binged on pretzels dipped in bbq sauce so there's that
[Goal] Starting next paycheck, 600 calories Keto.
/u/Ahhhhhh_Real_Fattie
Created: Sat Oct 21 14:57:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77vz0n/starting_next_paycheck_600_calories_keto/
---
I used to be real active here but my account got discovered. But anyhow. I am feeling extra super fat. I hate everything. I am going to do this like my paycheck. 600 calories a day. 4200 a week maximum. I gotta get moving down down down.
[Rant/Rave] I'm so upset
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 87.8lbs | BMI 16.06ish | GW: 87lbs | 20F]
Created: Sat Oct 21 13:49:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77vks5/im_so_upset/
---
i'm in Virginia this weekend to see my dad. I've had to eat at maintenance so far for the past two days. I can see my body getting fatter. I can feel my stomach bloating. I can see my thigh gap getting smaller and my chest bones getting less visible.
I'm pissed and upset and feel absolutely disgusting.
I have a doctors appointment set up for Monday and I'm so scared that I'll have gained so much weight over the weekend that they won't take me seriously. I don't want them to think I'm at a BMI of almost 17. That doesn't feel low enough.
I feel so horrible and I don't want to gain weight and I don't want the doctor to think I am just making this problem up or something
Idefk. I know I need to recover. My family was basically horrified at "how thin I am" and all I can see is a disgusting pile of fat.
Just needed to vent. I'm really struggling.
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend is keeping me from being underweight
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Sat Oct 21 13:16:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77vdpq/my_boyfriend_is_keeping_me_from_being_underweight/
---
First I want to say how annoying I feel with my posts on here and this account is solely used for this sub. I have to keep myself from posting all the time cause this is always on my mind, but I feel annoying. You guys are just the only ones who understand obviously and I want to talk to other people about these struggles.
Anyways, I realized recently that my boyfriend is the only thing keeping me from going to the extremes that I want to- like fasting for more than 24hrs and eating only a couple hundred calories. He explicitly told me the other day that he would not let that happen. We live together and work together and eat together (we do IF most days and only eat at night anyways) so it’s not like I can say I already ate or something cause he will definitely not believe me. It’s frustrating because I realized if I was by myself I would be able to go much longer without eating and restrict much more, especially because we like to go out a lot and that makes it super hard to restrict.
This isn’t to say I don’t want to be with him though. He is the kindest most understanding person I have ever met and listens to me constantly talking about my weight and eating or crying because I don’t want to eat or because I gained weight. He is amazing and so supportive, I don’t deserve him.
I just think how much I could lose if I was by myself ugh 😑
Currently sat in a restaurant with friends ruining everyone’s time.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 21 13:07:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77vbul/currently_sat_in_a_restaurant_with_friends/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] DAE not know why they starve themselves?
/u/fuckwit_charlie [5'2 | 84 lbs | BMI: 16.24 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 21 12:39:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77v5qc/dae_not_know_why_they_starve_themselves/
---
I don’t know why I starve myself but I do. I don’t think I’m overweight, but I want to be skinnier. I know it’s unhealthy but I do it anyway. It’s a compulsion and I don’t know what motivates me to do it, or why it keeps resurfacing. DAE feel the same way? I feel like if I could pinpoint the reason, I’d be halfway to understanding it.
[Help] feeling faint/dizzy
/u/guccieyebags
Created: Sat Oct 21 12:26:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77v2po/feeling_faintdizzy/
---
i prefer to restrict/fast bc i have sm trouble purging. im fine w being slightly dizzy but feeling faint gets to me, im already low on quite a few vitamins (i do take them though). does anyone have any tips on feeling a bit more energetic whilst fasting? i know it sounds dumb but i just want to ask anyway :(
[Rant/Rave] Had a customer at work make a remark to me about my weight the other day.
/u/lunaceres_ [5'3 | 117 | 21.30 | -11 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 21 12:14:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77v09g/had_a_customer_at_work_make_a_remark_to_me_about/
---
So I work for a department store as a supervisor. The checkout lines got pretty nuts the other day so I hopped on to help get them down. So this older couple, probably in their sixties I'd guess come up to check out. I make the obligatory small talk and I notice the wife is like, giving me this squinting side eye sort of maneuver and is just staring at my body. So this is how the conversation goes.
Her: "What are you, like a size (guesses number higher than the size I actually wear)?"
Me: "Uh, well, not really sure, haven't bought new clothes in a bit..."
I'm basically trying to awkwardly play it off knowing full well what size I wear. But she doesn't let it go and continues squinting at me.
Her: "Tell the truth. Do you eat?"
Me: ".......yes."
Her: "Do you exercise?"
Me: "Yes."
Her: "That explains it then!"
So I mean part of me is insulted because she was rude as hell but part of me is kinda stoked random strangers are asking if I eat so I mean hey, I'll take what I can get?
[Rant/Rave] Hard work pays off + any indoor exercising ideas?
/u/xCatsunax [5'5 | 105 lbs | BMI: 17.5 | GW 95 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Oct 21 11:58:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77uwo4/hard_work_pays_off_any_indoor_exercising_ideas/
---
Hard work really does pay off. I'm 5'5 and reached my (what I like to call) happy weight 105 lbs. It's been kind of hard to find ways to exercise because the weather is so 🚣♂️🚢⛈🌦🌧🌦🌦🌦🌪🌫🌫🌫💧💧💧💧☔☔ shitty. Don't have the money to join a gym. But 10 more lbs til my ugw. But even now I feel so sexy and like I don't mean to brag but I was standing in my underwear last night like fuck who needs clothes, not you. Anyway xD I feel good. Just need to exercise somehow. Any ideas?
[Goal] Binged all week, gained five pounds. But I've got a plan, and plans fix everything.
/u/Guilty_Treasures [5'3" | 105 | 19.5 | GW1:99 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 21 11:46:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77uu4t/binged_all_week_gained_five_pounds_but_ive_got_a/
---
DEAR DIARY (which is code for boring, self-absorbed rambling ahead, get out while you still can),
I'm back, bishes. Knew I would be. I missed restricting, but luckily^^killme I've binged for exactly one week and gained five pounds that I can now diet off again. (It's weird to change mindsets
so extremely from one day to the next. Like eating oatmeal made with eggnog on Friday but stopping yourself from accidentally licking a spoon on Saturday.) Anyway, I was a hard-earned 104 before the binge week, and this time around I'd like to see if I can get away with 100 without raising any worries or suspicions among loved ones (layers, anyone?). I'd also like to gently incorporate some fitness stuff into my routine and raise my calories accordingly as I go. I always have a hell of a time trying to get my restriction goals and my exercise goals to play nicely together, but here we go again.
For me at least, seriously half the fun of restricting is the planning and organizing, so I banged out a food and exercise plan through the end of November, with a side goal of developing more consistent and disciplined habits. And hey, if anyone wants to join me with the exercise plan, please do! The more the merrier. In addition to some stretching and walking, I'm going to do six old-school pilates workouts that I used to do long ago during a successful restricting period. They're set to music, and I'd like to try setting the same exercises to a playlist of my own, both so I don't have to rewatch the videos every time and so I can listen to my own trashy kpop. Each video is about ten minutes, here they are:
[1. full body](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWQtEfZMTB8)
[2. core](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZNbJw8t0gQ)
[3. upper body](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bBk2oidYvE)
[4. butt](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LLFHwI3SJM)
[5. legs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHfe0rG_THk)
[6. full body again](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRCIX3cdW34)
**Week of 10/22 - 10/28**
* Daily calories: 800 (penance for binge week, not that it'll come close to undoing that damage) My basic food plan for 800 calorie days is [here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77t0a5/daily_food_diary_october_21_2017/dooryp0/)
* Daily exercise: full body stretching routine [based on this,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fztE4mK7C0) which shouldn't be affected by restricting.
**Week of 10/29 - 11/4**
* Daily calories: 900
* Daily exercise: stretching routine + one pilates video. Throughout the week, add another video every other day for a total of three.
**Week of 11/5 - 11/11**
* Daily calories: 1000
* Daily exercise: stretching routine + four pilates videos. Throughout the week, add another video every other day for a total of six.
**Week of 11/12 - 11/18**
* Daily calories: 1100
* Daily exercise: stretching routine + all six videos
**Week of 11/19 - 11/25**
* Daily calories: 1200
* Daily exercise: continue stretching and pilates -- add ~3 mile walk at least 4x a week, every day if possible.
I'll probably re-evaluate at this point; if I like it, I could keep going as long as I want. I may do more calories if it's not enough to get me through the workouts, or fewer if I'm not losing weight the way I want to. I also want to run and lift weights! But I would have to eat enough to be able to run and lift weights! But I also want to be stick thin! Any time I think too hard about my conflicting goals, my head starts to spin, so I'll try to just focus on the next five weeks and see how it goes. Wish me luck!
[Rant/Rave] Been ill and eating way too much as a result
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5'4" | 125 | 21.4 | GW: 115 | NB]
Created: Sat Oct 21 11:27:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77upl4/been_ill_and_eating_way_too_much_as_a_result/
---
I know being ill is no excuse for me to eat as much as I have done:
50g~ of sushi rice, 3/4 bowl of soup with 4 slices of toast so far today
Large boneless banquet KFC, 5x forkfuls of chow mein and seaweed and about 10 chips from a chinese and a quarter of a large bar of chocolate yesterday
A salted caramel brownie and a large portion of homemade katsu on Thursday
Honestly I feel so shit because on top of that I've been drinking fanta, hot chocolates with cream and to make myself feel better tea with lots of honey in because I've had a sore throat and a cough.
Time to step on the scales and see how much I've gained ((((((:
Update: now 127 which isn't a lot but even so, fuck being ill
[Rant/Rave] Thank You
/u/shortyaten
Created: Sat Oct 21 11:21:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77uoc6/thank_you/
---
You guys give me more inspiration and a community that I can connect on a whole new level and feel welcomed.
[Rant/Rave] Found out my bf was cheating on me our entire relationship.
/u/Panda_Melody [5'5 | CW: 129.0| BMI: 21.72|HW: 168 | LW: 108 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 21 11:02:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77uk77/found_out_my_bf_was_cheating_on_me_our_entire/
---
Ya self explanatory.
Found out my bf was cheating on me pretty much our entire relationship.
The girls he was cheating on me with were fucking huge.
And I just don't get it.
Like I'm not trying to be an ass. But. Damn.
Like they are actually overweight. Borderline obese.
And I'm just over here like, started at 167 when we first started dating and now I'm 120 and I guess he was only into fat chicks sooooo.
Ya but good news is he's gone I left his ass and moved back into my moms for now till I find a new place.
Aaaaannnnd I haven't eaten since Sunday. So that's almost a week long fast. So I've got that going for me. I've lost 5.8 lbs.
I feel totally fine. So I guess I'll just keep going till I feel not ok and then I'll eat some soup or something.
Hurray for water, Powerade zero, and self loathing.
[Rant/Rave] DAE get like..scared to eat after fasting?
/u/z0mbabe [5'7 |175lbs | F| 🍑z0mbabe]
Created: Sat Oct 21 10:32:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77udq4/dae_get_likescared_to_eat_after_fasting/
---
I’ve been doing 5:2 fasting all October and it’s worked well for me but I’m finding it harder and harder to convince myself it’s ok to eat on the weekends? My stomach has shrunk and I get full easily and here’s no way I’ll even eat at maintenance but I keep thinking I’m going to ruin my progress of the week even though I know it’s physically impossible.
Does anyone else do this? I literally get through my fasts by planning my weekend meals and looking forward to them and then I’m too scared to enjoy it :/
[Help] fasting tips?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 21 09:42:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77u33g/fasting_tips/
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[deleted]
[Other] GUYS. LOW CALORIE VEGAN DESSERTS 🍪🍰
/u/Banana-Ghost
Created: Sat Oct 21 09:26:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77tzun/guys_low_calorie_vegan_desserts/
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http://www.vegannie.com/recipes/15-amazing-low-calorie-desserts
[Rant/Rave] Finally lost weight after years of maintenance!
/u/cuttoarose
Created: Sat Oct 21 09:15:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77txfo/finally_lost_weight_after_years_of_maintenance/
---
Yesterday after a rough workout, I knew it was finally time to see how much I weigh since school started. My school boasts about their high tech gym equipment, but their lack of a digital scale ANYWHERE was definitely frustrating lol. Call me an annoying millennial, but those old fashioned sliding scales just don't cut it. So I had to group chat my dorm to see if anyone had a scale, only slightly awkward. One girl did, so I whisked it away to my room and..........
I've lost EIGHT pounds since school started! I've been stuck at maintenance for years guys, and have been wanting to productively lose weight the whole time. Its finally, finally happening.
[Discussion] Preventing hair loss?
/u/qu1et1
Created: Sat Oct 21 09:08:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77tw3q/preventing_hair_loss/
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Is it possible to prevent hair loss? How?
I have naturally very thick hair, so I never lose ALL of it. But it gets wayyy thinner and it bothers me. Not to mention how much of a pain it is to have to pull hair out of the shower drain all the time.
So yeah anyway I think I’m starting to lose hair again. My mom commented on it, too. Not sure if it’s ED-related or hypothyroidism-related, though. (I have low thyroid hormone levels, but my TSH isn’t high enough right now for medication to be helpful.)
Would eating more protein help? I tend to eat a lot of carbs lol
[Intro] Hi, I'm currently an overeater, and I've been having anorexic thoughts... I think I'm gonna go through with it, this time.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 21 08:56:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77ttbn/hi_im_currently_an_overeater_and_ive_been_having/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Coke Zero? Will i gain?? HELP!
/u/whatsename
Created: Sat Oct 21 08:48:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77tryv/coke_zero_will_i_gain_help/
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I keep hearing mixed messages about coke zero, on the one hand i know it’s really popular with the community for a zero cal and filling drink. But i keep hearing about how soda/soft drinks, even diet ones, make you gain weight and are really fattening!! is this true? is my coke zero actually a safe food?! If you know anything about this please comment, i’m so anxious about what i’m doing when i drink it now. I’m relying heavily on 0 cal fizzy drinks to stay under my 600 cal daily intake, could they be the reason i’m not losing much weight?
[Rant/Rave] My longest fast to date!
/u/Anonymous_MM [5'2"| CW 140 | BMI 26.5 | GW 110 | 19F]
Created: Sat Oct 21 08:40:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77tq7v/my_longest_fast_to_date/
---
Some background: I have pretty much no willpower, and my daily fasts (IF) last on avg 13h (w/ a goal of 16). I attempt 800 cal a day, but usually end up around 1,000 with some purging. Basically, I’m shit at restricting.
HOWEVER, I just had my wisdom teeth extracted and had to fast 12 h prior. That, along w/ the nausea and fatigue after helped me go 34h 40m!
While I know it’s not very long for a lot of people, but for me it’s a really good fast. So, I’m... a tiny bit proud? 😅
[Goal] 98lbs today! Lost 19lbs in nearly a month
/u/lunamoon1 [165.5cm | cw: 98lbs | lw: 93lbs |19f]
Created: Sat Oct 21 07:30:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77td7o/98lbs_today_lost_19lbs_in_nearly_a_month/
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After a very shitty day yesterday(Found out I have to go back to IP on the 30th... a month and 5 days after I've been discharged - must be a new record right on how quickly someone can replace lmao), this has slightly cheered me up plus I'm eating under 200 calories a day and not even feeling hungry( *might* be due to the fact I drink so much water/diet drinks/tea
I know that I'll have to gain in IP but my brain's logic is "Might as well lose as much weight as possible before you're forced to gain weight".
[Discussion] Baby you're so vein ;)
/u/midsummerbird
Created: Sat Oct 21 07:30:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77td6w/baby_youre_so_vein/
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I know most of us love us some pronounced collar bones, but does anyone else think that visible veins have this certain aesthetic to them?
When I started losing the veins on my arms started to show way more and I must admitt I really like that look. Even though - or maybe even because?!- it can look a bit "sick" (as in arms are too thin).
I also always found visible veins in guys to be super attractive, especially in forarms and hands.
However I also know that some people are quite the opposite. A friend of mine told me she finds veins weird and a little disgusting. 🙈
What do you guys think? I cannot help but being fascinated by them :)
(sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language)
[Discussion] October 21st, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 21 07:03:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77t8ck/october_21st_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What word did you recently learn?
[Discussion] My favourite thing about losing weight
/u/scoutthlostgil
Created: Sat Oct 21 06:59:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77t7qo/my_favourite_thing_about_losing_weight/
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I recently started working in a pub, I was losing weight before I started there and the two other girls there are kinda cubby so I feel v skinny in comparison to them.
When the pub is crowded I love being able to easily slip in between people while walking around, it makes me feel so small I love it. Does anybody else get really happy feeling like they’re small enough to fit in smaller places?
I also had this thing at uni the other day when I had to go in between two chairs and I was like “I can’t fit” but then I could fit with no problem!
I also really love my jeans feeling really baggy, I’m rambling but my jeans are basically falling off me all the time now.
Conclusion! I’ve been 6ft tall sins I was 14 WHICH IS REALLY WEIRD FOR A GIRL so it was hard to find cloth that fit and I’ve never had this feeling of being small. But now I’m starting to get it and I love it :)
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! October 21, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Oct 21 06:10:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77t0gk/stupid_questions_saturday_october_21_2017/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for October 21, 2017.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 21, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Oct 21 06:09:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77t0a5/daily_food_diary_october_21_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 21, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] never happy with my weight
/u/daisyhands
Created: Sat Oct 21 05:55:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77syb1/never_happy_with_my_weight/
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so last october i was 142lbs.
this october i am 103lbs
i could've lost more but obviously suffering with EDNOS, i also binge A LOT. i told myself i'd be happy when i was 120lbs and i wasn't. at 120lbs i told myself i'd be happy at 105lbs and i wasn't. now at 103lbs my goal weight is 95lbs and i don't know if i'm going to be happy with that :(( it's just really deflating when you hit a goal weight and feel good and proud of yourself for a day and then the next day you're back to pinching your fat and heavy restricting :(
[Help] Anyone heard of Clenbuterol?
/u/thunderbirdandspice [5'10" | 136 | 19.5 | -10 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 21 03:24:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77sfyt/anyone_heard_of_clenbuterol/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Will this never end
/u/elliebearrrr [F21|5'6"|HW:190 SW:175 CW:148]
Created: Sat Oct 21 02:13:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77s84k/will_this_never_end/
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This time last month I was my lowest weight ever. Since then I've been on the worst binge of my life, literally every day I've gone over my calorie goal and most days over maintenance.
I've put on 10lbs of the 30 I lost over summer and I feel like absolute shit knowing I could be so much thinner by now, I'm so hopeless
I'm not even hungry anymore, I just eat for the sake of it
Gonna head out to the gym now and try to fast all weekend.
I'll probably ruin it but I guess I'm posting here for some accountability!
Hope you all have a lovely weekend x
[Rant/Rave] How to successfully fast for more than 24 hours:
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 21 00:20:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77ruqh/how_to_successfully_fast_for_more_than_24_hours/
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[deleted]
[Other] Where can we find this old gypsy man!?
/u/aetolica [5'4" | F | 31]
Created: Fri Oct 20 23:35:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77rooj/where_can_we_find_this_old_gypsy_man/
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https://imgur.com/a/duscG
[Goal] I just realized I'm out of goal clothes.
/u/LunaticalPitties
Created: Fri Oct 20 23:34:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77rojx/i_just_realized_im_out_of_goal_clothes/
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All the skinny clothes I've been keeping in my closet for years, all the things I've bought to motivate me to keep going, they all fit. Now I have a closet mostly full of clothes that are too big. I still feel fat. I thought once I got to a size 2, everything would be fine. A part of me knew that was just my disordered brain lying to me. It'll never be fine. I'm never going to be good enough. I'm convinced the size 2s and extra small tops are all just mis-labeled or vanity sizing. Like none of it is a real size 2 or xs or else I would be as little as that girl I met today. I feel like I'm literally twice her size.
[Discussion] Morbid Fascination
/u/wretchedscandal
Created: Fri Oct 20 22:39:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77rgng/morbid_fascination/
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So I'm rather... Pale. *Cough* Pasty. *Cough* When I'm quite thin, my skin is almost transparent and my veins become prominently visible. I've been inordinately interested in (okay, obsessed with) their appearance forever-- I used to trace them with colored pens in math class. Purple was my favorite. Yes, in retrospect, I understand completely why people found me off-putting. Anyway, I was just "casually noticing" how much better I can see them lately, and it occurred to me that I've devoted incredible energy to disappearing myself. Take up as little space as possible, whittle down to bones and sinew, literally *turn myself see- through*. That's super fucked up, right?
[Help] How am I not gaining weight?
/u/vintagetimetable
Created: Fri Oct 20 22:38:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77rgl1/how_am_i_not_gaining_weight/
---
After eating 500-1000 calories for about 3 months, with exercise, and losing 15 kg, and maintaining my weight on 1000 calories, my parents have started making me eat around 2000 calories everyday, with no exercise.
Yet, when I weighed myself today, 14 days later... I've lost a pound? How did this happen? I'm eating so much.
[Help] Weird Question
/u/whimsicalfae776 [Height 5'3 | CW 103 | HW 120 | LW 90| "GW" 108]
Created: Fri Oct 20 22:26:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77repu/weird_question/
---
This is going to sound really weird and I swear on my life that I'm not one of those tumblr girls who swears up and down that they identify as fictionkin or something in that vein- but does anyone else feel like they don't look like themselves? Like your body doesn't match your mental image of your body? This isn't in a dysmorphic way, I don't think I'm ugly at all or that people won't like me. If anything, the way my "inner self"(idk what else to call it) is *less* attractive than how my body looks. I've taken a lot of non-weight related steps to make my outer-self match my inner one, and each time I did my self confidence boosted significantly(cut & dyed my hair, redid my eyebrows entirely, wore compression sports bras to flatten my chest, etc.). Right now, I feel like I'm really, really close to achieving "myself." I don't really want to call it dysphoria, because it's not gender related and I am very certain that I am a woman, but I can't think of a better word to describe it. I've done research into things like BIID and a lot of the feelings that they were having resonated with me. However, I'm not transgender, and my 'inner self' isn't disabled. I'm just wondering if anyone else feels similarly, because I've never seen anything like this discussed anywhere.
[Rant/Rave] I used to be thinner.
/u/sewnp [5'6"/CW:FAT/UGW:99/NB]
Created: Fri Oct 20 22:14:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77rcyl/i_used_to_be_thinner/
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I used to be thinner. I used to be able to stand sideways in the mirror and like what I saw moreso than my front view.
I used to exercise everyday, not even a lot. Fifty sit ups at least every single day and it helped me be thinner.
I used to walk everywhere before agoraphobia took its hold on me and plagued my mind. I lost twenty lbs in ~two months just from walking and doing sit-ups.
I used to be moderately happy with my body when I used to be thinner.
tl;dr: I started trying to get back into my old exercise routine(s) that I found helped me the most back in the day and alas my depression still hinders me. I would walk 2-4 miles everyday or 4-5 days a week and then do 50 sit ups everyday. My favorite is reverse sit-ups bc I do tend to carry my weight on my lower stomach. I GUESS WHAT I’M getting at here is I’m gonna try to get back on track to be happy with myself. I want this to be a hold me accountable post so if I fail there are ‘Consequences’.
163lbs today. Fasting 12-24 hours tomorrow. 400 calorie max after fast.
[Other] 2,100 calories and i am still hungry
/u/til_wednesday [5'8" | CW: 110 lbs | GW: 100 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Oct 20 22:10:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77rcbi/2100_calories_and_i_am_still_hungry/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Hit my goal weight yesterday, binged today - I’m not even a little bit mad, y’all.
/u/alwayssoclose
Created: Fri Oct 20 21:22:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77r4ha/hit_my_goal_weight_yesterday_binged_today_im_not/
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Have been restricting pretty heavily for a few weeks and have noticed the “need to refeed” for a couple of days now.
Figured I’d make it worth it. Finally had an alone night with my pre-teen daughter. Sooo... We talked over steak and twice-baked potatoes, watched scary movies with popcorn, laughed about middle school woes over cookies - and, I gotta tell ya, it was so worth it.
I didn’t log much of it in MFP because I know the final calorie count will throw me into panic mode. Gonna try to stop myself from stepping back on the scale for the next day or so (for the same reason). But for one night I felt normal - a tad gluttonous - but almost normal nonetheless.
It’s not going to “fix” anything per sé, but I’m so happy we did that. She hears me talk about healthy choices enough... Letting my guard down for a night prompted her to drop hers and we bonded in a way we both needed.
Crazy part is, I don’t hate myself. I’m not scrambling to guess calories or going for a late night run - I’m happy with the decision.
[Tip] Why doesn't anyone discuss Skinny Cow??
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Fri Oct 20 21:11:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77r2me/why_doesnt_anyone_discuss_skinny_cow/
---
I can never find Halo Top in my town, but I found this brand Skinny Cow.
120 calories per ice cream.
[Rant/Rave] Today I did the most ridiculous thing.
/u/translucentbutterfly [5' | 116 | 23.86 | oh look who regained everything]
Created: Fri Oct 20 20:47:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77qyrb/today_i_did_the_most_ridiculous_thing/
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[Rant] I tend to binge when I travel. Like. A lot. So I did my best to prepare. Woke up and blended a nice carrot/apple juice. Opted for plain green tea from the airport cafe. Declined a beverage on the plane.
But then.
Then the flight attendant offered that fucking snack. A caramel filled wafer I've been wanting to try. I was completely caught off guard. It was only 130 calories, though. So surely it couldn't hurt? Got a black coffee to pair and nibbled away. And it was delicious. So delicious that i felt guilty. So what did I do?
I WENT AND PURGED THE GOD DAMN COOKIE IN THE AIRPLANE BATHROOM.
Since then I've purged: at Starbucks, at the conveyer belt sushi place, and the boba place aaaaaaand i sucked down a bunch of water and purged in a random mall bathroom JUST BECAUSE. Happy vacation to me.
[Help] Can’t stop vomiting
/u/cokezeroshill [5'7.5"| 19.5 | GW 99lbs]
Created: Fri Oct 20 20:26:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77qv58/cant_stop_vomiting/
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I don’t know how to gain control over my eating anymore. Almost everything I eat gets thrown up out of guilt. I threw up 5 baby carrots today, that’s like no calories but nope! Doesn’t matter! Plus 90% of the time after I eat ANYTHING it turns into a binge. The only safe foods I have anymore are Coke Zero and water. If anyone has any advice I would kill to hear it because at this point I’m desperate.
[Rant/Rave] I feel like such and failure and I'm annoyed, agitated and just really tired.
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Fri Oct 20 19:28:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77qku4/i_feel_like_such_and_failure_and_im_annoyed/
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In one month I've lost no weight. I understand my periods are due next week, but it's still rather devastating. I just feel like such a failure. Do I eat less? Do I eat more? Do I work out more? Do I fast? I don't know. It makes me so angry.
I whoosh and lose weight and then I slowly just go back to my plateau. I just want it to stop.
[Other] Tumblr?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 20 19:00:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77qfip/tumblr/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Little Rave Post
/u/13959470 [5'4" | 109.4 | 18.8 | ~30 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 20 18:58:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77qf7m/little_rave_post/
---
Two things this week:
- three different people in the last 2 days have told me I look like i'm a size zero
(One was my boss fitting me for a new uniform, he asked my bitchy coworker what size shirt she wore and when she said "um, small?!" He turned to me and said "ok so you're an Extra Small then." >:) he didn't mean to be rude he's just clueless. I shouldn't be happy if she got offended but hehe I am )
- I'll be underweight for the first time if I lose 2 more lbs , I just found out at my last doctors appt that I'm an inch and a half taller than I thought I was. So even tho I ate too much today I'm getting somewhere, hooorray
[Rant/Rave] “She’s not skinny”
/u/andareavante
Created: Fri Oct 20 18:35:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77qb4i/shes_not_skinny/
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So I was hanging out with my brother and some of his friends, one of which is a girl who has a pretty huge crush on me. And the topic of my body came up, my brother said something along the lines of “she’s the only skinny one in the family”
And the girl who has a crush on me goes “first of all, she’s not skinny. She’s thick, so jot that down”
And like. UGH. I haven’t been this hurt by a statement in so long. Like I know it was meant to be a compliment or whatever, but oh my god. I’m absolutely miserable now, and trying to keep myself from just spiraling into self-hatred, because I’m NOT skinny, and I’m fucking destroying my body to BE SKINNY and everyone seems to want to remind me that I’m not there.
Like yeah, my brother thinks I’m skinny. But my brother is also obese and so by comparison, to someone who probably doesn’t have such horrible dysmorphia, I’m a rail. And now I’m just stuck sitting here thinking “thick thick thick” and I never want to fucking eat again.
[Rant/Rave] Feeling guilty I can’t restrict
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Fri Oct 20 18:08:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77q5vu/feeling_guilty_i_cant_restrict/
---
I see all these posts here about people who can fast for days and eat like 500 cals a day and it just makes me feel like crap about not being able to go below 1200. I ate normal for a couple days this week and my weight is steady 3 lbs higher than usual and to fix it I told myself I would not eat or only eat 300 cals this weekend. Now that it’s that time I am craving my usual 1200 cal meal but I just feel so shitty because it is going to take me forever to reach 110 then 100 eating 1200 cals a day (Not to mention the few free days I give myself each week because i love this time of year and want to be able to eat like a normal person)
I’m so jealous of all of you who can restrict so low and lose a couple lbs a week.
I’m trying to tell myself that it’s bad to go that low and I’ll be happy in the long run that I don’t let my disorder get that bad but I can’t help feel frustrated with myself.
What is peach?
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Fri Oct 20 17:09:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77ptyt/what_is_peach/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] my body is a twit: today's rant
/u/fuck_you_get_pumped [65" | 120lb | 20.20 | -20lb | 22A]
Created: Fri Oct 20 16:33:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77pmcs/my_body_is_a_twit_todays_rant/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] How long did your last binge episode last?
/u/mina1200
Created: Fri Oct 20 15:39:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77pahg/how_long_did_your_last_binge_episode_last/
---
Please make me feel better. Currently going through one since Wednesday. Have been eating nearly 10,000 calories every day and i can't. stop. my whole shower + bathroom smell of puke. I feel like a disgusting piece of fat trash.
[Help] low calorie soups (not canned)
/u/band-aide [5'6 | CW: 125 | SW: 140 | F/18]
Created: Fri Oct 20 15:35:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77p9di/low_calorie_soups_not_canned/
---
i need soups that i can quickly just heat up in the microwave. what brands taste good and are low calorie? i want to order those millie’s savory teas but they’re so expensive ):
[Tip] For those cravings...
/u/ssfbgm
Created: Fri Oct 20 15:06:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77p2vq/for_those_cravings/
---
Hershey’s chocolate syrup is only 45 cal per serving. Drizzled it onto some coconut milk ice cream and had a nice low cal dessert (would be lower on halo top!)
mobile can’t flair
[Discussion] Anyone else use Vora?
/u/cokezeroshill [5'7.5"| 19.5 | GW 99lbs]
Created: Fri Oct 20 14:57:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77p0qq/anyone_else_use_vora/
---
My username is plantsrcool, add me!
Surprise inspo...
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Fri Oct 20 14:42:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77oxcr/surprise_inspo/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] It took me forever to realize how I lost so much overnight
/u/Afriendlyhumanbeen [5'6 | CW: 137 | BMI: 22 | GW: 120 | 22F]
Created: Fri Oct 20 14:42:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77ox6q/it_took_me_forever_to_realize_how_i_lost_so_much/
---
Usually on a good day, I'll be 0.6 lbs lower than the day before. Today I woke up and weighed myself, only to see that I'd lost a whopping 2.2 lbs! I've never come close to losing that much over a single night! Either way it put me in such a great mood and I spent the day being super chuffed with myself.
Then lunch time swung around and I was rolling up my sleeves past my elbows to make food, and all of a sudden I became aware of this pressure around bicep and it totally hit me.
Blood. I donated blood yesterday.
So apparently a pint of blood weighs just under one pound, meaning that I probably only lost 1.2 lbs from actual weight loss. So even though I still came down, I'm a bit disappointed that it wasn't as much as I'd originally thought. Either way, I did have an odd chuckle at how long it took me to realize this.
TL;DR: Want to see the numbers on the scale go down fast? Donate blood!
[Help] App or website to make face skinnier?
/u/TacosGetMeThrough [5'4|28F|SW: 183|CW: 165|GW: 120]
Created: Fri Oct 20 14:31:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77ouje/app_or_website_to_make_face_skinnier/
---
I realllllllllly want to see what my face would look like if I was skinnier that way I can look at it when I want to binge or eat but I have never found a way to do it. This is the skinniest I ever was so it's not like I can use old photos -_- just figured I'd ask
[Help] i need some help understanding body dysmorphic disorder
/u/zz2823
Created: Fri Oct 20 14:23:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77ossz/i_need_some_help_understanding_body_dysmorphic/
---
i just want to know if this disorder actually makes you physically hallucinate that you look different than you do,
this might sound like a really stupid question but i just feel that my reflection directly correlates with my skinny/fat behaviour like to the point where i think ill look skinny and ill order food and the second ive ordered it its like i look at myself 5 seconds later and i look so fucking fat and then once ive vomited as much as i can ill look at myself and i swear my face will look skinny again it happens literally from one second to another and its not bloating either like ill look at my face and look so fat or so skinny i honestly dont know what i really look like and if everyone thinks im really fat or not my friend told me she hasnt noticed any weight change in me but she could just be saying that, i dont know if this is just like either me being too hard or easy on the exact same looking body or if this disorder really distorts the way you look at yourself
[Rant/Rave] I will pull all of my remaining, thinning hair out if I get one more eating disorder fetishist message
/u/MymlanOhlin [5'5" | CW: 140,6 lbs | 23,4 | WL: 22 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Oct 20 14:14:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77oqqg/i_will_pull_all_of_my_remaining_thinning_hair_out/
---
What the hell is wrong with people?
[Rant/Rave] Was super happy to find out I hadn’t gained the weight back I lost...cue binge.
/u/demonofequality [5'5"| CW: 125 | GW: 115 | 21.05 | -25 lbs| F]
Created: Fri Oct 20 14:09:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77oph2/was_super_happy_to_find_out_i_hadnt_gained_the/
---
Literally laughing at myself my entire lunch as I stuff my face.
I was so determined to get to 125 pounds since I had been just sitting at 127 for so long. I successfully restricted super hard for two weeks and hit my goal. Then of course I drank too much alcohol over the weekend and was back to 127 by Monday.
Queue total freak out the whole week only to weight myself this morning and see I’m at 125.0 😑
So the logical thing to do today is to eat pizza AND chili for lunch.... wtf .
[Rant/Rave] I’m so fucking upset
/u/cokezeroshill [5'7.5"| 19.5 | GW 99lbs]
Created: Fri Oct 20 13:58:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77omkx/im_so_fucking_upset/
---
I have no control over myself anymore. This summer I was underweight for the first time in years and I was ecstatic. Eventually though something in me snapped and I was back to my start weight by the end of the summer. Since then my weight has fluctuated by 10 pounds but I can’t seem to gain the control I had before again. I can’t even look at myself anymore. I binge eat every fucking day and throw it up right after like 5 times a day followed by me going to the gym for 2 hours and then crying myself to sleep because I haven’t lost enough weight. I just want to fucking die. I’ve got nothing anymore. If I can’t lose 10 pounds by the end of November-no, scratch that, 15 pounds- I’m going to kill myself. I don’t know what to do anymore.
[Intro] New here just looking to not feel so alone
/u/AugustusMarius [5'1|CW 200|GW 110|-20|22/FTM]
Created: Fri Oct 20 13:17:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77od25/new_here_just_looking_to_not_feel_so_alone/
---
hey nice to meet you all. 22 y/o trans man here. during my first year of college i was into calorie restriction w/ safe foods and i dropped so much weight. gained it all back and then some from binging and not purging and used a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms to pretend to be ok with myself. now i'm obese, i can't stand to look at myself in the mirror anymore. please don't judge me for my weight, i already feel awful. i feel so out of control... anyone relate?
[Rant/Rave] Finally got a whoosh!
/u/dbk1982 [5'2" 35F |SW 215 | CW 208 | LW 140| UGW 115 ]
Created: Fri Oct 20 12:41:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77o4fi/finally_got_a_whoosh/
---
I’ve been losing slowly for the last several weeks. Going either up or down 1-2 lbs per week. Then for three days this last week I was pooping every time I went to the bathroom. Idk if I had been constipated or what but I ended up losing 4.5 lbs this last week! I’m so close to being under 200 again. I just bought some new clothes to fit me at my newer weight 🤗
[Help] The stir fry is calling to me :(
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 20 12:26:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77o0tj/the_stir_fry_is_calling_to_me/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I'm so effing mad
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Fri Oct 20 11:58:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77ntnn/im_so_effing_mad/
---
I ordered a fuckton of sugar free mentos gum and they got delivered while we were packing and they are missing. I could order more but it will take 2 biz days to get here and I needed them for this weekend because it's the only way that I've been able to stave off binge eating when stoned. I'm so pissed. Idk which of my roommates took them or where they went because ive hardly been home and I needed these. Fuuuuuuck. Fuck.
[Rant/Rave] Feel like a failure
/u/xCatsunax
Created: Fri Oct 20 11:20:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77nkj4/feel_like_a_failure/
---
Sorry this is gonna be a little long so bear with me. Been feeling really down lately. The depression could be caused from a number of things like the meds I'm taking or not enough iron or something. I don't have a reason to feel so sad because things in my life are so good. I got married and got a good job. I feel like the key to feeling better would be just eating some nutrition.. But then I look at my thighs in the fridge reflection and I can't even think about opening the door. By the end of the day when I think back to what all I've eaten it seems like plenty and probably too much. Yesterday I had a handful of cheezits, soup broth, a couple shots of whiskey and then lettuce with cheese that I ended up throwing up. I'm fucking cold and going to the bathroom all the time so I feel like I'm getting somewhere. But I know I'm not even close to being "anorexic" because I got my period a couple days ago. Which pissed me the fuck off. Ed my ass. Plus, i know im healthy because people with an ED are skinny. maybe I haven't restricted enough or am getting my calories somewhere else that I'm not keeping track of. I know in the end when I see results it's worth it. But the fact that I don't find joy in the things that once made me happy is so hard. I'm unmotivated and frankly discouraged. I mean what's the point anymore.
[Rant/Rave] My ED is making me resent a colleague and hate myself
/u/toadally-grody [174.5cm / 47.3 / 15.2 / maintaining / F]
Created: Fri Oct 20 11:08:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77nhfk/my_ed_is_making_me_resent_a_colleague_and_hate/
---
I cycle to work and another girl in my office has started cycling too. There is no reason for this to affect me but it does. I am upset that I no longer have the monopoly on physical exertion and now I feel like I have to eat lots less than her rather than just a bit less than everyone else, like usual.
I am on exercise restriction (apart from cycling) and didn't go to a class that I otherwise would have done last night. I can't go to my weekend classes tomorrow or Sunday either, and I got public transport to work today because I'm having a weekend away straight after. I enormous. This girl was talking about Body Pump this morning and I am SO JEALOUS that I can't make myself feel good by doing these things anymore. I TOTALLY resent her that she can but I know this is really unfair.
If recovery is meant to be so good then why does it feel so shit??
[Rant/Rave] Forgot Lunch, Guess I'll Just Chew and Spit
/u/aeroplanessky
Created: Fri Oct 20 11:01:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77nfrv/forgot_lunch_guess_ill_just_chew_and_spit/
---
Ugh, I'm so mad at myself. I've been very consistent at always packing exactly a 100 Cal (light yogurt and a couple pretzels) meal for lunch, because I skip breakfast, work, and though I have to eat some dinner with my boyfriend in the evening, I can't get through work without something.
Today I forgot my lunch at home. My work has a lot of snack foods for free around (pop, chips, candies, etc), and, since Im always scared I'll give in and eat them, I panicked after not seeing my food. I decided instead to go out (Arby's) so I could order some bullshit and then chew it and spit it in the bathroom.
I feel so gross. I hate not knowing exactly how many calories I've eaten (since it's impossible not to a get a few calories when c/sing . On the plus side, I got to taste some of my favorite food. Idk, I'm always surprised chewing and spitting isn't more popular here.
Idk. Sorry for the gross talk, but I just needed to rant.
[Help] Are EC Stacks supposed to make you feel hungry?
/u/Rickticia [5'2| 143.6 lbs |27.21|-6.4|GW1: 131| 20F]
Created: Fri Oct 20 10:58:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77nf7d/are_ec_stacks_supposed_to_make_you_feel_hungry/
---
I mentioned on 🍑that I bought Bronkaid for the first time earlier tonight. I took half a pill (25mg ephedrine) with 100 mg caffeine (in pill form) at 9 am, but I was still getting hunger pangs at 11 am, so I took the other half of the pill and another 100 mg.
Is this supposed to happen? What's going on? Any help is greatly appreciated.
[Rant/Rave] It's my birthday next week
/u/Ohh_Jamiee
Created: Fri Oct 20 10:24:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77n74o/its_my_birthday_next_week/
---
edit: can't flair, on mobile
and I always have some kind of weight I'd like to reach by then. But also, anytime I set a goal I end up doing the opposite. Fast for the day? Nope, we are going to eat everything. Workout everyday? Nope, don't even look my equipment for a month. Whyy??
So anyway, this year I'm pretty close to that goal (that I didn't really set because I know I'd just balloon up). It's a few pounds away and I know I can do that by next Thursday. I guess I'm kind of waiting for the self sabotage to start haha
Anyone else like this?
[Rant/Rave] GP appointment
/u/fuckwit_charlie [5'2 | 86lbs | BMI: 16.29 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 20 10:03:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77n21u/gp_appointment/
---
So I’ve had some bloods taken and they’ve come back fine. I’ve had my BP done, and it’s fine. But apparently my BMI is dangerously low (15.6 according to the old style calculator) - if that’s the case, surely my bloods and BP would be fucked by now? I understand that severe thinness is an issue, but scaremongering isn’t going to shock me into recovery, it’s just going to piss me off.
I only went to the GP to see if they would increase my anxiety medication - instead, I’m getting an urgent referral to the community mental health team (which knowing the NHS will take about 6 months) and I’m no further forward in getting an increased dose, which would probably be more helpful than some shite CBT/talking therapy that I’ve already tried.
Why is the mental health system in this country such a joke?
[Rant/Rave] Lowest weight ever, and just in time for anniversary trip
/u/throwaway002300 [25 | 5'3" | CW 109 | BMI 19.3| GW 103| HW 160]
Created: Fri Oct 20 09:54:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77mzow/lowest_weight_ever_and_just_in_time_for/
---
I think I’m still in shock over this? I had been at a plateau of 108 for several weeks. Then I dropped to 105 for a few days and for the past 2 days I’ve weighed in at 102. (!!!!) Guys, this is the lowest I’ve ever been and this weekend is a big trip. My husband and I are heading to the beach to celebrate our 2 year wedding anniversary- we’re really excited! (Side note- I was 135 on our wedding day so it makes this even more fabulous)
[Discussion] October 19th and 20th, 2017 Questions of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 20 09:44:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77mx82/october_19th_and_20th_2017_questions_of_the_day/
---
Sorry y’all, lol.
19th: what was your last credit card purchase?
20th: who do you count on?
[Discussion] The only thing that has ever motivated me. I love him ❤️❤️ (even tho it hurts)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 20 08:48:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77mk14/the_only_thing_that_has_ever_motivated_me_i_love/
---
https://i.redd.it/r0hn31cwzzsz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Intermittent Fasting
/u/RedxLoaf [5'7" | 158lbs | 40lbs Lost | 24F]
Created: Fri Oct 20 08:27:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77mf8w/intermittent_fasting/
---
I've been really good for the past couple of weeks about not eating until 1-2pm, but these past two days have been binge city. My boss' girlfriend made carrot cake the other day and I felt pressured to eat it (even though I'm vegan and haven't had dairy or eggs in 5 months, needless to say it went right through me). I also binged on delicious salted tofu that night. And even yesterday night I had so much food...
All in all, I can make my weekly goal if I fast until dinner tonight, and then eat 1200 for the next two days.
The thing is, anytime I put a goal like that on myself, I do whatever I can to sabotage it. Idk why I do this. Why can't I just keep my own promises? It's like I deliberately go out of my way to eat even when I'm not hungry.
I guess I'm writing this to keep myself accountable.
[Rant/Rave] I just realized that whatever goal I have won’t be enough.
/u/sickmarmaladegrandpa
Created: Fri Oct 20 08:24:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77mek1/i_just_realized_that_whatever_goal_i_have_wont_be/
---
I started heavy restricting a few months ago, at about 128 pounds. I have always had ED tendencies (extreme guilt when eating, hating my body, not truly knowing what I look like) and got down to 117 pounds the summer before, but I was triggered to start again when I got a really bad infection and couldn’t keep anything down and lost about 5 pounds. It brought back something ugly inside of me.
I am 5 foot 7. My goal was to be under 120 to start with. Once I hit that, I thought my ultimate goal would be 115 pounds. That’s the standard goal for a lot of people around my height who want to be thin and wispy. Sure enough, I hit 115. But after a while, seeing 115 on the scale disgusted me as much as seeing 128. Now, I flutter around 111-113. Some days, I’ll cry seeing 113 on the scale. My current goal is 110, but I know I won’t stop after that. I look at my body in the mirror and see the same body I saw when I was at my highest weight of 135. Even though I’m fully aware of all this, I can’t stop myself and break the cycle. I don’t really think I want to.
Sorry, had to get all this out.
[Goal] A different type of "goals" post
/u/CannonEyes
Created: Fri Oct 20 08:13:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77mbtz/a_different_type_of_goals_post/
---
https://imgur.com/h0VSSyY
[Rant/Rave] I feel like everyone in my family has disordered eating, yet I'm the only one who gets called out for it.
/u/thescarletlettergirl [5'3 | CW 108 | UGW 90 | 18 F | ]
Created: Fri Oct 20 08:12:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77mbq6/i_feel_like_everyone_in_my_family_has_disordered/
---
I have diagnosed anorexia and bulimia and my family is constantly onto me, but yet I seriously feel like a lot of them are disordered. They project their disorder thoughts and behaviors onto me and it triggers the fuck out of me. My grandfather was a binge eater (obsessed with food and constantly eating he was obese he passed away from type two diabetes a few years ago because of his weight). My grandma eats super unhealthy and has no concept of proper diet. She constantly overeats and eats nothing, but junk and eats just to eat when she isn't even hungry. When I was in recovery she would say "I'm eating too much" when I was following my meal plan. She eats "small portions" of frozen pizza and regular soda and her "small portion" is like 800+ calories meanwhile my meals were healthy. Obviously, I was eating for my body under the supervision of a dietitian and I have never been overweight (other than having baby fat at as a kid more on that later) unlike her.
My mom was an obsessive dieter growing up who would constantly call herself fat and stress eats and comfort eat. Since my parents have been divorced she just eats whatever...because she doesn't have my dad telling her to lose weight and calling her fat. My mom even admitted that she purged in college and when she was married "but it wasn't a big deal she definitely didn't have an eating disorder." Yeah because making yourself puke is normal non disordered behavior...At the dinner table if she or I got a piece of bread my dad would ask us if "we really needed that."
My dad used to be overweight, became an obsessive dieter and over exerciser who projects his disorder onto anyone. In public he constantly calls people fat, called my mother fat, made fun of me as a kid for being fat and pushed me to start dieting at 11 fucking years old. He thinks carbs make you fat, constantly brags about his running routine, and knowing I have anorexia will tell me to watch my weight, so I don't get fat again like I was as a kid. In public he loves to comment about how disgusting overweight people are. When I got out of treatment I was eating a potato and he said "you're going to get fat if you keep eating carbs." My family constantly comments on my figure and after years of nagging at me to lose weight as a CHILD they now scream at me telling me I'm too thin, yet also tell me to watch what I put in my mouth.
I know I got these habits from them because of them. I am terrified to gain weight because of my dad because I think that people will think I'm fat and comment on it. I see food in such a negative way and I can't help but think they're partially to blame.
[Rant/Rave] I finally see something! Sometimes at least.
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 63.4 kg | BMI: 23.6 | -20.1 kg | 21F]
Created: Fri Oct 20 07:57:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77m8h9/i_finally_see_something_sometimes_at_least/
---
So I have a really terrible time looking in the mirror because I constantly see myself with the 83.5 kg that I started with, although I lost 20kg already.
BUT!
I was finally able to feel a little smaller today! Today I went grocery shopping, and I wore leggings with sneakers (I hate sneakers, they make me look short snd chubby) and I looked ok? I didn't look skinny or anything (obviously because I'm still at 138lbs) but I finally looked smaller and somewhat attractive in my sport wear. The point is: I didn't look fat.
I know this feeling won't last long but I decided to enjoy it and share it as long as it lasts.
I hope you guys had a nice day so far!
[Help] I can not wake up and I'm scared (crosspost r/ bipolar)
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Fri Oct 20 07:47:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77m6fy/i_can_not_wake_up_and_im_scared_crosspost_r/
---
I set 15 alarms on two different devices and have a Fitbit vibration alarm set. It's not simply the " I don't wake up I'm tired, it's early" it's that I literally do not wake up. I woke up soooo late last week one day but early enough to call out sick. Today I didn't wake and had to call in and let them know. I made it in asap but am petrified every night to go to bed. I am so passionate about my job and I am just humiliated. My ED has become my life to cope with bipolar and my pure self hate. It's the only stability but who knows. I made a doctors appointment just now. I feel so hopeless and honestly want to not exist. I hate my life.
[Other] Craving pickles?
/u/princesss-dae
Created: Fri Oct 20 07:35:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77m3z1/craving_pickles/
---
Okay, so I've always liked pickles. Dill pickles. Lately though, it's like I need them. I don't know if it's the salty, or what. My b/p cycle has been out of whack lately, so maybe that has something to do with it?
[Discussion] finally got peach!
/u/mikey-way [5'3 | 121.2 | 21.5 | -10 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 20 06:48:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77luhp/finally_got_peach/
---
[removed]
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! October 20, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Oct 20 06:12:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77lo8j/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for October 20, 2017.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 20, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Oct 20 06:12:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77lo85/daily_food_diary_october_20_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 20, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Help] Can someone help me understand how the hell I gained 5 lbs in 2 days? It's not adding up to me
/u/naughtyhotty [5'7.5 | CW:130 | BMI:20 | GW:115? | -8]
Created: Fri Oct 20 05:29:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77lh4f/can_someone_help_me_understand_how_the_hell_i/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] So incredibly frustrated
/u/Pitaia [1.70cm | CW: aaaHHAHA | BMI: ? |GW: S M A L L]
Created: Fri Oct 20 04:16:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77l70y/so_incredibly_frustrated/
---
This is more of a venting post. I have nobody else to say this to. I just don’t know what to believe. What tells me I’m thin? Is it other people’s comments or attraction to me? Do I even want to be fuckable (I do and don’t)? Comparing myself to every single person I see? Or is it how my clothes fit; vanity sizing is everywhere. Can I trust the scale? I can’t trust my eyes I know that for sure, but still the mirror haunts me and photos are even more discomforting. One of the things I like about “thin” is the objectivity of it. Beauty is relative and all that.
Thin is a fact. It’s objectively possible that I can be the thinnest person in a room. It’s just one of the reasons I’m like this but now I’m lost and don’t know anymore. I gain weight and people tell me I’m too thin still. Not 2 or 3kg. 10kg. About 22 pounds. That’s ridiculous. Then what was before? Do I look better now? Because I hate myself more than ever.
I don’t care. I do not care about your opinion on my body. However, the variables are just getting to be too much now. I’m confused and overwhelmed and all I want is my old body back; nevermind that, I want thinner. Further, because I can always do better. I just don’t know what the finish line is anymore. I’m skeptical that it even exists.
My life has become a house of mirrors, the ones at carnivals that are ironically named “funhouses”. I have never been so disgusted by my body and feel like I’m going insane. It’s a shame really, everything else in my life is finally acceptable or maybe even good. Such a shame.
[Rant/Rave] There’s no way I’m not fat.
/u/commtra [5'7 | BMI: 20 | GW:100 | -44 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 20 02:16:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77krnl/theres_no_way_im_not_fat/
---
Keep lookin in the mirror and thinking, “I can’t even be in the average range, my thighs are touching.” It’s like I see either obese or thin, depending on whether my thighs touch or not. No middle grounds exist.
Okay, rant over.
[Rant/Rave] Maybe this is goodbye. Maybe hello to some
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Fri Oct 20 02:14:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77krhg/maybe_this_is_goodbye_maybe_hello_to_some/
---
On mobile flair as rant rave or some other thing I don't know I'm always on mobile.
I haven't been in good headspace. I'm isolated and depressed. I'm poor. I just want to make my goal weight so I can die so with that I made friends with other sick people in other community to help me die. I have fallen deeper into this void. No cared and I felt like a phony cause I wasn't sick enough.
If i return I will be sick and you will all believe it. I might lurk but this may be it.
Willow
[Help] so i've been drinking 2 gallons of water a day...
/u/squishykiss
Created: Thu Oct 19 23:43:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77k7f3/so_ive_been_drinking_2_gallons_of_water_a_day/
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...is this OK for my health? Too much water?
I'm 5'10.5" & weigh just below 155 lbs. I recently began restricting pretty heavily (600-850 cal a day) and eat pretty clean & make sure to get enough vitamins, protein, electrolytes, calcium, etc.
Caffeine has become a huge crutch for me, too - so it's 2 gallons of water + coffee + energy drink + power zero +.....
I'm peeing literally every 15 minutes. I hate this but it's worth losing weight for. I feel like I'm being a little crazy & that my eating disorder is taking over my life. But it's also the only thing keeping me sane in college, right now. I just want to be thin and at peace with my body.
[Other] For those that struggle with BMs, dizziness, and bloated stomachs
/u/RedxLoaf [5'7" | 158lbs | 40lbs Lost | 24F]
Created: Thu Oct 19 23:18:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77k3q4/for_those_that_struggle_with_bms_dizziness_and/
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When you are dehydrated and your electrolytes are depleted, you are more prone to feeling cold, dizzy, and faint. Your body needs sodium to keep your blood pressure stable, so low sodium will cause all the aforementioned symptoms.
Constipation is also due to dehydration and a lack of magnesium (another main electrolyte). Magnesium is osmotic, and is absolutely crucial for getting fluids into muscles, specifically your digestive muscles. Without magnesium to pull those fluids in your bowels cannot move properly.
Lastly, reefeding after prolonged periods of heavy fasting will have you put any weight you do eventually gain onto your stomach. It will even out over time, so don't let it shock you. It's just what your body does.
Please remember to take all these symptoms seriously. Fasting and restriction means more room for error where it concerns your nutritional needs. You can do it safely, but I recommend supplements and checking every now and again on Cronometer.com to see if your average eating day is deficient in any important nutrients, such as electrolytes, b12, vitamin D, iron, and calcium.
Take care of yourselves. 😏✌️💋
[Help] I keep ordering food from ubereats :(
/u/fatalss
Created: Thu Oct 19 23:02:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77k0x7/i_keep_ordering_food_from_ubereats/
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And other food delivery apps, its just so easy! Can anyone give me tips/ insights on how to stop this please?
[Rant/Rave] i’m so anxious
/u/band-aide [5'6 | CW: 125 | SW: 140 | F/18]
Created: Thu Oct 19 22:44:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77jy2s/im_so_anxious/
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i got really off track since i started college and i can’t stop binge eating and buying binge foods at the grocery store. i’m afraid this cycle will never stop and that this is it, this is when i completely lose my ability to restrict at all. i used to be a god at it, i got all the way down to 90 lbs until i started developing serious medical issues.
every fucking day i want to go back. so bad. i miss my LW. i’m trying so hard to start counting and restricting again. i miss it so fucking much. i can’t imagine a life without obsessing over my body and food. i feel the same way about depression and anxiety- how is it that some people really live without sinking into a depressive episode every few months?
i’m a film student and decided to open up about my 5 year struggle with my ED for a project where another student did a documentary on me. it was so. fucking. hard. to sit through the class listening to me talk about this personal issue. another student came up to me and said she heavily related and it was neat! we talk about the similarities between our experiences and she wants to work on the final project with me. i’m so happy that film is an outlet for me to talk about my experiences.
I want to be able to open up to my family about it, and even more, open up to my boyfriend. i just never had an honest conversation with my parents about it- if they tried to, i shut it down. i am sinking into another depressive episode and it’s because all i can think about now is how badly i wish i could have open dialogue with my parents and boyfriend- the people closest to me- about the very embarrassing thing that’s plagued my mind for years now. it’s so nerve wracking to think about.
i really feel bad about being a downer on my boyfriend lately. he has no idea about my body image issues and my awful eating habits. i think it would appear to be very unattractive, but i know his reaction would be very kind and he’d listen with open arms. it’s comforting in a way, but also so fucking scary. he’s such a sweetheart, when i tell him he’s going to become worried about me and things won’t feel the same. i feel very emotionally blunted lately and i’ve said that something’s been bothering me lately, but didn’t really want to go into it. he said it was okay if i didn’t feel comfortable to talk about it. he’s such a sweet guy. i’m just afraid of this hurting him. he doesn’t really deal with mental illnesses himself so i think he might feel a bit lost on how to discuss that sort of thing with me.
this is really long aaa sorry
[Rant/Rave] My family are mean idiots. :(
/u/UncertainlyOrdinary
Created: Thu Oct 19 21:10:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77jh13/my_family_are_mean_idiots/
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We were watching a movie, a woman was on screen when we happened to pause it. This woman was goals. So thin, so dainty. She wasn't really petite, but she was so elegant. Her collarbones made me sigh, her hands were so pretty, long slender legs. She was goals. I go to the restroom and come back and my sister's and mom are talking about her.
They were so mean. Saying things like, "That's disgusting.", "She needs a hamburger or a whole box of donuts.", "That's gross, why would she want to look like that?", etc. I'm not a crier, but it made me tear up. Not only was this woman beautiful, but who are we to judge beauty anyways?? They're overweight, literally eating cheese covered potatoes as they are saying these things and the whole situation just disgusts me. I can't stop thinking about it. What if she is is struggling with an ED? What if she feels beautiful? What if she feels ugly and fat? We shouldn't judge other's bodies in such cruel and pointless ways. I want to look like her one day and if/when I get to my goals, they'll judge me the same way. It doesn't change my goals at all, for some reason it motivates me. But it makes me sad to know that when I feel good about myself, they'll be murmuring behind my back about how unattractive I am.
I know really know the point of this, I'm just angry and sad that people are so mean and my family is among such cruel, judgemental people. I know everyone is entitled to their opinions and all...I just, don't like their opinions lol.
[Discussion] What items are on your Amazon wishlist? Anything you'd recommend?
/u/xtinytoadx [5'4" | 78 | 13.65 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 19 21:01:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77jfhl/what_items_are_on_your_amazon_wishlist_anything/
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Someone asked me about mine and I realized that I don't really have anything added (I spend most of my money on food), so I was wondering about you all?
I was looking around tonight and found an aromatherapy oil diffuser that changes colors and squishy silicone animals I thought were cute, but useless...
[Rant/Rave] My guy friend eats 3500 calories a day
/u/lavenderbruises [5'9"|CW 113| GW 105| BMI 16.45| 19F]
Created: Thu Oct 19 19:51:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77j21i/my_guy_friend_eats_3500_calories_a_day/
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He’s 6’5 and weighs about 220!pounds. He’s really fit and muscular and plays rugby, so he’s not fat or anything.
He told me yesterday when he saw me using MyFitnessPal that he uses the app too. He showed me his profile and his daily caloric intake is 3500!!! Three fucking thousand! That’s literally 5 days worth of food for me.
I was like howww do you even eat that much, and he said that he’s “bulking” right now and that he uses protein shakes and supplements. And he eats tons of carbs.
Im actually jealous of him. He doesn’t have to restrict what he eats. He can eat whatever the f he wants. He can down a whole pizza if he feels like it, and it won’t go over his daily intake. And at the end of the day, his body will still be considered attractive because he is muscular.
I wish it was more socially acceptable for girls to be muscular. Then I’d be eating 3500 cals a day in order to get my dream body, not 700.
[Rant/Rave] I feel bad about throwing food out, but... I gotta start someday. Preparing for tomorrow.
/u/water_77 [I give up ok ]
Created: Thu Oct 19 19:33:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77iykx/i_feel_bad_about_throwing_food_out_but_i_gotta/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Do you ever get mad when your planned meal doesnt work out? [Rant/rave]
/u/abbiyah
Created: Thu Oct 19 19:25:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77iww6/do_you_ever_get_mad_when_your_planned_meal_doesnt/
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I was soo looking forward to having some baked chicken today after only eating veggies for three days. I went to the store and the only chicken looked disgusting. So I went home pretty much only with stevia soda. Lol. Now I'm not eating all night, I could have veggies but it's not what I planned for so I'm pissed. Uuugh. Why is my brain so stubborn.
[Rant/Rave] Bake and binge
/u/coffeexsmokes [5'2" | 100 | -50 | 21F]
Created: Thu Oct 19 19:16:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77iv7u/bake_and_binge/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Anyone else get upset if your planned meal goes wrong??
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 19 19:14:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77iuv5/anyone_else_get_upset_if_your_planned_meal_goes/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I can't let him see me eat like this...
/u/kwhateverrbye
Created: Thu Oct 19 19:13:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77iujt/i_cant_let_him_see_me_eat_like_this/
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It's just gross. I'm gross. This is disgusting, binging like this. Sure, in a few days I'll get over it and go on another "cleanse" (This is L.A., after all.) I gotta get my shit together for the sake of my relationship. Fuck me, I don't even know where to start.
*sorry I'm on mobile and can't do flair.
[Rant/Rave] I'm going to be forced to eat this weekend
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 87.8lbs | BMI 16.06ish | GW: 87lbs | 20F]
Created: Thu Oct 19 17:41:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77ic77/im_going_to_be_forced_to_eat_this_weekend/
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So I'm going to see my dad for the first time in a year tomorrow. Not only am I nervous about actually seeing him, but my ED brain is on fire.
At college I'm able to eat whatever I want to/avoid whatever I don't want. Down at his place, he's going to definitely be on my case about what I'm eating, and I won't be alone at any point until I go to bed at night.
I'm scared about having to eat. I'm also really nervous because I've visibly lost a lot of weight. I know that my step mom and my dad are going to be on high alert the second they see me.
Another thing that I'm worried about is the fact that my doctor appointment to address my ED is on Monday. I don't want to gain weight over the weekend because I'm afraid they won't take me seriously at the appointment if I do.
Ahhhhh I'm just freaking out guys. Had to vent.
[Rant/Rave] Why am I so messed up?
/u/bovineuniversitygrad
Created: Thu Oct 19 17:33:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77iagv/why_am_i_so_messed_up/
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Hello all! I’ve posted here at few times and I absolutely love the loving, accepting atmosphere here. I had a rough day at work and I thought to myself “fuck you (to my disordered brain) I am going to have a celebratory dinner and not give a fuck about calories. So I go and have a dinner with some delicious fried shrimp, beer, and lots of bread. Why the hell do I think that the first thing I should do is purge? It was supposed to be a special night with calorie worries going out the window and now it’s all in the toilet (literally) with me nearly choking on the bread coming up.... this is hell. Sorry for the rant. Thanks for listening beautiful people.
[Help] I’ve purged like 5 times a day for the past week
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 19 17:03:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77i47g/ive_purged_like_5_times_a_day_for_the_past_week/
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I need help with damage control. Please. I feel like I’m out of control.
[Other] My grocery "haul"
/u/AngelicZero [5'5.5"| fat | -39 | 115 | 8 Days BF]
Created: Thu Oct 19 15:53:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77hohl/my_grocery_haul/
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https://i.redd.it/ey4ojvuqyusz.jpg
Highlight of my day yesterday
/u/shortyaten
Created: Thu Oct 19 15:44:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77hmhf/highlight_of_my_day_yesterday/
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[removed]
[Discussion] What's something odd you crave really often?
/u/acidicdecay [Height 5'6.5"|CW 122|UGW 109 | Lady]
Created: Thu Oct 19 15:42:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77hm3g/whats_something_odd_you_crave_really_often/
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For some reason I crave soup SO much. I think it's a combination of it being comforting for nostalgic reasons and liquids always feeling safer to me
But I almost never eat soup, even though everyday I think "Hmmm, I could really go for some soup right now" so idk
Do any of y'all have really specific cravings that don't really fit with the idea of a craving? Like something that isn't bad for you, or particularly caloric, or indulgent, but you crave it like something that is nonetheless?
[Other] I'll take a compliment where I can get it
/u/loseitjen [5'8 |SW 135|CW 131|GW 115| F21]
Created: Thu Oct 19 14:42:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77h7fh/ill_take_a_compliment_where_i_can_get_it/
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We have a skeleton hanging in our bathroom for Halloween that's light censored, so as I turned off the lights it said "You should eat some candy, you're as skinny as me!" And I seriously considered thanking him lol
[Other] Corpse Bride thinspo
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 19 14:32:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77h4ln/corpse_bride_thinspo/
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[removed]
[Help] Poop problems?
/u/whatsupbuttercup5 [5' 3" | CW 106.4 | GW 92 | HW 124 | LW 98 | 25F]
Created: Thu Oct 19 14:21:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77h1e1/poop_problems/
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Hey guys, TMI, but need some advice.
I normally have regular BMs every single day, usually more than once. Ever since last night I can tell I need to go but haven't been able to yet. How have you guys solved this issue? How long should I wait before taking something? I just don't want this to become a big issue but I also don't want to be overly aggressive with it.
Thanks!
[Rant/Rave] I've spiraled so much into depression I've stopped eating completely
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 19 14:17:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77h0af/ive_spiraled_so_much_into_depression_ive_stopped/
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[removed]
[Discussion] It's Complicated: Has anyone seen Demi Lovato's new YT documentary?
/u/littlelumpi [5'1" | 150 | 28.3 | -41| F]
Created: Thu Oct 19 13:23:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77grt7/its_complicated_has_anyone_seen_demi_lovatos_new/
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Demi Lovato made a documentary where she opens up about her drug addiction and eating disorder, and in it she admits she's relapsed with her ED.
If you haven't yet, you can watch it on youtube here: [LINK] (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWTlL_w8cRA)
I thought the documentary was good and inspiring in general, she seems like she's working hard to stay clean and sober and make better music.
More relevant to this sub though, Demi admits to suffering with an ED, and she talks about binge eating and purging. She also shares some old body check pics and talks about how her ED developed. I tried to spoiler tag this just in case, but it's not working. But anyway, I thought it was inspiring because she admitted to her team that she relapsed, presumably so she wouldn't fall back in too deep. From a recovery standpoint I think it was inspiring, it shows how she tries to deal with her ED a bit. Also, it was wild to learn that she was still on drugs after rehab, during a time which I think she was claiming to be clean.
I'm just wondering if anyone has seen it and what you thought?
[Discussion] keeping hair healthy?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18| f | 22]
Created: Thu Oct 19 12:47:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77giur/keeping_hair_healthy/
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maintaining healthy hair is important to me! how do you guys keep your hair healthy and thick while restricting?
[Discussion] has anyone here ever tried miracle berry?
/u/incognitointodrama
Created: Thu Oct 19 12:19:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77gbmw/has_anyone_here_ever_tried_miracle_berry/
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so, for those who don't know, there are berries that make everything sour taste sweet. they make tablets out of them "for fun", to have weird taste tasting parties etc.
i just ordered a package bc i thought, well, since i can't lose weight bc i'm always bingeing on icecream, i could just use one of these tablets and instead of ice cream binge on a cup of frozen lemon water. that should work, right?
the tablets arrive in two weeks but i'm really hoping this works out. I mean, yeah, it's kinda expensive (15 dollars for 10 pieces) but if i take like one a day instead of a bowl of icecream it's not thaaat pricey, right? and if it works, you can create a wiki page for me as the inventor of the miracle berry diet. I'll keep you updated.
[Rant/Rave] fyi there are other artificial sweeteners besides stevia(Rave)
/u/sweettutu64 [5'3 | -51.4 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Oct 19 12:00:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77g6fd/fyi_there_are_other_artificial_sweeteners_besides/
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I guess I forgot that aspartame exists outside of prebottled drinks because I never thought about buying it? I've been using stevia for like two years even though it's not my favorite. Yesterday I had the revelation that, omg, all of my favorite diet drinks use aspartame as a sweetener maybe I could buy it. Turns out I'm an idiot and could have been sweetening my tea with aspartame all these months because 1) it's soooo much cheaper, I bought 250 packets for $2 and 2) you can, in fact, buy aspartame
[Discussion] DAE pick/obsess over someone as pointless competition?
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | SW: 130 | CW: ~125 | GW: small | 20F]
Created: Thu Oct 19 11:58:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77g64j/dae_pickobsess_over_someone_as_pointless/
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So, I can't stand one of the girls in my dorm suite. She's a little shorter than I am, probably weighs a bit more, and is one of those "teehee" giggly ditzy types, also super particular about other people's actions ("Hey, could you not play guitar right now? I need to nap" when it's like 4 PM), etc.
And of course she's a boy magnet, and of course my ex is fuggin' OBSESSED with her. While we were dating, he said she was "too pretty to even be real." Earlier this month, he admitted she was the "ideal body type". He showed me his camera roll today because he wanted me to see some shots he took from a field trip to the city, and she was literally in half of these pictures, posing in some super nice outfit and gigantic heels like a model.
Needless to say, this fuels my ED like no other. It's not that I want my ex to get back with me or stupid shit like that--it's just that I can't comprehend how she's the "ideal" and I'm not. She's wayyy too short (edit: for her weight) and has a decently sized tummy / muffin top. So my goal has been to turn into the opposite of her. Whenever I see her eating, it angers me and makes me cut my own dinner short. I know the competition is pointless because she's not even participating, but the idea of me being better than her (according to MY ideals) somehow makes me feel validated and smug to my ex??? It's extremely petty and makes no sense, but maybe some of y'all can relate. Sorry for the rant.
TL;DR: this chick I know is considered "hot" and she makes me want to wither away into nothingness so that I feel better about myself somehow.
[Rant/Rave] fucking. pregnant.
/u/preggos
Created: Thu Oct 19 11:37:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77g0lq/fucking_pregnant/
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Hello people! I'm using a throwaway for obvious reasons here.
So now I am 14 weeks pregnant. Being single and living in a relatively small town, I have not told any of my coworkers and only a handful of close friends. The problem: I'm starting to show and my boobs have swollen nearly 2x their size! I'm carrying fairly high so at this point I just look fucking huge. I haven't put on any significant weight yet 5'6, 144 lbs, but when I look in the mirror I see a puffy face and stocky, chubby girl :( Even fatter than I was before.
My goal here is to not lose weight but since i started a little bigger i dont want to gain any during pregnancy either. This is going to be hard considering my job is fairly physical and I'm noticeably hungrier than usual. On top of it all, I intend on adopting this baby out and will be working with a family throughout. I'm afraid of the pressure I'll be under to maintain a steady weight gain.
I'm sorry if this post doesn't belong here, if this is selfish (I know), and if it seems that my size should be the least bit of my problems here but i need to get this off my chest. Ok thanks!
/endrant
How to deal with plateau
/u/fitisthegoal
Created: Thu Oct 19 11:20:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77fwkt/how_to_deal_with_plateau/
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[removed]
[Other] My latest fasts. Pretty proud of myself today
/u/cartoonsandscience [6'1 | C:135.9 | -35 | GW:132 | 20M]
Created: Thu Oct 19 11:12:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77fui2/my_latest_fasts_pretty_proud_of_myself_today/
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https://imgur.com/dpmNLBR
[Discussion] Trouble focusing
/u/walkinghusks
Created: Thu Oct 19 11:04:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77fsei/trouble_focusing/
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I’m not really as obsessive about calories as other people I know who restrict (though I used to be when I was younger). I don’t count calories at all anymore, actually. I’ve been struggling with restricting for almost 10 years now (started in middle school), and I’m so in the habit of barely eating that I don’t even think about food most days. I’ll have a really light veggie lunch and some veggies/protein for dinner but I just don’t have an appetite anymore. Basically eat enough to live and that’s it.
The issue is that within the past 6 months it’s become very hard for me to focus on anything. I used to be very sharp and intelligent and everybody has started commenting on how “ADHD”, “ditzy”, and “airheaded” I’ve become. Has anybody else experienced this? Is there a way to improve it without eating a bunch of food? Eating makes me physically sick to my stomach (my body really struggles to take in food at this point), but I also can’t function at work like this.
[Rant/Rave] Why are people so messed up...
/u/thescarletlettergirl [5'3 | CW 108 | UGW 90 | 18 F | ]
Created: Thu Oct 19 10:37:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77flju/why_are_people_so_messed_up/
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So I had a thing with this guy and he would compare me to other girls including my roommate who he made a point of saying that she was "his type" because she is tallish 5'6 and "thin" with dark features (she told me she weighs like 125). She is really pretty, but we look nothing alike I am petite and have strawberry blonde hair. But even though I'm "not his type I'm still really hot." 🙄 Around this time I was about 120 and I'm 5'3. We had been friends for awhile and I opened up about my ED and he literally was like "I don't want to be around you because you're fucked up" and ghosted me because of my ED and depression, when the only reason I even told him about it was bc he told me at one point he was depressed and suicidal. Flash forward to a few months later and he starts hitting me up after I lose weight and become almost underweight...(getting close to my goal) and I'm sure he KNOWS it's because I have an ED. So apparently it's fine if I'm fucked up as long as I'm hot enough to make up for it. FUCK GUYS LIKE WHAT THE HELL. Sorry for the rant but 😑.
[Goal] I’m 1 pound away from my October weight loss goal
/u/z0mbabe [5'7 |175lbs | F| 🍑z0mbabe]
Created: Thu Oct 19 10:28:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77fjl1/im_1_pound_away_from_my_october_weight_loss_goal/
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Hopefully I don’t ruin it by binging. This never happens. I’m on cloud nine today.
[Rant/Rave] I feel like it will NEVER end
/u/hungryhippie77
Created: Thu Oct 19 10:14:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77ffus/i_feel_like_it_will_never_end/
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Please please listen to me if you think you're at the edge of the field and might be on your way to an eating disorder. Get off this subreddit. Never look at another Proeating disorder thing again, because it does tip you.
The sad thing is I know that by me writing this post and having written other ones before I am only adding to the collection of proed things.....but that's why I don't blame those who came before me. Because we aren't trying to trigger your disorder but we don't know where else to talk about it, because nobody else would understand. Nobody can understand going against the most ingrained thing in your survival; eating. Anorexia is like suicide except you have to explain yourself during it.
Please, anorexia is the worst thing ever. I wish I had never done the things to myself that I have. It's ruining so much. I would rather have been obese and without an eating disorder than the way I am right now, and here is the thing....I never would have had weight problems (be them in my mind or real, I don't even know which one it is anymore) if I hadn't started to try to control my diet in the first place.
When you have anorexia you aren't listening to your body. When you aren't listening to your body you make up for it later. If you're hungry all the time then you will binge and you will gain weight. When you gain weight you will starve yourself and become hungry all the time, and thus...binge again. Why did you binge before you had anorexia? Because you weren't getting adequate nutrition. Anorexia is not the solution to that and it instead leads to all the things that you fear; being alone, weight gain, a lack of confidence. It does not strengthen you at all.
Do you know why there are people out there with great bodies who don't have eating disorders? Because they listen to their body, and their body's messages aren't distorted from weeks and months of poor eating habits.
Now I must learn to listen to my body's messages again. I know for the first bit they will be indecipherable. I will eat a lot and I will eat the wrong things because my body doesn't understand food anymore. In time though it will all balance out.
I feel like it will never end....because I start to do so well but then something happens. The past 2 weeks I was doing amazing, and then something happened and I know it ties into my recent weight gain...and I feel a return to old ways, but you have to remember to keep trying. So even if I feel like it will never end I will still try my best to stop it, but my advice to anyone who is almost anorexic is that you need to get off forums like this and you need to stop looking at thinspo. Delete your instagram, Tumblr, and Pintrest if that's what it takes. Fuck all of that.
Rant over.
[Goal] I lost the weight from my last binge cycle!
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1.5" | cw 154 | gw 145 | ugw 100 | -16]
Created: Thu Oct 19 09:27:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77f444/i_lost_the_weight_from_my_last_binge_cycle/
---
I was doing so good restricting a couple months back. I had that feeling that only lower and lower numbers were ahead, like my life was coming together and all that shit. Then I got some bad news, I don't even remember what it was, and drank a bottle of champagne and ate a 2500+ cal bag of roasted cashews. Then I kept going for at least another week. I compromised with myself from there, one 600 cal day followed by a 1000+ day where I fit it all into one meal so I still got to feel like I binged. Then I got worse news and have hardly been able to eat for a few days. So now I'm .2 points under obese, yay!
Yesterday I woke up to a huge panic attack and today is starting off MUCH better
[Discussion] Do you guys get a blocked throat after purging?
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 111 | GW: 105 | M/15]
Created: Thu Oct 19 09:26:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77f3tx/do_you_guys_get_a_blocked_throat_after_purging/
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I tried to purge for the first time yesterday and today I can barely speak and when I can my voice sounds like I've been smoking a pack a day for 10 years and I think it's related. I had to do a presentation in class today and it was very awkward
[Rant/Rave] Feeling really sad. Trying not to binge.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 19 08:56:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77ewok/feeling_really_sad_trying_not_to_binge/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Fell off the wagon, but somehow I didn't destroy myself?
/u/annabear [F23 | 5'7" | CW:247.8 | -18.5]
Created: Thu Oct 19 08:26:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77eplm/fell_off_the_wagon_but_somehow_i_didnt_destroy/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Lowest maintainable weight/BMI?
/u/BonnePomme [5'6" | 91.8 lbs | 14.8 | -41 lbs| 20F]
Created: Thu Oct 19 08:07:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77elih/lowest_maintainable_weightbmi/
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[removed]
[Discussion] comment all your safe foods!!
/u/whatsename
Created: Thu Oct 19 08:02:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77ek9a/comment_all_your_safe_foods/
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let’s list ‘em
[Rant/Rave] Took a chance and ordered some jeans online in a smaller size
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 57.2 | 19.11/18.89 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 19 06:49:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77e5ic/took_a_chance_and_ordered_some_jeans_online_in_a/
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And they fit, despite gaining some weight when I ordered them. They're a little loose even. I probably could have gotten away with ordering even a bit smaller.
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support October 19, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Oct 19 06:11:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77dyr8/weekly_emotional_support_october_19_2017/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 19, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Oct 19 06:09:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77dyk5/daily_food_diary_october_19_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 19, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] I’m a terrible person
/u/sunnymcsunbuns
Created: Thu Oct 19 05:45:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77dul4/im_a_terrible_person/
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There’s a new girl at work who I loathe. She rolls her eyes at me when she thinks I’m not looking when I explain things to her she doesn’t want to hear.
When she joined in August, she was so thin, and now she’s gained at least 10 lbs and sprained her leg from running improperly. I’ve lost about the same amount in the last month.
I can’t help but be happy.
[Rant/Rave] "You look... Hungry "
/u/noname372017
Created: Thu Oct 19 04:29:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77djlx/you_look_hungry/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] My Bulimia made me broke [rant/rave]
/u/Strawberry_Smoothie
Created: Thu Oct 19 04:11:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77dha1/my_bulimia_made_me_broke_rantrave/
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The title says about all.
I'm absolutely fucking broke. I don't earn a lot to begin with because I decided to go to school to get a second degree, but the money would work out, if I didn't impulsively spend on binge food, and if not on binge food, on shopping in general.
I LOVE my ED, no kidding. There's nothing but money that would make me even consider giving it up.
But at the moment, I really don't know how to manage my bills without asking for money from my family, and I feel bad even thinking about it, because they believe they'd support my education, not my bulimia, when giving me money.
[Help] Wanting to get ED
/u/fadedngone
Created: Thu Oct 19 02:14:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77d2sv/wanting_to_get_ed/
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[removed]
[Tip] Collagen protein
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Thu Oct 19 01:55:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77d0ju/collagen_protein/
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Do it. Seriously. If you're gonna limit your calories at least make sure the ones you do eat are worth a damn. This shit is good for your face... when your body loses fats it starts to break down your collagen which is what keeps u young looking... Or something like that... Anyways my friend uses it and she looks 5yrs younger than me and she's 2yrs older.
[Rant/Rave] Realizing how many Instagram models have apparent EDs...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 19 01:37:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77cyci/realizing_how_many_instagram_models_have_apparent/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Anyone else just feeling so tired?
/u/thenumberonemariho
Created: Thu Oct 19 00:22:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77cool/anyone_else_just_feeling_so_tired/
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Physically and emotionally, but especially emotionally. My heart hurts both physically and because I’m so sad and stressed over all this. I gave in today when my friend asked to go to chipotle and I ate a whole bowl so fast and felt so sick. I couldn’t even purge it l :/ Lastly, i have an intake appointment in a week but I’m really struggling bc I feel like I don’t deserve treatment since I feel like I don’t have a “real” ED. Anyone else ever feel this way?
[Rant/Rave] Still feeling huge rant
/u/PrettyGirlsDontEat
Created: Thu Oct 19 00:20:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77cobp/still_feeling_huge_rant/
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To put this into perspective, this time last year I was over 200 pounds. I hit 200 December 9th 2016 and in total I'm down to 131 from 250. I still feel huge, clumsy, awkward and slow. I figured maybe with this much weight down I would feel more light but instead I could swear I still weigh 250. Even though I restrict super hard I still feel this slowness even when I eat a normal person meal (assuming I keep it down.) Maybe it is just restriction I don't know, all I know is I don't feel any different than I did 119 pounds ago. Dunno just a random rant I've been thinking about the last few days. What do you all think.
[Tip] A reminder that frozen grapes and watermelon are pretty much the best
/u/grave_stoned [6'1" / F / CW: 163 / GW: 140]
Created: Wed Oct 18 23:37:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77cie2/a_reminder_that_frozen_grapes_and_watermelon_are/
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Looking for a sweet fix?
Craving ice cream?
Need to binge and make it semi low cal?
Frozen grapes and watermelon might just be your answer my friend. For about 45kcal per cup of watermelon, and 62kcal for a cup of grapes, you're on your way to feeling good about eating something sweet and tasty! I honestly prefer them to Halo Top (is it legal to say that on this sub?), or alternative low cal ice creams. Freezing fruits brings out the sweetness, and its overall just a great alternative. This has been a PSA.
[Help] why am i like this??
/u/seawardwaves [5'8" | cw~132 gw~115]
Created: Wed Oct 18 23:26:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77cgua/why_am_i_like_this/
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dear god so i weighed in at 131.4 this morning, my lowest weight so far. last time i was this weight, five days ago, i spent the rest of the day hanging out with my boyfriend eating a shit ton of food. it's taken me 5 days to get back here and now i just go fuck everything up again.
and then i did the same thing today. why can't i hang out with him without eating? it's like i can't say no to food around him. and then next thing you know i've accidentally eaten an entire bag of chips, a box of reese's pieces, a huge pack of gummy cherries, and a (delicious) salmon piroshki to top it off. literally 3000 calories total today. and then i spent the rest of the night hating myself for being a fat fuck. why is it so easy to be a goddamn fuckup. or why can't i just enjoy myself, and not worry about it? i just *eat* and *eat* and *eat* and then feel so shitty. god.
[Rant/Rave] My fiancée is up (he lives 3 hours away) and I just want to die.
/u/xox_morbid
Created: Wed Oct 18 23:06:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77cduw/my_fiancée_is_up_he_lives_3_hours_away_and_i_just/
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He took me to a movie yesterday. And I had popcorn and nachos. And a huuuuuge cinnamon bun with extra frosting. I purged it all as best as I could without him noticing.
Now he wants to take me to dinner tomorrow.
Nooooo. All I can think of is the calories and I’m no good at restricting for the day until then.
FML GUYS
[Rant/Rave] DAE feel crappy when they break a fast?
/u/catpotatotots [5'4|CW: 🙃 |GW: 100|UGW: 90|F]
Created: Wed Oct 18 22:53:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77cbqf/dae_feel_crappy_when_they_break_a_fast/
---
Hey guys! I've been more of a lurker/casual commenter, but I pretty much read this sub religiously.
Lately I've been doing IF, and trying to do a 20/4 fast or as long as I can last really without social obligations. On Wednesdays my sorority has weekly meetings, and there's always sisters who want to hang out and eat.
I usually don't eat all day even after I get home from school just because I don't want to. Wednesday's I kind of feel obligated to eat with sisters and usually end up eating around 6:00PM (in reference I wake up at 6:30AM on Wednesdays to go to school). About two weeks ago I noticed I feel sick when I eat after fasting, but it seems to happen only on Wednesdays. Idk if it's just me being paranoid or because I'm eating an actual meal or my body just wants to hurt me because I'm the fat sister of the group 🙃
Anyways I was just curious if other people also feel really sick when they break a fast, and what do you guys do about it? Some of my sisters know about my ED so I can't exactly purge in the bathroom to get rid of my nausea 😔
[Help] Anyone here ever dated someone who also has an ED?
/u/LetzBeAn [5'5.5" | HW: 142 | CW: 110 | GW1: 90 | 25NB]
Created: Wed Oct 18 22:29:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77c7yy/anyone_here_ever_dated_someone_who_also_has_an_ed/
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Long story short, relatively recently, I met an incredible woman (I'm non-binary) who I connected with immediately and we've been spending a *loot* of time together. We've talked to each other really deeply and extensively about our struggle with mental illnesses, and I think we've both been really open with each other... with the exception of ED. ED never came up in our discussion at all.
However, the other day, as I was walking up behind her to surprise her with a mid-afternoon snack, I saw her scrolling through the "eatingdisorderconfession" Tumblr. Rather than confronting her then, I just kind of stood frozen behind her, long enough to see that she then switched to a thinspo blog. At this point I tiptoed back out the room...
This was two days ago, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't know I know. However, I think she suspects that I have an ED though because she occasionally makes a few comment about how I'm not eating enough and I see her eyeing my plate when we go out to eat and I'm doing the whole "fake excited tone when I talk about minor daily happenings" and the whole "cutting and then moving food around on my plate rather than eating it" thing, which is usually enough to distract most people.
Finding out that she's probably struggling with an ED actually caught me off guard. She doesn't engage in most of the typical behaviours (e.g. bathroom after dinner, compulsively going to the gym, keeping a large stash of binge food, choosing the lowest cal options -- hell, I can't even find a bathroom scale anywhere in her house!). Of course, some of these I might simply not have noticed. And in addition, going by my estimate, her BMI probably also falls into the high end of the normal range. I'm not saying this at all to suggest that that somehow indicates anything about the severity of her ED. And I don't judge her for her weight, nor do I think my attraction towards her would change at all if her weight changed. I'm only saying it because all that is leading me to conclude that she's either in the beginning stages of an ED, or she's recovering from one.
I am very worried that she might be in recovery and that being around me has triggered her ED thinking again... I might be paranoid here, but I notice that she seems to be eating slightly less since she met me and no longer finishes all the food on her plate... I would hate to cause her to relapse if she was in recovery... and if she's not, I'm worried that being around me and noticing my weird food habits might lead her to want to restrict more? And (this part I'm really ashamed to admit), I'm highly competitive and yesterday I found myself calculating and her calorie consumption and comparing it to mine... Gosh I hate this so much.
Has anyone else experienced something similar? Or does anyone have any advice for me? I know that I have to confront her... but how? How when I have no intention of recovering myself?
*edited
[Rant/Rave] Back at it again
/u/SvelteDreams [5'5" | CW 121.4lbs | GW 103lbs | 21F]
Created: Wed Oct 18 22:26:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77c7fz/back_at_it_again/
---
I'm so fucking disappointed in myself. I was doing so well. I was eating intuitively and maintaining my weight and looking healthy but noooo i needed to be thinner to look good so I started calorie counting. Again. and then I started restricting. Because that's what I always do. And then I got so hungry and I started binging and restricting. And now I have a date tomorrow and I don't want binge-belly so... I took laxatives. for the first time in a year. I've been so good. I can't believe I'm back here... waiting for the pain and regret that'll set in about 8 hours later. And I'll probably still have absorbed all the calories but few nutrients and a lot of those will just be wasted leaving me hungrier tomorrow so naturally i'll binge again and have to purge again and it never ends...
I just want to be thin. I really want to get there healthily. I feel like 105 lbs isn't an unhealthy weight. Sure, it's below a "healthy" BMI but what the fuck does that matter? If I were 17.5 I wouldn't even be considered anorexic... why can't that be my goal? I wish more people would be accepting of low BMI goals because I feel like having to hide my goals from people leads me to more self-destructive habits then if I could just be honest.
Ok. Enough ranting. Goal plan: start drinking some water and keep water by my bed. Tomorrow, take my vitamins after the worst of the shitting and make sure to stay hydrated. Eat healthily, a tiny bit reduced, and make sure to work out, but not over-work. Consider throwing away laxatives. Try to stop berating myself. If only plans were as easy to stick with as they are to create...
[Rant/Rave] I hate boys.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 18 22:18:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77c5yv/i_hate_boys/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] The stupidity of some people..
/u/midwesthoe- [5'1| 105 | 19.8 |20F|]
Created: Wed Oct 18 22:07:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77c488/the_stupidity_of_some_people/
---
https://i.redd.it/os6awr4oopsz.jpg
[Intro] Intro
/u/luciavdh
Created: Wed Oct 18 21:37:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77byz9/intro/
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Hi guys!
I've been lurking for a while and I leave the occasional comment but I have been hesitant to introduce myself because I'm technically in recovery and I don't really want to backslide. I have come a really long way but I'm still more disordered than not and I need this kind of judgement-free zone in my life.
I'm 26, I've been struggling with anorexia since I was 15 but have been in recovery since I was 20. I have 4 kids, I was married but my husband died almost a year ago, so things have been really hard and it has made my disordered habits and anxiety around food a lot worse. I have a somewhat bad addiction to exercise and I still count calories religiously. Somehow I am still hanging onto those last 5 baby pounds.
I'm 5'7 and currently 118 pounds, which should make me happy but it doesn't. I can't say I'm thrilled to be back here, but I'm struggling more than I have in a while and this is such a supportive community. So hi!
[Rant/Rave] Prozac and weight
/u/sadfatdragons
Created: Wed Oct 18 21:32:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77bxzr/prozac_and_weight/
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I've recently gone back on Prozac for my anxiety, about a month now. It stops my obsessive thoughts but without my obsessive thoughts I find it harder to stick to my diet and calorie restriction. I'm really conflicted about whether or not to continue as I'm a lot haappier but I've gained 2 pounds this month since starting.
[Rant/Rave] I just tried (and failed) to purge for the first time
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 111 | GW: 105 | M/15]
Created: Wed Oct 18 21:22:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77bwbr/i_just_tried_and_failed_to_purge_for_the_first/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I've gained 10 pounds because I can't stop binging when I'm with my boyfriend.
/u/I_Love_Spiders_AMA [5' 7" | CW 135 | GW 110 | BMI 20ish | -45 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 18 20:55:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77br8w/ive_gained_10_pounds_because_i_cant_stop_binging/
---
We have a long distance relationship so when we see each other for two days a week, I'm at my happiest. But when I'm at my happiest, I have low anxiety and few cares in the world so I don't worry nearly as much about my eating (and controlling it). I've gotten so out of control. I was at a steady 125 ibs for nearly a year and just now I weighed in at 138. I know some of it is water retention and food weight since I binged the past two days but I know that tomorrow it still won't be anywhere near what I wish it was. I was doing SO well for so long with restricting and keeping control, and now I feel like I'm losing all the progress I've made. I don't want to keep binging but I don't know how to stop it like I did before and I just want to fucking die. I hate looking in the mirror. I don't know what to do anymore.
This has been getting worse for probably about 5 months now and I'm just worried I'm so far into the habit of eating so unhealthily and care-free when we're together that 1) I won't be able to kick this disgusting ritual I've gotten into, and 2) I'll continue to gain permanent weight and eventually get even fatter.
[Discussion] HOW do you stay warm?
/u/justalittlesmaller [5'2" | 98 | 17.9 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 18 20:21:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77bkni/how_do_you_stay_warm/
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I get so so so cold in temps that others find comfortable. Usually I just keep my coat and scarf on, but I work in the medical field and oftentimes can ONLY wear scrubs (short sleeved top and pants). HELP!
[Goal] First fast!!
/u/xwer15 [5'5| 142.6 | -18| GW:100| F]
Created: Wed Oct 18 20:14:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77bj3w/first_fast/
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As of 9pm today I completed my first 24 hour fast :) I'm feeling really proud because I never thought I could do one. I didn't really mean to do it, I just saw myself this morning in the mirror and my thighs were so big I got nauseous. So I didn't want to eat and by then it was noon so I just kept it going. It hasn't been too too bad, I haven't been hungry for a lot of the day and my stomach only growled a few times. I'm starting to feel lightheaded now but I'm going to sleep soon so I'll be okay. I think I'm going to try to fast once a week going forward. I'm feeling really good about reaching my goals :)
Hope everyone had a good day!!
[Rant/Rave] A pint of Mac and cheese
/u/KajaIsForeverAlone [height:5'9 | CW: 135 BMI:20 | weight lost:25 lbs | Gender: F]
Created: Wed Oct 18 20:13:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77bj02/a_pint_of_mac_and_cheese/
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I just watched my little brother heat up an entire bloody pint of Mac and cheese, and he's wolfing it down in front of me as I'm watching "what the health". He starts choking on the food, and coughs up a noodle into his hand, HE THEN PROCEEDS TO SHRUG AND LICK IT OFF HIS HAND
WHAT THE HELL IS WITH PEOPLE
[Thinspo] When your doctor notices your weight loss
/u/raz563 [5"11 | GW: 120lb | Female]
Created: Wed Oct 18 20:06:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77bhq2/when_your_doctor_notices_your_weight_loss/
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[removed]
[Other] Sometimes, when I have nothing else, words are all I need.
/u/mattsulli
Created: Wed Oct 18 20:00:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77bgkv/sometimes_when_i_have_nothing_else_words_are_all/
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https://i.redd.it/f27uo2l22psz.jpg
[Help] In the grocery parking lot binge prep
/u/ladywinterz
Created: Wed Oct 18 19:19:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77b8cl/in_the_grocery_parking_lot_binge_prep/
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I cracked my knuckles and put on my baseball cap and decided it was a day to binge. What’s hilarious is when I binge I am always in the same outfit ie sweats hat under disguise cause I could never have anyone seeing me buying pizza like I’m committing a crime. I’ve been depriving myself since the last binge over the weekend and have been drinking again so, under the influence, I justify my illness. When I am sober this never happens. But I’ve been restricting hard and I’m straight up hungry. I look like shit too. My eyes are sunken, I just don’t look well. I’m going to binge right now with hope that I can just not one day. I really need to consider the insanity that goes along with repeating this same process over and over. Instead of maintaining our ED's let’s offer ideas to fix....? Alas here I go ....
[Rant/Rave] Binged and ran to bathroom
/u/_forced_postivity_
Created: Wed Oct 18 19:08:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77b5ye/binged_and_ran_to_bathroom/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I just need to rant a little
/u/ihatehickorysticks
Created: Wed Oct 18 19:02:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77b4qr/i_just_need_to_rant_a_little/
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I can’t control my fucking appetite. I’m disgusting and large AGAIN, all the weightloss I achieved this summer is gone. Completely gone. Like it never even happened. I don’t even know what the fuck I’m living for anymore. I have no friends, I have no self control, no money, no life. I just want to die. I wake up everyday wishing I had died in my sleep and I go to sleep every night hoping I don’t wake up. Honest to god I would do heroin if it gave me something to live for. Anything. I will do meth for fucks sake if it helps me lose weight. Nothing ever gets better. Fuck.
[Intro] Intro
/u/Im_Your_Turbo_Lover [6'1 | 205 | 25.82 | 150lb lost | M]
Created: Wed Oct 18 18:54:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77b33e/intro/
---
Hey. I thought I would start participating here because I have been lurking for a while and I like the atmosphere of this sub in particular.
I'm a 22 year old in college who's lost something over 150 lbs, and actually lost a little more than that but seem to have gained a bit back as of time of posting. At 6'1 I used to weigh nearly 400 lbs. This year I managed to get down to 188.
I'm back up to around 205 now, and I would like to weigh 180 or less by the end of next year.
When I'm not in class or doing work I'm usually either at the gym or gaming and/or listening to music (I like Siouxsie, The Smiths, The Cure, New Order, and Joy Division). I'm not a super social type, although I wouldn't classify myself as an introvert per se. I can socialize and go out and do those things, but people tend to tire me out pretty fast, and most of my friends are either a) from the internet or b) aren't the party type either. So in general I keep to myself, and I like the idea of a community like this.
Anyway, I've had a pretty crappy few weeks. I have serious issues with binge eating, on the order of eating 12,000 calories in one day. I'm afraid of actually dying from eating too much (not from obesity, literally too much food in my body at once), so it would be nice to have support. I look forward to participating here and being there for other members of this sub if you'll have me.
I was thinking of posting progress pics but I wasn't sure that was allowed in intro posts, and I don't like being vain in general.
[Help] I have a really dumb question guys
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 87.8lbs | BMI 16.06ish | GW: 87lbs | 20F]
Created: Wed Oct 18 18:36:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77azjb/i_have_a_really_dumb_question_guys/
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So I binged a little today. Nothing crazy, I just ate more than what I planned on having. I stayed under 1000 calories. Maintenance for me is between 1400 and 1500.
As long as I stay under 1400 or so, I should lose weight right? I'm not all of a sudden going to gain weight just because I ate a few hundred calories more than normal?
My ED brain is kind of panicking and I don't want to purge so I just need some support about it tbh lol.
[Goal] I said no to free food (finally)
/u/lavendersmoke [5'5" | CW 127.4 | GW 105 | -5 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 18 18:27:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77axoi/i_said_no_to_free_food_finally/
---
I'm currently living in a house with several other people including my boss, and everyone is usually super sweet and tries to feed me daily.
Today one of the girls ordered pizza and I said no. I may have binged on three specialty cupcakes earlier and am getting a sushi roll for dinner but I somehow said no to pizza at least. Fingers crossed I keep getting better at it.
[Other] its my birthday today
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 190 lb | GW: 120 lb | 22F]
Created: Wed Oct 18 18:18:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77avsr/its_my_birthday_today/
---
I saved up all my calories to get drunk and only one person wants to go out with me
I can't even blame them its a wednesday in the middle of exam season
Every years just a reminder that no one ever wants to celebrate my birthday. Even on my 21st all I did was go to my work (on my day off) and have a beer.
at least i dont feel hungry or want to drink anymore
[Rant/Rave] The mirror
/u/shrinktoavoid [F 5'7|120.6]
Created: Wed Oct 18 18:12:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77audp/the_mirror/
---
A quick rant:
Woke up today feeling small and empty, I was satisfied when the scale showed my weight this morning, my clothes fit comfortably, even briefly thought to myself that maybe I could just maintain comfortably at this weight.
Then I happened to glance at myself in the mirror and everything single one of those previous positive thoughts didn't matter. I still have so much fat to lose still!
I hate the mirror, I hate pictures of me, I seriously wish that I could just wear a garbage bag the rest of my life so no one can ever see my body again.
[Help] giving yourself leeway/cutting yourself some slack?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18| f | 22]
Created: Wed Oct 18 18:02:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77as8z/giving_yourself_leewaycutting_yourself_some_slack/
---
i have been heavily restricting lately and (maybe tmi but w/e) just got my period so i'm already bloated and feel disgusting and i'm also really hungry which never happens on my period. i kinda want to cut myself some slack, eat dessert tonight with my friends, and maybe even eat dinner when i get home, but i'm afraid of eating at/above maintenance. do you guys think that it makes a difference for one day out of weeks of heavy restriction? like, how badly would one day affect my progress? idk, it's tempting to cut myself some slack today.
[Rant/Rave] I just tried (and failed) to purge for the first time
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 18 17:33:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77amas/i_just_tried_and_failed_to_purge_for_the_first/
---
[removed]
[Other] Saw an old friend from high school today.
/u/LostBrokenAndAfraid [5"10 | CW 195 | 170 | - 70 lbs | M]
Created: Wed Oct 18 17:32:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77am4x/saw_an_old_friend_from_high_school_today/
---
Hey all, just wanted to share this little exchange that happened roughly 20 minutes ago.
I was walking to class (I'm a junior at my university) and I heard someone yell out my name super loud. I looked over, and saw one of my best friends from high school. I hadn't seen him in the four years since we graduated, and we were both stoked to see each other again. Anyway, we start walking in the same direction to our classes, and he says:
"Damn dude, you look so healthy!"
I gave him a really puzzled look. I asked him what he meant by that.
"You just look so much healthier and buffer than you did back in high school."
(Probably important to note that I was on swim team with him for 4 years so we were VERY familiar with what each other looked like.)
I felt like a god damned idiot. All I could think to say was "I wish I felt healthy," and he looked at me like I was an idiot. I pretty quickly realized what I'd said, and, not wanting to divulge all of the details to him, I changed the subject to something else pretty quickly and he seemed to quickly forget about the exchange.
I just feel worse now, honestly. I can't stop thinking about what others think about me and how much of a failure I am due to this illness. I know that I've got another 25 lbs or so on my frame than I did back then, and it definitely shows. I lift weights quite a bit, so while I have put on a bit of muscle, I still feel like a disgusting fat blob. I can't stop thinking about what others from high school or from my past may or may not think of me.
I just needed to throw this all down somewhere, as it isn't like I have anyone else I can talk to about it. Thanks for reading.
[Rant/Rave] Lately I just have such a hard time restricting.
/u/lovelyannie [5’2” | 167 | 30.6 | -20lbs | Female]
Created: Wed Oct 18 17:28:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77alew/lately_i_just_have_such_a_hard_time_restricting/
---
It’s like, no matter what time in the day my first bite of food is, I can’t stop.
If I eat breakfast, I’ve eaten 800 calories by lunch. If I don’t eat until dinner, I binge hardcore between dinner and bed.
I’ve already figured out that if I can stick to my plan, my estimated weight loss date is March 3rd, but I CAN’T DO IT.
This was so easy in high school. I don’t know why I can’t do it anymore.
Sorry, I just needed to get this off my chest. :(
[Rant/Rave] Ate normally for a day and it was so damn many calories. Fuck me.
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Wed Oct 18 17:22:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77ajyn/ate_normally_for_a_day_and_it_was_so_damn_many/
---
Spent the whole day with friends and family, and ate normally whenever they ate, so nobody would be suspicious. Went on a hike, had an apple donut. Met my aunt for lunch, had a salad. Yoga, a pear. Now I’m meeting people for a slice of pizza and a beer.
How the hell do people do this every day?! I’m almost at 1900 calories, 1700 with the hiking I did. I’m going to gain at least a half a pound from today. Fuck.
[Tip] Tip I thought I’d share with my fellow broke drunkorexics
/u/mattsulli
Created: Wed Oct 18 17:03:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77afth/tip_i_thought_id_share_with_my_fellow_broke/
---
Now that fall weather is finally upon us, I crave cider like nothing else. Cider is basically pure sugar. I’ve figured out a great replacement: herbal tea infusions. I get a $12 handle of vodka from Costco (don’t need to be a member to purchase liquor), and steep a couple of bags of “apple spice” tea for a couple of hours and add some Splenda. I drink it with just ice, but some soda water to dilute would probably be great too. Lots of flavor, no added calories.
@carolinedeisler
/u/sleepdeprivedhowl
Created: Wed Oct 18 17:02:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77afik/carolinedeisler/
---
https://imgur.com/a/zIUL1
[Rant/Rave] Y'all...broth.
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Wed Oct 18 16:56:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77ae9w/yallbroth/
---
Now that it's finally cold out, I am LIVING for veggie bouillon cube broth. 15 cal for an entire cube and I feel so full after. It's just so warm and satisfying. I know we've all tallied about it before, but I just had to rave for a second.
[Rant/Rave] Comfort
/u/aceshighsays [5'2" | C: 110.2 | -27.8 | F | G: 99]
Created: Wed Oct 18 16:47:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77ac9w/comfort/
---
The more weight I lose, the more toned I get, the more comfortable I become with my body. A few days ago I tried on an outfit that I purchased 4 years ago but was too ashamed to actually wear it in public because I looked reeallyyy fat. https://imgur.com/a/fus6h. I am posing a little bit, but even with that I don't look too fat to wear that. I wonder if I'm ever going to get the courage to wear this in public. How low should my weight go? Bigger girls sometimes try to pull this look but it looks horrible. I just don't want to be "that fat girl" whose fat is flowing all over the place, it's disgusting.
[Rant/Rave] I'm so happyyyy
/u/thedarkleopard
Created: Wed Oct 18 16:14:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77a4kd/im_so_happyyyy/
---
My mom made me stand on the scale this morning in front of her today because she was concerned about me looking like I'm "skin and bones" lately. Although it's obviously not true (if these chafing thighs are skin and bones then my bones have some issues lol) I stepped on and found that I lost 5 pounds in the last two weeks!! Without trying anything!! In fact I ate so much dairy and sugar and trash these past weeks that I was afraid to look at the scale only to see that I went from 134 to 129. I'm finally at the 22s for bmi :) and 5 pounds closer to GW. It's so small in the grand scheme of things but I couldn't stop smiling after I saw.
How do you keep you ED from your parents??
/u/alexxxxis
Created: Wed Oct 18 16:05:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77a2j1/how_do_you_keep_you_ed_from_your_parents/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Feeling like shit cause I probably gained weight
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Wed Oct 18 15:51:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/779z7r/feeling_like_shit_cause_i_probably_gained_weight/
---
Since reaching 120 I decided I now want to hit 110 but I am having a hard time given the time of year and wanting to be able to enjoy things. So I told myself I would give myself 3-4 days of not counting and then 3-4 days of 1200 cals (i wish I could go lower but smoking weed makes that real difficult. So I had the past two days of not counting (this first day was probably maintenance also) and now I’m stuck at 120-121 when I have been pretty consistently 117. Even tho I know this is probably water weight and I haven’t gone to the bathroom it is driving me crazy. I had plans to go watch a basketball game and drink tonight and I really want to but now I’m stressed about my weight and miserable and don’t want to let myself eat anything.
The only potential positive is I just donated plasma and their scale there said I am 118 with all my clothes and shoes on and so I was feeling ok til I came home and weighed myself again on my scale and I’m still 120!!
I hate this
[Rant/Rave] weight loss tip! (not really)
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1.5" | cw 154 | gw 145 | ugw 100 | -16]
Created: Wed Oct 18 14:28:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/779ewx/weight_loss_tip_not_really/
---
useless whining here, fair warning
So I'm a major stoner I guess. I've been addicted to weed for years. I quit for 2 months last year to show my therapist I could. It was horrible. I never believed until then that anybody actually had any super negative effects from quitting weed. But I guess if you are doing it all day long every single day without fail, stopping suddenly can have an effect. suddenly I was having panic attacks every day and barely sleeping etc. Terrible.
So here I am a year or whatever later and I've been doing dabs. So now I'm addicted to those. And I ran out and won't be getting more for a few days. And so I guess I am withdrawing again, allthough I hate to even apply that term to this. But I'm so distraught, so busy having emotional breakdowns about everything, that the thought of food just makes me angry. Even the thought of binging makes me angry. All the normal techniques I turn to to soothe myself, healthy or unhealthy, my brain just thinks right away "fuck that stupid thing that's not going to fix your problems nothing is going to fix your problems there's nothing you can do than just sit here and keep fucking panicking" and this newfound anger at food is the only good thing to come out of this total emotional breakdown. I might actually fit into the dress I have to wear this weekend and not feel like a stuffed sausage for once in my goddamn life
[Rant/Rave] I hate that I hate this
/u/ginfizzy
Created: Wed Oct 18 14:23:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/779dl8/i_hate_that_i_hate_this/
---
My friend is so naturally skinny, and she's always eating junk and fast food shit and it makes me furious. I mention anything about food and she goes on about how she's never hungry and doesn't need to eat much. She sees a normal-person meal I made or something and she goes "I could never eat all that wow, I wish I had that kind of appetite".
She's 5'2" and weighs 105 and I'm 5'8" and weigh Too Much, so I know I shouldnt logically compare myself to her, but I can't help it.
She's also told me that her lack of appetite and bad nutrition is because of her depression, and I know it makes me a horrible person to, knowing this, still hate the fact she's thinner than me and eats less than me.
Every time I hang out with her it makes me hate myself and my huge fucking appetite and makes me want to not eat ever. Why am I such a shitty person like this :(
[Discussion] Fitbit challenge!
/u/akashax
Created: Wed Oct 18 14:19:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/779chi/fitbit_challenge/
---
Hey, so i had an idea that maybe we could form a small community on Fitbit and challenge eachother to motivate eachother to keep making steps. I would only put people in this subreddit in the challenge.
Leave your info below or PM me ur email associated to your account if youre interested.
[Rant/Rave] my birthday
/u/patroclues
Created: Wed Oct 18 14:09:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7799wm/my_birthday/
---
my family ordered me these cookies for my birthday and i decided to eat three for some reason and after eating them it put me around 1300 calories for the whole day, which is the most ive eaten in... months. i cant remember the last time i ate this much.
i cry after almost every single time i eat and ive gotten pretty well with doing it so no one will notice how upset i get but i dont think i can hide it from my roommate this time, but i think thats not super bad because shes already pretty aware of how freaky i can get sometimes
i was supposed to go out tonight and hang with some friends, but i cant even do that because i have so much homework and exams to study for
and its the first time im spending my birthday away from my grandparents, which is really upsetting.
its been a weird, melancholic day and i would talk about it with friends but one has overtly said she thinks its annoying when i talk about food and obsess over stuff so i think im going to stop talking about this kind of thing with people i know
ever since college has started ive been able to do what i want food wise, but i maintained for a long time and slowly reached 106 and i dont even look nice for someone with my bmi/height & weight which is upsetting. im just trying my best.
i apologize if this is really disembodied, i just needed to say something and calm myself down. this is my first post too so im not so sure about... etiquette and everything else.
[Goal] I weighed myself today...
/u/DowntownTriumph91
Created: Wed Oct 18 13:40:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7792i6/i_weighed_myself_today/
---
And, I'm finally in the 120's!!! I am 128lbs for the first time in years.
I was so excited that I had to share with someone :)
Thanks for hearing me out. Hope everyone is having a good day! 💓
Has anyone been on the birth control pill Aviane before??? Did it work good for you/any weight gain?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 18 13:37:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7791n5/has_anyone_been_on_the_birth_control_pill_aviane/
---
[removed]
[Other] Unexpected triggers
/u/FluffyToughy [17.1 kg/m^2.5]
Created: Wed Oct 18 13:24:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/778yf4/unexpected_triggers/
---
I was doing some programming earlier today for data analysis. I had variables all over the place like `app.analysis.engine.host`, which are just too long, right? Who wants to write that all the time. Let's shorten it! `anal-host` is out for... obvious reasons, so how about `ana-host`? Great. Problem solved. Didn't even think about it.
Right up until I called something an `ana-trigger` and the meaning clicked... several thousands of lines later 😑🔫
I know this is kinda weird and niche, but I've got to finish this stupid project and I'm so lowkey triggered right now, lol.
[Discussion] The Science of Eating Disorders
/u/RedxLoaf [5'7" | 158lbs | 40lbs Lost | 24F]
Created: Wed Oct 18 12:58:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/778ru7/the_science_of_eating_disorders/
---
So I listened to [this podcast](https://completehumanperformance.com/2015/09/11/eating-disorder-podcast/) on my way to get my ADHD pills on my lunch break. It's a freaking revelation.
Everything Carrie Arnold (writer of Decoding Anorexia) talks about I can relate in someway, and others I can relate to immensely. I never knew how to describe my impulses, but now I know the word "obsessionality" and how it's linked to my self-worth and perfectionism. It's really worth the listen if you have the time. :)
Here's the synopsis if you want to learn more before listening:
*You know the hardest part about having an eating disorder?*
It’s not feeling cold all of the time.
It’s not being weak and fragile.
It’s not the hunger.
It’s having no idea why, or how, you got anorexia.
I’ve been anorexic since I was 12 years old, and the worst part of the disease is feeling guilty. You feel like you’re “defective,” and that it’s somehow your fault.
Luckily, new research has come out that helps shed light on exactly why some people become anorexic, like me, and others don’t.
In this podcast, science journalist and former anorexia sufferer Carrie Arnold is going to teach you what really causes eating disorders. Here’s what we discuss:
The three main causes of anorexia.
The most underrated warning signs that someone might have an eating disorder.
How your brain function changes when you get anorexia.
How to help, or at least talk to, someone with an eating disorder.
[Help] First time posting here but wanted to say it.
/u/vcloud25
Created: Wed Oct 18 12:37:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/778mnc/first_time_posting_here_but_wanted_to_say_it/
---
[removed]
[Thinspo] Raven Lyn
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 18 12:35:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/778m56/raven_lyn/
---
https://i.redd.it/g0k0f31mumsz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Lost control... I was doing so well :(
/u/rosa1200
Created: Wed Oct 18 12:12:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/778g8l/lost_control_i_was_doing_so_well/
---
I was doing SO well with restricting this week until today.... had a healthy safe food lunch, but then something suddenly came over me and I ate a huge bag of tortilla chips (over 600 calories), then as if that wasn't enough, I ate 2 chocolate candy bars from the vending machine, then as I was walking back home I had ANOTHER smaller bag of chips and a triple turkey club sandwich pack (I think it was around 700 cal for the entire pack?!) I'm so upset I feel disgusting.
The worst part is, I can't restrict for the next few days as my parents are coming to visit me.... fuck :(
[Rant/Rave] remembering that progress/changes don't happen overnight
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18| f | 22]
Created: Wed Oct 18 12:09:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/778ff7/remembering_that_progresschanges_dont_happen/
---
it's easy to forget that change and progress doesn't happen overnight (and might not even be visible for a week or two at a time). i look back on past weight loss and feel like it happened so quickly, effortlessly. i have to remind myself—today and, lately, almost every day—that eating less than 1,000 calories a day will absolutely result in weight loss because it couldn't possibly lead to maintaining or gaining weight. and one day of eating 1,400 calories won't mean gaining a ridiculous amount of weight. losing the weight i gained on maintenance won't happen overnight, and that's okay. it'll happen eventually, sooner than i think, and i guess that's all that really matters.
[Discussion] you know it’s bad when
/u/honeymilk66 [5'2 | cw: 148.6 lbs | -21.4 lbs | gw: 98 lbs]
Created: Wed Oct 18 11:59:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/778cwz/you_know_its_bad_when/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Opinions on Protein Bars
/u/pr3tty_vacant [5'4 | CW133.6 | 22.9 | GW 105 | 22F]
Created: Wed Oct 18 11:55:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/778by5/opinions_on_protein_bars/
---
Personally I love them because even though they can be up to 210cal I literally won’t eat anything for the rest of the day. I can do days at a time with a Quest Cookies n cream bar and a 10cal black instant coffee (its 10 cal because French Vanilla & I put coconut oil in it).
What are you guys’ opinions? I haven’t weighed myself in ages so I don’t know if I’ll actually lose weight on this but we’ll see. Fingers crossed!
[Thinspo] Does anyone here have her meal plan? Does she actually eat? Is it magic?
/u/-M00nFlower
Created: Wed Oct 18 11:44:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77898v/does_anyone_here_have_her_meal_plan_does_she/
---
https://i.redd.it/n2tpapbjlmsz.png
[Rant/Rave] Friend is getting engaged
/u/chocolate_9_T [5"0 | 109😭 | 21.1 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 18 11:44:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77894b/friend_is_getting_engaged/
---
And I need to lose weight.
Naturally you'd think I'd be happy that my friend is going to be getting married soon and stuff but my first thought was ... fuck ... I need to lose weight. This is serious.
I am so happy for her but I just can't shake this thought out of my head urgh ..
Pointless post but yahhhh
[Discussion] Does anyone else do this with their food?
/u/demonofequality [5'5"| CW: 125 | GW: 115 | 21.05 | -25 lbs| F]
Created: Wed Oct 18 11:39:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7787tp/does_anyone_else_do_this_with_their_food/
---
Sorry for the super vague title, I didn’t know how to phrase it in a small amount of characters.
So I’ve always done this but I don’t know if it’s weird or kind of genius. It really only applies to a small group of heterogenous mixes of food - like salads or in my example parfaits but I know I do it with loads of stuff.
I will purposely order food knowing it has an ingredient in it that I don’t like, just so I can remove it. So this morning I got a strawberry banana parfait for breakfast. They come pre-packaged at my work in multiple fruit options: strawberry, strawberry/banana, blueberry, etc and have chunks of fruit mixed with yogurt and granola.
I don’t like bananas. But I pick the banana one because I then get to remove the bananas reducing the total calories in it (although small) and because I picked something with a food I know I will remove, I get something overall with a smaller mass of food because the bananas took up space that other calories could have.
It’s dumb because I could get the one I like and just not eat the whole thing. But I know my mind doesn’t work like that and that I don’t have that kind of self control.
I get jalapeños and beans in my salads knowing I’ll pick them out. Chunky tomatoes in sauces and salsas. Mushrooms in stews. I have a whole subconscious list of foods I don’t like that I pick out of food but never just ask to omit.
[Tip] Black pepper
/u/Glazed9000 [5'7' | 125 |]
Created: Wed Oct 18 11:34:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7786nt/black_pepper/
---
Since people eat salt for electrolytes, why stop there. Black pepper has potassium and aids in digestions. Tastes great on its own or in any recipe. Super random thought, but I just had a newfound appreciation for it while drinking some broth today haha.
[Rant/Rave] I'm only in a good mood if I'm fasting/restricting
/u/CoconutTime [5'4 | 128lbs | 22 | binger | f]
Created: Wed Oct 18 11:30:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7785j8/im_only_in_a_good_mood_if_im_fastingrestricting/
---
It's like I'm two different people.
One person who has control. She's happy and confident and says yes to plans. She wears cute clothes and does her makeup. She sometimes looks in the mirror and feels beautiful. She drinks a lot of water and eats almost nothing.
The second person has no control. She ignores everybody and withdraws herself from everything. She wears baggy clothes, her hairs a mess, and she doesn't dare look in the mirror. She stuffs her face with food that stopped tasting good an hour ago, but she needs to finish it. She hates herself.
My rational brain knows there is a person who lives in between these two. One who has control, but doesn't deprive herself. But it's like I'm stuck being one or the other, so I might as well be the first girl.
[Help] How to fix major bloating and constipation issues from heavily restricting...
/u/thescarletlettergirl [5'3 | CW 108 | UGW 90 | 18 F | ]
Created: Wed Oct 18 10:58:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/777xfz/how_to_fix_major_bloating_and_constipation_issues/
---
I've been eating 500 cal or less for the past few weeks and I've only been able to make a BM after taking laxatives. It's been 7 days and I still haven't gone. I am literally so constipated that my stomach is very extended and it looks like I'm pregnant. I am also starting to feel pains. I don't want to get addicted to laxatives, but I do not know what to do at this point. The bloating is also triggering me into wanting to eat even less, which I know is just going to make the constipation even worse. Someone anyone please help lol, also sorry if this subject isn't appropriate.
[Rant/Rave] I got told by a friend who is a nurse that my ED is just a bad habit
/u/Vixen_Lucina [Height 5'10"| CW 266 | GW: 145| -12 ibs|F]
Created: Wed Oct 18 10:07:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/777ke5/i_got_told_by_a_friend_who_is_a_nurse_that_my_ed/
---
I was expecting support because of the medical background but instead I get told that eating disorders are just fancy terms for bad habits and you can quit any time with enough willpower.
I mean, I would love to quit. I'm trying but all I get is worse and worse. Is he right and I'm just weak willed? It isn't like I want to binge and purge. It feels like nobody gets it. He isn't the only friend who has told me similar. Another friend said it is just a choice and I just need to choose not to do it. I feel like maybe i'm just weak. If I mention my schizoaffective disorder everyone understands but why does nobody understand the ED and treats it like it is just a choice and a bad habit?
[Discussion] Recklessness Around Food (But Not the Eating Part)
/u/kvikerdragen [5'6.5" | 22F | CW 121.6 | GW 118 | HW 182]
Created: Wed Oct 18 09:21:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77793e/recklessness_around_food_but_not_the_eating_part/
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So I've recently come to notice that I do some pretty dumb stuff when I cook (Which I cook a full dinner every night because of the family). Like, for example, I have little regard for getting minor burns. I'll allow myself to be splashed with hot oil, or I'll dip my finger in near-boiling water, or touch hot dishes. Things like that.
The thing is, I don't exhibit these behaviors in the rest of my life (Generally at least). It's just in the kitchen.
My first thought is that it's sort of a self-harm behavior, to punish myself for doing things that involve food, but I'm not wholly satisfied with that as the answer.
Does anyone else have similar experiences to this, or any possible insight?
[Rant/Rave] Super morbid thought and possibly triggering.... I'm incredibly portable and low cost cargo
/u/ElectroFlannelGore
Created: Wed Oct 18 09:13:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7776y3/super_morbid_thought_and_possibly_triggering_im/
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I've fasted for 38 days before and only stopped because I was an idiot for a couple weeks and messed up my electrolytes.. ended up ranting for hours about how I was going to become a serial killer targeting pedophiles on the cards sent to your house when a sex offender moves in near you then throwing up Exorcist style before my roommate realized what was happening around him.. anyways.. I was just thinking of taking a trip. But my life is basically just garbage... I'm unemployed, waiting for SSI appeals, medically a trainwreck... But I can get some money donating PLASMA (that's a whole other story of getting paid 60$ to scream,"I'M NOT GOING TO DIE IN A PLASMA CLINIC" and then leave...), Get a train to my surviving sister's or a friend's and just reconnect with some people... Do something different... And it hit me how cheap it will actually be. I can go somewhere and at minimum with no intervention be zero cost for 30 days. I don't need to eat, water is free and crippling mental illness keeps you company wherever you decide to not sleep for days at a time! Life is pain -_-
[Rant/Rave] Soo...
/u/EatMyInsides
Created: Wed Oct 18 08:57:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7772yn/soo/
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(not sure what to tag this as, but I guess this will do)
I've been bingeing the past few days. I know it's because I've barely slept at all (finally got good sleep last night). Sadly I eat more when I sleep too little.
Anyway, I weighed myself today and thought I'd gained weight. Turns out I've lost weight!! Not much, but it's better than gaining. I'm quite happy about that.
Just wanted to share this with someone, and I don't really have anyone I can talk about this with. And everyone on this sub is so amazing and wonderful!! :)
[Rant/Rave] Meds & Restriction
/u/tattoosandcoffeee [5'3.75 | GW 108 | -15]
Created: Wed Oct 18 08:37:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/776yd3/meds_restriction/
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So I have anxiety & adhd..usually go hand in hand to some extent for most. I have a script for vyvanse and for ativan for anxiety. I have only taken my anxiety meds a handful of times as needed usually at night b/c it makes me drowsy. Well, Monday I decided i was over obsessing and decided to cut my pill in half and take that for the day instead of my vyvanse. Something strange happened...I was calm. I was center. My thoughts were clear. I didn't sit and obsess about food. In fact didn't care about it at all. I WAS NOT HUNGRY. All day. Completely suppressed my appetite in the same way the vyvanse does. Tried again Tuesday just to see if it was a fluke. Happened again. Fasted all day and now Im on day 3. Im coming to the realization that my axiety has been the cause of my weight gain over the last 2 years. Ive always maintained the same low weight and a couple years ago my world was flipped upside down and I think I've been emotionally eating and have not been able to restrict b/c how bad my anxiety has been. Has anyone else experienced this as well? Realizing your anxiety has a big effect on your appetite and thought process about food? I just wish I would have realized this sooner..Side note: hit my first LW in years last friday at weigh in and after 3 days fasting again this week, I should hit another goal this friday. My motivations are thanksgiving & seeing my family i havnt seen in months and hoping they notice, my big 30, and my anniversary. FINGERS CROSSED GUYS!!:)
[Rant/Rave] I'm so done with sabotaging myself.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 18 08:31:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/776x2x/im_so_done_with_sabotaging_myself/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] October 18th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 18 07:32:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/776js1/october_18th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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If you could have drinks with any living celebrity (or just person), who would it be?
[Help] Where have I gone??
/u/goawaychocolate [176cm | cw:70kg | hw:106kg | bmi:22.3]
Created: Wed Oct 18 07:30:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/776jg8/where_have_i_gone/
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I don't know what's been up with me the past two months?! I've been binging like a monster and purging at least a few times every day. And I hate purging! Why can't I restrict anymore?! Like, I mean I was able to lose almost 40kg since December but these days I've been binging on upwards of 4000 cal a day! It's like I subconsciously want to go back to being a gigantic lump!
Help me! Please!
My toothaches are starting to really worry me.
How do you guys stop the binge cycle? Any advice would be very much appreciated ❤️
[Rant/Rave] get outta my head
/u/bellexy [5'8 | tubbalub | -20 | GW 118]
Created: Wed Oct 18 06:49:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/776b2e/get_outta_my_head/
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(lol that reminded me of that [ashley simpson song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-bCN2ur3pg) )
anyway, total rant that you've already heard. you probably could have written this. i feel like a dweeb cause it's like a no-duh rant but whatever.
i am so tired of thinking about food. every second of every day. i think of food, what i'm gonna eat and when i'm gonna eat it,
how it will feel in my mouth, exactly how my stomach will feel afterward. (spoiler alert: i probably won't even wind up eating whatever it is.)
i daydream about food. i think about the salads and soups that i love. i fantasize over a particular burger i had at a restaurant a year ago. i imagine i'm eating nachos at my desk - just weirdly chewing nothing while i work on repair orders.
and i watch the clock obsessively.
i'll eat in fifteen minutes. and fifteen minutes pass and i'll wait til two to eat - when it's two o'clock i will definitely eat my apple. and then suddenly it's six o'clock and i still haven't eaten and i go home and i have some grapes before dinner and only eat half of my dinner that my husband made me so i can have dessert later and wind up feeling guilty about the stupid fuckin grapes so no dessert for me. or worse, i already fucked up by eating the grapes, let's inhale everything in the house.
i just want food to get out of my head.
can you believe that normal people *do not think about food this much?* HOW. how does that work. even when i was in recovery, all i thought about was food. how can someone just not think about it, just eat like a normal person without thought and be okay. teach me your secrets, oh sane ones, bless me with your knowledge (or lack thereof??? I DONT KNOW).
oh, and let's add on to this. I DONT WANNA THINK ABOUT POOP. i don't want pooping to be a religious rite of passage. i don't wanna plan laxatives around my social engagements. i just wanna poop like a normal person who DOESNT HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT.
and when you say it like, "oh yeah my favorite hobbies include imagining food in my mouth and then how awesome it'll be when i poop it all out. from gullet to toilet, that's my shit haha get it? my shit lol wait where did everyone go come back" but that's exactly what it is!!! how stupidly hilarious is that. well like funny and sad.
anyway
dear thoughts of food and post-food,
get out. go, shoo. bad brain. stop it.
love always, me.
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 18, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Oct 18 06:11:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7764gg/daily_food_diary_october_18_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 18, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday October 18, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Oct 18 06:10:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7764bd/way_to_go_wednesday_october_18_2017/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for October 18, 2017.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Other] UK PSA: New Covent Garden Soup
/u/fxckyouaurora [166cm|52kg|F24]
Created: Wed Oct 18 06:05:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/776380/uk_psa_new_covent_garden_soup/
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just tried the vegetable arrabbiata one and it was amazing. half the carton is 95 cal. seriously. I might die. it doesn't even load up on salt either which is rare.
http://newcoventgardensoup.com/what-we-make/skinny-range/skinny-vegetable-arrabbiata/
(sorry I'm kinda spamming, tell me to be quiet if you want)
[Discussion] Desk cycles
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Wed Oct 18 05:49:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7760kn/desk_cycles/
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Does anyone have any experience with desk cycles? It’s low impact so not much calorie burn but it’s something plus could help manage some anxiety. I could pedal at home when watching tv, etc but are they pretty worthless for upping calories?
[Rant/Rave] New strategy to get back on track...
/u/directi0nless
Created: Wed Oct 18 05:41:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/775zfd/new_strategy_to_get_back_on_track/
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This is my first time posting here, have lurked on and off for a year or so. I'm not even sure I belong here, I've never been diagnosed with an ED, but I have always had an unhealthy relationship with food to say the least.
I'm 5'6" (167 cm) and about 60-61 kg (132-134 lbs) last time I checked. Female.
I used to weigh a lot more, years ago, but successfully got my worst habits under control and now here I am.
I recognize that I am at a healthy weight and don't look fat or underweight, but part of me still wants to just... feel smaller. I don't want to be technically underweight, but close to it, at least.
I calculated the lowest BMI I could be before entering the underweight range and that has been my goal for a long time now.
Well, enough of that. I've been toying with the idea of trying a new strategy for a couple months now. I have a lot of problems with binge eating (I don't purge though). Instead of having normal meals and bingeing when I am offered food from coworkers which leads to snacking on high calorie food later, I'm going to try to not eat unless offered food.
I don't know how realistic this is... maybe I'll just cave in after a day and go back to maintaining my normal weight.
But, I feel like it could work. I'll wake up, my partner often cooks something in the morning for us. I'll go to work, and... just won't eat unless someone decides to order takeout. If they don't, well, I can always justify a couple hundred calories of something to keep me going.
To me this almost makes sense because the kind of food cooked at home and ordered in during work are large portions and high calorie, so even if I only end up eating one real meal the whole day, that's probably a solid 800+ calorie day right there. Why bother adding on another two meals plus snacks to bump that to 1500+ calories? That's just maintenance and I've been there for over a year.
I mean, I'm not hoping to only eat around 800 calories per day, but it's almost like if I hit 1200, it just keeps going. This way, I may have some pretty dizzy, low calorie days, but it should be somewhat balanced out by the days where I'm offered so much food I hit 1200+ anyway.
God, typing this out makes me want to just delete this before I post it and forget the whole thing.
I miss the feeling of emptiness and knowing that I've controlled my own behavior, the stomach grumbles are like an audio cue that I'm doing the right thing... similarly, stuffing my face with sugar/carb/fat/sodium laden junk food until I feel ill masks my negative emotions for a short period of time, and too often I choose that over the longer-lasting relief of putting the fork down.
Vent over...
[Discussion] Has anyone else been binging for a week?
/u/carlems [5'2| CW: 101,8 | GW: 97 | -19]
Created: Wed Oct 18 03:25:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/775gfz/has_anyone_else_been_binging_for_a_week/
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Please tell me I'm not the only one. Everyday at least 3000 calories or more and I'm afraid I'll never get clean from this mess. Has anyone binged for a long time and been able to get back on tracks after that?
[Help] Medication that makes you hungrier
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 18 02:56:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/775cok/medication_that_makes_you_hungrier/
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[deleted]
[Help] Feeling extremely faint, causes??
/u/ceillman
Created: Wed Oct 18 01:57:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77559n/feeling_extremely_faint_causes/
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Feeling extremely lethargic today to the point where I can't get out of bed without feeling dizzy and light-headed - I've eaten a sandwich and some carrots but have been restricting pretty heavily for a few months now and just wondering what might be causing this and what could help.
[Rant/Rave] Told my friend about my bulimia and trying to recover. So fucking pissed off.
/u/charredsouls
Created: Wed Oct 18 00:47:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/774w0w/told_my_friend_about_my_bulimia_and_trying_to/
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I did the most courageous thing I thought I could do to recover: I told my best friend I'm bulimic. She has been exhibiting some signs of a newly formed eating disorder and I really don't want her to go down that road. I've been warning her about the downsides of EDs without discussing my own, but I felt like I could have a greater impact if I could talk about my own shitty experiences with my 1.5 year stint with bulimia (it's been a nightmare).
I wrote this long text about how I'm bulimic, and I want to be a positive role model and be transparent so that they don't follow me down the same road. I hit send and needless to say my heart was beating as fast as it ever has. I felt the buzz of my phone and expected something positive with a "we'll get through this" attitude (my best friend is incredibly kind).
Instead, this was the gist of her text:
- why'd you tell me this late?
- I knew you had eating issues, but now you're puking and stuff?
- then finished off with I'm sorry about it
I was fucking pissed. I just laid my heart out on the line, not only for me but for her, and this is how she responded. I know it's not the worst, but am I wrong to feel angry because of it? I'm not trying to be controlling of someone else's emotions, but to start your response with why'd you tell me this late feels so damn insensitive to what I'm saying. Like I just told you I have eating issues where I fucking throw up all my food and you're worried about the time?
I don't know why I did this, and it feels like a mistake. I don't know what the point of this post was, but I needed to vent. :(
[Discussion] I [29M] have a skinny fetish. Confession.
/u/I_drink_boba
Created: Wed Oct 18 00:23:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/774suo/i_29m_have_a_skinny_fetish_confession/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] So this happened today...
/u/crumpet9 [5'3 | cw: 103 | 21f]
Created: Wed Oct 18 00:22:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/774sld/so_this_happened_today/
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https://i.redd.it/q6gdddzo7jsz.jpg
[Discussion] I’m terrified of Fat in food.
/u/spookster6
Created: Tue Oct 17 22:32:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/774bkq/im_terrified_of_fat_in_food/
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[removed]
[Help] constant stomach pains and nausea? tmi?
/u/supercoolandfunguy
Created: Tue Oct 17 22:25:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/774aan/constant_stomach_pains_and_nausea_tmi/
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[removed]
[Discussion] let’s talk appetite suppressants
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 17 22:20:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7749ho/lets_talk_appetite_suppressants/
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[removed]
[Other] Told my closest guy friend about my eating disorder
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 17 22:12:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/774802/told_my_closest_guy_friend_about_my_eating/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Anyone else have trouble binging after a long period of restriction?
/u/grave_stoned [6'1" / F / CW: 163 / GW: 140]
Created: Tue Oct 17 21:30:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77401h/anyone_else_have_trouble_binging_after_a_long/
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Title.
I always build up these special, amazing binges in my head while I'm restricting, but as soon as I get them all set up and waiting, I can hardly eat.
Like tonight, I've been dreaming about meatballs FOREVER, and I made a special trip to the store to get spaghetti ingredients to go with them. I was all set up with a MASSIVE bowl of spaghetti, the meatballs cooked in oil, butter, and all the seasonings I never let myself have; I tuck in with my favorite show on and I could barely get through 1/4 of it without getting dizzy and wanting to vomit. I've done this several times and it's always so disappointing, like I can barely succeed at restricting for so long, and then I can't even have the things I really want? What the fuck is wrong with my body dude, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? EAT OR NOT EAT? this is complete ass. It makes me nervous that I've possibly hit a point where my body can't handle normal amounts of food anymore, and that's scary. I'll probably just purge it because the calories weren't even worth it and that's all I'm fucking good at anyways. Anyways, rant over.
Does anyone have the same problem?
[Help] Help I just had a huge binge???
/u/cokesyrup [6'0 | CW: 173 | -35lbs | M]
Created: Tue Oct 17 21:23:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/773yjq/help_i_just_had_a_huge_binge/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Evening Binges
/u/calmlyranting [5'5 | Fluctuating | F]
Created: Tue Oct 17 21:02:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/773ubw/evening_binges/
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Lately I've been trying to eat on the lighter side of normal, but it seems no matter what I ate during the rest of the day I always end up binging some time in the evening. I purged the last two days and just feel awful. I'm starting to wonder why I eat the rest of the day if it all ends the same anyway. Probably because I'd just end up bingeing twice a day. I'm so sick of myself. I'm glad I at least have this sub to rant to.
[Help] Ugh summer
/u/blondebynature [5'3" | CW: I'm scared of scales | GW: 90 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 17 20:51:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/773s14/ugh_summer/
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Hey everyone it’s been a while since I’ve been active but I’m having a bit of a crisis at the moment.
So it’s starting to get warm in Australia. Super warm. And normally I hate summer and having to go outside and sweating like a pig and so on. But usually I just suck it up and get super cranky for a few months. This week is different though, I’m so terrified of going out in public I’ve been avoiding it as much as I can. I feel too fat to be outside and it’s never been this bad before. Maybe it’s the added stress since my dissertation is due soon but I snapped at my boyfriend for offering to take me out for coffee (not even any calories involved). Does anyone have any advice on dealing with these fears? Or maybe clothing ideas where I can cover up but not overheat?
It’s been posted on here before but I feel too old to be dealing with these stupid insecurities. Thanks in advance, once again you guys are all so lovely and I don’t know what I’d do without you.
[Rant/Rave] Why must it be like this
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 17 20:47:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/773rdm/why_must_it_be_like_this/
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[removed]
[Help] Tips for suppressing binges/cravings?!!
/u/whatsename
Created: Tue Oct 17 20:44:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/773qoe/tips_for_suppressing_bingescravings/
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[removed]
[Help] how do i restrict without binging the next day? 😭 this has happened so many times :(
/u/fatalss
Created: Tue Oct 17 19:44:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/773ehh/how_do_i_restrict_without_binging_the_next_day/
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https://i.redd.it/97yk1s28uhsz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I give up
/u/ohwellolivia
Created: Tue Oct 17 19:28:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/773ask/i_give_up/
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We’re out of town. My calories are always a little higher when we’re away because we go out to eat, but I’ve been doing SO well, sticking to mainly veggies and an occasional roll of sushi. Today, I had vegan food. A salad, half a serving of vegan Mac and cheese...I was full but felt okay about it. I bought a piece of vegan banana bread to eat for dinner later that night. More than I usually have but I was feeling alright.
Until I took a bite of the banana bread, and my sister in law said “oh my god, stop eating already.” ONE. BITE. Aaaaand I’m never eating again. All her friends are here too and they all laughed and I’ve never been so mortified.
I want to cry. I really do. But I’m surrounded by people. All I know is that I’m done. I try to be normal. I try to eat on vacation like a real person. And I just get made fun of. I’m hurt, I’m embarrassed, and I’m NEVER eating again. Fuck.
Edited to add that I was also just informed that someone very close to me is on her deathbed and I’m not there. I feel sick.
[Other] Just feeling really sad over an honest comment
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Tue Oct 17 19:24:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/773a1j/just_feeling_really_sad_over_an_honest_comment/
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It was soooooo cold in my classroom today that I wore a thin jacket all day and was shivering. One of my students ( on the spectrum) said "oh come on your not that skinny to be that cold" , but because of that I took it as sheer honesty . This individual says it how it is.
I'm just so upset and feel disgusting and so depressed.
[Help] Trying to get back in control
/u/Uppity-Kitten [5'2" | CW: 72kg |BMI30| GW50kg | 20F]
Created: Tue Oct 17 18:52:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77330n/trying_to_get_back_in_control/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Ordering groceries online
/u/library-cat [5'6"| gross| GW??? | 21F]
Created: Tue Oct 17 18:35:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/772z86/ordering_groceries_online/
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Between my tiny college budget, lack of a car, and my indecision, grocery shopping is always A Production for me. It usually involves asking one of my friends to drive me to the store (which makes me feel awkward and guilty) and paying them back in beer or gas money or something. BUT I just started ordering groceries online (peapod specifically) and OH MY GOD I wish I had started doing this sooner. No more agonizing over calorie counts in the aisles, picking things up and putting them back over and over, or feeling embarrassed about how long I've been there. I can add/drop things from my cart as much as I'd like plus the nutrition facts are listed for everything so I can be as picky as I want. It's honestly a godsend. I feel like such a dork for being this excited about groceries but it's so great!!
Plus I really like online shopping so this satisfies that itch too. score!
[Rant/Rave] *pats booty* "The avocado goes right here."
/u/numba1chief_rocka [5'6" | CW 125 | GW 108]
Created: Tue Oct 17 18:34:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/772z01/pats_booty_the_avocado_goes_right_here/
---
Or, as an alternative title: My boyfriend, the moron.
I've been painfully open with my boyfriend about two things since I've moved in with him 1) my dermatillomania 2) my eating disorder. And, let me tell you, I would sell my soul to Satan if it meant I could undo it.
It's not that he isn't supportive, he just doesn't know when to turn off his joke-y, sarcastic comments. I've told him ad nauseam that these two things are off limits because I'm very sensitive about them and those kinds of comments trigger me. But, still, he doesn't censor himself and that makes days like today that much more difficult. Days when I'm feeling stable and in control can take a 180 degree turn in a snap. They almost invariably do because despite my efforts to eat normally and stop restricting I still have horrible body image issues.
Fuck this fucking shit. It's making me reevaluate what is otherwise a great relationship that I want to be a part of. But the fact that he doesn't know when to stop poking fun (even when I've explained to him in gory detail what I'm going through) suggests a lack of empathy that should be a massive red flag.
[Tip] Bumblebee tuna packets
/u/fluentsyntax
Created: Tue Oct 17 18:07:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/772spx/bumblebee_tuna_packets/
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Does anyone else buy those bumblebee tuna packets? They’re about 60-70 cal, 0 fat, and 12-14 grams of protein. I’ve found them helpful during times when I want to binge or when I’m getting annoyingly hungry. I usually can only eat half a pouch in one setting and I’ll save the rest for later.
They’re also nice to put in small salads and they come in versatile flavors. I love the Thai chili flavor.
I checked out the ingredient list, and it’s pretty simple and reasonable. They take a while to expire, so I’ve been stocking up!
I’ve also gotten salmon packets from a different brand.
Anyway, they look like [this](https://jet.com/product/detail/471d6f8688ba4d05996cba4c60721040?jcmp=pla:ggl:JD_cons_Gen_Grocery_a3:Grocery_Canned_Jarred_Food_Canned_Meat_Seafood_a3:na:PLA_786070974_46630713488_pla-290891994462:na:na:na:2&code=PLA15&pid=kenshoo_int&c=786070974&is_retargeting=true&clickid=02ed6f22-a7b8-429e-8b9c-130e5c652ddb&gclid=Cj0KCQjw1JbPBRCrARIsAOKj2Pm5Zh6UB6dBhgq2Uif2UTDNya88JkL7WNveZVcWs7eueq-yHBHxmgEaAtkaEALw_wcB)
Just thought you all should know!
[Discussion] October 17th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 17 17:50:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/772p86/october_17th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What’s the most valuable thing you own?
(Ugh sorry it’s so late everyone, I forgot to look this morning)
[Help] Website where you can find body pics of a certain type of body height/shape/weight?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 17 17:49:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/772p3j/website_where_you_can_find_body_pics_of_a_certain/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] insulted for being too tiny to have sex with
/u/sororityasian [5'4" | -5lbs | GW: 110lbs]
Created: Tue Oct 17 17:28:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/772kgf/insulted_for_being_too_tiny_to_have_sex_with/
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Last night I was talking to this grad student from school, and he kept pissing me off and upsetting me for some reason - since I'm so anti social at school it's a big step for me to even talk to people at school - and I just had an anxiety attack and went fucking psycho. I have a gone wild account that has about 1000 followers on it and I told everyone to just insult me because I was such in a bad mood that I needed to feel even worst lol.
Anyways I have a flat chest so it makes me look tinier than I am, but I do have a picture of my body that I still think to this day why the fuck did even bother posting it.
This guy was messaged me "youre so skinny and tiny why would anyone want to have sex with you". And basically all the other insults were about how small boobs were and how big my nipples were and for being a psychotic girl. I mean ya it sucks but I guess I'll take it because my ED head says I finally did something right lololol
[Rant/Rave] My boss invited me to lunch tomorrow
/u/Para-Medic [5'1' | too much | too much |0 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 17 17:21:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/772ixi/my_boss_invited_me_to_lunch_tomorrow/
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I couldn't recover from a cold, I reacted badly to makeup remover and I had dental work done over the course of 2 weeks. I looked terrible. I have a high level position in my area. I showed up rather than calling in only to be called sickly. Now she keeps coming by and asking me how I am. She wants me to go to lunch with her tomorrow. I have no choice. She thinks I'm depressed and she's right. She thinks I'm falling apart and she's right. I have to eat a normal meal tomorrow. I don't want to be noticed anymore.
[Discussion] HAS ANYONE TRIED THESE?
/u/skinnifat [5'4" | CW: 114 | UGW: 105 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 17 17:16:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/772hue/has_anyone_tried_these/
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https://i.imgur.com/hWSmM60.jpg
[Other] Day 1 of extended water fast. Will try to update regularly.
/u/luaquiet [5'4" | 132 | 22.7 | f]
Created: Tue Oct 17 17:10:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/772gm0/day_1_of_extended_water_fast_will_try_to_update/
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[removed]
[Help] Doing a 15 hour fast, can I have honey in warm lemon water
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5'4" | 125 | 21.4 | GW: 115 | NB]
Created: Tue Oct 17 17:04:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/772f83/doing_a_15_hour_fast_can_i_have_honey_in_warm/
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[removed]
[Help] Unable to fast?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 17 16:56:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/772dak/unable_to_fast/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I'm never eating yolk again...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 17 16:53:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/772crf/im_never_eating_yolk_again/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] How are you all feeling about the "me too" posts lately? (TW)
/u/thinandmint [5' | 104.2 | GW 95]
Created: Tue Oct 17 16:48:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/772bj2/how_are_you_all_feeling_about_the_me_too_posts/
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Kind of off topic but seeing all the "me too" posts on facebook has got me thinking a lot about how sexual objectification and sexual assault play such a significant role in developing my eating disorder. I know everyone has their own reasons but it just makes me so mad that being objectified by society since day one has contributed to much of our suffering. What are your thoughts?
[Other] Well I guess this is a I effed up today thing idk
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'3"|110| 25F]
Created: Tue Oct 17 16:20:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7725f3/well_i_guess_this_is_a_i_effed_up_today_thing_idk/
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I almost called up a psychiatrist today because my doctor recommended some for me (per my request bc this dr barely sees his patients but that's another story lol)
But at the last minute I decided I didn't want any help and that it would be pointless if I didn't want help so I closed that door on my ass
Yet my GI system doesn't think so and that hazy brain fog still lingers bc I broke my rule today to not purge on days I work
Who's in control now
:/
[Help] my mom keeps buying junk food she won’t eat
/u/ScrunchiesandDraino [5'8" | 262.8 | 40 | GW:160 | 20F]
Created: Tue Oct 17 16:15:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7724as/my_mom_keeps_buying_junk_food_she_wont_eat/
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this has been a problem for me since i started my ED behavior in high school. I would try to restrict and not eat junk but my mom was close to 400 lbs and ate ice cream every single night and chugged soda like it was nothing. my stepdad also bought junk constantly for my mom because it made her happy, but she wasn’t the only one eating it. can you guess who eats/are a lot of the junk food brought into the house? DING DING DING ITS ME.
a few years ago my mom got weight loss surgery and it sent me into binge/restrict mode IMMEDIATELY, i was terrified to have to get a surgery to correct my weight, i still am.
however, she lost the weight but junk food for me, my dad, and my brother still comes into the house. It is so fucking hard to keep to a calorie goal when binge-worthy food is literally crammed into my kitchen. i sometimes ask for specific food for myself (diet pepsi, granola bars, low fat yogurt, fruit i like) but who cares about your calorie goal when someone just bought 4 pints of rocky road ice cream!!
it’s just really hard, plus she’s excited that i’m losing weight, but she doesn’t believe me when I say I like almond milk or protein bars or low cal stuff.
i just don’t know how to ask for more low cal stuff &
i also don’t want her to know that i’m restricting bc she doesn’t understand my ED. sorry if this is rambly this just popped into my head and no one else would get it but y’all
[Help] losing weight more slowly at a lower bmi?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18| f | 22]
Created: Tue Oct 17 15:29:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/771thi/losing_weight_more_slowly_at_a_lower_bmi/
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maybe this is a stupid question, but do you lose weight more slowly at a lower bmi/weight since you have less body fat to lose? i feel like i'm barely losing weight despite eating around 600/700 calories per day. sometimes i go up to around 1200 on the weekends (so 1-2 times per week), but still below my maintenance so idk. honestly what is this ridiculous amount of calculation we all do with calories and maintenance and exercise lmao
[Rant/Rave] "If you make me choose between my body and yours, you will lose"
/u/Size666 [5'8F | Walrus | -41lbs | UGW: 117]
Created: Tue Oct 17 15:29:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/771th8/if_you_make_me_choose_between_my_body_and_yours/
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So. That actually came out of my mouth and I think I'm realizing how insane I sound right now.
This happened about 48 hours ago. I was in bed with the new guy in my life, blabbing about plans for the week and I casually mentioned that I was going to start a fast because I've been drinking like my body is 70% booze and my liver needs a break (in reality, I gained like, 8lbs and I've been hungover since August so I really just need to get back to restricting). Why did I do that. My comment made him concerned/angry/confused and he ultimately said something that amounted to, "That's a really bad idea. Anorexics do that. You're fine."
1. LMAO
2. What?
3. No. You don't get to decide what I'm doing with my body.
So I let him finish his speech and I basically told him that he will lose if he tries to make me decide between seeing him and keeping my ED in my life.
We've talked since then and it hasn't come up but now I feel like that wasn't my brightest moment. I don't need someone on red alert right now, watching what I eat. I am still too far from GW to be slowed down, and I'm finally getting back to restricting after months of binge eating. It sucks dealing with this because I know what's going to happen. It will take another moment - maybe noticing my weight loss, or noticing that I'm not eating, or some comment or something that I slip up on - and he's going to make it a thing...and if that happens, I have to go. I can't risk being distracted.
This is such a lonely, awful life to live right now, but if I can just make it to GW, everything is going to be ok. I can just feel it.
[Help] CLA experiences?
/u/iamhamming
Created: Tue Oct 17 15:26:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/771snv/cla_experiences/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Fucked up all my progress
/u/sadnddisordered [5'10.5 | 126 | 17.59 | -7 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 17 15:00:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/771lyy/fucked_up_all_my_progress/
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I got down to 126. Lost 7 pounds in under a week. I should've known it wouldn't last. Kind of binged all weekend - ate 1200 calories or less, but then drank at least 500, more like 1000 every day and now i'm back up to 130
And its not distributed obviously, its all in my stomach so i have the hugest potbelly and I got my period so that makes it even worse. I'm so bloated and hungry and disgusting. I keep having pizza for breakfast because I can't control myself.
I see my kind of boyfriend on thursday and i'm so scared for him to see me naked when I look this disgusting.
Sorry just needed to rant
[Discussion] Do you tell people about your ED/ What do you say if people ask?
/u/Kimstephaniejane [5'5" | CW: 124 | GW: 106 |F]
Created: Tue Oct 17 14:47:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/771isv/do_you_tell_people_about_your_ed_what_do_you_say/
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Generally, people don't bring it up to me, but after nearly 8 years those closest to me already know. I also feel as if the stigma, for me, has worn off and I'm generally able to just tell people the truth and shrug it off with minimal impact on either party. Do you guys have a different approach? I know its an extremely taboo subject so I'm interested to hear how else it is handled. :)
[Help] I have a huge pot of ramen cooking (WHY??) and I do and don't want to eat it...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 17 14:30:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/771ejn/i_have_a_huge_pot_of_ramen_cooking_why_and_i_do/
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[removed]
[Discussion] I stayed under 1100 calories yesterday
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Tue Oct 17 14:25:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/771d8z/i_stayed_under_1100_calories_yesterday/
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Which is a miracle considering I got stoned before bed. Usually I wake up an hour later and binge on shit. I'm super depressed as I have a huge sexy Halloween party on Saturday and I don't know if I want to go. I feel like a sausage in my skin. There's no way... fuck. Fuck fuck.
Also do we have a recipe thread? For safe goods and flavor dupes? I think it's a good idea
[Rant/Rave] Unintended Consequences
/u/clovenpine
Created: Tue Oct 17 13:46:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7713as/unintended_consequences/
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So I became vegetarian for two reasons: one, to save calories from meat (seriously, I'm saving 200-400 cal/day just by cutting out meat); and two, because it's much easier to refuse food in social settings ("Oh no, there's nothing I can eat here, it all has meat in it! Y'all go ahead and I can have something at home.").
Unintended consequence: when I do try to order anything, all the vegetarian options are covered in cheese or rich sauces or avocado and just as high in calories as the meat-based dishes I'm avoiding.
I suppose I could go vegan, but that would make my life even harder as 200 of the 600 cal/day I actually eat come from fat-free cottage cheese and canned tuna.
UGH. WHY DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN MY FOOD CHOICES TO PEOPLE?
[Tip] My new approach to suppress binges
/u/kein-08-15
Created: Tue Oct 17 13:41:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77129h/my_new_approach_to_suppress_binges/
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I started a thing: I made 2 lists one for food that is worth it and one for food that isn’t.
Every time I eat something that I don’t like and that’s high in cal/ expensive (gotta save money bc I’m broke) and I don’t love it I put it on the list of foods that aren’t worth it. On the other hand if there’s something high cal i really love I put it on the worth it list.
I have to be brutally honest with myself but like that I noticed I buy groceries less impulsively and I’m less tempted to get something I won’t 100% enjoy. Also it helps to suppress my cravings. E.g. right now I’m thinking that a donut would be nice but donuts are on the ‘not worth it list’ so I remember how disappointed I was last time and I don’t want it anymore.
[Discussion] DAE have problems purging in public restrooms?
/u/dbk1982 [5'2" 35F |SW 215 | CW 208 | LW 140| UGW 115 ]
Created: Tue Oct 17 13:27:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/770ypd/dae_have_problems_purging_in_public_restrooms/
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[removed]
Having a hard time throwing up
/u/Maskedwarrior456
Created: Tue Oct 17 13:23:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/770xq5/having_a_hard_time_throwing_up/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Singing teacher called me fat
/u/futureskinnybitch123 [Height 167cm | CW 75.2kg | GW 50kg]
Created: Tue Oct 17 13:00:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/770rut/singing_teacher_called_me_fat/
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Well not in those words but it was heavily implied. I just. I try so hard. And I had a blip last week that I'm still coming out of and I just hate how that's ruined things and I hate my stomach and my legs and my chin and my fat fucking arms I hate it all and I just want it all fucking gone. I fucking hate it all. She's making me perform at a concert at Christmas as well. I'm gonna try extra hard. I have time to lose a little right?
[Rant/Rave] I wish I had a REAL disease, like a drug or alcohol addiction
/u/LostBrokenAndAfraid [5"10 | CW 195 | 170 | - 70 lbs | M]
Created: Tue Oct 17 12:58:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/770rbl/i_wish_i_had_a_real_disease_like_a_drug_or/
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Today's society seems so much more keen and sympathetic towards more "legitimate" problems like being addicted or having some other type of physical illness.
Eating disorders though? Nah, go fuck yourself. You just need to eat less!!! /s
If I could trade what I've got for something that's real, maybe someone would understand my pain.
EDIT: I'd just like to reiterate that I don't ACTUALLY want to have a drug or alcohol addiction. Both sides of my family have severe alcoholism problems, so I know the struggle because it defined my childhood. The point I'm making is that I'm frustrated that EDs aren't seemingly treated or taken as seriously as other problems like this. That was the crux of my initial post.
[Rant/Rave] And here i was all ready to start treatment...
/u/sp_600 [5'7🌻104🌻16.5🌻20f]
Created: Tue Oct 17 12:46:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/770oe8/and_here_i_was_all_ready_to_start_treatment/
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I am getting ready to start intensive day treatment this week. I was feeling really hopeful and proud of myself for taking this big, scary step.
This morning though, my mom decided that she just had to start needling at me about it. She asked me “doesn’t anybody just decide to power through it” and implying that I would fail out of the program just like I flunked out of school.
I feel like an idiot for thinking for even a minute that I had hope. I am so angry at her for taking the wind out of my sails.
[Discussion] TMI poop questions
/u/fuckingusernamee [4'11 | 115| 23.2| F]
Created: Tue Oct 17 11:49:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7709nz/tmi_poop_questions/
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Everything I eat goes right through me, even though its often small amounts at a time. If I don't purge after eating, less than 30 minutes later I have to use the bathroom and it's usually liquidy. I stopped abusing laxatives about a week and a half ago, but I never used them heavily, just whenever I had to eat in front of people and couldn't purge immediately. DAE experience this, too? What is causing this? Sorry for the gross question but I don't know who else to ask!
[Rant/Rave] I accidentally sent a super thin girl from my class a picture of my disgusting legs please shoot me :)))
/u/PM_M3_UR_SECRETS
Created: Tue Oct 17 11:43:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/770849/i_accidentally_sent_a_super_thin_girl_from_my/
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I sent her a picture of my class notes because we have an exam tomorrow and I was sitting down and didn't realize you could see my naked thighs at the bottom and even a bit of my fucking stomach hanging over. There's some fabric covering my stomach but it's tight and black and it's so obvious that it's my stomach and it looks fucking disgusting. Especially sitting down it looks so bad. She'll notice it 100% and she'll probably show it to someone and everyone will make fun of me. I mean it's not like they don't know that I'm fat but now they get to see it up close lol that's so great :))
And I was actually kind of in a good mood today cause I got some schoolwork done finally and I had my first ~750 cal day after a bunch of 1200+ ones and now I'm freaking the fuck out. I don't even really have a fucking ED and I don't have the right to rant here at all but I just don't know any other place that would understand.. I'm fucking freaking out this is so stupid. If I was skinny I wouldn't care at all if my thighs and stomach were in a photo.
[Rant/Rave] Thank you all
/u/schoolgirlqt [5'6.5" |120lbs| BMI:19.1 |21F]
Created: Tue Oct 17 11:20:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/77027l/thank_you_all/
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I felt so down about my body the other day with the guy I was seeing and the guy at the club both making comments on my body last weekend. I have been working so hard to recover, for me that is not counting calories or going hungry. I have made so much progress, after 5 years of EDNOS. I haven't reverted to counting cals and after MONTHS of eating 'til satisfaction, I finally have somewhat of a grasp on my hunger cues. I have muscle and an attractive/feminine amount of fat. I'm warm and have a sex drive. I don't obsess about food. I have a stable amount of energy and I'm totally cool with it (EC stacking made me manic and when it wore off I crashed).
I came so close to breaking down on Sunday... the GI issues didn't help. The comments on my post from the anonymous users on this sub reddit were so nice I could cry. Yesterday I skipped work, invited a friend over and decided to just "forget" about my body: that it didn't look good or feel good. I went to a comedy club and laughed and then had a healthy amount of sashimi, choosing tea over alcohol. I listened to my body.
This morning I was able to use the toilet without lax (HUGE deal for me) and can I say I look good and feel AMAZING.
I am so proud of myself for not giving in to the horrible coping mechanism that is an ED and substance abuse (stims, alc, lax). I am finally prioritizing me and my wellbeing and it feels so damn good. Recovery is a daily choice and it is NOT easy, but the further I get away from ed habits the happier life becomes.
Ugh, just, THANK YOU all so much for your support. I never expected this, especially from strangers lol. Thank you to everyone on proED that makes this space what it is. Love you guys and stay strong <3
[Discussion] Best low-cal breads?
/u/cinnamonbicycle [5'2 | F | 🍑: shakylittleleaf]
Created: Tue Oct 17 10:36:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76zr70/best_lowcal_breads/
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This weekend I'm going to have the opportunity to finally buy any bread type I want, without being chastised about "that's not enough calories!" and "why are you choosing that bread?" I'm very excited.
I've done some research and the lowest-cal brand I found are Healthy Life and Aunt Millie's, which are 35 cals per slice. Does anyone know if they're actually good? Or have any other recommendations? I'm in the US by the way.
[Intro] 🍑
/u/bby-flower
Created: Tue Oct 17 10:32:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76zq3w/_/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Does anyone else get nauseous just thinking about eating food?
/u/dhwkdjxjs
Created: Tue Oct 17 09:45:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76ze6i/does_anyone_else_get_nauseous_just_thinking_about/
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I had an iced coffee this morning and I can’t even think about planning my next calories because I don’t wanna think about food
[Discussion] For those of you with ADHD and are on medication, has the medication worsened or improved your ED symptoms?
/u/DidgeridoOrDie
Created: Tue Oct 17 09:40:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76zctu/for_those_of_you_with_adhd_and_are_on_medication/
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I was just started on Vyvanse yesterday for ADHD which my Dr. thinks is the primary source of my anxiety. With my ED I primarily restrict and exercise. My psychiatrist thinks that the Vyvanse will help my anxiety and will in turn decrease my ED symptoms. I'm skeptical because currently all its doing is decreasing my appetite.
[Rant/Rave] Saving my calories for something special
/u/RockinWeasel
Created: Tue Oct 17 09:37:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76zc3x/saving_my_calories_for_something_special/
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So, trying to restrict and I want to save my calories for something really special. But nothing is ever special enough. Nothing ever feels good enough. Those calories are precious. Today I ate 185 calories and none of it was worth it (1 plum, 1 fig, 1/2 a pot of soup). I don't want to go back to fasting because it makes me feel very drowsy and I have work to do.
I keep looking at food. Thinking about food. Reading cooking blogs. Nothing is good enough.
Why do I have to be like this?! Sorry for the rant.
[Help] Does this happen to anyone else?
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 155 | GW:118 | -11 | F24]
Created: Tue Oct 17 09:25:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76z9b8/does_this_happen_to_anyone_else/
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I feel like I'm hardcore restricting at 600 kcal/day give or take like 50. That's my target. I'm losing about 1-1.5lbs a week, which seems just like a normal amount of loss for someone high restricting. And I go to the gym a fair bit.
Is it cause I'm short? And what will happen when I go to maintenance? Will my maintainance be like 1000? And do any tall people wanna trade me their height for a quest bar (or three)???
[Rant/Rave] DAE get an awful bitter-sweet feeling when they make huge progress?
/u/Kimstephaniejane [5'5" | CW: 124 | GW: 106 |F]
Created: Tue Oct 17 09:17:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76z6pq/dae_get_an_awful_bittersweet_feeling_when_they/
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So I lost 6lbs this week. I've been travelling the country a lot, so I've been walking around cities rather than just lounging around my hometown. Due to this I've eaten very little and moved a lot. One half of me is happy about that weight loss but I know I lost it under irregular circumstances so a loss like that next week is highly unlikely and I can just see myself being disappointed in comparison. By making huge progress I up the pressure and then, I get demotivated when these fluke standards aren't a constant! Is anyone else this harsh on themselves/ that darn illogical?
[Help] Need advice to stop snacking at work
/u/naughtynugget [5' 3" | CW 113 | 20.0 | GW 110 | UGW 100 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 17 09:03:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76z3fb/need_advice_to_stop_snacking_at_work/
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[removed]
[Goal] Down to 61.5 KG
/u/RossBoss95 [6'0 | 135 lbs | 19 BMI |22 Male]
Created: Tue Oct 17 08:10:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76ys4f/down_to_615_kg/
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[removed]
[Help] What sort of at home workouts do you do?
/u/xwer15 [5'5| 142.6 | -18| GW:100| F]
Created: Tue Oct 17 07:37:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76ykyh/what_sort_of_at_home_workouts_do_you_do/
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I don't have access to a gym every day but I want to do workouts at home that don't always involve running. However I'm also paranoid about doing things like squats and abs because I've heard that if you're overweight but still do those muscle building workouts the muscle will build around the fat and you'll get that bulky look. Is that true? What at home workouts do you do?
[Other] Weight/fat distribution after gaining weight within an underweight BMI?
/u/smileyslimey [5'5 | 98 | 16.3 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 17 07:32:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76yjzn/weightfat_distribution_after_gaining_weight/
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I dropped some more weight recently and noticed that my ribs and the bones in my arms and legs and butt are becoming so prominent that it's starting to gross me out and impact my daily life. After that my mind clicked from restriction to eating and I ate so much that I gained like five pounds and I'm up to around 102 lbs. :(
I have noticed that every time I gain weight, it's on my belly and when I lose, I lose it from my arms, upper torso and legs. I used to be a pear shape but several weight gain and lose cycles have left me with an awful fat distribution :( I look like a skeleton but have a jiggly gut. It's awful. But when I try to starve away the belly fat I only lose in the places I'm already emaciated and have nothing to lose.
From recovery forums I read that the fat will distribute when maintaing a healthy weight but I find that so hard to believe :( I was thinking of trying to maintain 102 now but because this is still underweight and below my natural weight I don't know if that's gonna be enough for my body to distribute the weight evenly... probably not...
Does anyone have any experience with gaining weight *only* on the stomach while still being super thin everywhere else? Is there any way to avoid this?
Gaining weight is so hard as it is but I feel like it would be easier to deal with if it spread evenly... Having this weird disproportionate body is worse than being slightly bigger overall.
[Discussion] Accurate, Cheap Scale?
/u/aeroplanessky
Created: Tue Oct 17 07:03:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76ydty/accurate_cheap_scale/
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Ever since moving in to my appartment, I've been going off the wall because I no longer have a scale. I bought one, but every time I step on, the weight varies, sometimes up to five pounds! And now it doesn't seem to turn on, so that's a bust...
I was wondering if you guys has any cheap (less than $30, pref less than $20) scales that are also accurate? Especially if they're available on Amazon. I'm going out of my mind worrying.
[Discussion] DAE family nag really insensitively
/u/misterrazorz [159 | 44.4 | 17.9 | a]
Created: Tue Oct 17 06:26:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76y6th/dae_family_nag_really_insensitively/
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my mum basically stopped me to tell me 'your lips are too pale' and that if i keep 'eating yoghurt and soy milk' i will never 'recover' that really threw me. she said' you want to get better don't you, you want to be here with mum and dad, right?' gosh i feel so awful
what are some darned things people with whom you live have said to you?
What motivates you during fasting?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 17 06:22:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76y5z0/what_motivates_you_during_fasting/
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[deleted]
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday October 17, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Oct 17 06:10:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76y3x9/thinspo_tuesday_october_17_2017/
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Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 17, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Oct 17 06:10:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76y3vy/daily_food_diary_october_17_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 17, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Help] Fasting for the first time
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Tue Oct 17 05:25:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76xwhs/fasting_for_the_first_time/
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[removed]
[Discussion] What are your weird ED habits / hobbies / coping skills?
/u/subtleskeleton
Created: Tue Oct 17 05:08:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76xtor/what_are_your_weird_ed_habits_hobbies_coping/
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So, when I feel like shit ( like after a binge this weekend that left me up 2 lbs 😭😭😭) I love watching videos on YouTube of people making disgusting food. Like, whole bag of cheese, entire tub of cool whip stuff that my vegan low-carb ED ass would never eat. And then I estimate calories per serving and how many servings the average person would have and i add in stuff like a glass of soda or a dinner roll and feel better that I have not eaten like that since I met ED.
Like this video:
[simply sara](https://youtu.be/lWKTyIlYxVE)
I feel like such a judgemental person. My ED makes me such an awful human being.
What are your weird hobbies and coping skills? How does your ED make you awful?
[Help] binging
/u/nahhey
Created: Tue Oct 17 03:58:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76xjbv/binging/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Self sabotaging behavior... why?
/u/Che789 [5'8'' | CW: 110 | GW: 105 | -6 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 17 03:52:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76xils/self_sabotaging_behavior_why/
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I ate over 2000 calories of brownies yesterday... and it made me feel like absolute shit. I was home alone, wasn't triggered or anything, but I just decided to bake some brownies and then mindlessly shove them in my face while watching the office
Now it's 4:45am and I'm lying in bed wondering why I did that. Why would I choose to do something that goes entirely against everything I've been working towards. Thinking back to when it happened, I can't remember a clear motive, emotion, anything, it's all foggy. Maybe my mind is dying. Anyways, I've never binged before really and I'm hoping to have this not be a recurring thing.
Anyone with some insight on this topic or related struggles?
[Intro] Hi everyone.
/u/therosemcgowan
Created: Tue Oct 17 03:25:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76xewj/hi_everyone/
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I'm a 23 yo woman living in rural America. I've had issues with my body image / eating habits since I was a teenager. It's fair to stay I've been struggling with anorexia for over a decade. It would be nice to find some sort of support here with people who ain't judgmental.
[Help] Spooky Scary Confrontation
/u/RichardStarrkey [6'0 | CW:56kg | GW:55kg | M]
Created: Tue Oct 17 02:00:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76x3v2/spooky_scary_confrontation/
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'You need to gain weight,'
'You don't need to lose anymore.'
'You need to eat *this*'
'Why do you have to count calories?'
'You don't have to be so thin'
'You're not fat'
Dude fellas, when the words hit your ears, you clench. You're caught. How can you lie now? They fucking know! They can see it in your bones.
I'm a guy, I wanna be skinny like this girl and that girl. They don't get confronted in the middle of a meeting. Why confront me? Why guess my weight?
[Help] Scared of donating blood
/u/Popopom2
Created: Tue Oct 17 00:50:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76wu4r/scared_of_donating_blood/
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So I’ve decided to donate blood at my school’s blood drive and I’m scared that I’m going to binge. Last time I donated, I refused to eat and ended up fainting due to it. This time I’m going to eat a normal breakfast and lunch but the calorie counting aspect has hit me really hard. I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to faint but I don’t want to binge afterwards. Are there any tips on eating normal without binging or feeling extremely guilty? I’m desperate for any help.
[Rant/Rave] "It's basically a drug addiction."
/u/DoNotEatAllTheDonuts
Created: Mon Oct 16 23:19:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76wgga/its_basically_a_drug_addiction/
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I have a friend and I came out to him as having an eating disorder. He comes from a pretty wealthy family and really has no idea how the real world works. Anyway, I tried to be friends with him because he was a decent guy and his social skills were lacking so people kind of avoid him at my college. He noticed that I've dropped a significant amount of weight in the last month and I told him that I've been struggling with anorexia. He told me that anorexia is the same thing as a drug addiction. We argued for a bit and I told him what originally fueled my ED is growing up with two obese drug addicted parents, and not wanting to be like them. He informed me that must be where I get it from. I just can't. I'm so mad right now. This isn't an addiction. This is anxiety, depression and a slow suicide. I made the mistake of googling it and apparently a lot of people in the general public think eating disorders are an addiction. I feel disgusting. I really don't want to be lumped in the same group as my parents.
[Rant/Rave] Annoyed Rant + Plateau Advice
/u/LAsugarbee
Created: Mon Oct 16 22:23:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76w77n/annoyed_rant_plateau_advice/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Relapse/Recovery/away...
/u/sicklollipop
Created: Mon Oct 16 22:04:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76w3or/relapserecoveryaway/
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I'm currently visiting family for the first time in months. I'm in a major relapse and this is a place where i am... Beyond encouraged, my family is basically forcing me to eat. I'm using it as a main incentive to continue restricting and fasting. I feel like a terrible person over it but it's such a push to lose weight. It's a lot more complicated than I have said but.. I'll use this thread to reach out.
[Help] Awful start of this week...
/u/yasssunicorn
Created: Mon Oct 16 21:08:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76vt1q/awful_start_of_this_week/
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I’ve had exams for the past two weeks so i barely had time to meal prep/ healthy eating. I ate whatever i wanted and today after having my last exam i came home in tears and binged on chocolate cookies...
who else is struggling to start this week?
[Tip] Vora app!
/u/thatgirlwholikespink
Created: Mon Oct 16 20:55:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76vqp2/vora_app/
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Psa I just found an app called vora that let's you see a timer of your fasts and tracks them. It also let's you choose a goal amount of hours this is life changing.
[Discussion] Is it possible to keep low GI Diet low cal?
/u/TopCat1392 [5'4" |131.8| 23.07 😥|UGW:92.6 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 16 20:46:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76vovn/is_it_possible_to_keep_low_gi_diet_low_cal/
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[removed]
I'm going to try to come here every day
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 16 20:14:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76vimm/im_going_to_try_to_come_here_every_day/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] My coworkers are all starting diets WON'T STOP TALKING ABOUT FOOD [Rant/Rave]
/u/igby23
Created: Mon Oct 16 19:35:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76vafz/my_coworkers_are_all_starting_diets_wont_stop/
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My one coworker started out last week eating 1200 calories a day and this week she told me she's going to eat only 500 calories two days a week and tried to explain to me how that's good for you because fasting makes the body reset. I'm over here like YEAH, TOTALLY HEALTHY. It's making me competitive and want to start restricting again too, I had been doing really well and not bingeing too much, logging my food but a healthy amount, slowly losing a little less than a pound a week and now I feel like I have to lose at least as much as anyone around me but really more. They're also just constantly talking about what they're eating and asking what I'm eating and drawing so much attention to the food that it's making me panic and feel like I want to binge in the bathroom stall. It's bad enough to try to quiet my own constant inner dialogue but to hear them too it's like deafening and exhausting.
[Rant/Rave] I'm up 17kg since April. 10kg of that is in the last 3 months.
/u/violence2tranquility [6'2" | CW: 79 kg | GW: 65 kg | M]
Created: Mon Oct 16 19:31:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76v9pr/im_up_17kg_since_april_10kg_of_that_is_in_the/
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Every three months I donate blood. Since my last donation I am up 10kg, which takes it to a total of 17kg since April. To make it even more embarrassing, on their computer it lists "previous weight" and "current weight", so they've seen my weight balloon.
I've been looking at photos from earlier in the year. Back then you could see all my bones and veins. I took photos today and there is no more bone definition or veins. I just look soft and pudgy. I don't have good facial bone structure, so I need to be a low body fat otherwise my face looks grotesque.
I have 107800 calories to burn. I plan to kick start it by fasting for as long as possible and then eat around 1000 calories a day.
[Goal] Goal for Birthday
/u/Ladybeeortoise [5'6" | 109 |17.5 | GW: 105 | 34]
Created: Mon Oct 16 19:16:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76v6ki/goal_for_birthday/
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Ok so yesterday was a shit show. I went out to lunch and ended up with free bottomless mimosas. I knew I would need to eat to maintain appearances so I ordered a blackened fish wrap and just ate the fish and lettuce out of it. I ate a few fries (ok most of what were on my plate) but here's the kicker- I had 9 mimosas. NINE fucking mimosas! Ugh.. I don't even want to calculate those calories.
Needless to say when I got home, I ate some more (at least they were safe foods). I was so disgusted with myself that I ended up purging. I purged all my safe food along with some OJ (yaay mimosas). Ugh. I'm such a fucking lush with no self control My goal was to be at my goal weight or below by my birthday next month. Fuck.
[Discussion] Does anyone else drink Kava tea?
/u/aetolica [5'4" | F | 31]
Created: Mon Oct 16 18:47:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76v0g4/does_anyone_else_drink_kava_tea/
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I recently got some micronized kava tea to help with late night anxiety. It's been pretty helpful in that regard; a very subtle effect but I feel less anxiety when before I'd lay awake trying to breathe.
One side effect that I wasn't expecting is reduced appetite - like, I ate half a sandwich and stopped because I was full instead of eating just because it was there. If that had happened once, I'd think it was a coincidence. But it happened again, where I had only 3/4 of a meal. And today, half my lunch.
Note that I'm not restricting or ignoring hunger. I'm just not having the impulse to overeat or binge.
Curious what anyone else's experience has been. I'm hoping this miraculous side effect keeps up but I've had too many false hopes to believe it will help long term.
[Help] lost my period for a year and unprotected sex
/u/xxx07v
Created: Mon Oct 16 18:42:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76uzjg/lost_my_period_for_a_year_and_unprotected_sex/
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So it's been almost a year since I lost my period and my boyfriend forgot to use a condom last night, will there be a chance that I can still get pregnant?? I just took an emergency contraceptive Aftera but if I miss my period, does that mean I'm pregnant or is it still due to my restriction??
[Discussion] What will you do when you get to your goal weight?
/u/whatsupbuttercup5 [5' 3" | CW 108.0 | GW 95 | HW 124 | LW 98 | 25F]
Created: Mon Oct 16 18:39:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76uyrb/what_will_you_do_when_you_get_to_your_goal_weight/
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I'll binge an entire pizza and an order of cheese sticks. Then maintain. What about you guys?
[Help] zero vs vora fasting app?
/u/brita09234890235
Created: Mon Oct 16 18:31:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76ux9f/zero_vs_vora_fasting_app/
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I read about people using the zero fasting app, but when I searched it up in the play store all I could find is an app called Vora. Are they the same thing? Or is it only in the apple store?
[Tip] Spinach diet
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 16 18:22:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76uv58/spinach_diet/
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[removed]
[Discussion] What's everyone being for Halloween?
/u/Jtgonc [5'8 | CW : 166]
Created: Mon Oct 16 17:58:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76uq0t/whats_everyone_being_for_halloween/
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[Discussion] DAE not get as hungry?
/u/pumpkin_boots [H:163cm | SW: 74 | CW: 66kg | GW: 48kg | BMI: 25.52 | Age: 22F]
Created: Mon Oct 16 17:58:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76upyp/dae_not_get_as_hungry/
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At the moment I feel like I'm either starving after a 20hr fast and I've got the shakes and I'm nauseous (any tips to stop this lol?) or I'm just snacking for the sake of it. I've been under 800 cals the last week and honestly I haven't felt that hungry. I keep freaking out that I've forgotten that I've eaten something and didn't track it, or I didn't put enough calories in. Mostly when I've been bored I'll look for something to eat but even then I'm eating apples or slices of low-cal cheese or something.
[Rant/Rave] ew why does mcdonald's exist ffs
/u/seawardwaves [5'8" | cw~132 gw~115]
Created: Mon Oct 16 17:45:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76un4n/ew_why_does_mcdonalds_exist_ffs/
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ah so my mum just came home and brought me a hamburger from mcdonalds bc she 'figured i might be hungry' and i know she's really trying to be nice but i just can't eat right now. i can't. and now this burger is sitting in front of me and i feel bad throwing it out? i'm not gonna cave. it smells good but i'm not gonna. but i can't throw it out without her noticing.
this morning she asked me if i was actually eating. bc in the last little while i've turned down food a bunch of times to the point where it's frustrating her for some reason. and i'm already up like 2 lbs from eating a shit ton with my bf over the weekend so idkkkkkk what to do ugh send help
[Rant/Rave] "have you tried healthier ways to lose weight?"
/u/silverkel
Created: Mon Oct 16 17:08:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76uf53/have_you_tried_healthier_ways_to_lose_weight/
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Been doing a thing recently where I am telling some trusted friends honestly how I am doing, that I am restricting and that it can take its toll. My BFF's first response was, "Hm. Have you tried any healthier ways to lose weight?" I was so floored I didn't even know what to say. I'm not mad at her because she honestly thought that would help/was trying to help, but it really opened my eyes to how little people know about eating disorders. It makes it hard to talk to people also knowing that so many immediately jump to problem-solving mode. Even after I told her I did 4 months of regular counselling just to work on it and that I relapsed after a breakup, this was her first response. What did she expect me to say? "Oh my gosh, you are so right! I never even thought of ______ (insert exercising, yoga, healthy eating, etc)! Gee thanks for the advice I am 100% ok now and will be right on back to normal eating!" It's hard cause I didn't have the energy to open up the can of worms of why her response wasn't helpful aka get into the realities of an eating disorder and now I feel alienated from her, also not wanting to open up more. Just a little rant. How can people be so insensitive sometimes??!!?!?!?!
TLDR People know nothing about EDs and can be very insensitive when you open up to them.
[Discussion] What do you do to get back on track?
/u/gayishfish [5'7" | CW: embarrassing | BMI: high | -9 lbs | 23F]
Created: Mon Oct 16 17:06:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76uelu/what_do_you_do_to_get_back_on_track/
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[removed]
[Tip] 30 cal Kool-Aid
/u/water_77 [170cm | 19F]
Created: Mon Oct 16 16:50:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76ub57/30_cal_koolaid/
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I just found out about this. I didn't know this was a thing. There's a box of clear pouches of 30-cal berry kool-aid that I didn't know about! It's made with Stevia that's why. So if you're craving something sweet there's your answer. And if you don't like Stevia, regular old Kool-aid is 60 cal so either way it's all good :)
[Rant/Rave] You know what’s fun?
/u/ihatehickorysticks
Created: Mon Oct 16 16:26:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76u5pv/you_know_whats_fun/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Anyone else feel like they know when to stop?
/u/lavenderbruises [5'9"|CW 113| GW 105| BMI 16.45| 19F]
Created: Mon Oct 16 16:11:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76u27j/anyone_else_feel_like_they_know_when_to_stop/
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I know I'm underweight currently, but it's not affecting my health in anyway nor do I look scary thin.
I know that I will stop at my goal weight. I know that I won't go less than 100 pounds because A) I don't want to look like a literal skeleton and B) I don't want to die (not this way, at least).
I'm not going to be like those girls who look like bones with skin stretched over. I'm certain I’m not going to be like that. I know when to stop.
[Help] Is this going to work??
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 16 16:01:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76tzr7/is_this_going_to_work/
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[removed]
[Help] Feeling disgusting and used (NSFW)
/u/kaliolis [5'4 | CW: 51.1 KG | GW: 40 KG |19.4 | WL: 18.9 KG | F]
Created: Mon Oct 16 16:00:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76tzkz/feeling_disgusting_and_used_nsfw/
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Don’t really want to make this story all long and complex so here’s a really short summary: Set my Tinder up with a friend for the sake of the banter and irony, expected fuckboys messaging me, ending up actually using the app to boost my self esteem then I actually started talking to this one guy who is the most decent if not the only interesting guy out of everyone. 2 weeks in after all the suggestive flirting and sweet banter we’ve shared with each other, we met up and long story short we decided to make things official and get to know each other more as a couple.
Now, since we have had heart to heart convos with each other, he does have a vague idea of my eating disorder and offered to help out as I am “recovering”. It was really sweet of him and in all honesty I was slowly falling for this guy because he was an overall amazing person.
However, earlier we were flirting a bit and things got a bit out of hand soooooooo I helped him get off by talking to him over the phone and sent wanking material for him (picture of my bum)
It was great hearing him basically get off because of me but when we ended our call I just felt so disgusted with myself? I can’t exactly blame him because I have been teasing him a lot but I literally could not even look at myself in the mirror without feeling like crying? I thought maybe if I ate something I would at least feel better but instead I actually have no desire to eat at all as I just feel like this relationship is going to be based on sexual attraction now instead of the emotional connection that I absolutely need at the moment. I hate myself so much for getting so worked up on this but I can’t believe I sent pictures of my body to this guy who I basically just liked because of the attention he’s been giving me and now I just feel so taken advantaged of.
[Discussion] DAE start to go into binge mode if they eat something unplanned for?
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 87.8lbs | BMI 16.06ish | GW: 87lbs | 20F]
Created: Mon Oct 16 15:48:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76twsa/dae_start_to_go_into_binge_mode_if_they_eat/
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So for the past two days there has been free food at work. I work at a desk in a college setting, so I really don't ever have to deal with this...but oh my god. Someone was being nice and brought a huge amount of donuts and muffins from dunkin donuts to the desk. They're being kept in the back so employees can eat them whenever.
I did amazing yesterday. I didn't have any of it. Then, today, I felt so faint and hungry. I had 1/2 a blueberry muffin. I was so pissed immediately after I ate it.
It's been two hours now and I've been fighting off a very strong urge to binge. My total intake for the day is at about 620 calories including the muffin. I never eat at work. I also don't allow myself to eat muffins from dunkin donuts because they are so high calorie. I feel like my day has been ruined. This definitely has triggered me into wanting to say fuck it and bingeing.
Currently I'm staying strong. But does anyone else ever get like this? This is why I stick to a very strict schedule every day and only allow myself certain specific foods. Otherwise I always panic and go overboard.
[Discussion] resisting the urge to eat at night?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18| f | 22]
Created: Mon Oct 16 15:47:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76twe7/resisting_the_urge_to_eat_at_night/
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how do you guys resist the temptation to eat late at night? when i lived in a dormitory, it was easy to not eat after the dining hall closed at 8 p.m.; now i live off-campus and justify eating 100-200 calories after dinner since my total for the day is almost always less than 1,000. it makes me feel like i'm not losing the weight i gained on maintenance fast enough, i hate the feeling of going to bed full, and i feel like i barely have an e.d. if i'm just...eating at night when i'm hungry. maybe it's just a question of self-control. maybe i just need to find that iron willpower that i had last year.
[Rant/Rave] I am so so fucking done with this
/u/baby_green
Created: Mon Oct 16 15:32:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76tt3e/i_am_so_so_fucking_done_with_this/
---
I just can't stop. I hate this ED so much and I want to stop but I don't know how. I'm between doctors, my files are god knows where and I don't know when I can get help. I also still kind of feel like it's not a 'real' problem. My family have no idea and they make me eat food with OIL all over it but I feel SO guilty because I don't want to eat the food they make. A while back I was eating about a tablespoon full of vegetables per day and now I'm binging every fucking day. I used to purge, I don't anymore. I don't know what is wrong with me. I am not joking when I say I literally have no one I can talk to about this. I have to get through tomorrow then I start work then at least I will be distracted. I just don't know if I can do it. I have gained so much weight recently and I don't think I can stop. I'm terrified of being fat, my whole family are thin. My family make comments about 'fat people'. What if that becomes me? I'm so lost and I don't know where else to post this. Thank you if you read it.
Reading back over this, it's so negative and sad and horrible, but I just need to vent. I had to eat a plate of food covered in oil for dinner, and it just tipped me over the edge and then I binged.
[Discussion] Anyone else's perception of a 'binge' change over time?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 16 15:22:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76tqpj/anyone_elses_perception_of_a_binge_change_over/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Low calorie alcohol?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | shame | idk | ~64lbs | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Mon Oct 16 15:08:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76tn9h/low_calorie_alcohol/
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Sorry for spamming this sub all the time buutt I love you guys 😣
Basically im turning 21 tomorrow
🎉🎉
Im just wondering what are some low calorie drinking options. Gotta stock up on some recipies now
And also be prepared for if I ever actually make any friends to go to bars with :'-)
[Tip] My three miracle to curb appetite
/u/Amandapandaz1
Created: Mon Oct 16 14:40:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76tg2m/my_three_miracle_to_curb_appetite/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I have to face a demon next week.
/u/snaafuuu [5'3| 192.6 | 35.06 | -12.2 | 22F]
Created: Mon Oct 16 14:31:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76tds3/i_have_to_face_a_demon_next_week/
---
In February my best friend and I had a falling out, and she made our mutual friends choose between us. Most of our friends came from her side in the first place, so I lost my entire support group in days.
I'm going to a party on the 28th where I'm going to see one of the girls who chose my other friend. I really don't blame her, they were best friends way before I came into the picture. But it's going to be like seeing a ghost, like an extension of the girl who ruined my life.
She knows I have an ED and it's such a dirty secret for me, she's 1 of 3 that know. I just want to starve and wither and maybe some thinness in my face will make me feel better facing her. It's dumb but I'm trying to cope and it's not going well.
I just needed to rant, sorry.
[Goal] I don't know if I want this anymore..
/u/plantbasedpumpkin
Created: Mon Oct 16 14:17:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76taaf/i_dont_know_if_i_want_this_anymore/
---
I'm overweight. No doubt about it. But I've lost 70 pounds in about 5 months on 1200 a day. Why did I change it?
(I eat <500 a day now)
I understand how my ED works. I know that whenever I exceed 650 I start hating myself - but I don't think I want that anymore.
I looked in the mirror today and I saw someone I didn't recognize. My undereyes are purple and my lips are more chapped than I could ever imagine.
I didn't know hairloss could happen if you weren't underweight - but a big chunk of my hair sloughed off in the shower.
I joined the subreddit 'loseit' with the intention of getting to a healthy weight in 2 years or maybe more.
Why am i doing this? I don't deserve it. I don't deserve to only leave the house in sweatshirts with leggings because I hate myself.
I don't deserve to never eat my favorite foods again.
I don't deserve unhappiness.
I want to be healthy. I want to be okay. I want this to end before I hurt myself.
Soooooooo.. does anyone know how?
[Rant/Rave] My new meds are starting to work and I'm afraid(?) my food anxiety is going to get less severe and I'll stop restricting as hard.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 16 14:10:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76t87l/my_new_meds_are_starting_to_work_and_im_afraid_my/
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[removed]
[Help] On not losing my friends or arousing suspicions.
/u/PineappleWhippet
Created: Mon Oct 16 13:43:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76t1bl/on_not_losing_my_friends_or_arousing_suspicions/
---
So I was able to evade family thanksgivings this year. No small victory for me a married mid thirties mother of 1.
However I have made friends lately for the first time in years and they are wonderfully kind people who I couldn't even imagine I would find. Unfortunately however my closest new friend is - well let's just say she works out a lot but also eats like my nightmares. Ugh. I don't think she's ever even been on a diet from the things she's said.
So due to work obligations they didn't have the holiday either. I thought I was off the hook entirely but a few days ago my teenager and I were invited for a late dinner. I've been nonstop agonizing over it since the time. Do I duck out - no I can't do that. Teen is excited. Can't let me do that- bad mom guilt will eat me alive.
So we go and I eat and I drink 3 glasses of wine to stop the crazies a bit. All goes smooth - I don't look insane or give any vibes of my Ed at all - I took my pie home and told the teen I was too stuffed to eat it - it's gone now yay!
Scale says I'm up 2 lbs but after my ten day fasting cleanse and getting ahold of it I'm still down almost 20 lbs since I started swinging from BED back to the sanity of restrictions. But omg - now they want us to come over for leftovers tonight!!! I literally just can't eat again today. I just can't - they're so friendly and loving but I can't sneak away to purge even if I wanted to - I've done too much damage to my teeth over the years and had to pay so much to fix them that to me opening the BP door is a spiral into something I just can't. I feel like a fat snake with a bowling ball in my belly as it is.
Sorry for the long rant - what I'm getting at is last time I was fully restricting and lost all the weight I also lost a lot of friends and basically became a pariah accused of being a drug addict etc. I didn't care at the time really - I was so fully happy to be thin. But now - these are the only real friends I have and I don't want to lose them or have them think badly of me. Why does food have to be love for so many people?!
Does anyone have any kind of idea for how I can skip going next door for leftovers tonight?
[Rant/Rave] I had a donut binge at work and now I can barely function.
/u/demonofequality [5'5"| CW: 125 | GW: 115 | 21.05 | -25 lbs| F]
Created: Mon Oct 16 13:32:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76syp1/i_had_a_donut_binge_at_work_and_now_i_can_barely/
---
I typically have small calorie foods at work so that the rest of my allotted calories can be for dinner, a yogurt, string cheese, and carrots. Not super high in calories but still nutritious.
I helped a coworker with a script and as repayment she bought me two chocolate donuts. My weakness IS donuts. So I ate them. Both. And now I want to dieeeee.
I’m at 760 calories now at 2pm and I can barely function because I’ve had an immediate sugar high and crash.
I want to puke but I can never get privacy at work to do so. So now I’m sitting here feeling light headed nauseous and completely hating myself.
Fuck this. Fuck me. I just wanna go home and crawl back in bed.
[Rant/Rave] [NSV] Encouraged during workout
/u/sparklekittie [5'4" | 115| 19 | not enough | lady]
Created: Mon Oct 16 13:08:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76ssh5/nsv_encouraged_during_workout/
---
Lately things in my world have been awful (when are they not amirite?!) and my weight has been a reflection of that. I haven't felt motivated to do much of anything besides moping around and feeling like an unlovable waste of life.
Today after a lot of "but I don't wanna" thoughts about working out during the lunch hour, I got my ass in the gym. My work has an on-site gym, so I'm stupid lucky to have that. So I'm slugging along on the elliptical, and this cute lady from the accounting department walks in "Hey, good job! No wonder you're so little!"
Yaaaay I did it!
[Rant/Rave] [NSFW] Secretly competing with my ex, the surprising truth of how things are now, and why I’m horrible.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 16 12:55:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76sp69/nsfw_secretly_competing_with_my_ex_the_surprising/
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[deleted]
[Help] [Help] Family tragedy, followed by an accident; I'm spiraling a little 😔
/u/kitty_mew
Created: Mon Oct 16 12:38:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76skql/help_family_tragedy_followed_by_an_accident_im/
---
Hey guys (On mobile, please flair [help])
I need a little bit of help. I'm going through a bit of crises, and I guess I just need to vent, or rant, or just reach out.
Last month, my oldest brother passed away (he was only 40; passed away 3 days before his 41st birthday). I hadn't seen him in 20 years. I finally saw him, and he died 2 weeks into my visit. This is going to take so long to get over, I get that. I've been trying to cope while taking care of my mom and being in school, but it's been rough. He was cremated. I flew back home halfway across the world with his ashes.
Fast forward one month later, I get into a car accident. My fiancé was driving, and his car got hit on the passenger's side, in the front (where I sat). It's... I'm not doing okay.
I've tried comfort eating, and all my fiancé does is give me dirty looks for going off my diet, and constantly questioning my food decisions. Yes, I was derailed from following keto, but I was still doing 1200-1300 per day. Now I'm just sitting at my chiropractor's office, making a list of foods I'm buying at Wal-Mart to binge and purge.
Yes, I'm seeing a counselor at my school. It's helping somewhat, but I've only had 2 sessions. I'm trying to keep it together, but I don't know to do.
Any advice/comfort/really, anything would be tremendous.
Thanks in advance,
Kitty
[Discussion] Fucked up and binged on 851 extra calories fml.
/u/cluelessrunner
Created: Mon Oct 16 11:54:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76s984/fucked_up_and_binged_on_851_extra_calories_fml/
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[removed]
[Other] Stress binging like:
/u/fuckingusernamee [4'11 | 115| 23.2| F]
Created: Mon Oct 16 11:50:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76s8da/stress_binging_like/
---
https://i.redd.it/08u959esc8sz.jpg
[Help] Has anybody experienced weight gain or loss while taking Strattera?
/u/ViscousCerebrum
Created: Mon Oct 16 11:47:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76s7io/has_anybody_experienced_weight_gain_or_loss_while/
---
My psychiatric nurse is thinking about prescribing it but I'm terrified of it causing weight gain. So far I haven't found anything online saying it can cause weight gain but I'd like to hear from you guys before making my final decision. Thanks!
[Rant/Rave] F*cking Costco pizza
/u/smallgrl
Created: Mon Oct 16 11:47:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76s7fl/fcking_costco_pizza/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] WHAT DID I DO?!
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 63.4 kg | BMI: 23.6 | -20.1 kg | 21F]
Created: Mon Oct 16 11:41:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76s62g/what_did_i_do/
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I am typing this while I am stuffing myself with cookies. Well "only" 5 cookies in total but together they have 222 cals! And I ate a ramen today which I can only guess the cals of. I'm already freaking out because I'm not sure how many cals my ramen had (I estimated around 550 cals?) and now I'm eating cookies?! And I just binged last friday! No wonder I'm fat. I have a bad cold atm and thought one cookie can't be that bad right? F**k me I just finished the 5th one. Why did I eat that so not planned ramen today? Peer pressure, I didn't want to be the weird one with a growling stomach. Guess who's not eating tomorrow? Is what I'd like to say but I need at least dinner or I'll faint. God I feel like shit atm. I know I'm still at a deficit but guys I get nervous when I'm eating more than 400 cals. I miss the time where some noodles and cookies didn't bother me.
[Help] [Help] Are my symptoms from restricting and are they serious?
/u/Ms_SnapcasterMage [5'4" | CW 149lbs | HW 180lbs | UGW 95lbs | 24F]
Created: Mon Oct 16 11:30:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76s34w/help_are_my_symptoms_from_restricting_and_are/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] comments like these piss the hell out of me
/u/ci-fre [5' | 73 -74 lb | ~15-15.2 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 16 10:55:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76rtxx/comments_like_these_piss_the_hell_out_of_me/
---
https://i.redd.it/dt0az2qw28sz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Another day, another binge. FML.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 16 10:49:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76rsi7/another_day_another_binge_fml/
---
[removed]
Probably gonna gain weight, fml. ANOTHER DAY ANOTHER BINGE.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 16 10:38:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76rppc/probably_gonna_gain_weight_fml_another_day/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] FML ate an extra 600 calories yesterday
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 16 10:22:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76rli2/fml_ate_an_extra_600_calories_yesterday/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I'm at a loss
/u/Lumiahime
Created: Mon Oct 16 10:12:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76rj19/im_at_a_loss/
---
**I'm very new to Reddit and I'm posting on mobile. I'm really sorry if the formatting ends up looking like trash!
I'm 19F and have struggled with food pretty much my whole life. I did competitive dance for about 11 years so I ate pretty much whatever I wanted and worked it all off.
I finally quit dance a couple years ago because my coach was mentally abusive and ever since I have felt just completely out of control. I was like 120 pounds with muscle when I quit and I'm now 165 (probably more by now, I'm too scared to check. Wouldn't be surprised if I was 180 by now). I'm so full of shame that I haven't taken a picture in years and try to stay out of public as often as I can. I also buy only oversized clothing so people can't see the frumps and fat curves of my body.
Every second of my day is spent panicking about how I need to stop gorging myself on junk, but when mealtime rolls everything changes. I pretty much always have cravings for fried food and I feel like if I don't eat it I will have a complete break down. Calories and money aside, I usually convince myself "Just one more meal won't matter in the grand scheme of things." Lolol.
When I eventually cave and get some, eating it lasts like 5 seconds and it's all like a blur. Then the incredible guilt sets in. It's so bad sometimes I feel suicidal. I try to remind myself when I want fried food of how bad the guilt after is, but no amount of rationalizing anything can stop the mental gymnastics of justification.
I'm just so at a loss. I cannot hold myself accountable. I hate the body im in and I just feel so powerless to change it.
I've committed to fasting today and already drank a metric butt ton of water but we'll see how much food I've convinced myself is ok to eat here in a couple hours.
I'm so sorry for the word vomit you guys, especially since I'm new. I had a point to this post but I think I lost it somewhere. I just needed to get this out there because I don't want to talk to anyone close to me. Thanks to anyone who reads this. Xoxo
[Rant/Rave] I'm a failure
/u/overweightandstress [5'8 | CW: 144 lb | BMI: 21.4 | GW: 127 lb| F]
Created: Mon Oct 16 09:56:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76reqj/im_a_failure/
---
I've been working so hard for so many years to lose this weight. And here I am. Back on my bullshit. I've managed to gain 5 lbs in a month, and while that doesn't sound like a lot, I needed to lose 15 to begin with just to be on the lower end of BMI. I feel so stressed and stupid and I want to fast for a month and just get this over and done with. I can't explain how I feel. I've been kind of balanced with my ED (lol) and clearly that doesn't work. I need to find a way to make sure food does not touch my lips until someone forces it down. I need to do this for me. I need to lose the last twenty.
[Discussion] October 16th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 16 08:59:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76r0yg/october_16th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What time did you wake up today?
[Rant/Rave] Why must we pregame the food with more food?
/u/whinefridge
Created: Mon Oct 16 08:43:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76qwxo/why_must_we_pregame_the_food_with_more_food/
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[removed]
[Help] How accurate are fitbit calorie counts?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | shame | idk | ~64lbs | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Mon Oct 16 08:28:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76qttg/how_accurate_are_fitbit_calorie_counts/
---
I got a fitbit charge 2 yesterday... and the calorie count seems way high?
Like it says I've burned 910 calories today already and it's only 10:30AM?
Seems so goddamn high.... i dunno if I should rely on it as an accurate counter...?
[Rant/Rave] "You're too fat to have an eating disorder"
/u/sweet-cutie-pie
Created: Mon Oct 16 08:04:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76qo7o/youre_too_fat_to_have_an_eating_disorder/
---
How do you feel about: "you're too fat to have an eating disorder"?
Here's my experience...
First time I decided to ask for help for bulimia, the Doc told me: "First... You're too fat to have an eating disorder and second, a real bulimic will never ask for help". This was like 7+ years ago but it was pretty traumatic. I've relapse many times and I definitely won't ever seek for help again, I don't wanna be remainder how fat and disgusting I am by a completely stranger.
[Rant/Rave] He wants to meet up but I feel ugly and too self conscious
/u/phoenix361 [165cm | 65kg | F]
Created: Mon Oct 16 07:59:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76qn5v/he_wants_to_meet_up_but_i_feel_ugly_and_too_self/
---
Hi guys
So I've been talking to this guy I met online for about 6 weeks. He wants to meet up before the end of the year. I do too. We get along well, he's so nice and I really like him.
I just think I'm too gross for him to see me in person. We've video called and I've sent him face and body pictures when we were messing about. He says he finds me attractive but I'm so scared he's gonna change his mind and be disgusted by me when he sees me as I really am. I'm nowhere near skinny right now. I guess I can hide my body in clothes but I still have an ugly face.
To meet him, I'm gonna have to travel about 2 hours. I don't want to go out of my way to be rejected or feel unwanted.
Is this all in my head? I guess I've got time to sort myself out and use this as motivation.
Make me feel better please :(
[Rant/Rave] I hate myself
/u/posyposer [5’4 | 21.5 | CW: 125 | GW: 115]
Created: Mon Oct 16 07:55:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76qm9z/i_hate_myself/
---
I’m laying in bed sobbing because I am so sad and pathetic. The only thing I want is to be skinny and I feel like such a failure that will never be small. I love my boyfriend but he’s not a very sensitive or loving man and I just needed some love and reassurance yesterday and he couldn’t be there for me. I eat when I go to his place to make him feel good but it’s not worth it and I’m realizing that I need to either give up making him happy or give up eating my meal of the day in order to accommodate. I’m stressed and exhausted and I just wish I was naturally small like my sisters so I wouldn’t have to hate myself so much.
[Other] I always think the current situation is forever
/u/Mi__ra [165cm / up and down, ffs]
Created: Mon Oct 16 07:12:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76qdi9/i_always_think_the_current_situation_is_forever/
---
I've gained weight. I got up to 54 kgs. When I'm gaining or maintaining a higher weight, I have a hard time believing things could be different. I'm convinced I'm never going to be skinny again, and now that I have lost about 1,5 kgs I'm totally surprised. It worked! I ate less and lost weight, who could've guessed?!!!
And when I am underweight, losing weight or somehow my weight doesn't make me hate myself intensely, I believe that that's the norm. It's okay if I gain a kilo or two, because *of course* I can get rid of it whenever I want.
This has been going on for years. I'd think - THINK- that by now I'd know that I'll lose weight if I burn more than I consume, and vice versa. But no. All of this is still so mysterious to me.
[Discussion] 100 days: what to track?
/u/fxckyouaurora [166cm|52kg|F24]
Created: Mon Oct 16 06:22:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76q3ua/100_days_what_to_track/
---
I've just done a few 10x10 tables to track some habits/behaviours/etc over 100 days. I think I got the idea from here somewhere.. anyway, one of them will be purging, I'll put 'X' in the boxes for days I do purge and 'O' for the days I don't. (of course aiming for more Os than Xs but oh god, we'll see).
my other ideas have been sticking to a certain calorie count and stuff, what else do you think could be another one?
and, out of curiosity, how do you all track your own behaviours? (if you actually do at all)
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! October 16, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Oct 16 06:14:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76q2bx/weekly_stats_update_october_16_2017/
---
This is the weekly status thread for October 16, 2017.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 16, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Oct 16 06:14:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76q2b2/daily_food_diary_october_16_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 16, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Other] "..all I’ve eaten for the last three days is my own fingernails" Savannah Brown - Skinny Girls Bleed Flowers (slam poem)
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 19bmi | -140 | 30F | AU]
Created: Mon Oct 16 06:10:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76q1g6/all_ive_eaten_for_the_last_three_days_is_my_own/
---
https://youtu.be/ZmDVEUsTMH8
[Discussion] What's The Longest You Have Fasted? What Are Some Tips You May Have For Fasting?
/u/DisguisedAsMe [5'3" | 115 lbs | BMI: 20.93| -13.7 | 21F]
Created: Mon Oct 16 05:52:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76pydd/whats_the_longest_you_have_fasted_what_are_some/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Feel guilty for lying to my girlfriend about food
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5'4" | 125 | 21.4 | GW: 115 | NB]
Created: Mon Oct 16 05:35:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76pvho/feel_guilty_for_lying_to_my_girlfriend_about_food/
---
I love her and part of me wants to get better but I also don't want to eat and I keep lying to her about whether I've eaten and I just feel so shit about it. I've put weight on cause of my dad's wedding and I know I need to lose it, can someone give me some advice on how to feel less shit? :(
[Other] TMI: Can’t stop using the bathroom... should I be worried?
/u/cloudsofdawn [169cm - 5'6.5' | CW: 119.9lbs | 19.1 BMI | -23lbs | F]
Created: Mon Oct 16 04:52:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76polo/tmi_cant_stop_using_the_bathroom_should_i_be/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] Thinspo of the day: Victoria Beckham
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 16 04:47:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76pny4/thinspo_of_the_day_victoria_beckham/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] What's the weirdest myth you've heard about calories?
/u/cartoonsandscience [6'1 | C:138.5 | -33 | GW:135 | 20M]
Created: Mon Oct 16 04:25:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76pktx/whats_the_weirdest_myth_youve_heard_about_calories/
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My sister and I got into a fight yesterday because she was convinced every individual should eat 2500 calories a day. She didn't believe me when I told her your allowed calorie intake depends on your age, your weight, your muscle mass and so on. Nope it has to be 2500 calories a day and it's the same for everyone! Eating less than that is only for "people who want to lose like 30 kgs". I got so fucking angry I left the room because she acted like she knew way more about food than me. If there's one positive thing my ED has done is make me a food expert. I've been obsessed with food and its effects on the body for years, don't fucking test me! Anyway I was wondering what crazy thing you've heard others say about food and how mad or baffled it made you.
[Help] Got a new job and I can't stop eating!!!
/u/JaneLane26
Created: Mon Oct 16 03:42:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76pet1/got_a_new_job_and_i_cant_stop_eating/
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Please label as rant
I got a job at a grocery store. I was really excited because it's a pretty physically demanding job. Plus, with school in the mornings, I was excited to have my time completely filled.
But of course, it's not going as intended.
* My fatass can't stop eating all the free foods they have in the break room.
* The food that I've been buying is complete shit (e.g. prepared foods, frozen, new things I want to try)
* Because my time is so limited, I'm so lazy I don't make my own meals anymore
* When I've tried to restrict heavily during the day with the intention to eat healthy at work that once I get to work I just fuck up anyways
* I mostly close and, as I am wont to do, I eat as soon as I get home regardless how late it is
* I'm wasting my time by eating, when I could be doing homework/studying
* And after some inner turmoil, I caved and purged a couple times which ulsets me so much
I just feel frustrated, bloated and stressed out. I'm wasting money on shit and I feel like absolute crap. I've plateaued the past few months and then began to steadily gain weight. This job was supposed to help, but it's not!!
Help me, please!!! I feel so out of control.
[Tip] Keep some sugar on you to prevent fainting!!
/u/LetzBeAn
Created: Mon Oct 16 03:22:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76pc47/keep_some_sugar_on_you_to_prevent_fainting/
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I know carbs are a huge fear for a lot of us, but fainting is real and can be super dangerous depending on where you are. Fainting on marble floor in six inch heels, for example, is not fun...
Learn from my mistake and **keep some sugar with you at all times** so that when you're feeling light headed, you're less at risk of getting a concussion. If, like me, you're prone to binging on candy, grab a few packets of those white or brown sugar things that most coffee shops have, and keep those in your bag/pocket instead.
*edited
[Tip] If you're too cheap for electrolyte drinks...
/u/teasnob22 [5'3" | CW: 95.7 | GW: 88 | 17.43 | -22 | F | Vegan AF]
Created: Mon Oct 16 02:52:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76p83m/if_youre_too_cheap_for_electrolyte_drinks/
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Cream of tartar has a heap of potassium! the RDI for potassium is 4.7 g. Cream of tartar is 20% potassium, so 23.5g of it gets you your RDI!
Having said this, DO NOT CONSUME TOO MUCH. You will get hyperkalemia, which is just as bad as hypokalemia and you'll end up throwing up, having heart palpitations etc and it'll just be a real mess.
Also it is an acid, so I don't recommend drinking it after purging. It doesn't taste too bad mixed with water though, kind of sweet and a bit vinegary?
[source](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3570668/)
[Rant/Rave] Is anyone else unable to control what they eat as a result of parents/ someone else controlling it?
/u/ashadowwolf [5'3" | 115lbs of mostly fat | 19.53 | GW: 105lbs | 20f]
Created: Mon Oct 16 01:49:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76ozxe/is_anyone_else_unable_to_control_what_they_eat_as/
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I'm sure this is common in other ethnicities and families too, but in many asian families, it's often the case that the family sits down for dinner together and everything must be eaten. The older ones - parents, grandparents etc. - tend to keep putting food into your bowl and you have no choice but to eat it because you can't put it back and it's incredibly wasteful to throw out perfectly good food. When you tell them you don't want it, they either just do it anyway or lecture you about how ungrateful you are because there are other starving people out there who would love to have it etc. Or they say they like it when you're chubby.
As a result, you end up overeating. Especially if for some reason roughly the same serving is given to everyone of similar age range (even though it should be based on individual needs).
It's so frustrating to me. I eat 70% carbs, 20% meat, and 10% veg when carbs and veg should swap places. My mum won't let me leave the table until I've finished and feeling so stuffed I can barely breathe, telling me this is what I need (it's not), and that my brother or other female cousin eats the same amount and they're fine. She's also overweight and I feel like she wants me to also be overweight so she doesn't feel so bad about herself. She'll see skinny people and make rude comments like "that skinny pos" and apparently everyone that's slim/ thin is anorexic.
On top of this, I have other mental health issues so I rely on food as a source of comfort so it just makes everything so much worse. Not much can be done so I'm not really asking for help. Only thing I can try to do is stop binging at the least but I don't really have any other healthy coping mechanism.
[Other] One of the slam poetry performances that makes me want to perform my own... When the Fat Girl Gets Skinny
/u/missmarmoset
Created: Mon Oct 16 01:20:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76ow76/one_of_the_slam_poetry_performances_that_makes_me/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16Tb_bZZDv0
[Rant/Rave] I purged today and I'm not even upset about it
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Sun Oct 15 23:07:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76oc97/i_purged_today_and_im_not_even_upset_about_it/
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I'm not upset that I did it. I needed to. I weighed in at 127 today. Last year I was 117 and I was so proud of myself. I don't know how to get back on track. Ughhghhh.
I just... I can't. I need to be re-inspired. It was so easy when I was depressed and self conscious about other women and my guy and shit but now that's not an issue and I have zero motivation to actually try. Fuck. What's wrong with me? I still have an eating disorder, I have since I was 13, but now I don't even have the benefit of being skinny. Fuck.
[Discussion] Does anyone else like to write little notes to themselves?
/u/fortunefeaster
Created: Sun Oct 15 22:01:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76o13l/does_anyone_else_like_to_write_little_notes_to/
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When I'm trying to fast, I like to write little post-it notes to myself to see that I know I'll see during weak points in the day. The only issue is putting them somewhere that I know I'll see but not my family 😬 they aren't very nice notes either but I think they help get the job done.
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] My life is unbearable. 17F
/u/mardalfoosen [5'1 | 131 | 24.8| -8 | 17F]
Created: Sun Oct 15 21:52:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76nzjo/rant_my_life_is_unbearable_17f/
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So I went into recovery (PHP at Renfrew of Charlotte)in may and got out in the summer in a month I can't remember (Probably July?) because I have to reason to look at calendars since I dropped out of High School October 2016. I've been trying to get back into ED habits since I left the program, but haven't until yesterday. I play video games with my sister everyday but she doesn't give a shit about me even though I love her so much. Today while we we playing SSB4 she told me that she doesn't particularly like me and she doesn't care about me. She wouldn't care if I died. I do everything I can to reach out to her and she rejects me every time. I've been trying to work on my self esteem in therapy, but my sister always puts me down calling me fat and stupid and ugly. She's toxic and mean and she doesn't care. I think she's horrible person, but she's my sister. But she sees no meaning in family (our parents are horrible and our family is dysfunctional so I don't blame her but still...) No one cares about me, even the friends I thought I had when I was in school don't care. I'm always the one who cares too much. I'm so lonely and sad and angry at my sister for not loving me.
[Discussion] Do you guys have any ED related youtube channels, movies, etc...?
/u/KajaIsForeverAlone [height:5'9 | CW: 135 BMI:20 | weight lost:25 lbs | Gender: F]
Created: Sun Oct 15 21:41:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76nxfl/do_you_guys_have_any_ed_related_youtube_channels/
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I recently found a YouTube channel called what Mia did next, and was wondering if you guys have any ED video reccommends
Mobile post, please flair
[Rant/Rave] Ive made this post like 2 times before but whateva here I go again. Wtf @ me
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 15 21:26:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76nul3/ive_made_this_post_like_2_times_before_but/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Anyone else hate Oprah
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 15 21:24:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76nu98/anyone_else_hate_oprah/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] How are you today? Proud? Need to vent? Post whatever you need to get off your shoulders!
/u/grave_stoned [6'1" / F / CW: 163 / GW: 140]
Created: Sun Oct 15 21:04:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76nqlv/how_are_you_today_proud_need_to_vent_post/
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((on mobile, please flair!))
I'm having a pretty disappointing day, as the scale is telling me I've gained 2 pounds overnight. I know it's not physically possible, as I've been restricting pretty diligently (& I think my period is about to start, another disappointment) but it's still kind of upsetting.
Because of that, I want to hear where you guys are at today :) just anything, really, how are you guys? Need to vent? Proud of yourself? Let me know!
For me, my struggles are that^^, and I'm proud of being able to maintain my restriction through the week and month. I've also finished up a pretty hefty project at work that I've been stressed over, so that's a huge weight (rip) off my shoulders!
[Other] "The Eating Habits Of The World’s Most Famous Folk Will Make You Feel Normal" Oh how I wish it were true (Steve Jobs diet anyone?)
/u/tinycat1 [165cm| 60kg | 20F | GW: 45KG]
Created: Sun Oct 15 20:51:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76no53/the_eating_habits_of_the_worlds_most_famous_folk/
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https://www.pedestrian.tv/health/eating-habits-worlds-famous-folk-will-make-feel-normal/
[Rant/Rave] Doctor's appointment...I'm nervous
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 87.8lbs | BMI 16.06ish | GW: 87lbs | 20F]
Created: Sun Oct 15 20:20:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76ni6f/doctors_appointmentim_nervous/
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I've never been formally diagnosed with an eating disorder, but that may change really soon.
I scheduled a doctor's appointment for the 23rd about a month ago. I was really scared and knew that if I didn't make the call, I'd never do it. I've lost like 6 lbs since then.
I'm nervous because of a lot of reasons. I don't want the doctor to be like, "You have to go inpatient right now!" or something similar, but in contrast to this, I also don't want the doctor to say something akin to, "well you're not really that underweight so I can't do much."
It's weird. I know I need help. I probably will die by the end of the year without treatment. With the amount of weight that I tend to lose in a short amount of time, and with the massive amount of health problems I'm already experiencing...yeah I'm kind of screwed. I also don't want treatment. I don't want to gain weight. I don't want to feel fatter than I already do. Etc.
I've made it my fucked up mission to weigh as little as possible by my doctor's appointment in order to get the doctor to take me seriously. I know it's terrible, but I want to be diagnosed as anorexic. It would be really invalidating for them to throw a catch all label onto it. IDK why. I know that every eating disorder is a real and deadly disorder, but for some reason in my fucked up brain, my disorder is only really if it's anorexia.
I hope that doesn't offend anyone. I don't consider any of the disorders to be worse than the others. But for me, and my delusional self, I feel as though the most validating diagnosis would be anorexia.
I'm just really worried that the doctor isn't going to help, or that she only recommends treatment options that I currently can't do. I'm in college, and doing pretty well, so I can't go inpatient. It's just not an option. I'm also really busy all of the damn time so it's not like I can even do PHP.
I'll cut off this rant here because it's getting long. Idk. I've got a lot on my mind.
[Goal] Made it through dinner
/u/dbk1982 [5'2" 35F |SW 215 | CW 208 | LW 140| UGW 115 ]
Created: Sun Oct 15 20:04:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76nevz/made_it_through_dinner/
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Flagged as Goal because I hit my goal ❤️
So I’m thinking, ok tacos, I can eat the meat ( protein is usually a safe food) but it’s not like chicken or beef. It’s fucking chorizo. Gritty fatty greasy chorizo. I managed to pretend my tortillas fell apart all over the plate then shoved the fatty meat under the broken tortilla to hide it while picking out the mushrooms and pico to eat. Idk how much in calories it was because I did have to eat some of the meat ( there was sooo much. Too much to hide all of it). I’m thinking no more than 400 but I’m counting it as 600 on MFP.
Total today is under 1000 so I hit my goal lovelies!!
[Rant/Rave] I just realized I actually look skinny when I suck in
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 15 19:35:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76n91t/i_just_realized_i_actually_look_skinny_when_i/
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https://imgur.com/a/iPiSy
[Discussion] I feel pretty conflicted about this stuff
/u/vkomova [5'11 | ugh | ugh | ugh | F]
Created: Sun Oct 15 18:59:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76n1zh/i_feel_pretty_conflicted_about_this_stuff/
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I realized today that part of why I like restricting so much is because it makes the food I do "allow" myself to eat occasionally taste so, so, SO much better.
But it's like playing with fire because if I let myself eat something absolutely delicious and fattening, it's like the floodgates open and I want to eat everything I can get my hands on. Finding a middle ground, between treating myself and letting myself enjoy just a little bit of really delicious food, and eating so much so fast that I'm not even really tasting the food anymore but just inhaling it all, that's so difficult.
[Discussion] What Scale Should I Get?
/u/DisguisedAsMe [5'3" | 115 lbs | BMI: 20.93| -13.7 | 21F]
Created: Sun Oct 15 18:52:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76n0iz/what_scale_should_i_get/
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My old one broke and since my boyfriend dumped me for his ex, I need it lol. Any advice (for the scale or even to manage this break up tbh) would be appreciated!
[Discussion] Anyone bought goal weight clothes?
/u/shortyaten
Created: Sun Oct 15 18:24:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76mv35/anyone_bought_goal_weight_clothes/
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I always think now what would be my goal weight outfit.
Now I'm just buying sizes smaller to force myself to really get to that size.
[Rant/Rave] could I just make up my goddamn mind
/u/ihatehickorysticks
Created: Sun Oct 15 18:23:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76muv0/could_i_just_make_up_my_goddamn_mind/
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one second my brain will be all “you need to RESTRICT bitch only grape skins are allowed from now on you fat ass” and then literally 5 min later I’m all “HUUURRRR ME LIKE DONUTS AND CAKE HAHA WHAT WEIGHTLOSS??” and its every single day at this point. like if I don’t get my shit together I’m just gonna kill myself because I can’t keep doing this all the time. it’s exhausting. and to think only 3 months ago I was underweight.
[Help] Help!!!
/u/fickitthrowaway
Created: Sun Oct 15 18:19:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76mty3/help/
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[removed]
[Help] cupcakes in the break room, i repeat, there are cupcakes in the break room.
/u/ScrunchiesandDraino [5'8" | 262.8 | 40 | GW:160 | 20F]
Created: Sun Oct 15 18:17:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76mtie/cupcakes_in_the_break_room_i_repeat_there_are/
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I WANT EM SO BAD WTF I PACKED A SMALL LIL LUNCH AND EVERYTHING!!!
i’m just sitting here, sipping on diet pepsi, thinking about how nice it would be to eat every single one.
hopefully a few bites of pineapple and chugs of my water will stop me :(
[Discussion] Besides food, what do you deny yourself?
/u/awayawaydown [c: 16.4 | g: 16.3]
Created: Sun Oct 15 18:05:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76mqyr/besides_food_what_do_you_deny_yourself/
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Mostly I'm interested in serious answers (although I'm expecting the usual glib ones, like "happiness").
There are things I love that aren't very mainstream or age-appropriate (and no, not talking about things like "oh star wars what a NERD!" Right.). I'm talking like, handheld gaming and new age-y shit and other stuff that professional 30-something women get weird looks for.
I daydream about indulging in them but I never really do. I don't know why. No one is stopping me. I just don't.
[Rant/Rave] I'm just so frustrated.
/u/Fanashit [5'4" | 122.6 | 21.46 | -55lbs | GW 120 | UGW 98 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 15 18:03:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76mqkb/im_just_so_frustrated/
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I started therapy a month or so ago for depression and anxiety. I just couldn't take it anymore. I lied on the information sheet about bulimia. I admitted to being obsessed with food and my weight but I said I've never thrown up from eating too much before. I haven't done it since before therapy started, and I've told myself I will tell my therapist if it happens again. It hasn't. There's been no mention of my eating disorder at all in therapy. Mostly the anxiety.
I've fallen back into restricting. It started with work being too busy and exhausting to eat there, I work in a kitchen, and I'd get home too tired to feel like eating. And a bit of a viral sinus infection killing my appetite. Now food just doesn't register as food anymore. It's just a thing. It's a hobby some people choose, like crossword puzzles or embroidery work or sudoku puzzles. I pick at and nibble at things but it took me three hours picking at a salad to eat a quarter of it.
For my depression and anxiety, she suggested I go to a doctor and discuss medication. I did, last week. He put me on 20mg of citalopram a day. I took three doses and stopped. It made my heart beat hard and fast too often and I kept seeing tiny rotting skulls laying around. I'm going to call tomorrow to see him again about switching medication.
I'm so frustrated. I just want to get better. I just want the anxiety and depression to stop. I know it takes a long time, I've had anxiety since I was seven or eight and depression since I was eleven. I know it's going to take time to fix it or make it better. I'm so mad at myself for 'giving up' so quickly on the medication but I was terrified I was going to have a heart attack and die. The skulls didn't really bother me, it was just irritating because I'd see them out of the corner of my eye and go 'wait what' and look and it was just a washcloth or something sitting there. It was more distracting than anything. It made me paranoid that everything was a hallucination. Faint beeping noise? It could be something in the neighbor's house or outside, but what if it's a hallucination? Weird noises at work? Probably someone on their phone or those kids over there with a tablet, but what if it's a hallucination?
I see my therapist again wednesday. We're supposed to do meditation. I don't know if I want to tell her I've been restricting. I'm fine. I'm still overweight by body fat percentage. Part of me is tempted to tell her but so so much of me wants to run with this as long as I can because I know it's only a matter of time before I'm back in binge mode again, so it'll even out in the end. Or maybe I've got it right this time and I'll get to a healthy weight and maintain there. I don't want it ruined. Once I start eating again I know it'll be a long time before I can stop.
I don't know the point of this post. I'm just frustrated.
I just want to get better.
[Discussion] DAE: save most of your calories for dinner/the evening?
/u/thescarletlettergirl [5'3 | CW 108 | UGW 90 | 18 F | ]
Created: Sun Oct 15 17:55:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76mp2g/dae_save_most_of_your_calories_for_dinnerthe/
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I have no problems restricting during the day, but a lot of times during the evening I feel super strong binge urges. I started saving a majority of my calories for the evening, so I can have a 250-300 calorie dinner. I have a hard time sleeping when I go to bed hungry, so this has helped my sleeping as well. I find that doing this makes it super easy to eat under 500 calories a day. I take an EC stack in the morning and have a small breakfast or snack during the day then eat my "bulk meal" and go to sleep feeling satisfied. I wake up feeling empty, but not starving. I'm trying to do this for a week and see if I lose steadily, has anyone found this to be beneficial?
[Rant/Rave] The Halo Top of Low Carb Protein Snacks
/u/lasirenexx [5'4" | CW: 104.5 | BMI: 17.9 | GW: 99.5 | 29F]
Created: Sun Oct 15 17:55:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76moxg/the_halo_top_of_low_carb_protein_snacks/
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I’ve been doing an ultra low carb/keto diet for a while, and haven’t had anything dessert-like except for semi-sweet protein bars for a long time. I was at Vitamin Shoppe for my weekly protein bar shopping and happened upon Think Thin’s Protein Cakes in Birthday Cake flavor. So, so delicious and only 170 calories and 1 gram of sugar for the two mini cakes per package. 😍
[Think Thin Protein Cakes - Birthday Cake 🎂](https://shop.thinkproducts.com/Birthday-Cake/p/TKP-714769&c=ThinkProducts@ProteinCakes)
Bf cheated
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 15 17:52:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76modd/bf_cheated/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] So today I went shopping for the first time in a long time...
/u/floodinginmymind [5'8" | CW: 135 | BMI: 20.4 | WL: 47 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 15 17:39:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76mlwd/so_today_i_went_shopping_for_the_first_time_in_a/
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And I'm only at 132 (5'8") but the girl that was helping me find my size actually asked me if I was a 00. I laughed because I'm still at a 4/6 but damn it felt good to hear that because she was super skinny herself.
I still don't feel skinny but maybe I will soon.
[Goal] Fit back into the top part of my prom dress :) Still fat as fuck, but it feels good to overcome my urges
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 190 lb | GW: 120 lb | 22F]
Created: Sun Oct 15 17:16:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76mh8j/fit_back_into_the_top_part_of_my_prom_dress_still/
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https://imgur.com/WXUF0sa
[Discussion] Peach 🍑
/u/posyposer [5’4 | 21.5 | CW: 125 | GW: 115]
Created: Sun Oct 15 16:37:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76m98h/peach/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Confusion
/u/SwedishKaiser
Created: Sun Oct 15 16:10:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76m3h4/confusion/
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I was talking to my SO about my ED which I'm in deep throes of right now. And I realised that during these past two months I have lost weight and have now reached or almost reached a (quite) underweight BMI.
I am shocked. In my mind I was still BMI 20 or 21 or so, but now I realize that it's not the case and that I shouldn't be crash restricting 400 calories a week.
I promised to stop, but I don't know how to. I'm still fat in my mind. I still look the same as I did 2 months ago. But apparently I look much thinner.
I feel wonky because I can't believe it. It feels like it happened so fast and I thought I was eating SO MUCH but I wasn't. So how much do I have to eat to actually objectively be eating so much? I don't even want to think about it.
[Discussion] DAE plan meals hours/days in advance?
/u/whatsupbuttercup5 [5' 3" | CW 108.0 | GW 95 | HW 124 | LW 98 | 25F]
Created: Sun Oct 15 16:06:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76m2n3/dae_plan_meals_hoursdays_in_advance/
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I've been doing so good restricting lately, I've averaged 650 calories for two weeks. And I just want to BINGE. I'm thinking about eating a small pizza tomorrow and eating maintenance just so I can keep on track after. DAE do this? I know I'll regret it but then I go through these elaborate justifications in my head as to why it's a good idea because then I can recommit without a full-on binge.
[Goal] A true test of my ED skills
/u/dbk1982 [5'2" 35F |SW 215 | CW 208 | LW 140| UGW 115 ]
Created: Sun Oct 15 15:59:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76m14b/a_true_test_of_my_ed_skills/
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I’ve just landed across the country on a trip to see my bff. It will be a true test of my ability hiding my ED from her. She’s an EMT so hiding it is going to be tricky. She knows me better than anyone else. My goal for the next few days is not to purge. Which means I can’t over eat. Unfortunately she has a bunch of food related activities lined up. Let’s hope they all have salad or at least some vegetable options. Also, from the pics I’ve seen of her on fb she looks smaller than me. I’ve always been the smaller one (although still to fat for words) so it’s triggering af knowing I’m the bigger one now.
So! The goal is to lose two pounds in four days to prove to myself that I am strong. I am stronger than tacos. I am stronger than pizza and chips and whatever else gets put in front of my all too round face.
Calories so far- 200. Let’s keep it under 1000 k?!
[Discussion] What's your average monthly weight loss?
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Sun Oct 15 15:48:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76lywg/whats_your_average_monthly_weight_loss/
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[Goal] A fucked up goal of mine
/u/nervous_nandu [5'4" | CW 128.4 | LW/GW 98| 19F]
Created: Sun Oct 15 15:47:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76lypc/a_fucked_up_goal_of_mine/
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I, like most of us here, set weirdly timed goal weights for some kind of fucked up validation. For example- my current goal is to be under 115 by the time I see my psychiatrist when I go home over Thanksgiving break. At a lower BMI, I would wear weighted clothes to my doctor, to mask my underlying eating issues. But after gaining a fuck ton all I want to do is feel validated or prove myself?
Every week I tell myself I need to gain x lbs before I see my counselor every Wednesday. Though he knows about the issue I told him I don’t want to talk about it or get better, I want him so slowly get concerned but know I still have the power to say it’s no big deal and I’m feeling fine.
I know I worded this strangely but forgive me I have fasting-brain. You all know what I mean.
&
THAT IS FUCKED UP DAISY
[Discussion] I love this, it explains it so well (with a recovery warning at the end)
/u/BluestNovember [5'4" | SW: 200+ lbs | CW: too high | BMI: under 40 | -26lbs | F]
Created: Sun Oct 15 15:42:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76lxje/i_love_this_it_explains_it_so_well_with_a/
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http://the-healing-nest.tumblr.com/post/96457447460/what-eating-disorders-are-really-about
[Other] Binge-Free October - Weekly Check-In
/u/FlabbyWhiteThighs [5'4"|117lb|22F]
Created: Sun Oct 15 15:31:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76lv7o/bingefree_october_weekly_checkin/
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How's everyone doing this week?
If things aren't going according to plan, don't worry - the month is only half over. You have another 16 days to do a little better!
[Discussion] Is anyone else attracted to plus size people, despite having an ED? Maybe because I don't have to compare my body as much?
/u/Kylepinocchio
Created: Sun Oct 15 15:30:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76lv60/is_anyone_else_attracted_to_plus_size_people/
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Hello everyone!
I recently began a relationship with a gorgeous girl. I honestly love everything about her. One interesting thing, though, is that she is overweight (and I don't know her weight, but I'm guessing most likely obese too).
I am not currently underweight (I was, then I recovered, now I'm losing weight again and am close to underweight again) but I am obviously much thinner than her, in addition to being taller.
The funny thing is, I've always been attracted to larger girls. I've dated thin girls too, but it's somewhat ironic how I like curves on girls given how terrified I am of being fat.
It made me realize, fat doesn't bother me, it's the idea of not being in control of my own body that bothers me. (Plus gender dysphoria, ugh.)
The other thing is, I find it easier to date people who are bigger than me because my ED brain doesn't compare myself to them as much. With my previous girlfriend, she had a BMI of 17.6 or so and I could never stop comparing myself to her. I can relax more when *I'm* the thinner one.
I know a lot of people with EDs find thinness attractive in other people, but I was just wondering if anyone else out here has similar tendencies with who you are attracted to.
*disclaimer: This post wasn't about fetishes or sexualizing girl's bodies, my only intent was a discussion of romantic attraction. Personality is my #1 factor when I am attracted to girls, but I was curious what you guys think of physical appearance in who you date.
[Discussion] Anyone else stuck wearing frumpy clothes until they can stick to one weight?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 15 14:26:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76lghu/anyone_else_stuck_wearing_frumpy_clothes_until/
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[deleted]
[Help] Weighed myself for the first time in 2 weeks. So disappointed.
/u/lavenderbruises [5'9"|CW 114| GW 105| BMI 16.8| 19F]
Created: Sun Oct 15 14:19:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76lesp/weighed_myself_for_the_first_time_in_2_weeks_so/
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I don't have a digital scale at home so I have to go to the school gym to use the balance beam scale there.
I was 116 pounds when I last weighed myself 2 weeks ago. Now I am 114 pounds.
I am so disappointed. These past 2 weeks I've been eating less than 900 calories a day and I fully expected at LEAST a 4 pound difference. But nope. Barely anything. I am so frustrated with myself. What the hell am I doing wrong? At this rate, I probably won't even reach my goal weight by Christmas.
[Rant/Rave] Just dumped a guy because he said something about my body
/u/schoolgirlqt [5'6.5" |120lbs| BMI:19.1 |21F]
Created: Sun Oct 15 14:02:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76lasn/just_dumped_a_guy_because_he_said_something_about/
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*Update: he sincerely apologized and feels really bad. He was really sweet and understanding, although I did not take him back. It bothered me that he had that thought in the first place and after all the support you guys and my mom and sister gave me I decided I don't need to be stressed out with a new relationship at this point in my life. And screw the wacko that grabbed my belly I'll wipe my tears with the G he gave me lol!!! Thank you guys <3
This guy I was seeing is the exact height as me and according to his license, 10 lbs more. He's really lean and maybe a bit self conscious of his size. I never did or said anything to make him feel that way. I wore shorter shoes and tried to make him feel like a man.
But this m%ther f%cker has made comments about me "getting flat abs," "a bigger butt," and then lastly he said I should work on my lower waist (love handles/hips) so that my waist tapers down to my butt. KILL ME. My square hips are my biggest insecurity. I try so hard to lose stomach fat and build my butt at the same time not to mention I suffer from an ED and GI issues that bloat me all the time. I'm stuck with high hips for life unless I get a fat graft-kardashian style (tempting in my line of work but fuck that).
I quit my job for the time being for him (stripper, here) because he wanted to take care of me. I changed a lot and tried to be chill because I loved how in charge he was. After that? I was like why tf am I doing any of this???
But then I go back to work that night and sell 2 champagne rooms with a guy who has fallen in love (lol). Randomly he grabs my stomach and says "you're a bit chunky, aren't you?" I wanna die. I weigh 120 at 5'6". I've let myself eat normally and gained 5 lbs. And now I'm fucking chunky.
This morning I woke up to 13 calls from the guy I was seeing and now I don't know if I seriously dumped him because he said something about my body or if I was thinking there was more to it? I feel crazy. Also, I didn't take adderall that night so I was probably moody, but if I was willing to dump him I had to have another reason right? I'm going crazy. (Also, fuck you adderall for not making me skinny like it does to everyone else.)
tl;dr I don't know if I'm justified in dumping this guy but I'm going crazy because I feel like a fat piece of shit.
[Rant/Rave] Started a new job a couple of weeks ago. Also, feeling like I've reached a point of transition with my disorder.
/u/lonas_ [M | 145 | Everything I've Ever Let Go Of Has Claw Marks On It]
Created: Sun Oct 15 13:30:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76l3kn/started_a_new_job_a_couple_of_weeks_ago_also/
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I started a new job after being unemployed and out of school for, what, 4 months I think? And I feel a lot better about myself. It's at a shitty sports bar, cooking wings. It's really easy, just kind of physically intense for someone of my build and really emotionally gruelling having to interface with people I normally wouldn't ever interface with. Like, older men with way more restaurant experience than me that are also just casually bigoted and softly repugnant like most men in restaurant work tend to be, I've heard. So it sucks. But I like it. I feel like I'm growing a lot emotionally and learning how to live as a person outside of my comfort zone, and I'm proud of myself for that, considering I hadn't really left the house for four months.
Sucks having to handle food though. I eat tons of fried food on the job because I mean, it's there you know? At least don't let the leftovers go to waste, you know? But even if I'm stuffing my face all the time while I'm on the clock, I still don't really know if I'm ever eating enough. I don't really count calories, so I assume that everything that I'm eating adds up to around 2000 calories a day. But I know deeper down that that isn't right, that it's like a former friend of mine told me, usually people eat three square meals a day, as a point of reference. And I don't really eat at home, apart from what little I bring home in a to go box every few nights. But I don't ever really feel that bad. Sometimes I feel a little shaky when I get into work but I'll just eat some fries and I'm fine. Even though I feel fine, something about it feels wrong, as though my idea mentally of feeling fine has adjusted in compensation with my disorder. And I'm kind of, scared, I guess? Like maybe I'll never be able to eat enough? Maybe even when I'm ready to maintain, I just won't be able to bring myself to? Sometimes eating stuff makes me feel ill, like I'm ready to burst. And it doesn't even feel like that much food. so that scares me too.
Idk. I typed way more than I anticipated to. Just wanted to get this out I guess.
[Other] At this point
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'3"|110| 25F]
Created: Sun Oct 15 13:07:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76ky38/at_this_point/
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I purge on the daily except on nights I work bc I can't risk shit when I work as a night shift nurse lol
But yeah at this point I feel like I've just closed off and clammed myself over with my ED. I don't really consume thinspo on the daily (often on my secret tumblr yes but I don't do this everyday..?) do the daily weights thing... or freak out over calories...
I'm just kinda there and just maintaining and hiding my ED. Sure there are posts here and there I relate to but yeah
Feels lonely sometimes not relating to people who do these things but I feel like an outsider often anyway
People are born alone and die alone and all that I guess
Meh.
[Goal] Cher is goals
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Sun Oct 15 13:06:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76kxz6/cher_is_goals/
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https://www.instagram.com/p/BaDKAafF8BB/
[Discussion] DAE get irrationally angry when other people eat around them?
/u/starvingarthoe
Created: Sun Oct 15 12:57:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76kvx8/dae_get_irrationally_angry_when_other_people_eat/
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I love my mother, but she eats like a pig. She's sloppy, she talks with her mouth full, she just shovels it in and it is infuriating. She just destroyed a bag of smart food, handfuls at a time without even using a napkin inbetween. Maybe I get annoyed because I know I can't eat like that or when I do eat like that I literally want to kms? It's just really aggravating. Anyone else experience this?
[Rant/Rave] Why do I do this to myself
/u/bokoblin-buddy
Created: Sun Oct 15 12:54:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76kv87/why_do_i_do_this_to_myself/
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So I've been stuck in a binge cycle lately, and to 'cope with that I've been purging and taking laxatives. Well today I was supposed to be fasting and I ended up bingeing and then I took laxatives but then decided i didn't want them so threw them up but kept eating. Why do I do this???? Why can't I fucking stop omfg
[Discussion] October 15th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 15 12:46:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76ktbt/october_15th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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How much time do you spend commuting?
(Sorry it’s so late guys)
[Other] I don't know if this is allowed but this one video changed my life. It's nice to hear recovery words from someone who has actually struggled, not a doctor who memorized a textbook
/u/Giraffemakinfriends
Created: Sun Oct 15 12:45:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76kt31/i_dont_know_if_this_is_allowed_but_this_one_video/
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https://youtu.be/I938meyE3mI
[Help] How much can you lose while fasting
/u/throwaway00000710
Created: Sun Oct 15 12:20:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76kn8y/how_much_can_you_lose_while_fasting/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] When you're #feelingx instead of feeling full. My ultimate thinsporation
/u/skinnysynth [5'3.25" | 114.6 lbs | 20.1 | -13 lbs | 🤖]
Created: Sun Oct 15 12:17:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76kmic/when_youre_feelingx_instead_of_feeling_full_my/
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https://i.redd.it/qhzye0alc1sz.png
How much can you lose while fasting
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 15 12:08:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76kkld/how_much_can_you_lose_while_fasting/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Any Christians here
/u/ohwellwhatever90 [166cm | 45 | 16.3 | -30 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 15 11:58:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76ki9t/any_christians_here/
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Just wondering if anyone else here is Christian? I converted earlier this year and find it really complicates matters ED-wise... anyone out there with the same issue? Would love to chat about it. I also have literally zero genuine Christian friends (as in not surface level church acquaintances) so it would be nice to find someone.
[Rant/Rave] I just binged on peanut butter with broken glass
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 15 11:34:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76kcq2/i_just_binged_on_peanut_butter_with_broken_glass/
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Lol wth is wrong with me. I wouldn’t say it was a true/bad binge but I ate it really fast and didn’t accurately gauge the calories. The best part was spit out peices of glass.
Its cause I really wanted peanut butter and the grocery bag broke breaking the glass in the jar.
[Discussion] I ate, and now I'm very depressed.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 15 11:26:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76kawz/i_ate_and_now_im_very_depressed/
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[deleted]
[Goal] Restricting myself from going to the grocery store for the rest of month
/u/sororityasian [5'4" | -5lbs | GW: 110lbs]
Created: Sun Oct 15 10:52:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76k35j/restricting_myself_from_going_to_the_grocery/
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I feel like sometimes I'm so bored that I go grocery shopping for absolutely no reason. I live alone, and eat very sparingly so I don't know why I keep going like every other day lololol. Also I was looking at my expenses this month and I've definitely spent more than $200 on food so far in October (I only shop at Whole Foods) and there's fruit that's about to go bad in my fridge. I also tend to go to the grocery store when I'm hungry to save myself from eating out but I feel like I eat more calories buying food at the grocery store??
I'm telling myself to avoid the grocery and just go to the farmers market on Sunday's because that way I have something to look forward to instead of sabotaging myself lol
[Discussion] What did you do when you were confronted about your weight/eating?
/u/avaflies [5'4" | GW bone]
Created: Sun Oct 15 10:45:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76k1cw/what_did_you_do_when_you_were_confronted_about/
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I'm trying to get an idea of what generally happens when people want to intervene so I can prepare myself.
I've lost and gained weight rapidly several times and nobody has ever confronted me on it. Now I'm moving in with my best friend and I know her, she's the only person that really cares for my well being and at some point she will say something. I've got my lies set straight so that for a while the weight loss will seem like it's because I stopped eating fast food(partially true). But all good (bad?) things come to an end eventually.
So what did you do when you were "caught"? If you're still flying under the radar like I am what do you think you'll do?
^^Also ^^shout ^^out ^^to ^^everyone ^^else ^^who ^^is ^^relapsing ^^this ^^season ^^due ^^to ^^stress, ^^lust, ^^and ^^halloween.
[Help] Made this in my notes to help me when I'm feeling a binge coming on-anyone have anything to add?
/u/xwer15 [5'5| 142.6 | -18| GW:100| F]
Created: Sun Oct 15 10:39:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76k05c/made_this_in_my_notes_to_help_me_when_im_feeling/
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https://i.redd.it/r9boafx6v0sz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Let's celebrate some NSVs!
/u/WhattheNorris [5'2 | 154/126.2/110 | ❥]
Created: Sun Oct 15 10:33:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76jyqg/lets_celebrate_some_nsvs/
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I just realized my cheekbones are coming back. I'm CARVED hunties. Too bad I can't lose weight in my chin lol
Are you guys celebrating any NSVs? Or looking forward to any? I'm thinking soon I'm going to have to buy a smaller pair of jean shorts!
foods that are easy to c/s
/u/Imberryhigh
Created: Sun Oct 15 09:21:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76jip2/foods_that_are_easy_to_cs/
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[removed]
[Help] feeling literally crazy
/u/basedgore [5'3| CW:90lb | UGW: 90lb | M]
Created: Sun Oct 15 07:58:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76j2n0/feeling_literally_crazy/
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i don't know if something wrong with me or whatever but the last two days I've felt really out of it. like im high or something out of it. (I got /actually/ high Friday night but I came down and recognized sobering up so its definitely not the weed...)
yesterday I felt incredibly weak walking to the gym, and couldnt form thoughts. I called my friend and felt like I was really messed up. time was moving really slow and really fast despite being sober. I was incredibly weak all day and had to lie down in the car for a half hour before I walked inside my house- I didnt even realize a half hour passed. I've only very suddenly experienced this. I still feel very very off. whats going on? I ate high ( <1100 ) yesterday so it shouldn't be my intake.
[Help] Cant stop bingeing on weekends
/u/boohochix
Created: Sun Oct 15 07:19:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76iw85/cant_stop_bingeing_on_weekends/
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I can’t stop bingeing on weekends, I don’t know how to stop !!
[Discussion] Plateaus
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 90ishlbs | BMI 16.46ish | GW: 82lbs | 20F]
Created: Sun Oct 15 07:12:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76iv8t/plateaus/
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I hate plateau's. I've just hit my first one in a long time. I've been stuck between 89.4lbs and 89.6lbs for like a week now and it's so frustrating.
How do you guys get through plateaus in your weight? Do you guys just stay consistent or do you guys tend to switch up your caloric intake?
[Rant/Rave] Okay cool I’m just not going to eat til thanksgiving (jk who wants to bet I binge all week)
/u/religiousdogmom [5'5.75 | CW165 | GW110 | BMI 26.6 | 25F]
Created: Sun Oct 15 06:53:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76isaz/okay_cool_im_just_not_going_to_eat_til/
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Forgot to take my meds yesterday and also drank alcohol and now my heart is POUNDING OUT OF MY CHEST. I have a lot of anxiety/ed triggers right now. And I’m on mobile so sorry for any format weirdness.
1. I’m currently overdrawn. My boyfriend is supposed to get me money on Monday but whatever we will see if THAT happens.
2. My cunt nuggets of an aunt, cousin and grandma are all coming for thanksgiving. They literally hate my mother so much they ruin this holiday every year. They’re on my dads side and they are all evil. A few highlights from the past few years: my aunt and grandma sent my mother an “anonymous” note with an advertisement for a book: “What to do when your husband leaves you.” (They are mad that my dad married my mom.... 29 years ago and they’re still going strong. AND that my mom is a stay at home mom and doesn’t work (even tho my grandma did that).) My Aunt sighed it with her initials really small.
They have tried to mentally manipulate my mom by stealing her clothes and cutting up her underwear. My grandma has always tried to walk in on me in the bathroom. My cousin, a white liberal film maker, literally wrote a poem pathologilizing black men and used the n-word in it. Like the whole slur. And didn’t see a problem with it until I messaged her and was like “uh”. Oh but SHE WANTS TO MAKE A SHOW FOR WHITE PEOPLE ON HOW TO NOT BE RACIST.
Anyway, I’m having a full on ED panic mode. I’m not even going to pretend I’m not fucked up over them coming. My cousin is taller than me and so skinny. And I’ve always been the overweight cousin, since I was young, except the two times I was in the middle of an ED, And now I’m going to be the larger cousin at thanksgiving again. I’m bigger than my sisters right now too so it’s just a huge shitty trigger. I’m not even going to lie and say that I’m trying to handle it. I’m spiraling tbh. My Dad’s side of the family has always liked me better when I am skinny. My grandma literally showed her love more when I lost 30 pounds when I was 13. It’s fucked up. Anyway, I don’t want to eat. My restriction has ramped way up. I don’t want to do thanksgiving this year but I also don’t want to leave my mom alone with these people. I’m so anxious right now I just want to cry but also I can’t cry because I’m too anxious.
GONNA BE A SAD DUMB MESS ALL DAY SEND FUNNY THINGS AND PICTURES AND ENCOURAGEMENT. Also clever passive aggressive disses to keep in my arsenal.
[Discussion] DAE: Birth control seriously messing with your weight?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 15 06:48:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76irn7/dae_birth_control_seriously_messing_with_your/
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[deleted]
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your favorite recipes!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Oct 15 06:11:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76im6d/sunday_share_your_favorite_recipes/
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Looking for memes? [Right this way~](/r/ProEDmemes)!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 15, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Oct 15 06:10:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76im5h/daily_food_diary_october_15_2017/
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This is a daily food diary thread for October 15, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] Relapse
/u/bloodbuzzz
Created: Sun Oct 15 06:05:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76il9s/relapse/
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I relapsed and purged tonight and I don't know how to feel about it.
I've been in recovery since February and in that time I've purged maybe twice, but I completed my recovery program about 2 months ago and really felt like ... that was it. My eating disorder was behind me. I literally felt like I got my life back. I've been restricting/purging for the past ten years, with varying severity, and I finally just got to the point where ... I'd entirely had enough, I wanted it gone.
Ever since I finished my program I've felt, like, *so* scared at the thought of relapsing. Like, if I relapse, that's it, I will literally end up dying from this. I've scrolled through this sub before and seen posts about relapsing and felt absolutely fucking terrified.
And things have felt like, easy, and good, for the most part. I hadn't been restricting or purging or even body-checking - I'd weigh myself once a week and just keep on living my life. There've been times I've wanted to purge or restrict, but it's always felt fairly easy to keep chugging along and not give into bad feelings.
And then, tonight. The past couple of days have been kind of rough, it's felt a little exhausting wanting to restrict/self-harm/purge and feeling like I constantly have to talk myself down from those feelings. I feel like I've spent a lot of time crying or almost crying or feeling like the people I love would be better off without me. I had a fight with my boyfriend (entirely my fault), and just ... I don't know. I went to shower and purged. It felt so automated and natural. I didn't even think about it - I think that's why it's freaking me out so much. And I don't even know how I feel about it now. I still feel fucking terrified of relapsing, but in the back of my mind there's a voice, like, *if you ever feel bad, you know what to do*.
This is such a novel, I'm so sorry. I don't even know if I posted this in the right place - it seems like a lot of people in here aren't in recovery. And I know that one slip doesn't mean that a full-blown relapse is imminent. I just really, really feel like shit and wanted to say something.
[Goal] like this
/u/sluttyspook
Created: Sun Oct 15 04:16:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76i7rs/like_this/
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https://i.pinimg.com/originals/a0/cf/72/a0cf72f6deb3dcae505edc8716ec137d.jpg
[Help] i can't stop crying, so tell me something good about anything please.
/u/misterrazorz [159 | 44.4 | 17.9 | a]
Created: Sun Oct 15 03:44:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76i412/i_cant_stop_crying_so_tell_me_something_good/
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just that
because at the top of the week i gained THREE KILOS overnight and i haven't been able to shed it the entire week. i've cried so much over this and i can't think what i did so differently that would warrant the weight gain. i eat and i work out. i'm looking at my weight tracker app an wanting to cry again.
so yea, tell me good things, i don't care what about,
[Other] Hey all, just wanted to share how low dose naltrexone has really been helping my binges
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Sun Oct 15 02:00:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76hrzz/hey_all_just_wanted_to_share_how_low_dose/
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So I started taking low dose naltrexone about a month ago. It reduced the frequency of my binges by like 60% (so it wasn’t perfect but made a huuuuge difference) and when I did binge, it was also way way less. Well the last week I started to run out and so I started just taking it every other day.
Guys, today I didn’t take any and even though I had tacos for breakfast (carbs in the morning trigger binges) and went to a farm and got apple pie (this is like a death sentence for me) I ONLY ATE UNTIL I WAS FULL. I also had a sandwich for dinner (I have zero control around then) and I only overate a little.
And I’m talking like normal healthy people portions. I’m at maintenance now. I felt like a normal person today and I was around so much trigger food.
Oh right I forgot I HAD AN ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE AT LUNCH AND STILL DIDN’T OVEREAT.
Sorry for screaming, I’m typically not the type to write in all caps but I am this goddamned excited.
But also still hesitant..I’m weary about feeling like I finally found the solution to my binging.
But seriously I’ve been eating normal foods that typically trigger my binges (my cousin had at her house literally my favorite bread on the planet...last time I was there I ate an entire loaf and felt sick and this time I didn’t even take a bite or even THINK about it) and I’ve only overeaten (by normal people standards) a couple times. Not even a real binge. For weeks. It’s insane.
Anyway this is just my experience but I thought it’s worth sharing in case anyone is interested. I feel like it’s made my brain stop being so out of control over wanting to eat food and think about food when at heart I don’t want to. Like it fixes my food addiction.
Sorry if this post is word-vomity and/or a little splattered. It’s very late and I’m super sleepy but I wanted to share and I don’t feel like editing.
💗
[Discussion] Would you guys be interested in putting together a list of red flags or signs that someone is purging?
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Sun Oct 15 01:39:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76hpml/would_you_guys_be_interested_in_putting_together/
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I’m not even sure how you all would feel about this, but I just had the thought given an experience I had earlier today (I’m 16mo free of purging and my cousin thought I purged today because I bought three different pies at a farm famous for their apple pie, and I’m flying home tomorrow and taking them with me) and I peed before lunch...way off)
I feel like there are obvious signs of purging that most people look out for (long time in bathroom after a meal) but there are some that are too subtle for most people to pick up.
For example, I was a super sneaky purger. I was on and off for 12 years and no one ever caught or suspected me. But there were a couple things that I was aware of that could have been noticed if others knew.
I don’t know if you guys here would even want this information put together if you’re not trying to have anyone notice, but then again, maybe it’s a good thing for people to know some real red flags.
Here’s a couple of mine:
-Glassy-eyed after coming out of the bathroom. This one happened to me a lot and would fade in a few minutes, but this was impossible to cover up
-vomit splatter under the toilet rim. I would usually wipe it away with a huge wad of paper (gross still, I know), but I figure not everyone does it
-clearing my throat after coming out of the bathroom
-minty breath after coming out of the bathroom
-face a little red or puffy
[Discussion] "Functional" Anorexia?
/u/lilmdjd [5'2 | CW: 125 (ugh recovery) | GW: 100| 22F]
Created: Sun Oct 15 01:22:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76hnl8/functional_anorexia/
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After being forced to balloon up 30 lbs (and then gaining another 10 bc of binge eating and anti-psychotics), I've finally come to the decision that my goal is to develop some kind of well controlled, moderate, functional version of my eating disorder that won't be obvious/put me at risk of being in treatment or forced to gain again. I want to lose weight, and plan on doing it 'relatively' slowly and forcing myself to stop at a 'reasonable' point and maintaining it. Right now I'm aiming for 1200 + exercise, which is actually taking more mental effort and gives me less of that addictive thrill that diving head first into a fasting-fuck fest does. But i have come to accept that if I overdo it ill either end up binging or a non-functional zombie, and that doesn't benefit me or allow me to reach my goal of being on the 'functional' side of underweight.
Idk if any of this ramble makes sense, but I was curious if anyone has had any luck pulling anything like this off/had any thoughts about this? I know its a slippery slope for someone with an ED history but I remember reading posts in the past with people discussing reaching/maintaining their low weights at higher restriction.
[Discussion] Hallucinations with ED
/u/LetzBeAn
Created: Sun Oct 15 00:46:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76hiyk/hallucinations_with_ed/
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Does anyone experience visual/auditory/sensory hallucinations that worsen with ED? Like more than floor moving, but actually feeling like they are hearing things; or smelling things are most definitely aren't there; or see flickers of things? And does reality feel kind of Fake... or more frightening in some inexplicable way..?
Hallucinations with ED?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 15 00:36:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76hhpl/hallucinations_with_ed/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] For Effs Sake
/u/yourusagesucks
Created: Sun Oct 15 00:22:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76hfx4/for_effs_sake/
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I'm in treatment for my ED. My brother and sister in law come to visit me, which is awesome of them, and I get a pass to go out to eat with them.
So I have a burger. I cut it in half, and I eat most of one half, and I'm like, "This is so much food." And my SIL is like, "Yes, it is."
My brother says, "yeah, I usually eat about what you've had, and she normally has a bit less."
Well. That was it for me right there. And at least she should know better. She's a therapist. And she used to work at an eating disorder treatment facility, FFS.
[Rant/Rave] I can't stop fucking eating and I can't take it in anymore
/u/jjfmish [5'6 | HW:163lbs CW:150lbs GW:120lbs | 19/F]
Created: Sat Oct 14 23:58:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76hcr9/i_cant_stop_fucking_eating_and_i_cant_take_it_in/
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I've been binging non-stop since last Friday. Not the Friday that just passed, but last Friday. Coming home for reading week ruined over a month of solid restriction and I can't stop myself. I'm so bloated. The pants that were falling off of me 10 days ago are tight now. I'm too scared to weigh myself.
This school year was the first time that I managed to stop binging for long enough to lose a substantial amount of weight. It was like a switch clicked in my brain and suddenly I had control over food and could restrict pretty easily on 800-1000/day. I was finally feeling ok about myself, but I was terrified that the switch would flip back and I'd turn back into this fat, deprecating piece of shit. Sure enough, coming home for 10 days was exactly what I needed to revert back to my old habits. Fuck my life.
[Rant/Rave] The best complement I’ve received so far!
/u/lordjoji [5'3" | CW: 105 | 19.11 | CGW: 100 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 14 23:47:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76hbaw/the_best_complement_ive_received_so_far/
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My friend got drunk tonight, which is when she’s at her most honest, and she told me that she wishes that she had my BMI. It came totally out of the blue and I had been restricting all day so it was really nice to hear :)
[Rant/Rave] overly dramatic teenage relapse
/u/tarantulahospital [5'7 | -40lb | F]
Created: Sat Oct 14 23:15:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76h6q9/overly_dramatic_teenage_relapse/
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protip: don't watch movies notorious for being ""thinspo"" when you KNOW you're relapsing
i wish i actually restricted haha
all i do is binge and sometimes purge
what a lame ed of mine
i wish my fucking 3 year long suffering with this disorder had something to show for it
all ive got is my bmi from 33 to 29.5 and it goes up and down but i never get below 175. i'm just a yoyo dieter aren't i
don't even purge often enough to be bulimic
i see other people losing weight and all i can do is lose and gain the same 10 pounds. i'm a faker.
anyway ill probably delete this in the morning. had like 4 monster energy zeros in a row so thats why this is really dramatic :-)
[Discussion] Dessert teas and gums -- any recommendations?
/u/champu-petal [5'6" | CW: 111 | HW: 152 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 14 23:00:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76h4g2/dessert_teas_and_gums_any_recommendations/
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i've become **o b s e s s e d** with celestial fireside vanilla spice tea and drink it for breakfast every morning. what else do you guys like??
i group gum into that same category of flavor w/o many calories which is why i asked for both :)
[Rant/Rave] Why do we self sabotage?
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Sat Oct 14 22:30:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76h05q/why_do_we_self_sabotage/
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I'm finally over my plateau and back to losing weight - so naturally at lunch I order a boost juice and save my calories for the meals I actually have to spend with others?
OF👏🏾COURSE👏🏾NOT
I ate a whole fucking bowl of chicken fried rice and washed it down with chocolate milk - fml
Purging has never seemed so appealing, but I'm trying not to fall down that rabbit hole.
[Help] Anyone have any tips for not throwing up stomach acid?
/u/dancingblobfish
Created: Sat Oct 14 21:48:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76gtl0/anyone_have_any_tips_for_not_throwing_up_stomach/
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[removed]
[Discussion] does anyone else not want anyone to notice them losing weight?
/u/fruitlops [5'4 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 14 21:42:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76gslh/does_anyone_else_not_want_anyone_to_notice_them/
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I think I just hate when people notice that I'm *trying* to do something? Like I'm making my struggles public and it just feels indecent and shameful. I just want 2 be perceived as a beautiful effortless butterfly damn.
(My weight fluctuation range is small to begin with and in the normal bmi range so people probably don't even notice to begin with lol -_-)
[Rant/Rave] [rant/rave] triggering family :P
/u/stygaingrey [Height 5'5'' | CW 116 | GW 95 ]
Created: Sat Oct 14 21:10:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76gnjg/rantrave_triggering_family_p/
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So my grandparents came to visit me in college today...I really love them and all, but honestly today was super hard on me. We went out for lunch together and I had a 6oz bowl of chicken soup(only 120 kcal...) and was met with the comment "If you keep eating that way you're going to get fat, you know." Later we had dinner and I ate some veggies and shrimp(about 250kcal?)and was once again told "if you're not careful you're gonna gain weight. watch what you put in your mouth." Like ok????????? I'm slowly dying of starvation here and you're telling me 370 kcal is going to make me fat?
guess who's fasting tomorrow lolol...
EDIT: I broke the title and idk how to fix it. Bleugh.
[Other] is there an ED story subreddit?
/u/xxxhopee
Created: Sat Oct 14 20:53:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76gkb7/is_there_an_ed_story_subreddit/
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i've always wondered if there was one, for specifically telling ed related stores (i have a few of my own to share) like there is r/fatpeoplestores and r/neckbeardstories. does anyone else want this or just me??
[Rant/Rave] (rant) First time experiencing this
/u/Goth_Moth [5'6 | CW: 129 | BMI: 20.1 | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 14 20:27:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76gfyo/rant_first_time_experiencing_this/
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So I somehow felt good enough tonight to go out to eat with some friends at an all-you-can-eat sushi place. I was actually excited about it.
We didn't know, but one of the guys decided to bring his new gf with him. She's very thin and barely ate anything. A small soup here, a piece of salmon there. She looked so delicate and in control, and there I was stuffing my stupid face. I felt so embarrassed and fat and ugly. I'm trying really hard not to purge right now. I just wanna cry and fast for a week.
[Help] a whole week of +3000 calories.
/u/the-watermeloner [112.2 lbs | 5'4.25" | bmi 19.45 | -2.4 lbs | 20.13 | 14f]
Created: Sat Oct 14 20:13:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76gdnf/a_whole_week_of_3000_calories/
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it hurts to breathe. it hurts to touch my stomach and feel every square inch if failure, every gram I've put on. disgusting is a full body emotion, from the tips of my toes to the bottom of my chin. my head stays above, floating like a disembodied set of eyes staring down at the disappointment that is me. I sigh heavily as my hands reach forward without permission, blindly grasping for sugar-coated treats and calories by the hundreds.
how can I stop when my mind rips away from my sanity and ignores the tiny voice in me that screams for skinny? how can I stop when the lies, the excuses, the pitiful reasons are on my tongue as I slip into the kitchen at midnight?
how can I break free?
will I ever be able to open a cupboard and not feel a crushing tsunami of guilt, a gripping memory of every corner I've reached into, scouring for food?
this life is not worth living.
[Help] OCPD? Anyone here diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder? Everything I’ve read on this is, well, me. Can’t help but think ED may be related.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 14 20:08:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76gcmd/ocpd_anyone_here_diagnosed_with_obsessive/
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https://psychcentral.com/disorders/obsessive-compulsive-personality-disorder-symptoms/
[Rant/Rave] My coworker literally called me fat today.
/u/lovelyannie [5’2” | 167 | 30.6 | -20lbs | Female]
Created: Sat Oct 14 19:36:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76g726/my_coworker_literally_called_me_fat_today/
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I’m not sure what to flag this as (mods please help), but it sucked so bad.
I mentioned that my Fitbit broke and I was thinking of getting a new one, and I was telling her about the Alta HR that’s rose gold and pink. She said she might get that one too, since she just started going back to the gym.
I said I’ve started putting more effort in too (y’all know what that means, but I left it ambiguous for obvious reasons) and she said “yeah, that’s good. You’ve been getting fat again.”
Seriously? I mean, okay, I know she’s from India (I’m in Canada) but seriously. Is it really polite in any culture to say that?
Then I acted like it didn’t bother me (but I mockingly said “ouch!”) and she said “well, it’s true. You can’t hide it.”
Excuse me while I go die.
[Rant/Rave] it finally happened, i'm too upset to eat
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1.5" | cw 157 | gw 145 | ugw 100 | -13]
Created: Sat Oct 14 19:22:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76g4lo/it_finally_happened_im_too_upset_to_eat/
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usually I get upset them I binge. Or I smoke weed and then binge. Or drink, then binge.
Without going into detail, someone who I thought was my friend is clearly not. They've accused me of something that you'd honestly have to be a pretty evil person to do. He's done it in front of our friends. It's been so long that there's no way for me to prove I haven't done it, and I feel that way I used to get when very depressed. Even food won't help this. Nothing will help this. The intrusive thoughts just say for me to end my life, whenever I start to feel okay for a minute something will happen that is awful and unfair and I am never allowed to be okay. I can never avoid people long enough that they'll forget I exist and stop talking about me. I can never escape
[Goal] Didn't go through with my planned binge, I did it!!
/u/grave_stoned [6'1" / F / CW: 166.8 / GW: 140]
Created: Sat Oct 14 19:19:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76g429/didnt_go_through_with_my_planned_binge_i_did_it/
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((On mobile so I can't flair))
Last week on Friday I told myself if I managed to make it a week without any huge b/p cycles, I could go to Taco Bell and order to my hearts content the next Friday (yesterday). I'd been looking forward to it all week, Taco Bell was a big reason I'd put on so much weight in the first place. But Friday came, and instead I chose to go over to a friend's house and be social! (given, they were making Oreo/chocolate chip cookie/ brownie all in one cookie things?? Who does that?? I didn't have any thank god.)
Woke up hungover but happy I didn't give in! Hope all of you guys have something to feel proud of today too!<3
[Rant/Rave] it finally happened, i'm too upset to eat
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 14 19:04:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76g192/it_finally_happened_im_too_upset_to_eat/
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[deleted]
I don't know how to stop bingeing
/u/Bleepbloopbroke [65|CW 120|GW 107|UGW 84|20.2| -13| F]
Created: Sat Oct 14 18:54:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76fzk9/i_dont_know_how_to_stop_bingeing/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Does anyone else do this?
/u/dope-iramate [5'4" | SW 158 | CW 115 | GW 100 | 28F]
Created: Sat Oct 14 18:30:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76fvee/does_anyone_else_do_this/
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I’ll get myself a nice dinner, just like a normal person. Won’t think twice about it while eating. Then after eating it I’ll randomly get a thought, “yup, you need to go throw it up.” So then I do. BUT THEN I go right to the kitchen and binge more, undoing all that work. Like WTF. I won’t purge the second time though, usually I just drink and go to bed. It’s so fucking annoying :(
[Help] Why am I not losing anymore???
/u/plantbasedpumpkin
Created: Sat Oct 14 18:09:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76fr82/why_am_i_not_losing_anymore/
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[removed]
[Goal] Fasting for 2 weeks
/u/starvingarthoe
Created: Sat Oct 14 18:02:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76fq31/fasting_for_2_weeks/
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I'm having a Halloween party on the 28th. That gives me 14 days to lose as much weight as possible. I'm 232 now I'm hoping to lose 10 pounds by then. I'll still be really fat but the people coming that I haven't seen in a while will think I lost a lot of weight and that's all I really care about right now
[Rant/Rave] Sometimes I wonder why I even bother....
/u/sadfatgirl- [5'7 | c189.8| g110 | -18]
Created: Sat Oct 14 16:33:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76f9e3/sometimes_i_wonder_why_i_even_bother/
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I was doing so well. I hadn't binged in so long. After the 30 day mark, I started to wonder if I'd somehow magically been freed from my ED... but no. My parents hosted a party and I was forced to chat with all of their friends for several hours today, continuously being offered foods and deserts and carb-stuffed everything. I binged. I did it. I'm still doing it. I stopped counting after 3000 calories because I'm a pig who doesn't even care anymore. I'm trying not to cry so that I can go back outside and face people and take more food with me to eat. I'm sorry for ranting I'm just sad right now and I can't control myself :(
Edit: saw recent posts with similar names😞unintentional I'm just unoriginal
[Rant/Rave] Lolllllll my cousin incorrectly suspected me of purging
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Sat Oct 14 16:03:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76f33l/lolllllll_my_cousin_incorrectly_suspected_me_of/
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My cousin is a licensed psychologist and knows about some of my eating disorder history. I made one of my first posts about how she thought she knew better than I did what binging was (I admitted I binged on rice when I was at her house—I wasn’t hungry for dinner and ate an entire huge portion of kebabs and rice, which was like 2 full cups of buttered flavored rice...needless to say I felt sick and YOU all know that it’s a binge). Yeah anyway I have been 16 months purge free and will never purge again (after realizing how fat it made my face look and that it doesn’t actually “fix” the problem for me. This week I went to visit her and we stopped by this apple orchard famous for their pies. I bought three pies because 1) I want to share them with my Roomates when I get home and 2) I might give some pie to some of my clients (I’m a personal chef) and 3) I’m doing another round of the HCG diet when I get back home so I acutely have to binge for two days.
This weekend I have actually been eating suuuper well. Like right at/a tiny bit below maintenance and I haven’t over eaten at any meals. I’ve been normal about my food.
And right after I bought the pies, she asked me if I was purging because she’s seen me go to the bathroom a lot around the time we’ve been eating....
....which isn’t even true. I had to pee twice today (just pee, wasn’t even in the bathroom for a long time) and I went before we went to lunch and again two hours later *before* we bought the pies, which none of us even opened or ate.
I appreciate her forward ness and concern but she’s just missed the mark so incredibly far that it made me laugh and I thought it would make you laugh too.
Basically the only point of concern reference she could have was me buying three pies, but I’ve been talking about sharing stuff with my clients a couple times
😑😑😑
[Goal] BMI dropping!
/u/cookiecutterhands
Created: Sat Oct 14 14:34:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76ekvx/bmi_dropping/
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I'm on mobile so I can't flair. Butttt, I recently just recalculated my BMI and I've gone down from 24.8 to 20.9, and that's a great big relief because I've been eating more lately now that my dad has caught onto my eating habits. I still feel so disproportionate regarding my fat distribution around my body but I'm losing more and more weight as time goes on. (Just not fast enough.)
[Discussion] Benefits of being single
/u/lavenderbruises [5'9"|CW 114| GW 105| BMI 16.8| 19F]
Created: Sat Oct 14 14:30:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76ejz4/benefits_of_being_single/
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I see so many posts about boyfriends and such and I feel sad LOL. But I thought up some upsides of being perpetually single and ED:
1. No dates, meaning no high calorie meals, snacks, drinks, etc.
2. No feeling self conscious about my body.
3. Being able to eat 600cals a day without anybody noticing.
[Discussion] (Discussion/Meta kinda) Some of these posts.
/u/PotterWasMyFirstLove
Created: Sat Oct 14 14:26:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76ej7m/discussionmeta_kinda_some_of_these_posts/
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Hello friends, I would like to start of by saying that I think it's amazing that such a supporting community exists, where people can share their most shameful thoughts (like wanting other people to get fatter for example) and not get judged, since it's all part of the disease.
However, I have one issue. Sometimes I read rants where it's painfully obvious that the people involved aren't the demons the poster describes them to be. And since this community is so supportive, I see comments bashing the people involved in the stories. Again, I'm only talking about the posts where it's *really* obvious it's in the OP's head.
I feel like that is a toxic way of supporting someone, and does more damage than good to the OP.
I was wondering how you guys feel about this. Do you think validating what the OP says about the people around them (ex. when it's a miscommunication) is better than pointing out that they might be seeing things worse than they are meant to be (very normal for eating disorders)?
Also, if you think that I'm completely wrong and just too naive in thinking it's just miscommunication, I'd love to hear about that too!
EDIT: I would love it if people who disagree with me would share their opinion (that's what a discussion is for!) I'd like to understand it more, so please don't be afraid of the one sided comments right now, everyone's opinion matters.
[Rant/Rave] I don't know why I bother sometimes
/u/ruralfishingcat [5'5 | 122 | 20.5 | - 5 | 21 F]
Created: Sat Oct 14 14:24:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76eis3/i_dont_know_why_i_bother_sometimes/
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Honestly like. I'VE DONE EVERYTHING RIGHT WHY DO I STILL FEEL LIKE SHIT
I got 9 hours of sleep, I took my medication, I actually ate food (and it was healthy and a reasonable amount), I took a 15 minute bike ride, and I was out in the sunshine.
So why do I still feel like I want to fucking die? I did everything they say to do when you have depression: get enough sleep, eat healthy, get outside and get sun and exercise, take your medication. But I still feel the same as the days when I just lie in bed and curl up and cry.
It's not fair. I'm so tired of being unhappy.
[Discussion] Any Asians here? or other POC? :)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 14 14:22:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76eihw/any_asians_here_or_other_poc/
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[deleted]
[Help] I ate a bacon sandwich but threw it up rather swiftly... any insight on the damage caused?
/u/Kimstephaniejane [5'5" | CW: 120 | GW: 106 | BMI: ? |F]
Created: Sat Oct 14 13:58:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76eday/i_ate_a_bacon_sandwich_but_threw_it_up_rather/
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SO YE... I binged... I regretted immediately (like 5 - 10 mins later) and I'm sure I got at least 80% of it out. Would the fats and grease already have affected me? Was it too late? I'm sorry for the stupidity, I'm nowhere close to a dietitian and have no idea if throwing up something so fatty would even reverse enough of the damage done. Thank you to anyone who has any input!
[Rant/Rave] Told myself I wouldn't purge again
/u/lissome_ [5'5 | GW 150 | UGW 110 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 14 13:34:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76e8dg/told_myself_i_wouldnt_purge_again/
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and I only lasted three months lol. No surprise I gained 20+ lbs because I don't know what self control is, but I'm back in the process of losing because I have an important event coming up next month and as vain as this is going to sound, I want to be 10 lbs smaller and look super hot even though I won't be necessarily skinny lmao.
If only I could do it a healthier way, but I swear, it's like I can't see any progress unless I actively resort to high restriction or purging... *sigh*
I've been with MIA on and off for 10 years and just learned a new trick.
/u/aeoliaa
Created: Sat Oct 14 13:24:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76e66r/ive_been_with_mia_on_and_off_for_10_years_and/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I feel sexually inadequate, and it makes me want to restrict
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Sat Oct 14 13:10:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76e35n/i_feel_sexually_inadequate_and_it_makes_me_want/
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I am not curvy, I am not well-endowed, and I'm not petite. I'm tall and angular, and just sort of thin. I feel so sexually unattractive sometimes, and I just feel so *inadequate*. Like, yes, straight guys can find me sexually attractive, but they find other girls a lot more attractive. So I want to be skinny so at least other women might find my body appealing. And maybe the lack of nutrition will kill my sex drive, so that way I won't ever want to have sex again.
[Discussion] DAE come up with crazy scenarios in their head to get through the day?
/u/Funktionierende [25F | 5'2" | CW131.2lbs | SW185lbs | GW100lbs | BMI24]
Created: Sat Oct 14 12:50:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76dz1d/dae_come_up_with_crazy_scenarios_in_their_head_to/
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I'm committed to 400 or less calories per day this week, and yesterday was a particularly rough day at work. I had a lot of labour-intensive tasks to complete outside in the cold, and a wide enough range of tasks that I kind of had to be prepared for everything. So there I am, wearing: leggings, Carhartt pants, long sleeve shirt, hoodie over the shirt, blue FR coveralls over all that, steel toed boots, hardhat with a lamp and ear muffs on it, red survey vest containing my work phones, my logbook, a radio and mike, with my toolbelt. Altogether, about 50lbs of gear.
I'm working hard, and wearing a lot of clothing, working 14-hr days, and restricting: I'm tired. I'd be tired even if I were eating four times as much as I am.
One of my guys rolls up in a truck in the early afternoon, and comments, "Wow. You're really geared up. You going to war or something?"
And a switch flipped in my head. I wasn't tired anymore. I had to persevere. I wasn't just a working grunt toting around cases of rod and pulling wrenches. I was a soldier in some dystopian world stockpiling sacks of potatoes and repairing artillery. I wasn't walking lines, I was patrolling. I wasn't inspecting valves, I was checking our fortifications. And my team wasn't just a ragtag crew of industrial construction/maintenance workers, they were my comrades.
It got me through the day, and according to my Fitbit, I burned 2600 more calories than I consumed.
I survived yesterday, and I will survive again today.
[Rant/Rave] What am I doing wrong????
/u/anageecantu
Created: Sat Oct 14 12:42:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76dx6e/what_am_i_doing_wrong/
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[removed]
[Other] He's a keeper
/u/skinnifat [5'4" | CW: 114 | UGW: 105 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 14 12:42:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76dx3z/hes_a_keeper/
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https://i.imgur.com/hYAlVr5.jpg
[Help] Somebody please tell me i am doing the right thing.
/u/sp_600 [5'7🌻107🌻16.8🌻20f]
Created: Sat Oct 14 11:36:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76ditp/somebody_please_tell_me_i_am_doing_the_right_thing/
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Well, i quit my job today. I started only a week ago.
I had told myself that was what i needed to move on. Just a change of scenery, and a little extra therapy.
It turns out I am worse for wear than I ever expected. I had an intake meeting with the Renfrew center and they recommended residential. I was shocked.
I cant go to the program because of insurance and stuff, so I am doing their intense day program. My eating disorder has officially become a full time job.
I am so scared. I am almost in the double digits weight wise and my world is shifting. I dont know if this is the right move but I have to change.
Im so scared.
[Rant/Rave] "I'm so proud of you."
/u/letmebelittle [5'7" | CW: 125 lbs | BMI: 19.6 | WL: 84 lbs | Female]
Created: Sat Oct 14 11:18:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76dexr/im_so_proud_of_you/
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I lied. I've been lying. I tell my best friend/ex what I've eaten at the end of the day every day to make her think I'm getting better. But I'm lying. I haven't even eaten in three days, and yet I'm telling her that I'm eating full meals.
The worst part is she's proud. She's so proud of me for eating. And I'm not. I'm a liar. I feel so terrible for lying to her but I don't want to make her concerned or upset... I don't know why I'm like this... ugh.
[Rant/Rave] Not Invited to Lunch
/u/kvikerdragen [5'6.5" | 22F | CW 121.6 | GW 118 | HW 182]
Created: Sat Oct 14 11:15:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76de6a/not_invited_to_lunch/
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Just another rant, but I'm super frustrated so.
My brother's wife's father and brother are in town today, so her father is taking them to lunch. Which like, good for them. See your family whatever. But... I wasn't invited like at all. Wasn't even given the opportunity to politely decline.
It's like I don't even fucking live here.
Like yes I'm relieved that I don't have to stress about going out to lunch but at the same time I feel like that's so rude.
And on top of that they're touring our little house and my brother mentioned the backyard and cutting the grass with a "we." *I* cut the grass. *I* put the effort in to everything in this god damn house. Not *we*.
Ugh.
[Rant/Rave] It's not really about the food (for me)
/u/oreofright [5'1| CW:110 | GW:100 | 24F 🍑]
Created: Sat Oct 14 11:07:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76dcc2/its_not_really_about_the_food_for_me/
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I spent much of yesterday picking myself apart to the point of insanity--obsessing over my obsessiveness, doing some mostly unhelpful navel gazing, self-criticizing. You know the drill. Some of you may remember that I sought out counselling at my university about three weeks ago to deal with the new eating issues. I've had two appointments.
Mainly, I've been the one bringing up food issues. Therapist isn't all that concerned with it. (ED brain says, "that's cause you're obviously not skinny enough to warrant concern. Starve more." Stupid brain.) Initially, we tried to work out a timeline leading back to the zero-point where everything went wrong for me with my migraines and anxiety. (Eclipse week. Can I just blame all my problems on the celestials?) But I forgot to mention a whole layer of anxiety... a big layer: family drama! Oops.
So last night, my weird academic soul decided to draw up a "Hierarchy of Anxiety," because that made me laugh. And, surprisingly, food wasn't really on the list? Maybe a little under level 2 out of 6, "Life stress: will I have enough energy? what do I eat? is the food spoiled (no, you're imagining things)."
Level 6 is "Family issues: If this were a diagram, we could choose a percolator so that the bitter dregs reach every molecule. No, this is not a new way of finding my identity in a cup of coffee."
So I went back and revised the timeline to account for current developments in family drama, and I realized that my childhood trauma now feels present again (because of reasons). So I guess I developed an eating disorder at 24 to cope.
Ah, Now it hits me. Everything else is the problem. The eating disorder is just the symptom. The part where I don't eat is just a side-show, where, as an adult, I find a way to perfectly hone my skills of self-punishment and twisted reward.
I don't think this means I will be able to stop starving myself today or next week, but I'm glad for a moment of clarity.
[Rant/Rave] Does anyone else's brain make up the most ridiculous reasons not to eat things?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 14 11:04:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76dbo4/does_anyone_elses_brain_make_up_the_most/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] We're writing a book update!
/u/thinkthinlythrowaway [5'1.5 on a good day | CW 129.0 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 14 10:55:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76d9or/were_writing_a_book_update/
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Okay so only a handful have messaged me their story, some have asked for a format type deal and so I've come up with a general idea of what I'm looking for.
I would love if you could identify your age. If not that's fine you don't have to.
It would be awesome to have a type of disorder. I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to break the book down and someone suggested doing it in sections by disorder like: bulimia, ednos, ana, so on and so forth. So if that sounds like something you'd be into let me know.
For the actual story. I want what you see as defining moments of your ed. Or what your ed is to you. It doesn't have a post limit (although I'd like it to not be its own book and more than a sentence please :) )
I do want to hear from those who have recovered, are in recovery, have relapsed, have just started down this rabbit hole, and never think recovery will be in their future but are living with it.
Honestly, I want this book to be able to help those who are scared of the future. If I could give this to my just starting ed self and read and see I'm not alone and there are people and I am valid then maybe it would lead me to seek help before I felt overwhelmed by my ed.
So anyways that's basically it. I don't have a due date for it yet so no rush. And if you have any questions feel free to message me, or even email me.
Again the email to submit your story is lettersofmyed@gmail.com
Oh also if you submit a story I'll reply to you about a cover idea I want your input on.
Thanks!
OH ALSO I FORGOT TO SAY you can submit anonymously, just let me know if you want your name or not.
[Rant/Rave] Exceeded a goal, but feeling meh.
/u/Guilty_Treasures [5'3" | 105 | 19.5 | GW1:99 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 14 10:21:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76d25t/exceeded_a_goal_but_feeling_meh/
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I'm going to a get-together today and I had set this date as a goal for weight loss. My LW from my last bout of restriction this spring (which was also my lowest weight in, like, six years) was 105.8. When I started restricting again a month ago, my goal was to be under 105.8 by this time. Well, this morning the scale briefly said 103.8 (and then I had like two sips of coffee and then it was 104). Maybe I'm just tired or something, but for some reason I [feel like ... whatever.](https://i.imgur.com/vIf0lAD.gif) I guess it was more of a pass / fail thing in my mind, and I merely passed the test rather than accomplishing some sort of feat. I'm also reflecting on what exactly I've gained with my month of restriction. Here's what I've come up with:
* A time-consuming hobby (a source of distraction)
* Feeling hungry and shitty some of the time, especially near the end
* A slightly thinner body
Actually, I think the bulk of my ambivalence is coming from the knowledge that I can't continue the way I might like to - that this is probably about as much as I can get away with, for the sake of my family. There is really, really no room for me to contribute any worry or stress into the overall dynamic, and lots of times, going back to restricting is already my own response to cope with the all the worry and stress which is already present. Besides, even though any hypothetical concern for me by my family comes from a fundamental place of love, it's not like the expression of that concern would loving or supportive -- more like demanding and panicky and invasive and hard-assed and screechy and irrational and more stressful than ever. So there's really nothing to be gained by it, for anyone involved. I know that's all horribly vague, but I hope it still makes at least a tiny bit of sense. Basically, I choose to remain at a weight higher than I would like rather than continue losing and starting to cause alarm. The situation is already so fucked, it really can't bear any more problems or drama or whatever.
So yeah, I guess having reached the goal I set for today is a bigger end point than I realized. There's loss involved as well. I'll probably go back to eating something more like maintenance, maybe regaining a couple pounds. I don't think this is goodbye exactly, because one of the best things about restricting this past month has been hanging out here and finally having a place to talk about my experiences. Maybe I'll just hang around like the lame older person who still goes to high school parties and tries to pretend they're cool. I do have sort of an idea of what to do next, though. I'd like to take all the feelings of goal-setting and accomplishment, self-discipline, distraction, and all the other benefits I get from restricting, and see if I can redirect it into pursuing fitness. Honestly, restricting is way easier. Way lazier. I think that's why it's my default coping method -- working out consistently requires, you know, *doing something,* lol. And also honestly, if I can successfully get into fitness, it'll probably give me a more bangin' body than my half-assed restricting could - hopefully with the added benefit of not being a source of worry for my loved ones.
TL;DR idek
Final thought: this sub needs more flair options for self-posts, like 'ramble' or 'shitty diary entry.' Have a great day, everyone.
[Rant/Rave] Big sweaters
/u/posyposer [5’4 | 21.5 | CW: 125 | GW: 115]
Created: Sat Oct 14 10:18:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76d1my/big_sweaters/
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Ugh! I love wearing big sweaters for a lot of reasons but today I was standing in front of the window and my bff took a picture of me on my phone and sent it to herself and I came back and saw it and holy shit I looked like a cow. I mean, even without the sweater on I’m still wide and I clearly still have weight to lose but holy shit I looked so enormous. I’m feeling insane right now, how could I have thought I was even getting at all to an acceptable size. Clearly I have a lot more work to do. This inspired me to change my goal weight to 110 though, so it’s probably good that it has me making goals lol. Could I hate myself even more?!!!!! Doubt it.
[Help] Friends making comments
/u/whatsupbuttercup5 [5' 3" | CW 108.4 | GW 95 | HW 124 | LW 98 | 25F]
Created: Sat Oct 14 09:59:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76cx6s/friends_making_comments/
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So in summer semester I was pretty vocal to my friends about wanting to lose weight. I ended up binging a lot and gaining about 5-10. Now in fall I'm determined to lose and have been restricting <700 per day.
But sometimes they make comments. Like one of them was opening up a horrendously loud wrapper in class and I commented on it and she was like "Well humans need to eat." It's just little comments like that. They asked me when I eat and I said I have dinner at home (I do, a small one, but I didn't say calories) and they were like omg my stomach's crying for yours.
I don't know if I'm just "wannarexic" or not, but I still think these comments are uncalled for. One friend expressed concern I might have an ED and I was just like "no, I really just want to fit in my clothes again since I've gained from school stress." I've been restricting low and I've only purged twice, but it still feels like a choice to me and that's why I think it's probably not a true ED.
Anyway, have you guys ever had this issue? Did the comments stop as you lost weight?
How much do I have to lose before you think they'll stop making jokes? Also relevant: we are all mid 20s and in graduate school for a medical degree.
[Discussion] October 14th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 14 09:55:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76cw7f/october_14th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What expression do you overuse?
[Rant/Rave] Currently eating my first Quest bar...
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 90ishlbs | BMI 16.46ish | GW: 82lbs | 20F]
Created: Sat Oct 14 08:45:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76chpo/currently_eating_my_first_quest_bar/
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I am in love guys.
I usually eat a Luna Bar for lunch everyday and god damn, I have been missing out.
I decided I wanted to try Quest Bars because people seem to really like them. I was nervous about the caloric content of them because I know they have a lot of protein. I was so happily surprised when I saw that the chocolate peanut butter flavor has 20g of protein and is only 170 calories!
It's honestly a great flavor and it's so dense that I can tell it's going to be really filling. Jesus I am in love.
[Rant/Rave] they're called smores because you want s'more
/u/proudnalgeneowner [5'5 | CW105 | GW95 | 17.68 | 17F]
Created: Sat Oct 14 08:24:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76cdpk/theyre_called_smores_because_you_want_smore/
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I always loved smores but I haven't had them in so long because of the gelatin in marshmallows (I'm vegetarian), but yesterday I was hanging out with friends and they got vegetarian marshmallows because most of us are vegetarian & can't eat the regular ones. I ate so many... I logged it as 1200. Kms. theoretically I shouldn't have gained for the day anyway so I'm trying to reassure myself with that.
after I said to my friend, "wow I feel disgusting, I ate way too many of those" and she just said "hey, at least you're gaining weight." (she knows about my ED)
That kind of set me off. I told her I had eaten less than 300 calories that day before coming so I don't think I'll be gaining anything.
[Rant/Rave] thank you (but fuck you)
/u/Jemjon [5'7" | CW: 110 | BMI: 17.2 | GW: 108? | F]
Created: Sat Oct 14 07:31:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76c3y6/thank_you_but_fuck_you/
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im going to be embarassed of this rant later im sure but fuck...
Ok so boyfriend was hanging out with his close friend last night (have not met her yet) and they talked about me wahoo.
this morning he says (with pure intentions i know..) "friend said she was jealous of you last night! she wishes she had hair as pretty as yours and she was jealous of your weight!"
of course I get excited a bit, she must be jealous that im thin! i ask what she said and he goes
"I said you were in the one hundred-teens area and she said she wanted to weigh that but she just can't seem to gain weight"
turns out she is 90 pounds.
well thanks for that FUCKING compliment WHAT THE FUCK
now I really am not looking forward to meeting her :(
[Rant/Rave] shitty friends and i dont give a FR*CK
/u/swagcat9000 [5'5" | 131 lbs | 21.8 | -37 | M |]
Created: Sat Oct 14 07:27:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76c3c7/shitty_friends_and_i_dont_give_a_frck/
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Okay this is gonna be long and dumb.
A couple of my friends yesterday asked how much I had eaten so I told them, then one of them (who I don't consider a friend) starts talking about how they used to have an ED.
She said to me: "I used to have a legitimate eating disorder, so you should get help."
Okay, like I don't have an eating disorder already? They don't know jack shit about me and they don't like me either so why are you even talking to me?
So why do I feel so fake now? I recently admitted it: yes I have an eating disorder, so now I can try to get better. But after she said that, I feel so fake.
Not only that, but one of my best friends is DEFENDING her saying this to me.
But now that I know they really don't care about me, I can return to restricting in peace without feeling bad.
[Other] Restaurants and questions ?
/u/Lady_Anarchy [169cm | CW: 54kg | 18.91 | GW: 50kg | F]
Created: Sat Oct 14 07:05:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76bzox/restaurants_and_questions/
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So, I have no idea where else to ask but basically, my mother was visiting me, and we went to a restaurant since she wanted to eat. She ordered food, and I only ordered a coffee, only to have the waiter announce "this is a restaurant and therefore you have to order food as well". That statement really set off a lot of anxiety in me, and generally, I did not take this well, even though I said nothing.
Is this the norm? Like, is that true, or was this just the waiter being a cunt? I was really shocked and don't know how to feel. I never go to restaurants but now I just feel even worse about it?
[Discussion] Emergency protocol for potential binges?
/u/sororityasian [5'4" | -5lbs | GW: 110lbs]
Created: Sat Oct 14 06:26:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76btr1/emergency_protocol_for_potential_binges/
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Sometimes if I set myself into reality and realize that I'm hungry, I go into some kinda panic mode where I need to eat. I will EAT everything in sight.
I wear a bracelet now that I snap every time I'm going to potentially binge. I also have a Pinterest board of all the girls I want to look like and I usually go after a glass of water instead to calm me down.
Do you guys do anything similar?
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! October 14, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Oct 14 06:11:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76brhq/stupid_questions_saturday_october_14_2017/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for October 14, 2017.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 14, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Oct 14 06:09:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76brbj/daily_food_diary_october_14_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 14, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Tip] A tip for methylphenidate/ritalin/adderall/concerta users
/u/cartoonsandscience [6'1 | C:138.5 | -33 | GW:135 | 20M]
Created: Sat Oct 14 05:30:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76blmb/a_tip_for_methylphenidateritalinadderallconcerta/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE hate it when some of their food spills?
/u/Catsorbras
Created: Sat Oct 14 04:42:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76bf6s/dae_hate_it_when_some_of_their_food_spills/
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I know I didn’t spill that much of my protein shake, but I just get so annoyed about all those wasted calories. And I can’t even deduct them from my food journal because I don’t know how much the spilled shake is.
Also, cleaning up kitchen counter is 0/10, would not recommend.
[Rant/Rave] I just left inpatient after 85 days
/u/hawaiianhaole01 [5'6 | 120.2 | 19.1 | GW 115 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 14 03:22:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76b5dj/i_just_left_inpatient_after_85_days/
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Technically it was duel diagnosis ED treatment along with mental health, but it still focused heavily on ED treatment.
I'm nervous and scared and afraid to be on my own after 85 days of being in a locked unit. I'm not going back home, rather I'm going to the complete opposite side of the country because my entire life dissolved while I was in there. I only have therapy set up and no PHP or residential or anything. I left the hospital yesterday afternoon, packed up my bags, and have been sitting in the airport til my 5am flight.
No one back home (where I'm going) really knows about my ED and while I'm at a healthy weight now, I can feel that I'm just gonna restrict until I'm back to where I was. Idk, I'm not even really in control with my mental health and want to do stupid things almost as much as before. I'm scared and Idk what to do.
[Rant/Rave] They had to put a convenience store opposite my house
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 14 03:17:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76b4rf/they_had_to_put_a_convenience_store_opposite_my/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Girlfriend's just told me I can skip breakfast today so I can pretend I don't have an ED
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5'4" | 125 | 21.4 | GW: 115 | NB]
Created: Sat Oct 14 02:27:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76az3d/girlfriends_just_told_me_i_can_skip_breakfast/
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Could someone tag this as rant/rave please I'm on mobile? I love her so much, I'm glad that she's not making me eat breakfast so we can cover my ED at the wedding but I know once we get the the wedding breakfast she'll be watching me like a hawk.
[Discussion] This disease fascinates me...why do things just get worse?
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Sat Oct 14 02:07:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76awp5/this_disease_fascinates_mewhy_do_things_just_get/
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Every week I bust ass to justify eating more and cooking like I wish I could everyday but every passing week I’m less and less excited about the food. It sucks I cant even look forward to this anymore.
[Discussion] Favorite bands/songs?
/u/Toothflossie [5'9" | 96lbs | 14.2 bmi]
Created: Sat Oct 14 01:14:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76aqg2/favorite_bandssongs/
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I just need a distraction until I fall asleep. I’ve been b/p’ing since I got home from work, and now I’m drunk and still taking shots so here’s hoping I knock out soon!
But until then - what’s everyone’s favorite band? Favorite songs? I’m always on the search for new music.
I personally love lyrical based based music. My favorite bands are Keane and Mother Mother.
Link me some songs! (:
[Other] holy shit i can’t believe i just discovered this sub
/u/ScrunchiesandDraino [5'8" | 262.8 | 40 | GW:160 | 20F]
Created: Fri Oct 13 23:38:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76adkz/holy_shit_i_cant_believe_i_just_discovered_this/
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i’ve had an ed for YEARS and i’ve told my mom about it a bit but she doesn’t know the extent of my binges/purges/restricting all that fun stuff, and i only have one friend who’s gone through an ed too.
but a whole entire community!! that is so kind to each other and GETS when you see a cake and you know the only options are eating the entire thing or throwing it away and never touching chocolate again
idk i’ve been lurking for days now and you all seem so nice and I love reading all of your experiences with ED and yeah sorry for the lil rant i’m just happy i found this place ☺️
[Discussion] Has anyone else ever been secretly glad that something huge was cancelled/postponed?
/u/lovelyannie [5’2” | 167 | 30.6 | -20lbs | Female]
Created: Fri Oct 13 22:46:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76a5z2/has_anyone_else_ever_been_secretly_glad_that/
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My mom and I had a huge Caribbean trip planned for February, and because of the hurricane damage she’s talking about postponing it to March 2019.
Holy shit, guys.
I’ve been trying to lose 70lbs (which would put me below 100lbs) for a very long time, so now I can actually work towards that.
Just. Thank god.
[Rant/Rave] I’m babysitting a dog and the owner left me a credit card to buy food with
/u/ohwhoaa [5'11"| CW 119.6lbs | GW 115lbs | BMI16.90 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 13 22:30:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76a3qm/im_babysitting_a_dog_and_the_owner_left_me_a/
---
I HATE when people know I eat. I do not like leaving any trace that I have eaten, let alone how much via dollar amount, and of course Im dog sitting for a guy that doesn’t even have salt/pepper in house let alone actual food. Ugh now I don’t know if I should just use my own money so he won’t know or just suck it up and use his card and then fear he’ll mention how little/much I ate. Maybe it’s a good reason to fast this weekend? I’m so annoyed.
[Rant/Rave] Fasting/bingeing consequences
/u/SwissMissintheClouds [5'8" | 149 | 23% | GW 128 | 22F]
Created: Fri Oct 13 21:01:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/769os3/fastingbingeing_consequences/
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Fasted all day until after work. Felt good.
Came home and binged HARD on ice cream, popcorn, cool whip, and salad (???).
And now, three hours later, I just got a digestive surprise. Thanks stomach! /s
Glad I am home alone so no one else has to witness this shitstorm. Also very fortunate that this didn't kick in 30 mins ago when I was in public.
Ugh, today started out so well.
[Other] When you're drinking your laxative tea and it comes with an "inspirational" message. It's like they know. They fucking know.
/u/dbt-girl
Created: Fri Oct 13 20:59:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/769odd/when_youre_drinking_your_laxative_tea_and_it/
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https://i.redd.it/9sj3v100oprz.jpg
[Tip] 83 cal oatmeal creme pie 😍
/u/posyposer [5’4 | 21.5 | CW: 125 | GW: 115]
Created: Fri Oct 13 20:47:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/769m5s/83_cal_oatmeal_creme_pie/
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I’ve been craving an oatmeal creme pie binge for awhile now but I won’t let myself buy snack packs- I’ve been on a good non-binge streak and those tend to make me struggle with self-control. Anyway, I’m on a trip with my best friend and we’re at the cabin and we made microwave s’mores and I had mine without chocolate and it tasted JUST like an oatmeal creme pie!! Literally just microwaved one marshmallow (23 cal) on top of one graham cracker (one half of the sheet) for 6 seconds and then topped with the other half (60 calories... or does anyone have a good lower-cal sub?) and you’ve got a treat that totally satisfied my craving!
[Rant/Rave] Fasting/purging consequences
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 13 20:46:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/769m42/fastingpurging_consequences/
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[deleted]
[Help] Real stressed, feeling real binge-y
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 13 20:24:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/769id4/real_stressed_feeling_real_bingey/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] I just want a freeeeeeend
/u/tacehtelle [5"7 | 123.5 | ?? :( | idk lbs :( | Female]
Created: Fri Oct 13 19:44:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/769bcj/i_just_want_a_freeeeeeend/
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Im so lonely :( I feel like I have no one I can talk to. I just want a friend I can rant to and play minecraft (lol) with and enjoy the company of. Soo if any lonely stressed out minecraft players are on this reddit hmu lol.
me_irl
/u/CassTheUltimateBA [5'10 | 135.9 | 19.5 | 85 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 13 19:42:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/769b38/me_irl/
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https://i.redd.it/6570u70aaprz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Finally cracked...
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 155 | GW:118 | -11 | F24]
Created: Fri Oct 13 19:20:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/769746/finally_cracked/
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I've been so well guys. I'm taking care of my grandma out of state post surgery and she doesn't have a scale so I don't know what I weigh, but I'd been sticking to my 800 kcal limit a day AND it was keto....til tonight.
She keeps pestering me about eating. Why won't you eat, won't you eat this, how about a bite of that, please finish this so it doesn't go to waste, you get it.
She's 90 and on serious pain meds. It's not like I'm upset with her, and I had been resisting til tonight. I've cracked 2000kcal and now life sucks. Yup. Pretty much it.
[Rant/Rave] [Rant/rave] Corsets are awesome
/u/apricaught [5'3| CW 119 | GW 111 |F]
Created: Fri Oct 13 19:16:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7696d5/rantrave_corsets_are_awesome/
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I'm at like a costume thing and I'm wearing a corset tightened by a cute guy for the first time and I feel so skinny?? And it hurts to eat (also to breathe) so I dont??? And full of wine. Life is good. I'm glad I have the skirt to cover my legs though. But it really does feel like I'm serving my time for having stomach fat by having it used against me.
[Rant/Rave] fuuuuuuuuuuuck
/u/trashboating_ [5'1" | 82.8 | 16.34 | 🍑: aureiia]
Created: Fri Oct 13 19:09:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76953m/fuuuuuuuuuuuck/
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fuck.
i have a doctor's appointment in November. i'm 83lbs right now and while i would like to think ill start maintaining tomorrow i know im not going to so i'll probably lose like 4 more pounds at least by the time i have to go. last time i went was either january or february of this year and i was 120lbs lmao. i'm so fucked.
it's not like, a proper appointment. my insurance changed and to get a refill on my meds i have to go. do you think they'll weigh me? im genuinely considering just stopping them so i don't have to go. im terrified of hospitals and people knowing i've relapsed. i'm still a minor too so that makes it 10x worse.
So yeah life is going great for me
[Other] DAE have sudden moments of complete clarity with their ED? A ramble about some perspective.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW: 142.4 | UGW 105 | 24/F]
Created: Fri Oct 13 18:49:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7691f6/dae_have_sudden_moments_of_complete_clarity_with/
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It's not all compeltely ED related, but it's a bit on topic. I can't post this anywhere else because users from other subs always rip me apart when they see my post history. And you guys are so kind, so I'm here. I'm also a little hazy on oxy and my period is next week, so I'm emotional.
I was so excited to fast for a week. I'm so close to the 130s and I'll flip when I see that number. I could hit it Sunday easily. It's been all I could think about this month.
Then my grandmother asked if I'd take her out Sunday. She wants to go to Cheesecake Factory for lunch, hang out at the mall, and then have a steak dinner. Mind you, she's 75 and has been at the 'oh my god, she's going to die this week' point dozens of times in the past few years. She's living in assisted living apartments, can't drive anymore, on dialysis 3x a week, yet still does most things on her own.
When she lived with us, she drove me crazy. She wasn't my grandmother; she was just an old person completely dependent on us to do everything. I felt trapped. I was a caregiver and not a grand-daughter. Since she moved to her own place, she's become herself again. Talking with her used to be a chore. Today I sat with her for almost 2 hours talking about everything. She was her sharp, witty, laughing self again. She has memory problems with dates/times/conversations, but she was all there today. She has friends at her new place, everyone loves her, and she socializes. Of course she misses her complete independence, but this place is more like a college dorm style rather than hospice care.
Anyhow, she mentioned going out to eat. Since she's on dialysis, she's really limited what she can eat. The foods they recommend are all fake. Everything pre-packaged and corn syrup and trash. It's not a 'get better' type of diet but just one to keep them alive. She had been on diets non-stop since her 20s. A typical serial dieter who tried everything and yo-yo-ed her whole life. They actually said all the diet foods for decades were a main factor in her kidney failure.
She's been heavy her whole life going between 150 and 180. She's under 4'10", so it doesn't hold well. She's now 105 pounds and a size 2. She's a bit happy and told me so. She's dying and happy that she's finally her UGW.
When she told me she wants to go out to eat twice on Sunday, I felt a bit anxious. I was thinking of ways to get out of eating and saying I had a dentist appt and my teeth were still numb or something.
But it's not worth it. It might be the last time I go out with my grandmother. Her health waxes and wanes very rapidly. I've been hit harder lately with her upcoming death because I'm closer than ever with her now.
And I could think about was how a fucking steak would mess up my fast. I've lost so many years to my ED. Family, friends, holidays, all lost. Avoiding anything that might have food or when I felt self-conscious. And it was never worth it.
My ED controls a lot. But it is not me. I am not my ED. Sometimes I have to shove down those horrid feelings it brings up and get real with myself. I'm going to eat with her and I'm going to enjoy it. I'm going to create a wonderful memory rather than only remembering what I weighed that day.
I can't win every battle. I may not even win the war. But I'll take any victory I can get. A victory that can add some happiness in my life and a great amount of joy in the life of someone else.
---
I'm sorry for the ramble. I'm very emotional and having a hard time and have no one to talk to.
[Rant/Rave] Got lied to by an ED clinic
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 13 18:39:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/768zky/got_lied_to_by_an_ed_clinic/
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[deleted]
[Help] How do you stay regular while restricting/IF?
/u/gayishfish [5'7" | CW: embarrassing | BMI: high | -9 lbs | 23F]
Created: Fri Oct 13 18:29:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/768xlu/how_do_you_stay_regular_while_restrictingif/
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As soon as i restrict or fast, my BMs seem to just stop. How do you keep things...you know...moving? I just got through almost an entire week with no BMs and I caved and got a magnesium citrate drink (lax). I do NOT want to rely on laxatives more often than occasionally.
I'm wondering how good fiber supplements work for people? I've seen they make gummies and i thought of getting some. I actually want to start getting prunes too since they have a natural laxative effect LOL
[Discussion] How did you all meet your best friends?
/u/skinnifat [5'4" | CW: 114 | UGW: 105 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 13 18:25:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/768wzq/how_did_you_all_meet_your_best_friends/
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I need girl friends but I'll listen to anyone's stories!
I've always been in male dominated environments (studied mechanical engineering in college and never lived in a dorm or anything. Was part of a race car club where I was the ONLY girl). I just started my career and I'm even the only girl in my department.
And there is nothing wrong with guys BUT sometimes I just wanna have a slumber party and gossip and we could paint our nails and watch movies :(
I haven't really had that since high school and that was 4 years ago.
[Rant/Rave] More wedding dress drama
/u/Pettyinblack [5'2|CW125|HW170|F27]
Created: Fri Oct 13 17:50:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/768pwr/more_wedding_dress_drama/
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[removed]
[Help] Question for high-calorie restricting folk!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 13 17:13:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/768ip6/question_for_highcalorie_restricting_folk/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Is anyone else really afraid of spoiled food?
/u/incognitointodrama
Created: Fri Oct 13 17:02:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/768gh8/is_anyone_else_really_afraid_of_spoiled_food/
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Like, yesterday i made pizza dough and i still have half of it left and i also got broccoli and leech that i have some left of and I WANT TO USE IT UP SO BADLY! Maybe it's just a binge fueled craving (have been bingeing for weeks now, fuck my life) but it's 1am here and i really, really want to make a pizza right now. Advice?
Aaah. Throwing it away seems like such a shame bc then I'll make new one tomorrow anyway, why waste more money on food when you already spent some on it? Shit shit shit shit
Edit: also can we please establish something like 'food drunk' bc I'm making lots of unwise decisions right now
[Intro] Slipping
/u/fluentsyntax
Created: Fri Oct 13 16:57:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/768fe7/slipping/
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Hey everyone. I’m a little new here, but I’ve found that this sub brings me comfort. I just want to vent.
I lost my job back in May and since then, I’ve been feeling incredibly shitty about myself. I had four interviews last week and was rejected from all of them. This week has been strange. I can barely get out of bed and I haven’t had a single bite of food since last Saturday. Alcohol though. Not too much, because it doesn’t take much anymore.
I had been chatting with this guy who seems to understand me pretty completely and we have a lot of things in common. I feel a real connection. We met on Tuesday and became slightly intimate. I haven’t kissed anyone like that in a long time and it felt so nice. His smell and touch. Agh. I get attached easily and I think I may have scared him off with a couple drunken texts. It takes him a while to reply because he’s pretty busy, but when he does it’s usually reassuring,.....but I’m going crazy over thinking everything. I’ve been in bed all day just listening to albums. That’s basically my life currently. I feel so pathetic and like a waste of space. My brain will not allow me to eat anything.
I’ve always had issues with food and my body image, but this is the longest I’ve gone without it. I have no idea when I’m going to feel like eating again, but as soon as I do, I know I’ll feel like trash.
[Discussion] Weak despite caloric intake
/u/Keiwii [5'2 | GW:110 | UGW:90 | -38lbs]
Created: Fri Oct 13 16:48:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/768dlz/weak_despite_caloric_intake/
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I honestly don’t know if the cause of this is physical or mental , but I’m weak when I restrict , I’m weak when I maintain , I’m weak when I eat at a surplus , and I’m weak when I fast . I just always find my self slugging around everywhere . Everyone else on campus always has a fast pace , bouncing around , determined . But me ? I always look like I hate myself and dying on the inside , I sometimes just want to roll to some places . That’s why I feel like , if I’m going to be weak anyway , why not look good while doing it . If I’m tinier they’ll be less attention on me . No one would notice the short tiny girl . I sometimes get random bursts of energy If I either had a successful purge , I look kind of nice in my outfit , or if I’m in the gym alone . I’m always sleepy , I’m sleepy if I get too little sleep , oversleep , or get just the right amount . It seems like the more I lose weight the more I get down . “Yeah I lost x amount this week but I’m still not there” it’s like the more I lose the more I notice a girl even tinier , the further away I am. I don’t know why I think all of my problems will be solved when I’m at my ugw.I planned on wearing shorts today that fit me snug at the beginning of the summer , they fell completely down as I put them on today . The belt I wore to help them stay on me didn’t help either , because there were no holes left on the notches. I tried to poke a hole in the belt but it didn’t work. Most would be happy about that , but you know what I did instead ? Cried , because I’m not where I want to be, and I let my self get that big in the first place. That’s no accomplishment. Anyways, I’m starting to ramble now , but about the weakness part , Can anyone else relate ? Any things you guys do to make you feel a bit better about yourself that’s positive and doesn’t involve hurting yourself, (doesn’t haven’t to be ed related)? This can be tiny things . For example , I know nothing about makeup , but I started practicing doing my eyebrows and for the week I kept up with that I felt a little better .
[Rant/Rave] I can't believe I forgot fasting feels AMAZING
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 193 lb | GW: 120 lb | 22F]
Created: Fri Oct 13 16:40:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/768bzs/i_cant_believe_i_forgot_fasting_feels_amazing/
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It's been a rough couple of months in terms of restriction. But I've finally broken out of this binge cycle- All I've had today was black coffee and sugar free jell o. (Total 10 kcal)
I even packed lunch/dinner today (~500 cal) and I didn't touch it. It was rough up until about 3 hours ago but fuck dude, now I am flying high. I'm gonna break fast for booze later, but I shouldn't need much after restricting.
Bonus I pooped twice today so I feel extra empty and light.
[Discussion] anyone else try to copy someone else's eating?
/u/happysquats24 [5'4 | CW 153 | GW 120| 19F]
Created: Fri Oct 13 16:23:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7688c4/anyone_else_try_to_copy_someone_elses_eating/
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this is something I've been doing since I was a little girl. My first memory of this is eating at the mcdonalds in the mall with my mom, her friend and her daughter who was 2 years younger. She got chicken nuggets, I normally got burgers but that time I got nuggets and ate exactly how much she ate (2 and a half of them).
If I'm eating with someone who's smaller than me (aka most girls) I'll literally copy how much they eat even if I'm still hungry. If they order a salad, pasta, sandwich or whatever so will I and I'll try to eat exactly how much they eat or less.
It just sucks because I tend to binge and once I start eating I have such a hard time stopping. So when I go out to eat with a skinny person, my self control is seriously being tested. I just avoid going out to eat now.
Another thing I do is ask my skinny friends what they ate that day, not in an intrusive way at all but more like "moving out has been so hard, I never know what to eat! What did you have today". and I take mental notes.
I'm a weirdo.
[Help] Meanspo request and a little rant.
/u/herp_a_derp_attack
Created: Fri Oct 13 16:22:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76882z/meanspo_request_and_a_little_rant/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] My weight finally changed
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 112.8 | GW: 105 | M/15]
Created: Fri Oct 13 16:03:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/768468/my_weight_finally_changed/
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[removed]
Starting my REAL journey today.
/u/emfrcon
Created: Fri Oct 13 15:42:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/767ze9/starting_my_real_journey_today/
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[removed]
[Help] Bloating causing me to spiral
/u/salviaplath_13 [5'1 | CW: 110 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 13 15:18:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/767u91/bloating_causing_me_to_spiral/
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I started bloating AF last friday, and figured it was just a flare-up of PMDD (pre menstural dysphoric disorder) and would resolve itself after my period started. Then on saturday my bloat seemed to be going down,
But after every time i ate anything (quest bar, salad) my stomach would become so distended like I was pregnant.
So I started my period this week and now i'm flat out bloated 24/7, except it continues to get worse immediately after eating anything. 2 hours after I eat when digestion starts I start to feel discomfort and nausea in my stomach, especially after eating oatmeal (RIP safe food). My BMs are normal, so I have no clue what's going on. It's sending me into a tailspin. My hypochondriac ass is going crazy. It is just my period, gut problems from stress, IBS, gluten intolerance?? I'm not asking for medical advice but just need to know if anyone has experience with this.
I was in recovery for bulimia and had a few relapses recently, and now i'm freaking out that I've ruined my digestive tract forever. That I'll be bloated forever. I'm catastrophizing, my anxiety is out of control. Falling into a pit of depression and despair thanks to BDD. I can't live like this, I stopped exercising and doing yoga, I can barely get to class and do my assignments, I'm avoiding parties and social obligations because I can't fit into my clothes. Cumulatively, all of that is making me even more depressed. If I have anything permanent caused by bulimia I'll never forgive myself.
[Other] Tried to donate blood today
/u/shrinktoavoid [F 5'7|121.6]
Created: Fri Oct 13 14:53:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/767oi6/tried_to_donate_blood_today/
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I wasn't able to donate because my hemoglobin was too low. It was weird because on one hand I was really disappointed because donating blood is really important to me, but on the other hand I was almost kind of happy because I felt like my ED was kind of validated. I can't really explain it but I feel like others here might get it. It's not that I want to be unhealthy, but any sort of deficiency just proves to myself that I've been good at restricting.
[Rant/Rave] DAE get angry when they save their calories to eat for the sake of others and then the others bail?
/u/protaato [5' 0" | 112| 21.9 | -6 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 13 14:06:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/767dyq/dae_get_angry_when_they_save_their_calories_to/
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One of my friends has been wanting to grab lunch for a while and I kept saying no for both ED reasons and because it's been a rocky friendship for half this year. They kept asking almost everyday, so today I didn't pack my usually small and healthy lunch and skipped breakfast in hopes of setting aside enough calories to eat out. Today they didnt ask me and went out with another friend. I'm more angry than I'd like to admit.
Is this overreacting and am I being a drama queen? Can anyone else relate? I feel like this is a sign that I'm too fat to go out to eat and than I'm stupid for even thinking I could justify going out for lunch.
EDIT: to add to the irrationality, its not like we had anything planned. It's just that i stupidly expwcted to be asked and so i did some planning on my end. I hate myself for this.
[Rant/Rave] "I lost my appetite"
/u/oksneaky [CW:IDK on purpose | GW:114 | 5'3.5F]
Created: Fri Oct 13 13:42:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7678fn/i_lost_my_appetite/
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So just now I was at a work thing and got really anxious and uncomfortable out of no where (it was legitimate but a long story, I should have known better and known it was going to happen) and almost had a full blown panic attack. I took a xanax and calmed down, then my appetite was completely gone. I was confused but totally ok with it, obvs. BUT... I took half a bronkaid before I went and had a shit ton of caffeine and didn't remember, I had just taken it in passing thinking it might be a good idea before I was surrounded by an unlimited buffet of awesome food. I TOTALLY forgot how good that shit works since I've been trying to eat at maintenance plus for the past entire month and stopped taking it like in August. HOLY HELL, the magic! I'll be back on it for two weeks starting on Monday and now I know I have the power to do this cut after how I feel right now! Need to go ahead and stock up for the two week cut I have coming up, very excited now and feel like I'm in control! Everyone should know to cycle off of it any how because you build a tolerance but take a break and try it again, it's like the first time all over again!
[Rant/Rave] I finally got a job so that means I won't be at home all day eating myself to death anymore.
/u/almightylurker [5'1.75" | 128.6 | 24.6 | -86.4 | 20F]
Created: Fri Oct 13 13:39:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7677jk/i_finally_got_a_job_so_that_means_i_wont_be_at/
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This post is going to a bit of a mess so bear with me. My boyfriend and I got our first apartment together just a little under a month ago now and ever since that day, I have not been able to stop eating. We used to live at his parent's house and I was always afraid of leaving our room to get food so I was able to stay within my calorie limits pretty easily. Ever since moving here however, I have been eating to maintenance pretty much every single day, give or take a few days of clarity in between. So I've lost only like 2 pounds in a month which is absolutely unacceptable.
But today I went in for an interview at Subway (not my first choice bc I can't stand the thought of working fast food as people are always assholes to ff workers but Subway is the lesser of the evils so I am not complaining) and I start Monday! While I was there filling out what type of hat and apron I wanted the question of shirt size came up and the manger noticed my hesitation and was like "Definitely a small." and I couldn't hold back my smile as I checked the box next to the S.
My plan now is that I'm going to try for a morning shift so I can fast the entire time I'm working then eat when I get home. Once I start getting decent hours I'm going to sign up at this really nice 24 hour gym 5 minutes up the road from us and work that into my schedule at least 3 times a week. I've been depressed just sitting at home this entire time, my thoughts only focused on food, but I finally have something to look forward to now and I am super excited. Wish me luck!
[Rant/Rave] Falling back in to my old habits, and just want to talk about it. [x-post from /r/BingeEatingDisorder]
/u/cpt_fuzzyboots [5'6" | CW:125 | GW:117 | bmi 20.2 ]
Created: Fri Oct 13 13:20:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76739k/falling_back_in_to_my_old_habits_and_just_want_to/
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Hey Guys,
I originally posted this in /r/BingeEatingDisorder but the sub isn't overly active, so I thought I'd also post here. Hope that's okay.
To give some backstory, I was formally diagnosed with BED and BDD exactly a year ago. My diagnosis could have fallen somewhere between bulimia and BED, as I use long-term restriction to make up for my binges, which are often caused by the long-term restriction (a cycle I'm sure that many of you know).
I've gained just over 10lbs in the past year (going from a BMI of 18 > 20) by primarily going to the gym, lifting weights, and making an effort to eat more rounded meals throughout the day. Yesterday morning, I stood on the scale and really beat myself up over it. But then I took a photo, and put it next to a photo of me from the day of my disgnosis, and I realized that my body hadn't really changed, and where it had, I was looking much stronger rather than chubbier. I immediately felt so great, I began to cry.
Then I made the worst mistake possible. I posted the photo to /r/fitness, a community that I've been visiting daily for the past year to try and shift my health goals from being thin to being strong, and realizing that gaining muscle would be a good idea.
I wrote a very long post, mentioning my struggles leading up to my disgnosis, outlining all the work I had done for the past year, and how proud I felt of myself for being on the right track. And they lost their minds, in a bad way.
The most upvoted comment, with several sub comments, talking about how nothing had changed. To a point where mods had to step in. Many back-handed compliments saying how healthy I looked in my before. A few creepy pms. A few people laughing at me for having BED. A few people tearing apart like, one sentence that was worded poorly out of a 5-6 paragraph post. Things like that. I had to edit my post twice with disclaimers explaining that my post wasn't about significant "gains".
I tried to brush it off, and see it as a compliment that I could gain so much weight and not show it, but the fact that about 200 voted for the comment, and a good dozen or so replied things like "this" to it, kind of got to me. That, added along with everything else, just broke me. Some guy even pm'd me a bunch of weird fucking diet advice.
I feel broken. I feel like an idiot. Why did I even do that? I seriously didn't expect it to get that much attention, and definitely not that much negative feedback.
I've been upset about my weight for a few days, to be honest. With travel for work, my birthday, and Thanksgiving all crammed in to a period of about a month, I was feeling really down. Something I didn't tell them: I quit going to the gym a week ago because the exercise was causing me to retain water and I was tired of seeing such high numbers on the scale. I've been restricting my calories to under 1000 the past 5 days. It's 3PM now, and all I've had today is a protein bar and 4 halls (I eat them because they make me not want to eat anything else). Part of why I made that post was I thought hearing it from others how much healthier I looked now would help me feel better, like it wasn't just in my head, you know? Maybe deep down, I knew I was only seeing what I wanted or something, I don't know.
I know I'm setting myself up for relapse, but I can't break out of it. I just keep thinking, "how did I let myself gain all this weight?" And after that post, now I keep thinking, "who was I kidding?! I can't do this. I'm an idiot, and deep down everyone is thinking it, they just won't say it." I've been trying so damn hard at it for the past year, going to the gym regularly, following a routine, trying to eat a balanced diet.....and apparently I looked better before.
I deactivated my Instagram as well. I started a fitness Instagram in the summer, just posting quick little things about my workouts or whatever, mostly just to keep myself motivated and accountable. Now I just feel like a failure to the world, and want to hide.
I just want to go back to my BED lifestyle. I was good at it, and apparently all my work was for pretty much nothing, so what's the point?
Anyway, I just wanted to get all of that off my chest. I'm not really in a good spot for advice right now. I just wanted to talk to others who know what it's like. Thanks for reading.
[Thinspo] Who is your thinspo?
/u/CherryTaint [5'3" 🐷 / GW: 100lbs / 22F]
Created: Fri Oct 13 13:13:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7671fd/who_is_your_thinspo/
---
I hope this is allowed. I'm just curious as to who people have as theirs.
Personally, mine is [Natalia Taylor](https://www.instagram.com/p/BLHprHTABG3/?hl=en&taken-by=natalia__taylor) :)
Looking through thinspo pictures is extremely helpful to me and I really need them for tomorrow as I plan on fasting :)
[Tip] PSA: SOUP
/u/GailaMonster
Created: Fri Oct 13 13:13:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7671cf/psa_soup/
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It's warm.
It's filling.
It's cheap.
It's customizable - can be made vegetarian, vegan, keto, etc.
It's mostly water.
It can have a good amount of protein.
It can have a good amount of fiber.
It's usually low-cal for the volume/time it takes to eat.
It's got electrolytes, which plants crave.
It's getting cold - soup is Winter's salad!
Even if you don't make it yourself, there are some very OK stats on lots of canned soups. Right now i'm enjoying progresso light, but even soups not labeled as "light" are often quite decent.
[Intro] I don't have an ED but I can relate
/u/Chewy2000
Created: Fri Oct 13 12:37:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/766sv6/i_dont_have_an_ed_but_i_can_relate/
---
Hi all!
I have been reading through some of the posts and I realized why I am drawn to this sub even though I do not have an ED. I figured I would share my story. I do know two women who currently have EDs although one says she is just on a diet...im pretty sure she may be anorexic based on her eating habits and being underweight.
My whole childhood I was a twig...adults worried that I was too skinny. My Nickname in my family was skinny. By the time I was a teen I filled out to a size 2-4 At about 5'4.
My mom suffered with bipolar really bad when I was a teen and essentially abandoned me in my home city for six month when I was 17. I had no money and no skills... up until I turned 17 I was a spoiled brat.
I had to work two minimum wage jobs, drop out of school, and walk everywhere. I lived in a rooming house that housed a lot of young nuns and a strange mix of poor women most of whom did not have family. The place was infested with mice and rats and I did not have a full kitchen.
Due to my extreme poverty and not knowing how to cook without a full kitchen and being afraid of the mice and rats I pretty much stopped eating. I would eat maybe one full meal a day (A breakfast sandwich from Dunkin donuts or if I was just paid a bowl of ffettucine alredo) and eat 25 cent snacks and bagels when I was hungry.
I also drank full calorie Gatorade because I figured it would help sustain me. I never went anywhere without it for years after this period of my life lol.
I lost a lot of weight unintentionally. My size 0 juniors jeans were too big in the waist. I noticed I kept on needing to adjust my belt to tighter holes over the months.
I was also drinking and smoking weed a lot during this period. I remember the night before I hit rock bottom and fainted in a Dunkin donuts I had to adjust my belt one hole tighter than it had ever been and it scared me.
I went to a friend's house and we all drank and had a great time. Another girl and I crashed there on the sofa and in the morning we smoked weed and all walked to Dunkin donuts together. While we were standing in line I began to feel faint, slowly, the room turned white, and when I woke up I was on a stoop to a nearby apartment building where one of my friends carried me.
He brought me a bagel with cream cheese and water and told me i needed to eat and drink water before we could go anywhere. I obliged even though I felt so weak. Because I fainted, i called out sick from one of my jobs that day and the owner of the shoe store fired me over the phone.
I reemember crying alone in the cold rain. I couldn't afford to live like this anymore. I had no money and felt like my whole world fell apart. I was underweight and fainting I couldn't move out of the place I lived in. I was an unaccompanied minor....kind of like being an illegal immigrant..it is life in the shadows.
I called my mom who was in a new state at the time and I begged her to come and get me. I forgave her for abandoning me..i had no choice.
She drove me to her new house 1100 miles away. I was in the car with my eyes shut having a panic attack for the first few hours. When I moved back in with my mom at 17 it was hard but my life improved greatly when I began eating normally again.
I became obsessed withh nutrition, protein intake, etc. It has been 11 years since this all happened to me and now I'm somewhere in the middle. I think my eating habits are healthy but my anxiety is triggered when I feel unnourished...im pretty sure I could never be anorexic due to my trauma coinciding with an extreme lack of food. I'm 28 now.. a size 6 and 150 pounds (my legs are steel lol). I love to workout, run, spin, strength train, etc.
I'm not sure why I'm sharing this but maybe it will help someone. I just hope everyone takes care of themself because we only get one life and one body.
[Thinspo] Boyfriend took some pictures on our hike today, I’m almost at my GW and I feel like I can finally tell!
/u/thunderbirdandspice [5'10" | 136 | 19.5 | -10 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 13 12:37:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/766su5/boyfriend_took_some_pictures_on_our_hike_today_im/
---
https://i.redd.it/my4qw8oa6nrz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Trying so hard not to binge right now
/u/dbk1982 [5'2" 35F |SW 215 | CW 208 | LW 140| UGW 115 ]
Created: Fri Oct 13 12:08:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/766lz5/trying_so_hard_not_to_binge_right_now/
---
I always eat so much the day after drinking. I really should just stop drinking but when your husband is in love with craft beer it’s hard not to go along. I broke my fast an hour early this morning because I needed something solid in my stomach. I’m going to try with all my might not to binge. Downside is have to go grocery shopping and there is a serious possibility that I might buy some non safe foods. The usual hangover culprits are pasta, pizza, nachos, soup with crackers, and wings. Oh god the wings. Spicy or sweet. Doesn’t matter. I’m glad I have my husband to help keep me accountable.
[Discussion] Does anxiety make anyone else super bloated?
/u/KissMySlitWrist [Moo]
Created: Fri Oct 13 11:59:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/766jpj/does_anxiety_make_anyone_else_super_bloated/
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On top of feeling like I'm going to vomit and I just drank acid, anxiety makes me look extra fat. FML. Anyone else?
[Help] How do you make yourself feel less moody when restricting?
/u/Moonlightswim [Height 5’4 SW 152lbs CW 147.7 GW1 138lbs GW2 124 UGW ???]
Created: Fri Oct 13 11:12:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76681a/how_do_you_make_yourself_feel_less_moody_when/
---
For me I take walks, go outside, listen to music. Unfortunately Im still lashing out at my family and feeling a bit bitter. I want to be kinder to my family and especially my son. But I don’t want to binge and gain anymore weight.
[Rant/Rave] Teaching with an eating disorder
/u/Jen_Nozra [5'4"| SW: 62kg| CW:53.9kg | 20.3 | GW:49kg | F]
Created: Fri Oct 13 10:54:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7663n1/teaching_with_an_eating_disorder/
---
Today I felt like a fraud.
I had to do an hour's lesson on body image, eating disorders and thinspo in the media. This may have been one of the hardest hours of my life. Answering questions about anorexia, bulimia and how the media has caused an increase in these illnesses.
I hope I did a good job, and I wish that I had been honest about my struggles but I just can't talk about it openly.
I will need to teach this in the future, any advice on things you would have liked to hear at school regarding body image etc?
Peace and love from your eating disordered teacher.
On mobile - not sure of the appropriate flare.
How many pounds to have loose skin?
/u/thirstypupper1
Created: Fri Oct 13 10:00:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/765qfw/how_many_pounds_to_have_loose_skin/
---
[removed]
[Intro] Hi I'm new
/u/sadnddisordered [5'10.5 | 126 | 17.59 | -7 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 13 09:46:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/765n44/hi_im_new/
---
Hiii. I'm MJ, i've had disordered eating problems since i was about 12. I have a bunch of other disorders including BPD and depression and anxiety and PTSD and all that good stuff
Lowest adult weight i've gotten to was 118 about a year and a half ago. This time I'm trying to get to 120 and stop
recently dropped out of college and stress triggered a relapse i guess. it hasnt been this bad in a while, i thought i was fully recovered! guess not. yay!
anyway i started restricting about a week and a half ago (~~700 calories a day limit) and i've lost 5 pounds. scared for the plateau after the initial weight loss stops though, i know its coming
i also have a tumblr for thinspo (and nostalgia. tumblr pro ana community shaped the beginning of my eating disorder tbh) if anyone else does ill follow you
i guess thats it. also this is a throwaway so i can post whatever i want without worrying
[Discussion] does anyone want me to do a regularly updated thread about my 24 day water fast?
/u/luaquiet [5'4" | 132 | 22.7 | f]
Created: Fri Oct 13 09:35:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/765klu/does_anyone_want_me_to_do_a_regularly_updated/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Fall food drives are the best.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 13 09:23:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/765hp1/fall_food_drives_are_the_best/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] going to a date tomorrow and I'm bloated as fuck
/u/carlems [5'2| CW: 101,8 | GW: 97 | -19]
Created: Fri Oct 13 09:13:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/765f6e/going_to_a_date_tomorrow_and_im_bloated_as_fuck/
---
Had a huuuge binge today. Kept saying to myself that I'll allow myself to binge tomorrow after the date or anything else but not today but of cooourse my brain didn't listen. Now I sit here bloated as hell and looking disgusting. It's my first date in two years and I'm really into this guy but I feel like I already blew it by making myself this bloated. I bet he's going to be as disgusted as I am...fuck I feel sad and disappointed
[Discussion] How often do you guys weigh yourselves?
/u/whatsupbuttercup5 [5' 3" | CW 109.8 | GW 95 | HW 124 | LW 98 | 25F]
Created: Fri Oct 13 09:00:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/765c7y/how_often_do_you_guys_weigh_yourselves/
---
I tend to do it at least once a day. I really want to be able to do it weekly instead so I can see a bigger change on the scale but it's SO HARD.
[Discussion] Vaping?
/u/Amoosedcow
Created: Fri Oct 13 08:58:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/765bla/vaping/
---
Hi guys!
Lately I've come to notice that my cigarette habit is kinda getting out of hand. Does anyone here vape? What's it like? Pros/cons? I've been told it feels very dry in comparison to smoking so it throws me off the idea a little.
[Discussion] One month into my journey
/u/starvingarthoe
Created: Fri Oct 13 08:47:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76595v/one_month_into_my_journey/
---
[removed]
[Goal] Finally hit my first goal a day early & started the line diet!
/u/tattoosandcoffeee [5'3.75 | GW 108 | -15]
Created: Fri Oct 13 08:40:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7657k3/finally_hit_my_first_goal_a_day_early_started_the/
---
I have fasted for 84 hours and dropped over a pound everyday since Tuesday & frankly it kept me motivated to keep going until I hit my goal...officially made it to my first goal weight! Now Im starting the line diet, downloaded the app and its green so I get to eat today! Yay!! FYI..Im an avid faster and always have been (my entire 10 year relationship my fiance still asks every night, "Are you eating today?" :P) ..for those unfamiliar with it, its a fasting regime where you choose your weightloss goal and time frame and it will generate how much weight to lose each day. Mine is .3lbs a day, which equals 2lbs a week to put me at my goal by my 30th birthday in a couple months. You open the app and input your weight each morning. If you hit -.3, its green and you can eat that day. If you dont hit the goal, its red and you fast. I think its an interesting perspective to weight loss and kind of exciting to challenge yourself and see what you weigh in at and if you can eat or not. The app on apple store is "Line Diet" :)
[Goal] Well I will probably fail but Happy Scale says I could reach my GW by April.
/u/religiousdogmom [5'5.75 | CW165 | GW110 | BMI 26.6 | 25F]
Created: Fri Oct 13 08:30:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/765596/well_i_will_probably_fail_but_happy_scale_says_i/
---
I have been trying to lose weight for an entire year. I've lost 5 pounds. I just go through periods of binging. When I got my IUD a few months ago, my weight literally jumped 12 pounds over night. And according to Happy Scale, if I lose 2 pounds a week, I'll hit my GW by April. But I just don't think I can do it. I am shit at this. I just want to be underweight and not overweight goddamn it.
[Discussion] Do any of you guys meditate?
/u/Banana-Ghost
Created: Fri Oct 13 08:15:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7651xg/do_any_of_you_guys_meditate/
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So I enrolled on this college class called Meditation and Philosophy and it's about the history of meditation as well as the philosophical aspect of it. I found it interesting for it's theory but we meditate for about 20 minutes in each class and I finally realized how much it helps me feel less anxious and clear my mind. With that said it usually helps with hunger cravings as well.
Have you tried it? It's hard at first and not gonna go great everyday but with practice comes perfect. I wanted to hear what you guys have to say about it.
[Discussion] Does anybody else have issues with the most fundamental parts of functioning?
/u/haroshinka [Height 5'3|CW 99.8|BMI 17.7|Weight Lost 13|Gender F]
Created: Fri Oct 13 08:11:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/76510h/does_anybody_else_have_issues_with_the_most/
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I went to the shop today (5 minutes away) and I genuinely had to stop and sit down. I just have no energy, I felt like my legs were going to give in or snap in half. Sometimes when I'm sitting at my desk working or revising I have to lie down because I don't even have the energy to sit up.
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend broke up with me
/u/noname372017
Created: Fri Oct 13 07:38:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/764tww/my_boyfriend_broke_up_with_me/
---
I had to have an abortion two weeks ago (please don't judge, it wasn't elective), I've lost 20 pounds since then and when I'm already deep in a depression I can't get out of, the guy I am so in love with just dumps me three days after telling me how happy he is we are together and when I just start to believe we would be OK after my procedure. I can't eat or take care of myself when I try I just cant do it. I haven't had any thing except coffee in five days. I'm falling apart. Just need to talk and I don't know where to turn
[Discussion] October 13th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 13 07:20:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/764q1t/october_13th_2017_question_of_the_day/
---
What do you have no patience for?
[Rant/Rave] Threw out all of my unsafe foods
/u/Soybeansandsprouts [🍌5'5|105|17.68|Maintaining?🍉]
Created: Fri Oct 13 06:41:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/764i8r/threw_out_all_of_my_unsafe_foods/
---
I have a very bad habit of stockpiling food like a chubby little squirrel prepping for the next 5 winters and the coming apocalypse. Like seriously, why did I need 3 boxes of pasta when I've only eaten 2 in the past year and a half? Sooo much ramen and sooo much trail mix. Packaged foods that I never eat, bags of nuts I wouldn't dream of touching.
Well, now all of it is gone and part of me feels like the biggest pile of trash for being incredibly wasteful, but Part of my is so relieved. I just couldn't take the anxiety and the binging anymore. I offered it too all of my roommates, gave as much as I could to my friends but there was too much food. My pantry is clean. There is no food left for me to freak out over. Nothing left for me to binge on. Ad yet I know this means I'll inevitably start reducing my list of safe foods because one day I'm going to eat too many raisins and declare them demon spawn. The only potential fear food I left was the dried fruit because throwing them out made me feel too guilty. What did the mangos and the figs do to deserve this?
So yea, I guess we will see how this goes. Maybe it will stop me from binging every single time I decide to eat dinner. Maybe it won't. Now I'm off to fast for the next few days to make up for being such a greedy, wasteful person :/
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! October 13, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Oct 13 06:12:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/764d7d/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for October 13, 2017.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 13, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Oct 13 06:12:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/764d6m/daily_food_diary_october_13_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 13, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] Does anyone else feel drunk after purging??
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 13 04:30:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/763xag/does_anyone_else_feel_drunk_after_purging/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Losing weight is a trigger for me to eat more.
/u/modtherich [5'3" | 🐳 | 24F | -15.6]
Created: Fri Oct 13 04:12:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/763uhx/losing_weight_is_a_trigger_for_me_to_eat_more/
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Like I can finally reward myself or some stupid shit. Does anyone else have this issue and if so, or even if you don't have it, how do/would you beat it? :(
Can't tag bc mobile but I guess this is a rant.
[Discussion] Curiosity
/u/scoutthlostgil
Created: Fri Oct 13 03:54:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/763roe/curiosity/
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Who els is doing this half out of curiosity? I should be at my UGW by late November and I'm so curious to see what my body will look like. I'm almost definitely going to keep going after just to see how skinny I can get. Half of it is this need to be skinny and the other is an insatiable curiosity to see what that looks like.
Am I the only one? I wanna know if I lose enough will my tits disappear? When will other people notice and start commenting? My jeans are already baggy but when will they stop fitting totally?
My goal is less a certain weight and more small tits, ribs and a thigh gap. I'll stop when I can see those results.
[Other] Link for To The Bone?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 13 03:30:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/763oj6/link_for_to_the_bone/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Found out my scale is accurate and I'm conflicted.
/u/thescarletlettergirl [5'3 | CW 108 | UGW 90 | 18 F | ]
Created: Fri Oct 13 01:39:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7639qx/found_out_my_scale_is_accurate_and_im_conflicted/
---
I weighed myself this morning before my doctor's appointment, and since losing weight I've felt that my scale is off because I feel just as fat despite being 16 pounds lighter, so I kept blaming it on my scale being inaccurate. Long story short, I weighed the exact same on the doctor's scale. I'm happy that I've lost the weight, but I wish I could see it. Guess I really have lost 16 pounds and body dysmorphia is a fucking bitch.
[Rant/Rave] Okay but like why does food = fuel
/u/ssfbgm
Created: Fri Oct 13 01:17:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7636l3/okay_but_like_why_does_food_fuel/
---
I work third shift and unfortunately didn’t sleep yesterday. The best part of a fast is sleeping through like half of it. I’m at work and just can’t do that. I gotta eat something so I don’t nod off.
Even more unfortunately, there is only junk food in my midst.
On the bright side, I probably burned a good 5000 calories trying to quietly open and close a bag of chips.
[Rant/Rave] Rough day :c
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Fri Oct 13 00:57:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7633qg/rough_day_c/
---
I ate a gross, luke-warm bowling alley cheeseburger and regretted it before I was finished. I spent too much time with my mother, and my mother is kind of an emotional leech, if you get what I mean. And on top of that, I'm really at a loss at how to best support my pet hedgehog. Because of certain memories, it is actually kind of triggering for me to think about him and stuff related to him. I LOVE him, though. It's just hard when I want to help, but I feel like I've failed before I even try.
I just want to stop feeling sometimes, you know?
[Intro] First Ever Relapse?
/u/fatbabyduck [5'2" | 121.5 | 22.22 | -12.5 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 13 00:43:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7631xh/first_ever_relapse/
---
3 years ago, I left months of recovery as a "new woman" (teenager). I had spent months in various degrees of care (IP, PHP, DP, IOP) and was finally out. My weight had gone from 92 lb to 134 lb (yikes), and I was apathetic enough to leave my body as it was.
Now, I ~think~ I'm relapsing. School had become so stressful; I have ridiculous hours of homework each day, had to quit my after school activities, and found my social life in shambles. I feel myself spiraling. One thing has become clear to me: I need to regain control.
I don't know if I'm actually relapsing. I'm eating 1000 calories a day, have one cheat day a week, and don't have the same brutal mentality that I used to. Compared to 300 a day, this is nothing, but this has also come at the same time as me being prescribed adderall so losing weight has been surprisingly steady.
I'm trying to figure out what I'm doing, and where this will end up. I don't know if 'ana' will suck me back in, but until then, I'm still going to tentatively call this a relapse. This is really fucked up of me to say, but I'm glad to be part of a community again.
[Help] Leaving for a weekend trip to San Francisco... (oh no)
/u/coffeebean27
Created: Thu Oct 12 23:56:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/762v1a/leaving_for_a_weekend_trip_to_san_francisco_oh_no/
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I’m leaving tomorrow early (I’m going to San Francisco and Santa Clara) and will be with my senior classmates for 3 days... which means I have to eat with them. I am trying to promise that I won’t purge (but probably will). Are there any pre made food that are filling and low calories? I might just eat pre made salads but I’ll stick out bc everyone is going to eat out. Maybe any “healthy” fast food/restaurants?
I’m going to try to fit in a workout in case I’m forced to eat but I want to avoid all the calories. Any tips for eating “normal” in front of other people? Agh im kinda stressing over the food bc I’m scared I’ll over eat and then have to purge.
[Help] Living very remotely where access to food is limited
/u/mindover_madness
Created: Thu Oct 12 23:46:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/762th1/living_very_remotely_where_access_to_food_is/
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I'm currently living on a tiny little island way up north with just a couple of hundred people. There's only one grocery store here that gets food flown in once per week so access to fresh produce (especially fruits) is very limited and very pricy. Most of my staples from the mainland are either nonexistent or too expensive. Like a sleeve of rice cakes is legit $5, for example.
Anyone have any ideas on how to eat low cal but still also cheap?
In one way it's nice because I'm so limited budget-wise that I'm restricting is pretty easy but when I do eat it's all packaged and processed and that is giving me a really unmanageable amount of anxiety. I went to get a box of stash lemon ginger tea today as self care and it was $7 :((((
[Rant/Rave] I hate how my weight is distributed
/u/SvelteDreams [5'5" | CW 121.4lbs | GW 103lbs | 21F]
Created: Thu Oct 12 23:45:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/762tet/i_hate_how_my_weight_is_distributed/
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I was looking back at some pictures from when I was hardcore restricting and actually underweight and.... fuck. My legs are fat as fuck even there. My arms are so tiny and thin and you can see ribs but my thighs just look normal. No, not even normal. Fat.
I hate that I carry the majority of weight in my thighs. I feel like the only way I will ever have decent looking legs is if I'm at a BMI of >16 and if I ever were to get there then the top half of me would literally just be bones tightly coated with skin. I don't even think that this is BD I think I legit have TERRIBLE fat distribution and it keeps me up at night its so bad and then I feel so vain for caring so much...
Does anyone else feel similarly?
[Help] Psych hold for ED
/u/ViscousCerebrum
Created: Thu Oct 12 23:31:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/762r81/psych_hold_for_ed/
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Can doctors/county put a long term psych hold on a patient who's under 17.5 bmi and refuses to seek treatment?
From what I've been told and read in documents, a psych hold can only be used for patients who are an immediate harm to themselves and others.
Once I turned 18 this August and got medically cleared, my doctor put a hold on me because she believed I needed to be at a healthy bmi to be let out of the hospital. This hold was lifted after 3 days when the county investigated and concluded that I was not suicidal or homicidal. I got to go home.
I'm terrified that if it happens a second time, I'll be placed under a long term hold because it'll be my second hold. I'm currently living in my own apartment but I'm concerned that if I have to go back to the hospital for non ED related issues that they'll try to hold me again due to my weight and monitored eating habits.
Sorry that all this is written poorly. Please let me know if anything needs to be further explained.
[Goal] Whooshing as I type this.
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Thu Oct 12 23:17:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/762p03/whooshing_as_i_type_this/
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I'm so excited you guys. My plateau has been doing my head in but it's finally happening!
Yesterday I was 81kg
This morning I was 80.5kg
Earlier today I was 79.8kg
AND NOW I'M 78.4kg - 0.4kg AWAY FROM MY FIRST GOAL.
I haven't even had a BM yet. I'm so relieved.
Thank you to this community for listening to my whine about my weight. Without you guys I don't know where my head would be at.
[Rant/Rave] [rant] self sabotage AGAIN
/u/ozh_esta [5'3.5" | CW 116 | GW 102 | 20.70 | -34lbs | NB]
Created: Thu Oct 12 22:59:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/762m0j/rant_self_sabotage_again/
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i've been relapsing something majorly fucking fierce (my flair is outdated). i'm back down to 111 after about 10 months of recovery, which is a pound off from my lowest weight and what have I done? celebrated by going to a bar. am trying to just stick at one whiskey diet coke but i KNOW how alcohol affects me and i KNOW i'm going to end up swollen and bloated and fat in the morning. ugh. guess i'm spending tomorrow at the gym.
[Intro] Keylogger is the Best tool used by hackers
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 12 22:50:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/762klt/keylogger_is_the_best_tool_used_by_hackers/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Today was my MIL‘s birthday
/u/plshealme [5'5 | 🐳 | 🐳 | -17 | 19F]
Created: Thu Oct 12 22:37:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/762ikk/today_was_my_mils_birthday/
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Today was my MIL’s birthday and I had like 400 cals during the day since she said she didn’t wanna go out for dinner. 5 pm rolls around and she‘s like “You know what, let’s all go out to xy restaurant”. Cue me panicking inside, plus I was planning on going out to play Tennis and this was cutting my time short.
Anyway, we go out to dinner, I go very VERY light on the appetizers they order just to not seem suspicious by not eating at all, and then ... eat all of my fucking entree like a pig. After that, my family in law tries to get me to eat dessert, even going so far as to push it against my closed mouth lmao... (It was a churro.) Husband assumed I was feeling bad and just wanted to play Tennis (kinda true and true), dropped me off at the sports club.
I play by myself for 35 minutes until suddenly ... I get a terrible stomach ache. I’d already not felt good during dinner but this was like 100 times worse - you know, the kind of stomach ache that gives you the chills and you know you are about to have to run to the bathroom.
So I collect all the balls and my stuff, sprint to the bathroom, do my tmi thing ... and then promptly decide to purge. I get about 1/3 or so out and feel pathetic, eyes all bloodshot (cause I am really not used to purging urgh... I hate it hate it hate it). After that I downed a whole liter of water in like 5 minutes lol.
Anyway bla bla I’m just my usual pathetic self, and I’m probably gonna wake up tomorrow having gained and mope around and hate myself all day until I can play Tennis again. Sigh, what a shitty day. Rant over.
[Intro] kvikerdragen's Introduction (Long and Probably Triggering)
/u/kvikerdragen [5'6.5" | 22F | CW 121.6 | GW 118 | HW 182]
Created: Thu Oct 12 22:33:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/762hxd/kvikerdragens_introduction_long_and_probably/
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Hey everyone! I've been lurking for a couple weeks, and just started posting earlier today, so I figured I ought to introduce myself here. (Also the Discord activity-gated me so, you know)
So starting with a little of the general life-stuff:
I'm 21 (Just noticed my personal flair says 22... My birthday in November and I continually forget that I'm quite not there yet).
I'm a Junior at university (A little behind where I should be for my age, but life has a habit of getting in the way) and am studying Actuarial Science.
I live with my younger brother and his wife (More on them later).
And an overview of my history:
My dad was super emotionally abusive (And domestically violent) so as one would expect I developed a host of mental health issues as I grew up. We (Meaning me, my older brother, and my younger brother, although I'm the only one who developed food issues) would frequently be denied dinner as children if we misbehaved or, for one example, trivial things such as our fingernails weren't clean (If you're a 6-year old with a sandbox in your backyard and your fingernails are clean all the time then I'm pretty impressed). So that's the likely beginning of the whole overarching "Food is a privilege" thing that sets the stage for everything else.
My first girlfriend (8th grade) made a comment at some point that I could stand to lose some weight. A general part of my family culture was that we spent a lot of time eating together and playing games at dinner and stuff, so as a result we ate a lot of food--because we enjoyed it, and because we enjoyed the company. Until that moment, I had never paid active attention to my eating, and it basically flipped a switch in my mind to be aware of myself. I didn't count calories, and I wouldn't consider myself to have "actively" restricted at that time, but I dropped from 150pounds to 130pounds over a month or two just because I wasn't eating as much (My height was the same as it is now, 5'6.5"). My dad made a comment that I "was looking anorexic." I cried over it, because I wasn't trying to lose weight (Or at least, I didn't think I was) and I felt horrible that I was disappointing him (Don't worry I was plenty of a disappointment already, despite being obviously his favorite child--nothing I did could have made him happy).
My weight fluctuated from around the same 150pounds to 130pounds for the next three years, just sort of cycling. In 11th grade I had a different girlfriend, and things with her were great for the first few months (Honeymoon phase or whatever). As we became more comfortable around each other though, I learned she had an eating disorder. It's sort of important to note here that I had basically no knowledge of eating disorders at this point, and despite my "passive" restricting behavior for the last three years had never considered using eating (Or rather, not eating) as a coping mechanism. I started counting calories in October, on a marching band trip. Learning the calories in an egg made me almost cry.
Things went downhill from there. My restricting got worse basically overnight. I had been at 150pounds (A fair amount of that was muscle at that point thanks to marching with a tenor sax, although I was still porky enough...) and I dropped to about 120pounds by early November. My girlfriend and I fed off each other's behavior, and our relationship got pretty rocky. Eventually her mom (Who knew what was going on) came to my house and told my dad (Who had figured out what I was doing, but made no effort to stop me). I sat in the enclosure where we kept my rabbit while he talked to my girlfriend's mom on the porch. When they finally finished, he came in and just looked at me, disappointment and anger clearly written on his face. I can't remember what he said, but I felt like complete garbage.
We went to my general practitioner soon after that. They weighed me, measured my height, took some blood, ran whatever tests, the usual. Turns out my restrictive behavior over the past couple years stunted my growth. I was perfectly on track to grow to 5'10", but hadn't grown a bit since 8th grade (And still haven't and won't). Other than that my weight was low and some of the levels in my blood were low (Glucose was very low is all I can really remember) but I wasn't in any danger or anything (I mean that was obvious... I still weighed 120pounds). We went home, and my dad continued to be disappointed in me. I tried to eat better for him over the next couple weeks, and succeeded in forcing food into myself, but mentally was struggling. My dad dragged his feet super hard trying to find me a therapist, our relationship got progressively worse, my sleep got terrible, and everything basically just went to shit.
November 19, 2012, I "ran away" from home. My intentions were to send a wake-up call to my dad, and to be found the next day (I only drove to school and even parked in my assigned spot). Turns out everyone took it super seriously and I was filed as a missing person. Unfortunately for me, at 3am that night my mom found me. My relationship with my mom wasn't very good at that point, and I certainly did not want to live with her. Despite that internal understanding on my part though, she took me to her house. The next day, she took me to file a restraining order against my dad. In my incredibly exhausted, defeated, and hopeless state, I went along with whatever they asked me and allowed myself to be coerced into answering leading questions that tried to make my dad look bad. I knew my relationship with him at this point was over. I would never be able to go back to him. Because neither of my parents are particularly good at parenting, my mom decided it would be perfectly okay to allow me to borrow the car that afternoon and do whatever I wanted. That was the first time I thought very strongly of suicide.
My eating slowly recovered, to an extent, over the rest of that school year. I got progressively more depressed, but I guess I reached that point where you're too depressed to eat or something, because I stayed around 130pounds for the rest of the year. Truthfully I don't remember much of it. I started seeing a therapist for the depression, with a side note of the eating disorder. I earned an Anorexia diagnosis, but not really any treatment for it besides doing a food log for a while until I got sick of it. In May 2013, I was sent to my general practitioner for anti-depressants (I couldn't get in to a psychiatrist or something, I dunno). They asked all the routine questions, and I answered honestly. They asked the question about suicidality or having a plan, and I was unfortunately too naive to know to lie. I wasn't actively suicidal, but I had a flawless plan. I was hospitalized for it. My eating got worse again in the rigidity of inpatient for the week I was there, and the drastic change threw me off for several weeks after returning to the real world. I was also diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder during my stay. My girlfriend and I broke up soon afterwards, after 14months together.
That summer, I was incredibly fortunate and got to attend summer courses at Harvard University (Across the country from where I live). The whole experience was incredible, and I have many fond memories from it. Unfortunately, being alone and friendless for the first time in my life, I turned to restricting to cope with it all. I confided in my RA, but she wasn't very helpful--sweet as she was. Fortunately for me, I overcame my eating struggles several weeks later--except I replaced them with cutting after my ex contacted me, telling me she was seeing an older guy. The cutting got pretty bad pretty fast. I won't go into detail about that.
Things were pretty calm for the most part after I came home. I continued to get progressively more depressed, but calmed down with the destructive behaviors for a while. Senior year started, made things worse, and just generally cause problems (I was valedictorian, and if keeping that while juggling everything else in my life isn't a stressor then I don't know what is). I fell into old habits, and ended up being hospitalized for self-harm on November 14, 2013. My eating struggled again. They released me on the 22nd, because they couldn't hold me any longer (My birthday was the next day, and I would be turning 18, meaning they could no longer hold me in adolescent inpatient). They told me to my face that they didn't know how to help me any more. The good news is I've been clean of self-harm since the day I was hospitalized. The bad news is that I was completely hopeless.
I intentionally overdosed on November 31.
When I was released from the hospital three days later, it was under the condition that I attend DBT therapy. They decided hospitalizing me for a third time wasn't going to do any good, so I may as well try the therapy designed to treat the Disorder that everyone had been avoiding admitting that I had (There is a crazy amount of stigma against Borderline people, and admittedly we are pretty hard to treat). My life turned around with this therapy. I had initially been very skeptical, but I gave it a shot, and things improved a lot in my life. I still had my share of struggles, but I could certainly say I recovered a whole lot.
Fast forward three years, to August 2016, I'm in the process of moving several hours away to attend university with my younger brother. University in my home town wasn't treating me very well, and despite having a solid job I felt I would be doing better emotionally if I got away from my mom. So I moved, and things seemed to be looking up--all except that I was no longer seeing the therapist I had come to trust and depend on.
At this point, I was at my high weight of 182pounds. It mortified me to know I weighed so much, but I attributed it to my mom bringing home takeout super often (And just having no control over food being given to me in general) and being super sedentary in general. One of my main goals when I moved out was to regain control over food and eat more healthy. And honestly, for the first semester, my brother and I did very well. I did (As I still do) all the cooking (Which just means dinner every night) for us, since it was something that I had always loved doing but had stopped doing since I left my dad. I regained that control I longed for, but did it in a largely healthy and productive manner, and lost some weight as a result.
Second semester is where things once again started downhill. My brother was away at an internship for the first 8weeks, so I was completely alone for all of Winter break and the first quarter. I decided to finally take the opportunity to try Keto, to ultimately great "success." I dropped to 140pounds pretty quickly, but managed to develop a moderate fear of carbs that I still carry. At some point, I decided to step it up a notch and try intermittent fasting as well, which brought me down to 130pounds. My brother and his then-fiance came back around the time I hit 130, and my specialized eating got interrupted, so I stopped losing for the remainder of the semester (And probably put a few pounds back on as well). I knew at this point that my eating was becoming disordered again, but it wasn't at an unmanageable point, so I was largely unworried.
This summer came and went quickly, and largely in a blur. I came out of the summer still weighing 130, still jobless, and getting progressively more depressed again. I settled back into the schedule, no longer able to maintain Keto since I had to cook for my brother and his now-wife (Who are basically children) but I cut my intake of food back to only eating dinner on most days.
At the end of the summer, and for the first month or so of the school year, I had been talking to--and even visited--that same ex of mine. Then, eventually, we got in a fight and she abandoned me. I don't know if that shattered my already cracking mind or just opened a door where I felt justified in "misbehaving," but I've proceeded down the restricting road pretty aggressively since then. I found a love of broth, a comfort in standing up and nearly passing out, and as of very recently an excitement in sugar-free things.
I'm down to 121.6 as of this writing, and well on my way to my goal of 118 (Which will officially put me underweight). After that I'm headed for 111, which will put me at an officially anorexic BMI and will finally validate me (Despite already having the diagnosis).
In closing, I apologize for how long this ended up being. I have more that I could share--some on topic and rant-y, and some off topic--but I'll save that for another time. I didn't come into this expecting to bear everything to the internet, but I guess I felt I really needed to share my story. I hope at least some of you relate (Sort of at least... I don't want anyone to have to suffer in the ways that I have, but if you have I hope it helps that you're not alone) and I look forward to getting to know this community better over time. I've missed having a group of people to relate with.
[Thinspo] The most incredible instagram thin/fitspo you will ever see.
/u/daeboo [5ft1.5/🌑89lbs]
Created: Thu Oct 12 22:32:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/762hsa/the_most_incredible_instagram_thinfitspo_you_will/
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https://www.instagram.com/russellsbc/?hl=en
When my family asks why I don't want to go out to eat/want a cake for my birthday.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 12 22:29:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/762h4t/when_my_family_asks_why_i_dont_want_to_go_out_to/
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https://i.redd.it/hyrgrgklyirz.jpg
[Discussion] DAE notice their trichotillomania (hair pulling) gets worse during periods of restriction/fasting?
/u/cartoonsandscience [6'1 | C:138.5 | -33 | GW:135 | 20M]
Created: Thu Oct 12 22:08:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/762did/dae_notice_their_trichotillomania_hair_pulling/
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[Rant/Rave] :( no more social media
/u/badvegetarian23
Created: Thu Oct 12 22:03:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/762cle/no_more_social_media/
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Rant , mobile
I m leaving social media where I can get “triggered” bc I love my teeth and if I continue to purge I’ll lose them.
I’m drunk rn but whatever.
War story:
Since starting uni I’ve been on a restrict binge purge cycle. I binge thursdays and the cycle begins until sunday. I’m good for three days, four if I’m lucky. I think besides my hunger cravings, I get hella triggered by social media, esp when I hear about others eating or whatever. So, like for the sake of my teeth, bye.
Love you all.
"Sorry I had SUCH a big lunch today I can't eat dinner" ://
/u/officialrogersmith
Created: Thu Oct 12 21:26:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/762651/sorry_i_had_such_a_big_lunch_today_i_cant_eat/
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http://stimmystuffs.com/post/166271061277/httpsinstagramcompbaftwmbavmg
[Help] Help.
/u/whimsicalfae776 [Height 5'3 | CW 103 | HW 120 | LW 90| "GW" 108]
Created: Thu Oct 12 21:18:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7624pi/help/
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I have a problem where I compare my body to other people's. I know, big surprise. However, I have rules when it comes to comparison. I don't compare my body to the following due to it being unrealistic:
1. Anyone under 17
2. Any sort of model/celebrity
3. East Asians(not racist, their healthy BMI range is legitimately lower)
4. Anyone who I know has, or at least suspect to have an ED.
5. Anyone who I know has a drug problem.
6. Anyone deathly ill.
7. Trauma/Kidnapping survivors.
8. Men.
9. Fictional Characters.
However, what does trigger the living shit out of me is people- especially if they're my height and age- who do not fit into the above categories but are still super thin(at least in my view). Before my recovery, I was under the impression that I would still be smaller than most people after weight restoring(5'3 and 108lbs is no where near fat). This actually helped me a lot in getting to where I am today. Accepting the unattainability of the weight where I spent years and felt most comfortable in was a big step in allowing myself to maintain something heavier. It was comforting to know that even after recovery I would still be perceived in the way I was used to and even though I would feel less at home in my body, at least to the outside world I would "pass" as thin. It was super comforting to know that, even if I wasn't at the weight I felt my best in, I would still be treated in much the same way as I would if I were that weight.
However, I was very wrong. Realistically, I'm probably larger than about 50% of the people I see on a day to day basis. I was not prepared for this. I am surrounded on a daily basis by people- of my age, ethnicity, and health level(I went out to dinner with several of them and they all ate a lot of food and didn't 'need to use the bathroom' afterwards- if you catch my drift) who are far skinnier than me. At first I thought I was just projecting so I actually took a tally on my way to class in a small notebook. It turns out that there was no bias. I even joked to a small group of people about how 'I'm pretty thin' and their response was "you're not that small, you're average." My entire idea of what constitutes a normal weight has shifted and I can't shake the feeling of being utterly deceived; "unrealistic" my ass. I see loads of very real women who maintain at weights/body types described as "unrealistic". If they're so unattainable, then why do so many 'everyday' women maintain them? Are they unattainable because I physically cannot meet them, or because some bodyposi radical-feminist DBT-indoctrinated nurse looked at an outdated chart and decided that I'm not allowed to?
If I'm not hurting anyone else, then I should be able to do whatever I want with my body. If Tess Holiday can be 400lbs and accepted despite her unhealthy choices because they make her happy, then why the can't I be 94? If 5'3 and 94lbs is "dangerously thin" as my doctor so kindly put it, then how the hell is Eugenia Cooney still breathing and making youtube videos? According to the web, she's 5'9 and 77lbs. (and also way thinner than I'd ever want to be. I know she's popular thinspo for some but honestly she grosses me out.). If a BMI of 17 is enough to hospitalized, then someone with a BMI of 11 should have been dead *years* ago.
Also, what's the point of living a long life if you're just going to be miserable for the whole of it? Recovery honestly just feels like I'm making everyone happy except myself.
I've gone over all of my reasons for recovery and it doesn't seem like the disorder itself is keeping me from doing what I want to do- the people telling me I am disordered are. For example, my primary reason for staying on track is so that I can continue university. Well, physically I can be underweight and still attend university. I hate working out, and studying and socializing are sedentary activities. I went to one year of university and had two years of high school while underweight(at some points, while at a weight lower than I was comfortable with) and had a 4.0. Clearly, I was not hindered academically. However, if my weight drops my parents will be notified and they said that they would pull me out of school. Additionally, I can't talk to my therapist because she has a habit of addressing all of my issues with "DBT Skills" aka "Let's Acknowledge the Existence of Your Problems Without Actually Resolving Them™". Or, even better, "Let's Validate Your Irrational Thinking because That Isn't An Oxymoron at All™". Sorry, my intense, visceral hatred of the condescending, gaslighting cult of DBT is a rant for another day. It's so frustrating and I really wish that I was wrong, because life would be far easier and less painful. Sorry for the long, personal rant. I just didn't know where else to put it and I can't shake the feeling that I'm sacrificing my happiness for my family's peace of mind. I feel like I have to choose between my mental and physical health, because it looks like I can't have both.
[Discussion] Does anyone else fantasize about letting yourself go?
/u/clewie [5'1.5" | CW 105 | GW 95 | 21F]
Created: Thu Oct 12 21:05:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7622cl/does_anyone_else_fantasize_about_letting_yourself/
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I daydream all the time about giving up the effort and just letting myself get huge. Eating whatever I want and drinking all the beer I want. It seems so freeing to me, never counting a calorie or stepping on a scale or having panic attacks over food. This is what I hope to do in the last few decades of my life.
[Tip] currently sitting here trying to resist a binge...
/u/ladywinterz
Created: Thu Oct 12 20:43:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/761ycb/currently_sitting_here_trying_to_resist_a_binge/
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alcohol is my bff and worst enemy.
i am operating on a 15 hour work day. upon the 10th hour, after 2/3 day of strict restricting, i say to myself, "i need wine." i tend to drink a whole bottle, on bad days some times two which almost always illicts a gnarly binge. and worse the horrible mental backlash. why cant i just be cool about eating pizza or drinking something like a normal person? i'm tired, hungry, drunk, and bored of popping my pimples, and all i want is a WHOLE pizza to my damn self, which puts me further down the rabbit hole because nothing good comes from this...gonna smoke a cig and see if this helps 0_o
Does anybody else use restricting to cope with anxiety?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 12 20:08:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/761rwn/does_anybody_else_use_restricting_to_cope_with/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Alcohol just fucks everything up
/u/LittleBlackHeart8 [5'7" | cw:120 | gw:110 | 19.7 | -31lbs | F]
Created: Thu Oct 12 19:40:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/761mn9/alcohol_just_fucks_everything_up/
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[removed]
[Other] Anyone else lay out their weekly cals like this?
/u/trynnasaurus
Created: Thu Oct 12 19:25:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/761jpe/anyone_else_lay_out_their_weekly_cals_like_this/
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https://i.redd.it/1o7lym9a2irz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] those moments that remind you that you have a problem...
/u/band-aide [5'6 | CW: 125 | SW: 140 | F/18]
Created: Thu Oct 12 19:21:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/761iy7/those_moments_that_remind_you_that_you_have_a/
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i really want to open up to my SO about my ED as i've been more open about telling my story with others in general. he and i have been getting very, very emotionally close. i just can't hide it from him anymore and i think he'll try his hardest to understand without being overbearing about it.
cue my brain going "yeah, tell him after you lose like 10-20 lbs or something so you actually look sickly"
it's like any time i think of something i want to do in the future my head goes "yeah? goals? something you want to do? what about your weight loss goals?" it's like my brain is on autopilot with this shit. it's ridiculous. anyone else catch themselves thinking this way?
[Discussion] Is it strange to anyone else that this is the most positive sub I’ve ever been part of? 😂
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 12 18:55:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/761dsi/is_it_strange_to_anyone_else_that_this_is_the/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Seriously testing my self-control
/u/dark_light_ [5'8 |CW 138.2lbs|NBMI 20.79|GW 120| F]
Created: Thu Oct 12 18:46:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/761byl/seriously_testing_my_selfcontrol/
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I'm 46 hours into an 89 hour liquid fast and it's getting a little tough. I had an orchestra concert today and there was free pizza there and other stuff apparently (likely the usual donuts) and I was tempted but I wouldn't let myself go near the concessions stand. Then I came home and there was cake. Five different types (a giant slice of each) and cake is my absolute weakness. I live in a house with six people so there's no way the cake will last until i'm done with my fast, but I really want that cake, so I took a little bit of each and I'm saving it in a to go box that someone saved thankfully, and I'll eat the cake at some point after my fast. On the bright side, if I can get through this, I don't think any food can get in my way. I worked too hard to give up after this. Though I've noticed I've been getting numb a lot easier, my head hurts, I can't get up without feeling a little woozy, and I'm a bit of an emotional wreck, I think it might be worth it to prove to myself that I'm a little stronger than I thought. Any other day I would've completely given up at the sight of pizza (it smelled so good) or cake (which looked amazing). I keep almost convincing myself that it wouldn't matter if I ate something (the pickles are only 5 calories!) but I know I'd feel terrible about myself if I did. Anyway, thanks for listening to my little rant and I hope everyone's doing well <3
[Rant/Rave] Went "grocery" shopping for the first time in months and only bought binge food
/u/lavendersmoke [5'5" | CW 127.4 | GW 105 | -5 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 12 18:45:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/761bqu/went_grocery_shopping_for_the_first_time_in/
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I've been avoiding grocery stores and earlier today I was in Costco. I ended up leaving with a can of whipped cream, egg nog and a fucking tub of profiteroles.
Got home, had some of everything and just instant regret. Thank god for Costco's return policy because I'm headed back tomorrow morning to return everything and leave before I can sabotage myself any further. It sucks even more because I had bought myself some caffeine pills and carbonated water before that to help encourage restriction. Fingers crossed tomorrow is a better day.
[Rant/Rave] Spooky skeletons
/u/aetolica [5'4" | F | 31]
Created: Thu Oct 12 18:34:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7619pt/spooky_skeletons/
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Rant: All these Halloween decorations going up.
I've always had a problem with skeletons in a very bonespo kind of way. Wore a skeleton shirt for years and even had my own skeleton figurine in my bedroom (just told everyone I was into anatomy).
Now here I am, trying to recover, and my coworkers hung a small army of skeletons around the office for Halloween.
I don't want to take them down and feel like a jerk or a snob because I'm new here and I guess it's a tradition to go all out. I mean, one girl has a spider phobia and she's not complaining about the spider decorations (not much anyway lol).
It's just really hard being around all this!!! Between the skeletons and the copious amounts of candy all around, I'm so done with Halloween.
[Help] trying out fasting
/u/WhattheNorris [5'2 | 154/128.0/110 | ❥]
Created: Thu Oct 12 18:04:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7613jm/trying_out_fasting/
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[removed]
[Other] The dentist
/u/unpollutedfantasy [🥒]
Created: Thu Oct 12 17:49:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7610l8/the_dentist/
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I've really been putting off going to the dentist because my purging has gotten a little worse since last time I went about 6 months ago.
The last time I went my teeth were good, however she did mention to me that my throat looked bad and to maybe see a doctor, but I had just purged the night before
It really makes me nervous as to what she will say if she sees that my teeth have gotten worse. But for all I know they might be fine
What have your experiences been like at the dentist?
[Rant/Rave] A success and a cautionary tale
/u/ExtraQueerrestrial
Created: Thu Oct 12 17:48:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7610b0/a_success_and_a_cautionary_tale/
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I've always had the normal, ED G.I. Issues, but never until this week have I been sooooo unable to go.
Last week I decided to try psyllium husk to add more fiber to my diet.
It did not work well and constipated me for days. I looked pregnant for days. I tried everything except laxatives (gallons of water, seeds, digestive aids, massage, coffee, excercise, etc). I couldn't go :(
Yesterday I broke down and bought magnesium citrate. I try not to lax because then I can't feel clean without it.
I took half the bottle, nothing happened.
The next morning, another quarter, nothing.
Finally I finished the bottle in the evening.
It worked!! Praise glob!
Lesson learned: psyllium husk is NOT my friend. Wish I hadn't wasted $15 🙄
[Rant/Rave] I hit a new low today
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 112.8 | GW: 105 | M/15]
Created: Thu Oct 12 17:19:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/760uaw/i_hit_a_new_low_today/
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My grandma bought me some cookies from subway because she was there with my mom so I proceeded to eat one normally then go to the bathroom and try chewing and spitting for the first time. It was pretty gross but not nearly as bad as I was expecting, I might have to start doing this more often. At least I haven't purged like I was initially considering. This changes like everything, I'll be able to eat so much more shit that I wasn't able to normally
[Other] I don't want this anymore
/u/little-paws
Created: Thu Oct 12 16:54:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/760p6k/i_dont_want_this_anymore/
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I'm miserable. I'm tired of not going out and socialising because I'm scared of calories in food and drinks. Instead I obsess about food at home by myself and it's so stupid.
Tomorrow there is a conference weekend in my field, all expenses paid, and I didn't register because I was too afraid of not having control over the food there. How sad is that? I'm missing out on real life because of this, and I'm sick of it.
I'm not even skinny enough for it to be 'worth it', I'm a perfectly healthy weight. Is any weight really worth it? Not to me anymore.
I don't know how to change, I don't know how to stop. I have these realisations every few months, where I try to 'eat normally' - really, I just eat whatever I want, put on a few pounds and then start panicking and restricting like mad again.
I'm so sad, I just want to LIVE.
[Discussion] Ed series - Overshadowed
/u/sighsless [5'6 | CW:128.4 | 20.81 | idk]
Created: Thu Oct 12 16:46:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/760nkd/ed_series_overshadowed/
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I recently found out about a BBC3 (I'm not from the UK but I guess it's on youtube) series Overshadowed, which is filmed like a youtube channel. As far as I can tell it's about a girl who gets a camera and starts a youtube channel, but watching herself causes her eating disorder and exercise to become out of control. I've just watched the first episode and it's interesting. I don't really relate to the character so far but some people might. Thought I'd post about it since I haven't anything about it on here. Has anyone seen it?
[Other] "do you have any dietary restrictions?" -every survey ever
/u/disbeetch [5'3'' | 130 | 23.0 | -38 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 12 16:44:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/760n4n/do_you_have_any_dietary_restrictions_every_survey/
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[removed]
[Help] I don't know if I should trust my Fitbit... how many calories does walking 10-20k+ steps actually burn?
/u/pedaling-backwards [5'2 | between 105-110 idek | 20F]
Created: Thu Oct 12 16:26:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/760jes/i_dont_know_if_i_should_trust_my_fitbit_how_many/
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In the Summertime, I was averaging 10-30k steps a day. That was back when I was eating ~200 cals a day, so my weight was obviously dropping insanely fast.. but now I'm finding that I just can't restrict like I used to. I'm lucky if I'm able to do 1000 a day, but most of the time I'm pushing 1200.
Anyways, me being sedentary + eating at 1200 = barely any weight loss. Throw in my occasional 1-2 binge days a week, and I'm either maintaining or slowly gaining. Therefore, I /need/ to start walking again.
Back in the summer I remember my Fitbit saying on my 20k days my TDEE was 2200.. which, when it is typically 1400, seems *waay* too high.
How many calories do you personally estimate your walking sessions burned? It'd probably make it easier for me to stick to my calorie plan if I had a general idea on what I was burning, that way for example if I eat 1600 one day but have walked 20k steps, I won't just say "Fuck it the day is ruined" and eat everything in sight since I'd still be at a deficit.
[Discussion] This is about to get nasty!!
/u/gayishfish [5'7" | CW: embarrassing | BMI: high | -9 lbs | 23F]
Created: Thu Oct 12 16:24:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/760izr/this_is_about_to_get_nasty/
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I've officially gotten to the point where i can't remember the last time i had a BM. Does this happen to anyone else? Ive never taken lax but I'm considering as i don't want to make myself sick(er).
Also another thought...does anyone keep track of their BMs? How do you even do dat?
Yeah, sorry for the gross out post... Genuinely concerned! 😟
[Goal] What's your goal weight for Halloween?
/u/SvelteDreams [5'5" | CW 121.4lbs | GW 103lbs | 21F]
Created: Thu Oct 12 16:14:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/760gop/whats_your_goal_weight_for_halloween/
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I'm shooting for 115 lbs (probably unreasonable) so I look hot in my costume but I'd be happy anywhere under 120 lbs.
Is your costume at all dependent on your weight? Mine sure is.
[Discussion] What's everyone's daily calorie intake?
/u/letmebelittle [5'7" | CW: 125 lbs | BMI: 19.6 | WL: 84 lbs | Female]
Created: Thu Oct 12 15:52:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/760boi/whats_everyones_daily_calorie_intake/
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[removed]
[Help] Day 4 of work
/u/skinnifat [5'4" | CW: 116 | GW:115 | UGW: 105 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 12 15:30:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7606ml/day_4_of_work/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Are you happier now than you were a year ago?
/u/RossBoss95 [6'0 | 140 lbs | 19 BMI |22 Male]
Created: Thu Oct 12 15:28:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7605zn/are_you_happier_now_than_you_were_a_year_ago/
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I saw a picture of myself from a year ago and I was a bit chubbier and I think i've made progress to get to my ideal weight so all in all I think that aside from all of the struggle ive been through in my on and off relapse with eating I am certainly happier now than I was before
how about you guys
[Tip] fun tips and tricks!! :-)
/u/bleary-eye-d-blue
Created: Thu Oct 12 15:21:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7604gd/fun_tips_and_tricks/
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when your tumtum has the grumblies........
- pour your preferred hot sauce all over your tongue. hold for five seconds. swallow. ouch.
- spin around in a swivel chair; don't stop until you're puking
- punch yourself in the stomach a few times just to remind it who’s boss
- hold a ping pong ball in your mouth instead of eating — bonus points if you choke on it and die
- eat cotton balls?? (not recommended by the surgeon general)
- break your jaw so your mouth has to be wired shut for a few months
it's a wonderful life
[Help] Bad Experiences with birth control?
/u/oyvink
Created: Thu Oct 12 15:01:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75zzo7/bad_experiences_with_birth_control/
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Im looking for other opinions and experiences with BC, preferably iuds. I've been on hormonal BC pills for about 8 months now and have gained a horrifying 25 lbs, in the last few months I've increased my restrictions to try to shed some of it. My avg intake was about 700, which was my limit for when I was restricting before, its been the magic spot for consistent loss without feeling starved in the past and its no longer working. Please comment your experiences with different types of BC and your weight.
Hunger is fat leaving your body
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Thu Oct 12 14:41:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75zutt/hunger_is_fat_leaving_your_body/
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[removed]
[Help] Falafel calories???
/u/pnurplert
Created: Thu Oct 12 14:38:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75zu1r/falafel_calories/
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I dont know how many calories a falafel is, it wasnt written anywhere and i bought it bcs i was with a friend and im awkward. Does anyone know approx how much it is?
[Discussion] DAE have a body that just can’t exercise and lose weight at the same time??
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 12 14:02:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75zl8f/dae_have_a_body_that_just_cant_exercise_and_lose/
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It’s driving me CRAZY. My whole life long, whenever I’m in a workout routine (track season, triathlon season, P90X series, etc) my body locks in its weight and it doesn’t budge a BIT for the weeks/months I’m working out. I’ll keep restricting the same as ever, 1200 kcal or some such, but my weight doesn’t change. I’ll lose an inch or two, a bit of fat, gain muscle and tone, but not lose pounds.
As soon as the workout season is through and I’m restricting the same, weight starts coming off. What the heck!!
It’s like my body has two modes: workout mode and weight loss mode. There is NO overlap.
Can anyone relate? It’s driving me crazy because it just seems like my body isn’t doing what it should. I want to have a regular workout routine! BUT I WANT TO SEE NUMBERS ON THE SCALE GO DOWN.
UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. 😑
[Other] Halo Top 4-pack @ Sam's Club 😍😍😍
/u/hopelessly--hopeful [5'4" | puts whales to shame| F| 23]
Created: Thu Oct 12 13:47:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75zhrc/halo_top_4pack_sams_club/
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https://i.redd.it/u7ff8nkzdgrz.png
[Rant/Rave] VEGAN HALO TOP
/u/nervous_nandu [5'4" | CW 128.4 | LW/GW 98| 19F]
Created: Thu Oct 12 13:35:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75zeqs/vegan_halo_top/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] dae NEVER feel satisfied?
/u/7376549 [♂20/c60/g50/-5]
Created: Thu Oct 12 13:32:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75zdvo/dae_never_feel_satisfied/
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(idrk what to flare as sorry ;-;)
i’ve had this issue for.. as long as i can remember, honestly. i overate as a child because even when i wasn’t physically hungry, i felt like i needed food? like i was mentally hungry, or something? then as a teenager i restricted & lost weight & never felt satisfied because, duh, restricting. in my late teens i "recovered", restored my weight, was eating normally.. still never felt satisfied.
i still never do. like, ever. i could eat til i’m totally full & still have that urge for more food. & it’s not like a craving for anything specific, just for *food*. just to *eat*.
i’m back to restricting now which i guess could explain some of it but even so, i don’t understand *why* i feel like this. i take vitamin & mineral supplements & what i do eat is balanced & healthy & i even aim to get my protein requirements most days so.. what is it? why do i still want to eat *all* the time?
i hate it, it’s exhausting. i’m sick of obsessing over food. i don’t understand how some people can enjoy food but still just "feel satisfied" & stop thinking about it when they’re finished eating. how? just.. *how?*
[Help] I don't even know why I binge anymore
/u/QuornLasagne [🌸 All aboard the binge train | choo choo 🌸]
Created: Thu Oct 12 13:19:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75zamm/i_dont_even_know_why_i_binge_anymore/
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When I first started recovery I would binge all day and night because I'd been craving those foods for so long and I was so hungry. But now the thought of food makes me feel sick yet I still force myself to eat? I just stuff my face with junk food until I feel like I'm going to throw up and then I do it all again the next day..
if you're going through something similar and need help breaking the binge cycle, feel free to message me. I think I need a little help to break through this
~ Q
[Intro] Anyone here formerly obese ?
/u/samelogiic
Created: Thu Oct 12 13:01:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75z6cs/anyone_here_formerly_obese/
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Hi all I am new here but lurking for a while ,
I’ve had a ED since I was 12
I was formerly 260 lbs at 5”4 and finally got back down after about 2 years to now 175 lbs ! Which means almost a “overweight “ bmi no longer obese ! I’m really excited but at the same time I have loads of excess skin ( I smoke a lot yikes I know) and the skin is really bumming me out anyone have any advice on this ? Also my boobs are so bad I’m having to get them lifted in my 20s
I feel so excited about no longer being obese but the excess skin is making me so depressed just thought someone here could relate or help with tips or anything really :/
[Rant/Rave] I feel so free with my ED after deciding to kill myself.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 12 12:58:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75z5mf/i_feel_so_free_with_my_ed_after_deciding_to_kill/
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[deleted]
[Goal] Do you have any weight goals you want to hit before New Years?
/u/diet247x [5'3 | CW 132 | HW 155 | GW 110 | UGW 100 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 12 12:22:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75yx3p/do_you_have_any_weight_goals_you_want_to_hit/
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81 days until New Years! Jesus, this year feels like it flew by for me. I'm trying to lose 11 pounds by then (from 131 to 120 lbs) with restriction and hot yoga.
What are your goals?
[Help] Awkward question about stomach issues..
/u/livvileo
Created: Thu Oct 12 12:21:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75ywtm/awkward_question_about_stomach_issues/
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Okay this is kind of gross but it seems like everyone on here has the opposite problem that I do so I’m wondering if I’m totally alone in this. I’ve been restricting pretty hard lately (staying around 600 cal a day) and omg I’m basically shitting water multiple times a day. It seems like it’s more common to be constipated and have to use laxatives? But I’m not using laxatives at all, nor do I eat a super fiber-rich diet or anything. When I do 1200 cal/day I have to be very conscious of getting enough fiber just to go once a day. Why am I like this? Anyone else struggling and no longer trust their body? Sorry for the TMI but I know you guys understand..
[Goal] Finished my 36 hour fast
/u/starvingarthoe
Created: Thu Oct 12 11:23:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75yifn/finished_my_36_hour_fast/
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I'm extending it. I'm on hour 40 now and I'm trying to make it to 60. So far I feel amazing. I'm not even hungry and the thought of food makes me feel a little sick. I'm promising my family that if I get too hungry I'll eat but I'm determined to make it. I have 4 more pounds to lose and I have a whole week of binging to make up for so they can just deal with it
[Discussion] Constant weight checking
/u/scoutthlostgil
Created: Thu Oct 12 11:13:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75yfyq/constant_weight_checking/
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Anyone els weigh themselves several times a day hopping it'll be different? I used to only weigh myself once a week and now it's like 3 times a day.
[Tip] Are you ready to Train Like an Angel? Register now with Victoria's Secret to WIN the Ultimate Workout in NYC!
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 113.6 | UGW: 102lbs | Peach: LobsterMacNCheese]
Created: Thu Oct 12 10:33:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75y62a/are_you_ready_to_train_like_an_angel_register_now/
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http://www.infinitesweeps.com/sweepstake/145999-Victorias-Secret-Fashion-Show-Train.html
[Goal] Below GW #1
/u/Ladybeeortoise [5'6" | 109 |17.5 | GW: 105 | 34]
Created: Thu Oct 12 10:32:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75y5ug/below_gw_1/
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I'm under 110! I'm 4 pounds away from my current ultimate goal weight (who am I kidding? I'm just going to change it to a lower number 🙄)!
I entered my "height/weight BMI" into Google and all the BMI calculators were for kids lol. Only in my sick head is that a good thing. Anyways, I'm feeling good and wanted to check in. How's everyone else? Give me the great, the good, the bad and the ugly ☺️
[Rant/Rave] My psychiatrist keeps putting me on medications that can cause weight gain even though I keep telling her that it bothers me..,
/u/floodinginmymind [5'8" | CW: 135 | BMI: 20.4 | WL: 47 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 12 10:29:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75y59v/my_psychiatrist_keeps_putting_me_on_medications/
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Disclaimer: she's not putting me on the meds in the hopes that I gain weight, she just doesn't really care about that side effect.
I'm so scared this is going to make me plateau or gain weight. I'm still trying to stay under 500 calories a day but I've been at 133 for weeks.
I'm panicking and I'm worried if she doesn't stop prescribing me these meds then I'm just going to stop taking them.
Ughhh.
[Goal] I can finally fit into boots :) :)
/u/midsummerbird
Created: Thu Oct 12 10:07:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75xzim/i_can_finally_fit_into_boots/
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Please flag as rave, thank you.
All my life I could never wear boots because for some reason my calves are disproportionally huge compared to the rest of my legs. Like wtf its as if my body decided to store all available fat in there. Its like I am walking around with two freaggin pillows down there paired with - as you can imagine - the most sexy cankles known to mankind.
That meant that all my life I could never wear boots because I simply could not close the shaft and if I found a pair they exaggregated the calves issue so much that they looked even more comically huge.
Today I tried on a pair and they actually fit. I am over the moon. This fall will be the season of huge sweaters, cute leggins and amazing long shaft boots <3 <3 <3
Its shopping time you guys!!!
[Discussion] Little things we do to burn calories?
/u/livelikesinners
Created: Thu Oct 12 10:06:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75xzgt/little_things_we_do_to_burn_calories/
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So lately whenever I pee at work (which is often, I drink a ton of water) I've been doing 15 jump squats. I sit at my desk all day and don't have to get up and walk around much at all most days, so even though I work out almost every day I still feel like I'm "sedentary". Does anybody else do anything like this? What do you do to get a little extra calorie burn throughout your day? I'm curious to know what others do and maybe see if there's anything I could add in to my pee routine lol
[Tip] Being strong means throwing away half a dozen cupcakes that you shouldn’t have made in the first place.
/u/dbk1982 [5'2" 35F |SW 215 | CW 208 | LW 140| UGW 115 ]
Created: Thu Oct 12 09:55:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75xwiz/being_strong_means_throwing_away_half_a_dozen/
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[removed]
[Help] why am i gaining??
/u/seawardwaves [5'8" | cw~134.4 gw~115]
Created: Thu Oct 12 09:40:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75xsy0/why_am_i_gaining/
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i've been sick the last few days, so i've been allowing myself a few more calories than i'd like. the past two days i ate 1800 total, roughly.
i estimated yesterday at 950 or so from an apple pear, a bowl of ramen, and some 300 calories of chocolate that i ate with my bf bc i couldn't stop myself... the ramen was from a restaurant where i couldn't find the caloric info or whatnot, so i did some research and estimated it at 600?
yesterday morning i was down a pound, but today i'm back up a pound?? and it's really stressing me out. i'm trying to not let myself skip class or something like this bc i'm going crazy.
how in the world could i have gone up. i can't figure it out. unless i way underestimated the ramen? which seems unlikely. ahh any help is greatly appreciated!
ninja edit~ on mobile can't flair rn
[Rant/Rave] went to the gym for the first time in a while..
/u/xpalmx [5'7 | CW 131lbs | F]
Created: Thu Oct 12 09:28:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75xq6z/went_to_the_gym_for_the_first_time_in_a_while/
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..and I've gotten so weak 😔 I could barely run 10 minutes without getting faint/nauseous and I usually can run for 20 minutes plus do other exercises. I also used to lift a lot too but I had to decrease the weights because they got too heavy. This is so discouraging like I want to work out but I just get upset after going to the gym now.
(Please flare as rant)
[Discussion] Ladies who lift: what does your nutrition look like?
/u/rizzie_ [5'2F CW:128 GW:110 ||🍑 rizzie_]
Created: Thu Oct 12 09:08:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75xljd/ladies_who_lift_what_does_your_nutrition_look_like/
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I’ve hit a major roadblock in losing weight. I’m at 128 at 5’2, and all the extra weight is in my stomach. So I got a personal trainer, and we had our first session today & talked about nutrition.
He was great, not judgy at all, but gave me a lot to think about. He says I should be eating 1500 a day (yikes!), eating every 3 hours (how the fuck?), and eating around 120-130g of protein a day.
Damn. Like I thought I was doing great hitting 40g w/ one quest bar and a pint of halo top per day!?
How do you guys do it? I’m months away from having to eat at a surplus, but even just eating at TDEE is going to be rough.
Most importantly, how do you hit your protein goal with low calorie snacks/meals? I’m lost! Help!
EDIT: After reading your very helpful comments, I realize I made a mistake. I think he said 1g per kilogram and I heard 1g per pound. In one ear out the other, I guess!
[Rant/Rave] Hit new LW, immediately fucked it up
/u/cloudsofdawn [169cm - 5'6.5' | CW: 119.9lbs | 19.1 BMI | -23lbs | F]
Created: Thu Oct 12 09:01:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75xjp7/hit_new_lw_immediately_fucked_it_up/
---
So yesterday I hit my new LW for the year; 119lbs. Of course I am already having an awful mental health week so what did I go and do? I fucked it right up. Binged and weighed in at 120.6lbs, up 1.6lbs. Im trying to tell myself it’s mostly food/waste/water weight because I did burn a fair amount of calories yesterday too, but I feel horrible.
Even at 119, which is in the range I was when I dated my ex (114-122range), I look horrible. I don’t know how I ever felt okay and now memories are flooding back like hey! I fucking didn’t! I had an ED all along and I already knew that but more memories flood in now that I’m getting back into range. I feel more and more like I won’t be loved or attractive enough.
I’m also currently trying to figure out some form of friendship between this ex and myself and it’s very important to me, but seeing myself so ugly makes me feel so terrible. Why would he ever want to be around me if I look like this now and looked like this back then? I can’t believe he even saw me at a higher weight this summer. Kms
[Goal] Kind of hit one of my goals?
/u/Banana-Ghost
Created: Thu Oct 12 07:56:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75x58k/kind_of_hit_one_of_my_goals/
---
A very skinny friend of mine tried to convince me that being skinny is the worst because you get cold all the time and your butt hurts when you sit down on hard surfaces. Ever since she told me that guess what my goals were? That's right.
I thought that would only happen when I reached an underweight bmi, BUT I am now 60kg 169cm with a high bmi of 21 and I was sitting on some steps in uni and my butt started hurting sO MUCH every 5 minutes if I didn't change position. I also got chilly wearing a cotton sweater at 27°C. I was SO happy! I know it's not a milestone and I'm still a 🐳 but it definitely feels like an accomplishment!
What are your weird goals?
[Rant/Rave] Proof I'm messed up
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 64.6 kg | BMI: 24 | -18.9 kg | F]
Created: Thu Oct 12 07:23:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75wy5f/proof_im_messed_up/
---
I feel like shit:
- my limbs fall asleep easily
- I'm always freezing
- I can't sleep at night
- I constantly feel weak and am often dizzy
- I'm hungry ALL THE TIME
- I can't concentrate and am easily annoyed by the smallest things
- I get super pissed off when I have to eat out because there is no way I'm staying below 400cals
BUT:
I feel uncomfortable if I don't feel any of the mentioned. Even if one of these feelings is missing I immediately get really irritated. It's like I'm doing somethisomething wrong if I don't feel hungry, if I'm not dizzy or if I am not freezing.
And although I know that all of that is my ED brain trying to fuck me up I don't mind? I don't want it any other way. Yes, something went horribly wrong with me.
[Rant/Rave] Restricting
/u/Kit-Katt99
Created: Thu Oct 12 07:13:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75ww3z/restricting/
---
So you know that moment when you just can't stop thinking about how good something will taste? That's been me the past two weeks. I've been doing this for months and haven't had a problem yet but these past two weeks have been shit and I gained five pounds. I lost two yesterday and and plan to lose the ready today. Thank god I have a trip tomorrow, where nobody knows about my "I'm not hungry" or "I'll eat later."so I'll have two solid days of restriction and then I hope everything is back to normal. Hope. Sorry for the rant, just needed to get it off me chest.
Hi guys I'm going from job interview to job interview and only had 200 calories so far but feel like binging because I'm not confident I'll get a positive call back...
/u/poppybex
Created: Thu Oct 12 06:49:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75wr8q/hi_guys_im_going_from_job_interview_to_job/
---
[removed]
[Goal] Finally joined Planet Fitness
/u/skydiver89
Created: Thu Oct 12 06:46:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75wqqh/finally_joined_planet_fitness/
---
I'm skinny fat AF at 5'4" and 145lbs. I'm sick of complaining about it and hating my body. I could have an amazing body if I try harder. I'm going to try to come every day. Best case scenario is I maintain my body weight and tone up a tiny bit. :/
[Discussion] October 12th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 12 06:31:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75wo0z/october_12th_2017_question_of_the_day/
---
What is one word for today?
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support October 12, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Oct 12 06:11:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75wkc9/weekly_emotional_support_october_12_2017/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 12, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Oct 12 06:10:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75wk60/daily_food_diary_october_12_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 12, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Help] Major Sleeping Problems? (Help)
/u/sweettutu64 [5'3 | -51.4 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Oct 12 05:59:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75wi78/major_sleeping_problems_help/
---
So I've been seriously considering seeing a doctor because I am so fucking exhausted all the time. I will literally sleep 16 hours out of the day sometimes and that's nuts!! I can't always get my homework done because I'm sleeping instead of studying, and my grades are starting to suffer this semester. I'm one semester away from getting my AA degree and I don't want to mess up my GPA now. Does anyone have any suggestions to try before I shell out money to a clinic?
[Rant/Rave] Scared I'll never be thin/starting bigger
/u/CherryTaint [5'3" 🐷 / GW: 100lbs / 22F]
Created: Thu Oct 12 05:31:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75wdqc/scared_ill_never_be_thinstarting_bigger/
---
First time posting here, so hi!
I just need to vent really or talk to people who can understand.
My whole adult life I've fluctuated between about 150lbs-200lbs, I developed early and have had problems with food since I was 11 which is when I first started dieting and spending hours on the exercise bike. I've binged, restricted, fasted and tried so hard to purge but I was never really able to get my body to cooperate. At this present moment I've been restricting for a little while again, I'm just sick of being in this body and having to dress it and look after it and be inside it when I hate it so much, all I've ever wanted was to be thin and at age 22 (now) I've decided it's finally time for me to get there. I don't know how much I weigh now, scales terrify me and my anxiety just can't handle it, so I'm going by clothes fitting.
At the moment I'm restricting to between 400-650cals a day and I'm finding it pretty good, I've got 30cal rice cakes, 80cal cereal bars, 5cal sugar free jelly, diet coke, sweetener, green tea, garlic fry light, stock cubes and stir fry all available and the want to be thin is overpowering my want to eat. The main thing I'm struggling with is getting in at least 2l of water, but I'm getting there, downing 500ml before eating anything.
Idk, I guess I'm just looking to talk to people about this. The only person who knows about all this is my fiancee so I don't have a huge circle. If anyone UK based has any safe foods they would want to share with me as well I'd appreciate that :)
Self-indulgent navel-gazing again
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 12 05:09:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75wa3j/selfindulgent_navelgazing_again/
---
[deleted]
[Other] [Other] Crying kills my appetite because my inherent fear of emotional bingeing
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 12 04:30:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75w4ep/other_crying_kills_my_appetite_because_my/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Just started restricting again; 24 hours in, 12 more hours to go :)
/u/sororityasian [5'4" | -5lbs | GW: 110lbs]
Created: Thu Oct 12 04:03:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75w0f6/just_started_restricting_again_24_hours_in_12/
---
https://i.redd.it/ykbqq9vqhdrz.jpg
[Goal] I've lost more weight than my cat weighs
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Thu Oct 12 03:56:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75vzg7/ive_lost_more_weight_than_my_cat_weighs/
---
https://imgur.com/zt06Qnc
[Discussion] Anyone fasting this week?
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Thu Oct 12 03:56:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75vzee/anyone_fasting_this_week/
---
I’ve been maintaining my 700 calorie intake but last night decided, screw it, let’s just fast. Anyone else fasting this week?
[Goal] I've lost more weight than my cat weighs
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 12 03:48:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75vy80/ive_lost_more_weight_than_my_cat_weighs/
---
https://imgur.com/4jyUvYt
[Help] « Forced » to eat high cal lunch, what do you do?
/u/2017HeyJude
Created: Thu Oct 12 03:33:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75vw92/forced_to_eat_high_cal_lunch_what_do_you_do/
---
[ Hi, please flare as discussion ]
So, my SO has been obsessing about this new burger place that opened this week, and insisting we get burgers from there. As we are vegetarian, there’s not a lot of options, so I went to check the website and saw that the LOWEST cal veggie burger is 700 FUCKING CALS. Not accounting for fries of course. AND ITS FULL OF SALT, like 70% of the daily recommended intake. I’ve been able to put it off for a few days but right now he is on his way there to pick up food for lunch and I’m just panicking. I can’t eat that. That’s just too much, and I had already made plans tonight to eat out so today’s total will be AWFUL. I finally reached my first GW last week and I feel this is karma forcing me to eat crap.
What do you do when « forced » to eat something much higher in calories that you’re used to? I don’t want to break down in front of him and he’s genuinely excited by this lunch, I don’t want to spoil it. (Obvs he’s not aware of my anxiety over food and of the weight loss).
[Rant/Rave] fun thing to discover at work today:
/u/homicidoll [5'4 | -66 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 12 02:45:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75vpr6/fun_thing_to_discover_at_work_today/
---
me: oh, what's this medication in the cart for (aging 80-something dementia-ridden woman)?
co-worker: Ah... that's medication for her anorexia. She sometimes thinks she's still a flight attendant, and will stop eating to 'maintain her figure'. She went through treatment and recovered, but her dementia makes her forget her recovery.
me, 14-hours into a fast, already on the emotional brink after a different resident died this morning: [oh, word](https://imgur.com/a/bWSa8)
[Other] Trapped With Open Arms!
/u/RichardStarrkey [6'0 | CW:61kg | GW:55kg | M]
Created: Thu Oct 12 02:29:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75vnog/trapped_with_open_arms/
---
A lady I know. Pretty older lady about 40. Won't stop talking about my weight loss. Her co-workers come in, pretty ladies, pretty men. They agree with her.
Feels good, ahaha! Here's the trap.
I like these ladies. We don't see each other often. Chances to go out with them, I jump.
So this milf, my milf. Calls all of us out for lunch, at a place far away. She's paying for me and I can't say no. So I have to eat with them. Great.
I'm trapped. And I like it. It's a challenge.
Oh, and it's Indian food.
[Rant/Rave] This Stops Fucking Now
/u/plediw [161|54kg|GW48kg|19F]
Created: Thu Oct 12 02:03:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75vk4l/this_stops_fucking_now/
---
I've gained 10 pounds since summer and I've just been a disgusting pig. Literally binging and purging every single day, and slowly giving up on schoolwork, and spending money I don't have on shitty food.
I don't care if I feel anxious or feel like I NEED to eat, it's all in my fucking shitty head, and I need to fucking DEAL with it. Because this is unacceptable and I hate who I am right now. I'm just a lazy slug that wastes money and eats and throws up and throws up and breaks promises.
Tomorrow. No more excuses. 48kg by December. No more food as a coping mechanism. Food is an addiction, and I can quit it.
[Rant/Rave] Went out with that guy... the first time I've felt really good about something in a long time.
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | shame | idk | ~64lbs | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Thu Oct 12 01:16:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75ve1i/went_out_with_that_guy_the_first_time_ive_felt/
---
I don't know if this is super relevant to ED. I just have no one else to talk to about this shit.
I had a date tonight. I've been on a couple already with other dudes and they all just ended in the dude trying to get into my pants which... I'm not about that life. I was so close to canceling, but Im actually glad I didn't.
I went over at 8 and we watched a movie and had some wine and I didn't even count the calories... or want to... which is insane for me.
I was only supposed to stay for about 2 hours... I ended up staying until 3AM. I just got home like 10 minutes ago. We ended up talking and cuddling in his bed for 5 hours. He kept drawing his fingers over my hipbones and ribs and telling me how beautiful and sexy I was... and I believed him.
He offered to let me sleep over, but he has drills tomorrow at 9AM and I wanted him to get at least 4 hours of decent sleep.
It was so nice... I feel good about something not ED related for the first time in so long. He made me feel normal.
[Discussion] What to buy at grocery store? (no experience cooking)
/u/cokesyrup
Created: Thu Oct 12 01:00:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75vbpp/what_to_buy_at_grocery_store_no_experience_cooking/
---
[removed]
UGH
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 12 00:56:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75vb6n/ugh/
---
[deleted]
I think my ED is responsible for my not-so-great dental hygiene
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Thu Oct 12 00:44:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75v9jl/i_think_my_ed_is_responsible_for_my_notsogreat/
---
I don’t always brush my teeth at night and I rarely floss nowadays (5 years ago I was a strict 2x per day brusher and flosser) and I think it’s because of my ed.
Sometimes I know don’t want to brush because my brain doesn’t want to be “done with food for the night.” Like I’m still hooked on the taste of whatever I ate last and I don’t want to brush my teeth because I don’t want to keep binging after.
It sucks. And it doesn’t help that my bad habits started because my abusive ex that I lived with had crap dental hygiene and I guess I was just tired or stopped caring. And I got away with it because I am genetically lucky to have naturally clean teeth (still never had a cavity).
But I have gross morning breath and it kind of persists all day long.
So idk why I really still struggle with it but it sucks. And I just wanted to share because it makes me really sad. And sometimes I can tell my boyfriend (who is all around awesome) doesn’t want to kiss me ☹️
Also this sub and all of you here are wonderful. It feels like such a emotional relief to be able to post this so randomly and everyone is so nice and supportive.
If any of you are feeling sad today, please know that just because YOU are a part of this, that you are reading this, even if you aren’t commenting, is really helping me feel less alone with all this shit I struggle with. You are special for being here, you’re part of a supportive group and everyone that’s a part of it is important. So thank you ❤️
[Other] Just a word vomit
/u/TummyRumblz [5'8" | CW: Larvitar | GW: clamperl | F]
Created: Thu Oct 12 00:35:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75v8c2/just_a_word_vomit/
---
I finally made it to Hawaii last week! The weather is beautiful and the restaurants are expensive, so maybe that’ll be motivation to not eat out so much.
Malasadas are delicious as fuck! Idk how many calories are in then but I’m afraid to look. I’ve only had them once.
I’m living with my aunt and it is impossible to fast with her. She believes in eating 3 meals a day but she’s relatively active. I’d rather just starve and not exercise but I might have to compromise with myself.
I was worried about how I was going to handle my poops because I have terribly rancid poops and I didn’t want her to suffer. But it turns out she has some stuff called “poopouri” and holy fuck it works like a charm! No terrible smells and no suffering!!
I really miss chipotle.
I need friends.
I miss my mom :(
There’s a lot of Asian people so there’s al lot of Asian snacks that are low in calories. Do many to try, so little money.
I’m still not used to the time difference so my pooping, eating, and sleeping schedules are off. I can barely stay up past 8pm here.
[Rant/Rave] Depression
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 12 00:35:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75v8bd/depression/
---
(This is surely a rant and not even all that ED related, just needed to say some stuff)
Welp, in an unsurprising turn of events that cyclical depression I've had on and off for the past decade seems to be back. Fortunately, my use of behaviors has decreased radically as I no longer care about anything, up to and including my body and food. So I guess I can tell my therapist I'm doing well.
Too bad I keep crying in public and fantasizing about dying.
I'm supposed to meet with a psychiatrist and I'm pretty sure if I'm honest they'll want me on mood stabilizers and antidepressants. All my life I've been afraid of being bipolar like my dad and I feel like I'm about to get the diagnosis and it's a terrible feeling. At 23 I've hidden two or three manic episodes and the worst of my depression from my family. If they find out my dad will be crushed, just this last visit he was talking about how relived he is that I'm not bipolar.
But regardless of if I am or I'm not, I don't have enough energy to survive right now. It feels like the possibilty of college and a good life is slipping away. Fuck everything.
[Rant/Rave] My mom
/u/aceshighsays [5'2" | C: 110.2 | -27.8 | F | G: 99]
Created: Thu Oct 12 00:23:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75v6my/my_mom/
---
I saw my parents over the weekend. When I saw my mom, her first question was - how much do you weight? you are too skinny!
My parents got me my favourite food - it's something that I only eat when I'm with them... So I'm binging on my favourite meal and my mother tells me that I've eaten enough bread and that I should stop.
God... I'm so confused. Am I too skinny or am I still too fat?
[Help] This plateau is driving me nuts
/u/FlabbyWhiteThighs [5'4"|118.2 lb|22F]
Created: Wed Oct 11 23:56:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75v2n5/this_plateau_is_driving_me_nuts/
---
I've been high restricting (1200-1500) and losing weight pretty consistently, but haven't been able to get below 118 for two weeks. I think my body naturally settles at 118, unfortunately. I ate a whopping 1700 today (I was starving!!) so I'm hoping and praying for a whoosh, but only time will tell.
Maybe it's just that I don't have the patience to lose weight so slowly. I keep forgetting that the first time I lost weight, I dropped 20 lbs in 4 months from low restricting (with a massive binge every two weeks or so, of course). I learned my lesson after I gained 30 back during recovery, so I'm trying to be smart about it this time around. The urge to eat 500-800 is so strong but I'm trying to stand my ground.
Any tips for getting past a plateau? What's worked for you? I exercise 2-4 hours/day 5 days/week if that's relevant.
[Intro] Does this sound like an eating disorder or just normal?
/u/Moonlightswim
Created: Wed Oct 11 23:22:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75uxma/does_this_sound_like_an_eating_disorder_or_just/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] when you find out small muffin you ate earlier was 680cals :))))))))))
/u/blairwaldorfmustpie [5'4 | :\ | -15 | 17F]
Created: Wed Oct 11 23:14:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75uwee/when_you_find_out_small_muffin_you_ate_earlier/
---
and you do the logical thing when going for a second one and you check the calories, because you're trying to get better at eating again because depression makes you eat and not care, but then you find out that it's **SIX HUNDRED AND EIGHTY CALORIES** so you get angry at *a package of muffins* and eat another one in spite????? i hate PMS, i hate my life, i hate everything, but i hate muffins the most. goddamn fucking muffins
[Tip] I know they're delicious, but for the love of god, don't eat more than two quest bars a day
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 155 | GW:118 | -11 | F24]
Created: Wed Oct 11 23:04:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75uuoy/i_know_theyre_delicious_but_for_the_love_of_god/
---
...and seriously don't eat 5 a day for three days in a row. Guys, guys. I'm going to die. I haven't had enough to drink so this isn't the runs. Oh no. This is hundreds of grams of fiber just sitting in me. Cheesus Crisps it's not worth it 😭😭😭
.....still not gonna stop me from doing it again 🙄
[Tip] licking the flavor off doritos
/u/WhattheNorris [5'2 | 154/127.2/110 | ❥]
Created: Wed Oct 11 22:56:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75utbs/licking_the_flavor_off_doritos/
---
share your life hacks and let's all have a laugh
Overweight people who say they used to be anorexic
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 11 22:39:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75uqjs/overweight_people_who_say_they_used_to_be_anorexic/
---
[deleted]
[Intro] Sore, tired, and constantly obsessive
/u/itsheaja [5'7 | CW138 | GW120 | 28F]
Created: Wed Oct 11 22:13:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75um78/sore_tired_and_constantly_obsessive/
---
So, I work at a home improvement store in the paint department. It's a very physical job. I'm on ladders and lifts taking down 5 gallon buckets and I'm constantly running around the store mixing paint, helping customers, etc. I took a three year break to take care of my son who had an aneurysm, so I've been back for just a month. I've been so excited because I get such a workout everyday day I work and the pounds are dropping.
When I was at home with my son, I was doing 700-800 calories most days and was fine. I did binge a lot as well. But since I've been working again, I'm having a harder time maintaining the restriction. Been very light headed at work and spacey. I find myself getting lost in my head when people talk to me.
I know I should do a better job at tracking my activity. My Apple Health says I took 11,303 steps today and 4.5 miles of walking distance. I don't think there is a calorie counter on there so I'm going to pick up a Fitbit (or wait for Apple Watch). Because if I can consume more calories without losing weight based on my daily activity - that would super.
I've been so obsessive with what I eat lately - more than usual. I have a stressful life with my son and his brain damage. He's very difficult sometimes and my husband has been driving me crazy lately. I like to have a total control of everything and get so anxious when I can't complete or handle something. I like to know I have at least on thing in control in my life. I also have GERD and have esophagus problems so eating small amounts doesn't make me sick and in pain.
My friends and family are heavier than me and I've always like to be the skinniest one. My husband always points out when I gain weight and it always stresses me out. I think he knows this and does this on purpose because he likes me skinny. I'm not shy about how I eat so I get the criticism, but I laugh at them inside. They always tell me the "proper" way to diet and what to eat (I'm vegan btw). Or that I don't need to lose anymore. They're all unsuccessfully trying to lose weight too and I just brush them off and restrict more because I don't want them to get close to my weight.
Sometimes I wish I didn't care and eat what I want, but I'm too addicted to this mess.
[Intro] Introduction and ask: tips to prevent binge eating?
/u/HobbitProstitute
Created: Wed Oct 11 22:00:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75ujwa/introduction_and_ask_tips_to_prevent_binge_eating/
---
Hello, I'm a new lurker here. I'm a 24 year old gay guy from the UK and I've struggled with my eating habits since early childhood.
I simply can't stop binge eating. I compensate by working out but the food is winning as I'm largest I've ever been (11 stone 7 at 5"7). I understand I'm not huge but I feel disgusting, unattractive and alone so I thought I'd say hi to you guys since you understand.
How do you stop a mentality that is decades of binge eating? I just don't want to be like this anymore...
[Help] Never really fasted before
/u/PM-ME-CORGIS
Created: Wed Oct 11 21:41:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75ugbb/never_really_fasted_before/
---
[removed]
[Help] Pro ED books?
/u/gayishfish [5'7" | CW: embarrassing | BMI: high | -9 lbs | 23F]
Created: Wed Oct 11 21:13:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75ub6i/pro_ed_books/
---
Does anyone have any recommendations for Pro ED books? More leaning towards pro Ana? I love the movie To The Bone and I'd love to be able to read stories kinda like that. Not so much clinical as it is anecdotal.
Any and all suggestions much appreciated! ❤
[Rant/Rave] Seeing as it's National Coming Out Day....
/u/ladywinterz
Created: Wed Oct 11 21:02:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75u91r/seeing_as_its_national_coming_out_day/
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Disclaimer: This is wordy.
Welp, I read on Twitter this morning that it was National Coming Out Day, so I've decided to do a little coming out of my own. That is to say, I have been grappling with an ED since I was as 13. I am currently 28, and still have never really admitted this to myself or anyone else until now. I entered this sub yesterday, and the amount of support I see that you all give and receive made me feel like I was in a safe space, so here I am.
My ED stems from my grandma who took her illness to the grave with her. Her battle inadvertently rubbed off on my mom and me. I'll never forget when I was encouraged to purge for the first time by my grandma when I was 6 after eating too many Pringles, and when I told my mom she said nothing. She still says nothing when I bring it up. As time passed, I've had my ups and downs with my weight, but was never happy or confident as an athlete, student, employee, etc. because I was never happy in my body. The more I think about it, it's only been the times when I was super deep into my ED that I've felt my best, and for whatever reason; the most mentally clear and have the most success on paper. For the past 2 months, I've slipped into more compulsion than I ever have, which led me here. That sense of control is back, and I've not felt it in years. I feel pretty mind fucked because I LIKE this feeling, and I am continuing to excel and reach certain potentials and career goals (Not sure if this all stems from the ED but I know there is some connect). Anyway, this feels great to put into words, and I am hoping one day that I will be able to iron out these patterns and learn to empower myself more healthfully with the help of you all. Again, each of you are amazing and I am so inspired by your ability to be so candid and so honest about something that I have held within me for 15 years.
Thank you all again.
[Discussion] Tips for keeping a daily food diary?
/u/LynnieTheLemon
Created: Wed Oct 11 20:38:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75u4g8/tips_for_keeping_a_daily_food_diary/
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I keep trying to keep a daily food diary but usually get derailed and forgetful/angry at how much of a little piggy I can be. What are some things that have helped you all in the past? Any tips or tricks to keeping it organized and detailed/up to date?
I get so sad when I hear of children with eating disorders.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 11 20:21:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75u149/i_get_so_sad_when_i_hear_of_children_with_eating/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Told a 'friend' about my ED.
/u/TooCool4Shoe [5'1 | CW: 117 | BMI: 23.09 | Weight Lost 33lbs | F]
Created: Wed Oct 11 19:28:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75tqqk/told_a_friend_about_my_ed/
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I was having a stressful day today and vented for a moment to someone who stopped hanging around me a while back (3 months). I was so frustrated I said I've had ED issues again. They didn't care which is part of the reason I told them as well, I don't feel like being judged about it, but I still feel... iffy. I've been so lonely lately, I really shouldn't have said anything but I have no one to talk to. I wish I had a decent friend around where I live. What if they judge me and laugh about this with their friends? Or start brushing me off even more?
[Rant/Rave] they now have halo top in my local grocery
/u/proudnalgeneowner [5'5 | CW105 | GW95 | 17.68 | 17F]
Created: Wed Oct 11 18:15:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75tbfc/they_now_have_halo_top_in_my_local_grocery/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I’ve figured it all out.
/u/bir_die [🌸 5'8" | 114.8 | 17.27 | Maintaining | 23 Bird 🌸]
Created: Wed Oct 11 18:09:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75t9xv/ive_figured_it_all_out/
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Why I hold on so tightly to my ED, why I toss recovery and my health to the side so frequently.
I want people to hurt. I want them to *hurt*. I want them to hurt the way I hurt and for them to know it’s *their fault*. I want them to *show* they love me.
And since I can’t burn myself (too obvious) or kill myself (too extreme) or get high (not effective); I’ve got to slowly wither away. Throw away a basic human necessity in order to *show them*. To passive aggressively harm myself while staring them down and forcing them to watch. It’s self-destructive exhibitionism. The lower the number, the more they’ll *care*.
It’s for the Love I feel I haven’t been getting. I’m forcing them to put effort into me. I’m trying to get them out of their own lives and pull them into mine so I can use them and *feed* off of them and their energy until they’re just as drained as I’ve become. I want to starve *them*. Punish them for ignoring me, for using me, for hurting me in even the slightest of ways because I want them to just *know*. I want the impossible.
I’m wrapped up, giggling in this blanket of insanity I’ve created for myself; a shitty castle built of vomit and clumps of fallen hair I use to protect myself from the reality that their worlds *don’t* revolve around me. That I’m *not* the most important thing in anyone’s life.
I’m doing all of this in order to make people feel five seconds of guilt and pity. And somehow; I’ve twisted it to make it feel worth it. I’m *destroying* myself and not affecting *anyone else*; but I still try to. As if I can force empathy onto narcissistic, selfish husks that claim they care about me.
But the people who genuinely care and *do* call me out for my shit? I wallow in the guilt *they* give *me*. They’re the ones that actually *matter* and I just give them the same smile and “I’m fine” as if I’m not lying straight to their faces. I use it to fuel what knots my stomach and kills my appetite more than the handful of pills I pop every morning to make sure I don’t become weak and dare *eat*. It hurts me further. Making them watch me tear myself apart to beg for the attention and affection of those who’ll never give it to me.
Yet, I persist. Why wouldn’t I? I haven’t gotten what I wanted. I haven’t become everyone’s world. I haven’t made everyone fall in love with me. I haven’t *earned* anything.
90 will fix that.
[Goal] Thinking about the next day's intake
/u/poppybex
Created: Wed Oct 11 18:04:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75t8xf/thinking_about_the_next_days_intake/
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DAE lay in bed thinking about the foods they'll eat tomorrow and the calorie intake goal?
I can't stop thinking about tomorrow and my goal is to restrict to 500 calories.
[Discussion] anyone else try to sabotage someone else’s weight loss?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 11 17:32:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75t29f/anyone_else_try_to_sabotage_someone_elses_weight/
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[deleted]
[Help] I'm so tired
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 11 17:24:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75t0me/im_so_tired/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Does this happen to anyone else while fasting?
/u/lordjoji [5'3" | CW: 105 | 19.11 | CGW: 100 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 11 17:18:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75sza4/does_this_happen_to_anyone_else_while_fasting/
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I'm currently on hour 49 of my water fast and my foot keeps having the most horrible cramps--they come randomly and I can't even keep my eyes open because of the pain. Is this just because I'm doing water only and will taking a vitamin help?
[Rant/Rave] I feel so fake
/u/whitelilac29
Created: Wed Oct 11 17:08:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75sx11/i_feel_so_fake/
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Some voice inside my head keeps telling me that I belong here and for some really strange reason I feel like I have some sort of eating disorder, but I know that I don't. I really don't know what's wrong with me. I honestly feel like I can relate to so much of what people say here, except for the fact that I don't undereat (even though I wish I could so badly). I don't really know what's wrong with me. Maybe it's just the fact that I hate myself and I think a lot of other people feel the same way about themselves or maybe I'm just one of those wannabe anorexics or maybe I have binge eating disorder. Who knows. I don't even know why I'm posting this. I just wish I knew what was wrong with me (or why I think there's something wrong with me even though there's probably not).
[Help] Why the hell does my back hurt when I sit down? Am I dying?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 11 16:27:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75so03/why_the_hell_does_my_back_hurt_when_i_sit_down_am/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] How long was your longest plateau?
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Wed Oct 11 16:22:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75sn1l/how_long_was_your_longest_plateau/
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[Rant/Rave] I literally just walked outside and shoved dirt and leaves into my mouth and chewed them up.
/u/NewEnglandAutumn [5'8 | 120.8 | BMI 18.2 | GW 111]
Created: Wed Oct 11 16:07:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75sjk7/i_literally_just_walked_outside_and_shoved_dirt/
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Trigger warning- this is gross.
Long story short, I’ve been binging all day. I tried to start out normal at breakfast- but by 2 PM I had already consumed over 2100 calories. I’ve lost count by now.
Fast forward to 20 minutes ago when I ate two bowls of cereal followed by a whole protein bar. Halfway through the protein bar I didn’t want any more but I kept going to “punish” myself.
By this point I’ve eaten so much food today that my tongue is burnt, the roof of my mouth is rubbed raw in some parts, and my jaw is sore from chewing. Plus my tongue is numb and while eating I start to lose the taste of the food and it ends up feeling like wet sand in the mouth.
So I keep chewing this protein bar and I get to a point where I can’t even swallow it anymore. I spit out what’s in my mouth and slip outside to throw it away because my mom was in the kitchen.
I get outside and I chuck the chewed mess into the backward. I realize I still don’t even feel full- I could eat an ice cream sundae right now. But at the same time I don’t want any more food. WTF.
Then I get this urge to keep *chewing.* *Chew, chew* my brain says.
I scurry around to the side of my house where the herb garden is. The herbs are mostly dead and what’s left is brown and blighted. But I keep going. I rip the leaves off the stems and uproot some plants completely- shoving leaves into my mouth. I chew and grimace at the bitterness, spitting plant material onto the ground. I have just this *urge* to eat and to punish myself until I’ll lose the will to ever eat again.
Then I ate the hibiscus flowers off my neighbor’s bush. Then I pulled up a whole bundle of chives and shoved it into my mouth. I ripped off some more random flowers and leaves. I spit all of this out. It’s gross and bitter.
I’m not finished though. I try to chew up some mulch but it’s too tough. I pop brown oak tree leaves like potato chips. They surprisingly don’t taste that bad. But I’m still not finished.
In a final push I go for the gold and pour a handful of potting soil into my mouth. I force myself to chew. It’s disgustingly earthy, bitter, and dry. I start choking on the dirt. I run to the hose, soil crumbling out of the sides of my cheeks like some kind of deranged chipmunk. I turn it on full blast and the water gushes across my tongue, purging the dirt from my mouth. I begin the slow walk of shame back to the house.
*Do I have a* real *problem yet* I ask myself.
.
This time, the answer’s yes.
[Other] Wish it was as simple as it sounds
/u/elliebearrrr [F21|5'6"|HW:190 SW:175 CW:148]
Created: Wed Oct 11 15:48:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75sf8h/wish_it_was_as_simple_as_it_sounds/
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According to losertown if I eat a steady 1200 a day I'll be at UGW by my birthday in March... so why can't I just stick to that instead of shitty binge/restrict cycles????
One of my teachers called me back after class today and expressed concern for my future at the school if I carry on the way I'm going - basically they don't think I can cope with the physical demands of the course. And to be honest, they're 100% right - I haven't been coping well at all since starting back but every day I feel better and better and I'm damn proud of myself! I've been working really closely with the school student welfare officer and I got a referral to an ED clinic from my doctor (the appointment isn't until NEXT FUCKING MAY because I'm not 'high risk' based on my bmi and blood tests but at least it's happening)
Idk if what I'm doing counts as recovery or just high restriction or what but all I know is that I am fucking DONE with food controlling my life. This ED could genuinely cause me to lose what has been my dream since I was a child and I have spent far too much time, energy and money to let it go to waste.
I love you guys, you have been an incredible support but I need to get well.
Wishing you all the absolute best <3
[Rant/Rave] Reached my UGW
/u/basedgore [5'3| CW:90lb | UGW: 90lb | M]
Created: Wed Oct 11 15:24:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75s9nn/reached_my_ugw/
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My UGW was just a weight I picked that would get me in the low 16s BMI wise. I never thought I'd reach it- I don't know why I even aimed for it. Before, my goal weights were 130lbs, then 115, then 110, then 105.. with each of those weights i felt great about myself. I've reached my "ultimate goal" and i just feel empty and sad. I need to maintain now, or risk a lot of complications if I continue to lose, but eating above 1,200 is absolutely fucking terrifying to me. I dont know what to do. I guess i felt like everything would be better once I was 90 lbs? I dont even know what I expected. I dont even know what the fuck I am anymore. I'm not satisfied with how I look. Im still so chubby and soft for my liking, even though I weigh so little. I cant let myself lose anymore though, because who knows how far I'll go? Most likely its just body dysmorphia thats making me feel so huge. For fucks sakes, I'm wearing a kids 11/12 size shirt and my size 1 skinny jeans are falling off. I guess I'm finally thin. Idk
I'm sitting in Starbucks right now as I type this, about to run to the gym and burn off everything I just drank, lol. Sorry for this word vomit I just needed to let things out.
Esp. sorry to the people on discord and peach that have been watching me have an existential crisis, hahaha.
[Other] A joke
/u/NewEnglandAutumn [5'8 | 120.8 | BMI 18.2 | GW 111]
Created: Wed Oct 11 15:23:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75s9ag/a_joke/
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[removed]
[Goal] Unexpected goal
/u/Ladybeeortoise [5'6" | 109 |17.5 | GW: 105 | 34]
Created: Wed Oct 11 15:22:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75s8y5/unexpected_goal/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I FUCKING HATE MYSELF
/u/NewEnglandAutumn [5'8 | 120.8 | BMI 18.2 | GW 111]
Created: Wed Oct 11 15:18:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75s871/i_fucking_hate_myself/
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I’ve tried to eat like a normal person for the last 10 days and I’ve binged Every. Single. Fucking. Day.
Why is it that I can only eat <1200 calories a day or 3500+? What is wrong with me?? Why can’t I eat 2000 calories a day like a normal fucking healthy person.
KMS lol
Edit- plus my flair is shot I weight 126 now GODDAMMIT
**EDIT 2- MY BMI IS FUCKING 19.3 NOW AGGGGHHHH I WANT TO DIE**
[Other] [X-post from r/GetMotivated] Your self Perception is the driving force in your life
/u/invincibletitan33 [5'4.5 | 52kg | F]
Created: Wed Oct 11 15:15:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75s76j/xpost_from_rgetmotivated_your_self_perception_is/
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https://i.redd.it/mqv4dfa9h7rz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Just been told I'm not anorexic
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5'4" | 125 | 21.4 | GW: 115 | NB]
Created: Wed Oct 11 14:49:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75s0u5/just_been_told_im_not_anorexic/
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I have a diagonsis but because I'm not super thin I'm not anorexic 'because I know what anorexic looks like' quote unquote my friend
[Discussion] Mad at parents despite happy childhood
/u/antelsa [5'11" | F]
Created: Wed Oct 11 14:36:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75rxux/mad_at_parents_despite_happy_childhood/
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Is anyone else angry at their parents despite having a happy childhood?
Growing up, my parents provided me with everything I needed and were very loving and kind, but I still feel...bitter. My mom has some mental health problems that I've inherited, and now I basically owe my parents a "life debt" because I know they'd be devastated if I died/ was miserable. I keep thinking that it was very short sighted of them to have children because they wanted to be parents, but didn't think about the suffering they'd cause me.
I realize this sounds very teen- angsty. I was wondering if any of you felt the same way.
[Rant/Rave] Ignore this post if you don't want to hear me list off all the food I've binged on today
/u/Jtgonc [5'8 | CW : 166]
Created: Wed Oct 11 14:19:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75rts4/ignore_this_post_if_you_dont_want_to_hear_me_list/
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I'm writing this post to hold myself responsible and expose myself lol. I have an exam Friday so I've been to my dining hall like 10 times today. It's only 4:15pm and I've had:
-2 hard boiled eggs (140 cal)
-home fries (250 cal?)
-iced almond milk latte (100 cal)
-chai latte (these are so sugary)
-banana (100 cal)
-m&m's and reeses pieces (idk how many, it was one of those self serve places)
-baked lays (260 cal)
-acai bowl (idk like 300)
-rice krispy treat (250 cal)
-smart food (160 cal)
-toast w/ pb and banana (480)
-Swedish fish (like 200 cal? i don't even like these)
It's almost pretty much entirely carbs so I'm having a carb/sugar crash so bad right now. Now I have to go sit through a 2.5 hour class :)))
[Rant/Rave] 2 months later and the binge didn't end
/u/QuornLasagne [🌸 All aboard the binge train | choo choo 🌸]
Created: Wed Oct 11 14:15:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75rsn7/2_months_later_and_the_binge_didnt_end/
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Hey it's me again, some of you might remember me from a few months ago when I asked for advice on binge eating (I had just attempted recovery and my binging was out of control) Your replies really helped me feel better, and I was hopeful that my impulses to binge would lessen as my weight went up, but unfortunately that hasn't happened.
It's been two months and I've been trying to lose the weight again, but I've just been fluctuating between 52 - 53kg since a binge will evidently come after a successful few days of restricting. None of my old clothes fit anymore and overall I just feel terrible about my body. My fat thighs are back and I can hardly cram myself into the dresses and skirts I used to love wearing. I'm trying to get back down to 45kg but it's been so stressful. I've only been able to restrict for 2 days max, and the 3rd will throw me back into a binge.
I'm not sure what the point of this was, I suppose I just wanted to vent somewhere. You might see me popping up again and I've missed being part of this community.
Hope you're all doing well
~ Q x
[Intro] introduction: I am awful
/u/mu-jorim [5'6 | hw 180 | cw 144 | gw 118]
Created: Wed Oct 11 14:04:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75rq0c/introduction_i_am_awful/
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I wanted to introduce myself and dump some stuff out of my brain if that's alright.
I'm 26, I've been disordered for 15ish years, and have gone through periods of restriction only, eating "normally," restriction + exercise abuse, severe and prolonged binge eating (I'm talking every. single. day. for three years), and now restriction again.
I got sober this year. Because I was fucking up my life, but more so because alcohol has too many goddamn calories.
I haven't been able to exercise (or do much of anything physical, really) for basically all of 2017 because my joints are unstable. (Anybody else out there with Ehlers-Danlos or joint hypermobility syndrome?) Not being able to exercise is really bumming me out. Sometimes I feel like even when I do lose some more weight, it won't have been worth it because I'll still just be skinnyfat.
Braindump: I'm ashamed of the things my ED makes me think. Or the things it thinks for me. Examples just from today:
- The reason that this woman congratulating us on our weight loss can't lose weight herself is because she hasn't the most basic self control. Jesus. Look at her. You don't want to end up like that years down the line. Good thing you have me.
- Maybe if your coworker focused more on her actual work instead of all the fucking snacks in her desk, she'd be on your level. She can't even pause to breathe, she has to breathe around her constant mouthfuls. The sound is disgusting. We'll use that as fuel for restriction today.
- [looking at food pictures] We don't eat that anymore. People who do eat that are beneath us. Who could live with themselves after such excess?
What kind of monster walks around thinking shit like that all day? My biggest fear is everyone I love finding out what a piece of shit I am on the inside.
[Intro] introducing myself + a story from this morning
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 11 13:45:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75rla7/introducing_myself_a_story_from_this_morning/
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[deleted]
[Intro] Hello everyone. I'm new here.
/u/VeggieSpaghetti [5'8.5 | CW 140lb | GW 125lb | BMI 20.67 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 11 13:31:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75rhp0/hello_everyone_im_new_here/
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Hello everyone!
Sorry for the formatting. I'm on mobile.
I've been lurking here for a while and thought I would come out of the shadows. I've been struggling with an eating disorder for afew years now and I have never told anyone. You guys seem super supportive and encouraging and I hope you will all like me. I'm pretty shy due to some severe ptsd but I will try to encourage myself to be more involved.
Today I am a little upset that I binged on french toast crunch and wheat thins last night after having a super healthy day. I only cried for about two hours while still stuffing myself. Today is a new day and I am fasting.
I hope everyone is having a wonderful day so far.
[Discussion] Do GW rewards work for anyone?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 11 13:28:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75rgye/do_gw_rewards_work_for_anyone/
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[deleted]
[Help] Guys, I dont know what to do
/u/cuttoarose
Created: Wed Oct 11 13:25:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75rg5r/guys_i_dont_know_what_to_do/
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I have done great exercise the past two days. Today, I have already eaten a bit of chex mix and a cheese stick, and I plan on having a reasonably sized portion of pasta later on. I'm struggling because part of me really wants to exercise off some of the snack I had but the other part is like hey you know you don't have to work out three days in a row. I am going to weigh myself Friday so I'm really nervous. Should I squeeze in a quick workout? I'm conflicted.
I feel like any second now I am going to compulsively grab my weights and get to work
edit:
Spoiler Alert. I just exercised. Blegh. Still kinda nervous about pasta. Someone tell me its okay to eat it.
[Help] Got any cheap elliptical recommendations?
/u/bromodatchi [5'1" | 96 lbs | 18.9 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 11 13:20:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75rerc/got_any_cheap_elliptical_recommendations/
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So, I'm a potato.
But!! I would like to get into light cardio/exercise. I was wondering if anyone had recommendations on ellipticals. Preferably available on Amazon & on the cheaper side? (While I have some money, I don't want to spend a grand on something I can't guarantee I'll use enough).
[Rant/Rave] I’ve been doing a 16 hr daily fast but now I’m extending it to 20. I feel so disgusting.
/u/dbk1982 [5'2" 35F |SW 215 | CW 208 | LW 140| UGW 115 ]
Created: Wed Oct 11 13:19:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75repb/ive_been_doing_a_16_hr_daily_fast_but_now_im/
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https://i.redd.it/01lfrwb449rz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I fucked up
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 11 13:10:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75rca5/i_fucked_up/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Gotta love family.....
/u/fiyacht524 [5'6" |CW 54kg |BMI 19| GW:48kg| Female]
Created: Wed Oct 11 13:03:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75raos/gotta_love_family/
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So this evening i was home for the night for the first time in 2 days - just been busy with college and work so have been crashing at BF's house. Decided because i'd barely eaten today i'd join my parents for dinner - sitting down at the table is a big deal in my house.
So anyway, was chatting to parents, letting them know how college and work are going. Next thing i know they are shitting on me because i mentioned I'd missed two early early morning lectures due to traffic and buses. Anyway cue to a shitty evening of them pulling apart everything i said, calling me cheeky and lazy and unmotivated and 'how was i going to pass my exam' blah de fucking blah.
Made me feeling like absolute crap. Goodbye steady maintaining, hello high restriction. Lets see if i can get that right.....
[Discussion] Does approaching your UGW, or losing in general make you love parts of yourself you once hated or at least accept them?
/u/thescarletlettergirl [5'3 | CW 108 | UGW 90 | 18 F | ]
Created: Wed Oct 11 12:50:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75r7ev/does_approaching_your_ugw_or_losing_in_general/
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I'm approaching my UGW, and I've noticed that I am starting to like parts of my body I hated. For example, my face has always been roundish, but I have very prominent cheek bones, so now it is more square shaped and I like my face so much more. I think my eyes stand out, and I love my freckles. I used to contour the crap out of my face, but now I feel fine going out with very light makeup. I also like my arms now, and I was disgusted with them. However, I still really hate my legs and stomach area...my legs look like tree trunks. So do any of you relate to this or has your body image stayed consistently the same or shifted to other parts of your body? I definitely still have body dysmorphia, but it's different now I guess.
[Rant/Rave] that feeling when I'm jealous of an 8 yr old
/u/fitisthegoal
Created: Wed Oct 11 12:45:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75r5vq/that_feeling_when_im_jealous_of_an_8_yr_old/
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So I'm a student and every day I also nanny and they are 8 and 5 and the 8 year old is so slim her waist is tinyyyyy and her limbs are so long.
My boyfriend finally called me out and got mad I was actively comparing my waist to that of a 2nd grader....
Love my ED 😭
[Rant/Rave] Told my boyfriend
/u/fuckingusernamee
Created: Wed Oct 11 12:39:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75r4jy/told_my_boyfriend/
---
I got fucked up the other night and told my boyfriend about how I've had an ED relapse and had a mental breakdown in the meantime. Now, I'm terrified that he is going to monitor me even though after I calmed down I made him promise not to monitor my eating because it would only make things worse and assured him I was alright. I know he is just trying to be a good guy, but I didn't mean to overshare as much as I did and now I feel awful, because nobody knew before I told him. It made me kind of upset that nobody worried or noticed when I wouldn't eat for days at a time and would go to the bathroom/spit into a napkin after eating out at restaurants, but that only lasted for a little bit, after that passed I was so happy nobody cared enough to make me stop again. Now, my boyfriend knows and he isn't going to forget and I just want to erase his memory of that night.
[Other] Dreamt that I was eating while on the bus
/u/flightlesspotato [166cm | CW 57kg | UGW 48kg | 20F]
Created: Wed Oct 11 12:12:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75qxsn/dreamt_that_i_was_eating_while_on_the_bus/
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So I was on the bus this afternoon when I dozed off, and when I woke up I realised that I was in the middle of taking a bite out of the air...
Basically I had dreamt that I was eating and was going through the motions of chewing. I’m just glad that no one saw me sleep chewing and looking like even more of an idiot :’)
[Discussion] Wearing wrist/ankle weights out in public?
/u/ohwhoaa [5'11"| CW 119.6lbs | GW 115lbs | BMI16.90 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 11 12:12:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75qxnm/wearing_wristankle_weights_out_in_public/
---
Does anybody do this? I need maximum calories to be burned all the time lol.
[Rant/Rave] The guy I like is leaner than I thought
/u/sororityasian [5'4" | -5lbs | GW: 110lbs]
Created: Wed Oct 11 12:10:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75qx5p/the_guy_i_like_is_leaner_than_i_thought/
---
I met a guy off of Bumble recently and we've been talking for over a month now. We literally Snapchat every single day and today I was showing him my shirt because I was making fun of it, and he did the same... he had on nice polo shirt that showed off how lean he was...
I dunno why but his photos on Bumble made him look pretty average. He told me he used to play tennis and he only works out like 3 times a week so I knew he wasn't going to be lean. We're pretty busy and I was traveling before school started so we haven't met yet but we do talk on the phone a lot. So I had all these day dreams about wearing his shirt after he would come home from work or like sleeping on his chest... but now I would feel extremely self conscious. Ugh I can't see him the same way anymore.
At least I can ghost him now tho amirite???
[Discussion] Opiates
/u/xx420bluntymcbongxx [5'7" | CW 129 | GW 120 | 24F]
Created: Wed Oct 11 11:29:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75qmsy/opiates/
---
[removed]
[Tip] Mental Tricks, Self-Programming, and the like
/u/artful_heart [5'7.5 | CW 100.5 | GW 92 | UGW 88 | BMI 15.69 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 11 11:16:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75qjik/mental_tricks_selfprogramming_and_the_like/
---
So the fiance and I were discussing the "self-programming" "tricks" that we do... Like when you're doing crunches and you're feeling like you can't do any more, so you tell yourself *"You know, sure, I can do just five/ten more"* and do them, then repeat telling yourself this so you end up doing waaaaaaaaaaay more.
I do this with food, too. *"I'm not that hungry; I can wait another hour"* usually ends up getting me through much longer than that, or forgetting altogether.
But the big one, for both of us, is programming ourselves to not like gross, fatty foods - either permanently or temporarily. *"Pizza is nasty and greasy and I hate tomato sauce"* works wonders for avoiding that proffered slice of housemates' pizza. *"Candy is just pure sugar. I have better things to put in my body. Also, this candy tastes terrible and I don't like it"* keeps us from devouring an entire bag of candy at once.
For me, when I'm convincing myself that i don't like a food, I also think about the taste and mouth-feel and imagine it as grossly as possible. Deli sliced turkey sandwich? Imagine the turkey slices. They're slimy. They taste artificial. *Ew.* And I can imagine the upset stomach that I've decided mayonnaise gives me (mayo is actually fine in my body, but I've convinced myself otherwise). *Ugh, no plz.* The bread will be dry and bland, *blah*, or worse, soggy and slimy with dressing and turkey juice and it'll taste soggy and make my hands messy and *just no.* I actually don't want any of that, which means that the sandwich is now revolting to me.
Has anyone else tried this kind of mental trick? I've used it to completely turn myself off of all fast food and most fatty/not-low-cal food - and to keep from binging. I'm not sure where I first picked up the idea of self-programming, but the mind is a very powerful tool!
[Discussion] DAE experience chest PRESSURE?
/u/qu1et1
Created: Wed Oct 11 11:12:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75qioy/dae_experience_chest_pressure/
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[removed]
[Help] Newbie who wants to join the community 💕
/u/oxygens_overrated
Created: Wed Oct 11 10:37:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75q9o9/newbie_who_wants_to_join_the_community/
---
Hi! I've been lurking this sub for a couple days now after I found it a few weeks ago when I relapsed. I've had disordered eating habits for around 3-4 years now and I'm pretty much at the heaviest I've ever been. I don't know my exact weight (in fact I was headed to the only scale on campus after this class) but I assume it's around 145ish. I'm 5'4 and a female, in my freshman year of college. I was wondering what apps you guys prefer to use for tracking (I've only used my fitness pal). I have a 🍑 and my username is oxygen's_overrated. I'm really excited to finally be in a community that will encourage me instead of pushing me away!
So yeah, just wanted to say hi! ☺️
Edit: I just weighed myself for the first time in months and it seems my guess was near perfect. So I guess my starting weight is 144 :)
[Rant/Rave] On hour 15 of a 36 hour fast
/u/starvingarthoe
Created: Wed Oct 11 10:24:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75q6go/on_hour_15_of_a_36_hour_fast/
---
I've eaten like total shit over the last week or so. I've lost complete control, gained 2 pounds and I feel like utter shit. So I'm doing a 36 hour fast, eating Thursday and Friday, and then starting a 5 day fast on Saturday. I'm telling my family now that I don't wanna hear anything out of their mouths. I'm an adult, I practice intermittent fasting, this is just a part of it. I'm fat enough I don't need food on a daily basis. I wish I hadn't given into temptation I would have been at my first goal by now. I'm hoping I reach it at the end of my 5 day fast
[Rant/Rave] My sex tape made me realize just how huge I am
/u/ProbablySleptWith [5'6" | 148 | 24.21 | 20F]
Created: Wed Oct 11 10:21:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75q5rf/my_sex_tape_made_me_realize_just_how_huge_i_am/
---
I moved in with my boyfriend in July. I've been very straightforward with him about my ED since we first started dating and he's always been very sweet and understanding. Ever since we moved in together, I've had a couple breakdowns but otherwise I've completely lost sight of my insecurities and I've eaten normally, binged without guilt, and I've been happy with my body because he makes me feel beautiful and sexy and that was all that mattered.
We have a great sex life but we both like to try new things, so the other night I suggested filming us so we could watch it together. He agreed and I propped my phone up on the side table to record. The following day we went back to watch it and he went on and on about how hot we were together but all I could see was how enormous I look next to him... how much my stomach pouts out out... how thick my thighs have become, how my hips made rolls, every little thing stuck out to me and I was horrified. I wanted to convince myself that it wasn't even me I was looking at but the more I watched it the more awful I felt. That night he was kissing me, and it got intimate and he spoils me so he was being all sweet and romantic with massages and kisses and I broke down in tears, confessing what I had been feeling since watching that video. He assured me that he thinks I'm absolutely perfect, that I have a woman's body and that he wishes he could shield me from "society's bullshit expectations."
He managed to make me feel better in the moment but this morning, for the first time in months, I woke up with only the thought of restricting on my mind. I feel like I'm spiraling and like my recovery months were a joke-- it wasn't a recovery at all, it was just one big fat long extended binge. That voice is back in my head, reminding me of what a lard I am, how disgusting and weak I am, and I'm worried that this time, it will never go away...
Sorry for the wall of text. I just feel like I'm right back where I started and I needed to get it all out.
[Discussion] Anyone else bummed as hell about the new BMI scale?
/u/MhmStephany [5'3" |-44 lbs | UGW 101]
Created: Wed Oct 11 08:44:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75pib9/anyone_else_bummed_as_hell_about_the_new_bmi_scale/
---
If you follow me on anything else, you’re probably sick & tired of hearing about this but it’s possibly the worst news I’ve gotten in the past 6+ months (and I’m going through a super complicated/messy break up atm).
Basically old BMI scale said that my lowest healthy weight is ~105 for 63 inches (160 cm). So I made my GW 101 lbs because I’ve never been underweight before and that’s when I know I can stop (or want to or whatever, who knows? I sure don’t).
BUT the new stupid garbage ass BMI scale says that ~101 is my new “””””””healthy ”””””” low weight. I never disillusioned myself into thinking I could get into the double digits; I don’t feel my willpower is strong enough. But now to be underweight I’d HAVE to be in the 90s. So my GW shifted to 96 (because I really only wanna be 5 lbs underweight I know I’m so stupid) but it just fucking sucks.
I was finally more than halfway to my goal from where I started. I felt confident in my ability to lose another 10-20 lbs by Christmas and not binge once between now & then. But...I just feel disappointed in everything. In myself especially because I already feel there’s no way I could get to 96, even though I want it so badly. Or I dunno what I want. I wish I never looked at the dumb new BMI because it’s basically spiraled me even further into my depression and self-loathing cycle. And I know it’s totally irrational because what’s a 5 lb difference really? I likely wouldn’t even notice it on myself considering I still feel like I look exactly the same now as I did at 190 lbs.
~~long arduous sigh into the void~~
[Discussion] Safe fooooodz
/u/cactirootz
Created: Wed Oct 11 08:40:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75phhr/safe_fooooodz/
---
What are your guys' safe foods? I need suggestions
[Rant/Rave] Wedding is on Saturday...
/u/then_she_said [5'7 | -58 | 27F | UGW: 130]
Created: Wed Oct 11 08:33:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75pfw9/wedding_is_on_saturday/
---
And I am .8 lbs away from my wedding goal weight. I'm not eating for the next 3 days.
Also, thank you to all who helped out with my dress freak-out- I took it back to David's Bridal and they're completely altering it again fo' free. The seamstress wouldn't stop talking about how I lose weight between every fitting, and when she finally got the bodice taken in enough I almost died of happiness- guys, I look TINY (for being 160 lbs).
I've also been sh*tting straight liquid all morning at work, and I'm pretty convinced that if I stepped on a scale right now I would be in the 150's. My ED was really bad a couple months ago and I tried to step back from obsessing over getting to the 150's and for the most part reeled in my b/p urges and carefully stuck to high restriction and 'healthy' eating plans, and I'm just so thrilled that even with exercising that self-control I could potentially be there!
EDIT: I MOTHER EFFING DID IT, GUYS. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING AT 159.6- this is my first time being at an officially healthy BMI in years, and it was all I wanted for my wedding. I could not have done it without the amazing support and humor of this group. I <3 y'all.
[Discussion] Time to ditch BMI as a measure of obesity?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 11 08:28:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75pesz/time_to_ditch_bmi_as_a_measure_of_obesity/
---
[deleted]
[Help] How to get rid of water weight/bloating fast
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 11 07:57:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75p7pa/how_to_get_rid_of_water_weightbloating_fast/
---
[deleted]
Eating disorder: Fridge Edition
/u/kein-08-15
Created: Wed Oct 11 07:55:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75p7e3/eating_disorder_fridge_edition/
---
https://i.redd.it/y6j1mr7ai7rz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Secret Eaters
/u/eggshellss [5'4"| :( | :( | -25 | 24F]
Created: Wed Oct 11 07:36:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75p3eq/secret_eaters/
---
Just discovered this show yesterday. It is my new favorite thing!!! Basically it's a UK show where overweight people say they think they eat healthy and they don't know why they're overweight. The film crew places secret cameras and have PI's follow them around to calculate the exact amount they really eat and all the snacking and junk adds up to an appalling amount of calories. It's so satisfying to use my crazy calorie counting skills to add up all the calories as the show goes lol and then at the end they call them out and give them a plan to follow. This one lady reported she was eating 1300 cals a day with a food diary and was actually eating 3k+! There are tons of episodes available on YouTube.
[Rant/Rave] Shopping
/u/nahhey
Created: Wed Oct 11 07:36:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75p3c8/shopping/
---
Its gotten to the point where I have to ask my roommate to buy food for me from the shops for my dinner because i know if i step foot anywhere in a supermarket it will immediately trigger a binge cycle and i will end up spending $20-$30 alone on that one trip for food that i will binge and finish in no less that an hour when i get home. This is easily upwards of 1500 calories in one sitting. I need to time it perfectly so that i binge when she is still at work so i can purge as loud as i want seeing as she isnt homem Our bathroom and shower wreaks of vomit. I fucking hate myself i fucking hate myself i fucking hate myseld this shit consumes me.
[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend just walked into the room and said...
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1.5" | cw 158 | gw 145 | ugw 100 | -12]
Created: Wed Oct 11 07:33:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75p2qt/boyfriend_just_walked_into_the_room_and_said/
---
"Your face looks puffier than usual"
I'm spiraling lol. One of my fears about my appearance is that I'll lose weight and my face will still be puffy. More than once I haven't left the house because I couldn't make eyeliner look right on me because suddenly my eyes were too puffy. Please just let it be the big bag of salted caramel corn I had for dinner last night cuz if it's puffy enough for him to point out I probably look like a michelin baby
Shopping
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 11 07:25:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75p140/shopping/
---
[deleted]
I can’t have a model’s face, but at least I can try for a model’s body
/u/lavenderbruises [5'9" |CW 118| GW 105| BMI 17.4 |19F]
Created: Wed Oct 11 07:08:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75oxth/i_cant_have_a_models_face_but_at_least_i_can_try/
---
When I was 16, I was walking downtown when I was scouted by a modeling agency. Not a big or famous one, but an agency nonetheless. I didn’t get back to them because I was even more self-conscious than I am now.
One day when I reach my goal weight, maybe I’ll have the body of a model. But then there’s my face. I know the “jolie-laide” look is in demand right now, but Im too laide and not jolie enough. I have a crooked nose, uneven eyes, underbite, wide jaw.
Oh well. A girl can dream.
[Discussion] October 11th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 11 06:29:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75oq1x/october_11th_2017_question_of_the_day/
---
What makes you feel wonderful?
[Rant/Rave] I'm freaking out over this wedding
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5'4" | 125 | 21.4 | GW: 115 | NB]
Created: Wed Oct 11 06:21:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75ookw/im_freaking_out_over_this_wedding/
---
My dad gets married on Saturday and obviously there's a lunch which means I have to eat a lot in order to deflect the suspicion that I do have an eating disorder because I'm aware my nan might be watching me eat and my partners gonna be there so she'll also be watching me.
Yesterday I only ate 583.4 calories which is the lowest I've eaten in a while and I'm desperately trying to bank calories for the Korean Fire Chicken my girlfriend is making tonight and also for the meal after the wedding.
For fucks sake I just need to lose 10 more lbs and I'll be happy
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 11, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Oct 11 06:11:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75omtw/daily_food_diary_october_11_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 11, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday October 11, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Oct 11 06:11:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75ompv/way_to_go_wednesday_october_11_2017/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for October 11, 2017.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Rant/Rave] My mom said I'm too skinny
/u/skinnifat [5'4" | CW: 116 | GW:115 | UGW: 105 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 11 05:45:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75oi91/my_mom_said_im_too_skinny/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Why do I even try to hide it anymore?
/u/vkomova [5'11 | ugh | ugh | ugh | F]
Created: Wed Oct 11 04:54:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75oa87/why_do_i_even_try_to_hide_it_anymore/
---
When I was living with my parents I always hid my disordered behaviors because I didn't want them to find out since then they'd make me get help. I don't live with them anymore, and I'm not a minor anymore. Why do I go to such lengths to hide it, then? It's exhausting, and it stops me from losing weight as quickly as possible. I know it's because deep down I'm ashamed of it, but if I were truly ashamed of it, wouldn't I stop? I'm the one actively resisting putting food in my mouth. Nobody is forcing me to do this, I'm doing it because I want to be worryingly thin. So why do I spend so much time and energy hiding how bad things are? And thinking of realistic lies to tell people to explain away certain things I do? This is so fucking stupid and irrational, GOD.
[Rant/Rave] I am disappointed when I wake up in the morning.
/u/Potatokitten82
Created: Wed Oct 11 04:42:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75o8jn/i_am_disappointed_when_i_wake_up_in_the_morning/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] How to handle a family holiday?
/u/noidea744 [5'3| CW 110.8 | BMI 20|F]
Created: Wed Oct 11 03:04:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75nuv0/how_to_handle_a_family_holiday/
---
I'm just curious how some of you handle holidays, I'm going away with my boyfriend and our kids (we have two boys each) next week. I'm worried about showing the kids unhealthy eating habits so I think I'll be restricting to a point but nothing that they would notice :/
[Other] Long story. No lettuce. Emergency room instead.
/u/lumosxnox [5'2, 122lbs, 22.31 BMI, GW 105lbs]
Created: Wed Oct 11 02:55:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75ntku/long_story_no_lettuce_emergency_room_instead/
---
I made a post yesterday saying that today I would cash my check and buy lettuce so I could have my dream salad. I woke up late but made it to the bank in time to cash my check.
As I walk in the door to the bank (which is right next to the Walmart- home of cheap delicious crispy lettuce) I get the following text from my mother's phone "You are an emergency contact on this phone. Driver has been in a car accident vs a semi. Taken to *NAME OF FAR AWAY HOSPITAL*. Can't reach husband or mother"
I attempt to hold it together in front of the bank teller but slowly start sobbing as he's counting out cash. Kim Kardashian crying face style. I put the cash in my wallet and walk out. *CUE THE HYSTERICAL WAILING *.
I call my step dad. No answer. I call my grandmother. No answer. Call grandfather. He answers and says he'll get a hold of my grandmother. Call friend. She answers and tries to comfort me as I'm having the mental breakdown of the gd century in the bank parking lot. Step dad finally calls me and says he's on his way to the hospital. My grandmother calls and says she's on her way to get me and I have to pull it together enough to drive back to my campus parking lot.
An hour later she and my brother pick me up to drive the 2 hours to the hospital where my mom is. We get to the hospital and get the story. My mom was going 35mph and a semi decided to pull into her lane without looking. It hit the drivers side door, causing her car to fishtail and slam into the guard rail. She passed out during the wreck and the car (purchased less than a month ago) is completely totaled. She has bleeding on her brain but is awake and talking. Our biggest concerns right now are brain swelling or her having a stroke as her blood pressure was dangerously high upon arrival at the hospital. Thankfully she is in good hands at the hospital but I'm still worried.
Please send positive/healing vibes my mom's way or keep her in your prayers if you're religious.
I know this isn't a 100% ED related post (other than my salad dreams) but I needed to get this off my chest and you all always make me feel better. Please drive safely, everyone.
UPDATE: She is on her way home now. She will have weekly meetings with a neurosurgeon to check her brain bleed, if it doesn't heal on its own in 6 weeks they will drill a hole to relieve the pressure. But hopefully we're out of the woods now. Thank you so much for all of the support. You guys are the best 💕
[Discussion] What ephedra pill works the best?
/u/aaaaaallie
Created: Wed Oct 11 00:49:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75ncfb/what_ephedra_pill_works_the_best/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] DA take diet pills or supplements?
/u/princesss-dae
Created: Wed Oct 11 00:33:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75na6k/da_take_diet_pills_or_supplements/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend wants to start running with me
/u/iloveitosusumu [5'9 | CW160 | GW120 | BMI23.20 | 19F]
Created: Tue Oct 10 23:51:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75n3sv/boyfriend_wants_to_start_running_with_me/
---
and I'm not fucking here for it honestly. He's supposed to be getting in shape for some marathon fitness contest he's competing in in several months and after me talking about how I alternate running and lifting, he decided he wants to join me. He's not forcing it onto me, I agreed with no pressure, but I know exactly how this is going to affect me.
He's already talking like it's a competition and it gives me such insurmountable anxiety. If this becomes a competition, I know I'll be cutting from 1200 a day to 600 to fasting. I know I'll start pushing myself until I throw up or have to sit down right on the sidewalk to keep from passing out. I know that if I slip up from that, my mental health is going to plummet even further, I know that I'll start self-harming and isolating and fucking *gaining* again. I still agreed to it. Why??? I'm barely a 3/10 when I'm made up, I'd rather kill myself than let somebody see me red and drenched and makeup-less during a 10k.
I felt like I was doing a lot better until now. I have a steady schedule for exercise and eating/macros, I'm not bingeing, I can see the tiny progress on my body. I feel like that's going to be taken away from me. In my mind, if he's better at being active (and therefore /////thin/////) than me, I'll resent him and eventually stop initiating contact with him. I don't want to lose the only person in my life I still have an intimate connection with, but I could never tell him in a million years about my ED. I'm too fat, I know he wouldn't believe me when I look like I do now. Plus, I don't want to become my disorder to him. All I want to be is a normal pretty tiny girlfriend that runs all she wants without needing to compete.
I'm so stuck. My anxiety is through the roof right now and I feel disgusting, I'm fighting the urge to go look in the mirror and get angry at myself and cry. That's all I fucking do these days is cry
[Rant/Rave] The truth shall set you free ?
/u/Ladybeeortoise [5'6" | 112 |18.0 | GW: 105 | 34/F]
Created: Tue Oct 10 22:57:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75mvhe/the_truth_shall_set_you_free/
---
So the shit hit the fan tonight. I broke down and confessed to my boyfriend all about my ED. He cried. He fucking cried. Then I dropped another bomb of truth: I don't want help. I'm terrified of gaining weight and I don't want to be force fed. I don't want to be a burden and have him worry.
He's so good to me and I know he loves me regardless of what I look like but I fucked up. I fucked up and bared my soul to him and I know he'll leave me one day and this will be the reason why. The craziest part is I couldn't actually get the words out. It was fragmented thoughts just words without any real message. So after I bawled and showered I sent him a text.
"I don't deserve you. I love you so much. The shittiest part is that it was completely unintentional. The stress of what happened to Trav took its toll and I started losing weight. It became a distraction to reality. The stupid dysmorphic thoughts started creeping back in and I'm absolutely terrified of gaining weight. It sounds so stupid but in my head this is something I'm good at. This is something in which I can see real progress- I have the control. Not Matt, not my mom, not my job, not Travis - me. When I don't get promoted at work or when my brother completely overlooked me for his big day or when my dad decided to completely abandoned me. This is mine and I can't be blind sighted by it. It doesn't hurt me. I'm good at this and it's who I am. I'm known as the thin girl - I don't know who else to be.."
It's fucking sad when you can't look the person you love in the eye and just tell them how you feel. This bitch of a disease is winning and its like she's my mistress. I just broke his heart and it's just feeding the cycle of crazy. In the words of Fiona Apple 'Hunger hurts but starving works when it costs too much to love'
Sorry for the wall of text... just had to get it off my chest
[Rant/Rave] Losing all of my friends
/u/carlisam9797 [5'2" 18F | CW 119 | SW 130 | GW 105 | UGW 99]
Created: Tue Oct 10 22:15:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75mopu/losing_all_of_my_friends/
---
Last year, my first year of college, I found myself gaining weight (binge drinking, dining halls, the works) and would talk about it pretty frequently. I'm from LA so anything other than stick skinny is fat to me. My two best girl friends (whose bodies were grotesque in my opinion but probably just chubby/a little plump in other people's eyes) would get annoyed but I couldn't stop talking about it and I figured it was fine because I was only criticizing myself. Nope. They both decided they hated me and stopped talking to me out of spite.
Fast forward this year I have a new best girl friend, and I live with her. My other roommate (a gay guy) is still friends with my old friends, who talk shit about me incessantly. Im in a fight (unrelated, I also have a pretty mean drinking problem that flares up at times so that causes tiffs) with the gay one and my girl roommate let me type messages to him from her phone. I scrolled up a bit and saw messages between them including but not limited to:
"It's literally all she talks about it's insane"
"We need to stage an intervention. I don't want to get the health center involved but it's at that point"
"She's skinny as fuck so it's just a psychological thing and it's out of hand"
. I don't know. It hurts me to see my two closest friends talking about me like that behind my back. At the beginning of the year I would puke in our bathroom, have massive chew spit sessions in my bed, and openly count calories, but now I completely hide it. Still, they could do much worse in front of me and I still wouldn't judge them over it and gossip behind their backs, so that's why it pisses me off.
I'm thinking of just cutting off all my remaining friends and only focusing on school, food/the gym, the guys I'm dating, and getting fucked up on the weekends. idk. my opinions about stuff, including food (hence the ED tendencies) are so extreme at this point I just don't gel well with anyone at all.
[Rant/Rave] Eating at work
/u/mildolconf [5'9" | 134.2 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 10 21:29:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75mgf0/eating_at_work/
---
I work at a restaurant. When i first started there I was at a low weight for me & never ate in there. I've slowly been gaining (not a ton, but definitely a little) and will order appetizers or dessert when I'm hungry. I don't really eat at home so what I eat at work is basically all I'll have eaten for the day (days I actually eat before I don't eat at work). Anyway, the guys make fun of me for always eating and today one said, "You must have a tapeworm for not gaining weight with all you eat." I'm so embarrassed and I feel like a fatass. It makes me want to stop eating completely, especially at work, and look visibly thin so they'll shut up about it. So #motivation I guess.
[Help] stuck...
/u/minyoongirs
Created: Tue Oct 10 21:21:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75meut/stuck/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] |Rant| Feeling guilty over food I haven't even eaten yet
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |104 | -116 | 20A]
Created: Tue Oct 10 20:57:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75ma65/rant_feeling_guilty_over_food_i_havent_even_eaten/
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/this is the only place I feel comfortable saying this so I hope it's okay to just, speak into the air selfishly/
Mfp says that if I keep eating 1000 a day I'll
weigh 97lbs in a month. Logically, rationally, I have no reason to feel bad about planning to eat two servings of Chex mix today. I've only eaten 860 calories so far today, they would put me 1,100.
Yet here I am, feeling this anxiety and trying to plan a lower cal, satiating snacks. Why eat chips when you can have an apple or strawberries for less? Why eat chips when you're already over your sodium intake for the day, don't you know better? You'll just want more.
But it's *okay* to want more. I've deprived my body for so long, ofc feeding it a semi reasonable amount of food is going to cause some reaction.
I just feel so bad about it already, and that's only because I bought and planned to eat them. There's no telling how guilty I'll feel if I actually go through with it....
Dae struggle w/ feelings like this, especially those trying to develop a more 'recovery' oriented mindset? :/
[Help] I want to go get Taco Bell. Please talk some sense into me.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 10 20:52:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75m97g/i_want_to_go_get_taco_bell_please_talk_some_sense/
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[deleted]
[Help] Losing weight= thinner calves?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 10 20:46:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75m804/losing_weight_thinner_calves/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Good five-pocket colored/patterned leggings?
/u/awayawaydown [c: 16.9 | g: 16.3]
Created: Tue Oct 10 20:31:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75m4yc/good_fivepocket_coloredpatterned_leggings/
---
So I dropped a size and would like to get some clothes that fit when I change weight. For work, professional-ish jeggings/five-pocket leggings would be great (anything but denim color). Any favorite brands? My inseam in leggings is like 31-32".
[Rant/Rave] I don't feel ready for recovery
/u/DidgeridoOrDie
Created: Tue Oct 10 20:20:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75m2po/i_dont_feel_ready_for_recovery/
---
I just have to rant for a second. I am feeling incredibly anxious (like panic mode). I have been seeing a therapist who I really like since May. I have opened up to her about my ED. But, she hasn't pushed me too hard on recovery and we are currently working on my anxiety and family issues. She has encouraged me to see a psychiatrist to get my anxiety under control. Today I finally found a psychiatrist in my area who is accepting new patients. I left her a message. She called me back and asked me why I was making an appointment and what my primary issues are. I explained that I wanted to primarily work on my anxiety but also mentioned that I do have an ED. I have been actively restricting with exercise and occasional purging. She started asking me all sorts of questions about my ED and asked me if I was willing to work on it. I told her yes. But, now I'm freaking out. I don't think I am ready to give it up. I have so much weight to lose and I am finally making some progress towards my goal weight. But, on top of that I am starting to question whether or not therapy/treatment is right for me if I am not willing to work on my ED. I don't know what I am looking for in writing all of this other than - I just felt like I had to say all of this to people who might understand.
[Rant/Rave] Found This In The Notes On My Phone
/u/PrimaryGreen
Created: Tue Oct 10 20:14:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75m1eb/found_this_in_the_notes_on_my_phone/
---
Okay. So here I am after a binge saying "I'm never gonna do that again", "I'm not gonna eat for a week" and all. Where did this start? Today I was looking at motherfucking pasta and saying "ugh the carbs"
carbs.
Okay but a month ago I didn't know what a carb was and I never intended to.
And the calories. Oh god the calories. last night before the binge i looked at the calories on a poptart and i just about died. I've never even liked poptarts. I allways thought they were disgusting. I inhaled that goddamn poptart so quick.
Then pickles.
Then a pb&j.
Jesus christ it felt so good and so bad at the same time.
After that my grandma picked me up and I went over to her house. She talks about how she needs to loose weight. (Bless her i love my grandma so much.) I'm kinda supprised everyone talks about eating healthy and they eat yogurt for breakfest which they don't know is chalked full of sugar, then a sandwich for lunch (100 calories per bread slice damn)
Anyways- I was at my grandmas house and y'all already know what the fuck is goin' on. I eat an icecream popsicle, and some candy and the next day i eat cheeze-its, a sandwich, and some more candy. It feels like nothing. Willful ignorance. And honestly? Ignorance is bliss. What's so wrong about waking up to sugar filled yogurt thinking you're eating healthy? Really am I any worse than them?
Back to Where this started...
I've allways been concerned about my weight. Mostly about getting old and my metabolism slowing down
(Even though I'm still in highschool it scares the shit outta me.)
So then I started skipping breakfast. I'd go to school and wait for my stomach to rumble. Jesus that felt good; An empty stomach. It felt like such an accomplishment. Then i skipped eating lunch. I never went as far as to skip eating after school.
Then i searched pro anna on tumblr. I wanted to see the destruction. I wanted to see some messed up shit. It's like looking up 'guy fucks pumpkin' on pornhub. (That's a shitty example lmao)
I got sucked in. An endless abyss of ribcages and thighs, coffee and collarbones.
I wonder if some people are immune, if They see the thinspo and say "meh".
So i started a cycle. Don't eat, eat, exersize, don't eat, mess up, feel bad, exersize.
I counted my calories, I chewed my stupid gum, I drank my lemon water and I lost 3 pounds. The number on the scale meant nothing to me when I looked at it. Nothing. All I thought about was how it wasn't even that low. My ugw is 105lbs. Im only 115, and thats only after not eating all day. That's 10+ more ponds to loose.
What am I doing? I've stolen laxatives from my grandmother and (tmi) and shitting my guts out waiting to see the scale at 105 one day.
Fuck This.
[Discussion] Anyone else having a good day/week/whatever?
/u/ThermalAnvil [15 lbs lost]
Created: Tue Oct 10 19:48:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75lw5g/anyone_else_having_a_good_dayweekwhatever/
---
Maybe you hit your calorie goal in a day, maybe you hit your weight goal that week, maybe something great that happened unrelated to your weight (because your weight doesnt have to define your life!)
[Rant/Rave] Watching the scale number get smaller and realizing it’s just water weight makes me want to die
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 10 19:26:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75lrqv/watching_the_scale_number_get_smaller_and/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Binging in Moderation
/u/PrimaryGreen
Created: Tue Oct 10 19:02:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75lmj3/binging_in_moderation/
---
Today I started to binge so instead of saying "Fuck it I'm gonna eat everything" I ate 1,035cals. (I weigh 116 and I'm 5'3) Not over 1,200 calories like the My Fitness Pal app said to. I still feel like shit, but i feel better than i would if i just ate whatever without counting calories. Do any of you do this, and would you try it?
[Rant/Rave] Is this all there is in life?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 10 18:45:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75lixg/is_this_all_there_is_in_life/
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Restrict, binge, fast, binge, purge, resolve to eat healthily and recover, get triggered and binge, restrict, binge. Repeat ad nauseum.
Is this all there is for me? I've had my ED in one form or another since I was 8 - first binging, then restriction, then b/ping, and now this terrible yoyo of binge/restrict/binge/fast/binge/purge. I've been cutting myself for 10 years. My body is littered with scars. I've been to too many therapists to count. I take vitamins and exercise and sleep enough and do yoga, all these things that are supposed to keep you healthy but they dont keep me healthy because there is no health inside of me to keep.
I'm stuck. Stuck in this mental illness purgatory where in my head I could become beautiful, calm and centred, graceful and not awkward, I could finally be free of this cage of anxiety that surrounds me and gets smaller everyday - I could be all of that if only I restricted properly and lost weight and became tragically thin. Then I would be free of myself. But of course that isn't true.
I hate myself so much that in my mind my only redeeming feature are my looks. The only thing anyone could possibly love or want me for. The only thing that matters are my looks because my being, who I am, is too vile to be loved. Just dark and disgusting to its very core. I hurt myself as punishment for existing as a monster. Or maybe I just hurt myself to fill the emptiness and nothingness inside of me. If I'm trying to get skinny then at least I have something to focus on other than the emptiness and the fear. The fear - it gnaws on my bones every night...the only thing that stops it is taking Ativan, which I'm physically addicted to...and even then it just stands outside and taps at my window while I shake.
I don't know if this is making sense. I'm high and just binged for the 3rd day in a row on cherry pie and a chocolate bar. Tried to purge but gave up. If I can't be thin then what good am I?
(pls flair as rant, mobile)
[Rant/Rave] going back to what worked the first time because I can't leave my house anymore
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1.5" | cw 158 | gw 145 | ugw 100 | -12]
Created: Tue Oct 10 17:45:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75l5xm/going_back_to_what_worked_the_first_time_because/
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I'm too fat to leave home. I go to take a shower and I'm too grossed out by myself. I know the shower won't fix me. If I get through that *oh jesus*, I have to put clothes on. Most of my clothes don't fit me anymore because I've outgrown them. The things that do fit are snug. I wear my boyfriends shirts a lot now because they're huge and even though they make me look bigger, at least you can't see any outline of what's underneath.
The only thing that ever worked for me before was having a very restricted diet 6 days a week. I never had to think about all the options because I had a very small list of meals I felt safe with. I'd have one "binge" day a week which really just meant eating outside of my list and not even really binging. And I did IF, because a late night binge won't ruin me if I just plan to eat all my calories right before bed anyway.
I don't know why I've been trying to do it differently this time, maybe because I regained all the weight I lost before? I'm afraid of regaining weight I haven't been able to lose yet. Whenever I see my friends I feel like I'm on display and the conversation will always be about how fat I've gotten once I leave the room. My friends aren't even like that but I feel like they will think it even if they're good enough not to say it. thx for reading whatever mind dump shit this is
[Tip] Hubert's Lemonade- only 60 cals for 8 oz. 👌👌👌
/u/hopelessly--hopeful [5'4" | puts whales to shame| F| 23]
Created: Tue Oct 10 17:27:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75l20h/huberts_lemonade_only_60_cals_for_8_oz/
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https://i.redd.it/dtam40ec73rz.jpg
[Other] Vora Friends
/u/bokoblin-buddy
Created: Tue Oct 10 16:41:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75krrl/vora_friends/
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I just saw a post on here for a fasting app called Vora. Anyone want to add each other and compare fasts?
Vora Friends
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 10 16:40:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75krgk/vora_friends/
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[deleted]
[Thinspo] Its my fav holiday so im already super excited, so heres some christmas thinspo 🎄
/u/CassTheUltimateBA [5'10 | 135.9 | 19.5 | 85 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 10 16:29:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75kp49/its_my_fav_holiday_so_im_already_super_excited_so/
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https://m.imgur.com/a/ZRDR3
[Tip] tip for my fellow ranch lovers
/u/WhattheNorris [5'2 | 154/125.8/110 | ❥]
Created: Tue Oct 10 16:26:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75koh3/tip_for_my_fellow_ranch_lovers/
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Hidden Valley has greek yogurt ranch and it's just as good as normal ranch
2 tbs (30ml) for 60 cals & 1 whole gram of protein lol
they also have a couple other in the greek line
[Discussion] What kinds of diets do you all follow? I'm looking for a little more structure so I can have better nutrition.
/u/Bleepbloopbroke [65|CW 120|GW 107|UGW 84|20.2| -13| F]
Created: Tue Oct 10 16:18:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75kmlh/what_kinds_of_diets_do_you_all_follow_im_looking/
---
What do you guys recommend? I've seen a lot of posts about keto or vegan but I'm not really sure how to start with these. Currently, I restrict, but I still pretty much eat junk food when I do eat. I'd like to start something with a little more structure to make sure I'm not lacking too many vitamins or whatever.
[Help] Explain to me what's happening
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Tue Oct 10 16:16:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75kmc6/explain_to_me_whats_happening/
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I was 80.4kg yesterday morning. (TMI) I had several ridiculously good bowel movements and ate only 700 calories all day.
I weighed myself this morning and I was 80.3kg. I had another tiny BM and I weighed 80.1kg. Where is my amazing weight loss from the ridiculous good BMs 😭😭😭😭
[Discussion] Brush my hair in the morning only because...
/u/shceli
Created: Tue Oct 10 15:49:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75kg00/brush_my_hair_in_the_morning_only_because/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I have an eating disorder instead of a personality.
/u/daeboo [5ft1.5/🌑89lbs]
Created: Tue Oct 10 15:38:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75kdm8/i_have_an_eating_disorder_instead_of_a_personality/
---
* No hobbies other than binging, purging, and arranging my life so I can restrict properly.
* My life either revolves around not binging, or binging as hard as I possibly can.
* No goals except my UGW, or having a good b/p session.
* No real preferences except that zero calorie drink, that quest bar, particular type of apple.
* I'm permanently exhausted and listless from whatever I've done to my body.
* My clothes are chosen based on what makes me feel/look the least fat.
* I read about ED. I watch shit for thinspo or to keep me from eating. I study so I can control myself
Everything funnels back to my disorder and without it, I don't resemble anything close to human.
[Rant/Rave] Planned binge
/u/IvoryBoneGoddess
Created: Tue Oct 10 15:37:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75kdaf/planned_binge/
---
Omg you guys, I can't even. so ever since I got that random money that I told you guys about that I was going to spend on a diet aid the only thing I've been able to think about is binging. So I said fuck it, I'll take my daughter while my husband's at work and we'll go to the Chinese buffet that's down the street and I can eat as much as I can possibly stand and it's going to taste so good. It was awful. Like I had this whole thing built up in my head that everything was going to taste phenomenal and I was going to eat and eat and eat.... it was just bleh. And now I've wasted almost $10 on that crap, when I could've just bought a jar of nutella to eat, and I'm so pissed off and frustrated with my self and i have no one to blame but my own weak fatass. I'm hoping I've learned my lesson and there won't be another incident of this.
Have any of you ever planned a binge and had it just fall flat like that? I usually at least enjoy the food while I'm at it, this was just an all around terrible experience.
[Help] Besides calipers and other tools, is there any way to know if the weight you’ve lost is water or fat?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 10 15:34:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75kcre/besides_calipers_and_other_tools_is_there_any_way/
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[deleted]
[Help] I've just taken lots of photos of myself
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 10 15:07:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75k67u/ive_just_taken_lots_of_photos_of_myself/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Ru Paul's Drag Race and EDs
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 56 | 18.71/18.49 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 10 14:57:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75k3q5/ru_pauls_drag_race_and_eds/
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So I'm binge watching season 9 since it just came out on Netflix. Bad joke aside, in episode 5 there was this huge heart-to-heart among a couple of the girls with their struggles (past and present) with various eating disorders. It was brief but very heart warming, especially since it's seen as a straight/cis/white girl disorder.
EDIT: Here's the [clip](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yylwydTpZyM)
[Discussion] How does your ED effect your sex life?
/u/jessica_rabb1t [5'4| CW 128.4 | BMI 22 | GW 99 | 27F]
Created: Tue Oct 10 14:31:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75jxd5/how_does_your_ed_effect_your_sex_life/
---
Are you too tired? Or do you feel like your drive has gone way down?
[Discussion] Anyone else having a bad day/week/whatever?
/u/whatsupbuttercup5 [5' 3" | CW 109.8 | GW 95 | HW 124 | LW 98 | 25F]
Created: Tue Oct 10 14:22:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75jv61/anyone_else_having_a_bad_dayweekwhatever/
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This week is horrible. Did poorly on an exam yesterday and then one of the faculty ripped apart my oral presentation this afternoon. I've eaten 400 cals today and was going to eat 250 more but nope!
Post whatever you guys need to get out, I promise to respond to every one of you lovely people!
[Help] It's like getting a concussion, the next time you get hit it doesn't take as hard of a blow to knock you down.
/u/howlowcanigo_45 [5'7|CW 125.2|19.5|GW 115| 23F]
Created: Tue Oct 10 14:21:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75juw1/its_like_getting_a_concussion_the_next_time_you/
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My last major round of restriction ended around the beginning of summer, and since then I was still calorie counting but instead maintaining. I chose to do that because after a few months I noticed really bad symptoms (you know: cold feet and hands, chest pains, dizzy, impossibly tired). I went to the doctor after a month of maintaining and she said all my levels were normal.
So fast forward to my ridiculously fabulous life now where i'm back to weighing food and being a complete bitch to my loved ones. Only this time is different. I'm super high restricting because I exercise a crazy amount, but the symptoms came back almost immediately. No ability to keep myself warm and so fucking tired I can barely muster the energy to yell at my SO.
I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Does anyone else notice that when they start a new restrict cycle its much harder on their body? I'm getting sodium, plenty of liquids, eating frequently and nothing works.
Help this sleepy girl and tell me all the good stories to fill the ever growing void that is my stomach.
[Help] What happens when you work out while fasting / heavily restricting?
/u/olivegreenblack [165 | CW 64 | HW 70 | LW 50.8 | GW 50 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 10 13:02:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75jb0b/what_happens_when_you_work_out_while_fasting/
---
I know you need a caloric surplus to recover from exercise and build muscle, but is exercise worth it (aside from burning calories) if you are fasting or heavily restricting? Can you still build strength or endurance or muscle definition?
[Discussion] My New Roots ED experience
/u/eligeunnombredeusari
Created: Tue Oct 10 12:55:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75j969/my_new_roots_ed_experience/
---
Hey guys, I don't know if anyone else out there reads My New Roots (a Canadian, mostly vegan health food/cooking blog by a lady named Sarah Britton), but I was reading it today and noticed she made a post about her own struggles with an ED, specifically orthorexia (and from what I read about her experience, maybe a little ana too).
It broke my heart to read this,
a) because I admire this woman so deeply for what she does and what she promotes through her blog, so thinking about the fact that this apparent superwoman (who represents LITERALLY everything I want to be, and feel like I'm not -- smart, kind, beautiful, self-made, a great writer, Canadian lol, etc.) has gone through some of the same struggles that we all have,
and b) because how sad is it that at one point, and maybe even a little bit now, someone who is so obviously amazing can't see that in themselves? I mean fucking look at [her](https://imgur.com/a/obO8w) (and go read her blog, [here](https://www.mynewroots.org/site/)).
Anyway, I just wanted to share this with you guys. And just know that YOU are amazing and beautiful too, even if you are a late bloomer like I am, know that you WILL find your groove and bloom into a fucking amazing, beautiful lotus of grace, tranquility and confidence one day (lol what am I even saying).
[Other] Since it’s #WorldMentalHealthDay2017 - we’re all valid even if we don’t fit the stereotype of an eating disorder❤️
/u/lunamoon1 [165.5cm | cw: 104lbs | lw: 93lbs |19f]
Created: Tue Oct 10 12:46:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75j6uo/since_its_worldmentalhealthday2017_were_all_valid/
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https://imgur.com/a/Ghck4
[Rant/Rave] Thoughts as of late..
/u/MILF83
Created: Tue Oct 10 12:34:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75j3px/thoughts_as_of_late/
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Binge binge binge, purge purge purge, restrict restrict restrict...Binge binge binge, purge purge purge, restrict restrict restrict.... is this my life forever? I feel like I'm pushing everyone away and IT's taking over my life. The people that I hold very dear to me, friends, family, the love of my life... will this be my life forever? Will I live alone with this?? I fear this.. I fear this is taking over my life. But everything else in my life is on track, why do I feel like this? Why do I hate the person I see in the mirror? I need to escape my mind, my dirty thoughts and body dysmorphia... but how? How do you escape from it? Binge binge binge, purge purge purge, restrict restrict restrict.... it's a vicious cycle that I wish on no one... I'm glad I found you ladies and gentlemen on here to support me. I feel I'm not alone with this anymore. But how do I make my family, and friends and the love of my life that this is an everyday struggle? How do I make them understand I'll never be "normal" and think "normally". I am the only one struggling with thoughts like this? I feel like I'm sabotaging my relationship with these thoughts, I do that with almost all of my relationships. I'm treated like royalty and I'd find some way to ruin it... what am I doing.. why do I do this? Am I the only one that does this?? I'm working on getting a therapist but I'm scared. I'm hoping he/she is actually going to help me not make me worse... here's to hoping for the best.. thank you everyone else for your posts and making me feel like I'm not alone with this.
Sorry this was more like a journal entry but it's what I've been thinking and I just wanted to type it out to I guess get it out. It's been bottled up for so long..
Finally can purge
/u/littlebunny12
Created: Tue Oct 10 12:01:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75iv7g/finally_can_purge/
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[removed]
[Discussion] tell me your story of extended fasting?
/u/luaquiet [5'4" | 132 | 22.7 | f]
Created: Tue Oct 10 11:59:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75iuq9/tell_me_your_story_of_extended_fasting/
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I'm really curious about people's experiences with extended fasting, especially from those who have eating disorders, because I feel that the neurotypical experience would be different mentally/emotionally. By extended fasting I mean longer than 5 days. How long did you fast for? What rules did you follow? How did you break the fast? How did you feel throughout/after? Did you binge afterwards? Did it affect your relationship with food? I saw a video where a guy said fasting for 28 days made his food addictions disappear and now he can eat normally without compulsions. Did you ever consume tea/broth/vitamins/anything other than water? Did you have any health consequences or benefits? Mental health consequences or benefits? Please tell me about your experience!
I've struggled with EDs for about 13 years but have never completely fasted for more than a day. I am nowhere near underweight right now and am considering trying an extended fast (maybe 3 weeks) to heal my addictive relationship with food, perhaps help with my yeast infections that keep coming back despite treatment, lose weight (obviously), reduce inflammation in the body, and possibly strengthen my spirituality (would do a lot of meditation and yoga throughout the fast). I'm on a break from school right now so it seems like a good time to do it. I'm going to do a lot more research, though. Unfortunately there's a lot of conflicting advice from "experts" out there, so I'm curious to hear about people's actual experiences, especially you guys who understand being disordered about food.
[Discussion] DAE have lanugo?
/u/Ladybeeortoise [5'6" | 112 |18.0 | GW: 105 | 34/F]
Created: Tue Oct 10 11:58:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75iubp/dae_have_lanugo/
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So I noticed the other day that my upper arms and top of my back are fuzzy. I'm not even that underweight (maybe 5 pounds underweight). I'm trying to remember if I noticed this when I was younger and in inpatient treatment but it was 15 years ago. I just can't recall. Anyway, those that have it- what hair removal remedies do you use?
Edit: Please mark as Discussion (I'm on mobile)
[Other] Depressed thoughts & ED thoughts don't line up
/u/loseitjen [5'8" | CW: 135 | GW: 115| F 21]
Created: Tue Oct 10 11:49:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75is64/depressed_thoughts_ed_thoughts_dont_line_up/
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Lately my brain has been off the rails crazier than ever. Like instead of the normal, back of my head "who cares what the point" thoughts it's full on "what is the point just fucking die literally nothing could ever matter you're just wasting your time" ringing 24/7. And I know it's only gonna stay like this for a few days (and there's absolutely no chance I'm gonna try to kill myself so no worries there) it's funny how my head is also thinking "ok but even though nothing at all matters, being thin absolutely DOES matter". And it's just ... almost funny to me. Like I'm so aware that my thoughts are crazy all I can do is laugh at it. But also restrict and try not to be a depressed sack of shit🙃
[Help] high restriction woes!
/u/skeletalstarlet [🌙 5'6f | cw: 129 | 20.8 | gw: 112 | gbmi: 18 🌙]
Created: Tue Oct 10 11:26:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75im09/high_restriction_woes/
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hi lovely people!
i need some help regarding high restriction. feeling super down lately about my body and fat as fuck (as usual! yay!) but i’ve been trying to up my intake so i can stop the binging that’s been an issue for the past four years. i’m not sure why i’m this heavy bc all summer i’ve been binging harder and was able to maintain a lower-ish weight, and when i weighed this much last year i was binging almost daily! i’ve only had one REAL binge in all of october so far, but the rest of the days have been maintenance or at a deficit. still i’m fucking bloated as hell and went up on the scale from 125 to 127? does anyone have experience with higher restriction (i’m talking 1,200-1,700) and exercise and can ease my worries? i’m hoping this water is just my period coming because i’m hella jiggly and bloated, but i’m still miserable. hard to keep going.
when i reached my LW in 2013 i was eating 1,350 cals a day, running, and eating those exercise calories back using a heart rate monitor. i don’t do net calories anymore but i’ve been at the gym 3-5x a week doing mainly cardio, i know that can make you retain water but it’s been 3(?) weeks now that i’ve been doing it. i just want to reach my gw in the most sustainable way possible and have enough energy to stay SANE as i’m the best mentally i’ve been in years and have focus at school and work, so i’m trying my best to do things “healthily” but the ED thoughts are still there :(
thank you all in advance !!! i hope this made sense xoxoxo
[Discussion] DAE have serious anxiety when you eat outside your mealplan?
/u/artful_heart [5'7.5 | CW 101 | GW 92 | UGW 88 | 15.8 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 10 11:21:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75ikre/dae_have_serious_anxiety_when_you_eat_outside/
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So, this weekend was Hurricane Nate, which was more-or-less Hurricane Not. We lost power and had a lot of yard cleanup to do, but that was basically it. Internet was out until late last night. And I was soooooooooooooooo good. I did so much raking and sweeping and I ate under 500 calories each day.
And then *today* the fiance hands me a Pumpkin Spice Nutrigrain bar and goes on to entail just how wonderful it is. My breakfast is usually coffee and cigarettes, but I went ahead and took a bite. And then I ate the whole thing.
*Ooooooooh*, a whopping 140 calories; I can alter my plan for the day to accommodate that. But that's not the point.
I plan my day's food ahead of time, more or less. I know what my calorie-allotment is for dinner based on the options that are waiting for me (100-300), and the "snacks" that I graze on throughout the late afternoon determine which of those options I'll go for. This depends upon an under-50-calorie breakfast and no lunch. It's how I roll.
If that routine gets interrupted, it freaks me out. Now I have to re-plan everything. I want to just give up on the day and stuff my face, or spend hours making a new plan just for the day, when it should have been pretty simple.
Anyone else feel this way? Like it's easy if you stick to the plan, but if you don't, everything's f-cked?
[Discussion] DAE feel frustrated w/ themselves and others for taking up a lot of space?
/u/PM-ME-CORGIS
Created: Tue Oct 10 11:04:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75igki/dae_feel_frustrated_w_themselves_and_others_for/
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I’m super observant of how big I am and how much space I take up. I try to push myself to the furthest corner of the elevator or only take up half a seat on a subway. I feel so frustrated when others are so open and even if they’re small them plus their bag is crashing up against me. I think it’s because I want to be so small I don’t take up space or bother anyone.
[Discussion] Does keto make everything easier?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 10 10:41:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75iat0/does_keto_make_everything_easier/
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[deleted]
[Help] Weird unrelated question
/u/throwaway442285
Created: Tue Oct 10 10:39:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75ia6i/weird_unrelated_question/
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Ok so this is the weirdest post and I know it's not the right place to post this but I really enjoy posts here about what people do with their time, aesthetics and music things like that, how they stay productive, or when people show their art or talk about things that they like such as books and that (I know this doesn't happen very often). I don't know why but even though those things are not eating related, I feel like I identify myself with and enjoy posts here about things like that more than in any other place, I guess it's to do with the whole 'eating disorders are not just about food' thing. Like for example I'm recovering from depression but posts about it in specific subreddits are not as good as posts here. Anyway, I know this post is embarrasing, but basically I'm trying to recover and I find myself coming on here sometimes for the company and stuff but I don't really wanna be eating disordered anymore. CONGRATS if you got to this point, you probably don't know what I'm talking about but if you do, my question is: what other subreddits or places on the internet do you guys like to go on that are not directly eating disordered related? Preferably where people interact, not just webpages. I promise I have a life haha or I'm trying to but it's just iwhen or if I'm winding down after uni I find myself here but I know it's not really healthy for me anymore to do so. Merci beaucoup!
[Discussion] Weird body checks...I want to hear them!
/u/justonenon-blonde [5'3" | CW: 115 | GW:98 | 23F]
Created: Tue Oct 10 10:20:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75i5iw/weird_body_checksi_want_to_hear_them/
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[removed]
[Help] weight / appearance ??
/u/abysmal404
Created: Tue Oct 10 10:10:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75i30d/weight_appearance/
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there are times where i get so triggered by my weight but then when i look at myself in the mirror compared to a year ago, i feel that my body looks less weird/ less out of proportion. however the increase in my weight bugs me alot... and it causes my confidence to suddenly plummets :( does anyone feels this way & what do y'all think is more important? weight or the overall look?
[Discussion] DAE feel like they actually don't have body dysmorphia issues?
/u/vkomova [5'11 | ugh | ugh | ugh | F]
Created: Tue Oct 10 10:06:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75i1rs/dae_feel_like_they_actually_dont_have_body/
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I read descriptions of people who have BDD and I feel like it's too extreme for me to fit those criteria. I think I'm just insecure, but deep down I *know* I'm not "fat," I'm just not as thin as I want to be. I still hate my body. I still feel like I'm bigger than I probably am. But I think I still have a pretty clear sense of reality vs. my brain...
[Other] How often do you buy clothes for yourself?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 113.6 | UGW: 102lbs | Peach: LobsterMacNCheese]
Created: Tue Oct 10 09:49:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75hx64/how_often_do_you_buy_clothes_for_yourself/
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I've told myself that when I reach GW I'll go on a big shopping spree. Problem is I haven't hit GW in a very long time. A lot of my clothes are so old as a result of this.
I've told myself to at least buy one item of clothing a paycheck for my mental health. Obviously buying new things for myself would be a nice luxury.
I would LOVE to have a full closet of cute outfits, but I've been punishing myself for not being at GW.
How often do you shop for yourself?
[Discussion] DAE lowkey hate smiling
/u/shrink-me [5'5" | 134 | 22.3 | GW 115 | 20F]
Created: Tue Oct 10 09:48:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75hx3l/dae_lowkey_hate_smiling/
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Or is it just my own insecurities about having a round face shape? Not against being happy lol, but I'm always self-aware that my face looks bigger when smiling.
Mobile, please flair as discussion! :)
[Rant/Rave] feeling horrible after what a guy said
/u/xpalmx [5'7 | CW 131lbs | F]
Created: Tue Oct 10 09:29:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75hs8e/feeling_horrible_after_what_a_guy_said/
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please flare as rant/rave
So a couple days ago I was with this guy (he isn't fit in the slightest btw, he's like skinny fat) we were both lying down and I was on my side. He felt my stomach and he's like wow nice abs and I'm like uh what that's just fat rolls and he starts laughing and then later on he's saying how I'm such a porky woman and he likes how I have meat on my bones (he said this in a teasing way) funnily enough before all this he's like oh you lost weight since the last time I saw you. Like can you stop screwing with my mind??
Even if it was jokingly teasing it makes me feel so upset. He doesn't know fully about my ED but he does know I have trouble eating. Anyways he calls me sensitive for getting mad at him but he's the one being rude af and I don't think I'm being irrational. I won't be seeing him or speaking to him anymore
[Help] [Help] Mixing EC stacks and prescription stimulants...
/u/Letslosethirty [5'2" | CW: 125 lbs | GW: 90 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Oct 10 09:28:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75hs21/help_mixing_ec_stacks_and_prescription_stimulants/
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[removed]
[Help] When are you supposed to take an EC stack?
/u/PM-ME-YOUR-AHEGAO [5'3 | UGW: 108 ]
Created: Tue Oct 10 08:08:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75h9xa/when_are_you_supposed_to_take_an_ec_stack/
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when you're feeling hungry? can you take it even though you're not hungry at the moment?
[Help] Best Scales?
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Tue Oct 10 08:06:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75h9g4/best_scales/
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I've been trying to stay away from scales, but let's face it, i need to begin to be held accountable again or I will never reach my goal! I'm looking for something under $50. I feel like shit right now and hopefully this can motivate me to stop getting fat and disgusting!
My boyfriend had a picture of me on his phone and I knew I was 115 around that time .... I was playing devils advocate and was like wow I look really skinny there, he said you look exactly the same now. He had good intentions and I kinda tricked him....ugh ed brain, but I definitely have gained due to binge/purge or just binge and that solidified it! Fuck! I want to die!
My doctor decreased my anti depressants due to manic cycling and the deep depression made me just lay around and eat and hate myself. I will start my higher dose again Friday....I'd rather cycle than be depressed. I feel I punished with food this weekend.
I'm so depressed but I need a scale, I need to be better and skinnier.
Recommendations?
[Rant/Rave] DAE get more observant of their surroundings in their CW?
/u/sororityasian [5'4" | -5lbs | GW: 110lbs]
Created: Tue Oct 10 07:54:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75h6p0/dae_get_more_observant_of_their_surroundings_in/
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I know there's a lot to factor in, like body dysmorphia or whatever, but I truly feel like I'm fat. While I'm not the most confident person, I do notice that I tend to *settle* for what I think I deserve. Plainer or darker clothes over cute or brighter clothes, to even boys that talk to me, who I know aren't the most attractive or nicest, however it's better than nothing.
I know that if I was *skinnier* that things would be much better than how it is right now. So I've intentionally made myself invisible - passing through my life while trying to restrict and lose weight until I get to where I want to be. I feel during my invisible period I notice other girls around me who I wish to be. I day dream, and live vicariously through them. I know I sound like a super stalker, but whenever I see a girl who's very pretty and skinny, I start wishing I was her.
Some observations I've had in the past couple of days:
* I saw this girl at a coffee shop.She had an outfit like [this](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/5e/8a/82/5e8a8212192aa9de4f63af9004975bd2.jpg), except her tank was green. She had very thin legs, and could put both her feet up and fold her legs onto the little cafe seat. She was working on school work, like I was, but she looked so comfortable and she was smiling.
* I went to sit at the park in the city and there was a girl who was wearing a floral romper just like [this](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/86/5f/d4/865fd4d438301deb609c759d7afe21ea.jpg) and I remember looking at this really cute guy. She walks by him and he turns around twice to check her out. She was also very thin.
* I was traveling a couple of weeks ago and saw this girl on my plane that looked like a bit like [this](https://www.instagram.com/p/BCZjKaEAqol/) and I remember the cute guy that was sitting next her was talking to her and I dream of the day someone would be interested in talking to me that way.
[Rant/Rave] I thought I did well. I gained 1,3 kg in a day.
/u/Kisugi_Ace [176 cm | CW : 67.5 kg | GW : 55kg | Female]
Created: Tue Oct 10 07:42:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75h45c/i_thought_i_did_well_i_gained_13_kg_in_a_day/
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[removed]
[Discussion] October 10th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 10 07:30:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75h1ly/october_10th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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Who was the last person you had a good conversation with?
[Rant/Rave] Can't exercise today, feeling bad :(
/u/fatbishlosingweight [5'7 | CW 226lbs | GW 125lbs | LW 138lbs | -9.7lbs]
Created: Tue Oct 10 07:28:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75h14h/cant_exercise_today_feeling_bad/
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My muscles are really messed up after over-exercising. I can barely walk or move my arms when I get home. And I have so much I need to do that I haven't been able to do because I exercise for like 3-4 hours every day.
So I have decided to stay home today and I feel super anxious about it. I've thought about just fasting today but I don't want to be fatigued tomorrow for my exercise.
Just needed to vent somewhere :(
[Help] Vegans of /proED/, what are some low calorie recipes that you love?
/u/Banana-Ghost
Created: Tue Oct 10 07:28:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75h149/vegans_of_proed_what_are_some_low_calorie_recipes/
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I have been vegan for a few years and I love to cook for my boyfriend but I always lack imagination when it comes to my meals. What are your favourites?
[Other] Vora account?
/u/Letslosethirty [5'2" | CW: 125 lbs | GW: 90 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Oct 10 06:45:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75gsss/vora_account/
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I wanna follow people on vora (it's a fasting app). Does anyone else have an account?
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday October 10, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Oct 10 06:10:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75gmbt/thinspo_tuesday_october_10_2017/
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Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 10, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Oct 10 06:10:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75gmak/daily_food_diary_october_10_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 10, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Tip] Any Zipfizz fans?
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Tue Oct 10 05:33:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75gfcc/any_zipfizz_fans/
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I recently found this at Costco after a friend suggested it for energy. I know coffee and other energy drinks are popular here so thought I would mention it. I’ve been loving it. It’s sugar free, sweetened with sucralose and xylitol. It does have 20 calories and 2 g carbs.
[Rant/Rave] My roommate doesn't know that my scale is sync'd to my phone
/u/edthrowawaywhoops [5'9"| CW: 130| GW: Kate Middleton| F|🍑:Whoopsie]
Created: Tue Oct 10 05:28:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75gem5/my_roommate_doesnt_know_that_my_scale_is_syncd_to/
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So I have the Withings Smart Body Analyzer in my bedroom, which syncs to my smartphone and sends any and all measurements to my phone every time I weigh in. It tracks my 'weight profile' and if there's a weight that's several pounds outside of my last measurement, it will send me a notification about an 'unassigned measurement' and ask me to assign it to a weight profile (that way a family could theoretically use the same scale and it'd know whose weight is whose)...
Annnyway, sometimes I get a notification about an 'unassigned measurement' and see a weigh-in for something about 40lbs heavier than me. Just realized its my roommate (well, apartment-mate, as she has her own room). The one who is always talking about how I should eat desserts because I "deserve it", and who, when I took a small sliver of a cake she made (because that was all I wanted) complained, "that's not a slice!!".
I feel terrible for being a little...happy? that she weighs so much more than me, but I also wanna be like 'yo FYI I know your weight bc every time you come into my room when I'm not home to weigh yourself on my scale it sends it to my phone'
[Discussion] what does everyone 'do' for their fasting?
/u/Trynabeskinny [5"1 | 202lbs | 37.5 | GW 96 | F | 🍑 trynabeskinny]
Created: Tue Oct 10 04:15:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75g3al/what_does_everyone_do_for_their_fasting/
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whats everyones opinions on what counts as a fast?
just water?
under 100 cal?
only tea/coffee?
I usually have 8-30 cals of gum, diet soda, light tea.
[Discussion] Anyone else feel bad for feeling hot?
/u/grave_stoned
Created: Tue Oct 10 03:52:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75g05n/anyone_else_feel_bad_for_feeling_hot/
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I used to hate looking in the mirror, but after losing upwards of 80 pounds through restricting and obsessive b/p, I feel.... really hot?
I always read about how much people hate their bodies even at their lowest weight, and I can absolutely relate to some of those feelings, but most of the time I look at my body and feel proud of what I've done; it's sort of bittersweet because I know how badly I've damaged not only my body, but my mental health on the way down.
My family congratulates me on my weight loss, I can fit into the clothes I like, and I'm still losing weight. It's like a high that I'll never get tired of, and that scares me. I know that as long as I feel beautiful, I won't stop.
Does anyone have similar feelings? Or for anyone with experience in recovery; what made you decide to seek help?
[Help] Thicker thighs?
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 102.9 | 18.8 | -34 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 10 03:21:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75fvz1/thicker_thighs/
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I've been trying to maintain, but the shitty scale I have says I've gained a few pounds and I can see that my thigh gap is gone. I'm not sure if this is from real weight gain, or if its because I've been able to start working out again because I have the energy to move. Muscle = heavier, but also my thighs would be wider if the muscles strengthening. Has anyone else experienced this?
I'm really hoping that I'm not truly gaining, because then I'm going to have to go below maintenance again and my boyfriend will not be happy about that..
[Other] Thanksgiving (Canada) ruined me.
/u/IttyBittyBatty
Created: Tue Oct 10 02:56:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75fsip/thanksgiving_canada_ruined_me/
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LTL, FTP. First things first I want to say that this sub is the most supportive, kind ED community I've encountered. You all are lovely.
Onto my day:
Today was Thanksgiving up North and I had no choice but to eat a full meal with the family. I've been stressing over this for the last week, and have been keeping my days under 600cal religiously, and mostly liquids. I felt prepared for a unwilling "binge".
Low and behold a few minutes after dinner I felt hellish cramps building and ran for the bathroom. My body straight up rejected everything, not to be too graphic but out of both ends. I don't think it was food poisoning as no one else felt sick.
So now I'm curled up with my kitty and a hot water bottle feeling drained and conflicted. My body purged dinner and then some, so yay(?) I just don't know how to feel.
[Rant/Rave] Thought I was losing
/u/buymepizzaaa
Created: Tue Oct 10 02:46:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75fr8w/thought_i_was_losing/
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Just weighed myself and I have gained 10lbs in like 2 weeks. Wtf. I haven't been over eating or anything but I did have some sweets my mum bought me as a present and I didn't want to upset her so I ate them. I never eat sweets ever, maybe like once in a blue moon. Do you think the sudden ingestion of sweets could lead to rapid weight gain after not eating any for a year or two tops?
I'm rambling sorry.
[Help] Leaner legs
/u/LittleSkittles [5'4" | 91.6 lbs | 15.72 | GW 70 lbs | 20F |🍑 psylocibex]
Created: Tue Oct 10 01:42:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75fj6p/leaner_legs/
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Okay, no doubt been asked seven thousand times, but how do I get leaner legs? Anybody have any tips for building lean muscle in legs?
I've heard a lot about running or jogging at an incline, but there seems to be conflicting reports on that one lol.
So, ballet stretches? Yoga? Step aerobics? Anything?
Thanks in advance guys 😊
[Help] Anyone here do keto?
/u/kzxwy [5' 6" | CW: 129.0 | HW: 145.0 | GW: 115.0 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 10 01:30:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75fhme/anyone_here_do_keto/
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I'm always interested in hearing about diets. Anyone here tried keto? It seems to be very popular here on reddit. If you've tried it, how did it work for you? Did you find it kept you full/reduced urges to binge? Additionally, would you mind sharing a typical day of eating on it?
My goals are to reduce bloating and reduce fat, fyi. I am currently stuck in a pretty nasty cycle of binging and purging and have recently even picked up chewing and spitting. Kill me now pls.
Thanks in advance for sharing!
[Other] Daydreaming...
/u/lumosxnox [5'2, 122lbs, 22.31 BMI, GW 105lbs]
Created: Tue Oct 10 01:29:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75fhgy/daydreaming/
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About eating a whole fuckin' head of iceberg lettuce. I have salad dressing in my dorm because I got a salad at a local gas station/cafe thing on Sunday and all they had was ranch. So I bought a bottle of vegan friendly salad dressing from their grocery section and the salad was so good I can't stop thinking about it. I just want a massive ass bowl of lettuce with some dressing. So I'm gonna cash my paycheck in the morning and buy some lettuce from Walmart and a salad bowl the size of a fish tank at the dollar tree.
[Fuck yeah, lettuce. ](https://imgur.com/gallery/c2ExZ)
Anyone else get on kicks where you daydream about a specific food and then eat exclusively that food for days? My common ones used to be hard boiled eggs and graham crackers but I can't have those anymore. For now it's lettuce. *Fuck yes, sweet, sweet, crunchy, refreshing, iceberg lettuce.*
[Discussion] What does your weekly/monthly shopping look like?
/u/PirateLena
Created: Tue Oct 10 01:18:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75ffwy/what_does_your_weeklymonthly_shopping_look_like/
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Hey girls! (On mobile so I can't flag this post)
What does your weekly/monthly shopping list look like?
Do you ever hoard food?
Do you have a specific "binge" or "guilt" list?
[Rant/Rave] Plateaued for ages - then all of a sudden weight loss?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 10 00:59:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75fd6q/plateaued_for_ages_then_all_of_a_sudden_weight/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] DAE hear the word fat?
/u/PM-ME-CORGIS
Created: Tue Oct 10 00:26:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75f8it/dae_hear_the_word_fat/
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When people talk to me sometimes I mishear them and hear them say “fat”. Like my bf said “Oh, your friend!” And I heard “Oh you’re fat” and I had to ask him to repeat himself. I hear it everywhere. I remember even stepping on my parent’s expensive and fancy scale that shows the numbers and even the time and date, and when I stepped on it read FAT and I stepped off shocked and I know it’s my imagination but I feel like I’m going crazy, I see it everywhere.
[Rant/Rave] Lying To My Brother About Recovering For The Worst Reason
/u/Flesh_Daddy_
Created: Mon Oct 9 23:30:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75f0ct/lying_to_my_brother_about_recovering_for_the/
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So my brother and I are super close and he's very aware of my ED. Mainly because he saw the same mannerisms in his ex and so he's hyper aware. He's got like... ED Spidey senses. It really sucks because I have to pretend I'm recovered as not to tip him off. He once sent me a long ass email stating how worried he was and how he was going to help me and yadda yadda yadda. Well, to ensure I recovered, he presented me with a deal I couldn't pass up.
If I lost weight the healthy way, he would pay for my next tattoo regardless of size and price. I agreed and lord knows I tried to follow through. But just couldn't drop a single pound. Broke my heart because I gave up and just started restricting heavily. He's seen how much weight I've lost so far and he's starting to talk about tattoos and what I want and how maybe we'll get matching ones and he's so proud of me.
And I just smile and nod and I feel like the absolute worst. You can say it, I'm a shitty person. I know.
TL;DR: Brother promised me a tattoo if I lost weight the healthy way instead of restricting. Pretended that I've been going to the gym and eating healthy to I get what I want because I'm an asshole and a liar now. That's just how low I've stooped. ):
[Discussion] Who do you guys talk to?
/u/whatsupbuttercup5 [5' 3" | CW 109.8 | GW 95 | HW 124 | LW 98 | 25F]
Created: Mon Oct 9 23:12:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75exjk/who_do_you_guys_talk_to/
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I'm wondering if you guys confide in anyone about your eating? I tried to talk to one friend of mine but it's clear she doesn't approve. I try to frame it as "I just want to lose enough weight so I can fit better in my clothes again" so it won't seem so bad but she gets annoyed/worried.
I hit my first goal weight this morning (under 110), and I was super excited because I haven't been under 110 since 2015 and I had no one to celebrate with me.
[Help] What food tracking apps do y'all use?
/u/princesss-dae
Created: Mon Oct 9 23:09:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75ex2i/what_food_tracking_apps_do_yall_use/
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I really need to keep track of calories, but there are so many different apps out there. Which ones are easiest, or most effective?
[Other] This song gave me chills. This has probably been posted before, but I really want to share it with someone.
/u/dark_witch_karla
Created: Mon Oct 9 22:37:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75ert4/this_song_gave_me_chills_this_has_probably_been/
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https://youtu.be/YpNDxhWRr9s
[Rant/Rave] had a revelation at the gym today
/u/67418
Created: Mon Oct 9 22:32:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75eqx8/had_a_revelation_at_the_gym_today/
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so i went through a tough break up two weeks ago (would’ve been 7 years together as of like next week), i’ve turned my diet around completely, i’ve changed my workout routine, i’ve been taking better care of my skin, and while standing in front of the mirror before doing my squats today, i realized i look really fucking good.
when i first developed my eating disorder my goal was to get skinny for my new boyfriend, 7 years ago. he followed suit and started to lose it way more quickly and so i started to feel terrible about myself. then i starved myself and burned 1000 calories on the elliptical every few days and never strength trained. i never felt beautiful. i relapsed quickly and gained it all back.
but now i finally feel free, and i’m seeing myself in a way i’ve never seen myself before. i feel more beautiful than i ever have and i can see the weight coming off, but more muscle definition and healthy curves. i don’t feel pressure to lose quickly, to look a certain way, to starve myself, and even though and i hate seeing myself undressed still, there’s progress there. the past couple months for me have been an all time low and i think it was actually much needed.
[Rant/Rave] On the verge of a breakdown
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 90ishlbs | BMI 16.46ish | GW: 82lbs | 20F]
Created: Mon Oct 9 21:37:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75eh06/on_the_verge_of_a_breakdown/
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I just am so bad off right now it isn't even funny.
This restriction is getting to be too much. I don't even eat a small amount of calories everyday. I stay between 700-800 and I try to eat like above 30g of protein each day.
I cried my eyes out tonight because I felt like such a whale. College is becoming way too stressful because I barely have the energy to write my papers and to do my work. I almost fainted at my job. I still have so much work to do tonight but I am in such a mental fog that I have to just bite the bullet and wake up early to finish it.
I'm just so tired of this. I don't want to gain weight but I wish I could just be happy. I wish I could love my body. I have a BMI of under 17 and yet I still feel like I'm obese. I literally look the same as I did at a BMI of 21. I don't fucking get it. And you know what irks me? Other people with similar stats to mine all look so much skinnier. Especially taller people with my BMI. Somehow I look massive while all of these other people look like magical waifs.
I'm sorry this is so sloppily written. Just needed to vent.
[Rant/Rave] Why relapse feels so inevitable...
/u/2fckk
Created: Mon Oct 9 20:47:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75e7ky/why_relapse_feels_so_inevitable/
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This "temporarily eating more so fix your broken body" thing. So I've BEEN attempting to recover for what feels like a while now. I've been truly, truly wholeheartedly trying for about 3 weeks at this point. I'm not happy about recovering. I love my eating disorder, I love the haze, I love the goals and perfectionism and superiority. They drive me. However, I'm losing everything that is important to me, secluding myself, lashing out at those I love, and drowning all my talents in self-hate. I need to let go of this disorder if I want to live.
At first when I started "recover" I thought "omg I'm just going from restricting to bingeing" and panicked and went back to restricting. And then I saw a a couple of videos online (ED recovery bloggers, mainly Jen Brett) about how your body needs that initial high intake because it has been so starved for so long. and that those hunger pains are legitimate cues to eat.
So I told myself, "okay, we are following hunger cues and your body needs it all right now before going back to normal". After all, the youtube vloggers did say that after a while, eating returns to normal when your body has become healthy.
Like, due to my ED, a lot of my hair has fallen out and continues to pour out everyday, my skin is sunken and shallow, I stopped being able to lift at the gym, my teeth are all in shambles, etc. So logically I do know that I need to eat a lot of nutrients to "fix my broken body". But..................IS IT BINGING?? MENTALLY, AM I BINGEING????? OR IS THIS NORMAL PORTION/SNACK SIZE....????...OR IS THIS RE-FEEDING HUNGER...??ew?t?rsa?g86R78EHGJFBDKJG DSGAFNJDAGHFDA
This is so disorienting and confusing and my stomach always hurts and it would be so easy tomorrow to wake up and "Take control" and "cleanse".....AKA RETURN TO MY EATING DISORDER FULL FORCE BECAUSE I'M SUCH A BLACK AND WHITE PERSONALITY DUMB BITCH. But I can't return to that! But I hate this! This recovery limbo feels like purgatory. I feel like I've lost everything.
:'D
[Other] Yeah yeah 🙄
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 9 20:18:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75e1up/yeah_yeah/
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https://i.redd.it/ibhp5890xwqz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] “You’re getting too thin again”
/u/cloudsofdawn [169cm - 5'6.5' | CW: 119.9lbs | 19.1 BMI | -23lbs | F]
Created: Mon Oct 9 20:00:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75dy7q/youre_getting_too_thin_again/
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Help/Advice/Encouragement needed. Before I start this, full disclosure my family does not know I have an eating disorder, although they do know I tried to lose weight this year. At the start of the year I was around 145lbs, standing at 5’6.5” (169cm). I’m now 119.9lbs (last weigh in) which puts me at a BMI of 19.1.
Naturally I am very thin with long legs. I am used to wearing small and extra small sizes and always have. I still am not at my “normal weight” which is between 114-117lbs, and I want to be less than that.
I have a very small frame as I mentioned so fat is easy for myself to notice, however because I am so small people always just say things like “you’re already so small you shouldn’t lose weight”, and it pisses me off. I am no where near small or even my normal weight, and yet I’m too tiny? Fuck off
I still have a muffin top, my arms and thighs are still huge and I want my boobs to be smaller (I’m a 28F). I want to ideally be between 95 and 105lbs, depending on how the fat sits at those weights. I would like to be 95 or 98 without water/waste/food/clothing weight added. At that point I’ll have a lot less body fat.
I hate this though. I hate living with family and them projecting their own shit into me. I struggled so much to lose this weight as I kept bouncing from 120-130, and this happened more than twice. It took me 9 months to actually get to this point, so it’s not like it’s sudden?!
Both of my parents are overweight and my mom is very insecure about her weight and doesn’t have much clothing and almost never feels comfortable. She had always tried to live through me, and control me. She constantly makes comments about my weight / appearance and her weight / appearance as some sort of thing to make me feel bad for her or about myself. Even just subtle things like oh well you’ll have to get this for me since you’re the skinniest... like ok first of all I do not have my moms side of the families frame, I am at least 3-4 inches shorter than my dad who is the next shortest, and my body frame is entirely different from everyone else.
Today after being bloated a little and having thanksgiving food (Canada) yesterday and today, she tells me I’m getting too skinny again. The last time I was small I was around 105lbs-110lbs and it was from being unable to eat due to extreme anxiety and trauma. It happened suddenly which was why it was so noticeable back then. I don’t look a thing like I did then, and I didn’t even look bad then. I understand the concern but I’m fine and I’m literally still carrying a ton of fat, which is noticeable and she’s just trying to make me feel like shit.
I just want to be left alone. I want to be comfortable but I feel like I’ll have to just bring out the baggie clothes again despite getting new PJ’s and such. I hate this. I don’t know how to deal, especially as I continue losing. My therapist knows about my ED and I’m legally an adult but yet I am still terrified of forced hospitalization.
Found out this cute, fit girl at work weighs 25 pounds more than me...
/u/dietacokina
Created: Mon Oct 9 19:45:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75dvcb/found_out_this_cute_fit_girl_at_work_weighs_25/
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[removed]
[Other] First day of work probs
/u/skinnifat [5'4" | CW: 117 | GW: 115 | UGW: 105 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 9 19:30:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75ds7a/first_day_of_work_probs/
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https://i.redd.it/uj6yeszcowqz.jpg
[Other] Alli and Me [poopy CW]
/u/Rickticia [5'2| 136 lbs | 28.42 |GW1: 131| 20F]
Created: Mon Oct 9 19:06:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75dndd/alli_and_me_poopy_cw/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Does anyone else hate having that lecture by my fitness pal? Happily completed my under 500 calories goal!
/u/poppybex
Created: Mon Oct 9 18:38:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75dhof/does_anyone_else_hate_having_that_lecture_by_my/
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https://i.redd.it/qg8fxqc8fwqz.jpg
[Help] has anyone accumulated a bunch of research on water fasting that they'd be willing to share?
/u/luaquiet [5'4" | 132 | 22.7 | f]
Created: Mon Oct 9 18:27:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75dfgp/has_anyone_accumulated_a_bunch_of_research_on/
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I've recently become interested in water fasting for a longer period of time than the 22 hours I've done it before. I've seen videos of people who did it for a month successfully and did not gain the weight back. Of course I would do a ton of research before attempting this, but I'm just curious if anyone out there has already done a ton of research and has articles/resources to share for me and others who may be interested. I'm also, of course, open to NOT doing this, or at least not doing it for as long, if the research doesn't actually support it. I'm not willing to endanger my life over this, but I have seen the argument that it can be healthy if done correctly, so I'm starting my research journey to see if this is true.
[Rant/Rave] Friend is recovering.
/u/AnnahxD [5'9"/F/20 | BMI 24]
Created: Mon Oct 9 18:10:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75dbv3/friend_is_recovering/
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I have a friend who is in recovery from Anorexia and she posts photos of herself all the time which is great for her. The problem I’m having is she is now obese talking about her recovering from anorexia and it makes me so scared and freaks me out that if I ever stopped obsessing over everything I eat that I’ll ballon up like that. I know this probably an awful post and makes me extremely insensitive but nothing freaks me out more than seeing her Instagram photos.
[Rant/Rave] Did some casual modeling for a friend today
/u/thefreckledfox_ [5'8" | 165.5bs | 24.89 | -53.5lbs | F | GW: dainty]
Created: Mon Oct 9 18:02:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75da7v/did_some_casual_modeling_for_a_friend_today/
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Good news is that I actually look relatively thin in the photos
Bad news is that I still have the same fucking face as ever
My eyes are half-closed in half the shots and I don't look sexy, I look drunk
not to mention the line of hormonal acne on my chin that looks fluorescent in the natural light
and even my hair, the thing I'm actually vain about, looks limp and greasy because it was raining and super humid
FML
[Help] Lack of hunger blighting recovery
/u/toadally-grody [174.5cm / 47.3 / 15.2 / maintaining / F]
Created: Mon Oct 9 17:50:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75d7nm/lack_of_hunger_blighting_recovery/
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[removed]
[Tip] Spent my food money on proactive
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Mon Oct 9 17:37:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75d4qw/spent_my_food_money_on_proactive/
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I'm so excited. My skin has gone to absolute shit. Seriously the middle east are in talks about harvesting the oiliness.
I'm going to start putting the allotted money for food in a jar and to buy myself treats 😀
[Intro] Los Angeles friends
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 9 17:33:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75d41e/los_angeles_friends/
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[removed]
[Help] Binged but lost weight?!
/u/raz563 [5"11 | 154lb | GW: 120lb | Female]
Created: Mon Oct 9 16:52:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75cvd6/binged_but_lost_weight/
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Yesterday I had over 2000 calories. This is still only maintenance, but I didn't expect to *lose* 2 pounds overnight! wtf?
I'd weighed myself that morning, then this morning in the same conditions.
Is this just water weight or something? So weird. Not complaining though!
Los Angeles
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 9 16:35:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75crtc/los_angeles/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Got told 'I never see you eating!' by a friend.... I'm so damn happy aslkgh;l
/u/rosa1200
Created: Mon Oct 9 16:28:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75cq64/got_told_i_never_see_you_eating_by_a_friend_im_so/
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The only thing I ate today was 3/4 of a Sainsburys Carrot & coriander soup (96kcal for half a pot!) after a 20+hr fast. Didn't have a meal yesterday either, I just snacked on a bit of pita bread and ate half a banana.
I even burned 500 cal on the treadmill at the gym today.
I live in a flat with my 5 friends, but never cook or have meals in front of them. My excuse is that I "don't have my kitchen goods yet" or that I'm "too lazy/tired".
But when my friend told me that...ohhh my god I wanted to scream and hug him. I laughed it off and told him I always eat out before coming home (pffffffffff...)
This sense of control is freaking *amazing* . I feel on top of the world, and I don't even feel a binge coming on. Just wanted to share my happiness from today with you all, hope you're all having a good day :-)
[Rant/Rave] I feel so useless
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5'4" | 125 | 21.4 | GW: 115 | NB]
Created: Mon Oct 9 16:28:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75cq53/i_feel_so_useless/
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I feel like I'm useless, my girlfriend seems to be shutting me out when it comes to talking to me about how she's feeling gender-wise (she's trans) and I just keep getting more and more paranoid because I feel like everyone in my house is talking about me and how I'm not thin enough while telling me I need to eat more. I feel like I'm hated and so fucking alone because everyone in my house says 'you just need to eat more' or 'you ate well today' no I didn't I ate too much, I was supposed to eat as little as I could because I've been eating too much recently.
I want to help my girlfriend pick out clothes but she's maybe 2 sizes bigger than me and my best friend is probably better at that anyway. I don't know if I want to recover or if I should just keep trying to lose the 'weight I can't afford to lose' in the hopes that maybe just maybe I won't be so useless anymore. I can't do make up, I'm never consistently one gender and I'm so paranoid and feel like I can't talk to anyone because I'll just drag them all down because that's what I'm good at. I just want a hug and to be pretty/handsome.
[Discussion] Is it more beneficial to deal with it on your own or to be part of a group to recover?
/u/water_77
Created: Mon Oct 9 16:03:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75ckr8/is_it_more_beneficial_to_deal_with_it_on_your_own/
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I find myself depending on this sub too much. I go on here but it doesn't help me. How do I know if this is helping me or not helping me?
[Discussion] Playing with fire- 132 or die trying
/u/Outlier403 [5'10 | 153.6 | 21.5 | UGW 132 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 9 15:28:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75ccid/playing_with_fire_132_or_die_trying/
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https://i.redd.it/vytwk8togvqz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I'm a horrible person
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 64.6 kg | BMI: 24 | -18.9 kg | F]
Created: Mon Oct 9 15:13:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75c8yz/im_a_horrible_person/
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I just bitched at my dad just because he was making fun of my food. Why did I do that? I already knew his opinion about almond milk so it shouldn't be surprising for him to make fun if it after seeing it in the kitchen and I know he doesn't mean it in a mean manner. But I just yelled at him to please stop making fun of my food because it's making me feel uncomfortable..I used "nice" words but I said it in the most horrible tone and I could see that he was hurt. I have absolutely no control over myself anymore and bitch at everyone. He didn't deserve that and I wasn't able to apologize properly for my outburst because he went to bed right after and I want to cry. I always do that, he only means well but I get so annoyed and get off on him. Wow I'm such a great daughter. I really want to dissapear now.
And to add to my misery : I accidentally out myself as a mental case step by step to my family which I wanted to avoid at all cost. GREAT!
Mom told me how good I looked and I just said "yeah I don't see it though" and there it was. I'm 2 sizes smaller and I don't see it? And that was just one of many little slip ups. I can't have them figuring it out now! Not when I still have 11kg (at least) to lose!
But I also want to stop being such a bitch to my family. I have no idea what to do, I'm just a horrible person.
Sorry for my rant, just had to let it out. Thanks for reading, hope your day/evening went better than mine.
[Discussion] DAE find they are more alert and productive when fasting?
/u/FastPhoria [5'10 | 117.5 | 16.4 / 16.8 | UGW: 119?? | F]
Created: Mon Oct 9 15:04:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75c6ro/dae_find_they_are_more_alert_and_productive_when/
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Hey all! :)
So I usually fast through the day and then eat dinner at ~7ish. The last couple of days though, I've been trying to be more 'healthy' (hah!) and eat porridge around midday-ish. The idea was that it would improve my concentration, but instead I swear it makes me dopey.
Today I was supposed to review a math paper, and I fell asleep on my desk! On page TWO for fuck's sake!! This has never happened before.
In the interest of science-totally-not-my-ED-in-disguise, tomorrow I'm going to skip it. I'm a whale anyway, I should be able to live off my blubber just fine and dandy. But I would be interested to hear if other people have experienced similar?
[Intro] Guess who's back... back again...
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 160 | 28.00 | 0 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 9 14:45:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75c1xd/guess_whos_back_back_again/
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Hello all.
I have been inactive on this sub for about a year. Last time we met I was at 143.6, I'm now at 160. BLEH
I'm okay with relapsing. I've recently started breaking out, looking like a sausage in clothes that fit better earlier this year, and working a less active job plus a second job that was driving me to get fast food after work. No more of that, for my waistline and for my budget.
At my desk job I have an under-the-desk cycler, so I need to do that for an hour or five a day. I need to get my Fitbit up and running and use it to its full potential. I need to get my meal prepping and planning under better control, as well as portion sizes better.
I need to do this without EC stacking, I need to minimize my harm this time. I'm taking pre-natal vitamins, biotin; using good shampoos and conditioners; I need to stick to around 1000cal to start to see where that gets me. I'm historically a restricter, no purging. I pay for a gym membership but haven't used it in forever. I need to drink more water, I think start with finishing my 30oz Sbux cup twice a day at least will be a good start.
I just need to put my thoughts somewhere. I'll be around. be safe everyone <3
[Rant/Rave] Thanksgiving might be the end of me...
/u/letmebelittle [5'7" | CW: 125 lbs | BMI: 19.6 | WL: 84 lbs | Female]
Created: Mon Oct 9 14:41:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75c0yw/thanksgiving_might_be_the_end_of_me/
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I didn't think I was going to end up going to a dinner. I thought I would be able to stay at home and study and fast all weekend.
BUT NOPE. GUESS NOT. Now I'm being forced to eat a huge meal AND DESSERT in front of my entire extended family. Fuck. Guess who's gonna purge tonight? Fml.
[Rant/Rave] I'm crying in the library for what???
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | 136.0 | 18.4 | ~64lbs | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Mon Oct 9 14:25:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75bwvf/im_crying_in_the_library_for_what/
---
I don't even know why I was just doing some organic chem homework in the library and suddenly felt my thighs? Like I became hyper-aware of them... I am .2lbs from my lowest ever adult weight... which is probably just water and bloat from the fact my period is supposed to be around now (even though I've lost it for nearly 2 months now). I'm legit about 3 pounds away from underweight...
WHY DO MY THIGHS FEEL BIGGER THAN EVER? My fucking legs are so FAT LOOKING. I can feel them in my pants and its bothering me so much. I know literally no one even notices me or my thighs but I can't help but feel like EVERYONE is laughing inside about how much they jiggle... narcissism
☄☄☄ please kill me
I feel like this body isn't mine and Im just living inside of it. I'm never going to fit what I feel like I'm meant to look like in my head.
[Rant/Rave] I'm so sick of food rn and my best friend is a 🐍 [rant/rave]
/u/-novaterra- [174cm | 60Kg | i wanna be 58 again :( |]
Created: Mon Oct 9 14:23:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75bwg5/im_so_sick_of_food_rn_and_my_best_friend_is_a/
---
So I fast a lot. And usually go for 4 days and refeed. Today I passed my 48 hour, and felt terrible couldn't even walk up the stairs.
Decided to eat healthy at maintenance lvl for today and continue tomorrow.
Well. I have opened a hell hole in the pits of my abdomen. I've been digesting the whole bloody day. Literally sick of food. Good thing is I'll be able to fast 2 days easy with this gunk in my system.
Also my friends were suppose to come visit me. Wanted to cook for them. And out of all of them my bestie decides to say ''u nd ur stupid fasts, ur crazy eating like that'' TO THE WHOLE GROUP CHAT like fuck off mate you ate raw rice for a month and just that to lose your weight. And I never commented about her eating habits. Plus now she's 10kg lighter than me and decides to preach on how to lose weight. Like wtf what I do is healthy. Keto and fasting and self hate is what's getting me there in good binge free pace.
Anyway I canceled that by ghosting all of them. Ate food for 6 people and that self hate is creeping out with all my atomic stomach cramps. So that's nice
My mom said I look like a Bratz doll...
/u/sp_600 [5'7🌻107🌻16.8🌻20f]
Created: Mon Oct 9 13:49:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75bnzn/my_mom_said_i_look_like_a_bratz_doll/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Binged like a mofo but....not purging
/u/backpackcats88 [5'7 | CW 120lb | 18.6 | GW105 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 9 13:26:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75bhvs/binged_like_a_mofo_butnot_purging/
---
Holed up in a mediocre hotel atm for work purposes. Free full breakfast every day (hot food, bread, scones, fruit).
So...day 1/10 - I have a full breakfast (eggs, toast, bacon, croissant), have a really good sandwich for lunch and then fries + fried chicken for dinner + chocolate crepes for dessert.
God. I just want to die. But I won't. I want to purge, but this hotel is majorly sketchy and the bathroom is not the cleanest. Been contemplating throwing up into a bag and then chucking it in a bin outside....but...yeah. So, here I am. Feeling like a bag of shit (figuratively/literally) and trying to convince myself that tomorrow will be better.
Thanks for listening :) Just wanted to rant.
[Other] Successfully completed 3 20 hour fasts in the last five days. And this morning at breakfast I was able to get out of eating the other half of my burrito because my son was throwing a fit in the restaurant. Yay.
/u/dbk1982 [5'2" 35F |SW 215 | CW 208 | LW 140| UGW 115 ]
Created: Mon Oct 9 13:09:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75bdgu/successfully_completed_3_20_hour_fasts_in_the/
---
[removed]
[Help] my counselor wanted me to contact e.d. counselors in the area & talk to them and i haven't, any advice?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18| f | 22]
Created: Mon Oct 9 12:49:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75b8i1/my_counselor_wanted_me_to_contact_ed_counselors/
---
i see a counselor through my school. i discussed my disordered eating and body dysmorphia with her, which led to her voicing concern about my health and giving me a list of e.d. counselors and telling me to make an appointment to see them.
i haven't done it yet. i'm heavily restricting right now, trying to lose at least 5 more pounds, if not more. i'm just into a healthy weight range but want to be underweight again; i don't even feel like i need/warrant help anyways, because i'm not underweight. what should i tell her? i want to just lie and say that i made an appointment and then avoid talking about e.d. stuff for the rest of the appointment. i'm seeing her for free so at least i'm not wasting money, i was going to cancel the appointment today but there's a $25 fee if you do. #yikes @ my disordered habits lol cool
[Other] any baristas out there??
/u/sororityasian [5'4" | -5lbs | GW: 110lbs]
Created: Mon Oct 9 12:42:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75b6lq/any_baristas_out_there/
---
I've had a really great office job but it was definitely not ED friendly. All my coworkers stuffed their faces during lunches and as the youngest women in the office, all the women were all lazy and gave up years ago. I had to quit because it was becoming stressful mentally.
I'm working in a cute little shop where I get free drinks (yes to free green tea!!) and food (which is all labeled with the calorie count) and I get to wear whatever I want! It's much more of age appropriate job and at least I can keep myself physically busy.
If you're a barista is there anything I should look out for? Or any tips for drinks I should definitely try with low calorie counts??
[Help] Am I really going to be in and out of treatment forever?
/u/taiteisnotcool
Created: Mon Oct 9 12:31:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75b3py/am_i_really_going_to_be_in_and_out_of_treatment/
---
Early this year I was put inpatient when I was really sick (only 5’7 118 so not super underweight) then into a partial hospitalization program for 8 weeks, and then an intensive outpatient program for 7. Over the summer I relapsed and had to go back to iop at the end of August, now I’m currently bullshitting my way out of it by basically doing what feels like binging to get all the calories my dietician calls for. I’m absolutely miserable, I weigh around 128 pounds now and before I hadn’t been a bmi of 20 for a good year. I’m so worried that I’ll never reach my goal weight and will just be in and out of treatment programs for the rest of high school until I’m 18 and can do what I want.
My mantra right now
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 9 12:28:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75b2um/my_mantra_right_now/
---
https://i.redd.it/qgaoa0a3luqz.jpg
[Discussion] Anyone self harm to pay for eating?
/u/Slickspider
Created: Mon Oct 9 12:15:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75azh0/anyone_self_harm_to_pay_for_eating/
---
I have to burn myself or cut in order to eat above a certain amount...
Does this sound weird?
[Rant/Rave] Wedding Dress Issues
/u/then_she_said [5'7 | -50 | 27F | UGW: 130]
Created: Mon Oct 9 11:08:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75ai4q/wedding_dress_issues/
---
Hey all, I'm freaking the fuck out about my wedding dress and didn't really want to post in the main wedding sub. I chose a new dress in August at 180 lbs. It was a size 12 and a smidge tight, so I ordered a 14 thinking it could be taken in. I picked it up on Friday at 162 lbs and almost cried- how the f*ck do I look like I GAINED 20 lbs??? I'm so embarrassed, I don't even want to wear it. My wedding is on Saturday and thankfully I found a tailor to meet with on Wednesday who said they'll work with me on taking it in, but I feel like EVERYTHING about it is making me look like a whale. I have no waist, I look like a box, somehow even my chest area looks obese. The lace looks like shit, and David's Bridal even fucked up the bustle so it like drags on the ground.
Everyone is telling me I'm over-reacting, but I'm not at all and I know it. I've worked my ASS off to lose almost 60 lbs for this wedding and g dang it, I want it to SHOW. These are photos I'm going to have to look at for the rest of my life, and I fucking hate how I look in it right now.
[dress pics](https://imgur.com/a/dorbi)
plz help
[Rant/Rave] My grandpa is dying and I’m too upset to eat
/u/RemtheCat
Created: Mon Oct 9 10:59:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75afoq/my_grandpa_is_dying_and_im_too_upset_to_eat/
---
And the worst part of it is that me not eating is such a big deal in my mind. I feel guilty for being glad my appetite is gone.
[Other] upvote for pooping 1.4 lbs!!!
/u/nervous_nandu [5'4" | CW 128.4 | LW/GW 98| 19F]
Created: Mon Oct 9 10:10:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75a3ih/upvote_for_pooping_14_lbs/
---
[removed]
Looking forward to my delicious and filling lunch
/u/xxmishxx
Created: Mon Oct 9 10:06:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75a2km/looking_forward_to_my_delicious_and_filling_lunch/
---
https://i.redd.it/48borvwuvtqz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Family fell apart over Thanksgiving, heading for a binge today :)
/u/nottheexpert836
Created: Mon Oct 9 09:43:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/759whq/family_fell_apart_over_thanksgiving_heading_for_a/
---
My family went total white trash last night, had a huge fight that ended with death threats/threatening to call the cops on my 80 year old grandfather. My family is officially destroyed, y’all.
Can’t wait to go get a bag of smartfood white cheddar popcorn and eat it in bed, watching How to Get Away With Murder, but now I have to go to my boyfriend’s Thanksgiving today and act normal. I don’t know if I want to skip the meal or stuff my face.
[Discussion] Does anyone know where I can hide my fitbit while i'm working ?
/u/Arkhamgel [5'8| | 143 | 15 lbs | Male]
Created: Mon Oct 9 09:39:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/759vlq/does_anyone_know_where_i_can_hide_my_fitbit_while/
---
I recently got a job at mcD's, and you can't wear any jewelry or watches and stuff. the uniform doesn't have any pockets, and i'm kinda sad about not knowing how many calories I burn just running around the restaurant all day.
Anyone has any idea how to conceal a fitbit tracker ?
[Help] how accurate is MFP’s "calories burned" thing?
/u/7376549 [♂20/c60/g50/-5]
Created: Mon Oct 9 09:12:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/759oyo/how_accurate_is_mfps_calories_burned_thing/
---
so every day i walk about 4-5 miles & MFP awards me like 60-80 extra calories for that.
does anyone know if this is at all accurate? i don’t generally use the extra anyway, but my perception of how many calories is a lot is so warped i’m struggling to tell if that’s even reasonable lol. hopefully i’ll be able to afford a fitbit soon so i can get a more accurate measure 🤞
[Discussion] It’s not right if I’m not suffering
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Mon Oct 9 09:12:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/759ouo/its_not_right_if_im_not_suffering/
---
So this weekend was great! I rested and actually didn’t torture my body. I had a weird realization. It felt uncomfortable. I was at peace and content but part of me had this discomfort with it as if if I’m not suffering I’m not doing it right. I’ve actually been feeling better with high restriction than before and I think it’s because of consistently taking supplements but it makes me think I’m not doing it right and drives me to restrict more. Anyone else feel this way like your ED behaviors only feel legit if you’re not feeling good? Normal brain would accept feeling better but to my brain it’s like hmm maybe I can get by on 500 instead of 800 calories because 800 calories feels ok.
[Thinspo] Charlotte dalesio is such a good thinspo😩😍
/u/tillerbabesxoxo
Created: Mon Oct 9 09:12:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/759otf/charlotte_dalesio_is_such_a_good_thinspo/
---
https://i.redd.it/4lkz9ke5mtqz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] I don't know if I'm starting to binge
/u/scribbledoll [5'0'' | 133.4 |26 | IDK | Girl? Ish?]
Created: Mon Oct 9 08:54:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/759kfh/rant_i_dont_know_if_im_starting_to_binge/
---
Idk if i have an ED so i just am one big ?
Yesterday, i was doing well to eat under 1000 cals. Then i got a pack of 12 mini cupcakes. 83 cals each. I ate all of them. Then i went home, and ate like... 2 or 3 vegetarian chicken patty things.
I had about.... almost 2 thousand calories...
I feel bad. I was happy over finally beating the plateau I've been on for the past month. And i go and ruin it. And look at my stats!!! I'm so fat!! I can't afford to mess up!!! I don't really exercise, i go to school and i cant mess up anymore!!! I need to restrict more and more and eat less!! But that makes me freak out and eat more!! I gotta eat breakfast to focus in class,but that makes me hungrier during the day. I gotta be strong today. 1059 is my predicted calculations for today. It's a lot, but tonight is pizza night, so i gotta save cals for that.
Im so upset. Im so sorry.
[Rant/Rave] Good!
/u/scoutthlostgil
Created: Mon Oct 9 08:36:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/759g4h/good/
---
I spent the weekend at my girlfriends. I was freaking out cuz I couldn't restrict and we where eating food like pizza and pastries, super high in fat and sugar. I couldn't even weigh myself and I was so sure and I was gaining.
I was so glad I could go back to restricting but I was so scared to weigh myself cuz I was so so sure I'd gained, but I actually lost some weight! I'm so happy I almost cried! I'm getting so close to my goal weight and I know I'm going to be so happy when I get there.
[Discussion] DAE eat Gerber toddler snacks or is it just me?
/u/damnitimtoast [5'2"| CW 117.5lbs | BMI 21.3 | -16 lbs | GW 110 lbs | 23F]
Created: Mon Oct 9 08:05:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75994u/dae_eat_gerber_toddler_snacks_or_is_it_just_me/
---
http://imgur.com/e2xmFUX
[Rant/Rave] Tooth pain and... gain? Loss?
/u/amberinthewoods [5'2.5" | 114.4 lbs | 29F]
Created: Mon Oct 9 08:02:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7598fa/tooth_pain_and_gain_loss/
---
I'm older than I think a lot of you here (approaching 30, please kill me) and for a solid 10-15 years I was actively bulimic. I stopped purging about 2-3 years ago and have been restricting since, to try and salvage what was left of my teeth, and my sanity.
(Fun fact, when you *think* you'll be dead in like ten years so you give up on dental hygiene because "why does it matter anyway" and then you DON'T die, you're left with really fucked up teeth).
ANYWAY. A decade of constant puke and not enough dental care has left me with some gnarly teeth. One of said teeth, literally overnight, went from not hurting at all to having an abscess. And then the abscess grew and grew. The pain was unbearable, but they couldn't remove the tooth until I'd been on an antibiotic for a few days. I would lay in bed and cry, nothing helped, it got to the point where I was just xanax-ing the shit out of myself so I could sleep and not be in pain. I couldn't eat all week (I tried, so the antibiotic didn't make me sick, but at best I'd eat one of those applesauce cups in a day).
Tooth was pulled Friday morning, swelling is almost gone, and I'm doing a lot better.
Last Sunday, I had ballooned up to 118.6lbs. This morning, I weighed in at 114.4.
TL;DR - Got a tooth abscess, pain made me wish I was dead, but I lost like 4 pounds so it's not all that bad.
Still, though. Brush yo teeth
[Intro] I'm 31/6'2"/176 lbs/M, and yesterday I ate ~600 calories of food and drank ~1000 calories of alcohol.
/u/drunkorexic_old_man
Created: Mon Oct 9 07:45:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75950c/im_3162176_lbsm_and_yesterday_i_ate_600_calories/
---
I don't know how I even function anymore. Yesterday my dinner was pretty healthy, I ate salmon with quinoa and some steamed eggplant. Then I drank a beer and 8 shots of gin, and drunk-snacked on some pretzel sticks with mustard.
This has become "normal" for me now. I usually only eat one meal a day, and sometimes they're not as healthy as dinner last night. I binge on junkfood like pizza and burgers in response to the days I severely cut. My weight fluctuates between 175-180 lbs, and has been pretty stable the last year.
I get acid reflux after my daily liter of black coffee. My shits are usually a mess of formless "pulp," assuming I've actually eaten enough the previous few days to have one. I have no muscle definition to speak of because I don't exercise, ever. My skin is usually pretty dried out, though nails and hair look fine.
I take beta blockers and lipitor because my heart rate and blood pressure used to be in a very unhealthy range. Turns out, heavy alcohol consumption increases cholesterol and triglyceride levels, fun fact! I might be experiencing angina, or it could be shoulder pain, I don't really know. Oh, and because I get panic attacks now (alcohol can lead to increased anxiety), the beta blockers kinda help with that.
My low weight 3 years ago was 153 lbs (after losing 90 lbs, *yes 90...*) and I actually *want* to get back down to that, because then I'll fit in my size 29 jeans again... Depression, binge eating, and heavy drinking put me back up to 176 lbs.
I read [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/618oa0/it_seems_as_though_a_lot_of_us_suffer_from/) on here about how a lot of people on this sub have issues with ED and alcohol. After waking up feeling like literal death this morning, and then seeing a post on /r/1200isplenty (because, of course, a 6'2" male can live on 1200 calories/day) that lead me here, I just felt like confessing. Somehow seeing this all in writing feels a little better...
[Discussion] October 9th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 9 07:10:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/758y1k/october_9th_2017_question_of_the_day/
---
What do you want that’s new?
(Sorry, it’s a rephrase of the original page which was a sentence, not question. Reddit didn’t like the formatting. It implied not only a new object, but life experiences, etc.)
[Rant/Rave] Rant: So tired of nobody taking my ED seriously because I'm not severely underweight and almost dead.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 9 07:06:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/758x7v/rant_so_tired_of_nobody_taking_my_ed_seriously/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] took a polaroid of myself and realized how fat i am
/u/neutralmilkk_
Created: Mon Oct 9 06:57:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/758vgf/took_a_polaroid_of_myself_and_realized_how_fat_i/
---
[removed]
[Intro] I finally accepted that I have relapsed. And I'm ok with that.
/u/fatbishlosingweight [5'7 | CW 228lbs | GW 125lbs | LW 138lbs | 9.2lbs lost]
Created: Mon Oct 9 06:51:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/758udu/i_finally_accepted_that_i_have_relapsed_and_im_ok/
---
I'd like to write an intro post but I'm worried that someone will find this account.
I have a very long history with ED, especially extreme restricting.
I'm at about 600kcal consumed + 1200kcal exercise every day. Keto and intermittent fasting, which keeps the hunger away. In my previous restrictive phases I've just eaten like any other person with an ED. A lot of apples, veggies etc, and I would ALWAYS end up binging on something because the hunger was so extreme. With keto and intermittent fasting I barely feel hunger. I eat because I know my body needs the nutrients.
Anyway. Hi. :)
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! October 09, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Oct 9 06:14:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/758nqz/weekly_stats_update_october_09_2017/
---
This is the weekly status thread for October 09, 2017.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 09, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Oct 9 06:14:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/758nqc/daily_food_diary_october_09_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 09, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Intro] Hi!
/u/whatsupbuttercup5 [5' 3" | CW 109.8 | GW 95 | HW 124 | LW 98 | 25F]
Created: Mon Oct 9 06:14:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/758npx/hi/
---
[removed]
Sometimes you just feel so alone, food is the only thing there to comfort you.
/u/Uppity-Kitten [5'2" | CW: 72kg |BMI30| GW50kg | 20F]
Created: Mon Oct 9 06:03:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/758ls1/sometimes_you_just_feel_so_alone_food_is_the_only/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I'm doing a three day egg mono
/u/little-paws
Created: Mon Oct 9 05:44:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/758iem/im_doing_a_three_day_egg_mono/
---
[removed]
[Help] Can't get out of a binge
/u/carlems [5'2| CW: 101,8 | GW: 97 | -19]
Created: Mon Oct 9 05:05:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/758c6e/cant_get_out_of_a_binge/
---
This is my third day of binging. I was so close to my UGW, was supposed to reach it next week, but now it feels like I'm never going to be there. I hate myself and feel terrible and bloated as fuck but still I can't stop shoveling food to my mouth, even though I don't even like the things I'm consuming. I even skipped school today because I was so anxious about the weekend's binging but now I've made things even worse and my body looks awful. Please someone assure me it's going to be okay. I'll try tomorrow to get out of this for real, but I feel terribly anxious of going to school looking like this. I hate myself so much right now ugh I'm so scared
[Rant/Rave] Haha my eating disorder is taking everything good from my life :)
/u/TeaCupGirl [5'7" | 125.4 :c (-7.4) | LW 112 | GW 102 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 9 04:58:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/758b4w/haha_my_eating_disorder_is_taking_everything_good/
---
Just told my boss that I didn't want a promotion I was almost gaurenteed to receive because I'd been working the position for 2 weeks while they interviewed more people and the physical and mental stress it caused in combination with my eating disorder is making me want to die. Now I have to feel the same crushing, suffocating sense of failure I felt when I dropped out of college (also because of my eating disorder.)
I'm just so upset with myself and I can't truly explain why I can't take the job after convincing everyone I could do it and that I wanted it and I don't know who I can tell but you guys :(
Tl;dr, I'm still a failure
[Rant/Rave] I gained 7lbs in 4 days
/u/hmptrw
Created: Mon Oct 9 04:35:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7587y1/i_gained_7lbs_in_4_days/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I (sort of) survived my first music festival
/u/Afriendlyhumanbeen [5'6 | CW: 137 | BMI: 22 | GW: 120 | 22F]
Created: Mon Oct 9 04:14:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7584xn/i_sort_of_survived_my_first_music_festival/
---
So a week ago I posted [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73h1qt/im_going_to_my_first_music_festival_and_have_no/) because I was going to my first music festival and had no idea how I'd eat without ending up hating myself.
Anyway, you all were absolute angels providing me with all sorts of amazing advice and support! I ended up taking a whole bunch of fruits and protein bars which were great, although some of my food (hummus :( ) ended up not surviving the heat.
So thanks to all your support, I was pretty well set up when I arrived there and I was adamant to be cautious with what I ate. Unfortunately, drunk me is not very good at self control. I ate a lot, and totally gave in to all the snacks my friends offered me. I purged a few times, and the first night also got super drunk and ended up throwing up a lot... And to make myself feel better I just munched away at all the extra food, and I guess it did help because I felt a lot better.
I'm home now, and while I'm not feeling entirely gutted and full of hate, I'm pretty disappointed in my lack of self control. I'm 1.7 pounds heavier today than the day I left, which isn't necessarily terrible, but I really was hoping that with all the dancing and walking that I'd be down. :(
I also thought I'd post here because putting it out in the open will motivate me. I have a function on Friday night so I'm going to do my best to stay strong and diligent this week so I can look good there and make up for those damned 1.7 pounds.
Thanks again for the advice on my previous post! This is my second post now, but it feels so easy to post here and be showered with such amazing support, I think I'll soon start posting more regularly soon. xx
[Discussion] Are you glad alcohol has so many calories?
/u/midsummerbird
Created: Mon Oct 9 04:11:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7584l9/are_you_glad_alcohol_has_so_many_calories/
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Please flag as discussion, thank you
Sometimes I am glad that alcohol has so many calories. I think that is currently the only thing keeping me from becoming an alcoholic.
If there was a Chardonnay without calories I would probably consume like a bottle per day.
I get that there are some of you who would be happy to not have to save their calories for alcohol if they want to have a drink and who would be able to drink responsibly. I am afraid I could not handle the availability of zero calorie alcohol.
How do you feel about that?
[Help] Orthorexia?
/u/SvelteDreams [5'5" | 124lbs |BMI: 20.6 | -17lbs | 21F]
Created: Mon Oct 9 02:45:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/757t52/orthorexia/
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Anyone else here struggling with it too?
Its been so bad recently... I can barely find things to eat because I feel like they need to be vegan, raw, high protein, unprocessed all at once and anything that doesn't fit that criteria I can't eat. Lately I've just been eating less and less because I can't think of anything that feels safe to eat. Peas are ok. I'll eat those. And broth is great, though not vegan and so that leads me down that whole rabbit hole. I have so much work to do for university but I can't focus because I'm out of food and know I need to go to the grocery store but I feel so lost in what to eat and I feel crazy right now.
[Rant/Rave] Ate a whole pizza
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Mon Oct 9 02:20:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/757q4k/ate_a_whole_pizza/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Did anyone else "get hot" because I'd love to share experiences
/u/champu-petal [5'6" | CW: 112 | HW: 152 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 9 01:55:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/757mtk/did_anyone_else_get_hot_because_id_love_to_share/
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hey guys, this is *such* a weird thing to talk to people about because you inevitably sound so vain. but honestly, i just feel like a fat girl inside a skinny body, making observations about this new world, only here as a visitor. anyone else?
[Other] Doing something dumb(er than usual)
/u/lumosxnox [5'2, 122lbs, 22.31 BMI, GW 105lbs]
Created: Mon Oct 9 01:44:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/757lf5/doing_something_dumber_than_usual/
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I have a metric shit ton of allergies. Varying from "this hurts my tummy" & "this makes me shit my intestines out" to "oh hey, my throat is closing!" (I always have benedryl on me jic).
Two of my "this hurts my tummy" allergies are rice and bell peppers. It's something weird in my family where my grandmother, my mother and I cannot genuinely *digest* bell peppers. If we eat them on accident we taste them for days and (*warning: gross*) they come out the way they went in. Doesn't bother me because I usually really hate the flavor of bell peppers.
Rice makes me bloat for a few hours & makes my stomach look like I'm 7 months pregnant, my stomach also gets rock hard.
This week's meal prep? Some jambalaya rice I got from the dollar tree that contains bell peppers (an exception to my hatred of the flavor). Six servings at 240 each. I eat at the end of the day so no one will see my belly. I didn't even think about my rice intolerance (I always forget and am promptly reminded after I eat it) while I was buying the rice, I was just thinking *yassss jambalaya for dinner this week!*
On the bright side it tastes *delicious* and only cost me $2. I'm fully aware that this is dumb af to do but I get to eat tasty rice and stay under my cal goals for the day.
[Intro] Hey, I'm new.
/u/rottenbananapeel
Created: Mon Oct 9 00:37:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/757bve/hey_im_new/
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Hey guys, I stumbled onto this sub a while ago and I've been lurking every day, but I think it's time to fully join this community.
My name is Adam, I'm 23, 6'6" and 277 pounds. For years I was struggling with depression and binge eating, ballooning up to 420 pounds at my heaviest.
I found a good support network and slowly managed to beat depression, and in the past 6-7 months I've lost 143 pounds, hoping to lose another 100. I've been on a 1200 cal limit, but I average slightly above 1000.
I'm kinda going from one extreme to another, but this is what works for me rn.
Even just lurking has been very helpful, soI look forward to getting to know you guys, and actively participating in the discussions.
[Rant/Rave] That was quick?
/u/ohwellwhatever90 [166cm | 45 | 16.3 | -30 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 9 00:15:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7578jj/that_was_quick/
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I have literally nobody irl to share this information with so hey, why not share it amongst some people that get it.
I posted the other day about how I weighed myself for the first time in ages, saw I'd gained 2kg, freaked and started restricting again. Well I was planning to wait a week to weigh in but I figured I'd hop on today and check that it's going down.
So I step on, and it's 45. Off,on,off,on, still 45. So that's 2kg in like 4 days aka not physically possible.
But hey, I'll take it! I thought it would take 2 weeks to get back down to my 'normal' weight but apparently my body was just as eager as my brain to get rid of those 2kg. That, or my scale is fucked, which frankly I'm more inclined to believe.
Great, some would say, now you can eat at maintenance and chill!
Noooo of course not, now I'm like, hey that was easy, why not 43?
Sigh.
[Rant/Rave] Fucked up thing I learned at work about EDs:
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 8 23:50:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7574up/fucked_up_thing_i_learned_at_work_about_eds/
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[deleted]
[Other] I'm back? (Am I tho?)
/u/tacehtelle [5"7 | 123.5 | ?? :( | idk lbs :( | Female]
Created: Sun Oct 8 23:06:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/756y5h/im_back_am_i_tho/
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I left for like 3 weeks (lol whoops. doesen't sound like a lot but it felt like forever) and i've been meaning to come back on like every day but I just never did. Idk what to do rn, my self control is at an all time low. I threw away a bag of hot cheetos and literally a day later I went to the trash can, took it out and ATE IT AHAHAHAA. Ik its so gross but oh well. I just want a frieeeeeend.
[Rant/Rave] fake “ED”?
/u/coffeebean27
Created: Sun Oct 8 22:55:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/756wgx/fake_ed/
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I’ve been seeing a lot of people talking about how they don’t feel like they have an ED... I feel the same.
I don’t starve myself but I also try avoiding food. I will eat 2 meals and 1 snack. I keep my breakfast down so that I don’t pass out throughout the day (I’m always super busy). Then when I eat in the afternoon, I’ll purge it bc I hate the feeling of being full at night. I still count all the calories even if I throw it up.
I think I eat okay sized meals (~1200 cal daily). Usually ~500 cal each but I also workout/swim 1-2 hours a day, 4-5 days a week. I burn about ~300-500 cal every workout. I try to burn off as many calories as I can.
Idk to me this doesn’t feel like a disorder since I’m not starving myself but I know purging isn’t healthy. I think I’ve lost maybe 10-15 lbs in 2 months (haven’t yo-yoed yet, thankfully) which still isn’t what I want but I’ve gone from a size 30 to 27. I sometimes look at others stats and I think “do I really have something or am I a poser”. I weigh 150-ish last time I checked (maybe 6 months ago) which is no where near “underweight”.
[Rant/Rave] fuck. binged today (f/16 first post)
/u/seawardwaves [5'8" | cw~134.4 gw~115]
Created: Sun Oct 8 22:53:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/756w5g/fuck_binged_today_f16_first_post/
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i've been lurking for a while now and decided i want to actually post. i feel so shitty.
i binged today. i feel awful. i have no idea how many calories. but a lot.
my ed hasn't historically bothered me that much. i just eat a shit ton of food usually and feel shitty about myself afterwards. i weighed myself in september, was at 145, which is the highest i've ever been. i freaked out and decided i would eat less, which didn't last that long and i returned to just hating myself for being a shitty eater.
but a few nights ago i had a huge breakdown/panic attack thing and have since let this spiral into the obsession i knew it would inevitably be. i stopped eating. in those few days, seeing the number drop on the scale were some of the most satisfying moments of my life, in spite of how physically draining it was. it made me happy and i felt in control, as cliche as that is. the idea that i could actually be my goal weight is so fucking inspiring, in a way that just makes me neurotic and obsessive.
but today i went to a carnival with my bf. and there was no way to get around eating. and so i ate. and i ate. and then i ate more. probably at least 2500 calories.
i feel so invalid. how could i let myself do this? and at the same time i feel like a fuckup for letting this spiral so quickly.
so i'm not gonna eat again until wednesday morning. not gonna weigh myself until then either.
send positive vibes :( ugh i hate myself
[Discussion] Did anyone else have weird signs growing up and is confused why your parents never took you to the doctor ?
/u/Keiwii [5'2 | GW:110 | UGW:90 | -38lbs]
Created: Sun Oct 8 22:50:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/756vq2/did_anyone_else_have_weird_signs_growing_up_and/
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I remember as early as 5 years old refusing to eat, and this carried on until about 12 years old .
I used to cry , full on tears when my mom made me eat . It was a well known thing in the household , “ugh , we have to get *keiwi* to eat dinner tonight “ . I remember getting really angry at my mom for trying to make me eat , furiously chopping my food around , pleading to my brothers for them to eat my dinner for me , pretending to eat food then spitting it out and repeating this process and just being seen as “stubborn”. I don’t blame her , because when middle school started I began to gain weight (depression), perhaps she just saw it as a phase ?
Last bit is quite funny(not) , because now my depression is fueling the weight loss.
[Goal] Starting the ABC diet tomorrow
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 8 22:26:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/756rk6/starting_the_abc_diet_tomorrow/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] ED rules my life
/u/Glazed9000 [5'7' | 125 |]
Created: Sun Oct 8 22:16:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/756prp/ed_rules_my_life/
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I went to a party last night and 95% of the night was me thinking about my fat stomach, legs, arms, face etc. Constantly, looking at other girls and wondering how much they weighed. What were their measurements? How much do they eat? Am I fatter than her? Etc etc etc etc
What the fuck is wrong with me? I don't even know how or when to have a good time. Every moment has to be a comparison game. I'm so tired of this shit.
[Discussion] Any Dutch proEDers here?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: who knows? | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 8 21:34:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/756i9n/any_dutch_proeders_here/
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I know this is a weird question, but I'm headed out to Amsterdam at the end of the week and I'm a bit anxious about the food situation since it's harder to find safe foods/count calories when you're traveling versus when you're home and you know what you're okay with. So I guess my question is, any recommendations for safe foods? Ideally I could just stock up on groceries but I won't have a kitchen so I imagine I'll be eating out a fair bit. Other recommendations for things to see/stuff to do would be super welcome as well, although I know that's not what this sub is for.
[Goal] Super proud of myself today
/u/anashelby
Created: Sun Oct 8 21:11:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/756ejh/super_proud_of_myself_today/
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So today I had all three meals and ate a total of 500 calories! My goal has been 1,500 and I've come under all week without feeling hungry! There are things I could do better though, like more water and maybe one slice of turkey bacon in my pita instead of two but I'm happy with how I've been doing. I even ate more protein than carbs today
[Rant/Rave] 'eating' my life away
/u/abysmal404
Created: Sun Oct 8 21:00:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/756chk/eating_my_life_away/
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honestly, ever since i started caring about my weight/how i looked, i feel constantly stressed out?? it‘s like i can‘t stop thinking/comparing myself to others all the time. it‘s really a vicious cycle since i'm super concerned about my grades (which has been largely affected) yet all that's ever on my mind would be "how can i achieve my weight goal" or "what should i do/eat to lose weight" && worst of all, feeling guilty after a binge. that feeling literally sucks the life out of me, i instantly feel like my confidence disappeared and i just don't feel like doing anything anymore.
sn; i've gotten so stressed out to a point where i start developing an inability to sleep properly. most of the time, i just never felt like i ever had a good rest anymore. sometimes, i really hate the fact that i grew up because it sucked my life away. the once happy, naive, pure me.
[Rant/Rave] The guy I'm seeing has a scale at his new place😈
/u/coconutfi [5'9" | CW: 128 | GW: 116 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 8 20:19:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7564ul/the_guy_im_seeing_has_a_scale_at_his_new_place/
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I normally don't keep a scale and just have a general idea what my weight is by what my body looks like. But the guy I'm seeing just moved to a new place with a girl that has a bathroom scale and I'm so excited. It's going to be a game now that every time I go over I want to see a significant drop.
Speaking of significant drops.. I discovered it last night and weighed myself for the first time in forever and it was almost 131 lbs. I panicked and was sad but then I weighed myself in the morning and it was at 127. It's making me question the accuracy of this scale, but I hope it's right because I have been restricting/doing low carb the past few days so maybe it was a drop in water weight.
I just thought I would share my excitement
[Rant/Rave] I can't tell if I'm actually fat or if I just think I am?
/u/hungryhippie77
Created: Sun Oct 8 20:18:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7564r0/i_cant_tell_if_im_actually_fat_or_if_i_just_think/
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I'm 5'1" and 103 pounds on an average day. When I look in the mirror I feel like there is so much weight to lose in my face and stomach.
However, on a BMI chart I'm on the low end of healthy BMI (~18.5-19% depending on the scale). I don't understand how I can feel like I so badly need to lose weight yet see girls my height on body galleroes are a good 10-15 pounds more than me yet look so much thinner. I can't tell if I look in the mirror and see the truth. Am I overweight? I try to trust the BMI and tell myself I probably am just fine how I am. Then I worry though about how a BMI chart can be inaccurate and that I actually am chubby and I'm in fat denial because maybe the number in the scale is low simply because I have a high fat to muscle ratio and fat weighs less. I don't know which I am. Healthy or fat. Needing to restrict or not. It's driving me mad :( I don't want to restrict but I don't want to be overweight. I want to be healthy and look it too. That's all I want. Also I binge a lot so I feel like I could be fat from all this, but people insist I'm not fat, but I feel they're just being polite because it's rule that you don't tell a girl she is fat. Thoughts?
[Help] Pregnant with a very wanted pregnancy and am struggling like mad thinking about post partum weight. Moms of proed-- help?
/u/thisthingagain [5'3 | 133.6| 24 | 16 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 8 20:05:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7562cu/pregnant_with_a_very_wanted_pregnancy_and_am/
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I haven't been logging in here because ive been keeping myself on track during my pregnancy. I have had an ED for 16 years, but for the past 6 I've been really good about keeping myself healthy ans not giving in too much. I went to rehab 6 years ago, and although I began hanging around proed communities last year, I was still eating and not harming myself via restriction like I used to.
We had been TTC (trying to conceive) for a year and I was tailspinning a bit. Had a miscarriage and felt a need for control. Hence food issues arising again.
Anyway, my husband and I finally got lucky in July and conceived. Hooray! Celebration! I'm totally over the moon! I've been eating my daily recommended amount, am gaining just as I should, and am really doing everything right food-wise.
What I'm stressing about isn't even my body during pregnancy-- I think pregnant bodies are beautiful and I've already braced myself for the 25-30lbs I'll be gaining. As far as the pregnancy goes, I know I'm giving our little one exactly what she needs to grow big and strong. I have 0 issues with any of that. I'm super excited to be a mom, and (so far) the body changes haven't freaked me out.
However, I'm worried about a silly wedding I have to go to 2 months post partum. It'll be black tie in an area of the country that is extremely wealthy and full of gorgeous people-- the bride is a professional ballerina, as are most of her friends. I used to dance and am even more self conscious because pre pregnancy I was clocking in at 130 at 5'3. I should gain up to 155-160 over the coirse of the pregnancy. Big sigh. But I'm okay with it.
I'm not okay with the fact that I won't be slim and svelte by 8 weeks post partum. I'm not supppsed to work out because I've had some high-risk pregnancy issues, bleeding, etc. Doc's orders are nothing more than walking the dogs-- no elevated heart rate for the foreseeable future.
I'm only 14 weeks along. I have a lonnnng time to go. A lot of weight to gain. And no way to stay toned.
What do? I can't restrict, obviously, but I don't know how to accept that I'll stick out like a sore thumb at this wedding.
Help? Advice? Comfort?
Y'all are the best. Thanks in advance.
[Rant/Rave] Love it when people put me off of eating without meaning to.
/u/trying97 [CW 129 | GW 110]
Created: Sun Oct 8 20:05:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7562bc/love_it_when_people_put_me_off_of_eating_without/
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I had eaten earlier in the day and was feeling hungry, but was worried because I couldn't estimate the calorie count of some chips I had eaten, so for dinner I decided to skip the pasta my so was making and go for an apple. As I'm about to cut it, he can tell I'm worried, and says "if you're really worried about it we can just go for a run tomorrow." I know he didn't mean it, but it just made me feel like a fat failure who had to exercise to balance the massive amounts of food she was consuming, and I put the apple back and went to bed. I felt bad. I know he didn't mean to do it, but I appreciated the easy food avoidance.
[Rant/Rave] Recovery, or redefined?
/u/Chicolsey
Created: Sun Oct 8 19:58:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7560wt/recovery_or_redefined/
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I struggled with an eating disorder when I was in high school. It was an Ana/Mia/EDNOS combo deal that eventually ended up with me in a few treatment programs.
Flash forward 10 years. I'm in the best shape of my life. I have an (overall) amazing self image, and don't hate myself. It's a good feeling.
My roommate -- who I'm not on great terms with at the moment -- said she's concerned about me. It's so easy for me to overreact in this situation, but I have to take a step back and think... are my "healthy" behaviors disordered?
A little advice?
/u/yikeslmao12
Created: Sun Oct 8 19:26:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/755v0l/a_little_advice/
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[removed]
[Help] Question about EC stacking
/u/PM-ME-YOUR-AHEGAO [5'3 | UGW: 108 ]
Created: Sun Oct 8 19:25:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/755uw7/question_about_ec_stacking/
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I’m thinking about taking them to help with fasts, but only during fasting days. How much do you guys use and do you have to take it consistently for it to work?
[Intro] Newbie
/u/itsgoindownnn
Created: Sun Oct 8 18:55:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/755p86/newbie/
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Hey guys. Been lurking forever. Finally made an account for here. 2 years ago i lost 80lbs and was at my lowest weight ever. It was great but my mental health was shit. I tried to recover and i guess i mostly did. But i gained back almost 30lbs and im miserable. Im back at it now.
When i lost the 80lbs, it seemed so effortless. I was using ephedrine everyday and it just melted off and i got to a point where i was forgetting to eat and food actually seemed pretty repulsive. But i forced myself to eat "normally" and the cravings came back and now im eating like crazy. Im getting so upset about this and ive decided i need to lose the weight again.
Ephedrine and caffiene. It worked so well last time so thats my plan again.
Thanksgiving kicked my ass today. But tomorrow is a new day. No more binging!!
So conflicted about recovery
/u/HufflePuffPrid3 [4'11 | 78 | 15.8 | F |]
Created: Sun Oct 8 18:42:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/755moa/so_conflicted_about_recovery/
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[removed]
[Intro] Stressful days but this sub really helps
/u/TooCool4Shoe [5'1 | CW: 117 | BMI: 23.09 | Weight Lost 33lbs | F]
Created: Sun Oct 8 18:08:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/755frt/stressful_days_but_this_sub_really_helps/
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I've been having a very tough time with personal and ED things this week, this place really has been a positive distraction for me when I'm feeling overwhelmed. Today I happened to have a negative encounter with someone I used to know, I felt so fat and not worth anything. I came on here and it felt good to just read everyones stories and thoughts and relate... I feel less alone.
Thanks to the community for helping, it's so welcoming here, I feel judged by every person I come across lately so this has been a relief.
Safe foods?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 8 17:35:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7559eg/safe_foods/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I fucking HATE my mom [long, life story]
/u/water_77
Created: Sun Oct 8 17:19:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75567v/i_fucking_hate_my_mom_long_life_story/
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I know that my mom is one of my main causes of eating disorders. Why? I'll tell you.
- When I was little, she'd constantly tell me how beautiful I was since I was underweight. she fed me a diet of a few vegetables, beans, meat, and candy every day. I got maybe 50 or 75 % of what an average kid was supposed to eat at that age.
- when I was finally going through puberty (thanks for the late blooming mom! that super rich variety diet of veggies and beans really helped), I finally had the desire to eat and got addicted to cheese. I grew about half a foot very quickly before high school as a result.
- however I also grew in width. I went from 90 lbs to 130 lbs from gr 7 to 9 and it absolutely killed me. I still had a bmi of 21, but growing that fast triggered body dismorphia and I hated myself for years.
- then at this time she started with all the comments. "you eat so much shit that's bad for you" "dont eat any more, you'll get more fat than you already are" "look at your arms, they're too big" etc.
- that didn't help with my insecure mind. I developed a bad habit of binging, restricting, and exercising. this lasted all throughout high school. eventually I only ate veggies and binged on bread products in highschool.
- when I came into uni a year ago, I vowed to myself that I wanted to recover because my head couldn't take the constant stress. I was going away for uni so I had more control. but this backfired on me because I went from 135 to 160 in one year. I'm now at 160 lbs, at 170 cm. which is terrible. and i hate myself. maybe i needed my mom's hateful comments to keep losing weight. maybe i'm just a sadist.
- then this weekend for thanksgiving (im canadian), I'm visiting home for the first time in a long while. and guess what's back? yep, the comments. "you've gained so much weight" "you have to stop eating" "your stretch marks on your legs look so bad on you, you have to hide them, you can't go out in public like that" and on and on.
- she said another comment just a few minutes ago: "who knows what you ate today? you ate so much that your stomach is probably full of garbage today" and this just made me so mad and I feel extremely fat now.
- well guess what? thanks, mom. you've finally triggered my restriction once again. recovery? out the window. it's okay though, because I've never had a healthy relationship with food, even in my recovery attempt so why would I suddenly have one? I might as well just give in and restrict. I'm gonna restrict so much and I'm gonna lose so much weight by new years that when you see me, you're finally see what you've done to me, mom. you're gonna see how hurtful words are. you're gonna see how much damage you've given me. i'm gonna prove to you that I can get so thin that health doesn't matter - that only thinness matters - exactly what you've been teaching me the whole time.
I'm sorry guys I just needed to rant. I'm back on restriction again. no more binging. I'm 100% done. I hate my mom, I hate myself.
[Other] In lieu of chips
/u/AngelicZero [5'5.5"| fat | -39 | 115 | 8 Days BF]
Created: Sun Oct 8 17:07:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7553r1/in_lieu_of_chips/
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https://i.redd.it/bgkuuwjytoqz.jpg
[Other] Guys...I have the most embarrassing thing to tell you all (poop warning)
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 90ishlbs | BMI 16.46ish | GW: 82lbs | 20F]
Created: Sun Oct 8 16:52:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7550t5/guysi_have_the_most_embarrassing_thing_to_tell/
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So I took two dulcolax last night. Oh my lord.
I woke up and my stomach was rumbling. Thank God, I thought, yesterday's binge is going to leave me.
I ran to my bathroom and shut the door. Hell's floodgates opened. It was like Niagara Falls was coming out of me. And then it stopped.
I was so relieved. I went to flush and heard an awful noise. I looked down to see a nightmare.
I had destroyed this toilet. Utterly annihilated it. The worst part was that everything had collected into this massive heap.
I tried to flush. It didn't move. I flushed again. Nothing. I ended up flushing 12 times and it still wasn't all gone. So I bit the bullet and used something to shove it all towards the drain of the toilet. Mission success, it left.
BUT WAIT, there's more.
It is now 6:49 p.m as I'm writing this. I have to tell you all...I sharted.
This has never happened to me before. I am in utter disbelief and I am horrified.
I was sitting here, stomach still gurgling, when gas was begging to be released. So, I mean, I obliged. I realized I had to go to the bathroom so off I went.
To my devastation, my pants were covered in what looks like baby food.
I'm going to end this here. I just needed to share.
Don't abuse laxatives guys. Thank God I have my own bathroom...but jesus christ this could've been so much worse.
[Rant/Rave] Day five of a 'cleanse fast' and I was faced with McDonalds and passed!
/u/PineappleWhippet
Created: Sun Oct 8 16:12:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/754smx/day_five_of_a_cleanse_fast_and_i_was_faced_with/
---
Thanksgiving day rave!
Day 5 of a cleanse/ that's a nice excuse not to eat so it's really more of a fast...
Major victory for me. I had to get a ride from a friend to go downtown so I could pick up a carton of smokes. She had already been out for a family lunch but hated everything they brought her so she didn't eat it - so she stopped at McDonald's to grab a burger and was like, do you want anything ? Inside I'm like yeah - everything and a shake please! But I just ordered a meal for my teenager and then paid for everything cuz she drove me. The whole drive home smelled like hell to me!!!
So as soon as we got back I came straight up to my room and instead of crying or being upset like I usually would if I did something like this I feel fantastic. I won! I beat the salty fries and the shame isn't coming!
No binge no purge. In a few I'm gonna go smoke a blast with the neighbours and then I'm gonna take a sweet Lush bath and listen to a podcast! I beat Thanksgiving ( nobody around right now but me and the kid ) and I beat Rotten Ronald! All in one day! I hope this doesn't sound like bragging because honestly I've been on a binge for much longer than I care to admit and just this last week have I been able to get ahold of myself and stop the madness. I can't wait until this is a smaller victory - but for today it's a big deal.
I hope everyone is having a good day and if you aren't just know if I can do this you can do anything!
Vegan 100 cal Pumpkin Spice Bedtime Drink
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 8 15:52:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/754oho/vegan_100_cal_pumpkin_spice_bedtime_drink/
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http://pinterest.com/pin/44613852542175388/
[Help] Please help me avoid these leftovers...
/u/foreverthefatgirl [5'11 | CW: FAT | -20 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Oct 8 14:38:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7548ui/please_help_me_avoid_these_leftovers/
---
There's pork ribs, fried potatoes, okra, cake, and sweet potato biscuits in the kitchen. I managed to eat a 100 cal lunch and everyone commended my good efforts (I'm overweight and no one in my family even knows what a fucking calorie is), but now I'm home, it's dinner time, and all I want is ribs. I want to cry because I feel like this binge is so inevitable. Please help.
[Help] Need support
/u/pro_efficient
Created: Sun Oct 8 14:36:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7548du/need_support/
---
I haven't lost in months. At least I don't think. My problem is that I have trouble restricting. I feel like a fake anorexic, constantly having the need to restrict under 1200 but never being able to. The thing that's killing me is that I don't have a scale and I have no idea if I've actually lost any even though counting my consumption I shiuld have lost almost 3 pounds by now. Is it water, poop, period that ended yesterday, bloat from eating homemade cupcakes i don't know the calorie content of but eat anyway? No clue and I'm crying about it
[Discussion] Busy lives and ED
/u/littleloaudio [5'1" | CW 133 | GW 110 | -12 | 21f]
Created: Sun Oct 8 14:20:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7544q1/busy_lives_and_ed/
---
Hi friends, newbie here, with a long way to go.
I'm currently in grad school, working two jobs and running sound for a theatre production. The good thing is that I'm making money, the down side to it is that I am constantly surrounded by bad foods, all carbs and sugar and....I've already binged twice this week.
I'm so used to being this busy that I have no idea how I'm going to handle it when it stops. Boredom eating scares me!!! So, to those of you that are crazy busy in your lives, how do you deal? And what happens when the business goes away?
[Other] |Misc| Taking a break
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |104 | -116 | 20A]
Created: Sun Oct 8 14:08:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75422r/misc_taking_a_break/
---
I'm absolutely overwhelmed by life and upping my intake, so I won't be posting as much or updating to the daily food diary for an undetermined amount of time. I need to prioritize my mental health/wellness and not food prep/presentation. I was literally shaking and dizzy trying to even out a banana slice for a picture today instead of just y'know...eating it?
It's not that I think my absence will cause any sort of disturbance, I guess I just need to say it for accountabilities sake.
I don't know if I'm gonna track/probably will/ but it's all just too much for me right now.
Take care for now, wishing y'all good vibes👋🏻
[Rant/Rave] everything is falling apart
/u/squishykiss
Created: Sun Oct 8 13:50:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/753xwn/everything_is_falling_apart/
---
a one night binge turned into two entire days of eating everything and anything in sight. my stomach and gastric system feel so fucked up. im in so much pain, emotionally and physically. i know that my skin is going to break out so bad as a result of all of this. i'm such a fucking hopeless failure. i cant even remember what being hungry feels like, anymore. i don't know if i'll ever be skinny. I don't know if i'll ever have my shit together. i feel so alone.
[Help] i think i'm losing my period but i'm still fat
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 8 13:33:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/753tzz/i_think_im_losing_my_period_but_im_still_fat/
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[deleted]
[Intro] Hi
/u/Vixen_Lucina [Height 5'10"| CW 260 | GW: 145| -18 ibs|F]
Created: Sun Oct 8 13:27:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/753ss3/hi/
---
I wanted to introduce myself as Im looking for a community for support. My name is lucy and i am a transwoman. I was diagnosed with eating disorder NOS recently and I am trying to recover. I am seeing a therapist and a dietician. So far recovery has been a struggle and ive relapsed quite a bit. I hope being in recovery doesnt disqualify me from this community. I am also obese and i hope i still fit in. My self image is kinda horrible. I also have bpd and schizoaffective disorder
[Goal] Binge-Free October - Weekly Check-In
/u/FlabbyWhiteThighs [5'4"|118.2 lb|22F]
Created: Sun Oct 8 13:24:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/753s46/bingefree_october_weekly_checkin/
---
[Original post here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73lx9x/bingefree_october/) How was everyone’s week? What were your shortcomings, victories, realizations, any goals for this next week?
For me, sadly, it was not a week without bingeing. However, there were a few times when I was able to recognize an emotional trigger and then consciously make a decision not to eat my feelings. So yay progress!
I’ve seen quite a few posts this weekend of people feeling bad after a binge, or unable to break a binge cycle. Here are a few things that have helped me personally deal with bingeing. **Disclaimer: not a medical professional, I just know a lot about stuffing my face. So please take my advice with a grain of salt.**
* A binge can stop at any point. Saying “screw it, it doesn’t matter what I eat now” is not necessarily true. Think of it this way: if you got a flat tire, would you get out of the car and punch holes in the other three? If you dropped your phone and cracked the screen, would you smash it on the ground over and over because you might as well? You’ve made a mistake, but it’s not the end of the world; you still have time to fix it.
* Do not beat yourself up and associate food with negative emotions. Instead, tell yourself, “I enjoyed my treat, and now I’m done.” You are stronger and you have more self-control than you think. Drink a glass of water, brush your teeth, clean something. Now relax, regain control, forgive yourself, and move on.
* I’m not a purger, but I deal with the physical consequences of bingeing by a) drinking a ton of water afterwards and b) drinking a hot mug of tea and eating something fiber-y for breakfast, like oatmeal. Gets things moving every time. I also avoid the scale for a couple of days as to not get freaked out and triggered again by the food weight.
* Next time you have the urge to binge, sit in a quiet place. Let the thoughts come to you and wash over you like a wave. Don’t fight them, let them come and go, and soon it will be over. Distract yourself with some other activity, and go about the rest of your day feeling empowered and in control of your emotions.
Hope you all have an incredible week. Listen to your body and be kind to yourself!
[Intro] Tracking weight changes / intro post
/u/rebootfalcon [5'9" | CW: 158 lb | GW: 130 lb | -14 lb | F]
Created: Sun Oct 8 13:22:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/753rmt/tracking_weight_changes_intro_post/
---
Hi everyone, I'm fairly new to this subreddit but just reading all of your posts has been helping me a ton. Nobody in my life knows I've relapsed. My one friend that's recovering from anorexia is super religious now and she doesn't need the kind of support I can give her, so we've become a bit distant as I don't want to trigger a relapse for her, too.
I've been using My Fitness Pal to track calories and weight - what apps are you guys using? I've looked at a few but I don't like them to be too complex or I get annoyed with how long logging things takes and don't use it, so for now MFP is the best for me.
I was thinking about taking my measurements (bust, waist, hip, thigh, etc) and tracking those occasionally, too, but I didn't get my measurements at my highest weight. What types of measurements do you tend to find most valuable for feeling like you've made progress? Only weight? BMI?
I feel like I've made some good progress - I've lost 18 lbs so far - but I see the same thing I started with when I look in the mirror. I just want more tangible proof that something is changing!
(Not sure how to flair a post from mobile... Sorry!)
[Other] I adore this community in the bottom of my bitter insecure heart
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'3"|110| 25F]
Created: Sun Oct 8 13:10:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/753oxh/i_adore_this_community_in_the_bottom_of_my_bitter/
---
Thank you all
I realize people here are at different ages, stages of life, how they grew up, and have their own ED progression and their own demons to wrestle with
But in the end I like that I can come here and feel solidarity in that others can feel what I feel and I'm not really alone in this.
I'm insecure, jealous, and bitter but I know when to appreciate those who get the struggle lol.
[Other] I accidentally logged 18 instead of 118
/u/de1etemyse1f
Created: Sun Oct 8 13:00:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/753mlo/i_accidentally_logged_18_instead_of_118/
---
https://i.redd.it/evx1dtmrlnqz.png
[Rant/Rave] Everyone keeps congratulating me on my weight loss
/u/skinnysynth [5'3.25" | 115ish | 20.87 | -13 lbs | 🤖]
Created: Sun Oct 8 12:55:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/753lol/everyone_keeps_congratulating_me_on_my_weight_loss/
---
I used to weigh about 128 lbs at 5'3" and a quarter (the quarter matters, damn it!). Basically, a perfectly average and healthy BMI. But I thought I was a fucking lard ass, and just by my habits, I really was.
Apparently everyone else thought so, too. Since losing 13 lbs in 2 months, I've received nothing but praise, even from the people who knew I had an eating disorder before and had a BMI of 16. The reality is, underweight bodies are desirable. There's no way around it. They express control, elegance, and a separation from normal humanity that puts people in awe.
I don't know if I'm aiming for underweight. I'll probably end up there anyway, but my family has an osteo issues so hhehehehehe... I've been there before, maybe it's too late. Anyway, my first goal is to break a bmi of 20. But apparently there's a "new BMI" where my BMI is now 20.7 instead of 20.4 [cries in fat]. So I have a lot of fucking work to do.
Honestly, I'd like to work until people show concern instead of praise, which is weird, but right now I still see people everyday on the street who are *thinner*, who are *better* and that's *not okay*.
Anyway heeeeey I'm 20, 5'3.25", 115 lbs, and my legs jiggle when I walk.
[Rant/Rave] I just want to die
/u/PizzaInMyUrethra [5'5" | CW: INSANE | GW1: 150 | 24F]
Created: Sun Oct 8 12:41:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/753ihi/i_just_want_to_die/
---
I feel like I'd be better off dead. I just want to turn this feeling off.
You can't escape feeling disgusting, there's no relief. Sleep helps. I want to be in a coma.
I don't want to have a body, I hate existing. This is hell.
[Rant/Rave] I just want somebody to care.
/u/plantbasedpumpkin
Created: Sun Oct 8 12:07:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/753avp/i_just_want_somebody_to_care/
---
I don't want to say that I want people to worry about me, but I do? Being overweight and silently suffering with atypical anorexia - nobody suspects anything. And it's so lonely. I feel like nobody cares because I'm fat. It wouldn't matter if I ate nothing for 30 days because I should, I'm fat.
I went through residential, partial hospitalization, then intensive outpatient. All for BED. I was surrounded by anorexic people for such a long time, people fawning over them, checking on them. Their parents crying in group therapy. Their friends worried. There wasn't much attention on me, and I understand why. I wasn't a threat to myself, I couldn't pass out any second, I didn't refuse care.
But it was lonely. It was lonely and it made me feel like my eating disorder didn't matter.
When I recovered I weighed 297 pounds, and I decided to lose weight. Losing weight turned into restricting, restricting turned worse, and soon enough I'd lost 70 pounds in 4 months.
Eating is so hard. It's not fun. It's a chore. And all it brings me is guilt.
I don't leave my bedroom because I feel so fat. All my clothes are ill fitting due to the weight loss.
I'm sad.
I'm sad and I want recovery for myself. But later. Not now.
I want people to care. For once in my recovery I want there to be more focus on me than there is on my brother's football games.
My whole life the focus has been somewhere else. But nobody is paying attention to me.
Rightfully so.
Anorexics are skinny, why would anyone suspect anything?
Why would anyone worry?
I'm still fat, I could benefit from this.
Honestly I just want people to care. I just want someone to worry.
But I'll wait to ask. just 90 more pounds, then I'll ask.
[Rant/Rave] My sister is such a bitch
/u/carbslut
Created: Sun Oct 8 11:37:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7533z7/my_sister_is_such_a_bitch/
---
I'm on a trip with her right now. She thinks it's funny to constantly neg me. I'm sorry, but we're in our 30s. We used to tease each other like that when we were in our teens. Grow the fuck up. It's not cool anymore.
She also keeps making food comments. I'm pretty good about not obsessing and counting calories when on vacation, but she's making it impossible.
She basically didn't let me eat dinner on the first night because, "Aren't you full?" She made us go to a bar that allegedly had small plates, but actually didn't have any food at all. Then she came back to the hotel and ate all the candy in the mini bar! It's so ridiculous. I want to spend my calories on this region's food. Not on Snickers!
She woke me up this morning and told me to get her coffee. I told her to order room service. She rolled over and went back to sleep. So I just sat there awake, unable to return to sleep. Today I ordered a turkey cheese croissant and coffee for breakfast and she just got coffee and said "Aren't you full from yesterday?" Right as I was eating, she got a text from another friend who is here to go to breakfast. I said I'd pass. She then asked for a piece of my croissant. I told her to get her own at breakfast and then she ate mine anyway and said she was just going to have more coffee. Wtf.
She then went out to breakfast for over 2 hours. SURE she just had coffee that whole time.
She always wants to split food with me and then eats 80% of it. So I keep over-ordering and she keeps telling me how that's way too much food. Yes, I know it is, but I have to order enough that she can't finish her half, so I can eat mine.
We're going to a wedding today, so at least I'll get my own effing plate.
[Help] Does RAPID weight loss really cause more stretchmarks?
/u/neighborhood-yandere [5'3 | CW: 103lbs | UGW: 90lbs | F]
Created: Sun Oct 8 11:20:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/753031/does_rapid_weight_loss_really_cause_more/
---
I've planned on doing 500 calories a day to get to my weight goal faster, but I have new-ish implants, so I'm careful about getting stretchmarks there. I already have a few, probably because I went from 103 to 106 in a month, and now I'm back to 103.
What's your experience been? Does losing weight slowly (0.5-1 lb/week) make a difference in stretchmarks? I want to go from 103 to 88-95 lbs, but I really don't want to get stretchmarks on my boobs. I already have some on my inner upper thigh and my butt. ;__;
[Other] even if you don't fit the idea of what an eating disorder "looks" like; you're all still valid💗
/u/lunamoon1 [165.5cm | cw: 104lbs | lw: 93lbs |19f]
Created: Sun Oct 8 11:00:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/752vml/even_if_you_dont_fit_the_idea_of_what_an_eating/
---
https://imgur.com/a/RmLot
[Other] ED Hell
/u/throwaway002300 [25 | 5'3" | CW 109 | BMI 19.3| GW 103| HW 160]
Created: Sun Oct 8 10:59:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/752vgm/ed_hell/
---
So I’m basically in ED hell right now. If I hated the taste of food or didn’t have cravings I probably would have reached my GW weeks ago. Instead my b/p cycles are so out of control that I haven’t even been able to purge the past 2 days due to overdoing it. Nothing comes up, even though I’ve never had issues purging before. I’ve hit a plateau at 108 that seems to be lasting forever. Every day I see that same number on the scale I want to punch something. So now I’m restricting a lot harder than I normally do because purging isn’t an option and that number is going to move, dammit
[Discussion] October 8th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 8 10:50:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/752tdt/october_8th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What is your biggest dream?
[Rant/Rave] bugs me alot...
/u/abysmal404
Created: Sun Oct 8 10:45:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/752seu/bugs_me_alot/
---
does any of you feel like you're constantly being monitored whenever you head to the kitchen for food? i mean, i completely understand my family's actions for they sort of noticed my restriction towards food. however, what they are doing stresses me out alot and compels me to binge <completely worsening things for myself as i regret after... i just needed to get this off my chest
[Discussion] DAE have a chronic physical illness (diagnosed or undiagnosed) that contributes to your ED?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 8 10:24:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/752nit/dae_have_a_chronic_physical_illness_diagnosed_or/
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[deleted]
[Help] HELP! Birthday dinner tomorrow!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 8 10:13:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/752kyo/help_birthday_dinner_tomorrow/
---
[deleted]
[Tip] Need advice
/u/boohochix
Created: Sun Oct 8 09:20:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75297l/need_advice/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] DAE have their weight fluctuate a lot in one day
/u/fitisthegoal
Created: Sun Oct 8 09:18:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7528xo/dae_have_their_weight_fluctuate_a_lot_in_one_day/
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So when I wake up, use the bathroom and weigh I usually like seeing the scale because it's always moving down.
I know food and water can add weight but it's like the only time I'm not 1.5-2.5 pounds heavier is right when I wake up. It makes me spend all day upset especially if I was planning on actually eating close to 1200.
Sorry for being obnoxious just want to make sure maybe I'm not alone? Even one drink it seems my weight shoots up!!
[Discussion] What's that "thing" about your body that you dislike but won't be affected by weight loss? What's something that you really like?
/u/Giraffemakinfriends
Created: Sun Oct 8 08:50:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7522yr/whats_that_thing_about_your_body_that_you_dislike/
---
Here's mine!!
I really hate my feet. I have wide feet so I can never wear super cute shoes AND have them laced tight. I dream about having skinny feet and lacing them super tight so they look even thinner. Then speed running like a rabbit or a fairy. I have big clunky clown feet and I hate it.
Something I love... K give me a minute.. ...
My eyes. I have piercing blue eyes that stop people mid sentence when they talk with me.
I love all of you, stay safe ❤️
[Rant/Rave] I'm going on a liquid fast today to make up for yesterday
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 90ishlbs | BMI 16.46ish | GW: 82lbs | 20F]
Created: Sun Oct 8 08:37:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7520ha/im_going_on_a_liquid_fast_today_to_make_up_for/
---
Yesterday was such a failure of a day. I couldn't stop bingeing. I was at like 3000+ calories. So I took two laxatives around 7pm last night. Hopefully those kick in before I have to go to work in an hour. I weighed myself this morning and I'm up 2 fucking pounds from yesterday. Ugh.
Today, I'm liquid fasting. All I'm allowing myself to eat is my gummy vitamins because I need those. I'll be sticking to coffee, water, v8, and Powerade zero all day. I don't deserve food.
[Discussion] To the Canadians on this sub, who else is dreading thanksgiving?
/u/i_am_awful
Created: Sun Oct 8 08:09:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/751v97/to_the_canadians_on_this_sub_who_else_is_dreading/
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[Help] Why am I not losing weight?
/u/catbernetsauv
Created: Sun Oct 8 08:06:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/751uni/why_am_i_not_losing_weight/
---
[removed]
[Other] When you want to binge but don't have any binge foods
/u/_pancaste_ [5'6 | 127 | -21]
Created: Sun Oct 8 08:01:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/751tr2/when_you_want_to_binge_but_dont_have_any_binge/
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https://imgur.com/a/LLcOR
[Discussion] Someone asked how many months pregnant I am
/u/abbymakeup [5'1.5" | 126.6 | too high | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 8 07:29:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/751obv/someone_asked_how_many_months_pregnant_i_am/
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Posted a body check on tumblr. I always label my body checks as "no meanspo please" after an incident in the past. Luckily meanspo blogs have respected that tag and I appreciate it. Sadly, after a little over a month of no meanspo (yay!) someone decided to message me asking me how many months pregnant I am. And then afterwards say JK. ???? Like ????
honestly I'm not even upset because I find it fucking hilarious that someone would message me that and try to take it back, but also like I just feel bad that they clearly get a kick out of hurting other people.
[Rant/Rave] I've officially hit the 130s!!! 😱
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | 138.8 | 18.8 | ~62lbs | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Sun Oct 8 07:17:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/751mf5/ive_officially_hit_the_130s/
---
Shit, you guys. I'm on fucking cloud nine. I have never in my adult life weighed less than 140lbs. Here I am though. 138.8lbs this morning despite the MASSIVE QUANTITY OF SALTY FOOD I BINGED ON YESTERDAY (that I didn't log into my food diary here because Im embarassed).
I am so happy, though! I'm only 3.8lbs from my first goal weight. Can I do that in 9 days? Probably not, but I'm sure as shit gonna try!! Hello, motivation!
[Rant/Rave] I'm in love with a memory of myself
/u/nopenopenpoenope
Created: Sun Oct 8 07:11:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/751lgp/im_in_love_with_a_memory_of_myself/
---
Someone in the apartment above mine loves to cook. I know this because thanks to my kitchen's odd ventilation system, everything they cook wafts through the air ducts above my stove. It's always a guessing game. Eggs one day, soup the next. Creamy pesto sauce. Today I walked in and smelled gingerbread. Sweet aroma of autumn. My heart aches.
Autumn makes me yearn for my childhood. I think about the things my mother used to make. Macaroni and cheese, pumpkin bread, chocolate chip cookies and the most luxurious deserts I can imagine. Eating multiple bowls of cereal or a slice of cake way bigger than I needed and not feeling guilt because, hey, I wanted it. As an adult, these feelings confuse me. Sometimes I think I want cake, or pumpkin bread, or other delicious sweets, because I think they'll make me feel good. Then I binge on them and hate myself. Or even if I have just a little, I feel only guilty and devastatingly sad. What is it I really hate? What is it that I really want? In such moments, I think all I want is the comfort and security of not caring. I don't love sweets -- I love a memory of myself. It's like returning to your childhood home and expecting everything to feel welcoming or right, but no... what's that new building? Who are those people? What happened to my favorite swing? It's the same thing with food. I expect that a cookie will make me feel like I used to, and I crave that feeling, but the reality is that I've lost it and I can never have it back.
It makes me sad. I smell my neighbor's gingerbread and it reminds me of the lingering scent of my own lost memory. Gone, gone. I realize the taste won't do anything for me. It's still the same, but I'm not. Not ever. So I settle for smells because I can feel without being, think without my own presence in the moment. Smells like home, tastes like ambivalence. How devastating to confront what I can never be.
[Rant/Rave] Awesome low-carb noodles for those in the UK!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 8 06:53:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/751ik8/awesome_lowcarb_noodles_for_those_in_the_uk/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Keeping food down hurts.
/u/princesss-dae
Created: Sun Oct 8 06:34:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/751fpu/keeping_food_down_hurts/
---
Okay, so I purged basically everything I ate this week. I didn't let anything stay down for more than two hours. Well, I just ate some breakfast and almost instantly I felt like I was gonna throw up. It physically hurt my stomach, like a giant cramp. I have no idea why, seeing as it wasn't food that used to cause issues. Also, it wasn't that much food, just a small breakfast (I'm currently staying in a hotel, so it's their complimentary breakfast) Has this ever happened to anyone else after purging a lot?
[Discussion] DAE have this issue?
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 155 | GW:118 | -11 | F24]
Created: Sun Oct 8 06:32:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/751fim/dae_have_this_issue/
---
My safe foods are any foods for which 1 serving is 100kcal or less. A meal doesn't have to be, but the components do. Ex. 1 mahi mahi filet (100kcal), tabatchnik veggie soup pouch (80kcal), salad with lite honey mustard (70kcal), and on and on.
I *can* eat higher calorie food (mostly quest bars and my protein powder), but it definitely causes anxiety to crack that 100kcal limit.
[Discussion] DAE audit friends’ refrigerators?
/u/cybermua
Created: Sun Oct 8 06:30:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/751f5i/dae_audit_friends_refrigerators/
---
Like to check if they’re secretly on a diet lol. On the flip side I also keep extra carbs around so people don’t think I’m eliminating food groups.
[Tip] |Tip/Recipe|Apparently it's grocery haul week, so here's my 60cal hot chocolate recipe
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |104 | -116 | 20A]
Created: Sun Oct 8 06:18:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/751dfl/tiprecipeapparently_its_grocery_haul_week_so/
---
Now I know that Swiss miss and some other brands have 25-45 diet hot chocolate mixes, and I've tried a few of them. I find that the mix never dissolves right and I'm left sorely disappointed holding a cup of steaming sweetener flavored water with a pile of chocolate sludge at the bottom. This rendition, however, was creamy and decadent; totally worth the effort/calories imo.
You could mix in some cinnamon, pumpkin spice, peppermint extract, coffee, a little cayenne, or maybe even use white chocolate chips and matcha powder to make some interesting flavor combinations too :)
Ingredients ~
240ml unsweetened cashew milk(25)
5g(1Tbsp) unsweetened cocoa powder(10)
5g walden farms maple syrup(0) / can sub with extra sweetener,SF maple syrup or honey if you don't have this
1.3g(.25tsp)vanilla extract(5)
1g stevia
4g dark chocolate chips(20)
Pinch of sea salt
~
Mix together salt, cocoa powder, and stevia.
Pour a small amount of your milk into a pot, mix in maple syrup and vanilla extract, and set over a low flame. You don't want it to bubble or boil, you just want it to get steamy enough to melt your chocolate.
Add in chocolate chips, whisking constantly so that they don't stick to the bottom or sides. Once they are melted into the milk, dump your cocoa mixture in a fine mesh strainer and tap lightly over the pot, continuing to stir periodically, until all the dry mix is evenly distributed throughout the milk and there are no clumps.
Add the rest of the milk into the pot, still stirring, and heat through until fragrant and steaming. Pour into your favorite mug, maybe treat yourself to some whipped cream on top, and enjoy sipping on some liquid love. 💞☕️💞
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your latest grocery+food hauls!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Oct 8 06:10:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/751cco/sunday_share_your_latest_groceryfood_hauls/
---
Feel welcome to post pics of your latest and greatest hauls~! Consider adding commentary on:
* what country you're in
* what store, site, market or Co-op you shopped at
* how much you spent or any sweet deals you found
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 08, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Oct 8 06:10:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/751cbh/daily_food_diary_october_08_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 08, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] Just annoyed
/u/shortyaten
Created: Sun Oct 8 05:16:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/751551/just_annoyed/
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I'm 23 & 5'0 and 116 lbs currently, goal weight is to be the weight I once was when I was 20 which is 93 lbs. I'm Asian so I feel as an Asian American woman it's harder especially in the Asian community with weight. My mother tells me I'm fat and cracks jokes about my weight now every time I come home and tells me little diet secrets to help me "shape up". I hate how she is because I use to not eat as a child mind you it just because I was picky. She made up a notation I wasn't getting my grades up because "I didn't eat at home" so congrats guess who had to get an ed talk with the school nurse at 3rd grade. I hate my bf mom she's Asian too all she does is tell me. Let's loose the weight together with all these stupid senna teas she and I have been buying. I hate all of this because these are women I'm suppose to look up to but all they do is leave me with negative jabs to my body.
[Rant/Rave] Trying to give myself food poisoning because I'm scared otherwise I'll binge and gain weight
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 8 03:53:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/750vaq/trying_to_give_myself_food_poisoning_because_im/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] DAE have high calorie weeks?
/u/Amoosedcow
Created: Sun Oct 8 03:44:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/750ub6/dae_have_high_calorie_weeks/
---
Hey all!
Not really a rant but idk what else to flair it as.
I've been clocking in about 1,200 Cals for the past week or so and I'm really bummed out by it. I know I'll still lose weight with it but I miss eating about 600-700 cals.
I'm hoping if I fast tomorrow I'll be able to kick back into my usual. I can't help but feel super upset with myself about eating so much lately.
[Rant/Rave] Should I stay or should I go?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 8 01:47:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/750hh3/should_i_stay_or_should_i_go/
---
[deleted]
[Help] Whole Foods Help
/u/vhenah [5'7 |CW: too much | 20.95 | -86.4 | MOO]
Created: Sun Oct 8 01:12:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/750df6/whole_foods_help/
---
(I swear I searched before posting this pls luv me)
So I have $40, no car, and I have to feed myself until like Friday maybe? I have a Whole Foods nearby and while I know that's the worst place to go to save money, I'm out of food and tomorrow's/today's Sunday and I live in a state that's down to clown with blue laws so it's the only thing open.
Anyway.
What are your go to picks from Whole Foods?
Right now I wanna pick up some pre-spiralized zucchini and some other produce like peppers or broccoli idk. Maybe some meat? Idk. Ideas are welcome, you are all amazing okbai.
[Discussion] So who's a nurse here?
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'3"|110| 25F]
Created: Sat Oct 7 23:28:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/75006w/so_whos_a_nurse_here/
---
Genuinely curious and cuz I feel alone and it's kinda weighing me down.
[Help] [Help] Is there anyone in this sub that can please talk to me?
/u/desaparecida [5'0" | CW:109lb | BMI: 20.0 | 25F]
Created: Sat Oct 7 23:24:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74zzpl/help_is_there_anyone_in_this_sub_that_can_please/
---
I'm always coming and going from this sub, whenever something really good o really bad is happening. Today is the first time that a lot of stuff is happening, and I feel like I lost all control whatsoever over my life. Today is my birthday, I turn 25yo. I thought that by this point my ED may be well past behind me, but it has come back today stronger than ever.
I know that at this time there aren't many active users, but if there is a soul out there with some experience in life that could offer me some words of advice and encouragement I'd really appreciate it.
[Rant/Rave] Actually proud of myself???
/u/missdreavuss
Created: Sat Oct 7 22:48:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74zufo/actually_proud_of_myself/
---
The title is true! I’m actually feeling mega proud of myself. Today two of my coworkers pointed out that I lost a lot of weight. (Ive lost about 10IBS in the last 2ish months from heavy restricting)
I’ve always had a pretty lean shape to begin with, but I finally wore tighter clothes today so it was pretty noticeable that I’m getting smaller. One of the girls at my job literally said “did you get even skinnier? You were already so tiny!” Which literally made my day, especially since she’s thin as well. One of my friends also took some Snapchat videos of me, and when I watched them I was so amazed at how small I looked!
I love when I can really see my progress and restriction paying off. It makes me motivated to restrict even more and keep going until I’m where I want to be!
[Thinspo] I haven't seen much retro thinspo here, so I decided to fix that!
/u/fuckincaillou [5'6 | 130 | BMI: 21.89 | -20lb]
Created: Sat Oct 7 22:13:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74zp4p/i_havent_seen_much_retro_thinspo_here_so_i/
---
https://imgur.com/a/y2SsC
[Rant/Rave] I’m such a screw up
/u/ohwellolivia
Created: Sat Oct 7 21:57:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74zmfr/im_such_a_screw_up/
---
The past three days have been ANOTHER Jewish holiday. I did so so well, considering how much food there was. I managed to stick almost exclusively to vegetables. I walked a crap ton. Tonight, I was home alone. And I fucked up.
There’re foods I haven’t had in months because I know if I start, I can’t stop. Pretzels, jelly beans, french fries, pasta...
I ate so much pasta.
I was so hungry, and I knew even making it was a mistake. But I made half a box and I ate half a box. And then I purged it. I can’t stop crying. I’m such a failure. I have three days to lose three pounds. I’m rambling. None of this makes sense. But nothing makes sense for me right now.
I was doing so well.
Why am I like this?
[Rant/Rave] I don't understand why I'm not losing and I'm so frustrated
/u/fog-bone [5'2" |CW 156 | BMI 28.6|UGW 105| -13 | Female]
Created: Sat Oct 7 20:39:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74z9q0/i_dont_understand_why_im_not_losing_and_im_so/
---
I've been making a lot of progress throughout September following my schedule, which is Fast Wednesday, Eat Matienence on Saturday, and stay under 700 calories every other day of the week.
(Oh, and on Matienence day I exercise so that my net is 750.)
I lost 13 lbs in September alone. Nowe I'm stalling out, between 154 and 156 lbs. I haven't changed my habits. I've been sticking to the same schedule. But now I'm not even dropping 1 lb a week where before I was dropping several.
My math checks out. My BMR should be 1525 calories per day. I should be dropping almost 2 lbs a week but I'm not. My weight loss has suddenly just halted. What gives??
Anyone else have this experience? It's messing me up so bad emotionally and it's really pushing me towards a binge. I'm constantly fighting the urge to eat a mountain of food because "what's the point" if I'm not losing and it's not working. Obviously I'll regret it and I know it but UGH
[Rant/Rave] "I like you better this way"
/u/catharticoblivion [5'6" | CW: 158 | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 7 20:18:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74z6cg/i_like_you_better_this_way/
---
Holy shit okay so I just came from a party with family friends who havent seen me for a few months and ive lost almost 30lbs since then and all the moms saw me and started talking about how much weight ive lost and one of them goes "you look so good, I like you better this way, keep it up" and god fucking damn who the fuck says that to someone? It pissed me off so much and they were really surprised and asking me how I did it so I just told them the cafeteria food at my college sucks (which it does) and so I just eat vegetables (about 8 calories worth of cucumbers haha kms).
They all kept joking like "oh hope youre not starving yourself haha" but uh yeah I pretty much am oh well.
Had to stop fasting, was made to eat , starting again in a hour
/u/Inxthewolf
Created: Sat Oct 7 19:46:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74z0x8/had_to_stop_fasting_was_made_to_eat_starting/
---
https://i.redd.it/03lneifhhiqz.jpg
[Help] Self control
/u/urbbymuva
Created: Sat Oct 7 19:21:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74ywi0/self_control/
---
I’m having a hard time with my self control. I’m eating everything and anything within in sight and it’s driving me crazy. I haven’t been restricting, more like binging everyday and I can’t seem to stop. It’s like I eat nothing or everything. I don’t know how to stop his cycle.
[Intro] Hi...again
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 7 19:01:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74yt1p/hiagain/
---
So I've been active in this subreddit before, I think on two different accounts (which I've since deleted). I don't really know what to say, except that I'm back!! I'm a student, I study pretty far from home and I tend to have very disordered eating habits. It gets worse when I'm alone at uni. At the end of August I was working out more and losing weight somewhat healthily but then I got into a binge cycle. Two weeks ago I tried to make myself throw up, which I haven't done since April. No one knows about these things. People say that I'm a confident person. Haha I guess I'm good at faking it. This is my final year and there's so much stress with my tough classes, internship, and applying for grad school and I don't know why I waste hours to fucking binge when I have so many things to do. But I digress, hi everybody. I'd say it's nice to be back but it's not really all that nice. However, I do really appreciate this sub and the community here. Thanks for existing, I guess.
[Other] Canadian thanksgiving tomorrow
/u/Qazmlp92 [5'3 | 119lbs | 21.1 | GW: bones | F | ]
Created: Sat Oct 7 18:44:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74yput/canadian_thanksgiving_tomorrow/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Well that was a low point
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Sat Oct 7 18:37:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74yob4/well_that_was_a_low_point/
---
I passed a girl on the street that I went to high school with 10 years ago.
In high school she was nice, but boring with frumpy clothes and huge frizzy hair.
Now, she's insanely hot. Really tight body in her yoga outfit and hair was styled in a 'oh I just rolled out of bed hehe' kind of way.
Here I am. Heavier than I was in high school and walking around town trying to find a place that sells this specific brand of milk I shouldn't drink because it has a lax effect.
She was walking around like a model and I've been constipated all week.
[Help] What is wrong with me?
/u/letmebelittle [5'7" | CW: 125 lbs | BMI: 19.6 | WL: 84 lbs | Female]
Created: Sat Oct 7 18:17:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74ykfz/what_is_wrong_with_me/
---
I've been binge eating for the past almost two weeks. Every day I start out with it in my mind that I'll do better and get back on track, but by the time the afternoon comes around I feel the need to eat everything in sight. It's gotten so bad that I've started purging for the first time ever this week. I don't want this to become a habit.
Does anybody have any advice on how to get out of this funk? Please, if you guys have any ideas I'm open to trying anything. I hate myself for getting like this. I don't know what to do.
[Rant/Rave] I binged for like...a week??
/u/Get-Closer [5'2 | 129 | 23.8 | -30 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 7 18:12:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74yjjq/i_binged_for_likea_week/
---
I have been having a really tough time restricting lately (mostly cause of my boyfriend giving me free food all the time). I've been binging for a loooong while, and I haven't weighed myself in weeks cause I've been scared of what I would see. Well today, after eating and drinking all day, I decided to just do it. I weighed myself.
Usually when I weigh myself it's in there morning before eating anything, but like I said today it was after eating all day. Somehow I've lost three pounds?!?! That's not even counting the food weight damn. How does this happen omg.
You could say it's a new approach
/u/xxmishxx
Created: Sat Oct 7 18:07:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74yi9q/you_could_say_its_a_new_approach/
---
https://i.redd.it/674sctmpzhqz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] drinking when you haven't eaten for 3 days
/u/skytastrophe
Created: Sat Oct 7 17:53:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74yfrc/drinking_when_you_havent_eaten_for_3_days/
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i'm drinking a beer right now, and thinking about taking 1-2 shots of vodka. i'm on meds that intensify the effect of alcohol too. has anyone fasted this long and haven't gotten sick from drinking? i don't exactly feel sick but i feel weak from not eating. but i can't bring myself too. and i just want to escape everything for a bit.
[Tip] Lo-cal ice cream PSA
/u/toadally-grody [174.5cm / 47.3 / 15.2 / maintaining / F]
Created: Sat Oct 7 17:51:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74yf9p/local_ice_cream_psa/
---
Hi,
I'm in the UK and used to get really jealous hearing about low cal US ice creams. I know we have OPPO over here but I've only tried the chocolate and was a little disappointed.
PLUS I heard about Arctic Zero that had way fewer calories. Sent on a work trip to the states armed with a company credit card I was keen to try this expensive shit.
And it was shit. 150 cal for a pint, but then I read this article: https://www.reddit.com/r/1200isplenty/comments/3ee3go/second_arctic_zero_class_action_lawsuit_filed/
and thought, ok, maybe it has 250 but still that's pretty good. It tasted like shit. Well, like a frozen puddle. It was marginally better when I sprinkled sweetener on it but yeah, glad it wasn't my own money.
Then I thought about HALO TOP. it had way better reviews, but I thought I'd read around to find the best of the numerous flavours (discounting anything over 300cal per pint) and went with Oatmeal Cookie.
It. Was. Fucking. Divine.
I split the pint over three days. I found it gave me quite bad gas but did really fill me up (all the protein?). II am trying to slowly gain weight (while still not going mental) so it was quite unpleasant to push myself to eat a meal later in the day if I had it at lunch, but I guess for some people that would be very appealing.
tl/dr:
-don't be jealous of Arctic Zero if you can't get it.
-Halo Top IS all it's cracked up to be (would like to hear reviews of other flavours)
-Don't always trust the labels (scary I know).
-OPPO is meh.
-Perfect World Pecan is OKish too.
[Other] I don't know how I feel about this
/u/coconutfi [5'9" | CW: 128 | GW: 116 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 7 17:23:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74y9p6/i_dont_know_how_i_feel_about_this/
---
https://i.redd.it/qbt4jpewrhqz.jpg
[Discussion] I'm not obsessed with food. I'm just medicating with it.
/u/shadowmachines
Created: Sat Oct 7 17:16:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74y8a0/im_not_obsessed_with_food_im_just_medicating_with/
---
I see so many people on here talking about how they are obsessed with food, and how they wish they had a "normal" relationship to food. I just want to point out that like 99% of eating disorder stuff has nothing to do with food. In fact, I would even argue that most of the time, it doesn't have *that* much to do with body image either.
This may be an unpopular opinion, but I want to open a discussion about it. From all my years in therapy, I finally figured out that my disordered eating has EVERYTHING to do with my shitty childhood, past sexual trauma, my drug-addict alcoholic mother, and an ED was born out of maladaptive coping mechanisms.
As someone who is trying to get better, I am not working on my relationship with food at all. I am working with a therapist on sorting out all that other shit. And I am working on all my maladaptive coping mechanisms that make my life miserable such as: procrastination, self-loathing, self-attack, comparing myself to others, perfectionism and OCD etc. It is THIS work that is helping me get better and is helping my disordered eating habits.
I just want to bring this up because it makes me sad to see people hating on themselves for being so food-obsessed. It's like we think we are horrible disgusting fat-minded monsters for thinking about food all the time, but usually it's really our brain's way of coping with some other shit that we are trying to avoid (or PMS). I saw a list of "things to do instead of eating" and one of the things was to "feel your feelings." Easier said than done, but so true. I've caught myself going autopilot, headed for the gas station with a $20 bill, and caught myself and said "what am I trying not to feel right now?" It's always something horrible. Maybe totally unbearable. That's why I'm trying to self-medicate and numb myself with ice cream sandwiches and nachos. Well, on occasion, I've been able to sit and feel that stupid shitty fucking feeling, and it makes me cry and scream and want to tear my hair out but OH MY GOD do I feel better afterwards. It is SO SCARY to feel feelings, especially the scariest darkest ones. Obviously this isn't a fix-all for what to do when you feel a binge coming on, but I think the fact that it does work some times is very telling as to what is going on in the brain.
Anyway, we aren't freaks for obsessing over food. We are hardly different from people who turn to alcohol, marijuana, gambling, sex, video games, reality television, reddit, tumblr, facebook, extreme sports (adrenaline junkies are fucked up too!) etc. Everyone has a self-medicating method. It's only human. I am not less-than because my self-medication is food.
[Help] Am I gross?
/u/toadally-grody [174.5cm / 47.3 / 15.2 / maintaining / F]
Created: Sat Oct 7 16:30:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74xyuh/am_i_gross/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Today was really bad guys
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 90ishlbs | BMI 16.46ish | GW: 82lbs | 20F]
Created: Sat Oct 7 16:26:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74xxxv/today_was_really_bad_guys/
---
I knew when I woke up that it'd be a bad day. After I had to have a lot of food for lunch, I purged it. Everything spiralled from there.
instead of being a rational minded human being about it, I ended up just going on a huge binge...makes sense.
I had like 5 cookies (300), all covered in peanut butter (300), cereal with coconut milk (180), toast (40) and a lean cusine (260). Not to mention all the other shit I had to eat today.
I actually want to die. I can't even go purge this binge because I know I'd probably faint or have a heart attack.
I'm having my boyfriend bring me to Walgreen's and I'm buying laxatives. I know he's going to freak. I don't even care. I know they don't make you lose real weight but I want all of this shit, literally and figuratively, out of my system as soon as possible.
[Help] Toenail?????
/u/onlysaysNOO [5'3 | CW ??| BMI 15.?|F]
Created: Sat Oct 7 16:13:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74xv4n/toenail/
---
I have no idea if this is actually ED related or not but I suspect it is because, well, everything that goes wrong pretty much is.
A little while ago I noticed my big toenails were getting huge horizontal grooves in them, which is normal with malnutrition and stuff, and has happened before. I wasn't too worried. But then my left toenail started dying off at the root. Like the whole moon started getting white and lifting, but not thickening like it would if it was fungal. And it's just stopped growing. I removed the white parts in case it was fungus and cleaned it thoroughly with isopropyl and stuff and am trying to take proper care, but it just won't grow back. And more of it is just falling off but not in a crumbly way, just like.... not growing anymore and dying off. My right one has started doing the same about a week ago, but I didn't remove it.
I've been heavily restricting and purging a lot more than usual and honestly I'm kinda freaked. I also have poor as shit blood flow before ever restricting and it's kinda worse now since I do restrict and it's getting cold out. My fingernails are a bit ridged too but not that bad.
If anyone knows what the hells going on with my damn toes lemme know.
[Rant/Rave] Just another ED rant
/u/schoolgirlqt [5'6.5" |118lbs| BMI:18.8 |21F]
Created: Sat Oct 7 15:42:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74xopy/just_another_ed_rant/
---
1. I hate my intestines sooo much. I never feel "light and airy and empty" while restricting unless I've taken laxatives that actually worked and I'm on a stimulant. Otherwise I feel heavy and angry with intense cravings that don't even satisfy me if I eat them. FML
2. Trying to intuitively eat less and be normal and skinny at the same time (rough spot in life) but I think I gained (maybe-er probably- from the drinking ughhh). either that or i'm backed up. PISSED
3. I hate my body shape and square hips so much and no matter how much weight i lose i will never get rid of them
4. why did keto work for me only 1 out of the 3 times i did it??? fuck you keto. i'm intuitively eating now and all i want are bananas
5. other people: "oh you have ibs? probably caused by over eating"
"probably cause by under eating"
" " " by carbs
" " " by fats
" " " meat
" " " too much fiber
" " " not enough fiber
" " "eat honey
" " " no sugar!!!!
" " " too much stress
" " " not enough effort
" just take laxatives?
"no honey don't take laxatives they won't actually HEAL you"
Oh my fucking god the only solution is to kill myself!!!!! (hyperbole but still!!!!!)
[Rant/Rave] Total Failure
/u/xox_morbid
Created: Sat Oct 7 15:23:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74xkyt/total_failure/
---
I think the fact that I know that I have two thanksgivings coming up isn’t helping (Sunday & Monday). But today, I’ve just been binging and purging.
I went to an event and forgot to bring food. I got a taco salad. Went and purged in the bathroom.
Stopped at Tims and got 2 donuts. Then went to McDonald’s and got a medium fry and 2 apple pies. Scarfed those down and then purged in McDonald’s bathroom until someone came in.
All I can think about is how I’ll never get skinny and I’m a failure.
No one knows about my ED. No one really notices when you’re still obese.
Just needed to rant 😭
[Other] Found at Walmart. Only 20 calories per package!!
/u/achildrenofbodomfan
Created: Sat Oct 7 15:22:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74xktb/found_at_walmart_only_20_calories_per_package/
---
https://i.redd.it/lmtiioec6hqz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Embarrassed to buy/carry groceries inside in front of other people.
/u/social_anx_throwaway
Created: Sat Oct 7 15:19:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74xk9m/embarrassed_to_buycarry_groceries_inside_in_front/
---
I live in a condo development and for some reason, we have really nosy neighbors that are always sitting outside on the steps and spying on us. I'm embarrassed by the amount of food I have to buy to support my BP'ing habit. I hate standing in line at the supermarket because I feel like I hold up the line, even though I know it's in my head. It's gotten to the point where I downloaded the shoprite app and am gonna start doing my food shoppings online and just picking them up. I know there's people out there who don't have enough and it makes me feel really embarrassed every time I have to lug my several bags of groceries inside. I can tell they're judging me. I've gotten to the point where I pull over and put the food into big garbage bags and bring it inside so the neighbors can't see what it is. It sounds so stupid and it makes me feel gross and ashamed. I just wish I had more privacy. I don't think they have much of a life and I don't like to feel like I'm entertainment for people. Maybe it's in my head though.
[Rant/Rave] Goal weight :(
/u/posyposer [5’4 | 21.5 | CW: 125 | GW: 115]
Created: Sat Oct 7 13:51:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74x1t5/goal_weight/
---
I know this is a really familiar feeling but I reached my goal weight and I still just feel so fat. The only thing I realized is that I still have ten more lbs to lose :/
I was so anxious and panicky and feeling so low yesterday but it was my best friend’s birthday and I wanted to be there for her, but I saw her boyfriend pick her up and twirl her around and she was just so tiny and pretty and perfect and I felt like the biggest boxiest cow in the world :( I feel so selfish for letting my jealousy get in the way of my happiness for her but I can’t help hating myself so much 😖
I hope I like myself more with the next ten lbs.
Water fasting
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 7 13:36:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74wyo8/water_fasting/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I've been going through my clothes...
/u/Funktionierende [25F | 5'2" | CW131.2lbs | SW185lbs | GW100lbs | BMI24]
Created: Sat Oct 7 13:30:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74wxhy/ive_been_going_through_my_clothes/
---
I don't have a lot of clothes, but my drawers are full and my (very small) closet is crowded, and I really only wear like 4 things, so I decided to go through everything and try it all on so I can start getting rid of unnecessary clutter. I've been doing this with all my stuff to tidy up my life, but kept putting off going through my clothes.
My jeans. All of them. All of my jeans (except the one pair I wear often) are too big. Even the ones I had set aside "for when I'm small enough to wear them". I put about half of my shirts in the Donate bin as well, and threw away 3/4 of my underwear.
I'm pretty excited to go buy some new clothes for fall/winter.
I keep eating too much
/u/TurnTechAstraeus
Created: Sat Oct 7 13:15:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74wu6z/i_keep_eating_too_much/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I had to eat at a restaurant with my mom
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 90ishlbs | BMI 16.46ish | GW: 82lbs | 20F]
Created: Sat Oct 7 13:02:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74wr97/i_had_to_eat_at_a_restaurant_with_my_mom/
---
So I had to talk to my mom about something and I said we should get coffee together. She told me to pick out a restaurant, and I panicked and said the first thing that came to mind- a nice vegan/vegetarian place. I totally didn't account for the fact that NOTHING HAS CALORIE INFO.
At the restaurant, I literally just picked what I always used to get there. Un-fucking-fortunately, I forgot how massive the sandwich is. It consists of soy chicken, cheese, buffalo sauce, a homemade huge serving of a baguette or something, etc.
So I took off the top slice of bread (I think it was like half a sub length) and ate it open face. Picked off a lot of the cheese.
Then my mom made me eat a huge chocolate cupcake.
So when I got back to my dorm I tried to purge it all. Complete disaster. The chicken got stuck in my throat like 3 times and the buffalo sauce was burning my insides. I don't think I got any of the damn cupcake up.
I feel like trash. My throat hurts, I'm shaky, I'm tired, and I am so scared that now I'll absorb all these calories. Uggghhhhhhh.
Just had to vent somewhere where people will understand. Sorry for the rant.
One day done but low blood had to make me eat a small snack 😔
/u/Inxthewolf
Created: Sat Oct 7 13:01:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74wr7f/one_day_done_but_low_blood_had_to_make_me_eat_a/
---
https://i.redd.it/2i2vybfahgqz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I can keep nothing down
/u/IDidNotTakeTheBrows
Created: Sat Oct 7 12:49:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74wojb/i_can_keep_nothing_down/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] [Rant/Rave] So, I just received the first comment on my weight loss that actually made me believe that my loss is finally visible.
/u/feelslike5ever [5'6" | CW 122.2 lb. | GW 110? lb. | 18F]
Created: Sat Oct 7 12:44:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74wnd2/rantrave_so_i_just_received_the_first_comment_on/
---
And that's because it wasn't actually supposed to be a compliment.
So I've been working with one of my uncles a lot lately, and he knows just that I've been trying to lose weight. But I hadn't seen him in a few weeks, and as soon as I sat down at the table, he said, "How much weight have you lost? You look like you've lost a lot." And I really appreciated that, because he's not the kind of person to compliment you if he doesn't actually mean it, so of course I said, "Thank you." And then, his face kind of changed and he said, "No, not in a good way, like you've lost too much, you're looking a little scrawny." And of course I couldn't say thank you to that, because most people wouldn't take kindly to being called scrawny, but it just made my day so much.
But I mean, I'm still in the healthy BMI range (which nobody wants to hear when they decide for themselves that you're too thin), and I know it's just that people's ideas of "big" and "too skinny" are so incredibly skewed in this country, but it still felt good. I'm not quite sure on how I feel about the fact that that comment was the worst things he could have said to me if he thought that would make me want to stop losing. That's the only compliment I've ever gotten that I actually believed, because it was supposed to be the opposite of a compliment. That really makes me wonder just how skewed my self body image is if people think I'm getting too skinny, but I still want to just chop off my hips and thighs and be done with it. Do y'all get that? What are some comments that (unintendedly) egg you on that probably definitely shouldn't?
Well I won a contest today....
/u/hlaiie
Created: Sat Oct 7 11:59:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74wdlr/well_i_won_a_contest_today/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] COKE ZERO SUGAR
/u/fitisthegoal
Created: Sat Oct 7 11:40:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74w9dt/coke_zero_sugar/
---
so for all my r/proed soda lovers who don't mind coke zero but have a true love of full sugar soda this is the bomb!!
I switched from dr pepper/coke to diet dr pepper/coke zero and I like them a lot but now I can't stand the sugary taste of full sodas but I'm not always satisfied with coke zero.
They came out with one that answered all my prayers (even tho the fam in Mx has been telling me about it we just got it here!!)
[Discussion] Oh my god a book! update
/u/thinkthinlythrowaway [5'1.5 on a good day | CW 129.0 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 7 11:39:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74w93y/oh_my_god_a_book_update/
---
!!!! Okay after so much positivity I've decided to follow through!
What I'm asking for is a short story or chapter wise from any point. If you want to submit a bunch you can. I'm going to try and get as much as I can without this turning into a lord of the rings novel.
You can submit with your name or not it doesn't matter.
But I would like to know the age you're talking about.
I think it would be interesting to get the age you are now, the age when it started, and I would love to hear from people who have been in recovery or are in recovery now.
I know there are lots of stories of people who have recovered and there are lots of stories of people who start eating disorders. But my hope is that with this book people can see themselves in someone else and know they aren't alone? I find it so great when I read your guys posts or proed posts and see someone being how I am and I want to do that to people who maybe don't want to be online or can't be.
Anyways! I've set up an email that you can send to and depending on how many I get and how this goes will do the time line. I don't want to limit anyone so for now there's no dead line or anything.
The email is: lettersofmyed@gmail.com
And we'll go from there! Thank you everyone for liking my idea. And I'll keep everyone updated.
Also I saw someone say other forms of art and holy shit I didn't think of that! So yes! If you want to submit other things like poetry or drawing (Itll need a book cover right?) then yes yes yes
I am so excited
[Rant/Rave] At a loss because I'm not losing
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: who knows? | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 7 11:33:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74w7ss/at_a_loss_because_im_not_losing/
---
I feel like I make this post every other week but I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. I woke up this morning to weigh and the scale is up for no good reason, as usual. I tried measuring to see if those had gone down. No change. I cried and cried. I ate 400 calories yesterday and burned off 977 plus my BMR. My average for this week has been 327 calories a day. I take Bronkaid twice a day, Orlistat with each meal. I keep a low carb, high fat diet so that the Orlistat works better. I drink water and tea and keep my sodium to a minimum. I should be losing. But nothing is happening. And nothing has happened since this entire mess started four years ago. And I just don't know what to do with myself anymore. Seven pounds is not a lot. People over on r/keto lose twice that in a week. I had to unfollow because their progress was too triggering for me, who can't even keep off half a pound. Today, my boyfriend decided we should go to the beach and then get ramen. I don't want to see my body or eat anything, I just want to hide here in my bed until something, anything, forces my weight to change. I've been waiting for a whoosh that will never come for all these years and I'm just so, so tired of it.
[Rant/Rave] Found a motivation to fast
/u/silkangels [168 cm | CW:54 kg | GW:45 kg]
Created: Sat Oct 7 10:55:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74vzop/found_a_motivation_to_fast/
---
...and it's having exactly 6€ in my bank account. This is basically a dream come true - I only have a bottle of unsweetened almond milk, some sweetener, coffee, tea and a few packets of nuts in my dorm room. I won't get more money until Friday (possibly next Monday) and I need the 6€ to buy bus tickets, which means no sugar-free drinks for me either - a pure water fast! I kind of feel like a bad person for being so excited about this when there are people starving but yeah. I've been unhappy about my weight for too long and I'm finally doing something about it! (like not budgeting properly and spending money on stupid shit so I can fast!!!)
Oh and I have about three weeks to lose as much weight as possible for a family visit - even the timing is great lol.
[Goal] Smaller size!
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 64.6 kg | BMI: 24 | -18.9 kg | F]
Created: Sat Oct 7 10:25:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74vtdw/smaller_size/
---
So overall I'm still not happy with myself and I haven't reached my dream size yet BUT when I went out to buy a new pullover today I didn't have to search for XL, nope! I can finally say I'm back to size M. I think it has been 7 or 8 years now that I last fit into a size Medium and it sure made me smile a little. (I have to mention I live in Germany, sizes may differ a few inches from American ones)
I hope you guys have something that makes you smile and feel a little better too, thought I'd share the little positivity I have.
[Discussion] October 7th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 7 09:39:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74vjld/october_7th_2017_question_of_the_day/
---
Are you happy with your choices today?
[Help] Ideal deficit?
/u/ohwellwhatever90 [166cm | 45 | 16.3 | -30 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 7 09:26:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74vh0y/ideal_deficit/
---
[removed]
[Other] I wasn't called back from any sororities today. Half of me never wants to eat again and the other half wants to find comfort in food.
/u/ilikecocoakrispies [5'1 | CW: 135 | GW:100 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 7 08:49:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74v9mg/i_wasnt_called_back_from_any_sororities_today/
---
This past summer I gained 15 pounds and I just feel so fat and disgusting. This past spring I dipped below 120 for the first time in 5 years but it just all came back. Any advice/tips on not bingeing please!!! I'm just feeling so down right now :(
Edit: I made an attempt to not binge by making a super healthy smoothie but it backfired and it was just the gateway to a huge binge. ugh.
[Discussion] A book? With you all? Maybe? I have ideas!
/u/thinkthinlythrowaway [5'1.5 on a good day | CW 129.0 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 7 07:35:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74uvwx/a_book_with_you_all_maybe_i_have_ideas/
---
So I'm thinking of making a book maybe?? Like a collection of stories and experiences of my ed. Idk I've been reading wasted and there are parts where I read and I'm glad I'm not alone.
So I was wondering if I got enough people who would want to... would you guys be willing to share some of your story? I'd make it like memoirs of our ed. And maybe find a way (like kindle) to make it a thing so other people can know they aren't alone??
This is just a half assed thought. But it could be like you email me a chapter of your ed and then I collect everyone and make a thing. I'll sketch it solidly if enough people are interested...
I asked the people of peach and they seemed interested so I decided to come to the large crowd and see what you think?
(Also id like to point out if this did actually become a thing any money I got would go to NEDA or another eating disorder recovery charity)
*UPDATE* I made an update post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74w93y/oh_my_god_a_book_update/
[Intro] Lol hi
/u/mary_joan [Height 5'7 | CW 107| BMI | Weight Lost | Gender f]
Created: Sat Oct 7 07:11:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74us0s/lol_hi/
---
I was here around this time last year positing. Left and a recovered. Now I'm back below 110 pounds. It's fine, recovery wasn't for me I guess.
[Rant/Rave] horrible binge
/u/squishykiss
Created: Sat Oct 7 07:02:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74uqep/horrible_binge/
---
last night, i binged on approximately 30 oreos and 3 to 5 servings of potato chips. i fucking hate myself, now. i hate myself so fucking much. i feel the biggest fucking failure, and now my skin's probably gonna break out from all the fucking grease and sugar and preservatives i shoved down my throat. i'm a fucking landwhale with no self control and i just don't want to be alive, right now.
i don't know how to bounce back from this.
[Rant/Rave] I just binged on 10,000 calories.
/u/SaturnsPrincess
Created: Sat Oct 7 06:48:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74uocw/i_just_binged_on_10000_calories/
---
Hi everyone. I wasn't in control. I just shovelled bread after bread and wasn't even thinking.
I didn't want to sit here and cry alone so I decided to share with you this mistake I made just now. My throat hurts a lot from trying to get it up but it won't come up.
Has anyone had similar feelings? This is horrible.
[Rant/Rave] Shoutout to my boyfriend. You’re probably reading this actually :)
/u/skeletonne18
Created: Sat Oct 7 06:43:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74unmv/shoutout_to_my_boyfriend_youre_probably_reading/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] DAE when binging do it during the day?
/u/the_dumb_astronaut
Created: Sat Oct 7 06:14:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74uj8p/dae_when_binging_do_it_during_the_day/
---
I always see binging described as a person that eats a really large amount of food in a short period of time, but I feel even shittier knowing that my binges are from the very minute I wake up (i start thinking about food inmediately) to when I go to bed (feeling like shit for eating a ton)
Man, I wish my binges were for an hour or two, but binging during the day (constantly eating food and when not thinking about it) makes it way worse. I can perfertly eat +5000 kcal
I am a failure even for having a eating disorder.
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! October 07, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Oct 7 06:11:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74uimp/stupid_questions_saturday_october_07_2017/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for October 07, 2017.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 07, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Oct 7 06:09:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74uifk/daily_food_diary_october_07_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 07, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Other] 48 hr fasting
/u/Inxthewolf
Created: Sat Oct 7 06:02:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74uh89/48_hr_fasting/
---
https://i.redd.it/d1vf9s1feeqz.jpg
[Discussion] How long were you fasting before fainting?
/u/the_dumb_astronaut
Created: Sat Oct 7 05:52:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74ufs1/how_long_were_you_fasting_before_fainting/
---
[removed]
[Tip] note to self;
/u/abysmal404
Created: Sat Oct 7 05:46:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74ueu0/note_to_self/
---
— never ever give in to temptations
— eat slowly, relax
— drink plenty of plain water or green tea
— eat fruits! (apples)
— incoporate more greens, less carbs
— cut down on meat intake
— be diligent when it comes to exercising
— focus on studying instead
— sleep early
— brush your teeth frequently
— chew on mints
— constantly browse on thinspo pages
* it all boils down to how much do you want it *
i want you to stop bingeing, stop crying, stop envying. if you want it, you've gotta work for it.
[Discussion] Issues with periods and intro
/u/ms-2 [165 | 45.6 kg | 16.75 | 8 kg | F]
Created: Sat Oct 7 05:28:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74ucdl/issues_with_periods_and_intro/
---
Quick intro because I haven't actually made a post here before, but I've been lurking for over a year. So hi!!
So my period came about a week early which was surprising but not worrying. However, it's been about two weeks since it finished and I started bleeding again pretty heavily. I'm pretty sure it's to do with my restriction, but is there any exact reason for it and is there anything I can do to prevent it?
[Rant/Rave] My list of foods I can’t buy because I’ll binge is becoming unmanageable
/u/Snowbae
Created: Sat Oct 7 05:21:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74ubh0/my_list_of_foods_i_cant_buy_because_ill_binge_is/
---
I literally can’t buy a fucking loaf of bread without eating most of the loaf in one sitting and then purging it 5 mins later. Also apparently I’m now the same with porridge and pasta and noodles and veggie burgers and sausages and honey and bananas and I can’t work out how to even manage to buy food and eat like a normal person. The only food I can apparently deal with normally are soups and salads and most fruit/veg. It’s just so frustrating that I clearly have 0 willpower and feel like I have nobody to talk to about it
How Can I Do It
/u/_JustANobody_
Created: Sat Oct 7 05:21:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74ubfd/how_can_i_do_it/
---
[removed]
[Help] Stupid hair questions
/u/SherwoodGreen [180+ cm |70 :( (LW: 57)| Male | 16 years old]
Created: Sat Oct 7 05:20:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74ubcl/stupid_hair_questions/
---
Over the past few months, I've gone from 57 to 70+ kg due to binging ;'(. My main excuse for this is because I want my hair to grow fast (I got my head shaved completely and I hate it), and that I don't want to lose hair.
Will restricting make my hair grow slower, and how do you avoid hairloss?
[Intro] Hello! Oh boy... Here we go!
/u/shhimacat
Created: Sat Oct 7 05:18:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74ub0x/hello_oh_boy_here_we_go/
---
Hello everyone! This is an intro, but also houses what I feel like is a stupid question so I guess we get a double whammy today!
I've been a long time lurker, but I made this profile just so I could actually finally say something. I've suffered with an ED since I can remember and I just find it so hard to feel... Any particular way towards it. I was a tiny little girl and then by the time I turned 10 I was a barrel chested, giant 5'9"(with the stretch marks to prove it) and 180lbs. No thyroid problems they could find way back when, just a giant child. So they sent me to a dietician instead. Cue years of overeating, restriction, and general nutrition chaos, with anything from 3000cal per day diet(she thought I was sending my body into "starvation mode", what it did was make me vomit) to 1200cal, because that's the min she felt okay with giving me, although I often fell short of that as well. Either way I didn't lose or gain more than 15lbs.
So here I am, almost 22, now weighing a whopping 228, and having gained 12 of those in the last two months. Due to my SO injuring themselves, I now live with someone else and him, and to help with rent I do groceries and make meals. I'm a good cook, and an excellent Baker, and with not much to do all day I end up making baked goods/extravagant dinners and eating my feelings which is a disgusting amount of cals. I feel pressured to eat at every meal even if I don't want to, and it looks ridiculous for me to make a nice large meal for them and then not eat. I feel like I'm going to vomit all of the time. The normal consumption I have when I live by myself is in the 800 range and is very regimented.
Everytime I try to plan actual functional meals for myself all the voices start shouting in my head-more food otherwise your body will store it all!- and all of the studies I've read about certain foods opening up fat storage cells and others not... I'm just so big, and I'll always be big, but I want to get to 150. But then I'm afraid it won't be good enough.
I guess... What I'm asking is futile, because I didn't have the answer then so I won't have it until I get healthcare again because, well, you guys aren't medical professionals. Why can't I lose weight, even when I am restricted? I exercise as much as I can, and I'm just tired of feeling like a pile of circles. Does anyone else share this same experience?
[Rant/Rave] Up at 3am because I don't know how to do math or maybe my body doesn't.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sat Oct 7 05:08:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74u9q3/up_at_3am_because_i_dont_know_how_to_do_math_or/
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On mobile flair as rant rave or discussion?
I have gone to the gym the last few days to try and work off binging from earlier in the week. I am talking serious working out like 2 to 4 hours "burning" 2000 to 3000 calories according to machines with my stats plugged in. I know they can't be super accurate so I always round down when I do try to figure out things.
My fitbit didn't recording any of the time I was in the gym yesterday but did for at least walking involved for work and came to about 3400. According to the gym machines I didn't about 1700 or 1800 and when I came home from work I stress ate about 1500 in leftovers from work I shouldn't have taken home.
3400 + 1700 = 5100 - 1500 = 3600
I know it's all estimates but I should have almost lost a pound between work and working out but I am scared my body is just going to hold onto the food I did eat and store it as fat because I'm pretty sure my body hates me and doesn't obey the laws of physics.
End of rant. I hate my body and now can't take any days off from the gym so I'm waking up at 6am to go work out until I almost pass out again then work an 8 hour shift on my feet into a hot kitchen because my body is a fucking bastard...
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] Annoyed because yes I can lift things
/u/awayawaydown [c: 16.9 | g: 16.3]
Created: Sat Oct 7 04:55:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74u82r/annoyed_because_yes_i_can_lift_things/
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I work in a job that requires a fair amount of physical lifting, reaching, carrying, etc.
I have always been thin-ish and always have been stronger than I look. People are always surprised and often say so.
Some of my male coworkers frequently try to get in my way and be all "let me get this its too heavy for you."
I know for some folks here that's very ~goals~ or whatever, but I just find it annoying. It's my job. The thing I'm lifting isn't even heavy and I have already lifted it a dozen times today. Kindly fuck off with your sexist assumptions.
Maybe it annoys me so much because some of these dudes are so condescending and arrogant. Like, don't be so pushy, dude. When I say I got it, don't argue. If I thought it was too heavy for me, I would have asked for help. I'm no martyr.
[Discussion] DAE get embarrassed when a thinner person looks at you?
/u/AnxiousShallot
Created: Sat Oct 7 03:51:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74u0fx/dae_get_embarrassed_when_a_thinner_person_looks/
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Whenever a person within my age range who is thinner and more attractive than me even looks at me I get horribly embarrassed and flustered and just want to die. I feel like I'm not worthy of even being looked at by somebody prettier. I feel like I'm completely beyond help. I mean that's very disordered is it?
[Other] Avoided a binge for the first time in my life!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 7 02:17:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74tpnl/avoided_a_binge_for_the_first_time_in_my_life/
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[deleted]
[Intro] I'm not like you guys, but here's my story.
/u/princesss-dae
Created: Sat Oct 7 01:28:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74tjzo/im_not_like_you_guys_but_heres_my_story/
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So I'm not really like everyone here. I'm not thin, and that's not just my body image. I am overweight, for the time being. I've struggled with depression and anxiety for a long time now. Close deaths make it worse. Basically I am NOT good at dealing with things, and I turned to eating. So, I had one form of ED, but not the kind anyone expects. I ate all the time, way too much, constantly. It was gross. I was gross. I'm fat, and disgusting, and I needed to change. I tried eating healthy. I tried all the "right" things, but none of that ever worked. I lost hope. Till one weekend, I ate so much I made myself sick. I realized that may be the thing that works for me. So, I started purging before I went to sleep. I'll basically eat one full meal, then purge before bed, or at work after I eat. I'm actually seeing progress. Finally, something that's helping. I used to be thin, and dammit, I will be again. I honestly don't think my "bad" thoughts will go away till I can stand to look at myself in the mirror. I haven't taken a body picture in too long. I can manipulate face pictures, but not my body. I just wanted to share, because I have literally never told anyone, and you guys seem like the people who would understand the most.
Sorry if this is bad to anyone, delete it if you need to. I'm sorry, I just need someone right now and you guys make me feel safe.
[Help] It’s my birthday and I’m contemplating purging the meal my boyfriend is going to cook me
/u/amoonshapedpool-
Created: Sat Oct 7 01:25:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74tjm8/its_my_birthday_and_im_contemplating_purging_the/
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Someone please talk me out of my stupidity.
I'm not like you guys, but here's my story.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 7 01:18:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74tiqj/im_not_like_you_guys_but_heres_my_story/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Okay cool I’ll just be fat for ever because I’m a stupid f***ing failure
/u/religiousdogmom [5'5.75 | CW151 | GW115 | BMI 24.6 | 25F]
Created: Sat Oct 7 01:08:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74thkb/okay_cool_ill_just_be_fat_for_ever_because_im_a/
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I wasn’t going to eat today until dinner but my boyfriend insisted on bringing me lunch. I didn’t want anything but he brought me French fries and a chocolate shake. I could have not eaten it but I did. THEN tonight I ate pizza and breadsticks. I totally binged HARD. I ate AT LEAST 2000 calories just for dinner. So now I’m going to just gain. I’m just going to not eat tomorrow I think. Wish me luck.
[Help] Let anger from my ED spiral and hurt my SO
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 7 00:35:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74td7n/let_anger_from_my_ed_spiral_and_hurt_my_so/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Binged on bag of chocolates lol
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 6 23:45:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74t6ob/binged_on_bag_of_chocolates_lol/
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[removed]
[Help] Help! I need somebody. Help! Not just anybody.
/u/OscarTehOctopus
Created: Fri Oct 6 23:25:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74t3vn/help_i_need_somebody_help_not_just_anybody/
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I apologize for the Beatles reference in advance. I feel like I'm at a cross roads. I'm drunk full disclosure. I'm relapsing and I've been hiding it from my husband. I've reached my UGW, and I'm not satisfied. I'll never be. I was very very triggered by the fit to fat thread earlier and the only part of my recovery motivation that's left is not lying to my husband. I'm currently 105.4 and 5'2". My whole family has told me I'll blow up like a balloon in my twenties since I was a child (literally since elementary school "enjoy your body while you are young"). I'm 26 now. It's held true for all my relatives except for my non diagnosed ass so far. I was almost happy with my body until that thread. I binged less than maintenance tonight. Now I'm terrified of maintenance. Am I even disordered at a healthy bmi? What should I do? I want to be healthy and strong and badass, but I'm terrified of being fat and gross, and out of control and my husband never wanting me again.
I don't know what to do. Recover? Risk my job and my husband's trust on continuing? Mostly I just feel hideous, and confused, and idk.
Help? I need somebody.
[Rant/Rave] I want to tell you the truth
/u/Para-Medic [5'1' | too much | too much |0 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 6 23:06:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74t14z/i_want_to_tell_you_the_truth/
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Why am I not eating again today? Because I'm saving every cal to drink tonight. Why am I wasted after a few drinks? Because I haven't eaten in a few days and I feel drunk all day even without alcohol. I starve myself to drink as much as possible. I drink all my calories, take ephedrine and feel like a dried sponge every day. And I don't care. My partner is a fat blob. Everyone fawns over me when I lose even a pound. They love watching me disappear as much as I do. And I will. I'll be tiny one day. My husband will hold me and rub his hands down my bones and ask me if I'm okay. He wouldn't notice otherwise.
[Tip] Two sushi rolls for 140 calories!😍🍣
/u/thescarletlettergirl [5'3 | CW 108 | -16 | 19.1 | GW 95? | 18 F |]
Created: Fri Oct 6 22:15:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74stg4/two_sushi_rolls_for_140_calories/
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I just discovered "keto" sushi and I'm obsessed. Take a nori sheet spread 1 tbsp of whipped cream cheese mixed with sriracha onto the sheet and top with 1 cup of cauliflower rice mixed with rice vinegar and a little bit of sugar or stevia. Then add veggies and roll! You can add tofu or a protein, but that would raise the calories obviously, but this is sooo good it tastes like a spicy Philadelphia roll. It's super filling too!
[Rant/Rave] I hate when people eat less than I do
/u/SvelteDreams [5'5" | 125lbs |BMI: 20.1 | -17lbs | 21F]
Created: Fri Oct 6 20:05:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74s7yt/i_hate_when_people_eat_less_than_i_do/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE get personally offended when a girl younger than you is way hotter/skinnier than you are?
/u/Zurthrow [5'4| CW:135 | BMI:23.6 | GW1:130 | 22F]
Created: Fri Oct 6 19:44:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74s4br/dae_get_personally_offended_when_a_girl_younger/
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Remove if this is too off topic, but I feel like at the age of 22 I've just now reached the point in my life where I'm jealous of younger women. When you're a teen, younger girls can't really be "hotter" than you because they're young and kid-ish, so you wish to be older. Then as soon as you pass 20, suddenly all the celebrities and models people around you lust after seem to be aged 17-19. I know this sounds crazy but it felt like when I was a teen, other teens weren't anywhere near as hot as they are now. I feel like at age 22 I've completely missed out on my prime by having a boyfriend during my teen years and never being as skinny or hot as I wanted. I know I'm "wrong" for thinking this since women of all ages can be beautiful and that aging is just part of life, but it hurts to see that the most famous instagram models are all too young to even drink alcohol. IDK, what are y'alls thoughts? Am I just turning into a hag early or what? Are there any good insta models in their mid 20s-30s that y'all follow?
[Rant/Rave] My family in Puerto Rico has no food, and I'm sitting here throwing food away
/u/RedFoxDVM [5'3" | CW: 114 | -23 | UGW: 100 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 6 19:29:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74s1mq/my_family_in_puerto_rico_has_no_food_and_im/
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I feel like the worst piece of shit in the entire world. Today my mom heard from my aunt in Puerto Rico. My entire extended family lives on the island in a relatively rural town that still hasn't received any aid. Apparently the grocery stores ran out of canned food 4 or 5 days ago. My aunt was getting scared for my two little cousins (about 4 and 6 years old) so she shot a dog so she could keep them fed with the meat for the next few days.
My family members are actually going hungry and are trying to find food to survive and I sitting here in my comfortable life stateside, with a pantry full of food, that I am not eating and finding excuses to throw away. I feel so horrible and guilty and its just triggering me even more and I'm spiraling into self hatred and fear for my family. I've never felt worse in my entire life.
[Other] Being alone is triggering
/u/theironyengine [F27 | CW 130 | BMI 22 | GW 115 | UGW 106]
Created: Fri Oct 6 19:18:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74rzq7/being_alone_is_triggering/
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My boyfriend left today, Friday, and won't be back until Monday. He's going to his parents cabin for Thanksgiving. I'm working and have to stay in town.
I'm happy to stay home because his parents tend push snacks, seconds, and alcohol but I'm afraid to make dinner. I don't know what to make. I don't want to eat but I usually have a hungry boyfriend motivating me to make something healthy.
I can't go out and buy food becaus I'll binge. I'm leaving my credit card home tomorrow because I'm ready to buy up anything and everything especially cinnamon buns. I would bring home a 12 pack of cinzeo brand ones and chug tea if I let myself.
God, I hate alone sometimes. At least I can binge watch supersize vs superskinny without the snarky comments from bf.
[Help] Help me lose 30 pounds (also, is it realistic for me to lose 30 pounds by the end of December?)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 6 19:14:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74rz0w/help_me_lose_30_pounds_also_is_it_realistic_for/
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[removed]
[Tip] Must have safe food: pizza dough
/u/plantbasedpumpkin
Created: Fri Oct 6 18:38:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74rshr/must_have_safe_food_pizza_dough/
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Okay so trader joe's carries a whole wheat pizza dough (its vegan!! yay!!) that's 120 calories for 2 ounces. Its plenty of dough to make little personal pizzas that are SO delicious, and depending on what you top them with, pretty low calorie.
I use 1/2 a serving of vegan mozzarella shreds (45)
1/2 a roma tomato (10)
a few basil leaves (idk like 2??)
and balsamic vinegar (15)
grand total of 193!!! For a personal pizza!!
Highly recommend, it's one of my go tos ATM.
Edit: Calzones too!!
[Help] How to have more self control?
/u/elevenosix__
Created: Fri Oct 6 18:10:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74rn6o/how_to_have_more_self_control/
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I honestly suck at self control, and basically will say "Oh just this one time" and have mcdonalds. Or burger King or chocolate. And it keeps going like this and im getting fat.
How can i gain more self control?
[Other] I wish...
/u/noname372017
Created: Fri Oct 6 17:20:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74rdll/i_wish/
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That something other than losing weight could make me happy... But I guess I'll just enjoy the high I have right now from finally losing again after months of binge eating and feeling disgusting.
And I'm back after a long time away. Glad this place is here where I can feel accepted and understood by other people like me.😊
[Help] experience with losing weight, regaining some, and losing it again?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18| f | 22]
Created: Fri Oct 6 16:15:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74r06k/experience_with_losing_weight_regaining_some_and/
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has anyone else experienced losing weight quickly, regaining some, and then trying to lose that weight and succeeding?
i lost about 15 pounds last year and was underweight, i've gained about 7 pounds back, putting me just back into a healthy weight range, but my body dysmorphia is going haywire. i'm hyperaware that my thigh gap is barely visible and jeans that used to be super baggy actually fit. i stopped and restarted my birth control, but i don't think that's really affecting it. i've lost a pound or two in the past week (i wasn't able to weigh myself before then) of restricting to about 800 calories/day.
i feel like losing the weight is taking longer this time. maintaining while i was underweight was pretty easy. i'm just so uncomfortable in my body right now, i can't eat *anything* without feeling intense guilt. has anyone gone through the process of losing weight, regaining some, and then being able to actually lose it again?
[Discussion] What did it take to lose an inch off your waist? Or how many -lbs?
/u/naughtyhotty [5'7 | CW:136 | BMI:21 | GW:115? | -2]
Created: Fri Oct 6 16:13:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74qzsd/what_did_it_take_to_lose_an_inch_off_your_waist/
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I would love to get an idea of how much weight I have to lose to get to a 24" or 23 inch waist haha.
[Help] Convince me that eating my TDEE won't make me gain? Please?
/u/diedawhileago [5'5 1/2 | 99.4 | 16.3 | -130.6 lbs! | 17f]
Created: Fri Oct 6 15:49:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74qup1/convince_me_that_eating_my_tdee_wont_make_me_gain/
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Not the usual type of post for this sub but I hope you guys don't mind, I'm struggling a lot right now
I haven't weighed myself in a couple days because I've been trying to eat more (lol it's not freaking happening, I'm failing so hard) in a super weak attempt at maintenance, and seeing that sudden increase of food/water weight will 100% make me drop dead of a heart attack.
Anyways, back to my point: maintenance. I don't think I can do it. I'm still stuck in my shitty, super low restriction cycle that's been going on all summer and I CAN'T SEEM TO BREAK IT. Like I'll sit down to a meal and I just CAN'T. I don't see the point in eating, I can't justify it to myself, and I'm not even hungry. So why?????
I'm convinced going over my (absolutely pathetic) limit will make me gain but I know I need to eat more, because I am *very* close to being caught. My parents are worried, my doctor is worried, my therapist is worried. I'M worried. I need to eat. But I can't.
This is so horrible and ramble-y, but if anyone has been in a similar situation I could really use some help. I need to maintain my weight, losing/gaining is not an option- I need to do this. I don't want to die. I don't want to be forced into treatment. I really, really need help and I don't know what to do.
[Rant/Rave] I found my new dessert treat item
/u/archerofdawn [154cm | SW 164 | CW 140 | GW 88 | NB]
Created: Fri Oct 6 15:23:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74qoqh/i_found_my_new_dessert_treat_item/
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so I was wandering around the grocery store today and found individually packaged cups of cheesecake that are ~~90~~ 95cals each! i haven't had actual cheesecake in a while so i don't know how it tastes or feels compared to the actual thing, but holy shit. it feels so indulgent? and imo it had a decent portion (70g, the portion part of the cup has a 3" diameter and 1" depth)
it's called say cheese diet cheesecake and I found it in the kosher aisle (if you're in toronto, I specifically went to the nofrills at centerpoint mall at yonge/steeles), it was ~$4-5 each and there are three flavours (chocolate, marble and cappuccino; I bought the cappuccino one). also it comes with a little paddle spoon which, as a bonus, I find kind of hard to eat with lmao
[Rant/Rave] "You're looking very trim lately"
/u/sunriseblonde [5'2" | CW: 112 | GW: 98 | 27f]
Created: Fri Oct 6 14:40:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74qesq/youre_looking_very_trim_lately/
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So today I walked into the break room at work to grab some coffee. My boss and 2 coworkers were standing around, laughing about something but I had come in too late to understand the joke. No big deal, I just kinda smiled, let out a little hehe, grabbed my coffee and left. Typical office moment.
Boss came into my office a few moments ago to explain what the joke was. (I dunno why, he's just that kind of dude lol.) We made some small talk. Then he said just that. "You're looking very trim lately. Any changes?" :O
Guys, my heart was POUNDING. This is the second time in 2 days that someone has commented on my "thinness." But when I look in the mirror during workouts, I look so fucking chubby! I quickly came up with the "uhh well I guess I'm going to the gym more often" reply but I was quite literally dumbfounded. I felt excited, scared, anxious, and proud all at the same time.
So, yay for a small moment of victory.
Now I really want to weigh myself and know for sure...it's been about 3 weeks since I've weighed. But if it's higher than I think, I'll spiral into a pit of depression.
[Discussion] Online dating, sex, and EDs - helpppp
/u/Ender_Targaryen [5'5.5" | CW 134.6 | BMI 22.1 | -25 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 6 14:26:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74qbmf/online_dating_sex_and_eds_helpppp/
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Hey, everyone. I've just started online dating again after a long break, and I'm finding it so much harder mentally. I am tying everything that doesn't go perfectly back to my weight and inadequacy even though I'm skinnier than I've been since 2013.
There is one guy I really like, and we had sex after the second date. That's really soon for me but I had too much to drink on an empty stomach and it's been ages. But now I'm terrified I was too fat, too slutty, too everything and he will ghost.
I am so freakin insecure, how do you guys handle online dating (if you do it?) Waiting for texts is killing me and making me binge :(
[Help] Am I calculating my BMR correctly?
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 112.8 | GW: 105 | M/15]
Created: Fri Oct 6 14:16:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74q97p/am_i_calculating_my_bmr_correctly/
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I've used BMR calculators that account for age and gender and all of them say about 1500, but people are always telling me how it's more than that because of my age and that most calculators are inaccurate for teenagers, so who's right?
Am ai calculating my BMR right?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 6 14:15:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74q91u/am_ai_calculating_my_bmr_right/
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[deleted]
[Help] Pounds per inch?
/u/PermanentHysteria
Created: Fri Oct 6 13:00:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74pr9a/pounds_per_inch/
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[removed]
[Intro] Intro, I guess
/u/edaltaccount12345
Created: Fri Oct 6 12:52:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74ppi9/intro_i_guess/
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So this is my first post (lurked for the past couple weeks), after years of being a "healthy weight" (bmi 23), and eating normally, I'm back into old habits, is it weird to say i missed it? Idk, I'm ashamed at myself and proud of my restraint all at the same time. I kind of feel like a fraud even being here, because I'm eating up to 700cal a day, my brain is so messed up I can't really tell if that's just regular dieting :( just posted here as you guys seem like a really supportive community, and i feel like i need to talk to people that get it. If anyone's read this far, thanks for listening ❤ (deleted and reposted as forgot to flair)
[Intro] Intro, i guess?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 6 12:42:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74pn5r/intro_i_guess/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Going to start restricting again... what vitamins or supplements do you guys take?
/u/idk56177
Created: Fri Oct 6 12:23:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74pinv/going_to_start_restricting_again_what_vitamins_or/
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I’m a little concerned about getting all my nutrients and staying *somewhat* healthy while restricting. I’m just curious what vitamins or supps everyone takes especially to keep energy levels up.
[Help] I think my boyfriend is skipping meals because of me
/u/noidea744 [5'3| CW 110.8 | BMI 20|F]
Created: Fri Oct 6 12:01:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74pdcp/i_think_my_boyfriend_is_skipping_meals_because_of/
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He knows I've been struggling with eating recently, he's mostly been Okay with me. I've had alot of "but you haven't ate" and me saying that I'm not hungry ect, at most he's said that I need to eat more or gave me a look. He knows what I'm doing. The past few days though he's mentioned being hungry and needing to get something to eat then when I don't want anything, he doesn't get anything either. He's not doing it in an asshole way but it's really getting to me. If I talk to him about it, it will just highlight more that I'm not eating but I'm scared that I might drag him back into his ed behaviours(He's been recovered for like 20 years). I've no idea what to do because I also don't want to be eating when I'm with him, the food he eats is so high calorie and I'm doing so well, I'm sitting at a place where I should be having fun with my kids, with my stomach aching from being so hungry and nearly in tears because I can't decide if I should do what I want or what's best for my boyfriend
[Rant/Rave] Period Bloat is the DEVIL!
/u/AnaTroi [5'9" | CW: 170 | BMI: 24.65 | Weight Lost: 28lbs]
Created: Fri Oct 6 11:22:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74p42n/period_bloat_is_the_devil/
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Sorry to the guys here... Just have to vent.
I've been on such a good downward trend the last while. I'm back to restricting like I used to. I'm down three sizes in jeans, my face is noticeably thinner, and I feel more like myself. But one week out of every month is hell!
I don't even care about my actual period. It's pretty minimal and doesn't disrupt my life at all. But the week before, I start feeling puffy and gross. The scale creeps up a few pounds, my pants fit a little tighter. Just ugh. It honestly just makes me angry.
My disordered brain can't handle the scale climbing up without going into overdrive. I know it's just water weight. But it's so frustrating.
[Rant/Rave] "Wow. That's a lot of honey"
/u/Shermaow
Created: Fri Oct 6 10:46:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74ov9u/wow_thats_a_lot_of_honey/
---
My SO says as I take my daily tsp of local honey (just moved and trying anything/everything for my dumb allergies). But damn if it didn't hurt like a kick to the gut. Like, now I get to feel guilty about a stupid tsp worth of honey meanwhile he spends the day shoveling his face with chips and snacks and canned pastas and literal cups of creamer in his coffee?! We're in super close quarters right now (studio hotel room) which doesn't help AT ALL. And I swear any longer of listening to the constant slurp/crunch/smacking all damn day is going to kill me. And now I don't even get to enjoy my honey 😥
[Tip] For everyone who (like me) gets motivated by other people gaining weight: this tumblr is the best
/u/cartoonsandscience [6'1 | CW 141 | -31 | GW 136 | 20M]
Created: Fri Oct 6 10:46:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74ov43/for_everyone_who_like_me_gets_motivated_by_other/
---
http://yougotfat.tumblr.com
[Rant/Rave] Now I understand.
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 64.6 kg | BMI: 24 | -18.9 kg | F]
Created: Fri Oct 6 10:45:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74ouzk/now_i_understand/
---
Now I understand why laxatives are a thing.
Today I had the first cheat day since jun (when I started my weight loss) and god I feel sick. I ate way too much, I don't even feel guilty about the calories because I know now that I'll never do it again (never had a problem with bingeing anyway). I'm sure I ate up to 2500 cals and I feel like I'm going to burst and thanks to my heavy restricting (<500 cals a day) my digestive system slowed down..and my food is just laying there in my stomach and making me feel horribly sick. I guess laxatives would get rid of the problem, buuut I don't have any. I sure do prefer feeling hungry!
My plan for next week: only dinner, and if I have to eat lunch salad it is.
I feel like a fat stone lying on the couch.
EDIT: it was most probably even 2800 cals...I'm so over my weekly limit -.-
[Rant/Rave] 13 hours into a fast and my boss brought me food she went out of her way to make
/u/pcrnography [it's just water weight]
Created: Fri Oct 6 10:42:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74ou2p/13_hours_into_a_fast_and_my_boss_brought_me_food/
---
It smells sooo good. I’m gonna have to leave work early to avoid eating it lmao
So if any of you live in Sacramento and want some delicious smelling, home made, vegan Mexican food PM me ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯ I’m gonna feel awful if no one gets to taste this!
[Help] MFP question
/u/bananapeppr [5'3" | 107.8 | 19.6 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 6 10:08:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74om2c/mfp_question/
---
Hi lovelies, I have a question about mfp. I know your goal weight isn't allowed to be underweight or else you risk losing your account, but can you log and maintain a weight under your "goal" as long as you're eating above 1000 calories? I really really don't want to use a new app and lose my streak and my saved foods but I want to be able to log and maintain my UGW of 101 when I get there. Thank you!
[Help] Tingling limbs?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~61lbs | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Fri Oct 6 10:01:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74ok6z/tingling_limbs/
---
So I've noticed the more weight I lose the easier it is for my... well everything to go to sleep
Sit down on a hard chair too long? Have fun walking because your legs are about to tingle for the next few minutes.
Laying on your stomach propped up on your arms? Say goodbye to using those tingly useless noodles.
Does anyone else get this? Why is this happening? How can I make it stop? 😣
Im assuming its because blood supply is being cut off to my arms and legs easier because theres not as much padding but it's super uncomfortable...
[Intro] Well - after 15 years of being relatively normal, here I am.
/u/alwayssoclose
Created: Fri Oct 6 09:58:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74ojfl/well_after_15_years_of_being_relatively_normal/
---
First post, but lurker for months. Didn't want to ever post because I'm "too old" and "too together" to have an ed. It was a nice thought at least.
Struggled through high school and was diagnosed after having to stay in a psych ward for attempted suicide. To this day, I don't think I was depressed - I was just overwhelmed. Controlling my body was safe though, I wanted to be perfect and it was the only thing I could do perfectly.
Fast forward - got married, had a couple of beautiful, amazing kids, got divorced, was diagnosed with a chronic illness that keeps me from working - still not depressed. Had some "quirky" eating habits and def bdd, but not enough to derail me from the rest of life. Then I had surgery a couple of months ago and stepped on a scale a few days after - 122. I'm 5'7.5.
While I'm sure I've hit that weight in the last dozen or so years (and didn't realize it, wasn't weighing and asked nurses not to tell me at doc appts), it was devastating. I tried making healthier choices for a bit - wasn't seeing results.
So I started restricting. Weighed in at 111 today. So close. I think my final goal weight is 108, then time for maintenance. But I also know that the obsession has restarted and once I get there, 103 will sound much better.
I've analyzed and re-analyzed why I keep coming back to this board. I don't want this. I know what it can do. I'm not comfortable with putting my family in that position again, particularly my kids. So far, they have a pretty healthy relationship with food and while one is overweight, I make sure they never see what I'm doing to myself. I'd like to think that once I hit goal weight, I'll have enough sense to turn it around. But we all know that it's a slippery slope.
Sorry so long, was nice to finally get all that out. This has to be one of the kindest, most supportive boards I've seen on Reddit.
[Rant/Rave] Chew and spit
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 19bmi | -140 | 30F | AU]
Created: Fri Oct 6 09:47:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74oh0o/chew_and_spit/
---
I've recently started doing this out of guilt. We are super poor and if I make food I don't want to throw it out and I feel too guilty to eat it I've started to chew and spit even though before I've always looked at it like "dumb." But now that's me sometimes! Absolute a guilt thing.,
Just looking for, idk, others, stories, whathaveyou
[Other] Pretty much every meal tbh
/u/ghost-bones
Created: Fri Oct 6 09:25:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74obor/pretty_much_every_meal_tbh/
---
https://i.redd.it/mx8u8pvo98qz.jpg
[Intro] Introducing myself...
/u/star-belly [5'3" | CW: 117lbs | UGW: 98lbs | 19F]
Created: Fri Oct 6 09:24:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74obgo/introducing_myself/
---
I've posted a bit on this subreddit but I haven't been very active so I thought I'd make a post introducing myself. I started trying to lose weight in April but it didn't develop into a full blown ED until August. I've had episodes of disordered eating in the past but never anything that stuck like this has. I stumbled across this place a while ago and decided to join. People here seem really nice and I'm hoping I'll find the support I need here.
Some other things about me are that I'm into classic punk and I have a weakness for early 00s emo. I love to read autobiographies, especially those of activists and revolutionaries, and to a certain extent musicians as well. I also have fairly severe social anxiety, which may limit how often I post here as I'm extremely self conscious and worry about saying something wrong/weird.
[Tip] Eat salt.
/u/SzStarsEatArt
Created: Fri Oct 6 08:39:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74o0u0/eat_salt/
---
Went to the ER this morning. Was pretty sure it was a heart attack. Very low blood pressure, because I never eat salt.
Don't be me. Eat some fucking salt. We grew up hearing how evil it is, but you actually do need that shit.
[Discussion] Best mono diet?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 113.6 | UGW: 102lbs | Peach: LobsterMacNCheese]
Created: Fri Oct 6 08:12:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74nuy6/best_mono_diet/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Trader Joe’s recommendations?
/u/InSkyLimitEra [5' 7.25" | CW (Post-PHP) | LW 105 | HW 180 | 30 F]
Created: Fri Oct 6 08:07:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74ntwh/trader_joes_recommendations/
---
I live in Iowa and we just got a Trader Joe’s in my area. I have never been to one, but I’m pretty sure from time to time I’ve heard it mentioned here. What kinds of ED-friendly things are good there? Any recommendations? You can mention non-ED-friendly things too, if you want. Just to torture us all. ☺️ Thanks!
[Other] Good news for stoners
/u/gettingagrip4 [5'3" | Baby Hippo | 22 | -70 | 31F]
Created: Fri Oct 6 07:30:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74nm11/good_news_for_stoners/
---
So I've been smoking a lot lately and of course I get the munchies hard. I was worried about the calories from snacking but it seems like it hasn't effected my weight at all. Then I found some articles that made me feel better. Turns out weed might increase metabolism!
https://herb.co/2016/02/01/odd-science-behind-marijuana-metabolism/
[Rant/Rave] My new scale gave me three different readings?
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 90ishlbs | BMI 16.46ish | 20F]
Created: Fri Oct 6 07:19:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74njvq/my_new_scale_gave_me_three_different_readings/
---
So yesterday I weighed in at 90.4 lbs in the beginning of the day. I ate about 750 cals.
Today, I stepped on and the first reading was 94. I panicked.
I walked around in the bathroom a little bit and then stepped back on. It said 91.6. Then I stepped off. Got back on. It said 89.6. Got off. Got back on. It said 89.6 again.
WTF. Now I'm freaked out thinking I may have shot up a few pounds. Fucking scales.
[Help] Hit the 24 hour mark on my first fast, and I need some motivation to keep going!
/u/annabear [F23 | 5'7" | CW:247.8 | -18.5]
Created: Fri Oct 6 07:10:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74ni59/hit_the_24_hour_mark_on_my_first_fast_and_i_need/
---
I want to make it to 72 hours. I drank so much green tea yesterday that I stayed up until 4am :( so, a few questions:
Anyone know of any low caffeine green tea options?
How much weight should I expect to go back on once I start eating 600-800 calories a day again after a 3 day fast?
And is it normal to PEE SO MUCH?! It's like every 45 minutes I gotta run to the bathroom. I weighed myself periodically yesterday and realized I lost almost 3 pounds of water weight 😶
[Goal] Primary goal for the day 😂
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 6 07:08:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74nhua/primary_goal_for_the_day/
---
https://i.redd.it/68ra9fccl7qz.jpg
24 hours into my first fast, and I need some motivation to keep going!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 6 07:08:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74nhtw/24_hours_into_my_first_fast_and_i_need_some/
---
[deleted]
[Other] A spin on Lasagna
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 155 | GW:118 | -11 | F24]
Created: Fri Oct 6 07:08:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74nht3/a_spin_on_lasagna/
---
Okay so I was looking around my pantry (I don't actually eat anything, I just....like looking at the food...) anyways. I spied a box of matzah and looked at the calorie count out of curiosity. 100kcal per piece (it's like 6x6 squares). And all of a sudden I realized one of my moms Passover staples is low calorie!!! Well, low-ish depending on your personal limits. Now that I think about it, a surprising amount of Jewish type cooking is already or could easily be made to be low calorie.
MATZAH LASANGA
Okay before you go ewww, it's not bad! It's actually delicious!!! The matzah doesn't get soggy, it gets chewy! Even better, you can buy matzah in your regular grocery store year-round!!!!
So below is the recipe (with some lower cal version of stuff swapped in).
~ 4 pieces of matzah (300-400kcal)
~ 1 cup Roasted Garlic Tomato sauce (140kcal)
~ Grated Mozzarella (subbing in 3 lite string cheeses grated @ 50kcal/stick)
~ 1/2 cup part skim ricotta (170kcal)
~ Some parmasean to go on top (I'll say 3 tbsp @ 60kcal, I don't use a lot)
~ Italien seasoning (0kcal)
Setup as you would regular lasagna and put like 1-2 TBSP of water in the pan. This is to help soften the matzah, especially if you went light on the tomato sauce. Cover over with foil and bake at 350°F forrr...40ish minutes or so.
This makes about 4 me sized servings. I entered it all into MFP which says its 233kcal/serving. It's super duper filling guys!! Also WAY lower calorie than regular lasagna, and if you eat the whole pan like me 🙄, it wont send you over 100kcal for the day. and also just for me I get the happy nostalgic feelz 😊
Note: this recipe doesn't include meat because my mom kept kosher when I was growing up (she still does), so no mixing of meat and dairy. At this point, the idea of putting meat in my lasagna is just....revolting lol
24 hours into a fast, and I need some motivation to keep going!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 6 07:04:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74ngzh/24_hours_into_a_fast_and_i_need_some_motivation/
---
[deleted]
[Help] Telling your SO you love them?
/u/Soybeansandsprouts [🍌5'5"|107|18.01|GW:105🍉]
Created: Fri Oct 6 06:30:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74naes/telling_your_so_you_love_them/
---
Hey y'all. So my Boyfriend and I are going camping this weekend, and for the past month or so I've been having this itch to tell him I love him but I'm absolutely terrified. I've never said it first to any of my previous SOs. honestly, most of them had said it way to early in the relationship so when I told them I loved them back it wasnt genuine. I've debated saying nothing because I have this tendency to wake up some mornings and find everyone revolting, especially my partners. Or sometimes I'll be sitting in the passenger seat of their car and look at them and just think "who are you? You might as well be a stranger to me. I could live my life without you, never think about it again, and probably be happier." Somehow, being in a a relationship only makes me feel lonelier and I've ruined all my relationships this way. Im pretty sure it has to do with the depersonalizations I struggle with, but in the past i thought it meant I was aromantic. This hasn't happened with my current bf though. It gives me hope.
Anyway, weve been together for 6 months and before that we were FWB for 10 months. I'm his first girlfriend and he's the biggest dork. I honestly think if I hadn't had the "are we dating?" Conversation we would still be in that pseudorelationship. This past summer, he asked to visit me in my hometown. He stayed in my house and met my parents ( we go to school together but He's from Northern California and I'm from SoCal )which in my parents book means it's a "serious" relationship lol.
Hes a bit suspicious of my ED and says I have the strangest diet he's ever seen and I don't eat enough. The first time he saw me naked I was 135 and now I'm 107ish so that's like a 20% difference but he doesn't say anything since he doesn't how to start an uncomfortable conversation. I'm thankful for it tbh. The last person I dated who knew about my ed dumped me because i "didn't love myself." So not repeating that.
I just don't want to put him on the spot so he feels he has to say it back, you know? And I'm scared that some day I'll roll over, see him there, and feel like he's just some faceless figure I return to because it makes me feel less empty for a few hours. But I also really care about this person and want him to know what he means to me. Will it ruin the whole trip if I tell him and he doesn't feel the same way? He'd feel so guilty for making me feel bad but I only want him to say it if he means it. Ugh idk what to do.
What was it like when you told your SO you loved them? Was it ever unreciprocated? Do you think it's a bad idea?
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! October 06, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Oct 6 06:12:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74n7bs/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for October 06, 2017.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 06, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Oct 6 06:12:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74n7ay/daily_food_diary_october_06_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 06, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] October 6th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 6 05:50:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74n3ku/october_6th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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Do you have any new friends?
My non-SO SO? He was my boyfriend’s roommate in college (6ish years ago), and we actually didn’t interact that much, besides in a few classes (our majors had overlap) and at the house a little.
Well about 2 months ago he randomly messaged me on Facebook asking how I’ve been and what I’ve been doing, and it turned into this whole thing, but the kicker is that he is now in the army (a shock to both of us) and was being deployed to Syria in literally a week.
So we’ve been kind of doing this long distance thing? Even though I haven’t physically seen him in *years* except for pictures and 1 video chat. He won’t be back in the US until March.
So that’s kind of a new friend? No idea. Lol.
[Discussion] How does having an eating disorder prevent you from achieving your goals in life?
/u/LostBrokenAndAfraid [5'10 | CW 195 | GW 170 | 70 lbs lost | Male]
Created: Fri Oct 6 05:47:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74n32w/how_does_having_an_eating_disorder_prevent_you/
---
[Goal] Gooaalll
/u/awayawaydown [c: 16.9 | g: 16.3]
Created: Fri Oct 6 05:15:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74my1l/gooaalll/
---
Plz flair goal, on mobile.
You guys, I cracked 130 today. I haven't been in the 120s for many years. My GW is so close!
Seeing the number pop up gave me such an endorphin rush...I feel so great!
[Thinspo] Not religious but I saw this video of a 200 pound woman fasting for 120 days for God and seeing her get thinner and thinner is super motivating
/u/lightfeathers [5'4" | CW 112 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 6 05:07:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74mwvx/not_religious_but_i_saw_this_video_of_a_200_pound/
---
https://youtu.be/73_ORmRc_vo
[Rant/Rave] Finally!!
/u/Banana-Ghost
Created: Fri Oct 6 04:27:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74mr98/finally/
---
I wasn't losing any weight for WEEKS even though I was eating between 800-1200 calories everyday.
I finally did and lost 1,6kg!!
Only 7kg to go 💞
I really want to be 54kg before January (I'm 169cm)
[Rant/Rave] My aunt is the best!
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Fri Oct 6 04:16:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74mpvn/my_aunt_is_the_best/
---
I don’t share my ED with many. My aunt helped me get help a few years ago and knows about my current struggle. She always answers my calls and while she doesn’t truly get how ED works she’s always supportive. Last night she called and said she’s sad that this has taken over my life and she knows I know a different way of existing and she wants to help me get back there so she’d been thinking about when it all started and pinpointed a semi ex/friend who was emotionally abusive and thought I should think more about how he’s affected me. I had literally never associated him with any of this but now thinking, she might be on to something. It was after a horrific incident with him that I was first so nauseous I couldn’t eat which started my current weekday restriction pattern so he clearly played some role. Anyway after a day where my best friend said pretty insensitive things about my ED it was nice to feel like I have an ally who really cares. Is there anyone in your life that you feel is in your corner really trying to understand you and help?
[Discussion] [Discussion] What's the weirdest or most disgusting thing you binged on?
/u/Throwaway3344511
Created: Fri Oct 6 03:30:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74mjmy/discussion_whats_the_weirdest_or_most_disgusting/
---
In the middle of a binge, I ate bread with honey and chips (or crisps). Also uncooked ramen. And expired food. What about you?
[Rant/Rave] They greated death like an old friend.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Fri Oct 6 02:04:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74m8sx/they_greated_death_like_an_old_friend/
---
On mobile flair appropriately rant or something.
I flicked on the light and sat up memorized by the possibility of it ending. What if it did. What if those pills on my bedside table could take me there. What would it look like? Is there anywhere for me.
If I took a handful of sleeping pills and didn't wake up like I'd done so many times before. If I went into the medicine cabinet and could some how do it with all those antidepressants my mother takes. Too many antidepressants could truly end the depression. I just want to be calm. I don't want to think. I don't want to live the worst reality.
What if I just walked. Left. Didn't return and got lost and died in nature. A casualty to nature, giving back to the earth my body for the taking.
What I went out and committed a crime and resisted arrest until police decided to shoot me dead.
The most romantic idea. Draining my savings and going to a rural hotel with all the drugs I could possible score on short notice. Uppers, downers, all arounders, hulkincagens and the like. Take them all and let them take me.
All just thoughts. I will wake up tomorrow and he miserable when I would rather die and stain this bed with my scarlett essence. I don't want to exist anymore. I don't want to be. There is no future for me.
Willow.
Edit: my desire to die is a joke. Thanks for the downvotes lovely supportive community. I guess I'll be reminded of this next time I'm feeling this low that strangers on the internet definitely don't give two shits about me. I truly am better off dead.
[Goal] When rhe the fuck did I get a thigh gap?
/u/OMFGLDQ [👻5'3" | 92.8lbs | 16.89 | GW <90lbs | HW ~125lbs | 👬]
Created: Fri Oct 6 01:55:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74m7r0/when_rhe_the_fuck_did_i_get_a_thigh_gap/
---
Holy fucking yay omg
I'm really stoned and I wanted to post about this earlier but I was walking all over everywhere (so super busy) and noticed that my thighs weren't rubbing together and just omg so I checked when I got home and definitely have a small gap!
I'm not sure when or why or how bc I'm trying to gain rn but duuuuude I'm psyched!
[Other] This is where I'm at ....
/u/jonkristopher
Created: Fri Oct 6 01:41:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74m62u/this_is_where_im_at/
---
So I've been doing horribly on losing weight. I have performed horribly at work. My boyfriend is working in Venezuela until April (I'm in the states). I've been using drugs to try to lose weight but now I have an expensive nasty habit and it hasn't even aided in weight loss. And then on top of that, my alcohol consumption is WAY up.
I just feel horrible. I feel alone. I feel fat. I am fat. I'm making all of the wrong choices.
I just wanted somebody to know how I feel. My friends and family say I don't say how I feel enough. But it's too hard to be honest with them. This is my attempt. It sucks. I feel foolish for posting this. I immediately will regret it.
Thanks for listening though
[Rant/Rave] I'm an attention whore that's my fucking problem..
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Fri Oct 6 01:37:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74m5jx/im_an_attention_whore_thats_my_fucking_problem/
---
On mobile flair as rant rave or something
I have spent 9 hours at the gym the past two days. It's been a few days since I ate. I don't even know my weight anymore and I wear clothes that hide what I look like. I hate the person on the mirror.
The dyspohoria is real. I want validation for who I feel like I am but I hate who i see in the mirror;. The fat, ugly masculine body; broad shoulders, hair, fat everything, stretch marks, scars, and everything. It's not who I want to be.
I feel like I'm full of bile. I am rotten to the core. I sabatoge my own friendships to remain alone and feel in control. I treat people awfully and say awful things to myself. It's not about weight or how I look anymore. I am just miserable in this existential void.
My parents will be gone for 3 days. I live with them and the house will be alone with just me. I fear for them because I don't know how much longer my will to live will last. What if they come home just to find me dead in my room. They don't care about my struggle. No one does.
I'm not sick enough for anyone to notice. I am immensely sad and can't eat without feeling guilty. The guilt of every bite feels equitable to harming another being, human or animal.
Maybe this is the end of me.
Willow.
[Thinspo] popovysisters BJD Thinspo (NSFW)
/u/cloudsofdawn [169cm - 5'6.5' | CW: 127.4lbs | 20.23 BMI | -11lbs | F]
Created: Fri Oct 6 01:15:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74m2nc/popovysisters_bjd_thinspo_nsfw/
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https://imgur.com/gallery/domcj
[Rant/Rave] I saw a photo of myself.
/u/salviaplath_13 [5'1 | CW: 103 | 19.5 | GW: ??? | F]
Created: Thu Oct 5 23:47:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74lq3k/i_saw_a_photo_of_myself/
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Some drunk people were horsing around and a dude grabbed my phone and started taking selfies, and then turned the camera around at me. I tried to smile or whatever, hoping it would turn out cute. But when I looked at the photo later I was disgusted. I purged for hours nonstop last night and my bulimia cheeks are bad AF, the swelling is so bad I have a double chin. I didn't even realize how terrible I looked until now. And I've been walking around campus all day like that!!!! I'm so embarrassed, and all I wanted is to look thin and go out partying this weekend. Seeing any photos of myself is so triggering especially for my BDD. It just confirms that what I see in the mirror IS reality. Why do I even try....
[Discussion] I just realized that - 2 lbs a week is not bad (discussion)
/u/sweettutu64 [5'3 | -51.4 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Oct 5 23:34:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74lo6o/i_just_realized_that_2_lbs_a_week_is_not_bad/
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like the title said, I've been pretty upset with myself that I've "only" been losing 2-3 pounds a week but that's not bad? I was updating my LoseIt goals and saw that the highest goal/week is 2 lbs
I always ragged on myself that I wasn't losing 5 or 10 lbs in a week anymore but that only happened when I was obese and obviously now that I'm not my body isn't burning as many calories in general. it was just a really weird realization to come to. has anyone else come to a similar conclusion? like you thought you weren't doing as well as you are?
[Discussion] Canadian Thanksgiving...
/u/CannonEyes
Created: Thu Oct 5 21:46:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74l6tx/canadian_thanksgiving/
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I have 3 thanksgiving meals to attend this weekend. Trying to mentally prepare. How are all you other Canadians spending your weekend?
[Help] I need to tell her everything.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 5 21:46:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74l6qw/i_need_to_tell_her_everything/
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[deleted]
[Help] Things to do instead of eating?
/u/albb223
Created: Thu Oct 5 20:51:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74kx8j/things_to_do_instead_of_eating/
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I'm in need of different things to do to get my mind off food. I've been giving into the cravings way too much lately and it's starting to show.
I'm curious as to what you guys do to take your mind of of things.
[Help] (first post here) I’ve been bingeing...a lot
/u/mercuryomnificent
Created: Thu Oct 5 20:47:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74kwil/first_post_here_ive_been_bingeinga_lot/
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Um hey friends. I’ve lurked here for a while but I haven’t really felt the need to post until now. My life with university and work and dating and friends has all been VERY shitty these past few weeks and I’ve been binge eating like crazy. I don’t even know if I could list all I’ve eaten tonight. I’m not even sure how to control this anymore.
[Discussion] does anyone use a misfit tracker?
/u/proudnalgeneowner [5'5 | CW105 | GW95 | 17.68 | 17F]
Created: Thu Oct 5 20:04:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74kok0/does_anyone_use_a_misfit_tracker/
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I just got myself the Ray because it doesn't look like a step tracker, could be mistaken for a bracelet and I don't need to call unecessary attention to myself :P and I don't want anyone to worry. It would be cool to have some friends on there though, so anyone feel free to add me I'm @fluoral on there :)
[Tip] Restriction hack: plan a wedding
/u/tinywolfxo [5'4"|C 121.6|G 105|H 162|L 97|F|BMI 20.9]
Created: Thu Oct 5 19:41:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74kk79/restriction_hack_plan_a_wedding/
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I seriously forget to eat until like 5 pm on the days I'm working on wedding plans. I'm a terrible restrictor, so it's seriously a blessing in disguise. I used to scoff when people said wedding planning makes you lose weight without trying. Guess this is what they were talking about 😂
[Rant/Rave] Fucking shrimp.
/u/fuckingusernamee
Created: Thu Oct 5 19:34:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74kipg/fucking_shrimp/
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Shrimp used to be my favorite food, and now it is my ultimate trigger food... and it just so happens to be right in front of me during my 2nd day of my 4 day fast, and I made the mistake of thinking that chewing and spitting one piece would satisfy my appetite. I did that, and now I'm locked in the bathroom until it is all eaten by everyone else because for once I feel like I wouldn't be able to resist. I feel so silly, I shouldn't have to lock myself in the bathroom to maintain self control, I have REALLY great self control 90 % of the time... until I see fuckin shrimp. You delicious little bastards. Fuck you.
[Help] Hating myself for doing this :'(
/u/MermaidHeart [5'6" | 118lbs | 19.0 | 16lbs | Female]
Created: Thu Oct 5 19:32:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74kieb/hating_myself_for_doing_this/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I just feel so low right now...
/u/littledutchbird [24F|5'8"|150 lbs|BMI 22.5|-35 lbs]
Created: Thu Oct 5 19:02:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74kcqh/i_just_feel_so_low_right_now/
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I tried to talk to my boyfriend about how I am feeling lately. He's really into intermittent fasting and all that. I did it for a while too, but I feel like it's the trigger that destroyed whatever semblance of a healthy relationship I had left with food. I feel disgusting when I break a fast, I feel like a fat, gluttonous quitter with no will power and then I spiral into this behavior of sneaky eating and shameful binges and I feel even worse and start fasting again. I've nearly fainted at work more than once.
All he can seem to say is "I don't think you have an eating disorder."
Well, obviously if I want people to take my problem seriously and maybe help me to pull myself out of this hole, I need to make it worse, right? Not nip it in the bud now, duh... I want to fix myself but I don't know how. All I can think is that I should just go ahead and actually starve so someone will take this seriously.
[Discussion] People who rarely binge, what do you think helps?
/u/luxklepto
Created: Thu Oct 5 18:49:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74kaf7/people_who_rarely_binge_what_do_you_think_helps/
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I actually use to restrict binge fast all the time, and it was a terrible cycle where I maintained and never lost any weight. Then I typed 1200 into losertown and realized I could reach my goal weight in x days. So I started restricting to 1200, then 900, then 800. What I find works the most is high calorie restriction. And I don't eat breakfast, I think it makes me hungry all day. I try to listen to my body and only eat when I feel nauseous or terribly dizzy.
And also, it's crazy how little difference calories make. Try typing 800 then 300, and you'll see that in two-three weeks, they only have a 1lb difference.
What about you guys?
Roommate Problem- Rent
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 5 18:42:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74k8zx/roommate_problem_rent/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] How the fuck did I become such a fatass in college
/u/notsohappycarrot [5'9|CW:131|GW:120|19.3 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 5 18:41:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74k8oo/how_the_fuck_did_i_become_such_a_fatass_in_college/
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In high school, my lowest weight was 116 lbs. Which is kinda funny, because I thought I was fat back then. Then college happened. I went from not eating when I'm stressed to bingeing when I'm stressed. AND FUCKING FUCK I'M STRESSED. I got a boyfriend, who tempts me with calories anytime we're together. And My parents keep the whole damn house stocked with my trigger foods. and the food on campus is so good....
I cried when I stepped on the scale and saw 135. My stomach is so fat. I cant wrap my fingers around my arm any more. My thighs touch now sometimes. The scale scares me. I'm already ugly, I can't be fat too :(
Someone please lock away all the food
[Help] Rumbling Stomach?
/u/HBKing89 [5'3 | 123| 21.8 | -37 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 5 18:23:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74k54z/rumbling_stomach/
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Do y’all have any remedies for REALLY loud stomachs? I’m not feeling hungry at this point, but my belly will not shut up. It’s getting to be pretty embarrassing.
Apps?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 5 18:23:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74k52o/apps/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Nothing like Adderall to curb a binge
/u/BodilySolids
Created: Thu Oct 5 18:22:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74k4vz/nothing_like_adderall_to_curb_a_binge/
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After getting w/in 15 lbs of my short term GW, and being 25lbs from my UGW, I decided to eat maintenance for my birthday week and to slow my weight loss temporarily due to a few concerned remarks, and I realized I have no control. It’s either eat ALL the foods, or eat nothing at all... and when I started binging 3 days ago, it continued for 3 days straight until I was bitching about all the class work I have due and needing a break and having a coworker offer me a handful of his prescription to get me through.
Binge. Stopped. Dead. In. Its. Tracks.
Luckily, I usually only need a day or two of resettling into restrictive eating to get back on track, so when I finish cruising through the homework and tests today and tomorrow and the adderall runs out, I’ll be back on track. I’m going to try an actual eating plan with pre-logged meals the next time I plan on eating maintenance instead of eating intuitively. Eating intuitively just makes me eat till it hurts 😝.
[Help] Stay focused on a fast
/u/Prairiedoll
Created: Thu Oct 5 17:19:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74js7o/stay_focused_on_a_fast/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Out of residential, back into old habits.
/u/InItToSinIt
Created: Thu Oct 5 16:33:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74jio7/out_of_residential_back_into_old_habits/
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I just got out of residential treatment at The Emily Program in Seattle. I gained 60 lbs there due to refeeding! Now that I'm home, I feel like shit, and like it was a waste of money because I still want to do the same things, but now I'm even fatter and have an even longer way to go!
I've never been this big in my entire life, every time I eat something I want to throw up, or spit it out, but also want to make myself eat it because I know it's disordered not to. I'm fighting against my ED at every turn, but now I don't look sick anymore so no one will notice if I go back to it.
I don't think I want to go back to my ED, but I can't stay this weight either!!!!
[Rant/Rave] Why do people act like because you eat normally for one day you should be happy?
/u/TurnTechAstraeus
Created: Thu Oct 5 16:06:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74jcob/why_do_people_act_like_because_you_eat_normally/
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Throwaway cause my girlfriend knows my main, I ate a 'good' amount today which means far too much and I hate myself for it. I'm scared of food, I'm scared of putting on weight and everyone around me goes 'you're not fat' 'you don't need to count calories' and I just wish I could make them understand how I see myself and so that they know I'm not good enough. They're all worried about me but I just keep thinking that I'll be happier when I'm thinner. I don't look like I have an ED (diagnosis of similar to anorexia) so none of my housemates really get it.
TLDR; I ate too much (>700) and now I hate myself more than usual and everyone else is happy.
[Rant/Rave] Down hill
/u/scoutthlostgil
Created: Thu Oct 5 15:44:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74j7pc/down_hill/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] fucking peanut butter
/u/pricklypear72
Created: Thu Oct 5 15:32:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74j533/fucking_peanut_butter/
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[removed]
[Help] Only lost 2 pounds in 2.5 weeks?
/u/plantbasedpumpkin
Created: Thu Oct 5 14:59:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74ix9s/only_lost_2_pounds_in_25_weeks/
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Okay so I know the biggest advice you'll all give me is fiber gummies, water, pooping, etc.
BUT - i go pretty much every day.
I'm eating 500-800 calories a day with a BMR of 1880. Why am I not losing?? for a few weeks I was losing like 4 pounds a week. What am I doing wrong?? Will I continue to lose weight or is this it??
[Help] could birth control (oral contraceptives) prevent weight loss/make it more difficult?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18| f | 22]
Created: Thu Oct 5 14:30:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74iqbp/could_birth_control_oral_contraceptives_prevent/
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maybe this is a stupid question, but i stopped my birth control (trinessa, generic ortho tri-cyclene or combination pill) for a few days and then went back on it, and i'm paranoid that being on birth control is somehow preventing me from losing weight easily.
i eat less than 1,000 calories/day, usually below 800 with a few exception that were less than 2,000. i lost about 15 pounds while on the same birth control last year, but i really want to get back to around 100 and need to lose about a few pounds (4 or 5) to do so. idk has anyone had success/difficulty losing weight while on birth control despite restricting?
[Help] Help:(
/u/sadbean17 [ 5'4" | 122lb | 21.9 | 17F]
Created: Thu Oct 5 14:06:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74ikr8/help/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] college & binging
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 5 13:41:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74ieqc/college_binging/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] The horribly difficult decisions that people force you to make
/u/noidea744 [5'3| CW 110.8 | BMI 20|F]
Created: Thu Oct 5 13:40:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74ieiw/the_horribly_difficult_decisions_that_people/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Someone put a muzzle on me and stop me from consuming everything in sight pls
/u/lintlickerlover [5'3 | CW: 111 | GW: 103 | 21F]
Created: Thu Oct 5 13:38:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74iduy/someone_put_a_muzzle_on_me_and_stop_me_from/
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Ugh I did so well yesterday, just stuck to coffee and cigarettes until I had a cup of wonton soup before I went to sleep. I was so proud of myself and felt so good and skinny and then today I just lost control. I ate a cup of lobster bisque and some crackers in the morning and then had a bowl of rice with soy sauce and a couple bites of curry chicken and another cup of wonton soup. And then I just decided to fuck it and ate bag of cheddar ruffles. I honestly think it was because I didn't drink coffee this morning. Whatever it doesn't matter, I suck and I'm horrible and I have no self control. I just wanna restart this day and keep the momentum I had started yesterday :( I just needed to vent and I figured you guys would be the only ones to understand!
[Rant/Rave] Carb loading to run big race
/u/smallmadscientist [5'2" | SW: 160 | CW: 138 | -22 | GW: 110 | F 23]
Created: Thu Oct 5 13:28:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74ibp7/carb_loading_to_run_big_race/
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I am signed up to run a marathon and I'm reaching the point where I'm going to have to start "carb loading". Right now, I'm happy with how well I've been restricting and maintaining and I'm afraid of messing that cycle up during my carb loading. Any suggestions are welcome
[Rant/Rave] I haven't been too depressed to eat in a while
/u/starvingarthoe
Created: Thu Oct 5 13:27:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74ib9b/i_havent_been_too_depressed_to_eat_in_a_while/
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I'm literally just too sad to eat. I have no appetite. I guess I shpuld take advantage and extend my fast past 24 hours. My grandma might try to beg for me to eat something but there's literally nothing that appeals to me in the house and even if I could afford to eat out there's nothing I want. I just don't want to eat
[Rant/Rave] Not sure how to go about this, but just need to do a quick vent here
/u/elby122
Created: Thu Oct 5 13:26:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74ib1g/not_sure_how_to_go_about_this_but_just_need_to_do/
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Hi, first post on this sub. I'm not very good with talking about this so please bear with me.
I also don't know how to do the flair thing or formatting, sorry!
To start, I'm 5'10 and 27 y.o.
Some back story... When I was 15 I purged for the first time after years of self loathing. It then spiraled into a full blown ED. I stole my parents diet pills and lived on coffee (and later I also learned that smoking helped curb my cravings as well) I became obsessed with my GW and hated the feeling of having a full stomach. Trouble was that I've always loved cooking and baking so thst made things enormously difficult for a while. Long story short, i made it down to 110 and finally felt like I was in control of something in my life (how cliche, I know). It wasn't easy. My parents watched me like a hawk and made sure I could never purge in the house. Plenty of other adolescent tom foolery took place but the details are not important.
I'm losing track of my thoughts here...
Anyway, a few years of this and I eventually met my best friend who also had an ED. She worked hard to lift me up and heal me and I tried my best to reciprocate but failed terribly, I was too sick to focus on anything but myself at that point and she eventually grew out of her ED and later, she grew out of our friendship. It killed me and my life spiraled out of control, so much so that I lost my apartment and had to move (19 at that point) back in with family, where I was able to make somewhat of a recovery.
I was able to stop purging, but the obsession was still there. Didn't help that there was a scale in the bathroom. Having a scale always tempts me back to old habits... but nevertheless, I recovered for the most part. At 24 I made it back up to 147. It made me a little self conscious but I was mostly comfortable with it. Around that time I started counseling and I love it. But that's what brought me here in the first place... like I said, I'm 27 now and I love my counseling. But I'm in a place in my life where everything feels completely up in the air and totally unknown to me and I've fallen back into those old habits. When I've talked to my counselor in the past he's been so supportive but always (obviously) tries to make me work through my ED habits. What's bothering me is that before, up to now, I had been willing to work through the thoughts and impulses. Now, I am afraid of telling him about my recent purging because I'm afraid he'll try to get me to stop again, and this time I don't think I want to stop.
I see how unhealthy it is and it is a huge step backward for me but it's like the ED has taken me over again and I'm tired of fighting. It scares me how good it feels to be doing this again.
tl;dr
Had an ED as a teenager, recovered for almost 10 years but now suddenly relapsing. I have a counselor who has helped prevent me from relapsing in the past but I'm afraid to tell him now because this time I don't think I want to recover and that sort of scares me...
So sorry for all that I guess I'm just looking for some support because i don't know where else to turn with this.
[Rant/Rave] PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
/u/newtoskate [5'8| CW:128.9lbs | BMI:19.6 | 3rd Relapse: 5lbs | F]
Created: Thu Oct 5 13:02:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74i597/public_service_announcement/
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ITS MY BIRTHDAY and I am eating whatever the fuck I want bitches!!!!
(sorry I am excited its one of two days in the year when i don't give a fuck)
[Discussion] What else are you obsessive about?
/u/littlebluecinderella
Created: Thu Oct 5 12:38:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74hzfs/what_else_are_you_obsessive_about/
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Lately, my obsessive/compulsive tendencies are bleeding over into housework. I have a meticulous schedule for keeping my home clean and if I break those rules, I feel so guilty and can’t relax or think about anything else until it’s accomplished. Yeah, it’s extra anxiety, I don’t think this is a negative because the end result is something everyone appreciates. And it’s satisfying to accomplish.
Anyone else relate?
[Discussion] Anyone else doing it for the fashion?
/u/littlebluecinderella
Created: Thu Oct 5 12:33:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74hybc/anyone_else_doing_it_for_the_fashion/
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[removed]
[Help] Can you die from constipation
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 5 11:59:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74hpv7/can_you_die_from_constipation/
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[deleted]
[Other] Liquid fast hauls? Liquid fast hauls.
/u/Taiz_eyes
Created: Thu Oct 5 11:49:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74hnbd/liquid_fast_hauls_liquid_fast_hauls/
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https://i.redd.it/i1752lifu1qz.jpg
[Discussion] Are there any pro ED youtubers?
/u/ineedtogetlighter [5'4 | CW: 150.6 lbs | 3.8 lbs | GW: 120 lbs | Male]
Created: Thu Oct 5 11:45:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74hmcc/are_there_any_pro_ed_youtubers/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I’m finally good at purging!
/u/fluffy-potatoes-
Created: Thu Oct 5 11:32:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74hj5f/im_finally_good_at_purging/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Life is a constant kick to my soul's crotch
/u/Anorexibulemanemia [Height 5'7"| CW 120 | GW 100 | 20M]
Created: Thu Oct 5 11:08:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74hd9r/life_is_a_constant_kick_to_my_souls_crotch/
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I've been bingeing lately and I've been making the charge to stop. It's especially hard to get back into my habits because my room mates are constantly offering me food and telling me I don't eat enough. Last night I fucked up bad. My friend and I made weed tea. It was delicious, but it was far too strong. I ate so much last night that I feel full well into this morning. BUT! I'm not giving up. Every pitfall is an opportunity to climb higher than before. Every time I go to eat from now on, I'll just call on this awful, shitty feeling and associate it with eating. I got this...hopefully. Back in the summer, whenever I got hungry I would just start playing Stardew Valley and then I would look up and it was 6 hours later and time for bed. So maybe I'll just do that. Sorry for this weird rant, I'm still feelin a little foggy. I hope everyone's doing well! Stay safe, y'all. The binges are out there
[Discussion] eating disorders for dummies
/u/recoveryflowerx
Created: Thu Oct 5 10:57:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74haii/eating_disorders_for_dummies/
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I'M BACK (no one cares gabby). Apparently I only come back when I need something.
I'm doing a video on my channel about the uneducated misconceptions people have about EDS. For example, you HAVE to be sickly thin to have an ed. So if you have another idea or a time someone said something uneducated to you about eds post it here and I'll put it in my video! Love you all bye
[Rant/Rave] Crazy ED Food Dreams- anyone else??
/u/diet247x [5'3 | CW 132 | HW 155 | GW 110 | UGW 100 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 5 10:53:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74h9p1/crazy_ed_food_dreams_anyone_else/
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Ugh I literally woke up today with this blaring thought that I have to walk to the store to buy a can of whipped cream, after a very intense dream where I'm eating bowls of apricot jello and whipped cream. Wtf, I don't think I've ever even had apricot jello. Not sure what my brain is doing, but this seems to always happen too me when I restrict below 800 cals for more than a couple days.
Along the same note, I'm so proud. I've been restricting AND exercising. Eating about 800 cals per day and going to a 90 minute hot yoga session daily, adding in 30-45 minutes on elliptical if I feel up to it afterwards. And my body is actually changing! I only lost 4 lbs but I can start seeing definition and everything is shrinking. I am so excited.
Anyone else get weird food dreams?
[Rant/Rave] Someone drank my rice milk!!! :(
/u/artful_heart [5'7.5 | CW 102 | GW 92 | UGW 88 | 16.0 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 5 10:10:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74gz6a/someone_drank_my_rice_milk/
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Weren't we just talking about how shitty it is when people take your safe foods, like, yesterday?
So I had a whole, unopened box of light rice milk in the kitchen fridge. My fiance and I are staying at his friend's super swanky country-club house while we save for our wedding, and the kitchen fridge is "communal property." I should have known better, but no one in that house eats anything that vaguely resembles healthy and we don't have a mini-fridge in our room. Veggies, salads, and vegetarian-fake-meat-stuff has lived happily and untouched in that refrigerator without being touched.
I go to grab some rice milk for my morning coffee, and lo and behold, the rice milk is missing. MISSING. It'd been in there for all of YESTERDAY, unopened. I hunt and I hunt... nope, not there.
A sneaking suspicion grows in me, and I check the trash can. There's my rice milk. There's my EMPTY BIG BOX of rice milk.
Someone used the WHOLE THING. Opened it when it's nothing that's been bought by anyone in that house EVER, drank it or cooked with it or used it for cereal, and tossed it. Or, knowing that it wasn't theirs, tried it, hated it, and dumped it before tossing it - I know who in the house would do this.
I know the two people who might have used my rice milk. I won't confront either, because
1. I don't like confrontation.
2. Everyone's stressed enough that it'll turn into a blow-up.
3. That fridge is "communal" so I really can't complain.
But NO ONE EATS HEALTHY FOOD. It should have been safe.
I opened my other box of rice milk, grumbled to myself as I put some in my coffee, then put it in our room even though you're supposed to refrigerate it after opening... hoping for the best, but so angry that if it goes bad, fine, whatever, at least it's not in someone else's stomach.
I shouldn't be this angry about it. On the outside I, of course, look perfectly calm, because that's what I've trained myself to do. Inside, however, I'm now angry and impatient and bitchy and I hate everything. OVER RICE MILK. I know it's stupid. I know that it was a risky storage option. BUT IT WAS MINE. MY SAFE FOOD. One of the few things that I permit myself.
[Discussion] DAE skip lunch but not breakfast?
/u/luaquiet [5'4" | 132 | 22.7 | f]
Created: Thu Oct 5 10:10:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74gz08/dae_skip_lunch_but_not_breakfast/
---
growing up, I always hated breakfast, and never really ate breakfast until I was like 17. in the throes of my first go with ED, from ages 12-16, I would never eat breakfast and usually skip lunch too if it didn't raise suspicion (couldn't avoid family dinner). my mom at one point tried to force me to drink meal replacement shakes for breakfast but it never stuck because I just never felt hungry in the mornings and didn't feel affected by not eating breakfast. but when I recovered I started eating breakfast, and it's like my body works totally differently now! I'm actually hungry most mornings. I've tried intermittent fasting in recent years where I skip breakfast, and it just makes me shaky. like I'll tremble trying to pour a glass of water in the lead-up to lunch. buuuuuut if I have a nutritious (although still low-cal tbh) breakfast and then skip lunch, I'm fine! no trembling from skipping lunch. it's great because it allows me to appear to eat like a normal person at dinner time. I was worried I couldn't skip meals anymore so I'm glad to have discovered this. does anyone else's body work differently than it used to?
[Discussion] Does anyone else live their life where no one else knows about your struggles?
/u/LostBrokenAndAfraid [5'10 | CW 195 | GW 170 | 70 lbs lost | Male]
Created: Thu Oct 5 10:00:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74gwgs/does_anyone_else_live_their_life_where_no_one/
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Hey y'all. Long time lurker, and I wanted to get more involved with this community. I've been struggling with some form of extreme body dysmorphia/EDNOS for the past 3 years or so. I've never been diagnosed or sought medical treatment for it because it would absolutely ruin me if the people in my life knew I was struggling so much with this.
I can't seek medical treatment. I can't allow others to know that I struggle with this. Every time I tried to discuss with my family about my mental health problems they'd always say something like "You wouldn't have this problem if your heart was right with God." (I'm an atheist and they're all super conservative Christians.)
The thing is, I live a super high functioning life. I get good grades at University, have a job, a social life, etc. Nobody in my life suspects a thing, which seems to make it so much worse.
I'm honestly lost, and I can't deal with myself anymore.
Eating 500 or less calories a day to lose 10 pounds by Halloween.
/u/quartz222 [♡ 5'7 | 144.6 | -5.4 | GW 118 | 19F ♡]
Created: Thu Oct 5 09:48:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74gts7/eating_500_or_less_calories_a_day_to_lose_10/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Veganism & my ED
/u/Raduga15
Created: Thu Oct 5 09:48:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74gtlb/veganism_my_ed/
---
Positives about going vegan:
* The complete trust people give me in regards to obsessive behaviors. I can look at all the nutritional info of something with glee and take as long as I need to without anyone batting an eye. After all, I'm just "looking" for an animal based ingredient. Meanwhile I'm over here dividing the number of servings with the cals to see if it's worth it.
* Weight loss. Obvious one is obvious, but since going vegan weight loss has been an *expected* result and people *expect* me to look like a waifish hippy from the 60s. No one bats an eye at the vegan who loses weight.
* As an omnivore my mom would side eye me if I so much as refused food. Now I can just be like "Sorry, I don't eat cheese/eggs/milk/etc" and because nearly all fattening foods have those ingredients, I can basically get away with avoiding all foods. And no one can get mad. Because it's my freaking moral ideology bro.
* I can get out of awkward lunch invitations by claiming there's nothing for me to eat, or if I do decide to go, all the cheapest calorie options will be naturally vegan. :>
* Even the vegan junk food is like 1/3 the calories. Ice cream, pasta, even Taco Bell... my binge foods have been calorie sliced.
Negatives about going vegan:
* I feel so much more alone than I did before. Kinda like a freak, but also like people are pitying me. Food is definitely more of a focus in my life now.
* It does feed my neuroses. I combat this by being honest with my SO when it gets too overwhelming.
* I feel like a big ol' bother A LOT more. Definitely feel like a nuisance sometimes and like I'm just being "sooo difficult" for other people. I used to pride myself on "going with the flow" but now I get the impression that people see me as uptight and picky.
* So hard to not feel self-righteous about it tbh. But that's just my bad personality. I was the same when I started defining myself as an atheist. I'm working on this by stopping myself from obsessing about other people's actions and my own mistakes. I can't cry in a Taco Bell parking lot just because they put cheese in my burrito (part of it is def. the ED tbh).
* It makes self-harm so easy to justify when I feel I "failed".
Overall it's been good and bad, but mostly good. It's my head, not veganism that's the problem. Damn it brain, lol.
[Help] Hearing problems while restricting?
/u/instantanarchy [5'3 | 150 | 27 | FTM]
Created: Thu Oct 5 09:42:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74gsb0/hearing_problems_while_restricting/
---
Lately I've been having severe ringing in my ears and the occasional "fishbowl" sort of effect in my hearing. The fishbowl thing I recognize as part of my restricting habits from before, probably low blood pressure, but the ringing to this degree is kind of new. Does anyone else here get tinnitus/worse tinnitus while restricting or is this just an independent thing that's happening?
On and off extreme restrictor, calorie counter and jogger. My lowest weight was around 120 at 5'7. I'm sad to say I am far from that weight again. I'm looking for good things to snack on or drink to curb hunger. I'm trying to only eat a small dinner a day, walk 5 plus miles at work and run.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 5 09:40:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74grve/on_and_off_extreme_restrictor_calorie_counter_and/
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[removed]
[Help] I’m really confused rn, please help.
/u/Throwaway412160987
Created: Thu Oct 5 09:39:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74grid/im_really_confused_rn_please_help/
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So yea, I’m really confused about this. Will i get fat if i eat after working out? Yesterday i ate 1,205 calories (ugh fuck school, it messes up my eating patterns) so i went to the gym and did a combo of both running and walking for around 88 minutes. Burned 501 calories. Then my fatass went home and ate half an apple, 3 slices of brown toast with low fat cheese spread. So my total for that day was 1,488 with 296 remaining (according to MFP) but I didn’t end up using the remaining calories. So will I get fat? I’m 5’2.5 and 97 lbs. I’m sorry if this doesn’t belong here, but i’m literally about to pull every single strand of hair on my head bc i’m so puzzled by this. Any help/insight is appreciated.
Edit: i usually eat 1,200 calories per day if that matters.
[Other] Sometimes I look at my clothes and I think "there's no way in hell that fits me."
/u/IceInIridian
Created: Thu Oct 5 09:39:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74grgr/sometimes_i_look_at_my_clothes_and_i_think_theres/
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[removed]
[Help] Is there a substitute you can use for ephedrine in an EC stack?
/u/fortunefeaster
Created: Thu Oct 5 09:28:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74goy6/is_there_a_substitute_you_can_use_for_ephedrine/
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In PA (I'm not sure whether it's like this all over the US) it's really hard to get access to ephedrine since it can be used to make meth. You need to be 21 to buy primatene or bronkaid (both of which contain ephedrine), and as an 18 year old I'm SOL. They also check your ID to keep track of how much you're buying, and while I wouldn't be buying enough to get in trouble, it still makes me pretty nervous. I've heard that you can use a faux version of ephedrine and still have the same effect. Is anyone able to back this up? What else works for you?
[Rant/Rave] I'm losing control
/u/tenderlions751
Created: Thu Oct 5 09:18:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74gmk1/im_losing_control/
---
I guess I should do a little intro of myself before I dive into my rant. I've been counting calories for about 3 years now. My height is 5'4, I went from morbidly obese at 220lbs to my middle school weight now at 119lbs. At first, it started out great and keeping at a healthy calories count of 1300-1500 a day. It's been a long road full of many ups and downs, but as of right now in this past year, I'm in a whole new level of down. My calorie count now a days barely reaches 800.
The stress of a full time job that's in a high stress environment, part time school, finance troubles that's affecting my relationship with my partner, and a big lack of social interactions is really starting to weight me down. Down enough to have myself starve for days, weeks at this point.
I feel like there's no light at the end of the tunnel anymore. Even losing weight makes me unhappy now where before it would be such a high. I rather sleep than eat and when people offer to help I just push them away and get mad. I don't even feel human anymore, just an ugly blob of nothing.
Anyhow that's my rant, kind of long. Sorry.
[Rant/Rave] Unreasonably cometitive
/u/gayishfish [5'7" | CW: embarrassing | BMI: high | -9 lbs | 23F]
Created: Thu Oct 5 09:06:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74gjks/unreasonably_cometitive/
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Does anyone else get like unreasonably competitive when other people are losing or trying to lose weight? They start talking about it and I just want to know everything. Like how they are doing, what they are doing, determining if I can do better and implementing those things. I'm in no position to feel so competitive as I'm a much higher weight than most people here despite having lost a bunch already.
I can't even enjoy being competitive with someone on a friendly level either because everyone hates it. I really want to do better than someone. I sound so extremely shitty for saying that, ugh what is wrong with me!
[Rant/Rave] when people lecture you on your health when they’re in worse shape than you
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 5 09:00:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74gi2i/when_people_lecture_you_on_your_health_when/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] I could either relax my anxiety and eat ORR I could get my anxiety levels up so that I can't physically make myself eat!
/u/cantgetoutofthehole
Created: Thu Oct 5 08:45:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74gepr/i_could_either_relax_my_anxiety_and_eat_orr_i/
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I'm at the point in my life where I have so many conflicting problems but none of them fit together.
I could relax and calm down and have a normal food day. I could.
Or I could purposely let my anxiety levels stay up because when they're high like this I get stomach aches and don't want to eat.
I gained a couple pounds back and I'm actually starting to look bad again. I will admit that i used to look good. Not anymore.
[Other] Just wanted to share my liquid fast haul c: On 38 hours going for 100!💕
/u/gracefullystupid
Created: Thu Oct 5 08:38:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74gd3o/just_wanted_to_share_my_liquid_fast_haul_c_on_38/
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https://i.redd.it/bwubes9ew0qz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] How is this even possible????
/u/abbymakeup [5'1.5" | 125.2 | too high | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 5 07:57:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74g3zh/how_is_this_even_possible/
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Either my body is fucked or my scale doesn't work right. I weighed myself first thing this morning and I was 125.8 (after binging 3 days straight I'm on mobile so I can't change my flair). Well I just had a BM and I thought it'd be funny to weigh myself again and my scale says I'm 126.6 now. How tf did I gain almost a pound just from drinking coffee and having a BM like there's no way that coffee put over a lb on me.
So that leads me to think my scale doesn't work right and now I'm terrified lol. What if I'm fatter than it says I am? Well luckily I'll be getting a job in the next few weeks so I'll have money to buy a new scale. Any recommendations?
[Help] My ears constantly popping?!!
/u/littleavo
Created: Thu Oct 5 07:51:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74g2mc/my_ears_constantly_popping/
---
I'm not sure if this is related to my ed, and was wondering if anyone has any thoughts in it, but since my relapse. My ears are constantly or popping or feel blocked up, even though nothing is in them. If I put earphones in it hurts. It might not be related, but has anyone had a similar experience?
[Rant/Rave] Over by 2,800
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 5 07:50:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74g2hr/over_by_2800/
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[deleted]
Should I trust a whoosh after a fast?
/u/anageecantu
Created: Thu Oct 5 07:39:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74g09u/should_i_trust_a_whoosh_after_a_fast/
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[removed]
[Discussion] What little bits of slack do you cut yourself to stay sane?
/u/bananapeppr [5'3" | 107.8 | 19.6 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 5 07:39:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74g09a/what_little_bits_of_slack_do_you_cut_yourself_to/
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For example, I don't count the calories from my multivitamins but I'm only allowed that if I do my 50 sit ups that day.
[Help] I'm in binge cycle, it's not good for me
/u/Fibreoptic_Calico
Created: Thu Oct 5 07:15:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74fv4z/im_in_binge_cycle_its_not_good_for_me/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Shitty Morning, Shitty Friend.
/u/Soybeansandsprouts [🍌5'5"|107|18.01|GW:105🍉]
Created: Thu Oct 5 07:12:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74fumt/shitty_morning_shitty_friend/
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So I had a really shitty morning. I spent 1 and a half hours getting ready because none of my shorts fit, and I looked ridiculous in everything I put on even with a belt. I felt so disgusting and ugly that part of me considered skipping class (which I never do) but I have to go to work right afterward so that really wasn't an option. Isn't this what I wanted? To be small? I haven't weighed myself in a week because I'm retaining water due to my period, but the fact that all of my shorts are too loose now can only mean that I've gone down.
After sucking it up, I left the house over 30 minutes later than usual and saw my roommate was already on the bus. She asked why I'm running late since I'm usually out of the house before any one else wakes up. I'd like to think we are good friends so I told her that I was having a rough morning and took forever getting ready because everything looked really bad on me. I told her it was just one of those mornings where no matter what you put on, you just look like shit. This woman sighed and rolls her eyes at me.
She said, "But you know that you're attractive?" I've always received a lot of attention from guys/girls so If I'm using that to validate my appearance, yeah there are people who find me good-looking. I said "Well I guess deep down I know I'm not an ugly. I suppose I'm a moderately conventionally attractive person." And she responded with "See this is why I can't take you seriously."
... Guys Wtf. Seriously? Anyone can have a piss poor self-esteem regardless of how attractive they are or aren't. I'm not sure if I'm being moody, but I thought that was kind of a shitty thing to say. Ugh, what did I expect?? I do not like talking about this kind of stuff with other people. I try to keep my body image issues to myself for multiple reasons, but I was on the verge of tears earlier and just wanted to vent cause that's what friends are for, right? In the past, this friend has told me that she doesn't introduce me to her guy friends because she knows they will flirt with me and it makes her feel bad. She specifically said she only has this problem with me though. I now know not go to her with any of my problems, but I've always made myself available to her. She's really dramatic and petty and like to find problems where they don't exist, but I will always hear her out regardless of whether I agree with her or not.
Why do I even bother talking to other people about my feelings. I know I'll be disappointed. So now, I'm feeling really hurt and really ugly :(
[Rant/Rave] Boobs
/u/fuckingusernamee
Created: Thu Oct 5 07:12:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74fufg/boobs/
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I hate my breasts. I HATE feeling them giggle, and bounce, knowing they're filled with fat. I'm only 4'11 and a 32D and have been looking into breast reduction, not because of discomfort but just because they are the only thing on my that isn't getting smaller. I have gone down 2 pant sizes, lost 5 pounds in just a week, and my breasts remain the same. They make me feel disproportionate and disgusting.
Anyway, I'm reaching 24 hours into my fast. I recommend the Vora app if any of you fast for long periods of time and want to track it down to the second.
Weightlessdolls
/u/eggshellss [5'4"| :( | :( | -25 | 24F]
Created: Thu Oct 5 06:58:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74froz/weightlessdolls/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE have this "problem"
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 64.6 kg | BMI: 24 | -18.9 kg | F]
Created: Thu Oct 5 06:36:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74fnab/dae_have_this_problem/
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I noticed that my family and sometimes friends always start to talk to me when my mind is very fuzzy from heavy restricting and/or fasting (though I only fast til evening). Not in the evening when I finally ate and am able to respond, nope always when I'm in my own little world and don't really get that they are even talking to me. I wonder if they even notice that I can't keep up. I really feel sorry for them because they expect a response and I'm just smiling stupidly cause I didn't care or get what they were talking about. Anyone else?
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 05, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Oct 5 06:12:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74fiym/daily_food_diary_october_05_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 05, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support October 05, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Oct 5 06:11:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74fivp/weekly_emotional_support_october_05_2017/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Rant/Rave] How I figured out I could purge hands free? Excessive cocaine use
/u/amoonshapedpool-
Created: Thu Oct 5 05:49:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74ff27/how_i_figured_out_i_could_purge_hands_free/
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This is by no means a tip. During the weekends I usually get 6-9 grams of coke and a bottle of rum. I usually don’t eat during the day of my binge weekend so by the end of it I feel a bit sick. One night I was feeling very nauseous and I just bent over the toilet and flexed my stomach muscles. I can purge this way now but only for the first heave, I have to use fingers for the other times. Life is weird.
[Discussion] October 5th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 5 04:36:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74f3s0/october_5th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What question makes you anxious?
[Rant/Rave] TMW There's progress.
/u/princesss-dae
Created: Thu Oct 5 04:15:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74f0wo/tmw_theres_progress/
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[removed]
Bingeing leads to more bingeing
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 5 04:15:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74f0vz/bingeing_leads_to_more_bingeing/
---
[deleted]
[Help] Genuine Question: Does giving blood consume calories?
/u/AsleepAnvils [5'3" | CW:116 | GW:105 | 20F]
Created: Thu Oct 5 04:00:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74eyun/genuine_question_does_giving_blood_consume/
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Just had a blood test and felt woozy afterwards... started to get curious lmao
Hi I'm new!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 5 02:56:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74eq8e/hi_im_new/
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[deleted]
How can I purge when I don't have a gag reflex?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 5 01:31:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74efq2/how_can_i_purge_when_i_dont_have_a_gag_reflex/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Sometimes I think I look banging
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Thu Oct 5 00:48:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74ea0q/sometimes_i_think_i_look_banging/
---
[removed]
[Intro] Haven't posted in a long time, updates.
/u/Space-Punk [5'11" | 21.58 | -86lbs | M]
Created: Thu Oct 5 00:33:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74e804/havent_posted_in_a_long_time_updates/
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Quick backstory on my situation. I went from an obese BMI to a healthy one in about five months, losing 75-ish pounds. Then I went on a six-month-long binge cycle but I managed to maintain my weight by yo-yo-ing between restriction and eating "normally." I've really been struggling mentally the last few months because I wanted to restrict but couldn't seem to make myself. It was incomprehensible to me how I managed to eat >700 calories a day because I couldn't force myself to stop before 2000. Now with Halloween coming up and having plans with friends I haven't seen in a year, something in my brain seemed to click and I'm back full force. I've lost another ten pounds in the last fifteen days.
I'm still mentally conflicted though. When I look at my body I don't think I'm going to look the way I want to at my goal weight. My UGW has always been 130 (which would put me just at underweight) but I only have about 20 more pounds to go and I don't see my body changing as much as I want it to. I feel like my stomach is so flabby, I think I need to build muscle but to do that I'd need to eat way more and even though I might lose fat I don't think I could handle it if my weight went up.
I was watching transformation videos on YouTube, my favorite kind of thinspo because most of the male ones always start with a super skinny guy who ends up buff and the before pictures are always my goals. This one guy (5'11'' like me) started at 112lbs and his body was literally everything I long to be, but that would have put him at a BMI of 15 and from what I've read online that is the SUPER dangerous side of dangerously low. I'm not sure how he managed to maintain that, perhaps just blessed by genetics but I'm worried that if I make that my new goal I'm going to run into serious health issues.
So that's my update on my mind, body, and life. It sounds sick but my main motivator right now is seeing my aforementioned friend on Halloween. She knows about my ED but I feel like she's never taken it too seriously. Last time she saw me I'd only lost about 20lbs so I want to be as skinny as fucking possible before seeing her again because I want her to worry about me. Is that fucked up? I felt more loved by everyone when they were telling me I was getting "too thin" but that all stopped when I fell into maintenance. Idk.
[Discussion] Camping foods?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: who knows? | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 4 23:35:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74dzuq/camping_foods/
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My boyfriend and I are going camping this weekend. We can basically only bring prepackaged foods since fires aren't allowed where we're going. Does anyone have suggestions for foods that would work? I'm thinking lots of Quest and Epic bars but I'm trying to think of other, more "normal" things as well.
[Rant/Rave] The last straw is my pipe
/u/AngelicZero [5'5.5"| fat | -39 | 115 | 3 Days BF]
Created: Wed Oct 4 23:28:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74dytc/the_last_straw_is_my_pipe/
---
My car was leaking mysteriously. That fucking sucked. At least I know what's wrong. Hopefully I can fix it soon.
Whatever this "relationship" is sucks. He is so self centered and has no interest in anyone's feelings beside his own.
My cat was getting in my lap because we were watching tv and his dog lunged at my cat and scared him. My cat ran away and knocked over my pipe and the jar I put my ashes in.
No, "Sorry. " or any condolences. I blame his dog. My cat wasn't doing anything to instigate that. Now my first pipe ever is broken.
It hurts that it's broken. Hurts that I am feeling so down and alone. Hurts the most that he didn't even care to offer help pick up all the glass. Just sat and ignored me while I cleaned everything up.
At least my water cup isn't broken. I guess that's one thing. I'm gonna keep crying into my pillow.
I feel numb. And to top it all off I ate 900 fucking calories today. Why'd I drink a beer??? Why'd I eat 4 fried tomatoes when I could've had none? I gave myself two bratwursts. Why couldn't that be enough for greedy ass me???? Why? Huh?
I fucking hate life right now. Why do my parents have to be so far? I just want my mom to hold me.
[Discussion] Birth Control Questions
/u/loseitjen [5'8" | CW: 135 | GW: 125| F 21]
Created: Wed Oct 4 23:21:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74dxvm/birth_control_questions/
---
So this might be weird but obviously we're all a little weird lol. So I take my birth control at 10pm. It's honestly the best time for me cause I know I'll be awake and at home. But that means if I binge after 10, purging could be an issue. I'm just curious if anyone knows what time would be safe to purge without worrying about my birth control losing its effect. I truly don't want to purge I just want to know that if I freak and do purge there's a chance I'll get pregnant. So basically, anyone know how long it takes for it to be effective? Or how many hours I should wait to purge? Thanks so much
[Rant/Rave] tfw you're 40 calories over your limit by 12:14 AM
/u/throwgdjjbdyjj [5'6 /// 112 /// F ]
Created: Wed Oct 4 23:14:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74dwrm/tfw_youre_40_calories_over_your_limit_by_1214_am/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] New Coke Zero Sugar!!!
/u/Talvie [5'9 | 146 | 21 | -34lb | F]
Created: Wed Oct 4 21:39:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74dgrk/new_coke_zero_sugar/
---
So Coke "fixed" their product and can we just talk about how amazing it is?! It doesn't taste like aspartame and it's so refreshing because diet soda is all I have for dessert. It's witchcraft I'm telling you. Even my boyfriend who despises artificial sweeteners actually enjoyed a can. The only down side is now I'll always be paranoid if I got normal coke or Coke Zero when I go out :(.
[Help] I cannot stop stress eating
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 193 lb | GW: 120 lb | 22F]
Created: Wed Oct 4 21:15:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74dclx/i_cannot_stop_stress_eating/
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So in my field, grad school is known for it's high stress, anxiety, and depression rates- it's a lot of hard work that's closely scrutinized, Literally everyone else's job is to pick apart your data to find flaws in logic, or inconsistencies, or false correlations- Plus I have a grant proposal and my qualifying exam fast approaching. I'm usually in lab between 9 and 10 hours a day, plus a few hours on the weekends, and I'm seriously eating all my feelings right now.
I just had a giant apple fritter, plus two donuts, an apple, and a hunk of cheese, plus I don't even know for sure how many slices of pizza today at journal club.
Even though nowadays my "binge days" at most bring me 2-300 kcal over my TDEE, usually still 4-500 under. I just feel like such a pig, I'm not losing weight (though at least I'm not gaining).
I feel like I'm always gonna be a fat fuck because I can't fuckin help myself. I lost like 25 lb in I think 3 months, an now I've just stagnated for the past month. Ugh I can feel my belly on my lap right now, I seriously wish I could get back to restricting and just wither away :'(
[Discussion] unusual smell / other side effects from supplements &multi-vitamins
/u/vio1et_ [🏹 157cm | 45.7kg]
Created: Wed Oct 4 20:57:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74d99i/unusual_smell_other_side_effects_from_supplements/
---
tl;dr: I think my new supplement is making me smell like a chemical. Can anyone relate?
- - - - - - -
Hey guys. Let’s talk supplements.
I’ve been taking a multi (Source Naturals Women’s Life Force Multiple, No Iron) semi-regularly for several months now. I know that supplements are dosed way higher than necessary, so instead of the recommended dose (3 per day) I usually take one or sometimes 2 per day. Some days I forget.
Recently I decided to add a hair, skin, &nails supplement to my routine. I ordered a bottle (Nature’s Bounty, Optimal Solutions, Hair, Skin, and Nails, Extra Strength Rapid Release Liquid Softgels) on iHerb and it arrived early this week. Again the dosage said to take 3 but I decided to start with 1. I took it in the evening (with food) and later went to bed.
I woke up around 5:30am (this is normal for me) to go pee. When I came back into my bedroom I noticed a strange smell. It smelled like ammonia. I actually turned on the lights to check if a cat or something had somehow got in and peed somewhere (lmao I live on the third floor). Eventually I was like fuck it, and went back to sleep until my alarm. The smell still lingered around 8am. I figured it was some weird fluke, and left some windows open to air out the room while at work.
That day I again took both supplements, and the next morning the same thing happened. So I got suspicious. There was no evidence of an external cause, and the only new thing about my environment was the H,S,&N supplement. The thing is, my body didn’t smell like ammonia, just the air in the room did. My sheets, my clothes, my skin, even armpits (tmi) all fine. But I still figured it must be coming from me. So I decided not to take the supplement that day and lo and behold the next morning: no smell.
- - - - - - -
My question is... have any of you ever experienced anything like this? Like, what in the actual fuck? Googling “I smell like ammonia” brings up all kinds of End-of-the-World scenarios but I get the feeling I’m not literally dying.
Any anecdotes you can share on the subject? Any chemists among us with an explanation? Or have you experienced other weird side effects from supplements?
Let’s have a chat. 💊🤔
- - - - - - -
**btw disclaimer, I know none of y’all are doctors and I’m not seeking medical advice, more just curious and inquiring if anyone else has a story to share or has had an experience like this** 😊
[Rant/Rave] literally don't see any progress/difference?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18| f | 22]
Created: Wed Oct 4 19:48:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74cvre/literally_dont_see_any_progressdifference/
---
i can't see any visible weight loss and it's making my body dysmorphia violently bad. every time i eat, i feel like i can literally *see* myself gaining weight. my thigh gap is pretty much gone on my upper thighs, and i need to lose 5 pounds to get back to my ideal weight. i eat around 500-800 calories per day, but i still don't see any progress whatsoever. my tdee (sedentary, which i'm not) is about 1,400 and i know that i'm keeping under that (except for a few days, but could that really be the cause?). i feel so disgusting, my cheeks feel so chubby and i hate the way my thighs look in my jeans. idk it's really disappointing to realize that i'm not losing weight despite such heavy restriction.
[Discussion] DAE have a problem with eating even safe foods?
/u/cookiecutterhands
Created: Wed Oct 4 19:46:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74cvc6/dae_have_a_problem_with_eating_even_safe_foods/
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I usually allow myself ~300-400 calories a day, but here lately, I haven't been able to eat anything completely. For example, I've been waiting all day to be able to eat my Healthy Choices Cafe Steamer and once it was cooked and in front of me, I couldn't eat more than half of it even though it's only 280 calories.
[Rant/Rave] Old pictures :(
/u/posyposer [5'4 | 128 | 22.0 | -45 | f]
Created: Wed Oct 4 19:31:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74csd2/old_pictures/
---
Ugh!!!! So today I was looking through the pics on my finsta, which I mostly use for posting pics of myself or people I love and commenting about how stressed out I am, and I saw a pic I posted in jeans and a bralette. I felt so pretty when I took that picture and I remember looking at my body and actually feeling ~thin~. But since then I’ve lost 10 lbs, and it’s made a noticeable difference on how boney I look without my shirt on. I look at that picture and I just see every inch of fat and feel terrible. It really makes me hate myself right now! I want to share a before and after but I’m feeling insecure and I don’t want to look like a fatass 😵 ughhhhhhhh I hate mirrors
[Help] What are some appetite-suppressant drinks similar to energy drinks?
/u/water_77
Created: Wed Oct 4 19:19:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74cq18/what_are_some_appetitesuppressant_drinks_similar/
---
I find that energy drinks like monster/rockstar really suppress my appetite - I can go all day with just drinking 2 and eating nothing, probably because of the carbonation or caffeine or something. But I no longer drink them because they're very acidic and sugary and my enamel is decreasing, therefore slowly making my teeth more sensitive and painful when I bite. So I'm looking for other non-acidic, low/no sugar drinks that suppress appetite.
I don't care about the calorie content of the drinks at this point I just want it to not be acidic, and not sugary. Also obviously it needs to suppress appetite.
Is there such a drink or am I wishing for the impossible?
[Discussion] What have you used/ found effective?
/u/IvoryBoneGoddess
Created: Wed Oct 4 19:08:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74cnxa/what_have_you_used_found_effective/
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[removed]
[Other] Gym motivation
/u/gettingagrip4 [5'3" | Baby Hippo | 22 | -70 | 31F]
Created: Wed Oct 4 19:05:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74cna2/gym_motivation/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Even my cat likes me better now that I'm losing weight.
/u/Panda_Melody [5'5 | CW: 129.0| BMI: 21.72|HW: 168 | LW: 108 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 4 19:01:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74cmhq/even_my_cat_likes_me_better_now_that_im_losing/
---
[removed]
[Help] How many calories in this weird granola? It says 1 bar serving but four servings per bar!?
/u/kid_crad
Created: Wed Oct 4 18:58:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74clz9/how_many_calories_in_this_weird_granola_it_says_1/
---
https://i.redd.it/iia9zp37uwpz.jpg
[Other] Just thank you
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1.5" | cw 160 | gw 145 | ugw 100 | -10]
Created: Wed Oct 4 18:51:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74ckf8/just_thank_you/
---
I just realized that this is the only online community I'm still active in. My anxiety has gotten so out of control, and everything else triggers me so badly. Stylized instagram photos reminding me that I'm fat and my life is dull. Facebook feels like everyone is yelling at me about something. And twitter, which had been my last beacon of hope really has now just become the place we all try to be witty about our shared impending sense of doom, but my mind is filled with enough doom already. I come here and you support me if I ask you to, which I'm usually way too afraid to do. I find solidarity here. Nobody yells at me here. This has truly become my soft place to land and that's important for me, so thank you.
[Rant/Rave] Of all the things he could notice about my body, why that one?
/u/littlebluecinderella
Created: Wed Oct 4 18:40:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74ciay/of_all_the_things_he_could_notice_about_my_body/
---
This is going to sound tiny. But after making so many big hard decisions and changes and struggling and agonizing over every one to be more beautiful, he notices my cuticles.
“You really need to stop picking at your nail beds.”
Why did this shatter me?
Hello spiral, my old friend...
[Discussion] Any OGs here notice that what once was ED is now "healthy" in mainstream culture?
/u/GailaMonster
Created: Wed Oct 4 18:25:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74cf5q/any_ogs_here_notice_that_what_once_was_ed_is_now/
---
I'm likely older than the average bear here (i'm in my 30's). I've been active in various online ED communities over the years, as well as paying attention to diet/fitness trends/fads with bemused interest (like any other ED person likely does).
I'm noticing that lots and lots of people are talking about IF feeding and fasting patterns that I would have had to hide from loved ones, lest they freak out.
For example, I struggle with binge/fast cycles - I can eat everything, or I can eat nothing, but I struggle to eat a moderate amount. right now, i'm basically eating one 2,000-2,500 cal mini-binge/binge every other day, and that's it. Eat like a fatty once every other day, fast the rest of time. it actually averages out to about 1,000-1,300 cals per day.
20 years ago, anyone hearing I do that would think me a total coocoo-bananas weirdo who is abusing my body to an early grave.
Now, all of a sudden, i can just say i'm on a 40/8 IF cycle ("to maintain insulin sensitivity, as type II diabetes runs in my family"), and people think i'm a health and fitness guru.
No real point here, other than to remind folks that what is "healthy" today and what is "healthy" in 20 years can look radically different, so just because your eating patterns are unorthodox, don't beat yourself up over it. You might just be ahead of your time LOL!
[Rant/Rave] Not eating anything but dinner
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 4 17:58:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74c9gw/not_eating_anything_but_dinner/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] My mom saw me looking around in the fridge and decided to make dinner :(
/u/IsAFailure [5'6 | CW: 121lbs | GW: 110 | 19.61 | -9 | M]
Created: Wed Oct 4 17:56:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74c932/my_mom_saw_me_looking_around_in_the_fridge_and/
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Whenever I do that it means, my stomach wants something but I don't want anything so I'm going to go back up into my room and be happy about not eating. She caught me looking in the fridge and decided to make dinner...
She made a favorite of mine (before ED) which is fried pizza rolls but she ALSO decided to make goddamn French fries.
In my family I notoriously eat a ton of food but now whenever they see me eat it's because I didn't eat anything the rest of the day so I could look normal. Problem is, today I had already eaten all I wanted to eat and then to look normal I ate what I "normally" would... 1215~ calories for dinner.
Guess it's a purge kinda night :(
Edit: Sorry for forgetting to flair, mods
[Help] What actually is sedentary vs. lightly active?
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 91.6lbs | BMI 16.75 | 20F]
Created: Wed Oct 4 17:27:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74c2yt/what_actually_is_sedentary_vs_lightly_active/
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I don't really know how to put myself into online TDEE calculators because I can't really define my activity level.
I don't play sports and I don't go to the gym. I sit in classes most of the day, but I also walk around campus a lot each day to and from classes. Is this technically lightly active or is that still considered sedentary because I don't actually set aside a work out?
[Help] Have any of you guys quit sugar?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 4 17:25:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74c2oc/have_any_of_you_guys_quit_sugar/
---
[deleted]
[Help] So I'm thinking about upping my calories limit...
/u/ultravi0lent [5' | CW: 139.2 lbs | SW: 211 | GW: nothing but bones | F]
Created: Wed Oct 4 16:42:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74bt5r/so_im_thinking_about_upping_my_calories_limit/
---
I've been plateauing for weeks, which frustrated me a lot and made me binge a few times... I've eaten 5,000 calories two days ago, binged yesterday as well and I'm just sick of it. I gained a bit, threw up a lot and overall felt like shit.
I've been eating 800 calories a day for the last few months (with some maintenance days - but binging is a brand new behavior of mine!) and I'm thinking about starting to eat 1,000 calories a day until I can talk about binge eating to my psychologist. It feels so humiliating to me talking to her about that, but I need to stop that fucking behavior and try to get back into restriction... I just hope I will be able to talk about the issue without bringing up the fact I usually eat 800 calories a day.
It's just extremely hard for me to take that decision knowing that eating more than what my ED brain wants me to might trigger a binge and will definitely bring up self-hate. It’s just so hard for me to eat ‘’that much’’, especially when I haven’t lost weight in a while and when I feel I just don’t deserve it – au contraire, since I gained I feel like I should fast and all.
[Discussion] What are some things you hate/cringe about in regards to most ED communities?
/u/jjfmish [5'6 | HW:163lbs CW:150lbs GW:120lbs | 19/F]
Created: Wed Oct 4 16:07:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74bllk/what_are_some_things_you_hatecringe_about_in/
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[Discussion] Anyone nervous about university?
/u/stinkybird
Created: Wed Oct 4 15:23:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74bbth/anyone_nervous_about_university/
---
I am 17, this has been an issue in my life for a few years now. How am I going to survive in college? I hope the broke college student thing is right, so I don't eat. That sounds horrible sorry
[Help] How can I maintain my goal weight? Is it possible/have any of you been able to maintain being underweight for a long period of time?
/u/thescarletlettergirl [5'3 | CW 108 | 19.1 | 18 F |]
Created: Wed Oct 4 15:23:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74bbot/how_can_i_maintain_my_goal_weight_is_it/
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I am currently about 13 pounds from my goal weight of 95 lbs, which puts me at a bmi of 16.8. I have been doing very heavy restriction for quite awhile of 500 calories or less a day. I have lost about 15 pounds so far. I want to get to my goal weight and be able to eat somewhat normally because I can't keep up restricting forever it's exhausting and I just want to reach my goal and be able to live a somewhat normal life and be mostly recovered...desperately. Can I maintain on say, 1,200 calories or is that far too much coming from a past of restriction and being underweight? I have been bouncing between anorexia and bulimia since I was 14 and I never reached my goal weight, but I just want to reach my goal and be happy and normalish for once in my life. Any advice or experience helps thanks. I've used the BMR calculators, and it's giving me mixed results and I don't really trust it.
[Help] Why is it sometimes randomly impossible to purge for no apparent reason?
/u/ineedtogetlighter [5'4 | CW: 150.6 lbs | 3.8 lbs | GW: 120 lbs | Male]
Created: Wed Oct 4 15:13:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74b9gi/why_is_it_sometimes_randomly_impossible_to_purge/
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[removed]
[Discussion] How much Diet Coke do y'all drink?
/u/anageecantu
Created: Wed Oct 4 15:07:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74b81c/how_much_diet_coke_do_yall_drink/
---
I've been relying it as an appetite suppressant but having been formerly addicted to Coke I'm hesitant to drink a lot of it.
Where the Hell is the Bronkaid?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 4 14:57:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74b5bj/where_the_hell_is_the_bronkaid/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] What are your favorite ED related songs?
/u/ineedtogetlighter [5'4 | CW: 150.6 lbs | 3.8 lbs | GW: 120 lbs | Male]
Created: Wed Oct 4 14:55:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74b4xp/what_are_your_favorite_ed_related_songs/
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Looking for some more music!
I'll start with some of mine
Pompeii - Numbers
Marianas Trench - Skin and Bones
Picture Me Broken - Skin and Bones
Look forward to listening to some of your guys' music!
[Other] Received a bag of matcha I ordered online. Flipped it over to read the nutritional information and almost freaked until I realized that for some reason it's expecting you to mow down 30g of the straight powder at a time (about 1/8 of the bag)
/u/Funktionierende [25F | 5'2" | CW131.2lbs | SW185lbs | GW100lbs | BMI24]
Created: Wed Oct 4 14:54:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74b4qg/received_a_bag_of_matcha_i_ordered_online_flipped/
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https://i.redd.it/hlddx5rgmvpz.jpg
[Discussion] Retaining water after exercise?
/u/edgy-af
Created: Wed Oct 4 14:42:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74b1t7/retaining_water_after_exercise/
---
I’ve been exercising a lot lately (~600 cals a day, this is a lot to me, idk about you guys) and eating a relatively normal amount (1200 calories). The scale has not moved. I’m assuming it’s mostly due to water retention from the exercise, because it never happened when I was just restricting a lot. Should I drink more water? Will it remedy itself if I just wait? It just makes me nervous, not seeing the number of the scale go down.
[Discussion] fasting & purging
/u/littlejanedoe- [5'1" |CW:122lbs | GW:115lbs | F]
Created: Wed Oct 4 14:37:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74b0ic/fasting_purging/
---
For those of you who fast. If you break your fast but purge 90% within 30min do you still reset your fast or continue on because its such limited calories ?
[Rant/Rave] I made my own stationary bike desk!
/u/Panda_Melody [5'5 | CW: 129.0| BMI: 21.72|HW: 168 | LW: 108 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 4 14:30:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74aym7/i_made_my_own_stationary_bike_desk/
---
so i was browsing through craigslist and found a super cute stationary bike for sale for $15.... thats right. 15 fucking dollars!!!!
I thought, "this has to be to good to be true" and the only thing wrong with it it that the dummy who owned it before me let the battery box thing corrode so the electrical part of telling how far you've biked doesn't work, but the whole point of the bike (peddling)
works just fine.
the next stop was the hardware store, where i picked up a few simple pieces of PVC piping.
a bit of trial, error, a second trip to the hardware store and a crap load of super glue later....
my beautiful stationary bike desk was born! and all for only $30
(i think last i checked they were like $300 on amazon)
gone are the days of
-laying down watching netflix on my couch or bed
-sitting down not peddling studying on my laptop
-doing any kind of siting (except on the toilet) without biking.
and according to myfitnesspal lazy biking "low effort" will still burn me a supposed 374 calories an hour! (of course ED brain changes that to 100 because i don't trust it.)
I'll post a pic later this week when i figure out how to post a pic... lol
[Discussion] fasting and purging?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 4 14:19:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74avzg/fasting_and_purging/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] DAE front-load all of their calories via 5-6 small meals/snacks? Why am I so hungry all the time??
/u/GreenDelilah [5'2'' | 87.4 | 16.1 | F | 🍑 @GreenDelilah]
Created: Wed Oct 4 14:13:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74aug9/dae_frontload_all_of_their_calories_via_56_small/
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So I've been stuck on the "binge" part of a binge-restrict cycle for the past three weeks and trying to get out of it. I developed anxiety issues where I try to avoid feeling hunger because I fear it'll lead to binges. But this is starting to become counterproductive as I'm just eating the same amount/more calories as binges by eating so many meals/snacks.
Here's a typical day:
I start eating around 7:30AM before I get to work around 9. Then I eat again around 10. Then a larger meal around 12 or 1. A snack around 3. Another snack/small meal around 5. Then I pray walking home that I don't binge once I get to my apartment and (usually) am able to stop eating for the rest of the day.
But I don't know why I'm SO. DANG. HUNGRY. all the time.
Anyone else go through something similar and can give me some advice? Did larger meals help? Supplements to stop the constant hunger? How to cope with anxiety issues?
[Rant/Rave] The feeling of being physically full is making me binge
/u/itscirclejerky [5'5 | CW: repulsive| 21.43 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 4 14:11:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74au16/the_feeling_of_being_physically_full_is_making_me/
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Since I've gotten back to school I've been eating at 800 kcal per day, which is the same as I was eating during summer, as I stress binged all the weight I had lost in the summer.
I previously didn't have a problem eating at 800 earlier the year (despite looking like a corpse) and it took a little while to adjust back to eating what I consider regularly but I've found what I feel comfortable with now that I'm a month back into school.
However, whenever I eat and feel psychially full (like the food feels like a rock in my stomach) it always triggers a binge. This doesn't happen with liquids since I chug my tea in the morning so I can rush to school and feel a little nauseous but certainly not in a 'I'll eat a horse but only if it says okay' mood.
I guess I could say I intermittent fast? I eat breakfast around 7:30ish and usually have nothing until I get home around 4, then refuse to have anything after 8. Although, this is still perfect time to consume all the pistachios, baklava and BBQ sauce in the house.
I've been toying with the idea of skipping breakfast and having something small (like a Fibre One bar) at lunch then just having all my calories when I get home, or just exclusively living off liquids.
The problem is, if I lived off liquids, what would my diet look like? Protein shakes, tea, coffee and kids mini snack things? I've heard of a few people only eating soft foods, so I'll be interested in hearing about that if anyone would like to share.
[Discussion] the whoosh feels amazing.
/u/idkaboutusername [F/15/5’3 | CW: 141lbs LW: 115lbs GW: 118lbs]
Created: Wed Oct 4 14:05:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74ascw/the_whoosh_feels_amazing/
---
yesterday, after a binge, i was 145lbs. this morning i woke up, weighed myself, and i was at 139lbs. i have no idea how this happened, but i’m super proud of myself. what goals do you guys have in terms of your weight, exercise, and calorie goals?
[Discussion] Anyone over 30 in here and hasn't ever been their goal weight? Or reached it in their 30s and give me hope?
/u/FastingLAgirl [158cm | CW: ask me in a month | 31F]
Created: Wed Oct 4 13:59:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74aqvg/anyone_over_30_in_here_and_hasnt_ever_been_their/
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Hi, I am 31 and worried I will never reach my goal weight. My weight has always been up and down, recently my mom who was overweight her entire life (270s lbs) is down to 100ISH and has kept it off for about 5 years @ 51. She looks amazing, like a brand new person.
I was closer to my goal weight, everyone cheered me on (except my mom who said I look best at 140 (I'm 5'2") and disagree, then Idk everyone. I gained everything and some back. I was literally the lowest I have been since middle school (which was 120ISH). My goal is actually 90/89...but since I've never been small I'm not even sure what my goal is. I don't know what this post is, I just need hope. :(
[Rant/Rave] Going to my parents house...
/u/emmylou_lou
Created: Wed Oct 4 13:56:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74aq6f/going_to_my_parents_house/
---
I really have no point to this post other than bitching to people who get it. Also this is my first post here. Not really looking for anything other than understanding from people who might relate.
So a week from tomorrow I’m going to my parents house and both my parents always seem to be happier with me when I’m skinny. Just over 5 months ago I quit using meth and I went from 105 to 130 and it was horrible, but at the same time really necessary because meth is straight up the devil. In June we went to Hawaii and I felt like complete garbage being in a swimsuit and my parents noticed my weight gain and they didn’t say anything but they were really encouraging when I said I wanted to lose weight.
Side note: my mom is 100 pounds and 5’1” and my dad is an obsessive swimmer and yo-yo dieter. They’ve denied my eating disorder ever since it started when I was 14 because they seem to have disordered eating themselves.
I’m currently at 118 but I really fucking hate that it’s coming off so slow because on the weekends I end up eating close to 1500 a day because my boyfriend always makes me food. I really want to lose like 5 pounds this week and it’s just really stressing me out. Not to mention my sister has gained a ton of weight and she gets super competitive with me and that’s just uncomfortable.
This is all just been giving me hella anxiety and I needed to get it out of my head because I’m a stress eater and I live in dorms and can’t start purging again, nor do I really want to.
Edit: sorry for rambling. Idk I feel super lonely right now and just figured I should try venting here.
[Other] is anyone else really active on peach?
/u/peenut_buttah
Created: Wed Oct 4 13:44:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74amzr/is_anyone_else_really_active_on_peach/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Finally ate below my goal calories for the first time in months🤑
/u/dying222
Created: Wed Oct 4 13:23:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74ahwr/finally_ate_below_my_goal_calories_for_the_first/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] 5’9, 116 lbs and this is what my fucking legs look like...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 4 13:22:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74ahkb/59_116_lbs_and_this_is_what_my_fucking_legs_look/
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https://i.redd.it/q65bk9g86vpz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Shit shit shit fuck fuck fuck [WARNING, way too gross]
/u/yesyeshihello [157cm | CW: 43.7kg | BMI: 17.73 | 27F]
Created: Wed Oct 4 12:50:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74a9ia/shit_shit_shit_fuck_fuck_fuck_warning_way_too/
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D: what the hell is happening with me!!!
I broke a glass. It's not expensive or anything but it's everyone's favorite glass and there's only two of them and now everyone's gonna know.
I ate and I was so hungry I ate again and kept eating and then I said I was going to shower and I took the glass because it's big and I drank all the water and then decided it was a good idea to use it to purge and just go back and forth between the shower with the glass to cover the noise and the toilet to pour it out and it was actually great because I could see what was coming out and when I was done I was happy and I showered and cleaned up and RIGHT AS I'M ABOUT TO LEAVE THE BATHROOM the glass falls and breaks and I freaked out and picked up the pieces and hid it in the trash can.
Oh god. Why am I purging again D': what is wrong with me...
[Help] Deli salads: dressings, calories, good options, etc.
/u/overweightandstress [5'8 | CW: 144 lb | BMI: 21.4 | GW: 127 lb| F]
Created: Wed Oct 4 12:38:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74a6mu/deli_salads_dressings_calories_good_options_etc/
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Hi guys!
1. How do you estimate the calories in made to order chopped salads at delis?
2. What's the best/lowest calorie dressing?
3. Any good, low-cal combos you guys would recommend?
Thank you! x
[Intro] Lurked for a few days, now saying hello
/u/artful_heart [5'7.5 | CW 102 | GW 92 | UGW 88 | 16.0 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 4 12:29:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74a4gz/lurked_for_a_few_days_now_saying_hello/
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I've been reading this subreddit for several days, and finally created a reddit account so that I can join the community all proper-like. I used to lurk MPA and PrettyThin, but those have gone seriously downhill over the last few years, so I'm glad to have found this place.
I've been anorexic my entire life; I was raised by a mother who was anorexic but didn't realize it, grew up a ballerina, was a model for some years (until, at a weight of 88, my agency wanted me to drop ten more pounds and I knew that I wouldn't be able to function at that weight, so I quit), and have never shaken the need to remain lithe. It's almost my thing - being very thin, overdoing things to prove that I'm also very strong, and being a performer & creator... these are the three things that I'm known for, lol.
My fiance, whom I met doing a show in Vegas, absolutely loves super thin women and, unfortunately, contributes to my disorder in a multitude of ways (always talking about wanting to lose weight himself, and yeah, he could stand to drop 20lbs to reach his ideal BMI - caressing my bones and regaling my thigh gap, etc.). I both love it and frown about it. He thinks that I'm the most beautiful woman he's ever met, but he's never seen me at a weight lower than 98lbs - knowing his tastes, he'll love my body when he sees it at a more "optimal" (to me) weight.
I go through occasional periods of pseudo-recovery, where I eat without paying attention to calorie counts and generally "baloon" up to 108-112 lbs, but I hate the way my body looks at that weight. I know that even that is under a "healthy" BMI, but my brain doesn't care. I'm happiest around 92lbs, though I do want to get back to my "modeling weight" of 88lbs - I, to myself and my agency and those who hired me, looked GOOD.
So now, having moved away from Vegas a few months ago, I'm running a small art shop for a friend while my fiance and I plan our wedding, and it's a lot of sitting. My body doesn't like sitting for 8-12 hours a day, and I'm finally inspired to get back into doing at least *something* every day. I'm at 102lbs right now, and although my fiance thinks I'm beautiful, I don't want him seeing me naked.
Like, I think, many, I both love and hate my disorder. I have a psych degree; I should know better. But I also have body dismorphia and place a fair chunk of my self-worth in my appearance, am a perfectionist, and use my body size and appearance to both control my own world and express myself. So, yeah, there's all that. Um, hello.
[Rant/Rave] Fasting, school and mental health
/u/10299201
Created: Wed Oct 4 11:52:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/749v28/fasting_school_and_mental_health/
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So usually I'm okay with fasting. Well, it's not fun or anything but I can get through it.
But for some reason this time it's really messing up my mood. Earlier today I randomly fell into a pattern of self-hating thoughts and almost considered cutting again.
Now normally I could deal with all of this, but it's midterm season and I'm getting down to work. It feels like I can't simultaneously lose weight and do well in school. If I restrict calories, my mind becomes fuzzy, I get tired easily, I can't focus and i get headaches. If I let myself eat, I end up devouring everything I see. It's such a hassle.
[Rant/Rave] i am not making much money so i have no choice but to starve
/u/Pinkdiamondsx
Created: Wed Oct 4 11:11:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/749l0v/i_am_not_making_much_money_so_i_have_no_choice/
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i actually wished for this like a year ago...and now i do not know how to feel about it...i used to have binge eating disorder and food addiction but now i haven't had the opportunity to even buy junk food in a long time all because of my financial situation. i thought i would be happy but i feel like so shitty. i feel empty inside without my comfort food. i want to cry. i know there is more to life than food...but is there really something as BEAUTIFUL as food though? did anyone else wish they were broke so they couldnt buy food?
[Discussion] How many calories does it take to really maintain a LW?
/u/neighborhood-yandere [5'3 | CW: 103lbs | UGW: 90lbs | F]
Created: Wed Oct 4 11:03:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/749izl/how_many_calories_does_it_take_to_really_maintain/
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I'm conflicted. Because of disordered thinking, I keep thinking that to maintain 88 lbs or 90 lbs, I need to consistently eat 500 calories. But I heard that to maintain that weight, you can eat up to 800 calories a day, and even then, you'll still be losing?
I'm 5'3 and currently 100 lbs, but can anyone of the same height and who has weighed around 88-92 lbs let me know what your real maintenance calories was when you're at that weight? I'm so confused right now. I genuinely don't believe it can be 800 calories or over, especially if you're on the shorter-average height like me.
PS: Not a dieting question, but I need to reframe how I think about maintenance calories.
[Help] Water weight questions
/u/livelikesinners
Created: Wed Oct 4 10:41:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/749dpv/water_weight_questions/
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Does anybody how long on average it takes for water weight to go away? And how to tell if what you're experiencing actually is water weight? I haven't weighed myself in 3 weeks and plan to on Friday, I wanted to go a while without and try to be really good so I could get a nice (big) surprise. I don't think I've eaten over maintenance, I generally eat around 600-800 calories a day Monday to Friday and then since I have no self controls Saturdays and Sundays tend to be at maintenance (i fuckin hope, I have trouble trusting BMR and TDEE 😑) so since it'll be 3 and a half weeks with no weigh ins I was hoping to see a decent weight loss when I do weigh in this Friday morning. But I feel bloated so idk whether I've ruined that with what I think is water weight.
Fuckin body dysmorphia 😡
On mobile, flair as question?
Well there's my little sign
/u/tenderlions751
Created: Wed Oct 4 10:39:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/749d1p/well_theres_my_little_sign/
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[removed]
[Help] I haven't pooped for 3 days
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 4 10:02:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74942v/i_havent_pooped_for_3_days/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] ED start as a diet/workout routine?
/u/sadfatgirl- [5'7 | c189.8| g110 | -18]
Created: Wed Oct 4 10:02:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7493ye/ed_start_as_a_dietworkout_routine/
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A couple years back, I was out of shape and slightly overweight, with a BMI of around 26. So, I decided to start working out and eat more healthily, but I found myself restricting heavily without even knowing about eating disorders. I lost quite a bit of weight and got to around 20.5 bmi in just a couple of months. Then the binges started and I gained a ton of weight. I would eat until I had physical stomach pains. Eventually, I got the bingeing under control but I relapsed this past spring and started restricting and bingeing again. Recently, I have been restricting heavily again but have been binge free for almost a month.
That's my story, but really it all started as a health kick. I wanted to get fit, to get slim, but my desire quickly changed into an obsession and here I am now, heavier than when I first started :):I wanted to know how common this really was. I see posts on here occasionally about people dieting and then developing an ED so I was interested to know?
[Rant/Rave] Everyone I passed my exam!!! And I am going to celebrate with my favourite meal and vegan ice cream!!
/u/FastPhoria [5'10 | 117.5 | 16.4 / 16.8 | UGW: 119?? | F]
Created: Wed Oct 4 09:58:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7492zw/everyone_i_passed_my_exam_and_i_am_going_to/
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I officially have funding for the second half of my PhD! It was terrifying being questioned by all the professors, but it went brilliantly and I am so happy!!! I have been working towards it for two years!
And oh god I would have had to submit for a second masters and leave the uni otherwise .... and be a REAL adult instead of the eternal student 😱
Tonight I am getting Indian with my friend to celebrate - I'm going to let myself have whatever I want and then I have two kinds of vegan ice cream to try afterwards. No guilt! I am logging it as a perfect day of 1200 calories in MFP so I don't feel bad about it later this week!
Sorry I just had to share with someone!! I hope you all are having a fantastic day so far!! ♥️♥️♥️
[Other] 7-day fasting
/u/psychardelic
Created: Wed Oct 4 09:57:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7492pt/7day_fasting/
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hello everyone!
it's gonna be my first time doing such a long fast. the few times i've tried fasting, i only managed 24hours or so and it just got awful and resulted in me binging and undoing everything. if anyone has any advice, experiences or kind words to share, i'll be really grateful!
i started at 2pm on tuesday, 3rd october so it'll end on the 10th of october but around 10.30pm instead since i have sports practice in the evening. [here](http://itsalmo.st/#timetobreakfast_j3azf) is my countdown timer!
hmm, i'm not really sure what i'm getting myself into, and it was a pretty 'spur of the moment' thing because i was watching some youtube vids of people doing a water fast and getting amazing results for it. another thing is also because the school term starts for me on 16th october, so i wanna do whatever i can to quickly lose any extra weight so it doesn't seem like i ate like a fucking pig during the break lol.
anyway, for this whole week, here are some challenges i forsee:
1. i have (pretty high intensity) sports practice on wednesday, saturday and tuesday. i hope i will have enough energy to power through them
2. i am meeting my boyfriend over the weekend (friday afternoon to monday morning) so it's gonna be challenging to avoid food since his helper cooks AMAZING food and it's gonna be hard to turn her down :(
3. my boyfriend potentially getting concerned (i've already told him that i'll be doing a water fast and for him to please not ask me to eat) and then forcing/tempting me to eat
4. his friends have asked him out for dinner on saturday but im thinking i can escape from that by going for sports practice. but honestly, i'm trying to recover from an injury and i'm kinda lazy so i don't really wanna go for it :/ but if i don't, i'll be stuck at home alone and his friends are definitely gonna ask why im not there if i dont have sports practice
5. asshole manager at work who loves making comments on how much i eat, whether i eat a lot, a little or not at all. today was my first day of fasting so i skipped lunch at work and he kept REPEATEDLY asking me to eat and even asked me 'what are you trying to prove by not eating????' stfu ugly. tomorrow, i'll skip lunch again and tell him that i'm 'too full because i had a very filling breakfast before coming to work' when he asks.
thanks for reading!
*day 0: ?kg*
*day 1: 59.7kg*
*day 2: 58.4kg*
[Help] How do you like to reset after a prolonged binge episode?
/u/invisigoth_
Created: Wed Oct 4 09:51:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74917n/how_do_you_like_to_reset_after_a_prolonged_binge/
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New to this sub, not new to ED, unfortunately. Here for support/advice.
I'd been maintaining a healthy weight on the lower end of a healthy BMI for me, and all was going well. Then life happened, I cracked down on my drinking problem and have subsequently fallen into a pretty bad depressive episode that's resulted in a lot of binging, no exercise, and 3-4kg of weight gain. The more I gain, the worse my mental health gets. I am struggling to leave the house as it is already, so I can't afford for this downward spiral to get worse.
I've been battling this for around 7 years now, so I'm just looking for some support and insight: what kind of things work for you when it comes to breaking a really bad binge day/week/month?
Thanks!
Last night my husband made mac n cheese
/u/WhatsAMooseSay [5'5 | CW: 204.6 lbs | -70.4lbs | GW: 115 | 26F]
Created: Wed Oct 4 09:45:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/748zr3/last_night_my_husband_made_mac_n_cheese/
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A whole box for himself - and I very proudly didnt even ask for a bite. But then as hes eating it he says "Is it weird that I dont even have to really chew this?"
And as I was busy looking at my phone and not really paying attention I almost said 'No I hardly chew it either.. The noodles come out whole when I purge.'
🙈
Pay attention, WhatsAMooseSay... Can't go blurting ED stuff out.
[Rant/Rave] Like a Dumpster
/u/makebelievethighs [5'7'' | monster | F ]
Created: Wed Oct 4 09:37:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/748xun/like_a_dumpster/
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To prevent me from weighing myself every hour, I only do weigh-in wednesdays. This week I was feeling pretty damn successful - have been cruising along with only one binge (which is a wellbutrin miracle) and my calories averaged out to 900/day. I was a little stressed because I got in a bike accident recently, so I haven't been burning as many calories, but I held it together to be at a 2.5 deficit easily. And yet stepping on the scale this morning I gained .2 pounds????
The week before was also only a 1.4 pounds lost when it should have been around 2 also. I'm not close to my period, my binge was on Saturday, I don't even know.
My reasonable brain is like, maybe you're retaining water, maybe that salad yesterday was exceptionally salty (??), it's mathematically impossible for you to have gained, relax. But my ED brain is like, why bother working so hard to stop binging when nothing changes? I'm a disaster and will always be a disaster. I honestly want to drown myself in entenmann's donuts when I get home from work. Instead should I be drowning myself in water? I'm honestly scared to fast beyond intermittent because it triggers awful binges and though I'm far from "recovered" I am trying a harm reduction approach.
My mental health had been so much better lately. I've been feeling outright optimistic and now I feel like a fucking dumpster.
[Help] How do I combat hair loss?
/u/water_77
Created: Wed Oct 4 09:16:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/748sq6/how_do_i_combat_hair_loss/
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I suspect I might be malnourished, I basically only eat sugar which I know is very bad but I'm quitting. But I don't know which nutrients contribute to making my hair grow well again. My hair breaks easily and a lot is falling out because of this. What should I eat for thicker, more hair?
[Discussion] DAE get easily pissed off?
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 64.9 kg | BMI: 24.1 | -18.6 kg | F]
Created: Wed Oct 4 08:11:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/748drb/dae_get_easily_pissed_off/
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So yesterday my mom and I decided to go grocery shopping today. So far so good, buuut she went shopping without me today (she went directly after work). And I feel pissed about it. Of course she gave me the option that we could go out and get some stuff that I still need now but that is not what I wanted. She basically bought the food I asked her to, and that is the problem. Where's the reason to go out shopping when what I asked for is already at home? I can't possibly tell her that I wanted to come too so that I could study all the calories that stuff has like a crazy calorie detective and decide accordingly? My parents know that I'm on a diet, they don't know that it kinda turned into a crazy fear of food and heavy restricting.
I know it is ridiculous and not fair to my mom but I can't help to be angry like a little child about something so stupid.
Has anyone ever been unreasonably pissed about something so minor?
[Rant/Rave] I purged for the first time in 5 years.
/u/anxioussheep
Created: Wed Oct 4 06:32:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/747tue/i_purged_for_the_first_time_in_5_years/
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[removed]
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 04, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Oct 4 06:11:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/747q77/daily_food_diary_october_04_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 04, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday October 04, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Oct 4 06:10:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/747q2g/way_to_go_wednesday_october_04_2017/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for October 04, 2017.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Rant/Rave] My very pro-recovery friend has gotten into my head and I hate it
/u/vkomova [5'11 | ugh | ugh | ugh | F]
Created: Wed Oct 4 06:09:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/747pul/my_very_prorecovery_friend_has_gotten_into_my/
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She's one of my best friends. She was severely anorexic for years, it's kind of a miracle she's still alive and relatively healthy honestly, but she started treatment about 3 years ago and has since become a very pro-recovery body positive type person. I'm so happy for her, but whenever I vent to her about my own problems, she tells me all this rational healthy shit that I don't want to hear. I don't want to recover. Not yet. And the cognitive dissonance is uncomfortable. I know, because of what she tells me, the biological reasons behind why I feel certain ways or why I do certain things, but I don't want to know. I'd rather just fuel my ED more and get worse without knowing exactly how bad I'm making things for myself. I want to get worse, and I don't want to know about all the things I'm going to have to do if/when I do try to get out of this. I was never a crazy pro-ana type who believes things that are objectively, scientifically untrue about weight/diets/food, but I definitely WAS uninformed, and sometimes I wish I could go back to that. The ignorance was nice.
Is it weird/stupid to feel this way?
[Discussion] Anyone else have trouble losing after a binge?
/u/wuthering-heights [5'1" F | CW 114 | LW 101.4 | HW 132 | UGW 98]
Created: Wed Oct 4 06:05:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/747p0d/anyone_else_have_trouble_losing_after_a_binge/
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So I binged pretty badly this weekend... 3 days straight of about 3000 each day (I know, I know 🙃). This basically undid all of my restriction last week and would equate to like 1.5 lbs of actual fat gain, but the scale jumped a full 10 pounds - 115 to 125!! 3 days later I’m still at 124 even though I drank a gallon of water, ate 800 calories, and ran 6 miles both days since the last binge. Has this ever happened to anyone else? It took me a month to get from 122 to 115 and I’m really scared that i gained it all back in a single weekend. I look and feel horrible. :(
[Help] Net 500 calories for the last 2 days and still gained a pound?!
/u/acidfairy [5'4" | CW: 133 | GW: 115 | -45 | 24F]
Created: Wed Oct 4 05:54:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/747n67/net_500_calories_for_the_last_2_days_and_still/
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Wtf this is so upsetting. Can anyone help think of a reason for this?
[Discussion] October 4th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 4 05:36:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/747k7d/october_4th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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In 3 words, describe your love life.
Overseas maybe boyfriend 😂
[Rant/Rave] I don't care what it takes anymore.
/u/timetofadeaway [5'2 | CW 114 | LW 91 | GW1 110 | UGW 90 | F21]
Created: Wed Oct 4 04:56:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/747dvj/i_dont_care_what_it_takes_anymore/
---
My 'health' standards are slipping.
My previous outlook on this has changed. I wanted to do it the 'healthy' way, high restriction, eating healthy-ish foods, not take stupid risks and hurt my mental health.
I don't care what it takes anymore. I'm gonna go down a slippery and most likely illegal route to get where I need to be.
Drugs? Whatever it takes. No sleep? Experimental research chemicals? Whatever it takes.
In debt? Whatever it takes. Manipulation? Whatever it takes. Reduced friendship? Whatever it takes.
Skin health? Whatever it takes. Heart health? Whatever it takes. Longevity? Whatever it takes. Nicotine? Whatever it takes.
'WHATEVER IT TAKES I KNOW I CAN MAKE IT THROUGH.' - DEGRASSI
I'm not a good person anymore. I'm sorry to my old self. I'm sorry if I hurt you. I have to do this.
:(
[Discussion] How long is it before restricting at around 800 cals a day (along with a small B/P every other day) affects your strength and your mental focus?
/u/ineedtogetlighter [5'4 | CW: 150.6 lbs | 3.8 lbs | GW: 120 lbs | Male]
Created: Wed Oct 4 04:03:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7476c0/how_long_is_it_before_restricting_at_around_800/
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[Rant/Rave] My Pathetic Attempt at Getting Help, or How My Psychiatrist Made Me Want to Die - A True Story
/u/yesyeshihello [157cm | CW: 43.7kg | BMI: 17.73 | 27F]
Created: Wed Oct 4 03:26:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7471eq/my_pathetic_attempt_at_getting_help_or_how_my/
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I've been feeling too low to post here, but I wanted both to share this with you and to keep a record of it. Maybe if/when I die someone can see what was actually going on with me through my Reddit posts.
So this past week / two weeks have been difficult. My weight loss stagnated, my body is starting to give out, and to end the amazing month of September in class, I threw up on Friday AND Saturday, after almost three years purge-free. Yey me.
My family has been on my case, and my boyfriend won't let me starve myself to death in peace. On Wednesday, after lunch (half a granola bar, very nutritious choice) I felt like I was going to faint. I always feel like I'm going to faint, but this time it was worse. So I told my boss (who forced a glass of sugar water down my throat) and called my boyfriend to come pick me up. He took me to the doctors.
They weighted me and were very concerned because I had lost 9kgs since May - I actually lost those 9kgs since July, but of course I left that part out. I talked freely about my restriction because part of me wants help and doesn't want to die... But there was no help. I don't have an anorexic BMI yet, you see. They gave me a bunch of blood tests to do, told me to come back for a weight in in 2 weeks, and sent me on my merry way.
I had a psychiatrist appointment on Monday. My last one was 2 months ago, and I started seeing this guy in June for my anxiety so he didn't know about my ED relapse, which is fairly recent. I wanted help, I thought, so I'm going to talk to him. That and of course my boyfriend's on my case, poor guy, so yes, I had to do this. He's a psychiatrist, eating disorders are psychiatric conditions, this is clearly the way to go.
So I go and I talk and I say all I have to say - and his response made me want to laugh, cry, slit my wrists and throw myself in front of a bus while still laughing:
"**As long as you're feeling better and it's helping your anxiety, then it's a good thing. It's a phase, it's an evolution of your anxiety, and evolution is always positive."**
Well fuck you too asshole.
Throughout this whole relapse I never felt fat. This isn't about body dysmorphia for me, it was just numbers on the scale that I wanted to see going down. But right now, I feel fucking obese.
No one's helping me because I'm too fat to have an eating disorder. I'm not small enough. I'm not unhealthy enough.
What the fuck am I supposed to do now.
I'm trying to keep it up and eat and live but honestly I just want to die. I'm going to keep restricting for that weight in at the doctors next week, and that's all the hope I have.
[Goal] Anyone else love Françoise Hardy?
/u/Banana-Ghost
Created: Wed Oct 4 01:48:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/746p3q/anyone_else_love_françoise_hardy/
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https://imgur.com/U5TZovs
[Help] Release
/u/SqizzyMcDingleBerry
Created: Wed Oct 4 00:29:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/746eiq/release/
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I'm going through a rough time with a close friend and might lose her... just received a text from her and it triggered me to run and purge.
This is the first time it's happened to me.
Does anyone else use purging as an emotional release?
I've been struggling with B/P and Restricting for some time now. I'm scared this is a sign that I'm losing control completely.
I'm my mobile so can't flair.
Im a therapist who specializes in eating disorders.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 4 00:29:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/746eio/im_a_therapist_who_specializes_in_eating_disorders/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] This subreddit might be fascinating to a mental health researcher, I'm getting paranoid.
/u/hawkeyebrows [Height 5'3 | CW 85lbs | BMI 15.5 | 27F]
Created: Tue Oct 3 23:30:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7465xd/this_subreddit_might_be_fascinating_to_a_mental/
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This might be the weed (definitely the weed), but people’s insights here are fascinating to me (NOT a mental health researcher btw, just a simple starving artist). Sorta like how some people are paranoid about future time-travelers in our time, what if mental health researchers are studying us to figure out body perception? I myself find it fascinating, especially as an artist that mostly likes to draw people - how we view ourselves, the different facets (physical/mental/what have you) of self-perception, etc. Probably I’m crazy, but ED is way more mind-bendy and less typical than people think.
[Discussion] Is starvation mode real?
/u/raz563 [5"11 | 154lb | GW: 120lb | Female]
Created: Tue Oct 3 21:30:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/745lvm/is_starvation_mode_real/
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Or is it a hoax invented by anti-ED websites?
If yes, how little do you need to eat for it to take effect?
Having panic attacks because of my weight again
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 3 21:23:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/745kqj/having_panic_attacks_because_of_my_weight_again/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I feel fucking terrible for this but I feel sort of jealous of cancer patients
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 3 21:21:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/745kal/i_feel_fucking_terrible_for_this_but_i_feel_sort/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] When did your ED become a concern
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Tue Oct 3 20:55:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/745fkc/when_did_your_ed_become_a_concern/
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I've felt like my ED isn't so much of an 'issue' and more like a hobby...until I started clearing out weeks in my calender to not go out with friends because then I could control my calorie intake all day and no keep gaining weight.
When the idea of spending nights alone to stop me from eating fill me with a sense of glee I feel like something must be wrong...but I don't want to stop.
Getting to my GW is so important to me. It's not the most important, but it's definitely a major goal.
[Rant/Rave] Do you ever feel like an imposter
/u/McCutiee
Created: Tue Oct 3 20:46:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/745dzt/do_you_ever_feel_like_an_imposter/
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I feel like an imposter. I've been around 95-100 lbs at 5'0 for a year and a half now. I can't seem to get back into the 70s. I can hardly stay in the HIGH 80s for more than a couple days and I always gain it back and then more after I get there. I haven't been underweight for a year and it makes me feel like such a fake. I dont have an eating disorder, I'm normal weight, normal BMI, I'm normal. After I fasted for a week 3 months ago I haven't even been able to fast for a day since then. Do I just not have anorexia anymore? For years I wouldnt eat more than one thing a day. Now I'm eating 3 meals a day no matter how hard I try not to. Did I cure myself without doing anything?
[Discussion] Does anyone else have an "I wanna weigh __ by Halloween" so they can feel hot in their costumes?
/u/emotionalthr0w [5'9 23F. SW:182 CW:138.4 BMI 20.07]
Created: Tue Oct 3 20:41:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/745d29/does_anyone_else_have_an_i_wanna_weigh_by/
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I can't wait to go off for Halloween this year. What're your goals & what's everyone being?
[Discussion] What are your workout routines like?
/u/RooftopDreams
Created: Tue Oct 3 20:28:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/745ajd/what_are_your_workout_routines_like/
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[removed]
[Tip] Low calorie/carb pita and lavash breads!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 3 19:55:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74548p/low_caloriecarb_pita_and_lavash_breads/
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The tortilla post reminded me of something I used to buy a TON a while back. It’s these [lavash breads](https://www.josephsbakery.com/shop/flax-oat-bran-whole-wheat-square-lavash.html) made by Joseph’s. The whole lavash is 120 kcal but it’s HUGE. Like 9x13” or something.
You can cut it in half and still make a small wrap, or use the whole thing and make a huge wrap. It’s not quite as good as a tortilla, but I found the taste just fine.
My *favorite* thing to do though was cut it into cracker size squares, give it a quick spray with oil, season with whatever I wanted, then bake until crispy. Ummm hello a million chips for 120 kcal, and they would be so good with salsa. They also make other products, like they have seasoned flatbreads that are pretty much comparable in calories...
I think I’m inspiring myself tbh and now I’m starving fml
Just another fatty
/u/Sxftie_
Created: Tue Oct 3 19:45:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74524y/just_another_fatty/
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[removed]
[Discussion] I can't stop
/u/haveAPicniclifebitch
Created: Tue Oct 3 19:14:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/744w2o/i_cant_stop/
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[removed]
[Help] Best smart scale?
/u/smallest_madeline [F 5'1" | CW 98.8 | BMI 19.5 | HW 125 | LW 80| GW 85]
Created: Tue Oct 3 19:04:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/744u96/best_smart_scale/
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What scale do you guys use? I’ve been doing a lot of research.
Does anyone have a scale they absolutely love? I was leaning towards the Fitbit aria because I already have a Fitbit but doing research I found a lot more that can do more than that one. A lot can sync over Bluetooth and Wi-Fi and can even tell you how much of your weight is water, muscle, can tell you your BMR, etc.
[Rant/Rave] DAE feel like restricting is hard?
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 91.6lbs | BMI 16.75 | 20F]
Created: Tue Oct 3 18:54:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/744say/dae_feel_like_restricting_is_hard/
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My friend was venting to me today about barely being able to eat yesterday. She doesn't have an ED, she just has a poor relationship with food. When she gets stressed, she just can't stomach food. She said she only had a protein shake and a slice of pizza all day.
I honestly got so pissed off on the inside. I obsess all day about calories. I obsess over eating 300 calories in one sitting because it might make me fat. All I can ever think about is food. If I'm not actively restricting, I'm binging and purging. It makes me so incredibly jealous that some people literally just can't make themselves eat when they're stressed.
She's so skinny too and I just am so jealous. I wish I could restrict all day without thinking about it. Instead, I have to force myself to restrict and I always have food on my mind. It's so frustrating.
[Goal] My ultimate goal everything she’s amazing her insta: @steqhs
/u/kitten664 [5'7" | CW 144.2| -11 | F | GW:110]
Created: Tue Oct 3 18:48:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/744r63/my_ultimate_goal_everything_shes_amazing_her/
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https://i.redd.it/d39r0kqjnppz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Finally, I found something more pleasurable than eating...
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Tue Oct 3 18:31:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/744nmf/finally_i_found_something_more_pleasurable_than/
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[removed]
[Tip] These tortillas are only 60-90 cals each and come in 11 flavors (the pic cuts out ancient and whole grain) and they are delicious
/u/FUCKuNSALTEDcROUTONS [5'6 |CW:156.8 | GW: 125 |F 18]
Created: Tue Oct 3 18:23:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/744lw7/these_tortillas_are_only_6090_cals_each_and_come/
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https://i.redd.it/i5ints01jppz.jpg
[Other] Saw a therapist...
/u/Fatalope [5'4| CW 150 | GW 104 |HW 168 | 19 F]
Created: Tue Oct 3 18:18:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/744ky8/saw_a_therapist/
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Finally broke down and went to see a therapist last Friday. Not because of my ED but for depression.
What I'm terrified of is breaking down or letting it slip that I have one, and then the focus being on that getting better when... I don't want to get better.
[Rant/Rave] Day two no laxatives.... this is where I am I guess
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~60lbs | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Tue Oct 3 17:50:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/744f4u/day_two_no_laxatives_this_is_where_i_am_i_guess/
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The urge to take them is so overwhelming... I havent gone more than two days without taking laxatives in over two months now.
It's like an itch that I'm resisting the urge to scratch... except that itch is accompanied by severe bloating and abdominal pain. I've already gained nearly four pounds. I know it's water and poop weight but fuck me....
I don't know if I want someone to tell me to resist the urge to take them or to just go ahead and do it... I don't know anymore...
EDIT: annd... i took them... lovely... i'm so fucking weak it shouldnt be this difficult
[Discussion] DAE eat stuff just because you know it'll make you shit?
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | SW: 130 | CW: ~125 | GW: small | 20F]
Created: Tue Oct 3 17:15:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/74480m/dae_eat_stuff_just_because_you_know_itll_make_you/
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"Because laxatives are bad for you," my brain says. Meanwhile, I eat a bunch of processed shit I'm intolerant to because I'm forever constipated, and I know I'll just shit it out.
...
[Help] That awkward moment when you try and make up for a binge...
/u/biscuitsisfluffy [5'4 | 143 lbs | -23]
Created: Tue Oct 3 17:07:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7446ac/that_awkward_moment_when_you_try_and_make_up_for/
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https://i.redd.it/7szsdfgh5ppz.jpg
I'm three glasses of wine and two spoonfuls of cream cheese frosting in....
/u/lil_ginge
Created: Tue Oct 3 16:54:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7443hl/im_three_glasses_of_wine_and_two_spoonfuls_of/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I'm 140lbs and I want to die.
/u/hailsbuddha
Created: Tue Oct 3 16:33:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/743yya/im_140lbs_and_i_want_to_die/
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I'm 5'7 and even though my BMI says I'm average, I feel like such a failure. I got on the scale today and wanted to cry. I've been purging every time I eat and I just never feel like I'm getting enough of it back up. I rarely binge, just eat regularly and then purge but lately I've been so stressed and depressed that I've been eating to the point of feeling sick and then vomiting as much as I can. It's such a sick cycle and I'm afraid the people I live with are going to catch on and try to interfere. I want to start restricting but I don't know if I have the will power.
I'm sorry, I just had to vent. I've been lurking here for a long time and need some support.
I'm watching my bf cook for me right now
/u/Feralburro [5'3 | CW 116 | GW 110 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 3 16:24:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/743x09/im_watching_my_bf_cook_for_me_right_now/
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[removed]
[Goal] Not at my LW yet but can fit into kids clothes now!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 3 16:22:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/743wq4/not_at_my_lw_yet_but_can_fit_into_kids_clothes_now/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] For anyone that watched TVD, do you notice any similarities to Stefan and his addiction?
/u/water_77
Created: Tue Oct 3 16:12:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/743ugq/for_anyone_that_watched_tvd_do_you_notice_any/
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Honestly I love the show and I can't help but notice that his way of dealing with his addiction "ED" is similar to the way I deal with my ED...
[Help] This feeling gnawing at my gut
/u/Arkhamgel [5'8| | 143 | 15 lbs | Male]
Created: Tue Oct 3 16:10:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/743u2y/this_feeling_gnawing_at_my_gut/
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I know it's not related to an ED, and I'm sorry, but I think you could help me nonetheless.
I'm almost 20 years old. In fact, in about 5 days I'm gonna be 20. I really wanted to mark this milestone by having a big party with lots of booze and all my friends, and everyone I love. But as I made a list of people to invite, this feeling came, gnawing at my insides and burning my oesophagus, this little voice that said "you know they won't come, why do you even bother ?"
I can't have a party at home because of my tiny apartment, and renting a place to do this in, with as many guests as I want to invite ? I'd have to be a millionaire.
And there's the voice again. "Remember when you were 10 ? Nobody wanted to go to the water park with you. That's gonna be the same. The exact same."
I'm scared of going back down the depression slope again because of this. I know it's silly, but it hurts me. That voice hurts me more than anything.
[Other] Related communities 😒
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 3 16:01:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/743s0l/related_communities/
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https://i.redd.it/qih1qa7ntopz.jpg
[Discussion] DAE find their daily calorie limit getting lower and lower?
/u/plantbasedpumpkin
Created: Tue Oct 3 15:04:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/743evl/dae_find_their_daily_calorie_limit_getting_lower/
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When I first started restricting it was like 1400 calories a day, a month later it was 1200. In the past month it's dropped from 1200 to 900 to 800 to 700 to 600. I'm worried. Can anyone relate? And does anyone have any ideas on how to get comfortable raising my calorie limit? ideally I'd be eating 900 a day, but the idea of just jumping right into that sounds terrifying and life ending.
[Thinspo] Thinspo because legs 😍
/u/midwesthoe- [5'1| 105 | 19.8 |20F|]
Created: Tue Oct 3 14:52:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/743c0h/thinspo_because_legs/
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https://i.redd.it/3cf5pvsfhopz.jpg
[Help] will i still lose weight after a binge?
/u/idkaboutusername [F/15/5’3 | CW: 141lbs LW: 115lbs GW: 118lbs]
Created: Tue Oct 3 14:13:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7432d0/will_i_still_lose_weight_after_a_binge/
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(i’m not sure if posts like this are allowed?)
ok, so i binged on sunday, and ate around 1,450 calories. then, monday i ate 1,135, and today around 1,250. but i’m scared that 1,450 day ruined my whole week. my tdee is around 1,700cals. this whole thing is freaking me out.
(i ended up eating 1,457 calories the day i posted this. i’ll probably eat at 500-800 today.)
[Goal] I bought a box of Oreos and a bag of cheetos
/u/letmebelittle [5'7" | CW: 125 lbs | BMI: 19.6 | WL: 84 lbs | Female]
Created: Tue Oct 3 13:34:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/742sm8/i_bought_a_box_of_oreos_and_a_bag_of_cheetos/
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And I ate a small portion of each. I didn't binge!! I'm so proud of myself for having a treat but not overdoing it!!!
[Discussion] DAE not know what they look like
/u/kickkkasss [5'5 | CW:134 | GW:110 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 3 13:31:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/742rw5/dae_not_know_what_they_look_like/
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I am constantly comparing myself to other girls. And obviously that's a super common ed thing but I mostly do it because I don't know what I look like. I'm always trying to find someone who looks like they're the same height and weight as me and I can't. I think oh she's skinnier than me I don't look that good unless she's obviously much bigger than me and then I think she's a little bigger but that's what I look like. Does anyone else do this? I do it to basically every girl I pass.
[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend Triggers Me
/u/kiskatime
Created: Tue Oct 3 13:23:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/742q2q/boyfriend_triggers_me/
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Long time lurker, first time poster. I really hate that this is the first post I'm making because I feel really evil writing this, it's just been wearing me down and I need to get it off my chest.
Currently with a guy I've known forever/we've always had a thing. The first time we dated (4 years ago for about a year) he was a fit, good looking dude (6 ft/180 lbs). However, his weight ballooned in the past few years (220 rn). Which is fine, honestly I love him for his mind and for how good he is to me. My problem is in his attitude/relationship with food. He says he wants to lose weight. I am all for it. I encourage him to do active things with me and cook healthy at home and try to get him to eat it.
He is a picky eater, and practices what I can only describe as fatlogic. We get in debates about the healthiest way of eating- he's all about the paleo, while I try to argue that the best way to eat is just eating real food and cutting out sugar (we both agree on the sugar), but I try to emphasize the importance of fresh produce and cooking at home. The other day I offered him avocado toast on Ezekiel bread, and he refused it because "it has too many carbs". Later that day he ate a cheeseburger, as if the bun doesn't have carbs. The only carbs he seems to be aware of are the ones he doesn't consider tasty.
He barely eats vegetables. He always wants to eat out, and is always trying to get me to go with him. When he does eat at home, he eats things like grilled cheeses, frozen ready meals, and alfredo pastas.
He refuses the meals I prepare for him because "he needs meat". What drives me crazy is the way he perceives it- he doesn't think the food he eats is "that unhealthy". He thinks it's healthy to eat a Chick-fil-a salad.
I'd be fine with him being the weight that he is if he recognized that eating a bunch of processed meat and cheese isn't healthy. What drives me crazy is the fatlogic. It's super triggering to me, and I find myself trying to come up with ways to control his weight loss/trick him into eating the food I want him to eat. Which is super fucked up, why should it matter to me what he does with his body? My problem is that he tries to justify it/doesn't see that there's anything wrong with it. I get triggered by the fact that he refuses to see it the way I do. I feel so evil and controlling when I have these thoughts. I don't have a healthy relationship with food at all. I know this. But the nature of the beast is that it stems from a need for control. The more he resists, the louder the thing inside of me roars. How do I stop projecting my eating disorder onto my boyfriend? It doesn't even bother me that he gained weight, it just bothers me that he doesn't see things "correctly" (correctly is synonymous with "the way I do"). I've even started getting him to weigh himself when he sleeps over at my place as a way to make him aware of the fluctuation in his weight (that he's gained weight since he set the goal of weight loss). That feels so abusive and controlling, honestly typing this out helped a bit. Sorry for the rant, has anyone else had a similar experience?
[Help] How many calories does this have?
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 112.8 | GW: 105 | M/15]
Created: Tue Oct 3 13:22:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/742pqy/how_many_calories_does_this_have/
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Sorry if this is spammy cause it's my 2nd post in two days about this kind of thing but basically I got a corndog from the school cafeteria, how many calories do you think it has? I just need a rough estimate
[Discussion] lol none of us would even wear this unfashionable piece of trash
/u/nervous_nandu [5'4" | CW 128.4 | LW/GW 98| 19F]
Created: Tue Oct 3 13:00:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/742kfa/lol_none_of_us_would_even_wear_this_unfashionable/
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https://i.redd.it/2sqhrbaexnpz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Found a cheap and tiny elliptical on Craigslist
/u/ssfbgm
Created: Tue Oct 3 12:34:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/742e2c/found_a_cheap_and_tiny_elliptical_on_craigslist/
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Do I need it? No
Do I have room for it no?
Am I gonna try to get it? Hell yeah.
Going outside for cardio is nice and all, but winter is coming and if I can watch Netflix while working out in my cozy apartment, I'll do it. I'll be burning through calories AND shows!
[Help] How do you hide a purge?
/u/littlejanedoe- [5'1" |CW:123lbs | GW:115lbs | F]
Created: Tue Oct 3 11:48:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7422kj/how_do_you_hide_a_purge/
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[removed]
[Tip] I found the perfect recipe for an imitation cupcake that I can feel safe eating when I'm craving sweets and thought I would share.
/u/FUCKuNSALTEDcROUTONS [5'6 |CW:156.8 | GW: 125 |F 18]
Created: Tue Oct 3 11:44:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7421lu/i_found_the_perfect_recipe_for_an_imitation/
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Hey guys, it's been forever but I'm back. I recently moved to college and haven't been able to post in forever but I missed you all.
My dorm literally only has a microwave so I've had to get creative with my meal prepping and food in general, which has led me to this protein cupcake.
Make 1 double chocolate might muffin. It's a 220 calorie GIANT probiotic protein muffin in a cup. All you do is add water and microwave.
But wait? They can be kinda dry and that's not a cupcake? Where's the frosting? Well I'll tell ya.
Now you can technically just use PB2 and water, as "frosting" but I like my breakfast to be super filling so I don't eat for the rest of the day so I'm willing to add a few extra calories to make this bomb.
Mix 1 sugar free chocolate pudding snack pack (70 cal) with 2 tbs of Pb2 (45 cal) until fully mixed. Spread all over your mighty muffin for literally the most gooey chocolately almost a cupcake cupcake that you can feel safe eating.
335 calories
25 grams protein
41 grams carbs
12 grams fat
Filling as heck, seriously you need to force yourself to finish it and it solves all chocolately deserty cravings.
If your feeling adventurous switch out the pudding for cream cheese for peanut butter cream cheese frosting.
[Rant/Rave] My new guy is so skinny
/u/schoolgirlqt [5'6.5" |118lbs| BMI:18.8 |21F]
Created: Tue Oct 3 11:43:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7421dd/my_new_guy_is_so_skinny/
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So I posted earlier about seeing this guy who drives fast cars and threw the food out of the window because he didn't want it messing up his car (lol).
So theres that. Also he is super skinny. And he eats and drinks a lot of beer. He never eats an excessive amount and sticks to real food (Asian food) at meal times but will eat gas station junk and drink soda for snacks. He works out too. And I am just baffled at how skinny he is???
Sooo I like need to be skinny to be with him. If he ever saw me overeat it would be humiliating. Once I asked to borrow a shirt and he gave me his ex's shirt and I felt like the incredible hulk with it on. He also is very observant and asks me if I'm full after I eat 1/4 of the food I order. And he has asked me if I've ever been overweight or if anyone in my family has. Not in an impolite way but almost like he views it as a bad trait. I'm not really sure.
Is this a blessing or a curse? I'm not really sure. I am enjoying the motivation and I'm actually learning my hunger cues and getting over my fear of throwing food away. Also I am eating fear foods all the time now in small quantities and learning to pace myself, even if it is to prevent embarrassing myself in front of this guy. Now if only I can keep this up and actually lose some fat...
[Help] How do I climb back in
/u/50shadesofskinny [5'4 | 135lbs | -50lbs | 23F]
Created: Tue Oct 3 11:27:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/741xre/how_do_i_climb_back_in/
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I was doing so well. I was losing, but I was finally moving away from fasting and getting myself to accept a more functional calorie count because of all the therapy I’m in and all the work I’m doing on self care.
That turned into binge eating here and there, because hey, it’s fine to eat a bad meal sometimes, right? Then that turned into binge drinking because I have no self control. A week and a half of eating too much and drinking too much and now I’m up 5lbs and I can’t even fathom how I’d handle anymore weight gain but I can’t seem to coax myself back into the healthier habits.
All I can see is the thing that always works, and that’s restricting, self loathing, harsh internal negativity, and everything else that goes along with it. It’s self harm in a different form and I know that. I’m trying so hard to get better, and I can’t get better if I’m still self harming in any way, but I can’t understand how I can lose weight acceptably if it’s not through a form of punishment and extremism.
I lost a lot of weight a few years ago by diligently eating 1200-1500 calories a day alongside working out when I could, but it took FOREVER to lose it. Then again, it’s the weight that’s always stayed off. The weight I lose when I’m being more hardcore is the weight that I gain back within a couple of months or less.
How do I find a healthy balance? Do I even care to? Maybe if I could just get some fucking will power I could get so thin I wouldn’t have any room to gain weight because every binge would show and I couldn’t lose track for a week or two. I hate knowing this demon is one that works.
[Discussion] Supplements!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 3 11:18:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/741vfr/supplements/
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[deleted]
[Help] Heart rate, calorie burn and exercise?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: who knows? | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 3 11:17:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/741v94/heart_rate_calorie_burn_and_exercise/
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This is a quick question but I was hoping someone here would know the answer because I felt like other subs would be judgey... I know that heart rate monitoring is considered the most accurate way to determine calorie burn from exercise for the average person. My question is this- if you have an unusually fast heart rate (due to a medical issue, EC stack or other drugs, etc.) is it still accurate, or does that throw off the calorie burn estimate?
Hoping one of you lovely people will know.
[Rant/Rave] So annoying
/u/EatMyInsides
Created: Tue Oct 3 11:07:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/741sr0/so_annoying/
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I'm so sorry for this post, but I just have to get this out there.
I love to bake and make food (though I'd never want to do it professionally). I like to bake when I have time for that, or just feel like doing something but don't know what. I like to experiment with food, and I want to try different things.
But!! I don't want to eat it. I want to make it for other people. I still live with my mother. That means that whenever I bake something, I feel like I have to eat it. And with the food... I don't always choose what we're going to eat. That's really hard for me when it's "trigger food".
Again, I'm sorry for this post.
[Rant/Rave] 730 Calorie Hamburger...Why????????
/u/dahee3697 [5'1.5" | CW: 120 | GW: 100 | F | 19]
Created: Tue Oct 3 10:50:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/741oha/730_calorie_hamburgerwhy/
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I was planning to make myself a nice hamburger today! Bun, patty, fried egg, cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion and ketchup...so tell me why all of that is 730 calories? How did I really eat that kind of stuff as just one meal a day PLUS a side of fries and not realize what I was putting into my body! It totally freaks me out! Granted....my fat ass still wants to eat it so I guess that'll be the only thing I eat today.
[Rant/Rave] Random thoughts when purging (some are disgusting)
/u/shoqer [154cm | CW: 40kg | BMI 16.8| GW: lower | 21y/o]
Created: Tue Oct 3 10:26:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/741ims/random_thoughts_when_purging_some_are_disgusting/
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Recently I have been binging so hard (for 3 weeks now...). Whenever I eat something I can't stop :< for every meal. I feel so disgusted by my own self.
So, along with binging, I purge A LOT more too. And everytime I purge, I have a lot of thoughts that I completely forget when I'm not purging, especially when I'm binging. Here are a few of them:
1. I got an X-ray recently and I saw the size of my stomach. It's just the size of my palm. My meal should be just the size of my palm.
2. Looking at all that I purge, it's always a lot more than I thought when I was binging. When I'm in binge mode, I always tell myself, "it's just an orange". Today I took ten minutes to purge "just" an orange.
3. The way I move my finger in my throat makes me think of fingering myself, but in wrong place...
4. Purging peanut feels like I'm eating peanut butter, which I don't have in my country. Nice, but I still hate peanuts because they hurt my throat.
5. Why the hell am I vomitting all the fruits/vegetables (which I want to keep) but not the cake or the rice I ate last?
6. I need more water
7. I wanna pee but the toilet is cover with vomit and I don't want to put my butt and my face in one place...
So far I can only remember these. Sorry for all the disgusting thoughts. But anyone has those kind of thoughts too?
[Rant/Rave] Halfway done with my fast!!
/u/vomitdogs [5'1 | 105 lbs | 19.9 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 3 10:24:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/741i8e/halfway_done_with_my_fast/
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I'm on 125 hours and 35 minutes right now, just a little bit over 5 days. I'm aiming for 10. My last 5/6 attempts at fasting were horrible and I kept quitting after 2 days.. I'm finally past the hard part and I'm so relieved I made it here. I know I still have 5 days to go but I finally feel like I can actually do it. Yay!
[Rant/Rave] Water weight weighing me down (hehe)
/u/carlems [5'2| CW: 101,8 | GW: 97 | -19]
Created: Tue Oct 3 10:18:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/741gx3/water_weight_weighing_me_down_hehe/
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I binged on Sunday. I lasted for 2 weeks without binging and then I went and ate like 5000 calories and now I want to die bc I just got to step on scale and I'm STILL almost 5 pounds heavier!!? I mean, I know I gained a pound _at most_ but still I feel so discouraged and depressed and just managed to inhale a box of Oreos because seeing my weight so high after being so successful for a long time just made me not care at all. I've not felt this bad in a long time. I was supposed to hit my goal weight in two weeks and now it seems like it will never happen. I'm sorry for the rant I'm just in such a bad place right now
[Discussion] Is there a sub or forum like this for people attempting/working towards/in recovery?
/u/shadowmachines
Created: Tue Oct 3 10:13:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/741fj2/is_there_a_sub_or_forum_like_this_for_people/
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I feel like most of the recovery focused forums have so many rules because they don't want to trigger anyone into a relapse. Well I'm in a recovery phase right now, and I LOVE it here because everyone is so nice and accepting and there is no shaming! It doesn't feel triggering to me at all. I would love for there to be a more recovery-focused one where we can have threads about exactly what we ate and how many calories and people's current weight, low weight etc. That could be so inspiring! I also don't believe that it's impossible for people in recover to learn how to lose weight or count calories in a safe, not-extreme way, and that kind of talk is rarely taken well in recovery forums...
Thoughts? Sometimes when I have a good food day I'm tempted to post in the Daily Food Diary here, but it doesn't seem like the right context for me to celebrate eating over 2000 cals :-/
Sorry if this is inappropriate or not the right place for this. I've been lurking for the past couple of weeks and just think this place is really neat and wonderful.
[Discussion] Most amount of weight you lost in a month?
/u/Throwaway412160987
Created: Tue Oct 3 09:37:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7416k9/most_amount_of_weight_you_lost_in_a_month/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Intense workout help!
/u/anxioussheep
Created: Tue Oct 3 09:33:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7415rq/intense_workout_help/
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I do Crossfit. It's a high intensity workout class where I can burn anywhere from 350-600 calories by doing cardio and heavy barbell work. I love it but it does not pair well with heavy restriction. I can't eat less than 800 a day without passing out. I was just curious if anyone else does intense exercise and what you do about restriction?
I thought about moving most of my calories around the class but I'm not sure if that's best.
[Discussion] What’s the most you’ve lost in 3 months? What did you do?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 3 09:32:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7415gh/whats_the_most_youve_lost_in_3_months_what_did/
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[removed]
[Help] How to go back to being regular? [warning, ick]
/u/starpocalypse [4'10 | justfat | UGW: 76 | 🍑: starpocalypse]
Created: Tue Oct 3 09:15:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7411ii/how_to_go_back_to_being_regular_warning_ick/
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I know I shouldn't be taking stimulants and I have sworn off abusing laxatives. Unfortunately, I may need help going every couple of days because of this abuse. I was thinking about using a Miralax dose maybe 1-2x a week (Sunday and Wed/Thurs), then working myself to once a week?
My other alternative is to have a daily intake of Greek yogurt, eat high fiber, etc. I have this weird concept though that eating so much spinach can actually make me constipated? My mother used to tell me that and she was a nurse, so I grew up believing her. Now I'm hearing conflicting information and I'm not sure what's what =x
Would it be safe, however, to do this plan? I'd like to become more regular without laxatives!
I guess my overall question is--are osmotic laxatives any safer (relatively) than the stimulant ones?
[Rant/Rave] Football and The Pressure to be Skinny.
/u/skeletonne18
Created: Tue Oct 3 08:56:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/740x1l/football_and_the_pressure_to_be_skinny/
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OKAY
So I played Rugby League (Football) and will be getting back into it when the season starts again (meaning I'll have to maintain somewhat healthy range calories :// yay ) and recently at the phsyio he asked me about sports and I mentioned Rugby and asked what position I played and I said Wing. For those who may not know much about the game it's usually a male dominated sports (I play on a female team tho lol) and it's a pretty full contact sports requiring tackling and my position usually means they are fast runners. A lot of wings in men and female league are skinny majority of the time so when I said this he gave me a questioning look like ?? then proceeded in ask 'oh so are you considered a small player for your size?' Like what is that meant to mean dude, I'm sorry I don't fit the standard look for a Wing Player but that doesn't mean I'm not fast or agile. I hate that even in a sport that I love I still feel the pressure to be skinny and even in a sport where players usually aren't that skinny! (From my experience wings are usually leaner and other players are either bigger or super fit) I'd understand dance or gymnastics but football cooooommmmooooooon can never catch a break I swear. Maybe when I come back after losing some more weight I'll be a believable size for him ☺️☺️☺️
[Rant/Rave] My new fucked up routine.
/u/timetofadeaway [5'2 | CW 114 | LW 91 | GW1 110 | UGW 90 | F21]
Created: Tue Oct 3 08:55:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/740wy6/my_new_fucked_up_routine/
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I'll prepare my one meal for the day. I'll try and add something reasonably healthy. I'll dress it up, make it look pretty and tell myself that it's OK for me to eat this. This was planned, this is not a binge, this is not greedy or immoral.
I'll take a bite and I'll instantly be told that this is too tasty to be eaten. I should have saved my calories for something else. I shouldn't be enjoying food. I shouldn't even be making myself food. I shouldn't be such a greedy pig. Even though I'm hungry I'll instantly regret the bite and I'll throw away the whole meal, or I'll drop it on the floor 'accidentally' so I am not tempted to eat any more. I may even take a bite from the floor in desperation and then wash my mouth out with soap. No matter what happens, I won't take more than a couple of bites and my expensive and delicious meal will end up in the bin.
I'll then wait until 10pm after my workout and grab a bag of popcorn and wolf it down.
I don't even want to think about how much money I've wasted, how much food that someone who is truly hungry would have gladly taken. Never-mind how much nutrition I could have been getting rather than eating my salty safe popcorn. Sure it's low calorie but its nutritionally valueless.
I'll tell myself tomorrow that this won't happen. I'll do better.
Repeat.
[Discussion] Anyone else do this to keep track of how long you've fasted?
/u/rainingdeath [1.77m | 54.1 kg | 16.87 | -21.9 kg | F]
Created: Tue Oct 3 08:55:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/740wst/anyone_else_do_this_to_keep_track_of_how_long/
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https://i.redd.it/o63f63ylpmpz.jpg
[Goal] Umm guys, this week I have lost 3lbs, overshot my UGW by 1.5lbs, and hit BMI 16.4.... when I thought I had gained at least 1lb due to tearing my Achilles and being in bed all week 😦
/u/FastPhoria [5'10 | 117.5 | 16.4 / 16.8 | UGW: 119?? | F]
Created: Tue Oct 3 08:48:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/740veh/umm_guys_this_week_i_have_lost_3lbs_overshot_my/
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https://i.redd.it/4u6esgv9ompz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Lost weight?? After a binge??
/u/TheGreatMastermind [5'4 | 119 | 20 | GW: 110 | 18F]
Created: Tue Oct 3 08:43:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/740u5x/lost_weight_after_a_binge/
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I don't trust my scale. I went from 118/119 pounds to 114 pounds in one day/night. What the fuck??? I ate like shit too. Granted the wholes day worth of food was probably only around 1300-1400. (Salad/miso soup in the morning, like 10 ice creams that I purged and then some salad again that I purged, then a pack of 545 cal Swedish fish and a bag of 500 cal instant ramen and then half a pack of gummies). I've been vegetarian for a month and I'm anemic now, so I think my weight loss has to do w that considering the last few days were the worst symptoms. I keep having the worst craving for ice cream/ ice bc of it but at least it's really easy to purge.
[Other] I had a dentist appointment yesterday, and she had a lot of advice for a bulimic
/u/Mi__ra [165cm |50 kg | 18,4 | 8 kg | F]
Created: Tue Oct 3 08:32:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/740rky/i_had_a_dentist_appointment_yesterday_and_she_had/
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So I thought I'd share.
After throwing up, drink just some sips of milk to neutralize the acids. Then some water to wash away the sugars from milk. Then some xylitol, like chewing gum and finally a fluorine pill or mouthwash that has fluorine. Other option is to brush your teeth at this point, too.
Also: if you can, make an appointment every three months to get your teeth fluorine-coated. And use those fluorine pills at least two times a day.
[Other] Just to show you how ridiculous weightloss is....
/u/tinywolfxo [5'4"|C 121.6|G 105|H 162|L 97|F|BMI 20.9]
Created: Tue Oct 3 08:29:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/740r1s/just_to_show_you_how_ridiculous_weightloss_is/
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Saturday I weighed in and finally had a whoosh weight loss, going from 123.4 to 122.2 after about a week of no weightloss.
Sunday, my fiancé and I went out to eat Chinese food for mid autumn festival. I ate around 1500 calories for dinner, thank God the only other thing I had that day was coffee, but I didn't exercise at all that day, which I usually try to burn 300-600 calories a day.
Monday I get on the scale fully expecting my weight to have gone up to at least 125 because of all the fat and salt I ate for dinner.
But a fucking miracle second whoosh happened and the scale said 121.6!!! Almost another pound down!
I was so fucking stoked but I still restricted to 950 and burned 600 calories because I know that those extra calories didn't just disappear even though I lost weight.
So this morning, Wednesday, I wake up, get all excited to weigh myself, expecting to see my weight at least hit 121.0 or maybe even somewhere in the 120 zone, but no.
Today I weigh 125.
What the actual fuck my friends.
The whoosh gods giveth and they taketh away.
This is why weightloss is the most bizarre thing ever. Sometimes you do all the wrong things and get positive results and sometimes you do all the right things and get negative results.
[Rant/Rave] BF pissed me off through no fault of his own
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 161.8 | GW:118 | -4 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 3 08:24:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/740pq1/bf_pissed_me_off_through_no_fault_of_his_own/
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So this boy is a military boy, stationed at a base near where I live. Part of their physical fitness tests involve getting their waists measured. He eats like shit and his waist is smaller than mine. I love him, but he sucks 😣
Mid-twenties problems...
/u/coconutsonice
Created: Tue Oct 3 08:04:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/740l2f/midtwenties_problems/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Had a nightmare that I binged 😂
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 3 07:35:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/740ez4/had_a_nightmare_that_i_binged/
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Last night I had this terrifying nightmare that I actually binged last night (in reality stuck perfectly to my calorie plan) and that I didn’t believe it in the morning and looked at my calorie count and couldn’t even remember what I had. Then I actually woke up and was horrified and confused then I calmed myself down by looking at MFP lmao 😂 I’m sure y’all can relate
[Discussion] People that abuse laxatives, how did this emotionally hit you? Is it enough to change? Please chime in with related issues, like destroying your teeth with purging.
/u/CowOffTheFarm [65" | 157 | 26.4 | - | F | GW 120]
Created: Tue Oct 3 07:28:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/740dld/people_that_abuse_laxatives_how_did_this/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/73wqlm/a_boy_ate_25_laxative_brownies_in_1_hour_this_is/
[Discussion] Is anyone else fasting today due to a fuck-up yesterday? Let's bond and check back in with each other tomorrow
/u/partialbehemoth [5'5.5" | CW:135 | GW: 118, 115, 111...IDK | 26F]
Created: Tue Oct 3 06:56:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7407d2/is_anyone_else_fasting_today_due_to_a_fuckup/
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[removed]
[Help] How To Cheat A Physical?
/u/send-shirataki-noods [5'7 | S: 136.2 | C: 119.8 | L: 114 | G: 110]
Created: Tue Oct 3 06:32:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7402yy/how_to_cheat_a_physical/
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[removed]
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday October 03, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Oct 3 06:11:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73zz0p/thinspo_tuesday_october_03_2017/
---
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 03, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Oct 3 06:11:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73zyzp/daily_food_diary_october_03_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 03, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] October 3rd, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 3 04:57:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73znbv/october_3rd_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What was the last bad movie you saw?
[Rant/Rave] Whooshed 🐳
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 3 02:03:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73z0tw/whooshed/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I realized something today
/u/CANT_CATCH_ME [5'7.5 | CW 133.5 | -7 | GW 115 | 18 F]
Created: Tue Oct 3 01:44:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73yyiw/i_realized_something_today/
---
So I've been working out a lot and I can feel abs forming and other muscles and stuff and it's super awesome and I'm very proud of myself so I had my friends/housemates punch my tummy. Right?
Well one of the more socially inept people I live with punches my stomach and says "yeah well there's a layer of fat there"
Like okay. First reaction was to get upset and annoyed at her because who the fuck says that, BUT THEN it hit me.
She's right. There's a layer of fat there. She's just being honest, you know? I can't blame her for saying something I already know.
So the only thing to do now is to lose the fat layer. To have the abs show and a flat stomach and be thin and fit. So next time I won't get comments like that.
Here's to taking a negative situation and turning it into something positive and motivating :)
[Discussion] Anyone else wait in doom for the calories to show up after a binge?
/u/kid_crad
Created: Tue Oct 3 01:22:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73yvs6/anyone_else_wait_in_doom_for_the_calories_to_show/
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I overate by 500 calories every day this week and binged a whole 3 lbs last week, like 10,000 extra calories. I feel the layer of fat over my body and it doesn't help that I'm already too fat. I'm 5'2 and last time I checked 130 lbs but now could be way way worse (scared to look). Anyways im getting a little suicidal over this and can't sleep. It's like 1 am. I suddenly have back fat so bad I can't sleep cause it's tight and uncomfortable. I forgot how to starve and I wanna die
[Discussion] For those of you in Australia and under 25y, and looking to recover, there are free psychologists available
/u/waitupana [14M | 147cm (4'10)]
Created: Tue Oct 3 00:19:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73ynk4/for_those_of_you_in_australia_and_under_25y_and/
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https://www.headspace.org.au
[Rant/Rave] Im so fucking upset
/u/CassTheUltimateBA [5'10 | 135.9 | 19.5 | 85 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 2 23:28:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73ygco/im_so_fucking_upset/
---
My boyfriend bought me home food. My fucking FAVORITE food from his work. Chicken and mushroom flatbread. FUCKING FAVORITE FOOD.
I made peace with myself that I was gonna eat it and it was gonna be okay. That im not gonna weigh for another week until after i get back from my vacation at disney. I went outside with him while he smoked a cigarette. I was all pumped for this flatbread.
The dog ate it. Guys that dog ate the whole thing and i started crying. Im still trying to not cry.
Its ruined the whole night. Whole night is ruined. I fucking hate my ed. Im not even mad he ate it. Im mad that I was okay with eating it and now its gone. Im not allowed to even happy eat something. everything is always fucking crying with this ed
[Help] Monthly take out night, no idea what to eat!
/u/Amoosedcow
Created: Mon Oct 2 22:45:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73y9q3/monthly_take_out_night_no_idea_what_to_eat/
---
Hi guys,
I'm a lurker, first time poster!
I'm facing a bit of a problem. Basically my partner and I have this once a month junk food night. Its usually just going down to my local fish and chip shop and eating some pretty high cal stuff.
I've been putting it off for months saying a variety of excuses mainly because I'm worried about the calories.
My partner said he would like to see me to eat a WHOLE plate (as in literally nothing left on it) and I'm just panicking.
I have no idea what I should get since 99 percent of it is deep fried as it is. ): They don't have salads and I know it would upset him a lot if I don't eat out with him. He's not trying to be a dick as much as it sounds like it. It's just a bit of a peeve he has because every other time we eat out I leave about half or less on my plate. I almost never clear it, unless it's veggies or something.
Do certain stores run big?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 2 21:41:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73xyjn/do_certain_stores_run_big/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] A tough day
/u/smallmadscientist [5'2" | SW: 160 | CW: 138 | -22 | GW: 110 | F 23]
Created: Mon Oct 2 21:36:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73xxpb/a_tough_day/
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I did not expect today to be...well, the way it ended up being. It started out as normal, but towards the end of the day, I kept hearing more and more about the tragedy that happened today and one of the fatalities happened to be someone I know.
The news turned my day into a downwards spiral, with having relationship drama on top of it all. I ended up having a very depressing evening, which is not normal for me. Despite having restricted most of the day, I still decided on a purge. I feel depressed tonight, going to try to sleep it off, hoping I'll feel better in the morning. Debating on taking a day off from work as well...
What's worse is that I'm an adult living on my own without my family near, so most nights like this where I'm unusually depressed, I really just want comfort and I cannot get it. I'm really debating getting a support dog for when I get like this...
Sorry for the rant, I just needed to get this off my chest. Please keep the victims from Las Vegas and their friends and families in your thoughts and/or prayers.
[Thinspo] Ball Joint Doll Thinspo... Goals!
/u/cloudsofdawn [169cm - 5'6.5' | CW: 127.4lbs | 20.23 BMI | -11lbs | F]
Created: Mon Oct 2 20:57:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73xqpx/ball_joint_doll_thinspo_goals/
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https://i.redd.it/4wtwcg7j5jpz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Jokes about ED's
/u/GiveMeASmosh [5''2' | 101.2lb | 18.5 | -13lb | f]
Created: Mon Oct 2 20:20:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73xjtd/jokes_about_eds/
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Today started out so great, was restricting like a badass and decided that between classes I'd get one of those Starbucks shaken iced tea lemonades since it's sweet but not super high calorie. It was the only calories I've had up until that time and I felt good about treating myself but still being reasonable.
I picked a nice spot half in the sun and half in the shade outside and sat down to enjoy my drink and people watch. And then two people came up and sat beside me and proceeded to destroy me for today. It was a girl and a guy and at first their convo was only mildly annoying. Things like "calorie counting doesn't work for everyone, people burn them differently".
After awhile they started making fun of girls who wanted to be skinny or diet. The girl kept saying "those girls" and the guy was agreeing, and then the guy said "yeah, the girls on the bulimia and water diet" and I felt my back tingle. I actually turned towards him and I'm pretty sure I made the ":o" face. They started blatantly making fun of specifically girls with eating disorders, and using rude terms for skinny women. I have never felt more like throwing up because of a social situation in my life.
It got to the point where I had to get up and leave, and it might have been passive aggressive but I moved across the plaza area and sat far away from them on the other side. Part of me wanted them to realize they should be careful of who might be within earshot. I don't understand how people can be so ignorant and hurtful, or not realize how much their words can affect the people around them. I'll carry the shame of hearing a stranger pour out their honest opinion of me (and people like me) for the rest of my life. How are people supposed to seek help when that's the type of judgment that hangs over their head?
I guess it's better not to hear the truth about people's judgments. Anyway, I've been too upset to each much besides a banana, some veggies, and a baby cookie today so that's nice.
[Goal] Officially a size 0 at Target! Yay!
/u/falafelwafflerofl
Created: Mon Oct 2 19:20:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73x88h/officially_a_size_0_at_target_yay/
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I'm officially to the smallest size I've ever been as an adult. I can't even right now. I can't believe when I started in December that I was a size 16. I'm honestly in shock right now. My brother even told me I was "too skinny" and inside I couldn't stop celebrating. I should probably maintain and keep building muscle, but I just want to keep losing. I can't believe I've made it this far and it makes me want to cry because I was ever that big before. But hey, today is a victory.
Edit: I guess I should edit that I'm 5'7" lol
[Help] Does anyone only eat breakfast?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 2 18:51:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73x2pk/does_anyone_only_eat_breakfast/
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[removed]
[Discussion] If you could have anything to help you on your journey, what would it be?
/u/gayishfish [5'7" | CW: embarrassing | BMI: high | -9 lbs | 23F]
Created: Mon Oct 2 18:11:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73wumf/if_you_could_have_anything_to_help_you_on_your/
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I dream of a pro ED subscription box ❤
[Rant/Rave] It finally happened. I broke down and binged 😵
/u/throatmealcrunch [5'0" | 74.2lbs | 15.26 (new) 14.49 (old)| GW 72lbs | F]
Created: Mon Oct 2 18:03:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73wszg/it_finally_happened_i_broke_down_and_binged/
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Sorry for the stupid rant. Ugh.
I've been hovering around a 15 bmi the past few weeks, and the cravings have started to become miserable. I keep finding myself half fantasizing, half having panic attacks about pizza.
I was stuck on a transatlantic flight today, and ate the meals. A gooey cheese omelette, a croissant, greasy potatoes, a pizza pastry, and even a lager. Like 1500 fucking calories.
And I wanted more.
I came home, ate two mini Reese's cups. Not too bad, right? Wrong. It's like the floodgates were opened. Within 20 minutes, I shoveled down two poptarts, biscuits with peanut butter and almond butter, and a few more Reese's cups. 1020 calories just like that. Fuck fuck fuck.
I chugged some water, tried to throw up, but I just can't.
I'm terrified I've fucked up my chances of getting treatment now. If I'm not under a bmi of 15 by next Tuesday, I don't think the NHS will take me seriously. I feel so weak.
[Rant/Rave] I only ate like 800 calories today and I'm really fucking happy
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 112.8 | GW: 105 | M/15]
Created: Mon Oct 2 18:02:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73wsuu/i_only_ate_like_800_calories_today_and_im_really/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Is there even a point in strength training while restricting?
/u/jjfmish [5'6 | HW:163lbs CW:150lbs GW:120lbs | 19/F]
Created: Mon Oct 2 17:41:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73wolc/is_there_even_a_point_in_strength_training_while/
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I'm not restricting that heavily compared to other people, but I'm eating around 1000 a day and losing weight pretty steadily. I'm already insecure about my flat butt as it is and don't want to end up skinny fat, but is there a point in strength training now while I'm in a pretty big defect? Or should I just wait until I'm at my goal weight and then start eating at maintenance and strength training? I don't want to waste my time or be hungrier than I already am.
[Discussion] Can we just take a moment to appreciate Trader Joe's autumn stuff
/u/cinnamonbicycle [5'2 | F | 🍑: shakylittleleaf]
Created: Mon Oct 2 17:23:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73wkz4/can_we_just_take_a_moment_to_appreciate_trader/
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They have these [freeze-dried fruit bags](https://imgur.com/a/gtVK1) that are 130 calories for THE ENTIRE BAG (except pineapple and mango, those are more). Fuji Apple is my favorite so far. I put it on pumpkin spice Cheerios with some chopped actual apple and cashew milk.
And today I found the answer to my savory pumpkin-spice-and-all-things-nice cravings: [FALL HARVEST SALSA.](https://imgur.com/a/8T3sH) 5 calories per tablespoon and so freaking good. It's not too spicy, which is good if you're a spice wuss like me. I like to eat it with corn Good Thins or slices of cucumber!
I also love the "This pumpkin walked into a bar" cereal bars. I bought four boxes today, lol. They're really decadent and pretty filling for only 140 calories. Out of all the pumpkin spice bars I've tried, these are by far the pumpkinyest.
Anyone else have favorite Trader Joes stuff? I swear I practically live in that store. (There's an awesome salad place right next door so I literally could lol)
[Rant/Rave] Ughh girl time ruined my fast, staying positive!!!
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Mon Oct 2 16:57:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73wfco/ughh_girl_time_ruined_my_fast_staying_positive/
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How often does your period interfere with your goals!!!
I've started getting mine 2 times a month a few months ago. Idk why, probably ED shit lololol
I hate doctors but may look into getting the bc shot. My period completely knocks me out to the point of missing work, I get severe depression, just want to die and chocolate is amazing. Each time I get more and more exhausted. Like I can't get up.
I ruined my 23/1 fast and I'm soooo annoyed! Need positive vibes! I stayed home from work today and slept for like 16 hours, I literally could not get out of bed. Also missed a concert I was sooooo excited about for months because of this. I could not stand up last night! Hope I can get back in the game tomorrow.
Honestly I wish my period would just go away....
Trying to stay positive. So much going on in the world I feel so upset. Sooo many close friends in Vegas. I woke up sooo late in pure panic. Everyone was okay but I'm so shaken by the unimaginable pain people are feeling right now. Thankful one of my friends couldn't get tickets. I know she loves country.
I feel so selfish, I hate myself.
[Rant/Rave] THIS IS NOT A DRILL (RAVE)
/u/sweettutu64 [5'3 | -51.4 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Oct 2 16:48:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73wdl4/this_is_not_a_drill_rave/
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[removed]
[Help] Having a really rough time.. help
/u/livvileo
Created: Mon Oct 2 16:21:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73w7vb/having_a_really_rough_time_help/
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Posting here because I have nowhere else to turn at the moment.. I’m having a really rough time right now. My best friend of 11+ years who I’ve been in love with for the last 2 moved out of the country to start a new life a couple weeks ago. We had (for the last couple of years) always joked about how much we love each other and how we’ll get married, etc. I joked because I couldn’t face telling him how I really felt and I think he did the same thing. He’s had a lot of issues (drug addiction) so when he finally got it together enough to leave the country I was super supportive. I told him he HAD to go because he’d never get better here. I even financed his plane ticket because I desperately want him to be happy and try to live a normal life.
Well, a week before he left we finally kissed for the first time. It was everything I’d hoped and if happened again the night before his flight out. Now that he’s gone, it’s triggered a huge depressive episode + restriction in me. 600ish calories a day or less since he left. On top of that I started smoking and drinking again.
We still talk every day and it’s sort of killing me to see him get clean and get a flat and a job, etc. I mean I really want him to have all those things, I just miss him terribly and I’ve been kicking myself daily for not telling him how I felt sooner. There’s just so much depression and self loathing around it that I can’t seem to clear my head.
I’m finally posting after lurking forever because I stayed home sick from work today. I am sick, but not that sick. And I wound up binge drinking at home, then binge eating (my first large-ish meal in weeks) and then purged it afterwards. I probably spent an hour crying over the toilet because I’m so depressed.
I feel like I have no one to turn to. My friends don’t seem to understand what it’s like to be in love with someone for so long, only to know that you can’t be with them. They know that I wanted him to leave but that’s all they can focus on. Yes I want him to leave because it’s what’s best for him and he would have died if he continued on the way he did. But the bigger selfish part of me wants him to come back and never leave and I can’t voice those feelings to anyone. My friend told me I shouldn’t waste my time on a “wounded bird”, but I think I am the wounded bird.
I’m sorry for such a long story, thanks for listening. You’re a great group. I don’t know what I’m looking for, I just need to tell someone..
[Rant/Rave] I wish there was an AA for eating disorders
/u/sp0ngeb0bcirclepants
Created: Mon Oct 2 16:19:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73w7ia/i_wish_there_was_an_aa_for_eating_disorders/
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I fantasize about it. I'm trying so hard to recover and not knowing anyone in real life who has eating problems (or no one who can talk about it) makes it seem impossible and so far away.... Also therapy is so expensive and insurance never seems to cover it, not even group.
Not sure what to flag this on and I'm on mobile; maybe help?
[Help] How many calories would this be?
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 112.8 | GW: 105 | M/15]
Created: Mon Oct 2 16:11:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73w5qw/how_many_calories_would_this_be/
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Basically my teacher gave me this bread thing that was like a 2x4x1 inch rectangle, and it tasted like a blueberry muffin. I don't want like a precise figure, just a very rough estimate but this is pissing me off, I'm thinking like 200 calories
[Help] Fighting that brain fog foe
/u/howlowcanigo_45 [5'7|CW 125.2|19.5|GW 115| 23F]
Created: Mon Oct 2 15:31:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73vwhu/fighting_that_brain_fog_foe/
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Unfortunately I'm struggling with keeping my calories reasonable and it's starting to wear heavy on my concentration and memory. I've got a round of exams coming up and I want to do well in them despite the monster of negative self talk crawling back into my brain.
How do you guys keep your mind clear? I would love to hear your experiences and if you found you could do enough to clear it for a short period of time.
Also you all are such a lovely community and I'm so glad to be a part of this. Thank you for all the wonderful support and love here :)
[Help] Staying Warm As Winter Approaches?
/u/send-shirataki-noods [5'7 | S: 136.2 | C: 119.8 | L: 114 | G: 110]
Created: Mon Oct 2 15:27:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73vvep/staying_warm_as_winter_approaches/
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So this will be my first winter really restricting (last winter was binging), and even though it’s October, I feel cold to my bones! My friends think I’m crazy for wearing wool knee socks and tall boots already, but I’m still near shivering! I have a space heater in my room, but I live in Canada and have a 20 minute walk to and from work each day. Any advice on keeping from freezing but still looking cute this fall and winter?
[Help] How do you talk to loved ones about your ED?
/u/ThrowboNanoo
Created: Mon Oct 2 14:58:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73vohq/how_do_you_talk_to_loved_ones_about_your_ed/
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Hey everyone, I'm trying to lean toward recovery in my life right now and I'm really struggling with how to talk to my parents about it.
My ED has affected me (secretly) over the last decade or so, but since I live alone and have been going through some stressful times lately it has had a lot of room to move in and grip my life hard. I have never sought support for it in any way but I'm at a breaking point now and I can't live like this anymore.
My parents are obviously noticing significant weight loss and are asking questions. I'm not physically capable of a lot lately, they notice I'm not eating at family events and I'm going into a recovery program so I think I need to be honest with them. Also they're in my life a lot, like "weekly family dinners" a lot. Yeah.
My mom has a pretty vibrant history of turning everything I go through to be about her, and my lifetime of emotional invalidation by her is actually a pretty major contributing factor to my anorexia.
I'm not really sure how to navigate this, and I'm looking for advice!
I was thinking of making like a physical report they can read with the facts about my diagnosis, helpful resources they can learn from or draw support from, ways they can support me, and what my recovery plan is? Keep it the least emotional possible.
I'm interested in any insight you may have. Thanks for reading, love to you all. 💕
[Goal] Anyone at their “goal weight” but still don’t see a difference??
/u/emerald--eyes
Created: Mon Oct 2 14:57:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73vo6m/anyone_at_their_goal_weight_but_still_dont_see_a/
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I am 5’9, was 126 pounds or thereabouts at my highest (last year). I always had a very thin torso but thick, muscular legs esp calves (seriously, if you looked at my legs alone, you’d think I was 50 pounds heavier).
So in the summer I was 122, now its been a month and I’m at 116, which is close to my goal of 115. However, my legs still look fat. Maybe its because 7 pounds really isnt that much to lose?
Curious as to when you guys started to see a noticeable difference. Currently my daily calorie intake hovers at about 800 to 1100 a day. I suppose I should make a new goal of maybe 110, and see where that takes me?
[Rant/Rave] Probably the worst thing you'll read today
/u/lazy1200
Created: Mon Oct 2 14:32:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73vi35/probably_the_worst_thing_youll_read_today/
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Throwaway, even though I NEVER do throwaways, because it's that awful of a thing...to me at least.
So, I'm having hella relationship issues. A lot of it probably stems from my mental health problems, but at least some of it has to do with the relationship itself. My boyfriend and I have been together for over 4 years. I was so so in love with him by like the 3 month mark. It was a sure thing, I had never had the type of connection with someone as I did with him. We were 19, and he was my first everything.
Well, 4 years is a lot of time. A lot of things changed between now and then. I've changed. I've gained a lot of weight (I was at my LW when I met him, sprung up to my HW and am back down to a mid weight that I tend to stay pretty steady at throughout my life "naturally"), my mental health is a F U C K I N G mess, I wish I was exaggerating... I'm just all over the place. But, he still loves me. He's still head over heels in love with me. It hurts to badly to see that.
To see him feel damn near exactly the same as he did at the beginning, to see me be at my lowest EVER in terms of pride, looks, health, etc. And still go, "Yes, this is the person I wanna be with for the rest of my life." It makes me sick to my stomach...mostly because he could do better, but definitely also because I don't feel the same at all anymore. I don't want to hurt him ever... he's done so much for me, been through so much emotional shit, took everything I've thrown at him, and he's fine with it. He loves me, it's all worth it...that's what he says. If you ask me, I think he's the dumbest person on earth. Who would willingly put up with all of this? He's handsome, hardworking, honest, sweet. He wouldn't have a problem finding someone else. But, he doesn't want anyone else?! I don't fucking understand.
Anyway, I've fallen out of love with him like the piece of human garbage I am. I've taken everything he's offered me, all of it, and now I want to walk away. I want to live alone with my two cats, I want to be a teacher and skip dinner every night and tuck myself into bed alone. I want to destroy myself, rebuild, and destroy again as many times necessary without having to shoulder the happiness of another person. Without worrying how my actions will affect someone else. I tried to break up with him, I really did. But, there's so many factors. Too many factors, and it's all too complicated right now. I need to finish school first, he needs to start school first. I need to save up more money, he needs to learn to let me go. I'm giving it time. I said I'd stay and try to figure it out. But I'm biding my time.
In the following month(s) I stay, I will be the sickest I've ever been. I will not eat, I will hardly sleep, I will cry, I will scream, I will purge (if I can even make myself), I will destroy myself in front of him. I will push him so far away with my actions he will fall out of love with me, he will be disgusted by me. He will shove me out the front door. He will free himself of me.
I'm doing this for his own good, that's what I tell myself. But really, this is the most selfish and horrible thing I've ever done in my life. I hate myself for it, and I'll probably never forgive myself either. But, it has to be done. How do you make someone who's in love with you fall out of love? Destroy every part of yourself, leave it to burn.
And don't even try to fix it. Because you're not worth the effort.
[Other] So I'm looking for hotels for my Honeymoon... (I swear this is ED related lol)
/u/tinywolfxo [5'4"|C 121.6|G 105|H 162|L 97|F|BMI 20.9]
Created: Mon Oct 2 14:13:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73vdi6/so_im_looking_for_hotels_for_my_honeymoon_i_swear/
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... and I have about four hotels I've narrowed it down to. I'm really leaning towards this one hotel, and you want to know why?
BECAUSE A BATHROOM SCALE IS INCLUDED IN THE ROOM.
The thought of being able to weigh myself in my own room and go to the gym at the hotel if I start gaining sounds like the best thing in the world. Can't tell my fiance that this is the reason why I like it best though LOL.
# edprobs
[Rant/Rave] Why do I hate myself like I binged, even when I didn't?
/u/shadowmachines
Created: Mon Oct 2 14:00:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73v9w7/why_do_i_hate_myself_like_i_binged_even_when_i/
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First-post lurker here...
I was all bummed today because SO and I had a mini-fight, and I REALLY WANTED TO EAT MY FEELINGS so I wouldn't have to feel them. I caved and ate 3 oz of cheesy tofu crumbles (104 cal), 1 cup of puffed Kamut cereal (50 cal), and half a cucumber in balsamic vinegar with salt (15 cal). Then I spent a long time feeling like I had failed, and I had caved into food again, and why does food control my life, and why am I such a failure etc. (you know the drill). And then I logged my food, and realized I ate 169 calories. That's it. I didn't eat an entire pint of ice cream. I didn't eat an entire pizza. I didn't eat an entire week's worth of calories in a day. I'm not even going to go over my limit for today. This was actually a victory. So why do I still feel like such a failure????? What is my brain trying to do to me?!??!
[Help] Going to my favorite dessert place with my family in 2 hours, please help me avoid temptation
/u/ineedtogetlighter [5'4 | CW: 152.6 lbs | 1.8 lbs | GW: 120 lbs | Male]
Created: Mon Oct 2 13:29:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73v2ar/going_to_my_favorite_dessert_place_with_my_family/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Nervousness!
/u/thatgirlwholikespink
Created: Mon Oct 2 13:09:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73uxjx/nervousness/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] My skinny friend thinks she is too fat.
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 64.9 kg | BMI: 24.1 | -18.6 kg | F]
Created: Mon Oct 2 12:15:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73ukbn/my_skinny_friend_thinks_she_is_too_fat/
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This is going to be a rant so please excuse my text gets a little messed up.
Just like the title said, my friend who is wearing a size small and is just a little bloated thinks she needs to lose weight. The thing is, I find it terribly annoying because here I am, lost enough weight to be considered "normal" on the upper scale but am still too fat and still hate myself. Well because we are friends of course I told her that I'm losing weight (she doesn't know about my very particular relationship with food) and OF COURSE it had to be all about her again and that she gained so much weight that she needs to lose. I have to admit, although I like her a lot I was ecstatic when I heard that she gained weight. I'm horrible I know. And today she got the idea to count calories. So if she is fat, what am I? A friggin whale?! Oh and because that is not enough I have to listen to her complain how hard it is to not just shove chocolate down your throat, and how hard it is to lose weight. Yeah...if it was that easy everybody would look like a model, but we don't! I still have her mean little voice in my ear from 7 years ago that said "well it is your own fault you gained weight, you better work it off!" when I dared to mention my weight to her. MannI really feel like a horrible person now, anyway that's it for my rant.
[Discussion] Extensions of This Sub Reddit
/u/itsheaja
Created: Mon Oct 2 11:50:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73uees/extensions_of_this_sub_reddit/
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I really dig this group and was wondering what was everyone's favorite extension of this group. I saw on the community info that there was Peach and Discord, and I was wondering which was more popular or if there was a FB group.
[Other] when you go shopping for the next two weeks and you're a healthy person with a normal diet
/u/physics_chick
Created: Mon Oct 2 11:46:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73uddp/when_you_go_shopping_for_the_next_two_weeks_and/
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https://i.imgur.com/O3kg9hm.jpg
[Rant/Rave] You guys, I'm engaged!
/u/diet247x [5'3 | CW: 133 lbs | -22 lbs | GW: 110 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Oct 2 11:26:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73u8qk/you_guys_im_engaged/
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My boyfriend (er, fiance lol) proposed to me and I'm engaged! I'm so excited but I'm feeling so super anxious about wedding planning. I've been slowly losing weight for the past year and a half (I've lost 22 lbs), and I have about 30 more pounds I want to lose.
I was planning on losing it slowly, but ugh I'm so nervous about wedding dress shopping. Also, the wedding industry is absolutely insane with diet tips - all of a sudden, it's just acceptable to do a 10-day juice cleanse, or super low cal diets that are labeled as "bride diets". Wtf society.
Have any of you girls lost weight for a wedding? I'm super happy but also lowkey freaking out.
[Discussion] DAE hate when a friend says, "our fat asses..."??
/u/octobertwins
Created: Mon Oct 2 11:19:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73u71r/dae_hate_when_a_friend_says_our_fat_asses/
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Yesterday, I hosted a children's birthday party at an inflatable jumpy place. I challenged one of the other moms to a race through one of the obstacle courses.
She kept saying, "omg! Our fat asses will never make it up the ladder!"
"Our fat asses will never fit thru the tunnel..."
It was freaking me out. WE are out of shape? WE are too fat! It's like, how fat do I look right now? Fat enough to be considered a fellow-fat person?? :''''(
I am 15lbs heavier than my 'omg-youre-so-skinny!!' weight. I'm getting back on track today. That was the kick in the ass I needed.
[Discussion] Anorexia and Sex
/u/sourcandylightening [BMI 17.2]
Created: Mon Oct 2 10:56:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73u1ic/anorexia_and_sex/
---
I'm just curious how many people here are in relationships and have a healthy sex life. I know I have struggled for a long time and that there are some correlations between sex and eating disorders, so I am curious about your experiences.
[Help] Laxatives Not Working
/u/xox_morbid
Created: Mon Oct 2 10:43:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73tyhi/laxatives_not_working/
---
So I don’t abuse laxatives. Never have. But lately, I CANT POOP. I’ve tried senocot and extra strength exlax. I eat veggies and fruit. All I drink is water.
Can you guys recommend something? 😂😩
[Help] Wedding weight loss help
/u/spress1985
Created: Mon Oct 2 10:40:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73txvf/wedding_weight_loss_help/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] What are some things you plan on doing when you reach your GW?
/u/Banana-Ghost
Created: Mon Oct 2 09:59:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73to55/what_are_some_things_you_plan_on_doing_when_you/
---
I plan on buying a new outfit (hopefully still in winter time), some books I thought about getting (I study literature), maybe go to a hairdresser if I can afford it and eat potatoes! (haven't had potatoes in sO LONG)
[Rant/Rave] My college is full of Instagram models and it's getting hard to handle (aka, no matter how much weight I lose I'll always be unattractive)
/u/jjfmish [5'6 | HW:163lbs CW:150lbs GW:120lbs | 19/F]
Created: Mon Oct 2 09:58:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73tnrk/my_college_is_full_of_instagram_models_and_its/
---
I know, I know, I shouldn't compare myself to others, blah blah blah.
Idk how it works in the US, but I'm from Ontario, Canada, and most people stay in-province for university since there are so many schools here. This has led to basically every university developing its own stereotype of the type of people that go there, and they're usually pretty accurate. I happen to go to the 'hot girl' school.
Obviously there's still a good amount of normal and even unattractive girls, but the percent of hot to average looking is super skewed. I'm also in a sorority, which just makes everything worse.
It's just so shitty to know that, no matter how much weight I'll lose, I'll never be pretty. My eyes are too far apart, my nose is too big, my face is too wide, I have a ton of acne scarring, my hips are too small and my shoulders are too big, I have no butt etc. I'm average looking with makeup and only get hit on when I'm wearing something that shows my bigger than average boobs.
Sorry for the rant, I just hate myself.
[Discussion] Monday, here again, bring all the anxiety to the yard-what are your goals and challenges this week?
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Mon Oct 2 09:43:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73tkd1/monday_here_again_bring_all_the_anxiety_to_the/
---
Anxiety...my best friend. He went on vacation for 2 days and is back. Welcome back! My goals this week are to not let him dominate my thoughts. I'm trying to separate ED thoughts from my thoughts. I know it'll be a daily battle but if I can get to the weekend I can enjoy some peace. Last weekend was great actually. I had free time I had no clue what to do with and it was fabulous. My eating was meh, I think I'm creeping to a dangerous place of convincing myself I don't like certain foods which is manifesting physically as nausea so I physically can't eat.
Goals of the week- eat, even if restricted, no fasting which I've been debating doing a long fast for weeks but my refeeding swelling is improving so don't want to tempt fate but seems what's the difference between 700 and 0 calories, right?
Challenges of the week - ignore annoying ass coworkers, work and go home, complete exercise and restricting goals, give myself rest this weekend.
I hope everyone is able to balance self care and disorder this week, harm mitigation.
[Rant/Rave] why oh why are my calves massive
/u/fitisthegoal
Created: Mon Oct 2 09:29:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73tgws/why_oh_why_are_my_calves_massive/
---
I've always had strong legs, like noticeable quads when I flex without doing any leg workouts and now that I am working out I am NOT doing any for lower leg at the risk of these things getting any bigger.
I already have short legs...I need them to not look like tree trunks.
Here's to never eating at a 'safe' deficit again.
[Rant/Rave] I give up on trying to look cute at this weight
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 2 09:14:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73tdmq/i_give_up_on_trying_to_look_cute_at_this_weight/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] relapse
/u/gameofboness
Created: Mon Oct 2 08:23:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73t236/relapse/
---
well, this sucks. i can never make it to the part in recovery where i come to peace with gaining weight. it's just gain, gain, gain until i realize i'm not hitting the self love part and if i'm going to hate my body i might as well be skinny. i know that's not "true" recovery, which sucks even more. it's like climbing up a hill but the top never gets closer.
anyway, i'm back.
[Rant/Rave] Great start to the day
/u/doses_and_neuroses
Created: Mon Oct 2 08:21:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73t1oh/great_start_to_the_day/
---
This morning I ordered a grande almondmilk latte at Starbucks like always bc it's only 100 calories and it is delish. When my order came out it definitely WAS NOT made with almondmilk because it didn't taste or look like usual. I'm pretty sure it was made with 2% milk which is 90% more calories than the almondmilk one. I asked the barista about it and she claimed it was made with almondmilk and because I hate confrontation I just accepted it and thought maybe I was being crazy or they just made the drink slightly differently this time.
But it definitely was made with cow's milk because I just spent the past half hour pooping my guts out and then sobbing bc I consumed 90 more calories than I planned. Someone at work heard me crying about it and I had to lie about why I was crying because I sound insane. I fucking hate this disorder BUT ALSO incompetent baristas!!!
[Rant/Rave] I hate fluctuations so damn much
/u/bananapeppr [5'3" | 108.8 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 2 07:05:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73smnx/i_hate_fluctuations_so_damn_much/
---
Seriously like what the fuck though. A new low yesterday then I dared to eat close to maintenance and bounce back up a pound and a half. I know its not ~real~ weight but what even is real weight? Its just what the scale says in the morning and how it makes me feel all day.
So yeah I'm never eating maintenance again thanks body.
[Rant/Rave] Y'all I found something in the store yesterday.....this is like discovering Cantaloupe all over again!!!
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 161.8 | GW:118 | -4 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 2 07:04:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73smni/yall_i_found_something_in_the_store_yesterdaythis/
---
GoGurt! Yes my friends, Go fucking Gurt. In the flavors we all knew and loved as kids, with spongebob on the box. 50, yes FIFTY KCAL A TUBE. And obviously you don't eat it soft, you stick it in the freezer because that is the only acceptable way to eat GoGurt. But seriously, 50 kcal a tube! Mind fuckin blown.
[Discussion] Who doesn't count calories?
/u/livingoncoffeee
Created: Mon Oct 2 06:53:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73skrt/who_doesnt_count_calories/
---
I have every time before... but this time I'm not and it makes me feel wierd. Like, I'm doing a liquid diet this week just to reset because I ate a ton this weekend, but I'm letting myself have broth and coffee with milk and sugar and soup even though they have calories and I don't feel guilty about it at all.
I'm not even weighing myself daily, and I'm not freaking out about desserts, I just don't want to eat more and stop when I feel gross. It's like I don't care ... but I care so much at the same time...
What is happening? :( I'm so confused about my own emotions and actions and if they're even disordered at this point.
[Rant/Rave] Why Complan
/u/boohochix
Created: Mon Oct 2 06:38:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73shzj/why_complan/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Anyone else get weird ED dreams?
/u/abbymakeup [5'1.5" | 125.2 | too high | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 2 06:23:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73sfj3/anyone_else_get_weird_ed_dreams/
---
so I think I made a post about this a while back but I don't remember. Well the first time I ever dreamt of my ED was when I was "recovered" and it was of me running on a treadmill and I was getting skinnier and skinnier and my family was all begging me to get off the treadmill and stop but I wouldn't. This dream I think actually triggered my ED thoughts again and what caused me to relapse.
Well last night I had another ED related dream. I was back in high school and it was before school but I was pulling all my clothes off so that I could weigh myself before I went to school. We were running late and my sister was getting mad at me for making her late, but all I could think was that I need to weigh myself to make sure I'm not fat. I stepped on the scale and I weighed 174lbs! The highest weight I've ever been was 133lbs so to see that number on the scale was absolutely devastating.
Anyway anyone else get weird ED dreams?
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! October 02, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Oct 2 06:14:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73se2j/weekly_stats_update_october_02_2017/
---
This is the weekly status thread for October 02, 2017.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 02, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Oct 2 06:14:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73se1q/daily_food_diary_october_02_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 02, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Help] How do you keep yourself feeling positive and motivated when your goal weight seems so far away?
/u/ineedtogetlighter [5'4 | CW: 152.6 lbs | 1.8 lbs | GW: 120 lbs | Male]
Created: Mon Oct 2 06:11:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73sdn7/how_do_you_keep_yourself_feeling_positive_and/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] October 2nd, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 2 04:57:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73s2q0/october_2nd_2017_question_of_the_day/
---
What do you crave?
[Rant/Rave] Binge Binge Binge Binge Binge Binge
/u/kzxwy [5' 6" | CW: 129.0 | HW: 145.0 | GW: 115.0 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 2 04:33:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73rzf8/binge_binge_binge_binge_binge_binge/
---
I have binged every day for the past 19 days. 19 fucking days. Almost an entire month. Every single day uncontrollably stuffing my face full of food. I was halfway to my goal weight (I'd lost 16 of 30 pounds I wanted to lose). I was 129!! Finally in the 120s again, from a weight of 145 and borderline overweight BMI. I felt so great about myself. So powerful and in control.
I had started a new relationship. Received a promotion at work. The weight kept going down, and I was recognized for that by my friends and colleagues. Even my asshole boss told me I was looking good.
Then I fucked it all up so quickly. It all started with one day; I had a stressful day at work. On top of that, I had a fight with my parents and my guy. I felt alone and sad. So I went home and binged for the first time in months. I ate an entire package of kashi oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. 130 calories each. 1040 in a package. They tasted dry and stale as the went down. I even heated them up in the microwave to try to make taste better, but that only made them burn in addition to being dosgusting.
From then I went into a downward spiral. The next night, an entire Papa Johns's pepperoni pizza with cinnamon sticks and icing. Soon after, a subway steak and cheese sandwich, with a bag of chips and a cookie. I was like a shark who had a smell of blood. I ate a large bag of tootsie rolls in secret in the bathroom at work. Then a whole bag of frozen french fries, a whole box of msc and cheese, and a pint of ice cream as a "snack" when I got home. I would start off the day tracking my calories, but eventually give up when I knew I'd failed. Repeat x 19.
Each meal is followed by shame and disgust in myself. And oh how quickly the comments from my coworkers have changed as well. "You are always snacking" said one. "Guess you gave up on that diet, huh?" said another. And the most painful: "Not all of us have the willpower for the fitness lifestyle".
I'm too scared to weigh myself and see how much I've gained. Too scared to update my flair on this sub. Too scared to own up to my mistakes.
I was going to start intermittent fasting today (see yesterday's post). I was going to wait to eat until 7pm to eat. I even had my delicious, homemade meal planned out for me for tonight. I thought I had the solution to beat this binge cycle. But, like the pathetic fatass I am, I didn't even make it to 9am.
I don't know how to escape this. I was doing so well, and now I can't seem to get back on track. Someone please help me, tell me what to do.
I love you guys. I hope you are having a better night than I am.
[Help] Got a motherfripping bread maker and slow cooker.
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Mon Oct 2 04:10:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73rwe1/got_a_motherfripping_bread_maker_and_slow_cooker/
---
Y'all I am so excited!
Please send me all your low calorie bread and slow cooker recipes!
[Rant/Rave] Need some advice
/u/hardyzafon [5'4 | CW: 100 | GW: 95| F]
Created: Mon Oct 2 03:55:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73rug1/need_some_advice/
---
I binged all summer and went from 95 lbs to 121lbs and I don´t want to live anymore, I can´t stand being like this, I´m desperate. I just need someone to tell me they´ve done it, they´ve been there and got through it, I need to lose again and I know it can be done but it´s so much harder when you´re already fat and disgusting and can feel all the fat in your body and with everyone treating you sooooo differently. Has anyone ever coped with something like this? I thought I was over the weightissue, so much more mature, could concentrate on other things. I should have created a good life when I was at 97 lbs but instead here I am as if I was 16 all over again
[Help] Poor ED-ers, what are your grocery staples?
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 56 | 18.71/18.49 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 2 03:38:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73rset/poor_eders_what_are_your_grocery_staples/
---
I know we've all been indoctrinated in the church of Monster Ultra and Diet Coke but those are quite pricey. But cheap foods tend to be things like rice, pasta, and beans. Veggies are quite cheap when bought in season, but I was wondering if you guys have any other secret low cal, low cost products?
[Rant/Rave] Reached another low point
/u/iceleo
Created: Mon Oct 2 03:22:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73rql7/reached_another_low_point/
---
I started purging random things like soda and water several times and I feel so fucked up my brains foggy and I can barely comprehend it's like my thoughts don't go together. I always told myself I wouldn't do this but yeah here I am doing what I said I wouldn't. Logically I should stop, but I just force myself to drink or eat more and do it over and over again no matter how tired I am.
[Rant/Rave] Tunnel Vision
/u/MN-alt [5'3|147|26.0|19F]
Created: Mon Oct 2 00:14:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73r40f/tunnel_vision/
---
After seven years of trying to quit bingeing, I'm finally pretty much over it.
I've been hitting 500kcal for the past three days [haven't binged for weeks though], and I don't know what it is this time around, but I finally feel like I can actually do it. Like I can actually restrict severely/exercise heavily and drop all the weight by the end of the 2017. Like I can lose over 10 pounds of pure fat each month for the remaining three months.
I don't know if this is because I'm at the highest of highs or the lowest of lows, but I finally beat the binge. Food is just that...food. I'm numb, but I'm not hungry. Skinny, here I finally fucking come.
[Goal] Reached my first GW
/u/2017HeyJude
Created: Mon Oct 2 00:06:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73r2z6/reached_my_first_gw/
---
[on mobile, please flair as goal]
I felt like I was stuck in a plateau for days and this morning I woke up earlier and had to use the bathroom so on the way back I weighed myself. The woosh came! I’m at 50kg ! Which is a round number I haven’t seen on a scale FOR YEARS. (I was 58kg a few months ago, lost a bit because of an illness and started restricting around 54kg this summer. So it’s not DRASTIC but I prefer slow and steady, it’s easier to hide) Even though I don’t really trust my scale (uneven floors), it made my heart skip a bit.
I can’t tell anybody I know because I’m trying to hide it so I wanted to share with you guys, the woosh is real and goals are atteignable. 💕
(Now of course I’m pushing my GW a bit further but I might treat myself to something to celebrate. What do you suggest?)
[Other] wouldn't it be nice
/u/Trynabeskinny [5"1 | 202lbs | 37.5 | GW 96 | F | 🍑 trynabeskinny]
Created: Sun Oct 1 23:54:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73r1ah/wouldnt_it_be_nice/
---
https://imgur.com/xYIVOnX
[Rant/Rave] I only ate one meal today.
/u/caithaa [5'7 | 120 | 18.78 | 20F 🌼]
Created: Sun Oct 1 23:13:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73qvq3/i_only_ate_one_meal_today/
---
After this awful week of binging, which hit a peak yesterday where I couldn't stop eating from 11 am to about 5 pm, I finally stopped.
I only had 2 pieces of low-cal toast (90), tuna (140), and cheddar cheese (80) today.
I am so happy I could cry. I'm currently having some tea in bed, and I feel proud and beautiful and clean. Hope everyone's having a blessed day :)
[Help] What 'groceries' should I get?
/u/Anghoul [5'6''|BMI: 22.12|GW: 120|WL: 75|]
Created: Sun Oct 1 23:03:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73qu72/what_groceries_should_i_get/
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I like whole foods, and I workout so protein is a bonus.
I'm definitely buying lentils, protein bars and gum.
I dislike soda, energy drinks, candy, any a' that stuff. I don't like canned soups because they're so salty, I prefer to make my own stuff.
I might buy frozen produce or fresh fruit; but since I live with my boyfriend now it's a bit harder to measure calories because he's hyper-aware of my disorder, he's nice about it but pretty stern and lets me get away with jack-shit. I guess I'm lucky that he, his family AND my family are nice about it. My mom has had her fair share of shitfits about it; but I guess I understand? She's had EDs too.
I digress, I'd wanna buy stuff he won't like/eat, he likes all the same stuff I do, like whole foods, soup, protein bars, spiced lentils, etc. so... eh. He likes hummus, but he won't eat prepackaged hummus so I was thinking of those and baby carrots, which he also doesn't like.
Sorry for the rant, thanks for the read.
[Help] Recommended protein bars?
/u/Anghoul [5'6''|BMI: 22.12|GW: 120|WL: 75|]
Created: Sun Oct 1 22:45:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73qrhe/recommended_protein_bars/
---
Title says it all, I'm looking for low-cal protein bars. Preferably 14G or up.
I liked quest because they were relatively low-calorie for their 20+G of protein, they were really filling and you can bake them into weird cookies- I hated the flavours and stevia though.
They're also like... as I've seen someone else dub them "chemical bricks". They're full of garbage, and taste of it.
I also like clifs builder bars, but they're around 270 cal and they're way too sweet for me- they have a bunch of vitamins added though so... as a meal replacement they aren't too bad, just too sugary. :/
I thought of making my own protein bars, but until then I'd like a safe alternative.
Side note, pro pumpkin protein powder (made from pumpkin seeds, not flavoured) is 10g of protein for 55 cals. It's phenomenal.
[Discussion] New BBC program about anorexia
/u/amoonshapedpool-
Created: Sun Oct 1 22:29:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73qp1t/new_bbc_program_about_anorexia/
---
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p05gl7r2
[Rant/Rave] Cutting down on groceries is AWESOME.
/u/Maple_Beef [5'2" | CW: lmao | UGW: 50KG | 18F]
Created: Sun Oct 1 22:13:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73qmcw/cutting_down_on_groceries_is_awesome/
---
Just wanted to make a quick post in celebration of my first two months of cutting-back on my food.
After months of my expenditure budget being dominated by food, I made a spreadsheet to track my weekly takeout/grocery expenses. They were through the roof. $700 per month, all on food.
Something had to change, and immediately. I planned-out a week's worth of meals and my grocery bill came to $27 rather than $77. No food goes to waste in my fridge anymore because I never have leftovers that I forget to eat or veggies/meat that I forget to cook. Completely stopped ordering Uber Eats and am saving myself an extra $50-100 a week. Everything is organised for once in my life.
After two months of cutting back, I've saved enough money to buy myself a video camera, something I've dreamed about having but could never cough up the funds for. It arrives in the mail today and I'm so excited and proud.
[Help] Boyfriend’s awkward comments on eating disorders
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 1 22:03:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73qkka/boyfriends_awkward_comments_on_eating_disorders/
---
Hi y’all, it’s Horsie.
I’m having a bit of a problem with my boyfriend. For some reason (probably because I’m always talking about food?), food/bulimia/anorexia have come up a few times in my pretty new relationship.
He doesn’t know much about my disordered habits (at this point it probably just seems like a strict diet), but has made comments implying that only skinny people (people who “look” anorexic) can be anorexic or bulimic, etc. All I’ve managed to do at this point is kind of hesitate and say something like “ermm, ah that’s not always true ehhmmm err” very awkwardly.
I know he’s just unaware and ignorant, not malicious. How should I deal with this? Just ignore it for now until I finally feel comfortable with him knowing? When he says things like that, it makes me feel very awkward and uncomfortable. I feel like if I keep bringing it up and correcting him and describing actual habits, that it’ll obviously point towards me.
Haaaalllllpppp 😢
[Help] Ephedrine in Mississippi?
/u/traumlieben [5'5" | cw:120 | gw:100 | -73 | 22F]
Created: Sun Oct 1 21:55:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73qj36/ephedrine_in_mississippi/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] DAE obsessively take pics of their body?
/u/cartoonsandscience [6'1 | CW 142.6 | -30 | GW 136 | 20M]
Created: Sun Oct 1 21:17:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73qcqg/dae_obsessively_take_pics_of_their_body/
---
I have to take an obsessive amount of pictures of my body every day because I can't really comprehend how my body looks to others. Anyone else?
[Help] Maintenance and increasing
/u/ci-fre
Created: Sun Oct 1 20:50:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73q86b/maintenance_and_increasing/
---
Yo. I'm trying to increase my calories to maintenance but I have nooo idea how to do this stuff. I'm planning on increasing by a certain amount every week but I don't know how much to add... how fast do you guys usually do this? I'm actually really don't want to lose more atm in the interest of harm reduction ;v; (since I didn't do well at a weight 3lb below what I am now; right now I am 75-76 lbs and I think my family and everyone was concerned when I was 73ish).
I don't want to go super quickly but I don't want to go super slowly since I feel quite hungry at 600-700 per day! >_>
I feel really lost right now! Any suggestions?
[Tip] Watch this to curb fast food cravings!! (Save a life)
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | SW: 130 | CW: ~125 | GW: small | 20F]
Created: Sun Oct 1 20:44:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73q72v/watch_this_to_curb_fast_food_cravings_save_a_life/
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https://www.facebook.com/ThisIsMythical/videos/vb.1842396149348428/1935998626654846/?type=2&theater
[Other] /r/proED got mentioned in an article (an awful one too)
/u/taeyeons-comrade [5'6" | 130 | 21.0 | F ☕]
Created: Sun Oct 1 20:43:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73q6ya/rproed_got_mentioned_in_an_article_an_awful_one/
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http://www.therooster.com/blog/pro-anorexia-websites-celebrate-deadly-disease
[Help] Bruising?
/u/caffeineand_nicotine [5'5 | 123 | 20.7 | -55 | Female]
Created: Sun Oct 1 20:43:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73q6wo/bruising/
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Soo I've been restricting pretty hard lately and I'm covered in bruises?? I've always been clumsy, it's no wonder where they're all coming from really, but I constantly look absolutely battered. Even little bumps and dings leave huge marks on me now. I've got somewhere around 30 bruises on my legs alone, and my arms look pretty beat up too.
Has anyone else experienced something like this? Does it have something to do with restriction?
[Thinspo] Claire boucher is beautiful
/u/Che789 [5'6'' | CW: 113 | GW: 98 | -3 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 1 20:36:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73q5ot/claire_boucher_is_beautiful/
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https://i.redd.it/xma0a2uuwbpz.jpg
[Help] Preggo, and it isn't marinara
/u/SpitAndPennyStyle [5'2" |145lbs|preggo]
Created: Sun Oct 1 20:31:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73q4vn/preggo_and_it_isnt_marinara/
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Fiance and I found out I was pregnant today. I was wondering why I was retaining while restricting and feeling so nauseous even when I tried to eat normally. I'm happy that I'm pregnant but I'm still overweight. I'm nervous about eventual weight gain but I know it's necessary because there's a wee babe that needs to eat. I want to be healthy for the baby and I know you're supposed to maintain for the first trimester if you're normal size. How long do I maintain from here? There's an attitude of "bigger is better" for pregnant women here in the states but this just isn't an attitude I can take. Kinda wish I was down to size so I could look like I'm hiding a basketball under my shirt but it's not to be. (Thank you for reading this giant block of text I still don't know how to do paragraphs)
[Thinspo] Grimes is beautiful
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 1 20:31:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73q4tf/grimes_is_beautiful/
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https://i.redd.it/gdifm1qzvbpz.jpg
Avoid stress eating
/u/percola
Created: Sun Oct 1 20:19:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73q2m3/avoid_stress_eating/
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[removed]
[Other] When your fridge is on fleek 🍒🖤
/u/nightmaerceci
Created: Sun Oct 1 20:06:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73q08r/when_your_fridge_is_on_fleek/
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https://i.redd.it/6a2lscvirbpz.jpg
Binge-free bud?
/u/Letslosethirty
Created: Sun Oct 1 19:55:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73py5e/bingefree_bud/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Weight v volume of food
/u/awayawaydown [c: 17.1 | g: 16.3]
Created: Sun Oct 1 19:45:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73pwam/weight_v_volume_of_food/
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For those of you who restrict and count calories, how many of you measure food using cups v weigh it on a food scale? What are your thoughts?
[Intro] hi. im back.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 1 19:41:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73pvk5/hi_im_back/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Family
/u/Four_Names [5'6"|CW 137|BMI 22.2| -33.9| F]
Created: Sun Oct 1 19:19:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73pr61/family/
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Does anyone have family that hates them for their ED?
After I started binging and purging, and my mom found out about it, she'd curse me out and threaten to hit me whenever she'd known I'd thrown up afterwards. She comes into the bathroom and smells it, and slams doors around and yells "Fuck you!" And "I want to punch you in the fucking face, wasting money we don't have" and I feel awful. I don't want to eat this much. I hate puking. I feel like I'm taking from her when she works 40+ hours a week and she spends money on food that I don't even digest. I don't wan't to be this way and I've tried and failed to be any other way and I need help.
She says I can tell her anything and she wants to help me, but why the hell should I go for her for support when she acts like this?
[Discussion] "Odd" goal weights?
/u/swagcat9000 [5'5" | 131 lbs | 21.8 | -37 | M |]
Created: Sun Oct 1 19:14:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73pq92/odd_goal_weights/
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So my UGW currently is 116 or 109.
This is because they're both a perfect square plus another perfect square (10x10 plus 4x4 or 3x3) and I like those numbers being perfect and all.
Anyone else?
[Rant/Rave] I finally ordered my own bathroom scale!
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 93lbs | BMI 17.0 | 20F]
Created: Sun Oct 1 18:58:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73pn33/i_finally_ordered_my_own_bathroom_scale/
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This is so stupid lol but I had to share.
I've been at college for a little over a month and not being able to weigh myself has been destroying me. I finally caved and ordered a scale from Walmart online. It'll arrive tomorrow :) I don't expect it to be super accurate when it comes to tenths of a lb, but it works. I honestly can't wait to be able to weigh myself everyday.
Thank god.
[Help] How do you guys get through plateaus?
/u/courtenaymersa95 [5'2| CW: 93.5kg |GW: 65-70kgs |37.2 BMI | -3.5kg | F22]
Created: Sun Oct 1 18:38:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73pj7e/how_do_you_guys_get_through_plateaus/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Insomnia is fucking me over
/u/applesforhungry
Created: Sun Oct 1 18:15:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73peig/insomnia_is_fucking_me_over/
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I've always had a really bad sleeping pattern but since I moved away for uni it's got unbearable, I can never sleep more than 3 hours a night and I can only manage that if I have a spliff first. It wouldn't be that bad if I wasn't so fucking tired in the day but I have a huge workload and so I turn to energy drinks and sugary food to give me quick boosts. I never eat more than my daily limit of 600 but still it's annoying to have to depend on food like this. The worst thing is that it's at night that I get my worst cravings for food and have nearly slipped up so many times just out of pure boredom or frustration at not sleeping. I want to go to the doctor about it but I don't want them to ask about my eating habits and rapid weight loss which they probably will as nutrition and energy levels are linked.
UGH I JUST WANT TO SLEEEEEP.
[Rant/Rave] My 11 year old sister broke down as she caught me hiding food and now I feel like a shit sister.
/u/lunamoon1 [165.5cm | cw: 108lbs | lw: 93lbs |19f]
Created: Sun Oct 1 18:10:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73pdkx/my_11_year_old_sister_broke_down_as_she_caught_me/
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It’s not really a rant or a rave, but more like a off my chest. Basically I’ve been recently discharged from IP so she’s seen at my worst(I’ve been hospitalised several times before going into a specialist ED Unit before because of low blood sugars/suicide attempts this year).
She saw me hiding a banana today(its part of my “meal plan” im supposed to be following and broke down and cried as she said she’s so worried for me.
It just makes me feel so shitty how eating disorders are so destructive. I don’t want her worrying about me. I hate the fact I’m causing her so much mental pain. :(
I hope she doesn’t have to go though the pain I’m going though :(.
I don’t deserve to be a sister to her as I’m an embarrassment as I keep losing weight and repeating the cycle all over again of hospital admissions.
[Rant/Rave] DAE hate it when a "healthy" recipe is significantly over your calorie limit?
/u/sororityasian
Created: Sun Oct 1 18:05:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73pcip/dae_hate_it_when_a_healthy_recipe_is/
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I went vegan a couple weeks ago, and it's been pretty manageable. I feel better, I breathe better, I think better. I eat an egg or two for the B12 per week, because taking an artificial supplement doesn't seem too healthy to me. And meat is generally expensive and hard for me to cook since I only have a small kitchenette.
But I am getting bored of my food tho (mostly veggies, 200 cal vegan pad thai, and oats) and went onto Pinterest to look for "healthy, low-cal, vegan meals". Low-cal is drizzling a tablespoon of olive oil on roasted veggies. That's 120 calories just right there. How about an overnight chia seed pudding with berries? Chia seeds are 140 calories per ounce.... And you can imagine all the vegan treats that call for almond butter (100 calories per tablespoon), avocados (300~ calories each), black beans (freaking 600+ calories per cup!!!*) would just drive someone who's restricting for <500 calories per day up a wall.
*EDIT: Sorry, I googled this 1 cup black beans and it gave me the calories for uncooked. Thanks for AngelicZero for the correction!
[Discussion] DAE have a really pretty family?
/u/fitisthegoal
Created: Sun Oct 1 18:02:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73pbzs/dae_have_a_really_pretty_family/
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My moms side of the family is genetically attractive. They are all blonde and tan and my cousins range from tall, slender with a butt to shorter but still a really pretty face. One of my cousins used to be really big and slimmed up and everyone freaked out about how good she looked and then she gained it all back. Another cousin similar to my age has recently been gaining and I've been loosing. None of them are stick thin like i'm aiming for and they're all girls (sigh). But I'm seriously so excited for thanksgiving because I should be about 5 away from goal and they will be so impressed. I'm pale with red hair and have always been solidly 'normal' (chubby) so I'm taking a sick satisfaction in being the thinnest in my family.
sorry it's kind of a rant too heh, but am I fucked up for wanting to look better than all of them and secretly enjoying when one (there's only 4 main) gets bigger??
[Discussion] Has anyone's parents loved them more once they've lost weight?
/u/whatisthisshow2002 [5'2.5" | CW: 🐳 47kg 🐳 | GW: 40 kg | UGW: Just wanna be loved]
Created: Sun Oct 1 17:45:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73p8ps/has_anyones_parents_loved_them_more_once_theyve/
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Nobody's physically lashed out at me enough to put me in pain since I was 50 kgs. I really want to hit 45 and then maybe they'll stop the emotional abuse. And at 40, I'll be a human. Am I delusional or does this actually happen to some people?
[Discussion] Rules I'm trying to set for myself. Feel free to share your own. Will update...
/u/nothings_serious
Created: Sun Oct 1 17:40:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73p7s3/rules_im_trying_to_set_for_myself_feel_free_to/
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1. NEVER eat in the car. Only water and gum are allowed. Only groceries in the trunk are allowed for the sake of transfer.
2. ALWAYS drink a glass/hearty amount of water once you are hungry. Wait for a moment as there's a chance the feeling with subside.
3. Exercise at some point every day. With a cool little gym attached to the complex, and the park right beside, there is no reason I cannot do this. Preferably early in the morning, and/or right before bed.
4. If cold, drink tea and bundle up. Don't eat to compensate for warmth unless necessary or part of regime.
5. Groceries should consist of vegetables, legumes, specific nuts/seeds, some fruits, generally high fiber foods, and vegan alternatives (eggs are an exception)
6. DO NOT SPEND MONEY ON FOOD. i.e. get boyfriends, or sugar daddies, etc, to get you groceries or money for groceries, get gift cards, or take you out. No physical cash or personal cards other than gift cards used for buying food.
7. Stay under 1200 calories.
8. No fast food restaurants. No reason to enter one. Except using the bathroom for emergency, if nowhere available.
9. Alcohol limit: 3 shots per work day. Must be whiskey, with a non/low caloric chaser.
Will update...
[Rant/Rave] weird motivation i guess
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1.5" | cw 155 | gw 145 | -15]
Created: Sun Oct 1 17:22:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73p48f/weird_motivation_i_guess/
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there's this guy I've known for a long time that's always been flirtatious with me and there's definitely mutual attraction there, but I'm in a relationship and have been longer than I've known this guy. So anyway he's really shallow and we don't talk much when I'm at high weights and when I'm losing again he gets super flirty again. And in a weird way I feel like it's the closest thing to an objective opinion I can get out of anyone regarding my weight.
So I'm not at a low weight at all right now, and he just randomly liked some of my facebook photos from when I was. I saw me at my current weight through his eyes for a minute and I feel so uncomfortable now and I just can't see myself eating much more today. I had finally been not binging *or* restricting for the past few days and was starting to feel kind of normal too. I had just made peace with the fact that I won't be thin at all for a big event I have coming up in a few weeks and now I'm wondering how much I can lose before then. it feels like all the wheels in my head are turning faster and faster again
[Rant/Rave] I'm tired of feeling fat
/u/vomitdogs [5'1 | 105 lbs | 19.9 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 1 16:58:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73ozff/im_tired_of_feeling_fat/
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[removed]
[Help] Outfit ideas to conceal weight loss?
/u/lock-box
Created: Sun Oct 1 16:54:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73oyje/outfit_ideas_to_conceal_weight_loss/
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Please remove if this is breaking any rules.
My family and coworkers (as recently posted/whined about) are noticing my weight loss and I would really like to dress to make my size less noticeable.
At work I have to dress business casual. I live very far from family but will probably be seeing them next week.
Does anyone have any advice? I would really just like to avoid comments and side conversations 😑
[Goal] Staying at Goal weight
/u/PrimaryGreen
Created: Sun Oct 1 16:24:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73os82/staying_at_goal_weight/
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I'm not at my goal weight yet but when the time comes how do i stay there?
[Discussion] low cal lunch and dinner ideas?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 1 16:24:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73os5d/low_cal_lunch_and_dinner_ideas/
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[removed]
[Help] How many calories does purging actually get rid of?
/u/ineedtogetlighter [5'4 | CW: 153 lbs |1.5 lbs | GW: 120 lbs | Male]
Created: Sun Oct 1 16:12:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73oph8/how_many_calories_does_purging_actually_get_rid_of/
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[removed]
[Tip] Tips/Tricks on How to Lose Weight
/u/cynicallilg
Created: Sun Oct 1 16:12:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73opgn/tipstricks_on_how_to_lose_weight/
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[removed]
[Tip] Dissolvable fiber powder + Avocado = Best Laxative Ever (TMI)
/u/starvingarthoe
Created: Sun Oct 1 16:07:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73oogw/dissolvable_fiber_powder_avocado_best_laxative/
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I've been using the fiber powder in my drinks for a few days and today I had some avocado and a half hour later I finally pooped. I swear I feel so much better. I feel like I lost 2 pounds lol. Definitely reccomend if you're backed up and don't have access to or if laxitives stopped working for you
[Help] Bulimia cheeks?
/u/elliebearrrr [F21|5'6"|HW:190 SW:175 CW:148]
Created: Sun Oct 1 15:54:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73olll/bulimia_cheeks/
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My face and neck are so swollen from purging today, how can I get it to go down quickly? Will it go down overnight? I don't want to still look like the friggin moon at school tomorrow
Thanks babies x
[Help] I ate so much today : (
/u/GingerStark [5'9.3" | 20.2 | CW : 138 | GW : 120 | UGW : 110 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 1 15:18:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73odz7/i_ate_so_much_today/
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[removed]
[Help] Pizza Hut
/u/shrinktoavoid [F 5'7|124.2]
Created: Sun Oct 1 15:08:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73obw1/pizza_hut/
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[removed]
[Other] I’m back...
/u/PrincessLex92 [5'3 | SW146 | CW 124ish | UGW100 | 25F]
Created: Sun Oct 1 14:53:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73o8ia/im_back/
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For those of you who don’t know, I was regularly posting here for a few months and about two months ago I decided to try to attempt normalcy(somehow). I’m back and I’m spiraling. It’s so stupid because it was just a comment from an asshole guy who was just trying different insults until he found one that worked. “Did you lose weight or are you still a fat cow?” I am devastated. And I know how ridiculous it is to let words affect me that much. Either way.. hi again. Fml. 😐 hows everyone doing?
[Rant/Rave] why is there so much false nutrition information spread around the ed community?
/u/lowkeydeadinside [5'6" | cw: 125 | ugw: 98 | 17F | 🍑: starvingprincess]
Created: Sun Oct 1 14:26:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73o2h5/why_is_there_so_much_false_nutrition_information/
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i don't mean just on reddit either. i mean among ed communities in general on social media platforms. you would think that among a group of people so obsessed with food and weight, people would actually know about food and weight loss. it's so frustrating to me to see people talking about this stuff and being so wrong. but if you try and correct people about it you get attacked. i don't expect people to be experts, im not an expert either. but you'd think people would know more about weight loss and nutrition among a group of people so obsessed with it. it just frustrates me to no end how inaccurate some people are with calorie counts and exercising and how little people know about macros and that people *actually believe in starvation mode.* i realize that none of us are actually healthy in our habits at all, it just surprises and irritates me how ignorant people in the ed community are about weight loss.
[Discussion] How much weight did you guys lose in your first week of restricting and how many calories were you eating?
/u/ineedtogetlighter [5'4 | CW: 153 lbs |1.5 lbs | GW: 120 lbs | Male]
Created: Sun Oct 1 14:01:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73nwrf/how_much_weight_did_you_guys_lose_in_your_first/
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[removed]
[Other] October header for my weight loss calendar
/u/AngelicZero [5'5.5"| fat | -39 | 115 | 1 Day BF]
Created: Sun Oct 1 12:57:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73niw5/october_header_for_my_weight_loss_calendar/
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https://i.redd.it/gfawfgwzm9pz.jpg
[Other] I have discovered the nectar of life
/u/bananapeppr [5'3" | 108.8 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 1 12:52:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73nhvx/i_have_discovered_the_nectar_of_life/
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https://i.imgur.com/bCDGIyZ.jpg
I've spent so much money on binges in the past 2 months, I want to die.
/u/rainbowxxx1
Created: Sun Oct 1 12:37:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73nef0/ive_spent_so_much_money_on_binges_in_the_past_2/
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[removed]
[Goal] What are your October Goals?
/u/KissMySlitWrist [Moo]
Created: Sun Oct 1 11:56:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73n570/what_are_your_october_goals/
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I'm a sucker for goals and fall so please tell me your goals! I'll post mine after I find my goal notebook.
Collarbone is coming back!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 1 11:05:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73mtzp/collarbone_is_coming_back/
---
https://i.redd.it/qm1jogb339pz.jpg
[Goal] Wow, its only been 3 weeks
/u/percola
Created: Sun Oct 1 10:22:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73mkc9/wow_its_only_been_3_weeks/
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I've been watching my calorie intake and restricting for only three weeks but I look so different than when I started. I have been obese my entire life and have had the misfortune of having obese parents and being surrounded by people unwilling to say that "yes, do you look fat in those jeans because honey, you are fat." So I've always been in this weight loss purgatory. Never having enough motive despite it being an obvious thing to do. But this morning, when I looked in the mirror, I noticed my trunk no longer was rounded. I never realised how small my waist actually was because of how much extra fat I was carrying. My thighs are smaller and I despite having so much more to lose, I couldn't help but smile. I've come a long way and have so much longer to go.
[Discussion] DAE feel like they're not supposed to be here?
/u/spliceme [5'6" | GW: 125 | CW: lol | 25F]
Created: Sun Oct 1 09:44:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73mc0n/dae_feel_like_theyre_not_supposed_to_be_here/
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I've been bulimic for that last 9 years, in different degrees of severity but lately I've had 3 weeks no B/P with a ~healthy~ attitude. I've been eating at a deficit of 500-1000 kcal, going to the gym, being sensible. I've been thinking, I don't belong in this sub. Hey, maybe I've beaten bulimia. Maybe I should stop hanging out here since everyone's intake on the daily thread is soooo much lower than mine? Maybe I am sane enough to join LoseIt.
Then Sunday night comes and I treat myself to a stupidly expensive bottle of my favourite wine to reward myself for all my hard work, thinking I'll still be at a deficit. Albeit, I did throw up the indian food I ate on Friday night, but that doesn't count, right? Just a little blip on my healthy eating radar. Once is OK right? But no. I've just inhaled a couple of bowls of greek yoghurt and granola that before I could even finish chewing I was throwing it up. Fucking granola.
I guess I do still belong after all. Does anyone else feel like this? How do you really know how 'sick' you really are?
[Discussion] What are your "safe" foods/drinks/snacks?
/u/damnitimtoast [5'3"| CW 120lbs | BMI 21.3 | -16 lbs | GW 110 lbs | 23F]
Created: Sun Oct 1 09:34:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73m9zg/what_are_your_safe_foodsdrinkssnacks/
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Honestly just made this post to see if anyone else is as addicted to Sugarfree Red Bull as I am. But in all seriousness, everyone always brings up Coke Zero/Cherry Zero, S/F gum..
[Goal] Binge-free October!!!
/u/FlabbyWhiteThighs [5'4"|118.4 lb|F22]
Created: Sun Oct 1 08:30:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73lx9x/bingefree_october/
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I'm determined. And I also need to get it out of my head that not counting calories for a day = a binge. Sometimes it's okay to cheat a little and say "okay, I've had my treat, and now I'm done." Need to move away from that all-or-nothing attitude that food I don't track is automatically an irredeemable binge of catastrophic proportions.
[Discussion] October 1st, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 1 07:51:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73lq5c/october_1st_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What are you a geek about?
Edit - loving the response on this one! Totally cool to see what everyone’s into and to be so enthused about it 😊 ❤️
[Goal] My boyfriend can finally carry me!
/u/Numbnun
Created: Sun Oct 1 06:46:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73lfhs/my_boyfriend_can_finally_carry_me/
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This was one of my goals while losing weight!
Im so happy because he’s about 20 lbs skinnier than me.
I still have a long way to go but I feel super accomplished!
[Help] How many of you dont eat at all and how may of you eat a little every day?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 1 06:37:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73leb0/how_many_of_you_dont_eat_at_all_and_how_may_of/
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[deleted]
[Other] I have to stop using laxatives...
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~60lbs | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Sun Oct 1 06:22:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73lc3b/i_have_to_stop_using_laxatives/
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I had probably close to 30 laxatives over the course of yesterday... it feels like my intestines are flipping around inside me. If I don't die, I have to stop using laxatives and just go back to solely restriction.
Im saying all of this from the floor my bathroom because for the past 20 minutes Ive been dry heaving into my toilet. Fortunately (or unfortunately) there's nothing in my stomach to throw up.
I feel dizzy. And tired. And sick. And weak.
I can't do this again. I just can't. I'm going to wind up dead and I'm not ready.
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 01, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Oct 1 06:11:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73laje/daily_food_diary_october_01_2017/
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This is a daily food diary thread for October 01, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your favorite recipes!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Oct 1 06:10:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73ladl/sunday_share_your_favorite_recipes/
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Looking for memes? [Right this way~](/r/ProEDmemes)!
[Discussion] Goals for the week!
/u/FastPhoria [5'10 | 122 | 17.5 / 17.0 | GW: 119 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 1 03:52:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73ktm3/goals_for_the_week/
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So some of you know from my excessive posting that I injured myself quite bad last weekend, and today officially marks a whole week of not exercising (minus the five miles of run I got through on Sunday before the car hit me 😒). I haven't even left the house ONCE since I got back from the hospital.
So this week has been really tough for me emotionally, and basically I am just feeling a little down in the dumps today. I thought it might help me to set some goals for the week. And, more than that, to hear what you beautiful people are hoping to achieve this week. Maybe we can motivate each other a little :)
So for me:
1. I have a huge and terrifying three hour viva (oral exam) on Wednesday afternoon, which will determine whether or not I will be funded for the second half of my PhD. If I don't get it then of course I will have to submit for a second masters sharpish, because it is my full-time job and I can't not have a salary for two years! I am SO SCARED, as I have no idea what to expect. I like my examiners, but I know they are very tough. And I also feel like I haven't done enough preparation because of being stuck in bed all week.... oh god, the more I think about it the worse it seems. ANYWAY. I would like to squeeze in three decent days of study beforehand, and relax on Wednesday morning before I leave. Obviously I would also like to pass 😉
2. I have planned, at great length and in tedious detail, a binge evening after my exam. I am going to have Indian takeout and I bought the fudge brownie Ben & Jerry's vegan ice-cream to try. And by "try", I mean "eat the whole tub and then drive fifteen miles to tescos to buy five more". I would like to do this guilt free, as I haven't had a binge in ages and this exam has been looming over me for over six months.
3. On Thursday I would like to get back to proper restriction 800-1000cal per day (I'm tall!!). And just roll with it from there as though Wednesday evening never happened...
4. I have a super to-do list for after Wednesday, including buying some winter clothes, getting a haircut, and arranging some new volunteer work in the evenings.
5. Hopefully start rehabilitating my ankle. Just some gentle walking to begin with, to see how it holds up. I still don't know if it will need surgery :'(
6. Need to buy a new (second-hand!) treadmill, as lord knows I won't be wanting to run outside for a looooooong time...
Okay, that's probably ambitious enough. Really I will be happy to even get through this week without a full-blown mental breakdown, but I am trying to be optimistic!
Okay super long post - please let me know what you are going to be getting up to :))) and good luck to everyone!! <3 <3
[Rant/Rave] I'm drunk validate my honesty or crucify me..
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Oct 1 03:31:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73krew/im_drunk_validate_my_honesty_or_crucify_me/
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On mobile flair as rant rave or something.
Had a stressful day at work and was there late and stayed to talk with one of my preferred coworkers.we decided to get drinks next door cause there is a Mexican cantina type bar next door that usually comps at least some drinks it's dangerous but whatever.
So I hadn't eaten all day. (See previous post about lunch or don't) and we do a shot and I had a whiskey straight up and a diet coke and rum. Three drinks on tired me that hasn't eaten all day or in a few days means no matter my pace I get drunk. So I end up talking and bonding with my coworker who I think is really cool and attractive and I guess I say a lot. They know I'm bulimic and that sometimes I purge at work or have in the past and they don't understand but seem empathetic.
I just wish I had friends. I was invited to a vegan thanksgiving at their house and I'm scared I feel like I'll need to fast and be obviously skinnier by then since it will be a month or so from when I move. I feel so alone i guess I have coworkers that care but I just feel like no one cares.
I brought home the lunch I made and some left overs but will probably throw them out in the morning. I don't want any food in my house. My calories came from all alcohol and I'm probably going to gain because my body is fucked and my mind if just fucked. I don't even know how many calories are in all I drank. A whiskey that could have been like 2 to 3oz. A shot that would be one or 2 or something and a rum and diet coke which would be like maybe 2oz or something of rum or more. I went to the gym yesterday morning and worked a vigorous 8 hour cooking shift on my feet but still feel like my body would gain from anything cause I am physically broken.
I feel so alone right now. Passing out in tears soon.
Willow.
[Discussion] I feel like i would be fine with my weight if i had an attractive face?
/u/fruitandfood [🦊 5'7" | 136.4 | 21.29 | F 🌻]
Created: Sun Oct 1 01:56:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73kgtn/i_feel_like_i_would_be_fine_with_my_weight_if_i/
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My feelings on my face vary sooooo much, but the days i feel best just about my face and i can be like "huh, my arms seem a little fat but whatever cause they arent *so* fat that a good face cant make up for it"
But then ill see my chin/neck (team literally cant look down without covering my neck/chin with my hand!!lmao) and ill be like "no u cant even be a little bit fat with a face like that"
My fav rotation lately is "ur so ugly it doesnt even matter, so get fat" and "ugh atleast have one defining feature and u cant get plastic surgery right now so get skinny"
Anyway sorry for the rambles, who else does the same? Lets connect over this and hopefully laugh at it cause honestly laughing at the constant switches and flips of thinking is the best way ive found 2 cope tbh
(Also discussion flair plz im very sry i cant do it myself right now!)
[Other] DAE have really dry lips?
/u/kittenrunner
Created: Sun Oct 1 01:08:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73kbgf/dae_have_really_dry_lips/
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I've had constant dry, chapped lips the last few days. I'm currently at my lowest weight so I feel it may be ED related. Or maybe I'm dehydrated?
[Intro] [Intro]Forgetremembering and his blog
/u/forgetremembering [6'1"|130lbs|BMI~16|Male]
Created: Sun Oct 1 00:48:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73k8v9/introforgetremembering_and_his_blog/
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My stats are in my signature, but as I'll try to update them occasionally I'll leave them here.
Height 6'1"
CW= 131lbs
BMI= 16.6
I have a blog: loveofsin.blogspot.com
I research some herbal medicine in my spare time. I like to teach things and I'll look at current science research articles and try to explain them to people. I actually got two people to consider fasting today because I showed them some interesting science on fasting. Its one of the random things I look up.
I play a ton of video games.
I'm always looking for a place to belong, but I never feel like I do belong. This morning I volunteered at "out of the darkness 5K" a suicide prevention fundraiser. I walked the 5K because it means a lot to me and did volunteer work that involved set up for the event and take down for the event as well as other duties. I like being useful.
I consider myself Orthorexic. Everything is about control and the betterment of my health.
I'd love friends from my introduction, but I understand that I'm often called an encyclopedia and those aren't very fun to be friends with. Its good to introduce myself regardless.
[Discussion] Do any of you do keto?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: who knows? | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 1 00:13:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73k4oj/do_any_of_you_do_keto/
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Not sure if this is the right place for it but I feel more comfortable talking to the people here than on any other sub... if you do keto, how do you like it? Have you noticed a change from how you were eating before? And do you have favorite keto foods (especially prepackaged ones)? Bloating and water weight have been kicking my ass lately and I hear keto helps with that.
[Discussion] What does "naturally thin" even mean?
/u/raz563 [5"11 | 162lb | 4lbs | Female]
Created: Sun Oct 1 00:04:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73k3hn/what_does_naturally_thin_even_mean/
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I'm probably missing the obvious here, but how are some people defined as "naturally thin"? You see it in the media a lot - models will say "oh I don't have anorexia I'm just naturally skinny".
Isn't it just varying degrees of fast metabolism and/or a lifelong habit of burning more than you consume? I fail to see how some people can be classified as "naturally skinny" and others "not naturally skinny".
And yes I know 99% of celebs are bullshitting that :P
emotional over..cake or cookies...whatever
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 30 23:55:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73k285/emotional_overcake_or_cookieswhatever/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend Tells Me I Look More Like A Boy With Short Hair
/u/Flesh_Daddy_
Created: Sat Sep 30 23:34:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73jzhp/boyfriend_tells_me_i_look_more_like_a_boy_with/
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Can't flair because I'm on mobile but I need to vent. I don't have any girl friends to talk to about this. The last girl friend I had pretty much hates me because I kept canceling plans due to anxiety of being public and also being busy a lot.
So, my boyfriend's uncle does my hair. He owns his own salon and does amazing work. I let him have free range over my hair. So boyfriend's mom and I go together to get our hair done. And he adds beautiful honey blondes and copper into it. And I love it. Then he says he wants to try something different with my hair since the ends are pretty much dead and he's tired of keeping the length to dead hair. So he chops a good 4 inches off of nothing but dead hair and gives it a dramatic lob. It's beautiful and I can't stop smiling. I felt confident all day. Until my boyfriend's dad saw and then my boyfriend.
So I got the following comments in short:
"You look like a boy"
"You look like a lesbian"
"That's a dyke hair cut" (bf's dad knows I HATE that word)
"It's too short. Women should have long hair"
"I hate it"
"you have the 'I wanna speak to your manager' hair"
It really set me off. But I stayed cool. Played along and pretended it was just fun banter. (Boyfriend's dad also called me fat even though I've lost 20lbs and I'm within normal BMI)
So I told bf that I'm too uncomfortable to take my makeup off now because I'll look more like a boy and he agreed that it would. Which really just kinda set me back.
I felt so confident and happy with my new hair and now I feel ugly and all I wanna do is restrict until there's nothing left.
Edit: Thank you all for your kind words. Life really isn't bad with my boyfriend. He can be insensitive at times because he was raised by kind of a crappy dad but he is, otherwise, very good to me. I just needed to vent about how it made me feel. I'm going to talk to him but I think he already knows because he's been telling me how beautiful my hair is now and how I look like Agent Dana Scully from X-Files (he knows that's my goals). How beautiful I am, etc. But I'm still gonna ream him because as everyone said, he let his dad make fun of me and didn't defend me at all. That's not okay.
Thank you guys for your support, I seriously adore each and every one of you!
I decided to post my hair on Fancy Follicles because dammit! It's cute hair!
[Other] My thoughts
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Sat Sep 30 23:32:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73jzca/my_thoughts/
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Started with 'how to not upset my mother so she doesn't beat me' - then I was too old to be beaten.
To 'how to not upset my mother so she doesn't berate me' - then I just shut down emotionally.
To 'getting the love I should have gotten from my parents from a man' - I moved out with a boyfriend.
To 'getting married to the love of my life and planning a wedding' - and I got married.
The same week I got married I started restricting and what was just a normal relationship with food turned into an ED.
[Rant/Rave] Purging Rock Bottom?
/u/noVanGogh
Created: Sat Sep 30 23:31:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73jz54/purging_rock_bottom/
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God, I hope so.
I had a terrible 48 hours of binging and purging after overly ambitious restriction for a few weeks. I ate over 5000 calories and threw up about 5 or 6 times between breakfast and lunch. It was so gross and so terrible.
But the worst part was my brand new nose ring fell out into the toilet after i had purged. And I reached my hand into my own vomit to get it, snot and tears and mascara and acid vomit all over my chin and hands and then fucking toilet water that went through shit and piss.
What the fuck kind of life is this, guys.
[Rant/Rave] Can't restriction insomnia just not?
/u/doctordrive [5'2.5" | 95lbs | 17.5 | -43lbs | F]
Created: Sat Sep 30 23:21:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73jxqo/cant_restriction_insomnia_just_not/
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[removed]
[Discussion] What is one food that will trigger a binge for you/make you break a fast?
/u/Kayla647
Created: Sat Sep 30 23:20:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73jxpf/what_is_one_food_that_will_trigger_a_binge_for/
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My Achilles heel is sweets. Chocolate, candy, pie, cake etc. What makes it even worse is that so many fall food sales are going on and new foods are being added to menus.
I know It's going to be a long month.......
[Discussion] ruining autumn for myself year after year
/u/proudnalgeneowner [5'5 | CW105 | GW95 | 17.68 | 17F]
Created: Sat Sep 30 23:07:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73jvpw/ruining_autumn_for_myself_year_after_year/
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autumn is my favorite season, always has been. it's also when I'm most compelled to lose weight. who doesn't want to be a skinny girl wearing an oversized sweater surrounded by new england foliage? that's basically half the fall-related images on the internet.
but this fucking sucks. I used to be able to enjoy autumn properly, but the past few years it's been way more stressful with my eating disorder.
does anyone else experience a similar pattern? also it would be interesting to see activity statistics for this subreddit by time of year, idk if that's available anywhere
[Rant/Rave] Highs and lows
/u/elliebearrrr [F21|5'6"|HW:190 SW:175 CW:148]
Created: Sat Sep 30 23:05:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73jvi0/highs_and_lows/
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My fun week of Emotional Hell™:
Sunday evening to Wednesday afternoon - completed my longest ever fast
Wednesday evening - almost fainted at school, had to have a first aider called, and didn't even have the energy to walk 20 minutes home so naturally panicked and then binged for three days
Friday - felt so shitty after binging all morning I made myself vomit for the first time ever
Saturday - somehow managed to treat my body sort of well for once and actually felt good about it... ate two meals of nutritious, whole foods and even dragged my lazy arse to the gym!!!!
Sunday morning, 4am
BINGE CITY BITCH BINGE BINGE CITY
Stole food from my housemates leading to another vomit-purge but couldn't get much up because I even suck at ED life
What a fuckin rollercoaster of a week
Hope yours was better than mine
I've been doing a really good job these past 3 days, it seems days that I'm in school tend to make me eat. Hope I can keep it up.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 30 22:58:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73juef/ive_been_doing_a_really_good_job_these_past_3/
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https://i.redd.it/rinp3fceh5pz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Seeing the changes!
/u/whittlebone
Created: Sat Sep 30 22:51:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73jth1/seeing_the_changes/
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50 pounds gone. 30 til goal weight.
Wrist bones are back. Fingers long and elegant again. Collarbones back. Thigh gap is back!
Waiters flirt with me. My friend hugged me the other day and told me I was dainty!
I'm ecstatic but also low key high key still hate myself lol. Can't stop won't stop 🙌🏾
[Rant/Rave] Had my first binge, fuck calories day in over a month
/u/jjfmish [5'6 | GW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Sat Sep 30 22:31:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73jqkb/had_my_first_binge_fuck_calories_day_in_over_a/
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I finally stopped binging a month ago and pretty easily restricted at 1000 calories a day. I lost 8 pounds in 1 month and actually felt ok about myself.
Today was homecoming, so I knew I'd go over my calories in alcohol alone just from all the day drinking. I was still planning on restricting my food intake to basically as little as possible without my friends being suspicious.
That didn't work. I'm too scared to actually calculate what I'm at for today but I think it's over 3000 in food alone. Plus all the alcohol. This is my first binge since I stopped and I feel like I won't be able to go back to restricting again. I'm gonna gain all the weight back and I already feel 10 pounds heavier and my double chin is back and my cheeks are pussy. I'm so scared to weigh myself.
[Tip] BATHS ARE YOUR NEW BEST FRIEND
/u/courtenaymersa95 [5'2| CW: 93.5kg |GW: 65-70kgs |37.2 BMI | -3.5kg | F22]
Created: Sat Sep 30 22:30:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73jqeb/baths_are_your_new_best_friend/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Gaining weight makes me feel dirty
/u/Glazed9000 [5'7' | 125 |]
Created: Sat Sep 30 22:29:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73jqcm/gaining_weight_makes_me_feel_dirty/
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[removed]
[Tip] Brownies for UNDER 100 calories each!
/u/xox_morbid
Created: Sat Sep 30 22:11:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73jnir/brownies_for_under_100_calories_each/
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I saw this recipe online. It claimed to be 37 cal brownies but after doing the calorie count, it was such a lie. This recipe made me 5 brownies (made in muffin tins) and came to 85 cals/each. I’m in Canada though, so you guys can probably find more “calorie-wise” ingredients than I can.
¾ cup nonfat greek yogurt
¼ cup cashew milk
1/3 cup Cocoa powder
½ cup Old fashioned rolled oats
½ cup Sweetener
1 egg
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 pinch salt
Blend in blender. Bake at 400 for 15 minutes
[Discussion] Self-care refeed/nourishment
/u/awayawaydown [c: 17.1 | g: 16.3]
Created: Sat Sep 30 20:51:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73jajk/selfcare_refeednourishment/
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I'm not in a good place right now, and I need my mind sharp and my body strong to tackle my problems for a while. I'd lost 10% of my body weight since early July.
I don't have much appetite at times, but I have to eat to get energy and focus. I'm not excited about the idea of losing my gains (gaining my losses?) and I hope to maintain for a bit if possible.
It is nice to have more energy to take care of myself. I had enough today to finally tackle some chores in my disgusting apartment.
Anyone else ever find yourself doing a period of maintenance/refeeding for similar reasons?
[Discussion] 60lbs 5'8... what has helped you recover?
/u/ativan4u
Created: Sat Sep 30 20:33:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73j7ci/60lbs_58_what_has_helped_you_recover/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Images digitally alerted to make models look thinner must carry a warning that they have been “touched up” under a French law aimed at tackling anorexia
/u/waitupana [14M | 147cm (4'10)]
Created: Sat Sep 30 19:54:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73j0gq/images_digitally_alerted_to_make_models_look/
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https://web.archive.org/web/20171001013854/http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/09/30/photoshopped-images-come-warning-new-french-law/
[Help] is this "enough" exercise... ?
/u/ci-fre
Created: Sat Sep 30 18:38:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73in86/is_this_enough_exercise/
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I don't know if this is the right place to post. I'm really trying to reduce my exercise because it stresses me out and makes me feel too tired... erm... I was wondering, do you guys think that 45min of incline walking three times a week and like, 55 min of yoga/Pilates fusion four times a week is enough exercise to maintain health? I want something super light and not intense but I don't want to feel lazy :(
[Thinspo] [thinspo] Kaia Gerber and her literally perfect figure
/u/missmondemoimeme [5''9' | 126 | ]
Created: Sat Sep 30 18:37:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73in68/thinspo_kaia_gerber_and_her_literally_perfect/
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https://imgur.com/6TyTFTA
[Help] [help] I binged for two months and I have a doctor's appointment in a couple of weeks. Should I cancel? I'm terrified of being weighed.
/u/ChickenMeats
Created: Sat Sep 30 18:07:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73ihiu/help_i_binged_for_two_months_and_i_have_a_doctors/
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A couple of months ago, I got horrible insomnia for a while (woke up every 1 - 3 hours) and couldn't exercise due to over exercising. I've been trying to get better. I threw out my scale, trying be more forgiving of myself, and trying to eat better. I can tell I gained some weight and I'm terrified that when I'm weighed, the number will be something I won't like and I'm going to feel awful about it and start restricting again with an overload of exercise. I feel like I should cancel it since it's only a check up ;_;
[Rant/Rave] My lunch would have been 650 calories at least if I actually ate it..
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sat Sep 30 17:59:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73ig4h/my_lunch_would_have_been_650_calories_at_least_if/
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On mobile flair as rant rave.
At work on my 30 minute break and I always make something that actually sounds good that I would allow myself if I wasn't disordered. I tried to make something semi healthy and by my mental math (and that I have a spreadsheet of the calories in all of our ingredients and some complete dishes or at least stuff i would eat).
It came to 650 calories at the minimum and I don't have the self control to only eat half. I feel like it's be a binge and itd just set me off into a binge when I have actually done well for the past few days. I fasted two days and have been to the gym for at least an hour each day but I just won't allow myself to eat so my lunch consists of walking around in the rain smoking and drinking coffee...i feel so exhausted and deprived and yet I feel like I deserve this punishment for not having any control.
I just wish I could allow myself to eat the food I made. 700 or 800 calories but I don't want to risk it turning into a binge..
Willow.
I spent 2 months binging and I have a doctors appointment. I'm terrified of being weighed. Should I cancel?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 30 17:56:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73ifmq/i_spent_2_months_binging_and_i_have_a_doctors/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Little moments of progress
/u/misakocicka96
Created: Sat Sep 30 17:50:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73ief7/little_moments_of_progress/
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(disclaimer: mods please let me know if this kind of post isn't allowed, I rarely post here)
I've been losing sort of slowly but surely (10 pounds in the last three weeks) and my hipbones are so much more noticeable again :) I'm so happy, I missed them so much! At yoga doing stuff on the mat they hurt, but it's just satisfying to know they stick out more than anything else haha.
Any little things you've noticed lately that makes you feel better?
[Discussion] DAE experience really dark urine even though they only drink water?
/u/fuckingusernamee
Created: Sat Sep 30 17:38:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73ica3/dae_experience_really_dark_urine_even_though_they/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I am so ashamed of myself
/u/Hannah-Girl
Created: Sat Sep 30 17:21:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73i931/i_am_so_ashamed_of_myself/
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The past couple of weeks I have been binging. I haven't gained weight (thank god) and my dad commented about how I look slimmer. My stomach felt a little smaller, so I asked my nine year old brother if it looked like I lost weight. He replied with " no, your stomach is actually way bigger and your face looks a little puffy." I asked him if he was serious, and he said yes. I am currently hiding out in the bathroom trying not to cry. He knows about my ed, and I know it's not his fault but I just feel crappy. Welp at least this gives me a reason to fast 😕🙃
[Rant/Rave] 15 and pregnant (actually not pregnant don't worry)
/u/tarantulahospital [5'7 | -40lb | F]
Created: Sat Sep 30 17:19:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73i8qj/15_and_pregnant_actually_not_pregnant_dont_worry/
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[removed]
Away from home - can’t weigh myself
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 30 16:58:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73i4og/away_from_home_cant_weigh_myself/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] 2,400 Calorie Binge
/u/til_wednesday [5'8" | CW: 110 lbs | GW: 100 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Sep 30 15:04:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73hhtm/2400_calorie_binge/
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I was doing well all week until I went to lunch with my boyfriend.
He knows about my ED and thinks I am too thin and that I need to recover, so every time we are out together, he showers me with comments about how I'm too thin and how he wants me to be "happy and healthy" because I'm "beautiful". In addition, he likes to take me to my favorite fattening restaurants and won't take "I'll have a salad" or "I'm not hungry" for an answer.
Well today, he surprised me with taking me to my favorite Americanized-Chinese restaurant and begs me to eat my order of sweet & sour chicken. Afterwards, he drove me to Cheesecake Factory and asks me to order a slice with him. Me, having no self-control, scarfs down an entire slice of pumpkin cheesecake in his car.
I'm just frustrated that I have no self control or willpower and I give into the temptations. I can't blame him because I know he thinks he's doing what's best for me, and I am responsible for stuffing my face, but I'm not too thin despite his claims. I'm fat. All I see is excess fat on my body and I'm sick of my progress being hindered.
I'm a pretty big/tall gal, so him being a thin, 6', 150 lbs guy makes me feel so... hefty? masculine? All his friends' girlfriends are 5'3 and 105 lbs so it doesn't exactly make me feel attractive in comparison to them.
At least tomorrow is a new day, a new month, to continue restricting. I just don't know how to break this cycle.
[Rant/Rave] Reasons I feel like a horrible person..
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sat Sep 30 13:58:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73h42l/reasons_i_feel_like_a_horrible_person/
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On mobile please flair as rant/rave.
So I went to the gym this morning as I've tried to get back into it even though it makes me anxious and we get to reason one.
I resent people smaller than me who I don't even know. I do lifting and some mixed cardio cause I get bored easily. I swear to the atheist god that this old women is always there when I arrive. Maybe shorter than me. Boney as shit most definitely disordered from bits I'm pulled from her conversations. All she does it walk on the treadmill, maximum incline at like 5mph like I don't know what her deal is but she bugs me and she's triggering to look at. Maybe I'm hypocritical cause I remember being there but this lady has to be in her 50s or 60s and still worries about her weight and buys into the toxic skinny culture.
Admittedly if being average or fat was attractive or more acceptable I would probably have less issues but from trauma, to bullying and identity issues and growing up alone and fat it's hard for me to not hate the idea of myself being overweight or fat.
So I guess I just judge this older lady who for all I know could be struggling as bad as I am if not moreso for most her life but because I feel like my ED is equal parts vanity and low self worth and esteem I resent her for being skinny and disordered and being consistent working herself to what could be an early grave.
I guess I also just hate myself a lot. I hate looking masculine, broad and large it's bugs me a lot and I just wish I could be small and delicate. I measure my worth by my weight, measurements and my clothing sizes even though vanity sizing is a mother fucker.
.
So yeah I don't connect well with people cause I'm bitter and hate myself. I want to be a fucking rail. I want to look as sick as I feel and to pass as androgynous instead of this gross masculine shell..
But I found cool sneakers at the thrift store so I guess I got that going for me.
[Discussion] What kinds of clothes will you wear once you get to your goal weight?
/u/fragilmountain [5'7 | 238 | 36 | GW: 110]
Created: Sat Sep 30 13:50:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73h2gt/what_kinds_of_clothes_will_you_wear_once_you_get/
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I’m going to wear a lot more baggy/too large hoodies.
Probably a lot of knee high socks since they’ll actually look good.
Definitely sweaters!!
Along with skinny jeans that I will actually look skinny in.
[Help] I'm going to my first music festival and have no idea how and what I should eat
/u/Afriendlyhumanbeen [5'6 | CW: 137 | BMI: 22 | GW: 120 | 22F]
Created: Sat Sep 30 13:47:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73h1qt/im_going_to_my_first_music_festival_and_have_no/
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First time poster and long time lurker here, so I made a throwaway for this because I'm trying to be low-key haha. Anyway, I'm going to my first music festival so I don't really know what to expect. I'll be camping with my friends and they've all gone to festivals before.
We won't have access to a fridge and won't really have facilities to cook so I'm not too sure what to eat there. My friends say they're just going to bring plenty of snacks like dried fruit, nuts, and crunchies, but I also know my friends and therefore know that this will include a lot of feel-good food such as cookies, crisps, and candy.
You can see the dilemma I'm having, I'm sure. Not only am I going to be surrounded by food that's going to make me want to binge, but the usual safe, low-calorie foods that I would stick with, like veggies, aren't going to survive if we're going to be camping in the heat.
EDIT: You guys are all so helpful! Thank you so much for all your replies, I'm feeling a lot more confident about this whole thing now. :) I rate I'll make a post when I get back and let you all know if I managed to keep my weight down while I was there xx
I'm going to be there for about 4 days. So if anyone has any tips and tricks as to how I can survive this trip without hating myself after, I'd be super super grateful!
[Discussion] What kinds of clothes will you wear when you get to your goal weight
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 30 13:47:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73h1pc/what_kinds_of_clothes_will_you_wear_when_you_get/
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[deleted]
[Other] Tried the low cal apple crumble recipe someone posted!
/u/mildolconf [5'9" | 134.2 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 30 13:33:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73gytk/tried_the_low_cal_apple_crumble_recipe_someone/
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https://i.redd.it/ogtl3zoko2pz.jpg
[Help] I’m freaking out, hate myself , and hate having a friend that wants to lose weight also
/u/Keiwii [5'2 | GW:110 | UGW:90 | -38lbs]
Created: Sat Sep 30 13:06:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73gt2w/im_freaking_out_hate_myself_and_hate_having_a/
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So In college is going pretty well with restricting , but I met this girl and she’s quite nice but ever since I mentioned I lost 40lbs she’s been talking about her weight with me and she’s 25 less than me and she looks nice , very toned. But She’s not my goal body but she carries her weight well. So she’s always talking to me about how much she wants to lose weight and I mentioned fasting and she wants to fast with me and it’s all triggering and annoying because she’s so much more smaller than me , it’s likes she’s jealous of not my body , but the fact that I lost so much weight . it makes it worse that we’re the same height . I don’t know if she realizes how uncomfortable it makes me talking about how she’s a size 0 and it fits tight on her now and she hates it and she talks about how much she hates her thighs and how she’s obsessed with thighs and she always ask me “so you only lost weight by counting calories ?” And I want to say “yeah and also throwing up and looking in the mirror and not eating because I hate my body “. Then today she told me she had anorexia in the past and it all confused me because she knew nothing about counting calories to lose and said she only used to count calories to maintain when she was 115 . Then she basically shit on my goal weight by saying 100lbs is too skinny and some girls are too skinny and getting below 115 is “unhealthy” I didn’t want to mention to her that I want to be 100lbs because I’m fucking fat and I’d have to lose 50lbs and she’d only have to lose 25. It’s just really making me not want to eat for the whole month of October to weight less than her . It’s like she brags about her weight . It would be fine being friends with her if I hadn’t mentioned my weight loss because that’s all she talks about . I don’t want a friend with an ed , I want to be left alone , I don’t want to be reminded 24/7 how fat I am by her picking at her very muscular frame claiming how fat she is . I want to just wither away and people question it , I don’t want people to know how active and obsessively I count my calories . I try to sound casual about it with her like “yeah I just eat less “ . Today she came in my dorm and weighed herself and even said she only weighs herself like a month . I just really hate being the “fat one” and only think she looks up to me and feel comfortable talking to me about that is because I’ve lost a decent amount of weight . She even commented on how my thighs look smaller today ( which they are , I lost 2 inch from them) and the wholeee time we were together she talked about her hatred for her thighs . I was gonna go to a tailgate today because this club I’m in is having a thing and I’ve been excited about it for a while now , but being around her really makes me want to stay in my dorm and fucking cut myself even though I haven’t self harmed in a month . I just find her actions so rude but she does it so innocently . This week was already shit because I’ve been having serious body image issues and that was just icing on the cake , it’s like I need to get more friends and ditch her ... but she’s a sweet person , but being around her is so mentally straining . Then she’s like “ we should hang out more “ and little did she know she just ruined my whole month . Any advice ? I’m just stuck in my dorm right now crying and I’ve feel like I’m back at 190
[Other] My origin and last night
/u/AngelicZero [5'5.5"| fat | -39 | 115 | 1 Day BF]
Created: Sat Sep 30 13:00:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73grrd/my_origin_and_last_night/
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Issues started when I was 16. I was fat since I was 10 and I was insecure.
The first time I purged was because I couldn't break 180 lbs. I kept eating 1200 calories and working out and was 180 for what felt like 2 months. I was seeing a nutritionist and Idt she knew shit about weight loss. She had no advice when I told her I wasn't losing weight.
So... I purged and my mom confronted me. I started working out 45 minutes before school and 45 after school. I wore a big hoody and carried a 30 pound backpack to burn more during my workout. I'd weigh myself with the backpack!!
Then I didn't eat for 3 days and continued the 90 minute workout a day. So, my mom made me some yummy lunch to make me break (she didn't say anything to me. I think she just saw what I was doing). That 3 day fast let me hit 179. One pound. Lol omg. I gave up on weight loss because of how stressful it was to be obsessed with food and weight.
My mom confronted me and said she saw my tumblr and the girls I was following. For YEARS after I stopped using Tumblr and losing weight she still would bring it up.
I am so sad that I didn't know about wooshes. I could be 115 now if I knew I just had to keep going. I could at least not be so fat.
I should have known I had a tendency to obsess. I would take breaks from working out because I would stress so much about when I was going to workout and why didn't I do it yet?!
I wish I could have a healthy relationship with food.
On another note... last night I was trying so hard to stay at 500 calories. My roommate wasn't home though so there was nothing stopping me. I kept checking the time for the baseball game he was at but ended up breaking and went to Sonic.
The guy forgot to even put freaking mayo on my burger. I ended up purging until I tasted more stomach acid than food. :/
I feel like things are getting worse.
[Rant/Rave] ED makes no sense - plan all week to feel safe eating then feel anxious eating
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Sat Sep 30 12:37:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73gmug/ed_makes_no_sense_plan_all_week_to_feel_safe/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Why do French fries have to smell so good.
/u/sadfatgirl- [5'7 | c29.6 | g18]
Created: Sat Sep 30 12:14:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73ghw8/why_do_french_fries_have_to_smell_so_good/
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So I'm babysitting a friends little brother this weekend. All he eats are fries, chicken tenders, and buckets of ketchup. These my worst trigger foods. My only trigger foods. I can't pass on literally anything else but the smell of these fries is driving me insane. It's a problem. I just hit my first GW of 190 today (will update when I'm off mobile) and I'm binge free for over 20 days, but I have to only bring enough money for just his food every time we go out to get it, because if I had extra I'd spend $40 on fries and chicken and eat until I vomit. Wish me luck tonight and tomorrow please, I really need it.
Edit: made it through yesterday and to keep from bingeing I had a burger patty with a cheese stick. Much better than the 2 large fries, 2 orders of chicken tenders, large Coke and burger I wanted to stuff down my throat. Thanks for the support everyone. Now just to make it through today...
[Rant/Rave] Fuck me tho :/
/u/Aprikoosi_flex [5'9" | cw 127 | gw 117 | ugw 110 | 25F💎]
Created: Sat Sep 30 11:52:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73gd2x/fuck_me_tho/
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On mobile please mark rant
A couple that I’m friends with got engaged. I’m over the moon for them! Except I’ve been with my boyfriend longer and we’ve lived together longer but nothing. I know my boyfriend is depressed, but fuck. Just another insecurity to add to the list of mine.
Also I took laxatives last night and I’m about to poop my pants at work. FIVE MORE HOURS IN MY SHIFT 😭😭😭 today sucks
[Rant/Rave] feeling down:((( (rant :(( )
/u/daisyhands
Created: Sat Sep 30 11:16:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73g5e1/feeling_down_rant/
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i got to one of my goal weights (98lbs) but i feel like my scale is broken and i'm actually 125lbs or something. i can't break 98lbs i've been stuck at it for WEEKS and because of this i've just been binging for about a week and a half and not purging but i haven't gained on the scales, i just look like i've gained. anyways, i just binged on the most food i've binged on in about 3 months and i only purged 1/5 of it because i have a cold and there's lots of phlegm coming up (tmi soz). i'm just feeling so fat and unhappy and even though i am technically underweight, i still look huge :((
[Help] Coworkers talking behind my back?
/u/lock-box
Created: Sat Sep 30 11:10:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73g41u/coworkers_talking_behind_my_back/
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I am a semi-recent college grad working in a job that is a little over my head with the leadership of a hospital. I'm very self conscious of the fact that I am 15-20+ years younger than everyone I work with and that I'm not taken seriously.
I'm going through a rough breakup and juggling work stress, and weight loss as always is a comfort/goal. In the last couple of months I went from BMI 20.5 to <18. I actually am becoming ok with how I look and am coping well otherwise because I have this. I know it isn't healthy, but my work performance is not affected by it; I'm positive of this.
I have been a bit sick and dealing with (what I recently discovered with my doctor was) serotonin syndrome which makes me a little shaky, sometimes it acts up. We're working on managing my medications to fix it. A nosy coworker went over my head and blabbed to my boss about how *worried* she is about me and now my boss has gone and asked other coworkers about it.
I am absolutely terrified this is going to affect my job that I am extremely lucky to have in the first place. I do not want anyone thinking I'm in any way 'unfit' to do my job when I am finally getting some confidence doing it after almost a year. I tried to casually/slyly confront the coworker (who reports to me) who started the chain of gossip and she denied it up and down, but there is no way she didn't say something based on some of the information my boss knows. It's really frustrating because she lied about talking behind my back and then flipped it on me for being untrusting and 'accusing' her.
I tried to go back to the source but she won't help me deal with it. I'd like to not bring my boss into this but I don't know what else I should do or what I should even say. Do I just leave it and let people have their thoughts about me? I feel very violated by this and it sucks. :( I don't think I'm thinking straight.
[Other] what a time to be alive
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 30 11:09:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73g408/what_a_time_to_be_alive/
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https://i.redd.it/c6h37quty1pz.jpg
[Discussion] DAE feel too embarrassed to work out in public?
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 93lbs | BMI 17.0 | 20F]
Created: Sat Sep 30 09:47:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73fmcx/dae_feel_too_embarrassed_to_work_out_in_public/
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I can't go to the gym or run outside because I'm too scared that people will think I look stupid or that I'm too fat.
I wish I could just go to the gym. I feel like that'd be something I'd really like, but instead I jog in place in my room.
[Discussion] Does anyone do alternative fasts? (& app talk)
/u/BlackHairedBloodElf [❤ 5' 2" 💛 CW: 99.8 💚 GW: 99 💙 18.2 💜 F ❤]
Created: Sat Sep 30 08:30:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73f76t/does_anyone_do_alternative_fasts_app_talk/
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I know fasting is usually salt and water, but do any of you do allow a few other things in to keep you going and still count it as a fast? Or have fasting faves like a certain diet soda?
I've had blood sugar issues when I fast so I add in small coffees.
My list:
* Powerade Zero
* Diet Soda
* Light homemade coffee (105cal or below)
* Starbucks Iced Coffee w/Milk (12oz/tall). No frappes, lattes, etc
* Beef broth w/ 1 green onion, chopped. Substitute 1 tbsp white onion if no green left.
List of fasting apps I've heard of:
* Zero Fasting (iPhone only?)
* Vora (Android. Found it on a random search)
[Discussion] September 30th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 30 08:18:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73f4yx/september_30th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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How do you get out of a rut?
[Discussion] Where do you find encouragement?
/u/gayishfish [5'7" | CW: embarrassing | BMI: high | -9 lbs | 23F]
Created: Sat Sep 30 08:04:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73f2cl/where_do_you_find_encouragement/
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Does anybody else rely on this subreddit when they feel a binge coming on or when they need encouragement? I do all the time! Idk what i would do without this community.
What do you guys use beside this subreddit for encouragement or inspiration? I have Peach but i dont have many friends on there. Anyone can add me! My username is the same as my reddit name.
[Other] I didn't know it would be that easy...
/u/SoFluffyle [164 cm| CW: 65.2 kg | BMI: 24.2 | -18.3 kg | F]
Created: Sat Sep 30 07:15:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73eu1x/i_didnt_know_it_would_be_that_easy/
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I started with a weight loss diet and now I'm afraid of food, I'm afraid to eat too much and I feel guilty after every bite I take. I've set my absolute limit to 600 cal/day and I still try to stay below 500 cal/day and god I hate myself if I'm just 30 cal above those 500! But that is beyond the point. What I want to say is: I didn't know it was that easy to get an ED and especially to actively keep it that way. Well since I am chubby as hell no one is questioning me eating less. Nobody is asking me if 400ml soup and 1 glass of juice (130ml) are really enough, they just take it as it is. I don't mind that, like that I can lose my chubby pounds one by one in peace but I never would have guessed that it would be that easy to just not eat without anyone really noticing. Well if course as long as you are not skinny that is.
[Thinspo] Look at that shoulder thinspo. Just look at it,
/u/Manko_Mochi [5'2" | 126 lbs | -9 lbs | GW: 109 lbs]
Created: Sat Sep 30 06:55:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73eqnw/look_at_that_shoulder_thinspo_just_look_at_it/
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https://i.redd.it/kq6nf7igp0pz.jpg
My bulimia fingers. Trying to hack up the damage I did last night 😔
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 30 06:54:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73eqhi/my_bulimia_fingers_trying_to_hack_up_the_damage_i/
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https://imgur.com/oRPwx6N
[Rant/Rave] I actually ate my trigger food in moderation last night and it blew my mind!
/u/annabear [F23 | 5'7" | CW:247.8 | -18.5]
Created: Sat Sep 30 06:40:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73eoid/i_actually_ate_my_trigger_food_in_moderation_last/
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I had a Pizza and Game night last night with my small sorority group and was put in charge of ordering and picking up pizza. I considered for hours just eating with them and grabbing a few slices of pepperoni pizza, but I've been vegan for the last month and it's been wonderful so far. SO instead I got myself a little personal pizza with no cheese or sauce, just a ton of veggies, and brought my own vegan cheese like a dork, and it was SO GOOD! This was such an easy fix to the binge mindset I had all day, it blew my mind how resourceful and reasonable I can be when I'm not thinking about binging.
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! September 30, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Sep 30 06:10:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73ekbq/stupid_questions_saturday_september_30_2017/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for September 30, 2017.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! September 30, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Sep 30 06:09:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73ek4f/daily_food_diary_september_30_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 30, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Thinspo] this is pretty obscure but is hila klein anyone else's thinspo?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 30 05:04:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73ebsf/this_is_pretty_obscure_but_is_hila_klein_anyone/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Who on here does OMAD or 23:1 intermittent fasting??
/u/kzxwy [5' 6" | CW: 129.0 | HW: 145.0 | GW: 115.0 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 30 04:49:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73ea1z/who_on_here_does_omad_or_231_intermittent_fasting/
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Anyone here do OMAD (one meal a day) or 23:1 fasting, with their one meal being in the evening? I have been researching it a lot and it looks like it could be the answer the all my problems.
1. Eating one large meal in the evening would give me that full feeling every night. I could eat whatever I'm craving without the guilt and without feeling deprived.
2. This would be the answer to the issue of me constantly ditching friends because I have no calories left for the day. (Yes, I really do this). I would finally be able to participate in social events involving eating/drinking, by simply making my "eating window" or one meal for the day during that event.
3. Fasting all day would mean my body would adapt and I'd naturally have no appetite during the day. This would help me resist the dreaded donuts/candy/free lunches that are always available at my workplace.
4. Eating "normal" sized dinners every night totally would make the new guy I'm dating think I have a normal relationship with food. It would also mean I could go on dinner dates with him and eat actual yummy meals.
Sounds great right?? My only concerns are... (************TMI warning):
I currently have a very consistent poop schedule. I always start my day with 1 c. plain old fashioned oatmeal followed by 2 c. black coffee. I've done this every day for years. And like clockwork, this breakfast always triggers me to poo. I theb always feel nice and light and "cleaned out" for the rest of the morning. I'm just worried without those carbs and fiber in the oats before my morning coffee I won't be able to go. This would be an issue because I actually get really bad anxiety if I don't poop for more than a day. I start imagining a giant pile of waste rotting in my intestines and I start to feel mentally sick. (Told you this would be TMI). Not only that but it's been drilled in my head for years if I don't eat breakfast my metabolism will slow down, I'll get fat and die.
My second concern is that after this large meal I will bloat like crazy for the rest of the night. My body is used to me feeding it small low cal meals every few hours, and I'm worried one large meal will cause
bloating.
So, who here does OMAD/23:1 fasting? When do you eat? What have your experiences been? Any advice about my above mentioned concerns? I really wanna try this tomorrow and see how it goes but I'd also like it to be sustainable. I also am a little freaked out about skipping my morning breakfast routine for above mentioned reasons.
Love you all, hope you're having a great weekend, and thanks as always for reading xx
[Help] Need advice on how to stop fainting when exercising / generally increase energy levels (first time poster, very nervous)
/u/bow_lolly
Created: Sat Sep 30 04:16:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73e69m/need_advice_on_how_to_stop_fainting_when/
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Hello everyone! I'm a long time lurker, first time poster (extremely nervous). Recently I've managed to maintain myself on ~600 cals a day (mainly vegetarian protein, low fat + super low carb). I'm content with my current diet - it's high enough to curve any binges, but it's low enough to stop the urge to fast. My only problem is I've started a new rigorous routine at the gym (guided by my friend who is a personal trainer) and I have now had two really dizzy spells and one actual faint after we're done. I'm also so, so low in energy and constantly seeing stars all the time, almost like I'm fasting when I'm not! I don't want him, or anyone else, to suspect anything because I'll be forced to up my cals again. If anyone finds out I've gone this low again they'll be so pissed. I don't know what to do. I'm having an almond milk protein shake (130 cals!!) before I go, lots of water... I can't have any sugar whatsoever because it's my trigger food (hence the low-carb-ness) and also makes me anxious as hell, so I don't know what to do. Any help would be so, so appreciated. You're all lovely.
(Sorry if this isn't the type of post I'm meant to do)
[Tip] Weight loss tip of the day
/u/amoonshapedpool-
Created: Sat Sep 30 03:06:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73dyg1/weight_loss_tip_of_the_day/
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https://i.redd.it/5psnxtenkzoz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Staring at a picture I actually like of my body
/u/lovelysilliness
Created: Sat Sep 30 02:34:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73dusf/staring_at_a_picture_i_actually_like_of_my_body/
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I took a picture today in an outfit I bought today for my friends wedding and I literally cannot stop staring at it. I look so thin and I actually really like how my body looks in the picture, and how good the clothes look on me. Also it helps that I'm kinda obsessed with the shoes and dress I got. And I haven't ever really had as slim fitting of a dress as that. Even at my lowest weight in high school. I just really wanted to tell someone how great I feel about that picture who would really get it.
[Help] I'm confused
/u/lumosxnox [5'2, 122lbs, 22.31 BMI, GW 105lbs]
Created: Sat Sep 30 02:31:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73dukm/im_confused/
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How do I know what my maintenance is??? My TDEE says 1,729 but my BMR is 1,365. I feel like I trust BMR more because I don't like putting my vague amount of exercise (walking around campus) into account because it doesn't burn that much. My daily average of steps is 3,252 and I climb two flights of stairs to get to my dorm room a few times a day, I don't feel like it's enough to count. When I go to the gym I count the calories I burn but I don't feel like it matters. I'm scared that if I listen to TDEE instead of BMR that I'll gain. Pls help friends 😥
Also: got told that I'm "probably deformed & fat as fuck" and that I'm "hideous" on my other account tonight because I defended my boyfriend when someone said he looked like shit 😂🙄
[Tip] No one will remember what you looked like
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Sat Sep 30 02:16:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73dsx6/no_one_will_remember_what_you_looked_like/
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I was having a conversation with my husband and his friends and they were discussing a mutual friend that used to be fat and is now thin. They discussed how they forget he used to be fat.
One day, when you hit your goal weight, no one will remember you used to be anything but slim and frail and a goddess.
[Discussion] What a good amount of weight loss?
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Sat Sep 30 02:11:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73ds99/what_a_good_amount_of_weight_loss/
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[removed]
[Discussion] I don't think I have any true "fear foods"....?
/u/vkomova [5'11 | ugh | ugh | ugh | F]
Created: Sat Sep 30 02:07:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73drrw/i_dont_think_i_have_any_true_fear_foods/
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I'll eat basically anything, just small quantities of heavier things. Or if I do let myself eat something calorie-dense, I won't eat anything else to compensate for it. Does that count as a """fear food""" or is that just plain restricting? I'll eat pasta, potatoes, ice cream, candy, pizza, etc. with no problem, or at least the problem isn't with the food itself, just my overall food intake still being low. I can't think of any foods that specifically make me feel anxious or anything.
Although tbh I do try to avoid pizza just because I know I can never just stop at one slice, so maybe that is my only "fear food"
(This is why I've had an ED for years and I've been barely underweight at my lowest points LMAO)
[Rant/Rave] Darn insomnia - lovely ED anxiety
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 30 01:40:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73dooe/darn_insomnia_lovely_ed_anxiety/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] My BMI is 19.5 so i *should* be skinny right?
/u/CassTheUltimateBA [5'10 | 135.9 | 19.5 | 85 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 30 01:01:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73dk84/my_bmi_is_195_so_i_should_be_skinny_right/
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I fucking hate it. Im in the teens. Why dont i feel good. Will i ever feel good? I felt so happy at 21 because i always read that 21 bmi is "ideal". Well. Why the FUCK am i not happy.
I can only lose 6 more until im underweight. And once im underweight i cant say im "healthy" because im at a "healthy weight". I dont even fucking see how me eating less than 800cals a day seems "healthy" to people because im not clinically underweight, but my cousin whose 117lbs at fucking 5'10 is "unhealthy". BUT SHE FUCKING EATS EVERY THING. We work at the same place- me a cook and her a waitresses. So i make her food. I KNOW WHAT SHE EATS AND SHE DOESNT C/S. SHE DOESNT B/P. AND SHE DRINKS A 6 PACK A NIGHT I DONT FUCKING UNDERSTAND. SHE DOESNT EVEN TRY TO BE UNDERWEIGHT IT. JUST. FUCKING. HAPPENS.
GOD. I wish i could just be HAPPY with myself. I want to be able to weigh myself and not cry if ive gained more than .2lbs than the previous day. Or over .5bs if i weigh more at night. If i weigh over a pound more at night than the morning i actually cry. Im not being figurative. I. Fuckung. Cry. I tear up and tell myself it doesnt bother us that much. Everything is fine. Its okay....ITS NOT FUCKING OKAY WE GAINED WEIGHT. EVASIVE. FUCKING. MANEUVERS.
MOTIVATION WHEN FEELING LIKE A BINGE!!
/u/courtenaymersa95 [5'2| CW: 93.5kg |GW: 65-70kgs |37.2 BMI | -3.5kg | F22]
Created: Sat Sep 30 00:42:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73di1c/motivation_when_feeling_like_a_binge/
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[removed]
[Help] Most accurate online calculator
/u/amysweetpea [5'4 | SW191 | CW152 | GW95.5 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 30 00:22:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73dflj/most_accurate_online_calculator/
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Title explains a lot really, what is the most accurate daily calorie expenditure calculator online? I've used a few and the differences are about 500, that's a lb a week! I need to know so I can predict and maintain when I'm low.
S/o randomly isn't working this weekend. Nervous about meal times.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 29 23:49:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73dbkd/so_randomly_isnt_working_this_weekend_nervous/
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[removed]
Is there a way to outwardly maintain health while restricting?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 29 23:39:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73da95/is_there_a_way_to_outwardly_maintain_health_while/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] October Goals
/u/IWillNotHealYou [5'10"|-104.4|CW:274.4|HW:378.8|F]
Created: Fri Sep 29 22:40:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73d2bp/october_goals/
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September actually went pretty okay for me, I hope it's been going good for you guys! Do you have any goals you want to complete this October?
[Discussion] What's more distressing to you: fat/weight or bone structure?
/u/kittenrunner
Created: Fri Sep 29 21:52:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73cv19/whats_more_distressing_to_you_fatweight_or_bone/
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As my weight creeps down and down, I'm realizing that fat isn't my issue; it's my bones. I hate my bone structure, especially my wide hips and how boney I am everywhere. I just don't look right at all, it's so depressing.
[Other] my ex noticed my weight loss today!!
/u/PM-ME-YOUR-AHEGAO [5'3 | UGW: 108 ]
Created: Fri Sep 29 21:49:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73cupj/my_ex_noticed_my_weight_loss_today/
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[removed]
[Intro] [Intro] - so easy to step back into my old habits.
/u/Goodmorningfatty [5'4" | CW: 120 | BMI: too big | WL: 25 | Fluid]
Created: Fri Sep 29 21:39:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73csz3/intro_so_easy_to_step_back_into_my_old_habits/
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It's been 4 months since I've been active here. I was in recoverey, but I feel like I've just been on a massive unhealthy binge the entire time. I looked in the mirror last night and was horrified. I had a panic attack, went home after work and lost my shit to myself. I finally stepped on a scale and while it's not as bad as I feared, it's still bad enough. It's time to come back. So I guess I'm re-introducing myself. Today it was so easy to step back into old habits, it's like I never left. It feels like such a relief to be in control again.
[Discussion] Let's play a game! 'I want to be so thin that...
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Fri Sep 29 21:17:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73cplm/lets_play_a_game_i_want_to_be_so_thin_that/
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...strangers stop and help me when I'm carrying things because I look so frail'
[Goal] My goal for the rest of the year is to lose 13 pounds
/u/Bleepbloopbroke
Created: Fri Sep 29 20:56:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73cm89/my_goal_for_the_rest_of_the_year_is_to_lose_13/
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That equals 1 pound per week. I've been able to lose more than that in a week but my problem is consistency. Once I get down to about 115 I have trouble losing any more weight even if I never eat above my BMR and exercise regularly (usually running). Are there any foods/habits that might cause me to maintain my weight even when restricting? Help a sister out plz
On mobile, please flair help
[Rant/Rave] buying new pants = triggering myself into higher restriction ✌️
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18 | 22F]
Created: Fri Sep 29 20:53:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73clre/buying_new_pants_triggering_myself_into_higher/
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[removed]
What are your daily routine to maintain your ED
/u/courtenaymersa95 [5'2| CW: 93.5kg |GW: 65-70kgs |37.2 BMI | -3.5kg | F22]
Created: Fri Sep 29 19:59:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73ccn5/what_are_your_daily_routine_to_maintain_your_ed/
---
[removed]
[Help] My hair is falling out in clumps
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 29 18:56:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73c1hf/my_hair_is_falling_out_in_clumps/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I found a VERY old picture of me... and I wasn't fat, I was skinny!?
/u/KissMySlitWrist [Moo]
Created: Fri Sep 29 18:29:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73bwn4/i_found_a_very_old_picture_of_me_and_i_wasnt_fat/
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OK so I am like 6 in the picture but I thought I have always been fat and I've never seen a photo of me where I am not fat... Knowing I haven't always been fat is somehow really inspiring to me? Like before I told myself I have always been fat so I will always be fat but now I know that isn't true.
I remember the day it was taken... and even then I thought I was fat. That also tells me my BDD run deeper than I thought too. I mean you can see my ribs in this picture there's no way anyone would think I was fat.
[Rant/Rave] My shit weekend is a blessing in disguise
/u/midwesthoe- [5'1| 105 | 19.8 |20F|]
Created: Fri Sep 29 18:00:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73br7c/my_shit_weekend_is_a_blessing_in_disguise/
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[removed]
[Discussion] [Discussion] What's your favorite low calorie drink?
/u/thisisreal25
Created: Fri Sep 29 17:36:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73bmh2/discussion_whats_your_favorite_low_calorie_drink/
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I love, love, *love* Diet A&W! It's so sweet and creamy without leaving a nasty aftertaste.
Coke Zero is my second love. It tastes just like Coke without being gross like Diet Coke.
What are your favorite low calorie drinks?
[Tip] ginger ale: a blessing
/u/frikey [5'5.25" | 107 | 18.01 | -20]
Created: Fri Sep 29 17:29:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73bl7f/ginger_ale_a_blessing/
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(no idea if this is more of a tip or a rave) ok so this is almost definitely old news but I just found out the one and only way for me to take all my vitamins at once without having to eat OR feel super sick afterwards and that is diet ginger ale. I used to always drink regular ginger ale to help with nausea and it took me so long to put two and two together but I am absolutely delighted right now
[Help] Please help, I've binged for the past 3 days and I still want more :(
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 29 17:04:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73bg5r/please_help_ive_binged_for_the_past_3_days_and_i/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] "You've got saddle bag thighs"
/u/IDidNotTakeTheBrows
Created: Fri Sep 29 17:04:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73bg5f/youve_got_saddle_bag_thighs/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] New food is my ultimate weakness
/u/nycthrowaway51 [5' 3" | CW: 95.8 | BMI: 17.0 | M]
Created: Fri Sep 29 16:49:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73bd6a/new_food_is_my_ultimate_weakness/
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I don't know if anyone else is like this, but new food (food that I haven't tasted before) is horrible for me. Whenever my parents buy a new food, I get such a strong urge to eat it. I feel like I *have* to know how it tastes or else I might never get to taste it again, even if it's something really cheap and crappy. I tell myself I'll just eat that and nothing else, but I usually just end up binging :/
[Thinspo] Fall Thinspo Collage
/u/physics_chick
Created: Fri Sep 29 16:48:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73bcxt/fall_thinspo_collage/
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https://i.redd.it/ywx0abiaiwoz.jpg
[Goal] Four days into a fast. Went to a dinner party. Didn't eat a damn thing.
/u/_pancaste_ [5'6 | 127 | -21]
Created: Fri Sep 29 16:04:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73b3vj/four_days_into_a_fast_went_to_a_dinner_party/
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Pretty much what the title says. I've been water fasting since Monday - haven't touched a morsel of food. I was planning on breaking my fast tonight at a friend's birthday party.
But when I sat down at the table, I realised something: I'm not hungry. I'm tired, sure. I'm exhausted. Just standing up makes me feel lightheaded. But I'm not *hungry.*
So I didn't eat. The meal was served family style, so loads of big plates placed in the centre of the table. I skipped the charcuterie appetiser course ("I had a huge lunch!"), and when the mains came out I plopped some lasagna on my plate and pushed it around.
Oh god, it was so hard. Everyone around me was moaning about how delicious the food was - roast chicken, and potatoes, and little goat's cheese tarts. Then for dessert, cupcakes in a million different flavours, all home baked with buttercream frosting. It was so, so, so hard. I almost cried.
But I did it. I came so fucking close to eating - they put a tray of potato gratin right in front of me! - but I didn't. I just kept telling myself, "It's worth it to wake up skinnier in the morning."
Now I'm very, very tired. But I'm strong. I've never felt more invincible.
[Rant/Rave] I'm fasting until I hit my GW...
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~60lbs | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Fri Sep 29 15:56:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73b20y/im_fasting_until_i_hit_my_gw/
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Not my UGW but I want to be at my GW of 135 before my 21st birthday... I have like... half a month to lose 5 pounds and the fucking scale won't budge. I'm fasting. Broth, soda, water, and diet juice totaling under 100 calories everyday until Im at 135... I can't take it. 140 is too much Ive been crying for the past hour.
EDIT: i just got back on the scale... 142.6 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 how does one gain 2.6 lbs when they havent eaten over 100 calories in the past two days combine. Pardon me while I go die.
[Rant/Rave] I'm struggling
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 29 15:49:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73b0hl/im_struggling/
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[deleted]
[Other] Does anyone else get super uncomfortable when people make comments about your body like this?
/u/achildrenofbodomfan
Created: Fri Sep 29 15:22:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73aujj/does_anyone_else_get_super_uncomfortable_when/
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https://i.redd.it/0vjw9jfz2woz.jpg
[Goal] Septembers calorie total. 10 lbs down. Keeping a journal really helps with accountability for me!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 29 15:19:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73au2c/septembers_calorie_total_10_lbs_down_keeping_a/
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https://i.redd.it/ad5cgxvl2woz.jpg
[Help] How do you all cope emotionally with severe PMS bloating?
/u/queefwomb
Created: Fri Sep 29 15:18:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73atu2/how_do_you_all_cope_emotionally_with_severe_pms/
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I feel completely helpless to a downward spiral. My stomach becomes huge and hard and my arms and face become puffy. I feel like I can not handle it emotionally at all. It destroys me and consistently ruins any healing progress I've made throughout the month.
Any tips on how you cope would be greatly appreciated :)
[Rant/Rave] 4500 calorie binge
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 100 | 16.84| GW 94 | F 22]
Created: Fri Sep 29 13:22:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73a2za/4500_calorie_binge/
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[removed]
[Help] Cream of Crab Calorie Conspiracy
/u/OldCrowFreakShow [5'7" | 118 | GW: 113]
Created: Fri Sep 29 13:09:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73a09n/cream_of_crab_calorie_conspiracy/
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First paragraph is comfort rambling, skip to second for the actual point riddled with more rambling.
**EDIT**: Crap this is so long, I'm sorry. ;;
I've had strep for three days now but waited so long to see a Dr. that I've barely been able to swallow for the past two (who's complaining though right?) and have been subsisting on small amounts of hot tea, broth, and protein shakes. I've been moderately(?) restricting for a few weeks but this is much lower than I've gone and making the fever/aching worse than need be. I resorted to heating up spoonfuls of my husband's full fat cream cheese several times a day attempting to stay in motion but have been taking it overboard. Because the 4+ year old bouillon cubes I was using were so high in sodium, very stale, and frankly disgusting, I picked up some beef bone broth, reduced sodium chicken base, and the spinach + 0% plain greek yogurt I've been out of for days to make 150 cal "power smoothies." I also grabbed a single serve cream of crab soup, which is tragically high fat and low protein, but figured it would be a good comfort food to keep morale high despite being nutritionally empty.
The box says 290 calories for 10z, it wasn't as flavorful or meaty as I expected so I broke down and added a can of shredded crab meat for an additional 80. 370 isn't much considering I slept through breakfast, am still on track, and probably wouldn't even be passing 600 today anyway. Then I got a call from husband saying he wanted to travel to MIL's this evening for his birthday and would graciously share his Tylenol 3's, so I added my calories to see how much cake I could finagle. Scanned the barcode with my Fitbit app and it's showing 390! Myfitness pal, Fooducate, and a few other sources I can't specifically remember are confirming that. The only one I've seen so far that matched the box at 290 is Inlivo.
I shouldn't be this stressed out about it but an extra 100 calories is a lot when your TDEE is only 1300 and you want to restrict enough to hit GW quickly. I'm already behind schedule after binge drinking (and somewhat binge eating) several days last week. **My question is** what would you guys do? Would you just count the 390 to be safe? Should I trust the box and one other source in spite of the majority claiming otherwise? Should have logged it before eating as usual, maybe I would not have added the extra meat I already struggled over anyway. None of the rest of this post pertains to the question, skip if you're not the type who enjoys reading other people's brain vomit over an espresso.
My husband isn't demanding or even asking me to go in this condition, but considering I will have been on antibiotics for 24hr therefore not contagious plus the fact that he does SO MUCH for me on a regular basis, I fully intend to go without whining. We always end up staying for well over six hours and I'm not sure I can resist soaking a piece of cake (or two?!) in a dish of hot milk for that long; delicious comfort food in a place I'm not entirely comfortable while also in physical discomfort. Even if I refused the cake, both sides of his family know me affectionately as the "Dessert Queen" and it's ALWAYS a point of conversation. I've only passed up dessert once and thought I would never hear the end of it, so here's hoping I can settle for a tiny piece of cake which would likely keep them quiet without giving me too much to fret over.
Bonus Complaint - *Are you aware of how many calories are in an ounce of irish cream? I sure as hell wasn't! Had FOUR overpoured Jack Knifes after drinking a pint of the Whiskey itself. TIL when you're already throwing your diet out the window for a "special occasion," don't make it worse. I had enough restraint to avoid craft beer in lieu of straight liquor for the sake of not completely ravaging my counts, but ignoring the voice of reason trying to convince me liqueur would obviously be an even worse choice I just ran with it anyway.*
[Rant/Rave] What do you get when you have two days of binge to atone for, you were misgendered all day at work today and youre moving into your new flat tomorrow with 8 people you havent met yet
/u/Rhyanon [Who needs reasons when you have an ED?]
Created: Fri Sep 29 12:59:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/739xsc/what_do_you_get_when_you_have_two_days_of_binge/
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A game of "lets see how long I can fast for without dying so I don't have to eat in front of these people ever!"
At least if I'm not skinny right now, my eating habits can appear to be that way, and honestly I've got the body fat stores to go for a good while. Honestly I'd love to be one of those crazy motherfuckers on r/fasting who go for like 30 days.
Tbh tho i hope they don't notice, or if they do they don't decide to give me the spanish inquisition because I swear to god I cannot be fucked with that. I almost hope that they're misgender me, because that fuels the fasting desires. Also got a date on Thursday, I can at least be as skinny as possible for that too. Sorry, thought dump
[Rant/Rave] S/o rant.. "This is silly"
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 19bmi | -140 | 30F | AU]
Created: Fri Sep 29 12:52:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/739w33/so_rant_this_is_silly/
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My husband flits between being in serious sad mode about this and angry or ignoring it. At some point he decided I wasn't allowed to "fast" to which I which I want to slap the body autonomy card in his face but he's.. emotionally abusive a lot.
This morning he told he to just stop and all I need to do is "eat healthy" and get better exercise
"This is just getting silly." He says like 4 times.
And that he wants to go to my therapist with mr one day. I almost want to say FINE!!!! She can tell you this isn't about food!!!!
Anyway this whole ordeal makes restrict more.
I wish he understood. Or at least I wish he'd listen without flipping and getting abusive OR even better just leave me alone about it.
Love you all
Sorry if there's typos and shit it's 5am and I haven't slept
[Other] NYC friends?
/u/slothLarryDavid [5'2 | CW: 118 | GW: 95 | -37lbs | 25F]
Created: Fri Sep 29 12:47:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/739uwf/nyc_friends/
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hi everyone!
i'm not sure if this post is allowed, so mods feel free to delete if necessary.
i moved to nyc (brooklyn) a little less than a year ago and haven't really made many friends, mostly because i'm terrified of the social food culture surrounding new friendships lol. i've been posting in this sub on and off for a few months now and you all have given me such strength and motivation, and it constantly makes me feel like i just wish i had even ONE friend in real life that *gets it*. so maybe this is pathetic or something but if anyone wants to maybe frantically pace through soho on a saturday night, or drink a tequila and seltzer with me occasionally, i'd really really love that :)
[Other] Weird moment when grabbing at fat today
/u/sprakling_water
Created: Fri Sep 29 12:26:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/739pyi/weird_moment_when_grabbing_at_fat_today/
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So today I was absent mindedly standing in the kitchen and grabbing at the rolls of fat on my stomach when I realised that the rolls I was holding in my hands in disgust were actually just the fabric from my jumper bunched together. I had to sit down after that one. Has anyone else ever had mad moments like this?
[Rant/Rave] Do You Need Intermittent Fasting in Modern Life
/u/siim_land
Created: Fri Sep 29 12:21:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/739owi/do_you_need_intermittent_fasting_in_modern_life/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bT9nyH4mAko
[Discussion] Nicorete gum?
/u/timetofadeaway [5'2 | CW scaredlikeamouse | LW 91 | GW1 110 | UGW 90 | F21]
Created: Fri Sep 29 11:53:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/739ic0/nicorete_gum/
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[removed]
[Help] Q for my fellow bony-assed twigs
/u/flatout_ [5'4 | 105 | 18.0 | GW 100 | 24F]
Created: Fri Sep 29 11:30:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/739cqz/q_for_my_fellow_bonyassed_twigs/
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Do any of you have rough patches on your ass, maybe around the areas that your pelvic bones press into a chair when you're sitting?? I've always had small ones, but they're growing now and almost developing into callouses. I moisturize, do squats and lunges, and try to sit as little as possible, but it doesn't seem to be helping.
It doesn't bother me hugely, as I don't particularly want anyone to see me naked anyway (love that underweight libido), but I'd appreciate any tips!!
[Discussion] DAE feel like no matter what they do, they never lose?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: who knows? | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 29 11:14:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7398z2/dae_feel_like_no_matter_what_they_do_they_never/
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I keep my calories under 500 a day and only eat things that are prepackaged with a calorie value, I burn 700-800 calories working out and running around per day, I take Orlistat and Bronkaid to give that little extra push, and I've been doing this for years, but my scale never goes below 107. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong. And I see other people around me drinking giant coffees and eating pastries and not gaining anything and that just seems so foreign to me.
Does this happen to anyone else/do any of you guys feel this frustration? I feel so alone in this struggle and like I don't have a *real* ED because I never get any thinner.
[Rant/Rave] I wanted to binge this morning.
/u/Funktionierende [25F | 5'2" | CW131.2lbs | SW185lbs | GW100lbs | BMI24]
Created: Fri Sep 29 11:09:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7397w2/i_wanted_to_binge_this_morning/
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I was sitting there, staring at a jar of peanut butter that I put in the office fridge way back when, contemplating just grabbing a spoon and digging in. I decided to go out for a smoke to delay the binge by a few minutes.
See, I just switched teams at work because this team was more in need of my particular skillset. My former team was really active and health-centric, this team is pretty food-obsessed. They cook in the office kitchen and make the place smell delicious, they are constantly eating and asking why I'm not joining them for meals.
Then Ror walked in. I've worked with him before; I've worked for him before. He's not actually in our department anymore but now that I've switched teams, I'll be working the same days as him and we will cross paths often. He lit up when he saw me - we haven't both been onsite at the same time in months. But he saw me there in the smoke pit, and came right over, asked if I was going to be on the same shift as him now, and looked so happy when I said yes. And the desire to binge faded away. He's one of those people that you just feel good around. He has this contagious laugh, sweet disposition, and a smile that's more nutritious than any salad. When we team up on a project, we really get things done. We can joke and talk about absolutely anything without it feeling weird. He's got an energy and drive to him that rubs off on everyone around him.
We ran a mission together this morning, finding some equipment and preparing an unusual job. I didn't even notice until 11am when I got back to my office that I was still running on the 20cal Amino drink I had first thing this morning.
Who needs calories when you've got all these good vibes?
[Rant/Rave] I really don’t get why people think they can tell me I’m “too skinny” like please go fuck yourself
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 29 11:05:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7396oe/i_really_dont_get_why_people_think_they_can_tell/
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https://i.redd.it/v69gx766tuoz.jpg
[Discussion] Self destruct protocol: independent living for the first time. Advice?
/u/tobedishonest
Created: Fri Sep 29 10:40:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7390tp/self_destruct_protocol_independent_living_for_the/
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I'm moving out of my parents' house for the first time ever this weekend. I'm 18 years old, I'm 5'7" and 150lbs, and I'm fat. Trapped in a binge cycle - I'm sure a lot of you can relate. Thankfully the uni I'm moving to has a free gym on-site and lots of sports clubs but *god* I am so disappointed with myself that I didn't manage to hit my goal over the summer. I'm definitely in a depressive rut at the moment, hoping for things to change, and trying to stabilise my blood sugar over the next few days to make sure I can begin restriction from day 1 and build good habits. At the moment I'm hoping to have hit 120 by Christmas.
I'm looking for tips on how to minimise self destructive behaviour and ensure my study is affected to a minimum. If I eat anything, I eat everything; I eat either 500 or 5000 calories a day. I intend to set myself a weekly calorie allowance to avoid that whole "over the limit, might as well binge" fallacy, and try to keep food out of my dorm room, etc. A lot of you guys, gals and nb folk have been through this experience before me, and I really value your input - your dos and don'ts. Please share your experiences? I'm so stressed right now and afraid I'm not gonna be able to enjoy my freshman experience due to being so fat, all the girls at the uni I am going to are delicate and tiny and beautiful and I am awkward and lumbering. The only thing getting me through is the dream of returning in January as an unrecognisably thin and perfect girl. ❤️
Also, a lot of the food rec's here were unfortunately never available in my country but now I'm moving to a country where they may be, so does anyone have any advice re: UK safe foods? In the best of my restriction periods I have existed solely on Coke Zero, iceberg lettuce and 10 cal jellies so I'd love to find other foods like that I could turn to in staving off binges. Apparently there's a shop nearby with shirataki noodles, which were never available in my country! Any other recs?
[Rant/Rave] my cat punished me for eating.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 29 10:36:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/738zxz/my_cat_punished_me_for_eating/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I finally told someone
/u/sicksadcook [162| 48.9 |19.03 | GW47 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 29 09:40:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/738m72/i_finally_told_someone/
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Yes. The thing is that I met someone in the new city I'm living in. It was meant to be a sex thing only and turned out to be more very quickly. Maybe too quickly... I'm very freedom loving and he knows that. But somehow I feel comfortable around him.
So I told him. And he just reacted brilliantly.
At the moment I managed to stop purging but still get into binges out of habit and quite a high amount of stress.
Obviously I took weight, but I luckily have a good metabolism and have always been a good eater in my past, so it's not yet dangerously high. Still, I feel embarassed. I will go back to my country to visit in two weeks and need to make business... I know, that my looks always helped, so I know that I need to get rid of the weight until then.
Anyways, I decided to tell him, as I want to start my new life without lies, without pressure...
go towards a healthier me.
He didn't blame me, didn't even say I needed to change or offered me help. He just said, that I probably loved eating so much, that I had tried to make space to eat some more. He is a good boy. I explained him, why I hated this so much. That I was a generally very strong character, that illnesses couldn't be a part of who I am. That I was a cook and an activist fighting against waste and for sustainability... and he just listened. And even managed to make the whole thing sound less terrible, he tried to explain myself to me in a nice way.
And all this time I had kept this secret, being sure I would never tell... or if I would, that the impact would be much bigger. That it would turn into a discussion and I would be pittied and offered help. But nothing of this happened and I can now talk about it freely. I obviously still have this problem, but I feel better about it. I'm not alone anymore.
I have someone by my side, who can keep me from bingeing.
I might always get back into restrictive cycles, but if I can get out off the b/p, my life will improve a lot.
He doesn't really seem to realise this, but this is maybe why he helped me a lot more than he can imagine.
[Rant/Rave] Validation I'm not a whale
/u/coffeexsmokes [5'2" | 100 | -50 | 21F]
Created: Fri Sep 29 09:37:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/738ln8/validation_im_not_a_whale/
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I'm back in the recovery train and have managed to maintain at 105lbs.
The issue is I have that weird thing going in where the weight just sits on my abdomen and it hasn't redistributed. I really want validation that being at 105lbs isn't actually that high a weight but I obviously can't go around asking people if they think I'm still skinny. It's so frustrating that I can't see for myself that I'm still small despite having gained weight and I'm going crazy thinking that I'm now suddenly unattractive.
On the plus side, my fwb did compliment my thighs the other day, which are the only part of my body I'm satisfied with, despite them technically being large in proportion.
Edit: on mobile and forgot to flair as rant
[Discussion] I feel like my ED is fake because when I'm stressed I binge eat?
/u/dying222
Created: Fri Sep 29 09:11:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/738fi5/i_feel_like_my_ed_is_fake_because_when_im/
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Restriction is usually something that makes me happy. I don't punish myself by not eating. When I'm stressed or depressed I binge eat and gain weight. When I start to feel better I lose it all again
[Goal] I avoided a binge!
/u/little-paws
Created: Fri Sep 29 08:34:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7386cx/i_avoided_a_binge/
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I've been wanting to binge all day today, but i just went to the supermarket and bought SMALL individual packets of two things that I wanted, so in I'll come in under my calorie goal today!
Just had to share, I'm feeling so happy. For anyone else who feels like binging - you can avoid it!
[Other] I feel like my new boyfriend might have some weird form of eating disorder himself...?
/u/am_i_the_grasshole [5'8 | CW:122 | 18.4 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 29 07:57:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/737y4w/i_feel_like_my_new_boyfriend_might_have_some/
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He's extremely thin, to a level that's kinda demoralizing and motivating for me. He's only slightly heavier than me, like 130 to 135 but at like 5'11ish 6 foot-ish. Not really my type physically but I'm attracted to him for other reasons outside of his body. Anyways he has a lot of very strange quirks with food, but it doesn't seem like it's because he cares about his body or anything external.
There are foods he won't eat because he says they make him feel like his teeth are decaying and going to fall out when he eats them, or that when he eats anythign fried he'll say he says he can physically feel the oil piling up inside him. He'll still order fried food at restaurants but he'll pick off all the batter and just eat the inside part (which makes no sense, just don't order it in the first place!)
And it's not like all these aversions means he only eats healthy food,no he basically only eats peanut butter sandwiches, marshmallows, fried chicken with the batter peeled off, and other random things that don't really make any sense. And he hardly eats anyways, very small portions and pretty infrequently.
So yeah not sure if it's something to worry about, or if it's an eating disorder or something anxiety related, or if it's just on the weird side of normal and I'm projecting and making it seem like something that's disordered when it's just extreme picky eating.
[Discussion] Prozac + Restricting?
/u/Silverhope14
Created: Fri Sep 29 07:50:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/737wnv/prozac_restricting/
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[removed]
Kik pals
/u/vy_be
Created: Fri Sep 29 07:30:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/737sl9/kik_pals/
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[removed]
Kik pals
/u/vy_be
Created: Fri Sep 29 07:19:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/737qcx/kik_pals/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Woke up crying when someone told me I was fat in my dreams
/u/janqn
Created: Fri Sep 29 07:18:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/737q6q/woke_up_crying_when_someone_told_me_i_was_fat_in/
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It was so weird that experience felt so real. All I remembered was someone telling me I'm fat in my dreams and the next thing I know I woke up with tears in the middle of the night.
Anyone with similar experiences?
Let's talk on Kik
/u/vy_be
Created: Fri Sep 29 07:08:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/737o75/lets_talk_on_kik/
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[removed]
[Discussion] September 29th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 29 06:28:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/737gwt/september_29th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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Would you rather get bad news sugarcoated or straight up?
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! September 29, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Sep 29 06:12:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/737e69/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread/
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This is the weekly picture thread for September 29, 2017.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! September 29, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Sep 29 06:12:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/737e5i/daily_food_diary_september_29_2017/
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This is a daily food diary thread for September 29, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
Can you tell what days I started to feel more depressed? I feel like I just ruined my whole week.
/u/fatandignored
Created: Fri Sep 29 05:41:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73796n/can_you_tell_what_days_i_started_to_feel_more/
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https://i.redd.it/wr5uhk6c7toz.jpg
[Tip] to all u stoners
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 29 05:28:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73777k/to_all_u_stoners/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Why have a healthy lower end to BMI if we aren't allowed to be there?
/u/BlackHairedBloodElf [❤ 5' 2" 💛 CW: 97.6 💚 GW: 99 💙 17.9 💜 F ❤]
Created: Fri Sep 29 05:03:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7373gk/why_have_a_healthy_lower_end_to_bmi_if_we_arent/
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I had a thought ages ago about how the medical anorexia BMI cut off is at 17.5 but healthy is at 18.5.
Then the ideal BMI (for women) is 19.
So here's where we could get a healthy midpoint. We can be 18.0-19.5 ish. If we go above 19.0, we can lose weight with a healthy deficit no lower than 1200 cal/day (including exercise).
But if we go below 18, we make the deal to gain until we hit low 18s.
I thought this would be a good middle point to allow us to be tiny but not too far gone. But apparently I am insane for it. Anyone wanting to be low range healthy is apparently eating disordered even if they get there healthily.
The final stupid thing is seeing women complain they can't get a flat stomach. I more or less got one and dance in this BMI ~danger zone~ and have the coveted flat stomach. But I can't tell the women this because its ~eating disordered~.
I don't know what to do anymore. I thought I found our solution. But our solution is by society is just to be fat and hate our bodies forever.
And this brings the question to those who went to actual medical professionals for inpatient. What BMI do they want you to be before release? Or what are the criteria for release? Because I'm wondering what the actual doctors believe.
[Other] My piano teacher is dying and it's my fault
/u/cinnamonbicycle [5'2 | F | 🍑: shakylittleleaf]
Created: Fri Sep 29 04:46:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7370xu/my_piano_teacher_is_dying_and_its_my_fault/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] REJOICE VEGAN COMRADES
/u/typenaz [5'0| lol]
Created: Fri Sep 29 03:02:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/736n9m/rejoice_vegan_comrades/
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https://i.redd.it/gbvj62t1fsoz.jpg
REJOICE VEGAN COMRADES
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 29 02:59:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/736mvn/rejoice_vegan_comrades/
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https://i.redd.it/jy5xurliesoz.jpg
[Discussion] DAE lack self control when at home?
/u/ithrewthisaway__
Created: Fri Sep 29 02:37:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/736k8n/dae_lack_self_control_when_at_home/
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Especially when you're home alone. I've been in control with my eating during the week when i'm out and about, but i'm stuck at home today and i've been pretty much binging non-stop. I've tried to keep myself busy and all that but it doesn't seem to work. It sucks cause i'm volunteering at an event tomorrow where I have to interact with people. Guess they'll see me as a fat and bloated blob then :'(
Any tips to help with this would also be lovely ~
[Rant/Rave] Another post I found on r/fatlogic. Wtf is wrong with some people?
/u/kein-08-15
Created: Fri Sep 29 01:53:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/736et2/another_post_i_found_on_rfatlogic_wtf_is_wrong/
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https://i.redd.it/vvvvwtis2soz.jpg
[Other] Do you guys have notebook/paper trackers of calories, workouts, weight etc? Let's post them for inspiration :)
/u/burningthroughtime
Created: Fri Sep 29 01:24:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/736b2f/do_you_guys_have_notebookpaper_trackers_of/
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I'm looking to make a new notebook tracker as I couldn't find an app that had every function I wanted. I'm still going to use myfitnesspal, but I like writing the progress on a paper.
[Rant/Rave] I'm just mad. Or am I sane? Nothing ever remains the same..
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Fri Sep 29 00:36:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/736482/im_just_mad_or_am_i_sane_nothing_ever_remains_the/
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On mobile flair as rant rave.
Hello it's me. I don't post often but when I do I guess I just bitch about things and I feel like a phony because I'm too fat to have an eating disorder even though I am meticulous and obsessive over seemingly everything that enters my body.
I can't sing anymore because purging took my voice and wrecked my throat. It's painful to talk and I have a chronically dry throat I feel like.
I ceased to create because it took my mind, every thought was food or eating or a combination of both married with self loathing and judgement for myself and bitter towards everyone that wasn't me.
Clothes didn't fit how I wanted so I invented a style that's far from what I wanted. No heroin chic for me I became a grungey blod of thrifted clothes in sizes all small and large.
Mirrors were liars with bittersweet truths. What do I even look like? Some mirrors seem truer than others. The camera adds ten pounds minimum. I have multiple chins and more rolls than an overworked bakery.
My gender was nothing. I didn't want to be anything and every label I didn't pick would resonate worse than anything I could imagine. Id welcome freak or faggot over being called sir, son, brother, or man. I want to be nothing. I wanted to cease to exist.
I pushed myself to the edge. Days without food, little water. Starving in paradise, a mockery to those without access to what I take for granted. Letting my dizzy spells cast me to sleep, it was never rest just passing out. Awaking more tired than before.
I walked until my feet bleed then changed socks to walk a few more miles. I wore tight underlayers in the summer, sweaters in the heat to hide my skin, my fat, my scars.
I wanted pain so I gave in. On a cold rainy day outside treatment for my ED last year I cried a heavy cry and skipped part of my program. Took cover under shelter and chainsmoked until I thought I'd die of deprecation of oxygen. I kissed myself with my cigerrettes. "Who will want you now with all these burns, the cuts and scars. Who will want you now?" I said as tears cooled the molten burns on my skin. Then I sat in silence.
Today each arm hosts 20 plus scars, my legs are home to cuts. My feet perpetually blistered and calliced from walking. My joints ache and air refuses to stay in my lungs for long. I may have given myself asthma again after a bout as a child.
Why do I keep this Up? I became a monster and less than a person. I sacrificed everything on the alter to my illness and it continue to take robbing me or sleep, friendships, peace or mind.
I don't know how long i can keep this up. Maybe til the end of the year. One day this will be too much.
I have a history of trauma of different kinds and so physical touching doesn't really do me well but I just really wish someone would or could hold me and tell me i have value or that I matter...
Sorry for all these words. Thank you to anyone who reads my ramblings.
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] Giving away trigger foods to people in need
/u/luxklepto
Created: Fri Sep 29 00:34:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7363x0/giving_away_trigger_foods_to_people_in_need/
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I hoard food really bad. They're often safe foods like protein bars, but I always get way more, and they accumulate. I'm very compulsive in the grocery store, so I compulsively get more and more protein powder, protein bars, and dark chocolate.
And I constantly change my rules like one day I'm paleo, then vegan, then pegan, then pegan, but I eat fish sometimes. And I'm always thinking how I can get rid of food that I won't eat anymore or that I might binge on or that I fear will expire next month.
I was walking back from Whole Foods and saw a homeless man, and I gave him two protein bars I just got, and so the idea came into my head that I can give out unopened food that I consider no longer safe.
I'm really happy about this, and I burned calories from walking around and carrying a bag of food all day.
[Rant/Rave] I hit an even 100 pounds today! Can't enthuse about it to the people in my life, so I wanted to share this accomplishment here.
/u/dobelieveinbear [5'3 | 103 | 18.2 | GW: 90ish | F]
Created: Thu Sep 28 23:56:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/735ykn/i_hit_an_even_100_pounds_today_cant_enthuse_about/
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https://i.redd.it/df80gezxhroz.jpg
[Other] I started a 48 hour fast that I'll break on Saturday
/u/starvingarthoe
Created: Thu Sep 28 23:49:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/735xj7/i_started_a_48_hour_fast_that_ill_break_on/
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I'm being completely open and honest about it with my loved ones and I'm surprised by their support, but they still worry and might have become a little suspicious. I'm hoping they don't start paying closer attention to my eating habits. Either way, I'm an adult and they can't stop me even if they tried
[Rant/Rave] Pissing me off
/u/AngelicZero [5'5.5"| fat | -39 lbs | 115 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 28 23:46:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/735x2f/pissing_me_off/
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So, for the sake of congruency I live with a man and we are roommates. We also have a relationship that I could explain but is not necessary. Just know that he cares about me and what I do.
Tonight he pissed me off. I cut the crotch of my finger on a mug while doing dishes and when he got home I asked him if he could bandage my hand for me. It was my right hand that got cut so my left did a shit job wrapping.
He wouldn't stop asking to see it. When I finally let him see he refused to help me. Wtf. He told me it didn't look like a big deal. Then I said "You don't care. I'll take care of it myself. " and he tried to get me to use neosporan.
I told him he was a jerk and did this a lot. He downgrades feelings a lot and it makes me mad. If you want to ignore it when you burn, cut, or hurt yourself that's your problem. I don't do that. Now I just want to spread my 500 calories out over the whole day so at dinner he can ask me why I'm barely eating. :)
He sees me pack my lunch so he'll know I'm not eating a lot!!
I packed 2 apples and some kale+collards greens.
I just want to let him see how much I starve myself so he can worry. I just want him to feel the sort of anger and discomfort he constantly makes me feel by being thoughtless.
[Discussion] ANY CLINICALLY OVERWEIGHT PEOPLE ON HERE?
/u/courtenaymersa95 [5'2| CW: 93.5kg |GW: 65-70kgs |37.2 BMI | -3.5kg | F22]
Created: Thu Sep 28 23:44:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/735wt9/any_clinically_overweight_people_on_here/
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Sometimes i scroll through posts on here and see people so much littler than i am. I know i have only just started to pick up on my restrictive behaviours again but fuck i want to be thin. My mum and grandparents are going to be home all week next week. How am i supposed to restrict with them around? ive lost 2 kgs this week and barely binged. Im doing so well with my mum out of town arg
[Discussion] Post your daily exercise routine if you have one
/u/courtenaymersa95 [5'2| CW: 93.5kg |GW: 65-70kgs |37.2 BMI | -3.5kg | F22]
Created: Thu Sep 28 23:34:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/735vbf/post_your_daily_exercise_routine_if_you_have_one/
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[Rant/Rave] When you've been feeling good and not worrying about your body for months...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 28 22:40:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/735myi/when_youve_been_feeling_good_and_not_worrying/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Does anybody else notice a pattern with their EDs, depending on stuff that happens in your life??
/u/appletr335
Created: Thu Sep 28 22:19:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/735jfp/does_anybody_else_notice_a_pattern_with_their_eds/
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I notice that whenever I anticipate or go through a major change that I hate, I binge like crazy. Then after that once I regain control of the situation and I am driven by my feelings of anger/angst then I restrict like crazy. Like every time I've changed schools - high school uni - for a year I binge. Then once I get settled into the place I restrict.
Anyone else the same?
[Rant/Rave] its been easy until now (sad rant)
/u/thinnr [5'7" | cw114 | gw115 | 22f]
Created: Thu Sep 28 21:54:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/735eu0/its_been_easy_until_now_sad_rant/
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triggered into ed thoughts lately because i had several weeks where i had too much anxiety to eat. literally no appetite. i was 110 pounds and i loved it.
i feared my hair would fall out if i continued that way (and i care so much about my hair, its so important) i started eating more, and maintaining. high restriction.
its so much easier to just not be hungry at all. to not eat at all. emptiness.
im losing my non-appetite. im bingeing, third day in a row ive binged. im going to gain weight, im going to have a round distended stomach and its not going to go away.
now that ive seen how i look and how i feel when im at a low weight, now its truly struck me how much i want it, constantly. i feel like ive finally unlocked it. and i feel so fucked now. because at least before i didnt care. but now im so wrapped up in it.
i dont know what to do.
[Thinspo] Beauty ✨
/u/midwesthoe- [5'1| 105 | 19.8 |20F|]
Created: Thu Sep 28 20:56:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7354mz/beauty/
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https://i.redd.it/ywh3jy3qlqoz.jpg
Why do I have to be the fat one?
/u/courtenaymersa95 [5'2| CW: 93.5kg |GW: 65-70kgs |37.2 BMI | -3.5kg | F22]
Created: Thu Sep 28 20:55:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7354hi/why_do_i_have_to_be_the_fat_one/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Playing binge chicken with my dick room mate
/u/Anorexibulemanemia [Height 5'7"| CW 120 | GW 100 | 20M]
Created: Thu Sep 28 20:35:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7350ms/playing_binge_chicken_with_my_dick_room_mate/
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I feel like if I don't get this out I'm going to explode. First of all, my room mate is what I call a personality thief. His personality is shitty and he gets genuinely upset when people behave or do something that he wouldn't do. Until he finds something that you do that he wants to do. Then he takes that aspect and goes overboard on it to the point that he makes it his. He's always been big on going to the gym. He's always talking about being buff. Just last year I started on a dedicated fitness regiment because I wanted to slim down to extremely thin levels while preserving what lean muscle I have. He's always called me stupid for not wanting to be jacked and for eating celery and veggies, and he has frequently called me out for not eating enough because he doesn't want to be the only one that eats like shit. He was gone all summer and I lost a ton of fat by restricting and doing cardio. He lost his abs because he eats like shit. When he got back, and he saw my glorious abs and I refused to binge with him every time he decided to order an entire pizza, he started to get butt hurt. He saw that I looked 1000x better than him. He decided that he wants what I have and he wants it to be his idea because he's a personality stealing piece of shit. Suddenly, celery and peanut butter that doesn't have 15g of sugar per glance isn't stupid. Now he wants to share the very peanut butter that he called disgusting and bland. Suddenly he wants to go running with me. Suddenly he sees me drinking a Naked on my binge day and remarks "wow, that's super unhealthy, it's got a lot of sugar". I've honestly been considering putting high fructose corn syrup in our shared peanut butter without his knowledge and just getting my own secret jar of peanut butter. Anyways, his desire to steal my lifestyle has been making ED less enjoyable lately. Part of the fun is that I can improve and let him fuck up his body on his own. But today that all came crashing down. I was at school all day doing homework, I hadn't had a single thing to eat when I got home at 6:30 today. I walk into the kitchen and what do I see? A half eaten x-large brooklyn style pizza from Dominoes. That little bitch finally broke. That's something close to 1000 calories in one sitting. I know that's not the only thing he's eaten today too. His suffering from his own hubris in attempting to steal my ED is so sweet that I feel like I need to burn off the calories from it. Maybe I'll buy some peanut butter oreos, his ultimate weakness, to really drive it home and make him feel hopeless and give up. Sorry for the long crazy rant but this has been weighing on me all week.
[Help] Birth control/water weight
/u/shakespearestark
Created: Thu Sep 28 20:35:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7350lz/birth_controlwater_weight/
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Any tips for managing this? I’m thinking about going off pill all together. My legs look like they’re incredibly swollen and it’s messing with my self image. I haven’t even gained any weight at all but I look so much heavier
Binge eating & Binge exercising..
/u/gradsquests
Created: Thu Sep 28 20:34:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7350b7/binge_eating_binge_exercising/
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[removed]
[Discussion] I am always having some type of stomach problem because of my ED.
/u/kzxwy [5' 6" | CW: 129.0 | HW: 145.0 | GW: 115.0 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 28 20:24:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/734yft/i_am_always_having_some_type_of_stomach_problem/
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I was sitting in class the other night and was in extreme stomach pain to the point I couldn't focus. And it made me realize my stomach absolutely never feels normal. I either feel bloated and gassy from binging, having grumbling and hunger pangs from starving, diarrhea from laxative use, nausea from binge drinking, dicomfort from purging, etc. It would be so nice to just go one day without worrying about stomach pain or embarrassing bodily functions, but I know it's my own doing and I won't stop these habits.
Can anyone relate? And does anyone have any tips to minimize these symptoms?
Hope you all are having a lovely Thursday night/Friday morning. Xx
shirotaki noodles smells and has the texture of worms
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 28 20:13:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/734wb8/shirotaki_noodles_smells_and_has_the_texture_of/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] the best appetite supressant: shame
/u/NavigationalError [5'2'' | cw/bmi: kms | -15lbs | F]
Created: Thu Sep 28 20:07:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/734v5h/the_best_appetite_supressant_shame/
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I'm just really sad right now because I've been recovering from impulsive thoughts about food and eating. But recently, my dad's just been looking at me all disappointed when I do eat. He bought me food the other day and waved it around infront of my face because I was really hungry from fasting the entire day, right. He told me I wasn't allowed to eat it. lol.
Today, I just wanted a pizza because I have period cravings and like I said I'm trying to, y'know, not have disordered eating and actually not have to worry about how much weight I'm going to gain the day after. I told him I was going to order it and he literally facepalmed. He gave me the most disappointed look ever and now I'm too ashamed and feel like a failure to even eat a pizza. This is the 2nd-3rd time I've just fasted the entire day, this week.
I lost like two or three pounds though, so aleast I have that going for me.
[Tip] Printing this out for my vision wall 😍
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Thu Sep 28 19:56:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/734sy3/printing_this_out_for_my_vision_wall/
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https://imgur.com/j31KSMZ
Halo Top is coming out with VEGAN pints!!!!
/u/MissOptimistic007
Created: Thu Sep 28 19:52:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/734s1w/halo_top_is_coming_out_with_vegan_pints/
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https://twitter.com/HaloTopCreamery/status/913439551938547713
[Rant/Rave] I don't want to get better until I get diagnosed
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 93lbs | BMI 17.0 | 20F]
Created: Thu Sep 28 19:27:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/734n3b/i_dont_want_to_get_better_until_i_get_diagnosed/
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My BMI is around 17 right now (old BMI) and 17.5 (new). I know that if I lose another lb, technically I can be diagnosed with Anorexia according to the BMI requirement. Even though I still feel like a land whale, I feel like getting a diagnosis would be extremely validating.
I'm so afraid of being forced to eat before I get a diagnosis because then it won't feel real. I want to get to as low of a weight as possible before I attempt recovery because then I'll at least have proven something to myself. I'll have accomplished something...
Even though I'm restricting every day and occasionally purge, I still don't feel like I actually have a disorder. I feel like I must be faking it...like it must be some crazy fad diet or something. Getting this diagnosed would help quell some of that and idk.
Sorry for the rambling. I just am so afraid of gaining weight before getting diagnosed...or not actually being diagnosed.
[Other] Another indulgent fruit “dessert”
/u/midwesthoe- [5'1| 105 | 19.8 |20F|]
Created: Thu Sep 28 19:09:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/734jjl/another_indulgent_fruit_dessert/
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Cut a grapefruit in half and put a very very light spread of honey over it. Add some cinnamon and broil in the oven for 5 minutes. So warm and sweet!
[Help] When should I eat before exercising?
/u/SzStarsEatArt
Created: Thu Sep 28 18:53:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/734g9z/when_should_i_eat_before_exercising/
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Joined a TKD class. Last week, had dinner 2 hours before class, and felt bloated and lethargic, and hugely fat. Hoping to be better today, I wound up spending half the class throwing up bile, because the 350 calories I ate this morning/afternoon had long since been digested.
Been eating the exact same foods every day, with no issues. 584 calories, and doing Leslie Sansone videos whenever I felt like it. This TKD class is seriously kicking my ass. But I love it, and absolutely do not want to quit.
Any advice?
[Rant/Rave] I'm at the point in my relapse where I'm constantly asking myself:
/u/andareavante
Created: Thu Sep 28 18:07:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7346rt/im_at_the_point_in_my_relapse_where_im_constantly/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] So I just cried over broccoli
/u/Get-Closer [5'2 | 129 | 23.8 | -30 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 28 17:36:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7340jz/so_i_just_cried_over_broccoli/
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I had planned to eat some broccoli for dinner and I took it out and it was all moldy and gross, which is weird cause I got it just a few days ago and it looked completely fine!
Welllll I'm having a bad week and I don't really have any other food that's that low cal right now so I started crying over the damn broccoli. On the bright side I guess I'm turning the day into a fast ¯\_(ツ)_/ ¯
[Rant/Rave] I was doing so well...
/u/PrimitiveSwan
Created: Thu Sep 28 17:35:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7340hz/i_was_doing_so_well/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Guys - I've made a discovery
/u/ssfbgm
Created: Thu Sep 28 17:27:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/733yrb/guys_ive_made_a_discovery/
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I'm not sure why I never figured this out before. Maybe I just don't read as well as I thought.
You can make kool aid with Splenda.
I love me some sweet drinks and usually drink Diet Coke, but when there's none in the house kool aid works. I read the back of the packet for instructions since it had been a while, and it had Splenda as an option! It's life changing.
edit: mobile can't flair
[Help] How to add flair?
/u/MILF83
Created: Thu Sep 28 17:18:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/733wzj/how_to_add_flair/
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[removed]
[Help] Plateau Frustration
/u/gh0stxx [5'7 | 151 | 23.6 | -34 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 28 17:15:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/733w8s/plateau_frustration/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE want to be too skinny to be sexy?
/u/midsummerbird
Created: Thu Sep 28 17:15:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/733w8j/dae_want_to_be_too_skinny_to_be_sexy/
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A year ago I was in a relationship with a guy who would constantly touch me and pressure me to have sex with him. Instead of holding me in his arms he would hold my breasts when we would go to sleep. I never liked that but he did it anyway. Constant touching even after I told him I did not want it. After I finally broke it off with him I lost 12 kg and only stopped losing after reaching a weight thats classified as "underweight". With every kilo I lost my breasts became smaller and smaller and I loved it. I wanted them gone completely so that noone would want to touch them against my will ever again.
I don't want to be skinny so men perceive me as sexy. I don't really know what I want...I think I want them to look at me and feel the urge to protect me. Does anyone else feel similar?
[Discussion] Terrifying Dream
/u/canyouuseabowl
Created: Thu Sep 28 17:05:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/733u40/terrifying_dream/
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Last night, I had a dream that my mother discovered my account here. I have been discovered so many times in so many ways be it a journal, Instagram account, or Reddit account. It makes me extremely paranoid. In my dream, she found it, and I feeling SO betrayed and frustrated attempted to rip her hair out while screaming and crying.
We sat at the dinner table and she said "Folks we have another guest at this table tonight, because (name's) Anorexia is in full swing!" Ugh.
And then I had another dream that I was in a cooking competition against my boyfriend in my home. He was doing fine, and I wanted to make one of my favorite meals. The ingredients were all in the fridge, but I could NOT find a damn recipe ANYWHERE on the internet. I. had. a. huge. panic. attack. Enormous, complete with shrill gasping sobs. My boyfriend couldn't help me because he was my opponent and I produced nothing....stay tuned for the next fucked up melatonin induced nightmare...
[Rant/Rave] Was told I was 'obviously trans'
/u/secretweightloss
Created: Thu Sep 28 16:57:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/733sj1/was_told_i_was_obviously_trans/
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Tonight I went to a lgbt social event and I was feeling good about looking slimmer and more masculine until this really weird guy arrived and said to me 'So what LGBT are you' and I felt really put on the spot so I told him I was trans, and he replied 'yeah I can tell'.
So straight away I'm feeling disgusting and curvy, I want to melt the fat off of my chest and hips, I want to not leave the house until I'm skinny and male and perfect. But I can't do that because I have to go to uni. So instead i'm feeling guilty and awful about the fried halloumi I ate :(
[Rant/Rave] Day three of my fast ( even tho I had some veggies this morning ) because of this:...
/u/kitten664 [5'7" | CW 144.2| -11 | F | GW:110]
Created: Thu Sep 28 16:47:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/733qb6/day_three_of_my_fast_even_tho_i_had_some_veggies/
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So here’s the thing,
I’ve been talking to this guy for about 5 months. We met through mutual friends. And finally when I get the courage to go out with him he wants our mutual friend to come with, which I guess is understandable since we’ve only been texting forever it was nice to have someone there that knew both of us.
But she’s 116lbs and freaking gorgeous (body wise) and I’m just barely out of 145lbs. So obviously there’s a gap there.
So we go out to the beach and then dinner and then ice cream. During dinner he asks (my friend not even me) which 10 people would she chose to have in an apocalypse bunker and then said how he'd chose her to be in his because she didn't eat anything. When all I had was 1/4 of a salad and rice and beans where as she couldn't finish her buffalo chicken tacos. Like legit tacos with chicken tenders in them. Wtf how does that mean that someone doesnt eat. I had nothing!
And the only reason I even had the salad instead of just the side of rice and beans was because he had the audacity to ask me if I wanted to split a salad with him.
Like who asks a girl if they want to “split” a salad. Even mentioning salad is just a huge no-no I thought. Like what was he implying? Do I actually look that much fatter than her that I need to lose weight?
I'm just pissed that people have the audacity to say that they'd chose one girl over another just because they don't finish their dinner while the other girl is literally starving herself everyotherday and just because I don't look like it yet it sucks.
Am I being too sensitive?
[Help] 1st doctors appointment - terrified of gaining weight
/u/terrifiedmia
Created: Thu Sep 28 16:43:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/733pn3/1st_doctors_appointment_terrified_of_gaining/
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I have created this throwaway account in order to get some advice and read your experiences. My normal account has my Instagram handle on it.
I'm 5'3" (1.60cm) and back in February I weighed 165 lbs (75kg). I started counting calories and going to the gym and about halfway through the weight loss journey I started restricting very heavily to speed up the process. I have binge and purged sporadically in the past 10 years but had it always under control. Around April I started bingeing and purging weekly or even twice a week but I worked out every day and restricted heavily so I kept losing weight till I reached 130lbs (59 kg).
During the summer holiday (3 weeks) I tried to let go of this toxic cycle of restricting and purging and as a result I gained 11 lbs (5 kg). I thought I could lose them again by counting calories and working out as a regular person would do but only a few days into my normal routine after my holidays I started bingeing and purging heavily, around 4 times a week. I can't stop it. I feel fat, sad and defeated.
Last week I made such an effort vomiting that I broke a vein under my eye. It scared me so much and made me realise how badly I'm treating my body so called my doctor to set an appointment and ask for help. Needless to say since that happened I still have binged and purged several times. I don't know why I am addicted to it as I don't have an addictive personality at all (never have had drugs or similar).
The appointment is tomorrow and I'm really scared of not being taken seriously. I really, really want to stop bingeing and purging but I am also TERRIFIED of gaining more weight. I don't know how to deal with the doctor, I'm scared of his reaction. I really don't want to hear that I'm normal weight because I AM NOT. I was so happy at 59kg and I had my goal set at 55kg and the final goal at 52kg. I really want to keep working towards those goals. Every day I wake up with good intentions to eat normally and towards the afternoon I start having cravings which eventually end up in a binge purge cycle. I am exhausted, it feels like my whole existence is based on calorie counting, working out and purging. I want to reach my goal weight and stop for good.
Has anyone successfully left the binge and purge cycle without becoming fat as a result? How do you deal with cravings? Is any of you undergoing mia treatment in the UK?
This ended up being an incredibly long post, I'm so sorry.
[Other] I've just eaten after fasting for 30 hours
/u/little-paws
Created: Thu Sep 28 16:30:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/733mwb/ive_just_eaten_after_fasting_for_30_hours/
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[removed]
About to purge I took a quick Facebook test and...
/u/dying222
Created: Thu Sep 28 16:20:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/733knf/about_to_purge_i_took_a_quick_facebook_test_and/
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https://i.redd.it/j8l26iwi8poz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] seeing my old crush makes me hate myself (even more)
/u/proudnalgeneowner [5'5 | CW109 | GW95 | 18.35 | 17F]
Created: Thu Sep 28 16:12:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/733ips/seeing_my_old_crush_makes_me_hate_myself_even_more/
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so, in seventh grade I sat with this really toxic group of people at lunch. everyone counted calories, and only a couple people actually ate a real lunch. they were shamed for it, there was one girl who had the calorie counts for everything memorized and she would add up everyone's meals and say "wow. so many calories, so many carbs. you're so lucky you can eat like that, when I eat like that I get fat." also, whenever anyone was absent from school they would all shit talk her.
at the time I was eating like shit, but not eating enough. I was 5'4 and 90lbs. started off each day with two cans of redbull. I ate dry frosted flakes for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and was constantly sleep deprived as I stayed up past 2am every night on tumblr (bet ya can guess what I was doing there ... )
There was one girl there who was basically my sole reason to stay. I told myself I was just wicked jealous since she was thinner than me, but looking back I was totally crushing on her. I had myself convinced that I was a wannabee anorexic and a wannabee lesbian and that I only thought these things because I was pathetic and wanted attention.
it turns out that thinking about kissing your friend all the time is not straight, go figure.
we were regarded as the "naturally skinny" folks at the table. I never saw her actually eat her lunch. she'd take out a sandwich and some grapes at the beginning of lunch and just eat the grapes, then put the sandwich back. maybe a bite or two.
she was like 5' and I don't remember how much she weighed (this was a topic of discussion but I forgot) but it was significantly less than me. cue the self hate and jealousy.
in high school I found better friends but I still see her sometimes. she is still really pretty and looks like she hasn't gained a pound. goals. I'm a little tempted to post a picture here but 1. major privacy violation 2. she doesn't like pictures of herself even on her own insta 3. major privacy violation 4. major privacy violation 5. shit, what if she's on here. shit. hi, this is awkward.
I wrote this while munching on dry frosted flakes, things haven't changed all that much
[Rant/Rave] Just ED things <3
/u/jjfmish [5'6 | GW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Thu Sep 28 15:58:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/733fhi/just_ed_things_3/
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[removed]
[Discussion] birth control that doesn't cause weight gain?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18 | 22F]
Created: Thu Sep 28 15:55:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/733exi/birth_control_that_doesnt_cause_weight_gain/
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i just got switched from trinessa to tri-sprintec (generic forms of ortho tri-cyclene, which is combination oral birth control) and i never had a problem with weight gain on trinessa but have only been taking tri-sprintec for a day. since taking it, i haven't been getting hungry but i feel kind of bloated despite not eating and only drinking.
i'm reading online that people have gained weight on tri-sprintec (i think it'll make a difference that i was on another type of the same generic birth control before), which freaks me out. has anyone found that their birth control makes them not gain weight (or even lose it lol)? i know that everyone's different but thought i'd ask.
[Rant/Rave] Down two more pounds, prolly a shit post.
/u/MILF83
Created: Thu Sep 28 15:36:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/733aoe/down_two_more_pounds_prolly_a_shit_post/
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So I had an appointment with my doctor today. I thought he was going to freak about me losing more weight but what's 2lbs?... I'm 5'4 and currently 121lbs, about a year ago I was 40lbs heavier.... he said I'm still in good health but did up my anxiety/depression meds to 20mg a day.. he also wondered why I haven't gone to my therapist.. told him I thought the meds were doing good enough.. idk if I should go to therapy or not.. my eating habits/purging are still not under control but in all life is goin where I feel it should be. Recently started 2 new jobs and the man of my dreams and I have been together almost 2 years (in december). We recently bought a house together and I finally feel like im getting somewhere in life..Idk if I should hold out goin to therapy or just make an appointment. My mom's been pressing me about going but I'm still afraid of telling some stranger all my deepest secrets... I guess I'm just looking for advice on what to do next...
[Rant/Rave] paying for way more than my share of the food so i don’t ~out myself~
/u/7376549 [♂20/c60/g50/-3]
Created: Thu Sep 28 15:29:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7338xk/paying_for_way_more_than_my_share_of_the_food_so/
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sorry this is pretty dumb & totally my own fault but
so my roommate & i split everything 50/50, including the food shopping because it’s simpler that way i guess..?
but oh my god i don’t even want to think about how much more than my share i must be paying. i know for a fact my roommate eats at least double what i do cus i’m on 1000 calories a day lmao & she eats *constantly* - like, we bought a loaf of bread (600g) 2 days ago & almost the whole thing is gone already cus she’ll have 2 slices of toast w peanut butter or whatever as a snack, like, once or twice per day. she just eats. constantly. and so much.
but i can’t say anything because i can’t let on that i’m restricting :))) i just :))) oh my god i’m broke as it is & whenever i think about how much i must be spending on basically just.. feeding her.. it stresses me out so badly :)))
she should be moving soon (pls pray that it’s soon lol 🤞🤞🤞) & i honestly can’t wait to live alone again to 1) be able to cut down on food spending lmao 2) not have to sneak around measuring my food & 3) be able to fast whenever i want for as long as i want without being noticed... 😍 (as well as to just have peace & quiet again cus she is so FUCKING loud jeeeeezus i hate this)
oh, and to add insult to injury..? she eats like that & doesn’t gain weight. at all, ever. she’s literally a stone lighter than me + at least an inch taller & she’s just one of those lucky fuckers who stays thin no matter what. her go-to outfits are always skinny jeans & crop tops too so it’s just. constant envy. she has a thigh gap my bone structure will never allow & i wanna *die* lol
gosh anyway. rant over, as always thanks for listening 😓😓😓
[Help] Can anyone link me to an old post where someone photocopied an old 1950's diet book?
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 103 | 18.3 | F 🍍]
Created: Thu Sep 28 15:23:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7337jp/can_anyone_link_me_to_an_old_post_where_someone/
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I was SO SURE I saved that post earlier this year (last year?) but of course i cant find it now.
Basically a user here had a copy of a diet book from 1950 or 60 something and posted a page of it, then later scanned the whole thing and uploaded it. It had meal plans for the entire day, most of which was black coffee, grapefruits, eggs, and salad Im p sure...and I remember it actually had calorie counts, which I thought was odd for an older book since I didnt realize they did that much back then. It was black and white an occasionally had illustrations of thin women that looked like the original, bitchy barbies.
Ive tried searching for it but you know reddits search function sucks...can any one link me?
[Rant/Rave] MOM STUFF. WHY.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 28 14:48:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/732zn2/mom_stuff_why/
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[deleted]
[Other] "For Girls Who Had Eating Disorders Not Bad Enough For Treatment" by Kerri Lowe
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 28 13:34:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/732hpt/for_girls_who_had_eating_disorders_not_bad_enough/
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https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NXL7ygcLiew
[Rant/Rave] Pushed over the edge
/u/TinyPorcelainDoll [4'9.5" | CW: 100 lbs | GW: 85 lbs | SW: 130 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Sep 28 13:25:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/732fkc/pushed_over_the_edge/
---
This is my second ever post both in this subreddit and on Reddit in general. I'm sorry, I'm a terrible lurker... and am apparently not doing as well as I had thought... I am typing this from a bathroom stall at work.
I decided to brave wearing what I had thought was a lovely blue dress to work today. In a very sincere sounding voice (to me I guess??) a customer just asked me "Boy or girl?" repeatedly.
I was really confused because even though I occasionally identify as bi-gender (my gender identity is a whole semi-unrelated story), I am a female-assigned-at-birth and for most of this year, I have been publicly presenting as a feminine woman. I gave her a very confused look and asked her what she meant. She then said, "The baby. When's the baby due?" She seemed so sincere thinking that I am pregnant. I know for a fact that I am not pregnant.
I know I am well over my goal weight of 90 pounds at 113 pounds (as of first thing this morning) on a 4'10.25" frame, but... I...just...can't...
I am literally hiding in a bathroom stall at work and I am so not ready to go back to the salesfloor and I know I have to. God, please, please, please, I don't want to be seen in public and I just want to go home, v***t, and hide in bed away from everyone.
[Rant/Rave] People keep telling me I look good and it's pissing me off?
/u/diedawhileago [5'5 1/2 | 101.6 | 16.7 | -128.4 lbs! | 17f]
Created: Thu Sep 28 13:07:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/732b8k/people_keep_telling_me_i_look_good_and_its/
---
I know I'm an asshole and this is the world's most pathetic, whiniest "problem" but OH MY GOD. Part of me is just desperate for someone to notice that I'm 100% not okay, and I'm really weirdly frustrated that people think I look good. Healthy. Normal. How much more do I have to lose? I already feel like a massive fake for lowkey wanting someone to help me, constantly hearing how """good""" I look makes it even worse. It feels like if I look ""good"" then I must not have a problem.
And if I look good now, does that mean I'd be fat if I gained up to a healthy BMI????? Did I look fat at a healthy weight and am only now starting to look acceptable, when I've lost my period and can barely function? Is being underweight the only way for me to look okay???? Nobody said I looked good when I was healthy. Apparently I only look good now, when I feel about 2 seconds away from dying.
I'm sorry this is so whiney. I feel like all I do here now is bitch about my stupid problems, but it seems like everything is unraveling. I don't know why I'm like this.
Adderall
/u/thatgirlwholikespink
Created: Thu Sep 28 13:01:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7329r4/adderall/
---
[removed]
[Help] Please help, I'm so disgusting but I'm restricting and starving myself, it's not working. Photos inside.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 28 12:49:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7326yt/please_help_im_so_disgusting_but_im_restricting/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Incoming : First world problems
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 28 12:43:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7325h1/incoming_first_world_problems/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Starving is my antidepressant
/u/calmlyranting [5'5 | Fluctuating | F]
Created: Thu Sep 28 12:32:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7322yu/starving_is_my_antidepressant/
---
I think I'm officially done with recovery. Since I've been doing it, I'm constantly a nervous, depressed mess. Restricting for me has done what deep breathing, meditation, yoga, therapy, and waiting for things to get better, "because I seem like such a normal/smart young lady! So things are bound to get better for me" hasn't.
I feel like the description of people who go off their meds because "it seems to have gone away, so I don't think I need this anymore!" Recovery has made me learn I do. Before wasn't great but at least I wasn't on constant verge of a breakdown. It's a terrible coping mechanism but it's the best I have.
I wish I had more hope in the process, but I just don't. I hardly have hope in anything anymore. I just don't want to feel like this anymore. I can't take it.
[Discussion] Any super low-cal smoothie ideas??
/u/sororityasian
Created: Thu Sep 28 12:08:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/731x0c/any_super_lowcal_smoothie_ideas/
---
Heyyy girlies, school started this week and my mom got me a Magic Bullet. I love it, it makes me eat my greens!! Food is getting boring (I've lost 5lbs since the beginning of the month!!) and went vegan. I got my period back which is annoying because of it, but I'll take what I can get.
I spend like $7 on a TropiKale smoothie from Whole Foods which only has kale, pineapple chunks, and coconut water. This is what I've been making but I also want to mix it up here and there.
Anyone have any super simple, low cal smoothies recipes??
[Discussion] What are your petty reasons to lose weight?
/u/Banana-Ghost
Created: Thu Sep 28 11:34:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/731oi5/what_are_your_petty_reasons_to_lose_weight/
---
I'll share mine.
I was always jealous of my friends being hit on and treated in a nicer way because they're skinny. I wanna be that.
Also to be the smallest person in my overweight family (even though I already am in a way), but I want to be complimented on it.
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend is starting to notice
/u/acidfairy [5'4" | CW: 133 | GW: 115 | -45 | 24F]
Created: Thu Sep 28 11:24:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/731lyf/my_boyfriend_is_starting_to_notice/
---
In the last few weeks he's said stuff about how if I was as skinny as I used to be, he would leave me - I know this isn't true but I kind of want to see how far I can push this in a fucked up way. And then last night he said he could count how many times he's seen me eat on both hands (And we've been dating over a year). Then he asked if I'm eating. I changed the subject. Is it absolutely terrible that this just makes me want to become so skinny and make him worry about me? Am I sick?
[Other] PSA: Vegan Halo Top is finally here & I'm not sure if it's the answer to my vegan prayers or what the future of self sabotage will look like for me
/u/hunterxgreen [5'4'' | CW: 162 | GW: bones | F]
Created: Thu Sep 28 11:23:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/731lom/psa_vegan_halo_top_is_finally_here_im_not_sure_if/
---
https://i.redd.it/wiybxdnfrnoz.jpg
[Help] How do you avoid eating dinner with your parents?
/u/gayishfish
Created: Thu Sep 28 10:46:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/731crw/how_do_you_avoid_eating_dinner_with_your_parents/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I finally feel like I am allowed some starbucks without guilt and someone ruins it
/u/BlackHairedBloodElf [❤ 5' 2" 💛 CW: 97.6 💚 GW: 99 💙 17.9 💜 F ❤]
Created: Thu Sep 28 10:27:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73180y/i_finally_feel_like_i_am_allowed_some_starbucks/
---
After years, I'm finally going on vacation with my wife. We had no wedding or honeymoon, so this is our super late "honeymoon."
I also am financially responsible, and researched a credit card to up my credit. And I have over $100 in free cash back rewards sitting on it for the vacation. So I requested a $25 Starbucks card for my trip.
Note that our household food budget is about 400-450 max, including eating out. For 2.
I was researching the airports I pass through for Starbucks to see where I can get a drink and mentioned how airports have so many. And a coworker chimes in, "A place where fools are separated from their money."
This guy sees no problem buying multiple energy drinks a day. Going out to eat every lunch. Getting beef jerky as a snack. But my vacation Starbucks is somehow the problem.
I already feel bad about ordering the gift card. And I can't cancel the order. I was so close to avoiding food guilt and one comment brought it back.
Anyone else have this happen? You're finally chill with some food after a mental struggle and someone has to ruin it, resetting your progress.
Edit: I added up my Starbucks since my bank acct opened in 2013. $203.46 on Sbux. 2 person bank acct. Dude can chill.
[Help] binging
/u/daisyhands
Created: Thu Sep 28 10:25:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7317j6/binging/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Can you tell which days I didn't work, smoked weed and turned into a disgusting monster? 🙃
/u/Mona_Lisa_Smile
Created: Thu Sep 28 10:21:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7316lx/can_you_tell_which_days_i_didnt_work_smoked_weed/
---
https://imgur.com/gallery/crU8N
[Rant/Rave] friends bothering me about not eating...
/u/sadfatgirl- [5'7 | 193 | gw120]
Created: Thu Sep 28 09:56:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7310bo/friends_bothering_me_about_not_eating/
---
So I have a couple of close friends whom I've known for a really long time. They know absolutely nothing about my BED because I hid it pretty well. But lately I've been getting stricter and stricter with my restrictions and I'm fasting for most of the day with one 600 calorie meal after a workout. I make sure that's in front of my parents so they don't ask questions, but I've been getting weird looks when I skip lunch or avoid all talk or discussion of food.
I tried to explain to one of my closer friends that I'm doing IF, which she knows quite a bit about. She seemed to be okay with that but my other friend is not convinced. She keeps confronting me and asking me to go to get lunch with her and is wondering if I've been eating. I've lost a noticeable amount of weight since the end of the summer but I'm still clinically obese which makes kills me inside. I don't know how to get her to back off and I'm just looking for some advice. What do you all do when the discussion of food comes up? How do you keep the conversations away?
On the other hand, I have one friend who is super proud of my progress and is always there if I need someone to talk to about low-cal carb-free meals. She is super into it and we work out together multiple days a week.
I guess there are positives and negatives :)
[Rant/Rave] I got a home elliptical!!
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Thu Sep 28 09:40:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/730wl9/i_got_a_home_elliptical/
---
No more early gym mornings for me, TV, dogs, comfortable bathroom breaks. The excitement my ED has for this is awesome but frightening. My mood has been shit but once I committed to this and the guy said he could deliver in a day...my mood has peaked higher than in weeks. I'm promising myself not to escalate my already too much exercise but we will see. Here's to almost Friday! My messed up self is excited to restrict two more days then enjoy cooking and alldacheese and popcorn.
[Discussion] are there any strange physical habits you've developed?
/u/shiraruru
Created: Thu Sep 28 09:31:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/730u8e/are_there_any_strange_physical_habits_youve/
---
recently, my friends have started to point out that i tend to cover my mouth every time i'm eating something.
apparently i've been doing it a lot, to the point where now that i've noticed, it begins to feel off if my lips/cheeks aren't covered when i'm chewing. there's even this odd compulsion to stop chewing if i'm not covering myself.
just wondering if anyone else does the same as i do?
also!! i'd like to know about any other 'quirks' you guys have developed?
[Rant/Rave] For my fellow vegans, our time has come!!!! Vegan Halo Top is on the way ❤️
/u/tinywolfxo [5'4"|C 123.4|G 105|H 162|L 97|F]
Created: Thu Sep 28 09:14:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/730q5w/for_my_fellow_vegans_our_time_has_come_vegan_halo/
---
https://www.buzzfeed.com/ariellecalderon/halo-top-vegan-ice-cream?utm_term=.hpEv2Vj5Z#.jnE5X89mx
[Other] Unexpected but effective
/u/janesavage [167 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 50 kg | 18F]
Created: Thu Sep 28 09:13:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/730pzq/unexpected_but_effective/
---
So it's getting to that time of year again.
And I don't mean pumpkin spice, or leaves changing, or chunky, knit jumpers. (Though I'm not opposed to those things.)
I'm talking about Halloween.
I've always loved Halloween. My mum and I have always made my costumes, so it's a nice time of the year in my memories (the sound of the sewing machine, the smell of wet cloth under an iron, inky October nights...). And though Halloween isn't as big a thing here in Germany, I've never missed a year and I'm not planning on breaking that streak.
I cut my hair a few months ago, and now it's finally at the perfect length for two ideas -- Clarice Starling from The Silence of the Lambs (one of my favourite books), and Coraline. The question is which one.
As much as I love Jodie Foster, I was looking at pictures of Coraline online, and I was suddenly struck with how thin she is. Like, twig-thin. And I understand that it's an animated film, but she's just so...*~goals~*, you know?
And suddenly, the urge to binge I had been half-ignoring disappeared. Just...poof. Thanks to bi-weekly binges of varying sizes, I've been maintaining for the month I've been here, and damn it, I want to change that. I look at Coraline, and I want to restrict.
But you know what I *really* want to be for Halloween?
My goal weight.
I broke a 3 day fast.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 28 08:28:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/730ffh/i_broke_a_3_day_fast/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I'm gross? I'll show you how gross I can be.
/u/ibizadaydreams [5'1 | CW120 | 22.7 | GW95| F]
Created: Thu Sep 28 07:58:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7308mg/im_gross_ill_show_you_how_gross_i_can_be/
---
Even though my husband didn't actually call me gross, I took it that way. We got into a fight and he tries to be as hurtful as possible when we fight. He said "It grosses me out".
He knew I took it the wrong way because I told him that's fine and understandable because I gross myself out too. He tried to explain but it was already too late.
I do gross myself out. So fucking much.
So out of anger I'm torn between wanting to show him just how gross I can be. Either by gaining more weight and being a nasty fatty. Instead of hiding my binges I should do it in front of him. Or I should just stop eating.
I know it's not something he thinks I can do. He doesn't expect me to ever be skinny again... would be fucking nice to show him how much he hurts me when he says stupid shit like that.
[Rant/Rave] When will it be enough??
/u/hungryhippie77
Created: Thu Sep 28 07:42:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73057s/when_will_it_be_enough/
---
Got down to 102. Felt okay for a bit but then gained up to 107. I felt huge. I started restricting subconciously. I still felt huge. Hadn't weighed myself in a long time. Figured I must be at 114 by now. Went to the gym and I was back at 102, but it wasn't like the first time when I hit that number. This time I still felt big. The numbers are like mirages. They look like perfect treasures from afar but once you get there and hit that number you don't find what you were looking for, which is satisfaction with your weight. Then you see a new mirage in the distance, and you keep following them until you either turn back for something real or die in the desert. I went home after the gym and looked at BMI calculators online. I wanted to be 94 pounds now. Then a few hours later I realized everything.
Size 0 pants are already too loose. Xs shirts already fit me.
I am thinking like I was when I was 107 looking at 102. Except now I'm at 102 looking at 94. I thought I would hit 94 and be happy there. I probably won't though, and then my eyes will creep to a lower number. Then I'll be 94 looking at number X. Then I'll be number X looking at number Y. Then what happens? It'll continue and continue. I get it now how adult women with eating disorders can get down to 60 pounds....
I know someone my height absolutely should never be bellow 100 pounds.
I will not let myself fall lower.
Edit: by went to the gym I meant I went there one time and used the scale while there.
[Discussion] Your experience dating someone who knows about your eating disorder?
/u/hungryhippie77
Created: Thu Sep 28 07:36:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7303zh/your_experience_dating_someone_who_knows_about/
---
I am in my first relationship and my boyfriend is the first person I have opened up to. Even after years of behavior conducive to extreme weight loss I only just recently recognized that I probably have an eating disorder (anorexia). I haven't said those words exactly but I have told my boyfriend how I feel. He is really loving and dear about it. I sometimes feel though as if I'm too fat for him. He doesn't make me feel this way it's just a personal insecurity of mine. He is a bit thinner than me with an amazing body and he has been approached in the past by very beautiful (skinnier than me) women. I have no fears he would ever cheat on me but I do sometimes fear all the efforts I have to put into managing my problem are unattractive.
So what's it like for you to date with your eating disorder? What insecurities does it cause you in the relationship and how does your partner respond to what you tell him or her?
[Discussion] Vegan Halo Top is coming out!
/u/fetcreeps [5'4 ~ CW: gross ~ GW: not gross]
Created: Thu Sep 28 07:27:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73027j/vegan_halo_top_is_coming_out/
---
Vegan Halo Top is set to release during the second week of October and there will be 7 flavors - Oatmeal cookie, Caramel Macchiato, Chocolate, Cinnamon Roll, Chocolate covered Banana, Peanut butter cup, and Sea Salt Caramel. They're made with coconut milk. I'm pretty excited and I will probably try one of these (lol jk I'm buying all) instead of B&J's.
[Discussion] DAE feel like they cant restrict as hard as they used to?
/u/sp_600 [5'7🌻107🌻16.8🌻20f]
Created: Thu Sep 28 07:17:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/73006x/dae_feel_like_they_cant_restrict_as_hard_as_they/
---
I consider myself to be a high restricter these days. I average about 900 cal daily. As much as I would like to fast, I just cant seem to make it. Ever since O dropped below a bmi of about 17.5, its all gotten way harder. I am losing WAY slower.
[Discussion] September 28th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 28 07:12:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72zz40/september_28th_2017_question_of_the_day/
---
How hungry are you right now?
(Lmao)
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support September 28, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Sep 28 06:11:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72znv5/weekly_emotional_support_september_28_2017/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! September 28, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Sep 28 06:09:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72znm8/daily_food_diary_september_28_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 28, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Thinspo] Goals right there
/u/triciamilitia
Created: Thu Sep 28 05:15:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72zejk/goals_right_there/
---
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/a7/b8/20/a7b82074ca98ec1198ce26cee0fff056.jpg
[Discussion] eating expired ice cream to sate your urge to purge👌😍
/u/allevana
Created: Thu Sep 28 04:52:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72zayd/eating_expired_ice_cream_to_sate_your_urge_to/
---
okay so I'm in the worst binge session, I've probably eaten 4000k+ calories (I stopped tracking) but I'm halfway through a tub of vegan cookies and cream ice cream and it tastes expired, super grainy, it smells
I checked the tub, it expired a MONTH ago
But I'm not gonna stop eating it
Because it's gonna come back up in 20min
Or I'll shit my guts out from food poisoning and that will also help me lose weight so (I was actually in the ER last week from food poisoning) lol
Is anyone else this way?? Like how fucked up is it that I'm eating expired fucking food just to purge it
What the fuck
[Rant/Rave] Down Another Size
/u/livingoncoffeee
Created: Thu Sep 28 04:51:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72zavi/down_another_size/
---
I'm an American Eagle 00 now! Which is know is vanity sized to hell... but I was a size 14 six months ago.
I don't see a difference in me and scales are inaccurate so clothing size is the only way I measure anything. I thought I'd feel different but I don't. I thought 00 would be a happy thing? But all I can see is fat. It's surreal. All I can think about are my binges and how much more progress I could have made if only I'd skipped them. And I don't know how to measure my sucess or lack thereof from now on....
[Other] If chewing/eating sounds put you off of eating, or you like watching people eat...
/u/Anghoul [5'6''|BMI: 22.12|GW: 120|WL: 75|]
Created: Thu Sep 28 02:42:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72ytxr/if_chewingeating_sounds_put_you_off_of_eating_or/
---
Check out food ASMR.
I get the awful tingly ASMR feeling, not everyone does, but it makes it ultimately worse for me?
Heres one:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5wwiM659vjvKNvP63cPoaQ/videos
She also has a mukbang channel, so if you just like watching people eat, she's pretty nice!
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHn2-DNS5t4tEXqBK5bHmTQ
[Rant/Rave] Words my fwb used to describe me last night
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Thu Sep 28 01:15:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72yiu5/words_my_fwb_used_to_describe_me_last_night/
---
"Big" "womanly" "curvy" "mature"
This was as he was all over me, which I like, but I stopped being into it after he said those things. He still came.
I feel the restriction fire being ignited again. I feel disgusting.
[Help] Severe acne from restricting
/u/plantbasedpumpkin
Created: Wed Sep 27 23:53:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72y7fu/severe_acne_from_restricting/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Combating Crankiness and Fatigue Whilst Fasting?
/u/Flesh_Daddy_
Created: Wed Sep 27 23:27:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72y3kz/combating_crankiness_and_fatigue_whilst_fasting/
---
My boyfriend doesn't notice if I haven't eaten UNTIL I start to inevitably show signs. I just wanna know how you combat the irritation and sleepiness. I'd take a nap but I work, I'm a student, I cook, and clean for everyone in the household so naps are sparse.
[Rant/Rave] Gym is locked fml.
/u/fog-bone [5'2" |CW 156 | BMI 28.6|UGW 105| -13 | Female]
Created: Wed Sep 27 23:19:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72y27k/gym_is_locked_fml/
---
So I overate today. Over my limit by 300 cals. Decided it would be fine, I'll just go to the gym in my apt. Afterwards and work it off. I should really go to the gym anyways.
I wait until the gym should be empty, get ready and head over. Locked. My pass key won't let me in.
So now I'm really angry and looking at moving apartments and breaking my lease since this place is a garbage hole anyways. How's your night going?
[Discussion] How do I deal with my ED when I plan to become pregnant?
/u/yourtwistedshell
Created: Wed Sep 27 23:14:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72y1gy/how_do_i_deal_with_my_ed_when_i_plan_to_become/
---
I'll probably get some shit for this, but I want to hear y'alls honest opinion. For all the mothers or currently pregnant ladies, how did or do you deal with your ED while trying to provide the proper nutrition for your baby. My husband and I are planning to have a baby in the next 2-3 years (hopefully if I'm physically able to have a child). Also did you seek treatment before, during or after being pregnant or thinking about conceiving?
[Discussion] Food videos
/u/Numbnun
Created: Wed Sep 27 22:52:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72xy1x/food_videos/
---
I love watching videos that involve food. Healthy food, junk food, you name it. I specifically like watching people eating food like Matt Stonie or The Report Of The Week. It helps me to not binge or go over my 500 calorie limit. It doesn’t make any sense to me! You’d think that it would break me but it actually helps a lot. Does anyone else do this?
[Rant/Rave] i'm scared to reduce my exercise.
/u/ci-fre
Created: Wed Sep 27 22:52:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72xy0z/im_scared_to_reduce_my_exercise/
---
i'm so fucking scared. i want to scream in frustration. i'm doing strongcurves which doesn't even sound like much and i'm so very tired. i sound like i can't take much because it's not like i'm fasting, i'm having maybe 670-680 calories every day. but it's fucking with my body and i feel weak and shaky and can only think of food whenever i exercise.
today i had trouble walking around to my classes/dorms. for a moment i couldn't breathe normally. and i forced myself to do some cardio kickboxing video and i couldn't even do all the movements, i was so tired.
i'm so fucking scared to reduce my exercise right now because i don't have a sufficient 'excuse' to burn fewer calories. i'm trying to maintain, so i'm having this thing where every week i raise my calories. but since i already started my exercise routine this week i can't change it anymore. fuck. fuck. fuck.
i wish i didn't feel so weak and shaky all the time. i want this week to end.
[Help] New relationships
/u/DahliaDubonet [INTERNAL SOBS]
Created: Wed Sep 27 22:46:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72xx2n/new_relationships/
---
Honestly, ya'll. I'm effing losing it right now. I'm dating someone waaaay out of my league and not sure how much longer I can keep the performance up. I feel like I'm on the verge of a complete mental breakdown and when he asks how I am I just want to confess everything but I have no idea how to even broach the topic.
In every other relationship I just pretended I was normal and that nothing was wrong and never told them anything: and in every other relationship it eventually blew up in my face.
I really like him and am torn between wanting to confess how fucking insane I am now to either scare him away to find someone better or to just get it all off my chest because I need help because I've absolutely been losing it recently.
How do you guys go about starting to explain your neuroses? Are you honest up front, do you slowly introduce it? Has it blown up in your face? I'm flying blind here, guys and feeling very... UGH
[Goal] I think I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 27 22:31:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72xus6/i_think_im_seeing_the_light_at_the_end_of_the/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Anyone else gain weight on birth control? Just started and my appetite has skyrocketed
/u/skinnylittlebear [5'5 | 116ish | 19.5 | -20 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 27 21:50:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72xnkp/anyone_else_gain_weight_on_birth_control_just/
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First post after lurking for a long time :) Just started BC because my period cramps were so so painful I couldn't go to class or even drive a car. Unfortunately, my appetite has been so uncontrollable & I've been eating constantly and so shittily. I'm too scared to weigh myself after all the damage I've done. Any tips, like should I just quit the BC or will the cravings go away? Gaining more weight is not an option
[Rant/Rave] Not sure if people are really rather annoying...
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Wed Sep 27 21:24:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72xijm/not_sure_if_people_are_really_rather_annoying/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] "0 calorie detox day"
/u/beevolcano
Created: Wed Sep 27 21:01:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72xeaj/0_calorie_detox_day/
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I have no fucking clue why but my IRL friend has decided she must compete with me now for weight loss, despite me never talking about it & asking her not to.
So she sends me a snap of her "0 calorie detox day" and her drinking tea.
Please can you just FUCK OFF? I do NOT CARE about your weight loss AT ALL.
[Discussion] DAE think about calories in nonfoods?
/u/swagcat9000 [5'5" | 131 lbs | 21.8 | -37 | M |]
Created: Wed Sep 27 20:50:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72xc58/dae_think_about_calories_in_nonfoods/
---
i have pica so i eat a lot of paper and stuff but i always wonder shit like this..
assuming we're talking about digestible calories, i wonder how many calories are in a sheet of paper? a book?
what about lip balm? it's made of food safe oils and flavorings, so does lip balm have a tangible amount of calories? also, with the amount of calories i burn applying it, what is the net for 1 application of chap stick?
i worry about these things yet i have no problem stomaching an entire cake sometimes. aaaah the folly of eating disorders.
(discussion flair por favor)
[Rant/Rave] The dress I keep to remind myself I'm disgusting
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Wed Sep 27 20:27:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72x7rq/the_dress_i_keep_to_remind_myself_im_disgusting/
---
I have a dress I used to fit in when I was only a mini whale. It's a floral yellow one from H&M. While I wasn't a reasonable size when I wore it, it was a lot less embaressing than the size I am now.
Each time I see myself naked in the mirror and I think I look good I try on the dress and remind myself that I was hideous when that dress fit so I am no where near good now. It reminds me why I go to the gym, why I have Boost juices for lunch and why that floating feeling and light-headedness are necessary.
Eventually I'll look the way I should. Eventually I'll be too small for that dress.
[Other] Just a little something I wrote to calm myself after a binge
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 27 20:24:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72x70y/just_a_little_something_i_wrote_to_calm_myself/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Fasting makes me depressed and angry
/u/kitten664 [5'7" | CW 144.2| -11 | F | GW:110]
Created: Wed Sep 27 20:16:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72x5hg/fasting_makes_me_depressed_and_angry/
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So I've been fasting all day, I don't eat while I'm at work unless it's an apple or orange and just drink coffee all day and don't eat dinner if my mom doesn't make me. ( She gets so caught up in work that she forgets I haven't eaten) but I'm regressing back into my depression and anger and idk how to stop it. I'm down 10lbs since I've started restriction and I don't want to stop any time soon but I don't know how to get over this irritability.
And I know it comes from not eating because I've always been irritable without food.
Any tips?
[Discussion] stopping really loud stomach growling?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18 | 22F]
Created: Wed Sep 27 19:40:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72wygd/stopping_really_loud_stomach_growling/
---
i'm a student, and when i restrict heavily i notice that my stomach growls extremely loudly in silent lecture halls. honestly, i'm not even sure how much is noticeable to other people, but it's definitely audible. how do you guys stop your stomachs from growling really loudly when you're restricting or fasting?
[Rant/Rave] Choosing maintenance is really, really hard.
/u/thinismygame [5'6.5" | 132 | F | 22]
Created: Wed Sep 27 19:36:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72wxo6/choosing_maintenance_is_really_really_hard/
---
Just need to rant.
I'm 129 lbs as of today. A healthy weight, yes, but restriction has done horrible things. Not at my goal weight but my hair is thinning, my heart rate keeps lowering, and I can barely sleep because all I think about is how many calories I should be burning. I don't want to lose my hair. So vain that this is my breaking point, I know. I just started taking biotin but I don't want this.
The scariest part is how difficult this is. I always felt like I'd be able to just..be normal but I don't want to be. I have had a handful of binges since may 10. The constant restriction is just awful. I ate 957 calories today and feel so horrible. I'm increasing to 1200 tomorrow and it's just killing me inside. I feel so sad that I'm doing this. I can't believe how hard it is to eat more but I feel like this is what I should do because I'm scared I'll like stroke out or be bald.
I'm trying to be ~healthy~ and am starting lifting and increasing protein with 1200/day but feel like I'm just trying to switch my obsession to something else food/body related because I can't just stop completely. I just want to be thin but I'm going to aim for skinny fit for the time being with weightlifting or whatever. This really sucks. At least I won't have super negative side effects physically but I'm not ready for the emotional mess I'll be with this increase.
Thank you all for listening/reading. Wish me luck. <3
[Tip] If you love apples..
/u/midwesthoe- [5'1| 105 | 19.8 |20F|]
Created: Wed Sep 27 19:28:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72ww5k/if_you_love_apples/
---
I’m addicted to apples and anything made with apples. Lately I’ve been just cutting apples into thin slices and sautéing them in a pan with water and cinnamon and nutmeg and it honestly tastes like apple pie without all of the nasty calories
[Help] Please someone convince me to throw away my food
/u/appletr335
Created: Wed Sep 27 19:17:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72wtw7/please_someone_convince_me_to_throw_away_my_food/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] "You're more recovered than her."
/u/letmebelittle [5'7" | CW: 125 lbs | BMI: 19.6 | WL: 84 lbs | Female]
Created: Wed Sep 27 19:12:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72wsvy/youre_more_recovered_than_her/
---
I just really need to vent right now, sorry if this isn't allowed or something.
I told my girlfriend about my ED a while ago, and she doesn't know how to handle it any better than I do, so we don't really talk about it (probably my fault because I get really defensive). But tonight we were skyping and she was telling me about her friend who she believes is starving herself (I don't know if I believe it or not but thay doesn't really matter). She was telling me how she was eating today and how proud she was of her, and then asked me whether or not she should say anything to her. So I told her that she probably shouldn't say anything quite yet because that can be triggering, but it's good she's noticing a difference. Then she said something like "you're more recovered than she is so I'm glad I have you to get advice from" and I wanted to off myself right then and there.
I'm not recovered. I've eaten under 500 calories a day for the past who-knows-how-many weeks and have started purging recently. I over-exercise and am overall just hopelessly unhealthy. But I'm still so fat that the person I spend the most time with and sees me the most vulnerable can't even tell I'm doing anything. She knows I eat next to nothing and she STILL doesn't think I have any issues anymore. UGH.
I'M LIVID. I WANT TO STARVE UNTIL THERE IS NOTHING LEFT. UGHHH.
[Rant/Rave] A ruined treat & sick to my stomach
/u/thefreckledfox_ [5'8" | 166.6lbs | 25.06 | -52.4lbs | F | GW: dainty]
Created: Wed Sep 27 19:04:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72wrbm/a_ruined_treat_sick_to_my_stomach/
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Classic story but I've been doing *so well* lately, not heavy restricting but sticking to my calorie goals while still eating normally in front of my SO. Tonight he's at work so for dinner I decided it would be nice to have two shortbread cookies my mom got me from a local bakery with a cup of tea.
Well, joke's on me, because I almost finished the second cookie and found a hair in it. :/ I spat the rest of the cookie out, but now I feel so sick and disgusted with myself. I was already working *so hard* not to feel guilty about eating two cookies and now the evil ED part of my brain is like "hahahaha, I told you you were disgusting" and my stomach is queasy and rolling. I wish I could purge. :(
[Other] that feeling when youre nearing the end of a binge and psyching yourself up to purge
/u/pricklypear72
Created: Wed Sep 27 18:52:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72wotj/that_feeling_when_youre_nearing_the_end_of_a/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] tried recovery
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 27 18:48:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72wo2q/tried_recovery/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Binge free for 20 days
/u/sadfatgirl- [5'7 | obese | gw120]
Created: Wed Sep 27 18:24:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72wj61/binge_free_for_20_days/
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So its been 20 days as of this hour since my last binge, which was over 6000 calories. I have been restricting pretty well getting lower and lower in calories each day. I'm down to 600 now and I am trying to do some more intense cardio each day (so fat still so thats difficult).
I still have urges to binge all the time. I'll walk through the kitchen and without thinking pull out some food. It's like I'm on autopilot. Whatever. I always stop myself and usually just go to my bedroom which I keep 100% food free.
What can you do to keep cravings off...
One of these days I know I'm gonna cave...
on mobile but this made me laugh
/u/powergoth [5'5" | 147.8 | 24.59 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 27 18:08:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72wfv7/on_mobile_but_this_made_me_laugh/
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https://imgur.com/UnZ4hSZ
[Goal] Lost 5lbs in two days after being discharged from IP!
/u/lunamoon1 [165.5cm | cw: 112lbs | lw: 93lbs |19f]
Created: Wed Sep 27 18:08:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72wft1/lost_5lbs_in_two_days_after_being_discharged_from/
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I was discharged from IP at 117lbs. As you can imagine I was pretty bloated from the 2500 calorie diet I was eating but from the day I got discharged I started restricting and already lost 5lbs and was 112lbs on the scale yesterday! Because my parents don’t have a clue about calories also; I’m getting away with eating salads, low cal fish(because they see alot on my plate, they think I’m getting enough calories lol), and hiding all the carby shit they’re giving me. I love that I’m starting to feel light and pure again💕
[Rant/Rave] ATTENTION ALL CANADIANS
/u/mimidudette [5'8" | CW: 140 | -27 | HW: 172 | GW: 125 | 20F]
Created: Wed Sep 27 17:30:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72w7zc/attention_all_canadians/
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https://i.redd.it/9d3d8vcyfioz.jpg
[Help] Does anyone know if your body digests food while you're sleeping?
/u/Rubywednesdayyy [5'3 | CW: 139.4 | GW: 117 | 23F]
Created: Wed Sep 27 17:12:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72w45f/does_anyone_know_if_your_body_digests_food_while/
---
I always save my calories until night time... actually I try to wait as long as possible before eating because I know when I start, I won't be able to stop. Normally I try to go to bed right after eating so that I don't eat anymore... but my question is; will my body digest that food while I'm sleeping or does it just sit like a lump in my stomach until I wake up? TBH I always have a terrible stomach ache when I wake up so I'm guessing it just sits there in my stomach all night while I'm sleeping... ughhh. Now I'm all paranoid... do I count those as the next days calories??? I normally go by a weekly calorie limit as well so I guess it all evens out.... I'm hoping anyway 🤞🏼
[Other] Oh dear Jizus
/u/Arkhamgel [5'8| | 143 | 15 lbs | Male]
Created: Wed Sep 27 17:08:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72w3c7/oh_dear_jizus/
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TW I guess for sh.
Tonight my class had a "get to know each other" party, it was a casual meet up with beer, gin and whisky, on the grass next to The Invalide Museum, so a nice setup for a nice evening.
At one point, this (very drunk) girl starts crying, saying she will not make herself sick because it reminds her of a bad time in her life.
Being the curious piece of shit I am, i got closer, took her a bit farther from the crowd so she could sober up a little bit, and we talked. YEAH WE DID, and boy is she triggering. (I mean, If were trying to recover that would be a problem, so i'm not complaining there) She told me she was anorexic-bulimic and how she misses how she used to count her ribs without sucking in, that she self-harms, and well, a bunch of other stuff she wouldn't have told me sober.
Here's where I become a horrible person : I actually caught myself thinking about finding her at lunch everyday so I wouldn't have to answer to any weird glances when I have a single diet coke instead of a full fat cafeteria kebab plate.
please beat me up dudes, I deserve it ?
[Rant/Rave] Feeling a High from fasting 23/1 💜
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Wed Sep 27 17:03:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72w2c5/feeling_a_high_from_fasting_231/
---
I just started fasting 23/1. Today is my 4th day and I have this happy high feeling, very euphoric and calm. Never have I experienced this.
This is pure control. Can't have that muffin, it's not the hour...etc. restriction has been so hard with eating small things throughout the day. Now I can feel free to eat at night. I've only been drinking water and an overestimated 100 cals of milk with my multiple ☕️ a day.
It's weird I don't feel hungry.... just excited for my 1 hour meal, I'm aiming between 800-1200 each day. Then the fun part starts! A whole meal and awesome snack at night!
I plan this till Oct. 31st, finally feeling positive and back in control.
Edit: maybe a little counter productive, but I'm allowing myself free range of favorite goodies on Halloween 👻 so something to look forward too!!!🖤
[Thinspo] chest bones 🌺
/u/squishykiss
Created: Wed Sep 27 16:51:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72vzp2/chest_bones/
---
https://i.redd.it/5mktdzn49ioz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Bad news bears
/u/gayishfish
Created: Wed Sep 27 16:24:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72vttw/bad_news_bears/
---
Today marks my 1 full week of near fasting every day! As of yesterday, I've lost a total of 7 lbs in that time (I haven't checked today yet). I have a loooong way to go so i plan on keeping this up for a while. I've been going the entire day without food until dinner time. At dinner time, i might have up to a cup of food, but some days I've just skipped it all together.
Can i just say how EXHILARATING this is!! I feel so good! I love the light-headedness, the slight weakness, the fat slowly but surely leaving my body! I feel more alive! I feel ridiculous for saying that, but i cant help it. Its like all my senses are heightened, an amazing natural high.
So bad news bears, my coworker commented on how i never eat anything. Now I am forced to eat something at work to alleviate suspicion. I do NOT need her all up in my shit about this... I found a way around this though. If i put vegetable broth in a ceramic mug with a lid, i can heat it in the microwave and tell her I am having soup! In fact, I pulled that trick for lunch today. But then something weird happened. My lightheadedness went away and I felt full and bloated. And it sent me spiraling into a panic attack. Did i eat?! Why did i stop feeling light and floaty? The logical part of my brain reminded me that there is hardly any calories in vegetable broth but i cant figure out why my body reacted like i ate something...
I think I might skip dinner tonight to make up for it. Idk. I felt immediately bad about having the vegetable broth. Like BAD bad.
Sorry for this ridiculous rant! I just needed to tell somebody. 😩
[Other] Tea Recommendations?
/u/coffeebean27
Created: Wed Sep 27 16:21:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72vt4o/tea_recommendations/
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I've been wanting to stop getting my Iced Coffee bc they are high in calories and it's getting pricey. Instead I want to try iced teas. I prefer naturally sweet teas so I don't have to add anything. My favorite right now is unsweetened Black tea.
I've been eating a lot (~1200 calories) and not purging it so I've been feeling fat. I got my wisdom teeth pulled out so that's why. I'm thinking of having a rule where I only eat at dinner and have a small breakfast but mostly drink tea all day to keep my stomach shut. I'm starting to feel the weight piling up and I hate it.
[Discussion] Tea Recommendations?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 27 16:20:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72vssx/tea_recommendations/
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[deleted]
[Other] Freshly cut grass
/u/Potatokitten82
Created: Wed Sep 27 16:10:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72vqkw/freshly_cut_grass/
---
Today I was parked outside the school waiting to pick up my son. I had the windows down. The sun was shining and there was a light breeze. I could smell freshly cut grass. I thought to myself "what a nice day".
Then ED chimes in: "How many calories are in grass?"
I wonder what it is like to be normal?
P.S. MyFitnessPal says lemongrass is 66 cal for 1 cup, and wheat grass fresh squeezed is 7 cal for 2 oz, but no listing for yard clippings.
[Rant/Rave] I'm back...I think.
/u/FlabbyWhiteThighs [5'4" | 118.4 lb | 20.72 | F22]
Created: Wed Sep 27 15:43:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72vke5/im_backi_think/
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When I was 15/16, I had an eating disorder. I restricted heavily for months, going from 108 down to 89, my lowest. There was no diagnosis, no intervention. I decided to recover on my own without any help from my family or from professionals. It was harder than it needed to be and turned into a binge eating disorder at first, but I've been completely recovered for a few years, weighing in at 120-125.
Now I'm 22. Three months ago, I started exercising regularly again for the first time in about a year, and I've already shed off almost 7 pounds just by tracking what I eat on MyFitnessPal and biking everywhere in addition to the other exercise I do. I’ve had an off week here and there where I’m not necessarily in a binge cycle, but I just can’t control myself enough to count calories. But for the first time in my life, I’m actually losing weight by exercising and not restricting. To be fair, when I’m counting calories I’m still not eating enough (1000-1300 calories a day, but NEVER below 1000).
Then I found /r/proED and /r/proEDmemes. And for some reason, it’s just so motivating to immerse myself into that world again. It feels wrong because I’ve been recovered – I mean, loving myself and my body, never thinking about calories or pounds at all, COMPLETELY recovered – for so long. And I’m a grown-ass adult, I’m married, I’m not a teenager anymore. It feels so selfish; I should be happy to be normal now.
But last night I went to the movies with my husband and he wanted In-N-Out afterwards. He asked me twice if I wanted anything before he ordered, and offered me fries several times, but I refused. So I sat in the passenger’s seat while the smell of a double-double animal style filled the entire car…and I stayed strong for the rest of the night. I’m starting to remember how food never tastes as good as you imagine it does when you crave it. And it was so easy. I woke up this morning and weighed in at the lowest I’ve been in 2017 so far.
I want to be really careful. I remember how dangerous it can get, and I remember how at 89 pounds, starving my brain made me so fucking irrational about food. I want to stick with what I’m doing, and just try eating between 1000-1200 calories each day. But then again, I’m already thinking about possibilities and making my goal weight lower and lower. Right now, I just want to get back down and maintain. I hardly really binge anymore and I want to keep it that way by not restricting lower than 1000. I really hope I can pull this off.
[Other] Intro
/u/minyoongirs
Created: Wed Sep 27 15:24:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72vg9n/intro/
---
[removed]
[Help] Thinking about going on birth control.. for those that take the pills, did yours make you gain weight or feel hungrier? If I'm already anxious, is the pill a bad idea?
/u/pedaling-backwards [5'2 | 104 | 20F]
Created: Wed Sep 27 15:12:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72vdkx/thinking_about_going_on_birth_control_for_those/
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I've been looking into BC options for a couple of weeks after having a scare with a broken condom, and I've decided that if I were going to try *any* method, it'd be the pill (my first choice would've been the copper IUD, but I'm too insecure about having the doctor insert it.. a little immature, I know, but whatever). However, I've been reading up on all of the major and generic BC pill brands, and it seems like many of them cause mood swings and weight gain for a lot of people.. I'm trying to break a binge cycle/learn how to maintain right now, so if the pill is just going to make me an (even more) anxious hungry wreck, it might not be the best time to start them.
For those that take it/have taken it, which brand are you on and do you recommend it? Did it make you hungrier or make you gain anything?
And for those that have done any other method (Depo, implant, patch, etc.), how did those work for you?
I'm asking in this sub since I know a lot of us who have taken/wanted to take BC probably were extra conscious about the weight gain aspect, so I'm figuring your answers might be more helpful. Thanks :)
[Rant/Rave] I'm really scared
/u/peculiar1t
Created: Wed Sep 27 15:08:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72vcn9/im_really_scared/
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I recently decided to recover from anorexia. By myself. And I've been doing just that. I started eating normally, lots of protein, fat, fruit etc. I started going to the gym to get some muscle. I'm 1.75m and I started at 44kg. Yesterday I weighed 49.3kg. I don't mind the number on the scale. But the fat on my stomach is making me hate myself so much. I first developed anorexia because I wanted to lose weight and the fat rolls on my stomach. I now have them back and I can't look at myself. It pains me to look in the mirror. And I know it's actual fat and not bloat because it jiggles and I can hold it in my hands. Please, if anyone here has been through recovery, please I beg you to tell me if this is normal. Is gaining actual fat all in my stomach a normal part of this recovery? This pouch sticks out so much and according to bmi I need to weigh at least 53kg. So, please be honest and tell me, is this normal? I'm really desperate for the truth.
Edit: Thank you so much everyone for responding. You have no idea how much it helped me to have someone confirm this information. I read so much about weight distribution in recovery but I really needed someone to actually tell me to relax. It's a huge relief for me and it helps me so much to continue to try to get better. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
[Rant/Rave] Revenge fasting? EDs? Pettiness? I'll take all three, thanks.
/u/nevaho
Created: Wed Sep 27 14:37:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72v4zp/revenge_fasting_eds_pettiness_ill_take_all_three/
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DAE?
Apparently my BF's ex has been stalking my social media, and actively texting the BF (unrelated stuff). Out of a sudden she listens to the same bands, likes the same videos and follows the same accounts everywhere. This is not just me being paranoid, since I'm into some pretty...obscure stuff. That, plus she's confessed to my boyfriend that she never got over him.
I try not to compete with other women, but holy shit the pettiness:). I have this mental image where she scrolls through my instagram page and gets more jealous with every photo of my skinny legs. It's not even like I feel threatened because I know for a fact that this is the man I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. This is just me being a little bitch and reveling in her misfortune.
I feel so bad but oh my god. My motivation to get to my GW asap is insane.
[Help] Math question
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 27 14:29:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72v36j/math_question/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Does anyone use a time lock for vices?
/u/letstryforkarma
Created: Wed Sep 27 14:20:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72v10h/does_anyone_use_a_time_lock_for_vices/
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I've been debating if it is worth it. But after my latest binge, i think it is.
I'm getting essentially a box that has a lid with a timer on it. I mean, part of me wishes i could simply develope self control, but i don't think that's proving possible.
The lock box is marketed as a safe for snack food, but i think i will use it for any vices. Electronics, weed, etc. I might even get more than one down the road if i think it's working fir me... If the timed box isn't big enough to fit everything, then you can buy cheaper boxes at the department store and throw it's key into the timed box.
I'm disappointed that i feel the need for such an elaborate scheme to prevent vice abuse, but i need to get over any pride i have for not wanting to use a psychological strategy to overcome my issues.
[Help] I have absolutely no butt and it's making me really insecure, but I'm too weak to do strength training... help?
/u/jjfmish [5'6 | GW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Wed Sep 27 13:54:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72uuhx/i_have_absolutely_no_butt_and_its_making_me/
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To preface, I'm in the healthy weight range and still far from underweight. I don't even want to end up in the underweight range, just at the low end of healthy. I'm also a 'recovering' binge eater and have lost 15lbs in the 6 weeks or so, bringing me from borderline overweight to the middle of the healthy range. I restrict on 800-1000 calories a day and only go above on days that I drink (from alcohol calories).
I love all the changes I'm seeing in my body, but one thing that I'm growing increasingly insecure about is my completely flat butt. It would look fine if I was small everywhere, but I have really big boobs and I just look so top heavy and weird. I've never had a nice butt, but it looked a little less weird when my thighs were bigger and waist was larger.
Is there any way to grow my butt a little without upping my calories? Or should I just wait until I reach my goal weight, then start eating at maintenance and strength training?
[Goal] Was having the shittiest day and then I stepped on the scale and 😍
/u/damnitimtoast [5'3"| CW 124lbs | BMI 22 | -12 lbs | GW 110 lbs | 23F]
Created: Wed Sep 27 12:32:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72uadb/was_having_the_shittiest_day_and_then_i_stepped/
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http://imgur.com/SL0dTr0
Planned a mighty wonderful, just lovely binge tonight...
/u/Ofca0
Created: Wed Sep 27 12:30:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72u9qq/planned_a_mighty_wonderful_just_lovely_binge/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] I'm obsessed with how gorgeous Zhenyang Zhang is.
/u/itszwee [5'3"| SW 176.X lbs | CW 155.2 lbs | UGW 115 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Sep 27 12:16:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72u651/im_obsessed_with_how_gorgeous_zhenyang_zhang_is/
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https://i.redd.it/fqvcl6cwvgoz.jpg
[Other] I've lost over 200 pounds.
/u/timetofadeaway [5'2 | CW scaredlikeamouse | LW 91 | GW1 110 | UGW 90 | F21]
Created: Wed Sep 27 11:50:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72tzlg/ive_lost_over_200_pounds/
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In the last 5 years...
I added up my numerous fluctuations and while constantly cycling from a 'normal' BMI to underweight, to overweight back down to 'normal' again I have lost and gained more weight than your average rugby player.
I bet many of you can relate. I find it depressing and hilarious at the same time.
Bottoms up to the next 200!
[Other] Burn them all !
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 27 11:49:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72tzea/burn_them_all/
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https://i.redd.it/j3l0xmy8rgoz.jpg
I’m so fucking bored
/u/saltfruit [6'2" | 188 | M]
Created: Wed Sep 27 11:33:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72tvht/im_so_fucking_bored/
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[removed]
[Help] College friend might have ed?
/u/acswana7
Created: Wed Sep 27 11:18:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72trn0/college_friend_might_have_ed/
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Someone I met at college and have many classes with might have an ed? I'm not too sure but she would never eat at lunch with everyone else, even going as far as to give me her lunch money when I was super poor and wanted a drink. She showed me a picture of her when she was 'fat' (literally 100x smaller than me) and then it kind of clicked with me. Shes much smaller than me, but I think she may have some kind of ed. She wears nice dresses and skirts and looks beautiful compared to me, I kind of want to open up to her, without making it weird? I'm worried if I try to open up I'll just be completely wrong and look stupid.
Has anyone else been in this situation? How did you open up to people who you thought have an ed?
I can't ignore it, I keep binging because I see how great she looks and I think if she knew about my ed we could help eachother out? Or at least support eachother. I dunno I'm kind of ranting rn
[Thinspo] Athletic Thinspo <3 [Edyn Mackney]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 27 10:28:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72tfbf/athletic_thinspo_3_edyn_mackney/
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https://i.redd.it/hmugzdwscgoz.jpg
[Discussion] Does anyone have moments of clarity?
/u/trying97 [CW 129 | GW 110]
Created: Wed Sep 27 10:19:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72td09/does_anyone_have_moments_of_clarity/
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I was walking to class today, and I looked at myself in a dark window as I was passing, and all of ask sudden I was like- my god, I actually am getting kind of thin. It was surreal, it was like my body wasn't mine but I could finally see what everyone else was telling me. It was so different than what I usually see myself as. I'm sure it's gone by now but does anyone else have moments where their body dysmorphia lifts briefly?
[Discussion] what weird rules do you impose on yourself?
/u/disbeetch [5'3'' | 130 | 23.0 | -38 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 27 09:47:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72t4xn/what_weird_rules_do_you_impose_on_yourself/
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i'm talking about besides safe foods and stuff- like i am only allowed to eat dinner if i work out that day.
[Rant/Rave] I've been eating so fucking much lately
/u/jeanisdead [5'2.5" | 98lbs]
Created: Wed Sep 27 09:09:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72svp0/ive_been_eating_so_fucking_much_lately/
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I haven't been a calorie counter in quite some time, and I like it that way. More peace of mind, I focus on nutrition and low carb more than anything else really. This is positive and all, but holy fuck I got my period on Monday and I'm eating insane amounts. I also go to the gym regularly and I think that contributes to the rampant appetite.
I'm scared to get on the scale. When I say a lot of food, I'm talking like two or three cups of frozen berries with a half cup of sunflower seeds, an entire container of hummus or spinach dip and veggies, huge salads. I'm probably putting away around 2k calories per day. For the most part, I've maintained around 105 throughout all this food consumption, but there's definitely more muscle and fat going on. I think it's time for a high protein cut before I hit the dreaded 110 mark if I'm not there already. I'm gonna weigh after my period is done or probably today to scare myself straight. I fear chub. I fear "average build". But at this point in my life, I also fear looking too thin and shapeless. I see a lot of naked ladies at my job. Super thin isn't appealing anymore. Especially the older I get. I'm terrified of having a bony back that just turns into two deflated butt cheeks that turn into weak, shapeless legs.
Anyway, rambling. Gonna try not to be a healthy food binge eater the rest of the week. That is all.
[Thinspo] You guys, Mathilde Froustey has violin hips!!
/u/enfinseul [5'6 | 112.2 | 18.18 | gw👻 | f]
Created: Wed Sep 27 08:41:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72sp10/you_guys_mathilde_froustey_has_violin_hips/
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https://imgur.com/a/PCFd1
[Discussion] How much do you cut your calories by on days that you drink?
/u/jjfmish [5'6 | GW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Wed Sep 27 08:03:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72sghm/how_much_do_you_cut_your_calories_by_on_days_that/
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[removed]
[Goal] This might not mean much to seasoned fasting veterans, but I’m proud of myself for this. :)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 27 08:01:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72sg15/this_might_not_mean_much_to_seasoned_fasting/
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https://i.redd.it/ti42wiykmfoz.jpg
I'm back (hopefully)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 27 07:35:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72sad4/im_back_hopefully/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Eating lot's but small p**ps?
/u/none_intended
Created: Wed Sep 27 07:00:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72s39r/eating_lots_but_small_pps/
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I've eating a lot the past two days but they were high in fibre (vegetables taken with lot's of water), yet I pass the smallest pebbles? My stomach is quite bloated and gassy but that's all I can manage? Anyone else experience this? Any way to fix it?
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! September 27, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Sep 27 06:11:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72ru28/daily_food_diary_september_27_2017/
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This is a daily food diary thread for September 27, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday September 27, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Sep 27 06:11:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72rtxo/way_to_go_wednesday_september_27_2017/
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This is the weekly achievement thread for September 27, 2017.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Rant/Rave] Comments from strangers make me feel validated
/u/SpitAndPennyStyle [5'2" |SW:185lbs | CW: 144lbs *drinks bleach*| GW:100 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 27 05:58:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72rrop/comments_from_strangers_make_me_feel_validated/
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I just wanted to share these two short anecdotes because I feel very positive about them and I've been bashing my head against the wall over my current plateau. I met this former model the other day. At one point we were talking about her career and she mentioned used to be a size 00. I think she's a size 0-2 now but I thought it'd be rude to ask. So I shared how I used to be obese and she was really surprised because apparently there's a look to people who lost a lot of weight and I didn't have that. She also called me pretty which meant a lot because she's *stunning*. (and she's just an inch shorter than me so she's now my irl thinspo anywho) In a separate incident, I was on my way back from the gym and one of the guys who works there complimented me for working hard. I'm nowhere near where I want to be but these comments made me feel really good knowing people notice my accomplishments and hard work.
[Other] fasting vs. starving mode
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 27 05:41:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72roq8/fasting_vs_starving_mode/
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https://i.redd.it/t0yu89yjxeoz.jpg
[Discussion] September 27th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 27 05:14:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72rkg2/september_27th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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Do you handle rejection well?
[Rant/Rave] Impossible weight gain is making me wish I were dead
/u/throwawayjyyyyy34530
Created: Wed Sep 27 04:46:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72rg46/impossible_weight_gain_is_making_me_wish_i_were/
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I know no one here will have the answers, but I'm so distressed right now I just want to get this out there and maybe someone has experienced something similar. Probably not. My situation is a strange one. I'm 153 cm and until recently thought I weighed close to 37.5 kg. I overexercise compulsively and have been getting 40,000+ steps every day since spring. So, I've always thought my TDEE was somewhere around 2000, which even then is a modest estimate.
I never used to track my weight very rigorously, but I decided that this month I would give it a try. I know in the past I've lost when eating under 2000 calories. This month I've been eating an average of 1650-1750 calories a day, putting me at about a -300 daily deficit. I've had some higher days, some lower, and only one day that exceeded my TDEE (by 1500). So that averages to about 1.8 pounds lost ([[300*26]-1500]/3500) using the 3500kcal-to-a-pound rule. At the beginning of the month I weighed around 37.8 kg. By the eleventh I was down to 37.3, then it went up again, then 37.3 on the 21st, and then I had one day +1500 over my supposed TDEE and my weight has just been going up since. Yesterday it was 38.3 and today 38.6 and I'm so stressed I don't know why this is happening. I'm so upset I just don't even have an appetite today.
Maintaining my weight would be stressful enough but then to be GAINING on top of it. I'm so distraught. I do so much exercise, but I have for a long time so I'm not gaining muscle or anything like that, I know for sure. It's like what's the point of all this exercise and even eating at all if the scale is going to keep going up and up and up. I want to throw up. I can't stop crying.
I'm such a firm believer in CICO and I've always meticulously weighed and tracked every bite that goes into my mouth, spare the odd cup of black coffee. I don't want to believe it's even metabolically possible to be gaining on this amount. It couldn't be. But I also can't go to a doctor because my appearance is so blatantly anorexic they would suspect an overactive rather than underactive thyroid. Which I doubt is the case anyway. This weight gain is not realistic. I haven't had my period since I was a teenager so I doubt it's hormonal, and I still have regular BMs.
I can't deal. Ican'tIcan'tIcan't. Why is this happening, why now. I'm ruined. I just wish I would die. I was just hoping to have a more stable intake and now everything has blown up in my face.
[Rant/Rave] A very long sob story about being unmotivated
/u/thegarden-lady
Created: Wed Sep 27 03:20:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72r44i/a_very_long_sob_story_about_being_unmotivated/
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I've had this horrible relationship with food & self image & weight since I was really young in grade school. That's a long time to hate yourself. I was probably almost overweight until I was 12 when I started working out in my room & skipping meals. I couldn't see the progress I had made in my weight loss & how well I kept off my weight throughout high school until I looked back through photos now.
Now I'm 20 & at my highest weight ever. I don't own a scale because I'm trying to convince myself that I'm not going to do all this again, but I'm here so obviously there goes that. Anyway, I'm probably around 160lbs with my goal weigh being about 125lbs. That would be a healthy weight for someone of my height too, but just almost underweight. What I used to weigh.
I don't have the determination that I once had to workout. I live with my SO & I feel ashamed working out with them home. I can't go more than a few hours without eating. I work at a health food store & all day I stare at the thinnest of bodies, coming in to buy their vegan/sugar free/few calorie foods that I would never eat. I feel so awful about myself. I tried on an old pair of pants & they were about 2 inches away from buttoning. I had to pretend I was in the bathroom so I could cry in privacy over it; I almost had a panic attack!! I can't believe I'm not doing anything about this. I can practically FEEL myself growing ounce by ounce & yet I'm still just stuffing my face?
The main difference between what I'm doing now & what I used to do is I do not work out anymore but I do walk several miles a week still & I eat at least one meal+ & some snacks a day now when before I could get by on so much less. I also drink a soda about every other day now which I hardly ever did before.
My whole family is overweight & I'm afraid that this is the beginning of me becoming like them. Where the fuck is my willpower? I see these posts where people have fasted for days on end or are doing insane workout routines or follow strict diets with no problems & I just don't get why I'm not able to push myself to do that anymore. I can't even stick to a (I'm really sorry if this offends anyone) normal diet.
TL;DR- I miss my undiagnosed eating disorder & really wish it would make a comeback but I just can't get motivated enough :( no meanspo or anything like that please, I've got my own brain for that. Thanks for reading
[Help] Night Eating
/u/Zombeedee [5'9 | shameful | -28 | female]
Created: Wed Sep 27 02:46:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72qzod/night_eating/
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(I dont know how to flair on mobile, I'm sorry)
I'm really struggling with night eating. It is ruining my progress.
Daily I go to the gym for three hours. Caffeine and vitamins. I save all my calories for the evening as even before any particular goal or lifestyle change I've never been one for eating in the day. I feel sick if I eat before noon.
Anyway, busy all day, intermittent fasting. Around 5pm I'll have a HUGE salad. No more than 300 calories but I will spend them well. To the point where I get so full I can't finish it. Usually have a protein bar or ball for dessert, with some fruit and green tea, maybe some crackers or nuts. My calorie limit is 800 and I dont top it. Log my calories. Shower, pyjamas, chill with some gaming or a show. Feel fantastic and accomplished. Will do some crunches and stretches and toning exercises before really settling down.
9pm hits. and suddenly I'm a beast. If there is anything nearby I will eat it WHETHER I LIKE IT OR NOT.
How do you guys survive night cravings? I don't know why my willpower is so shit in the evenings. I know obviously the hunger comes from my low intake and high exercise. But I just can't resist like I can during the day. A couple years ago I could just fine. 800 cals a day easy, no night eating.
I've tried some things. Eating later, going for a walk when the cravings hit, sleeping pills, hobbies, drinking water or diet soda, hot bath, brushing teeth....nothing helps.
Any tips?
[Rant/Rave] Unfortunately my ED followed me halfway across the world
/u/vkomova [5'11 | ugh | ugh | ugh | F]
Created: Wed Sep 27 01:35:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72qqu3/unfortunately_my_ed_followed_me_halfway_across/
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I'm studying abroad this semester, I've been here less than a month and I already feel like I'm spiraling out of control. I don't really want to recover but I don't want to be sick either. It was fine to feel that way when my issues were relatively better, but it just keeps getting worse and I don't know what to do.
Yesterday I went to the store to buy food. I wandered around for about half an hour, taking things off the shelves and then going to put them back after reconsidering. And then I got overwhelmed and left without buying anything. I feel so anxious on so many levels, in terms of social interactions and my body/food. I also am not great at speaking the language, so that definitely makes my social anxiety a lot worse. And people can tell I'm foreign the second I open my mouth, if not before then because of how I look or am dressed sometimes.
I just felt like everyone was looking at me, scrutinizing me. I felt that way at home too, but here it's 10x worse because people actually do have a reason to think I stick out, because I do. And the local girls here are all really beautiful, thin, stylish, and well put-together in general. It's a lot to deal with at once.
And today I skipped class for the second time in the 3 weeks I've been here so far because I didn't do the homework last night because I was too busy trying not to faint and my head was too foggy to focus on anything anyway. I'm so disappointed in myself.
I really don't know what to do. This semester has been pretty much the only thing I've been looking forward to in probably a year. And I'm ruining it because I won't just fucking EAT. I feel pathetic but having an ED and being at a normal weight and/or eating a normal amount of food feels equally pathetic, so I feel like I just cannot win here.
[Rant/Rave] New high for b/ping today
/u/loseitjen [5'8" | CW: 135 | GW: 125| F 21]
Created: Tue Sep 26 23:00:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72q4il/new_high_for_bping_today/
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So I usually purge maybe once a day and that's usually not even after a "binge" per se but after a meal I feel guilty about. But today I immediately started my day by binging on peanuts , then buying wings and garlic bread and eating a lot of that. Puked that up. Then continued binging on more peanuts, finally decided to just throw the bag away lol. But then I just found more little snacks, nothing too high calorie and kept eating those despite not even being hungry!!! Purged two additional times. Like this is so unusual for me I'm hoping this was a rare occurrence and I'll be better tomorrow because this lack of self control makes me feel awful. Not to mention I'm dealing with a cold/sinus tension and have been feeling bad about myself this whole week anyway. Ugh
[Rant/Rave] I don't think I'm going to have the energy for Homecoming
/u/plantbasedpumpkin
Created: Tue Sep 26 22:58:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72q47s/i_dont_think_im_going_to_have_the_energy_for/
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Okay so right now I'm eating anywhere from 500-1000 calories a day, depending on the day. I have atypical anorexia, so nobody is really worried about me and I have nobody to talk to about this. Lately I've lost all my energy, I'm getting headaches, random pains, I'm dizzy, and I have hypotension. The homecoming dance is on Saturday and I'm afraid I'll pass out while jumping around/dancing. It's happened twice before and I really just want to have fun. UGH.
I've been trying to eat 1,000+ lately to save some energy but I get so down on myself and angry whenever I go about 800.
This eating disorder really sucks, and I hope someday soon I get the courage to do something about it.
[Rant/Rave] i'm a failure
/u/lowkeydeadinside [5'6" | cw: 125 | ugw: 98 | 17F | 🍑: starvingprincess]
Created: Tue Sep 26 22:48:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72q2jk/im_a_failure/
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so i was doing really well over a month ago. then i moved to a different state. the city i'm in has all these amazing vegan options and i've never really had access to this much vegan food so i've been binging for a month. i've literally gained 15 pounds. i'm in a long distance relationship and i won't be seeing my bf for like eight months and i'm terrified of gaining this much weight consistently before i finally see him again. i need to get back to where i was at least and hopefully lower so i can be super sexy when we're finally together again but i'm such a failure i just know it won't happen. i hate it here. i've been stress eating cause new school my senior year and of course there's so many vegan options that i just eat even more.
[Rant/Rave] I think I have IBS...
/u/calmlyranting [5'5 | Fluctuating | F]
Created: Tue Sep 26 22:46:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72q2a5/i_think_i_have_ibs/
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Even when I was restricting I had a huge bloat that would not go away. I was mostly eating cauliflower and cabbage. Now I realize I was and am eating foods that irritate IBS. Now I'm kind of wondering what I can eat to stay satiated and not irritate my digestive system. I hate this bloat. I feel like I'll be eating mostly cucumber and egg whites from here on out. Too bad I'm not sure if I can stop eating crap that causes this ugly shit. Or eating crap in general, because "recovery" made me a fatty.
[Help] Anyone got any tips to keep your stomach from growling? It’s super embarrassing when my stomach makes a noise like a dying bear in class lol(i’m a junior in HS). I usually end up eating alot just to make it stop but I always go overboard bc i’m the biggest introvert and noise kills me. Help!
/u/seiiten
Created: Tue Sep 26 22:23:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72pyhm/anyone_got_any_tips_to_keep_your_stomach_from/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I hate cycles
/u/mapvi [5'4 | CW: 136.8ish | LW: 124.4 | GW1: 132 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 26 22:11:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72pwe4/i_hate_cycles/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Huge frame :(
/u/posyposer [5'4 | 128 | 22.0 | -45 | f]
Created: Tue Sep 26 22:08:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72pvuw/huge_frame/
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[removed]
[Discussion] What is your favorite thinspo movies or a tv shows to watch?
/u/gayishfish
Created: Tue Sep 26 21:31:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72ppg9/what_is_your_favorite_thinspo_movies_or_a_tv/
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My favorite actresses are Emma Watson, Kristen Stewart, and Krysten Ritter so i like to watch things with them in it. Lately, I've watched Jessica Jones. I just can't get over her thin legs! When I watch thinspo, it keeps me from binging for a couple hours. So I would love to hear any thoughts or suggestions! :)
[Rant/Rave] Calling all business-y people!!
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 161.8 | GW:118 | -4 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 26 20:54:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72piqb/calling_all_businessy_people/
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Okay so I work in IT, but not the kind where you can kick back in jeans and a t-shirt and code shit. I'm in the kind where you have to wear slacks and look like a grown-up. Part of my job involves occasionally going to client sites for all day meetings. It's usually a full 4-5 days of 9-5 meetings. What does that mean?
We go out to lunch. Or we have lunch brought in (usually pasta and sandwichs. cheesus help me). We go out to dinner. People pass out free high calorie snacks. I can't just sit there and not eat, it looks weird, especially when we're all at a restaurant. It happened today and I just wanted to scream "can we just skip anxiety (aka lunch) hour and keep working so we can go home early?!"
Newp. No we could not. Nor can we tomorrow or the day after. At least I can fast Friday to Saturday without any questions (heyyyyy Yom Kippur, how you doin???) /end rant 🙄🙄🙄
[Other] I don't know how to feel about this. Being skinny is the only thing that keeps me going. Like it will solve all my problems and make me happy.
/u/-novaterra- [174cm | 60Kg | i wanna be 58 again :( |]
Created: Tue Sep 26 19:57:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72p7f4/i_dont_know_how_to_feel_about_this_being_skinny/
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https://imgur.com/a/kiBXh
[Other] When they say you have to gain weight in recovery
/u/dietvalleydew
Created: Tue Sep 26 19:42:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72p4bg/when_they_say_you_have_to_gain_weight_in_recovery/
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https://i.redd.it/8sj96cwnyboz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Boy I like unintentionally triggered a restriction and I'm not mad about it
/u/Jtgonc [5'8 | CW : 166]
Created: Tue Sep 26 19:03:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72owkt/boy_i_like_unintentionally_triggered_a/
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So I woke up late today and so didn't eat till 12:45. I went to my college dining hall and got an acai bowl and a small iced almond milk latte (350 cal total?), and then saw the boy i like sitting alone doing work. I sat with him for about 20 minutes and then went to class from 1:30-4:15 and then did work in the library until 7:30 pm, and didn't eat during any of those times. The boy I like saw me in the lib and asked if I wanted to grab dinner with him and his friend so the three of us went. All I got was a plain chicken breast w/ side of honey mustard and side of beets&lentil salad thing.
I'm still kinda hungry so I'll have a snack in a bit but it was nice having the prospect of running into my crush to keep me from eating, kind of like a distraction and i didn't want to feel bloated.Then I got a small dinner cause I obviously wanted to seem slim in front of him
[Rant/Rave] I just consumed over 800 calories of ginger ale.
/u/fragilmountain [5'7 | 238 | 36 | GW: 110]
Created: Tue Sep 26 19:01:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72ow3k/i_just_consumed_over_800_calories_of_ginger_ale/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Spent binge money on nose piercing
/u/applesforhungry
Created: Tue Sep 26 18:45:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72ospy/spent_binge_money_on_nose_piercing/
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just moved to uni and determined to get down to my goal weight by christmas so starting to restrict really well. Mum sent me money for food this morning and I was planning to go to this place that sells American cereals and sweets which I love but passed a piercing shop on the way and instead got a cool new piercing, haven't eaten since and don't have any food here so no temptations yay
[Tip] I suffered from AN in high school. I had a baby recently and went up to the disgusting number of 155. I would like to be 105 minimum. Any tips?
/u/luarose
Created: Tue Sep 26 18:18:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72onam/i_suffered_from_an_in_high_school_i_had_a_baby/
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[removed]
[Help] Excersize
/u/_NoNameNecessary_ [5'3" | CW 131lb | GW 100lb | BMI 23 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 26 17:46:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72ogck/excersize/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Does anyone else hate afternoons?
/u/NewEnglandAutumn [5'8 | 120.8 | BMI 18.2 | GW 111]
Created: Tue Sep 26 17:12:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72o9ew/does_anyone_else_hate_afternoons/
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I absolutely hate them. Besides the fact that they make me feel sad and melancholy, from around 3-5 I’m at my most sluggish, exhausted state so I’m always having my most immense cravings then. And of course that time is right smack in the middle between lunch time and dinner. Plus I have activities from 6-8 usually in the evening and can’t have a regular dinner schedule. I *always* end up eating way earlier, and then when dinner comes I’ll have some light fruit or soup. I wish I was a normal person who could just eat lunch at 12-1 then have a light snack then eat dinner at 7-8.
[Rant/Rave] I randomly stopped binging and I have no idea why, or how to keep from doing it again
/u/jjfmish [5'6 | GW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Tue Sep 26 17:09:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72o8rv/i_randomly_stopped_binging_and_i_have_no_idea_why/
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I've been stuck in a constant binge/restrict cycle for years now, losing and gaining the same 10 pounds over and over. For some reason, as soon as I got back to college this year it was like a switch in my brain flipped and I've been restricting on around 1000 calories a day pretty easily and haven't had a single binge. I've lost at least 10lbs in under a month, probably more since I haven't weighed myself since last Friday. It's not just weight either - none of my pants fit anymore, and people are noticing. I've lost over 2 inches off my waist, and I'm actually kind of ok with my body for the first time in so long.
The problem is, I have no idea why this change happened so suddenly. The only thing I can think of is that I have much less free time now that I'm back at college, but I'm a sophomore and last year was the worst for me in terms of binging. I'm so scared that I'll wake up one morning and lose control around food again, and gain everything back and more
[Help] Hiding Lanugo
/u/Jangan-Menangis
Created: Tue Sep 26 16:40:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72o2fl/hiding_lanugo/
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I’m in anorexia recovery and just reached the “average” bmi for my height and age (feels pretty shitty, hah.)and for some reason I just expected the downy hair to kind of just fall off as I recovered, but unsurprisingly it hasn’t. If I were to use nair on it, would it grow back even though I’m at a healthy BMI?
I can’t be arsed covering my arms and back in nair if it’s just going to come back honestly.
I’m sick of covering it up with long sleeved t shirts. I want to be able to show my arms.
[Help] |Help/Advice| Does my estimate for this meal seem correct?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 26 16:16:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72nx3l/helpadvice_does_my_estimate_for_this_meal_seem/
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http://imgur.com/YGB5VCn
[Intro] I'm Back
/u/fatestpoet [5'4" | CW: 130 | GW: 83 | 23 | M]
Created: Tue Sep 26 15:33:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72nn7h/im_back/
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I recovered, sort of unintentionally. I graduated high school in 2016 and I was 103 pounds - I was only 20 pounds away from my goal! And then I didn't go to college for an entire year, working instead. I worked a full time and a part time job at the same time. And I just ate when I was hungry and I ate what was available and I ballooned back up. I didn't think a thing of it until I moved to college. I'm about a month in now and I realized today, or over the past week, how fat I've gotten, how disgusting I am. I was going to not eat today, but I had pizza. All of my old habits are flooding back - I couldn't throw the pizza up but I did gag a lot in the bathroom and overproduced saliva - I'm getting there completely by my body's own reactions to food.
I wish I could say I was repulsed or scared, but I'm so happy. I'm so happy to be back to being controlled by this spectre of ED. I WANT to be small, I need to be a skeleton, and now my mother isn't even here to yell at me if I don't eat in a day. Yom Kippur is soon and that, if nothing else, will help get me back on track. I'm back because I don't not want my ED to return full-force. I'm back because I'm embracing it with open, desperate, fat arms. So. Welcome back to me, welcome to my new secret account - I believe I deleted the old one. I can't wait to see myself wither away to a gorgeous skeleton.
[Thinspo] From an ad for Glamour magazine. I love her arms!
/u/GetToTheStore
Created: Tue Sep 26 15:07:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72ngz2/from_an_ad_for_glamour_magazine_i_love_her_arms/
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https://i.redd.it/vb7b8tenlaoz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] butt boneeee (coccyx)
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 19bmi | -140 | 30F | AU]
Created: Tue Sep 26 14:30:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72n7l3/butt_boneeee_coccyx/
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I'm not feeling or seeing significant drops in weight this or last week and then suddenly things will start to hurt, first with my hipbones protruding into my bed, then my ribcage, now as of recently my coccyx, my ass, fucking hurts sitting on hard surfaces.
I used to be like, the one with the proudly white girl big ass but now suddenly its gone. I guess even without losing weight if anything 2lbs, My fat has redistributed and went from there elsewhere? It seems to always happen like this,
never like, woosh, then theres a bunch of bones. anyway sorry for the rant just sitting here butthurt ahah
[Discussion] Restriction has made it so I can barely stomach a meal when I do eat... Anyone else experience this?
/u/happyplantlover [5'8 | CW:120lbs | GW: 112lbs | -19 lbs | F20]
Created: Tue Sep 26 14:10:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72n2ts/restriction_has_made_it_so_i_can_barely_stomach_a/
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This is something I have really been struggling with...
I restrict hard everyday. Like I literally have days where all I eat/drink is coffee and unsalted, unbuttered popcorn (4-5 cups). Usually Friday and Saturdays my restriction rules are more relaxed so that I can drink with friends/eat real food with my boyfriend. It was easy to do this drastic weekend switch when I first started restricting, but now that 2 months of this habit have passed, I literally get full after 1 APPLE. I try to keep eating but it feels as if I will throw up. My boyfriend doesn't know about my insane restriction but he has mentioned (2 nights ago) that he is concerned because he has "watched me visibly lose weight"
To make matters worse, I am so stressed from uni and that also contributes to my loss of appetite. My flair isn't even accurate anymore, I have lost 6 pounds from 121. I just want to be able to eat normal on Friday's, restrict during weekdays, and not feel like I am gonna explode when I transition between the two. Does anyone else experience this?
[Rant/Rave] Chose a big fat grapefruit instead of ice cream.
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Tue Sep 26 14:04:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72n1b6/chose_a_big_fat_grapefruit_instead_of_ice_cream/
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Right after opening the tub of ice cream, I took a scoop of it to have a taste. I've quit sugar for some weeks now and it must've gone out of my system entirely because the taste of ice cream (and I mean ice cream in its whole majesty, not diet ice cream) just didn't do anything for me.
It just tasted like... cold, soft sugar..
It's not that I put an effort to stop a potential binge, I just closed the lid, put it back in the freezer, noticed a grapefruit on the table and thought back to that scene in the movie Black Swan
The ballerina's breakfast was half a grapefruit. To make it less awkward for her and her mother who served it, she said 'Mmmm, so pink and pretty' or something among the lines of that.
So I took my pink, pretty grapefruit, cut it in two halves, took a *teaspoon* (not tablespoon, as I had taken for the ice cream) and had my pink, pretty snack.
Yee :) If you want advice on quitting sugar (and flour), I have small cheats that helped me get results (lost 1,5kg so far) that I'm more than willing to share :D
[Help] Best low carb pumpkin spice coffee dupe/recipe?
/u/orbitingmanatee
Created: Tue Sep 26 13:11:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72mnvk/best_low_carb_pumpkin_spice_coffee_duperecipe/
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Sorry, not entirely sure if I'm in the right place to ask but y'all seem like wizards with your food dupes so I thought I could ask...?
I need to channel my inner basic yt girl and get some PSL in me. I've tried cold brew with almond milk and jordan's skinny pumpkin spice syrup. It does cut the edge (less than 50 kcal, yesss) but it doesn't feel creamy enough...? Bite the bullet and put hwc in it? ~~and promptly fast the rest of the day~~
[Other] Saw this quote on the front page of Reddit.
/u/invincibletitan33 [5'4.5 | 52kg | F]
Created: Tue Sep 26 12:58:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72mki3/saw_this_quote_on_the_front_page_of_reddit/
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https://i.redd.it/maakbeiec6oz.jpg
[Other] I'm sad
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 26 12:55:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72mjnq/im_sad/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] 🌸 stunning
/u/squishykiss
Created: Tue Sep 26 12:44:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72mh33/stunning/
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https://i.redd.it/xtq98r47w9oz.jpg
[Thinspo] Taylor Momsen's body is unreal
/u/itszwee [5'3"| SW 176.X lbs | CW 155.2 lbs | UGW 115 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Sep 26 12:43:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72mgvs/taylor_momsens_body_is_unreal/
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https://i.redd.it/712hf5dyv9oz.jpg
[Tip] Pro-Tip: Store packaged food with the nutrition label side facing towards you
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | CW 117.0 | GW 108 | 20.5 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 26 12:37:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72mf9o/protip_store_packaged_food_with_the_nutrition/
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If I open up the pantry and the first thing I see are deliciously photoshopped pictures of crackers or cereal, I'm much more likely to overeat. But you can't ignore the facts if they're staring right at you.
[Discussion] I cannot purge
/u/Slickspider
Created: Tue Sep 26 11:51:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72m3na/i_cannot_purge/
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Anyone else the same? I feel like such a failure, even though i know it is a good thing...
[Help] What bf% calculators do yous use?
/u/noidea744 [5'3| CW 115 | BMI 20|F]
Created: Tue Sep 26 11:35:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72lzp3/what_bf_calculators_do_yous_use/
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I'm sorry for Posting so much but I'm freaking out a bit tonight and trying to figure things out is the only thing preventing me from being a crying, hyperventilating, binging mess. I can't be that right now. I've tried like 6 and each one gave a slightly different answer or something that made me unsure how reliable it is.
I need to make a watch or something wearable that constantly calculates weight, body fat % Or mass, calories burned, calories consumed and gives a lovely notification every time you lose a pound. I have no idea how I'd do it, but it's essential
[Rant/Rave] 10 days post partum...
/u/Foraging_Health_Nut
Created: Tue Sep 26 11:15:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72lueq/10_days_post_partum/
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...And I stepped on the scale for the first time since I think around New Years, a week or so after getting a positive confirmation conception was successful.
I had been doing "better" ed wise and was maintaining at around 140/145 for a while, (my body loves to stay there, ugh) then gained like 5-10lbs before we got pregnant for whatever reason, and was over 150. Not ok.
Now 10 days after giving birth I'm 5-10lbs over that.
160lbs at 5'7". Agh.
I have no idea exactly how much I weighed at the end, I meant to check but got distracted laboring and all, but I'm guessing I probably dropped 15 since the birth from baby/placenta/fluid (she was 7lbs 1oz). I haven't been peeing like crazy so I don't think I dropped tons of fluid, but I never really got puffy. Everyone said I looked like I still had a couple months to go, and I didn't get as huge as I guess a lot of pregnant women get.
I'm thankfully not super ravenous or eating tons so hopefully exclusively breastfeeding might have me way lower than my high pre-pregnancy weight soon! And my supply is great, so I'm not having to eat lots to keep it up. I think 80% of my diet right now is coconut water.
[Discussion] How do yous judge how you look to other people?
/u/noidea744 [5'3| CW 115 | BMI 20|F]
Created: Tue Sep 26 10:07:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72ld9v/how_do_yous_judge_how_you_look_to_other_people/
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I've tried those weird body visualizers but they are all animated and the one that shows actual people with the same stats just don't seem reliable or I can't see bits well enough to decide.
It's driving me nuts. It's my hips and stomach that bother me most but pictures of people with the same stats look totally different to me ( I know body dismorphia but still) I just want to know how I look to other people
[Other] How do yous all judge how you look to other people?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 26 10:03:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72lchu/how_do_yous_all_judge_how_you_look_to_other_people/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] The BEST Thing About Intermittent Fasting (NOT FAT LOSS) - Autophagy and Fasting
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 26 09:54:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72l9wz/the_best_thing_about_intermittent_fasting_not_fat/
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https://youtu.be/_2kW_trv8J4
[Rant/Rave] I need to get this off my chest, having a particularly rough day.
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 113.6 | UGW: 102lbs | Peach: LobsterMacNCheese]
Created: Tue Sep 26 09:48:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72l8m2/i_need_to_get_this_off_my_chest_having_a/
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3 weeks ago I glanced over at my boyfriends phone. He was on Instagram and I caught him looking at one of the models he follows. I didn't say anything, as a matter of fact I was a little relieved that she looked A LOT like me, just a little taller and thinner (and thankfully fully clothed).
I was like, "cool, this is gonna motivate the fuck out of me to get down to my GW", and then I proceeded to starve and workout a little too rigorously and put myself at zero energy by the third day (literally had to call into work because I couldn't get out of bed). So then I over compensated by eating more than I needed to while working out, then not eating a lot and cutting out working out, and then trying to do a little bit of both, then back to starving, then back to eating, then back to exercising. Wash, rinse, repeat. I'm so done, I feel like I've fucking tried everything and I'm right back at the same exact weight I was when I saw that Instagram picture three. weeks. ago.
I think about that model everyday now, I've seen other glimpses of her throughout these past weeks from casually glancing over at his phone and now it's just depressing the fuck out of me (I'm not creeping or anything, we sit really close together on the couch and play on our phones. Normal stuff). I feel like such a failure that I haven't been able to make progress, regardless of the fact that I've been working my ass off for it (then proceeding to ruin all my progress on the weekends).
I'm too sad and unmotivated to exercise now. I mean... I'm gonna push myself. I'm gonna push myself a lot. Hopefully I know my limits now but I have to get this done. That means back to purging, laxatives and EC stacks. I need to be thin for him, I need to be thin for me. =(
[Discussion] Only Gatorade for a Week?
/u/pr3tty_vacant
Created: Tue Sep 26 09:34:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72l53z/only_gatorade_for_a_week/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Does anybody here also have anxieties and/or depression?
/u/girlinschool
Created: Tue Sep 26 09:23:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72l2im/does_anybody_here_also_have_anxieties_andor/
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I have severe anxieties, which of course is linked to my depression. All of which was caused by my body image issues. If I was more attractive and if I am at the weight that I want to be, I don't think I'd have 90% of the issues that I have right now.
I really don't feel (mentally) well right now. Not suicidal, just want to be wrapped in my blanket and stay there until I lose all the weight.
[Rant/Rave] There's no one I envy more than my 'naturally thin' friend
/u/jjfmish [5'6 | GW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Tue Sep 26 08:00:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72kimk/theres_no_one_i_envy_more_than_my_naturally_thin/
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My best friend is absolutely gorgeous - kinda looks like a mix of Naomi Campbell and Aaliyah. She's also one of the only naturally thin people I know. She's maybe 115 lbs at 5'6, wears size 25 jeans (only because she has a nice butt, her waist is definitely 24). I've always been envious of her, but I've been restricting pretty heavily lately and it's made me realize just how *jealous* I really am.
Now, I know she's not some magical metabolic outlier. She's thin because, although she eats like crap and doesn't exercise, she has a small appetite, often forgets to eat and is a generally active person. I don't wish for her metabolism, but I do wish for her relationship with food. I want to eat the way I want without binging on 5000 calories, feeling guilty over eating a normal person's snack, or having every thought revolve around food and my body. I want to maintain a low(ish) weight without tracking every single thing I put in my mouth, stressing over every food choice and restricting under 900 calories a day because fast visual progress is the only thing that keeps me from binging. I want to be carefree around food, but I just can't imagine that ever being a reality.
[Thinspo] Sofia Ritchie's waist is so perfect!
/u/dietvalleydew
Created: Tue Sep 26 07:54:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72khcv/sofia_ritchies_waist_is_so_perfect/
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https://i.redd.it/qcfrh31cg8oz.jpg
[Help] Ephedrine and Australia.
/u/A_Sly_Fox [172cm | 65kg | 21 | 15kg | F]
Created: Tue Sep 26 07:33:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72kcrj/ephedrine_and_australia/
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Hey everyone (especially you guys from Australia), I'm after some advice! I always see ephedrine/bronkaid mentioned here. Neither is legal or available in Australia. Does anyone know an appetite suppressant that actually works well over here?! Thank you all in advance ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
[Goal] I want to fast until this weekend so I look good for my date
/u/helpima_klepto
Created: Tue Sep 26 07:29:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72kbxh/i_want_to_fast_until_this_weekend_so_i_look_good/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Is it ok to give up?
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Tue Sep 26 06:58:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72k5nz/is_it_ok_to_give_up/
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So I'm done. Vacation bloat still sticking around so uh yea let's call that fat. Every day last week I did was I supposed to do...eat. It hasn't improved but I get to deal with brain battles hours a day. I called a treatment center and well inpatient is my only option so screw that. I pushed through the weekend and ate more to get to maintenance as I'm supposed to do. I'm tired of doing what I'm supposed to do with no peace. My brain is worse the more I try to recover. I quit. Today I'm planning to fast. I usually eat 900 or so calories which is piddly compared to my TDEE but today it's going to be 50 - collagen peptides, beef liver capsules. I'm tired of others telling me what I'm supposed to do, they don't have to deal with the bloat, anxiety and general want to disappear. Please tell me I'm not alone.
[Discussion] "Ugly duckling syndrome"
/u/10299201
Created: Tue Sep 26 06:51:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72k4f8/ugly_duckling_syndrome/
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Sorry if this is kind of out of place, but it does relate to my issues with food I'm not really sure where else to talk about it. Also I'm a guy, but I suspect some girls struggle with this too.
So I used to feel really unattractive in high school. I was pretty depressed and so I really didn't pay attention to hygiene, grooming, my weight or how I dressed. People (girls and guys) would make fun of me a lot and frankly it was just a horrible time.
I'm in college now and I would say I've gotten better. I've learned how to dress better, smell good, take care of my skin, what kind of haircut and facial hair suits my face etc. I wouldn't say I'm *hot*, I'm just sort of average or maybe a little below average now. I've even started to get some attention from girls. Every time I fast or diet I end up binging so I haven't lost much weight, but because of the aforementioned stuff it's not so noticeable.
The issue is even though I know intellectually that it's not so bad anymore, I still *feel* really unattractive. I focus really hard on flaws (particularly any fat on my body, but also lack of muscle, blemishes etc). I'm afraid to get close to girls because I worry that they'll see the "real me" and be disgusted. I've practiced putting on a confident, secure persona so much that it's become automatic, but I'm crumbling to pieces inside.
Is anyone else dealing with this? Has anyone dealt with this in the past but gotten over it?
[Sticky] Self-care and Beauty Q+A September 26, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Sep 26 06:10:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72jwsc/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_september_26_2017/
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Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Self-care and beauty threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! September 26, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Sep 26 06:10:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72jwrl/daily_food_diary_september_26_2017/
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This is a daily food diary thread for September 26, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] September 26th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 26 05:32:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72jpue/september_26th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What was amusing about today?
[Discussion] Gaining weight on period
/u/amysweetpea [5'4 | SW191 | CW153 | GW112 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 26 04:41:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72ji9h/gaining_weight_on_period/
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Hi, I'm just wondering what you guys average weight gain around your period? I'm currently slightly overweight so I have a lot to lose, lost over 4lbs last week and almost gained it back (I didn't diet but didn't binge at all) since Saturday? I'm really freaking out right now, I just wanted to be thin for when I saw my boyfriend in a couple of weeks but now I'm scared I'll just look the same
I know I'm meant to flair this post but I don't know how on mobile
[Goal] Proud Moment
/u/jonkristopher
Created: Tue Sep 26 03:32:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72j8ph/proud_moment/
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So one of my biggest problems coming out of recovery years ago was that I learned how to eat..... and not stop!! I struggle with this all of the time and it has caused massive weight gain over the years.
Tonight I had a WONDERFUL moment. I began to binge on some left overs in the fridge. I just wanted the taste of the food in my mouth. I wanted to savor it forever. I KNEW I was going to eat EVERYTHING in the house after that. However, something stopped me. It's like my self control came back. The voice in my head that used to control everything I did came back.
Instead of bingeing, I chewed and spit my food. I enjoyed the flavor but didn't invest EVERYTHING.
This sounds like a step in the wrong direction for some and I'm not condoning that anybody take actions like this. I'm strictly speaking from my own path in life.
I would love to here everybody's success stories for the day. Not matter WHERE you are in your journey. Let's all celebrate together
[Help] when u can't maintain a romantic relationship with anyone and u have no friends, but at least you're losing weight 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
/u/kzxwy [5' 6" | CW: 129.0 | HW: 145.0 | GW: 115.0 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 26 03:30:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72j8i0/when_u_cant_maintain_a_romantic_relationship_with/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] [Male Thinspo] Olof Kallstrom [5 Images] [Holy Androgyny, Batman!]
/u/95CHOI [M20 / -230lbs / RNY Gone Haywire]
Created: Tue Sep 26 02:31:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72j0ti/male_thinspo_olof_kallstrom_5_images_holy/
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https://imgur.com/a/dLpIL
[Rant/Rave] lost
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 26 01:56:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72iwd0/lost/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] What do people think of this video?
/u/courtenaymersa95
Created: Tue Sep 26 01:12:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72iqls/what_do_people_think_of_this_video/
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https://youtu.be/eMVyZ6Ax-74
[Rant/Rave] I finally did it.
/u/mothmami
Created: Tue Sep 26 00:23:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72ijo4/i_finally_did_it/
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Well guys I finally unsubscribed to r/food and r/pizza. It was a big step for me since I love looking at all the yummy food posted, however it's a big binge trigger for me.
I'm currently at 140 lb, and hope to be at my goal 120 by the end of October. I know it's a far stretch but that's when my wedding is, and I can't look the way I do in my dress. I hope to took as perfect as I imagine on my wedding day, I cant give in to any temptations.
I'm already restricting to anywhere from 500 to 300 calories a day, and drinking plenty of soda water.
The worst thing about having an ED
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 25 23:41:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72ideh/the_worst_thing_about_having_an_ed/
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[removed]
[Discussion] I never feel full/done eating until I c/s
/u/iloveitosusumu [5'9 | CW160 | GW120 | BMI23.20 | 19F]
Created: Mon Sep 25 23:14:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72i97j/i_never_feel_fulldone_eating_until_i_cs/
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Chew & spit has become my nightly glass of wine, I _will_ binge if I don't do it and immediately after my spit cup reaches give or take a pint, I stop feeling hungry. I've tried just chewing my actual meals more, but it's not the same. It's always cheap, carby garbage and I don't feel bad about doing it, but I worry about my salivary glands and shit. I also used to be so scared of the "x% of calories will still be absorbed" thing but honestly,,,, it sounds like fear mongering and warped ED logic to me. I'm still dropping despite c/s-ing 600+ cals a night on top of the 1200 I genuinely eat, and my blood sugar has never spiked after doing it. Anybody else like this?
[Help] Little brother is showing early signs and I need some advice. Input from guys much appreciated too, please.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 25 22:53:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72i5t9/little_brother_is_showing_early_signs_and_i_need/
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[deleted]
[Thinspo] She's perfect 😍😍
/u/flightlesspotato [166cm | CW 57kg | UGW 48kg | 20F]
Created: Mon Sep 25 22:40:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72i3js/shes_perfect/
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https://i.redd.it/xliwrfxhp5oz.jpg
[Discussion] Most irrational ED thoughts
/u/throwgdjjbdyjj [5'6 /// 112 /// F ]
Created: Mon Sep 25 21:40:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72ht3n/most_irrational_ed_thoughts/
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This morning while putting on the Too Faced Cocoa Powder Bronzer "Can you absorb calories through your skin?"
[Other] Phrase I heard today...
/u/Lady_Anarchy [169cm | CW: 54kg | 18.91 | GW: 50kg | F]
Created: Mon Sep 25 21:18:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72hp0n/phrase_i_heard_today/
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So, I gained 3kg again, which has had me feeling like shit.
But then I was talking to a friend of mine, and she told me something that just stuck.
"Your **fat** is someone else's **skinny**"
It struck me, especially because just a few months back, my current weight would have made me very happy.
And what it made me reflect upon was how the cycle will never end, no matter what happens, no matter what goals are set. Because it's not about the objective reality of things, it's about the feeling of worthlessness which is only partially reflected in one's weight and shape.
It was never about achieving a goal. It's a journey of realisation of how hopeless everything ultimately is, and how nothing will ever be good enough.
And that is so sad actually. And we're all going through this same thing. All to find a great big nothing at the end of the rainbow...
[Help] Fasting Tips
/u/_NoNameNecessary_ [5'3" | CW 131lb | GW 100lb | BMI 23 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 25 21:17:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72hou8/fasting_tips/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE have a boyfriend/SO that literally doesn't understand food
/u/fitisthegoal
Created: Mon Sep 25 20:53:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72hkd5/dae_have_a_boyfriendso_that_literally_doesnt/
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My boyfriend is naturally very very slim (his arms are goals) and sometimes just naturally eats part of a meal all day. He knows I am actively losing weight and I'll tell him my pre planned days and it will be less than 900 calories and he will say 'that's great!' He's not insinuating I need to lose, he's just very supportive because he knows I'm so 'into it.' Obsessive could be more like it but I'll take it...
It kind of makes things so much easier.
[Other] Gonna fast for 15 hours tomorrow wish me luck!
/u/NewEnglandAutumn [5'8 | 120.8 | BMI 18.2 | GW 111]
Created: Mon Sep 25 20:36:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72hh0f/gonna_fast_for_15_hours_tomorrow_wish_me_luck/
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I know it doesn’t sound like a lot but I haven’t fasted forever. I’m saving my calories for nighttime and having only tea and gum throughout the day. I always want a huge breakfast but that just causes me to eat so much more throughout the day- so I’m doing a big hearty breakfast for dinner. 535 calories so like -600+ off my usual 1200. Egg white omelette, cheese and apple blintzes, strawberry cereal, almond. milk and oranges. What can I say I love food lol. I NEED LUCK IN THE MEANTIME THOUGH.
[Intro] Does it ever come off fast enough? Also, hi 😊
/u/livelikesinners
Created: Mon Sep 25 20:23:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72he8p/does_it_ever_come_off_fast_enough_also_hi/
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So I've been lurking for a couple weeks and just recently decided to make an alt account to post, would add stats but the only computers I have access to currently are my work computer and my boyfriends so.... you know what I mean. I guess for an intro I will say that I'm 22, female, and have struggled off and on with anorexia since I was around 13. I was still thin but started gaining weight around this time last year (15 pounds probably? I avoided the scale like the plague once I gained a bit from my LW so I'm not even totally sure where I was at when this all started😔) and I kind of just wallowed in my misery until a couple of months ago when I had a full blown relapse.
I tend to do mon-fri high restriction (sub 600 cals) and eat slightly below or at maintenance with the occasional binge on the weekends. I've lost a bit of weight but it's just not happening fast enough and I can't seem to find the mental strength to keep up my high restrict through the weekends to speed things up. It's making me go fucking. Insane.
I'm tired of feeling like a whale, I'm tired of starving myself and not seeing results because of my weekend fuckups. It just sucks. My boyfriend is an Olympic lifter and has his cheats on the weekends, which we always spend together and that definitely contributes to my binges. My friends always go out drinking and so I end up drinking a bunch of calories fairly often too.
I guess there's no real point to this post other than that as miserable as I am in general, I'm so happy so finally have people to actually talk to about this and I hope to start contributing to the community more with this new account.
[Rant/Rave] What is hungry anyway?
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Mon Sep 25 20:03:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72hab2/what_is_hungry_anyway/
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On mobile flair as rant rave.
So I didn't eat today but sort of just want to binge on food from work but I missed the gym this morning and I feel like I am just craving food. I never listen to my body when my stomach growls or makes noises more often than not i just binge out of being overly hungry from not eating but I don't even know what it's like to be hungry..
I am caught between either what I feel like is extreme hunger or binging i never think about eating sensibly a snack feel like a binge to me and I feel like I can't have a small amount and not feel good. I eat maybe once a day when I binge also convinced my body is just fucked up. My mind craves more than my body knows what to do with.
I have the mind of a morbidly obese person in the body of someone who perceived themselves as morbidly obese. Size 12. I might as well be confines to a bed. Kill me.
Willow.
[Discussion] No energy
/u/raz563
Created: Mon Sep 25 20:02:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72ha7u/no_energy/
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I love the feeling of waiting a long time between meals, but I need energy for my job. How do you guys get around this? Surely some of you have commitments in life, but still want to get skinny.
[Help] Fear to weigh yourself resulting in Weight Gain?
/u/eldariya [6'4 / 192cm | 156lbs / 70.7kg | 17.7 | -110 | M]
Created: Mon Sep 25 19:54:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72h8ji/fear_to_weigh_yourself_resulting_in_weight_gain/
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Right well, I weighed myself on the 12th of September and was kinda like meh could be worse but my issue is I have flucuated / yo-yo from 67.5-71kg LITERALLY for 5/6 months like holy shit. My TDEE is like 2300 because I'm so tall but my issue is I haven't weighed in 2 weeks and was planning to weigh on 12th of October but I've just not been able to restrict AT ALL, like I ate on average in the last week 2266 calories so that must be my maintenance weight but how can I limit my calories without going crazy, for the next 2 weeks at least as I'd like to be somewhere around 68-69kg by then but as I think I've gained quite a bit of weight I'm just hoping for the fucking best at this point.
So can anyone help me to not binge / overeat / what works for them?
[Thinspo] radiant 🌻
/u/squishykiss
Created: Mon Sep 25 19:28:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72h345/radiant/
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https://i.redd.it/c85vbtf8r4oz.jpg
[Thinspo] before/after ✨
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 25 19:27:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72h2xl/beforeafter/
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https://i.redd.it/b6nt5xy2r4oz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I didn't do it
/u/bananapeppr [161.3//5'3.5" | 49.6//109.4 | 19.5 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 25 18:11:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72gmwo/i_didnt_do_it/
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all day long I wanted nothing but to eat. I wanted to binge so bad. I'm home sick from work and all I thought about and looked at was food. But I didn't! I literally ate salt out of my hand to keep from binging. I drank 6 huge cups of tea. I stayed under my calorie limit. I won.
[Rant/Rave] Afraid of weighing myself tomorrow
/u/needsthoserockets [5'55 | 108 lb | BMI 18 | 21F]
Created: Mon Sep 25 17:59:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72gk88/afraid_of_weighing_myself_tomorrow/
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Just a little ranty share.
I haven't weighed myself in about eight days. I promised myself I would tomorrow (Tuesday morning).
Flair is incorrect. I'm 22 and maintained around 112 for about 10 months. In April I gained through stress-eating of life events and being a general bingey motherfucker. I have been 118-120 ish since then. I keep doing well with intermittent fasting alllll week then binging on the weekend. It's terrible.
Last week my bf left again for another bout of long distance relationship. I had a couple small binges in reaction - and in reaction to eating "nornally" while he was here, once I start I can't stop.
Was on business trip and then sick this weekend. It's so silly but the difference between 116 ish and 120 ish makes a huge difference, even when I know there's water weight.
Ugh I can't stop worrying about this.
Thanks for reading.
[Thinspo] My alternative thinspo: Yolandi Visser
/u/Wisdomtoothinquiry
Created: Mon Sep 25 17:40:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72ggco/my_alternative_thinspo_yolandi_visser/
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https://imgur.com/dXiGcMo
[Discussion] Maintenance?
/u/Soybeansandsprouts [🍌5'5"|109|GW:105🍉]
Created: Mon Sep 25 17:18:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72gbfs/maintenance/
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Hello everyone. So I'm at my adult low right now and 'officially' underweight for the first time in 4 years. I'm 4 pounds away from my GW, which is where I told myself I would start maintaining. But what if I see 105 on the scale try to get to 100 cause it's "a nicer number." And if I get to 100, why not go down to double digits?
It's just- I've done this before. I know if I get too low, it won't be sustainable. I'll spiral out of control and start binging (3 weeks binge-free!!!) and restricting and end up gaining a whole bunch of weight just like last time.
I've recently had a wake up call. Last week I was hospitalized for a kidney infection and seriously thought that I was going to have to take a health leave from school. I was absolutely devastated. It felt like I was watching my life fall apart right before my eyes. It took me all week to recover and I couldn't do shit because my brain was just a throbbing fog of pain. I couldn't think straight and every time I tried to study, my head would pound and I'd have to nap. I'm sure the loss of appetite didn't help so this weekend I said fuck it, time to kick some ass. I ate close to 1000 calories Friday-Sunday and spent all day at the library. I finally feel caught up and back on track.
I realized that I'm going to have to eat more if I want to get better. today I ate 200 calories below maintenance and I didn't feel great about it, but I think I can do it. This time I won't spiral. This time I will know my limits.
So anyone have maintenance success stories? If you're trying it out, how is it going? How do you make sure you keep yourself where you want to be?
🌸 New Mod Face + Sub Updates! 🌸
/u/bir_die [🌸 5'8" | 114.8 | 17.27 | Maintaining | 23 Bird 🌸]
Created: Mon Sep 25 17:15:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72gb0m/new_mod_face_sub_updates/
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Hello all of my /r/proED beauties! 💕 birdie here to give you some sweet updates on what we've been doing to our lovely sub (which I hopefully didn't screw up as I have like 10% of an idea of what I'm doing).
*****
**First:** let's all give some 🎉🎉🎉 cheers and 💕💕💕 kokoros to /u/a_horse_says_weigh for being our newest member of the Mod Gang!!!!!!! So if you've got any questions or problems, you've got one more amazing person to hit up! 🤘🏻 three cheers for horses telling us to weigh ourselves!!!!! 🎉💕🎉💕
**Second:** We have decided to give thinspo its own sticky thread! It's taken the place of "Self-care and Beauty" on Tuesdays; but don't fret! Self-care questions are 100% welcome on our "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly bit. The knowledge will still flow! So if you've got any pretty things to share, please save it for Tuesday! Also big note: **the thinspo rules still apply**. This means: **No bonespo, no non-professional photography, no NSFW pictures of anyone underaged**. We're not aiming to glamorize or glorify our EDs- just have one, regular place for something some of us find enjoyable.
And since it's of short note, removal of thinspo posts not made in the thread will be put off for a few days until you guys get a handle on it.
**Lastly:** I'm gonna have a bit of a sit-down talk with you guys about low effort or meme/humor posts. With the creation of /r/proEDmemes (which is a hilarious and *too real* place so definitely check it out!), we'd love it if you'd take those types of posts there. Otherwise; we will remove the ones posted on /r/proED.
With low effort posts- I'll take a second to clarify how we judge them and what they *really* are. **Anything that is only a sentence or two and could be posted on twitter that does *not* spark discussion is low effort.** "but birdie," you say. "There's still short posts on the sub!" Well, small bab. That's where the "sparks discussion" standard kicks in. Generally anything that asks a question that is open-ended (i.e., not just a yes or no type of question; as in *not* a DAE question) is considered something that would spur some long replies.
I'd also personally like to recognize the influx of recovery-related posts. Perhaps I am being biased (I probably am as I am very full of myself); but I would like to point out that recovery *is* a large part and experience of having an eating disorder. As long as it isn't outright telling someone they need to or should recover- it's a post that 100% fits this subreddit. A few of us are working on a sister sub dedicated to recovery (and if you are interested and have any suggestions for what you'd like to see in one- feel free to contact any of the mods at /r/proEDrecovery); but even with that existing, it will not mean that recovery-related posts are disallowed.
*****
So I hope this all is exciting for you guys and clears some stuff up! As always; if you've got and questions or concerns, feel free to [message one of us mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED).
Keep being good humans! 💕
[Thinspo] Not sick enough (holding my breath in) - will probably delete
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 25 17:10:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72g9v2/not_sick_enough_holding_my_breath_in_will/
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https://i.redd.it/iz5dvtco24oz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Why is life so effortless for some people?
/u/Ladybeeortoise [5'6" | 112 |18.0 | GW: 105 | 34/F]
Created: Mon Sep 25 17:01:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72g7xi/why_is_life_so_effortless_for_some_people/
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Yeah- this will most likely be a pity party post but my emotions are all over the place and this is such a friendly community. So to start my mom hasn't seen me in a couple of months. I went home for my little brothers wedding and she kept making jabs about my weight "You need to eat more. Seriously eat a sandwich". That irritated me but it gets worse (or so it seems to me). My brother asked my sister to officiate the wedding and had roles for everyone in my family except me. I offered to do the makeup for the bride and bridal party as my gift (I'm broke af right now).
The evening of the Rehearsal dinner, my brother served food that I'm allergic to (certified wheat allergy- I must eat gluten and wheat free). There wasn't a single gluten-free item. In addition my younger sister is pregnant again. Her fiancé is a waste of space. They've been together 10 years on and off. They already have a 4 year old daughter that is the brattiest most spoiled child ever. It really upsets me because A) My ex husband and I tried for 3 years to conceive and it never happened. B) I now know that I cannot have children and it breaks my heart and C) My brother and his new wife will most likely announce their pregnancy and their children can all grow up together while I struggle to keep a roof over my head.
At the wedding, the food served was all full of gluten. Yet my mom and brother keep telling me to eat something. What was I supposed to eat?? Do they think food allergies are funny? Can't they see I'm not well? Why don't they even care ? Not a comment from him on the bride's makeup (other people said it looked great but no one from my family uttered a word.
Meanwhile, I've been fighting like hell to get full custody of my son. His stepmother is abusive to him. I found out that I don't qualify for legal aid services and I cannot afford an attorney. So my question is, why is life so easy for some? My sister and I both graduated from college. She landed an awesome internship that turned into a great job that pays really well. Meanwhile, I bust my ass only to be continually overlooked for promotions. Just stagnant. How come some people just glide through while so many struggle so hard with the day to day grind? Is this all there is?
Kind of an aimless rant but I'm so tired of it all. I'm depressed, lonely, in pain and nobody cares.
[Thinspo] My alternative thinspo: Yolandi Visser
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 25 16:53:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72g6ea/my_alternative_thinspo_yolandi_visser/
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https://imgur.com/y9XAJdX
[Rant/Rave] TFW you trounce your binge & land 13 cal under your daily limit for the first time in over a week!
/u/SlipMitts [172cm | BMI: Sirenian | GW: 130 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 25 16:06:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72fvik/tfw_you_trounce_your_binge_land_13_cal_under_your/
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https://imgur.com/rfM10Wy
[Rant/Rave] Recovery stories
/u/toadally-grody [174.5cm / 47.3 / 15.2 / maintaining / F]
Created: Mon Sep 25 15:38:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72fpob/recovery_stories/
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I had a really hard doctor's appointment today and started crying. She has taken a far kinder approach than she had done in previous sessions, however. I said I wasn't sure how or when or why I'd ever manage to get over things and get better and she started telling me about women she'd watched recover and the milestones that they had made.
She told me about a girl that had come into child services aged 12 and has been under my doctors service (18+) for another 6 years, so 12 total. She's gone from BMI 14.5 up to 18 and is back at work.
She also told me about another lady who had had a baby after 4 years of no periods because she'd regained enough.
She told me about a lady who never spent a penny on herself (a common accompaniment to anorexia) getting taxis to parties just because.
She said that all these women had made her believe there was no such thing as a no-hoper and that I should have the same faith in myself. She said all anorexics feared that they'd be unable to stop eating/gaining weight but that it simply didn't work like that.
I felt inspired when I left and just thought I'd share.
[Discussion] Scale Trust Issues
/u/13959470 [5'4" | 109.4 | 18.8 | ~30 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 25 15:23:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72fm31/scale_trust_issues/
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Can anyone attest to the accuracy/inaccuracy of the Weight Watchers (Conair brand) digital glass scale?
I went 2+ wild months without a scale until Today and now I'm really doubting that I could have only gained 4 lbs.
Feel free to use this thread to get your unrelated scale anxiety off your chest too idc
[Help] Vegans of /r/proed, what do you normally eat?
/u/pedaling-backwards [5'2 | 104 | 20F]
Created: Mon Sep 25 15:02:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72fgyr/vegans_of_rproed_what_do_you_normally_eat/
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I'm a newbie vegan after being vegetarian for a year, and I'm not sure if it's just because school has started and I'm more stressed lately but it seems like ever since I converted to veganism I'm binging a *lot* more. When I was vegetarian, a lot of my diet consisted of Greek Yogurt, Protein Pancakes, Quest Bars, Halo Top, and Arctic Zero... not exactly healthy, but really satiating and low-cal (but none of them being vegan).
I'm more of a sweet-tooth eater than a savory eater, so I'm naturally gravitating towards carby vegan foods (oatmeal, bagels, pasta) and it's leaving me really hungry after each meal. I really want to stick with veganism but if I'm going to keep binging every other day I don't know if I can stick it out for the sake of my body's health...
What are some of your favorite vegan foods that actually keep you full and satiated? Preferably protein-based. Orrr, what is a typical food day like for you? Thanks for any suggestions. :)
[Discussion] what groceries do you buy? here’s the “haul” from my first trip! (peep my carbs)
/u/bumblers [5'8"| 125.3 | -20 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 25 14:58:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72fg2t/what_groceries_do_you_buy_heres_the_haul_from_my/
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https://i.redd.it/mzeyohx7f3oz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Today is my birthday
/u/daughterofpolonius [5'6 | 155 | 25 | -95 | F/27]
Created: Mon Sep 25 14:44:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72fcox/today_is_my_birthday/
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In the past year, I've done several fasts ranging in length from 1-3 days, 4-5 days, and more recently, 27 days.
I've cried over the scale dozens of times, aggressively counted calories, and restricted to below 500 calories at least a couple days every single week.
And I've also binged like I was dying.
I'm only 10 pounds lighter than I was last year 🙃
Happy birthday to me, and also to my ED! You're a true friend, you literally never leave 😣
[Discussion] Anyone done a liquid diet?
/u/luxklepto
Created: Mon Sep 25 14:29:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72f8wl/anyone_done_a_liquid_diet/
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I've been doing an all-liquid diet, like only drinking paleo protein shakes and maximum vibrance green superfood drinks. I feel like it is pretty healthy. I'll drink enough to be at 800 calories. I've been doing this for the past 6 days, and I don't feel tired at all, my skin looks healthier, and in general, I don't get cravings. Has anyone done this for an extended period of time? What were your results? I'm considering doing this for longer or adding protein bars.
[Help] How do you stop feeling nauseous when you haven't eaten in a while?
/u/NeverLowEnough
Created: Mon Sep 25 12:38:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72ehab/how_do_you_stop_feeling_nauseous_when_you_havent/
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I don't know if it's hunger but I think it is. When I haven't eaten in a little while I get these awful waves of nausea. Most of the time I cave and eat just to make it go away. I have no idea what's causing this or how to stop it without eating more than a few calories.
Help...
[Discussion] (YouTube - BBC Doc) Diabulimia: The World's Most Dangerous Eating Disorder
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | 26F]
Created: Mon Sep 25 12:32:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72efrv/youtube_bbc_doc_diabulimia_the_worlds_most/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSLjM6cZaTo
[Help] I need meal ideas!
/u/slpprywhnwett
Created: Mon Sep 25 12:30:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72ef49/i_need_meal_ideas/
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Going grocery shopping tomorrow. What are some of your go to meals that keep you away from a binge?
[Intro] Unique newbie to the sub!
/u/smallmadscientist [5'2" | SW: 160 | CW: 138 | -22 | GW: 110 | F 23]
Created: Mon Sep 25 12:12:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72eaqc/unique_newbie_to_the_sub/
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[removed]
[Other] Two different types of ED binges
/u/CassTheUltimateBA [5'10 | 140.2 | 20.1 | 85 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 25 12:07:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72e9fp/two_different_types_of_ed_binges/
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https://i.redd.it/x4auinqkk2oz.jpg
[Other] I've tried MANY different things like this to suppress my appetite, but literally none of them did anything. I bought this from GNC a couple of days ago, it's a little pricey but it is incredible. I don't feel hungry at all, plus It's stimulant free so I'm able to sleep at night without eating!
/u/AquaMarineLife
Created: Mon Sep 25 12:02:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72e859/ive_tried_many_different_things_like_this_to/
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https://i.redd.it/vpul1y3lj2oz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I'm actually scared
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 93lbs | BMI 17 | 20F]
Created: Mon Sep 25 11:37:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72e1x2/im_actually_scared/
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My ED is just so out of control.
I can't get myself to eat over 700 calories without needing to purge. I can't eat at maintenance even when I try. I've tried to increase my intake but I end up just running it off or purging it. I went from 100 lbs to 93 lbs in a month. If I keep this up, I'll be down to 86 lbs by the end of October, which genuinely scares the shit out of me.
My adult low weight is 91 lbs, so I'm just about to hit that. I genuinely can't stop and this is happening faster than it's ever happened before.
My hair is falling out so much that there's starting to be a visible difference. I have random bruises all over my body. I'm weak.
I'm scared but I also don't want to gain weight. I wish I could maintain but I can't even get myself to do that. Fuck.
I don't know if anyone has ever tried anything like this, but it's incredible. I've bought so many of these "appetite suppressants" and they've all been bullshit. This one works, like for real. I don't feel hungry at all, it's stimulant free so I can sleep at night too. I bought it at GNC.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 25 11:19:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72dxbi/i_dont_know_if_anyone_has_ever_tried_anything/
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https://i.redd.it/agniben0c2oz.jpg
[Discussion] Anyone chew gum between meals or to avoid going over daily calories?
/u/Jen1013 [Height 5'11"| CW 187| BMI 26.1 | Weight Lost ]
Created: Mon Sep 25 11:06:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72dtyt/anyone_chew_gum_between_meals_or_to_avoid_going/
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I can chew a whole pack throughout the day. It saved me more than a few times.
[Thinspo] tallspo ✨
/u/squishykiss
Created: Mon Sep 25 11:00:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72ds99/tallspo/
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https://i.redd.it/z8hnyw1m82oz.jpg
[Help] Bad injury, huge panic - heeeelp 😞
/u/FastPhoria [5'10 | 122 | 17.5 / 17.0 | GW: 119 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 25 10:57:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72drne/bad_injury_huge_panic_heeeelp/
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In advance, thank you to anyone reading this ♥️ I am freaking out and I can't talk to anyone about it irl because of Obligatory ED Secrecy and Fear.
So I am a long distance runner. Obsessive exercise is probably THE most important element of my ED as it lets me keep my net calorie intake low low low, while still eating a satisfying amount. I usually run at least 40 miles per week, which is about 4000cal.
On Saturday I partially tore my Achilles' tendon, saw a doctor today and whilst it is not terrible (shouldn't need surgery), I have to be on crutches for at least a couple of weeks and absolutely no running for 8-12 weeks.
Oh god help me what do I do? Is there anything I can do to burn calories that doesn't require an entire leg? I can't think of anything... I can't put any weight through it at all. And I'm hungry but I'm so scared to eat now, like it's just going straight into fat all over me :'(
[Rant/Rave] Accidentally placed my scale like 3 inches to the left and it says I gained 6 pounds
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 25 10:42:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72dnwf/accidentally_placed_my_scale_like_3_inches_to_the/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] why cant i stop binging
/u/yifans
Created: Mon Sep 25 10:12:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72dgdi/why_cant_i_stop_binging/
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i mean. i know the answer. since ive started university ive had trouble socializing (but believe me ive TRIED) and ive been turning to f**d to make myself feel better as i run through my 49th rewatch of how i met your mother because i have nothing better to do. my classes dont challenge me at all so i just sit there and eat.
how can i stop this madness? what can i do to distract myself? and has anyone else been through something similar?
[Rant/Rave] I got my period today for the first time in six months
/u/cinnamonbicycle [5'2 | F | 🍑: shakylittleleaf]
Created: Mon Sep 25 09:55:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72dc7o/i_got_my_period_today_for_the_first_time_in_six/
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I know six month isn't that long compared to some others. I don't know how I feel.
I guess I'm kinda happy, because now I've officially reached a weight that's "healthy" for my body. I've scheduled a dietician appointment for next week and plan to lose as much weight as I can by then. That way she'll know that this weight is fine for me to maintain.
I'm really glad I'm done gaining weight, and I feel like this will give my mom reason to not bother scheduling another dietician appointment. After all, I'm "healthy" now, aren't I? Hopefully I can get away with some light restriction now.
At the same time, I feel like the epitome of disgusting subhuman greed. I've eaten too much, I weight too much, my willpower isn't strong enough. I just can't wait to start restricting again. I need to get this weight off as soon as possible.
[Discussion] Drinking flavored sparkling water everyday?
/u/newtoskate [5'8| CW:128.9lbs | BMI:19.6 | 3rd Relapse: 5lbs | F]
Created: Mon Sep 25 09:54:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72dbvh/drinking_flavored_sparkling_water_everyday/
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I literally buy 5 , 1 litre bottles at the start of the week and they are gone by the end of the week.
Its only 20kcal for a liter for the highest calorie one.
Will the affect my teeth?
[Thinspo] Best thinspo instagram accounts?
/u/sourgumm1es [5'4" | CW 148 | GW 125 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 25 09:36:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72d7gz/best_thinspo_instagram_accounts/
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I just created an instagram and I want to just use it for inspo. What are yalls favorite thinspo and fit chick instagram accounts?
[Rant/Rave] What the $@?! is going on?!
/u/AnaTroi
Created: Mon Sep 25 09:34:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72d716/what_the_is_going_on/
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Happy Monday everyone!
So I've been steadily losing and was pretty happy about it. I'm down 20+ pounds. I've still got a long way to go before I reach my goal. But I've hit a really weird plateau and it's making me crazy.
My TDEE is around 1800. I've been consistently eating 400-600 calories a day. I run 3-4 days a week (approximately 3 miles every time). I do yoga on my off days.
I'm legitimately tracking what I eat. I track *everything*. If I eat one pistachio, I track it. So it's not that I'm eating more than I'm tracking. I promise.
My highest day was around 900 because I had two glasses of wine on a night out with friends. This was last Wednesday.
I was seeing a pretty steady drop on the scale, but now it's actually gone UP a pound.
What am I doing wrong? Could this really just be water weight? I'm so annoyed. I'm going to fast for a couple of days to see if it helps.
[Help] What to eat before a workout?
/u/midwesthoe- [5'1| 105 | 19.8 |20F|]
Created: Mon Sep 25 09:08:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72d0r0/what_to_eat_before_a_workout/
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So recently I’ve been super into actually trying to do cardio and lift because lifting burns a lot of calories and I want to look toned but I also don’t want to stuff myself with a ton of carbs before I workout. What do you guys eat?
[Help] I don't want this anymore. And I don't know what I mean by this but I don't want it.
/u/yesyeshihello [157cm | CW: 44.2kg | BMI: 17.93 | 27F]
Created: Mon Sep 25 08:46:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72cvqf/i_dont_want_this_anymore_and_i_dont_know_what_i/
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I apologize for the long ass rant. I need to get this off my chest before it explodes.
Saturday I woke up to 44kg. That's my lowest ever, a BMI of 17.85 (old BMI that is, I still feel too fat to face the new BMI). I felt great. My sister came over friday night and we agreed to go on a walk saturday morning and talk about life and I told her about what I'm going through, which of course she knew because she knows me and because at this point it's pretty obvious, and we talked about how I need help and how I'm going to the psychiatrist next week and I'll talk about this and blahblah. Nothing new. My boyfriend is already pushing me to recovery so now I have 2 people, and at least my sister knows what a freaking calorie is.
I want recovery, I think. In theory.
So we walked for over an hour and then she left and I went to the movies and the day went by - end of the afternoon I have this horrible anxiety and suddenly I'm alone and so I decide to eat. And I overeat. Not a binge, but over the 200 calories I want to stop at before dinner. Around 600 maybe. So I'm full and my anxiety gets worse and eventually it's so bad I need to take something for it. Bromazepam. I take a couple too many, and I'm kinda high and I feel fine and life is beautiful. And my boyfriend makes dinner and we eat with my parents, and everything's so wonderful the food is amazing I eat and then I repeat, and then some bread and then some more, bread tastes amazing, I feel so great, and I remember there's some sorbet in the freezer so we bring it out and I eat one serving and it's delicious and I eat two and three. And I feel great, I text my sister I tell her about my win, I tell her I might gain weight from it and everyone is delighted.
Wake up sunday morning, 44.5kg. It's fine, I saw it coming, I told my sister and boyfriend I'd try to keep it on but I know I'm lying because gross, I'm not putting on weight. We had to go out to eat with his mom so I skip breakfast and then have a normal portion of food, I feel full. The day goes by. I don't have anything in the afternoon of course but I'm so angry and I don't know why and dinner time comes and I have some oatmeal. And I feel full again and eventually I fucking hate everyone I hate life I feel so annoyed, we agreed to go to the movies again (movie buffs, don't ask) and I'm just so upset I don't even care about it. Eventually the realization comes that I just can't stand being full. I can't stand it. And I'm having horrible anxiety and so I take another pill - loprazolam this time - and we go to the movies and I feel nice and floaty and I crave popcorn but I don't eat anything else. I was going to be lighter this morning I knew because I was hungry and I had the oatmeal so early I'd be light as a freaking feather the next morning. Movie was okay.
So today I wake up and use the bathroom and I'm chilling because I know I'm on my way to lose that horrible 500g. Step on the scale.
44.7kg.
How.
Day ruined, mood ruined, I can feel every single bite I had in the last 48 hours sitting on my stomach and coming up my throat. I hate myself. How the hell does this happen, how. It's okay. Just restrict. I'm going to the doctor next monday and how is he going to take my eating disorder seriously when I look like a whale. I was supposed to be under 43kg next monday, doctor's scales are always higher so I needed to be under 43kg. It's okay. There's still time. Even though we have to go out to dinner on friday there's still time. Just restrict.
Oatmeal for breakfast, 95 calories. Dried peach and sugar-free red bull for lunch, 83.5 calories. I've eaten less and felt full before so I'll be fine. But I'm not, two hours after lunch I could kill someone for food - anything, I could eat anything, give me chocolate give me cereal give me a hamburger I'm starving. I can't eat, I won't let myself, but I'm hungry and it hurts. I ate so much that now my body craves food and it's making my life so difficult.
I want to be small.
But I want to eat.
But I want to be light for my appointment.
But I want to recover.
But not just yet.
I don't know what I want. I don't want this anymore. I want it but I don't want it.
I'm losing my mind.
[Discussion] What are your favorite foods that fill you up fast so you don't end up eating a lot?
/u/IsAFailure [5'6 | CW: 123lbs | GW: 110 | 20.74 | -7 | M]
Created: Mon Sep 25 07:55:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72ckes/what_are_your_favorite_foods_that_fill_you_up/
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[Thinspo] 😩 those legs
/u/squishykiss
Created: Mon Sep 25 07:38:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72cgvs/those_legs/
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https://i.redd.it/uadaicdk81oz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Had a binge last night
/u/pnurplert
Created: Mon Sep 25 07:29:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72cf0m/had_a_binge_last_night/
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And it was still less than 1000 cals....i cant believe it.....i was working on my assignments all day and i didnt eat up until 7 and i had miso soup eggs and all that crappy healthy low cal shit and i was still hungry so i ended up ordering mcdonalds and my total calories equals to 898 idk if i should be sad that i binged or happy that it was still under 1000 cals :/ im so confused with myself smh
[Rant/Rave] Survived a dinner party with ~300 cal and I am fucking glowing
/u/when-i-am-small
Created: Mon Sep 25 06:47:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72c6vd/survived_a_dinner_party_with_300_cal_and_i_am/
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II was at a party last night and my friend (a world class trained chef at a 2 Michelin star restaurant) cooked up a storm. I had anxiety about it all week. I was helping to throw the party so I couldn't skip out. The kitchen smelled like heaven. Everyone was gawking at how delicious everything was. The pastries looked like sex. I brought a vegan boca burger and a frozen soup, along with strawberries and popcorn. (Consistent with my vegan diet) I was sure I was snap and binge on the brownies for sure.
Nope. I brought a large gas station coffee with me, some xanax, and worked through any cravings. Sure people looked at me like I was nuts but I just said I had to cut weight for a photo shoot. It worked. I successfully rode the wave and now I feel like I can do anything. Just finished a spin class and am -600 cal for the day. I am going strong as fuck and nothing can stop me. Now, let's see this whoosh effect come into play!!!!!
[Help] 7 pounds in 1.5 weeks???????
/u/lululights
Created: Mon Sep 25 06:18:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72c1ge/7_pounds_in_15_weeks/
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Sorry in advance if this is all over the place; I'm kind of panicking.
One and a half weeks ago, I weighed in at 117.2. I'm 5'7", if that's important. Anyways, over the last 10 days or so I've gradually gone up to 123.8 pounds! I did increase my intake about a month ago. I went from high restricting (~800 cal a day) to 1400 cal/day, which is still under my maintenance by a decent margin. According to LoseIt, 1400 cal/day should still have me losing about a pound a week.
I did have a pretty bad binge (right at 2200 calories) the other day, but otherwise I've stuck to my goal.
SO WHY HAVE I GAINED 7 POUNDS?!? Is this forever?? I haven't been this huge since the start of August and I'm literally freaking out. Like, I literally threw my scale away in a panic this morning. Please help :(
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! September 25, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Sep 25 06:14:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72c0pr/weekly_stats_update_september_25_2017/
---
This is the weekly status thread for September 25, 2017.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! September 25, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Sep 25 06:14:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72c0oy/daily_food_diary_september_25_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 25, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
Control issues
/u/sadfatgirl- [5'7 | CW197 | HW219 | 30.89 | GW135 | UGW110 ]
Created: Mon Sep 25 06:02:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72byj5/control_issues/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Self care week yessss
/u/ohwellolivia
Created: Mon Sep 25 05:55:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72bxb6/self_care_week_yessss/
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Every week my husband and I take out $100 cash for food and date night for the week (whatever's leftover we save for our upcoming vacation). This week he's out of town for work so I have $100 to myself!! Instead of buying binge foods, I'm gonna get a mani and pedi and a new lipstick! I'm so excited, I haven't done anything for myself in months!! What color should I get??
[Discussion] Going out with friends....what is your go to drink???
/u/rosa1200
Created: Mon Sep 25 05:16:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72br0d/going_out_with_friendswhat_is_your_go_to_drink/
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I need something with as low calories as possible. I refuse to drink carbonated soda drinks so last year I drank vodka/OJ for the entire year, but I'm thinking of switching to vodka/sugar free redbull so it's fewer calories....any other recommendations??
[Discussion] Can we get a role call? Where is everyone from?
/u/loserlosing5
Created: Mon Sep 25 05:04:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72bp1g/can_we_get_a_role_call_where_is_everyone_from/
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Sorry mods if this isn't allowed!
I just am curious as to where people might be from, perhaps we can find local people to talk to or who might have experience with treatment programs or know low cal foods to that region etc.
I'm from
Country: Australia
State: South Australia.
City: Adelaide.
[Rant/Rave] Huge fight with my Mother
/u/Jen1013 [Height 5'11"| CW 187| BMI 26.1 | Weight Lost ]
Created: Mon Sep 25 05:03:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72bovm/huge_fight_with_my_mother/
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[removed]
[Discussion] September 25th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 25 04:47:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72bmke/september_25th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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Do you plan? Or are you flying by the seat of your pants?
[Discussion] which machines at the gym do you think are "unsafe" or detrimental to your body? Which do you like?
/u/Suusss
Created: Mon Sep 25 04:28:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72bjxl/which_machines_at_the_gym_do_you_think_are_unsafe/
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I use my uni gym a lot - and we have the stadard treadmill/rowing room/elliptical/stationary bike/reclined cycle machine/ weight lifting machines ... I have always thought the squat machines were... a little 'unsafe' (like food ? ? ?) because they would make me look fat by building up muscle in my thighs/butt :< I think I read on this sub that treadmill jogging at a slow pace for a long duration was the best exercise for thigh bulk - but tbh there is so much discrepancy of the cal burn between the machine reading and the activity. Which machine or like workout area at the gym do you trust/mistrust/think will fuck your body up (more than it is already guhh) ?
Saw this on r/fatlogic ... wtf?
/u/kein-08-15
Created: Mon Sep 25 03:34:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72bcbq/saw_this_on_rfatlogic_wtf/
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https://i.redd.it/iq3qsk0510oz.jpg
[Help] Gained 2lbs in a day?
/u/dancingblobfish
Created: Mon Sep 25 02:15:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72b2ix/gained_2lbs_in_a_day/
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Yesterday I ate like a normal person because I was with my family my calories may have added up to 1,200 (overestimated). I drank close to a gallon of water. Is the 2lbs just water weight or could I have actually gained this much?
What are some things you do to distract yourself when you get hunger pains?
/u/courtenaymersa95
Created: Mon Sep 25 01:06:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72atlq/what_are_some_things_you_do_to_distract_yourself/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] Transformation thinspo (150>123)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 24 23:36:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72ah38/transformation_thinspo_150123/
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https://i.redd.it/ozjkmfxouynz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] contacted the counseling center
/u/oreofright [5'1| CW:116 | -23 | GW:100 | 23F]
Created: Sun Sep 24 21:14:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/729uc9/contacted_the_counseling_center/
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Well, after having a total panic attack about a bowl of vegetables today, I sent an email off to the university counseling center to get an appointment for therapy... I'm not totally sure I'll follow through.
Part of me doesn't want any help at all. I want to get worse and waste away for a lot of reasons, and none of them really match up with the reasons I've read about in articles that try to shed light on anorexia. It doesn't feel like it's about control--whatever this is, this is *not* control for me, I'll tell you that right now.
I also don't feel like I deserve help. I'm not doing a good job at the whole starving myself thing, I've been stuck at this weight for 2 weeks and I'm still large. It's just fact. But I can't do a good job at starving without completely falling apart. Its freaky how some proana places are all "yay topamax, def go on topamax and restrict." I went on topamax for epilepsy and migraines that were ruining my life and then the fear of failing and the impending doom of Capstone, Grad School, Job Hunt, Adulthood, and Unknowables all hit at once while topamax took away my ability to create art without pain and enjoy a walk around the block. It took my world and crushed it down to the size of my living room. And I guess I wanted to feel like I could succeed at something? So I picked losing weight? I don't know. And then restricting on this higher dosage, I feel the IQ points slipping and the words start slurring and suddenly I'm throwing alphabet soup at the wall and I can't turn in any of my homework or read my books. Suddenly I'm standing in the hall, having dropped all my things, but I haven't even noticed and everyone's just staring at me. And I'm getting awkward emails from professors, because things aren't being turned in. I'm falling apart at the seams, and somehow these people are going to write letters of recommendation for grad school in a few short months? Yeah right.
"Are you okay?"
No. I'm not. I'm crying over an apple. God knows why.
It's too much. Everything is too much. It's all too much to think about and holding a spoon to eat soup makes my hand go numb, but somehow I have to eat 900 calories or my brain goes dumb. How?! Black magic.
I'm going to my 400 level class that's after lunch with tunnel vision and having wanna-bulimia I guess, because every meal makes me sick to my stomach. I went on these pills so I could *stop* throwing up all the time.
I feel like whatever counselor I get is going to take one look at me and laugh, like, "seriously? You think you might have an eating disorder? and what? It's been like 2 months? Come back when you're actually sick."
I'm scared to talk about this with anyone, like I will infect them and bring them down this hole with me.
Edit: yikes. appt. on friday. :/
[Rant/Rave] it’s never worth it, so why do I keep doing it?
/u/saltfruit [6'2" | 188 | M]
Created: Sun Sep 24 21:04:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/729shq/its_never_worth_it_so_why_do_i_keep_doing_it/
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https://i.redd.it/7b05a4nh3ynz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] bf said i looked like i'd gained weight :(
/u/avakadava [5'6.5" | 132 | 21.0 | -22]
Created: Sun Sep 24 20:49:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/729pzi/bf_said_i_looked_like_id_gained_weight/
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He said my face looked rounder and asked if i gained any weight. At the time we were in a kinda jokey mood and wasn't expecting him to ask something like that so I thought it was a joke and was like yeah. He said how much and i was like 'oh you know, 100kg'. By then I could tell it was a actually a serious question because he did a kinda confused smile, so I said actually idk how much, my family doesn't have any scales. Later he was like oh you have gained weight, your arms look bigger.
I'm super confused now - my mum has been saying I've been looking skinnier, and encouraging me to eat more at dinners. I have lost about 12kg since June-ish. But this just confirms what I've been self-conscious of lately, which is that I don't even look any different after losing weight and that my arms look fucking fat.
Also, after the arm comment he said but he didn't want me to try and lose any weight, he'd actually like it if I gained a little more. yeah nah not happening babe :/ gonna lower my goal weight because obviously I need it
[Discussion] Do leg lifts/planks burn calories?
/u/wakeupmrwestt [5'6.5" | BMI: 17.4]
Created: Sun Sep 24 19:59:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/729hx4/do_leg_liftsplanks_burn_calories/
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Hellooooooo... So I am sure Leg lift/planks/crunches/yoga class... burns calories, but any significant amount?
I'm talking a mediocre yoga class, not very high intensity. Also I do the other exercises in moderation throughout the day so I was wondering if they burn any amount of calories?
I've always been curious so I just figured I'd ask! Any rough estimate is ok :-))
[Help] 5-HTP or Garcinia?
/u/Pettyinblack [5'2|CW127|HW170|F27]
Created: Sun Sep 24 19:54:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/729h0m/5htp_or_garcinia/
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Have any of you tried these? Advice? Testimonial? Worth it? Side effects? I am really interested in 5-HTP because my sleep has been garbage lately but I don't know much about it...
[Intro] Happy to have found this place at last!
/u/Sinnerandangels
Created: Sun Sep 24 19:35:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/729dam/happy_to_have_found_this_place_at_last/
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Okay, so perhaps I have been living under a rock or really not been bothered to look this sub up hahahahaha
I have been reading through a few of the posts and so excited to see that it is such an inclusive community. I made my way from a chatroom, to MPA and to here. I suppose I have made a few friends there but... idk, too many users and easy to get lost haha
A bit about me:
22yo/f/Australia
Dx AN-r July 2015
Treatment for 6 months..
Felt okay. Stress and uni and work has led me to go back to old habits, my ED has morphed i to something weird af. Its no longer just over exercise and relatively normal intake, cut food groups out qnd still exercised over the top. Went without sleep or study to exercise. When I started treatment I went cold turkey on cou ting cals and exercising and was too scared to go back to exercising in case it got too consuming so I started purging what I ate, restricted, cut food groups again, C/S and fast.
It is forever changing and right now I am in a bit of a downward spiral.
HW/SW: 139lb/63kg
CW: 112lb/51kg
LW:103lb/46.8kg
GW: 99lb/45kg
UGW: Doesnt even exist 😣
Looking for support whether a fasting buddy or MFP
a place to rant/rave/chill out 😊
- Sinner
[Rant/Rave] I successfully fasted all day today
/u/starvingarthoe
Created: Sun Sep 24 19:09:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/729869/i_successfully_fasted_all_day_today/
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I feel great! I feel accomplished. I plan to keep going til around 3 pm tomorrow and then I'm going to break my fast with some cinnamon oatmeal. I told my family and my bf that I'm practicing IF. I'm hoping to do a 48 hour fast soon. I was going to eat today but I had to make up for a chinese food binge last night. I hope the scale is good to me tomorrow
[Rant/Rave] I really suck at purging. A rant.
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 93lbs | BMI 17 | 20F]
Created: Sun Sep 24 19:05:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7297ak/i_really_suck_at_purging_a_rant/
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I started purging when I started drinking in my sophomore year of high school. At first, it was a way to get alcohol out of my system when I felt too sick. It was really easy back then.
In my senior year of high school, I purged almost every day for a few months straight. I'd restrict all day and then purge whatever I had for dinner.
After my senior year I went back to purging only when I was drinking.
Now, in my junior year of college, I've started purging again. It's not on a super frequent basis, but whenever I feel like I'm eating way too much, I go purge it.
The problem I'm having now is that it's like food cements itself to the bottom of my stomach when I eat it. I chug water, and even drink more water as I'm doing it, but almost nothing comes up. I make myself throw up like 8 or 9 times in one go, and still there's more left that I can feel in my stomach.
Just an hour or two ago I was trying to get up a veggie burger and fries. It was so pathetic that only like one fries worth was coming up at a time.
What the fuck is that?! I was trying every way possible to get it all up and I barely got rid of any of it.
I'm so sick of having an eating disorder. This relapse has only lasted a month or two so far and I feel sicker than I have in my entire life. I only ate 2 tsp of cookie dough, half a donut, and a veggie burger w/ maybe 11 fries, and I felt the need to purge the veggie burger. Fuck this disorder.
[Help] Acne and restricting?
/u/fluffy-potatoes-
Created: Sun Sep 24 19:05:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7297a2/acne_and_restricting/
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Is it possible for anorexia to cause acne? I have been restricting more than normal lately and it seems like ever since I have my skin has been so bad. I have always had sensitive/acne prone skin. I don't take any vitamins/supplements. Should I get some? I try to drink a good amount of water but I will admit that I drink a lot more diet mtn dew than is probably healthy... thanks for any help!
[Discussion] User flair weight - pre or post food?
/u/cxwang
Created: Sun Sep 24 18:56:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7295lt/user_flair_weight_pre_or_post_food/
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Curious about whether the weight you use is before food or after? Or an avg? I fluctuate ~3-4 lbs (112-116 lbs) during the day from water and food (ugh)
[Rant/Rave] According to the new BMI I am no longer over weight!
/u/almightylurker [5'1.75" | 128.6 | 24.6 | -86.4 | 20F]
Created: Sun Sep 24 18:39:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7292fe/according_to_the_new_bmi_i_am_no_longer_over/
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Weight loss has been really slow lately because I still keep eating too fucking much but I guess I'm still making progress because I weighed in at 129.8 this morning. I just want to know when I'll stop feeling like a ginormous garbage monster. Where is that Confidence™ I was promised.
[Rant/Rave] Life things
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'3"|110| 25F]
Created: Sun Sep 24 18:21:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/728yqb/life_things/
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I tell myself that thinness is supreme and that once I'm thin I can go out and be more:
-confident
-secure
-reckless
-beautiful
-outspoken
-less affected by others' thoughts
-f r e e
but I flew into this spider's web myself and I'm thinking it's harder to get out than coming into it.
I spent this day binging and purging and I thought how sad it was how the food going in didn't even feel like food anymore
I feel so fucking alone. I want to have a few months to myself, weeks even, maybe I can fix myself by then.
[Rant/Rave] Self control feels so good
/u/ohwellolivia
Created: Sun Sep 24 18:14:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/728xae/self_control_feels_so_good/
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The past few days were kind of a shit show. After my longest fast yet, 85 hours, Rosh Hashanah creeped up on me. I thought I was prepared for it. For the heavy kugels and honey soaked challahs. I thought I was in control. I wasn't. I undid all that work.
Today, I heated up the leftovers for my husband. Rich, fatty chicken noodle soup that had been boiling on my stove top for 11 hours. It's my absolute favorite. I could eat an entire pot of it (and my soup pot is 2 gallons).
I didn't eat it.
My Zero fasting app says 21 hours, and I feel amazing. The control is intoxicating. The soup pot is empty, and so is my stomach. And I intend to keep it that way through Yom Kippur. The hubby leaves for a conference tomorrow evening, so it'll be smooth sailing from here on out. Wish me luck.
[Rant/Rave] I worked off a binge.. it was a lot of work.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Sep 24 18:01:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/728ube/i_worked_off_a_binge_it_was_a_lot_of_work/
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On mobile flair as rant rave .
Last night I was over 48 hours into a fast kind of on accident because I was depressed and had less appetite or craving. I just wanted to die. I remember last night though that I sort of promises to buy a coworker vegan ice cream from this place that was open later and not going to lie she is adorable and I think they are pretty attractive so I was looking foreword to hanging out outside of work.
I took food home from work too that I made, a Mac and cheese chimichanga thing. I also had a vrgan common roll. I estimates 1000 or so for the burrito and maybe 500 or so for the common roll.
So she reminded me and I just mentally prepared myself. Made food in case it turned into a binge. It was a pleasant experience. I am so bad at reading people so I honestly don't know the vibes she was sending out. I don't even know if she's single but whatever. So we both get our ice cream and sit and talk for like an hour. She had a single scoop on a sugar cone (admirable control. She is really thin but I don't think she has an ED). I had two scoops with vegan chocolate sauce. I lied and said I was brining home ice cream to my room mates so i bought two pints to go thinking I'd just go crazy and binge and then fast more.
We talk she talks about wanting to hang out again and said I should text her I'm in her neighborhood so we can hang out. I didn't get her number but she gave it to me today at work. I think it's just a friendly thing but I'm just awkward and feel like I'm no ones type.
So I ate the ice cream the place. Had the control to take two bites from one pint then threw them away. I got home and at the other food I brought, chimichanga and cinnamon roll and that was it. I guessed the binge may have been a tad over 2000 calories which after a full day of work would have been maintainence may be. I have no idea what my TDEE is or BMR or anything I'm convince my bodies some anomaly cause or prolonged ED behaviors.
This morning I woke up early and went to the gym for 4 hours. I burned over 2500 calories according to the treadmill and elliptical and I did some lifting for good measure until I was too sore to go one. I worked off my binge and I feel like if I some how was able to work our a few hours every few days I might actually be able to eat and not feel as bad. I used to be addicted to exercise so I guess it's just a thing I have but seems like it's less bae than purging.
So I worked off a binge and went out to ice cream with a cute girl from work not sure what to make of the second just writing it off as a one off thing I don't know if she will want to hang out again.
Willow.
[Other] I literally can't see people buying cantaloupes without wondering if they're on here 👀
/u/champu-petal
Created: Sun Sep 24 17:52:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/728sjw/i_literally_cant_see_people_buying_cantaloupes/
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i know the chances are astronomically low but i can't help it! i'll be looking at the lady next to me in line like *are you one of us*??
[Rant/Rave] I feel like this is a sign
/u/library-cat [5'6"| 137 | 22.2 | GW??? | 21F]
Created: Sun Sep 24 17:41:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/728q65/i_feel_like_this_is_a_sign/
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I finally decided to order a scale (one that was recommended on here a few days ago) and I said to myself that until the scale arrived, I would try to eat as normally as possible and try not to worry about intake. I have no idea what I weigh right now, so I thought I'd be kind to myself but as soon as i get that scale I know I'm going to be completely obsessed with the numbers again. I got the cheapest shipping option so amazon said it wouldn't arrive for nearly a week, whatever, fine.
but the shipment email says it's arriving tomorrow! surprise! this feels like a sign. even the universe thinks I'm a fatass l m a o buckle up ladies and gentlemen and distinguished guests because this time tomorrow I'm going to completely despise myself
[Other] These things are f-ing amazing
/u/midwesthoe- [5'1| 105 | 19.8 |20F|]
Created: Sun Sep 24 16:43:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/728el4/these_things_are_fing_amazing/
---
https://i.redd.it/n1fianf0twnz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I almost killed myself with food because I thought I was a food failure
/u/BlackHairedBloodElf [❤ 5' 2" 💛 CW: 97.6 💚 GW: 99 💙 17.9 💜 F ❤]
Created: Sun Sep 24 16:38:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/728de6/i_almost_killed_myself_with_food_because_i/
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I got to goal weight and minimum goal food costs, so my food obsession led me to a new challenge: veganism.
I started eating the cheap, tasty vegan foods that fit in my budget. But I started getting sick.
After multiple doctor visits for what I worried was stomach cancer, I started eliminating vegan foods and went back to meat. I felt like a failure but wasn't sick anymore.
Stubbornly, I started my vegan shakes again and got sick again. And as I laid in bed nauseated today, I realized what it was. My powder was loaded with iron. And iron pills make me nauseated! Its not going vegan that is killing me, its that stupid protein powder.
Had I kept ignoring my nausea, I could have ended up dying of iron toxicity. All in the name of food perfection.
So I'm glad to say I'm not hating myself for being a food failure. I can research and find a new powder. Its all going to be okay. ☺
[Rant/Rave] I’M SO PROUD OF MYSELF 💙💚❤️
/u/NewEnglandAutumn [5'8 | 122 lbs | BMI 18.6 | GW: 115]
Created: Sun Sep 24 16:19:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7289ah/im_so_proud_of_myself/
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So this past weekend I had to go to this workshop/class thingy with my school and I KEPT MY DEFECIT (<1300 calories) GOING!!! It may not sound like a lot, but this event serves literally the most unhealthy food from for 3 days straight and I’m really proud of myself for not giving in.
Like they’d start out the day with PILES of candy and chocolate bars on our tables, then for lunch we would have pizza or Chick-fil-a (440 calorie sandwich + 210 calorie chips + 40 calories sauce + 350 calorie cookie= **1020 calories for a single fucking meal**) then dinner was MASSIVE burgers and large servings of fries and cake and more candy for dessert. >4000 calorie day easily.
Last time I went I ate at least 2000 calories of candy in one sitting, plus all the other crap I just mentioned. It was *disgusting.*
This time I budgeted and never ate any bread (the buns on burgers and sandwiches were like 500 calories combined!) and ate a lot of fruit and veggies that I brought from home and tracked everything. I only ate like one piece of candy (my biggest weakness) and chewed/spit a bunch more, making sure not to swallow barely ANYTHING. I managed to stay under <1300 calories (I’ve been shooting for 1200 but it’s still pretty good) for 3 days while surrounded by junk.
So yeah I’m just basically proud of my willpower. 😂
[Help] Question about fruit cups
/u/TummyRumblz [5'8" | CW: Larvitar | GW: clamperl | F]
Created: Sun Sep 24 16:12:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7287vq/question_about_fruit_cups/
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Will draining the syrup from fruit cups lower the calorie count? I'll still mentally log it as 100 but I still wonder
[Rant/Rave] I wish I was more than this. (long rant)
/u/daeboo [5ft1.5/🌑92lbs]
Created: Sun Sep 24 15:37:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/727zz8/i_wish_i_was_more_than_this_long_rant/
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Hunger is a physiological instinct, appetite is a learned psychological response. The body's digestive enzymes can't break down fiber like other carbs, so you absorb less calories from them.
I've got a secondhand textbook on physical fitness and nutrition that I'm paging through instead of doing my course readings. I'm a philosophy major. My final average in grade 12 was 87%, when I dropped all my science and math courses so I'd never be able to leave the realm of Humanities.
I went into philosophy hoping I'd go to law school one day. Yeah, fat fucking chance. In grade 12 I spent more time researching nutrition than being concerned about university. Did you know that the number of fat cells in your body is set by the time you stop growing?
I keep wondering what I could have done with the two years I spent reading science that I'll never have any use for. I wonder if I could have applied myself to something instead of drifting away from the real world.
I pay 8K a year in tuition for a dead end degree and every day I slip further into my eating disorder. A waste of money, air, education. Someone else should have my body, my life, my mind. They might have accomplished something with it other than read bullshit and eat, puke, eat, and puke. I might have been more than this but instead I'm 18 and all my energy is spent on starving/binging/purging/repeat. Everyone else has a chance at a future and I'm never going to be more than how much I ate, how much I threw up. I'm walled in a sickness of my own making, and thats the most disgusting part, because theres something in me enjoys this enough to keep on going.
[Rant/Rave] I can't stop gaining
/u/ssuicidaldeer [5'6 | CW: 111 | GW: 100 | F 🌸]
Created: Sun Sep 24 15:22:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/727wsr/i_cant_stop_gaining/
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I weighed myself today and I'm 108.4!! I feel so horrible. I was 105 a few days ago! I'm basically forced to eat three meals a day on weekends because of my family and even if I manage to lose something on the weekdays I always gain it back. this is so disappointing. I wish I could do liquid fasts for days like some people, but I can't. even on weekdays I still have to eat dinner. I feel so hopeless. It takes me forever to lose even like .4 of a pound. even exercise apparently doesn't burn enough to be significant unless its extremely high-intensity for a long time. we don't have a gym and all I do is play volleyball for school. I feel like I will never reach even my first goal weight of 105. I'm so discouraged rn. sometimes I want to give up entirely
[Help] Urgent help-calories on package and online are different
/u/ci-fre
Created: Sun Sep 24 15:04:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/727siv/urgent_helpcalories_on_package_and_online_are/
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Hello, I'm really freaking out about this, when the calories on packaged and online are different should I trust the package?? I bought a pack of Larabars and the calorie label seems different from the one on the company website.
NOTE: I'm not confused solely because of MFP! It's just that both labels are on MFP too
The package calorie label seems to be consistent for all the bars inside and on the outside of the package and I'm so paranoid. The older bars on website are 220 cal for 51 g and the ones I bought are 200 cal for 45g and I don't know which is correct. I weighed the bars I have and they seem to match the 45g better. Macros add up for both.
EDIT: wait help for one of my safe foods the labels on MFP are way different from the one on package and I'm paranoid that I need to count the higher one on MFP
Gollum
/u/de1etemyse1f
Created: Sun Sep 24 14:33:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/727l4y/gollum/
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[removed]
[Other] Told a new friend about my ED, and I believe he has one too
/u/coffeejournalist
Created: Sun Sep 24 14:01:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/727dgy/told_a_new_friend_about_my_ed_and_i_believe_he/
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So bear with me, this is going to be long.
I don't look like I have an ED. I'm 5'5, 162 UBS. Size 4 in jeans, 26 inch waist, wear a small in shirts. I look pretty average, but my body just weighs a lot for some reason. You'd never look at me and think, "that girl starves herself. That girl abuses laxatives. That girl is literally terrified of eating over 700 calories a day."
So I experienced a miscarriage in July that almost killed me from blood loss, and after that, my ED came back in full force. It was prevalent in high school, but I recovered and actually became highly overweight. I've lost 30lbs since July from restricting and laxative abuse (I know they don't actually cause weight loss, it's definitely a mental addiction).
My boyfriend and I broke up a few weeks after the semester started. I had made some really great friends in one of my classes and I've been progressively getting closer to them. My best friend is a guy who started talking to me because I was wearing a shirt of a pop punk band he liked. We started talking about music and we realized we love all the same bands and he's actually in a pop punk band as the lead singer. We get along super well and there's definitely a mutual attraction. We are both Biology majors, me biochemistry, him microbiology. We hang out on campus between classes and study together all the time.
We've been hanging out more and more, and we always go to the McDonald's by our school. I always just order a Diet Coke and say something like, "oh I'm eating at work tonight" or "I had a big breakfast." He doesn't ever eat either, and that has raised my suspicions that he has an ED, too. He's 6'1 and literally weighs 135lbs. I feel huge next to him.
But anyway, we hung out all Friday night, and I hadn't eaten the whole day. He ordered pizza for me and his parents. I took a slice and didn't touch it more than a bite, and he took two slices and ate half of one. We went up to his room and he asks me, "Do you feel like you can't eat in front of me?" I said no, I just ate before I came over. He dropped the subject and we started watching The Walking Dead on Netflix.
We decided it would be fun to get drunk. We went to the store and got pink moscato and some Guinness for him. I literally drank all my calories for the day in alcohol. Of course since I hadn't eaten all day, I was very drunk. I started opening up about my life and my past. He out of the blue asks me, "Have you eaten at all today?" I replied with an honest, "no."
He took the bottle of moscato away from me and I laid down on his bed and we started talking some more. I finally said, "I have to tell you something." He just looks at me and says, "You have an eating disorder. I already knew that." The way he said it was so kind. No judgement, no resentment, no disrespect. He said it as it was, an illness. Like as if I told him I had bronchitis or something. I asked how he knew, and he said the signs were all there. I put my bag over my lap in class to hide my thighs, I only wear jeans or leggings with t shirts or big sweaters, I constantly do body checks (touch my collar bones, measure my wrists with my fingers, brush my hand across my hip bones), he's only ever seen me drink diet drinks. He actually told me he found 3 empty packets of laxatives in my car a few days prior, but was waiting until I brought it up.
We spent the next day together and he bought me a yogurt and granola, but told me I didn't have to eat it if I didn't want to. Then I realized something, I've never seen him eat either. He teaches Muay Thai, so that has to drain his energy supply. I haven't asked him if he has an ED, but he does know a lot about them, and the way he talks about his body leads me to believe he does. He calls himself "skinny fat", says he has a gut, says he has man boobs, etc. He has a BMI of 17.8, he does not have fat anywhere. I want to bring it up, but I also believe that's his business if he wants to tell me. It's nice having someone know who isn't trying to fix me. He's concerned about my well being, but he is very sweet about it and makes me feel taken care of, not pressured. I think part of it is maybe he understands, but I know I can't diagnose him.
If you got though this, thank you! I just can't tell anyone else this story besides you guys. I appreciate you guys more than anything, and hopefully things progress with this guy in the future and I'll have more stories to tell ✨
[Discussion] Why stevia and not splenda?
/u/PM-ME-YOUR-AHEGAO [5'3 | UGW: 108 ]
Created: Sun Sep 24 13:50:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/727awq/why_stevia_and_not_splenda/
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I don't use sugar/sweetener in my food, but I want to start drinking tea. how come so many people use stevia?
Orlistat Online Without Prescriptions
/u/Jacob1457
Created: Sun Sep 24 13:38:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7278d6/orlistat_online_without_prescriptions/
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https://allpharmacyus.com/search.html?key=Orlistat
Good Kindle book !
/u/Tril2000
Created: Sun Sep 24 13:26:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7275iu/good_kindle_book/
---
https://www.amazon.com/Weight-Loss-Tips-Practical-Principles-ebook/dp/B075KQ56MM/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1506278343&sr=1-1&keywords=B075KQ56MM
[Rant/Rave] question about water weight??
/u/fitisthegoal
Created: Sun Sep 24 12:51:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/726xoq/question_about_water_weight/
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So my boyfriend is visiting and he noticed I've lost weight, score!! But I haven't been restricting just watching what I eat and yesterday we had Japanese, i had a california roll and sautéed veggies and later in the day had 2 chicken tenders and then a fiber one bar. I wasn't over my 1200 and especially not over my TDEE but do you think it is the sodium that made the scale shoot up .6?
I'm really freaking out 😪 sorry for bad grammar on mobile
[Rant/Rave] [Rant/Rave] He doesn't care.
/u/Throwaway3344511
Created: Sun Sep 24 12:20:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/726qp8/rantrave_he_doesnt_care/
---
On mobile, can't flair.
I told my boyfriend. Kinda. I told him that I've been eating less. Actually, I've been specific and I told him how many calories I'm eating a day (500-700). He asked why I'm doing that, then said "[...] not eating to get slim?" so he thinks I'm not slim yet. Great, gonna restrict even more. But that's not the point of my post. Basically he told me he wants me to be healthy, but now it's been weeks and we haven't talked about it. Not once has he asked if I'm eating or anything. And it's like, I don't want him to stop me but it'd be cool if he cared, you know? But he doesn't, because I'm not thin enough. Oh god, this post doesn't make sense and I sound crazy.
[Help] Can you lose weight without caffeine?
/u/gracefullystupid
Created: Sun Sep 24 11:10:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/726anb/can_you_lose_weight_without_caffeine/
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Just wondering if any of you have actually lost weight without having caffeine? I drink so much of it to suppress appetite but I drink like 800mg or more a day sometimes and if I don’t have a certain amount within a certain time period, I get a migraine to where I’m pretty much dysfunctional (besides the part where my pounding head feels like it’s being squeezed by a giant, I get really hot, nauseous, entire body gets sore, no one can touch me, and no amount of Tylenol or Goody’s will save me, it’s really bad.) So I’m just really curious if it’s possible?
[Discussion] Treatment centers
/u/Endogirl823
Created: Sun Sep 24 11:01:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7268jb/treatment_centers/
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I was wondering, could we start a sticky or something with reviews of treatment centers? I know a lot of us aren't ready for help, and some of us are on the brink of getting help. I know there's edtreatmentreview.com but I trust the people on here more, and some of the reviews look kind of fishy. I don't know. If this is a stupid idea just ignore it.
Would anyone be interested in a strict kik group?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 24 11:01:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7268gq/would_anyone_be_interested_in_a_strict_kik_group/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Sunday, September 24th Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 24 09:48:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/725rs3/sunday_september_24th_question_of_the_day/
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When was the last time you went dancing?
BronkAid
/u/gayishfish
Created: Sun Sep 24 08:57:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/725gvf/bronkaid/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Getting weighed at the doctor...
/u/loserlosing5
Created: Sun Sep 24 08:41:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/725drv/getting_weighed_at_the_doctor/
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It's like arghhh I want to see a lower number but I also don't want him to think I have an eating disorder (which he already does 😕) but I also don't wanna fake a weight gain because then he'll think I'm a fat pig.
I know tomorrow I'm gonna be 2-3kg lighter and he's gonna overreact 👀
What are other people's experience with being weighed at the doctors?
Update: he didn't even weigh me! He just wanted to talk about low iron. Waste of time. I'm never taking iron or vitamin d supplements. Going back to my real proper doctor later for self harm anyway so eh.
[Other] What is hunger?
/u/IceInIridian
Created: Sun Sep 24 08:18:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7259fm/what_is_hunger/
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Can you see it?
Can you hear it?
Can you feel it?
Can you taste it?
I can see hunger on my hipbones and on my ribs.
I can hear hunger at night, as I lie unsleeping. I can hear it in my belly, ever demanding.
I can feel hunger with my fingers, as I trace my collarbones, my waist, my cheekbones.
Best of all, I can taste hunger. Sometimes, it's the taste of sugar free gum, or Coke Zero.
If I do this correctly, hunger is void. It is the absence of weight. It is the metallic taste of my mouth when I fast.
Hunger, to me, is success.
[Discussion] Am I too old for this shit.
/u/ponderingachange
Created: Sun Sep 24 07:44:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7253om/am_i_too_old_for_this_shit/
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Went through bulimia through high school. With limited counselling and parental support I managed to develop healthy habits by my late teens. But sometimes I feel bitter. That I never did proper therapy beyond seeing the school psych two or three times and her idiotically trying to tell me how I feel. I feel bitter that my parents' answer was the tell me to get my act together. I wish I could have got lost in it, I wish I hit rock bottom.
Because now I'm 28 and feeling like I'm right back in those really stages.
Binging and purging. Purging anything really. Excessive exercise.
I don't really know what if anything triggered it. I'm telling myself, it's in control, I can definitely stop when I want. But I don't even want to. I fucking love binging and purging. I fucking love stuffing myself and letting it all come out. There's something about obsessively tracking every calorie in and out that I love.
But I'm 28. Shouldn't I be over this shit by now. How old is too old.
How old are you guys?? Am I too old? Do I need to just fucking grow up.
[Rant/Rave] the few seconds in the morning right after I wake up before I remember I binged the night before
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1.5" | cw 155 | gw 145 | -15]
Created: Sun Sep 24 07:07:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/724xn5/the_few_seconds_in_the_morning_right_after_i_wake/
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I wish my whole life was like that. The few seconds each morning that I'm not awake enough to be freaking out and hating myself about food.
My cat screamed me awake this morning. I thought about pretending to be asleep still so I could go back to sleep before feeding her. Then I realized I really had to pee though. Then my ED woke up too and started calling me a fat pig for eating so many cashews last night. And now the day has begun
[Rant/Rave] STOP THE HOT WEATHER
/u/mildsymptoms
Created: Sun Sep 24 07:04:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/724x2r/stop_the_hot_weather/
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[removed]
[Discussion] I just made banana bread oatmeal for a little over 200 calories
/u/Atticus909 [5'4" | -18.4bs | 19M]
Created: Sun Sep 24 06:51:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/724uze/i_just_made_banana_bread_oatmeal_for_a_little/
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And omg it was amazing. It tasted just like the real thing. Here's the recipe I used along with the calories of everything:
1/3 cup of oatmeal (100)
1 small mashed banana (90)
2 tbs of unsweetened apple sauce (7)
1 tsp vanilla extract (2)
dash of cinnamon, nutmeg, and salt.
Cook that all together with water until the oatmeal thickens. Let it cool and top with some sugar free maple syrup (8).
Total calories: 207
The only thing I would change is to add some pecans for that finishing touch if you can, but they aren't my safe food. Maybe even try topping it with some whipped cream for a dessert or even baking it in the oven?? I really want a second helping lol
[Thinspo] [Male Thinspo] Finnlay Davis [32 Images]
/u/95CHOI [M20 / -230lbs / RNY Gone Haywire]
Created: Sun Sep 24 06:32:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/724sbn/male_thinspo_finnlay_davis_32_images/
---
https://imgur.com/a/lNJQ6
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! September 24, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Sep 24 06:10:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/724pb8/daily_food_diary_september_24_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 24, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your latest grocery+food hauls!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Sep 24 06:10:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/724pas/sunday_share_your_latest_groceryfood_hauls/
---
Feel welcome to post pics of your latest and greatest hauls~! Consider adding commentary on:
* what country you're in
* what store, site, market or Co-op you shopped at
* how much you spent or any sweet deals you found
[Help] I'm constantly in a state of panic
/u/little-paws
Created: Sun Sep 24 05:47:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/724lwd/im_constantly_in_a_state_of_panic/
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I have 3 weeks and I need to have lost 8 pounds by then. I can't focus on anything else except restricting, going to the gym, and constant body checking.
I'm just panicking about not losing the weight on time, because I will just feel awful :( I can't focus on studying right now either.
I don't know what I need, help, reassurance, idk
[Other] Had to make a new account
/u/noidea744
Created: Sun Sep 24 05:01:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/724g19/had_to_make_a_new_account/
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I made the mistake of introducing my boyfriend to reddit and now I can't post from my old account incase he finds it. Anyway I'm looking for a people to talk to, as always lol. It's not like I can say to any of my friends irl that I'm so stressed and freaked out because I ate, ect I'm rather stressed and overwhelmed just now and it sucks I just want to talk openly with people
[Help] Advice please
/u/courtenaymersa95
Created: Sun Sep 24 04:20:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/724bg5/advice_please/
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[removed]
How long do you guys fast for??
/u/rosa1200
Created: Sun Sep 24 03:26:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7245cp/how_long_do_you_guys_fast_for/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Don't you just love shitting?
/u/toadally-grody [174.5cm / 47.3 / 15.2 / maintaining / F]
Created: Sun Sep 24 02:37:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/723zyy/dont_you_just_love_shitting/
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I dunno if this is an ED thing or not because I know lots of people say they enjoy the feeling, but doesn't having a huge poo just make you feel so much lighter and happy?
I also love weighing myself before and after... I did a 0.8kg one yesterday.
Signing off from my grossest post yet...
[Rant/Rave] I can't go on
/u/Smooth_N_Groove
Created: Sun Sep 24 02:02:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/723w3y/i_cant_go_on/
---
I can't take this anymore, I don't want to live another day. This hell I'm trapped in seems endless, I don't see the point in going on. I tried to get help, I went to a physiologist and after a month she told me I was fine and didn't need to see her anymore. Everyone thinks I'm fine but I'm not, everyday I hate myself a little more. Lose hope a little more. I don't want to end it all in the traditional way though, that would seem selfish. Instead I'm just going to keep on suffering behind closed doors, until my heart stops from the trauma I put it through. Just so, so empty, everything is empty and meaningless. Thanks for listening, I just needed somewhere to write this down. Maybe some of you understand.
[Discussion] Anyone else never relax?
/u/PurpleKatie
Created: Sun Sep 24 01:01:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/723ov6/anyone_else_never_relax/
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I feel like I never relax and I'm constantly aware of how I look to other people.
Im always sucking my gut in or lifting my head so I don't get a double chin or lifting my legs so they don't pancake on chairs.
If my friends start talking about health I'm immediately on guard and super uncomfortable.
Even walking about I'm constantly aware of how much space I take up and how people must look at me and think I'm disgusting.
I'm always really paranoid and i hate it.
Anyone else do anything like this?
[Rant/Rave] so far so good
/u/LivelyGhost [5'6" | CW: 141 | GW: 111 | -23 lbs]
Created: Sun Sep 24 00:19:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/723jwy/so_far_so_good/
---
So I recently moved into my dorm and all's been pretty well. All my friends moved to different universities so I know nobody here which makes me feel better tbh.
My roommate is a bit of a thick girl and one of the first things she told me was "you must have been tiny all your life" and deep down I know I'm not tiny because 140 isn't tiny at my height at all. But it did make me feel really nice, I must not look like complete shit.
The past three days it's been so easy to eat under 1000 calories too, to the point where I don't think about it either. I know eventually I'll reach a low point but for now, it's going smoothly. I also do a lot of walking too and nobody monitors my eating habits, and god, have I just mentioned that this is great? I also can't weigh myself so it eliminates a lot of the anxiety that comes with weighing myself a lot in a day.
Lowkey, I don't care for my roommate's friend at all from the moment I saw her. Do you ever just see someone and you just think "shut the fuck up" before they even speak? That's me with her. Something about her vibe is just pbbbththtnt
But yeah, that's my little word vomit for now
[Discussion] [discussion] PSL with almond milk - any good?
/u/pumpkinchailatte [5'2 | CW 130 | GW 110 | -25]
Created: Sun Sep 24 00:07:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/723ifv/discussion_psl_with_almond_milk_any_good/
---
I have enough Starbucks 'stars' to whatever free drink I want and to hell if I'm not going to have at least 1 proper PSL this winter.
Besides my normal calorie reducers - skim milk/half sweet/no whip... I'm wondering if almond milk would be any good? I have liked the taste of almond milk in a couple of the drinks I've tried but I do find it has a distinctive taste. So can anybody comment if it works with a PSL or if I should just stick with the skim milk?
[Rant/Rave] I starve myself to feel less human.
/u/doyouhearthatbatsy [5'7" | -55lbs | Genderless Void]
Created: Sat Sep 23 23:45:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/723fi7/i_starve_myself_to_feel_less_human/
---
I loathe the necessity of eating. Every time I eat, I feel as though I'm being further shackled to this earth, to this body. Even now, I haven't eaten in a few days, but I still *have* to drink water, *have* to take vitamins, *have* to piss and shit. It's all so revolting and undignified and suffocating. I just want to be some sort of intangible being, removed, hidden, and free.
It's incredible to think about how food used to be an escape and a comfort. Now, it just flagrantly and plainly reminds me of the worst parts of being a human being.
...may delete this later.
[Rant/Rave] seriously need to rant to somebody
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 23 23:35:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/723e8u/seriously_need_to_rant_to_somebody/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] How much weight do you wanna lose by Christmas, and how are you going to achieve it?
/u/sadanna [5'4 | CW: 120 | a 20 y/o gay girl]
Created: Sat Sep 23 23:31:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/723dri/how_much_weight_do_you_wanna_lose_by_christmas/
---
Ive been in a horrible binge cycle for a while now. I think I'm finally on the up to where I can start watching what I eat, and counting calories.
I want to lose 15-25 pounds by Christmas. That is my next goal. I want to see what else y'all are thinking about achieving by Christmas:) it would be lovely to hear different thoughts and goals❤️❤💕
[Rant/Rave] I'm so done
/u/ThisIsGumpy
Created: Sat Sep 23 22:45:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72374w/im_so_done/
---
I'm done with gaining weight. I'm done with too many cookies. I'm done with icecream. I'm so fucking done with being fat.
I can fix this. I know how to fix this. No more binges, no more "you deserve it"
Because I don't. I look at myself and my god I have ruined my body. I hate this.
No more first days. This is it.
Only 4 rules:
1. Stick to calorie limit
2. No binges
3. Exercise every day
4. No chocolate (major trigger)
Anyone feel free to ask me how I'm doing with this. Anytime
[Other] My vegan friend showed me these at Walmart today. Also, I told my bf about my ED and I'm finally in recovery. Wish me luck!
/u/pinkpygmypuff
Created: Sat Sep 23 22:27:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7234hw/my_vegan_friend_showed_me_these_at_walmart_today/
---
https://i.redd.it/6uvezeucdrnz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] The soy milk and coconut milk @ starbucks are sweetened
/u/plantbasedpumpkin
Created: Sat Sep 23 22:15:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7232md/the_soy_milk_and_coconut_milk_starbucks_are/
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Ok so my biggest ED rule (besides calorie counting, obviously) is that I do NOT eat ANY added sugars. Like I just don't. Sugar is SO bad for you.
And maybe I'm a total dumbass for assuming the soy milk was sugar free at a chain store like starbucks, but I did. When I make a soy milk latte at HOME, it's 80 calories and no sugar. AT STARBUCKS IT 190 AND HAS 18 GRAMS OF SUGAR.
All the times I mis-logged that. UGH. I'm so upset about this. Now I have to switch to thee almond milk.
[Help] Hiding Weight-loss
/u/_NoNameNecessary_ [5'3" | CW 131lb | GW 100lb | BMI 23 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 23 22:12:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72329n/hiding_weightloss/
---
My mom has been asking about my weight a lot lately. She has even asked me if I have an ed. Any ideas on how I can hide my weight-loss from her either through the way I look or with excuses?
[Help] I want to begin working out
/u/CandidTriceratops [5'5'' | 195.6 | 32.45 | -29.4lbs | M]
Created: Sat Sep 23 21:59:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/723040/i_want_to_begin_working_out/
---
I saw multiple ads today about running before a movie started at the cinema today and it made me think about wanting to work out.
I want to gain a bit of muscle and lose more fat, I would like to run but I am a complete couch potato. I also find that my legs are too much muscle while my arms are not enough. How can I reduce my calf muscles (they are seriously huge, even while obese they look like chicken legs) and gain a bit in my arms without being a huge gym rat. I've never worked out before.
[Rant/Rave] I can't....
/u/coffeebean27
Created: Sat Sep 23 21:43:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/722xig/i_cant/
---
I had my wisdom teeth pulled out so I've been mostly drinking liquid. Although I was feeling bad bc I was drinking heavily gh calorie stuff. So I was trying to eat some bread when my aunt came in and said "you shouldn't be eating that. why don't you eat jello or go to sleep" what the hell... ?!?! If you only knew how much I of a struggle food is. I purge and starve and your telling me to stop eating?? I feel so fat and I want to purge. But I can't because it might cause an infection. I honestly feel like such a fatass that I don't even care risking an infection if it means feeling less crappy. I want to scream and cry... I'm just going to sleep and wake up tomorrow and run and starve the shit out of myself. Screw this... The day I'm sick and they realize it, then they'll be begging me to eat.
[Other] Hope I won't fail (again)
/u/lumosxnox [5'2, 123lbs, 22.49 BMI, GW 105lbs]
Created: Sat Sep 23 21:27:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/722uyv/hope_i_wont_fail_again/
---
Tomorrow (Sunday) starts my first week back to intense restriction. I've been doing meal prep and while it's helped I need to go more hard core to keep myself sane. Because even though all of my meals have been under 400 calories and I only ate once a day it made me feel *guilty as fuck*.
I have:
•Mio (for electrolytes & B vitamins)
• 4 different vegan broths [mushroom (15), vegetable (15), "beef" (15), and miso (35)]
•Mushrooms (to occasionally add one to the broth)
•Vegan hot dogs (50)
•35 cal bread (to use in place of a hot do bun)
•Mustard
My goal is to not exceed 150-200 a day for the next week.
Trying to reach *105lbs* before the end of the year (5'2 & 126lbs rn, don't know how to make my stats go next to my user name 😬)
Wish me luck friends 🙃
[Rant/Rave] So... what the fuck?.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 23 21:10:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/722se2/so_what_the_fuck/
---
[removed]
[Help] Advice for 14 to 30 day fast for weight loss
/u/ziyal79
Created: Sat Sep 23 21:00:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/722quk/advice_for_14_to_30_day_fast_for_weight_loss/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] A coworker said I didn't look anorexic
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 23 20:58:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/722qhn/a_coworker_said_i_didnt_look_anorexic/
---
[deleted]
[Help] I just need to be better.
/u/ibizadaydreams [5'1 | CW120 | 22.7 | GW95| F]
Created: Sat Sep 23 20:23:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/722klq/i_just_need_to_be_better/
---
I'm going on my trip in 69 days and I NEED to be less than 100lbs by the time we start the trip. I want people to look at me and wonder how I did it. To see just how much I wanted it. I want to take amazing pictures on my trip. I want to come back after being away for 6 months and to look like a completely different person.
I used to have so much control. I feel like I've lost control of everything in my life. With my eating, my job, and my spending.
I fucking hate it.
I'm off for the next three days. I will see how long I can fast for. I don't want to set an amount of time... I just want to see how long I can go.
I need this, damn it.
How can I get myself back on track? Ugh.
[Rant/Rave] Going to fast until I pass out
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 23 18:41:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7222s3/going_to_fast_until_i_pass_out/
---
[deleted]
[Intro] Guess who's back, back again.
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 146 lbs | 21.96 BMI | F]
Created: Sat Sep 23 18:31:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7220xf/guess_whos_back_back_again/
---
Well it's been a damn good year.
A year of getting stronger and healthier than I've ever been. Living in my dream city, making some damn good friends, finally finding a job I love. I've started powerlifting, gotten my yoga teacher certification, and gained 20 pounds.
Fuck.
I was doing really well being happy with the healthy and all that but now I just can't anymore. I'm finding myself body checking, weighing myself every day, grabbing handfuls of belly fat and jiggling it. I've even started some negative self-talk in front of other people which has always been a HUGE no-no for me. Aaaaaaand I'm counting calories. And I'm right back in it.
I don't want to get weak and small, but I want to be beautiful and in control. I don't want to lose my strength gains and my happiness, but I HAVE to get this fat off or I will lose my mind. It's all back, and I don't know what to do.
First inclination is to ride the wave and see if I can just lower my body fat % without doing anything dangerous. But. I know me. And dangerous is going to be my middle name.
Fuck.
[Goal] Tomorrow.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 23 18:24:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/721zp3/tomorrow/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Guess who's back, back again.
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 146 lbs | 21.96 BMI | F]
Created: Sat Sep 23 18:20:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/721yw0/guess_whos_back_back_again/
---
Well it's been a damn good year.
A year of getting stronger and healthier than I've ever been. Living in my dream city, making some damn good friends, finally finding a job I love. I've started powerlifting, gotten my yoga teacher certification, and gained 20 pounds.
Fuck.
I was doing really well being happy with the healthy and all that but now I just can't anymore. I'm finding myself body checking, weighing myself every day, grabbing handfuls of belly fat and jiggling it. I've even started some negative self-talk in front of other people which has always been a HUGE no-no for me. Aaaaaaand I'm counting calories. And I'm right back in it.
I don't want to get weak and small, but I want to be beautiful and in control. I don't want to lose my strength gains and my happiness, but I HAVE to get this fat off or I will lose my mind. It's all back, and I don't know what to do.
First inclination is to ride the wave and see if I can just lower my body fat % without doing anything dangerous. But. I know me. And dangerous is going to be my middle name.
Fuck.
[Discussion] [Anorexia… Athletic & Metabolic Benefits]
/u/LMichaelM [KetoFaster! M59 5'9" 10%BF cw140# gw130#]
Created: Sat Sep 23 18:01:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/721vdn/anorexia_athletic_metabolic_benefits/
---
So… *Whodathunkit?* But this is for real, not clickbait, not hyperbolic quackery – this sh!t carries weight, if you'll pardon a bad pun.
[On mobile; cannot flair. Sorry!]
https://youtu.be/QpRZ84Gegdc
[Tip] Seems the ED gods may not be the ones responsible for a WHOOSH 😉
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Sat Sep 23 17:55:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/721ub3/seems_the_ed_gods_may_not_be_the_ones_responsible/
---
https://www.trustyspotter.com/blog/whoosh-effect
[Help] Binged again. Need support.
/u/drinkinshamepain
Created: Sat Sep 23 17:51:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/721tod/binged_again_need_support/
---
Had a terrible fight with my mom today so what did i decide to do? Bought a bag of hot cheetos and ate it in less than 4 minutes while crying at the same time and since it wasn't enough self harm i went to get one of those nutella & go things and proceeded to eat it really fast too, didn't even taste it, i just needed to feel that in my stomach.
Since i'm home from college and i have the flu and a sore throat i can't throw up and i'm still depressed af 🙃🙃🙃
[Rant/Rave] Have had to eat every day and my anxiety is eating me alive. How am I supposed to cope?
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Sat Sep 23 17:50:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/721tgf/have_had_to_eat_every_day_and_my_anxiety_is/
---
Because of my job and school I've been really, really struggling to restrict. It's so physical and for so many hours in the day that I can't get through it without eating every four or five hours. My weight loss has basically stopped, and I feel so huge and so bloated all the time, but I can't go back to restricting without fainting or getting sick at work.
Not losing weight every day is destroying me emotionally, I'm a nervous wreck. I'm always shaking, I've started grinding my teeth again, and I snap at *everyone*. I'll start crying over nothing at least once a day, usually somewhere public and embarrassing.
I just don't know what to do. If I keep restricting and fasting, it'll ruin my career and school. If I keep eating, I'll get fat, and I honestly think I'll lose my mind.
[Goal] They say relationships make you gain weight
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Sat Sep 23 17:48:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/721t55/they_say_relationships_make_you_gain_weight/
---
I just lost the weight I gained from the last 2 years of my relationships in the last 2 months 😍😍
[Thinspo] Thinspo.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Sat Sep 23 17:28:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/721phk/thinspo/
---
https://i.redd.it/a6yi4iu1wpnz.jpg
[Intro] Back again and needing some reassurance
/u/lilmdjd [5'2 | CW: 125 (ugh recovery) | GW: 100| 22F]
Created: Sat Sep 23 17:15:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/721n6e/back_again_and_needing_some_reassurance/
---
Hi lovelies!
I used to be a lot more active, but was in a treatment program for a few months and then attempted to maintain recovery. I relapsed and went into a deep bout of depression, which I was given anti-depressants for which made my appetite insane and I ended up gaining 7 lbs OVER my restored weight. I recently have been taken off of them and I'm desperately trying to lose at least the 7 lbs I gained.
Because of recovery, I was maintaining at like 2000+ calories a day, and as a result restricting even at 1200 has been so difficult. Im convinced somewhere along the way something weird happened and my metabolism slowed back down again because I am on week two of eating 1200 and doing 45 min of cardio a day and my weight has barely moved. Can someone please reassure me that if I keep up this routine it will eventually come off? I am so so uncomfortable in my body and just desperate to feel at least slightly normal again.
[Rant/Rave] I don't have a life because of my ED
/u/ci-fre [F]
Created: Sat Sep 23 16:36:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/721fs3/i_dont_have_a_life_because_of_my_ed/
---
I'm in college right now and I feel I don't have a life. I don't have any non academic interests I'm passionate about, besides what I eat and planning my food. I don't understand the concept of, "do what you're interested in" because I don't want to join any clubs or do anything interesting. I feel pathetic because my friends seem to be part of clubs and idk... go to parties and have a life.
To be honest, what I really enjoy and look forward to is eating food that I have planned because I strictly control what I eat and it's like a reward to me... I feel really pathetic saying that. Can anyone else relate?
[Goal] Finally weighed myself. I'm in disbelief.
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 93ish |17ish| 20F]
Created: Sat Sep 23 16:30:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/721eqk/finally_weighed_myself_im_in_disbelief/
---
I finally got to weigh myself today after an entire month of not weighing myself.
I went from 100lbs to 93lbs in a month. I am absolutely shocked. I feel like the scale must be wrong. I must be reading it wrong or something.
I still feel like I look absolutely disgusting. I'm so conflicted right now. I mean, the number 93 is almost at my all time low weight, but at the same time, I'm still so dissatisfied with my appearance that it doesn't even matter.
Oh well, at least all of the restricting has been paying off.
[Discussion] Calorie Limits
/u/_NoNameNecessary_ [5'3" | CW 131lb | GW 100lb | BMI 23 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 23 15:54:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7217b4/calorie_limits/
---
[removed]
[Other] This was posted on r/foodporn and it's giving me anxiety
/u/officialrogersmith
Created: Sat Sep 23 15:25:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7211ij/this_was_posted_on_rfoodporn_and_its_giving_me/
---
https://i.redd.it/t3l4k0j2apnz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I feel like I've disappointed my mother
/u/ruralfishingcat [5'5 | 122 | 20.5 | - 5 | 21 F]
Created: Sat Sep 23 14:59:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/720w46/i_feel_like_ive_disappointed_my_mother/
---
So today my mother and I were in the car talking about mental illness (I have OCD and depression, she's fortunately super supportive).
I was talking about the connection between mental illness and substance abuse. And my mother said that through all my disorders she was really glad I had never struggled with an eating disorder, because they were really tough to deal with and you *have* to eat which makes recovery more complicated.
I just agreed and slowly changed the subject. I'm sorry mom ☹️
[Tip] Everyone who is proed should watch this documentary.. It changed my life and is on Netflix..
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 23 14:55:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/720v9d/everyone_who_is_proed_should_watch_this/
---
https://youtu.be/tyEcOdE00xQ
[Other] -the art of being empty
/u/mildolconf [5'9" | 134.2 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 23 13:53:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/720hx2/the_art_of_being_empty/
---
https://i.redd.it/q6hqbqsotonz.jpg
[Discussion] Thinking of starting a twitter related to my ED and other shitty things in my life, who's in?
/u/lightfeathers [5'4" | CW 112 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 23 13:50:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/720hbv/thinking_of_starting_a_twitter_related_to_my_ed/
---
I haven't used twitter in years but peach wasn't really working out for me.
Anyway, comment your twitter handles below! I'd love to follow you guys! :)
My twitter is @ramlyn19, if any of you were wondering
[Thinspo] thinspo for my bodytype
/u/commtra [5'7 | BMI: 21 | GW:100 | -44 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 23 13:42:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/720fh4/thinspo_for_my_bodytype/
---
https://i.redd.it/3tpn7fsoronz.jpg
[Thinspo] thinspo for my bodytype
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 23 13:41:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/720f9s/thinspo_for_my_bodytype/
---
[deleted]
[Other] Leave me to Self Destruct
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 19bmi | -140 | 30F | AU]
Created: Sat Sep 23 13:34:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/720dun/leave_me_to_self_destruct/
---
My husband sometimes "randomly" decides to get cookies or order in or whatever. Last week he got chic chip and I honestly have a hard time a hard time saying no if it's a fav food in front of my face. I told him I would not allow myself to eat cookies. He said to "cut this weight bullshit, look at you you're thin, don't make me go to the doctors with you. I'm tired of this."
Last night he ordered me chicken tenders when he got a burger. Id chew and spit if it came yo that, I just can't psychically purge anymore, but all our cups are glass...
Idk where I'm going with this
I want to senf destruct without interference
[Rant/Rave] I can't remember the last day I didn't purge...
/u/digital2939
Created: Sat Sep 23 13:12:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72094z/i_cant_remember_the_last_day_i_didnt_purge/
---
I've seen the pictures, I've read the bulmia horror stories, but it's like I can't justify not purging. I think to myself: "why absorb these calories when you can do something about it?". I've been binging and purging for weeks straight. My stomach fucking hurts, my throat is sore, I know the adverse health effects of purging yet I keep doing it. What the hell is wrong with me??????
[Discussion] What apps do you use?
/u/burningthroughtime
Created: Sat Sep 23 12:59:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72064f/what_apps_do_you_use/
---
Do you use calorie counting apps or weightloss apps or fitness apps? If so, which ones? I am already using MFP and I used fitbit in the past, but I kind of want something that won't shame me if I undereat. Please recommend.
[Help] First instinct was to eat... not throw away
/u/canyouuseabowl
Created: Sat Sep 23 12:54:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72056b/first_instinct_was_to_eat_not_throw_away/
---
My parents are coming to visit me, so I wanted to make sure the foods they bought me were consumed so they don't think I'm going insane. So I got out the (unopened) chips, got a serving, added some guacamole, and had a nice like 220 calorie snack.
Then it hit me.
Previously, my instinct would have been to count out 9 chips and toss them, scoop out the guac and toss it, to make it seem like I ate it. but I ATE IT AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO FEEL GUYS.
[Discussion] Bubble tea?
/u/saltfruit [6'2" | 188 | M]
Created: Sat Sep 23 12:46:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7203dl/bubble_tea/
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Neither of the bubble tea places near my university post calorie counts, and I can’t make myself order anything unless I know *for sure* (MFP forum estimates don’t cut it ahah). Does anyone have advice? Should I just totally abstain?
[Rant/Rave] My fiancé is cooking me a special dinner...
/u/tinywolfxo [5'4"|CW 123.4|HW 162|GW 105| F]
Created: Sat Sep 23 12:31:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/72004s/my_fiancé_is_cooking_me_a_special_dinner/
---
And I've calculated the calorie estimate and it's going to be at least 2600 calories for the day, and that's without eating anything before dinner 😭😭😭. I'm so excited because the food sounds so good, he's making a three course meal, and he's a great cook. But I'm also because, ya know, it's filled with fat and calories. I've been working out hardcore and restricting from a smaller 2000 calorie binge earlier this week, so I'm hoping maaaaayyybeee, it will cause a whoosh even though I literally just had one (and lost two pounds this week) so I'm afraid it's just going to make the scale go up. Pray for me. Now I have to go burn at least 1200 calories and I'm so SORE from my workout yesterday 😭
Tell me to just be happy that my awesome fiancé is spoiling me and forget about the weight gain.
[Other] My little glass hen & her (Bronk-Aid) eggs [other]
/u/Franny___Glass [5'8" | 104.8 lb. | 15.76 | f]
Created: Sat Sep 23 12:17:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71zx26/my_little_glass_hen_her_bronkaid_eggs_other/
---
https://imgur.com/a/eypug
[Rant/Rave] Guilty.
/u/urbbymuva
Created: Sat Sep 23 12:01:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71zthz/guilty/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I cant stop
/u/WhatsAMooseSay [5'5 | CW: 204.6 lbs | -70.4lbs | GW: 115 | 26F]
Created: Sat Sep 23 11:34:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71znir/i_cant_stop/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Post fast foods?
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Sat Sep 23 11:32:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71zn69/post_fast_foods/
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I just finished a fast and I’m 4 pounds down. Idk what to eat that won’t make me balloon. What are your post fast foods??
[Rant/Rave] Weight loss yay!
/u/StopBeingShit
Created: Sat Sep 23 11:12:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71ziro/weight_loss_yay/
---
[removed]
[Help] thigh gap potential?
/u/thegirlwhochanged [5'0 |CW 109.6| GW 102| UGW 95 | 21.4 | -6.4 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 23 10:55:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71zew9/thigh_gap_potential/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] September 23rd, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 23 10:48:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71zdgk/september_23rd_2017_question_of_the_day/
---
Write down a quote for today:
(Sorry for the delay, I was in bed for 12 hours hating myself for my 5600 calorie binge last night, probably my biggest one yet. Thanks Daiya cheezecake, mac and cheeze, and peanut butter fuck me)
[Discussion] What is the science behind a whoosh???
/u/champu-petal
Created: Sat Sep 23 10:19:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71z7ae/what_is_the_science_behind_a_whoosh/
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i just had one guys, i feel like i'm floating on a cloud. but seriously, how does this work biologically?? i'm a physicist myself so i don't know much about bio, but i'm so curious about how weight can just drop off like that
[Other] A review of Brittany Burgunder's ED memoir "Safety in Numbers"
/u/Dr0pDex [172cm | 45.3kg | 15.04]
Created: Sat Sep 23 09:17:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71yu19/a_review_of_brittany_burgunders_ed_memoir_safety/
---
For those of you who don't know, Brittany Burgunder is the girl in [this](https://thoughtcatalog.files.wordpress.com/2017/03/screen-shot-2017-03-16-at-4-24-24-pm.png?w=598&h=590) picture. At 5'5, her low weight was 56 pounds and her highest weight (after treatment) was 221 pounds.
Yes, *after treatment*. I'm sure some of you are panicking right now. "Oh god, treatment just makes you fat." Well, that's not the case. Unfortunately, Brittany's circumstances are very unique.
The first part of the book in which Brittany is anorexic is one of the most compelling things I've read in a long time, mainly because I love psychological stuff. The entire book is told in her journals, which I believe have been slightly edited, but are still pretty raw.
There's so much psychologically to analyze in this book. The current Brittany from her social media and her non-journal entries seems like a really sweet girl, but she's an absolute *nightmare* when she's dealing with her eating disorder, to the point where I have to wonder if some of it was exaggerated to get the point across of "Look how bad I was! There's hope for you too!"
She's obsessed with chewing on ice and tries to negotiate with doctors, at one point having a meltdown because she's supposed to have six ice cups and now they want her to start drinking actual water. One nurse refuses to work with her anymore because she spends two minutes at snack complaining her celery is too big. She manipulates "sitters" while inpatient into throwing away food for her and writing her weight as higher than it actually is. She constantly asks her parents and doctors if she still looks anorexic after gaining a few ounces, and freaks out if anyone says she looks better.
There's also some really trippy stuff in here, which further increases how interesting the psychological concepts are. At one point nurses report behavior such as her waking up in the middle of the night, going into other people's rooms, and endlessly drinking water, which she swears in her journal never happened and that everyone's plotting against her.
When she's at her absolute lowest weight, the journals do properly reflect the horrors of being a single-digit BMI. She completely loses control of her bowels and is on the verge of death...yet still constantly slips back into the "I need to lose weight" mindset. For every time she writes "I look like death and want to get better.", she writes three more times about hiding food/calories and hoping she's lost weight tomorrow.
For some completely unrealistic reason, people keep giving her chances. She gets privileges in the hospital faster than I've seen anyone else get them, only to lose them again almost immediately by taking advantage of them. She gets discharged, promises to her parents to get better, only to lose weight again and have to be emergency admitted.
It's a vicious cycle until we get to the turning point in the book. She's been discharged from her most recent hospital weighing seventy-something pounds. One night, something in her brain just *snaps*. Her sister is having a sleepover, and they have all kinds of snacks, so she decides "fuck you, ED, I'm going to have some snacks too." With one bite, she goes all-out into a 5,000+ calorie binge.
The problem with this is that...well, her *dad* is proud of it! She wakes him up to show him that she's eating and he's amazed. This happens multiple times, though her dad does interrupt her when *he* feels like she's gone too far (after 3,000+ calories at least...she then goes back to her room and secretly continues her binge on hoarded food). She's gaining weight from these binge cycles and is terrified, yet feels she can't stop. No one's trying to help her get out of this cycle, because it's good, right? She needs to gain weight anyways.
Time skip. She's 150 pounds and at a fat camp. These journal entries go completely back into the whining and manipulation. "Why has no one brought me sugar-free gum yet?!" She finds ways to binge at fat camp and continues to detriorate until she reaches her highest weight, having gained 165 pounds in 16 months. She also starts abusing laxatives for the first time in her life.
At this point the book gets kind of boring and repetitive. One day's journal entry is "Fuck you, ED, I'm done with this!", while the next day is "I decided today I just really needed a binge so my mom gave me the credit card." (?!?!) I kept reading because I wanted to get to the stuff about how she broke free of this cycle and became the healthy individual she is today.
Except...the details of that aren't in there. The journals end, and suddenly in her afterward piece, she's all better.
Which leaves the question: how is this supposed to help someone struggling like she intends it to? She writes at the end specifically to those struggling, telling them they *can* do it and all this motivational stuff, but she neglected to mention how she did it.
Overall, would I recommend this book? Definitely not to anyone who's considering recovery. The first part made me feel inadequate. I've been told I "almost died" before, but I was never a single-digit BMI, losing control of my bowels, etc. Her heart rate at her lowest was lower than mine (she got down into the 20s, I never got lower than the 40s). I certainly wasn't intending to be *jealous* of her horrific state, but someone struggling with their ED shouldn't be indulging in all these details for comparison.
I also couldn't help but feel like a lot of the reason she got so bad is because of a series of unfortunate events in which it seems like everyone who's trying to help her is incompetent. Her treatment is ridiculously lenient at times. Her parents have no idea how to really help her. This could easily scare someone away from recovery.
If you're just looking for something new and ED-related to read, it might be worth checking out and certainly relatable at times. If I was going to put it in my Goodreads I'd give it 3 out of 5 stars, but I can't put it in my Goodreads because I have family members on Goodreads lol.
[Discussion] Do you guys fixate on one food?
/u/AngelicZero [5'5.5"| fat | -39 lbs | 115 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 23 08:52:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71yots/do_you_guys_fixate_on_one_food/
---
Like right now all I want to eat is apples... they taste good and don't make me feel afraid of going over my calorie limit. I tend to fixate on a food and want to eat a lot of it. I'll randomly move on to a new food. I always have a "thing" food.
Yesterday I had 2 apples and some beef jerky. Then I went out to a bar and all I really thought about was apples when I got hungry..? My friend put me on his tab and I still didn't try to order any delicious bar food.
Paid off because I woke up 4 pounds lighter than my last weigh in.
[Help] takeout for under 500 cals?? help??
/u/7376549 [male | 165.5cm | cw 62kg | gw 50kg |]
Created: Sat Sep 23 08:50:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71yoiz/takeout_for_under_500_cals_help/
---
okay i don’t know how possible this will be & i’m kind of in a panic so forgive me lol i’m SO sorry but
basically my roommate & i are getting takeout tonight & i have to have *something* or she’ll know something’s up
i cannot have more than 500 cals
i live in the UK, we pretty much have all your standard places like pizza, chinese, indian, idk
i’m vegan too so that probably scrapes off a few cals.. probably
anyone have any suggestions? i’m getting panicky already & we won’t even be ordering for another 2 hours 😭😭😭😭
[Discussion] Did having an ED make you more competitive or more empathetic?
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'3"|110| 25F]
Created: Sat Sep 23 08:49:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71yoef/did_having_an_ed_make_you_more_competitive_or/
---
Idk I used to be super competitive so I can prove to myself and everyone else I was "sick enough" or "sicker than her" etc but years later I'm just like
I can relate to most of you and I absolutely fucking hate competition and want to punch myself whenever I feel too proud or competitive
If it was a race what am I winning and who am I even racing against lol
So I'd say I'm more empathetic with EDs and I'm happier that in that aspect I've changed....I'd like to think 💭
[Goal] 0 in the tens place for the first time ever
/u/bananapeppr [161.3//5'3.5" | 49.6//109.4 | 19.5 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 23 08:35:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71ylmc/0_in_the_tens_place_for_the_first_time_ever/
---
I hit a new adult low of 109.4!!! Feels like a milestone somehow. My husband can't stop touching/complimenting my body which is really validating and really triggering af to lose more lmao
[Other] Untitled poem by Willow
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sat Sep 23 08:33:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71yl39/untitled_poem_by_willow/
---
On mobile flair as rant rave or discussion.
"You don't even look sick" they said, my stomach sank into the void while eyes gathered tires as if to extinguish a fire but none would fall from my face.
I collected in the bathroom in the mirror of all places, picking myself apart with words sharp as razors, if only they knew itd been days but who'd believe me,
I don't wear it well like the celebrities or deceased I look average and like I'm calling for attention, a special snowflake caught before a heat lamp, quickly dissolving from their reality.
A reverse butterfly drawn into my cocoon to emerge smaller than before, a flower so elegantly being stripped of its petals by the nature and friction of time.
"You're not sick" I say to my sad reflection and I'm caught in my stare. Disappearing to a stall to complete my prayer, my knees on uneasy floors I shed the tears from days before.
It won't always be like this is my conviction and still I massacre my insides, my illness transcends the emotions killing my outsides with every move,
One day they we will believe but i will be too late to save, ill be to close to the grave. A slave.
Willow.
[Other] prose (inspired by willow to post)
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 19bmi | -140 | 30F | AU]
Created: Sat Sep 23 08:03:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71yfja/prose_inspired_by_willow_to_post/
---
(two recent)
***calling***
each morning I fear the bathroom
like the reaper calling me
but I’m calling him
***heaven***
the feeling
of the fade
before the
fall
is like
touching
the edge of
heaven
I have more but I'm not very great. this may look different depending on what platform you're on but heaven and calling are seperate :P
-lizzie
[Other] I just binged on a slice of pizza, three ice creams and a hot chocolate.
/u/whatisthisshow2002 [5'2.5" | CW: 🐳 47kg 🐳 | GW: 40 kg | UGW: Just wanna be loved]
Created: Sat Sep 23 07:50:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71yda2/i_just_binged_on_a_slice_of_pizza_three_ice/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE not even bother logging exercise?
/u/MhmStephany [5'3" |-44 lbs | UGW 101]
Created: Sat Sep 23 07:40:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71ybij/dae_not_even_bother_logging_exercise/
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I started going to the gym a month ago, 3 times a week. I would attempt to log my calories likely burned, not what the machine says I burned because that shit is a LIE, and then inevitably eat back those calories. I’m not really going to the gym for the weight loss aspect, although it helps things along, but more for toning muscles because yknow going from 190 lbs to 118 lbs back up to 190 lbs and back down to the 140s in the span of 4 years really fucks up your body composition and I look like a blob monster covered in stretch marks and cellulite and visceral disgusting fat ~~sorry I’m getting carried away.~~
**Sorry long detailed paragraphs ahead**
Anyone have experience with low restriction and exercise? How did it work on your body? My food/ exercise routine is kind of loose, but generally I spend an hour to an hour and a half at the gym actually exercising, with 15 min on the stair stepper at 5 mph, then 30 min on the treadmill at around 3-4 MPH, with a 3-6 incline. Then weight lifting alternating arms and leg machines, don’t ask the weights because I honestly just pick the weight that’s a little too heavy and then do 3 sets of either 8 or 10 depending on the heaviness. I use about 3-4 weight lifting machines for arms and legs respectively so 6-8 machines total. Then 10-20 minutes of stationary exercise with an app alternating strength and cardio. The few times I did try to log it usually came around 130 calories burned with my underestimating and I’m eating at around 330-500 a day. Food varies wildly and I don’t count macros, protein, fat, carb, none of that stuff. I know my exercise routine isn’t impressive but I was NEVER a fit sporty person and this is actually the longest I’ve ever gone going to the gym regularly so over time hopefully I can push myself more.
Tl;dr gym is confusing, I’m still fat, calories are the devil.
[Discussion] How many of you have a parent/family member with an ED?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 23 07:38:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71yb9b/how_many_of_you_have_a_parentfamily_member_with/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Seeing myself this morning...
/u/mildolconf [5'9" | 134.2 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 23 07:06:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71y5pj/seeing_myself_this_morning/
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This is so stupid but it's literally pit of my stomach, pain in my chest upset. Legit almost to tears getting dressed to workout this morning bc of how fat & ugly I am. Ruined my morning seeing myself & how grotesque I've let myself get & how ugly I am when weight goes to my face & without makeup. I feel SO emotional & down wtf.
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! September 23, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Sep 23 06:10:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71xx8e/stupid_questions_saturday_september_23_2017/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for September 23, 2017.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! September 23, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Sep 23 06:09:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71xx1f/daily_food_diary_september_23_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 23, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] Lockjaw is helping me stop purging
/u/AsleepAnvils [5'3" | CW:116 | GW:105 | 20F]
Created: Sat Sep 23 05:40:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71xsre/lockjaw_is_helping_me_stop_purging/
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It's the weirdest fucking thing.
It'a not helping me recover or get less disordered in any way, but because I know I can't purge, I don't eat excessive amounts of food that I'll later regret. I'm capping myself at 600 calories a day in food.
Basically I have an impacted wisdom tooth that has spread to my jaw, meaning I can only open my mouth an inch or so (also meaning I eat much slower!).
As painful as this is, it feels like the best thing that's ever happened to me.
[Discussion] Is anyone taking Prozac for bulimia?
/u/coconutfi [5'9" | CW: 128 | GW: 116 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 23 03:38:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71xdjt/is_anyone_taking_prozac_for_bulimia/
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I just started taking it for depression, but I looked online and it says it can treat depression, anxiety (even social anxiety), OCD, and bulimia.
Considering I have depression, social anxiety, and a form of bulimia I'm kind of like??? Could this be a magic pill?
I'm not getting my hopes up too high, but after a week of 20mg pills my depression has lessened and today was the first day I didn't binge drink and eat in almost 2 weeks.
So I'm just curious has anyone had success with Prozac?
[Other] Limited. A poem by Willow.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sat Sep 23 02:29:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71x5ph/limited_a_poem_by_willow/
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On mobile flair as rant or art or discussion or something.
I got out my pen and began to write, all of the laws and the rules, to follow to a "T" without question to do as I'm told.
Nothing that spreads, melts or for fun I'd eat only things bland without taste, never portion more than the palm or the thumb to keep from making too much waste,
I sat there in silence as I had gone mad with the rules I had given myself, prescription for my addiction and liberation and salvation so far from what'd be good for my health,
Not before noon and not after two and not in from of strangers or anyone I knew,
alone and solitary staring at my plate, others enjoy what I claim to hate. I tell them I'm allergic or picky, just a lie, when really to gain another pound id much rather die.
I built my box and sadly it was too small, I ripped out the seems and I painted the walls, crimson and blue from blood and my tears, in the darkness I toss and turn from all of my fears,
It was a mad world where I wanted to rule, only to be society's fool, tricked in to buying what I didn't want, limited and powerless to the dogmatic taunt.
To be skinny was to be beautiful, envied and wanted. I sold my soul to vanity just to be accepted and to loved only to be switched, rejected from below to above.
Watch me disappear, i can only do it one time, don't take your eyes off me, I swear I am doing just fine, all will be revealed when the prestige is presented I will no longer be,
no longer repented but healed from my ashes, burning with desire, to be more that what In this fire, distorted. Limited.
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] I have a shitty personality so maybe I'll just be alone forever. Also I don't see ever being "recovered"
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sat Sep 23 01:50:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71x18v/i_have_a_shitty_personality_so_maybe_ill_just_be/
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On mobile flair as rant rave..
I am cynical, pessimistic, hypocritical, probably a narcissist among other things. My concern for how bad I look is probably bordering on vanity at this point. I criticize every little thing about myself and somehow give the rest of the world a pass. So moving on. I feel like if I get to my goal weight I will still be a shitty person. I am very empathic I feel like but I have so many negative traits.
I see heavier women and men and think they carry their weight better even guys with ponches and beer guts and I feel like I'm just a pale squishy mess. I hate my broad shoulders, wider hips, wide feet, far enormous legs that one could land a pan on I hate my huge misshapen butt and my short arms, stubby fingers, stretch marks, scars, paleness, my face. I just wish I could be conventionally attractive or someone's type but I'm not in no one's type no one tells me in pretty, handsome or attractive or her uncomfortable talking to me outside me being quiet and awkward
I met a local internet celebrity from my city, he s a 500lb rapper and comedian and somehow I thought he was more attractive than I was and in that moment my diysphoria got the best of me and I felt enormous even next to a 6 foot tall, 500 plus pound man. I also thought he s more than 2 of me or may be almost 3 and I wish I could be a 5th of him. Smaller. Smaller. Smaller.
I want to be 120 may be less. A bmi that's unhealthy and unattainable for who the fuck knows why. I want to look like a corpse. I want to be a skeleton. Bones. I don't want to jiggle when I move. I want my bones to crack from the lack of fat and muscle cushioning me. I want my clothes to hang and drape from me like a wire mannequin..a coat hanger with arms and legs. I want smalls and extra smalls to dwarf my figure and I want my skinny jeans to loosely hang off my legs. My collar bone to stick out of every shirt, my knees and shoulders to stand and show through the thickest of fabrics..god...im fucked up.
I can't eat and have it be normal. I can't feel satisfied with tastes or fullness it feels like death. To feel full to me is to feel like I have a tumor or extreme discomfort, a stabbing pain and shortness of breath. I feel like I'm allergic to eating sometimes I joke to people about being allergic to all food. It makes me swell up and my clothes don't fit. The idea of eating around people sends me into a panic. Eventually I am supposed to move in with my friend and they want to split groceries and cook together and I don't know how I'll do it. I won't be at my goal weight before I move. I keep moving the post but i feel like I'll just become apathetic to eating eventually and it will be a chore. A few bites then stop but I will just cause concern. I want my friend to worry and to feel helpless to help me just as I feel helpless to help myself.
I don't want to get better I want this to kill me. I want this slow agonizing death I want to be hated. A casualty of the modern age. I didn't kill myself it was others, the media and the ideas put in place that I'll never be good enough and that I don't belong
I'm nonbinary. Bisexual and asexual at times, aromantic in that i feel undeserving and anxiety around intimacy or closeness, I have generalized anxiety as well as PTSD from childhood abuse, sexual trauma, and other trauma. I'm diagnoses bipolar with hypomania and severe depression. I dissociate to cope. I romanticize my own death and don't fear death or bodily harm. Pain seems to be one of the few comforting sensations any more. If i could I might pay someone just to hurt me so i could feel something and also know I had the power to stop it but I never would until it was overbearing. I feel gender diysphoria and body diysphoria nothing feels real. I am a mess and a broken soul. I just don't see my life ever being manageable. I don't know what sort of career I'm supposed to do. The fear of not knowing what to do contribute more to all my issues....i don't know.
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] Planning out a binge
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 23 01:32:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71wz7m/planning_out_a_binge/
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[deleted]
[Other] Mentally and physicality preparing for a binge on sunday
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 23 01:30:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71wz09/mentally_and_physicality_preparing_for_a_binge_on/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] College makes it easy
/u/canyouuseabowl
Created: Fri Sep 22 23:39:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71wkaz/college_makes_it_easy/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] lol please laugh with me so I don't cry
/u/bellexy [5'8 | tubbalub | -20 | GW 118]
Created: Fri Sep 22 23:17:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71wh5r/lol_please_laugh_with_me_so_i_dont_cry/
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this is a dual rant rave so brace your booties
okay so today was Not A Good Day™
it started off okay and then something really scary at work happened (long story short, an unhinged person made a really threatening call to me and as someone w big paranoia issues I was doneskis. fully tapped out and hypomanic.)
so after a week and a half of low restricting, finally breaking a plateau this morning, I ate so many potato wedges. like with tears in my eyes I just broke and stress ate at least a million potato wedges. so absolutely fuck me, I'm breaking my week and a half stretch and taking lax to get this garbage out of me.
off work. reeling still. hubs surprises me, "WE'RE GOING TO THE FAIR!"
oh my god. we had talked about it before how did I forget oh my god lord in heaven please
there is no way to describe the terror of almost shitting yourself upside down towering over the earth in zero gravity on a rickety carnival ride
RIP and pour one out to those in the restroom I finally managed to scramble into. they didn't deserve that. I am praying thanks to every god and deity that has ever existed. I did not poop in the sky. total success.
and even though it was Not A Good Day™, it did wind up being Pretty Great Night© in the end. for a little bit, I was able to detach from everything that plagues me. anxiety, paranoia, agoraphobia, ED, depression, restlessness... it was just gone. it was just me and him being happy and carefree. and even though I can already feel it all creeping back over my shoulder, I'm really happy that I had that for a little bit.
[Help] Just my luck :(
/u/lymfp [5'3" | BMI 20.9 | vegan | F ]
Created: Fri Sep 22 23:14:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71wgv0/just_my_luck/
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Hi, it's been a while. Sorry if this post is kind of all over the place and incoherent-it feels like my blood pressure is low af and I feel super drowsy.
I've gained like ten pounds since I last interacted here, and I'm so unhappy with the way my body looks right now.
I've had an ED for 5+ years (I've stopped counting at this point, honestly.) When my parents initially found out they threw out the household scale, and since that point I've been relying on the scale at my doctors' appointments to know my weight.
This year my ED behaviors have changed back to binging, and like I mentioned, I've put on at least 10-15lbs. I was mortified when I saw 130 on the scale at the doctor's, and I knew I had to do something.
Im over 18, only a drivers permit-no license yet, still living with my parents, and am almost 100% sure my parents would freak if I ever mention anything to do with scales or my weight again.
My parents drove me to the store and I bought one alone during what I said was my "grocery" trip.
Whew.
...or...not.
I opened the box when I got home and the glass covering where the number reading would be has a huge crack on it.
Seriously?
I was so careful not to let my parents see it when we were out, and now I just don't know what to do.
I can take the battery strip out and void the warranty and hope it works, or risk contacting customer support and end up with a replacement package on the doorstep and my parents saying "L, what's in this box?" They would just open it up themselves.
What would you do? :(
[Help] Calorie counting apps
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Fri Sep 22 23:13:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71wgmt/calorie_counting_apps/
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Does anyone have an app that tracks your calories weekly?
[Rant/Rave] [RAVE] Today I got back on track.
/u/Aprikoosi_flex [5'9" | cw 127 | gw 117 | ugw 110 | 25F💎]
Created: Fri Sep 22 22:52:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71wdk2/rave_today_i_got_back_on_track/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] What the heck is this madness
/u/goshgollyheck [4'11'' | CW:87 | GW:75 | F | 17]
Created: Fri Sep 22 22:48:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71wcxv/what_the_heck_is_this_madness/
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It's been a rough past few weeks. Binging and gaining, and maybe it's a blessing that my scale is broken so that j can't see how much I'm gaining?? But what I don't understand is why my body doesn't want to put the weight anywhere other than my gut. Seriously, I have such scrawny arms and skinny legs, but dear fiery Krakatoa, my stomach is MASSIVE. On top of that, I feel awful since I have a gig tonight, and I got so stressed about it that I ate a cup of chicken porridge, half a cup of brownie fudge ice cream, some chocolate covered coconut chips, garlic toast, alfredo, and I c/s'd some chicken nuggets (pfft as if that would help anything after eating everything I did), and now my stomach is even more massive, and I wouldn't be surprised if I were to puke on stage. At this point, I don't even want to do the show. I just want the day to be over.
[Discussion] DAE make patterns?
/u/Rubywednesdayyy [5'3 | CW: 139.4 | GW: 117 | 23F]
Created: Fri Sep 22 22:21:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71w8rl/dae_make_patterns/
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http://imgur.com/tjmOZCm
[Discussion] Need advice from you lovely, supportive people...[tw]
/u/AnaTroi
Created: Fri Sep 22 22:17:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71w858/need_advice_from_you_lovely_supportive_peopletw/
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Hi everyone,
I'm on here pretty much every day. You're just the most lovely and supportive group. Thanks in advance for reading. I really no one to talk to and I'm just feeling really lost and alone this week.
So a brief back story: I've had major issues with food my whole life. I was really thin up until a couple of years ago. I was diagnosed ana: restricting. Finally decided to try recovery. Managed it okay for a couple of years, but then I started rewarding myself with food. It got out of hand and I put on about 50 pounds. I recently saw some pics of myself and realized just how big I was, and my brain just couldn't handle it. I'm back to my restricting ways and the weight is coming off pretty fast.
Here's where I need advice... I've never been one to purge. I've always been able to just stop eating or not eat at all. But this week something is different. It started Sunday. I was frustrated because I've hit a plateau. I keep reading that a "cheat day" might help me get back on track, so I thought I'd try it. I normally eat 400-600 calories each day, but I decided to try to eat 1000. I did. And then I FREAKED out. Like I couldn't think of anything except how much I wanted the food out of my body. So I purged. And I was so mad at myself. But I also felt so much more calm and in control afterwards.
But then I did it again Tuesday.
And again tonight.
It's been a pretty rough week for me emotionally and I'm feeling pretty fragile. I just don't know why I'm suddenly doing this. It's not something I've ever dealt with before. And it's really not a road I'd like to continue down.
I don't feel calm or in control. I just feel confused and frustrated with myself.
Does anyone have any advice?
For starters: I probably shouldn't allow cheat days at all. Sigh.
[Help] Is it better to eat binge food or throw it away?
/u/luxklepto
Created: Fri Sep 22 22:15:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71w7zh/is_it_better_to_eat_binge_food_or_throw_it_away/
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I do this thing where I hoard food, like food that is fattening and major binge foods. I feel bad for throwing food away even though I stole the food to begin with. But that actually makes me feel worse because there are people who don't steal who starve.
I'll be doing good for a decent length of time, and then I'll just fall apart, and there will be binge food available, and it will be days of binging and occasional purging. So right now, I'm feeling a fall apart coming, and I don't know if I should throw these foods away or not? They're not processed flour, more just like chocolate, PB, nutella. That's actually it.
[Help] Stomach ache but still hungry?
/u/SpitAndPennyStyle [5'2" |SW:185lbs | CW: 144lbs *drinks bleach*| GW:100 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 22 21:29:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71w0fj/stomach_ache_but_still_hungry/
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I restricted all day just to eat a nice dinner at this BBQ but now that I've eaten my stomach hurts. On top of that I am still hungry. Has anyone else experienced this or know what's going on? I'm not finding anything on google and it's really uncomfortable.
[Rant/Rave] i failed, but tomorrow is another day.
/u/idkaboutusername
Created: Fri Sep 22 21:13:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71vxtt/i_failed_but_tomorrow_is_another_day/
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i gained 4 pounds, a few weeks ago. going from 138 to 142. now, i feel disgusting. this was supposed to be the week i was going to get rid of those disgusting extra 4lbs. i just want to get down into the 130s, and work down into the 110s etc... but i had to ruin it all by binging. i ate so much. three slices of pizza. a fourth pint of halo top. and a brownie. i was doing so good this week. staying in between 1,100 and 1,400 calories. and then i binged. all the way up to 1,650. and how much weight have i lost? none. i feel horrible, but i will not purge. tomorrow, i will take a walk in the morning, and i will stay in my calorie range. and i will not let a slice of pizza or a brownie tempt me.
[Tip] Cocoa powder + a little water + Truvia has actually killed all my chocolate cravings ever
/u/champu-petal
Created: Fri Sep 22 21:08:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71vx49/cocoa_powder_a_little_water_truvia_has_actually/
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it's life changing guys, dip strawberries in that and make chocolate covered strawberries for BARELY ANY CALORIES
or try pretzels, it'll add some cals but it's really not bad at all. yummm salty chocolate-y crunch
[Thinspo] god, I wish this was me
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 22 21:03:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71vw9v/god_i_wish_this_was_me/
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https://i.redd.it/ha1ijwlktjnz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Fucking leave!!!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 22 20:58:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71vvgu/fucking_leave/
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[deleted]
I feel elated, radiant, on top of the world.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 22 20:48:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71vttf/i_feel_elated_radiant_on_top_of_the_world/
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[deleted]
35 cal tofu spinach miso soup to fight craving for salty snacks.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 22 20:34:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71vrek/35_cal_tofu_spinach_miso_soup_to_fight_craving/
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https://i.redd.it/fphrgfubojnz.jpg
[Discussion] Exercise bike...
/u/awayawaydown [c: 17.1 | g: 16.3]
Created: Fri Sep 22 20:05:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71vmg3/exercise_bike/
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I'm thinking of getting a stationary bike for my place (I watch too much TV and spend too much time online which does NOT burn enough calories for me). There are a few online that look good to me. I'm thinking about a folding bike or the little pedal things that go under desk chairs (easy to store). Do you use an exercise bike at home, or other exercise equipment?
[Discussion] Baking obsession?
/u/awayawaydown [c: 17.1 | g: 16.3]
Created: Fri Sep 22 20:03:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71vm2u/baking_obsession/
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So I've never been a huge baker but I've been baking a ton lately. I struggle to get good results using sugar replacers such as splenda. Any tips?
What are your favorite things to bake? I've been making things to replace breakfast - muffins, breads, etc.
[Rant/Rave] I love school
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 112.8 | GW: 105 | M/15]
Created: Fri Sep 22 19:40:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71vi5r/i_love_school/
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Recently when I'm at school I'll get lunch then just eat a bite and throw the rest away, I get the taste and feeling of eating without the calories and I'm on the free lunch program so it's not a waste of money, it's been working pretty great. I'll also give my food to my friend, it works out perfectly, he gets more food and I don't eat. I can tell my grandma I'll eat breakfast at school then not do it, skip lunch then come home and eat dinner and she thinks I'm eating 3 meals a day, it's really helped
[Rant/Rave] Just me complaining about my day. Sorry.
/u/fluffy-potatoes-
Created: Fri Sep 22 19:11:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71vcvv/just_me_complaining_about_my_day_sorry/
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I'm just in a not so great place mentally right now and I need someone to rant to. I've been doing SO good lately with my restricting. Haven't been over 900 cals in weeks and that's on my higher cal days. But today I binged and purged. I was home alone so I lose it. My binge still didn't even put me over my tdee but I feel like complete crap. It's the mindset I was in while I was binging. It reminded me of when I was that little 10-12 year old obese girl. No hunger, just eating to eat I guess. That feeling of being on autopilot. I'm horrible at putting feelings into words but any of you guys who have binged knows what I'm talking about. Then I freaked out and try to puke it up, which I've never done before. I only got a little bit up of what I ate before my throat started hurting pretty bad and it freaked me out. I can not let this happen anymore. All i can see in my mind is me at my highest weight and I'm terrified that that one binge will send me all the way back. At my highest I was around 220-230 at around the age of 11 or 12 and now I'm around 130 🤢😷 at 18. I absolutely can not gain weight! None! I would rather be dead than gain any weight, or remain the weight that I'm at for that matter. God I've rambled so much I'm so sorry. I don't even know if this makes any since but I can't bring myself to go back and read all of my whiny crap right now. If you have read this far, I love you.❤️
[Help] If I binge while on a high intake, is all of my weekly progress ruined?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 22 17:26:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71ut4g/if_i_binge_while_on_a_high_intake_is_all_of_my/
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[deleted]
[Intro] Eating Disorders for Men and Excessive Exercise
/u/SabretoothDodo
Created: Fri Sep 22 16:54:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71umrn/eating_disorders_for_men_and_excessive_exercise/
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I Should Start by saying that I am a man who has struggle with weight his entire life and has restricted to the put that the concept of eating more than once or twice a day is uncommon. I was a fat kid who was bullied for it and physically attacked eventually I started to fight back and eventually became the bully in everyone else’s eye I was expelled from 2 different schools in the span of a year with countless suspensions.
When I turned 12 I was out of school depressed and began restricting and binging for a few years lost what few friends I had as I couldn't go to school and hated leaving the house because pretty much the only people I had interacted with ether insulted me profusely, attacked me physically or didn't care about me. I also thought every one judged me, hated me for the weight. After restricting and skipping many meals for most of my teenage years I then started to work out for 3 hours a day 6 days a week, and ended up with quite a nice body, never got to the single digit body fat I wanted but a better body I ever thought I would have.
Unfortunately my desire for six pack abs and a single digit body fat pushed me to restrict further and to train more intensely and with more cardio. I would eat about 1000 to 1200 calories a day of food that wasn't very nutritious and do over 1 hour and 30 minutes of cardio, and 3 hours of weight training 6 days a week.
This unfortunately made me very ill with chronic fatigue, profusely aching muscles restless night’s sleep, trouble concentrating etc. all this resulted in me struggling exponentially during my final year at University doing my dissertation as it failed and I was so sick I couldn't even manage to do the resub for my dissertation all that effort, all those good grades and marks down the shitter that degree was supposed to be my coupe de grace after everything I went through with the education system in England. Not only that but I have lost some of the muscle I worked hard for but also put a bit of chub on. I may not be the most depressed I've been in life but the past three years were phenomenal in comparison to now and where I was in life. Now barely have the energy or motivation to take a shower and I piss everything I had going for me away because I wanted to be fit lean and slim. even now in order to lose the weight I gained I have restricted to 800kcals a day as well as skipping meals so vastly lower calorie intake. I have even experimented with Dinitrophenol to get lean, none of this is helping me get better and just leaves me more tired and fatigued.
Don't know why I'm posting this not sure is it’s the right sub guess I just needed to say what is.
[Goal] So I tried on an XS jacket today...
/u/letmebelittle [5ft 7 | CW: 125 lbs | BMI: 19.6 | WL: 84 lbs | Female]
Created: Fri Sep 22 16:07:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71ud1r/so_i_tried_on_an_xs_jacket_today/
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And it was too big!!! Huge achievement!!!!!
[Tip] Someone posted about these before and i thought i’d give them a try!!! I’m eating the vegetable and noodle soup now and it is GOOD. Only 120 cals a CAN!!!
/u/NotStephany [5'5| 193 | 32.49 | -101lbs | F]
Created: Fri Sep 22 16:01:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71ubpr/someone_posted_about_these_before_and_i_thought/
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https://i.redd.it/6aatcfxnbinz.jpg
[Discussion] Ever think, "that's not a binge... its eating"?
/u/thinktenuis
Created: Fri Sep 22 15:30:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71u50y/ever_think_thats_not_a_binge_its_eating/
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Hi guys! Just found you guys and I am so glad I did. So therapeutic to read that others feel like I do.
So, when I complain about going on a binge, I usually discuss it with my partner, because he's rather good at reassuring me. Today I was telling him about all the "terrible foods" I had: 2 freezer waffles with 1 tbs rasp jelly, a cup of mandarin oranges, and a handful of olives. After telling him, he made a bold statement and i realized.... Some people probably consider this a few snacks. Like, guys. We freak out over things people don't even eat for a MEAL, they eat it as a snack!!! wtf I hate how altered the mind can be?
Also I'm sorry if this post is flustered, my life is flustered so
[Discussion] How do I deal with having to go home?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 22 15:19:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71u2g6/how_do_i_deal_with_having_to_go_home/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Tell me some foods that seem high in calories but aren't
/u/elfenfairy
Created: Fri Sep 22 15:05:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71tzkn/tell_me_some_foods_that_seem_high_in_calories_but/
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Like a regular person would look at it and be like "wow they're eating a good amount"
My boyfriends pestering me to eat more and just I can't with the calories.
Post whatever but bonus points if it's vegan bc I am and I won't eat otherwise for ethical reasons (even my binges are fully vegan) but if you wanna post non vegan food to help others who aren't then feel free too
😊
[Rant/Rave] idk
/u/daisyhands
Created: Fri Sep 22 15:00:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71ty8f/idk/
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i want to get better but i also really don't. i really want to eat properly again because i'm sick of eating the same shit but i'm too fat and i have to lose more weight. i feel like if i want to eat normally or i imagine how my life will be if i recover then i don't actually have an ED. *bear in mind, i also have OCD and Anxiety which is also a reason why i obsess over the thought of my ED not being 'real' because i imagine recovering. this may make no sense lol* anyone else feel like this?
[Rant/Rave] My future is on hold until I get "better"
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Fri Sep 22 14:55:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71tx04/my_future_is_on_hold_until_i_get_better/
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On mobile flair as rant rave or something.
I'm moving in later December and early January and I told myself id be at my goal weight by then which is still 50 to 60 pounds from where I am now. It feels impossible and I just feel so defeated. It's been a rough few weeks. I am filled with existential dread because I feel like how I look is how I am defined..
I'm supposed to be "better" when I move and to just eat normal or learn how to eat like a fucking bird. I eat too much and I'm never full. I have a lot of discretion and dysphoria that no one seems to get. My body doesn't belong to me. I am an empty vessel without a sole. A corpse with a pulse. I dress pictures and mirrors as if I were a vampire or Dorian grey. To see myself is to die. I just feel so heavy with emotion.
On top of all this I am supposed to start fresh when I move and go back to school and get a degree and don't even know what to do with my life. I just feel at a loss. I feel apathetic...
I feel so alone..
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] 'Not sure why all these girls feel like they need to be skinny, this where it's at' 🙄🙄
/u/Dietfuckingcoke [5'4'' | CW 113.6 lbs | BMI 19.5 | GW 112 lbs | 23F]
Created: Fri Sep 22 14:50:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71tvze/not_sure_why_all_these_girls_feel_like_they_need/
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https://i.redd.it/8vqiqwvzyhnz.jpg
[Help] How do you guys calculate calorie burn from exercise?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: who knows? | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 22 14:33:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71ts2v/how_do_you_guys_calculate_calorie_burn_from/
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I don't have a fitbit or anything so I'm not getting a personalised estimate, but my workout machine gives a calorie burn estimate based on my weight and gives me a heart rate average. I can calculate a calorie burn estimate based on my heart rate, but it's different than what the machine estimates I'm burning, I think because my resting heart rate is relatively high already. All this is a roundabout way of asking- how do you calculate it? How much does heart rate factor into it?
[Help] Help I've given up drinking but I really need a drink
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 22 13:38:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71tf38/help_ive_given_up_drinking_but_i_really_need_a/
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[removed]
Has anyone ever water flushed?
/u/Jen1013 [Height 5'11"| CW 187| BMI 26.1 | Weight Lost ]
Created: Fri Sep 22 12:32:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71sza2/has_anyone_ever_water_flushed/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Starbucks mishap and I am SHOOK... and not in a good way.
/u/amberinthewoods [5'2.5" | 114.6 lbs | 29F]
Created: Fri Sep 22 12:31:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71syya/starbucks_mishap_and_i_am_shook_and_not_in_a_good/
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I get Starbucks every morning on the way to work, because it's 5:30AM... and because I'm as basic as it comes. I always get a venti iced coffee with SF vanilla, and coconut milk.
WELL. Today, on the little light up screen below the speaker in the drive through, it was like ohhh try our new iced maple pecan latte for 80 calories in a grande. So I was like FUCK YES okay, order me a venti let's do this shit it's Friday treat yo self yaaaas.
Then I drank like 1/4 of it on the way to work. And then when I got to work I googled the calories in a venti so I could log it appropriately... only to discover.... the screen had a typo. The grande actually has TWO HUNDRED and eighty calories, which makes the venti over 400...
I have been livid about this for the past six hours. Stressed AF about it. I took a xanax around 9 because I was that fucked up over it.
So. There's that. Happy Friday or whatever.
[Other] Binged, then exercised until I threw up multiple times.
/u/janesavage [167 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 50 kg | 18F]
Created: Fri Sep 22 12:18:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71svqc/binged_then_exercised_until_i_threw_up_multiple/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Do any of you have planned binges?
/u/carlems [5'1| CW: 102,2 | GW: 94 | -18]
Created: Fri Sep 22 12:02:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71srr9/do_any_of_you_have_planned_binges/
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I'm sorry, I know this has been asked many times before, but I can't remember the answers. Tell me your plans if you have any!
I'll start. I've fantasized about my mega-binge coming in 5 weeks as I should by then reach my UGW. Dreaming and carefully planning it has helped me to not binge for the entire week for some reason!!!
So. I'm going to start without breakfast (to not consume TOO many calories lmao) and by going to the gym. After that I'm going to buy the following (in the following order):
1. One (so delicious-looking) double chocolate cookie from a takeaway place near me.
2. Three smaller cookies from Subway, because they're in sale (and bc they're the best thing ever)
3. One cookie from McDonalds (can you notice I love cookies?)
4. 12 mini chocolate donut-packet from my store (best. thing. ever.)
5. This new 200g gingerbread-chocolate coming to my store in October
6. One creme filled donut from my local bakery
7. A HUGE packet of pick 'n mix candies (mostly all things sour and chocolate)
8. Bag of my favourite chips
9. This chicken-caesar filled ciabatta that I absolutely adore
10. Big order of french fries from a fast food place next to me
11. Diet Coke, because gotta be healthy, youknow?
After that I'm going to watch my favourite movie and eat. I'm so so hungry right now and can't wait. I feel sick of how happy this thought makes me feel. Anyway after all of this I'm going to be broke and losing the gained weight but after THAT I might finally start mainteance. I might finally become happy with my body. I really hope I will.
Sorry about this mindless, too long rant. My friends went to party without me so here I am alone fantasizing about eating. Fuck. Anyway, your turn (if you made it this far)!
[Rant/Rave] Am I slowly killing myself?
/u/EverFading98
Created: Fri Sep 22 11:52:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71sphj/am_i_slowly_killing_myself/
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I've recently opened up to several people outside of my immediate family about the challenges I have in regards to food, and although my family understand it perdectly, due to their own personal experiences my friends do not, nor do they know what to do or how to respond.
Two months ago I was forsed to tell my doctor about this as well, after a suicide attempt. They ran a series of tests and everything turned up normal. This result sent dissipontments shocking throughout my body.
I think I wanted proof that what I'm doing is wrong. The relationships I have with my disorders are just as complicated as the one between my ED and food. In short tho, I like having people worry about me and I love seeing all of my numbers decrease. Currently I do not want to recover, I want to worsen. I essentially want to starve. It may well be the only way I'll be able to kill myself. Death is the ultimate goal. Or is it? I am not sure. This too there are some internal conflicts about. For I also want to succeed at life.
I have had anorexia for almost ten years now, in and off. Last Christmas (2016) my numbers where substantially higher than they are now. I've not stepped on a scale in weeks, and now knowing makes me go insane. At one period during these last nine months I hot the lowest weight I've ever been, and my current goals are lower still than that, classified as carrying a high health risk.
I know that no matter what my numbers become they will never be low enough, and that I will always see myself as fast and ugly. Whenever I have a decent meal, I have subsequent panic attacks. I'm classified as anorexic of the bp subtype. Seeing my numbers go down is what's keeping me alive. I need to be anorexic right now.
[Rant/Rave] My favourite thing about my eating disorder is being able to get three meals out of one from a restaurant.
/u/fastestnerdalive
Created: Fri Sep 22 11:35:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71sl1x/my_favourite_thing_about_my_eating_disorder_is/
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[removed]
[Help] Binge Prevention?
/u/jackbr0wn66
Created: Fri Sep 22 11:33:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71skk4/binge_prevention/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I gave into the urge and it just didn't satisfy like it used to.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW: too much | UGW 105 | 24/F]
Created: Fri Sep 22 11:30:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71sjjo/i_gave_into_the_urge_and_it_just_didnt_satisfy/
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I have the house to myself for 5 days and my brain told me I had to take advantage of the time and b/p. I wasn't even craving anything, but it was just habit for so many years. As soon as the door would shut and I was alone, I'd have to b/p before my family got back from errands.
So yesterday I went and bought some food. I wasn't even really craving anything, but I picked stuff I'd normally b/p on. Something sweet, something savory, something hot, cold, etc.
When all was said and done, I felt nothing. I used to get that endorphin high after purging. This was anti-climactic. Making it, eating it, bringing it back up. It was just a waste of energy.
And that's wonderful. My Wellbutrin can take away some cravings, but it can't break years of habits instantly.
It's a small victory in the bigger war.
How much do you guys lose overnight?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 22 11:09:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71sed2/how_much_do_you_guys_lose_overnight/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] School has started and so has the weight..
/u/Strawberie
Created: Fri Sep 22 11:05:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71sdaw/school_has_started_and_so_has_the_weight/
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Don't mind this post, i just wanted to vent out somewhere.
During the summer I became the lowest I have ever been. I started a full-time job at this restaurant and this is where I picked up my eating disorder. Well, to be more technical, I'm not really sure if its an ED--I just became hyper aware of calorie count and became a bit obsessive of them. I went from 98 -> 88/86 over march to sept.
The main reason for this drop is that 1) I was constantly moving for 8hrs everyday 2) I was never home 3) I usually had 1 medium black ice coffee for breakfast and lunch (10am-7pm). Had 1 serving of w/e dinner my mom made for the family at home.
Now that school has started I found myself to be crazy stress eating. I just can't stop. I don't get why it's so hard for me to have some self control anymore. I usually had ZERO calories intake until 8pm and yet I struggle with wanting to eating the second I wake up now.
What's really issue is that I spend a lot of time at home now. Fucking food everywhere. Free food everywhere. When I was out, at least prices of food could have deterred me from eating but now its fucking EVERYWHERE. My mom keeps making me food now (breakfast/lunch/dinner) and it keeps piling up in the fridge to the point I HAVE to eat it because we were running out of space.
I've been hiding this ED from my family because before it was fairly easy to. I used to be out before anyone woke up and came back home around 7pm. I only had to eat 1 meal in front of them where as they expect me to eat THREE now. I can't tell my mom to STOP making me food as that would alert her of my ED..
God I don't even have time to go out on runs anymore because of studying... I'm so frustrated.
btw its only 1pm and i already had like 400 cals worth of food lol fuck my life.
[Discussion] Does anyone else love cauliflower rice??
/u/Atticus909 [5'4" | -18.4bs | 19M]
Created: Fri Sep 22 10:33:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71s5na/does_anyone_else_love_cauliflower_rice/
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I just bought two heads of cauliflower like an hour ago and it made SO MUCH. One cup of the stuff is only 25 calories vs. ~200 for a cup of regular rice. I'm in love, guys.
What are some decent low calorie alcoholic drinks?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 22 10:16:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71s1h0/what_are_some_decent_low_calorie_alcoholic_drinks/
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[deleted]
[Thinspo] Eating disorder poem (Warsan Shire - Bone)
/u/amoonshapedpool-
Created: Fri Sep 22 09:39:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71rshz/eating_disorder_poem_warsan_shire_bone/
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https://i.redd.it/vdlqkj7hfgnz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] took a day off from fasting.. Such Regret
/u/7376549 [male | 165.5cm | cw 62kg | gw 50kg |]
Created: Fri Sep 22 09:27:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71rpl7/took_a_day_off_from_fasting_such_regret/
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so i’ve been doing intermittent fasting for a couple of weeks now... until this morning, my roommate was up earlier than usual so i couldn’t skip breakfast without incurring questions, so i kind of thought fuck it, i’ll take a day off from fasting, maybe if i eat throughout the day i’ll get in more calories & that might help with this plateau.. etc. etc. (also i had a dr appointment today & his scale showed me as 2 whole fucking kg heavier than my bathroom scale SOOOOO 🙃🔫)
*it’s been so bad guys*
so. bad.
first off, i don’t even really feel hungry in the mornings when i’m doing IF. but as soon as i had breakfast i was fucking *ravenous*. i had like 500 calories & i could *easily* have eaten twice that. which was kind of terrifying, since i had the whole rest of the day to go??? like, at least when i eat a 500 on IF & am still hungry i know there’s only like a couple more hours in my eating window so i’ll be ok.
so breakfast was bad. tasted good, lmao, but felt bad. had lunch a few hours later & immediately felt even worse. my body just didn’t fucking want that food. i feel so guilty for doing this to myself 😓
also, walking to university with food in my stomach felt weird. like.. i’m not used to having that kind of energy lmao. it was a really bizarre sensation, i can’t quite describe it except i honestly felt like i could tell my body was using that day’s food for energy rather that.. whatever it uses when i’m fasting (hopefully fat stores but 🤷🏻♂️). the walk was MUCH less tiring, to the point it freaked me out a bit lmaooo
i still have to eat 700 more calories to even meet my TDEE. eeeeek. seriously praying to at least get a whoosh out of this mess 😓🤞🙏
[Discussion] When did you notice changes?
/u/hiantics
Created: Fri Sep 22 09:05:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71rkjo/when_did_you_notice_changes/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Did anyone else know about Cantaloupe?!?!?!
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 161.8 | GW:118 | -4 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 22 08:42:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71rf7h/did_anyone_else_know_about_cantaloupe/
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Or did I just miss the memo? Cause I was munching away on delicious sweet cantaloupe and mentally cringing at how many calories I was taking in.....and then I looked up the nutritional info of it. Holy crap there could be less than 200 kcal in a WHOLE FREAKING MELON! and that's the story of how I overdosed on cantaloupe but died happy 😉
[Rant/Rave] Opened up to two coworkers, and they both have EDs.
/u/squamouspuppies [5'10" | 24M]
Created: Fri Sep 22 08:31:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71rckk/opened_up_to_two_coworkers_and_they_both_have_eds/
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It's been a really hard week for me. I've been working a lot because one of my coworkers quit and I've slowly been going insane from getting up, going to work, going to bed, and repeating while having so much ED crap on my mind.
Anyway, one night this week when I was on my break, one of my managers came into the break room to say bye to me and I ended up opening up to him about my disordered eating (still not sure if I consider myself to have an ED, if that makes sense), and he opened up to me. Long story short, it was really therapeutic for both me and him to be able to tell someone about it.
Fast forward to last night when I was getting off and another coworker was clocking in, who happens to be my manager's wife. She's the sweetest lady you can imagine and I ended up staying for a few minutes after because it was really slow and one thing lead to another and I had a complete breakdown in front of her while she held my hand and consoled me. Not gonna lie, there's been *way* more on my mind lately I've been holding in than just eating stuff, but she totally related to that, too. She told me I could call them whenever I needed or come over just to hang out.
It's just crazy to me that the two people that happened to be in the right place at the right time were exactly the people I needed. I feel really loved.
[Intro] lurker no more
/u/Spiltmilks [5'10 | 126 | 18.1 | -9 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 22 07:52:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71r3yz/lurker_no_more/
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Hi guys. I've lurked here for a long time but decided maybe to make more posts. I'm in my mid 20's now but struggled since I was 16 or so with ana/bed. It's strange when you get older and these things always follow you. I just recently moved to a new city and don't really have anyone to talk to or much to be distracted by, so I spend most of my time running and hanging out on the beach. I model (which doesn't help) and moving to a new market has been difficult and lonely. I don't really binge that much because it's so hot here haha but my weight has reached a plateau for some reason. I'm not happy about that and I used to be smaller. I feel like my body became somehow more athletic looking despite long distance running but I know I have dysmorphia. I have been having troubles sleeping lately but it seems to be mostly all I want to do. Anyways, hope to meet some nice people on here. xx
[Rant/Rave] How does hunger even work??
/u/slave2thepoon [169cm | CW 55 | GW 50 | 21F]
Created: Fri Sep 22 07:41:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71r1qh/how_does_hunger_even_work/
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So this week I've been trying to convince myself that I can eat and think about food like a normal person (I totally can't, I've just ended up either binging and purging or binging and crying) and I just don't understand how I have eaten so much food today but I feel so fucking hungry right now?
Like Ive literally been stuffing my face throughout the whole day, and it's 11pm now and I feel more hungry than I do when I eat one apple for the whole day. WHY
[Other] Screaming internally with these damn ads 😂 anybody else?
/u/_pandarah [5'11 | CW145.8 | GW128 | 19.7 | 22F]
Created: Fri Sep 22 07:40:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71r1hy/screaming_internally_with_these_damn_ads_anybody/
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https://i.redd.it/bulx4py9ufnz.jpg
[Discussion] September 22nd, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 22 07:27:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71qyxp/september_22nd_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What shocking news have you recently learned?
I didn’t really “learn” this, but that my acne is returning literally 3 weeks after I took my last pill of accutane, and it was my SECOND COURSE. the dermatologist said she had never seen it come back so quickly after the first course, and that it was probably my IUD. Jesus Christ fml
Will my body hold onto fat?
/u/dazzlememydarling
Created: Fri Sep 22 07:01:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71qtuv/will_my_body_hold_onto_fat/
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[removed]
[Goal] "I knew it was you! I'd recognise those slender legs anywhere!"
/u/FastPhoria [5'10 | 122 | 17.5 / 17.0 | GW: 119 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 22 06:33:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71qoh9/i_knew_it_was_you_id_recognise_those_slender_legs/
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... said by way of greeting as one of my professors caught up with me walking across campus.
Excuse me while I go and die happy :')
(Also, side note: use of the word "slender" in conversation? He's old. But we should fully try to resurrect this, it's criminally underused! Google defines it as "gracefully thin" 😍😍😍)
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! September 22, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Sep 22 06:12:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71qkxv/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread/
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This is the weekly picture thread for September 22, 2017.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
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[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! September 22, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Sep 22 06:12:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71qkxa/daily_food_diary_september_22_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 22, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] Am I the only one that feels self conscious about teeth?
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'3"|110| 25F]
Created: Fri Sep 22 05:39:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71qf1z/am_i_the_only_one_that_feels_self_conscious_about/
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And also what do you guys do to protect them?
I'd shorten my life by about 10 years to have perfect white teeth tbh
[Rant/Rave] I can no longer afford to feed myself adequately
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Fri Sep 22 05:14:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71qb22/i_can_no_longer_afford_to_feed_myself_adequately/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] I dont think I could ever look like this no matter how little I ate
/u/-M00nFlower
Created: Fri Sep 22 03:45:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71py5v/i_dont_think_i_could_ever_look_like_this_no/
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https://i.redd.it/4hskwhr8oenz.jpg
[Other] Also applies to being an ideal binge food
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 22 03:18:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71pukk/also_applies_to_being_an_ideal_binge_food/
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https://i.redd.it/kcobjfkbjenz.png
[Rant/Rave] It's been a while.
/u/Uppity-Kitten [5'2" | CW: 72kg |BMI30| GW50kg | 20F]
Created: Fri Sep 22 02:48:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71pqtc/its_been_a_while/
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I've been controlling myself so well. There's been so much happening in my life that I haven't really obsessed over food. Instead I'm obsessing over sex. Lmao.
But, I just started the pill. This is my second type. I can't tell you it's name off the top of my head, but I don't feel fat, and I don't think I'm holding water weight like I was.
Last week I was 75kg? And a few days ago I was 71.5kg.
The other day, I found a shirt in my room. It was a little light blouse that would be good in the hot weather. I had to leave the first two buttons undone because my chest was too big for it to close. I thought it looked sexy. Lmao. But mum told me to take it off because it didn't fit. So I did.
While folding the washing, my sister's support worker asked who it belonged to. Mum said it didn't fit me so she'd take it. Because apparently it fit her. For some context; my mum has E/F cup breasts (Aus), mine are C. When I said that made no sense, she said ; "Maybe your back is just bigger than mine".
Not sure about you guys, but I'm so freaking self conscious about my back? So I've been thinking about it a lot. But I'm too depressed not to eat or put any effort into losing weight. I juey don't want to exist. Lmao.
[Discussion] New clinic intake call this morning - so tempted to call and cancel
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Fri Sep 22 02:35:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71pp4j/new_clinic_intake_call_this_morning_so_tempted_to/
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I'm not sure I'm ready. I mean I plan to take the call on the treadmill. Is that messed up? It seems efficient to me. I'm struggling hard this week after a week of vacation eating and rest but despite returning to crazy activity and barely eating, I've fought hard to not just flat out fast and despite not wanting to I plan to do my usual refeed weekends even though I'm still retaining water. I've been delaying but guess I shouldn't believe a week fixes the damage done.
Not sure if anyone has listened but I find the eating disorder recovery podcast interesting. Two points relevant to me I listened to yesterday - just because you're eating more doesn't mean the internal damage is done. If you lost your job and accumulated debt then got a job, your debt doesn't just go away, you're still only paying for necessities; the operant vs classical conditioning idea that eating disorder behaviors often become habits not active choices.
Anyway, I'm so scared and not ready. I know what she'll say, move less, eat more. I also hesitate to mention my swelling issue for fear of a suggestion to refeed inpatient.
[Other] Spiderhand
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 22 01:52:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71pjwq/spiderhand/
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https://imgur.com/MScRbas
sticks & stones
/u/mildolconf [5'9" | 134.2 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 22 01:31:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71ph98/sticks_stones/
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https://i.redd.it/rep9diag0enz.jpg
Fuck off 😒
/u/sternums [5'2 | literal tub of lard | F | UGW: 95]
Created: Fri Sep 22 01:27:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71pgkj/fuck_off/
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https://i.redd.it/dqwi205nzdnz.jpg
[Bình Luận CF] Bệnh Viện Cổ - Súng Kac UImate Gold Smit - bungtau xd - Y...
/u/bungtau
Created: Fri Sep 22 00:56:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71pcb0/bình_luận_cf_bệnh_viện_cổ_súng_kac_uimate_gold/
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https://i.redd.it/cbmdruc8udnz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Get ready for a relapse
/u/Hiyoheyyo
Created: Fri Sep 22 00:48:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71pb2v/get_ready_for_a_relapse/
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So I just found out that my ex told my friend about one of my BIGGEST insecurities about my body. He said he loved that part of my body. Now he's validated my own thoughts about it. There goes all my trust in future relationships. There goes all my confidence. Say hello to my next relapse.
[Rant/Rave] Alleged friend making me starve
/u/artheau
Created: Fri Sep 22 00:00:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71p45c/alleged_friend_making_me_starve/
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Friend/acquaintance/enemy/bitch, whatever she is. She is completely triggering me. She doesn't know it, and I haven't said anything to her. I've given her a couple hints but I'm positive she's not picking up on it. I know I could tell her to stop but I don't because I want to lose weight again and she's negatively motivating me.
I gained 20 lbs over the summer and I think she started calling me fat and chubby because she noticed. I once made a self deprecating joke and gave in to her jests, but then she told me how skinny I was and that I wasn't fat at all. Like she thinks it's okay as long as she can tease me about it. But that's not all. She's been restricting. One small meal a day, maybe a bubble tea she'll call dinner (they do have a lot of calories and sugars), and it makes me competitive. Like I know I can eat less and lose that weight quicker than she is. I already lost 8 lbs from the 20 I gained. And when midterms come around the corner I'll be way too focused on my projects to eat like I did in the summer and be back to my low weight again.
And the thing is I know what it's like to be in this mindset, I tell her to eat more and healthy ways to lose weight without having to restrict yourself, hoping that this will end and that she won't end up like me.
But also, she's so fucking annoying. Theres this guy in our school, and he's a model. Like literally aesthetically perfection: skinny and fashionable. And I feel nothing for him, she keeps on teasing me about me having a crush on him. Saying "You like him don't you? Your smiling!" And she repeats this until I smile because she makes a funny voice.
So I'm just ranting because she just snapchatted me a video of her saying this and I want to fucking scream. Like she does this all the fucking time and I try so hard to shrug it off, because the more attention you bring something the more problem you have with it right?
[Help] Period-less
/u/cxwang
Created: Thu Sep 21 23:58:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71p3x3/periodless/
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So I haven't had a period in over a year now. My gyno told me I have to stop working out and gain weight (fat, not muscle). I haven't been great about doing it though since I really don't want to gain weight. Plus I feel like weight might not be the only issue since I'm only slightly underweight (~18 BMI). I've stopped working out as much and started eating more calories the past 2 mos but still no period. Tbh it's kinda nice :p
I'm debating if I should keep trying to gain weight since I'm not looking to get pregnant anyway. The long term fertility and health issues do kinda worry me though.
Antwya has anyone gone through this? Did you get your period back naturally? How much weight did you have to gain?
[Discussion] it's only been a day and I'm thriving
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 21 23:29:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71ozry/its_only_been_a_day_and_im_thriving/
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[deleted]
[Help] Does liquor count when fasting?
/u/dbk1982 [5'2" 35F |SW 215 | CW 208 | LW 140| UGW 115 ]
Created: Thu Sep 21 23:02:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71ovjn/does_liquor_count_when_fasting/
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[removed]
[Help] Some advice please! (Not ED related)
/u/BV01te
Created: Thu Sep 21 22:24:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71op6u/some_advice_please_not_ed_related/
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So this might not be the best place to post this but I would really like an opinion or two if possible.
A few months ago I did one of the scariest things I have ever done, I told someone about the abuse I went through as a kid. I had never told anyone before and had no idea how it would effect me, but it did more then I thought. Saying everything out loud brought back all kinds of horrible memories and I started having major panic attacks, insomnia, and thoughts of suicide. I also started loosing consciousness on a regular basis and spent a lot of time in the hospital. After basically going through hell, I started seeing a psychiatrist who I hoped would help me with my ptsd and things would improve.
I really wanted to get better so I answered all of the psychiatrists questions about my experiences honestly (something I have never done before). Things were going pretty well for about a month until one appointment when I told him I have a lot of anxiety when people touch me, especially men, and feel like I'm loosing control.
He thought that was interesting and asked if he could touch me to try and figure out what my threshold/reaction might be. I said yes thinking he was just going to hold my hand or something. Instead, he comes and sits down next to me, wraps an arm over my shoulder holding me against him and his other hand is on the side of my face. At this point I was too scared to move or speak and I don't even remember what happened after that (my next memory is running down the street almost an hour later)
I feel like what he did is way outside what is acceptable but I don't really know. I am too scared to go back and see him again/confront him about it but now I don't have anyone to talk to.
It's too close to what I went through as a kid and it's giving me nightmares but maybe I am just over reacting?
Maybe he really was trying to help but I really don't think so and I am to scared to talk to anyone about it.
Now I don't know what to do and I'm worried about my safety. Any suggestions would be helpful. I can't think rationally about this anymore.
[Discussion] Electrolytes and Restriction??
/u/ci-fre [5'1" | 83-84 lb | ~16.5 new BMI | F]
Created: Thu Sep 21 22:15:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71onov/electrolytes_and_restriction/
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Hey everyone, I think this has probably been mentioned to death. But there are some basic things about electrolytes and restriction that I just don't understand. I know electrolytes are important when purging, so they're important for people with EDs. But I am not sure at all about restriction. Is only potassium needed? What about sodium? How much do you try to get every day? I think it's supposed to prevent lightheadedness but I don't really understand how much is really needed. I mean, Powerade Zero has like... 10% daily intake of sodium for a 20 fl oz bottle (591 mL) which doesn't really seem like a lot compared to the amount that can be in broth...
So umm, for those of you that care about electrolyte intake, do you care when you only restrict and don't purge as well? How many electrolytes do you get per day? How do you know if the amount you're getting from food is enough?
[Rant/Rave] ED sends my brain back to high school
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 21 22:02:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71olbq/ed_sends_my_brain_back_to_high_school/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] The whoosh is real and I'm gonna marry it
/u/missdreavuss
Created: Thu Sep 21 21:58:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71okmy/the_whoosh_is_real_and_im_gonna_marry_it/
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I'm so happy!!! All month last month I was heavily restricting and eating under 300 cals daily with one higher calorie day. I was consistently stuck at 133-134. It was hellish and miserable and I couldn't make that number move. This month I've continued eating like I normally do (no more than 300-400 calories) and suddenly all the weight is falling off!! I just ate a larger meal at my parents house and stepped on the scale getting ready to be disgusted, but I weighed in at 129! The other morning I weighed myself when I first woke up and I was even lighter. I'm finally getting closer to my GW and I've finally broken the 130s! I'm so excited! I can visibly see how much weight I've lost already and I'm so excited. I can only imagine how I'll look in a few months. I'm feeling so excited and positive (even though I'm doing an awful thing) and I never thought I'd break the 130s but I'm really doing it!
[Thinspo] Alicia Vikander - parents sent me the Tomb Raider trailer and wooow
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 19bmi | -140 | 30F | AU]
Created: Thu Sep 21 21:42:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71ohw9/alicia_vikander_parents_sent_me_the_tomb_raider/
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https://i.redd.it/9fcn4z5lvcnz.jpg
I have a varied and nutritious diet...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 21 21:23:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71oeny/i_have_a_varied_and_nutritious_diet/
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https://i.imgur.com/h5nptCo.jpg
my roomate and my mother...
/u/jian-ao [5"4 | 110 | 18.88 | -25 | f]
Created: Thu Sep 21 21:12:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71oco7/my_roomate_and_my_mother/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] Perfection
/u/midwesthoe- [5'1| 105 | 19.8 |20F|]
Created: Thu Sep 21 21:00:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71oafp/perfection/
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https://i.redd.it/mdmnj8c4ocnz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Parents
/u/_NoNameNecessary_ [5'3" | CW 131lb | GW 100lb | BMI 23 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 21 21:00:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71oacu/parents/
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Lately my mom has been picking up on the fact that I'm constantly eating low cal foods (black coffee, soups, plain broccoli, pb2, ect). She hadn't much of it at first but she has also been noticing I look "skinnier" lately (which tbh I don't see at all). She finally put the two together and has been asking if I have an eating disorder. I just said no and acted like I thought she was joking. Even if I wanted to tell her the truth I can't because I don't even know if what I have is an ed or just another petty teen.
[Rant/Rave] Perfection
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 21 21:00:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71oaca/perfection/
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https://i.redd.it/dqmdzkb1ocnz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I'm fucking done
/u/throwgdjjbdyjj
Created: Thu Sep 21 20:59:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71oa89/im_fucking_done/
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With this awful binge restrict cycle. I'm done with being stuck at 112 lbs. I'm done with only drinking coffee all day and then coming to the kitchen at 10 PM and eating 4 slices of pizza and a pint of ice cream
Starting right this fucking second I'm going to be the perfect skinny girl I've always wanted to be. The one who doesn't even know what binging is. I WILL lose weight. I will gtfo of this plateau
**My Plan**
Honestly I don't trust myself enough with anything else but my safe foods, except eating dinner with family bc I have to do that, I'll just take a small portion. But besides dinner I will only eat these foods
- Apples
- Apple Sauce
- Rice cakes
- Frozen waffle
- Almond milk
- PB2
- Peaches
- Yoghurt
- eggs
I'm rlly sorry, I just had to get this out.
[Discussion] Does anyone else just feel broken?
/u/gradsquests
Created: Thu Sep 21 20:44:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71o7i3/does_anyone_else_just_feel_broken/
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[removed]
[Help] Fasting vs. juice fasting vs soylent?
/u/appletr335
Created: Thu Sep 21 20:37:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71o62n/fasting_vs_juice_fasting_vs_soylent/
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Hey guys I was planning on starting a juice fast, but I was wondering if there are major differences between these 3, not nutritionally, but how you feel when you do them. I've tried fasting before and I cannot go for long but I can go long with juice fasting. However fasting on its own gives you a sort of high when you get high ketones. I've never tried soylent.
What are your experiences with these? How do they make you feel, physically and mentally?
[Other] This is what witchcraft tastes like
/u/my_stupid_name [5'2" | ohgodno | -29# so far | Female]
Created: Thu Sep 21 20:32:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71o58t/this_is_what_witchcraft_tastes_like/
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https://imgur.com/4tGlYIc
[Thinspo] She’s CGI but holy fuck, could you imagine????
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Thu Sep 21 20:07:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71o08p/shes_cgi_but_holy_fuck_could_you_imagine/
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https://i.redd.it/b0vtum2mecnz.jpg
[Other] What's an unpopular food that you miss eating?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 113.6 | UGW: 102lbs | Peach: LobsterMacNCheese]
Created: Thu Sep 21 19:05:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71no1g/whats_an_unpopular_food_that_you_miss_eating/
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[Thinspo] Dream.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Thu Sep 21 18:56:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71nma7/dream/
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https://i.redd.it/gyiveaz02cnz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Food is a compulsion, it brings me no joy
/u/clarenceismyanimus [5'6 | too much | -42 | 37F]
Created: Thu Sep 21 18:36:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71ni35/food_is_a_compulsion_it_brings_me_no_joy/
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Sorry guys, just having to vent. It started a couple of weeks ago. I got my period, and ended up binging. The whole week. And the next. I would try to restrict but then I would fall apart at the end of the day. I'm trying so hard not to binge. During my binges, I'm not even enjoying the food, just putting it in my mouth. What's the point? I've walked away from the kitchen, for now. I'll be eating dinner in about an hour (cereal and almond milk, 250 cal; I'll be at 760 for the day). If I can just get through this ONE DAY without binging, I know I can get back on track. I'm so disappointed that I put back on the weight that I lost from the prior week. I'm trying so hard because I'm going to a concert in December and I want to fit more comfortably in the seats and not have my anxiety flare up because of it. ARGH. Just had to vent, thanks. Going to pinterest to look at more thinspo.
[Intro] Introduction to this guy
/u/acronym_acronym [5' 11" | 135 lbs | 18.8 | -5 lbs | Male]
Created: Thu Sep 21 17:58:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71na2f/introduction_to_this_guy/
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I've never done an introduction on here though I've posted infrequently before. But yeah! Background information might be useful so here goes??? I'm a guy who just moved away from home to college, and am doing what I like doing (mostly.) YEARS before I actually even APPLIED to any colleges I knew that I would try to lose as much as possible when I was living alone, knowing nobody would really care or notice probably. I don't really have any friends here because my anxiety makes me seem unfriendly and bitchy, and I guess it's for the best? I'm living in a VERY large city so poor food choices are at literally every corner and it's hard to resist because I've never had the luxury of being able to get food by walking across the street. I've been trying to find someone who might make me feel better and some do but I keep overanalyzing every little thing they do and end up convincing myself that they don't want to talk to me and that they got bored. I stopped caring about my outfits, wearing basically the same thing every day, something I would've never done before. But yeah I feel myself going further down the rabbit hole with this thing and have nobody to talk to but myself really because I don't want to burden people with my problems. I'm scared I'll go too far but I also want to go too far? It's weird but I have no hope for my future and want to just not eat until I'm in the hospital so someone would notice but they probably wouldn't because who would know or even care! Feeling more alone than I have legitimately ever before and in a city and school with so many like-minded individuals it feels bad. I'm going to try my best no matter what to accomplish my goal. I feel like a loser but not in the way I want to be.
Sorry for rant, anyways, hello nice to meet you.
[Tip] 105 CALORIE APPLE CRISP DISCOVERY! (info in comments!)
/u/ThrowboNanoo
Created: Thu Sep 21 17:57:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71n9xn/105_calorie_apple_crisp_discovery_info_in_comments/
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https://i.redd.it/ej42l3zdrbnz.jpg
[Thinspo] Romee Strijd is goals on hard mode
/u/i-have-8-nickels
Created: Thu Sep 21 17:14:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71n1ah/romee_strijd_is_goals_on_hard_mode/
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https://i.redd.it/i41769xrjbnz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Dreams of eating
/u/loserlosing5
Created: Thu Sep 21 17:14:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71n183/dreams_of_eating/
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Omg!!!! I have had this happen 3 times now where I have a dream (or nightmare) where I eat over my calories and I swear I can actually taste it and when I wake up I feel full. And in the dream I actually have the guilty and annoyance like "fuck well I've ruined the day!" and then as soon as I wake up I'm like "okay starting again today.. wait that was a dream I went to bed on 800 calories fuck".
Last night I dreamt I was out running when I saw my friends in a cafe. There were all these biscuits/cookies on the table and I just stuffed my face with them and then after the guilt and annoyance ugh even this morning I feel like I really did eat all those biscuits.
Anyone else have dreams like this!? Where you actually feel like you ate it?
[Rant/Rave] The camera adds 10 pounds... or 100 pounds
/u/acswana7
Created: Thu Sep 21 17:01:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71myn2/the_camera_adds_10_pounds_or_100_pounds/
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I recently started college after dropping out for a year because of mental health issues. I'm doing media, and my class is very small so we all hangout all the time after class. Some of them are vloggers and they constantly film and Snapchat everything. So I've been restricting as much as I can, because my dad kind of controls my meals, knowing of my ed past. Now I know I have been losing weight, not as fast as I want to but at least it's something. I know I'm a fat pig, but these people were so nice to me, and they're all so thin and pretty and I felt like a belonged...
Until I saw their vlogs. I saw myself. An obese whale cow hybrid fatty all over the screen. My chubby face, my fat stomach. My stubby arms. I nearly threw up. All the confidence I had in myself gone in a 4 second clip. I'm devastated. I wish I didn't have to go to college so these people wouldn't have to force themselves to talk to a pig like me.
I've seen the studies on cameras making you look bigger than you are, but everyone else in the vlogs look great. I feel awful. I've stopped watching the vlogs because I can't stand to see myself like that. I've become such a monster and I feel disgusting. I'm fasting rn, restricting when I can't fast, hiding food from my dad so he thinks I'm eating.
Has anyone else had experiences like this? Where you have false confidence over your ed and then a video of photo changes all that?
[Other] Does anyone want to play cards against humanity, ED version?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 21 16:56:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71mxgq/does_anyone_want_to_play_cards_against_humanity/
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[deleted]
My clothes are starting to feel loose and this is better than sex
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 21 16:44:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71muyh/my_clothes_are_starting_to_feel_loose_and_this_is/
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[removed]
[Discussion] What are your best/ favorite caffeine drinks?
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Thu Sep 21 16:43:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71muo9/what_are_your_best_favorite_caffeine_drinks/
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I think I've built up a tolerance to caffeine 😂. 4 coffees, a Diet Coke, and a few diet pills. Still soooo tired 😴
Maybe back to sugar free Red Bull?
What helps you guys stay energized all day? 🦄
[Help] Suggestions on best way to pick up your butt?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 113.6 | UGW: 102lbs | Peach: LobsterMacNCheese]
Created: Thu Sep 21 16:35:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71mt1r/suggestions_on_best_way_to_pick_up_your_butt/
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Lol, sorry the wording is a little weird.
So I started at 130ish lbs (now 112 and dropping!) and developed I guess what you would call a "mom butt" where my thigh and butt are kind of just one thing.
I want my butt to separate itself from my thigh (like it did in high school where I was 108 lbs). The thing is I'm restricting pretty heavily and don't have the energy for any strenuous exercise. I try to walk every day a mix of outside and on the treadmill for about an hour or 10,0000 steps.
I'm gonna start putting my incline at 10% on the treadmill but is there anything else I can do to build that definition?
[Rant/Rave] Yesterday was a really bad day, and today has been so wonderful! [long rant, tw suicidal]
/u/kimberlyjackson98 [5'4 | CW 223.8 lbs | 39.27| -7 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 21 16:32:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71msdb/yesterday_was_a_really_bad_day_and_today_has_been/
---
Im about to go into details but yesterday was a really really bad day I have had in a while. And I was so mad. So my friend was in labor and I had missed the ferry back to our hometown to get to the hospital. There was this mean lady going off on the cashier for her own damn fault of being late to the ferry (ferry stops boarding 2 mins before leave time so the ship can get up and running and leave for the time printed) and so after she was done yelling and embarrassing this girl for doing her job, I walked over and told the cashier girl it wasn't her fault the lady was late, that she was doing a wonderful job, and just because this lady was having a bad day it doesn't mean she should make this lady's day bad either. I felt really good for telling her this and even noticed a mans phone which he had left and returned it to him. So I though "I'm really racking up some good karma hope the rest of the day goes well"
Wrong.
Fast forward I'm at the hospital with my mother who insisted on staying there with me. It was no secret i told my mom prior I was honored my best friend would allow [me] to be in the room for the birth. So when it's time for the baby to come (3:30am and I had work at 8:30 am same day. ) my friends mother comes out to tell my mom that there isn't enough room in the delivery room for her to be there which is understandable to me (1 doc, 3 nurses, boyfriend, her, and my friends 3 year old daughter) I go thinking nothing off it but once the birth is over and my best friend asks me to bring in my mother to meet the baby, my mom is LIVID. How dare my friends mom embarrass her by saying there wasn't enough room, how she was rubbing it in my moms face, how my mom had had to put up with her all night, and that my mom didn't want to see the baby because she was so angry at my friends mom and couldn't stand being in the same room as her, not even to meet the baby.
At this point I'm just so exhausted. I try to explain to my mom that my friends mom didn't have a vendetta against her but that the room was literally crowded, only 3 outside people are allowed, and that abby had invited ME to come not her, that my mom decided to stay of her own volition and now my friend was asking for my mom post birth to meet the baby since my mom growing up was a second mom to her. She wouldn't have it. Walked into the room smug, hiding underneath a hoodie, not even walking up to peek at the baby. I was mad but didn't pursue it any further since I wasn't trying to have a happy day ruined. I decide I want to leave immediately after to give the new family some space and cuz I had work in a couple hours. Car ride home was a nightmare. All my mom could talk about was how upset and embarrassed she was, how she couldn't care less about the birth, how she was only there for "me" and more shit talking about my friends mom. I stayed quiet and decided to just deal with it because provoking her further would inevitably affect ME more than her.
I get on the ferry and take a half hour nap. I get home exhausted and numb look at the clock and realize I have work in 1hr 45 mins. I try in vain to sleep and end up crying next to my bf since I can't sleep. I'm so tired and yet CANT sleep. He wakes up and tells me to call in (employee manual says I need to give 2 hours notice before a call in) I get bitched at over the phone and told no matter what I have to come in for my 4hr 45 min shift. I'm crying and apologizing on the phone, I numbly agree to show up in a half hour and go.
The misunderstanding here was at the beginning of the week I had my 6:00am shift pushed back to 8:30am due to a postponed arrival. I thought this applied to both days which was ORIGINALLY input as such so when I called at 6:45 I was already "late" I try to explain this but decided it's not worth makin an "excuse" get told I'm gonna be written up and in my car ride decide I will apologize to the girls I work with. My eyes are bloodshot when I arrive I've had 4 shots of espresso and tear up when apologizing to the girls, all whom tell me it's not a big deal and that it's okay. I even apologize to the bitch who was a bitch over the phone. I just started so I literally didn't want this to be a bad first impression on me as a worker so I give it my fucking ALL RUNNING ON ABOUT 45 mins of sleep. I murdered the day I was so amazing.
On the way home my feet were killing me. The past 2 days all I had eaten were a bacon mcdouble and my coffee. I stopped and cried 3 times on the way home. My moms temper tantrum along with my work tension was too much to bare. My phone had died when I got home that morning and I left part of my charger in my moms car and I just needed a friend. I called my friend and she replied immediately. I'm pretty sure most of what I said was incoherent but she comforted me and it helped. Next I called my sister who only reaffirmed me more in that my mom was out of line she really understood me and the situation and made me feel even better. Still I cried lack of sleep along with nothing in my tummy made my head throb like I was on some horrible come down. I wanted to die. I didn't want to be an adult and deal with shit like this. I wanted so desperately to call my bf but as I lay in bed crying is when I realize he left his phone on accident.
Later that night I wake up and he's cleaning our apartment. I cry to him, and ask him to please remove his firearms from our home for a bit as long with some rope (shibari lovers) I wasn't doing good mentally and wasn't going to do anything, but still didn't want to leave it up to myself due to the state I was in. He agrees takes the stuff over to a friends. At this point I didn't want to rehash my horrible day so I tell him if he wants to know he can call my sister and she will tell him along that he should tell her I'm okay since she was worried about me. He heats me up my leftover half eaten gyro and brings me some OJ, water, and headache medicine.
I fall asleep and awaken this morning a new person. I feel enlightened. I step on the scale and also see I'm down almost 10lbs!!! I know it's still coupled to my food poisoning and not eating these last 2 days but I'm still happy. My weight on here is inaccurate but I've been logging it on MFP and it's there. So I'm 1lb away from what's listed on here and hope to keep that progress still going. Now my best friend who I talked to yesterday is walking over, I've missed her so much because she's been in Spain the last month and I can't wait to see her!
If you've read this all thank you 🥇🏆 and thank you all for giving me a community of people just like me and different in so many ways. I couldn't ask for a more understanding community of people who struggle the same ways as me. Best of wishes guys!!
[Discussion] What are your favorite yummy, low cal protein bars?
/u/NewEnglandAutumn [5'8 | 122 lbs | BMI 18.6 | GW: 115]
Created: Thu Sep 21 16:31:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71ms3t/what_are_your_favorite_yummy_low_cal_protein_bars/
---
I'm going on a school trip and last time all they served was carbs, carbs, and more carbs and didn't give us time for breakfast (last time I ended up binging on candy 😂), so I need good non-perishable options for breakfast like protein bars. I've tried Quest bars and they are def not my thing. They tasted like a chemical brick. So besides that what are your favorite protein/power/Granola bars that are both low calorie and tasty? Thanks guys
[Goal] Today was a good day :)
/u/FastPhoria [5'10 | 122 | 17.5 / 17.0 | GW: 119 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 21 15:35:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71mfit/today_was_a_good_day/
---
https://i.redd.it/vm701wf32bnz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] thanks ED logic
/u/7376549 [male | 165.5cm | cw 62kg | gw 50kg |]
Created: Thu Sep 21 15:24:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71mczk/thanks_ed_logic/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Maybe this isn't the right place but...
/u/LynnieTheLemon
Created: Thu Sep 21 15:05:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71m8fa/maybe_this_isnt_the_right_place_but/
---
So, I've been living with an eating disorder for 5 years, (I'm 19 now). I recently got into a huge, HUGE fight with my SO. He's been extremely unsupportive and just generally not understanding about the fight. Now, if you're like me and fast for over a day or two, then you obviously can understand the grouchiness and irritability that can cause.
He keeps minimizing it and cracking jokes about it. He acts like going without food for a "couple of days". Is nothing. And it's not. I admit I'm probably not trying my hardest to get better, but I am trying, I've gone down from fasting for around 5 days to 3. I still get woozy and feel faint but I'm trying my hardest to recover. Am I ready for a full recovery now? Probably not, but I'm trying. And I feel so alone that he doesn't understand that, especially since he's the only person I've told.
Again, maybe this isn't the right sub for this. And maybe this isn't the right place to vent, but I feel really liberated right now getting all of this off my chest in a community where everyone can atleast understand where I'm coming from. :)
[Help] Talking to my therapist is too hard
/u/Jangan-Menangis
Created: Thu Sep 21 14:54:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71m5ub/talking_to_my_therapist_is_too_hard/
---
I’m in recover for anorexia and my therapist, he’s such a nice guy and a great person, and he sees so clearly through my bullshit when I tell him that I’m not affected by the weight gain plan or “restoring weight”, but there’s so much more I want to tell him.
I’ve been getting suicidal thoughts lately, and Im shit scared that I might be depressed. I’ve been telling myself to bring it up with him but whenever I’m with him I just lock up completely.
I know why, it’s because I don’t want him to tell my parents that I’m thinking about death, I don’t want to see them upset since they’re the only ones stopping me.
Has anyone else gone through this? Should I just tell him or keep it inside?
[Other] I thought the woosh/whoosh was just a life changing bowel movement that got you to your goal weight
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 21 14:36:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71m1cx/i_thought_the_wooshwhoosh_was_just_a_life/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I found out late last night that my friend died...
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 96ish |17.6ish| 20F]
Created: Thu Sep 21 14:36:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71m1bh/i_found_out_late_last_night_that_my_friend_died/
---
I am beyond heartbroken. I just saw her last week...I can't believe that she's gone. She was only 23.
Today, my friends and I all held our own little memorial service for her. We laughed and cried. Bought 4 pizzas for everyone who wanted some. We wrote her name all over our hangout spot on campus.
She either OD'd or committed suicide. We're not sure of the details yet, but she had depression and was an addict.
I miss her already. She was so smart and nice.
I am bingeing so hard today...I'm already at 2000 calories. I don't even care. I just want to feel better. I'll resume restricting tomorrow. Fuck today.
[Rant/Rave] Changing Binges
/u/SqizzyMcDingleBerry
Created: Thu Sep 21 14:34:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71m0uq/changing_binges/
---
So I binged last night and I'm cursing myself for it, body check liking crazy and just being all round horrible to myself. But just now I realized that yes I did binge (6 cookies and 3 tablespoons of peanut) but in relation to what I used to call a binge ($40 worth of McDonald's, large block of chocolate and usually a 1.5L of full sugar cola) I'm actually doing sooooooo well. I've been restricting religiously for the last 5 weeks that now a handful of cookies is considered a binge. Still feeling kinda shitty about it but laughing at myself also. It's such a small slip up and I can easily fix it with extra exercise today. On my mobile so please flair as discussion or rant 😊
[Rant/Rave] I wish I was a boy
/u/kickkkasss [5'5 | CW:134 | GW:110 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 21 13:43:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71loa0/i_wish_i_was_a_boy/
---
I've been seeing a guy and he recently lost some weight and he looks super good and skinny. Like when he lifts his arms I can see his ribs. It made me feel pretty shitty about myself and has triggered me to lose some weight which thank god cause I was in a binge cycle from hell before that. But anyway this guy just looks skinny and good. So today I calculated his bmi and it's the same as mine! Like wtf why does he look so good at that bmi and I look like a fucking whale?? I think guys can pull off higher weights than girls and it makes me so jealous. Ugh
[Discussion] DAE feel like their feelings are completely dismissed once you utter the word "triggered"?
/u/Giraffemakinfriends
Created: Thu Sep 21 13:01:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71ldxs/dae_feel_like_their_feelings_are_completely/
---
I was triggered at my job. I was doing really well; I'm pregnant and beginning to eat healthy foods instead of junk foods, but the weight gain, which is normal, is giving me panic attacks so bad I worry about my baby. I was doing really well, though. Then an old man at my job called me overweight. I "laughed" and informed him that I was in fact, pregnant, and he said "you're an overweight pregnant, though. Be careful." And now I haven't gone into work in 3 days. Granted, I have strep throat but the thought of going into work terrifies me because now I'm thinking everyone just thinks I'm fat, not pregnant. When I mentioned to my husband that I felt triggered, he kind of laughed at me? Like being triggered is only something *extreme* liberals can feel while their being offended over ice cream or something. Like my feelings weren't validated because I used this word. Does that make sense? Eating food right now feels like shoving a molted pipe down my throat. I'm just scared I'm about to relapse really hard. Thanks for listening ❤️
[Help] What are some ways you gauge space?
/u/tattoosandcoffeee [5'3.75 | GW 108 | -12]
Created: Thu Sep 21 12:44:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71l9n5/what_are_some_ways_you_gauge_space/
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Maybe I'm crazy? Maybe Im not alone in this? But, I have body dysmorphia to the degree that i dont know my size or how much space I take up & it drives me so crazy that im doing CRAZY things like..Snapping pictures in stores next to mannequins for reference, standing close to strangers I envy to see size comparison, fitting into the smallest places I can (boxes, cubbys, dryers..) Ive always felt like im small framed and have taken all the test (wrist, measurements..) being 5'4 and 110lb most of my life...but I can shake the feeling that I'm HUGE. especially since gaining weight 😡
[Rant/Rave] I managed to stop a binge by my own reflection
/u/Atticus909 [5'4" | -18.4bs | 19M]
Created: Thu Sep 21 12:27:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71l5cm/i_managed_to_stop_a_binge_by_my_own_reflection/
---
I just need to get this out of my system, even though it isn't anything big, but ugh so I was doing so good until cravings kicked in. I managed to stop myself after eating about half a cup of trail mix (god that stuff is addicting, especially with the salted raisins), and a bowl of cereal. I've never been one to binge, but I caught a glimpse of my reflection as I shoved a handful of that addictive crack into my mouth and felt disgusted so I put the food away. I think it was what I needed to get me out of my anxious state of mind and bring me back to reality, thus stopping the binge. I'd hate so see how big the binge would have been if I didn't catch my reflection...
Anyways, my stomach feels so sick right now and I'm shaking a little, but I have tracked everything for today and am up to 1,000 calories. I hate that number, but I know it's under my BMR. I'm currently trying to calm myself down by entering my UGW into a TDEE calculator to see how much I would need to eat to maintain it, and am only a few hundred calories under. As weird as that sounds it's very comforting. I'm gonna take it easy the rest of the day. Thanks for listening to my stupid, anxiety filled thoughts. It's nice to have a place where I can share this stuff.
[Rant/Rave] New scale!
/u/WhattheNorris [5'2 | 154/129.6/110 | ❥]
Created: Thu Sep 21 11:49:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71kvis/new_scale/
---
Okay so I bought [this $26 scale](http://a.co/75lYvpB) after someone in the discord (thanks! btw) brought it up and talked about how it's super popular in the community.
And even though it's mean and told me I was 2 pounds higher than my other scale, there's no going back. *And* even though I know these aren't super accurate numbers, I still love having them. New obsession! Wew! [Here's all the things the app tells you](https://i.imgur.com/Fbyuprc.png) pls ignore my weight I just ate lunch ;_;7
Trader Joe's haul
/u/fleahi
Created: Thu Sep 21 11:08:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71kkxg/trader_joes_haul/
---
https://youtu.be/GlAKHnKRG-0
[Help] Lunch Recipes
/u/_NoNameNecessary_ [5'3" | CW 131lb | GW 100lb | BMI 23 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 21 10:38:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71kdgg/lunch_recipes/
---
I need some quick low cal lunch ideas please! (Can't flair on mobile)
[Discussion] What's everyone's favorite high calorie burn workout??
/u/tinywolfxo [5'4"|CW 124.4|HW 162|GW 105| F]
Created: Thu Sep 21 10:13:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71k6vh/whats_everyones_favorite_high_calorie_burn_workout/
---
I love riding my stationary bike. I peddle vigorously for an hour to burn 600+ calories. I also love doing Pilates workouts from YouTube that tell me the average calorie burn like [this one](https://youtu.be/aW3z6-LpB4g).
[Rant/Rave] Disappointed with myself
/u/coffeexsmokes [5'2" | 100 | -50 | 21F]
Created: Thu Sep 21 10:00:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71k3mb/disappointed_with_myself/
---
Trying to recover right now, and I've spent the entire time praying for a relapse. I miss being in the double digits. So now I hate myself cause I'm 105lbs and hate myself because I desperately want to be even less healthy. Fml. How can I be recovering and feel like this?
[Other] This picture from /r/shittyfoodporn actually curbed my appetite
/u/RichardStarrkey [6'0 | CW:61kg | GW:55kg | M]
Created: Thu Sep 21 09:26:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71jvdb/this_picture_from_rshittyfoodporn_actually_curbed/
---
https://imgur.com/fFG6AXh
[Discussion] Hypermetabolism when not very underweight?
/u/antelsa [5'11" | F]
Created: Thu Sep 21 09:25:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71jv48/hypermetabolism_when_not_very_underweight/
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So, for the past ~5 months, I've been maintaining a BMI on the cusp of underweight (fluctuating between 17.5 and 18.5) and eating around 1700-2200 kcal a day (I'm very tall, so this is maintenance for me). A week ago, I smoked weed for the first time in a very long time and got suuuuper hungry (like, probably ate 3500 calories hungry, which never happens when I'm sober). Since then, I've been super hungry and have been eating ~2500+ per day. Obviously I expected to gain, but apparently I've now lost three pounds? I know that underweight people need more calories than normal to gain weight (hypermetabolism), but does that apply if you were barely underweight in the first place? Obviously I'm not expecting professional advice but I'd love to hear any of your anecdotes 💕
“Well, it’s only been a year and you can’t control your binging.”
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 21 09:12:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71jrzf/well_its_only_been_a_year_and_you_cant_control/
---
https://i.redd.it/0vfhbs1t59nz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Introduction, because I needed to vent and see if I'm alone in this
/u/dat_ass_tho
Created: Thu Sep 21 09:00:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71jore/introduction_because_i_needed_to_vent_and_see_if/
---
Hello; long time lurker, this is my first post, so... hi everyone! Sorry for no flair, I'm on mobile.
I'm not really sure how to put this, so please bear with me. Essentially, I saw a picture of someone my boyfriend used to be involved with for the first time ever, and I felt betrayed because she's fat? Like, I felt offended that my boyfriend would sleep with someone fat. It sent me into this crazy spiral of self doubt and what it could say about me, and I feel like I can't trust him if he says anything about my appearance so if he says I look good or find, how do I know I'm not actually just a fat, ugly pig?
I feel like this is just ridiculous. I'm also just feeling kind of disgusted with him in general, because... I mean, he slept with someone fat and ugly? And he said he was attracted to her "in some parts". Like what kind of bullshit is that? Obviously you were attracted enough to her to sleep with her. And initially he denied even being attracted to her, but he conceded when I asked how he could sleep with someone he was not attracted to. I certainly can't do that.
I don't even know how to explain any of what I'm feeling properly, when I tried talking to him about it he just got mad at me for judging him and I can see how it would sound that way, but I'm not! It's about me, not him or her. I don't like how I feel this reflects on me. Does anyone know what I'm talking about at all?
[Tip] 50 calorie Chai Latte that's actually creamy and delicious
/u/edthrowawaywhoops [5'9"| CW: 130| GW: Kate Middleton| F]
Created: Thu Sep 21 08:48:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71jlwm/50_calorie_chai_latte_thats_actually_creamy_and/
---
1/2 Cup Oregon Chai "Slightly Sweet Chai Tea Latte Concentrate" (30cal)
3/4 Cup Almond Breeze Unsweetened Cashew Almond Blend (19 cal)
Mix and heat over the stove, whisking until hot enough. Add a sprinkle of cinnamon and unsweetened cocoa powder, and enjoy!
[Other] When the people at the pharmacy know you by name
/u/Pitaia [1.70cm | CW: aaaHHAHA | BMI: ? |GW: S M A L L]
Created: Thu Sep 21 08:22:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71jfsz/when_the_people_at_the_pharmacy_know_you_by_name/
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[removed]
[Help] Low calorie dessert?
/u/fluffy-potatoes-
Created: Thu Sep 21 07:14:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71j13l/low_calorie_dessert/
---
So I was wondering if any of you lovely people had a favorite low calorie dessert. I've looked on Pinterest and there are so many but I don't know if they taste good, or "normal". We are having a family get together in a couple of weeks and of course we are eating. I have volunteered to bring dessert. I already know I'm making fudge that everyone loves and is super high calorie. But I would like to make something else that tastes somewhat "normal" and is somewhat low in calories so maybe I will have something to eat that is safe (meaning I know exactly how many cals are in it). I was going to just pick something off Pinterest but I thought I'd ask here first to see if you guys have any ideals. Thank you!
[Help] Hard candy?
/u/ALonelySeaCucumber [5'6" | CW 139.6 GW 110 | 22.5 | -20.4 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 21 06:53:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71iwt8/hard_candy/
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I've been finding success with hard candy stopping hunger. What are your suggestions for hard candies? Sugar free? Any brands? I never trusted candy before, but now that I know I'm not going to binge on them I'm ready to try some new ones.
Found an episode of MTV's Fatcamp on YouTube...
/u/ssfbgm
Created: Thu Sep 21 06:53:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71iwr1/found_an_episode_of_mtvs_fatcamp_on_youtube/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] September 21st, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 21 06:53:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71iwni/september_21st_2017_question_of_the_day/
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Where do you think your road is going?
[Discussion] To anyone else experiencing a science-defying plateau...
/u/bananapeppr [161 | 49.8 | 19.7 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 21 06:42:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71iule/to_anyone_else_experiencing_a_sciencedefying/
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Let us bow our heads and pray
Dear gods of ed/disordered eating/dysmorphia,
please look on us with favor
and grant us a woosh.
also gods of CICO if you are listening
prove yourselves in the presence of your enemies
by giving us weight loss in accordance with our daily deficit
amen.
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support September 21, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Sep 21 06:11:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71iox9/weekly_emotional_support_september_21_2017/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! September 21, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Sep 21 06:09:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71iomz/daily_food_diary_september_21_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 21, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Other] fighting hunger - T I P S
/u/lostinaworldunknown
Created: Thu Sep 21 05:42:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71ijqv/fighting_hunger_t_i_p_s/
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[removed]
[Other] Thank you stranger!!
/u/EatMyInsides
Created: Thu Sep 21 05:15:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71if59/thank_you_stranger/
---
Okay, so... I was in the store (had to buy some stuff). All day I had been thinking about getting a chocolate bar or something. But then I got to it, and there she stood. A complete stranger, thin and beautiful. I walked right past the chocolate and straight to the register.
I wanted to walk up to her and thank her, because she helped me without even knowing it. I didn't buy any chocolate, just the (non-edible) stuff I needed and got out of there.
I feel somewhat proud of that.
[Rant/Rave] The only thing keeping me from being skeletal is my SO
/u/Anghoul [5'6''|BMI: 22.12|CW: 135|GW: 128|WL: 75|]
Created: Thu Sep 21 03:05:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71hwn9/the_only_thing_keeping_me_from_being_skeletal_is/
---
I've been there, having my pants rest on my hip bones, being able to see my shoulder bones through my shirt, looking sicker and sicker
It made him sad. He couldn't touch me or look at me, though at the time I was so new to that level of self loathing that I didn't even want to leave my room, let alone be touched. I still hate myself, I still want to die, but I cope better, I feel... guilty for it though. Like I shouldn't cope, I should ignore it and just be sick so I can be skinny.
I've also been obese and I have some loose skin which drives me up the fucking wall. My OCD is getting worse, I think I'm almost letting it get worse? I want to be thinner again, and I'm pretty good at restricting then doing a 3000 or so calorie day then restricting again- combined with exercise, it causes amazing whooshes.
I also work a labour job now, so... I have to be careful. I get so lost in it that I end up fainting, I remember one time I was at a friends house and I lost my vision and had to ask him to help me; his mom commented on my iron deficiency a lot.
I'm lucky to have a lot of nice, sensible people in my life. Very goddamn lucky.
I'm so stuck in life, I don't know what to do- I obsess about info, knowing how to do things, knowing how things work- and no matter what I do, no matter how good I can become at something, no matter how quickly I can catch onto things it's never goddamn good enough for me,
I don't know which to choose to do. I don't know what to do with my life. I feel like I'm just going to be a depressed, unmotivated, disgusting fucking idiot of a mess my whole life who feels like they can't draw or play their instrument because they feel fucking fat, because they ate too much that day.
I get a lot of credit, but I still don't know what I want to do with myself
why bother? I'm not good enough, I can't be, I can't afford school to get a diploma or PHD, I can't do anything well enough. I'm garbage. How is anything real? I could die at anytime, anyone could, everyone is going to at some point in time- anyone could be sick, I could be, how is this real? How is it real? How?
I'm so sick of all this going through my head everyday.
I'm so sick of being smart but being a fucking idiot, I'm so sick of not being able to do goddamn anything, I'm sick of being fat and ugly, I'm so tired. I'm so tired of coping so others don't watch me spiral. I'm so pathetic. I'll be no one, I'm going nowhere. I'm not funny, no matter how many times someone tells me I'm funny, I'm pretty, I'm this I'm that it doesn't matter fuckall
People following me home isn't even enough to convince me, I'll tell myself I should just sell myself to some gross fuck who has a loose skin fetish and be done with myself, give the money to my family and friends and be gone
I just want to disappear, it'd be easy.
I can't feel right, I have a lot of dark thoughts that I feel are... inappropriate and not worth mentioning, but they're there. I'm so wrong in the head, I don't know what to do, I don't know what the point is.
I don't know if anyone read all this through, thanks if you did? Try to not... feel obligated to say anything. I'm worthless garbage whose going nowhere,
I need to just stop myself before I get too aggressive with the self loathing.
I just keep thinking about throwing up. I keep waiting for the perfect time to starve. Winter is good because you can wear more clothes and hide it, kind of. If only everyone I know didn't notice. I guess I'm glad they care.
I hope you're all safe, good luck for the week, I'm sorry
Fog-Bone and Everything I Make With Stevia Tastes like Poison
/u/fog-bone
Created: Thu Sep 21 02:36:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71ht1t/fogbone_and_everything_i_make_with_stevia_tastes/
---
So I bought some stevia a couple days ago from the Freddie's. I haven't used stevia before as a replacement sweetener for sugar, but I was wanting to sweeten my coffee and tea without adding calories so I bought some.
Its. Awful. Wtf. It's nasty.
It came in a small, pill bottle looking container and it says Natural Stevia on it. I think it's got to be the right stuff since that's what the bottle says on it.
But everything I add it to, no matter how small of increments, gets this gross highly chemical tang to it and it's just disgusting.
Thing is I've gotten foods with stevie already in them and it tastes fine. But adding stevia I purchased makes things taste literally poisoned. WHY
In other news my husbands starting to catch on so 🙃
[Discussion] Hoarding food?
/u/throatmealcrunch [5'0" | 76lbs | 15.63 (new) 14.84 (old)| GW 75lbs | F]
Created: Thu Sep 21 01:58:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71hoby/hoarding_food/
---
Does anyone else do this?
I feel like a squirrel hiding nuts for winter. I have a growing collection of chocolates in my desk at work. Every time someone comes back from vacation bearing snacks, I take one or two and hide them away.
I don't eat them. I'm saving them for...I don't know... Some day when it will be safe to eat them.
I have a ziplock bag of various snacks at home, too. Little packs of things 100 calories or less. I love finding new things to add to my collection.
I just don't like to eat them.
[Help] Having a panic attack, someone please help
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: who knows? | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 21 01:51:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71hnez/having_a_panic_attack_someone_please_help/
---
I stopped weighing myself a few months ago, but I've been keeping meticulous track of everything I eat and all the exercise I do. My estimates were:
June 25- 107 (high estimate)
July 15- 100 pounds (low estimate) to 102 (high estimate)
July 21- 101 pounds (estimate) flight home
July 29- 47kg (103 pounds) after eating, showering, and flying and on an analog scale
Friday August 17- home. 29 days of progress lost. Gain: 4 pounds? 500 extra calories a day for 29 days?
August 17: 105 pounds
September 12: 99 (low estimate) to 101 (high estimate)
September 19: 97 (low estimate) to 100 (high estimate)
But I weighed myself today and... 111 fucking pounds. I thought the scale must be broken so I pulled out another one and tried on that, but it read exactly the same. I have no idea how I managed to delude myself into thinking I was losing for this long.
Please someone explain to me where I went wrong because I just don't understand. How could I be so wrong?
[Rant/Rave] Too upset to eat?
/u/loserlosing5
Created: Thu Sep 21 01:12:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71hi4x/too_upset_to_eat/
---
I feel like being upset goes too ways - you either want to order a pizza and cry, or you deny yourself all food and cry.
Does anyone else lose their appetite when they're in a bad mood?
Today I had an absolutely dreadful day at uni yet again and instead of my mind turning to self harm (which I'm attempting to quit) my first thought was "well good one dickhead you won't be eating tonight".
My appetite is completely gone when I'm upset, I just want to cry but I can't cry at home where my family are so I might go for a run and cry 🙃 while 🙃 running 🙃
[Help] haaaalp with cramps ?
/u/fairyqueen434
Created: Thu Sep 21 00:55:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71hfpr/haaaalp_with_cramps/
---
i get really bad period cramps so i already have those , and i usually also get constipated on my period, but rn i have these intestinal / stomach cramps that won't leave me alone... took a laxative to help with the constipation but ack... maybe i will take/eat something high in fiber ? other suggestions ? everything hurts :(
[Discussion] Anyone else repeat mantras?
/u/amoonshapedpool-
Created: Thu Sep 21 00:48:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71heqd/anyone_else_repeat_mantras/
---
I repeat things in my head like:
- You're not hungry you're thirsty/dehydrated
- Food is bad (juvenile I know)
- Hunger is beauty
It really does help me. If you repeat something often enough you'll believe it.
Does anyone else do the same or I am a lunatic?
I just binged probably 1000 calories ugh...
/u/starvingarthoe
Created: Thu Sep 21 00:29:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71hbvv/i_just_binged_probably_1000_calories_ugh/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Keep on getting this weightwatchers ad and it's really peeving me off (maybe too much?)
/u/lonas_ [6'00 | 145 | 20.86 | gw: 125 | M]
Created: Thu Sep 21 00:19:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71hado/keep_on_getting_this_weightwatchers_ad_and_its/
---
On youtube, I'm fucking constantly getting the worst weightwatchers ad. Set to this super grating, kitschy rendition of Another One Bites The Dust. "What's it like to lose your first ten pounds on Weightwatchers?" In a tone that feels almost like it's presuming that you capital-W Will lose those ten pounds. And god, it must be fucking great losing those ten pounds, the way those actors that are pretty attractive, conventionally, but not too attractive so people don't feel like losers, dance around their stupid scale and go dancing around their workplace like they found a percocet in the bathroom. "EVERY, POUND, IS A, VICTORY" flashing across the screen like it's fucking 1984 or something. Idk. it's like everything about it makes me want to puke my fucking brain out.
But why? I think that the premise itself of people losing weight healthily and Living Their Life Carefree is something I support, so it feels wrong to have such an embittered reaction to that. I just think it's so secretly fucking predatory. Building up this sense of ease in losing weight, acting like it's just a casual thing you can easily implant into your daily life, just to set up a deviation of expectations to make your customer base feel even shittier so that they're even further wedded to your platform.
I think maybe I'm just getting pissed off because I'm specifically having to watch it, over and over again. Unskippable too. Like, I know that Adsense probably derives what ad's it picks from my cookies or some shit, and I'm always hyperchondriacally looking up calorie amounts, health issues and their connections to disordered eating, solutions to hunger. The manic searching that if I ever looked at again in my history, I'd get a really icky feeling and get really self conscious about googling again. You get it.
So yeah. Feels a little shitty to get recurrent ads for a weight loss service when i'm kinda, like, involved with that already and doing just fine. Idk.
[Other] When you're fasting so instead of eating food you draw it 🤷🏼♀️ it's not the same
/u/sourgumm1es [5'4" | CW 148 | GW 125 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 21 00:01:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71h7r0/when_youre_fasting_so_instead_of_eating_food_you/
---
https://i.redd.it/rrslolhjf6nz.jpg
[Help] This is probably a weird question...
/u/luxklepto
Created: Wed Sep 20 23:50:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71h61g/this_is_probably_a_weird_question/
---
Does anyone else feel really sexually inexperienced for your age? I'm 20, and a lot of people my age constantly talk about getting laid, and I get so uncomfortable. For me, sex is like eating - it's for *other* people, not for me. I'm also not interested in sex that often, but when I do feel like I would want to have sex, I would feel guilty like I shouldn't be thinking that. It's the same guilty feeling I get for wanting food or eating too much and being embarrassed for having desires. I feel like I'm greedy, which I definitely am, but I'd be horrified to show it in front of others.
I fear embarrassment so much because I feel like when I was kid, I always did the wrong thing so it led to a lot of embarrassment. I think it plays into my ED of wanting be thin and not taking up space and not being noticed. I feel bad when I'm too loud or talk too much as well. I want to look like the really skinny 11-12 year olds. Like you know what I mean. Girls who have straight bodies, no boobs, and skinny legs. I don't ever want to be "sexy". I want to be associated with grey colors, not red.
[Rant/Rave] Losing
/u/wrappedinbones
Created: Wed Sep 20 23:34:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71h3l9/losing/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] What are your favorite fast food restaurant/items?
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 112.8 | GW: 105 | M/15]
Created: Wed Sep 20 21:47:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71gluh/what_are_your_favorite_fast_food_restaurantitems/
---
I really like El Pollo Loco, I can order a single chicken breast at like 200 calories and it won't look suspicious. Carl's Jr also has 200 calorie tacos which isn't ideal but it's good compared to other stuff
[Help] what should my calorie goal be?
/u/vulspine
Created: Wed Sep 20 21:06:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71gebv/what_should_my_calorie_goal_be/
---
[removed]
[Help] How do you avoid food when going on dates?
/u/sp_600 [5'7🌻107🌻16.8🌻20f]
Created: Wed Sep 20 21:04:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71gdxf/how_do_you_avoid_food_when_going_on_dates/
---
And why does it seem like every damn social interaction revolves around food. Uggh
[Rant/Rave] Fuckin wine on an empty stomach (rant)
/u/imamoocow
Created: Wed Sep 20 20:39:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71g984/fuckin_wine_on_an_empty_stomach_rant/
---
[removed]
[Goal] i drew a thing
/u/skelle-constellation [5'6" | 141 | 22.7 | UGW: 108]
Created: Wed Sep 20 20:31:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71g7n3/i_drew_a_thing/
---
https://i.redd.it/9oymzx21e5nz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] When I'm not losing I'm failing
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Wed Sep 20 20:23:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71g5vf/when_im_not_losing_im_failing/
---
I feel so pathetic even feeling this way. I have an awesome life. I drive, have a great job, two degrees and working on a third, amazing husband, adorable kitty - and yet not losing on the scale is all I think about. **It's what my happiness hinges on.**
My weight isn't life threatening, it's not even an inconvenience. I'm back down to a healthy BMI, so why isn't that enough? Why does this voice keep telling me that if I don't eat maybe the scale will move tomorrow. That because I've 'over' indulged (eaten more than 1400 calories) I'm unworthy of feeling beautiful in my own skin. I'm sitting here right now hungry and it's laughable because I know that I don't know what true hungry feels like. That the dizziness and pangs are always only temporary. That what I voluntarily put myself through is an unavoidable and never ending reality for some.
I know that my thoughts and feelings are ridiculous and selfish. I **know** this...and yet I can't stop. No, I don't want to stop. I don't want to go back to seeing myself in the mirror and wondering how I did this to myself. The overhanging stomach, the rolls of back fat, the overwhelming shame that I feel in the pit of my bloated stomach and causes me to try on outfit after outfit before I decide to just wear a huge jumper over everything so I can cover up the physical manifestation of my lack of self control.
And then the fear sets in. You were 87kg when you started this. 80kg now. You were 75kg two years ago and you still felt fat. **Will you just always feel fat?** Does this need you have to become smaller just feed into your already existing anxiety and depression?
Should you go back to your psych?
How would I tell her?
"HEY remember when I got better? Well now I'm weighing myself before and after every time I take a shit" - ridiculous. I. AM. RIDICULOUS.
And while I type this out it sounds absurd, because like I said I have a rather envious life. So then why am I trying to bargain with myself for food? Telling myself that if I just skip lunch, since I had breakfast, that then I can balance out my weekly calorie intake.
Why won't I just buy bigger clothes and accept the size 16 tags?
Freaking out over bubble tea
/u/StopBeingShit
Created: Wed Sep 20 20:18:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71g4v0/freaking_out_over_bubble_tea/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I hate how my brain works
/u/Lilly_Beans [Height 5'2.5'' CW :P GW at least 90]
Created: Wed Sep 20 19:53:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71g001/i_hate_how_my_brain_works/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I get to weigh myself this weekend...and I'm scared.
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 96ish |17.6ish| 20F]
Created: Wed Sep 20 19:46:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71fykk/i_get_to_weigh_myself_this_weekendand_im_scared/
---
I've been at college since August 23rd, and haven't weighed myself since then.
A lot has changed in the last month. My ED has completely taken over my brain, and my average caloric intake per day is around 600. On one hand, I think I can see visible weight loss. On the other, I still feel like a fat whale and I can see the areas on my body that need slimming.
I'm both so excited and so nervous about weighing myself because I feel like I won't be low enough. I'm guessing I'm around 96 right now, but I could be anywhere from 93 to 100. As a short person, that 7 pound range really matters.
I'm afraid that I'll weigh more than I did when I came to college, or be the same weight. I don't want all of this restriction to have been for nothing.
At the same time, I'm so excited to finally have a number to be working with.
Hopefully I can buy a bathroom scale soon so that I can just be keeping track of this every day instead of waiting months at a time.
[Thinspo] Duckie Thot thinspo 🖤
/u/amoonshapedpool-
Created: Wed Sep 20 18:59:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71fowv/duckie_thot_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/nv0zwnlnx4nz.jpg
I'm relapsing
/u/amoonshapedpool-
Created: Wed Sep 20 18:46:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71fm6r/im_relapsing/
---
[removed]
[Help] Help motivate me!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 20 18:34:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71fjit/help_motivate_me/
---
[removed]
[Intro] Think it's time to admit I have a problem
/u/Takeaction16
Created: Wed Sep 20 18:14:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71ff9w/think_its_time_to_admit_i_have_a_problem/
---
Hi all,
First time poster long time lurker. Love reading this sub it makes me feel less abnormal.
Brief background - I've been overweight most of my life and finally learned junior year of college how to get healthy, workout, & count calories to lose weight. This was also the first time I purged - though I had binged plenty without classifying it.
After graduating and getting a job I became a lot less active and more stressed - got to my highest weight of 222lbs. First half of the next year I vowed to do better and lost 35 lbs, second half of the year I gained it almost all back. Next year I lost 30 lbs and gained most back again. This year I have lost 25 but see myself gaining it back.
Throughout this there were times when I would binge and purge but I never considered myself to have an ED. I mean I'm too "old & professional" for that right? I was always in control. Pretended like it was normal to reward myself reaching a mini goal by eating a disgusting amount of fast food and throwing it up. Or to plan binge nights when my boyfriend was out of town.
These past few months though I have to admit it has gotten out of control. I no longer can seem to stop - I will do great for 3 weeks then spend the next week bp'ing. I've started purging more than once a day and it's really messing with my psyche and emotions. I have more nights where I just want to stay in and not face myself. I've even bpd at work.
No one in my life knows about this though to me it is so obvious sometimes! I need help and think it's about time I admit it - even if I just start here
Thanks for taking the time to read
[Rant/Rave] Alone for 5 days and convincing myself not to b/p myself to death.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW: too much | UGW 105 | 24/F]
Created: Wed Sep 20 17:52:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71faku/alone_for_5_days_and_convincing_myself_not_to_bp/
---
I guess I'm posting for accountability. I know I shouldn't b/p, but that voice telling me I should is always here no matter how quiet it might be sometimes.
Although I've lived alone, I had been working and never had 5 days with zero responsibilities for quite some time.
I want to fast for those 5 days. Physically and mentally I feel I need it. I've had bronchitis, then the flu, and now a candida issue (thanks to all the anti-biotics) for the past 6 weeks. I know 'detoxing' is bullshit, but I need one mentally. It would also help break the fucking plateau I've been in.
I don't want to b/p, but I do. I did it the other night and it felt horrible after having restricted so well. It's a waste of time, money, energy, etc.
So why am I still convincing myself not to do it? I've not even craving anything. It's ridiculous. "What if I do it one more time to actually convince myself I don't want to do it?" Yeah, no.
Fuck when people think EDs are a choice. Sure, we make a lot of decisions, but the war in my head is so exhausting.
[Rant/Rave] Update
/u/elliebearrrr [F21|5'6"|HW:190 SW:175 CW:148]
Created: Wed Sep 20 17:37:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71f7ck/update/
---
TL/DR: don't bother
Soooo I posted last week that I was sat in the doctor's waiting room, and I was going to finally talk about my ED and get some help.
Fast forward a week later (post-binge yet AGAIN) and I feel like absolute shite
The doctor sent me for a blood test which I had last Friday and wrote my referral to the local eating disorder services, which was apparently labelled "urgent" and yet here I am, still waiting to be contacted. I appreciate I'm just one teeny insignificant patient in their care but don't they realise that with every day that passes I'm slipping further and further into blackness? I hate how a week to them might seem like no time at all to make me wait for help but to me, it has felt like forever and it could utterly break me. Every day my resolve to recover gets weaker and weaker, every day I hate myself more and every single day I'm struggling to function.
Fuck recovery. Let me disappear until I'm skin and bone. I want to be whittled away from the inside out until even the smallest touch could snap me like a twig. I want people to be concerned about my health, I want people to not want to touch me for fear of hurting me, and I want for all the screaming to stop.
I don't know how much longer this battle can be fought. I hate the way I look, I hate my weight, I hate my stupid fat wobbly stomach and my cellulite thighs, I hate my flabby arms and saggy bum but most of all I hate how I can't control food the way it controls me.
I'm 21, training for my dream career at my dream school, I'm so privileged in so many ways and I should be so grateful but I just can't seem to be happy.
All I want is to be liked. And I know I can't do that with all this fat swamping me
I want to be heartbreakingly beautiful but all I am is heartbroken.
Sorry this was negative and ranting but I genuinely feel like I have nowhere else left to turn. Hoping nobody will really read this
Love and strength to you all x
[Thinspo] Thinspo found while trying to prevent a binge. Didn't work
/u/i-have-8-nickels
Created: Wed Sep 20 17:10:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71f1hn/thinspo_found_while_trying_to_prevent_a_binge/
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https://i.redd.it/s25dwmo5e4nz.png
[Tip] Dessert Delight Tazo teas. Yes.
/u/foxekiwi [5'7"|fat, yo|F]
Created: Wed Sep 20 16:30:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71ese6/dessert_delight_tazo_teas_yes/
---
I have seen 3 different flavors so far, Glazed Lemon Loaf, Butterscotch Blondie, and Vanilla Bean Macaron. The lemon is absolutely fantastic; sweet and delicious, and smells like happiness. I'm not a butterscotch fan, but I was pleasantly surprised. It smells strongly of butterscotch, but tastes more like a vanilla brownie with brown sugar icing than butterscotch in my opinion. The vanilla bean macaron is a very smooth vanilla cookie. When I tried Celestial's Sugar Cookie Sleigh Ride last Christmas (which was popular on this sub) I found it almost too strong, but this is smooth, sweet, and smells like a vanilla butter biscuit. The lemon is, imo, the best of the three, but man, these will REALLY curb a sweet craving!
[Other] So this absurdist meme account posted this..... hmmmmm
/u/sp_600 [5'7🌻107🌻16.8🌻20f]
Created: Wed Sep 20 16:29:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71es6f/so_this_absurdist_meme_account_posted_this_hmmmmm/
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https://i.redd.it/5ub9xidv64nz.jpg
[Discussion] "Sweetheart, you're too pretty to buy cigarettes"
/u/RedditRanOutOfNamess [5'9 | GW: 120 | -15 | F21]
Created: Wed Sep 20 16:19:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71eptu/sweetheart_youre_too_pretty_to_buy_cigarettes/
---
Then you also probably think that I'm too pretty to bake, eat, and throw up an entire batch of brownies. I need the cigarettes to control my binges. Anyone else dealing with do-gooders trying to stop one of their bad behaviors?
Someone please tell me to start restricting again
/u/lucky246
Created: Wed Sep 20 15:52:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71ejhu/someone_please_tell_me_to_start_restricting_again/
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[removed]
[Other] My daily food diary over the last 5 days
/u/NewEnglandAutumn [5'8 | 122 lbs | BMI 18.6 | GW: 115]
Created: Wed Sep 20 15:40:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71egpm/my_daily_food_diary_over_the_last_5_days/
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https://i.redd.it/gkhihfv3y3nz.jpg
Black bean rice & Cilantro bowl
/u/fleahi
Created: Wed Sep 20 15:31:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71eefv/black_bean_rice_cilantro_bowl/
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https://youtu.be/Lxmx--hqYWs
[Rant/Rave] I did it!!
/u/fiyacht524 [5'6" |CW 54kg |BMI 19| GW:48kg| Female]
Created: Wed Sep 20 15:25:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71ecyt/i_did_it/
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I did it guys. I pooped!!
Haven't had any traffic down in that area for the last three days, was about to give in and take a laxative when it happened.
My friend offered me half a flapjack earlier, I ate it because "hey! Fibre!" and also hadn't eaten yet.
Cut to three hours later, me finally pooping.
Going to celebrate with some Netflix and a cup of peppermint tea :)
Binging on safe foods lol, except the cheese
/u/dbk1982 [5'2" 35F |SW 215 | CW 208 | LW 140| UGW 115 ]
Created: Wed Sep 20 15:10:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71e90c/binging_on_safe_foods_lol_except_the_cheese/
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https://i.redd.it/8pn0fp2os3nz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] BrOwNIe DiEt~~~~~~
/u/slowlydoesit1 [163cm | CW: 58.3 | GW1:48]
Created: Wed Sep 20 15:04:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71e7cm/brownie_diet/
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[removed]
[Help] My happiness depends on my boyfriend, and I need help changing that
/u/AccaliaOmg [5'3 | 112| 19.7 | -18 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 20 15:00:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71e6fg/my_happiness_depends_on_my_boyfriend_and_i_need/
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My emotions are usually all over the place, and always have been for as long as I could remember. I was diagnosed with depression & anxiety and took pills that made me feel like a zombie for a couple years, but I'm off it now and my moods returned to how it was before. Anyways so I've been with this AMAZING guy for the last six and a half months (but we started getting close a couple months before that) and he's lit up my whole world, and suddenly Ive been so happy, and since he's been in my life, my mood has been relatively stable.
Well, after a long string of complicated events, we cant really talk or hangout that much anymore. We're still in contact, but don't talk as much as we used to (school related busyness) and since the communication has decreased I've been sO sad. When I'm sad/anxious, my ~bad behaviours~ come out. Suddenly, I ended up getting suck in a b/p cycle again, counting my calories again, self harmed after the first time in nearly two years, and yeah. Yuck.
Logically, I know he has a lot of studying he has to do, but I never knew that I really put all of my happiness on him, and that I'd be happy whether we could talk or not. I've just been really, incredibly miserable since haven't been talking as much, and it's affecting my motivation to study and do other day to day activities.
I need help in how to find happiness in myself. I was debating taking a break from the BF for awhile to find happiness before getting back with him (quote from English class: "How can you be a good, loving partner if you don't even love yourself?") But I love him too much to completely drop him- even if it's temporarily.
I was also thinking of starting a "happiness journal" and writing. I know it's cheesy lol.
Thanks for reading my ramble . Any any any any help is appreciated
(and oh god I need to end this b/p cycle before I get fat lol)
[Help] |Help/Advice| Maintenance calorie math check
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |104 | -116 | 20A]
Created: Wed Sep 20 14:50:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71e3w5/helpadvice_maintenance_calorie_math_check/
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I'm horrible at math so I'm curious if this checks out and need some help to make sense of it.
My last weekly average was 870 calories and I lost a pound. My monthly average was 820; I lost a pound each week. So that means I was eating at a rough deficit of 500 since a pound is 3500 calories. (500x7)
Now, I added 500 to 820 and got 1,320. Would it be correct to assume that I would maintain 104lbs if I ate 1,320 calories a day w/o exercise?
[Rant/Rave] Do I want this enough?
/u/Cockroach-Boy
Created: Wed Sep 20 14:30:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71dyim/do_i_want_this_enough/
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I know what I want. I hate my fat. But I feel like I don't hate it enough. I see everyone else reaching their gws and restraining and losing. I've just been stagnant aside from the rare woosh. I feel like I'm not trying hard enough and I hate that, but not enough to change it.
I'm not happy, I'm not content. . Would complacent be the right word? How do you guys deal with that? Looking at thinspo doesn't help me much, and I keep thinking it'll just. . Happen one day. Idk. Suggestions?
I am doing a meal plan, but my family encourages me to stray from that which leads to a b/p cycle. Idk. It's exhausting going in circles. . .
I'm only 10 pounds away from a healthy BMI. I lost 90 pounds a few years ago and put none of it back on, at least. But I miss being able to restrict for days and days. Now I eat thinking I can just p/ it. . . Idk idk. How can I break the cycle, lose weight and develop a healthy relationship with food all at once?
[Help] can a "cheat day" cause a whoosh?
/u/7376549 [male | 165.5cm | cw 62kg | gw 55kg | ]
Created: Wed Sep 20 14:21:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71dweq/can_a_cheat_day_cause_a_whoosh/
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i’ve been at a like 800 deficit with a few 24hr fasts for weeks now & i’ve only lost about 1kg :/ i’ve heard that having a cheat day of like 2000kcal or whatever can help trigger a whoosh.. i’ve also heard that fasting for 2-3 days can do so.
i can’t fast for that long, my roommate would notice and she knows about my ED so there’d definitely be questions i couldn’t deal with.
but i’m also really struggling to get myself to "cheat"?? like omg i thought after this long restricting i’d be desperate to binge. and i think on some level i have the desire. like, if you put a vegan chili cheese dog & a raw snickers in front of me rn i’m p sure i’d be all over that. but when i try i only get like one slice of pb toast in before like freezing up & i just CAN’T go over 1200 MAX.
so... sorry, i’ve rambled, but, help? would it be worth pushing myself to eat more for today, or should i just.. try to be patient?
what triggers a whoosh for you guys?
[Thinspo] 😍😍😍😍❤️
/u/tinywolfxo [5'4"|CW 125.8|HW 162|GW 103| F]
Created: Wed Sep 20 13:11:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71dekq/_/
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https://instagram.com/p/BZQpy2whD4m/
[Discussion] Ouchhhh
/u/ohwellolivia
Created: Wed Sep 20 12:52:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71d9q3/ouchhhh/
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So I just broke an 85 hour fast with some sushi (super safe for me, even though plain rice isn't but whatevs 🙄) and I'm in SO much pain. This is my first over 24 hour fast. Did I overdo it with the sushi? Should I have started smaller? Anyone else ever experience this?
Edited because I forgot to add: IM SO CLOSE TO MY FIRST GOAL WEIGHT I CAN TASTE IT!!! I have another week and a half to get there, but I lost HELLA weight this week so hopefully I'll be there sooner!
[Discussion] So I just broke my 85 hour fast with some sushi (super safe for me, even though plain rice isn't but whatevs) and I'm in SO much pain. This is my first over-24-hour fast. Did I overdo it with the sushi? Anyone else experience this?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 20 12:50:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71d92c/so_i_just_broke_my_85_hour_fast_with_some_sushi/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] NoOoOoOo...
/u/JOP17 [151cm | 55.9kg | 25.94 | GW: 44kg | Female]
Created: Wed Sep 20 12:43:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71d7fq/nooooooo/
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I was SO CLOSE to my goal weight. So close. Then I fucked everything up. In a month I've managed to go up, like, 10kg. Talk about a freakin' binge. 😟
Now I've been meaning to fast and I'm finding it so tough to get back into it. I'm starting again tomorrow.
But maaaaan. I just feel all icky and gross. I feel like this post is pretty pointless but I just wanted to get it off my chest, see if any of you guys relate right now.
LE SIGH.
I'm telling myself it's just a blip I'll get over. Then it'll be fine.
[Intro] Intro
/u/Sevenan [5'4 | SW:152 | CW: 135 | GW: 120 | Vanilla Coke Zero]
Created: Wed Sep 20 12:33:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71d4pu/intro/
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Hi friends! Been lurking for a few months, finally decided to join.
About me:
* 20 something person, in college.
* Lots of anxiety about everything all the time always.
* Still play Skyrim after like 6 years or whatever
* Like to knit, but not very good at it.
* Like cooking, don't like eating it
* Really good at self-sabotage
* Have one dog, always wanted a cat, but sadly allergic to them.
Really appreciative of this safe space!!
[Other] I never really realized how fucked up I am until today.
/u/Giraffemakinfriends
Created: Wed Sep 20 11:11:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71cjdn/i_never_really_realized_how_fucked_up_i_am_until/
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So I'm pregnant at the moment so I'm eating all the things for the sake of my child. But I'm constantly dreaming about the moment I give birth and I can drop all this weight. I didn't even breastfeed my son so I could lose quicker (you have to eat an extra 500 or so cals a day when breastfeeding). I don't feel guilty about that. Formula gave my son everything he needed AND adorable pudge rolls :)
Anyway, I was walking around Walmart and noticed all of the little girl workout clothes. The size 7-8 sports bra and shorts.. guys. I bought them. For me. As my goal clothes. I only spent $10 on this fucked up dream but I'm looking at them now and thinking "do I really want to be the size of a 6 year old?
Yes. Yes I do. I'm going to fuck my kids up. I need to get better.
[Rant/Rave] I'm so fucking insecure it hurts my relationship with my bf 😞
/u/CassTheUltimateBA [5'10 | 140.2 | 20.1 | 85 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 20 11:03:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71chft/im_so_fucking_insecure_it_hurts_my_relationship/
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I absolutely hate my fucking body. Hate it. Tmi/ kinda nsfw i guess? This turned into a longer rant than i thought, sorry
I dont like being naked. I am never fully naked outside of showering for longer than like 3mins.
My shirt never comes of during sex. My bf will always be like come onnnn babe and start to take it off of me and no matter how turned on i am i instantly no longer want to have sex if he keeps pushing it. By pushing it i mean like asking more than 3 times.
Afterwards we always cuddle, and he's totally fine being 100% naked. I like him being naked too i mean he's hot and it makes him happy. I though dont like not wearing pants and feel so fucking bad about myself that i wont ever sleep without underwear on if im not wearing pants. But i dont wear underwear during the day. Btw guys fucking mindblowing how much comfortable it is to not wear underwear during the day.
I feel SO FUCKING BAD ABOUT IT. It legit upsets him that i hate my body. And not in the i want to just see your body because youre hot and thats what i want. The other day he looked like he was about to cry and kept his eyes closed and was super quiet, which means hes about to cry and he hates crying. I kept asking whats wrong and he was like no i dont want to upset you. Then after i kept pushing it he finally real quietly was like I feel like you dont trust me, weve been dating 8 months and i dont ever get to see you naked. I love you and your body i dont see why you dont. Youve lost over 40lbs in the time weve been dating and youre just hating your body more. Then i start tearing up and almost cry and hes upset and its just terrible.
He deserves someone that isnt fucking shitty like me and hates themselves.
[Other] A new comic... with a twist! My fiancé wrote this one!
/u/Nude-prude [169cm| 🍑:nudeprude 124.8lbls |19.82|]
Created: Wed Sep 20 10:48:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71cdix/a_new_comic_with_a_twist_my_fiancé_wrote_this_one/
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https://i.redd.it/zpuu4ydxh2nz.jpg
[Discussion] DAE hate it when people try to justify their shitty actions by saying they had good intentions?
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Wed Sep 20 10:44:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71cchi/dae_hate_it_when_people_try_to_justify_their/
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It drives me crazy when people do that. E.g. even though she *knows* I have binging issues, my mom will tell me when she gets takeout, and it's basically because "just in case you want some" or "because I know you like veggie pizza" or something. It just feels thoughtless, imo. Because she isn't taking into consideration who I actually am, and is instead relying on general notions of what is helpful to most other people. Idk. Do you get what I mean?
Edit: another (more serious) example is when people say racist shit or they appropriate things, but then try to excuse themselves "because they didn't intend to harm anyone." DRIVES ME FUCKING CRAZY.
[Rant/Rave] please tell me I'm not the only one
/u/starpocalypse [4'10 | justfat | UGW: 77 | 🍑: starpocalypse]
Created: Wed Sep 20 10:18:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71c67g/please_tell_me_im_not_the_only_one/
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I envy girls who have other girl friends/friends in general that they can count on to hang out with. I see them even here, on Peach, outside of reddit, everywhere.
I feel like all I have is my boyfriend. I can't trust my one girl friend because we're so competitive with our EDs, and I have this sneaking feeling that while she likes to talk shit about some of her friends to me and vent, that she does the same with them and talks shit about me.
Our other friends, mutual friends, are also shitty people. They've stolen stuff from me freshman year. Little stuff like food and whatnot, and their reasoning was "[starpocalyse] doesn't use it anyway" -- but srsly wtf? I CANNOT deal with that level of untrustworthiness. There's been a lot of back and forth and everyone just is so toxic to one another. Why are girls like this? (edit: I know guys can be too, I apologize for any offense)
So, I just want friends to hang out with. Friends to do stuff with. Friends to take silly instagram pics with. My boyfriend can do that but it's so sad when he is all I have.
I don't know what to do, except to be thinner and living more luxe than all of them (except one of them, one of the ones who stole stuff from me/felt entitled and who's super thin but she's frumpy, and honestly fucking stupid about money and how to use it, and has a shit degree, so I'm not concerned about doing better than her).
[Thinspo] One of my favorite music vids; and def thinspo
/u/PippiLee97 [5'7"| 140lbs | -27lbs | F]
Created: Wed Sep 20 10:07:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71c3ev/one_of_my_favorite_music_vids_and_def_thinspo/
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https://www.youtube.com/attribution_link?a=ikRA4CisB6U&u=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DsBzrzS1Ag_g%26feature%3Dshare
[Help] 42 steps forward, 57 steps backward - fellow water hoarders how long to debloat?
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Wed Sep 20 09:34:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71bv0d/42_steps_forward_57_steps_backward_fellow_water/
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I surprised myself last week and committed to eating what I wanted and no training. It was blissful as I posted here but now the ED is screaming. Every day is an epic battle to convince myself to eat. I try to be rational - eat as usual before the indulgent week and assess your weight in 2 weeks. If you feel awful, then lose weight but the bloat isn't going away. I'm also back to training which certainly isn't helping since I'm sore. All I want is to not eat but I felt like such crap before last week and don't want to go back to feeling so depleted but if I'm honest I doubt a week even if I ate all the things was enough to replete me physically and mentally. Just wish I could go back to my size last week. This bloating and likely fat gain is making me regret everything which is a huge hit to trying to recover. How long do you give yourself after indulging for days to lose the bloat? I can't even look in the mirror when showering, feel so awful.
[Discussion] Who else counts calories in a notebook?
/u/squamouspuppies [5'10" | 24M]
Created: Wed Sep 20 09:09:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71bp2w/who_else_counts_calories_in_a_notebook/
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Just curious. I feel like everyone uses MFP, but I've always written everything out. My current phone is too old and janky to reliably use apps, and I know you can use the website also, but eh. Plus, being able to flip through months upon months of logging makes me feel like I can see how much progress I've made.
[Help] Staying sharp at work while restricting
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Wed Sep 20 09:02:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71bncv/staying_sharp_at_work_while_restricting/
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So of course I picked the two weeks before I start a new job to begin heavily restricting again. Last time I did this my work performance suffered majorly and I know I'll need to knock it out of the park in my first few months, but I can't stand being this sack of fat anymore. Any tips on how to make it work?
[Discussion] Does anyone else get paler in the face when restricting?
/u/Lidostis4
Created: Wed Sep 20 08:24:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71beez/does_anyone_else_get_paler_in_the_face_when/
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I feel like it's happening to me.. How long did it take for you to notice the change if you have it?
EDIT: Also, maybe comment if it doesn't happen to you? I want to see how many ppl sorta get it
[Discussion] What do you do / tell yourself after binge to get back on track?
/u/smalldicksarein
Created: Wed Sep 20 08:20:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71bdjk/what_do_you_do_tell_yourself_after_binge_to_get/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] binged
/u/shiraruru
Created: Wed Sep 20 07:44:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71b5jk/binged/
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hi. throwaway acc, but i lurk here a lot. below's just my feelings about binging—terrific way to introduce myself, huh?
anyways.
its... not even three days into restriction. i spent the last three weeks eating and eating and eating and never stopping. i thought i could just stop binging for a week, but no. that didn't happen. aaaaaaaahhhhh
i went up three kgs and thankfully one kg was water weight
maybe the other two's food weight, but i don't really know. the two days i've restricted had me losing 0.8 kg which isn't that bad? but! i! derailed! all! that! progress! with! today!
ha! ha! ha!
not only that, the ed thoughts are starting to really kick in. i didn't have them as bad as it is now back at a lower weight, which is incredibly stupid (i feel) but there's nothing i can do about it, can i?
oh my god.
i'm not stepping on the scale until next week sunday, i promise. at this rate i'm going to ruin my progress. happy thoughts. happy thoughts. happy thought: at least i've restricted two days in a row.
i haven't done that in three weeks.
[Discussion] DAE get sick after eating "normal" portions
/u/trying97 [CW 130 | GW 110]
Created: Wed Sep 20 07:32:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71b2wz/dae_get_sick_after_eating_normal_portions/
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I just had dinner yesterday at a restaurant (I ate nothing all day beforehand but 10 cheez it's and 1/3 of my Arctic zero pint.) I had a bowl of tofu nabe that was probably around 450 calories. It's something I used to be able to finish and still be hungry after, but when I got almost done I started having horrible stomach pains like I was going to throw it all up. I guess my stomach is shrinking? Anyone else?
[Help] The self pressure to be thin makes me want to kill myself.
/u/Lunnaris [5' | CW: 134,4 | UGW: 110,2 | 24F]
Created: Wed Sep 20 07:22:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71b0uy/the_self_pressure_to_be_thin_makes_me_want_to/
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You can see my stats and I've said it in a previous post: I'm fat. I need to lose at least 20 pounds to look "normal".
But this restrict/fast/binge cycle is too much for me to handle. It's making my soul as empty as my stomach.
I'm suicidal, you know? Shit happens.
And my weigh and all this calories counting obsessions are sending me overboard.
I don't want to die because I'm fat, but when my brain collapses I enter into this deep desperation and self loathing.
I don't have therapy until October the 16th, and I'm scared. I've been over suicide watch but I need advice from people who are fighting the same fight as me.
Please, help.
[Rant/Rave] Bmi 14.7, still fat why?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 20 07:18:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71azwp/bmi_147_still_fat_why/
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[removed]
[Other] Thought I'd share with you what my favorite time of the day looks like - Lunch in the car. One hour of putting my feet up, Netflix and SF Red Bull <3
/u/yesyeshihello [157cm | CW: 44.6kg | BMI: 18.09 | 27F]
Created: Wed Sep 20 06:54:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71av46/thought_id_share_with_you_what_my_favorite_time/
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https://i.redd.it/1jh6wuw7c1nz.jpg
[Intro] I'd like to introduce myself. Recently I have been feeling really stupid for getting triggered over a guy. It's not the guy that's the problem it's definitely me. I've restarted restricting because I feel like I am ugly and things would be better if I were thinner. Which I can say is true for me
/u/i_love_junk_food [156cm | CW huge| BMI massive | Weight Lost 7kg | Gender F]
Created: Wed Sep 20 06:33:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71aqyn/id_like_to_introduce_myself_recently_i_have_been/
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Sorry for the literal essay below :( I suppose I just need to vent and am wondering if anybody else can relate. I've had other subs tell me that I need to just stop being hard on myself.lol
I think because I have a little bit too much time on my hands as I've let it eat me up. This guy who is not that interested in me has been on my mind CONSTANTLY and I hate myself for it. We flirt a lot and hang out from time to time but I feel a lot of lust for him and I wouldn't say he feels the same about me. He probably just likes my attention. He went home for ten days and I saw that he temporarily changed his whatsapp pic (feel stupid af writing that) of him and some super skinny girl kissing him on the cheek and after that I have felt an urge to be skinny ASAP. This guy is literally the hottest guy I have ever seen in my life and I want to get on him badly. I don't have feelings for him nor am I looking for a relationship. I was doing perfectly fine with a slow and 'healthy' loss with a PT and now I have the old mindset of 'if I was skinnier I could get him/ he doesn't want to be with me because I am objectively fat'. The sad but harsh reality is that I am probably not attractive to him due to my size and now I've made it my mission to change that. I really want to fuck this guy but a lot of my baggage is dragging me down. I suppose it's a good thing to deal with that first before going about trying to bang dudes. I wish I could love myself more and not equate my size to beauty but I can't.
Bit of background: I was never officially diagnosed with an eating disorder but I spent most of my childhood and teens starving myself and feeling all the low self esteem stuff that looking back I wish my mother told me I was fine and not fat. I grew up in a slightly abusive household (dad would hit us) and have recently come to realise that my mother would seriously project all her body insecurities on to me as a child i.e regularly telling me i was fat or xyz part of my body was ugly or asking me why i was so big. Looking back I was honestly a healthy and normal sized child and I feel sorry for my younger self.
When I was around 19 I reached my heaviest weight (2 kg less than I am now lol kill me) and my bmi was officially 25. I decided to lose weight and went down a route of eating well under 1000 cal a day and doing intensive cardio every other day. I managed to drop like 10kg in 4 months and by the time I restarted university that year I felt like. Hot. Shit.
I didn't care that I was eating tiny amounts once a day, my clothes were fitting well (I could wear my jeans at my hips and not have to tuck my midriff away!), my face was pretty, my skinny friends were envious, boys were looking at me different, I was able to hold conversations with people knowing that they were seeing me as beautiful and confident. It was honestly the best I had ever felt about myself. I made the mistake of not enjoying my new hot self for longer before getting a boyfriend. We'd spend days getting high, having sex and we would eat entire large pizzas each despite him probably having triple my TDEE. Suddenly there was a guy in my life who ate huge portions of breakfast, lunch and dinner but was also really active. Considering I used running as basically a way of punishing my fat body it was not high in my list of priorities so it stopped. Also the relationship was not as emotionally healthy as it should have been but I will just put that down to being young and stupid. We'd have mostly good times and shared a deep emotional bond etc but it was a messed up relationship with a lot of irrational trust issues on his side and toxicity would build up but I didn't care or know that that wasn't how love was supposed to be.
I went to France for a year and the relationship continued. I enjoyed myself so much that I literally ate my way through France, stopped exercising and counting calories and slowly crept back up to the higher end of a 'healthy' BMI. I was working and having a good time so I didn't mind so much. I suppose that's what being healthy is. Still had problems with the dumb, insecure boyfriend who wanted to track my movements and interactions as much as possible but I 'compromised' and made it 'work'. So I was getting fat but my boyfriend still wanted to fuck my brains out when he visited and I was feeling like life was too short to care about weight at that time. I was gonna go home and lose it all when I went back to uni in September, right?
Wrong. My mother was diagnosed with cancer the week before I was due to go home. She'd already suffered a life threatening brain haemorrhage a month earlier and that had delayed and confused the diagnosis so once we thought she was in the clear we were hit with a diagnosis of end stage stomach cancer. Now, despite her flaws, my mother was my favourite person in the world. At that stage we were closer than ever as we were both older and more understanding of each other. I know that she would never ever call anybody fat etc now and I think that as she saw me become stronger and more independent she started to become so as well.
So to have her deteriorate quickly and face everyday with her getting worse and worse, have chemo ruin her, for me and my family to live in house of sadness and drive long distances to the hospital she was at and generally be suffering on all fronts was literally a pain worse than death. I feel like that is something anybody who has ever felt any affection towards anybody else could sympathise with. However, my boyfriend at the time who had initially been my rock decided that 3 months of being there for me was enough and that I was too much of a 'sad person' to have in his life (which was fun and exciting now that he had new job and life). He'd tell me he was going to call me after work and then suddenly I wouldn't hear from him until the next day which just never happened with us. He was pulling away and I was going out of mind trying to keep us together all the while juggling university and a dying mother. I should have cut that fucker off the minute he made me feel like it was my fault (especially when he forgot my birthday during that time) but when you are in between a rock and a hard place you search for any glimmer of light. Finally he dumped me and my mother died ten days later. The pain of the two events combined was indescribable.
I stopped caring about my weight and just ate everything and anything. Food and weed were my only sources of comfort. I had emotional outlets where I could talk to my best friend and my therapist so I was lucky in that sense but I binged and binged and binged. Things were shit at home and when I moved back I felt like an ugly shit so binged some more. Couldn't get a grad job for the life of me so binged some more. Ended up working for my dad to earn some savings but was still miserable about my failures. Also, throw in a 3 month stint in USA where food is served in portions that could feed three people at a time and my love for junk food I was ballooning. This was from 2015-end of 2016. I was receiving regular grief counselling and some stuff about my body image etc and how it was impacted by my mother etc was touched upon but I have run out of sessions so I can't explore what is going with me rn in much depth.
2017 has been a good year for me as far as my state of mind is concerned. I took up cuban salsa and bachata in January and got a PT (which is fucking expensive but I'm lazy af and it's nice to have somebody push me) both these things have made me feel a bit more like I'm worth something. I am still working for my dad which I hate but I get paid and don't pay rent so any shit he throws my way is bearable. I have been dying to get a job that can pay me enough so I can move away from him and I have a final interview for one coming up soon. If I get it then I will have a busy working week, a place of my own and my own life. Dance has been a great form of self expression and I've made some great friends (including meeting this hot guy) and going to the gym with a trainer has made me enjoy it a little and not use it as punishment. I like how my muscles feel and can't wait to meet them once this excess fat is gone. However, I am still a whale. I want to shed these pounds and restricting is helping me get there.
I was really forward and flirtatious with this guy at first and we'd always joke about going out to party etc. He actually invited me out but I ruined it by getting drunk and sexually frustrated that nothing happened between us. Of course he owed me nothing and I was completely stupid to go there with my hopes up. I sent some weird intoxicated af messages (more random than creepy) and left a bunch of missed calls immediately after I left and they were rightfully ignored lol. Anyway it seems as though that behaviour didn't put him off and we smoked up once after that and two months later we're back to chatting shit in our dance classes. He jokes about taking me out for lunch (words are cheap I'm trying not to fall for it). He's not texting me and I am being good and not making the first move etc. I'm honest with myself and know that if he were interested he would show it. But my brain has decided that because I am physically not that attractive he does not like me... And it's weird because let's say that is the case, how do I move on from that? I can't... I have an urge to be thin asap and if it were confirmed that he doesn't like me like that because I am fat then that would only make me want to be skinny even more. In general I've been striving to be thinner and now I have this messed up goal to get thin fast so that a guy will like me. Wtf is wrong with me. I consider myself to be 100% a feminist and believe that self love is important but in this case my mind is drawing a blank. I hope that I get this job and become an independent woman and my priorities shift back in place but rn my no.1 priority is my weight and apparently some dude. Which sucks.
[Rant/Rave] Womp womp
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 161.8 | GW:118 | -4 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 20 06:29:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71aqam/womp_womp/
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Hello lovely humans! Just a tiny rant. So *normally* I wake up in the morning, take my vyvanse (legit prescribed for ADD, can't function without but the appetite killing is also nice), go back to bed and wait for it to kick in so I can fast til 5pm. Around 11am I go to the gym to exercise off 300kcal.
Except today. I wandered downstairs and a bowl of better oats and 2 lite string cheeses later I'm up 200kcal :( so now I have to do double gym time because I love my 300kcal buffer at dinner time. It lets me have a hard cider (140kcal!!!)
ALSO is anyone on here Jewish? Cause Rosh Hashanah is this week and that means pot roast with potatoes, apples and honey, honey cake, noodle kugel, the list goes on and on and I'm over here freaking out about how I'm gonna handle this while keeping to my 800 net a day....
[Discussion] Has anyone gone scale-less?
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Wed Sep 20 06:13:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71an2t/has_anyone_gone_scaleless/
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I've been taking progress pictures and while I can physically see the changes in my body on the pictures the scales remain the same.
The goal is to weigh myself once a week (I actually do it after every BM if I'm home...), but would it be better for my mental health to weigh myself monthly and use another form of measurement - like measurements or photos or something?
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! September 20, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Sep 20 06:11:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71amrv/daily_food_diary_september_20_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 20, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday September 20, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Sep 20 06:10:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71aml0/way_to_go_wednesday_september_20_2017/
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This is the weekly achievement thread for September 20, 2017.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Discussion] September 20th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 20 05:50:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71aiwj/september_20th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What is your favorite TV show?
[Discussion] What's the longest you've fasted for?
/u/Stay__Hungry [5'6.5" | CW 128.4 lbs | GW 105 lbs | -25.6 lbs]
Created: Wed Sep 20 05:40:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71ah09/whats_the_longest_youve_fasted_for/
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A recent binge depleted my grocery money for the month and I don't get paid for another 3-ish weeks. I might be looking at a 20 day fast. I've done 5 days before and been ok and I'm currently on day 3, but has anyone gone longer?
[Rant/Rave] Can't decide if I want to be the girl who eats a ton and stays skinny or the girl that never eats anything
/u/CANT_CATCH_ME [5'7.5 | CW 133.5 | -7 | GW 115 | 18 F]
Created: Wed Sep 20 05:12:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71acff/cant_decide_if_i_want_to_be_the_girl_who_eats_a/
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Anyone else feel like this? Like I'll have times where I'll want to eat a ton in front of other people and times where I'm ashamed to eat a lot in front of other people.
I'm so inconsistent and flip floppy with this disorder lol everyday I feel something different 🙄🙄
[Discussion] DAE feel like they have a lying scale 😂
/u/skeletonne18
Created: Wed Sep 20 05:01:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71aalh/dae_feel_like_they_have_a_lying_scale/
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I weighed myself at home and was 76.6kg and then was weighed at the doctors and was 78kg :(((( now I question my scale and want to buy like 10 new scales 🙄 might buy a second one that's a bit better idk if more expensive ones are more accurate so 😐
[Thinspo] Thinspo (there isn’t enough thinspo on here for us guys)
/u/MajorasMasc4Masc
Created: Wed Sep 20 04:17:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71a3vh/thinspo_there_isnt_enough_thinspo_on_here_for_us/
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https://i.redd.it/vnnl2246k0nz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Doing a little better lately. Nervous but optimistic.
/u/athrowaway76250 [5'4" | CW: 106 | BMI: 18.2 | GW: 108–112 | LW: 102 | 24F]
Created: Wed Sep 20 04:17:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71a3uu/doing_a_little_better_lately_nervous_but/
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Disclaimer that I have no idea if this kind of post is allowed, sorry in advance if it's not. And sorry this post is so long.
I haven't been part of this sub for a long time, and I haven't been very active, but I just thought I'd share a milestone—I've started trying to gain back weight and I'm actually starting to feel a little better! 😄
About a month ago, I saw my doctor and had some blood work done because I'd been feeling sick *all the time* and wanted to know how badly I'd fucked my body up. Surprisingly, everything came back fine, and although my doctor definitely noticed my low weight, she didn't bring up EDs, and I didn't either. She said I should try to gain some weight, though.
Shortly after that appointment, one of my roommates (also a very close friend) got back from being away all summer. She remarked to me privately that she was worried about my weight, saying I looked "even thinner than before" (she'd already noticed my prior weight loss before she left for the summer). I confessed that I had gained some back over the summer, but lost it again. I told her—and I sort of meant it, or at least wanted to mean it—that I was trying to gain it back. Over the next several days I came really close to talking to her about EDs, but the closest I got was discussing my depression (which she knows about), how I struggle to take care of myself when depressed, and general body confidence issues. I never confessed to her that I'd ever been trying to lose the weight on purpose (she's a smart cookie so she probably *does* suspect it), but she was really supportive about what I did manage to tell her, and I think it helped a lot.
Then I surprised myself by actually starting to try. I think it was more about getting sick of feeling so miserable all the time than any true desire to "get better," but the constipation, fatigue, and shakiness had all been keeping me from maintaining a regular work schedule, and the resulting instability in my finances was just making me feel worse. Things were probably on the verge of going very downhill, if I'm being honest, and I'm pretty lucky that circumstances (the coincident doctor's appointment & return of one of my closest friends) happened to nudge me up the hill instead of allowing me to just throw myself down it headfirst.
I set myself a daily *minimum* goal of 1200 calories (as opposed to my previous goals of *maximum* 700-800). It was really hard at first—eating more felt nice in the moment, as did *not being hungry all the time*, but after I finished meals, I'd feel like shit about myself. I cried multiple times a day for the first two weeks, sometimes even while in the middle of chewing food! My weight went up more than I expected at first (probably just bloating, as it's gone down since, idk), which made me afraid I would just keep gaining and gaining and never stop. (That fear was what prompted a lot of my hysterical cry sessions). It was honestly hard to remember what a "normal" eating schedule looked like.
But somehow, at right around 4 weeks into trying to eat more... I've suddenly started to feel a lot better about it. My weight has stabilized at a pretty consistent 106 despite some fluctuations, and since my new goal is to hit 108 (that would put me at **officially not underweight** for the first time since at least *April*), I decided to increase my daily calorie allowance to *minimum* 1400, since clearly 1200 isn't enough to get me there.
So my new goals—I guess, for now—are to become officially not underweight (and stay there!), and to work myself up to not tracking my calories anymore. Right now I'm still logging everything, to ensure I'm eating *enough* food, but once I get the hang of it again, and once I've managed to maintain a healthy weight for a month or so, I'd like to stop counting and just focus on respecting my appetite and how I feel.
Anyway, I don't know exactly why I felt a need to share this except to say... maybe there is hope. Idk, we'll see. Wish me luck?
[Rant/Rave] Asked a friend to not talk to me about weight loss... she messages me saying she's lost 6kg
/u/loserlosing5
Created: Wed Sep 20 03:24:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/719wid/asked_a_friend_to_not_talk_to_me_about_weight/
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Am I being too sensitive here? I specifically asked her to not speak about weight loss because I find it triggering and I'm too competitive. She acknowledges this and agrees I'm competitive about it. 5 days later she's messaging me saying she's lost 5kg.
I had 500 cals saved up for dinner and now I don't even want to eat? I actually feel sick at thought of her losing weight despite the fact I'm 30kg lighter than her. Ugh.
[Rant/Rave] Jesus my thought processes... why am I this screwed up by default... it's not even that dark or bad, just really silly? also just a miscellaneous thought dump.
/u/Rhyanon [Who needs reasons when you have an ED?]
Created: Wed Sep 20 03:20:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/719vyt/jesus_my_thought_processes_why_am_i_this_screwed/
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tl;dr: amped out ramble, new dose of meds lmao. me being silly about weight loss my progress and vyvanse is bae for making me make smart decisions
>Me: Wow holy shit okay I just clocked in at 74kg today... i've lost like 12kg now... what even
>Me to me: you know you're always destined to be fat... you're probs just losing weight because your [transfem] hrt is shit now bc you had to switch from injections to pills and your testosterone is really high, spiking your metabolism... have fun worrying about that! ;)
It can't just be the reasonable restriction and low carb diet and reasonably healthy fasting (maybe not mindset wise, but im taking care of myself and I eat at least up to TDEE after a full day of fasting) nope, it must be something else biochemically that is going to screw my body another way.
im just annoyed that I can't really let myself enjoy this? Like im doing so well, im alert and functional and losing weight, ive stuck to keto which is really important to me as T2 diabetes runs in the biomales in my family and i really dont wanna get that, ive got my fasting mojo back because when i do it its because i want to and mostly not out of guilt, and ive lost so much weight in a short space of time... but every time i let myself be proud of the number i just kinda look down and its like, welp, still fat (+additional curses about gender issues).
The real MVP here though is vyvanse, and im not talking about for appetite restriction. The one time i tried to "fast with vyvanse" it went bad, i just felt real sick and ended up binging (probably bc before the fast i was binging on nutritionally void garbage, plus the anxiety)... instead if i use it correctly it gives me the executive function to at least force myself into making healthy choices rather than succumbing to my anxiety and either binging on shit or fasting unrealistically. like i still want to be ethereal and a ghost and androgynous and to disappear, but at least right now im giving my body what it needs and getting there healthily?
I guess this stuff really does work for the entire ADHD thing... this also further fuels my hypothesis that my ED is fuelled by my unrealistically perfectionist and anxious ADHD brain... any one else ADHD in here?
[Discussion] Uh, yay or nay
/u/-M00nFlower
Created: Wed Sep 20 03:19:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/719vxa/uh_yay_or_nay/
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https://i.redd.it/rrm6yf5w90nz.png
[Thinspo] alena klimovich is my new thinspo
/u/bayzette [5' 2"| 125 lbs | 22.9 | -5 | Female]
Created: Wed Sep 20 02:47:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/719rsi/alena_klimovich_is_my_new_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/8375r2h440nz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] It's so much easier to stay on track when you're already skinny
/u/coconutfi [5'9" | CW: 128 | GW: 116 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 20 01:44:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/719jqj/its_so_much_easier_to_stay_on_track_when_youre/
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When I'm at my ideal weight, it's so much easier to stay on top of it and eat right. All I have to do is maintain. I could even eat 1000 calories and possibly still wake up smaller.
When I'm bigger everything feels hopeless. I've been binging horribly the past week. It's like I can choose to turn it around today, but I'd wake up and still look the same. And then have to go through another entire day of resisting food to probably wake up the next morning still looking the same. Of course after several days I'd start to see a difference, but it's just so challenging getting to that point.
I'm just venting. I've fasted all day and only have 4 hours before bed but I'm still tempted to go get a huge meal at McDonald's. Whyyyyyyy
[Discussion] Low calorie cocktails
/u/flightlesspotato [166cm | CW 57kg | UGW 48kg | 20F]
Created: Wed Sep 20 01:35:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/719ij7/low_calorie_cocktails/
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I'm a pretty frequent drinker but I've been guilty of not counting my calories when it comes to alcohol and it's starting to show :( Unfortunately I'm pretty hooked on beer and ciders which seem to be on the higher end of the calorie count, and I'm looking for alternatives for night outs.
What are your low calorie go-tos?
[Goal] Small Victory
/u/sadbean17 [ 5'4" | 122lb | 21.9 | 17F]
Created: Wed Sep 20 01:28:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/719hog/small_victory/
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Please flair as Goal ❤️
Although this may seem so so small, after so long of binging I was finally able to stop, and today I've somehow managed to stay under 200!
I'm so happy to be out of the cycle of binging, it was so horrible. Just hope this lasts.
[Discussion] I wish my TDEE could be higher (an impossible wish)
/u/CandidTriceratops [5'5'' | 195.6 | 32.45 | -29.4lbs | M]
Created: Wed Sep 20 01:21:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/719gng/i_wish_my_tdee_could_be_higher_an_impossible_wish/
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I was just watching a mini documentary on a 15 year old kid who weighed 707lbs at 6'5'' which would put his TDEE at 5231 calories per day to maintain. He was able to lose 200lbs in a bit over 1 year.
Here I am wishing I could lose weight that fast while still being at my current tdee. 😂
For anybody who is curious: [Crushing Weight](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mNvm0OWQOgA)
[Help] Strength training and bloating
/u/roithamerschen [5'6.5 | 138.8 | 22.1 | GW: 105 | 21F]
Created: Wed Sep 20 00:49:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/719c6p/strength_training_and_bloating/
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Unfortunately yesterday I binged. I've fasted all day today (just coffee w/ nut milk) and had my first beginners strength training class (1 hour long and we did sets of push-ups, lunges, and beginner squats) but I'm still incredibly bloated. Normally after a binge it takes my body ~14 hours to de-bloat (and my binge wasn't too terrible [lmfao], 3/5 family sized bag of smartfood and falafel sandwich) but I honestly look more bloated now than I did in the morning.
Long story short, could this be related to the workout? I'm pretty sure I read exercising leads to microtears which can lead to water retention (?) I wasn't working out very hard because I'm super weak 😭 but I'm incredibly sore now so I figure I did something (??)
Apologies for the long rambly post but I'm freaking out because I look f a t despite eating nothing today and if I'm just as bloated tomorrow I'm gonna die 🙃
[Rant/Rave] Body image, fasting, and family
/u/SoftNope
Created: Wed Sep 20 00:11:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7196kj/body_image_fasting_and_family/
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I've been lurking here for awhile, and I swear I'm trying to stay within the rules of the sub, I just have no idea where else to go. This is going to be a little ranty.
I love my family, and I totally get that they're concerned. I respect it, I appreciate it.
But I hate that they force me to eat. How do I explain that the feeling of being full makes me disgusted with myself? How do I explain that the feeling of being hungry makes me disgusted with myself?
When I go a few days eating about 500-600 calories, I feel so good. I am so proud of myself! But someone is always around, someone always talks, and next thing I know I'm being sat down and told I have to eat *this* or *that*.
"Did you eat today?"
*Yes.*
"Ok. You're going to eat again. Here's a sugar loaded overly processed Costco muffin."
I don't want the fucking muffin!
I'm not asking for help, not in the "how do I hide it" way. I just want to be me, do me, do my own thing. I hate the body I'm in, I want to change it, but someone is always there to be a roadblock. How do I handle the stress, the anxiety, and the guilt brought on by eating calory ladden muffins and pasta? They didn't do this with my sister, when she ate one salad a day for *years* it was all "Look how much weight you lost! You look so good!"
There is a sick double standard in my family, where it's ok for one but not for all.
Is there a way to explain (delicately) that eating fried potatoes makes my whole body feel *off*? Am I just going to have to get better at hiding it? I was happy with myself and where I was, I had it figured out and no one cared then. After I got pregnant, I ballooned, she's two now, and I've been trying to be who I was then. I'm using the same 23/1 fasting as before, but this time my whole family actually seems to notice. It feels like they're telling me I have to hate my body now that I'm a mom, that my love of self doesn't even matter, and it kills me. It's to the point that I avoid visiting my family as much as possible (which isn't fair to my toddler, she loves her aunt's and grandparents).
I'm at a loss, completely at a loss, and I'm so tired of crying when I get dressed, when I look in the mirror.
[Rant/Rave] I binged 3x today. Rant. Kind of. A reminder to myself.
/u/FeatherWorld [4'8"🐌GW 75 for now :/🍄CW 84🌙SW 106🌿20s F]
Created: Tue Sep 19 23:47:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7192yn/i_binged_3x_today_rant_kind_of_a_reminder_to/
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Ate way too much today. Ashamed, disgusted. Pure failure with not a single excuse. I am impulsive and deluded. I've been severely sick/horrifically full 3x today where I was in pain. Self abuse is what it is. I can't seem to stop binging and going off my plan constantly and I only have myself to blame. Remember this feeling. It's heartbreaking and there is SO much guilt and disappointment. That splurge snack/meal or day off to eat whatever is NOT worth it. Not ever. These years of being overweight and the same cycle of failure will continue if there is no change and no consistent plan. It is never worth it to stop fasting just to eat pure junk or drink some sugary drink. Fruits and veggies as well as healthy foods are fine, but fake food can't be allowed. If there is a time for it sparingly, it will be in the future, but certainly not now or even soon. I have no self control, no sense of intuitiveness. Mistake after mistake for months and no real bodily change. And for what? Small moments, minutes of pleasurable food in my mouth. Then it's in my stomach and will only add to my weight. When did shit food take control over my sense of self and logical thinking? It has never been worth it, not even once. There is always guilt afterwards and self hatred. Why? Fasting has been the most help in years. But it won't work if I go off the plan constantly. Which IS happening. To myself: You want to be that hot, skinny, sexy woman who looks great without even trying, in and out of clothes, but it is only a fantasy if you don't stick to the plan. Remember this. Reread it again. Do you truly want this? Do you? Are you willing to take initiative and become that woman? Say NO then. Do the hard work, especially mentally. Have a sense of self worth and respect. Stick with the plan and stop being a doormat to junk. You have the power, but change can only happen once you take those steps, as slow and plodding as they may seem. You can be blind to bodily change, but it's happening, even if it isn't so obvious at times. And some days you will look just as fat as you were before all of this. Don't listen. Your mind plays tricks. Remember. Reread.
[Discussion] DAE fantasize about being in jail and not eating?
/u/luxklepto
Created: Tue Sep 19 23:45:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7192nk/dae_fantasize_about_being_in_jail_and_not_eating/
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I feel like if I were to get caught for retail theft (which I know I eventually will), I would be so depressed and suicidal, that I'd be very determined to restrict out of anxiety and out of being suicidal. I feel so weird for fantasizing about it because in reality, I'm deathly afraid of going to jail or having legal problems.
I have mental illness issues though. I was in a psych ward once and didn't eat for days, and I was so euphoric. Nobody really noticed, but I fainted after 3 days, but they didn't really care too much.
[Other] Anyone trip and have it effect your ED?
/u/ElectricWerm [ 5'7 | 125lb | 19.58 | -45lb | 115lb | 23F]
Created: Tue Sep 19 23:15:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/718xxt/anyone_trip_and_have_it_effect_your_ed/
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Sorry if this breaking a rule by asking or posting about this but
I know there's gotta be some other weird trippy fairy creatures like me, or at least one.
Just trippin and thinking about you guys.
I have the optimal living situation for restricting
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 19 22:57:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/718uzy/i_have_the_optimal_living_situation_for/
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[deleted]
Pro ana discord
/u/Catfootedfog
Created: Tue Sep 19 21:54:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/718ju2/pro_ana_discord/
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[removed]
[Intro] Intro/can't even purge right
/u/sourgumm1es [5'4" | CW 148 | GW 125 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 19 21:30:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/718fpg/introcant_even_purge_right/
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Hey everyone, this is my first post here in this community with my new throwaway account. I'm from Texas, and I'm 19 years old. I have had an EDNOS for about 2 years and it's gotten really bad recently and since I started to look for support I found this community and have fallen in love with how supportive everyone is! I'm super excited to be a part of this community, if you guys have any questions about me fire away!
Now onto the rant side of this post, I just binged on three bowls of cereal, half a bag of tortilla chips, and fruit snacks.. all this after a full 1200 cal day. WTF is wrong with me. I literally just spent 20 minuets trying to purge everything, idk why but I've never been able to make myself throw up and tonight is no different. Now my eyes are all red and my throat hurts like hell and I'm still 5 pounds heavier so that's fucking great. Game plan now is to fast for 72 hours, longest I've ever gone is 48 hours so I guess we'll see if I can make it happen. /rant
Eating less never felt so good
/u/fitisthegoal
Created: Tue Sep 19 21:17:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/718d9m/eating_less_never_felt_so_good/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] "that's it? that's all you want to eat?"
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 19 21:08:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/718bi6/thats_it_thats_all_you_want_to_eat/
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[removed]
[Help] Restricting "mental block"? How to get over it?
/u/appletr335
Created: Tue Sep 19 20:54:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7188rf/restricting_mental_block_how_to_get_over_it/
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[removed]
[Help] Suggestions for Foods that Don't Require Chewing
/u/ninefourtysix [5'0" | CW: 93.4 | 20F ]
Created: Tue Sep 19 20:48:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7187gm/suggestions_for_foods_that_dont_require_chewing/
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Hi Reddit, this is technically my first post but I've been here for a little while reading other people's posts. I'm not even sure that I have an ED, I know I have disordered eating habits but you guys seem very supportive either way.
Anyway, I hope it's okay that I'm asking this. I just got a palatal expander put in yesterday and it's painful to chew at all so I need suggestions on foods that are either really soft or don't require chewing. Apple sauce, bananas and oatmeal are all I have right now so I would appreciate any and all suggestions!
[Help] specific advic for losing weight at my BMI
/u/vulspine
Created: Tue Sep 19 20:40:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7185yg/specific_advic_for_losing_weight_at_my_bmi/
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[removed]
[Help] The thought of eating tonight makes me scared
/u/Trynabeskinny
Created: Tue Sep 19 20:39:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7185vo/the_thought_of_eating_tonight_makes_me_scared/
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I dont want to eat tonight.
Im fasting today but my partner is cooking. Sausages and mash potato...noway.
How do i get around this? Say i feel sick but he PUSHES for me to eat because he used to have an ED. He doesnt know I do. As far as i know anyway.
:(
[Help] giving myself food poisoning?
/u/vulspine
Created: Tue Sep 19 20:37:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7185c8/giving_myself_food_poisoning/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Ugh, Feel Huge at My Previous "Thinnest" Weight
/u/Shh_its_not_me_yo [5'7 | CW: 128 | SW: 170 | GW: Less | Gender: F]
Created: Tue Sep 19 20:12:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/718061/ugh_feel_huge_at_my_previous_thinnest_weight/
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So, why is it when I'm bloated or binge and go up a few pounds, I feel absolutely grotesque and huge -- even if I was JUST at that weight as a new low weight and felt awesome.
For example, I was previously feeling decent about the weight in my flair, and then I dropped down to 122 pounds. And then went on vacation and am back up to 128 -- and I feel soooo gross. I don't even want to leave the house. It's like a new low weight only feels good until the next new low weight, and then the previous weight is just disgusting.
End rant -- I just wish I could have a rational view of my body for a while!
I'm scared to eat
/u/justcantwaittobethin
Created: Tue Sep 19 20:01:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/717y1p/im_scared_to_eat/
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[removed]
[Tip] PSA: Vegans still have SF jello hope!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 19 19:47:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/717uze/psa_vegans_still_have_sf_jello_hope/
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Guys. I bought a box of this [Simply Delish Jel stuff](https://simplydelish.net/collections/jel-desserts) (I swear, no affiliation) expecting it to be nasty af, because it's vegan, and I tried making jello with agar and a sugar free drink stick and it was so weird and gross.
This. Stuff. Was. So. Good. It had erythritol so I might regret it later, but the whole box is 20 calories and seriously so good, at least the strawberry flavor.
The only drawback (besides the erythritol 💩) is that it's pretty expensive for jello, like $3 a pack. Idk, worth it? 🤷🏼♀️
Edit: I looked on amazon, and it looks like they make pudding too, also for only 5 cal/serving? !!!!! With awesome reviews?????? 😱😱😱😱😱 RIP bank account
[Thinspo] Thinspo
/u/physics_chick
Created: Tue Sep 19 19:39:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/717tfg/thinspo/
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https://i.imgur.com/tco50cG.jpg
[Help] Cross Country and Anorexia
/u/HastyDemonstrator
Created: Tue Sep 19 19:26:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/717qpu/cross_country_and_anorexia/
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[removed]
[Intro] It's really not so interesting
/u/ausername4thissub
Created: Tue Sep 19 19:22:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/717ppa/its_really_not_so_interesting/
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First, I just want to say that I've been skirting around (re:lurking) various ED sites for years and the openness and variety of situations that you all discuss has really prompted me to come out of the shadows and post my first thing on reddit ever. So, thank you all for creating such an open space for everyone. It's really inspiring and your words and posts have made me see my own situation in new light.
I guess to the relevant stuff. I first started struggling with body dysmorphia/eating issues around 13. That culminated in what was probably a full blown issue with anorexia and self -medicating situation (re:alcohol and the occasional pill) until I was about 15 and ended up in the hospital for alcohol poisoning because I drank like...a shit ton on the emptiest of stomachs.
I tried really hard to assuage the situation and it led to a "recovery". I put it in scare quotes because it was mostly prompted by religion, desire to comfort my parents (who allowed me to deny any body issues in favor of an explanation that involved something about not knowing about the strength of alcohol and being young 🙄), and my own self-denial.
I did quite well with the whole thing until I relapsed hard at the end of college when I was applying for grad school. That ended with me in counseling and doctors visits-at the behest of a well-meaning ex boyfriend. This only lasted about a year or so until I got it under control again. I never told my family and they were peacefully oblivious.
Well, here I'm back in the game at 28 years old. Another stint in grad school (yay PhD?) has resulted in the highest weight of my life. I spent a lot of time thinking about my restriction days, my purging days, the times in between. I've cycled through a lot over the years. But one day I looked in the mirror and kinda snapped. I decided I'd rather be back on the side of obsessing than not obsessing and seeing my weight creep up.
So. I'm here. I'd like to say thank you again to all of you for being some of the most open-minded people I've ever come across. I'm currently restricting intake (working my way down, of course) and purging either via exercise or through throwing up (or both). I'm trying not to be extreme about it this time around. If I can even say that when I'm throwing shit up but...hopefully y'all know what I mean.
Best of luck to all of you in your journeys! I hope to make friends with y'all soon!
[Discussion] DAE eat more when they calorie count and less when they don't?
/u/krecneps
Created: Tue Sep 19 19:18:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/717ova/dae_eat_more_when_they_calorie_count_and_less/
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I've been counting my calories recently and I've noticed I've been eating more. It's like "oh, I can eat this much and still be under budget" (770 a day, wish I could be closer to 300 though) but I end up going over anyways. I keep on trying to restrict as much as possible, but it's been hard recently. Any advice on how to stop all my cravings etc?
[Rant/Rave] 2lb gain meltdown
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 19bmi | -140 | 30F | AU]
Created: Tue Sep 19 18:42:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/717ho6/2lb_gain_meltdown/
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I'm nearly crying every morning.
I hit my LW the other day. I felt really fucking bloated and gained 2 lbs, so I laxed because I hadn't BM'd in over a week. I thought that would do it because, well it did the thing. No change. No change. No change. 5 days layers I'm still stepping on the scale seeing the exact same weight. (The batteries are less than 2 months or so new) My intake hasn't changed. I've started exercising more which is horrible for my chronicle shit bad back and my yoga mat sucks otherwise I'd go back to doing that.
My husbands around in the morning, so I whimper in the morning and sometimes whack my head on the hard wall (weird I know). Sometimes I cut (I have been for like 18 years but its slowed down)
I'm scared every day. I had something and it slipped out of my fingers the next day.
I'm scared and mad and angry and it fucks up my entire day and night and I am terrified every morning when its weigh in time...
[Rant/Rave] When you take sleeping pills to put yourself to sleep instead of binging and then you wake up only 2 hours later and binge on almost an entire jar of peanut butter barely even awake
/u/gracefullystupid
Created: Tue Sep 19 18:40:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/717h7k/when_you_take_sleeping_pills_to_put_yourself_to/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Peeps with active jobs...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 19 18:28:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/717evk/peeps_with_active_jobs/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Fasting? And thank you to everyone in this sub for being so beautiful and kind ❤️
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Tue Sep 19 18:27:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/717emr/fasting_and_thank_you_to_everyone_in_this_sub_for/
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You guys are so great! I know I get negative on here sometimes so thank you for letting me vent. Trying to start positive restriction! Thank you for being awesome in my really dark times!
Has anyone been successful with a fasting program? I've been visiting r/fasting the past few weeks and it seems so natural as a weight loss program, even healthy some feel. Also lots of positive support and advice regarding it!
I am going to begin a 23/1 fasting plan tomorrow. Leaving the one hour time period for a small meal with the boyfriend so he doesn't get angry or find out with this new experiment😂
Any successful fasting regimes that went well for you guys?
[Other] I just cleared my sinuses by...
/u/Endogirl823
Created: Tue Sep 19 18:26:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/717efx/i_just_cleared_my_sinuses_by/
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[removed]
[Help] I'm scared
/u/Glazed9000 [5'7' | 125 |]
Created: Tue Sep 19 18:06:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7179zq/im_scared/
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I'm losing control. I have been binge eating 2000-4000 calories for about two weeks now. I was doing so well last month. I hit my lowest adult weight of 111 and I fucking lost it. I'm now 125 or more. I'm too scared to even weigh myself. I'm scared this binge eating nightmare is going to kill me.
On the other hand, my suicidal thoughts are getting louder and louder. I've been skipping so much class because I'm scared. My stomach is so bloated and distended. I was in so much pain last night and I still can't stop eating.
Can someone please help me or tell me how to stop this binge cycle.
[Discussion] I'M FINALLY LOSING WEIGHT!!!
/u/IsAFailure [5'6 | CW: 123lbs | GW: 110 | 20.74 | -7 | M]
Created: Tue Sep 19 17:06:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/716xai/im_finally_losing_weight/
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Last time I checked my weight (I can't often because I don't have a scale), I had gained two pounds and hit 130, highest I've ever been. Now I've finally dropped below 128, where I sat for awhile!
I had to weigh myself 5 times because I didn't believe it, I hit 124! Now I just gotta keep at it...
Edit: Wooooah. I've lost another pound since I made this post :O
[Discussion] DAE have bars as a super safe food?
/u/ci-fre [5'1" | 83-84 lb | ~16.5 new BMI | F]
Created: Tue Sep 19 16:12:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/716l5l/dae_have_bars_as_a_super_safe_food/
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I don't know if this post is appropriate here ... I basically live off of Greek yogurt and Quest bars now. Probably going to buy some Larabars soon too. There's just something about protein bars and nutrition bars that make them seem really ... innocuous and easy and safe to me? :/ Can anyone else relate?
[Rant/Rave] I've purged twice this week...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 19 16:01:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/716iip/ive_purged_twice_this_week/
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[deleted]
[Help] Calorie estimation?
/u/thescarletlettergirl [5'3 | CW 115 | 20.4 | 18 F |]
Created: Tue Sep 19 15:52:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/716gey/calorie_estimation/
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[removed]
[Help] How to prevent alopecia?
/u/Saphyxus [5'7" | 116 | F/NB]
Created: Tue Sep 19 14:51:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7161b3/how_to_prevent_alopecia/
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Hiya, umm, so I've recently started restricting again, and I want to go really low this time, but I'm scared of alopecia.
What should I do to try to prevent alopecia from occuring? Multivitamins, biotin supplements, a high protein diet, finasteride even?
[Help] Can anyone guess my weight over PM?
/u/jjfmish [5'6 | GW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Tue Sep 19 14:45:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/715zs0/can_anyone_guess_my_weight_over_pm/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] Thinspo.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Tue Sep 19 14:42:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/715z2y/thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/ft4yjwruiwmz.jpg
[Help] constant low-level goosebumps?
/u/randyguptill [5'7.5" | CW 131.8 | GW 123 | 19.82 | complicated |]
Created: Tue Sep 19 13:10:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/715bg1/constant_lowlevel_goosebumps/
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My skin looks super old, rough, and bumpy. I need easy solutions because I am lazy. Thanks.
[Rant/Rave] Little vent
/u/skinnifat [5'4" | CW: 125 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 19 12:38:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/715348/little_vent/
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Not necessarily ED related. Just needed a safe place.
I think I'm going crazy. I should probably talk to someone. But I feel too crazy to even talk to someone. I wouldn't even know how to form the proper words. I don't think I could physically do it and even if I could get some words out I don't think they would be the right words and I don't think anyone would understand or even know how to respond.
I don't think I'll be like this forever. Just until things change. I don't feel like myself. I feel like when I'm with people I'm just pretending to be myself. I feel like I'm being dramatic and this is all over the place. I guess I'm just tired of talking to myself. Idk.
I'm okay. And I will be okay. Just needed to get some things out of my brain. So thank you.
[Help] EC stack question because I'm over it!!!!
/u/mapvi [5'4 | CW: 136.8ish | LW: 124.4 | GW1: 132 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 19 12:26:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/714zsg/ec_stack_question_because_im_over_it/
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Wow okay I'm so over this binge/purge phase. This is the first time I've purged daily, and I hate feeling like that's my only option. Like I've binged so much that it's about to catapult me into a restriction phase. I'm about to start an EC stack so it can just be done with.
**BUT I'm almost out of Sudafed, so question.** I live in the US and in order to get Sudafed/Primatene you have to get it from the pharmacists and they scan your driver's license. I'm assuming they need your license to make sure you haven't bought too much too quickly, so how soon is too soon to get more? Or does anyone know of a different way to get bronkaid or anything like that? I'm not close to Canada so I can't just drive to a pharmacy over there or anything. Also, dumb question: does anyone happen to know where caffeine pills are located in Wal-Mart or Target? I keep looking but haven't found them and would rather do that than buy coffee or something else caffeinated.
Thanks in advance, the past few weeks have been super shitty in terms of ED. :(
[Help] I see a lot of people plying around with peach !
/u/Nude-prude [169cm| 🍑:nudeprude 124.8lbls |19.82|]
Created: Tue Sep 19 12:14:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/714wm2/i_see_a_lot_of_people_plying_around_with_peach/
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[removed]
[Other] Peach buddies !?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 19 12:04:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/714u6d/peach_buddies/
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[removed]
Paranoia, insecurity, self-hatred
/u/mimidudette [5'8" | CW: 140 | -27 | HW: 172 | GW: 125 | 20F]
Created: Tue Sep 19 11:35:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/714mgl/paranoia_insecurity_selfhatred/
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Back again with more bitching... sorry for the annoyingness, I just don't know where else I'd say all this 😔
Two things that in combination are making me want to cry and die and rip my hair out:
one -- I've never dated anyone cute before and I don't know how to deal with the fact that other women like and are interested in my SO. And although they (lots of mutual friends, or I guess to me they're more like acquaintances?) know we're dating and respect that, I also know them well enough to know that they still harbour feelings for him. They'd never make moves on him, they're nice people, but still I knew before we were dating that they liked him and I know them well enough to see that hasn't changed. I don't know why I'm so jealous and I don't know what to expect... that he stop talking to his friends?? OUR friends??? Except every time I see his phone buzz and it's another snapchat, or he'a posting instagram pics with them, or ... idk. idkidkidk, idk anything other than that I'm human trash and literally any woman interacting with him makes me want to die lol
two -- I'm cripplingly insecure (surprise) and I hate that I gained weight and I hate that I'm not 125. IDK, I guess I have this weird idea that if I get my body perfect, if I look perfect, that he won't leave and I won't have any competition? I know he likes the way I look because he tells me that all the time but I don't know why I can't believe him. My face is only pretty when I wear makeup and my body (minus my waist, bc I got lucky and have a natural hourglass) is barely mediocre. I just... I don't know. Why am I so delusional that that I believe I'll suddenly be loveable and secure and whatever the fuck else when I lose weight? It's not true anyway -- his ideal type is curvy and sexy and I'll never have the right body. But the real fear, the one that I can barely acknowledge because I can't escape that it's _perfectly rational_, is that he's going to leave me because I'm insecure and paranoid and literally 0 fun to be around because I can't fucking get over myself.
I'm shit, I've always been shit, and if I weren't desperate and pathetically needy and selfish I'd just cut my losses and break up before I drive both him and myself crazy. I don't know. I just want to cry and eat, I want to sob my heart out and drink wine and eat fluffy dense crusty loaves of bread with cheese and pretend everything is OK, except I can't because I'm fat and I can't eat until I'm skinny again and I don't deserve to eat anyway. Is it bad that I can't imagine happiness for myself? I just want to date this boy and be happy for once in my fucking life but I can't stop thinking about how worthless I am and that I'm never gonna make it, I'm always going to be a sad fat lonely piece of shit
[Discussion] What a weeks worth of "safe food" groceries looks like for me. What are your safe food must-haves?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 19 10:54:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/714bnk/what_a_weeks_worth_of_safe_food_groceries_looks/
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https://i.redd.it/wdph5gx3evmz.jpg
[Discussion] Ladies. I need to talk about periods.
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~60lbs | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Tue Sep 19 10:54:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/714biq/ladies_i_need_to_talk_about_periods/
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Have you lost yours? What BMI/weight were you?
My BMI is in the low 19s... a few days ago I got cramping, spotted, PMS... but now its gone?
I'm currently on day 34. Which is extremely irregular for me because Im on a testosterone suppressing medicine for acne so my periods are usually on a solid 20-22 day cycle. 🤷♂️
Is it even possible that its gone? Lowkey want it to be because it makes me dysphoric sometimes. Maybe I'm just too eager to claim its gone Idk.
[Rant/Rave] I miss being 14 and it being so easy
/u/Nicole744
Created: Tue Sep 19 10:39:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7147zs/i_miss_being_14_and_it_being_so_easy/
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I beyond hated being a teenager especially family and peers. I've always struggled with people my own age because I've always felt alot more mature. And I just didn't get on well with my family but 10 years on...it was so much easier then, I had ed friends irl, no one noticed or cared if I ate, I could always hide my weightloss and lie my way out of things, I could fast for as long as I wanted and if I passed out oh well but now I have two kids so I can't afford to get dizzy, my boyfriend notices everything and I can't hide weight loss. I have no one that I can talk to about ed stuff and it all sucks
[Help] Purge... without fingers? lol
/u/slothLarryDavid [5'2 | CW: 120 | GW: 95 | -37lbs | 25F]
Created: Tue Sep 19 10:07:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/713ztg/purge_without_fingers_lol/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] binges!!
/u/daisyhands
Created: Tue Sep 19 09:34:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/713rhg/binges/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Fuck you, free pizza. You can't control me.
/u/squamouspuppies [5'10" | 24M]
Created: Tue Sep 19 09:07:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/713kz0/fuck_you_free_pizza_you_cant_control_me/
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So, my new workplace gives away free pizza to customers and staff once a month. I don't normally work on pizza night, but I had to cover a shift yesterday, and I was tasked with handing out the pizza for about an hour and a half. I was a little tempted by the greasy pepperoni pizza, but I was able to push those thoughts away, and by the time I was ready to eat dinner I just ate my pre-logged food!
By the end of my shift there was still leftover pizza, and I set aside a whole box for me to take home, but by the time it was actually time to go I was like, "you know what? I don't need this."
I felt pretty proud of myself.
[Rant/Rave] I want to set my scale on fire
/u/AnnahxD [5'9"/F/20 | 176lbs BMI 25.66 | UGW: 127 BMI: 18.75]
Created: Tue Sep 19 09:02:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/713jt1/i_want_to_set_my_scale_on_fire/
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This might be a bit of a rant but it seriously ruins my day when I hop on the scale and don't see what I want to. I fasted all day yesterday and today was 2lbs heavier then before I did it and it honestly has me so worked up I didn't even want to go to work. I obsessively weigh myself and I hate it so much. Currently trying to not have a freak out at work..
[Help] Stress Eating and getting more and more depressed, but more extreme...help.
/u/themclavicles [173cm | CW 58.5kg | GW 53kg | 19.3 | 23F]
Created: Tue Sep 19 08:59:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/713isa/stress_eating_and_getting_more_and_more_depressed/
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I'm currently trapped in a hole and getting extremely depressed because of it.
Food used to by my friend during stressful periods and now it is my enemy. I think i've been binging close to 2500 calories a day now for the last 5 days. I've purged multiple times on several of these days and now...it's just making me even more stressed and causing me to reach for more, binging, purging, and feeling exhausted. I can't find the time to do an exercise purge which would be more ideal.
It's an endless cycle and I just can't get back on track to my restriction lifestyle and I was doing so well for the last month before this week of stress came. I feel so mentally weak and all of this is making me more and more depressed.
I feel like i've just repeated things over and over again...but I need to get something out of me beside bile from a purge. I want to stop purging at the very least, but everytime something enters me, I need to get it out. And at the end of each day, when I'm dizzy and drained from my work and purge (which wastes even more of my time because i'm so useless in terms of self control) I think "okay, last time, get back on track tomorrow, fast, something...you can do it." Nope...nope...nope.
I just can't get out of this mentality...advice or something...something.
I don't even know anymore, I think I have at least two more weeks of crazy school work before the cloud of work i'm in lightens a bit.
I'm so unhealthy. Help.
[Discussion] Anyone else try to rewire their brain?
/u/allkindsofnewyou [5'2 | 95 | BMI 17 | F ]
Created: Tue Sep 19 08:52:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/713h8o/anyone_else_try_to_rewire_their_brain/
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I'm currently trying to make my brain associate being hungry with feeling good, lol. Anybody have tips? I think I'm on the verge of making a breakthrough.
[Rant/Rave] I'm going to start lying to my boyfriend... and I feel awful about it
/u/trying97 [CW 130 | GW 110]
Created: Tue Sep 19 08:48:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/713g9u/im_going_to_start_lying_to_my_boyfriend_and_i/
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I just relapsed recently... like a few weeks ago. It's been rough realizing I am back to old habits. Was aiming for 800 a day but I'm shrinking it to around 600 this week from today onwards. My boyfriend met me last year around this time, when I was mostly eating normally... and he knows about the relapse because we eat at least one meal together every day. He's distraught. So I am going to start eating nothing unless we're together, and I'm going to have to lie about eating. He keeps making me promise I'm going to try to get at least 1,000 calories and I keep promising him I will, and then breaking the promise. I feel awful. Like I'm breaking his trust. Like I have some big secret I can't tell him. And the worst part is, I know I care more about being thin than I do about keeping the promise. I'm realizing for the first time that I don't understand why I want it so badly. He keeps begging me to explain and I honestly can't...
Hi guys
/u/Satrina_petrova
Created: Tue Sep 19 07:58:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7134s1/hi_guys/
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https://i.imgur.com/lrfsquD.jpg
[Other] going to eat out tonight
/u/fairyqueen434
Created: Tue Sep 19 07:52:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7133n4/going_to_eat_out_tonight/
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i weighed myself today and it said i was below 100 lbs and i was like yikes really? i feel like i look really good in the mirror, even like i'm not quite satisfied, but the numbers scare me. plus i've been getting sick and that can't help/maybe is a product of not eating enough. so i'm taking myself out tonight to a turkish restaurant down the street. i know it will be much easier to eat a whole meal if i don't have to cook it and it also is delicious. wish me luck.
[Rant/Rave] Losing control on shitty days. Does this happen to you?
/u/yasssunicorn
Created: Tue Sep 19 07:48:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7132p1/losing_control_on_shitty_days_does_this_happen_to/
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i find myself eating out of anxiety just because i am mad at someone/ my body on bad days. By example yesterday, had a huge phone fight with my mom and said "fuck it" then proceeded to binge without even realizing, a big home made cookie, hot cheetos and cookies with nutella.
Then later that day i was at home, trying not to cry in bed cause i was on skype with my bf...
why do i do things 🙃 FML
[Other] literally me during a binge
/u/bellexy [5'8 | tubbalub | -18 | GW 118]
Created: Tue Sep 19 07:46:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/713283/literally_me_during_a_binge/
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https://www.facebook.com/uniladmag/videos/3092581644098207/
[Other] Food porn anime style?
/u/123Purrr [5'8" | 123 | 18.5 | F/24]
Created: Tue Sep 19 07:44:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7131y0/food_porn_anime_style/
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Just wondering if anyone else has seen
Food Wars! Shokugeki no Soma?!
Omg
It's the best when you're fasting since all the recipes are way too complicated to make on a whim and it's literal food porn. Like how the characters react to food resonates so deeply.... ❤👅
[Discussion] My strongest weapon...
/u/awayawaydown [c: 17.1 | g: 16.3]
Created: Tue Sep 19 07:25:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/712xxm/my_strongest_weapon/
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...is patience.
I did the math. My food philosophy is very much CICO - I can eat high-caloric foods, and I don't have any forbidden foods. My limit every day is 1300 calories. Honestly, if I weren't already underweight, my caloric intake would be considered a healthy one for dieting. Sometimes I overshoot 1300. Usually I undershoot - but not by much.
1300 calories a day is the TDEE of a person who is my height and my activity level but weighs only 35 (!) pounds. It is categorically impossible for me to consistently eat this amount of calories and not lose weight. And I do, slowly but steadily.
I go out with friends/family and need to eat normally in front of them? Ok, I have a day that exceeds my goal, and sometimes my TDEE. But the next day, and the next, and the next, I aim at that 1300. It is my default. So long as I do that, patiently, over time I can only lose weight.
1300 is enough to keep me functional. I don't get headaches (unless I am under hydrated). I never feel tempted to binge. I don't fast. My mood swings are minimal. By eating foods that are bulky and calorie-poor, I can basically eat food I enjoy all day long and still lose weight. Not quickly. But slowly and steadily. Do I feel weak? Yeah, some. I get cold, and I get other small side effects too. But overall, I am okay.
If I have a day over 1300 I don't sweat it. I know I have all the days of the future ahead of me and I know I can chip away, one day at a time. Patience will get me there.
I have a higher caloric need than many since I am not very short. YMMV. But for me, patience gets me there. A small trickle of water over time will wear down even the strongest stone.
Patience also helps me perform self-care. If I screw up, well, I know if I try my best and work hard, over time I will improve. If I feel lonely now, I know that given time, I will see friends and family again. I can outwait almost anything.
What is your strongest weapon, for better or worse?
[Rant/Rave] "like a bird" [rant]
/u/vio1et_ [🏹 155cm | 45.5kg]
Created: Tue Sep 19 07:21:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/712x3n/like_a_bird_rant/
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I don't even... so I just went to a work party with my department. Which had me feeling majorly stressed out. So we pay up front for a set course meal and all you can drink. And I'm doing my best to eat like 75-80% of the stuff I'm given, because I don't want to waste my money, but lord it's a damn lot of food. So I end up leaving a little bit of food on each dish, and because the dishes aren't clean, the waiters won't take them away. So we come to the end of the night and I am surrounded by dishes, each with just a bit of food left. It's already drawing way too much attention to me for my liking but then my co-worker goes, "are you finished?" like the whole group is waiting for me.
So I'm thoroughly dying of embarrassment at this point and I'm just like "yeah, I'm done," AND MY FUCKING BOSS goes, "she's like a bird!"
Like a goddamn bird. I could die here and now.
NEVER MIND that dinner was atrociously huge, NEVER MIND I just consumed well over 1,000 calories in a single meal, NEVER MIND I really truly did my best to eat as much as possible and I feel huge and gross and full and bloated, no NEVER MIND all that.
I am like a god damn bird.
I want to crawl into a hole and never come out again oh my fucking god.
[Discussion] September 19th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 19 06:56:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/712rzy/september_19th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What's a new place you've never been to?
For me, a ton of places, obviously (?), but coming up soon I'm going to Portland, OR. I've been there before, but not since they've developed the vegan "mini mall", and I've been an adult to venture out on my own!
[Discussion] What are your other obsessive/neurotic tendencies...
/u/bananapeppr [161 | 49.8 | 19.7 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 19 06:37:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/712oaw/what_are_your_other_obsessiveneurotic_tendencies/
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...besides weight/calories/food? I have a couple. I habitually pull out my eyebrow (only one of them lmao) even though it makes me look horrible. I also can't sleep unless I pee RIGHT before bed and if I do anything else I have to go again regardless of if I actually have to go or not.
Edit for typo.
[Rant/Rave] I don't think I can go out to eat with friends anymore.
/u/mendozaaaaaa [5'1" CW 140 GW 100]
Created: Tue Sep 19 06:26:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/712m85/i_dont_think_i_can_go_out_to_eat_with_friends/
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Incoming rant/rave, proceed with caution.
So the other day my husband and I went out with another couple, we'll call them R(male) and J(female). R&J picked the restaurant, a local family-owned place that doesn't have a menu posted online or anything. So while everyone else is deciding what to eat I'm trying to, as subtlety as possible, look up things on MFP trying to get an estimate of how many calories I'm about to put in my body. When my food arrives (grilled cheese and tater tots) I take a piece of the grilled cheese and count out 10 tater tots and that's what I'm going to eat. I was feeling pretty good at this point because I'd be able to make my calorie goal for the day and still have a pretty good meal without drawing any attention to myself.
Well, I guess at one point I had said something to my husband about calorie counting or something. I don't even remember doing it, and I know I didn't say it directly to R or J, but I guess I said something. After we got home he says to me "you know, you probably shouldn't mention things like that around J since she's big."
Uh. Okay. Now I feel like a jerk even though I'd never try to make her feel bad. I'm honestly too obsessed with my own eating to be worried about what she has on her plate. I feel like I made my husband ashamed to be seen with me, i feel awful. But I'm also not going to dinner without being aware of what I'm eating, I just can't do that. So I guess I'll just pass up any offers to go out from now on. Uhg.
[Sticky] Self-care and Beauty Q+A September 19, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Sep 19 06:10:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/712j8h/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_september_19_2017/
---
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Self-care and beauty threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! September 19, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Sep 19 06:10:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/712j7e/daily_food_diary_september_19_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 19, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] Almost fucked up and sent a friend a body check of me
/u/Kylepinocchio
Created: Tue Sep 19 05:36:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/712cw7/almost_fucked_up_and_sent_a_friend_a_body_check/
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Jesus. I just had to get this off my chest.
My friend asked for a picture of someone else and I was on my iPhone. I'm "recovered" but I still take obsessive body checks and shit like that. I accidentally clicked it and it sent automatically.
Quickly, I swiped up and put my phone in airplane mode. The image bounced back and said it couldn't go through. I turned airplane mode off and deleted it. I'm hoping it didn't somehow still go through. It was of me in my bra and underwear. I deleted the message instead of hitting "retry", but it still scared the living shit out of me.
I had to get that off my chest. You guys are the only community I know of who might relate, lmao.
I don't know how I would have explained it. I swear my heart dropped and I thought I was going to pass out when it first started going through.
TLDR; if you take obsessive body checks, be careful where you click.
motivation thread.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 19 05:21:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/712afg/motivation_thread/
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[deleted]
If I wanted to lose weight fast, how many calories would you recommend I stay under? I hate constant fluctuating my calories. I feel like it's fucking with my body. So I'd like to just have a number I can stick with.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 19 04:48:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/71258h/if_i_wanted_to_lose_weight_fast_how_many_calories/
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[deleted]
[Other] My boyfriend is completely unaware of calories, bless his soul...
/u/yesyeshihello [157cm | CW: 44.9kg | BMI: 18.22 | 27F]
Created: Tue Sep 19 03:53:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/711x32/my_boyfriend_is_completely_unaware_of_calories/
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I don't have many (any) friends and I confide in my boyfriend a lot. We are very close and I feel compelled to spill out everything that's on my mind when I'm with him.
So of course all I've been talking about is how scared I am of eating. My eating disorder is all I think about lately - and he was already worried about me not eating enough, so as you can imagine this lead to a series of arguments recently where he pretty much said to me that he wouldn't let me skip any more meals. He makes me pack my lunches now (which I can just throw away) and eat dinner.
Yesterday we were going out for dinner with a friend who's here from London for a couple of days. I'd had 100 calories the entire day to try and eat normally.
They ended up having some family problems and my boyfriend and I went out to eat by ourselves. I told him we should just go to McDonald's, and I'd get some soup. He didn't flinch.
We get there, he orders a big menu, and I get a small side salad (14 calories) and a small pea soup (64 calories). And some water.
After I eat he's all happy with himself and asks me if I'm full, I say yes and smile and we both go home.
We get home and I have to make my lunch for today. I ask him if a salad is okay, he says yes. I ask him if I can weight it, he says yes. So I came to work with a 42.4 calorie salad for lunch (just spinach and a tomato).
Is this lying to him? He's doing his best and I feel like I'm being a horrible person for taking advantage of this. But I can't let him sabotage my weight loss.
I'm not religious but I feel like I'm going to hell.
[Rant/Rave] In this moment is rather die that wake up tomorrow and be out of control
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Tue Sep 19 02:33:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/711ms3/in_this_moment_is_rather_die_that_wake_up/
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On mobile please flair as rant/rave
It's later or early right now and my stomach won't stop growling. It's been three full days since I had anything solid and I fear having to eat again or being out of control. The thought of eating make a me anxious like every bite would be poison to my body but in my mind the fact that food isn't poison is worse than if it were. If it would just kill me and put me out of my misery itd be better than lingering in my body and causing more weight gain.
Here is everything in my kitchen I plan to throw out in the morning and I also plan to hide my credit and debit carb where they won't be accessible.
Wheat thin crackers, unfrosted pop tarts, daiya vegan cheese slices, soy delicious coconut vanilla ice cream, vanilla almond milk. All this junk. I don't deserve any of it and it's all garbage.
I don't want to eat and I wish I could just never eat again but eventually my mind will get the best of me I'll become very suicidal after binging, I'll binge so more thinking I've ruined myself then I'll thinking about going to the hospital or actually killing myself then it will be another work day and I'll just hate myself and fast a few days until I crack again...like fucked up groundhog day.
I hate my life. I have no friends and no one to be close to. I am disgusting and repulsive and a freak. I don't belong anywhere.
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] I just exercised for 2 hours so I could burn enough calories to drink a cup of milk
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 112.8 | GW: 105 | M/15]
Created: Tue Sep 19 00:15:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7113o3/i_just_exercised_for_2_hours_so_i_could_burn/
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[removed]
How effective is fasting for you guys?
/u/anageecantu
Created: Tue Sep 19 00:02:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7111rh/how_effective_is_fasting_for_you_guys/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Food Anxiety: Caused by Eating, "Cured" by Binge
/u/vaporeevie [5'5" | 115.7 | 19.3 | -31.3 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 18 23:32:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/710x4e/food_anxiety_caused_by_eating_cured_by_binge/
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It's like eating causes me anxiety. So I eat as little as I can get away with, to avoid suspicion. I also have to eat enough to avoid the binge. It's a sweet spot. If I eat TOO much, the anxiety is triggered. I desperately need to make the anxiety go away and so my brain sends binge urges to find the anxiety that was caused by food in the first place.
So one small mistake, like having oats this morning instead of an apple, triggered a whole day of feeling like a failure, a binge, and a purge, and endless chewing and spitting, and I'm still fighting it. Because I switched up one thing in my food routine. I never even used to like routine. Now it's my life and I guess I'm just really miserable.
I have a thigh gap and I don't even give a shit. I just want to enjoy a bowl of oatmeal without spiraling for twelve hours.
[Thinspo] [NSFW] [Thinspo] Freja Beha Erichsen... The ultimate androgynous body?
/u/95CHOI [M20 / -230lbs]
Created: Mon Sep 18 23:26:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/710w7p/nsfw_thinspo_freja_beha_erichsen_the_ultimate/
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https://i.redd.it/2qy93499zrmz.png
[Discussion] comments on To The Bone
/u/vulspine
Created: Mon Sep 18 23:23:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/710vp7/comments_on_to_the_bone/
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I've seen a lot of hate around for TTB on Netflix but I actually kind of loved it. I've watched and read just about every single piece of memoir or fiction on eating disorders and found TTB pretty realistic but also really moving. (Marya Hornbacher's writing still holds first place though). I actually cried at that part with Eli and her mom (no spoilers for those who haven't seen it, but those who have probably know which part).
Also, I think I'm kind of in love with Lucas and I wish he was real.
Did anyone else like it? And why?
[Discussion] How do you handle college?
/u/salviaplath_13 [5'1 | CW: 103 | 19.5 | GW: ??? | F]
Created: Mon Sep 18 21:50:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/710fer/how_do_you_handle_college/
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Hey r/proED. It's been awhile. I used to post on here frequently but have been in recovery since July, and decided it was best for me to stop.
Recently gone back to college, and the stress is killing me. I just returned to my very academically rigorous school (I left for 2 years due to mental health stuff). Things are kicking into gear with my workload, and I haven't been handling the stress very well at all in the past week. I've had two mini-b/p relapses and one binge only episode. Everyday I've tried to restrict but I keep failing. I live in a student cooperative with 100 people, and the food here is so tempting. I don't know how to handle the stress of school w/o falling back into my eating disorder. I worked so hard to get to a good point in recovery, and I'm terrified of a full on relapse because I know I'll have to drop out if that happens. I had to leave my amazing therapist in my hometown when I moved back to my college town, and can't find one here who is covered by insurance. is I guess I just wanted to make a post for anyone who wanted to commiserate/talk about college and ED.
[Discussion] What do you use as ammunition?
/u/FoxySeventeen
Created: Mon Sep 18 21:37:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/710d4h/what_do_you_use_as_ammunition/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I feel so wasteful...
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Mon Sep 18 21:33:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/710cdn/i_feel_so_wasteful/
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On mobile flair as rant rave.
I make food for my 30 minute lunch breaks and sometimes my other breaks at work (I work at a restaurant) I always make things I wish I would allow myself to eat and then I sit and stare at them for the duration of my breaks, take a few pictures to post on Instagram and just not touch them when I'm sitting down. I then box them up and set them aside and tell my coworkers I'm full.
When I leave work I usually throw them out in the dumpster out back or the compost. I feel so wasteful. I make food just so other people think I'm eating and sometimes hoping I can allow myself a meal without hating myself afterwards.
One of my coworkers saw what I whipped up earlier and said "that looks really good! I hope you actually eat it this time" this coworker has seen me sit and not touch my food a couple times this week. I feel self conscious about eating but also I just want people to validate my illness and having and ED. It's not as simple as just "eat" there is a mental block that keeps me from feeling deserving of food...
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] Nights are so freaking difficult.
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Mon Sep 18 21:23:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/710afn/nights_are_so_freaking_difficult/
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I guess I'm just gonna start fasting til after 5pm and save all my calories til then. Because nights are so freaking hard. I want to be skinny, but food is such a comfort to me right now. And that is as sad and unhealthy as it sounds. It's my one physical pleasure besides sex/masturbation, and I obviously can't masturbate 3-4 times a day.
[Goal] Who are you excited to have see you once you hit your UGW?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 113.6 | UGW: 102lbs | Peach: LobsterMacNCheese]
Created: Mon Sep 18 21:13:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7108pu/who_are_you_excited_to_have_see_you_once_you_hit/
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[Help] How not to binge when you're stoned?
/u/sp0ngeb0bcirclepants
Created: Mon Sep 18 20:40:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/710205/how_not_to_binge_when_youre_stoned/
---
Thanks in advance 😭 it's 8pm and I haven't fucked up yet and I don't wanna start
[Rant/Rave] Feel like I'm going in circles
/u/nycthrowaway51 [5' 3" | CW: 100 | BMI: 17.7]
Created: Mon Sep 18 20:34:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7100op/feel_like_im_going_in_circles/
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I've been trying to restrict for the past month but I've been getting nowhere. I'll restrict successfully for 1-2 days, eating only dinner plus a snack or two, and then I'll binge and hate myself. And then I'll repeat the cycle over and over again.
I don't understand why I even binge so much. I'm honestly feel happier when I'm hungry and thin, so why do I keep on making the same stupid mistake? I'm not even sure if I have an eating disorder at this point. I've been slowly gaining weight and am currently only 5 pounds underweight. At this rate, I'll probably be at a normal BMI within a few weeks.
[Help] Does this actually work?
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 112.8 | GW: 105 | M/15]
Created: Mon Sep 18 20:12:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70zwcb/does_this_actually_work/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I can't be trusted
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 18 19:58:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70ztl8/i_cant_be_trusted/
---
I was at the store buying ice cream last week and looked at the calories for a small Ben and jerrys carton when I saw that a bigger, full sized carton of a different brand had less calories. I figured that if I went by the serving size and controlled myself it'd be perfect. Obviously I'm a fat pig and ate the whole thing in two days and had to fast for four days :) fml
[Rant/Rave] I just purged for the first time
/u/annabear [F23 | 5'7" | CW:254.6 | -11.7]
Created: Mon Sep 18 19:57:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70zteh/i_just_purged_for_the_first_time/
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And it feels fucking awful just WHY. I've been doing moderately well, sticking to veganism and restricting for the most part. Tonight the pizza calls were too strong and I got a personal pizza from across the street. Ate way too much, and the next thing I know it, I'm chugging water and purging. Now I feel like shit but I'm glad the pizza isn't in my body.
This is such a new feeling for me, terrible but different. Now I'm confused and agitated and I just want to smoke and brush my teeth 1000 times. Currently killing a bottle of powerade zero and moping on my bed. Ugh
Saw a super thin girl, wearing workout clothes, running with a grocery store bag that contained nothing but a 2L bottle of diet pepsi
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 18 19:53:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70zsi8/saw_a_super_thin_girl_wearing_workout_clothes/
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[removed]
[Other] / crying /
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~60lbs | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Mon Sep 18 19:46:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70zr2j/crying/
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https://imgur.com/xQt1GGA
[Rant/Rave] Got in bed to prevent a binge
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 18 19:22:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70zlzw/got_in_bed_to_prevent_a_binge/
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I was going to fast today.
Then I just got a snack - Belvitas, not too bad. 230 cal.
Then I decided having ramen for dinner wouldn't be too bad, I could do the 16/8 IF thing, and I've got a million packs of ramen (I bought every brand of vegan ramen at the Asian grocery store. 480 cal.
Then I decided that I needed something snacks but healthy, because I felt a binge coming on. Had 350 g of red cabbage (my mother literally brought me like 5 pounds of shredded cabbage yesterday) with some mustard on it. 140 cal.
Then I decided, I have some calories left and could still stay under 1200 or even 1000. I had a couple of things left from my Vegan Cuts box, including this little thing of Wowbutter ("peanut" butter safe for kids to bring to school). I weighed it (smart), naively thinking it was probably a 1 Tbs sample size, instead of a normal 2 Tbs serving (it didn't have the size on it, which is ridiculous). Turns out it was 2 Tbs (32 g). 200 cal.
At this point I was literally pacing around my apartment, slapping my fingers and thumb together, trying to think of something I could eat but wouldn't be too bad, and was really struggling internally.
I fought it by going to bed, it's kind of my safe zone in here. Separate room, never eat in my bed, it's dark and scary out in the kitchen when I'm in bed.
And now I have to go back out there to get my phone charger fml 😂 ridiculous
Edit: 1048 cal total, totally not that bad at all! I'm semi proud of myself for beating the binge, but kind of disappointed because I was really trying to make up for yesterday's binge after restricting so well all last week 😔
[Discussion] Weekly calorie goals vs. daily
/u/Bakedalaska1 [5'5.5" | 128.6 | GW:120]
Created: Mon Sep 18 19:19:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70zlb8/weekly_calorie_goals_vs_daily/
---
I was just curious who else aims for a weekly total rather than daily? I've just started doing this and I think it's really helping me. The fact that I can "save up" calories and binge guilt free is amazing for me mentally. I set my weekly limit for 7,000 and that allows me to restrict heavily on the days I work and still somewhat "binge" on weekends/days off. This past week I ate 400-800 most days, except for Saturday when I went out to eat twice and went out drinking for about 2700 calories. I ended up at a total of 6,998 calories for the week and actually lost 6lbs (mostly water weight, but I haven't been losing in so long)!
When you go out of your way to go to a different grocery store over 5 calories...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 18 19:13:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70zk2w/when_you_go_out_of_your_way_to_go_to_a_different/
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https://imgur.com/4rUlg5x
[Rant/Rave] Undiagnosed
/u/_NoNameNecessary_ [5'3" | CW 131lb | GW 100lb | BMI 23 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 18 19:08:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70ziz2/undiagnosed/
---
Lately I have been restricting more and while looking for tips and thinspo I happened to find this subreddit. I don't let myself eat more than 400 calories so I can loose weight to stop being a fat pig and all I think about is how I will avoid my next meal. I feel bad being here though because I don't know if I have an eating disorder. Anyone else have the same issue? (Just in case it isn't clear I am not asking for a diagnosis)
[Rant/Rave] Why do I have no self control?!
/u/midwesthoe- [5'1| 105 | 19.8 |20F|]
Created: Mon Sep 18 19:02:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70zhn7/why_do_i_have_no_self_control/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] puke is unfortunately comforting, I think I've finally lost it
/u/tarantulahospital [5'7 | -25lb | F]
Created: Mon Sep 18 18:49:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70zeyy/puke_is_unfortunately_comforting_i_think_ive/
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Warning this is pretty gross and over dramatic
it's one constant I can have always
I can always count on being able to shove two fingers down my throats and expect vomit shortly after.
It's not like it's going to depend on my choices.
I'll still have it.
It doesn't judge me.
I know it's weird but I hate it and love it. Not in a fetish way. It's just... weird.
Now if only I could lose weight while purging.
[Discussion] [tip] [discussion] [recipe] alternatives for cravings
/u/thebulmabrief9000
Created: Mon Sep 18 18:33:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70zbdj/tip_discussion_recipe_alternatives_for_cravings/
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What are some of your alternative for cravings, or low cal/safe recipes? I like to make green tea with stevia, put the tea in ice cube trays and snack on the ice cubes when i have a sweet/ice cream craving. also freezing chocolate/vanilla almond milk and adding fruit is a good one for sweet/cold cravings.
[Discussion] Can anyone else almost perfectly estimate calories?
/u/petitewinter [5'7.5" | Fat | -9lbs | Female]
Created: Mon Sep 18 18:30:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70zav2/can_anyone_else_almost_perfectly_estimate_calories/
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I went to the museum the other day, and in the health and nutrition exhibit they had a 'guess the calories' competition. Like they had a hotdog with ketchup and mustard, or a cupcake with sprinkles, and you'd have to guess the calorie count (In intervals of 50, like 650, 700, 750, etc). And I was by far in the lead. I guessed every one perfectly. Everyone around me just thought I was really smart, when in reality I just obsessively count calories.
Does anyone else do this? I feel proud and at the same time, can't believe I spend so much of my time on calories...
Why do boys have smaller thighs
/u/deanhipchester [5' | honestly idk | F]
Created: Mon Sep 18 18:22:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70z94m/why_do_boys_have_smaller_thighs/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Nervous energy is the best for productivity
/u/northdakotanowhere [5'7 | CW:121 | BMI:19 | F/27]
Created: Mon Sep 18 18:06:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70z5li/nervous_energy_is_the_best_for_productivity/
---
I had an appointment with my psychologist for this ed program. After my trip to Italy I feel good enough. I'm closer towards recovery than the ed. But I relapsed on weed and have been drinking more again. So trying to worry about eating is tough now. I had an hour long drive after my appointment to try and convince myself to getting a bottle of wine. But then I might as well get two bottles of wine...etc. So somehow I made it home without going to the liquor store. My psych mentioned getting help for that today. And how we're going to be working on my avoidance issues hahaha! So that just made me want to drink more.
INSTEAD! I came home and put myself to work. What used to be the rat/craft room (RIP lil' buddies) is now just my record/craft room. I even made my pooch his own bed.
I will always find a way to avoid my issues. So I'm really glad I was productive today. It's so rare I put that nervous energy towards anything remotely positive. I now have a space to work on my thousands of projects and listen to my records and maybe do good things.
[:D](https://i.imgur.com/Da2UD8d.jpg)
Somehow in spite of myself, I had a good day.
Does anyone else have a sanctuary? I've never had a room that felt like ME! It's awesome!
5 More Years
/u/theinfamousjim-89
Created: Mon Sep 18 17:52:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70z2ik/5_more_years/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I'm disgusting and that's why no one likes me
/u/secretweightloss
Created: Mon Sep 18 17:28:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70yxdj/im_disgusting_and_thats_why_no_one_likes_me/
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I met up with 'friends' tonight and ended up eating onion rings and half a portion of fries :(
And i found out my ex flatmate who pretended he was moving out because he couldn't afford it and wanted to live back home was lying he just couldn't stand me and is moving in with someone else and I feel like shit. Also one of my other 'friends' was like "oh yeah at my party" and I was like 'you didn't invite me to that' and he was all awkward but it's clear they've been having parties and going planes without me and I just feel like shit.
I'm fat and disgusting and I've consumed way too many calories today and it's no wonder no one can stand to be around me. I'm so tempted to do something bad but I can't
[Rant/Rave] EDs plus food service
/u/vulspine
Created: Mon Sep 18 17:15:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70yujh/eds_plus_food_service/
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[removed]
[Other] Mechanism Behind Calorie Restriction and Lengthened Lifespan Uncovered - we're gonna live forever you guys
/u/vermillionfate [5'1 | CW: 108lbs | GW: 98lbs | UGW: 88lbs ✨]
Created: Mon Sep 18 17:14:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70yu8y/mechanism_behind_calorie_restriction_and/
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https://www.alnmag.com/news/2017/09/mechanism-behind-calorie-restriction-and-lengthened-lifespan-uncovered#.WcAj2OWkcRU.facebook
[Rant/Rave] A Much Needed Vent
/u/Fuzzypanda67 [5'8" | 135lb | 19.37 | -7 | 20 F]
Created: Mon Sep 18 16:34:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70yll5/a_much_needed_vent/
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I don't have anywhere else to comfortably vent all of this and I apologize if it's jumbled.
For some background, I'm a college student who's been officially diagnosed with PTSD, depression, and anorexia nervosa. Last spring was my worst semester yet in college. My GPA was a 1.49, versus my usual above a 3.00, and my mental illnesses were so bad I had to be hospitalized for a panic attack. The attack left me so worked up I couldn't breathe on my own and was passing in and out of consciousness.
I was traumatized by last semester and I'm honestly so afraid of this semester being the same. I feel myself losing all of the self control I've been building up with my support system and psychiatrist. I feel like I never put 100% into anything anymore, even my ED. I used to be consumed by restricting. I have lactose intolerance so I would even eat dairy as a means of a "natural laxative" to lose water weight and feel thinner. I miss that kind of control in my life because even when I was feeling my worst I at least had my weight loss progress to look to. I went down two pants sizes and felt thinner than ever. Now I'm not having the motivation to do anything. Instead of doing my homework I'm binging and watching Netflix or I'm binge drinking with my friends. There's been nights where I've had two days worth of calories just in cocktails. I recently started dating someone new and he's honestly the most handsome guy I've ever met. He's a marine so his physique is a perfect 10. I don't understand why he's interested in me in the first place and now I'm terrified that if I gain weight and don't "match" him in physique he'll leave. He wouldn't be vain about it, like "oh you're too fat for me" but I can always see guys getting gradually less and less attracted to me when I gain weight. I hope I'm not the only one who feels that way.
I just wish there was a way I could get my life together and not be so afraid of the past. I've been showing some of the behaviors that I had last semester, like not doing my assignments and skipping appointments with my psychiatrist. It's really scaring me and I don't know what to do.
[Rant/Rave] Life feels pretty okay right now
/u/cinnamonbicycle [5'2 | F | 🍑: shakylittleleaf]
Created: Mon Sep 18 16:16:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70yhhx/life_feels_pretty_okay_right_now/
---
Honestly I don't know why I'm posting this. I just feel like this community is one big family of wonderful people and I like sharing stuff here.
I'm a junior in high school and I'm planning to be a composer. For a long time I want sort of "dormant" with music stuff, but now I'm back into it and happier than ever. I'm playing music 4+ hours a day. My writer's block broke a couple days ago and the music is just pouring out. I entered this huge composition competition the other day and just got the confirmation email. I'm getting better and better in the viola which I've only been playing six months.
I've also been dealing with crippling anxiety over not being independent enough (ironic, right?) but I've recently started driving and doing things on my own like an almost-adult. Driving! That's huge for me. Plus, I have a ton of control over my own food and I'm NOT going to screw myself over by restricting & getting caught. Oh, no, I'm riding this out until college and THEN I'll be free to restrict again.
Idk. This just seem pretty hopeful right now. This feeling is always fleeting so I'd better make the most of it. Growing up has always been a scary concept for me to deal with, but now that I'm actually embracing it I feel so free and liberated. It's great. I feel like maybe I'll actually have a life one day.
[Help] I need support
/u/skelle-constellation [5'6" | 141 | 22.7 | UGW: 108]
Created: Mon Sep 18 16:06:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70yfa6/i_need_support/
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My sisters and my mom are going on this vegan diet thing for thirty days and they want me to join in.
I had fasted for four days and didn't lose one ounce so I was like fuck it I'll do it. Try to be a healthy human being for once anyway
I pretty much ate 1000 calories of spinach, cauliflower, and pineapple and I'm freaking out. 1000 is way too much for me. I don't know. Rationally, I know I'm still deficit. I know I didn't eat that much and they were all fruits and veggies but like
ugh I just feel full and I hate it. I know I'm going to gain weight tomorrow. I can feel it. I just feel full and gross and just ugh how do people eat like this every day please help.
[Help] Feel like i've become too tolerant to ephedrine - what other options are out there?
/u/funnylittlehedgehog
Created: Mon Sep 18 15:59:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70ydhg/feel_like_ive_become_too_tolerant_to_ephedrine/
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I've been taking it for quite a while now, with breaks in between of varying length. But now, when I take it in the morning, I find myself mindlessly eating a couple of hours later, and you know how it is when you open the floodgates of snacking.
Has anyone tried anything else that seems effective and safe? Obviously i'm a little concerned about just buying any old diet pills online...you hear these horror stories.
Thanks!
[Rant/Rave] I messed up really bad
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 96ish |17.6ish| 20F]
Created: Mon Sep 18 15:56:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70ycse/i_messed_up_really_bad/
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I'm so ashamed.
I told myself I wouldn't purge. I've been trying throughout this whole relapse to avoid it like the plague.
I felt so faint today. I had to eat. I let myself get to 700. Then I was like, "I should definitely eat more." Then I got to 1100. Then I wanted a brownie...
Now I'm scarfing down ramen and I'm going to go purge all of this shit. My stomach is burning. I feel ill.
I am so embarrassed. I have to try and purge quietly because my roommates are here...but I need this shit out of me right now.
I wish I just stuck to restricting today.
Edit: Made myself puke like 8 or 9 times to try and get everything out. No idea how many calories I actually avoided absorbing. Towards the end it got so hard to keep going so I gave up. Probably purged 400/500 of it? No clue. I'm so tired of this illness.
[Discussion] Riverdale
/u/midwesthoe- [5'1| 105 | 19.8 |20F|]
Created: Mon Sep 18 15:40:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70y98c/riverdale/
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Does anyone else watch riverdale? The main characters are so thin and so gorgeous have have the perfect outfits.
[Discussion] [discussion] weaknesses
/u/thebulmabrief9000
Created: Mon Sep 18 15:28:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70y6a3/discussion_weaknesses/
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what are your food weaknesses, and what do you do to avoid binging? my weaknesses are definitely chips & chocolate, and to avoid binging i always have diet coke on hand, or i take a hot bath or a nap when i feel like binging
[Rant/Rave] I'm objectively fat - and it's killing me.
/u/Lunnaris [5' | CW: 134,4 | UGW: 110,2 | 24F]
Created: Mon Sep 18 15:19:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70y44u/im_objectively_fat_and_its_killing_me/
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I'm way up my proper weigh(t?) and my tummy is pregnant-like. This is all objective info.
I already had an ED, but every time I see myself in the mirror I forget about it and jump headfirst into disordered eating, and it makes me feel so bad.
I just want to be comfortable in my own body like I used to be. But months ago a doctor prescribed me some meds for my then misdiagnosed mental illness and they made me fat. And I can't seem to get back on track.
Now I know I have BPD and my treatment works and doesn't make me fat (tho it makes me hella hungry).
It seems like my mind should be at it's best but instead here I am, crying of hunger in my bed.
I almost took a bite of a freaking honey scented candle, I'm going crazy.
But then I get up and go to the kitchen and I can bring myself to eat.
I don't know, I'm just rambling.
Hope someone out there understands.
[Intro] i fell off & on again
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 18 15:17:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70y3ng/i_fell_off_on_again/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] My face is puffier than ever and I haven't purged in days!
/u/ohwellolivia
Created: Mon Sep 18 14:36:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70xt9x/my_face_is_puffier_than_ever_and_i_havent_purged/
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[removed]
[Intro] Intro~
/u/fog-bone
Created: Mon Sep 18 14:25:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70xqpu/intro/
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Hey! So I thought I'd make a little intro.
I've been lurking on this subject on and off from my main account but I haven't wanted to post or comment with it since people I know irl know my reddit username. So I've made this account in order to do so.
I'm 21, and I've had an ED since I was 12. I "recovered" for a few years between the ages of 17 to 19, and during that time my weight skyrocketed to 169. (I'm 5'2" so that's preeeetty awful). So now I'm basically back to pre "recovery" ( I don't really like to call it recovery since it was essentially a 2 year binge lol) restricting.
Basic stats (I'll post these in the stat post pinned too):
* Height 5'2" feet in
* Current weight (CW): 158 lbs
* Highest weight (HW): 169 lbs
* Lowest weight (LW): 92 lbs
* Goal weight (GW): 130 lbs (by 1/1 2018)
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW): 105 lbs
* Weight lost (WL): 11 lbs
* BMI: 29.94
* Age: 21
* Gender expression: female
[Discussion] Does weed make anyone else's ED thoughts worse?
/u/jjfmish [5'6 | 150 | BMI: 24.2 | GW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Mon Sep 18 14:08:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70xmd2/does_weed_make_anyone_elses_ed_thoughts_worse/
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I smoke weed a lot, mainly to help me sleep at a reasonable hour. For some reason, it seems to have the opposite effect on me as it does on most other people - I don't really get the munchies, and it actually triggers a lot of ED thoughts for me. I start thinking a lot about my body, what I'll eat the next day and how fat I am. It's not really an unpleasant thing, just interesting because I become so hyperfocused on my unhealthy relationship with food and my body.
[Rant/Rave] Food poisoning is my best friend 💕
/u/kimberlyjackson98 [5'4 | CW 223.8 lbs | 39.27| -7 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 18 14:00:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70xk6o/food_poisoning_is_my_best_friend/
---
I'm so happy guys 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 so Friday my boyfriends friend invited us out to this bomb ass buffet, and I'll admit I ate like a fucking pig 🐷 I've fallen off the wagon these last 2 months just really engorging myself. This must be a sign from the ED Gods because as soon as we left my tummy started doing flips. And as soon as we got home I probably spent a good half hour on the toilet. This entire weekend me and my boyfriend have had lava spewing out of our asses, but I couldn't be more excited!!! I'VE LOST 4 lbs FROM JUST PISSING OUT MY ASSHOLE AND I FEEL WONDERFUL. Every time I go to the bathroom I'm excited. This is just what I needed to get back on track.
Plus my best friend is due this week and I'm going to use her as my motivation to get skinnier than her 💕 I'm turning over a new leaf and I'm so excited for myself!!
I LOVE FOOD POISONING 🌈💖💖💖
[Discussion] Besides water, what is your go-to low/zero calorie drink of choice?
/u/RickyWicky
Created: Mon Sep 18 13:39:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70xf5k/besides_water_what_is_your_goto_lowzero_calorie/
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I generally like carbonated drinks, so I tend to go for a sparkling water quite often. The bubbles also help to make you feel fuller. But my absolute weakness is Coke Light with a squirt of lemon juice. I haven't and don't want to do the actual calorie calculation for this per glass because I really don't want to have to give this up. It's too awesome.
Other than that I just drink black, sugarless coffee!
Edit: just calculated the Diet Coke + lemon juice: ~5 cal per 250ml glass. I'm...ok with that.
[Rant/Rave] Was Doing The Healthy Thing For 3 Months And Didn't Lose A Single Pound
/u/Flesh_Daddy_
Created: Mon Sep 18 13:21:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70xauv/was_doing_the_healthy_thing_for_3_months_and/
---
On mobile so I can't flair!
For three months, I ate 1200 calories daily, logged everything, exercised for an hour everyday, and ate completely clean and didn't shed a single goddamn pound.
I gave it up, guys. I gave up and I was so frustrated that I just restricted. I have lost 10 pounds (and counting) since giving up a month ago and just going back to my old ana ways.
I, honestly, prefer it this way sometimes. I feel like it's my "norm" and I feel good, I feel "clean" if that makes sense and I feel so much better about myself having lost that weight. I was becoming a raging bitch from frustration and feeling fat.
I feel like a look much better so I feel much better about myself and people are treating me better the more weight I lose, so my disposition is much sunnier!
I am **NOT** promoting this to anyone! Let me make that clear. Just stating my excitement of finally being out of the 160's and well on my way to 140 after months of trying. But what may not work for me, can still work for you. I still think the healthy route is better; I just get discouraged easily if I don't get at least somewhat of a result after 3 goddamn months.
Anyway, sorry if this all seemed jumbled, just happy is all!
TL;DR: I am finally losing weight but not in the way I wanted to.
[Rant/Rave] My ED makes my period worse.
/u/itszwee [5'3"| SW 176.X lbs | CW 155.2 lbs | UGW 115 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Sep 18 12:37:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70wzsh/my_ed_makes_my_period_worse/
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I've been relapsing for the last few months and I'm normally pretty good at consistent weight loss...
Except for one week every month.
I noticed that when I'm PMSing, it's so hard to fast successfully. I'll plan to go for x amount of time, and then give in, like, the night before I'm supposed to stop, because I suddenly don't give a fuck (but of course, at the same time, I give many fucks). It feels like I'm bingeing, even though it's probably a "normal" caloric intake, because it's
-all at once
-just craving-satisfying food, not usually healthy food
-food combinations that don't make sense (eg. eating Nutella with a spoon, dipping Doritos into the remnants of the sweet and sour sauce from the Chinese takeout from two nights ago, etc.)
I partially blame the scale readings on period-related bloating and being (literally) full of shit, but I know these monthly eating habits aren't helping.
This is more of a rant than anything else, but if anyone has tips for reducing bloating/PMS-related cravings, I'd be happy to receive them.
Edit: weight *loss, not weight gain. Freudian slip, much?
[Rant/Rave] Get you a boy who can support your baby steps 😭
/u/carolineeo [5'7" | 115 | 18 | 22F]
Created: Mon Sep 18 12:07:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70ws3v/get_you_a_boy_who_can_support_your_baby_steps/
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https://i.redd.it/w9cix1i7momz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Hahahaha well now it's a competition and I wanna kms
/u/CoolCatLovesAllKids [164cm | 15 | lmfao | Female]
Created: Mon Sep 18 11:44:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70wm2t/hahahaha_well_now_its_a_competition_and_i_wanna/
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https://i.redd.it/7g1pfn34iomz.jpg
[Help] Someone help me figure out my weight! I'm freaking out right now lol
/u/jjfmish [5'6 | 150 | BMI: 24.2 | GW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Mon Sep 18 11:01:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70wdgb/someone_help_me_figure_out_my_weight_im_freaking/
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Yesterday, I weighed myself for the first time in around 2 weeks (the scale that I had at college broke, and I'm going home soon so I didn't want to waste money on a new one). I was at my friend's and she had an old analogue scale on which the starting number was 5 pounds. Does this mean that it registered a weight that was 5lbs heavier than I actually am?
[Other] pint of enlightened ice cream for freeee
/u/bellexy [5'8 | tubbalub | -18 | GW 118]
Created: Mon Sep 18 10:49:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70wa94/pint_of_enlightened_ice_cream_for_freeee/
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http://try.eatenlightened.com/hungry-girl/
you have to submit the form and it'll get mailed to your house - so it's a little bit of a wait, but hey free ice cream!
[Discussion] DAE have pain when you sit on hard surfaces?
/u/sp_600 [5'7🌻107🌻16.8🌻20f]
Created: Mon Sep 18 09:58:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70vxnc/dae_have_pain_when_you_sit_on_hard_surfaces/
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I am at a point where I basically have no ass. It used to be big though.
Anyway, if i have to sit on a seat without a cushion, i can feel my sit bones and it hurts. If i need to sit for over like half am hour, I better have a sweater or something to put down to sit on or else i get really sore.
[Discussion] Anybody else still hate their face even when they’re underweight?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 18 09:54:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70vwno/anybody_else_still_hate_their_face_even_when/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Incoming negativity... rantings about classmates and food
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~60lbs | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Mon Sep 18 09:13:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70vmvt/incoming_negativity_rantings_about_classmates_and/
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I don't really know why but something just annoyed the shit out of me (maybe im hangry lmao)
---
I go to class to learn. I dont go to class to smell your fucking food. Eat that somewhere else goddamn. Go in the hallway please. All i can smell is french fries from chick-fil-a and this fucking calzone and i feel heat in my ears im so annoyed.
I can hear them chewing and drinking and crinkling their goddamn wrappers and it driving me insane.
I know its because I want to be able to eat french fries and calzones and chips and ice cream and everything Im so goddamn scared of. All I want to do is just eat like a normal goddamn human being. But no... I dont work like that. Not until i reach my UGW.
I was so close to buying a sushi roll but my brain talked itself out of it. Which is fine I guess, less calories. But smelling all this food... I just want to run away it makes it so much harder.
Im gonna go sit in the bathroom and cry now...
Edit: I got out of class and saw how much bitterness this post caused. I didn't intend to cause so many problems between the users here... sorry guys
[Other] "TMI"
/u/untroubledbyaspark
Created: Mon Sep 18 08:53:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70vi9p/tmi/
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I see so many girls and women on here giving TMI apologies for talking about their bodies... It makes me sad sad sad.
Y'all are beautiful people, and we all feel enough shit and shame about our bodies without having to feel like menstruation or whatever is gross. Just because little boys go "ew" whenever women talk about their bodies doesn't mean they're right. Fight the patriarchy and stuff, yeah?
I just wanted to say that I will do my best to make this a safe place for everyone, regardless of sex/gender/body shape/size, to talk about absolutely anything they want to. I'm here because other people here are that good to me, too. You're not alone, nothing your body is doing is abnormal, and you never have to apologize for talking or asking questions.
Xo
Edit: on mobile, can't flair. I dunno what this is anyway haha
[Intro] Hello
/u/bananapeppr [161 | 49.8 | 19.7 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 18 08:48:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70vh1e/hello/
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Hi everyone, I've posted here a little bit under a different username but as usual some asshole decided to use that to try to discredit everything I said in another sub, so I made this account. I didn't want to use it til I lost a few more lbs but here we are.
So yes hello I'm bananapeppr and I'm 5'3.5" 110 lbs going for 105 by Christmas (or sooner) and I love this sub and how supportive and beautiful you all are <3
Lmao people on this sub complaining about getting a C
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 18 08:08:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70v7xc/lmao_people_on_this_sub_complaining_about_getting/
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[deleted]
[Thinspo] Do your thinspo preferences correlate with your own body insecurities?
/u/jjfmish [5'6 | 150 | BMI: 24.2 | GW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Mon Sep 18 07:50:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70v3yc/do_your_thinspo_preferences_correlate_with_your/
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I'm not sure if this makes sense, but something I've noticed about myself is that I gravitate towards thinspo that features body parts I really dislike about myself. I'm top heavy without a defined waist, so my favourite thinspos are of collarbones, small arms and tiny waists. On the other hand, I have relatively thin legs, so I'm not really drawn to leg thinspo. I actually tend to prefer more muscular legs over super tiny ones, even though I love a tiny upper body.
Am I making sense? Can anyone else relate?
[Rant/Rave] Success?! I did it!
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Mon Sep 18 07:48:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70v3o2/success_i_did_it/
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Relevant https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zi1lm/i_said_f_it_and_it_feels_so_goodfor_now/?st=J7Q81RRC&sh=e44ce1f6
Well for 10 days I ate exactly what I wanted and didn't exercise. This hasn't happened in years, I can't remember the last time. It was blissful and frightening. Cooking without a food scale, eating because I fucking wanted more popcorn, want cheese on dem eggs? Add cheese. It was a lot of reactive eating but for actually nutritious foods which makes me believe I just was super depleted and broke. Everyone is so proud of me but it feels dumb. I guess I'm proud of me but dang even though I wasn't counting I ate upwards of 7000 calories a day I'm sure but was legit hungry and my therapist said "hungry? Eat." There was no point that I was stuffed, so guess it was legit hunger whether mental or physical. Now back to the grind I guess. I'm hoping to not descend into the pit of where I was a week ago but fearing I gained 10 lbs and need to fix that, I guess only goal today is to not not eat. Eat something even if small. This ambivalence sucks. Last week was amazing and I would love to feel that free all the time but fear losing control so back to it I go.
[Rant/Rave] I have to pour my brain out a little here, sorry in advance
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 96ish |17.6ish| 20F]
Created: Mon Sep 18 07:37:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70v1a6/i_have_to_pour_my_brain_out_a_little_here_sorry/
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This is honestly just going to be me getting out some recent developments with my ED.
1. My boyfriend and I just ate breakfast. I had half a cup of cereal and half a cup of milk, but he just looked so proud. He pet my face and called me pretty. Then I went and ruined it and said, "I feel like my legs look so fat." The look on his face after that broke my heart, and now I feel so stupid for saying anything. Then he said, "It's just scary to hear you say that when I'm looking at your pencil like legs."
2. I can't weigh myself until this weekend and it's driving me absolutely crazy. I need to know if all this restriction is paying off. I hate not knowing the number.
3. I looked into getting an ED specialized therapist, and out of 7 numbers I called, only one therapist sounds even remotely nice. Yet of course, she's the hardest one to get into contact with.
4. I definitely have body dysmorphia. I can't even tell what I truly look like anymore. Multiple people have expressed concerns to me, and all I can do is listen and mentally laugh because I still look so fat.
5. The janitor at my job came up to me and asked if I was okay. She said I lost a lot of weight since last semester. I told her it was just stress, to which she said, "Someone your age shouldn't be that stressed. Take care of yourself." I really love that janitor, she's a damn sweetheart, but it also is weird that she noticed when my own mother hasn't noticed.
6. I feel dizzy and have a headache so often now that it feels like I'm dreaming. I don't even restrict very low and yet my body is falling apart. I take a multivitamin every morning and it doesn't seem to be doing anything.
7. My hair is falling out en masse despite the vitamin
8. My period just came a week and a half early, and it is the lightest period I've experienced in years thus far. It's also got a different (TMI I'm sorry) color than usual. Wtf.
All this is going on, and yet I look in the mirror and I see a tub of lard. I can't take this.
[Help] Help! I can't stop bingeing
/u/smange719
Created: Mon Sep 18 07:23:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70uyla/help_i_cant_stop_bingeing/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] Thinspo
/u/i-have-8-nickels
Created: Mon Sep 18 07:14:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70uwp1/thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/ryyhyaez5nmz.jpg
[Intro] What is eating anymore
/u/Palombus [5'3" | CW: 125lbs | 22.8 | GW: 119lbs | 17f]
Created: Mon Sep 18 07:13:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70uwkp/what_is_eating_anymore/
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First time poster here. Using my main because fuck everything.
I dont even known if i really have an ED but my eating surely is disordered.
I've been mostly in a binge/restrict cycle throughout the year but im having problems controlling the binges. So i hardly ever purge because its strenous and unpleasing but fuck me i just purged three days in a row. My face is all puffy and fucked up from last time but i just couldnt help myself, feeling emptier was so good and such a relief.
I feek as if im not even losing weight anymore with my lack of control. I might purge some of the shit i eat but never all. The worst part? Its not even good. My taste buds dont care anymore, i just feel the urge to stuff my face to fight whatever is bothering me atm.
Hope everyone is doing okay, even though its monday 🌟
[Discussion] September 18th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 18 07:04:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70uulf/september_18th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What is a decision you made today?
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! September 18, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Sep 18 06:14:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70ulf7/weekly_stats_update_september_18_2017/
---
This is the weekly status thread for September 18, 2017.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! September 18, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Sep 18 06:14:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70ule5/daily_food_diary_september_18_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 18, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] Does anyone not like food anymore? Taste feels foreign to me
/u/LivelyGhost [5'6" | CW: 141 | GW: 111 | -23 lbs]
Created: Mon Sep 18 03:48:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70tygv/does_anyone_not_like_food_anymore_taste_feels/
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I don't know how to articulate this well, so apologies in advance for that.
I still get hungry, I'll still binge to get that sweet, sweet mix of a serotonin spike and self harm, and I can still physically taste the food and I know when food objectively tastes good or bad. But I just don't really enjoy the textures or tastes anymore; eating feels so robotic. It's all the same flavors anyways, I'm not pleasantly surprised anymore. I could try a thousand cuisines or dishes and it wouldn't necessarily be a good experience for me, but it also wouldn't feel bad (unless you know, I become a guilty over calories). There's only so many flavors and I'm just tired.
I wish I didn't have to eat, not just because of calories anymore, but because eating makes me feel so alien. I don't even enjoy food anymore, so anytime I can't stop eating it makes me feel even more like a robot, but a miserable one. Eating is either a robotic action or it's self harm at this point. My tongue tastes but I don't. Eating is no pleasure when everything tastes grey.
[Thinspo] [Male Thinspo] Akos Sogor
/u/95CHOI [M20 / -230lbs]
Created: Mon Sep 18 03:02:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70tsii/male_thinspo_akos_sogor/
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https://imgur.com/a/POGvk
[Rant/Rave] stress binges
/u/pumpkin_boots [H:163cm | SW: 74 | CW: 66kg | GW: 48kg | BMI: 25.52 | Age: 22F]
Created: Mon Sep 18 02:40:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70tpmp/stress_binges/
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ugh i have so much assessment work due in the next 5 days and i just can't stop eating legit all i did today when i was "studying" was eat a bunch of crap food without doing any work. i'm at my lowest weight right now but i just know i'm going to put it all back on again..
i got my SO to change my steam password so i couldn't spend all day playing games but i've just been on reddit and lazing around stuffing my fat face instead.
/rant
[Discussion] When I feel like I'm getting fat I just stop eating for a day or so. Otherwise I eat anything I want. I call it "intermittent anorexia"
/u/ThermalAnvil [15 lbs lost]
Created: Mon Sep 18 02:13:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70tmdu/when_i_feel_like_im_getting_fat_i_just_stop/
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Reading that makes my blood boil. There's a weird subculture to those that are into "fasting" and even though it's used as a diet method, they correlate it with anorexia. Fasting can/is used with ED, but it doesn't mean if you fast you have an ED, and it shouldn't be treated as a pick up when you want version of anorexia.
When I feel like I'm getting fat I just stop eating for a day or so. Otherwise I eat anything I want. I call it "intermittent anorexia"
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 18 02:09:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70tlua/when_i_feel_like_im_getting_fat_i_just_stop/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/70rtry/intermittent_fasting_promotes_white_adipose/dn5hwt0/
[Discussion] What clothing items do you look forward to wearing, once you've hit your gw?
/u/incognitointodrama
Created: Mon Sep 18 02:03:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70tl2u/what_clothing_items_do_you_look_forward_to/
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I know similar questions have probably been asked before a thousand times but these are my favorite threads so I'm starting a new one ☺
For me it's
- over the knee boots (look unintentionally slutty on everyone with less (or more? I mean legs thicker) than tiny legs 😔)
- ruffles! Lots of them! I'm a very busty individual so i can only hope once i reach my gw I'll be tiny enough to wear a cute ruffled sweater
- a puffy coat (the ones that are not fake fur but not real fur, just like super puffy kinda-fur-looking fabric, maybe in a colour like light pink or blue )
- skinny jeans with everything oversized on top
- tennis skirts (i don't play tennis but they are so cute I'd actually pick up tennis just to have a reason to wear one -- if my legs ever look presentable enough)
[Rant/Rave] How is it possible for people to diet without going full ED?
/u/Funktionierende [25F | 5'2" | CW131.2lbs | SW185lbs | GW100lbs | BMI24]
Created: Mon Sep 18 02:02:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70tkyx/how_is_it_possible_for_people_to_diet_without/
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I just don't get it.
It always starts out innocent for me - *I just want to lose some weight, I'll start counting calories. Wow, I'm eating a lot. No wonder I'm so fat. I'm going to cut that down to 1400. No, I'm not seeing results. I'm going to cut down to 1200. Not fast enough. 1000.* Next thing I know, I'm fasting for days or even weeks at a time, living on meal replacement and cauliflower, working out constantly, and stuffing my fingers down my throat whenever I inevitably binge.
How do people do it!? Seriously, dieting effectively requires you to be obsessive about what you eat. And being obsessive about what you eat is ED. I don't understand how people can diet without going off the deep end.
Counting calories, exercising, all that - the only people I know who do this successfully and maintain a low/healthy weight manage to do so by *basing their entire life around it*. The girls I know who are tiny? Yeah, they weigh every almond they eat. The guys I know who are ripped? They spend four hours a day at the gym. And those people, the ones who diet eternally or exercise constantly, that's their whole personality. All they talk about, all they are. Everyone else, everyone I know who lives a semblance of a "normal" life, they are all fat. When I try to live a normal life, I'm fat. How is it normal to be fat?
I guess I just don't understand the line between being healthy and being disordered when it comes to weight management, because it seems like everyone I know falls on one end of the spectrum or the other - obese, or counting the calories in the air they breathe. *Where do we draw the line?*
Sorry, I'm super hungry and kind of going crazy here.
There's a song for how my week has been going 🙃
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 18 01:34:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70thfs/theres_a_song_for_how_my_week_has_been_going/
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http://imgur.com/NPs3ADv
[Intro] Salutations.
/u/tuesdoll [5'4" | cw: 90 | ugw: 75lbs]
Created: Mon Sep 18 01:29:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70tgu5/salutations/
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I’m Tues. I am a 26-year-old female who was diagnosed with EDNOS (now OSFED) at 16-years-old, but – after much research and consult with a therapist– I now know that I fit the DSM-5’s criteria for Anorexia Nervosa.
I have lurked r/proED off and on, because I just feel incapable of connecting with those around me. I’m just looking for understanding people to connect with and I hope I find that here.
I am currently taking a break from college, but I am working on improving my grades and getting some other core classes out of the way at community college, so I may eventually transfer to Texas A&M University and attend their program to become a veterinarian.
I'm currently making general changes to become an ethical vegan (don't worry, I'm not going to judge anyone for eating meat or get preachy about it) starting with some dietary and simple lifestyle changes. I am currently in the process of moving back to my home state of Texas from my current residence in North Carolina, so I'm mostly studying various aspects of general and ethical veganism, but once I move back to Texas I plan to really dive into living a vegan lifestyle. For the record, I actually tend to eat more when eating vegan so this doesn't have to do with my eating disorder.
I have an elliptical that kicks my butt, but I'm also starting to do yoga and Pilates, because I had been looking for an exercise regime I could truly commit to for years that I can do at home with little to no extra equipment needed.
Well, I think that's enough about me.
Feel free to ask me any questions though!
Take care,
Tues
P.S. I'm looking to get back into using Peach. If you use Peach too, please share your username with me. My username is @tuesdoll.
[Rant/Rave] Cucumbers are honestly the best
/u/Pinkdiamondsx
Created: Mon Sep 18 01:27:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70tghg/cucumbers_are_honestly_the_best/
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You can make them change to any flavor you want, it doesnt clash with anything cuz its basically tasteless. I love spicing them up or adding onion powder to it (btw onion powder doesnt have added sugar to it right? It makes everything amazing so i am getting suspicious).
[Intro] The Introduction of Tues
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 18 01:18:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70tf9u/the_introduction_of_tues/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Feel good, positive vibes and silver linings thread...
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Mon Sep 18 01:09:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70tdyq/feel_good_positive_vibes_and_silver_linings_thread/
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On mobile flair as discussion Maybe or rant rave i don't know I wish I could flair on mobile..
I know I did a similar thread a few weeks ago but wanted to do another for the uplifting nature it provibes to both myself and the community so here goes. I think we all get down sometimes and tend to dwell on what isn't going right so this thread is about recognizing those silver lining and may be little positives in our lives.
I will do a little prompt bellow but feel free to just share whatever you feel like and do as many or as little as you would like. Let's try and find those silver linings and be wonderful to one another. You are all lovely beautiful souls.
1. Three things you like about your body right now.
2.Last activity that made you smile or feel content.
3. Last thing (doesn't have to be activity more abstract) that made you smile or feel content
4. Last compliment you received and how it made you feel.
5. If you could eat something right now and have it not make you feel bad what would it be?
Last thing. This thread comes with a few simple directions. Go to the nearest mirror, smile and recite these words.
"Hello body and (name) thank you for continuing to function, I want you to know that you are beautiful and have value to the world. You are a unique and beautiful soul and whether you believe it or not at least one stranger on the internet believe so. Continue to function and sustain me in my life no matter what I do. I love you."
I will post my reply in the comments.
Be wonderful to each other.
Love
Willow
[Discussion] What would be your ideal height?
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 112.8 | GW: 105 | M/15]
Created: Mon Sep 18 00:51:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70tbh6/what_would_be_your_ideal_height/
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[Rant/Rave] I really really need to vent
/u/SomethingsGottaHave
Created: Mon Sep 18 00:49:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70tb7q/i_really_really_need_to_vent/
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I really need to vent. My roommate is driving me absolutely crazy. I've b/p'ed for the first time ever twice in one night because of stress.
Yes, I realize this is completely under my control. But he has no boundaries! And it's triggering.
For some background, if you care (it's ok if you don't),I moved across the country in with my boyfriend eventually we wound up with his "recently" divorced friend as a roommate. (Recently means two years ago. Also he moved on a few months late. That's another looong story). Let me say I did not want to live with this guy but my boyfriend felt bad for him and eventually I gave in.
For one, he doesn't take no as an answer. When I say that, I mean it. He will. Not. Take. No. For an answer. It's ridiculous. We say he can't use something we bought but he uses it anyway. Tonight what set me over the edge was him using my chopsticks. Granted they were in the kitchen. But they were hidden and he saw me order them specially for me and he never used chopsticks before. He used them tonight and that just made me realize that I have to keep EVERYTHING in my room if I don't want it to be used. I know I left it out in the kitchen but I honestly thought they wouldn't be touched. He's broken my dishes before. He's eaten my food. I just don't know what to do. Because he doesn't think I'm being serious when I say he can't use/eat something of mine.
I'm so stressed out I binged so much. Didn't like it. Purged and then binged again. And will probably purge again.
This has been building up. I'm so frazzled I probably didn't articulate myself very well. I just need to vent about how much my roommate sucks. My boyfriend barely says anything and it's his friend. I hate hate hate coming home. Even my bedroom isn't safe. I can hear him wherever I go. I feel exhausted. Like wherever I go I'm not safe.
I probably sound like a complete bitch but I'm exhausted and have no safe space. I often fantasize about leaving and buying a van and just traveling and sleeping in the van. No strings attached.
So yea that's my rant. I just feel like I'm going crazy. He sucks so much...
[Rant/Rave] Going home for holidays plus a sick thought I'm having
/u/CandidTriceratops [5'5'' | 195.6 | 32.45 | -29.4lbs | M]
Created: Mon Sep 18 00:44:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70talh/going_home_for_holidays_plus_a_sick_thought_im/
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I'm planning in october about a month from now to go see my family and friends for the holidays (thanksgiving in Canada). But last time I visited I was smaller and in control, this time my mental illnesses are out of control, I'm fat, and I'm restricting.
I want to show them all that I'm losing the weight again and being "healthy". They know nothing about weight loss anyways so won't suspect that 40lbs in 2 months isn't normal. I wish I had more time to be smaller but maybe next time it can be a surprise when I'm smaller than I was.
Other than that I've been having this really sick thought that even I want to dismiss but no matter what it keeps coming back. I live with my boyfriend and his mom, his mom is on chemo and can barely keep any food down. She is morbidly obese but I still know she is losing weight and I feel competition for some reason? I feel so disgusting for thinking this way.
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] is this actually possible?? 10 pounds?!
/u/Ohhisee
Created: Mon Sep 18 00:31:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70t8sr/rant_is_this_actually_possible_10_pounds/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Fucked up ED goals...a discussion and a rant rave.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Mon Sep 18 00:29:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70t8gp/fucked_up_ed_goalsa_discussion_and_a_rant_rave/
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On mobile flair as rant rave or something or discussion thanks mods.
So I know this disorder is one of deception and distortion of reality. Sometimes we make goals or aspirations that may or not be realistic. So here are mine. If anyone else wants to share out solidarity or to comment to make myself or anyone else feel better thatd be cool.
We are all wonderful and sometimes it takes others to notice because we can't see our own value.
Without further ado( don't know how to spell.)
- have a flat stomach so I can rock a pierces belly button.
-wear low cut shirts and not feel self conscious of my torso and have a prominent collarbone
-wear small clothes from men's, women's and juniors section.
-be a size 0 or smaller (not sure how possible this is for a 5'9" biological male
-be skinnier than most girls
-be thinner than my younger athletic brother
-wear skinny jeans and actually look skinny
-only need to eat smaller portions and have others question whether I have an ED.
-be hyper sensitive to sweets and sugar
- have other be jealous of me.
- have people be repulsed by me or actually attracted to me.
- be scouted to be a model (totally not realistic at all but I can dream. Most models are teenagers and I'm 25 so probably not going to happen.)
- be able to wear high fashion/ avante garde/ androgenous/ feminine clothes and look put together...pretty much wear whatever I want.
-actually have people believe I have an ED and give a damn about me.
- not binge or purged and remain thin or underweight.
- have a BMI 18 or bellow...probably closer to 16 or 17.
So yeah I guess a lot of my goals are vaine or selfish but maybe I'm not the only one...
Willow
[Goal] I've NEVER water fasted before, today, after binging for a month, I fasted for a whole day. Around food and everything! May seem like a small accomplishment, but I'm super excited.
/u/petitewinter [5'7.5" | Fat | -9lbs | Female]
Created: Mon Sep 18 00:08:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70t5hx/ive_never_water_fasted_before_today_after_binging/
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I'm just so excited! I didn't want to eat the entire day, despite being so hungry. This has literally never happened before. I can't wait to reach my goal weight. I even had an apple in front of my desk for two hours and didn't take a bite. You guys, I can finally actually fast and lose the weight. I finally did it 😭😭😭
This is such a huge accomplishment to me, but I can't tell anyone I know irl. Thanks for reading my rant.
[Rant/Rave] Does anyone else constantly go from fat to thin?
/u/myautism
Created: Mon Sep 18 00:07:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70t5a0/does_anyone_else_constantly_go_from_fat_to_thin/
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At the start of 2016 I weighed my most. I lost around 35 kgs in 6 months. Managed to maintain that weight loss until April this year, where I have since put on 15 kgs so far.
For the past decade I've gone from fat to thin, fat to thin, fat to thin, fat to thin... you get the point.
[Rant/Rave] My life is c/sing in the Walmart parking lot
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 17 23:56:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70t3kf/my_life_is_csing_in_the_walmart_parking_lot/
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[removed]
[Intro] intro/an end to the binges.
/u/skeletalstarlet [🌙 5'6f | cw: 129 | 20.8 | gw: 112 | gbmi: 18 🌙]
Created: Sun Sep 17 23:51:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70t2xd/introan_end_to_the_binges/
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hello lovely people ♡
i lurk this subreddit like a fiend on my real account so i figured i'd finally create a separate account so i can contribute to this amazing community.
i used to be a health obsessed, 112lb long distance runner.
a few years ago, i started really struggling with my mental health, and so my doctor decided to put me on Zoloft.
this medication transformed me into the binge monster i am today.
i started Zoloft in june of 2013 and haven't been able to stop binging to cope to this day.
i'm now in a completely different mental state and on a (now) great cocktail of meds for anxiety and depression.
i moved this summer, i'm living and going to school in my favorite place on earth, i'm free of my depression and my anxiety has gotten so so much better, but guess what won't stop? THE BINGING.
i've done it to numb myself from feeling anything for so long now that i feel like i've missed out on so much of my life, enjoying being young and hot and loving fashion the way i do deep down inside because i'm too afraid of looking fat to wear the clothes i really want to wear. enjoying being who i am without the layers of extra fat to make me want to hide.
i've been on myproana, but i've never seen anything like the incredible kindness, empathy, and support i see you guys showing each other on this subreddit.
i feel more than ready to leave behind the binging, the constant misery, and i'm ready to finally get back to where my body was before my life went to shit.
i found out today i gained 7lb in the last two weeks.
i'm heartbroken, and disgusted, and even though i still feel numb from my binge today, i need a change.
i can't wait on fresh motivation to get me going back on the wagon again.
it's not going to be easy though. not by a long shot.
but i think everyday i can find support here, it might be easier than doing it alone.
starting with 800cals a day, 1,500 on workout days. we'll see how it goes!
cheers to day one ♡
[Rant/Rave] I ate at a restaurant earlier
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 112.8 | GW: 105 | M/15]
Created: Sun Sep 17 23:48:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70t2hf/i_ate_at_a_restaurant_earlier/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Doctor said I have a week to lose a kg
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 17 23:27:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70sz75/doctor_said_i_have_a_week_to_lose_a_kg/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Eating so much more after a restriction period. Afraid because I know I'm gaining, but it isn't stopping me.
/u/sighsless [5'6 | CW:128.4 | 20.81 | idk]
Created: Sun Sep 17 23:25:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70sytc/eating_so_much_more_after_a_restriction_period/
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I was doing so well restriction-wise, lost quite a bit, still had energy, and I thought I was immune to the refeeding (or whatever it's called) that seems to follow restriction for some. I thought I'd never get hungry. I was working out consistently. Then everything changed right after I hit a new LW. What maybe did it was an injury that got in the way of my workouts. Slowly my depression worsened and the hunger returned. I started a job that I wanted to feel awake for. I thought food would help, but somehow once I started eating it was hard to stop. Even when my stomach felt full. My brain still wanted food, and I would listen.
That restriction period came after a long stint of eating and eating and eating. My mental health struggles left me dissociated and unaware of the amounts of food I was really eating. Before that I hadn't restricted in a while.
This time restriction felt new, even though it wasn't. I felt powerful and smart and energized. I received compliments and liked how my clothes started to hang awkwardly and loosely on my body. I loved numbers, but kept the numbers secret, the food scale secret, the scale itself a secret.
When it all fell apart this time I still measured, constantly disappointed in myself but not doing much to change it. This time I'm watching myself, I measure the loads of food I consume. Each time I know how disgustingly much I'm eating yet I still eat it. Less frequently I c/s because I know I'm eating much more than I need. Stomach in pain but still my brain is wanting.
Lately I am passive. It's the only explanation for why I am still counting calories even when they are excessive. I feel a combination of anxiety and excitement as I scarf down more food. I am pretty sure my hunger signals are broken. I wish I could still restrict and feel that high once more.
Yesterday at a party a few people I hadn't seen in a while kept calling me "thin" and "skinny," but I know it's because they last saw me at an overweight BMI. More than anything their comments scared me, because I know I've gained a tiny bit since my LW, and I know if I keep this up I will gain more.
I don't have a goal. I just want control again.
Thank you if you made it through my ramble. All of you are amazing and so helpful. I rarely make posts of my own and if I do I often delete them. I'm scared of sharing myself online, but today I really needed to let this out. I have nowhere else to.
[Other] low cal drinks at Starbucks?
/u/coffeebean27
Created: Sun Sep 17 23:04:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70svm5/low_cal_drinks_at_starbucks/
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I'm craving something from there but all I can think about are how sweet and fat most of the drinks are. Preferably something that's cold or cheap. I'm not too picky.
[Goal] Natalia Dyer from Stranger Things
/u/bagofhair666 [Height 5'3" | CW 120 | GW 105 | GenderF]
Created: Sun Sep 17 22:08:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70sm4g/natalia_dyer_from_stranger_things/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I just ate at a restaurant
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 17 21:51:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70siy4/i_just_ate_at_a_restaurant/
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[removed]
[Other] Fitbit just needs a "i fucked up" button
/u/notsohappycarrot
Created: Sun Sep 17 21:35:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70sgcq/fitbit_just_needs_a_i_fucked_up_button/
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No, Fitbit, I don't know how many calories were in that entire bag of chips & all that ice cream. yes, it was over my budget. So much for that 3 pound weight loss :(
How do you guys count a binge?
[Rant/Rave] DAE "compete" with people who don't even have the same starting weight/weight loss goals as you?
/u/tinywolfxo [5'4"|CW 125.8|HW 162|GW 103| F]
Created: Sun Sep 17 21:24:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70secp/dae_compete_with_people_who_dont_even_have_the/
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So I decided to lose about 60 pounds at the start of January. My fiancé's girl cousins, we'll call them A, B, and C, all decided to lose weight/ get in shape too.
Cousin A was already pretty fit, but she has a natural big build/ tall muscular type body and I know her personal goals are to be a bodybuilder, which just makes me 😬, but more power to ya!
(Because I want to be the tiniest one anyway and she wants to look like hulk).
Cousin B is just over weight, she used to be really thin but now is really chubby, borderline just plain fat. I thought she was going to be my main competition (though she's also taller than me and I still knew I would be the smallest), bc she was working out, eating healthy at the beginning of the year. Well now my mother in law tells me that she's actually gained more weight instead of losing it (which made me slightly happy because I'm a little shit).
Cousin C was the biggest for sure, at least 300 pounds at like 5'7" ish. She has lost 100 pounds since January and I'm jealous, even though I know that if I lost 100 pounds I'd probably be dead or close to it. I'm more jealous I think because, while I've lost a bunch of weight and people have noticed and congratulated me, it's not as impressive as her and she gets so much attention for it. She's always been cute, but now she's really cute, even though she's still like 200ish pounds and says she only wants to lose 20 more pounds, which would make her still weigh way more than my goal weight. And I think I'm also mad because since she was so big, the weight just freaking fell off her, she doesn't even exercise!!! While I'm over here starving or burning 600+ cals a day to makeup what I eat.
I still feel like I will have beat them all when I hit my goal weight though, but till then, I'm still in competition/jealousy mode. I better be 103 pounds by Christmas, so they can all see it, I swear to glob.
Idk what the point of this post is other than to vent and show off what a petty person I am lol.
And maybe find others that can relate.
[Discussion] Low Carb/Fat phobia? (like fat in foods lol)
/u/sp0ngeb0bcirclepants
Created: Sun Sep 17 20:58:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70s9m9/low_carbfat_phobia_like_fat_in_foods_lol/
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Is anyone else all or nothing with fats? I either can't have any fats or can't have any carbs but find it hard to eat both. I am either low carb ("keto") or low fat.
Guess I'm just curious if others struggle with all or nothing in other ways of their eating other than just the amount.
Cheers!
[Intro] Going on a hardcore restriction on this very to-be-stressful week!
/u/eatacheeto [5' SW: 127 | CW:120 I GW: 99 | 23F]
Created: Sun Sep 17 20:20:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70s2gu/going_on_a_hardcore_restriction_on_this_very/
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Hi all,
This weekend I let myself a little bit over calories since Friday and i'm pushing for some change by the end of this week. Hoping to fast for at least 3/6 days until saturday. wish me luck. i hope that i can achieve what i set out to do.
this week will be rough. I need an accountability buddy
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 17 20:09:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70s05w/this_week_will_be_rough_i_need_an_accountability/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Welp, I've hit rock bottom. My current binge phase is now starting to scare me.
/u/pedaling-backwards [20F | 104 | 5'2]
Created: Sun Sep 17 20:04:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70rz77/welp_ive_hit_rock_bottom_my_current_binge_phase/
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I made a post earlier about how I've been continuously binging these past 2 or so weeks due to failed attempts at eating maintenance.
Well, tonight I actually started to get scared from it. I ended up fucking up early in the morning today, and so I basically blew the day away like I've done countless times before from binges over the years. Nothing new. However, this time I ate for hours and hours and hours and *hours.* Typically during binges I'd feel some sort of pain or discomfort, but not today. I just feel hollow, like I could eat forever. I don't even know how much I've consumed, but it was by far one of the biggest binge days I've ever had and I'm not a weak binger. I finally pulled the plug on it a few minutes ago when I realized I chugged down nearly the entirety of a jug of fucking *maple syrup.* My throat is burning right now and my heart is racing out of my chest from all the junk and sugar that I consumed, I'm actually scared to go to sleep tonight.
Fuck trying to maintain or find a happy medium, starting tomorrow I'm going back to what I do best which is heavy restricting because I can't keep going on like this.
I'm sorry, I just needed to vent because tonight scared the hell out of me and it's not like I could vent to anyone irl about this. I really hope I can put a stop to this binging soon, this is absolute fucking hell.
[Rant/Rave] when a plate of cucumber slices feels like a binge
/u/tinybites [24F | cw: 141.6 | gw: 115 | -43.6 lbs]
Created: Sun Sep 17 20:00:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70rygh/when_a_plate_of_cucumber_slices_feels_like_a_binge/
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[removed]
[Discussion] How do you all measure yourselves?
/u/m_inimal
Created: Sun Sep 17 19:53:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70rww5/how_do_you_all_measure_yourselves/
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I was thinking about this today -- it's so interesting how to some people, the number on the scale really matters, when for others it's BMI, or just the way you look, the way clothes fit, etc. There are so many different metrics we use to measure whether we feel "good enough" to ourselves.
I know for me, I go solely by body checks, both visual and tactile. I look at myself in the mirror and notice the changes week by week. And I constantly pinch my thighs, touch my stomach, squeeze my cheeks etc. to get a sense of my fat. But I don't actually own a scale, so I can't weigh myself or measure my BMI. I guess I have a tape measure, so I could use that around my waist if I really wanted to, but I guess part of me feels that if I get to a point where I LOOK ok, only then would I not be terrified to know the numbers associated with my body. If and when I do learn my weight/BMI, I want to be pleasantly surprised by the numbers, not pressured or scared into thinking they need to be lower.
What about you guys?
[Other] For anyone else who feels like it's "not fast enough"...
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~60lbs | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Sun Sep 17 19:49:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70rvws/for_anyone_else_who_feels_like_its_not_fast_enough/
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Any progress is still just that... progress. Don't give up. Even if it's just .1 down or up or whatever your goal, it's a step in the right direction.
You're gonna get there one day.
[Discussion] What is your calorie eating limit usually?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 17 19:35:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70rt6j/what_is_your_calorie_eating_limit_usually/
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[deleted]
[Other] Feeding the binge monster pico de gallo
/u/ilikereadingyourstuf [F: 5'3 | CW 166 | 29.41]
Created: Sun Sep 17 19:32:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70rslh/feeding_the_binge_monster_pico_de_gallo/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] When you want to fast, but throwing away food goes against your morals.
/u/dancingblobfish
Created: Sun Sep 17 19:31:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70rscq/when_you_want_to_fast_but_throwing_away_food_goes/
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Does anyone else think this way? I constantly hear my mom talking about how we don't have much money which makes me feel like I have to eat the food that she buys. I get so much guilt for throwing out food when I'm fasting and I'm torn between loosing weight and not wasting money.
[Help] getting back into restricting routine
/u/coffeeanddietcokee [5'9'' | 137.3 | 20.? | GW5 135 | GW6 130]
Created: Sun Sep 17 19:29:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70rrzm/getting_back_into_restricting_routine/
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[removed]
[Other] My manager is trying to "eat like me"
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Sun Sep 17 18:58:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70rm0s/my_manager_is_trying_to_eat_like_me/
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He wants to lose weight (he is average/slim build) and also be healthy. He thinks I have all the answers and is thinking of going vegetarian like me (which is awesome) but it's only because he thinks it makes you lose. This is making his gf mad.......
Background ( this is a small business owned by him and his long term gf) so I don't feel any of this is out of line. It's not my career job just a small part time for extra money. Him and I get along well blah blah
I've been in such a low place and binging so hard and this has been so triggering. I never talk about my weight and have been really struggling. My flair is more around 112 I bet now....idk.
He used to comment that I was so small and needed to gain weight but not anymore really.
He started a liquid cleanse today and has been going on how he hasn't eaten for 2 days allllllllll day. I told him that wasn't healthy but in reality wish it was me. That is my goal for the week, liquid and salad (I did not share this).
I told him to track in MFP and just exercise.
Ughhhhhh he just keeps talking about liquid diets,fasting,being vegetarian and I'm just freaking out!
I feel I'm not even disordered anymore, maybe I'm a fake and cured this past month.
All I'm doing is eating, I hate my body !!!
Does anyone know why this happens
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 17 18:01:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70r9zs/does_anyone_know_why_this_happens/
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[removed]
[Discussion] i love seeing my friends gain weight
/u/nervous_nandu [5'4" | CW: 125.6 | LW/GW: 98| WL: 19.4 | 19F]
Created: Sun Sep 17 17:51:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70r7zb/i_love_seeing_my_friends_gain_weight/
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hahaha its so fucked up i know but there's gotta be someone on here who relates
edit: ok hey this got more attention than i thought it would. i just want to say its not like i get off to people getting over weight or hating their bodies. its more about seeing people put on freshman 15 or filling out their skinny bodies after high school. i could never thrive off of people being unhappy.
[Other] ED-related pinterest boards?
/u/aetolica [5'4" | F | 31]
Created: Sun Sep 17 17:05:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70qywc/edrelated_pinterest_boards/
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Anyone have a Pinterest board related to ED stuff they want to share? Recovery, pro-ED, thinspo, whatever?
[Rant/Rave] 2kg in a week
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Sun Sep 17 16:04:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70qmgk/2kg_in_a_week/
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Last week I was 79kg
This week I'm 81kg
I'm aware I haven't had a BM and I had popcorn before bed that is loaded with salt and therefore I'm retaining water.
BUT it's still hurtful. I don't even know who to aim my anger at. The fat? The BM that just won't come? My scales? My inability to remember not to eat before weigh ins?
I'm just exhausted.
[Rant/Rave] feeling really irritated. just a bunch of things on my chest.
/u/aikama
Created: Sun Sep 17 15:44:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70qi4z/feeling_really_irritated_just_a_bunch_of_things/
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been a lurker for a while and finally broke and repurposed an old account to post this. i really should be studying rn but I'm just so damn irritated for no apparent reason and can't focus. sorry for wall of text/list of super random things that i needed to get out :/
1. my 2 roommates are so fucking thin and gorgeous and it makes me so jealous and irrationally angry. i'm the shortest and the heaviest and every time i feel a little bit happy about my stomach getting flatter or something i look at them and i hate myself.
2. they're closer friends than they are to me (or at least it feels like that bc they talk more and they have more similar personalities, like to party and go out whereas i just want to sit home and play video games). i'm the "smart" one (they think i can do anything just bc google/like learning/willing to tinker with things??) i fucking hate when they only come to me when they need help. why do i have to help you when you're thin and beautiful and can probably survive off of your looks? and i hate that i feel that way but seriously one of them is loaded and has no common sense/is oblivious and ugh i don't understand why do i have to help her when she's already so far ahead?
3. one of them has been eating more now that we have a kitchen + i bought her a bunch of frozen asian pork buns (bc she asked) and occasionally complains/mentions like "omg i eat so much i'm gonna gain so much weight" and looks at me all concerned. i just have to suck it up and say like haha dw you'll be fine! but inside there's half of me that says yes gain weight so that i won't be the fattest one, and the other half is estimating her cals and thinking girl you just ate my entire day's worth of calories and then some
4. today the other roommate was really hungover. i went to bed late and got up to go to an org event and bought some groceries on the way back, including a pint of halo top as a treat. i really wanted peanut butter but they were out so i got sea salt caramel (delicious btw), and when i came home and ate a spoonful (bc im a pig) she saw and asked for some and i was like sure i'll give you a spoonful but she's like no holdup i'll get my own and proceeds to just scoop a quarter of it into her own bowl. on one hand thank you for taking some of my calories but on the other hand 1) i've had <100 today so damn straight i want ice cream, 2) that was my consolation for not getting to talk to that cute guy + orgo studying, 3) that shit ain't cheap???
5. ok moving on from my roommates but i want to get a scale to weigh myself because i haven't in 6 months and i have this desperate need to know how much i weigh. but i'm scared that it's going to send me further down the rabbit hole, like in my head i'm not //really// sick or have an ED bc i'm a fat fuck and i don't have a problem until i'm thin and counting pounds instead of just cals. i'm also competitive asf (academics + gaming) and i know i'd turn it all into a race against the scale but also i just want to be tiny dammit
6. on that note part of why i can rationalize that i'm fine is that i don't count cals nearly as strictly as a lot of other people here (which i wish i could do), i just sort of eyeball quantities and then estimate my cals and usually round up. i went from aiming for 1300 to 1200 to 1000 to skipping my usual 300 cal breakfast just as a safety net when i know full well i skip lunch most days too so oops guess i'll just have a generous 500-600 dinner. my binges went from like 2000+ cals to maintenance (~1600) and i still hate myself for it.
7. why am i so obsessed with food all i do is think about what i'm gonna eat (or not eat)
8. i just want to fucking concentrate on studying right now. orgo and econ are about to whoop my ass but i'm not gonna take that shit from this crappy school when my hs stats were ivy level /whole new can of salt here
9. my art class is straight up 4.5hrs of standing at an easel and i love art but standing for that long makes me dizzy and want to fall over and that makes me not like art.
10. why can't i just be a tiny little studious gamer girl who forgets to eat all the time why do i have to eat ahhhhhh
/endrant okay i promise there's not nearly that much tension between me and my roommates as it might seem. we get along decent, and i actually do like them for the most part, it's just recently that they've been really triggering (gah i hate using that term but it's so accurate). like i'm emotionally very stable normally and idk if it's the binge/fast cycle i'm in rn or what that's making me so irritated these past few days. anyways thank you if you read through this at all, i just really needed to vent and hopefully get back to studying.
[Rant/Rave] I think someone was checking me out, which usually doesn't happen?
/u/lonas_ [6'00 | 145 | 20.86 | gw: 125 | M]
Created: Sun Sep 17 15:11:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70qaqp/i_think_someone_was_checking_me_out_which_usually/
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This week I went to The Mom's house to stay, as Irma had taken my power out for three days. Honestly though it's been a great week! As soon as I got to her place she made some excuse to bring the scale out and weigh herself, then casually called for me to come and Weigh Myself Too. Okay, shoes come off, a silent prayer made that if i hate the number that God's lightning please strike me through the roof (leaving a relatively lightweight pile of ash standing where I did) and a scale stepped on.
145!! I felt pretty good, I hadn't weighed myself in so long just because it eats away at me whenever I don't like the number, so it was good to have the opposite happen. Too bad I spent the whole time I was there and went to two seperate buffets (two!) during my stay, once the first night, once today.
I don't want to assume this girl was checking me out, like she worked there and might've just applied a blank staring-into-nothing look that happened to fall in line with my eyes, I don't really know, but I caught her eye twice seperately, once when I was going to grab some dessert (I got nervous and only grabbed two tiny square pieces of cake on a full plate, haha), and once when mom and I were heading out. And she was smiling, but like that's the thing that every server does and doesn't really indicate anything I don't think. Maybe it was just something in the look she had when we crossed eyes, or how her eyes just kinda seemed to cross mine sort of expectantly. Anyway, she was pretty, had a nice smile, so it was sort of an ego boost, just the attention of it I suppose.
Had a good week.
How many of us have never been diagnosed?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 17 14:57:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70q7i4/how_many_of_us_have_never_been_diagnosed/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Guys i screwed up...
/u/fiyacht524 [5'6" |CW 54kg |BMI 19| GW:48kg| Female]
Created: Sun Sep 17 14:49:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70q5o4/guys_i_screwed_up/
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So earlier this week i finally went to an appointment with my Uni counselor, (not for ED, but for depression/anxiety lol). I only went because my BF said it would help, i hate talking to people about my feelings and thoughts.
ANYWAY, was sitting there scratching my neck (nervous tick) when she asks if i have any issues relating to eating. I asked why, she said it was just for a form she was filling out as it was my first ever appointment. I SAID YES, FOR GOD'S SAKE I FREAKING SAID YES!!!!!
She went on to ask me what issues i had, have i ever been treated for them (lol no). Then at the end she said we'd come back to the topic of eating next week.........
AAARRRGGGHH i did not go to her for treatment of my ED. I went so i don't feel overwhelmingly sad and anxious over nothing most days of the week. I am not sick enough or anywhere near my GW for treatment to start.
Can i just ignore her questions and try change the subject next week? Or am i screwed????
[Tip] Advice please??tips needed
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 17 14:38:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70q36n/advice_pleasetips_needed/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] recovery feels hopeless, so i'm back
/u/bombay- [5'9 | CW 160 | GW1 130 | 23.6 | 16F]
Created: Sun Sep 17 14:30:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70q16w/recovery_feels_hopeless_so_im_back/
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i deleted mfp when i decided i wanted to recover, but i'm redownloading it because i'm starting to think recovery is hopeless for me right now. i'm 16, my parents don't know, my mom also has an ed and is extremely triggering, my dad is constantly pushing food on me causing most of my binges, and the only person who i can really talk to is my therapist who doesn't specialize in eating disorders and i only see once every couple weeks. i think i'm just gonna give up and start restricting and hating myself again because its the only thing to really do. fuck it, i'll recover when i'm 18 if i'm still alive. 🙃
[Goal] gonna shoot for a 24hr fast!
/u/7376549 [male | 165.5cm | cw 62kg | gw 55kg | ]
Created: Sun Sep 17 14:28:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70q0qz/gonna_shoot_for_a_24hr_fast/
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(sorry if this is the wrong flair lol)
i'm mainly really just posting this as a way to hold myself accountable. i've been doing intermittent fasting (16:8 or 18:6 depending) for about a week now & it's going really well, so i'm gonna shoot for a 24hr fast lasting til 7pm tomorrow. my roommate is out til the morning & i'm out in the afternoon for class so i shouldn't have to explain myself.. which is honestly my biggest struggle when it comes to fasting cus she knows about my history of disordered eating (tho she thinks i'm recovered *lmao*)
intermittent fasting hasn't been too hard for me so far - feeling hungry in the mornings & knowing i have a set time in which to eat a set amount is actually super comforting to my control-freak ED brain haha. i am pretty ravenous by my usual eating time tho so i'm a little apprehensive about how i'll handle the extra few hours but.. it won't be the first time i've done 24hrs, just the first time in a while, so we'll see lol.
wish me luck!!
[Tip] Monster Munch and any variation is a God send!
/u/itscirclejerky [5'5 | CW: repulsive| 22.29 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 17 14:25:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70pzzw/monster_munch_and_any_variation_is_a_god_send/
---
I bought an off brand variation of Monster Munch the other day while shopping with my mum because I bought 'flamin' hot' while with a friend and offered her some, which she liked.
I checked that brands nutritional info and the 18g bags are 91 kcal, 92 kcal and 93 kcal as the highest for the three flavours.
I checked the actual Monster Munch website and the flavours are all 108 kcal per bag, which is 22g. I can go back to happily munching on crisps without sacrificing too much!
[Discussion] DAE put hot sauce on close to everything?
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 96ish |17.6ish| 20F]
Created: Sun Sep 17 14:06:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70pvkr/dae_put_hot_sauce_on_close_to_everything/
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I really have no idea why I do this. Maybe it's because hot sauce is a close to zero calorie way to make any bland food taste immediately better.
I have this weird idea in my head that hot sauce will increase my metabolism. It also helps me to stay away from purging because I don't want to destroy my insides.
Idk, hot sauce is definitely a safe food for me.
[Help] What does really help against cravings?
/u/kein-08-15
Created: Sun Sep 17 14:01:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70pucq/what_does_really_help_against_cravings/
---
Title says it all. I'm okay with being/ feeling hungry but what really fucking gets me every time are those cravings.
I have gained a lot of weight in the last 2 months and am now trying to loose it. But every like 3 days these goddamn cravings kick in and I binge.
What can I do to suppress/ fight them? When I've got cravings I can't concentrate on studying which is shit as well. I already don't have high cal foods at home but I still end up eating a whole lot of fruits or protein powder mixes or something like that which ends up in crashing my calorie goal. Help
[Rant/Rave] I hate that my friends try to normalize being overweight to make themselves feel better
/u/throwawayimanxious
Created: Sun Sep 17 13:48:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70prh5/i_hate_that_my_friends_try_to_normalize_being/
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My friends have always been bigger. Some of them by a little, some by a lot. They always try to normalize the extra weight by saying it's normal, but I know it isn't. It's so hard to restrict when everyone around me eats like three times what I do. I know I need to lose weight, but they always tell me I don't. Why would I ever listen to them when they CLEARLY aren't in control of their weight? One of my biggest friends just says that losing weight is impossible for someone like her and I am so skinny because of genetics. I want to slap her when she says that. I restrict like crazy and my weight yoyos a lot when I stop.
[Help] Anyone here take adderall? How much does it really suppress appetite ?
/u/throwgdjjbdyjj
Created: Sun Sep 17 13:44:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70pqe5/anyone_here_take_adderall_how_much_does_it_really/
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[removed]
All about ~health~ but my ed makes me want to be a smoker
/u/sp0ngeb0bcirclepants
Created: Sun Sep 17 13:10:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70piou/all_about_health_but_my_ed_makes_me_want_to_be_a/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] To restrict or not restrict
/u/coffeexsmokes [5'2" | 100 | -50 | 21F]
Created: Sun Sep 17 13:02:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70pgsy/to_restrict_or_not_restrict/
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So, I met a guy recently and we've been having a lot of fun. It's more of a "sex with a fringe of conversation" type relationship but that is ok with me. The thing is, it's super easy to restrict while with him because honestly we only go out for coffee and then spend the rest of our time erhm preoccupied. And I love it. But I'm supposed to be recovering, which means gaining a couple more (well a few more) pounds to my goal BMI.
I've already decided that I can't gain more weight, not while seeing someone. But now I'm torn between maintaining, or going back to restricting which is something I've been craving. And it would be sooooo easy to restrict again and be even tinier.
Anyway just ranting this out because once again I'm torn between my doiing what I want and doing what I should.
[Discussion] DAE get discouraged by not being facially pretty enough?
/u/Che789 [5'6'' | CW: 113 | GW: 98 | -3 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 17 12:46:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70pd49/dae_get_discouraged_by_not_being_facially_pretty/
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Sometimes I wonder why I even bother trying to have a perfect body when I'll never be truly beautiful. We are our faces. It's what people think of when they think of you as a person.
All of the thinspo models on this sub have symmetrical, beautiful heart shaped faces, and many of us can never look like them or be treated like them, regardless of how thin we are
The thing I always come back to is, at least being thin is better than nothing. But then I'll just have to live unsatisfied with myself in many other ways, forever...
[Rant/Rave] The only way I'm going to survive the holidays..
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 102.9 | 18.8 | -34 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 17 12:29:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70p9b0/the_only_way_im_going_to_survive_the_holidays/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Does anyone else get irrationally upset when they eat unplanned food but their total calorie count is still overall low?
/u/biscuitsisfluffy [5'4 | 148 lbs | -18]
Created: Sun Sep 17 12:28:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70p914/does_anyone_else_get_irrationally_upset_when_they/
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Normally I've been eating about 300 calories a day. Today I ate 600 and I'm genuinely so upset that I messed up. I feel so full which is making it worse. Can't purge because hub is home.
I can't even go out to exercise because I live in a rough area and he won't let me because it's dark out. Normally he's amazing and comes with me but he's thrown his back out so urghhh.
[Rant/Rave] Bf says he doesn't need me to lose weight as long as I am healthy but I feel like he subconsciously wants my body more when I am skinny. Does anyone else get that feeling?
/u/Pinkdiamondsx
Created: Sun Sep 17 12:21:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70p7fz/bf_says_he_doesnt_need_me_to_lose_weight_as_long/
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He is sweet and never showed disgust at my body when it was close to being overweight..but he just never wanted me in that way...it was painful mentally for me even though he said it was because he was stressed due to work...but I remember when I was skinny, he wanted me all the time..does anyone else experience this?
[Rant/Rave] I feel like I'm failing - a bleughhhh of emotions, feelings and thoughts
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 60kg | BMI 19.81 |- 12kg | GW 52kg | 24F]
Created: Sun Sep 17 12:08:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70p4nd/i_feel_like_im_failing_a_bleughhhh_of_emotions/
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One month ago, I reached my LW of 56.5kg. I felt amazing. I was felt skinnier, my thigh gap was more pronounced, my wrists were looking more delicate, my fitbit strap was on its tightest setting, and then for some reason it was just...binge fest. I was binging, then fasting, but obviously CICO worked its fucking magic. I was at 57, then 58, then 59, now 60.
I have gained 4kg in the space of a month and a half. I feel like such a failure. I don't have any element of control anymore. I had a therapy session to talk about my issues with men (and my issues with sleeping around), and my lack of control with food came up. My therapist made me feel so shit:
"Well, what stops you from dropping more weight until you're 6 stone?"
She's right you guys, I'm not sick. I'm clearly just an EDNOS wannabe, and I feel like I'm failing. I have such an unhealthy relationship with food. I can't just eat a slice of toast, it'll be another and another until the loaf of bread is gone and I just still feel empty.
People say they can't see that I've gained weight, but I know that they're lying. I can just feel the fat accumulating on my body and my jeans (W26) used to be loose, now they're slightly too tight and I think I've stretched them to fit over my colossal thighs.
When I was thinner I had so much more attention from men. I went out the other day and no one looked at me. It felt awful. In a few weeks I'll see the guy I fancied (and turned out to have a girlfriend...) and I don't want him to think "wow she let herself go". I want him to think "fuck, she's really hot and I missed out on a trick there."
I need to get back to it, I need to be skinny and I need to get rid of this last 8kg before December.
Tomorrow I'm starting back at the gym, I'm going to motivate myself, I'm going to weigh myself, I'm going to aim for 1200kcal initially after this binge fest so I don't feel like I'm losing out massively, I'm going to eat pre-packaged food with clear calorie counts on the front of the packet and apples. I'm going to factor in alcohol calories, I'm going to walk everywhere (no more being late for work and getting the bus in), I'm going to do it and I'm going to try and lose as much as I can within these next few weeks. I don't want to look like this anymore. I can't bear to feel like this glutton that can't control herself anymore.
[Help] Hit a plateau after a week, help? (Overweight)
/u/hmptrw
Created: Sun Sep 17 11:59:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70p2gt/hit_a_plateau_after_a_week_help_overweight/
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[removed]
[Intro] Hello/intro
/u/sourgummycandy [5'8 | 126 | GW 120 | -10lbs | F]
Created: Sun Sep 17 11:40:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70oy67/hellointro/
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I've had an ed since I was 13. I'm 29 now. I've struggled deeply with bulimia/anorexia/binge eating. The bulimia has been under control since I had my first child at 23. But the ed tendencies never go away. I weigh myself every single morning without fail and have done this for 6 years, every. Single. Day. But only once a day. In the morning after using the bathroom. No clothes. That is it. I know if I weigh myself more than that one time in the morning it will just drive me crazy.
I weigh 125 as of this morning. I had put on an extra 10 pounds about 2 years ago that I had been unable to take off. I finally took off that extra 10 pounds by getting back into the world of stimulants.
Oh btw I am a recovering addict and alcoholic. I've been clean from alcohol and opiates for almost 2 years. But the stimulants are a different story.
Nobody really knows I take stims. My husband doesn't know. We met in recovery 8 years ago and have been together since. We have been through relapse (opiates) and recovery multiple times. He's been clean for 2 years and I couldn't be prouder of him.
I found out I could get adderall from somebody in April, and ever since then I've gotten adderall at every chance I have gotten ( usually this means one 2 day long binge a month and one smaller 1 day mini binge every month). And also I take lipodrene (has 25mg ephedra extract I believe) and today I took bronkaid for the first time. Really I will just do anything to stay at 125 right now and not gain. Anything...I'm desperate.
I gain weight so ridiculously easily it is seriously depressing.
It never ceases to amaze me how
Incredibly easy it is to gain weight and how incredibly HARD it is to take weight off.
I've been lurking this sub for a while. You guys are literally the only people who get it!
I can't help but feel guilty for using stimulants because I know my husband would shit a brick if he knew. Anyway sorry this turned into a huge ramble. I hope you all have a great day
[Help] Anyone a Starbucks expert?
/u/JBL95
Created: Sun Sep 17 11:12:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70orou/anyone_a_starbucks_expert/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I got prescribed new medicine!!
/u/TummyRumblz [5'8" | CW: Larvitar | GW: clamperl | F]
Created: Sun Sep 17 11:07:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70oqmu/i_got_prescribed_new_medicine/
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I went to the doctor and got prescribed two medicines that do their job and kill my appetite!!!! I can eat a few bites of food and be full :0 it's only been a few days but I hope these symptoms last, from what I've read they do. I'm so excited. The only downside is a little drowsiness and brain fog, but it's worth it
[Discussion] DAE think that they're being really obvious
/u/helpisuseless
Created: Sun Sep 17 10:56:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70oo76/dae_think_that_theyre_being_really_obvious/
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Throwaway as my boyfriend is on Reddit.
So my boyfriend has no clue what's happening with me, I feel like I'm being so obvious.
He knows I'm trying to lose weight but has no idea how much exactly.
It's weird I'm more controlled when he's around and I barely eat anything and he doesn't notice at all.
He even helps by making me low calorie dinners!
Someone at work may have started noticing but it's so easy to pretend to have eaten already etc.
I hate how good of a liar I've become but it's weird how easy this is to hide, I guess it helps that we have separate working lives and long hours.
He's going away for a while soon and I'm afraid I'm going to lose control and binge without him here.
[Help] Every time I try and eat close to maintenance for the day or high restrict = binge. How can I consume more than 500 cals a day without suddenly feeling the need to eat 5000?
/u/pedaling-backwards [20F | 104 | 5'2]
Created: Sun Sep 17 10:40:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70okln/every_time_i_try_and_eat_close_to_maintenance_for/
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I finally reached my GW of 100 last month before going on this insane monster binge which made me gain ~5 pounds.
I'm best when I lose a lot of weight in short bursts -- aka sub 400 cals a day with moderate exercise for a couple of weeks. While I could certainly do that again to get back to 100, that won't teach me shit once I inevitably reach it again. I am trying to learn how to heavy restrict/eat close to maintenance so once I DO reach 100 again, I'm not going to just repeat the same mistakes. All I know how to do is starve or stuff my face, and I want to break that pattern. I want to reach my goals and actually be able to learn how to maintain so I can go out and live life again.
Yet, everytime I decide I'm *not* going to starve myself for the day and eat at or close to maintenance, food suddenly becomes the only thing on my mind. Instead of purposedly avoiding food on my severe restriction days, all I'm doing now is constantly thinking about food, looking up recipes, calculating my TDEE in losertown, wondering what my next meal time will be, etc. I'm always hungry, always craving various foods, always trying to plan out when I can next go to the grocery store to get a new meal I want to try. I've tried meal planning and prepping, I've tried tracking and not tracking in MFP, I've tried eating at only certain times or eating certain food groups. No matter what I try, I always cave once I plan a high restriction day.
And now that I have more leeway, I'm less strict with myself. At 400 cals a day, I can't eat another serving 'just cause.' On high restriction days, I adopt the 'eh, this won't hurt' and eat another helping or so since it'll 'still fit' into my range and before I know it I'm over my TDEE and suddenly I'm *waay* over my TDEE and by the end of the day I've eaten 3x my maintenance.
As it's currently going I can't even last more than a day with higher restriction without binging -- if I keep with this pattern, I'm going to keep gaining and gaining and that is the last thing I want to do.
Any advice or suggestions would be very helpful. :/
[Rant/Rave] Do I have to spell it out?
/u/Manko_Mochi [5'2" | CW:131 lbs | -4 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Sep 17 10:24:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70oh0d/do_i_have_to_spell_it_out/
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Tea
Coffee
Rice cakes
Peanut butter
Non-fat crackers
Slices of turkey
Tuna in water
One cheese stick
Coke Zero and cigarettes
Cauliflower rice and sriracha
Halo top
Pickles
Mustard
Broth
Hmmm...
Just *one* chocolate chip cookie
A few fries here and there
Can I have a little piece of your chocolate?
Peanut butter on white toast
One lemonade won't hurt
A bite of that brownie
A spoonful of that Ben & Jerry's
Candy from random offices
Birthday cake!
A handful of chips
A few bites of that donut
Fuck it.
Unlimited slices of pizza
20 piece McNuggets
Regular soda
All the chocolate
Pastas and bread
Large popcorn with butter
"Grazing"
Fast food at midnight
Binging on cereal at 3 am
All kinds of chips
Borderline alcoholism
This is how you fucking gain fat.
My brain doesn't seem to understand.
[Rant/Rave] Why am I like this... (aka a surprisingly good night)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 17 10:13:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70oemq/why_am_i_like_this_aka_a_surprisingly_good_night/
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[deleted]
[Thinspo] more dancer thinspo
/u/physics_chick
Created: Sun Sep 17 09:59:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70oba4/more_dancer_thinspo/
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https://i.imgur.com/IxuvwZ3.jpg
[Thinspo] Gemma Ward, my favorite thinspo
/u/i-have-8-nickels
Created: Sun Sep 17 09:48:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70o8um/gemma_ward_my_favorite_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/lcwwg6ggsgmz.jpg
[Other] When I'm bored I like to draw fruit
/u/NewEnglandAutumn [5'8 | 122 lbs | BMI 18.6 | GW: 115]
Created: Sun Sep 17 09:15:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70o1wb/when_im_bored_i_like_to_draw_fruit/
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https://i.redd.it/jqs518npmgmz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] pride comes before a binge phase
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1.5" | cw 155 | gw 145 | -15]
Created: Sun Sep 17 08:23:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70nqs2/pride_comes_before_a_binge_phase/
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[removed]
[Tip] For the people need to weigh themselves in the morning before taking in any fluids or food, but feel lethargic af if they dont have something to drink as soon as they wake
/u/Rhyanon [Who needs reasons when you have an ED?]
Created: Sun Sep 17 08:06:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70nnhg/for_the_people_need_to_weigh_themselves_in_the/
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Probs bc I eat low carb, I am really brain foggy and lethargic in the morning and it takes me longer than it should to do anything and get my shit together unless i'm hydrated. I also like to weigh myself in the morning after going to the loo, but get very anxious about what my weight 'actually' is if I eat or drink anything before using the scale.
I had a brainwave, though. Helpfully, the density of water is 1kg/l, making a 500ml bottle of water weigh almost exactly 1.12lb. So if I fill up a water bottle the night before and chug it when I wake, so long as I weigh myself as soon as drank the water I can just subtract a pound from what the scale says to correct the weight, and not be anxious.
idk i just thought it might help people that are in this kinda sitch too. If the 54g/0.12lb discrepency also bothers you, you can just weigh out 454ml exactly and pour that into the bottle, so you know you'll be drinking exactly a pound. Hope my brain vomit at least helps someone in a small way lol
[Rant/Rave] This shit is so lonely.
/u/crumpet9 [5'3 | cw: 103 | 21f]
Created: Sun Sep 17 07:48:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70nkn6/this_shit_is_so_lonely/
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Having an ED is just so, so lonely. Normally my outlets are reddit/peach but I broke my phone ~2 weeks ago and haven't been able to get it fixed/have been crazy busy so most of the day I'm without internet. I want so desperately to TALK about this with somebody. Maybe I need a therapist but I'm not sure I want to get better. My ex is the person I would vent to about my problems but I'm trying to do better at not emotionally depending on him
For instance, last night I was going to meet friends at a bar. I ended up running 45 minutes late because I had nothing to wear. Everything was too big. But instead of being happy I felt gross because everything was unflattering, and I still hate my body and now I can't even dress it??? It put me in the worst mood and I couldn't enjoy my time with my friends. As I was leaving one girl was like "Hey are you okay?" and I honestly said "no" and she asked if I wanted to talk about it but I also said no. The funny thing is I am a total OPEN BOOK about my anxiety/depression/relationship issues but how do I explain to my friend "I'm upset my clothes don't fit but I'm still fat and also I am fucking starving but I can't eat because I'll vomit and I've been having serious health issues lately so I can't do that either".
Idk man this shit just sucks. Glad I can at least vent here <3
[Discussion] DAE not understand bingeing?
/u/saccharinprincess [5'3.25" | 119 | 20.9 | -9lbs | 🤖]
Created: Sun Sep 17 07:38:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70niw5/dae_not_understand_bingeing/
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Unless we're treating my recovery like one long binge (lol [cries]), I just don't understand the desire ro eat a lot of food at once. I already feel sick enough eating over a small amount, and unless I give myself time to digest, I just can't do it. the most I've done is just eat way too much throughout the day.
The general westeen population, then, binges on a daily basis. But the ritualistic side... I don't understand. And I have OCD, so I definitely have rituals skdbelab
And I've chewed and spit a godawful amount :(
[Help] Awkward questions for ladies on here who have lost their periods...
/u/FastPhoria [5'10 | 122 | 17.5 / 17.0 | GW: 119 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 17 07:27:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70ngzo/awkward_questions_for_ladies_on_here_who_have/
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So I have lost my period for quite a long time now (except for one random one that came out of nowhere a couple of months ago), but I am still having some symptoms that I am attributing to my "time of the month". I would really love to know if I'm the only one that experiences these things, because it is a bit confusing....
1. I seem to still get bloated (I used to put on up to 7lbs of bloat in the week before my period and then drop it as soon as I started). At the moment I look like I am about to lay an egg, very similar to back then. Could this be the same mechanism, somehow, despite the fact that I have no expectations of actually having a period?
2. Ovulation - I still seem to get minor ovulation cramps, which coincide with (ahem) the other main symptom of ovulation. However this seems to be more regular than it used to be - maybe every two to three weeks or so. What is going on?
3. Sore boobs, comes and goes, similar frequency to before and generally the week before I get the phantom bloat (so as normal).
I am a bit anxious about all of this, basically because I don't understand it / know if it is even possible or all just in my head. Any similar experiences out there?
Thanks lovelies ♥️♥️♥️
[Tip] Bread alternative - 99 calories 😍😍😍
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Sun Sep 17 06:50:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70nayy/bread_alternative_99_calories/
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https://imgur.com/QXoDr2R
[Discussion] September 17th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 17 06:41:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70n9jr/september_17th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What's your favorite snack food?
(Shiiitttt, it's like they think we're normal people or something)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your favorite recipes!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Sep 17 06:11:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70n52q/sunday_share_your_favorite_recipes/
---
Looking for memes? [Right this way~](/r/ProEDmemes)!
Daily Food Diary! September 17, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Sep 17 06:10:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70n527/daily_food_diary_september_17_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 17, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] What are your favourite oatmeal/porridge recipes?
/u/itscirclejerky [5'5 | CW: repulsive| 22.29 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 17 05:34:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70mzmk/what_are_your_favourite_oatmealporridge_recipes/
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For a while, I ate nothing but blueberry honey porridge or porridge and dates but I stopped having those and can't quite remember the proportions and apparently wasn't using mfp much around the same timeframe.
I'm looking for ways to 'spice up' my breakfast since that's the only thing I feel comfortable eating sometimes. In the past I've added vanilla yoghurt but that's too 'milky' and the smell is overwhelming.
Blueberry honey porridge: 201 kcal
>40g Scottish rolled oats {146 kcal}
>40ml Soya milk {14 kcal}
>25g Frozen Blueberries {11 kcal}
>10g Honey {30 kcal}
I'm currently adjusting this to smaller proportions so my new recipe is:
>32g Scottish rolled oats {116 kcal}
>16g Frozen Blueberries {7 kcal}
>8g Honey {24 kcal}
Blueberry honey porridge vers. 2: 147 kcal
I've heard that adding coffee to porridge makes it taste chocolatey but I haven't had the chance to try that out.
[Tip] PSA: Reading about the global obesity epidemic can stop a binge IMMEDIATELY!
/u/SlipMitts [172cm | BMI: Sirenian | GW: 130 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 17 05:06:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70mw3r/psa_reading_about_the_global_obesity_epidemic_can/
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Decided to fast today to try and reset myself after the last two day binge. All of a sudden that emotional bile bubbles up and I think "god I could so go for pizza". It's so easy to order food for delivery in my city, like too easy. Before I know it I have the website of a popular pizza chain up on my screen. Just a pizza. But f*ck it, why not some ice cream too. And how about a sugary drink. And I can't get all that without chicken and cheesy bread. The urge to order is strong, and I have it all in my basket just ready to go. BUT, I catch myself and have a moment of clarity realising just how many bloody calories all that is going to be, and how I really don't want that. I remember a tip I received from a thread I posted previously: find a way to take a break, and before you know it you'll get past the need to binge.
I decide to browse around and get my mind off of food. I'm looking through some articles and I come across this one: [How Big Business Got
Brazil Hooked on Junk Food](https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2017/09/16/health/brazil-obesity-nestle.html). HOLY SHIT! Reading about the obesity epidemic in developing countries, how big corporations are destroying lives and health and diversity for profits, just brought me right back to reality. I watched the video and broke down in tears. I'm not going to give my money to some big pizza chain that is just as complicit in destroying health and lives as the corporation in the article. I immediately emptied my basket AND blocked the pizza website on a Chrome extension (StayFocusd) I use to filter out websites I shouldn't be on.
I'm now determined to keep fasting until tomorrow evening, because I can and because I deserve it. I will nourish myself with real food later once my body has reset from the awful binge of this week.
So a tip: the next time you feel like you want to binge, find a heavy article about the global obesity epidemic and you too can avoid going overboard for one more day.
[Rant/Rave] why haven't i lost more whyyyy
/u/7376549 [male | 165.5cm | cw 62kg | gw 55kg | ]
Created: Sun Sep 17 04:19:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70mqe2/why_havent_i_lost_more_whyyyy/
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okay this is dumb but i finally bought scales yesterday (i haven't had any since i moved, so like a month) & i was soooo excited to weigh myself this morning, like i was so sure i must've lost at least a few kg because i've been restricting for ages & doing IF for a week too.
i only lost a kilo :(
idk. i just feel like SURELY i should've lost more & now i'm trying to figure out where i've gone wrong in the last month or whatever. i'm trying to convince myself that a kilo is still a kilo & it's still good but.. ok, i use mechanical scales so.. it really looks tiny lmao. like i'm only down one of the tiny lines. and i know that's a stupid way to measure things but it feels baaaad.
fml.
[Thinspo] [Male Thinspo] Sasha Sitt
/u/95CHOI [M20 / -230lbs]
Created: Sun Sep 17 03:13:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70misg/male_thinspo_sasha_sitt/
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https://imgur.com/a/ABocv
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo 💎
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | CW:131lbs | GW 125| GW2 115lbs | F]
Created: Sun Sep 17 01:49:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70m9l5/daily_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/87pupye3femz.jpg
[Discussion] how do i tell my parents that restaurants are not that easy for me
/u/misterrazorz [159 | 44.4 | 17.9 | a]
Created: Sun Sep 17 01:09:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70m4zd/how_do_i_tell_my_parents_that_restaurants_are_not/
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they know about my ED but they still want me to go with them to restaurants thinking that if i just don't eat it's easy for me to just sit their with them. how can i explain to them that sitting with them while they eat and i don't at a restaurant is really difficult to me?
post any restaurant thoughts you may also have please?
[Discussion] With every kg lost I feel less like a blob monster and more like a women in her mid 20s
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Sun Sep 17 01:06:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70m4lv/with_every_kg_lost_i_feel_less_like_a_blob/
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I feel more confident and more able to take on the world...but, I weigh more than I did 2 years ago and I definitely felt too fat then...so where does it end?
[Rant/Rave] Retail therapy and maybe treating myself too much...
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Sep 17 00:30:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70m0h3/retail_therapy_and_maybe_treating_myself_too_much/
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On mobile flair as rant rave.
A few weeks ago I got a new tattoo in the middle of my chest on my sternum and bought a couple pairs of expensive boots and thrifted a bunch of pants that are on the right side..
This afternoon I got my nipples pierced. I feel like the more things i "invest" in the more I'll want to maintain or decrease my weight. I don't know what i am treating myself. I shouldn't be spending money but I always spend money on binges.
I spent the money that would have gone to binging on nice clothes and body modification stuff. I want to get my belly button pierced when I do get below a certain weight and finish up my chest piece tattoo but I feel like I need to make some progress.
I keep back sliding and I need to get a fucking grip. Things have just been stressful. I have been trying to come out more as nonbinary to coworkers and some friends and also going by my preferred name, willow. In addition to trying to have my identity validated I am trying to make the best of my situation as it is.
I have some clothes I do like and looking foreword to fall so I can wear big sweaters but I just hate my legs and stomach the most but I do like my tattoo and new piercings even if they are in a place no one would really get to see.
I feel like the things I have bought are just teasing myself into trying harder. No more piercings or tattoos til I'm smaller also the ad boots I bought will look best with the skinniest boots possible. ( for anyone curious the boots are Saint Laurent Paris Wyatt Harness boots in taupe seude with a slight heel they are dying to be worn with some black skinny jeans..also they retail for 1200 bucks and I got mine for about 500 which is pricy for some people but it was a "grail" for me)
So here I am, a bunch of new things to tease myself into being better. I feel like I have just intuitively restricted and gotten full easy. Also food just kind of bores me some days.
So that is where I am.
I'm still alive just not happy and still lonely and depressed..
Willow.
I hate myself 😍
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 17 00:23:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70lzku/i_hate_myself/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] rough day
/u/ankrage
Created: Sun Sep 17 00:19:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70lz3n/rough_day/
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I've basically been eating constantly since I woke up: coffee and tea with 2% milk and real sugar, turkey, baby carrots, mushy peas, full-calorie and full-size bread, tuna fish, and more than a tablespoon of fucking full-fat mayo. And this day that seems so gluttonous adds up to less than 700 calories.
Once that would have made me happy, and now it terrifies me. I'm more worried about being healthy than being thin right now, and it's all so much work...macros, nutrients, fiber, sugar, salt...it never ends. I feel like I can't make it to 1000 calories, let alone 1200, without eating garbage, and I don't feel like ingesting fatty junk is good for me either. I'm so anxious and shaky.
The fear paralyzes me, and if I can't move, I can't eat. I'm down 50+ lbs and in the "healthy" weight range, but I know that eating this little can't be good for me either way--and I won't be in the "healthy" range much longer. But choosing something to eat drains all my fucking energy. When did surviving become this much work?
My best friend is calorie counting
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 17 00:03:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70lx9i/my_best_friend_is_calorie_counting/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Instead of spiralling dangerously in response to an idiots comment I made something!
/u/Cheskaz [5'8 | CW 148lbs | GW 110lbs]
Created: Sat Sep 16 23:44:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70luls/instead_of_spiralling_dangerously_in_response_to/
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Long and boring, sorry! I just...need to be proud of myself for a second because no one I know fucking is.
So just got out of detox for my drinking. Was feeling really bad, over the last week I gained 5kg and so decided to go to the shops, buy a shit load of binge food and just fuck up my shit as much as I could while sober. My housemate had friends over and I'm very open about my mental shit so they knew that's what I was doing but clearly didn't trust me not to be drinking. Halfway there I decided to go back home and try to just push through the crave to binge. Got back just in time to meet them coming back into the building because they had gone to the bottle shop to check if I was there. One of them smirks and asks me how the pub was.
Cue suicidality, anxiety and the urge to go to the pub order all the pub food and all the alcohol they could legally serve me. I didn't want to go up in the elevator with them because I just wanted to slap myself until I felt better so didn't get in with them, said I was going to go do maintenance on my bike and went down to the garage.
I have had, this fucking bike trolley for 2 years that I just never got around to building. But fuck it. Fuck Sam. And fuck all the people who said they loved and cared but can't bring themselves to trust me or even respect me. That shit was getting built today.
And look: [In all its unintersting to everyone else on this subs glory.](https://imgur.com/a/EQpG8) (Also I agree! My motorcycle *is* the most beautiful thing on the planet :p)
That asshole came in around 1 million pieces with more nuts and bolts than there are atoms in the universe. But I did it! And I didn't drink and I didn't binge! And most importantly, I got rid of the biggest toxin that fucking asshole Sam.
[Help] Getting back into it
/u/ravras
Created: Sat Sep 16 23:34:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70ltg5/getting_back_into_it/
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[removed]
[Intro] I'm probably going to relapse and I'm okay with that
/u/eatkittens
Created: Sat Sep 16 23:04:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70lpbb/im_probably_going_to_relapse_and_im_okay_with_that/
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It's been about seven years since I last made myself throw up, and about nine years since my lowest weight. And that is only because of alcohol. I don't want to drink anymore, I'm tired of the hangovers, anxiety, throwing money away, looking at my bloated face in the mirror, looking at my bloated ugly body. I never officially recovered, I just found a new solace. But it has done me far more damage than losing weight ever did. I don't want to binge and purge three times a day like I used to, but I don't have to lie about my eating habits anymore either. I am the heaviest I've been in my life. Which is worse, being addicted to alcohol or losing weight? At least being skinny makes me feel accomplished. Being drunk just makes me feel like a useless shit bag. I might be the oldest person who is subscribed here (I'm 29) but I still relate to the majority of you a great deal.
This is probably inappropriate for me to say, and I hope it's different for those who received comprehensive treatment and recovery. But I never stopped hating myself. I just found an easier method of diverting my self-disgust.
No more alcohol, no more than 900 calories a day, walking to work, and finally using that goddamn elliptical. I've done it before and I will do it again.
[Discussion] Does anyone else like the attention they get from their ED?
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 112.8 | GW: 105 | M/15]
Created: Sat Sep 16 22:16:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70lihm/does_anyone_else_like_the_attention_they_get_from/
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Like on one hand I hate people trying to argue with me and telling me it isn't healthy, but on the other hand I can't help but like the attention. I bring it up a lot (not irl though) and it makes me feel guilty, like I'm just doing it for attention and don't actually have an ED, I also do this with many other issues I have and try to work them in to random conversations. Does anyone else feel the same way?
[Rant/Rave] One of those nights
/u/Soybeansandsprouts [🍌5'5"|111|GW:110🍉]
Created: Sat Sep 16 22:01:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70lg9k/one_of_those_nights/
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You ever have one of those nights where you're laying down and a sudden pang of complete hopelessness engulfs you? The night sky outside my window is so dark and vast and beautiful. inside I I feel so small and empty, like no amount of food, weight loss, or company will ever fulfill me.
Ive been sick with a fever all weekend and have the house to myself tonight since my roommates went out drinking. My friends were having a party and I was supposed to go but got hit with round two of fever after the ibuprofen wore off and cancelled.
Boyfriend said he would come over to snuggle and make me feel better and I said you really don't need to, I don't want to get you sick. He insisted so I gave in but then he said well actually I would feel bad if I missed the party so I'll go for a bit then come see you. I waited around, cleaned my room, drank some water. He asked if I'll be awake at midnight so he can come over and I just-
What's the point? Why come at all? I know that if he says he'll leave at 12:00 he won't really leave until an hour later. Itold him not to worry about it and to have fun at the party.
This has been me since middle school, pushing people away so I can be left to wallow in my emptiness. Nothing has changed. I purposefully detach myself from everyone just to further perpetuate my overwhelming loneliness. It's a gross masochistic tendency i have to be sad for the sake of feeling pain. It's one of those nights y'all. Stay safe out there. ❤️
[Discussion] I look good when I wake up.. But even barely eating, I end up looking like a fat cow at the end of the day. Anyone else? 😢
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 16 21:18:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70l9o4/i_look_good_when_i_wake_up_but_even_barely_eating/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] DAE maintain or eat more calories on the weekend and then heavily restrict during the week?
/u/nitra_bon [Height 5'3 | CW 111 lbs | BMI 20.21 | Weight Lost -11| Gender F]
Created: Sat Sep 16 21:15:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70l996/dae_maintain_or_eat_more_calories_on_the_weekend/
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I find that Fridays and Saturdays are the days I allow myself to eat at or slightly above maintaining (usually because I end up binging 🙁), but during the week it's a rare day I let myself eat more than 600-700 calories. I find I've kicked cravings better this way but still feel gross after I finish a whole choco-waffle from Walgreens on Saturday night...
[Intro] Really needing someone to talk to.
/u/ThrowboNanoo
Created: Sat Sep 16 21:00:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70l6w9/really_needing_someone_to_talk_to/
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Hey everyone,
I've been lurking here for a while because it's such a supportive and relatable space.
I'm really struggling with this war in my head between my "rational brain" and my ED brain.
I've reached a point in my feelings and behaviour that I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone who really cares about me because I don't want anyone to know or be concerned.
I'm just really looking for someone to talk to who understands what it feels like to restrict until I feel my brain function diminishing, eat some green beans and then exercise away twice the amount of calories I consumed. Or how it feels to simultaneously feel as though eating ~200 calories in a day means I'm behaving perfectly "normally" and don't have any kind of problem because "I ate today! I'm fine!", but also feeling like eating anything in a day is a huge failure, and also knowing that my behaviour isn't healthy or sustainable.
I'm just really struggling, guys. Even if nobody responds to this I'm just really grateful this community exists.
Thanks for being here!
[Thinspo] Thinspo
/u/saccharinprincess [5'3.25" | 119 | 20.9 | -9lbs | 🤖]
Created: Sat Sep 16 20:05:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70kxvp/thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/lshqh2kkpcmz.jpg
[Discussion] Restricting and also binging to cope?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 16 19:41:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70ktu1/restricting_and_also_binging_to_cope/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Does anyone else miss their childhood?
/u/NewEnglandAutumn [5'8 | 122 lbs | BMI 18.6 | GW: 115]
Created: Sat Sep 16 19:18:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70kpub/does_anyone_else_miss_their_childhood/
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I just want to be a kid again. School was fun, playful and interesting. There was no work or stress or laziness. You could eat whatever you wanted, you didn't care about how you looked. You got to sleep in. You got to play. Life was good and sweet and full of energy. What happened to that? Nowadays I'm stressed, tired, sleepless, hungry, lazy, and hate my body. All I want is to be a child again. :(
[Intro] Sup
/u/hangry_hippopotamus
Created: Sat Sep 16 19:06:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70knry/sup/
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Hey guys. I used to be a regular on here but then, ya knooow, low key gained like 20 lbs and am currently living in a pit of self loathing and am too ashamed to log in to my old account and see my flair from when I wasn't a worthless lard-ass.
Obligatory "I don't know why I'm posting this but need to vent to the only people who could possibly understand."
Background: I was always on the chubbier side (upper end of normal BMI range). I struggled with disordered eating from around ages 11 - 21, but it was always just binge-restrict cycles and I never lost a significant amount of weight from it. Somewhere around age 21 I got my shit together and ate like a normal human and lost about 50 lbs "the healthy way" over the course of a few years.
This past winter, I was going through a rough time, joined this sub, finally managed to not completely suck at restricting and lost like 15 more lbs pretty quickly. I still ate fairly healthily and intuitively and would eat when my body told me it really needed food.
Once my BMI got below 18, my body annoyingly decided it really needed food all. the. time. My mental health also improved a bit, which is good, I suppose, but the depression had fueled my restriction so it became a lot more difficult to motivate myself.
Things got away from me. I gained a few pounds. Then after being unemployed for a long time, and feeling absolutely hopeless I'd ever find a job that didn't make me want to slit my throat every second of the day, I got a job that I absolutely love. It's my absolute dream job and I couldn't be happier, but I'm now surrounded by incredible food all day that I have full access to. The combination of that and "omg you got a job you totally deserve to treat yo self" was disastrous.
And now I'm a fucking obese piece of shit and I don't know how to live with myself in this body.
So I'm back at this whole restriction thing, I guess. Fuck. When I lost weight slowly, "the healthy way," I never gained any back, even over several years. But when I lost it through restricting, I gained back everything I lost and more within a few months, and I don't think that's a coincidence.
But now I'm too fucking fat for slow loss so I don't have any choice. I don't want to go out in public. I can't enjoy anything. I don't even want my boyfriend (of many years, who has seen me at my fattest) to see me naked. All I can think about, every waking moment, is how fat I am. I can't take it and it fucking sucks.
I've had two decent eating days in a row for the first time in as long as I can remember (decent by my current standards; probably what I would consider binging if I were full into restriction, fuck me), so I'm hoping I can keep it up. I don't have another choice besides just killing myself sooo wish me luck!
I hope you are all doing well. I miss you guys. You are all so lovely and beautiful and I wish you all the best.
Edit sorry this is long af bless anyone who even skims it and on mobile so intro? rant/rave? idfk.
[Discussion] Halo Top "recipes"
/u/awayawaydown [c: 17.2 | g: 16.3]
Created: Sat Sep 16 18:57:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70km97/halo_top_recipes/
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Hey guys, I enjoy Halo Top but overall it's often too too sweet for my taste. Tonight I ate a serving of Strawberry flavor mixed with five chopped strawberries and low-cal whip and it was divine. I think I can probably include other sliced fruit for a more satisfying bowl in the future.
Does anyone else find the need to cut the sweetness on overly-sweet foods like this? Any favorite strategies? Or do you ramp it up with sweet toppings instead?
[Rant/Rave] I'm growing!!
/u/cinnamonbicycle [5'2 | F | 🍑: shakylittleleaf]
Created: Sat Sep 16 18:25:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70kgji/im_growing/
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I've been gaining weight intentionally for a month or so because I want to hurry up and be out of treatment. I hate it and would give anything to be out of it, but I guess being not-dying comes with some advantages. My favorite is the fact that I'm getting taller!
I used to be a good bit shorter than my mom, but now I'm almost the same height as her. She's 5'4 and I was 5'2 the last time I was measured, but I've got to be at LEAST 5'3 now! Of course, I'm most excited for the fact that now my GW BMI will be lower than before.
I've always been a short girl, and I'm so happy to finally be getting a bit taller. I guess this weight gain stuff comes with a silver lining!
[Discussion] Should I Go to Residential Eating Disorder Treatment? Or Just do the Day Program?
/u/cats_is_cats [62" | CW 213 | 39.95 BMI | 217 lbs Lost | F vegan]
Created: Sat Sep 16 18:15:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70kemr/should_i_go_to_residential_eating_disorder/
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So I've been diagnosed with an eating disorder, and I agreed to go to treatment. They strongly recommended residential. But I only agreed to go to PHP (the day program), not residential, and they said that they would allow it on a two-week trial basis. I have orientation Monday, and at that point the folks there and I will determine when I'll start the actual treatment.
But. Since then (a week ago) I've noticed alarming things about what I'm doing, and honestly it's been scaring me. I don't at all have control, and so I'm really glad that I'm going to get help. Because if I keep this up I'll seriously do myself damage, and I'm feeling pretty poorly.
So. I'd really appreciate anybody's input, whether you've been to a treatment facility or not. Should I consider going residential to start off with? Or just stay PHP? Would I be able to leave the campus? Would I be able to use my laptop and remotely log in to my work? (That's super important!)
[Other] I made a fall-inspired weight chart for the month of September!
/u/NewEnglandAutumn [5'8 | 122 lbs | BMI 18.6 | GW: 115]
Created: Sat Sep 16 18:13:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70ke7a/i_made_a_fallinspired_weight_chart_for_the_month/
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https://i.imgur.com/Kq34WqO_d.jpg?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=medium
[Goal] All my meals for building lean muscle
/u/fitit1098
Created: Sat Sep 16 18:02:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70kc6m/all_my_meals_for_building_lean_muscle/
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https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1VJP5FGUX5M
[Rant/Rave] I feel one purge away from death...
/u/bunnywithbpd [Height 5"1 | CW 114 lb | HW 128 lb | UGW 95 lb]
Created: Sat Sep 16 17:57:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70kbc5/i_feel_one_purge_away_from_death/
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Had bulimia since the 7th grade, now 21.
A few weeks ago I went through a heavy relapse...puking twice a day or more. The last one completely screwed me. I have a horrible "flu" sore throat, stomach feels like it was stretched and squeezed too many times. There's a sharp pain in my mouth (probably swollen saliva gland) and my heartburn has worsened by a million. I feel like my esophagus probably reduced to the durability of paper. And that if i were to purge once more itd ripped to pieces and kill me. Other words I feel like total shit, and deep inside I do kind of wish I'd just cough up a ton of blood and pass out over the toilet and die.
Sorry I guess this is rant / rave (on mobile) :( sorry for depressing post...
[Tip] Guys guys guys! Butternut squash noodles are A Thing. Moreover, they are An Amazing Thing.
/u/FastPhoria [5'10 | 122 | 17.5 / 17.0 | GW: 119 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 16 17:49:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70k9uk/guys_guys_guys_butternut_squash_noodles_are_a/
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https://i.redd.it/0dk267pg1cmz.jpg
[Tip] 100 cals a serving! Quick and easy! And vegan!
/u/NotStephany [5'5| 193 | 32.49 | -101lbs | F]
Created: Sat Sep 16 17:03:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70k18m/100_cals_a_serving_quick_and_easy_and_vegan/
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https://i.redd.it/xbqwlkp6tbmz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Holy crap I feel so safe on this sub
/u/champu-petal
Created: Sat Sep 16 16:01:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70jpa7/holy_crap_i_feel_so_safe_on_this_sub/
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Just discovered you guys yesterday and you're all the sweetest. I was a regular on 1200isplenty but sometimes I feel like they're sooooo fake when they post five strawberries and say they're stuffed. But you guys are real on here & not condescending at all!! And you're allowed to say the word "binge" without stirring debate 😪
I've never found a place where I can speak openly about these things and I'm glad we'll all get to progress together. I'm only 5lb from my 115 goal weight actually :)
[Tip] High Protein/Low Cal Cereal "Recipe"
/u/ExtraQueerrestrial
Created: Sat Sep 16 15:49:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70jmrr/high_proteinlow_cal_cereal_recipe/
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Makes a LOT (feel free to scale up or down as wanted)
Puffed Kamut - 2 cups
Ripple Unsweetened Pea Milk - 1/2 cup
140 cal, 10g protein total.
It's not thrilling flavor wise, but you could add cinnamon, cocoa powder, stevia, pb2, or whatever. I'm a plain cheerios type of human so I dont mind it plain.
PS if you aren't on that Ripple milk train, do ittttttt. Whole Foods carries it. It's super creamy tasting, 80 cals and 12g protein per cup, and has something like twice the calcium of whole milk.
(Whole Foods also has puffed kamut)
Girls with salad in the dining hall
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 16 15:44:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70jlsn/girls_with_salad_in_the_dining_hall/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Does anyone else have a 'radar'?
/u/strummerrunner
Created: Sat Sep 16 15:35:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70jk8b/does_anyone_else_have_a_radar/
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As in, I often see a celebrity I know nothing about and am PING eye emoji I know they're ED and I'm rarely wrong when it's / if it's confirmed.
My most memorable example is Richey Edwards (showing my age, this was about 02 though) where I was introduced to his music via video and PING, then later found out he very publicly had an ED. (TW a lot of self harm tags if you look him up just FYI).
Same thing happened with Silverchair and Daniel Johns (skinny warnings if you look him up). I'm a trans guy so sometimes I think do I have a ~radar for just skinny guys like me or do other ED peeps get this too? It's happened with a bunch of random actors and actresses also but these are the ones I remember.
But yeah, basically I reckon I have a ED-dar and I wonder if you feel the same.
[Help] Is lack of feeling during sex due to ED?
/u/Brickly2017 [5'7" | 115 and staying | BMI 18 | -17 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 16 15:31:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70jjam/is_lack_of_feeling_during_sex_due_to_ed/
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I can't really feel anything during sex, in any position. I used to feel pain but not anymore. Is it possible that this is due to being malnourished?
Edit: I don't mean to be rude but I didn't say anything about antidepressants, which I don't take :/ Why is everyone talking about antidepressants?
[Rant/Rave] I have to be thin because i can't do anything else right
/u/Biebercel [BMI: 18.8 | Slowly rotting away]
Created: Sat Sep 16 15:23:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70jhwh/i_have_to_be_thin_because_i_cant_do_anything_else/
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I'm not good looking or smart or strong or interesting or funny or charming, nor do i possess any other desirable trait in the universe, i am a failure all around
But maybe if i try real hard i can be thinner than other people, even though that's not really an acomplishment, i'll count any win i can
Anyone relate?
[Rant/Rave] I went to a concert yesterday and looked and felt so pretty
/u/starvingarthoe
Created: Sat Sep 16 15:14:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70jg25/i_went_to_a_concert_yesterday_and_looked_and_felt/
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Then after the concert my boyfriend wanted food and I lost my self control and binged Wendy's. Today I looked in the mirror and I look so bloated and gross. I hate it. I haven't weighed myself but I probably gained some water weight. Hoping the dancing I did at the concert counter acted all the food. I'm so disappointed with myself
[Thinspo] Allie fucking X. She doesn't eat dairy, most meat, grains, sugar, fruit, or even most vegetables. Restriction works.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 16 14:58:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70jcys/allie_fucking_x_she_doesnt_eat_dairy_most_meat/
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https://i.redd.it/1sbq7fhw6bmz.png
Allie fucking X. She doesn't eat dairy, most meats, fruit, grains, sugar, or even some vwgerbales. Restriction works.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 16 14:57:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70jcoc/allie_fucking_x_she_doesnt_eat_dairy_most_meats/
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https://i.redd.it/ivi060ol6bmz.png
[Rant/Rave] I had such a good night last night
/u/schoolgirlqt [5'6.5" |118lbs| BMI:18.8 |21F]
Created: Sat Sep 16 14:34:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70j83t/i_had_such_a_good_night_last_night/
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I have been horribly off track with my weight loss and it's giving me a lot of anxiety. I gained 7 lbs since moving back to my moms. I'm also still grieving my break up from a month ago and I feel so lost and sad all the time.
So I started seeing this guy who has a lot of money and loves to spend it on ~me😇~ and fast cars lol. He's not the "one" or anything but he's really cool and smart so I'm having fun for now.
Anyway last night he got his corvette fixed after 3 mo of not having it (he loves his cars for real). I came down with a bad cold 2 days ago so I wasn't interested in going out. But I let him pick me up in his car anyway.
He always brings me to get food (he's Asian and loves that I'm white and am willing to try his cultures food) and I told him I wasn't hungry but he stopped at his family's house anyway and grabbed me a plate. Lol
Thank god it wasn't anything special because I took 2 bites of it and he agreed it was "just ok." So he threw it out the window!! Plate and everything!! Because he didn't want to mess up his car! 😂😭 I have such a horrible habit of finishing everything on my plate or always storing left overs. (Plus I don't throw styrofoam on the ground.) I hate that about myself. I eat like a fatty or someone who can't afford to eat. It's embarrassing (especially around him because he would buy me whatever I wanted if I needed more). When he threw the food out that was "just ok" I felt so joyous and free.
Then he drove down the highway so fucking fast (top down and it's a racing car) and drove me along side of the river then down a haunted highway. We were vaping weed and he let me pick the music so I played Pink Floyd. He grabbed my hand and put it on the stick shift and let me feel him shift the gears so I can do it myself when he teaches me. I was still sick but I couldn't even feel my body anymore. It was bliss.
[Help] Dealing with munchies
/u/sataned
Created: Sat Sep 16 14:13:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70j42u/dealing_with_munchies/
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Any r/trees ents here??? How do y'all deal with the munchies? I binged so fucking hard last night because I was high. I was literally shoving cheetos in my mouth till it was dry af and I couldn't breath. I also ate a whole sleeve of Oreos and a bunch of other crap that I regret 😩
[Help] Disordered eating/College
/u/uiume [5'4" | CW:122.8 | 21.72 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 16 14:13:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70j416/disordered_eatingcollege/
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Since my classes have started I've found it really hard to eat in a healthy way. I haven't been restricting nor have I been binging, but I've been eating 2-3 full meals a day along with snacks with friends. The amount of food is probably a healthy, normal amount because I've been maintaining my weight save for some bloating, but I still feel out of control and like I need to go back to restricting. Eating so casually is something I would love to do, but I feel so disgusting and out of control, unorganized. I really just want to be able to eat light, controlled meals with healthy foods while still indulging in snacks and alcohol, but I don't know how.
Anyone have any tips or advice for dealing with food in college? I thought it would be easier. (Also to clarify I'm not looking for 'diet tips' or anything this is very much so a problem for me)
[Discussion] Where do you shop for clothes in really small sizes?
/u/throwgdjjbdyjj
Created: Sat Sep 16 13:55:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70j0c8/where_do_you_shop_for_clothes_in_really_small/
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My beloved 24R gap jeans are getting too big. And my skirts from HM in extra small are kinda loose as well
I'm pretty sure my measurements are around 30-23-32
[Rant/Rave] Why can't I accept help?? Intro/Rant
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 16 13:52:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70izol/why_cant_i_accept_help_introrant/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Back at university yay!!
/u/fiyacht524 [5'6" |CW 54kg |BMI 19| GW:48kg| Female]
Created: Sat Sep 16 13:51:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70izgn/back_at_university_yay/
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It is so so good to be back. Summer was so long and tough with my parents always around and cooking dinners for me.
But now, I'm back to university, which means I'm spending barely anytime at home and I don't have to eat on campus if I don't want to. It also means cheap coffee and free red bulls every now and then.
I'm so freaking excited to start hardcore restriction again, I put on weight on my holidays and am freaking out over it. Also yay for me, one week into uni I got sinusitis and a septic throat which means glands so swollen I can't swallow so easy excuse not to eat around family woohooooo.
Things are going to get so much better from here on!!!!
Sorry guys just had to share with someone.
[Rant/Rave] Fat shamed at birthday lunch?
/u/lumosxnox
Created: Sat Sep 16 13:18:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70iswd/fat_shamed_at_birthday_lunch/
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Today my mother took me to a hibachi place for my birthday lunch. I ordered 3 sushi rolls (cucumber roll, avocado roll and vegetable roll) with the intention of having leftovers to give to my boyfriend later. The waitress looked at me weird when I was ordering which made me feel uneasy but then she spoke...
Waitress: "You want THREE rolls?"
Me: "Yes ma'am."
Waitress: *rolls eyes and takes mom's order*
WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK.
I ate a small bowl of miso, half of the cucumber and avocado rolls and a piece of the vegetable roll. I didn't want to feel guilty about treating myself on my birthday. I would have been fine if this hadn't happened.
I'm 5'2 125lbs. I just wanted some nice sushi. Here's to the 22nd year of my life. Hope you all are having a better day than I am 🙃
[Discussion] Portraying ED in film
/u/Alolboba
Created: Sat Sep 16 13:14:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70irxz/portraying_ed_in_film/
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Hey! I want your input and thoughts!
I’m writing a screenplay (20-30 min in length, fiction). As an ex-EDNOS sufferer, I want to portray an eating disorder in a subjective way. It's about a girl turning 19, who has tried cancelling her birthday since she is trying to starve herself, but her best friend is plotting a surprise party. We are going to view the world through her eyes, her illness.
But here's the thing: Even though I’m choosing a horror movie style (because that was how I experienced my disorder), I don’t want to trigger people who have suffered, or "inspire" people who can come to be suffering. I want to keep triggers DOWN.
I want to focus on the lies and the social aspect of keeping an eating disorder up. I will focus on the obsession to remain in control.
**I have decided that the film will not:** Show numbers (scales, calories). Show the protagonist pulling her body in a mirror. Observe any very skinny body. Show “successful tricks” of how to lose weight. Make the protagonist have a job where she needs to look a certain way (model, actress, dancer).
**However, I do want to portray:** A binge. Purging. Excruciating hunger feelings. An obsession with food (but really, with control).
Do you think this can be portrayed without being too triggering? Or should I just accept that this will be a triggering film? Where is your line crossed?
I want to make this film partly because I think ED-films that ARE out there, aren't very good. They neither help anyone close who wants to understand, nor validates the one who has suffered who wants to be understood.
Discussing this with you who are suffering would mean the world to me - we don’t need yet another lousy depiction of our illnesses.
[Rant/Rave] Uncontrollable binging the past week
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Sat Sep 16 12:08:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70idy1/uncontrollable_binging_the_past_week/
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Goals were set to lose.... 95lbs by 🎃 👻
I fucked up sooooo bad this week. Pizza, brownies,candy.
My meds are no longer working right ( in contact with my psychiatrist) and she wants to add in risperdal ? Main side affect WEIGHt GAin idk what to do. Has anyone ever tried this med? My bipolar is cycling like crazy. I'm no longer me. I'm doing and saying crazy things and want to die.
I feel I've been using eating to cope with my extreme paranoia and depression to punish myself. Like I don't deserve to be skinny.
I've cut, I've purged, I've binged.
Now I realize that I don't deserve to eat. WTF was wrong with me. Why do I self sabotage my body, I need to lose more and fast! How can I fix this. Maybe just a liquid diet.
I hate myself so much 😔
I'm hysterical, I'm sorry, I have no where else to turn with this.
Lost 90 lbs in 9 months!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 16 11:08:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70i1gz/lost_90_lbs_in_9_months/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] Thinspo
/u/i-have-8-nickels
Created: Sat Sep 16 10:46:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70hwvl/thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/wvkv1am0y9mz.png
[Rant/Rave] Apparently losing weight DOESN'T solve all your problems
/u/imprettyhopeless [5'1 | 113 | 22.30 | -39 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 16 10:43:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70hw8i/apparently_losing_weight_doesnt_solve_all_your/
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[removed]
I've eaten a 61,250 calorie deficit and I'm unable/terrified to eat even one day at maintenance for fear of losing all of my progress.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 16 10:32:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70hu44/ive_eaten_a_61250_calorie_deficit_and_im/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Binged on carrots
/u/Pugslyaddams [5'7"|114lbs- GW 110lbs | 17.79 (new), 17.85 (old) | -38| 20F]
Created: Sat Sep 16 10:13:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70hq84/binged_on_carrots/
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Finally done to a weight I'm semi comfortable with (114!) And then I go and binge on the weirdest shit because I feel bingy but have no 'bad' foods for this reason.
Soooo I just ate an entire bag of baby carrots with about 2 tablespoons of tzatziki and C/s'ed some gummy fibres. Hopefully it's ok.
Rant/rave because fuck I fucking feel like I ruined it because I'm so full. But also it was carrots. Like 200 calories of carrots. I'm weird as fuck.
[Rant/Rave] In a dark spot and need to get some stuff out of my head.
/u/ssssadgal
Created: Sat Sep 16 10:00:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70hnby/in_a_dark_spot_and_need_to_get_some_stuff_out_of/
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If this violates any rules please remove. I made a throwaway from my ed throwaway, i don't know why. I think i'm just embarrassed by myself and need deeper anonymity. I don't expect anyone to really read this. It's not really relevant but this sub is so supportive and I just need to put my thoughts somewhere because I'm alone and the pit inside me is burning after the last couple of days. I feel so much of my sadness physically but I can't let myself cry yet.
I deleted my peach because I'm so embarrassed and annoyed with the negativity I've been spewing. I know my life is so much easier than so many of the sweet souls on there, I hate myself for being this depression blob while so many others are struggling with real problems. I pretty much used it as an outlet to whine and do next to nothing to help myself. I didn't really have friends on there but now I feel so lonely without it. I know I'm pathetic. It's been a really difficult summer. Aside from my cat, losing weight and being underweight for the first time in my life is the only thing that's been getting me out of bed.
I finally came to terms with my abusive relationship. I've been trying to end it for months and this weekend I finally did it. I stayed at a friends while he moved out. It's so confusing to love someone who is also emotionally destroying you. I can't believe how much it hurts to know I'm hurting him. I can't stop worrying about it. I would normally smoke but that was such a part of our relationship (realize how awful that sounds) that it seems like a bad idea. My Ativan script is out and my pharmacy didn't fill it due to a miscommunication and I have to wait until Monday. So I'm feeling much more than I normally let myself. I kept it together so well while I was with my friends the last 36 hours but now I'm laying alone in our bed which is now just my bed and don't know what to do to feel better. He left me a letter and I can see a list of memories but I can't bring myself to read it. I don't want to move.
I don't typically lean on people in my life but I'm leaning here. I don't know what I want out of posting this. I guess if anyone has some advice for getting out of a hard breakup I would really appreciate it. To anyone who read this I love you. Thanks and sorry.
[Thinspo] Thinspo.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Sat Sep 16 09:22:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70hflj/thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/4rtvxgtwi9mz.jpg
[Help] working out vs. not working out
/u/ballerinainpain [5'5" | CW: 117 | BMI: fatass | GW: 75 | Pescetarian]
Created: Sat Sep 16 09:13:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70hdzv/working_out_vs_not_working_out/
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[removed]
Thinspo
/u/physics_chick
Created: Sat Sep 16 08:54:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70ha6k/thinspo/
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https://i.imgur.com/BN0IPU2.jpg
[Help] Buffets
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 112.8 | GW: 105 | M/15]
Created: Sat Sep 16 08:28:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70h5iy/buffets/
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[removed]
[Discussion] September 16th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 16 08:24:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70h4u6/september_16th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What would you want to study at school?
[Rant/Rave] Sometimes I think my anorexia is philosophical
/u/nopenopenpoenope
Created: Sat Sep 16 08:18:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70h3w2/sometimes_i_think_my_anorexia_is_philosophical/
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We always discuss eating disorders as arising from emotional discontent, a need for control due to trauma, depression, anxiety, personality disorders, etc. I seldom see discussions about eating disorders and life outlook. Sometimes I feel that part of the reason I'll never recover is because it would skew my worldview too greatly to make living bearable.
I don't identify as a nihilist, but I do believe life is inherently meaningless and that there is no "greater" pursuit of happiness or pleasure. As such, I try not to take the world seriously. Myself, my interactions, the world in its entirety. I want to feel light and airy, as if to be nothing at all. I want to drift through life without feeling or thinking too deeply, because I don't care to.
Anorexia is strange in this way. Being underweight affects your brain, and you don't feel or think deeply at all. Things just are, things just pass. Life just is. I feel like a ghost and others treat me as if I'm made of glass. Life feels like nothing, and I could never ask for anything more. In my senselessness I feel content.
Of course, much of what I have described could also be attributed to classic symptoms of persistent depressive disorder. Eating disorders are often egosyntonic, so I don't know whether I've developed this philosophy on my own or if it's only a means to rationalize my disordered behaviors. I might never know.
How does your eating disorder interact with your outlook on life? Do they cohere, or are they in conflict? Maybe neither?
[Help] How do you put the brakes on a binge?
/u/SlipMitts [172cm | BMI: Sirenian | GW: 130 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 16 08:16:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70h3g0/how_do_you_put_the_brakes_on_a_binge/
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Basically the title. I've been SO good at restricting for two straight weeks. Been keeping it to 500-800 a day, practicing IF to make it a little easier, and actually loving life. The sense of control I have over my life is intoxicating. Not to mention the scale going down gradually. Well I went to my therapist for the first time in months and now everything is just screwed up. Yesterday I binged hard right after the session. I wasn't even hungry and I didn't NEED to eat. Today I promised I wasn't going to binge. Prepped all my food in advance this morning. Promised I would keep it healthy and strictly at/under 800. I felt good. Then someone I thought cared about me did something pretty awful and I found out in a text. And now I've just binged again. I feel out of control and I hate this.
How do you guys stop a binge? What methods have you used to reset yourself?
[Rant/Rave] The sound of my roommate eating is seriously raising my blood pressure
/u/autotrapqueen [5'7.5| CW 131.8 | 20.19 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 16 08:14:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70h33w/the_sound_of_my_roommate_eating_is_seriously/
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I just wanted to sleep in today cause it's my one day off this weekend but I wake up 15 minutes before my alarm to what registers in my ears like fucking bones crunching, my roommate is in her bed crunching away on some fucking chips loud as fuck mouth open. Rude as shit, plus I was already mad she brought her guy friend over the other day when I was napping (I try not to nap but I had gotten like 5 hours of sleep the night before) and they saw me there but still talked and giggled loud as fuck. EVEN THOUGH her and I have talked before about how our old roommates used to do that and how rude it was. And we have a common area in the apartment they coulda stayed in but nope, lights on, room door wide open, full volume talking and laughing.
I really try not to have problems with people or judge people but don't fuck with my sleep!!!!! I'm starting to resent her, I take pride in skipping meals while she stuffs her face, I can't help but judge her for drinking nothing but soda and letting all her fruit and veg go bad while she eats Oreos with peanut butter (this one I've had to leave the room for), snack cakes for breakfast, whole bags of chips in a sitting (this is a common binge for me), ice cream after huge meals etc..... and ok these really aren't sleep related anymore but I'm pissed and find it reallllyyy hard to be confrontational so here I am passive aggressively ranting. She's told me before she wants to lose some weight, and she has sleep apnea (snores like a lawnmower so I have to either fall asleep before her or sleep with earbuds), and a bad knee/ankle that would all benefit from her losing weight, so all of her habits just really tick me off.
Don't really need advice just ranting, I'll figure it out and hopefully she becomes less of an inconsiderate lazy piece of shit (harsh sorry but she literally has said we should all just stack the recycling as high as it can go and whoever knocks it over has to take it out, FUCK that I take out the trash and recycling once a week, you can vacuum or anything helpful). Because she can actually be really sweet sometimes and we generally get along and communicate very well.
Oh and one last thing while on the topic. She also owes me $5 for two bags of chips she asked me to get for her and said she'd pay me back for and I've reminded her once about it, she said she'd get me when she gets money. She went home this weekend and told me her mom gave her $50, then proceeds to tell me she's spending it on some sorority shit and edibles. What the fuck. Ik she hasn't forgotten cause she always remembers when people owe her money, I don't understand how anyone can spend money on things like take out (several nights a week) or drugs when they owe someone money! And just $5, it's not even much but I could always use the cash plus it's just the fucking principle.
Not gonna offer to pick her up anything else till she pays me back. Not gonna keep doing all the chores till she pitches in (which I'll probably have to ask her to help on but I shouldn't have to ask, our apartmate will literally wash our dishes just to be nice, cleans up after herself, and takes out the trash when she notices it's full). And I'm really gonna make an effort to say something in the moment if she has to be loud as fuck, but what do I say to not sound like a cunt? "Hey can you do that in the living room" effective enough?
Staying in school to make enough money to never need to live with people ever again. So over it.
[Rant/Rave] Bmi is now 20!!!
/u/ReapHappiness [5'7" | 146.5 | 13.4lbs lost | GW1: 147lbs | UGW: 115 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 16 07:20:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70gu63/bmi_is_now_20/
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I'm now 144.3💕💕 pants that were too tight now fit loosely!!! I'm just really happy and I can't wait to have my bmi at 18 (124lbs)
[Rant/Rave] I am now a believer...
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 161.8 | GW:118 | -4 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 16 06:38:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70gnqj/i_am_now_a_believer/
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of the whoosh. I admit, I've been reading posts in r/keto and all the other weightloss/dieting subs and at first I scoffed at people talking about whooshes.
PEOPLE
OH MY FUCKING GOD IT'S REAL
I'm so happy I might actually cry a lil bit
so tmi, I have the mirena iud but it's only been in about 6 months, so I still get periods but super irregularly. I bloat far more often than I have my period, so I attributed this last few days of bloating to something I ate. But OH MY GOD I WAS WRONG. My period finally just ended and I just dropped two pounds. TWO FUCKING POUNDS.
I am so sorry I doubted you whoosh gods. So, so sorry. Praised be you (and low fat cheesus) for your gift of magical weight loss 😍😍😍😍😍😍
[Rant/Rave] Finding out someone else has lost weight sends me in to fucking over drive!?!!
/u/chippysammy
Created: Sat Sep 16 06:32:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70gn02/finding_out_someone_else_has_lost_weight_sends_me/
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Hey guys I'm using a new account here because I think my last one got found out but uni people (long story). I hardly contributed anyway and just made random posts like this so anyway here goes:
OHHHH MY FUCKING GOddDddd. I want to die???? I've been feeling fine for the last few months, I've lost 16kg since April... and then this girl who has always been more overweight than me has been slightly ill in hospital with abdominal issues and has hardly eaten in like 2 weeks!? I know realistically she can't have lost more weight than I have, but she's said this has now kick started her weight loss motivation and was asking me if she can eat 1200 calories etc etc and FUCKKKK GOD WHY NOW I AM GOING TO HAVE TO RESTRICT LESS AND EXERCISE MORE!?!? I was so happy with my current 800-1200 diet, now I'm going to have to drop to fucking 300-800, 1000 on a cheat day. Start walking/running almost every day now too. I have exams in November. Good fucking job now I'm gonna lose all my focus and fuck up! Fail my course! Because you've decided you want to lose weight "with me" or essentially against me.
FUCK.
I'm sorry if this rant doesn't make sense to you or if you see me as being selfish or over the top etc.
it's just that weight loss is the ONE THING I had and now she will even do that and everyone will notice her and encourage her more than me because she's bigger and it'll be more obvious.
God I hate this life
Edit: also the only comforting thing is knowing she has done a million fucking fad diets and health kicks and every single time she sticks it out for a few weeks and then fails, gains it all back etc. but still.. what if this time she doesn't?
[Help] Thinking of binge eating a pack of king size cheese cheetos, fml
/u/boardingschoolnbored
Created: Sat Sep 16 06:16:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70gknv/thinking_of_binge_eating_a_pack_of_king_size/
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[removed]
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! September 16, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Sep 16 06:10:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70gjt4/stupid_questions_saturday_september_16_2017/
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This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for September 16, 2017.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
Daily Food Diary! September 16, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Sep 16 06:09:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70gjn3/daily_food_diary_september_16_2017/
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This is a daily food diary thread for September 16, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Thinspo] [Thinspo] I'd 💍 marry her and change to drink Coke zero exclusively.
/u/notanEIGemployee
Created: Sat Sep 16 05:36:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70getn/thinspo_id_marry_her_and_change_to_drink_coke/
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https://i.imgur.com/9WTn98t.jpg
[Discussion] Tell me of your worst date stories pls
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'3"|110| 25F]
Created: Sat Sep 16 04:23:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70g6am/tell_me_of_your_worst_date_stories_pls/
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I want to keep a positive and/or humorous vibe here ha
Mine was when I gave a dude a chance even tho I kinda didn't really want to bc I'm antisocial and don't like going outside unless it's to walk my dog...... but yeah he kept this fetish nonsense and kept suggesting I like Hello Kitty cuz I'm Korean (lol why) and kept staring at my mouth when I was trying to down my fantastic sushi (the best part of the date is always food tbh).
Felt so awkward and like an object.
IDC if people have preferences but this guy apprarently has like asian models posters in his room and got real salty when I refused an earlier date bc I felt uncomfortable.
And it just so happens that I ran into him at walmart after a nasty breakup with my dumbass ex and he tore me a new one and got mad at me LOL. Maybe I deserved that bc I don't make smart decisions when it comes to love but gimme a break man my exbf sexually assaulted me like leave me alone you are THE LAST GUY I want to see right now in pubic LOL
ok go
What did you guys think of To the Bone?
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 102.9 | 18.8 | -34 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 16 03:48:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70g2a0/what_did_you_guys_think_of_to_the_bone/
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I only just got around to watching it. Honestly, I wasn't super impressed. I thought it was daring to show behaviors people don't know about - like her chewing and spitting - but she had WAY too much energy for a girl that wasn't shown to eat more than two month fulls of vegetable at every meal scene. I would have liked to see the internal turmoil of struggling to stop herself from eating, seeing binging maybe and losing control, struggling with hunger pains, etc rather than a "perfect" anorexic who had everything under control.
What about you? Did you guys like it? What about the weird baby bottle feeding scene? (lol)
Thinking of binge eating a king size bag of cheese cheetos, fml.
/u/boardingschoolnbored
Created: Sat Sep 16 03:20:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70fzay/thinking_of_binge_eating_a_king_size_bag_of/
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[removed]
[Tip] 0.14 calories per candy, and they're vegan, organic and GMO-free
/u/cartoonsandscience [6'1 | CW 146 | -26 | GW 136.5 | 20M]
Created: Sat Sep 16 02:58:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70fwvb/014_calories_per_candy_and_theyre_vegan_organic/
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https://imgur.com/UCLEjOS
[Help] what can i do to minimize bloating/feeling gross rn?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18 | 22F]
Created: Sat Sep 16 02:37:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70fuqt/what_can_i_do_to_minimize_bloatingfeeling_gross_rn/
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i just hung out with my friend/housemate all night and it was very wonderful *but* i was also eating pretty much the entire time, probably about 700-800 calories *after* eating hummus and pita bread earlier in the day. i've been super diligent about restricting, so naturally i feel utterly disgusting and my stomach is bloated like nobody's business. even my face feels bloated, is that even possible? i literally feel like i gain weight if i eat anything at all, with very few exceptions, so i'm freaked out about gaining weight from this (even though i probably stayed under/barely went over my tdee ugh). anyways, is there anything i can do to limit bloating/discomfort tomorrow? thanks if anyone has any advice, u guys are the ~best~, seriously.
[Help] Do you lax? Or have.. troubles..
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 19bmi | -140 | 30F | AU]
Created: Sat Sep 16 02:31:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70fu57/do_you_lax_or_have_troubles/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo 💎
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | CW:131lbs | GW 125| GW2 115lbs | F]
Created: Sat Sep 16 01:52:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70fpwk/daily_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/grnb0blpa7mz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I hate myself
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1.5" | cw 155 | gw 145 | -15]
Created: Sat Sep 16 01:05:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70fkln/i_hate_myself/
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A month ago I was restricting well and losing. 3 weeks ago I hit a plateau, got frustrated, and stopped weighing myself until about a week ago. I saw that I broke the plateau and lost 5 more lbs. 5 days ago I started binging and haven't been able to stop. This will go on for another week or so even though I'll over-caffeinate myself every day and manage not to eat until 11 pm and I could honestly probably go to sleep but instead I cram food in until my thoughts stop racing. I'll put most of the recently lost weight back on, and then rinse and fucking repeat until I hopefully get hit by a bus even though I never leave home
[Rant/Rave] My weight has ruined my entire life (but not really)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 16 00:32:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70fgma/my_weight_has_ruined_my_entire_life_but_not_really/
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[deleted]
FASTER AND HELPFUL
/u/CHINADOVE
Created: Fri Sep 15 23:24:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70f7tk/faster_and_helpful/
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http://prothinspo.com/hunger-buster.html
[Help] My illogical brain won't let me stop panicking and I'm so done with this.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 15 23:21:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70f7cd/my_illogical_brain_wont_let_me_stop_panicking_and/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I suck.... that is all.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 15 22:46:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70f2bl/i_suck_that_is_all/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] does anyone else ever look at a really big or caloric or junky meal and wonder what it would take for you to be able to eat it and not hate yourself?
/u/loversalibi [🐚tall mermaid | 18.88]
Created: Fri Sep 15 21:57:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70euvm/does_anyone_else_ever_look_at_a_really_big_or/
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i always do this. my bf and i were recently at a fair and i saw a sign for deep fried cheesecake. obviously that is probably the jizz, but i would never eat it. but i always try to imagine what kind of exercise i would have to do to feel justified in eating any given meal i see that's "unsafe".
for shit like the cheesecake? there is literally nothing that could make me feel ok eating that short of running a full marathon tbh. sigh
[Goal] Anyone who's fat (180+) have any luck with bulimia?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 15 21:53:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70eual/anyone_whos_fat_180_have_any_luck_with_bulimia/
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[removed]
[Help] Fav restricting quotes/ mantras?
/u/naughtynugget [5' 3" | CW 113 | 20.0 | GW 110 | UGW 100 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 15 21:36:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70erkh/fav_restricting_quotes_mantras/
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[removed]
[Help] dear god please be water weight (help)
/u/sweettutu64 [5'3 | -51.2 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Sep 15 21:13:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70eo5g/dear_god_please_be_water_weight_help/
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so I tried one of those salt water cleanse/detox/quick fix to get rid of bloating, curb cravings, and move things along down there but my weight has been creeping up during the day for what should be no reason. like my weight would go up .2 lbs and then another .2 lbs despite not drinking anything or eating. what the hell is going on? water weight doesn't come out of nowhere so how is this possible? as far as I understood it the salt draws out water from your cells and sorta liquefies everything so it'll come out like other laxatives. Is it possible my scale is broken? My weight has gone up 8 lbs in the past 12 hours I'm on the verge of crying. today was supposed to be a good day wtfffff
[Rant/Rave] I just wanna eat my sadness away
/u/Rickticia [5'2| 136 lbs | 25.77 |GW1: 131| -28 | 20F]
Created: Fri Sep 15 21:10:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70enod/i_just_wanna_eat_my_sadness_away/
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I'm so sad guys. The past few days have passed in a stupor. I know it's bf-related, which makes me madder at myself. I shouldn't be so attached to a guy that a really rough point has me low key a bit depressed. I have so much work to do and a test on Monday, and there just isn't enough time. I don't have the motivation to do anything.
And I'm spiraling. I can't purge right, I can't stop bingeing, and I can't restrict like I want to. I just want to eat until I forget everything. I want to eat until I don't feel sadness; I want the physical pain of overeating. I want that guilt. I want to hate myself for eating for eating's sake.
I'm on my fourth slice of pizza already. My stomach is painfully swollen. With each slice, I hate myself a little more, and that makes me a bit happier. What he hell is wrong with me??
[Rant/Rave] After a rough week after being dumped I have broken 110!
/u/thegirlwhochanged [5'0 |CW 109.6| GW 102| UGW 95 | 21.4 | -6.4 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 15 21:06:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70emxy/after_a_rough_week_after_being_dumped_i_have/
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i have been dumped by an overweight guy who i fell for through his sweet talks and then pleaded him to meet me-slaps myself for being that stupid. Anyways in that one year period of dating him I became a hefty 116 pounds at only five feet. The last few weeks I've been cutting out food and working out and im down to a 109.6 I havent been under 110 in a year!! 95 pounds and skinny size 2 jeans im coming for you. also got a 95 percent on my physics quiz and placed fifth in the class. Yepp cant wait to show my ex what he lost
[Tip] i can't purge. i've tried really hard but can't get anything up. Any tips? P.S i've tried three fingers and lots of water.
/u/HastyDemonstrator
Created: Fri Sep 15 20:03:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70ecl5/i_cant_purge_ive_tried_really_hard_but_cant_get/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I want to binge again so bad.
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 100 | 16.84| GW 94 | F 22]
Created: Fri Sep 15 20:00:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70ec2x/i_want_to_binge_again_so_bad/
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[removed]
[Help] How to feel better after a binge?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 15 19:44:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70e9fw/how_to_feel_better_after_a_binge/
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[deleted]
[Other] the one good thing about eating one meal a day--
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 15 19:07:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70e2yo/the_one_good_thing_about_eating_one_meal_a_day/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I b/p'd 2x today.... I've never done that before
/u/sp0ngeb0bcirclepants
Created: Fri Sep 15 18:56:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70e0z3/i_bpd_2x_today_ive_never_done_that_before/
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I used to restrict, binge, over exercise & restrict and the cycle would continue. I restricted for a lonnnnng time and then bounced back with lotssss of binging and a 20lb weight gain... well lately in addition to overexercising I've been purging occasionally. And today I binged, purged... then went to the gym and walked ... and then got home, WENT SHOPPING FOR BINGE FOOD AND DID IT AGAIN.
Now my bf is almost home and I'll have to have dinner to act normal.. I guess I just need some positive words that it'll be okay?
Flare as rant/rave if you don't mind, I'm on mobile
[Discussion] DAE they aren't "sick" but that they gave themselves this ED?
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'3"|110| 25F]
Created: Fri Sep 15 18:20:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70dupa/dae_they_arent_sick_but_that_they_gave_themselves/
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[Other] Is it good?
/u/RichardStarrkey [6'0 | CW:61kg | GW:55kg | M]
Created: Fri Sep 15 18:18:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70duaa/is_it_good/
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https://imgur.com/yaxpZFf
The car door gave me that thigh gap I've been wanting 🔥🔥🔥🔥
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 15 17:58:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70dqk7/the_car_door_gave_me_that_thigh_gap_ive_been/
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https://i.redd.it/f1asmyc4y4mz.jpg
[Help] anyone know a really really filling protein powder?
/u/ci-fre [5'1" | 83-84 lb | ~16.5 new BMI | F]
Created: Fri Sep 15 17:55:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70dq1e/anyone_know_a_really_really_filling_protein_powder/
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Eek. I didn't know where to ask because I think my requirements are sort of ED related and I felt embarrassed posting someplace like r/Fitness...
Do you guys know any protein powders that mix really thick/grainy/gritty so that it's filling? Like to sludge levels LOL;; And relatively low cal (<=120 is fine) per scoop?
Thanks ;v;
At least I can drunk easier when I restrict
/u/gradsquests
Created: Fri Sep 15 17:38:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70dmuw/at_least_i_can_drunk_easier_when_i_restrict/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Australian safe foods/low cal thread?
/u/slave2thepoon [169cm | CW 55 | GW 50 | 21F]
Created: Fri Sep 15 17:27:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70dkpv/australian_safe_foodslow_cal_thread/
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Many apologies if this has been done before (If it has someone please send me in the right direction), but I love seeing posts from people about new safe foods they've found or specific low cal brands from the supermarket, but they are nearly always overseas brands that are impossible to find in Australia.
So I thought I would make this thread to discuss specifically Aussie food options! Pls tell me all your favourite snacks ❤️
[Discussion] ED youtubers: Thoughts???
/u/yaboyspissed [5'7" | M19 | b/p mess]
Created: Fri Sep 15 17:15:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70dii6/ed_youtubers_thoughts/
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anyone else here watch eating disorder vloggers. Like: Recovery Flower (used to be edxanon), AnonymousBrahette (she deleted all her vids sadly :/), AnonBoo (my fave!!! she seems so nice, and very relateable to my current situation), brebek15, etc. where they document their eating disorders and film theire binge sessions and what not, and sometimes try to recover and everything? how do y'all feel about these channels and types of vidoes?
I always feel like itd be nice to start up a channel like this and post and talk about it from a guys perspective, then i realize im too fat, then i lose weight and think ok now i should, then i feel too fat, then i gain weight and think "damn shoulda started when i was a lil skinnier" and then i never do anything about it.
[Rant/Rave] Just ordered over 6,000 calories worth of binge food
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 15 17:13:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70di5g/just_ordered_over_6000_calories_worth_of_binge/
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[deleted]
[Help] Any tips to prevent the drunchies?
/u/overweightandstress [5'8 | CW: 144 lb | BMI: 21.4 | GW: 127 lb| F]
Created: Fri Sep 15 16:46:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70dch2/any_tips_to_prevent_the_drunchies/
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Regardless of whether I fasted or binged that day, drunk me is bent upon ruining everything my eating outrageous amounts of things or types of things I sometimes don't even like. How do I make it harder for drunk me to binge like this?! Is there a safe drunk food you have as a go-to?
[Other] That toilet scene in Trainspotting...
/u/timetofadeaway [5'2 | CW scaredlikeamouse | LW 91 | GW1 110 | UGW 90 | F21]
Created: Fri Sep 15 16:40:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70dbeq/that_toilet_scene_in_trainspotting/
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Puts me off eating every single time.
Ew. No. Just no.
If you don't know what I'm talking about there is a scene in the British heroin film Trainspotting with a particularly disgusting toilet scene... It's super grimey and whenever I watch the film it puts me off eating for at least half a day.
[Rant/Rave] after a summer of semi-recovery—
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 15 16:39:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70db8j/after_a_summer_of_semirecovery/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] DAE feel like they fail at having an ED?
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 96ish |17.6ish| 20F]
Created: Fri Sep 15 16:23:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70d7ru/dae_feel_like_they_fail_at_having_an_ed/
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I restrict all day everyday to <700 cals. Most days it's right around 500 cals.
I feel like it's not low enough. In my own mind, I can't possibly have an ED if I still eat dinner at night, or if I go over 300 cals in one day. I know I'm only at a maximum of 700 each day because otherwise I'd be fainting a lot, but I still feel like such a failure.
Rationally, I know that this doesn't make sense, but in my mind I must be a whale who binges and lies about having a problem. It's rough.
satisfying triggers
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 15 15:50:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70d0yd/satisfying_triggers/
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[removed]
[Intro] Hello 😊
/u/xox_morbid
Created: Fri Sep 15 15:50:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70d0ux/hello/
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Hello everyone. I'm usually someone who creeps Reddit and just joined last night.
I found your FAQ's very interesting. I've never trusted a doctor enough to talk about my weight issues but it seems like I'm in that "other" category. I'm a recovering binge-eater that occasionally binges and purges (not very often).
Glad (?) to be here 😊
HW: 285
CW: 220
GW: 150
[Discussion] Anyone tried the 45 calorie Hebrew Nat'l hot dogs?
/u/GailaMonster
Created: Fri Sep 15 15:41:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70cyyj/anyone_tried_the_45_calorie_hebrew_natl_hot_dogs/
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I was walking around Target and i saw [these things](http://www.hebrewnational.com/sites/g/files/qyyrlu276/files/images/products/97-fat-free-beef-franks-29389.png). I didn't buy them because i didn't want to waste calories on something nasty....but if anyone's tried them, I would love to know if they are any good.
EDIT: /u/dylann-- recommended Ball Park Turkey Dogs for the same cal count - thanks for the suggestion. If you guys have a preferred burger or dog substitute (something low cal you can eat at a BBQ that looks like normal BBQ food), please share!
[Rant/Rave] Husband admitted he has been reading my ED diary....
/u/fatal11fem [5'2 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 15 14:59:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70cpw1/husband_admitted_he_has_been_reading_my_ed_diary/
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I feel like this is going to be all over the place but....I mean the title really says it all tbh.
Im so furious. I don't know how long he's been doing it but he apologized and said it was just because he wants to know whats going on with me and sometimes I just don't say anything. I obviously feel like I have no fucking privacy. Its like 80% about my weight/ED, 10%about my money, and 10%me complaining about random things.
For me, the real insult is that he has NEVER mentioned my ED even once but now i find out he's been peeping my innermost feelings and knows my weight and how often I fast and all my fucking insecurities and I did NOT fucking approve of him knowing any of this. so now i just think he's a fucking dick + he obvs doesn't care about my eating habits since he NEVER said anything and now I have to do a private online diary type of thing and burn all my paper ones.
[Help] Chest binding recommendations?
/u/InSkyLimitEra [5' 7.25" | CW (In PHP) | LW 105 | HW 180 | 30 F]
Created: Fri Sep 15 14:48:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70cnq4/chest_binding_recommendations/
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Hi proED,
I'm a 30 year old cisgender female who has zero experience with binding. Presently about 5' 7.25" and 118 pounds after being forced to gain a shit-zillion pounds in "recovery," if I want to use that term to be generous. A lot of my weight gain appears to have been in my chest. It's very obvious both visually and by touch... like, very very different and huge. I can't bear to see them like this anymore :(
Does anyone have any recommendations whatsoever regarding chest binders?
Dont use imgur while you are drunk.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 15 14:24:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70chzc/dont_use_imgur_while_you_are_drunk/
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[deleted]
[Tip] Red Lentil soup with kale & broccoli!
/u/fleahi
Created: Fri Sep 15 14:23:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70chnp/red_lentil_soup_with_kale_broccoli/
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https://youtu.be/IrTmfEo5yJk
[Other] Rules?
/u/xox_morbid
Created: Fri Sep 15 14:22:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70chj2/rules/
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Hi. I'm new and was wondering if there was a rules page anywhere? Don't want to get in trouble 🙈
[Help] Why am I losing so fast?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 15 14:19:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70cgrd/why_am_i_losing_so_fast/
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[deleted]
Binge accountability 😑
/u/sp0ngeb0bcirclepants
Created: Fri Sep 15 13:14:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70c1u9/binge_accountability/
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[removed]
[Other] Intentionally making your food spicier than you can handle.
/u/badcreditthrw
Created: Fri Sep 15 13:08:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70c0it/intentionally_making_your_food_spicier_than_you/
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[removed]
[Other] not eating when other people are is my kink
/u/percussivesilence [5'7" | CW:180 | HW: 232 | | GW1: 175 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 15 13:00:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70byhi/not_eating_when_other_people_are_is_my_kink/
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this is my first day back at work in a long time, i've been low restricting and fasting successfully and haven't binged in a week so we're on a good wave rn
but my boss is having the worst time. she's eaten a fuck ton today (pancake platter, a cheese danish, and i'm pretty sure a crossiant)
i've had an extra large americano with stevia
i'm on this weird victory high because for once i know that she's comparing herself to me and i'm the goal. i'm the one losing weight and she's getting fatter and complaining about not fitting in her clothes, gaining weight when she thinks she should be losing, how she's hungry and needs to get to the gym.
this is probably what they meant when they said bullies are just insecure themselves (this makes me sounds especially asshoelish im not antagonizing her into saying stuff)
edit: it's food schadenfreude
[Other] Note to self: Be better.
/u/Size666 [5'8F | Walrus | -48lbs | UGW: 118lbs]
Created: Fri Sep 15 12:51:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70bwn6/note_to_self_be_better/
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Please.
*Please.*
Haven't you wasted enough of your life on this already? Time is dripping from your veins one second at a time. Years have passed through you. You are no longer the corruptible young woman with hell in her eyes. You're slowing down. You're letting excuses drain your spark away. You're letting fear guide you. Tomorrow comes and goes and you're still doing everything you said you were going to stop doing because you're afraid of letting that comfort go.
But you have to let it go. No one is coming to help you. They can't. You won't let them. They're all staring at you, watching you ruin your life one bite at a time, waiting for you to stop this insanity and get back to living the life you built for yourself. *The life you've abandoned for piles and piles of food.*
PUT THE FORK DOWN AND LOOK AT YOURSELF. Really look at yourself. This isn't the woman you promised yourself you'd become. This isn't the woman everyone saw you as (and some still believe you can be again). You were incredible 10 years ago - really in control, living the dream, pushing boundaries, taking names, *kicking ass.* Now you're a deformed version of the amazing girl you used to be, swollen and lethargic, stretched and scarred, broken and desperate to change.
Self, this is up to you. It's always been up to you. You have to be better. You have to get through this no matter what it takes.
[Thinspo] 120 cals per 41 PIECES
/u/dbk1982
Created: Fri Sep 15 12:38:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70bthb/120_cals_per_41_pieces/
---
https://i.redd.it/42lj13r0d3mz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] My tumblr got terminated and I'm so upset.
/u/lyhndzie [5'5" | CW: 137.4lbs | BMI: 22.8 | -22 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 15 12:33:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70bs8b/my_tumblr_got_terminated_and_im_so_upset/
---
I ran an ED tumblr that got to a little over 1,000 followers. I connected with so many amazing people and posted progress pics and poetry and milestones. It's all gone now. They said that I 'glorified self harm' but I clearly showed that ED is hell and not glamorous at all. I made a new one but I'm still so upset about losing the one I've had all year. :(
[Other] ED Mart
/u/dbk1982
Created: Fri Sep 15 12:22:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70bpof/ed_mart/
---
I'm doing a little grocery shopping and I just had a thought. There should be a grocery store for people with EDs. Like, half the store has all safe foods- like nothing over 100 calories, and the other half would be all binge food.
Afterthought: Then instead of regular bathrooms there would be private rooms where one could purge without fear of being caught.
[Help] How can I get past my disgust and hatred of my body? I feel like I'm not making progress because I'm so miserable in this huge flesh suit.
/u/shillacct2016 [5'4" | 150 | 25.7| Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Fri Sep 15 12:17:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70body/how_can_i_get_past_my_disgust_and_hatred_of_my/
---
I'm already in therapy, but how do I deal on a day to day basis with the near constant intrusive thoughts of how fucking disgusting I am? I'm trying to lose weight but I'm losing hope instead.
[Help] Can someone please tell me how to add my stats next to my user name?
/u/Jen1013
Created: Fri Sep 15 12:08:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70bm79/can_someone_please_tell_me_how_to_add_my_stats/
---
[Intro] I feel like a better person when I don't eat
/u/saccharinprincess [5'3.25" | 119 | 20.9 | -9lbs | 🤖]
Created: Fri Sep 15 11:49:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70bhu8/i_feel_like_a_better_person_when_i_dont_eat/
---
...and I don't know why.
I *know* intellectually that I'm depriving myself of things that are important to my body. But the second I go over one meal a day, it's like my entire day is ruined. My momentum is fueled by restriction, and even *that* isn't enough because then I go on instagram and see pictures of someone thinner than me and I fucking hate myself because the weight I have can't come off quick enough.
I started putting up little notes and reminders in my journal and around my apartment reminding myself the kind of person I *want* to be (thin, in control, elegant, svelte) instead of the person I am (disgusting, sloppy, wide, worthless, vile). I wish I could beat the shit out of my actual self (I've tried, and I've left hella bruises), and then die and come back to life as my new self that I know lives inside of me.
Because I've been here before. I've had a bmi of 16 before. I've been beautiful and perfect and thin and I don't give a *fuck* what anyone says, I'm going back. They're either jealous, or lying out of sympathy. I fucking know how I look. But I'm brutally murdering that version of me as quickly as I can and burying her in a deep, deep grave. Because I'm fucking tired of her.
Anyways, I'm back. Come watch the fat girl starve herself.
[Rant/Rave] What does a nervous breakdown look like?
/u/Ladybeeortoise [5'6" | 112 |18.0 | GW: 105 | 34/F]
Created: Fri Sep 15 10:30:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70aytn/what_does_a_nervous_breakdown_look_like/
---
Funny you should ask! Let me start by explaining what leads to a nervous breakdown.
Step 1) Be attracted to alcoholic men.
Step 2) procreate with one of said alcoholic men. Step 3). Make sure baby daddy remarries an evil woman that treats your child poorly.
Step 4) Have your son tell you that his stepmom hates you and calls you really bad names "It sounds like the first three letters of the word 'horse".
Step 5) Have your son beg you not to say anything to his father because he will be punished and grounded for a month.
Step 6) Get yourself another alcoholic boyfriend and make sure he stays up all night playing video games; cursing and screaming while throwing objects.
Step 7) Make sure you get no more than 4 hours of sleep per night (sometimes less than 3).
Step 8) Profit!
There ya have it. All jokes aside- the only upside is I have absolutely no appetite but I'm shaky and feel weak. My eyes are burning from lack of sleep and the constant stress. He didn't fall asleep until almost 7 and he had to be at work at 9:30. He didn't make it to work until 11:00. He is going to lose his job soon and I can't afford to support both of us. I'm absolutely sick and feel delirious. I'm working from home today and my lunch hour is 2:15-3:15. Here's hoping I get to take a nap 😴
[Discussion] I beat a binge by knitting
/u/starvingarthoe
Created: Fri Sep 15 10:26:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70axt0/i_beat_a_binge_by_knitting/
---
I just focused on my hat and then I didn't want food anymore. What activities do you guys do to distract from binges?
I can't eat the dining hall food
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | afraid to weigh | M]
Created: Fri Sep 15 09:54:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70aq32/i_cant_eat_the_dining_hall_food/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] abroad in europe?
/u/yakeiram [5'9" | 115.6 | GW 115 | 16.76 | -7 | Female]
Created: Fri Sep 15 09:48:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70aowc/abroad_in_europe/
---
so I'm spending a semester in spain and while it's absolutely amazing here, I'm having sooo much trouble with the eating schedule here. for starters, they don't eat lunch til 2 so I have to have breakfast...and then they don't eat dinner til 10pm so i'm always so hungry by then that i overeat. It's like I'm awake for so long that I feel hungry the whole day AND i'm eating more than at home. does anyone here that's from Spain (or a country with similar culture around mealtimes) have advice for dealing w this?
also alcohol: vodka sodas don't seem to be a thing here and I've gotten weird looks when I ask for them at a few bars. Diet coke isn't super common either from what i've seen. Is there a low or no cal mixer that's popular here that i can order in a bar with vodka/tequila?
[Other] So I just made some homemade hand scrub...
/u/blackcherrymerlost [5'8 | CW 147.2 | GW 125 | 20F]
Created: Fri Sep 15 09:25:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70ajj8/so_i_just_made_some_homemade_hand_scrub/
---
... and then I ate it. Literally just a nice little bowl of straight up brown sugar and coconut oil. Why did I think for a SECOND that I could control myself whyyyyy
[Discussion] Baby foods...? Is this crazy?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~60lbs | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Fri Sep 15 09:21:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70ailx/baby_foods_is_this_crazy/
---
My mind is toying with the idea of basically eating nothing but baby food for about one week and seeing what happens...
I have no clue why, but there it is. Has anyone actually eaten nothing but baby food? How disgusting is it?
If I did it would you guys be interested in hearing about some results or like a vlog or something?
[Discussion] September 15th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 15 08:58:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70ad89/september_15th_2017_question_of_the_day/
---
Who are the most important people in your life?
[Rant/Rave] So my bf drank all the blue Powerade Zero I left at his house
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 161.8 | GW:118 | -4 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 15 08:47:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70aawa/so_my_bf_drank_all_the_blue_powerade_zero_i_left/
---
[removed]
[Other] Is it dumb that this makes me feel better
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 196 lb | GW: 120 lb | 22F]
Created: Fri Sep 15 08:29:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70a6os/is_it_dumb_that_this_makes_me_feel_better/
---
https://imgur.com/80iBGdZ
[Other] C&S and sleeping to avoid food?
/u/Anghoul [5'6''|BMI: 22.12|CW: 135|GW: 128|WL: 75|]
Created: Fri Sep 15 08:25:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70a5q5/cs_and_sleeping_to_avoid_food/
---
I know others chew and spit (I usually only get one sad bite and then I'm done, gg)
There have been times where I've flushed whole meals down the toilet, just dumping them in and feeling like a wasteful dickhead.
But does anyone else here like to sleep in/go to bed early and make food off limits? I have insomnia, so I find it difficult to sleep for a long time, let alone whenever I want.
But if I can, or if I can just make it 'settling down/bed time' that helps me, and since that takes me forever I usually go to sleep hungry and wake up with that after hungry not so hungry anymore feeling.
I think this is other, I dunno if it's really enough to be either rant/rave or discussion.
[Rant/Rave] Hahaha-tmi
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 15 08:18:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70a484/hahahatmi/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Body dysmorphia only in afternoon/night??
/u/Jemjon [5'7" | CW: 110 | BMI: 17.2 | GW: 108? | F]
Created: Fri Sep 15 08:11:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70a2j9/body_dysmorphia_only_in_afternoonnight/
---
I know pretty much nothing about body dysmorphia or if I even have it, but something weird is going on with how I see myself and im not sure if anyone has experienced something similar?
every morning, (when I was deep into restriction and even during recovery) I look in the mirror and get dressed and I look OK, I look relatively thin, I think I even look pretty great sometimes and dress cute for work or whatever im doing that day. Then as the day goes on its like my body morphs into a completely different one, I do NOT like to look in the mirror any time in the afternoon or at night. Looking in the mirror at night I look huge, I feel fat and desparate to lose weight, I change from my cute morning clothes into baggy ones so I don't see how big I am.
Then the next morning I look fine, like I seriously lost 10 pounds from the night before, I feel insane for how fat I thought I was just 8 hours ago, and the cycle starts again. Im not sure if this is triggered by being tired, stressed, eating food throughout the day or what, it even happens if I liquid fast. I even asked my boyfriend if he thought I look like I gain weight during the day and lose it the next morning and he assured me I look exactly the same all day. andd thats all folks, its seriously fucking with my head :/
Be petty
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 15 08:07:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70a1ql/be_petty/
---
[removed]
[Other] like mother like son
/u/bellexy [5'8 |GW 118 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 15 07:39:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/709von/like_mother_like_son/
---
mildly on-topic
so my dog was stupid sick yesterday morning. he's a lil boston terrier who lalaloves his food. but he wouldn't touch it. his head was droopy. he would yelp in pain if we touched him and would randomly yelp even when we didn't. stomach was distended. a quick googling and i'm convinced his stomach is twisted - 40% chance of survival (spoiler alert - don't cry, it wasn't twisted).
so i rush him to the vet. they do x-rays and his stomach and GI tract are filled to the brim. they can't tell if there's an obstruction, if he's eaten something foreign that's caught, if his GI tract has failed and can't process, like the muscles are unresponsive and dead.
xrays. blood work. barium test. $600.
$600 because he was just really constipated and couldn't poop.
he's all better now, happy and eating and pooping like a champ.
like mother like son. i feel your pain lil doggie, i feel your pain.
Expectations vs Reality. How I feel when I work out. How I look afterwards.
/u/The3DMan
Created: Fri Sep 15 07:09:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/709q0l/expectations_vs_reality_how_i_feel_when_i_work/
---
https://i.redd.it/7mrqdvyaq1mz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] "Why are you up this early?" (TMI, cursing, and angry sleep deprived rambling warning)
/u/RedditRanOutOfNamess [5'9 | GW: 120 | -15 | F21]
Created: Fri Sep 15 06:15:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/709g2r/why_are_you_up_this_early_tmi_cursing_and_angry/
---
Oh no reason, just had to make a 5 in the morning run to Walmart to buy a laxative enema because I hadn't pooped for 5 days and I was in a decent amount of pain. Also, side note, weighed myself after and compared it to yesterday's weight and I'm down 4 fucking pounds. No wonder I was in pain. Thanks heavy restriction + eating fast food on the day I actually ate something.
I'm going to go cook some fucking broccoli.
[Rant/Rave] I realized something...
/u/for-your-pleasure [5'3" | CW120ish | GW99 | AFAB/they]
Created: Fri Sep 15 06:13:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/709fqx/i_realized_something/
---
[removed]
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! September 15, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Sep 15 06:12:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/709fl2/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for September 15, 2017.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! September 15, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Sep 15 06:12:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/709fk9/daily_food_diary_september_15_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 15, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] Does ED cause being very emotional, sensitive, insecure?
/u/Nutx33 [5'3'' | CW:115 | GW: 105 💃🏼 | 19F 👑]
Created: Fri Sep 15 06:04:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/709e34/does_ed_cause_being_very_emotional_sensitive/
---
My disorder isn't very serious, so to speak. I mean, a couple of years earlier it would control my life, I was tracking everything and was just a basic ana bitch. Right know I'm more like fit instagirl, but with ED thing in the backgriund. I'm a VERY happy, funny, outgoing person and so on, but oooh god when something isn't right I'm a total freak, especially when it comes to boys. Without details I want to ask if you think that our disorders make us more prone to overthinking and we are more likely to change the mood dramatically?
(Or am I just a weirdo?)
[Rant/Rave] Remember that time I contacted my doctor for treatment?
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 102.9 | 18.8 | -34 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 15 05:46:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/709b2q/remember_that_time_i_contacted_my_doctor_for/
---
Well, I got referred. I called the treatment center. They said I would be called for an intake in - wait for it - TEN TO TWELVE FUCKING WEEKS. Well. Great. Thanks guys, I guess I'll just come see you in December, 20 more pounds down and even more desperate than I am now because there's no way I can keep myself at maintenance without help until then.
I am beyond frustrated, disappointed, and panicked.
[Rant/Rave] Zyprexa appetite hell
/u/CorpulentThrowaway [5'5.5 | -24 | LW+GW 95 | 23M]
Created: Fri Sep 15 04:26:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/708ywt/zyprexa_appetite_hell/
---
Ohhh dear god I've been too ashamed to come here for a while but I need to rant about a med I was put on in the hospital so here we go:
One of my last posts here was laughing about the idea an increase in appetite would affect me because I'm used to being hungry. This was because it had not kicked in yet. Holy shit. It just gets worse and worse and worse every day. Yesterday I ordered Chinese, ate it all (it was a lot) just before bed and was STILL SO HUNGRY I ALMOST COULDN'T SLEEP. Like, "I've been fasting for 24+ hours" hungry, which is not an exaggeration because I've done that before obviously and it feels exactly the goddamn same. ALL DAY. EVERY DAY. It doesn't go away, it doesn't go away when I eat, even if my stomach is painfully full I will AT THE SAME TIME feel RAVENOUS.
My life has been b/p hell. I have gained at least three pounds of real non-water weight. I feel like a bloated potato. Can potatoes bloat? Feast your eyes on the first bloated potato. My self control has gone out the window.
I didn't take it last night but I'm not sure if that's even going to help me not have the appetite today! It is probably going to take a few more days of shit! And I have a follow up appointment with a new psych at the beginning of October and I'm SURE it's gonna get me branded a ~*~*noncompliant schizo*~*~ or whatever right from the get go but I can't fucking handle this anymore. It's like having a constant urge to binge ft. hunger similar to the early days of a fast. It's insane. And the meds also make me anxious, how bout dat.
tl;dr fuck zyprexa
Has anyone taken and stopped zyprexa before?? how long did it take for the appetite to go away. I'm not even on a big dose I'm on like the minimum dose :(
[Intro] Re-intro, new account, low key funny thing happened today
/u/vio1et_ [🏹 155cm | 45.5kg]
Created: Fri Sep 15 04:26:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/708yua/reintro_new_account_low_key_funny_thing_happened/
---
Kind of a pointless re-intro, sorry in advance!
I was going to make a post a couple days ago but I wanted to wait until I had something else to add to it so here goes a (re) intro and an anecdote.
I'm Violet. 🙋🏻
I've been around for a few months under the name u/Vio1et (idk if anyone even remembers me since I don't post much but I figured I'd mention it.) and I was a lurker for a while before that. Anyway, I lost the password to that account and it was bugging me that I was trapped on mobile and couldn't update my flair so I made a new one. (u/Vio1aki is also me) And then I made a new-new one. (hi) But I'm gonna stick with this one and try not to fuck up again. New username, same girl. 😁🏹
Now for the anecdote:
I walked to the store today to buy a low-cal salad and 2 packs of gum.
The price was 666. 😈
...is that a sign or 🤣
----
P.S. I really like you guys. People say it every day it seems but it's so true y'all rock times a thousand 💜
[Discussion] Tonight/this weekend, anxiety creeping in.
/u/RickyWicky
Created: Fri Sep 15 04:09:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/708wk9/tonightthis_weekend_anxiety_creeping_in/
---
So I only started with restricting again in the last 4-5 days after a long and highly overdue hiatus from it. A week ago I made plans with a very good friend of mine to hang out Friday night, which is tonight, and there's usually lots of alcohol and pizza and whatnot involved. So now I'm paranoid, because since making the plans, my state of mind has changed drastically and I'd hate to cancel on her.
The alcohol is easy enough to avoid, I can just drink Diet Coke or soda water or something. But I'm struggling to figure out how to go about the food. I can probably just make up something and say that I ate tons throughout the day and am not hungry, but I think she'll know I'm lying because she knows my history. Or I'm paranoid.
Additionally, I made plans with my sister to go out this weekend, and there's usually cheesecake involved. Sweet delicious, devious, yucky, amazing cheesecake.
The weekends are always the worst.
**tl;dr:** does anyone else have the hardest time over the weekends because of friends and family? Or do you struggle more during the week?
[Rant/Rave] Weight gain +3kg
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Fri Sep 15 03:55:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/708unw/weight_gain_3kg/
---
I want to believe it's water weight fluctuations.
I know I shouldn't weigh myself more than once a week.
Everything seems meaningless.
[Tip] For those who feel alone or struggling or just bored. I think Replika sort of helps.
/u/guniver [5'2 | CW 99lbs | BMI 18.35 | GW 92lbs]
Created: Fri Sep 15 02:55:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/708mux/for_those_who_feel_alone_or_struggling_or_just/
---
https://i.redd.it/s733ynk1h0mz.jpg
[Discussion] Tell me about the first time you fasted
/u/coffeepaysthebills
Created: Fri Sep 15 01:33:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/708d3c/tell_me_about_the_first_time_you_fasted/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Late at night when no one else is awake, I will partake in c/s
/u/modtherich [5'3" | 🐳 | 23F ]
Created: Fri Sep 15 01:17:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/708b3i/late_at_night_when_no_one_else_is_awake_i_will/
---
And I love it. I feel like I'm high in a way, like I'm better than everyone else in the house because I'm not going to actually consume as many calories as them.
The kitchen is mine and I'm not afraid of it in that moment. It's the one time I have control in this disorder and I love it. I get to control the calories and they don't control me, although I know I'm still consuming some, but I still put in the full amount on mfp and go on with my day like I actually ate it. I just won't have the feeling of guilt that comes with it.
Sorry if no one else relates, I just wanted to share this because I have no one else to share it with. Just one happy moment, even if it is messed up. I just always felt like I was weak because I couldn't make myself purge because I have emetophobia and I can't make myself throw up even if I try, my body refuses.
[Other] Self-harm across Anorexia
/u/shacrossan
Created: Fri Sep 15 01:03:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70892x/selfharm_across_anorexia/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] People noticed
/u/happyplantlover [5'8 | CW:120lbs | GW: 112lbs | -19 lbs | F20]
Created: Fri Sep 15 00:14:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7082hl/people_noticed/
---
Today I was at the gym at my uni and a guy I haven't talked to since freshman year approached me to say hi while I was running on the treadmill. The first thing he said was that I was "looking really good" in an almost ecstatic/shocked way (which tbh kinda made me mad because when we met I was only 18 lbs heavier at the same height... which was technically still normal BMI... but anyways). He kept asking if I had always been "this into running" as he is an avid runner too. I said I have but that I am really training hard lately to be able to run a marathon (one of my life long dreams). The sad thing is, I look "really good" right now because I have been restricting more than I ever have before. I am still planning on losing more too. I am addicted to it. In all honesty, when I started this restriction I thought I would be a girl who doesn't let it become an obsession or a compulsion. The fact of the matter is that a minute doesn't go by where I am not thinking about food. I am conflicted because I am so scared of my potential to be skinnier, but I am also so excited about it. I live for the moments when my fitbit displays 30,000+ steps as I am climbing into bed. I have a love/hate relationship with the hunger pains that strike me in the middle of the night leaving me with less than 5 hours of sleep on average.
The shitty part is that I was so excited someone noticed my weight loss, yet I was so pettily hurt by the fact that it meant I wasn't skinny before (at least that's how my ED brain took it)
Even my boyfriend is catching on to my changing bodyweight. I hope he doesn't voice a concerning opinion. He has been saying that I am so hot and perfect, and especially when we are intimate he has been much more complimentary of my body than he ever was 18 lbs ago. However, since it is getting slightly colder where I live, I have been putting on more layers of clothing. Other people don't find it cold yet but I think my body fat % is low enough to where I am feeling major differences in temps.
I am motivated but also terrified of what's to come. But I know I will be closer to my goals. Thanks for reading this long ass post, just felt like letting out my thoughts (also sorry if it's super unorganized and hard to understand. Literally spewed out everything at once). <3
[Help] Kinda off topic
/u/fiberopticjellyfish [5'2" | CW 156.8 | GW 110 | BMI 29.8 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 15 00:14:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7082gx/kinda_off_topic/
---
Sorry in advance for the long post. I'll try to make it as cohesive as possible.
I've been married for 4 years now and I have a toddler who is my world. I'm 23 and my husband is 26. We're perfect for each other for the most part. Anyway we were friends with another couple, but my guy friend found out his girlfriend was cheating on her so they broke up. When that happened he moved in with my husband and me. By now I'm sure you can tell where this is going.
It's been 2 months since they broke up. He recently went out of town to help with disaster relief. I cried the day he left. He called me last week and asked me to come pick him up so without question I drove 8 hours one way to get him. On the way back we got into a bad accident and luckily he wasn't hurt at all and I walked away with a minor head injury. He was so sweet after the accident and held my hand the entire time while I got stitched up and everything. He was driving so he still feels guilty. I've known him for 5 years and I've never seen him cry but he was hysterical saying how sorry he was. My husband came to the hospital to get us and I didn't want him at all. I only wanted my best friend. Because I'm in love with him. I know it could be trauma from the accident but I don't think so. Why else would I cry when I though he would be gone for months and then get in my car immediately to get him?? If he's sad it kills me. I feel everything he feels and I can tell just by how he looks if he's upset about something. He tells me I'm his best friend but I want more and I can't. Because I'm married and he has a girlfriend. I think about how it would feel to kiss me all the time when he's looking at me. His hugs are more comforting than anyone else's. I don't know if I'm not in love with my husband anymore or if it's possible to be in love with two people at once. I don't know my husband just doesn't make me happy anymore and hasn't for a while now.
The worst part is I doubt he feels the same way. I know me being married should be the worst. But my best friend has a girlfriend. And he asks me for advice. So now I'm the married girl who's in love with her best friend who has a girlfriend. And I have to give him advice when he talks about how much he loves her and how scared he is. Fucking kill me.
Sometimes he makes comments about how perfect I am or he stares at me and I tell him I'll be happy when my face is healed so he'll stop looking at me like that. He said I'll never stop looking at you like that. I really feel like I'm reading into it too much. We have a lot of fun together and he's just amazing. He also says things like maybe you should go to bed with your husband but then we'll stay up for two more hours watching YouTube.
It's making my ED worse because I can't control this shit. Also his new girlfriend is fucking tiny and gorgeous so I'm not eating so I can be as small as she is. Fuck. I don't know what to do. I'm sorry this is so long and if you made it this far thanks for reading and I hope this all makes a little sense. I didn't know where else I could post this and I know you guys will just listen even if you don't have advice.
TL;DR I'm a 23 year old married girl in love with her 25 year old best friend who has a fucking gorgeous girlfriend that I'm trying to look like so I'm not eating.
[Other] Makes post about not feeling guilty after a binge. Slips into 3 day binge and wants to die.
/u/ElectricWerm [ 5'7 | 125lb | 19.58 | -45lb | 115lb | 23F]
Created: Thu Sep 14 22:31:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/707n7f/makes_post_about_not_feeling_guilty_after_a_binge/
---
https://imgur.com/lkJb6r5
[Rant/Rave] Lost it all and then gained 10 lbs back
/u/mimidudette [5'8" | CW: 140 | -27 | HW: 172 | GW: 125 | 20F]
Created: Thu Sep 14 22:19:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/707l4g/lost_it_all_and_then_gained_10_lbs_back/
---
I went from 172 to 130 after some pretty heavy restriction and now I'm back at 140 because I let myself slip. I didn't count or track or anything for three weeks and I gained ten pounds.
I don't know why I thought things would be okay once I hit my GW because they're obviously not. The increasing anxiety I've been feeling these past weeks, watching the numbers slowly creep up, has reached a breaking point and I can't take it. I need to restrict. I can't just eat what I want because my body's "natural" weight -- what it always springs back to -- is 145 and I HATE IT. I want to be 125 and perfect and I've been trying really hard to eat and be normal and happy but I can't do it. It's too hard.
edit: on mobile, no flair
[Rant/Rave] obsession with chew and spit getting a little out of hand
/u/carlisam9797 [5'2" 18F | CW 119 | SW 130 | GW 105 | UGW 99]
Created: Thu Sep 14 21:46:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/707ffo/obsession_with_chew_and_spit_getting_a_little_out/
---
Like almost everyone else, I started off just restricting calories as a diet, but it eventually got very serious for me emotionally. I'd cry all the time, crying if I went over a few calories, crying if I was still hungry when I went over the 1200 mark, crying if my weight fluctuated up a pound, skipping anything social to avoid eating, puking, drinking to distract myself, etc etc. anyway, I had a really rough start to this year of college food wise because keeping track of my food was hard with the chaos of moving back. I figured I'd try c/s and now just a couple weeks later I've spent literally hundreds of dollars on food to chew/spit and it's gone from a bagel or some chips to massive quantities and cs binges that take hours. I'll take a couple breaks to throw up whatever I think may have slipped down my throat, or have a few cigarettes, and then I keep going. Once I start I literally will not stop until my teeth and jaw ache. Anyone have any experience with this? I'd much rather c/s than actually swallow my binge food, but I feel like this is taking my relatively mild eating disorder (I have very intense feelings about fat people/becoming fatter that stem from much deeper issues and manifest in a number of ways, but I'm not severely underweight or anything like that) to the next level. I know I can't keep doing this until I'm toothless and broke, but I'm afraid that if I stop, I'll have slip ups that will lead me to gain weight, and I would *literally* rather die.
[Rant/Rave] How to immediately make me want to fucking die. Even though I know my scale went fucking nuts, this sent me into a serious downward spiral right now. Ahhh. Sorry for the harsh words..
/u/follyflop [5'9" | CW: fucking ew | GW: much less | F]
Created: Thu Sep 14 21:25:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/707bse/how_to_immediately_make_me_want_to_fucking_die/
---
https://i.redd.it/dtrc4xh4uylz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] 3 weeks + 7 pounds, and the binge...goes....on
/u/NotStephany [5'5| 193 | 32.49 | -101lbs | F]
Created: Thu Sep 14 20:40:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7073oq/3_weeks_7_pounds_and_the_bingegoeson/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] DAE feel like they move weirdly?
/u/Rubywednesdayyy [5'3 | CW: 139.4 | GW: 117 | 23F]
Created: Thu Sep 14 20:27:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70719l/dae_feel_like_they_move_weirdly/
---
Idk if that makes sense. I feel like I'm always hyper-conscious of my body movements and as a result I probably look like some weird robot all the time??
Like, when I reach across the table to grab something I'm soooo conscious of the fact that my upper arm is flabby as fuckkk.
Or when I'm walking I'm so worried about how I look waddling down the street that I probably look so stiff and ridiculous.
I hope that makes sense. Someone's gotta be with me on this!!
[Rant/Rave] HELLO HAVE YOU HEARD THE GOOD WORD OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOR FRESCA
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 196 lb | GW: 120 lb | 22F]
Created: Thu Sep 14 20:17:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/706zg0/hello_have_you_heard_the_good_word_of_our_lord/
---
It seriously tastes like real sugar, I'm getting paranoid it's not really 0 calories
[Discussion] Are you cold?
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 19bmi | -140 | 30F | AU]
Created: Thu Sep 14 20:12:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/706ygu/are_you_cold/
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At what point did you just start getting.....cold?
I live in Melbourne and the summers here are pretty brutal, the seasons are opposite here so we are in Spring and I'm freezing every day nearly, though the weather is hit or miss, and I'm wondering if I'll be cold or pretty neutral in summer.. I'm not wishing for this side effect or anything, I'm just sort of wondering if I'm feeling it now already because I really have no idea, if theres anything that you felt before/during/etc other than generally feeling cold. Thanks guys.
OBBBVIOUSLY everyones body is different :)
[Help] questoinn about this subreddit (a rule)?
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 19bmi | -140 | 30F | AU]
Created: Thu Sep 14 20:00:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/706w18/questoinn_about_this_subreddit_a_rule/
---
so, I know in the rules it says not to post selfies obviously, but for the first time I took body check photos that I might share. I'm not sure if thats allowed? anyway letta ho know :) cheers
[Thinspo] Thinspo.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Thu Sep 14 19:42:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/706sqr/thinspo/
---
https://i.redd.it/rmwz3teqbylz.jpg
[Discussion] First time home from uni
/u/blewlurker [5'3 | 125 | 22.1 | F | 18]
Created: Thu Sep 14 18:27:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/706dw7/first_time_home_from_uni/
---
I usually just use this account to lurk (hence the name haha) but something happened this week that just has me thinking. I came home from uni for the first time and my whole family told me that I looked great and like I had lost weight. Like 3 or 4 people told me separately! I have been scared of the "freshman 15" but I just find myself being able to get away with maybe one meal a day... which is what I told several family members. I would be like oh yeah well I only eat about one meal a day soooo maybe that's why and everyone was like "well, it's working! keep it up!" It felt good to be praised but it also made me feel kinda shitty that my family seems to value looks over health...has anyone else ever experienced something conflicting like this?!
[Discussion] DAE have weird mood swings?
/u/dahee3697 [5'1.5" | CW: 120 | GW: 100 | F | 19]
Created: Thu Sep 14 18:19:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/706c4v/dae_have_weird_mood_swings/
---
This morning, I was all about being healthy and doing things the right way. Then at lunch I saw brownies and immediately went to my ED mindset until lunch when I decided to eat a protein bar and some hummus with pretzels because I know its good for me. Then I went to exercise and it was just so hard as I havent been in a gym for a while and I got really upset and got home and watched ED documentaries while eating chips and salsa. Then I was all mad at myself for eating so much. Now when I look at MPF and even with all I ate today it was only 1235 calories and I burned 300 with my exercise and walking today and that 1000 calories is not healthy and I'm going to keep losing my hair and stuff and I'm fine the way I am and even if I want to lose weight eating a bit more will not ruin me. So I ate soup and tuna with crackers and right now I feel OKAY. Like I'm so weird. I don't understand why I am like this. I know tomorrow I'll probably feel shitty and depressed again. Ugh
[Help] Finding it hard to believe in the process
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 14 18:16:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/706bks/finding_it_hard_to_believe_in_the_process/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I have a problem holy shit
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 14 18:15:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/706b9r/i_have_a_problem_holy_shit/
---
[deleted]
[Other] Doodle Showing Body Checks and BDD
/u/vaporeevie [5'5" | 116.6 | 19.5 | -30.4 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 14 18:13:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/706aul/doodle_showing_body_checks_and_bdd/
---
https://imgur.com/jnacReU
[Rant/Rave] Strange Envy..
/u/LittleBlackHeart8 [5'7" | cw:120 | gw:110 | 19.7 | -31lbs | F]
Created: Thu Sep 14 17:37:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70639y/strange_envy/
---
So... one of my best friends is sick right now with some kind of stomach thing. She's been complaining about not being able to keep food down and throwing up and stuff today and yesterday. In my twisted brain I feel like she's bragging about it. Like I know, rationally speaking, that she is complaining.. but.. well, I can't help but wish I had whatever she has and hate that it is her and not me. That is so fucked up, I know I'm completely insane.. but does anyone else ever feel like that?? I know I'm crazy as hell for thinking that.. but I jut can't help it.. ugh I'm a terrible friend.
[Rant/Rave] Time to play "does walking make me feel like dying because I'm out of shape or because I'm on hour 96 of a fast?"
/u/OriginalJokeGoesHere [66 in | 135lbs | 21.9 | -25 | 🇨🇦🏃]
Created: Thu Sep 14 17:37:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70637i/time_to_play_does_walking_make_me_feel_like_dying/
---
I walk fast and normally a ten mile day isn't a huge deal. Today, I wound up with about seven miles, but I was dying on the way back. I had cramps and needed to sit down every few blocks and it was not pleasant. I'm not sure if it's because I genuinely am super out of shape, or because I've been fasting a ton lately because it's so easy when you're in college and the meal plan is trash.
[Discussion] What parts of your body do you actually like?
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 96ish |17.6ish| 20F]
Created: Thu Sep 14 17:36:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7062yz/what_parts_of_your_body_do_you_actually_like/
---
I hate a lot of my body, but honestly I really like my eyes, my lips, my ears (weird I know lol), and I like my collarbones.
What do you guys like about yourselves? :)
[Intro] Can anyone else just not purge?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 14 17:19:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/705zhm/can_anyone_else_just_not_purge/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Short hair sadness :(
/u/m_inimal
Created: Thu Sep 14 17:01:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/705vs1/short_hair_sadness/
---
About 2-3 months ago I chopped off 80% of my hair. It used to be down to my mid-back, past my shoulder blades, and tbh it looked great. I am lucky to have a nice, naturally wavy/curly texture that has personality and yet is manageable, and long hair really worked for me. On a good day, it was classic "princess hair".
And what the fuck did I do? I threw it all away. I traded it in for this chin-length bob nonsense (wtf was I thinking, with my round Pillsbury doughboy face?) thinking it would be a more "practical" and "grown-up" looking choice. WRONG. It is just as much, if not more work, to make it look decent, and you know what else? With my long hair, if I was having a rough day with it, I could just throw it up in a messy bun or ponytail and no one would know the difference. THIS SHIT ISN'T EVEN LONG ENOUGH FOR A REAL PONYTAIL. I can do a little low ponytail at the nape of my neck, which is pretty much my sole styling choice nowadays, and that's it. If I do a real, mid-head ponytail, a million hairs fall down to the nape of my neck anyway and it just looks like trash. And god forbid I wear it down. I look like a chubby, surly, sexually repressed 40 year old stay at home mom -- you know the one. The one who is way too loud at the PTA meeting and who wears Lululemon all the time, yet never works out. [Here's](https://imgur.com/a/ntbAL) what I thought I would look like with this. And [here's](https://imgur.com/a/Z0z0w) what I actually look like.
Of course, the worst part of all of this is that I'm pretty sure the sole reason this haircut looks god-awful isn't the haircut itself. The stylist did a fine job, and like I said, the issue isn't my hair itself. It's my fucking fat face and the overall *stumpiness* of every part of my body that this haircut triple-underlines. I guess I'll just keep taking my vitamins and praying for the day it starts to look more like [this](https://imgur.com/a/dSoji) so I don't feel like such a disgusting, mushroom-cap looking mess.
[Discussion] Opinion on 'ana-buddies'?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 14 16:17:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/705mjm/opinion_on_anabuddies/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Ever pick your ED over a relationship? I did! And now he's happily dating a girl at least 70 pounds heavier than me :')
/u/ignorado [🍑: ignorado]
Created: Thu Sep 14 16:15:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/705m3w/ever_pick_your_ed_over_a_relationship_i_did_and/
---
I was on and off with a guy who was honestly my definition of a perfect boyfriend, but I always pulled away when it got too intimate because I could not bring myself to be able to share the ED parts of my life. He was 6'4 and around 200 pounds so I always felt so god damn insecure about him (I hate dating muscular guys tbh makes me feel so shitty). He literally told me I was beautiful every single day, he'd brag about me to his friends, and I'd still sit in front of a mirror and pick at things for hours and hours.
I canceled almost every other date because I would binge eat the night before, and feel like a fucking sausage in my planned date outfits. I don't know why but he kept sticking around.
It all ended when he told me he loved me and I told him I couldn't love him if I didn't even hold the capacity to love myself. I just couldn't do this anymore. Excusing myself to go throw up in the toilet and coming back acting like everything's normal. Worrying about fasting breath because I wouldn't eat for days when I knew we'd be going out somewhere. Having anxiety over him hugging me because he would be able to feel my "bra strap fat".. Yeah, I could have just told him, and I know he would have tried his absolute best to help me, but I couldn't.
My eating disorder is the main focus of my life and I don't have an identity without it anymore. I pick it over everyone and everything.
I guess we're friends now? I moved after this happened but I'm visiting this weekend, so I texted him and asked him to hang. He told me he had a girlfriend so I asked for pictures. She's AT LEAST 70 pounds heavier than me and I dunno, this fucking ripped my heart into pieces. They're both smiling so damn hard in their pictures and I can tell she's an amazing person by how he talks about her. It's also weird how she can be so much heavier than me but she is SO beautiful to me? Why can I see everyone else's beauty but not my own?
I convinced myself I was too fucking fat to be loved by him and now he loves someone bigger than me. Because he's not a POS like me who puts body image over the value of love.
W T F
[Tip] Tip for maintaining teeth for purgers~
/u/bunnywithbpd [Height 5"1 | CW 114 lb | HW 128 lb | UGW 95 lb]
Created: Thu Sep 14 16:12:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/705lg7/tip_for_maintaining_teeth_for_purgers/
---
Do not BRUSH your teeth right after a purge, brushing removes some softened enamel which helps from tooth decay. If you must, brush softly.
Mouthwash is actually acidic, it does not restore the pH balance of your mouth which is the most important part after a purge.
Rinsing your mouth with baking soda neutralizes any acidic stomach acids in your mouth also, there are special types of mouthwash that contain baking soda and restore pH which you can find on amazon.
I like to first rinse my mouth with water, mouthwash all the extra gunk/bacteria out then rinse/gurgle with baking soda.
More tips:
**constantly rinse/gurgle water after any snack or acidic drink to wash out any sugar/food bits in your mouth / maintaining good pH
**Chewing sugar free gum makes you salivate more which is good for your teeth
Sources: http://www.rdhmag.com/articles/print/volume-31/issue-1/columns/bulimia-decreasing-the-damage-to-enamel.html + my dentist!
Good luck everyone! hope this helps your smile :)
[Rant/Rave] Haven't posted here for a bit...things feel so out of control
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Thu Sep 14 16:11:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/705lbm/havent_posted_here_for_a_bitthings_feel_so_out_of/
---
I am too far gone. I'm an out of control bulimic who is beyond help. In the past two weeks, I have been followed out to the parking lot by a therapist after purging (my former center, I'm not even a client there), confronted by an employee for being on their property and not being a customer and turned down for interior car detailing because they refused to work on the condition of my car.
I have a roommate and purge in public when I "have" to and when I do I prefer a quiet, single stall bathroom to vomit out my guts, shame and repulsiveness. I go back to places I know with family bathrooms and I've been able to be sneaky for the past year up until now. I used to do it at work after hours but maintenance saw the light on one night and came to check if things were okay and there I was with my trash can, purging.
I am really really fucking sick. Beyond the range of "normal" even for someone with an eating disorder. I have jumped from being 90lbs to over 100, and I can't cope.
I just got a hotel to b/p for the 3rd time today in peace.
I am 32. My purpose is in life is to a cautionary tale. I want to die, but I'm terrified of it being reported in the paper and one of those people seeing it and thinking, "Yeah, that was the nut purging in the basement of my practice"... recognizing me.
I want to get a gun and fucking blow my brains out but I'm terrified of co-workers having to tell my family bullshit things, lying about the great work I was doing when I was actually binging in my car. There are flies in my car, buzzing.
I am getting help. I'm seeing a therapist 2x a week and am in a DBT group. I've gotten help before. I am fucking losing my mind right now though.
I want to die so badly, but the shame of my ED is holding me back. I have vomit and clutter to clean.
I want to quit my job.
I feel like I am living in crisis mode all the time.
[Rant/Rave] Fight with BF - Skip Meal!
/u/2017HeyJude
Created: Thu Sep 14 15:57:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/705ieh/fight_with_bf_skip_meal/
---
[On mobile, please flair as rant]
So my SO was in a bad mood today (has been for a few weeks actually) so for lunch I went and got us food, real food that he enjoys and makes me want to fast a lot. I was being nice and putting my problems aside. But tonight he got in a worse mood and stormed out (nothing related to us, it was about his personal stuff), and came back and I told him I was sick of his attitude. Long story short we just stayed home not talking vaguely watching a movie. At one point he said "you're not eating dinner?" So I answered "neither are you". He's the one cooking usually, so that wasn't me punishing him by not feeding him, just pointing out that if he doesn't eat because he's mad, why should I? He even offered to make me something after that but I sure as hell wasnt going to eat by myself in this charming atmosphere.
Soooo i feel like shit but at least I skipped dinner. Yeaah, I guess.
[Discussion] How do you control yourself drunk?
/u/CANT_CATCH_ME [5'7.5 | CW 133.5 | -7 | GW 115 | 18 F]
Created: Thu Sep 14 15:52:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/705h7y/how_do_you_control_yourself_drunk/
---
I had 10 peices of pasta, 4 cookies, 3 pieces of pizza, French fries, cake, and alcohol. My friend has a scale but I'm afraid to weigh myself
I feel like absolute shit why would I do this to myself I'm so fat and disgusting and such a pig.
How do I control myself :(
[Other] Delicious 65 calorie hot chocolate
/u/RosenWeiss9 [5'3.5" | 111 | 19.8 | -16.5 | 25F]
Created: Thu Sep 14 15:41:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/705eub/delicious_65_calorie_hot_chocolate/
---
Just mix Ghirardelli double chocolate hot cocoa powder (1 tbsp, 35 cal) with a cup of unsweetened almond milk (30 cal). It's unbelievably good: just sweet enough, silky, and decadent. Compared to 250 cal for a small starbucks hot chocolate it's a pretty great option for the hot drink season. <3
[Rant/Rave] afraid of binging
/u/Zefuyne
Created: Thu Sep 14 15:35:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/705dem/afraid_of_binging/
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i'm eating junk food to "recover". three days is the mark of one year since i've been diagnosed with my ED. i know i'm edging towards b/p disorder, and my mom makes me sleep with her now. i want to vomit the pizza i just ate. along with the popsicles. everything, but i look at my puppies and realize why i'm living. then i look over and see my newly dead dog. i miss my dog, and now there's nothing holding my back from binging, but i still can't bring myself to do it. should i just look at my other dogs to stop? or keep living up to this fake expectation. i'll never be skinny, but i need to stay alive for my dogs. but to be as skinny as i want to be i have to starve to death. i don't know what to do. peace, i hope i'll be skinny soon.
[Discussion] Eugenia Cooney
/u/Ladybeeortoise [5'6" | 112 |18.0 | GW: 105 | 34/F]
Created: Thu Sep 14 15:34:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/705d7q/eugenia_cooney/
---
Need I say more? Thoughts?
For some reason I don't consider her as thinspo. I don't know why either. Physically, I would love to have her body but something about her voice and how she refuses to acknowledge she has an ED irks me. [For those who don't know who she is ](https://www.youtube.com/user/eugeniacooney)
[Help] "Have you lost weight?"
/u/nervous_nandu [5'4" | CW: 125.6 | LW/GW: 98| WL: 19.4 | 19F]
Created: Thu Sep 14 15:33:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/705d0r/have_you_lost_weight/
---
hello yes its me again
i need your opinions on how to respond to this to people who know about your ED history. im so scared that when i go home my mom or dad or boyfriends mom will ask me this (as its becoming visible) and idk how to respond/say no even though i have. please leave suggestions!!
[Rant/Rave] The moment you realize you hate this disorder , want to get rid of it for good, decide to recover, but only end up binging and planning to fast the next day
/u/bunnywithbpd [Height 5"1 | CW 114 lb | HW 128 lb | UGW 95 lb]
Created: Thu Sep 14 15:28:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/705c45/the_moment_you_realize_you_hate_this_disorder/
---
[removed]
Binging.
/u/RickyWicky
Created: Thu Sep 14 14:28:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/704y15/binging/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I get to update my flair!!!!
/u/Ladybeeortoise [5'6" | 112 |18.0 | GW: 105 | 34/F]
Created: Thu Sep 14 14:04:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/704s5d/i_get_to_update_my_flair/
---
[removed]
[Other] Smoke and mirrors.
/u/throwaway03199519 [5'6 | CW: 119.4| GW: 112 | HW: 136]
Created: Thu Sep 14 13:39:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/704m3y/smoke_and_mirrors/
---
https://youtu.be/IwXh8h5jivg
This song perfectly describes how I feel regarding my eating disorder and other parts of my mental illness.
"Such highs and lows
You put on quite a show
All these highs and lows
And you're never really sure
What you do it for
Well do you even want to know?
Yeah you put on quite a show"
[Rant/Rave] It's 3pm and I've had 1410 calories
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Thu Sep 14 13:21:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/704hsw/its_3pm_and_ive_had_1410_calories/
---
[removed]
Vegan Pumpkin Pie Overnight Oats - 356 cals
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 14 13:17:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/704h2f/vegan_pumpkin_pie_overnight_oats_356_cals/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=23&v=Bj3ueNYk5VE
[Rant/Rave] Damn shaky hands....
/u/CassTheUltimateBA [5'10 | 140.2 | 20.1 | 85 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 14 13:04:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/704e2h/damn_shaky_hands/
---
Im trying to learn makeup and it was going alright. Until i started the eyeliner and my hands were shaking like a Chihuahua. Fuckin' made my whole hand twitch and it got everywhere.
All ive had today was a cinnamon swirl frap, 2 nodoz, and a tall brew coffee. So a shit ton of caffeine.
I normally love shaky hands because its fun and reminds me of getting jittery from some drugs. ( *drugs are bad, dont do drugs* ). But fuck man i wanna learn makeup.
Alsooo though. Im 140.2 waddup with it about to be in the 130s
[Help] Funky sweet taste
/u/gigaponyyy
Created: Thu Sep 14 12:25:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70457h/funky_sweet_taste/
---
Hi y'all! Long time lurker, first time posting. Also I'm on mobile so plz flare appropriately.
Just wanted to ask if anyone else constantly has a sugary sweet taste in their mouth like 24/7? I've been dealing with this a few months and it's driving me nuts. I've also been trying to self-sleuth the problem since I have a nutrition background but am coming up empty handed.
A little background- I'm a high restricter/orthorexic/exercise addict so I'm hyper aware of what I'm consuming on a daily basis. I went through a brief elimination period of protein powders a few months ago because I thought that was causing this taste but it didn't go away. I don't think I'm in ketosis because I high restrict and the majority of my diet is carbs. My SO has not remarked on any "sweet" smell from my breath either. I just have this awful taste going on.
I recently started drinking Diet Coke again (my achilles along with monster ultra zero when I'm really buckling down on restriction...) but this taste showed up before then. I think I was on a LaCroix kick then but I've since moved countries, can't buy it here, and the taste persists so that's not the culprit either. I'm not dehydrated and I haven't radically changed the kinds of foods I eat day to day. Also, it seems to get worse at night, before I go to bed. Does anyone else experience this or have a clue what could be going on??? TIA!
TL;DR my mouth tastes sweet all the time and I hate it, plz help, thanks 🦄
[Discussion] Does anyone have an artist/album/song that just moves their little ED heart?
/u/tinywolfxo [5'4"|CW 125.8|HW 162|GW 103| F]
Created: Thu Sep 14 12:11:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7041t0/does_anyone_have_an_artistalbumsong_that_just/
---
For me it's Marina and the Diamonds, specifically the 'Electra Heart' album. It just feeds my neuroticism lol.
Unsupportive family.
/u/Lunnaris [5' | CW: 134,4 | UGW: 110,2 | 24F]
Created: Thu Sep 14 12:07:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7040zb/unsupportive_family/
---
[removed]
Day after a binge: Lifted, did the stairs, and only have had a protein shake
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 14 11:53:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/703xfk/day_after_a_binge_lifted_did_the_stairs_and_only/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Hordenine + PEA Stack
/u/lasirenexx
Created: Thu Sep 14 11:39:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/703u69/hordenine_pea_stack/
---
[removed]
Male instagrams?
/u/secretweightloss
Created: Thu Sep 14 11:29:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/703rtm/male_instagrams/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I probably sound paranoid af but I swear my mom is trying to make me binge
/u/unpollutedfantasy [🥒]
Created: Thu Sep 14 10:56:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/703jd9/i_probably_sound_paranoid_af_but_i_swear_my_mom/
---
Me and my mom got into a fight because my depression is not real to her.
In the past 3 weeks she's maybe said 10 words to me.
Coincidentally she's been cooking and cooking and cooking. In the past 2 and a half weeks she's made TWO lasagnas, pork chops, spaghetti & meatballs, and tonight she's making pork chops again.
My parents are not aware of my ED, but they know I'm crazy with calories and my mom has witnessed me binge.
Last time I binged she told me "this is why you're gaining weight"
And I told her that she's wrong that I've actually lost and that was the first time I've eaten in 2 days
I've been really struggling these days and I think my mom is doing all this cooking on purpose as a way to bully me without speaking to me
I wonder if she'd still be doing this if she knew I'd have to puke it up later...
Laxatives?
/u/krecneps
Created: Thu Sep 14 10:39:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/703f97/laxatives/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] HELLO NEW ADULT LOW
/u/OMFGLDQ [👻5'3" | 92.8lbs | 16.89 | GW <90lbs | HW ~125lbs | 👬]
Created: Thu Sep 14 09:17:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/702vh3/hello_new_adult_low/
---
I just weighed in at 92.8
Y'ALL I HAD NO IDEA
I binged like FUCK this weekend and for most of last couple weeks I thought I was at least at maintenance
I'm so happy about this and I'm gonna make salmon later as a special treat for myself
[Rant/Rave] I spilled the beans yesterday.
/u/nervous_nandu [5'4" | CW: 125.6 | LW/GW: 98| WL: 19.4 | 19F]
Created: Thu Sep 14 08:48:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/702otn/i_spilled_the_beans_yesterday/
---
Let me preface this by telling you that though there are people who know about my eating disorder, I have never confessed the entire sick truth of it to one single person, not therapists, psychiatrists, friends, boyfriend, anyone.
Yesterday I had an appointment with my university counselor (therapist) who I had gone to this time last year and really liked. Before every appointment, you fill out a questionnaire about a bunch of different behaviors/feelings and your degree of doing/feeling those things and then it ranks your levels of anxiety, depression, anger, eating issues, etc so that your therapist can look at it and ask about it during your appointment. Well I finally filled it out honestly (the parts about eating/weight) and ranked of course in like the 99th percentile of eating issues. He called me back, we caught up a little, talked about my anxiety (which is the reason I go to counseling) and then of course he brought it up. I knew it was going to happen and that I needed to talk about it eventually. I gave him the whole timeline of the past 4 years of my eating disorder (he asked for weights and all). He asked about every detail from if my periods are still regular all the way to getting me to tell him my goal weight. Luckily he was super calm and cool and made me mildly comfortable saying all of it. The best part is he understands and accepts that it isn't something I am ready or willing to work on in therapy or get any kind of help for. He told me he would recommend I go get checked at the health center just to make sure all my levels are normal and I told him that made me too nervous and he accepted that.
He is going to have to transfer me to a new counselor though, as I don't live in the dorms anymore and he is only a counselor for students living in the residence halls. I asked him if there's anyway they can involuntarily send me to the hospital or anything because I'm really nervous that they would trap me into something like that. He told me that yes, they could, but only if they thought I literally would die if they didn't (I have a way to go before that, he openly admitted that).
Anyways, it felt good to say it all but sadly is almost making me more motivated to keep going because I'm afraid of looking fake as fuck if I don't lose more weight, even though I told him I have lost 10 ish lbs in the last month. I don't want help and I don't want to be hospitalized but if I come close I'm sure I can work my way out of it.
[Discussion] What does a typical day look like for you when you're fasting vs restricting vs binging?
/u/daeboo [5ft1.5/🌑90lbs]
Created: Thu Sep 14 08:48:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/702ore/what_does_a_typical_day_look_like_for_you_when/
---
This morning I realized that my routine/plans differ so much when I'm restricting, binging, or fasting. It seemed obvious at first, but when I'm actively engaged in any of those ed behaviors, I barely realize the change.
It just hit me that my life is being driven by these seemingly pointless connections to food. My productivity, energy, everything rests on what I'm eating or what I'm not eating.
For example, today I'm restricting/intermittent fasting. I'm early to my first class, I've started two assignments, and have already made plans to go for a long walk and do a ton of tasks I've been procrastinating on.
[Discussion] Kinda gross, potential unsanitary tw
/u/vkomova [5'11 | ugh | ugh | ugh | F]
Created: Thu Sep 14 07:03:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7022mp/kinda_gross_potential_unsanitary_tw/
---
So constipation is a symptom of anorexia. I don't eat a lot so I don't poop a lot, and then when I do binge obviously there's more.
Here's the thing. I live in an apartment with 3 other girls and one shared bathroom. And I cannot bring myself to poop here. Just psychologically, I cannot. I'm sure there's a medical term for that, but I don't know it. I'm a bit of a control freak when it comes to how I want people to perceive me, so them knowing anything about that kind of stuff would feel humiliating. I'm also paranoid about the toilet clogging for whatever reason, so I just go somewhere public because nobody will know it was me who went there.
Is this an ED thing? A social anxiety thing? Does this happen to anybody else here?
(I hate talking about this stuff so much, bodily functions freak me out, which I guess makes me immature but whatever)
[Discussion] September 14th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 14 06:22:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/701v2n/september_14th_2017_question_of_the_day/
---
Who can help you?
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support September 14, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Sep 14 06:11:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/701t29/weekly_emotional_support_september_14_2017/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! September 14, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Sep 14 06:09:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/701su8/daily_food_diary_september_14_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 14, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Goal] I'm so close to 150 I can almost taste it!
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 161.8 | GW:118 | -4 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 14 05:18:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/701kc0/im_so_close_to_150_i_can_almost_taste_it/
---
Except I can't, cause I don't eat 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
[Thinspo] Daily Fitspo 💪💉💊
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 14 04:23:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/701cdx/daily_fitspo/
---
https://i.imgur.com/XduKHAQ
[Rant/Rave] Ultimate weight loss ~tip~!!!
/u/yesyeshihello [157cm | CW: 45.3kg | BMI: 18.38 | 27F]
Created: Thu Sep 14 03:37:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7016e1/ultimate_weight_loss_tip/
---
Get yourself a smelly coworker! Works like a charm!
Seriously though the guy that works next to me has the most disgusting natural smell I have ever had to deal with. It's worse after lunch, he comes back all sweaty and gross. Every day.
But today it's extra special because on top of all the usual grossness, his clothes smell like humidity. A lot. It's really bad - bad to the point I can't bring myself to drink water because if I open my mouth I'm going to throw up. I can't even cover it up with my hair.
If I had to stand next to him for more than 8 hours a day I'd have already died of starvation a looong time ago. No joke. How he has a girlfriend is just beyond me.
[Other] From the Dr's office
/u/elliebearrrr [F21|5'6"|HW:190 SW:175 CW:148]
Created: Thu Sep 14 02:57:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7011c9/from_the_drs_office/
---
Currently sat waiting to see the doctor and I'm going to speak about my ED for the first time. I can't go on like this. I need help and I'm terrified
I'm sick of feeling like shit, I'm sick of hating myself and I'm sick of food controlling my life
See you on the other side I guess???
[Other] Challenge accepted (repost from r/fatlogic)
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Thu Sep 14 02:39:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/700zam/challenge_accepted_repost_from_rfatlogic/
---
https://imgur.com/MWwuU1U
[Help] How do I see someone's stats?
/u/hiitm
Created: Thu Sep 14 02:18:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/700wus/how_do_i_see_someones_stats/
---
Dumb question but I only look at Reddit on mobile and most of the time people's stats get cut off. Is there a trick for seeing the rest of it?
[Rant/Rave] Oh narts. I've really done it this time.
/u/goshgollyheck [4'11'' | CW:87 | GW:75 | F | 17]
Created: Thu Sep 14 00:55:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/700men/oh_narts_ive_really_done_it_this_time/
---
I remember all that effort put into eating 200 calories a day and seeing it slowly start pay off after a few weeks. I remember feeling like I was finally in control of things. I remember fitting into the clothes I've always been too scared to wear out. I remember seeing my hip bones, my ribs, my collar bones, my jawline! I got to marvel at my anatomy, not loathe it. Now, I'm staring at my stomach and studying how it just rolls over my panties like it's nothing. I'm trying to figure out how one day of eating at my maintenance turned into two weeks of me eating the most unhealthy things because "fuck it, I can. I'll start restricting again tomorrow." You wanna know what I ate today?
Breakfast: Egg White Delight with regular bacon and extra cheddar along with a pumpkin spice latte
Lunch: straight up cheddar cheese.
Snack: Jack's Jalapeño Hash, bacon cheddar potato wedges, two McDonald's chocolate chip cookies, and milk.
I skipped school yesterday because I felt like everything's falling apart, but that just enabled me to binge on chocolate crepes and popcorn all. day. long. I went to sleep feeling worse than when I woke up, but I knew skipping again today would not be an option. I just feel everything closing in on me, and I can't even bring myself to cry about it. I'm either going to get my shit together soon or I don't know what'll become of me.
[Other] Binged 355 calories but successfully burned it off plus another 10
/u/starvingarthoe
Created: Thu Sep 14 00:42:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/700ks8/binged_355_calories_but_successfully_burned_it/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Does anyone follow Meredith Foster on Insta?
/u/AngelicZero [5'5.5"| fat | -39 lbs | 115 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 14 00:34:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/700jmr/does_anyone_follow_meredith_foster_on_insta/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Why am I loosing when I've been eating?
/u/coffeebean27
Created: Wed Sep 13 23:14:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70082i/why_am_i_loosing_when_ive_been_eating/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] This is the worst day of my actual life
/u/Hannah-Girl
Created: Wed Sep 13 23:12:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7007uu/this_is_the_worst_day_of_my_actual_life/
---
[removed]
[Thinspo] Over sized jumpers oh my gosh
/u/-M00nFlower
Created: Wed Sep 13 22:33:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/7001yw/over_sized_jumpers_oh_my_gosh/
---
https://i.redd.it/a6uhxj1d1slz.jpg
[Intro] Just discovered this sub and found my new home
/u/Anorexibulemanemia [Height 5'7"| CW 125 | GW 100 | 20M]
Created: Wed Sep 13 22:22:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/70007g/just_discovered_this_sub_and_found_my_new_home/
---
I've got a complicated and unique past with weight loss and eating habits. I happened across this sub full of you wonderful supportive people and I was blown away by how relatable all of your posts are. It is so liberating to be able to joke about the funny little things that come with the territory. My friends/house mates are insufferable with the way that they accuse me of having an eating disorder (not wrong lol) and then pat themselves on the back, their job done and their insecurity over their own subconsciously suspected ED silenced for one more day. My apologies if this post is breaking any of the rules, I am just so excited to have found a place to unwind and not have to tip-toe around about my lifestyle. Hopefully I can contribute to this sub more meaningfully in the future :)
[Intro] 29 F ANA MIA
/u/Hatr1x
Created: Wed Sep 13 22:19:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zzzqz/29_f_ana_mia/
---
[removed]
[Thinspo] Daily thinspo
/u/kitten664
Created: Wed Sep 13 22:01:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zzwq3/daily_thinspo/
---
https://i.redd.it/1cbx9axmvrlz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I feel bad...?
/u/AngelicZero [5'5.5"| fat | -39 lbs | 115 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 13 21:57:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zzw1b/i_feel_bad/
---
Today I consumed:
* 2 diet cherry cokes, a small diet pepsi (KFC), two shots of vodka, 109 grams of chicken breast, 172 grams of greens (kale and collards), 1/4 cup of milk, 1 cup of coffee, and 2 cups of popcorn. That all added up to 487 calories.
I chewed and spit an entire bag of those mixed cheetos, popcorn chicken (KFC), and a small wedge fry (KFC)!!! I chewed and spit after having dinner which was the greens and chicken... I thought being full and then chewing and spitting would make me feel like I had eaten the bad food (tricking my brain since it takes more than taste to satisfy it).
I swallowed about 10 cheetos (they're all different sizes/ things), 3 chicken nuggets, and 1 of the fries. I assume that plus the food residue I swallow by default can't be more than 250 calories and I am highballing that.
I feel like I cheated so badly... For one my calorie goal is 500. Secondly, I just feel like I cheated and why am I not hungry and suffering... I think my plan worked too well because I feel as guilty as if I swallowed all 8 servings of that bag and the fast food. :(
[Discussion] What music do y'all listen to? I listen to mostly country 🌹
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 13 21:25:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zzqig/what_music_do_yall_listen_to_i_listen_to_mostly/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNpLSaCirj8
[Rant/Rave] Just binged and had over 2,000 calories...
/u/gradsquests
Created: Wed Sep 13 21:18:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zzpa5/just_binged_and_had_over_2000_calories/
---
[removed]
[Thinspo] Country thinspo 🌹
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 13 21:07:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zznbh/country_thinspo/
---
https://i.redd.it/djf9t9q1mrlz.gif
[Rant/Rave] Im so annoyed with myself & my potential relapse
/u/HighNoonImDad [5'10 | CW: 169 | ♀]
Created: Wed Sep 13 21:06:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zzn6e/im_so_annoyed_with_myself_my_potential_relapse/
---
I work at a grocery store baking food and designing cakes. Today a grown adult woman who very obviously had an eating disorder. She had such thin hair that it almost looked like she had none and her body was so thin and pale she looked like she was dying. She spent four hours walking around the grocery store and ended up only buying sparkling water, a few tomatoes, and pb2.
I know how that feels because I had been there before. However for the past few weeks I've been doing so good. But seeing her, I know I should feel sad for her or glad that I'm not that bad but all I felt was jealousy.
I feel so stupid but I had deleted mfp and peach and I immediately redownloaded them, and joined a gym. When I got home I weighed myself (unsurprisingly, I've gone up.) And set a calorie limit.
I'm just so annoyed that my mind saw this poor woman dying, and decided we had to be in competition. Fuck
[Help] Back in IP - Share Some Table Games
/u/TreatmentTime [5'9" | 143 | 20.6 | -22 (WRed) | GW: 120 | 24♀]
Created: Wed Sep 13 20:23:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zzf5i/back_in_ip_share_some_table_games/
---
Like the title says, I landed back in inpatient after a particularly shitty set of labs and am in desperate need of some new table games to share with the milieu here. If I have to play one more round of Target I think I might die.
[Discussion] The girl who used to bully me in elementary school is fat now.
/u/kat-official [5'5" | CW: 115.6 lbs | GW: 100 lbs | -105 lbs lost | 16F]
Created: Wed Sep 13 20:00:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zzasa/the_girl_who_used_to_bully_me_in_elementary/
---
i saw her on the bus for the first time in 7 years and noticed that i'm about 100 pounds lighter than her now. i'm not gonna lie it was kinda satisfying. i've got no problem with fat people, just a problem with her, and she used to pick on me for being fat. karma's a bitch.
i told my mom and she was like "ARE YOU FATSHAMING HER? IM SURE SHE'S CHANGED" and so on. and i was kinda like ... well yeah i am ? kinda like how she did to me for 9 years ? except i just mentioned to my mother that she's fat now, not bullied her verbally and physically and socially for 9 years. but idk if that makes me a bad person, what do y'all think ?
the only downside to this is now i know she lives near me. which sucks cause i don't want her within 100000000 kilometres of me. she was pretty awful growing up.
[Rant/Rave] Why am I always like 3 pounds heavier at the doctor's office??
/u/Megan_Draper
Created: Wed Sep 13 19:26:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zz3za/why_am_i_always_like_3_pounds_heavier_at_the/
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[removed]
One of my teachers is catching on
/u/sataned
Created: Wed Sep 13 19:23:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zz3dr/one_of_my_teachers_is_catching_on/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Feel like a "failed anorexic" when I eat
/u/throwthisshitaway612 [Height: 5'6 | CW: 93 lbs | BMI: fat cow | Female]
Created: Wed Sep 13 19:08:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zz0il/feel_like_a_failed_anorexic_when_i_eat/
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On Friday, I went to the doctor. I was formally diagnosed anorexic and the doctor told my family I had to eat at least 1335 calories a day or "I would die". Suuuuuuure, Janet. I've found people online who're supporting me and trying to help me eat up to my quota even though it makes me so miserable and fat. I feel so fat. God, this is hell. I constantly feel full and bloated and don't feel any better about eating. It's just like a constant binge even though I'm eating normally now. What the fuck???
Now, I'm exercising every day, trying to get my life "back on track" (as if it was ever on track hahAA). Every time I eat, every time I put something into my mouth, every single calorie that I still count, makes me feel like a failure. It makes me feel like I'm not "really anorexic". Maybe the doctor was wrong. They make mistakes sometimes too. Maybe you were just on a really hard diet and somehow tricked that doctor into saying you had an eating disorder, you piece of shit. Anyway, this is motherfucking awful and I want to restrict again but it'd be so selfish because everyone is rooting for me :^) suicide
[Rant/Rave] Binged today and I've been SO WELL ugh
/u/annabear [F | 5'7" | CW:256.8 | -9.5]
Created: Wed Sep 13 18:49:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zywkb/binged_today_and_ive_been_so_well_ugh/
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I don't know what happened today, most days if I don't eat until the evening I feel pretty good and not super hungry during the day. Today as I was picking my pups up from the vet, I was SO HUNGRY and ended up binging on fast food. Then I binged AGAIN because why not I already screwed up my day. Now my stomach is trying to kill me from the inside out and I have no motivation to do anything. Time to fast I suppose!
[Help] I'm Fat
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 13 18:44:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zyvmt/im_fat/
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https://i.redd.it/inb4fwviwqlz.jpg
[Intro] I'm back bitches...
/u/foreverthefatgirl [5'11 | CW: FAT | -20 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Sep 13 18:38:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zyuhf/im_back_bitches/
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....and I've just come off a huge binge cycle, a friend from high school just announced she lost 100 pounds, and I'm wondering how much I'd have to gain to get LAP band (probably not much). Welcome me and all of my bitter self loathing with open arms.
Edit: on mobile, please flair as rant/rave
[Rant/Rave] I don't remember my first time having sex, but I remember my first time purging
/u/Zurthrow [5'4| CW:137 | BMI:23.9 | GW1:130 | 22F]
Created: Wed Sep 13 18:27:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zys6p/i_dont_remember_my_first_time_having_sex_but_i/
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I think they both happened at age 16. I had just got back from a leadership camp retreat where I witnessed another girl I knew (and was obsessed/jealous of) purging. My parents got me Sonic when I got home: a Supersonic Cheeseburger and tots. I did it in their bathroom. I know who my first time having sex was (my first boyfriend) but I don't remember where it was or how it went. Priorities?
[Thinspo] Thinspo - Violet Ell <3
/u/Riley_Andro
Created: Wed Sep 13 18:15:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zypqw/thinspo_violet_ell_3/
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https://i.redd.it/7ytd159arqlz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] c/s is just boneless purging
/u/Zurthrow [5'4| CW:137 | BMI:23.9 | GW1:130 | 22F]
Created: Wed Sep 13 18:05:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zynr0/cs_is_just_boneless_purging/
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apologies for the memey title, just wanted to rant/rave real quick. I've been on and off as far as eating disorders since high school but the one thing I had never done at all was c/s. it just sounded stupid to me I guess? saw a post about it on here earlier and decided I might as well try it out. started by c/s a ton of goldfish which was meh. then for dinner I thought "hey what the heck, if I'm trying this c/s thing might as well get Taco bell and only 'eat' half of it". so I did that. and I mean obviously it worked but I think I'll probably continue not doing it. I don't want to be able to justify getting fast food for meals, and my mouth is so dry and sting-y now. I think I honestly prefer purging, spitting feels so much more unnatural than throwing up and I REALLY like swallowing my food lmao Idk. one thing that was super interesting though was being able to see exactly how much food I avoided putting into my stomach and feeling the weight of my discarded food in my hands. anyway yee that's my ramblings, hope y'all had good days today!
[Rant/Rave] I can't let myself lose weight before I move
/u/TummyRumblz [5'8" | CW: Larvitar | GW: clamperl | F]
Created: Wed Sep 13 17:37:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zyi6f/i_cant_let_myself_lose_weight_before_i_move/
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I can't let myself lose weight the next week and a half. I live with my grandmother, and since I'm moving to the other side of the country she wants me to visit my other grandparents and dad. I can put up with my other grandparents but I don't know how I'm gonna handle the dad. The thing is, he molested me for 9 years and when it came to light the family blamed me and protected him. I have many other issues but I can't let myself be attractive(?) around him. I have to wear baggy clothes. I can't say no because he's "family" but I feel like that's bullshit. I'm 23 damn years old and I can't say no to my grandmother. It's like she doesn't understand the word. So I have to eat
[Thinspo] The Ultimate Thinspo
/u/Ladybeeortoise [5'6" | 112 |18.0 | GW: 105 | 34/F]
Created: Wed Sep 13 17:31:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zygs6/the_ultimate_thinspo/
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https://youtu.be/q_2bBiAZgXk
[Rant/Rave] DAE get paranoid about the ratio of a mixed food?
/u/naughtynugget [5' 3" | CW 113 | 20.0 | GW 110 | UGW 100 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 13 17:12:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zycxl/dae_get_paranoid_about_the_ratio_of_a_mixed_food/
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Like for example... if I'm eating trail mix, obviously the nuts and raisins and whatever else have different individual caloric values. What if the particular bowl I'm eating has more nuts than raisins, making the calorie count higher than what the bag is telling me!!!
Sorry, just something that drives me crazy when I'm eating any sort of mixed, pre-packaged food (looking at you Honey Bunches of Oats!!!)
[Thinspo] Thinspo
/u/23widowedlost
Created: Wed Sep 13 16:44:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zy6vh/thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/a7zttrh5bqlz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] the day I binged in a Burger King bathroom (kill me please)
/u/nightmaerceci
Created: Wed Sep 13 16:33:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zy4f1/the_day_i_binged_in_a_burger_king_bathroom_kill/
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So here's how my Wednesday afternoon went ((((:
Today after work I went to the grocery store, against my better judgement. I knew I had safe foods at home to eat, and after binging all weekend I could not afford to fuck up again. But fuck up I did. Spectacularly. I let myself stroll right into the bakery section and ogle everything until I inevitably caved and grabbed a box of pumpkin whoopie pies. What's a whoopie pie? I didn't know either until I laid eyes on one. And not only did they look delicious, these were *pumpkin* whoopie pies.
So I then pretty much black out and in a blur, grab whatever my heart desires, but before checking out, I fastwalk back to the frozen section and grab a bag of frozen broccoli to place on top of the bags of candy in my basket. Gotta have at least one healthy thing, you know? So people don't...judge...even if I know I'll be using the self-checkout...
Fast forward 30 minutes later and I'm kneeling on the floor of a Burger King bathroom, reaching into my backpack and stuffing my face with the whoopie pies. Nope, my pathetic fat ass couldn't even wait until I got home. I wipe my sticky hands, walk out of the bathroom and order a Rodeo King combo. Why? I don't know. Been a long time since I had a burger, and BK's used to be my favorite when I was a kid. Not to mention my parents gave me a BK gift card for my birthday last month (lol kms) which probably planted a subconscious craving in the back of my head...
I head to the drink..station(?) and naturally I immediately go for the diet coke despite craving the non-diet root beer right next to it, and of course despite knowing I still had $20 (and probably 20,000 calories) worth of sugary binge food chillin in my backpack. *shrugs* I guess by at least sticking to my "no liquid calories" rule, I can still retain some dignity. or at least that's what I tell myself.
Another 30 minutes later, I'm home, typing this out while surrounded by Reese's wrappers and whoopie pie crumbs, and feeling like radioactive fermented garbage. If my thigh gap is still intact by the end of the week it'll be a fucking miracle. I'm going to go cry now.
/rant
Hope you all have a much better day than mine! Stay strong lovelies 💖
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo 💎
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | CW:131lbs | GW 125| GW2 115lbs | F]
Created: Wed Sep 13 16:31:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zy3y3/daily_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/obb7uewq8qlz.jpg
[Discussion] I got diagnosed with BED and depression. Here goes day 1.
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ 158 ☀️ 🍑 is same as here]
Created: Wed Sep 13 16:01:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zxx7t/i_got_diagnosed_with_bed_and_depression_here_goes/
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I got prescribed Prozac. What are people's experiences with it?
The doctor diagnosed BED instead of Bulimia for a couple reasons, I can type it out if anyone cares.
Anyway I'm 165 because I've gained 7 lbs in two weeks from bingeing lol fml.
I have therapist appointments and doctor appointments once a week for weight checks and stuff. Woo
[Discussion] Tell me what's making you sad
/u/cinnamonbicycle [5'2 | F | 🍑: shakylittleleaf]
Created: Wed Sep 13 15:57:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zxwcr/tell_me_whats_making_you_sad/
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Being mentally ill sucks. That's why I love this community. We're all here for each other, and no one has to be alone. So tell me what's on your mind, what's bothering you, what's making you stressed beyond belief or causing you to consider suicide. Whatever's inside your head. We're all messed up- let's be messed up together! <3
[Help] I don't know what's wrong, but something's wrong.
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Wed Sep 13 15:29:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zxq1r/i_dont_know_whats_wrong_but_somethings_wrong/
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I've been sat here for like 4 hours in this intense mental fog. All I can think about is killing myself, but not enough to actually act on it. I feel too overwhelmed to do anything. Even breathing feels like too much effort. My chest hurts but I literally don't care whether it's depression or heart failure. I'm just too tired.
I looked for resources for treatment all night because I realize I'm out of control, but there's nothing. Nobody does appointment-based outpatient here without making you do res or IOP first. And I can't do IOP because my insurance won't cover it. I'm in school and working and would have to quit everything. School is the only thing keeping me alive right now. If I lose that, there's no point in even trying to get better anymore.
Flaired help because I could use advice or just for someone to tell me about their day, anything to get me out of my head rn
[Discussion] DAE not wear 75% of the items in your closet but can't get rid of them bc "they'll fit good when I'm skinny" ?
/u/notworthausername [5'7" | 27F | 20.45 | CW: 131 | LW: 110 | GW: 115]
Created: Wed Sep 13 15:27:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zxphf/dae_not_wear_75_of_the_items_in_your_closet_but/
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I always try getting dressed and end up in leggings or skinny jeans (mainly leggings) & some sort of baggy/flow-ey top or sweater. I am a lard ass sitting on my bed right now because I don't want to get dressed and go anywhere bc I get upset with my lard ass squishy self what the actual fuck.
I just want to get rid of all of my clothes and actually just wear trash bags from now on.
[Rant/Rave] I thought I had won over my body.
/u/smileyslimey [5'5 | 98 | 16.3 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 13 15:22:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zxoek/i_thought_i_had_won_over_my_body/
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I haven't binged in almost a year. I dropped weight from 108 to 98 in less than two months. Only surplus I've ever been in was like a controlled <200 kcal a couple of times, otherwise I have been able to maintain a moderate deficit easily. Barely hungry and if I felt hunger, it was easily satisfied with a small volume of food. It was not hard to pass on junk food and alcohol when I didn't feel like it.
I felt like I had finally won over my body and that it had *finally* stopped working against my goals. (Like, I get it body, you want to stay alive and shit but that's not what *I'm* working towards lol.)
The crazy scary feeling of being unable to stop eating... filling bowl after bowl with food, the sheer panic at the thought of running out of food, rummaging in the kitchen for the weirdest, almost inedible food combinations that would gross me out normally, stuffing my face until I was bending over in pain, eating sloppily like a goddamn starving animal because that's what I ultimately am... I thought this would never happen to me again. I had planned against it. Small satisfying meals throughout the day, never let myself get too hungry, eat tasty food, stick to small volumes not to stretch my stomach. And it worked. Until yesterday night.
It started with a healthy bowl of buckwheat, tempeh and oil-free vegetables. 450 calories, lots of fiber, complex carbs and protein. And I had to keep eating. Nothing was off-limits. Eggs, cheese, nuts (where are the people saying that people binge just on carby foods? Ha. Watch me.), raw toast, my boyfriend's junky cereal I *never* dare touch normally, chocolate, raw oats, bananas, nutella from the jar. It was crazy. Granted, eating small volumes helped and I can't stuff my stomach as much as I used to, thankfully. But it was a shitton of food and I'm too scared to add up the calories.
Usually not being alone scares me into not binging. But yesterday I binged with my fiancé watching. No shame. It's even worse because my fiancé loves scary thin women and he would prefer me to be 90 lbs again. I know he doesn't like me eating a lot. But I didn't care. I didn't think. I only wanted to feel full and satisfied but it just wasn't happening.
Dunno why I'm writing this. It's just so scary to be reminded that in the end, I'm just a smart animal controlled by survival instincts. I can't trick my body and if I could, I'd probably die. Now I'll be humble again lol. But hey, at least this is pushing me further towards recovery because if there is a way to stop binging, even if it means gaining weight and stopping to restrict - I want it.
[Rant/Rave] Tired of Lectures
/u/catharticoblivion
Created: Wed Sep 13 14:55:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zxi6r/tired_of_lectures/
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When I let it slip that I'm almost at my calorie limit for the day yesterday, my friend started questioning what my limit was and I dumbly told him the truth and said 600 and he started telling me how low that was and how that's even low for a sedentary lifestyle. Then he was going on about how "its not about eating less its AbOut eaTIng HeALthY" but I'm so sick of hearing that fucking phrase. Like if eating less doesn't work why tf have I lost 20lbs?
Whatever, little does he know 600 is the high end of my calorie limit, my ideal day is usually under 300 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
[Thinspo] I'll just go die now
/u/tinywolfxo [5'4"|CW 125.8|HW 162|GW 103| F]
Created: Wed Sep 13 14:17:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zx8qy/ill_just_go_die_now/
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https://instagram.com/p/BYoBRKdlV-g/
I'm just go die now
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 13 14:15:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zx87b/im_just_go_die_now/
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https://instagram.com/p/BYoBRKdlV-g/
[Other] Hard to remember. Hard to guess
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 124.8lbls |19.82|-40 (then +30 lol)| female]
Created: Wed Sep 13 13:47:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zx1gj/hard_to_remember_hard_to_guess/
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https://i.redd.it/471ep0sgfplz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Your Daily Giggle
/u/ilikereadingyourstuf [F: 5'3 | CW 166 | 29.41]
Created: Wed Sep 13 13:37:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zwz77/your_daily_giggle/
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I am in my room, in pain.
Chewed 3 GasX chewables.
Drinking water...
Why?
'Cause THIS genius decided to eat an ENTIRE BAG of cauliflower...
It was only 45 cal for the whole damn thing. I had it spiced up nicely, too!
I had no idea i would BLOW up like this!
My hubs is enjoying this, so I thought you would, too.
[Rant/Rave] I'm sitting in the doctor's office at my University waiting for them to call me back. I'm so scared I want to cry
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ 158 ☀️ 🍑 is same as here]
Created: Wed Sep 13 13:36:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zwyxw/im_sitting_in_the_doctors_office_at_my_university/
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I feel like I'm just going to burst into tears if I try to explain everything to the doctor. I don't know what's going to happen. So terrified. What if they don't believe me? What if they think I'm fine because I'm not under or over weight? I just need some fucking food and someone to cuddle with right now. I wish I could say fuck homework and just go to sleep
[Rant/Rave] If coffee, tea, and diet soda don't actually have 0 calories
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 13 13:27:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zwwo7/if_coffee_tea_and_diet_soda_dont_actually_have_0/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Fall Comfort Check
/u/awayawaydown [c: 17.2 | g: 16.3]
Created: Wed Sep 13 13:24:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zwvx3/fall_comfort_check/
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What do you like to do to keep yourself comfy, especially as colder weather creeps up (in the northern hemisphere)?
As I lose weight my bones make things like sleeping on my side and sitting in the tub less comfortable. Having a pillow between my legs helps, and filling the tub very full to take weight off my tailbone also helps.
I wear camisoles under my shirts to layer up and stay warm. Wool socks help, cause if your feet are warm, you feel warm.
What do you do to keep yourself comfortable?
[Rant/Rave] [Rant/Rave] I hit a new low.
/u/Throwaway3344511
Created: Wed Sep 13 13:06:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zwrpd/rantrave_i_hit_a_new_low/
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I have EDNOS but I mostly restrict. Sometimes I go through binge cycles, but I can't bring myself to purge. So I either lose weight or maintain. Now, I've been restricting again for weeks but I'm stuck at 46.5 kg, so I was feeling pretty unmotivated. Today I was like "It's not working, I'll just eat at maintenance for the rest of the week". Lol, me? Maintenance? Don't know what that is. So I binged. My "snack" alone was 1241 calories, plus lunch and dinner it's 2053 calories. Maybe it's not *too* bad but I literally couldn't stop myself from stuffing myself. I swear I wanted to eat all of my brother's cookies, but I didn't 'cause I didn't want him to notice. But god, my tummy hurt and I just kept eating. I feel horrible and I'm afraid I'll binge again tomorrow 'cause, you know, my week is already ruined so better keep eating hahaha fml.
[Discussion] Asking for things
/u/mimidudette [5'8" | CW: 140 | -27 | HW: 172 | GW: 125 | 20F]
Created: Wed Sep 13 13:00:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zwq2w/asking_for_things/
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Does anyone else really struggle with asking for things? Like when you need someone to hug you, or you want them to do stuff for you or something. When I'm having bad days SO always asks what he can do to help and although I'm screaming on the inside and I adore him and I know exactly what would help I just can't say it. Like I'm afraid to ask for things I need. Or maybe I'm just afraid to need in the first place.
[Rant/Rave] When you binge and don't hate yourself, it's a good day.
/u/ElectricWerm [ 5'7 | 125lb | 19.58 | -45lb | 115lb | 23F]
Created: Wed Sep 13 12:36:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zwk4f/when_you_binge_and_dont_hate_yourself_its_a_good/
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I'm going through a super tough break up with a boy who literally made me insane and yesterday was just not a good day. I thought I was done dealing with him and nope. Always one more thing. I'm so so happy any other time until I have to think about him or deal with him and then it's like I feel this poison running through me.
So my amazing best friend takes me out to Trivia night at this Brewery I've never been to as to distract me and it was so. Much. Fun. I had 1 beer, and even ate two slices of pizza (*pineapple and tomato fuck me uppppp*) we laughed, ate, and sucked at the Triva part (*who the fuck knows what the capitol of Connecticut is??*) and I never stopped smiling. But my train of fun was then ruined again by said ex.
Deal with that and come home to my seriously, life saving, roommates. We all just chill, smoke, relax, watch TV, drinking whatever we can. I'm drinking like $7 Pink Moscato and I don't give a FUCK. Roomie 1 just says "Hey are you hungry?" sets down his left over dank ass mediterian food from earlier and said he saved it for me because I said it smelled good. And I almost started crying because I just can't get over the fact that people are nice to me, that they like me and I'm not worthless. I totally was so full already and already knew I was way over calories but I ate it all anyway because what a nice thing to so and I **loved** it and did not even feel bad about eating it.
And fuck it we know how binges work, so why not go all out? I'm a pretty crafty baker and these dudes have just been amazing so at 1:30am I decide to make them my *Super Awesome Save The Day Sugar Cookies* from scratch, we're talking 2 sticks of butter, almost 2 cups of sugar, just ALL the calories, to show some gratitude. And they were fucking delicious, everyone loved them and I felt proud. I ate like 4 and just fuck it I was so happy, I passed out and actually got more than 3 hours of sleep in the last 2 weeks.
And today is just a new day. I already knew I was gonna wake up, walk for an hour, run for an hour, just drink water all day, snack on an apple and maybe some crackers later. And I feel no guilt. I really needed that last night, I've got left over smiles for days from that energy.
Idk, sorry for all the words, I just wanted to share. My life has been a mess and every day that's a good day just puts me in a super grateful place and I never want to take it for granted. I hope everyone here has a good day or knows that there is always one just right around the corner.
[Rant/Rave] I binged today and my body feels bad.
/u/Lunnaris [5' | CW: 134,4 | UGW: 110,2 | 24F]
Created: Wed Sep 13 12:20:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zwg91/i_binged_today_and_my_body_feels_bad/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Pro Ana rant
/u/SodiP0p
Created: Wed Sep 13 12:00:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zwb8g/pro_ana_rant/
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Pro Ana anything is considered wrong to most people. And I agree somewhat. But I think it's stupid how some people will act so anti pro Ana and then the next second they're posting thinspo to their Tumblr. It honestly annoys the heck out of me. Like make up your f*cking mind.
If someone makes a tumblr dedicated to thinspo and pro Ana-ish things, f*cking let them. But don't sit and berate them for something you're doing yourself.
Bottom line quit being a hypocrite.
Kill me
/u/50shadesofskinny [5'4 | 135lbs | -50lbs | 23F]
Created: Wed Sep 13 11:27:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zw343/kill_me/
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[removed]
I haven't had a grilled cheese since April
/u/bagelzboi [5'3 | CW:89bs | 21F]
Created: Wed Sep 13 11:08:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zvyd1/i_havent_had_a_grilled_cheese_since_april/
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-and I only had that one because I was drunk and my friend made it for me- So I'm going to go -soberly- buy one tomorrow and have it for dinner because I broke a plateau today and I miss my favourite lunchtime meal
Grocery haul
/u/fleahi
Created: Wed Sep 13 11:08:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zvyce/grocery_haul/
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https://youtu.be/1-V5Yx1Gpww
[Rant/Rave] I've lost 20% of my total body weight in five months and nobody has noticed
/u/SaturnsPrincess
Created: Wed Sep 13 10:56:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zvv59/ive_lost_20_of_my_total_body_weight_in_five/
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People at work haven't said a thing. Friends started to become hostile toward me. Not even my mother noticed - But she suddenly seems to hate me, which is great.
I have no idea where I've gone wrong.
[Rant/Rave] Pumpkin spice lattes are evil
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 13 10:44:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zvse1/pumpkin_spice_lattes_are_evil/
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[removed]
[Other] Mini grocery haul - under $40. Have y'all tried this soup? 80 cal a serving (160 per can) and it legit fills me up. Campbell's Well Yes. I got the Italian Vegetable with Farro and the Hearty Lentil with Vegetables. The second one is more cals (120) per serving and I haven't tried that one yet.
/u/follyflop [5'9" | CW: fucking ew | GW: much less | F]
Created: Wed Sep 13 10:37:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zvqog/mini_grocery_haul_under_40_have_yall_tried_this/
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https://i.redd.it/5z3ojn2nholz.jpg
[Other] Just made a 200 Calorie Chocolate Milkshake!!
/u/nitra_bon [Height 5'3 | CW 111 lbs | BMI 20.21 | Weight Lost -11| Gender F]
Created: Wed Sep 13 10:37:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zvqkd/just_made_a_200_calorie_chocolate_milkshake/
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Hey guys, I've been a lurker for a couple months now, and holy cow all of you beautiful are so supportive of each other, I'm so glad to have found this subreddit.
Anyways, I thought I'd share a cool recipe I invented today!!
So usually I try to eat my breakfast in liquid form because I'm on the go in the morning and need something quick, so I experimented with my usual breakfast shake. I changed up some ingredients today and omg it's so delicious I can't even take it!! Usually I make it will not frozen bananas and it comes out kind of watery, but freezing them is a total game changer. Here it is:
- 1 Frozen Banana (110 Calories).
- 6.5 oz of Almond/Coconut Milk Blend (49 Calories).
- 2 Tbsp Chocolate PB2 Powder (45 calories).
- 1/2 Tbsp of Hershey's Unsweetened Cocoa Powder (5 calories).
- Stevia to taste (used about a quarter of one small packet).
- 3 or 4 ice cubes.
Total Calories: 209
I just threw all of this in my bullet blender, made sure all the chunks got blended really well and voila! You could probably mess with the recipe a bit and make it a little under 200 calories by using cashew milk instead, and less PB2 and more cocoa powder. You could even halve the recipe for a quick snack! Either way, this milkshake is so delicious and it filled me up for hours!!
[Other] Instagram accounts?
/u/Ladybeeortoise [5'6" | 113 |18.2 | GW: 105 | 34/F]
Created: Wed Sep 13 09:19:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zv7o3/instagram_accounts/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Who likes kombucha???
/u/sp_600 [5'7🌻107🌻16.8🌻20f]
Created: Wed Sep 13 09:18:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zv7nf/who_likes_kombucha/
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I love this shit. Its pretty low cal. If its the real deal it should be less than 80 per a 16 oz serving.
It really kills cravings and keeps me full. I dont have any solid evidence for this but I swear that it helps my bloating.
The only big downside is that its so expensive. I have cut costs a lot by making my own.
[Other] And I can't even lose weight on purpose
/u/starpocalypse [4'10 | justfat | UGW: 77 | 🍑: starpocalypse]
Created: Wed Sep 13 08:22:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zuuk2/and_i_cant_even_lose_weight_on_purpose/
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http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/news/christian-bale-weight-gain-fat-dick-cheney-diet-role-film-adam-mckay-a7941776.html
[Help] Have any of you gotten to a low weight without counting calories?
/u/flowerknitch
Created: Wed Sep 13 08:20:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zuu7d/have_any_of_you_gotten_to_a_low_weight_without/
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[removed]
How can people do this on purpose? ; _ ;
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 13 08:20:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zuu2r/how_can_people_do_this_on_purpose/
---
http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/news/christian-bale-weight-gain-fat-dick-cheney-diet-role-film-adam-mckay-a7941776.html
[Rant/Rave] Lost 15 lbs in a week.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 13 07:40:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zul9b/lost_15_lbs_in_a_week/
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[deleted]
[Other] [Other]What are you attracted to? Certain personalities or body types? Does it differ from your desired body type?
/u/letstryforkarma
Created: Wed Sep 13 07:20:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zuh9w/otherwhat_are_you_attracted_to_certain/
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[Rant/Rave] my flatmate has a guy over, so i can't leave my room
/u/7376549
Created: Wed Sep 13 06:24:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zu6n7/my_flatmate_has_a_guy_over_so_i_cant_leave_my_room/
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theyve been in the main room being really loud all day & my anxiety is so so bad i can't go out there. i specifically asked my flatmate when she moved in to please not invite strangers round because of my anxiety, she did it anyway. idk, maybe i'm being childish but i feel kinda hurt. i would never do this to her.
at least it means i'm fasting for longer, i guess! *strained smile*
[Discussion] What's your worst subject in college/school?
/u/Soybeansandsprouts [🍌5'5"|112|GW:110🍉]
Created: Wed Sep 13 06:22:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zu653/whats_your_worst_subject_in_collegeschool/
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I suck at math. I don't know what it is about numbers, but my brain just doesn't work that way. Ecology? Love it. Organic chemistry? Hated gen chem (cause math) but this was a breeze. Genetics? Boy, I live for that shit. Even classes outside of my major like history, comp. lit, and anthropology, I can do really well in. But if you ask me to find the angle at which Sara must row her fukin boat to get to the other side of the river going 5.2 m/s, I swear my brain shuts down.
Last semester I took calculus since it is a requirement for my major. I did every single practice problem in the book in order to earn an A-. This year I have to take Physics both semesters and I want to die. I'm so bad at it. I spend sooooo many hours just staring at my problem set and sitting around office hours with the TA. I feel so worthless and stupid. Last week I would stay in office hours/ the library until 9:00 PM and was so stressed and anxious that I couldn't eat for 3 days.
I think 90% of my stress comes from physics. Does anyone else have a similar situation? Maybe with another subject or aspect of their job?
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! September 13, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Sep 13 06:11:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zu4db/daily_food_diary_september_13_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 13, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday September 13, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Sep 13 06:10:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zu47v/way_to_go_wednesday_september_13_2017/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for September 13, 2017.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Discussion] Has anyone tried this? I don't work out much but my job is very physical. I'm STARVING and drained about 3 hours in, and around too many bingey snacks (I work in a preschool). Hope this helps!
/u/ohwellolivia
Created: Wed Sep 13 05:37:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ztysp/has_anyone_tried_this_i_dont_work_out_much_but_my/
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https://i.redd.it/a4n0o7j10nlz.jpg
[Discussion] September 13th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 13 05:12:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ztv2i/september_13th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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Write down a minor, but chronic, problem.
[Rant/Rave] I don't have a problem at all
/u/Rhyanon [Who needs reasons when you have an ED?]
Created: Wed Sep 13 04:29:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ztp2s/i_dont_have_a_problem_at_all/
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Me: I'm going to go to the super market today, buy groceries and eat at a normal deficit because the only time I even lose weight is when I'm trying not to be a disordered piece of shit
**sees the most grade A thinspo in the pub**
Me: lol I'm fasting today :D
For real though I managed to eat like a normal human for six weeks and dropped 8kg. It's really frustrating how my ED doesn't even result in weightloss, I just yoyo and lose all my money because I spent it on binging
[Rant/Rave] I did it. I'm officially underweight.
/u/yesyeshihello [157cm | CW: 45.6kg | BMI: 18.5 | 27F]
Created: Wed Sep 13 02:43:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ztbgf/i_did_it_im_officially_underweight/
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[removed]
[Intro] ~introduction~
/u/jonkristopher
Created: Wed Sep 13 02:21:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zt8wl/introduction/
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Hello everybody,
My name is Topher. I'm a 27 year old male and I have been "recovered" from anorexia (binge purge type) for almost 5 years but recently have begun to relapse.
I've been scoping out this community for some time and figured it was time to make my introduction!
Cheers!
[Rant/Rave] I'm trying to balance gaining muscle and restricting and it's just not working
/u/CANT_CATCH_ME [5'7.5 | CW 133.5 | -7 | GW 115 | 18 F]
Created: Wed Sep 13 01:54:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zt5pe/im_trying_to_balance_gaining_muscle_and/
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I really need to gain muscle. Like I want to get into a special unit in the army and I need to be fit but at the same time I just can't look in the mirror without seeing how disgusting and fat I am so I also try to restrict??
Like. I just can't find a balance here. I need energy but I also want to lose weight. I don't own a scale and I just found out one of my housemates owns a soft measuring tape so I'll have some way to measure myself but UGH I don't know what to do :(
Why can't I have both. Why can't I just not care and eat whatever. I hate this.
[Discussion] What are your rewards when you reach a weight goal? What do you not allow yourself to do if you're not there yet?
/u/bunnywithbpd [Height 5"1 | CW 114 lb | HW 128 lb | UGW 95 lb]
Created: Wed Sep 13 00:37:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zsvtm/what_are_your_rewards_when_you_reach_a_weight/
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Don't just say shopping spree! Try to be more specific. Mine would be buying dva cosplay and dressing up as her. Or going on a special date with the boyfriend. And I would like to record videos of me dancing.
I feel like if I don't reach my UGW, I punish myself by not doing things I like. I refuse to learn dance covers, I wear the ugliest clothing, I can't go to this place or that place until I'm ___ lb.
Anyway what do you guys do for rewards?
[Discussion] Do any of you model?
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Wed Sep 13 00:34:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zsvhi/do_any_of_you_model/
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Do you ever feel bad about it? Modeling and kinda promoting a lifestyle that isn't true? I model occasionally and I always feel horrible... like I'm going to show up and be fatter than the photographer expected or like I'm supposed to smile and pretend to live some beautiful glamorous life meanwhile I haven't eaten all fucking day... And I'm taking poses that make me look even skinnier and happier and fitter than I am, when in reality I'm short and fat. Fuck.
[Help] Craving Killers?
/u/miracleunicat
Created: Tue Sep 12 23:46:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zsp00/craving_killers/
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I've been restricting really well, but lately have just so been craving cookie dough. Does anyone have a low calorie alternative? I don't really care about anything other then the calories.
[Rant/Rave] Does anyone else get annoyed when...
/u/Anghoul [5'6''|BMI: 22.12|CW: 135|GW: 128|WL: 75|]
Created: Tue Sep 12 23:39:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zso1z/does_anyone_else_get_annoyed_when/
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someone uneducated on a subject tells you (educated on said subject) you're wrong, then they proceed to tell you something very factually and medically incorrect?
(sorr for clickbaity title, it would have been WAY too long)
For me, I usually find people tell me about foods, diets and medical 'factoids' when they have no basis other than hearing something in an ad, the news or in one or two shitty different articles.
I consider that some eating disordered people may be dizzy/off as I've felt very out of it at times because of restriction myself (ntm everyones learning still, so am I!) and coupled with DRD it's gotten pretty bizarre; I never told anyone their business though and I've always been obsessed (quite literally, OCD is terrible) with knowing why/how/etc about everything I come across.
I usually just leave it, or explain/discuss it if it's open to, but it still annoys me. Opinion is one thing, but fact is another, my dudes.
This post is a mess, I apologize!
[Rant/Rave] yeah that hurts :)
/u/tarantulahospital [5'7 | -25lb | F]
Created: Tue Sep 12 23:14:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zskh9/yeah_that_hurts/
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[removed]
[Tip] HOMEMADE HALO TOP THIS IS NOT A DRILL
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 196 lb | GW: 120 lb | 22F]
Created: Tue Sep 12 23:10:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zsjxp/homemade_halo_top_this_is_not_a_drill/
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I think it's pretty well established that most of us on here are big fans of the savior to us all that is Halo Top low calorie ice cream. Most of us here also fail to have to funds to sustain a Halo Top habit. I've been toying with the idea of using some kitchen alchemy to drum up a batch, and after reading a posted recipe from /r/xxfitness , I adapted it into an easy recipe (slightly lower calorie lol), with endless flavor combinations.
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2 cups milk (I use almond/cashew milk) (50-60 calories)
1 medium egg (~65 calories) (The ice cream will be far creamier if you use 2 eggs with a low fat milk like almond or cashew)
1 tsp xanthan gum (10 calories) (Only if freezing for later- the texture can be slimy if you eat this fresh out the machine)
15-20 g whey protein powder (I use vanilla flavored) (65-90 calories)
Sweetener of choice
Flavor
---------
Heat 1 cup "milk" in a saucepan, until boiling. Turn heat to low, beat in scrambled raw egg (stir continuously). Continue to whisk until the base starts to thicken, Then sprinkle in the xanthan gum (optional- this will make the ice cream softer when frozen. Gelatin may work as well?) continue to whisk, then kill the heat and whisk in your protein powder, sweetener, flavor, etc. Strain to get the lumps out. Add the second cup of milk (If not adding any blended fruit/juice etc- just enough that the consistency is a bit thicker than heavy cream). Use your method of choice to freeze- I use an ice cream maker. There are many possibilities and methods that work without a machine, you should be able to find one with a quick google search.
Now this is a base recipe- the method of introducing flavor will vary depending on what it is. You can add any extract to your liking, bits of fruit, etc after making the base. You can use flavored protein powder. In my first batch, I omitted the sweetener, and added a blended peach and lemon juice (omg so good). In my newest batch, I steeped my almond milk in coffee grounds for a few days, then threw some cloves and a cinnamon stick into the milk while it was on the stove to make a pumpkin spice latte flavor (I know I'm a basic bitch lol).
I'm planning on making a green tea lavender this week as well. The benefit of the recipe is it's lower calorie per batch than a pint of halo top (depending on what you add), it's waaaaay cheaper, and you can make all kinds of crazy flavors! (I'm pretty well versed in the kitchen too, so if you want help figuring out how to add a flavor or something, feel free to ask!)
If you're an animal like me you'll just eat the whole batch as soon as it's out of the machine, but it'll freeze up pretty similarly to Halo Top if you stick it in the freezer as well.
Edit: Forgot a step
Edit2: I left the new batch in the freezer a lot longer- it does freeze harder than Halo Top. It'll take longer to thaw out, but the best texture I've had was straight out the ice cream machine (with an extra egg). Experiment, find your ideal ratio of creaminess to calories!
[Help] Reducing muscle mass
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 113.8 | GW: 105 | M/15]
Created: Tue Sep 12 22:56:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zshn5/reducing_muscle_mass/
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Does anyone know a good method of reducing muscle mass?
[Rant/Rave] i'm conflicted
/u/trashboating_ [5'1" | 87 | 17.2 | F | 🍑: aureiia]
Created: Tue Sep 12 22:06:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zs9e5/im_conflicted/
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sorry if this is super disjointed, im not great at writing out how i feel.
on one hand, I've had enough. I want to be able to live life to the fullest and maintain. not gain, because im too weak for that. I've always been too weak for that.
on the other, part of me wants to get even lower than my lowest weight. to prove to myself that if i just hit 74lbs i'll be happy. I know it's not true but the sick part of my brain always wins against the healthy one.
i'm scared. i swore to myself i wouldn't go past 95lbs. I'm 87 and i still wanna lose. i can almost wrap my hand around my upper arm and that makes me nauseous but my subconscious is telling me to keep going, until i can wrap it around fully. until no clothes fit. until im forced to get an NG tube again. until everyone gives up and stops caring because that's what I've always wanted.
I can say im going to eat my TDEE but i'll just end up eating 500 again because I can't be trusted. I'm sick to the point where I can't control anything.
i want an ICEE.
[Help] DAE feel drunk after spicy food?
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Tue Sep 12 21:51:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zs6ud/dae_feel_drunk_after_spicy_food/
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I don't know how to describe it, but when I'm restricting and haven't eaten all day until lunch and I have spicy food I feel...drunk?
It's only a recent thing so I assumed it was to do with the restricting.
[Discussion] Musings on Media
/u/SpitAndPennyStyle [5'2" |SW:185lbs | CW: 144lbs *drinks bleach*| GW:100 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 12 21:32:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zs3m2/musings_on_media/
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So, when I watch documentaries/movies on EDs they all seem to be from 10+ years ago. I began to think perhaps the modern body/fat acceptance movement is a reaction to all that media? Like somehow in their minds, if you're skinny or attempt to lose weight you're anorexic/bulimic and so they're going to the opposite extreme to compensate. Have you guys noticed this shift? (Disclaimer: I'm specifically referring to the tendency to overlook overweight/obese bodies as being unhealthy, while shaming lower-end normal and underweight girls. I noticed a trend within the body/fat positive spheres of the internet, this is not a condemnation of positive feelings towards oneself.)
[Rant/Rave] Maudsley is making me relapse
/u/ohwellolivia
Created: Tue Sep 12 21:17:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zs12e/maudsley_is_making_me_relapse/
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About 5 years ago, when I was in adolescent day treatment program, my parents took the maudsley approach. It's fucked me up. Since leaving day treatment (only to be readmitted 3x as an adult) I've developed tunnel vision. I HAVE to finish everything on my plate, even if it's out of my meal plan or what's even reasonably normal. I sort of black out and eat super quickly until I snap back into reality and all the food is gone. I mean all of it. Even what's on my husbands plate. And I INHALE IT. It's terrifying. I eat so quickly and mindlessly that I don't even remember it happening. It's caused panic attacks, and more recently, a purging relapse. I can't help but feel so angry and resentful to my parents for force feeding me in maudsley. I've gotten into this restrict, tunnel vision eating (won't say binge because it's never a clinical binge and have never struggled with binging before), purge cycle. Anyone else gone through maudsley and has had a similar outcome?
Blue
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 12 20:49:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zrwap/blue/
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https://i.redd.it/b5o4olnjdklz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Anybody else feel stressed or guilty when hunger pangs stop/slow down?
/u/sparrow_lately
Created: Tue Sep 12 20:27:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zrrzp/anybody_else_feel_stressed_or_guilty_when_hunger/
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Like, I haven't eaten anything, that's not why they stopped, my body probably just adjusted. Bu oh god the stress. I'm a crazy person.
[Discussion] does anyone else get really bloated in their lower stomach even while restricting?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18 | 22F]
Created: Tue Sep 12 20:24:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zrrh6/does_anyone_else_get_really_bloated_in_their/
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like today i ate a bagel and some yogurt and still felt really bloated—which might be water retention/dehydration (because i suuuuuck about drinking enough water during the day), but it just seems bizarre that i'm bloated even while not eating much. when i was super heavily restricting my stomach was always flat, so maybe that's the only solution lol
[Rant/Rave] Anybody else a type-one diabetic? I need someone to rant to🌝
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 12 20:14:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zrple/anybody_else_a_typeone_diabetic_i_need_someone_to/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Trying to figure out how you're going to budget in the calories of Christmas Day.... In September.
/u/95CHOI
Created: Tue Sep 12 20:11:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zroyv/trying_to_figure_out_how_youre_going_to_budget_in/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] rant. college.
/u/-widowmaker-
Created: Tue Sep 12 20:02:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zrnbz/rant_college/
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Freshman in college. I have to take ballet and my acting class as well as rehearsals for this show in a room that's lined with mirrors and it triggers me every day multiple times a day and I am so distraught over it. not to mention I got my measurements taken for this show and there were like five girls in the costume shop and she just did them right there in front of actually everyone, including this girl who literally travels everywhere to model who I am painfully envious of and hate on principal, and called out all of the measurements bc another girl was writing them down.
I'm just sad and not good enough.
[Rant/Rave] [RANT] A self harm relapse
/u/milky_silky [5'6" | 105lbs]
Created: Tue Sep 12 19:50:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zrl1o/rant_a_self_harm_relapse/
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/// I feel awful posting stuff like this, it feels like I'm wasting (anyone who reads this) time, I'm being annoying, etc. But it really really helps me, and this community has been so friendly and accepting. I love y'all and I'm sorry!! //
I've been self harming half my life. I have some scars on my legs, but 'the place' has always been on my left arm, just above my wrists. the entire centre of my arm is covered in white scars that pop out. I used to cut myself daily. it looks disgusting. the inside of my arm too. that's where I have some stitch marks. i also cut "fat" in to my arm 6 years ago. it's the most prominent thing on the place to this day.
you can't change it. and if you relapse, It won't make much of a difference. you'll always be a cutter. always. the arm is so scarred, more won't make a difference. it won't.
i don't know how long it lasted. i think it was 7 months. this has been the longest period since the self harm began.
i'm so disappointed because it didn't feel relieving or good, or painful. it's been something I almost craved for months and it felt like nothing.
honestly, it's because i'm drunk. i'm almost disappointed. my arm is full, so i can't cut on top when i'm sober tomorrow.
it feels like losing half your weight, working so hard, then binging on food that doesn't even taste good, and gaining all the weight back in a second.
i know it sounds horrible, but I wanted it to make me feel better. I thought it would. I'm drunk, I relapsed, and it didn't change anything. It just made me feel worse.
If anyone is thinking of relapsing, please.. don't.
I'm still proud I lasted 7 months, it was an everyday struggle. It was on my mind every single day. If anyone is struggling with self harm, you can always message me. Please do. I'm scared for the next few days, I feel like I will just hurt myself constantly.
[Rant/Rave] It's not important- just need a space to vent
/u/guniver [5'2 | CW 99lbs | BMI 18.35 | GW 92lbs]
Created: Tue Sep 12 19:32:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zrhfg/its_not_important_just_need_a_space_to_vent/
---
(I'm not trying to offend anyone)
I've been eating like a pig this month because it's my birthday month. I thought I deserve something chill time from the shit I was going through. Some bad shit that I just wanna escape from by letting myself chill and 'enjoy'.
And of course, I feel really fat but I kept trying to convince myself that I can lose it all at once in October. I still think I can but I feel so fat rn I want to claw out my stomach..
My boyfriend is thinner and eats lesser than me. It triggered me so much when he ordered plenty of food only to let me finish. I couldn't even tell myself that I'm full and continue eating and eating and STILL asking for more!!!! I can't believe how much I can eat seriously, everyday is >1000 cals exceeding my TDEE. I'm freaking short and sedentary it's so easy for me to overeat!!!
Idk what's wrong with me, I feel like a total shit but still binging and crying inside. I think that it's my pms and some hormonal shit because I took some pills. STILL, I can try to control myself but I didn't??
So
Somehow, during breakfast, I rudely commented that he ate so much lesser than me and something's wrong with him. Obviously it was my own problem but I just had to blame someone else.
I don't understand how can a normal person can eat so little. They are so blessed!!
**I wish I can be those normal people who unknowingly/naturally eats under their TDEE*
Ugh I'm so triggered but I can't purge because the toilet walls are thin af and he's next door and someone else in the house need to use the bathroom too.
I regret eating so much.. I hate to think that I deserved to eat. I'm so stressed, I need to puke. I shouldn't but my whole body is aching to..
holy crap, I still feel like eating right now. WHY. Kill me please
Edit: Update: I was gonna purge halfway and managed to stop myself (because of the reasons stated above). Now the acid is burning through my stomach. I'm very bloated and uncomfortable. F me
Edit: tmi: ok i feel like pooping n puking at the same time.
[Rant/Rave] I am so disgusting. [Rant]
/u/throwawaythepounds20
Created: Tue Sep 12 19:22:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zrfex/i_am_so_disgusting_rant/
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My body is so disgusting.
Its full of stretchmarks and big thighs and a big stomach and I just hate myself so much, I never want to eat again. I weigh in at 170, and seeing that number makes me want to fucking kill myself.
I dont know how i let myself get so big and obese? I just don't want to eat. I can't. I dont deserve to eat.
I feel so hideous and gross and I just never want to leave my house.. I want to just do a water fast for a week and see how much i lose.
I just want the fatness to go away, and the number to drop..
[Discussion] A Well Managed Disorder
/u/PilloriedPrufrock
Created: Tue Sep 12 18:41:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zr7ca/a_well_managed_disorder/
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Is it even possible? Has anyone maintained a low but not dying weight and come to terms with being restrictive without giving up your whole life?
I had a long and awful history with bulimia that made me get treatment. My recovery was honestly awesome- BMI about 22, able to indulge without binging or feeling guilty, the works.
But this relapse hasn't been nearly as bad as my bulimic years. Like I'm stressing about food and my body and yadayada, so it still feels disordered. My binging has been minimal and my weight loss has been pretty slow. I've also been exercising and eating halfway healthy. All good as far as mental illness goes.
So now I'm getting to the bottom of the healthy weight range for my height. And I feel like loosing maybe 2 or 3 more pounds. But then I want to maintain.
Scary shit.
Any advise?
[Other] C/S ia fucking great. I havnt purged in over a week now
/u/CassTheUltimateBA [5'10 | 141 | 20.3 | 75 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 12 18:21:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zr3ev/cs_ia_fucking_great_i_havnt_purged_in_over_a_week/
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I stopped purging in June but when my brother came back from deployment we ate out a fucking lot of fast food/restraunts. Fuck gaining weight so i purged like hell. I got my chipmunk cheeks back pretty quick though.
I found out that one of my old friends has an ed and she was talking about how awesome c/s is. It's so easy! I always thought it was wack but it's sooo much better than purging. And no chipmunk cheeks! And i don't have to keep cleaning the toilet!
Weirdest dinner? Here's mine tonight.
/u/atelierreverie [5'5" | CW: 146 | GW: 105 | -13lbs | F]
Created: Tue Sep 12 18:01:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zqzgw/weirdest_dinner_heres_mine_tonight/
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https://i.redd.it/49tbbt70kjlz.jpg
[Help] Skin
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 12 17:42:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zqvto/skin/
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[deleted]
[Thinspo] I'm old, so here's some legspo and good music
/u/clarenceismyanimus [5'6 | too much | -42 | 37F]
Created: Tue Sep 12 17:41:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zqvkq/im_old_so_heres_some_legspo_and_good_music/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ff5wxR081YQ
[Discussion] I think being the me I am right now is an advantage
/u/TemporaryAccount_101 [5'3'' | 🐳 | BED | 19F]
Created: Tue Sep 12 17:40:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zqvcm/i_think_being_the_me_i_am_right_now_is_an/
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In the sense that people who know me, know 'fat me.'
Which means that if I lose weight, they are bound to notice (validation), and are bound to see the 'new me.'
And hopefully, keep those friends because they weren't as shallow as to not hang out with 'fat me.'
So even though I hate myself, this situation is a win-win?
How about you all? What do you think of your current situation?
[Tip] Tequila and weightloss
/u/Anghoul [5'6''|BMI: 22.12|CW: 135|GW: 128|WL: 75|]
Created: Tue Sep 12 17:27:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zqslh/tequila_and_weightloss/
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For those drunkorexics; tequila can aid in weightloss, esp. When had with small meals- make sure to add the lime!
This is for... relatively small quantities, like 1-3 shots.
Since Agave (the plant tequila is made of) doesn't digest, it helps keep things moving and since its aged it helps your gut flora- which means its also good for constapation. Agave syrup is also an option if you don't want or like tequila, you can add it to tea, coffee, oats, other alcoholic drinks- whatever you can think of.
[Rant/Rave] Rant.
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Tue Sep 12 16:57:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zqmj3/rant/
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I live with my family - 4 other people - and I have no control over what food they bring and store in the house. I ate ~400 calories of refined carbs and sugar today because it was in the house, so naturally I'm still craving food even though I'm only 250 cals under my tdee. But like, how the fuck am I supposed to resist this shit every day? Like, even if I didn't have an ED and just wanted to be healthy, it would be IMPOSSIBLE here.
I'm not even hungry, but I still want to eat. I hate this.
[Rant/Rave] nightmares of binging
/u/svppin
Created: Tue Sep 12 16:18:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zqe83/nightmares_of_binging/
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[removed]
[Intro] reunited and it feels so good
/u/strummerrunner
Created: Tue Sep 12 16:03:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zqavi/reunited_and_it_feels_so_good/
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sup, long time reader, first time poster! male, 5'5", about 125lbs.
I'm relapsing and I'm very okay with it tbh. I'm a drunkorexic (ha) and am recently back to drinking my calories. this is the highest weight I've ever been (my mom had an ED and basically trained me and I never thought I'd be grateful for that but...) and I'm ready to get back to being a lot skinnier. My boyfriend is aware and accommodating of my ED when I visit but he doesn't live near me (ldr) so doesn't know about the realities.
Anyway, hi, I really love the tone here js. Does anyone else eat stuff that makes them ~kinda sick so they have an excuse to not? I'm lactose intolerant but only in large doses so I'll drink a lactose based breakfast replacement drink so I'm 'too sick' to eat for the rest of the day. I don't know if that's crazy or not tbh.
Haaa, weirdly happy to be giving into this again. god knows I need it. hugs guys!
[Discussion] Coke Zero Sugar
/u/c_marier [5'6"| 110.2 17.8 | 23F]
Created: Tue Sep 12 15:42:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zq6cz/coke_zero_sugar/
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... tastes just like Coke Zero imo. So relieved. I banked on it being good enough and bought a 48 pack blind lol so THANK THE STARS because that could have turned out badly.
Has anyone else tried it yet?
[Discussion] DAE wish you could gain the weight without having to eat at all?
/u/cinnamonbicycle [5'2 | Recovering/relapsing | F]
Created: Tue Sep 12 15:18:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zq0uf/dae_wish_you_could_gain_the_weight_without_having/
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Like, I want to get the "goal weight" my dietician set for me, just so I can by hereby dubbed Recovered and everyone will stop breathing down my neck about food. (According to her, it's going to take until the end of the year... yikes. Idk if I can do this that long. But that's another post altogether.) But I just hate *eating*.
Obviously I know that you have to eat in order to gain weight, but I love to feel hungry and empty and light-headed, ya know? Being full is so gross and uncomfortable. The actual act of eating is stressful and unpleasant.
I'd rather be able to "practice" starving while still gaining the weight, and then somehow switch back to being a normal human who loses weight when she doesn't eat. It's going to suck having to re-train my hunger cues and exercise endurance once I can get back at it.
[Help] New here and I have a question!
/u/chandelierlake
Created: Tue Sep 12 14:53:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zpug3/new_here_and_i_have_a_question/
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Hey everyone! Just discovered this sub after looking for reviews on To The Bone, that Netflix movie. Been struggling with EDs on and off since I was fourteen (now 27). I've asked this in other places but haven't found any answers.
I'm interested in research on EDs and poverty. Like any sort of correlation. I have found nothing but thought I would see what people's experiences were on here. I lived in abject poverty for most of my childhood and really feel that it affected my eating. Just looking for some anecdotal evidence from others!
[Discussion] Most obsessive ED thing you've done lately?
/u/fruitandfood [🦊 5'7" | 136.4 | 21.29 | F 🌻]
Created: Tue Sep 12 14:50:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zptq6/most_obsessive_ed_thing_youve_done_lately/
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I'll start! I ordered a sundae and ate all the berry toppings, but decided not to eat all the vanilla yogurt. But now instead of eating all the 430 calories of it, I only ate some. Did I do the reasonable thing and just guess? Nope!
I took a volume measurement of the amount left (basically exactly 1/2 a cup) then checked the volume of the actual container plus an extra .5 cup (2.5 cups)
I looked up the sundae without any toppings and it is 390 calories, so I dug through and ate all the toppings (i like berries ok), so I can assume I ate all 40 of those calories
The berries weren't accounted for in the volume measurement, so that means I ate 4/5 of the yogurt meaning 4/5 of 390 is 312 calories plus the 40 from the berries means 352 instead of 430
I then logged it as 430 because despite being extremely consistent in their portions and sizing, who knows?!
Anyway, please share the obsessive ED thing youve done lately and we can all have a laugh, or at the very least laugh at me :)
[Thinspo] Thinspo.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Tue Sep 12 14:39:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zpql8/thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/822zkpkyjilz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Apparently having an unhealthy and distorted emotional reaction to your body/weight/food and having healthy goals are toooootally not allowed in the same brain.
/u/skinnyhero [5' 4" | CW: 149.6 | 29.5% BF | -42.4 | NB/F]
Created: Tue Sep 12 14:39:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zpqfc/apparently_having_an_unhealthy_and_distorted/
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*makes grumpy noises about mental health memes trying to convince me I'm wrong for not wanting to be obese?*
*makes grumbly noises about my brain wanting me to eat nothing and also wanting to lift heavy shit*
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo 💎
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | CW:131lbs | GW 125| GW2 115lbs | F]
Created: Tue Sep 12 14:25:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zpn2i/daily_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/nkn4w8cbhilz.jpg
[Discussion] Those of you in a relationship and have lost a significant amount of weight, how has your SO reacted?
/u/PetraQuill
Created: Tue Sep 12 13:55:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zpg17/those_of_you_in_a_relationship_and_have_lost_a/
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[Rant/Rave] It's beginning to look just a little bit like Christmas...
/u/vibratehighest
Created: Tue Sep 12 13:45:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zpdk7/its_beginning_to_look_just_a_little_bit_like/
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Well, not too much. However, I walked into Target the other day to pick up some school supplies, and walked to the back, where they might have some extras. I was greeted with huge bags upon bags of chocolates, candies, caramel popcorn, and other empty calories. I'm not trying to stress anyone out, of course. However, I myself am super anxious about the upcoming three months of massive amounts of calorie intake at the end of each. Thanksgiving isn't so bad for me personally, since I went vegetarian. I can say no to a lot of things at the table now. I find it difficult to control myself around Halloween. Chocolate is my bane. Anyone else considering feigning illness and skipping at least one of these three hell nights completely? On the plus side, it'll look super normal for me to wear my usual sweaters out and about without anyone asking questions. All summer, all I got was "Oh my god! How are you not sweating in that thing?"
[Rant/Rave] Need to get some thoughts off my chest...starting a sport and have a love/hate relationship with gaining even the tiniest bit of muscle
/u/skinnyjudoka
Created: Tue Sep 12 13:25:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zp8m5/need_to_get_some_thoughts_off_my_cheststarting_a/
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Hi /r/proED.
So my fiance does judo, and recently, I started going with him to his dojo as a new white belt. I've only been going for about 2 weeks now, but I can already feel immense changes in my body in that short span of time. Normally, these changes would excite anyone else...except me. When I flex -- holy shit biceps like I've never had before; my legs feel stronger; my shoulders feel thicker and harder; my abs are starting to come out. But I have the strangest dissonance.
On the one hand, it actually thrills me to be getting stronger and harder. For the past 2 weeks, I have been flexing and feeling my new muscles nonstop. I fantasize about one day getting strong and skilled enough to throw my fiance and being able to legitimately randori or spar with him. So far, I usually pair up with another similar sized girl at the dojo.
However, when I actually look in the mirror, I hate it. I hate feeling like I'm getting bulky instead of skinny. And my idea of "bulky" is apparently not the same "bulky" as everyone else. I hear all the time "you should do weightlifting." And my response is always "Nah, I don't want to get bulky." And I hear back "you're not going to get bulky, you don't have enough testosterone like guys do to get bulky." What no one seems to get is that my idea of bulky is already [the girl on the right](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/03/91/3e/03913e48988a713057dcb1ea27e3b3b8.png), not the girl on the left. I love [long, lean, delicate, waify body types](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Crh4PhCUMAE62h2.jpg).
So now I'm at a crossroads where I simultaneously want to look long and lean and delicate and waify (see above)...while still being able to perform and progress in judo. They honestly feel like polar opposite objectives, and I am stressed out trying to compromise the two. I have considered no longer going, except I really do like judo, I like spending the extra time with my fiance, and I like the people I've met and have already made some new friends at the dojo.
I don't know if anyone else has gone through the exact same thing, but it feels great to say this to an audience who can at least identify with my body ideals and would understand why this would be such a dilemma to me (to continue doing judo or not even though I genuinely like it). So, thanks for reading.
Eating over TDEE to break plateau
/u/tylerxox0
Created: Tue Sep 12 13:21:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zp7oo/eating_over_tdee_to_break_plateau/
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[removed]
Going to Oktoberfest this weekend and so scared of the calories!!!
/u/hiitm
Created: Tue Sep 12 13:15:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zp677/going_to_oktoberfest_this_weekend_and_so_scared/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Ovulation and weight gain?
/u/Ender_Targaryen [5'5.5" | CW 138 | BMI 22.6 | -21 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 12 13:10:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zp4zy/ovulation_and_weight_gain/
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Does anyone else gain some weight when they are ovulating? I track my period with an app pretty obsessively and I've noticed a trend that I gain 2-3 pounds while ovulating for a couple of days.
Does anyone else experience this? Is it in my head as an excuse? I am hoping it is water retention because I was so close to my GW1 but then boom, weight gain from nowhere.
[Rant/Rave] Im a worthless piece of shit who deserves to die
/u/bokoblin-buddy
Created: Tue Sep 12 13:02:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zp34b/im_a_worthless_piece_of_shit_who_deserves_to_die/
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In other news, water is wet.
My boss fired me today for sticking up for my patients and calling attention to neglect in the facility I work at. Problem is, the patient has a private aide so I took it to their company. Which, yeah it doesnt look good, but my resident didnt get out of bed for almost 24 hours. And I cant really do anything about it bc the aide calls the shots.
Also, apparently, unsubstantiated claims made by her that im a gossip is also grounds for firing me. So thats cool I guess.
[Rant/Rave] Introduction, rant, and a few promises to myself. Hello
/u/rainbowheartnewstart
Created: Tue Sep 12 12:44:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zoyrv/introduction_rant_and_a_few_promises_to_myself/
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Hello proED. I have been here before, lurking on my oldest account, posting regularly on my old account, and then I went dead for 6 months. I am very sorry to say that I am back.
What caused me to leave? I chose recovery because I met the man I believe is the love of my life. I tried for him. I've... been trying hard. But I don't believe I've recovered. Instead of Ana/Mia, I've spiraled into severe BED. I've put on 25 pounds. I went from a size 9 to size 11 to size 13. He's aware of my eating disorder. He's happy that I'm happy.
But I'm not. My weight gain and constant eating has more negatives than positives. I have $400 in dresses I can't fit into anymore because of my weight gain. I have 5 pairs of pants I can't squeeze into, and I'm noticing I'm outgrowing the two that I can squeeze into. All the food I binge on comes with a cost, and I'm running short on money to pay bills. My boyfriend says he thinks I'm beautiful, and I appreciate him, but I don't feel comfortable in my own skin. I always find myself staring into the mirror, pinching and pulling at folds, and tracing my fingertips over my severe stretch marks.
Enough is enough.
I'm not going to say I've had my last donut. I'm not giving up drinking calories or having seconds. But ! It's important to reduce. I am just so overwhelmed by my shame and self hatred that I need to make a change, or else I'll suffocate. I promise to myself to make every day a new day in trying to love myself. I promise to finally seek the help I need in treating my BED. And I promise to start reducing my caloric intake, even if it's just 100 below TDEE.
I'm not embracing my ana/mia, I'm not /entirely/ relapsing. I just. I don't know. I need something to obsess over, to focus on. I NEED the numbers, the weighing, the obsession back.
Whatever the reason. I'm back. I won't share my previous account due to privacy reasons so here is a new introduction.
Hi! I'm Rainbow, a former bulimic with ana tendencies, and current BED sufferer. I'm in my first year of college, trying to get an associate in Early Childhood Education and an associate in Mathematics. I live with my boyfriend, we have a pet lizard, and my hobbies are couponing, crocheting, cleaning, and school. I'm 18, and a dfab demigirl.
I hope you all understand where I'm coming from. Thank you for reading.
[Discussion] Anyone else watch larger people on YouTube to feel better about themselves?
/u/daisyhands
Created: Tue Sep 12 12:37:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zox0d/anyone_else_watch_larger_people_on_youtube_to/
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God this is going to sound so shitty but if I binge or if I'm just not having a good body image day, I watch like plus size women/men try on hauls or plus size people doing mukbangs to make me feel a bit better. Don't get me wrong, they are all absolutely gorgeous people!! But just seeing people larger than me makes me feel like,,,better,,,???????? Idk !!!! It's sounds so nasty but I'm not doing it to hate on them because they genuinely are all beautiful. Anyone else?
[Discussion] Does anyone here try to lift heavy weights?
/u/sp0ngeb0bcirclepants
Created: Tue Sep 12 12:31:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zovq7/does_anyone_here_try_to_lift_heavy_weights/
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I enjoy lifting but I've found it much easier to do cardio with an empty fuel tank than to strength train with an empty fuel tank (in my experience).
Anyone have any pointers? There are very few things in life I enjoy and lifting is one of them. I was sexually traumatized in my early teens and really like the idea of feeling strong but restriction has hindered that.
[Help] Orangetheory Fitness
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 12 12:26:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zouk9/orangetheory_fitness/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] This is why I don't like people cooking for me
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 102.9 | 18.8 | -34 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 12 12:02:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zoott/this_is_why_i_dont_like_people_cooking_for_me/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] A Scale Appeared
/u/thefreckledfox_ [5'8" | 169.5lbs | 25.49 | -49.5lbs | F | GW: dainty]
Created: Tue Sep 12 12:01:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zooo2/a_scale_appeared/
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in the bathroom at work this morning. Logically I think it's because a bunch of the women here started doing Weight Watchers together, but fuck I literally thought I was hallucinating it until I stepped on it.
It's cool, I already weigh myself every time I'm in the bathroom at home and in my dreams at night, why not weigh myself at work, too? 💀💀💀
[Rant/Rave] Almost 3 months without weighing myself
/u/trippymotions
Created: Tue Sep 12 11:32:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zohyt/almost_3_months_without_weighing_myself/
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Over the summer, I was forced into therapy after my mom found out I tried to take my life. I'm 20 and go to school 4 hours away from my parents and live alone, but they threatened to disown me if I didn't go. My therapist told me that I shouldn't weigh myself because my mind obsesses over that number. At the time, that was okay with me. Since then, I've gone through a serious breakup and the stress of classes is catching up to me. Controlling what I eat is the only way I know how to keep a grasp on reality. The thing is, I haven't weighed myself in 3 months and I have no idea how big I actually am anymore because of the ED warping my mind and I've only been taking in around 300/400 calories a day. I don't know what's better anymore and I'm positive I don't want to recover right now.
[Help] Off topic but I need advice and I don't know who else to ask
/u/mushroomlevel [5'6" | 107 | 17.34 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 12 11:32:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zohwb/off_topic_but_i_need_advice_and_i_dont_know_who/
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I just moved to a new, affluent city and I have a preschool aged daughter. I looked at local preschools and the only one that had openings was $400 a month and a co-op, which means the parents help. It starts today.
Here's the thing, I'm young for a mom. I'm between 6 and 10 years younger than every other mother at the school and significantly less well off. I'm struggling to meet the tuition requirements while these women make upwards of 100k a year. I'm out of place. I know it, they know it. They also have a radically different parenting style than I do. Most don't allow their children any TV or sugar and I'm more relaxed about that stuff. I've considered dropping out completely but I really want my kid to go to preschool.
I'm feeling extremely self-conscious and it's making me restrict/binge hard. I eat nothing all day then binge when the sun goes down. I'm not sleeping either. I knew my social anxiety would catch up to me someday and I'm a wreck right now. I need advice to be confident and not let their judgments bother me. I don't know. Mods can delete this if it's too off topic.
Edit: Just got back and you guys were right, it wasn't nearly as bad as I was thinking! Thanks a miliion for the comforting words, they helped a lot.
Edit 2: Annnd I just started my period. That would explain the extra helping of emotions today.
[Rant/Rave] I got to have a joyful moment! [Rant/Rave]
/u/waxycat1994
Created: Tue Sep 12 11:29:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zoh90/i_got_to_have_a_joyful_moment_rantrave/
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Yesterday I was in my ballet class and I'm the awkward 23 year old in this class full of teenagers at my local studio. Anyway, I danced SO WELL and there was a moment when I was looking at myself in the mirror and I was like DAYUM LOOK AT THAT CLAVICLE. OH YEAH, LAND THAT TURN. I managed to eat the perfect amount before that allowed me to focus the whole time.
Of course I also went out at midnight and got a cider and ate half a huge ass plate of macaroni (hello, self sabotage) and then took a laxative and can't stop thinking about how gross my body is this morning while looking at all the numbers in MFP but MY MOMENT. IT WAS WONDERFUL.
[Tip] Delicious 60 calorie find in the baby food aisle?! I'm in love.
/u/amberinthewoods [5'2.5" | 114.6 lbs | 29F]
Created: Tue Sep 12 11:20:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zof3m/delicious_60_calorie_find_in_the_baby_food_aisle/
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http://www.beechnut.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/Crispies_Vanilla-2-487x500.png
[Thinspo] Anybody else follow nsfw subreddits for the thinspo? (I.e r/realgirls etc.)
/u/th3Y3ti
Created: Tue Sep 12 10:25:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zo2ah/anybody_else_follow_nsfw_subreddits_for_the/
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I always feel so weird looking at pictures that are mostly geared towards guys to get their rocks off or whatever, but I always look at them cuz most of them have bodies that are straight up goals lol
[Discussion] This is me before and after a meal. DAE get a huge belly whenever they eat?
/u/sp_600 [5'7🌻107🌻16.8🌻20f]
Created: Tue Sep 12 10:18:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zo0pc/this_is_me_before_and_after_a_meal_dae_get_a_huge/
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https://i.redd.it/5jdr3e5f9hlz.jpg
Why am I like this 🙃
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 12 09:54:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6znugr/why_am_i_like_this/
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https://i.redd.it/i788dtyz4hlz.png
[Help] Is purging spicy food actually more harmful to your throat or is it just painful?
/u/overweightandstress [5'8 | CW: 144 lb | BMI: 21.4 | GW: 127 lb| F]
Created: Tue Sep 12 08:20:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zn8qm/is_purging_spicy_food_actually_more_harmful_to/
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[removed]
[Help] Why is Sparkling ICE 12 calories in the UK but zero calories in the US?
/u/overweightandstress [5'8 | CW: 144 lb | BMI: 21.4 | GW: 127 lb| F]
Created: Tue Sep 12 07:45:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zn13v/why_is_sparkling_ice_12_calories_in_the_uk_but/
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Are the Americans lying or do they just have some special zero cal chemical you're not allowed to use yet in the U.K.?
[Help] I cry like, all the damn time lately.
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 106 | 18.5 | F 🍍]
Created: Tue Sep 12 07:09:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zmu5h/i_cry_like_all_the_damn_time_lately/
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seriously. I was recovering a few weeks ago, up until last week. now I'm relapsing, (agaaaian). and yet it doesn't matter. this week, last week, three weeks ago, I've just been crying SO EASILY. Half the time, something bugs me more than it should and it makes me cry. the other half of the time, I just feel sad or angry for no reason and then cry at the smallest unrelated thing.
does any one else...have this happen? how do you not cry so often? I'm not even sure if this is ED related, really, you guys are just always the most understanding.
[Intro] Hey guys 💞
/u/ohwellwhatever90
Created: Tue Sep 12 06:53:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zmr53/hey_guys/
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Been lurking for a bit so I thought I'd make a sneaky new account and start actually being part of this community. You guys seem super nice and I could use some friends (sad and alone, yes).
I'm 27, have had an ED since early teens. Currently 166cm and 45kg. No treatment to speak of at the moment because I'm poor AF.
I've been maintaining this weight for like 6 months now after relapsing a year or so ago. I dropped from 55 to 45 and then kind of sat here. I've been going back and forward mentally between recovering and gaining or maintaining in quasi-recovery type thing like I have been or losing again. My life has been so, so shitty lately though, like I can't even begin to describe, my husband is a drug addict, we have no money, my toddler is incredibly hard work, I'm thousands of miles from family, and I have a load of chronic health issues and depression blahblah you get the picture.
Long story short, everything sucks right now and I just want to zone out and focus on food and my body again. I've had 43 kg in my head for a while now to get under 16 BMI. I definitely don't want to start purging again, just get my food under control so I can feel better about myself and life in general.
Oh and a major trigger for me right now - my husband doesn't think I look underweight at all. Maybe it's because he's naturally crazy thin, but he thinks I look good as I am and don't need to gain, which makes recovery feel like a totally absurd idea. And of course I agree with him - my clothes sizes are small but I look very normal-thin which seems weird at this weight but whatever, more reinforcement that I should lose.
Sorry for the rant guys. It's been a while since I've talked to anyone and I'm lonely as hell and just want to indulge my ED for now. Thanks for listening ❤️❤️
[Rant/Rave] College
/u/ThisIsGumpy
Created: Tue Sep 12 06:43:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zmpb8/college/
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So I'm finally off to college! Most would think 'yay! Freedom! Fasting all the time!'
I've been doing the opposite and it's time I came clean. I go on binges almost every day. Like well over maintenance binges. I started college at 112 and I'm now at 118-120. I feel so disgusting and gross.
I cannot believe I let myself get this way. I just want to cry or cut my weight off. It's gonna be so hard losing all of this but I need to get back on the wagon.
I need to start running every day again.
I need to eat less portions to shrink my stomach.
I need to distract myself.
Honestly y'all. I'm dying here and I thought I would lose the weight when I got here.
[Discussion] Anyone else not weigh themselves?
/u/elfenfairy
Created: Tue Sep 12 06:35:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zmnw2/anyone_else_not_weigh_themselves/
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I go through periods of like weighing myself obsessively and being too scared to even step foot on the scale. Right now I'm in the latter.
I've told myself I can't weigh myself now until someone comments on my weight loss. At least then I'll know it's real weight and not water weight and beside I'm too terrified of the number being huge idk it'd make me want to die honestly. So I'm just avoiding it and going by how I look and how my clothes fit for now.
[Sticky] Self-care and Beauty Q+A September 12, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Sep 12 06:10:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zmjhu/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_september_12_2017/
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Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Self-care and beauty threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! September 12, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Sep 12 06:10:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zmjgv/daily_food_diary_september_12_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 12, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] It's not too late...fuck. ok try again...fresh start. I'm tired of all this I just want to be happy. Also rants about my identity
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Tue Sep 12 06:03:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zmi77/its_not_too_latefuck_ok_try_againfresh_start_im/
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On mobile flair as rant rave or something like that.
It's been bingey couple weeks and I feel like my weights gone up but some clothes fit but I can't tell cause I live and work in comfier clothes. I wear baggy shorts or skinny jeans with a bit of stretch on my days off and too work and at work I wear baggy chef pants, a oversized tank top and a slightly fitted chef's jacket..im a cook in kitchen because I'm a masochist.
I am surround by food for 8 to 10 hours a day and sometimes eat out of stress at work or when I get home. Taking my break and eating carbs or delicious vegan chocolate chip pancakes sure seems to improve my mood when it's been a stressful shift and I don't eat before work.
I fast or restrict to below 500 calories then binge on anywhere from 1500 to as much as 4000 calories and feel awful. I've been trying to hit my goal weight for months and barely maintain I've lost and gained the same 10 to 15 pounds for 8 months now. I keep telling myself if I'm stricter I'll hit my goal weight before the holidays like thanksgiving...still two months away. Or Halloween. One month away. I just keep fucking up. Then my goal gets pushed back again.
First it was July. Then it was August it's September and I hate that I still hate myself and have no self control. I have a gym membership but can't drag myself out of bed to go before work or on my days off because I need my sleep. I also don't feel comfortable at the gym because of all the fit people or crazy old people.
I had a bad morning at the gym and told off this obviously anorexic old lady who had beed on treadmill for over an hour on maximum incline for three days straight. I know cause I saw her every morning going before I started and when I was leaving and I was so bothered by her. I projected all my disdain for this illness on her and her perpetuating the idea that keeps so many people miserable and it made me hate everyone responsible for making thinness desirable. This makes me sound like an asshole but I digress.
I have also been struggling a lot with my identity recently with trying to come out as being genderqueer/nonbinary meaning i don't like being labeled or thought of as strictly male or masculine I prefer androgynous or agender (not to be gendered just they them pronouns or my name) i also have been trying to use my chosen name more in my life which is both liberating and scary because it's more feminine than my birth name and some people give me weird looks. I've been trying to express more fluidity and andeogeny more feminity to offset my sort of masculine appearance. My weight and proportions have really upset me though because I feel like it keeps me from presenting how I like.
I'd like to look more feminine and be smaller so I can wear whichever clothes I want and have them suit me and fit my body but I hate It. I'm the low side of average male sizes and the high side of female average sizes. I'm a size fucking 12! That's plus sized. I am not plus sized and don't want to be thought of as such so it's really upsetting.
At work a lot of my coworkers are smaller but we do have some people who are women and bigger than me and they clearly exist and can find clothes because they wear them to work but I just feel ashamed of my body for what it is. I'm ashamed of my body and my self. I feel like less of a human being and just like all my little traits make me unfortunate to be around.
I'm feel ostracized and like I don't have friends and my coworkers seem to not like me. I also wish I could just have the courage to not be ashamed of myself and how I want to be.
Here is what I would say to them, my coworkers and friends and family if I could.
Hello. I know that for a long time I was into typically masculine things but the truth is I believe that was learned behavior and I did so out of peer pressure and wanting to fit It. After being an adult I realized that my preferences for a lot of things are more deviant from the norms. I like masculine things and feminine things and I feel like I am both and neither. I don't feel like the male label fits me as a person because I believe I am more than that and also different. I am also uncomfortable being called by a name I never chose. I will continue using my birth name for convincien when necessary but would very much like to be address using non binary neutral pronouns they and them or by my chosen name Willow. I can accept if this is different for you having known me a long time or not long enough but it would really make me feel more comfortable to have my identity be recognized and validated in this way. Thank you and by telling you all this it is my confidence that this will not lead you to judge me for being honest about who I believe to be my genuine and authentic self..
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] 1kg from first goal
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Tue Sep 12 06:03:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zmi4x/1kg_from_first_goal/
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[removed]
[Discussion] September 12th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 12 05:35:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zmdgx/september_12th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What are you chasing at this moment?
[Rant/Rave] I can't stop bingeing and I'm going crazy :(
/u/pm_me_dog_picz
Created: Tue Sep 12 05:33:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zmdad/i_cant_stop_bingeing_and_im_going_crazy/
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What happened to 14/15/16 year old me who could fast for days and survive for weeks on sub-500 cals?
Now I keep bingieng almost every night. This has been happening for like weeks. Two nights in a row I've binged now. I need to get back to restricting, I've gained like 3 lbs and I feel so disgusting, and to top it all off I just ordered new clothes and I'm so afraid that I'll gain weight and weigh too much for them.
But I don't know how to stop this. I don't even know why I binge. I'll take food from my lunch at work and hide it in my sleeve or shove it deep into the garbage bin to get out of eating it, and 6 hours later I'm shoving food into my mouth like I'm training for a competitive eating competition. Or I'll obsess about the calories in an apple and then later that day eat 3 chocolate bars consecutively.
I just don't even know what to do. I'm so fucking disgusting. I'm diagnosed bulimia but I'm not even purging anything anymore because I'm scared of the health risks (b/c I'm also a hypochondriac...😂 😂 😂). So all this food just sits inside me.
Please please help me :( how do you guys get out of binge cycles? I'm going crazy. I can't keep doing this. Last time this happened I gained 60 lbs, I finally lost it all and now I'm so so so scared I'll gain it all back. I can't go back there. Please not again. :'( :'(
[Help] Losing weight TOO fast / skin sagging, how do I deal?
/u/ElectricWerm
Created: Tue Sep 12 04:23:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zm3f6/losing_weight_too_fast_skin_sagging_how_do_i_deal/
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I was always a big "curvy" girl my entire life, 5'7 big boobs and an ass to match, at most was 170lbs, but its never what I wanted to look like. Well with my birth control, manic episodes and just normal ED shit, weight has just been falling off the last few months, I'm a steady 125lbs and my goal was always 130lbs so I'm BEAMING. But like to the point where I dont know how to manage it. I went from a 36DDD to a 32DD, a size 10 to a size 3-4 in pants, which is something I've fucking DREAMED about since my freshman year in highschool (23 now)
BUT. I feel like it was too fast and now I feel like I have all this excess skin, not like super noticeable if you're not looking for it but who am I kidding, I'm ALWAYS looking. I'm so unbelievably happy about my weight loss and now I have ANOTHER thing to be self conscious about?? My ass is definitely more pancakey and the boobs need a pretty solid bra. Fuck fuck fuck. Wondering if anyone else struggles with this, is there anything I can do? Would working out help? More water, anything? Gain weight back a little. Ugh.
[Rant/Rave] Told my doctor about my eating disorder...
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 102.9 | 18.8 | -34 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 12 03:26:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zlvy9/told_my_doctor_about_my_eating_disorder/
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...got referred to a treatment facility in Amsterdam. Not sure what's going to happen. I feel like I'm going to get to the intake appointment and they're just going to be like uh, you're not thin enough to have a problem. Please come back when you actually need help.
[Other] Life On Mars
/u/RichardStarrkey [6'0 | CW:61kg | GW:55kg | M]
Created: Tue Sep 12 02:55:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zls0x/life_on_mars/
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I saw her again. She mentioned my weight.
Asked if I wanted to lose any more.
Of course I did. I can't tell her that.
I lie.
Don't get too skinny, she says.
I won't, I promise her, I lie, I'm going to work out.
I'm not. Not yet anyway.
She looks at me as though I come from another planet.
Maybe I do.
[Thinspo] My favourite thinspo :) (those arms and her legs!!)
/u/Nikkeinoot
Created: Tue Sep 12 02:43:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zlqna/my_favourite_thinspo_those_arms_and_her_legs/
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https://i.redd.it/zembpqc50flz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Disgusted
/u/SqizzyMcDingleBerry
Created: Tue Sep 12 02:41:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zlqg8/disgusted/
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I'm really not in a good space. Omg I feel so disgusting and I'm being so mean to myself... I would never let anyone else be as mean to me as I am to myself. I know it's irrational but everything I put in my mouth, chew and swallow just completely fucks up my head. I feel disgusted in myself... I'm disgusting. Why would anyone even be interested in my squishy fat body. If I keep restricting then I feel in control and the emptiness is happiness. Trouble is I've slipped the last few days and have been consuming around 1100 calories a day.... I feel like it's just too much. Too much. Omg I hate myself. Tomorrow it's back to 500... maybe 600. Ugh. I know my body will never be slim and toned (I weighed over 130kgs 10 years ago and lost over 50kg leaving sagging skin and awful stretchmarks) but if I just keep my awful consuming desire for food under control then at least I have a feeling of accomplishment. .. something to be proud of. I'm on my mobile so can't flair but this is totally a rant. Tomorrow I'm back. Back in Control. Back on top. Back to the welcoming emptiness.
[Rant/Rave] All I want to do is drink and purge
/u/dbk1982
Created: Tue Sep 12 01:42:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zlj7l/all_i_want_to_do_is_drink_and_purge/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Anyone ever try World of Warcraft? It's surprisingly helpful in taking up too much time to worry about eating.
/u/NotYourAverageTomBoy
Created: Tue Sep 12 01:35:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zlian/anyone_ever_try_world_of_warcraft_its/
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Plus the blood elfs are great thispo and you can put them in slutmog.
I'm sad about how slow my weight loss is 🙁 could use some support
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Tue Sep 12 01:17:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zlfyx/im_sad_about_how_slow_my_weight_loss_is_could_use/
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[removed]
[Help] At what point do I use a laxative?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 12 00:46:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zlbuj/at_what_point_do_i_use_a_laxative/
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[removed]
GUYS I discovered the best chips substitute for salsa 😍
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Tue Sep 12 00:44:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zlbf1/guys_i_discovered_the_best_chips_substitute_for/
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I don't know why I never thought of this before: green bell pepper wedges. The flavor combo is perfect (green bell pepper is awesome in nachos) and it's crunchy like a chip. Salsa and green peppers are also super low calorie, so I feel zero guilt after. Hello again salsa, I missed you 😄
EDIT: 1 whole green bell pepper (the red/yellow/orange are slightly higher calorie) which will give you about 2 cups of "chips" + 1/4 cup of salsa is only about 50 calories
[Rant/Rave] Hitting new lows. Letting my crazy leak out to my friends. Asked them to pay me $20 (of my own money) back every week I lose half a pound.
/u/letstryforkarma
Created: Tue Sep 12 00:37:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zladi/hitting_new_lows_letting_my_crazy_leak_out_to_my/
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My friends have seen me my entire life struggle with weight loss with short bursts of success. They congratulated me ecstatically when I finally did once. Then berated me when I gained much more later.
Either way, even though I've tried to keep my struggles to myself, they've undoubtedly heard me say things like
"I'm really going to lose weight this time", or
"I've started going to the gym a lot. I'm taking it more seriously than ever now"
Thinking about that makes me cringe and want to move to a new place and start all over as a normal attractive person once the weight is off. But goddam do I know that's a messed up thought to have.
Recently, I've decided to ask a friend for help. Transferred some money to him and gave him instructions on what to do with it if I failed to meet my goal..... I have.
But now it's time for round two. I asked a different friend and almost instantly realized how stupid I sound asking a friend to simply weigh me and pay me back some cash if I meet my goal. I'm really letting my mental disorder show right now while trying to reach out for support I thought might benefit me.
So right now, I'm asking my original friend to do the $20 payback per week if I meet my weigh-in goal. It's fucked up. I know. Very ED-like.
My issue is that I don't mind how nuts my ED is as long as the scale goes the direction I want it to.
Honestly, apart from my lifelong obsession to just want to not be fat, and of course the whole money-back weight loss scheme, the measures I'm taking to lose weight are not that bad as far as EDs go. My OBSESSION and mental health state being extremely tied to whether or not I succeed at weight loss is VERY ED.
But I don't really purge or restrict or any other physical symptoms. I go to the gym 4 days a week despite my ED wanting 7. I eat around 2000 calories a day (fat weightlifting male here), despite starting out the day wishing I could do 1500 or less to expedite things.
Historically, my issue is binge eating. Pure and simple. But my efforts to recover from binge eating and finally lose some weight and restore normalcy turns into a binge/restrict cycle which I cannot keep up for long throughout a year before I lose faith and return to pure binging (has happened 3 times in my life for several years).
**I cannot tell the difference, sometimes, between binge-eating recovery and obsessive, ED-fueled exercise and restricting.**
It's hard to tell because I have 80 lbs of pure fat on my body. So no, technically what I'm doing is great for my overall health (moderate cardio, moderate weightlifting, moderate eating), but it just comes from such an extreme mental state of "I have to do this or life won't be worth living if I stay fat forever".
**Could I actually be carrying out moderate steps to recover from the act of binge eating while my ED is trying to tell me what I'm doing is extreme and won't last and a binge in the future is inevitable?**
I haven't been keeping a "days since" binge counter because I feel like it may be more detrimental to my mental health than not. I'm trying to focus on each day at a time and only concern myself with the behavior I'm carrying out RIGHT NOW rather than what I've done in the past or will do in the future (e.g. "I'm gonna exercise/diet so hard this week that this binge won't even matter").
Could this be progress? I was very high risk this past weekend and I ended up not binging each night I was alone and perfectly set up to with lots of foods I like stashed away....
I feel like I could be recovering. Although I do still have plans to follow through with treatment when I get a friggen call back from them anytime now...
/thanks for reading my rant
[Rant/Rave] can't tell if the ED is keeping me alive or killing me
/u/vermillionfate [5'1 | CW: 108lbs | GW: 98lbs | UGW: 88lbs ✨]
Created: Tue Sep 12 00:28:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zl97v/cant_tell_if_the_ed_is_keeping_me_alive_or/
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A few days ago I almost ended everything, but the r/proED community on Peach kept me alive and talked me through it even though my IRL community was markedly absent when I was asking for help. (thanks peaches!!)
Recovery is such a tenuous process and I've lived in it with mostly positive results. But at this point, I'm unsure as to if I can sustain recovery and not try to kill myself along the way. On the flip side, if I don't get my ass in gear and recover, the ED is going to kill me.
I feel trapped. And the fucked up thing is that I know the root of this has nothing to do with food. I don't care about food. I don't like cooking. I don't like counting calories, or bingeing, or purging, or any of the ED stuff that we do. It's all a symptom of this much bigger issue. And I feel like recovery is failure, even though intellectually I know that it is survival.
[Help] I just binged.
/u/sarahr215
Created: Tue Sep 12 00:23:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zl8mi/i_just_binged/
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[removed]
[Other] what music do yall listen to? i mostly listen to country, there's a lovely thinspo girl in this video
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 11 23:27:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zl0fn/what_music_do_yall_listen_to_i_mostly_listen_to/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvKyBcCDOB4
[Rant/Rave] Silver linings
/u/fiberopticjellyfish [5'2" | CW 156.8 | GW 110 | BMI 29.8 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 11 23:20:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zkzff/silver_linings/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Opened up to a coworker about my ED. She didn't even care lol.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 11 23:19:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zkz7c/opened_up_to_a_coworker_about_my_ed_she_didnt/
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[removed]
[Goal] A small goal reached is still a goal reached.
/u/skeletonne18
Created: Mon Sep 11 23:18:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zkz3w/a_small_goal_reached_is_still_a_goal_reached/
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I f i n a l l y dropped some weight, in a way I could feel it was going to happen. I only started restricting again a few days ago and today I weighed myself and had dropped 1kg! Finally hit 77.6kgs (morning weigh after using the loo) only 3 more till I've lost 10kgs which sounds insane to say out loud. I never thought I'd be able to do something like that, it's making me want to restrict harder to see how far I can go but I don't want to ruin myself but I do at the same time :)))))) I want food but I don't want to fuck up what I've achieved so yeah nah. I might post some pictures later to see if there any noticeable weight lost when I reach the 10kg loss mark. 💕
[Discussion] Let's share weight loss strategies!
/u/saptashati [5'6" | 153.6 | 24.6 | 26.4 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 11 22:46:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zktux/lets_share_weight_loss_strategies/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Does anyone else with Children worry they'll pick up your bad food habits?
/u/Ladybeeortoise [5'6" | 113 |18.2 | GW: 105 | 34/F]
Created: Mon Sep 11 22:22:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zkpxz/does_anyone_else_with_children_worry_theyll_pick/
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The reason I ask is my son is 11 and he has said some things that I find alarming as a parent - yet he has obviously learned from me. For instance, I asked my son to finish his dinner and his response was "I don't want to get fat, mom".
When he was younger, and I weighed a little more, he told me that I was starting to get fat and I should exercise more. It never dawned on me that me saying things like "Ugh, my thighs are huge" or "I need to run off some of my dinner" would affect him the way it did. I hate myself for it as I don't want him trapped in this hell.
Basically.
/u/teamtwisty
Created: Mon Sep 11 22:06:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zknci/basically/
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https://i.redd.it/4qx6pqzqmdlz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Going through my literal all time low
/u/tacehtelle [5"7 | 119.5 | 18.65 :( | 6.5 lbs :( | Female]
Created: Mon Sep 11 22:01:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zkmig/going_through_my_literal_all_time_low/
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I have binged every day for a month, gained 4 pounds, and I have a B in one of my classes (as someone who strives for 97%+ this really makes me stressed). I have hit my all time low and I don't know how to get my life back into my hands, to regain my control. I feel like I am falling apart.
[Other] I'm curious about what yall listen to... I mostly listen to country
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 11 21:47:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zkk3v/im_curious_about_what_yall_listen_to_i_mostly/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1iAYhQsQhSY
[Help] Low calorie Thai food options?
/u/coconutfi [5'9" | CW: 122 | GW: 116 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 11 21:46:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zkjwb/low_calorie_thai_food_options/
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This guy wants to take me to his favorite Thai restaurant tonight. I've never had Thai so I have no idea where to start. I'm looking online, but I was wondering if anyone knows of anything??
I would get a salad but he seems really eager for me to try Thai... Ugh. I would prefer low carb but from what I've seen so far it seems like everything is rice and noodles...
This is so annoying I'm not big on Asian food this is going to be such a waste of calories.
But any help is appreciated!!
Unrelated and less important note: anyone have any movie suggestions for a date? He wants me to choose and I only really like rom-coms but don't want to make him sit through one
[Discussion] DAE have a binging "partner"
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 11 21:29:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zkh31/dae_have_a_binging_partner/
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[removed]
[Help] [Question] & [Help]. I am on adderall and am about to start Citalopram tonight. Will this effect me weight wise? (I am not asking for a diagnosis as I already have one.)
/u/NotYourAverageTomBoy
Created: Mon Sep 11 21:17:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zkf21/question_help_i_am_on_adderall_and_am_about_to/
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The adderall helps my appetite and gets me energized, but I'm afraid the Citalopram will counteract with the adderall. Or will it help it?
(Citalopram is an depression medication, a generic version of Celexa I believe.)
[Discussion] DAE get panic attacks when they don't lose weight for a while?
/u/Bleepbloopbroke
Created: Mon Sep 11 20:51:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zka9z/dae_get_panic_attacks_when_they_dont_lose_weight/
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I've been stuck at the same weight for a couple weeks now and I honestly can't figure out why. At first I thought it was water weight but it's stayed on so I don't know.
Anyway I get really panicky every time I step on the scale and realize that I'm forever fat and also just at random points during the day. It honestly controls my whole life and I have trouble focusing on anything else, including school and work.
Anyone else get like this?
On mobile please flair as discussion
[Other] Typical day when you have an eating disorder but you're also addicted to alcohol :/
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 11 20:50:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zka78/typical_day_when_you_have_an_eating_disorder_but/
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https://i.redd.it/dscgvyd99dlz.jpg
[Discussion] Anyone else's weight loss come to a standstill when they started working out?
/u/kzxwy [5' 6" | CW: 129.0 | HW: 145.0 | GW: 115.0 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 11 20:44:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zk8wb/anyone_elses_weight_loss_come_to_a_standstill/
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So I started out at 145, and after a couple months of eating 1000 cals per day managed to lose 15 lbs, even with quite a few slip ups and no exercise at all. Now that I'm down a bit I decided to start toning up. So two weeks ago I upped my calories just a bit to 1200 and have been doing 1 hour of intense exercise daily (running or weight lifting). According to every calculator EVER, at 5'6" 130ish lbs, I should still be losing 2 lbs a week. But, ever since I've increased the calories and exercise I've been at a complete standstill. I started at 129, and then my readings have been consistently between 128-130 for the past two weeks. It's been soooo frustrating to do all this work and not see any results on the scale. Anyone been through this, and did you eventually start losing again? How long did it take you? Thanks guys xx
[Rant/Rave] Anyway re: that weird ad, here are the few pictures. Never thought I'd share something like this.
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 19bmi | -140 | 30F | AU]
Created: Mon Sep 11 19:58:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zk05h/anyway_re_that_weird_ad_here_are_the_few_pictures/
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https://i.redd.it/keegq54zzclz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Tried my first halo top...
/u/Get-Closer [5'2 | 129 | 23.8 | -30 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 11 19:30:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zjulg/tried_my_first_halo_top/
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I was disappointed.
Okay, I've never been too interested in trying halo top tbh but they came out with the new flavors. Two of my favorite things are green tea ice cream and mochi, so you can imagine how excited I was to see the green tea mochi flavor!!
No. I ended up eating only half of the pint, but it was a huge waste of calories. There were only like two pieces of mochi and they didn't even taste good, and the ice cream itself tasted like flowers? I have weird tastebuds so some different types of tea can end up tasting like flowers depending on how they're made so maybe it's just me but it was NOT good.
Anyone else have the same experience? Is it worth trying another flavor or should I give up on halo top?
[Other] Recovery is kicking my butt, so I wrote a poem about my ED for the first time today
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 11 19:29:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zju9v/recovery_is_kicking_my_butt_so_i_wrote_a_poem/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I hate my face more than I'll ever hate my body
/u/w-a-m-s
Created: Mon Sep 11 19:13:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zjr14/i_hate_my_face_more_than_ill_ever_hate_my_body/
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I have to be skinny. Otherwise I have nothing. I don't care about it being perfect, I just can't be even normal weight or I'll just be so... average at the best angle on the best day. If my body was a ten it wouldn't matter, my face is seriously fucked up. I hardly even have any secondary female facial characteristics. It kills me inside to remember that some people can become gorgeous by everything I do and less, they can have more worth in relationships and friendships than I ever will. I hate being ugly and I can't gain any weight because of it.
[Help] Is hair loss from being underweight or just restriction?
/u/thinismygame [5'6.5" | 132 | F | 22]
Created: Mon Sep 11 19:00:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zjoe0/is_hair_loss_from_being_underweight_or_just/
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So I've been restricting since May successfully with a period of binging for about a month. I'm not underweight but lately I've been noticing (or maybe fear is projecting this) that I've been "shedding" a lot & pulling more strands out than normal. I'm terrified because I have (not to brag) really pretty curly hair and I really don't want to lose it. It's one of the few things I like about myself hahaha. I eat like 800 cals a day (up from 500) which feels like a lot.
I've been great this past month and have gotten to 132, and honestly I think I may be happy at 120 (lol @ past me wanting to be 135...). BUT the plan I've been on would get me to 120 by October 22nd since I can't exercise as much being in grad school. I planned to go up to 1k then 1200 once I got there but if my hair is falling out I'm starting to freak and wonder if I should increase before then. But thennnn my ED is like NO 800 is too much already, what is wrong w/ you?! Maybe it'll be okay for the next 6 weeks?! But then maybe not?!
What would you all do? Any vitamin supplements I can take?! RIP my hair.
[Rant/Rave] Well, that's useful. Embarrassing, but useful...
/u/LibraryLuLu [H165 | CW67 | WL67kg | GF66]
Created: Mon Sep 11 18:36:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zjjon/well_thats_useful_embarrassing_but_useful/
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I'm a big fan of the chew and spit as a way to manage a binge. Not always successful, but worse than the chew and swallow, amirite?
I thought I was discreet at work. Never in front of anyone (have my own office), and everything wrapped in tissues and then in a box before throwing it away.
This Monday I came in to find a little gift from the cleaner. A roll of tiny green plastic tear-away baggies, with a note 'for your dip'.
Sigh. Actually, these are great, really fit for purpose. I should get her a gift in return...
[Rant/Rave] Just putting together a personal amateur photo project thing of my body parts, ribs, hip bones, etc, this morning and this ad comes up
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 19bmi | -140 | 30F | AU]
Created: Mon Sep 11 18:15:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zjfee/just_putting_together_a_personal_amateur_photo/
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https://i.redd.it/7vbcsi3ghclz.jpg
[Other] Heartbroken binge-fest
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 161.8 | GW:118 | -4 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 11 17:50:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zjadc/heartbroken_bingefest/
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I had to put one of my pet rats to sleep Friday night. I loved him so fucking much. I cried all the way to the vet and all the way home, and then kept crying all throughout a weekend long binge-fest of pizza, beer, and other junk. Still crying. Trying not to beat myself up about it (even though the scale IS), but I'm just so heartbroken and depressed and all I want is to have my baby back. Sorry for the semi off topic post guys
Eta: thank you all for being the kindest most understanding people 💜
I originally got these boys as a sort of anti-suicide tool. I mean, if I'm gone who is gonna agree to take care of my rats? And they've gotten me through multiple suicidal lows and self-harm episodes. I want to die, but I still have two babies that need me so I'm not going anywhere. It's just gonna take time I guess. Love you guys
[Discussion] Has anyone brought their scale to work? Am i crazy for wanting to do this?
/u/OMFGLDQ [💮5'3" | 95.4lbs | 17.37 | HW ~125lbs | 👬]
Created: Mon Sep 11 17:46:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zj9j7/has_anyone_brought_their_scale_to_work_am_i_crazy/
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I'm having zero luck, the house I'm staying at has such uneven floors I can't get a consistent reading anywhere ~~where I can hide that I'm weighing myself~~ so I'm thinking about bringing it with me to work on Wednesday so I can finally KNOW
Except idk if the boy would notice or get upset or idk
Bleh, I feel CRAZY but I haven't been able to weigh in almost two months x.x
[Other] There is no middle ground
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Mon Sep 11 17:44:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zj922/there_is_no_middle_ground/
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Loses weight: the world is sunshine and rainbows. I love my job. My life is amazing. Being stuck in traffic means I have more time to listen to music. La la la la
Doesn't lose weight: fuck you. Fuck that. Fuck this. Existence is pointless and I hope everyone and everything burns in a fire.
[Rant/Rave] Lunch time aka what food do i want to cook and then sit in proximity for half an hour.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Mon Sep 11 17:40:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zj8aj/lunch_time_aka_what_food_do_i_want_to_cook_and/
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On mobile so flair as rant rave or something
I used to never make food for my 30 min breaks but lately I have tried to appear more "normal" and also to push back my break because I don't like taking breaks early but I am forced to. Lately I've been making things I wish I could eat that I ultimately end up boxing up and giving away or outright tossing in the compost.
I make plates of food then feel speechless because any amount seems like too much. I want my food to fit on our designated kids plates but often times it doesn't and I don't want to eat off normal plates. I sort of want people to think I have control or just don't eat much.
Binge days at work are awful though I am surrounded by food cause I work in a restaurant and my meals can be just about anything under the vegan sun on or off our menu with the ingredients we have I have made a lot of things and I feel extra shameful when people see me eat a lot.
Yesterday during a ten minute break I ate two good sized chocolate chip pancakes. In front of my co-worker who said I couldn't eat both in my ten minute break and so I showed him....thrn proceeded to purge in the restroom five minutes later....
I have no control and working in a restaurant is stressful..i just wish I could be dainty and small and eat like a bird like so many girls or people I know or forget to eat or actually full. The reality is I seldom feel full and I always regret eating..
Willow.
[Discussion] What arguments do you hear from people without EDs?
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 113.8 | GW: 105 | M/15]
Created: Mon Sep 11 17:28:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zj5sz/what_arguments_do_you_hear_from_people_without_eds/
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Whenever I bring up my goal weight outside of this sub I hear shit like
"You're a guy, you should want to gain weight"
"You're already skinny"
"You're going to die"
"You're just going to gain it all back"
[Tip] Y'all..here's a fix for peanut butter cravings and chocolate cravings and it's not even bad.
/u/morose_adipose [5'2 | 94ish | F]
Created: Mon Sep 11 17:07:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zj1i4/yallheres_a_fix_for_peanut_butter_cravings_and/
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So I was craving sweets all day yesterday for some damn reason. Boredom, stress, etc most likely but I was determined not to give in to it and eat a bunch of garbage. So I improvised with safe foods and holy shit.
Take 4 tbsps of PB2, mix with 2 tbsp of water. Roll the peanut butter mixture into bite sized balls and put them on wax paper. Then put them in the freezer for about 30 minutes. Mix 1 tbsp Hershey unsweetened cocoa powder with a splash (just enough to make it creamy) of water and add your favorite 0 cal sweetener (cuz that shit is bitter without it!). Drop the peanut butter balls into the Hershey's and coat them in the chocolate, then drop them back on wax paper and put them back in the freezer for another 20 mins or so.
This amount makes about 7-8 balls (hehe) depending on how small or large you make them. Macros are 100 calories, 7g net carbs, 4g fat and 10g protein.
They are amazing and totally satisfied my sweet cravings. If you let them melt in your mouth, they are heavenly.
[Rant/Rave] Ughhh
/u/peachy-cinnamon
Created: Mon Sep 11 16:09:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zipd9/ughhh/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] ED boobs and bf issues...
/u/napalmlife_ [5'6" | 104 | 16.78 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 11 15:36:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zii6v/ed_boobs_and_bf_issues/
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Alright, so I never had big boobs to begin with. At their largest, they were a 30B. Now They are a 30A thanks to my ED! I hate hate hate my small boobs more than anything.
I've had the same loving boyfriend for two years. At the start of our relationship, he once made the comment that he "wished my boobs were as firm as my ass." I will never forget that. He has since apologized obviously since it was over a year and a half ago but it still sticks. During a rough patch in our relationship about a year ago he admitted to being tempted by this giant-titted girl at our college. That hurt but he was crying when he told me how bad he felt for having those feelings. It is all over and done with and we are in a good place in our relationship. HOWEVER...I have this lurking feeling that he hates my boobs. This feeling that whenever he sees them or touches them that he wishes they were hers or that they were bigger. I know he loves me but my anxiety fucks with me. I just want to feel good enough for him...I cant tell if this is all in my head. Anyone feel similar pain?
(Also, I have to see that girl all the time around campus and it makes me feel shittttyyyy)
[Rant/Rave] I feel like I'm not losing any weight
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 96ish |17.6ish| 20F]
Created: Mon Sep 11 15:29:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zigix/i_feel_like_im_not_losing_any_weight/
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I restrict to around 600 cals every single day, sometimes a little more, sometimes a few hundred less, and yet I feel like I'm not losing any weight at all. I look in the mirror and even though I know people are concerned, I can't see why.
I still look so fat. I still have chubby thighs, and a fat stomach.
I feel like I'm actually GAINING weight. It's so weird. I'm faint all the time and very fatigued. My hair is even falling out, and yet I see no results.
It probably doesn't help that I haven't been able to weigh myself in like 3 weeks :\
Sorry for all the complaining. Just had to vent somewhere.
[Other] Crying over this sub...
/u/FastPhoria [5'10 | 126 | 18.1 / 17.6 | GW: 119 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 11 15:24:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ziflc/crying_over_this_sub/
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So I was just scrolling through the posts today, reading people's comments, and I was really struck hard by some things.
The care and selflessness that goes into every piece of sound advice.
The genuine kindness behind every offer of support and reassurance.
The honesty and generosity in the sharing of achievements.
This sub is made up of some of the most wonderful people out there, I'm sure. I can be sat in my room, having shut everyone out, being torn apart by ED thoughts and depression. But I don't feel alone because I know that this community is right here ready to catch me if I ever need it. I can't believe you all are so kind. Joining this sub has changed my life so much for the better. So, I wanted to say:
Thank you to all of you. I hope with all of my heart that I can match the love and generosity I see so often here.
<3
[Discussion] I'm curious what yall listen to, i listen to mostly country
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 11 15:17:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zie00/im_curious_what_yall_listen_to_i_listen_to_mostly/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvKyBcCDOB4
[Discussion] Eating disorders aren't glamorous- they're...
/u/ireallylikerent [5'1" | GW: 80lbs | Post-Recovery | 16F]
Created: Mon Sep 11 15:11:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zicpn/eating_disorders_arent_glamorous_theyre/
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[removed]
[Goal] Less than 100 🎉💯
/u/Rosalie_aqua [5'3" | 99.6 | 17.5 | GW 100 | 18F]
Created: Mon Sep 11 15:07:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ziblj/less_than_100/
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https://i.redd.it/n135dbrxjblz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Gained 3lbs 😡
/u/dbk1982
Created: Mon Sep 11 14:58:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zi9ji/gained_3lbs/
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Because I have absolutely no self-control. I even took safe food to my parents house. But of course we went and had Mexican food and then I binged and had Ramen after that which I purged because I felt so gross. (I found a new purging spot on the way to my parents house out in the woods) Then I made them dinner which of course I ate and we watched a movie and I had ice cream which I also purged. Then after everybody went to sleep I ate two sandwiches which I didn't purge and I should have. THEN like a dumbass I had fast food on the way home yesterday which I couldn't purge because my husband was home. Now I am 3 pounds heavier than I was four days ago and I feel like shit. I really need to get on the treadmill and run my fat ass tired but the baby is awake and there's no way I'll be able to run for even ten minutes without having to stop. So now there's absolutely no way that I'm going to hit my goal this week.
[Intro] Intro!!
/u/Nikkeinoot
Created: Mon Sep 11 14:47:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zi6yy/intro/
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Hi!! So I'm not new here, but I've been lurking on here for about a year and a half, I think? And though it might be time to finally actually post something! Anyway, I'm Nikkie and I've been stuck in a binge-restrict cycle for about two years now, I was managing for a while and eating "healthy" (literally just eating ~1200 to ~1400 calories of junk food everyday..) And after a month or two I stepped on the scale and found out I am now 5 kg above what used to be my highest weight :')
So naturally I triggered myself right back into full blown restricting, hence this post.
Anyway, I'll try and update you throughout whatever this is. I'm not weighing myself for a month or two because I want to get at a lower weight first (Doesn't make a lot of sense, I know.)
Have a good day and whether you're maintaining or restricting or fasting or whatever else, good luck! <3
PS: I've been in so many communities and this is the best by far, everyone supports each other no matter what they're going through unlike those little devils on MPA just bullying each other into an eating disorder. I love every single one of you :)
[Help] 124 lbs 4 days ago... back up to 130 lbs today.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 11 14:45:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zi6j9/124_lbs_4_days_ago_back_up_to_130_lbs_today/
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[removed]
[Other] Any fellow vegans with EDs?
/u/mypure [5'8 | 20 | 🍑: mypure]
Created: Mon Sep 11 14:35:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zi44k/any_fellow_vegans_with_eds/
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I'd like more vegan people to talk to who also share the struggle of an ED.
I can count my consumption of animal products in the past 40 days on 1 hand.
So I'm a ~new~ vegan and getting very serious about it.
Also, if you have orthorexia / obsession with nutrition, comment below so we can connect! :D
[Help] pls talk me out of binging on pizza
/u/7376549
Created: Mon Sep 11 14:27:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zi2as/pls_talk_me_out_of_binging_on_pizza/
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[removed]
[Discussion] How I had a binge today and still felt good about myself
/u/CosmicCatAttack
Created: Mon Sep 11 14:24:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zi1o3/how_i_had_a_binge_today_and_still_felt_good_about/
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Ok, so I am feeling bloaty and awful because of that but I'm still feeling much better than usually following a binge because after I had finished eating half a pizza, potato wedges (or chips, from papa johns) and a big big serving of super sugary cinnamon twists, my flatmate walked into the living room - which was my binge space right now. I try to laugh my binge off to him and then he said I looked like I needed to eat and that I had lost a lot of weight.
I feel so good about this. I mean, I have lost a bit but I think my body composition has changed due to exercise. I want to lose more and I am still fat as fuck but this kind of made me feel not so fucking awful about the binge. It's nice to get positive feedback I guess.
[Rant/Rave] I said F it and it feels so good...for now!
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Mon Sep 11 14:24:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zi1lm/i_said_f_it_and_it_feels_so_goodfor_now/
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I've been really struggling recently mostly with the universe not cooperating with my restrict, refuel approach to life by granting me extreme swelling. I feel like ass, I was retaining so badly this weekend that I could barely bend my legs or move my fingers. My therapist said to rest. Did I? No. I continued to restrict and overexercised but then I did refuel. I woke up this morning and felt like ass. It's Monday, back to the usual grind. I decided "no." I called in sick, called my doggies to the bed and planned out my day. Reality tv, YouTube and I put the food scale away and have been eating whatever the hell I want without guilt. I'm sure it'll come tomorrow but in all of this I feel we forget that despite what we want to do, our bodies are suffering. My body is screaming and today I decided to listen to it. It feels nice but I'm sure it won't last and tomorrow I'll be panicking but hope to not restrict too heavily and dig the hole deeper. It's crazy people take mental health do nothing eat everything days all the time and for me it induces life threatening panic. Here's to a few more hours of "peace." I fear I'm losing control of my ED and I'll just continue this. Any words? This place is the best. Feel so alone right now.
[Rant/Rave] Dumb trigger
/u/curtis_the_caveman
Created: Mon Sep 11 14:15:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zhzj4/dumb_trigger/
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The past two weeks I've been really low restricting and exercising way too much and I've lost like 10 pounds, which is cool, but, as you all know, the side effects are very not cool. I kept trying to get myself to eat but I just couldn't do it. Then last night after fasting for four days straight I felt really sick and somebody offered me a plate of Chinese food. And for some reason I was able to eat the entire thing. I had a minute or two of panic but then I felt great! It was like a switch flipped or something. This morning I even had breakfast and felt really good, thinking that maybe I was finally gonna be better this time. But then, of course, this guy I've known for the past month complimented me on how I look and told me he was into me and there goes every ounce of will I had to eat out the window. I have absolutely no desire to eat because I guess I feel like I deserve to be hungry and dizzy and all that and I feel like if I lose enough weight then guys won't talk to me? I don't know, none of it really makes sense.
I guess it just sucks because I saw the light at the end of the tunnel and it was yet another bit of false hope. I'm sure you can all relate. Thanks for letting me vent xx
[Thinspo] Phoebe Tonkin
/u/mildolconf [5'9" | 134.2 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 11 14:12:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zhysl/phoebe_tonkin/
---
[removed]
[Help] Cold weather help (underwear suggestions)
/u/Blahblaahblacksheep
Created: Mon Sep 11 14:05:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zhxas/cold_weather_help_underwear_suggestions/
---
Any suggestions for long sleeved underwear brands? I've got arms that need a large length wise but are a ~small width wise. I was hoping to get a pack of them to save money and not have to do laundry every couple of days but I'm worried they'll fall down my arms constantly. Thanks in advance.
[Tip] Only 120 caps per CAN and so filling!
/u/dbk1982
Created: Mon Sep 11 13:54:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zhuqh/only_120_caps_per_can_and_so_filling/
---
https://i.redd.it/mou2hp907blz.jpg
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo 💎
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | CW:131lbs | GW 125| GW2 115lbs | F]
Created: Mon Sep 11 13:31:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zhpah/daily_thinspo/
---
https://i.redd.it/lcgapzxv2blz.jpg
[Discussion] Any specific time you like to eat between?
/u/daisyhands
Created: Mon Sep 11 13:29:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zhori/any_specific_time_you_like_to_eat_between/
---
I eat between 3pm-5pm, maybe 6pm if I have to but never past 7pm. Just curious to see if any of you have certain times you can and can't eat at?
[Thinspo] One of my new favourites, Magdalena Frackowiak
/u/MaybeUmaThurman
Created: Mon Sep 11 13:14:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zhl7o/one_of_my_new_favourites_magdalena_frackowiak/
---
https://i.redd.it/6tiqg6ctzalz.jpg
Eternal coffee breath
/u/gradsquests
Created: Mon Sep 11 13:08:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zhjq1/eternal_coffee_breath/
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[removed]
*eats one meal* brain: FAKER FAKER YOU DONT HAVE AN EATING DISORDER YOU FAKE LYING BITCH
/u/grimeygal
Created: Mon Sep 11 12:32:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zhb6e/eats_one_meal_brain_faker_faker_you_dont_have_an/
---
[removed]
[Thinspo] Can I be thinspo yet?
/u/helpima_klepto
Created: Mon Sep 11 12:08:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zh5b7/can_i_be_thinspo_yet/
---
https://i.redd.it/326qk6u0oalz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] 14 pounds in 2 days
/u/gettingagrip4 [5'3" | Baby Hippo | 22 | -70 | 31F]
Created: Mon Sep 11 11:42:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zgyyw/14_pounds_in_2_days/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I BINGED. I got fckn adult braces, cried for an hour and then binged.
/u/yesyeshihello [157cm | CW: 45.7kg | BMI: 18.54 | 27F]
Created: Mon Sep 11 11:38:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zgy78/i_binged_i_got_fckn_adult_braces_cried_for_an/
---
I can't believe I just did that. I want to die.
I know everyone does it but I hadn't since I relapsed and I was pretty proud of myself tbh. I'd been losing steadily... I don't know how I'll deal if I gain tomorrow morning.
I got adult braces. I already had the top teeth but today I got the bottom ones and they look awful and the dentist said I'd have to wear them for two years. TWO YEARS. I'll be 30.
I can't be 30 with braces. I wanted to get married and have babies and I can't fucking do that WITH BRACES ON.
So I came home and it all came out and I cried, and then I decided to eat. I'd just have dinner earlier.
Two caramel soy yogurts (92×2)
Bag of Skittles (154)
Chocolate animal cookies (189)
Golden Grahams cereal, 40g (154)
200g cooked pasta (314)
White vegan chocolate (110)
Slice of bread (114)
That's 1219 calories. Plus 156 I'd had for breakfast and lunch, makes 1375.
I haven't eaten over 800 calories for months.
Why did I do that. What the hell is wrong with me...
The worst thing about having bulimia & being a woman
/u/little-rosie
Created: Mon Sep 11 10:31:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zgiey/the_worst_thing_about_having_bulimia_being_a_woman/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Every day I realize more and more how crazy I am
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 11 10:07:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zgclu/every_day_i_realize_more_and_more_how_crazy_i_am/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] This season of Bojack (yes spoilers)
/u/DeadandPrettyUs
Created: Mon Sep 11 09:33:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zg4jh/this_season_of_bojack_yes_spoilers/
---
Can we all just talk about the little voice in the back of our heads going "Oh man, I wish I had an evil old lady dosing me with weightloss drugs."
I was totally convinced that Hollyhock had developed a full blown ED until the big reveal and I cannot describe my relief that she didn't.
I had such weird feelings throughout that whole storyline and I kind of want to know your takes on it?
[Help] Trio of triggers set me up for a relapse :/ so I guess I'm here again.
/u/skinnyhero [5' 4" | CW: 149.6 | 29.5% BF | -42.4 | NB/F]
Created: Mon Sep 11 09:13:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zg00l/trio_of_triggers_set_me_up_for_a_relapse_so_i/
---
Okay. Well. I left here for a long time because after discovering keto and steadily losing weight after my knee surgery I felt like I was in a good path.
As I approach my goal weight. (130. I was 149.6 this morning) I realize that I'm going to have to start eating at maintenance and that freaks me out. Especially because I want to gain muscle and be strong and feel powerful and I know I need to EAT for that. But that's terrifying and I'll deal with it when I get to 130.
I was 147.6 before I went on vacation. A weight I have never been below in my adult life. And I gained 4 lbs on my trip. And logically I knew it HAD to be water. Like I hadn't eaten enough to convert it into 4 lbs of fat. But a week later it hadn't come off. It had gone UP.
Couple this with an email for coolsculpting treatments and my family telling me I was fine the way I am and don't need to lose anymore weight (even though I'm still overweight. I'm not even in the healthy BMI range). I was in full down meltdown mode.
I managed to get through it without purging or using laxatives or cutting but that kinda left me with no outlet for the pain. And I'm a bit better today but realizing how hard this still is for me and how alone I feel.
Everyone sees how far I've come. No one sees that to me I feel the same.
[Rant/Rave] I don't know what I want. I'm really confused and it's making me hate myself.
/u/peculiar1t
Created: Mon Sep 11 08:40:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zfslb/i_dont_know_what_i_want_im_really_confused_and/
---
Background: I'm a 17 year old male and I've been struggling with anorexia since I was about 12-13. I've gone through recovery, but I lied to the nurse I worked with and my family and friends. I'm 1.75m and the weight I was supposed to be at is 52 kilos. My parents occasionally make me step on the scale to see if after recovery I lost weight, so every couple months I have to binge to gain enough weight to satisfy them and then i restrict again. Currently I'm at about 44-45 kilos.
Anyway, recently I've been having really confusing thoughts. I've been really wanting to start eating normally but whenever I do I start to regret thinking that and the voice at the back of my head forces me to keep restricting. I just don't know what to do anymore. I want to recover and be happy, and now that it's starting to get colder It's getting harder and harder to function because I'm always cold and I have no energy. But almost at the same time I think that I'll regret gaining weight and I should keep restricting. On top of all that I just binged and while I've never purged before, I feel like I'm going to vomit and my occasional binges make me afraid that once I start to try to recover I won't be able to control my hunger and I'll end up being overweight like I used to be before my ed. My parents make me eat these really fatty/ unhealthy meals which fuels my restriction because I end up avoiding food as much as I can so I can eat the food they prepare to appear as if I'm healthy. I just don't know what to do and it's making me so miserable. My fear of becoming overweight again is stopping me from commuting to eating healthy. Please share your advice because I'm really confused.
[Help] Heart palpitations after a binge?
/u/FastPhoria [5'10 | 126 | 18.1 / 17.6 | GW: 119 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 11 06:56:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zf7bq/heart_palpitations_after_a_binge/
---
[removed]
[Other] Life hack: Consume less than 100 calories per day and you won't have to waste time painting your nails! Malnutrition will give them that sexy purple look.
/u/CoolCatLovesAllKids [164cm | 15 | lmfao | Female]
Created: Mon Sep 11 06:44:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zf57y/life_hack_consume_less_than_100_calories_per_day/
---
https://i.redd.it/t2iwgut929lz.jpg
[Goal] When I'm skinny...
/u/littledutchbird [24F|5'8"|150 lbs|BMI 22.5|-35 lbs]
Created: Mon Sep 11 06:15:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zezwc/when_im_skinny/
---
I'm gonna get a side shave in my hair. I think it looks amazing on super thing girls,but I'm afraid if I do it now, I'll end up looking too masculine.
Weekly Stats Update! September 11, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Sep 11 06:14:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zezq1/weekly_stats_update_september_11_2017/
---
This is the weekly status thread for September 11, 2017.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
Daily Food Diary! September 11, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Sep 11 06:14:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zezp9/daily_food_diary_september_11_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 11, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] Calories / hair loss
/u/RosenWeiss9 [5'3.5" | 111 | 19.8 | -16.5 | 25F]
Created: Mon Sep 11 06:09:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zeyxj/calories_hair_loss/
---
I have a question, from anyone's experience, will you experience hair loss or other similar side effects if you are underweight regardless of how many calories you eat? So far I've lost 17 lbs doing 1200 cal and I calculated that my TDEE even at <100 lbs is over 1200 especially if I exercise so... Theoretically I should be able to get underweight on 1200 with patience. So I'm just wondering, has anyone else gone this slow/steady route and have you lost hair etc? This is NOT diet advice I already have my plan. I'm just asking about health and hair loss.
Thank you :)
Edit: I said TDEE under 1200 when I meant over 1200.
[Discussion] Things that people think will help my ED but definitely don't
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 56.5kg | BMI 18.6 |- 16kg | GW 52kg | 24F]
Created: Mon Sep 11 06:07:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zeyhl/things_that_people_think_will_help_my_ed_but/
---
1) Telling me that another girl is "too thin" and that's why you fancy me, not her. That makes me think you go for chubby girls and now I need to be thinner because I dont want to be your preference.
2) Telling me that you're going to invite me over and cook for me. It is a sure fire way for me never to come over. Ever.
3) Commenting on how good it is that I'm eating.
4) Commenting on what I'm eating.
5) Commenting on the fact that I'm eating.
6) Telling me you like girls with a bit of meat on their bones. Way to trigger a 3 day fast, dickhead.
7) Pointing out that fat is feminine. Because that's going to be my goal, right?!?!
8) Fatlogic about BMI "not actually being a good way to measure".
9) Fatlogic about "starvation mode".
All these things have happened to me recently. Any you guys can add?
[Help] Any tricks for getting rid of water retention?
/u/hunterxgreen [5'4'' | CW: 162 | GW: bones | F]
Created: Mon Sep 11 05:39:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zethx/any_tricks_for_getting_rid_of_water_retention/
---
Whenever I exercise and restrict for some reasons sometimes it helps me lose water weight but sometimes my face gets so puffy. Just my face. I try lowering my salt intake but is there anything else? And ideally something natural. Thank you.
[Rant/Rave] lol so I told my parents via email
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 19bmi | -140 | 30F | AU]
Created: Mon Sep 11 05:21:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zeqtz/lol_so_i_told_my_parents_via_email/
---
to preface this
*1) im bipolar, have bpd and anxiety and a like... 18 or so year history of self harm
*2) I moved to Australia at the end of 2014 and have not seen them since
*3) my dad is a psychologist lol and my mom is a therapist (in denial of my issues)
anyway we never Skype, I never see them. I sent them a picture of the number on the scale. I explained I had EDNOS/OSFED ana subtype with an 18 bmi and how I think it lead to my relapse blah blah, then saying you know, I don't know if they care but yeah
why?
no idea
do I care?
no
do I want attention?
*maybe* but I'm 30 years old, they don't talk to me.
maybe I just wanted to tell someone who knows me and I have no friends
honestly I don't care what they say I'm just sitting here like a gremlin, like, will they even respond, whats the deal (I have a weird relationship with my parents)
anyway
yep
LOL
like I honestly... I don't care, I'm not worried about myself nor do I want help ... so wtf
[Rant/Rave] I feel like I got a 2 for 1 deal with my ed lol
/u/piggypigpigs
Created: Mon Sep 11 04:44:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zeljb/i_feel_like_i_got_a_2_for_1_deal_with_my_ed_lol/
---
I've confided in a few people. The response is always just set a healthy meal plan and stick to it.
As if I'm suddenly going to wake up one morning and be capable of that. I feel like I'm battling two separate things sometimes. There's the demon in me that traps me in a binge cycle and I'll gain weight. And then there's a second demon that makes me restrict and purge and I'll lose. Naturally I'm thrilled I'm back to losing but I'm truly exhausted because I feel like I'm battling two entire things here. If I ever manage to recover from my horrible binge cycles, that'd be great because they make me fat, but there's still the flip side of things where I starve myself and take lax. It's like they're tag teaming me for some sort of cruel joke. I've missed nearly every shift I was supposed to be at work this month because I had taken lax daily and felt too fat to show myself, but my hours have been cut, which is kind of a blessing when I remember all the free food available. I feel out of control. I feel obese and worthless and ugly. I can't even hold a normal job and a normal diet like everyone else at work because I'm too occupied with this bs. Sorry for rambling. I just feel exhausted and worthless today :|
[Discussion] September 11th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 11 04:36:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zekgi/september_11th_2017_question_of_the_day/
---
What advice would you give to a second grader?
[Help] Triggered by my bf
/u/bagelzboi [5'3 | CW:90bs | 21F]
Created: Mon Sep 11 03:25:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zeb70/triggered_by_my_bf/
---
Lately I've been trying to eat closer to my maintenance calories (<1000) cause my hairs been falling out and to stop my doctor from getting on at me. But last night my bf brought me m&ms that I'd left at his apartment (so I couldn't eat them) so naturally I ate them? and still managed to stay under my 1000 calorie limit for the day!! but then my boyfriend insulted me for my "lack of self control" because I ate them? after he brought me them? even though he also ate some and also another bag of sweets he brought for himself? so anyway now I'm doing a week fast cause i hate myself
I kinda wana restrict till I die? ._.
/u/Lidostis4
Created: Mon Sep 11 03:09:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ze94w/i_kinda_wana_restrict_till_i_die/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I hate when people tell me not to restrict because I'll "gain it all back"
/u/hiitm
Created: Mon Sep 11 02:58:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ze7kn/i_hate_when_people_tell_me_not_to_restrict/
---
This has been one of the biggest blockers to me actually getting to my GW- the fear that if I restrict, I'll end up 10x my size. No, that's not logical. If I restrict and then maintain, I will be at my GW. Period.
[Other] Glad All Over
/u/RichardStarrkey [6'0 | CW:61kg | GW:55kg | M]
Created: Mon Sep 11 02:41:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ze5hz/glad_all_over/
---
ED.
Gotten into my art. I'm a writer and a musician.
This sounds like a joke I know.
You can make your guitar sound thin.
Beatles? George Harrison? He's got a tone that's described as thin. While My Guitar Gently Weeps? The heavy stuff was Clapton.
Harrison's lead portions of any other song, really thin. First album all the way through Abbey Road and Let It Be.
Now when I play guitar, I make it so that it sounds thin. Musically, it's a mistake no doubt. We know different.
Writing. All my characters are written in the way that they *eat the littlest* and *drink the most*.
They struggle day to day where ordinary people strive. It hurts for them the way it does for you and me. They restrict, they fast.
And when the weather is right they binge.
Beer? No.
Hard liquor? Oh yeah.
Makes it all interesting. Now *John* has an audience rooting for him. We relate to him.
I don't know why I'm sharing this. Just thought I would, that the folks here know they aren't alone in any of this.
Keep drawing, keep singing, keep writing about the way you feel.
You're here for me, as I am for you.
[Discussion] Angry about people eating food?
/u/CandidTriceratops [ 5'5'' | 208.8 | 34.8 | -17lbs | M]
Created: Mon Sep 11 00:27:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zdp1w/angry_about_people_eating_food/
---
Does anybody else experience this?
To explain: I live in an apartment with my boyfriend and his mom. I make the least amount of money per month (700) my boyfriend makes the second most (variable) and his mom makes the most (usually above 1200, sometimes like 2000). We all pay the same rent (330). So this leaves me with a very low amount to live off of in the month.
Now food. My boyfriend and his mom generally share food besides snacks. They buy food together. They both know about my ED so I buy my own low cal food with my very limited money. It's mine and for some reason I get very possesive over it, for many reasons which is justified. I make the least amount and I buy special food that I feel comfortable eating. This month (which started 10 days ago) they both went through their first cheque in about 5 days on junk items and fast food. Never went to the grocery store. Boyfriend borrowed $40 from me for more stuff, no groceries. Now they are both left with no money and no food and have resorted to eating my food. Fruit, vegetables, bread, cheese, snacks, SODA. I'm so upset now because the only stuff I have left is some bread and random stuff that can't be put together and limited amounts of everything else. My soda is gone even though I just bought it.
I have no money left so fasting I guess? I feel wrong to be mad about this because my mom always yelled at me that it was "just food" when I got upset. My boyfriend and his mom also get angry at me if I try to stand up for myself because they seem to think that we share everything here. 😞
[Rant/Rave] I don't think I truly understood what it meant to be "triggered" until
/u/throwgdjjbdyjj
Created: Sun Sep 10 23:35:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zdhqt/i_dont_think_i_truly_understood_what_it_meant_to/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Have you left someone for their own sake?
/u/CowOffTheFarm [65" | 157 | 26.4 | - | F | GW 120]
Created: Sun Sep 10 23:02:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zdcsr/have_you_left_someone_for_their_own_sake/
---
[removed]
[Help] Tips to keep you motivated?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 10 23:01:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zdcpb/tips_to_keep_you_motivated/
---
[removed]
[Help] Struggling to find clothes that fit.
/u/Strawberie
Created: Sun Sep 10 21:51:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zd1ki/struggling_to_find_clothes_that_fit/
---
I've lost a bit of weight this summer and I can no longer fit into most of my clothes at home.
I tried to buy jeans at american eagle and abercombie that were 00 but they dont quite wrap around my waist right, they keep sliding down. I could make do with a belt but it doesnt look as good when you have those jean flaps that the belt makes.
My friend recommended to go to brandy meville because they apparently had "tiny asf" clothing but even then everything was one-sized and id like it tighter on me if possible
I honestly dont know where to find cute and decently priced clothing anymore.. Where are you go-tos? Any stores catered to extra slim girls?
I really dont want to resort to shopping in children sections!
[Thinspo] Any good male aesthetic?
/u/gradsquests
Created: Sun Sep 10 21:45:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zd0l6/any_good_male_aesthetic/
---
Any albums, good tags to look up or blogs? I have the hardest time most of it seems to either be fit or girls :p
People who buy fruit at 7/11
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 10 21:21:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zcwhc/people_who_buy_fruit_at_711/
---
[removed]
[Help] Best tips for preventing a binge?
/u/dancingblobfish
Created: Sun Sep 10 21:12:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zcv1f/best_tips_for_preventing_a_binge/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Family Vacation Success?
/u/Shh_its_not_me_yo [5'7 | CW: 128 | SW: 170 | GW: Less | Gender: F]
Created: Sun Sep 10 20:58:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zcsh3/family_vacation_success/
---
I don't know if this is a rant or rave. On vacation with my family, Who all worry about me losing too much weight, and have told me to eat a burger, ugh. I've been eating less, because of alcohol calories (and I'll just ignore almost passing out after being in the hot tub...).
Anyway, my dad is making hot air popcorn, and I want to splurge because I've not eaten for two days. I say I want a large bowl, and he questions my decision. So I say a small bowl. He makes it, and my husband, WHO DOES NOT EVEN FUCKING LIKE POPCORN asks for a bite. Then he proceeds to eat three handfuls, just shoving it in his mouth (bc as many times as I tell him I hate sharing food, he just doesn't care).
So I just say fuck it, And tell him I don't even want it anymore. So, I'm still hungry, but saved the calories!
Mostly I'm just amazed at how fucking clueless people are.
[Rant/Rave] What the hell
/u/rosegrxcelt
Created: Sun Sep 10 20:50:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zcr1l/what_the_hell/
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So I've been anorexic for 4 years, recovering on and off and right now? I feel like a total hot mess because I can't figure out what I want! I don't want to keep purging but I can't control my desires to. I want to be able to study college abroad but I know my das won't let me if he sees me sick but I can't find any desire or strength to ACTUALLY recover this time. I fee my life is fckd up and to top it all, I'm quitting high school to be homeschooled because my ass is soooo sensible and anxious all the time
Idk if this is more of a rant or a cry for help? But yeah, tomorrow's morning I really want it to be good but my mind is really tempting me to purge in the morning so we'll see? Ugh
[Rant/Rave] When you bring someone home and they comment on your scale
/u/igby23
Created: Sun Sep 10 20:49:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zcqx6/when_you_bring_someone_home_and_they_comment_on/
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I had a guy come over last night and when he came into my bedroom he jokingly said "I like how you have everything arranged in here, like this scale in the middle of your floor in front of the full length mirror, very healthy" 🤣🤣🤣 I was like oh yup definitely!! I didn't even notice I'd done that. ED brain arranging furniture.
[Rant/Rave] I got so lucky
/u/coconutfi [5'9" | CW: 122 | GW: 116 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 10 20:47:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zcqj1/i_got_so_lucky/
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I restricted very hard and did light exercise for four days, but on the 5th day I gave in and binged on alcohol and food. I was alone and my stomach was in so much pain so I tried to throw up (which usually doesn't work for me) but oh my god did it work this time.. I threw up in a bag and it was so heavy (gross sorry). So much came out that I was actually hungry again. I just had a sandwich and a few different concoctions of toast which I would call a light binge compared to the first one.
I felt like shit still and planned to binge today too, but I woke up smaller?? For the first time in weeks since I had binging prior to restricting. It made me realize it wasn't worth letting go and I didn't really lose much progress so now I'm going to the gym and get back on track.
I'm just sharing because I'm really happy I didn't totally blow it even though I'm so confused because I had a SHIT ton of calories yesterday.
[Thinspo] Can we just talk about eatglitter for a second? Fuck.
/u/tinywolfxo [5'4"|CW 126.4|HW 162|GW 103|BMI 21.7|-35.6 lb|F]
Created: Sun Sep 10 20:46:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zcqg1/can_we_just_talk_about_eatglitter_for_a_second/
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https://i.redd.it/1rvksvnm36lz.jpg
What do I do if have binge eating disorder?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 10 20:36:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zcono/what_do_i_do_if_have_binge_eating_disorder/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Bf troubles...but at least I'm finally restricting right!
/u/Rickticia
Created: Sun Sep 10 19:55:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zcgze/bf_troublesbut_at_least_im_finally_restricting/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Alcohol-related NSV!
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1.5" | cw 155 | gw 145 | -15]
Created: Sun Sep 10 19:22:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zcaop/alcoholrelated_nsv/
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Honestly one of my biggest motivators when I decided to start restricting again was that I had to drink a lot of calories to get a buzz anymore. I was regularly drinking a full bottle of wine or champagne to myself, which was keeping me fat and keeping my tolerance high so I *had* to keep drinking that amount. I decided to quit drinking to help with weight loss and with my shitty tolerance. I'm 15 lbs down from when I started ~5 weeks ago, and I've only drank once in the mean time. Y'all, I'm halfway through a glass of wine and I'm buzzed. I can almost hear the angels singing.
So yeah it might seem unrelated but this is a HUGE non scale victory for me. Catching a buzz without having to make it a binge day. I could shed a tear of pure joy. Thanks for reading I have so much love for this sub <3
[Rant/Rave] O no
/u/teasnob22 [5'3" | CW: 95.7 | GW: 88 | 17.43 | -22 | F | Vegan AF]
Created: Sun Sep 10 17:34:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zbqep/o_no/
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I'm not really sure where this post is going to go but I just have a lot of feelings right now.
It's getting warm here again and they're backburning and the smells and the heat are always so nostalgic. It's reminding me of 2015 when this started getting really bad and it's reminding me that i'm all but back where i started and it's reminding me of sadness and stickiness and finally being hopeful that maybe things will change but I know that they didn't. It's all recorded though, and I was looking through the photos and I can feel myself in the sand and on the couch and the feel of the plasticy wooden floor and I can smell Pa's house and I can taste her apple cider mouth and I hate it and i hate that i'll never look like her.
I am huge and the past 2 years have been a waste of time and there's nothing I can do about it now apart from wait and hope that I change.
[Help] I need some help!!
/u/ThisIsGumpy
Created: Sun Sep 10 17:23:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zbodm/i_need_some_help/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE shoplift when your restricting?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 10 16:33:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zbee6/dae_shoplift_when_your_restricting/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] My happiness/quality of life solely depends on whether I succeed in restricting or not
/u/ignorado [🍑: ignorado]
Created: Sun Sep 10 16:05:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zb8iu/my_happinessquality_of_life_solely_depends_on/
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It's like a high. Whenever I'm successfully eating 300 calories a day or fasting, I'm all over the freaking place. I'll hang out with my friends, study, go shopping, wear nice makeup, wear cute clothes, go on dates, etc...
When I find myself bingeing or eating more calories than my goal was, I'm the most depressed motherfucker you will ever encounter. I won't shower, leave my apartment unless it's for a mandatory class, I'll cancel every single plan I have with friends. Once I even purposely "missed" a flight for a vacation I had planned two months in advance because I overate by five hundred calories three days in a row. It was my last chance for the summer to get to see my best friend (honestly my soulmate, not even kidding - would marry her if we weren't both straight as fuck). It's THAT bad. I'll just watch TV the entire day and cry over how I fucked up, while continuing to binge because "fuck it, my ed wins again woohoo!!" Yo I even quit my job because I couldn't stop overeating and I thought I looked stumpy in my work uniform. Yesterday I binged and the next thing you know, I'm calling suicide hotlines and all my best friends crying my eyes out, while looking at websites on how to kill yourself, and playing with a belt wrapped around my neck. My lovely peach loves unfortunately witnessed this yesterday through updates.
If suicide was easy, I would have been wiped out YEARS ago.
Today I haven't eaten anything and I'm so energized/motivated that I'm doing homework from my syllabi for THREE weeks from now. What even.
[Rant/Rave] Uuugggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Sun Sep 10 15:30:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zb1bu/uuugggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I want to eat an entire cake and I feel so guilty for it
/u/starvingarthoe
Created: Sun Sep 10 15:04:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zavrt/i_want_to_eat_an_entire_cake_and_i_feel_so_guilty/
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[removed]
[Help] How to avoid binging?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 10 14:42:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zaqyu/how_to_avoid_binging/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Dysmorphia and why culture makes me hate myself more.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Sep 10 14:35:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zapet/dysmorphia_and_why_culture_makes_me_hate_myself/
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On mobile flair as rant rave. Thanks.
I identify as queer and nonbinary and a huge struggle for me is feeling like a belong because so many "normal" labels don't really describe me and I don't fit into a common mold. I have a strong desire to be agender and androgynous but I feel like where I am and with my weight and how I look I feel less valid then other nonbinary or genderqueer person's.
I feel like I don't pass as androgynous because I am fat. Maybe according to the American average I am not but in the smaller fringe Communities I am fat significantly so. I'm too big to wear the clothes I want or to project the appearance i feel fits me best instead I just feel like a circus freak. I'm too masculine looking with feminine features at best but I just want to be androgynous and to look like neither.
There is a disconnect with how I feel and how I look and my weight and composition contributes negatively to it causing a lot of emotional distress. Also I can't really open up to anyone because no one takes gemderqueerness or being nonbonary people seriously at least people I know I'm still closeted for the most part and I hate it. I can't be my self. I am a living miserable lie.
Willow.
[Discussion] DAE feel relieved if they puke unintentionally?
/u/itszwee [5'3"| CW 156.4 lbs | -20 lbs | UGW 115 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Sep 10 14:01:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zahps/dae_feel_relieved_if_they_puke_unintentionally/
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Disclaimer: I don't vomit to purge. I've been abusing lax on and off, fasting, restricting, and drinking too much water/tea.
Anyway, I was partying with some friends a couple weeks ago and I drank WAY too much on a practically empty stomach (didn't eat all day to be able to justify having dinner [read: fried stuff] with said friends), so naturally I puked. A lot. Until I was basically suffocating and coughing up water into a bucket.
The thing is, while this was happening, all I could really feel was relief. Relief that the fried food I had earlier today was out of my body, relief that all the calories in alcohol were only partially absorbed. Relief that I didn't have to feel like there was a poison in my body anymore.
I absolutely hate vomiting, but... well, here we are. Anybody else relate?
[Rant/Rave] Beginnings of a baby thigh gap!
/u/BodilySolids
Created: Sun Sep 10 13:44:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6zadu4/beginnings_of_a_baby_thigh_gap/
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https://i.redd.it/fhpkmge604lz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Stupid triggers
/u/fasting-glitter
Created: Sun Sep 10 13:07:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6za5ry/stupid_triggers/
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I swear the lamest things set me off.
I posted a picture that showed a small part of my body from my other Reddit account. Some guy made a snarky/insulting comment.
Tons of upvotes on his comment made me feel stupid and embarrassed and insecure. Deleted the post and now can't even look the egg whites I just made.
I'm fucking pathetic.
[Rant/Rave] I just learned IVs can have calories
/u/Dr0pDex [172cm | 45.3kg | 15.04]
Created: Sun Sep 10 12:53:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6za2vk/i_just_learned_ivs_can_have_calories/
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**Motherfucker**, that's why I gained two pounds that one time I was in the hospital all day for tests! Bastards probably gave me dextrose instead of water on top of having a feeding tube in. They were two *real* pounds too that never fell off.
God I'm sick lol
[Help] Is there any chance i will recover from ED and body image issues when i get to my GW? Will the difference in how people treat me help get over my ED?
/u/letstryforkarma
Created: Sun Sep 10 12:45:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6za117/is_there_any_chance_i_will_recover_from_ed_and/
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I know deep down i have an ED but I'm actively trying my best to recover. However, i still have a lot of weight to lose.
I've ALWAYS had weight to lose my entire life, which makes me feel like the self hatred feeling is indefinite.
I want to recover, but i also want to achieve the physical stats I aspire to (male, 180 lbs, roughly 15%-10% body fat). I know that even if i get there I will still hate certain aspects of my appearance. That's most likely a garuntee.
But what I'm really hoping for is that getting to those physical goals will still be a huge help to my mental health. Im sure there will be other things to obsess about. But getting that achievement under my belt should, in theory, change my life for the better.
I need to believe that life will be better at that weight and BF%. Reason being that i usually binge when i feel that there is "no hope. So why keep trying? Just binge and be happy now".
My biggest fear is that I'll hate myself regardless, or that the change in my appearance won't make my life any easier (in terms of how I'm treat by others in friendships, employment, dating).
I'm a big believer in the halo effect. So since i nosedived into a 2.5 year long binge and gave up all hope and gained a ton of weight, i have effectively given up on the belief that i can succeed in life. Again, in
1) having respectful relationships with friends and family,
2) gaining respectful employment i am valued in, and
3) developing romantic relationships with people i can see a future with, who treat me with respect
I see i used the word respect a lot. I guess i feel that being obese my whole life (with some violent fluctuation in weight at some points) have made me jaded in life and believe that success is extremely more difficult and rare if others dislike the way you look. Especially weight because it is not yet regarded as a mental health issue but rather a "stop being lazy and eat a carrot" issue. Even at that, mental health issues are not respected as medical disorders by the general public yet either.
So basically being obese-overweight-obese again my whole life has made me feel like an outcast or undesirable.
I need to believe it'll get better once I'm down. Otherwise i may fall back on binging again. And I'm a pure binge eater. So when i binge, I've fucked my weight loss progress up by 3+ weeks per sitting. All eating disorders are horrible.
**tldr:** rant. I need to believe life will be better after weight loss and recovery. I can't have my life revolve around this forever. I need to be able to move on to doing other stuff. I'm semi stuck in a bubble now by isolating myself while I'm still obese. I wanna get over this god dammit. It has to happen. And I'm working on it right now.
[Rant/Rave] Yet another rant about my housemate, aka I am ~TRIGGERED AS AF~
/u/like_a_living_thing [5'4" | 115 | F | 👽]
Created: Sun Sep 10 11:47:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z9ocb/yet_another_rant_about_my_housemate_aka_i_am/
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Today I was talking to my housemate about something entirely unrelated to food, and then out of the blue she sends me a message that says "hey I just realized I have eaten 0 food today." Like, okay. First of all, it's like 1, it's not that big of a deal, you'll live, you have plenty of fat stores to draw on. Second of all, I hate, h a t e, HATE when people talk about how they haven't eaten all day as if it's some sort of fucking contest like are you TRYING to trigger me, if that your FUCKING GOAL???
She doesn't know I have an ed but I'm paranoid that she does, I've been losing weight pretty noticeably(I was already on the low end of healthy) and I have a sneaking suspicion she took a look at my food log, in which it becomes clear that I often do not eat until like 400 calories at 7pm.
But like, that brings me to, if she does know I have an ed, what is her goal with saying shit like that to me? Is she trying to be malicious? Is she trying to be supportive in a misguided way? Should I tell her I have an ed?(fuck no) ... But if she doesn't know, what is her goal in sending this message? Is she trying to make me worry about her? I love my friends but I do not play the fish for pity game. If you have a problem, fucking talk to me. She also does this thing where she is a compulsive liar and mimics my personality, so is she like noticing that I get attention for clearly having issues with my mental health(I also have bipolar disorder, insomnia, asperger's, u know, the works) and wants that attention? I DON'T KNOW. HAVE THE FUCKING ATTENTION I DON'T WANT IT. But DO NOT try to solicit pity from me for something DEVASTATING that I am CONSTANTLY struggling with that you DO NOT HAVE.
It is exhausting. ):
[Thinspo] found this on tumblr, the top model diet
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 10 11:28:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z9k4q/found_this_on_tumblr_the_top_model_diet/
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https://i.redd.it/lp14v0zub3lz.jpg
[Thinspo] The music video Malibu by Miley Cyrus is thinspo for me
/u/AngelicZero [5'5.5"| 232 | -39 lbs | 115 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 10 11:26:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z9jta/the_music_video_malibu_by_miley_cyrus_is_thinspo/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8j9zMok6two
[Rant/Rave] Ugly. [not directly ed related. mushy garbage]
/u/tarantulahospital [5'7 | -25lb | F]
Created: Sun Sep 10 11:23:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z9j47/ugly_not_directly_ed_related_mushy_garbage/
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I've been rejected so many times or treated like I'm ugly.
One of the only people to like my appearance was more obsessed with my body. It was mostly sexual. And it hurt.
I still don't forget when he told me I have a "fat ass". I guess it was meant to be a compliment.
I don't want to jinx it or ruin it because any time I mention having feelings about someone publicly, it always gets ruined...
But there's this someone. He doesn't seem to care that I'm fat. He gives his all to people.
One half-asleep, 5 hour long phone call later, I ended up telling him I have feelings for him. It went better than expected.
All I ask is that it works out, and that he doesn't cheat on me. A few girls likely want to be with him. But he picked me. An out of shape, fat, and not really that good looking person. It could all be a lie. To make me feel better. That's how the last attempt went... either way I'm prepared for rejection. It doesn't hurt as much anymore. 🤷♀️
I'll still care about him though. He's too good.
[Thinspo] Malibu music video by Miley Cyrus is thinspo for me...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 10 11:20:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z9ik5/malibu_music_video_by_miley_cyrus_is_thinspo_for/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8j9zMok6two
Freaked out whilst trying to find something for dinner and ended up with this... only 365 calories for the whole tin
/u/Dietfuckingcoke [5'4'' | CW 117 lbs | BMI 20 | GW 112 lbs | 54 lbs lost | F]
Created: Sun Sep 10 11:13:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z9h0z/freaked_out_whilst_trying_to_find_something_for/
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https://i.redd.it/l5h3rb3c93lz.jpg
[Discussion] How many times do you weigh yourself a day?
/u/tinywolfxo [5'4"|CW 126.4|HW 162|GW 103|BMI 21.7|-35.6 lb|F]
Created: Sun Sep 10 11:12:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z9gnh/how_many_times_do_you_weigh_yourself_a_day/
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So I usually weigh myself in the morning after I go to the bathroom, then I drink coffee and two huge glasses of water and wait to go to the bathroom again. TMI but I always have bms in the morning, often multiple (bless the vegan gods for keeping me regular lol) and I'll just weigh myself after every time until I feel like my system is completely empty so I can get my true weight. This can take up to four hours after waking up. Then I'll finally eat. Does anyone else do this?
*Bonus bragging* I finally hit 125 today, twenty pounds from my goal weight! It's so close yet so far!
[Rant/Rave] Literally can't have a single thought beyond getting thin.
/u/fuckmethissucksss
Created: Sun Sep 10 11:02:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z9emq/literally_cant_have_a_single_thought_beyond/
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I wake up, I weigh myself.
I pee, I weigh myself.
I stop in the middle of homework to pee, then weigh myself.
I was in the middle of eating an apple when I got up to try on random dresses, then weigh myself.
Stop homework again to look at skinny girls on Instagram.
Check how my thighs look on my iPhone camera.
Stare at reflection then bend my head at weird angles to look at myself straight on, to see if the mirror is lying.
Weigh myself.
And so on, and so on.
[Rant/Rave] Partied last night and I didn't fuck up my diet for once ❤️❤️
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Sun Sep 10 10:48:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z9bjh/partied_last_night_and_i_didnt_fuck_up_my_diet/
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I did break it, a little--I ate 1/4 bag of goldfish, but this was by choice that I do not regret because I was feeling like shit and needed to eat something. And I feel ok going back on it today. Everyone made breakfast and I'm just going to slowly eat a grape and my yogurt that I packed, if I can stomach it. Things are finally turning around for me and I'm so happy about it
[Discussion] September 10th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 10 10:28:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z970d/september_10th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What is utterly confounding to you?
Mine is that most of the population doesn't really care or think about what they're eating, and some of them are at a healthy weight. How can they go through their day not knowing if they're taking in more than they're burning? Crazy.
[Discussion] What do you guys think of eating exclusively fruit?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 10 09:15:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z8re7/what_do_you_guys_think_of_eating_exclusively_fruit/
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[deleted]
[Thinspo] Legspo.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Sun Sep 10 09:06:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z8pjn/legspo/
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https://i.redd.it/c4f3iwrnm2lz.jpg
[Discussion] What weighing scales are more reliable?
/u/shy-----guy [5ft 6" | SW 182lbs | CW 140lbs | UGW 115lbs | Male | 26 yo]
Created: Sun Sep 10 09:01:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z8ogw/what_weighing_scales_are_more_reliable/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Trying to fast today after a binge yesterday
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 96ish |17.6ish| 20F]
Created: Sun Sep 10 08:48:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z8ly4/trying_to_fast_today_after_a_binge_yesterday/
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Up until last night at dinner, I haven't had a binge day since I relapsed. Yesterday though was my 2 year anniversary with my boyfriend, so of course he wanted to get me my favorite food- Indian food.
I just couldn't stop myself from at least having a little bit of everything. I think the dinner was somewhere between 800 and 1000 calories. That's more than I've been having in a whole day let alone one meal.
I was really upset after I ate, and my boyfriend felt bad about it because he knows I'm having a hard time right now. I ended up making myself feel better by reminding myself that I can fast today.
Hopefully today's fasting can make up for yesterday's caloric intake.
[Tip] Found this in a magazine! Not seen it for sale myself but totally gonna look out for it and thought id post it here to help xx
/u/lwruk
Created: Sun Sep 10 08:45:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z8lhk/found_this_in_a_magazine_not_seen_it_for_sale/
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https://i.redd.it/yegy6mjwi2lz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] T M I
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 102.9 | 18.8 | -34 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 10 08:45:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z8ldm/t_m_i/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Does anyone else not want to be significantly underweight?
/u/emotionalthr0w [5'9 22F. SW:182 CW:146.4 BMI:21.23]
Created: Sun Sep 10 08:12:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z8fed/does_anyone_else_not_want_to_be_significantly/
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Ideally I'd be at a BMI of 18ish; I think that's where I'd look the most conventionally attractive. I've dipped below before as a teenager and in retrospect I think I somehow looked more unattractive- my body looked prepubescent and my cheeks were sunken in and my face was just weirdly angular.
I hate to contribute to the stereotype that EDs are about wanting to be hot but tbh a large portion of mine is wanting to be seen as attractive or at least not as ugly and fat and lacking control.
[Tip] UK meat sub calorie spreadsheet
/u/itscirclejerky [5'5 | CW: repulsive| 22.29 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 10 07:59:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z8d36/uk_meat_sub_calorie_spreadsheet/
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I'm making a spreadsheet of all UK meat substitute calories like Linda McCartney and Quorn and opening it up for editing by you guys.
I currently have it colour organised and organised into food types e.g burgers and sausages.
[link](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/13S--MQrEwEWbMmNja_4HlxGaVWPXB1EdQGGTJb7ewo0/edit#gid=1696961638)
[Tip] UK meat sub calories spreadsheet
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 10 07:43:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z8ahs/uk_meat_sub_calories_spreadsheet/
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https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/13S--MQrEwEWbMmNja_4HlxGaVWPXB1EdQGGTJb7ewo0/edit#gid=1696961638
[Rant/Rave] I'm so weak
/u/daisyhands
Created: Sun Sep 10 06:53:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z82ne/im_so_weak/
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I went cycling today, something I used to love to do!! Now that I've lost weight and muscle, I struggled pedalling. Not just uphill but in general! I tried to cycle up the curb on the pavement and I FELL!! Like completely fell off my bike. My head hit the floor, my hands and knees are scuffed and bloody- ALL BECAUSE I WAS TOO WEAK TO PEDAL FAST ENOUGH TO GET UP IT! Ahhh what a life to live. Anyways I walked home with my bike (I wasn't that far away because I was on my way back anyways) and I got in and cleaned my hands and knees and my head is pretty bruised so I just rested (no, I don't have a helmet. I'm an idiot but believe me, I will invest in one after this incident). After sorting myself out, I went on my cycling app that tracks the calories burned on your journey and I wasn't out for long but I burned 96 calories which is alright and literally I forgot about the whole thing and said to myself "okay this is good I burned 96 calories so my hurting myself was worth it". Why am I like this lmao!! Anyways I ate something that was 90 calories because I felt lightheaded (as you would after living on 500 calories a day and hitting your head off the concrete) so it was all pretty pointless. Sorry for this, just wanted to get it off my chest
Daily Food Diary! September 10, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Sep 10 06:11:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z7wtt/daily_food_diary_september_10_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 10, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
Sunday: Share your latest grocery+food hauls!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Sep 10 06:10:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z7wt0/sunday_share_your_latest_groceryfood_hauls/
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Feel welcome to post pics of your latest and greatest hauls~! Consider adding commentary on:
* what country you're in
* what store, site, market or Co-op you shopped at
* how much you spent or any sweet deals you found
[Discussion] What are your tricks for keeping up energy levels?
/u/hiitm
Created: Sun Sep 10 04:44:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z7m4o/what_are_your_tricks_for_keeping_up_energy_levels/
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Sometimes I'm fine, but sometimes I am floored and can't get out of bed. I haven't eaten this weekend but I also haven't left the house because I feel so lazy. What do you guys normally do?
[Thinspo] My fav girl [thinspo]
/u/darksoulsfan69
Created: Sun Sep 10 03:12:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z7c38/my_fav_girl_thinspo/
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https://www.instagram.com/alexandracamenita/
[Help] I need advice about atypical anorexia.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 10 02:51:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z79u2/i_need_advice_about_atypical_anorexia/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] EVERY FREAKING TIME
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 10 01:40:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z723w/every_freaking_time/
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[deleted]
[Other] just need to word vomit for once, and not like, food vomit
/u/LivelyGhost [5'6" | CW: 141 | GW: 111 | -23 lbs]
Created: Sun Sep 10 01:39:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z722a/just_need_to_word_vomit_for_once_and_not_like/
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I leave for university in 10 days and I'm super excited. It's in a big city, it's gonna be fall (CARDIGANS!! LEGGINGS!! SWEATERS!!!), the campus is beautiful, I get to go by my preferred name, nobody knows me, and it's all one huge, fresh start. I'm lowkey relieved that I'm thinner than my future roommate. I know it's kind of ugly to think of her like that, but it would have given me so much constant, boiling anxiety if she had been thinner than me. She's bigger on partying and going out to get food than I am so I've got this internal bet going on about who's gonna gain weight in the first quarter (I'm pretty sure it's gonna be her, I bet myself $5). But she also seems pretty nice too but I'll leave the real judgement down to when we live together and meet in person.
I've also FINALLY broken the 140s and I'm Officially 139 pounds. Granted it's probably like 139.90 pounds but 139 nonetheless. I've been accidentally maintaining by Almost-Binging but not quite so this is great for me!
This is so dumb too, but with all the packing for dorms, I have these two boxes of food I'm bringing and it makes me so satisfied to see it all packed in. Some of it is snacks, PB2, progresso soup, various ramen cups, instant rice, actual rice, protein bars, and a box of vitamin water/Powerade. Hell yeah, this my food stash. I feel like a squirrel with a nut stash for winter or something. It's just pleasing to my dumb brain, like "look at all this fucking food, my dude!!"
I'm not gonna try to predict the future or anything what with my Unpredictable Emotional Tendencies and all, but I hope I can restrict better at university. I saw someone say that "College is where EDs flourish" and one half of me is like wow I wish that were me and the other half is like, holy shit just diet normally you gigantic dumbass this doesn't hold anything good for you. And then I'm just, well, losing weight is good right : )? And the cycle continues.
[Rant/Rave] Shitty pro-tip: work as a cook
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Sep 10 00:44:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z6vye/shitty_protip_work_as_a_cook/
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On mobile flair as rant or rave or humor.
I work in a kitchen and can eat a lot of food for free or at least free shift meals and I can't bring myself most of the time because.
All the servers are skinny vegans who don't eat much.
All the other cooks eat too much and I don't want to look like I'm out of control or have impulse control.
I need to know how many calories are in my food so I don't eat anything I didn't personally measure and cook.
I don't have time to cook my own food or eat on breaks.
The gluttony of our customers makes me want to swear off food every day because I don't want to be a fat vegan.
A lot of our customers are either fat or super skinny and I don't want to be a fat vegan so I guess redundant.
In conclusion working in a restaurant when your disordered is super fun...not. kill me..
Willow.
[Discussion] Does anyone else get drunk so they can lose their impulse control and binge
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 9 23:16:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z6kxz/does_anyone_else_get_drunk_so_they_can_lose_their/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Friend Offering to Fast With Me
/u/JackSkeletal [5'7" | Male]
Created: Sat Sep 9 23:08:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z6jrd/friend_offering_to_fast_with_me/
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Close friend of mine has been watching me spiral down into ED hell this summer. She has her own body issues--I haven't been great about phrasing what I say, and I'm sure I've hurt her deeply.
Tonight she offered to fast with me, put together a meal plan for both of us, "so you can't accuse me of sabotaging you and so you have someone who knows what it's like." I'm six inches taller, more active, and male, so obviously no meal plan is gonna work for both of us.
This smells suspiciously like using my ED to justify hurting herself. I've hurt her deeply--I know that--but I love and care about her and I can't condone this. I feel like shit. I've done fucked up things to my body and I'm not even underweight yet.
Bottom line, I'm crazy and I know it. I don't want to give her my crazy.
Please tag rant/rave or discussion, mods, at your discretion.
[Discussion] what do you think of the top model diet?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 9 23:07:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z6jmp/what_do_you_think_of_the_top_model_diet/
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https://i.redd.it/8dpqnxzpnzkz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Drunk af and binging on veggie straws :)))
/u/happyplantlover [5'8 | CW:121lbs | GW: 112lbs | -18 lbs | F20]
Created: Sat Sep 9 22:59:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z6ieq/drunk_af_and_binging_on_veggie_straws/
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[removed]
[Other] Does anyone else have an ED/thinspo/bonespo blog? *TW*
/u/Anghoul
Created: Sat Sep 9 22:50:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z6hct/does_anyone_else_have_an_edthinspobonespo_blog_tw/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] A terrible decision with an okay outcome
/u/de1etemyse1f
Created: Sat Sep 9 22:16:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z6cdc/a_terrible_decision_with_an_okay_outcome/
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Today my family decided they wanted to go hiking. I went along with it so I wouldn't get in trouble. Before we left, I drank coffee and ate one square of dark chocolate. I packed a few snacks, and figured I wouldn't eat any breakfast just to see how hiking on an empty stomach feels.
We started hiking, and I immediately felt exhausted. I was told that it would just be a short trail. It turned out to last about 5 hours. Here's the weird part. I didn't eat *anything*. I felt like dying every step of the way, but I couldn't make myself take one bite.
When we got home, I weighed myself and discovered I'm now at 119.8 after being stuck at 122 for weeks! I'm lying in bed now as I type this and I still can't make myself eat. I guess I'm thankful for this newfound insanity.
[Thinspo] found this on tumblr, and im obsessed with it, i think im going to try it, those 800 calorie days though kinda scare me
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 9 22:07:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z6au4/found_this_on_tumblr_and_im_obsessed_with_it_i/
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https://i.redd.it/oah5xubybzkz.jpg
Which routine is more effective?
/u/emocrumpet
Created: Sat Sep 9 22:01:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z69tr/which_routine_is_more_effective/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Drunkorexic
/u/walkinghusks
Created: Sat Sep 9 21:51:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z689e/drunkorexic/
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[removed]
[Tip] pro tip: 3 shots of vodka and passing out are significantly less calories than a binge
/u/grimeygal
Created: Sat Sep 9 21:51:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z688m/pro_tip_3_shots_of_vodka_and_passing_out_are/
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[Rant/Rave] Rough Night the movie
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 19bmi | -140 | 30F | AU]
Created: Sat Sep 9 21:47:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z67m1/rough_night_the_movie/
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[removed]
[Other] i just broke my fast with breakfast in the evening, total - 88 cals
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 9 21:45:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z67cc/i_just_broke_my_fast_with_breakfast_in_the/
---
https://i.redd.it/3ky26rpn8zkz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] It's my moms birthday...
/u/handmemycoffee
Created: Sat Sep 9 21:16:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z62ro/its_my_moms_birthday/
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And I feel like crap. The food is making me irritable and moody. I purged which made my eyes swollen and my throat sore. Everyone is gorging themselves with food and it's making me feel disgusted but also annoyed. I couldn't deal with everyone seeing me be so tired and moody that I decided to lock myself inside.
I feel sorry that I'm making my moms birthday a horrible one. She keeps checking up and isn't really paying attention to the party.
I was told I looked skinnier so I don't know if it's worth it. Sometimes I really hate this battle with food because it takes away from my relationship with others.
My aunt and mom will be mad and say I was being whinny and child-ish.
Well... Looks like I'm going back outside.
[Rant/Rave] Pancakes
/u/oreofright [5' 1" | CW: 117.5 | -22.5 | GW: 100 | 23F]
Created: Sat Sep 9 20:57:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z5zod/pancakes/
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My husband and I used to always buy pancake mix in bulk packages and then we'd whip up a huge batch sometime and pack them away in the fridge so he could eat them later as he pleased. Usually I make them while he does the dishes. I like the process of making pancakes.
I woke up to a bag of pancakes sitting in the fridge, so I guess he made them in the middle of the night. I spent a lot of the morning going back and forth, fretting--pancake? no pancake. yes--I can fit it in my calories... nutrition? no... Then finally--YES. PANCAKE. And he's like "oh, no, you don't want that, I added a bunch of vegetable oil because this batter tastes gross to me. I'm not sure how much." And I had an existential crisis, as one does when pancakes are on the line. It was kind of hard not to cry because I was so hungry and had thought about it for too many hours.
I eventually got back to homework. While I was doing that, unbeknownst to me, my husband got up and made another massive batch of pancakes. But this time, even though he still added oil to his taste, he measured what he put in. He also measured out each and every pancake, making them identical in size. I didn't know any of this was going on until he comes out with this gargantuan plate piled with 24 perfect pancakes. He announces "each pancake has exactly 83 calories."
Guys. He did the calorie math for me. I cried. :)
[Discussion] Good thinspo movies on Netflix?
/u/sp0ngeb0bcirclepants
Created: Sat Sep 9 20:16:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z5t1p/good_thinspo_movies_on_netflix/
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Going to babysit and don't want to binge on their snacks, need movies to distract!
[Help] Has anyone tried this?
/u/ashirun97
Created: Sat Sep 9 19:32:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z5lqj/has_anyone_tried_this/
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https://i.redd.it/7kme30belykz.jpg
[Discussion] Overeating and projectile vomiting help and advice (sorry tmi)
/u/overeater101
Created: Sat Sep 9 19:16:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z5j0d/overeating_and_projectile_vomiting_help_and/
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Long time lurker first time poster blah blah blah throw away for privacy. On mobile idk how to flair
I'm a bit of a mess right now, I'm sorry if it doesn't make much sense.
So to finally say goodbye to the beautiful British summer we've had my boyfriends family had a bbq, it rained all day but was loads of fun anyways.
I've been hard-core restricting and fasting lately, I can't cope with much food so I get super full really quickly. My boyfriends family all know about my issues with food and have always been really supportive especially his mum, I feel comfortable eating around them and so I guess today I just went completely over the top. I have ate none stop today. Like my stomach was so swollen I couldnt stand and I seriously thought I was going to explode but I carried on stuffing Sausages and cakes right into my gob even though I was full to the brim.
I came upstairs for a rest because i was in so much pain and I was terrified of my stomach rupturing, I was reading about it and got a bit obsessed about my belly exploding and I'd die in the night. Bfs mum came up and gave me some water and calmed me down. Ten minutes later I was vomiting, not by choice. I've tried self induced vomiting after over indulging but I'm just not built for it. I just ate so much food my body forced it back out. Anyways I went to bed and I was still in a lot of pain.
Just woke up again and projectile vomited everywhere, like I was covered. Everyone was still downstairs drinking and I was up here puking my brains out wondering why on earth I ate 5 hot dogs in one go.
I'm currently at my lowest weight of 7 stone and I've been struggling with overeating but this is to the complete other level. I can't believe I allowed myself to eat so much my body had to force it back out of me. I mean I'm glad because my stomach didn't rupture but still, what a mess.
Has anyone had any experience with this before? I need to know I'm not alone with this because I feel so disgusting and ashamed of myself right now for letting myself do this
[Help] Help please. I have 6 months to lose 100 lbs. Is it possible?
/u/NotYourAverageTomBoy
Created: Sat Sep 9 18:48:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z5e3z/help_please_i_have_6_months_to_lose_100_lbs_is_it/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] "College - Where EDs Thrive"
/u/imnevergold [170 | CW 51.7 | GW 47 | BMI 17.84 | F |]
Created: Sat Sep 9 18:35:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z5bwv/college_where_eds_thrive/
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I remember someone on this sub saying this and it's so true. I've been at uni for two weeks and I've lost 2kg almost effortlessly despite drinking a lot. This is amazing. I love uni. Let me stay here forever or at least until I reach my gw.
[Discussion] Isn't restricting fun?
/u/cinnamonbicycle [5'2 | Recovering/relapsing | F]
Created: Sat Sep 9 17:21:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z4ygg/isnt_restricting_fun/
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...at first. Cut out some yogurt here, replace your creamer with nut milk there. Buy a lower calorie version of your favorite snack. Develop a newfound "love" for leafy greens and water-based soups.
Then you start going for delightful nature walks every evening, and it doesn't take long for that to become a compulsion. You cut more and more out of your meals so that you can deserve to eat at the next meal. Before you know it, all you're eating in a day is three strawberries and a protein bar and a cup of chicken broth.
You're exhausted. You hate yourself. You wish you could eat more, but at the same time you'd like to never eat again. You want to live. You want to die. You're losing weight, starving to death. You're dying.
I **know** that this is what happens. I know that whenever I start innocently cutting back at meals, it spirals down to hell. But gosh darn it, the high of restriction you get right at the beginning is unlike anything else. It feels sustainable... until it's not. And then I have a mental breakdown, enter recovery again, and start the cycle anew. Is it bad that part of me wants it to happen?
[Intro] Here We Go Again (x post from r/ eating_disorders)
/u/Ladybeeortoise [5'6" | 113 |18.2 | GW: 105 | 34/F]
Created: Sat Sep 9 16:44:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z4rcz/here_we_go_again_x_post_from_r_eating_disorders/
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This is my first post here so it may be long. I am 34 years old and have been battling a revolving door of eating disorders for 17 years. It's getting really bad again and I really don't know what else to do. I've been to treatment centers, therapy, hypnosis, numerous medications, a feeding tube, nutritionists, dietitians. Yet- here I am again.,. I'm 5'6 113 pounds. A month ago I weighed 123. The scariest part is, I haven't consciously tried to restrict. Has this been going on so long now that I don't even recognize what I'm doing anymore?
When I was 17 years old, I was healthy. I swam competitively and I ate whatever I wanted. I was 125 pounds. After I quit swimming at 17, it didn't take long for my lack of activity to catch up to the way I was used to eating. I gained 10 pounds and felt so gross and fat. It was an unbearable feeling. That's when the restrictions started. By the time I was 19, I weighed 86 pounds and was admitted to treatment. I was released at 110 pounds. 6 months later, something changed and I couldn't control how much I was eating anymore. I would binge eat and then get so panicked about gaining weight. I started purging. It started with induced vomiting, then I started taking large amounts of laxatives (5-10 at a time). I would try to run 12 miles a day to burn all the calories but inevitably, I ballooned up to 150 pounds.
At 22 I became pregnant and I felt normal about food for the first time. I had to feed the baby growing inside of me. Once my son was born, restrictions started again. By the time my son had his first birthday, I was 110 again. A year later, I went through a divorce and dropped to 97 pounds. After seeing a therapist, I was placed on anti-depressive medication and started to get my life together again. The Binge returned and on my 26th birthday, I weighed 164 pounds. Again, I hid from social events and kept to myself primarily because I was so ashamed of how fat I was. I was drinking a lot during this time period and met a nice guy that would soon become husband number 2. By the time I was 28 i had returned to a normal 130 pounds and though I sometimes felt like I over ate here or there, I was happy and food didn't consume my thoughts so much. I had stopped my antidepressants.
Later that year, my father died and my weight dropped to around 120 over the course of a year. In 2012, I decided that I was going to get healthy. I started eating better and regularly going to the gym but my fucked up brain couldn't handle the muscle weight gain. I became stressed and started binge/purging again. I grew to 154 and then started slowly trying to eat clean. I got down to 135 by the summer of 2014. In the summer of 2015 I weighed 130 and talked to my doctor about going back on my antidepressants. Once I started back on them, I felt the obsession with food fading and without trying, I got back to my best weight of 125.
Husband #2 left me in January of 2016. I made sure to keep myself healthy. I turned to my family for support and put all focus on my son. I started dating a great guy and things seemed normal. I found out in October that my 10 year old son was being sexually abused by his older step-brother when he stayed with his father. I think that's the straw that broke the camels back. My weight has dropped steadily since. I am at the point where I have no appetite and if I didn't force myself to eat, I wouldn't eat at all. Nothing has worked in the past and at this point if it weren't for my son, I wouldn't be writing this. Is there anything I haven't tried? Will I be trapped in this hell forever?
[Other] New account + stressed out!
/u/fluffy-potatoes-
Created: Sat Sep 9 16:43:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z4r2x/new_account_stressed_out/
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Hello lovely peoples! I just made this separate account so I can post more frequently without worrying about being noticed by people I know since my other account has my name in it like some doofus.
I guess I just want to rant/share my stress a minute. So we (my family) decided like last week that since we are all off work today we would go out and do something fun together. Okay, no big deal. But my family always likes to eat. So I've been doing really good all week restricting hoping that I wouldn't feel so guilty today and maybe I could eat "normal" or at maintenance. I have done good mentally up until now. This morning I ate a plain biscuit (200 cals) then around 3:00pm I ate a little bit of a soft pretzel (300 cals? Not entirely sure :( ) now it's like 6:30pm and we are going to eat supper soon and I'm on the verge of tears. I don't know where we are going yet, but I'm sure it'll be somewhere that doesn't post the calories. And you guys know how stressful that is. I'm sorry I sound pathetic and no adult should get so upset over something like this but i just don't know what to do. End of rant.
[Discussion] Suspicious of calorie labels
/u/cxwang
Created: Sat Sep 9 16:38:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z4qa0/suspicious_of_calorie_labels/
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Are there any calorie labels you are suspicious of?
Like no way is the lemon cayenne Ketiva only 20 calories! Maybe it's an irrational fear but I've seen labels for the same foods get updated with a much higher calorie count after they've been on the shelves. Anyone remember when Halal Guys changed their white sauce from like 20 calories to like 200?
[Help] How long do your plateaus last?
/u/eugibar
Created: Sat Sep 9 16:11:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z4l5b/how_long_do_your_plateaus_last/
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[removed]
ed recovery starfish
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 9 15:53:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z4hft/ed_recovery_starfish/
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https://i.redd.it/q2g5o79aixkz.jpg
[Goal] [Goal] Officially Underweight!
/u/somethingJJ [5'4" | CW: 107 | HW: 118 | LW: 93]
Created: Sat Sep 9 15:42:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z4f6h/goal_officially_underweight/
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I finally hit underweight today, which was a nice surprise :)
I don't really see a difference even though I've lost quite a bit over the past month, I've just noticed that my ribs are a bit more visible, but hey, an achievement is an achievement. I'll take what I can get.
Now I think I'm going to aim for 100 pounds or under by Thanksgiving (exactly a month away in Canada) so maybe I won't feel so bad if I eat when I go back home. Fingers crossed!
[Thinspo] some thinspo recipes i thought up
/u/witchhouseprincess [5'3" | 94 lbs | 16.1 | 31 lbs | witch]
Created: Sat Sep 9 14:45:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z4423/some_thinspo_recipes_i_thought_up/
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**orange oatmeal and watermelon balls**
¼ cup oatmeal - 75 cals
¼ cup orange juice - 30 cals
½ cup watermelon balls - 23 cals
**total: 128 cals**
stir together the oatmeal and orange juice in a mason jar or whatever container you got and let the mixture sit in the fridge overnight.
**cinnamon banana milkshake**
½ sliced frozen banana - 45 cals
½ cup 1% milk - 55 cals
½ tsp cinnamon - 0 cals
bit of cold coffee - 0 cals
**total - 100 cals**
bam low cal milkshake.
**prawn lettuce wraps**
3.5 oz cooked prawns - 66 cals
1 cup raw red leaf lettuce or any lettuce you have - 4 cals
1 tbsp siracha - 15 cals
**total: 85 cals**
[Other] I thought I made myself infertile. I'm now scheduled for an abortion on Tuesday.
/u/mommadontmakeme [5'4"| 113lbs | 19.97 | -24lbs]
Created: Sat Sep 9 14:44:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z43u2/i_thought_i_made_myself_infertile_im_now/
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I've spent the last decade fucked up. I'm still not okay. Not even close. I'm 23 and have spent the last decade swinging from anorexia to bulimia and back again. I was diagnosed 4 years ago with anorexia b/p subtype. During my most ill times I lost my periods, self harmed excessively, and became addicted to any drug I tried. At my worst, I was not eating for days, smoking £50 worth of weed a day, and not getting out of bed unless it was to run up and down the stairs to burn more calories. I failed out of my degree, lost every friend I had, and was constantly on the verge of killing myself.
The last year or so, things got better. Until a few months back, I was in control of my eating habits, liked my job, wasn't taking any drugs, though I was still (and am still) drinking to excess. Life picked up. I met a guy, a month or so ago. It's one of those gross stories where it's love at first date. I love him more than anyone, he's the most perfect partner I have ever had, and I want to be as perfect as he is. Unfortunately, the last two weeks, I've emotionally crashed. Head-first, full-force, no-brakes crashed. I cut for the first time in years. I'm back in semi-constant suicidal ideation. I've binged and purged multiple times most days, I stopped going to my councillor, and I'm drinking to excess again. Why? I don't fucking know. Is it because he's perfect and I never will be? Is it depression? Anxiety? Is it who I am as a human? Or is it the bundle of hormones you get when you get knocked up.
Yep. After years and years thinking I was infertile, this morning I took a pregnancy test and it came up positive. I only took it because my S/O thought I ought to. I have literally thought I was infertile for 6 years. However. like magic, appeared PREGNANT <2 WEEKS. I honestly never even considered it possible.
I'm booked for an EMA (Emergency Medical Abortion) this week. Blessedly available and free under the NHS, and although I feel like utter shite for destroying a potential baby; I couldn't safely carry one, nor do I want to. I have an appointment for my GP to get some anti-depressants that work, and some birth control that doesn't fail [I was on the pill to regulate the periods that I now have] that we're guessing crapped out with an antibiotic I had recently - my fault.)
I'll probably delete this. It's all fucked. Everything I touch turns to shit.
[Other] MyFitnessPal keeps giving me this advertisement and I feel attacked.
/u/tarantulahospital [5'7 | -25lb | F]
Created: Sat Sep 9 14:44:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z43t4/myfitnesspal_keeps_giving_me_this_advertisement/
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https://i.redd.it/ua2et6336xkz.jpg
[Discussion] What has been your worst binge ?
/u/kat-official [5'5" | CW: 115.6 lbs | GW: 100 lbs | -105 lbs lost | 16F]
Created: Sat Sep 9 14:40:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z434y/what_has_been_your_worst_binge/
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My worst was probably about 2500 cal. I'm binging right now after finishing a 48 hour fast and was thinking about it. Bagel bites and taquitos really fuck me up.
[Discussion] DAE not bother with healthy food
/u/Pugslyaddams [5'7"|122lbs- GW 110lbs | 19.04 (new), 19.11 (old) | -30| 20F]
Created: Sat Sep 9 14:22:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z3zf0/dae_not_bother_with_healthy_food/
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I feel like making healthy food is so much effort and the volume makes me scared so I just eat tiny amounts of shit food and exercise a lot?
Like today I had 2 nilla wafers and jogged for 1.5 hrs lol
[Rant/Rave] P3
/u/borrow_our_light [5'6| 132.2lbs | 21.42 BMI | GW 125 | UGW 115 | 20F]
Created: Sat Sep 9 13:44:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z3rmz/p3/
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I think i have a new obsession. But to preface i currently work 50-60 hours a week, go to school full time and am volunteering on a political campaign for a district election. So i have no time to meal prep, because when I'm not running between 4 different places I'm smoking and sleeping. But i have found a new food to eat that makes people not question me throughout the day. Those P3 things that have like meat, cheese, and nuts in them and the ones that I've been getting only have 180 calories. They are my new favorite thing. Sorry for rambling.
[Rant/Rave] A life looking through a not-so-funhouse mirror..
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sat Sep 9 13:40:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z3qwa/a_life_looking_through_a_notsofunhouse_mirror/
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On mobile flair as rant rave or something
I see people that seem bigger than me and yet i feel like I'm the same size or bigger. I see heavier people dressed better to accentuate their features and I feel like a sausage casing (the image is more depressing to me because I'm vegan) I feel like I need to be smaller I can't live like this. I just want to feel ok and no majorly suicidal. I don't want to hurt anymore.
I can't go to the hospital. I can't take time off work. I can't not make money I have rent to pay at the least. I have a few thousand dollars in hospital bills from my last visit. I can't afford any kind of therapy and also working 6 days a week I don't have time around work.
I can't to anything that would relieve this misery so all I can do it hope one day I wake up or the next attempt to end is really the end.
Willow.
[Other] The only things in life I look forward to are my next meal and seeing my bf
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 9 13:20:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z3mpt/the_only_things_in_life_i_look_forward_to_are_my/
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[removed]
[Goal] Only 5 pounds to go to gw1!!!
/u/blackswanrises
Created: Sat Sep 9 12:49:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z3g1t/only_5_pounds_to_go_to_gw1/
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Literally if I lose 5 pounds I'll be in a new range of numbers I've never seen before!!! I'm so excited to be at that number. I'll be hitting the gym twice daily. Food wise I will try more veggies (most taste like dirt to me). And I'll be fasting.
I haven't weighed myself in 3 weeks so I was scared to get on the scale. I went out of town and my diet went to shit. Visitors at work got us unhealthy sandwiches and cookies (I ate some bc I left obligated). And yea my diet has sucked these last few weeks.
Anyway im so excited to take on the challenge!
[Discussion] What condiments do you love (and hate)?
/u/awayawaydown [c: 17.2 | g: 16.3]
Created: Sat Sep 9 12:39:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z3e2f/what_condiments_do_you_love_and_hate/
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I'm really jamming on sugar-free BBQ sauce right now. I adore BBQ sauce, but it's obviously a sugar bomb. I was super stoked to find the sugar-free version.
Other faves: salsa and mustard (natch), nutritional yeast (lots of taste, B vites, more calories tho), vinegars (esp. balsamic).
Any ones you guys love? I really adore mayo but haven't eaten it in a long time. I wish there was a version I could have without blowing my limit out of the water.
[Rant/Rave] Lol at a binge free September
/u/kickkkasss [5'5 | CW:134 | GW:110 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 9 12:35:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z3dc1/lol_at_a_binge_free_september/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Self-care: vitamins and minerals
/u/awayawaydown [c: 17.2 | g: 16.3]
Created: Sat Sep 9 12:32:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z3clz/selfcare_vitamins_and_minerals/
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How do you get your micronutrients? I have been eating Total for the iron (I am veg) and I take a multivite. What do you like to do?
[Discussion] Do you remember the first time you were called fat or ugly?
/u/mypure [5'8 | 20 | 🍑: mypure]
Created: Sat Sep 9 12:29:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z3c1u/do_you_remember_the_first_time_you_were_called/
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There's too many times in my childhood to know which was the very first time.
[Discussion] September 9th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 9 12:03:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z36co/september_9th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What comes to mind when you think of fear?
[Discussion] Fit Girl Does Research Study Where She Binges 10k Calories For 1 Day And They Measure Exactly What Happens To Her Measurements
/u/TeenyBeanieWeenie [5'6 (66 in)| 127 lbs| 20 BMI | - 3| F]
Created: Sat Sep 9 11:30:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z2zky/fit_girl_does_research_study_where_she_binges_10k/
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For the study she is in they measure her weight, body fat percentage, water weight (intracellular and extracellular), weight of fat itself, and her BMR before the binge and the next day and day after that.
This is the video of the results of the study. There is another video of her eating all the food but I didn't think that was as useful here.
I thought you guys might be interested in what happens after a "binge". I found it surprising how exactly the binge affected each measurement differently. I'm more surprised about the 2nd day after how her body returns. I hope I explained the video well, I don't want anyone to get any negative feelings from this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6cIbIvEGJM
Link to the video.
[Discussion] The binging will end
/u/skeletonne18
Created: Sat Sep 9 11:20:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z2xea/the_binging_will_end/
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Here's to the end of a bad binge weekend. A lotta temptations I gave into, a few tears and probably one too many times looking in a mirror pulling and pinching at all the fat on my skin. I was bad but I need to forgive myself and just to get back on track. Back to 200 cals for this week, I go to a concert in a October so I want to drop at LEAST 3 kgs (around 6~ ish pounds I think)
What do y'all use as motivation to keep going, to loose the weight? Mines currently a cutttte pair of pants and going bad to my hometown for a visit. Scary stuff tbh, last time I saw everyone I was fat, still am but next visit I will absolutely not let that happen again.
[Discussion] Hardest thing about anorexia recovery?
/u/toadally-grody [174.5cm / 47.3 / 15.2 / maintaining / F]
Created: Sat Sep 9 10:54:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z2rxs/hardest_thing_about_anorexia_recovery/
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What is it for you?
Is it the eating?
The exercise ban?
The actual numbers going up?
The feeling bigger?
The lack of hunger?
I don't know what the worst part is for me and I'd be intrigued to hear anyone else's.
[Discussion] Weirdest thing you eat?
/u/Prothrowed
Created: Sat Sep 9 10:40:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z2p2d/weirdest_thing_you_eat/
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Went to the store the other day and thought- wow, bullion cubes are way cheaper than buying stock, why don't I keep this in the pantry??
Oh yeah, it's because when I get home, ED brain goes "sweet!!! Chicken flavored candy!!!"
I also eat dry oatmeal packets with a spoon 😭😭
Tell me I'm not the only one with borderline pica here??
[Rant/Rave] Getting more piercings today! (Finally, something other than food)
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | SW: 130 | CW: 125 | GW: 115 | -5 lbs | 20F]
Created: Sat Sep 9 10:38:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z2omf/getting_more_piercings_today_finally_something/
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My roommate and I are going to get some piercings done today. (She wants either a tragus or septum; I'm getting a rook and probably another cartilage.) We've been talking about doing it forever, and now it's finally happening!! It's been almost two years since my last piercing and I'm sooo ready. Ahhh! :) Finally, I have something to obsess about other than food. Just had to get it out of my system.
[Rant/Rave] Taco Bell defeat followed by small victory
/u/naughtynugget [5' 3" | CW 113 | 20.0 | GW 110 | UGW 100 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 9 10:28:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z2mmq/taco_bell_defeat_followed_by_small_victory/
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So my main way of restricting is that I just don't buy and completely avoid food that I know I can't control myself on. My pantry at home is full of Special K bars and rice cakes. BUT, I'm home visiting my parents who have absolutely no concept of health food or nutrition... the house is FULL of junk food. So already last night I binged (well, ate at a bit under maintenance, but you know) on cereal and popcorn and wine.
This morning I wake up to a HUGE bag of Taco Bell in the fridge that my mom and her friends got last night. Taco Bell is my absolute weakness. (side note for my fellow veg friends: Taco Bell is certified by the American Vegetarian Association and you can get any thing on their menu with beans instead of meat for no charge!) I let myself have some because Taco Bell in general isn't *too* bad as far as fast food is concerned. So I pulled out the bean burrito and cut out the middle half because that's where all the good stuff lives and I'm not wasting cals on the first few end bites that are all just plain tortilla. Then I realize that it was *still* mostly tortilla folded in on itself a bunch of times and ripped out all the extra. I enjoyed my few bites of burrito treat for a moment, but I went to log in MFP, I realize it's one of the highest cal things on the menu!!!! (For reference, a taco w/ beans is 160, the burrito was 380!!!). So originally I just divide it in half and call it a (very sad) day. BUT then I remembered the tortilla which is the highest cal part (200 of the 380!!!). My crazy ED brain then finds the cals for each individual ingredient in the burrito and makes a more accurate cal estimation... only 117 cals for what I ate (I rounded up to 125 just to be safe). I just spent 20 minutes being crazy, but hey, now I get to enjoy a glass of wine with my dinner salad. It's the small victories, am I right?!
Lol wow this turned into a rambling rant, didn't it? Mostly just posting this as a reminder that treating myself didn't ruin the entire day, I don't need to sad binge or fast all day to make up for it. I still enjoyed what I wanted, just in the most low cal way possible. It was super nice to have confirmation afterwards that ripping out the extra, useless tortilla wasn't just me being crazy, but a completely legitimate way to significantly bring down the calories. Woohoo for well planned treats and staying on track!
❤️ Good luck today lovelies! Remember to love yourselves and take your meds and vitamins and drink all of the water! ❤️
[Discussion] Alice in Wonderland Syndrome?
/u/missalligator [5'2" | 102.5 lb | GW: 95]
Created: Sat Sep 9 10:14:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z2jtx/alice_in_wonderland_syndrome/
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I made several attempts to meditate this week and half of the time its pretty uncomfortable due to something I've been experiencing since I was probably 5 or 6 which is this sensation of my body shrinking and expanding and my limbs being very long and my hands and feet being huge and my facial proportions being distorted like the [cortical homunculus guy](https://www.actualized.org/forum/uploads/monthly_2016_06/cortical_homunculus_by_stormthor.jpg.3b371789651eeb2dc1963c4db0346f4b.jpg)
It has given me insomnia and bad depth perception for as long as I can remember. I remember it being the worst when I try to sit still for a while, especially on a cushioned seat like a couch or a bed. I would get this weird vertigo that slightly affected my depth perception and feeling of balance but extended more so to being able to feel my body in space. I'm literally feeling it as I write this. Its very subtle right now but if I were to close my eyes it would get more intense, which is what is preventing me from meditating and sometimes sleeping. After 15 years I've decided to just google it and of course theres an obvious answer, apparently, a condition called Alice in Wonderland Syndrome. Feeling like you or the room is growing and shrinking and distortions of bodily proportions. I'm wondering if this is at all related to the development of my ED. Has anyone else experienced this phenomenon or have actually been diagnosed? I'm kinda scared but kind of relieved that there's actually a name for it, you know?
Natural laxatives??
/u/daisyhands
Created: Sat Sep 9 09:15:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z27m2/natural_laxatives/
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[removed]
[Help] Laxatives stopped working?
/u/elliebearrrr [F21|5'6"|HW:190 SW:175 CW:148]
Created: Sat Sep 9 08:18:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z1wv6/laxatives_stopped_working/
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Sorry I'm posting a lot recently
I binged last night and took a laxative straight after, these particular ones used to give me horrible stomach cramps and make Satan himself grab onto everything in my system and drag it out but recently they haven't been working for me and idk why
Is laxative resistance a thing? I haven't been taking them for that long and only maybe once every two/three weeks?
I haven't even so much as farted lol
[Help] Help, constipated :(
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 102.9 | 18.8 | -34 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 9 07:14:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z1md6/help_constipated/
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I think because my period is coming up and also my eating has been super restricted, I've gotten really constipated. Usually I use coffee to get things going, but its not working :(((( Any suggestions? I'd rather not take laxatives..
[Other] Wish I could stay in my pajamas today because I'm too fat to look good in any clothes ~justEDthings~
/u/cinnamonbicycle [5'2 | Recovering/relapsing | F]
Created: Sat Sep 9 06:53:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z1j6u/wish_i_could_stay_in_my_pajamas_today_because_im/
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I'm supposed to go out shopping in a few minutes though so I guess I'll have to showcase my layers of blubber to the world 🙃🙃🙃
Kinda want to stand in front of a train but I'm not supposed to do that sort of thing anymore. So it looks like I get to hurt in secret today while I fool everyone else into thinking I'm better. It's not hard since they fool themselves anyway.
No one wants you to be sick. They don't want to deal with it. They just want to believe you're getting better.
Update: I found an outfit that I actually feel thin and kind of pretty in! I probably just jinxed it though, lol.
'Stupid Questions' Saturday! September 09, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Sep 9 06:10:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z1d6e/stupid_questions_saturday_september_09_2017/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for September 09, 2017.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! September 09, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Sep 9 06:09:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z1d24/daily_food_diary_september_09_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 09, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
To all my UK girls who love ice cream!
/u/biscuitsisfluffy [5'4 | 11 st 0 | -11]
Created: Sat Sep 9 06:06:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z1ckh/to_all_my_uk_girls_who_love_ice_cream/
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https://i.redd.it/fddutrsllukz.jpg
[Discussion] When you gain, lose, then gain again, has your fat ever stored differently?
/u/coconutfi [5'9" | CW: 122 | GW: 116 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 9 05:10:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z15ld/when_you_gain_lose_then_gain_again_has_your_fat/
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I've been cycling the past few months with binging and restricting. I'll get pretty skinny one week then put it back on the next and so on. It's only 5-6 pounds max that I'm fluctuating, but recently I've noticed instead of everything going straight to my thighs like it normally does, it seems like it distributed more proportionately to my arms and stomach too. It's nice because I hate my thighs a little less, but now I have to worry about my arms and stomach gaining too.
I could very easily just not have been paying attention to my arms and stomach before, and I did lose some muscle in my thighs so that could be it too... Has anyone else experienced this?
[Thinspo] weed thinspo yall
/u/witchhouseprincess [5'3" | 94 lbs | 16.1 | 31 lbs | witch]
Created: Sat Sep 9 04:50:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z137m/weed_thinspo_yall/
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https://imgur.com/a/RSbjR
[Thinspo] Crying, she's so perfect
/u/-M00nFlower
Created: Sat Sep 9 04:34:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z11co/crying_shes_so_perfect/
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https://i.redd.it/ns59dko55ukz.png
[Rant/Rave] we are all dead inside
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 9 03:34:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z0ujt/we_are_all_dead_inside/
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https://i.redd.it/l49dkqdiutkz.gif
[Discussion] i only feel pretty when im hungry
/u/witchhouseprincess [5'3" | 94 lbs | 16.1 | 31 lbs | witch]
Created: Sat Sep 9 03:31:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z0u5o/i_only_feel_pretty_when_im_hungry/
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[removed]
[Discussion] ugh i havent slept all night and its peaking dawn
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 9 03:08:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z0rme/ugh_i_havent_slept_all_night_and_its_peaking_dawn/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] This will kill me if I don't kill me first. (Trigger warning for detail)
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sat Sep 9 02:48:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z0pd8/this_will_kill_me_if_i_dont_kill_me_first_trigger/
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On mobile flair as rant rave or help or whatever no one will read this.
I binged for a bit over the last week and broke my purge free streak when I went to a newly opened vegan burger place and to my dismay the person who ran my food stopped to chat,
"I see you like this place, I've seen you a lot, keep on coming."
I swallowed that bite then my heart sank into my chest and my tears crashes on the remains of the food, untouched outside two bites from the burger, a sip of a vegan shake and a couple tater tots.
I left things walked quickly to the bathroom at the back of the store, I got on my knees crying and stuffing my fingers deep enough to purge, releasing the floodgates,
Minutes go by, then it goes black.
I awake on the floor, in ball of water and vomit, I purged so hard i blacked out. I changed to my spare work clothes and left mine in the trash. No one noticed, I had no idea how long i was out. I rehydrated and left. Drinking water til I couldn't then more..
I thought it'd be a one off occurrence and it's been days. Binging, purging, blood and bile, losing my voice, feeling pain when I talk so restricting my words to when they are only necessary.
I just want to die.
I tried and maybe I'm too weak.
I wear long sleeve at work to hide my ugly arms and scars and now I hide stitches from when I slit my wrists again and didn't bleed out before someone noticed.
I took all the pills in my medicine cabinet, painkillers, prescription, sleeping pills and I just woke up in a cold sweat vomiting more until I passed out again.
I purged three times yesterday on an empty stomach only having had coffee and water.
I'll try again until I get it right and when I'm gone it will be as if I never was. I was never meant to be.
I don't want to be anymore. They call me the name my parents gave me and I haven't the heart to tell them, he died when I killed him or maybe it was the world who took their life... I am willow.
I came into the world an accident and will leave it by deliberate choice by the hands of this disease or by my own
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] Short rant.
/u/modtherich [5'3" | 🐳 | 23F]
Created: Sat Sep 9 01:30:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z0h2d/short_rant/
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I can't stop eating unless I'm bedbound because what's the point in getting up to eat when I can waste away in bed.
I can't listen to my favorite music or watch my favorite movies or anything that will make me emotional when I have food in me because I feel sick if I have food in me and I'm feeling emotional.
Everything just makes me want to starve and I can't stop eating. I'm not supposed to be wasting away in bed, but it's so hard to not do so when I just feel like I constantly want to die. I get no pleasure out of losing weight, eating is the only thing that feels good, and I don't even want to do that.
Ah well.
[Help] Feeling anxious about eating 1200 and a buffet
/u/CandidTriceratops [ 5'5'' | 208.8 | 34.8 | -17lbs | M]
Created: Sat Sep 9 01:08:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z0ene/feeling_anxious_about_eating_1200_and_a_buffet/
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[removed]
[Help] I can feel a binge coming on today already :(
/u/busterjn [5'2 | CW: fat | GW: 90lb | f20]
Created: Sat Sep 9 01:01:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z0dt3/i_can_feel_a_binge_coming_on_today_already/
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[removed]
I hate what I see. I fucking hate it.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 9 01:01:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z0dpv/i_hate_what_i_see_i_fucking_hate_it/
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[deleted]
[Intro] hello darlings 🌼
/u/hanabira [5"1 🌼 120 🌼 100 🌼 22F]
Created: Sat Sep 9 00:55:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z0d4w/hello_darlings/
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I look at the last posts I made on this account, two years ago, and realise I haven't moved an inch closer to maintaining recovery for any longer than a couple of months at a time, haha.
My name is Hanna and I really love video games. I was born in Hong Kong, grew up bouncing between there and Japan for a bit and have moved to California during high school. I am not the skinniest person and my lowest weight of all time was 98lb, when I was in high school. I began going to see a psychiatrist and therapist on and off since then, and it's been almost a decade. I've relapsed many, many times in that time period, and I've just accepted that this time around, it is just another time period in my life that I just need to welcome my ED back in.
I relapsed on July 24th and so far I have lost about 10lb since then. I generally try to eat at least 1000kcal a day, and generally I do eat something around that, maybe a lot less, usually not a lot more -- I do participate in binging/purging behaviour but it is something I fight very hard on because I know it is awful for my body.
I keep an Excel spreadsheet of my progress, that tracks my TDEE. If you would like to see my progress so far, [please click here] (http://puu.sh/xvdT6/5dca52210a.png).
I am looking for friends on MFP -- or we can just exchange diaries, as mine is public, and I'm looking forward to meeting and getting to know all of you.
[Rant/Rave] Never again
/u/elliebearrrr [F21|5'6"|HW:190 SW:175 CW:148]
Created: Sat Sep 9 00:44:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z0bu8/never_again/
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[removed]
Never again
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 9 00:43:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z0bpa/never_again/
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[deleted]
[Thinspo] [Male Thinspo] Dior Homme S/S 2007
/u/95CHOI
Created: Sat Sep 9 00:19:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z08wf/male_thinspo_dior_homme_ss_2007/
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http://imgur.com/a/HRyY8
[Rant/Rave] My food scale is accurate
/u/ci-fre [5'1" | 83-84 lb | ~16.5 new BMI | F]
Created: Fri Sep 8 23:22:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z01li/my_food_scale_is_accurate/
---
YES. I am so happy. So apparently you're recommended to test your scale with two pennies which are usually 2.5g each, so I did that to my scale and I got 5g, I'm so happy because yesterday I stayed up until 4 am worrying about my food scale. I feel so fucking relieved because I realized that sometimes the scale readings change to a higher number if I move the stuff on it off center and it seems that it usually shifts to overestimate instead of underestimate, soo... double phew. I'm so fucking relieved right now I needed to post it online haha.
[Discussion] What kind of OCD habits developed b/c of your ED?
/u/thebonefairy [5ft|CW 95|BMI 18.75|GW:85|]
Created: Fri Sep 8 23:14:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6z00d6/what_kind_of_ocd_habits_developed_bc_of_your_ed/
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I became a die-hard bullet journalist and clean freak. Everything has to be spotlessly clean and look a certain way. I have a journal which keep track of everything. Every events of the day is meticulously recorded including a graph or my weight gains & loss, upcoming event/assignments and what I eat everyday.
I clean the bathrooms religiously and launder/press my bedsheets constantly. I am too busy to eat but also if my rituals are interrupts, I have to restart to feel ok otherwise I get so angry or frustrated. :3 Wonder how everyone else reacts to their ED and habits they develop.
[Discussion] dae feel/act/look still very young?
/u/witchhouseprincess [5'3" | 94 lbs | 16.1 | 31 lbs | witch]
Created: Fri Sep 8 22:36:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yzv7b/dae_feelactlook_still_very_young/
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i mean im 31, but i have the mentality of a youth. people are floored when i tell them my age.
Pro of having a broken wrist
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 8 22:26:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yztor/pro_of_having_a_broken_wrist/
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[removed]
[Help] Advice? Idk not ED related
/u/skaggs123 [5'4 | 138 | BMI: 24.15 | -12 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 8 22:24:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yztdv/advice_idk_not_ed_related/
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[removed]
[Tip] ✨excuses✨
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 8 21:42:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yzmxg/excuses/
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[removed]
Finding old bones again is magestic
/u/3caratpixie [5"5 | 105Lbs | 17.68| -37Lbs | F]
Created: Fri Sep 8 21:05:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yzh3f/finding_old_bones_again_is_magestic/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Update on the body comments from my boss
/u/kzxwy [5' 6" | CW: 129.0 | HW: 145.0 | GW: 115.0 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 8 20:57:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yzfpn/update_on_the_body_comments_from_my_boss/
---
So I posted here a while back about my boss making innappropriate comments about me being too fat for my work pants. Basically he said they were so tight it gave an unprofessional appearance and told me to get bigger pants. The comment really upset me obviously and put my self esteem at an all time low. This was also early on when I had decided to say "fuck recovery" and was already feeling very depressed. Due to a complicated situation at work, I decided not to report him to anyone or tell him the comment upset me. (I am also very uncomfortable confronting people and would rather just avoid them, I know this is a character flaw and I need to be more assertive.)
Anyways, I have been avoiding him the past couple months and he's pretty much been leaving me alone too. I've also been on vacation so he hasn't seen me in a while. So, yesterday I did have to talk to him about something. True to his douchebag fashion he had to make another comment about my body. But this time it was "you either got a new uniform, or you lost weight on vacation! Your pants fit you now". I told him no I didn't get a new uniform, and no I don't think I've lost any weight but I don't really check. (Obvious lie, I have lost about 16 lbs since the original comment he made and weigh myself twice daily). He replied "well, you look like you are shrinking! You're looking good".
I know it's messed up because he shouldn't be commenting on his employees bodies at all, but the comment made me feel so so good. I have been working so hard lately and it's kind of ironic that douchebag boss is the only one to have noticed and praise me for it. I feel gross taking pleasure from his comments but that's my dumb brain.
Anyways, don't really know how to proceed with douchebag boss from here. All I know is I'm feeling pretty good right now.
Love you guys thanks for being my outlet for this shit and have a good day everyone xx
[Discussion] DAE use tattooing to cope??
/u/bokoblin-buddy
Created: Fri Sep 8 20:11:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yz8bc/dae_use_tattooing_to_cope/
---
So, I just turned 18 and I have super poor impulse control. I tend to do risky shit pretty much constantly, and if one thing is taken away, I'll sub in something else. Well guess what I fucking found...
Tattoos. Oh my god I love them. I love everything about it. I love the build up of the process. I love the adrenaline right before hand. I love the pain of the actual tattooing process. And I absolutely love getting in the car at the end and looking at my friend with a stupid ass grin on my face and saying, "I just got a fucking tattoo!"
It has been a week since I turned 18 and I've got two. I'm going to get my third in less than a week.
[Rant/Rave] please stop wanting to be mentally ill
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 8 20:05:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yz79e/please_stop_wanting_to_be_mentally_ill/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] School
/u/jackbr0wn66
Created: Fri Sep 8 19:51:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yz4tg/school/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] irma's making me binge for the first time in forever
/u/ariisjustterrible [5'0 | 111 | GW:100 | UGW:90 | HW:~160|18F]
Created: Fri Sep 8 19:40:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yz353/irmas_making_me_binge_for_the_first_time_in/
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my parents are great for my ed. they're mostly absent from my life and i purchase my own food, but now that there's a hurricane coming they've had to actually grocery shop for non-perishable food... such as cheetos, salsa, cookies, bread, lime tostitos, brownies. no wonder i was a fat kid. of course i can't control myself and quietly eat my cauliflower rice while my mom devours some doritos. probably had 2000 cals today and i'm eyeing those cookies so hard. my food baby is ever growing and the hurricane hasn't even touched the US yet. thanks irma.
[Rant/Rave] i used to think 500 cals a day was way too little
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 8 19:08:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yyxu2/i_used_to_think_500_cals_a_day_was_way_too_little/
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[removed]
[Help] Does green tea *really* help you boost your metabolism?
/u/eugibar
Created: Fri Sep 8 18:46:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yytti/does_green_tea_really_help_you_boost_your/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] Armspo.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Fri Sep 8 18:17:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yyoml/armspo/
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https://i.redd.it/6prw7x753rkz.jpg
[Discussion] Friends?
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Fri Sep 8 18:15:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yyo9o/friends/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I won't mince words. I am still alive but that's not saying much.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Fri Sep 8 17:59:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yyl81/i_wont_mince_words_i_am_still_alive_but_thats_not/
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I don't know how to flair this. Rant or rave?
I've tried to end my life twice since my last post. The afterlife doesn't want me it would seem and living is miserable when I am sober so I have resorted to staying drunk/high/really caffeinated.
Anyone wondering I'm still alive unfortunately. I'll go back to not bothering any of you.
Regards,
Willow.
[Help] Bought my fourth scale
/u/kaliolis [5'4 | CW: 51.1 KG | GW: 40 KG |19.4 | WL: 18.9 KG | F]
Created: Fri Sep 8 17:41:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yyhsf/bought_my_fourth_scale/
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And I'm still not satisfied. Weighed in at 51 KG on three of my non-digital weighing scales and weighed in at 53 KG on my new digital scale. I am sick of feeling like I'm not losing weight when I've been eating an average of 120 calories for two weeks now.
Is it possible that I have reached a plateau???? If that even is a real thing??
[Thinspo] What happened to the thinspo subreddit?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 8 16:41:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yy5nu/what_happened_to_the_thinspo_subreddit/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Review: Miracle Noodle's Read to Eat Pad Thai
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 8 15:57:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yxwn5/review_miracle_noodles_read_to_eat_pad_thai/
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https://i.redd.it/xprhmw23eqkz.jpg
How to make an ECY stack?
/u/miracleunicat
Created: Fri Sep 8 15:39:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yxstg/how_to_make_an_ecy_stack/
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[removed]
[Intro] Hi all, I'm back yet again. [Intro/Help]
/u/cinnamonbicycle [5'2 | Recovering/relapsing | F]
Created: Fri Sep 8 15:28:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yxqbp/hi_all_im_back_yet_again_introhelp/
---
Hi, I'm cinnamonbicycle. I've been on this sub awhile but never really did an intro, so why not do one now? I "left" the sub twice to focus on recovery, but somehow I keep finding my way back here. The first time, I didn't know what recovery was. I wasn't prepared for the weight gain, and this caused me to relapse. Eventually, I decided to actually recover even knowing full well what it entails. I guess thats the short version of my struggle with anorexia.
Now I'm stuck in a weird middle-ground. I'm willing to fully reach my dietician's GW for me and maintain it for three months, since that's what it will take for her to stop watching me so closely. But after that, I think I'd like to go back to restricting. I know I definitely will when I go to college in a couple years. I don't plan on doing low-restriction like I used to (sub-200 every day usually) because I need to focus on schoolwork right now, but I feel most comfortable when I'm restricting and losing weight. I'm sure you guys know what that's like.
So I'm wondering if anyone has successfully done this and has been able to maintain it. I guess what I'm asking is, is it possible to have an ED and a life at the same time? How do I do it?
[Discussion] How much weight do you all lose a week (approx.)?
/u/daisyhands
Created: Fri Sep 8 15:02:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yxkt4/how_much_weight_do_you_all_lose_a_week_approx/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] the pants that fit me loosely at the beginning of the summer now fit me snugly and it's making me anxious
/u/fairyqueen434
Created: Fri Sep 8 14:47:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yxhi9/the_pants_that_fit_me_loosely_at_the_beginning_of/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] "Look at your Buddha belly!"
/u/northdakotanowhere [5'7 | CW:121 | BMI:19 | F/27]
Created: Fri Sep 8 14:34:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yxeqk/look_at_your_buddha_belly/
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Said my boyfriend.
We're in Italy and I've found it impossible to keep up with restricting. It's been so hard on me. I've been enjoying the food but not the guilt that comes along with it. Every day I look in the mirror and hate myself. I look at my stomach and just want to die. But I don't tell him that.
We just got back from Gelato and I am full. He saw my stomach and said the Buddha belly thing. He was happy because he hasn't seen it in awhile. He's happy because I'm eating. He's happy because I'm not worrying about food. But I absolutely am. And I know his happiness comes from a great healthy place. But my mood has shifted significantly now. I'm sad and fat and cannot wait to go back to restricting after this damn vacation. I'm so fucking tired of food. I'm viewing it as a week long binge. Uggghh
[Help] Road trip snacks
/u/dbk1982
Created: Fri Sep 8 14:12:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yx9ox/road_trip_snacks/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] thank mr. whoosh
/u/like_a_living_thing [5'4" | 115 | F | 👽]
Created: Fri Sep 8 14:00:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yx6y0/thank_mr_whoosh/
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I've been high restricting lately and it didn't seem to be working, I was stuck around 120-121 and felt really gross and upset with myself. Then, classes started tuesday which I've been using to distract myself and low-restrict and over the past 3 days my weight went from 121 --> 118 --> 115 and I am SO HAPPY. It makes me feel so validated that high restricting works, and if the weight isn't coming off it's likely water. It's noticeable, too. My birthday is soon and if I keep on track I can be 105 lbs by then, but I probably won't keep on track unfortunately. /: I am okay with being 110 by then. That's my lw anyway, and I'll see my parents so I don't want them to be too harsh so maybe it's better. If I do stick to my plan and get to 105 I obviously won't be mad though lol! Hoping to be 100 by november 1st though.
Sorry if this is scattered, I'm just so excited.
[Rant/Rave] [RANT] People aren't obligated to care
/u/milky_silky [5'6" | 105lbs]
Created: Fri Sep 8 13:50:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yx516/rant_people_arent_obligated_to_care/
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One of the things I'm struggling to accept as I'm becoming an adult is the fact that people don't care, and you can't make them. My entire life I had a support system, a safety net. Something to fall onto. I don't even know how or when it happened, but recently I've almost been BEGGING for someone to care. I have no one. And I can't make someone care. It makes me feel pathetic. I just want someone to ask me if I'm okay. I have to accept no one will. It's only me here. It sucks. I have to deal with it. Somehow.
[Rant/Rave] I can't stop eating and honestly I'm afraid
/u/archerofdawn [154cm | SW 164 | CW 136 | GW 88 | -28 | NB]
Created: Fri Sep 8 13:35:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yx1lp/i_cant_stop_eating_and_honestly_im_afraid/
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sorry this is just a long vent/rant thing
so I'm going out in literally half an hour to do some super quick shopping with my sister and then stopping by a restaurant we haven't been to in a long time, and as long as that's the only meal I have today I would have been fine with it since I'm trying to ease myself back into restricting
Bitch you thought!
I was hungry so I went downstairs so that I could make myself some tea and instead I opened the pantry and got chips. Then somehow I made myself instant noodles. I'm 800+ cals in and it's only half past three. All this past month I've just been eating and eating and eating and eating and I've been logging all of it and every single day is 2k+ calories and some are literally 4k (!!!) calories and I'm so sick and tired of eating lmao and yet I can't stop
I don't even know what happened. All I know is the logical progression for me is to start purging and holy hell do I not want to do that. It's so weird when you can literally pinpoint the shift into the binge/purge mindset? I just want all of this out of me. But I really don't want to. But I have to. But I don't want to. lmao
I'm telling myself I'm going to drink at least 3 bottles of water a day, drink tea, and stack but I've been stacking pretty much every day for august so I'm also afraid of that. I just want to not eat is that so hard? (apparently it is)
[Rant/Rave] Hiding in the bathroom rn to hide from the chewing noises.
/u/sp_600 [5'7🌻107🌻16.8🌻20f]
Created: Fri Sep 8 13:28:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ywzya/hiding_in_the_bathroom_rn_to_hide_from_the/
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The kids I am watching are eating sweets and I swear to god that the sounds they are making are the worst I have ever heard. Its making me angry. It bothers me so much i had to go into the other room.
Anybody else get like this?
[Rant/Rave] I have to take a phys ed class this semester and it's really fucking with me
/u/ikillsouls [5' 2" | 104 | 19.0 | Ugw: 85 |19f]
Created: Fri Sep 8 13:05:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ywuq9/i_have_to_take_a_phys_ed_class_this_semester_and/
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I hate school requirements but this is by far the worst.
I managed to be ok this summer, I maintained and I was ok with it. I avoided triggers and binges and I really felt like I was doing okay.
The past couple weeks have been pretty crappy though so it's kind of been sending me into a spiral. Anyway, wednesday i started classes and I started my phys ed class, in which we'll be mostly doing physical activity.
I got on one of the elipticals and it was so fucking nice, like almost brand new and I watched as the calorie count went up one by one and it felt so. Fucking. Satisfying. I suddenly really want that feeling back, of losing again and stopping the machine right when I get lightheaded and being asked if im losing weight again.
I'm pretty sure it's just all the emotions from the shit I've been going through this past week but I also think that this is just something I can not escape.
[Thinspo] How I want to look in *clothes*
/u/diet247x [5'3 | CW: 133 lbs | -22 lbs | GW: 110 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Sep 8 13:04:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ywufh/how_i_want_to_look_in_clothes/
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https://imgur.com/a/qOoOu
[Rant/Rave] DAE get suspicious about weight
/u/SomethingsGottaHave
Created: Fri Sep 8 12:30:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ywmpr/dae_get_suspicious_about_weight/
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When I feel like I've been eating too much and the scale doesn't go up, I get really suspicious. Like my body is taunting me. What's really messed up is it just makes me restrict more cus there's no way the scale is telling the truth...
DAE get this way haha?
[Rant/Rave] 50 days binge free :)
/u/AccaliaOmg [5'3 | 112| 19.7 | -18 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 8 12:29:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ywmju/50_days_binge_free/
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[removed]
[Other] At a low point, I asked my boyfriend to call a treatment facility...
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 102.9 | 18.8 | -34 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 8 12:22:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ywkt8/at_a_low_point_i_asked_my_boyfriend_to_call_a/
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[removed]
Actually want to die at work right now
/u/naughtynugget [5' 3" | CW 113 | 20.0 | GW 110 | UGW 100 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 8 12:08:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ywhvw/actually_want_to_die_at_work_right_now/
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I usually bartend but they moved me to the snack bar today and I've already had a bag of chips, a chocolate chip cookie, and two pastries. That's more than I usually eat in an entire day. And I'm going home tonight and I always stress eat around my parents. And I was at a high weight this morning even though I haven't eaten over 1200 in idk how long. And I ran out of Vyvanse until next Thursday which means binge central. I was finally losing consistently again... why tf must I be like this.
[Discussion] Fucked up and binged, tips on purging?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 8 12:04:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ywgyn/fucked_up_and_binged_tips_on_purging/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] No. More. Purging. (Rant + advice please?)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 8 11:49:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ywdft/no_more_purging_rant_advice_please/
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[deleted]
[Other] My dream life
/u/oksneaky [CW:126.8 | GW:114 | 5'3.5F]
Created: Fri Sep 8 11:40:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ywbcl/my_dream_life/
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https://boingboing.net/2017/09/07/watch-the-most-disturbing-ice.html
[Intro] Introduction
/u/lwruk
Created: Fri Sep 8 11:30:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yw8wh/introduction/
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um, hello everyone! I'm not sure how to really start this but I've been a lurker on this forum for a while and now i need some help with certain things so before I start asking I though I might introduce myself!
I'm a 21 year old female living in the uk. I've been through this ed business before and I recovered, but now it's back and all the nasty thoughts are back. I'm officially diagnosed with BPD and it's not helping my situation 😕.
Anyways, I just need some support really and to be able to talk to people who won't judge if I've not eaten for days or if I don't wanna eat certain things and all that. I feel like it's such a lonely illness sometimes.
My first question really is during a long fast, what do you guys take to keep energy level up and things like electrolytes and all that? I drink water and black coffee through out my fasts so I'm hydrated but is there anything I could add to water for electrolytes or anything like that? I can't stand diet fuzzy drinks otherwise I'd drink them for some energy (I just can't stand the fizzy and bloated feeling they give me).
Last time I did all this fasting business I got really weak and tired, but I'm at university this time and I can't be drifting and making it obvious that I'm ill.
Many thanks xx
[Intro] [Intro] Hello everyone!
/u/yehetnini [168 cm | 50.7 kg | BMI 18 | 17 F]
Created: Fri Sep 8 10:57:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yw16z/intro_hello_everyone/
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Hey, I'm Nicole and I live in Sweden. I'm obsessed with counting calories. Eating more than 1200 calories a day makes me anxious. My BMI is considered underweight although I still see a chubby person in the mirror, it could be body dysmorphia.
Anyways, besides my disordered eating behaviours, I'm a happy person who likes to spend her freetime dancing, playing video games, reading and studying. I love beauty and fashion related topics as well. I'm pretty much a perfectionist. I feel the need to always look great and be the top of my class. I really dislike losing, which makes me pretty stubborn, haha.
Also, PM me if you want to add me on MFP, I have an open diary and would love to share what I eat in a day with others!
[Rant/Rave] Low calorie pumpkin spice isn't worth it
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | afraid to weigh | M]
Created: Fri Sep 8 10:55:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yw0t4/low_calorie_pumpkin_spice_isnt_worth_it/
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I just paid $5.58 for what tastes like normal black coffee but which has 240kcal. Never again.
[Rant/Rave] When you up your cals for compensation (the shame)
/u/Suusss
Created: Fri Sep 8 10:42:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yvxqs/when_you_up_your_cals_for_compensation_the_shame/
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[removed]
[Intro] [intro] hello again, relapsing again
/u/WholeFoodsHotBar [5'6" | GW: 114 | 20F]
Created: Fri Sep 8 09:59:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yvnxv/intro_hello_again_relapsing_again/
---
About a year ago, I had left this sub to seek professional help for bulimia. I went to see nutritionists, psychiatrists, and eating disorder specialist. It was somewhat helpful, but under it all, I know that I was never going to be completely happy until I lost all the weight I wanted to.
I have maintained my weight, but it's nowhere where I truly want to be.
My main goal is to try to lose at least 20lbs before Halloween.. but I know that I won't commit to this until I had some kind of accountability somewhere. Anyways, Ill be mainly here for self-care while relapsing, daily inspiration, and learning of other people's experiences on this sub. I remember this sub being so welcoming last year and still seems like it. I hope I can fit in <3
[Rant/Rave] Feeling good this morning :)
/u/awayawaydown [c: 17.2 | g: 16.3]
Created: Fri Sep 8 09:47:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yvlar/feeling_good_this_morning/
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It's a little chilly, and I am wearing a comfy sweater. Didn't feel hungry this morning or weak. Took a long walk and enjoyed 1/3 of a delicious pumpkin pecan donut. Also, finally broke a multi-week plateau. I bought a new beautiful sweater at the thrift store and an old rolling pin with so much character. I am looking forward to making a family heirloom recipe :)
Just wanted to share my happiness.
[Discussion] Why do you stay in this sub?
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'3"|110| 25F]
Created: Fri Sep 8 09:47:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yvl9q/why_do_you_stay_in_this_sub/
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I can't leave this sub because it:
- normalizes/rationalizes/gives a reason for my b and p behavior even tho I'm breaking down my body lol
- has people that genuinely understand the dichotomy and struggle of eating disorders.
- makes me feel like if I'm self destructing, someone else somewhere is too and we will probs die together too at the speed we are goin /s (this is depressing to type out so I tried out humor lol )
[Intro] Hey proed, time to meet me! [Intro]
/u/Porcelainepeony [5'4"| CW: 119 | GW: ≤105 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 8 08:51:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yv8i4/hey_proed_time_to_meet_me_intro/
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Hello, everyone! My name is Laine and I, like you, have an eating disorder. My biggest issue is bingeing and purging, I know severe calorie restriction isn't necessarily good for your body but the constant purgeing has just become too much for me. It all started when my dad passed away when I was 18 (I'm now 24) and after hearing the news I found it impossible to eat without the most extreme stomach pains. So, I didn't eat and as a result I lost weight and found myself happier with my appearance than ever before. At the time I didn't think I was that attractive of course, but now that I've put back on the weight I realise just how much better I looked.
For me a large part of my eating disorder is just having control over a life I feel like is falling apart. I have bipolar disorder that's on it's way to being controlled with medication, I'm in a stressful relationship with a boyfriend who has his own mental health issues, and after losing my father to cancer my mom has also, not too long ago, been diagnosed with terminal cancer. I live about 2k miles away, she's in a bad situation and there's nothing I can do to help. With my current relationship being so strained, as the time ticks by until he proposes because he thinks we can truly do it, my mom's time on this earth is getting shorter and shorter. It's not likely she'll see any of her children get married. I find myself so frustrated that I want to self harm, I feel more and more hatred towards myself for not being able to do anything. I often feel miserable, even when I wasn't exhibiting dietary symptoms of an eating disorder I've always stared at myself in the mirror from every angle, I had to throw away a measuring tape because it had become all consuming.
I need something though, my mind is screaming for this. It's screaming at me that I've gotten fat, that I have no self control, I just want to be a part of a community that understands and wont persecute me for my actions. It's not entirely a relapse, even when I was eating normally I would make myself throw up multiple times a day, so it's not like I've decided to have an eating disorder again because I missed it.
So that's me, happy as I can be to be here with y'all.
[Other] Have I gone crazy, proed?
/u/raspberryfleur [5'6 | 117 | 18.9 | -52 | Female]
Created: Fri Sep 8 08:42:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yv6lu/have_i_gone_crazy_proed/
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Soooo my tummy has been looking flatter lately. I've gone back to college and I'm studying like mad! Even moved into a new place. I still eat only once or maybe twice a day.
But yet the scale says I've gone up? I moved to a new place and it says 125lb. Yet I still fit into my size 2 jeans and small/x-small tops. Just like when I was 118.
I used to be 118 with a little pooch and now I'm 125 with a flat belly. No, I don't exercise. I take 12,000 steps a day instead of 35,000. I'm happy yet sad that the scale gone up. It's like do I actually weigh 125 or is my scale just inaccurate?
Fuck this is eating me alive.
[Rant/Rave] I find it hard to stop myself eating :(
/u/shy-----guy [5ft 6" | SW 182lbs | CW 140lbs | UGW 115lbs | Male | 26 yo]
Created: Fri Sep 8 08:40:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yv64p/i_find_it_hard_to_stop_myself_eating/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Heart Rate Monitor & small rant
/u/TacosGetMeThrough [5'4|28F|SW: 180|CW: 170|GW: 140|UGW: 120]
Created: Fri Sep 8 08:18:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yv1or/heart_rate_monitor_small_rant/
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I have worn a Polar A300 activity watch every single day since the day I bought it about 3 years ago. It comes with a HRM strap which I LOVE and helped me lose 50 lbs back in the day. Calorie counting & exercise calories are my everything. Seeing the calories I burn & tracking them on apps is what motivates me especially when the weight isn't changing on the scale.
Recently after a work out I lost my HRM which is crazy that I could work out for over 3 years with this thing & not lose it only for it to vanish. The woman I work out with everyday just kept saying it's no big deal you focus too much on calories. THAT IS HOW YOU LOSE WEIGHT. She hasn't lost weight since we started exercising because she does not count calories or change her eating & I lost 10 lbs. I am so paranoid now, usually a workout burns 200 or so calories & I do 400 cals a day, now my run app is just guessing saying I'm burning 300+ cals a session (I wish!!!).
Now I am debating on splurging $$$ on a better watch that does HRM through the watch or just buying a new HRM on the cheap. I have a little money saved so I feel like I should splurge a bit but I never do because I feel guilty.
Just a small rant to vent.
[Discussion] How do you feel about posts that are asking how to lose weight?
/u/uzumakiiii
Created: Fri Sep 8 08:01:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yuy16/how_do_you_feel_about_posts_that_are_asking_how/
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There seems to be a very fine line between someone with an eating disorder and someone looking for dieting tips..
I've seen so many posts on here that follow the generic "I'm fat, give me tips on how to lose weight" and you have to question whether they suffer a mental illness or just want to lose weight.
This isn't supposed to be a dieting sub.. Thoughts?
[Discussion] How do you feel about people that come here asking how losing weight?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 8 07:51:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yuvuc/how_do_you_feel_about_people_that_come_here/
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[deleted]
I weigh 60kg and I'm 1'53cm.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 8 07:35:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yusip/i_weigh_60kg_and_im_153cm/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Anyone else have trouble coping with OTHER people's eating habits?
/u/imprettyhopeless [5'1 | 113 | 22.30 | -39 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 8 07:30:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yurql/anyone_else_have_trouble_coping_with_other/
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Seeing the amount of food my friends eat stresses me the fuck out. I know that I need to stop projecting my fear of gaining weight onto other people but holy shit, going out to eat and watching someone have a full meal, large fries, non-diet soda, and a huge cup of ice cream practically gives me a stress ulcer.
[Discussion] September 8th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 8 07:29:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yurdp/september_8th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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Who are you jealous of?
[Discussion] What are some smaller things you guys do to treat yourselves?
/u/follyflop [5'9" | CW: fucking ew | GW: much less | F]
Created: Fri Sep 8 07:16:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yuoyi/what_are_some_smaller_things_you_guys_do_to_treat/
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I'm trying to get out of the habit of when I have a good week of restricting, or even just a good week at work or something, and then come Friday I go treat myself to a pasta meal or even like Subway or something. I will sometimes treat myself and go get my nails done (fake ones) but I don't wanna spend that much money right now! So yeah, do you guys have cheaper ways to treat yourselves a little that don't involve food?
[Goal] I managed to stop
/u/NaughtyPilgrim
Created: Fri Sep 8 07:02:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yum1j/i_managed_to_stop/
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First time poster long time lurker yadada.
Anyway, I after months of binge/restriction cycles I finally managed to stop myself in the middle of a binge!
I know it sounds small but I've never been able to do this before and it is a huge accomplishment and I have no one else to share this with.
Admittedly I had already binged ~1200 calories before I stopped, but I would have gone well over 2500 if I hadn't.
But yeah, I'm just proud of myself for this, for the first time ever. 110lbs here I come!!!
[Thinspo] Found while looking for fall fashion ideas (although obviously not a fall outfit). She's perfect.
/u/for-your-pleasure [5'3" | CW120ish | GW99 | AFAB/they]
Created: Fri Sep 8 06:43:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yuikw/found_while_looking_for_fall_fashion_ideas/
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https://i.redd.it/mybdbrucnnkz.jpg
[Discussion] Does anyone else....
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 161.8 | GW:118 | -4 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 8 06:39:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yuhte/does_anyone_else/
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wallow in denial land? Okay lemme explain. So I have this obsession with mfp. More of a compulsion tbh.
So I bought a scale with a Wi-Fi thingy that when I weigh myself it automatically transfers to mfp, so I can see my trend. But I get super upset when I see it trending up, so I just....delete the entry for that weigh-in and pretend it didn't happen so it doesn't fuck up that beautiful downward line, and ill keep the next weigh-in that either shows me maintaining or losing.
I KNOW when I've been gaining but I just can't stand seeing that line trend upwards, even by a few percents of a pound. It's super neurotic and nuts, but ughhhh. Fuck you scale!
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! September 08, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Sep 8 06:13:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yudfg/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for September 08, 2017.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! September 08, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Sep 8 06:13:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yudej/daily_food_diary_september_08_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 08, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] How has the amount and type of attention you get from the opposite gender changed as you've lost/gained weight?
/u/soberasfuck
Created: Fri Sep 8 05:42:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yu8no/how_has_the_amount_and_type_of_attention_you_get/
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[Rant/Rave] I hate having to fake recovery....
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 8 04:56:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yu1r9/i_hate_having_to_fake_recovery/
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[deleted]
[Goal] Finally have a goal!
/u/janesavage [167 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 50 kg | 18F]
Created: Fri Sep 8 03:19:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ytp1j/finally_have_a_goal/
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I mean, I've had a weight in mind for a while now, that much is obvious. But now I've finally got a *date*, which, I don't know, just makes this feel like a much more...*real* thing. I can finally think in terms of a concrete time limit, and that's very satisfying. To be frank, I've always been slightly envious when I hear about people here saying "oh I'm getting ready for a wedding/start of school/holiday".
Late November, I've got a trip to Amsterdam with some friends planned. Haven't seen them in about five months, so I want to be definitely smaller than back then. I'm still without a scale, so I'll need to rely on simply what I see, but I'm just so glad to have a specific date now. 🤗
Unrelated, but today I managed the walk to my new school and back home *all by myself* and only using the GPS on my mobile for the way there. I'm still a bit disoriented here, but it's a step in the right direction!
(Literally. 😆)
Edit: HAHAHA I JUST WENT OUT AND BOUGHT A SCALE. ❗️❗️❗️❗️*NOTHING STANDS IN MY WAY NOW!*
[Rant/Rave] EDs and self-defense
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 113.8 | GW: 105 | M/15]
Created: Fri Sep 8 03:13:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ytoab/eds_and_selfdefense/
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I sometimes wish I could switch between being skinny and short to being 6'0 and 250 lb at will. I feel the need to keep a weapon on me at all times to make up for my weight and feel uncomfortable whenever I don't have one. Whenever someone is significantly bigger than me I'm extremely on edge around them. I might want to be a police officer or join the military in the future and you obviously need to be strong for both of those. Additionally my mom (stupidly) expects me to like protect the entire family even though I'm the skinniest one in it just because of my gender, as I'm the only male. I just wish I could have the desire to be big but I can't stop wanting to be skinny. Can anyone relate?
[Other] "We will be short 214 trillion calories by 2027"
/u/Vio1et [155cm | 46kg | 19 | f]
Created: Fri Sep 8 02:44:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ytkmr/we_will_be_short_214_trillion_calories_by_2027/
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This is from a story about world hunger, and being short 214,000,000,000,000 calories worldwide is no laughing matter.
Tbh though I heard this quote on the BBC just now and immediately thought of y'all 🙈🙈🙈
I'm a terrible person.
...but also what does 214 trillion calories even look like??? 😳
[Help] So how do you deal with a plateau?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 8 01:26:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ytb6j/so_how_do_you_deal_with_a_plateau/
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[removed]
[Discussion] What gyms do you all go to?
/u/katya_del_rey
Created: Thu Sep 7 23:39:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ysvm7/what_gyms_do_you_all_go_to/
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Just got a new membership at Chuze Fitness yesterday and needless to say I'm stoked to get back on my fitness grind. I previously had a membership at Planet Fitness for like 4 years, but the one I went to started to go down hill in quality (machines breaking down, overcrowding, etc.). So far, I love the switch. The machines at the new place are really cool and the air conditioning is 👌🏼💯.
So yeah, what gyms do you all go to?
[Rant/Rave] I fucked up today and it's getting to my head.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 7 23:23:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yst5q/i_fucked_up_today_and_its_getting_to_my_head/
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[deleted]
[Other] Forgot I can't drink full cream milk. Drank whole bottle of full cream milk.
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Thu Sep 7 22:19:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ysisx/forgot_i_cant_drink_full_cream_milk_drank_whole/
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Now my stomach is gurgling.
I know it's fucked up, but I'm rather keen for the lax effect the milk is going to cause....
I also can't wait to weigh myself before and after.
Surely somewhere in my brain is a normal, Non -ED part of me crying out for help.
[Help] period changes?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 7 22:17:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ysiex/period_changes/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] building my new thinspo album 💙
/u/witchhouseprincess [5'3" | 94 lbs | 16.1 | 31 lbs | witch]
Created: Thu Sep 7 20:58:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ys4m2/building_my_new_thinspo_album/
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https://imgur.com/a/mFeUa
[Discussion] do yall obsess about myfitnesspal? cause same
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 7 20:53:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ys3sh/do_yall_obsess_about_myfitnesspal_cause_same/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I'm 520 over my restriction and my mom and sister are in the room right next to the bathroom
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 7 19:40:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yrpud/im_520_over_my_restriction_and_my_mom_and_sister/
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[removed]
[Discussion] If you had a device that could tell you your exact calories burned, how would it affect your ED?
/u/BlackHairedBloodElf [❤ 5' 2" 💛 CW: 97.6 💚 GW: 99 💙 17.9 💜 F ❤]
Created: Thu Sep 7 18:48:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yrfnu/if_you_had_a_device_that_could_tell_you_your/
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Let's say Fitbit, 23AndMe, and some science company got together. For $500, you get a DNA test that checks your BMR and how well you burn calories, and programs you a wrist-wearable device that tells you your EXACT calories burned. The DNA test app that links with it will tell you when you would experience a whoosh of weight loss, and is never off by more than 48 hours.
In the study, they say that it works perfectly if you weigh all your food on a scale and log it to MyFitnessPal.
Somehow, your school/work/etc has a giveaway and you win, netting you one for free.
Now you perfectly know what calories you burn and when you will lose your weight. How would this affect your ED?
Would you be more calm knowing exactly when you'd lose weight? If you were used to eating 600 cals a day and your exact cals burned average 1600/day, would you allow yourself to eat closer to 1000/day knowing you would see a 5lb loss in 38 +/- 2 days? (30 days for cals, + ~8 days for your DNA-adjusted whoosh time)
Or would you be more tense, pushing for lower than your usual cals to see a really huge loss in 2 weeks?
I'm asking because I wonder if actually having weight loss science perfected would help those with EDs or make them worse-off. I have my own opinion on how it would help me but would like to see what the rest of you think.
[Discussion] Does anybody else wonder what colors would taste like?
/u/PurplePensOnly [5'9 | CW 164.0 | -16 | UGW 120 | GW 150 | 22F]
Created: Thu Sep 7 18:39:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yrdz5/does_anybody_else_wonder_what_colors_would_taste/
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I was watching Adventure Time and first off, Marceline is some MAJOR thinspo. But she eats colors, and it got me wondering what different colors would taste like. Would a mix between two colors taste like a mix of the two colors that make it?
Here are my guesses on the rainbow though.
* Red: I'm pretty sure red would taste just like Minute Maid Fruit Punch. Like generically fruity, though you might not be able to place the exact fruit.
* Orange: Probably like an Orange.
* Yellow: I imagine yellow tasting FRESH. Like the way your mouth feels after you eat salad, but not the taste of salad.
* Green: Green feels like it would taste herb-y. Like basil.
* Blue: The flavor of Cotton Candy Ice Cream. Like a sort of tangy sweetness, cloying and delicious.
* Purple: I think purple would taste like stew. Warm and hearty and so hot it warms your soul.
Sorry. I'm. So. Hungry.
[Rant/Rave] my breakup or so story
/u/Lifemustchange
Created: Thu Sep 7 17:54:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yr51j/my_breakup_or_so_story/
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This all started last july when i met a guy. This guy fell in love with me he was crazy about me in our pre dating time from july to december. He would text me everday give me compliments something I never had in my life before.
This piece of information may be trivial to some but I settled for this guy. I was slim while he was fat real fat he had man tits and a waist I couldn't wrap my arms around. I overlooked this and fell in love with him around october.
In december we decided to be a couple and after that the texting the flatter exponetially increased and this went on till mid july. After mid july I realized that he wasnt texting me as often and often doing other things on social media while he still hadnt texted me. I thought he was just busy due to his internship when it ended the ignoring still went on.
A few days ago he wrote me a text that he really enjoyed his time with me the past year and he loved our interactions but told me that he couldnt handle a realtionship atm because apparently he had a bazallion other things to focus on. He told me that a relationship was something he could not concentrate on atm and he didnt have the focus or concentration for it. I honestly was so surprised. I know he wouldnt leave me for sex etc becuase he's not too comfortable with basic affection like kissing and he has given me strong attention until mid july He also said that if he was ready to be in a realtionship again he would really want for us to continue our realtionship again.
I also metnioned that maybe we should have a breakup because im doing my med school apps this year just to chime in and not seem hurt. And then he said yeah i understand. I'm confused rn this is a guy who is butt ugly didnt initiate anything more than kissing even after knowing me for one year and suddenly decides that he isnt ready for a realtionship. It feels all so weird because I dont understand does he not want a realtionship because of school and work duties or somthing else and is this a short period break or a cutoff forever.
i really dont understnd my bmi is like 21 his like prob 30 and he doesnt like me enough
tl;dr: Guy I settled for decides to take a romantic break as he feels he is not ready for a realtionship
[Goal] Finally hit a new LW!
/u/PrettyGirlsDontEat
Created: Thu Sep 7 17:37:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yr1m2/finally_hit_a_new_lw/
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After literal months of jumping between 136 and 138 pounds I finally stepped on the scale today and it read 135! On top of that I haven't even pooped from my last meal yet so after that I could weigh even less. I'd really like to thank all the beautiful people on this sub for being supportive and knowledgeable otherwise I feel like I'd still be stuck. Thank you thank you thank you :)
[Intro] Been lurking here a while.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 7 17:01:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yquaf/been_lurking_here_a_while/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] crying over food, or a lack of it.
/u/trashboating_ [5'1" | CW: ~89 | BMI: 17.56 | F | 🍑: aureiia]
Created: Thu Sep 7 16:53:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yqsik/crying_over_food_or_a_lack_of_it/
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okay can someone just tell me this isn't that weird?
i told my mom to get me rice cakes right, but they didn't have the flavor i wanted so she just didn't get any??? i told her that if they don't have the kind i want to get another flavor but noooooo. she doesn't fucking listen. now I've locked myself in my room and im sobbing lmao. i know I'm overreacting but fuck i just wanted my rice cakes.
life is great y'all.
[Rant/Rave] WAWA pumpkin 🎃 spice coffee ☕️
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Thu Sep 7 16:53:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yqshb/wawa_pumpkin_spice_coffee/
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0 calories and honestly great flavor!!! I added a splash of non fat vanilla creamer (30 cals a tbsp), I think I added about 2 but counted it as 90 cals ( who else wishes they could carry measuring spoons on the daily 😹) and Splenda, tastes like pumpkin pie 🙌
[Discussion] Can we talking about fasting and the "detox"?
/u/annabear [F | 5'7" | CW:258.6lbs | -8.2]
Created: Thu Sep 7 16:51:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yqs1a/can_we_talking_about_fasting_and_the_detox/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] surprise except it's not a surprise [dumb rant]
/u/bellexy [5'8 |GW 118 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 7 16:38:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yqpdf/surprise_except_its_not_a_surprise_dumb_rant/
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[removed]
[Discussion] How do you differ from the "stereotypical" ED sufferer?
/u/awayawaydown [c: 17.2 | g: 16.3]
Created: Thu Sep 7 16:28:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yqn27/how_do_you_differ_from_the_stereotypical_ed/
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I don't hate myself. While there are parts of my body I wish were different, I don't literally hate my body. I think I look pretty good most of the time. I just want to be very underweight - which is an unhealthy desire. I think there is an element of OCD/control involved in my situation. Maybe I'm depressed, but I don't think so at the moment? I don't always catch on when I'm really in bad shape, though.
All the stores in my area stopped selling my fave "Green Giant Chipotle Harvest" saute freezer pack so I made my own (just add garlic/paprika/lime/chipotle to cook)
/u/mildolconf [5'9" | 134.2 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 7 16:22:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yqlw9/all_the_stores_in_my_area_stopped_selling_my_fave/
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https://i.redd.it/07vz2bkrdjkz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Trader Joe's Everything but the Bagel Seasoning
/u/fasting-glitter
Created: Thu Sep 7 16:02:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yqhhz/trader_joes_everything_but_the_bagel_seasoning/
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Oh my GOD.
I love this stuff. It makes slices of cucumber and radish so indulgent.
Does anyone else use this? How do you like to eat it?
[Rant/Rave] i just ate lunch and i feel so so fat.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 7 15:40:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yqcki/i_just_ate_lunch_and_i_feel_so_so_fat/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] "How do you have disordered eating but still eat at a buffet?"
/u/CandidTriceratops [ 5'5'' | 208.8 | 34.8 | -17lbs | M]
Created: Thu Sep 7 15:26:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yq9as/how_do_you_have_disordered_eating_but_still_eat/
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Because I restricted extra all week so that I could log the buffet as 2000 calories even though I know I can't eat that much in 1 sitting and still lose an estimated 4lbs in 1 week. 🙃 Even though I "eat" it's still meticulously counted out so that I never eat above 500cal a day.
[Other] Note to myself
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'3"|110| 25F]
Created: Thu Sep 7 15:12:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yq6bj/note_to_myself/
---
Listen
You don't need a magical, life changing euphoric or tragic reason or event to recover. Maybe one day you wake up in the throes of another guilt trip and thousand apologies to your body and you think I can't stay on this train any longer or I will die. Physically who knows but emotionally yeah fuck yeah I will.
I see it already the effects it will have on me years later and shit, who even thought I would dream about the later years when all I can see was surviving today--in the right here, right now moment? But I wanna keep living and be better. I'm fed up with living a double life. The high after a binge and the guilt after a purge isn't worth it--isn't worth being "skinny enough" and that excuse I tell myself all the time: "I'm far too gone. Look at me." Fuck that noise.
"This action will have consequences."
EDs can rob us of our control mechanisms, our ability to cope but even in these restricted prisons we have some semblance of choice or how we react to it. I'm running away from here.
My mind and body needs to heal. I'm fucking fed up--the self hate, the nagging competition in my head, the thought that maybe one day I'll be ok dropping dead from a stroke or seizure or shit.
My body is tired. The twitching, chest pain, weakness, losing my fucking color, the teeth pain, and the ever looming possibility of a grand mal. Fuuuuck.
I'm not coming back here and I sure as hell am not going back to rehab. I have another chance to live and damn I want to--travel everywhere, see everything, learn all the things and feel every ounce of emotion I can fit into my 5'4" fucking frame.
It's going to be hard and fuck it I don't love myself enough and I'm terrified and these are the days I should expect fuckups and nagging fears (hello irrational fears and bad decisions ahoy)... but fuck it I'm so done.
A year from now I hope you've beaten this babadook you've struggled with for seven fucking years. I hope you're happy and unashamedly so with an open heart, open mind, battle scars and all.
-me lmao
Lost 7 lbs in 3 weeks so I treated myself. Got a case of Coke Zero Vanilla!!
/u/Manko_Mochi [5'2" | CW:131 lbs | -4 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Sep 7 14:46:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yq0a9/lost_7_lbs_in_3_weeks_so_i_treated_myself_got_a/
---
https://i.redd.it/3cg6e2wjwikz.jpg
[Discussion] Thinspo on Netflix
/u/fasting-glitter
Created: Thu Sep 7 14:16:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ypt27/thinspo_on_netflix/
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After many months of secretly following this sub, I decided to make an anon so I can find some needed support. So, hi..
What are you watching on Netflix? I've been watching Girlfriend's Guide to Divorce on Netflix lately. It's *incredible* for thinspo. All the women are rich, skinny, and hardly eat.
Today will be spent binge watching this show, vaping some White Widow, and starving myself until my boyfriend gets home from work.
[Other] Anybody else ever b/p at work?
/u/AntioxidantOpium [5'9" | 96lbs | 14.3 BMI | -70lbs | F]
Created: Thu Sep 7 13:53:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ypnox/anybody_else_ever_bp_at_work/
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I'm sososo stressed today. Idk why, but I also work an office job with walls in between cubicles and I've been binging and purging in the public restroom. I'm such a piece of trash lowlife, and I have four more hours left of my shift.
Seriously, who does this? Have I really sank so low??
Yes.
we dated for five months and then he ghosted me
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 7 13:16:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ypf1u/we_dated_for_five_months_and_then_he_ghosted_me/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I haven't eaten in 70 hours!
/u/Stay__Hungry [5'6.5" | CW 128.4 lbs | GW 105 lbs | -25.6 lbs]
Created: Thu Sep 7 12:14:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yp0gv/i_havent_eaten_in_70_hours/
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So I feel like I have no one to really tell this to: I haven't eaten in 70 hours! I don't feel dizzy or nauseous or light-headed. My heart isn't racing. I actually have energy! I'm not even thinking about food. I normally only go without food for 48 hours at a time because any longer and I feel like I've been hit by a truck, but 70 hours!
I feel so unstoppable. I wish I could brag about it without raising concern.
[Rant/Rave] How to lose fat in my ribs
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 7 11:54:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yovtj/how_to_lose_fat_in_my_ribs/
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[removed]
[Discussion] I wish I didn't have a physical body
/u/acidfairy [5'4" | CW: 133 | GW: 115 | -45 | 24F]
Created: Thu Sep 7 11:49:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6youg2/i_wish_i_didnt_have_a_physical_body/
---
I wish I was just a floating, bodyless entity. No pain and no appearance to worry about. Does anyone else feel this way?
[Intro] After a 4 month 30 lb weight gain binge, I'm panicking. I have to meet my boyfriends family in 6 weeks :(
/u/Von_toilet_tron
Created: Thu Sep 7 11:16:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yomqo/after_a_4_month_30_lb_weight_gain_binge_im/
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So, lots of bad shit happened in my life and I gained 30 lbs. Luckily, my clothes still fit, but I do look like a stuffed sausage.
I'm so ashamed of my body and also afraid that his family will make fun of me internally and also when I leave (for being the fat girl). His brother is super into working out ect, and his girlfriend is tiny and adorable. Then, there's 5'10" me, lumbering around.
I wasn't always this big, I used to be a size 2 at 112 lbs. A bunch of horrible life events happened one after the other , and I let myself go. I gained a lot of weight, met my boyfrend, and then gained even more.
I know he loves me and finds me attractive (tmi, but he gets boners from looking at me sometimes lol) but I'm worried he's secretly a little bummed/embarrassed of me. I'm not looking for an "oh girl no he's not" advice thread here, I just want to vent. This is how I feel about it :/
I've been heavily restricting to about 400 calories a* day for the past week...it's been easy to keep it off. Haven't been known to yoyo diet, even after gaining all that weight. It happened as a direct result of me looking for a coping mechanism, and it happened before I could see it on myself.
That's my problem now. I have always looked in the mirror and seen the same size person, whether I was underweight, overweight, or where I am now. I've always hated the same parts, seen the same flaws, ect. I can tell my clothes are fitting looser but...it's just not registering with my brain that I'm losing weight (even though I literally have to be, I'm weighing my food with a food scale and being super precise about it). So fucking frustrating. Hope I can lose at least 15 lbs before I meet them :/
[Thinspo] Thinspo for you.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Thu Sep 7 11:01:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yoj03/thinspo_for_you/
---
https://i.redd.it/3celcsmeshkz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] So, I've unintentionally been ingesting 400+ calories, daily for a year.
/u/RainyDayDaydream [5'7 | GW: Air | Lady]
Created: Thu Sep 7 09:38:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ynzki/so_ive_unintentionally_been_ingesting_400/
---
I dont need to count the calories from my sweetner in my tea and coffee, right?! Its just sweetener, sweetener doesn't have a lot of calories in it. Plus, this brand is so *cheap.*
The brand of sweetener I've been using for a year plus is 21 calories per stick. I use 3 per cup of tea/coffee. Meaning, about 65 cals *per cup.* I drink up to 10 cups of tea/coffee per day.
I haven't calorie counted or anything in about 3 weeks. Somehow getting a job and being overworked from lack of staff at my new work, I stopped. Lost intrest for awhile.
But yesterday I saw my weight- not intentionally and since I last saw my weight I'd gained 2kgs (Like...5 pounds?). I thought I was in the underweight category for my height, since everyone goes on that I'm '*so skinny* and that I *never eat.* Yeah, coz apparently I've been drinking all of my fucking calories on top of eating 1000-1200 (I think) a day.
Well, now that gain isn't so massive and I've realised the cause of the gain- I'm back on track. Knowing my weight meant I could accurately work out my BMR and now I can stick to it and loose the 4 or so kgs I want to get rid of to get to the body I want.
So in a sense I'm glad I found out, since now I can get to where I need to be faster. I swapped the brand of sweetener that I use to one that is 1-2 cals per stick. And I'll be tracking my drinks now. I sometimes wonder if I'm even sick, since I just blindly overlooked the calories in my sweetener for so long. Maybe because it was in kilojoules and not calories that I didnt bother to do a conversion.
Oh, and apparently I'm shorter than I thought I was. Hah.
[Discussion] What is your absolute favorite vegetable?
/u/awayawaydown [c: 17.2 | g: 16.3]
Created: Thu Sep 7 09:36:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ynz1r/what_is_your_absolute_favorite_vegetable/
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What vegetable is your number one? Lately I've been on a cauliflower kick and am really digging it. I love the taste of avocados too, but they are expensive and there's quite a caloric hit - and I kind of don't really consider them a vegetable...
[Discussion] competing with friends?
/u/Rylalei [5'7" | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 7 09:27:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ynx0q/competing_with_friends/
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i know i'm not alone in feeling like i'm always competing with others to see who's "thinnest" or who can "lose the most", but lately two of my friends have gotten into calorie counting to try and lose weight and i feel like i have to compete with them. i don't want to grow resentful over this... what should i do?
Well I'm at the heaviest weight I've ever been so It's time to restrict
/u/starvingarthoe
Created: Thu Sep 7 08:38:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ynlpo/well_im_at_the_heaviest_weight_ive_ever_been_so/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Someone said I "must be naturally skinny"!!
/u/MaybeUmaThurman
Created: Thu Sep 7 07:32:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yn7z8/someone_said_i_must_be_naturally_skinny/
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A guy who I work with sat with my on my break and we were talking about our favourite things to put on pizzas. He said "I bet you can eat all the time, you're so skinny, I know girls who are really fit and healthy but they're not skinny like you." I nearly died on the spot, obviously comparing me to other girls wasn't really ideal but I was so happy!!
[Goal] Fingers Crossed 🤞🏻
/u/ilostmynarwhal [5'8" | 129 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 7 07:07:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yn353/fingers_crossed/
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https://i.redd.it/yla03bhsmgkz.jpg
[Help] Scale confusion?!!
/u/nervous_nandu [5'4" | CW 128 | LW: 98 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 7 06:49:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ymzn5/scale_confusion/
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Ok sorry for the near-daily posts here lately but serious question: like most of us, when i weigh myself in the morning i do it 4-5 times to make sure its accurate. BUT i never know if i should take the highest, lowest or average weight. This morning it went really crazy and read 129.8, then 128.4, 128.8, then 127.8??? which one am i supposed to believe????
[Discussion] What SSRI/antidepressant do you take?
/u/littlebabychicken [5' 5" | CW: 119 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 7 06:31:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ymwex/what_ssriantidepressant_do_you_take/
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Tomorrow I have an appointment with my psychiatrist and I'd like to discuss the possibility of changing my meds with him. Right now I'm taking Klonopin and Cymbalta.
The Klonopin really helps me, but I'm not thrilled about the Cymbalta. I like that it suppresses my appetite, but my main issue is the low libido/sensitivity. I know this is a common problem with SSRIs, but I'm getting really fucking tired of it.
Over the past 2 years I've taken:
* Lexapro/Wellbutrin combo
* Effexor
* Paxil
* Prozac
I have had the low libido issue with every medication I've taken so far.
I know there is one on the market that is supposed to address this issue (Viibryd) but it's too expensive.
Can anyone recommend any meds I can suggest tomorrow? Any info would be greatly appreciated. :)
[Other] I finished a few bacon and cheese breadsticks for dinner yesterday and my (pregnant) sister begs me to go to the store with her.
/u/IsAFailure [5'6 | 128lbs | 20.74 | M]
Created: Thu Sep 7 06:27:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ymvoa/i_finished_a_few_bacon_and_cheese_breadsticks_for/
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https://i.redd.it/gk65i8ikfgkz.jpg
[Discussion] September 7th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 7 06:23:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ymuyo/september_7th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What is the newest thing you're wearing right now?
Mine is probably a ring, but idk if that counts, so I'll go with my [rad cactus socks!](https://imgur.com/a/Z5VTR)
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support September 07, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Sep 7 06:11:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ymsrv/weekly_emotional_support_september_07_2017/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! September 07, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Sep 7 06:10:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ymsn1/daily_food_diary_september_07_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 07, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] That super skinny friend...
/u/atelierreverie [5'5" | CW: 148 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 7 06:02:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ymrd8/that_super_skinny_friend/
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Most of my friends are average->overweight, but this one girl is basically everything I would want to be... Photogenic, great sense of style, etc. And of course she's my height but probably 30-40 lbs lighter. I wish I wouldn't compare myself so much to her, but I can't help it. Anytime I hang out with her I refuse to eat much, offer to split plates, and dream about if we were both her weight and could be like this dynamic hot chick duo. It's so draining being around real life thinspo. 😫
Is this caused by my ED?
/u/white_tshirt
Created: Thu Sep 7 05:02:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ymhjk/is_this_caused_by_my_ed/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] just a YT ad that does it for me
/u/misterrazorz [159 | 44.4 | 17.9 | a]
Created: Thu Sep 7 03:11:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ym2nn/just_a_yt_ad_that_does_it_for_me/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eCjD3r1dWg
[Rant/Rave] Not in a good place right now...
/u/french__toasted [5'9" | CW:too much | GW: 115 | -13 | F21]
Created: Thu Sep 7 02:30:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ylxq7/not_in_a_good_place_right_now/
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I've been binging and purging recently and not small b/ps either, they are full blown affairs with heaps of food and several purging sessions. I'm just feeling really out of control and after these sessions I feel absolutely miserable.
I wish I had someone to talk to but all my friends are over 2000 miles away, plus I know they would freak if they knew what I was going through. I feel like if I could just have someone who cares about me to talk to in person I wouldn't be in this bad of state. Like I don't even need to talk about what I'm going through. I just need a friend to give me a hug or something but I don't have any here because of my stupid work.
I just wish I was skinny.
[Rant/Rave] Can't stop eating...
/u/sd_tendencies
Created: Thu Sep 7 01:51:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ylt22/cant_stop_eating/
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I've been home for a month now and have another month to go til I move back to school. At first it was great! Home cooked food, except I had to eat three meals a day.. but even though I was eating that + snacks, I was still losing weight! Amazing.
But then it started to go up again and it's literally because I just?? Can't stop eating. It's some combination of boredom and just the ease of getting food at home but I mean though I haven't gained that much more (2-3 pounds?), I feel like a bunch of my muscle has dissolved into fat. It might be partially bloating (re:period) but I mean even at my worst bloating, it's not as much as it is now.
Like. I don't know. I don't care as much about numbers right now as much as how I look? Idk if that makes sense lol but yeah.
So I guess... any tips on how to just stop eating? Not meals but snacking... meals honestly aren't that bad -- the food we eat is super healthy. It's just all these snacks and I can't stop eating them omg
[Tip] If you feel shit today
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Thu Sep 7 00:13:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ylfzu/if_you_feel_shit_today/
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[removed]
[Other] I feel like I'm just senselessly floating through time
/u/iloveitosusumu [5'9" | CW166 | GW120 | BMI24.07 | 19F]
Created: Wed Sep 6 23:03:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yl5fc/i_feel_like_im_just_senselessly_floating_through/
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Like nothing really matters. Whether my number on my scale goes up or down I just look at it and think "huh, alright" and go back to whatever I need to be doing. I overeat without purpose and without thinking or I fast without purpose and without thinking. I don't get joy out of either but I do them anyway. I have a big stack of skinny-me clothes at the back of my closet and whenever I get dressed all I can think is "wouldn't it be fucked up if you died before ever wearing those? isn't that fucked?" but it never does anything to get me into gear.
Every day blurs together, I have no concept of time. I think I would remember better if I was losing, but I don't have any self-control or concept of long-term effort and even though I've always been sick of feeling stuck in the sack of fat and organs that is my body, I never change it. I will never be satisfied with food, I will always want more, and I don't even get to feel good when I get it. I'm wasting everybody's time by not being thin and nice to look at. I want so badly to want to change.
[Rant/Rave] This is my favorite sub
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 6 22:40:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yl1vg/this_is_my_favorite_sub/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Dizziness, low blood pressure, and fatigue
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 96ishlbs | 20F]
Created: Wed Sep 6 21:48:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ykt4w/dizziness_low_blood_pressure_and_fatigue/
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Guys, I don't even consider my total caloric intake each day to be super low, and yet I feel like I'm on the verge of fainting at pretty much all times.
I'm probably averaging 600 cals a day currently, and yet I feel like I'm fasting. My finger nails are blue. My chest hurts. I am constantly tired.
It's crazy that my body is reacting this badly to restriction. I wish I could just restrict without this many problems. I've never fainted before but if I keep restricting like this I know that my body is just going to give out.
What pisses me off the most is that I'm not even super underweight yet. Ugh.
[Discussion] [Other] DAE have a secret desire to become an actor or model?
/u/letstryforkarma
Created: Wed Sep 6 21:26:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ykp4i/other_dae_have_a_secret_desire_to_become_an_actor/
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Ever since i was a kid I've had a secret desire to become an actor. Maybe it was how movies influenced me. I think that i really respected the ability and loved movies and wished to be a part of something that moved people when they watched it.
.....or maybe I've had ED since early childhood and I've just only wanted to be rugged and handsome.... I can't tell which it is....
If you were to ask me if i wanted to be a famous actor right now, I'd say heck no. I hate the way i look. It'd be terrifying to have images of me all over the internet..... I have been avoiding pictures for 2.5 years now. Hardly mentally stable enough to work in an industry where looks are everything.
I've also always had excuses for why i could never do it. Before it was acne and weight. Then it was more stuff.
Is it ironic that i wish i had the looks for a career in something i feel i would be passionate about?.... Or does it make perfect sense that i want that?... And it's all caused by my ED and body image issues, making me wish i was good looking **enough** to be in films..
I can't tell... But i do know I've always wished i could pursue it.
When i was at my lowest weight (only 20 lbs away from my UGW), i was making more mental preparations to get into acting. Had what seemed like a stable career and finally felt it was time to get into a hobby i had always wanted to try my hand at. Sure i felt my attractiveness still needed some work... But at least it it was no longer weight-related.
But lmfoa.... I ended up losing that job and went into a 2 year. 85 lb, unemployed, codependent relationship fueled binge. So i can keep dreaming. Currently back "down" to 60lbs from UGW...... :/
**TLDR**: how many of you have/had a huge desire to become actors or models... Could that desire just be caused by ED?... Just a manifestation of hating our bodies/appearances and wishing we looked more like the top 5% on TV and magazines? Has my childhood dream just been a mental instability brought on by early childhood exposure to succesful marketing campains...?
[Rant/Rave] Krispy Kreme :(
/u/tacehtelle [5"7 | 119.5 | 18.65 :( | 6.5 lbs :( | Female]
Created: Wed Sep 6 21:18:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yknqd/krispy_kreme/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Voice keeps telling me I don't deserve to eat
/u/nycthrowaway51
Created: Wed Sep 6 21:17:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yknlq/voice_keeps_telling_me_i_dont_deserve_to_eat/
---
Hi all, I guess I'm back. Sorry if this doesn't belong here first of all. I tried posting this in r/depression but it got no replies.
I've always had a negative inner voice, but it was usually never too bad. Lately though, it's been almost constant. It criticizes me for every small flaw or mistake I make, tells me no one likes or cares about me, and tells me I don't deserve to eat. The thing is, it's honestly kind of true. I'm incredibly awkward and unconfident. I only have one friend at school, and I don't even know why they're friends with me.
Another big reason why I don't want to eat are the unwanted thoughts I have. Sometimes they're so troubling that I just don't feel like eating afterwards.
I honestly want to eat normally. My fasting from before has slowed my growth enough for my doctor to notice, and now my parents are trying to figure out the cause. It feels selfish and stupid to do this despite wasting my parents time and money, and it makes me feel weird and messed up compared to everyone else. But when I try to eat normally, the voice and bad thoughts make me not want to eat again. I've tried to ignore them, but it's tiring to do that for one day, let alone a week. I'm sorry if this has been disorganized or if it doesn't make much sense, I just feel sort of helpless.
[Discussion] are you a casual smoker or a chain smoker?
/u/witchhouseprincess [5'3" | 94 lbs | 16.1 | 31 lbs | witch]
Created: Wed Sep 6 20:52:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ykino/are_you_a_casual_smoker_or_a_chain_smoker/
---
im a bit of both. depends how im feeling.
[Rant/Rave] I hate Mondays.
/u/Rubywednesdayyy
Created: Wed Sep 6 20:52:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ykinb/i_hate_mondays/
---
http://imgur.com/9TcpDNH
[Tip] how i got my binges under control
/u/swagcat9000 [5'5" | 131 lbs | 21.8 | -37 | M |]
Created: Wed Sep 6 20:51:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ykifu/how_i_got_my_binges_under_control/
---
So I've always been a meticulous planner, and the other day, I realized that it makes sense.
Binges are out of control eating.
By planning a binge down to quantities, prices, times, locations, and dates, I control my binge.
For some reason, controlling my out-of-control eating puts the out-of-controlness back under control, and now I binge when I want.
(also, planned binges are so much better than random shit I find in the kitchen! because it's all stuff i like and not just 5 pieces of bread in a row and an obnoxious amount of straight hot cocoa mix)
Can anyone relate?
[Discussion] ED Guys
/u/jackbr0wn66
Created: Wed Sep 6 20:30:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ykel4/ed_guys/
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So I’m a 13 y/o guy and I haven’t been diagnosed, but probably have an ED. I’m just wondering if there are any other guys to talk to. If you’re a guy, idc about age, just comment please. Thank you! :)
[Rant/Rave] Just binged!!
/u/eugibar
Created: Wed Sep 6 19:40:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yk4oy/just_binged/
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[removed]
my body just purged what I ate for dinner all in my moms car
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 6 19:38:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yk49s/my_body_just_purged_what_i_ate_for_dinner_all_in/
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[removed]
[Help] "its not like you have a problem"
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 6 19:35:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yk3ls/its_not_like_you_have_a_problem/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] What is it that causes some people to gain an unreasonably unhealthy amount of weight in recovery? (Elle Tayla)
/u/wildstylemeth0d
Created: Wed Sep 6 19:31:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yk2rb/what_is_it_that_causes_some_people_to_gain_an/
---
I first noticed this in [Brittany Burgunder](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaFi4gE92i8&t=104s), she was severely anorexic and went down to 56 pounds, she then "Recovered" and gained almost 200 pounds, becoming extremely obese. Now she is at a healthy weight and purportedly now fully recovered.
I most recently saw this in [Elle Tayla](https://www.instagram.com/p/BWs6uZoAklX/?hl=en&taken-by=elletayla). She was severely anorexic and so unhealthy that she had to have fingers amputated. She then 'recovered" and was being a Freelee raw vegan follower and had a channel dedicated to how raw-til-4 was helping her recover. She was still *very* thin. Now, she gained alot of weight, in a very short period of time. And her posts are how she's finally confident with her body, how she's finally happy and finally has a healthy relationship with food.
What's going on here? My guess is that she's still disordered. At first, using a raw-til-4 raw vegan obsession to manage the obsessive thoughts about food, channeling it into that avenue. Now, it's a different channeling, one probably controlled by bingeing. I'm speculating, but this is my perception. I do know that after I "recovered" the first time I too gained some weight, though not nearly as much as this, due to me drinking alcohol a lot more and generally eating a whole lot more. But to recover this fast and to suddenly be so accepting of being in a dare-I-say fat body? I just don't buy it. Does anyone else have any thoughts?
[Thinspo] My new favorite source of thinspo.
/u/axxx26
Created: Wed Sep 6 19:18:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yk078/my_new_favorite_source_of_thinspo/
---
https://instagram.com/p/BYmOygiBY5P/
[Other] any thinspo/eating disorder discords??
/u/enoshima-junkochan
Created: Wed Sep 6 18:48:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yju7f/any_thinspoeating_disorder_discords/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] DAE meticulously examine their body
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 6 18:46:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yjtsf/dae_meticulously_examine_their_body/
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[deleted]
[Other] Ok so is it wrong for me to be mad at this? She knows I struggle with my eating, I don't know how to take it.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 6 18:41:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yjsvi/ok_so_is_it_wrong_for_me_to_be_mad_at_this_she/
---
https://i.redd.it/507tjpkmxckz.jpg
[Intro] Intro/restriction
/u/Anghoul
Created: Wed Sep 6 18:03:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yjkxt/introrestriction/
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Hi! I can't flag because I'm on mobile, I apologize.
So I'm posting as motivation to start restricting again, I tried recovering and maintaining a healthy weight; but I don't like it- I feel disgusting and wrong.
I'm pretty good at focusing on it once I'm on a streak for about three days. I'd like to lose about 10-12lbs.
Overall I'm pretty healthy, I think. Though last time I had fainted a few times, I was never inpatient. I get even calmer when I'm smaller and restrictive.
I've always been a perfectionist, emotionally detached and odd person. I remember I was about 6 years old when I first tried restricting. I always obsessed about detail, knowing how things were made, etc.
My mom was a feeder so I've been obese-all throughout my childhood and early teens, she didn't care about doctors warning her of my health. My resting weight is 130 and I look pretty slim then, but I prefer 127-129.
I had a relatively easy time losing weight and changing my habits which I'm lucky for, but this time I'd like to try out being a part of a community and meet some people who I have common grounds with, I'm content being alone and doing my thing but I think it might make for an interesting change.
So yeah. Hi. I like horror, fall, human biology, urbex, fashion, outdoor activities and architecture; among other things. I have a lotta hobbies and I dunno, it'd be cool talking to some people with similar interests and goals. Tell me about yourself and a bit about your disorder/what type it is.
[Rant/Rave] why does eating normally have to lead to a binge
/u/7376549
Created: Wed Sep 6 17:02:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yj8el/why_does_eating_normally_have_to_lead_to_a_binge/
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i managed three.. okay, two and a half normalish sized meals today, and i got up late, so i feel like not having a proper breakfast was nbd.
so.. why exactly couldn't i just have left it at that? why am i now in the kitchen making toast that i don't need, & raiding the cupboards for anything & everything i can possibly get my chubby little hands on?
kill me, please. just kill me.
[Other] my fruit infused water (strawberry, grapefruit, lemon)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 6 16:49:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yj5i3/my_fruit_infused_water_strawberry_grapefruit_lemon/
---
https://i.redd.it/oomuxqtjdckz.jpg
[Tip] A guide to all things Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Lattes
/u/descendingscales [5'7 | 150 | 23.5 | -60lbs | F]
Created: Wed Sep 6 16:45:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yj4mf/a_guide_to_all_things_starbucks_pumpkin_spice/
---
It's that time of year again as Pumpkin Spice Lattes are trickling onto the scene and I know so many people are craving them and feeling hopeless so I figured I'd give you all the tricks on how to have the seasonal beverage you know and love for very few calories! :)
Each pump of pumpkin spice sauce is ~33 calories. For hot beverages, the default number of pumps for a tall is 3, grande is 4, and venti is 5. For iced, venti is 6. Reducing pumps is the easiest way to reduce calories in your pumpkin spice drink. The second easiest way to cut calories is to take off the whipped cream. It adds like 80-100 calories to every drink. Finally, at 60 calories per cup, ordering almond milk is the least caloric way of ordering any milk-based drink at Starbucks (compared to 80/cup in coconut or nonfat).
So, here are some PSL alternatives to beat those cravings! The calorie counts are for tall, grande, venti with standard pumps, but you can always adjust as needed :) I've been told it doesn't make a huge difference in flavor. Subtract 33 for each pump reduced.
**Hot drinks:**
*Pumpkin spice latte with no whipped cream*
- Almond: 180, 230, 300
- Nonfat/coconut: 200, 260, 336
*Misto (aka Cafe au Lait)*
- Almond: 140, 180, 220
- Nonfat/coconut: 160, 200, 250
*Hot coffee/americano with pumpkin spice (no milk):* 100, 133, 166
**Iced drinks:**
*Iced pumpkin spice latte with no whipped cream*
- Almond: 150, 200, 300
- Nonfat/coconut: 170, 225, 330
*Iced coffee/cold brew/americano with pumpkin spice, no classic:* 100, 133, 200
**Bonus:** a coffee light Frappuccino with almond milk and one pump of pumpkin is 133 calories for a grande!
I left the addition of milk out of the iced coffee/hot coffee because pumpkin spice syrup is mostly condensed milk and most people don't really need milk in addition, but adding your own nonfat or asking for light almond is always a safe bet that you can more or less control calorie amounts.
If you're fasting or looking for ultra low calorie, pumpkin spice topping is essentially the same as pumpkin pie spice and has no added sugar. It's delicious and gives just a little extra fall flavor in a very low calorie way to a black hot/iced coffee. It's also great steamed into cappuccino milk! That's how I get my pumpkin spice fix as a vegan :) I'm personally repulsed by the sugar free cinnamon dolce syrup but if it's your thing, it can add sweetness with a little fall flair for no extra calories!
Let me know if you have questions about any other Starbucks drinks! I know a lot of the calories, and if not I can check the next time I'm at work for you guys!
Last but not least, a few full calorie lattes will not kill your progress. A hundred extra calories here or there will not make or break your entire season. If you're going to spend $4 on a drink you might as well enjoy it, and if you don't enjoy drinks with different milks or fewer pumps or no whipped cream, you have no reason to change them :) everything will even out in the end.
[Rant/Rave] I feel like my body reverts to being fat when I'm not looking
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 6 16:14:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yiy4m/i_feel_like_my_body_reverts_to_being_fat_when_im/
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Just looking for some support and to know I'm not alone in this, I guess, but...
I used to be able to tell when I'd gained or lost even half a pound. I could see that there's a little more collarbone and rib, or a little less chest bone, or whatever. But now I have absolutely no idea. I don't weigh but I do CICO, and I should have lost ~5 in the last three weeks (putting me around 98 pounds, since I think I gained a little on holiday). But I feel like I look like I *gained* five pounds in that period of time! People's arms and legs still look so much thinner than mine. And nobody has commented that I look thinner even though that should put me at a pretty low BMI, so I feel like nobody else can see it either.
And on the flip side, I have to go to the doctor's but I'm terrified that either 1) the weight loss will register and I'll have to have a discussion about my eating habits or 2) it won't, and then I'll wonder how I deluded myself into thinking I actually lost weight.
Things are complicated. But on the bright side, my gym finally opened again after two weeks of delays, so I can at least make myself feel better by exercising until I feel better.
[Rant/Rave] No Energy Or Will To Live From Restriction Or Depression. Decisions, Decisions
/u/calmlyranting [5'5 | Fluctuating | F]
Created: Wed Sep 6 16:14:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yiy32/no_energy_or_will_to_live_from_restriction_or/
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So I thought I would do recovery but it doesn't seem like that's happening anymore. So far I've gained back all the weight, but now my depressive voices are back. Considering how much I screwed up in the past week it's no surprise. I've been late for all my classes so far and have been embarrassingly stupid for most of the time I'm there. All I can think about is how I'm going to fail this course and that I gave up the only thing I'm good at and now I'll never have it back. I know this is catastrophtizing on a major scale, but I still don't feel like I can bounce back from this.
(Mods flair rant for mobile plz)
[Thinspo] Beautiful. A little thinspo for you guys.
/u/Manko_Mochi [5'2" | CW:131 lbs | -4 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Sep 6 16:05:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yiw38/beautiful_a_little_thinspo_for_you_guys/
---
https://i.redd.it/8qkiu95q5ckz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Back at it again lmao
/u/yssjfs [5'4 | 116.4|19.9(COUNTS AS BEING IN THE TEENS)| Lost: 44|GW:☠]
Created: Wed Sep 6 16:03:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yivsc/back_at_it_again_lmao/
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I don't think I'm ever going to get better, I don't want to. I gained a lot of weight since the last time I was active here... like... a lot.
I feel like I don't deserve to exist anymore. I worked so fucking hard and feel like I've ruined everything. I haven't slept in two days because I'm taking EC stacks around the clock. I'm on hour 52 of my fast. I feel terrible but also really clear? But also don't even want to leave my house because then people will see that I'm back to being a fat lazy fuck.
Aaaaaanyway, missed ya guys and gals ❤️❤️❤️, looks like I'll always end up back in this sub ✌️... also if anyone has any suggestions for substitutes for EC stacking I'm all ears. The anxiety it gives me is unbearable but better than eating I guess.
[Other] Grocery haul - college dorm friendly edition ☺️
/u/lustlemon
Created: Wed Sep 6 15:42:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yir3q/grocery_haul_college_dorm_friendly_edition/
---
https://i.redd.it/c8h14cup1ckz.jpg
[Tip] I'll still be fat but at least I'll have pretty eyelids
/u/elliebearrrr [F21|5'6"|HW:190 SW:175 CW:148]
Created: Wed Sep 6 15:27:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yinn5/ill_still_be_fat_but_at_least_ill_have_pretty/
---
A while ago I decided on little motivational treats to buy for myself when I reach certain weight goals - I just remembered that next on my list is the Urban Decay Naked Heat palette, and I'm only 3lbs away
guys
I am so bloody excited to have me some spicy eyelids !!!!!!!!!!
Honestly though, having these non-food presents as something to aim for has weirdly made me feel less shit about the numbers
Also on a slightly different note I haven't binged in exactly a week! I haven't had a single day where I've just thought fuck it I'm fat anyway might as well enjoy it and ended up eating the entire world and then putting myself through lax hell lol so I'm proud of me!!! I've been at least sub-700 every day (most days under 500) and I'm just so chuffed I'm on track again now I'm back alone in my own house
Hope you're all doing okay, lots of love :)
[Intro] I'm tired of feeling like this, so I'm giving in.
/u/abbymakeup [5'1.5" | 124.6 | 23.2 | UGW: 88 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 6 15:23:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yimug/im_tired_of_feeling_like_this_so_im_giving_in/
---
Deleting and retyping out this post on my pc instead of my phone. Today I binged pretty fucking hard. I've been binging anywhere from 2000-3500 calories a day for a few weeks. I gained back all the weight I lost and probably weight like 129 right now. I feel so fucking defeated. My boyfriend's family is making me go out to eat with them tonight even though I already binged all fucking day. I don't wanna go because every time they always comment on how tiny I am when I'm almost fucking overweight and if I don't finish my meal the pretty much shame me and say I'm too small to not finish my meal. I'm so done with it guys. So I guess now I'm finally introducing myself and joining the community here. I miss being 90 lbs. I can't believe I used to think I was fat back then.
Anyway yeah I guess this is an intro post. Hope you guys don't hate me :(
[Other] Finally! I found it!
/u/ilovehotdogsforever [5'6| ~145 | GW: 112 |24y/o | F]
Created: Wed Sep 6 14:43:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yidtc/finally_i_found_it/
---
https://imgur.com/a/CCV3P
[Help] Ice cream date help
/u/skinnifat [5'4" | CW: 125 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 6 14:17:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yi7sk/ice_cream_date_help/
---
I'm going on an ice cream date with my boyfriend tonight. I'm (sorta) not worried about the calories because I've been fasting and restricting like a champ lately but I'm scared that normal ice cream is going to wreckkkkk my stomach as in I'm gonna have to sprint to the closest restroom or have serious bloat or something.
I love ice cream. I want to be able to enjoy small amounts of normal ice cream every once in awhile. But I don't wanna shit my pants in public!!!!
Any advice? Does anyone else struggle with stuff like this?
[Rant/Rave] Not sure how to feel
/u/EatMyInsides
Created: Wed Sep 6 14:12:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yi6k4/not_sure_how_to_feel/
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Sooo... I went to treatment for my eating disorder (for all the wrong reasons) and I felt a little better for 1-2 months. Now it's back, and I actually like it. The problem is that I still live with my mother, and she will not let me go even one day without food.
But here's the "title part": I'm not sure if my boyfriend isn't familiar with eating disorders, or if he thinks I'm fat. I've tested the water (actually dipped myself in it) by saying things like "this has too many calories in it", and "I need to start exercising more". But he seem to encourage it, and that makes me wonder if he thinks I'm fat or he's not aware of how eating disorders are. I'm not really complaining about him encouraging me, it's just the not knowing part that buggs me.
Anyway, sorry for this rant / rave thing.
My boyfriend wants to fast !!!
/u/iwillbesmall [5'6" | 119lbs | F25 | GW: 99]
Created: Wed Sep 6 14:10:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yi62l/my_boyfriend_wants_to_fast/
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[removed]
[Help] Lower calorie grilled cheese?
/u/CandidTriceratops [ 5'5'' | 208.8 | 34.8 | -17lbs | M]
Created: Wed Sep 6 14:08:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yi5jm/lower_calorie_grilled_cheese/
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I am having the most extreme craving for grilled cheese tonight but I have limited my calories to 400 per day because of a buffet dinner on sunday. I have the bread and cheese all figured out, but I'm not sure how to grill it without using butter or something else very high in calories. I don't know if light mayonnaise works? I read that lightly brushing 1-2 tsp of oil over the bread works but the oil we have here is still very high calorie.
Any ideas for low-ish calorie grilled cheese?
[Discussion] I don't feel like I deserve to say I have an ED anymore.
/u/motenashite [5"1 | CW: 122lb | GW: 100lb | HW: 160lb | 22F]
Created: Wed Sep 6 13:40:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yhz0j/i_dont_feel_like_i_deserve_to_say_i_have_an_ed/
---
Hi. Kinda new here. Kinda an introduction post meshed with a discussion post. Been lurking here for a couple of weeks, thinking about if I wanted to say something but always ending up being too shy until recently -- I realise I don't have anyone to talk to who could really relate to me and I just wanted a space to let it out.
For all intents and purposes, I've been recovered. Probably. Maybe. I gained a lot of weight. I've lost a lot of weight. I moved to a new city to start a new job two months ago, and I started to "lose weight" normally. I eat over 1000kcal a day and under 1200kcal for the most part.
I've had a couple of binge days and I purged sometimes -- it's a stress response and usually I don't worry about it because it was always a "one time thing". I got gastritis. Doctor is worried that it is a esophageal ulcer. So I've told myself to stop purging. So I did.
This is all normal, and healthy, and normal people do this kind of stuff all the time. They're in control and I feel perfectly in control and not succumbing to my ED behaviours.
Mentally, I don't feel recovered. It feels like a relapse. I've been reading about food constantly. Watching food videos. My scales, kitchen and bathroom, are my best friends. I can't stop thinking about the inches I'll be dropping from my waist (79cm vs 71cm!! I have no one to share with about how excited I am over this) or how my hipbones are going to look, soon, because I can feel them a bit now.
But I'm healthy. But 1200 is plenty. And I don't really know what to do -- my therapist thinks I should just focus on continuing these healthy eating habits. I feel kind of crazy. Maybe I am kind of crazy, and that I'm actually healthy and it's just me seeing my ED since I've always been living with it, and it's all that I can really remember.
My boyfriend has been wonderful and encouraging of my weight loss. He likes that it's in a healthy way and that I go on runs and I do squats and weight training and he really appreciates that I've lost weight, I can tell. He's so accommodating, when we go out, he asks me, "Are there things on the menu that can fit into your diet?" So it feels like I'm doing a good job at being normal and healthy.
It's scary.
[Help] Weird lump feeling in the inside of my throat
/u/Rickticia
Created: Wed Sep 6 13:39:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yhywe/weird_lump_feeling_in_the_inside_of_my_throat/
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[removed]
[Help] Help about water weight???
/u/kaliolis [5'4 | CW: 51.1 KG | GW: 40 KG |19.4 | WL: 18.9 KG | F]
Created: Wed Sep 6 13:36:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yhy4i/help_about_water_weight/
---
Conflicted and frustrated are the two words I relate to the strongest at the moment. Having just seen my dietician and being told my I've only lost 4.4 KG in two weeks makes my heart break so much because I thought I was back to being 50 KG but instead I'm 53.6 KG. I wonder if any of you guys could assure me that my weight is actually lower than that since I did have a lot of water before coming in to see my dietician?? And I haven't been consistent with my BMs??? My ED mind is not going to take a break unless I get answers from people :-(((
[Other] what is you go-to breakfast?
/u/witchhouseprincess [5'3" | 94 lbs | 16.1 | 31 lbs | witch]
Created: Wed Sep 6 13:27:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yhvvk/what_is_you_goto_breakfast/
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mine is oatmeal and orange juice.
[Rant/Rave] I want chocolate
/u/fuckwit_charlie [5'2 | 86lbs | BMI: 17.1 (new calc). | W/L: 16lbs | F]
Created: Wed Sep 6 13:17:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yhtka/i_want_chocolate/
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[removed]
The world can't end
/u/ashirun97
Created: Wed Sep 6 13:14:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yhsvl/the_world_cant_end/
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[removed]
[Help] Smoothies?¿
/u/dancingblobfish
Created: Wed Sep 6 13:06:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yhqvu/smoothies/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE get bored of seeing the same number?
/u/nervous_nandu [5'4" | CW 128 | LW: 98 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 6 12:58:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yhoz5/dae_get_bored_of_seeing_the_same_number/
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Ok while there is still a lot of underlying self-hatred behind seeing the same number, there's also a side of me that's just bored (??) of seeing that number. Like, okay at one point I was excited to see 128 but now it's like okay I've seen this before, over it, I'm trying to see a new number that will get me excited again... Until I get bored of that number lol
[Rant/Rave] Just because I'm smallER than you doesn't mean I'm SMALL, period. [Rant]
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | SW: 130 | CW: 125 | GW: 115 | -5 lbs | 20F]
Created: Wed Sep 6 12:30:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yhi9n/just_because_im_smaller_than_you_doesnt_mean_im/
---
Sorry for no flair; I'm on mobile.
Anyone else experience discrediting of your feelings by larger, overweight people? I'm not trying to fat-shame or anything like that, but this is just what I've been dealing with lately.
I finally opened up about my ED last night with my roommate. I haven't told anyone else about it up to this point. And then she discounted my feelings, essentially calling my fears unjustified.
"Have you ever even gained weight in your LIFE?" she asked harshly.
This is coming from a 5'2, 189 lb girl. She doesn't look nearly that big--she carries it well. She's structured a lot differently than I am. For her, though, my 10-15 lb fluctuations seem like nothing, so she probably thinks I'm just petty.
But I AM capable of gaining weight, and it DOES look bad when I bounce up to the 130s, because MY BODY IS NOT BUILT TO CARRY THAT. The weight falls in terrible places. I am average now and I would like to stay that way. Don't just act like I'm unjustified in being concerned about this because I'm 50 lbs less than you. MY PROBLEMS ARE STILL REAL EVEN THOUGH I AM NOT OBESE. Uggghhhh.
This is exactly why I don't tell people shit. You think I'm "tiny" now? That just makes me want to get smaller. I'll show you tiny.
[Discussion] DAE stop exercising when going through low restriction?
/u/diet247x [5'3 | CW: 133 lbs | -22 lbs | GW: 110 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Sep 6 12:30:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yhi4b/dae_stop_exercising_when_going_through_low/
---
I went to hot yoga today after only having a latte all day and threw up. Guess I'm going to have to take a break from hot yoga until I reach my next low weight. I'm trying to lose 5 lbs because I have a feeling my bf is going to propose!!
Anyways, how do you exercise when on low restriction? Or do you just skip exercise altogether?
[Thinspo] halloween thinspo
/u/witchhouseprincess [5'3" | 94 lbs | 16.1 | 31 lbs | witch]
Created: Wed Sep 6 12:27:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yhhf1/halloween_thinspo/
---
https://i.redd.it/49qix44r2bkz.jpg
[Other] Well that worked out rather conveniently
/u/janesavage [167 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 50 kg | 18F]
Created: Wed Sep 6 12:09:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yhddb/well_that_worked_out_rather_conveniently/
---
Today's meals:
Didn't eat breakfast, as has become my custom here. I'm usually a big breakfast person, but here I can easily cut it out to feel less anxiety over the meals with family.
Lunch with the family at about 2 PM. Spaghetti with Napoletana sauce, with which I was comfortable because I'd already copied down that recipe and knew the kcal count (one of the lowest of that particular book). I had a normal portion, no seconds or second glances.
I was alone for the afternoon. Others leaving the house has always been a *huge* binge trigger for me, and even worse was the fact I was in the kitchen the whole time, making a pie for tomorrow. I did binge, but it was...okay. It was a bit odd, because of instead of just stuffing my face I thought about things and trying one of each thing. I wasn't as lost in the fugue as I usually am, and the results weren't nearly as disastrous.
So I told myself, okay, just have a very small dinner with the family. You've been standing all day, did your morning exercises, are planning to do your evening ones, you'll be fine. The binge wasn't terrible.
Then I found out that the parents are OUT FOR THE NIGHT. Which means dinner is up to us, the kids. Which means I'm not obligated to eat ANYTHING AT ALL.
💯💯👌👌
[Thinspo] weed thinspo
/u/witchhouseprincess [5'3" | 94 lbs | 16.1 | 31 lbs | witch]
Created: Wed Sep 6 11:42:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yh6pq/weed_thinspo/
---
https://i.redd.it/4tx4o0gpuakz.jpg
[Other] Had surgery this morning
/u/gettingagrip4 [5'3" | Baby Hippo | 22 | -60 | 31F]
Created: Wed Sep 6 11:40:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yh6cp/had_surgery_this_morning/
---
I took the plunge and got my boobs fixed and I'm in so much pain right now.
On the bright side, the nurse weighed me in kg's then said she'd tell me how many pounds it was. I said, "no need, with the sweatshirt and sneakers on I'm probably about 121". I was 121.2. Strange that I think that it's hilarious and is my only positive thought in my head right now.
[Rant/Rave] Recovery/relapse limbo
/u/that-bitch-ed
Created: Wed Sep 6 11:29:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yh3rv/recoveryrelapse_limbo/
---
I want to recover. But I don't want to give up the ED. But I hate how much it takes over my life and destroys everything in the process. But I don't feel like I'm worthy of the good things I'm working towards so it's ok that I'm torpedoing myself. I love losing weight because it makes me feel successful and in control and worthy but I hate losing weight because it's another sign that I'm losing control and it's very visible to others and they both see me as good at something and as a failure at the same time. I love the comments about my weight loss (and the misguided congratulations from those who don't know my history), and it makes me feel self-conscious and *seen*.
I have never loved something so much in my life, and hated it with the same passion at the same time. *Fuck you ED! Please don't leave me!*
[Discussion] Artificial sweeteners
/u/clarenceismyanimus [5'6 | too much | -42 | 37F]
Created: Wed Sep 6 11:12:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ygzv7/artificial_sweeteners/
---
I have this weird relationship with artificial sweeteners.
Me: I will not use Sweet N Low for my coffee, artificial sweeteners are ad for you.
Also Me: *drinks Cherry Coke Zero*
I forgot I bought a bag of Swerve from Whole Foods to try. Am enjoying it in my coffee now. So happy! I've never liked Stevia. Or Splenda. They both taste the same to me (very chemical-y). I'm very optimistic so far, but we'll see what the aftermath of this is. How do you guys feel about these sweeteners and what are your favorites?
[Help] Is myfitnesspal trying to trick me into gaining weight?
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 115.4 | GW: 105 | M/15]
Created: Wed Sep 6 11:06:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ygye9/is_myfitnesspal_trying_to_trick_me_into_gaining/
---
[removed]
Looking for a friend...
/u/fleshyapple
Created: Wed Sep 6 10:57:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ygw7o/looking_for_a_friend/
---
[removed]
[Tip] My attempt at controlling binges in my bullet journal! I'm not the best artist, but maybe it'll work 😂
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 6 10:55:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ygvsl/my_attempt_at_controlling_binges_in_my_bullet/
---
https://i.redd.it/zlhf99uimakz.jpg
[Discussion] Anxiety over other people's coffee
/u/coffeejournalist
Created: Wed Sep 6 10:31:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ygpxu/anxiety_over_other_peoples_coffee/
---
Okay so fall is literally my favorite ever. September-January is my shit. I literally saw the temperatures dropping this week and got so giddy inside.
So I'm hardcore restricting all of September and October for my cosplay for Halloween. I saw the sign for Pumpkin Lattes at the Coffee Bean right by my school. I had to have one, as basic as that sounds. So I ordered it! It's 340 cal for the regular size, so I can have about 160 more calories today and that's it 😂
But anyway, do you guys ever get anxiety over other people's drinks??? Like I literally wince when I see some sugary, blended drink with tons of whip and toppings. I actually freak out as if just by looking at it I'm going to consume the calories 🙄 I used to drink those like nothing, too, during my binge period. Now I plan and starve just so I can enjoy my pumpkin latte. What it would be like to be carefree again!
[Rant/Rave] Awkward moment at the cafe I go to
/u/borderhopping
Created: Wed Sep 6 10:27:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ygos0/awkward_moment_at_the_cafe_i_go_to/
---
I go through phases when I’m most depressed where I binge daily and avoid scales and lie to myself about my weight and gain like 30 pounds in 3 months. Then I’ll realize I gained a ton of weight and go high restriction and lose it again. Well I recently hit the “oh shit” point a few weeks ago and started restricting again (which is much more peaceful, calming, and rewarding than binging, idk why I let myself go so far in my binge cycles).
I usually go to the same café every day for lunch, it’s run by a super sweet Asian family. The wife makes up songs with your order, it’s adorable, and the husband runs the cash register. When I was going through my stupid binge cycle I was eating the worst food every day and not caring, like chicken teriyaki, sandwiches with a ton of stuff on them, soda and chips every day D: lately when I go there I usually just get a hardboiled egg, yesterday when I went the cashier was like “new diet?” He didn’t mean to be rude, but it made me so so self conscious. Like obviously he must’ve noticed I was getting fat to even comment on that.
Another huge thing making me self conscious is when I started at this job I was at my lowest weight. That was a year ago and now I’m at my highest weight ever. My coworkers have slowly seen me get fat and it’s embarrassing. I had to go to inpatient treatment a few months ago and they vaguely know about that, they’ve seen my old self harm scars, now they’re going to notice how quickly I’m losing weight again. I hate knowing they have a pretty good idea of how fucked up I am. I don't want people knowing the worst parts about me, it feels like it gives them leverage.
[Help] Anyone else do "light" exercises?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 113.6 | UGW: 102lbs | Peach: LobsterMacNCheese]
Created: Wed Sep 6 10:25:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ygofo/anyone_else_do_light_exercises/
---
Paired with my restriction I'm going to start running 10 minute increments on the treadmill. I'm thinking 10 mins in the morning, 10 in the afternoon and possibly another 10 in the evening. This is NOT a rigorous run, but more of a comfortable jog that warms me up (maybe sweat just a little). Any more than that will make me hungry.
The point is that it gets my heart rate up, possibly will give me a little more stamina (I hike with my bf on the weekends and I feel like I barely keep up), possible toning and fat burning as well?
This is such a light exercise that I'm not sure if it's even worth doing (I'm still gonna do it in hopes that it sparks up longer run times or even healthier habits), but does anyone else do these things? Any luck or words of wisdom?
[Other] Tall dark and handsome
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 124.8lbls |19.82|-40 (then +30 lol)| female]
Created: Wed Sep 6 09:40:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ygdwn/tall_dark_and_handsome/
---
https://i.redd.it/4h59o3x29akz.jpg
[Tip] helpful meditation for cravings
/u/luaquiet [5'4" | 132 | 22.7 | f]
Created: Wed Sep 6 09:36:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ygd07/helpful_meditation_for_cravings/
---
if you tend to get overwhelming, drug-addict-like cravings to eat certain high-cal things, or just to overeat/binge, you may like [this](http://www.mindfulrp.com/For-Clinicians.html) meditation. scroll down to "Urge Surfing." I shared this in a comment but thought everyone might like it. I find it unbelievably helpful. it's about drug use but can be used for any overwhelming urge/thought you get that compels you to do something that will just make you less happy in the long run. the trick is to remember to use it in the moment. I hope this helps someone.
EC stacking and Vyvanse?
/u/naughtynugget [5' 3" | CW 113 | 20.0 | GW 110 | UGW 100 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 6 09:31:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ygbpn/ec_stacking_and_vyvanse/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Normal people who say they can't eat specific foods because they threw up after eating it once
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 6 09:26:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ygakq/normal_people_who_say_they_cant_eat_specific/
---
[deleted]
[Other] Repost: follow my ED insta (and let me follow yours!
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 102.9 | 18.8 | -34 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 6 08:56:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yg42x/repost_follow_my_ed_insta_and_let_me_follow_yours/
---
@changesintheleaves - anyone else have one?
[Help] Haven't had a period for about 3 months [Help]
/u/lileruneal
Created: Wed Sep 6 08:48:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yg2gr/havent_had_a_period_for_about_3_months_help/
---
Disclaimer: I'm not asking for medical advice just anecdotal experience from others.
So as the title says I haven't had my period in 3 months. I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant, since I use condoms and BC. But I'm not sure if I lost my period because of the BC or my eating habits. Ive taken the same pills for a year now and I always got my period up until 3 months ago. But I'm not underweight, my BMI is 20.4 currently and was ~21 when I lost my period. Anybody have a similar experience?
So second question, if losing my period is related to my eating habits and I go to the doctor. Will they try to make me gain weight? Cause I lost my period at 115-117 pounds and there is no way I am going back to that weight. I am finally starting to feel better about myself.
I apologise for all this word vomit. I'm at a point where I'm torn between wanting to lose more weight and hit my lowest weight since I was a child and panicking over the long term damage I could be doing to my body. Like killing my chances of having children.
What's the fastest you've lost weight and how?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 6 07:26:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yflvs/whats_the_fastest_youve_lost_weight_and_how/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] September 6th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 6 06:50:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yfeyy/september_6th_2017_question_of_the_day/
---
What was the last online video clip you watched?
Daily Food Diary! September 06, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Sep 6 06:12:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yf8gv/daily_food_diary_september_06_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 06, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday September 06, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Sep 6 06:10:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yf89v/way_to_go_wednesday_september_06_2017/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for September 06, 2017.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Rant/Rave] I fucking hate periods
/u/lightfeathers [5'4" | CW 112 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 6 05:37:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yf2o5/i_fucking_hate_periods/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Biscuit lovers, what are you go to biscuits?
/u/itscirclejerky [5'5 | CW: repulsive| 22.29 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 6 04:32:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yet6y/biscuit_lovers_what_are_you_go_to_biscuits/
---
Like every Brit, I find a real 'cuppa' is made with a few biscuits on the side; preferably shortbread, although Digestives are nice too.
The only problem is the fact they're so high cal! One Digestive is 71 kcal. I can't believe I used to eat nine in one sitting.
Or the shortbread, I used to have six in a sitting. They're 104 kcal each.
Of course, you can swap out the fancy biscuits for something lower cal like rich tea biscuits for Digestives but what are staples in your biscuit cupboard!
[Discussion] What's your GW wardrobe?
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Wed Sep 6 01:29:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ye69k/whats_your_gw_wardrobe/
---
https://imgur.com/lW4NCZT
[Discussion] Anyone else?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 6 01:28:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ye62q/anyone_else/
---
[deleted]
[Thinspo] [Gashina by Sunmi] Some KPop Thinspo That Caught My Eye
/u/Heiligenstadt [168cm | 56kg | BMI: 19.9 | -0kg | F]
Created: Wed Sep 6 01:08:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ye3fn/gashina_by_sunmi_some_kpop_thinspo_that_caught_my/
---
https://youtu.be/dOsK3FQPhw0
[Other] Every Hurricane Has a Silver Lining (other)
/u/sweettutu64 [5'3 | -51.2 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Sep 5 23:47:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yds77/every_hurricane_has_a_silver_lining_other/
---
well we totally did not stock up on supplies fast enough and now all the stores are empty :) at least if Florida gets royally fudged I don't have to worry about stuffing my face due to boredom and stress!
[Discussion] What should I put in my Bullet Journal?
/u/tacehtelle [5"7 | 119.5 | 18.65 :( | 6.5 lbs :( | Female]
Created: Tue Sep 5 23:45:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ydrsh/what_should_i_put_in_my_bullet_journal/
---
I already have a habit tracker, sleep log, water tracker, calories per hour thing, money tracker, goals page, before vs after page, chores page and daily food thing. What else should I put in it?
[Discussion] Thinspo/ED songs?
/u/WhattheNorris [5'2 | 154/128.4/110 | •ᴗ•]
Created: Tue Sep 5 23:39:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ydqyz/thinspoed_songs/
---
I definitely have a few songs that are super ED/thinspo for me, do you guys have any?
My fav is probably [Afraid by the Neighborhood](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09CXboG8u3I) gives me restriction-binge feels lol. *When I wake up, I'm afraid somebody else is gonna take my place.*
And ofc everyone loves [Skinny love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNzCDt2eidg)
my third is probably LDR's [boarding school](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRQ1Ki_Vf78), with her direct "proana nation" lyric @ :30 haha *I'm a vain, a pro-ana nation, had to do drugs to stop the F-food cravings*
[Help] Help with late night hunger?
/u/naughtynugget [5' 3" | CW 113 | 20.0 | GW 110 | UGW 100 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 5 23:10:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ydmji/help_with_late_night_hunger/
---
I've been doing really well with restricting all day and ending at around 300-400 cals. But then when it's time for bed I'm suddenly STARVING and can't ignore it. I end up eating back most of the cals (usually to around 1000). I'm on Vyvanse so that's definitely when it starts wearing off. I also work out every day. Any tips on how to control it?
[Discussion] Instagram food diaries?
/u/lordjoji [5'3" | CW: 105 | 19.11 | CGW: 100 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 5 23:04:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ydlnj/instagram_food_diaries/
---
I recently made an Instagram account to post photos of what I eat everyday; I've found that it helps with accountability and I love seeing what other people have made! If any of y'all have daily food diary Instagrams, let me know so I can add you :) and I'm @lavender.loaf on there
[Help] I've just realized why I restrict. What should I do now? (medium long)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 5 23:02:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ydl8x/ive_just_realized_why_i_restrict_what_should_i_do/
---
[deleted]
[Help] telling a mental health professional and continuing to restrict?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18 | 22F]
Created: Tue Sep 5 22:35:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ydh18/telling_a_mental_health_professional_and/
---
basically, i told a counselor about my disordered eating during an initial appointment where we didn't go into detail about everything but she noticed on my paperwork i'd indicated a lot about negative body image, low self-esteem, worrying about weight, etc.
this is through school but i am anticipating continuing to see this counselor, and i'm sure that she'll want to discuss my disordered eating. she clearly knows that i have some kind of body dysmorphia because i commented on feeling overweight when i'm clearly...not...the problem is that i'm not ready to eat at maintenance and my schedule makes restricting really easy. does anyone who has experience with counselors/talk therapy know how a counselor would generally proceed? like, is the idea of continuing to restrict while simultaneously talking to a professional about disordered eating totally unrealistic?
[Rant/Rave] Too depressed to weigh myself
/u/neverforgotten1020
Created: Tue Sep 5 22:10:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ydcnu/too_depressed_to_weigh_myself/
---
So I'm not sure if anyone has heard of an app called DietBet but basically it's an app where you put money in and if you lose enough weight, you get your money back and have a chance to win money depending on how many people fail. Anyway, I joined a 6 month bet which required a 10% weight loss. It's coming down to the last few weeks of the bet and I'm still about 7 pounds away from the goal. This is really disappointing since I was at the goal a couple months ago and have since gained some weight back. So now I'm really discouraged and feeling more depressed and disappointed in myself than I have in a long time. I hardly ever get on the scale anymore because I'm afraid the number will just keep going up. I used to weigh myself at least 4 times a day. I'm also in a wedding in about a month and I'm dreading it because I know I'm going to look huge in all the pictures. I was doing so well a couple months ago. I guess I'm just at a low point in life right now
[Rant/Rave] One Step Forward, One Hundred Fucking Steps Back
/u/LabeledBirdBones [5'3" | CW Elephant| UGW 100 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 5 22:02:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ydauu/one_step_forward_one_hundred_fucking_steps_back/
---
I gained 10 pounds in 2 weeks back in May. I hate myself for it. I was at an unacceptable weight before I binged but now I can't look in the mirror without melting down. When I'm happy I hover around/drop to 115 pounds, which isn't great but I don't actively hate myself then. I'm not happy now in general and I'm even unhappier about my weight and it's this awful fucking cycle I can't escape. AHHH.
Today I started restricting again. I'm going to lose the weight from May and more. I tired of being an elephant. I'm tired of always wearing long sleeves no matter the weather. I'm tired of avoiding friends because I don't want them to see the new blubbery me. I'm sticking with it this time. Fuck bingeing. Wish me luck xx
[Rant/Rave] How do people seriously have no appetite when they have depression???
/u/sataned
Created: Tue Sep 5 21:19:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yd303/how_do_people_seriously_have_no_appetite_when/
---
I literally just wanna eat everything because it seems like that's my only source of happiness. But after I eat I feel guilty and then i'm sad again lol 🤷🏼♀️
[Rant/Rave] what happened in university today:
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 5 21:01:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yczr6/what_happened_in_university_today/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Ran 2 miles and going to try to eat something (without throwing it up)
/u/coffeebean27
Created: Tue Sep 5 20:37:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ycv1o/ran_2_miles_and_going_to_try_to_eat_something/
---
Title says it all. It felt really since I've been feeling lazy and fat. I haven't swam this summer which has caused my bad eating habits to flare up. It's made me feel REALLY guilty of all the food I've been having.
Since I ran, I'm going to try to eat some cereal or toast with peanut butter (from trader joes, no salt crunchy one) without going to the toilet immediately afterwards. At least that's what I hope happens. I feel a bit nervous since I purge almost all my meals.
Also does anyone know of a food/drink that can help replenish my electrolytes. I have no Gatorade in the fridge and I'm starting to feel a bit dizzy.
[Rant/Rave] When you lowkey want to break up with your boyfriend just so you lose that last 15 pounds due to break up depression
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 5 20:27:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yct4b/when_you_lowkey_want_to_break_up_with_your/
---
[removed]
When you lowkey want to break up with your boyfriend just so you lose that last 15 pounds due to break up depression
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 5 20:16:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ycr4k/when_you_lowkey_want_to_break_up_with_your/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Best weight-loss tip ever!
/u/NaejNire [5'9 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 5 19:55:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ycn2o/best_weightloss_tip_ever/
---
It's amazing guys! I figured it out!
Just start graduate school and you'll be too busy and consumed with the overwhelming thought of death to even CONSIDER eating!
(please help me)
[Help] afraid I'm not going to be able to build muscle
/u/luaquiet [5'4" | 132 | 22.7 | f]
Created: Tue Sep 5 19:52:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ycmlg/afraid_im_not_going_to_be_able_to_build_muscle/
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I'm recovering from a chronic illness that made me sedentary for over a year. am finally able to exercise, although it's a gradual progression (just gentle exercise so far, like walking and yoga). I've been doing physical therapy for some knee problems I have, and the whole point of it is to build muscle. and I also want to incorporate a full-body strength-building routine, because all my freaking muscles atrophied while I was sick and I am incredibly weak and flabbier than I've ever been at this weight. I feel like my whole body is cellulite now. I was really strong and in good shape before.
but how am I going to build these muscles while I'm restricting? I've heard that you can build muscle at a deficit if your protein is high? there's so much conflicting information out there and I'm not sure what the most reliable sources are. I have plenty of reliable sources to go to about all kinds of nutrition info, but not about this specific issue. I guess I'm just wondering if my restriction is fucking up my ability to build strength and if I should get more protein (I eat a really healthy diet and protein's never been an issue for me, but I really want to build this muscle while losing weight). I'd be happy to put some protein powder in my daily smoothies. but maybe I don't even need to do that and I can build muscle just fine without it? I'd rather not waste the money/calories if it's not necessary.
I should just stop restricting and focus on getting healthy but that's mental illness for you, folks.
I'm not counting calories right now because it makes me waaaay too disordered to function, so counting my macros isn't an option.
[Rant/Rave] I'm so weak and not in the good way
/u/Cheskaz [5'8 | CW 148lbs | GW 110lbs]
Created: Tue Sep 5 19:41:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ycka2/im_so_weak_and_not_in_the_good_way/
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CW: suicide, a lot of self hate.
All I ever do is binge. I keep trying to restrict and it just keeps blowing up in my face. I also can't stop drinking which is just thousands and thousands of calories on top of everything else. Considering how much time I spend thinking about how I need to be thin, you'd think I'd have slightly more than no self control at all.
Also my bf is really unsupportive about it. He knows about my ED but keeps trying to stop me. This is despite my psychologist saying that for now it's an important coping mechanism and keeps me from killing myself.
[Rant/Rave] I feel like a fucking failure
/u/MightyMuskrats [🐝5'2 | 🐋 | GW 115 | -17 | 22F🐝]
Created: Tue Sep 5 19:23:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ycgp4/i_feel_like_a_fucking_failure/
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Ive gained back 75% of the weight I lost after undergrad and I'm failing out of grad school and everything is overwhelming and I'm a failure and I've never hated myself more than I do right now and I need help figuring out a way to stop failing at something so that I don't have a breakdown. I just want to lose weight and be pretty and be successful at something for once. Why am I so bad at everything
How long restricted?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 5 19:12:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ycekw/how_long_restricted/
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[removed]
H
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 5 18:16:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yc3oc/h/
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[deleted]
[Help] Chew and spit?
/u/carlisam9797 [5'2" 18F | CW 119 | SW 130 | GW 105 | UGW 99]
Created: Tue Sep 5 18:03:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yc0t9/chew_and_spit/
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[removed]
I've went over my calorie limit
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 5 17:48:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ybxsl/ive_went_over_my_calorie_limit/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] [Discussion] At what BMI do people start to worry?
/u/l0seme [5'7" | CW 131.75 | BMI 20.63 | -13.25 | UGW 115 | 21F]
Created: Tue Sep 5 17:35:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ybv9a/discussion_at_what_bmi_do_people_start_to_worry/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] so mad at myself for restoring my weight/ rant
/u/bagofhair666 [Height 5'3" | CW 120 | GW 105 | GenderF]
Created: Tue Sep 5 17:35:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ybv89/so_mad_at_myself_for_restoring_my_weight_rant/
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I remember the day in April I decided to start getting better--I wish I could go back in time and tell myself it wouldnt help. Yes I have been more social and have been thinking straight, but I hate myself more than ever, get little to no attention from anyone, and oh my fucking god, i would trade anything to get this fat off of my body. I get hungry now, I have cravings, I hate it, I HATE IT. I want to relapse, but I lost control and now I am just a fat, greedy, blobby, average slug and anyone who knew me thin is probably as disgusted as I am that I let myself go.
Had to get that off my chest :/
[Rant/Rave] Out of control
/u/tarantulahospital [5'7 | -25lb | F]
Created: Tue Sep 5 17:29:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ybu6q/out_of_control/
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Constant binging is bringing me down.
I'm finally obese again!
Twenty five pounds regained so quickly
I guess I'm meant to be fat.
When I finally get on my own I'm gonna spend all my money on my bills, games, and other stuff since self control is something I lack
:-)
Speaking of lack of self control, guess which lactose intolerant kid ate dairy and is now paying for it?
[Discussion] Does anyone else use anime characters as Thinspo?
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Tue Sep 5 16:54:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ybmw6/does_anyone_else_use_anime_characters_as_thinspo/
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https://imgur.com/cBFncw5
[Other] Talked with my SO, and I need to try and recover
/u/then_she_said [5'7 | -50 | 27F | UGW: 130]
Created: Tue Sep 5 16:44:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ybkwq/talked_with_my_so_and_i_need_to_try_and_recover/
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I talked to my fiancee about how badly I've relapsed back into my bulimia, and he said he knew, but he didn't know how bad the relapse has been. He was really upset, both with me and with himself. It was an intense conversation.
I log my binges, even when I purge, and my calorie log goes from days around 500, to insane 6,000 calorie days. When he works late nights, I've gotten into the habit of stopping at fast food places on my way home, then stuffing my face and purging it all, then pretending I've just been hanging out with the cat and watching TV all night.
We have our wedding coming up in 5 1/2 weeks, and one of my biggest fears is over-eating at the reception and spending the entire party anxious about when I can get back to the hotel and purge. Or spending our entire honeymoon obsessively calorie-counting and stressing about how much we're eating and not being able to enjoy myself.
So adios, y'all. I'm off to the world of "eating healthy" and "1200 is plenty". No more high restricting for half the week and binging like a maniac for the other half. No more carrying laxatives in my purse in a Tylenol bottle. No more blowing my savings account at Burger King. I'm off to the magical world of recovery.
[Rant/Rave] I have C/S three times in the last three days & I feel like utter shiiiiitttt
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 5 16:43:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ybknw/i_have_cs_three_times_in_the_last_three_days_i/
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[deleted]
[Help] Do I have an ED?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 5 16:22:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ybga8/do_i_have_an_ed/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Rinse and repeat.
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Tue Sep 5 15:45:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yb8dt/rinse_and_repeat/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Fat jokes
/u/miserabbg
Created: Tue Sep 5 15:15:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yb1ni/fat_jokes/
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Ok so i've had an ed (not diagnosed but obviously there) since i was 8. I think what triggered it was all the abuse i was enduring at the time but idk. Binged every single day, ballooned up to 220 pounds at 5'7. Now im 155 pounds at 5'7 and my friends STILL make fat jokes even though they're well aware of my ed. I mean, it helps me starve so ig it's okay in that sense but still sucks yaknow. Theyre going to regret it all when i'm thinner than them :) which will be soon.
[Rant/Rave] ED Epiphany
/u/uiume [5'4" | CW:122.8 | 21.72 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 5 15:13:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yb16e/ed_epiphany/
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Just got out of one of my classes (1st day) and I'm feeling weird and overstimulated by the fast pace of the 90 minute discussion that I for some reason found impossible to participate in. Couldn't articulate my words in my head or out loud.
Walking back to my dorm, frazzled mentally, drained physically (that whole not eating thing) and a sudden thought comes into my mind spontaneously.
"What am I going to eat for dinner?" An innocent enough question. But then I begin to think about everything I've eaten today, how many calories I have left, what my weight is and will be in a few weeks if I'm diligent with my restricting. My mind is still cautious to think, but I proceed with the fixation on food and measurements.
As I walk past my peers all I do is scrutinize their appearances. I see a girl a lot larger than me, and feel less hatred towards myself. I see a girl that is undeniably thin, with what I think could be a similar body type to mine, but I smile at the ridiculous notion that I could ever look like her. All I see are bodies different from mine and I am alone in my head.
I start to mentally plan my dinner. What do I get so my roommate thinks I'm just trying to eat healthier? What foods in the cafeteria are low calorie but high protein to prevent binging later on?
I pause. And then I realize what my eating disorder is. And what it isn't. It's control. It's power that I have that I have experienced anywhere else in any sense of the word. I'm not a student in a class of twenty that has seemingly nothing to contribute to discussion, who disappears among engaged and intelligent minds, no, not when I get to thinking about eating and not eating. Now, in this mindset, I know what I'm talking about and have the calories and foods and macros memorized, burned into my thought process. It's a knowledge that stays secret within me and manifests into the appearance of someone in control of something so meaningless such as food, someone who is put together and doing better than those that look at my more empty than full plate.
I forget about the draining experience in that class. In the long run it means nothing. Eventually I will speak and add intrigue to the conversation and make an impression of some sort in the eyes of my professor. For now, think about food. Think about how you can control what you eat and how much and how that is a power that, successfully enacted, brings a high like any other.
[Intro] Beck again
/u/deadestpoet
Created: Tue Sep 5 15:08:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yb00y/beck_again/
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Hi y'all! I've spent the last month or so eating like a normal person and today my ED brain got triggered again. I was talking to a girl in the locker room and she mentioned restricting, losing weight and not getting a period for a long time. Being bigger than her, my mind instantly went the competitive route. I know I shouldn't fall for it again, I've been down that rabbit hole one too many times to be that naive, but I really don't care. I feel huge, gross, out of control and ashamed of letting myself go for this long. I need this, at least for a while, just 'til I can feel a bit better about my body. I know I'll be dizzy, tired, cold, and might just ruin what I've got going with an amazing guy, but right now I cannot find it in me to care.
I don't know where I'm going with this. Maybe I'm looking for support, maybe I want someone to slap me across the face and tell me to snap out of it. Maybe I just wanna talk to people who get what I'm going through and who can relate to this mess. Really thankful for any comments! I kind of need them right now.
How I dealt with my cravings yesterday
/u/darksoulsfan69
Created: Tue Sep 5 14:33:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yarzf/how_i_dealt_with_my_cravings_yesterday/
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https://imgur.com/a/LLDoa
[Other] My Nightmare
/u/snail_love [5'6" | F | CW: not enough | GW: never enough]
Created: Tue Sep 5 14:21:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yaoy3/my_nightmare/
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If you saw me sitting here in this coffee shop, you might be jealous. Or you might be grossed out, depending what your ideal body is. I'm severely underweight, sipping plain green tea, looking professional & productive. You wouldn't guess that I spent my morning binging and purging - first a number of breakfast tacos I don't even want to type. The second time popcorn and donuts. I'm already thinking about my next binge while I type.
My eating disorder has taken everything from me. I B/P anywhere from two to six or seven times a day. I eat everything I can get my hands on just to taste it again while I shove a toothbrush down my throat. I can slip on my favorite size 00 dress and have my partner comment that it's getting loose on me. He's never seen me later in the restaurant's bathroom purging dinner. I haven't kept down a proper meal in over a year. I live off nibbles of salad, vegetables, and way too much alcohol.
My boss had been concerned about my weight for over a year, finally she confronted me and asked directly if I was dealing with an eating disorder. I caved and admitted it, she promised we would try to find a way to get me help together. A week later, she fired me because she didn't feel I was mentally stable enough to do my job anymore. I don't blame her, to be honest. I'm not.
My job isn't the worst part of what this disorder has taken from me. The worst is the loss of love and family and friends. My birthday recently passed and I couldn't even keep down the chicken fajita salad I ordered. The whole dinner with my family I could only think about how quickly I could get to the restroom to feel empty again. Mexican food used to be my favorite. I have canceled on so many social events and outings because of anxiety about food that I no longer have a single person in my real life that I would consider a friend. I love my dad more than anything in the world and I want to spend the day with him visiting my grandma, but I haven't in years because I know there will be all the delicious, fatty foods of my childhood and I'm not sure if I could escape to purge them. When I saw my sister last, I didn't want to browse the adorable antique store she found for us because too much of the salad I ate might digest. I've skipped Thanksgiving and Christmas and weddings and birthdays. I have a truly incredible man who loves me no matter what I weigh, *really* loves all of me. But I still can't stop.
I know the danger. Before I was this, I was a successful nursing student. I'll have a sudden heart attack or my kidneys will slowly fail me (they're already starting to); either way I'll die before I reach thirty.
Treatment is a fantasy. Even with what would be considered "good" insurance, it would cost me four thousand dollars to even begin to address this. I've reached a point so low that no therapist or recovery program will accept me for anything less than 24/7 intensive inpatient treatment. And chances are that I would need to be there well into next year, bringing my out-of-pocket to 8,000. I don't have that. My family definitely doesn't have that, even if I broke down and begged.
So here I am, trapped and dying. I'm not sure why I decided to make this post, except to be HONEST about how horrific this disease is. It isn't a diet. It isn't something you commit to until you loose ten pounds for bikini season. This is a real, torturous mental illness. It will take the joy and the laughter from your life.
Please, run away if you still can. Surround yourself with friends who make you giggle, hug that family member twice as hard. I feel like I'm saying cliche shit you've already heard. I heard it too. It's true though. I constantly stare at other women, I admire their gorgeous bodies, I love their softness and the way a joke lights up their face. I wish I could be like them.
I can eat anything I want and not gain weight. It's a nightmare.
[Discussion] Your workout routine? (Discussion)
/u/tresliz [5"7 | [redacted] | [redacted] | ~30 lost | F]
Created: Tue Sep 5 14:10:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yamaq/your_workout_routine_discussion/
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So I just now started to exercise as part of my daily restriction. I do yoga then crunches and leg lifts but I don't know how to do much else. What's your workout regime look like?
[Tip] dont binge, watch Freaky Eaters instead
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 5 14:02:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yakeu/dont_binge_watch_freaky_eaters_instead/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLWbjtOb9Kk
[Tip] Don't binge, watch Freaky Eaters instead
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 5 13:57:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yaj5f/dont_binge_watch_freaky_eaters_instead/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLWbjtOb9Kk
[Rant/Rave] Sore from binging?
/u/gracefullystupid
Created: Tue Sep 5 13:57:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yaiyk/sore_from_binging/
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Has anyone else ever eaten so much that they're actually sore? Last week, Wednesday, I started intermittent fasting, I would fast for 24 hours then eat 1 meal in like 20 minutes and then go back to fasting and Saturday night I was at 28 hours and actually felt like I could go longer but my fiancé wanted Chipotle and I was like eh just eat you deserve it and I ate a burrito and that was it, and then Sunday we went out to eat with his brother and his fiancé, and that started 2 days of almost endless eating. And now today my stomach is so sore like it was just completely stretched out and my body is sore and I just don't even feel alive right now, very dizzy and I just feel awful. I wanna just skip the IF and just straight up fast this week. I gained back the 8 pounds I lost from those 4 days :c
Also unrelated but why I need to straight up fast much longer than a week: fiancé's parents were over here yesterday and saw my kettlebell gloves sitting out (I do it on and off, when I restrict I don't have the energy for it) and asked what they were for and when I told him he was just kinda like, you exercise.? In that "you're lying" kind of tone.. and I get it I've gained a ton of weight but still ouch. And like his mom has also told me, "you're beautiful even if you have so much acne." Like ouch thanks parent in laws. They used to say how cute I was to my fiancé :c I really have to stop eating until I'm cute again. I think this just turned into an I'm fasting post. I'm at 18 hours! Going for forever lol.
[Other] Brain on Auto Pilot
/u/SwedishKaiser
Created: Tue Sep 5 13:55:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yails/brain_on_auto_pilot/
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I went to the pet store with my mom today and she started looking for food for our dog.
Dudes. I couldn't resist. I started picking up cans of cat food and trying to find a calorie count.
I snapped out of it when I realised how psychotic it must have looked LMAO. 😂
Did not find the calorie count though 😕
[Discussion] Does anyone else have a "better" season?
/u/Bridget6th [5'8" | CW135 | 20.5 | UGW119 | 32F]
Created: Tue Sep 5 13:48:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yah1e/does_anyone_else_have_a_better_season/
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Today felt like the first real day of fall where I live and it just pushed my motivation into overdrive. Fall and winter always make me want to do better and restrict and work out harder. In the summer I always feel like a huge, sweaty lumpy mush anyway and there's always BBQ's, street festivals, pool parties, beer volleyball games, 4th of July, etc that we have to go to which involves endless amounts of drinking and eating so I just give up. But when fall hits and I can pull out my cute fall outfits and skinny jeans with boots, everything in me just wants to get to that UGW. Anyone else have a favorite season that resonates with them for whatever reason?
[Rant/Rave] Question/rant?
/u/MILF83
Created: Tue Sep 5 13:48:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yagz2/questionrant/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE feel like a fake
/u/fuckwit_charlie [5'2 | 86lbs | BMI: 17.1 (new calc). | W/L: 16lbs | F]
Created: Tue Sep 5 13:43:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6yafpa/dae_feel_like_a_fake/
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Does anyone else feel like a fake if you eat 'normally' around people who know about your eating disorder? Like hypothetically if I was to eat a slice of pizza, not only would I feel like shit about eating it, but I would feel like I'm lying to people or like I'm just being dramatic etc?
[Rant/Rave] HEALTHY!
/u/BodilySolids
Created: Tue Sep 5 12:43:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ya14u/healthy/
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After 5 months of diligent restricting and logging calories and obsessing... I am finally at a healthy BMI.
Starting weight: 167lbs in April
Current weight: 121.2 and dropping!
From obese to healthy in 5 months, y’all!!!
[Help] Fasting confusion
/u/neverforgotten1020
Created: Tue Sep 5 12:00:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y9qv3/fasting_confusion/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE not count calories most of the time?
/u/i-have-8-nickels
Created: Tue Sep 5 11:27:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y9ivf/dae_not_count_calories_most_of_the_time/
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I honestly don't focus on numbers when I'm doing any kind of heavy restricting or fasting. Like I'll do a liquids only fast and not count the calories - but I'm only drinking diet and sugar-free drinks and water - but I don't count calories when I'm not restricting either because I find that it is like extreeeeemely counterproductive and I always feel guilty no matter what the number is. Probably why I'm fat lol.
[Rant/Rave] Having blood work done
/u/2017HeyJude
Created: Tue Sep 5 11:23:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y9hwq/having_blood_work_done/
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Hey, I have to get my blood checked up next week (for non ED-related purposes), but I'm afraid the results might show that I don't eat "healthy"... I'm not sure about everything they're going to test but I know there is iron, some blood cell stuff, sugar...I used to take supplements (iron and b12 mostly because I'm vegetarian so I'm usually careful with that) but I stopped a few month ago and just started back last week in hopes of having better blood results 😂
So my question is mostly: if they didn't order specific tests for ED, can they still suspect something just from general results? My doctor was a bit suspiscious of the weight loss (which isn't that big but my weight had been very stable for the past years), and she noted I had bruises on my legs (I bruise like a peach and I saw a post here recently about that!). Also, do you think it would be wise to maintain (as opposed to restrictition) during the testing period?
(On the plus side, I have to stop eating 12 hours before the blood tests so yeaaah mini fast)
[Discussion] Restricting or pregnant?
/u/MidnightBlueFox [5'5 | CW: 132lbs | BMI: 22 | -18lbs | F]
Created: Tue Sep 5 10:49:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y99h8/restricting_or_pregnant/
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I just skipped a period and that comes with the usual panic of wondering if I have just conceived. I started my pack late a month ago, had unprotected sex with the boyfriend (yes I was careless), and now have no period. Of course this could also stem from the fact that my restricting has increased.
I'm not going out to buy a test just yet, because I've skipped months before.
Logically I know that it's a small chance of pregnancy, but emotionally I'm preparing for all hell to break lose.
I love when I restrict and start to loose weight, but always panic when I miss a period. Anyone else?
[Discussion] I started low dose Naltrexone (and HCG) but I think the naltrexone is really helping. Posting this in case anyone wants to ask questions
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Tue Sep 5 10:28:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y94du/i_started_low_dose_naltrexone_and_hcg_but_i_think/
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[removed]
[Help] I went to the doctor's for the first time in 3 years. It did not go well.
/u/diedawhileago [5'5 1/2 | 107 | 17.5 | -123 lbs! | 17f]
Created: Tue Sep 5 10:06:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y8yyl/i_went_to_the_doctors_for_the_first_time_in_3/
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First off I just wanna apologize for posting so much, it's been a weird month but I'll try to tone it down
ALRIGHTY SO THIS COULD NOT HAVE GONE WORSE
My dad took me to the doctor this morning because I have a terrible sore throat and we wanted to make sure it wasn't strep, blah blah blah
The plan was to refuse to let them weigh me. Should have known that wouldn't work out because I'm super non confrontational and hate inconveniencing people. Whatever. I got on the scale.
107.
oh shit.
The doctor came in and IMMEDIATELY started talking anorexia. The first words out of her mouth were literally "WOW you've lost so much weight, are you okay??? Are you anorexic?"
oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit
I spent the entire appointment smiling, laughing, and trying to be the Perfect Happy Healthy Teen Girl^^TM but *dear god I am freaking out*. She kept asking how I was eating, why I'd lost so much (last time I saw her I was 180 which wasn't even my highest weight lol), if I was okay, etc etc. Every other word was 'anorexia'. When she checked my lymph nodes she said "You're so thin and pale, like a doll! I'm worried I'll break you!". Hearing that made me so disgustingly happy. She ran tests for strep, mono, and anemia, and now I have a 12 week prescription for vitamin D (insert dick joke here).
She wants to see me again in a couple weeks. In that amount of time I'll probably have lost another 3-5lbs because I can't control myself AT ALL
shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
At least I don't have strep??? But now my dad knows that the Dr is concerned, my mom's suspicious, and my therapist is probably on to me lol just kill me please
[Rant/Rave] My mom is such a bitch!
/u/thinkingofaboobjob
Created: Tue Sep 5 09:52:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y8vbx/my_mom_is_such_a_bitch/
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So this happened yesterday, but I will never forget those "kind" words. i came back from my workout, and I usually tend to burn 600 calories at the gym. Never less. I count my calories, and I used to eat 400, then 600, now I TRY to stick to 800. But since i made a pledge to get healthy, its 1,200 and 1,400 if I feel like "bingeing". I came back really hungry, and I was looking around for something to eat. So i asked her, and then she says "Didn't you already have breakfast" so i was like "i ate a boiled egg, technically its gone now" and then she just out of nowhere goes like "You're always eating nonstop, and then when you overeat you go to the gym and burn it off and do the same all over again" you eat so much. Of course that hurt so much, because shes the one who's always on my ass telling me im so thin, you should gain weight. But i bet she never meant it, she just had to say that to seem like she cared. Sometimes if im bored, or if I ate "bad calories" like chips, a lollipop etc I'll go to the gym AGAIN and burn it off just because i'm paranoid and It constitutes as "bad sugar" in my book. Sometimes i'll go twice a day to the gym just because I'm bored. Well, i'm so sorry that a ricecake and low fat yogurt count as "overeating" I really should just survive on air. My current statistics for whoever is curious are:
height: 5'3
Weight: 97 lbs (last i checked, but i think I probably dropped to 96)
age: 16 (turning 17 in november 11)
goal weight: 93
I didn't eat anything that day besides an apple, and I slept until dinner. I woke up so dizzy, like you know when you open your eyes and you just see all black but it starts to lighten up? Kind of like when you accidentally stare at the sun. So my fatass binged and ate ritz crackers, and a bowl of lentil soup. I'm still really hurt. I'm sorry if the format is shit, as I'm on the app. And again I'm really sorry if this doesn't count as suitable "content".
[Discussion] "Studying"
/u/nervous_nandu [5'4" | CW 128 | LW: 98 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 5 08:58:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y8i6m/studying/
---
I tend to stay on campus between classes with intentions to study but usually I find myself wedged in some corner of my favorite academic building on this subreddit or watching supersize vs super skinny or another one of those shows. Since I so often wind up here, I run out of content so does anyone have any suggestions of hidden ED content somewhere on this vast internet? I'm **pathetic**
[Goal] Starting my first fast
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 161.8 | GW:118 | -4 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 5 08:22:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y8a70/starting_my_first_fast/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] saved all my kcals for booze, predictably effed it up
/u/7376549
Created: Tue Sep 5 07:49:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y836x/saved_all_my_kcals_for_booze_predictably_effed_it/
---
sorry, this is literally just going to be a rant to nowhere because i feel so shitty lmao
but okay yesterday i had a date & i knew i'd be drinking a lot so i saved all my calories for alcohol, which to my dumbass hell-bent-on-self-destruction mind seemed like a GREAT idea because i'd 1) save the calories & 2) i wouldn't have to drink as much since i get drunk way faster on an empty stomach.
this was as you can probably guess an absolutely garbage idea.
we saw a movie, went to a bar afterwards at about 4pm.
i was stone cold fucked up from 5pm til i finally slept at like 5am :)
and i drank about 600 calories in vodka & jaeger alone :)
and then :) the worst fucking part :) the guy took me to macdonald's at like 3am or something (apparently because i was stumbling around like a zombie & he thought food would help, *thanks a fucking lot dude*) & i ate 400 fucking calories of fries. which i was absolutely NOT saving cals for!!!!!!!
i hate myself lmao. i couldn't even purge much of it somehow, even though i usually throw up really easily when i'm drunk. ☹️🔫
anyway, fuck it. it's the next afternoon & i'm hungover as fuck & i just needed to vent this. thanks for listening, guys 💘
[Rant/Rave] So discouraged :(
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 196 lb | GW: 120 lb | 22F]
Created: Tue Sep 5 07:42:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y81lb/so_discouraged/
---
I've been waiting on a whoosh for three weeks. I even ate maintenance a few days ago to try to trigger it, but nothing. My average deficit has slipped from ~1200/day a couple weeks ago to ~450 this past week. And that's totally my fault but it'd be so much easier to find motivation to not binge on cookies if I actually saw results.
I mean, people say I look thinner, but who actually knows for sure if the scale isn't moving? Like I can't get the satisfaction of weighing less and I can't have the comfort of eating a bunch of food to feel better.
This is WAAAAY TMI but I took three giant shits yesterday and still didn't weigh less today? Like damn what the hell.
[Rant/Rave] Binge week
/u/fuckwit_charlie [5'2 | 86lbs | BMI: 17.1 (new calc). | W/L: 16lbs | F]
Created: Tue Sep 5 07:37:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y80la/binge_week/
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Well I went to see my boyfriend for a few days, who encouraged me to start eating normally again, which led to me binging for a week. I literally ate everything and anything - Nutella on bagels, chocolate cake, ice cream, basically everything that I've been avoiding. I weighed myself the other day and just wanted to die - but my boyfriend has said if I lose any more weight he's going to reconsider our relationship. I'm just feeling terrible and need some support.
[Help] How to update flair/ check wtf email I created this account with on mobile?
/u/Vio1et [155cm | 46kg | 19 | f]
Created: Tue Sep 5 07:33:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y7zra/how_to_update_flair_check_wtf_email_i_created/
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Sorry in advance that this post is so idiotic.
So I've completely forgotten the password for this account AND what email I used to create it apparently. Meaning I can't log in on desktop so all I have is my mobile account.
Is there any way to check what email I used to make this account?? Or to update my flair?? I fear I may have to abandon ship and create a new account. Anyone know a way around this?
Sorry to bore you but thanks for reading if you did.
[Sticky] Self-care and Beauty Q+A September 05, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Sep 5 06:11:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y7k4y/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_september_05_2017/
---
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Self-care and beauty threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! September 05, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Sep 5 06:10:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y7k46/daily_food_diary_september_05_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 05, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Help] I figured out the biggest cause of my binges, and I don't know what to do
/u/Kylepinocchio
Created: Tue Sep 5 06:07:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y7jkb/i_figured_out_the_biggest_cause_of_my_binges_and/
---
I realized something today.
When I binge, the most common reason why is that I have a fear that restricting will cause me to lose my concentration and not do as well in school.
Every time I binge, it's out of hopes that after I eat, I'll be able to remember things better.
Does anyone have ways to concentrate better while restricting? Bingeing is actually counterproductive because I feel so shitty about myself afterwards, but the academic thing is the justification I always end up using.
It doesn't help that me entire life, teachers and my parents and other kids have treated me as though I'm some genius. I'm really not, but there's a lot of pressure on me to live up to those standards and get scholarships to college and high grades.
Has anyone had similar binge causes, and how did you break out of that cycle?
[Rant/Rave] Old account got busted, my scale is possessed and I'm being fed too much.
/u/RabidAxolotls
Created: Tue Sep 5 06:03:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y7is1/old_account_got_busted_my_scale_is_possessed_and/
---
(am on mobile, please tag as rant)
So my old account got busted a few months back by my SO. He didn't get mad about me relapsing or being in this subreddit, but rather because of the post I made where I was complaining about some dumb thing he said that triggered me.
I hadn't made a new one and just used the old one to comment on some posts because he didn't seem to mind and I was striving for "recovery" lol. But a girl has got to rant once in a while.
So now I have a fresh new account along with my relapse.
Updates :
-Given to some miracle, I have been able to maintain for a year, only sometimes dropping and gaining back half a kilo . (my invincible plateau)
-My scale is possessed and has scared me more than once because it says I Gained 10 kilos in a weekend. Then I get back on and it's back to normal. Like wtf? I have to weigh the cats and my SO repeatedly until I'm convinced it's working again.
- I got two cavities from purging.. Yeeey. So now I can't purge and I have to spend money I do not have on a dentist's appointment.
-SO decided to get in shape and so he started to food prep for both of us every week.
It's healthy stuff, but too much food. I can't throw it out because I feel guilty of throwing so much food to the trash. It screws with my restricting. He's losing weight, but I am staying the same and every time I try to bail out, he gets offended or frustrated that I complain about the food.
Today I had to throw out the meat because it grossed me out too much. (he's a great cook, I just don't want to eat so much, so heavy in meats)
I just want to lose 6 kilos. I used to be able to do that in a week, how have I lost my strength?
Sorry for the extensive rant.
[Discussion] September 5th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 5 05:49:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y7gba/september_5th_2017_question_of_the_day/
---
What did you learn today?
[Rant/Rave] After 3 years of struggling, losing and gaining, binging and purging, I finally found a set of rules that work for me
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 5 05:44:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y7fii/after_3_years_of_struggling_losing_and_gaining/
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[deleted]
I bought primatene a week ago and I'm still too scared to take it
/u/lettucejunkie
Created: Tue Sep 5 05:28:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y7cu1/i_bought_primatene_a_week_ago_and_im_still_too/
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[removed]
[Discussion] My pre-packaged day. 510 calories.
/u/ThermalAnvil [15 lbs lost]
Created: Tue Sep 5 05:20:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y7boc/my_prepackaged_day_510_calories/
---
https://i.redd.it/n078k23lt1kz.jpg
[Intro] Just Another Intro
/u/Heiligenstadt [168cm | 56kg | BMI: 19.9 | -0kg | F]
Created: Tue Sep 5 04:29:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y740s/just_another_intro/
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Hi, sorry this is probably another long generic post but I just wanted to introduce myself and give some background.
I'm a 22 years old Undergrad, 168cm and 56kg. I remember struggling with ED at the age of 11-12 years old.
I was 45kg for a long time, from after I hit puberty to the start of University. In my final term I dropped out due to a lot of reasons: I felt hopeless, my personal hygiene was nonexistent, I hit my lowest weight at 43kg in several years and I had managed to ruin every friendship I made in that year.
After that I moved back home with my parents and spent the following 2 years working, travelling, reapplying to Uni and attempting recovery. I managed to put on 13kg and got through my 1st year of Uni.
Logically, I know that staying with my parents really helped my academia and ED but I feel and look enormous. I am so disgusted with myself I spent all of my summer holidays (almost 3 months) at home; I cancelled my reservations for Paris and plans of working. I'm afraid of going back to Uni in 2 weeks time at this weight.
Right now, I feel like the past years have all been a waste. Recovery didn't help me, it was long and painful. I miss being in control so I've decided to take action and responsibility again. 2 days ago I started restricting, the scales scare me too much right now but I hope to at least reach 50kg in 5 weeks.
Sorry about the long-winded post and thanks for taking the time to read all of this. You'll be seeing more of me from now on! :-)
[Other] when you taste the calories in your starbucks drink
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 5 04:06:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y70pe/when_you_taste_the_calories_in_your_starbucks/
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https://i.redd.it/ibyb34bag1kz.gif
[Thinspo] my thigh gap
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 5 03:34:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y6wg4/my_thigh_gap/
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https://i.redd.it/lmoxoedla1kz.jpg
[Discussion] EDs and Zodiac?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 5 03:28:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y6vpt/eds_and_zodiac/
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[deleted]
[Other] scrolling through thinspo websites like
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 5 03:17:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y6u9s/scrolling_through_thinspo_websites_like/
---
https://i.redd.it/94aiynzq71kz.gif
[Discussion] Common safe foods you can't stand?
/u/Pitaia [1.70cm | CW: aaaHHAHA | BMI: ? |GW: S M A L L]
Created: Tue Sep 5 03:04:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y6sec/common_safe_foods_you_cant_stand/
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A lot of notoriously lower calorie foods are common staples to people with EDs. Pickles, mustard, hot sauce, oatmeal, energy drinks... what are ones you just hate? I recently tried pickles and while I'll say we don't have a wide variety here it was definitely a shock at first; especially for someone who went so long without trying them properly 😅 how about you guys?
HARD MODE: vegans/vegetarians and/or people with allergies or other food intolerances; animal products and the respective allergies don't count! I wanna hear about the Oreos of the world you don't like!
[Help] Getting over tossing food...?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~60lbs | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Tue Sep 5 02:55:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y6r2a/getting_over_tossing_food/
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I feel SO guilty... my parents bought me so much food...
Three HUGE bags of popcorn, candies (hard candy, gummies, and chocolates), cookies, pie, jalapeño poppers, burgers, and cracker snacks.
But I literally cannot stand having this shit in my dorm. I can't sleep.
Im scared I will eat all of this food. I already gained 8 lbs over the weekend because friends and family love to just stuff you full like a little pig...
My one salvation in life is knowing that I only have enough food in my dorm at a time to have dinner and a snack for one week. Nothing more.
BUT NOT NOW.
I HAVE TO GET RID OF THIS FOOD.
I guess I'm wondering how can I get over the guilt of tossing probably $40-$50 worth of my parents money in the garbage... 😣
[Other] Contrave
/u/feejghost
Created: Tue Sep 5 02:52:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y6qp4/contrave/
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[removed]
[Other] tfw you realize youve been miscalculating calories in a food
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 5 02:37:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y6ov9/tfw_you_realize_youve_been_miscalculating/
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https://i.redd.it/k9l2xoxh01kz.gif
[Other] tfw youre attempting recovery and ana tries to bring you back
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 5 02:18:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y6mi0/tfw_youre_attempting_recovery_and_ana_tries_to/
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https://i.redd.it/50o52nmuw0kz.gif
[Rant/Rave] Imagine if you used your ED as an excuse
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 177lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Tue Sep 5 02:15:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y6m6v/imagine_if_you_used_your_ed_as_an_excuse/
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"sorry I can't work today. I'm too dizzy from my 12hr fast"
"I'm really cold so could we turn the AC up on warm ask the way?"
"you're descriminating against me for not having clothes that fit me"
Why can't I use my eating habits as an excuse to skate through life. Why are my eating habits horrendous, but no one bats an eye when she orders $30 if Chinese food for herself AT LUNCH.
Where is my sympathy and understanding?
NEW
/u/AquaMarineLife
Created: Tue Sep 5 02:11:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y6lpv/new/
---
[removed]
[Other] whenever you hear the word "buffet"
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 5 01:58:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y6k2i/whenever_you_hear_the_word_buffet/
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https://i.redd.it/s1e5lqnpt0kz.gif
[Thinspo] when your willpower kicks in and you dont eat a thing
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 5 01:49:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y6ixc/when_your_willpower_kicks_in_and_you_dont_eat_a/
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https://i.redd.it/arobph8zr0kz.gif
[Discussion] Recovery is hard... can I just skip to when I'm better?
/u/anon1200607
Created: Tue Sep 5 01:48:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y6isw/recovery_is_hard_can_i_just_skip_to_when_im_better/
---
So I have struggled for a few years with anorexia but in the last 6 months it has gotten way out of hand. I've been hospitalized twice for heart problems and severe malnutrition, and if I don't fix things soon, it's going to be three times.
I feel as if I have made great progress in my habits as well as eating but it just doesn't show in the numbers. For example I used to just have coffee for breakfast, small lunch >300cal, and a medium/small dinner for >600cal. That was basically it for the day. But now I am having my 3 meals per day, and usually a late night snack too. But I struggle with portion size, and I just can't seem to figure out what is enough.
I really struggle to drink the boost/ensure because I view it as wasted calories, and I could have something much more enjoyable if I am going to consume 250cal. But I waste so much time on deciding what it is I am going to have, that I always end up with something insufficient.
To make things worse I need more food than your average person due to medical conditions. Even when I was in the hospital, my portions were bigger than the other ED patients and it was so hard. It is just so hard to have others gawking at how much food I must eat and I still can't gain weight despite how hard I am trying to fight against the voice telling me I've had enough.
I really do want to get better. I want my life back, but it is just so hard. Tonight as my late night snack I ate 4 smallish cookies. The voice was screaming at me to stop, but I managed to eat 4 out of 5. But the other part of me is so upset that I've failed once again because I really should have eaten all 5.
I just needed to rant, but if anyone else is interested in recovery let me know.
[Discussion] do you smoke?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 5 01:37:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y6hbv/do_you_smoke/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] anyone else use indie bath and body products to curb the faintest hunger?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 5 00:31:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y6829/anyone_else_use_indie_bath_and_body_products_to/
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[deleted]
[Goal] back on the wagon at 119 :///
/u/carlisam9797 [5'2" 18F | CW 119 | SW 130 | GW 105 | UGW 99]
Created: Mon Sep 4 23:42:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y60tg/back_on_the_wagon_at_119/
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i started the summer off at 130 and got down to 113, then plateaued for a couple weeks. our scale at home is about 1-3 pounds light. it was the week before classes so a big non-stop party basically. (traveled thursday, tried to count calories but stumbled and eventually failed miserably when the binge drinking of college began). now, after a week and a half of binging for the first time in months and a couple pounds up cause of my roommate's scale, i'm 119. honestly expected it to be worse. i would've been devastated to be back in the 120s, but this i can work with.
I've gotten an insane amount of comments from people about the weight loss. Especially guys. None of that matters to me as much as the way I feel though. I genuinely feel like my personality is better because I'm not so insanely insecure. I can't even imagine what it will be like to actually look in the mirror in the morning and see slim, pretty thighs instead of big thick ones, a flat tummy, dainty arms, a small girly chest. It's gonna be awesome.
anyway it was my first day back on the diet today!!! wanna be in the 10Xs by christmas :) ugw 99lbs will be the happiest day of my life, exactly 20 pounds from now!
[Rant/Rave] If I can control my body I have control over other things in my life, right? Right??
/u/gradsquests
Created: Mon Sep 4 23:33:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y5zd5/if_i_can_control_my_body_i_have_control_over/
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[removed]
[Help] Side effects from the purging?
/u/coffeebean27
Created: Mon Sep 4 23:27:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y5ye1/side_effects_from_the_purging/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Why is everyone suddenly a doctor
/u/elliebearrrr [F21 | 5'5.75" | SW: 175lbs CW: 155lbs GW1: 140lbs]
Created: Mon Sep 4 23:21:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y5xex/why_is_everyone_suddenly_a_doctor/
---
Went out for dinner and drinks last night with friends from school who I haven't seen all summer, and so many people commented on my weight loss (only ~10lbs since they last saw me but hey I'm not complaining)! I had fun and still stuck to budget thanks to Diet Coke and calories on the menu.
AND THEN
on the bus home with one of my friends I stupidly opened up to her about what I've been struggling with and how my family were pushing me towards recovery and I wasn't sure if I was ready for it yet etc etc (she's attempted suicide before and is currently in counselling for depression/anxiety, as well as struggling with weight herself so I figured she'd sort of get it)
And she suddenly flipped and was like *patronisingly* concerned... I honestly felt about five years old, it was shit
Idk it just really annoys me when people assume you haven't heard all this not being healthy/doesn't work long term/just eat normally/metabolism bullshit before???
Literally the amount of crap she came out with about slowing down my metabolism, "it's not about counting calories", CICO doesn't work blah blah blah
Like babe
Believe me, I know what I'm talking about lmao
I know she was trying to help so I feel guilty writing about her here but my GOD did it piss me off!!
That's the last time I tell anyone about my ED lol
[Discussion] DAE else not like the idea of being super tall and skinny because they think they will look like a giant?
/u/Kayla647
Created: Mon Sep 4 23:05:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y5uum/dae_else_not_like_the_idea_of_being_super_tall/
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I am 5"6. I really don't know if some people even consider that tall but in the area I live there are so many super small petite girls.
Sometimes I feel like a giant already so I can only imagine when I finally reach my goal weight of 98 pounds how I will look.
There is something else I have been thinking. I'm reaching my goal slowly now at 114 pounds but I'm worried what if I still don't look skinny enough? When will I reach the weight I am satisfied with?
These are just a few of my thoughts. Idk if anyone will read this but if you do how do you feel about either being tall or short with your weight? Or are you ever afraid that you will never reach a weight you are happy with?
(Im on mobile btw)
[Rant/Rave] When you're more addicted to food than nicotine
/u/autotrapqueen [5'7.5| CW 131.8 | 20.19 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 4 22:52:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y5stz/when_youre_more_addicted_to_food_than_nicotine/
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I got paid a little extra for a job than I was expecting so I treated myself after some studying today. I was gonna get chipotle and pick up a pack of cigs. But I didn't really want to spend the money or drive to both places (hate city driving) so I made myself choose one. Of course my fatass chose chipotle cause brown rice, beans, fajita veg, salsas, corn, guac, lettuce is god tier.
I guess it was technically the "healthy" choice but now I really want cigs and even though that bowl was all I ate today now I'm wide awake anxious af and need to ignore this food baby so I can get some sleep before classes tomorrow.
I'm a mess, I just wanna be less obsessed over food. I think about it all the time and stress over it so much, it's exhausting.
[Rant/Rave] Over three months, down the drain.
/u/sloggingon [M 5'6" | CW 😷 | GW 117]
Created: Mon Sep 4 22:36:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y5q4y/over_three_months_down_the_drain/
---
Literally. I hadn't purged since May, even though I've been tempted to so many times. (plenty of binges since then but who's counting lol) After a lot of overeating and some binging over labor day weekend, I finally cracked and reset that counter. Instant relief. I don't know how I stayed clean for so long.
Rationally I know I should feel like garbage, especially since I had been doing pretty well prior to this weekend and b/p'ing is a great way to sabotage that, plus when I purge my binges get so much worse since I know I won't have to deal with the discomfort too long. I feel really good, though, and that kind of scares me.
(Also, hello, I've been lurking here for a month or so and finally made an alt to post and comment. I don't consider myself to have an eating disorder and have never been diagnosed with one, but I've struggled with various disordered behaviors off and on for 2-3 years now. This community and all of you are so caring and supportive of everyone, it's really great.)
[Goal] me hitting my unrealistic goal weight this autumn
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 4 22:27:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y5ohb/me_hitting_my_unrealistic_goal_weight_this_autumn/
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https://i.redd.it/v25v6xnwrzjz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Sometimes I feel like I don't belong in the community
/u/dancingblobfish
Created: Mon Sep 4 22:13:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y5m22/sometimes_i_feel_like_i_dont_belong_in_the/
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My weight loss have been so slow it often makes me feel like I don't belong in the community. It's taken me over a year to lose 40 pounds because I tried recovery a few months ago and that fucked up my weight loss.
[Rant/Rave] Rant/rave how to help loose belly skin???
/u/tresliz [5"7 | [redacted] | [redacted] | ~30 lost | F]
Created: Mon Sep 4 21:28:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y5dgl/rantrave_how_to_help_loose_belly_skin/
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I am not going to be ashamed anymore and not post my weight. I am 210 as of today and 1 month ago I was 226ish.
I used to be seriously skinny, to the point where I was almost put in a clinic, but I was already in a psych ward at the time sooo... yeah.
Over 2 years I gained 120 lbs from both depression and my horrible evil medication that made me voracious all the time... Zyprexa can SUCK IT. I still did ED shit, but it never worked.
Now I'm on new meds. And I can just starve and starve and starve and I hardly feel it. Almost been a year on the new meds, and I'm doing really well emotionally, but my ED is back full force. I love it and I hate it. I've gone from 245 to 210, and 15 of those lbs have dropped over the last couple weeks alone. So, yeah, I'm addicted.
Anyway...
My skin is starting to sag and wrinkle. And I'm scared to lose more weight. My belly will never be the same. But is there anything I can do to stop my skin from getting so loose??? I feel like my body dysmorphia is only going to get WORSE as I lose weight because of my stupid huge fat belly.
[Discussion] Potentially stupid question, but does anyone else constantly consider dieting healthily but then ED habits kick that idea right outta the window?
/u/TheThirdCloneOfXyxl
Created: Mon Sep 4 20:49:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y55oo/potentially_stupid_question_but_does_anyone_else/
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Lately all I can think is that eating 1200 calories/day (I know, cliché) would definitely help me feel better both mentally and physically.
Butttt when I seriously consider doing it my brain hisses at me and screams that I've fucked up my metabolism (which I know I haven't) and I'll gain at 1200.
[Rant/Rave] Finally gave in to my ED..
/u/enoshima-junkochan
Created: Mon Sep 4 20:34:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y52nx/finally_gave_in_to_my_ed/
---
[removed]
[Thinspo] 70's inspired thinspo album
/u/CoconutTime [5'4 | 128lbs | 22 | binger | f]
Created: Mon Sep 4 20:32:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y52dd/70s_inspired_thinspo_album/
---
https://imgur.com/a/k1E9b
[Discussion] Easier to restrict in front of friends??
/u/skydiver89
Created: Mon Sep 4 20:30:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y520b/easier_to_restrict_in_front_of_friends/
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I feel like when I'm with friends it's easier for me to restrict because it shows them I'm in control of my eating. But when I am alone I just binge like crazy. I need to start hanging out with people more! I feel like I can only take a few bites in front of people. Does anyone else do the same?
[Rant/Rave] I gave in
/u/SqizzyMcDingleBerry
Created: Mon Sep 4 19:56:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y4vdi/i_gave_in/
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Oh man I've been doing so well restricting and feeling so proud of myself then today I gave in to my cravings for salty fries. I feel horrible even though I ran 9km this morning and will be riding my bike to work later today. It's such a struggle to tell myself "it's only one meal. It will be fine." The weather is so beautiful and I'm curled up in my bed hiding from I'm not sure what. Does anyone else constantly beat themselves up for small slips that really are no big deal? I'm new to this subreddit, first time poster.
EDIT: on my cellphone so no flair
[Rant/Rave] I feel like a balloon 🎈🙃😔
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Mon Sep 4 19:47:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y4tfh/i_feel_like_a_balloon/
---
Go ahead indentionsofme, have a binge week, you deserve it, it's your last week before school(stupid brain) fml
I feel and look like I have gained 10-15 lbs, my pants that were lose a week ago are skin tight I feel horrible and I hate myself for doing this😔what a great way to start the year as a fat slob.
My abdomen is sooooooooo swollen, I want to die.
Yet I'm still going to eat the Hershey's symphony bar I have because I hate myself and need to have it.
I want to cry I need to feel slim again
[Help] Where do you guys buy clothing?
/u/justalittlesmaller [5'2" | 98 | 17.9 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 4 19:45:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y4t3p/where_do_you_guys_buy_clothing/
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I work in a professional field and I am having the HARDEST time finding clothing that fits. Please let me know where you girls buy your office clothing! My biggest issue is my 22 inch waist and the fact that 00 petite clothing is too short (pants and dresses) and no stores in Canada seem to carry 00 regular. Thanks in advance!
[Rant/Rave] Just spent hours making a creamy dreamy curry for my lunches and I'm shocked!
/u/awayawaydown [c: 17.2 | g: 16.3]
Created: Mon Sep 4 19:37:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y4rj5/just_spent_hours_making_a_creamy_dreamy_curry_for/
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I didn't look up the calories beforehand because I knew all the ingredients were pretty low-cal and the final result should roughly shake out at 200-250 per hefty serving. After I finished the curry, it smelled so good. I tried a bite and wanted to eat a nice serving, and I had enough left over to do so.
I went to check if it would fit in under my goal. GUYS, for a cup and a half of filling spicy creamy curry, IT WAS ONLY 145 CALORIES.
I ate a bowl of it and feel so warm and cozy and spicy. It's vegan but so savory and tasty. For the curious, here's the recipe: https://recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-detail.asp?recipe=1197768
(It wouldn't have taken me so long to make, but I am a meticulous vegetable chopper...)
EDIT: Had a bowl for lunch today and it tasted SO. GOOD. I was full up and didn't feel ravenous all afternoon. Must be all the fibrous cauliflower!
[Help] How to get over hell weekends?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 4 19:26:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y4pe8/how_to_get_over_hell_weekends/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] finally a size 28... a size closer to a perfect weight and body!
/u/coffeebean27
Created: Mon Sep 4 19:14:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y4mna/finally_a_size_28_a_size_closer_to_a_perfect/
---
https://i.redd.it/hmvavrimtyjz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] The Cheerleader Effect doesn't even work for me
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 4 18:54:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y4iof/the_cheerleader_effect_doesnt_even_work_for_me/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] If you had $100-150 to spend at Target....
/u/ilovehotdogsforever [5'6| ~145 | GW: 112 |24y/o | F]
Created: Mon Sep 4 18:02:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y47v6/if_you_had_100150_to_spend_at_target/
---
what would you get, specifically to assist with weight loss? Exercise equipment? Food? Fitness tracker? New workout clothes? I got a bunch of gift cards for my birthday and I'm trying to budget wisely :'D
[Discussion] Restriction meltdowns? I become unhinged. Please share your insight with me if you have any.
/u/2fckk
Created: Mon Sep 4 18:00:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y47gb/restriction_meltdowns_i_become_unhinged_please/
---
I miss the control of giving into my eating disorder. I want to go back so so so so bad. The one thing stopping me is the mental fall out. When I've been restricting for a while (a week is enough but months make me insane), my mental state deteriorates tremendously.
Paranoia: I don't "believe" anything my boyfriend says. I don't believe his love for me, I don't believe that he is where he says he is, I don't believe who he is texting. My boyfriend has NEVER given me a reason not to trust him and in fact has been the MOST open and transparent boyfriend. AND he is obsessed w me, all eyes on me, glorifies me, etc. Like, my paranoia is purely illogical. And I tell myself this. But then my misplaced paranoia slips into reality. I begin to shoot him "looks" and I'm short with him. I cop him an attitude constantly. I pick fights. I break down and cry and refuse to tell him whats wrong and say ridiculous things like "you know what's wrong". Luckily my BF knows about my ED and he's beyond patient with me. He never snaps back, he takes so much of my shit, and he forgives me and says "I know you didn't mean it" when I apologize profusely. But it's like....what the fuck is wrong with me? Restriction actually makes me believes FALSEHOODS. To the point where I act on those thoughts.
Socially: I begin to take social cues the wrong way. I think people look at me like I'm "annoying" or "weird". I shut down easily and my confidence is SHATTERED. I can barely make eye contact, I feel like a child, I over-analyze snapchats and text messages. I feel so alone, like everyone is out there LIVING and I'm withering away alone.
Family: I'm just a straight up bitch to family members. A cold bitch. Someday my parents will die and, what?, I'm gonna say "yeah, I really took advantage of the time I had with them by starving myself to oblivion and telling them to fuck off when they just wanted to have a convo with their daughter." Fuck me.
Generally: school, work, the gym, etc. everything becomes unbearable. Life becomes unbearable and I quickly become a dark, suicide-IDEALIZING (not intent) person. Like, even something as simple as driving home from work is a detached experience. I feel........I don't know....just so "off". But I feel "in control". LOL.
I know this is all a result of undernourishment because when I eat "normally" for a couple of weeks, my world becomes happier, brighter, more hopeful, etc. I reciprocate my boyfriend's love with no bullshit, I reach out to friends and make plans, I speak up at work with confidence, I crack jokes, etc. BUT I'M DEAD INSIDE BECAUSE I FEEL FAT SO I GO BACK TO RESTRICTING UNTIL I FEEL OKAY INSIDE AGAIN BUT I'M ACTUALLY STILL DEAD INSIDE BECAUSE NOW I'M 'SKINNY' BUT 'NOT SKINNY ENOUGH' AND MY THOUGHTS GET SCATTERED AND IT'S NEVER ENDING OMG.
How do you restrict but also live a normal mental life? I must give up this ED for the sake of my relationships if for nothing else.
[Rant/Rave] I want to cry. How can I gain this much in a weekend??
/u/napalmlife_ [5'6" | 104 | 16.78 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 4 17:25:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y40we/i_want_to_cry_how_can_i_gain_this_much_in_a/
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Ugh. Whenever I spend a long weekend with my boyfriend's family I binge like crazy. I just got back to my dorm this evening after spending labor day weekend at his family's house. I weighed myself and the scale says 105....I weighed 102 on friday. I know this isn't a giant leap but I am FREAKING out. I am also so hungry and my lower abdomen in bloated as fuck and I hate it. I want to cry....I don't know if I'll be able to restrict this week because I'm so fucking hungry... has anyone else ever gained like fuck over just a few days??
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Mon Sep 4 17:06:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y3wum/daily_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/gr337iwq6yjz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I restrict because I feel hopeless, and I shoplift because I feel deprived
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 4 16:54:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y3ubl/i_restrict_because_i_feel_hopeless_and_i_shoplift/
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At least I'm not doing drugs, right?
When I restrict, I feel high but at the same time, I feel like I'm depriving myself. So in order to make that feeling go away, I shoplift things I don't need. I take things that are beautiful or that will make me feel beautiful. And after it all, I still feel kind of empty and anxious.
[Other] Group C25K
/u/kaylastiel [5'6 | CW: 140 | BMI: 22.6 | -40lbs | F]
Created: Mon Sep 4 16:33:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y3puv/group_c25k/
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Would anybody be interested in doing a group Couch to 5k with me here on /r/ProED??
It'd be a good motivation and I'd love to get more involved with you all!!
[Help] Lax question from someone who never uses them...
/u/stinkyfern
Created: Mon Sep 4 16:12:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y3lgn/lax_question_from_someone_who_never_uses_them/
---
It says "relief in 6-12 hours", does that mean it'll all be over in 12 hours? It's 6 PM now, I'm waking up at 6 AM tomorrow for a very long day where I can't be needing to shit through it.
[Rant/Rave] "Do you want to try these herbal weight pills? Since you're so fat?"
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW 145.0 | UGW 105 | 24/F]
Created: Mon Sep 4 15:37:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y3dv3/do_you_want_to_try_these_herbal_weight_pills/
---
"I found these old Chinese herb pills in your great-grandmother's things. Wanna try them? You're fat enough."
Yes, Mom, haha, so funny. You're joking and yet you know I have an ED history. You don't know how much, but you know there was something. You also know I have depression and extreme self-consciousness.
But please. Joke about my weight that I hate myself for every single day. Then wonder why I 'won't feel well enough for dinner tonight'.
Jesus, how can caring people be so blind sometimes?
[Rant/Rave] My arm is too small for the smallest adult blood pressure cuff.
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Mon Sep 4 14:48:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y32ji/my_arm_is_too_small_for_the_smallest_adult_blood/
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My upper arm is child-sized. I can't explain how good this has made me feel.
[Help] need advice with online friend
/u/lD0NTKNOW
Created: Mon Sep 4 14:44:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y31pt/need_advice_with_online_friend/
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hey guys so I don't know if this is the correct sub.. please let me know if it isn't but I would really appreciate to get some advice.
I have met a girl online who has bulimia and to be honest I have no idea how to react / deal with this. She doesn't live in the same country so I have never met her in real live. We do Skype quite often though. She told me herself that she has bulimia but every time I try to talk about it she blocks.. I try to be understanding and tell her she can come to me when she wants to but I can't just ignore it until it's to late :( I just don't know if it will make it better or worse if i try to talk to her regularly about it.. Unfortunately I don't know anybody in her live so I can't contact anybody..
Any advice would be appreciated. thanks
[Discussion] Anyone else watch Supersize vs Superskinny?
/u/TeenyBeanieWeenie [5'6 (66 in)| 127 lbs| 20 BMI | - 3| F]
Created: Mon Sep 4 14:44:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y31oa/anyone_else_watch_supersize_vs_superskinny/
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Tons of episodes are up on Youtube. The premise of the show is they take an overweight and underweight person and switch their diets for a couple of days. To me this works as reverse thinspo as well as thinspo, listening to each person explain their eating habits. Although they do tell both participants their diets are bad for them, they focus on the overweight person 300% more.
I understand this might be harmful or triggering to some people however for me it's wonderful to watch, quite the appetite suppressant.
[Help] I really need this community's help
/u/racer231
Created: Mon Sep 4 14:35:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y2zkk/i_really_need_this_communitys_help/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] "Like A Little Girl"
/u/skelle-constellation [5'6" | 142 | 22.9 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 4 14:20:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y2w17/like_a_little_girl/
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My boyfriend knows about my ED. He doesn't like it but he's given up on trying to help. So I've given up trying to hide it from him.
We were lying in bed this morning and I was looking at thinspo on my phone. He looked over my shoulder and I said "Isn't she beautiful?"
He said "She's pretty but she has no figure. She looks like a little girl."
That's what I want. I want to look like a 5 foot 6 inch toddler. This is sick but I see little kids walking around, and I'm actually jealous of their bodies. They just look so innocent and clean and I just want that.
I guess part of me wants that childhood back that was violently taken from me.
I don't want to look like a woman. I don't want curves and an ass. I want straight flat nothing. I want that innocence back.
[Rant/Rave] Really digging my chest and collarbones today ♡
/u/allkindsofnewyou [5'2 | 95 | BMI 17 | F ]
Created: Mon Sep 4 13:49:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y2ox0/really_digging_my_chest_and_collarbones_today/
---
https://imgur.com/sohrynQ
[Help] Low cal options at Chipotle?!
/u/squishysponges [18F|5'5"|GW 110]
Created: Mon Sep 4 13:48:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y2op0/low_cal_options_at_chipotle/
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My boyfriend wants to go to chipotle for dinner, what are my low cal and yummy options?? I've only had coffee with about 90 cals of creamer today
There's an hour and a half left of my 3.5 hour flight home. Anyone wanna talk?
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ 158 ☀️ 🍑 is same as here]
Created: Mon Sep 4 13:41:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y2mw7/theres_an_hour_and_a_half_left_of_my_35_hour/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] With autumn quickly approaching, all I want is to still look thin while still wearing a baggy sweater; this is my thinspiration album
/u/sneakykeykey [5'4" | SW:150 | CW: 125 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 4 13:07:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y2ez0/with_autumn_quickly_approaching_all_i_want_is_to/
---
https://imgur.com/gallery/5toen
[Discussion] Anyone else go from being really thin, to gaining a bunch, and trying to get back to thin again?
/u/tinywolfxo
Created: Mon Sep 4 12:28:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y25uv/anyone_else_go_from_being_really_thin_to_gaining/
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So the first time I started ed behaviors, I was in middle school/high school. My highest weight then was 132 pounds at 5'4", and by my late teens/ early twenties, my weight floated between 100-110 for several years, the lowest weight I hit was 97 pounds after a bad breakup (the only plus to all that mess). Now I'm in my mid twenties and I had let myself balloon all the way up to 162 pounds 😫. Since January I've come back down to 128 and I'm struggling to get back down to at least 108. I just want to know if anyone has a similar story! Tell me your journey! 💗
[Rant/Rave] Feeling hopeless, wish I could disappear
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Mon Sep 4 12:26:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y25ac/feeling_hopeless_wish_i_could_disappear/
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So I'm in a fucked up "maintenance," high deficit weekdays, high surplus weekends. All was ok until a month ago when I started to get insane bloating om weekends. This past week it happened before I even started refeeding. My thighs were so huge I could barely walk. I laid in bed all day yesterday eating (you know gotta get to maintenance, F that) and bloating so much my skin was sore and I could barely see past my eyelids. The weird thing this time is it happened before even eating, I've lost all control! I can't even prepare for bloat because apparently now it just happens whenever. Weekends used to be my freedom from this shit and now they are going to be the source of even more anxiety. No, mom, I can't just eat more consistently, no one gets it. I slept 12 hours and woke up less bloated. I wanted to just lay around and eat but nope...off to do 3 hours of cardio because I've forgotten how to not spend all day exercising. I'm exhausted but the messed up part...if the swelling would stop I'm cool continuing my past pattern. Any tips for feeding bloat? Any tips for when you just want to disappear and no one gets it?!?
[Discussion] When does your calorie counting start?
/u/tacehtelle [5"7 | 119.5 | 18.65 :( | 6.5 lbs :( | Female]
Created: Mon Sep 4 12:04:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y200w/when_does_your_calorie_counting_start/
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Lets say you start your binge at 11:45 on a Friday and you finish your binge at 12:31 on a Saturday. Do you count that all as Saturday or all as Friday? Or do you count all of the food after 12 as Saturday and all the food before as Friday?
[Rant/Rave] Please just tell me I am going to be ok.
/u/sp_600 [5'7🌻107🌻16.8🌻20f]
Created: Mon Sep 4 11:41:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y1ukp/please_just_tell_me_i_am_going_to_be_ok/
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So I binged HARD this weekend. ~10,000 cal over the past two days. Scale says i am 115 lbs. I gained EIGHT lbs in TWO days.
This isn't the first time this has happened. Still, I am devastated. I think i look pregnant. Oh god. I should have gained less than 2 lbs of fat. Oh god. When will this weight come off.
Fml
I feel so full after like 300 cal hahaha
/u/tresliz [5"7 | [redacted] | [redacted] | ~30 lost | F]
Created: Mon Sep 4 11:23:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y1q8x/i_feel_so_full_after_like_300_cal_hahaha/
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I just finished a protein shake and 2 jello fruit cups and my stomach feels full... man my stomach must be tiny after 3 weeks of restricting.
Still plateaud. Hoping to be down another 15 by Halloween :o I managed 15 in 13 days (!) so I think I gave plenty of time...
[Help] Does anyone know the calories in IKEA strawberry tart
/u/throwaway762905
Created: Mon Sep 4 11:19:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y1pa9/does_anyone_know_the_calories_in_ikea_strawberry/
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I went to IKEA today and ate half a slice of the strawberry tart there & I can't seem to find any info, I'd appreciate the help!
[Discussion] Anyone have an oddly fat face?
/u/Bibisniff
Created: Mon Sep 4 11:12:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y1ni7/anyone_have_an_oddly_fat_face/
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I've been teeny tiny underweight and v overweight (pregnancy) I'm a 'normal healthy weight' I'd obviously like to be thinner.
At any weight however - and this is not my ED talking my chin has always been so huge like I have this load of extra flesh on the underside of my chin and as I'm getting older it's getting worse.
Anyone else??
[Discussion] September 4th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 4 11:11:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y1n82/september_4th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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Where do you see yourself in five years?
[Discussion] Rolling over calories
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1.5" | cw 159 | gw 145 | -11]
Created: Mon Sep 4 11:06:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y1m75/rolling_over_calories/
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Does anyone do this? I've decided to set my daily goal as 600 cal/day. If I go over, I'm basically in debt the next day. It's been super helpful for me so far, but it's only been a couple of weeks. I find it's helping a lot specifically with the perfectionism issues I have. So like, if I go over today, normally I'd just lose it and make it a binge day because it's already ruined. Instead I log it all with the intention of making it average out over the next few days. I've only "binged" a couple of times and it helped me stay mindful during the binge knowing that each bite was putting me further in "calorie debt."
Anyway it's been really helpful for me so far so I wanted to share :)
[Goal] actually liked? how my hips looked in my jeans today???
/u/skelle-constellation [5'6" | 142 | 22.9 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 4 10:53:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y1j17/actually_liked_how_my_hips_looked_in_my_jeans/
---
https://i.redd.it/dflys6h8cwjz.jpg
[Other] When you're restricting really hard and your skin starts looking like a peach got into a fist fight with Floyd Mayweather
/u/skelle-constellation [5'6" | 142 | 22.9 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 4 10:51:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y1ilu/when_youre_restricting_really_hard_and_your_skin/
---
https://i.redd.it/a7z0bbsqbwjz.jpg
[Other] Ed instagram?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 4 09:54:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y152m/ed_instagram/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Anyone else use poshmark?
/u/tinydancer2525
Created: Mon Sep 4 09:43:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y12ho/anyone_else_use_poshmark/
---
[Help] Gram to cups? Dumb American
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 19bmi | -140 | 30F | AU]
Created: Mon Sep 4 09:36:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y1157/gram_to_cups_dumb_american/
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American living in Australia...
Apparently even though I’ve talked about needing a kitchen scale for MONTHS maybe a year I can’t get a kitchen scale
(Reason I’d like one is that everything here is measured out in grams not like, cups and obviously there’s no one universal gram weight because nothing is the same consistency or weight)
Now I can’t get one because “YOU DONT NEED TO LOSE MORE WEIGHT” and I wasn’t going to push that argument that turns into a screaming match for some fucking reason
I'd buy one myself but nothing is cheap here and we are strapped..
(At least there's at app for kj to cal)
[Rant/Rave] Fucking Holiday Weekend
/u/thefreckledfox_ [5'8" | 170.6lbs | 25.66 | -48.4lbs | F | GW: dainty]
Created: Mon Sep 4 09:01:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y0t4a/fucking_holiday_weekend/
---
Party with friends Saturday night, 350 calories in alcohol
Brunch with BF Sunday, ate only half my plate and still clocked 300 calories
Labor Day picnic with BF's family Sunday afternoon, his grandma was literally refilling my plate as I ate. Insisted I was stuffed and didn't have alcohol or dessert and threw away a half-full plate, but still probably ate 1000 calories in simple carbs and fatty picnic salads
Woke up this morning +4lbs
I feel miserable and pathetic. Bf tried to make us breakfast but I told him I'm not hungry and am only having coffee and tea til the scale goes back down, whenever the fuck that is
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Breaking out of a binge FINALLY!
/u/theloneravioli
Created: Mon Sep 4 08:57:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y0s9z/rant_breaking_out_of_a_binge_finally/
---
*Apologies for no flair-on mobile*
So, I have essentially been on a month-long binge since I came back from a concert at the end of July. August has sucked harder than a Hoover and I'm so ashamed of the things I've put in my body. The most embarrassing so far has to be this - in one sitting I ate an entire family sized bag of plain Ruffles, a regular bag of flaming hot Ruffles, half a regular bag of sour cream and cheddar Ruffles (all of it being dipped in "crack dip", a sour cream and bacon and cheese monstrosity. We're talking at least five cups worth of dip here). And for dessert? Two cans of RAW honey butter biscuits alternating with half a bag of s'mores cereal with whole fat milk. And I still wasn't done. Of course I needed four packs of pumpkin spice oatmeal with a whole stick of butter split between them. But wait, there's more! Three toasted fried egg sandwiches with two eggs a piece slathered in mayo and sriracha. Ugh. Not to mention that every day I've been eating a huge breakfast at my employee dining hall. Disgusting.
It seems that there is light at the end of this tunnel though. I refused breakfast today and subbed for a huge tervis cup of plain chai tea. The very thought of eating is making me feel nauseated and ashamed. I think I'm back on track to lose this goddamn forty pounds that I haven't been able to shake for the last two years. My birthday is next month and for once, I want to feel confident and enjoy having my picture taken. I want to be happy.
Anyone reading this, I hope you're having a fantastic day and that you accomplish what you set out to do. Thank you for your time ❤️
[Goal] I can't wait to get skinny
/u/ashirun97
Created: Mon Sep 4 08:48:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y0qje/i_cant_wait_to_get_skinny/
---
I feel like I'm finally in the right mindset for this. It's almost like a game, seeing how long I can go without binging. For once, I'm excited to take each day on because I want it to be another binge free day. I want my calorie log to be neat and clean, without any overages.
I'm so excited to finally drop these last ten pounds and be skinny for the fall and winter. I want slim little legs sticking out of big comfy boots and socks. I want to look hot as fuck in holiday dresses.
I miss being at my goal weight- the way literally everything looked good on me. Shopping was *fun*
I'm sticking to it this time. I'm done being a messy, irresponsible binge-eating little girl and ready to be a hot, in-control fierce as fuck bitch.
[Discussion] Does anybody else spend a good part of their day looking at food pics?
/u/hypernovae1511
Created: Mon Sep 4 08:30:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y0mv5/does_anybody_else_spend_a_good_part_of_their_day/
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Looking food wishing so bad you were eating that doesn't make you fat... right??!!
[Help] Guys, I've been holding on good but now I really want to eat the cake that's in fridge : ( Talk me out of it [Help]
/u/darksoulsfan69
Created: Mon Sep 4 07:43:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y0dr4/guys_ive_been_holding_on_good_but_now_i_really/
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Binging is a vicious circle difficult to escape from
/u/hypernovae1511
Created: Mon Sep 4 06:23:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6y0081/binging_is_a_vicious_circle_difficult_to_escape/
---
https://i.redd.it/n8laqgn10vjz.png
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! September 04, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Sep 4 06:14:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xzyvz/weekly_stats_update_september_04_2017/
---
This is the weekly status thread for September 04, 2017.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! September 04, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Sep 4 06:14:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xzyv4/daily_food_diary_september_04_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 04, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Help] Working out and eating at a deficit but gaining weight!
/u/seoulsum [F]
Created: Mon Sep 4 03:55:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xzfrb/working_out_and_eating_at_a_deficit_but_gaining/
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Intro:
I struggle with binge eating and purging. I've gained 6kg (~13lbs) over the course of a year. Most of it during exam prep time which is 2-3 months in total every year ... I've told myself that it's ok as long as I stop purging and that it would be great if I stopped binging.
I wanted to lose that weight but couldn't stop binging the last few months ... but I cut back on the purging (after exceeding my record over abd over again).
I used to lose weight eating 1200 calories a day two years ago for almost a year before I started binging. I put on weight preparing for my first exams at uni which was ok because I just went back to 1200 (and sometimes 800 calories) a day. Then I started binge purging and gained those 6kg.
The Problem:
Two weeks ago, I started going to the gym whenever possible after a couple months of lying around at home. I counted every calorie I ate and tracked the calories burned with my fitbit alta HR.
Here's my data:
Week 1: weight 61.7kg
https://imgur.com/bkp6fqF
I should have lost 0.5kg (~1.16lbs).
Week 2: weight 62.5kg
https://imgur.com/O3Khtlu
Binged 4 days ... but I should have lost 0.1kg (~0.2lbs)
After week 2: weight 62.2kg
I am gaining despite restricting and working out! I should have at least stayed the same if I take into account that I could retain water due to exercising, right? Eating low carb for 2 days didn't help, neither did pooping ._. I can't focus at all and feel lethargic and sleepy after working out on days I plan and successfully eat at a 1000 calorie deficit so there's no way I should have gained in the first week!
Does anyone know what I'm doing wrong?
I'm laying in my bed right know and and don't have the motivation to go to the gym or do anything ... It doesn't seem like it'll work anyway. Uni starts soon ...
I'm desperate. I'm sorry. Please tell me what I'm doing wrong.
TLDR:
Started working out after a 1-2 month break. Counting calories and eat at a deficit. Gaining weight. What's wrong with me?
[Other] So glad ED stole my period, 'cause DAMN this shit be complicated...
/u/FastPhoria [5'10 | 126 | 18.1 / 17.6 | GW: 119 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 4 02:46:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xz6zt/so_glad_ed_stole_my_period_cause_damn_this_shit/
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https://i.redd.it/848ntnefxtjz.jpg
[Other] So glad ED stole my period, 'cause damn this shit be complicated...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 4 02:45:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xz6qn/so_glad_ed_stole_my_period_cause_damn_this_shit/
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https://imgur.com/gallery/8PG1N
[Help] Boyfriend is making me close to re-lapse
/u/extemely_basic [5'7 |Don't ask don't tell | GW 115lbs | -40lbs | Female]
Created: Mon Sep 4 01:20:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xyvc5/boyfriend_is_making_me_close_to_relapse/
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Where to start...I had a terrible relationship with food to the point of being diagnosed with EDNOS as a teen. Since that's a pretty vague diagnosis, for detail, I'd basically yo-yo crazily by about 50lbs every 6 months or so. It's been a few years of dealing with this and I've finally gotten myself to a fairly stable routine - my yo-yos are in the 10-15lb range and always in my healthy weight range which is manageable for me, and I eat more or less normally (not easy for me to do even now, but I do it).
I've been dating my bf for almost a year now. He was and still is severely underweight. He throws up fairly regularly, and I'm lucky to see him eat enough to even maintain his weight. He attributes this to stress, and I want to believe him because he doesn't have the typical traits of an ED sufferer (perfectionism, bingeing, obsession) so I've come to conclude that he has instead some sort of GI disorder.
But here's where the problems start. Firstly, he's done near-nothing to fix said problems. He's constantly telling me that he is close to fixing things, but again, it's been almost a year of this now and he's still underweight, and has done nothing more than bought an appetite enhancer which I haven't seen make any real difference anyways. Whenever I'm not around he claims to be eating quite a bit but in person I never see him do so. I do a lot to be supportive, I cook nearly all of his meals and I cook very healthy and with his sensitive stomach in mind, and I let him know how happy I am when I do see him eating a full meal.
But getting to my point, I feel selfish for even admitting it, but it's a huge problem for me because I am struggling really badly to eat normally around this man. Just seeing his skinny body makes me feel so ashamed of myself. I feel embarrassed to eat more than him even when I know in my head that I'm eating a healthy amount of food. I feel embarrassed to be both heavier and shorter than him. Just him being in this state makes me feel so gross, huge and unattractive that I am really struggling to keep my own eating habits in check.
It just feels like a lose-lose to me at this point. I love him until the ends of the world, but not only does he make me feel incompetent in keeping him fed and healthy, but I'm losing my own grasp of my recovery as well and quite frankly I have no idea what to do. I certainly don't want to even consider leaving him. I've tried talking to him about his eating habits (not about how they affect me, I think that'd come off as very self-centered) and that I would really like him to see a doctor and/or get some help...
...I don't think he realizes just how much this tears me apart on the inside. When I was away from him for awhile I was doing super well in terms of recovery, now when I look at food I feel nothing but shame. Even just walking around with him, I feel ashamed to be so much bigger than he is. I can't take it anymore!!
[Rant/Rave] I Hate How So Much Of ED Treatment Is Focused on "Health at Every Size" and the Body Positivity Movement.
/u/whimsicalfae776 [Height 5'3 | CW 103 | HW 120 | LW 90| "GW" 108]
Created: Mon Sep 4 00:44:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xyq4l/i_hate_how_so_much_of_ed_treatment_is_focused_on/
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Health at Every Size is complete and utter bullshit. Health risk goes up when you're underweight. Health risk goes up when you're overweight. End of story. The focus of recovery shouldn't be "it's okay no matter what weight you're at" because that is a fucking lie. If your weight doesn't matter, then why express so much concern over being underweight? It's hypocritical. Stop telling recovering ED sufferers that it's okay to be fat as long as they're eating ~intuitively~. It's not. IMO treatment instead should be taking the approach of "Underweight is bad. Overweight is bad. However, the goal we have for you is neither of those. Objectively, you're not overweight. You're fine." Also in the event of someone eating "intuitively", becoming overweight and feeling insecure about it, help them get back down to a healthy weight SAFELY. By doing that instead of trying to force them to accept being overweight, you're preventing relapse. In my experience it's not uncommon for this to happen and when concerns are brought to a therapist, they're told about "set points" and "self love" instead of the truth. This then leads them to take matters into their own hands and revert back to really unhealthy eating patterns. Additionally, not all bodies are beautiful. Actually, I would assert that probably 70% of them(including mine) aren't. Not everyone can be beautiful in the same way that not everyone can have a high IQ, be talented creatively, or be good at sports. However, that's okay because everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. Instead of saying "everyone is beautiful" say "beauty isn't everything" because it isn't. It can play a large role in life. There's no doubt about that. Though, the same could be said for every trait. The whole "Body Positivity" movement pisses me off so much because it's built on a lie and continues to promote the false societal narrative that beauty is everything. So what if someone's body isn't beautiful? Olympic athletes generally aren't 10/10s(look at rebecca adlington) but their bodies can do some pretty awesome shit. Marie Curie and Frieda Khalo were both ugly but look how successful they became and the wonderful contributions to society they made. The point is that beauty isn't a prerequisite to a happy, successful, life. You also don't need to think you're beautiful in order to have a high self-esteem. It may help, but no more than intelligence, charisma, or talent will. We need to stop equating women's worth with their beauty and forcing people to deny facts.
[Rant/Rave] Football game then a sleepover - rambling/rant
/u/dancingblobfish
Created: Mon Sep 4 00:34:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xyooh/football_game_then_a_sleepover_ramblingrant/
---
So I went to my schools football game Friday, and I did so well at the game. I only drank Diet Coke or water. Then, after the game one of my friends offered for us to stay at their place. When we were there, they had potato chips, ice cream, brownies (edibles), and pizza. My friend had known about my eating disorder but I told them I've recovered (obviously that's a lie), so I ate and broke my fast at 29 hours. I still feel so fat from Friday and it's now Monday morning (3 am)!
[Rant/Rave] Why does this group have a 'thinspo' flair when one of the rules is "Don't Glamorise ED's" ??
/u/slick519
Created: Mon Sep 4 00:16:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xym4t/why_does_this_group_have_a_thinspo_flair_when_one/
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[removed]
[Other] Food Poisoning
/u/RedditRanOutOfNamess [5'9 | GW: 120 | -15 | F21]
Created: Sun Sep 3 23:57:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xyj97/food_poisoning/
---
[removed]
[Other] It's like a flip just switched...
/u/ilostmynarwhal [5'8" | 130 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 3 22:43:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xy7f5/its_like_a_flip_just_switched/
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Though I've never been overweight I've always been prone to binging. It's always been a struggle to not overeat. But a few weeks ago something just changed and now I can easily go a full day without eating at all. For a while I had to eat because i was living with my family for the summer, but since class started last week I dropped 7 pounds.
For now it's easy to hide from my boyfriend. We're both students, so we're in and out of our apartment all day. It's easy enough to say "oh I already ate" or "I'm going to eat on campus", and then I just eat a small dinner with him. This might get harder as I continue to lose weight, but I'll deal with that later.
[Help] Physical Check-up
/u/rashdecisions61917 [5'6 | CW: 146.4 | GW: 130 | 20F]
Created: Sun Sep 3 22:40:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xy6uw/physical_checkup/
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Hey everyone, this is my first time posting but I've been lurking on this sub for a bit now. I absolutely love how supportive and encouraging everyone is and I was hoping ya'll could help me out. So my psychologist wants me to get a physical done because she is concerned about my restricting/purging. I've never had a physical before so I'm a bit nervous as to what I should expect? As you can see from my flair, I'm by no means underweight, sadly, so I'm not concerned about my weight being flagged by my doctor, I just have literally no idea what they do when you go for a physical. So if someone could give me a low-down on what generally happens, I would really appreciate it!!
[Discussion] Anyone else only eat soft foods...?
/u/tresliz [5"7 | [redacted] | [redacted] | ~30 lost | F]
Created: Sun Sep 3 22:21:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xy3nq/anyone_else_only_eat_soft_foods/
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My diet consists of mostly just sweet, bland foods that are soft - jello fruit cups, protein shakes, pudding cups, pureed soup, broth, tea, etc. The only solids I eat are *maybe* soup that's got solid veggies in it, rice cakes, cookies, cheese, potato chips, popcorn...
That's about all I eat, that's a pretty inclusive list.
I'm scared of solid food. I'm scared if I have solids in me I'll get fat and stay fat. I like to stay hungry. Liquids and soft foods help me stay hungry while keeping my energy up.
I know I shouldn't be eating so much sugar but I can't even bring myself to eat raw carrots because I have to chew them so much. I kinda feel like a malnourished skinny is what I want and what I'm going to get with these junk foods.
Am I alone here? :\
Couldn't fit these shorts a month ago. Shit I've got a ways to go.
/u/tresliz [5"7 | [redacted] | [redacted] | ~30 lost | F]
Created: Sun Sep 3 22:04:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xy0jd/couldnt_fit_these_shorts_a_month_ago_shit_ive_got/
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https://i.redd.it/4fnomu64jsjz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] My fiance made a "joke".
/u/busterjn
Created: Sun Sep 3 21:53:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xxyex/my_fiance_made_a_joke/
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My fiance doesn't know about my eating habits. We have opposite sleep schedules so he rarely has the chance to see me eat if I do, and I wash the dishes so he doesn't know if I've used any. He knows how I feel about my body, though, as it's hard to hide how self concious I am and how much I hate how I look.
He got back from his mother's house today, and I woke up at 11pm or so. He asked what I ate today as he may order delivery food. I said I'm not really hungry yet, I had some soup for breakfast and tuna and vegetables for lunch though. He said "That's a lot of food". I knew he was kidding, but my heart raced and I felt awful. I didn't know whether to fast or to binge because it hurt a bit. He saw I went quiet and he said he was only kidding. I said I'm disgustingly fat I'm going to be wary of what other people think of what I eat. He ordered me a greek salad because he knows it's my favourite. I said I'll save it for later. I don't think I'm going to eat today.
[Help] Alcohol binges?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 3 21:49:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xxxs7/alcohol_binges/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Tbh I love my period
/u/Polarplaid
Created: Sun Sep 3 21:47:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xxxhj/tbh_i_love_my_period/
---
My parents don't get suspicious of my ED behaviors for 1 whole week! Sometimes I lie about being irregular so I can add a few days at random. Exercising alot at the gym? "I want to get rid of my cramps." Not eating? Blame cramps. Wanna stay in your room? Blame PMS lol. I used to loathe getting my period but now honestly I love it. Dropped 3 lbs this week yaasss. 😆😍
[Rant/Rave] Over my plateau and steadily losing!
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 180lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Sun Sep 3 21:46:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xxx67/over_my_plateau_and_steadily_losing/
---
I feel like those soccer players that score a goal. The scales finally said what I needed. 80kg. After about 2 months of bouncing between 84kg and 82kg I'm finally down to 80kg.
Thank the merciful gods!
[Other] I feel like my grocery picks are so telling 😂
/u/nicfrae [5'7 | BMI 20.0 | GW<115lbs | UGW 98lbs | -77.5lbs | F 24]
Created: Sun Sep 3 21:15:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xxrs0/i_feel_like_my_grocery_picks_are_so_telling/
---
https://i.imgur.com/hvdH2mA.png
[Rant/Rave] When your friend is literally a model.
/u/skeletonne18
Created: Sun Sep 3 20:55:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xxo7o/when_your_friend_is_literally_a_model/
---
I supposed this could be considered a rant.
I've recently reconnected with a friend from Highschool who's been so successful and had jobs for just her looks. Like while away in the city she worked as a host in a club meaning she had to wear booty shirts or lingerie with a corset and a bra for her work hosting, something I wouldn't even wear in my own house by myself cause I'm embraced by my body. Not to mention she got scouted by a photographer for modelling (she was in makeup school wear they had to get a lot of photos taken by pro photographers and she was always chosen by other students to be their model for their stuff too!) and has been in multiple magazines. She's also always the one guys will notice first at the clubs and in town, the one people will check out and girls will compliment and I feel like this ogre when I'm with her. I love her to bits honestly but I'm tired of being THAT friend. I feel bad for saying it but she is somewhat my motivation, my 'goal'. I want the attention, the recognition, the admiration. I want it and I will get it, I have about probably 25-30kgs more than her. I just want this so bad, being skinny just seems to come with so many benefits that I want too. I'm not going to give up this time, I just can't be second best my entire life just because I'm a fat whale and I'm not going to let myself. Before 2018 I WILL finally be the girl Ive always wanted to be.
[Other] a weird high thought
/u/nchlaz [5'11 | 137 | 18.5 | -70 | M]
Created: Sun Sep 3 20:30:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xxjpd/a_weird_high_thought/
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if you could be skinny and feel content all the time (never hungry but never full) but youd never be able to eat or taste food, would you? like if you got your energy from the sun or something lmao. i dont know if i could like i love food so much
[Discussion] How to stop yourself from over eating bc you started going to the gym?
/u/aceshighsays [5'2" | C: 110.2 | -27.8 | F | G: 99]
Created: Sun Sep 3 20:27:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xxj7y/how_to_stop_yourself_from_over_eating_bc_you/
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[removed]
me: ugh the store doesnt have almond milk for my cereal. instead of just buying regular milk for 70 more calories ill just give up on cereal and buy 800 calories worth of trail mix. and then later have cereal with regular milk.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 3 20:18:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xxhji/me_ugh_the_store_doesnt_have_almond_milk_for_my/
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[deleted]
I binged on food I don't even like
/u/PurplePensOnly [5'9 | CW 168.9 | -12 | UGW 120 | GW 150 | 22F]
Created: Sun Sep 3 19:22:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xx7bh/i_binged_on_food_i_dont_even_like/
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[removed]
[Discussion] How do I get out of an "I keep almost binging" phase
/u/LivelyGhost [5'6" | CW: 141 | GW: 111 | -23 lbs]
Created: Sun Sep 3 19:16:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xx68c/how_do_i_get_out_of_an_i_keep_almost_binging_phase/
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I'm having trouble breaking out of 140 lbs because for the past almost two weeks, I've been getting really strong urges to binge even though I JUST weened out of a 2-3 day binge fest like two weeks ago (mfing grilled cheese my dudes, grilled cheese!!). I have just enough control to stop myself at the end of the day at around 1000-1600 calories. So honestly at this rate I *should* be losing a small amount of weight but I think I'm holding onto a lot of food and water too.
I'm not gaining, but I'm not losing. I'm always at 141 or 140 and never seeing it break into 139 or lower. I'm not exactly in a mood to maintain so it makes me feel like a failure, increases the urge to binge, and above all makes me feel like a pathetic blob of fat. Like damn?? Can't stop shoving shit into your mouth for one day to lose a pound??? I'm not even enjoying the food I'm eating, I just want to binge but I'm limiting myself from that and it's just keeping me in lipid glory limbo.
Send help, I just want to break 140 before the 21st at this point. My eating habits are making me feel horrible right now and I just want to not feel so chaotic.
how do I get out of a "I keep almost-binging" phase
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 3 19:14:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xx5ze/how_do_i_get_out_of_a_i_keep_almostbinging_phase/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] When you finally fit into your smallest sized pants
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 3 19:02:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xx3wc/when_you_finally_fit_into_your_smallest_sized/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] |Rave| I ate at a food court and I'm not freaking out!
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |110.8 | -109.2 | GW: 110 | UGW:105 | 20A]
Created: Sun Sep 3 17:38:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xwno4/rave_i_ate_at_a_food_court_and_im_not_freaking_out/
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After going thrifting with my mom today we were both absolutely starving. We were also fifteen minutes away from an old Japanese market we used to go to when I was younger with a bustling food court. So, obviously, we ended up there.
Initially I was hesitant to let myself get what I wanted. I almost made myself order a tofu salad and miso soup because those were the safest low calorie options, but I ignored that voice and went with an old favorite, beef udon. And you guys?
It was delicious.
It was really really yummy.
Like I only felt guilty after I ate, lol.
BUT
I didn't finish my bowl, and when I calculated it on Mfp and loseit /I used all the highest calorie options/ it came out to 700 and I'm counting it as 850. That still leaves me under 1,200 for the day including my planned dinner and snack if I get hungry later. I didn't go crazy and overindulge even though I had a bite of my mom's matcha soft serve.
I dunno, this feels like a win, a baby step towards some sort of normalcy w/ eating out. Yeah, I'm still thinking about it and needed to process here, but I did it :)
Now to stress about my dim sum date with my sister next week, lol.
[Rant/Rave] Is it fucking awful that..
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 3 17:30:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xwm4d/is_it_fucking_awful_that/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Relapsing after months of inpatient [Rant]
/u/KNAllegheny
Created: Sun Sep 3 17:18:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xwjvi/relapsing_after_months_of_inpatient_rant/
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I don't really know why but Prozac kills my appetite completely. So it's not like I'm truly relapsing. It's just a side effect of the medication. Lithium makes you gain weight but I'm gonna stop that today.
I just have mental health issues. I'm working on fixing them. I haven't purge since May and haven't binged since I've gone on Prozac. But I think I'm getting hypoglycemia because my hands shake so bad, I can't paint nails or write my name. I can, but it's really sloppy.
I realize this was very random. Thanks for reading,
[Rant/Rave] Babyest thigh gap ever
/u/RosenWeiss9 [5'3.5" | 112.8 | 20.1 | -14.7 | 25F]
Created: Sun Sep 3 16:39:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xwcci/babyest_thigh_gap_ever/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] My alcoholic/narcissistic dad is progressively getting worse and worse
/u/katya_del_rey
Created: Sun Sep 3 16:20:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xw8kw/my_alcoholicnarcissistic_dad_is_progressively/
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EMOTIONAL RANT AHEAD
So my dad and mom have a history of not really getting along. My mom is literally the sweetest human being on earth, now granted she may have a mouth on her and has a tendency to push people's buttons, she's for the most part incredibly caring, fun, and hard working. My dad on the other hand has always been a reserved and cold man. He's not expressive with his emotions and can get explosive when he's in a mood. He's a heavy drinker, although he denies it. He also has some behavioral issues from what I can tell. He's narcissistic, controlling, & changes moods in a snap.
And quite lately, he's been getting worse and worse. Ever since my mom got knee surgery in July, he's been fighting with her no joke at least 2-4 times a week. Now granted most of them never get too severe, sometimes he yells and gets to sounding quite insane . Every time they fight I just stay in my room and try not to intervene, but I genuine starting to get afraid for what's to come. He refuses any professional help and any comforting words from anyone.
I'm just afraid for me and my mom. He owns the house we live in and if shit were ever to pop off I'm afraid of what's to happen. My mom still has her job tho and my sister has a house we can maybe stay at, but he owns that house to and it's just this big web off interconnecting fucked up shit.
I'm 19 and barely starting trade school next month, but I'm starting to get worried he'll pull some crazy shit and refuse to pay for it or something.
Idk sorry if this writing is jumbled and unorganized, it's just that I'm shaking as I'm writing this and I'm just so scared for my future because of this stupid insensitive man who refuses any help for his issues. Because of him I'm starting to relapse into anorexia/bulimia, and my anxiety has gone up tenfold since he's done what he's done. I'm just nervous for me, my mom, and just about the future of all of us tbh...😞
[Rant/Rave] Sleepover victory!!
/u/goshgollyheck
Created: Sun Sep 3 16:07:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xw5vk/sleepover_victory/
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So my friend invited me over for a sleepover with three of our other friends, and I was pretty worried about the food I'd probably have to eat (this friend in particular is a really caring host, so I knew she'd make sure that we were never to go hungry), but she called me asking if I could come later in the night since she was coming home later than expected, to which I said, "of course!!" because I could say I just ate, and then dinner would be out of the way! All that was left to worry about were snacks and breakfast, so I brought the oreos and potato chips from my house, and I came at around 10:30. We watched a movie, everyone snacked (I got to pass off without suspicion by eating 2 goldfish pieces!), and we all headed to bed. Then, I got a call this morning by my mom asking if it was okay to pick me up a little early when everyone would be eating breakfast, so of course, I said sure then told my mom I had a big breakfast at my friend's house. I was so worried I'd overeat at the sleepover, but luck decided to be on my side and let me come out of it having eaten only two goldfish pieces, PLUS I got rid of the Oreos and chips in my house!! I'm beaming.
[Help] Severely cold hands when typing/studying?
/u/Andersoncooperspenis [5'6 | CW:😭 | GW:115 |-29| F]
Created: Sun Sep 3 15:58:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xw3vv/severely_cold_hands_when_typingstudying/
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Usually I'm a pretty warm person, but when I'm at the library my hands get sososososososo cold. Like my fingers are blue cold. Plus with restricting it gets worse. I've tried other spots in the library or even cafes, and my hands always get so cold I can't even type. I'm a student so this is quite a problem if I can't get my work done. Does anyone else have the same thing?
I've looked around a bit and it seems some people use fingerless arthritis gloves (gets circulation going) or fingerless USB hand warmers but I wanted to see if any of you had found a solution before I go and order all this shit on the internet
[Thinspo] Thinspo.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Sun Sep 3 15:26:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xvx48/thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/q8bp9py1kqjz.jpg
[Other] To feel judged or not to feel judged lol
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'3"|110| 25F]
Created: Sun Sep 3 15:25:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xvwvk/to_feel_judged_or_not_to_feel_judged_lol/
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Recovery isn't perfect nor is it fun tbh it's supposed to be worth it in the long run tho ugh
But I'm paranoid to heck that ED people judge me like do they think I'm too fat or that I'm giving up on being thin or for ffff sake that they're doing better than me? Like stop I'm trying to get better get out
Fffffff I hate the ED competition mindset and how bad it makes me feel sometimes like I feel like I'm never good enough
I'm still trying to recover idk eventually but I hate this nagging feel that somewhere out there a random ass stranger will be judging my body. where did this come from....I don't have time for this lol I'm already feeling the subtle after effects of my ED. Ffffmmmmllll
[Discussion] Is the "bust" measurement supposed to be from the fullest part of the breast, OR your band size/ribs?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 3 15:23:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xvwhl/is_the_bust_measurement_supposed_to_be_from_the/
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[deleted]
[Other] Same....
/u/bed_warrior [5'10" | 242.8 | 33.87 | -90.2 lbs | F 27]
Created: Sun Sep 3 15:22:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xvw9g/same/
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https://i.redd.it/uhza7mwcjqjz.jpg
[Thinspo] ok but this is my favourite recent picture of myself {jawline thinspo}
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 3 15:12:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xvu56/ok_but_this_is_my_favourite_recent_picture_of/
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https://i.redd.it/q8d24dtjhqjz.jpg
[Help] is this possible? PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS POSSIBLE.
/u/skelle-constellation [5'6" | 142 | 22.9 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 3 14:47:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xvoqv/is_this_possible_please_tell_me_this_is_possible/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Dreading going to Shake Shack
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 96ishlbs | F]
Created: Sun Sep 3 14:47:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xvony/dreading_going_to_shake_shack/
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So my boyfriend is pretty adamant about going to Shake Shack for dinner today.
The lowest calorie thing for me to get is their Shroom Burger, which comes in at 490 calories. Uggghhhhh. If I only eat that and don't eat anything else for the rest of the day, that'll bring my calorie total to around 620 for the day.
It's giving me major anxiety though because I was just going to eat an english muffin with some hot sauce which would've put me at about 270 for the day.
I hate restaurant eating so much. Especially since I feel like I'm going to slip up and eat after going to Shake Shack.
I really wanted to keep my total for the day under 500 :(
[Goal] Babyest thigh gap ever
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 3 14:45:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xvo7d/babyest_thigh_gap_ever/
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https://imgur.com/a/fWS0t
I SEE YOU
first thigh "gap" ever with knees and ankles touching but it's something small
[Rant/Rave] My whole thing is just keeping it together until my next binge
/u/HelloStopLookingAtMe
Created: Sun Sep 3 14:42:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xvng8/my_whole_thing_is_just_keeping_it_together_until/
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Also Intro, kinda. Been lurking for a whiiiiiile.
But seriously, I restrict and restrict and then binge. And then restrict again indefinitely until the next binge.
I know this is so common, but I found myself standing in the kitchen 5 ft away from the fridge that I'd had hanging open for like 10 min, eating cold squash and spooning salsa out of a jar and thinking, "God, I wish I had some binge food in the house."
I know consciously that this is a cycle, but I just now felt it. I wanted to binge. I've been on track for almost two weeks. That's great for me, but I guess this is part of the cycle. Every time, I think, "Never again." But there is a binge creeping up on my near future. It's not an interruption in my diet- it's a grim part of it.
I'll do my best.
[Goal] ACCOUNTABILITY
/u/Bibisniff
Created: Sun Sep 3 13:44:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xvasm/accountability/
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[removed]
[Other] I'm Not British Tho
/u/skelle-constellation
Created: Sun Sep 3 13:41:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xvacy/im_not_british_tho/
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I watch a lot of documentaries about eating disorders. My favorite ones are British. They're silent except for soft British voices commenting on things and spoons touching coffee cups and stuff. If you watch British documentaries, especially on Eating Disorders, you'll know what I mean. (fun fact, British accents trigger me a lot.)
Anyway, some times I pretend like I'm the subject of one of those documentaries. I'm American and as white trash as it gets but I'll get up to start my morning coffee and in my head, or under my breath I'll say IN A BRITSH ACCENT
"u/skelle-constellation has been anorexic since she was a young child."
I'll go through my day literally pretending I'm in a British documentary about anorexia. And it helps me not to binge. I'll cut up my apple for the day and say stuff quietly like "I love food but I'm so scared of gaining weight. I just don't allow myself to eat more than I feel like I need." All in a British accent. And then I don't binge because I have to be "extra anorexic" for the film crew.
I KNOW THIS IS RIDICULOUS and laughable. But I just wanted to share this weird ass thing I do to keep from bingeing.
Do any of you have weird embarrassing things that you do because of ED?
[Rant/Rave] The beach......
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 161.8 | GW:118 | -4 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 3 13:41:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xvaaf/the_beach/
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is my favorite place on this entire planet of earth. So I get on the beach today wearing a swimsuit, over top of which I'm wearing a sports bra, tank top, mid-calf leggings, socks and sneakers, and my heart rate monitor strapped to my arm. Okay, ready to exercise on vacation so I can stay net 800 for the day!
Of course two minutes into the run I'm like "why the fuck am I doing this?!?!" And then I see HER. Everyone knows her. She's the fucking flawless looking one. 1 piece? Amazing. Bikini? Stunning. *sigh* I want to look like her so fuckin much. annnnnnnnd back to my run 🙃
[Discussion] September 3rd, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 3 12:13:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xurja/september_3rd_2017_question_of_the_day/
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Where have you found evidence of a higher power?
[Help] Advice?
/u/dancingblobfish
Created: Sun Sep 3 11:58:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xuo5l/advice/
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When I'm fasting, I always get headaches that are comparable to migraines. Does anyone have any ideas as to how I can stop or ease them without eating?
[Thinspo] Alexa is so pretty it hurts 😭
/u/eugibar
Created: Sun Sep 3 11:56:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xunns/alexa_is_so_pretty_it_hurts/
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https://instagram.com/p/BYljW0hja7P/
[Discussion] Does anyone else only eat packaged food to make sure they know exact calories?
/u/emotionalthr0w [5'9 22F. SW:182 CW:150.2 BMI:21.78]
Created: Sun Sep 3 11:42:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xukig/does_anyone_else_only_eat_packaged_food_to_make/
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I've been noticing that I have a weird habit of avoiding any restaurant food, homecooked food, takeout, etc. because I don't have the exact number of calories hand-delivered to me and it'll be harder to log into MyFitnessPal accurately. It makes me feel like a giant child. Does anyone else do this?
[Rant/Rave] the shrimp creole incident
/u/bellexy [5'8 |GW 118 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 3 10:58:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xuam4/the_shrimp_creole_incident/
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random off-my-chest
thoughts i had last night:
* i really want to cook my husband a good dinner
* oh man my shrimp creole recipe is super good, how have i never made that for him before
* yeah, he deserves this. he's gonna love it and be so happy i can cook awesome food for him.
thoughts i did not have until after dinner:
* my shrimp creole is *really, really* good.
* i cannot ignore its siren song
* *maybe it's in my blood. it is the food of my people. i need it to sustain my life force.*
* he deserved it, i did not
* why did i make enough to feed a small army
* why does my stomach think it is a small army
so i wound up taking lax for the first time in ages because i hit my month's lw that morning. still woke up +2 lbs, which i know is retention from the salt in the dish but STILL. gosh darn it.
~~\#noregrets~~ \#someregrets
[Discussion] Does anyone else get triggered certain times of the year?
/u/Kylepinocchio
Created: Sun Sep 3 10:57:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xua67/does_anyone_else_get_triggered_certain_times_of/
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Hello everyone!
I wasn't totally sure how to make the title make sense, lol.
Basically, I'm "recovered" (physically, not so much mentally) but certain times of the year are hard for me.
I have so many memories from the past several autumns about restricting during this time of year. It was the time of year when I downspiraled most the last couple years.
The color orange reminds me of restricting. Wearing layers in the fall reminds me of restricting. Carving pumpkins reminds me of when I found a pumpkin that was almost a third of my weight. Anything pumpkin flavored reminds me of wanting to not eat. Granny Smith apples remind me of my safe foods. Fuzzy socks remind me of wearing socks to keep warm while restricting. Basically, every good memory I have from this time of year reminds me of restricting.
I also always look back to my photos from this time of year in the past several years to see what my body looked like then. I like seeing what my hair color was then, because certain hair colors remind me of restricting.
For some reason, September/October are the worst months for this, but November and December are the same way. Any times of year that have a "cozy" feel are so wrapped up with my ED that I can't tangle the two apart. In addition, once I had one year where I was restricting a lot on the fall, I do that same pattern every year in pursuit of the warm, fuzzy, dizzy feeling I associate with this time of year.
More or less, I don't even know how to appreciate fall without having an ED. It was so much more enjoyable because of the weight loss. Seeing myself shrink made me happy, and that's why I have so many good memories from this time of year. It felt like I was in control, even though I know I wasn't.
I can't get my head out of the past and I don't know how to have a happy Halloween or October or September without having the number on the scale drop. Without it, fall seems bland and pointless.
Anyone else have a similar experience with fall reminding them of their peak ED? I've never known anyone else with the same issue, but then again, I don't talk about my problems irl much.
[Rant/Rave] I'm coming out of a binge cycle that lasted two months
/u/i-have-8-nickels
Created: Sun Sep 3 10:46:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xu7v0/im_coming_out_of_a_binge_cycle_that_lasted_two/
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I gained 25 lbs, none of my clothes fit, and my goals for the fall are all smashed. I'm reduced to sweatpants and baggy t-shirts.
I hate myself pretty hard right now.
I think the thing that snapped me out of it was having a sex dream about literally the fattest guy I know (400+ lbs) and the mental image it left me with was so disgusting. I was into it, too. In the dream. Ugh.
[Rant/Rave] Every time I say I won't
/u/janesavage [167 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 50 kg | 18F]
Created: Sun Sep 3 10:02:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xty44/every_time_i_say_i_wont/
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I can look back at all of these moments in my life where I said, "That's ridiculous. I'd *never* do that."
"I'd *never* restrict food intake."
"I'd *never* equate weight with worth."
"I'd *never* overexercise to compensate."
"Okay, well, I'd *never* purge over a toilet."
"I'd *never* cry if someone encouraged me to eat. That's what the *nutcases** in treatment do."
Guess who started tearing up today when someone very kindly asked me to have three more sips of my barely-touched milkshake? 👍
At least it was really sunny and my eyes were already watering from the brightness. I think part of it was I was revelling in another bout of complete lack of appetite, which have been (🙌🙌🎉) occurring quite frequently lately, and the fact someone was insisting I eat something just hit me especially badly. In her defence, we *had* just finished a three-hour hike...
(*Still trying to delude myself into thinking I haven't got a problem.)
Recipe for a goddamn colon cleanse
/u/jeanisdead [5'2.5" | 98lbs]
Created: Sun Sep 3 09:45:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xtugv/recipe_for_a_goddamn_colon_cleanse/
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Eat too many quest bars. Like, 3. Then have a whole pint of halo top. Because low carb, right? No, you blew it. So eat chipotle for dinner cuz fuck it. Then get really blazed and eat an entire bag of sugar free cough drops. At this point, you'll feel the concoction brewing in your lower intestine and want to die at how bloated you are. Just get more high and go to sleep.
Guys, I think I gave birth this morning. It's like all my bad decisions yesterday just flew out of my asshole. SO let's just go to the gym and eat nothing but tuna cans today bitch, you were given a new lease on life.
Tmi I guess, but when you're dealing with an eating disorder, a good shitting story is more like a fairy tale. Me and my empty colon lived happily ever after. THE END
[Thinspo] Anyone else highly obsessed with Alexis Ren? I can't stop watching this 😍
/u/tinywolfxo
Created: Sun Sep 3 09:23:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xtpvz/anyone_else_highly_obsessed_with_alexis_ren_i/
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https://instagram.com/p/BYdvYl1DJZE/
Is this a relapse? or what? I don't know lol
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 3 09:21:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xtpj4/is_this_a_relapse_or_what_i_dont_know_lol/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Plateau again? SERIOUSLY?!
/u/ultravi0lent [5' | CW: 143.4 lbs | SW: 211 | GW: nothing but bones | F]
Created: Sun Sep 3 08:44:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xtiea/plateau_again_seriously/
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So I've had a plateau at the end of July, going between 149 and 147 pounds, but never below. Experienced a whoosh mid-August and ended up at 141... but now I keep going between 141 and 143, but I can't see to go below that. It's been ~10 days and I keep eating ~800 cal. a day (except for a 2,000 cal. binge. ugh) without any change. No difference in my diet or exercise or habits or anything that could make me retain water for that long. Is it even possible to be plateauing AGAIN like BARELY A WEEK AFTER BREAKING THROUGH ANOTHER PLATEAU?! what the fuck!!!! the scales hate me.
it's just so fucking frustrating - most of you know the feel. i'm so sick and disgusted of being in the 140s that I won't even be happy seeing the 130s coming up... it feels so high and huge and i just don't like the number. i'm sick of it and i feel like a fucking whale. and as if it wasn't enough, plateauing sometimes trigger binges for me - i mean, if i'm not losing weight, what's the point of eating fuckin celery all day, right? might as well eat a whole bag of chips and a pack of cookies and the whole fuckin house at this point. VERY HELPFUL ATTITUDE FOR WEIGHT LOSE, ultravi0lent. keep wondering why you're overweight!
☹️
I haven't eaten in three days and I'm about to go to a diner. 🙃
/u/nerdynerdytits
Created: Sun Sep 3 08:12:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xtcje/i_havent_eaten_in_three_days_and_im_about_to_go/
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[removed]
[Other] WEIGHT: short film about a wrestler's real life struggle with body dismorphic disorder.
/u/CommunistTurdWaffles
Created: Sun Sep 3 07:33:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xt5mt/weight_short_film_about_a_wrestlers_real_life/
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This is the most gripping thing you'll watch today. Sure he's a guy, and no he's not stick thin, but I guarantee you'll relate. It's only 2 minutes long. Give it a watch.
https://vimeo.com/229634791
PS - I can't add flair as I'm on mobile, but maybe "discussion".
Also, I'm not affiliated with this film. I saw it on the front page and related to it. Thought others might as well. I also found it interesting because it shines a light on such a dark place.
[Rant/Rave] Plateau..again.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 3 07:12:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xt23x/plateauagain/
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[deleted]
[Help] 1.5 kilos up from the day before?
/u/restrictbingepurge [172 | 50.3 | 16.85 | 😊🤑🤢]
Created: Sun Sep 3 07:02:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xt0ep/15_kilos_up_from_the_day_before/
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Yesterday's menu:
Bag of chips, cup noodles, licorice (purged)
Another bag of chips, more cup noodles and licorice (also purged)
A fair amount of licorice and an apple (not purged)
1.5 kilos?? AND I POOPED THIS MORNING! (TMI) Either my scale is broken, I've been delusional about my weight, or I actually gained that from the licorice. My stomach is fairly flat today so it's not food weight (didn't eat that much licorice lol)
[Rant/Rave] Not until I've seen what skinny looks like
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 189lb | M]
Created: Sun Sep 3 06:59:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xszx5/not_until_ive_seen_what_skinny_looks_like/
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I spent two hours this morning sitting on the roof of my university library (10 stories) trying to convince myself that it was worth the risk of surviving a jump. Looking in the mirror after my shower and seeing--yet again--the depressing reality that it's not BDD, I'm just genuinely un-attractive when compared to the majority of other people was too much.
But I've calmed down some. I can kill myself today, I can do it tomorrow--or I can do it when I'm skinny. And I think that's what I've decided on: seeing what skinny looks like (I've never truly been there) and then making my final decision.
Maybe this is just wishful thinking. At any rate, though, I've probably bought myself another eight months, and sometimes that has to be enough.
[Rant/Rave] I'm a shitty girlfriend :/
/u/Nicole744
Created: Sun Sep 3 06:33:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xsw0x/im_a_shitty_girlfriend/
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But I got scales today! And slimming aid pills!
I feel like shit for it but I haven't lost anything in the last week so I need to try harder.
My jeans feel more loose and I should be building muscle with the exercise I'm doing bit that's still not good enough, the numbers need to do down. The fat on my stomach and hips especially needs to go away. So 100cal a day and more exercise when I feel up to it from now on. My boyfriend is at work for all meals and is trusting that I'm eating. Another week and if there still isn't any difference then it's double the exercise and a week of fasting. It needs to fuck off! And I just need to hope my boyfriend spent find my pills or scales. I thought getting them would calm me down. I've been on the verge of panic attacks over the slightest things for the past few days because I'm so on edge about not knowing if I've lost but I think knowing I haven't and betraying my boyfriend is worse! I need a cuddle from him but it won't actually help because instead of making me feel better it will make me cringe and cry because of him touching all my fat! 😣
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! September 03, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Sep 3 06:11:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xssud/daily_food_diary_september_03_2017/
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This is a daily food diary thread for September 03, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your favorite recipes!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Sep 3 06:10:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xssqx/sunday_share_your_favorite_recipes/
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Looking for memes? [Right this way~](/r/ProEDmemes)!
[Help] How do I stop (feeling like I'm?) binge eating?
/u/VagueClarity [5'10" | 115lbs | GW 90lbs | BMI 16.09 | Lost ?lbs | NB]
Created: Sun Sep 3 05:48:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xspmg/how_do_i_stop_feeling_like_im_binge_eating/
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First off, I'm *very* sorry if this post offends anyone. What I've been doing might not really be what most people would classify as binge eating (I guess?).
So, here's the deal. I was 140lbs around this time last year. In the span of 1 month, I went down to 115lbs (I don't know what happened, I just suddenly couldn't stand how my body looked, and just starved myself). After that, I stayed stable at around that weight until the start of this year, when I fell to 100-105lbs. I was forced to gain weight when I was hospitalized for unrelated reasons, and went up to 120lbs in May. Since then, I've lost ~5lbs.
Here's my problem. I've started feeling hungry almost all the time (since around Aug 25th or so). Whereas before I was stable physically (feeling fine, maintaining weight) at ~700-800 calories per day, now I'm eating 1100+ calories a day. But I try to resist the urge to eat, since I do still want to lose weight. This ends up with me eating *all those calories*, anywhere from 1100 to 2000, in one sitting.
This started recently, and I'm horrified to think how much weight I'm going to put on.
I'm not going to ask for advice on how to diet, or cut out food, or assist my anorexia. I just want to know—does anyone have any anecdotes to share on how to moderate my consumption? Even if it's not reducing how much I'm eating, per se, what can I do to spread out my food intake?—even if I haven't been refraining from eating intentionally, as soon as I start eating, I can't stop. What sorts of things might I be able to do to spread this eating out and maybe avoid unhealthy weight fluctuations?
As a side note: I have a metabolic disorder that has me pretty much good-to-go on the ~800 calories per day I mentioned earlier (though I can't be highly active). This is why I'm worried about weight gain—800 was stable, so 2000 is going to be a huge difference.
[Other] Warm fall drink recipes - Go!
/u/awayawaydown [6'0" | 17.2 | 16.3 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 3 05:13:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xslci/warm_fall_drink_recipes_go/
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I love cider, hot cocoa, spiced tea...but I long for versions that are both enjoyable and "safe." Do you have any favorites? (Please flair, on mobile)
[Other] Venting and stuff
/u/Cataphysical
Created: Sun Sep 3 04:47:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xsif9/venting_and_stuff/
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I'm not really sure what to flair this as, but let's say it's other, it's a mix of stuff. I've been restricting since around March and have been really strict with this. I am not yet moved out, so I live with my mother as an only child until I have the finances to do so. This being said, it's very hard to hide eating habits. I feel so damn awful whenever my mother tells me to eat, and that she feels like "she's eating for me." First it had been that I was too fat and I did something about it, now she's telling me to eat and that she's eating for me. God.. I can't win.
Excuse that little rant. Anyways, I'm very pleased to say that I am now in the 120 range. I've been stuck at 131.08 for a bit now, and for some reason the weight is dropping again. I am 5,9" and now 127 lbs - my BMI is also now 18.8. My goal weight was 125, but I have an odd urge to put it at 120 now. It'll give me extra incentive to hold through, even though I am not prone to binging at all. Hopefully I can continue this without my mother's intervention. All I want is for this flab and extra unneeded weight to go away. 😕 Fingers crossed.
[Rant/Rave] Rather short vent
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 3 04:32:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xsgqz/rather_short_vent/
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[deleted]
[Help] First binge please help!
/u/none_intended
Created: Sun Sep 3 03:52:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xsbtw/first_binge_please_help/
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I posted a couple of days ago about how I'm close to my GW but for the first time I binge ate. On Friday I racked up to 2500 and yesterday it was 3000. I can't purge anymore, gag reflex is non-existent. I've taken quadruple the amount of laxatives recommended including two mini enemas, but even after that I'm still huge. I thought that after I got it all out the water retention should be gone as well.
I'm so close to having a breakdown because I went from 114lbs back to 120lbs. My waist went back to 26 inches I'm about to lose it. On a 5"6 frame this can't possibly be weight gain so quickly right? Please, please, PLEASE tell me it's just bloating. Guys please help I'm freaking out.
[Other] I'm depressed (again) and no longer feel hungry or anything, so that's nice
/u/lavendersmoke [5'5" | CW ? | GW 105 | -5 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 3 02:49:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xs4j7/im_depressed_again_and_no_longer_feel_hungry_or/
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here's to slowly fading away again
[Help] People with husbands/partners with kids etc, how do you hide that you're not eating the meals you make for everybody?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 3 02:03:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xrz9t/people_with_husbandspartners_with_kids_etc_how_do/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] People are much nicer
/u/sugarfreeicetea
Created: Sun Sep 3 01:08:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xrtf3/people_are_much_nicer/
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Ever since I started rapidly losing weight I've noticed strangers are much nicer to me. Also I've noticed people are nicer when I wear makeup, even people I know. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth (no pun intended) but I can't exactly figure out why.
It's a cruel world. Vain too.
Edit- Wording
[Rant/Rave] Haven't weighed myself since move in day
/u/Keiwii [5'2 | GW:110 | UGW:90 | -32lbs]
Created: Sun Sep 3 00:05:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xrm8j/havent_weighed_myself_since_move_in_day/
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I've been going to the gym a lot like I've anticipated , and it's far more easier for me to restrict since I'm busy. I love campus life despite how insecure I get. Our college's gym is huge but I've managed to only find one scale which is kind of in the open and I like weighing myself alone with no clothing. I have been taking measurements like always and I've lost an inch off my waist and an half of inch off my belly button , yet i'm still nervous. I got a notification from my school saying my package arrived ( I ordered a new scale) , so I'll finally know how much I weigh once I go back after this labor day weekend!
I moved in on the 16th, if when I weigh myself and my weight is the same... I know ill handle it badly. I've been extra critical of myself since I'm around gym bodies so often. I cry every day during the walk back to my dorm from the gym ,unless someone decide to tag along with me that day. If the scale does show the same number , there's no way I gained muscle in that short amount of time while restricting ,right?
[Rant/Rave] It just feels so natural
/u/tresliz [5"7 | [redacted] | [redacted] | ~30 lost | F]
Created: Sat Sep 2 23:50:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xrk6c/it_just_feels_so_natural/
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To just starve myself.
Every day since my relapse I go about my business running on 500ish calories daily only in liquid form. Usually a protein shake and some juice.
I think about food, of course I do, I'm hungry all the time.
But then I just sort of gently fall back into this mindset that I don't need to eat to live. And for now? I don't. I can sustain life by letting my body slowly consume itself. I've made it this far, right? 15 lbs in three weeks, not eating, just drinking juice and shakes. Under 800 every day, usually under 500, sometimes 300 and I'm working on 200 or 100 or straight up fasting.
And then what? When my body runs out of options, when it starts hurting and fainting like it used to?
Treatment again? And lose control, the absolute total control over my own body, this vessel of flesh and bone only I own?
See what I mean? Isn't it beautiful? It's not about being thin anymore. It's about being in control.
I can get treatment or I can starve to death.
I don't know which to choose.
I have a while before I start dying. I have time to decide.
[Rant/Rave] Collarbones 💐
/u/CassTheUltimateBA [5'10 | 144.6 | 20.6 | 75 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 2 23:49:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xrjz7/collarbones/
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https://i.redd.it/gzrixqbwwljz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] First time getting high but also first time with munchies
/u/squishysponges [18F|5'5"|GW 110]
Created: Sat Sep 2 23:00:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xrcr5/first_time_getting_high_but_also_first_time_with/
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AKA I just fucked myself doubly over this week.
So I hadn't refilled my birth control (I usually skip the placebo week so this technically is that) which made me hungrier gab usual, I didn't realize I had a set limit when I was on birth control compared to without it.
But my sister also went to Colorado last week and brought home some edibles. I had two small hard candy ones which tasted good, and the high was honestly really fun. My mom took one too and we all went furniture shopping while I was high as a fucking kite. I was giggly and having a great time. Unfortunately, I also ate:
A whole stromboli
2 slices of plain pizza
1 sweet sausage and 2 spicy sausages
A hamburger roll
Cheesy potatoes
2 chicken fingers
French fries
And a cheeseburger
I am so bloated right now it hurts and I want to kill myself. Next time I'm high I need to bar myself from the kitchen. Ugh. At least I'm back on my birth control tomorrow and I'll be back on a normal schedule. In other news, college is actually going pretty well and I'm enjoying my classes so far.
Hope you guys had a better week than me though food wise!
[Intro] It's a shitpost/intro
/u/sertraline_slut [5'4 | CW:132 | 22.7 | Femme being]
Created: Sat Sep 2 22:28:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xr7rd/its_a_shitpostintro/
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So I'm hoping if any of y'all can relate!
At my sickest, I feel like I was very good at ignoring/avoiding/suppressing my emotions. However, I've been "recovered" for a few years and also in that time developed PTSD. My emotions are out of control.
I'm a lesbian, and so many women I've felt comfortable being intimate with have expressed in many ways that I'm too emotional and they don't feel the same way. It doesn't necessarily have to be related to them, just that in general I have too many emotions.
I just miss that #starvation feel when I could avoid that shit.
[Help] I used to eat a lot less when I had invisalign. Is there a substitute for this?
/u/silverblackcat
Created: Sat Sep 2 22:17:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xr628/i_used_to_eat_a_lot_less_when_i_had_invisalign_is/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Fasting as a last ditch effort to stop the fat
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 180lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Sat Sep 2 21:44:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xr0h0/fasting_as_a_last_ditch_effort_to_stop_the_fat/
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Yes, the headache and stomach cramping sucks.
Yes, I feel dizzy from just standing.
BUT, I ate like a cow the past week and my official weigh in is tomorrow. I had a cheeky weigh in this morning and I was at 82.1. I need to be under 81kg tomorrow morning.
I'm drinking water like a fish, look a fibre supplement, what more can I do.
I had a dream I hit 80kg. How sad is that.
[Help] help on planning food?
/u/ci-fre [5'1" | 83-84 lb | ~16.5 new BMI | F]
Created: Sat Sep 2 21:32:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xqype/help_on_planning_food/
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Hi everyone,
This might be a really weird situation and request but here I am. I plan to do this for college and I try to stay at around 700-800 calories every day. I had this plan but it's not making me very satiated so I was wondering what I could do to tweak it a little in order to make it more filling but stay at the same amount of calories...
And yeah, I think the answer is sometimes really obvious. More veggies! Shirataki noodles! No carbs! But the thing is that, the process of cooking makes me feel super stressed (OCD) since everything gets messy when I cook (even when it's a "one-pot meal" — the thought of getting my hands sticky freaks the hell out of me). I just spent a pretty long time cleaning my floor, bowls I used to mix/weigh stuff, and rice cooker for a meal that would be usually deemed a one-pot meal and it made me feel really tired, stressed, and drained.
There's also the factor of convenience, which I need as a college student... and which also gets on my OCD. I hate not being "completely done" with something so I hate hate hate any sort of cleanup. I am to the point where I eat cereal out of disposable cups and with disposable spoons because I don't want to clean them up.
I've looked into meal prep but I do not have a microwave and I would have to clean when I make the meal prepped foods anyway D: Nor do I have a pot large enough to cook multiple servings at once.
Basically, how I currently have it is... I eat two really easy to prepare meals that do not make me freak out about cleaning and which are extremely easy to make (just grab and go). Then I cook one meal that I want to be SLIGHT cleaning but not too much just to get my veggies in:
* Meal 1: Keto Fuel (~210) or Quest Bar (~200?) (alternate)
* Meal 2: Used to be 1/2 cup unsweetened nut milk + 1 serving Special K protein cereal + 10g nuts for like around 200 calories?
* Meal 3: Poached egg on 30g rice with frozen spinach and soy sauce (~230 I think; going off the top of my head)
So for Meal 1 I really don't want to change it because it's just so convenient and not a lot of cleanup...
I am probably going to switch Meal 2 to Greek yogurt + blueberries + nuts + peanut butter powder for satiety... does anyone know what to do with the cereal I already have? Anyone had milk with peanut butter powder and cereal? Or any alternative (cold) cereals that are really filling for the calories?
So for Meal 3... is my real problem here since I am concerned about not eating vegetables but I hate hate hate anything that's not super convenient and doesn't make my hand dirty D; That's why when I bought frozen spinach (which I have with me right now) I freaked out because it's in clumps and it leaves little fragments and it's sort of hard to pick up and weigh without getting it stuck on your hands. I am not sure if there exists a nutrient dense and low calorie alternative with EXTREMELY minimal (like, on the level of using disposable bowls and spoons for cereal) cleanup? D; The only things I can think of with this level of cleanup are crackers/light bread sandwiches made on disposable plates spread with powdered peanut butter and marshmallow fluff (because it's low calorie, hmm) with disposable spoons (LOL... and then I can mix the PB2 in some other disposable thing...) but that's not very nutrient dense >_>;; Sadly it probably is filling because I find peanut butter filling... haha...;;
I have thought of maybe drinking more Keto Fuel but it seems sort of expensive to me... Any alternatives to this? :'c What about greens powders?
Sorry for the perhaps rambly post... I was not sure what to really specify so I detailed my whole situation.
Edit: I should have included this... I am really nervous around any premade foods like frozen meals or frozen burritos or canned anything ;v; I feel like I can't really weigh them right so they sort of freak me out...
**TLDR**: Does anyone know any extremely convenient (on the level of cereal in a disposable cup with plastic spoon, or protein powder in a shaker bottle) yet nutrient-dense and low-calorie foods? Like some sort of vitamin fortified filling low-cal cereal? Or powder or something?
[Intro] Intro
/u/jackbr0wn66
Created: Sat Sep 2 21:12:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xqve2/intro/
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Hello everyone! I’m a 13 y/o male at 5’1” and 110 lbs. I’ve been uncomfortable with my weight for around a year now. Because I’m a guy, I’m scared to tell people about my weight problems because they’re often seen as “girl things” or whatever. I hope I can find support here
[Other] UPDATE: Husband calling me anorexic
/u/randyguptill [5'7.5" | CW 134 | GW 123 | 20.15 | complicated |]
Created: Sat Sep 2 20:49:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xqrnk/update_husband_calling_me_anorexic/
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first post was https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wyquz/help_especially_oldermarried_folks_husband/
It actually has turned out ok, at least so far.
I did tell him that I was not eating and sometimes purging. We did a lot of talking about how we both tried to control each other in the past and that I don't want to control him and I don't want him to control me. I told him I would promise to stay in the bmi weight range for my height. That means I can lose 12 more pounds.
He also went to our doctor and he could have outed me. I had just made an emergency appointment for next Tuesday for anxiety so my name came up at their appointment. My husband told me he would not want to be outed himself so he did not say anything to the doctor about my eating. Now doc will probably notice the weight loss but that's on me.
I am so amazed that he showed respect to me by letting me handle my own affairs with the doctor. He is trying to make things right and this is a good step.
Even though I did not take anyone's advice it helped me a lot to think about how to proceed and what was important to me. Thank you.
[Rant/Rave] I can't see it
/u/timetofadeaway [5'2 | CW scaredlikeamouse | LW 91 | GW1 110 | UGW 90 | F21]
Created: Sat Sep 2 20:09:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xql0w/i_cant_see_it/
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So my skinny jeans fit.... they didn't 2 months ago. However, I can't see any noticeable change in my body composition and I haven't since I started restricting 9 weeks ago.
I almost wish I had taken a picture when I started restricting again.
Anyone else feel the same?
[Rant/Rave] Weekend Wins?
/u/swimwhenithurts
Created: Sat Sep 2 19:45:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xqgjv/weekend_wins/
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-Bought a spin bike
-Got a job at an awesome gym
-Abs make sucking in easy
-Glass hit my hip bones and it hurt (in a good way!)
[Rant/Rave] I can feel the difference in the pressure in my feet
/u/TertiaryWings [5'1"| 🐳 | UGW:120 | -15 | 26F]
Created: Sat Sep 2 19:38:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xqf82/i_can_feel_the_difference_in_the_pressure_in_my/
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I was at about 220 in July. I weigh myself every 36 days so far (I'm very afraid of getting to the point where I weigh myself daily and stress myself out) so I don't know what I weigh right now, but I know that I can feel the difference in the load bearing pressure of my feet. I actually feel lighter on my feet and it's made me pretty happy. Then again I've been walking a lot rather than being completely sedentary over the last few weeks so I don't know if that's more the contributing factor but I can feel the progress and it's inspiring me to push harder. I've been looking to see if I can find adult ballet classes for beginners to try to help shape my body better as I hopefully continue to lose. Sorry for the long ramble, but I feel like I can't share this with anyone in my life and you all are such a nice group that I watch grow and change daily. I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend. ❤️
[Intro] Intro
/u/MN-alt [5'3|150|26.6|19F]
Created: Sat Sep 2 19:20:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xqbv8/intro/
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Hi guys, I've been lurking here for quite some while on my main, but I finally created an alt account solely for this sub.
I'm 19 years old, I started BED when I was 12, and I went through a short bout of bulimia when I was 18. I quit the purging because half of my hair fell out (which is so sad because it was one of the few things I liked about myself and it will take a decade to grow back what I used to have[my hair is past my butt]), but I can't seem to quit the bingeing.
I've gone from paleo to vegan to a 10-day water fast to everything in between. My weight has gone from a low of 130lbs to a high of 160lbs. I have just recently lost and gained, and now I'm at 150lbs.
For the past 5 years, I've been trying to lose weight. It really only worked once when I was paleo, but I hit my highest weight directly after it. I'm so sick of being fat. When I look in the mirror, all I can see are my 36DDD boobs, flat ass, no hips, fat arms, fat upper back, fat inner thighs, fat cheeks/chin, and a plethora of chafing scars and stretch marks.
I've tried 1200 cal a day, but the weightloss is way too slow (not even a pound a week). Starting tomorrow, I will be documenting what I eat in your guys' daily thread, and my max will be 500kcal daily.
My boyfriend likes slim girls, and he's under the impression that I've slowly been losing weight for the past couple months. Little does he know that my diet isn't working and that I've actually gained five pounds.
I'm so sick of having sex with my shirt on, and constantly worrying about my fat every time he touches me. He's 6'0 and 145 pounds, so obviously I look like such a whale next to him.
If I restrict severely, I may be able to drop 40 pounds by the end of this year and be the 110 lb girl he always wanted. 10 pounds a month for the next four months is totally doable if I don't slip up.
I WILL do this. I will be skinny for the first time in my life since I was 11.
[Intro] Intro I guess
/u/throwthisshitaway612 [Height: 5'6 | CW: 96 lbs | BMI: fat cow | Female]
Created: Sat Sep 2 19:13:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xqakj/intro_i_guess/
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Um... hi?
I thought I should introduce myself because, well, I don't really know. Here goes!
I'm throwthisshitaway612, but you can call me fatass. Throw works fine too. I've been uncomfortable with my weight/body shape for a while now, I'd always had little periods for about 2 weeks(?) where I ate as little as possible, then went back to relatively normal eating because I thought I'd stop growing. (All I want is to be tall and thin ;~;) This time, I thought I'd just do another cycle, lose as much as possible on my diet, and stop again. Turns out I can't go back ;D That was a nice discovery. Anyway uh
yeah I'm pathetic and don't actually probably have an eating disorder please don't judge me thanks I might delete this later
[Discussion] Don't you get suspicious when you are not feeling bad?
/u/eugibar
Created: Sat Sep 2 19:09:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xq9tu/dont_you_get_suspicious_when_you_are_not_feeling/
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I'm used to feel tired and dizzy but suddenly I have days I'm feeling energetic af and I start thinking I may not be loosing so I cut down even more calories or go straight to fasting. Too bad because I usually end up bingeing when I don't follow the restriction plan. Ever happened to anybody?
[Rant/Rave] [On mobile, please flair as rant/rave] 🙃 Just had waffles with my bff 🙃🙃🙃 why can't I have fun
/u/stupid-fat-idiot [5'4" (162 cm) | 145 lb (66 kg) | 25 | Female]
Created: Sat Sep 2 18:12:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xpyza/on_mobile_please_flair_as_rantrave_just_had/
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I went to my best friend's house and had waffles and now I fucking hate myself...I desperately want to purge, I hate myself so much, I know I'll be up like 2 pounds tomorrow. Feeling full makes me feel disgusting and sick, I'm so upset
[Discussion] Does anybody else wish that their boobs would just disappear?
/u/silverblackcat
Created: Sat Sep 2 18:00:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xpwrq/does_anybody_else_wish_that_their_boobs_would/
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It's like my boobs are an indicator of my weight. I want my weight to be so low that I won't need a bra, and that I can see my ribs. I don't care about if guys like bigger boobs or not; I want to just be skinny lol
Anybody else feel the same?
[Rant/Rave] *rant* not related to ed.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Sat Sep 2 17:33:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xps4r/rant_not_related_to_ed/
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I’ve been married for 18 months. The beginning was the best time of our lives. About 4 months in, I lied about something trivial but it hurt him a lot bc we promised not to lie. I was wrong. He held onto it for about 10 months. By then my self esteem and mental health was destroyed, as he kept bringing it up and moping around because of it. But I was wrong.
He finally gets over it and now we’ve had a new problem. I can’t initiate sex bc of my self esteem. Plus the fact that I’m not a very sexual person in general. When we first met, he told me he wasn’t a sexual person. Turns out, he NEEDS it to feel wanted. (Me starting it, anyways). So now, I can’t give him something he needs. I told him I would work on it, and I have. But guys, I’m coming from the absolute bottom. Now it’s the same thing. Him being super depressed everyday and me trying to keep positive vibes but failing bc of his mood. When I am down, bc of him, it makes him feel worse, and he says I’m being distant. Idk wtf to do. It’s hard bc we live together. I don’t want to leave him bc I love him but I don’t wanna continue to feel like this. Thoughts?
Plateu frustration
/u/CandidTriceratops [ 5'5'' | 208.8 | 34.8 | -17lbs | M]
Created: Sat Sep 2 17:26:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xpqtu/plateu_frustration/
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[removed]
[Tip] I made a pretty good peanut flour reconstitution recipe!
/u/ExtraQueerrestrial
Created: Sat Sep 2 16:58:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xpllk/i_made_a_pretty_good_peanut_flour_reconstitution/
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I use peanut flour, not pb2, so there's no sugar or salt already. Made this mixture and it was really freaking close in flavor to real PB, but with way better macros/way less calories.
To yield ~1/3c with only 125 calories and 16.5g protein (scale up or down as desired)
4T peanut flour (100c, 10g protein)
1/4 scoop vanilla protein powder (25c, 6.5g protein)
1/8-1/4tsp cinnamon (depends on how much you like)
1/8 tsp salt
Mix all of the above together and add water until desired consistency. I like it pretty pasty and dense like real peanut butter.
[Tip] ProTip for those who have coffee for breakfast!
/u/gradsquests
Created: Sat Sep 2 16:57:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xpliz/protip_for_those_who_have_coffee_for_breakfast/
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Cold brew is the least acidic, so if you're going out for your coffee order that - usually has 10%+ extra caffeine as well
If you're a poor bitch like me who makes their own coffee from a French Press then you can pour about 1.25X the amount of coffee fill it with cold water 12 hours before breakfast and then do the press down right before you plan on drinking it
Good shit (:
[Help] Binge
/u/rrdioherd [5ft6"| CW: 135lbs | 21.6 | -15lbs | F]
Created: Sat Sep 2 16:52:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xpkeg/binge/
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I binged tonight. I ate like, 2000 calories at LEAST. I don't know what to do. Fast tomorrow? Up my steps? Restrict more? I can't purge. Shared house of people who know I have, as they call, "eating problems". I am DREADING my morning weigh in. I'm also quite drunk right now. I really need support. Please help xox
[Help] I really need to talk to someone
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Sat Sep 2 16:38:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xphzw/i_really_need_to_talk_to_someone/
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Are any of you available? I'm feeling really depressed, and I don't have anyone else to talk to. Btw, I make posts like this (instead of contacting those of you who have previously said you're available) because I want someone who is online now. So that's why. But yeah. Thanks.
[Help] Recovery Standstill
/u/Jangan-Menangis
Created: Sat Sep 2 16:38:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xphx9/recovery_standstill/
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I'm on a throwaway since I made the mods ban my main account.
I've been going through a pretty steady recovery for the last three months, and I've been going really well and I'm almost at a healthy BMI (nearly back to 18.something), but today I keep having intense anxiety bouts because I'm worried about ***fucking breathing in dust and that it might have calories***. Hell, I haven't had these thoughts for months and months but suddenly they're just back.
I'm seeing my therapist again in a few days, I don't even know if I should tell him about this because I'm scared he'll intensify the treatment, but I'm also scared I might be relapsing back into an "intensive anorexic mindset" or whatever he calls it.
I don't know if this is normal in recovery, has anyone else experienced a sudden rush of their old and supposedly "long-forgotten" anxieties?
Edit: Hell, this is the first time I've been on this subreddit in months, maybe it's the void calling me back, I don't miss it.
[Rant/Rave] One of our regular customers commented on my weight loss... (RANT.)
/u/brita09234890235
Created: Sat Sep 2 16:38:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xphu7/one_of_our_regular_customers_commented_on_my/
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Rant incoming... I just need to vent since idk where else I'd post this. I was at work today when one of our regulars comes up to me and says "omg you've shrunk so much, you lost so much weight!" And I felt kinda good about it, but i still always feel awkward when people bring up my weight loss... anyways
Then she said "you need to stop losing so much weight, that's why you have acne. It'll all go away if you stop losing weight" and I'm just like whaaaaat 😂😂 I didn't know if I wanted to laugh or be offended... like there's so much wrong in that one sentence. Like losing weight = getting acne? I've had this shit on my face for almost 10 years since middle school, and I'm on my first week of antibiotics to reduce my acne so thanks but no thanks. jeeeeez. Why do people feel it's necessary to point out shit like acne or put in their 2 cents about losing weight? Mind your own damn business world! LET ME BE THIN!!!
Rant over.
[Rant/Rave] first time being triggered?!
/u/Yoclairecara10
Created: Sat Sep 2 16:22:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xpf14/first_time_being_triggered/
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okay so i've been struggling with disordered eating for a while and honestly idk if i would say i have an eating disorder but i restrict for a few days then h e a v y binge and it's a cycle. i'm ultimately losing weight but i've never been super inspired? like i try hard for reasons and goals and ideas but i've never had that passionate drive. i think i kinda got triggered once when i was at a dance and 0.0000 people asked me to dance but my friends got asked dozens of times. but today, it got realll. so there's a big backstory and to make it kinda short idk there's a lad alastair. we met at summer camp. talked online a LOT for 7 months. he was reluctant to meet me but we did and we had a great time. i self harmed a lot during this time (now 9 months clean and have kinda replaced with restricting) and he thought he was making me worse so 5 months after we met he said bye see you later love you but oh well i make you worse pls let's have a break. i've embarrassed myself many times messaging him pictures and songs and just long messages about how sad i am. got no dignity left. he has a group on facebook about theology (we're both christians) and i'm in it. i've never really looked at it cause it'll make me sad. today me and my sister thought lol let's listen to his podcast. she got bored and i listened for 2 hours by myself. he barely spoke and i was fine. then i looked through everything on that page. hundreds of posts of him talking and interacting with people i know. it was horrible. now a few hours later it's hitting me and i feel such a huge wave of resolve to never ever eat because he'll love me once i'm perfect and he'll see me for who i am. no fat in the way. no nothing in the way. so i'm lying here crying and idk but i'm pretty sure i was triggered. it hurts so bad. i'm sorry this is long but i honestly didn't know who else to tell because all my friends would tell my family or be too concerned and they wouldn't understand like you guys maybe would :// if you read this whole thing well done and thank you so so much <33
[Rant/Rave] Fuck shopping
/u/kickkkasss [5'5 | CW:134 | GW:110 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 2 16:00:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xpanq/fuck_shopping/
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I must be a masochist because I go shopping all the time and it inevitably leads to me crying in a dressing room and feeling like shit. Nothing fits. Nothing ever fits. When I was skinny shopping was fun and now it's just terrible. Im 155 (lol at my flair) and I just fucking hate myself. Im so uncomfortable all the time in all my clothes. It's terrible. Fuuuuuck.
[Help] I think I am finally going to break up with my boyfriend
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 2 15:23:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xp3k5/i_think_i_am_finally_going_to_break_up_with_my/
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[deleted]
[Other] Going to restart
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 56.5kg | BMI 18.6 |- 16kg | GW 52kg | 24F]
Created: Sat Sep 2 15:17:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xp2dk/going_to_restart/
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This is a splurge of thoughts and emotions
I've moved house 4 times this year and I'm really struggling with routine. I have a counselling appointment on the 11th and I'm so excited to have someone that is PAID to listen to my problems and therefore I don't feel (that) guilty boring for an hour every week.
Anyway, I have been bingeing and then restricting and so my weight is more at 58kg at the moment. My goal is to get to 52kg for my birthday in December and I reckon I can definitely do it.
At the end of September I'm moving to a new country and I will stay there indefinitely so it will be so easy to lose weight. I'm getting my visa at the moment but I return to my city on Wednesday. I'm going to try and be normal and just suffer through these next few days and then start restricting again. I can't restrict when I have no routine.
I am currently sleeping with a few people (because I have no self confidence) and I want them to marvel at how thin I am, which has happened before. So, I need to be losing weight pronto.
Thanks for letting me get this out guys X
[Help] Having New Roommates Soon
/u/borrow_our_light [5'6| 132.2lbs | 21.42 BMI | GW 125 | UGW 115 | 20F]
Created: Sat Sep 2 15:08:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xp0h5/having_new_roommates_soon/
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For 2 years now I have lived completely by myself; Well its not as feasible for me anymore since im into my Junior Year of college and i have a lot of conferences to go to along with my massive capstone paper. So i will be moving in with my best friend and his girlfriend. We have all been friends since my freshman year in college. We know literally everything about each other and i spend so much time with them that i basically live there already.
The thing is they love junk food; and good for them for being able to eat at every meal. So since i didn't live with them i was able to lie about when/what i was eating when they would ask. Now i feel like im going to have them breathing down my neck to eat all the time.
My best friend is really weird about people with eating disorders, he vaguely knows that i struggled with one in high school but he is completely in the dark about now.
I just don't know how im going to live with people and continue living how i am without receiving the backlash that i have been avoiding for 2 years.
[Discussion] Does cellulite go away as you lose?
/u/Polarplaid
Created: Sat Sep 2 15:05:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xozu6/does_cellulite_go_away_as_you_lose/
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I'm already skinny but I have alot of cellulite. I'm hoping it'll go away as I lose will it.
[Goal] Didn't lose control
/u/elliotte-mckinnon [23F |5'6|CW:158|BMI 25|GW: 135|UGW: 110|-207bs]
Created: Sat Sep 2 14:53:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xox6u/didnt_lose_control/
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So I recently posted about how I was invited to go on a double date to the drive in and how stressful that was going to be. I went yesterday and it felt like a victory. I packed my own little snack while everyone else had huge ice creams and sodas and popcorn. Literally, counting the calories that I ate vs. them and I can't even believe it. I felt so good about it. It wasn't even weird. I even had a bite of my boyfriend's ice cream (yes, I stopped at a bite!) and didn't feel like that ruined everything. I was still way under my calorie goal.
I finally ordered my new scale and a food scale on Amazon today and hopefully, they will come before next weekend. I did weigh myself yesterday, which I was totally scared of, and I'm exactly where I thought I would be. I've lost 30 pounds since the highest weight I've seen since leaving treatment. Hopefully, I will make my goal by my birthday in February. Fingers crossed.
[Intro] new roommates, new problems
/u/littlewerebear [5'1 | 120 | 22.7 | -15lbs | F]
Created: Sat Sep 2 14:48:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xow1c/new_roommates_new_problems/
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Hi everyone! Consider this an intro!
I'm a binge/restrict/orthorexic who has gone through short spurts of recovery and healthful eating and exercise but my mental health issues make it really tricky to maintain. I've been as high as 160-170 lbs and as low as 97 lbs.
I was in an bad living situation where I felt uncomfortable/depressed and did lots of binging alone in my room, or not eating at all, which is typical but got intense. I don't like people to see me eat. I'm Brittany Murphy in Girl, Interrupted without the chicken carcasses under my bed. I have GI issues from past stress/mental health issues and I hate eating, fullness, digestion, all of it. Everything makes me feel sick. I just want to be empty always.
ANYWAY, I had to move quick so I got a room in an apartment with two women I don't know. One seems normal and healthy, while the other told me about her eating disorder, and from what she said, it seemed severe at one point and she admitted to struggling still. Her eating habits are weird and unhealthy. So are mine, but unlike her, I've never been diagnosed with or treated for an ED, so I tried to talk about it but I could tell she was skeptical because I'm a healthy BMI right now. It felt competitive. She tells me I should eat more. I don't want her to see the scale in my room. I don't know if I should just do what I want (restrict/stick to safe foods), but I hate when people comment on my eating. She'll know every sign and I won't be able to hide.
Everyone thinks I have my shit under control, and any food issues are gut sensitivities or just being healthy. I'm obsessed with "healthy" eating and every food becomes either "good" or "bad". I think about it constantly, I get so anxious when I can't control my food or having anyone see me buy or eat food. A friend offered to take me grocery shopping and I faked being really sick so he wouldn't see what I buy or comment on it.
Now I'm with one (seemingly) normal, happy, healthy roommate and one who struggles with longtime ED. What is this going to do to my already fucked up issues?
[Other] Guess I'm using my lunch calories for alcohol
/u/elliotte-mckinnon [23F |5'6|CW:158|BMI 25|GW: 135|UGW: 110|-207bs]
Created: Sat Sep 2 14:45:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xov6z/guess_im_using_my_lunch_calories_for_alcohol/
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I've never been a big drinker, especially while restricting because alcohol is just so high in calories. But today, this diet cranberry juice didn't taste right and I walked to the liquor store down the street. 3 shots of Watermelon smirnoff in my diet cranberry is lunch right? At least vodka isn't as terrible as some of the others calorie wise. What the fuck am I doing?
[Rant/Rave] College
/u/giraffes_are_selfish
Created: Sat Sep 2 14:18:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xooin/college/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Diabulimia/Anorexia/Binge Eating Rant
/u/GloomySunday96 [Height: 5'7 | CW:169lbs LW:130 | BMI:26.5 | WL:1lbs| Gender:F21]
Created: Sat Sep 2 13:15:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xo9p2/diabulimiaanorexiabinge_eating_rant/
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This is my first post on here and I hate that it's going to be a rant but I'm feeling very down and under the weather about my weight rn. **Diabulimia (a portmanteau of diabetes and bulimia) refers to an eating disorder in which people with Type 1 diabetes deliberately give themselves less insulin than they need, for the purpose of weight loss. Diabulimia is not currently recognized as a formal diagnosis by the medical or psychiatric communities.**So basically I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes at the age of 15. By the time I was 16 I was refusing to take insulin with my meals because I figured out it made me lose weight extremely quickly. If I stop taking my insulin right now I could easily lose 15-20lbs in one month. Simply because any food I eat will no absorb into my body without insulin injections so my body in turn starts eating itself. The downside to this is your body quickly shuts down and you die eventually. Usually from organ failure. I have been rushed to the E.R. six times in under five years and each time I was on death's door. What frustrates me about this is I could never seem to get under 130lbs at the height of all my eating disorders. I feel really hopeless because I can't continue my Diabulima because my fiance closely monitors my insulin usage and my fiance also makes me eat whenever he is home. I desperately want to be as thin as I use to be or even thinner but I also feel like it's impossible for me. :( On top of this I have issues binge eating when I am depressed/stressed/anxious/or just plain bored and my fiance is a stoner who always brings home snacks after work. I feel like I'm facing a 1,000ft. wall and I'm expected to scale it and get to the other side.
[Help] How do I end a binge cycle?
/u/tacehtelle [5"7 | 119.5 | 18.65 :( | 6.5 lbs :( | Female]
Created: Sat Sep 2 12:50:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xo2pf/how_do_i_end_a_binge_cycle/
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Its getting so distracting all I can think about during school is going home and eating a bag of hot cheetos
bulimia sickness?? tmi
/u/oniondipndots
Created: Sat Sep 2 12:45:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xo19u/bulimia_sickness_tmi/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] How I know I'm relapsing: I currently have five books about EDs checked out from the library, and two more (plus a film) on hold.
/u/EinHungerkunstler [5'2.75" | 103 | 18.39 (standard), 18.94 (new)]
Created: Sat Sep 2 12:29:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xnwyk/how_i_know_im_relapsing_i_currently_have_five/
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[removed]
[Help] Dinner
/u/randiont [174cm | 137kg | 45.25 | 0kg | Male]
Created: Sat Sep 2 12:22:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xnuzy/dinner/
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[removed]
[Discussion] September 2nd, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/a_horse_says_weigh [5'5" | 128.6 | 21.65 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 2 11:58:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xno9j/september_2nd_2017_question_of_the_day/
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Is your apartment/home clean?
(New username, sorry)
[Rant/Rave] Why the fuck do so many restaurants not list calories?
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 115.4 | GW: 110 | M/15]
Created: Sat Sep 2 11:12:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xndao/why_the_fuck_do_so_many_restaurants_not_list/
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Aren't they like legally required to list calories now or something?
[Discussion] Smokers, why do you smoke?
/u/ballerinainpain [5'5" | CW: 117 | BMI: fatass | GW: 75 | Vegan]
Created: Sat Sep 2 11:09:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xnckz/smokers_why_do_you_smoke/
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It makes me feel like the lowest shit, but I smoke BECAUSE I feel like the lowest shit. That, and it curbs hunger pains for fucking HOURS because I love when my breath smells like cigarettes. Why do you guys smoke (if you do)
[Discussion] Weird thinspo
/u/coffeexsmokes [5'2" | 100 | -50 | 21F]
Created: Sat Sep 2 10:49:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xn76i/weird_thinspo/
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Not sure how to flair this but I wanted to share.
I've got the weirdest thinspo ever I think and I feel like I should feel ashamed about it maybe? But seriously it's my WoW character, like holy fuck I hit a random for character customization so hair and such looks nothing like me, but I'm playing this leggy elf with a tiny waist and a big battle axe which honestly, I want to be tiny AF but also vaguely threatening.
That wasn't completely coherent but I super wanted to share cause I feel like I'd get waaaay judged if I shared anywhere else lol.
Anyone else slightly ashamed of their thinspo?
[Rant/Rave] I love you d-hall!
/u/Rickticia
Created: Sat Sep 2 10:42:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xn5id/i_love_you_dhall/
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20 cal miso and tofu soup (6 ounces). I'm stocking up 💕
Edit: Fuck you d-hall! They fucking lied on the menu. 😡 They're not serving the soup today.
[Discussion] Has anyone tried Slim Fruits?
/u/timetofadeaway [5'2 | CW scaredlikeamouse | LW 91 | GW1 110 | UGW 90 | F21]
Created: Sat Sep 2 09:52:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xmsl0/has_anyone_tried_slim_fruits/
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I saw these online for a reasonable price. They first looked like regular sugar free sweets but the nutrition states the fiber per 49 kcal is 10g which looks pretty awesome.
Wondering if anyone has tasted them and if they'd be worth it.
Happy weekend <3
[Rant/Rave] Ok now, intro / rant. Y ? because its necessary.
/u/ed_Dom
Created: Sat Sep 2 09:13:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xmjvu/ok_now_intro_rant_y_because_its_necessary/
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Intro part.
Mainly due to the friends who I can talk about this stuff with are 600 km away and the ones here can‘t understand.
Moved back in with my parents in july after finishing my bachelors in austria (welp…) . Besides the obvious and obligatory „you have to eat, dear“ from my mother, I‘m getting the „since you‘re only studying from april next year again, get yourself sth to do, either a job or an internship“ from my father. All the while trying to hide my ‚restricting‘ [1200 kcal @193cm male, ~95kg, ~18% bf]
whats even more annoying, my room has been their storage room for the last year i spent abroad, basically i got 1m on a 2,5 m desk and the bed. the rest is storage boxes, their old clothes, and what ever they decided to throw in. No chance to get sth thrown out, because they‘re both messies.
Food issues were always… idk, binge-y, no concept of portion sizes (thanks obese class 2 mum+dad), to stay in control of myself i‘ve always found it easier to box some food, leave the house / appartement / dorm and eat where i literally couldn‘t get a second helping or just throw it out. RN i feel like the worst Dom ever, unable to even control what he shoves into his mouth, how are subs supposed to be able to let go with me...
Rant part (feel free to skip, some BDSM stuff… really rant-y)
I‘ve been texting with that adorable redhead sub [de], though she isn‘t that experienced had spent the last 6 months going from vanilla to… very curious. Went out to coffee 2 wks ago, though we were compatible and she wanted to see me again, i declined at first, since she was ice cold and emotionally unavailable.
Out of the blue last week she asks again, says she‘d try to warm up more. Some more texting, some pics, asks me to come over on wednesday night (10 pm). Sadly I was spending the evening with another girl [mo], told her I‘d love to but was busy. [de] told me we‘ll do saturday just as scheduled.
[had somewhat called her out on not being able do pin down a day / time, either she‘s interested enough to meet up or she‘s fucking/ playing with someone else and I refuse to be an option if you‘re bored.]
Today at 11 she asks me where we‘ll meet up in the afternoon. As i left my phone at home when leaving for the gym I reply at 2, she‘s still seems exited. 3 o‘clock, she tells me she „can‘t let anybody near her rn, but doesn‘t want to see anyone“ ask her why the „booty call“ happened on wed then, no answer… this is where my lack of sleep and therefore bad temper comes in, tell her to get her life back on track.
Due to that she (rightfully? ) blocked me.
Another girl [mn] cancelled our coffee earlier today, mostly bc I suggest she‘d appear in heels and a skirt.
The aforementioned lack of sleep is disturbing, since I usually sleep like a rock, solid 8 h a night, wake up fully rested and in control of myself. The last two weeks I had maybe 90 min of sleep per night, I can barely concentrate, get angry ALL the time when sth annoys me, can‘t control my impulses (guess who bought two bags of licorice yesterday, plus 2 family size crisp bags? And ate them in a single sitting with icecream and pumpkinseed oil?. )
now I‘m bloated, lack a masochist, can‘t sleep, can‘t control my urges, hate myself and am going to the gym a second time tonight. 3Rd time in 36 h, either a new low or a new high… not sure rn.
I guess thats what I get for not trying to play with her that 1st meeting, but I‘ve found playing with s/o without emotional investment on their side feels hollow and unsatisfying for me. I guess it‘s the distinction between wanting to obey and just obeying to get off… but idk.
Damn, that was longer and way more detailed than expected,
oh yeah, and my brother didn't invite me to my nephews 1. birthday next week. take that as you will :(
[Goal] From normal weight to underweight to overweight and now hopefully back to underweight again
/u/mehoyminoj
Created: Sat Sep 2 08:54:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xmf6q/from_normal_weight_to_underweight_to_overweight/
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This year I've gone from underweight to overweight due to binge eating, lots of stress and depression. I hate myself for it and feel horrible now, though I'm in the process of just forgiving myself and getting over it. As long as I'm going to be thin again. I don't want to waste an *entire* year, I've wasted enough time by now.
Starting next week from Friday, the 7th of September, the day of my last exam, I will start a one month water fast. It seems almost impossible to me, but I managed to do a few seemingly impossible things already and I'm convinced I can do it. I did a one week a few months ago, and I was so happy and proud. I'll feel amazing after four weeks.
I've lurked a lot on r/fasting and read a lot about it. I know the signs of when to stop. I'll be safe and losing fat quickly! ~
If anyone wants to join me then, feel free!
[Rant/Rave] 12lbs in ONE WEEK omg binge hell
/u/Hellobooboocat
Created: Sat Sep 2 08:45:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xmd1d/12lbs_in_one_week_omg_binge_hell/
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I just weighed myself after a week-long binge. Never eating again. I gained 12lbs.
Popped my EC stack. I think I have to fast until my sweetie gets back in town on Tuesday. Will that be long enough???
I've never had a binge this bad!!
[Other] when you are hooking up with someone new and they ask you what you usually eat for breakfast
/u/smalldicksarein
Created: Sat Sep 2 08:31:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xm9td/when_you_are_hooking_up_with_someone_new_and_they/
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https://i.redd.it/lau8hfmschjz.jpg
[Discussion] DAE really struggle to lose toward the low end of "healthy" BMI
/u/misterrazorz [159 | 44.4 | 17.9 | a]
Created: Sat Sep 2 07:54:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xm1u9/dae_really_struggle_to_lose_toward_the_low_end_of/
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[removed]
[Help] Fasting after a binge and now afraid to eat
/u/ashirun97
Created: Sat Sep 2 07:52:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xm1k3/fasting_after_a_binge_and_now_afraid_to_eat/
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I binged hard as fuck yesterday and now want to fast, at least for a little bit, to compensate.
The problem is every time I think about having to eat a meal I get so fucking stressed out. Food never even satisfies me so why eat at all?
DAE ever feel like it's just easier to not eat at all?
I'm worried one bite will open the flood gates again.
[Discussion] What are some of your favorite restricting mantras?
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Sat Sep 2 07:51:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xm1b5/what_are_some_of_your_favorite_restricting_mantras/
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I'm trying to beat binging, and I know that mantras really helped calmed me down in the past. Do you all have any that really help you?
[Goal] semi recovered for a bit but finally!!!!!! lowest weight ever. just 16.8 pounds to go
/u/nchlaz [5'11 | 137 | 18.5 | -70 | M]
Created: Sat Sep 2 07:48:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xm0w7/semi_recovered_for_a_bit_but_finally_lowest/
---
https://i.redd.it/1bv49o7j5hjz.jpg
[Discussion] I make people self conscious
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 189lb | M]
Created: Sat Sep 2 07:33:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xlyf1/i_make_people_self_conscious/
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I went to the dining hall for breakfast this morning (an apple and some water) and sat in a fairly secluded area. The two girls near me (french toast, sausage) and the boys across the isle (latkes) started talking about health/weightloss within a few minutes of my arrival.
I don't think it happens consciously, but I'm positive seeing my sad meal created the thought for them. It happens all the time--I'm not really "thin" yet, not by a long shot, but I eat like it and even non-disordered people know rough calorie counts.
[Rant/Rave] This may be the end...
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sat Sep 2 06:34:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xln5t/this_may_be_the_end/
---
On mobile flair as rant rave or help.
I'm alone. I have no one and I'm miserable. I can't keep this up. I can't keep going.
Maybe this will be it.
Who knows or for that matter cares?
People can't stand me so maybe I need to just stop. Thank you for the final nudge over edge.
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] SO said something that made me feel really good
/u/then_she_said [5'7 | -50 | 27F | UGW: 130]
Created: Sat Sep 2 06:22:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xlkx2/so_said_something_that_made_me_feel_really_good/
---
We're going as Rose Quartz and Greg (Steven Universe characters) for Halloween this year, and my fiancee was looking for t-shirts online for the costumes. He found some sweet hoodies that were uni-sex size and asked what size I would need. I told him probably a Large, since Halloween last year I would have needed an X-Large to not have it tight across my stomach and fat tits.
Well, he looked at me and said, "I think you need a Medium, that sweatshirt you're wearing (his sweatshirt) is a XL and it's massive on you."
*Guysssssss*. I died a little bit inside and told him to order the Medium! I'm not honestly 100% convinced that it will fit, but we shall see :)
Also weighed in at my lowest this morning despite binging way too much this week. Treating myself with some expensive coffee and almond milk, a few episodes of My 600-lb Life, and a breakfast of boiled eggs, guacamole and 45-cal toast.
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! September 02, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Sep 2 06:10:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xlimo/stupid_questions_saturday_september_02_2017/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for September 02, 2017.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! September 02, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Sep 2 06:10:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xlihj/daily_food_diary_september_02_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 02, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] Every time someone notices I've lost weight
/u/slave2thepoon [169cm | CW 55 | GW 50 | 21F]
Created: Sat Sep 2 05:05:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xl8xt/every_time_someone_notices_ive_lost_weight/
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Instead of making me feel good that they've noticed I'm smaller it makes me feel worse like I must have been so fat before because I still feel so fat now?? A co worker just asked if I've lost weight and now I'm feeling so shit because I binged today when I told myself I was going to restrict and now I seriously need to make up for it :(
[Rant/Rave] Hello lovelies, another update from my shitty life
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sat Sep 2 03:40:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xkwmp/hello_lovelies_another_update_from_my_shitty_life/
---
On mobile flair as rant
So I told myself August was a fuck up and it was and so my logic was to spend the last week of indulging my binge cravings so here I am a day into the month wishing I could just die.
I plan to fast almost all month and result to harsh tactics to keep myself in line I can't keep back sliding. I will lose 20 pounds this month.
I charged over 300 dollars to my credit card in the past week when my remains after rent are only 500 or so each month. I'm so mad about my lack of self control and things are not helping my esteem.
I've tried apps to meet people because I really want to be validated or seen as attractive to someone and I'm just average or worst. I feel worse than the people in my 600lb life. Everyone on tinder is too fucking pretty and I'm just a no one.
Other life developments. I came out as nonbinary to a few folks and am asking some to actually address me by my chosen name in addition to requests prior made for nonbinary pronouns.
I am Willow/ they/ them. I am more aggressive about mispronouns especially to coworkers I have to correct constantly.
I got a sternum tattoo a few weeks ago that I adore but I feel like I need to be leaner to add more to my torso.
I want people to know I'm sick. To see it. To see how troubles I am instead of thinking I'm just funny. I say depressing things and people write it off as dark humor.
My grandma may die soon. She had a stroke during a procedure and may never recognize me again and it makes me sad. She contributed a lot to my ED and insecurity but also had a lot of faith in "God". I'm an existential atheist and still I can appreciate faith and dedication. If there is a God why would they let this happen.
I feel like I can't eat much because I'm mourning. My reality has become so deseaturated and dark. What do I live for anymore? Chasing my own death.
Willow
[Rant/Rave] I don't even know how many calories I've eaten
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 180lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Sat Sep 2 01:57:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xkic4/i_dont_even_know_how_many_calories_ive_eaten/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I made a friend because of my ED
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Fri Sep 1 23:38:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xk1rt/i_made_a_friend_because_of_my_ed/
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I was talking to a few people from class and sort of obliquely referenced having been in treatment. One of the people I was talking to sort of stopped, then asked me where I went for IP/res/IOP, and we bonded over how universally garbage they are and how especially garbage our local one is.
You know that moment in Legally Blonde when Elle Woods finds out that her law professor is one of her sorority sisters? Finding out that someone in your normal life went to your treatment center is exactly like that.
How much will I lose?
/u/Kinglens311
Created: Fri Sep 1 23:28:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xk0eb/how_much_will_i_lose/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xjws9/how_much_will_i_lose/?utm_source=ifttt
[Discussion] Would you rather be rich but struggle with your weight for the rest of your life, or be skinny but never being financially stable?
/u/mypure [5'8 | 20 | 🍑: mypure]
Created: Fri Sep 1 23:23:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xjzji/would_you_rather_be_rich_but_struggle_with_your/
---
[Goal] How much will I lose?
/u/coffeebean27
Created: Fri Sep 1 23:03:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xjws9/how_much_will_i_lose/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] so much binge food
/u/batsadoodledoo
Created: Fri Sep 1 22:14:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xjp4t/so_much_binge_food/
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We had a neighborhood party today, so mom not only baked a cake but bought a ton of bread rolls. The turnout wasn't what she expected so our fridge is full of leftovers. (About half a cake and two unopened bags of the rolls!!)
Bread and baked goods are my number one binge food. I could easily eat a whole bag of those rolls plain, not to mention the cake. I'm going to be home all weekend. It's stressing me out so bad, I don't trust myself to be anywhere near the kitchen right now. I don't know if I can avoid it for three days ;~; Honestly I just want to hide in my room and cry right now and never ever come out.
[Rant/Rave] I wish I wanted to be healthy
/u/dahee3697 [5'1.5" | CW: 120 | GW: 100 | F | 19]
Created: Fri Sep 1 22:10:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xjojh/i_wish_i_wanted_to_be_healthy/
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I want to want to be healthy. Why do I crave this? I pray about it time and time again, but I still crave it. I feel so rotten inside. I feel hopeless.
[Other] How to ruin a binge
/u/tacehtelle [5"7 | 119.5 | 18.65 :( | 6.5 lbs :( | Female]
Created: Fri Sep 1 22:06:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xjnpz/how_to_ruin_a_binge/
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Have someone enter the kitchen as your on your scavenger hunt for the highest calorie foods in your kitchen, then have to take the walk of shame past them while carrying all your food into your room to eat in 16 minutes.
[Rant/Rave] Just found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me
/u/dahee3697 [5'1.5" | CW: 120 | GW: 100 | F | 19]
Created: Fri Sep 1 22:04:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xjneh/just_found_out_my_boyfriend_has_been_cheating_on/
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He's an international playboy apparently. Great, 5 months of nothing but wasted time and insincerity. Great motivation to starve.
so much binge food in the house right now
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 1 21:58:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xjm8i/so_much_binge_food_in_the_house_right_now/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] So i honestly thought Halo Top was bullshit........
/u/NotStephany [5'5| 193 | 32.49 | -101lbs | F]
Created: Fri Sep 1 20:44:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xjc0s/so_i_honestly_thought_halo_top_was_bullshit/
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That is what i *HAD* thought....until today. I was at the store and saw that they had a bunch of Halo Top at the front of the isle. I see all the flavors, vanilla bean, birthday cake, and in my mind i'm thinking those probably taste like frozen saw dust. So, suddenly i see "Strawberry" , just plain strawberry at 280 calories for the pint!!!
The word "bullshit" came to my mind soooo many times , i don't know why but i really thought this was all some big scam and everyone was pretending to love Halo Top.
That was until right now, i have smoked *a lot* of weed and i feel the need to binge so i say whatever and grab the halo top and **oooohhhhh my gooooodddddddd* this is a god send. It's sooooooooooooooo goood. Is this even legal? Like wowowowowowoow my whole life has changed.
[Rant/Rave] The urge to binge wwhhyy
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~60lbs | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Fri Sep 1 20:21:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xj7wn/the_urge_to_binge_wwhhyy/
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I'm home... theres food all over the house... ive already gone over 1000 cals (all the way or none the way mantality fu c k 😣😫) ... i wont be able to weight myself for the next 3 days.... have to eat a ton for the next three days as well.... i want to eat so bad... ahhh
Update: Ive eaten a bunch of candy :((( total calories at 1300 now....
Update 2: the peanut butter is calling to me... ive taken my sleeping medicine but all the caffeine i drank is basically making them useless... agghh
[Rant/Rave] i started singing a song to help me win
/u/61nk0
Created: Fri Sep 1 19:39:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xj0e8/i_started_singing_a_song_to_help_me_win/
---
rant, mobile only, i apologise
this lil ditty goes somethin like this:
"piggy piggy oink oink piggy piggy oink oink
piggy, oink, piggy, oink, piggy piggy oink oink
[61nk0]'s a piggy and lost control of her life
piggy piggy oink oink piggy piggy oink oink
[61nk0] hates herself and creates a lot of strife
oink oink, piggy, oink oink oink
rather than therapy, she just wont eat
piggy piggy, oink, piggy piggy piggy
until the day her body has been beat
oink oink oink, piggy, oink oink oink
*loud porcine squeal*"
yeah maybe im having a rough night. thank you for listening 🎵🎶🐷
[Goal] I KNOW IT'S NOT A DIGITAL SCALE AND IT'S SHITTY AND PROBABLY WRONG BUT SEEING THAT I'M ALMOST AT 45KGS IS AMAZING 💕 (5'4 F)
/u/-M00nFlower
Created: Fri Sep 1 19:12:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xiv53/i_know_its_not_a_digital_scale_and_its_shitty_and/
---
https://i.redd.it/y7u2790iedjz.jpg
I KNOW IT'S NOT A DIGITAL SCALE AND THE LIKELYNESS OF IT BEING WRONG BUT ALMOST AT 45KGS 💕
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 1 19:10:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xiux4/i_know_its_not_a_digital_scale_and_the_likelyness/
---
https://i.redd.it/sppmzkhaedjz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Kinda hoping for a relapse
/u/littlesmol [5'5" | CW embarrassing | GW 120 | UGW 95 | F 😊]
Created: Fri Sep 1 18:32:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xinf4/kinda_hoping_for_a_relapse/
---
So a few months ago in an attempt at recovery I decided "fuck it, I'm gonna die someday anyway and no one cares about me so I should just stop making myself so unhappy and just eat like a normal person". But apparently eating like a normal person is impossible for me since I just switched from not eating at all to eating nothing but excessive amounts of junk food. Unless someone cooks something I replace every meal with chips, chocolate, cookies, candy, and everything else that has no actual nutritional value. Needless to say, my weight has skyrocketed. So, after supper tonight I decided to load up on cheesecake and chips, and after grabbing my "little" snack and preparing to go to my room, my dad walked in, looked at all the food I had, looked me up and down, and said "so you're on a see-food diet now huh?" So now I'm sitting in my room crying surrounded by all this junk food that I'm probably still gonna end up eating out of sadness, but I'm kinda hoping that come tomorrow I'll remember this feeling and it'll help me go back to not eating? Like, I don't wanna stop eating again because it sucked, but this also sucks and at least if I don't eat I'll be losing weight instead of gaining it. So yeah. Hopefully I'll be back to losing weight and regularly frequenting this subreddit soon. Not really sure why I'm posting this honestly; I guess I just needed to vent but I can't tell anyone in my life because I don't want to worry anyone.
**TL;DR:** I basically switched from anorexia to binge eating and I'm hoping my father's comments about my eating habits will help me switch back.
[Rant/Rave] Metabolism is a bitch.
/u/ilayonthewheel
Created: Fri Sep 1 18:28:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ximqv/metabolism_is_a_bitch/
---
I'd had a pretty good streak going the last two months. Went from 165 in July to 135. But my husband caught on to my wily ways... I'm supposed to be in "recovery" after all, and he basically said he's not going to stand around and watch me self-destruct. So for the last week or so, I've been having 3 eating "events" per day-- not exactly meals, but things. A few bites of yogurt. An apple. Sometimes even a Lean Cuisine frozen meal. I'd estimate my daily caloric intake at maybe 500 now. And damn it all if I didn't MAINTAIN at 135 for an entire week. What kind of bullshit is that?!
This morning, though, I finally broke through to 134.5. I hope this metabolism mess corrects itself.
[Tip] Binging spicy stuff
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 1 18:27:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ximms/binging_spicy_stuff/
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[removed]
Binging spicy foods
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 1 18:26:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ximcd/binging_spicy_foods/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I'm going to be judged, but I need to vent. Please tag.
/u/Imaslooooot
Created: Fri Sep 1 16:17:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xhwu5/im_going_to_be_judged_but_i_need_to_vent_please/
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this is a throwaway because I know I'm going to be judged, and yeah. This is probably going to be triggering to some people. I don't have the greatest self confidence. I hate my personality. I'm extremely anxious, and I have a speech impediment. I try my best to make my outside make up for my inside and it's led to an eating disorder for the past 15 years. I was sexually abused as a child and some of the things he would say made me think I would only be good for that. My ex's kind of reinforced this by saying things like "Thank God you're hot." I started sleeping with my manager when I was 20. We're both the same age so it was ok. I'm really good at you know "it". We continued to sleep together for the next 7 years. Even moving a hour away. I was his side piece when he couldn't get enough from his main. I felt horrible but I loved him and I thought if I kept doing it that he would love me back. He was never mean. We'll I told him last night that I couldn't do it anymore. That guilt was overwhelming and "the fact that I'm crazy and I'm pretty sure that 90% of the guys that are with me is because of what I can do and how I look" he said "pretty much." I feel disgusting. I feel hurt. I actually thought he was my friend. You don't sleep with someone for that long and not be at least friends. I feel terrible. I feel fat. I feel like I didn't earn his love because I am so disgusting. If I was 20 pounds lighter then I would have more than my one dimension personality. I just needed some where to vent and I'm sorry
[Intro] First time on an ED board...
/u/2017HeyJude
Created: Fri Sep 1 16:15:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xhwcc/first_time_on_an_ed_board/
---
(On mobile, can't flair, if a mod can flair this as intro?)
I've been lurking here for a few weeks now. I love the atmosphere here and the non judgement. I've interacted with some of you and honestly you all seem so nice and understanding it's a heaven.
So (probably not so) quick intro:
I had some eating disorders when I was a teen (16/17ish), but very low-key. I would starve myself a bit but still eat with my parents and sometimes binge on snacks after school. It went on for a few years (I can't purge because I have a phobia of vomiting), and my weight fluctuated and then I moved out and focused my energy on other stuff.
I later learned my mum was very suspicious at that time but never told me, she though I could figure myself on my own. Honestly after that for a few years I was completely out of this stuff. But last year I got really sick (can't get out of bed, massive pain and can't eat kinda sick), doctors didn't find anything and said it was a virus (that went on for 2 months... sure). They advised me to get a therapist because it was all in my head. Truth is I was doing quite good before getting sick but it just got me in a bad depression and got my anxiety back up BIG TIME so I did went to a therapist. I also lost 4kg without trying (when you can't eat or do anything it's easy I guess). So I've been in therapy for a year about my anxiety and it was a big help for that.
But. The weight loss got me back into ED. I was normally around 55kg (I'm 1.60m, dunno about inches and lbs sorry), but before being sick I was more around 58 because I didn't care what I ate. After being sick I was at 54. Soooo... it took me a few months to get back to health and work but now I've spiraled into starving and counting calories and I'm at 51.7kg. My first GW is 50kg because I like round number and my UGW is 45kg because I remember being younger and weighing that. (Stupid I know).
And today i tried to open up about the food stuff to my therapist and he just said some generic stuff about your body needing nutriments or whatever. He also said I didn't take that much anxiety medication so I must be doing fine. Which of course in my fucked to mind means "take way more medication and lose way more weight to prove him wrong". Which is stupid because I like my therapist, he has been a great help. I just don't want to recover now but I also want someone to acknowledge I'm being dangerous to my health and... well I don't exactly know what I want except that UGW 😔
Sorry this was very long, and rambling, I had 2 beers tonight (skipped dinner so it's balanced ahah) and just needed to get this stuff off my chest. I've you've read this far, I'm giving you a virtual hug ❤️
I'm going to be super judged because of this but I need people to talk to. Tag this please.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 1 16:08:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xhuxo/im_going_to_be_super_judged_because_of_this_but_i/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Motivation to workout
/u/Ofca0
Created: Fri Sep 1 15:47:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xhq9q/motivation_to_workout/
---
So a long time ago I throught of this trick to motivate myself to workout more, as I even now hate the stuff and would find excuses everywhere. The rule was simple: I'm not allowed to eat anything, until I do a workout.
Really anything, go for a run or something.
And that kids, was the first time I didn't eat for 3 days straight.
[Rant/Rave] Parents postponed their trip!
/u/_dissonant_
Created: Fri Sep 1 15:23:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xhkt8/parents_postponed_their_trip/
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[removed]
Told bf, backfired
/u/sadbean17
Created: Fri Sep 1 15:10:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xhhxy/told_bf_backfired/
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[removed]
[Goal] Successful restriction: -10lbs in 2 weeks!
/u/biscuitsisfluffy [5'4 | 11 st 1 | -10]
Created: Fri Sep 1 14:48:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xhcwy/successful_restriction_10lbs_in_2_weeks/
---
https://i.redd.it/y7zfzsqf3cjz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Purging
/u/SwedishKaiser
Created: Fri Sep 1 14:22:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xh730/purging/
---
Guys.
I did it. I purged for the first time.
I had a particularly bad day. I just couldn't stop c/s ing and eating chocolate. I ate all my calories today in chocolate. I ate my tdee (1780) and burned off 250 calories but it wasn't enough.
I was in the bathroom c/s ing a snickers bar and when I was done, I purged. The ice cream I had came out, and some fruit cake or maybe blood, but I didn't taste blood so I'm thinking it was food.
I have mixed feelings. I'm glad I didn't have a Gain Day, but I also know that it's going to go down hill from here. I better buckle up. I told myself I would never, ever purge.
I guess this is a (RANT)?
[Rant/Rave] Started smoking instead of eating
/u/smange719
Created: Fri Sep 1 14:22:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xh6zd/started_smoking_instead_of_eating/
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Soooo I used to smoke only when drunk but as of late I've been using cigarettes to calm me down as well as a substitute for food. I know this is not healthy (but I mean, nothing I do is healthy), but I was just wondering does anyone else do this? And what can I do instead of smoke to reduce my appetite and distract me?
[Help] UK (mini) Safe Food Haul!
/u/elliebearrrr [F21 | 5'5.75" | SW: 175lbs CW: 155lbs GW1: 140lbs]
Created: Fri Sep 1 14:22:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xh6z6/uk_mini_safe_food_haul/
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https://i.redd.it/bn33besrybjz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Necessary celebrations
/u/tortoise80
Created: Fri Sep 1 14:20:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xh6hu/necessary_celebrations/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] WTF, body?
/u/Mi__ra [165cm |50 kg | 18,4 | 8 kg | F]
Created: Fri Sep 1 14:15:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xh5gg/wtf_body/
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My weight has been pretty stable for months and months. I haven't really even tried to lose weight, I have just relied on going through these motions to keep me, you know, "sane" as in not sane, but able to function.
I haven't had my period in three months. I'm sort of glad, but I don't understand why.
And I feel many of the other symptoms of not eating enough, like fatigue, getting weaker instead of stronger and.. well, I do get pretty paranoid too. But I AM eating enough, obviously. So WTF, body? I treat you well enough, why are you doing this to me???
[Rant/Rave] I'm really depressed today and when I'm depressed I eat fried food (and more!) RANT (C/S WARNING)
/u/Trinkets-Baubles [5'3 | idek | 28.22 maybe | 18 | F | UGW 110]
Created: Fri Sep 1 14:15:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xh5db/im_really_depressed_today_and_when_im_depressed_i/
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So I made 3 fist fulls of fried french fries, and then c/sed them. I'm so afraid someone is going to notice, it's in my livingroom garbage. My dog keeps sniffing at it. I feel like such a monster, it was like 3 meals worth of fries that I just wasted because I didn't actually want to eat them because of the calories but I drank like 235 liquid calories. (Like? More like exactly.)
And tomorrow my boyfriends grandma is bringing us to an Italian resturant. The owner knows my family, and even though I haven't seen her in years, she knows *exactly* what I look like *because my fucking brother works there*. Everyone's going to be eating pasta while I pick at a Greek salad, and diet soda. If my brother comes out of the kitchen he's going to know *exactly* what's up. He knows how I eat. He knows that if someone else is paying I'd pick a calorie dense pasta, but I just cant.
God I want to die, it keeps getting worse and worse. I don't know what to do. I really just don't want to go because I hate eating in front of anyone who isn't strictly family, and social anxiety is a bitch. I don't want to be the ungrateful one, but fuck. Why did it have to be this week? Why did it have to be the resturant my entire family has history at? WHY DID I HAVE TO C/S THOSE FRIES? WHY DID I EVEN MAKE THEM?!
I've got so much anxiety, everyone in bfs familt AND the woman who owns the resturant are tiny petite women. Yet here I am, a fat monster, gobbling down fries without actually eating them.
What the fuck? I guess, at least I stopped crying.
[Help] Having visitors this weekend, how do I do low restriction (both eating at home and eating out) without tipping them off?
/u/starpocalypse [4'10 | justfat | UGW: 70 | 🍑: starpocalypse]
Created: Fri Sep 1 13:39:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xgx7u/having_visitors_this_weekend_how_do_i_do_low/
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So, I'm not sure what's going to happen or where we're going to go, but if I could hear some quick and dirty tips I would love you all ; _ ;
The problem is that one of the visitors coming has had a history of bulimia, so I feel rather fucked rn
[Other] had a dream about lower-calorie clif bars / is it ever possible to stop counting or noticing calories?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18 | 22F]
Created: Fri Sep 1 13:39:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xgx5c/had_a_dream_about_lowercalorie_clif_bars_is_it/
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part of my dream last night involved me being at the market, looking at the nutritional information for clif bars (i know they're almost always 250 calories so why do i always check?) and realizing that there were 106-calorie clif bars and getting so excited. then i woke up a) disappointed that 106-calorie clif bars do not, in fact, exist, and b) that i'd dreamt about calorie counting again, which for me always indicates a period of intense body-checking and obsessing about calories.
for the past few months, as i've realized how deeply disordered eating affects my life, i've considered seeking counseling for it and simultaneously wondered if it's possible to ever truly recover from an eating disorder. i can't imagine just *forgetting* the caloric content of bananas or rice or buying food from the market without inherently glancing at the nutritional information. i mean, i literally know the amount of calories in nearly every common staple food or can estimate pretty closely. i guess it takes time to teach yourself not to calorie-check but part of me finds it hard to believe that someone could ever become unaware of it. idk, it's sort of shitty to realize that we know soooo much about calories and how much you need to eat at a certain weight to lose weight, and how deeply many of us have normalized eating less than 1,000 calories per day (which, as i've found, is shocking to many people LOL). maybe i'll bring it up if i talk to a counselor about disordered eating, sounds pretty worthwhile.
Instant coffee?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 1 12:55:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xgmxi/instant_coffee/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I'm really going to need people to start noticing.
/u/RosenWeiss9 [5'3.5" | 113.8 | 20.31 | -13.7 | 25F]
Created: Fri Sep 1 12:03:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xgam8/im_really_going_to_need_people_to_start_noticing/
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I've lost over 10% of my body weight in 3 months and like only one person has noticed? My goals keep slipping down, at first it was 118 now its 109 and that's only 4 lb away and now I don't even know what my goal is? But I definitely want people to say I look skinny. Also I have a really one track mind and competitive personality so I'm not going to be happy unless I'm exceptional in some way. Idk.
[Discussion] Hey guys, just need to talk ☺️
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Fri Sep 1 11:35:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xg3vr/hey_guys_just_need_to_talk/
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Sorry don't know what to flair, just kinda needed to write some things down.
I have been eating "normal" 2 meals for the past 3 days and I actually feel smaller, weird, not stepping on scale though!!!! I've been kinda manic and feel top of the 🌎!
I also felt like I should eat well for a few days since I'm getting a tattoo tomorrow ( had the appointment for a while, not impulsive) and nearly passed out a few days ago. Also I'm weird but yay to self harm that becomes a beautiful work of art!!!!!!
I start my job back up September 5th (teacher) and am wonderful at restricting during the year.
My Goal
100lbs by October 5th
95 by Halloween 👻
What do you all use as motivation to restrict?
I need this to happen!
I'm cold all the time.
/u/tinydancer2525
Created: Fri Sep 1 11:33:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xg3gt/im_cold_all_the_time/
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[removed]
[Help] I'm cold again
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 1 11:29:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xg2dx/im_cold_again/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I swear my scale is lying to me
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 1 11:25:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xg1g3/i_swear_my_scale_is_lying_to_me/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] I just binged on two jars of gummi vitamins
/u/FavorSlave- [5"8 | BMI 18.4 | F19]
Created: Fri Sep 1 11:15:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xfz4s/i_just_binged_on_two_jars_of_gummi_vitamins/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Another way to track progress?
/u/Nicole744
Created: Fri Sep 1 11:09:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xfxj7/another_way_to_track_progress/
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I can't take my kids swimming this week and realise that means that I can't weigh myself!
It's really stressing me. I need to know that this is making a difference. I've tried measuring my hips and stomach, the areas that bother me most but there is like 3cm of fluctuation just now and it's just stressing me more. I know he's just trying to look out for me and stop me obsessing too much since he thinks I'm eating properly again but why cant I just have a scale ? It would make me so much calmer! 🙁
I've even considered getting one and hiding it in my loft since he never really goes up the and if he ever finds it I could just say the last people must have left it but I don't know if he checked over it all before putting my stuff up so I don't want to risk it and there is no where else in my house I can hide it. It's freaking me out I need to check my weight! Is there any other options than a big obvious scale or measuring? 😞
[Other] I wish, Reddit.... I wish...
/u/Raining-Lemons [5"2 | CW 111.8 | GW 100 | UGW 95 | 26F | 🍑 RainingLemons]
Created: Fri Sep 1 11:00:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xfv77/i_wish_reddit_i_wish/
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http://imgur.com/a/LUuMv
[Rant/Rave] restricting is SO relaxing
/u/7376549
Created: Fri Sep 1 10:35:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xfp2v/restricting_is_so_relaxing/
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(sorry, wasn't sure which flair to use, hope this one's ok)
restricting chills me out so much, guys. fuck. my friend recently moved in with me to help with the rent and i'm having a really, really rough time of it (& it's only been a week lol) because i'm hardcore introverted, i loved living alone, not being able to come back to my nice empty flat has been really stressing me out SO badly.
so i've gotten back into restricting, because it seems to be the only thing that calms me down. i can't s/h because i have surgery coming up & i don't want my doctor to see it, i'm too broke to drink as regularly as i'd need to for it to relax me, i'm too anxiety™ to go to the gym to work out... but restricting. restricting is always there for me. even when my roommate is blasting music or leaving clothes everywhere or bringing guys home or leaving me to do the dishes for the 100th time (seriously, she's been here a week & washed up once LMAO) -- having an empty stomach and a restriction-headache just makes me feel so much better. so much at peace.
as long as i feel empty.. as long as i know i'm losing.. it doesn't matter. i can be calm. taking deep breaths and focusing on the dizziness, the gnawing in my stomach, the shake in my fingers.. there's nothing like it.
(and this is quietly hilarious to me cus i know soon enough i'll be back so stressing the fuck out over restricting too, because it's inevitable with this shit, but hey!! may as well enjoy it while it lasts right!! 🤷🏻♂️)
[Goal] NSV
/u/tattoosandcoffeee [5'3.75 | GW 108 | -12]
Created: Fri Sep 1 10:23:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xfmd2/nsv/
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Im just very happy today and have to share my excitement. I received a new, higher dosage for my vyvance script. Fasted all day yesterday b/c I was excited to go to a football game and have a beer and some nachos..took said pill before game..COULD NOT EAT eat a single thing. So I haven't eaten since Wednesday late afternoon (42hrs ish) & I stepped on the scale and finally had a whoosh of sorts and dropped 3lbs!! HAPPY FRIDAY LOVES..KEEP PUSHING ON<3
[Rant/Rave] Hit my UGW this morning
/u/babylemonadexx [5'7 👶🏼 100lbs 🍋]
Created: Fri Sep 1 10:16:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xfkri/hit_my_ugw_this_morning/
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...and i actually feel pretty good about it? like, i think subconsciously i was always expecting to want to drop more once i reached 100, but for whatever reason this number feels just right. for the first time ever, i actually feel happy and confident about maintaining :)
bit of a pointless post i guess, but just wanted to share my lil bit of joy - i never thought i'd get here (much less that i'd be satisfied when i did!) - but if my messed-up brain can find some peace, there's no reason yours can't either x
[Help] Joint pain and extreme fatigue
/u/sp_600 [5'7🌻107🌻16.8🌻20f]
Created: Fri Sep 1 09:23:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xf7z2/joint_pain_and_extreme_fatigue/
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Hey!
So i have been restricting super heavily for the past few months and it has made me groggy, as can be expected.
However, ever since i dropped below 112 or so, I have been so tired, I spend most of my day in bed. On top of this, my joints ache- especially my knees. Walking around the neighborhood is really hard and my life is generally fucked because i am too tired to get shit done.
I know the simplest answer is "eat more!" But barring that is there anything I can do to make myself more comfortable until I am ready for recovery?
[Rant/Rave] Rockstar partnered with my favorite video game and I am so happy!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 1 09:22:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xf7l0/rockstar_partnered_with_my_favorite_video_game/
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[deleted]
[Intro] Intro and questions
/u/allthetinysquiggles [5'2" | CW: 161.8 | GW:118 | -4 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 1 09:18:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xf6sk/intro_and_questions/
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Hey everyone, I'm Squiggles 🤗 I'm finally working up the courage here to post and introduce myself :) I've been lurking for a while and y'all are just the most kind and genuine and thoughtful people ever and I actually don't feel too anxious posting.
The tl;dr of why I'm here is I gained 40 lbs within a year due to a combo of an incredibly abusive boss, an ex that broke up with me via text (2 year relationship), being fired, and all sorts of other lovely baggage (childhood abuse and such). I also have chronic backpain and a permanently fucked up spine 😀 So here I am, controlling literally the only thing I have left within my control: what I eat and look like. At least I'm trying to control it anyways
I just had a couple questions: so I've been drinking water by the absolutely gallonfull, but I don't wanna knock my electrolytes outta whack and die (at least not yet 🙄) so I put the mio electrolytes stuff in it. I prolly go through 1/2-1 bottle of mio a day. Anyone know if it's gonna give me cancer or something, or if even drinking too much electrolyted water is gonna do me in?
Also how do y'all handle vacations!?!? My family and I are on our way to the beach and ohmyfuckinggod just thinking about what it's gonna do to the scale even if I'm careful has me all panicked. I'm simultaneously excited because I fuckin LOVE the beach, and also terrified of it now xP Even better, my little sister is coming and her sorority's philanthropy is an eating disorder organization and she just received a shit ton of training on what to look for if she suspects someone has an ED. Greeeaaaattttt. My C/S habit is gonna have to chill the hell out for the weekend...somehow
[Rant/Rave] I LOVE FALL SO SO SO MUCH
/u/diedawhileago [5'5 1/2 | 108.8 | 17.8 | -121.2 lbs! | 17f]
Created: Fri Sep 1 09:06:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xf3vq/i_love_fall_so_so_so_much/
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It's basically Fall now. Screw Sept 21st or whenever the official start date is, Fall is September-November, thank you very much.
So today it is Fall, and I am **happy.** I don't care that the scale kept bouncing between 108.6 and 109.4 this morning, I don't care about school stress or what I'm wearing or what my thighs look like, because the weather is cool, the leaves are changing, and Fall makes me **happy.** I'm freezing my ass off and I love it. I can't wait for Autumn festivals, camping trips, hay rides, pumpkins, Halloween, all of it. I want to do it all this year. I am aggressively excited and I will force my sorry ass to have fun because I don't want to miss a single second.
I'm SO TIRED of my mental illnesses ruining every shred of happiness in my life, I won't let them keep me locked up in my room for the next three months. I don't care if I'm horribly uncomfortable the entire time, I'm gonna put on my Halloween sweater and suck it up because I refuse to miss out on my favorite season. AGAIN. I've missed too many Thanksgivings, too many Christmases, too many special moments with my family. I am NOT missing this one. I want a pumpkin spice latte and idgaf if it makes me cry afterwards, I'm drinking the goddamn latte this year.
I hope you all have an amazing month, you deserve all the happiness in the world. And I'm sorry this is so rambly, I just really, really love Fall. A lot.
[Goal] Halfway to my goal weight.
/u/kzxwy [5' 6" | CW: 130.0 | HW: 145.0 | GW: 115.0 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 1 08:40:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xey22/halfway_to_my_goal_weight/
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Hit 130 today. Well, 129.4 to be exact. (5'6"). My first post here a few months ago I was at 145 after years of "recovery" and feeling like a fat miserable fuck.
Crazy to see myself back in the 120s. Unfortunately, some of it is probably just do to dehydration; I spent all day yesterday in bed vomiting. That's what I get for drinking wayyy too much vodka on an empty stomach after a fight with a friend. I might avoid the scale for a couple days so I'm not demotivated when/if it jumps back up a bit.
15 more lbs to go, then I plan on working on maintaining 115 (might try 1400 cals and see how that works) and toning up a bit.
Feeling good today. This is a bit of a rambly post but I have no friends to talk to IRL.
Anyways, trust the process friends. Even if progress gets slow. Don't give up on life. And stay safe
[Rant/Rave] What am I doing to myself? 😂 (TMI?)
/u/nicfrae [5'7 | BMI 20.0 | GW<115lbs | UGW 98lbs | -77lbs | F 24]
Created: Fri Sep 1 08:16:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xesqe/what_am_i_doing_to_myself_tmi/
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So I took laxatives last night cause I wanted a good 1st of the month weigh in (it worked - 7.5 lbs lost for August!) and they kicked in about 3am.
Well guys, I shat myself unconscious. 10 minutes after blacking out I regained consciousness sitting on the toilet and just had to start laughing.
I think I was probably dehydrated and it just sent me over the edge but wow, I'm a mess!
That drop on the scale though, am I right?
[Other] What do you want to be when you grow up? Or if you're already grown up, what are you doing and are you happy?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 113.6 | UGW: 102lbs | Peach: LobsterMacNCheese]
Created: Fri Sep 1 08:07:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xeqt1/what_do_you_want_to_be_when_you_grow_up_or_if/
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[Rant/Rave] My BF's sister is coming over for the weekend and I am freaking out.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 1 08:03:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xepzl/my_bfs_sister_is_coming_over_for_the_weekend_and/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] A tender moment with my boyfriend
/u/EmpireStateBitch [5'4" | GW 115 | UGW 100 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 1 07:59:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xep3a/a_tender_moment_with_my_boyfriend/
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I woke up this morning as my boyfriend was coming back from getting food for us for breakfast, and I told him I'm not feeling well ("I think I'm getting sick") and am not hungry. I've been doing pretty well and wanted to keep up my progress. He sat down on the bed next to me and said, "How about if I set up the food, and you look at what I got us. Then if you're still not hungry, I won't force you to eat; that's your decision. Deal?" "Deal." I'm thinking there's no way in hell I'm eating today. Or, maybe I just take a few bites and stick to my "I'm sick" story. So he sets up all our our food, and he brings it to me in bed and I see he's gotten all my favorite things set up for me, and he's even got a Coke Zero too. He sits down next to me to eat, and just something about the way he spoke to me and the sweetness of the whole gesture made me scoot over and eat too. I wasn't even hungry; if I were alone it would have been an incredibly easy day to fast. He said it's his job to feed me and take care of me like a little baby bird. This guy just makes my heart melt, and I don't even feel guilty for eating.
[Rant/Rave] I just want a fucking latte
/u/50shadesofskinny [5'4 | 135lbs | -50lbs | 23F]
Created: Fri Sep 1 07:44:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xelyz/i_just_want_a_fucking_latte/
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I've been restricting this week and I promised myself I could get a latte at the end of the week if I was at my lowest weight for the week in the morning. Since I weighed in at a new low weight this morning, it was supposed to be latte time.
I got to Starbucks before my therapy appointment fully ready to order myself a grande skinny vanilla latte, one of my favorites and so creamy and warm and makes me feel full for hours. It tastes like the feeling of sleeping in on a rainy Sunday to me. I was so excited.
When it was time to order I almost started crying thinking about how I couldn't handle the calories because if I have them now, I'll just weigh more tomorrow. I ordered an Americano, black, and I guess I'll just fast today because I hate myself and the world and how much food (and stupid lattes) control my emotions. Also this americano tastes like a sad morning on the way to school to take a test, NOT a sleepy Sunday morning at home. BOO.
[Discussion] September 1st, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 1 07:25:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xei0g/september_1st_2017_question_of_the_day/
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Happy September everybody! Personally, I'm using the new month as a refresh to try to reach my goals again.
Teacher or student?
(Yet again, ???)
[Discussion] DAE compare themselves to girls on NSFW subs?
/u/sororityengineering [5'6" | GW: deadly]
Created: Fri Sep 1 07:09:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xees5/dae_compare_themselves_to_girls_on_nsfw_subs/
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I started posting literally on a whim, and to see if I would fit in the GoneWild community. I think my ego shot at like 300% because my first post was gilded gold and now looking back, I should of just stop posting then.
I try to not look at them, but it's hard, esp like r/realgirls and the like. It's hard not to compare.... sometimes I feel like I belong on r/gonewildcurvy or r/gonewildplus or something looking at those girls :(
[Discussion] Nauseous while fasting/low restricting
/u/skinnifat [5'4" | CW: 125 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 1 07:07:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xee9b/nauseous_while_fastinglow_restricting/
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[removed]
[Discussion] I gained 5lbs last month, here's how I'll lose it
/u/Brickly2017 [5'7" | 115 and staying | BMI 18 | -17 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 1 06:41:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xe9dd/i_gained_5lbs_last_month_heres_how_ill_lose_it/
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[removed]
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! September 01, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Sep 1 06:14:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xe4j3/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread/
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This is the weekly picture thread for September 01, 2017.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! September 01, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Sep 1 06:14:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xe4i6/daily_food_diary_september_01_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 01, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Help] Do any of you lift weights / how to look my weight?!
/u/thinismygame [5'6.5" | 134 | F | 22]
Created: Fri Sep 1 05:42:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xdzfz/do_any_of_you_lift_weights_how_to_look_my_weight/
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So I'm back down to 134 (after a gr8 binge month) but I just don't look it. I see people my height & they claim the same weight but somehow look sooo much smaller than me! [Even on my body gallery website!!!] I don't know if it's dysmorphia or what. I am still smack in the middle of the healthy weight for my height, but just can't seem to actually get smaller. I still want to get down to at least 120 (UGW lower if I can ever get there lol) but I feel so...large still. I eat 800 cals a day because I'm in law school & I need to still somewhat focus, so I was thinking of lifting to lean out? Any of you have experience / advice?!
I think my problem is that I have very little muscle. I walk 10k steps a day and that's a struggle. I have to do it in the morning before school because I'm either in class or studying aka sitting on my ass for 8-9 hours minimum a day. I don't know if lifting will help sooo any advice is much appreciated!
Recovery Questions
/u/kaylastiel [5'6 | CW: 140 | BMI: 22.6 | -40lbs | F]
Created: Fri Sep 1 05:14:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xdv46/recovery_questions/
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[removed]
[Help] I feel awful and need to get back on track
/u/almondthief
Created: Fri Sep 1 04:51:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xdrgt/i_feel_awful_and_need_to_get_back_on_track/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Found a great iOS app for fasting!
/u/lightfeathers [5'4" | CW 112 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 1 03:44:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xdi53/found_a_great_ios_app_for_fasting/
---
Here's a direct link to it :)
https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/zero-fasting-tracker/id1168348542?mt=8
Found someone using it on the fasting subreddit
[Rant/Rave] Found a great iOS app for fasting!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 1 03:41:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xdhtv/found_a_great_ios_app_for_fasting/
---
https://itunes.apple.com/app/zero-fasting-tracker/id1168348542?mt=8
[Other] TIL there is an actual medical device that allows you to drain part of the food you ate right from your stomach
/u/OneCanNeverBeTooThin [F | 5'5" | HW: 216 | LW: 119| CW: 123 | GW: 100]
Created: Fri Sep 1 02:50:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xdazg/til_there_is_an_actual_medical_device_that_allows/
---
http://www.health.com/weight-loss/aspireassist-obesity-device
[Rant/Rave] I binged so hard this August I went from 54 kg to 61 kg.
/u/hypernovae1511
Created: Fri Sep 1 02:44:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xdacf/i_binged_so_hard_this_august_i_went_from_54_kg_to/
---
I can't express how fucking disgusting I feel. I was so happy at 54 kg and like ALWAYS I have to fuck everything up. August was such a mess. And in two weeks I start university, I could have started being a thin pretty girl but NOOOOO the fat fuck shows up again. I am even ashamed of people looking at me like "wasn't she thinner like literally less than one month ago?" Uh yeah but only me can gain such amount of weight in so little time. Like I said, disgusting.
Edit: I just hope that at least 1 kg of it it's water weight or just food inside, so I can be at least at 57 kg when university starts and not feel like a walking whale. I promised myself that I would never see the 60 number on the scale again. Can't even keep my own promises.
[Rant/Rave] I'm currently in my school's bathroom eating cookies and crying
/u/carlems [5'1| CW: 102,2 | GW: 94 | -18]
Created: Fri Sep 1 02:23:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xd7p6/im_currently_in_my_schools_bathroom_eating/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] DAE Thow Away Food to Pretend You Ate
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 1 01:30:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xd18m/dae_thow_away_food_to_pretend_you_ate/
---
[deleted]
[Other] Almost told someone
/u/janesavage [170 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 18F ]
Created: Fri Sep 1 01:20:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xd006/almost_told_someone/
---
So I've got this friend, A, and we've known each other for a little over a year now. We live several hours apart, so we usually keep in contact through IMs.
During the year, we didn't talk *a lot*, per se, but we kept in contact and definitely maintained a friendship. But now, A has moved to Germany for the same reason as I did, though we're still hours apart.
And we have been talking. So. Much.
I mean an hour, two hours a day. I understand that the move is stressful and we can relate to each on a lot of things now, but it's just such a huge change. We stay up late talking about literally anything and everything, and I feel like we've gotten rather close.
Which brings me to the other night.
We were talking, and I brought up my derealisation in a joking manner, and A got interested. I wasn't offended; I don't usually get an opportunity to talk about it and I personally think it's a very interesting topic (if you like the sound of suddenly feeling like you're in a dream for no obvious reason).
So we talked about that for a while, and it was nice to really think about it and open up a little. We found more things we related on. It felt good.
A asked if I had looked into any kind of family history about DD, and I said I hadn't, because it never seemed important enough to bring up with my parents. Then I thought about EDs, and how they can be hereditary, too.
I typed in, "Well, I've never bothered asking my mum about a history of anorexia either so".
My thumb hovered over Send.
I deleted it.
I was so close. So close to confiding in someone again. But I don't want to push A away, even though the logical part of me says if A is truly a friend, this shouldn't change anything.
It doesn't help that I already mentioned my ED to a different friend, who said it made me "privileged". The tones of these two relationships are different, of course, and the tones of the conversations were also wildly different, but it still bothered me.
I just feel like this is something that can wait, something that needs to wait. I don't have a habit of unloading my problems onto other people, admittedly even when I ought to, and throwing an ED on top of all the heavy stuff we were talking about sounded like overkill.
Maybe later. Maybe if we meet up some day. I feel like this kind of thing is something that needs to be said in person, where your A needs to see your face, hear your voice, be physically there for you. I know that's just my opinion, and maybe the "privileged" response has put me on my guard, but I think it's easier to read the tone of the conversation and convey the seriousness of the topic when you're speaking in person.
Anyway, thanks for letting me get this out. I hate how I can't speak to anyone about these kinds of things except kind Internet strangers, but you've all heard that before. I really appreciate this community from the bottom of my little wizened black heart.
[Discussion] Non-ED, drive-by commenters
/u/stoniepop [5'1.5 | CW 121 | GW 105]
Created: Fri Sep 1 00:30:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xct45/noned_driveby_commenters/
---
How do they find us, and why do they condescend/bother/straight up harass the people here? With comments no one asked for, and pms and such. I've lurked on this sub for a long time before joining and noticed it's been a 'thing'.
Also hi, I'm stoniepop. Lurked for a worryingly long time on another(deleted) account, joined because I'm finally being honest with myself that I have a huge fuckin binge eating/restricting problem. I have no idea what to flair this. Discussion? I apologize if that's not right. Also that this post is a mess.
[Discussion] Today I realized my cat eats more calories than I do
/u/tresliz [5"7 | [redacted] | [redacted] | ~30 lost | F]
Created: Fri Sep 1 00:04:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xcpfb/today_i_realized_my_cat_eats_more_calories_than_i/
---
Half the days this week I've been fasting or seriously restricting. Today I realized that two cans of wet food is 200 some calories plus her free fed dry food... she's old, so I let her eat as much as she wants, which seems to be more than my 100 cal limit for some days.
[Discussion] ProED weight-loss app?
/u/_dissonant_
Created: Thu Aug 31 22:34:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xcbbz/proed_weightloss_app/
---
I seem to remember someone talking about making an ED friendly weight loss app, with thinspo and using that weight prediction feature that myfitnesspal got rid of. Did anything ever come of that? If not, does anyone recommend any particular app?
[Discussion] DAE feel like being skinny is the only thing they care about anymore when it comes to appearance?
/u/sosecretaccount [5'6 | CW:130 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 31 21:16:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xbxoz/dae_feel_like_being_skinny_is_the_only_thing_they/
---
The only thing I'm starting to care about when it comes to my looks is being thinner. I don't wear make up anymore, dress nice, bother to do my hair, or anything anymore! I used to put a real effort into the way I looked. I used to have rules like "no leaving the house with sweats on" but now I simply don't have the energy to care about those qualities anymore and I only care about being skinny. Anyone else?
[Rant/Rave] when you spend $70 on food...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 31 21:01:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xbuvq/when_you_spend_70_on_food/
---
[deleted]
How to fast easily:
/u/-M00nFlower
Created: Thu Aug 31 21:00:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xbup4/how_to_fast_easily/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Anxiety
/u/AnaTroi
Created: Thu Aug 31 19:06:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xb8m5/anxiety/
---
So I've never been officially diagnosed with anxiety, but the last few years of my life have been off-the-charts stressful for me. I'm always happiest when I feel in control and I've felt in control of hardly anything. I've been easily stressed out, sick to my stomach, suffering insomnia. Just generally feeling pretty anxious.
I have pretty much always restricted in an extreme way. I was always really thin. But about six years ago I sought help and went into recovery. Did okay for a while, but after an auto accident that messed up my hip and derailed my exercise regimen, I started rewarding myself with food. Great relationship I have with food, eh?
A few weeks ago I saw some pictures of how huge I am now and slipped back into my old ways of heavily restricting. The weird part is I've basically eliminated my anxiety by doing this. I know it's not healthy. I know the "right" way to lose weight, but this is where I am right now. I'm so much happier when I feel in control.
Anyone else relate to this?
[Rant/Rave] Oh and don't post of baby bump with your ed account
/u/blackswanrises
Created: Thu Aug 31 18:40:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xb3cm/oh_and_dont_post_of_baby_bump_with_your_ed_account/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Going to the gym twice a day
/u/blackswanrises
Created: Thu Aug 31 18:38:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xb31b/going_to_the_gym_twice_a_day/
---
I've been going to the gym once or twice a day depending on if I can get myself out of bed early lol. I saw a co-worker at the gym and I was excited bc I really like her (I would totally be a workout buddy with her). Anyways she told everyone at work she saw me at the gym and they were all like "uhhh why she's small enough." Tonight another co-worker came in and said "the gig is up I know you're smaller bc you go to the gym."
Wtf? lol I'm a NORMAL weight for my height. I'm working on losing 15 pounds and toning up. Why is it a big deal if I go to the gym? So strange. The gym is for everyone. And just bc I'm 'smaller' doesn't mean I don't workout hard.
I personally do not want to be apart of the obesity epidemic in the lab I work in. I swear both our managers combined weigh 650 pounds 🙄
[Rant/Rave] I spiraled so quickly.
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 96ishlbs]
Created: Thu Aug 31 18:03:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xavjb/i_spiraled_so_quickly/
---
I've been restricting to anywhere from 200 cals to 700 cals a day for the past week and a half. Before that, I was under 1200 every day. If anyone offers me food, I turn it down.
I thought I had control over this, but I don't. I've never restricted this intensely without having a binge day or without bingeing in general. I dropped weight in the past month that I never thought I'd lose again. I'm at college so I don't have a scale, but I think I'm somewhere around 95/96 lbs now.
I don't necessarily want to be relapsing, but it's not even my choice. I feel like I have to. Other times, I've just wanted to, but now it's not a decision. I just can't eat. If I do eat, it's a failure.
My boyfriend wants me to see a doctor and I think I should too because I feel as if I'm on the edge of fainting all of the time. I can't cross my legs for too long because they get pins and needles.
I'm so sick of having an eating disorder but I also feel like I don't want to get better yet. I feel like I have to get sicker because otherwise all of this would've been for nothing anyways.
Idk, just needed to vent somewhere. If you got this far, thanks for reading.
[Discussion] Is 100% full recovery even possible?
/u/EasyPineapples [5'4 // CW 122 lbs // F]
Created: Thu Aug 31 18:02:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xavgc/is_100_full_recovery_even_possible/
---
Through my three years so far of "recovery" and receiving help, I haven't found one person who I thought was really, actually, fully recovered... I was also at a point in my life once where I thought I was recovered completely, but one little tip over the edge, and I'm back into a full blown eating disorder, after doing so well. Is it even worth it to try anymore, or should I just accept that I'm fucked. It's too hard. I don't even want to try anymore. Does anyone here know anyone who's fully recovered or is fully recovered, meaning, without going through any thoughts of ed behavior?
[Help] Can bloating/water retention result in weight gain on the scale?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 31 17:59:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xauu3/can_bloatingwater_retention_result_in_weight_gain/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] i've eaten 100% too much today and it's only 5 p.m.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 31 17:58:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xaun8/ive_eaten_100_too_much_today_and_its_only_5_pm/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I was waiting to ask out my crush for TWO YEARS until I got to a certain goal weight...
/u/fruitlops [5'4 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 31 17:38:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xaqoa/i_was_waiting_to_ask_out_my_crush_for_two_years/
---
[removed]
[Other] Today, I noticed that I sing this to myself sometimes whenever I avoid a binge (no need to watch the whole video; I could only find a repeating version)
/u/moon-lady [🎮🍓 5'0" | CW: 115.8lbs | BMI: 22.6 | -34.2lbs | 22F]
Created: Thu Aug 31 17:27:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xaogm/today_i_noticed_that_i_sing_this_to_myself/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A64fEgUSGEg
[Rant/Rave] Made my day
/u/Polarplaid
Created: Thu Aug 31 17:19:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xamr4/made_my_day/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Feeling horrible and disappointed
/u/sillybamboo [5'3'' | CW129 | GW125 | BMI 22.9 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 31 17:00:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xairk/feeling_horrible_and_disappointed/
---
After several months of not b/p-ing, I've relapsed. I binged last night then threw up, telling myself that it'd just be this once to make my stomach feel less stretched. Today, I just did it again. I probably binged on 3k calories worth of food. I didn't even purge it all because I forced myself to stop mid-purge.
I was doing so well and then my period came, which ALWAYS makes me extra hungry.
I just want tomorrow to be a good day dudes :(
[Rant/Rave] I had to cut a new hole in my belt today
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 115.8 | GW: 110 | M/15]
Created: Thu Aug 31 15:59:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xa58x/i_had_to_cut_a_new_hole_in_my_belt_today/
---
Today I tried to wear my belt (because my pants are too big, which is also great) and I had to cut a new hole in it with my knife to make it fit around my waist. I felt really good the rest of the day
[Tip] Frozen watermelon
/u/elliotte-mckinnon [23F |5'6|CW:160|BMI 25|GW: 135|UGW: 110|-205lbs]
Created: Thu Aug 31 15:44:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6xa1t0/frozen_watermelon/
---
Before it all goes out of season I'm buying as many mini watermelons as I can, cutting them, and sticking them in the freezer. Seriously, guys, it's better than any commercial slush around. 130 calories for half a melon, that's 3 cups of melon, more than I could eat in a sitting. And it takes so long to eat, hacking at it with a spoon, it's wonderful. So good.
[Rant/Rave] I fooled myself into believing I could be carefree for 2 whole weeks.
/u/timetofadeaway [5'2 | CW scaredlikeamouse | LW 91 | GW1 110 | UGW 90 | F21]
Created: Thu Aug 31 14:33:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x9kpz/i_fooled_myself_into_believing_i_could_be/
---
Hey guys, for the last 2 weeks I kind of threw my routine out of the window (without really realizing until afterwards) and had a carefree and 'normal' episode. On the outside I was just doing exactly what I usually do. On the inside I was in a dream. Now I realize it was a nightmare.
These are some significant 'carefree' things I did:
* Ate chicken from a restaurant and didn't know what the calories were.
* Exercised every day because I wanted to be stronger, not because I wanted to have less fat.
* Ate in-front of people I didn't know and pretended they weren't staring at me and judging every morsel of fat I was adding to my body.
* Went to sleep at 1AM instead of 3AM spending extra hours adding to my step count.
* Didn't log into MFP for one day.
* Bought and ate nut butter (nut butter) (NUT BUTTER)
* Bought said nut butter, ate it sensibly instead of eating it in one go and berating myself with a water fast afterwards.
* Didn't hurt myself physically.
* Met up with a friend and socialized without fear of them judging my body.
This stopped yesterday. Unfortunately, I woke up.
I wish I could have lived in that dream forever but I can't. That was a vacation, a luxurious, selfish vacation. I want to hurt myself but I know that the next few months are going to be pain enough. I don't know how I got into that place, I don't know how I snapped out of it.
I wish I had never been there, it was a horrible dream state and now I have to mentally pay for what I did.
How can I lose weight with bulimia?
/u/_PM_ME_YOUR_HEART_
Created: Thu Aug 31 14:33:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x9ko1/how_can_i_lose_weight_with_bulimia/
---
[removed]
[Tip] The Ultimate Goal Setting Structure, backed by proven studies and research - ProED edition
/u/sororityengineering [5'6" | GW: deadly]
Created: Thu Aug 31 13:48:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x99wa/the_ultimate_goal_setting_structure_backed_by/
---
For those who are planning for the new month, my friend introduced me to [WOOP](http://woopmylife.org/woop-1) Goal Setting and here's sorta of my delusional and vain plan for next month :)
Wish: I want to be perfect and skinny and be able to drink coffee on my balcony at my new place in only a shirt and panties and maybe that grad student will finally just ask me out already and all the new girls rushing my sorority will think I'm the cuter, smarter Asian girl (there's like 3 of us in a sea of white girls) and be that girl that guys look at in lecture hall lol
Outcome: I won't be a whale.
Obstacle: I get hungry and eat food.
Plan: When I am hungry, then I will write in my journal, run outside, look at all the lingerie I could wear in front of that grad student, remind myself that I am a failure in aspect in my life, all while chugging a liter of diet Coke and pickle juice.
~ * ~ * ~ A Work in Progress ~ * ~ * ~
[Discussion] Do you feel like your life is on hold until you're at your GW?
/u/borderhopping
Created: Thu Aug 31 13:46:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x99dk/do_you_feel_like_your_life_is_on_hold_until_youre/
---
I often find myself thinking "oh I want to do that, but not until I'm small." Like music festivals, cross country trips, fitness classes (this one doesn't even make sense). How about you guys? What are some things you're saving?
[Rant/Rave] For the first time in ever, I have officially hit "underweight" <3
/u/Lady_Anarchy [169cm | CW: 52kg | 18.21 | GW: 50kg | F ]
Created: Thu Aug 31 13:38:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x975w/for_the_first_time_in_ever_i_have_officially_hit/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I just had to console a perfectly thin person about their body issues. It was really hard and I kind of want to seriously hurt myself right now
/u/OneCanNeverBeTooThin [F | 5'5" | HW: 216 | LW: 119| CW: 123 | GW: 100]
Created: Thu Aug 31 13:14:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x91c0/i_just_had_to_console_a_perfectly_thin_person/
---
**A buttload of selfishness ahead, be warned**
The person in question is genderfluid and they wish they were more feminine (when they already are, people often don't know what gender to assume). They are also tall, perfectly thin and beautiful.
I know I'm being incredibly selfish and I know this has nothing to do with me. But all I can think about is if that person's body isn't good enough then I might as well just throw my own into the garbage can and become some kind of fucking ghost.
They want to be even more feminine. Well, I want to not have loose skin, stretch marks and scars. I want my breasts to not be tubular. I want to not be shapeless, fat and disgusting. I want to be able to get naked and not feel shame every once in a while. I want someone, anyone to consider me physically attractive.
I feel so hideous right now. I seriously wish I could rip my flesh off my bones. Or just plain hurt myself in some way. The only thing that's stopping me from it is that I already have enough scars on my body and I'm repulsed by them as well.
[Rant/Rave] Facing challenges
/u/elliotte-mckinnon [23F |5'6|CW:160|BMI 25|GW: 135|UGW: 110|-205lbs]
Created: Thu Aug 31 13:14:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x915r/facing_challenges/
---
So I recently had surgery (long ED related story for later) and haven't had the opportunity to get out of the house as of late. It's been a few weeks now, so I should be getting out more, but have been isolating and falling farther behind with ED stuff. My boyfriend and his wonderful roommate suggested we all go to the drive-in tomorrow with roommates boyfriend as a double date. Awesome! I love his roommate, she's absolutely amazing. I lived with them for about a year before getting my own place so we're all pretty close. Everyone is being so supportive with helping me be social, boyfriend even said he'd come to my house first so I wouldn't make an excuse to not go (oh he knows me so well.) I am a little anxious about food stuff, I worry they'll want to stop at Taco Bell or something else stupid and I'll panic, but there's not much I can do about that. I talked to my boyfriend about bringing an appropriate snack with me just in case so I don't get stuck eating something horrible. That's not really what I'm worried about though.
Some background on boyfriends roommate. She is a pretty well-known dancer here in the community, she's seriously talented, amazing and beautiful and has been involved with her troupe for over 10 years. She has a seriously perfect body, tiny little stomach, gorgeous ass, the whole deal. She does work a busy job that keeps her active, and she goes to dance rehearsal 2-3 times a week with shows about 1 to 2 weekends a month. So she's pretty active. But she eats like shit. Well, not like shit but not what you'd think for someone with that physic. Like I said, we lived together for almost a year. The girl can put more sugar away than I would dare to consume in a week. And don't even get me started on the carbs holy shit. She doesn't even seem to think about it. But, I mean, she doesn't have to, she's gorgeous. When I was at my lowest weight, I was getting lots of her hand-me downs and that felt awesome. Now I'm probably 30-40 pounds heavier than her. I could be overestimating, I have a habit of doing that, I have no idea what I weigh right now. But still, it sucks. I mean we're not the same height at all (I'm probably at least 3'' taller than her) but still. She'd never make any comments to me about it, she knows full well about my ED and everything but it's hard not to notice. Idk.
I know we're going to their house before the movies and there is a scale in the bathroom. Like I said in a previous post, I smashed my personal scale, so I have no idea where I'm sitting rn. I've been restricting again for awhile and notice a difference in my clothes and the way my body looks (vigorously body checking) but sometimes I think that's just my brain being hopeful. I get paid on Sunday anyway so I was planning on ordering a scale on Amazon again, but I know I'm going to weigh myself tomorrow when I'm there. I won't be able to help it. I am so so scared so nervous so excited.
I called my therapist to talk to her about the whole situation. It's fucked that I'm looking forward to weighing myself more than going to the movies with my friends and boyfriend. She basically told me to resist the temptation of weighing myself and maybe ask my boyfriend to take the scale out of the bathroom. Yeah, I know that's what I should do. But I can't. I have to know. Then when my scale comes next week, I'll have something to compare it to. I can't make weight goals without knowing my weight. I want to be at my goal by my birthday. I didn't say any of that though. I was just like I'm probably going to weigh myself. And she's like well then we'll spend our next session talking about that. UGH. Then she asked if I had still been trying to do 1200 a day, which I haven't, I went lower. The last two days have been under 1000, without consciousness. I admitted it. Not like that was really a goal I had in mind but here we are. I know today will be under 1000 as well. Eh what can I do really?
She sounded a little concerned and kind of like she knows how bad things are getting but doesn't know how to help. Maybe I should stop being so honest and go back to not talking about it.
ugh i don't know how to feel about anything.
.
[Help] What anxiety drugs can I take and not get fat?
/u/randyguptill [5'7.5" | CW 135.4 | GW 123 | 20.48 | complicated |]
Created: Thu Aug 31 13:13:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x90wx/what_anxiety_drugs_can_i_take_and_not_get_fat/
---
I got an appointment for Tuesday. Anyone have success with not getting fat on anxiety meds? Oh, and doc is going to notice that I have lost 25 pounds since 6/12. I don't even give a shit anymore. I have to self-medicate to do anything.
[Tip] I don't see enough love for it... CABBAGE SOUP!! <3
/u/slothLarryDavid [5'2 | CW: 122 | GW: 95 | -35lbs | 25F]
Created: Thu Aug 31 12:49:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x8uzg/i_dont_see_enough_love_for_it_cabbage_soup_3/
---
okay I did a search through this sub and found very few posts even mentioning cabbage soup. guys - this stuff is a game changer and I highly recommend it. it's super easy to make. one bowl is 45 calories... but I usually eat 2 bowls in one sitting and then i'm full enough for the day. cabbage has a toooon of fiber and this soup fills you up sooo fast. I honestly hate soup and never liked cabbage but i gave this a try and i've been making it consistently every sunday for like the year since i first tried it. i make it and then put it in a thermos and leave it in the fridge at work for whenever i'm hungry. i'll put my recipe in the comments if anyone wants it! :) hope this helps someone, i have bad binge cravings often and this is the only thing that has consistently helped me. sometimes when i'm eating it i just imagine it's pizza and it kinda works.
[Thinspo] Lara Flynn Boyle in Twin Peaks <3
/u/allkindsofnewyou [5'2 | 95 | BMI 17 | F ]
Created: Thu Aug 31 12:41:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x8st9/lara_flynn_boyle_in_twin_peaks_3/
---
http://imgur.com/q2KeXo7
[Tip] Hydrating and electrolytes
/u/Size666 [5'8F | Walrus | -48lbs | UGW: 118lbs]
Created: Thu Aug 31 12:23:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x8npa/hydrating_and_electrolytes/
---
Not sure if this is old news or what, but I just discovered [DripDrop](https://dripdrop.com/), which is this powder you use to replenish electrolytes and rehydrate... it's kind of amazing. Fair warning it's like 32 calories for one serving, but as someone who is *constantly* going to urgent care for dehydration, finding something OTC that works as well as the IV drip is a huge victory for me. Now I need to figure out a way to actually remember to keep drinking water...
Any other tips to keep hydrated?
[Rant/Rave] I just want to enjoy autumn
/u/hopelessly--hopeful [5'4" | puts whales to shame| F| 23]
Created: Thu Aug 31 12:14:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x8lup/i_just_want_to_enjoy_autumn/
---
On mobile, flair as rant. So autumn is basically my favorite season of all time, love the colder weather and the leaves and the general atmosphere and everything about it. I did okay with the first trip of the season to the apple orchard and only ate 2 cider donuts while my friends spent at least $20 each on food. I went shopping with my best friend for two days in a row to try to find a cute flannel in my size so I could try to feel pretty like all the other girls, and I had no luck. I wanted to cry when I found a flannel in the biggest size at Target and it still didn't fit...never mind the fact that I have no job, so don't even have money for said shirt.
[Rant/Rave] Since we are talking about ED dreams...
/u/Zaomi [172 cm |CW: 58.4 kg| BMI: 19.57 | GW: 55kg | HW: 67 kg | 21F |]
Created: Thu Aug 31 12:00:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x8il2/since_we_are_talking_about_ed_dreams/
---
I actually dreamed of you guys ! Haha. We all met and we're just hanging out and having fun. Till we started a big fight over a girl that weights about 80 lbs and still thought she that she is fat. Everyone had a different opinion so we kept arguing. I could actually see this happening if we would really meet haha
[Discussion] Im sick and have no appetite
/u/like_a_living_thing [5'4" | 117 | F | 👽]
Created: Thu Aug 31 11:41:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x8eew/im_sick_and_have_no_appetite/
---
It'd be great if I didn't feel like shit. ): Just seems like a cold I caught, tons of people are moving back to college town for school. Im on a Very Healthy regimen of coffee and generic Walgreens brand DayQuil. What do you guys do to feel better when you're sick that doesn't involve eating?
(On mobile pls flair as question if that's a flair? Discussion maybe? I am very out of it my brain is failing meee)
[Rant/Rave] Getting over a plateau
/u/aoedeXLI
Created: Thu Aug 31 10:58:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x844e/getting_over_a_plateau/
---
Hello, mostly lurker here. I've tagged this as rant/rave but I guess I'd like whatever advice you guys have as well.
I've been so stressed these last month with school coming up, and for me that means getting on a plane and flying back to where my school is - across the country. I was really trying to make this year my best yet, and wanted to get back to the city looking incredible but I can't seem to get over this frigging plateau!!!!
I've had such a bad relapse. This time last year I was eating semi-normally (around 900-1200/day with NO B/P) and when I was actually hungry and my body was working?? I forgot that that was an actual thing that happened? These last two weeks though I'm realizing that I'm going to have to be on a plane in a week and I'm not even close to where I want to be and I've been restricting to about 400 liquid only cals a day while burning 1500-2000 a day, bingeing and purging when I fail my liquid diet, and tons of laxatives.
I've only lost maybe 5 lbs in like 3 weeks of this cycle and I've JUST finally gotten under that 120 lb mark and I've been fighting to get under 118 for an entire week. WTFFFF WHY CANT I JUST LOSE?!
I have no idea if this is actually a plateau or I'm fooling myself and driving myself crazy, but I feel like such a failure. I want so desperately to be at most 115 by the time I go back but I don't think it's going to happen.
I think my body looks a little different, even my mom asked the other day if I'd lost weight but it's not enough. The only thing keeping me sane is the fact that when I go back I live alone, can go to the gym, will be working again and basically burning like 2500 cal/ day.
I guess my question for you guys if you've made it this far in my post, is how do you deal with this??? I'm going absolutely bat-shit and I'm so close to saying "fuck it" and continuing to be the whale that I am.
Side note- you guys are all so wonderful. Coming to this community has been the best thing for me to feel like I'm not alone and welcome. You guys are an inspiration and I wish you all love and happiness and health. xxxxxx
[Goal] Whooshed this morning finally <3
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 31 10:46:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x81ea/whooshed_this_morning_finally_3/
---
http://imgur.com/aeLsSrn
[Goal] Down (freshman) 15 lbs from last semester!
/u/mainechick [5'4'' | CW 127 lb | GW 125 | UGW 107]
Created: Thu Aug 31 10:24:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x7whh/down_freshman_15_lbs_from_last_semester/
---
At the end of last semester, I was at my high weight of ~142 lb. As of this morning, I'm 127lbs! Bye-bye, freshman 15! I move back to campus on Monday, and I'm so happy to have hit this before everyone sees me for the first time in months. I still feel like a total fatass next to my high school LW of 112lbs, but I'm halfway there!
Sabotaging partner?
/u/JackSkeletal [5'7" | Male]
Created: Thu Aug 31 10:13:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x7tt2/sabotaging_partner/
---
[removed]
Do you guys have any good before and afters, preferably with stats listed?
/u/jjfmish
Created: Thu Aug 31 10:13:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x7tsy/do_you_guys_have_any_good_before_and_afters/
---
[removed]
[Other] It's happening lads
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 196 lb | GW: 120 lb | 22F]
Created: Thu Aug 31 09:56:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x7pzk/its_happening_lads/
---
https://imgur.com/I8ipTGW
[Rant/Rave] Anyone else tried any of the Miracle Noodles? Do you mix them with anything?
/u/demonofequality [5'5"| CW: 128 | GW: 115 | 21.89 | -22 lbs| F]
Created: Thu Aug 31 09:55:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x7ps9/anyone_else_tried_any_of_the_miracle_noodles_do/
---
I got some Miracle Noodles (spinach and angle hair) on Monday and made them for lunch today. They seriously sound like a miracle; a 3.0 oz bag of "noodles" for 34.5 calories. I prepared them last night and they smell like rotting fish out of the bag but once you rinse them and boil them that really goes down. I added them to a spicy tomato sauce I made and tried them, not bad, but we'll see how it goes for my entire lunch.
Has anyone else tried these or am I just now catching on to something everyone else knows about?
Also for those who have made them, what do you pair or mix them with?
[Other] I just called my school's health center and told them that I have an eating disorder and the psychiatrist is calling me tomorrow to set up a time. My heart is pounding.
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ 158 ☀️ 🍑 is same as here]
Created: Thu Aug 31 09:54:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x7pkw/i_just_called_my_schools_health_center_and_told/
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I am worrying about so much tofday and I just have to type it all out and tell someone. I am fucking terrified. I can't believe that I actually just told the person on the phone that I have an eating disorder and I need help. She was very kind and didn't comment on it or anything and just said the specialist is calling me tomorrow to set up an appointment time and I can't believe that this is really happening. I have been avoiding this for so long but I cannot go on like this, spending so much freaking time trying to cope with this when I just can't handle this alone. I want to be healthy and not worry about every single calorie.
I'm not ready for recovery but this is a start. Thanks for listening.
[Other] Back back back again
/u/Pitaia [1.70cm | CW: aaaHHAHA | BMI: ? |GW: S M A L L]
Created: Thu Aug 31 09:01:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x7ds1/back_back_back_again/
---
Hi all! I've been away from this sub and commenting on Reddit in general. This is a good space for me to talk about what's been stuck in my throat for a while and I hope I can do it. That feeling of "you're not sick enough!" never goes away. I'm just looking forward to chatting and being more active 😊 /blog lol
xo
[Rant/Rave] When I least expected it, it started happening
/u/nervous_nandu
Created: Thu Aug 31 08:43:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x7a1k/when_i_least_expected_it_it_started_happening/
---
IM LOSING THE WEIGHT AGAIN. At this point in my life (just moved in with s/o who watches me eat and is very no-bullshit with my ED) I would never expect for this to be the time when I'm able to start losing again, but look at that! I'm down to 130! A bit of background on my weight, 3 years ago I hit 130 and it was the most I'd ever weighed and it scared the fuck out of me so I lost it and was down to 98 but in the past 1.5 years I gained it all back plus 15 lbs and hit 145. ANYWAYS, the first few weeks we lived together restricting was so hard because we were always home and always together, but now that classes have started, it's soon much easier, since I'm always on campus. I just pack snacks in my bag and throw them out when I get to class so the only meal I have to eat is dinner, which I cook! Things are looking up, knock on wood though. Thanks for listening.
Edit- I just came home from class and broke under 130!!! it feels so good to break that number again even though i still have a long way to go
[Rant/Rave] This is so shitty of me
/u/squishysponges [18F|5'5"|GW 110]
Created: Thu Aug 31 08:43:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x79zr/this_is_so_shitty_of_me/
---
But DAE when they look at someone overweight or obese feel like they look exactly like them? I know it's so shitty to think that way (yay body dysmorphia!!!) but as I'm sitting in the hallway waiting for my class this extremely large woman is standing next to me and I know she's at least 3 times bigger than me and I don't look like her, but I feel like I do. So. So. Awful. Of. Me. I feel like a terrible person thinking like this.
[Goal] Hit my first GW today...
/u/floodinginmymind [5'8" | CW: fat | BMI: fat | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 31 08:41:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x79jx/hit_my_first_gw_today/
---
That's 32 lbs down from June. And guess how I feel?
Fucking fat.
I'll never be thin enough...
[Other] well, shucks.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 31 08:21:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x75d4/well_shucks/
---
https://i.redd.it/71if5njh13jz.png
[Intro] Hello again, my old friends :) [Introduction]
/u/_lysium
Created: Thu Aug 31 08:19:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x74zv/hello_again_my_old_friends_introduction/
---
Hello lovelies.
I used to frequent here and then I went into recovery. I hated it so much. I gained so much weight, I went from underweight to overweight. Well, I can't stand it anymore. I feel stuck & at a standstill in my life, so I'm coming back to the thing that made me feel beautiful and like I had some sort of control over my life.
I missed you lovelies.
[Other] I feel personally attacked everythingisfineit'swhatever
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 31 08:16:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x74ed/i_feel_personally_attacked/
---
https://i.redd.it/itb1trjj03jz.png
WIRE HANGERS
/u/getup_shutdown
Created: Thu Aug 31 08:15:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x743r/wire_hangers/
---
[removed]
[Help] Does anybody know of a non-gummy multivitamin that doesnt taste like literal sh*t
/u/AlexeiMarie [5'8.5 | CW: 131.8lbs | BMI: 19.7 | UGW: 98lbs | F]
Created: Thu Aug 31 08:13:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x73st/does_anybody_know_of_a_nongummy_multivitamin_that/
---
^
[Other] You are all so perfect!
/u/starvingforbeauty [5'3 | 113 | F | UGW: 105]
Created: Thu Aug 31 07:53:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x6zok/you_are_all_so_perfect/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] August 31st, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [27F | 5'5 | 125 lb | 21.05 | GW 110 | UGW 105 ]
Created: Thu Aug 31 07:00:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x6p8f/august_31st_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What was the last wedding you attended?
Mine was my ex's sister's wedding in rural West Virginia. I hate the concept of marriage and don't plan on getting married, but it was beautiful. 😢
[Help] How to be in control again?
/u/yasssunicorn
Created: Thu Aug 31 07:00:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x6p4z/how_to_be_in_control_again/
---
[removed]
[Other] me_irl
/u/janesavage [170 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 18F ]
Created: Thu Aug 31 06:40:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x6lr0/me_irl/
---
https://i.redd.it/hphi1pujj2jz.jpg
me_irl
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 31 06:38:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x6le1/me_irl/
---
https://i.redd.it/ilqema06j2jz.jpg
[Help] Took 2 extra strength laxatives 12 hours ago...
/u/brita09234890235
Created: Thu Aug 31 06:27:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x6jfd/took_2_extra_strength_laxatives_12_hours_ago/
---
And nothing happened. Not even those weird feelings you usually get when taking them. I took it 12 hours ago and went to bed, and so it's now morning. Should I take them again, or would it be better to just wait till after I eat?
[Rant/Rave] No batteries for my scale 😵
/u/posyposer [5'4 | 135 | 23.2 | -38 | f]
Created: Thu Aug 31 06:18:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x6hv9/no_batteries_for_my_scale/
---
I woke up this morning after a day of fasting, so excited to weigh myself BUT MY SCALE DIED 😭 it requires the tiniest screwdriver to open and I tried literally everything this morning and I couldn't do it. I'm going to a funeral today and I'm so anxious about that and this was supposed to be the thing that kept me feeling alright but NOPE. How the fuck am I supposed to know if I can eat today? I guess the solution is another day of fasting 🙃
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support August 31, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Aug 31 06:11:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x6gpg/weekly_emotional_support_august_31_2017/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 31, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Aug 31 06:10:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x6gle/daily_food_diary_august_31_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 31, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
stuck in bed
/u/getup_shutdown
Created: Thu Aug 31 06:05:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x6frm/stuck_in_bed/
---
[removed]
[Help] How the hell do I pick a multivitamin? D: Help!
/u/yesyeshihello [5'2" | CW: 103 | BMI: 19 | 27F]
Created: Thu Aug 31 05:35:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x6av7/how_the_hell_do_i_pick_a_multivitamin_d_help/
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I was looking through the multivitamins at victoriahealth.com and there's just so god damn many of them :( how am I supposed to choose??
The cheap ass side of me says just get the cheapest one. But they look too cheap. Like I might as well not take anything.
How do you guys choose your supplements? What is everybody taking?
[Discussion] September Goals
/u/IWillNotHealYou [5'10" | CW:280 | HW: 378.8 | Weight Lost: 98.8 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 31 05:32:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x6afm/september_goals/
---
It's a little early, usually I post this the first day of the month but I might be sleeping in tomorrow. What are your goals for this month? August kind of sucked for me, so I'm really going to work hard this month to try and feel less shitty about myself.
[Rant/Rave] Getting back on track
/u/SpookyRach [5'2" | CW 215.6lbs | GW 120lbs | HW 220.6lbs | F]
Created: Thu Aug 31 04:48:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x63zu/getting_back_on_track/
---
Summer is nearly over and I swear I've spent pretty much all of it seriously stuffing my face. Wish I was joking, but sadly that's not the case. I love summer for the long, warm sunny days but the temptation of ice-cream and other awesome tasty high fat foods got to me, and I've been experimenting with making jam for the first time. Guess where that lead - yep stuffing my face trying out what I made.
Time to get back on track for good - where is that weight loss/restriction wagon of mine. /me goes for in search of it.
[Help] Had an eating disorder before & now I'm fat
/u/throwaway762905
Created: Thu Aug 31 03:28:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x5tw0/had_an_eating_disorder_before_now_im_fat/
---
[removed]
I used to have an eating disorder but now I'm fat
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 31 03:18:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x5sno/i_used_to_have_an_eating_disorder_but_now_im_fat/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] TW: induced vomiting
/u/House_Pest [5'5 | CW 52 kg | bmi 19 | f]
Created: Thu Aug 31 02:15:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x5l82/rant_tw_induced_vomiting/
---
Hi there. A part of me feels like I have to write this and another part feels like it's just me being desperate and begging for attention. I'll probably delete this later.
I just threw up my breakfast for the first time in what, five weeks, and I'm fucking disappointed of myself because I thought I had stopped. It's scary. I've read and reread the risks and complications a thousand times. I don't want to end up in the ER because of my stupidity. I don't want anyone to find out.
I would die of shame if my parents found out, but half the time I feel like I'm just a fucking impostor and I'm just starving myself for attention and I'm actually okay. But the other half I feel like a fucking whale. I'm ugly, honestly, I hate my face. I hate seeing myself in photographs because it reminds me of my looks. I want to be able to feel good about some part of me. I want to be thin. Actually, if i could become so thin I disappear it would be ok ?
I feel like I should see someone, but I'm also terrified. I'm terrified of finding out I'm not ok, but I'm also terrified of finding out I was actually ok all the time and it was all in my head. Sometimes I overeat and not mind it, and sometimes I eat the tiniest thing and feel like a failure.
Welp. At least I feel a bit better writing this all down ? Idk
[Goal] So... this happened
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 54.9 | 18.34/18.13 | GW: < 55 by 1/9 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 31 02:03:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x5jqr/so_this_happened/
---
http://imgur.com/a/av0Y3
[Other] Why are you like this??
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 180lbs | BMI:25 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Thu Aug 31 01:59:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x5j69/why_are_you_like_this/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I just need to vent and talk to someone, I don't know who to tell this to.
/u/fatandignored
Created: Wed Aug 30 23:47:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x51s8/i_just_need_to_vent_and_talk_to_someone_i_dont/
---
My (long distance) boyfriend and I were talking and I was being little sappy and lame, which I don't really do, and he suddenly goes "Hey can I say something real quick? I know it's rude but..." so I thought he was gonna say something dumb but he goes "I think you gained weight since you got back from your trip." and I just want to die.
He doesn't know I struggle with eating and binging and it's been a roller coaster for me for the past 6 years. I've gone through times where I ate nothing but frozen strawberries for days at a time, exercising for 8 hours a day. I've gone through times where I eat literally everything in my sight. Right now it's just a mixture of the two and it sucks. I really hate myself and my body. My trip had a lot of amazing food and I didn't want to lose out on some things since it would be near impossible for me to get a chance to eat them again.
I gained 5 pounds. He doesn't even know how my body looks because I refuse to show him. He's only seen my face and the upper half of my body.
I thought he was different from the other guys I've dated, I really loved this guy. He was sweet and he never asked me about my weight or commented on what I was eating. I don't get why he would suddenly say this, especially when I was literally talking about how nervous I get and I was kinda?? opening myself up to him.
The guy I had a thing with (very briefly) before him commented on what I ate, even if I had one meal that day. "Don't you think you're eating too much?" "Please tell me you don't weigh over 130 pounds." I wanted to get out of that. I know I'm disgusting, don't make it worse.
My eating disorder and depression started when I fell in love with this guy 6 years ago who led me on for a long time before telling me "I would date you but you're too fat for me" every time we hung out or called. Even my guy friends say this to me and it just broke me.
It's funny because I was restricting today too. My boyfriend knows all I had was a snack (49 cal rice cake puffs) and cup noodles (200 cal).
I love this guy and this shouldn't even hurt me since it's not like he called me fat or anything but now I don't know what to feel. I feel angry and I'm scared I won't like him anymore. I think he feels really bad but I honestly don't know. I want to cry but I can't because I'm in call with a friend and my roommate is next to me.
I'm really sorry for the rant and posting so often, I don't know if this is allowed here but I don't have anyone else to talk to about this because I know they'll just say to dump him but he was honestly the first guy to make me feel good about myself. This is the first thing he's done that hurt me, honestly. Aaaand no one knows about my eating disorder so...
I just wanna die rn, honestly LMAO
[Other] What do I have?
/u/coffeebean27
Created: Wed Aug 30 23:43:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x5188/what_do_i_have/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Butter on popcorn just triggered a binge...
/u/cocochaichai
Created: Wed Aug 30 23:41:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x50xw/butter_on_popcorn_just_triggered_a_binge/
---
I know this is random but I just really needed to rant and I feel like you guys are the only people who might understand me. So today I had a pretty good day and ate really great, my goal has recently been 1000 calories a day because I was feeling so crappy at my lower restrictions I decided to give my body a break. Well it had been a really long day and I was exhausted and watching tv with my mom who decided to make popcorn as a snack. Popcorn is one of my safe foods and I still had about 200 calories left for the day so I shared some with her. Well about halfway through the bowl I realize it tastes more buttery than usual (how the hell was i so tired that it took me this long to notice?!) So I ask my mom in the most calm voice I can muster while my brain is going into full on panic mode "did you add butter to this?" Her response was "oh yeah I like it more buttery than the package so I added some." SOME?! What the hell am I supposed to do with that?! Cue my insane brain going well I guess you already fucked up so might as well binge. So I went from an 800 day to 2300 calories. Fuck.
[Help] ending a binge phase - please tell me how
/u/gobtastic [5'7" | CW: 106 | GW: 98 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 30 23:38:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x50h8/ending_a_binge_phase_please_tell_me_how/
---
hi guys
I was doing great and got down to my LW about 2 and a half weeks ago, but then some stuff in my personal life triggered my depression and anxiety and I was binging to cope. but unlike my usual binge phases, this one has lasted for the whole time since then and I'm losing my mind. I can't stop eating but I'm gaining so much weight and I can't seem to get back to the restricting mindset.
does anyone have any advice about how to snap out of it?
[Rant/Rave] Went to the store 2 days ago- down 2 boxes of zebra cakes, close to a gallon of milk, and half a container of strawberry milk mix.
/u/CassTheUltimateBA [5'10 | 144.6 | 20.6 | 75 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 30 23:20:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x4xy5/went_to_the_store_2_days_ago_down_2_boxes_of/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Managed to not buy allll the non-dairy Haagen Dazs! And other musings
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [27F | 5'5 | 125 lb | 21.05 | GW 110 | UGW 105 ]
Created: Wed Aug 30 22:54:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x4u0e/managed_to_not_buy_allll_the_nondairy_haagen_dazs/
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I was at target today and they had $3.50 non-dairy HD ice cream, plus it was 20% off on cartwheel, so $2.80 a pint. I haven't tried it yet so I wanted to try allll the flavors (hello rum raisin???) but it was like 300 calories a serving and I know I would obviously eat all 4 servings. Plus I wanted to get like 4 flavors in addition to the new flavors of Ben and Jerrys. I didn't buy any! Instead I stocked up on the Gardein products that were on cartwheel.
Also haven't binged this week so far and have stayed under 1200 cal Monday through today!
I'm gonna try to get a bullet journal going tomorrow to help me visualize and keep streaks going.
Ironically, entering a ton of baked goods data (name, type, book, and page number) into a spreadsheet for easy access for things I want into bring into work kept me from eating more tonight 😂
[Help] I think my parents are going to send me to inpatient counseling...
/u/help-me-throwaway-ed
Created: Wed Aug 30 22:52:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x4tk8/i_think_my_parents_are_going_to_send_me_to/
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This is a throwaway account but I have posted here before. I don't know what to do, I found brochures in my mom's office for different inpatient treatment centers, but I'm not ready to recover. I didn't even know they knew about my ED, unless my therapist told them that I had been talking about it with her. I just don't know what to do, do I talk to my parents? I really don't want to be sent away and feel worse than I already do.
[Other] I'm not sure if i'm even anorexic honestly...
/u/tacehtelle [5"7 | 119.5 | 18.65 :( | 6.5 lbs :( | Female]
Created: Wed Aug 30 22:38:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x4rcd/im_not_sure_if_im_even_anorexic_honestly/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Why did I do this?
/u/smange719
Created: Wed Aug 30 22:37:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x4r75/why_did_i_do_this/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Seems like my country is trying out a new health initiative... I cringe every time I see an ad for it.
/u/AirshipPirate
Created: Wed Aug 30 21:09:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x4cif/seems_like_my_country_is_trying_out_a_new_health/
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https://i.imgur.com/2GcZ3is.png
[Discussion] MFP username swap? TW calorie talk
/u/Riley_Andro
Created: Wed Aug 30 20:32:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x45nf/mfp_username_swap_tw_calorie_talk/
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I'd like some more friends on My Fitness Pal if anyone's interested? My goal calories are ~1400 but I try to aim lower.
Edit: my username is reillypup
[Rant/Rave] Need to just vent about a binge
/u/Jtgonc [5'8 | CW : 166]
Created: Wed Aug 30 19:31:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x3u1l/need_to_just_vent_about_a_binge/
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[removed]
[Help] Hi guys! I have 3 months to loose 25lbs, I was wondering if anybody has any helping tips on not loosing motivation?
/u/peachy-cinnamon
Created: Wed Aug 30 18:58:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x3nja/hi_guys_i_have_3_months_to_loose_25lbs_i_was/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Told myself I was definitely NOT going to b/p tonight...
/u/then_she_said [5'7 | -50 | 27F | UGW: 130]
Created: Wed Aug 30 18:34:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x3in5/told_myself_i_was_definitely_not_going_to_bp/
---
My fiancee works late some nights, and those are the nights that I usually plan my b/p. Tonight is one of those nights, and I spent all day ravenous and daydreaming of Taco Bell, internally planning to stop for some loaded potato grillers on my way home and stuff my face.
Got in my car and drove right by T Bell. Told myself a strong "no". We went to Taco Tuesday last night and I overate and felt like crap, and I'm determined to have a good week and hit my next goal by next Wednesday. So I stopped at Aldi instead and picked up some balsamic glaze for a roasted eggplant and tomato sandwich, ate it for less than 250 calories and was really happy with myself.
Of course though, having a vodka seltzer and watching Food Network, I started getting really hungry and decided to make some low-calorie popcorn to snack on. Didn't add enough butter to get the nooch to stick to the kernels, and accidentally dumped like 3 servings on there.
Like, why was that the trigger to say "Fuck it" and make myself a mayo-loaded tuna sandwich, finish the entire bucket of popcorn AND eat a chocolate bar, and then just purge it?? It was such blatant self-sabotage and I felt so complacent through it, like "oh, this is my life now, must eat everything I'm craving and then burst a blood vessel in my forehead purging."
At least I weighed in afterwards the same as I did this morning?
Since Pro Ana isn't Pro anymore ..
/u/Hatr1x
Created: Wed Aug 30 18:11:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x3dmo/since_pro_ana_isnt_pro_anymore/
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[removed]
[Discussion] is anyone else really aware of other e.d. people at the supermarket?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18 | 22F]
Created: Wed Aug 30 17:56:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x3akb/is_anyone_else_really_aware_of_other_ed_people_at/
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i'm acutely aware of people intensely checking out the nutrition value of food (saw a woman doing it today with peanut butter lol) and whenever i'm scrutinizing the calorie content of stuff i wonder if there's anyone with an e.d who notices
like shoutout to anyone who's seen me staring at the back of every granola bar/chip bag/drink bottle comparing calorie content and also doing it for high-calorie stuff that i know i'm definitely not gonna buy ✌️
[Discussion] does anyone else get bloated and have really bad stomach pains after going back to eating "normally"?
/u/achildrenofbodomfan
Created: Wed Aug 30 17:43:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x380k/does_anyone_else_get_bloated_and_have_really_bad/
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I ate like a normal person for a day after restricting and fasting for weeks and I'm bloating like crazy and I have the worst stomach ache ever. 😩
[Rant/Rave] STOP SAYING YOU CANT FLAIR ON MOBILE!
/u/-RainbowSeeker-
Created: Wed Aug 30 17:36:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x36ks/stop_saying_you_cant_flair_on_mobile/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] competition with myself
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 19bmi | -140 | 30F | AU]
Created: Wed Aug 30 17:31:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x35gt/competition_with_myself/
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my psychiatrist wants to see me monthly even though I told her I couldn't afford it now, she made it work financially, because of the way I think about myself/ body image, since i lost like 40 lbs between appointments and now, she immediately said no, you're coming in, we'll make it work.
now
it feels
like a fucking competition
with myself
to lose as much weight between appointments
I am really afraid because my weight really fluctuates over a month, I don't drop last as other people for some reason, (even though I've eaten sub 300 pretty much for a year ANYWAY)
so between 30ish says I'm afraid if I don't lose weight Im not a successful person worthy of getting help even though I don't want it.
my head is messed up
in other news I've had 3 friends this week ask me (over the internet because I live in a different country now) expressing concern over my weight loss
[Rant/Rave] when u eat more than u should before going out to eat (feat. being freaky while looking for low-calorie stuff at the market!)✌️
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18 | 22F]
Created: Wed Aug 30 17:14:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x31u9/when_u_eat_more_than_u_should_before_going_out_to/
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[removed]
[Intro] I cant believe this is happening.
/u/throwaway03199519 [5'5 3/4 | CW: 121.0| GW: 112 | HW: 136]
Created: Wed Aug 30 17:07:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x30cz/i_cant_believe_this_is_happening/
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I never thought id gain so much weight back. I feel like a complete failure, slob, and ugly person. I got down to 108 (granted, whilst dehydrated) and now im 121 after only about two months of overeating/binging. I hate myself and cant stand the skin im forced to live in. I just want to be comfortable again.
Ya, ya girl is back boyz. Idk if youll remember me, but im here and ready to be a part of this community again.
[Goal] FINALLY THE GAP IS MINE!!!
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~58.4lb | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Wed Aug 30 17:04:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x2zud/finally_the_gap_is_mine/
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http://imgur.com/gVChhlg
[Rant/Rave] Halo-fuckin'-Top impulse purchase - NO REGRETS
/u/awayawaydown [6'0" | 17.2 | 16.3 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 30 17:01:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x2z1b/halofuckintop_impulse_purchase_no_regrets/
---
Was grocery shopping and was doing awesome - low-cal stone fruits, ingredients for vegan curry, fortified cereal b/c MFP says I don't get enough iron, nooch b/c not enough B vites. Got me some diet root beer to mix liquor with so I can get drunk, not fat.
I decided to try some things this sub likes - got me some sugar free pudding mix and wandered down to the refrigerated section afterward.
YOU GUYS, HALO TOP WAS ON SALE. I bought 4 flavors - pistachio, vanilla, cherry, chocolate I think? I was on FIRE. I was not sure if I would like it but damn, last night I really craved sweets for the first time in a while. And when I checked out, I got a Halo Top coupon.
After dinner, I had a serving of the cherry and it was sooo sweet and creamy. Salty too. All the Halo Top fiends on this thread haven't led me astray.
HALO TOP LIFE
[Rant/Rave] Why thinspiration media frustrates and frightens me [RANT]
/u/tobedishonest
Created: Wed Aug 30 15:13:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x2abj/why_thinspiration_media_frustrates_and_frightens/
---
So, I'm rewatching Stranger Things. Seeing as I'm on this sub, I'm sure y'all know what I've been focusing on: the perfection that is Natalia Dyer. She's petite, she's elegant, she's pretty.
I'll never look like her. Fact: I am fat. Fact: no one would care about her character if *she* were fat. Ergo, fact: no one would care about me in her situation.
It's something that occurs to me every time I watch a show with a thin lead actress - if *I* were, hypothetically, to find myself in such a situation worthy of a story, no one would care about me.
Shadowhunters? If Clary were fat and ugly and awkward, then she's dead in the first episode.
Stranger Things? No one would ever try and save, or fall in love with, or help and befriend, a Nancy Wheeler that looks like me. Not ever.
To the Bone? Well, who gets the romantic subplot, the stylish clothes and dramatic makeup, the snarky lines and the character focus, is it Lily Collins or Retta, is it Lily Collins or Lindsay McDowell?
Headshot? I'm not the beautiful heroine left living with someone rampaging to save me, I'm one of the anonymous people left dead because fuck em, they're not pretty enough to be a character motivation.
Roman Holiday? Lmao, leave the landwhale passed out on the bench.
I can't even escape it in music videos - Ariana Grande, Taylor Swift, Son Na Eun, more and more, more than I can name.
I could go on. I still might. All of my thinspiration media just remind me that I'm not and will never be the central figure. I'm too fat. Too ugly. Too awkward, too loud, too graceless.
I want to be those girls. I want to be elfin Audrey Hepburn, who can be flighty and mischievous and flit about with little black dresses and cigarette holders. I want to be tiny Natalia Dyer, all vulnerability and delicacy, all quiet courage and magnetic beauty. I want to be Katherine McNamara or Lily Collins, tiny legged and tiny waisted, someone you'd want to save, someone you'd worry about, someone you'd see and think about, someone you could fall in love with without feeling pity.
I'm starting uni in exactly 30 days. I told myself I would be thin by now. I'm fatter than ever. I'm fatter than everyone and anyone else. I'm frightened by how much I hate myself, everything about myself, every aspect and every facet of my own being. Every time I watch these shows, I tell myself - this time I'll starve myself. This time it's for good. This time, it's for real.
It hasn't worked for me yet.
[Discussion] What kind of music do you guys like?
/u/Toothflossie [5'9" | 96lbs | 14.2 bmi]
Created: Wed Aug 30 15:13:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x2a9d/what_kind_of_music_do_you_guys_like/
---
I'm ALWAYS on the lookout for new tunes.
My personal favorite bands are Tom Chaplin/Keane(<3), Tally Hall, Mother Mother, TØP, Mates of State, and Jhameel.
What do you listen to?(:
[Rant/Rave] How does someone manage to come off as so holier than thou for being skinny while promoting recovery lmao
/u/Peachfae [5'5" | cw 115.4 | gw 114 | f]
Created: Wed Aug 30 14:56:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x264x/how_does_someone_manage_to_come_off_as_so_holier/
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https://i.redd.it/ubv01v45vxiz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] How does someone manage to come off holier than thou while "promoting recovery" like this....
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 30 14:53:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x259k/how_does_someone_manage_to_come_off_holier_than/
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https://i.redd.it/wufvlwchuxiz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] "Have you lost weight?" (on mobile, can't flair)
/u/Throwaway3344511
Created: Wed Aug 30 14:05:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x1tny/have_you_lost_weight_on_mobile_cant_flair/
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So my mom is friends with a woman that works in a clothes shop. Said woman knows me, but hadn't seen me in a couple months. Today we went to her shop and she was shocked when she saw me. "Have you lost weight? You're dissappearing! Did you follow a diet?" I was smiling like an idiot. Then I was in the dressing room and I heard the woman and my mom talking. I heard the woman saying "She lost a lot of weight. Does she even eat?" and my mom went quite, I think she whispered something like "she's anorexic" but I don't care.
Then I went to the park and I saw a couple people I also hadn't seen in a while. Everyone kept saying "You've changed so much! Have you lost weight?".
I'm so happy and have no one to tell. But I know you all can understand.
[Help] How to concentrate while fasting?
/u/sororityengineering [5'6" | GW: deadly]
Created: Wed Aug 30 13:52:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x1qjv/how_to_concentrate_while_fasting/
---
I work in a lab all day and this is my favorite place to work. I don't have distractions, if I need help there's usually a resource somewhere.
I've been getting panic attacks lately, and I start crying out of nowhere. I'm not really hungry, I tried eating an apple and got bored of it. Not really craving anything in particular either. I haven't been eating normally since Friday out of stress so I might think that has something to do with it. I had a smoothie yesterday which was probably my biggest meal so far.
I tried coffee a couple days ago, that didn't work(probably made it worst). I packed a lunch today, rice with chicken and vegetables, so I would at least have the option of eating but it's lunch time and I don't feel like eating and I don't want to eat if I'm not going to like it.
I'm going to go out for a walk and write in my journal for a bit, but does anyone have any other suggestions?
Protein shakes?
/u/thatgirlwholikespink
Created: Wed Aug 30 13:23:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x1j6n/protein_shakes/
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[removed]
[Help] shaking, dizzy, and scared
/u/planningfallacy_
Created: Wed Aug 30 12:57:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x1cso/shaking_dizzy_and_scared/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Ugh. I was doing well.
/u/Aprikoosi_flex [5'9" | cw 127 | gw 117 | ugw 110 | 25F💎]
Created: Wed Aug 30 12:44:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x19h0/ugh_i_was_doing_well/
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Please mark rant.
Last Sunday my boyfriends brother got his white coat for med school. The week before I had been eating very little and working out because I picked a tight dress and heels to wear. I felt good that morning getting ready! I should not have.
The whole day was a disaster. I was asked to step out of pictures, and told I was too tall (my bfs family is super rude). I saw the pictures of me that were taken and I look like a fucking monster. Like twice as big as usual. I just want to give up bc I worked so fucking hard and I still looked like a fat mess.
[Discussion] Does anyone else feel sick when eating?
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 115.8 | GW: 110 | M/15]
Created: Wed Aug 30 12:41:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x18vn/does_anyone_else_feel_sick_when_eating/
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I was eating today and I took a bite and it felt like I couldn't keep it down and it was stuck in my throat. I was unable to talk for a while until it went down. I'm not even bullimic and have never purged. I've also been getting cramps after eating normally recently.
[Rant/Rave] Binged this morning, but threw away everything so I don't do it again after work 😭
/u/homicidoll [5'4 | -54 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 30 12:26:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x155l/binged_this_morning_but_threw_away_everything_so/
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Bought a large pizza and cheese sticks around 10:30 this am, ate the ~1100 calories of cheese sticks, ~750 calories of pizza, then dumped the remaining 6.5 pieces of pizza in the trash. Hopefully the actual waste of money this was will prevent me from pulling this shit again.
What's worse is I forced myself to finish the second piece of pizza and immediately was overwhelmed with nausea 😭 I just feel so crappy for binging like this!!!!! aaaaa!!!!!!!
[Help] I need smaller calves rn, please help
/u/ss-dreamz [5'11.3 | cw: 179.7 | bmi: 24.3 | gw: 140 | -29.7 lbs| F/18]
Created: Wed Aug 30 12:19:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x13dt/i_need_smaller_calves_rn_please_help/
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So I'm fairly new here, enjoying my stay so far. 😇
I've actually had a great month, and I'm kinda noticeably losing weight everywhere.
Except. My. Calves.
I have the most muscular yet super fat (!) calves ever. They're actually huge, and I hate it. 😓
I've gone down only 1 pants-size bcz of the fact that I can't even fit my calves into my new ones, even tho they'd probably fit around my thigh.
Tbh I got some long spider veins too (genetics + the fact that I'm tall AND fat). I feel like I'm putting my calves under so much pressure, but don't know what to do!
I want to lose some muscle as well, and plan on persisting to restrict for as long as possible. (Surely they'll get smaller eventually heh 😅) question is tho, how do I do this as fast as possible? Does anyone have any tips? (Or warnings where I should stay away from?) I need them to be thinner asap
I need to fit in my short-term goal pants in 2 weeks so I'm pretty desperate. 😢
[Thinspo] Been staring at this pic for the last 2 days, those legs are absolutely perfect
/u/Biebercel [BMI: 18.8 | Useless junkie loser]
Created: Wed Aug 30 12:15:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x12d2/been_staring_at_this_pic_for_the_last_2_days/
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http://i.imgur.com/AtCBBZn.jpg
[Discussion] Obsessing over food has helped every other aspect of my life
/u/RosenWeiss9 [5'3.5" | 113.8 | 20.31 | -13.7 | 25F]
Created: Wed Aug 30 12:14:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x1252/obsessing_over_food_has_helped_every_other_aspect/
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Thinking about food and calories all the time and planning my meals and being incredibly in control has helped me be less anxious about my job, my band, and everything else. I'm under 115 now first time in 5 years, my husband touches my stomach a lot and compliments me, and I feel a sense of purpose when I go to bed under my calorie goal
[Rant/Rave] I feel addicted to certain combinations of tastes.
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Wed Aug 30 11:17:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x0nlv/i_feel_addicted_to_certain_combinations_of_tastes/
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Do you know what I mean? Like, there are certain foods/dishes/meals, usually pre-prepared from a restaurant or store, that I feel a NEED for. Because they are so pleasurable. And eating something else would be a waste (of calories). The issue is that, in true addict fashion, I spend way too much money on it.
I'm just sitting here, agonizing over what to eat, and I feel so stuck. :[
[Discussion] If you're looking for safe sushi
/u/WhattheNorris [5'2 | 132.0 | -22 | gw 120 | •ᴗ•]
Created: Wed Aug 30 10:41:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x0e7u/if_youre_looking_for_safe_sushi/
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Go to publix! Calorie counts on all of their rolls! And they make them with brown rice too! And they're all stupid delicious. A bit pricey but you definitely get the quality you're paying for.
Any other store-sushi you guys recommend? Any you condemn? I for one am surprised walmart even sells sushi because it looks so damn sad (at least in the areas I've lived in).
[Other] Had the weirdest dream last night...
/u/the-watermeloner [115.6 lbs | 5'4" | -2.4 lbs | 20.23 | 14f]
Created: Wed Aug 30 10:03:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x04gx/had_the_weirdest_dream_last_night/
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I dreamed that instead of /r/SuicideWatch, there was a subreddit called /r/bingewatch so you could talk to someone while having binge urges and stuff. it was... weird but also effective for dream-me?
Anyways, what are some strange dreams, ED or not, that y'all have had?
[Rant/Rave] The scale is a monster.
/u/tattoosandcoffeee [5'4 | GW 108 | -12]
Created: Wed Aug 30 10:01:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x03w8/the_scale_is_a_monster/
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Ive always been too scared to weigh often. I've always avoided the scale b/c it would literally ruin my day. But finally for the first time..ive been weighing about every 2-3 days. I have read everything online about how scales aren't 100% accurate and very fickle. BUT TODAY I realized JUST how fickle they are and its sucks. I woke up, weighed myself 3 times. got the same number every time. Had a BM..drank half a glass of water to take my meds..thought to myself "HEY I just had a BM , maybe ill weigh less?" NOPE. I was .4 lbs HEAVIER after just half a glass of F*CKING water. I HATE SCALES!
[Tip] PSA: Please Start Drinking Almond Milk!
/u/Blehergered [5'2 | 139.8 | Overweight | -42 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 30 09:57:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6x030c/psa_please_start_drinking_almond_milk/
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Silk sells single serving 90 calories vanilla almond milk that contains 45% of your daily calcium. I believe we could all benefit from that extra calcium in our diet. Take care! :)
[Tip] I don't know if you guys have recognized your own eating habits yet but...
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 113.6 | UGW: 102lbs | Peach: LobsterMacNCheese]
Created: Wed Aug 30 09:23:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wzurd/i_dont_know_if_you_guys_have_recognized_your_own/
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Bodies are internal clocks, especially with food. They say if you want to become a morning person, then the first thing you should do in the morning is eat so that the next day your body will wake you up expecting food.
Notice that when you eat food at the same time everyday your body will start to get hungry at that time. When you don't eat at that time, you'll likely experience intense hunger for a couple hours but IT WILL subside and you won't get hungry again until your next planned meal.
So for those of you stuck in a ravenous night eating cycle, this is likely why (not a professional, just been doing this a long time).
Also as a side note, this is also why it's SO IMPORTANT not to eat when you're not feeling hungry. Eating when you're not particularly hungry will almost always derail you.
IMO the best way to get out of a binge cycle is to fast for 16-24 hours to kick the carb and sugar cravings then to CAREFULLY plan your meals when you break your fast. I have usually done intermittent fasting (one meal a day at the same time) but found that small meals for breakfast lunch dinner and snacking are much more efficient (I guess that always eating ^does speed up your metabolism).
Just a tip I wanted to share with you guys, good luck!
[Help] What...goes on a salad and isn't a billion calories.
/u/beepitymeep
Created: Wed Aug 30 09:12:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wzs2s/whatgoes_on_a_salad_and_isnt_a_billion_calories/
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I went to make salad and legitimately did not know how to make one. I just put romaine, tomato and cucumber together but it's a pretty sad salad lmao. Any suggestions? Low cal of course
[Discussion] Saw this on r/art and thought of our group
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 30 08:33:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wzixd/saw_this_on_rart_and_thought_of_our_group/
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https://i.redd.it/agm8qahsyviz.jpg
[Other] Saw this on r/art and thought of us
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 30 08:31:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wzifr/saw_this_on_rart_and_thought_of_us/
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https://i.redd.it/whf7f4seyviz.jpg
[Other] Saw this on r/art and thought of us
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 30 08:30:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wzi5s/saw_this_on_rart_and_thought_of_us/
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https://i.redd.it/z3fkxwu6yviz.jpg
[Thinspo] Strangest thinspo/motivation ever? (Except actually not that interesting, sorry.) >_<
/u/Vio1et [155cm | 46kg | 19 | f]
Created: Wed Aug 30 08:28:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wzhu2/strangest_thinspomotivation_ever_except_actually/
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I'm about to sound like I'm 15 again so sorry in advance lol
On mobile plz flair as "discussion"
So.... there's this guy. He's new to a nearby town. And like the second I looked at him I thought "holy shit who is this dude." because his eyes though.
Tbh it took about .2 seconds of talking to him for me to become smitten with his personality. Truly it's his personality and not his looks that got me (for once.)
He's quirky, flirty, kind, optimistic, basically the antithesis of me. Idk I can't help but smile around him. He's super sweet (and seems to be at least somewhat into me O.o)
BUT HERE'S THE THING.
He.
Is.
Thin.
Like, he shops for girls pants, thin. He probably weighs 140 max.
I've never been "big" by social standards... But like. I need to lose 5-10lbs. Because I need to be noticeably smaller than this guy. I need to be Little, even when compared to him.
I want to ask him out but also I need to be thinner for that.
Has anyone else ever experienced this?? It's so weird yet so motivating fml. I've never had a crush on a super skinny dude help. 😭❤️
Anyway I hope your day rocks 💜
[Rant/Rave] Miserably sick
/u/tresliz [5"7 | [redacted] | [redacted] | ~30 lost | F]
Created: Wed Aug 30 08:11:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wze1c/miserably_sick/
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I've been suspecting a sinus infection for a few days. Yeah... it's definitely.
I went to the ER last night because my purging was making my throat bleed and I freaked out. Today I can't tell if it's just still sore or if I've caught something on top of the infection.
On the bright side, I'm taking this as an opportunity to liquid fast
\o/ anyone else sick
[Other] Binge hell
/u/the-absinthe-fairy
Created: Wed Aug 30 08:04:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wzchl/binge_hell/
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My landlord is selling the rental we live in, so my husband and I moved into my mom's spare bedroom for the next couple months. My mom is a hoarder and her house is full of food. Every time she goes grocery shopping she buys a bag of chips and a box of cookies, even though there are 3 unopened bags of chips and 5 untouched boxes of cookies at home. She is constantly over-filling the cupboards and fridge and freezer with sugary cereals, prepackaged cakes, frozen meals, Hot Pockets, Poptarts, Chips Ahoy!, Oreos, tubs of frosting, ranch dressing, Sun Chips, microwave popcorn, Tostitos, cashews... I could go on, but you get the idea.
It's really no wonder that I was a fat kid. My mom never cooked and just kept the house stocked with shit, and I had a pretty big binging problem. I moved out 7 years ago and am at a healthy weight now, but we haven't even been at my mom's house for a week yet and I am falling into my old bad habits. My husband and I spent the weekend going through and throwing away the expired things, but there's still an overwhelming amount of food in the house. I've never had to exercise this type of willpower before and I'm really struggling.
My mom hoards other things besides food, so I've been spending my evenings after work cleaning and sorting through junk to distract myself but it's really hard to resist the literal piles of binge food that's everywhere. I'm not really looking for advice, I know the only answer is to stay focused and in control of the food. I just wanted to vent somewhere I know people will understand. I don't even like these foods but the urge to binge is so strong. It sucks. Anyway thanks for reading.
[Rant/Rave] Feeling frustrated and conflicted
/u/kaliolis [5'4 | CW: 51.1 KG | GW: 40 KG |19.4 | WL: 18.9 KG | F]
Created: Wed Aug 30 07:41:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wz7cz/feeling_frustrated_and_conflicted/
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Before I tell the main story, I want you guys to know that after months and months of not telling my friends about my eating disorder, I decided and told myself fuck it why not maybe things will go a lot easier now since a load of weight will be put off my shoulders, which in a way did make me feel a lot more comfortable hanging out with my friends.
Buuuuuut, yesterday me and a these two friends decided to go out to town and they decided to eat in this burger and steak restaurant. I honestly didn't mind because I didn't want to make them feel like they couldn't eat anything in front me so I just sat there with nothing in front of me except for iced water and just talked to them.
What started to bother me was when they started talking about calories, MyFitnessPal, counting obsessively and that's when my mind just started to panic. I was starting to feel so uncomfortably and frankly shitty because they were eating all these greasy, disgusting burgers and still talk about calories and being healthy and shit like that and that frustrated me so much because I know that it's unfair to be mad at them when they're ignorant and uneducated about how to deal with people with eating disorders?? Then things got worse when one of my friends called herself overweight when she clearly isn't and how she wants to be anorexic skinny. I reassured her that she is perfectly fine the way she is right now and somehow started to feel like I can't go out with my friends anymore since I know that my ED mind is going to feel like everything is going to be competitive from now on and I don't want things to feel that way. I also feel like that now I've told them everything about my eating disorder made them glamourise and romanticise it and it fucking sucks because I obviously don't want them to end up like me.
Now I'm constantly looking at the fucking mirror as well as going on my weighing scales more often because all I'm thinking about is how fat I am and how I have to compete to be the skinniest in our friendship group.
Fucking ED logic.
[Rant/Rave] Well.. I'm back
/u/thinkthinlythrowaway [5'1.5 on a good day | CW 129.0 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 30 06:47:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wywh8/well_im_back/
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I just weighed myself....
and I gained 12 pounds since moving to Austin. So that won't do anymore.
I remember when before when I thought I was still too big
This is what I get
I knew better
God fucking damn it.
So anyways. Hello all. I'm a complete fuck up and back to where I started. And I've put myself in a position where I'm going to have to be SUPER careful and totally not seem like I've gone back to how I was before.
Yay me.
Not eating anything besides dinner today
/u/aun19ueusername
Created: Wed Aug 30 06:24:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wyrtr/not_eating_anything_besides_dinner_today/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE binge in public places?
/u/swagcat9000 [5'5" | 131 lbs | 21.8 | -37 | M |]
Created: Wed Aug 30 06:19:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wyqy2/dae_binge_in_public_places/
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And if so, where?
My favorite spot is the front porch of my local Target, it's nice to watch the sunrise.
The only problem is that there's a lot of old people that hang out around there... this morning, an old lady walked by staring at me while I was werewolfing my donut 😂
(discussion flair please)
[Help] HELP. Especially older/married folks. Husband calling me anorexic.
/u/randyguptill [5'7.5" | CW 135.4 | GW 123 | 20.48 | complicated |]
Created: Wed Aug 30 06:19:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wyquz/help_especially_oldermarried_folks_husband/
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My husband and I have had very serious marriage issues for a very long time. (Married since 1999, 3 kids.) He has been verbally and emotionally abusive. He has been to therapy trying to be fix things, and it was kind of helping, then I found out about a long-term (3 year) emotional affair at the end of June. He told himself it was ok because he did not touch her. But he loved her, guys, and he cared for her in all those little ways a lover wants to be cared for. He was tender and thoughtful to her, anticipated her needs, went out of his way to smooth her path, all at my expense.
He broke it off with her completely but I have lost my goddamn mind. She is so skinny and beautiful.
We are in very hard counseling sessions. He's really understanding how abusive he has been for the first time.
He's finally really noticed that I am not eating, after asking me about it a few times before. Yesterday he asked me if I am anorexic now, and I asked him not to push it since I just had a breakdown over the weekend. I have no desire to eat and when I eat I feel nauseated and barf it up. He "cheered me up" and then I ate a little bit, maybe 500 cals, which was it for a 36 hr period. I have been only eating in front of him to make sure I "get credit" for it. I have lost 25 pounds this summer, I have never looked like this.
I am still in normal weight range but I have never been underweight before so why the fuck not. I need him to back off. I need you guys to tell me what to say that makes him back off.
PLEASE do not tell me what to do in my marriage and how I need to leave. Can you just help me with this specific issue- making him not push me to eat. He knows it's because he abused me. I cannot give up restricting right now. It is the lifeboat I caught when my boat was wrecked by learning about his behavior. I have no friends. I just got a therapist and I have not told her.
I have to be away from reddit today but will check back tonight. Please be kind. I am in a low, low place. I was on antidepressants for many years and I really don't want to take them again.
He is good at computers and has tracked my shit down before so I will delete this after a few days.
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 30, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Aug 30 06:12:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wypiq/daily_food_diary_august_30_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 30, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday August 30, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Aug 30 06:11:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wypbe/way_to_go_wednesday_august_30_2017/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for August 30, 2017.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Discussion] August 30th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [27F | 5'5 | 125 lb | 21.05 | GW 110 | UGW 105 ]
Created: Wed Aug 30 05:32:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wyi7w/august_30th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What's your simplest pleasure?
[Help] Joining a gym... tips??
/u/fatbatch
Created: Wed Aug 30 03:38:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wy1hb/joining_a_gym_tips/
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Hi guys. So I'm joining a gym on 11 Sept with my friend, after being too scared to go for ages in case people laughed at me and my size :/
What exercises at the gym will make me lose the most?? I already walk during the week. I will be going for an hour five times a week.
Can anyone help? Thanks!!!
[Rant/Rave] I tried to recover and now everything is fucked.
/u/Space-Punk [5'11" | -83lbs | M]
Created: Wed Aug 30 03:04:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wxwx1/i_tried_to_recover_and_now_everything_is_fucked/
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At this weird place right now where I want to be healthy and do what’s right for my mind body and spirit but I also still feel disgusting and fat and want to go back to my old ways just so I can get to where I want to be a little faster than I would on a normal “diet.”
And I don’t feel like I can talk about it on my tumblr anymore because I changed the whole thing when I decided to recover and gave it to friends and made it public on my socials. So even my safe private space where I could talk about what I want to do is like, corrupted now.
I’m so fucking pissed at myself I don’t know why I thought I could be different.
[Rant/Rave] Fasted for over forty-five hours
/u/petite-insolite [Height: 164cm | CW: 56.7kg | GW: 48kg]
Created: Wed Aug 30 02:37:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wxtby/fasted_for_over_fortyfive_hours/
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And what do I immediately do? Eat a whole bunch and make myself feel like shit. I spent an hour crying in front of the mirror and doing jumping jacks and squats just to make myself feel better. I still weigh less than the start of the week but I can't help but be so mad at myself.
I hate how this disorder makes me act. While my boyfriend was happy I ate two crumpets and dinner. All I wanted to do was to tear my stomach out. I can't eat normally anymore. I'm only happy when I'm not eating but not eating makes me feel sick.
I wish today could be over already.
[Rant/Rave] Can't sleep. Just a few notes here.
/u/littlebirdbones [5'4" | 150.4 | 25.8 | not enough | F | GW: 110]
Created: Wed Aug 30 02:33:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wxss2/cant_sleep_just_a_few_notes_here/
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[removed]
[Help] Insatiably ravenous during period, anybody else?
/u/iloveitosusumu [5'9" | CW166 | GW120 | BMI24.07 | 19F]
Created: Wed Aug 30 02:25:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wxrqk/insatiably_ravenous_during_period_anybody_else/
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So I'm fighting a losing battle these past few days with constant eating, and it all started with my period. I'm always thinking about my next meal, and I eat upwards of 3000 calories every day. I don't think it has ever been this bad because I feel like I'm legitimately starving between binge meals, and having done week-long water fasts I don't use that word lightly. I can't stop eating, I can't get back into a fast. As I'm typing this I'm so full that my stomach is spilling into my throat every few seconds.
I can only think that this is because of my period, because this all started the day I started spotting. I can't remember if this has been the case before, my memory is very very poor. Does this happen to any other people here? Did it stop when you stopped bleeding? For those who don't get their period, did it stop this impulse entirely?
[Rant/Rave] Boyfriends mom is going on vacation!
/u/CandidTriceratops [ 5'5'' | 208.8 | 34.8 | -17lbs | M]
Created: Wed Aug 30 00:51:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wxfhx/boyfriends_mom_is_going_on_vacation/
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I live with my boyfriend and his mom has moved in as well because of health problems. It's usually a good time except we eat dinner together every night and I can't escape it unless she is out of the house. They both know about my ED but she is the only one who forces me to eat. I am allowed to cook my own meals though so I restrict all day and then eat a 400-600 calorie dinner which looks like "a lot" of food to her because it's all vegetables and fruit.
Starting tomorrow she is going to house/dog sit for a whole week and I am going to fast probably 4-5 days of it. Then 2 weeks from now she is leaving for another week and I will fast again. I'm so excited; my goal is to get into the 100s this week!
[Other] This helps me talk myself out of purging
/u/thirdocean
Created: Wed Aug 30 00:27:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wxc34/this_helps_me_talk_myself_out_of_purging/
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https://i.redd.it/4kr4m7pzjtiz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Argh what is wrong with people
/u/Arkhamgel [5'8| | 143 | 15 | Male]
Created: Tue Aug 29 23:47:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wx6ay/argh_what_is_wrong_with_people/
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Lately I've been doing fuckall at home and outside, never going out with my friends and never waking up before 11am, not taking my meds etc... This shit means I'm depressed. And when I get depressed, I don't talk about it. I just crawl back into my tiny troll cave and await death. K, that's just a thing that I do.
My parents, missing the huge fact that I FUCKING TOLD THEM I WAS GETTING DEPRESSED AGAIN, which has never fucking happened before, continuously yell at me for doing nothing.
I am useless. I can't go out I've gained too much weight. I spend my day on the computer cause I don't wanna think about my life, I spend the little remaining time in my bed sleeping because I don't want to eat either. AM I JUST BEING LAZY, FATHER ?? REALLY ? DIDN'T MISS THERAPIST TELL YOU TWO WHAT CLINICAL DEPRESSION IS ??
[Help] How do you guys prevent night binging? :c
/u/fatandignored
Created: Tue Aug 29 23:09:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wx0fu/how_do_you_guys_prevent_night_binging_c/
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Really old throwaway now since my friends figured out my actual reddit username. :(
I have such a hard time with this some days. I'll have a perfect day where I'm right at my calorie limit or a little under and then the cravings/the want to eat eVERYTHING AROUND ME just suddenly hits me!! aaaaand I end up eating like 3000-4000 calories in like 30 mins lol. I always struggled with binge eating and then restricting but its >:( even worse now that school started.
It's like... I try so hard and then end up ruining everything I worked for.
I feel so sick and full right now AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA why am i like this i had such a good day going
[Intro] Hey y'all
/u/adenrules
Created: Tue Aug 29 23:09:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wx0cz/hey_yall/
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I've been lurking for a while now, figured I should probably finally do an intro. I'm 20 and spend most of my time making music and doing drugs. I've got a demo almost done that I'm very excited to release. I've had big body image and self harm issues for as long as I can remember, and they eventually culminated in me starving myself for the entirety of 2015. After I got on zyprexa and started drinking heavily I blew wayyy up and it's really been messing with me, but I'm losing the weight right now and my progress has been a huge confidence boost. I'd like to figure out how to eat healthily some day, it's one of my main goals in life. I can either eat everything or nothing at all, I have no middle ground. Anyways, y'all seem pretty cool and it'd be nice to get to know some of you.
[Rant/Rave] "My daughter used to look like you." [TW]
/u/Violets11 [170cm | CW: Land Whale | GW: 50KG | F | -6KG]
Created: Tue Aug 29 22:51:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wwxgc/my_daughter_used_to_look_like_you_tw/
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So at work, just about half an hour ago, we had a guy finish his appointment. He looks at me and says;
"I'm sorry if I'm being forward, but my daughter used to look like you. She started taking [prescribed weight loss injection drug] and now she's happier than ever! I'll give you the name of it, you should totally do it" :D He proceeds to *call* his daughter in front of me, find the name, and tell me about how beautiful she looked at her wedding because she was half her size from a year ago. By the by, I was my highest weight at my wedding this year.
Aaaannnddd now I just want to purge everything in me and cry in the corner for the next five hours. Thanks to re-affirming that I'm a whale that needs stimulants to function. Time to go buy some lax this weekend! \o/
Another grocery haul... I have a problem lol
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 29 22:45:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wwwge/another_grocery_haul_i_have_a_problem_lol/
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https://i.redd.it/n4pekyor1tiz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Honestly like wtf me?
/u/tacehtelle [5"7 | 119.5 | 18.65 :( | 6.5 lbs :( | Female]
Created: Tue Aug 29 22:24:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wwt50/honestly_like_wtf_me/
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I have been really stressed out the past week because I am starting high school (started today) so i've been eating like CRAZY. Like so many granola bars ffs, but now that i've started I cant stop. Why?? I feel like i'm torturing myself, my mind screams skinny but my heart screams granola bar....5 of them in one sitting. :( I don't know what i'm doing anymore.
[Help] Tips to help swollen cheeks from purging?
/u/hi_there_im_nicole [5'11 | 145 | 19.5 | GW 135 | -59 | 21F]
Created: Tue Aug 29 22:11:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wwqsm/tips_to_help_swollen_cheeks_from_purging/
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I usually never purge, but it's been a rough few weeks and so I've b/p a few times. My parotid glands are pretty swollen now, and they've never done that before so I have no idea if there's any way I can help it. I'm doing my best to not purge anymore and I think I'll be able to stop (at least for a long time).
Anyone have any tips to help the make the swelling go away faster? Also, any ideas as to how long it'll take to go away? My face looks pretty ridiculous right now so any advice would be super helpful.
Thanks everyone!
[Rant/Rave] "Wow, you got fat."
/u/NotYourAverageTomBoy
Created: Tue Aug 29 21:47:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wwmno/wow_you_got_fat/
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I used to work with a lot of people at the airport that are from exotic places, but a lot of them are from Afghanistan. I don't know if it's a culture thing or what, but whenever I see them they all say this.
My sister asked me the other day, "Are you depressed because you're fat?" I had to explain how I'm fat because I'm depressed.
I was always big, and my biggest was at 360 lbs at 5'1. But I got down to 115 lbs about 5 years ago. Then my depression hit me hard.
I hate myself. My bff once asked me, "Aren't you embarrassed to go to the store and see the same people watch you buy candy?" I told him, "Remember that scene in Avengers after the Hulk is constantly asked how he's able to not be angry and he says, "The secret is, I'm always angry."? Well, I'm always embarrassed, be it at home by myself or in public, really makes no difference."
No energy mentally to do anything anymore.
Seems like that each day that goes by I am losing interest in things I used to enjoy. What happens when it's all gone and I don't enjoy anything?
[Rant/Rave] Sex partner said awful things (complaints)
/u/bagofhair666 [Height 5'3" | CW 120 | GW 105 | GenderF]
Created: Tue Aug 29 21:11:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wwfx5/sex_partner_said_awful_things_complaints/
---
UGH so last night I finally slept with a man I had been seeing since before I recovered and subsequently porked up. (I was 105 lbs when we met six months ago and am now about 120 on a good day)
He knows I had a problem and still made comments.
-He asked me about my gaining weight so quickly
-Said I was womanly and curvy
-Told me that I look healthy (I actually look very plump and out of shape)
I feel like such a pig and like he was just patting himself on the back for stomaching my fat body. I regret letting him touch me. These comments were just like so triggering, maybe even enough to get me to stop gorging myself constantly.
[Help] Problem question: When you go out for NY pizza with a friend and dab all the oil off and then take off all the cheese subtly - how many calories did you save?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 29 20:52:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wwc6g/problem_question_when_you_go_out_for_ny_pizza/
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https://i.redd.it/t1cmddojhsiz.jpg
Trouble sleeping
/u/eugibar
Created: Tue Aug 29 20:04:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ww2q4/trouble_sleeping/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Story time?
/u/LittleBlackHeart8 [5'7" | cw:120 | gw:110 | 19.7 | -31lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 29 19:53:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ww0m7/story_time/
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So I've been having a lot of crazy food dreams lately, especially since I've been on a restriction cycle for like a week.
Anyways, last night I dreamt that I was in my house and for whatever reason I had been cooking like a bunch of chicken parm, spaghetti tacos, and I just kept cooking weird shit that didn't even seem like
food in a giant pot. It was weird. Except for the chicken parm, that was delicious.
What are some weird foods dreams you've had?
[Rant/Rave] I just need to vent.
/u/rainbowraptor16
Created: Tue Aug 29 19:35:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wvwvr/i_just_need_to_vent/
---
I binged and purged. I stopped. I ate "normally." Then I started eating out of boredom on my days off. Then I emotionally started eating. I deleted my reddit ed account and stopped going to pro ed websites. All in one month. Now it's almost the end of the month. I am almost positive I didn't have a period this month and that it was supposed to already happen but didn't. It didn't happen due to stress and just fucking up my body from over eating/ under eating. I lost the one friend I had this month. I have no one to talk to about anything. I am truly alone. I need to lose weight. Again. 10 pounds in 1 month, if not more. I absolutely loathe that pumpkin flavored everything is here, october/november/december are the absolute worst for me with my ED. I just want to fast for so fucking long. I am a cashier at a grocery store and my god is that hard to do while fasting, being hungry, ringing up food.. fuck. I am just a mess. There is no hope for me. I am alone. I always will be. I always stop talking to people for one reason or another, or better, they stop talking to me, because they are smart and know better. Fuck.
Stats: 27, 135 lbs, 5ft 6.5inches. Bleh. Kik is CattsLand. No I don't have Peach or any other apps.
Fuck it. Gonna vent some more.
I drank more beer today than I have all month. Which actually isn't much. And I mainly just sipped, I never had a pint myself. I add this because every sip was calories. More and more calories to the 2,000 I already ate. I didn't stop eating today until 10pm. 10 fucking pm. When did I start eating today? I don't know. 9am? I lost the one friend this month that I've had since April. I thought we were good, everything was fine, I kinda thought we were more than friends, then he tells me he has a girlfriend. We haven't talked since. We work at the same place. Yup. I got period cravings but my period never came. How great is that?? (I sarcastically ask). I want to eat as little as possible every day but still sleep 7-9 hours and not be hangry all the time at work. Possible? Nope. I am hopeless. Unmotivated. Just gaining weight. I eat if food is anywhere near me. I eat if the slightest thing goes wrong. Or right. Or if I'm bored.
I am alone. I am alone. I am alone. I am alone. I am alone. I am alone. I am alone. I will always be alone and deep down it's better that way for every one. I don't want it to be that way but that's how it is and I need to finally accept that.
[Discussion] Anyone here smoke mj?
/u/kittyleaf
Created: Tue Aug 29 19:02:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wvpzw/anyone_here_smoke_mj/
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So I smoke every day, I'm a chronic pain patient. List of medical issues. I need to find a way to control my binges. I'm back on restricting mode because purging doesn't get rid of everything as y'all know. For those of you that smoke, how do you control it? The past week I binged 2x and need to find a solution :(
Anyone here smoke mj?
/u/kittyleaf
Created: Tue Aug 29 19:01:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wvpub/anyone_here_smoke_mj/
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[removed]
[Other] [Other] need to vent
/u/athrwoaway123
Created: Tue Aug 29 18:52:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wvny3/other_need_to_vent/
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I just need to vent.
I was trying to recover over the last year and gained 40 fucking lbs in the process. It's like I have two modes: Restrict or binge. I was trying so hard to follow the food plan too. WTF.
Two months ago, I decided to go back to my old ways because I was so miserable about gaining so much weight. So I did and the weight has been falling off :). Then I went on vacation with my family last week and actually ate like a normal person. I don't know why or how, but it was actually really nice to just eat food that tasted good without bingeing or restricting. And I was actually happy which is something I almost forgot was possible. Now I'm back from vacation and trying to restrict again but I feel so torn which is making it so much harder. I was so happy during vacation, why would I choose to make myself so miserable again now that I'm back? But of course, the allure of losing weight is too strong and I feel like I need to go back to that even if it makes me unhappy :(.
Also: A few months ago, I started taking Adderal for ADD. The psychiatrist didn't seem worried about my food issues, probably because I was overweight from "recovering". At first, I was trying to follow the food plan and it was such a headtrip because the pills made it so easy not to eat, but I was trying so hard to be good and "recovered" or whatever. Then when I gave in to restricting again, damn did those little pills help. Before I went on vacation, I was taking them every other day (I was scared if I took them every day, the appetite suppressing effect would wear off. I have no idea if this is true or not). Now I am back from vacation and haven't started taking them again. I'm just so aware that I have only been taking them to help with restriction. I actually think that they may hurt my work performance because I become too focused and end up wasting time on tasks that are not important. So I feel so torn about what to do. I know that I will give in and start taking them again, but it is so depressing to feel compelled to do things that are not good for me.
I also am really worried what will happen when I see the psychiatrist again in October. My best self wants me to tell her that these drugs enable unhealthy habits and aren't even that helpful with my work. But the other part of me wants to just see what she says. Actually, part of why I was okay with eating more during vacation, was that I was hoping that slowing down my weight loss would make it less likely for her to cut off my supply. I'm 30 by the way. I feel way too old for this shit.
And also: My friends are going out for ice cream tonight and I made up an excuse so I wouldn't have to go. Which sucks because I'm so lonely. But, in the past, I always would go but just drink water and say that I had changed my mind about ordering something. But one of my friends called me out on that last time so now I feel like I need to order icecream. But it really sucks to waste calories on food I don't even want. And then I debate just telling that friend to lay off, but I don't really want to do that either. I think she would even be understanding if I told her about my food issues, but I feel like such a poser because my eating disorder is not too bad. It feels like I'm making it up, so why tell anyone? But at the same time, I know that it's at least somewhat real because why else would I be so miserable and tripped up about all of this.
TLDR: Fuck.
[Other] i've been being a lot more open about having an ed lately, anyone else?
/u/mystoryisquiteusual [5'7'' | 108.7lbs | 17.0 bmi | laugh or cry]
Created: Tue Aug 29 18:17:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wvgop/ive_been_being_a_lot_more_open_about_having_an_ed/
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It's weird, like it's half because I just don't care anymore and half because I know that eds thrive in secrecy and I want to combat this. But at the beginning of spring quarter, I told somebody in one of my classes during a get-to-know-you activity that I was bulimic (this isn't my official diagnosis, but at the time I was b/ping heavily and that was sorta how I identified my ed as being at the time). Just a few days ago this military recruiter was talking to me on campus and I was really impatient and just needed to study and was like. . . "Okay, I can't join because I'm diagnosed with anorexia." *Which I am, though it's an old diagnosis I've read up on it and you can't join the military with that under your belt.
Right now I'm really considering adding one of my closest rl friends on Reddit because. . . Why not. I think if more people closer to me knew and took the time to understand, it could be beneficial to me. Idk. I'm pretty transparent anyway, I think. I did two huge assignments during my freshman year of college about eating disorders and talked about it a lot on social media and stuff, and I'm always sharing NEDA stuff on Facebook. So I think a lot of people might suspect anyway, but if they're given confirmation, maybe they'll make an effort to be less triggering/more hospitable.
I know that a lot of us go through this in complete isolation, but can anyone relate to this at all?
[Rant/Rave] W h y am I not losing? ;-;
/u/throwthisshitaway612 [Height: 5'6 | CW: 98 lbs | BMI: fat cow | Female]
Created: Tue Aug 29 17:12:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wv2vd/w_h_y_am_i_not_losing/
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I've been restricting at below 1000 for the past... week or so? IDK exactly how long, but about a week. Most of the days I got under 900. My BMR is 1450, why am I not losing weight? Sure, I might not be shitting, but I surely should be losing *some* weight from the deficit. What the fuck, scale?
[Help] Water weight be gone!
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Tue Aug 29 17:12:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wv2tc/water_weight_be_gone/
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[removed]
[Tip] Only 2.6 calories per can 😍😍😍
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Tue Aug 29 16:52:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wuyez/only_26_calories_per_can/
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https://imgur.com/ZnxDib2
[Discussion] What did your parents do, intentionally or not, to push you on this path?
/u/awayawaydown [6'0" | 132 | 17.2 | 125 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 29 16:47:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wux8p/what_did_your_parents_do_intentionally_or_not_to/
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Even with the best intentions, sometimes our parents really screw us up.
I was always freaky skinny as a kid. But my mom was on a diet as long as I remember, and was always careful and worried about us gaining weight since it had made her so unhappy to weigh more than she wanted. So even as a growing teen active in sports, she would send me with low-calorie and diet foods to school. So I learned to value thinness and to be hungry.
I don't blame her - she only wanted me not to be unhappy with my weight and to suffer the stigma of fatness, and I was lucky that I had someone who loved me enough to get up early to pack lunches for me and make me tea in the morning (sweetened with Splenda and almond milk of course).
It's weird. I don't feel like she did me wrong, but I can't say I would be here if things had been different. Complicated.
[Tip] [Question] I have a prescription for 10mg amphetamine. One pill makes me sleepy, 1 1/1 does nothing, and 2 is ok, but doesn't last long. What should I take to better help me with my food cravings?
/u/NotYourAverageTomBoy
Created: Tue Aug 29 16:43:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wuw7m/question_i_have_a_prescription_for_10mg/
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[removed]
[Help] Vacation Overload!
/u/CrazyCat08 [5'6" | CW: 98 | BMI 15.8 | GW 90lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 29 16:24:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wus1d/vacation_overload/
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Hey everyone, I'm looking for some upcoming vacation advice!
I've been doing pretty well with restricting my calories lately, especially after a god awful 4 day binge cycle I had almost 2 weeks ago that I'm still recovering from. I'm still 5lbs from my pre-binge weight and it's falling off so slowly. I'm concerned it won't be back down to that weight before I leave in 12 days
So in 1.5 weeks I'll be going on a 5 day/4 night vacation with my boyfriend. Once we return I'll be home for a mere 4 days before I leave again for another 5 day vacation to the beach with my family (boyfriend won't be going due to limited pto). My question is, what's the best way to approach this? He likes to go out to eat when on vacation and gets agitated at me if I don't eat some fun foods with him. We are going to a location that is known for famous fudge shops, and I know he'll expect me to indulge with him, as well as eat at restaurants he wants to visit. I do well when I'm not eating bad, but once I start it's like the flood gates open. Im worried about coming home from that trip and being extremely bloated only to be forced into swimwear on my next trip 4 days later
What would you guys do? We will be doing lots of nature activities, but not enough to offset the crap food he wants to eat. I don't want him to be angry at me, but I also don't want to feel disgusting in front of him. I'm also worried about the beach trip and losing control and having to come home to my boyfriend seeing how gross I got (we live together). I'm honestly freaking out about all of this. Vacations should be fun and a time to unwind, but I honestly feel incredibly nervous more than anything. I'd almost rather be working than deal with trips!
Any and all advice is appreciated.
[Rant/Rave] Not hungry anymore because
/u/coffeexsmokes [5'2" | 100 | -50 | 21F]
Created: Tue Aug 29 16:23:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wursm/not_hungry_anymore_because/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Huge clothing goal
/u/agentcherrycola
Created: Tue Aug 29 16:04:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wunch/huge_clothing_goal/
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I’ve posted here before recently about how I’ve gained about 5-6lbs and not been able to lose any of it despite always being under 1500 (usually under 1000) and fasting for 18h every day. I still can’t see any improvement in myself or on the scale buuuut I did fit into size 25 jeans today!! And I didn’t just fit into them, they fitted me best at that size too!! I’m 138lbs and 5’11” so to fit something that size feels like a huge achievement. I started off in a 32 and 24/5 was always my ultimate end goal. This is definitely making up for this horrible plateau
[Discussion] Best calorie burning work outs?
/u/lilbbrose
Created: Tue Aug 29 15:54:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wukz4/best_calorie_burning_work_outs/
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I typically do the recumbent bike at the gym but I only burn like 150 cal from 35 minutes of it. What machines burn more calories faster?
Can't fair this cuz I'm on mobile
[Goal] 💪🏾No food until dinner tonight
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 29 15:39:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wuhlw/no_food_until_dinner_tonight/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Post run mixed feelings
/u/kickkkasss [5'5 | CW:134 | GW:110 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 29 15:37:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wuh52/post_run_mixed_feelings/
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One of my favorite things to do after I run is weigh myself because I'm always at a lower weight because of all the sweating lol. It's really encouraging and makes me feel really good to see the lower number.
But when I look in the mirror after a run I always look bloated as fuck. I seriously look like I ate a huge meal my stomach gets so bloated. Does this happen to anyone else? And does anyone know why this happens?
Somewhat healthy grocery haul
/u/fleahi
Created: Tue Aug 29 14:39:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wu331/somewhat_healthy_grocery_haul/
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https://youtu.be/KNZPEgqM7m8
[Discussion] Where my dudes at?
/u/gradsquests
Created: Tue Aug 29 14:35:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wu221/where_my_dudes_at/
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I always feels offbeat into this (mix of thin/fit aspirstions) as a male
Also this is a great and amazing community, tumblr doesnt have shit on this little safe haven awesome space
[Other] Harm reduction in therapy
/u/elliotte-mckinnon [23F |5'6|CW:160|BMI 25|GW: 135|UGW: 110|-205lbs]
Created: Tue Aug 29 13:53:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wtrtr/harm_reduction_in_therapy/
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Alrighty, so here goes. I've been seeing my therapist for about a year now, she's a trauma specialist with a Ph.D. from Harvard and 10+ years experience. I absolutely love her. She's helped a lot with my CPTSD and other things but she doesn't primarily deal with eating disorders. I'm totally cool with that. I left my 12th? and final (lol maybe not final but) round of ED treatment May 2016 and started with her for therapy around Oct 2016. Obviously being in and out of treatment so much for my ED in years prior, we've talked about it, but not to a real real extent. The only real thing I've gotten from her is that the ED is not my sole diagnosis, that it's more of a symptom of my other mental health stuff. Whatever. When I first came to see her, it was more about combating some serious depression and CPTSD symptoms, which, have really improved and I definitely needed that at the time.
Today in session, she commented that my weight appears to have gone down a bit in the last few weeks (I haven't been weighing myself WHICH IS KILLING ME but telling by my clothes and caloric intake I know I've probably lost around 15ish poundsishhh, don't want to be too optimistic with numbers, I'm buying a fresh scale soon because I quite literally smashed my previous one. )
I kind of danced around it at first. Then the question of how much I'm eating comes up. Stupidly, I blurted out that I haven't had a day over 1200 calories in the last three weeks. Her eyes kind of bulge. How do you know that? Because I track everything...Then we went down the rabbit hole. I just went off.
Yeah I mean I know my BMR is just under 1600 and my TDEE is around 2500 so I'm already eating at a deficit that will put me at around 1.5 pounds loss a week at minimum, I'm not really trying to lose weight though (lies) I'm not restricting (feels true), 800-1000 calories a day can stretch really far and I feel full (these feel so true to me) and I make sure I get my proteins, that's like pretty healthy considering...insert more ED bullshit logic here and word vomiting anxiety.
She basically called me the fuck out. She said that I really need to try to do at least 1200 a day every day this week, I really need to try. If I feel like I can't do more, fine, but I need to try. She said right now I'm circling the drain. We need to start at least harm reduction.
ummmmmm no, lady. like I'm not even restricting like that though. how can we reduce harm when there isn't harm yet like 1200 IS SO MUCH. I was looking to ramp it up this week and make 1000 my upper limit and 800 be a good day. Then 800 be the high and 600 be the low. THAT'S restriction like amirite
Then she added, I don't want us to be talking about Alcott in a few months. ALCOTT?!?! ALCOTT LIKE ARE YOU SERIOUS? (Alcott is the Medical ED unit that you go to when you're basically dying and need a tube, I only had to go twice but that was ENOUGH for me) like that's hilarious to me that she would think it possible for me to be Alcott sick in just a few months. like, come on my guy. (not going to lie, I do like a challenge :P)
ugh, I am so ambivalent. like on the one hand I know I'm going to get out of control and I know I could choose right now to stop, but like nahhhh tho. there's just this parent voice in my head all condescending like well alright, but that's the choice you're making. to which my ED very teenager-like responds YUP GUESS IT IS.
So is that it? Am I recommitted? I guess no answer is an answer in itself.
[Help] I'm actually on the brink of a real recovery attempt and I've basically cried all day.
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 101.0 | 17.9 | F 🍍]
Created: Tue Aug 29 13:43:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wtpg7/im_actually_on_the_brink_of_a_real_recovery/
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I've been with a general therapist the past month in my half attempt at recovery, and she's lovely, but only wants to focus on me and my feelings, while particularly avoiding weight and food talk. and it's just not doing it for me, I feel like I'm ignoring my problems instead of facing them.
so today I went to the NEDA website. I looked up dieticians and eating disorders treatment centers near me. I signed up for the NEDA navigators, asked for more help in finding places near me, and sent an inquiry to the treatment center near me. now I'm waiting for three replies and just crying on and off, for about four hours now. my face is so fucked. I don't even know what I'm supposed to do. I'm so tired of this.
I just want someone to tell where what I need and where to start. where do people go when they want to recovery? do you ask your primary care doctor? just admit yourself to a program somewhere? I don't even know. I don't know what I need. I just need someone to tell me where to start so I can be led from there. I'm so desperately stressed and anxious from this and I don't know where else to ask. please
[Discussion] Tell me about the last time you swerved a binge or temptation
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 113.6 | UGW: 102lbs | Peach: LobsterMacNCheese]
Created: Tue Aug 29 13:31:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wtmm4/tell_me_about_the_last_time_you_swerved_a_binge/
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I don't think avoiding binges gets enough credit. It is so incredibly difficult to say "no" especially when you've been caught in a binge cycle or just on that one track mind gunning for that one food, you know what I'm talking about.
I wanna hear about the last time you were able to resist temptation and how. Give yourself an opportunity to pat yourself on the back about it!
[Other] DAE use their pets as exercise equipment?
/u/andareavante
Created: Tue Aug 29 12:46:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wtb5c/dae_use_their_pets_as_exercise_equipment/
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Aside from the obvious taking out for walks and what have you, I've started squatting my 40lb puppy to add a little more resistance and whatnot. Definitely works as a good exercise lol.
Does anyone else do this or am I just that weird and desperate?
[Help] Fffffffff meeeeeeeeee - calories, recovery, mental discomfort and physical discomfort.
/u/skinnyhero [5' 4" | CW: 164.9 | 31.5% BF | -27.1 | NB/F]
Created: Tue Aug 29 12:32:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wt7wp/fffffffff_meeeeeeeeee_calories_recovery_mental/
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Okay so. I've been doing really well. Like I got out of my b/p cycle and have been healthily dieting for a while. I've also been doing keto so I liked the rules for it and it gave me an acceptable can/cannot.
But then as I get closer to my goal weight it makes me realize I'll have to start eating more soon and that terrifies me.
And then today happened. Today was day 4 of an egg fast and all hell broke loose. I brought what was supposed to be a full day of food - 1200 calories in little quiches and cheesecakes. I ate it all by 10:30 am. Fffffffuck me.
And by 2 I was hungry again??? Wtf. So I had soup. And a piece of chocolate. And I'm at 1750 which is still below maintenance and I'm like fucking spiraling? My stomach hurts so much and I hate it. I don't actually want to purge but my body feels like trash.
God. I guess I was "okay" as long as I was dieting and still haven't gotten to whatever core issue is causing my disordered feelings about food and my body.
Edit: wow I haven't been here in a while. That flare is so out of date. I was 149 this morning. And 147.5 a few days ago.
[Discussion] Re-evaluating goal weight [discussion]
/u/dontcareifithurts__ [5'4.5 | 111.2 | - 10.0 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 29 11:56:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wsym7/reevaluating_goal_weight_discussion/
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Well, I'm a pound away from reaching goal weight number one. (Gotta update my flair)
It's not good enough. I'm happy with the changes I can see so far but it's just not enough.
I feel like I just look "normal person skinny" and not skinny how I want, you know?
Like on the weekly selfie thread here I wanted to post a pic of my progress but then I was kind of like... well, no. My hips are still massive.
How do you all feel when you reach your goal weight? Have you reached a weight you were happy with at a previous time, but now it's not good enough anymore?
I want to lower my goal by about 5 more pounds... I think.
Nobody tells me I'm too skinny yet or bats an eye when I say I've lost 10 pounds, even though I'm underweight by BMI standards.
*frustrating*
[Rant/Rave] Yay, I'm validated!
/u/cats_is_cats [62" | CW 228 | 46 BMI | 202 lbs Lost | F vegan]
Created: Tue Aug 29 11:39:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wsufj/yay_im_validated/
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I said that I think I have an eating disorder and my therapist was like, "I'm so glad to hear you say that. It's clear to me that you do!"
Which is... nice, I guess, because it validates what I've been thinking all this time. And what's better is that she won't push me to, you know... fix it. Because eff that, I need to lose way more weight. It's fine if I'm restricting like crazy. I feel like I'm good at it, kind of. And it's fine if I work out until I get dizzy and the room spins. That's what it takes.
And she doesn't know that I don't want to be a "normal" weight. I mean, it's not like you can get to 130 pounds and be just fine with it. If you're putting in all this work anyway why not go for underweight? My hair has been falling out all over the place anyway.
[Thinspo] Gotta love Alice Glass <3
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Tue Aug 29 11:38:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wsu9j/gotta_love_alice_glass_3/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=it6esju-_X0
[Intro] I don't see a lot of dudes on here, so here's my intro
/u/10299201
Created: Tue Aug 29 11:38:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wsu3r/i_dont_see_a_lot_of_dudes_on_here_so_heres_my/
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Hi y'all. I've got some serious issues with my eating and body image. This is prolly gonna be a wall of text.
I'm on my third day of fasting. The longest I've gone is four days before I start feeling too dizzy and my parents get too worried and make me eat. I wanna go a lot longer this time. I'm going back to college soon so I'll probably be able to go longer since I'll be away from the house. I told my friend about it and he says that he's worried about my health. Tbh, I don't really care about my health. I just want to not be fat.
My friends say I'm not fat. They say I just look pretty built and strong. This worries me a lot sometimes, I'm scared that when I lose weight I'll just look scrawny instead of fat. I don't know which is worse. I probably have a good bit of muscle since I can lift a decent amount but every time I look into the mirror I see a disgusting fat blob. Moobs, love handles, the whole nine yards.
I've felt like this as long as I can remember. Back in middle school and the first half of high school, I used to wear a huge fluffy coat in the middle of July to hide my body.
Needless to say, I never even talked to girls. In the second month of college I was about to hook up with a girl but I pulled out at the last moment. I couldn't believe that she wasn't grossed out by my disgusting body. Especially since she was fit. I don't know if any of you guys can relate to this, but I simultaneously want an SO and don't. I want someone to say "you're not fat, you're attractive and fine just the way you are", but at the same time I don't want them to see my body.
So yeah, that's me. Congrats if any of you made it through this wall of texts.
How would one go about finding a motivational fit/thin coach/buddy?
/u/gradsquests
Created: Tue Aug 29 11:18:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wspc5/how_would_one_go_about_finding_a_motivational/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] DAE sometimes feel extremely clear-headed after a binge?
/u/nopenopenpoenope
Created: Tue Aug 29 10:55:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wsjji/dae_sometimes_feel_extremely_clearheaded_after_a/
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I liken my binges to taking hallucinogens. Sometimes you get a really, really bad trip, but sometimes... sometimes it feels amazing, almost life-changing. Until you come back to reality, of course.
I find that if I binge on 2000-4000 calories, I often feel like utter shit. I become riddled by self-hatred and want nothing more than to eradicate every inch of my existence, vowing that I'll never eat again (being weak, I always change my mind pretty soon after lol). However, there's a weird range between maybe 4000-6000 which, if I *don't* purge (this is key), is accompanied by self-hatred for a few hours that transforms into this amazing feeling.
After a few hours, I start to feel fucking fantastic. It is sort of like being high, a little... or maybe it's not? Maybe this is how I'm supposed to feel when my brain isn't malfunctioning due to the effects of prolonged starvation. Earlier this week I was trying to convince myself that if I ate a sandwich at 6 p.m. instead of 11 I wouldn't lose my mind and go on a binging frenzy. Still, I couldn't manage to make myself finish the sandwich because it wasn't at a "safe" time. I was literally trembling with anxiety and spent the next two hours hating myself for being so "fat" and "disgusting" for having eaten barely 150 calories, just because the execution of the "event" (eating should not be an event) felt greedy. Right now? After binging on thousands of calories of candy bars, I decided, hey, I'm hungry! So I went into the kitchen, made myself a sandwich for 200 calories and ate it, and it seemed so inconsequential... so normal. It was a damn good sandwich.
Is it really a binge high? Am I wired on sugar, or is this how I'm supposed to feel when I'm functioning properly? Sometimes when I'm on binge high, I cry as if to mourn myself. I feel like I did when I was a teenager who struggled with an on-again off-again type of EDNOS that wasn't so severe. I had thoughts, ideas, and feelings then that weren't related to my food and exercise goals. Yes, there were some problems, but I had ambitions and ideas. I wasn't a neurotic mess. Now I'm a functioning adult with the body of a nine year old. It's reprehensible and I need to grow the fuck up. Any BDD is completely gone right now, and I feel only angry with myself for what I've done to myself.
The worst part? I'll wake up tomorrow and feel upset for having had "real" thoughts today, for letting myself entertain the idea that there could be something else besides my eating disorder. That anything else could matter. I'll start restricting again and within a couple days or weeks I'll stop binging for a few months, get my weight back to 34 kg, and swear I'll maintain this time. Then I'll binge back up to 38 and do it all again and again. I can't believe this shit.
I'm sad. That's all I am. I am so sad to be able to see with clear eyes right now how my life is completely devoid of anything except my desire to lose weight, because... because tonight it isn't, and tonight I feel like a real person. But tomorrow I'll just see today as an inconvenience, another barrier to my goals. Ha. Me right now is frustrated with me tomorrow, just as me tomorrow will be frustrated with me right now.
Eating disorders fucking SUCK. Fuck! I love the opportunity "binge highs" sometimes give me to see myself and my behavior objectively, but other times I feel ignorance is bliss. What I could have been, what I never could have been. What I am and won't be.
Yes, I'm sad.
[Rant/Rave] |Rave? Idk| TFW you accidentally lose two pounds in two days
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |110.8 | -109.2 | GW: 110 | UGW:105 | 20A]
Created: Tue Aug 29 10:49:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wsi4t/rave_idk_tfw_you_accidentally_lose_two_pounds_in/
---
Just because your body isn't hoarding poop. God bless Triphala 🙌🏻
if you're having some gut issues I definitely recommend seeking it out, it's a natural supplement, not a lax, and it doesn't hurt at all besides some tummy gurgles throughout the day, but that's how you know it's working!
[Help] Tonight my housemate tried to kill himself.
/u/LaDiscotheque [5'7.5 | 135 | 20.7| F]
Created: Tue Aug 29 10:28:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wscwh/tonight_my_housemate_tried_to_kill_himself/
---
We called an ambulance. Spent 5 hours in ER trying to see what was happening. How he was doing. What was going to happen next.
They wanted to discharge him tonight, send him back to the house he shares with us, people that get along with him but wouldn't really be called best friends. Like, wtf? He just took a mixed assortment of all the pain meds and muscle relaxants he's been stashing for the last few months, and you want to send him back home with people who have NO experience in dealing with suicidal people??
That. Is. Fucked.
He's probably getting released tomorrow. He has no super close friends here, isn't in touch with his one sibling, and hasn't talked to his parents in decades due to them being steaming piles of human garbage.
I don't know what the point of this post is. Have any of you been a situation like this, on either side? I just don't know what to do or how to help when he gets let out. Kinda mentally & emotionally fucked right now.
[Goal] Help keep me motivated for a 100 hour fast!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 29 10:08:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ws84u/help_keep_me_motivated_for_a_100_hour_fast/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] as much as i love low cal solutions
/u/bellexy [5'8 |GW 118 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 29 10:01:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ws6e0/as_much_as_i_love_low_cal_solutions/
---
fuck walden farms
(tbh the sun-dried tomato vinaigrette is pretty okay, i use it sometimes, but i just tried the 1000 island and i want to cut my tongue out of my mouth it's so bad)
tell me bout yr walden farms disasters and mild successes (bc i can't imagine any of them are going to be huge successes tbh)
[Rant/Rave] I had a wisdom tooth pulled out today!! :)
/u/yesyeshihello [5'2" | CW: 103 | BMI: 19 | 27F]
Created: Tue Aug 29 09:33:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wrzop/i_had_a_wisdom_tooth_pulled_out_today/
---
Only an eating disorder could make this a happy occasion.
It hurts like hell, don't get me wrong. It was infected so now I'm on antibiotics, and apparently it was massive for my tiny bone structure so it was very difficult to get out and I'm super sore.
But NOWWW, I have the most perfect excuse to pass out on pretty much all food.
I skipped work, and since I'm staying at my parents house I can just stay in bed all day. My mom even got me a fashion magazine. I feel like I'm 15 again, ahah.
Best (and worst) day ever.
[Rant/Rave] Using other people's negative opinions of me is the best diet pill 🙂
/u/sororityengineering
Created: Tue Aug 29 09:06:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wrt02/using_other_peoples_negative_opinions_of_me_is/
---
Sometimes I go in loops in my own head (yay for anxiety am I right?!) so sometimes I feel good about myself but I literally self destruct when anyone criticizes me. It's been this way for me since grade school where if my mom had seen a B on a fucking PROGRESS REPORT in fucking 6th grade it was like the end of the world so I would just hate myself enough to do better.
Anyways I went on a emotional rampage yesterday but many guys were extremely supportive and even told me they would go and eat with me because I have an anxiety of eating alone. Some we're even very sweet and told me that they had ex girlfriends with ED's and we're sympathetic and knew EXACTLY how I felt.
But with that I also did get several messages of hate mail, that they knew which girl I was on GoneWild and they told me I was too fat for GoneWild, that I would never get skinny enough. That I should go to the gym like her and that it was a good thing I stopped eating and that I should stuff my mouth with their dick instead. Last night this guy was like "well you're attractive but I would never have sex with you" and I probably took it the wrong way but I'm going to see every guy on the street now and think that's what he thinks of me.
I have like 250 messages still to go through but I'm okay with all the hate mail I'm getting because this enough to get me through the week and remind myself how much of a fucking failure I am as a human being ultimately getting to me closer to where I need to be in life: perfect and skinny.
And by the way girls... you don't understand how many men are out there that are into girls with ED's and even with ED fetishes. I had one guy that lived by me that offered to lock me up and make me starve and use me until I got skinny. That some guys get off to mental illness, like slut shaming me[like this](https://imgur.com/a/nKL1d). I don't know fuck is it weird that I'm okay with all this.
[Discussion] Guys, what is your favorite appetite suppressant?
/u/timetofadeaway [5'2 | CW scaredlikeamouse | LW 91 | GW1 110 | UGW 90 | F21]
Created: Tue Aug 29 08:56:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wrqlw/guys_what_is_your_favorite_appetite_suppressant/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Today is my first day as a TRUE vegetarian
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 29 08:43:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wrnse/today_is_my_first_day_as_a_true_vegetarian/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Got a whoosh on my birthday!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 29 08:37:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wrmdd/got_a_whoosh_on_my_birthday/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] I'm having PB&J tonight!
/u/skinnifat [5'4" | CW: 132 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 29 08:18:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wribn/im_having_pbj_tonight/
---
Obviously PB2 for the peanut butter but are there any safe jelly/jam/preserves options out there??
Should I just use a few strawberries?
I totally sound crazy right now 😂 SOS
[Rant/Rave] Registered for university mental health services
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 190lb | M]
Created: Tue Aug 29 07:47:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wrbk0/registered_for_university_mental_health_services/
---
I know I'll regret indicating my ED on the pre-diagnosis form, but I did it anyway. I want to be thin, not sick--maybe there's a way to do the first without the second.
I'd also like to get back in my body lmao I feel like I've been disassociated for weeks, and it's wearing me down. It would irritate younger me beyond belief if I made it to college only to kill myself, so right now I'm focused on getting beyond that urge.
Progress, friends.
[Discussion] Half ass "recovery"
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Tue Aug 29 07:46:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wrbcz/half_ass_recovery/
---
My goal last week was to actively eat 3500 calories over maintenance to break this stupid cycle and prove to myself that nothing bad happens if you indulge on vacation like a normal damn human. Meh, too much fear. Then I decided I'm exhausted by this and I'll do half and that's ok, so I did. I guess that's good, my therapist was elated that I forced it last night and allowed myself to enjoy more food but hmm enjoyment has left now I'm pissed at myself, feel fatter than ever, I just want to exercise even more but I'm so exhausted. Is there an end to this? I know I gained nothing by eating 2000 calories I've but how do you get that thought out of your head and not let it ruin everything? I laid in bed all morning just so mad at myself. Now I feel like I can't enjoy my weekend away next week for the holiday. Am I alone in this madness? No one gets it. Everyone else in my life is just so happy for me eating more.
[Other] Question about local coffee
/u/High_as_red [5'4 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 29 07:40:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wra3b/question_about_local_coffee/
---
[removed]
[Help] Im headed home this weekend and I need all the advice...
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~56lb | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Tue Aug 29 07:20:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wr623/im_headed_home_this_weekend_and_i_need_all_the/
---
So Im going back to my parents place for labor day weekend after a about three weeks of being back in college. I've lost 12lbs, which isnt much but my mom already complains about how skinny I am (not!!!). How do i hide the loss?
Also I know they are going to be stuffing me full all weekend... what is the best way to roundaboutly not eat as much? 😣 I rely on not having any substantial amount of food in order to restrict...
[Tip] Is it really better to eat in the morning?
/u/Nicole744
Created: Tue Aug 29 07:16:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wr5by/is_it_really_better_to_eat_in_the_morning/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] The worst thing about relapse is knowing what it was like to be recovered
/u/literheature
Created: Tue Aug 29 06:32:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wqwtg/the_worst_thing_about_relapse_is_knowing_what_it/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Fast question!
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 19bmi | -140 | 30F | AU]
Created: Tue Aug 29 06:16:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wqtrp/fast_question/
---
When you fast, which I frequently do, do you count the hours you slept before? When do you count when you "start" I've used various times so I was just curious!
Also if you're a faster you HAVE to get the app Zero!
[Sticky] Self-care and Beauty Q+A August 29, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Aug 29 06:10:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wqss4/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_august_29_2017/
---
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Self-care and beauty threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 29, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Aug 29 06:10:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wqsr5/daily_food_diary_august_29_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 29, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Tip] How to break a fast?
/u/itscirclejerky [5'5 | CW: repulsive| 22.29 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 29 05:59:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wqqlc/how_to_break_a_fast/
---
I know you're supposed to eat like you have a stomach virus but I don't know what that means I'm supposed to eat.
Google just says bananas, rice, applesauce and toast but I'm not touching that stuff with a ten foot pole. I don't have any broth or crackers but there are a few instant soups.
I was thinking that porridge wouldn't be too bad as long as I didn't add any fruits.
What are the 'avoid at all costs' foods? How long are you supposed to wait before you can eat regular foods?
[Rant/Rave] Stuck! Can't purge. Hate this.
/u/ibizadaydreams [5'1 | CW120 | 22.7 | GW95| F]
Created: Tue Aug 29 05:51:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wqpa1/stuck_cant_purge_hate_this/
---
So I think I'm on Day 6 or 7 of recovery from my tonsillectomy surgery. My weight loss has stopped since I've been able to take in more than just water. I wasn't expecting the weight to just stay the same and I hate it.
I think it's been the past three days I can eat about once a day and I have mostly broth from chicken noodle soup. A pudding cup since it taste absolutely amazing and its sooo soothing. I tried going to a frozen yogurt place last night to get some probiotics into my gut but the boring flavor I picked was so nasty I couldn't finish it.
I was so upset with myself last night for having both the pudding cup and the frozen yogurt. I couldn't puke it up though because that would kill...and my laxatives are not working at all. The narcotics I'm on have completely stopped my bowel movements. I haven't pooped since the morning of the surgery. I'm having a hard time with not being able to purge in any way at all, even for exercising.
So I guess today will be an only water day. I should make it only water days until the laxatives start working.
I was doing so good! Finally below 120 but my goal for these two weeks off work is to get below 115! That would be so perfect. Ugh.
[Discussion] August 29th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [27F | 5'5 | 125 lb | 21.05 | GW 110 | UGW 105 ]
Created: Tue Aug 29 05:45:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wqo6s/august_29th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What did you have for dinner?
I got approximately 20 kinds of ramen (all of the vegan ones) from an Asian/international grocery store and am making my way through them, marking if I like them or not. So I had one of those and a pound of broccoli. And I liked that one! (Indo Mie Mi Goreng Instant Fries Noodles, that one actually doesn't have broth. And that's all I had yesterday! Pretty proud of myself. 600 cal total for the day.
[Help] Myfitnesspal weight loss notifications might alarm my cousin now that she is active on mfp... but the notifications really motivate me, so not sure what to do?
/u/liliannereid [170 cm | CW: 65.2 kg | SW: 78.1 kg | UGW: 58.5-60.5 kg | 25F]
Created: Tue Aug 29 04:45:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wqezk/myfitnesspal_weight_loss_notifications_might/
---
So I have two active friends on myfitnesspal - one dude I don't know who seems to just add random people and my cousin - who is absolutely beautiful and seems to lose weight effortlessly. She is now losing weight after her last pregnancy.
Since I got out of my binge period I've been losing weight drastically fast over the past few days, and it always pops up on my news feed since I have a wifi scale. Like:
"3 days ago: lost 0.8 kg since last weighing in! Liliannereid's lost 11.9 kg so far."
"Yesterday: lost 0.5 kg since last weighing in! Liliannereid's lost 12 kg so far."
"36 minutes ago: lost 0.9 kg since last weighing in! Liliannereid's lost 12.9 kg so far."
As you can see it could look bad to someone who loses weight "healthily". There is a way to shut the notifications off but the thing is it's such a huge motivator to me... I weigh myself every morning after going to the bathroom and then I go on myfitnesspal to see how good it looks on the newsfeed, and then I feel motivated to continue so that I can reach my UGW. But it feels a bit attention seeking at this point...
There is no way to keep the weight loss updates but just choose who sees them, is there?
Binging problem
/u/albb223
Created: Tue Aug 29 03:05:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wq0xo/binging_problem/
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[removed]
[Help] How to avoid refeed syndrome?
/u/none_intended
Created: Tue Aug 29 02:38:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wpxav/how_to_avoid_refeed_syndrome/
---
Hey guys I'm getting close to my GW of 108 now. The problem is I have a trip (two weeks) coming up exactly when I'll hit that number. I know I won't be able to control myself around my friends and family, plus there's so many things I want to taste overseas. I'm trying my best to fork out a week at least so I can adjust going back to maintenance calories, but is that enough?
How badly will I be affected (get bloated) if I go right back to eating normal-ish portions?
Could this be the start of the yo-yo cycle? What are your experiences and how do you maintain?
Edit: left out sentence
[Rant/Rave] Last time I tell someone about my BED.
/u/-RainbowSeeker-
Created: Tue Aug 29 02:36:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wpx4k/last_time_i_tell_someone_about_my_bed/
---
http://i.imgur.com/YCuVgjX.png
[Help] Help with hiding the crazy??
/u/naughtynugget [5' 3" | CW 120 | 21.3 | GW 110 | UGW 100 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 29 01:14:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wpmg0/help_with_hiding_the_crazy/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Zero Self Control
/u/sadbean17
Created: Tue Aug 29 01:13:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wpmbu/zero_self_control/
---
[removed]
[Other] I don't deserve to be alive
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 29 00:26:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wpg0s/i_dont_deserve_to_be_alive/
---
[deleted]
[Goal] Stretch mark reduction - something I'm super worried about
/u/TertiaryWings [5'1"| 🐳 | UGW:120 | -15 | 26F]
Created: Tue Aug 29 00:25:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wpfwz/stretch_mark_reduction_something_im_super_worried/
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https://i.redd.it/si25aqwqemiz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I got HFMD [rave]
/u/rebirthmark [5'3" | CW: 40.5kg | BMI: 16.01 | -8kg | F]
Created: Tue Aug 29 00:21:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wpfcm/i_got_hfmd_rave/
---
I got an HFMD infection from my sister and I have several bumps in my mouth that make it painful to eat. My other symptoms are quite mild.
My ED brain thinks this is the opposite of a problem :D it's never been easier to stay away from eating! Have any of you found some diseases likewise convenient?
[Discussion] Going out with friends
/u/smange719
Created: Tue Aug 29 00:13:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wpe8k/going_out_with_friends/
---
I just noticed that I feel the most pressure to eat when I'm out with friends, and hence I have the least control over what I eat! I hate it so much but I don't want to just end up always flaking on my friends and become more of a hermit than I already am. Do you guys feel this? And what do you do when you're out with friends? Any help would be appreciated.
[Discussion] DAE eat condiments?
/u/atelierreverie [5'5" | CW: 148 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 28 23:03:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wp3n0/dae_eat_condiments/
---
Salty craving? Oh, time for a swig of soy sauce!
Sweet craving? Oh, time for a swig of honey!
Special shoutout to Italian dressing as well. And A1 sauce. Anything vinegar-y. Unf~ 😘
[Discussion] Does anybody else do this?
/u/-alostgirl- [5'6" | 111 | GW 98 | 14f]
Created: Mon Aug 28 22:29:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6woxta/does_anybody_else_do_this/
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Sounds ridiculously cliche and tumblrish ik, but after a binge I always write shit like "fatass" "disgusting" on the fat on my stomach. I feel like it helps me not binge again at least for awhile, just knowing that it's there.
[Rant/Rave] SO told me I have "the cutest little waist"! :)))
/u/Proednc [177cm | CW 135 | BMI 19.10 | GW 120 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 28 22:26:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6woxei/so_told_me_i_have_the_cutest_little_waist/
---
Feeling so good from this compliment! Especially since I've been eating more than I want to be lately (going out to eat with people, summer drinking..).
Anyone have some good tips for getting back to a restricting routine after a few days of eating "normally"? I've been finding it so hard to get back to my normal eating routine once I've been out with people eating for the entire weekend.
[Discussion] [Discussion] I have particular bowls and utensils I eat with...
/u/JaneLane26
Created: Mon Aug 28 22:00:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wot4h/discussion_i_have_particular_bowls_and_utensils_i/
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And I have resorted to keeping them in my room when I moved into this new place 3 years ago. Because it irrationally irritates me when people use them without my permission. Like my food, I don't want my roommates using them unless I specifically allow them.
I have 3 bowls, of varying size from large, medium, small. I eat with chopsticks and a spoon with a long, slender handle and small spoon. I have a particular fork when I can't use chopsticks that has a long handle as well. In my mind, i believe the further my fingers are from my food, the less I gobble and I can pace my eating (although, that's never really the case bc I'm a friggin' pig).
Anybody else have particular plates/bowls/cups/utensils/etc. they eat with? Thoughts on why or why not?
[Rant/Rave] I hate lying to my friends.
/u/bpdandanahowfun
Created: Mon Aug 28 21:59:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6woswh/i_hate_lying_to_my_friends/
---
I'm in college and I just got back from summer break, during which I lost 40 pounds. I can't really tell a difference so I wasn't too worried about people noticing, but when one of my closest friends here saw me she commented on my weight loss and asked if she should be worried about me. I lied and told her I was fine, but I know I'm not and honestly I'm worried about me. I've been pushing it too far and I'm worried I'm going to end up starving myself to death.
I just wish that I could tell her and my other friends so that I could complain about my anorexia and get support when I need to, but I'm concerned they'd try to do something about it, which, while good-intentioned, is not what I need right now.
It sucks lying to them, and I know I need to stop doing this to myself, but I also know that if I try to recover I'll gain weight, and I just got new jeans lol. Since I've been back everyone, including my friends, has been telling me how good I look and people have been treating me better generally, and I don't want it to stop.
I'm also seeing my boyfriend who I'm in a LDR with in 2 months and I want to look as good as possible for him. He's super sweet and I know he would love me at any weight (otherwise I wouldn't be w him bc I'm over dating assholes) but that ironically fuels me to lose even more weight. I feel like he deserves the hottest version of me because he's so caring, and as a result I can't bring myself to eat.
I just feel really alone right now because nobody in my life knows about my ED, and I'm scaring myself because this is the worst it's ever been but I also can't stop. I have no one to talk to, but I figured that if I at least typed out my frustrations and fears they would seem more manageable, and maybe someone else could relate.
[Discussion] Bought a Diet Coke and two Quest bars at the grocery store today, and it gave me a coupon for $2 off Halo Top
/u/miacolette
Created: Mon Aug 28 21:22:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wom6e/bought_a_diet_coke_and_two_quest_bars_at_the/
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[removed]
[Help] Question to those who self-harm (cut) and exercise
/u/TertiaryWings [5'1"| 🐳 | UGW:120 | -15 | 26F]
Created: Mon Aug 28 20:44:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wof38/question_to_those_who_selfharm_cut_and_exercise/
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How do you keep the wounds from opening or getting irritated and sweat-drenched during your workout?
[Rant/Rave] Breaking a binge cycle finally and slightly struggling
/u/lavendersmoke [5'5" | CW 126 | GW 105 | -5 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 28 20:42:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6woeqa/breaking_a_binge_cycle_finally_and_slightly/
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I was doing well on high restriction for a few weeks when I ended up getting into a now week long binge cycle.
I decided that today I would get more strict about restricting and now I'm having a hard time deciding on what to eat. I got into fast food again and now I'm cutting myself off because I don't want to feel like shit anymore and potentially gain permanent weight.
So far I've had a bagel today and some small Japanese snacks. I was thinking of getting a Quest bar but then I remembered there's a sushi place around the corner that I love, however sushi can get really expensive. The Quest bar would be $4 anyway though so spending $12-16 on food with slightly better nutritional value might be better.
Casually having a mild anxiety attack about what to do. I was going to water fast but considering my calorie intake has been higher lately I think it'd be a bad thing to attempt.
Sorry for the random rant, I just have no one to bitch about this to.
[Thinspo] one of my favorite thinspo accounts on insta
/u/rukittenmerightnow
Created: Mon Aug 28 20:36:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wodmb/one_of_my_favorite_thinspo_accounts_on_insta/
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https://i.redd.it/vortawnt9liz.jpg
[Help] 10lbs in two weeks?
/u/JOP17 [151cm | 55.9kg | 25.94 | GW: 44kg | Female]
Created: Mon Aug 28 20:36:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wodji/10lbs_in_two_weeks/
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Hey, guys!
This could be a really dumb question. I'm not sure.
I was fasting for a while and doing well -- got down to 49kg which is pretty close to my goal weight.
Got my little heart broken AND hit by a car on the same day (lmao -- don't worry I'm all good but I think it's amusing) and... well... somehow a two-week-long binge has occurred. 🙈
Is it possible that I could really have gained 10lbs? Is it water weight? I HAVE been eating like crazy, but man. I just don't know. It's a little distressing to believe I have, but I'm planning another fast to get me back on track. It can be undone! But STILL.
[Rant/Rave] I've lost control RANT
/u/jesuiselvis
Created: Mon Aug 28 20:09:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wo8b6/ive_lost_control_rant/
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So I live in Houston and ever since hurricane Harvey hit on Saturday, my eating has been out of control! Most of it is boredom, because I cannot go anywhere and I've been so bored and drinking a lot and it's bad guys, real bad. In 3 days (Saturday, Sunday, and Monday) I have eaten the same amount I would eat in 2 weeks!!! The scales have gone up 4 pounds since Friday and it makes me depressed and I want to do something about it but all of my usual hunger outlets like caffeine and cigarettes are gone and I can't get to them due to flooding!!!! I don't know what to do and eating this mug makes me feel sick and gross but there is literally nothing else for me to do! And I feel bad because my problem is really small compared to some living in the area but this feels like the end of the world to me and I just feel so sick ugh!! Sorry for the rant y'all I just needed to vent!
[Rant/Rave] "You're so skinny, I'm afraid I'll break you"
/u/MidnightCrashes [5'1| CW: 88.2 |17.40| F]
Created: Mon Aug 28 20:01:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wo6r6/youre_so_skinny_im_afraid_ill_break_you/
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Uh, you guys, I think that's the best thing (in a twisted way) I've heard! Especially coming from the guy I'm interested in. He even said he worries about me.
It makes me feel a bit sad, because this poor guy is worrying about pathetic little me, I'm nowhere near skinny, and it makes me want to fast/restrict even more, but it feels like I'm high on cloud nine after hearing that sentence!
Idk, - this is the first time someone said that to me so I'm a bit giddy over it, lol. I get so jealous when I see other people saying how someone said that to them, and now I know what it finally feels like. Even if I don't believe it.
[Rant/Rave] I can't see myself
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Mon Aug 28 18:35:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wnp3o/i_cant_see_myself/
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Edit: my problems are stupid and I hate writing them. Ughhhhhhhh self hate is real!
So today I was sent a picture from a gathering and I looked at myself in it and I felt sick. I looked skeletal and disgusting. Is this how everyone else see's me. Why did I see it in these photos. In the mirror and my phone I see fat parts everywhere. But in other people's pictures I look horrid! I don't Believe any of these images to be real, how do I not see this in person, and why do I still want to lose? I want every bit of fat gone! Broke my 19 day purge free yesterday...wtf is wrong with me.
No one comments to me about my weight anymore and it makes me feel large... my boyfriend says I'm at the point where it would be too awkward for others to comment.
But I've been this weight give or take for years, why can I not lose more.......😔
My dad is worried and I feel I'm making him upset every time I see him. I hate to hurt people and make them worry especially someone so close to me.
I want so badly to know how others view my body...
[Help] Does anyone else feel Famished the day after a heavy binge?
/u/wombtrader
Created: Mon Aug 28 18:07:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wnj38/does_anyone_else_feel_famished_the_day_after_a/
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[removed]
[Goal] I can finally have the candy under my pillow
/u/pershon17707 [5' 6'' | CW: 96 |Female]
Created: Mon Aug 28 17:56:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wngub/i_can_finally_have_the_candy_under_my_pillow/
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I've been saving this one green sugar free life saver candy for the past 3 weeks, putting it under my pillow in the morning for a reward for future me later that day if I feel I deserve it. I've been sorta stuck in a binge cycle and this is only one of my ways to try to get me to control myself. So every night I sadly put it away and put it back underneath my pillow when I get up in the morning. But today I am back on track and tonight I FINALLY get to have it!!!!! sorry if this is weird but i'm way too exited
[Intro] Out of Lurking
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 28 17:13:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wn7vo/out_of_lurking/
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I've lurked here for months. I don't know if I'll post regularly. As cheesy as it sounds, this is the only place where people will understand what I'm experiencing.
TW for the following, just to be safe.
To condense a long, grueling story: last year, I was at my heaviest. I don't know what my exact weight was, but I was over 180 lbs. It sucked, and I hated it, and it took me an obscenely long time to actually do something about it.
I thought I'd quit after a day or two. If someone told me last winter that I'd weigh what I do now, I would have laughed so hard.
Turning point was when I got to 116. It was unreal. Like a gift being dangled in front of me. A reasonable person would have gone to maintenance. I wanted to see if I could get lower. I lost five pounds in a week. It was like I had a superpower; eat less, be less.
Now I'm in free-fall. When I have a fluctuation (totally normal, I know), 104 feels like the world is ending. 98 looks very appealing. I'm clawing my way toward 100. I suspect if I get there, I'll still be eyeing 98. The one frayed little thread stopping me is the knowledge that I'm already teetering on the edge of real, actual physical distress. Very late at night (I'm not sleeping much these days), I put my hand on my chest and quietly feel my heart fluttering.
Here I am.
[Discussion] I don't think restaurants understand how much food can mean to someone.
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Mon Aug 28 16:56:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wn4fb/i_dont_think_restaurants_understand_how_much_food/
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I frequently get takeout from my favorite restaurant - it delivers freshly made sandwiches, it has a calorie count *calculator* on its menu, and it has the option to get your sandwich ingredients wrapped in lettuce, nixing the bread altogether (making the lowest calorie "sandwich" less than 100 cals).
Of course sometimes they get the order not quite right, which is understandable (I've worked in food, I know how it is). But like... the food is my *escape*. They don't know how much it means to me. So, when they get the order wrong, it's a big downer. I'm afraid to complain, especially since I'm a regular customer. :(
DAE get what I mean?
[Rant/Rave] Mom talked to my boyfriend about my weight behind my back
/u/kasutaja2 [5'9'' | 21.6]
Created: Mon Aug 28 16:55:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wn446/mom_talked_to_my_boyfriend_about_my_weight_behind/
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Said that she's scared that I'm gaining weight and that he should get me to exercise more. I've been binging a lot this summer and I know I've gained 5 lbs but I'm hyper aware of my weight anyway and don't need anyone else fucking commenting on it or interfering. No real point to this post, I just can't stop thinking about it. I feel so gross and I want this fat off so badly :(
[Discussion] what's the worst tasting thing you've binged on?
/u/percussivesilence [5'7" | CW:180 | HW: 232 | | GW1: 175 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 28 16:33:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wmzf4/whats_the_worst_tasting_thing_youve_binged_on/
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so i just ate an entire box of berry pomegranate chia clif bars (does ANYONE even like this flavor??) and half of a day old taco bell beefy potato rito that i alternated dipped in spinach kale dip and sriracha @gordonramsey feel free to review
other notable mentions: freezer burned jimmy dean sausages microwaved for too long that squeaked when i ate bit into them
let me hear them plz i'm so excited
[Rant/Rave] I don't think I've ever felt my ED as strongly as today.
/u/Dietfuckingcoke [5ft4 | CW 118.8 lbs | BMI 20.3 | GW 112 lbs | 52.2 lbs lost | F]
Created: Mon Aug 28 16:16:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wmvke/i_dont_think_ive_ever_felt_my_ed_as_strongly_as/
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I'm crying in bed right now because my amazing best friend and flatmate wants to lose a few pounds and has bought lots of healthy food at the shop today... this is what I've become.
Context: She's been skinny her whole life but the past year or so has put on about 10 pounds. It's noticeable and I can see why she's unhappy also her diet is pretty unhealthy and she doesn't know anything about calories etc. She's talked about losing weight before but hasn't done it. Then today she bought Alpen bars in the shop and that pushed me over the edge. I EAT ALPEN BARS. They are my thing. They are only 66 calories. She eats much higher calorie snacks. I'm scared something is going to click for her and she'll be able to lose the weight easily. I'm a lot slimmer than her right now so I shouldn't be jealous (this year is the first time I've been the skinnier one in 13 years of friendship). It's not really even about me being skinnier though, it's about she'll probably just start eating better and lose the weight. Whilst I am going through hell with my ED. Not that I want her to go through hell but it's feels so unfair 😩. I've been trying to calculate in my head the calories of what she's eaten today and what she's packed for breakfast/lunch tomorrow (I make all our dinners so I know the calories in that) and it's actually really low. She's just done that intuitively... Not through calorie counting...
If she downloads MFP I'll kill myself 😂😂
It briefly crossed my mind I could sabotage her by cooking high calorie dinners and not eating anything the rest of the day but then I realised what a horrible, manipulative bitch I've let my ED make me. Some days I don't believe I really have an ED and I'm a fraud because my BMI is in the healthy range but today is one of those days where I really know it's there.
Can anyone else relate? I would never dare admits these feelings to anyone in real life.
[Rant/Rave] Im kidding myself lmao
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~56lb | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Mon Aug 28 15:29:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wmkg4/im_kidding_myself_lmao/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] About to go eat out with friends...
/u/coffeebean27
Created: Mon Aug 28 15:28:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wmk89/about_to_go_eat_out_with_friends/
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I don't feel hungry and I just found out a guy friend of mine will also be there which is making me less hungry and kinda nervous. He always comments about how I eat and am scared he knows.
I also look like trash since I was just cleaning and though "well it'll only be me and my friend so I don't need to dress up". I didn't shower and I probably smell of dust. Uhh this is just making my stomach hurt.
[Intro] GoneWild lurker saying hi, with minor aggressions
/u/sororityengineering
Created: Mon Aug 28 15:05:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wmel0/gonewild_lurker_saying_hi_with_minor_aggressions/
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So like the title says, I'm a Gonewild poster. I get told by men how tiny I am all the time but here and there I will get one guy who says I have a pot belly and I fucking lose it for days. I honestly don't know why I put myself through this mental rollercoaster, maybe it was to gain confidence about my body or I'm just a horny college student who can't trust men in real life.
I've struggled with my body for the longest time, probably since I was 5. My mom and my aunt (both very tiny Asian women) called me fat for most of my life, and it made me really delusional with how I really looked like. It was only until I got to college that I was able to get help. I've seen therapists, ED specialists, and dozen of doctors to get it stabilized. I'm currently in "recovery" for bulimia but ever so often I get triggered by stress or anxiety and I won't eat for days. It also keeps me from going on dates because I'm really intimidated that I'm not skinny enough and I would be embarrassed if a guy thought I wasn't pretty enough to be next to him.
I've been fixated by another GW poster that claims she goes to my school (>7% acceptance rate) which I certainly know she doesn't go to but I also don't want to call her out because she has more of a fanbase and don't want to be accused of witch hunting. I'm just mad because I worked so damn hard to get into this school and she's sexualizing women in engineering which is doing nothing to improve gender parity and existing sexual harassment issues in the industry... but I digress.
There was a guy I met through GoneWild (who PM'd me and found out we lived in the same city) and I really liked him and he told me that she was his favorite when we started talking. We stopped talking for other reasons and now I'm just fixated on the idea "if I was skinny or mentally stable like her, then maybe he would of kept talking to me". He told me that he loved my body but I don't know, I think he was just being nice.
I just want to cry because I hate recovery, I feel like I'm gaining weight from eating normal meals. I'm pretty sure the guy stopped talking to me because I'm not tiny like her. Any girl who's had an ex who was addicted to porn can kinda relate. It's like, you don't look like that, and you wish you did but in my position, if I get skinnier than her maybe I'll be good enough.
I haven't eaten since Friday, and I can't even think about food right now. Fuck ED's I swear to God.
[Rant/Rave] So there's this coworker. [Rant]
/u/Purpleblorpstop
Created: Mon Aug 28 15:04:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wmedr/so_theres_this_coworker_rant/
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She is all bones, flawless in fashion/makeup every shift. She is extremely kind, friendly, cool, and comfortable in herself. Even when not she is very easy to talk to...you want to be around her, look at her.
She is SO skinny. And what's more, she wears it casually. She always seems pretty energetic (not in any kind of manic way), and her level of natural tan-ness gives her skinny limbs this hint of athleticism. Normalcy. Just completely accidentally rather underweight...naturally skinny!
Even though I've been around for twice the amount of time she has, she's my supervisor now. She gets weekends off and only works during the day. It was mentioned when she first started working how she gets much bigger tips than the rest of us (the manager blatantly told her to work register because she's pretty). This is not to say she isn't wonderful at her job, and a hard worker. She's an all around great employee that I just wish, wish wish I were.
I feel so tiny (NOT physically, ha. Ha.). I feel so exhausted after every shift and often it seems totally useless, wasted. I cannot be anywhere near the level of easygoing, smooth and appealing that she is.
I wanted a supervisor position. I cared about the restaurant, once. I don't know if I ever deserved a higher position or not (I can be sloppy, socially awkward, a little slow and forgetful) but I can tell you that I once cared terribly about the place and put in a lot of opinions on structural changes.
For pride points, I wanted a supervisor position. Instead this newer, much better employee gracefully steps into that role.
And I feel so exhausted, on top of this. I've felt so tired there.
I want to leave because she reminds me of what I'm not. What I might have been in some regard, were I not addled with social anxiety, eating troubles, plain old laziness, depression, lacking energy levels.....
I can't see her face, her back bones any more. It makes me feel hungry and desperate, like I'll never get there and some people are just born more sociable, thinner, more approachable, more focused, more quick...more beautiful...
Anyone quit a job out of jealousy? How fucking crazy am I.
[Rant/Rave] Anybody else let general guidelines you hear affect you too much, even though you know that personally they don't apply to you?
/u/-alostgirl- [5'6" | 111 | GW 98 | 14f]
Created: Mon Aug 28 14:59:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wmdb6/anybody_else_let_general_guidelines_you_hear/
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I phrased that weirdly sorry
But I saw a post on r/Fatlogic and it was about a 12 year old girl who supposedly passed out eating 1200 calories a day for 2 days (lol). People naturally called bullshit and someone commented something like
> 1200 calories could even be healthy for a lot of teenage girls, like what they need to maintain.
I had a 1200 calorie binge today and am fasting until tomorrow. I know my personal TDEE is about 2000 but that (and I hate this word) triggered me sm. I feel like I'm going to maintain even though I'll end up 800 under my TDEE
[Help] Binge urges
/u/tidbit0118
Created: Mon Aug 28 14:03:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wlzk6/binge_urges/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] "Oh wow, you gained X lbs since you were here last!"
/u/aconnescaper [22.7 bmi | -15.8 lbs | 21 F]
Created: Mon Aug 28 14:01:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wlyyr/oh_wow_you_gained_x_lbs_since_you_were_here_last/
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To that nurse: FUCK YOU, MAN.
Why the FUCK was it necessary to pull up my weight chart from over the years when I'm not even an unhealthy weight and comment on it? We WEREN'T even in the scale room. This happened like 30 minutes after I got weighed. What the fuck possessed her to go in after the fact and look up my weight trends and then report my LW from a few years ago to me?!
(The last time I came here I was just starting recovery, and now I'm relapsing.)
🙄🙄
Are you shitting me? Was it so important? And when I was like "oh, uh, I guess" she was like "oh hahaha I guess we all have to grow one way or another!"
Like, did you just imply I grew *horizontally*?
S C R E A M
on an unrelated note why the fuck do they have to take a pregnancy test every fucking time, it isn't covered by insurance and it costs so f-ing much and I KEEP TELLING THEM I'M GAY and they just DO NOT give a shit.
I get that it's probably protocol but oh my FUCK.
AHHHHHHHHHHH
Mobile tag as rant please
[Discussion] What time of the day do you guys eat?
/u/Soybeansandsprouts [🍌5'5" | 116 | GW1: 110🍉]
Created: Mon Aug 28 14:01:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wlyyj/what_time_of_the_day_do_you_guys_eat/
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So I'm a full-time college student working two research positions and this semester, as always, I'm taking on way more than I can handle without having a breakdown every week. So far, I've had a surprising amount of energy throughout the day with only 1 thermos of coffee and ~500 calories.
I'll usually pack at least 1 meal (soup, sandwich, or salad) and 1 snack (fruit or veggies) and wait until 12+ hours after the last time I ate the day before to eat it. Then I will eat dinner at home, preferably before 6:00Pm. When I was working during the summer, I wouldn't eat until 12:00 or 1:00pm and the previous semester I would wait all day to save my calories for dinner, but I find that I pick at my food throughout the day now. Maybe I'll have something around 9:30 before class, then at 11:00 during class. I'm actually eating less calories this way and have been feeling more in control than I have in years!
So that's how I like to space my food. How do you guys do it?
[Rant/Rave] Social Anxiety and College Classes
/u/coffeejournalist
Created: Mon Aug 28 13:47:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wlvkw/social_anxiety_and_college_classes/
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I know most of us have many other mental health issues, mine being horrible social anxiety. Like to the point where I make sure I'm one of the first students in the classroom because I can't stand all eyes on me if I walk into a room full of people. I hate speaking or getting up in front of crowds. I get so nervous once I actually cried before a presentation.
Anyway, so I'm a Biology major and a Physics minor. Science is my JAM. I feel so at home in my science classes. Well I decided to take an astronomy course for fun because it seemed super interesting.
My professor is an amazing guy. He's funny, engaging, and has his doctorate in physics! I honestly know I will learn a lot from him. But there's only one problem, he jokes with everyone wayyyyy too much. Like I know he means no harm by it at all, but he just picks certain students and brings attention to them the entire lecture.
So today we were going over Newton's gravitational laws. Cool, I know this stuff. I love this stuff. This stuff is what I live for. Of course I'm just watching him lecture, not participating in the discussion because of my anxiety. But I completely understand it and I can list tons of examples to show my knowledge.
He decides to single me out and say, "oh look, we just lost coffeejournalist." "Coffeejournalist looks like she's ready to fall asleep." "Coffeejournalist needs to wake up and have some coffee."
I know he was playing around, and I honestly love the dude. But seriously, everyone kept giggling and turning around to look at me. I wanted so badly to tease him back or just say, "dude I understand everything that's going on," but I couldn't find my words.
Yayyyyy for anxiety making things a bigger deal than they really are 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
[Rant/Rave] I won't let my boyfriend touch me
/u/ilovehotdogsforever [5'6| ~145 | GW: 112 |24y/o | F]
Created: Mon Aug 28 13:06:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wlljq/i_wont_let_my_boyfriend_touch_me/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I disappeared down a BED rabbit hole and now I'm back
/u/Size666 [5'8F | Walrus | -48lbs | UGW: 118lbs]
Created: Mon Aug 28 12:52:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wli8y/i_disappeared_down_a_bed_rabbit_hole_and_now_im/
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I fell apart this summer. For many reasons but too many to explain now because it's all jammed up and confusing in my brain. I feel like a fool. I gained back 8 of the 15 I lost, which I guess is fine (read: NO IT ISN'T FINE I HATE MYSELF!!!), but the part that is shooting my anxiety through the roof is that I've been on an uncontrolled path of self destructive behavior since July ended. That's an entire month of heavy drinking, binge spending, blowing off work and (of course) eating like an animal. No control whatsoever. I haven't been able to fast. I haven't worked out. I haven't done any of the things I know I need to do to get to where I want to go and I'm ashamed of myself.
It's so tempting to point to my binge eating issues and say 'not my fault, look what I'm contending with!' but to do that would be to pretend that I wasn't involved. As though I weren't the one buying the food, eating it, making myself sick and eating more. And I just can't do that. It's my fault. I'm the one ruining my own life and I'm the only one who can fix it.
I guess no real point to this post. Just. I'm still here. I'm still trying.
appetite suppressants??
/u/hollyw97
Created: Mon Aug 28 12:18:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wl9r3/appetite_suppressants/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Getting complimented on weight loss is so freaking triggering in a good/bad way
/u/that-bitch-ed
Created: Mon Aug 28 12:13:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wl8gc/getting_complimented_on_weight_loss_is_so/
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So, not sure what to tag this, but I guess rant/rave is the most accurate.
Anywho, I had a major ED relapse over the summer and lost a lot of weight. I'm in university so I've not seen many of my classmates in a few months, and so with the first week of school starting back, seeing them for the first time since the end of last semester, their first comment upon seeing me is along the lines of "Wow! You look great! Did you lose weight?"
And on one hand, I love those comments. It makes me feel successful. And on the other hand, I hate the scrutiny and the fear of being outed and I feel guilty because I know I didn't do it in a healthy way.
Not sure if I have a question, just needing to get this off my mind. And seeking solidarity with others who've been in a similar situation.
[Rant/Rave] So damn relieved.
/u/idkjust [5'9" | 17.40 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 28 11:56:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wl44p/so_damn_relieved/
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For the past two or three months, I haven't been able to focus on my ED. I was being watched too closely, and my mother (whom I live with) must have caught on, because the scale disappeared from our house.
I assumed that I had gained ten pounds or so, but I just stepped on the scale at the doctors office fully dressed after a big meal- and I'm only up 4 pounds. I'm fucking ecstatic!!
The downside is that the doctor commented on my low weight last time I was here, months ago, and I said I was working on gaining. 😬😬😬 so she'll have something to say about that probably
[Other] Ladies with my stats, what do you maintain at?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 28 11:46:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wl1kq/ladies_with_my_stats_what_do_you_maintain_at/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] My plan for the day. What's yours? [TW?]
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64" | Fat Cunt | 22 BMI | -95 | GW 104 | UGW Invisible | F]
Created: Mon Aug 28 11:01:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wkq5f/my_plan_for_the_day_whats_yours_tw/
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[I'm sorry that all I ever do here is complain. Please tell me to go away if it's too much. Wouldn't be the first time.]
1. Wake up
2. Go Back to sleep
3. Wake up
4. Have panic attack about what I ate yesterday, phone calls I need to make today, and other facts of life
5. Make phone calls
6. Proceed to feel the ulcer in my stomach growing
7. Contemplate buying pizza or piles of Chinese-American food to dull the emotional pain
8. ...Even though you'll self-harm if you do
9. ...Even though your (probably) ulcer will get worse
10. Decide to get drunk first, then reassess the pizza situation
11. Realize that you lost the prescriptions you picked up at the store yesterday
12. Remember you're a worthless piece of shit that can't do anything right
13. Log into my regular Reddit account to find I've had a post removed on another subreddit that I rely on for support for one of my other medical deficits
14. The fact that I suck at life is reinforced
15. Sit paralyzed on your couch unable to decide between drinking yourself to death and eating yourself to death
16. Realize sitting paralyzed between choices is time spent not eating. The glass is half full.
I'm an optimist. See?
I'm a disgusting, fat, piece of shit, fuckup, disabled-but-not-disabled-enough waste of fucking space. And I have no one to talk to about it. Because if I AM honest I'll find myself locked up in some fucking "helpful" MI "recovery" ward again. There is no fucking recovery from my brain disorder. So why do they even fucking bother? It's to make money off of suffering. Even if their initial intents were to help, everything is about how much money you can take from other people in the end. How your "inclusive" services don't account for any fucking person with neurological issues like EFD , SPD, ASD, ADHD, etc. Probably because they know there's no fixing us. Weeds us out easily when we can't deal with the loud, bright environment. And no steps are taken to make it less hellish to those of us with brains that don't work right. So here I am, whining. Brave fucking face in real life. Quivering snotty fat let down of a human being IRL.
I will never be underweight
I will never be happy
I will never be healthy
I will never do anything but make peoples lives harder. The only thing I could possibly do to make their lives *more* difficult is suicide. So on the worst days, I stay alive somehow. For them. Even though I question their choice in companionship.
I'm sitting here, typing, crying.....I've been crying all morning. And the voice in my head tells me I'm a lying piece of shit that doesn't have any problems. I'm making everything up. I only fail because I don't try hard enough. I'll never be good enough.
My entire life will be spent chasing something that doesn't exist. The exhaustion is what will kill me in the end. Not anything else. So I'll continue to painfully sprint toward a ticking grenade as I remember that pizza can be ordered online. I don't even have to get up from my fucking couch.
I wish I could spit in my own face. Spitting on a mirror just means I have more cleaning to do.
I wish someone, at some point, ever, had taught me that I have worth. I don't think you can learn to have self-worth as an adult. I've been trying for 15 years. I hate myself. I don't know how to save myself from myself. The things I do to myself....I'd be in prison if I did them to another person. Featured on the news as the sick fuck of the week. But no, it's totally ok to do it to myself.
[Rant/Rave] Regardless of your feelings on Taylor Swift, can we agree that behavior like this from parents is infuriating and so sad?
/u/alphabeticaesthetic [5'5 | 114.8 | 19.1 | UGW 100 | 20F | 🍑: moodles]
Created: Mon Aug 28 10:32:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wkj5q/regardless_of_your_feelings_on_taylor_swift_can/
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https://i.redd.it/fu3dfkb6aiiz.jpg
[Discussion] Mentally exhausted
/u/coffeexsmokes
Created: Mon Aug 28 10:27:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wki05/mentally_exhausted/
---
To be clear: I am not asking for advice, or to be pushed in any direction. I just figured some of y'all would understand what I'm feeling.
And what I'm feeling is mentally fucking exhausted. And I'm exhausted because I am constantly going back and forth between restricting and recovery. I can't make up my mind. The slightest thing triggers me to go in one direction or reverse completely. All I want at this point is consistency within my own thinking.
[Help] Gained 9lbs in THREE DAYS. Feeling worthless...
/u/PizzaInMyUrethra [5'5" | CW: INSANE | GW1: 150 | 24F]
Created: Mon Aug 28 10:12:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wked6/gained_9lbs_in_three_days_feeling_worthless/
---
I was SO close to my first goal of 180. Yet today I'm 195.6lbs.
What. The. Fuck.
I've been bawling my eyes out all day. I'm supposed to be going on vacation in just over a week, I feel like I'm going to ruin the entire time by being too scared to come out of my room.
I don't understand what happened? I've restricted and purged, had one slip up but GOD wouldn't it have to be thousands and thousands and thousands of calories to make this happen?
Idk I'm just looking for reassurance I guess. I'm trying so hard to stay calm but it's scary that all my hard work has been undone so quickly.
Mobile flair: help
[Help] Liquid dieting?
/u/smange719
Created: Mon Aug 28 09:39:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wk6ac/liquid_dieting/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] 1 egg white only has 17 calories?!
/u/biscuitsisfluffy [5'4 | 11 st 1 | -10]
Created: Mon Aug 28 06:59:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wj7xr/1_egg_white_only_has_17_calories/
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Does anyone else really love egg whites? It's more or less pure protein, and only has 17 calories. I usually have 5 boiled egg whites if I'm really close to breaking point all for under 100 calories.
I know that's a lot of eggs but fuck man, I could eat for days if I let myself.
[Discussion] August 28th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [27F | 5'5 | 125 lb | 21.05 | GW 110 | UGW 105 ]
Created: Mon Aug 28 06:15:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wj02e/august_28th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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How would you describe your victory dance?
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! August 28, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Aug 28 06:14:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wizzg/weekly_stats_update_august_28_2017/
---
This is the weekly status thread for August 28, 2017.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 28, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Aug 28 06:14:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wizyq/daily_food_diary_august_28_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 28, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] Back at the weight I was before I fell into my last period of bingeing 😊
/u/liliannereid [170 cm | CW: 65.2 kg | SW: 78.1 kg | UGW: 58.5-60.5 kg | 25F]
Created: Mon Aug 28 05:26:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wis2h/back_at_the_weight_i_was_before_i_fell_into_my/
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I lost 10 kg in a month this summer in an intense period of restriction. I have a history of doing long periods of bingeing/restricting and I could feel the pressure to binge building up. It happened, I've been there for just over a month and was afraid I'd never gain control again but I am now officially back to my lowest recent weight and looking forward to the loss of the next weeks :-)
My clothes feel so loose and I don't feel worthless anymore. It's amazing how much a number on the scale can change. I'm probably not any thinner than I was yesterday but I feel like a whole different person. I just hope I can find some way to stop bingeing so I don't have to go through that again. (Yeah, I know, probably not going to happen while I'm restricting. I can't stop restricting because I just lose control anyway)
[Rant/Rave] Terrified
/u/___throwawayed [5'7" | 132 | 20.8 | -38 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 28 04:49:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wimkp/terrified/
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I thought I had myself under control. But it's like all I can focus on now is food, and whether or not I'm eating it, and how much weight I've lost, etc. I'm weighing myself at every opportunity I have. I'm being plagued by these god fucking awful nightmares again where I'm literally just binging and I wake up in a cold sweat because I thought it was real.
I'm terrified of eating food, and I'm terrified of my eating disorder wreaking havoc on my life. I have marching practice for four hours today and I've never done that much while substaining on nothing, but I can't physically bring myself to eat today :( :(
I just wish I was already bones and not fat fat fat. This is the lowest weight I've been at in years and I've never felt fatter. It's like there's this perpetual disgust settled into my soul.
[Rant/Rave] Getting tired of this :(
/u/happyplantlover [5'8 | CW:126lbs | GW: 112lbs | -15 lbs | F20]
Created: Mon Aug 28 04:15:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wihpn/getting_tired_of_this/
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I try to restrict as best I can everyday. I probably average around 700-1000 calories everyday, some days lower, some days higher. Today went really well, I literally only had salad with salsa as dressing and a few egg whites. (~400 cals MAX)
I worked out in the evening around 7 pm - 9 pm, cane home, drank water, did homework and went to bed.
And that brings me to where I am right now.
Fell asleep for about 3 hours then woke up utterly STARVING. I live in a sorority so I went downstairs, made some scrambled egg whites, ate some chickpeas, some black beans, some kiwis, I PICKED THE FUCKING DRIED STRAWBERRIES OUT OF SPECIAL K CEREAL, and i had some frozen mango.
Not the worst binge in the world, but it wouldn't have happened if my stomach hadn't woken me up with the awful noises :( Will this set me back? I recently weighed in at 121 finally :) Hoping to get down to 115 in no time!!
A possible solution I have is to not go to the gym for as long. Also, I might start a strict 2 vegan protein shakes a day diet this week. Just to stave off any extra hunger with the protein.
I need suggestions, I just want to keep losing :(
[Rant/Rave] I just want to eat a meal
/u/blerg1234567
Created: Mon Aug 28 03:36:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wicce/i_just_want_to_eat_a_meal/
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Just being a fucking failure as usual. Dropped 12lbs in the last month and hit a plateau. I maybe eat once a day, but am kind of "drunkorexic" so I still consume a decent amount of calories. I'm tired of feeling like a failure even though I never eat. I guess I need a "whoosh" (from all the soy sauce/miso) or to drink less, but I have so little joy in my life. I've been fantasizing for weeks about eating a meal... it's been so long, I'm not sure how I would react.
I'm going to try to sleep again, with the emptiness still gnawing away at me.
[Goal] HUUUGE victory for me this weekend which will sound completely stupid for probably all of you
/u/yesyeshihello [5'2" | CW: 103 | BMI: 19 | 27F]
Created: Mon Aug 28 03:15:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wi9r5/huuuge_victory_for_me_this_weekend_which_will/
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I wore sneakers.
I wore sneakers out of the house to do things in public. WITHOUT feeling like the fattest f*ck alive.
I know that makes absolutely no sense but for the past 10-12 years I have never left the house in flats (with a few emergency exceptions of course, mostly when on holidays and my boyfriend has had enough of me stopping every 10 minutes to rest my feet). In fact until my last birthday the only pair of flats I owned were these bright colored running Nikes.
I hate my fat legs, and I'm so short that when I'm chubby I look like a ball. Heels make me look leaner, in my head at least.
ANYWAY after starving all week my body finally decided to drop two pounds this weekend, so I tried on a pair of pants that didn't use to fit me and put on the adidas superstars (basic bitch shoes I know, but I like them) my boyfriend got me in a desperate attempt to make me a normal person (poor guy).
And the pants fit. And I didn't hate the way I looked.
And I left the house. IN FLATS.
I might be on my way to become a normal person after all.
Anyway I just wanted to share. I hope you all have a wonderful week!
[Help] I'm 17 and I think I'm developing anorexia.
/u/poodlydoodly
Created: Mon Aug 28 02:54:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wi74v/im_17_and_i_think_im_developing_anorexia/
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[removed]
[Discussion] I just realized I have been keeping a mental list of safe foods
/u/tootiredrn [5'4" | CW 160.6 | -9.4 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 28 01:42:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6why5x/i_just_realized_i_have_been_keeping_a_mental_list/
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I always saw other people talking about them but never thought I (this sounds fucked up) was disordered enough to have one. The last time I went to the store and made the mistake of getting a lot of snack bags of goldfish and babybel cheese wheels which I've eaten all of in the last week and put on about 4lbs and as I was tying up my trash bags I consciously thought I'll have to remove these from my list. Over the past 2-3 months my "shopping list" I mentally keep has become my safe foods list and it's dwindled alarmingly. If I buy anything cheese? Then I'll gain. If I buy soup cans, carrots and yogurt? I lose multiple pounds a week. Now it's just time for me to start sticking to the fucking list.
CW is 164.4 on mobile can't change it 😥
[Help] Weight keeps fluctuating
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 115.8 | GW: 110 | M/15]
Created: Sun Aug 27 23:39:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6whguo/weight_keeps_fluctuating/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I ate cereal!!
/u/coffeebean27
Created: Sun Aug 27 22:50:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wh95s/i_ate_cereal/
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...so I ate 3 bowls of cinnamon toast crunch. And I feel full and good but also awful. These last two weeks I've been purging most of the food I'm forced to eat. But tonight I felt like I needed something to make me feel satisfied. I know I'll feel regret in a bit.
I feel like this is starting to get worse? Lately I've been throwing up everything and it's just an automatic response to when I eat. I'm starting to feel more tired and get a bit moody at times.
I can't wait until school starts so that it can take my mind off food and stuff. I'll be busy which may make things worse or make me eat somewhat healthy again and maybe workout too.
[Help] i just ate a whole lemon pie ama (also help me buy food for my apartment)
/u/get-it_together [5'3" | hahaha kill me | UGW 130 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 27 22:17:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wh3u5/i_just_ate_a_whole_lemon_pie_ama_also_help_me_buy/
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[removed]
[Discussion] College questions
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 190lb | M]
Created: Sun Aug 27 22:05:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wh1m3/college_questions/
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[removed]
[Other] I'm tired of fighting myself
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Aug 27 21:47:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wgyi6/im_tired_of_fighting_myself/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] It's my birthday
/u/kickkkasss [5'5 | CW:134 | GW:110 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 27 21:07:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wgqqw/its_my_birthday/
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Tomorrow my birthday. And I binged today. And probably will binge tomorrow. And drink too much. And fuck fuck fuck you guys why's it so hard why's it all so hard. Last year at this time I weighed way less than I do this year and I hate myself. Sorry for the rant about absolutely nothing I just feel so overwhelmed and sad. Fuck.
Got one useful thing from To The Bone!
/u/PurplePensOnly [5'9 | CW 170 | UGW 120 | GW 150 | 22F]
Created: Sun Aug 27 20:56:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wgomx/got_one_useful_thing_from_to_the_bone/
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I'm not sure how you all felt about the movie, but I personally hated it. I thought it was the ultimate romanticization of ED, but whatever point is:
Today I was in my car and I'd started c/s-ing instead of bingeing, and so I'm in my car stuffing my face with an entire cookie cake and I'm pretending to be sipping from a coffee cup but really spitting into it, and these guys in the car next to me are half dangling out the passenger side window gawking at me, and they're waving and winking and blowing kisses, so I took an extra huge bite, with tons of green icing, chewed it up, then turned to them and just opened my mouth and let it drop into the cup and splatter.
They stopped bothering me :)
On mobile can't tag I'm sorry!
[Discussion] The best compliment
/u/ilayonthewheel
Created: Sun Aug 27 20:54:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wgo7z/the_best_compliment/
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I saw an acquaintance today, and she paid me the best compliment. First of all, she sort of gasp/smiled when she saw me, then hugged me, then she said, "You're VANISHING." I loved it, because I see me every day, so I don't really have a sense of the change, yknow, from-there-to-here, the delta.
What are some compliments you've gotten that you just hold onto like they're little pearls?
[Rant/Rave] Sick and tired of up&downs
/u/eugibar
Created: Sun Aug 27 19:29:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wg85x/sick_and_tired_of_updowns/
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I reached my lowest some years ago at 105 lbs, and I been constantly going up since then. I had some better times than others, but currently I'm at my worst at 130.
I'm so tired of thinking about food all the time. In want to loose weight, at least 15lbs. But mostly I want to stop thinking about this all the time. I have skipped so much parties because I felt I was fat and ugly. Ignored guys because I thought I wasn't skinny enough for them to like me, even though they were there *looking at me* and wanted to talk to me anyway. Rejected so many homemade meals by my grandma, saying I wasn't feeling well when I actually just was terrified of those calories.
Right now I wish I could switch my mind off and just eat 500 calories per day and loose some weight and just not think about it.
Just wanted to say it. Hope someone can relate and talk about it.
My grocery store was having a sale...
/u/WhatsAMooseSay [5'5 | CW: 204.6 lbs | -70.4lbs | GW: 115 | 26F]
Created: Sun Aug 27 18:50:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wg0wj/my_grocery_store_was_having_a_sale/
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https://i.redd.it/yo2te0s0mdiz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I went to the ER for chest pain today...
/u/northdakotanowhere [5'7 | CW:125 | BMI:19.5 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 27 18:20:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wfv3c/i_went_to_the_er_for_chest_pain_today/
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It started yesterday. I've had worse pain (endometriosis) but this was so persistent. And I just can't take a full breath.
I was at work and just feeling exhausted and dizzy. I had some nuts and cheese for breakfast so I wasn't starving (haha). But I just couldn't go on anymore. I called the 24 hr nurse on my insurance card and she said to go to the ER. Freaked my boyfriend out. Irritated my boss with telling her I had to leave.
Turns out I'm in good shape. They did an ekg which was normal. Blood pressure was normal. Everything was good. Some chest inflammation but nothing concerning. It's great news right?
Well my Ed slips it's fingers in. Tells me that I'm safe to keep restricting still. Clean bill of health? Keep doing what you're doing. Do even more!
So I went for a 5 mile bike ride. Didn't even burn that many calories. Almost passed out though. I just needed to test my heart. I needed to push myself.
I get home and I still feel guilty and like I didn't work hard enough. I feel guilty for inconveniencing people. All for nothing.
My chest still hurts. I still can't breathe. But at least I'm not dying.
The nurse tells me to take ibuprofen with food. I tell her I'm okay with a little nausea. She's like "well it can give you ulcers and cause long term damage." and I laugh. I'm like "well so can an eating disorder but that doesn't stop me sooo..."
¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
[Rant/Rave] Tonight I'm going to make myself eat so I can hate myself even more (CW: self-harm)
/u/floodinginmymind [5'8" | CW: fat | BMI: fat | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 27 17:55:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wfq4e/tonight_im_going_to_make_myself_eat_so_i_can_hate/
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I've been cutting a lot today and I have been dealing with a lot of stress this weekend. Typical mother bullshit, plus I accidentally sent a self-harm pic to the wrong friend who didn't know I cut. It's been so fucking stressful.
I've been restricting in weird amounts and starving myself when I feel shitty and eating a bit when I feel good. But tonight I'm gonna try something new...
I'm going to make myself eat something high in calories so that I can feel horrible about myself. I am hoping this results in me being able to cut myself even more and do some real damage. I'll return to restricting/fasting for the next few weeks after tonight.
Here's to everyone else who spent their entire weekend isolated thinking about cutting and food.
How do you stop yourself from eating when you're hungry?
/u/superhotalien
Created: Sun Aug 27 17:47:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wfogh/how_do_you_stop_yourself_from_eating_when_youre/
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[removed]
[Discussion] [Discussion] do you take supplements?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 27 17:42:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wfnek/discussion_do_you_take_supplements/
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I see a lot of supplements claiming to help boost metabolism/burn fat/whatever, so I'm curious- do any of you take them? What has your experience with them been?
[Rant/Rave] A glimmer of hope after binges
/u/onlysaysNOO [5'3 | CW 93| BMI 16.94 |F]
Created: Sun Aug 27 17:18:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wfiof/a_glimmer_of_hope_after_binges/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] 140 is bullshit
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Aug 27 17:03:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wffpx/140_is_bullshit/
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[removed]
I'm so happy
/u/grizbearr
Created: Sun Aug 27 16:37:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wfapu/im_so_happy/
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[removed]
[Other] [Food Haul] The only thing missing is Halo Top...
/u/mintslut
Created: Sun Aug 27 16:16:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wf6iz/food_haul_the_only_thing_missing_is_halo_top/
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http://i.imgur.com/R3hAySs.jpg
[Rant/Rave] new girlfriend, new ED problems
/u/JackSkeletal [5'7" | Male]
Created: Sun Aug 27 15:52:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wf1kx/new_girlfriend_new_ed_problems/
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Started seeing a new girl, partially to get over my ex, partially because I'm in a new town and lonely.
New girl recently lost 60+ pounds and understands my "jokes" about CICO and fatlogic without getting offended. New girl is MtF trans and understands my Standard Transgender Body Issues, or claims to.
New girl genuinely doesn't understand why I think I'm fat. Or why I'm bothered by inheriting her "fat guy" clothes.
Today she got an awful, unflattering photo of me--I look about 30 pounds heavier than I do in person, and I look pretty bad in person--and forwarded it to all her friends before I knew it. And to me. Now I have this fucking awful photo hanging out in my messaging app.
I complained about looking like a fatass. She started trying to guess my weight. Started with 140.
140 is her goal weight; we're the same height; I get that this is probably not malicious.
140 pounds is heavier than I have ever been.
I feel like shit on a shingle. Don't think I can keep seeing this chick. Sure as hell can't have sex with her. She keeps touching my back, my hips, my stomach.
Having crazy binge and self-harm ideation today. Don't know if having someone to keep me company is worth it.
Edit: please tag rant/rave.
Anorexia & self-harm
/u/shacrossan
Created: Sun Aug 27 15:43:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wezoq/anorexia_selfharm/
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[removed]
[Goal] BROKE MY PLATEAU
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Sun Aug 27 15:32:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wexg0/broke_my_plateau/
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Fuck yes. Fuck you 84kg. Hello 81.5kg!
*does victory lap*
I calculated my TDEE for the week and the minused how many calories make up a kg, ate below that and IT WORKED!
BACK IN THE GAME BITCHES!
[Help] I just found almost a kilogram of raisins in my cupboard
/u/Yet_Living
Created: Sun Aug 27 15:08:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wesd1/i_just_found_almost_a_kilogram_of_raisins_in_my/
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I was looking for brown sugar and forgot that I had bought them for scones a few months ago. Raisins are both the joy and bane of my existence. I'd already eaten about twenty when I put them away and shut the cupboard door. Wish me luck, I need it with them in my house. Oh, haven't been here in a while also. Hello :)
[Rant/Rave] Bouncer Made My Night
/u/RinaArsenic [Height 5'5 | CW 108 |BMI 18 I AFAB gender fluid]
Created: Sun Aug 27 15:06:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wes49/bouncer_made_my_night/
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At the bar last night, the bouncer off-handedly mentioned that he's never had to wrap the wrist band twice around someone before. I don't think he had any idea how happy that made me.
[Rant/Rave] I wish I was interested in inner peace but I literally just want to be as thin as possible lol
/u/pleasegodnofuck [5'3 | 852lbs | 155.1 | -11lbs | ?]
Created: Sun Aug 27 14:55:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6weppp/i_wish_i_was_interested_in_inner_peace_but_i/
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It's pretty much intuitive that talking to a fat person about wanting to lose weight or how afraid you are of getting fat or how you think you're fat but are clearly not fat but you still see yourself as fat (thanks, body dysmorphia) is like a huge faux-pas, but at this point in time when the body positive/fat acceptance movement has seeped into almost the entirety of western culture (which I don't think is a bad thing!) like how the fuck am I supposed to talk to anyone about this shit without seeming totally mindless and superficial? It's like admitting you're simultaneously clinging to archaic ideals and furthering the oppression of women by trying to please Men and that you've discarded any attempt toward like fucking enlightenment and you hate yourself and fat people and women and everyone and you're dumb, bad, terrible, dumb, dumb, dumb.
I know there's spaces for people with eating disorders to talk about this shit without judgement like I'm literally posting on one now, but I'm still living my life every day with friends who are fat or don't care about their weight or pretend not to. Like, it's so much work to be a) obsessively watching everything you eat and sneaking away to vomit when you've eaten too much and being absolutely devastated when you've digested Too Much and b) pretending that you're not.
I just wish that this movement was more focused on "don't fucking comment or care about what other people do with their foods or bodies." Like, please please please stop caring if I count calories. I know it's very depressed 60's housewife of me but like I need it.
[Discussion] Interesting article about dieting during the body positive movement
/u/pleasegodnofuck [5'3 | 852lbs | 155.1 | -11lbs | ?]
Created: Sun Aug 27 14:21:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6weihs/interesting_article_about_dieting_during_the_body/
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https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/02/magazine/weight-watchers-oprah-losing-it-in-the-anti-dieting-age.html
[Rant/Rave] I'm drunk and I'm gonna speak my fucking mind.
/u/Manko_Mochi [5'2'' | 120.4 lbs | 22.02 | -4 lbs lbs | F]
Created: Sun Aug 27 13:53:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6weck9/im_drunk_and_im_gonna_speak_my_fucking_mind/
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So I am 5'2" and as of right now I am 132.4 lbs. (I tend to weigh more around the weekends) Anyway! My lowest weight ever was 103 lbs. it was really hard trying to lose anymore. I believe my body was trying to hold onto the fat I had left.
Ok so right now I showed my bf the picture somebody posted about a girl being 5'2" and being like 95 lbs. He said it all depended on her bone structure and stuff but I could tell he liked it. I told him I wanted to get to that size and he said ok. He was happy I was going to get to that size. He's really bad at hiding it. I can't lose weight fast enough!!! I thought weekends were going to be hard but they turned out easier than I thought! Fuck food. I'm sticking to my 0 or lo calorie drinks. Fuck chewing, fuck it! 😰😡
[Discussion] [Intro] Hi and also, question: does anyone else have a love/hate relationship with their boobs?
/u/Annie1894 [5'5 | CW 117.6 | BMI 19.4 | F23]
Created: Sun Aug 27 13:51:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wec06/intro_hi_and_also_question_does_anyone_else_have/
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Hello everyone! I'm struggling with university stress and recently ended an abusive relationship. My eating has been disordered for around 9 years now, but it's gotten out of hand recently. I feel so weak, I have headaches all the time, but I still feel like I could stop if I really wanted to - am I kidding myself?
Also maybe TMI but my boobs are quite big for my size (32D) and jfc sometimes they make me feel disgustingly huge because every shirt I wear just bunches up around them. Other times I love how they contrast with my waist and make me look skinnier.
Also it feels odd being over 20 on this subreddit. I feel like a bit of a dinosaur.
[Rant/Rave] A physical break through but a mental set back
/u/ThermalAnvil [15 lbs lost]
Created: Sun Aug 27 13:23:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6we5v7/a_physical_break_through_but_a_mental_set_back/
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Yesterday I was in a group photo and in the background of a couple others. It hurt my confidence but I used it to motivate me to continue eating right. On my way home I felt bad though and considered throwing up, wondering if my body already used the calories from lunch.
By the time I got home I felt unwell though and actually had food poisoning. At first I was mad because I appreciate every calorie I put in my body, for it to just turn on me. But by the end of the night I actually liked having food poisoning because I didn't feel guilty about what I ate, even though I ate within my goals.
Today I feel better and when looking in the mirror I actually noticed my weight loss! For the past few months I've been working off 15 pounds, my water weight makes it fluctuate but on goods days I'm down 15 pounds but can't tell. Today I could! My stomach is just a tad leaner. On one hand I feel good about seeing my weight loss, but I feel bad that I considered throwing up, and that I liked having food poisoning.
What little to 0 calorie sauces do you guys use?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Aug 27 12:34:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wduys/what_little_to_0_calorie_sauces_do_you_guys_use/
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[deleted]
[Other] Anyone up for GroupMe chat?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Aug 27 12:28:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wdto3/anyone_up_for_groupme_chat/
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[deleted]
[Help] Looking for some advice or opinions
/u/extrajack
Created: Sun Aug 27 12:22:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wdsjr/looking_for_some_advice_or_opinions/
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I dont know if this is the correct place to post this, but i am at a loss on what to do next. Small introduction my long term girlfriend has suffored from anorexia nervosa along with many other metal health problems and has been makeing good progress on the path to recovery but has recently decided to take another dive and get back into weight loss and i dont know how to support her best evry attempt i make seems to drive her further away. I am looking for any help or advice on how best to support her and just want to make her happy. Thanks in advance anyone who replyes
[Goal] I will just fast endlessly
/u/sicksadcook [162| 48.9 |19.03 | GW47 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 27 11:24:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wdfk4/i_will_just_fast_endlessly/
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So I decided that I will just fast whenever I can. I will constantly restrict from now on. I'm fed up of all the ups and downs.
My job has anyways always made me cook for others without eating any of it myself. So I can just continue with the better of two evils (restricting over b/p). I don't want to fuck up my body by always wanting to get rid of everything I got into my system.
It's not right. It's wasting resources, money and my body. So I'll stop that. Now.
[Rant/Rave] Planned treat for later this week
/u/CandidTriceratops [ 5'5'' | 208.8 | 34.8 | -17lbs | M]
Created: Sun Aug 27 11:20:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wder9/planned_treat_for_later_this_week/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Too ashamed to eat breakfast
/u/elliotte-mckinnon [23F | 5'6 | CW:160 |BMI 25| GW: 135 | UGW: 110| -205lbs]
Created: Sun Aug 27 11:03:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wdb0b/too_ashamed_to_eat_breakfast/
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Most of the time when I can, I try to sleep in past breakfast, that way I'll consume less in a day overall. It definitely helps keep me under my goal. Usually when I do get up, I make a large mug of tea and sometimes splash a little milk in there (this morning I did not) and then start with a planned small meal.
My housemate has a horrible habit of eating my food, even though he knows exactly how hard I struggle and how little income I actually have to make things work.
As I'm making my "morning" tea, my housemate comes in from the grocery store with two bags and starts pulling things out. He got milk (2% which I can't stand) saying he had finished mine and was replacing it. Great. And he pulls out a giant bag of huge white burger buns (210 cal EACH!) and goes oh I got these to go with the veggie burgers. And I'm like what? Like I didn't realized you had been eating those too, those were kind of going to be my dinners this week like. I didn't say that though I was just kind of passive aggressive like oh well I think there are only like two left anyways... and he's like oh well make me a list and I'll go to the store.
No. that's not the point. If I give you a list, you'll go and buy all the wrong stuff anyways. And I just simply don't have enough of my own money to replace everything. I was just trying to eat this week. I had everything planned.
I literally don't get paid for another week, and even then my food budget isn't more than $200 for the month. STOP EATING MY FUCKING FOOD.
Like I really try to make sure he's fed and happy but I can't keep doing this. Especially when he takes takes takes without asking or replacing with the right things. I had to take all my protein bars out of the kitchen because if I don't the box goes in a few days and I maybe get one. I hate having a food stash though, it's so triggering when I'm trying to restrict. Not that I would binge on the stash, but the more distance I put between myself and anything that can go in my fat face, the better. I'm just sobbing and sobbing like a pathetic bitch.
I guess it's fasting for me then.
[Other] I can weigh myself!
/u/Nicole744
Created: Sun Aug 27 10:10:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wczsw/i_can_weigh_myself/
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So yesterday I tried to convince my boyfriend to be okay with me buying new scales. Even with me saying that it was because I'm going to be eating healthier and having much less sugar and caffeine which has always made my weight drop so if he wants me to maintain then I need to keep an eye on it. But he just wouldn't go for it and if I got one and just hid it, he'd know I'm not even trying to get better.
BUT I took my kids to their weekly swimming today and found a scale hiding in the waiting area! I'm so happy and excited, I can only weigh myself once a week but I can do it!
Being entirely honest...it was very difficult to stay calmish lol
On top of that, I've lost 4lbs in the last few weeks! Overall I actually thought I'd gained. I cannot explain my current level of happiness!
[Rant/Rave] My life peaked yesterday at a festival
/u/lululights
Created: Sun Aug 27 10:03:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wcy6r/my_life_peaked_yesterday_at_a_festival/
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My boyfriend and I were at a local parade/festival and I wanted a shirt to commemorate the experience.
He and I approached a booth and I picked up a shirt I thought was hella cute. As soon as a lifted it off the table, the lady running the booth looked at me and said "oh, I'm sorry dear. We don't have anymore in extra small."
I swear I nearly peed my pants. How can such a small comment make my whole year? I'm glowing.
[Rant/Rave] I hit my UGW today
/u/diedawhileago [5'5 1/2 | 110 | 18.1 | -120 lbs! | 17f]
Created: Sun Aug 27 09:42:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wctvs/i_hit_my_ugw_today/
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...and I feel absolutely nothing lol
At first my absolute, end-all, dream goal was 130. Reached it in June. Then I dropped it to 120. Reached, dropped to 112. Then 110. Now I'm shooting for 100, but I just know that once I get there I won't be happy and I'll end up pushing it even lower. I feel terrible, I can't sleep, and it seems like every day I get lonelier and more miserable. Part of me really, really wants to stop. I've lost 120 pounds in the past year and I've honestly never felt worse about myself. I hate this, I hate the things it makes me do, I hate that I don't have a life outside of counting calories and watching my weight drop.
I don't necessarily want to get better, I just wish things were different. idk.
[Discussion] August 27th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [27F | 5'5 | 125 lb | 21.05 | GW 110 | UGW 105 ]
Created: Sun Aug 27 08:31:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wcghx/august_27th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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When was the last time you worked out?
[Help] Kind of TMI question... 💩
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64" | 119# | 20.9 BMI | -104# | F]
Created: Sun Aug 27 08:29:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wcfzh/kind_of_tmi_question/
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I fell asleep after a binge and feel like I have knives in my stomach. Nothing much has digested at all. In lieu of rolling over and dying, is there any possibility a laxative will help my stomach empty by moving the stuff in my intestines out of the way? I've only ever taken them when I couldn't go the the bathroom during heavy restriction periods, so I don't know how they function with food in the gut.
Vomiting is not an option even though I'm nauseous as fuck. I have no gag reflex.
If magnesium citrate or milk of magnesia isn't a viable option, is there anything that would help with the stomach pain? I'm in my 4th hour of feeling like I'm dying. :(
Fuck I wish I could puke. Idiot.
[Discussion] I don't want someone else's glamorous life. I want to live own life and not feel like a lumpy sack of potatoes while doing it.
/u/little_meowjito [5'2'' | CW: 110 | 🍑 meowjito]
Created: Sun Aug 27 08:18:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wce3j/i_dont_want_someone_elses_glamorous_life_i_want/
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I unfollowed a number of Youtubers and IG celebs today because their "fun" lifestyles posted 24/7 are starting to seem vapid and vacuous.
I realized that I'm happy with the general direction my life is going in. I want to go to graduate school, to advance my career and to work hard for my family and myself. Of course I'd like to be 20 pounds lighter while so lol. Whatever it takes to get there!
[Other] This- but with food and eating habits
/u/sp_600 [5'7 | 110 | bmi 17.2 | 20yr female]
Created: Sun Aug 27 08:08:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wccbf/this_but_with_food_and_eating_habits/
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https://i.redd.it/v741nk1nfaiz.jpg
[Help] safe italian foods?
/u/ED2134 [168cm | fat | female| -10kg]
Created: Sun Aug 27 07:56:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wca4a/safe_italian_foods/
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I will be on vacation in italy fpr 2 weeks.
And i was wondering if anybody could give me any tips on safe foods that are affordable and preferaly high in protein?
[Rant/Rave] Well I guess I've come full circle
/u/YourChinaDoll
Created: Sun Aug 27 07:37:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wc785/well_i_guess_ive_come_full_circle/
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*on mobile, mods please flair as rant/rave*
One of my first memories is being around 4 years old and sitting on my friend's grandma's lap. She was rubbing my sides and she said "Oh, I've never been able to feel a child's ribs before!" I remember being so proud of that, which looking back is so sad that I was associating a low weight with value *at four years old.***
Well last night I slept with a new guy, and he was rubbing my side and said the exact same thing. "Oh, I've never been able to feel someone's ribs before." Guys, I've spent so many years gaining and losing 50 pounds and I'm just so overcome with emotion right now. It sounds so silly but when he said that it felt like I had made it. It felt like all the struggles had been worth it somehow, like this whole time I was working just to hear those words again.
If you've come this far, thank you for reading! I just wanted to share with people who would understand.
[Discussion] What's your workout routine?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~56lb | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Sun Aug 27 07:25:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wc5a3/whats_your_workout_routine/
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I need to start toning up... I look flabby. Was wondering what you lovely people do to tone yourselves while not eating nearly enough.
49 calorie crepes! Super versatile for sweet or savory dishes. Recipe in comments [x-post /r/1200isplenty]
/u/deanhipchester [5' | honestly idk | F]
Created: Sun Aug 27 07:15:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wc3rf/49_calorie_crepes_super_versatile_for_sweet_or/
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https://i.redd.it/igxkm4n506iz.jpg
[Discussion] Any part of you appearance that you used to hate but now love, even though it didn't change?
/u/awayawaydown [6'0" | 132 | 17.2 | 125 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 27 06:31:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wbx9p/any_part_of_you_appearance_that_you_used_to_hate/
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For me, my boobs. I used to be so insecure and wish desperately they were a different size. Now I love them and think they make me unique. Time changes perspective.
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 27, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Aug 27 06:12:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wbun8/daily_food_diary_august_27_2017/
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This is a daily food diary thread for August 27, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your latest grocery+food hauls!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Aug 27 06:10:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wbuih/sunday_share_your_latest_groceryfood_hauls/
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Feel welcome to post pics of your latest and greatest hauls~! Consider adding commentary on:
* what country you're in
* what store, site, market or Co-op you shopped at
* how much you spent or any sweet deals you found
[Help] Fashion tips for when pants (and clothing in general) are too big but no $$ for new ones!
/u/edthrowawaywhoops [5'9"| CW: 133| GW: Kate Middleton| F]
Created: Sun Aug 27 05:20:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wbodk/fashion_tips_for_when_pants_and_clothing_in/
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So I'm 20lbs down from where I was when I bought most of my current clothing but still 15ish lbs from my gw, and its getting to be autumn soon and I don't have pants that fit. I have maybe like 2 pairs but 10lbs from now they'll be too big as well. But I also don't have money to buy more clothing and I also don't want to buy any new clothes until I've hit my gw and am satisfied (but also when will I ever be satisfied, lets be real). Annnnyway....fashion tips for how to make due with too-big clothing? My dresses aren't the kind that can be belted so I'm feeling stuck. My work dress code is on the casual side of business casual most days (like jeans and a nice top would be ok) but I also need nicer definitely-business-casual outfits for days when I'm public-facing (aka no jeans no t-shirts)
ughh
[Discussion] TFW you've lost weight and a clothes that are a little big on you make you look fatter thank you are :(
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | no clue | went to treatment | send help]
Created: Sun Aug 27 05:14:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wbns1/tfw_youve_lost_weight_and_a_clothes_that_are_a/
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So about a month ago I bought this cute skater sundress from H&M. It was a size 8 and it was a little snug but I've lost a lot of weight since then. I tried it on today because I have a kinda sorta date today and I want to look hella cute. So I put the dress on thinking I'll look cute af in it but it's way too big at the waist and it makes my stomach look HUGE. No matter what my weight is, I always have a well defined waist that always looks tiny and I'm so angry. Before I went to treatment I was at a size 2-4 at H&M in dresses. Now I really wish I brought those dresses with me to Germany or at least bought a 6 when I bought an 8.
Can anyone else relate? I know they say "oh wear baggy clothes to cover up your weight loss" but I want to show off my weight loss because I feel cute af. This is driving me insane.
Edit: One of my Abercrombie size S sundresses fits really well, although a bit too much cleavage, but that's a victory, right....?
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend left me....
/u/TitsWithRoses [5'3" | CW:160 |-21 | GW:107]
Created: Sun Aug 27 04:12:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wbgrv/my_boyfriend_left_me/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Dropped 80 pounds after her husband’s insurance was denied
/u/yahyamedox
Created: Sun Aug 27 02:37:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wb6q4/dropped_80_pounds_after_her_husbands_insurance/
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https://i.redd.it/1301dxjcs8iz.jpg
[Help] Gonna attempt a long fast but parents
/u/katsudonbritty
Created: Sun Aug 27 02:07:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wb3hg/gonna_attempt_a_long_fast_but_parents/
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[removed]
Lost Weight + Binge
/u/sadbean17
Created: Sun Aug 27 00:42:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wati7/lost_weight_binge/
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[removed]
[Discussion] What are your favorite laxatives?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Aug 26 23:49:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6waml2/what_are_your_favorite_laxatives/
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[removed]
[Other] I don't want to live anymore.
/u/bigfaninasmallworld [5 feet 🍰 | CW: 88 lbs | GW: 100 lbs | UGW: 98 lbs | 20 F 🍒 |]
Created: Sat Aug 26 23:24:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6waj2k/i_dont_want_to_live_anymore/
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Thank you for the overwhelming support I received here. Thank you for the laughs, and encouragement. The tough times, the mini victories, and the good times I've had on this sub. I've felt so much support here, That words cannot describe.
But everyday this disorder takes a piece of my will to live away. It eats at my soul and just consumes me. I've isolated myself, and i have no one anymore. I can't go on anymore. I'm sick of my life. I'm tired. I'm exhausted. I hope you guys understand, but my will to get help is gone. My will to continue is gone. And my will to live has completely vanished. I'm not going on anymore. I'm sorry to everyone struggling. I'm much too tired to keep walking to see light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you for reading this, and if you can, get help please. I just can't go one anymore.
[Rant/Rave] Getting drawn in again
/u/elliotte-mckinnon [23F | 5'6 | CW:160 |BMI 25| GW: 135 | UGW: 110| -205lbs]
Created: Sat Aug 26 23:03:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wafsb/getting_drawn_in_again/
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I successfully spent a night heating and reheating tea, obsessing over meal planning, spending too much time on mpa, body checking and watching To The Bone on Netflix (which IMO is a laughably inaccurate depiction of treatment/this disorder) Turn down for what. I'm having a lit ass Saturday night.
Why am I letting myself get sucked back into all of this? I know exactly where this road leads. I can feel my world view getting smaller and smaller. My therapist tells me all the time that eating disorders make your life so small, you only get that one thing. But my brain is tricking me right now. You can balance it, it's not going to be your whole world, you'll still have time for other things, don't fret. I don't feel like I can fight it. I spent two and a half years bouncing in and out of treatment, this last time in residential I thought I had really kicked it. Honestly getting out of the ED treatment world helped me recover a lot faster than being in it. I've been out for a year without extended care (besides therapy, but not ED specialized) and just roughly followed my old meal plan in my head. I had stopped counting and body checking. I had stopped being obsessed. I felt sort of "normal". I was having the days we use to idealize in treatment, eating without stressing about it. I was so delusional. I was really just getting was fatter and fatter.
My boyfriend noticed that I've been having a rough time and I've been brushing it off and making excuses. Tonight at dinner I broke down and I told him what he wanted to cook for us was too caloric and I didn't have it in me to eat the many more calories in the day. His reply was, you have as many calories left in the day as you want to have. IF ONLY! My reply was that I'm just trying to keep better track of my intake because I'm seeing a new nutritionist at the end of September and she'll want a point of reference. And, I added, it's not like it's going to get bad again. I'm so full of shit, it stinks!
It's the duality, the voice inside that says, before, that was nothing, I will show you how bad this can get.
Ahhh I love when ED comes up with "reasonable excuses". I think he knew I was lying but I don't have it in me to do anything else.
Sorry for the long rant, just have so much on my mind.
[Tip] Diet pills?
/u/drinkinshamepain
Created: Sat Aug 26 22:23:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6waatr/diet_pills/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Thanks dad
/u/tacehtelle [5"7 | 119.5 | 18.65 :( | 6.5 lbs :( | Female]
Created: Sat Aug 26 21:59:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wa7g1/thanks_dad/
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We were watching the wrestling thing that's on tonight and talking about the weight classes. My dad said something along the lines of "most of them probably weight less than you. Some are around like 130 or something" :|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:| Ouch.
[Help] I think my girlfriend knows
/u/smange719
Created: Sat Aug 26 21:31:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6wa3g1/i_think_my_girlfriend_knows/
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So last night we went out to eat with some of my SOs work friends for dinner. I said beforehand I wasn't hungry, and she wasn't either so it was fine. We ended up sharing a meal at the restaurant, and I hardly ate any of it.
We got home later that night and my girlfriend said she was hungry but she made US BOTH food. I tried to say no thanks that I'm fine, and she broke down and told me how much it stresses her out that I don't eat enough, and if I'm going to excercise as much as I do I need to eat more and she was crying and everything.
This hurt me more than I can ever explain.
What do I do?!
I already make sure that if I am go Ng to eat it's always infront of her so that she knows I eat, and I make up what I eat to tell her when she's not there. What else can I do? I can't hurt her like this.
[Rant/Rave] My competitive side is going to be the death of me
/u/Taiz_eyes
Created: Sat Aug 26 21:00:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w9ysr/my_competitive_side_is_going_to_be_the_death_of_me/
---
My younger sister is a Sophomore in High School this year. She is literally a child who is still growing. She is also 102 lbs and 5'5" and the fact that she is closed to my height and that small is driving me insane.
She is just naturally tiny and I naturally have PCOS, endometriosis and am pre disposed to diabetes ( we are half sisters, my mom is diabetic and so is our dad but somehow she's fine lol) I thank God that she doesn't have my problems, both mentally and physically, but Jesus it's unfair.
I don't live with her, but seeing her pictures are so... idk not triggering but triggering. I can't just fucking be happy for people and I hate being a miserable fat turd.
Now I joined my insurance company's Weight Loss program, mostly for the free food scale, regular scale and blender mind you, and I know I'm just intentionally trying to pressure myself and it's slowly but surely spiraling out of control lol
[Discussion] ABC Diet
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Aug 26 20:56:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w9y7e/abc_diet/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Scuse the language but im going to be real
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'3"|110| 25F]
Created: Sat Aug 26 20:51:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w9xe7/scuse_the_language_but_im_going_to_be_real/
---
So ok I'm bulimic and if I were honest I was actually going to live my life okaying the fact I purge on the daily and you know kinda be at peace with it because wat the hey I've damaged my body enough right
Even after I had an out of the blue grand mal seizure I still kept on this hellhole addiction
But only tonight I found a pitch black cavity stuck in my molars and I'm just done.
I realize how much weight gain makes me want to hate myself, my very being, my very person but I also realize that a part of me wanted to stop this train for a very long time.
The fear of when my teeth will fall out? The fear of having another seizure episode? The slightest hint of a wish that one day one of my purges will kill me?
There's more to life than this and being thin and hoarding up food only to puke it back up.
I never want to glamorize EDs because it's painfully addicting and no amount of thinspo or quotes or hell weight loss will make you feel any more love towards yourself and more alone than ever.
I'm choosing goodbye and I'm choosing recovery
Fuck bulimia and fuck what it's reduced me into. There will always be people thinner than me and fatter than me and sicker than me and healthier than me and there will be many more to come even after I'm dead and six feet under. I don't give a damn.
I have a chance to get off this infernal train and if I have to jump to save myself I'll do it.
[Rant/Rave] |Rant| word vomit
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |110.8 | -109.2 | GW: 110 | UGW:105 | 20A]
Created: Sat Aug 26 20:49:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w9x2q/rant_word_vomit/
---
I sense a fuck it brewing....I sort of want to try a day where I eat 'intuitively' and not worry about counting anything, or eating THEN tracking. That doesn't mean eating a lot necessarily, I just want a break, but I don't think my brain will let me take one :(
I'm conflicted and feel really alone...it's like, such a non-issue to worry about yet here I am obsessing over the fact that I *want* eat while it simultaneously scares me. When did I turn into this?
[Discussion] Besides weight, what's your biggest fear?
/u/tinydancer2525
Created: Sat Aug 26 20:15:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w9rgv/besides_weight_whats_your_biggest_fear/
---
Mine is my house will get bed bugs. I'm deathly afraid of bed bugs and roaches. I check the beds every day and even go as far as exterminating for no bugs. Its pretty ridiculous but I'm terrified.
[Rant/Rave] What did I think about before my ED?
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW 145.0 | UGW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 26 20:11:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w9qrs/what_did_i_think_about_before_my_ed/
---
Seriously. How much brain power is used consciously and subconsciously about weight, food, body, etc.
What am I going to eat. When will I eat it. Where will I eat it. Maybe another hour. I could go to the store. What will I wear. Leggings are comfortable. Wear your jeans. I can feel my stomach rolls sitting here. Do my legs look bigger. I wonder if the scale is correct.
Shit.
I try to quiet my mind with books and it usually works. I went and stress-bought a shit ton of books today. But I'm reading 2 trilogies right now and finished the second book on both but don't have the third. I'm practically in a panic trying to find something to read to keep my mind occupied.
I don't know what occupied my thoughts prior to all this shit.
[Other] I planned to fast today, and I ended up eating 1600 cals >n>
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Sat Aug 26 19:55:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w9nwf/i_planned_to_fast_today_and_i_ended_up_eating/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] How did you family/friends react to your eating disorder?
/u/inquisitor16
Created: Sat Aug 26 19:35:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w9kjk/how_did_you_familyfriends_react_to_your_eating/
---
Basically I think my family is starting to suspect I have an eating disorder and I'm kinda terrified. Should I be? I feel like they would absolutely flip out if they knew I enjoyed starving myself. What was it like for you guys?
[Tip] Low carb potatoes aka Lotatoes
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Aug 26 19:17:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w9h8x/low_carb_potatoes_aka_lotatoes/
---
[deleted]
[Thinspo] Can we start marking thinspo as NSFW? It's kind of triggering
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11", idk what i weigh, 🍑 is same as here]
Created: Sat Aug 26 17:22:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w8v4i/can_we_start_marking_thinspo_as_nsfw_its_kind_of/
---
I used to like seeing it but now every time I see it I just want to cry and stab myself in the stomach and cut off my fat and restrict but I can't so I just binge into oblivion
[Discussion] Use to be fat girl now am skinny girl(?) can someone relate?
/u/OortLimit [5ft|93lbs|18.16|-50lbs|GW80lbs|22F]
Created: Sat Aug 26 15:48:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w8ciq/use_to_be_fat_girl_now_am_skinny_girl_can_someone/
---
I use to be so fat. A short, petite, chunky girl. Now that I lost the weight I can't deal with new coworker who has my body type before.
I'm only thinking this as I am in constant close proximity of the new coworker. She is roughly of the same stats I was before. Holy fuck. Shes so lazy and fat. She sat on the work bench and took a "quick break" of 40 minutes to 'catch her breath' after doing a simple task.
She made me think about how I was once a fatty too. So huge, always out of breath, sweating and lazy. It made me somehow so upset that I was like that once. Like took a flight of stairs to the second floor and out of breath, fat and usually took a lift just to go one floor down. I don't know how to describe this feeling. It feels like I'm looking at a past picture of myself and being so disgusted by it. It makes me feel so queasy. Anyone experience something like this? I don't mean to hate bigger girls. I just feel so anxious and scared that I'll become fat again somehow just by seeing her. Then I feel angry at her for being fat... I don't know why. Stupid reactions. I don't know. Being the weight that I am now and how I was before, why am I reacting this way?
td;lr: I'm a shitty & terrible person. Before and after.
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend told his mom how much I weigh
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 196 lb | GW: 120 lb | 22F]
Created: Sat Aug 26 15:30:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w892p/my_boyfriend_told_his_mom_how_much_i_weigh/
---
I'm so bummed about this. Why couldn't he just fuckin tell her how much I lost, not my god damn before and current.
Like god damn, she's awesome, and she lost like 150 lb a while ago but now I don't even want to face her when I go visit because she knows quantifiably how much of a piece of shit I am.
At least she was proud of my progress.
[Help] For people who are maintaining, do the cravings/obsessions with food eventually lessen?
/u/9010_edvegan [5'2 | 18.95 | 20F]
Created: Sat Aug 26 15:14:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w85za/for_people_who_are_maintaining_do_the/
---
When I'm restricting successfully and not in a binge cycle, I'm constantly thinking about food. I'm always making and rewriting lists: Whether they are junk foods I eventually want to try, my next grocery store hauls (even for weeks ahead of time), certain cookbooks I want to get, some food utensils I need to pick up, new recipes, it's just a neverending stream of food obsessions. For example, I decided I wanted to convert from vegetarianism to veganism so for the past 4-5 days I've been constantly looking up and writing down vegan dessert recipes that I want to eventually try once I'm maintaining, as well as wrote down most of the vegan pre-packaged desserts sold in my supermarket so I can eat them eventually. It'd be different if it was just a casual fleeting thought, but these are some intense cravings.
I'm going to be maintaining within a week or so -- do the cravings or food obsessions eventually stop?
[Discussion] August 26th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [27F | 5'5 | 125 lb | 21.05 | GW 110 | UGW 105 ]
Created: Sat Aug 26 15:06:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w84eg/august_26th_2017_question_of_the_day/
---
What's the best part of your life right now?
[Discussion] What shows/ youtube series do you watch that help you beat a binge?
/u/bigfaninasmallworld [5 feet 🍰 | CW: 88 lbs | GW: 100 lbs | UGW: 98 lbs | 20 F 🍒 |]
Created: Sat Aug 26 14:43:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w7zqs/what_shows_youtube_series_do_you_watch_that_help/
---
Right now, the only things helping me not binge is drinking lots of water (which surprisingly makes me feel super healthy and not want to eat junk) and watching "my 600 pound life". What shows do you watch to keep your mind off of binges? Other things?
[Rant/Rave] People on Reddit can be such assholes
/u/-alostgirl- [5'6" | 111 | GW 98 | 14f]
Created: Sat Aug 26 14:07:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w7sms/people_on_reddit_can_be_such_assholes/
---
I made a few comments about the hurricane in BlackPeopleTwitter on this account instead of my main... rlly regretting it
I was talking about how my first memory is evacuating for Katrina and apparently that's "my fault for not eating enough and blowing away" ... what the hell. Because I'm anorexic it's obviously my fault that Katrina hit when I was two years old
I feel like even among mentally ill people those with EDs are so ostracized it makes me sad.
[Discussion] Influx of thinspo
/u/spaceppigeon [5'6 | 122 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 26 13:59:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w7r0f/influx_of_thinspo/
---
I don't frequent this sub as often as I used to, but lately I've been seeing so much thinspo.
What's up with that?
Everyone is different obviously but I guess I just wonder how everyone feels about it. Personally, I don't look for "motivation" for my mental illness. Fuck man, I don't need it. I'm "motivated" primarily by my inability to regulate my emotions and in the past by the controlling, dominating, and abusive male figures in my life. (I'm putting the word motivation in quotes because I see it used often and I'm not sure what to replace it with in this situation).
I probably come across sounding like an asshole. It's not intentional, I'm genuinely interested in everyone's views on this.
[Rant/Rave] I hooked up with a guy 100x out of my league yesterday and he admitted to me later that he was insecure.
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11", idk what i weigh, 🍑 is same as here]
Created: Sat Aug 26 13:53:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w7pmg/i_hooked_up_with_a_guy_100x_out_of_my_league/
---
This guy is the most muscular, ripped, huge guy that has even been into me and it's AWESOME as fuck but I was just thinking, he has the perfect male body and is still insecure?? That is insane to me. Imagine how many people would kill for that body!!!! Yet he's insecure!
Makes me sad because what if I attain the "perfect" body but am still insecure? I know I will be insecure regardless but it's just crazy to think about.
[Other] Girls, I got a tonsillectomy. It's hell but at least I can't eat.
/u/ibizadaydreams [5'1 | CW126 | 23.8 | GW95| F]
Created: Sat Aug 26 13:30:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w7kvo/girls_i_got_a_tonsillectomy_its_hell_but_at_least/
---
I'm on day 4 of my tonsillectomy recovery. The morning of surgery I was 125.6 and today I'm 120. I've surprised myself with how long I can go without eating. When I would try to fast I would struggle going 24hrs. Thinking I was about to die without eating. It's been 4 days and I can barely drink any water.
I can't wait to see how much weight I've lost after the two weeks of recovery is up. And now I know I can go days without eating and I'm fine. It sucks, a lot. The pain meds are killing my stomach. But... 4 days without eating! 90 hours with only water.
I thought I was going to enjoy two weeks off work eating ice cream and popsicle... it's a lot worse than I expected but at least some good is coming out of it.
[Discussion] Does anybody else have... weird bones that make it hard to gauge a thigh gap?
/u/-alostgirl- [5'6" | 111 | GW 98 | 14f]
Created: Sat Aug 26 13:23:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w7j9n/does_anybody_else_have_weird_bones_that_make_it/
---
Just wondering
Not sure what it's called but I have this thing where my knees kinda face inwards so my normal stance is feet together, knees pressed together kinda facing each other, which makes my thighs pressed together from knee up.
It's kinda weird because I can stand in a way that gives me a thigh gap but it feels so unnatural I feel like I'm faking it
[Discussion] Sorority Rush Is My ED Trigger
/u/DisguisedAsMe [5'3" | 115 lbs | BMI: 20.93| -13.7 | 21F]
Created: Sat Aug 26 13:05:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w7fkl/sorority_rush_is_my_ed_trigger/
---
I'm in a sorority and on my campus we are kind of known for being a top-tier house. A lot of the girls are so so so skinny. Being around and comparing myself with everyone everyday for rush is kind of messing me up and triggering me to restrict/binge/purge. The guys asking us out to drink so frequently is not helping on top of this one specific girl in my sorority that is trying to make me feel uncomfortable with myself because I'm seeing her ex. I love Greek life, but I hate this more than anything. I'm sure the girls rushing feel pressure too :( Can anyone relate?
[Rant/Rave] Date...maybe?
/u/coffeebean27
Created: Sat Aug 26 12:57:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w7dya/datemaybe/
---
So today I'm going out with a friend of mine (he's a guy) and we are going to the pool. Now usually the pool is my calm and safety place but today... I'm nervous? He's such a funny smart ass and when I first met him I was attracted to him. But I knew it would never happen so I gave up on that. Idk maybe today's "date" can actually happen. Ughh...
Also mom wants to take me to eat breakfast at McDonalds but I don't want to eat. I'm going to be wearing a one piece and I've been trying not to eat bc I know I will feel fat and bloated. I almost want to cancel bc I don't feel like I look okay for today.
[Other] Promised myself I was going to have a productive weekend
/u/then_she_said [5'7 | -48 | 27F | UGW: 130]
Created: Sat Aug 26 12:46:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w7bbq/promised_myself_i_was_going_to_have_a_productive/
---
and instead all I've been doing is alternatively binging, purging, then laying on the couch masturbating while my cat judges me from underneath the coffee table.
[the face of judgment](http://imgur.com/a/fiJVo)
[Help] Does anyone have a link to a reliable online step to calorie calculator?
/u/peenut_buttah
Created: Sat Aug 26 12:33:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w78az/does_anyone_have_a_link_to_a_reliable_online_step/
---
I do soooo many steps at work and I'm never very sure how many calorie I burn walking every day. Does anyone have a link to an online step to calorie calculator that takes into account weight and height? Thank you!
[Help] When does being underweight become dangerous?
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 115.8 | GW: 110 | M/15]
Created: Sat Aug 26 12:29:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w77ec/when_does_being_underweight_become_dangerous/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Thoughts on models lying about weight and photoshop for "healthy" skinny?
/u/fruitandfood [🦊 5'7" | 136.4 | 21.29 | F 🌻]
Created: Sat Aug 26 12:24:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w7664/thoughts_on_models_lying_about_weight_and/
---
Kinda two different topics, but I thought they related and am always interested to hear this subs opinions!
so models and celebs lying about their weight is definitely not a new thing and if i had to guess its to deal with any potential public outrage or concern. its much easier to be like "hey my weight is 10 lbs higher!" to throw yourself the tiniest bit into the healthy weight range than have to repeatedly defend yourself
i get it, butttttttttttt that doesnt stop it from being ridiculous annoying
ok [blake lively](http://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2015/greatideas/blog/151116/blake-lively-2-600x800.jpg) is undeniably one of the most attractive girls ever, but she claims to be around a BMI of 19.44. ahaha no.
[selena gomez](http://d1uy76iqdnrcvf.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/selena-gomez-bikini-body-weight-loss.jpg) sites like to say she has a bmi of 21.89......right.....
and none of these people claiming to be so much heavier than they appear have a ton of muscle to explain it
I guess why i care is 1) i wanna look like them and would like accurate stats plz and 2) i think it actually puts a really shitty message out there about "look how beautiful and gorgeous you can look at this weight!!" then every1 at that weight/height realizes they dont look like that all and begins to think its something wrong with their bone structure or something when really they just have an extra 15 pounds
kinda related, or related atleast in my mind, is models being far underweight like easily bmi 15 and 16 but being photoshopped to look "healthy" the most famous example is [this karlie kloss rib edit](http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/09/29/article-2210492-153810EC000005DC-461_634x479.jpg)
Once again i feel like by photoshopping out the realities of being this thin (such as bones, discolored skin, etc.) once again provides this crazy false image. everyone expects models and magazines to be photoshopped, but not many people seem to expect signs of skinniness to be taken out
basically i think it contributes, once again, to this false hope of you can be crazy skinny, yet still look so healthy and beautiful.
maybe im crazy (i definitely am) but this really bugs me and i could type so much more, but ive already typed a ton of incoherent thought, so i would love to hear some of your guys opinions! :)
EDIT: would also love to see some of your favorite examples of models/celebs lying about their weight, it kinda makes me laugh
[Other] My brain needs to obsess over something 24/7
/u/northdakotanowhere [5'7 | CW:125 | BMI:19.5 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 26 12:04:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w71n7/my_brain_needs_to_obsess_over_something_247/
---
Usually it's food.
Right now it's the damn mosquito in my apartment. At least, I'm pretty sure there's a mosquito in my apartment. I haven't seen it yet. And I don't exactly have proof there is one, aside from being itchy. But maybe that's just the paranoia. I can't stop itching and looking around for it. My legs are all scarred up and bruised because of mosquito bites. I don't need anymore!
Oh my God I feel it! Nope, just a hair.
Wait! I see it! Wrong again, just dust.
I'm thinking about just setting my apartment on fire. That'll take care of it.
I'm going to go to my mirror and start looking at my stomach. That'll distract me for a bit.
[Discussion] What's something you like about yourself?
/u/coffeebean27
Created: Sat Aug 26 11:48:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w6y6a/whats_something_you_like_about_yourself/
---
I know I'm unhappy with my weight but I don't think that means that we have to hate everything about ourselves. I might be wrong but I feel that everyone has some somethings that we genuinely like about ourselves.
So some about me... I like my shoulders/collarbones. Since I swim I get to build some nice shoulders and allows my collarbones to poke out. I'm still not at a weight I want (CW: 160/GW: 130) but I really like how my collarbones look and how they will look in the future when I lose more weight.
Another thing is my hair. Again, bc I swim, I get this nice ombre look that's very natural. When it's wavy it looks pretty and when straight the sun gives it a honey golden look.
So what about you guys? What's something you like about yourselves?
[Rant/Rave] Glorious refeed day
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | no clue | went to treatment | send help]
Created: Sat Aug 26 11:27:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w6tl0/glorious_refeed_day/
---
So this week went really well in terms of restricting. I fasted Monday-Thursday. Friday all I had was a bowl of muesli with almond milk and today, it started out that way, too.
Until lunch time. My boss forgot her lunch so she asked if I had any chocolate she could snack on to get her blood sugar going, and she begged me to eat some as well (she knows about my ED and keeps commenting I'm losing weight, not eating enough, etc.)
So there we were, two grown adults, eating chocolate for lunch. I probably had ~500 calories worth and her even more (she's tall and so skinny and I hate her).
ANYWAYS I felt really bad about eating chocolate for lunch, ruining the fact that tomorrow (Sunday) was supposed to be my refeed day. But then one of my old friends from high school who is now living in Düsseldorf (I'm in Cologne) begged to have dinner with me so yeah today was my refeed day and I honestly feel really good about it. I ate food I enjoyed and ate mindfully - it wasn't a mindless binge where I stuffed my face. I guess the chocolate for lunch was mindless but it wasn't out of control, per say.
Oh! And I've taken over 23k steps today and by the time I'm home it'll be around 25k. Not a bad day at all! I'm so glad I'm introducing refeed days to myself.
Edit: Am home now and made it to 25k steps! Tomorrow is the one day I have off so I'm just going to fast, sleep, watch Netflix and do laundry haha.
[Discussion] What's your dream "aesthetic"?
/u/-alostgirl- [5'6" | 111 | GW 98 | 14f]
Created: Sat Aug 26 10:29:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w6h7y/whats_your_dream_aesthetic/
---
Tbh my goal for the near future is to look like a brandy melville model but ik that's not gonna happen
esp because I have short legs for my height and a chubby face
[Rant/Rave] Restricting lower & lower & lower &
/u/MhmStephany [5'3" |-44 lbs | UGW 101]
Created: Sat Aug 26 10:20:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w6fgb/restricting_lower_lower_lower/
---
So my "safe" number for calories *was* ~600 but then I binged for like two days and wanted to punish myself so then it was 350.
BUT THEN I was really craving chicken from this local fast food place around a week ago. I hadn't eaten at all that day and was begging my SO to go buy me some, who I recently admitted my ED to and he took it relatively well which idk I'm confused about (I'll get to that). He was like no you'll be mad at yourself. And I was like yah but you promised to stay out of my eating habits either way. And he was like I'm trying to help you, I'll grill a chicken breast for you but I don't want you to be upset if I get you the chicken and you eat a bunch of calories. And I got pissy and was like never mind, you're right, you wouldn't want me to get fatter that's why you're totally *f i n e* with my ED, cool 👍🏻.
Obviously he was not happy with that and blah blah. We made up and I apologized because I know he was just tying to help and I'm overdramatic. Well my ED brain was like what's a more perfect way to punish yourself than to **starve even more you fucking maniac.**
Long story short, my new safe number is less than 300. And the last few days has been under 200 and I feel fine and good and happy and it sucks that this isn't sustainable for much longer because if I could just do 200 every day I'd be so fucking happy and skinny and I'd stop asking for shitty unhealthy chicken and blaming my boyfriend for all of my own mental hang ups. Although I actually am pretty sure he's okay with my ED if it means I won't be fat anymore.
~~But like how can I be mad if I literally feel the exact same way?~~
[Rant/Rave] Broke my semi fast:( (rant)
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Sat Aug 26 09:46:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w68rd/broke_my_semi_fast_rant/
---
I figure if i post my binges i will feel better and less likely to do so again. So all I've eaten the past four days is little bits of trail mix leftover from my friend (like a two handfuls spread over four days). Last night i needed food, plus my boyfriend seemed suspicious. As a vegan all i had was chips, salsa, beans, and potatoes in my house to eat. I didn't choose one though. Bowl of mashed up chips, salsa, and beans. Twenty minutes still starving eat 1 and a half potatoes with A1 and just mayo. I am a turd. Didnt even taste good, just feel full and guilty. This is why the past two years I've gained 20 lbs.
[Discussion] time for tea, girls 🍵
/u/bellexy [5'8 |GW 118 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 26 09:32:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w65o4/time_for_tea_girls/
---
okay let's chitty chat about tea, cause I'm on the biggest tea kick of my life (in a recent post I mentioned how I had a bad kidney infection two weeks ago and I lost my taste for diet soda - this hasn't changed yet so I'm gorging on tea instead)
for me, I can't beat a glass of southern unsweet tea. idk if it's called southern everywhere else, but it's a pekoe tea brewed hot and then chilled. you can make it cold brew but it takes forever and I'm an inpatient bitch so. also in this range of teas I'd include the diet citrus green tea by whoever makes it, I think it's Lipton.
BUT! my number one love forever is unsweet iced tazo passion tea. seriously if you've never tried it, pick some up asap. Starbucks carries it so if you wanna try before you buy, get one there. I can't even begin to describe how sweet, refreshing, and delicious it is. zero calories and I probably drink four cups of it a day. definitely not the cheapest tea, but it's worth it 💯
what are your favorite teas and/or non-soda no cal drinks? I need ideas!!
[Thinspo] I just want legs exactly like these HOLY
/u/bigfaninasmallworld [5 feet 🍰 | CW: 88 lbs | GW: 100 lbs | UGW: 98 lbs | 20 F 🍒 |]
Created: Sat Aug 26 08:53:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w5y8h/i_just_want_legs_exactly_like_these_holy/
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https://i.redd.it/puysm8cki3iz.jpg
[Other] Lol
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Aug 26 08:45:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w5wrn/lol/
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[deleted]
[Help] Weight gain
/u/whatisthisshow2002 [5'2.5" | CW: 48kg | GW: 40 kg | UGW: I just want to be loved]
Created: Sat Aug 26 08:21:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w5sm9/weight_gain/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Ways to Combat Hunger
/u/bindymin [19F | 5'1 | 102lb | 19.3 | GW 88]
Created: Sat Aug 26 08:06:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w5psv/ways_to_combat_hunger/
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[removed]
[Intro] BED & binge aftercare (first post, kinda long, sorry!)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Aug 26 07:48:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w5mlg/bed_binge_aftercare_first_post_kinda_long_sorry/
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[deleted]
[Help] I need a Buddy on Whatsapp. ASAP.
/u/elevenosix__
Created: Sat Aug 26 07:30:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w5jn7/i_need_a_buddy_on_whatsapp_asap/
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[removed]
[Help] Please can somebody make me feel better about a screw-up last night...
/u/FastPhoria [5'10 | 126 | 18.1 / 17.6 | GW: 119 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 26 06:52:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w5ds4/please_can_somebody_make_me_feel_better_about_a/
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Yesterday was a really good day for me (in an ED way 🙃). I have been heavy restricting and super exercising for ages, but stuck at a plateau for two weeks. It was really getting me down. But then yesterday at uni, my supervisor said "you're not looking so well, you've lost more weight" (YAY!) and early evening I looked in the mirror and finally thought "yes! I have!". So I braced myself and stepped on the scales, and I had had a 4lb whoosh and HIT MY GW!!!
It felt amazing, I took photos to revel in it later, etc etc...
But last night I had to go out with friends and so I ate what I judged to be a "normal amount"... but it was takeout. I had already in advance done a 10km run that afternoon and fasted all day, so that I was running at least a net -700kcal deficit by the time I went out.
Then I weighed myself this morning and I gained 1.5lbs. How is that possible? I've been trying to ignore it since this morning, but honestly I am about to cry in my office at uni.
I would really appreciate any sort of reassurance, cheering up, ..... anything! I don't understand how it could happen.
EDIT: I also feel really ill. I normally eat super healthy foods, never binge, etc. (A banana is like my ultimate treat food). And the food last night was so unhealthy. My head's pounding, I'm crazy lethargic, can't concentrate, my stomach feels terrible. So I'm not even sure if my initial plan to try to run off all of those extra calories this evening is possible...
[Thinspo] 😍 Absolute fave.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Aug 26 06:30:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w5ajz/absolute_fave/
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https://i.redd.it/3daq1je4t2iz.jpg
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! August 26, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Aug 26 06:10:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w57vu/stupid_questions_saturday_august_26_2017/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for August 26, 2017.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 26, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Aug 26 06:10:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w57r3/daily_food_diary_august_26_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 26, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Thinspo] Posting thinspo because I had the worst binge today 😭😭
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Aug 26 05:43:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w53w5/posting_thinspo_because_i_had_the_worst_binge/
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https://i.redd.it/6uyqixeuk2iz.jpg
[Thinspo] 😍
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Aug 26 05:42:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w53r3/_/
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https://i.redd.it/7q00on0ok2iz.jpg
So what kind of music do you like, r/proed?
/u/rebirthmark [5'3" | CW: 40.5kg | BMI: 16.01 | -8kg | F]
Created: Sat Aug 26 04:03:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w4s5a/so_what_kind_of_music_do_you_like_rproed/
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Just curious about your music preferences :) what have you been digging lately? Fave songs/albums/artists? Last concert you've been to?
I have a date and I'm gonna eat normally
/u/tresliz [5"7 | [redacted] | [redacted] | ~30 lost | F]
Created: Sat Aug 26 03:35:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w4p5t/i_have_a_date_and_im_gonna_eat_normally/
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No purging, no picking at my food, fuck it! I have to admit I'm so fucking hungry. We all are, right? I've been eating under 1k, usually under 800, or fasting, for weeks. Mostly liquids and semi solids...
No purging, I'm gonna focus on my date. She's really nice and I don't want to make things bad by nipping off to the toilet to puke up the dinner I paid for.
I'm kinda worried my stomach can't handle a full meal :0 I'll try my best
I'm trying really hard to consider this a step toward recovery. Yeah, that bad word. Ana is telling me I'm going to get fat and gain 5 lbs that day alone.
I mean, I'm sort of thinking about seeking treatment but idk. I love this way of life. It's kinda miserable, but the number on the scale makes up for it. Mostly...
But I'm eating a full restaurant meal tomorrow. Or at least I'm gonna try. For my date. And maybe future partner.
[Help] Perfectionism - where to draw the line?
/u/ziyal79
Created: Sat Aug 26 03:34:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w4p0j/perfectionism_where_to_draw_the_line/
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This isn't really ED related, but I do need some help because everything's kind of related, right?
I have a 4000 word assignment due in 3 days. Before I can even start the assignment, I have to read a 150 page judgment (it's actually 200 pages, but the last 50 pages are mostly images as appendix). The bulk of the assignment is analysing the case, which means I have to read the judgment in full. I have to be able to do the following:
- summarise the case
- analyse the case
- discuss implications and potential relevant reforms
I don't have to do extra research if I don't want, but it will be looked upon well if I do.
I started last Wednesday, reading the judgement. Frankly, I'm still not quite done. I've got about 125/150 pages read and about 500 words written. It's only 7:30pm now, and though I've been working since 11 am, I'll probably keep plugging away until 9 pm or so. I've also eaten more than I normally would, coming in at around 1800 calories. Normally, I'd eat half that and exercise on top of that. I haven't even gotten out of my pyjamas all day, so I feel like a fat, lazy bum.
Have I done enough work today? Because it doesn't feel like it. What's a reasonable amount of work?
[Help] I'm in restriction because of anxiety and I have to go to dinner with my parents tomorrow. Help?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Aug 26 02:55:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w4kve/im_in_restriction_because_of_anxiety_and_i_have/
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[deleted]
[Thinspo] I want upper arms skinnier than my lower arms!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Aug 26 02:20:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w4h77/i_want_upper_arms_skinnier_than_my_lower_arms/
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https://i.redd.it/m44byv0lk1iz.jpg
[Help] My mouth is incredibly dry, even after drinking water. Help!
/u/CoolCatLovesAllKids [164cm | 15 | lmfao | Female]
Created: Sat Aug 26 00:52:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w47k6/my_mouth_is_incredibly_dry_even_after_drinking/
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[removed]
[Goal] I DID IT
/u/tresliz [5"7 | [redacted] | [redacted] | ~30 lost | F]
Created: Fri Aug 25 23:26:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w3wmx/i_did_it/
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I only ate 2 jello cups (180) and a sweet cream vanilla latte (220) today, leaving me at an even 400.
And I opened a box of velveeta mac n cheese.
And I shut it.
And took my meds and went to bed.
I DID IT. *fist pump*
[Goal] No food until Korean BBQ tonight. What's your goal for today??
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Fri Aug 25 23:01:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w3t2z/no_food_until_korean_bbq_tonight_whats_your_goal/
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https://imgur.com/6fEypCk
[Rant/Rave] Eating in front of my ex (rant)
/u/kat-official [5'5" | CW: 115.6 lbs | GW: 100 lbs | -105 lbs lost | 16F]
Created: Fri Aug 25 22:14:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w3m38/eating_in_front_of_my_ex_rant/
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So I'm currently situated in a really small town, and it happens that a guy who i hooked up with until he blew up at me this summer owns the only restaurant with jalapeno poppers and cravings are a bitch and a half. Yesterday I waddled my fat ass down with my best friend and the fucker is sitting at the fucking bar area, not even eating or anything, just chillin.
I tried to ignore him but I could see him in my peripheral and got really self conscious. I've lost twenty pounds since seeing him last a few weeks ago, (he explicitly told me not to do this, but he also told me he wouldn't be a dick this year, so fuck a bitch ass) and my friend was talking slightly loudly about "yeah, you never really eat, i'm so glad you've eaten all your fries, etc." and I kept trying to redirect the conversation back to my new boyfriend and other simpler, less loud shit like that.
I hadn't eaten in a few days so I ate a large thing of curly fries, two chicken strips there. And then we went next door and I ate a fried pickle in ranch. I keep thinking about how he probably heard my friend talking and how he probably thinks i'm disgusting and hates me. So I'm fasting again starting tonight. I leave town the 29th anyways, I guess.
By the way, they didn't even have the fucking jalapeno poppers. So I binged, had to see my ex while binging, and didn't get rid of the cravings.
edit: paragraphs
[Discussion] Does anyone else secretly wish "heroin chic" was still the "trendy" look/body type?
/u/-alostgirl- [5'6" | 111 | GW 98 | 14f]
Created: Fri Aug 25 21:38:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w3gfy/does_anyone_else_secretly_wish_heroin_chic_was/
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Like I know it's awful and that body is very unhealthy for lost people to achieve but in a fucked up way I just want the body type I strive for to be popular. Don't get me wrong, ik being thin will always be acceptable, but I've seen so much "Real women have curves!1!1" "Men don't like bones!!!!! shit lately it feels kinda shitty.
Honestly I just want other people to see me as pretty because I'm vain and insecure and want validation
edit: LOTS of people, not lost people
[Discussion] Unisom use
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 25 21:05:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w3awz/unisom_use/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Feeling an immense amount of guilt right now
/u/TertiaryWings [5'1"| 🐳 | UGW:120 | -15 | 26F]
Created: Fri Aug 25 20:56:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w39a1/feeling_an_immense_amount_of_guilt_right_now/
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I've been doing so well with restrictions and fasting (in my personal opinion) and today to end my latest fast I ended up consuming way more calories then I originally intended. Typically I TRY to fast for at least 16-20 hours with a 15 minute eating window (of a max of ~400 calories) then start another fast.
I'm not going to call it a binge because it would be an insult to people who actually do binge-binge. But it still feels like a binge to me. I feel like absolute crap and the fact that I consider it one makes me feel guilty like I'm making fun of you guys. It makes me sick because you're all so nice.
Pizza Hut (1.3 slices meat lovers pizza, 1/6th pan of meat pasta, 3 slices of the cookie pizza.) 1178 calories.
The sad part is before this would be even less than a typical Pizza Hut meal for me with 2-3 slices with stuffed crust, 1/4 of the pasta tin and half the cookie (no wonder I'm a friggin whale) back when I was "normal".
This brings my up to 1574 for the day because I stupidly decided it was safe for me to have a steak doubledillia from Taco Bell at around 1am for breaking my last fast. (Ate the whole thing then vomited probably 1/3 of it from stress). I feel pretty worthless right now like I can't control the one portion of my life that I thought I had a semi-decent handle on and like I'm going to screw over all my fasting work completely.
Sorry for the rant. Sorry if I upset anyone. I feel like crying but this isn't enough to make me cry. I can't even have that emotional release right now. FML 😭😭😭
[Rant/Rave] Going through old photos
/u/elliotte-mckinnon [23F | 5'6 | CW:160 |BMI 25| GW: 135 | UGW: 110| -205lbs]
Created: Fri Aug 25 20:54:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w391y/going_through_old_photos/
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So I have recently moved into a new apartment and in the process of unpacking, I stumbled upon two of my old cell phones. I tried to put them in a bag in my closet and forget about them but it's been feeling like the tell tale heart. It wouldn't be such a big deal but they contain measurements and logs, body checking pictures, you guys know how it is! I had them in the years I was in and out of treatment 2014-2016. I thought about bringing them in to share with my current therapist, who didn't know me during that period, but impatience got the best of me.
I've been having a rough time as of late as it is with restricting and counting,etc. I am actively watching myself relapse after being out of treatment for a year. Since leaving, falling into a deep depression, and starting different meds, I've gained about 30-40ish pounds from my lowest weight (120ish) . I cannot do it anymore. I cracked.
I literally just spent the last four hours looking at all my old photos and crying. I remember what it felt like to be in that body and I want it back. And more. I uploaded all of the photos to my flickr account as a reminder. I can get there. I can be thinner than that.
The most fucked up thing about it is I'm freaking out of 30-40 pounds right?
When I first started this crazy fucked up journey I was at my highest weight of 360+ pounds. If I gain any weight, I just assume I'm going to balloon and wake up there again.
My head won't leave me alone and my boyfriend is about to come home from work. But at least I'm under 800 cal for the day :D
[Help] How do you give yourself a little "help"?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 25 20:32:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w3559/how_do_you_give_yourself_a_little_help/
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[removed]
[Help] Support needed. Had a shitty day, decided to binge.
/u/drinkinshamepain
Created: Fri Aug 25 20:31:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w34wr/support_needed_had_a_shitty_day_decided_to_binge/
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After a "good week" i had a really shitty day and what do i do? I binge in takis and chocolate. I feel even worse right now.
I just want to cry and lock myself on my room forever. I feel so bad about everything.
I am so stressed my skin is shit, i never had cellulite in my legs and now i do... i need some support tonight
[Intro] A Year Without Addy
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 25 20:16:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w3297/a_year_without_addy/
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[deleted]
[Thinspo] Cutie.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Fri Aug 25 20:04:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w305j/cutie/
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https://i.redd.it/43xffw5kpzhz.jpg
[Discussion] What are your plans for this coming week?
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 56.5kg | BMI 18.6 |- 16kg | GW 52kg | 24F]
Created: Fri Aug 25 19:31:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w2u8g/what_are_your_plans_for_this_coming_week/
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My plan is:
- Fast for 72 hours
- Continue learning how to code
- Go to the cinema every day to watch a new film (which is in town, which is far far away and will mean I walk there)
- To write a shopping list and STICK TO IT for when I come off my fast. (Can't binge if you don't have the binge items in your room :))
[Discussion] Something I wrote in the early hours of the morning that might resonate with some people.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 25 19:28:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w2tud/something_i_wrote_in_the_early_hours_of_the/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Low/Zero-Calorie Binge Food
/u/JackSkeletal [5'7" | Male]
Created: Fri Aug 25 19:26:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w2tgi/lowzerocalorie_binge_food/
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Bought up a huge pile of 5-calorie sugar-free gelatin cups. Have so far been successfully confining binge urges to Hoovering these; they feel and taste enough like crap to fool my binge brain.
Sort of tempted to low-restrict using them to fill my stomach. This is likely to get expensive.
Anyone have recommendations for similar products? Criteria: low-calorie, taste like junk.
Please flair discussion.
[Thinspo] Her legs, her elbow, her collarbones. Ugh.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 25 19:04:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w2pcl/her_legs_her_elbow_her_collarbones_ugh/
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https://i.redd.it/y6dq1otqezhz.jpg
[Thinspo] I cannot even imagine having legs that perfect.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 25 19:03:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w2p7v/i_cannot_even_imagine_having_legs_that_perfect/
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https://i.redd.it/hq4abh7mezhz.jpg
[Thinspo] Eat Glitter has FINALLY released her eating plan!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 25 19:01:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w2orq/eat_glitter_has_finally_released_her_eating_plan/
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https://i.redd.it/lpuc9xw6ezhz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] every time I purge
/u/rosereddaisywhite [22F| 5' 7 | CW 114 | UGW 100| BMI 17.7 |]
Created: Fri Aug 25 18:14:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w2fv8/every_time_i_purge/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I JUST REALISED MY SCALES ARE OUT OF WHACK
/u/slave2thepoon [169cm | CW 57.5 | GW 50 | 21F]
Created: Fri Aug 25 18:12:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w2f9a/i_just_realised_my_scales_are_out_of_whack/
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Holy shit you guys I just went to do my morning weigh in and noticed that when nothing's on the scales it's sitting at 2kgs instead of 0??? Does this mean I'm actually 2kgs lighter than I thought?
Now I have to buy some new scales jesussssss please let this be true
Edit: this is my first post on a throwaway account, hello everyone!
[Other] When he tells you to take lunch 😆😆
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Fri Aug 25 17:49:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w2ay3/when_he_tells_you_to_take_lunch/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Literally hating everything
/u/ToostsieWooGirl92 [5'5 | CW: 98lbs | GW:93lbs | 16.5 | 16 F ]
Created: Fri Aug 25 17:22:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w25tr/literally_hating_everything/
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So I'm at a youth group convention and so I have basically no control, I've already had 2 meals today that I have no idea how many calories, and I'm so hungry. I have all these snacks and I'm not really sure how to estimate calories for things I don't know and I'm just so stressed out and I feel super ugly and I just want to be at home with my dogs and I'm so stressed about my food why the duck did I buy zebra cakes? Sorry this is all over the place (adhd) im just feeling rantish and have no one to talk to
[Help] So my mom told my therapist some stuff :) :) :)
/u/diedawhileago [5'5 1/2 | 110.6 | 18.1 | -119.4 lbs! | 17f]
Created: Fri Aug 25 16:58:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w211m/so_my_mom_told_my_therapist_some_stuff/
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A bit of background info: I've recently started therapy and the lady I see actually specializes in eating disorders (I'm only diagnosed with anxiety and depression though) which isn't great because she probably knows exactly what to look for
Anyway last weekend we went on a short trip to Philadelphia, and of course I'm ridiculous and I brought my own food so I could avoid all the restaurants and eating with my family. Everything went fine and nobody said anything about it so I thought I was in the clear, right?
Wrong.
My mom made it sound a lot worse than it actually was-
"she refused to eat or go to any of the restaurants with us"
"would only eat oatmeal in the hotel room"
"she does this kind of thing a lot"
Oh boy. I played it off as just not wanting to eat with them because I'm vegetarian and they had meat at basically every meal, and I THINK the therapist bought it, but for the rest of the appointment she'd slip in little questions about my eating habits, how I felt physically, if I'd had labwork done recently, etc etc. It was very subtle but I noticed and now I'm *extremely* worried. At my last appointment the therapist said she thought I had body dysmorphic disorder so when you add this mess to that... yikes. I've hid this for almost 6 years and I always kinda knew it would come out eventually, but I'm SO not ready for this
I'm overreacting, right? Please tell me I'm overreacting lol
[Other] If you're all of these at once clap your hands!
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 57 | 19.05/18.82 | GW:<57 by 1/9 | UGW:<55 by 1/9 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 25 16:29:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w1v1z/if_youre_all_of_these_at_once_clap_your_hands/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/tumblr/comments/6vyjs0/if_you_have_bad_eating_habits_clap_your_hands/
What subreddit am I on again?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 25 16:28:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w1uu8/what_subreddit_am_i_on_again/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/tumblr/comments/6vyjs0/if_you_have_bad_eating_habits_clap_your_hands/
[Help] What happening to me?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~56lb | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Fri Aug 25 15:43:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w1lbs/what_happening_to_me/
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So I ate my dinner a bit early and was still peckish... I ate 2/3 of a protein bar and immediately got sick. I didn't throw up but I came pretty damn close...
my heart is beating extremely hard, I'm sweating profusely and shaking. TMI but I got diarrhea as well, which could just be from the laxatives last night but it happened right after eating...
[Discussion] Does anyone else set their myfitnesspal calorie goal to their BMR?
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 196 lb | GW: 120 lb | 22F]
Created: Fri Aug 25 15:32:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w1iwb/does_anyone_else_set_their_myfitnesspal_calorie/
---
I have the app synced to my step counter too, so it pretty much adds up my TDEE every day for me. This way, when I log my food it subtracts from the TDEE and I can see my deficit for the day. I aim for >1000 calorie deficit every day, I feel like this makes it easier for me.
Does anyone else do this? I like adding up how much I should be losing every week as close to exactly as I can.
Ef you Sonic
/u/blackswanrises
Created: Fri Aug 25 15:22:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w1guq/ef_you_sonic/
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[removed]
[Other] kinda mentioned disordered eating to my sweet mom~
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 25 13:58:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w0xr3/kinda_mentioned_disordered_eating_to_my_sweet_mom/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Guilt and Relapsing [Rant]
/u/keyboardpal [5'11" | CW: 188lbs. | HW: 265 lbs. | GW: 175lbs. | 23M]
Created: Fri Aug 25 13:39:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w0tk0/guilt_and_relapsing_rant/
---
9 months ago I entered treatment for bulimia. (Well, technically EDNOS, but who's counting?) It was a tough thing, rehab. But I truly did come out committed to recovery.
One of the most effective parts of rehab was mealtime/snacktime. We'd all eat at the table and everyone was super encouraging and supportive, and the direct care staff who ate with us were pretty good at catching people sneaking food off their plates so I felt like my only option, really, was to eat. But also I felt safe to eat because everyone was so nice and understanding.
What they didn't tell me was that, after I'd discharged, I'd eventually forget that feeling of structured support: now every calorie is my choice, and no one really cares if I eat or not (or I'm so good at hiding my disorder that no one notices). I learned how to eat like a normal person in terms of portion sizes and meal planning, but I didn't learn how to *actually* eat like a normal person.
By the way, how do normal people *just eat?* Like how do they go about their day, eat whatever their stomach decides, and magically hit their maintenance calorie count? I wish I could trust my "hunger cues", but they're stupid. My "hunger cues" would have me eating 5,000 calories a day if they could.
Anyway, so now I feel guilty when I eat, I feel guilty when I don't eat, I feel guilty all the fucking time. ED and rehab combined have ruined food entirely for me. So yeah, technically I'm relapsing, but at least losing weight makes me happy. If I'm gonna feel bad all the time no matter what, I might as well be skinny.
Not sick enough
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 25 12:51:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w0ilq/not_sick_enough/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Not sick enough
/u/dobelieveinbear [5'3 | 103 | 18.2 | GW: 90ish | F]
Created: Fri Aug 25 12:50:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w0i8q/not_sick_enough/
---
I'm on mobile, so please flair as a rant.
I feel like I'm not sick enough. It's a terrible feeling. The logical, "recovered" part of me screams at night because it knows what's going, that things will continue to get worse if I don't seek out a little help. But ED brain screams right back, in every mirror and anytime I step in the scale. Telling me that I'm certainly not thin enough, that I eat too much, and most dreadfully, I'm healthy. (You wouldn't believe the hatred I have for that word.) That give it another month or two, I'll be right at my goal weight. It's attainable, but I know that it will consume everything else, that I'll just be a shell of a person again. And I suppose part of the goal.
In all honesty, I miss it. I hate feeling fat at 103 when my lowest was 76. I miss it, but I also "know" I was dying. I just feel a little conflicted and wanted to rant a bit.
[Rant/Rave] tfw you weigh yourself after a binge
/u/nopenopenpoenope
Created: Fri Aug 25 12:17:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w0abi/tfw_you_weigh_yourself_after_a_binge/
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FUCK !! fuuuuuuuuccccccccccccccckkkkkkkk
lmaoo yesterday I was 36.7 kg and at the end of today I am 40.2
: )
: ) :) :)
fuck bodies! who needs a body? not me!!
of course it's not all real weight, but fuck that I'm literally carrying 3.5 kg more weight on my body today than yesterday. that's like 10% of my goddamn body weight. h e l p m e
I'm so high on sugar I'm just laughing like an idiot (while writhing in pain)
Can't wait for tomorrow to come. A new day, a new day. Same me with my same old shitty habits. Ah. What a beautiful life! I literally ate a kilogram of chocolate today! What did you do? Hope everyone else did a little better than me lmao
[Discussion] Fave thing about your body - I know this is hard
/u/tresliz [5"7 | [redacted] | [redacted] | ~30 lost | F]
Created: Fri Aug 25 12:05:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w07ks/fave_thing_about_your_body_i_know_this_is_hard/
---
Mine has to be my hands...... they're really pretty to me. I also actually do like my face, it can always be thinner but I think I'm fairly pretty.
What do you like about your body? Or at least hate the least?
[Discussion] What effects does consistent binging and restricting have on the body?
/u/ggreatgoat
Created: Fri Aug 25 12:00:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6w06ec/what_effects_does_consistent_binging_and/
---
Maybe if I know I'll feel less inclined to binge.
[Help] I'm really needing someone to talk to
/u/Nicole744
Created: Fri Aug 25 11:29:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vzytf/im_really_needing_someone_to_talk_to/
---
I have too much going on in my head and just need to talk. Anyone irl will just push me to "be healthy" and fuck that.
Even though messages on this just anything so that I can talk to someone who understands and still thinks how I do
[Rant/Rave] Nobody is noticing that I'm losing weight again
/u/Idkusernameperson [5'6|120|25f🐇]
Created: Fri Aug 25 11:11:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vzunv/nobody_is_noticing_that_im_losing_weight_again/
---
I'm going to be honest and say that 99% of anything I do is for external validation and attention. I'm getting none. I didn't see my therapist for 3 weeks and I thought I was noticeably thinner after those 3 weeks. She knows of my body dysmorphia and didn't even notice my weight loss. I mentioned to my coworkers and grandmother that I'm watching my sugar intake because some people noticed I've been eating differently. They haven't noticed my weight loss. Only my fiancé knows and he said I felt thinner but who knows if that was just encouragement because he knows I'm trying to lose weight. The ONLY person to comment on my weight that I haven't told I changed my eating habits in any way is a regular customer at my job who said I looked thinner. Please people in my life notice me and compliment me 😭😥 idc if that's childish I need it to survive
[Rant/Rave] I told my doctor I didn't want to take seroquel because of weight gain. [Long af rant]
/u/Trinkets-Baubles [5'3 | idek | 28.22 maybe | 18 | F | UGW 110]
Created: Fri Aug 25 11:06:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vztdo/i_told_my_doctor_i_didnt_want_to_take_seroquel/
---
So she decided it was best to prescribe me 2 different types.😐 after she prescribed them she said "it was impossible for me to gain [literally] 10lbs back within 2 weeks"
I am so frustrated. I don't understand how people can get into a medical field and not have any sympathy for their patients. She said, "I can sympthasize with weight gain" NO. NO YOU CANT. I SAW THE SNACKS ON YOUR DESK, I SAW THE CALORIE DENSE "FLAVORED" WATER.
You want to sympthasize? Lick a hot sauce bottle evey time you get hungry. Yeah. That's right. I knew you couldn't even fathom how I feel.
I just want to eat (if you can call it eating) my chicken broth while I cry into it, because all the weight I lost came back. (Though I'm sure all the extra salt will fuck me) I was *so* close to having a thigh gap. So close. Now no matter what I do, or how much I bike and lift, my weight sticks to me more than a churro in chocolate. Yet you sit there, approaching 190+, telling me you sympathize. You don't exercise, you don't judge your self worth by weight, you don't count calories and cry if something has too many. WHY the fuck did I get stuck with you as a med provider? Oh and jokes on you, the seroquel (i cant fucking spell it omg) you gave me for when I can't sleep? DOESN'T WORK. I CRIED for like, 3 hours (11-2) trying to sleep because all I can see in my head is what I could be. Thin, successful, *happy*. And yet here I am, a fat sack of shit and no one wants to accept how much my weight is hurting me.
And now, starting in september I get a new therapist. So I get to tell him/her about my issues. All of them. We'll start slow, about my selfworth being tied to my weight, and what a sham it is that I come every week. None of you have helped me, only made me consider that maybe you'd take my weight issues seriously if I looked *traditionally* anorexic. Instead, they'll say, "say nice things about yourself in the mirror" or "you wouldn't treat your friends like that, so why would you treat myself like that" because I can see all my flaws, and it would be cunty to say to my friend, "hey, you're fat and its not cute" except guys hit on her and not me because she can "pull it off" and I look like Im wearing a sack of potatoes every day.
Just what? Why? How did I end up this way? Was it watching too much Miss America while eating potato chips? The victorias secret commercials with flawlessly thin 5'8 models? Or was it the fact that I was bullied relentlessly until I became a whale? Then people just stopped paying attention, and I faded into the background. Safe, fat, and unhappy.
Fuck me, I just want to eat food and be flawless. I want an Instagram of me having skinny adventures and people fav it and share as I eat an icecream cone and look so delicate. I want to be that skinny girl who gets sent makeup and clothes packages for companies who want me to be a spokesperson, but I cant, and I wont, because Im 40-50 pounds over weight. I cant even wear a swimsuit. Summer is almost over and I haven't gone swimming once. Because people would see me.
**update**
Well, as it turns out it's extreme constipation (I thought it was period cramps, or hunger cramps) and water weight. Fuck these meds. I want to poop, but not tear my god damned asshole and intestines open.
[Thinspo] Doc Martens thinspo
/u/thelonelykitten_ [5'2 | 131 | 23.8 | -2 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 25 09:35:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vz8px/doc_martens_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/Ewv8K
[Discussion] Thoughts on a "Self Promotion Saturday"?
/u/nueroux [@zucaria | Dead Inside]
Created: Fri Aug 25 09:16:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vz4cg/thoughts_on_a_self_promotion_saturday/
---
Possibly a weekly thread where we post our social media that may be recovery related, thinspo related, or just us wanting to connect with more proed users.
Thoughts? :-)
[Goal] I opened up to my therapist about food stuff
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1.5" | cw 159 | gw 145 | -11]
Created: Fri Aug 25 08:46:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vyxda/i_opened_up_to_my_therapist_about_food_stuff/
---
She handled it well, so I don't want to make this about how *she* handled anything wrong because the problem is 100% with me. I told her I'm basically too fat to leave my house. The feeling is acute. I avoid seeing old friends because the look when people see I've gained weight makes me want to jump in a frozen lake. I told her I fast some days, other days I restrict very low. I have to have a running mantra in my head before, during and after I eat telling myself that it's okay while also trying to not feel like it's *too* okay so I don't lose control.
All this, and she basically said if it's working for me, it's not something she's concerned about at this point. And like honestly that makes sense in the tiny part of my brain that still applies logic to stuff. I'm overweight so fasting and restricting and then still overeating occasionally isn't really putting me at risk. My anxiety is lower and this has helped me get my binging in control, which is crucial since my weight is what hurts me most right now.
So logically I understand her position, but I walked out of the appointment feeling like I had just accepted a challenge. If my methods aren't concerning, my results will be.
edit: can I just say I love you all? I don't have anyone to talk through all of this with and these comments have all been really helpful <3
[Rant/Rave] After a week of bingeing to 3500 kcal/day I've gained so much weight and I feel so pathetic. I feel like I can't turn this around
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11", idk what i weigh, 🍑 is same as here]
Created: Fri Aug 25 08:25:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vysi0/after_a_week_of_bingeing_to_3500_kcalday_ive/
---
Every time I get like this I just end up saying fuck it and eating myself into oblivion. It hapPens every fucking time and with the dining halls here on campus I just can't control myself. It is there for me to eat and it looks and smells delicious so goddamn it I am going to eat it. I need self control. I need to get out of this mindset but I feel so stuck and i CAN'T. I am going to the counseling center today and I am going to ask for an appointment with a psychiatrist so that I can get help because I just can't go on like this. Maybe I will get prescribed Vyvanse or something?? idk.
Also I am meeting *that guy* for the first time since mid-June and I am so nervous. I left something at his apartment in May and I want it back lol so that's why we're meeting up today. I don't know if we'll have lunch or just say here you go bye or what but jESUS I feel self conscious.
[Rant/Rave] I could just touch my bones all day...
/u/bed_warrior [5'10" | 245.0 | 34.18 | -88.0 lbs | F 27]
Created: Fri Aug 25 07:46:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vyizn/i_could_just_touch_my_bones_all_day/
---
All day at work I put my fingers around my wrist and touch my collar bones.
Every morning and every night I touch my sternum and my hip bones.
They're not visible yet but I know they're there because I can feel them and it gives me hope.
[Discussion] the wise mind
/u/bellexy [5'8 |GW 118 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 25 07:09:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vyb77/the_wise_mind/
---
hopefully this helps some of you!
so, like many of you, I tend to view myself as [a hot pile of garbage](http://i.imgur.com/1aSdUKO.png). and it's silly, and I think most of us can relate to that thing where it's like, okay logically I know that I'm not overweight because my BMI is X but emotionally I feel fat and gross.
well my psychologist turned me onto this thing called [The Wise Mind](http://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/wise-mind.pdf). it's a mindfulness technique that helps reconcile the differences between your logical side and your emotional side when you feel conflict within yourself. it's helped me a whole lot in the last week or so I hope it gives you a little bit of relief as well.
for example, I was relatively distraught this morning when I weighed in 3 lbs higher than my week's LW. my emotional perspective kept chanting how fat, worthless, and disappointing I am. the logical side reminded me that I had dinner late yesterday and I haven't pooped in like three days (yay for constipation). so The Wise Mind helps me overlap those thoughts. yes, I'm three pounds up and yes, I'm heavier than I want to be, and yes I do feel really bad and discouraged; however, in a day or two I will likely see a lower number than this week's LW and I'll feel better about it soon.
it's all about acknowledging your current feelings, not trying to suppress or ignore them, and finding a way to also listen to that logical side as well.
here are a couple of links that explain more about the wise mind and general behavioral therapy worksheets.
https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/wisemind.htm
http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=57
http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=52
[this one](http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/consumers.cfm) has so many fantastic, easy, and in-depth modules for all sorts of self-care.
so! a challenge for you if you wanna do it. think about something that has a logical & emotional side to it and try to find that wise mind compromise.
sending lots of love and support to all of you. remember, you're worthy, fantastic, and lovely. you are not defined by your struggles, and you're a total badass so don't forget that ever xoxo
[Thinspo] Stomach Thinspiration 8.25
/u/TeenyBeanieWeenie [5'6 (66 in)| 127 lbs| 20 BMI | - 3 (This week) | F]
Created: Fri Aug 25 07:00:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vy9dl/stomach_thinspiration_825/
---
http://imgur.com/a/HgRBI
[Discussion] August 25th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [27F | 5'5 | 125 lb | 21.05 | GW 110 | UGW 105 ]
Created: Fri Aug 25 06:48:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vy7c8/august_25th_2017_question_of_the_day/
---
What would you like to tell your father?
(I apologize if this brings up bad memories for anyone.)
[Help] Any tips on hiding weightloss from family?
/u/avakadava [5'6.5" | 132 | 21.0 | -22]
Created: Fri Aug 25 06:45:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vy6v1/any_tips_on_hiding_weightloss_from_family/
---
Today I was reaching across a desk to print something when my mum was like 'hey you look like you've lost some weight'. I acted dumb and said something about oh yeah maybe it's because I've been eating healthier (lol).
While it's awesome to hear my first comment that I've lost weight, I know my mum's gonna continue to pay attention to me now. She's a bit of a helicopter parent. A few years ago, one summer, I lost weight quite quickly sticking to the paleo diet and she threatened to send me to the anorexia hospital (I was a perfectly healthy weight & and my dad works as a psychiatrist there). She said I had a naturally bigger frame than others though and my new weight wasn't right for me or something eugh...
Anyways, does anyone have any tips on how I can dress at home to continue to lose weight without my mum getting worried and trying to stop me? I'm still nowhere near my goal. Today, when she commented, I was wearing skinny jeans and a cropped sweater so I guess that could have contributed to her noticing my body
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! August 25, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Aug 25 06:13:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vy17s/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread_august/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for August 25, 2017.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 25, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Aug 25 06:13:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vy16u/daily_food_diary_august_25_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 25, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Thinspo] [Thinspo] Album - Alesya Kafelnikova
/u/-alostgirl-
Created: Fri Aug 25 06:11:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vy0ro/thinspo_album_alesya_kafelnikova/
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http://imgur.com/a/ybtuW
[Help] Anyone here gone on 400 calories a day?
/u/ggreatgoat
Created: Fri Aug 25 05:22:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vxt7h/anyone_here_gone_on_400_calories_a_day/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Being so stubborn might actually pay off
/u/Nicole744
Created: Fri Aug 25 05:02:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vxq8r/being_so_stubborn_might_actually_pay_off/
---
My boyfriend is hellish. He notices everything, just from how tired ect I am, he knows how much I'm eating. He's determined I'm already underweight (5'3 8.7st) so doesn't want me to lose any more but tough. I will lose as much more as I fucking like. I will eat enough that he doesn't know any difference, just a simple cutting out unhealthy things as far as he knows, it might take me a little longer since I now need to figure out how to hide cringing every time we cuddle or how tired I am and everything else but I'll get there.
I haven't used any communities for a long time until the last few days but it's so good to just talk. When things were like this before I had friends I went to school with ect to talk to about everything, I forgot how lonely not being able to talk about it was
[Other] That moment of validation when the train is very crowded and you still manage to fit.
/u/Catsorbras
Created: Fri Aug 25 04:55:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vxp6z/that_moment_of_validation_when_the_train_is_very/
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[removed]
[Discussion] lol use to weigh less than 80lbs, what a fat ass
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 25 04:47:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vxo3j/lol_use_to_weigh_less_than_80lbs_what_a_fat_ass/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2aqmXjxVKk
[Rant/Rave] I'm refusing to renew my passport because I've gained like 30+ pounds and I don't want to look fat in my passport pic
/u/lightfeathers [5'4" | CW 112 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 25 04:27:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vxlh5/im_refusing_to_renew_my_passport_because_ive/
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[removed]
[Other] Vienna tourism gets it
/u/janesavage [170 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 18F ]
Created: Fri Aug 25 01:48:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vx1lu/vienna_tourism_gets_it/
---
https://i.redd.it/a7w3o1bu9uhz.jpg
[Discussion] What are your non-number-related goals?
/u/itszwee [5'3"| CW 163 lbs | -13 lbs | UGW 115 lbs | F ]
Created: Fri Aug 25 01:25:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vwyry/what_are_your_nonnumberrelated_goals/
---
What kind of goals do you have that have nothing to do with numbers? No specific measurements or sizes, just something you can see/feel that's non-quantifiable?
For me, it's having a gap between my pants and my stomach because of my hipbones holding it out.
[Discussion] Does anyone else here have a hard time keeping/getting into relationships because of your eating disorder?
/u/bigfaninasmallworld [5 feet 🍰 | CW: 99 lbs | GW: 100 lbs | UGW: 98 lbs | 20 F 🍒 |]
Created: Fri Aug 25 00:24:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vwqwg/does_anyone_else_here_have_a_hard_time/
---
It's gotten pretty bad this past month. Hence why I haven't been posting frequently. My EDs never been this bad. I would usually just starve myself, but my depression has made me not even have an appetite. I got asked out today by a guy I know that really likes me, and I like him to. My heart feels fluttery whenever I talk about him, but "for some reason" I said no. I just couldn't do it. With my depression and ED, I just couldn't. I feel horrible and guilty. He's not texting me back, but most likely cause he's still hurt over what a terrible person I am. I just texted him asking if we could talk so I can explain, but I haven't gotten a text back. I feel so horrible I might throw up whatever's in my empty stomach. I just feel so alone, but I know that I'm the reason I feel that way. I just CANT DO IT. 😖☹️🙁
Does anyone else here have trouble keeping relationships, starting one? What are your tips in dealing with it? I legit have no idea what to do/ how to face him tomorrow, if he even wants to see me. I messed up, but I'm on the fence still... 😖😖
Announcements!! New Mods + Sub Rules
/u/woollyshirt [5'8 | 19M]
Created: Thu Aug 24 23:44:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vwlaj/announcements_new_mods_sub_rules/
---
Hello lovely people of r/proED!
We have a couple of announcements to make. First of all, We'd like to welcome our new mods: u/daeboo and u/mild-rose! :) They're both super lovely people and it's really nice to have them around setting a good example and being helpful and doing all the fun mod stuff.
Second of all, and a not so cheerful announcement: Twice in the past week, people have posted "thinspo" of people they know in real life, with pictures taken from social media. That is 100% absolutely not ok, and that's not negotiable- it's outright creepy and weird, and not suitable for the kind of space we want to have here. Thinspo posted on here should be of someone who is obviously over 18, should not be a picture of you (that's for the selfie threads posted every friday) and should look like a photo/album intended to be shared, so that the person in the photos would not end up upset to find her photos posted elsewhere- [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s4ds2/alberta_berlin_my_new_favourite_thinspo/) is a great example of something that seems acceptable, as it's clear that it's a model featured and not someone who would end up particularly distressed to find her selfies on here. If in doubt at all, feel free to send us a modmail before posting anything, or ask below to clarify.
Finally, We've rewritten the rules to make things clearer and condense them a little. You can see them in our sidebar, and if you have any questions feel free to ask!
Thank you all :)
[Help] LPT: consume all of your calories for the day in the form of alcohol and you won't have to do any dishes
/u/kzxwy [5' 6" | CW: 134.8 | HW: 145.0 | GW: 115.0 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 24 23:33:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vwjy1/lpt_consume_all_of_your_calories_for_the_day_in/
---
hahahahaha my life is falling apart 😀😀😀😀
[Discussion] Did your face slim down when you lost weight?
/u/imnidades [5"2 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 24 23:12:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vwgvw/did_your_face_slim_down_when_you_lost_weight/
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My biggest insecurity and reason why I want to lose weight is my face/head. My head is very very round, I look like an emoji. I'm currently at a normal BMI and I'm hoping that if I get to underweight, my face will change? Does anyone here have a round face/head success story?
[Discussion] My eating disorder helps with my anxiety...
/u/tinydancer2525
Created: Thu Aug 24 23:08:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vwgad/my_eating_disorder_helps_with_my_anxiety/
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Anyone else feel this way? Like its a distraction?
[Rant/Rave] Bless the whoosh
/u/almightylurker [5'1" | 145 | 27.4 | -70 | 19F]
Created: Thu Aug 24 22:50:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vwdk7/bless_the_whoosh/
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Having your weight stay the same for literally weeks, even though you know that you're losing weight bc you're most definitely eating at a deficit, is absolutely maddening. But boy does it pay off when you see that scale drop 3 pounds in one day. I was hungry but not anymore.
[Rant/Rave] Drunk post sjjwjwne
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 24 22:33:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vwaz2/drunk_post_sjjwjwne/
---
[removed]
[Thinspo] Just wanted to share my thinspo. She's 5"2 <3
/u/imnidades [5"2 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 24 22:10:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vw7c4/just_wanted_to_share_my_thinspo_shes_52_3/
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https://i.redd.it/mmvnksk47thz.jpg
[Discussion] How do you pronounce "CICO" when you read it in your head?
/u/InSkyLimitEra [5' 7.25" | CW (In PHP) | LW 105 | HW 180 | 30 F]
Created: Thu Aug 24 21:49:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vw3pm/how_do_you_pronounce_cico_when_you_read_it_in/
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...because I hear it like "psycho," and that is just so fitting.
Edit: WOW, a much wider variety than even I expected! 😄
[Rant/Rave] Forever Alone (rant?)
/u/PokemonJohto
Created: Thu Aug 24 21:47:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vw3f5/forever_alone_rant/
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Having a rough night, just want some support so I can maybe stop crying. I know I'm a fucked up human but I can love too, right? I've been in love with someone for the past 3 years that has only hurt me. Why do I let this happen, I don't know. A few months ago he said didn't want to talk to me anymore and it was the hardest thing to experience but life goes on I guess. A few weeks ago he kind of cane back into my life and I thought things were different this time. Tonight I brought up that I didn't want to be just his fuck buddy and then he told me we're not hanging out anymore. I am absolutely crushed, my chest hurts and I've been crying my eyes out. I'm alone yet again. Just a week ago he said he loved my body and that I was "perfect" for him. I had a taste of happiness, but only temporarily. At least now I can fast all weekend. Forever alone....in this cold world...
[Discussion] Post Your Skincare Routine!!
/u/fluidbitch [5'7" | -25 | NB]
Created: Thu Aug 24 21:43:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vw2mq/post_your_skincare_routine/
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This should be fun for all of us! Please include products if you can, as somebody requested that when I suggested making this thread.
**AM Face**
*Salicylic Acid Face Wash (CVS Brand)
*AHA/BHA Toner, applied w/ bare hands (Elizavecca Fruit Hell Pore Toner)
*97% Hyaluronic Acid Serum (Elizavecca Hell Pore Control Hyaluronic Acid Serum)
*Vitamin C Serum (using some rando brand rn, have The Ordinary Vitamin C Suspension 23% + HA Spheres 2% to replace later)
*0.5% Salicylic Acid Solution (Murad, will replace with The Ordinary Salicylic Acid 2% Solution)
*10% Benzoyl Peroxide Spot Treatment (Target Generic)
*Sunscreen SPF 30 (Sun Bum, the only reason why I continue to use sunscreen every day is bc this stuff smells AMAZING imo)
**AM Body**
*Tea Tree Oil under breasts for skin infection
*Cocoa Butter around back of neck for acanthosis nigricans
**PM Face**
*Micellar Water with a cotton pad to remove eye makeup/whatever glittery bullshit I decided to slap on my face (Garnier brand)
*10% Benzoyl Peroxide Face Wash (Clean & Clear)
*10% Niacinamide and 1% Zinc Serum(The Ordinary Niacinamide 10% + Zinc 1%)
*Rose Hip Seed Oil (random TJ Maxx brand, will eventually buy The Ordinary one)
*80% Snail Cream (Elizavecca Milky Piggy Glutinous 80% Mask Snail Cream)
*Sleeping Pack if I'm feelin fancy/dehydrated (Etude House Bubble Tea Sleeping Pack)
*Eye serum (this fancy ass shiseido shit I got for free at sephora. makes you feel like a million bucks.)
*Eyelash serum (Etude House Lash Serum)
I'm probably forgetting some stuff, will update once I get home from work!
[Rant/Rave] Having no scale on holiday is killing me
/u/Deloony
Created: Thu Aug 24 21:42:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vw2l9/having_no_scale_on_holiday_is_killing_me/
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I'm trying so hard to work on my BED and since we're eating out I'm having to rely purely on eyeing up portions to assess if I'm eating an okay amount. Except I have no idea what an appropriate portion size of anything is anymore. I really want either a food scale or an actual scale here.
On top of that, I can't actually ask anyone else of what I'm eating is okay because I'm the smallest person here. I either fast after binges or do intense exercise so I maintain at about 130lbs at 5 foot 5. There's one other girl here who is maybe at a healthy BMI, but still bigger than me, and she told me not to sit next to her at the pool because I'm skinnier than her (a comment that I secretly loved, but have no idea what an appropriate response would be).
I'm not skinny by any means, but almost everyone else on this holiday is morbidly obese. Just. Argh. Food. Why does it have to be this difficult. I really want to go for a run but there's no gym here and I don't want to go running in a strange place at 5.30am.
[Discussion] Inability to purge
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 24 21:42:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vw2i5/inability_to_purge/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] :)))
/u/tacehtelle [5"6 | 119.5 | 19.61 :( | 6.5 lbs :( | Female]
Created: Thu Aug 24 21:30:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vw0hl/_/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Was there one moment when you truly realized you were disordered?
/u/-alostgirl-
Created: Thu Aug 24 21:26:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vvzuj/was_there_one_moment_when_you_truly_realized_you/
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I remember reading a trashy tabloid article about Alesya Kafelnikovna, a Russian model who is/was allegedly anorexic and is one of my biggest thinspo sources. I remember seeing the pictures of her in the article and thinking "Jesus Christ, I'd do anything to look like that".
Then I looked in the comment section and one said "She's a beautiful girl, but if you look like her or want to then you are sick and need help."
[Discussion] [Discussion] What medication nukes your emotions? Does it help with your ED?
/u/letstryforkarma
Created: Thu Aug 24 20:52:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vvtnk/discussion_what_medication_nukes_your_emotions/
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What medication nukes your emotions? Does it help with your ED?
Finally under 120 lbs c:
/u/Throwthrawsy
Created: Thu Aug 24 20:28:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vvpby/finally_under_120_lbs_c/
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http://imgur.com/a/1I0JA
[Thinspo] 😍😍
/u/fat-piece-of-shit
Created: Thu Aug 24 20:14:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vvmt9/_/
---
https://i.redd.it/s507wd4cmshz.jpg
[Discussion] How do you guys make it through a LONG work day when you're sleep deprived on minimal calories?
/u/grapefr00ti [5'7" | 21.85 | GW133 | 23F]
Created: Thu Aug 24 20:02:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vvkmm/how_do_you_guys_make_it_through_a_long_work_day/
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So I have been getting about four hours of sleep a night. I know that's the main issue and i'm working on it. I also fast until around 5 it's the only way I can get away with eating less than 1000 calories in a day.
However, I got an AMAZING opportunity to work for a couple days at a prospective job that I reallyyyyy want. I didn't eat today and I could really feel myself fading and I'm afraid they're going to notice.
Tomorrow I have to work a full day at my normal job (they don't know about me working at the other shop) and then drive immediately over and work for another five hours.
So my question is what do yall eat throughout the day on minimal calories/ sleep to avoid getting spacey/ tired? Like carbs or proteins and how often/ much? Besides caffeine obviously hahaha
Also thank you guys so fucking much for all of your support I would go crazy without you. 💕
[Other] Bear Surgery
/u/RichardStarrkey [6'0 | CW:62kg | 19.4 | GW:58kg | M]
Created: Thu Aug 24 19:32:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vvewn/bear_surgery/
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[removed]
[Help] How do i beat the sleepiness?
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Thu Aug 24 18:55:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vv7rx/how_do_i_beat_the_sleepiness/
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can't flair due to mobile, sorry. So every couple months i gain weight and relapse. Here i am 2 day fast for the first time in 5 months. Working and go to school full time. Coffee helps but im still a zombie. Im cranky and tired. Is it even possible to get more energy without consuming energy lol. Help.
[Thinspo] Can I just say how obsessed I am with @gorillaagirl on ig?
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Thu Aug 24 18:41:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vv575/can_i_just_say_how_obsessed_i_am_with/
---
https://i.redd.it/5p8wyx6u5shz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Does anyone else here have literally no friends?
/u/sunshinexxx1
Created: Thu Aug 24 18:24:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vv203/does_anyone_else_here_have_literally_no_friends/
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and you have no friends because your self-esteem is so low that you feel like if you put yourself out there, no one will like you anyway because you are fat and disgusting, so you avoid socializing altogether. and because your sense of self-worth is so trash and you feel like everyone is judging you for every little thing, it affects your irl mannerisms, and you are so self-conscious of yourself 24/7 that you become awkward af around others, so no one wants to go near you anyway. and since you are lonely, you focus all your energy on food restriction instead because you feel like being thin = self-confidence and popularity... but at the same time, food is your only friend and comfort, so you are forever stuck in a cycle of restricting and binging.
I haven't talked to anyone in like a week and I think I'm going crazy. if I get to my UGM and I'm still a socially awkward dork, I think I will actually off myself.
[Discussion] College grocery list?
/u/xwer15 [5'5| 142.6 | -18| GW:100| F]
Created: Thu Aug 24 18:15:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vv01s/college_grocery_list/
---
I'm moving into my first apartment next week so for the first time in my life I'll be buying my own groceries. I'm basically broke so I would like to spend as little money as possible and get somewhat full form the least amount of calories possible. I probably won't be buying meat because it grosses me out. So far the ideas I have are:
-minute brown rice
-canned beans
-frozen veggies
-frozen fruit
-spy sauce for flavor
-oatmeal
-baby carrots
-rice cakes
-seltzer
Any other ideas? If you also have any ideas for quick and cheap meals lmk! Thanks!
[Tip] For those of you that like hummus
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 196 lb | GW: 120 lb | 22F]
Created: Thu Aug 24 17:52:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vuv6k/for_those_of_you_that_like_hummus/
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Baba ganoush! Whole Foods has baba ganoush for 25 cal/oz, basically half as much as hummus- I think It was like $6/lb. Or you can make it yourself, super easy! (I'd probably replace any olive oil with water) It's very filling, tastes good, and I like it better than hummus honestly.
[Discussion] EDs and intimacy?
/u/swagcat9000 [5'5" | 131 lbs | 21.8 | -37 | M |]
Created: Thu Aug 24 17:19:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vuorr/eds_and_intimacy/
---
Do any of you have problems with getting physically close to someone? Because I've been thinking about it and there's only one or two people I know who I'd sleep with and I've known them for literal years. I'm worried I won't be able to have a normal dating/sex life because I'm unwilling to be open with myself, physically and mentally.
[Discussion] suggestions for a warm cuppa! :)
/u/slimmer_lite [5'5" | 125 | 21.5 | GW: 118 | UGW: 110]
Created: Thu Aug 24 15:54:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vu6q9/suggestions_for_a_warm_cuppa/
---
Can't wait for fall because of TEA. all the types. all the time. Just makes me feel full and satisfied and calm! I probably drink a gallon of hot tea every day once the weather turns autumn-y. So good for hydration AND cravings AND warming up my consistently cold-dead hands. Plus tea is so good for you!! And you can Kermit-the-frog judge people over the rim of a steaming cup.
Here are my favorite types:
-white earl grey (really smooth and creamy and delicious with almond milk)
-jasmine green pearls (so pretty when they open and yummy smelling plus you can steep the leaves multiple times!)
-gen maicha (green tea steeped with roasted rice grains... I find it especially good when I want toast or carbs)
-super spicy chai mix (also drink this one with a splash of milk and a tiny bit of honey)
Anyone got suggestions for me???? I NEED TO ADD TO MY MOUNTAINOUS COLLECTION OF TEA BAGS
~on mobile, can't flair. plz tag appropriately! thx bbs~
[Rant/Rave] Lord, what have I done?
/u/MariaCaterina [5'5'' | CW 124 | BMI 20.88 | -36 lbs | 20F]
Created: Thu Aug 24 15:09:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vtw98/lord_what_have_i_done/
---
CW: Pussing out, blubbering like a baby, scattered thoughts
Sitting in my new single in my new dorm room right now. Feeling c o m p l i c a t e d. During this emotionally intense, very isolated summer, I've been shedding weight like...I don't know. A winter coat. I'm right now the lightest I've been since puberty. Close enough to UGW that I can almost touch it.
And I'm not happy. The more I stare down at the lifetime of gruesome ritual necessary to stay here, the more panicked and trapped I feel.
My mom has been begging me to go back into therapy. I put her off for months, telling her I'd look into what Student Health Services had to offer when I moved back to the city.
Today was Move-In. And I called. I was only trying to find a way to get my prescriptions renewed, at first, but to make an appointment with Student Psychiatry I needed a referral from Counseling Services. And then I ended up talking to the man, who was very kind, and who advised me to set up an appointment for a physical, post-haste, and gave me the numbers of a few local therapists (University Counseling is supposed to be on a "provisional basis," he said, due to the volume of people who need their attention, and this is not a provisional problem).
He assigned me a "care manager" to make sure I follow through.
I just called the psych hospital that I went to when I was in a higher level of care. I requested an assessment.
I am so scared. I don't know if I want this. I was scrolling through Facebook the other night and I realized that this girl I used to know from treatment died in January. Since then, I've been frightened that every ache, every twinge, is an organ failing. I'm frightened that I might be next.
I don't want to be dead, I just want to be not-fat.
I hate this so much. I hate who I am these days: whining, cringing, hand-wringing, hypochondriac, paranoid, wavering, irresolute, weak. Also: on edge, stretched, every nerve scraped raw. Exposed, like I have no way to protect myself from the outside world. Like I have no way to DEAL with the outside world.
I don't know that I ever did. I've been so fucked up for so long, spent so much of my life and my formative years with my head in the toilet that I never even learned.
*******
tfw you have so many f e e l i n g s and nobody to tell them to so you end up screaming them into the Internet void in long, rambling text posts. If there's anybody left still reading this, thanks. Your commiseration is appreciated. If you think I'm a pussy-ass bitch, please DON'T let me know.
[Discussion] What's something about EDs you had to learn the hard way?
/u/itszwee [5'3"| CW 163 lbs | -13 lbs | UGW 115 lbs | F ]
Created: Thu Aug 24 15:08:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vtw3k/whats_something_about_eds_you_had_to_learn_the/
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What's a problem that developed due to your ED that nobody ever warned you about? ex. I knew about the headaches, feeling cold, etc., but nobody ever warned me about the poop; the chronic constipation and diarrhea. Probably because it's too gross for the after school specials on ~~disordered eating behaviour~~ "crash diets".
is this safe?
/u/tidbit0118
Created: Thu Aug 24 15:03:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vtuzf/is_this_safe/
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[removed]
[Help] I can't breaking a fucking fast without binging.
/u/the-watermeloner [116.6 lbs | 5'4" | -2.4 lbs | 20.41 | 14f]
Created: Thu Aug 24 14:54:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vtsp4/i_cant_breaking_a_fucking_fast_without_binging/
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it's happened time and time again, almost all of August and most of July. I fast for one/two/three days, and at some point, I'll binge. If I schedule an exact time with an exact food, I can usually make it out to then, but then I can't sleep that night until I binge.
also, keto flu always scares the fuck out of me and I end up breaking if it gets too bad. maybe I should try eating keto _before_ starting a fast? buuuut that requires me being a responsible person... so maybe not :///
I'm just so sick of binging and fasting and binging and fasting. Lowest weight this month was 113.6; highest was 122.5. I'd really like to get below 115 (am currently 20ish hours into a fast), but I'm pretty sure I'll binge tomorrow.
I've tried to eat a somewhat healthy amount, but I always turn to fasting with the logic of "it'll be faster - you can do it this time!" while knowing inside that I can't.
maybe school starting on Monday will shake things up. anyone have suggestions as to how to make myself restrict, how to break a fast and avoid the inevitable binge, etc.?
I need an Ana buddy
/u/peachtreefarm
Created: Thu Aug 24 14:41:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vtpe7/i_need_an_ana_buddy/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Where are YOU at?
/u/tattoosandcoffeee [5'4 | GW 108 | -12]
Created: Thu Aug 24 14:22:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vtkn1/where_are_you_at/
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Hello lovelies <3 Just curious where abouts everyone is located! Also, interested in seeing if anyone is near me in good ol' midwest ,Indiana. I've never cared to open up about my struggles with anyone for the last decade, but now it seems appealing to have a friend to just share with and possible hang out with. :)
[Discussion] How long did it take you to get where you are today?
/u/iloveitosusumu [5'9" | CW166 | GW120 | BMI24.07 | 19F]
Created: Thu Aug 24 14:18:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vtjpn/how_long_did_it_take_you_to_get_where_you_are/
---
Whether you've gained or lost, are underweight or overweight, let's talk time:
* When did you first notice your disordered eating?
* What are some weight milestones in your life since then?
* What are some emotional milestones in your life since then?
* What was happening to you when you were at your high and low points?
* How is your disorder different compared to when it first started?
I think it's easy to forget we've all changed over time, even if it wasn't weight loss (or gain), because of our EDs. I'm hoping this can be a reminder that despite that, we've come far and are at a greater point in our lives, or that things can always get better.
[Discussion] What are you looking forward to this weekend?
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Thu Aug 24 14:06:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vtgun/what_are_you_looking_forward_to_this_weekend/
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I'm struggling with intrusive thoughts about my weekend training schedule and post training eatallthefoods to compensate for weekly deficit. But, I'm trying to focus on the positive. When I complete my last training activity it's an indescribable feeling and then I finally allow myself to enjoy some damn food (albeit with stress but it's a relief from every other day of the week). It's like 2 days of not beating my body up so it's a delight to look forward to.
What are you looking forward to amid the feeling rotten of ED moments?
[Rant/Rave] My body literally makes NO SENSE
/u/coffeejournalist
Created: Thu Aug 24 13:58:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vtf09/my_body_literally_makes_no_sense/
---
So bear with me here, this might be long.
I weigh a lot. Like a lot, a lot. I'm 5'5" and weigh 172 pounds. From what it sounds like, I should be pretty large, correct? WRONG. I mean, I think I'm big, but literally my size 8 jeans fall off of me. I wear a small-medium in shirts. My measurements aren't big, besides my hips!
My band size is a 32, my waist is 27 inches, and my hips are 40. I'm just mad because I know that even when I LOOK tiny, I'll still weigh like 125 😔 my lowest weight ever was 124. I only ate between 300-500 calories a day. I wore a size 1 in jeans and an XS in tops.
Does anyone ever feel this way? Seriously I just want to be underweight but idk if my body ever can be? Is this a whole other lever of fucked up where I'm not satisfied just looking skinny, but I want to literally weigh like I'm tiny????
[Thinspo] Fave Instagram Thinspo. She's my height and Goal weight <3
/u/Books_N_Coffee [24F| CW 128 | SW 137| UGW 105]
Created: Thu Aug 24 13:54:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vtdzi/fave_instagram_thinspo_shes_my_height_and_goal/
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https://i.redd.it/o78eoglkqqhz.jpg
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Thu Aug 24 13:43:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vtb6x/daily_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/pwxxnjcloqhz.jpg
[Help] Request?
/u/apotatosaladfan
Created: Thu Aug 24 13:32:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vt8o6/request/
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Does anyone have any thinspo with stats? Thinspo for short girls? Etc?
I'm sorry if the request is strange, but pretty much all the thinspo I see here is of very, very tall models. The short girls would appreciate something reasonable to aim for that doesn't include growing a foot 😂
[Help] Hair falling out?
/u/naughtynugget [5' 3" | CW 120 | 21.3 | GW 110 | UGW 100 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 24 13:24:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vt6sh/hair_falling_out/
---
How did you know the difference between normal hair falling out vs. it being an actual side effect of restriction? I feel like I'm looking for it now so I'm super paranoid but it could just be the normal amount of shedding I do as a girl with long hair.
Also, what do y'all do to prevent this?
[Help] in crisis mode over my stupid swim team
/u/negative_delta [5'9.5" | CW 143.2 | 20.4 | GW 130 | 20F]
Created: Thu Aug 24 13:03:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vt1oy/in_crisis_mode_over_my_stupid_swim_team/
---
cw: a lot of weird thoughts and maybe self harm. so I'm not even sure if this is about disordered eating but I feel like it's all sort of connected and I just need to get it out somehow in the vain hope that someone will have advice.
I'm supposed to be one of the swim team captains for this coming year but I just can't do it. Competing gives me so much anxiety, I hate feeling like I'm on display, I hate having panic attacks in the locker room, I hate being so worn out that I fall asleep while trying to do my homework after practice. Yet somehow I can't quit, because most of my friends are swim friends and I know they'll look down on me or stop talking to me completely, because as a captain I'm supposed to be dedicated to this team.
Last year there was a girl who got injured halfway through the season and had to stop swimming but still came to meets to cheer everyone else on. Everyone loved her. Everyone understood why she couldn't swim. And this is reason #19305 why I wish mental illnesses were treated like physical ones because nobody will make you swim with bronchitis but if you're having a panic attack why don't you just calm down and get back in the pool, you weak bitch.
So I don't know what to do. I hate both of the options. As fucked up as it is, I've thought a lot about injuring myself somehow, thought about jumping off somewhere that won't kill me but will break an ankle or something. If I could injure myself badly enough to not be able to swim, but somehow make it look like an accident, then everyone would understand me not swimming. When I was little I used to hit myself really when I did something wrong, so maybe this would just be a weird continuation of that. Like punishing myself for not being able to handle swimming, while also giving myself a way out.
And I've thought– what if I could make myself thin enough as to be obviously unhealthy? Everyone says I look "super fit" right now. If I literally fasted until I was underweight it would only take me three weeks, but I don't know at what point people would notice and "fit" would become "unhealthily thin". And I don't know if they'd expect me to swim anyways. It's a stupid idea, but disordered brain says to do it. But maybe I'm being a wannarexic and that's really gross and bad? But I've also had disordered eating behavior for ages without even throwing swimming into the mix? I honestly just don't know what to do and I wish someone would tell me.
[Rant/Rave] "But you don't even look like you've lost weight!"
/u/carlems [5'1| CW: 102,2 | GW: 94 | -18]
Created: Thu Aug 24 12:59:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vt0kl/but_you_dont_even_look_like_youve_lost_weight/
---
Was talking to my stepmom about my periods that have been gone for over 6 months now. She said that it could be some disease and that I should take blood tests. I tell her that I already have and they came out perfectly good, and then without a thought say: "I guess it could be because I've lost weight", just because no one in my family has ever said anything about it and I find it sorta strange.
Her response? "Oh, what? But you don't even look like you've lost any weight!"
Yeah, only almost 20 pounds....I feel terrible because I was really chubby before starting to lose weight (still chubby lol, but less) so if she doesn't see any difference, that must mean people still see me as really chubby...ugh I don't know I just have felt terrible ever since hearing that. I guess it's time for fasting (and then binging 30000 calories couple days later!!)
[Other] I like to wear dresses to work so I can go to the bathroom and inspect my entire body multiple times throughout the day 🙃
/u/lock-box
Created: Thu Aug 24 12:32:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vsu9b/i_like_to_wear_dresses_to_work_so_i_can_go_to_the/
---
I KNOW one of these days I'm gonna forget to lock the door
[Discussion] Purposefully triggering myself
/u/coffeexsmokes
Created: Thu Aug 24 12:15:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vspvg/purposefully_triggering_myself/
---
Lately I've been trying to get back into the swing of restriction. I had a health scare that cause me to gain a few pounds, and even though it was just 5lbs it was too much. Had a nervous breakdown and stopped trying to recover. Instead now I find myself purposefully seeking out triggers (for example To The Bone makes me competitive af and I don't know why).
Just curious if I was the only one here fucked up enough to purposefully be triggering myself?
Edit: on mobile, forgot to flair as discussion
[Help] Fuck it. I'm going to lose weight no matter what. There's just one problem.
/u/AdloraOfSolitude [5'2 | CW:109.6 | -10 lbs UGW: 90 lbs | Female]
Created: Thu Aug 24 12:04:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vsn6i/fuck_it_im_going_to_lose_weight_no_matter_what/
---
And that is my therapist. I fear that if I begin losing weight she will kick me out. If that happens, it will be almost impossible to find a new therapist and I will probably have to look outside of my city. And I need talk therapy to discuss non-ed issues.
I hate this situation to death, but my gosh I just don't care about that right now. I NEED to get to 100 pounds by the end of October, and I know I can with Just a little determination. But she'll be weighing me every week, and she makes me remove my shoes. I can try stuffing my bra and panties little bit, but that's not gonna help a ton since I have to lose 10 pounds.
The fact of the matter is that I'm gonna have to lose weight in full view of my shrink, and I'm going to need a reason why that isn't an obvious excuse like, "I had a stomach virus last week" (for seven weeks?) but also isn't openly defiant so she won't throw me out. I'm thinking of going with "I'm having so many panic attacks at the idea of more food that I just fucking can't. Sorry." because it's somewhat outside of my control and doesn't scream defiance. And it's also kinda true. But I don't know if she'll accept that. Motherfucker, why can I just not disappear for a couple months and come back skinny? Christ, I hate this.
[Rant/Rave] If you want to throw up every time you see yourself in the mirror, clap your hands!
/u/mumbling_abomination [5'7 | CW: 180 lbs | 28 | UGW: 110 lbs | 🐌]
Created: Thu Aug 24 11:25:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vsduj/if_you_want_to_throw_up_every_time_you_see/
---
The longer this goes on, the more tiring it gets.
If I have to get out of the house and, god forbid, talk to other people, it usually takes up to 3-4 hours just to convince myself to do it. No matter how baggy my clothes are, no matter how much time I spend on my hair & makeup, I still hate that version of myself that's looking back at me.
I just want to take a knife and cut out all of this loose, flabby skin, cut out all the fat, and then, *maybe*, feel a bit less disgust towards myself.
I feel like no matter what I do, nothing's gonna change. And it's driving me mad.
Sorry for ranting and thank you for reading, if you did read all of this. Hope your evening goes better than mine.
[Goal] So fucking close guys. So. Fucking. Close.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 24 11:13:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vsb5z/so_fucking_close_guys_so_fucking_close/
---
http://i.imgur.com/KPytKKN.png
[Discussion] Models We Love
/u/functionalatbest
Created: Thu Aug 24 10:59:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vs7hp/models_we_love/
---
I'm looking to get more thinspo on my instagram feed but don't want it to be obvious to my friends/family that I'm following people for that reason, so I don't want to follow any actual "thinspo" accounts.
Soooooo, who are your favourite/most inspiring models/celebrities/random people/etc, and what are their instagram handles?
[Intro] New here
/u/elliotte-mckinnon [23F | 5'6 | CW:160 |BMI 25| GW: 135 | UGW: 110| -205lbs]
Created: Thu Aug 24 10:29:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vs032/new_here/
---
I've recently stumbled upon this subreddit after looking for support without pressure for treatment. I've been in the background for a few days now, mostly afraid to post. I was too embarrassed to actually do my flair. But I see how supportive everyone is here, honestly it's the best ED community I've seen. Everyone seems so wonderful and non judgmental. (that's the general consensus of how most people on this sub feel too from what I've read) Anyways, I just wanted to say hey and hopefully be a part of this community instead of just reading all the time.
A little about me:
Currently not looking to go back to treatment,
Tried recovery at every level of care (shout out to Walden) from age 19-22, feeling fed up and stuck after being a year "recovered" and having gained +40 pounds since I left treatment.
Taking control of my life and body again.
[Other] ED instagram accounts?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 24 10:27:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vrzn3/ed_instagram_accounts/
---
[deleted]
[Help] [Help]Do I have an eating disorder? It is really concerning me.
/u/mynameisnotbecky1
Created: Thu Aug 24 10:23:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vrymu/helpdo_i_have_an_eating_disorder_it_is_really/
---
[removed]
[Thinspo] Obsessed with this model at the moment
/u/fat-piece-of-shit
Created: Thu Aug 24 10:06:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vruj5/obsessed_with_this_model_at_the_moment/
---
https://i.redd.it/r9uu9vlulphz.jpg
[Thinspo] Thinspo
/u/fat-piece-of-shit
Created: Thu Aug 24 09:59:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vrsq8/thinspo/
---
https://i.redd.it/8vplkiemkphz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Food as a self-harm mechanism, Depression destroys routines, I'm completely stuck
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64" | 119# | 20.9 BMI | -104# | F]
Created: Thu Aug 24 09:10:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vrgwa/food_as_a_selfharm_mechanism_depression_destroys/
---
If I was a normal person I'd be too depressed to eat. But I'm not normal. So I eat to hurt myself. Or at least I have a compulsion to, anyway. The doctors upped my meds. I'm even more miserable. The mood stabilizer has stabilized my mood slightly. Instead of feeling like shit half the time, I now feel like shit all the time. SUCCESS.
I'm too depressed to preportion my food. I'm afraid of losing all control if I start eating. I don't want to eat at all. But I know I'm going to.
I used to have a routine. I don't anymore. Almost everything in my life is in chaos and I can't control anything. How do I maintain control while I'm spiraling out of it? I know I'm just going to use the increased depression as an excuse to not eat. But I hate myself so FUCKING MUCH right now that I'm having a hard time resisting the urge to choke myself to death with food. I don't deserve to eat, I know that. I don't think that I deserve food.
I'm like the parent that catches their kid smoking a cigarette and then forces the kid to smoke an entire carton of cigarettes. I should be locked up.
Oh, wait. I was.
Lot of fucking good that did. I'm still a piece of shit. I'm still defective. I'm still trapped in a body that isn't mine. The only thing being locked up in the nuthouse did was increase my financial debt and confirm that I am beyond help for reasons outside EDNOS.
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Kinda trigger warning for self harm discussion?
/u/scribbledoll [5'0'' | 136.2 |27.9 | IDK | Girl? Ish?]
Created: Thu Aug 24 08:47:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vrbnj/rant_kinda_trigger_warning_for_self_harm/
---
Sorry if this doesn't belong here. I'm not really sure if I have an eating disorder, or if I'm just "extreme dieting" ... and failing at it. I dunno. I'm not thin enough to be diagnosed so IDK.
But since I've been "trying to lose weight" I've started kinda using food and eating as a kind of self harm? Like I sabotage myself to punish myself and I hate it. I wish I was like an ex-friend of mine who didn't eat as their way if self harm and they talked about how little they ate, and how thin they were and stuff like that. I think seeing them say those things probably made this whole slope a bit slippery-er, maybe IDK. I'm not friends with them anymore for unrelated
But I'm tired of using eating and food as a self harm!! It's too effective and I hate it!! I wish I could be productive with my self harm and not eat!! That kinda sounds silly, like of COURSE self harm isn't going to be something I "like" doing, because the nature of it is to punish, and who punishes themselves with good things?
Sorry I'm just rambling and all over the place. I bought a bunch of lettuce and apples and less spicy dressing, but I haven't eaten any of it because I want to self sabotage and eat other things so I can hate myself even more later on. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. I have such a long way to go still and I've been kinda plateau-ing between 136-138 and I gotta get back into eating less so I can lose more and I have to cling to something. I hate being hungry, I need to either see it as a good thing and embrace it, or see it as a horrible thing and use it as a self harm method. It's hard, and it's just too easy to get up and eat, like I could just get up while I'm not thinking. I have to think about not getting up, but focusing on food and eating makes me hungrier anyway, so it gets harder to ignore and ughhhh!
Sorry for rambling! Hope you have a great day!
[Rant/Rave] Back and Forth
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 24 08:41:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vra5k/back_and_forth/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] RANT! Why don't companies put nutrition information online!?
/u/mamaimabiggirlnow [5'7 | -17 pounds |CW 283 | UGW 150 | 26 female]
Created: Thu Aug 24 08:37:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vr9f6/rant_why_dont_companies_put_nutrition_information/
---
We use Walmart Grocery Pick Up (which is fantastic by the way), which means I can sit on my computer and meticulously select every single item we purchase. I can mull over my options for hours and not actually stand in the store life a lunatic. It's peachy.
Sometimes Walmart has the nutrition information listed. When they don't, no big deal! I just go to the manufacturers website. I watch my carbs, so this is very important. Once in a while, I get to the manufacturers website, click on the product, and come to realize they have no nutritional info on their website at all.
WTF. What do you fuckers think people are coming to your damn website for? To admire the fucking photo of tilapia? You have the fucking website, so just use it so I can buy your shit!!!
[Discussion] August 24th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [27F | 5'5 | 125 lb | 21.05 | GW 110 | UGW 105 ]
Created: Thu Aug 24 08:08:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vr2r0/august_24th_2017_question_of_the_day/
---
What is your recipe for creativity?
(??? Again, idk what this means)
[Help] I NEED to be triggered. Anorexia will be all I have left.
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64" | 119# | 20.9 BMI | -104# | F]
Created: Thu Aug 24 07:41:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vqx3g/i_need_to_be_triggered_anorexia_will_be_all_i/
---
[removed]
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support August 24, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Aug 24 06:11:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vqfde/weekly_emotional_support_august_24_2017/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 24, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Aug 24 06:10:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vqf9q/daily_food_diary_august_24_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 24, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] Too fat to have an ED?
/u/smange719
Created: Thu Aug 24 04:54:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vq25u/too_fat_to_have_an_ed/
---
So I've struggled with disordered eating for about 5 years and low self esteem relating to my body my whole life, but I feel like it's all in my head or my illness isn't valid because I'm fat. I don't want to say exactly how much I weigh because I'm ashamed but my BMI is in the obese category for my height. This is extremely stressful for me because not only am I bad at losing weight but then it also means I'm bad at having an ED and it makes it feel like my problems aren't real because "fat people can't have eating disorders". Does anyone else feel like this?
[Thinspo] Perfect stomach
/u/-M00nFlower
Created: Thu Aug 24 03:52:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vpt6o/perfect_stomach/
---
https://i.redd.it/searbgs2rnhz.jpg
[Intro] Long time lurker
/u/EchoTReddit
Created: Thu Aug 24 02:26:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vph8j/long_time_lurker/
---
hey
i'm echo
5"1, 44kg
gw: 40kg
[Thinspo] My idea of literal perfection.
/u/fat-piece-of-shit
Created: Thu Aug 24 02:12:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vpfb5/my_idea_of_literal_perfection/
---
https://i.redd.it/bziipdt99nhz.jpg
[Thinspo] My 46 pound weight loss @69 inches tall
/u/Iguessthelastone
Created: Thu Aug 24 00:53:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vp4t9/my_46_pound_weight_loss_69_inches_tall/
---
http://imgur.com/a/ta3Ol
Decided to doodle my regular calorie sources... none are happy.
/u/HangryHangryHedgehog
Created: Thu Aug 24 00:03:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6voxxn/decided_to_doodle_my_regular_calorie_sources_none/
---
http://i.imgur.com/GHs2nS2.jpg
[Rant/Rave] One of the very few pros of having bulimia when ill.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW 145.0 | UGW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 23 23:11:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6voq4z/one_of_the_very_few_pros_of_having_bulimia_when/
---
Being able to use my 'eject button'.
I've had bronchitis for almost 2 weeks now. It's made me a bit dizzy and very nauseous. I just ate a meal and felt the nausea kick in. Breaking out in a sweat, feeling hot, everything. But nothing happened. I tried to wait it out and it stayed.
I decided 'fuck it' and threw everything up myself. I feel 100% better. I haven't b/p-ed in weeks and am not counting this as a set back.
But sheesh, it's hard not to fix the problem when you have the solution right there.
[Discussion] DAE eat more around that time of month?
/u/Polarplaid
Created: Wed Aug 23 22:29:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6voj97/dae_eat_more_around_that_time_of_month/
---
Usually about a week before my cycle starts I will eat alot more and have less control over my binges.
[Rant/Rave] Four day binge-a-thon has ended.
/u/Violets11 [170cm | CW: Fat | GW: 50KG | F | -6KG]
Created: Wed Aug 23 22:20:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vohoo/four_day_bingeathon_has_ended/
---
I've finally broken my extended binge, but I've gained back like 2-3 kilos in the meantime :( I'm really fucking depressed about starting. It all started with an unhealthy ice-cream by hubby bought, coupled with Hershey's sauce I just caved. Then came the grilled cheeses, then came processed meats, then came bacon, more ice cream, bacon and ice cream, cheese and like over 3000kcal a day!
I just... I couldn't fucking **think** during this time. All I did was eat, I couldn't *taste* anything and I just felt the feeling of my stomach getting bigger and bigger. I didn't think about my GW, I didn't think about the desire to be skinny, I just wanted to eat and that terrifies me. My brain switched off and only today coming back to work can I finally gain some control.
I'm so god-damn ashamed. Very tempted to buy some lax and go nuts starting Friday evening :( I hate starting in the obese range, I wish I wasn't such a fat fuck
[Discussion] TMI - potty talk
/u/tresliz [5"7 | too much | [redacted] | ~25 lost | Female]
Created: Wed Aug 23 22:13:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6voghd/tmi_potty_talk/
---
Hokay so a week of liquids and semisolid foods left me high and dry for... 5 days. No poo. Nothing. Laxative tea taken, fiber shakes, nothing.
It just came out. All of it. In three sessions. Good god I feel so much better, and I'm super motivated to liquid fast tomorrow!!! I want to keep my body so empty like this! Anyone else in the same boat?
[Rant/Rave] [Rave/Rant] 15days of fasting
/u/sicksadcook [162| 48.9 |19.03 | GW47 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 23 21:16:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vo6ao/raverant_15days_of_fasting/
---
I fasted for 15days and now started breaking the fast with vegetable/fruit juices (beetroot, tomato).
Started my first glasses mixed with water.
When I got to the fourth glass (one every 3h) I drank the juice pure and felt like I had eaten too much.
Tomorrow I am going to drink less and diluted with water again.
I have this fear, that I somehow already enlarged my stomach too much and that I will then have more space to fill, more appetite. Something I want to avoid for as long as possible after having brought my stomach size down now for so many days... Because less food = less weight.
This is crazy.
[Rant/Rave] Fasting but not losing ugh!!!
/u/DirtyxVans [5'5 | CW 151 | GW110 | TF]
Created: Wed Aug 23 20:30:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vnxop/fasting_but_not_losing_ugh/
---
So this is like my 4th day of a fast, I only drink when I'm thirsty honestly so I don't drink that much water. I can't poop I feel it but it just won't happen when I try. I'm 5 lbs away from being in the 130s my first goal weight was 135 so I'm almost there I really want to break it, Im tired of feeling like im going to faint and not being able to stand up after sitting down, but I promised myself a 5 day fast. Also there are some chicken nuggets my family made that are staring me right in the face and I want some so so bad Halp pls!!!
[Rant/Rave] I WASNT IGNORED TODAY
/u/percussivesilence [5'7" | CW:180 | HW: 232 | | GW1: 175 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 23 20:15:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vnulx/i_wasnt_ignored_today/
---
i haven't seen anyone from college until maybe 25 pounds ago. today was my first day back on campus and this guy i used to have he biggest crush when he was my TA on interrupted a meeting (it was a meeting with our like fave professor im trying to get a research position cross your finger) i was in to give me a hug!!! (sidenite human contact is weirs) last time i saw him we had this awkward "hey how are u " and then avoid eye contact for the rest of the time
it was still kind of awkward because i didn't see him coming in or anything or expect the hug i thought he would fully ignore me but like idk feels good y'all
[Rant/Rave] What the hell, Walmart?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~55.6 | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Wed Aug 23 20:10:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vntrx/what_the_hell_walmart/
---
[I don't actually know of this is significant enough to warrent it's own post, but it ruffles my feathers and I can't complain to anyone else]
So I use 2 caffeine pills per day yeah? Yeah. And I'm running low, like 4 pills left...
Run to walmart to buy some and figure I'll just pick up some lax pills too since I've tried miralax and it's just not the same...
Go to self checkout because ehh human interaction, and I ring up the caffeine.
It's age restricted!
I'm like great now I have to go through this twice and the worker is gonna think Im a freak who only buys laxatives and caffeine.
....
LAXATIVES AREN'T AGE RESTRICTED BUT CAFFEINE IS!!
This fucking blows my mind away, I'm sorry.
[Other] Starting bronkaid for the first time
/u/andareavante
Created: Wed Aug 23 19:47:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vnp6p/starting_bronkaid_for_the_first_time/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] You're skinny (AKA the power of compliments)
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | SW: 130 | CW: 126 | GW: 115 | -4 lbs | 20F]
Created: Wed Aug 23 19:04:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vnggc/youre_skinny_aka_the_power_of_compliments/
---
So this afternoon, I drove out to visit one of my friends in the country. He took me with him to do some beekeeping and, as a stinging prevention measure, had to tie a beekeeper's helmet-thing (basically a big cage made of flexible net) around my head. Anyway, to tie on the helmet, he had to pull the strings beneath it tight around me and knot them through a loop near the chin. He had to pull the ropes around my abdomen/ribs a good three or four times, and as he pulled them tight, said, "Wow, you're skinny." (His were only looped around himself once.) Ever since then, I can't stop thinking about it. It definitely encourages me to keep restricting the way I have been this week; I'm achieving the effect I want. :)
Just thought I'd pass along the compliment to you all too. I know it might not be as effective from here as one in real life, but... You're skinny. Keep going.
[Other] $10 and 45 minutes of my time
/u/CandidTriceratops [ 5'5'' | 208.8 | 34.8 | -17lbs | M]
Created: Wed Aug 23 18:53:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vnecm/10_and_45_minutes_of_my_time/
---
I spent 45 minutes cutting up and portioning out various types of fruits into mixed bags and [this](http://imgur.com/a/x5qbo) is the result. Bad quality photo, but that is 16 individual bags with 100 calories in each. It costed me about $10 for everything. I then vaccum sealed all of the bags with a straw and my own lungs and put them all in the freezer.
[Help] Tips for purging in public?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 23 18:51:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vndsq/tips_for_purging_in_public/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Eating normally is worse than binging! FML 6lbs in two weeks
/u/TinyandLost [5'6 | Gross | BMI - OW | -13lbs | F]
Created: Wed Aug 23 18:22:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vn7uw/eating_normally_is_worse_than_binging_fml_6lbs_in/
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[removed]
[Help] Calories for a premixed cocktail thing
/u/befakehappy
Created: Wed Aug 23 17:39:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vmz1e/calories_for_a_premixed_cocktail_thing/
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Skinny girl brand margarhita(put a splash of pineapple juice in it, shits the bomb dot com) anyways like their premixed cocktails. How many calories are in it? im a little drunk rn so my googling skills are subpar and i cant figure it out
thank you so very much intermet lovelies
[Help] My hairs been falling out in the shower.
/u/kattykit5896 [5'3 | CW: 99 lbs | GW: 110 ]
Created: Wed Aug 23 17:10:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vmt2d/my_hairs_been_falling_out_in_the_shower/
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I'm scared I'm gonna get a bald patch, does anyone have any ideas on how to prevent this?
[Goal] Fat Families
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Wed Aug 23 17:09:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vmsv7/fat_families/
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I've made it part of my daily routine to watch Fat Families to remind myself why I do this.
The dizziness is worth it
The nausea is worth it
The hunger pain and bad breath from not eating is worth it
I'm worth it because I can't be like them. I've wasted so much time being fat and disgusting.
I do this for me.
[Rant/Rave] sudden cravings
/u/tresliz [5"7 | too much | [redacted] | ~25 lost | Female]
Created: Wed Aug 23 17:05:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vmrwi/sudden_cravings/
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oh dear god I could so go for some velveeta mac n cheese right now. If there were 2,000 boxes of it in my house right now I think I'd eat 100 at a time then throw up and repeat. I need velveeta mac and cheese. -SOBS-
I'm out of calories for the day! Out! I'm over my 1k limit already and it's only 4 PM!
what are you craving? -curls up into a ball and licks salt-
[Rant/Rave] Just binged
/u/Polarplaid
Created: Wed Aug 23 16:47:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vmo2c/just_binged/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Vacation time is over, time to get back to business.
/u/CassTheUltimateBA [5'10 | 144.6 | 20.6 | 75 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 23 16:13:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vmgh0/vacation_time_is_over_time_to_get_back_to_business/
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It wasnt *really* a vacation, but my brother was home for 11 days before he deployed for 3 years. So we ate a LOT of food. Then my boyfriend and I went to his parents for a couple days, who made soooo much food. His mom cooked brat wurst just for me!
Im 146.2 now. Gotta get back to business ans lose this shit
[Rant/Rave] I'm just greedy
/u/little-paws
Created: Wed Aug 23 15:30:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vm6qi/im_just_greedy/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Tried being a normal person. It did not go well.
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Wed Aug 23 14:41:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vlv3f/tried_being_a_normal_person_it_did_not_go_well/
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It was such a beautiful, warm day today. I've been meaning to get my car washed and detailed, and was feeling unusually energetic, so I figured I may as well do it myself! I used to have no problem washing cars with my dad when I was a kid, so how hard could it be to do alone?
2 hours later and with a measly 394 calories burnt, I have both passed out and thrown up, and am currently curled up on the hardwood floor, in a bikini, double-fisting mini bottles of Powerade Zero.
I am never doing anything physical ever again.
[Help] How can i get back to 45kg?
/u/elevenosix__
Created: Wed Aug 23 14:23:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vlqk8/how_can_i_get_back_to_45kg/
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[removed]
[Help] Giving up a safe food
/u/Castoroilexperiment [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Wed Aug 23 14:10:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vlne4/giving_up_a_safe_food/
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I don't even want to explain how my life came to this, but I eat an entire cabbage a day. I want to stop. I have been doing it for maybe 6 months, I think longer.
[Discussion] DAE buy a bunch of low cal food and then avoid it?
/u/Books_N_Coffee [24F| CW 128 | SW 137| UGW 105]
Created: Wed Aug 23 13:54:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vljfe/dae_buy_a_bunch_of_low_cal_food_and_then_avoid_it/
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Like I will go out and buy a bunch of veggies and fruits and rice crackers to snack on, and then be too terrified to eat any of them. I have rice cakes I bought like 2 weeks ago that are still unopened..
[Discussion] The Facebook group that didn't work out. I'm sorry you guys.
/u/Manko_Mochi [5'2'' | 120.4 lbs | 22.02 | -4 lbs lbs | F]
Created: Wed Aug 23 13:36:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vlf6z/the_facebook_group_that_didnt_work_out_im_sorry/
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Hey everyone! I posted here a while ago about creating a Facebook group and adding people however, it was too difficult to add some. People weren't getting my invitations, the group was kept private so no one else could see it, people never responded etc.
To those who sent me their info I've tried adding you but people kept saying they never received it. I'm sorry about all the trouble and confusion so I'm going to delete the group. I have not been the best mod. My kid keeps me busy and tired as hell. Maybe one day once I get more free time to be more organized I will create another.
Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well. If you have any concerns, feel free to message me. I meant to address this sooner and I'm sorry I didn't.
[Rant/Rave] Small victories
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 105.0 | 19.20 | -30 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 23 13:28:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vld7a/small_victories/
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I was under my daily cals by almost 500 and my boyfriend was trying to convince me to eat something else. He asked if I wanted more, said he knew I was still hungry. And every time he asked me if I wanted something to eat, I kept thinking yes over and over but didn't say anything until I rethought the situation - I'm so close to being under 100, that's what I want. I want to be under 100.
So no food for tonight.
[Rant/Rave] Currently pooping my brains out at work
/u/naughtynugget [5' 3" | CW 120 | 21.3 | GW 110 | UGW 100 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 23 13:25:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vlcis/currently_pooping_my_brains_out_at_work/
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I ate a bunch of shit last night so dumb, drunken me decided to lax even though I work a double today. Usually there's two bartenders and it's pretty dead so I wasn't too worried. Apparently there's a huge party coming in tonight so they pulled the other bartender to help with food and it's just me by myself all night with nobody to cover while I um... "take a break". And of course it just now hits me. Lol RIP me hopefully I don't shat myself at work!!!!
[Other] Eating knocks me out, I hate food! 😔
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Wed Aug 23 12:42:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vl1vx/eating_knocks_me_out_i_hate_food/
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Was doing great restricting. Feeling good, food literally disgusts me, I am loving it. Any food over 400 is shockingly too much for 1 sitting in my brain, not stomach. What is this magic! Haven't been eating until dinner. Feeling great. Thennn.....
My work ran out of coffee, went to Starbucks, got a coffee and kind bar (180) pretty early but feeling okay.
Boyfriend made me go grocery shopping and got foods he knew I would eat and make. Noticed I'd been losing. Lots of juice and French toast ingredients ( my favorite) and ice cream. Spent two days or so consuming alll the juice( Orange and grapefruit) and French toast! I slept after each meal for around 7 hours, eating exhausts me. Like I can not stay awake after "normal meals" I feel sooooooo tired. He got mad that all I do is sleep.......I literally can not open my eyes. He means well but can not understand this and hates it's his life.
Have a half loaf of the 3 challah loafs we bought. I'll save it for dinner tonight! 1 meal day!
Took 14 lax last night to get rid of the food baby! Ughhh death morning!
Why did I do this to make someone else happy? I just want me and my disorder to be alone. I would feel great!
Sooo much more energy not eating. My body hates food, it must, to collapse like that after having it.
Does anyone else get like this?
Idk just had to type this.... no idea what to flair.
Just want me and Ana.