[Rant/Rave] Found my new breakfast and lunch
/u/Aprikoosi_flex [5'9" | cw 127 | gw 117 | ugw 110 | 25FπŸ’Ž]
Created: Wed Aug 23 12:34:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vkzyn/found_my_new_breakfast_and_lunch/

[Help] appetite suppressants that aren't ec stacks or caffeine?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18 | 22F]
Created: Wed Aug 23 12:19:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vkw5c/appetite_suppressants_that_arent_ec_stacks_or/

[Thinspo] This girl I went to high school with is my ultimate thinspo
Created: Wed Aug 23 11:51:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vkp4r/this_girl_i_went_to_high_school_with_is_my/

[Rant/Rave] disappointed when I don't QUITE puke after a workout
/u/JackSkeletal [5'7" | Male]
Created: Wed Aug 23 10:56:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vkb3a/disappointed_when_i_dont_quite_puke_after_a/
Wasn't even a long or hard workout. Tasted a surge of vomit and managed to swallow it.

Finished biking up the hill and collapsed into weird laughter.

I love biking because it burns calories and I fucking hate biking because it reminds me that I'm a fat turd who can barely haul my Texas-sized ass up a single stinking hill in 102-degree weather.

Going biking again later to get to ED therapist intake appointment. Forced down a normal-sized breakfast so I'd have energy to make the trip. Not quite sure whether I want it to stay down.

Please tag rant/rave.

[Discussion] Thinking of starting an EC stack after doing some research on this sub. Looking for tips.
Created: Wed Aug 23 10:52:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vk9zn/thinking_of_starting_an_ec_stack_after_doing_some/

[Discussion] Night eating
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1.5" | cw 159 | gw 145 | -11]
Created: Wed Aug 23 10:19:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vk27l/night_eating/
Heyyy so I was wondering if there is a scientific reason or something that makes binging at night such a huge issue for so many of us? I'm one more night time mini-binge from not allowing myself to eat in the evenings at all anymore. This isn't something I particularly want to do since it doesn't allow me to eat with my boyfriend except for on weekends, but whatever I have for dinner keeps turning into dinner + protein bars and fruit.

Is it because we're sleepy? I could see sleepiness affecting inhibition maybe? It's 11:20 am for me right now and the thought of food makes me sick, and I know that's going to do a complete 180 by tonight and I'm sick of being on this same rollercoaster every day.

[Discussion] Hungry at work
Created: Wed Aug 23 10:09:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vjzpf/hungry_at_work/
Hey guys, I used to be active on the sub but deleted my posts while I flirted briefly with recovery. Created a new account since I know some people here who still think I'm trying to recover. But the relapse is official and I give zero fucks.

Anyhow I was looking for tips on not being hungry at work. Usually I eat overnight oats for breakfast and a large black coffee. Any ideas on how to make those more filling? Also I think I need more caffeine to help me through the brain fog, but I don't want to be obviously downing Monster or Coke Zero at my desk. How do y'all solve these issues?

[Discussion] August 23rd, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [27F | 5'5 | 125 lb | 21.05 | GW 110 | UGW 105 ]
Created: Wed Aug 23 09:54:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vjvs2/august_23rd_2017_question_of_the_day/
Yes or no: Everyone should have a backup plan.

[Intro] [Intro] Lurker getting out of a shitty recovery
Created: Wed Aug 23 09:53:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vjvoo/intro_lurker_getting_out_of_a_shitty_recovery/

How the fuck have I gained so much weight?
Created: Wed Aug 23 09:30:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vjpy8/how_the_fuck_have_i_gained_so_much_weight/

[Help] How much is permanent weight??
/u/kaliolis [5'4 | CW: 51.1 KG | GW: 40 KG |19.4 | WL: 18.9 KG | F]
Created: Wed Aug 23 09:28:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vjpjc/how_much_is_permanent_weight/
So after binging HARD for a month I went from 51.1 kg to 58 kg asap like wtF even is that anyway I am going back on track now but I'm still really anxious about how much of that is water weight??? Like I need assurance as my mind is killing me slowly with these horrid thoughts

[Help] Desk Snacks
/u/oksneaky [CW:No | GW:114 | 5'3.5]
Created: Wed Aug 23 08:44:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vjf2x/desk_snacks/
Hey! Going to the store in a bit and I'm looking for quick snacks that you can keep in a drawer! I usually only have super carb heavy emergency desk snacks (oatmeal, crackers, popcorn, loaf of bread, mac and cheese cups, ALL bad carby things) and I REALLY want other options. I am going to get tuna packets, pickles, PB crackers (in 4 packs), and canned veggies. I have a scale at my desk, a microwave available in the break room and a can opener/all eating utensils available as well. I do have access to a fridge and will bring lunch in for the day, but these people steal all the time so I don't want to leave any snacks in there over night or for several days (I actually keep a dozen eggs in there every week because people don't steal raw eggs, so far, and I use a nordicware thing to make them so eggs are here as well).

EDIT: We technically can't have unpackaged food in our desks (bugs etc) but hard fruits would probably work!

Thanks for some new ideas so I can get out of this going to the cafe monotony or eating total crap because I'm so bored of green beans and eggs :) <3

[Thinspo] I started an instagram for high fashion thinspo. @hautethinture
Created: Wed Aug 23 08:41:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vjefe/i_started_an_instagram_for_high_fashion_thinspo/

[Rant/Rave] The Dreaded Doctor's Scale...
Created: Wed Aug 23 07:52:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vj3k7/the_dreaded_doctors_scale/
I swore I was losing some weight, or at least less bloated than usual. I went to the doctor and basically they have my BMI higher than I'm comfortable seeing, and it's making me so upset. Does anyone else experience this? I went in there for anxiety issues and this did not really help matters.

[Discussion] DAE get jealous of old ladies
/u/swagcat9000 [5'5" | 131 lbs | 21.8 | -37 | M |]
Created: Wed Aug 23 07:32:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6viz55/dae_get_jealous_of_old_ladies/
(question flair pls)

Okay I'm sorry if this is weird but I see more old ladies with thigh gaps than kids my age. And nobody ever pressures old ladies to eat more.

So my question is, DAE get jealous of weird things like this?

[Goal] A little over halfway to current GW, and wanted to share some pictures
Created: Wed Aug 23 07:32:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6viyzp/a_little_over_halfway_to_current_gw_and_wanted_to/

[Thinspo] Thinspiration 8.23
/u/TeenyBeanieWeenie [5'6 (66 in)| 127 lbs| 20 BMI | - 3 (This week) | F]
Created: Wed Aug 23 07:11:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6viun9/thinspiration_823/

[Thinspo] Goals on goals on goals on goals
Created: Wed Aug 23 06:59:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6visai/goals_on_goals_on_goals_on_goals/

[Thinspo] Her arm though😍
Created: Wed Aug 23 06:57:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6virr6/her_arm_though/

[Thinspo] Summer goal: to lie on the beach & NOT look like a whale...
Created: Wed Aug 23 06:53:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6viqx0/summer_goal_to_lie_on_the_beach_not_look_like_a/

[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 23, 2017
Created: Wed Aug 23 06:12:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vijgu/daily_food_diary_august_23_2017/
This is a daily food diary thread for August 23, 2017.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)

[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday August 23, 2017
Created: Wed Aug 23 06:10:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vij97/way_to_go_wednesday_august_23_2017/
This is the weekly achievement thread for August 23, 2017.

This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!


Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Intro] Long...but I'm back for a bit
Created: Wed Aug 23 06:07:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6viios/longbut_im_back_for_a_bit/
I deleted all my original posts here in fear I would be judged or they would be found by my husband during my pregnancy. I spent a lot of time on the babybumps subreddit and I for the most part was fairly healthy.

I was actually better. I've always hated my body, never seen it for what it was, until I got pregnant. And for once I loved my body and my bump. I gained weight, a little more than I should have but that was okay. It was for baby right?!

But then I had him. Then I was faced with the normal postpartum shock many new moms go through with their post baby bodies. My body was ruined, covered in stretch marks and disgusting layers of fat...

I weighed a whopping 194.8 lbs by the end of my pregnancy. Today I weigh 160.6 lbs at almost 3 months postpartum. 34 lbs down.

And for some reason it doesn't feel like enough. Not even close. I'm slipping back into old tendencies and habits, a lot of which I had forgotten I had/did.

I'm living with my parents while my husband is deployed, I don't breastfeed because I dried up from stress/my postpartum depression taking a toll on my body. My dad however eats paleo, so as a health measure I decided I should try it. I lost 10 lbs in two weeks.

And now its started. Now I've noticed the habits and calorie counting and portion obsession. I cook all of our meals to avoid having to do dishes i say (i cook, they clean) but its really so I know exactly whats going into my food. I'm becoming food obsessive again and its not okay.

But at the same time as I know its unhealthy, something in me is happy? I shouldn't be happy about being sick but I am? So here's to me being back here after over a year. At least for a little while.

[Rant/Rave] Worst week ever
Created: Wed Aug 23 05:06:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vi8ff/worst_week_ever/
I lost it this week. I've been so good and doing so well, lost a stone in a month and was on track for my GW before October... then this week happened. I told myself I looked fine, my boyfriend was complimenting me and I ate everything in sight and binged every day. I weighed myself yesterday and I've put on 8 pounds. EIGHT POUNDS IN ONE WEEK. I worked so hard and it's all been for nothing. I feel like such a failure, thinking of myself makes me feel sick, I don't even know why I ate so much.

Please help, I fee disgusting and I just want to lose all that fat I have put on this week. You know that feeling of existential dread where your stomach feels like it's dropped and your mouth gets dry and you have an overwhelming sense of panic? That's how I feel now every time I think about what I've eaten this week.

I don't know what to do. I feel like my life is falling apart.

[Rant/Rave] Bonus of going through a breakup: no hunger. Lol
Created: Wed Aug 23 04:01:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vhylp/bonus_of_going_through_a_breakup_no_hunger_lol/

[Help] I got called "healthy," and I'm also sorta going through a breakup.
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Wed Aug 23 03:54:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vhxm9/i_got_called_healthy_and_im_also_sorta_going/
The breakup is complicated, and we're technically still together, but he came out to me as polyamorous, so I feel like we're breaking up because the relationship won't be the same ever again.

But yeah, I was at my bf's house yesterday, and he told me that his mom said I looked "healthy" now (I've gained 10 lbs). WHY WOULD ANYONE EVER TELL THAT TO A PERSON WITH AN ED WHO HAS GAINED WEIGHT? Because, regardless of the wording she used, what I heard is that she noticed my weight gain. WHY would I want to know that? Fuck.

My mind is confused as to whether I want to binge or restrict. I usually restrict when I hate myself, and I binge when I hate everything else. But I hate both right now, so I need to make a decision, lol. -__-

[Rant/Rave] The shame after a binge
Created: Wed Aug 23 03:49:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vhx00/the_shame_after_a_binge/
I keep falling into this trap. I know how it makes me feel. The shame and regret are like nothing else and it makes me want to push an imaginary rewind button and start over. It wasn't even enjoyable food. It was cold and bland, but highly fattening. It was just *available*. I could have eaten the caramel rice cake, a fuji apple, or a salad, which I think I would have enjoyed more as far as taste and the lack of guilt while eating it, but I went for the most caloric-densed food because I like to self-sabotage. I hate myself.

[Help] Freaking out about a mis-sold dinner out.
/u/toadally-grody [174.5cm / 47.3 / 15.2 / maintaining / F]
Created: Wed Aug 23 03:44:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vhwc8/freaking_out_about_a_missold_dinner_out/
The other day my boyfriend asked if either of our two housemates wanted to go for a quiet meal tomorrow night and we all said yes. There were going to be four of us in total.

Now one of my housemates has invited two other people and I know it's going to turn into a big, boozy meal where we order starters to share, sides to share etc. And we'll split the bill between us despite me not having any of it. It's overwhelming and I'm freaking out. I can deal with things like this if I'm given notice but this feels like an ambush.

It was already going to be the first meal out I've ever had without going to the gym first because I'm in recovery. It was already going to be a big step. I told my boyfriend my thoughts and he just said "well if you don't want to come don't come, but *I'm* looking forward to it" and rolled over and went to sleep.

Now I feel like I have noone to talk to and I still don't know what to do.

[Discussion] What was the worst thing anyone has ever said about your body?
/u/OneCanNeverBeTooThin [F | 5'5" | HW: 216 | LW: 119| CW: 125 | GW: 100]
Created: Wed Aug 23 03:28:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vhu27/what_was_the_worst_thing_anyone_has_ever_said/
I'm feeling like throwing a pity party today, so come and join me. Here's my list thus far:

"Your body makes you look like an older woman" - classmate, out of nowhere, at the age of 13.

"That thing" - another classmate, around the same time period.

"It's ok, I'm fine with it" - boyfriend, when I first confessed having body issues. Because I've always wanted to be just "okay" in the eyes of the guy I love.

"Your butt wouldn't pass that pencil test" - boyfriend, not quite thinking what he was saying at the moment.

"Oh, you're wearing [X]" - also him, every time I wear something nice. Let's just say, my fancy lingerie has been staying in the drawers for a while now :/

[Thinspo] [Male Thinspo] Saint Laurent F/W Menswear 2016-2017 [39 Images]
Created: Wed Aug 23 01:44:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vhglu/male_thinspo_saint_laurent_fw_menswear_20162017/

[Help] omg i literally just ate so much?!?!? (also like how much weight am i going to gain from this?)
Created: Wed Aug 23 00:31:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vh6er/omg_i_literally_just_ate_so_much_also_like_how/

[Discussion] Anyone use an apple watch as a fitbit replacement?
/u/iwanttoblowaway [5'9 | 124 | 17.9 | 21]
Created: Tue Aug 22 22:22:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vgltm/anyone_use_an_apple_watch_as_a_fitbit_replacement/
I have a fitbit and I love it. It's cute and as far as I know it's good at it's job. But sometimes people (honestly usually friends) say things about how I don't need one/shouldn't have one/whatever. Like, "OMG you're about to blow away why do you need to count steps?"

So I thought maybe if I got an apple watch and used that instead (I think they count steps right?) nobody would think anything of it because people don't really associate it with like trying to lose weight or whatever

[Rant/Rave] I bought a new scale today and it made me very happy
/u/iwanttoblowaway [5'9 | 124 | 17.9 | 21]
Created: Tue Aug 22 21:56:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vggyu/i_bought_a_new_scale_today_and_it_made_me_very/
The last time I actually weighed myself was Januaryish because my roommate and I shared a scale in our kitchen and one night we were drunk and spilled wine on it on accident and just never bought a new one. My parents have one but it's in their bathroom so I would have to go out of my way to use it and tbh I legit thought I had gained like 20 pounds since winter because I've been drinking a lot more so I was afraid to use it.

So today I was at target and saw the fitbit aria scale and it looked so cute so I bought it and used it guess what! I'm only 2 pounds more than I was last winter :D

[Rant/Rave] i binged after a three day fast
Created: Tue Aug 22 21:47:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vgfey/i_binged_after_a_three_day_fast/

[Discussion] What do your designated binge days look like?
/u/sadanna [5'4 | CW: 120 | a 20 y/o gay girl]
Created: Tue Aug 22 21:37:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vgdl3/what_do_your_designated_binge_days_look_like/
Today I woke up and was like yup yap yup I'm outta control. I ate so many corn flakes. And cans of soup. Just straight outta the can!! And my sis made us pasta!!! And now I'm eating a lot of yogurt!!! Tomorrow's a new day...right?
Anywhoozles. I wanna feel less alone in this. What y'all eating on your bingey days?

[Rant/Rave] Of course I of all people have to be cast as the 'skinny' role.
/u/tarantulahospital [5'7 | -25lb | F]
Created: Tue Aug 22 20:28:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vg0iw/of_course_i_of_all_people_have_to_be_cast_as_the/
Currently I'm in highschool and I do theater. It kind of sucks considering I didn't get very many good parts until recently. I'm always concerned that my director/teacher thinks I'm a clumsy whale.
Well, luck as it is, the character I'm playing is supposed to be small and skinny. There's a whole scene where I'm trying to avoid being killed and I pretend to be starved and gross. I have to suck my stomach in during it and everything. (I'm a goat and there are trolls trying to kill me, it's hard to explain)
Wouldn't be bad except I'm on the line of being obese and I really don't want to say some lines about how I have "small bones" and stuff because I know people are gonna laugh at that since I'm so big.

I guess the only brightside is I'm the smallest person in the show? God help me.

[Rant/Rave] I think therapy and my therapist's weight goals are bullshit
/u/Brickly2017 [5'7" | CW118/GW115 | 18.4 | -13 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 22 20:05:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vfvr8/i_think_therapy_and_my_therapists_weight_goals/
I'm 5'7" and weigh between 115-118 depending on the week. It's the lowest I have ever weighed since... like 10 years ago. My therapist is beside herself. For some reason I need to be around 125 in her mind. But honestly? To my bf and his family I look fine if not on the "thin" side. They say I look like an athlete at the peak of competition season. In pictures I feel like I look good, not sick. At the gym, I don't get dirty looks. So why go to therapy and pay to hear that I'm not okay?

I just want to be alone with Ana
Created: Tue Aug 22 20:04:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vfvfs/i_just_want_to_be_alone_with_ana/

It's okay to eat 1,300 calories in a day because my body needs it to refuel itself after a period of restriction. I won't gain weight.
Created: Tue Aug 22 19:56:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vftri/its_okay_to_eat_1300_calories_in_a_day_because_my/

[Rant/Rave] "You're so squishy!"
Created: Tue Aug 22 19:26:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vfnxo/youre_so_squishy/

[Rant/Rave] Successfully restricting, yet I still feel like garbage :(
/u/iloveitosusumu [5'9" | CW166 | GW120 | BMI24.07 | 19F]
Created: Tue Aug 22 19:19:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vfmjm/successfully_restricting_yet_i_still_feel_like/
I did 3 days of fasting after eating normally beforehand, broke it with a good 2200 calorie meal. I was able to stop when I was full for once! Like I threw away food and put some away for others and didn't go back for it! not even a day later! And even before I did that, toward the end I felt full and could have stopped but didn't want to waste my favorite meal ever, which is dumb since it's literally a few blocks from my house.

I plan on doing ADF until I'm ready to go longterm again but even with all this accomplishment for me I still feel worthless. I feel like any normal person could have done this, what I consider a huge achievement and breakthrough for my disordered eating, like it was nothing and thought as much of it. I'm not hungry and I don't feel bad physically, I even did some incline walking at the gym, but I just feel... Underdeveloped. I feel like I'll never be able to just eat like I should. Toddlers have mastered eating better than me, a basic human function, how can I ever expect to become a full-fledged functioning adult if I can't even get that right?

I can already tell I'm gonna be restricting bad this week. I feel so powerless over my own mood, I had a great day with my bf yesterday and now today I feel like I'm rotting from the inside out. I just really want to be thin, I have wanted it more than anything in my life for so long now. I hope everybody reading this is having a better time than me, but if not please tell me about your crap day so I can secondhand wallow in it lmao

[Rant/Rave] kinda losing my shit lol
Created: Tue Aug 22 19:00:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vfiq8/kinda_losing_my_shit_lol/

[Other] When I'm fucked up, that's the real me…
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Tue Aug 22 18:57:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vfi4p/when_im_fucked_up_thats_the_real_me/
I had my husbands birthday party one weekend, got married (while being fat) the week after and then just spent a week recalibrating and hating myself for my weight loss plateau

I started restricting and counting again on Monday. Three days in and I already feel a sense of calm and control.

It's weird but, I feel my ED keeps me sane.

[Rant/Rave] You don't say?
Created: Tue Aug 22 18:28:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vfc5s/you_dont_say/

[Intro] Hey everyone, I'm relapsing again.
/u/kattykit5896 [5'3 | CW: 99 lbs | GW: 110 ]
Created: Tue Aug 22 17:43:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vf2e3/hey_everyone_im_relapsing_again/
Hey, I hope you guys don't mind me posting here cause I'm technically just trying to maintain my weight. I've been eating disordered for almost 8 years now and I'm sick of it. I want to get better so that I can exercise again. I used to dance, swim and climb, and I'm also keen on gymnastics. I'm also studying nursing, and I know I have to recover in order to succeed in my field.

I hope you guys don't mind me posting here, sometimes I really just need to rant about how shit and scary it is to have to gain while everything in your head tells you that you're fine (I find that /r/fuckeatingdisorders is a bit too inactive for me) .

Anyway, I like art, reading, writing and music. If you'd like to chat with me about anything, hit me up.

[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo.
Created: Tue Aug 22 17:05:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6veu4g/daily_thinspo/

[Discussion] DAE wait until they feel like they've lost "enough" weight before actually getting on the scale?
/u/Soybeansandsprouts [🍌5'5" | 116 | GW1: 110πŸ‰]
Created: Tue Aug 22 16:58:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vesce/dae_wait_until_they_feel_like_theyve_lost_enough/
This is going to sound so dumb because I'm not even at the weight I want to be anyway. I weighed myself 3 weeks ago and clocked in at 116, which is what I weighed my freshman year of highschool (5 years ago) when I was super athletic and ate normally with no guilt. Definitely no where near my lowest weight but I haven't been below 115 since recovery and I feel so close....

I can't tell if I have lost weight since then because I went on vacation with my family and definitely indulged. I'm terrified to see where I am now. I know I'm still <120 but I just don't want to see 116 again. For the past year, I've maintained at 122 and relapsed into restrictive tendencies the past few months. I want to see something lower and I won't get on that damn scale until I "feel" there is physically less of myself. I'm terrified of finding out I'm at a higher weight. I'm going to be so disappointed and upset it will just ruin my whole day :( so I keep putting off weigh day, hoping that next week, maybe just maybe, I'll be at 115 even though I want to know where I'm at sooo badly. Any one else feel like that?

[Rant/Rave] My purge got interrupted and I'm sO MAD
Created: Tue Aug 22 16:48:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6veqe2/my_purge_got_interrupted_and_im_so_mad/

[Help] Peach? Wat
/u/Cosmoflower [168cm | 140lbs | 22.5 | 30lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 22 16:22:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vekkf/peach_wat/

[Rant/Rave] I just can't eat like a normal person
Created: Tue Aug 22 16:19:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vejxf/i_just_cant_eat_like_a_normal_person/
Fuck my life...I had sushi, edamame, and sweet potato tempura and basically inhaled like 1200+ cal in one sitting and then just HAD to have an ice cream because I'm not fat enough!! I'm so tired of myself and my stupid body. I just can't eat without wanting to continue eating the day away. So I've just decided I'm going to "fast" and just live on Pepsi max and gum. I'm just getting fatter and fatter and fatter everyday and if I don't stop right the fuck now I'll probably be obese by the end of the week because of my awful metabolism. I'm so done with food. God fucking dammit.

in the hospital for 3 months, gained 30 lbs
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 130 | GW: 90 | UGW: 85 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 22 16:10:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vei2z/in_the_hospital_for_3_months_gained_30_lbs/

[Other] I love you guys
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~55.6 | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Tue Aug 22 15:34:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ve9t6/i_love_you_guys/
Legit this is my home... No matter how many times I leave, I always come back.

This is the most loving and supportive community.

You are all amazing and beautiful and I love you.

Thanks for existing.

[Rant/Rave] :^) I'm fatter than I previously thought kill me
Created: Tue Aug 22 15:26:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ve7z3/im_fatter_than_i_previously_thought_kill_me/
I went on vacation with my family for 2 months, no scale, and thought I would have lost a few pounds because I'd been eating less than I did before I started restricting and all... Nope. I gained 2 pounds. Ugh, it was so obvious I didn't lose with my stomach sticking out like this. Why did I get my hopes up? Well, at least now I can know that I *am* as fat as I look. Sorry for posting in such rapid succession, I just made this throwaway and am trying to say everything I wanted to in the past I don't remember how long I've been reading these posts. Anyway, thanks for letting me say this before retreating back into lurkdom πŸ˜™

Cutting and exercise?
Created: Tue Aug 22 15:18:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ve623/cutting_and_exercise/

[Discussion] How do you guys count your calories?
Created: Tue Aug 22 15:06:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ve36g/how_do_you_guys_count_your_calories/
I just find the calories of everything that's packaged, count up the ones in whatever I make, add it all up, and add on a few extra for package rounding. Does this seem very accurate? God, I hope it is. Anyway, what do you guys do? Do you use an app or something? That's probably a lot more efficient lol

[Rant/Rave] Those of you who manage intense workouts plus restriction (starts clapping furiously)
/u/timetofadeaway [5'2 | CW scaredlikeamouse | LW 91 | GW1 110 | UGW 90 | F21]
Created: Tue Aug 22 14:50:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vdzmf/those_of_you_who_manage_intense_workouts_plus/
Since I started ramping up my gym hours + started doing regular HIIT workouts our good old friend Hunger has been rearing his ugly head more often and I've been eating at least 300 kcal more each day on average (eek).

I have been burning around 500 per session a day but I can't help but feel I'm hindering my progress by eating more... There are pros and cons to exercise (mainly pros) and I'm one of those annoying goal people so I've set myself a goal to go to the gym every day until Christmas. I've managed nearly a month but damn I don't know how I can keep under 800 kcal a day as even this isn't as filling as less plus just walking...

I just wanted to rant and let you people who can exercise and restrict know that wow, you're strong.


[Help] Low calorie foods that don't seem like diet foods
Created: Tue Aug 22 14:41:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vdxes/low_calorie_foods_that_dont_seem_like_diet_foods/
Hi guys! Ok so I know this is sort of an odd request but I'm still in high school and my parents obviously are in charge of the shopping. This year I have a job and my sis had a ton of extra curricular activities so we're no longer going to be having family dinners (yay more freedom to restrict!). My mom will pretty much buy me any food I ask her to get for meals, but they do know I have a history with an ED because they read my diary from middle school (whole other awful story) so I can't ask for straight up obvious diet food if that makes sense, because I'm not ready to recover right now and don't want them getting suspicious. Since I'm now officially on my own for all my meals do you guys have any ideas? Oh also I am a vegetarian so meatless ideas would be appreciated :)

[Help] Fasting and school?
/u/Dolfii [5'3.5" | no scale :( | UGW: 95 | ]
Created: Tue Aug 22 13:57:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vdm3r/fasting_and_school/
I'm doing my first 48 hour fast and I'm going to school tomorrow. Just in general, do you guys have any tips for fasting/restricting in school? I try not to drink much while I'm there because I have social anxiety and it's too terrifying for me to ask to use the bathroom. Any help at all would help tons.

[Discussion] DAE sabotage their desires for certain foods?
/u/FastPhoria [5'10 | 126 | 18.1 / 17.6 | GW: 119 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 22 13:34:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vdgic/dae_sabotage_their_desires_for_certain_foods/
For example, tonight I planned to have muesli, having fasted all day. So pretty low cal - good plan all round.

Then I got curry on the brain - I made a really good one a little while back and froze a portion. I REALLY WANTED IT. And I have no will power, so of course was going to cave and no doubt eat a ton of rice with it. It honestly was a craving I couldn't fight. So I forced myself to eat tomato paste smooshed up with coriander and salt, which was DISGUSTING. And then of course I didn't want the curry any more because OH GOD PLEASE NO NOT CORIANDER AND TOMATO BASED SAUCE.

On reflection, this strikes me as something a crazy person might do (but probably wouldn't, because it was just awful). But just on the off-chance, does anybody here do similar?

Oh and FYI I'm about to get into bed to eat my muesli πŸ™ƒ I am feeling strangely victorious...

[Goal] Anyone here not diagnosed?
/u/bigfaninasmallworld [5 feet 🍰 | CW: 107 lbs | GW: 100 lbs | UGW: 98 lbs | 20 F πŸ’ |]
Created: Tue Aug 22 13:29:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vdf5v/anyone_here_not_diagnosed/
Im not diagnosed, and try to keep this part of my life hidden and don't want anyone to find out. I hide it fairly well as no one has suspected a thing. I'm at my goal weight of 100 lbs, and want to lose five more by the end of this month. But I noticed a lot of people here seem diagnosed, and honestly I'm starting to wonder if I even have an ED at all. All I know is that the way I eat is definitely not the way "normal" people eat. Want to make sure I'm not alone.

[Rant/Rave] DAE have mad supporting and accepting significant others?
/u/NavigationalError [5'2'' | cw/bmi: kms | -15lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 22 13:18:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vdcm9/dae_have_mad_supporting_and_accepting_significant/
I just wanted to talk about my significant other and how nice it is to have someone who, of course, doesn't like that I have ED tendencies. However, he's still trying to be accepting and supporting me through a half recovery, half ED.

Speaking of which, he bought me a kitchen scale!! I was going to buy it myself, but he said last minute: "babe im going to buy you the scale on your wishlist too ok" He knows how aggravating it is to me when I can't accurately track calories because of the weight guidelines. (I mean like if they say oz instead of cups/fl oz/tsp/tbsp)

It might seem like this is nothing, but we're long distance and it's something he saw me talk about so much that he bought it for me. (He bought me 36 fineliners for ED journalling and a face mask for relaxing too. (-: )

[Other] Stay strong, lovelies πŸ’›πŸ’™πŸ’›πŸ’™
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [27F | 5'5 | 125 lb | 21.05 | GW 110 | UGW 105 ]
Created: Tue Aug 22 13:05:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vd98r/stay_strong_lovelies/

[Help] Okay i need help.
Created: Tue Aug 22 13:04:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vd903/okay_i_need_help/

[Help] Anyone do yoga/calisthenics/etc?
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW 145.0 | UGW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 22 12:11:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vcw0s/anyone_do_yogacalisthenicsetc/
I've always wanted to get into it but never felt I was ~ready~. I wanted to be stronger or leaner or lighter before I started. But it's like saying I want to be a fast runner before I start runner.

I have to just do it. But I'm a bit overwhelmed and that's stopped me from doing it as well. I wanted to do it the ~right~ way. But I need to just start.

I was curious if anyone else does this and has any tips for apps or guides or something to start.

[Help] headaches while restricting
Created: Tue Aug 22 12:07:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vcv5b/headaches_while_restricting/

[Other] I honestly thought this was a post here...it's funny to see the overlap of tendencies.
Created: Tue Aug 22 11:37:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vcng1/i_honestly_thought_this_was_a_post_hereits_funny/

I can't deal with hunger
Created: Tue Aug 22 11:34:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vcmn7/i_cant_deal_with_hunger/

[Rant/Rave] Reached highest weight ever.
/u/fruitandfood [🦊 5'7" | 136.4 | 21.29 | F 🌻]
Created: Tue Aug 22 11:33:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vcmfa/reached_highest_weight_ever/
I weighed myself for the first time in around 2 weeks expecting to be around 130 pounds. Nope. 136.4. I was shocked, but I checked with various weights and making sure the scale was accurate, but nope I'm 136.4.

Before I would increase .0000001lbs and would feel so disgusted, now I'm almost just apathetic.

I've made negative progress this summer, instead of losing weight, I gained it. I was already struggling with higher numbers due to getting taller, but this reallyyyyy sucks.

I was going to take the closest thing to a day off exercise that I could today and just go running, but not anymore! Which means I have my normal few hours of exercise to go do and I have a late start.

I was waiting to update my flair until I was a weight I was atleast slightly ok with, but no. I'm putting up my highest weight and BMI.

Also, somehow I am more scared of the BMI than the actual number?? It seems really strange but my BMI being that much higher than it ever was makes me *so* scared.

Hope every one else is having a better day! :)

[Rant/Rave] Oh. My. God. Personal win!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [27F | 5'5 | 125 lb | 21.05 | GW 110 | UGW 105 ]
Created: Tue Aug 22 11:28:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vcl33/oh_my_god_personal_win/
I was driving home when I got that sudden urge for the QT donuts I've become quite fond of.

I talk myself out of that by remembering there's a Sprouts on my way home and they'd probably have some suitable baked goods.

I grab an entire cake (small, ~1600 cal), then move on to the produce section for binge fruit and veg.

By the time I've loaded up my cart with all that stuff, I realize that if I eat all that, I'm gonna be soooo full.

I also realize that when I get home I would definitely eat the cake first and probably end up eating all the other stuff too. I start internally chanting to myself "you can put it back, you can put it back..."

I PUT IT BACK. Then I considered getting a "baby boule," which is ~600 cal, but then I would put some kind of fat on it too. SO I DIDN'T GET THAT.

I eventually settled on a couple of jalapeΓ±o rolls - 80 calories each!!!!!

I worked my donuts (who knows how many) to a 1600 cal cake down to 160 cal rolls. Got a bunch of binge fruit and veg too but at least they're healthy.

Guys. Guys. I am SO proud of myself. I've binged the last several days and was going to try my best to fast, but this was a small step for Moomaid-kind.

[Help] I'm getting help
/u/iamLuc [5'5 | too fat | -27 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 22 11:24:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vck0t/im_getting_help/
This has been a long, rough journey for me. I've been in the cycle of binging and restricting for as long as I can remember. I have an appointment for tomorrow to see a therapist and different appointment tomorrow to see a nutritionist. I'm going to try to get healthy, mentally and physically. Thank you for all of the support you've given me.

(I don't know what flair this would be under but I'm also on mobile.)

[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend finally accepts it
/u/CandidTriceratops [ 5'5'' | 208.8 | 34.8 | -17lbs | M]
Created: Tue Aug 22 11:20:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vcj7z/boyfriend_finally_accepts_it/
By "accept" I mean he has finally realized that himself alone can't fix me and forcing me to eat is actually hurting me mentally. He is letting me decide what I want to eat rather than joining the family for dinner which is usually very high calorie. I'm very happy because in the middle of a very bad situation and a relapse the last thing I need is him getting angry at me for not eating. Obviously he prefers if I eat at least once a day and wouldn't let me get to the point of dying but he is not controlling me now.

[Thinspo] My thinspo ❀️
Created: Tue Aug 22 10:59:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vcdy4/my_thinspo/

[Rant/Rave] Fuck my non anorexic binging ass....
/u/newtoskate [5'8| CW:128.9lbs | BMI:19.6 | 3rd Relapse: 5lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 22 09:53:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vbxgc/fuck_my_non_anorexic_binging_ass/

i don't think he's attracted to me...
Created: Tue Aug 22 09:34:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vbsui/i_dont_think_hes_attracted_to_me/

[Discussion] DAE notice the smaller the get, the more stares/jealous people seem to be?
/u/nueroux [Dead Inside]
Created: Tue Aug 22 09:11:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vbn9n/dae_notice_the_smaller_the_get_the_more/
Hi let me preface this by saying I have a big ego so it may just all be in my head

But! I notice that with every pound lost I notice more people staring at me or giving me "dirty" looks. I notice it a lot when I'm at the grocery store and only pick up super healthy food, and someone with loads of junk food glances into my cart. Most of the time they're people who are overweight or not as thin as me. I also have a really bad resting bitch face so it may just be them thinking I'm mean and them being mean back.

Am I the only one or has my head just gotten even bigger

[Tip] Remember to moisturize!
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 117.4 | UGW: 102lbs]
Created: Tue Aug 22 08:57:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vbjwo/remember_to_moisturize/
Losing weight the way we do I've noticed that a lot of us experience this weird doughy phase in our stomachs. A way to combat this is to keep your skin hydrated so the elasticity can "bounce back" quicker so to speak.

After you get out of the shower (yes, everyday!), find some time to lather your body up in lotion. Your skin, and S.O will thank you for it ;)

[Tip] When 8/10 of your Amazon recommendations are popsicle-related
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Tue Aug 22 08:56:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vbjpi/when_810_of_your_amazon_recommendations_are/
I'm currently obsessed with popsicles! Low calorie, refreshing, filling and help when on the weekends I get desperately thirsty eating near maintenance but can't actually drink liquids without feeling like I'm going to pop. Some days my ED leads me to find wonderful new things, alldapopsicles. My favorite are kombucha pops but also make Greek yogurt pops.

[Rant/Rave] only one more week
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 190lb | M]
Created: Tue Aug 22 08:29:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vbdob/only_one_more_week/
The vast majority of my anxiety comes from my family. Even trying to describe it, here, is beyond meβ€”I cannot stand to be around them.

At last, though, I will be leaving.

I have a full scholarshipβ€”room, board, and tuition. I stole back my social security card, passport, and birth certificate. I have never been more certain of anything else in my life: I’m done.

I’m done with being berated for being fat, and then again for being too skinny. First, every morning on the scaleβ€”β€œfat!”, and later, every nightβ€”β€œemaciated!”

I’m done with being the volunteer therapist for my parents, who are and have always been just petulant children throwing tantrums.

I’m done with being verbally flensed every time something goes wrong in their livesβ€”I take the abuse they wish they could direct at policemen, secretaries, waiters, their bosses, and each other.

I’m done with being gaslit about my memories, emotions, and interests.

Only one more week πŸ₯‚βœ¨

[Rant/Rave] The binge eating is the last to go.
/u/spaceppigeon [5'6 | 122 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 22 08:05:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vb8an/the_binge_eating_is_the_last_to_go/
Man it's been a while.

Today I woke up with a bad taste in my mouth, insides that felt dirty, and the handful of laxatives I took last night aren't wreaking havoc on my body the way they used to.

I "recovered" from anorexia. Hell, I can use stuff I learned in therapy to minimize my purging. What I can't seem to fucking do though is stop the binge eating and I'm getting so fat I can't take it anymore.

Don't you love when a guy you're hung up on ditches you for a new gf who's 1/10th your size?? :)
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11", idk what i weigh, πŸ‘ is same as here]
Created: Tue Aug 22 08:00:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vb6w2/dont_you_love_when_a_guy_youre_hung_up_on_ditches/

[Discussion] August 22nd, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [27F | 5'5 | 125 lb | 21.05 | GW 110 | UGW 105 ]
Created: Tue Aug 22 07:52:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vb5cu/august_22nd_2017_question_of_the_day/
What can't you forget?

[Help] Anyone ever make their own miracle noodles from scratch? Any low-cal culinary pro tips?
/u/depressionbunny [5'6" | 138 | 22.6 | -12 | FM]
Created: Tue Aug 22 07:23:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vaz30/anyone_ever_make_their_own_miracle_noodles_from/
For about a year, I've had glucomannan powder (Konjac root) on deck to take as a fiber supplement and appetite suppressant. One day it occurred to me that some miracle (zero-carb) noodles are made with this, so I googled how to make my own.

I made the gel last night and it's in my fridge to firm up. I'm excited to go home tonight and make noodles out of it. Not sure how yet. Maybe it will work in my veggie spiralizer? I might just use a veggie peeler.

Any advice is welcome!! Love you all!

[Other] tfw you want to buy binge food (humor)
/u/swagcat9000 [5'5" | 131 lbs | 21.8 | -37 | M |]
Created: Tue Aug 22 06:23:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6van1r/tfw_you_want_to_buy_binge_food_humor/

[Thinspo] Thinspiration 8.22
/u/TeenyBeanieWeenie [5'6 (66 in)| 127 lbs| 20 BMI | - 3 (This week) | F]
Created: Tue Aug 22 06:23:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vamyk/thinspiration_822/

[Sticky] Self-care and Beauty Q+A August 22, 2017
Created: Tue Aug 22 06:11:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vakfe/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_august_22_2017/
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**


Self-care and beauty threads are posted every Tuesday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 22, 2017
Created: Tue Aug 22 06:10:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vakem/daily_food_diary_august_22_2017/
This is a daily food diary thread for August 22, 2017.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)

[Thinspo] Omg. Thinspo.
Created: Tue Aug 22 06:05:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vajht/omg_thinspo/

[Discussion] Can we change the sidebar that implies an eating disorder is what leads to perfection?
Created: Tue Aug 22 06:00:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vaigk/can_we_change_the_sidebar_that_implies_an_eating/

Will anyone be watching this 'Wasting Away' documentary?
Created: Tue Aug 22 05:38:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vaebq/will_anyone_be_watching_this_wasting_away/

[Intro] I saw a chance to get to my lowest weight, and I took it. I'm really scared.
Created: Tue Aug 22 05:06:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6va8va/i_saw_a_chance_to_get_to_my_lowest_weight_and_i/
Have you ever read the side effects of some random medicine and saw 'anorexia' in there and thought, how the hell is that a thing. Well I just found out how.
I lived with eating disorders since I was 15 years old. I went through them all, and finally at around the age of 20 I was deep in bulimia and I couldn't take it so I tried to get help - although all I got was a diagnosis. Years passed and I managed to recover from it all. And I was truly recovered, for over two and a half years I lived with no scale, finally got to a point where I could eat anything I wanted with no guilt and my weight stabilized at a healthy 52kg (I'm 1,56 or 1,57m, sorry I don't know how any of this translates. I think I'm 5'1 or 2?), which I found out only whenever I had to go to the doctor for whatever reason. I was happy and healthy and never gave my weight a second thought again.
Sounds like a dream, right? It certainly was mine.
Earlier this year I started having some trouble with my anxiety. I was having frequent panic attacks and felt completely out of control, so I went to see a psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with generalized anxiety disorder. We talked about my eating disorder and he said it was most likely a side effect of the anxiety, just something I focused on to keep my anxiety at bay. He put me on an SSRI and benzodiazepines - the latter I don't take daily because I'm well aware of their consequences.
Anyway I started noticing I was eating less, which makes sense seeing as I'll always snack when I'm anxious.
Then we (my boyfriend, my dog and I) moved to a place with a scale. And I hoped on and it said 50,9kg. Then a week went by and I hoped on again and it was down to 50,5kg. No dieting, no exercising, just random weight loss. I was so happy!
We all know how this goes and eventually I was weighting myself daily and of course keeping a record of it. It kept going down. I started to eat a little less, tried not to have seconds at dinner.
Fast forward a month and this past friday, after sleeping for over 12 hours (so obviously I was dehydrated and it was later than it usually was when I weighted in) I saw a 48,9kg on the scale. I freaked. I hadn't seen a 48 on the scale in over 4 years, when I met my boyfriend and I was a mess of a person, throwing up daily. 48. I was happy at 48, I remembered. I wore skirts. I didn't hate myself. I still sat on the couch that night and ate all the cookies I could find.
Saturday morning I watched To The Bone. I know that sounds so silly but I guess it was triggering, and I restricted the whole weekend. Monday morning I weighted in at 48,3kg.
Today, 48,0kg.
I'm both ecstatic, and completely terrified. The only time in my life I ever went under 48kg was for a couple of days when I was 16 - I got down to 46kg and I fainted and then gained it back. And I was never underweight.
Now I can see 45kg so clearly and so easily and it scares me.
In three days I managed to do so many of the things I swore I'd never do again. I skipped meals. I threw away food. I counted calories. I lied to my boyfriend...
I'm back in.

I doubt anyone will read this far but if you do, thank you. I feel completely lost and alone, I'm so glad I could find a place to get this out of my chest.

[Rant/Rave] I disgust people.
/u/_pancaste_ [5'6 | 127 | -21]
Created: Tue Aug 22 04:50:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6va6g7/i_disgust_people/
At a party a few weeks ago, I was introduced to a guy. We chatted for about thirty minutes, pretty standard smalltalk, nothing more. Late last week while I was browsing Facebook, he popped up as a "person you might know," because we have a bunch of mutual friends. I vaguely remembered him from the party, so I sent him a friend request.

He blocked me. Then at a party on Saturday night, he completely ignored me, refusing to make eye contact all evening. I asked one of our mutual friends what the fuck was up, and she got embarrassed and said he'd told her that "he was flattered, but not really interested."

Just because I sent a friend request.

I wasn't remotely attracted to this guy. I just figured I'd be friendly and add him, because I thought that was the normal thing to do when you meet someone? But no one wants to be associated with the fat, ugly girl. Even the idea of me being romantically interested in someone sends them running. I keep thinking that if I were thin and beautiful, there wouldn't be any stigma in being my friend.


[Discussion] How do you guys deal with fatigue?
/u/Sleepy_Golden_Storm [5'5" | CW: 112 lbs | LW: 98 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 22 03:06:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v9s74/how_do_you_guys_deal_with_fatigue/
Since school is starting up again for a lot of us, being half-asleep 24/7 isn't gonna cut it anymore. So how do y'all stay energized and focused enough to function? I pretty much rely on the obvious caffeine at the moment, but I'd love to hear what works for everyone else.

[Help] How to consult a doctor without being pressured/forced into any kind of treatment?
/u/athrowaway76250 [5'4" | CW: 102 | BMI: 17.5 | GW: 99 | UGW: 94 | SW: 120 | 24F]
Created: Tue Aug 22 02:55:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v9qqg/how_to_consult_a_doctor_without_being/
I've only been losing weight for a year and even now I'm only barely underweight, but... in addition to symptoms I've had for a while and have grown pretty used to (constipation, lightheadedness, fatigue), lately I've been noticing some additional things that are a little more concerning to me: intermittent chest pain, little lights occasionally floating by in my peripheral vision, dizziness/cold sweat specifically in response to strobe light (which has never, *ever* happened to me before, so it freaked me out), and possible early signs of lanugo (I've always had peach fuzz on my abdomen and arms but it *seems* to be getting thicker/longer, though I could easily be imagining it).

Anyway, I'm not comfortable with trying to gain weight or stop restricting, but I'm also just a little worried and it would be nice to talk to a doctor.

I would like to go see a doctor and see if I can get some blood tests done. But I don't want to see a doctor and have them pressure/force me to seek treatment or anything like thatβ€”I'm not ready for that; I don't have time for it, and as stupid as it sounds I still want to lose more weight. But at the same time, I would like to at least make myself aware of what (if any) damage I might have done to my body already.

Obviously, though, if I'm going to be asking to have specific blood tests done, I'm going to have to be honest with the doctor about why I'm making that request, and I don't know what protocol is for doctors as far as handling potential eating disorders goes (i.e. how forceful they can be in encouraging a patient to seek treatment, who they can or may contact, etc). If it matters, I'm in the U.S. and was hoping to go to my university's med center, as it's the most convenient and affordable option for me, but I could go elsewhere if need be.

**TL;DR** β€” *Just want to have some basic tests done and be on my way, without worrying about follow-ups or treatment.*

[Thinspo] Thinspo
Created: Tue Aug 22 01:59:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v9jdk/thinspo/

[Rant/Rave] Sabotage
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 19bmi | -140 | 30F | AU]
Created: Tue Aug 22 01:52:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v9ifr/sabotage/
I'm such a fucking fat cow. I was mid fast, maybe 65 hours in (I fast a lot) and today I hit my lowest weight which was exciting. Knowing that weight fluctuates I knew in my mind it may go up and down as my body LOVES to do but either way

I SABOTAGE myself. I ate 2 bowls of pecan but clusters with yogurt and that wouldn't even be a lot but I'm crying and feel so dumb. Just so dumb because I'm constantly sabotaging myself- fast for 5 days? "Binge" in my sense of the word

I couldn't hate myself more right now I was clinging to that to get me through a shit day but I fucked up because I'm a fuck up

Silver lining
/u/cuzzlingpunt [5'5 | CW139 | 22.8 | GW128 | UGW121]
Created: Tue Aug 22 01:42:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v9h7o/silver_lining/

[Rant/Rave] I think my family might be starting to notice what's going on
Created: Tue Aug 22 01:36:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v9gho/i_think_my_family_might_be_starting_to_notice/

"I Just Want A Pretty Thick Girl Who Knows How To Eat And Knows How To Cook"
Created: Tue Aug 22 01:12:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v9def/i_just_want_a_pretty_thick_girl_who_knows_how_to/

[Rant/Rave] When you feel like making brownies at 2 a.m but the castor oil+stool softener combo from earlier is kicking in again πŸ’©
Created: Mon Aug 21 23:56:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v92rc/when_you_feel_like_making_brownies_at_2_am_but/

[Rant/Rave] πŸ™ƒπŸ™‚πŸ™ƒπŸ™‚πŸ™ƒπŸ™‚
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [27F | 5'5 | 125 lb | 21.05 | GW 110 | UGW 105 ]
Created: Mon Aug 21 23:16:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v8wqk/_/

[Rant/Rave] The break up diet is the best diet
Created: Mon Aug 21 23:07:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v8v9w/the_break_up_diet_is_the_best_diet/
Flair rant I'm on mobile

My ex dumped me last week after telling me he's still in love with his ex from college even though we've been together over a year and have been living together for over a year, too and we just signed a new lease so my broke ass is having to scramble to find a place for myself and did I mention he did this to me the day the DA turned down my rape case for trial like don't get me wrong guys I love that I can't eat but I'm also fucking drowning in how weak and fucking worthless I feel so it's almost not worth the trouble.

I would rather be dead tbh

[Rant/Rave] i missed y'all
Created: Mon Aug 21 22:46:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v8rqq/i_missed_yall/
thought I could recover. instead, today I ate so much until I was laying on the bathroom floor dry heaving. then I proceeded to go out to eat ten minutes later. as soon as I got done eating, I went to dollar tree to buy cheap shitty junk food. went out to hang out with friends and I came home and I'm immediately binging. i fucking hate eating disorders. i just wish I could be normal.

[Rant/Rave] Weight loss must be real because I am starting to get comments.
/u/awayawaydown [6'0" | 135 | 17.6 | 125 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 22:00:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v8k0g/weight_loss_must_be_real_because_i_am_starting_to/
Saw some family I haven't seen in a while. They said I was looking good but also that I could use some more weight. They've never said that before and overall they never comment on weight, so that felt nice.

I guess it's really going down if I'm starting to get comments. I don't usually see the changes, so it's things like that (or clothes falling off etc) that tell me I can believe the scale.

Happy :)

[Intro] It was a hard choice.
Created: Mon Aug 21 21:31:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v8euq/it_was_a_hard_choice/

[Rant/Rave] I'm seeing my ex on Saturday
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | CW: 130 | GW: 115 | 20F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 19:59:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v7wfq/im_seeing_my_ex_on_saturday/
Because that's move-in day at my university. And he called me last night (first time in a month or so--we basically never talk) to catch up, and informed me that he's started working out.

Meanwhile, I binged hardcore Saturday night and probably consumed upwards of 3000 calories. I literally started doing crunches right after he said that, still keeping up our conversation to the best of my ability.

I know it's petty, guys, but... If he looks good, I have to look better. Heavy restriction this week and more exercise. No binging whatsoever. No cheat days. There's not enough time for another slip-up. I don't need to go back to school looking like a fat POS.

That being said, I'm fairly new to counting calories, so if y'all have some filling, low-cal meals or snacks to recommend, please help a sister out. Or positive words of encouragement would suffice. Thanks :,)

People judging you on being part of this sub...
Created: Mon Aug 21 19:59:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v7wcx/people_judging_you_on_being_part_of_this_sub/

[Other] Killer for salt cravings
/u/tresliz [5"7 | too much | [redacted] | ~25 lost | Female]
Created: Mon Aug 21 19:58:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v7w99/killer_for_salt_cravings/
Miso ginger broth from Trader Joe's + 100 cal bag of popcorn. 130 calories total. I've been eating mostly sugary foods lately and need me some salt. This is perfect.

Anyone else sipping broth?

[Rant/Rave] Got my Period for the First Time in Months
Created: Mon Aug 21 19:39:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v7s2a/got_my_period_for_the_first_time_in_months/

[Rant/Rave] Just keep swimming :'-)
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~55.6 | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Mon Aug 21 19:23:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v7opk/just_keep_swimming/
It's not possible to gain weight on less than 1000 calories per day

It's not possible to gain weight on less than 1000 calories per day!!!



This has been a PSA by me to make myself feel better...

[Rant/Rave] DH did a complete turn around
Created: Mon Aug 21 18:58:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v7jeo/dh_did_a_complete_turn_around/

[Rant/Rave] Not picking up the milk I wanted bc calories
/u/sewnp [5'6"/CW:FAT/UGW:99/NB]
Created: Mon Aug 21 18:51:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v7hyl/not_picking_up_the_milk_i_wanted_bc_calories/
I usually go to cashew milk for my calcium and milk desires (I'm a pescatarian) but the store I was at only had the 60 calorie cashew milk. The stuff I get is the unsweetened 35 calorie. I proceeded to, in a crowded store, put back the higher calorie milk for the lower calorie (40) almond milk.

To my surprise a mom and her child saw me struggling the whole time and I ended up getting a mild milk panic attack. Like why would someone my age be so visibly upset about a 20 fucking calorie difference.

EDs are fun right? Not even to mention that I've been binging my brains out bc of my increase of estrogen making me feel like a rabid animal. Hoping to get back on track tomorrow! Next time I'm not going to grab my milk until I'm sure which one I want... to avoid this ever happening again.

tl;dr: I grabbed the wrong milk and a lady saw me get distressed about 20 calories.

[Other] My fitness pal username thread
/u/ireallylikerent [5'1" | GW: 80lbs | Post-Recovery | 16F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 18:46:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v7guz/my_fitness_pal_username_thread/
I'm @ireallylikerent β™₯️

[Rant/Rave] First primary care doctor in years
/u/throwaway002300 [25 | 5'3" | CW 109 | BMI 19.3| GW 103| HW 160]
Created: Mon Aug 21 17:41:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v72ql/first_primary_care_doctor_in_years/
So I have an initial appointment with a new primary care doctor on Wednesday. I haven't had one in years so this is weird for me. The only person who knows about my previous MH diagnoses is my psychiatrist, who is a family friend I still talk to frequently. My family has advised me to withhold previous ED diagnosis/history stating, "what's in the past should stay in the past where it belongs. If you're not having problems with it right now don't say anything." I responded that I agreed, and no I wasn't having issues with it now; which is a lie and they know that on an unconscious level (they've started voicing concern recently, after weeks of silence). Anyway! I'm nervous about this appointment because they might find irregularities in vitals or blood work if ordered, or say something about my weight as it is close to under range currently. Ugh. Just don't want to deal with doctors or any of this

[Rant/Rave] I'm literally crying over popsicles
/u/YukiHase [5'9'' | 119.8 | 17.7 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 17:20:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v6yaa/im_literally_crying_over_popsicles/
I've been keeping sugar free popsicles in my freezer and been having one once and a while until my dad started taking them... Then he thinks he'll make it up by buying REGULAR popsicles mixing them with my sugar free ones... I got angry over it and he's just like "Well have you tried them?!?" NO I'm NOT gonna try them.... The regular ones are 25 calories more do you think I'm going to waste that much on a freaking popsicle??? Of course my Dad doesn't understand but I don't get how he doesn't see the difference between them...

[Discussion] Day after binge...
Created: Mon Aug 21 17:17:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v6xjh/day_after_binge/
I binged over the weekend because I clearly have no self control and I do this every weekend. But today I feel dizzy and weak like I haven't eaten in days. Just curious if anyone else had felt this way after a few days of binging and then going back to restricting.
I feel a little high but I haven't smoked today.

[Rant/Rave] i need to stop my anxiety about weight gain from controlling my life, but i also don't want to stop?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18 | 22F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 17:13:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v6wpo/i_need_to_stop_my_anxiety_about_weight_gain_from/
okay ugh sorry kind of a long rant-y post about weight gain anxiety???

i'm sure that this is a situation involving disordered eating and self-image that a lot of people can relate to. this summer i've gained 2 or 3 pounds from restricting less (i used to restrict to about 700 a day) and sometimes eating what feels like too much to me. this mostly came from some people voicing concerns over me being underweight. however, there have been times this summer that i've felt an intense hunger and urge to eat a lotβ€”like, 7 rice cakes at a time or 3 granola barsβ€”which is something that i've never experienced before and i believe results from heavy restriction. the other night i ate three nature valley knockoff granola bars really quickly and sort of felt like i couldn't stop myself?? like i knew that i could but i wanted to eat so badly but it was a psychological desire more than physical.
but anyways, yeah, i've gained a few pounds consequently.

i feel so gross about gaining weight, you guys. i'm constantly aware of my body image and worried about looking fat in skinny jeans or shorts. i look in the mirror and honestly can't tell if i'm thin, average, or have noticeable body fat in certain areas (i think that i do, my stomach isn't very flat anymore and i barely have a thigh gap). i literally can't eat anything without feeling intense guilt or like i've immediately gained weight. my attempts to restrict heavily usually end with me eating 900-1,400 calories per day. i constantly feel hungry and obsess over calories. i've eaten probably 600 calories today, before dinner, and almost cried about it earlier. i'm starting to realize that i need to talk to someone about this, because weight and food issues are negatively controlling my life, but i'm anxious that a psychologist would make me maintain my current weight or gain weightβ€”i'm a few pounds below the "normal/healthy" weight for my height, but i know that i would feel really gross if i did weigh the normal/healthy amount. i hate feeling heavy and gross and guilty for eating anything. i don't know. i guess i'll go back to heavy restriction and try to lose the weight i've gained. idk how many of you guys are currently dealing with weight gain or just totally losing control of your self-image/disordered eating but like fuck man it really sucks

edit: i'm about to get my period so maybe that's why i'm so hungry and emotional?! just threw away some food and i'm making tea instead, i'll probably eat a little dinner and drink some wine later but i think maybe i'm okay with that

[Help] Abnormally bloated after binge
Created: Mon Aug 21 16:55:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v6sgq/abnormally_bloated_after_binge/

[Rant/Rave] Mixed messages...so happy
/u/awayawaydown [6'0" | 135 | 17.6 | 125 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 16:38:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v6okd/mixed_messagesso_happy/

"Why don't you try eating and exercising normally and see if that works?"
Created: Mon Aug 21 16:35:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v6nwy/why_dont_you_try_eating_and_exercising_normally/

[Discussion] What movies or shows do you watch to get your mind off of things?
Created: Mon Aug 21 16:16:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v6jr6/what_movies_or_shows_do_you_watch_to_get_your/

[Discussion] Strange and unsustainable strategies for preventing binges.
Created: Mon Aug 21 16:13:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v6j0v/strange_and_unsustainable_strategies_for/
Thought some of you might get a laugh out of this. I was feeling a binge coming on yesterday and the house was particularly well stocked with high calorie snacks, a dangerous combination.

Before I did anything I'd regret for a week, I decided to put myself out of action. I grabbed a large bottle of water (for the drymouth) and proceeded to rapidly smoke so much weed I couldn't walk, so a trip to the kitchen was out of the question. I sat in bed watching something on my laptop (what exactly I don't remember) until I fell asleep.

I awoke several hours later with no cravings, albeit in dire need of a piss. Binge successfully prevented. Though I don't plan to make a habit of it as I don't particularly enjoy being absolutely blitzkrieged.

So, what's the most out there shit you've done to stop yourself from making a mistake?

[Rant/Rave] I'm so stressed out I'm making cookies and I'll eat them all.
/u/Trinkets-Baubles [5'3 | 151 | 28.22 | 18 | F | UGW 110]
Created: Mon Aug 21 16:11:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v6iim/im_so_stressed_out_im_making_cookies_and_ill_eat/
Then feel guilty forever. I went to "family" therapy with my hubs and step kid and the therapist, swear to god, has it out for me. Instead of trying to help understand the issue (her not doing chores, and her attitude to me) and solve it, she singled me out as the "problem". Apparently expecting a 15 y/o to do her two chores (taking our garbage and washing her own clothes) IS ENTIRELY MY FUCKING PROBLEM, and that she should be able to do whatever. *Then* in the same breath tells me she should have more chores. WTF.

So now I'm going to be eating a shitload of cookies and cow milk (NOT ALMOND I DONT DESERVE IT) to make me feel better. Ugh. I cant wait until Im not on seroquel. I'm going to be in so much stomach pain.

Edit: I ate at least 8, fuuuuck.

[Rant/Rave] Feeling a bit down
Created: Mon Aug 21 16:03:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v6gle/feeling_a_bit_down/
I really want to start fasting properlybut every time I try, it ends in failure. The longest I've managed to go without eating is a mere two days - and then I started to binge immediately afterwards. After I binge, I normally purge (I have merycism so I find it easy to purge) but I don't want to damage my teeth. It's really bringing me down and I don't know what to do. I'm 16 and my BMI is 23, and it really upsets me when I think about how my BMI was a gorgeous 19 just 2 years ago. (I'm not saying that a BMI 23 can't be gorgeous, it's just doesn't look good on me). I feel so fat and disgusting, I want to feel inspired so I look at thinspo, but it just makes me feel worse about myself. A lot of my so called friends call me fat all the time and make comments about what I look like, and it just makes me eat more because I feel so defeated. I'm so desperate to start fasting, but since I'm quite young, my I live with my mum, and she cooks food, if I don't eat it, she might find out that I'm trying to fast and try to stop me. Why does life have to be so difficult...

[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo.
Created: Mon Aug 21 16:02:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v6gck/daily_thinspo/

[Help] How to be lighter for a weigh-in?
Created: Mon Aug 21 15:56:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v6eyu/how_to_be_lighter_for_a_weighin/

[Help] [Help] good ways to estimate personal TDEE?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 15:49:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v6d4o/help_good_ways_to_estimate_personal_tdee/
I know there are apps or websites that will give you an average TDEE for someone of your height/weight/body fat, but is there a way to measure on your own to know for sure or account for other factors? I ask because i know things like body temperature and fidgeting add to a person's TDEE but typically aren't counted even though they can add up.

[Help] Wedding weight loss advice for during ana recovery?
Created: Mon Aug 21 15:34:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v69sf/wedding_weight_loss_advice_for_during_ana_recovery/
Hi friends -- I've been in recovery for 3 years from a serious bout with anorexia. Since being in recovery, I have avoided all diets and such as to not trigger myself into unhealthy habits. However, now that I'm getting married in January and my recovery has actually led to (legitimately) becoming overweight, I am looking to lose weight the healthy way but am nervous. Wanted to see if anyone has any experience or advice for successfully dieting during recovery?
Thanks so much!

[Thinspo] Thinspo
Created: Mon Aug 21 15:25:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v67qu/thinspo/

[Rant/Rave] I hit my goal weight and I'm still not happy
Created: Mon Aug 21 15:04:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v62s4/i_hit_my_goal_weight_and_im_still_not_happy/

[Rant/Rave] I hate recovery..
Created: Mon Aug 21 14:04:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v5n81/i_hate_recovery/
So up until a few weeks ago i had been eating an apple a day and exercising everyday for a few months and got down to around 96 pounds, I'm 5'10, but after my close family found out about this and threatened to force me into hospital or recover at home (3 meals a day, no exercise and no privacy to prevent purges) i have gained a few pounds by the looks of it and I honestly hate it. I hate the fact that my ribs are less visible, that my thighs are bigger, and I'm scared my jawline and defined face is next. Recovery was supposed to make me happier, and help me become normal but a few nights this week i ended up eating like 2 or 3 bowls of cereal at night and then purging it (even after throwing away my previous meals) other nights i just completely threw away my food when i had the chance. I'm scared that I've moved from restricting to binging behaviours. Basically recovery hasn't helped me, it's only made me worse, miserable and soon to be fat and i hate it, i need to go back.

[Rant/Rave] There is no middle ground?
/u/WhattheNorris [5'2 | 132.8 | -23 | β€’α΄—β€’]
Created: Mon Aug 21 14:02:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v5ms7/there_is_no_middle_ground/
Jesus I was doing so well with restriction and then I kind of lost it. And then I was slightly losing it and getting back on track and losing it again. And I'm getting fed up with struggling so much to eat and keep from eating too much? But at the same time if I give up I'll get fat because I don't think I have normal hunger cues? Like if I just eat when I'm hungry I'd probably just fuck up.

I want to be normal and eat normally but I want to be skinny and somehow those two don't coincide in my life? /rant

[Discussion] Weird ED master plans
Created: Mon Aug 21 14:02:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v5mo4/weird_ed_master_plans/
I just moved into a new place with a new roommate and I'm sooooooo excited. First of all it's a guy and we're not very close so I'll def be too embarrassed to binge or even eat much at all for a while until we get to know each other better (I have issues eating in front of strangers).

Also, I have this weird idea that I'm going to go as long as I can without actually eating inside my house. I'll pack a meal and only eat it on campus so I don't associate my new place with eating or binging and hopefully pavlov myself into only associating eating with being outside the house. I've literally never binged in public or even during daylight hours so hopefully only eating outside the home will help me restrict more consistently... lol I might be losing it but I'm excited.

Do y'all make weird master plans/ideas around your eating like this? lol Please tell me I'm not alone

[Help] advice for surviving forced recovery? I've been made to eat meals to the point where I thought my hunger cues were coming back - turns out I'm experiencing extreme hunger and because of it the other night i ate like three bowls of cereal ughhh - I can't wait until i can restrict again and be skinny
Created: Mon Aug 21 13:42:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v5hej/advice_for_surviving_forced_recovery_ive_been/

[Other] Trying not to binge, so adapted a recipe to make an individual sugar cookie. Otherwise I would have definitely eaten an entire batch.
Created: Mon Aug 21 13:04:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v56ji/trying_not_to_binge_so_adapted_a_recipe_to_make/

Holiday struggles
/u/Pugslyaddams [5'7"|122lbs- GW 110lbs | 19.04 (new), 19.11 (old) | -30| 20F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 13:02:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v55yp/holiday_struggles/

[Tip] Seaweed for salt cravings! Giant bag and I can barely make a dent.
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 57 | 19.05/18.82 | GW:<57 by 1/9 | UGW:<55 by 1/9 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 12:24:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v4vvc/seaweed_for_salt_cravings_giant_bag_and_i_can/

[Discussion] Significant Others with EDs?
Created: Mon Aug 21 11:09:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v4ce8/significant_others_with_eds/
Does anyone have a significant other with an ED or a fair degree of disordered eating? I'm curious as to how common of an occurrence this is.

[Rant/Rave] I lose and gain the same 4 lbs every single week
/u/then_she_said [5'7 | -48 | 27F | UGW: 135]
Created: Mon Aug 21 09:51:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v3tas/i_lose_and_gain_the_same_4_lbs_every_single_week/
because on the weekends I morph in to an alcoholic binge-eating monster who doesn't get up off the couch and is generally too lazy to purge. I've woken up every Friday for the past month at 169, and woken up every Monday at 173. spend the week restricting/ b/p, lose 4 lbs, spend the weekend on the couch stuffing my face, gain 4 lbs, rinse and repeat.

I told my fiancee that we're going sober because not only am I fucking sick of seeing the same numbers on the scale, but we're just disgustingly unproductive. like my bridal shower was 2 weeks ago and I have 4 thank-you letters written. I haven't weeded my garden in over a month. I've literally been too drunk and full and lazy to even go outside and put together a bouquet from the wildflower patch we grew. seriously, that's some next-level laziness.

we own our own house and it's so amazing, but it's a fucking mess. we still haven't unpacked all of our boxes (we moved last October), our lawn is getting too long, half of the rooms are only half-painted. I made the en suite half-bath my personal project and worked on it for a weekend then gave it up. this weekend, I'm not over-eating and I'm not drinking, and I'm going to finish the bathroom and clean the shit out of it so that when I'm wallowing in self-hate after a purge I at least don't have to be blatantly reminded of the fact that I can't follow through on anything I do.

I'm also going to be below 169 by Friday, and I never want to see 170 on the scale again. ugh.

Appetite suppressants that are safe and don't have a long list of scary side effects?
/u/OneCanNeverBeTooThin [F | 5'5" | HW: 216 | LW: 119| CW: 125 | GW: 100]
Created: Mon Aug 21 09:30:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v3o31/appetite_suppressants_that_are_safe_and_dont_have/

[Rant/Rave] One of my old best friends just got married.
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 09:27:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v3nfp/one_of_my_old_best_friends_just_got_married/
All I see on Facebook are pictures of like 20 of my closest friends from college all having a wonderful time at her wedding, and I didn't even know she was getting married to begin with. I didn't know she was even dating anyone. All these people stopped talking to me entirely, but they all stayed friends with each other, and now have these wonderful lives. And then there's me, with no friends, spending my entire life obsessing over my weight. It hurts, man.

[Rant/Rave] Mixed messages that felt GREAT
/u/awayawaydown [6'0" | 135 | 17.6 | 125 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 09:25:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v3mvc/mixed_messages_that_felt_great/

[Tip] Another almond milk recipe
/u/dobelieveinbear [5'3 | 103 | 18.2 | GW: 90ish | F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 09:21:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v3m1z/another_almond_milk_recipe/
Throw about five or more ice cubes, half a banana, and a cup of almond milk in a blender. (I also like to add a tablespoon of ground flaxseed or vanilla extract. Nutmeg or cinnamon would be good too!) Blend it up until it's smooth and now you've got an icy drink reminiscent of a Wendy's frosty.

[Help] Weird shaped stomach?
Created: Mon Aug 21 09:16:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v3kpc/weird_shaped_stomach/

Weird shaped stomach
Created: Mon Aug 21 09:05:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v3i5q/weird_shaped_stomach/

[Help] I'm using Libra to track weight, but the trend is always higher than my measured weight. Is this accurate?
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 196 lb | GW: 120 lb | 22F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 09:03:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v3hov/im_using_libra_to_track_weight_but_the_trend_is/

[Help] Period Question
Created: Mon Aug 21 08:51:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v3enk/period_question/

[Rant/Rave] So happy to be done with summer
/u/eekcoffee [5'7'' | 119lbs | 18.57 | -37 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 08:47:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v3dtp/so_happy_to_be_done_with_summer/
My life this summer was a total mess. I was working a crazy high stress job and ended up stress eating like crazy. Before the summer I had finally reached underweight and now I'm all the way up to 130 lbs. All the stress and junk food also caused me to break out like crazy so now I look like freaking Freddy Krueger on top of feeling like a giant fatass. Thank fucking God I'm back at school in my own apartment with a week before classes start. I can just be a hermit and not eat and lose some of that weight. Ugh I'm so mad I let myself get to this point... Feels good to rant about though haha

[Help] Does anyone here follow a ketogenic diet?
/u/MeMyselfAndCarbs [5'3" | 110.6 | 25F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 08:37:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v3bm5/does_anyone_here_follow_a_ketogenic_diet/
Main question: what are your safe, or low calorie, foods/meals?

My boyfriend recently started researching the benefits of keto, and he's interested in trying it out. I'd love to be supportive and I think that reducing carbs would be good for me. *However,* I'm REALLY struggling with all of the high/full fat foods. Also, cheese and lunch meat have been fear foods of mine for years. Ugh, I'm just panicking because cHaNgE.

Suggestions or support from any keto followers would be amazing. Thanks!!

EDIT: a word

[Thinspo] Male Thinspiration 8.21
/u/TeenyBeanieWeenie [5'6 (66 in)| 127 lbs| 20 BMI | - 3 (This week) | F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 07:07:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v2s36/male_thinspiration_821/

[Discussion] August 21st, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [27F | 5'5 | 125 lb | 21.05 | GW 110 | UGW 105 ]
Created: Mon Aug 21 06:52:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v2p3p/august_21st_2017_question_of_the_day/
In 140 characters or fewer, summarize your day.

[Thinspo] Current Thinspo Fav & Ultimate Goals 😍
Created: Mon Aug 21 06:20:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v2jbs/current_thinspo_fav_ultimate_goals/

[Other] Excel project
Created: Mon Aug 21 06:19:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v2j4h/excel_project/

[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! August 21, 2017
Created: Mon Aug 21 06:14:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v2ias/weekly_stats_update_august_21_2017/
This is the weekly status thread for August 21, 2017.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:


Status threads are posted every Monday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 21, 2017
Created: Mon Aug 21 06:14:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v2i9c/daily_food_diary_august_21_2017/
This is a daily food diary thread for August 21, 2017.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)

[Thinspo] Thinspiration 8.21
/u/TeenyBeanieWeenie [5'6 (66 in)| 127 lbs| 20 BMI | - 3 (This week) | F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 06:11:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v2hnv/thinspiration_821/

[Other] The skeletons from Game of Thrones are goals.lol
/u/GingerStark [5'9.3" | 20.2 | CW : 138 | GW : 120 | UGW : 110 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 05:18:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v29a0/the_skeletons_from_game_of_thrones_are_goalslol/

[Rant/Rave] Another compliment! I'm getting so many compliments! Aaaahhh!
/u/CoolCatLovesAllKids [164cm | 15 | lmfao | Female]
Created: Mon Aug 21 05:02:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v26pc/another_compliment_im_getting_so_many_compliments/
I was waiting for my tram when a friend whom I hadn't seen in a while was cycling across the road. He screamed my name and cycled towards me, we talked for a bit and he said he almost didn't recognize me because I've lost so much weight.

I'm a happy bitch

[Rant/Rave] First class airline feast on thursday...
/u/carlisam9797 [5'2" 18F | CW 114.5 | SW 130 | GW 105 | UGW 99 ]
Created: Mon Aug 21 04:14:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v1zsh/first_class_airline_feast_on_thursday/
I'm flying back to nyc for school in three days (but first getting a major hair makeover in the morning with extensions and everything, so excited :P). I'm extremely happy because I've lost 15+lbs this summer (will prob be down to 113 by the time I'm back, I've been dancing around 114.5 for the amount of time it usually takes before I suddenly drop another pound or two already) and I've gotten a bunch of new clothes because my pants were sliding off me.

I digress..I'm flying on American and like most airlines in first class they feed you like a 6 course meal of champagne (yum but calorie-laden), nuts (barf), salad (will eat), some kind of meat, about three different carbs, an ice cream sundae, a cookie, and a snack before you leave.

I feel bad just picking at the lettuce and saying I'm full because my dad is coming with me and I know he spent a lot of money (it's a cross country flight) on it as a treat for me. At the same time I can't find any calorie info and I don't want to get bloated and fat just as I'm going back to school after an entire summer of restricting. Not to mention that it's the city, so most people are extremely thin and stylish, so looking fat is like whatever the opposite of a status symbol is. Idk :/ sorry ik this probably sounds bitchy and dumb but I just keep having this anxiety of eating this big meal and gaining two pounds (which is what I usually gain whenever I go to a restraunt...which is why I virtually never go to restaurants) and looking the same (fat) when I get back as when I left for summer.

What are the least calorie snacks I could eat?
Created: Mon Aug 21 03:35:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v1uis/what_are_the_least_calorie_snacks_i_could_eat/

[Discussion] When do you 'acknowledge' weight loss?
Created: Mon Aug 21 02:48:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v1ojz/when_do_you_acknowledge_weight_loss/
I have a weight loss log for me to cross out each pound when I lose it. I've been on a really good restricting cycle recently so I've lost 4 pounds, but I just don't feel like I can cross the weight off. It feels temporary, like I'll just put it all back on again tomorrow or something.

When do you accept that your weight loss has actually happened and it's not just a temporary fluctuation?

[Rant/Rave] My indifference scares me..
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Mon Aug 21 01:07:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v1bdd/my_indifference_scares_me/
On mobile flair as rant rave or whatever.

Not going to both with a lot seeing as no one cares about me anyway. I keep fucking up and this week was bad I binged 5 days out of the last 7. I spent a lot of money on binge food and I'm just not going to buy anymore food until next pay check. ( two weeks) also not weight for a week.

I hate myself but also don't really care I'm not think like I want to be and my co-workers are swooning over a new guy. No one would notice If I was gone. Also I hate being too fat to be androgynous and cute I'm just weird and ugly.

Someone just put me out of my misery. I feel like I'm one bad day away from ending my life. Life means nothing to me.


[Help] How should i react when my gf tells me how she lost more weight?
Created: Mon Aug 21 01:06:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v1b6r/how_should_i_react_when_my_gf_tells_me_how_she/
My gf lost some weight recently and shes really excited that she did but idk how I should react to it. I personally think she looks really good now but she hates her body so shes losing weight. So im not sure how to react when she loses weight and shes happy about it, im happy that shes happy but im not sure how i feel about her losing weight because of how she does it. She wants to lose weight because she thinks it will make me more attracted to her and because her family always told her she was fat. I've told her lots that it wont make me more attracted to her and i think she believes me. She either restricts or fasts to try and lose weight, ive tried to help her before but theres not much i can do since we are in an ldr, she doesnt fast as much or for as long as she used to anymore tho. We just came back from meeting for the first time last month, and she ate a lot more than she normally did because she felt fine about herself and her body. A few weeks after I went back home she started have problems with her body again and because she gained weight she felt bad about herself. Now shes lost some weight and is excited about it. Shes told me before that now she thinks if she loses more and more weight that she doesnt think ill be attracted to her anymore, I dont think thats true, but idk. and shes cares a lot about her weight now, and talks about it a lot. im ok with it because its a part of her life and i want to know about it, it also helps me better understand how she feels. But now shes feels bad because she said she thinks shes become obsessive with it and she said she wont talk to me about it as much. I dont want that either because then I dont know how shes feeling or if shes being healthy while losing weight how she wants to. i just dont know what to do and am overwhelmed.
sorry for the confusing wall of text

[Rant/Rave] High school :(
/u/tacehtelle [5"6 | 119.5 | 19.61 :( | 6.5 lbs :( | Female]
Created: Mon Aug 21 00:36:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v1767/high_school/
So i'm going into high school, quite scared. I'm going from a middle school that was smaller than my elementary school to a high school where I cant even find the eating area by myself. Like??? WHERE DO I SIT??? And who's gonna sit with me???? I start in 1 WEEK! I'm so stressed out. And I only lost 6 pounds! Am I just gonna be stuck with this feeling of disappointment forever because I have NO self control over anything I eat???? Gr8 going me, you done did it again.

[Rant/Rave] ""Recovery"" aka binging everyday [rant]
/u/rebirthmark [5'3" | CW: 40.5kg | BMI: 16.01 | -8kg | F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 00:14:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v147w/recovery_aka_binging_everyday_rant/
My doctor told me to stay away from running. Apparently vigorous cardio can be fatal at such a low weight. I suppose I could just, like, not listen to her but I'm scared and would like to get rid of my ED. And I fucking love running and I want to be able to run safely for the rest of my life.

Nothing comforts me like running. I used to run away from my problems but now I've forced myself to face reality. And when I can't run, I binge. I've binged hard everyday since Thursday. I hate myself and my bloated body.

And the worst thing is my family seems so proud of my ""recovery progress"". Like all they care about is whether I'm underweight or not. I guess devouring a whole blueberry pie and then a frozen pizza in a matter of ten minutes is healthy non-ED behavior and a sign of recovery :))))

Why can't I eat like a normal fucking person?

[Discussion] Donating blood on an empty stomach.
/u/losemore [5”9.5 | -40lb | 21F | UGW 100lbs ]
Created: Sun Aug 20 23:48:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v1099/donating_blood_on_an_empty_stomach/
Hello all,

This Friday I’m donating blood for the first time.
The only problem is that I’m also planning to fast all week. The appointment has been set up for a while now and I really don’t want to cancel it but I also don’t want to break my fast by eating a calorie laden meal.
Does anybody have any experience with donating on an empty stomach? My workmate mentioned to me that one time she hadn’t had much to eat beforehand and passed out after donating.

Opinions? Thoughts? Break the fast or reschedule? I was also thinking about eating an apple beforehand just to raise my blood sugar level enough that I’d be able to donate.

[Rant/Rave] Yikes.
Created: Sun Aug 20 23:19:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v0w15/yikes/

[Other] Lost my appetite for food at work...
/u/mildolconf [5'9" | 134.2 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 23:11:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v0uu3/lost_my_appetite_for_food_at_work/

[Rant/Rave] Worked at a food stand at a fair this week.
Created: Sun Aug 20 22:39:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v0ptn/worked_at_a_food_stand_at_a_fair_this_week/
Just finished up working at a concessions trailer at a county fair for the week.

HALLELUJAH I MANAGED TO LOSE. Surrounded by a whole world of deep fried sugar, I'm down a few lbs. plus this is the end of the day so in the morning it should be lower.

I'm so happy I could cry. :')

When you binge for three months
/u/erkadurka [5'4" | 96.6lbs | 16.91 | 39.2lbs]
Created: Sun Aug 20 22:17:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v0m8e/when_you_binge_for_three_months/

[Discussion] Does anyone take modafinil? Or any other meds?
Created: Sun Aug 20 22:04:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v0k4k/does_anyone_take_modafinil_or_any_other_meds/
Just curious to know if anyone takes modafinil whether it be for productivity or to help with appetite. Also interested in other meds people may be on?

[Other] Is anyone else excited to be going back to school because it means back to the routine of not eating?
/u/iwanttoblowaway [5'9 | 124 | 17.9 | 21]
Created: Sun Aug 20 21:58:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v0iuv/is_anyone_else_excited_to_be_going_back_to_school/
I'll be honest, I'm dreading the actual school that's coming up this year. It's going to be such a hard semester. But I'm so glad to be back to living at my own apartment and only eating when I want and going to the gym and running on the nice air-conditioned indoor track every single day. And as much as I don't enjoy the stress, I know I thrive under it. I feel like I want to jump off the parking deck but I do my best living when I have 3 projects and two papers due in 2 days - no time to sit at home bored, so focused that I don't even realize I'm hungry, caffeine suppressing my appetite, and feeling so accomplished when it all comes together and I get everything done on time and just about perfect.

[Other] I told someone about my ED today
/u/ToostsieWooGirl92 [5'5 | CW: 98lbs | GW:93lbs | 16.5 | 16 F ]
Created: Sun Aug 20 21:27:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v0da4/i_told_someone_about_my_ed_today/
On mobile forgot to flair!

I load the first person ever about my ED. It's my sisters best friend and we were eating dinner (just us) and I said " Can I tell you something?" She said "what"
Me: " nevermind
Her: I literally blah blah blah (a personal thing about her that's semi embarrassing) you can tell me anything
Me: I think I have an eating disorder

Then she was like honestly I'm not surprised all the comments you make I kinda suspected it a little. I asked her not to tell my mom or sister and she said she wouldn't as long as it wasn't getting to serious
(I think she kind of underestimates it) . We talked a bit more about it and I have now idea why I told her but I did and now I can say someone knows. Sorry this was random but thanks for listening (or reading?)

[Rant/Rave] It's crazy how much that number can change your view of yourself.
Created: Sun Aug 20 21:21:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v0c7r/its_crazy_how_much_that_number_can_change_your/
Long time lurker first time poster. Hello everyone!!

The other day I was getting ready to go out with friends and I was trying on different clothes because nothing ever looks right. I hadn't weighed myself in a while because it stresses me out so much; even though it drives me just as crazy not knowing. I was just in the middle of thinking how big I looked in a shirt when I decided I needed to weigh myself. I weighed in at 122 which is way less than I thought! My lowest was 115 and I'm trying like hell to get back down there. The craziest part was once I walked back to my mirror, I didn't think I looked so big in my shirt anymore.

It's just insane how much of this is so much pressure and expectation I put on myself. And just seeing that the number was smaller than I thought it was going to be made me feel and think I looked physically smaller as well.

Sorry for the random post but I just wondered if anyone else had experienced something like this. It was a very eye opening one for me personally.

Fave diet/ zero cal drinks?
/u/happyplantlover [5'8 | CW:126lbs | GW: 112lbs | -15 lbs | F20]
Created: Sun Aug 20 21:03:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v08kv/fave_diet_zero_cal_drinks/

[Rant/Rave] The power flows through me 😬
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~55.6 | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Sun Aug 20 20:48:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v05om/the_power_flows_through_me/
It happened. I. Did. Not. Binge.

It was weird. I was so close and then my brain short circuited for some reason and I lowkey dissociated from this earthly realm and put the cereal, milk and bowl away. It was the weirdest feeling the the world...

I actually resisted a binge. What? Who am I a normal person with real self control?

This post is just me being happy about not being a nasty food monster thanks for reading, good night

Created: Sun Aug 20 20:34:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v02vc/fucking_carbs/
Are ruining my life. It's all I crave. Chips, toast, noodles, rice, I shove it all in my fat fucking face.

How do you kick a carb addiction? 😭😭😭😭😭😭

[Rant/Rave] I ALWAYS have to eat the whole thing
Created: Sun Aug 20 20:24:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v00yz/i_always_have_to_eat_the_whole_thing/
Since I started maintaining, I’ve realized I pretty much can’t eat normal portion sizes at all anymore. I've reached a point where whatever it is I'm eating, I *have* to eat it all. You know how like with pints of ice cream, you always multiply the calories per serving times 4, because lol who actually only has half a cup? I do that with everything now. I eat instant mashed potatoes by the packet, all 4 servings in a huge bowl. I eat entire 2lb. containers of yogurt in one sitting. There’s just something...relaxing about opening a huge bag, or container of something, and knowing you can eat the whole thing, with no need to measure or weigh anything out, no need to stop eating until it’s gone. You don't have to worry about having leftovers tempt you later, and it can sometimes almost feel as satisfying as binging. The weird thing is, in a way, all my meals kinda feel like binges, even if I'm technically still keeping under my calorie goal for the day.

I’m just not satisfied with anything unless I can have a massive portion size of it. At the store I'm constantly calculating the total calories for nothing less than the entire container of everything I see, like bags of popcorn, cans of frosting, and tubs of ice cream. "Hm...if I fast all day, I’d get to eat this entire thing for dinner later." I’ll think to myself. By basically telling myself I get to "binge" later, it gives me motivation to fast until then. I've taken to calling it "restricted binging." It’s disordered as all hell and probably the complete opposite of how you’re supposed to do maintenance, but I honestly feel like I can’t do it any other way. Oh well.

[Thinspo] Wedding thinspo
/u/dontcareifithurts__ [5'4.5 | 112.6 | - 8.6 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 20:20:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v006k/wedding_thinspo/

[Rant/Rave] My grandma is currently making steak
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 116.6 | GW: 110 | M/15]
Created: Sun Aug 20 20:17:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uzzn7/my_grandma_is_currently_making_steak/

[Rant/Rave] Hangry on binge day 😑
/u/BodilySolids [5'0" | CW: 124.6 | BMI: 25.63 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 20:12:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uzynu/hangry_on_binge_day/
Sunday is a free for all, eat all the unsafe things, binge day for me. I have been doing this for a couple months now, and I desperately look forward to it. After restricting below 500 kcal the preceding 6 days, I fast all day until dinner and then eat whatever TF I want. Doing it this way makes the volume my stomach can hold relatively small, and my binge meal actually equates to a maintenance day. I feel satisfied afterwards, and I’m ok with fasting or heavily restricting again by Monday.

Well, last night my debit card got stolen, I had to cancel it and order a new one, and since it’s the weekend, I can’t hit up a bank for a temporary card or cash withdrawal. Soooo I have been relying on the very minuscule businesses that accept PayPal mobile payments for my diet sodas and cigarettes all day. I really wanted some General Tso’s Chicken, fried rice, and a pork egg roll for my binge meal tonight. I have been fantasizing about it, actually.... but the only local PayPal accepting food service around me is Yelp Eat24, and no Chinese places nearby participate.

I was going to binge anyways, but I didn’t want it to be on the sad assortment of deli meat and lean cuisine meals I have in my fridge, so I used PayPal to order a Papa John’s e-gift card from Walmart.com, then used that to order pizza. I have never eaten pizza so grudgingly in my life.

At least I ordered the big ass cookie too. Chocolate chip cookies cannot be eaten grudgingly.

Here’s to Monday (my day long fast day... and totality day!) next week’s binge day (and my CW of 124.6!). May there be a gratuitous amount of Chinese goodness in my future.

[Discussion] Anyone else get stretch marks while losing weight?
Created: Sun Aug 20 19:55:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uzvmm/anyone_else_get_stretch_marks_while_losing_weight/
I blew up over the past year, put on a couple dozen pounds and decided to take control again (and relapse lmaooo) a few months ago. When I started losing weight, stretch marks started showing up! On my inner thighs, butt, and boobs. Isn't this the opposite of how it's supposed to happen? When I was a fatty my skin was perfect, and I decided to lose weight to feel better about my body, yet here I am, hating my body for yet another reason :)

everyone tells me to just "eat normal" but that's both terrifying and harmful to me
Created: Sun Aug 20 19:50:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uzuog/everyone_tells_me_to_just_eat_normal_but_thats/

New to Reddit but how do you put your stats next to your tag??????
Created: Sun Aug 20 19:47:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uzu43/new_to_reddit_but_how_do_you_put_your_stats_next/

[Other] I can't help but think...
Created: Sun Aug 20 19:45:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uztsz/i_cant_help_but_think/

[Intro] Back again
Created: Sun Aug 20 19:16:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uzokm/back_again/
Hi! This isn't my first post in this sub (technically is since I deleted my old ones) but I left the sub a few months ago after going into recovery. Butttt thankfully Ive lost back down to my pre inpatient weight and I'm back full force guys

Had my daughters 1st birthday...
Created: Sun Aug 20 18:59:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uzlk7/had_my_daughters_1st_birthday/

[Intro] Joining the party...
/u/DietCokeDeathmatch [5'7"| GW: < 150 | BMI: 35.9 | -1 lb | F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 18:42:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uzi9s/joining_the_party/
I just found this sub yesterday and i'm not really sure how to do this but wanted to say hi. I really can't talk or joke about ED things with anyone I know without getting sideways looks or a lecture. I've been hiding dysmorphia issues from almost everyone for the last 20 years and used to B/P regularly when I was younger. Due to magical mental health issues, now I'm just trying to deal with BED. I can't even look at myself without crying most days. Fortunately I've started Vyvanse which is great with the binging except that I've been using them up too quickly... I have support as I'm "recovering" from BED but they don't know that I'm just going to swing to the other extreme.

[Rant/Rave] "You're not really doing anything about it"
Created: Sun Aug 20 18:39:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uzhpy/youre_not_really_doing_anything_about_it/
Before I unpack this, I feel like I should say that 99.999% of the time my boyfriend is incredible. He's just never dealt with mental illness before me, so he struggles with handling it from time to time. OK, moving along...

I've been having a really hard time with my anxiety/depression/ED all compounding and it's (obviously) wreaking havoc on my body confidence and draining my sex drive. So he sat down with me today to talk about it and encourage me to be "healthy" so I'm happier with myself, and then he pulls out this gem: "So I know you're not happy with your body, but honestly, you're not really doing anything about it. You aren't exercising at all, you're just starving yourself, and then you eat a lot."

Ok. Cool. So I'm just bad at having an eating disorder and I should try harder. COOL.

Anyway, now I'm just more motivated to stick to my goals and lower my weekly restriction numbers and start working out to really drive it all home.

[Discussion] Anybody else just sleep to avoid eating
/u/tresliz [5"7 | too much | [redacted] | ~25 lost | Female]
Created: Sun Aug 20 18:34:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uzgte/anybody_else_just_sleep_to_avoid_eating/
I'm depressed, I've been struggling with it most of my life and it's pretty bad right now. Being hungry all the time doesn't help it but I don't care, it makes me feel powerful when I don't eat and I hate my body anyway.

Anyone else take naps for hours just to avoid the world and hunger? Like, I'm having my 100 cal popcorn dinner at 8 and then taking my meds to knock myself out. It's 5:30 now so I'm just hoping to sleep 2.5 hours so I can enjoy my lil baggy of popcorn and then knock out...

Edit: can't flair on mobile???

[Discussion] Food cravings?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 18:19:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uzdzk/food_cravings/
How do you guys deal with them? For me it's not being hungry that gets me but it's thinking of something I would want to eat and then not being about to focus on anything else or *not* think about that food until I get it. The only thing I've found that works so far is study drugs and I don't want to start using them obsessively, you know? Curious if anyone else experiences food cravings and how you handle them.

[Rant/Rave] Back on the motherfucking wagon at a disgusting 115.
/u/AdloraOfSolitude [5'2 | CW:115.0 | -4 lbs UGW: 90 lbs | Female]
Created: Sun Aug 20 17:42:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uz6mx/back_on_the_motherfucking_wagon_at_a_disgusting/
Because fuck recovery. I actually need my weekly talk therapy to get my head around non-weight-related issues, but they keep weighing me and insisting I gain weight and I'm afraid if I don't do what they tell me to do, they'll kick me out of therapy and it will be almost impossible to find a new therapist. But fuck all of that. They want me at 1 pound over my starting weight: 120. They don't understand how goddamn disgusting I was at 119. I've *wasted* all those months of effort and time. And hair. I lost a lotta hair. But where am I now? Fat again. I have *nothing* to show for all of my suffering. Fuck that and fuck them.

I've got to figure out how to be able to donate plasma and suffer through weigh-ins at 100 and lower. I'll have to trick their scales somehow, which is going to be easier at the plasma place than at the shrink's. Coin-like weights I can put in my shoes, maybe. But 20+ pounds of them?

[Rant/Rave] My body type is lumpy
Created: Sun Aug 20 17:42:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uz6hq/my_body_type_is_lumpy/
Like, I've always felt like I have nice arms. They tend to stay pretty slim. My legs are proportional and only have a little cottage cheese at the top. My hips are wide enough my legs don't look completely gigantic. And then my boobs are just large and saggy. And my stomach is round and lumpy and just gross. I look in the mirror and all I see are lumps. I'm not even like curvy. I'm just like oatmeal in a bag. I'd be able to accept my body so much better if my stomach and boobs weren't so squish. I have a friend who is shorter than me and a little more stocky I guess is the best word. And she has a round tummy that is cute and smooth. Why can't my stomach just be round but like nice or plump? I don't know. I'm just so frustrated with where I carry my weight and how gross and yellow and giggly it is.

[Other] OMG. New scale automatically added 20 lbs
/u/tresliz [5"7 | too much | [redacted] | ~25 lost | Female]
Created: Sun Aug 20 17:29:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uz42f/omg_new_scale_automatically_added_20_lbs/
HOLY SHIT I FREAKED OUT FOR A SECOND THERE. I just moved to a new place and I need.a.scale. so I bought a cheap ass one from Walmart for like 8 bucks.

holy shit I had a heart attack thinking how bloated and fat must I be to weight 20 more lbs in a few weeks?!!?


happy cus im sick lol
/u/jian-ao [5"4 | 110 | 18.88 | -25 | f]
Created: Sun Aug 20 17:24:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uz35f/happy_cus_im_sick_lol/

[Rant/Rave] Can't purge.. so anxious.
/u/WhatsAMooseSay [5'5 | CW: 204.6 lbs | -70.4lbs | GW: 115 | 26F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 17:16:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uz1hg/cant_purge_so_anxious/
Had a plan to fast all day til dinner, then purge my dinner. It's what I usually do.

So.. made some pasta for the kids. Ate a bunch. Was on my way to purge when we realized our water was off. The county messed up somehow and the water is off to our entire neighborhood.

And now I can't do my post-dinner bathroom trip. It is making me so anxious!

Sorry mobile, No flair.

[Discussion] DAE kind of "dry" fast?
Created: Sun Aug 20 16:53:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uyx7s/dae_kind_of_dry_fast/
I don't drink nothing. I just only drink when I'm thirsty or hungry. Typically 1-2 cups of black coffee, maybe 32-64oz of water and very occasionally some diet soda or broth if I'm really needing it. For me it's easier to fast this way. If I'm forcing myself to chug water all day I get a headache & sick feeling. I'm not a very thirsty person. My intake is similar on a feeding day.

On mobile please flair discussion I guess

[Rant/Rave] I hate myself
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [27F | 5'5 | 125 lb | 21.05 | GW 110 | UGW 105 ]
Created: Sun Aug 20 16:03:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uynbz/i_hate_myself/

I hate myself
Created: Sun Aug 20 16:03:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uyn6w/i_hate_myself/

[Discussion] When you have sharp chest pains...
/u/tootiredrn [5'4" | CW 160.6 | -9.4 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 15:53:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uyl1l/when_you_have_sharp_chest_pains/
Under your left breast that makes it painful to breathe for a few minutes and you know it could be from ED causes (poor diet causing too much gas, acid refluxing from binges, from restricting too much), anxiety, alcohol or caffene and you won't go to the doctors because you feel like it's not that big a deal and if it is then you deserve it because you brought it on yourself by being fucked up.

[Rant/Rave] I'm not fat it's literally just my spine pushing my organs forward. :'))))))
Created: Sun Aug 20 15:43:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uyj06/im_not_fat_its_literally_just_my_spine_pushing_my/

[Discussion] Naltrexone for bulimia/binge eating?
/u/tofuchampion [5'3" | 155 | 28.2 | -21 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 15:39:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uyidh/naltrexone_for_bulimiabinge_eating/
Has anyone here taken naltrexone for binge eating or bulimia? I've been bulimic for about 17 years, and was only able to consistently keep it under control when I was taking Topamax, which killed my appetite. Sadly, that stopped working after a few years, and I've been off it since 2013ish. I've been taking Wellbutrin since then, and it helps a little, but not much.

I've heard very good things about Contrave, which is a new drug for obesity that is a combination of buproprion (Wellbutrin) and naltrexone. I did some googling, and apparently naltrexone has been prescribed for ED's for quite some time. Since I'm already taking Wellbutrin, I was thinking about asking my doc about adding naltrexone when I have my annual exam next month.

I'm overweight right now, but not obese (bmi 28ish). I'm not trying to get underweight, just back to a healthy bmi (21ish would be great - about 120 lbs at 5'3"), and I really want to stop fucking binging. Right now I'm binging 4-5 times a week. Sometimes I purge, sometimes not.

I don't have a psychiatrist at the moment and don't really want to find one. I've been out of therapy for about 3 years and don't want to go back to that, either. I've done all that, I have the knowledge, but it's not enough to kill these damn binge urges (fwiw, this was an issue long before I had an actual ED).

So. If you've taken naltrexone, either by itself or in the form of Contrave, tell me about it! I want to hear your experiences. I'm pretty sure my Dr will give it to me, I just want to know what to expect.

[Intro] Now that this is happening how do I stay healthy?
Created: Sun Aug 20 15:23:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uyewq/now_that_this_is_happening_how_do_i_stay_healthy/
I've had some unhealthy eating habits for the past few years, but nothing ever this bad. Back in november-december I lost about 10 pounds due to a very bad depressive episode, which a lot considering I spent all day in bed, everyday day. In january I managed to snap out of it and start to eat semi normally again, but due to my regularly scheduled depression I don't have a normal appetite so I only ate about 2 meals a day.

I’ve been really stressed and busy the past 2 weeks and started restricting my food without noticing it. Now that I’ve noticed it I'm restricting even more because I've found I really like it.
Part of me knows this is probably really bad and gross but it makes me feel more on top of my life, plus I like the results already. But the part of me that knows this is bad is very concerned with my health, if I'm going to keep restricting how can I assure I’ll stay healthy while restricting and while maintaining when I get to my gw? If this is gonna be a thing for me I at least want to be smart about it and do it as safely as possible.

My goals are pretty realistic since I like my pear shape (thanks mom) and bonespo isn't my thing. My goal bmi is about 20-23, I’m hoping to keep my muscle and most of my curves. I just turned 18, so I really don't want to fuck up my body since I know I still have another 1-5 inches to grow. I also still want to be gaining muscle.

I'm already planning to keep within 300-1000 calories a day since I have a very active job. So far the things i'm doing to stay healthy are making sure I get enough protein and healthy fat, take multi vitamins, drink tons of water, and sleep a lot. Protein will probably be my biggest focus since I'm already vegan and have to make sure I get it in when I'm eating 2000 calories a day.

I'm new to reddit and this sub, so sorry if anything about this post is wrong(/all over the place). My questions summed up are:

-What can I do to stay as healthy as possible and not stunt my growth?

-Once I’m at my gw I'd probably return to eating 1500-2000 calories. Will that be maintainable or will I gain weight back?

Edit for formatting+wording

[Rant/Rave] Does it count as binging if I'm eating a jar of peanut butter slowly with a tiny spoon πŸ˜…
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 15:14:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uyczt/does_it_count_as_binging_if_im_eating_a_jar_of/

[Rant/Rave] There's no scale in my house
Created: Sun Aug 20 15:11:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uyc8q/theres_no_scale_in_my_house/

[Discussion] How often do you weigh yourself?
/u/newtoskate [5'8| CW:128.9lbs | BMI:19.6 | 3rd Relapse: 5lbs | F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 14:27:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uy2ou/how_often_do_you_weigh_yourself/
After recovery all the scales in the house went out the window, except one which for most of the time i can never find where its hidden and only can get weighed once a week by my mum present (i'm a minor) and I used to be fine with that.

Now I have found the hiding place and have been weighing myself nearly every day but I only have access to it in the evening which obviously doesn't help.

I want to stop as it affects my mood but I can't seem too. How often do you weigh yourself?

[Intro] Hi, I'm sneakykeykey, thought I would introduce myself.
/u/sneakykeykey [5'4" | SW:150 | CW: 125 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 14:19:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uy0zn/hi_im_sneakykeykey_thought_i_would_introduce/
Hi all, this is my first time posting, I've been lurking for a while and this seems like a really supportive and nice community for this awful disorder I have. I've been struggling with my relationship with food for as long as I can remember. I have gone through periods of being overweight, normal, and underweight throughout my life, but never really feel comfortable wherever I am. At my lowest weight, I was 105, I was running 7 miles 5 days a week and I feel like that was the only point where I was happy about my body.

Hoping I can get to place where I am happy when I look in the mirror, but who knows if that will ever happen. After a year of eating with my emotions and depression, I've gained a lot and while I am emotionally happier and not as depressed anymore in general. My eating has gotten more controlled again and anxiety has set in again. It is always an up and down cycle with my depression/anxiety and eating habits. I aim for perfection, and when I am doing well that almost seems attainable. When I decide I'm ready to care about myself again, I tend to care too much. Being this way makes me feel like I have got it all together, instead of not caring about anything. I tend to do mostly fasting/restricting and obsessively calorie count and check my fitbit stats. I just want to reach my goals and feel happy about my body before I am going to start eating intuitively again.

Anyways that's me, sorry if my post seems all over the place. I think I have all my info in my flair. I like listening to everyone's posts as it kind of puts things into reality for me. I am hoping I can vent sometimes about stuff, because no one in my life likes to or wants to listen about my issues on this topic. So thanks in advance.

[Rant/Rave] Relapsing like never before.
/u/CowOffTheFarm [65" | 157 | 26.4 | - | F | GW 120]
Created: Sun Aug 20 14:16:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uy0es/relapsing_like_never_before/
I've been overeating. Not exactly bingeing, just consuming way over my tdee consistently all day. Especially at night with alcohol.

Today my habits were picked at and I told another person I'd make a change. So I went to the grocery store to buy supplies for meal prep. But...

In the same strip mall is a FroYo place. So I ate a fuck-ton of froyo, purged in the grocery store, bought meal prep stuff and diet pills.

Then was stressed and had a shot as soon as I got home.


[Discussion] Laxative tea, smooth move/pinalim
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 135lbs|21.3|-50lbs|F|29yrs]
Created: Sun Aug 20 14:09:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uxyvp/laxative_tea_smooth_movepinalim/

[Rant/Rave] Exams are hard - even harder when you have an ED
/u/es_0 [167 cm | GW: 47 kg | 20F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 14:07:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uxyg3/exams_are_hard_even_harder_when_you_have_an_ed/
It's exam season in my university right now.

I know, everybody around me is struggling and under a lot of pressure, but boy... having an ED feels like dealing with a whole other level of difficulty. It makes me want to scream, it's just so fucking unfair.

I constantly have to pull myself together. Ignoring hunger pangs or stomach aches. Dragging myself out of bed after a night of stress-bingeing and purging. Trying to concentrate while all I can think about is how fucking hungry/full/gross/fat/disgusting/bloated/ugly/stupid I am. Trying to make the right decisions instead of giving in on self-destructive behavior.

It's a "high-level" university, people deal with all kinds of stress and pressure around here, I'm sure there are plenty of people who also struggle with a mental illness... but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't extremely (!!!) jealous of people that seem to have it somewhat together, people that just can and do.

[Intro] πŸ‘ P E A C H πŸ‘
Created: Sun Aug 20 13:38:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uxs4r/p_e_a_c_h/

[Discussion] Anyone else do High Restriction?
/u/newtoskate [5'8| CW:128.9lbs | BMI:19.6 | 3rd Relapse: 5lbs | F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 13:29:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uxqd9/anyone_else_do_high_restriction/

[Tip] Almond milk lifehack
/u/dobelieveinbear [5'3 | 103 | 18.2 | GW: 90ish | F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 12:54:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uxilm/almond_milk_lifehack/
I'm cringing because I actually used the word lifehack, but whatever, I thought this was worth sharing: Next time you get the chance, put a little bit of ground cinnamon in your almond milk. To me, it makes it taste just like a graham cracker.

When thinspo is actually eye bleach..
Created: Sun Aug 20 12:22:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uxbs6/when_thinspo_is_actually_eye_bleach/

[Other] The 14-year-old-MPA-lurking version of myself would be so proud
/u/ilostmynarwhal [5'8" |F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 11:49:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ux4g9/the_14yearoldmpalurking_version_of_myself_would/

[Rant/Rave] BED, therapy, and medication
/u/NuclearLemon76 [5'11" | 165 | 23.0 | M]
Created: Sun Aug 20 11:44:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ux37o/bed_therapy_and_medication/
Hey guys, I used to be a regular on this sub a few years ago. I was actually one of the mods for a while; then I started self-medicating with Adderall and that pretty much cured my ED. I was skinny, productive, and happy. Due to career reasons, I had to stop taking it about a year ago and now I've relapsed into full fledged binge eating disorder. I've gained over 30 pounds and I hate myself.

Lately I've started thinking about the feelings I had back when I was anorexic, and I remembered how much I miss that. I miss being cold. I miss seeing my ribs. I miss how my collar bones stuck out. I miss how defined my cheek bones were. I miss how much people cared about me. I miss the attention. Now I'm overweight and I don't have nearly as many friends, I lost my girlfriend, and I'm overall just a crappy person.

I'm a guy and I'm an athlete. I'm the least suspected person to have an ED. No one understands what I go through at every meal. What the binges are like. I'm in therapy, but I feel like I'm getting nowhere. I know what works - Adderall - but in order to accomplish my goals in my career field I can't take it or be prescribed it. So here I am.

I miss Ana's voice in my head. I want her back. I know how bad that sounds, but I just want to say it.

[Rant/Rave] Sunday funday?
Created: Sun Aug 20 11:42:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ux2xy/sunday_funday/

[Other] Purged homemade German cake in a portable toilet while two boys played with sticks 5 metres away.
/u/janesavage [170 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 18F ]
Created: Sun Aug 20 11:38:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ux20b/purged_homemade_german_cake_in_a_portable_toilet/

[Discussion] Does anyone else feel like they're too "wide"
Created: Sun Aug 20 11:28:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uwzyy/does_anyone_else_feel_like_theyre_too_wide/
I really want my waist to be a small 22 inches but realistically I don't know if it'll ever be smaller than 27 inches because of my "wide" frame :'(. I have wide shoulders, wide ribcage, wide bust. When I turn to the side I don't look so bad but front facing I hate myself.

[Discussion] Is anybody else here a total watermelon addict?
/u/OneCanNeverBeTooThin [F | 5'5" | HW: 216 | LW: 119| CW: 125 | GW: 100]
Created: Sun Aug 20 11:26:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uwzm5/is_anybody_else_here_a_total_watermelon_addict/
Not gonna lie, I'm mostly creating this thread because I've recently discovered I am capable of eating an entire watermelon in a day by myself and I feel ashamed.

But seriously though, watermelons are the ultimate binge food. 91% water and 27 calories per 100 grams. Not to mention delicious and better than any kind of ice-cream on a hot day.

[Help] [Help] gained an inch all over
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 11:04:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uwv1l/help_gained_an_inch_all_over/
Before I left on holiday I was (or at least, thought I was) ~100 and 32-23-34. Weighed last week on my last day of holiday (on a hotel scale, after dinner and just getting off an airplane), and I'd jumped up to 110. I thought it had to be a mistake but I measured today and I've gained an inch all over. So now I'm worried that I never actually managed to get down to 100 and I've just been lying to myself. I can't believe I managed to reset all my progress like that so quickly, and I'm worried that this is a sign that if I ever try to eat without counting calories I'll just get fat. I feel like I'm constantly in this endless cycle of losing five pounds and then gaining them all back and I just want it to be done, especially since it takes me ages to lose any noticeable amount of weight since I'm relatively short. I'm so crushed.
Edit: and I have to host a brunch in an hour. Kill me.

[Discussion] Who has PCOS here?
/u/girlmeetscontrol [6'0 | -21| BMI: 22.16 | GW: 120 | F + gf vegan]
Created: Sun Aug 20 10:43:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uwqjq/who_has_pcos_here/
I have pushed myself so hard in the past month. I have done everything I can to trust the process and not weigh, at least to the point where I thought it would help me. Fast forward to Thursday. The scale read a weight that I thought I had already by-passed. Even though I know I've lost 20 pounds, it feels hopeless because I'm still overweight. I got really upset about it, to the point that I couldn't bear to look at myself.

My roommate knows that I have issues with this. She tried to spin it on the fact that she had an eating disorder when she was in high school, and that she understood exactly what I'm going through. She weighs about 50-60 pounds less than I do, is gorgeous, and eats almost 3500++ calories a day and gains nothing. I couldn't respond back to her because I know that I would have said something mean.

I feel like I'm spiraling. How do any of you manage your PCOS symptoms (like insulin resistance or the weight gain) with your ED? Do you lose? Does the weight stay off?

I'm desperate trying to make this work, and I feel like I'm at my wit's end. Any suggestions would be incredible.

[Rant/Rave] I don't get why I can't stop myself from eating
/u/fragilmountain [5'7 | 238 | 36 | GW: 110]
Created: Sun Aug 20 10:22:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uwm92/i_dont_get_why_i_cant_stop_myself_from_eating/
It's like I can't go a single day without food. Yet people are able to do it all the time and not even notice/care.

Instead i'm over here eating thousands of calories and wondering why i'm like this. Great.

[Help] Chewing and Spitting Addict
Created: Sun Aug 20 10:16:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uwkzr/chewing_and_spitting_addict/
I don't know what's happening to me. I can't stop c/s-ing. Before I used to do it occasionally, but lately I'm doing it every chance I get. I'm addicted and I can't stop and the worst part is that I still feel bad afterwards because I wasted food my family could've eaten.
But it's still wasted food when I eat it out of boredom, so might as well choose wastefulness that doesn't make me fat. I need to stop. But I don't know how, because I'd rather c/s than binge.
I only do this when I'm staying at my grandma's where I know i can get away with this behaviour, so I can't wait to go back to my parents where I can't c/s without definitely getting caught. I'm so disgusting. I'm such a wreck and I hate myself.

[Help] Water weight
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 116.6 | GW: 110 | M/15]
Created: Sun Aug 20 10:05:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uwiqr/water_weight/

[Discussion] Does anyone know why subs like r/loseit seem to forbid <1200 calorie restriction?
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 196 lb | GW: 120 lb | 22F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 10:04:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uwin0/does_anyone_know_why_subs_like_rloseit_seem_to/
Like it seems kind of ridiculous. All the sub 5'3" ladies complain about not being able to lose as much as fast, but I'm just like, eat less??? If a smaller person needs fewer calories, wouldn't it follow they'd need fewer nutrients?

[Rant/Rave] Thanks mom - no, really, thank you
/u/tresliz [5"7 | too much | [redacted] | ~25 lost | Female]
Created: Sun Aug 20 09:43:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uwebh/thanks_mom_no_really_thank_you/
Two days ago my mom commented on my weight out of the blue. "You look good. You've lost weight. Your clothes are looser, do you want to go shopping?"

I told her thank you and I hadn't noticed. How vain is that lol.

And if I'm down a size, which I hope I am soon, I do want to go shopping. Thank you mom for feeding my indulgence omg.

[Rant/Rave] Haven't been able to stop eating for two weeks... I just want someone to euthanise me at this point.
/u/liliannereid [170 cm | CW: 66.7 kg | SW: 78.1 kg | UGW: 58.5-60.5 kg | 25F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 09:37:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uwd2i/havent_been_able_to_stop_eating_for_two_weeks_i/

[Thinspo] Thinspiration 8.20
/u/TeenyBeanieWeenie [5'6 (66 in)| 127 lbs| 20 BMI | - 3 (This week) | F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 09:22:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uwa5g/thinspiration_820/

Created: Sun Aug 20 09:14:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uw8q5/garcinia/

[Tip] "This is a support subreddit for those who are suffering with an ED or disordered eating behaviors but are not ready for recovery." This does not. Make. Any. Sense! I suffered hard anorexia a long time ago and I never got you "not ready for recovery" types. Read this instead, it's true.
Created: Sun Aug 20 08:57:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uw55x/this_is_a_support_subreddit_for_those_who_are/

How many kcals do you eat per day?
Created: Sun Aug 20 08:49:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uw3sy/how_many_kcals_do_you_eat_per_day/

[Rant/Rave] If you avoid large-scale social interaction and leaving your literal and figurative comfort zone because of your weight and other complexes or mental illnesses that may have stemmed from or caused your shitty relationship with food and now you feel stuck and unworthy of life, clap your hands πŸ‘πŸ‘
/u/iloveitosusumu [5'9" | CW166 | GW120 | BMI24.07 | 19F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 08:47:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uw3an/if_you_avoid_largescale_social_interaction_and/
I haven't done a single thing this entire summer except work and sleep and overeat. My dad and littlest brother just went to visit extended family in Spain and I didn't go, 100% because I'm an ugly fat fuck who shouldn't be seen and I know I'd be eating a ton of shit like octopus in oil and fried peppers. Instead, I'm at home fasting and eating 1000 calories breaks and hating my entire existence, so it's not all bad :)))))

[Discussion] August 20th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [27F | 5'5 | 125 lb | 21.05 | GW 110 | UGW 105 ]
Created: Sun Aug 20 07:50:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uvt97/august_20th_2017_question_of_the_day/
Whose team are you on?

(??? Idk)

/u/MhmStephany [5'3" |-44 lbs | UGW 101]
Created: Sun Aug 20 07:28:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uvppf/i_fuckin_did_it_i_actually_stopped_my_fat_ass/
Sorry for the click bait but I'm so excited & my best friend is still sleeping I think (ahem u/blondecurlyhair).

I have posted here before talking about my problem with binge drinking and then subsequently binge eating. It super sucked because when I relapsed into my ED back in December, my only crutch was to drink a lot a fuckin wine and the occasional whole bottle of liquor with a chaser of 4 beers. Lots & lots of empty calories es no bueno. I posted for advice, but the general consensus was I should probably stop drinking if I get so drunk that 1) I go over my calories just from alcohol and 2) I go even FURTHER over my calories from all the shitty carby junky fast food and snacks I devour afterwards.

Well, good news is I barely drink anymore! I can't reason with myself with how many calories are in alcohol enough to do it daily like I was before.


I went to a party last night with the express mission to drink (1 shot of whisky in Coke Zero, 3 shots of tequila with lime slices & salt). I got pretty god damn drunk because I'd only eaten an egg white yesterday, on purpose to allow the alcohol calories, but I DIDNT EAT ANY SNACKS.


I'm so happy w myself. My resolve is getting so good. And I just knew the next day I'd probably be a little hungover and a lot disappointed and upset and regretting life if I ate anything and I didn't just -sigh- I'm so proud of myself for once.

[Rant/Rave] Visiting my family and they keep commenting on my weight :(
Created: Sun Aug 20 06:38:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uvhwj/visiting_my_family_and_they_keep_commenting_on_my/
I've been clinging to bulimia recovery by the tip of my pinky finger for the past couple months. Every day is a battle to stop lapses and stay out of full-blown relapse. When I was severely bulimic I gained a lot of weight bc I binged more than I purged and often was a lazy purger (which I know is a fucked up thing to say). Now in recovery I have lost the weight I gained and reached a healthy weight. 140-145 lbs at 5'8.5". Healthy, but everyone has skewed views of what a healthy weight is so maybe thin in normies eyes nowadays.

Growing up, I was always fat. So I guess my being a healthy weight is a bit jarring to my family especially because my mum and sister are overweight. I'm visiting them for the weekend and the comments just wouldnt stop yesterday.

It started when I tried on a pair of small leggings. My sister - "Ohhh my god, you're soooo tiny!"

Later everyone was feeling hot, but I was cold. My sister - "Oh my god you need to eat more, you have no body fat to keep you warm, take that fitbit off or I'm going to rip it off of you ^hahaha"

(My mom always says shit like this too)

Later we were at a family event. My dad kept talking about how hungry I must be, how "we need to get some food into you," and then later when I got a big plate of food "Wow that's what you were waiting for, better than protein bars eh??? You mustve been so hungry!"

(I ate pretty much what everyone else ate all day. Not sure why I would be more hungry than them.)

And of course upon seeing my big plate of food everyone told me how much food it was, how hungry I mustve been, wow thats SOOO MUCH FOOD!

It was a lot of food. My TDEE is in the 2000s and I'm an active person. Fuck off.

When I'm with my family and they say that shit it makes me feel so fucking disgusting, guys. Idek why, it just makes me feel like my recovery is totally invalid, they think I'm starving myself even though I'm trying SO HARD TO EAT HEALTHILY (so hard, you guys) and it seriously makes me never want to eat again. It makes me feel so fucking gross and self conscious and just AWARE of my body.

I ended up snapping at my sister and my dad which I never do. But idk. I feel so gross. I want to restrict now. I hate it. I fucking hate this.

Sorry for the essay. :( :( :( :(

Daily Food Diary! August 20, 2017
Created: Sun Aug 20 06:11:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uve7b/daily_food_diary_august_20_2017/
This is a daily food diary thread for August 20, 2017.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)

[Sticky] Sunday: Share your favorite recipes!
Created: Sun Aug 20 06:10:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uve5j/sunday_share_your_favorite_recipes/
Looking for memes? [Right this way~](/r/ProEDmemes)!

[Rant/Rave] I'm sitting here crying over food again (:
Created: Sun Aug 20 05:53:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uvbo9/im_sitting_here_crying_over_food_again/
Haha what the hell is wrong with me honestly

So my mum fried chicken this morning and I honestly love chicken in almost any form so I was planning on fitting that in today with some rice I made last night

Everything was fine until my mum took the portion of rice I had made and ate it and now there's no rice left (Asian problems) and now I have to make more rice but that means i'll have to warm up the chicken because its cold and chicken gets gross if I microwave it and that means i'd have to eat the chicken cold but cold chicken in my opinion is disgusting, and its almost nine pm and its way to late to make rice but I wanted rice with my chicken damn it and now I can't eat my chicken :(

So I was like ok fuck it i'll just eat cereal but as soon as I walked into the kitchen I started staring at the fucking chicken and I realized I couldn't eat cereal because then i'd be wasting the chicken. At this point i'm hangry and PMSing and so I just start bawling like an idiot in the middle of the kitchen.

This sounds so stupid now that i'm reading it out but for some reason it really means a lot to me. The only thing that sounds appealing to me is that damn chicken but I cant eat it now which means I can't eat dinner and its just UGHH

I just really want my chicken :(

EDIT: LOL you're all right haha I was overreacting
I got my chicken ;)

[Rant/Rave] Stalked people I knew from highschool on social media in a fit of depression - am now even more depressed.
/u/bagelzboi [5'3 | CW:93bs |]
Created: Sun Aug 20 05:52:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uvbhf/stalked_people_i_knew_from_highschool_on_social/
Was hoping I'd see people gain weight (because i'm a horrible person who has no other achievements to feel proud of other than losing 40lbs which was a byproduct of an eating disorder and *not* by living healthily and making good choices,)

**But** it turns out they're all healthy weights and leading successful lives!! and they're all still friends with each other!! meanwhile I have no friends! several untreated mental illnesses! and an inability to cope with stress in healthy ways! yay!

[Discussion] Any of yall hate looking like a grown up?
/u/Biebercel [BMI: 18.8 | Useless junkie loser]
Created: Sun Aug 20 05:48:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uvb1c/any_of_yall_hate_looking_like_a_grown_up/

[Rant/Rave] I always get confused doing LAUNDRY of all things :|
/u/CorpulentThrowaway [5'5.5 | -27 | LW+GW 95 | 23M]
Created: Sun Aug 20 05:35:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uv9gc/i_always_get_confused_doing_laundry_of_all_things/
I always do laundry for my boyfriend and I. I think I've mentioned here before, but he has really bad knees (to the point he has disability tags in his car for them) and the stairs to his basement are particularly narrow and hard on them, and that's where the washer/dryer is, so.

For context, I am 5'5 with limbs of brittle spaghetti and he is 6'2 and mighty. Not overweight, just broad and with a fair bit of muscle just from day-to-day moving heavyish stuff around.

Anyway: when I fold the laundry, I sort it all out in piles of his/mine to make putting it away easier. But literally every time I get confused and have to re-sort at least one thing because I'll grab a pair of his pants--which, as he's 9 inches taller than me, are SIGNIFICANTLY LARGER THAN MINE even though he's a healthy weight--and go "oh yeah that's about how fat I am" and fold it up with mine without thinking. It does not even occur to me until I glance at the pile again and notice the one pair way larger than the rest.

Yesterday I did one better. We recently moved in with his sister while his house sells and we find a new place. I was pulling pants out of the dryer and most of them were his. His, his, his--and when I pulled out a pair of my own I literally went ":? What child left their pants here? does his sister babysit?" because my brain just could not fucking accept they were mine for a moment? They look SO much smaller than what I could possibly wear but they're starting to get baggy on me! Somehow "ah yes a mystery preteen I've never heard about must have washed their clothes here for some reason" made more sense than "my legs are this small" in that moment. I am *absurd.*

Does anyone else have this weird clothing dysmorphia? I swear to god clothes grow three sizes as soon as they get on my body.

[Help] What did I do???
/u/eatdrinksmokegreen [5'4" | 117.5 lbs | 20.1 | -52.5 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 05:22:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uv7wd/what_did_i_do/

[Discussion] Livejournal
Created: Sun Aug 20 04:06:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uuz5g/livejournal/

[Discussion] Fav articles/stories about ED
Created: Sun Aug 20 03:24:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uuukz/fav_articlesstories_about_ed/
Ive never come across any good online reading material and just wondering if anyone has anything they thought was an authentic look into this life?

Link any articles/essays/short stories ❀️

[Intro] Lurking no more!
/u/fuckwit_charlie [5'2 | 86lbs | BMI: 16 | W/L: 16lbs | F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 03:03:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uusb7/lurking_no_more/
Hello ladies and gents!

Been lurking for a few weeks, just thought I would pop up and say hello! I'm a relapsing anorexic and although none of us would choose to be like this, it's comforting that there's a community that 'gets it'. I'm 5'2, 86lbs with my UGW as 80, so I just need some pals and motivation to get me through it!

I'm currently at a plateau and need some advice on how to break it. I work out three times a week for around 1.5 hours (30-40 mins cardio and the rest weight training) and walk my dog for at least 45 minutes the days I don't gym, and usually max out at 800 kcal. Never really b/p or c/s, but laxatives are my best friend! Any help or advice would be appreciated, and sorry for the long post!

[Rant/Rave] Waking up, smelling dinner in the whole house.
Created: Sun Aug 20 02:59:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uurqx/waking_up_smelling_dinner_in_the_whole_house/

Pub food? Camping?
Created: Sun Aug 20 02:13:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uumu5/pub_food_camping/

[Rant/Rave] I haven't been interacting here much lately
Created: Sun Aug 20 01:18:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uugnf/i_havent_been_interacting_here_much_lately/

[Rant/Rave] Party β‰  Binge
/u/janesavage [170 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 18F ]
Created: Sun Aug 20 00:20:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uu9qz/party_binge/
Feeling stoked rn. Today was one of the girls in my host family's birthday and we had a party with just about 20 people and enough food for twice that.
But I only had two thin BratwΓΌrste, some sort of cherry fizzy drink, and less than a quarter of a cup of potato salad (which I forced myself to finish to keep up some semblance of normality*). By the time the cake came out, I wasn't even in the mood. Plus sugar hasn't really been agreeing with me here, anyway, so that's a plus.
The table was laden with several types of salad, three kinds of cupcakes, some roasted meats, lots of booze, and, the kicker, two big bags of BrΓΆtchen. And I had (almost) *none* of it. My basic strategy was to pick something out from each possibility that bothered me: the cupcake "hamburgers" had desiccated coconut. The other muffin-like ones had something mixed in, but I didn't know what it was -- no eating those! Success.
Of course, I like trying new things, and that kind of an excuse directly defies that, but whatever helps, right?
Maybe next time will be even better and I *won't* cry in the portable toilet for five minutes!

*Not that it really mattered. I'm an introvert and tend to fade out of the collective consciousness at parties, especially when no-one is speaking a language I've nearly enough confidence in.
(P.S. I was also scrolling through r/proED practically the whole time. Love y'all 😘❀️)

[Help] Dealing with the cold??
Created: Sun Aug 20 00:09:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uu8e4/dealing_with_the_cold/
I'm always fucking cold and I can't stand it. I see all of these aesthetic girls thinner than me in shorts and tank tops and all I can think (aside from goals) is how???
How do you deal with the cold?

[Discussion] eating a little vs exercising & eating more?
Created: Sat Aug 19 23:48:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uu5lh/eating_a_little_vs_exercising_eating_more/

Created: Sat Aug 19 23:41:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uu4kr/restart/

[Help] Grocery shopping staples in Canada
Created: Sat Aug 19 23:31:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uu36y/grocery_shopping_staples_in_canada/
I've gone through many posts about grocery staples but I can't recognise some of the brands that are mentioned like I've never seen halo top or arctic zero.

I have come into an extra $80 and would like to buy myself some low calorie foods that will last a long time and some fruits and vegetables. What do you all buy, if you have calorie counts that would be amazing! I'm not a huge fan of most vegetables, but I love all fruits.

Also question: I can't get a straight answer from google or mfp. How many calories in one average size chicken breast? I don't have a food scale 😭

[Humor] Stomach Flu day #5
Created: Sat Aug 19 23:16:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uu18o/stomach_flu_day_5/

[Humor] "Wow, you're eating really fast"
/u/tacehtelle [5"6 | 119.5 | 19.61 :( | 6.5 lbs :( | Female]
Created: Sat Aug 19 23:07:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6utzv0/wow_youre_eating_really_fast/

[Humor] Started on bujo journal app today, what do you guys think of my saved activities
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 196 lb | GW: 120 lb | 22F]
Created: Sat Aug 19 22:16:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6utsd5/started_on_bujo_journal_app_today_what_do_you/

[Goal] No scales from now until October
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Sat Aug 19 22:11:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6utrl2/no_scales_from_now_until_october/
I've become obsessed. Weigh in in the morning, before I go to bed, after I take a shit. My husband is concerned and frankly so am I. Everytime I'm still at my plateau i binge and practice a lot of self hate.

So I'm breaking the chains and won't be getting back on the scales until October 1st. I've got my schedule planned out so I'm eating 1100 calories, working out to burn at least 400 calories and hopefully by October I'll see some results.

4 Day Fast buddies?
Created: Sat Aug 19 21:58:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6utpff/4_day_fast_buddies/

when i'm done running...
/u/kennedyy8 [5'9 | 130 | 18.85 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 19 20:21:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ut8wl/when_im_done_running/

[Other] I've Pavloved myself. [Humor]
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Sat Aug 19 19:28:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uszqa/ive_pavloved_myself_humor/
I just finished a cup of plain old chamomile tea. Now I'm having stomach cramps.

Because I have a serious love-hate relationship with the chamomile Smooth Move tea, my body now strongly believes that *all* chamomile tea is a secret laxative.

I've just accidentally classically conditioned my intestines.

[Other] August 19th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [27F | 5'5 | 125 lb | 21.05 | GW 110 | UGW 105 ]
Created: Sat Aug 19 19:10:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uswbt/august_19th_2017_question_of_the_day/
What really bothered you today?

(Sorry it's so late everyone, but for this one it kind of works!)

[Humor] Someone took me out to a buffet tonight
Created: Sat Aug 19 18:55:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ustsl/someone_took_me_out_to_a_buffet_tonight/

[Discussion] Your must haves on your grocery list
/u/tobethinspo [5'0 | 21.1 | CW: 102.6]
Created: Sat Aug 19 18:44:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uss0f/your_must_haves_on_your_grocery_list/
Going grocery shopping in a little bit and was reminded of all the grocery haul photos that I've seen here. What are your must haves/buys whenever you go shopping? Why?

[Humor] Turns out I'm really good at maintaining
Created: Sat Aug 19 18:11:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uskqf/turns_out_im_really_good_at_maintaining/

[Other] Grocery Haul ($35)
/u/aceshighsays [5'2" | C: 110.2 | -27.8 | F | G: 99]
Created: Sat Aug 19 18:09:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uskct/grocery_haul_35/

[Discussion] When do you
Created: Sat Aug 19 17:24:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6usc1q/when_do_you/

[Rant/Rave] Bought and ate cookie dough for the first time today...
/u/timetofadeaway [5'2 | CW scaredlikeamouse | LW 91 | GW1 110 | UGW 90 | F20]
Created: Sat Aug 19 17:24:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6usbz4/bought_and_ate_cookie_dough_for_the_first_time/
Why is this legal?

This god awful deliciousness is cocaine in a packet, how does the government expect us to all be at a healthy BMI and fight the war on obesity with this shit!????

I'm angry. But it's worth the calories right? Even if I'm living on monster for the rest of the day.


[Help] Antidepressant and Weight Gain
/u/tinyaussiedreamer [5'2"|CW 53kg| BMI 21.96| -6kg |22F]
Created: Sat Aug 19 17:21:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6usbf9/antidepressant_and_weight_gain/

[Help] nauseous with c&s?
/u/jian-ao [5"4 | 110 | 18.88 | -25 | f]
Created: Sat Aug 19 17:11:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6us9gr/nauseous_with_cs/
since i started c&s, been rly nauseous whenever i actually try to eat food, at least for the first couple minutes...is this normal?

[Other] anyone have a twitter?
/u/thinsecret [5'8" | CW 155 | BMI 23.6 | SW 190 | GW 123 | 21F]
Created: Sat Aug 19 16:54:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6us65a/anyone_have_a_twitter/
I mostly lurk here, but I probably tweet every five minutes. Delete if this isn't allowed.

If you want a follow on twitter drop your @ below!

[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo.
Created: Sat Aug 19 16:53:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6us620/daily_thinspo/

[Rant/Rave] My alcohol tolerance has completely disappeared.
/u/Cotey1 [Height 5'4 | CW 112lbs | GW 102lbs | BMI 19.22 | Gender F]
Created: Sat Aug 19 16:28:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6us1fo/my_alcohol_tolerance_has_completely_disappeared/
So throughout the last year i've had drinks with my friend and can usually stand 2-3 shots and be on the brink of being drunk, but me drunk is just me acting more chill so there isn't much difference.

But two days ago now we were at the house of one of my friends and i literally had 3/4 of a shot (some coconut flavoured rum, was delicious) and five minutes later i was ready to pass out and they forced me to eat bread and peanut butter and i felt so shitty and because of my ED i can't even drink anymore.

it was like life was lagging? like i would look somewhere and it would take a couple seconds to catch up, and they all thought i was dying. i'm so so glad i didn't pass out because i know they would have called an ambulance and the thought of that is terrifying.

does anyone relate to having no tolerance anymore?

[Help] Non-ED person here. My boyfriend is bulimic, need advice on how to deal with it.
Created: Sat Aug 19 16:28:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6us1ds/noned_person_here_my_boyfriend_is_bulimic_need/
I fucking love him to bits, he's one of the very few people in my life who has genuinely given my existence some meaning. Seeing him doing this to himself breaks my heart and I feel so useless.

He's had bulimia for years, but that issue was never in the forefront given a lot of other shit we have had to go through, now it's easily the thing that dominates my fears about him most. I just wish there were a way for him to be able to see himself through my eyes and realise the damage his disorder is doing and how unbelievably attractive he really is.

I'm doing my best to understand his condition and to be sympathetic despite being completely unable to grasp the logic under which he functions, the glaring contradictions he knows he's making, the damage he knows he's doing, etc.

I know there isn't a way for me to "cure" him or whatever, I just want to know what I can do to help him even if only to make him slightly happier with himself. I've done a fair amount of research, but most of my resources have been geared toward people suffering EDs themselves. So I stumbled across the subreddit and decided speaking directly to people going through the same things as my boyfriend would maybe provide a clearer picture.

So here goes:

β€’ What are absolute no-nos in trying to help?

β€’ What are absolute yes-yeses(?) in trying to help?

β€’ What are things I should definitely avoid saying?

β€’ What are good ways to prevent myself from being dragged down into an even
deeper depression because of this, while still being there for him?

I know this type of post isn't typical to this sub, I just hope it starts a bit of a conversation on this topic.

[Help] Ugh. Laxatives.
/u/Aprikoosi_flex [5'9" | cw 127 | gw 117 | ugw 110 | 25FπŸ’Ž]
Created: Sat Aug 19 14:36:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6urf9e/ugh_laxatives/
On mobile, please tag rant.

I took some to lose some water weight, as I'm trying to look nice next weekend. Yeahhhhh I'm about to work for five hours and it's NOW HITTING ME. I pooped three times before I left and I'm feeling the cramps as I sit in the parking lot. I'm also on my period and I'm cramping from that. Help me πŸ˜ͺπŸ˜ͺπŸ˜ͺπŸ˜ͺπŸ˜ͺπŸ˜ͺπŸ˜ͺ

[Other] Grocery Haul
/u/mildolconf [5'9" | 134.2 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 19 13:47:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ur5g1/grocery_haul/

[Other] Not necessarily ED related but do any of you find it super hard to find good friends?
/u/ri-ri [Height 5'3 | CW 105 | GW 95 | Female]
Created: Sat Aug 19 13:39:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ur3tf/not_necessarily_ed_related_but_do_any_of_you_find/
Hey /r/ProED,

This is not super ED related but I am curious to ask anyway,

Do you guys find it super hard to find GOOD friends? By that I mean friends who are not flakey, and actually text you to hang out? Friends who you can trust, and go to, for advice?

I feel like people are just shitty and with my ED its more difficult to be able to trust people.

Edit : k. Can we all just be best friends and real to each other ?! πŸ’šβ€οΈ

[Rant/Rave] rave - im one kidney infection away from my goal weight *~*~
/u/bellexy [5'8 | 24. 82 |GW 121 | -18 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 19 13:16:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uqz2a/rave_im_one_kidney_infection_away_from_my_goal/
not really but you know

so work stress has decimated my life over the last few months and I literally gained 10 real life human pounds (so whenever you feel like a fuck up, keep that in mind). I would not stop eating. id binge on snacks in between all three meals and then have beer/cocktails after work too, which is insane considering I used to *strictly* intermittent fast, only eating between 7-10 pm. I went up a pant size it was that bad so yeah, I fucked uppp.

well! monday night I started getting chills, tuesday was 18 hours of straight up delirious fever, sweating, chills, I think my dresser is trying to talk to me, the whole nine yards. got to urgent care then sent to the ER for a severe kidney infection. ct scans and lots of fluids and antibiotics and pain killers later I'm back at home blah blah, five pounds down (I'm sure completely related to dehydration) and now I'm feeling much better as far as pain goes but my appetite is still just gone. I can't bring myself to drink anything but water - even diet coke, sprite zero, etc tastes weird and gross now. it took me over an hour to drink one beer yesterday. I tried to eat some oatmeal this morning and could barely manage half of it.

I am so insanely excited it's like I don't even have to try right now and it is the exact fresh start I needed to break out of that binge cycle. like it wholly sucked and still isn't that fun, but god DAMN do I feel lucky for it.

[Other] Group chats?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~55.6 | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Sat Aug 19 12:59:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uqvg1/group_chats/
Are there any kik groups out there still going? Sorry if this isn't allowed.

[Rant/Rave] strange grief?
/u/descloux [5'9.5 | 145 | 21.11 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 19 12:51:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uqtvx/strange_grief/
This past day or two have been my first "normal" days in terms of calorie consumption since I found out my best friend died. Ever since he died all of my focus has been on vanity, beauty, and restriction. I've been splurging on makeup and clothing, etc. Things I never cared much about at all before.

He took his own life. I feel a sense of responsibility to him to do all of the things he believed he couldn't. Seeking beauty is a way to make me feel like I am furthering myself. I think about committing suicide a lot, but life has become this game I'm playing with myself, and I want to win.
I binged last night to this morning, and though I'm embarrassed and saddened I feel resolve to not fucking screw up again. I want to be a tougher person when I come out of this. Thinking about him is the ultimate appetite suppressant. I'm a shitty person to find that a gain out of all of this.

I can't win this because either way he's gone.

[Rant/Rave] Idk
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Sat Aug 19 12:38:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uqr2j/idk/
The state of mental healthcare in the US is fucked. I feel like medical professionals in the field of psychology don't care enough about the quality of life of people with depression, and no one could do enough if they did even care. They just care if you're alive at all. I've considered suicide almost every day for at least the past month, and, just because I haven't attempted, doctors don't think I need more or different help than I'm already getting. I've been inpatient 3 times in the past year, and I know it's not right for me. And that makes me scared to even say I'm suicidal because I don't want to be forced into one.

I hate this world. I hate how harsh it is. I'm **far** too sensitive for any of it.

[Discussion] Any of you at the University of Oklahoma
/u/dinklebot117 [5'11"|120|16.7|18M]
Created: Sat Aug 19 12:32:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uqpzd/any_of_you_at_the_university_of_oklahoma/

[Other] Baking makes me not hungry. I'm not very good at it, but hey its a new hobby
Created: Sat Aug 19 12:20:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uqnbj/baking_makes_me_not_hungry_im_not_very_good_at_it/

[Tip] My New Favorite Breakfast (or lunch or dinner or all of the above)
/u/c_marier [5'6"| 110.2 17.8 | 23F]
Created: Sat Aug 19 12:07:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uqkin/my_new_favorite_breakfast_or_lunch_or_dinner_or/
Cook 2 egg whites (34) with salt and pepper. Spread a rice cake (40) with lite Laughing Cow cheese wedge (25). Heap the scrambeldish egg whites on top of the rice cake and let sit for a minute so that the cheese spread gets melty.

= filling, seemingly large, yummy, flavorful meal/snack for a total of 99 calories.

I used the pepper jack flavor of cheese which added a nice spice. Spicy things always make me feel fuller.

[Intro] Intro and progress
/u/dinklebot117 [5'11"|120|16.7|18M]
Created: Sat Aug 19 12:04:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uqjuf/intro_and_progress/
So ive been lurking here for a while and finally decided to post.

Heres the story: last summer i was diagnosed with depression and binging was my coping mechanism. I got up to 210 lbs and it destroyed my self esteem. When i went to college that fall i started b/p 3 times a day. I had experimented with b/p in high school so i was already familiar with it. I did this for a year and got to the 120s but i couldnt seem to lose any more. So i have decided to start heavily restricting. Today i was 118.


My goal weight was 140 when i started (my lowest in high school) and when i hit 140 i dropped my GW to 120. Ive been there for a while but i just want more. My UGW is 100 and it would be amazing to see double digits but idk if ill survive that.

A part of me knows that most people dont think this is attractive but i dont care. Losing weight makes me feel so much better. This is the only source of happiness that means anything to me and i dont ever want to look like i did.

[Rant/Rave] "You look even paler, and thinner, I can tell you've lost even more weight"
/u/CoolCatLovesAllKids [164cm | 15 | lmfao | Female]
Created: Sat Aug 19 12:03:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uqjo4/you_look_even_paler_and_thinner_i_can_tell_youve/
Fuck yes I have! Jesus, that comment made me feel so fucking good. I'm beaming.

(Just to avoid confusion, I live in a boarding home which closes during school holidays, I stay at my grandma's when it's closed).

I'm back at my boarding home and my boarding Dad knows I have an ED, he checks up on me regularly.

He was helping me lower the seat of my bike when I said my sister, I visited her earlier today, commented that I look even paler than usual. He replied with "Yeah, you look even paler, and thinner, I can tell you've lost even more weight". (At this point I'm already ecstatic). The conversation goes somewhat like this:

Boarding Dad: How much more weight have you lost during the holiday?

Me: 3kg

BD: How much do you weigh now?

Me: I don't want to tell you my weight

BD gets angry, 'cause he's concerned

BD: If you keep going like this you're gonna end up in hospital by December

That made me so happy. I've been feeling so shitty lately, that just made my entire week.

Just got medication for my ADD..
Created: Sat Aug 19 11:48:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uqgoz/just_got_medication_for_my_add/

[Rant/Rave] Down the rabbit hole...here we go again!
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | no clue | went to treatment | send help]
Created: Sat Aug 19 11:34:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uqdkm/down_the_rabbit_holehere_we_go_again/
**Backstory:** I've been living in Germany since June as a working student for a dressage trainer.

Since I've been here, I've been losing a bit of weight because my job is extremely active! I work 6 days a week, for the most part, and take anywhere between 18k and 25k steps per day. In addition to that, I'm riding and lifting heavy saddles like 10 times a day. The weight I had been losing was unintentional. But now, I'm finding myself relapsing again kind of.

So far this week, I've barely been eating. I'll eat like, a bowl of muesli with soy milk in the morning, a piece of fruit in the afternoon, and pasta in the evening. But each day it gets less and less. Sometimes I skip the fruit. Sometimes I skip the muesli all together and just eat dinner. Yesterday, I only had muesli with a banana chopped up into it.

Today I only had to work for 3 hours and only took 5k steps so I haven't eaten at all. I've been emotionally distressed because I'm having issues with my SO back home and I'm super fucking lonely here in Germany. I have NO friends. My boss is out of town for the next week, so unless I go into Cologne (the closest major city, I currently live in a tiny village ~20 minutes away from Cologne) I have days where I literally do not open my mouth at all unless it's to talk to my mom on the phone or my SO on the phone (which has been happening less and less lately, since, as I said, we've having issues).

Anyways, the only solace I have here is my job and my eating disorder. Riding the horses is a good outlet for me but the past few weeks I've barely ridden at all. 2 of my bosses 3 horses are out of commission and the one horse I can ride is really young and doesn't have his balance so the riding I do on him is very limited. I was really depressed this morning after I finished work so I took 2mg of Xanax around 11am and didn't wake up until after 5pm. I'm not going to eat the rest of the day (it's 7:30pm right now). I'm gonna pop another 2mg of Xanax at around 9pm and hopefully pass the fuck out at 10pm. This is the first time I've fasted in ages and I'm not even hungry. I mean, I can feel my blood sugar getting really low, but idgaf since I'm gonna be fast asleep in less than 3 hours.

I have tomorrow completely off so I'm going to treat it as a "refeed day". There's this awesome kebab place in Cologne where I get chicken with rice. Then later I *might* go to a bakery to get a few things to take back to my house so I can eat those the rest of the day. It's not really a binge, I just need the carbs for Monday since that's the ONE day my boss will be here all of next week, and knowing she'll only be back for that one day, I know that one day is going to be CRAZY hectic and I need the carbs from the day before to get through Monday. I have no idea if that last sentence made any sense. I'm still groggy from the Xanax.

Anyways, I hope you are doing well. I know ever since I got out of treatment last summer I've hardly been active on this sub, but trust me, you'll be hearing from me a lot more in the months to come.

[Discussion] (TMI?) Does this happen to anybody else?
Created: Sat Aug 19 10:40:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uq281/tmi_does_this_happen_to_anybody_else/
Admins feel free to delete this post if it's too sensitive of a topic or anything but after intensive google searching I feel completely alone in this and wanted to see if anyone else here goes through it.

I have never been a purger because I just can't seem to make myself throw up - but tonight for the first time I got something up. The only thing is, it was like I'd gag up tiiny bits of vomit(if you can even call it that - possibly bile/mucus?) at a time? I'd gag and the tiniest bit of sick would come out, but then it'd stop completely and I was left to scratch at the back of my throat for half a minute only for another little bit to come out? Rinse and repeat?

I've never heard of this happening to anyone else.. as bad as I know purging is I kind of feel like a failure and I just wanted to know whether I'm alone in this or not.

[Rant/Rave] Grocery shopping triggers pre-binge thoughts and I wanna kms
/u/MhmStephany [5'3" |-44 lbs | UGW 101]
Created: Sat Aug 19 09:32:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6upokt/grocery_shopping_triggers_prebinge_thoughts_and_i/
Not even while I'm at the grocery store either. It's when I've come home and put away all the groceries and everything is neat and tidy and organized and I just get...overwhelmed.

I've bought so much food (not really, list of haul below), what should I eat first? Everything? All of it? That sounds lovely. I DONT EVEN LET MYSELF BUY BINGE FOODS ANYMORE (chips, cookies, pasta, yknow all the shitty stuff). That's okay though, I'll binge on healthy food, my brain is totally fine with that. I really really ~~really~~ want to go a full month with no binges. A full month at 450 or under per day. I'm only like 4 days in, how is my resolve already breaking?! I wish I could lock the fridge and cabinets up with a timer and dispenser that only gives me the exact food I need at the exact time I need it and be done with it. *sigh*

# Haul:
Angel tomatoes (24 oz)
2 medium cucumbers
Italian dressing (the cheap kind ~90 cal for 2 tbsp)
Carton of egg whites
Boca veggie patties (~110 per patty, chile relleno style)
9 cans of soup (all under 250 per can)
4 Clif kids bars (chocolate chip and brownie, ~130)
Roasted kale (chile lime and bacon flavored, both 120 or under for the entire package)
Monster Zero Ultra (1 can because I can't afford a 4 pk, but there's 2 currently in the fridge so I feel safe *for now*)

Anyway, anyone else have this problem? Or wanna share their haul? Mine is small and pathetic because I'm super duper poor but I'm praying I can make it last for a month.

Saw an ex with a skinny date last night
Created: Sat Aug 19 09:18:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uplx3/saw_an_ex_with_a_skinny_date_last_night/

[Humor] Lol normal people have no idea what it's actually like not to eat, do they? (found in old reddit thread)
/u/lilmissdisappearing [5'3" | 102 | 18.57 | *not enough* | F]
Created: Sat Aug 19 09:03:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6upiub/lol_normal_people_have_no_idea_what_its_actually/

[Help] Would I be considered 'sedentary' or 'lightly active'?
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 118 | GW: 110 | M/15]
Created: Sat Aug 19 08:47:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6upfnm/would_i_be_considered_sedentary_or_lightly_active/

[Discussion] What particular food are you craving, right now?
/u/awayawaydown [6'0" | 135 | 17.6 | 125 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 19 07:23:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6up10d/what_particular_food_are_you_craving_right_now/
I have been fantasizing, practically hallucinating for two days about a donut from the fancy boutique donut store a few blocks away.

I don't really even have a very strong sweet tooth...I'm dreaming of the pillowy warm texture.

I don't think I would feel happy or satisfied if I went and ate one, though. Maybe I'll save it for a special occasion.

Life has never felt to sad and desperate
/u/cuzzlingpunt [5'5 | CW139 | 22.8 | GW128 | UGW121]
Created: Sat Aug 19 06:24:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uoryc/life_has_never_felt_to_sad_and_desperate/

[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! August 19, 2017
Created: Sat Aug 19 06:11:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uopy9/stupid_questions_saturday_august_19_2017/
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for August 19, 2017.

Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**


Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 19, 2017
Created: Sat Aug 19 06:10:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uopu1/daily_food_diary_august_19_2017/
This is a daily food diary thread for August 19, 2017.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)

[Rant/Rave] i ate a reasonable amount of food and im stopping
Created: Sat Aug 19 00:17:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6unjdt/i_ate_a_reasonable_amount_of_food_and_im_stopping/
i kinda feel full tbh isnt that kinda fucked

didnt eat anything today until a bit before midnight, ordered 60 bucks of delivery

i ate some chicken satay and some pad thai and i guess im throwing the rest away. i dont know what to do! i legit feel so weird right now

was definitely more than im trying to eat but im not gonna purge

just gonna sleep

maybe tomorrow i will eat like a fucking normal person

sorry idk i just dont have anyone irl i can talk to about this stuff !

[Rant/Rave] RANT: Quit purging before it purges your bank
/u/OortLimit [5'0|CW:90|BMI:17.58|GW:82|22F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 23:37:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6unduh/rant_quit_purging_before_it_purges_your_bank/
Earlier this year I decided to end my year long relationship to purging (*I threw up 3x day, everyday for at least a year*). Stopped b/c I wanted a "healthier" way to manage my ED - how ironic is that?

I wish I ended it earlier. Went to the dentist the other day and discovered "severe decalcification"of several of my teeth. I'm in my twenties and have a mouthful of putrid, rotten teeth.

I had to book back to back emergency appointments to deal with this. I know this was directly caused by purging as I haven't had a single tooth issue for 10 years... Now I have half dozen rotting teeth to deal with and trying to pay for two several thousand dollar surgeries.

* **End purging before it purges all your teeth & every cent from your bank account**

Anorexia/Bulimia life sucks.

[Discussion] Everyone's favorite diet drinks? Recently discovered Pepsi Max Vanilla and love it
/u/avakadava [5'6.5" | 134 | 21.3 | -20]
Created: Fri Aug 18 22:47:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6un6k9/everyones_favorite_diet_drinks_recently/

[Humor] The only thing I notice getting smaller
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 196 lb | GW: 120 lb | 22F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 22:21:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6un2ll/the_only_thing_i_notice_getting_smaller/
is my tits

Fuck my life

I ate 900 calories of pizza today and I wanna die
Created: Fri Aug 18 21:38:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6umvqr/i_ate_900_calories_of_pizza_today_and_i_wanna_die/

[Rant/Rave] Juicy Fruit Starburst Strawberry πŸ“ gum! My new πŸ’œ
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Fri Aug 18 21:11:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6umra1/juicy_fruit_starburst_strawberry_gum_my_new/
Stopped me from bingeing/ buying bags of sour patch kids! Switched at checkout! Sour patch kids are my ultimate go to but this gum! Wayyyy better than the sour patch one because that made my cravings worse!Take that binge!

[Rant/Rave] guess who's back
/u/defenestrationdisco [5'8 | CW 55kg | GW 50kg | BMI 18.48 | 18F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 20:57:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6umozc/guess_whos_back/
I "recovered" and left this subreddit and now I'm the fattest I've ever been so here I am. Hello again.

Juicy Fruit Strawberry πŸ“ Starburst Gum...that is all! Kills fruit candy cravings like woah!!!
Created: Fri Aug 18 20:53:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6umo71/juicy_fruit_strawberry_starburst_gumthat_is_all/

[Humor] Happy or sad?
Created: Fri Aug 18 20:20:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6umi9y/happy_or_sad/

[Rant/Rave] I defeated the icecream cake
/u/TheManyArchetypes [5'7.25"|134lbs|20.83|-74|F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 20:18:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6umi2z/i_defeated_the_icecream_cake/
I work at a place that does art parties for kids. The family offered me some icecream cake from DQ and I declined. They said they didn't want to take it home, and they left it there. I told them I would take care of clean up.

And I fucking struggled with that cake after they left. I was going to take it because 1. Food waste 2. Maybe my husband will eat it (he is out of town until sunday night)

These were both excuses, and I knew I would just end up eating half a cake. So I walked that bitch out back to the dumpster and tossed it out.

I bought halo top on the way home and a cute little 1cup painted ceramic dish to eat my halo top out of.

I win. Fuck you icecream cake.

I just needed to share that, thanks!

[Rant/Rave] i'm back bitchez
/u/kennedyy8 [5'9 | 130 | 18.85 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 20:02:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6umf51/im_back_bitchez/
well here i am- i was kennedyconnolly if any of you remember me. this might seem off topic or something but if any of you care you can read about what i've been up to and how i am.

well i am healthier than ever, i am running faster than ever, and getting recruited to run at a few ivy leagues. my weight is not where it was a year ago. a year ago i was around 125. i could not run very well. i gained about 5-8lbs depending on the time of month and day and here i am. i've been working really hard to maintain and focus on eating on a normal schedule. i used to just eat breakfast, dinner and after dinner snack. now i eat breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner, snack. they are smaller than what they were but all spread out and good foods- healthy and strong. honestly i'm really happy.

there was a point last year when i wasn't even concerned with my weight, i just wanted to die. so that's when i disappeared from this sub and moved on to the self harm subreddits. i can say with full confidence that my self harming days are over. but i can't say the same about anorexia.

i just watched to the bone. why the fuck would i ever watch that, i don't know it was a terrible idea. lily collins is so fucking beautiful, she looked perfect... i understand that i am at my ideal racing weight. my body fat percentage is 14.96 according to the US Navy formula (pretty accurate, right?) so it's not like i can afford to lose any muscle.

but now i am getting worried that when i leave for college and have no accountability, i will spiral out of control. at that point, the coach can't kick me off the team. so if i become a skeleton it doesn't affect my chances of being on the team... but i am torn between running and being thin.

i want to be out of college, with no parents to watch over me, and get back to my good old sub 17 BMI. oh well.

sorry for this super long rant. i don't know if anyone has made it this far, lol. if anyone wants to talk feel free to message me :)

i missed this community, you guys are all amazing and beautiful.

[Rant/Rave] Is that you thigh gap?
/u/gettingagrip4 [5'3" | Baby Hippo | 22 | -60 | 31F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 19:51:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6umd7y/is_that_you_thigh_gap/
I have a thigh gap, it's not huge but it's there and it took a coworker pointing it out for me to notice it

And I'm not fucking this up by giving myself a "reward". I'm heavy restricting for the weekend so I don't have to spend all next week making up for anything.

[Other] do people still use peach ?
Created: Fri Aug 18 19:49:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6umcwe/do_people_still_use_peach/

Halo Top Smores?
/u/hopelessly--hopeful [5'4" | puts whales to shame| F| 23]
Created: Fri Aug 18 19:17:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6um7fn/halo_top_smores/
I bought some halo top today, and I really wanted the sherbert flavor, but the store didn't have it. I grabbed smores and thought it would be a pretty good choice, but it tastes funny. Idk if it's supposed to be vanilla or marshmallow flavor, but highkey I get the taste of coconut that overpowers everything else. Now I'm sad and trying to prevent myself from going to the store again to binge on regular sherbert. 😭 god I hate coconut.

[Rant/Rave] Vyvanse (lol)
Created: Fri Aug 18 19:13:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6um6v4/vyvanse_lol/

My sister who has battled anorexia and now overcome it started a blog about 6 months ago talking about her experiences and what she's learned. Feel free to take a read, the link is to her story so you have some back ground.
Created: Fri Aug 18 18:51:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6um2ve/my_sister_who_has_battled_anorexia_and_now/

[Rant/Rave] WELL shit now I'm paranoid
Created: Fri Aug 18 18:44:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6um1l1/well_shit_now_im_paranoid/

[Humor] 6 months pregnant...
Created: Fri Aug 18 17:24:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ulmbu/6_months_pregnant/

[Tip] Tell me your "favourite" cringey pro-ED/MPA/Tumblr quote or "tip"!!!
Created: Fri Aug 18 17:09:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uljf3/tell_me_your_favourite_cringey_proedmpatumblr/
Let's revisit our past demons.

[Discussion] How did you decide you were ready for recovery?
/u/sp_600 [5'7 | 110 | bmi 17.2 | 20yr female]
Created: Fri Aug 18 16:38:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ulcvs/how_did_you_decide_you_were_ready_for_recovery/
Today i did it. I hit below 110 lbs. yet i am crying.

Its not fun. I am currently lying at home while all my friends are at a party. Why? I am too damn tired to walk there because of my Restriction. I am crying because i just I want to live. I want to let go of my obsession with food. I want to feel human. But i dont know if I am ready.

[Other] My pup is the best medicine
/u/northdakotanowhere [5'7 | CW:125 | BMI:19.5 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 16:28:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ulb1c/my_pup_is_the_best_medicine/
I've had GI issues for years and years. I get gas stuck in my stomach and it sucks and makes me want to scream sometimes. Recently it's been happening daily. When I restrict all day and then eat at night I'm screwed. The only solution I have is pressure.

That's where Moo comes in. He will lay on my stomach and cuddle. He's like a weighted blanket and a heating pad. And a therapist too. This dog is my heart. And my Tums/Gas-X hahaha!

Does anyone else have a pet that helps them? Pets are the absolute best.


[Rant/Rave] can't eat without feeling guilt
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18 | 22F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 15:46:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ul20z/cant_eat_without_feeling_guilt/
i've (obviously lol) had issues with food for a while, but lately i can't eat anything without feeling guilty. with the exception of vegetables, some fruit, and things that i know are <30 calories (mostly under 10-15 calories tbh), i feel really guilty and gross when i eat. i feel like i gain weight immediately after eating literally anything, so i know it's at least partially in my head. i hate that i can't eat anything without feeling guilty idk it feels really unsustainable and shitty

/u/diedawhileago [5'5 1/2 | 112.8 | 18.5 | -117.2 lbs! | 17f]
Created: Fri Aug 18 15:18:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ukvzg/im_so_gross_wtf/
I just really need to get this off my chest, on mobile so please flair as rant/rave

OKAY SO I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO WEIGH IN TODAY BC I'M HAVING A "SUPER FUN" WEEKEND TRIP AND IT'S DRIVING ME INSANE. Right before we left I came in at 112.8 which is just barely underweight for my height (going by the standard bmi formula because the new one makes me cry lol) and just.... how am I still so disgusting?!!!!???? Idk how it's even possible for me to look this awful, I've just been hiding out in our hotel room for the past 3 hours crying and doing squats.

I'm so embarrassed that I went out in public looking like this (AND I ACTUALLY THOUGHT I LOOKED KINDA GOOD WTF), I just want to scrape all the fat off.

I've been restricting to under 290 cal every day for the past month and a half, and I've wanted to try eating a bit more bc I feel terrible. LOL NOPE, NOT HAPPENING. Screw everything. My intake for today is 100 cal exactly, I don't think I'll be able to eat anymore. I'm so ashamed of this body.

[Rant/Rave] 88 lbs and I still look like a whale
Created: Fri Aug 18 14:35:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ukm2e/88_lbs_and_i_still_look_like_a_whale/
As of today I'm 88 lbs and 5'3", making my BMI 15.6

Today somebody told me I look like I'm 100 lbs. I know 100 is still underweight for me but I feel like there should be a large difference in appearance between 15.6 BMI and 17.7

It makes me feel like all my work at restricting is for nothing if it doesn't even show. Ugh.

[Humor] If you only knew...
/u/Proednc [177cm | CW 135 | BMI 19.10 | GW 120 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 14:35:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ukm1y/if_you_only_knew/
Friend: "Your metabolism is amazing, no wonder you're so skinny!"
Me: "Haha yup" *panicked face*

...it has nothing to do with the fact that I've eaten less than 100 calories today... :/

[Rant/Rave] The past six months I have been completely out of control, binging 8,000 calories at least once a week. Today I Googled how do I stop self-harming.
/u/canikeepit [5'4" | 147 | BMI25 | -73 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 14:33:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ukloo/the_past_six_months_i_have_been_completely_out_of/
"Step 3. Throw away any tools used to self-mutilate. ..."

I know everyone here knows this, but herein lies the problem. If there is food in the house (and I have a family, so there must be) I will use it to self-harm. I can lessen the "weight" effect by binging on carrots, but mentally it's not dissimilar from cheesecake. An actual binge when I am fully out of control is the same no matter the food.

I know I can be better. I've been better for long periods of time. In fact this is the worst it's ever been, which means there is every reason to look forward to the future, logically. I'm having a hard time feeling logical right now though. Just wanted to vent. Needed a safe space. Thanks you guys.

Cooking at home- flank steak
Created: Fri Aug 18 14:13:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ukh3x/cooking_at_home_flank_steak/

[Other] I met an old friend, and I'm not sure if she encouraged me to get better or triggered me to get worse
/u/Mi__ra [165cm |50 kg | 18,4 | 8 kg | F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 14:06:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ukfhf/i_met_an_old_friend_and_im_not_sure_if_she/
After a couple glasses of wine, she said that I'm still too skinny. Not like scary-skinny like I used to be, but way too thin anyway. And if I just weighed more and hid my self-harm scars, people would treat me like anyone else. One of our mutual friends is scared to meet me because I am so... ED'd, at least that's what she said.

Honestly, I'm glad. I'm almost normal weight, and people think I should gain weight. But I'm also sad and worried if my issues really hinder my chances to rekindle old friendships. In short, this is just one instance where I have to choose whether I want to be underweight or have a normal social life.

[Other] I have to be more careful with xanax
Created: Fri Aug 18 13:53:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ukciu/i_have_to_be_more_careful_with_xanax/

[Rant/Rave] Back to this...
/u/life-as-a-loon [5'3"|CW 112.5|20.5|F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 13:16:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uk3vc/back_to_this/
Well...this post is kinda pointless, I guess. I've spent the past few weeks actively avoiding my online ED haunts. I've been forcing myself to eat like a normal human. Annnnnd I gained 6 lbs. FML. My guilt keeps making me eat more and hate myself more and take more laxatives.

Today I was eating lunch at my desk at work and my supervisor walked in and I suddenly realized I had been chewing and spitting the second half of my sandwich and chips absentmindedly. I hadn't even made the conscious decision to C/S it. I literally did not realize I was doing it until she walked in and I saw the pile of bread and crust I picked off my sandwich underneath plops of c/s'ed chips and lunch meat. I had to quickly hide my shame with a napkin. WTF...I'm not even usually a regular c/s'er. I mean...yeah sometimes but that's not my usual MO.

I don't know what my point is here. I'm sick of being uncomfortable. I've been logging my calories the past few days. I've been subbing meals with Quest bars. Today I unconsciously c/s'ed half my lunch. I panic whenever the idea of restricting pops into my head because I'm really trying to not....and then I end of eating something to "prove" to myself that I'm fine and healthy and normal....but FUCK IT I'm sick of fighting these thoughts. I'm sick of gaining weight. I'm sick of the GUILT.

Mostly this has stemmed from my boyfriend almost breaking up with me do to cocaine use...which was 75% from me not wanting to eat. So I decided to not be sneaky and just eat normal and not do coke. Be the "normal" girlfriend he's always wanted. Yeah right. I'm def not gonna do coke anymore because it was really ruining my life. But I can't keep up this charade of eating like a normal human. I'M SICK OF FEELING GUILTY FOR EATING. So yeah. Thanks for listening to me ramble about pointless things.

[Humor] Yesterday was a major binge day; this is how I ended it
Created: Fri Aug 18 13:12:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uk2xl/yesterday_was_a_major_binge_day_this_is_how_i/

[Rant/Rave] Roommate bought a scaleπŸ™ƒ
Created: Fri Aug 18 12:50:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ujxd9/roommate_bought_a_scale/
Have always avoided weighing myself because I hate seeing the numbers but my roommate had to go and buy a scale to put on our bathroom. Of COURSE I immediately get on and weigh exactly as much as I thought I did but part of me really wanted it be lower. Ughhhh I know I'm gonna have to weigh myself every time I go in there now whyyyyy

[Other] Side effect: Anorexia
/u/High_as_red [5'4 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 12:26:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ujrmy/side_effect_anorexia/
\*have bacterial infection from cold\*

\*Gets medicine\*

\*Checks side effects\*

\*side effects: "Anorexia"\*

\*Takes more\*

[Humor] When you don't wear a coat even though it's cold af outside so that you shiver and burn calories
/u/CoolCatLovesAllKids [164cm | 15 | lmfao | Female]
Created: Fri Aug 18 12:25:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ujra7/when_you_dont_wear_a_coat_even_though_its_cold_af/
Just ED things πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ’–πŸ’•

[Rant/Rave] I'm having a nervous breakdown lmfao
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 12:20:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ujq43/im_having_a_nervous_breakdown_lmfao/
I can't decide whether to laugh or cry so I've just been sat in one place for like 9 hours. I haven't slept in 2 days. I impulsively spent close to $500 on a credit card that I already can't pay off. I gained 1.6 pounds overnight, I'm drowning in school and work, and I want to die. Literally took antidepressants just in the hope that I'd feel something different from how I feel right now.

Why do I even try so hard to lose weight? It won't fix who I am.

I reached another lowest weight!
Created: Fri Aug 18 12:15:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ujouh/i_reached_another_lowest_weight/

[Other] Can you bloat in places other than your stomach?
/u/allkindsofnewyou [5'2 | 95 | BMI 17 | F ]
Created: Fri Aug 18 11:49:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ujihg/can_you_bloat_in_places_other_than_your_stomach/
I'm ovulating and my legs seem a bit swollen. I couldn't have gained at my eating level, so I'm just wondering if anyone else has experience this.

[Discussion] anyone else find organizing/throwing away food calming?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18 | 22F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 11:28:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ujd06/anyone_else_find_organizingthrowing_away_food/
when i'm stressed or anxious, especially about weight or food stuff, i find that going through my cupboard and side of the fridge/freezer is really calming and grounding. throwing away food that's almost expired which i know i'm not gonna eat is so satisfying, especially when it's high-calorie. and there's something so satisfying about seeing how empty my part of the refrigerator and cupboard is compared to my roommate's. just getting rid of food feels therapeutic which doesn't really make sense since i don't have money and also have a lot of stress related to spending money on food but still....cleaning out those cupboards feels literally so satisfying. damn. nice.

[Discussion] At what point in your life were you the healthiest? At what point did you feel the best about yourself?
/u/antelsa [5'11" | F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 11:13:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uj91o/at_what_point_in_your_life_were_you_the/
For me, they were at the same time, when I was in my second year of high school. I played sports year round and have a very distinct memory of thinking to myself, "this is the best shape I've been in my whole life". I ate a ton but never thought too much about food. I miss it 😰

[Discussion] I can't stop taking my eating disorder as a joke because idk how to deal with mental health issues 😎😎😎
/u/CoolCatLovesAllKids [164cm | 15 | lmfao | Female]
Created: Fri Aug 18 11:02:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uj607/i_cant_stop_taking_my_eating_disorder_as_a_joke/
Does anybody else constantly make jokes about their ED to friends and expect them to laugh but they just look at you and frown

Because same

[Rant/Rave] I always wonder what it simply ~feels~ like to be lighter and it keeps me going.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW 145.0 | UGW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 10:23:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uixvj/i_always_wonder_what_it_simply_feels_like_to_be/
I know runners often say they run better when they've lost the extra weight. That makes sense. I was a swimming and canoe-er, so my weight never was directly felt.

But I was at a ninja course with my brother a few days ago. We climbed rock walls, did laser courses, ran through obstacle courses. I'm lucky enough to still have residual strength from sports and pulling my weight around isn't an issue. But I can feel my mass and it drove me insane.

My brother, on the other hand, is 90 pounds and insanely active and strong. He pulled his weight around like it was nothing. There were a few gymnastics girls there too and they just flew through the air.

I hate feeling big and weak. I feel like an oaf. I want to be petite and strong. I want someone to pick me up without me backing away.

I feel like such a sack of potatoes today.

[Humor] Life is like a box of sugarfree chocolate: sometimes it'll make you shit your pants.
Created: Fri Aug 18 10:00:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uis6y/life_is_like_a_box_of_sugarfree_chocolate/
Walmart had 1lb boxes of assorted sugarfree chocolates on clearance for $2. I need some condolence cards for my panties, my toilet, and my colon.

[Help] family vacation: the nightmare of food
Created: Fri Aug 18 10:00:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uirzj/family_vacation_the_nightmare_of_food/

[Rant/Rave] I want to drive home to weigh myself
/u/PrincessSpice [177 | 123.6 | 17.4 |]
Created: Fri Aug 18 09:52:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uiq7z/i_want_to_drive_home_to_weigh_myself/
I had a bad binge week for a few days and have been easing myself back to my regular eating habits. I weighed in this morning at 123.5 which is just where I was at this time last week. And that was before I used the bathroom, which I have now done twice while at work.

All I've had today was one cup of coffee and I'm seriously considering driving home (60 minutes round trip) to weigh myself. There is a gym nearby but what if the scales are different? I never get to weigh myself after using the bathroom as I never go before heading to work and it seems like I could maybe be hitting my low weight from January. Ugh. Ive seriously been thinking about keeping a scale at work because of how often I want to do this.

Like this is insane, I shouldn't leave work to weigh myself but thats all I can think about.

[Tip] Best low cal cookbook 😍
/u/posyposer [5'4 | 135 | 23.2 | -38 | f]
Created: Fri Aug 18 09:29:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uikie/best_low_cal_cookbook/
So I was at the grocery store the other day (and exercised serious self control... no binge foods!) and I found a diet recipe magazine for intermittent fasting called the 5:2 starters guide. It's all kinds of low cal recipes for 500 calorie fasting days!! I thought you guys would appreciate it. Also just sharing this here because I don't want to double post but I get to update my flair today because I lost three lbs πŸ™ƒ I wanted to wait a few days to make sure it was for real but it is and I'm so excited!

[Help] What is the most accurate tdee calculator in your experience?
/u/allkindsofnewyou [5'2 | 95 | BMI 17 | F ]
Created: Fri Aug 18 09:10:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uig5b/what_is_the_most_accurate_tdee_calculator_in_your/
I have no access to a desktop or PC so I can't use the spreadsheet one. My estimated tdee is 1360-1390 depending on if I use sedentary or slightly active.

I have a 25 lb baby that I carry in my arms several times a day and pick up to move when they are getting into stuff.

I'm on my feet or chasing the baby for a little bit a day, otherwise we play on the floor. Would yall consider this closer to sedentary or lightly active?

[Intro] Hello everyone!
/u/transmaybeidk [5'7" | CW220 | GW120 | SW240 | M]
Created: Fri Aug 18 08:56:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uicpq/hello_everyone/
So, I don't know if I belong here, but I used to have my dream body....like 8 years ago. I've honestly been binging since then, and in the last few months it's gotten really bad. I mean, going out for second lunch and having 2,000 calories just for the second lunch. I just hate myself and what I was doing to myself. I stumbled upon this subreddit by clicking the 'Random' button trying to find new subreddits. And honestly, I've probably spent five hours on this subreddit the last two days (and viewed every single post on /r/proEDmemes). You all are the most friendly and helpful people I've ever seen on reddit! I don't know why I'm rambling, but I just wanted to say hi, and if I don't belong here, just let me know and I'll remove this post and go back to lurking!

[Intro] Too old for this
/u/strawberry-champagne [5'5" | CW: 146 | GW: 105 | -13 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 08:13:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ui32l/too_old_for_this/
Hi, I made a new anonymous account to post on here. I struggled with anorexia a few times in my life, but it always came in waves, usually triggered by something bad happening in my life. First was after I was raped... Second was when I was in an abusive relationship... etc. And now it's happening again. But I'm at a point in my life where I should be happy. I'm getting married, I have a lot going for me. The only thing that really set me off was realizing how much weight I gained after a failed pregnancy. I gained 20 lbs in a short period of time that sent me to an "overweight" bmi. And now I'm like addicted to eating less than 600 calories a day and watching the scale drop 1-2 lbs a day. I'm worried I'm going to keep having these thoughts of needing to restrict and restrict and waste away to nothing and fuck up everything I have going for me right now. I feel so self destructive. I'm not even sure if this makes sense since my brain feels very cloudy. Sorry.

[Help] [rant/help] so I have the stupidest thing I need help with
/u/lovelylayout [5'6" | 152.8 lbs | -27.2lb | 26F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 07:24:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uhsan/ranthelp_so_i_have_the_stupidest_thing_i_need/
Asking here because I know y'all won't judge me for being the way I am or tell me I'm overreacting or being crazy (even though I def feel crazy).

Sunday, my SO and I will be going to a Whole Foods salad bar for lunch. I've only been to WF once, and the salad bar looked full of possibilities, but intimidating. I need to be able to plan what I'm going to get before I go.

I've tried googling all kinds of things about it but the only results I can get are "how to spend less at the WF salad bar." (Lighter salad = less money. There, I wrote all your shitty articles for you.)

I can't even find any videos on Youtube that aren't twenty minutes of someone picking up leaves of kale one at a time while rambling off a bunch of nebulous pseudonutrition factoids.

**Could someone, like...walk me through what to expect at the Whole Foods salad bar?** Like, what do they always have? I know some things offered will be different from store to store, but I can't even find a list of the "basic" stuff that they always have. Where do I pay? When we were there last time, that section of the store (bakery/salad bar/deli maybe?) had like four cash registers and none of them seemed like they were "for" salad.

It's just *so* overwhelming and last time I almost started crying because it was so busy and there were so many people *everywhere* and it felt like every single one of them was looking at me because I clearly don't belong in Whole Foods because I look poor and lost and stupid. I just want to be able to walk in, go straight where I need to go, get what I need to get, and leave so I can limit that "everyone's judging me" feeling.

When I finally move away from my hometown I'm going to have a fucking breakdown trying to figure out a new grocery store. I feel silly.

[Discussion] August 18th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [27F | 5'5 | 125 lb | 21.05 | GW 110 | UGW 105 ]
Created: Fri Aug 18 07:23:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uhs37/august_18th_2017_question_of_the_day/
What is your favorite piece of clothing?

[Help] Reliable calories burned calculator?
Created: Fri Aug 18 07:12:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uhpse/reliable_calories_burned_calculator/
Sorry I just posted yesterday, but I want to start slowly beginning to exercise by brisk walking 30-60 minutes a day. Anyone here have a reliable calculator that I can use to determine how much I'm burning? Preferably that takes into account weight and height. Every website gives me widely different numbers for 1 hour of 3.5mph walking (430, 260, 170, ect.) I don't know what to believe.

[Other] So I've found a new obsession to stop myself from binging lol
/u/sibr [5'4 | 162 | -15 | Female]
Created: Fri Aug 18 07:03:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uhnye/so_ive_found_a_new_obsession_to_stop_myself_from/
Every time I feel like pigging out (which is often these days, all thanks to PMS and eating "normally" for a few weeks) I take a pic of myself in underwear/workout gear and then edit it on the Facetune app to make myself look skinny. It takes me enough time to edit to perfection that the cravings are usually gone by the time I'm done, plus seeing myself actually skinny reminds me why I shouldn't be eating in the first place.

In other news I went on holiday for 3 weeks and despite feeling like I was eating crazy amounts, I only put on 3lbs and since Sunday I've dropped back down to my lowest weight since before the holiday. I'm hoping this means I actually lost weight on holiday since I feel like I'm losing a lot of water/bloat weight this week.

[Rant/Rave] This guy...
Created: Fri Aug 18 06:55:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uhmcf/this_guy/
This morning at the gym, I was doing some cable kickbacks, and just as I finished up one of my sets, this old fat guy came up to me. He spent ten minutes talking to me about what I should be doing to lose weight (basic stuff like calculating my bmr). He finished off by telling me that my metabolism was about to go to shit because I am turning 25 soon.

God. Fucking. Dammit.

I'm trying so fucking hard to recover. My dietician told me to get myself away from the mindset that I should be losing weight. Now, this happens.

I guess I am fat.

Time to not eat for a week.


[Me, as reference, NSFW because why not add some context ](https://imgur.com/a/p1udb).

[Goal] Finally below 124!
/u/ibizadaydreams [5'1 | CW126 | 23.8 | GW95| F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 06:40:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uhjg4/finally_below_124/
I'm usually very disappointed when I step on the scale every morning and night. I focus on that number all day and when trying to go to sleep. It never seems to change.

I kept telling myself that if I really really tried for one day, the next morning I would notice a difference. So yesterday I really tried. My tattoo artist had a opening so I stayed in bed for most of the day. Had a small smoothie before going in at 12. I sat there getting new work done for about 6 hours. By the time I got home I was so exhausted. I had some peach juice and half a toasted bagel. I only started to notice how hungry I was when I was in bed trying to sleep.

This morning when I weighed myself I was finally at 123. So hopefully...if I can keep being proud of myself, today will be just as good.

[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! August 18, 2017
Created: Fri Aug 18 06:13:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uhes5/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread_august/
This is the weekly picture thread for August 18, 2017.

Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*

3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.

4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**


Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 18, 2017
Created: Fri Aug 18 06:13:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uher8/daily_food_diary_august_18_2017/
This is a daily food diary thread for August 18, 2017.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)

[Discussion] DAE struggle with self-sabotage towards exercise?
/u/macklemorgue [5'3 | 110.2 | 19.3 | -13.2 | 18F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 05:36:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uh8o2/dae_struggle_with_selfsabotage_towards_exercise/
ok so I've been exercising moderately everyday these past few months and although it has been hard to get up at 6:50 every morning, I always found a way to push past that and get out the door to complete my morning run. Running also sets up my day for success, like if I'm not a lazy piece of shit then maybe I won't binge idk. Today, however, I just couldn't get out of bed bc I'm tired and leaving for college on Sunday so I'm sad and ik those are excuses. Furthermore, **I KNOW** that I'll beat myself up over it for the rest of the day and feel guilty, but I'm staying home anyways. When it comes to losing this weight I've only ever sabotaged myself with binges, so this is new and it'd be gr8 to know how some of y'all deal with this, thanks my guys.

[Thinspo] Close-up Thinspiration 8.18
/u/TeenyBeanieWeenie [5'6 (66 in)| 127 lbs| 20 BMI | - 3 (This week) | F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 04:32:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ugz70/closeup_thinspiration_818/

[Rant/Rave] I feel like I'm lying all the time
Created: Fri Aug 18 02:12:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uggrb/i_feel_like_im_lying_all_the_time/
I'm so ashamed of my eating disorder. I'm ashamed of being pitifully insecure about my body, my personality, my intelligence; ashamed of being so *fixated* on this useless, unattainable image when I could be doing so much more valuable things with my time. I hate lying to my parents that I'm eating out with friends when, actually, I'm heading to the gym to burn off a binge. I hate telling them I've cried, because even that is more tolerable than them knowing my puffy eyes are from purging. I hate flaking on meet-ups and trips because of my food anxieties, I hate it when my people say "I want your body", I hate it when I'm alone on the floor of my bathroom staring into a toilet full of vomit wondering how the fuck did I get here. My friends and family think I'm a successful, got-it-all-together person when in reality, I'm too fucking great at lying. Who do I talk to about this monster inside my head? Who will believe me? I just want to be normal, normal, normal.

[Discussion] Which bmi scale do you guys use?
Created: Fri Aug 18 02:03:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ugfm8/which_bmi_scale_do_you_guys_use/
So I'm pretty tall (~5"8, possibly still growing) and my standard bmi puts me at 19 on the dot (the highest my bmi has ever been 😣), but the new one puts me at 18.8. I'm equal parts pleased and skeptical, which bmi chart do you guys tend to believe?

[Other] when u accidentally eat like 3x the amount of fiber u need in a day
Created: Fri Aug 18 01:54:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ugeh5/when_u_accidentally_eat_like_3x_the_amount_of/

[Humor] Halo Top put out a great weekly meal plan!
/u/faebun [5'6 | 125.6lb | 20.35 | -38.8 | NB]
Created: Fri Aug 18 01:35:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ugbw1/halo_top_put_out_a_great_weekly_meal_plan/

[Other] Willkommen in Deutschland
/u/janesavage [170 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 18F ]
Created: Fri Aug 18 00:20:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ug1k5/willkommen_in_deutschland/
First day in Germany. I'm staying with a host family. I scoured the washroom.
No scale.

And so much food without nutrition information. I suppose it's a good thing (it's less processed, Γ  la a bakery around the corner), but still.
You guys get it.

All I can rely on is the fact I'm in someone else's house, so it would feel too weird and faux pas-y and asshole-ish to binge. 🀞
Also everyone in this family (it feels like everyone in this town) is skinnier than me, so at least I get a reminder every single day of my crippling self-loathing and doubt! πŸ™ƒ

Here's to a better year than the last one! 🍻

Update: There is a food scale. Not all is lost!

Embarrassing and annoying bathroom purging situation
Created: Fri Aug 18 00:19:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ug1eg/embarrassing_and_annoying_bathroom_purging/

[Rant/Rave] I feel like I'm not like other people and I can't do this anymore.
/u/iwanttoblowaway [5'9 | 124 | 17.9 | 21]
Created: Thu Aug 17 23:41:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ufvvv/i_feel_like_im_not_like_other_people_and_i_cant/
I haven't posted in a while and this isn't necessarily eating related but I'm high and need to get this off my chest. This might get hella long but I'm just very unhappy right now and I really have to vent I'm sorry. This is probably gonna get way too long so don't feel like you have to read the whole thing. That might take all night.

All my life, I've felt like I wasn't like other people. I don't know why, I just see happy people living normal lives and feel like that's not me and will never be. And I feel so shitty for feeling like this because I know there are people with *real* problems and mine aren't those. My parents pay for my car and my apartment and my school and all of my shit. I'm not in debt up to my ass. I'm in nice clean clothes every day. I've never been sick or overweight. I've never spent a day without anything I actually need to live or even live comfortably honestly. But still, for whatever reason, I don't feel like I'm worth as much as other people, if that makes sense. Like today, I went to target to buy some stuff for my new apartment and it was packed and there were people my age everywhere and I just wanted to not be there so nobody would see me. I don't really have any idea if i'm even attractive or not. People have told me I am, sometimes I look in the mirror and feel like I might be, but most of the time I feel mediocre at best. So I smoke, and I drink a lot, and I take whatever pills I can get my hands on. I'm not like a drug addict or an alcoholic. I can get done what needs to get done. It's usually only at nights that I feel this bad. If I'm busy during the day I'm usually okay.

And I haven't even been sleeping lately. I either fall asleep relatively quickly and then wake up at 4 am to a nightmare and can't fall back asleep or I can't fall asleep until 4am. I'm fucking exhausted all the time I feel like I'm about to implode. My anxiety is through the roof right now and I swear it's because I'm not sleeping well.

And the other shitty thing is that I literally can't talk to anyone about this. All of my friends think I'm the most outgoing, happy person they know because at parties and bars and stuff, I can be - but only if I'm not sober. And I'm rarely sober in social situations. It's honestly even like a punchline at social events in my circle. If I'm not intoxicated, people notice. And I don't want to be that lovable shitshow either but that's what I feel like I am to my friends. *That* friend who's off radar during dinner, shows up and gets drunk within 15 minutes and get's into drunk adventures and wants to stay out until the sun comes up. I feel like that's not really me but honestly, I don't even know who I am at this point. At least most people who think they know me like me. I just don't feel like if anybody really saw me that they'd still like me because I don't feel like I really have anything to offer anyone that they couldn't get easily get +more from almost anyone else. Like I'm pretty good at my major (good enough for some people in my program to be jealous of my work) but that's literally it. I've played piano for years and I've been mediocre at it, same with guitar, I don't sing. I can't talk to people I'm not comfortable around. I've never had a real relationship because I've never let myself get to that point with anyone and I'm not delusional-its all my fault. I'm afraid if I let someone in like that they'll realize who I am and say fuck it and leave. So I just push people away or scare them off. And even if I could change that, at this point I have no idea what to do after the first few dates and like I'm 21, people just expect you to know how this shit works by this point. I'm afraid I'll die alone, and I'm afraid as soon as this little bubble called college ends I'll be fucked because I don't think I'm capable of making new friends and starting from scratch all over again. I don't even know how to make friends. I have a pretty big social circle right now but I seriously just fell into it.

And like at the lake the other day with my close friend group I made a comment about needing to drink less because i'm getting fat and everyone told me to shut up and that I needed to eat more and that I looked anorexic. But it's true in April I had abs and now after sitting in an office at an internship all summer I'm like skinny-flab. I'm soft and it doesnt look good. At least not on me. And one of them said "How do you possibly even think that? You don't even eat when we go out. You get like a salad and pick at if for a while and then say you're full when everyone else is done eating." But I don't think I'm that bad. Like I know that some people here are actually very sick and I don't want to take anything away from them. I have a low BMI and don't eat as much as other people but my hair isn't falling out and I'm not fainting. Most of the time I feel like I'm fine. I mean I know I don't have the healthiest attitude towards eating and that's why I'm here. It feels relatable. But I just don't eat because if I do, I gain weight. I can't maintain weight. I either start to lose weight and people start telling me I'm too skinny, or I eat a little more and exercise a little less so that people won't tell me that and I start to gain weight. I'm 124 right now but I'll probably either be at 120 or 130 by mid September and I don't understand why.

I want my abs back and I want people to stop telling me I should eat more and I want to feel like I fit in with the world and am worthy of everything it has to offer. Because I feel like it can be a great place - for some people. And I feel like it should be for me, I have everything most people could ever want material wise and probably friend wise and family wise too. And I want to feel like my friends actually care about me, and aren't just entertained by me. And I've been to so many different therapists but I have a really hard time opening up to anyone in person, even my favorite therapists I've had and so I have a hard time vocalizing what I'm actually struggling with, and half the time I can't even remember what Im upset about when I'm there so they think I'm fine. It's like I'm so used to acting like everything is perfect that I can't even be honest with a doctor.

I guess I'm done because my computer is about to die and my charger is in my backpack outside in my car and hands hurt and I don't want to waste any more of anybody who actually feels like reading any of thats time

[Help] How to deflect comments from other people about my eating habits?
/u/happyplantlover [5'8 | CW:126lbs | GW: 112lbs | -15 lbs | F20]
Created: Thu Aug 17 23:09:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ufqpo/how_to_deflect_comments_from_other_people_about/
I live in my sorority house and now that we are all back at school living together again, it means everyone is eating meals together and it's harder for me to hide my habits.

It also doesn't help that this summer I really spiraled negatively. I eat less frequently, I only eat safe foods which are usually raw fruits and veggies, I never eat full meals, and I drink coffee like no other. I have also lost a noticeable amount of weight while we were all away from each other at home for summer (~7-8 lbs)

So far I have received more than 10 comments about my daily eating habits and schedule, and we have only been back for a week:(

How can I keep them from suspecting I have an ED? or atleast how can I make it seem like I eat more than I do.


[Help] What excuses do you have for when people start asking questions?
/u/multicolour-squirrel [5'8 |150lbs|-15lbs|GW:132|25F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 22:58:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ufowm/what_excuses_do_you_have_for_when_people_start/
I work with a bunch of people who are weight and diet obsessed but never lose weight (some different fad each week) and I am running out of excuses for when people ask why I am not eating lunch. I have a few I use, such as going to the parents' for dinner, don't want to buy food, not hungry/feeling nauseous. It is at the point where I am thinking I just have to go sit in my car to avoid eating. What do you guys say when people start asking questions?

[Help] Maybe not the place, But I need a friend.
Created: Thu Aug 17 22:39:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uflyn/maybe_not_the_place_but_i_need_a_friend/
I don't know what to say, this isn't exactly relevant to my eating habits but I don't have any friends and I am feeling really low, you guys are the most relatable people in my life. I am a 20 year old female. I am moving towns and leaving behind the house I called home for nearly a decade to live in a cramped apartment with my family, we are not very close to begin with so I can only imagine how it will be in a closed space.
The stress is unbearable and I guess for eating habits that's good, because my mind is kept away from food. but not having anyone to talk to is getting to me and I know it will only be worse when I am alone in my room for days. I guess really, I need people I can talk to and relate to, especially people who understand and don't judge disordered eating.

[Rant/Rave] just a rant about feeling really bleak right now
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18 | 22F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 22:25:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ufjk7/just_a_rant_about_feeling_really_bleak_right_now/
*sorry this rant is about body image and probably really triggering so yeah ugh i'm sorry i just need to write it down
i'm gonna be alone almost all weekend which i haven't done all summer, and i'd planned to restrict starting a few days ago but i've already eaten probably 900 calories today. i'm so uncomfortable in my body right nowβ€”i've gained ~3 pounds since the beginning of the summer and it's increasingly noticeable to me. i can feel body fat on my stomach and sides and can actually grab it from my sides which feels soooo disgusting and triggering. i think i'm hungry but maybe i'm just bored, i'm disgusted by how much i've eaten today and how much i've failed at restricting. i'm wearing my baggiest sweatshirt and pajama pants and it's so hot and i feel like i've been having a panic attack all day. i genuinely can't tell if i'm thin or not; i look in the mirror and all i see are flaws. how am i going to lose weight when i keep eating whenever i'm hungry? being underweight felt so perfect, i have to get back to that feeling. fuck, you guys, i feel so alone right now and the idea of being alone all weekend is making me freak out even more.

[Rant/Rave] feelin really bleak right now
Created: Thu Aug 17 22:24:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ufjfe/feelin_really_bleak_right_now/

[Help] Lanuga (fine peach fuzzy hair growth) Experience?
/u/tootiredrn [5'4" | CW 160.6 | -9.4 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 22:00:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uffc6/lanuga_fine_peach_fuzzy_hair_growth_experience/

I have been high restriction, often 1200-1800 (my TDEE), most days eating at the upper end of that rather than lower, however I have been in this restriction cycle for almost a month with only one or two "big" binges of a few thousand calories. My diet is mostly pasta and meats with a multivitamin. Could that be enough for me to start growing lanugo? I just noticed light fuzz hair between my breasts that I don't think(?) I remember being there before and when I pinched some of it, it came right off in my fingers with no resistance or pain. **Should I even be pulling this out? Is there a chance it will come in darker like armpit hair or something? And has anyone gotten rid of this or just has this all the time (not related to an ED)?

This is the first actual negative manifestation I've had, and I've lost 9.4lbs in just over 3 weeks. Of course this would all be too good to be true.

[Help] About to lose my Adderall prescription because of weight loss :(
/u/Zoombinis [24 F | 5'8" (172 cm) | CW: 122 lbs (55.33 kg) | GW: Flat belly]
Created: Thu Aug 17 21:41:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ufbvt/about_to_lose_my_adderall_prescription_because_of/
I need adderall to perform well in school :( I've tried other medicines and vyvanse/adderall are the only ones that work well enough (I am on a high dose). However they're very concerned about my weight loss and next month I'm not gonna get a prescription again if it doesn't go up. What do I do?

Idk how to change flair on mobile but I'm 5'8" & started at 136 lbs, now I am 115 lbs.

[Other] Crippling anxiety and depression? $100 appointment. Celexa? $10 prescription. Debilitating nausea and vomiting from side effects?
/u/Scooter_Boots [5'4.5" | CW Magnificent Land Whale | GW 115 | 27F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 21:40:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ufbmx/crippling_anxiety_and_depression_100_appointment/

Bahahahaha I'm dead inside. But no appetite is no appetite! See ya later 10-20 lbs!

[Rant/Rave] I have a date Monday!
/u/autotrapqueen [5'7.5| CW 131.8 | 20.19 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 21:31:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ufa0u/i_have_a_date_monday/
I haven't been on a first date in years (recently gotten out of a long term relationship). I told myself I would swear off any serious relationships till after college, but I met this guy of tinder and man he is so sweet and kind and cute and funny and easy to talk to. We go to the same college and apparently even went to the same religious school! He was just a few grades ahead so we didn't meet, but he also grew up in the same neighborhood as my childhood best friend. Idk it's just a small world and I'm happy and not even super nervous about meeting him (new thing for social anxiety?!!) and he's super complimentary so I'm not AS self conscious lol.

I don't have a lot of close friends in my life right now or anyone I'd tell this kind of thing to but I'm just excited and fluttery and wanted to share. My anxiety pops up about it here and there, kinda because I still kinda definitely love my ex, kinda because even though this new guy and I are on the same terms that it should be causal I'm scared to get so close to someone again. I have to focus on myself and school and can't get distracted more than I already am with my ex πŸ˜‚

Anyway! At first we were gonna do dinner but then I was like but wait wanna meet in the morning and get coffee? And he said I was worth waking up early for :) so woohoo I'll get a tea or something and not have to worry about eating in front of him yet!!

[Discussion] Are you supposed to exhale when you measure your waist?
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 118 | GW: 110 | Male]
Created: Thu Aug 17 20:19:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uewel/are_you_supposed_to_exhale_when_you_measure_your/

[Rant/Rave] Probably the 1000th post titled "FUCK SCALES"
/u/northdakotanowhere [5'7 | CW:125 | BMI:19.5 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 20:12:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uev1f/probably_the_1000th_post_titled_fuck_scales/
But seriously. Fuck scales. In my unintentional recovery days, I just knew I should never own one. I did alright without one. Well, I got kinda fat. Maxed out at 180. I only knew that because of the doctor.

Boyfriend needed to start losing weight so we got a shitty scale. Well it was shit. I didn't trust it. So we got another scale. I am on and off that damn thing 4-5 times just to check it. Grab a 10lb weight, check it. Check it again. Do that 4-5 times a day. Then if it's a day I lost, I'll grab the shitty scale and do the same thing.

This morning I weighed right when I woke up like I always do. 122. Woo-hoo. I don't take it seriously. Even weight loss can't make me happy. Never enough! Only drank coffee and had a rice cake today. Got home, weighed myself. Little heavier. No big deal.

Go to the walk in clinic for an injury. Actually excited to get weighed. 124. Why has that little changed just destroyed me? My logical brain has gone through the whole reasoning process. But I'm stuck on that stupid number.

They put me on some strong anti-inflammatories that I was told to take 3x daily w/ food. My boyfriend starts nodding and nudging me. I flicked him off hahaha. He's an ass.

But that makes it worse. Meds absolutely make me nauseous but I might just deal with that for the next 3 days.

How did I wind up in this hole so quickly?

My life was so different 3 months ago. Different coping mechanisms, different problems, kinda shitty still... But at least I wasn't fixated on one godamn insignificant number.

[Rant/Rave] "If you don't eat this then it's going to go to waste"
Created: Thu Aug 17 20:04:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uetld/if_you_dont_eat_this_then_its_going_to_go_to_waste/
My boyfriend grabbed some food out (falafels) and ate 5/6 before he decided that he hated them.

He then told me (in an angry voice) that if I didn't eat them then they would go to waste. I ended up eating them out of guilt because we are poor and this was an expensive treat but now I feel even more guilty.

Does it still count as waste if I purged them? 😑

[Intro] I'm doing this because I'm unhappy where I'm at in life
Created: Thu Aug 17 19:45:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ueptb/im_doing_this_because_im_unhappy_where_im_at_in/
This is my first post on here so please be kind.
I started binge drinking and binge eating for the past year because I feel like I'm stuck in my life right now. I'm not going anywhere with my art, I've been in the same dead end job for two years, and I'm unhappy in my relationship and where I live. Drinking and eating was my only pleasure and comfort.

I started out at 110 lbs and blew up to 135, and now I'm at 126. I feel so lost and lonely in my life right now and restricting my eating is the only thing I have going on right now. It's my only focus, and gives me purpose.

I'm so lost and depressed. I stopped drinking beer because, ya know, calories.... but I need something to take the edge off and to feel cheerful again

This is the most honest with myself that I've been for a while.... feels weird

[Other] Thanks to this AMAZING community, I met someone from this sub at college today!!!!
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" β˜€οΈ like 155 idk β˜€οΈ πŸ‘ tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Thu Aug 17 19:32:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uendz/thanks_to_this_amazing_community_i_met_someone/

Pretty excited about this blanket I made for my daughter
Created: Thu Aug 17 19:21:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uel6v/pretty_excited_about_this_blanket_i_made_for_my/

[Discussion] Any low calorie vegetarian friendly soups you guys have enjoyed?
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Thu Aug 17 19:16:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uek6v/any_low_calorie_vegetarian_friendly_soups_you/

[Rant/Rave] Short Happy Post
Created: Thu Aug 17 18:44:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uedu0/short_happy_post/

[Rant/Rave] i want to stop disordered eating but don't want to gain weight lolllll
Created: Thu Aug 17 18:42:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uedjf/i_want_to_stop_disordered_eating_but_dont_want_to/

[Humor] β€œbut beauty is temporary!”
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 190lb | M]
Created: Thu Aug 17 18:42:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uedfv/but_beauty_is_temporary/
Exactly. That’s why I’m so desperate to get there before my time is up

[Discussion] Is anybody else kind of happy summer is almost over?
Created: Thu Aug 17 18:34:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uebxu/is_anybody_else_kind_of_happy_summer_is_almost/
So many less social events that I have to stress about what I am going to eat/drink there. Just had this thought and had nobody to share it with irl.

[Discussion] How am I supposed to measure my forearms?
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 118 | GW: 110 | Male]
Created: Thu Aug 17 17:45:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ue1he/how_am_i_supposed_to_measure_my_forearms/

[Discussion] Trader Joe's Recommendations
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 17:27:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6udxqz/trader_joes_recommendations/
I just got a Trader Joe's near my house and I know it's a favorite grocery chain of people here, so what do you buy when you go?

[Humor] Currently laying in bed, dying
/u/NaejNire [5'9 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 17:18:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6udvtt/currently_laying_in_bed_dying/
I have a killer stomach ache, body pains all over, chills, diarrhea, feel like I'll puke any second.. I probably caught a bug or ate something bad.

Even in this misery though, I'm STOKED for how much (water) weight this will make me lose. Like, it might be worth it in my sick twisted head!

[Other] Weird fuzzy tone in ears? Not sure if ED related?
/u/ri-ri [Height 5'3 | CW 105 | GW 95 | Female]
Created: Thu Aug 17 16:10:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6udgp3/weird_fuzzy_tone_in_ears_not_sure_if_ed_related/
Hey /r/PROED

I love you guys and if I dont have you already on peach, add me! @ goldpetals

Now I am not sure if this is ED related, but sometimes I get a weird fuzzy, light "buzz" in my ears - almost like there is a soft and very low volume of static. Usually happens after I move around too quickly. and sometimes accompanied with blurry vision.


[Rant/Rave] Just ordered new scrubs and they're already too big.
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 15:29:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ud73c/just_ordered_new_scrubs_and_theyre_already_too_big/
On the one hand, I'm pissed, because I just spent like $120 on nice, new non-refundable scrubs in a size I was literally just last week.

On the other hand, that means I've lost an entire scrub size in a week, so that's a nice feeling.

Now I have to figure out what to do with all these freaking scrubs, though.

[Discussion] [Discussion] Diagnostic criteria question
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 15:27:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ud6nc/discussion_diagnostic_criteria_question/
In the DSM-IV and ICD-10, part of the criteria for anorexia is "weight less than 85% of what is considered normal for that person’s age and height". I think in the DSM-V it was amended to "weight significant less that what is considered normal". My question is what does normal mean in this context? Is it 85% of a BMI 20 (the middle of a healthy range) or of the underweight cutoff? Does anyone know?

[Rant/Rave] destroying relationships because of ED competition?
/u/JackSkeletal [5'7" | Male]
Created: Thu Aug 17 15:17:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ud4b8/destroying_relationships_because_of_ed_competition/
tw: self-harm

Home sick. Can't exercise.

On the same day that I tell my buddy that I'm struggling with a binge cycle including food-hoarding, compulsively buying binge food, the whole shebang--

--she tells me she's doing a "crash diet" and "hasn't eaten today."

We've been close friends for four years--through wicked mental health struggles for both of us. She was the first one to beg me to get help when I was restricting hard.

I'm tempted to cut her off cold because anyone who's successfully fasting has to see me as subhuman shit, right?

Why the fuck am I like this?

Having suicidal thoughts again; tried to get in with the clinic, but their hours don't fit my work schedule; having compulsive thoughts about castrating myself with my shaving razors. Walked into the bathroom, dropped trou, and picked up a razor before putting it down and backing away. Feel like I deserve it for being a fucking food monster with no self-control.

Please tag rant/rave.

How long do you wait to purge???
/u/DirtyxVans [5'5 | CW 151 | GW110 | TF]
Created: Thu Aug 17 14:57:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uczav/how_long_do_you_wait_to_purge/

My wedding is in 43 days, I am so stressed and can't stop binging
Created: Thu Aug 17 14:40:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ucvd9/my_wedding_is_in_43_days_i_am_so_stressed_and/

[Rant/Rave] I'm right at the high-risk point in my week so decided to make a post about my story involving binge eating
Created: Thu Aug 17 14:01:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ucloz/im_right_at_the_highrisk_point_in_my_week_so/

[Rant/Rave] Why the fuck is everyone at my school so skinny?
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 118 | GW: 110 | Male]
Created: Thu Aug 17 13:32:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ucerz/why_the_fuck_is_everyone_at_my_school_so_skinny/
It might be because I see myself at a different angle but a lot of people's forearms and stuff seem way smaller than mine even though I'm already pretty skinny I think. This is really pissing me off and makes me feel really insecure

[Rant/Rave] I didn't binge!
Created: Thu Aug 17 13:06:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uc883/i_didnt_binge/
Hi all!

Nobody else would know how good this would feel and I really just wanted to share this even though it seems kinda small to a more "healthy" person.

Last night I had a really hard time fighting a binge. I was already over my personal calorie goal but still at a reasonable restriction of 1000 calories. Even as I was falling asleep I still kept thinking about what foods I could eat. Both my stomach and my brain were screaming at me to eat everything as I was trying to fall asleep.

Well I did it. I woke up the next morning fine and proud of myself for not giving in. This the first time in a very very long time I didn't give into these binge monster when I really really wanted to. Especially since yesterday was very stressful and frustrating.

I just really wanted to share this with people that would understand haha.

[Discussion] What are your "defining" moments?
/u/percussivesilence [5'7" | CW:180 | HW: 232 | | GW1: 175 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 11:23:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ubicv/what_are_your_defining_moments/
I'm talking like the Big Ones you tell your therapist like this event probably made me this way. For me, one of them is when I was in fourth grade and this bully drew all over my yearbook picture in my yearbooks like basically just scribble my face out in my own 45$ book. His mom was the PTA mom and she took me aside and said you better not cry about this maybe he just has a crush on you, be better at holding in your emotions. Now I can't express anything, not saying it's her fault but it contributed.

Anotha one (more ed related this time)

The older guy (17 maybe?) told 11 yo me in a gym that I was way fatter than him. That was the first time I've ever consciously made the choice "I am eating less because I don't deserve to eat more" .

I know this isn't all ed related but I love u guys the best blah blah we know πŸ€—

[Rant/Rave] Getting weighed today =))))
/u/dahee3697 [5'1.5" | CW: 120 | GW: 100 | F | 19]
Created: Thu Aug 17 10:17:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ub1yv/getting_weighed_today/
One scale at home says I'm 120 and the other says I'm 130 and I'm going to the doctor's today and I'm dreading the reality check because I feel like I'm closer to 130 but at least after this I'll have a better sense of my true weight when I use my home scales, you know?

[Rant/Rave] ughhh fucking shit this is frustrating
Created: Thu Aug 17 10:00:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uaxlg/ughhh_fucking_shit_this_is_frustrating/

[Rant/Rave] I just realized something
Created: Thu Aug 17 09:21:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uanzd/i_just_realized_something/

[Goal] Some goals for us!
/u/BluestNovember [5'4" | SW: 200+ lbs | CW: too high | BMI: under 40 | -26lbs | F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 09:19:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uanku/some_goals_for_us/

[Goal] I can finally see my collarbones
/u/dontcareifithurts__ [5'4.5 | 113.6 | - 7.6 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 07:48:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ua2k0/i_can_finally_see_my_collarbones/
Nobody really needs to comment, but I'm excited. I can finally see my collarbone in my shoulders. I'm down about 9 pounds now (I need to update my flair) and I physically feel lighter and smaller. My clothes are more comfortable. I'm in a good mood today. I look in the mirror sometimes and think "I look sick" but then the other side of my brain snaps in and it's like "Sick? you look GREAT." What a battle.

P.s. as usual, mobile... no flair option.

[Rant/Rave] I'm angry at myself
/u/mild-rose [5'11 | 122 |17.50 |not enough | f]
Created: Thu Aug 17 07:48:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ua2ey/im_angry_at_myself/
I couldn't stop binging for two months. Two freaking months. And now I have to start college looking like a whale.

And after how hard I fucking pushed myself to get to 120? It was that easy to ruin it??


[Discussion] Anyone else setting weekly calorie limits rather than daily?
/u/timetofadeaway [5'2 | CW scaredlikeamouse | LW 91 | GW1 110 | UGW 90 | F20]
Created: Thu Aug 17 07:46:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ua1w7/anyone_else_setting_weekly_calorie_limits_rather/
It's probably more common than I think but I only just started changing my limits from daily to weekly. I find this gives me more space if I mess up slightly and is also good for when I have a fast day and can add extra calories throughout the week if I want.

Obviously it has its downsides as it's easier to embody the 'make up for it tomorrow' mentality. Also, seeing that HUGE number of weekly calories gives me a slight panic attack. On the other hand I don't feel as much of a pig when I go over by 50 calories in a day and it's easier when I have to go off my plan before working out or when I'm with people.

Do any of you do this?

[Rant/Rave] I got fat again (except I didn't)
Created: Thu Aug 17 07:32:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u9z32/i_got_fat_again_except_i_didnt/
I've been trying to adopt some healthier eating habits like eating 3 times a day instead of fasting and then bingeing on carbs at 9pm. I also went on holiday with my family in Italy and ate Italian-style 4 course meals every evening. When I got home, I was feeling pretty ok with myself (had been able to wear a bikini without feeling like a whale and had got a tan for the first time in 5 years) so I got on the scale for the first time in a few weeks (another think I'd been trying to cut back on). I'd gained 6lbs. But, I told myself it was fine and probably just water weight and maybe a little bit of constipation. 2 weeks later and all of my good habits have gone. I'm fasting all day and then bingeing when I get home from work. Sometimes I break half way through the day and eat 3 chocolate bars in my lunch break. My daily cals are under 1500 always and I haven't lost a pound despite being 5'11". I can feel my stomach rolls getting bigger when I sit down but somehow that doesn't put me off the carby binges and only makes me feel more shit. I'd thought I was improving, if only slightly, but I guess this just goes to show that making yourself go through the actions of being healthy doesn't mean you're getting any better. I'm not even very fat - right now I'm 137 which puts my bmi at 19.1, whereas before I had got to 132 at my lowest putting me at 18.3. That's not even a whole bmi point's difference and yet now I can't bear to look at my body when I shower.

[Humor] Ah yes. My old friend.
/u/biscuitsisfluffy [5'4 | 11st 11 | 28.3 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 07:03:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u9t1r/ah_yes_my_old_friend/

[Discussion] Skipping breakfast before the most important test of my life?
Created: Thu Aug 17 07:01:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u9shk/skipping_breakfast_before_the_most_important_test/
Hey guys! So I've been doing IF for about a year. It's a pretty loose IF, basically I don't eat until 12:30-1 and then cut out eating after 9.

Coming up in September, however, is my LSAT (law school admission test). I've been studying for it all summer, non stop. The problem is that I have to take it at 8:30 am. I want to be on my game, without ANY factors holding me back or distracting me.

Do you think it's a good idea to have a light breakfast that day, like scrambled eggs with cheese and yogurt? And if so, I guess I should start that routine 2-3 weeks before the exam so my body is used to it and doesn't get sluggish as a result?

Any thoughts are appreciated! :)

[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support August 17, 2017
Created: Thu Aug 17 06:11:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u9jb0/weekly_emotional_support_august_17_2017/
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**


Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 17, 2017
Created: Thu Aug 17 06:10:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u9j5k/daily_food_diary_august_17_2017/
This is a daily food diary thread for August 17, 2017.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)

[Rant/Rave] Dysmorphiaaa
/u/like_a_living_thing [5'4" | 117 | F | πŸ‘½]
Created: Thu Aug 17 05:48:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u9f9r/dysmorphiaaa/
I literally have abs, and I think they make me look fat. Is that even possible? Why am I like this??

Someone please help me out. Is it even possible to have visible abs and a thigh gap and still be fat? Am I the first? UGH

[Rant/Rave] I'm a goddamned pig
/u/Ire_of_suburbia [5'4" | 85lbs | 14,6 | -53 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 05:06:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u98nb/im_a_goddamned_pig/
I'm losing my fucking thigh gap. I can't stop binging. I can't stop being lazy. I'm so fucking tired of putting up with my bullshit. Why don't I have the fucking willpower to restrict anymore? I've only gained a couple pounds, if I just quit being a whiny bitch and got my shit together I could lose them quickly and then go back to maintaining a weight I'm comfortable with BUT NO! I just HAVE to rationalize eating (if I don't eat enough then I'll get lazy as fuck and burn even less than I ate!!!11!1) and convince myself that it's all water and one of these mornings I'll have a wonderful woosh and find out I didn't gain anything at all AHAHAH YEAH SURE YOU IDIOT, KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT. WHY DON'T YOU GET STARTED WRITING YOUR FUCKING WISHLIST FOR SANTA WHILE YOU'RE AT IT? HE'S JUST AS REAL AS THAT WOOSH YOU'RE WAITING FOR AND THE CALORIES YOU ARE "GOING TO BURN".

Whew. Sorry, just had to let that out.
So... is anybody willing to come duct-tape my mouth shut and make sure it stays that way for a couple days until I've reached enough of a calorie deficit to be back at a decent weight? That's probably the only thing that would work right now :) :) :) (woah I've never used passive-aggressive smileys as often as I'm doing these past couple weeks)

[Help] 52kg one minute, 54kg the next??
/u/fiyacht524 [5'6" | 54kg | Female]
Created: Thu Aug 17 05:05:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u98ga/52kg_one_minute_54kg_the_next/

[Discussion] August 17th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [27F | 5'5 | 125 lb | 21.05 | GW 110 | UGW 105 ]
Created: Thu Aug 17 05:01:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u97qu/august_17th_2017_question_of_the_day/
If you had to spend five years in prison, what would you finally have the chance to do?

- I'd like to add that I'm so happy with the responses to these questions! It's great that we're able to open up to each other about things unrelated to our EDs. ❀️

[Help] Losing fat too quickly = loose skin? Has anyone in the higher range of "healthy" (25% body fat) experienced this?
/u/Harpieharper [5'1" | 121.6 | -42lbs | 26F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 04:15:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u90yx/losing_fat_too_quickly_loose_skin_has_anyone_in/

[Humor] a guide to binging on grilled cheese
/u/LivelyGhost [5'6" | CW: 141 | GW: 111 | -23 lbs]
Created: Thu Aug 17 02:38:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u8ny2/a_guide_to_binging_on_grilled_cheese/

*Butter:* this represents how much self-hatred you have, so don't be stingy with it. The key is to use inappropriate amounts of it

*Bread:* we're not here to think rationally, just use as many slices as it will take to make your stomach physically hurt. It's like self-harm, but with carbs

*Cheese:* this represents all the guilt pre-binge, during the binge, and after the binge. It creates a decadent taste of depravity when mixed with all the self-hatred butter


make sure it is past 12 AM but no more than 4 AM. This is the Extreme Binge Period. It is vital to do during this period of time.

Just fukcing eat 4 of these in a span of 20 minutes.

Voila. You have completed your binge that will throw you even deeper into the abyss that is disordered eating.

Created: Thu Aug 17 01:58:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u8itp/vora/

[Help] Two week plateau
Created: Thu Aug 17 01:13:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u8cs9/two_week_plateau/

[Rant/Rave] [rant/rave] i can't tell if i'm happy or panicking
/u/lowkeydeadinside [5'6" | cw: 125 | ugw: 98 | 17F | πŸ‘: starvingprincess]
Created: Thu Aug 17 00:37:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u87ki/rantrave_i_cant_tell_if_im_happy_or_panicking/
so i'm moving on friday to another state and i'll be ten hours away. my friends threw me a bonfire and i figured there would be booze so i didn't eat anything all day. i know alcohol has a ton of calories so i didn't eat to save all of my calories. well all the drinks i had also had mountain dew or lemonade or something like that. i still doubt i had over 600 calories but i got totally wasted. i'm freaking out because i have no idea how many calories i had but i'm also happy because i felt really loved surrounded by all my friends, plus being drunk makes me happy lmao. idk i just needed to rant a little bit

p.s. i'm sorry if there are any typos, i'm still drunk. i can type pretty decently when drunk but i usually think i typed perfectly and then look when i'm sober and realized i made a bunch of mistakes πŸ˜‚

[Help] I'm in a....... crappy situation.
Created: Thu Aug 17 00:27:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u8611/im_in_a_crappy_situation/
Throwaway because,,,, uh yeah.
I'm in a bit of a shitty situation. I've been constipated for about a week or two. Everything hurts. I've been bingeing and restricting on and off and it's been a wild ride,,,, Thought I would turn to y'all because no one knows more about poop than r/proED
So, anything to help me?

[Discussion] What can you do to deal with late night hunger pangs when excessive water drinking disturbs your sleep?
Created: Thu Aug 17 00:19:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u84qu/what_can_you_do_to_deal_with_late_night_hunger/
Recovering binge eater here.

I know water is the best option. I spend 45 minutes in my car googling zero calorie snacks. I had hunger pangs but also felt i needed something sweet for some reason. Looked up sugar free gummies for example.

This is my 5th binge-free day and i usually fuck up right about now.

I ended up negotiating with myself and said i could have two 90 cal cinnamon bun flavor fiber brownies and a bunch of water. But this was playing with fire because i have binged many times on protein and fiber treats. Honestly took a risk buying so much food today but was with family at the time snd sometimes the confidence of a few binge-free days makes me forget what i am succeptsble to. It seems to have done the trick for the night though.

But what is your way of dealing with it?

I've never been able to keep up restricting or dieting for very long without binging. I'm having the strongest stand ever against it because....well, this is sad...but it's become my new life goal to overcome this and lose weight and finally escape this nightmare of weight fluctuation. I'm in this for the long haul. I want to work on healthy eating behaviors but also get to my goal weight and just be the fit, strong guy i've always felt i was deep down, while letting my ED take the wheel for too much of my life.

So I'm looking for any tips and tricks that can help me along the way because I am done failing myself.

[Other] Hit a new goal weight so I'm treating myself to one of my favourite soups for lunch! :)
/u/flightlesspotato [166cm | CW 57.1kg | UGW 48kg | 20F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 00:01:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u823w/hit_a_new_goal_weight_so_im_treating_myself_to/

[Discussion] DAE get really bad cramps?
Created: Wed Aug 16 23:40:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u7yxt/dae_get_really_bad_cramps/
I'm sure most people that restrict get cramps. Like I get this one specific cramp on the right side of my belly, but it's not terrible. Just a cramp. I'm talking like on the ground in pain cramps. I don't frequently get these but when I do oh boy does it suck. I get some legendary calf cramps that instantly floor me. Often it happens when I'm sleeping and I literally end up off my bed on the ground for what seems like forever (I honestly have no clue how I end up off the bed). If it happens when I'm awake I can feel my leg wanting to cramp. It's asking me to flex my calf muscles. Like it's telling me "hey this is gonna happen and it'll hurt." I drink a decent amount of fluids but sometimes it seems like it's never enough. Anyway just wondering if this happens to anyone else or if maybe my body is just weird.

[Discussion] Calories in coffee?
Created: Wed Aug 16 22:51:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u7r18/calories_in_coffee/
Sorry I'm not a huge coffee drinker, I enjoy the taste but I've never been bothered. I've heard it's a good appetite suppressant though and I would like to try drinking it more often.

We have a good coffee machine here and my boyfriend's mom gets free ground beans from work so we have 3 bags but none of them have a nutrition label anywhere which is weird because Canada is very strict about that; all restaurants and fast food places must display nutrition in large print. We currently have two starbucks brand beans and one other brand dark roast, would a cup be safe to log as 0 or 5 calories if I'm only using calorie free sweetener? Also how well will it work to supress appetite? Normally I don't get very hungry until later in the day anyways but if I could coffee fast then I wouldn't feel so urged to eat everything on the first night.

[Discussion] I'm losing my best friend and hate everything [discussion]
Created: Wed Aug 16 22:09:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u7jz9/im_losing_my_best_friend_and_hate_everything/
Any advice or opinions or similar stories are welcome.

I got married about half a year ago and everyone called me bridezilla which just makes me more sad... I tried my hardest not to boss people around but if anyone sees weakness they decide their wedding planning way is the best. My best friend was my maid of honor and after the wedding she stopped talking with me for five months. We finally had a long exchange over text where she forgave me for the mistakes I made as a friend during my wedding season. We hung out once since then. I have asked her countless times if she wanted to do something and every time she comes up with an excuse to ignore me for days at a time until the date is long gone. The ONE TIME she let me come over, it was karaoke night so all she did was run around with her other friends and ignored me all night. I'm just so mad and hurt.

All I want to do is binge and then get it out of my body but I'm a singer so I can't vomit it up. I just sit here feeling disgusting feeling like I'm not worth a friendship and I should just thrive as the fat sack of shit that I am. God help me.

[Goal] πŸ‘πŸΎπŸ‘πŸΎ if you're eating your TDEE to break plateau.
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Wed Aug 16 21:29:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u7cno/if_youre_eating_your_tdee_to_break_plateau/
I want to start off by saying thank you to the mods of this group and to each and everyone of you that contribute. I've never felt so safe and comfortable talking about the things my brain comes up with.

Secondly, fill me with your positivity. If you've broken your plateau by eating your TDEE amount let me know 😊

Thirdly, I'm terrified that by eating 1929 calories in one day (I am trying to stay under 1400) I'll put on weight.

[Discussion] would you rather:
/u/misterrazorz [159 | 44.4 | 17.9 | a]
Created: Wed Aug 16 21:18:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u7ane/would_you_rather/
a) people keep asking you why you don't eat ("""normally""")


b) people completely ignore/not care about how and what you eat

personally i can't decide...

[Discussion] I just need to talk
Created: Wed Aug 16 21:17:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u7ala/i_just_need_to_talk/

[Other] Eye problems and disorientation
Created: Wed Aug 16 21:16:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u7ady/eye_problems_and_disorientation/

[Discussion] DAE restrict lightly (800-1000 calories) to avoid binging?
Created: Wed Aug 16 21:05:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u785u/dae_restrict_lightly_8001000_calories_to_avoid/
I push myself to eat more because I feel like if I eat as little as I would like I would binge or lose motivation to restrict.

[Other] Does anyone else use Vora to track fasts?
Created: Wed Aug 16 20:08:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u6x6r/does_anyone_else_use_vora_to_track_fasts/
They've added a social feature to the app, so I'm wondering if anyone wants to follow each other :) My username is the same as here.

Mods - if this post is against rule 2, then I'm happy for it to be deleted, but I wasn't sure so I'm posting anyway (sorry).

[Help] 260 lbs. 5'00" and Need Advice
Created: Wed Aug 16 20:07:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u6x5t/260_lbs_500_and_need_advice/

[Other] weightgain for other men
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 190lb | M]
Created: Wed Aug 16 18:38:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u6fde/weightgain_for_other_men/
slightly overweight guys: look like they could kick my ass, seem friendlier, stomach is cuter, maintain their cheekbones & facial structure

me, when anything over 20lbs underweight: similar in appearance to a decaying gourd

[Rant/Rave] i told my boyfriend about ED today // rant/advice ?
/u/kat-official [5'5" | CW: 140 lbs | UGW: 100 lbs | -105 lbs lost | 16F]
Created: Wed Aug 16 18:32:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u6e8b/i_told_my_boyfriend_about_ed_today_rantadvice/
we've been together for two years so he already kind of had an idea that i don't exactly eat normally but i don't think he realized how bad it was. it came up because i'm (finally) starting therapy next week and we were talking about my history with self harm and depression and stuff that he wanted to make sure i bring up and get a plan to replace those behaviours. he didn't really respond very much because he was tired and wanting to make sure he knew i was listening, which is great because it was important to me but i wish i knew what he was thinking. especially since he's stockier and a personal trainer and so always trying to make sure i'm eating enough and properly. hopefully he understands why i do things the way i do now. i plan to ask him about his thoughts on it again when it's tomorrow and he's more rested but i'm really scared of what he might be thinking of me. idk it's stupid but i've only ever told a doctor about ana and that was really long ago and didn't go well so it's kinda overwhelming for me ? i don't know what i'm gonna do if he reacts badly and i'm really anxious about it :/

[Help] |Advice/help| Smooth move prep?
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |110.8 | -109.2 | GW: 110 | UGW:105 | 20A]
Created: Wed Aug 16 18:26:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u6d28/advicehelp_smooth_move_prep/
I'm going to take some Smooth Move tea tonight before bed since, duh, I'm backed up. The last two times I used it I cramped up quite badly and felt generally gross so I was wondering if any of y'all had tips on how to ease the process?

I'm gonna be well hydrated and drink it right before I go to sleep so I hopefully don't wake up at 4am in a sprint to the bathroom, and I'm going to have a heat pad ready and waiting for my rumbly guts when the time comes. I'm also not going to snack a few hours before sleeping so that I don't have anything other than the past two days weighing down my insides. It gives me anxiety but I'd rather poop and be in a bit of pain then stay all bloated and nasty.

[Rant/Rave] Fractured my knee and got my period back and I feel awful
/u/Throwawacct1992 [5'1" | CW 110 | 21.7 | HW 132 | LW 100 | GW 95]
Created: Wed Aug 16 18:26:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u6d0a/fractured_my_knee_and_got_my_period_back_and_i/
Sorry I just need to vent. I spent a few months bingeing on and off after hitting my LW, put on about 10 lbs. I've been high-restricting pretty consistently since then and running all the time, but I had to stop running a few weeks ago because of a knee fracture. I can still use the elliptical and lift at the gym but it just doesn't feel right. I tend to screw up when my workout routine is off and I'm so scared I'm going to lose my endurance and keep gaining because I can't run.

Now, on top of feeling huge and flabby for the past few months, today I got my period back after losing it in January 2016. I know this is a good thing but it makes me feel like a failure. Of course I got so upset that I binged. Why am I like this

[Rant/Rave] think I overheard my parents talking about my eating disorder. feelin weird
/u/lonas_ [6'00 | 160 | 20.86 | gw: 125 | M]
Created: Wed Aug 16 17:55:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u66hc/think_i_overheard_my_parents_talking_about_my/
been in a cycle of strict fasting with intermittent 500-3000 calorie binges for a little while, wouldn't say I've seen too much weight loss, just in the legs and around the collarbones really.

It probably wasn't at all what I think it is, I honestly had just woken up and heard The Pops through the wall talking on the phone with someone, talking about food, which I found odd. Why would they talk about food? Then he started listing off food that he had made for dinner this week, and it sort of clicked he was talking about me, at least I thought and still do I guess. It's not at all guaranteed he was talking to my mom at all, although I did talk to her recently so there might be some sort of connection. Idk.

Feeling weird about if I should eat. The Pops has definitely expressed some concern for my eating when I was much leaner, without any explicit references to eating disorder, but with a persisting reference of food and eating that can only be surmised as "god pleeeease eat". Today before he left for work he made sure I knew what he had made for dinner, what was in the fridge, that he can bring me home something from work, all that etc. Idk, it kind of felt wrong in that moment. My dad's pretty fuckin' dope, honestly. Really hard working guy who cares about his kids more than anything. Feels wrong to make him worry about his kid like that. Idk.

I've been looking at a lot of El Greco paintings. He probably has some of my favorite depictions of Christ in art ever. Not just bc of how languid his depictions always are, but just how expressive they are and how the posing follows really well guided and contoured lines. good stuff.

[Rant/Rave] stupid rant/vent thing
/u/tarantulahospital [5'7 | -25lb | F]
Created: Wed Aug 16 17:42:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u63v8/stupid_rantvent_thing/
Haven't been on in awhile.
My mom found c/s in the toilet, got mad because i'm doing it for "attention"
then she tried to tell my friend while she was over at the house
THEN, perfectly timed, today i tried purging in my room but cue it totally missing the target and getting on my white bedsheets.

then school starts. on the fourth day my history teacher, who is overweight, said if we didn't eat vegetables we'd be a "fat cow."
this week's been fun.

[Rant/Rave] i want to binge
Created: Wed Aug 16 17:37:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u62v4/i_want_to_binge/

[Rant/Rave] Just wanted to take a sec to share my stream of consciousness with you lovelies (both a rant and a rave)
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Wed Aug 16 17:15:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u5y3q/just_wanted_to_take_a_sec_to_share_my_stream_of/
So this weekend was my grandma's memorial service, which was so beautiful and such a wonderful celebration of her life. But it was also sad because it was saying goodbye to my hero and basically twin. Also my family had so much food and alcohol and everything all weekend. It was a lot to handle on top of sleep deprivation and sadness.

Yesterday I signed the lease on my new apartment which is perfect and I'm so excited for my new roommate!!! But I was also driving all day so I ate like shit so now I feel less than stellar.

Today I've only eaten once, but it was a fucking chocolate chip cookie and I could literally see the butter dropping off it. Not to mention I feel gross from the crap I ate yesterday so blech.

But today I was asked to dinner by a hot, older man who has been flirting with me lately (I'm definitely interested)!!!!! So this will be my first date since getting out of a 7 year relationship in September. 😊

[Goal] Fasting Until September
Created: Wed Aug 16 16:03:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u5i7z/fasting_until_september/

[Goal] Ultimate goals. Before I decide what to eat, I always ask myself "what would Magdalena do?"
/u/nueroux [Dead Inside]
Created: Wed Aug 16 16:02:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u5i31/ultimate_goals_before_i_decide_what_to_eat_i/

[Help] Low carb advice
/u/FeedMeDreams [5'5" | 64.4kg | 23.5 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 16 15:49:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u5ezu/low_carb_advice/
I've been keeping my carbs below 50g/day for a couple of days and I feel like I'm dying. I'm also (somewhat) restricting calories, but not heavily. My head hurts all the time, I feel weak and incredibly tired, I have no interest in doing anything. I feel like my other option is to b/p like I always do, and I'm so sick of it. Am I doomed? Will I ever feel better again?

[Goal] After being stuck at 200-201 for over a week, I'M IN ONEDERLAND!!! (plus it's midday and tommorow morning will probably be lower!!!!!)
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 196 lb | GW: 120 lb | 22F]
Created: Wed Aug 16 15:28:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u59x4/after_being_stuck_at_200201_for_over_a_week_im_in/

[Intro] Salutations.
/u/OddTues [5'4" | 89lbs | 15 | Female]
Created: Wed Aug 16 14:21:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u4tfe/salutations/
I am a 26-year-old female named Tues(day) who was diagnosed with EDNOS (now OSFED) at 16-years-old,
but – after much research and consult with a therapist– I now know that I fit the DSM-5’s criteria for Anorexia Nervosa.

I have lurked r/proED off and on, becuase I just feel incapable of connecting with those around me, but reading your posts helps me feel a little less hopeless.

Like, just maybe, I'm not a complete lost cause who's burdening everyone. I hope I can help others feel a little more accepted, as well.

I am currently taking a break from college, but I am working on improving my grades and getting some other general classes out of the way at community college, so I may eventually transfer to a university (I don't feel comfortable saying which one, because I don't want to jinx anything) and attend their program to become a veterinarian.

I'm currently making general changes to become an ethical vegan (don't worry, I'm not going to judge anyone for eating meat or get preachy about it) starting with dietary and some simple lifestyle changes. I am currently in the process of moving back to my home state of Texas from my current residence in North Carolina, so I'm mostly studying various aspects of general and ethical veganism, but once I move back to Texas I plan to really dive into living a vegan lifestyle. For the record, I actually tend to eat more when eating vegan so this doesn't have to do with my eating disorder.

I have an elliptical that kicks my butt, but I'm also starting to do yoga and aiming to become a very skilled yogi, because I had been looking for an exercise regime to truly commit to for years. One that I can do at home with little to no extra equipment needed best suits where I am at in life. Plus, I had started doing some yoga once before and I really enjoyed it and felt proud when I got better at various poses and started having an easier time doing the breathing with the moves.

Well, I think that's enough about me.

Take care,

[Thinspo] Directly inspired from /u/homicidoll's post
/u/biscuitsisfluffy [5'4 | 11st 11 | 28.3 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 16 14:15:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u4s5y/directly_inspired_from_uhomicidolls_post/

[Help] I want to move on to laxatives
Created: Wed Aug 16 14:01:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u4oog/i_want_to_move_on_to_laxatives/

[Help] How do you kill those post work out cravings?
/u/tinycode [5'5" | HW 250 | CW 150 | GW1 120 | 22F]
Created: Wed Aug 16 13:39:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u4j8i/how_do_you_kill_those_post_work_out_cravings/
I do fasted cardio while working out, then a bit of weight lifting. One hour later I have huge cravings.

I hear decaf coffee helps as an appetite suppressant, but coffee after a workout sounds really gross. Does anyone else have any suggestions?

[Discussion] What meds have you been on and what effect did they have on your weight?
/u/kzxwy [5' 6" | CW: 134.8 | HW: 145.0 | GW: 115.0 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 16 13:35:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u4i7t/what_meds_have_you_been_on_and_what_effect_did/
OTC or prescriptions, for any issue.

For me:

YAZ- no effect on my weight that I noticed, cleared up my acne though.

Mirena IUD- I remember I was very skinny at the time I had my IUD and was doing well with my weight loss, but don't know if the IUD actually had anything to do with it. Had to have it removed because it gave me ovarian cysts and acne and slowly gained weight afterward removing it

Wellbutrin- no effect on my weight but made me a crazy bitch

Zoloft- completely took away my appetite. I lost 10 pounds my first month on it. Unfortunately gained it all back when I got off it.

What have been your experiences?

[Help] Iud and periods
/u/onlysaysNOO [5'3 | CW 93| BMI 16.94 |F]
Created: Wed Aug 16 12:26:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u40u7/iud_and_periods/

Nightmare Text
Created: Wed Aug 16 12:23:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u40b0/nightmare_text/

[Rant/Rave] Can't escape the binge.
/u/ibizadaydreams [5'1 | CW126 | 23.8 | GW95| F]
Created: Wed Aug 16 12:17:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u3yqx/cant_escape_the_binge/
So I've been doing everything I can stop try and stop binging. I gave my credit cards and debit card for my manager to hold onto. I just have a small amount of cash on me at all times. I told her it was because I'm trying to stop shopping and wanting to save money...

I order my food online through goodfood. I get 3 meals a week, 2 servings per meal. A week before I will pick whatever recipes I want for the following week and on Wednesdays they deliver only enough food for my three meals. Nothing more, nothing less. It stops me from going to the grocery store and getting unnecessary foods that shouldn't be in the house.

I get the food delivered to my work since someone is always there and I'm usually never home. I walked to work today to pick up my delivery and figured I would put it all in my backpack and walk home. I had a rough night last night and a rough morning so all I wanted to do the whole day was binge. I told myself I would walk to work, pick up my package and then walk home. If I could make it past all the take out restaurants on my walk there and back then when I got home I would make a smoothie.

Well... today at work the managers decided to buy McDonalds for everyone for lunch. I happened to get there right a lunch time. With tables full of free McDonalds and everyone telling me to sit down and have lunch with them......so a mountain of fries and cheeseburgers later I pack up my food to head home. Obviously on my way home I stopped and spent my last 10$ on a box of donuts since I fucked up with the McDonalds why stop there? Extremely disappointed in myself....

Today was my day off, I could have easily gotten away with just a smoothie mid afternoon and gone to bed hungry but still content with myself.....

Instead of doing all the fun stuff I wanted to do on my day off, I'm going to have to spend the rest of the night working off that pathetic binge.

[Discussion] What is your go-to safe food that will keep you from feeling shitty about what you eat?
Created: Wed Aug 16 11:51:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u3s5x/what_is_your_goto_safe_food_that_will_keep_you/
Like the title states, what's your go-to food for restriction that fits your calories, or something you allow yourself to have to prevent a full on binge?

Once a week I'll let myself have an Egg McMuffin, a hash brown, and a Diet Coke from McDonald's. It totals up to 450 calories, so it fits into my heavy restriction days of 500 calories 😊 it also makes me feel like I'm having something taboo, so I don't feel the need to binge!

I want to hear everyone else's safe foods πŸ˜‹

[Help] Help with electrolytes...
/u/mamaimabiggirlnow [5'7 | 286 | -14 pounds| 26 female]
Created: Wed Aug 16 11:19:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u3k93/help_with_electrolytes/
I'm having a hard time understanding electrolytes. I know what they do and I they are more than just sodium (potassium, magnesium, etc).

I have been eating between 500-800 (so not that low, but I am a very large person) for a week straight, no binges. When I feel like my electrolytes might be shitty, I have been having chicken stock or pickles. That helps with sodium, but does it cover all the other electrolytes, too? Or do I really need to be drinking something like diet gatorade or Propel zero?


[Rant/Rave] RANT - My weight keeps going up!
/u/Trinkets-Baubles [5'3 | 151 | 28.22 | 18 | F | UGW 110]
Created: Wed Aug 16 11:06:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u3gzx/rant_my_weight_keeps_going_up/
This is so frustrating. I've been restricting EVERY FUCKING DAY for the past 2-3 weeks, and exercising. There were only 2 days of those that met my tdee and my weight keeps saying it's gone up 6lbs. But on the other hand I also measure myself and apparently I've lost 3-4 inches all combined. Then why am I still so heavy?? Is it my seroquil? Do I need to add on cardio on my bodyweight days? What the heck is going on?! This is so frustrating. Like, I've worked so hard, and I'm still fucking fat.😧
No wonder people give up!

[Discussion] how do you guys deal with fatigue/general spaciness during restriction?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18 | 22F]
Created: Wed Aug 16 09:40:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u2v9t/how_do_you_guys_deal_with_fatiguegeneral/
i work 9-5 and towards the middle and end of the workday when i'm restricting i feel so exhausted and fatigued that even going upstairs to talk with my boss takes so much effort. i feel so out of it and spaced out. during college this isn't an issue as much probably because i'm distracted by class. i drink water/tea so idk how much hydration comes into it. how do you guys deal with fatigue and spaciness during restriction?

[Rant/Rave] [rave] I finally found an anti-depressant that works!
/u/archersarrows [5'6"|CW110|SW225|GW100|17.83]
Created: Wed Aug 16 09:24:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u2r9e/rave_i_finally_found_an_antidepressant_that_works/
...Not for fixing my depression, but for suppressing my appetite! At least it does something, though. I've been on three different meds this year alone (Prozac, Trintellix, and Wellbutrin), and they all did jack when it came to alleviating the depression. So far, so is lucky number four, Zoloft.

So I'm a big, anxious mess, but damn, I pop my Zoloft at night and don't feel like eating again for at least twenty hours.

[Discussion] Anyone else shame-lurk fatpeoplehate?
Created: Wed Aug 16 08:55:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u2k93/anyone_else_shamelurk_fatpeoplehate/
That forum is disgusting and I hate myself for it, but I find it so triggering in the best and worst way possible. I hate myself.

[Goal] How many pounds do you have left to go until UGW?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 117.4 | UGW: 102lbs]
Created: Wed Aug 16 08:53:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u2jqg/how_many_pounds_do_you_have_left_to_go_until_ugw/

[Rant/Rave] I just want a week alone with my eating disorder
Created: Wed Aug 16 08:36:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u2fv7/i_just_want_a_week_alone_with_my_eating_disorder/
i moved in with my boyfriend like 3 weeks ago and any kind of restriction has been painfully difficult because he watches me like a hawk and checks my weight and it has put me in fucking crisis. i just want him to leave for a week so i can have the house alone with my ED and let all the food in the fridge go bad. i am gaining weight despite us both eating very healthy & vegan. im freaking out i need to fast im sorry if this doesnt make sense i just want to get it out and i guess ask for advice on how to restrict while living with someone? we start classes next week so that might make things easier since ill be on campus all day but these past weeks have been agonizing

I can't eat anymore
Created: Wed Aug 16 08:16:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u2bf5/i_cant_eat_anymore/

[Discussion] What are your food go-tos?
/u/starpocalypse [4'10 | justfat | UGW: 70 | πŸ‘: starpocalypse]
Created: Wed Aug 16 08:00:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u27pg/what_are_your_food_gotos/
Hi lovelies,

School is about to start and I'm considering getting a pass for the more fun group fitness classes. I'm probably going to incorporate a two-a-day 2x a week.

I know that I can keep my calorie levels relatively close to 800 and still be okay; I'll also probably have one day a week where I max out 1000-1200.

My question is, for those of you who work out or are busy during the week, what foods are your go-tos? I'm going to be pretty busy with school and what I have so far is chicken tortilla soup on a meal prep day to eat throughout the week. Pinterest and google are great for recipes, but don't necessary have an ED perspective in mind tbh so I'm wary about calories.

Thanks in advance : )

[Discussion] Thoughs on High Restriction?
Created: Wed Aug 16 07:59:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u27e6/thoughs_on_high_restriction/

[Other] Bf is going away for a month
Created: Wed Aug 16 07:53:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u25yt/bf_is_going_away_for_a_month/

[Rant/Rave] body what the fuck??
/u/swagcat9000 [5'5" | 131 lbs | 21.8 | -37 | M |]
Created: Wed Aug 16 07:01:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u1v68/body_what_the_fuck/
I binged like hell for the past two weeks and I weighed myself yesterday and was 137 (I started at 131), I restricted yesterday and did well (went out to eat so I was only able to keep it under 1200 ugh) but I weighed myself today and I'm at 138.4? what the fuck?? I went to the bathroom twice yesterday???

also, I did the math and to have gained that much I would have had to eat over 1000 extra calories a day which I was eating a lot but I wasn't eating that much

so now, do i restrict today to help myself, or do i binge to comfort myself?

[Discussion] August 16, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [27F | 5'5 | 125 lb | 21.05 | GW 110 | UGW 105 ]
Created: Wed Aug 16 06:51:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u1t81/august_16_2017_question_of_the_day/
What question(s) do you love to answer?

[Discussion] Anyone Over 150 lbs and Looking For Support?
Created: Wed Aug 16 06:37:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u1qgd/anyone_over_150_lbs_and_looking_for_support/
Just looking to get a discussion going. I'm currently at 169 and down from 190 in January. It's been a constant battle of bingeing for months on end and restricting for months on end. While it's wonderful to see posts form all of you, I was looking for discussion for those over 150.

For years, I was able to dismiss having disordered eating because I'm bigger. I healthily went from 210 lbs to 138 about 9 years ago and the positive affirmations from those around me suddenly triggered this intense urge to restrict heavily. Or, when I started feeling comfortable to binge and binge and binge. I don't eat normally ever. It's all or nothing with everything in my life.

I posted not too long ago about my husband leaving home and how I felt so happy to be able to not have to worry about him seeing my restricting and intense exercising. Well, he moved back home and while things still haven't changed (he still doesn't touch me unprovoked) I was so happy to have him home that I went on a two week binge fest. I'm now up 5 lbs from 164 and I hate myself. I sat in the shower and sobbed and pinched at all of the belly fat around my c-section scars (mom of 2 here which makes all of this worse) last night and repeated over and over, "This is why he isn't attracted to you anymore." I am just so sad.

Anyway, looking for support and discussion. Were any of you the same way and able to dismiss your disordered eating because of being overweight or obese?

[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 16, 2017
Created: Wed Aug 16 06:12:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u1lrp/daily_food_diary_august_16_2017/
This is a daily food diary thread for August 16, 2017.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)

[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday August 16, 2017
Created: Wed Aug 16 06:10:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u1lk8/way_to_go_wednesday_august_16_2017/
This is the weekly achievement thread for August 16, 2017.

This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!


Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Thinspo] Outfit Thinspiration 8.16
/u/TeenyBeanieWeenie [5'6 (66 in)| 127 lbs| 20 BMI | - 3 (This week) | F]
Created: Wed Aug 16 06:09:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u1lb3/outfit_thinspiration_816/

back at it (:
Created: Wed Aug 16 05:16:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u1cdi/back_at_it/

[Humor] My ED check list
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Wed Aug 16 05:00:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u19py/my_ed_check_list/
Dizziness - check

Nausea - check

Moodiness - check

Inability to process multiple things at once due to brain fog - triple check

Weight loss -


Seriously tho, where you at??

[Discussion] Anyone 25+ older bc I feel like I have one foot in the grave in terms of internet age
Created: Wed Aug 16 04:26:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u14s5/anyone_25_older_bc_i_feel_like_i_have_one_foot_in/
used to be active here and made a new account. I'm paranoid about separating accounts now. I like having peers around me who understand the ED temptation and struggle while trying to become a full-fledged adult. I'm 25 and feel like I'm still trying to fight outta a womb

I will add all of you 25 and older bc tbh I feel too old for this shit but here I am/hope you guys understand.

[Help] Weird question- is bulimia with just fasting actually bulimia?
/u/polishium [5'1" | CW:103.5lbs | BMI:19.6 | GW:95lbs | 23F]
Created: Wed Aug 16 03:33:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u0xin/weird_question_is_bulimia_with_just_fasting/
Like the definitions of bulimia tend to include fasting in there too. But it doesn't feel as.. legitimate I guess? It feels more just like an unhealthy relationship with food. When people think of bulimia they always think of purging. Not just binging and then strict dieting to try to compensate.

Idk my thoughts are a mess sorry.

edit: I'm not trying to be offensive or anything. I just genuinely don't know and I trust you guys more than a doc who hasn't heard of these things outside of a textbook.

[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo.
Created: Wed Aug 16 03:18:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u0vid/daily_thinspo/

[Help] How many calories in just a pizza crust?
Created: Wed Aug 16 02:34:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u0pkj/how_many_calories_in_just_a_pizza_crust/
Sorry I know this is random and I'm not sure if it's allowed. My boyfriend always has these oven cook frozen pizzas (he eats terribly and has an insane metabolism which is one of my problems) and he leaves the crusts. Last night I finished off the crusts from his pizza and I don't know how many calories I consumed and it's driving me crazy. It was just a plain crust. Please help!!

[Discussion] I just don't feel full.
Created: Wed Aug 16 02:03:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u0lim/i_just_dont_feel_full/
I don't know why but all my life, I've never really been able to feel full. I don't really know how to explain it. I can eat a huge meal and still not feel full. Sure, I won't be hungry anymore, but I'll still have this sort of empty feeling in my stomach.
I was jut wondering, does anyone else feel this way? I think I read something about it a while ago but I'm not sure.

[Goal] Finally broke my plateau, and just in time for vacation! There is hope!
Created: Wed Aug 16 01:47:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u0jfe/finally_broke_my_plateau_and_just_in_time_for/
Y'all, oh man. I can't share this with my boyfriend cause he'll be upset but I have to tell somebody.

I've been at the same damn weight for 2 weeks and I FINALLY managed to get past it! My goal was to lose 5lbs before I go on vacation (on Friday) AND I DID IT. Time to binge on vacation and fulfil my lifelong dream of becoming a human balloon. /s

I hope y'all can be as lucky as me, a whoosh could never have been more appropriately timed. :')

[Rant/Rave] Exercise addiction [rant/rave]
/u/rebirthmark [5'3" | CW: 40.5kg | BMI: 16.01 | -8kg | F]
Created: Wed Aug 16 00:32:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u090x/exercise_addiction_rantrave/
You know it's funny how I'm trying to keep up with my addictions to both restricting and exercising at the same time when they affect each other so negatively. Even my doctors have said that vigorous exercise can be dangerous at my BMI.


I'm finally having my holidays and instead of relaxing and pigging out like 'normal' people I'm planning my days around exercise. Sedentary days make me anxious and depressed so I try to at least include walks and cycling to each day. But my plan is to run, run, run, (runner's high tho!!!) and swim so much! I've got so much time for it. <3

Yesterday I got a bit scared when the scale told me I weighed 39.5kg. I had been trying to eat at maintenance?? I'm uncomfortable with my weight starting with 3 as it sounds so hospitalization-tier and it does no favors for my exercise routine.This triggered a binge.

I certainly don't like the aftermath of binging but on the other hand it gives me extra energy for my next workout. It's easier to lose the calories by eating at sedentary maintenance while being active (and it doesn't trigger a b/p cycle!)

DAE have obsessive tendencies when it comes to exercise??

(Having flair problems, I'm on mobile)

[Other] Pickle juice is a godsend when you're craving something salty
Created: Wed Aug 16 00:12:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u0626/pickle_juice_is_a_godsend_when_youre_craving/
0 calories, baby. Sometimes I'll sit down and drink a whole jar.

[Other] He got out of jail today and I'm a mess
Created: Tue Aug 15 23:22:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tzyij/he_got_out_of_jail_today_and_im_a_mess/
Hey again. I don't know who cares to read this.

A couple days ago I posted [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tdodq/posting_this_here_because_you_people_are_the_only/) about the guy I work with who tried to kill me. Worked together and were housed in the same building (worked at a resort). After it happened my bosses assured me even if he did get out, I'd never have to see him.
Whelp, this morning I woke up early, refreshed, feeling good. Got my coffee on, was studying and listening to Jack Johnson. I was so fucking happy for the first time since it happened.
Then the phone rang. They're letting him out within the hour. Fuck. Fuck. Godammit. Fuck. A panic attack ensues.
Cue my roommate watching as I scramble to evacuate like I'm anticipating a volcanic eruption. I'm in tears as she asks what's wrong and if she can help. All I say is they're letting him out, please tell them (my bosses) and I'm sorry.
I ran to a hotel nearby where I'm supposed to take my somm exam and have spent the day studying bingeing and purging. I know they don't know where I am, and more importantly he doesn't know where I am. I'm fucking terrified.

[Help] Major bloating?
/u/dontcareifithurts__ [5'4.5 | 113.6 | - 7.6 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 21:18:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tzd65/major_bloating/
Mobile, no flair sorry.

I may have posted this before but does anyone else deal with MAJOR and massive bloating? I feel like anything I eat will make my stomach puff out like crazy, even drinking too much water. Unless I've eaten next to nothing, at the end of the night if I relax my stomach it looks like I'm 3-4 months pregnant. It's been this way for as long as I can remember and I've never found anything that works to get rid of it, except just plain not eating. Even in the years where I've eaten pretty well and gained weight properly, it's just... constant. A daily struggle.

How do I get rid of it?! I already exercise a lot and drink a ton of water. Will probiotocs help? Metamucil? Anything??? I also get constipated really easy so maybe that's related. Everything in my gut just seems... sluggish. Help meeeeee

[Rant/Rave] When life is a cruel bitch that taunts your recovery.
Created: Tue Aug 15 20:09:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tyznl/when_life_is_a_cruel_bitch_that_taunts_your/

[Thinspo] Vanessa Marano on the set of #savingzoemovie
/u/rizzie_ [5'2F CW:128 GW:110 ||πŸ‘ rizzie_]
Created: Tue Aug 15 20:04:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tyyof/vanessa_marano_on_the_set_of_savingzoemovie/

[Other] I'm getting boobs
/u/gettingagrip4 [5'3" | Baby Hippo | 22 | -60 | 31F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 19:43:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tyukc/im_getting_boobs/
So I've lost about 70 pounds since the end of January plus I have 2 children. What's left of my boobs is just a disgrace. I thought I was ok with being flat chested, and I would be if they weren't so saggy (sorry tmi). I went from a D to an A cup.

Long story short, I'm getting tits as an adult who has never had to have surgery or be put under anesthesia. What I'm most nervous about is still being unhappy with my appearance and doing all of this for nothing.

[Discussion] Songs related to EDs?
Created: Tue Aug 15 19:15:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6typ9u/songs_related_to_eds/
Edit: On mobile, flair as discussion please

I made a playlist of songs that remind me of EDs. Does anyone have any suggestions for songs?

Current Playlist:
Skinny Love-Birdy
Zero-Smashing Pumpkins
Tunic-Sonic Youth
Two-The Antlers
The Sea is a Good Place to Think of the Future-Los Campesinos
A Line allows Progress, a Circle does not- Bright Eyes
So Sad, So Sad-Varsity
Paper Bag-Fiona Apple
4st 7lb-Manic Street Preachers
Cars And Calories- Saves the Day
Please Eat-Nicole Dollanganger
Lucy at the Gym- Lucy Sobule
The Fear-Lily Allen
Eyesore-Maria Mena
Skinny-Edith Backlund
Bleed Like Me-Garbage
Bones-Charlotte Martin
My Eating Disorder- Titus Andronicus
1994- Pwr Bttm

[Rant/Rave] My weight loss and daily running (except Sunday's) will start tomorrow
Created: Tue Aug 15 18:54:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tykyc/my_weight_loss_and_daily_running_except_sundays/

Struggling with ED behaviors and thoughts (24 M)
Created: Tue Aug 15 18:33:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tygo9/struggling_with_ed_behaviors_and_thoughts_24_m/

[Rant/Rave] My friends are well meaning but... well they're literally making me barf lol
Created: Tue Aug 15 18:29:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tyfvj/my_friends_are_well_meaning_but_well_theyre/
Constantly trying to feed me. This is the group of friends I have that know me the most-- I've moved around a lot and settled here about four years ago and have been rocking with the same group of people for three or four years. They know what I'm like when I'm doing well and they know what I'm like when ~cRaZy~ which is DEFINITELY now lol.

My friends and I are all stoners that either love to go out and eat or love to order in and watch dumb shit like Martin or Judge Judy and laugh at one another. They're all wonderful beautiful people with high metabolisms so they can just eat whatever the fuck they want. I've been EXTREMELY strict with myself-- everything in my life is in chaos so even though this is HURTING me and I feel weepy throughout the day and I take forever to get out of bed-- well, it's all I have right now. And in being strict I have not binged badly. I have been eating less that 500 calories a day since beginning of July and I've lost about 30 pounds. Any day where I eat heavily I eat around 1000. Those. Days. Are. Always. Because. Of. Friends.

They can never just leave me alone when I say I'll order a salad. Or when I say I'm not hungry. Or that I'll have a boiled egg and coffee for breakfast. Or that I've brought my own snacks. I went out for drinks with some friends the other day and got pressured into ordering food πŸ˜’ I felt SO fat after I ate it, like actually like my stomach was big enough to hold the population of a sprawling continent.

And so what did I do? Well I took the path I promised I wouldn't this time around and I went to the bathroom and barfed it all up. πŸ™ƒ So I guess the good ol' bulimia is back as well in trying to maintain the facade of rapidly disintegrating normalcy.

How do you all deal with these pressures? I am so tired but this is literally all I have.

[Discussion] DAE follow a keto diet and do you find that it helps with energy levels when you severely restrict?
/u/Harpieharper [5'1" | 123.6 | -40lbs | 26F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 18:10:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tybq3/dae_follow_a_keto_diet_and_do_you_find_that_it/
I've recently started fasting and threw keto into the mix because I felt that it'd be better to maintain a state of ketosis rather than wave in and out of it. My energy is shit right now even though I've been eating ~1,000 calories on the days I don't fast (which I feel is sufficient enough for satiety/energy). I plan to go down to 500 calories or so once I'm keto-adapted and wonder if hunger/energy/etc. would be unaffected. Because technically it should feel the same eating nothing at all versus eating a moderate amount once you're in keto right? I'd like some input from a veteran if possible! Thanks.

[Rant/Rave] I’m not as excited for college anymore
/u/Keiwii [5'2 | GW:110 | UGW:90 | -32lbs]
Created: Tue Aug 15 18:01:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ty9sv/im_not_as_excited_for_college_anymore/
I don’t know why this is effecting me the way it is , but ever since my roommate got in touch with me I started to feel like shit even more . Looking at her pictures encourages me to not want to even eat again . I’m not saying I have a problem interacting with thinner people , Its the simple fact that I’m going to be LIVING with someone with such high confidence (stalked her page/statuses) My family is overweight so I’ve never lived with someone smaller than me. I feel like I’d be sucking in my stomach 24/7 and tip toe around so my thighs won’t jiggle as much . It’s so stupid , I can’t stop obsessing about how much thinner she is than me . I bet she has a great personality too, but it’s me being insane . She says she’s very social and I’m not as social but I wanted to get out of my shell more for college so I didn’t mind that ... JUST WASNT EXPECTING HER TO BE SO HOT . Imagine how fucking stupid I’d look getting a different roommate because of that . Why can’t I just be confident? it would make my life so much easier .

I’m sorry I just really needed to get that off my chest , any advice is welcomed

[Help] College grocery tips?
/u/overweightandstress [5'8 | CW: 144 lb | BMI: 21.4 | GW: 127 lb| F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 17:25:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ty2da/college_grocery_tips/
Hi guys! Firstly just want to say this is my favourite sub and you are the nicest people I've ever met on the internet so TY FOR BEING YOU

Anyway, I'm getting a little anxious because I used to have meal plans on campus but I gained a ton of weight and my binge eating disorder was really exasperated as I was super depressed at the time. My college is in the city, so I've decided this year I want to take advantage of that and try and cook more.

Does anyone have go-to's at Trader Joes or other grocery stores that would make sense for a college student trying to lose weight but not break the bank? I am terrible at grocery shopping and feel like I make dumb decisions (in general lol.) Thank you in advance!

[Rant/Rave] Today was a binge day
/u/kickkkasss [5'5 | CW:134 | GW:110 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 17:18:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ty0vl/today_was_a_binge_day/
A guy I've been seeing saw a picture of me from when I was at my lowest weight and I said yeah I was kinda skinny there. He said "I wouldn't really say you were skinny".

My landlords found out about the kitten I've been keeping in my house and now I have to give her away. I love her so much and I am heartbroken.

4000 calories later. What a fun day.

[Rant/Rave] I fucked up. I need to vent, for some things to get off my chest- keep scrolling
/u/TinyandLost [5'6 | Gross | BMI - OW | -13lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 16:41:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6txt09/i_fucked_up_i_need_to_vent_for_some_things_to_get/
I fucked up, hard! I knew I was doing it but I never expected anything to come of it.
I don't want to go into detail as I know I'm a piece of shit, I'd rather not get anymore judgement.

I messed up, it was fun at the time but I fucked up. I ruined so much and I've now lost friends because of it. I hate myself beyond belief and I'm spending every moment loading up goddamn Facebook messenger to see if anything pops up. I'm living in fear. My anxiety is through the roof, I'm as close to suicidal as I think I can get without actually going ahead with it. To make things worse, I'm bouncing between wanting to eat just to feel better and screaming at myself for thinking that way.

I know it won't make me feel better. I know I eat to cover up. I know that's my fucking problem, but now I don't want to. I'm fighting this urge to put food in my fucking mouth just because I'm angry and upset.

I just want this fraction of hell to be over so I can go back under my rock, where I'm safe and sound, and only mediocrely depressed. I know I messed up and I know I ruined everything for you (random unnamed person) but please just leave me alone. I'm suffering enough, just let this go. I know I messed up, I realise that. Just, for fucks sake, I'm not the person you should be screaming at. Please, I'm punishing myself. You don't need to aswell, soon enough everyone else will. Just leave me to my misery.

[Rant/Rave] spiraling
/u/semperdeep [F19 | 5'5" | CW: lol | BMI:25 | -29 | GW:109.9]
Created: Tue Aug 15 15:55:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6txih9/spiraling/
Foraying out of lurkdom to say, first of all, thank the lord for you lovely people. I can't tell you how relieved I am to know that I'm not the only one who thinks the way I do.

Now, I go to a military university where we all wear the same uniform, we get weighed in four times a year, and we all eat together 2x a day. Basically a nightmare. We go back to school tomorrow, and I am an anxious wreck. We, as females, oftentimes are largely judged on "aptitude" by our looks, and I really and truly believe with the most logical part of my brain that my life will be quantifiably better if I can suck it up and lose the damn weight...

...but I can't, for the life of me, stop shoving my face full of terrible, terrible, calorific things. I can go days, more than a week without eating, make awesome progress, but eventually, something snaps and I turn into a black hole. I purged for the very first time not too long ago, and the rush is terrifying. I am, as titled, spiraling, mentally, physically...

basically, when you all get like this, what do you do to get your head above water? I am a mess, and I'm so not ready to come forward to anyone I know about this.

Thanks again for the ear, and I hope you wonderful people are having a great and happy Tuesday!

[Discussion] What are some healthy foods you don't allow yourself to buy in fear of binging on them?
/u/mypure [5'8 | 20 | πŸ‘: mypure]
Created: Tue Aug 15 15:28:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6txccf/what_are_some_healthy_foods_you_dont_allow/
Aka "fear" foods that happen to be traditionally healthy.
Foods that are great in moderation, but you can't help but binge.

Mine are: nuts, yogurt, and granola.

[Rant/Rave] Never thought I'd fit in size 4 jeans!
/u/YukiHase [5'9'' | 121.0 | 17.9 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 15:24:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6txb9g/never_thought_id_fit_in_size_4_jeans/
You guuuuuuys I just went to the mall today in need of a new pair of levis (since my old ones were way too big for me now) and I was afraid that a size 4 pair wouldn't fit but they actually fit perfectly!!! A couple months ago when I got a size 6 pair I tried on a size 4 and it didn't even button!!!

Also now instead of a size small in shirts I'm now an extra small! :) I'm really excited since I never thought I'd be able to fit in these sizes!

[Help] Can anyone help me figure out an estimate of calories I had?
Created: Tue Aug 15 15:04:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tx6o6/can_anyone_help_me_figure_out_an_estimate_of/
I had breakfast at a diner today. What I usually do is say I can eat one meal as much as I want and nothing else for the rest of the day but today I had a lot so I'm worried.


2 scrambled eggs
Shredded home fries
Half a small sausage link, just one bite
One and a half (plate sized) pancakes with adequate butter and syrup

I've also had nearly half a 2 liter of ginger ale cuz of a stomach ache which is about 4-500 calories

How bad is it?

Edit: currently freaking the fuck out. Going on vacation to a lake in half a week lol. If I gain more weight :(:(

Apps to track calories & progress
Created: Tue Aug 15 15:03:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tx6ag/apps_to_track_calories_progress/

[Rant/Rave] Why do I always do this
/u/for-your-pleasure [5'3" | CW120ish | GW99 | AFAB/they]
Created: Tue Aug 15 15:03:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tx68w/why_do_i_always_do_this/

[Rant/Rave] Why!!!!! Rant. A rant. TW self harm maybe
/u/Cosmoflower [168cm | 140lbs | 22.5 | 30lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 14:54:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tx44b/why_rant_a_rant_tw_self_harm_maybe/
Why??? Why do I keep putting food in my mouth????? If I know I'm going to want to die later???? Why????????? Why do I do it? Why!!! I'm so mad at myself. Why does my brain do this to me! Why tell me it's okay to eat and then make me hurt myself to make up for it!

That's my rant thanks for listening. 😞

[Rant/Rave] New Binge Preventers (rant)
/u/sweettutu64 [5'3 | 143.8 lbs | 26.18 | -51.2 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 14:30:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6twxwp/new_binge_preventers_rant/
I didn't really know how to title this but I'm constantly on the lookout for something new that will keep me from binging, because after something works for a while it inevitably stops. Coffee used to keep me from binging, and then when it didn't tea did the trick. Tea was replaced by gum, and then diet soda, and then going for walks, or having broth. I got some e-cigs and they've been working, but I know in a few months it'll probably stop and I'll have to figure out a new "thing" to keep me from becoming a human vacuum cleaner. I know it's all in my head, I feel like I'm just too used to whatever I've been doing and I get so bored that I have to do something else. It's extremely frustrating.

[Intro] [Intro]
Created: Tue Aug 15 14:23:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tww64/intro/
Hey! I'm new but lurked for awhile and made a few comments just to later delete on my main account so hi :).

Are GI issues common with eating disorders
Created: Tue Aug 15 14:19:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6twvao/are_gi_issues_common_with_eating_disorders/

[Help] How to deal with constipation?
Created: Tue Aug 15 14:03:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6twrbu/how_to_deal_with_constipation/
Hi guys I'm new here and I've only recently realised my ED is back but this time I'm really committing.
Though this time I've run into an unexpected problem. I eat 400-800 calories per day plus an hour to two hours of exercise. I try my best to eat healthy and take supplements but my shits are so shit. I don't want to develop a laxative dependency and I am taking fibre supplements.
Tried different types, still no improvement. I do have an insane amount of stress from school right now, could that be what's affecting me?
And did your poops return to normal after you returned to a normal diet?
I'd love some help/tips thanks!

[Rant/Rave] I now weigh over 100 lbs......
/u/ToostsieWooGirl92 [5'5 | CW: 98lbs | GW:93lbs | 16.5 | 16 F ]
Created: Tue Aug 15 13:30:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6twj6k/i_now_weigh_over_100_lbs/
So long story short I had to go to the psychiatrist just for like a normal check in (not regarding my ED, no one knows a bout it, just general mental health stuff) and didn't even think about the fact that they would weigh me until I was in the car there. I weighed 102.6lbs.

I know thats like nothing but I have never been over 100 in my life and it honestly scares the shit out of me and I don't know how to handle it.

And when my mom found out (she goes with me) she was all excited and like "YAY!!" and I was like shut up mom (obvi didn't say that but seriously wanted to). Then my mom said that she thinks I'm to concerned with my weight and my psychiatrist "but your so thin you don't need to worry!" and my mom was like "I think its more about the numbers" and I just sat there and said nothing.

Sorry this was long and irrelevant but I just needed to vent and feel like I was telling someone

[Rant/Rave] my sisters doctor advised her about "starvation mode"
/u/blairwaldorfmustpie [5'5 | 200+lbs | 35 | -26 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 12:38:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tw5yy/my_sisters_doctor_advised_her_about_starvation/
my sister is recovering from an ED and has *finally* gotten in touch with a doctor/dietitian, and she told me that they want her eating every 2 hours to avoid going into "starvation mode", which frustrates her since she's used to eating 2 meals and maybe a snack at most when she isn't actively restricting, so i told her it's probably due to her being malnourished because i don't think the average healthy person has to eat *that* often, but she said that if you don't eat at least every 4 hours you'll go into "starvation mode", according to her and her doctors. now i didn't fight this because i'm not a doctor and i want her to recover, so i don't want to make her think she shouldn't be listening to her doctors advice, but it frustrated me so much! i can't believe actual doctors are teaching that! any time i've lost a significant amount of weight has been with fasting and not eating more than 800cals a day, so how the fuck does starvation mode work into that?? it's nonsense but i can't tell her that because that means exposing my habits and almost definitely making things worse for her, and, more selfishly, i don't want her or anyone in the family telling me to eat more often so i don't go into the dreaded *~starvation mode~*, especially since my parents already buy into most of that kind of horseshit

[Help] natural appetite suppressants?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18 | 22F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 12:23:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tw236/natural_appetite_suppressants/

[Other] My ED bullet journal of sorts
Created: Tue Aug 15 11:50:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tvtpi/my_ed_bullet_journal_of_sorts/

I thought I'd share my bujo for tracking my eating habits - perhaps it will help someone :) This is a system I've been using for a while now (especially when I'm restricting). I found an old A6 dotted Leuchtturm notebook today and decided it was time for a ~fresh start~ lol.

Basically, this is kind of a game for me and the **rules** are simple:

* Every hour I fill one circle - black is for fasting hours, pink is for when I eat.

* I must eat my meals within an hour and there must always be at least 5 hours between them (so 5 black circles, 1 pink, 5 black and so on).

* All meals must be <300 calories. If I eat 180, I still have to wait 5 hours to eat again. I also can't 'save' calories and eat them later in the day.

The 'start' thingy on the left page is just so I know when I started, so I can colour the circles at the same time every hour. I also try to make all my meals KETO or low-carb, but that's just a personal preference - I'm less hungry that way. I decorate the pages with quotes I like or drawings/stickers :)

[Discussion] It's not the hunger that gets me
Created: Tue Aug 15 11:37:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tvqfe/its_not_the_hunger_that_gets_me/
Obligatory "hey guys, my name's Chloe. I'm new!" I've been lurking on here for a few weeks, and I finally made a throwaway for this sub. I've been restricting at <200cal a day, and it'd be a breeze if it weren't for the CRAVINGS. I'm fortunate enough to be able to cut down on my eating fairly easily, but man oh man, what makes it so tough is thinking about all the foods I can't eat. No cookies, no lil caesars stuffed crazy bread, no chocolate, basically none of my favorite foods! I'm getting a bit antsy with just eating jello cups and apples and bites of random things I find in my fridge here and there (but I hate not being able to track the calories for these bites, so it's mostly just jello cups and apples). Do any of you guys have any snacks that satisfy your salty or sweet cravings that are under 80cals?
Edit: my friend came by selling spam musubis, SAVE ME

[Help] I'm so down, I hate bingeing, insomnia, and myself
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Tue Aug 15 11:27:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tvnyc/im_so_down_i_hate_bingeing_insomnia_and_myself/
Insomnia has become my living hell. Diet pills, while they curb my appetite all day, I think won't let me sleep.

Time: 4am, go to the local convenience store because there is nothing in the house, I already hit 1300cals on Monday so I'm ruined. Purchase muffin, apple croissant, cheese puffs, and a chocolate bar. Eat everything.... too tired to purge but hating myself so much now for not. I feel disgusting, I want to just get the fat out from under my skin.

No food today, although with that 4am binge I'm at over 2500 anyway......

How do you stop a binge cycle? I'm so scared. Food is on my mind and I feel the high.... I hate this, why do I do this.

I've been so good. I can't let this cycle happen again, I'm so lost. I can't binge, please do not let this happen to me. I need to reach my GW by the end of September or else I've failed myself. I'm just so so depressed, thank you for reading.

[Rant/Rave] I hate myself
/u/mushroomlevel [5'6" | 107 | 17.34 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 10:33:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tva8l/i_hate_myself/
My suicidal thoughts are never about the world being too painful and needing to escape. It's always because I am such a screw up and I should remove myself from the population. The longer I'm here the more I make a fool of myself and inadvertently hurt people. Remembering all the stupid things I've done in the past I get stuck in a loop of "haha I should just die." Some days this thought is more serious than others.

[Rant/Rave] "What's your deal breaker?"
/u/tinycode [5'5" | HW 250 | CW 150 | GW1 120 | 22F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 10:28:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tv8uw/whats_your_deal_breaker/
Last night I was talking to one of my guy friends from work, who's fairly attractive and had his fair share of girlfriends and FWB's.

We were casually talking about bad dates and all that, he asked me "What's your deal breaker?" and I told him ya know, someone who talks too much about himself or if he's parties too much.

Then he was like "well, you might think I'm an asshole...but when she's overweight.."

Obviously I wanted to fire on him about how some girls have ED's and that being overweight can be a mental and physical strain on the individual but I didn't want to act snooty especially he knows that I lost so much weight. I know he talks to me a bit more than before but I'm still technically overweight and this just made me mad for no reason at all. /rant

[Discussion] First fast
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 118 | GW: 110 | Male]
Created: Tue Aug 15 09:36:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tuvxd/first_fast/

[Rant/Rave] I'm going to throw a fit
/u/BasicallyBelle [5'5 | CW 143 | GW 113]
Created: Tue Aug 15 09:28:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tutwp/im_going_to_throw_a_fit/
I've been struggling with eating related issues for a very very long time. There has been a lot of disordered eating history and I'm finally coming to accepting the fact that I have a very real and very serious problem.

So I go to the doctor and sit down with her and I'm like "okay so here is my problem, I think I hahe an eating disorder please help blah blah blah" and she has the NERVE to look at me and say "well... I don't think you have an eating disorder or any reason to have an eating disorder. I'd kill to look like you, you aren't fat. Seriously I wish I were as thin as you. Get over yourself"

Oh really Jan? Well you have three freaking toddler brats and you're husband owns a restaurant, there is a reason your weight is what it is. WHAT THE ACTUAL HECK. How can you just write off someone's medical related issues?!

Why am I like this?
Created: Tue Aug 15 08:43:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tujcg/why_am_i_like_this/

[Tip] Something that helps me not binge
Created: Tue Aug 15 08:14:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tud2w/something_that_helps_me_not_binge/
Fidget spinner! Since I got one I've had a much easier time not binging (fingers crossed this continues). I think it's something about using that weird kinetic nervous energy, and focusing on tiring out a very specific part of your body. It's like an instant easy mindfulness that really helps to get out of that headspace. Anyway I thought other people might find this useful :))

[Rant/Rave] Hitting yet another low point and rethinking my whole life
/u/iloveitosusumu [5'9" | CW170 | GW120 | BMI24.65 | 19F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 07:39:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tu5ho/hitting_yet_another_low_point_and_rethinking_my/
I'm constantly yo-yoing between the same ten pounds and I'm so unbelievably sick of it. I can't discipline myself at all and my warped body image is always screwing me over. I'll notice that I've lost some weight and think "ah yes some leeway to be a fat fucking slob again finally" and then immediately reach self-loathing dips that make each rise and fall so drastic. I wish I hated myself enough to just stick to something, if I give myself even a modicum of leniency or kindness I always fall off in the end.

I wish I just didn't have to eat at all! I hate it so much! Every time I get in the kitchen to make a meal there's always things I can't have or things I don't want and every single gram that enters my fat jaws has to be weighed. It's so tedious that I either don't do it at all or I abandon it and eat like squidward in the patty vault. If I eat one thing I shouldn't then OOPS it's time to eat EVERYTHING I shouldn't because who knows when I'll get the chance to eat it again (next week probably, when the exact same fucking thing happens).

Looking in the mirror I either see something that could be worse or actual sentient blubber and it destroys me in one way or another. Currently on what I'm praying is the ass-end of another weekend overindulgence and I just want to die.

Lemonade diet/master cleanse success?
/u/overweightandstress [5'8 | CW: 144 lb | BMI: 21.4 | GW: 127 lb| F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 07:34:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tu4ln/lemonade_dietmaster_cleanse_success/

[Intro] Is this a place for me?
/u/ibizadaydreams [5'1 | CW126 | 23.8 | GW95| F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 07:26:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tu30i/is_this_a_place_for_me/
Back in the day I was all about Xanga, does anyone remember that? I found it helpful to find support and a place to keep track of everything. If I'm posting this in the wrong spot please direct me to where I should go. I'm new at this.

A bit about me...although never diagnosed or got professional help I guess I would consider myself recovered from anorexia with bulimic tendencies.

From age 12-21 I was always very thin, restricting constantly, exercising for hours a day, abusing laxatives and going through cycles of binging/purging every month or so.

Eventually it all just sort of stopped. I stopped hanging out with my group of friends. I left my abusive boyfriend and stopped sleeping around. I moved across the country and started a new life with someone who really made me happy.

I'm 27 now. I have gone back a bit and restricted, but mostly binging/purging. It's been about 6 years now and I went from doing absolutely everything I could to stay below 89-93lbs, and now what feels like out of nowhere I'm 126lbs. I don't know how it happened. I went a long time without weighing myself. About 3 years ago and I was at 112 and I cried for days when I saw the scale.

We moved back home and we have been here for about 2 years now and I feel like I've been miserable ever since. The binging/purging happens more often. My weight went from 112-124 without me even knowing.

We just got back from a family vacation and I can't even look at the pictures. I've never been more disappointed in myself. I don't know how I went 6 years or so ignoring these thoughts in my head. Eating and not worrying about it.

Something snapped in me after looking at our vacation pictures. It's constant now. I don't know how to hide this from my husband. I don't have any friends here anymore, I don't want to reconnect with my old ones.

I'm so disgusted with myself.

[Discussion] August 15th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 06:49:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ttvq9/august_15th_2017_question_of_the_day/
What do you like best about your body today?

I like this one and I think we could all use the positivity ☺️

[Discussion] What wearable tracker do you use, and what does it do for you?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 06:39:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ttu1p/what_wearable_tracker_do_you_use_and_what_does_it/
I would love to buy some sort of tracker to get a better idea of what I'm burning a day, especially because I fidget a lot, but I have no idea where to start. Do you use one? What kind is it? Does it just track your steps or can it do other things like estimate TDEE more accurately than an online calculator?

Edit: mobile, can't flair, I guess it would be under help or discussion?

[Sticky] Self-care and Beauty Q+A August 15, 2017
Created: Tue Aug 15 06:10:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ttp7p/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_august_15_2017/
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**


Self-care and beauty threads are posted every Tuesday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 15, 2017
Created: Tue Aug 15 06:10:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ttp6o/daily_food_diary_august_15_2017/
This is a daily food diary thread for August 15, 2017.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)

Everything's too much
/u/cuzzlingpunt [5'5 | CW139 | 22.8 | GW128 | UGW121]
Created: Tue Aug 15 06:01:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ttnk2/everythings_too_much/

[Discussion] Trying to look good while tracking my steps πŸƒβ€β™€οΈ
/u/overweightandstress [5'8 | CW: 144 lb | BMI: 21.4 | GW: 127 lb| F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 05:55:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ttmkz/trying_to_look_good_while_tracking_my_steps/
Hi ladies! I have a silver original Apple Watch I got for Christmas a while back but honestly never wear because I find it so ugly hahah, I know a lot of you talk about fitbits and other trackers, so I'm wondering if you have any tips on how to make them more everyday wearable? Do you have any suggestions for affordable/pretty bands I could buy for my Apple Watch? Thank youuu!

I fail at everything, so I clinch to my ED
/u/fLuFFLet0n [163cm | 53kg | 21 BMI | -37kg overall l f]
Created: Tue Aug 15 05:06:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ttf7o/i_fail_at_everything_so_i_clinch_to_my_ed/

[Help] How many calories in glucose tablets?
Created: Tue Aug 15 04:31:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ttah6/how_many_calories_in_glucose_tablets/
Hey I've been super lightheaded lately so I just took two glucose tablets but I don't know how many calories they would be? I know the lucozade ones are 13 each so I've counted as 26 but I just got store brand which aren't flavoured so idk if calories would be lower?

[Help] Don't know where else to go - inbetweenie
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | CW 155 | 25.12 | GW 128 | 22F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 04:18:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tt8w0/dont_know_where_else_to_go_inbetweenie/
I know this is a sub for people not ready for recovery, but this post is about my recovery attempt. I'm just not ready for something like fuckeatingdisorders and I don't have any friends who know in real life.

I've been doing so well. So fucking well. I'm so proud of myself. i've been eating 1900-2100 calories a day and working out and i've lost 3 pounds in a month the right way. I'm so happy. But I'm falling into a huge depression again. i can feel it and I can see it. My room is a mess. There's trash everywhere, I can barely shower sometimes, my acne is ridiculous, etc. An ex who I tried to block (and forgot about with skype) messaged me, demanding closure. and for the first time tonight I have a huge drive to binge eat until I'm in pain, because I feel so worthless, and I feel like I don't deserve the relationship I'm currently in, and I feel like i was unfair to my ex even though every rational part of me knows that isn't true, I don't like where i'm living, I feel very alone, and I always used to handle this by eating until I would want to google when to go to the ER to get your stomach pumped.

The point is, i really don't want to. I just don't know what to tell the voice in my head that keeps screaming at me to be the little piggy i'm supposed to be and to show the world what trash i am by wearing it on the outside. I feel so torn. The part of me that hates myself wants to feel my stomach swelling outwards until it feels like it will literally burst, and wants to scrape up my mouth by chewing too quickly. And then the other part of me is trying to chant mantras like "you are worthy". I just don't want this so much.

I'm sorry if this is the wrong sub, but it's not like i can take this to loseit

has anyone been here before?

[Intro] Manifestation and current Relapse
Created: Tue Aug 15 03:40:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tt47e/manifestation_and_current_relapse/
Hi. I'm not too keen on the formatting here but I just need to get this out. Maybe it'll help me. I've never gone to treatment and there are no support groups near me. I'm also sketched out by hotlines. About me: Male 22, 5'8, 132.9 lbs as of tonight. Something positive: I love fashion design and am always drawing looks

About two summers ago I was living on my own after having left an apartment I shared with my troubled older brother I dote on. The reason I left: my brother had become a raging opiate addict and was stealing my money and skipping out on his rent for about half a year. I realized I was enabling his addiction and managed to secure a room with an elderly woman who in her old age, desperately needed a roommate on top of her daytime aides. Within a week he quit his terrible kitchen job and checked himself into an in-patient program. I was extremely proud of his resolve to live soberly; we lost our father to heroin before I was born and our mother when I was 17 to suboxones, the drug he'd become addicted to (never did heroin, just started suboxone "blues" because his friends did).

In the same month, my bf had left for boot camp with ANG. So I was truly alone for the first time in my life, incredibly poor, and no stranger to ED tendencies. Left to my own devices in that decrepit 19th century house (think odor and bugs, lots of them) I did whatever I wanted. With so little money, it was very easy to get accostumed to fasting, which continued even as my finances improved. I became very obsessive of everything I consumed. On days I didn't eat I'd chug green tea intermittently to avoid a gut, and on days I did eat (350-700kcals) I'd restrict fluids trying to get "cut". I started a disgustingly wasteful habit of biting, chewing and then spitting food into the trash to satiate my cravings. Everyday that summer I'd walk between 5-10 miles before getting home where I'd lift weights. I was so anxious some nights I'd dance/workout/go for runs until the sun rose. When I would eat, I opted for calorically dense, small foods like chocolate or liquid fuel like coffee. Regardless of calories though, if I ate something remotely filling I'd consider purging it and frequently I did.

People noticed. Very unoriginal comments from friends, family, and customers like: Auchwitz victim (fuck that ex-friend), too thin, eat more, can't your mother cook she needs to feed you some macaroni (this one actually bothered me for days). Feeling I deserved a relaxing summer, I saved my money and quit my job. Things took a turn for the worse, I found out my bf had been sleeping around so I started to as well. We weren't mad at first, but my insecurities got the better of me. His personality got really warped as did mine while away at boot camp, and we weren't getting along. I went to the beach and blacked out drinking Kraken+151 then awoke in an ambulance with none of my things or my friends. Completely mortified with my mistake, at that point my goal was to harm myself and I was purging 4-7 times a week. Then we broke up, and I spent about three days re-evaluating my self worth while sustaining myself with green tea, Hershey's and brutal running. By day three I noticed how weak I felt, and an empty/waivering feeling in my chest. That day I decided I wanted to live and reconcile my relationship.

My rehab food plumped brother completed his program, moved into a halfway home and started inviting me to AA meetings with him. I was still poor so I didn't exactly gain weight immediately but my obsessiveness found a new goal in fixing my life. In a week's time I picked up a new job plus an odd job working security at a beach night club. My boyfriend and I forgave eachother and nearly every aspect of my life has improved. We moved in together and have the best dog in the world.

Up until june 26th I've only had 10-12 small slips with my disordered eating. My brother is no longer sober or pudgy but now he goes to a real doctor for his prescription. His attitude and appearance has changed though and he's incredibly disrespectful at times. My oldest brother who's a new father is doing subs without a 'script. On top of that my bf of nearly 8 years is watching his parents begin a separation, so there are definitely some circumstances worrying me as of late.

The day after a work related feast, I met up with my brother. At 142lbs that day, my small gut caught his attention and he slapped my belly.
"You're belly is bigger than mine now!"
I firmly told him he could critique or comment on anything else but my body, because I still struggle with unhealthy behaviors. He denied that I have disordered eating and told me I can't expect people to coddle me. I told him I only expect it from him.

I tried to pretend I was fine, I even let myself go up to 145.2lbs before freaking out and purging (sometimes at work). I've taken up running at much longer distances than I used to, drinking straight alcohol or smoking bud beforehand to dull the aches. 11.5 miles in a night is my peak so far, and some weeks I total at 36+miles. I've only slowly started restricting, managing to weigh 127.8 lbs two weeks ago after fasting. My manager at work might be onto my shenanigans. In the last week I purged at least 3 times. Ultimately 120lbs or less is where I'm trying to get and I'm lying to myself trying to believe I'll still feel healthy when I do but fuck I love my visible bones.

I didn't know where else to go with this but a safe space to talk might help. I'm a mess πŸ˜“

[Discussion] [TRIGGER WARNING : reasons to recover] I kinda can't compute this. I know but i don't know but i know but i don't wanna know
/u/cannibale101 [5'4" | Not happy with this anymore]
Created: Tue Aug 15 03:14:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tt10l/trigger_warning_reasons_to_recover_i_kinda_cant/

I literally cannot lose weight linearly
/u/stickbuggy [6'1.5" | 190lb | 23.5 | -60lb | F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 03:05:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tszvs/i_literally_cannot_lose_weight_linearly/

[Rant/Rave] Was at my GW in May and now I'm miserable
/u/bagofhair666 [Height 5'3" | CW 120 | GW 105 | GenderF]
Created: Tue Aug 15 02:31:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tsvx8/was_at_my_gw_in_may_and_now_im_miserable/
Sorry for the woe-is-me rant to come:

I was at my goal weight, looking cute and feeling cute, and now my weight has crept up until none of my clothes fit and no one would EVER call me thin now. I look *Healthy*. Zaftig even.

I can't believe I let this happen. I went from a 21" waist to 25" as of this morning. It will take me ages to get back to where I was, if I can even get there. I don't want anyone to see me fat again! I loved the attention I got for being thin, either praise or worry. Now people will comment on how I have my appetite back.

Does anyone have advice on accepting weight gain or making sure it's only temporary.

[Rant/Rave] I don't think I'll ever poop normally again (and other thoughts from a 3am bloated bellied me who needs your help)
Created: Tue Aug 15 01:11:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tsmcq/i_dont_think_ill_ever_poop_normally_again_and/
*Scroll to bottom for pertinent info and relating questions I have for you lovely readers.*

Me 4 days ago: I'm going to fast until vacation

Me after one day of the fast: lol jk

I'm not mad at myself for giving up or at least not as mad as I thought I'd be. The last few days have been painfully slow and would've been torturous when starving. But I am upset that I'm so goddamn bloated. I'm not upset that I've overeaten every day since my one day fast and the two days before it. I don't consider it binging.

They told me in IOP that if a deer were in the woods and hadn't eaten in days and saw a bush of berries, it wouldn't just have half the bush for fear of lacking willpower. Extreme hunger isn't something I feel as much guilt for. It's binges when I haven't restricted that truly upset me.

Regardless, though, I've still tried to lax/senna/whoosh my way back down to where I was before this week give or take a pound. It's not working. I have had maybe 4 lil rabbit turds this week and one big satisfying lax induced mess right after I broke my fast. I am so ridiculously bloated.

Among others, my problem is that I will eat any food put in front of me. I feel like this has only gotten worse this relapse and it's fucking me over. I ordered a mini pizza at dinner tonight and wanted to only eat half but kept going to "not be wasteful."

I'm going on vacation today for my birthday (it's on Thursday woo) and I am behind schedule of where I could have been. I want to try to lose weight on my vacation but it seems impossible. I've planned some long bike rides so hopefully I will go through with doing them. Constant eating out and birthday desserts are going to be testing my willpower and I need to remind myself it's okay to be wasteful.

I can't wait for school to start. To be in the land of portion control, meal plans, meal prep, walking everywhere, and therapy. I want to be in a safe happy zone. I am so stressed out by my family.

2 weeks until my appointment with my treatment team and I'm not going to drop all this water weight plus 5 pounds of fat. It's unrealistic but I'm lowering my expectations and hoping they will see this relapse in whatever number I am. At the very fucking least, I need to stay below 98 to be underweight. At the least, I need to be 95 to be what my doctor considered "the lowest she'd accept." I would very much like to be at 93 to have wiggle room. I'd love to be 90 to really worry everyone. I'd be over the fucking moon to be back in the 80s but I might actually start getting in trouble at that weight.

No matter what, I need their concern because my family sucks. I need validation to get back to being better.

>Questions: Best tips for getting this water weight to flow through me? I'm drinking more water but it's just sitting there too. What's a realistic weight goal to have for 2 weeks from now? Like how much of this ~4 pounds is realistically water weight?

>Also, random but I was going to invite my mom to help me move in to my new apartment. We have a bad relationship and I wanted to be nice but she's already stressing me out about the situation (saying she'll hang around all day, making comments about my room being shitty, complaining about gas and time wasted, generally pissing me off) and now I want to uninvite her. I want to put myself first but I don't know if it's the right hill to die on. What would you do?

[Help] Fasting and Diet Pills and Electrolytes, these are a few of my favorite things.
/u/lilmdjd [5'2 | CW: 125 (ugh recovery) | GW: 100| 22F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 00:37:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tsi03/fasting_and_diet_pills_and_electrolytes_these_are/
Sorry to double post, I hope this isn't against any rules. I have a few questions id love input in, and I thought it'd make the most sense to squish them in one post.
I am doing my first fast in a long time, because I'm so desperate for that empty feeling and also weight loss (duh). but anyway, what do folks do in order to avoid bingeing after words? This has always been a challenge for me.
On a not completely unrelated note, how do you make sure your electrolytes aren't fucked up? I can never tell if its blood sugar or electrolytes or whatever but I always used to end up feeling so so awful and shaking and have to break my fast and I'm wondering If there are preventative measures I can take.
Lastly, and I'm sure this has been asked a thousand times, but has anyone tried any diet pills/ supplements that actually work? Im flirting with the idea of picking EC stacks back up but they fucked with my mood immensely and I'm slightly worried about my heart since it got quite weak before I started treatment.

Thank you all so much for being the supportive, incredible people that you are.

[Discussion] If you have a food journal, how do you format it?
/u/tacehtelle [5"6 | 121 | 19.61 :( | 5 lbs :( | Female]
Created: Tue Aug 15 00:25:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tsgi3/if_you_have_a_food_journal_how_do_you_format_it/
I am making one currently but I think its ugly right now and I don't have fun writing in it. Can you guys leave a picture of how your journal looks?

Scared about school
Created: Mon Aug 14 23:57:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tscns/scared_about_school/

[Intro] Well, I'm back
/u/lilmdjd [5'2 | CW: 125 (ugh recovery) | GW: 100| 22F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 23:55:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tscej/well_im_back/
I used to be around a lot, but ended up having medical complications and getting talked into treatment. I discharged about a month and a half ago, after 4 months of PHP treatment. I was forced to 'weight restore' and gained a disgusting amount of weight. I already feel myself relapsing and I feel like the only thing I got out of treatment was the realization that this isn't at all about being thin, I just am severely mentally ill and hate myself a lot. SO thats fun. Recently broke up with the only person I have ever been in love with because he treated me awfully. The point of all this is I missed you all, and I am back in business. Let's play 'how fast can I lose this recovery weight?' Let the shit show begin.

[Thinspo] Waist goals πŸ’•
Created: Mon Aug 14 23:50:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tsbr6/waist_goals/

[Discussion] So is it 100 calories or 130 calories?!
/u/dahee3697 [5'1.5" | CW: 120 | GW: 100 | F | 19]
Created: Mon Aug 14 23:45:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tsb07/so_is_it_100_calories_or_130_calories/
My dad got some popcorn from the store, I went to read the nutrition label and it says 1 bag is 130 unpopped but 100 calories popped. I just would like to know...how is that even possible? *that gif of Oprah asking so what is the truth* I'm just logging 130 to be safe smh

[Rant/Rave] Will the plateau ever end?
Created: Mon Aug 14 22:18:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6trxr6/will_the_plateau_ever_end/

[Other] NSWF: I actually sort of like my body in this picture? I just got laid by a stranger after 4 years of being in a monogamous dead bedroom relationship so maybe that has something to do with it?
Created: Mon Aug 14 22:18:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6trxmg/nswf_i_actually_sort_of_like_my_body_in_this/

[Rant/Rave] I'm freaking out over nothing right now
Created: Mon Aug 14 22:04:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6trvai/im_freaking_out_over_nothing_right_now/

[Rant/Rave] dYsmoRphiA
/u/posyposer [5'4 | 135 | 23.2 | -38 | f]
Created: Mon Aug 14 22:02:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6truv8/dysmorphia/
I'm sitting in my bed sobbing and feeling absolutely fucking psychotic because I'm looking at myself in the mirror and looking at old pictures of myself and I don't see a difference!!!! Even though the scale shows that I've lost so much weight I still feel so fat and I feel like I look so fat!!!!!!!! I want to tell myself it's not true but I can't believe it when I'm looking in the mirror and all I see is fat!!!!!!!!!

[Rant/Rave] post binge thoughts
/u/swagcat9000 [5'5" | 131 lbs | 21.8 | -37 | M |]
Created: Mon Aug 14 21:39:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6trqvy/post_binge_thoughts/
(rant flair please)

okay, so i've been in a binge cycle for two weeks now. first of all, FUCK.

all the guilt is hitting me now. i hate food i never want it in me again. at the same time i fucking love it. i want to go to the cabinets and eat all the peanut butter mixed with rice crispy cereal and then eat all the sweet yogurts and then all the apples.

fuck this is awful. i've gained probably ten pounds. tomorrow i eat 150 calories of vegetables for breakfast/lunch and then i exercise until i cant move.

i hope i can get down to a reasonable weight by the convention.

FUCK, the convention
i'm cosplaying two thin characters and i wont be thin enough.

UGH i want to go out and buy laxatives tomorrow but my little sister is here so ill just drink shitloads of coffee to help (sorry, probs tmi, but this is an ED sub, i feel like we can do that)

poem about binging
/u/swagcat9000 [5'5" | 131 lbs | 21.8 | -37 | M |]
Created: Mon Aug 14 21:29:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6troy5/poem_about_binging/

[Other] starting my first 48 hour fast
/u/bombay- [5'9 | CW 160 | GW1 130 | 23.6 | 16F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 20:50:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6trhnk/starting_my_first_48_hour_fast/

[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo.
Created: Mon Aug 14 20:30:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6trdtu/daily_thinspo/

[Rant/Rave] Remembered I'm a fat fuck
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 20:07:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tr98c/remembered_im_a_fat_fuck/

[Rant/Rave] Hunger is the best spice
/u/awayawaydown [6'0" | 135 | 17.6 | 125 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 19:44:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tr4us/hunger_is_the_best_spice/
The thing I enjoy about high restricting - when I eat, every bite tastes SO GOOD. I take tiny bites so I can savor everything longer.

When I prepare food, I make sure it is tasty and seasoned and has the little bit of fat it needs to bring out the flavor, even though that sacrifices the quantity of food I can eat for the calories I am allowed.

It's true (for me anyway). Hunger is the best spice.

On of those days jfc
/u/rxBootySlayer [6'0| 194.6 | GW 145 | -45.4lbs | 26F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 19:38:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tr3p9/on_of_those_days_jfc/

[Rant/Rave] God I'm useless
Created: Mon Aug 14 19:36:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tr36d/god_im_useless/

[Discussion] DAE have a crazy fear of going bald (or losing teeth)
Created: Mon Aug 14 19:12:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tqylh/dae_have_a_crazy_fear_of_going_bald_or_losing/
I think the main reason i binge is because my anxiety tells me i'm going bald and that i have to eat...for my hair lol

It's so annoying but at least i have pretty small binges that rarely make me gain weight :/ it's still annoying though.

[Rant/Rave] Way too excited for this "relapse"
/u/shortchair [5'6" | 106 lbs | 17.18| -60 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 18:51:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tqu33/way_too_excited_for_this_relapse/
Summer was a disaster. I had very little control over my food. I told myself I would just eat like a normal person but I ended up restricting for 3 weeks, binging and purging for 3 weeks, and then pretty much straight up shoving whatever I wanted in my mouth for the last 3 weeks. By the time I got home I felt enormous and figured I gained 20 pounds. Once the water weight was gone i realized I looked pretty much the same. Β―\_(ツ)_/Β― Anyway, clothes are a teeny bit tighter so I'm back on track with high restriction. Haven't seen a number on the scale for like 3 months but I think I'll stay away from it for now. Life is falling apart even more than usual so this is all I have. Ha Ha. Anyway good to be back hi.

[Humor] So very #relatable
Created: Mon Aug 14 18:35:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tqqzd/so_very_relatable/

[Other] Poem of my life
/u/Xoena [5'4 | CW 131lbs | 22.49 (Stdnd) | GW 120lbs | 20F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 17:26:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tqck6/poem_of_my_life/
I hate myself
Lose weight
Lose weigh
Lose weig
Lose wei
Lose we
Lose w
Binge it all
Gain w
Gain we
Gain wei
Gain weig
Gain weigh
Gain weight
Start all over

[Discussion] Are any of your eating disorders triggered by rejection?
Created: Mon Aug 14 17:14:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tq9yv/are_any_of_your_eating_disorders_triggered_by/
This is my third relapse into anorexia. Two of them came from stress and depression around academic achievement, but the WORST ones have been triggered by specific instances of the fact that I felt undesirable to a romantic or sexual partner. Idk of you guys can share stories or what. I feel like a crazy person right now haha I have had like two pieces of beef jerky over the past two days and am just spiralling into the ✨hungry sads✨ and just want to know I'm not alone


There's always a catch
/u/dobelieveinbear [5'3 | 103 | 18.2 | GW: 90ish | F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 17:11:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tq9bf/theres_always_a_catch/

[Rant/Rave] Want to be helpful but also...
/u/daintydaisydoll [5'1 / CW:108 / BMI: 20.4 / GW: 85]
Created: Mon Aug 14 17:03:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tq7gh/want_to_be_helpful_but_also/
My flat mate (who is by no means overweight) is looking to get in shape. Her knowledge when it comes to weight loss is so misinformed. I want to correct her but I always come out sounding too knowledgeable about weight loss and she doesn't know about the ed. The shitty part is I'm kinda happy her ideas about weight loss are wrong because I want to stay smaller than her without competition. I'm caught between wanting to help an educate even though it might out my disordered eating and keeping my mouth shut so I can win the weight loss competition in my head.

[Other] Can I just talk about some things going on in my life?
/u/TummyRumblz [5'8" | CW: Too Much| LW: 146 | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 16:49:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tq4fe/can_i_just_talk_about_some_things_going_on_in_my/
Nothing serious is happening just wanted to type some things.

I'm moving to Hawaii to live with my aunt in about a month and a half. I'm nowhere near my goal weight but I'm still excited. Sometimes I want to feel good about my body but then I see myself in the mirror and realize I can't. It doesn't really help that my aunt is 50, my height, and an XS. She's shaped like a board and I'm more pear shaped so I probably shouldn't use her as goals but I kinda do anyway. I wonder what it will be like living in a city after living in bumfuck Alabama my whole life.

My Fitbit is on its last leg, I really hope it can last until the end of he month when I get paid. I have the Charge HR now and I'm looking to either get the Charge 2 or the Alta HR, I haven't decided yet.

I'm going to view the eclipse with a friend on the 21st! I'm going to spend the weekend with her and we're gonna get FUCKED THE FUCK UP!!

I forgot everything else I wanted to type because I kept getting distracted. I guess that's the end of my rambling πŸ™‡πŸΎβ€β™€οΈ

[Rant/Rave] My grandma is really annoying sometimes
Created: Mon Aug 14 15:59:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tpsuu/my_grandma_is_really_annoying_sometimes/

[Rant/Rave] it's the shame mostly
/u/percussivesilence [5'7" | CW:180 | HW: 232 | | GW1: 175 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 15:58:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tpsj5/its_the_shame_mostly/
in standing in walmart matching tattoo concealer to my arm because i self harm relapsed. i pick up 3 different ice creams. and i wait in the self checkout line just embarrassed that this is my life. in some nowhere ass town doing nothing having no social life or any measurable achievements

like i get one piece of bad news and this is it? this is how i deal? i'm an adult who never learned a healthy way to cope and now my arms are bruised up for the first time in years because i can't control myself. and nothing is fixed the news is still bad, i still feel like shit and nothing helped

[Other] Tough Day
/u/danimarie82 [5'6" | CW: 185 | GW: 120 | -45lbs | F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 15:51:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tpr3o/tough_day/
I'm fairly new to this subreddit and have mostly just been a lurker, but I had a really bad binge day today and just wanted to get my feelings out there with people who understand the struggle.

As a bit of a background on myself, I have had various disordered eating habits for almost 20 years now (mostly binge eating and restricting). Purging in the traditional sense has never been a part of my routine...I tend to compensate by restricting, fasting, and exercising. I work in a school and as a result have summers off and sometimes that makes controlling the behaviors more difficult, especially on days when I have no other plans. Days like today. I have been logging my calories in MyFitnessPal for over a year now but have never actually held myself accountable by logging the calories from a binge. This afternoon it was 2,500 calories and now I am sitting here feeling uncomfortably full and just overall really mad at myself.

I had plans to really commit to working out this summer, but they were slightly derailed when I had a bad flare-up from an existing back injury. Before the flare-up I was walking 3-4 additional miles after work each night and had started going back to the gym. Physical therapy helps to keep me accountable but that is on hold right now until we get the inflammation and pain under control. I am trying to do as many stretching and light weight exercises as I can at home in the meantime, but it's not enough to counteract the binges.

So if you made it to the end, thanks for reading and giving me a safe space to deal with my thoughts and feelings.

[Help] Does anyone have tips on how to avoid b/p on days off?
/u/TinyTinyCleverCDR [bulimiaayy lmao]
Created: Mon Aug 14 15:47:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tpq21/does_anyone_have_tips_on_how_to_avoid_bp_on_days/
sorry i tried posting this once but the app glitched and ate my text rip

Basically the only way I stop eating is by exercising, which is just another way to obsess over calories lmfao. I know I need to keep busy but food dominates my brain and it's so hard to stick to my goals when I don't have other obligations.

I used to spend my weekends on the treadmill but the base cracked in half :( I walk/run outside after the day cools down, but in the meantime I'm just... alone. With my thoughts. About FOOD.

It feels like there's no escape. I want to do things to distract myself but the thoughts are so overwhelming that it leaves me too tired for friends or hobbies.

Have you guys gone through this? What helped you? What are things you can do to pass the time that don't require much mental energy?

or i guess if nothing helped you we can at least distract each other for a minute πŸ˜‚

[Tip] Does anyone have tips for how to avoid b/p on days off?
Created: Mon Aug 14 15:43:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tppa4/does_anyone_have_tips_for_how_to_avoid_bp_on_days/

[Help] has anybody tried calorie cycling?
Created: Mon Aug 14 15:23:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tpkj4/has_anybody_tried_calorie_cycling/

has anybody tried calorie cycling
Created: Mon Aug 14 15:22:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tpkbe/has_anybody_tried_calorie_cycling/

[Help] Does anyone else have a hard time losing weight?
Created: Mon Aug 14 15:06:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tpgpr/does_anyone_else_have_a_hard_time_losing_weight/

[Rant/Rave] Fucked up things with another guy. Motivation to restrict is back.
Created: Mon Aug 14 13:20:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6toqxl/fucked_up_things_with_another_guy_motivation_to/
I showed up to a date drunk. Who the fuck does that? This guy, apparently. I apologized quite profusely, and he seemed to accept. He hasn't messaged me since, though, so I think he's done. I fucked up things with the last guy I liked over being drunk too.

Oh well. Restriction fuel is restriction fuel.

[Rant/Rave] Something I Really Hate...
Created: Mon Aug 14 13:08:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6too6y/something_i_really_hate/

[Help] has anyone experienced bronkaid side effects?
Created: Mon Aug 14 12:57:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tol57/has_anyone_experienced_bronkaid_side_effects/

[Rant/Rave] When EDs make you happy to be sick.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW 145.0 | UGW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 12:53:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tok95/when_eds_make_you_happy_to_be_sick/
Last night my throat started hurting. A lot. Woke up and it's definitely tonsillitis. My tonsils have bothered me a lot for years, but it still sucks.

However, today is also Day 1 of my 12 week plan I wrote last week. It's 12 week until the Guns n Roses concert and my birthday. I love writing out long plans and all those details.

My first thought being sick? I can do a week-long liquid fast with no one questioning it.

It's been harder to restrict since being home for the summer, but thankfully this will help.

I remember how excited I was to get the stomach flu a few months back. ED brains are weird.

[Rant/Rave] I'm a size 6???
/u/SpitAndPennyStyle [5'2" |SW:185lbs | CW: 144lbs *drinks bleach*| GW:100 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 12:50:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tojlg/im_a_size_6/
Not sure if rant about vanity sizing or raving that I've dropped four dress sizes since late May. Both, I suppose. I'm borderline normal/overweight (135lbs but not updating til I stay under for a week) and yet somehow I'm a single digit size for the first time in my adult life. When I look into the mirror I still look like I did forty to fifty pounds ago so having to keep going back for a smaller and smaller size was baffling to me. That size 6 dress slipped on nicely and zipped up. I couldn't have dreamed of that even just yesterday. I'm sorry if I'm babbling this is just a mind trip for me and I had to share with people who could maybe understand. Thank you for reading <3

[Discussion] What are your daily schedules like?
/u/l0seme [5'7" | CW 132 | BMI 20.67 | -13 | UGW 110 | 21F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 12:27:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6todtc/what_are_your_daily_schedules_like/
Hey! So I'm starting a new job in a few weeks and I'm trying to plan my life lol

My hours are gonna be 9-5, and I want to have an hour of exercising everyday. It would be easiest to exercise in the morning because I have other things (clubs etc) I'm a part of on some evenings but I'm really awful at the whole "morning" thing, and getting up at 6am to go to the gym sounds like basically hell.

So what do you guys do? I'd be super interested to see a breakdown of everyone's days!

[Rant/Rave] I actually wanted to eat this time
/u/squishysponges [18F|5'5"|GW 110]
Created: Mon Aug 14 12:22:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tockn/i_actually_wanted_to_eat_this_time/
My mom can really fuck up my mood sometimes. I was making my boyfriend a Taylor ham, egg and cheese sandwich (Jersey thing) and fucked up the egg cause the yolk broke. So my mom decides to just throw another egg on top of the one I was cooking, fuck it up even more, and just tell me it was fine. Idk why it pissed me off so much but I gave my boyfriend his sandwich and said sorry for fucking the whole thing up. I was gonna make myself one but didn't even want to stay in the kitchen anymore, and totally lost whatever appetite I had.
Now I'm just in the bathroom stupidly crying. I feel like an idiot but I'm also really mad.

[Rant/Rave] So this is recovery...
/u/fLuFFLet0n [163cm | 53kg | 21 BMI | -37kg overall l f]
Created: Mon Aug 14 12:21:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6toc8j/so_this_is_recovery/
I stop purging by vomiting every few weeks in an attempt to 'recover'. I become very proud of myself each time.

But I still think about food all day, how I eat it, how I want it. Walking up and down in the kitchen like an addict.
I plan my restriction when I binged. Counting every calorie.

But hey, I didn't vomit.
Not yet.
Relapse is coming soon, as always. At least when I see my weight is going up.

I have no idea how to stop.

[Discussion] "If I'm not eating disordered then I can't enjoy/like/do _______"
Created: Mon Aug 14 11:41:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6to24c/if_im_not_eating_disordered_then_i_cant/

[Rant/Rave] Fuck clothes shops
/u/fiyacht524 [5'6" | 54kg | Female]
Created: Mon Aug 14 11:33:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6to01b/fuck_clothes_shops/
On mobile please flair as rant thanks xx
Okay so I was in this shop (Only) and I'm thinking I need new black jeans cos mine are super faded and there's a sale on plus I've lost some weight so why not. I'm not even that big right now, I'm at 54kg. So I thought, why not try in these gorgeous looking soft black high waisted jeans. After rooting through the pile finally found a size small for my leg length (30") and went into the changing room.
WELL I COULDNT EVEN GET THEM ON. I don't know if I've put on weight or if the sizing is fucked up but it completely ruined my day and my BF was with me and kept asking why I didn't buy them which was humiliating AF. Sorry this was just really upsetting and set me back so yay here's to a week of hardcore restricting until friday !!!!!

[Rant/Rave] Told my bf my UGW and he didn't like it, and also my friend accidentally made me cry
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 200 lb | GW: 120 lb | F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 11:23:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tnxe0/told_my_bf_my_ugw_and_he_didnt_like_it_and_also/
I'm not really sure why I even told him, I knew he wouldn't- I guess because it isn't technically underweight he'd be okay with it. I told him I wanted to be 110, and he said I should not consider anything under 130. He said my frame is too big for 110, and that he wanted me to be curvy anyway :(

I dunno, it bummed me out- I've always thought my ribs are too wide or my shoulders too broad to really be tine, and I guess I was right. It's a bummer because I remember him telling me he liked tiny girls like 2 years before we started dating. He says he wants me to be curvy, but I feel like it's just because I don't have the potential to really be small.

2nd mini sadsack rant:

I was also talking to my friend the other day, and I was telling him about new halo top flavors (<3) and he said I needed to train with dairy queen (wtf) and I'm like, no nice try, and he says that I appreciate food. And I say, yeah why do you think I'm fat, and then he says, it's so fun eating with you. And he just keeps going on about who's gonna bake cake and make burgers with him, and I just got really upset and was like, "jesus christ dude, what are you doing to me." Then he asks if I'm mad at him or something, and I'm like no, just read the room, damn. And this was all over text, so he's like, we're not in the same room.

Like, what the hell? He knows I'm trying not to be a fat fuck and he just has to dangle the carrot anyway. Like I know he's kind of an idiot, but seriously?

I love food so much- I love cooking and baking, and trying new things, my family is italian for christ sake, and my parents met at the culinary institute of america. It's so important to me and my family, and it represents so much to me. And now I feel like I have to break up with my best friend to not feel like absolute shit about myself every day. And that's what made me cry.

This is kind of a mess, thanks for listening everyone, you guys are the best <3

[Rant/Rave] Why am I a failure?
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Mon Aug 14 11:21:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tnwty/why_am_i_a_failure/
On mobile flair as rant rave

I was supposed to go to the gym this morning but convinced myself I needed to sleep and do laundry instead. This is going to weigh heavily on my mind all day. If I don't work out I feel like I let myself down.

I managed to work out my binging from last week in two or three days of really long straineous gym days. It's a new week and I am not starting it off at a deficit.

I want to hurt for my failure. I still have food in my house I can eat but it's not worth it. I can't be bloated for my tattoo on Thursday. (See earlier post). Food isn't worth it. It's hard to even justify a cup of black coffee or a sugar free popsicle (5 or so calories for coffee or 15 for a popsicle.) I need to be at a 1000 calorie deficit to get to my goal and maybe even more to make up for fucking up most of this month.

I am close to my lowest weight in 3 years and I still feel like a failure.

I also weigh less than my younger athletic brother and still feel like a failure because he has more muscle and is still leaner and skinnier.

I feel bad because my friend who started at my work as a dishwasher still hasn't gotten his first pay check or any tips and is living on one meal from work plus whatever i make him. I tell myself he needs food more than I do. His twin brother and him weigh less than me but have worse body composition. They both have protruding bloated stomachs. They look like fat frogs with their skinny arms and legs and old guy ponches.

I hate myself. I have two days left of work. Two days off then another busy day of work. The one thing I am looking foreword to is my tattoo and if I binge before my appointment I may just cancel and lose my deposit because wouldn't feel deserving of it and would be too ashamed of my artist seeing my bloated torso.

I just feel so low right now.


[Help] I can't tell if I'm making a rational decision
Created: Mon Aug 14 11:13:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tnucg/i_cant_tell_if_im_making_a_rational_decision/
I regained the 15 pounds I lost this past year, and I came back from vacation yesterday thinking that this is it, I'm back on track. I want to do keto but I can't tell if that's actually a good idea or if it's going to turn into another diet phase that ends in me ruining it and wasting another few months not losing any weight, and I should just do CICO from the start... I know for a fact CICO works but my brain always wants to have a "diet". Last month it was being vegan. Guess how that went when I spent the last week eating carne asada fries. Anyways, I don't know what I'm looking for by posting this here but I don't have anyone else to talk to about it.

Forgot to add, I did keto a few years ago and didn't lose any weight. Idk why I think this time will be different

[Rant/Rave] Days I spend with my family are the worst.
/u/littledutchbird [5'8" | 150 lbs | BMI 22.5 | 35 lbs | Female]
Created: Mon Aug 14 11:01:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tnrnr/days_i_spend_with_my_family_are_the_worst/
I still live at home but my job, my boyfriend, and my friends are in a different city. So I commute and spend most of my time away from home. But on the few days I do stay home, there is so much damn good in that house. Junk food, baked goods etc... My willpower is so shit and now I hate myself after spending the whole weekend there.

[Discussion] Attempting maintenance soon; for people that are maintaining, what do you eat in a day?
/u/hbastion [5'2 | 18.66/19.33 | GW: 18.29/18.95 | 20F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 10:54:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tnpz5/attempting_maintenance_soon_for_people_that_are/
I'm not entirely sure what my current weight is because I'm retaining water (and I uh.. haven't been consuming enough fiber lately..) but I know I'm very close to my current GW, if I haven't already reached it yet.

Maintenance sounds impossible to me. Any planned higher-cal days I've attempted in the past year or so have just resulted in either a binge day or even worse, a binge *cycle*. But, I can't keep continuing at this intake or I'll just lose more and more weight and that isn't appropriate for me at this time given my current living situation.

So, in a couple weeks (or even days) once I find out my true weight and/or hit my GW, I'll be needing to raise my cals from 600-800 to 1300-1400.

For people that have been maintaining, what is your current daily meal plan? How easy or difficult are you finding maintenance in general?

[Help] questions about bronkaid
Created: Mon Aug 14 10:51:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tnpdm/questions_about_bronkaid/

[Rant/Rave] I remember why I never used to weigh myself every day
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1.5" | cw 159 | gw 145 | -11]
Created: Mon Aug 14 10:09:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tnf0e/i_remember_why_i_never_used_to_weigh_myself_every/
I can't help it right now and it's driving me crazy the way the numbers NEVER MAKE ANY SENSE. If I could bring it back down to once a week or so, I'd see consistent weight loss. But instead I fast for 2 days and weigh and see no change, then eat "normally" and dread weighing and lose 1/2 lb. I'm starting to feel like fasting isn't helping even though I know it makes no sense because of these confusing numbers and ahhhhh

[Rant/Rave] tfw you binge but end up lighter
/u/sewnp [5'6"/CW:161/UGW:99/NB]
Created: Mon Aug 14 09:58:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tncc1/tfw_you_binge_but_end_up_lighter/
I had a really hard day at work yesterday and ended up drinking/eating my feelings around ~1600 calories. Which, in retrospect isn't considered a lot to people outside this community?? But when you're like me and can't eat over 500 without feeling guilty then it's a fuckton.

Anyways, I was even more depressed after I woke up from my drunk nap and wasn't feeling too keen on weighing myself then bc of shame. Now, this morning I sucked it up to see what damage I had caused and how heavy my body was from all the garbage I consumed, but surprise surprise!! I was the same weight!!!!

I'm so happy and relieved I feel like I can actually live with myself a little more now :')

Ok that's all, thank you for listening and stuff. πŸ’•

[Rant/Rave] Binge Spectating [RAN]
/u/FastPhoria [5'10 | 126 | 18.1 / 17.6 | GW: 119 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 09:49:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tna5z/binge_spectating_ran/
Set the scene: I am working in the SILENT study area of my university library today, as my office is being de-mothed (hahah). There is a strict no-eating / no-drinking policy except in designated areas (i.e. far away). I am also fasting today.

Plot twist: A really fat girl has come and sat opposite me, and I have just watched her work her way through two bags of crisps. Slowly. Torturously. She's now on a Mars bar. There's a sandwich and an apple lined up. And a coke.


I swear is about to become


Honestly, it is driving me up the wall. I want to scream at her about how disgusting she is being forcing someone to listen to her eat for almost an hour. Not to mention that it's not allowed and just REPULSIVE AND WRONG IN EVERY WAY. I can't even move desks because my computer is running a long simulation.


[Help] Question about EC stacks
Created: Mon Aug 14 09:15:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tn24c/question_about_ec_stacks/

[Rant/Rave] My new scale is so friendly!
/u/fLuFFLet0n [163cm | 53kg | 21 BMI | -37kg overall l f]
Created: Mon Aug 14 08:58:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tmy4i/my_new_scale_is_so_friendly/
It made me 3 kilos lighter. I have no idea if I should rave or have a little panic attack because I am so confused now lol!

[Discussion] Why do people with eating disorders seem so disproportionately female?
Created: Mon Aug 14 07:49:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tmino/why_do_people_with_eating_disorders_seem_so/

[Thinspo] Legs Thinspiration 8.14
Created: Mon Aug 14 07:36:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tmfy1/legs_thinspiration_814/

[Humor] You have no idea babe
/u/thefreckledfox_ [5'8" | 176.2lbs | 26.50 | -42.8lbs | F | GW: dainty]
Created: Mon Aug 14 07:23:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tmd38/you_have_no_idea_babe/
Last night for dinner my SO and I made salads (thank god) and I was chatting about how much I love Bolthouse Farms dressing because they're actually low-cal AND delicious. All of a sudden my bf stops, looks at me, and says "Do you know how many calories are in *everying??*

I just laughed really hard and was like "omg no that would be ridiculous I just have a general idea" but in my head I was like 2 cups of romaine (15), one hardboiled egg (70), two T dressing (45), etc etc..... πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

[Thinspo] More B&W thinspo because Β―\_(ツ)_/Β―
Created: Mon Aug 14 07:09:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tma7u/more_bw_thinspo_because_ツ/

[Rant/Rave] I can't stop the vicious cycle.
/u/SkinnyWaifu [5'3 | fat | WL: -17.4 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 07:01:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tm8n2/i_cant_stop_the_vicious_cycle/
Last March - May I lost 23 lbs. What motivated me to do that is I had a cosplay planned for an event (D.va from Overwatch) and I refused to look like a fat blob in it. I didn't lose as much as I wanted, but for less than 3 months I thought the progress was great. I stopped drinking (I'm an alcoholic :c ) which lead to me eating FAR less than I normally would. I told myself, at the event I could eat whatever I wanted, because, of course, I earned it! Right? No. I gave up after that. I didn't have a reason to be skinny anymore. Depression hit an all time low and I started binge drinking/eating every. single. day. I wish I could find a middle ground so bad. It's either I eat until I'm sick or I hardly eat at all. Now that I have another event NEXT MONTH (I didn't realize it was coming up so fast ugh).. I'm finding myself going back into the starvation cycle. I don't know what to do. I'm sick of not being able to eat healthy and either eat until I'm about to explode or starve until my stomach feels like it's going to cave in. Thank you for reading~

Gained 15lbs. I'm motivated.
Created: Mon Aug 14 07:00:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tm8el/gained_15lbs_im_motivated/

[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! August 14, 2017
Created: Mon Aug 14 06:14:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tm07p/weekly_stats_update_august_14_2017/
This is the weekly status thread for August 14, 2017.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:


Status threads are posted every Monday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 14, 2017
Created: Mon Aug 14 06:14:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tm06n/daily_food_diary_august_14_2017/
This is a daily food diary thread for August 14, 2017.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)

[Rant/Rave] Honestly tho fuck my supermarket
/u/janesavage [170 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 18F ]
Created: Mon Aug 14 06:11:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tlzs9/honestly_tho_fuck_my_supermarket/
Finally got a coupon for Halo Top a few days ago, used today for Vanilla Bean and Birthday Cake bc my supermarket has crap selection. At check-out got another coupon. Atm HT is additionally on sale (never has been). Which *would* be a dream come true.
...It's like they *know* I'm leaving for Germany in two days.

[Help] does losing weight help get rid of cellulite?
/u/avakadava [5'6.5" | 137 | 21.8 | -17]
Created: Mon Aug 14 06:11:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tlzom/does_losing_weight_help_get_rid_of_cellulite/

[Discussion] August 14th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 06:08:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tlz9a/august_14th_2017_question_of_the_day/
Did you complete your to-do list for the day?

(Maybe morning/mid-day comments could be the list, then give an update later?)

[Discussion] Anyone else watch calorie challenges?
/u/newtoskate [5'8| CW:128.9lbs | BMI:19.6 | 3rd Relapse: 5lbs | F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 05:38:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tlu0x/anyone_else_watch_calorie_challenges/
like the 10,000,20,000,30,000 calorie challenges?
I watch them when restricting I don't know why XD

[Rant/Rave] Weekends are the worst.
Created: Mon Aug 14 05:21:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tlrdi/weekends_are_the_worst/
All week at work I do really well and basically fast for five days apart from energy drinks for electrolytes (9 calories), supplements and chicken broth (14 calories a cup). I feel Light and dainty, my stomach feels flat and I feel in control. Then the weekend comes and I binge and order pizza, ice cream, chips and stuff myself silly and usually end up crying about how fat and disgusting I am. Then Monday comes and yep I'm fasting again and feel great. Why do I do this!?! Imagine how thin I would be if I fasted all the time.

My mind literally switches between 'you're not too fat, treat yourself!!' To 'you are massive and disgusting just stop eating'.

Just a rant. Sorry.

[Rant/Rave] Lying awake at night consumed by my thoughts...
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Mon Aug 14 05:12:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tlpz6/lying_awake_at_night_consumed_by_my_thoughts/
On mobile flair as rant rave

I an get a tattoo in my chest on Thursday afternoon and it is the one thing I actually feel content and happy about. I love tattoos and body art and modification because it's allowed me to offset my insecurity for my body. Growing up I was overweight and never imagined having tattoos and here I am going on number 13 or 14 on my chest no less.

My main motive is to keep an empty and flat stomach and chest until it's done even though this main in turn make things more painful. Body checking, I realize the area where I plan to be tattooed has little fat and is pretty much skin on top of bone. I have reasonable pain tolerance though I feel this may be the most painful yet. I fear the pain but look foreword to the thrill and release that comes from it.

I will fast and work out every morning until the day of and it will be my punishment and my reward. I deserve the pleasure and the pain for allowing my body to get so bad. I weighed myself to see if I worked off my binges from last week and I am back to pre-binge weight though I still find this unsatisfactory. Crunching my numbers my goal eight is still 10 to 12 weeks out with my strict and intense regimine.

Not soon enough. Maybe my new piece of are will give me more accountability to stay on track. I intend to push myself to the edge to make my goals in time. My life is on standstill til I meet my goals.

I will kill this fat and hallow shell and be reborn from my burned ashes, beautiful outside and still dead on the inside but at least with a more pleasing and fitting image to my mind.


[Humor] 'Body Acceptance' Campaign
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 04:53:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tln72/body_acceptance_campaign/
Imagine if we had entire campaigns dedicated to 'accepting our bodies' and all the little 'quirks' that come with my ED.

How would you design it?

Thinspo women and then a catchy phrase like 'the cheapest date you'll ever have!'??

What could be causing this?
Created: Mon Aug 14 04:19:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tlilo/what_could_be_causing_this/

[Rant/Rave] I don't feel like I am worth anything. I don't feel loveable.
/u/thinthinner-thinnest [183cm | 58.9kg | BMI (standard): 17.59 | 22F 🌱]
Created: Mon Aug 14 03:19:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tlap9/i_dont_feel_like_i_am_worth_anything_i_dont_feel/
This isn't really ED related, but it is at the same time. Because everything is ED related in my life so yep.

My thoughts are a huge disconnected jumble and I don't know how to put all the pieces together into a coherent paragraph so I'll just write one liners in no particular order. Don't feel obligated to read past this. It's all bullshit anyway.

I have this stupid dumb fucking lame ass crush on a guy who is in a relationship.

They aren't happy together but that doesn't matter.

I haven't dated anyone since 2014.

I thought I was gay until earlier this year when I realised I am attracted to specific people, not specific genders.

I can't stop bingeing and purging every single day.

I have gained weight and my flair is inaccurate.

I do too much weird disordered shit for anyone to find me attractive.

The shit I hide is too dark and heavy to share with another human again.

He was in my dream last night.

I am petrified of being vulnerable because it means you can get hurt.

I am scared of everything.

I feel stagnated in life.

I always want a connection with people who are unavailable in some way.

Sometimes I just I want a hug so badly I think I might explode.

I can't do anything properly.

My body is disgusting.

My thoughts are disgusting.

I am selfish.

No one should have to put up with my bullshit.

Sorry πŸ€•

[Rant/Rave] My friend is an expert
/u/zxcvsdfh [170cm | 23M]
Created: Mon Aug 14 01:24:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tkvz9/my_friend_is_an_expert/
Does anyone else have that friend who thinks they know everything about this or that? I'm sure you do.

I have this one friend who only decided to go to the gym recently because he was "bored" and keeps telling me to go to the gym. He's constantly talking to me about what he does at the gym and how he hates his protein shakes but drinks them anyway because he wants to get ripped. Then he goes into detail about his plan to get ripped by eating five meals a day, "bulking up" and other such strategies. He's become an overnight professor on the subject.

It's like... you only started a couple of weeks ago, fell off the treadmill *twice*, and injured yourself and now you're giving me health and fitness advice, telling me how easy it is to just get up and exercise.

I know he means well (or at least I hope) and maybe he's just sharing but I can't help but feel irritated because he basically comes across like he thinks he can write a thesis on this. It's almost as if he's rubbing it in my face.

[Help] Vacation soon
/u/squishysponges [18F|5'5"|GW 110]
Created: Mon Aug 14 01:21:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tkvjo/vacation_soon/

[Rant/Rave] I feel like my ED gave up on me
Created: Mon Aug 14 01:00:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tksln/i_feel_like_my_ed_gave_up_on_me/
Where did the loud voice in my head screaming at me to not eat go? Why has she abandoned me like so many others have? She was so comforting and protective. Now it's like I'm all alone. I have nearly zero impulse control when it comes to eating in private. Somehow I manage to watch what I eat around others, but when I'm alone it's like my brain switches off and my emotions take over. If I'm upset, I'll eat. If I'm sad, I'll eat. The only time I seem to not think about food is when I am feeling good, and that's pretty rare at this point. I know I should embrace my body and self-love and all that, but it's so fucking hard when I look at myself. I could stare at every single inch and little detail about my body and still feel disgust. All the weight I lost while she was in my head with me is back and it's definitely noticeable. I just miss her. I miss a lot about my life at the start of 2017.

[Intro] Hi
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 118 | GW: 110 | Male]
Created: Mon Aug 14 00:47:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tkqx1/hi/
My names Justin, I'm a 15 year old boy from California. I've been lurking for a couple days now. I've been actively trying to lose weight for about a month but I think I've had an eating disorder for a while. I've always been pretty weird about food, I think I got it from my grandma; I'll go really long without food because I don't want to choose what I'm going to eat and when I do eat it's usually because my grandma yelled at me long enough. I'm really bad at introductions, sorry

[Goal] I feel really happy, kinda proud of myself and I wanted to share
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 00:13:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tkm2d/i_feel_really_happy_kinda_proud_of_myself_and_i/
6 weeks ago I hit my lowest weight in 12 years. Something triggered a binge and I gained 13 lb--and ended up at my brightest weight in 2 years. I was crushed. Long story short after like 50 mental attempts to start a protein fast (it's eat as little as possible except for 60g of protein per day, which makes your body just burn fat) I FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY did it and even though I didn't fast as strictly as I had planned, I still did super well and I lost 7 lb. I know not all of what I gained or lost was fat, but I'm now hovering at a weight that I'm not happy with but I don't hate myself at. And I broke the fast this weekend because I went out and did social stuff and GUYS I DIDNT GO CRAZY AND BINGE!!!!!!! I had some junk food but I just ate a normal amount. I was able to stop before I started feeling grossly full. And I had sweet potato fries and cider and peach cobbler that I baked (I had a *normal person portion* despite it being the thing that broke my fast and despite the fact that I was picking at it in the dish) and wine today and cake and I had pizza and flatbread for lunch. Oh hello let's go back to this for a minute though--I HAD WINE AND I DIDNT OVEREAT MUCH. I ate a little too much cake earlier but normally that would trigger a binge and I would eat until I'm sick. But this time I actually didn't keep eating and I let time pass and I digested everything and just ate a normal healthy amount of this stuffed chicken and broccoli thing from Costco for dinner. I'm in bed and my brain is going apeshit for food.

I feel ok. I feel so normal right now that I'm not even mad that I broke my fast--this has never ever ever happened. I've always been furious at myself for something like this but I did so well today without even really trying that I'm happy that I got to experience this. I'm crying a little right now. I'm going to go back to my fast after tomorrow (too busy at work and I need to not add to my stress with restricting) but I'm just so happy

[Rant/Rave] I abandoned the Binge food...
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Aug 13 23:48:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tkie6/i_abandoned_the_binge_food/
On mobile flair as rant rave

As it always happens the end of my shift gave way to cravings and like I do being a cook I acted on my cravings but not completely..

Back track to Monday of this past week. I binged on my lunch break. I never eat on my breaks this time I spent 20 bucks at the store buying vegan brownies and a few vegan deli sandwiches. I ate the brownies and then the warehouse. 5hem at work I ate some extra tater tots that were lying around.

On Tuesday I binged again this time on a vegan Philly sandwich and a biscuit with gravy. In front of my friend at his house afte4 work. I told myself id go to the gym on my days off to offset the binging. I never made it to the gym.

On my days off i continued the binging to the tune of 4k on Wednesday and 2k on Thursday. Friday at work I fasted. the last two days I've spent collectively 12 hours at the gym working out to off set the binging.

I added everything up and with conservative estimates from work for calories burning standing on my feet and being at the gym yesterday I broke even and today put me 2k to 3k under according to lose it.

I have my lose it app set to 0 calories allotted for the day so a deficit is greater if I am in the negative.

Back to present time. At work I made a waffle with chopped strawberries. Spices banana, blueberries, and a good helping of vegan whipped cream. I also claimed an extra vegan big Mac, three biscuits with two sides of gravy.

I put them in a paper bag and walked out the door knowing if they made it hom3 I would consume them. I told myself to eat anything in the bat would be a sin and I would have to strike.

My motive for abandoning the food came from an unlikely place. Two days prior I put a cash deposit on a tattoo I have been wanting to get for a year. the chosen location in a place that would only look good if I lost weight. On my chest.

I supposed to get inked on Thursday afternoon and I don't want my artist to be looming over my bloated fat stomach so I feel completed to fast.

I feel accomplished having fucked up priorities but I avoided a binge so I feel thankful for that. I am on fast day three and tomorrow my lose it week starts over. I plan to weigh myself on Wednesday after I suspect my bloating has gone down and I will look to my tattoo sketch for unlikely thinspo.

Thank you to anyone who read this. You are all lovely and beautiful.


[Discussion] DEA have random bouts of depression
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 23:45:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tkhwc/dea_have_random_bouts_of_depression/
It just comes on so suddenly. I'm fine and then it's just this warm sticky black sludge that I'm stuck in. The more I struggle the more stuck in it I am.

I get so sluggish and everything seems to stupid and pointless. I'm worthless and of course everyone hates me. How could they not hate me.

And then just as suddenly it's gone. I don't even know how it came about and I feel ridiculous for feeling that way.

TL:DR I almost ate a giant chocolate muffin to feel better and thankfully regained my shit and am happy knowing I've only eaten a sandwich today.

[Rant/Rave] Restart
Created: Sun Aug 13 23:22:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tkebz/restart/

[Discussion] Does anyone else get upset when they see someone skinnier than them
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 118 | GW: 110 | Male]
Created: Sun Aug 13 23:17:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tkdlv/does_anyone_else_get_upset_when_they_see_someone/
Whenever I see a girl (though there are some guys) with a lower BMI than me I get insanely jealous and feel like I need to lose weight to be skinnier than them, does anyone else feel this way?

[Rant/Rave] I've returned (with a new username)
Created: Sun Aug 13 23:14:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tkd5r/ive_returned_with_a_new_username/
I used to be around here often through the worst of my ED but over the last few months I've been in such a bad situation that I switched right to binge eating. I've gained 70-80 lbs back and I'm very very upset with everything. Every time I try to go back to not eating my boyfriend forces me to eat. I am very unhealthy now, my highest weight. I don't know what to do, please somebody give me strength not to die if I can't lose weight because I hate my body so much right now.

Currently thinking of some ways to resist temptation tomorrow and excuses not to eat. I could very easily stay in bed all day and say I don't feel good. Knowing me I'll just go into a binge anyways.

Edit: if I do intermittent fasting (like all breakfast and lunch) and then when forced to eat I choose something from the keto diet would that be okay for losing weight? Since fasting is technically keto as well. It wouldn't be a lot, just enough to make people happy.

[Rant/Rave] it's my birthday today
/u/kat-official [5'5" | CW: 149.7 lbs | UGW: 100 lbs | -25 lbs | 16F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 22:46:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tk8se/its_my_birthday_today/
this is just a nonsense rant. haven't posted here in a while hi.

today is my 16th but most of my friends ignored my texts and i'm about 99% sure my boyfriend is cheating on me, so i binged like a fatass and cried. i must have eaten over 3000 calories today. i hate myself so much. that after a straight week of doing so well on 500 a day. one of my best friends texted asking how i was and when i told her i wanted to die she started talking about the roadtrip she's on. the only good thing about today is that until i thought i heard the tinder ringtone after he was asleep, i actually had a really good time with my boyfriend. and also i got a shark onesie from my mom. it fits right but also if i gain like 50 pounds it'll still fit me. which is a nice way for a onesie to be i guess

How many instagram followers do you have?
/u/BlackHairedBloodElf [❀ 5' 2" πŸ’› CW: 97.6 πŸ’š GW: 99 πŸ’™ 17.9 πŸ’œ F ❀]
Created: Sun Aug 13 22:26:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tk5jj/how_many_instagram_followers_do_you_have/

[Rant/Rave] when your binge food barely qualifies as food
/u/JackSkeletal [5'7" | Male]
Created: Sun Aug 13 21:58:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tk0p0/when_your_binge_food_barely_qualifies_as_food/
Carefully planned out okonomiyaki, vegan "pork" tacos, and curried sweet potatoes this week in a last-ditch effort to eat like a normal person.

Instead I ate 52 plain tortillas in three days. I know this because I looked at the package.

At a party yesterday I drank a 2L of Diet Coke, well aware that Diet Coke gives me the shits. And lo, I had the shits at a party, and it was not dignified.

Today my microwave broke. I ate an entire box of brown sugar instant oatmeal barely soaked in cold water. Raw oatmeal mush. With a side of garlic dill pickles.

With my carefully-planned meal ingredients sitting in the cabinet looking at me.

What the fuck, me. I don't know what I'm doing. I've given up trying to restrict. I'm sure as hell not enjoying any of this. Right now I'm just trying to minimize the damage.

Please tag rant/rave.

[Rant/Rave] Having to eat to take meds, and I would honestly rather die.
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 21:19:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tjtm7/having_to_eat_to_take_meds_and_i_would_honestly/
So I had a terrible day and wound up being diagnosed with a UTI and having my cornea scratched so badly by fibreglass I wound up needing an emergency consult on a Sunday night. Now I'm on two different antibiotics and a steroid. Taking them while fasting has been *horrific* so far. There's no way I'll be able to take these pills and keep them down without eating real-sized meals at least twice a day.

And I honestly am considering just saying "fuck it," stopping the pills, and praying that everything either clears up on its own or I die quickly, because I physically cannot make myself eat two meals every day for a week. I don't understand how people do this *three times every day*, when I struggle to even do it once.

[Other] Tongue bumps?
/u/onlysaysNOO [5'3 | CW 93| BMI 16.94 |F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 21:18:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tjtas/tongue_bumps/
I don't really purge but I restrict really low, and recently I've noticed that I've started getting like, the bumps on my tongue are enlarged. It happens from time to time, nbd. I bit them off like I usually do so that it heals. But now I've noticed there's a bump on the underside of my tongue. Is this stuff ED related? I haven't been like sleeping around or anything that would make it be like herpes or whatever. I've also never gotten cold sores or canker sores before in my life.
Does anyone ever get things like this?

[Rant/Rave] friend won't shut up about her eating habits
Created: Sun Aug 13 20:44:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tjmxt/friend_wont_shut_up_about_her_eating_habits/
she's been saying how she's so stressed she hasn't been eating lately and how she's happy she's getting slimmer and it's so triggering ? a part of me is worried because i care about her a lot but most of me just thinks she's rubbing it in my face without caring if she's triggering me.

sorry. just felt like ranting about that.

[Other] I found a journal from when I was 15 :(
/u/northdakotanowhere [5'7 | CW:125 | BMI:19.5 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 20:07:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tjg1n/i_found_a_journal_from_when_i_was_15/
I was going back in some old journals to see when my problems all began. I want to give 15 year old me a big hug. I feel so bad for her.

"I'm afraid I'm going to go through life never loving myself or the way I look"

"I just didn't eat for awhile and I did obsess over every fucking thing that went in my body, but I have the ability to stop myself. Nobody would ever look at me and say I was anorexic"

"I know it's [not eating] bad, and I know there are horrible consequences but I still continue doing it"

"I'm so scared, worried, lonely, anxious, sad, happy, confused. I have times when I come to terms with my life, death, and the decisions I've made. But as of now that isn't the case. Right now I just want to be consoled and reassured. I want someone to tell me that I'll amount to something and that I'm not wasting my life."

"I want to be able to talk to my mom"

Poor little Magpie.

[Intro] Long time lurker.
/u/littlebabychicken [5' 5" | CW: 121.6 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 19:57:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tje3z/long_time_lurker/
Hey there.
I've been lurking here on my main for a few weeks and decided to make an alt account so I can introduce myself.

TL;DR: Late 20's. Restricted heavily from 19 to 21, dropped from 130 to 93 lbs.
Couldn't maintain it and ballooned up to 145.
Slowly went back to eating normally and lost 15 lbs.
Recently started a new medication that curbed my appetite and lost 10 pounds and am slipping back into old (and new) habits.

I've always had self confidence and body images issues, and still do to this day (obvs, lol). To cover up what I felt was an ugly body, I wore baggy pants and shirts during my time in school. Additionally, I was terribly shy and socially awkward so I didn't have many friends.
I remember one day, when I was in 7th grade, I was talking to my mom about how I was tired of being made fun for the clothes I wore.

Her response: "Well maybe if you lost a little weight you could... y'know... wear the clothes the popular girls wear".

At the time I was well within the healthy weight range for my age/height. My Mom always has been and always will be obese.

I initially shrugged the comment off.
Around 17 years old I decided I wanted to "be healthy".
It started off with things like replacing soda with water and trying to cut/reduce fatty/sugary foods. Progress was slow but I was happy to see results (because pretty girls are skinny, right Mom?).
When I started college things took a turn for the worse.

I was totally stressed out from the sudden change from HS to college, and all of my friends had moved away so I was all alone and terribly depressed. I felt like I had absolutely no control over my life with the exception of one thing: my weight.

At the worst of it, I was eating less than 500 calories a day and running for 3+ hours every single day on the treadmill. Since it was an old and shitty treadmill, it frequently broke, and when it did I would have a nuclear meltdown. Screaming, crying, panic attacks, etc.

My parents saw my drastic drop in weight and frequently picked fights with me about it.

"Why won't you eat!?"

"You're too skinny!!"


Eventually I "cracked" and went on a year long binge fest and gained everything back and then some.

Over the years I lost the extra weight and returned to 130 lbs.

Back in October, however, I was hospitalized for sever anxiety and suicidal ideations. The new SSRI they put me on curbed my appetite and I lost approximately 10 pounds. Shortly after my stay at the hospital, I decided to leave my career as a Pastry Chef and go back to school as I realized the hospitality industry was severely detrimental to my mental health and stability.

I'm much happier since I left, but the fact that I'm essentially back at square one has left me feeling very frustrated and I have started to slip back into old habits.
I've sloooowly been upping my restriction since March, have been working out like crazy and, more recently, have started to purge and keep a food log.

I know the risks and effects these actions can have on my health, but I just don't fucking care.

I miss seeing my rib cage, all of the vertebrae in my spine, and my huge thigh gap.

I miss going into a clothing store and being able to try on anything.

**I miss the sense of control I had all those years ago.**

Last month I brought up the possibility of stopping my meds because I felt pretty good at the time (and because I have no libido, which has had a negative impact on my BF and I), but now I'm not so sure because I'm afraid I'll gain weight.

I'm sorry for writing so much. This has been stewing in my head for close to 15 years and, tbh, it feels kinda good to let it out.

[Rant/Rave] People believe me when I lie about my weight?
/u/Pugslyaddams [5'7"|122lbs- GW 110lbs | 19.04 (new), 19.11 (old) | -30| 20F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 19:53:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tjdhy/people_believe_me_when_i_lie_about_my_weight/
New here, have lurked for a long time but joined because I'm frustrated.

I am at 122lbs right now, but told my weight obsessed parents I was maintaining at 131. The problem is, they actually believe me! I know this is what I wanted but how do they believe me???

Also body dysmorphia makes me feel like there's no difference in how I look now and at 152lbs.

Anyone else have NO IDEA how they actually look?

Sorry for bad English it's not my mother-tongue.

Also if a mod could flair as I'm on mobile?

ECA Stack + Vyvanse?
Created: Sun Aug 13 19:37:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tjagg/eca_stack_vyvanse/

[Help] How did you reset your tastebuds?
/u/get-it_together [5'3" | hahaha kill me | UGW 130 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 18:52:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tj20v/how_did_you_reset_your_tastebuds/

Fasting/Extreme restricting shopping essential
/u/DirtyxVans [5'5 | CW 151 | GW110 | TF]
Created: Sun Aug 13 18:34:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tiyrn/fastingextreme_restricting_shopping_essential/

[Rant/Rave] In the past four days, I've consumed 8448, 717, 1010 and 9330 calories. Sums up my EDπŸ˜’
Created: Sun Aug 13 18:29:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tixuf/in_the_past_four_days_ive_consumed_8448_717_1010/

[Goal] I'm new here, and I wanted to share that I am .2 away from my ultimate goal!
Created: Sun Aug 13 18:26:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tix8d/im_new_here_and_i_wanted_to_share_that_i_am_2/

[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo
Created: Sun Aug 13 18:23:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tiwlu/daily_thinspo/

[Help] just binged on a bag of chips
Created: Sun Aug 13 17:06:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tihaw/just_binged_on_a_bag_of_chips/

[Rant/Rave] Adding up all the money I've spent on food...
/u/skinnypod [5'6" | 121 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 16:55:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tif41/adding_up_all_the_money_ive_spent_on_food/
It is insane. No wonder I am so broke. I will spend easily Β£100+ a week on certain foods and expensive particular things. And god help my binge spending.

I don't meal prep or anything that would save money as I hate keeping food in the house.

I think that's the main problem. All I eat are the most expensive forms of anything - pre packaged, pre cooked, fancy fruits, "health" food bollocks.

I am in loads of debt and will be unemployed soon. What a lovely and strange side effect of ED that certainly never gets mentioned in the books or TV shows....

[Rant/Rave] I feel like I am in a competition to lose weight
Created: Sun Aug 13 16:52:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tieb3/i_feel_like_i_am_in_a_competition_to_lose_weight/

[Help] Looking for a psychiatrist in Houston
/u/txla107 [5'5" | CW:133 lb GW:115 | 21.8 | +10 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 16:39:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tibp0/looking_for_a_psychiatrist_in_houston/
You'd think living in the fourth largest city in the country with the greatest medical center would make it easy to find an ED specialist that is accepting patients within the next year. No such luck. If anyone has any recommendations pls let me know thx friends

[Rant/Rave] Gym
Created: Sun Aug 13 16:23:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ti8j6/gym/
My bf always wants me to workout with him, but he won't lift weights with me. Lol he kept asking me what areas I want to target (like he wanted me to breakdown and say my fat ass, thighs and basically my whole body). I told him to leave me alone about it bc his suggestions would probably annoy me.

Wtf... I feel like he's too embarrassed to workout with me. There's this older man trainer at the gym with giant arms maybe I'll hire him.

I just want to look bomb for my wedding next July.

[Thinspo] Had tea while drawing my yoga spot.
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Sun Aug 13 16:11:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ti5wl/had_tea_while_drawing_my_yoga_spot/

[Other] I want to feel cold again
/u/chocolate_9_T [5"0 | 109😭 | 21.1 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 16:03:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ti45p/i_want_to_feel_cold_again/

So there was a post earlier on that said theyre always cold... and I don't get that feeling anymore.

This sounds so dumb lol but I remember having to put a layer of cardigan on cos I was cold and this just reminds me that I've fallen off the wagon and it shows on the scale

Yea I really need to get some sleep ....

[Discussion] Meds for BED?
/u/sixribs [5'2 | CW130 | GW110 | 23.8 | -35 | 20F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 15:32:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6thxfc/meds_for_bed/
Last straw...last night I took in 5k calories in a sitting. I've gained 10lb this summer. Does anyone have advice or experience on BED meds? I googled it and it looks like Vyanse is what's available, I've heard some people also try to use Adderall as an appetite suppressant. I think I'm gonna schedule an appointment with a doctor tomorrow. Should I admit to having BED or fake it as a ADHD medication thing? I'm in the US now. thanks everyone!

[Goal] I hit my 1st goal weight today and waist measurement
Created: Sun Aug 13 15:13:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6thtb0/i_hit_my_1st_goal_weight_today_and_waist/

[Rant/Rave] Seeing family members after gaining weight
/u/chimichanga_mischief [5"4 | I look like uncooked bread dough]
Created: Sun Aug 13 14:36:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6thl24/seeing_family_members_after_gaining_weight/
I have been away at university and haven't seen a bunch of family and friends in about a year. I've gained a lot of weight during this time (about 30lbs) and I'm really self conscious about it. I've been in a big binge episode for a few months and it's been really hard.

I just arrived in my home town and am making plans to see everyone. There is a big family reunion in a couple weeks that everyone is going to be at. I was feeling nervous about it and brought it up to my mother. All she said was "I told you so" because she mentioned it when she saw me a couple months ago. Then she said that the pants I was currently wearing (black tights) weren't helping.

I don't know what to do. I can't stop crying. I don't want anyone to see me. I'm so angry at myself that I let myself get to this point. I'm the fattest I've ever been. I don't know what to do to avoid seeing everyone. I feel like they will judge me and talk about me, especially because many members of my family are very skinny and weight conscious. I just want to leave.

[Rant/Rave] feeling compulsion to purge even though im not bulimic
/u/wowowaka [5'2 | 139 > lmao > 100 (one can dream) | 17F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 13:15:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6th2yc/feeling_compulsion_to_purge_even_though_im_not/
hi idk how else to explain this. ive been binging a lot lately. yesterday i had a 1200 day and felt amazing and thought i had my shit together but mom brought my binge foods in the house and i, well, you can figure out the rest.

the thing is, i dont purge. ever. i just restrict to hell and back for a couple days then hate myself and binge again. but lately ive been getting this... feeling of anxiety when i enter the bathroom. to take everything out of me. like that'd serve as a 'reset' button or some shit.

i know how bad purging is. ive been warned so many times by ex bulimics i watch on youtube and even some of you guys when i shared this in the discord a long ass time ago. ive seen pictures of rotting teeth, and what have you. i *know* i shouldn't, but why won't this feeling go away?

but its such a physical feeling, like if i dont take this shit out of my body ill never be ok again. its so fucking painful trying to resist. although im doing my best, by running out of the bathroom as soon as im done brushing my teeth or whatever.

i guess i just wanted to share that with people who i know understand :(

What are your opinions on "what I eat in a day" videos?
Created: Sun Aug 13 11:48:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tgjbz/what_are_your_opinions_on_what_i_eat_in_a_day/

[Rant/Rave] i'm insanely jealous of people with the same body as me??
/u/Jemjon [5'7" | CW: 110 | BMI: 17.2 | GW: 108? | F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 11:41:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tghwm/im_insanely_jealous_of_people_with_the_same_body/
I just started seeing a therapist for my ED but my body dysmorphia and jealousy is killing me. If i see a skinny girl on instagram or in real life I get enraged that they 'have something I can never have' even though I can go look in the mirror and CLEARLY SEE I am JUST AS THIN AS THEY ARE. I get jealous of their ribs showing, flat stomach whatever even though I am underweight, I have those things too??

Im seriously anxious to meet one of my boyfriends best friends, he said she was skinny and I actually grilled him on how skinny she was, if she was skinnier than me or not (really embarassed of this like what the fuck is wrong with me) and he said she is not and I stalked her instagram and really, her and I have the same body size, you could switch our heads and it wouldn't be very different, but I am jealous of how skinny she is? Im anxious to meet her incase i'll get insecure and weird :(

I actually feel even more self conscious and jealous than I did when I was 25 pounds heavier than I am now. But im terrified to gain weight in recovery of course. atleast now I logically know im skinny even if I dont feel it, im so scared to no longer have that reassurance if I gain weight. I have been thinking of joining a gym to be able to still control how I look. ugh I am so pissed and depressed :(

[Rant/Rave] I have a muffin top now ;_;
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 11:35:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tgghn/i_have_a_muffin_top_now/
I bought a few pairs of high waisted pants when I weighed 124-ish; now I weight 133-ish, and I officially have a muffin top in them even though they are high waisted :[ When I gain weight, I think I'm apple shaped... so I guess it makes sense. I just feel really shitty and gross today. Maybe I'm just extra bloated today. Plus I've been overeating/binging for the past few days (confession number 2, lol). But Idfk.

[Tip] how i'm not binging on peanut butter
/u/tinycashew [5'6.75" | 118.0 | 18.59 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 11:16:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tgbu9/how_im_not_binging_on_peanut_butter/
I thought maybe this would help someone else because it's working for me!!

Basically my house this summer has had multiple communal jars of peanut butter which is a real issue for me because it's a major enemy of mine and I've binged on it multiple times. One of them was "oh i'll just finish this jar and then it will be gone forever" LOL no a new one popped up right away. And obviously I can't throw them out because they belong to everybody. So after a few occasions of not super binging but eating like 4-5 tablespoons of it at once I came up with this new rule.

If I want peanut butter, I can have it any time but it has to be incorporated into another food. Before I would justify eating spoonfuls of it alone by "I'll just have one tablespoon and then be done and it will only be 100 calories" but that never worked. Other foods are soo much lower in calories than PB itself! My toast has 80 calories for god's sake! That's less than a tablespoon is worth! Now I actually do only eat 1-2 tablespoons of PB because

a. it took time to make the snack and eat it

b. it's actually filling and I'm satisfied after

c. it wasn't "forbidden" so I don't feel like I already messed up and just give up and eat more

d. and, sometimes I just don't bother making anything because I'm not actually hungry for real food, it was just an urge.

My go-tos are PB on toast (~200 cals) PB+banana (~250 cals), and oatmeal with PB (~300) - super filling because it's an actual meal. Then the meal gets incorporated into my calories for the day and I just move on instead of self-hating.

Love you all!

[Tip] anyone else use a bujo to be an ED-ridden wackadoo? πŸ€”
/u/homicidoll [5'4 | -54 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 11:09:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tgail/anyone_else_use_a_bujo_to_be_an_edridden_wackadoo/

[Rant/Rave] [rant/rave] I hate scales
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 11:08:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tga8g/rantrave_i_hate_scales/
I've been travelling for three weeks now, and for the first time in about two weeks I've had access to a scale. I don't weigh at home because if I have the option I do it compulsively and the number is always super random, but before I left I was at my lowest weight I can remember, around 100. A week into the trip I weighed in at 103 after eating and just getting off a plane, so no real change. Fast forward to today. I get off the plane, go to my hotel, I see the scale in my room, step on, and it's broken. I feel relief at first that I don't have to know what the number is, and then I'm consumed by an intense need to know. I just couldn't let it go. So I go into my parents' room to weigh and the number comes back- 110. The highest number I've seen in years. I know it's not really possible I gained ten pounds in three weeks, especially since I've still been counting calories, compulsively exercising, and taking weight loss pills, but there's no way it could be ten whole pounds off. How much is it possible for a scale to be wrong by? I'm having a bit of a panic attack over this and I don't know what to do.

[Rant/Rave] I hate needing to eat when I don't want to
/u/mainechick [5'4'' | CW 129 lb | GW 125 | UGW 107]
Created: Sun Aug 13 11:07:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tga3d/i_hate_needing_to_eat_when_i_dont_want_to/
I've been under 300 kcal the past 4 days and under 800 since July 29th and today I was so weak and dizzy that I had to eat something or I knew I might pass out at some point today even though I didn't even feel hungry or have any cravings. Now I just really want to purge but I can't because I'll be right back where I started and I just feel angry that I need to consume calories just to operate.

I also broke the 120's this morning and thought that I would've been way happier but I just feel frustrated that I'm still so far away from my LW/UGW that it doesn't even feel like real progress even though I'm down from the 140's.

Today just feels shitty, man.

[Rant/Rave] When your roommates try to act like they didn't eat your food
/u/emotionalthr0w [5'9 22F. SW:182 CW:158.8 BMI:23.03]
Created: Sun Aug 13 11:07:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tga19/when_your_roommates_try_to_act_like_they_didnt/
Like b*tch I have a detailed log of every single thing I've eaten in the past YEAR I know I didn't eat that burrito and "forget about it" πŸ™ƒ

[Rant/Rave] [Rave] Rave-Fast
/u/sicksadcook [162| 48.9 |19.03 | GW47 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 10:21:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tg04n/rave_ravefast/
I did it again.

So I tried to get myself off the b/p train. I managed somehow. Took some weight though.

Decided to try to fast, this time a little less healing and detoxing.

I don't eat, don't drink alcohol - but I rave. This means everything else goes, as long as it makes me go on dancing for hours and keeps me from eating.

I am generally passionate about dancing and very enduring. Like this though, I can continue for days.

Another week to go ❀

[Help] I lied about my weight to donate blood
/u/rachelrayromano [5'4" | CW 102 | 17.85 |F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 09:37:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tfqi1/i_lied_about_my_weight_to_donate_blood/
I said I was 110 and the guy squinted at me, but didn't question me. It took me 4 times longer than everyone else to finish my donation and I was definitely the smallest person by a lot. I maintained my one meal a day habit until 3 days later, after a weird fainting spell on day 2. I'm so dumb, but I already scheduled another donation in october. I have no desire to get up to 110, but part of me thinks this is the dumbest thing I can do. When I think of gaining, I just want to not eat anything ever again. I don't know what to do you guys, but I will most likely not gain and lie again.

[Discussion] Do you have eating disorder radar?
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 09:09:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tfky4/do_you_have_eating_disorder_radar/
I was at Sprouts yesterday doing my normal check-the-calories-on-everything-just-in-case-they've-changed, when I see a girl checking out the sushi packages and looking for the calories listed (they totally aren't listed at all, it's a travesty). I just had that *feeling* and I knew that she had an ED. So I go about my business, and I'm talking to my mom about new stuff at Sprouts, and was like, "Wow, I need to try these fish burgers. 100 calories each!" And the girl could not have turned around faster if she tried. Suspicion confirmed. I so wanted to say something, but what do you say? "Hello, fellow crazy person!"

Do you ever have this happen to you when you're out?

(Also, Sprouts girl, if you're reading this--hi! Isn't it such bullshit that they don't label the sushi? Hope you found something else to eat!)

[Thinspo] Stomach Thinspiration 8.13
Created: Sun Aug 13 09:01:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tfjey/stomach_thinspiration_813/

[Rant/Rave] Bf doesn't care about my ED
Created: Sun Aug 13 09:00:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tfj74/bf_doesnt_care_about_my_ed/
Sorry that this sounds attention seeking...

Ive only been seeing this guy for over a month, but he just. Doesn't. Care. My ex could tell and REALLY cared to the point i felt smothered. I hated him for it at the time but i know feel down he cared and loved me (we actually ended after he said he needs me to recover but im not ready).

But this guy? Noooope. At first i found it great and just thought he just wasnt as smart as my ex. But then i started missing being worried about, so id be a lot more obvious. Ive left laxatives around, commented on how i want to still lose weight even though im like 99lb. Its got to the point where im just being 100% honest with him and told him i dont want to eat and love to fast. He doesnt seem phased?Its almost like hes enabling me and now i feel lonely and scared.

Maybe if i just tell him straight out I have an ED? But he just loves to talk only of himself... im confused. But if he were to help me, id push him away...

Has anyone here been with an enabling partner?? Or someone that doesnt care? I feel really lonely atm

Partner doesn't care about my ED
Created: Sun Aug 13 08:59:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tfj0k/partner_doesnt_care_about_my_ed/

[Rant/Rave] I gained two pounds in two days and Im done
/u/basedgore [5'3| CW:98lb | GW1: 95lb | -61lb | M]
Created: Sun Aug 13 08:31:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tfdj5/i_gained_two_pounds_in_two_days_and_im_done/
I'm fucking flipping out!!! I broke 100 20 days ago, went down to 98, and started plateauing so I decided to high restrict fir two days!! And I'm back to 100 lbs again! I want to fucking die all of my hard work was for nothing and I feel sick. I thought I was plateauing because I hadn't had a BM for a while but I had one last night and I'm at 100! Due to CICO I should be less than 95 lbs right now - and my tracking hasnt changed at all. theres no way ive eaten above 600 cals in the past two weeks besides the last two days, two other days where I ate a lot of wings and got drunk. and the last two days I ate at less than 1,200. I even fasted a few days entirely. I am fuxking lost

[Rant/Rave] 'Celebration' is totally not worth the binge
/u/guniver [5'2 | CW 99lbs | BMI 18.35 | GW 92lbs]
Created: Sun Aug 13 07:33:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tf4gp/celebration_is_totally_not_worth_the_binge/
Today was supposed to be a good day. I've never been so myself for such a long time.
I was happy that my mum's back and enjoyed eating her cooking and the stuffs she bought from her trip. I also passed my entrance test. So I decided to make it a 'eat normal day'. Of course, eat normally means binging on biscuits, nuts and grapes. I couldn't even control myself. Idk what happened

Later my family wanted to 'celebrate' my results. The thing is they only told me halfway during dinner: oh actually we're celebrating your test results, congrats.
Omg my whole spirit drained. If we're gonna celebrate!!! Ask me what I want to eat??? I'd rather do it right and eat all the food I crave instead of pretending to be normal and eat the food I don't even want. I thought I'm eating all these stuffs, for YOU. (Btw my mum decided to say its a 'celebration' because she suddenly remembered. No one else knew about my test results)

I know I'm supposed to be grateful but I feel so bummed out. My family doesn't even care what I want. (This happens all the time)
Then we went for second round dinner at a cheap sushi place. I want my fill of good sushi not cheap sushi. It's not worth the calories!! Nothing I ate today is what I wanted to eat! It's not worth getting fat over!!! And I ate anyways. Smh

I'd rather today be a normal day and they choose whatever they want to eat. Instead it's supposed to be MY day (apparently) but I didn't get what I want.

Total: over 1600. 300 over TDEE. My stomach feels so full I want to cry. I regret this so so so much. I want to die. I don't want anymore fake special days or normal days. I just want to restrict and keep to myself. I feel so selfish but really, I'm crying over the wasted calories..

Edit: damn this is so long. For those who read this, i love you. I just need an outlet. I told my boyfriend about the celebration part but he didn't understand why I was upset

[Help] Skinny friends?
Created: Sun Aug 13 07:28:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tf3nl/skinny_friends/
Ok so I need some advice about my best friend. She's beautiful, and so tiny. She also has an ED. We've become good friends in a short amount of time but I honestly can't imagine my life without her. However, it's really hard for me to be her friend sometimes because of how tiny she is. It's been really good for my restricting/purging because I want to be pretty too (and I lost a ton when we first became close), but it's been really hard on my mental health. This week she's been out of town and I binged hard the first day but I've been eating normally (3 meals a day, no purging) for the first time in ages. Before that I had been in a pretty good cycle of restricting/purging a few days a week and eating "normally" the rest, which really works for me because I'm so busy but it keeps my ED brain satisfied (and I don't put on weight and sometimes lose weight doing that). My mental health was SO MUCH better when I was doing that but when she's around and I'm seeing her regularly I can't make myself eat. I just feel so ugly and fat around her. Does anyone have advice about this type of situation? Sorry for the novel, she's getting back today and I've been freaking out.

[Discussion] August 13th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 07:24:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tf31u/august_13th_2017_question_of_the_day/
What is your favorite thing to do on a Saturday morning?

(I guess we can alter it to Sunday since it's Sunday, and for 5 years this will never be on Saturday πŸ˜‚)

[Rant/Rave] I binged in front of my mom.
Created: Sun Aug 13 07:06:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tf06l/i_binged_in_front_of_my_mom/

[Rant/Rave] I wish I was tiny
/u/RainyDayDaydream [5'7 | GW: Air | Lady]
Created: Sun Aug 13 06:57:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6teyxj/i_wish_i_was_tiny/
I just saw the smallest, most petite girl. She was super short, and so so skinny. Clearly underweight for her height. But didnt look unhealthy, I swear she weighed like 30kilos. Im soothing myself with the idea that maybe she was really, really young and looks older for her age.
Im average height and a little underweight. But Ill never be tiny or small. Its just... How my bones are, my build. My stature. No matter my weight, there will still be too much of me. Its how Ive always felt. So awkward and out of place in my own skin. I wish I could be at peace with this body that Im stuck with. But short and skinny is so beautiful. Ive always wanted to look like that, ever since I could remember. Not like the big, bulky thing of a body I have. Acceptance isnt an option tho, loosing weight is until I end up with bone density problems. That'll eventually shave off a few centimeters from my height.

Anybody else?

[Discussion] How do you stop binging?
Created: Sun Aug 13 06:46:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6texdy/how_do_you_stop_binging/
I don't know if this is a good place to ask this, since I'm not sure if anyone here has ever experienced this, but I've been binging nonstop for the past three weeks and I can't stop myself. Everyday I'm eating like 3000 calories. I'm usually not hungry in the morning and eat nothing until lunch, but then once I start eating I can't stop, and I can't stop myself from eating lunch because I usually eat with other people. I just want to not eat anything at all, but for some reason I can't stop myself from sabotaging myself by binging. I'm on appetite suppressants too and it used to be so easy for me to only eat like 300-600 calories and now suddenly I can't. How do you stop binging?

[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 13, 2017
Created: Sun Aug 13 06:11:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tes23/daily_food_diary_august_13_2017/
This is a daily food diary thread for August 13, 2017.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)

[Sticky] Sunday: Share your latest grocery+food hauls!
Created: Sun Aug 13 06:10:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tes17/sunday_share_your_latest_groceryfood_hauls/
Feel welcome to post pics of your latest and greatest hauls~! Consider adding commentary on:

* what country you're in
* what store, site, market or Co-op you shopped at
* how much you spent or any sweet deals you found

[Rant/Rave] I binged in front of my mom.
Created: Sun Aug 13 06:10:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tes0w/i_binged_in_front_of_my_mom/

[Rant/Rave] I tried purging for the first time...
Created: Sun Aug 13 03:55:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6teb6l/i_tried_purging_for_the_first_time/
I ate 2000 calories of crap. I was never more determined to get this shit out of my system. I sat on my bathroom floor for an hour shoving my fingers down my throat, bite marks digging into my knucles. And I couldn't do it. I gagged and gagged and spit saliva for 60 minutes straight and that was it. One fucking hour of trying to force it out of me. My throat is so sore. I keep feeling like I'm choking. I'm such a failure that I can't even purge properly. Now I get to deal with the fact that I gained back 3 pounds on top of this failure. I want to throw my scale at the wall. I make one step of progress and somehow I end up jumping back 10 steps.

[Discussion] What are your "stranded on a desert island" ED items?
/u/kzxwy [5' 6" | CW: 134.8 | HW: 145.0 | GW: 115.0 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 03:15:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6te6y8/what_are_your_stranded_on_a_desert_island_ed_items/
What items, ED related, could you not live without? Can be a type of food, tool, appliance, drug, etc.

Mine would be:

-My digital food scale

-Vitafusion Fiber Gummies

-Trident White Gum

-Any type of beer (my guilty pleasure)

What about you guys?

Created: Sun Aug 13 03:15:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6te6vu/d/

No access to my scale
Created: Sun Aug 13 03:12:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6te6l5/no_access_to_my_scale/

[Rant/Rave] I tried recovery and I'm more unhappy than ever.
Created: Sun Aug 13 03:02:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6te5h1/i_tried_recovery_and_im_more_unhappy_than_ever/
I felt like once I recovered it would fix all my problems, but after forcing it for months I'm more miserable than ever as well as fifteen pounds heavier. I'm miserable both ways, but I'd rather be miserable and thin. Back to the only thing I can control in life.

[Rant/Rave] So I talked to a friend about my ED...
/u/somanybrightlights [5'10" | 130 | 18,3 | GW 100 | F | πŸ‘ thisishowidisappear]
Created: Sun Aug 13 02:46:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6te3pc/so_i_talked_to_a_friend_about_my_ed/
And this morning she sends me a message about how much she weighed(which was less than I do, but she's shorter)? Like what the fuck, I just told you that I feel disgusting if I know that I weigh more than my friends and that numbers stress me out, and now you do that? Do you want me to fucking starve myself to death?

Looking for an ana buddy
Created: Sun Aug 13 02:45:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6te3lh/looking_for_an_ana_buddy/

[Other] Any one interested in joining me for a juice fast?
Created: Sun Aug 13 02:22:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6te13g/any_one_interested_in_joining_me_for_a_juice_fast/

[Rant/Rave] Guess who just ate an entire fucking cake?
/u/whatisthisshow2002 [5'2.5" | CW: 48kg | GW: 40 kg | UGW: I just want to be loved]
Created: Sun Aug 13 02:10:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tdzpq/guess_who_just_ate_an_entire_fucking_cake/
Yep. Me. Fuck my life. No wonder my mum hates me and my dad turns a blind eye to this. No mother could love such a fat, disgusting piece of shit bitch who oozes fat everywhere and is just a mouth with no stomach. I'm such a fucking bitch I deserve to be dead right now. Evil bitch. On the plus side, picking out your own hair is surprisingly therapeutic. I'm fucking crazy.

[Discussion] Are you just getting less hungry?
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 02:10:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tdzn7/are_you_just_getting_less_hungry/
I've been restricting for about a month and I'm just starting to feel super full whenever I eat. Last night at my engagement party I had a lamb chop and a meatball.

Today for lunch I had a coffee.

Everytime I eat I feel like my stomach is going to explode.

Maybe I'm just taking more notice of when I'm not and not just eating out of boredom?

[Rant/Rave] Posting this here because you people are the only ones who will understand (TW: domestic violence)
Created: Sun Aug 13 00:33:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tdodq/posting_this_here_because_you_people_are_the_only/
So I've been off and on proED for a while now, but I feel like this is the only safe place I can talk about this.

I've had an ED for a long time, comes and goes, but when I drink more it crops back up. I was out drinking in the next town over with a friend and we got a hotel room so there wouldn't be drinking and driving. I got shithoused and left earlier than he did, ordered a pizza, after half and decided to purge.

My friend came back drunk and caught me. Long story short he ended up pinning me to the door and putting his hands around my throat. He choked me into I passed out.

He was arrested that night and I thankfully haven't seen him, but since then I haven't been able to keep food down. Every time I swallow I feel his hands again. I'm down three pounds so far and I'm weirdly glad. I've found a means to control what I put in my mouth. I know this is pretty fucked up.

I wrote out what happened and put it up on/r/self but couldn't fess up to the purging part. [This is the long version.](https://www.reddit.com/r/self/comments/6sje6m/last_night_i_was_nearly_strangled_by_someone_i/) It's graphic but putting it out there feels cathartic. Thanks for reading.

[Humor] I got a safe food tattooed on my body
/u/subspacehipster [5'5'' | 119 | 20.03 | -16lbs | F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 00:32:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tdo9y/i_got_a_safe_food_tattooed_on_my_body/

[Discussion] Is anyone else just... never hungry?
/u/squishysponges [18F|5'5"|GW 110]
Created: Sat Aug 12 23:48:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tdiq1/is_anyone_else_just_never_hungry/
I feel like recently my habits have changed a lot. I used to wake up ravenous and look forward to food the minute I opened my eyes. Now when I wake up, food is probably the last thing I think about. I'm just not hungry. The only reason I eat lately (and it's usually a terrible, terrible binge every time) is because I go out with my boyfriend, or cook him food which consequently means I'm eating a meal with him or he worries.
But if I was able to fast I feel like I'd do just fine. Thankfully I start college at the end of the month (just a county college) and my boyfriend starts his new job on the second shift in September. That means we have a few hours together in the afternoon, but I can just tell him I already ate.
This kinda turned into a ramble but the discussion is really: DAE feel like their appetites are completely gone?

[Discussion] Anybody else just feel instant shame when toilet water splashes in your face?
/u/butterflyjellyfish [5'8" | 10 | 27.3 | 34 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Aug 12 23:20:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tdez7/anybody_else_just_feel_instant_shame_when_toilet/
When I have a particularly forceful puke and a little bit of the water splashes back up at me is when it finally... pardon the pun... when it finally hits me how shameful it is to just lie around on the bathroom floor all day.

[Discussion] Which vitamins do you take daily?
/u/aceshighsays [5'2" | C: 110.2 | -27.8 | F | G: 99]
Created: Sat Aug 12 23:14:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tde3q/which_vitamins_do_you_take_daily/
(topic) .. and what for. I forgot to ask that :(

[Goal] Fasting & Healthy eating buddies
Created: Sat Aug 12 22:36:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6td8iq/fasting_healthy_eating_buddies/

[Thinspo] Arm Thinspo
/u/EtanMuller [ 5'5" | CW: 97 | GW: 90 | UGW: 85 |16.33 | 15M ]
Created: Sat Aug 12 22:26:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6td75q/arm_thinspo/

[Rant/Rave] I fucked up tonight
Created: Sat Aug 12 21:56:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6td23s/i_fucked_up_tonight/
I would like to post this for accountability. I fucked up today/tonight. I barely paid attention to what I was eating but I logged it all. I started out well, I ate what I planned for breakfast, and then I ate more than I planned for lunch, and then it just went downhill from there. I had a Starbucks cheese and fruit box, a chocolate croissant, and 2 alcoholic drink( which are totally knocking me out right now because I don't even drink) all came up to around 1900 cal. So I messed up! And words, I didn't even do my exercise today. I feel huge!!!! Fuck duck fucck fuck fuck. Fuck. Sorry for spelling/grammar I'm fucked up.

[Rant/Rave] No one thinks BED is a real problem and it's driving me insane
/u/greenso [5'11" | 136.5 | -43 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Aug 12 21:54:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6td1qj/no_one_thinks_bed_is_a_real_problem_and_its/
People really, really don't understand that binge eating disorder is a real, actual thing. The psychiatrists I've seen have said they do but I could see it written on their faces. Then they'd resume to gently blow me off and redirect the conversation.

All I can think about is food. All. The. Time. Like my brain has nothing better to do other than think about eating. I never feel full and I never feel hungry. I'm always either intensely craving or physically sick. There's no medium. And then it gets worse because now I have to militantly watch what I eat so I don't gain and then after a while the restriction gets out of hand and I'm passing out in trains from hypotension from not eating.

I *know* what it's like not to have BED though. That's the infuriating thing. I've seen the other side. I was on some antidepressants that inadvertently treated the BED and it was night and fucking day. You just... stop thinking about food. It wouldn't even occur to me that I had stopped thinking about it. It was honestly the best couple of months of my life. It was so fucking *liberating*. But now I'm back and I've had it up to here. All my thoughts, all of them, are about food and fat and I can't do this lol. I haven't checked but I've put on about 15 pounds in the last three months. It's fucking crazy.

And I have tried cognitive therapy, but that's not it. With meds, it's like a switch that goes off in my brain. It's kind of eerie in a way how much something so small can have an impact on my life. But the meds have stopped working and my doctor refuses to actually treat it and so, just, whatever. Can't wait to be hospitalized again and treated like shit because I don't look like I have anorexia and I don't look like I have BED and BED isn't a real thing and I'm just looking for attention. Like it seems that people actually resent me for all this shit even though I've been dealing with it since I was 13. It's the loneliest fucking thing ever. Because I can't talk about it because then I'll immediately be categorized under "drama" and that's not me, I never want to be seen as someone who's looking for attention or like a victim.

Anyway, I needed to vent. Sorry if this is whiny.

[Rant/Rave] Whole Foods has a sale on all their supplements this weekend
/u/SetsunaChan [63.5 inches| 98.5 lbs | 17.58 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 12 20:31:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tco2n/whole_foods_has_a_sale_on_all_their_supplements/
Heard about it on r/xxfitness. The Whole Foods Markets in the (Mid-Atlantic US) are having a 25% off all supplements this weekend. Dates say 8/11 - 8/13.
Go get your supps, stay healthy!!

heard about it from Blu_Stocking just want to give credit where it is due

[Discussion] Alcohol to break a plateau?
/u/tootiredrn [5'4" | CW 162.2 | -7.8 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 12 20:07:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tcjwf/alcohol_to_break_a_plateau/

[Discussion] Anyone else feel cold most of the time?
Created: Sat Aug 12 19:54:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tchie/anyone_else_feel_cold_most_of_the_time/
Even after eating, putting on lots of clothes, and covering myself in blankets, I'm still in the midst of an everlasting temperature crisis. I don't even know anymore

[Thinspo] Ribcage Thinspo
Created: Sat Aug 12 19:44:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tcftd/ribcage_thinspo/

[Help] What just happened to me?
/u/sp_600 [5'7 | 110 | bmi 17.2 | 20yr female]
Created: Sat Aug 12 19:32:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tcdkn/what_just_happened_to_me/
I was at a party and i let myself cheat. I had fasted the day before and restricted under 900 cal for the past 2 weeks. I ate a bunch of food kinda fast, but not more than what a regular person would have. All the sudden, i was white as a sheet and had beads of sweat rolling down my face. My stomach felt awful. I knew i had to get the food out. Not in a "purge" kind of way but more like a "this is making me sick" way.

I barely made it through the uber ride home. As soon as i got to my apartment, i made myself puke. I feel a bit better.

Has this happened to anyone else?

[Other] I found his saved porn.
/u/ghostrice [5'6 | 27/F | SW: 280lbs - CW: 178lbs - GW: 140lbs]
Created: Sat Aug 12 19:29:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tccsg/i_found_his_saved_porn/
All the girls are tiny. They are all very skinny, brown haired girls.

I'm a 170+ bulimic, alcoholic, ugly bitch with pink hair.

He tells me he loves my curves and that makes me sick. He says he likes bigger girls. But all his porn is tiny girls.

Why lie about what you find attractive? I am most disgusted with myself.

[Intro] Small intro, long time lurker of this sub and y'all seem so supportive. :')
Created: Sat Aug 12 19:23:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tcbol/small_intro_long_time_lurker_of_this_sub_and_yall/

[Goal] What is your daily calorie goal?
Created: Sat Aug 12 18:49:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tc5kj/what_is_your_daily_calorie_goal/

[Help] Anorexia and Testosterone - What to do
Created: Sat Aug 12 17:56:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tbvt8/anorexia_and_testosterone_what_to_do/
A few months ago I hit a wall while having a very low calorie diet, <1200 daily for 2 months (I'm a 20 year old male who lifts 6 days per week) and had some hormone issues. My testosterone had plummeted to 270 when I got it checked. Now, I've been eating more and it's climbed back up to 560, a normal level, but my SHBG is super high at 80 causing my free testosterone to be lower than the normal range. I've read that high SHBG can be associated with eating disorders and I strictly count calories, even though I'm trying to be in a slight surplus currently and think I have some sort of dysmorphia or previously had anorexia. If anyone had experience or advice, it would be much appreciated. My endocrinologist said my labs were close enough to normal now (after seeing them climb over 6-8 weeks) and doesn't seem too concerned, as if they will return to normal in time. I also didn't tell her about the very low calorie diet.

[Discussion] Are there any foods that you all don't count the calories for?
/u/kzxwy [5' 6" | CW: 134.8 | HW: 145.0 | GW: 115.0 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 12 17:28:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tbqwm/are_there_any_foods_that_you_all_dont_count_the/
I don't log sugar free gum, because I figure that the chewing motion burns more than the 2 or 3 calories. I also don't log black coffee or plain green/black tea. Again, I think the caffeine kind of negates any calories. Plus I chew so much gum and drink so much coffee/tea I would go crazy logging it all. On the other hand, I don't consume any of those 0 cal syrups/pickles/jellos etc because I don't really trust them really being 0. Curious what you all log/don't log as far as low calorie foods

[Discussion] Anyone scared they'll fuck up their kids?
/u/dahee3697 [5'1.5" | CW: 120 | GW: 100 | F | 19]
Created: Sat Aug 12 17:22:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tbpsd/anyone_scared_theyll_fuck_up_their_kids/
I'm not even a mom, nor will I be one any time soon, but I find myself wondering if I will fuck my kids up when I have them. Not that I want to fat shame them, but I don't want them to be big just because I don't want them to feel bad about themselves or be bullied or ever go through what I do. So I thought, then do I just count calories for them like I do for myself? How many calories do kids need? And I realized, what if that drives them to an eating disorder. Like what the fuck, how does one raise a child without them developing an eating disorder? HOW DO PEOPLE DO THAT???? H E L P

[Help] "Recovered" but struggling
Created: Sat Aug 12 16:24:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tbet7/recovered_but_struggling/

[Rant/Rave] Everything about today was awful and I feel very alone.
Created: Sat Aug 12 16:11:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tbc32/everything_about_today_was_awful_and_i_feel_very/

[Help] Frustrating as FUCK
Created: Sat Aug 12 15:50:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tb7zb/frustrating_as_fuck/

[Intro] I'm new here, but not to ED
Created: Sat Aug 12 15:01:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tay4f/im_new_here_but_not_to_ed/
Hiya! I'm new here, but I've had an ED on and off for about three years. I recently went to the doctor for a physical (July 13th) and I was at my highest weight ever. I was 180lbs give or take a little. Today, August 13th I had my weigh in and yes, my ED is back. I'm 60.3 inches tall and lost 30lbs in a month. I'm now at 150.4 and extremely happy with that weight loss but nowhere near my goal weight. Sooo yeah, hello my people.

[Other] I planned on starting my fast today but binged instead :(
Created: Sat Aug 12 14:34:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tasog/i_planned_on_starting_my_fast_today_but_binged/

[Rant/Rave] Our bodies are amazing?
/u/FastPhoria [5'10 | 126 | 18.1 / 17.6 | GW: 119 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 12 13:56:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6takwd/our_bodies_are_amazing/
Honestly. What we put our bodies through and achieve with our EDs in incredible.

Yesterday I ate a banana, half a melon, and a bag of frozen veg (unfrozen, of course). Today I have eaten nothing. I have worked productively today - finished my dissertation this evening after working on the dodgy bits all day. I'm in the uk so it is almost 9pm now, and I just got back from an 8 mile run. What struck me was this: IT WAS ALL EASY. I felt that I could have run another 8 miles, no problem. I'm not even feeling hungry. I feel great.

That's amazing, right? Our bodies absolutely kick ass.

So I thought we should all just take a minute to pat our physical selves on the back :)

[Rant/Rave] My roommate finally got in touch with me
/u/Keiwii [5'2 | GW:110 | UGW:90 | -32lbs]
Created: Sat Aug 12 13:52:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tak72/my_roommate_finally_got_in_touch_with_me/
I just got a dm from her and I checked her page and went to her photos . She’s hot and thin , I wanna kms πŸ™ƒπŸ™ƒπŸ™ƒ. She seems so nice and she has a lot of confidence . I bet she’d want to take pictures together with me and I hate taking pictures when I’m overweight , or when I’m the bigger one of the two . This girl is so excited to meet me but secretly I’m super jealous of her and want her to be fat ?? I’m so conflicted . At least when I see her I’ll be reminded to not be a lard. Like irl thinspo in my face constantly , torturing me until I’m thinner than her. It’s bitter sweet .

[Discussion] I have a weird project going on. What was the exact contents of your last binge/purge?
Created: Sat Aug 12 13:23:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tadzf/i_have_a_weird_project_going_on_what_was_the/
Typing this from the post-toiletbowl chair of shame.

I've been thinking about making a photography series along the lines of "what we eat vs how it comes out" in volume levels. I always freak out when I purge because I feel like what comes up is smaller than what I put in, so I thought it'd be fun to compare the volumes of actual chewed-up food to what's on the plate.

Yes, this is the grossest thing I think I've ever written out. Anyways, I'm interested. What was your last binge before the purge, in exact quantities?

Mine was one 200g milk chocolate bar, three hardbread sandwiches with one slice of ham and a layer of butter each, about two cups if crisps and one bottle of beer (fuck me, my soul and my savoury tooth, and fuck trying to get that back up.)

Toilet bowl did not represent evenly.

[Help] Ephedrine in the UK.
Created: Sat Aug 12 13:10:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tabb5/ephedrine_in_the_uk/

[Rant/Rave] When you binge...
/u/squishysponges [18F|5'5"|GW 110]
Created: Sat Aug 12 12:28:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ta2b3/when_you_binge/

[Other] "Sabrina Benaim - "Explaining My Depression to My Mother"" on YouTube
Created: Sat Aug 12 10:41:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t9g2r/sabrina_benaim_explaining_my_depression_to_my/

[Tip] Was craving some pancakes...these were great!
/u/awayawaydown [6'0" | 135 | 17.6 | 125 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 12 10:15:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t9ajy/was_craving_some_pancakesthese_were_great/

I let myself relax a little this weekend since I have company. I made these pancakes with no sugar added applesauce and whole wheat flour. You could probably use Splenda or some such, but I did use the sugar it called for.

Each pancake was approximately 93 calories (possibly less with no sugar added applesauce). Probably would have tasted just as good without the added sugar, but I can't say for sure. I allowed myself a skiff of butter and a little real maple syrup. I gave myself two pancakes but was so full after 1.5 that I didn't eat the rest. So filling!

If your restricting philosophy aligns with mine (I allow myself real foods in small amounts - it keeps me from getting cravings for real food that leads to binges), then you may enjoy this recipe. It got a thumbs up from my company. The pancakes are lovely and moist, so do not require much syrup (I used to drown pancakes in syrup so they wouldn't be so dry).

All in all, only 230 calorie breakfast and off to a good day.

[Other] A Conversation With Myself
/u/RichardStarrkey [6'0 | CW:63.4kg | 19.4 | GW:58kg | M]
Created: Sat Aug 12 09:31:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t91mh/a_conversation_with_myself/
I can never be sure with you, can I?

How does the sky work?

Shut up, we both know you're pressing for time. What for, anyway?

I can never know with you. You're always unsure, uncertain. What are you looking for? Perfection?

I'll never get it. We know that much. Is there anything you like about yourself?

Heaven in your eyes, summer in your lips.

Through eternity? Whatever you say.

You are my Angel. I love you.

Get over yourself. I know a lie when I see one.

You don't believe me. Of course you don't. Why would you?

Darling. Oh darling. I can't understand.

Fuck you, you fat fuck. That's right, eat it up. That's what you do. Now what? To the toilet? In jest, lie to your family, your friends. It's the only thing that will make you feel better.

You're a monster. A skinny, thin, beautiful...


[Rant/Rave] I always think my mother is someone I can talk to. When will I learn??
/u/northdakotanowhere [5'7 | CW:125 | BMI:19.5 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 12 09:18:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t8z0o/i_always_think_my_mother_is_someone_i_can_talk_to/
My mom grew up poor in a large family. I remember her telling me that her father would catch sparrows and rabbits and they'd eat those for dinner. So I understand why she has a distorted thought process when it comes to food. I was always listening to her saying she was fat, and watching her judging her body, or "if I wasn't fat," "my bust is too big," etc.

We never got to choose how much we ate or really what we ate. We always had to finish what she put on our plate. She'd ask if it was enough, we'd say yes, then she'd put more on our plate. She just didn't want us to be hungry. But it turned into a different problem.

My brother and I both developed eating disorders. We'd hide food, we would eat in private because we wanted to avoid criticism. He would restrict and purge. I would restrict, purge, give my food to the dog, throw away my lunches, go home on lunch break to purge. Even if my parents knew. They didn't say shit. My dad was the only one in the family that didn't say hurtful shit about weight gain/loss. He never made comments about our bodies.

My mom knew I wasn't eating and never said anything. I started eating for a bit and then stopped again. She noticed and said "you better not be doing that not eating shit again." that was so helpful!

Cut to these days. I got SO much better when I moved away from home and moved in with my boyfriend. He has such a healthy relationship with food. Well..too healthy..but he just taught me to be comfortable eating food. I gained weight, got fat, didn't notice though. Lost weight in a somewhat healthy way. But not enough. But I wasn't restricting. Up until two months ago.

I've fallen hard. It gets worse every day. I've reached my original goal weight but turns out...i was wrong when I wanted to weigh 125. Turns out, I really want to weigh 115! Im meeting with specialists to find out about recovery but I'm working hard on restricting until then.

I spent my appointment with my therapist yesterday preparing for my intake appointment. I called my mother afterwards even though I knew I probably shouldn't. I NEVER listen to my godamn gut instinct. I just want to be able to talk to my mom. I want her to understand. And say the right things. Or say nothing at all. But she always says something hurtful.

"you're working on it though right? Who am I kidding, of course you are."

I told her I absolutely wasn't. I'm working on losing weight.

"shame on you. That's wrong. You need to be eating more"

Oh..okay. I haven't considered that!

So it turns around into how I'm yelling at her and she doesn't want to deal with that. She puts my dad on the phone and he says "you know she doesn't know what to say" but every conversation I have with my father is so much more pleasant. He doesn't understand either but he tries. My mom got back on the phone and LIKE ALWAYS, ignores the problem and doesn't apologize for anything. Doesn't acknowledge anything. Let's just sweep it under the rug. "well I'll just find out any news about you from your father now" fucking fine. I'm 27. You'd think I would've learned who I can talk to about anything. But I never learn.

She texted me and told me she loved me. I'd usually respond, but I don't give a shit anymore. I'm tired of the guilt, and her making my problems about her. I don't want to blame her for my problems. But just like alcohol, she doesn't make them any better.

Unfortunately, this is why I don't want kids. I know my mother loved us so much. Maybe too much. I just can't fuck up my daughters life. Especially unintentionally.

TLDR: Mothers. The friend we want, but can't have.

Post your ED support tumblrs!
Created: Sat Aug 12 09:14:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t8y8r/post_your_ed_support_tumblrs/
Here is mine:


I will follow back everyone!

[Goal] Eating is more fun than dying
/u/cinnamonbicycle [5'2 | Recovering/relapsing | F]
Created: Sat Aug 12 08:46:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t8sy4/eating_is_more_fun_than_dying/
(I guess this could be flaired Goal? Thanks mods love you <3)

I've been in a terrible relapse for the past three weeks. I thought I was doing okay, but I was lying to my mom and it was tearing me apart. I tried to tell her that I won't recover, as if for some reason she'd let me starve just because I wanted to, and obviously she got really upset.

I reached my lowest low today. I truly, truly wanted to die. I felt utterly alone and useless. I felt that I'd rather die than ever have to eat again.

But suddenly I realized: why? I only feel like this because the little demon inside me promised me happiness, but I haven't gotten any happiness. Just tears. Why do I want to kill myself, just because now my mom will watch me close enough that I can't hide food? That's not worth it.

I can do one of two things: sit around being suicidal, or eat. And somehow I realized that eating is a lot more fun.

I'm going to miss seeing my ribs. I'm going to miss feeling light and empty and unbreakable. Gaining weight in recovery is going to suck. But as miserable as the weight gain made me, it was restriction that got me to my lowest low earlier today. No more cheating. I'm recovering for me this time. I'm recovering because there's nothing but misery at the end of this road, at least for now. And if something changes, hey- I know how to go back to restriction.

So yeah. I have a feeling my stomach is going to hurt a lot for the next few days. Wish me luck, folks.

[Discussion] August 12th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 12 08:00:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t8km4/august_12th_2017_question_of_the_day/
What is your resolution for tomorrow?

[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! August 12, 2017
Created: Sat Aug 12 06:10:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t83u6/stupid_questions_saturday_august_12_2017/
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for August 12, 2017.

Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**


Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 12, 2017
Created: Sat Aug 12 06:09:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t83op/daily_food_diary_august_12_2017/
This is a daily food diary thread for August 12, 2017.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)

[Thinspo] Those long legs :OO maybe one day
/u/Biebercel [BMI: 18.8 | GW: Thin]
Created: Sat Aug 12 04:47:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t7tbz/those_long_legs_oo_maybe_one_day/

[Rant/Rave] Being thin is the only thing i am even remotely good at
/u/Biebercel [BMI: 18.8 | GW: Thin]
Created: Sat Aug 12 02:09:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t7bhg/being_thin_is_the_only_thing_i_am_even_remotely/
My life is an absolute failure, i have nothing else going for me, no talents or skills or looks or charm, the only thing i can do better than the people around me is have a slim waist

It occurs to me that my problems arent caused by ana, but rather ana is just a coping mechanism i use to feel better

[Rant/Rave] Was in an accident.
/u/PerfctBodyPerfctSoul [5'11" | CW: 135 | BMI:18.2 | LW: 112 | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 12 01:33:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t76yy/was_in_an_accident/
On mobile, flair as other?

I'd wanted to post a few things Friday and over the weekend, but I was involved in a bad accident while biking home from my first day back at school (teacher), and I'll likely be laying low. I shouldn't be using my phone but I'm in a lot of pain and can't sleep.

No pictures for a while because I look like shit. Covered in lacerations, bruises, matted blood in my hair (not allowed to wash for a couple days with all my stitches), etc... I have a nasty concussion, but I got very lucky. They really thought I'd broken a few bones in my face.

Wear a helmet, guys. Wear a helmet.

I feel like an idiot for not doing it. Brand new bike. I was going to buy a helmet yesterday, but I ended up blowing through my budget on school supplies and decided I'd just order a nicer one online after my first paycheck arrives.

.... not worth it. On the bright side, it's incredibly difficult to eat anything with a concussion and this much pain. So there's that. Which is nice.

But I won't be riding again for a long while. So much for trying to boost up my calorie expenditure.

[Goal] Yay, I'm underweight (again!)
/u/FavorSlave- [5"8 | BMI 18.4 | F19]
Created: Sat Aug 12 01:09:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t748h/yay_im_underweight_again/
Time to binge on everything in sight then cry myself to sleep

[Thinspo] Thought you guys might appreciate this - Lights is so insanely beautiful
/u/IndifferentMilkHotel [5'10" | 138 | 19.3 | -5 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 12 00:21:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t6y70/thought_you_guys_might_appreciate_this_lights_is/

[Rant/Rave] Do you ever just hate your past self?
/u/SpitAndPennyStyle [5'2" |SW:185lbs | CW: 144lbs *drinks bleach*| GW:100 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 12 00:19:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t6xz0/do_you_ever_just_hate_your_past_self/
So, tomorrow my mom and I are meeting a friend of hers for dinner to celebrate my engagement. Where are we going? Olive garden. I'm of course going through the menu beforehand and I decided to calculate the caloric value of what I used to get there. *How on Earth was I able to eat this stuff before*. I can't believe I used to be able to clear a whole bowl of fettuccine alfredo *with sausage*. That's 1770 calories. I just can't believe myself and I feel really disgusted. That's twice what I've been eating on the daily.

[Help] Will taking a progress pic every morning help more than weighing myself?
Created: Fri Aug 11 21:43:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t6alt/will_taking_a_progress_pic_every_morning_help/

[Humor] The only upside to nuclear war
/u/daffodilhill [5'9" | GW 125]
Created: Fri Aug 11 21:38:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t69oj/the_only_upside_to_nuclear_war/

[Tip] Fasting app
Created: Fri Aug 11 21:35:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t699s/fasting_app/

[Discussion] Anyone else deal with hate/sabotage attempts from jealous people?
/u/cryptic_constipator [5'3 | 95.4]
Created: Fri Aug 11 21:32:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t68ok/anyone_else_deal_with_hatesabotage_attempts_from/
Now that I'm noticeably underweight I've noticed my chubby older sister is way more hostile towards me. She's the kind of person who goes on some fad diet without counting calories and then cheats every day, and goes to the gym but has no routine so she never makes any sort of progress. I've lost weight pretty quickly from doing nothing but weighing my food and sticking to my calorie limit every day, courtesy of anorexia.

She's insulted my hair out of jealousy of how long it is, she tells me the dairy, grains, and artificial sweeteners I eat will make me fat, she makes fun of my food scale (not even the fact that I use it. She made fun of the thing itself) and tried to break/de-calibrate it. Anything I do differently from her, she will find a way to make sure I know it's disgusting to her.

How do you deal with people like this? Of course it's because of their own insecurity and envy, but it's still so emotionally draining when all they ever want to do is undermine you.

[Goal] What is the shortest amount of time you have been able to reach you goal?
Created: Fri Aug 11 21:29:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t688n/what_is_the_shortest_amount_of_time_you_have_been/

[Rant/Rave] Fit into some old pants
/u/Keiwii [5'2 | HW:190 | GW:120 | UGW:100 | -32lbs]
Created: Fri Aug 11 21:11:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t65as/fit_into_some_old_pants/
I’m getting ready to go to college so I’m going through all of my clothes .I was trying on some old clothing and I fit into my pants from middle school! I nearly cried . I always see myself as the biggest Ive ever been and it just shocked me so much that they fit. I’m still a whale , but god did I feel a little better ... until I found an even smaller pair from another year in middle school . All of that temporary happiness disappeared and I felt so disgusting . Trying on pant after pant , fitting into them , then coming across one that doesn’t even fit one thigh ? Pathetic .

[Discussion] How do you guys track your calories?
/u/tinycode [5'5" | HW 250 | CW 150 | GW1 120 | 22F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 20:16:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t5w0i/how_do_you_guys_track_your_calories/
I find planning out the day's food gives me anxiety so scheduling is really hard for me. It's easier to coast through the day and keep pushing myself not to eat. I also struggle to keep up with apps that track calories; also it's inconvenient for me if I'm a social group.

At my work we have a free cafeteria without calorie counts. I know I shouldn't be eating there, but it's free. We have a lot of vegan / veggie options and everything is geared towards healthy stuff anyways.

[Tip] Countdown timers for fasting gives me motivation
/u/timetofadeaway [5'2 | CW scaredlikeamouse | LW 91 | GW1 110 | UGW 90 | F20]
Created: Fri Aug 11 20:10:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t5uwp/countdown_timers_for_fasting_gives_me_motivation/

[Help] What pills work? Please help :(
Created: Fri Aug 11 19:47:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t5qut/what_pills_work_please_help/

[Discussion] So i hit a BIG goal weight.....now what do i do? lol
Created: Fri Aug 11 19:09:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t5jsb/so_i_hit_a_big_goal_weightnow_what_do_i_do_lol/

[Rant/Rave] That feel when you have to lie
Created: Fri Aug 11 18:11:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t58yp/that_feel_when_you_have_to_lie/
My coworker said she was hungry and I said "yeah I'm cooking when I get home." She raised her eyebrows and said "You know, I've never seen you eat anything." And another girl was like "Yeah, me either." I was absolutely SCREAMING inside. I said "Oh I just don't like to eat at work! It makes me sleepy."

So as I sit here, laxatives twisting my intestines to knots, hunger roaring at my stomach... I'm happy with the progress I'm making. I can't wait to hear them say "Have you lost weight?".

[Help] Running out of music, please help!
/u/tragicheskiy [175cm | 65.5kg :'( | 21.02 | GW 55kg | -2 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 18:06:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t57w4/running_out_of_music_please_help/
Hey peeps!

So I've been walking heaps and heaps but I am running out of music quickly - if anyone can help with some recommendations for walking/running/exercise music I would really appreciate it!

(Moderator sorry if this is not an appropriate post, please remove it if it is - :)

[Help] There was a little spot of blood after I purged
/u/Jtgonc [5'8 | CW : 166]
Created: Fri Aug 11 18:03:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t5772/there_was_a_little_spot_of_blood_after_i_purged/

[Help] Fasted for 23 hours, then ate 1/4c of rice... gained 6 pounds??????? Why??
/u/MightyMuskrats [🐝5'2 | πŸ‹ | GW 115 | -17 | 22F🐝]
Created: Fri Aug 11 17:33:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t51lo/fasted_for_23_hours_then_ate_14c_of_rice_gained_6/

[Rant/Rave] I hate myself
Created: Fri Aug 11 17:30:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t50zq/i_hate_myself/

[Help] Kind of a weird question about periods...
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Fri Aug 11 16:52:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t4t7o/kind_of_a_weird_question_about_periods/
So I know a lot of people with EDs tend to lose their periods. Based on my last one I felt like I was getting to that point....but not the case.

I've been quite the opposite since getting deeper into my ED. I get them every two weeks and it's as if I feel like I'm going to die. They pretty much knock me out for a few days and I just wAnt to sleep and the pain is crazy.
I know I should go to the doctor as I have a lot of health stuff but I'm not ready for recovery etc.... and am petrified of doctors.

I know ED messes with a lot of levels...Has anyone else experienced this?

[Discussion] The "Eating Issues & Body Image Continuum" from my nutrition book, thought y'all mind find it interesting too
Created: Fri Aug 11 16:39:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t4qgm/the_eating_issues_body_image_continuum_from_my/

[Rant/Rave] *tried to recover* *ends up bingeing every day* *ends up restricting to make up for it*
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" β˜€οΈ attempting recovery β˜€οΈ πŸ‘ tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Fri Aug 11 16:37:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t4q5d/tried_to_recover_ends_up_bingeing_every_day_ends/

[Rant/Rave] I can't do this anymore, I feel broken
/u/Ultimatedream [5'6 | 130 | 21 | -41 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 16:17:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t4lp6/i_cant_do_this_anymore_i_feel_broken/
TL;DR I'm an emotional mess

I'm turning 25 in less than a month and I'm still stuck here. Still around the same weight, binging and restricting to always end up in the same place. I wanted for people to see how sick I was, but not anymore. I just want to be a functioning adult. I have a job, I work 40 hours a week and I'm close to buying a freaking house and adopt a cat. I just want to be able to be normal again.

But I can't. When I start eating, I eat everything I can find. Moderation is something I don't know. I have to fast or eat anything. I'm an emotional mess right now and I don't know how to deal with this. My boyfriend doesn't know, just because he can't understand. I have two friends who know, but I know they've struggled with ED's in the past and I don't want to trigger them. I know I already did so I'm not telling anymore.

I'm just so lost right now and you're the only ones I know I can turn to.

[Rant/Rave] Why is nothing ever straight forward????
/u/ScottishWhale [5'2 | 166lbs | 30.3 | -26lbs | GW 115lbs]
Created: Fri Aug 11 15:08:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t46r7/why_is_nothing_ever_straight_forward/
Hi guys, I'm a long time lurker but never really post. I only seem to post when shit like this happens and I really need support, so here goes!

Today started off really well, I weighed myself and had lost 3lbs! I've been doing over 10k steps and was just feeling well. My fiancΓ© is moving up to my city in a few days and we plan to move into our flat the week after next. So today I bought little things for the flat and have just been in a good mood.

That is until this evening when he sends me a screen shot of a conversation. He was told by his work he would get a transfer to my city no bother and guaranteed hours to fit around his classes... and now today the manager messaged him saying this would no longer be possible????

I've been so excited about living together and now it feels as though it's been snatched away from me. I'm ugly crying because I know without him working we probably won't be able to afford the flat and everything just seems so shitty right now!

I just wanted this to go well 😭😭😭 I can't even be happy about my weight loss because it just doesn't seem good enough any more :(

[Rant/Rave] I'm alone <3
/u/butterflyjellyfish [5'8" | 10 | 27.3 | 34 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 15:04:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t45vd/im_alone_3/
My roommate is gone for the weekend.
I have until Sunday night to binge & purge and go running in the middle of the night and EC stack until I can't see straight.

I went to the gym for two hours yesterday and another two today, I might go again later tonight.

I haven't eaten anything since Wednesday.

I feel flawless.

I feel sick and dizzy and don't want to stand up but I know that I'm flawless.

[Discussion] Anyone else have weird non-weight related insecurities?
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 200 lb | GW: 120 lb | F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 15:00:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t44xa/anyone_else_have_weird_nonweight_related/
Hey guys, I was feeling pretty down today, but this time it wasn't my weight, it was because I have dark hair and light brown eyes. My boyfriend said once before we were even dating that he liked red hair and green eyes the most, and I've just never let go if it :/ I'm not even sure if I don't like them objectively or if I'm just projecting the idea that I'll never be quite good enough onto my own opinion of myself?

But yeah, hair, eyes, my boobs are kind of uneven and I hate them, and I feel like my bone structure is really wide- like my rib cage is huge? These are the things that bum me out the most because I know I'll never really be able to do anything about them.

Does anyone else have little things like this that they hate?

Sometimes I wonder if I really do have BDD.

[Tip] Finally, drinkable alcohol that's not just shots!
Created: Fri Aug 11 14:59:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t44iz/finally_drinkable_alcohol_thats_not_just_shots/

[Help] how do you go about getting a diagnosis, or even just bringing your issues up?
/u/siamesealmeidaa [height:5'5" | CW:95lbs | BMI:15.8| weight lost:43lbs | gender:F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 14:14:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t3u9n/how_do_you_go_about_getting_a_diagnosis_or_even/
Should I just make an appointment for like, a physical? I've been confronted recently about my ED, and I need a prescription refill so I should probably try to Do Somethingβ„’ while I'm there. thank you guys πŸ’–

[Rant/Rave] A girl on Facebook called me a fat bitch so I thought I'd pull myself back to reality and address it.
/u/kimberlyjackson98 [5'4 | CW 223.8 lbs | 39.27| -7 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 13:59:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t3qly/a_girl_on_facebook_called_me_a_fat_bitch_so_i/
I'm back after a long hiatus. I was gonna get better and try to confront my ED and unhealthy relationship with food. What ended up happening was an unhealthy relationship with food and I gained 10lbs. Since yesterday morning I've been fasting. My stomach size had probably quadrupled while I was fooling myself thinking it was okay to over indulge. Really food became my comfort as I was dealing with work stress and relationship issues as well as coming to terms with my sister going back to college. All an amazing recipe to engorge myself.

Well yesterday was my final straw. My sister had left, me and my boyfriend addressed some issues that were long overdue. And a girl on Facebook called me a fat bitch during an argument about racism. I played it off cool, and handled it with as much grace as I could but she was right. And I hate her even more for being a skinny bitch. She made sure to include her weight for some reason? Maybe she has an ED too but now I know she weighs 117lbs.

Anyways I didn't eat all day besides a tablespoon of peanut butter and 2 glasses of OJ as well as 1 glass of water. I started smoking again as well which has helped with curbing my appetite. I'm gonna try to hold off until dinner to eat, as I am cooking my boyfriend dinner because he feels as though I don't love him and am not showing him by reciprocating something. He's truly amazing and I feel this is the least I can do to show him I appreciate all that he does.

Last night while he was driving he was supposed to buy me Taco Bell but they were closed so he came back at 2 am and fell asleep. I woke up and my fatass started crying because after that long day I just wanted to binge. I felt pathetic that I was crying so I went back to sleep too. Looks like I am back to day 1.

[Rant/Rave] rave: went to the convenience store
/u/wowowaka [5'2 | 139 > 112 > 100 (one can dream) | 17F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 13:47:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t3nqy/rave_went_to_the_convenience_store/
....AND DIDN'T COME OUT WITH TWO BAGS FULL OF BINGE FOOD! I mean it probably helps that I already binged last night and so anything but my safe foods sounds absolutely disgusting rn but!!! I'm proud regardless.

I was anxious because my mind began wandering to stuffing an entire pint of ice cream right there in the store but nope, I remained strong! Bought my lunch (coke zero, chicken wrap & fruit for dessert), some chewing gum bc it helps me not binge, and greek yogurt because I'd run out. Not more and not less. Fuck yeah.

It must sound so stupid to normies to be able to buy food without putting a tiny container of ice cream in and out of your basket over and over like 60 times, but fuck it, I'm proud of myself.

[Tip] Tips for not binging??
Created: Fri Aug 11 13:33:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t3k6e/tips_for_not_binging/

[Discussion] Those of you who have been pregnant *discussion*
/u/dontcareifithurts__ [5'4.5 | 113.6 | - 7.6 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 12:38:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t36az/those_of_you_who_have_been_pregnant_discussion/
Mobile, no flair.

Getting married in the fall, fiancΓ© and I are thinking of trying for a baby next year sometime.

We're both finished school, in a good place financially, own a place, have two cars, health insurance (and we live in Canada so medical costs are mostly non-existent), live close to family, and we'll be married. So I feel like I've checked all of the boxes I wanted to check before trying, you know?

I've always wanted to be a Mom, but man... pregnancy, childbirth, and a post-partum body terrify me.

I have like, zero self confidence and I know that I will eat well for the sake of the baby but I'm worried about how wrecked I'll be mentally, having to get bigger and have my body poked and prodded and examined, and how I might accidentally show eating disordered habits in front of my kids one day, or how I'll teach them healthy body image when I don't have it myself.

I've been taking prenatal vitamins so I can hopefully be healthy when we do start trying, but also restricting my calories because I have the wedding dress to fit into first.

Sometimes I worry if I'm even fertile... like maybe I won't be able to get pregnant? Or maybe I'll miscarry? Then I'll feel so awful because I've done it to myself.

I don't have a question I just want to hear your thoughts and experiences with this sort of thing, really.

[Discussion] What's your gym routine when you want to burn a ton of calories?
/u/Jtgonc [5'8 | CW : 166]
Created: Fri Aug 11 12:10:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t2zlk/whats_your_gym_routine_when_you_want_to_burn_a/

[Discussion] [Discussion] What's your gym routine when you want to burn a ton of calories?
Created: Fri Aug 11 12:10:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t2zfh/discussion_whats_your_gym_routine_when_you_want/

[Goal] DUUUUDE my stomach is near flat now!!!!
/u/DirtyxVans [5'5 | CW 151 | GW110 | TF]
Created: Fri Aug 11 12:02:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t2xhv/duuuude_my_stomach_is_near_flat_now/
I say near because I still got a few rolls when I slouch or something, but I can freely stand up and move around and go about my day, and not have to do that weird sucking in your stomach thing lol. I can almost see my hips bone when I lay down wich I'm pretty thrilled about. My sisters just told me she has been bretty jelly of my weight loss wich was cool I told her she can do it to! but I like told her the healthy way to do it lol. l have been waiting for this day since I started at like 198 pushing 200 lbs in January now I'm closer to my goal. On another note I hate when people say I'm getting to far underweight and I should eat more when I'm 140 like dude noooo....that's so not underweight, especially at my height like you haven't even seen where I'm about to get to.

More than halfway to my UGW!
Created: Fri Aug 11 11:31:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t2pk8/more_than_halfway_to_my_ugw/

[Goal] More than halfway to my UGW!
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 11:30:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t2pfs/more_than_halfway_to_my_ugw/
I'm down 31 pounds in the last 3 months, and have 30 pounds to go before I hit my UGW! I may even make it there before Christmas! It feels so *attainable* now.

I'd like to thank everyone in my life who destroyed me mentally and emotionally for getting me to this point. I could've never done it without y'all. <3

[Discussion] Craving sweet foods?
/u/itscirclejerky [5'5 | CW: repulsive| 22.29 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 11:30:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t2p76/craving_sweet_foods/
I've been craving chocolate non-stop for about a week and it's starting to drive me insane.

I thought that by having bits of chocolate at the end of the day as a 'treat' I'd satisfy my craving but that isn't doing anything. I eat 'too much' in my bid to scratch this itch so I fast 24 hours and break my fast with a 'light' meal and eat my chocolate despite being stuffed to the point of nausea.

I think I've been hovering in weight, which is good, but also stressful because I want to reach a certain weight in a month (for my birthday), which isn't going to happen if I'm eating nothing except high calorie sweet things. I've honestly considered just pouring honey into my mouth because we have like 12 bottles of it so mum wouldn't notice if some went missing. It probably won't stop the sugar craving and I know this, but all I want is sugar, specifically chocolate.

I think I might call my GP and ask for advice once they open on Monday.

[Rant/Rave] guys i've figured it out
Created: Fri Aug 11 11:24:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t2nrv/guys_ive_figured_it_out/

[Discussion] When was the last time you were happy?
Created: Fri Aug 11 11:11:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t2key/when_was_the_last_time_you_were_happy/

[Discussion] Has anyone tried Bronkaid for weight loss?
Created: Fri Aug 11 10:34:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t2be6/has_anyone_tried_bronkaid_for_weight_loss/
Heard it's a good appetite suppressant and fat burner taken along with caffeine says work like a charm. I took 1 pill this morning with my skinny coffee which has about 150mg of caffeine...it's about lunch time and I'm not hungry at all

[Other] Memories
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 124.8lbls |19.82|-40 (then +30 lol)| female]
Created: Fri Aug 11 10:21:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t28b5/memories/

[Other] In case you haven't yet heard about Halo Top's PUMPKIN PIE flavor
/u/NerdBird49 [5'5.5" | HW: 216 | LW: 136 | CW: ~150 | UGW: 116 lbs | F 20]
Created: Fri Aug 11 09:59:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t22yi/in_case_you_havent_yet_heard_about_halo_tops/

[Discussion] How many calories does masturbating burn?
Created: Fri Aug 11 09:58:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t22v9/how_many_calories_does_masturbating_burn/

[Rant/Rave] Gained a pound last night. Already binging this morning
Created: Fri Aug 11 09:36:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t1xie/gained_a_pound_last_night_already_binging_this/

[Help] Faking weight for Dr's apt?
/u/mainechick [5'4'' | CW 131 lb | GW 120 | UGW 107]
Created: Fri Aug 11 09:13:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t1s92/faking_weight_for_drs_apt/

[Help] Hydroxycut is giving me seizures. I don't know how to eat normally without it. Any advice?
Created: Fri Aug 11 08:41:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t1kpp/hydroxycut_is_giving_me_seizures_i_dont_know_how/

[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Vyvanse prescriptionc for binge eating. Rage. Premeditated murder.
Created: Fri Aug 11 08:39:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t1kah/rant_vyvanse_prescriptionc_for_binge_eating_rage/
I'm 26, male, 250 lbs, and struggled my entire life in silence. Family and friends have noticed my restricting and binging at times, but they generically know me as guy-with-no-discipline.

I have been all weights. I have fit all stereotypes. When i was a kid i told myself i wanted to be an actor (who doesn't!?) but I'm pretty sure i made that decision because i saw how in-control they were of their weight since they changed it for roles. I wanted to believe i was capable of the same.

I care more about body fat percentage (BF%) since weight doesnt matter as much for us if we are muscular. It is not easy to get muscular without being fat, and without steroids, so don't get too envious.

The hardest part about ED is the difference in how people treat you. It really is the most hurtful part. More hurtful than knee or lower back pain. More than avoiding swimming for the last 10 years of my life.... Just people treating u so nicey nice when you're lean, and shitty when you are overweight.

I don't know who i am losing weight for anymore. But it aint fucking society...not anymore. Sure, i want people to treat me better, but i will always know it's because im good-looking (if i ever get over this and lose weight!). I will always be jaded. But whatever. I still want to lose the weight, and not gain it back like every other time. I'll take the fake niceness of strangers in the future. Maybe even use it to my advantage for monetary gain as some sort of petty personal revenge. Or just generic survival.

Job interviews will be much easier again if i can get back to the physique i used to be. There's no point in applying now. I don't want to fail interviews because of the inverse halo effect. Being more attractive than your interviewer gives you instant psycho-social leverage over them. I didn't write the rules. In fact, i hate them. But it is the way it is. Id rather judge people by their character and how good they are to others. Maybe i still will. But society doesn't. And that's a pill i have to swallow and move on with.

I will never trust people who are good to me when i lose the weight. I will never be able to trust in a relationship, not that that's a bad idea. I will never make truely close friends again because they only hurt you by calling you lazy when your ED gets the best of you and you gain weight. They tell you you are reaching for medical excuses for your laziness when you reach out to them for support and disclose your diagnoses.

I'm done with everything in life except getting to my goal BF% and staying there there forever - til i die. It's sad, but my new sole goal in life is to get to my goal weight. I don't expect a prize at the end. Well, except for people treating me waaaaaaay fucking more respectfully, like they have in the past.

I'm done with everything. No personal accomplishments or life experiences do anything for me if i am overwieght. It robs the fun from EVERYTHING. So I'm done trying to "be happy" in ways other than weight loss.

Current BF%: 37

Goal BF%: 15

I know i still wont like myself. I know I'll have lose skin (was 285lbs a few times in the past 2 years). Theres nothing i can do about it. I'll still never want to be seen shirtless. But at least people won't know off the bat why that is since I'll look normal in clothes. Not that i should care about fucking societal opinions.

I'm done with everything.

Oh yeah. Vyvanse.... Taking it reduces my chances of binging in the day from like 80 to 20%. I've only binged this past month so much because i elected to skip my meds.

Never again, for 90 days. I'm committing to the meds, even if they destroy my sleep and bowels. I'm not taking anymore breaks for 90 consecutive days. Even if i binge, which is unlikely.

At my age, i would know by now if there were any sure-fire way to avoid binging in the day, but there isn't. I used to think exercise prevented binging, but it doesn't. It just reduces the chances to like 55%. That's not enough. Not for my goals. Not for my mental health. Same for dating or socializing. Sometimes the angst of going out fended off binges. But that external validation seeking isn't a way i want to live. I hate society more and more, despite knowing i am a part of the problem (e.g. only dating beautiful women and rather be single than with someone else imperfect like me....yes i know how fucked that is).

This ED has turned me into a basket case. I wish i hadn't outweighed my father at 11 years old. I wish he wasn't proud of how big i was getting since i was taller as well. I wish my mom didn't low-key suffer from depression-fueled eating which my sister and I learned/inherited... My sister was such a beatufil girl. The world could have been her oister. Even her skinny friends were envious of how pretty she was and complimented her on it. Now she's sitting at +300lbs. Still pretty ofcourse, but i can tell that this life will be hard for her when she approaches her 40s. I hope my sharing of the ED stuff with her will help her avoid medical suffering in the future because she seems to be on the verge and I'm realising now that family is all I'll have. She wants to get married and have kids. She has a bf. I hope she has the health to carry through with her pursuit of happiness.

Anyway, this turned into a rant. But my point is i know i need to stick to the vyvanse no matter what. I need to murder ED. God knows he's tried his best to get me.

I'm a fighter at heart. National champion as a teen. Fought off dozens of boys who tried jumping me as a teen because they thought the extra fat on me meant i was out of shape and was an easy target... Race was a reason as well but that's another story... I've been absolutely filled with rage my entire life. Mostly because i hate myself. Now i know it's not me i hate. It's ED. I have one last fight in me.

**I am going to kill ED**

God knows he's tried his best to get me to commit suicide so many times since i was 6. It's time to return the favour. He's fucking done. I'm coming for him. Piece of shit has no chance.

/rant. :'(

[Help] Who here has lost weight gained from recovery and how were you successful?
/u/ballerinainpain [5'5" | 117 | 19.45 | GW: 75]
Created: Fri Aug 11 07:50:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t19km/who_here_has_lost_weight_gained_from_recovery_and/

[Rant/Rave] Ah. Living with an ED....
Created: Fri Aug 11 07:49:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t19e2/ah_living_with_an_ed/

[Rant/Rave] Being constantly told I look 'healthy'.
/u/timetofadeaway [5'2 | CW 118 | LW 91 | GW1 110 | UGW 90 | F20]
Created: Fri Aug 11 07:49:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t19d2/being_constantly_told_i_look_healthy/
A few compliments I've been given since restricting again (day 45, average 750kcal).

'Wow, you look so healthy, what have you been doing'

'Your face is so healthy looking, ***** told me you've given up meat, I need to try this'

'Your father told me you're looking really well, keep it up!'

On one hand this is lovely, they are only being lovely, and I know that (despite still not being able to face the scale) I am doing something right. (My flair is from my last visit to the doctors, 1 and a half months ago).

On the other hand I wish I could tell the truth that the last word I need to hear right now is healthy. Not only is it reinforcing the idea that restriction is actually the best medicine for all my mental ailments but it's also making me feel that I'm not doing enough, not restricting enough, not losing enough.

Is it evil of me that I wish they would say I look thin, or even unhealthy?

[Other] Goodbye, and thanks
/u/nycthrowaway51 [5'3" | CW: 89 | GW: 87 | M]
Created: Fri Aug 11 07:38:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t16yp/goodbye_and_thanks/
I think I'm finally done with starving myself. I'm not technically at my goal weight right now, but I think it's good enough, and I feel sort of reluctant to go any farther. I'll try hard to not restrict and to just eat like I used to from now on. Though there'll probably be times when I feel like restricting again, I'll try to get past those urges and move on. Plus, even though I guess I have anorexia, I've always loved good-tasting food.

For some weird reason, I think I'm going to miss starving myself. I know it's messed up, but I think I'll miss feeling the bones in my hands and wrists, having blue fingernails, and just being really skinny overall. But I know being this underweight is very dangerous, and I know I have to stop.

Sorry if this post has been all over the place. I honestly don't really know why I'm writing this; I guess it's to release some of my thoughts and feelings to people who I know will understand.

I haven't been a very active member in this community, and I've only been here for about a month. But from the time I've spent in here, I can confidently say that this sub is one of the most supportive, understanding subs I've been in. Thanks everyone, I wish the best for all of you.

[Discussion] I know I have a problem but I don't know if I want to fix it
Created: Fri Aug 11 07:26:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t14m4/i_know_i_have_a_problem_but_i_dont_know_if_i_want/
I know that my kind isn't popular in the sub but I have body dysmorphia. Thing is that I'm a 17 old male so that means that instead of having the normal ED I focus on training and eat only with the purpose of fueling my muscles.

I've met plenty lf guys who went crazy about getting shredded and big, specially now that summer is in sight, but this has been going for far too long for it to be a temporary obsession.

People look weirdly at me for the inmense amount of food that I eat and constantly ridiculize it, but it doesn't really bother me because I know that I'm much healthier than everyone I know. Any of them calculate what they eat? Count their macros? Hell, do they even know what they should be eating?

It slowly became an unhealthy obsession as months passed but I don't know if my mind made it or the comments of the people did it.

Every time I see someone after some time they tell me I look huge, every time I talke off my hoodie the compliments start coming in, girls ask me to flex and feel my arms. This surely sounds like a humblebrag but it really isn't, how can this be any good if 1) they are probably hurting my mind 2) the only opinion I really care about is myself's and I believe I'm looking small as fuck.

Next month is when shit will get serious, the cut will start and I will have to lose like 15lbs if done right without losing my precious muscle, which is sadly impossible.

What do you think is better? To treat yourself and be "cured" from the obsession and become fat/skinny again or to keep going and build an incredible body at the cost of your mental health?

[Rant/Rave] I ate 4 slices of pizza yesterday and gained 1.8lbs
Created: Fri Aug 11 07:18:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t12zv/i_ate_4_slices_of_pizza_yesterday_and_gained_18lbs/
Not even like shitty greasy pizza. It was 1000 calories total as per the restaurant website and total calories for the day were still under 1500. I also went for a huge walk afterwards.

Like, I know it's just water weight because glycogen, but FML. Losing weight is the only thing that makes me happy anymore and now I have to waterfast all weekend.

[Goal] Self-challenge: How small can I get?
/u/justalittlesmaller [5'2" | 99 | 18.1 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 07:16:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t12i0/selfchallenge_how_small_can_i_get/

[Discussion] I'm a decade into disordered eating. How did it begin for you?
Created: Fri Aug 11 07:15:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t12gw/im_a_decade_into_disordered_eating_how_did_it/
Edit: I just want to thank everyone who has been courageous and shared their story with us. I've read them all and my heart hurts for what everyone has been through.

If anyone needs a friend, I am always around. PM me or add on πŸ‘ nitrostout.


I'm 24 currently, for reference.

I recall being 14 and laying on the couch with my (ex)boyfriend. He was touching my sides and stomach and said "you know, I really love skinny girls. You should try losing weight, you'd be hotter". This is the first time I'd ever heard someone talk about my weight this way. I had always thought I was pretty normal. I was about 145lb (5'9"), but didn't work out or play any sports.

I was in love with the guy in the infatuated, lusty way that 14 year old girls with raging hormones are, so I started looking online for dieting tips. I found one of those super old school pro-Ana websites and started reading the "rules". It looked like a religion to me. I remember thinking "wow, this is fucked up", but the way they worded things shamed "fat" (aka me, in my mind) people so much that I felt like I was at the very bottom of society and knew I needed to change. The knowledge tainted me.

I started obsessively learning about calories and nutrition on my own. The multiple weigh-ins every day began, as well as body checks, measuring my waist, wrapping fingers around my wrists to make sure they were small enough. I got a treadmill (I don't even know how I paid for it) and put it in my room. I'd turn off the air, put on a sweatshirt with a hood and sweatpants and run for as long as I could. I ate nothing but apples and Frosted Flakes for a good 3 months or so and lost 15-20 pounds rapidly over the summer.

I joined the tennis team to try to be more "normal" and active. I was the worst one by far and I was constantly blacking out and in pain from the heat because my body wasn't getting what it needed. I'd watch my teammates go out and eat huge plates of food and look thin and toned. I wondered why I was so broken that I couldn't eat like that. Aren't teenagers supposed to have crazy high metabolisms?

The praise I got for loosing weight! Oh, the praise. I was on cloud 9. So much male attention. Suddenly all the boys were after me. My mom was even jealous and tried to follow some of my tips. Everyone was complimenting me on my weight loss. My boyfriend was all over me, was proud to show me off, and wanted sex more than ever. Ffwd a month of so, bf goes on vacation and has a threesome with two girls in Florida. Showed me pics of them. They were perfect and even skinnier than me. We broke up and I spiraled.

I basically stopped eating until I was blacking out and passing out in my classes. Someone contacted my mom and she started forcing me to eat a little more. I had all the tricks up my sleeve to prevent this from happening, so I stayed at 109lb for a good year. I was inexperienced and didn't realize that the path I was taking would literally lead to my inevitable death from starvation, so my body went into full repair mode by senior year of high school. This was around the same time I started resorting to sex and sexual attention to feed my need for validation. A series of terribly abusive relationships followed, the most recent being a year ago with a guy who I now have a personal protection order against.

When I was in repair mode, my mom encouraged me to eat as much as I could. I don't know if she meant harm, but it felt like she was taunting me. We would go to the store and buy cartons of ice cream, cheese, chips, etc. I'd sit in front of the TV and eat everything with reckless abandon. I would try to vomit and couldn't. I'd try to exercise but was too depressed. I blew up to 158lb. I hated myself. I was a sloth because I was so depressed about my body. I cut off all of my friends. None of them understood the pain I was in. I wanted to kill myself but didn't have the courage. I felt truly worthless.

I moved out of my moms and immediately went into restriction mode again and basically never turned back. This was done with the "help" of cocaine, nicotine, caffeine, alcohol, adderall, and tramadol which I was horribly addicted to from 17-21. It's been 6 years since that day and I still haven't wavered much, aside from teetering between 110-125lb max.

I basically destroyed my reputation by becoming a cam girl (showing my face) during this time. Edit: I should clarify... very conservative midwestern town, family is conservative Christians so they want nothing to do with me. Thankfully I still have my mom. I'm not embarrassed but I'm sad, because people judge me for this time in my life due to closed mindedness. To be honest, I enjoyed doing it, because it didn't require the same amount of energy that a "normal" job did, and I made good money. But.. that's life.

So here I am now, 24, in a relationship with an older man I'm not sure I deserve, who is older and mature and can "handle" my past. I have the knowledge that he likes thicker girls yet I continue to starve myself. Go figure.

Hell of a disease it is.

[Goal] Finally! I lost 100lbs. I'm 5'5 and went from 294 to 193. I've still got a ways to go but the biggest hurtle is over!
/u/NotStephany [5'5| 193 | 32.49 | -101lbs | F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 07:04:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t103m/finally_i_lost_100lbs_im_55_and_went_from_294_to/

[Help] Eating less with family.
Created: Fri Aug 11 06:59:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t0z7h/eating_less_with_family/

[Rant/Rave] Rant| Woman at work lecturing me on Truvia
Created: Fri Aug 11 06:44:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t0w4t/rant_woman_at_work_lecturing_me_on_truvia/
This happened not even 15 minutes ago so I'm still pissed and I just need to rant to someone who gets it. So I have a giant ass mug that I take to work every morning to use for coffee. It holds a lot of coffee and keeps me full enough that I don't need to eat anything for most of the day. I put 3 Truvia packets in it. Sue me for liking sweet coffee.

So I'm minding my business and making fresh coffee for a couple of the urns we have in the break room, and this old bat comes up and goes "*Oh* my *goooddddd*, you use *three* Truvia?!" So I kind of awkwardly laugh and go "Haha, yep. It's a pretty big mug."

And she just starts going on and on about how bad all sugars and artificial sweeteners are, and how her *"nutritionist friend"* told her all about what it does to your body and how everyone should live a completely sugar-free life like she does.


[Discussion] August 11th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 06:38:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t0v1r/august_11th_2017_question_of_the_day/
How many stamps are in your passport?

[Thinspo] Long hair and skinny legs
/u/cheesycreamylasagna [5"2 | CW: 122 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 06:15:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t0qo3/long_hair_and_skinny_legs/

[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! August 11, 2017
Created: Fri Aug 11 06:13:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t0qam/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread_august/
This is the weekly picture thread for August 11, 2017.

Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*

3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.

4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**


Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 11, 2017
Created: Fri Aug 11 06:13:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t0q9w/daily_food_diary_august_11_2017/
This is a daily food diary thread for August 11, 2017.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)

[Help] [Help] How to deal with people congratulating you when they see you eat?
Created: Fri Aug 11 06:05:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t0ouu/help_how_to_deal_with_people_congratulating_you/
Ever since I began to start losing hair, and bruising incredibly easily, people have started to take notice of how little I've actually been eating. I've managed to keep my restricting quiet and away from most people, but one of the people who actually knew, told everyone the clear reason why I was losing hair was because of malnutrition. Then everyone really did begin to realise.

Now, every time I eat, whether it be a chicken nugget or 3/4 of a brownie, I'm congratulated. It is such an awful feeling having people cheer for you eating, when all you feel like doing is throwing up, or exercising until you feel sick. I don't know what to do, and with my hair falling out, people are really trying to push me to eat. I can't handle this pressure.

I tried, but it has just made me want to restrict harder, exercise harder, push me harder. I am not ready to be eating anything more than 600-700 calories a day. I used to be okay with just seeing food, but now even the sight of it makes me feel sick and anxious.

How do you cope when people are cheering you on but you don't want to keep going?

[Thinspo] Back Side Thinspiration 08.77
Created: Fri Aug 11 05:46:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t0lls/back_side_thinspiration_0877/

[Discussion] DAE have food nightmares??
/u/fiberopticjellyfish [5'2" | CW 156.8 | GW 110 | BMI 29.8 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 05:43:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t0l45/dae_have_food_nightmares/
Hey everyone! This is my first post in here so I guess this is kinda my introduction. I've had ENDOS for 11 years. I used to lean more towards purging, until I met my now husband at 17. Now I restrict after binging. Anyways I'm currently in a restricting phase and I was wondering if anyone else has nightmares about eating way too much food. Last night I had a dream I ate a huge cinnamon roll and a bag of lays 😳. I woke up in a panic before realizing it didn't actually happen. I really enjoy this subreddit. I've been lurking for a week or so and I finally feel like I belong somewhere. Thanks for being amazing guys!

[Rant/Rave] [RAVE] tinder date said I weigh "like, 70 pounds!"
/u/ri-ri [Height 5'3 | CW 105 | GW 95 | Female]
Created: Fri Aug 11 05:29:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t0isk/rave_tinder_date_said_i_weigh_like_70_pounds/
First of all just wanted to say HAPPY FRIDAY! πŸ’š and if you don't already have me on peach add me @ goldpetals

Okay soooo last night I had a date with a guy I met on tinder. We've been chatting for a while and have a few friends in common. Anyways he was talking about the restaurant he works at and how he sometimes has to deal with irrational or obscene customers. I made a joke I would come into the restaurant he works at and make a ruckus. Then he went on to make a joke about how he would actually prefer someone like me who "weighs like 70 pounds" would do that because then he could just "pick them up with one hand and throw them out" πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ is it weird that my heart skipped a beat? Hana

[Discussion] DAE get really bloated & go up weight for a couple days after taking laxatives?
/u/Raining-Lemons [5"2 | CW 111.8 | GW 100 | UGW 95 | 26F | πŸ‘ RainingLemons]
Created: Fri Aug 11 05:04:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t0eur/dae_get_really_bloated_go_up_weight_for_a_couple/
Just wondering if this is a normal thing. Any time I take them, my stomach is sick for days & my weight seems to either go up or maintain when it should be going down.

Anyone else?

[Intro] Intro/Rock Bottom
Created: Fri Aug 11 04:42:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t0bp6/introrock_bottom/
I'm posting this now so I can start being accountable. Long time lurker, rare poster. I've been battling ED for probably 4-5 years, was maintaining at 130 (maybe subtly trying to keep losing), but in the past year I've gained 25lbs... I feel repulsive. My LT boyfriend and I broke up two months ago and I've been binging ever since. I signed up for the usual dating apps to get back out there but I honestly feel embarrassed showing up to dates. I'm not this fat person, I'm a gross fat shell of what I used to be.

I hired my PT on again for twice a week to keep me going and kick my ass back into shape, but the food is my main problem. I don't understand why I can't just be like other people and go on a normal diet and stick to it. I'll be good at 1000-1200 for a few days/until the weekend and then I'll binge and lose control again. I'm so frustrated and unhappy.

Not sure what I'm trying to accomplish with this post other than saying hi! And that I'm going to post more often for support and to keep myself on track because being this unhappy all the time in my body cannot last.

My stats (because I can't figure out how to add them): 5'10/F/CW: 156/HW: 156/LW: 132/GW: 125

Flair: rant/rave?

[Discussion] Weird things you eat to feel like you've eaten but aren't many calories
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 04:11:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t07a0/weird_things_you_eat_to_feel_like_youve_eaten_but/
Nutritional yeast and low carb ketchup happened last night, pretty tasty

[Rant/Rave] I just ate five saltines covered with soy sauce, vegenaise, and powdered parm
Created: Fri Aug 11 04:05:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t06i9/i_just_ate_five_saltines_covered_with_soy_sauce/
Apparently I was craving salt after only consuming alcohol all day. It was fucking delicious, and I'm gonna be bloated as fuck tomorrow.

[Rant/Rave] I'm not good at anything.
/u/Proednc [177cm | CW 135 | BMI 19.10 | GW 120 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 03:18:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t001j/im_not_good_at_anything/
I like to believe I'm a nice/friendly person but it's so hard for me to keep friends around long-term. Like, I can make friends with people I first meet but it never lasts long. I also don't feel like I fit in with any of the friends that I have been able to keep around long-term. I don't mind being by myself most of the time, but anytime I want to hangout with someone, I feel as though I have no one that I genuinely want to hangout with.

I don't belong in my university program. I didn't have the experience that everyone else did when they applied for the program, and I'm not getting any of the experience that fellow students are currently getting during the program (possibly due to my own laziness/not giving a shit?). I've gotten to a point where I'm so sick of my program that I'm literally forgetting important information because I just don't care anymore, which in the end is making it harder to just get my shit done so I can leave. I'm so close to being done though, that it would be stupid of me to quit, plus I wouldn't be able to find a stable job without it. Fuck, I don't even know if I'll be able to find a job once I have the degree, or if I'll even like the job I end up getting.

I'm super shitty at sleeping which doesn't help anything. I'm exhausted every single day with no explanation why. I've taken sleep tests and gone to my doctor and there's apparently no explanation? My lack of sleep affects everything I do at work or home because I'm not functional/productive.

I'm not even "good" at having an ED. I always feel like I'm counting calories wrong or eating too much and not losing any weight no matter how much I restrict.

Literally the only thing I'm semi-good at is taking care of my SO and pets, and doing stuff around the house.

I feel like such a failure and I have no idea what the fuck to do about it. I'm too fucking tired to do anything about it.

[Intro] I'm back after gaining a shit ton of weight
/u/lightfeathers [5'4" | CW 112 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 03:16:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6szzsm/im_back_after_gaining_a_shit_ton_of_weight/
Reintroduction, I guess?

I've missed you guys so much. I don't know if some of you remember me/know me but I used to be super active last year.

I tried to commit suicide a few months ago (took 40+ pills) so my doctor stopped prescribing me Ritalin LA. This caused me to start binging every single day. Like, 2000-4000 cals. I gained 30+ pounds and I want to kill myself more than ever. Only thing stopping me is having people see my disgusting body when I'm dead, lol.

[Rant/Rave] Feeling super good today!
/u/dahee3697 [5'1.5" | CW: 120 | GW: 100 | F | 19]
Created: Fri Aug 11 01:57:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6szpsh/feeling_super_good_today/
The past few days I've felt like shit, I was super bloated from my period and I felt like a big fat failure esp since my scale's battery died and I haven't been able to replace it. Anyway, I got my wisdom teeth taken out the first day of my period. I usually eat a lot during my period but I couldn't this week bc my gum clots had to heal, of course. I've been eating soup and ice cream everyday and today I felt a little thinner when I looked in the mirror. I don't know why but I decided to try on a pair of shorts I bought that have been feeling waaay too tight on me for the past two months and they weren't totally uncomfortable anymore? Then I went on trying on almost everything in my closet and everything felt a little less snug. It was so nice! I also feel awesome today because I recently changed my daily calorie limit to 500 calories and all I had was a can of soup (120 cal) and half a serving of gatorade (40 cal) and I burned off 535 calories from walking. Obviously I was starving and just ended up eating some ice cream too and logged it as 2 servings (300 cal) even though I probably didn't actually have two servings. If I wanted to I could literally eat 500 something calories more worth of whatever but I wont. I have never felt more in control. The best part? I have to do it all over again soon because I still have two wisdom teeth left in my mouth.

Bmi calculators
/u/afycsoem [5'2 | CW 133lbs | BMI 37.30 | GW 80lbs]
Created: Fri Aug 11 01:55:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6szpis/bmi_calculators/

[Tip] Tips to lose weight quickly
Created: Fri Aug 11 01:35:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6szmyf/tips_to_lose_weight_quickly/

[Rant/Rave] I can't believe I'm so close
/u/gobtastic [5'7" | CW: 122 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 01:32:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6szmkk/i_cant_believe_im_so_close/

this relapse began in late February this year, and I weighed 72 kg as my SW.

I weighed myself this morning, and finally, after plateauing and fucking up for ages...

49.9 kg.

my goal is 44.4 (I like the fact that it's all the same number and 7 stone sounds perfect), but I never thought I'd get here. I'm a little nervous it's some kind of cosmic joke or that my scales are wonky but ahhhhh!!!!

[Goal] Buying clothes
/u/theironyengine [F26 | CW 130 | UGW 115 ]
Created: Thu Aug 10 23:07:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sz1ez/buying_clothes/
I had to pick the extra small size at Joe Fresh first because I could see that the small was too big just by how it hung on the rack.

Even extra small is loose on me but it is Joe Fresh so I think they size larger but still!!!

Small joys.

[Other] Just dug food out of the trash for the first time..
/u/RedditRanOutOfNamess [5'9 | GW: 120 | -15 | F20]
Created: Thu Aug 10 22:18:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sythr/just_dug_food_out_of_the_trash_for_the_first_time/
Someone please tell me I'll be okay because I fucking hate myself

[Rant/Rave] That moment when pants that couldnt fit 2 months ago can slid off without unbuttoning.
Created: Thu Aug 10 22:13:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6syslp/that_moment_when_pants_that_couldnt_fit_2_months/

[Rant/Rave] Im so close to loosing 100lbs.
/u/NotStephany [5'5| 193 | 32.49 | -101lbs | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 22:06:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6syr6o/im_so_close_to_loosing_100lbs/
Technically I haven't lost 100lbs, I've lost 99lbs and im sooo close. I've been waiting for this day for nearly 5 years, the first 3 years I lost 70lbs, but then I gained it alllll back.

After I lose this last pound Ill finally be able to share my weight on here. I know you guys would *never* judge me but I was so heavy that I just felt too embarrassed to share. I was certainly sure I was the heaviest person on this sub at one point.

I haven't weighed since Monday and I've been restricting hard core all week. I used to weigh every day but it was too hard on me mentally so to keep some sanity in my life I only weigh on Mondays and Fridays.

So tmrw i will weigh and find out if I've lost that one pound. Please...pray for me.

[Rant/Rave] What am i DOING
/u/tacehtelle [5"6 | 121 | 19.61 :( | 5 lbs :( | Female]
Created: Thu Aug 10 22:02:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6syqi3/what_am_i_doing/
Seriously, what am I doing??????? Like why am I even here???? To be skinny????? Why do I even want to be skinny????? Seriously I feel like I cant enjoy anything anymore. I mean i'm 14 I should be outside and having sleepovers but I just sit inside all day and count how many calories i've eaten. I have sunk down this hole before but i've always gotten out. But this round, I just fell straight down to the bottom of the self hatred pit.

[Other] When you binge super hard but are too ashamed to log everything you ate
/u/leberef [5'10 | CW 156.8 | SW 205 | GW 120 | M]
Created: Thu Aug 10 21:26:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6syk85/when_you_binge_super_hard_but_are_too_ashamed_to/

[Discussion] Plateaus
Created: Thu Aug 10 21:20:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6syj5f/plateaus/

[Rant/Rave] Welp, Thursday
Created: Thu Aug 10 21:15:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6syi9c/welp_thursday/
Hey y'all,

Thought I was managing my shit, but apparently I spent all of last week stuck in a b/p loop since I was living alone in a hotel for work and just stole a purse full of donuts from a concert so I could cs all the way to the subway. Rats love me and apparently, I'm deep in it for the first time in a couple years. 27 is the new 17. Hope y'all are having a less weird Thursday than I am.

[Rant/Rave] Liquor doesn't cause all of my problems but it definitely accentuates the problems I have
/u/northdakotanowhere [5'7 | CW:125 | BMI:19.5 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 20:53:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sye1t/liquor_doesnt_cause_all_of_my_problems_but_it/
I haven't drank in a month. Up until tonight. Haven't smoked weed in 220 days. Up until tonight. We usually stay in. Tonight we went out.

I can stay in control in my predictable environment and routine. Whenever I go out though, I lose control. I wasn't planning on drinking at all tonight. But we went out. And it was different. So I was only going to have one drink. But then my buzz wasn't strong enough. Even though I had stayed under 200 calories all day. So I decided another one wouldn't hurt. Then we ordered food. I ordered a salad which I figured would be good. But I got it and it was 75% cheese, and, 25% croutons. Oh there was some iceberg lettuce hiding under the cheese. So I gave that to my boyfriend for leftovers. I took a piece of cheese pizza, had a 3rd drink. Still had the state of mind to track all these calories. Which I was still under!

But I went to the bathroom and purged. For the first time in over a month. I only purge when I lose control. And tonight I lost control. I feel so sober! But then I talk freely to my boyfriend and regret it soon after. He didn't need to know I purged. Especially because he shuts down and then I assume he's mad at me and going to finally dump me.

I don't feel like he should worry. But it's his right. Throwing up in a public bathroom is a little worrisome. But all I feel is drunk and oh so guilty.

At least I didn't cut.

There's always a silver lining.

[Rant/Rave] intermittent fasting?
/u/hayleystark [5'4"|NB]
Created: Thu Aug 10 20:48:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6syd5b/intermittent_fasting/
i just want to say i think its bullshit. i hate when people bring it up when talking about diets as if that is a healthy option.

anyways. i've inadvertently been doing it the last week. i wake up at 830-9ish and dont really eat breakfast walk dogs from 10-1130, no time for food. i work from 12-8, 30 minute break but i don't like eating in front of new people/havent been able to make myself lunches. get home around 845 (30 min drive back, 15 min walk from car bc of parking in a city), cook a quick meal (or order pizza). and recently i've just.... not been bingeing. and it feels good. the fact that it feels good scares me. i don't want to restrict anymore. in the past i went crazy and dropped 50lbs in 2 months, got down to my lowest 118 which now seems impossible to me. i'm 176 now on a good day and it is mostly muscle. or is that just what i tell myself???

this is such bullshit. i wish i had people i could really talk to about this but it may trigger them and/or they are tired of hearing about it. i havent been able to find a therapist in my new city yet.

i want this to be working but i also don't want it to get worse.

ugh sorry for the rant :(

[Discussion] [discussion] Anybody have any experience with the HCG diet?
/u/rizzie_ [5'2F CW:128 GW:110 ||πŸ‘ rizzie_]
Created: Thu Aug 10 20:45:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sycms/discussion_anybody_have_any_experience_with_the/

[Goal] I've decided to do a liquid fast starting tomorrow. We'll see how far I get.
/u/MightyMuskrats [🐝5'2 | πŸ‹ | GW 115 | -17 | 22F🐝]
Created: Thu Aug 10 20:36:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6syazo/ive_decided_to_do_a_liquid_fast_starting_tomorrow/

[Discussion] Is anyone else discouraged by their ugly face?
/u/thinandmints [5'4 | 113 | 19.4 | -18 | F | πŸ‘ same username]
Created: Thu Aug 10 20:36:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6syato/is_anyone_else_discouraged_by_their_ugly_face/
Idk it feels like even if I weigh 80 pounds my face is still a 4/10 on a good day, and more often than not I just look kind of stupid. It just gets really depressing when I look at some parts of my body like yeah! maybe that will look good someday! Then i look up like psych b you still look like a frog goblin

[Goal] Goal: To get back to when I was this skinny
Created: Thu Aug 10 20:34:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6syaki/goal_to_get_back_to_when_i_was_this_skinny/

[Discussion] Thoughts on Kpop diets?
Created: Thu Aug 10 20:23:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sy89n/thoughts_on_kpop_diets/

[Discussion] Delusions and Knuckle Sores
/u/spaceeeeeeeeecadet [158cm | cw 52 | 21.54 | ugw 40 | 22F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 20:10:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sy5pl/delusions_and_knuckle_sores/
There's a sore on my right index finger knuckle.
I didn't think much of it the next few days, just a scratch, like all the other everyday, inexplicable wear and tear.
Until I was leaning over the toilet, puffy faced, eyes gauging with saliva running down wrist to elbow, that my teeth rested in the same excruciating spot.

In my own skepticism I examined the sore closely. I could have gotten this cut from anywhere, right? It was a reddish brown scrape indented into my skin. It was deeper and wider on one side with a small notch that tapered to a point with a smaller, shallower cut next to it.

I don't even purge. At least, that's what I told myself. That's what I keep telling myself. Until my delusion caught up with me. Until I dislodged my stringy finger from my throat, scraping the throbbing sore on my knuckle, I realized that this is real. My eating disorder is real.

I put my fingers where I wiggled them at the back of my throat. It felt strange to do that for any other reason than to make myself vomit. I don't even know why I checked at all. I knew I didn't have to.

The truth is I knew all along. I could tell by the marks they were a scraping motion repeated in the same spot. My mother was a dentist after all. It was a clear K9 and incisor spacing with wound marks that fit the bill. But somehow I felt compelled to prove that I did this. It was me standing trial against my own ED delusion.

In a fucked up way, my ED brain needed to be demonstrated the evidence. I needed to go through all the motions, logical step by logical step. Russel's sign is something I had only ever read about. And in a fucked up way, intoxicated and reeling in my self-destruction, I felt quietly accomplished.

[Help] How quickly can you can weight?
/u/nycthrowaway51 [5'3" | CW: 89 | GW: 87 | M]
Created: Thu Aug 10 20:08:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sy5fa/how_quickly_can_you_can_weight/

[Rant/Rave] Had a really bad binge day and I hate myself
Created: Thu Aug 10 19:45:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sy0xp/had_a_really_bad_binge_day_and_i_hate_myself/
I've eaten/drank so many calories today and I'm scared i've undone my hard work from the last couple of weeks. I had a milkshake earlier and a small cake bar and then someone at work brought in muffins and I had one of those and also I drank regular coke not diet today and I feel like a whale :(

[Goal] I worked out on the elliptical for the first time tonight!
Created: Thu Aug 10 19:37:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sxzct/i_worked_out_on_the_elliptical_for_the_first_time/
I bought the elliptical last Saturday at a yard sale for get this..... $40!!!! Yeah, you read that right. It's not broke, it does work, lol. I did approximately 13 minutes and burned 154 calories. I stopped probably every minute, sometimes two or three times, but I got through it! What exercises should I do for my thighs beforehand so they don't bother me as much when exercising? I am so proud of myself. And it's in the garage and not inside so that helped me sweat more! I NEED to keep this up.

[Discussion] I made myself stop b/p-ing and having purged since August first. But I can't stop throwing up??
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" β˜€οΈ attempting recovery β˜€οΈ πŸ‘ tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Thu Aug 10 19:36:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sxz5b/i_made_myself_stop_bping_and_having_purged_since/
I threw up multiple times on a boat last weekend then today I threw up multiple times, but my doctor said it was from the pain meds I was pumped full of.

Is my body still being damaged from this puking? I swear I'm not making myself do it at all!! I hate the feeling of purging and I don't want to throw up :(

[Discussion] DAE really like thin hands as well as wrists?
Created: Thu Aug 10 19:33:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sxyod/dae_really_like_thin_hands_as_well_as_wrists/

Phentermine Results?
Created: Thu Aug 10 19:29:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sxxtm/phentermine_results/

[Help] Question for those of you who have addressed / are currently addressing ED stuff in therapy:
/u/flatout_ [5'4 |110 lb | 18.9 | GW 100 lb | 24F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 19:26:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sxx57/question_for_those_of_you_who_have_addressed_are/
When you were seeking out a therapist (if you had to find one for yourself), did you specifically look for ones who specialize in ED?

I've been in therapy for almost a decade now, switching therapists frequently bc of how often I moved, but I haven't ever broached the topic of my ED (probably bc until recently, I was dealing w so many other extraneous bullshit crises that it was the v least of my worries). I'm now (again!!) in the position of having to find a new therapist, and I'm wondering if I should restrict my search to those who list ED among their specialties.

What are your thoughts?? Have you had positive experiences w therapists who don't specialize in ED? Have you had to educate them, or are they all pretty conversant w ED issues to begin with???

[Thinspo] 5 down from last post 😍
Created: Thu Aug 10 19:15:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sxus9/5_down_from_last_post/

[Rant/Rave] Company training day, "mandatory" lunch at Blaze Pizza?
/u/ayvyns [5'7β€œ | 130 | 20.4 | -7 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 18:46:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sxp1a/company_training_day_mandatory_lunch_at_blaze/
The email also said not to clock out, that HR would clock out "for us". Lol wat? I freaking hate how vague my company is. Like bitch am I paid for this time that you are compelling me to spend at Blaze pizza with coworkers or not? Even if you are paying me, am I actually obligated to waive this meal break? If you are not paying me, then I'm not compelled to do anything.

Either way I'm not eating anything at Blaze.

[Rant/Rave] Binged for three days,
/u/Fatalope [5'4| CW 150 | GW 104 |HW 168 | 19 F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 18:33:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sxmma/binged_for_three_days/
So Tuesday was my fiancee birthday, we went to my parents house and got Chinese. I ate some at my moms house but the rest at home. Usually is only eat three bites. I also had a ton of chips(American) and three cups of juice with who knows how many calories Binge day one.

Binge day two: out to dinner with his family, went to a roadhouse, my meal was 1325 calories -.- that was just the entree, not including the fried pickles (my weakness) and potato wedges, and regular soda.

Binge day three: out to dinner with his grandparents. Went to a very expensive restaurant with seafood and steak house. Not a fan of steak, can't eat fish and allergic to soft shelled crabs. Had to get something salad bar was free, legit could only get shrimp scampi and it wasn't a tiny serving by any means.

I feel so fat I've gained 3 pounds. I hate myself, hopefully restricting the next month will help. Probs not cause I'm a failure.

But hry, i fit into my jeans from high school again. So there's that

[Intro] Really having a hard time
/u/theclumsykittty [5'3| CW: 108| GW: 95 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 18:31:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sxm58/really_having_a_hard_time/
Hey guys! I'm pretty new to reddit but I've been lurking for the past few days and thought I would say hello!

I've been in recovery for the past 5 years with only one relapse and a few tiny slip ups here and there. In the past 48 hours I have been insanely triggered and its really pushing me towards relapse. It's been so long but the thought of beginning to restrict again makes me excited. I want to be satisfied with myself again. I don't really know what to do but any support would be wonderful!

[Other] My mom went to the store alone and now SHE'S BRINGING BACK 7 PINTS OF HALO TOP
Created: Thu Aug 10 18:22:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sxkba/my_mom_went_to_the_store_alone_and_now_shes/
I was planning on fasting tomorrow too..but i'll do that on Saturday or Sunday I guess c:

[Other] Ask and ye shall receive: couldn't convince parents, but got this right after checking out
/u/janesavage [170 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 18F ]
Created: Thu Aug 10 18:22:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sxk63/ask_and_ye_shall_receive_couldnt_convince_parents/

[Discussion] Does anyone else here have POTS?
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64" | 119# | 20.9 BMI | -104# | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 18:15:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sxivt/does_anyone_else_here_have_pots/
Not the cooking utensils. The nervous system defect.

Edit: Apparently my flair is outdated. 125 at the moment. Pathetic.

[Help] i'm simultaneously freaking out while also happy.
/u/skinnylove73 [5'10 | 124 | 17.35 | -16 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 18:14:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sxinr/im_simultaneously_freaking_out_while_also_happy/
so, i have always had very irregular periods. i didn't even start my period until my senior year of high school. i rarely have them so i started taking medication and birth control to help regulate them and they have been regular for about five months. but i am currently 6 days late and dating someone and remembering that i may have fucked up my BC. its also very plausible that i could just be not having it. i am so stressed and i hate this. any advice besides a test? or similar situations?

[Discussion] Restricting/overexercising at different ages
/u/selkieb [5'3 | 112 | 21 BMI | LW 80 | GW 110 | UGW 100 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 17:43:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sxcdy/restrictingoverexercising_at_different_ages/
The last time I did this was in my late teens/early twenties. I seem to have a lot less energy now and more aches and pains--swollen, throbbing lower legs, panic attacks, dizzy spells. Does the body become more sensitive overtime? The idea that I could subsist on the amount of food I did when I was 14 or even 19 and still lead an active life and show up to school/classes is beyond me now. I struggle to hold two thoughts in my mind, whereas the first few days I was so clearheaded and high. Now I feel like I'm not eating a lot because preparing a salad feels like too much energy. 😞 in the epitome of sloth right now.

[Rant/Rave] My bf ordered pizza, and I'm only going to eat one peice.
/u/Trinkets-Baubles [5'3 | 151 | 28.22 | 18 | F | UGW 110]
Created: Thu Aug 10 17:30:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sx9pc/my_bf_ordered_pizza_and_im_only_going_to_eat_one/
This is mostly an accountability post, but... I was prescribed seroquil, which has a side effect of "weight gain" (READ: no self control).

But I'm not going to let that be me. I'm going to exercise my self control, some self love, and not make myself regret this. No binge, I will continue losing, and I will be proud of it. In two weeks, when my doctor wants to switch me to something else, I'll be able to proudly tell her that weight gain was *not* one of my side effects. And by that time, I estimate I will be in the 140s. :)

Sure, it'll be a high 140, but shit, it'll still kbe 30 pounds less than what I was earlier this year. I want it. I need it. I deserve it. But holy hell, I want all of the pizza. Lol. Its 280cals per *slice*.

No flare, so rant/rave? Maybe.

Edit: it's here and omg it's *so* small for a slice. Its like a 3inch triangle.πŸ˜‚

[Discussion] Does anybody else weigh themselves with heavy clothes?
Created: Thu Aug 10 17:27:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sx92c/does_anybody_else_weigh_themselves_with_heavy/
I don't know if this is common because I know most of us want the most accurate number as possible, but I guess I like to torture myself. I like weighing myself with heavy clothes and sometimes with objects in my hand so i will weigh more. It's almost like self-torture in a way because I feel disgusting even though logically I know I'm a couple pounds lighter.

[Discussion] How to improve the appearance of mottled skin on legs?
/u/vkomova [5'11 | ugh | ugh | ugh | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 17:21:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sx7vf/how_to_improve_the_appearance_of_mottled_skin_on/
My legs look purplish and splotchy sometimes. I know it's caused by poor circulation, and I also feel like it might have something to do with fluid retention just because of how my legs seem to feel when I notice it happening. Either way, I'm not going to address what's causing it because I know it's my eating patterns, but does anyone have any tips to try to make it at least a little better?

[Rant/Rave] PB binge not so bad i think
Created: Thu Aug 10 17:04:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sx48p/pb_binge_not_so_bad_i_think/
I was so devastated yesterday. I was stressed all day and came home wanting to eat hoping it would comfort me and make me feel right. I wasn't hungry and eating never gives me comfort... but i reached for the peanut butter.

Started off ok eating it with berries. Half way through some awareness brushed over me and I realized i didnt even like the berries. They werent sweet and the mixture was nothing like a pbj as I had imagined. I was disappointed in the mix but instead of tossing it as Ive been doing with foods that arent great (yay progress) I couldnt stop with this. I finish what i started of the berries. Then i went for the jar and a spoon.

Lord have mercy I went until i felt that "done" feeling you finally achieve when youve gone too far.
I was devastated. A third of the jar i think. I was scared to try to figure it out.

Well i didnt learn my lesson and had another wonderful spoon assisted pb jar breakfast. Leading to a stomach ache all day. Total of half a costco jar maybe?

Finally right now I decided to figure out the damage. A jar is total 25 servings, 200cal per. Thats 5,000 total calories or 1.43lbs if a lb is 3,500cal.

I'm actually happy and cant share this feeling with anyone of course. I thought the damage was WAY more than that. Granted I had a normal diet around it and didnt finish the jar.

But holy cow a costco jar is 5,000! Whats 1.43lbs in the long run when you're trying to lose 20! πŸ˜‚πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ thats just a few restricts or fastings.

[Rant/Rave] [rant] c/s for the first time
Created: Thu Aug 10 16:55:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sx28d/rant_cs_for_the_first_time/

[Discussion] does anyone else occasionally get really hungry despite having just eaten (after heavy restriction)?
Created: Thu Aug 10 16:46:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sx0eg/does_anyone_else_occasionally_get_really_hungry/

[Help] Where do you shop for clothes (most specifically, dresses for special occasions)?
Created: Thu Aug 10 16:27:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6swwi7/where_do_you_shop_for_clothes_most_specifically/

[Other] An apology for the boyfriend post.
Created: Thu Aug 10 16:15:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6swth0/an_apology_for_the_boyfriend_post/

[Rant/Rave] accountability (just a personal post lolllll)
Created: Thu Aug 10 16:12:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6swstw/accountability_just_a_personal_post_lolllll/

[Goal] I did it!
/u/tootiredrn [5'4" | CW 162.2 | -7.8 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 16:06:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6swrgg/i_did_it/
We've all heard about the story of the girl who just forgets to eat (honestly, not just lying about it) and today that was me! I ate at my TDEE yesterday to help break a plateau and it was enough that I guess I didn't even get hungry today. I felt my tummy rumble in class before lunch and I was going to eat but then I just wanted to finish the notes I was making and after a few more classes, all the sudden I'm back in my house and I'm realizing dinner is my first thing to eat today other than a piece of gum. Maybe this'll help me hit 160 sooner rather than later, I've been dying to get back!

This is just a weird goal I've had for a while and to finally get there is amazing!

[Intro] Just wanted to introduce myself
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 100lbs ]
Created: Thu Aug 10 15:53:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6swodb/just_wanted_to_introduce_myself/
Hey guys, I'm pretty new here, so I thought I'd introduce myself.

I've struggled with disordered eating since I was about 12. When I was in 6th grade, my friend and I competed to see who could lose the most weight. I dropped 20lbs in about 2 months, and after that I've never had a great relationship with food. My main problem has always been restricting, but I started purging in my junior year of high school, and in my senior year I was purging daily. I stopped doing that consistently because I threw up blood a few times. During high school, I was taking ADHD medication that friends had in order to lose more weight and decrease my appetite.

I hit my HW in November during a period of longterm recovery. In about May I started to eat less and less because of stress, and I'm in the middle of a full blown relapse currently. Right now, I eat about 200 cals during the day, and I eat whatever is served for dinner in order to hide my relapse from my mom and boyfriend.

I'm going into my junior year of college, and I'm just hoping that no one bothers me about the weight I've dropped over the summer. Thankfully, no one will know my eating habits so I can restrict as I feel necessary. I feel guilty for giving back into my disorder, but at the same time it just feels so good to be dropping weight again.

Just wanted to share a little background about myself. I hope you all are doing well <3 Thank you for taking the time to read my post.

Left arm/hand tingly while purging
Created: Thu Aug 10 15:50:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6swnom/left_armhand_tingly_while_purging/
So I drink a lot of caffeine and I've smoked for ten years. My heart feels like it's constantly beating so hard and sometimes I can literally see my shirt move from my heartbeat. Last night I ate 800 calories in one sitting (only ate 1200 calories total that day tho so no way I would have gained) and I threw it up about 10 minutes later. As i was purging my left hand and arm became tingly and then went a little numb and there were streaks of blood in my vomit. Can purging make your arm tingly?

[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo πŸ’Ž
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | CW:131lbs | GW 125| GW2 115lbs | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 14:51:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sw9ns/daily_thinspo/

[Thinspo] "The New Girl at Work" Thinspo
/u/tinycode [5'5" | HW 250 | CW 150 | GW1 120 | 22F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 14:01:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6svx8u/the_new_girl_at_work_thinspo/

[Discussion] Have you heard the good word of Quest Bars?
/u/DahliaDubonet [INTERNAL SOBS]
Created: Thu Aug 10 14:00:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6svx41/have_you_heard_the_good_word_of_quest_bars/
Alright, I know I'm late the effing party I just got into quest bars and now have become a fantastic dessert SO what flavors are great? I love the White Chocolate Raspberry but feel meh about the cookies and cream. What other flavors should I check out?

[Discussion] What weight-related things are you most paranoid about?
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 13:47:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6svtw8/what_weightrelated_things_are_you_most_paranoid/
I realized the other day just how many things I avoid doing so that other people don't see me as "fat."

I purposely eat more slowly and take more breaks while I'm eating than a normal person. I will never, ever admit to feeling hungry. I constantly walk on the balls of my feet so my footsteps sound less heavy. I push my tongue up against the roof of my mouth so that the fat under my chin goes away. I sit on the very edge of chairs so that they don't creak or bend under my weight. I sit with my legs tucked underneath me to take up less space. I'm paranoid about breathing too loudly, looking sweaty or messy, or smelling bad, because some subconscious part of me sees those as fat-people-things.

I'm curious if other people do some of these same things.

[Help] F*ck you, Caramel m&m's!
Created: Thu Aug 10 13:45:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6svtke/fck_you_caramel_mms/
Somebody please be my voice of reason. I have been living off these things for at least a month, having them for every meal and then fasting to feel better about myself. I'm going insane. And I know if I go to the store I will buy a couple of the big bags of them. Somebody please convince me to never buy them again...ugh I know it's ridiculous but I really need this right now. Sorry

[Help] Yes period, welcome back, it's lovely to see you again after TWO WEEKS....
/u/timetofadeaway [5'2 | CW 118 | LW 91 | GW1 110 | UGW 90 | F20]
Created: Thu Aug 10 13:24:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6svo9r/yes_period_welcome_back_its_lovely_to_see_you/
*On a side note, I still haven't dared to weigh myself , it's been 40+ days since my last weigh in of moderate restriction (averaging 750 calories a day). I still can't bare to see the number and risk the chance of seeing I have stalled/gained or that worse, I'll become obsessed with the number again.* Im petrified of stepping on the scale.

So, I have no idea whether I have lost weight or not... Therefore I have no idea if my 2 week early period arrival (definitely not pregnant or on the pill) is to do with my weight loss or hormones to do with my weight loss.

Have any of you guys dealt with this or something similar?

I know loss of period happens at lower BMI's or if you're severely restricting but I've never heard of periods in-between periods (this has been going on the last 2 days and is more than spotting) and have personally never dealt with it before. I know it's most likely hormonal but is this down to weight changes or is it normal?

Thanks guys and I hope you're all having good days <3

Fuck you, caramel m&@@
Created: Thu Aug 10 13:16:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6svmag/fuck_you_caramel_m/

[Help] fuck it. give me serious restriction tips, don't hold back.
/u/get-it_together [5'3" | hahaha kill me | UGW 130 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 13:05:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6svjdx/fuck_it_give_me_serious_restriction_tips_dont/

[Rant/Rave] so I've started purging
/u/olivegreenblack [165 | CW 64 | HW 70 | LW 50.8 | GW 50 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 12:27:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sva2w/so_ive_started_purging/
I always thought I was one of those people who physically could *not* purge. I hadn't even thrown up once naturally since I was a toddler, and every time I tried to make myself throw up it could not work. Then about two weeks ago, I desperately put my hand down my throat after a binge. And guys, *stuff came up*. I was stoked! (how messed up is that?)

Since then I've been purging multiple times a day. It's gross and I'm constantly worried I'll get caught or block the toilet. I keep telling myself its just temporary and I'll stop and go back to heavy restriction but it's almost become compulsive, I keep compulsively overeating with the intent to throw it up. Yeah I know this is something people who purge keep warning us about and now I kind of regret starting. I wish I still thought I couldn't throw up, because now that I know I can, I'm more likely to binge.

I've "improved" (what a fucking word) my purging since the first time, now I have bette aim and make less sound hah. But I'm worried about my teeth and also because I currently have braces idk what to do. And my knuckle is really sore and red all the time and theres this tiny gash that my teeth bite into every time that has gone pink/white and idk if I should put antibacterial cream on that?

Right now its 3 am. I just woke up after falling asleep while I was waiting for everyone to go to bed so I could purge. I fucking fell asleep and now its too late, I tried purging but nothing came up. I had been binging massively with the plan to throw it all up, now I fucking can't and idk what to do. I'm kind of shaking, my throat really hurts and I feel so anxious.

I should stop rambling now. Otherwise I'd go on forever.

[Rant/Rave] 14 pints of Halo Top for $15 - Life can be kind sometimes.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW 145.0 | UGW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 11:44:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6suz4h/14_pints_of_halo_top_for_15_life_can_be_kind/
Local grocery store recently added Insta-Cart which is an online shopping and delivery for groceries. They gave me a $20 off $35 plus free shipping coupon in store yesterday. Also noticed they had a fresh shipment of Halo Top which was on sale 2 for $5.

14 pints of Birthday Cake Halo Top are now sitting in my freezer. It'll take me over a month to get through them of course, but it's reassuring having them. Whenver I get a craving, I can also remember I have Halo Top even if I don't want it right then.

The lady delivering them looked at me like I was crazy. And I am.

[Discussion] Any other weight lifters?
Created: Thu Aug 10 11:35:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sux1g/any_other_weight_lifters/
So I've been lifting since I was 16 (5 years) and it's one of my favorite things. But... now I want to be tiny. Being toned would be nice, but being small is so much more important to me. I've been eating about 500-800 cals a day and still doing my normal cardio and lifting routine (about 45 min of each a day). But now I'm starting to get really paranoid that I'm growing my muscles and making myself look thick... my body building friends swear I'm not eating enough for that, but I find it really hard to believe them. Does anyone have experience or advice on this?

[Discussion] Is anyone else here vegan?
Created: Thu Aug 10 11:27:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6suuu4/is_anyone_else_here_vegan/
Vegan, or plant based, or something along those lines!

Would you mind sharing with me what you usually eat in a day/your favourite meal ideas?

I've looked at /r/vegan1200isplenty but a lot of then seem really high carb (with rice, potatoes etc) and it scares me to be honest.

Thanks so much!

[Rant/Rave] I'm so tired of hating myself.
/u/Blehergered [5'2 | 139.8 | Overweight | -42 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 11:20:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sut7x/im_so_tired_of_hating_myself/
Everyday for the past 12 years I have hated every single part of me. I have never fit in anywhere. I fuck up most of my social interactions and generally just an awkward piece of shit. The only thing I really have going for me right now is my wonderful boyfriend.

I feel like such a fucking loser for having no friends. Literally no one. The only friends I have had in my life are narcissistic, sadistic women who only keep me around only when I benefit them.

I look at myself in the mirror and I can't imagine myself anywhere. Like my face looks like something that should have never existed in the first place.


[Rant/Rave] DAE feel a weird mix of guilt and satisfaction when sharing
Created: Thu Aug 10 11:19:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6suszx/dae_feel_a_weird_mix_of_guilt_and_satisfaction/
does anyone else feel guilty when sharing their food? People think you are being generous but actually you are being selfish giving them your calories....

[Discussion] [Discussion] Is anyone else as lazy as I am?
Created: Thu Aug 10 11:02:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6suotq/discussion_is_anyone_else_as_lazy_as_i_am/
I'm just curious if there is anyone else out there that just can't bring themselves to commit to an exercise routine? I will spend HOURS constructing charts and graphs with routines and exercises for myself. I will plan out an entire month with daily routines and how many calories I will burn, but I never go through with it.

I do hit the gym from time to time, maybe a three to four day streak of some cardio and weights, but that's about it. It's strange considering how much loathing I have for this body I've created. Why am I so averse to

Are any of you like this? Does anyone else pretty much stick to restricting food without combining exercise? Please say I'm not alone!

[Rant/Rave] "I like your outfit! Your giving me Mindi Khaling vibes today"
Created: Thu Aug 10 10:57:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sunj1/i_like_your_outfit_your_giving_me_mindi_khaling/
I know it was meant as a compliment but damn, thanks for reminding me that I'm short and chubby :( Nothing like being compared to a celebrity who they call 'brave' just for existing in Hollywood. (On mobile, rant)

[Other] Another lovely thought from r/wholesomememes. Have a wonderful day, you're worth it ❀️
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 10:49:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6suld0/another_lovely_thought_from_rwholesomememes_have/

[Help] I need your help guys
/u/Skinnybabyshh [5'7 | 110 | -60 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 10:37:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6suig0/i_need_your_help_guys/

[Help] Week-Long Trip to the Land of Good Food and Ashton Kutcher
Created: Thu Aug 10 10:33:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6suhj5/weeklong_trip_to_the_land_of_good_food_and_ashton/

[Discussion] DAE feel like they are faking their ED?
Created: Thu Aug 10 10:24:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sufi0/dae_feel_like_they_are_faking_their_ed/
I've been diagnosed with non-purging bulimia (kind of EDNOS- I binge for a week or so and then hard-core restrict to make up for it) since I was 13 and I sometimes feel like I'm faking it or something. I'm slightly overweight right now and in my restricting phase and I can't help but think if I *really* had an eating disorder I wouldn't have to try so hard to not eat. If I was *really* mentally ill, I wouldn't plan my fasts because I wouldn't want to eat anyway.

At the same time, if I was really faking it, I would be able to stop, right? I know all the healthy ways to lose weight so why am I still doing this stupid yoyo stuff?

[Discussion] Loss of hunger?
Created: Thu Aug 10 10:24:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sufe6/loss_of_hunger/

[Rant/Rave] DEA have an irrational fear of rice?
/u/burner40 [169 cm | CW: 119 | BMI: 18.9 | GW: 101 | NB]
Created: Thu Aug 10 10:08:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6subh6/dea_have_an_irrational_fear_of_rice/
Because I do... I don't know why, but even one tiny grains of rice translates to DEADLY CARBS in my brain. I probably haven't eaten rice in six monthsπŸ˜‚ and sushi used to be my favorite food :/

edit: oops @ the title

Can we all share our workout routines?
/u/cinnamonbicycle [5'2 | Recovering/relapsing | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 10:01:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6su9m0/can_we_all_share_our_workout_routines/

[Help] What causes weight gain with no intake?
/u/alphabeticaesthetic [5'5 | 116 | 19.3 | UGW 100 | 20F | πŸ‘: moodles]
Created: Thu Aug 10 10:01:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6su9jd/what_causes_weight_gain_with_no_intake/
I was wondering if anyone knows why weight would fluctuate with absolutely no intake, not even liquid. On a typical restriction day I'll be 2-4lbs heavier than my morning weigh-in, which I attribute to food and water weight. However, I've had days where I was specifically testing this out so I weigh in around 8am and then go the whole day without consuming anything, food or water. I'll weigh again at 7 or 8pm that day again and somehow, without fail, be 1-2 lbs heavier. Why does this happen? It drives me nuts sometimes :(
Also unrelated but does anyone else experience a food baby with minimal amounts of food/water? I can eat like a cracker and drink a glass of water and my stomach will go from flat to the same food baby I get from a regular meal?? why though

[Discussion] Does anyone else get headaches all the time?
/u/Xoena [5'4 | CW 131lbs | 22.49 | GW 120lbs | 20F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 09:58:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6su8q1/does_anyone_else_get_headaches_all_the_time/
I have recently been restricting more than I have before and man the headaches I have been getting are intense. I have had one maybe twice a day this whole week. It feels like a pressure in my forehead. Does anyone else experience this when restricting? I drink plenty of water so I don't think I am dehydrated. I probably ate at most 750 cals this week which isn't horrible but it is lower than usual for me since I exercise a lot.

[Other] Swimming Club Week 2! πŸ’ž
/u/bigfaninasmallworld [5 feet 🍰 | CW: 107 lbs | GW: 100 lbs | UGW: 98 lbs | 20 F πŸ’ |]
Created: Thu Aug 10 09:53:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6su7lz/swimming_club_week_2/
Ok. So last week was a little rocky for me as I got really sick the last few days. Like, really sick. But I'm better now and ready to kick off this second week!

The members of the Swimming Club are (by username) :

✨ bigfaninasmallworld

✨ SM_girl

✨ strangerousdangers

✨ A_No_Life_Person

✨ Kaylasteil

~Joining is now closed ~


πŸ’ž Swim 1/2 a mile EVERYDAY (No time limit, take your time and focus on breathe control and burning those calories)

πŸ’ž 20 high knees (each leg) Grab a pool noodle and put your feet to the bottom of the pool, keeping your upper abdomen out of the water. Remain a straight posture and bring your knees to the pool noodle held on top of the water.

πŸ’ž 20 ab crunches x2 reps. Put your legs over the border of the pool while keeping your back on top of the water. Put one arm across your chest and one holding your nose closed (to prevent water going into your nose). Next, bring your body up to the border (like sit-ups) and back into the water. Repeat

πŸ’ž 10 Step ups x2 reps



This challenge calls for points. For every day you complete the challenge, you will be rewarded 2 points! For every day you don't, You will be subtracted two points. For any step of the workout not done/ completed, 1 point will be subtracted. If your half mile time is under 20 Minutes, you will be rewarded a BONUS 1 point! Good luck, and no excuses!

Every week we will have a "Swimmer Winner" basically the person who did the best on the challenge. This week, whoever gets the fastest time (ALL SESSIONS COMBINED) will earn the title! Your reward is : FEELING FREAKING ACCOMPLISHED AND MOTIVATED!

Week ones SWIMMER WINNER is: (yet to be announced)

Week One:

Please post here in the format below:

Day ___ Week One

Goal time:

Actual time:

Goal for next time:

Calories Burned: (if applicable)


As the days add up, PLEASE DO NOT add a new comment for each day! Just edit your comment from the following day and add duplicate the format with the new info!

Thank you to all who joined! And please let me know if there is a problem! πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“
If you would like to add/ share twitter/ Instagram handles feel free! Make a "buddy" with someone in the club and motivate eachother!

[Discussion] New relationship... How do they affect your ed
Created: Thu Aug 10 09:45:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6su5ol/new_relationship_how_do_they_affect_your_ed/
I'm wondering, positive or negative, what being in a new relationship does for your ED? Oh, also, old member... New name 😊

I'm in a new one myself, with a great guy who I really like but unfortunately I've really been lax on myself and gained about 10 pounds.πŸ˜‘ wouldn't be so bad except he has a family member with BED, and I can tell he doesn't understand EDs at all... To top it off I was reading a random article about new relationships and it mentioned that men what's notice how much their woman eats!! So now I'm paranoid on many levels and keep dissecting ant comments he makes about weight/food/eating /mybody/other people's bodies.. And I still can't stop binging πŸ˜– I want to so badly, I literally was doing great with restricting until the DAY I met this guy ∧ since then I haven't done anything but eat.

He is always complimenting me and I'm trying really hard to be ok with the gain, but in a recent romp I got super self conscious and stopped in the middle and wasn't able to recover my confidence the rest of the nightπŸ˜‘

Just wanting to hear some other stories about new relationships and how they affect you.

[Humor] Snack induced road rage
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 124.8lbls |19.82|-40 (then +30 lol)| female]
Created: Thu Aug 10 09:42:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6su50i/snack_induced_road_rage/

[Discussion] do you worry that diet cola cause weight gain?
/u/misterrazorz [159 | 44.4 | 17.9 | a]
Created: Thu Aug 10 09:09:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6stx6v/do_you_worry_that_diet_cola_cause_weight_gain/
something to do with the sweeteners.

this goes for all the conventional 'safe' 0 kcal things we may all trust in. black coffee and green tea with kcals. i can't decide how to fast with all this conflicting info.

[Rant/Rave] Really scared about my doctors appointment
Created: Thu Aug 10 08:28:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6stnlu/really_scared_about_my_doctors_appointment/
I want yo cancel do bad. But my primary care doctor has called to make sure I go. Its a psychiatrist i have never seen before. I'm not sure I want to be on medication because I'm scared if weight gain. Anyone know a good anxiety medication without weight gain?

[Discussion] What's one thing you hate and love about yourself?
/u/CANT_CATCH_ME [5'7.5 | CW 133.5 | -7 | GW 115 | 18 F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 08:09:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6stje6/whats_one_thing_you_hate_and_love_about_yourself/
I hate how broad my shoulders are. They are the opposite of feminine and it really sucks when guys clothing fits πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ definitely doesn't help me feel small and tiny and delicate, to say the least.

I like my eyes though. I have big dark green/hazel-ish eyes and long eyelashes. Those are pretty cool. Thanks Mom, for the genetics!

(Mods feel free to take this down if it's not allowed)

[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend supports me restricting and fasting and wanting to be 90 lbs at 5'5 and I love it.
Created: Thu Aug 10 07:47:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6steob/my_boyfriend_supports_me_restricting_and_fasting/

[Thinspo] Found this goddess on IG 😍 I want to look like her so bad
Created: Thu Aug 10 07:30:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6stb8y/found_this_goddess_on_ig_i_want_to_look_like_her/

[Rant/Rave] If I'm gonna be a depressed piece of shit anyways, might as well be a thin depressed piece of shit
Created: Thu Aug 10 07:26:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6stagc/if_im_gonna_be_a_depressed_piece_of_shit_anyways/

[Discussion] ED documentaries/reality
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1.5" | cw 159 | gw 145 | -11]
Created: Thu Aug 10 07:10:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6st79p/ed_documentariesreality/
So I'm starting off today rough. I got about an hour of sleep. Lack of sleep makes my eyes burn and makes me want to binge. So I'm hoping for some documentary recommendations! Bonus points if they're streaming somewhere :D Really weird food stuff or extremes like 600 lb life are also welcome

I'll start off with some of my own recommendations that I've already seen

Thin (amazon prime) about a women's treatment facility

Femme/fille (prime) about the "no anorexia campaign" woman

Emma wants to live (prime) I just watched this yesterday and it was really good but extremely sad and triggering. About a severely anorexic dutch girl

There are a few really good episodes of intervention about ppl with eating disorders but they'e hard to find (maybe youtube?)

Facing the fat (prime) not directly ED related but an obese dude doesn't eat for 55 days and I found it super interesting

[Discussion] Do cigarettes make you poop more often?
/u/iwannaeatatrout [6'4" | M | CW:FAT | GW: 150]
Created: Thu Aug 10 06:39:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6st0u1/do_cigarettes_make_you_poop_more_often/
Or is that just me?

[Discussion] August 10th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 06:23:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ssy2t/august_10th_2017_question_of_the_day/
What are you running from at this moment?

Edit: my mom had a whole box of vegan baked goods delivered to my work for my birthday, so sweet of her but fuckkkkk, and my coworkers are buying me lunch and I have family dinner tonight. 🐳

[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support August 10, 2017
Created: Thu Aug 10 06:11:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ssvsf/weekly_emotional_support_august_10_2017/
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**


Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 10, 2017
Created: Thu Aug 10 06:10:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ssvl4/daily_food_diary_august_10_2017/
This is a daily food diary thread for August 10, 2017.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)

[Rant/Rave] getting stood up for the second time in two weeks...
/u/edthrowawaywhoops [5'9"| CW: 133| GW: Kate Middleton| F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 05:14:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ssmh4/getting_stood_up_for_the_second_time_in_two_weeks/
My brain has like 2 reactions to this happening. One is "well at least I'll save on those restaurant food calories" (even though I was planning on just getting the mixed greens salad and hadn't eaten pretty much all day to save up for it)...and the other is "well fuck him if he's gonna stand me up I'm gonna get extra skinny and hot and delicate and feminine and he'll REALLY regret it" (even though it was a first date and I'll never see him again)

All that being said I don't think I have the self-esteem for dating, I've been stood up for more first dates than I've been on!

[Discussion] I don't feel sick but I probably AM sick - does anyone else feel the same?
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 56.5kg | BMI 18.6 |- 16kg | GW 52kg | 24F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 04:27:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ssfkd/i_dont_feel_sick_but_i_probably_am_sick_does/
And yet I fit the criteria for EDNOS/Anorexia Nervosa.

My mum watches me whenever I'm back home, and I have to eat A LOT in front of her. Can't purge, but I do go on long walks so I can offset some of the calories (my dog loves me for this). I have to eat a lot just to say "ah I'm just poor mum, you know how it is, working in a bar."

How can I feel so healthy and like I don't want help? When I had depression, deep down I actually wanted to sort it out, and knew at the back of my mind that I couldn't go on like this.

But I like feeling like this (well, I like the fact I get smaller, I don't like the fear of certain foods or anything) and I think there are people who need help because they are way more deserving of it than me and I'll just be wasting the GP's time. I like having control and I like the way fasting and restricting makes me feel.

I dunno what the point of this message is, just wondering if anyone feels the same?

[Discussion] Experiences with clozapine?
/u/lightfeathers [5'4" | CW 112 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 04:23:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ssewy/experiences_with_clozapine/

Did any of you gain weight while on clozapine?
Created: Thu Aug 10 04:22:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sses6/did_any_of_you_gain_weight_while_on_clozapine/

[Humor] Tried to tell DH I'm restricting calories
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 03:58:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ssba7/tried_to_tell_dh_im_restricting_calories/
His response: like you're on a diet?

I mean, a perfect day would be 700 calories. Or if I had 1200 and went to the gym and worked off half of what I ate.

My response: yes babe. Like a diet.

[Rant/Rave] F*cking Crossaints
/u/Zaomi [172 cm |CW: 58.8 kg| BMI: 19.70 | GW: 55kg | HW: 67 kg | 21F |]
Created: Thu Aug 10 03:57:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ssb7x/fcking_crossaints/
What the fuck is wrong with croissants ? Why do they have so many calories ? I ate 1 because well they weight almost nothing so i thought they would make a good Lunch. Well accoring to the Internet they have like 300-400 kcal. Whhhy ?? They are not even remotely filling. I wanted to eat vegetable wraps for Dinner. Looks like this isn't going to happen.

Anyone else here who starts rants of hate over specific kind of food ?

[Rant/Rave] Ex sends an upsetting message? Let's just C/S an entire can of spaghetti and meatballs while sitting in our car at 5am.
Created: Thu Aug 10 03:16:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ss5r2/ex_sends_an_upsetting_message_lets_just_cs_an/
I am gross. This is no way to go about reaching goal weight.

It's been a fucking difficult and low energy week. Emotionally and physically exhausted. Just wanna eat like a normal person.

Ex sends an upsetting message? Let's just c/a an entire can of Chef Boyardee spaghetti and meatballs while sitting in your car at 4:30am.
Created: Thu Aug 10 02:49:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ss24x/ex_sends_an_upsetting_message_lets_just_ca_an/

[Rant/Rave] All aboard the binge train (Choo choo)
/u/QuornLasagne [🌸 All aboard the binge train | choo choo 🌸]
Created: Thu Aug 10 01:20:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6srqcf/all_aboard_the_binge_train_choo_choo/
In the past 2 weeks I managed to binge my way from severely underweight to a "healthy" weight. I went from 40kg to 48kg and I feel so gross. The worst part is I can actually see the changes in my body now. I have no flat tummy because I'm bloated all the time, my collar bones are less prominent and the bones that usually show through my chest are practically non existent now, and my thighs have started to touch again.

I dont know what to do anymore. I feel so out of control and I can't stop, I'm so scared of becoming overweight because I can't keep my binging in check. Has anyone else experienced this and managed to gain control again?

[Tip] Visualisation is everything
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 01:13:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6srpf1/visualisation_is_everything/
I recently did some training for work and my trainer said if you can see your goal everyday your conscious influences your subconscious and you'll make it happen.

Long story short - I now have my weight loss goals taped inside my glasses case and each time I see it I remind myself that people have eyes and they have to be subjected to my fat.

[Other] I had a weird bathroom encounter
/u/RainyDayDaydream [5'7 | GW: Air | Lady]
Created: Thu Aug 10 00:58:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6srn58/i_had_a_weird_bathroom_encounter/
So, yesterday after work I exited the bathroom (after having just C&S a cupcake guiltily), I washed my hands. This stunning, tall African woman next to me remarks -out of the blue- 'I want to be skinny, like you! I used to be like you, but now my thighs are too big. If I went to the gym, I would become obsessed. But I just want to get smaller and smaller...'

Those are the things that stuck out to me. In between this I tried to meekly say, 'No, you have a beautiful body, I dont even go to the gym.'

I feel like this woman just inadvertently admitted to having at least some body issues. It also made me realize...thats what I sound like, those are my thought patterns. I didn't even feel good that she wanted my body, to look like me. That I was told I'm skinny, because its not good enough. I want to, and need to be smaller. The whole day I was comparing my body to these two pencil thin guys who work on the same floor as me. Its made me feel so hollow.

[Discussion] Sooooo...masochism?
/u/selkieb [5'3 | 112 | 21 BMI | LW 80 | GW 110 | UGW 100 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 00:37:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6srk79/sooooomasochism/
I recently (like within the past couple days) discovered I'm into BDSM, and it's making me look at my disordered eating in a new light. I even reread my recent post on weighing habits where I refer to the masochist in me, and thought sheeeeeeit girl--what is WRONG with you?!?

Anyway, I was just curious if there's a high instance of BDSM in this community, given that there can be a lot of overlap that is still revealing itself (self-hatred, rules, pain, control and release, physical weakness, etc.)

I also wonder if my desire to be dominated contributes to my need to feel small?!?

I dunno--still actively processing this and thought it might be worth sharing for a discussion. It's a bit terrible to suggest that anyone is getting off on this, but while chatting with a dom who was teaching me a bit about myself, I kept mentioning how little I'd eaten, how I felt faint, etc. o_O

[Discussion] Please tell me I'm not getting fat
/u/Ire_of_suburbia [5'4" | 85lbs | 14,6 | -53 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 00:04:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6srfh6/please_tell_me_im_not_getting_fat/

Oh my lord
Created: Wed Aug 9 23:40:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6srbqz/oh_my_lord/

[Rant/Rave] It's weird how much easier it got. just a rant
/u/lonas_ [6'00 | cw 160 | gw 130 | 20.86 | -- | M]
Created: Wed Aug 9 23:32:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sral3/its_weird_how_much_easier_it_got_just_a_rant/
I've definitely become more fixated on my body and how I look and much more critical of myself. Along with a couple of nasty incidents with purging, this has led me towards just not eating that often. I've fasted for 2 days this week including last sunday, and broke that fast twice, sweet carb heavy shitty foods mostly bc I was stoned. Other than that, it's been coffee, weed, and a ton of water.

And it just feels fine. The hunger mostly stopped being a big thing, now I'm just generally a little lightheaded I guess. Oddly enough, I've been in much better spirits and have experienced a mental clarity that I haven't felt in a long time. I hung out with some friends today, just watched a movie and did a photo op with their cat. It was chill but I just had an amazing time. I had this renewed sense of self, and it showed in how I communicated and kept conversation, but idk really what I can attribute it to.

Idk. I think about the future a lot. I think about how one day America will be gone from the world, like every effectual nation that came before us. Not on the horizon I don't think. But eventually.

[Discussion] How long...
Created: Wed Aug 9 23:32:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sral1/how_long/

How long...
Created: Wed Aug 9 23:22:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sr8zq/how_long/

[Discussion] Stomach cramps?
Created: Wed Aug 9 22:52:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sr46r/stomach_cramps/
So, im almost 36 hours into my water fast and im having horrific stomach cramps. I've been chewing on ice but it doesnt help, does anyone esle know any tips to help stop cramps like this? Im currently on lunch break at work so im hoping it will be gone by the end of my shift.

[Rant/Rave] I can't waaaait for school to start
/u/norg3girl [5'5.5 | 114.2 | 18.7 | GW: 98 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 22:13:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sqxcf/i_cant_waaaait_for_school_to_start/
I'm starting high school and I'm really excited for that in general, but ED wise...

It makes it so easy to not eat. I skip breakfast, have a granola bar for lunch, and then I'm at work from 5-8 anyway so I miss dinner and I don't even have to eat anything. Now I'm just at home all day stuffing my face and then feeling like shit because of it.

I want to be 100 lbs by the homecoming dance, wish me luck guys <3.

[Rant/Rave] After a week of promising myself no sugar or dairy, Halo Top decides to drop 7 new flavors
/u/hunterxgreen [5'4'' | CW: 162 | GW: bones | F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 22:00:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6squz3/after_a_week_of_promising_myself_no_sugar_or/

[Other] i basically have my whole ass out lately as an attempt to stop hating my legs
/u/nchlaz [5'11 | 137 | 18.5 | -70 | M]
Created: Wed Aug 9 21:57:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6squl8/i_basically_have_my_whole_ass_out_lately_as_an/

[Help] Is there a way to induce non-vomiting nausea?
/u/hunterxgreen [5'4'' | CW: 162 | GW: bones | F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 21:53:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sqtus/is_there_a_way_to_induce_nonvomiting_nausea/

[Rant/Rave] Nervous and stuff
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'3"|110| 25F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 21:35:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sqqkx/nervous_and_stuff/
I want to get better but at the same time I'm scared to

I want other people to get better. You can see the strength in their arms and legs, the shimmer in their hair and the spark in their eyes. Seeing recovery in action must be a marvelous thing

I can't do it for me though I feel so lacking.

I'm scared that people will find out too. A nurse who has an ED taking care of people. I genuinely care for people, but I guess I suck at taking care of myself. I'm not wholesome.

I strive to be more than this but I feel so small and so fractured.

[Rant/Rave] I'm mostly excited about college because of the free gym access
/u/Keiwii [5'2 | HW:190 | GW:128 | UGW:100 | -32lbs]
Created: Wed Aug 9 21:27:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sqpaf/im_mostly_excited_about_college_because_of_the/
Not only that , but I'll be walking around campus a lot going to class which means burning calories πŸ™ƒThe neighborhood I live in isn't that great , so I've been pretty sedentary lately . I'm an incoming freshman and I'm terrified of gaining the "freshman 15". I've basically planned out my schedule for when I'm there and I look at campus maps seeing how far I'd be walking . I've been consistently restricting being stuck at home and bored (yet ignoring urges) and it just makes me excited that I'll be much more busier so it'll be easier to skip meals +not having my mom bugging me all the time

By the way , hi guys , I've been a lurking a while on my main account πŸ‘‹πŸΎ

[Rant/Rave] My husband won't stop eating my safe foods.
/u/PerfctBodyPerfctSoul [5'11" | CW: 135 | BMI:18.2 | LW: 112 | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 20:56:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sqjvi/my_husband_wont_stop_eating_my_safe_foods/
It's driving me *crazy*. I've been just dagger eyeing him from across the room whenever he does it. I can't say "Hey, don't eat that. You can't eat that. That's mine. It's special." because that's how fucking crazy people act.

The other option is to hide it, but that's another issue in itself. Bah. I'm annoyed. Particularly because he doesn't realise they're low-calorie things, so he literally just INHALES THE WHOLE BAG/BOX/etc and is hungry for something else a few minutes later, because duh, he eats like a normal person and doesn't subsist on 500 calories a day. *Sigh*

[Rant/Rave] I had Chinese for lunch at uni and I fucking hate myself. This semester is going to fuck me until I die. πŸ’”
Created: Wed Aug 9 20:49:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sqio9/i_had_chinese_for_lunch_at_uni_and_i_fucking_hate/

[Tip] if you're craving peanut butter
/u/CinderellaPantyDrop [5'2" | 123 | -18 | muscles mcgee]
Created: Wed Aug 9 20:26:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sqehd/if_youre_craving_peanut_butter/
I take 2 tbsp of the powdered kind (the chocolate flavored PB2 is delicious) and put it in a cup with a banana, then I mash the banana up with a fork and mix it until it's almost smooth. Renders a significant amount of peanut buttery goodness for ~ 150 cal.

I'm still experimenting with uses for the powdered stuff, and I'm interested in hearing other people's solutions to peanut butter related problems.

[Intro] I'm back.
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Wed Aug 9 20:20:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sqd91/im_back/
I made it one week. One week before I realized how fucking worthless I really am.
I deserve to starve.

[Rant/Rave] Warped sense of recovery?
Created: Wed Aug 9 19:53:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sq7sg/warped_sense_of_recovery/
It's like.....I'm cool with recovery. As long as I don't gain any weight. And it wouldn't be the worst thing if I lost a couple pounds.

Sooooo essentially...
.....I'm not cool with recovery.

Is this recovery? Fml :)

[Rant/Rave] CCTV's...
Created: Wed Aug 9 19:47:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sq6is/cctvs/
I went through a spell of binge-eating for a month recently after having lost 40lbs -- gaining back EVERYTHING... (why do I do this?! I always do this...) I'd been kind of avoiding mirrors and trying to delude myself into thinking I still wasn't that large but then when I saw myself in the CCTV, well, I just want to fucking die. I'm so gross and so BIG and I look like a female hulk and I just want to be dainty and thin and fragile-looking and I just don't identify with my actual body right now :( I wish this wasn't me. I miss being thin. I miss so much of that.

I feel so fucking gross, almost even subhuman. No wonder my ex doesn't want me anymore when I look like THIS...

I'm going on an indefinite fast forever now, kthx.

[Discussion] DEA feel like having a BM at work is a waste?
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 19:43:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sq5ub/dea_feel_like_having_a_bm_at_work_is_a_waste/

[Humor] When you and your roommate have VERY different goals...
Created: Wed Aug 9 19:25:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sq2ac/when_you_and_your_roommate_have_very_different/

[Rant/Rave] Didn't ruin my whole day!!!
/u/squishysponges [18F|5'5"|GW 110]
Created: Wed Aug 9 19:18:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sq0zv/didnt_ruin_my_whole_day/
So I really thought that I fucked up my whole day today because of my dinner. My day started off good, I ate less than half of both breakfast and lunch (but logged them in as full cal) which was pasta zero and eggs for breakfast, and campbells chicken noodle soup for lunch.
For dinner my brother made chicken cordon bleu, which is so fucking good I can't even explain ugh. But I had that with an ear of corn, potatoes, and gravy with some dinner rolls. I thought this would put me over my limit but I only ate 900 cals today!!! God bless. I hope everyone has as good of an accidental day as I did❀

[Rant/Rave] I forget to log for a week
/u/welpthatreallysucks [♀ 5'4" | βš– 205 | -31lbs| πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦]
Created: Wed Aug 9 19:14:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sq05d/i_forget_to_log_for_a_week/
I was happy visiting with my new boyfriend who lives 8h away for the past few weeks. So happy and so secure that I apparently forgot to log the whole time. And I ate with him! normally! (My husband and I are going through a divorce atm)

Then I got on the plane to go home and immediately look for calories on the pretzels package (50) and went to log know ticking what I've done.

I'm gunna stick to the 250cal I've had today. I wonder why joy brought me out of all my hard work?

Also ya know what doesn't help your Ed self-esteem? Your husband sleeping with an 89lb woman who is definitely not you.

[Other] can decide if today is a good day or a bad day
/u/fiascofiesta [5'7" | 123.4 | 19.26 | 22F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 19:10:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6spza9/can_decide_if_today_is_a_good_day_or_a_bad_day/
-got a bed frame
-made a cute banner for my living room
-hung two photos in my bedroom
-lost 0.8 pounds from first weigh in to last weigh in despite drinking lots of water

-spent $23 on food
-ate all of the food
-threw up all of the food
-socialized with a total of one person: the guy who took my food order

[Rant/Rave] mom made fun of me for binging
/u/wowowaka [5'2 | 139 > 112 > 100 (one can dream) | 17F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 19:05:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6spyfj/mom_made_fun_of_me_for_binging/
so yeah, i was restricting to 800 calories today. made it, then decided to reward myself with half an apple aaand then it went to shit from there because im a disgusting monster with no self control. i already felt like a fucking failure but of course mom had to catch me raiding the pantry for cookies (which i dont even like) and just said:

"youre hungry as fuck arent you :))) this is what you get for starving yourself to be skinny :)))" with a smug ass tone about her. i guess shes resented me ever since i managed to lose the weight healthily (most of it anyway; i developed the disorderedness around 110)

i dont know. i just, feel like crying. i shouldnt have had that apple. i felt faint so i thought i 'earnt' the energy from the apple to be able to study but of course i had to go and fuck that up. she was only confirming the fact im a fucking disgrace and deserve to feel like shit.

at least i wont go to the pantry anymore because im afraid of her seeing that ive cried :')

i dont care if i fail my exam tomorrow bc im too weak to concentrate. im hitting 100 by the end of the year even if it fucking kills me. fuck my mom. fuck binging. fuck it all. its an 800 day for me tomorrow. for real this time.

[Rant/Rave] those moments when you realize how ridiculous your relationship with food is
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18 | 22F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 18:23:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6spq2k/those_moments_when_you_realize_how_ridiculous/
when you realize that it's not normal to obsessively calculate calories and worry about eating more than 1,000 when most people eat twice that; when you realize that what you eat in a full day is the equivalent of a meal for a lot of people. that it's not normal to get anxious about eating a bagel someone brought to the office or punish yourself by planning to restrict later to make up for it. that other people don't see you as fat, they don't think twice about your weight or consider you thin, while you constantly obsess over it.

realizing that normal people eat things that they want, like pasta and donuts and things that aren't nonfat or weird low-calorie alternatives, without immediately feeling like they've gained weight. that they eat without thinking about calories and don't automatically check the nutrition label at the grocery store. that they look in mirrors without checking to see how their thighs/stomach/ribs look. realizing that you could maintain your weight by eating 1,300 calories a day but the thought freaks you out. realizing that your relationship with food is seriously fucked up, but you can't remember what it's like to eat whatever you want, whenever through want, without worrying about it.

[Discussion] caralluma fimbriata
/u/clinamina [5'11'' | CW 116 | BMI 16.3 🌹 GW 110 🌹]
Created: Wed Aug 9 18:17:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6spovx/caralluma_fimbriata/

[Rant/Rave] PSA fibre doesn't mix with liquor
/u/requiemforatardis [5'6.5| CW: 119 GW: 95 | all flubber | LW: 102.5 | 23Agender]
Created: Wed Aug 9 17:54:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6spk6a/psa_fibre_doesnt_mix_with_liquor/
You, like me, may be a functioning alcoholic.

You, like me, may get most of your calories from liquor.

You, like me, may use fibre powder to be more... regular.


Thank you for your time.

[Humor] Saw this on r/wholesomememes and thought we all could benefit from the wholesomeness ☺️❀️
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 17:44:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6spi54/saw_this_on_rwholesomememes_and_thought_we_all/

[Other] unexpected downside to weight loss
/u/iloveitosusumu [5'9" | CW170 | GW120 | BMI24.65 | 19F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 16:48:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sp6en/unexpected_downside_to_weight_loss/
So I've always had pretty defined collar bones, even at my highest weight. They're maybe the only thing I can like about my body when I'm heavy. Now that I'm dropping, they hurt. I like to fuck up my posture when I'm in bed by resting my chin on my chest as I do shit and I just feel everything touching my bones there. Even just my laptop resting on my hipbones wigs me out. Does anybody else hate when the bonier parts of their body are touched? I get legit squeamish. I'm afraid of what life will be like when I'm sub-20 BMI and I can feel my ribs rubbing on the mattress.

[Other] sometimes bukowsi hits too close to home with these titles
Created: Wed Aug 9 16:25:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sp170/sometimes_bukowsi_hits_too_close_to_home_with/

[Rant/Rave] Feeling a binge coming on
Created: Wed Aug 9 16:17:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sozbw/feeling_a_binge_coming_on/
Not sure I flaired this right.

I've been restricting more than I usually do (and succeeding which I'm pretty proud of), but I am having a bad day and can feel my brain thinking up excuses as to why it would be ok. Anyway was hoping to post this as a sort of accountability since I've been doing so well so far in the day and it's treadmill day anyway. I've been feeling so good these last few days with the higher restriction that I don't want to end up feeling like a failure tomorrow. Just thinking about eating more than I've allotted myself is making me feel like a failure.

Also! My roommate got in super late last night and was just generally loud. So, needless to say I did not sleep well.

Ugh! I really do not want eat all the food tonight. I hope recognizing it will prevent it? I probably don't make sense haha

[Humor] The best part about throwing up what you just ate in the toilet...
/u/janesavage [170 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 18F ]
Created: Wed Aug 9 16:11:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6soy31/the_best_part_about_throwing_up_what_you_just_ate/

[Rant/Rave] DAE hate their calves more than their thighs??
/u/CorpulentThrowaway [5'5.5 | -25 | LW+GW 95 | 23M]
Created: Wed Aug 9 16:11:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6soy1l/dae_hate_their_calves_more_than_their_thighs/
I always hear people hating on their thighs but my calves have *always* been a bigger problem for me. Like, at my LW, I had a thigh gap. It was ok. I'm nearing one again and that's cool I guess. I wouldn't say I *like* my thighs but when I compare them to the fuckin SAUSAGES THAT ARE MY CALVES...

Like. [Look at this goddamn body check from a couple days ago.](https://i.gyazo.com/e81cbfdc3bb0a317bc41d561fa5d9388.png) The lighting is deceiving re: my thighs (the only parts that actually touch are ~1 inch at the top) but even then you can see space between them. And then there's just. THE PUDGIEST, SQUISHIEST CALVES IN THE WORLD SMOOSHING TOGETHER? I HAVE NEVER SEEN THIS. It seems like peoples calves go apart BEFORE their thighs so why the fuck do mine just NEVER SHRINK EVER

I don't even run. My highest weight was only borderline overweight, and also, 7-8 years ago. There is NO reason my calves should be SO FUCKIN BIG. AUGH.

I dunno. I've just been feeling super gross about them and needed to rant because I've never seen anybody else have this problem :( Pls tell me someone else here has issues with their calves lol. I'm feeling self conscious about them *and self-conscious about feeling self-conscious about them* body image is a fuckin trip

[Other] If I binge again tomorrow, I might actually kill myself.
Created: Wed Aug 9 15:49:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sot0z/if_i_binge_again_tomorrow_i_might_actually_kill/

[Humor] An ode to Lara bars
Created: Wed Aug 9 14:24:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6so8ul/an_ode_to_lara_bars/
Ah, my one true love
The thing that makes me feel like a dove,
The one taste that can bring anyone to their knees
The thing that has made me binge so many times.
The thing I am writing about right now that will make people cringe

Your gooey taste has taken me to the heavens
Replenishes my energy if I eat them in elevens
The mint, the cashew, the peanut butter
Oh Why good you, are you so many calories
I have to spend my whole salary.

~the next part is stolen from Ten things I hate about you~

I hate the way your not around,
And the fact you didn't call, but mostly I hate the way I don't hate you, not even a little bit, not even at all.

Summary- Lara Mint chocolate chip brownie taste exactly like fudge brownie with mint chocolate chip brownies and I may or may not have just eaten an entire boxπŸ™ƒ

[Rant/Rave] All time high and I want to cry.
/u/butterflyjellyfish [5'8" | 10 | 27.3 | 34 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 14:19:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6so7j2/all_time_high_and_i_want_to_cry/
I can't believe how freaking enormous I am.

I'm a burlesque dancer and I saw pictures of myself from a performance last week and I look like a WHALE. I can't believe they let me on the stage. I had been panicking for a few days about weighing myself and I didn't want to, and I finally did today. I watched it count up to 180 and then keep going and I stepped off before I could see.

I'm disgusting.

I just moved to an apartment essentially by myself (I don't see my roommate often) and I picked up some Bronkaid from the pharmacy. I can't eat. I can't.

How did I do this to myself?

Edit: I went to update my flair. I'm overweight.

I'm fat.

For the first time in my life, I'm actually, medically fat.

I want to die, what have I done?

[Discussion] does anyone else have a very fluid/unstable idea of their weight/appearance?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18 | 22F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 14:06:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6so4eq/does_anyone_else_have_a_very_fluidunstable_idea/
like i'll pass a store window or mirror and realize that my legs look skinny or my stomach is flatter than i would've thought but then walk past a mirror at work and think that i don't look skinny at all. people have commented on me looking too thin but i can feel my thigh gap getting smaller and can see some weight gain in pictures. my physical self-image fluctuates like this all the time; it's difficult to gauge what other people see or if i'm actually skinny or not lollllll does anyone else experience this (i'm guessing yes cuz we're all posting here but)

[Rant/Rave] what happens when you're on the treadmill for a long time
/u/swagcat9000 [5'5" | 131 lbs | 21.8 | -37 | M |]
Created: Wed Aug 9 13:54:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6so1lq/what_happens_when_youre_on_the_treadmill_for_a/
so i binged on 1000 calories first thing in the morning, so to undo that, i hopped on the treadmill and ran for an hour and a half with 10 one-minute walking breaks between them, which added up to 100 minutes in total.
so what happens when the timer on your treadmill goes all the way up until it can't count up any higher (aka 99:59)?
this bitch shut off on me when i was planning on doing some more running? wtf? turns out if you're on the treadmill until it can't count, it just shuts off

[Rant/Rave] dumb rant about friends
/u/swagcat9000 [5'5" | 131 lbs | 21.8 | -37 | M |]
Created: Wed Aug 9 13:46:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6snzo8/dumb_rant_about_friends/
so my friends told me to stop talking about my eating disorder because it makes them feel bad.
what?? the fuck?? like??
if it makes you feel bad? imagine how i feel? i am now completely isolating myself lmao

too real...
Created: Wed Aug 9 13:37:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6snxil/too_real/

[Discussion] DAE crave straight fats
/u/slimmer_lite [5'5" | 125 | 21.5 | GW: 118 | UGW: 110]
Created: Wed Aug 9 12:49:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6snlt4/dae_crave_straight_fats/
DAE crave and/or eat straight-up fats when fasting or high restricting? Especially when I was in my lower weight range (114ish) I would literally eat tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil. Which is like, 120 calories in one go. And doesn't even taste good? It was disgusting but I guess for some reason it would satisfy my cravings. And butter. Omg, butter! I would eat it with pretzel sticks, or make a piece of toast and butter fat would pool on it. So gross. I guess my binge probs around cheese and peanut butter maybe stem from the same fats cravings. Anyone got an answer as to why my body does that??? And how I can stop those cravings?

On mobile, can't flair or tag. Sorry!

[Goal] Starting a fast again
/u/MakingBadDecisions [5'7" | 131lbs | BMI 20.45 | Female]
Created: Wed Aug 9 12:23:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6snf6i/starting_a_fast_again/
Just posting to keep me motivated on it and so I can update and feel proud. Fast starts today.

Diet cokes/black coffee/green tea only until Saturday is the goal. If I can make it to then it will be like half a day longer than my longest fasting period.

Can't believe how much of a whale I've become since recovery and being on antidepressants.

[Rant/Rave] back at it yet again lol!
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18 | 22F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 12:22:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sneyd/back_at_it_yet_again_lol/
i stopped counting calories/heavily restricting for a few weeks (some days i even ate like 2,000 calories?!?!) and i know that i've gained weight--not much, but enough that i notice and i feel gross and know that the only way to maintain a low/underweight bmi is to restrict so! back to counting calories and heavily restricting i guess. my boss was going to take me out to eat and i freaked out because i brought a clif bar (relatively safe food) for lunch but then she rescheduled and i'm relieved lmao

guess i can't ditch disordered eating just yet. i'm glad this community exists tbh, you all make me feel less alone with food issues ✌️

[Intro] Hi there, I just lost 100lbs and I'm obsessed with losing weight to get what I want. I hope I fit in.
/u/tinycode [5'5" | HW 250 | CW 150 | GW1 120 | 22F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 12:05:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6snaw7/hi_there_i_just_lost_100lbs_and_im_obsessed_with/
I'm a long time lurker, so I thought I would finally introduce myself.

I recently lost 100lbs in 4 months after listening to how [Elna Baker](https://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/589/transcript) did it. I was on prescription diet medication, EC stacks, and went on a lowfat diet. I gained weight trying Keto prior to being on medication. Even though I kept my carbs under 20g, a fat-based and protein based diet is extremely calorie dense. Keto only enabled me to binge on cheese, meat, and diet coke. You lose weight, but only through water really.

I just accepted a new bioengineering job where I start mid September. When I was 250lbs, I was denied to my in-person interview, and I truly believe that losing the weight was the only reason why I was hired a year later. I had more confidence, I wore nicer interviewer clothes, I was able to study more because I wasn't insecure about being in a coffee shop or a library, thinking about all the rolls on my body when I would sit or ordering a bagel and thinking if people thought I should of ate an apple.

I got to choose my team for this job. My team is mainly skinny, intellectual Asian and White women (I'm also Asian). I remember when we were having dinner, some of the women couldn't eat because they were stress about a deadline or another said that she had a big salad for lunch and couldn't eat. They skip meals out of pure drive and I'm having a mental battle for hours about what I need to eat next. These women are so driven, successful, intelligent, and naturally skinny, it makes me so jealous. All their clothes just hang on their bodies. When they walk in heels, it looks like they're going down a fashion show.

With all this mind, losing weight didn't do anything for my mentality. It just made it worst. If I'm not on medication, I eat everything in sight. I still think I'm 250lbs. I judge happy people that weigh what I used to weigh. It takes so much energy for me to fucking put food down, crying almost.

Let me just be the new girl in the office who eats salads and La Croix, the *thin* girl who all the older women emulate, and all the men want to get to know and help because she's too fragile.

I hope to connect and rant with you all lovely people on our personal journeys to perfection.

[Other] [UPDATE] Metabolism study
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 200 lb | GW: 120 lb | F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 12:03:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6snaj2/update_metabolism_study/
So I had a phone interview with the lady searching for subjects today, and it turns out I'm not qualified- they're looking for people who exercise less than 150 min/week, and I blow through that every day just walking to work/to the store/back and forth from lab/etc.

Oh well, goodbye $3600 ;-;

(It may be a blessing in disguise, they're looking for people maintaining their weight, and if I had to purposely maintain this I think I'd actually have a breakdown)

[Discussion] DAE find that when things go wrong in your life it jump starts a new round of restriction?
/u/mapvi [5'4 | CW: 136.8ish | LW: 124.4 | GW1: 132 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 11:53:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sn7pd/dae_find_that_when_things_go_wrong_in_your_life/
I basically just got led on by a guy that's become my best friend, and I told him we shouldn't talk anymore. Obviously this fucking sucks and I wish it weren't the case, but at the same time I've found a positive in it: I'm restricting again. I've been stuck in a binge cycle, so it's nice being upset enough that restriction is coming almost naturally again.

This really isn't that insightful, but idk I wanted to share. :/

[Rant/Rave] DAE find that when things go wrong in your life it jump starts a new round of restriction?
Created: Wed Aug 9 11:52:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sn7mn/dae_find_that_when_things_go_wrong_in_your_life/

[Discussion] Does anyone else call a 'normal' sized meal a binge?
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 115 | 19.66 | :(+30pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Wed Aug 9 11:49:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sn6ti/does_anyone_else_call_a_normal_sized_meal_a_binge/
I just ate like a 622 calorie meal because my mom made me go eat with her and I feel absolutely disgusting.

[Goal] I DID IT! (Broke into 130s!)
Created: Wed Aug 9 11:45:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sn5pa/i_did_it_broke_into_130s/
I'm back down below 10 stone! I gained like 10 pounds over 3 months and I've lost it all again! I'm back to where I was before I moved here!

Now to get below 126lb (9stone)!

[Goal] Happiness is...
/u/cryptic_constipator [5'3 | 95.4]
Created: Wed Aug 9 11:05:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6smvov/happiness_is/

[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo
Created: Wed Aug 9 11:00:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6smua2/daily_thinspo/

[Humor] What to wear what to wear.
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 124.8lbls |19.82|-40 (then +30 lol)| female]
Created: Wed Aug 9 10:44:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6smqcm/what_to_wear_what_to_wear/

[Discussion] DAE binge before a big test?
/u/snaafuuu [5'3| 200 | 36.41 | -3.2 | F |]
Created: Wed Aug 9 10:12:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6smiia/dae_binge_before_a_big_test/
I have a big test today and I usually talk myself into eating SOMETHING so I'm not distracted by my stomach and its probably the healthy thing to do to eat before a test. But I usually end up bingeing like crazy and feel even shittier. Anyone else do this?

[Rant/Rave] Just a reminder
/u/High_as_red [5'4 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 09:56:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6smeks/just_a_reminder/

[Help] My boyfriend took away my scale last night.
Created: Wed Aug 9 09:22:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sm6em/my_boyfriend_took_away_my_scale_last_night/
The title says it. I had restricted last week Monday-Friday and "lost" 4 lbs in the process and I was so happy. I say "lost" because I know somewhere in the back of my mind that I didn't actually lose that much weight, it was mostly just water weight. But then we went to my family's cottage over the weekend, and after weighing myself last night I had "gained" those 4 lbs back. Again, I say "gained" because somewhere in the back of my fucked up mind, I know I didn't gain 4 lbs in three days. He tried to convince me of that but I got upset and started crying. He stormed into my bathroom and took away the scale, saying "you're going to fucking kill yourself over this". Not kill myself because I'm starving, no, I'm actually overweight. He thinks I'm going to kill myself because I am absolutely obsessed with my weight, with that number on the scale. I ALWAYS have been.

I need help. I don't know what's normal anymore. Do normal people think about their weight every day? Do normal people physically claw at their flabby thighs and punch themselves in the stomach to punish themselves, or fantasize about cutting off strips of fat? That's an actual question, do normal people do that? I don't know anymore...

[Rant/Rave] Actual conversation I had yesterday
Created: Wed Aug 9 09:08:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sm2x0/actual_conversation_i_had_yesterday/

[Other] "You're so light"
Created: Wed Aug 9 07:59:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sln63/youre_so_light/

[Rant/Rave] The best birthday present πŸŽ‚ [Rave]
/u/uiume [5'4" | CW:122.8 | 21.72 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 07:55:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6slmcq/the_best_birthday_present_rave/
Okay so I used the losertown calculator and I'm really excited (And I'd assume it's pretty on track as it says every seven days I'll lose 1-1.5 pounds at 850 calories a day...I know it's not 100% accurate but it at least gives me a general timeframe to follow and keeps me motivated.) By my birthday, October 11th, if all goes relatively to plan, I should be around 110 lbs(my 2nd GW)!! Even if I don't get that low, I should at least already be at my original goal weight of 115 lbs (the calculator says I should be there by ~9/13).
Idk I'm just really happy because I've been doing so well with restricting and consciously eating and if anything my mood and energy levels have improved since I've lowered my calories (less is more?) So I really think my goals are within reach and even if they take longer than expected I know I'll be able to get there regardless. Being this optimistic and focused on my goals is really helping me realize that gluttony and overindulging on food is not something I need in my life and I am happier when I am making a conscious effort to improve upon myself. I'm genuinely happy and my depression has almost ceased to exist as of late.

[Help] [question] not really ed related, i'll take this down once i get an answer lol
Created: Wed Aug 9 07:34:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6slhv2/question_not_really_ed_related_ill_take_this_down/

[Discussion] fellow veggies!!
/u/foxlatte [5'8" | cw: 180.4 | bmi: 27.1 | gw: 125 | 21f]
Created: Wed Aug 9 07:17:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6slecq/fellow_veggies/
how do you guys get low cal protein??? i always seem to be "filling up" (lol rip) on carbs! 😰😰😰

edit: i don't really like tofu...

[Rant/Rave] I got hit by a car and now I'm unable to go to the gym
/u/OneCanNeverBeTooThin [F | 5'5" | HW: 216 | CW: 120 | GW: 100]
Created: Wed Aug 9 06:24:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sl40u/i_got_hit_by_a_car_and_now_im_unable_to_go_to_the/
I had a car literally run over my foot a couple of hours ago and that is the one thing I'm most upset about - not being able to train.

Nothing is broken but the ligament is severely damaged and who know how long it will take to heal. Right now my leg is in a cast and I can barely walk.

I feel fucking crushed. Gym was the only thing that kept my self-hatred under at least some control. I wake up in the mornings for the sake of going to the gym. My job sucks. My social life is barely existent. Exercising was really the only thing that made me feel better.

Knowing myself I'm either going to get fat now or fall into another stupid restriction cycle.

This sucks. This sucks so much. Why couldn't it be just a normal boring work day :(

[Discussion] It's the little things that make me want to die
/u/ignorado [πŸ‘: ignorado]
Created: Wed Aug 9 06:23:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sl3sn/its_the_little_things_that_make_me_want_to_die/
It is 8am, and I want to die. Like always.

β€’ It's how I can't look at a banana without thinking "this potassium will help me not faint during my upcoming fast"

β€’ It's how I can't eat breakfast without feeling like I've already failed the day

β€’ It's how I can't look at a calendar without automatically skipping to 21 days in advance telling myself that's the next time I'm allowing myself to eat

β€’ It's how I can't ever go through my fasting plans and end up crying at 5 am in my own vomit and blood

β€’ It's how I can't consume anything without wondering how its texture will change on the way back up

β€’ It's how I can't go anywhere without my phone because I absolutely need to know how many steps I take a day

β€’ It's how I can't trust nutrition labels and have to add 50 extra calories to everything I log

β€’ It's how my fingers always reek of bile and my knuckles are always red and sore

β€’ It's how I can't ever buy the normal version if I know there's a sugar-free or fat-free option

β€’ It's how I can't walk out of a grocery store without a 12 pack of Diet Coke

β€’ It's how I can't drink coffee with milk and sugar without making myself violently sick for the rest of the day

β€’ It's how I can't walk around in public without being paranoid someone is looking at me and thinking I'm fat

β€’ It's how I can't brush or wash my hair without praying it won't fall out

β€’ It's how I can't go out and enjoy the summer with the rest of my friends because the peer pressure and happiness is too risky for my ED tendencies

β€’ It's how I can't have steady relationships with any guy I date because as soon as I sense sexual tension, I leave to avoid him seeing my naked body

β€’ It's how I can't ever give my parents an explanation for why I never eat in front of them but keep on gaining more weight

β€’ It's how I can't go shopping without looking at every single XS dress wondering when I can finally shop that aisle

β€’ It's how I can't go out to restaurants because it's too hard to hide my swollen eyes and chipmunk cheeks after purging in a public bathroom

It's the little things. I will never fucking understand people who think anorexia/bulimia/EDNOS is a diet or a lifestyle you can choose.

This isn't a fucking diet. This isn't a fucking lifestyle. This is a fucking living nightmare you can't wake up from. This is a life where you're constantly in a state of panic because a gun is being pointed at you 24/7, but you're the fucking cunt behind the trigger and there's nothing you can do about it.

[Discussion] August 9th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 06:21:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sl3io/august_9th_2017_question_of_the_day/
What was your last sent text message?

[Intro] Hey :)
/u/fLuFFLet0n [163cm | 53kg | 21 BMI | 37kg lost overall l f]
Created: Wed Aug 9 06:15:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sl2gr/hey/
Hello! I have been a long time lurker and I really like this place so I decided to post now.

Ever since I am small, I had an unnormal relationship to food. Food soothes me like nothing else. I was overweight my whole childhood and teen years. I was a binge eater. Food as my only friend, how sad right? I lost a lot of weight due to a chamelion like ED. But just last year I found out that my eating is actually disordered, as I developed bulimia (bp and restriction episodes).

Just wanted to say that this is such a beautiful sub with friendly people! We are all in the same boat, right? Stay awesome. Also if you wanna message or vent, I am here β™₯

[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 09, 2017
Created: Wed Aug 9 06:12:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sl1su/daily_food_diary_august_09_2017/
This is a daily food diary thread for August 09, 2017.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)

[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday August 09, 2017
Created: Wed Aug 9 06:10:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sl1ku/way_to_go_wednesday_august_09_2017/
This is the weekly achievement thread for August 09, 2017.

This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!


Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Thinspo] Thinspiration 8.09
Created: Wed Aug 9 04:41:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sknc8/thinspiration_809/

[Help] What to do when periods are gone?
/u/carlems [5'1| CW: 106 | GW: 94 | -14]
Created: Wed Aug 9 04:05:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ski51/what_to_do_when_periods_are_gone/
I'm sorry for asking many probably stupid questions lately. I couldn't find answers from internet and I'm getting concerned..

So. Last time my periods came was in January. I went to see my school's doctor in May (which I made a post of, too) and she said nothing helpful, just 'try to gain weight'.

I gained weight during summer. Not intentionally but by binging. Periods didn't come back. Now I've lost said weight. Periods still gone.

I'm only 16 years old and starting to get worried if this will affect some aspects of my life later. I've read about how people might not get children if their hormones get too messed up like this for a long time. That's my greatest fear, but I don't know what to do. I took blood tests, too, but they came out perfectly good.

So what should I do..? What will happen if they don't come back? Has this happened to any of you / if so, what did you do?

[Humor] :(:
Created: Wed Aug 9 02:36:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sk5pn/_/

[Discussion] DAE have a sibling to constantly compare themselves to?
/u/rebirthmark [5'3" | CW: 40.5kg | BMI: 16.01 | -8kg | F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 01:57:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sk0l4/dae_have_a_sibling_to_constantly_compare/
I think some of my body image issues stem from the constant comparison between me and my little sister. Growing up, she was the beautiful one and I was the 'smart' one. We look nothing alike. I'd be a millionaire if I got a dollar every time someone was like "omg is X your sister??? She's GORGEOUS, you definitely don't look like sisters"

She outgrew me at puberty and somehow she's managed to be skinnier, taller, more hourglass shaped and even have bigger boobs than me. Not to mention her traditionally beautiful face inherited from our mother (whereas I've always looked more masculine - I got our father's face and a slight underbite ;-;)

I haven't been comparing myself to my sis for a while, but we were recently abroad and she got a lot of attention from strangers which apparently triggered me. "She's your sister?? Gorgeous!!" yeah and also please tell me about my fascinating personality, will you :)))

Recently she's put on a fair amount of weight due to her constant snacking. Not quite in the overweight range yet, but she's noticeably chubbier. At least I can finally call myself the skinny sister. It's like she's reverse thinspo for me πŸ˜‚

[Discussion] Does anyone make food/encourage others to get dessert to watch them eat?
Created: Wed Aug 9 01:25:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sjw8x/does_anyone_make_foodencourage_others_to_get/
Hey guys! It's my first time posting. I had been lurking for quite sometime, and I was hoping to find something like my question up above.

But like my title, has anyone ever openly encouraged a friend/lover/family member/meal time buddy (if that's even a thing) get something super decadent and just watch them eat it in front of you?

When I was in high school (and as a young adult), I was obsessed with food. I used to eat once a day, and after that one meal, I'd...well, it never stayed down. I started self-recovery at around 22, but would relapse every once in a while. Whenever I "dieted" in the past (I did the HCG diet; HCD drops + 500cal days), I would always relapse. I'd binge, then...it wouldn't stay down. I was pretty good at hiding it since I was a house, but so far, it's been okay.

I have noticed that since changing my current lifestyle, I really can't eat the things I used to eat. It's terrible, but sometimes I'll see someone overweight going into a restaurant and I'll be so jealous that they can eat the foods I can't eat. Like, right now, my full day is supposed to be at 1389. I'm barely having 900 (after a 2-day water/coffee fast).

Anyway, back to why I asked my question. I hate myself for this, but I always low-key encourage my bf to get dessert. Or get an appetizer with his gigantic dinner; for the sole purpose of watching him eat it. And I stare at him so intensely when he does it! He loves chicken tenders and fries, and I will legit watch him eat. It's a little creepy. Apparently, when I look at him, it's either with an expression of disgust or blatant jealousy.

Does anyone else go through this?


He's not fat; he's pretty average, with a little bit of pooch on his belly. I feel terrible that he's my scapegoat. I also HIGHLY encourage him to get pastries at a Korean bakery so I can ask him how delicious his deep fried red bean bun tastes like.

If this is not an okay subject, I totally get it; I'll take it down.

[Rant/Rave] craving a big bowl of cheerios right now
Created: Wed Aug 9 00:51:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sjrar/craving_a_big_bowl_of_cheerios_right_now/

[Rant/Rave] Stretch marks from being overweight
/u/DirtyxVans [5'5 | CW 151 | GW110 | TF]
Created: Wed Aug 9 00:50:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sjr4i/stretch_marks_from_being_overweight/
I let myself go in the past and I got deep stretch marks they're already white and faded but they remain deep looking. I hate my body so much. I don't even think getting to my goal weight will make me look better because of these marks.

[Help] Could you help me with figuring out how much of my recent weight loss is water weight?
/u/carlems [5'1| CW: 106 | GW: 94 | -14]
Created: Tue Aug 8 23:47:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sjhyw/could_you_help_me_with_figuring_out_how_much_of/
Guys. Reached my lowest weight yet today by Very High restriction for a few days.
I went from 108 pounds to 103 in a short time - but that's the thing, too short time went by.

I've been eating under 600 calories for three days now, and yesterday evening the scale showed almost two pounds more than it was now, so I don't think the 103 is accurate. Do you have any idea how much of the weight can come back when I continue to do my usual 800-calorie days?

(I'm sorry if this is confusing to read, I'm tired and couldn't find the exactly right words)

[Rant/Rave] Those of you without a scale or who don't weigh themselves, how???
Created: Tue Aug 8 23:15:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sjczj/those_of_you_without_a_scale_or_who_dont_weigh/

[Rant/Rave] Recently have been feeling like a fake as fuck fat girl. So I took this picture to remind myself how far I've come.
/u/MidnightBlueFox [5'5 | CW: 132lbs | BMI: 22 | -18lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 22:51:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sj90x/recently_have_been_feeling_like_a_fake_as_fuck/

[Humor] Im looking forward to tomorrow πŸ’₯
/u/rxBootySlayer [6'0| 194.6 | GW 145 | -45.4lbs | 26F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 21:59:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sizi2/im_looking_forward_to_tomorrow/

[Help] Tofu friendly recipes??
/u/rxBootySlayer [6'0| 194.6 | GW 145 | -45.4lbs | 26F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 21:41:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6siwbq/tofu_friendly_recipes/
I want to try to go back to being vegetarian and I've never eaten tofu but it sounds like something I might enjoy.

Besides miso soup please.

Love you all-beautiful ladies and men πŸ–€

[Rant/Rave] Oh wow someone's planning a junk food night.....
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Tue Aug 8 21:30:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6siu4n/oh_wow_someones_planning_a_junk_food_night/
Said the guy at the grocery store checkout at 11pm.

I haven't eaten all day...have been so good at restriction, and beyond depressed. Had a shit day at work and here is this old mAn making me feel horrible over buying a frozen cheese pizza and about 8 normal size cookies from the self serve bakery at wegmans. Like wtf man!

Half is for my boyfriend who's making me eat tonight. He's noticed I've been losing. So I figured perfect binge night, and back to it tomorrow. I can do this!

Why do people think this is okay!?!

[Help] I may be nude on TV in five days.
Created: Tue Aug 8 21:27:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sitqa/i_may_be_nude_on_tv_in_five_days/

[Discussion] Any exercises that could be done in a tiny bathroom?
Created: Tue Aug 8 21:22:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sisu9/any_exercises_that_could_be_done_in_a_tiny/
I can't let anyone see me exercise, and there's never a time of day where it'd be possible. My only option is the bathroom 😩

Any exercises yall know of that are effective and can be done in a small space??!

[Help] How to run without getting bored?
/u/tacehtelle [5"6 | 121 | 19.61 :( | 5 lbs :( | Female]
Created: Tue Aug 8 21:13:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sir3q/how_to_run_without_getting_bored/
So I run back and forth in my room (bc I like running in the dark and I don't like going outside) but I get like really bored while doing that. So what should I do? What do you guys do while running?

[Help] How to run with out getting bored
Created: Tue Aug 8 21:12:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6siqxe/how_to_run_with_out_getting_bored/

[Rant/Rave] I really just want to die from this...
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Tue Aug 8 20:28:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6siih4/i_really_just_want_to_die_from_this/
I'm in so much pain from binging and purging non-stop. I truly cannot stop and I'm physically hurting. My legs are cramping and I feel like shit but I have potassium pills from the hospital from when it was low after getting an IV.

And I'm seriously feeling really really bad right now and will probably take one after I finish purging because I don't want to die in my sleep because I have so so much to clean.

But the ED and depression makes anything hard to finish.

I am ready to die. I am. I don't think I can overcome this. My life is so meaningless and as much as I want to believe in hope I am stuck in a very bad b/p cycle.

I want to be done. Seventeen years. I can't make it. I don't want to keep living anymore.

I'm horribly lonely with this ED. I can't function at work or have meaningful friendships. I just have vomit bags and food stains.

I really want to die...I don't even know why I am posting this. I'm just in a very bad place and I don't see a light.

I don't feel human anymore. I cannot be loved in this state.

[Rant/Rave] I don't feel like I deserve to eat
Created: Tue Aug 8 20:27:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6siiga/i_dont_feel_like_i_deserve_to_eat/
I'm not really sure how to tag this but I guess it's a rant also I'm sorry if the formatting is bad I'm on my phone and I can't seem to do anything right lol

It sucks because as soon as the stupidest thing sets me off I become extremely negative and my first thought is to start restricting again or to do another fast because for some morbid reason it's my coping mechanism for fucking up.

It sucks because I don't even enjoy not eating or eating very little because I love food but the voice (not literal voice I swear I'm not that crazy you guys) inside my head goes "stupid ugly worthless piece of shit don't even think about eating dinner you don't deserve to put anything in your mouth" and I feel terrible for trying to eat or disobey that voice and it makes me feel even worse and even more negative and hence the cycle begins again.

Does anyone remember my last post when I mentioned maintaining? haha just kidding time to drop another five pounds

[Rant/Rave] gained to a healthy weight and feeling really strong urges to restrict again ugh
Created: Tue Aug 8 19:40:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6si95l/gained_to_a_healthy_weight_and_feeling_really/

[Help] Any way to force a whoosh?
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 19:15:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6si3wx/any_way_to_force_a_whoosh/
I've plateaued. I've been steadily losing weight and now I bounce between 82kg and 83kg. I'm going crazy.

[Rant/Rave] Off topic
Created: Tue Aug 8 18:58:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6si0gs/off_topic/

[Intro] hi bbs
/u/slimmer_lite [5'5" | 125 | 21.5 | GW: 118 | UGW: 110]
Created: Tue Aug 8 18:41:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6shwy5/hi_bbs/
Just a lil lurker lettin' it all hang out! (lol fur real tho)

been dealing with on-and-off EDNOS for about 6 years -- b/p, restriction, exercise bulimia blah blah blah. Getting pretty fed up (heh) with it all; just looking for some non-judgmental support and "i feel u fam." find this sub pretty cathartic! thx.

[Discussion] Anyone else here binge when the scale is showing you're losing weight?
Created: Tue Aug 8 16:30:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sh4tn/anyone_else_here_binge_when_the_scale_is_showing/
Not intentionally. But do you happen to be more prone to binging when the scale is down because "maybe i can afford this".

I never premeditate binges. The just happen. But risking a binge with trigger foods happens more often when I'm liking the direction the scale is heading.

I have 2 issues with the scale:

1. Checking the scale when I'm losing makes me more prone to binging

2. Avoiding the scale on a several day binge

So it's like i can't live with or without it. Kinda effed.

[Rant/Rave] Had a dream I ate pasta, actually a nightmare
Created: Tue Aug 8 16:27:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sh434/had_a_dream_i_ate_pasta_actually_a_nightmare/
Woke up in a panic! Gave up carbs 7 months ago. On another note my doctor called to make sure I'm seeing a therapist this week. I want to cancel and they are admit I go. I'm not even close to under weight. But when I went about my bruises they suspect I might have a eating disorder. I don't want to tell them anything or to be put on medication. I'm always scared to open up to doctors. I don't want to look like a bad mother because of my food anxiety. I always try to eat at least 1000 calories day.

[Discussion] Does Anybody Else like watching gross food recipes?
/u/butterflyjellyfish [5'8" | 10 | 27.3 | 34 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 16:14:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sh11c/does_anybody_else_like_watching_gross_food_recipes/
I deliver pizza for a living and I'm never LESS hungry than when I get off after work, because I've just watched congealed grease and cheese all day, and I've started watching really gross meme-y food recipes whenever I get hunger cravings.

Like [THIS MASTERPIECE](https://youtu.be/E12Z1u53b1Y) for example. Nothing kills the desire to eat faster.

I used to curb the hunger pangs by looking at pictures of food and recipes and things, because I could sort of pretend I was eating them, but this is WAY better. It's like aversion therapy!

[Thinspo] When you from six years ago is your thinspo
Created: Tue Aug 8 16:06:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sgz7i/when_you_from_six_years_ago_is_your_thinspo/

[Rant/Rave] E-cigarettes and curbing cravings (Rave)
/u/sweettutu64 [5'3 | 143.8 lbs | 26.18 | -51.2 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 15:30:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sgqjn/ecigarettes_and_curbing_cravings_rave/
So I bought one of those disposable menthol e-cigarettes with nicotine because I've heard nicotine curbs cravings! Maybe it's totally a placebo effect but it's been working. I don't even care if it's all in my head, as long as it works. I figured if I'm going to be indulging in unhealthy behavior it might as well be the kind that doesn't leave tar and soot in my lungs, right?

[Humor] Y'all keep looking at models n shit for thinspo and I'm just like
/u/janesavage [170 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 18F ]
Created: Tue Aug 8 15:24:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sgp4q/yall_keep_looking_at_models_n_shit_for_thinspo/

[Tip] For your constipation
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 15:23:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sgp1l/for_your_constipation/

I've been restricting for a few weeks now and while my BMs were awesome I seem to have hit a snag.

Last night I tried for 30 minutes and just nothing. So I tried the massage technique in the link below and this morning ice had somewhat of a BM. Not the stunners I usually have, but beggars can't be choosers.

She starts the actual massage at 3 minutes.


EDIT: just had a much better BM.

[Tip] Tesco Safe Foods (UK & ROI)
/u/newtoskate [5'8| CW:128.9lbs | BMI:19.6 | 3rd Relapse: 5lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 14:14:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sg7pt/tesco_safe_foods_uk_roi/
Hey guys, I am from Ireland and was on here a few days ago about monster energy drinks, I know thought most of you probably despise liquid calories and in my first cycle through anorexia I did too but I thought I would Share a few Tesco drinks I like when restricting:

- Tesco Sparkling Water flavored (Specifically the peach and passion-fruit flavor its heaven in a drink) its 2kcal per 100ml or 20kcal for the whole liter but makes me feel full for so long.

- Tesco Still flavored water, Same quality as the sparkling with less calories with 8kcal for the litre.

-Options Hot chocolate, This one is for a treat every once in a while as its 40kcal which for me is a bit steep for a mug of hot chocolate, but some days you just need a chocolate fix!

-And of course Monster Energy Ultra, no need to explain 9kcal for a 500ml can, keeps your energy up.

Any more Tesco safe food or drink? comment below

[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Being in photos is the worst
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 13:21:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sftzb/rant_being_in_photos_is_the_worst/
I went to the beach yesterday in a bathing suit, which was a huge accomplishment for me and also a huge struggle (see: all my previous posts lately). My sister is really into Instagram and taking the perfect picture, so she took like ~100 shots of me in my bathing suit at the beach and then today was like "look through them and pick one so you can upload it!" And so I started flipping through them, determined to find something to like about myself because I've been trying to recover for the past few weeks since I hit my original GW, but... in every one of those pictures, my hips looked huge, my thighs fat, my stomach area barrel chested, my boobs too big, and my face asymmetrical and fat in the places it should be thin and too thin in the places it should be round. All I wanted was to be able to see myself as something beautiful. All the other girls on Instagram seem to be able to manage it, but I just can't. And I feel so discouraged because this is the lowest weight I've been in a long time and I've been eating normally for about two and a half weeks now and I thought things were going to get better but now all I see is this creature that will never, ever look delicate and thin, not even if I weigh nothing at all. Right now I just want to purge even though I've never done it before and I know it won't help, or just turn into some formless energy being instead of having to be a person. I just don't know what to do. I will never look the way I feel like I'm supposed to look but I can't stand being the way I am any more.

[Other] So I might be participating in a metabolism research study
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 201 lb | GW: 120 lb | F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 13:08:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sfqnx/so_i_might_be_participating_in_a_metabolism/
So at my school, one of the labs is doing this study on lean and overweight participants, putting them on a diet for 16 weeks to study changes in metabolism, weight, and body composition.

And they'll pay for all the meals and up to 3600 USD.

I don't even know if this really fits into this sub, but you guys are all great, and I wanted to share the opportunity I might have- I think the extra pressure of doing it for science will actually curb my binging urges.

All I know is I have a phone interview tomorrow, and I'm kinda bummed that I even qualify as fat enough, but that I'm stoked to lose weight for science. Maybe that's the motivation I need when I don't care about my own health lol

[Intro] hello!
/u/trashboating_ [⭐ 5'1" | CW: ~93 | ~18.3 | GW: 77 | F ⭐]
Created: Tue Aug 8 12:49:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sfltr/hello/
my name is ly and after lurking for a long time (over a year!) i've finally decided to join. I don't actually know what to put in an introduction post... i've had an eating disorder since i was about 8, so almost 7 years at this point.
i'm very much looking forward to talking with all you you. :)

[Thinspo] Hannah Snowdon
/u/daeboo [5ft2/87.2lbsπŸŒ‘]
Created: Tue Aug 8 12:27:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sfg5s/hannah_snowdon/

[Help] Takeaway! Help!
/u/FastPhoria [5'10 | 126 | 18.1 / 17.6 | GW: 119 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 12:13:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sfccq/takeaway_help/
I have to have Indian takeout with my family tonight (already ordered) - how do I stop myself pigging the entire lot?

Indian is my one true weakness 😱

And I was doing so well!!

[Rant/Rave] walmart runs are now a nightmare. fuck this ED.
/u/starpocalypse [4'10 | justfat | UGW: 77 | 20F | πŸ‘: starpocalypse]
Created: Tue Aug 8 12:12:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sfca4/walmart_runs_are_now_a_nightmare_fuck_this_ed/
Went on a midnight run to grab a few essentials with the SO and found myself surrounded by more sorority girls than normal. I know that it's rush week and all so the concentrations in town seem more than it really is, and it'll change when the rest of campus gets back.

But it's one thing to see thinspo on Instagram, but to see thinspo at walmart when you're already feeling frumpy and all you can think is that their laughs between each other are totally directed at you and your big drumstick thighs.

It's not their fault, really. I know that. They're just doing normal things and probably don't even know I exist. But I feel like I'm constantly under this spotlight no matter where I go, and it's neon bright and is totally screaming "LOOK AT THIS FAT UGLY FUCK" and I can't do anything to hide it.

Shit's hard, yo. Looks like I'm waking up at 5am for any groceries from now on.

[Rant/Rave] "but logically you know you're not overweight!"
/u/JackSkeletal [5'7" | Male]
Created: Tue Aug 8 11:24:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sf0pf/but_logically_you_know_youre_not_overweight/
No. No, Brenda, I don't actually know on some mystical level that I'm not overweight.

I have an eating disorder, Brenda. I look at myself and see a My 600-Pound Life star.

Isolating myself again today. Don't feel like I deserve support for my ED until I'm as thin as the people at my support group. Feel like a whiny fat kid appropriating the term "ED" for sympathy. Like no recovery materials are intended for me, like my support group was secretly disgusted by me (like everyone else).

I'm too scared to know how much I weigh, but I was legitimately frightened that I was having an obesity-induced heart attack last night.

I don't know how to get help if it's only for thin people. Maybe I'm not supposed to get help. Maybe this is what the "recovery community" wants me to do.

Please tag rant/rave.

[Rant/Rave] When you take a half pound poop.
/u/for-your-pleasure [5'3" | CW120ish | GW99 | AFAB/they]
Created: Tue Aug 8 11:17:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6seyzy/when_you_take_a_half_pound_poop/

[Rant/Rave] Lost 15 pounds or so in two weeks and still feel empty and accomplished. Possible trigger warning
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Tue Aug 8 11:09:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6seww2/lost_15_pounds_or_so_in_two_weeks_and_still_feel/
On mobile flair as rant rave

Hello lovelies it's me. I joined a gym last a week and a half to two weeks ago and have worked out three hours a day up until today.

I was spend 5 hours in the gym doing running and lifting all on an empty stomach not really eating, not eating outside a post work out energy drink. Then I would walk two miles home, shower and change and walk another two miles to work.

At work I cook for 8 hours walking a lot and standing and cooking which I guess is considered an active job but you would know cause a lot of my coworkersare either average or overweight and enjoy the comfort foods of the business

Mini rant within rant I find shamelessly obese people especially "fat acceptance" types really triggering and upsetting. I have several coworkers who are pushing 250 to 300lbs and it's like they don't know. And while I acknowledge not all vegans are healthy I feel like it perpetuates a bad image for our vegan establishment. End mini rant.

So after work I walk around a small lake park on my way home with amounts to 5 miles or so. I guess I walk between 10 and 15 miles a day not counting steps at work cause I charge my phone usually at work and don't walk that much for it to count.

I have rounded down on all the calories I have burned and still been around a 3000 calorie deficit because several hours at the gym a lot running or doing elliptical, 1000, work giving a very conservative estimate of 500 to 550 even though a lot of estimates give me almost 1000 for an 8 hour shift. Plus almost 1000 of just walking several miles puts me between 2500 and 3000 the last few days not counting what I would need for maintainence even though I don't think o need maintainence because I have a lot of fast and muscle.

Of this last week I had three to 4 binge days where I also worked out and went to the gym and for that week not counting maintainence calories (I have lose it set to zero calorie for the day so I only keep track of what I consume or burn. ) I was still under for the week by 8700 calories also rounding down.

So I woke up this morning to a weigh in of 15 or so pounds less than the last time I checked or knew my weight which would have been at home or my last doctors appointment. I feel like this is all unrealistic but I want to keep going.

I feel like one bite will balloon me up 15 pounds. I don't trust my body or metabolism or the calories burned or on any packaging. I fantasize about small meals in the future when I get closer to my ugw and have to try and maintain.


That just doesn't make sense. I feel like my body is a dud and doesn't respond like bodies should I feel like I have a metabolic disorder or something wrong with me I feel like I gain no matter the amount especially above 1500 I just hold onto food and water.

So weightloss aside I am not happy cause it's not my goal weight and I need to keep up this rigorous routine for another 2 months potentially before I am close to my ugw even though I am almost a third of the way there after 2 weeks..

I just feel empty. Literally and figuratively. All this and I feel nothing.


[Discussion] Pain killers while restricting?
/u/follyflop [5'9" | CW: fucking ew | GW: much less | F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 11:02:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sev84/pain_killers_while_restricting/
Does anyone have experience taking painkillers while restricting? I went to the doctor yesterday for back issues and they gave me Vicodin, Flexeril, and some steroids. The flexeril and steroids I can take just fine without eating much but the Vicodin makes me completely miserable if I haven't eaten. Yesterday I binged like 2000 calories after I took it because I needed something in my stomach. Has anyone else had this issue? Is there a way to take it without having to eat everything? I tried even taking a half a pill but still felt like I was going to pass out and got super hot and dizzy and ended up eating. Thank you!

[Other] Does anyone play roblox?
/u/tacehtelle [5"6 | 121 | 19.61 :( | 5 lbs :( | Female]
Created: Tue Aug 8 10:37:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sep0r/does_anyone_play_roblox/
I know its such a weird topic but i'm lonely and want some friends. Its a really good distraction for when your hungry so if anyone does play, you should PM me your username (Please don't delete my post its kinda on topic ish)

[Rant/Rave] |Rave| So uh, this just happened
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |110.8 | -109.2 | GW: 110 | UGW:105 | 20A]
Created: Tue Aug 8 10:33:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6senv3/rave_so_uh_this_just_happened/

[Other] Meet ups?
/u/smallest_madeline [F 5'1" | CW 98.8 | BMI 19.5 | HW 125 | LW 80| GW 85]
Created: Tue Aug 8 10:27:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6semho/meet_ups/
Hey someone posted the thing about wanting to have IRL eating disordered friends. I was wondering if this community has ever done a meetup by location or anything? How did it go? I would definitely be interested in something like this

[Tip] Halo top at aldi for $3.89!
/u/acidfairy [5'4" | CW: 133 | GW: 115 | -45 | 24F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 10:23:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6seldk/halo_top_at_aldi_for_389/

Best appetite suppressant?
/u/fiyacht524 [5'6" | 54kg | Female]
Created: Tue Aug 8 10:21:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sekw9/best_appetite_suppressant/

/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 57 | 19.05/18.82 | GW:<57 by 4/9 | UGW:<55 by 4/9 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 10:21:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sekvv/handed_in_my_masters_thesis_and_met_my_gw_a_month/
Technically I handed in yesterday but I haven't been home until today since I spent the day yesterday at FWB's house. Just weighed myself after a full day and I'm officially 57 kg. Next stop, 55 (or 54)!

[Rant/Rave] Karen Carpenter
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" β˜€οΈ attempting recovery β˜€οΈ πŸ‘ tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Tue Aug 8 10:05:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6segyb/karen_carpenter/
Such an incredible singer. Someone mentioned her in a thread and I realized that I grew up singing her music and listening to my mom sing it. The Carpenters music has been such a big part of my life and all this time I knew she died because of heart failure due to anorexia but it really didn't hit me til now how huge that is that I struggle with an eating disorder so much and she DIED because of hers.

It's really freaking depressing.

[Discussion] What do you do after you have a morning binge?
/u/Jtgonc [5'8 | CW : 166]
Created: Tue Aug 8 09:42:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sebax/what_do_you_do_after_you_have_a_morning_binge/
It's not even noon and I've already had: a Gatorade (140), 2 snickers (500), a kit kat (210), chips (220), and peanut butter crackers (250). Not my worst binge but still bad for (especially cause I still have the rest of my day)

I'm going to the gym tonight with a friend so that will help offset the binge, but what do you guys do for the rest of the day to fix the damage?

[Rant/Rave] My boss and I were talking today about BMIs
Created: Tue Aug 8 09:12:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6se416/my_boss_and_i_were_talking_today_about_bmis/
And she said she doesn't believe in BMI because she thinks they're bullshit because labels such as underweight, overweight, obese don't match with the looks. Then she said 'if I were to take the BMIs as being accurate and based on looks only I would say that you are anorexic, but you aren't'. Of course I said 'but I'm not, I don't look like I am anorexic'. And she said 'yes, you do. So that's why labels are stupid'.
I'm nowhere near my goal weight, I'm still fucking fat... But I'm confused about how I should feel about what she said.

[Discussion] what are your food rules?
/u/misterrazorz [159 | 44.4 | 17.9 | a]
Created: Tue Aug 8 08:35:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sdvgs/what_are_your_food_rules/
i wonder. are other people's more to do with calories restriction or controlling macros? in short i personally eat low-carb vegan between hours 1000 to 1600. please comment yours below? thanks

[Discussion] [discussion] dae sometimes wish they had a friend to struggle with
Created: Tue Aug 8 08:03:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sdof2/discussion_dae_sometimes_wish_they_had_a_friend/
i just read letting ana go and tbh all i want is a friend like jill. i feel like i could never ever encourage a friend to put themselves through this but i want someone to encourage *me* not to eat. i want someone to celebrate my little victories with. i want someone to shop for weird low calorie food with. i want someone who tells me i'm eating too much. idk, i'm rambling and i feel dumb but does anyone else feel this way?

[Help] Those who take biotin?
/u/guniver [5'2 | CW 99lbs | BMI 18.35 | GW 92lbs]
Created: Tue Aug 8 07:56:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sdmxj/those_who_take_biotin/
(Tldr at bottom of text)
Hi! My hair has been falling out in clumps and getting wiry and brittle. So I've gotten Biotin pills at the highest dose I can find in my country which is 600mcg. The daily dosage is labeled 1 pill a day but the pharmacist told me I should probably take 3-4 pills a day.
Then I found biotin in US has like 10,000 mcg??

If it helps, I'm taking multivitamins (no biotin in this), fish oil, evening primrose oil, probiotics daily and sometimes an additional iron supplement

tldr: I'm confused about dosage of biotin. Anyone can help me with this? Or just share your experience with biotin with me. Thanks!!

[Discussion] Anyone else scared that they will lose motivation?
Created: Tue Aug 8 07:27:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sdgub/anyone_else_scared_that_they_will_lose_motivation/
So I've been trying to restrict a lot recently, mostly because I can't bear to eat if I feel fat. However this weekend I had a massive four day binge and now I feel like giving up. I'm so scared that I will just give up, gain loads of weight back, then start again in a month and keep cycling. I wish I didn't crave food. I wish I just didn't want to eat. I wish I was SKINNY.

[Rant/Rave] I never feel more alive than when I'm fasting.
Created: Tue Aug 8 07:05:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sdcb2/i_never_feel_more_alive_than_when_im_fasting/
Eating anything makes me depressed because it always turns into a binge. I only have 100 or 0. Not eating is fine by me. Wellbutrin makes it so I'm not hungry anyway. And I'm on the second day of my 5 day fast (at least that's what I'm trying for I've only done 2.75 days before) and I'm so happy. I'm listening to music, getting a reasonable amount of sleep, feel more confident and happy. I did my chores yesterday and lived my life. BUT WHY THE FUCK CANT I JUST EAT LIKE A FUCKING NORMAL PERSON. I have an appt on Thursday for intake for a binge eating group that runs for 8 weeks starting in September.

[Discussion] Juice Cleanse?
/u/foxlatte [5'9" | cw: 185.2 | bmi: 26.9 | gw: 130 | 21f]
Created: Tue Aug 8 06:52:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sd9ot/juice_cleanse/
has anyone here done a juice cleanse?? a friend of mine is going to do one for 2 weeks and idk it sounds interesting

[Rant/Rave] ...at least I have more time to focus on my ED.
Created: Tue Aug 8 06:44:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sd8cf/at_least_i_have_more_time_to_focus_on_my_ed/
My boyfriend broke up with me out of the blue, in a text message, 10 minutes before I left for work. He blocked my number, and all social media accounts. He had a mutual friend tell me that if I went to his house, he'd call the police. Idk why this happened. An hour before all this he was telling me how much he loved me.

I'm devastated, but it fuels my ED. And now I can focus on that and I dont have to pretend to eat when we go out.

[Discussion] August 8th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 06:40:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sd7iq/august_8th_2017_question_of_the_day/
Do you make enough money?

Edit: I'm so excited at the response to this one! I was afraid nobody would want to discuss money because it's awkward, but since we're all pretty much anonymous anyway, who cares? Plus, some of our money problems *cough me* stem from our EDs or something related, like BED or mental health issues. I'm glad this opened up some conversation!

[Rant/Rave] Why am I so obsessed with the scale?
Created: Tue Aug 8 06:33:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sd6a5/why_am_i_so_obsessed_with_the_scale/
Last week I ate everything in sight and gained a ton of weight. I had an epiphany (wow, sassygillie, your face is fucking huge) and started restricting again. I came back from the night shift feeling light and airy for the first time in weeks. I decide to hop on the scale and its down 5 pounds down from yesterday! (def 100% water weight). Then, I remember I haven't had a BM in a while-- I could get the number down even more by the end of the day! Cue my delightful ED-fueled self tearing my house apart to find laxatives I definitely hid somewhere.

My house is a disaster, I'm crying because I found a picture of skinny me from high school, and I really really need to sleep.

Well, at least I can poop now.

[Help] Why do my pedometers suck??
Created: Tue Aug 8 06:20:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sd3yk/why_do_my_pedometers_suck/
I finally set up not one, but two, pedometers. They suck. First, any movement and they add a step. I mean just shake it for a second and it adds 5 steps. It's loud. It rattles. Like something inside is broken and every one can hear it. What's weird is that one of them is new, $5 (I'm a cheap ass) from Walmart. Help??

[Sticky] Self-care and Beauty Q+A August 08, 2017
Created: Tue Aug 8 06:10:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sd24h/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_august_08_2017/
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**


Self-care and beauty threads are posted every Tuesday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 08, 2017
Created: Tue Aug 8 06:10:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sd23p/daily_food_diary_august_08_2017/
This is a daily food diary thread for August 08, 2017.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)

[Discussion] DAE get told they're thin or too thin when they are just a normal weight?
Created: Tue Aug 8 06:01:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sd0dx/dae_get_told_theyre_thin_or_too_thin_when_they/
Sorry about this rant I just needed to get this out of my system to people that understand.

I was always a bit large growing up. Throughout middle school and high school I was slightly overweight. Then after high school I gained hard. Up to 250 pounds. I don't know if my flair is visible but it hasn't been updated in a while. I'm currently 5'8 and I weighed in just now at 138 after water fasting for 32 hours. My lowest weight was only 135.5. This is a healthy weight by Americas standards yet I'm always told I look very thin by everyone. Not even just family that hasn't seen my in a while, like people I work with who have only seen me at 150 and lower. I'm only about 15 pounds from being considered overweight and 18 pounds from being underweight.

Is it just because so many Americans are overweight that seeing someone that is a healthy weight is completely bizzare or what? I'm by no means thin. 138 is nowhere near my goal. What will people say if I actually hit my first goal at 120? Or if I make it to my ugw at 100? My mom said yesterday that I look "anorexic" as if that was a weight classification. I have so much fat everywhere, stomach, thighs, arms, neck, butt (especially butt). Do "normies" just not see it? My cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, they all say I need to stop losing weight and I'm getting too thin. I don't see these as compliments, I see this as a lie. I see it as people just not knowing what being healthy looks like. They can't see what I see. I barely fit into a medium and I'm wearing size 8 jeans.

And there's this girl I work with that is total thinspo. She's 5'1 90 pounds. Total fucking perfection. I wish i could be that short or have her bone structure. But most people actually would consider our BMIs to be about the same. People think we are as thin as each other. No we aren't the same. She snacks all day at work on the worst shit. Today was sour gummy worms from 7-11. 381 calories. For her snack. I could eat that much a day but she just snacks on 381 calories like it's nothing. Or she will eat something like munchies. She loves munchies. But 140 calories per serving??? And 8 servings per bag?????? That's 1120 calories. That's like 2-3 days worth of food. How do you just eat that and not think twice about what you're ingesting. Like I had 500 calories once on a day I was supposed to be fasting and almost immediately purged after. I can't even fathom how you just don't care about what you eat. I'm always concerned and I always feel like shit after eating something i shouldn't have.

Again sorry for this huge rant I just really really needed to talk about this right now. It's been in my head for days and then my mom brings up that anorexic comment. As if I even qualify for anorexia anyway. Maybe wannarexia.

[Rant/Rave] Personal life shit is shit and idk whether its helping me lose weight or if it's my new medication
Created: Tue Aug 8 04:47:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6scotg/personal_life_shit_is_shit_and_idk_whether_its/
Fuck, where do I even begin?

Work is stressful af (yay for PhDs!), I'm trying to work out how I'm going to move all my shit from one side of the city where I live (yay for moving) and my love life is a complete shit show.

First of all, I find out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me with his ex (she didn't know about me). I'm fucking distraught about that because I love him more than anything in the world. And he loves his ex more than he ever loved me.

They're no longer together. And the kicker? She left him and he has the audacity to come to me for support because he has no one else except his parents. I'm the only fucking person who knows everything about him doing what he did and he's asking me to help him get over her. So not only do I feel like the most inadequate person in the world, it really has not helped my depression, anxiety or body dysmorphia.

The weird thing is that in this situation I would definitely binge my fucking face off. 100% takeaways and sweets, chocolate, crisps, ice cream. Basically, if its edible, its in my mouth and I want it now.

But, I've not even hungry 99% of the time. I'm on 40mgs of prozac a day, which is meant to help with bingeing, but still, I didn't expect this level.

I'm sorry, I just wanted to rant about this because I can't talk to my friends about it. This is the most supportive place I know. I love you guys to bits.

Also, I wish we had halo top in the UK. I would be living on that shit right now.

[Rant/Rave] Nutella Nemesis
/u/carolineeo [5'7" | 101.8 | 16 | 22F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 02:37:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sc701/nutella_nemesis/
Lol my three younger sisters came back from camping with a large jar of nutella. Someone kill me. Living at home with my family for the summer has released the binge monster and I don't even recognize myself anymore. Two more weeks until I go back to living alone and restricting so hard.

[Discussion] DAE track the highest* weight of the day?
/u/selkieb [5'3 | 112 | 21 BMI | LW 80 | GW 110 | UGW 100 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 01:43:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sc03r/dae_track_the_highest_weight_of_the_day/
Edit: typos

Was interested in weighing habits and was reading through some older related threads on here. A lot of the community (at least a year ago) track their lowest weights...in the morning, after peeing, etc.

Maybe it's the masochist in me (she's a bitch), but since I started messing around with this kind of shit, I would weigh myself 2x--right after my last meal and then right before bed and NEVER naked.

At my most ridiculous, I would weigh myself after workouts in a huge sweatshirt and sneakers.

Usually, though, it's just my pjs but the diff with the "real" # can be .5 - 2 lbs.

It's like my cushion. It keeps me from getting too bent out of shape when the number is scary. When that happens, I'll weigh myself the next morning to see how serious the damage was--and then it motivates me throughout the day.

I only ask because tonight I weighed myself naked and got excited and wanted to update my banner, then thought--no, you need that cushion for when you fuck up again.

Also, it feels like a double win when I hit a goal with some clothing on.

Just curious--also would love to hear your weighing habits again in general since it seems to no longer be a recent topic!

[Help] My period just came again after ending 2 weeks ago, should this be a cause for concern?
Created: Tue Aug 8 01:39:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sbzjk/my_period_just_came_again_after_ending_2_weeks/

[Rant/Rave] Honest thoughts
Created: Tue Aug 8 01:33:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sbys9/honest_thoughts/
Me: wtf I can just work out and lose weight wtf do I purge for I'm giving myself acid reflux and I'm harming teeth fml

Me a second later: idk I think purging really helps me not gain weight and I dunno if I can handle gaining weight fml

[Other] restriction styles
/u/smallest_madeline [F 5'1" | CW 98.8 | BMI 19.5 | HW 125 | LW 80| GW 85]
Created: Tue Aug 8 01:31:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sbyh6/restriction_styles/
Survey time!

What is your restriction style? Do you try to do keto? Low-carb? Intermittent fasting? All your calories in one go? Small frequent meals? Meal plan? Only eating in front of others? Never eating in front of others? Just fasting as long as you can? Eat slowly? Eat it all quickly? Liquid calories? Do you worry about protein? Nutrients? Do you cycle your intake? Only safe foods?

Just kind of curious what everyone else does. I've noticed my restricting practices have changed since I have started to chew/swallow/purge more. Now when I'm keeping a meal down I want to make sure it's nutritious and protein rich whereas back in the day I felt like a winner because I could have whatever junk I wanted as long as I was under my goal.

[Help] Fell off, need help back on.
Created: Tue Aug 8 01:27:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sbxuu/fell_off_need_help_back_on/

[Humor] Hah-oh wait that's accurate
Created: Tue Aug 8 01:26:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sbxpc/hahoh_wait_thats_accurate/

[Other] Peach thread?
Created: Tue Aug 8 01:18:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sbwkh/peach_thread/

[Rant/Rave] I love "before and after"s
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 01:17:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sbwi0/i_love_before_and_afters/
I've always loved the idea of someone not seeing me for a while, and then I lose a bunch of weight and get all done up, and then when they see me they're surprised. Well, my boyfriend is on a business trip--he left this morning and he comes back Friday. I've going to do a protein fast and lose as much as possible of the 10lb I gained this month. I've also waited out on waxing my eyebrows for 6 weeks. I've been feeling shitty about myself so I haven't been wearing as much makeup as usual or dressing as nice (haven't worn a crop top in over a month :( ). I'm touching up with some teeth whitening strips. And I'll try to think of something else!

I want him to come back and think "wow," like he's going to miss me already after a week but I want to pop. I'm excited 😁

[Other] I FINALLY broke my binge!!!
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 00:22:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sbolr/i_finally_broke_my_binge/

[Rant/Rave] I hate yogurt now :((
/u/shoqer [154cm | CW: 38kg | BMI 16.2| GW: lower | 21y/o]
Created: Tue Aug 8 00:15:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sbnp7/i_hate_yogurt_now/
I'm on mobile so I don't know how to flair my post.
I was a yogurt addict. I could eat yogurt every day (and most of the time it was the only thing that I ate though...). I tried all the types of yogurt in the stores. I loved its sourness and creaminess.
Until today.
I must accept that I'm lactose intolerant and despite lactose in yogurt is not as much as milk, it's still there...
Now I'm super bloated. My stomach hurts. I have been spending hours in the toilet, vomiting all the yogurt out. And it is GROSS. I mean it. The taste, the texture, everything :((((
But I can't stop vomiting. The more I vomit, the grossier my mouth feels and the more I want to vomit...
Goodbye yogurt.
One more favorite food becoming fear food...
My list of "edible" things is getting shorter and shorter. Which is nice, I guess. Because sometimes when I don't know what to eat, I will just, not eat anything.

[Help] Headache
/u/mildolconf [5'9" | 134.2 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 7 23:43:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sbirb/headache/

[Help] binge aftercare?
/u/siamesealmeidaa [height:5'6" | CW:102lbs | BMI:16.5| weight lost:35lb | gender:F]
Created: Mon Aug 7 23:08:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sbda3/binge_aftercare/
I ate I'm excess all day today (like every fucking weekend lmfao). I'm so bloated, my stomach is hard and protruding. I feel terrible and I know the gain will be bad. does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do tomorrow and the rest of the week to "recover" from this? any advice is appreciated. πŸ’—

[Discussion] How does daily calorie needs work?
Created: Mon Aug 7 23:02:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sbc4e/how_does_daily_calorie_needs_work/

[Other] I kind of had an epiphany today.
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" β˜€οΈ CW 151 β˜€οΈ -14 β˜€οΈ πŸ‘ tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Mon Aug 7 21:48:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6saz5a/i_kind_of_had_an_epiphany_today/
Half my clothes don't fit anymore. My dresses dont hug my waist, they're loose, my skirts don't hug my ass, they're loose because my belly fat is gone.

I realized that I genuinely like my body now. I don't want to be just skin and bones. But I can't stop. I made myself eat 1400 calories today, 600 under my TDEE but a decent amount, because I know I need to live and I need to be decently healthy.

I want to recover but I'm scared. I hate feeling full. I don't want to gain weight. I want my tiny flat stomach when it's empty not the fat, rotund tummy full of food. Sigh. Idk what to do

[Rant/Rave] I was so excited to actually meet up with a guy tonight for the first time since the sexual assault. I was ready to try to get past it. And of course I got cancelled on.
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" β˜€οΈ CW 151 β˜€οΈ -14 β˜€οΈ πŸ‘ tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Mon Aug 7 21:46:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sayqv/i_was_so_excited_to_actually_meet_up_with_a_guy/
It's been almost a month since I've even gone out with a guy or spent time with one alone. That night was July 15th. I was done with guys done with sex done with all of it. But then a hot guy from work and I made plans for tonight and he ended up cancelling so.. there goes probably my last chance until I go to college. Sigh. Life is disappointing

[Rant/Rave] I hate my ugly face
/u/Biebercel [BMI: 18.8 | GW: Thin]
Created: Mon Aug 7 21:27:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sav6z/i_hate_my_ugly_face/
Whats the point of worrying about calories when i have such a stupid face

anyone else feel like this? i'm just gonna go bake some cookies

[Goal] Dating and weight loss goals...reversed.
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Mon Aug 7 20:38:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6salsc/dating_and_weight_loss_goalsreversed/
I have a date on Friday. The heading is probably weird for this sub. I'm planning to halt the weight loss for a bit. I know it's kind of different than typical stuff posted here but I feel so much support here and feel comfortable sharing.

But I feel more ok with my weight gain over this past week. I think I might try to eat normally and not restrict as much because well, I do better with food when I'm dating.

I love feeling my spine and hips from the back, but normally I am isolated and plan to do the whole dying thing so there is no incentive to stop. But I can't live in illness and have a fulfilling life. I need some damage control. I still like feeling underweight but objectively I think I'm unattractive at this weight.

More than anything in this world, I just want to love and be loved. That's the only thing worth being healthy for...

I know it is just a first date but I am thankful that I am feeling this way. I had a hard weekend, was a bad friend, ate part of my contact lens and ourged at a friend's house while dog sitting. I want my life to be different.

Maybe this date won't go anywhere, but at least it gave me a glimmer of hope outside of dying from this illness. I haven't dated in two years...

[Discussion] Adam ruins weight loss
Created: Mon Aug 7 19:47:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sabpx/adam_ruins_weight_loss/
Adam ruins everything: weight loss. Season 2. Episode 2. Anyone watch this? Thoughts? Feelings? I don't even know what's up right now omg

[Intro] I'm a disaster
/u/spiritanimalryuk [5'2 | CW 130 | HW 150+ | -25 | 22F | GW 115 | UGW 100]
Created: Mon Aug 7 19:30:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sa89s/im_a_disaster/
[Rant and Intro]

Long time lurker; first time poster. Thank you guys for being such a supportive community - you have really helped me as I obsessively read every post and can relate in a way that I can't IRL.

Just wanted to post because I feel like shit and I feel like at the very least someone here can relate. I've struggled with depression and anxiety for a long time but finally seeked help over the last couple months which has been super helpful.

I've struggled with weight and food for a long time. When I get into a depressive episode I usually gain a SHIT ton of weight. This most recent time I stopped weighing myself because I hit 150 and was terrified of the scale. I lost 15+ pounds in a relatively healthy manner... I've lost the last 5 pounds by eating under 600 kcal for the last 2 weeks. But of course that ended in me binging. Eating an entire package of Annie's mac and cheese then half a pack of meatballs along with some vodka then purging the whole lot. Then making popcorn and eating that.

I am trying my best to be "healthy" but it is so difficult. I moved back in with my parents for a little bit to help me get back on my feet and it's difficult because I feel like I constantly self sabotage- they don't know about my food struggles, only My depression and anxiety because I now longer could hide it and needed help. My dad just had a heart attack so they are super supportive of my "healthy" eating and I constantly talk about the new healthy eating I've been doing and they whole heartidly just want me to be healthy. Meanwhile here I am pretending like I'm eating like a normal human and getting healthy but I'm freaking out about the food they make for me because I can't count the calories accurately and trying to not start purging regularly. And I've just told them certain foods make me naseasous and that I'll make my own food....

Well... I guess that's about it for now. Hi everyone!

[Rant/Rave] CSA
/u/SamPlaid [5'4" | 107 | 18.7 |GW:85 | female]
Created: Mon Aug 7 18:54:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sa10e/csa/
Soooo maybe it's a bit of a stereotype (To The Bone even made a sorta joke about it) but I was sexually abused when I was young. Like really young. All of my care providers have said I need to deal with this and some have even thought it is the whole root of my problems. I was wondering if anyone had had similar experiences, and if they have found a way to address it? I'm 22 and I've never been in a serious relationship :/

i'm such a bitch
Created: Mon Aug 7 18:30:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s9w2u/im_such_a_bitch/

[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend accidentally said the wrong thing today
/u/laurdoor [5'7 | 130lbs | 20.4 | -10 | 21F]
Created: Mon Aug 7 18:10:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s9rqf/my_boyfriend_accidentally_said_the_wrong_thing/
First of all, hi, this is actually my first post but I'm a long-time lurker and I know you guys will get this... so I was Skyping my boyfriend after a long day at work and a mess of a dinner with my family. He is always incredibly supportive, sweet, and understanding to me, and I know he didn't mean what he said the way I heard it, but once it was out there I knew immediately it was one of those things that I would hear everytime I look in the mirror for the forseeable future.

Basically, my family had one of those extremely ineffective dinner interventions where they all comment on what/how much I'm eating and that I look skinny (when I'm still agonizingly far from it). You all know the drill...

I told him about it, and that it upset me especially because I'm at a very "healthy" BMI and have been much smaller in the past so I don't know why they would even say that, and he says "Yeah babe, you're not even close to skinny!"

And there's my motivation to start my next fast.

[Discussion] A weird wish
/u/onlysaysNOO [5'3 | CW 93| BMI 16.94 |F]
Created: Mon Aug 7 17:35:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s9kdc/a_weird_wish/
In September I'll be moving in to my residence at college, and I'll have 4 roommates. It's kind of like a little apartment, we each have our own room but share a kitchen and living room and a couple lil bathrooms along our hallway. Seriously, just an apartment.

Anyways, I'm lowkey hoping one of the girls or guys will be like, overweight because last year it was an entire house of skinny /attractive people and I hated myself so so much. I lived with one of my friends and we're not even friends anymore.... But that's a different story.
Anyways I seriously just kinda hope I live with some kinda ickier people? I know that's SO BITCHY to even think

would anyone be interested in starting an ana group chat?
Created: Mon Aug 7 16:53:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s9bbl/would_anyone_be_interested_in_starting_an_ana/

[Rant/Rave] Lol here's my motivation for the next few months
Created: Mon Aug 7 16:31:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s96dl/lol_heres_my_motivation_for_the_next_few_months/
I recently ordered some stuff from H&M, and I got a cute denim miniskirt. I'm usually a zero but it was out of stock so I got a 2, and I was like "Oh it'll be fine whatever"

IT'S ALMOST TOO TIGHT. what the fuck. I can't deal with the thought of me being that big.

Recently I was thinking about doing more "healthy high restriction" so like 900 a day.

heeeeellll nah now

My goal is to make this skirt too loose

[Rant/Rave] Allowed myself to Eat Normallyβ„’ for a month and back to 142/feeling like I'll never be thin
/u/thinismygame [5'6.5" | 141.8 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 7 16:29:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s961o/allowed_myself_to_eat_normally_for_a_month_and/
From 132-142 in about 3 weeks, woohoo good for me πŸ™ƒ

Feeling sooooo discouraged because before this I hadn't binged or gone over my calorie counts for 2 whole months and I just feel like I completely ruined it. I thought I could handle eating normally and trusting when I was full but no, day 2 and I was sneaking off to buy peanut m&ms to eat in the bathroom.

Ugh I feel like I'll never be thin because I clearly don't know how to be normal. I only know how to restrict and binge. Does anyone else feel this way? I am just so freaking upset and can't seem to snap back into restriction mode. Off to go cry :'(

[Rant/Rave] I don't know why I keep buying peanut butter
/u/AnaWahad [174 cm | CW 75 | HW 100kg | GW 54kg | F]
Created: Mon Aug 7 16:09:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s919q/i_dont_know_why_i_keep_buying_peanut_butter/
I KNOW I won't be able to stop after one toast. I KNOW I'll pass by the kitchen several times just to "smell it". I KNOW I won't weigh it before eating it and accidentally eat 500 calories worh of it because it is *that fucking dense*. I KNOW I'll choke on it like a dumbass because I can't eat a regular amount at a time.

And damn you particularly, crunchy peanut butter. Now I don't know how popular it is in the peanut butter fandom, but damn it I love you so much it hurts.

[Rant/Rave] A friend called me skinny!!
/u/carlems [5'1| CW: 106 | GW: 94 | -14]
Created: Mon Aug 7 15:06:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s8lts/a_friend_called_me_skinny/
A friend (who's way skinnier than me) got drunk a few days back at a festival where we were (which I've been mentioning a Lot in my other posts lately woops). She is the type of person who starts being really honest and stating her opinions when drunk, which has led her to problems a few times for hurting someone's feelings and all, but on that day it was a blessing - she started to say things like 'you've lost SO much weight, you're so skinny now' and stuff like that.
And there I was standing, still bloated from a binge, dizzy from not eating all day, but feeling the best I've ever felt. I've been stressing so much about gaining two pounds over summer, but her comment made me feel better I've felt in ages and it gave me new motivation - today is second day in a row under 500 calories, tomorrow will be the third. I feel good. I've missed this feeling. I hope this feeling will last. I hope your days have been good. <3

[Discussion] A positive thread: What little accomplishments have you done that you want to share.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW 145.0 | UGW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 7 15:03:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s8l1t/a_positive_thread_what_little_accomplishments/
Ed-related or not. It's easy to get caught in a rabbit hole of negativity or even plain numbness. We all need reminding that even the littlest accomplishments are still accomplishments.

[Humor] So my student drew this..... I feel so attacked rn
/u/sp_600 [5'7 | 114 lbs | bmi 17.9 | 20yr female]
Created: Mon Aug 7 14:59:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s8k5x/so_my_student_drew_this_i_feel_so_attacked_rn/

[Discussion] Intermittent Fasting and Binge Eating
Created: Mon Aug 7 14:40:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s8fk9/intermittent_fasting_and_binge_eating/
Do you use fasting to combat binge eating ever? If so, what has been your outcome?

[Rant/Rave] "Can I have one?"
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" β˜€οΈ CW 151 β˜€οΈ -14 β˜€οΈ πŸ‘ tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Mon Aug 7 13:44:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s81fx/can_i_have_one/
No, no you can not have one of my gummies. There are 180 calories per package and I have one whole package for ME, not for you. You eating a gummy would mean me recalculating how many gummies are in the entire package minus what you ate and figuring out how many calories that makes.

"Oh they're just nasty protein gummies. Never mind."

[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo. (Sorry for my absence)
Created: Mon Aug 7 13:38:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s7zzn/daily_thinspo_sorry_for_my_absence/

[Help] Why so shaky?
/u/tacehtelle [5"6 | 121 | 19.61 :( | 5 lbs :( | Female]
Created: Mon Aug 7 13:18:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s7v2l/why_so_shaky/
I woke up feeling kinda iffy, felt like I was gonna puke (not the full i'm gonna puke but the I haven't eaten i'm gonna puke) so I drank water and it went away. Then my hands starting shaking a lot and I feel like every thing is shaking and its really weird. I drank some coffee to try and calm down (Its always made me relax oddly enough) and now i've stopped shaking. But why does that happen?

[Rant/Rave] I hate eating in front of fam&friends!!
Created: Mon Aug 7 13:14:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s7u0x/i_hate_eating_in_front_of_famfriends/
Ugh. Currently going to meet my mom and brother at a taco place and. I. Can't. Stop. My. Anxiety. I don't know what I'm going to do, I feel like I'm going hyperventilate any moment now.

Also I told my husband and brother in law that i just haven't been that hungry these days and now they won't stop pestering me to eat!!! I just want to cry and lock myself away. I can't tho cause I have to adult right now :(

[Other] Chew and spit, I didn't miss you and other reflections
Created: Mon Aug 7 12:12:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s7eoh/chew_and_spit_i_didnt_miss_you_and_other/
I have finally been back on my meds long enough to even out which means I haven't been isolating which means meals with other humans. Chew and spit is now necessary again and is making me feel so wasteful and gross.

All that time isolated spoiled me in certain ways.

A few other fun items:
I have two burns on my knuckles from being a fatass about garlic bread that was still in the oven at a friend's dinner party. Last week she caught me filling up my water bottle with liquor in her kitchen but that's so preferable to her having seen me burn my fingers (twice) to get at some garlic bread.

Also, someone left 5 cupcakes here yesterday. I live alone. "The devil is liar!" is what I'm telling myself to keep away from those bad boys.

[Other] Way to relatable
/u/Zaomi [172 cm | BMI: 19.80 | GW: 55kg | HW: 67 kg | 21F |]
Created: Mon Aug 7 11:39:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s761f/way_to_relatable/

[Discussion] Am I the only one who uses anime/video game girls as inspiration?
/u/Trinkets-Baubles [5'3 | 155 | 28.22 | 15 | F | UGW 110]
Created: Mon Aug 7 11:18:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s70to/am_i_the_only_one_who_uses_animevideo_game_girls/
They're usually unobtainable proportions, but *always* look so thin, curvy, and petite. Like, recently Cindy from the new FF is *so* cute! Shes thin, in good shape fitness wise, and I reckon she's quick as a whip! There's lots of cosplay of her, so the weight is obtainable, and looks really good! I guess it should read more as "cosplay for thinspo" but... well, whatever.

So, dae?

>on mobile cant flare babes, discussion me
Curse the desktop site for bringing me *back to mobile*, because I forgot my app was there.πŸ™ƒ

[Tip] Weight loss prizes
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1.5" | cw 159 | gw 145 | -11]
Created: Mon Aug 7 11:14:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s6zmj/weight_loss_prizes/
So I have never tried this before. I've always been hesitant to set goals at all because I feel like I'm setting myself up for failure (I have some self esteem issues clearly). But I'm doing it this time around and it's really helpful!

So I've decided when I lose my first 20 lb, I'm going to my favorite restaurant to eat whatever I want and get drunk. And so now whenever I think of binging, or drinking, I am reminded that I'm putting off my favorite restaurant for chips or whatever. Whenever I think of drinking I am reminded how it always leads to binging either that night, or the next day when I'm hungover, and it's just putting off the drunken night that I will *deserve* soon enough.

I used to just go as hard as I could with no end goal in sight. It used to work for me but recently when I've tried it I've burnt out fast. Having this goal in mind, and a prize that will be well-earned is making it all so much easier.

Just wanted to share with you all because I am restricting relatively easily for the first time in months and it feels so good to not feel like I'm constantly failing anymore

[Discussion] Does anyone else lose weight from using Bronkaid, but doesn't get the appetite suppressant effects?
Created: Mon Aug 7 10:50:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s6tjs/does_anyone_else_lose_weight_from_using_bronkaid/

[Rant/Rave] I hoard cucumbers as if they are sacred objects.
Created: Mon Aug 7 10:35:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s6pzx/i_hoard_cucumbers_as_if_they_are_sacred_objects/
I almost never end up eating them. I love cucumber, but once I have one in my possession I keep it safe until it spoils and then sadly throw it in the trash without eating it. Every time I think about eating it I decide that no, it must be saved for a special occasion. They cost 50 fucking cents. Why do I do this.

[Discussion] ED support group nerves
/u/JackSkeletal [5'7" | Male]
Created: Mon Aug 7 09:37:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s6azo/ed_support_group_nerves/
Please tag either rant or discussion, mods, at your discretion.

Found a support group for tonight.

Sort of considering going.

I absolutely don't look like the traditional image of an ED sufferer--I'm not remotely underweight--and I don't really want to be surrounded by a bunch of skinny, successful people. I'd feel like a faker.

Anyone know what support groups are usually like?

[Discussion] Question about your best low
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 118 | 20.83 | UGW: 102lbs]
Created: Mon Aug 7 09:35:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s6akg/question_about_your_best_low/
Sort of misleading. When I say "low" I mean your best lowest weight, and how you got there.

Most of us have a cycle we go through and I was wondering about what made you feel the best. Were you especially active? Did you try going vegetarian/vegan? Clean eating? Stretching? Fasting?

Looking back on your ED history, which road did you go down once upon a time (or even hopefully now) that you felt great about, where you were losing weight AND feeling content (or at least closest to it).

I Let the binge win :(
/u/DirtyxVans [5'5 | CW 151 | GW110 | TF]
Created: Mon Aug 7 09:30:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s69fw/i_let_the_binge_win/

[Help] When should I take my EC stack before working out so it's most effective?
/u/cry1000x [5'5" | 131 lbs | 22 BMI | F | Vegan 🌿 ]
Created: Mon Aug 7 09:28:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s68uy/when_should_i_take_my_ec_stack_before_working_out/

[Rant/Rave] Binge/Restrict Cycle
/u/newtoskate [5'8| CW:128.9lbs | BMI:19.6 | 3rd Relapse: 5lbs | F]
Created: Mon Aug 7 09:05:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s63gx/bingerestrict_cycle/
I have been stuck in a binge restrict cycle since March :(
This week from Tuesday- Sunday I ate between 975 - 1400 calories (High Restriction) and was feeling great and then today 3000+ calories, my whole weeks work ruined, this has been going on for so long I am sick of this shit.

[Other] I know it's just an ad for a show, and I know it's just me being overly-sensitive, but I really hate seeing this all over my FB >:(
/u/humandumpsterfire [5'8" | 140 | 22.7 | -40 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 7 09:04:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s638i/i_know_its_just_an_ad_for_a_show_and_i_know_its/

[Discussion] There are people starving within walking distance from where I'm staying
/u/cinnamonbicycle [5'2 | Recovering/relapsing | F]
Created: Mon Aug 7 08:42:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s5xww/there_are_people_starving_within_walking_distance/
(Discussion flair please, thank you mods <3)

My family is on vacation in Africa, and we're staying in a tiny mountain village at the moment. This morning, we went walking and saw a starving man going through somebody's trash looking for food. It just makes me so sad that I waste all this perfectly good nutritious food, and there are people who couldn't eat it if they wanted to.

I wish there were a way for me to take all my discarded food to people who are in need of it. I should probably feel guilty about the food I waste, but I really don't. My oatmeal this morning wouldn't have gone to feed the hungry; whether I made it & threw it away, or left it in the packet. It's just ironic to me that these two radically different sets of problems can exist at the same time, starvation on both sides but for totally different reasons.

[Humor] One Time Use Only!
/u/RichardStarrkey [6'0 | CW:62kg | 19 | GW:53kg | M]
Created: Mon Aug 7 08:34:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s5w4x/one_time_use_only/
Ate a bit of rice this morning while a friend had something else.

I saw the food coming out of the microwave. It looked terrible anyway, tasted like nothing.

Friend took a look at my food, said it was the worst thing he'd ever seen.

10 minutes later. I feel terrible for wasting calories on crap like this, I gotta purge, man.

So I tell him the food's bad, it's making me sick and I gotta go throw up.

"Food poisoning? Yeah man it happens."

Eheheheh. Can't use that line again though.

[Other] Small Freakout/Progress (?)
Created: Mon Aug 7 08:17:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s5skh/small_freakoutprogress/

[Other] I am SO. FUCKING. SICK. of receiving creepy messages from guys. Do I really need to have a separate account to post on other subs?? This is getting out of hand!!!
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" β˜€οΈ CW 151 β˜€οΈ -14 β˜€οΈ πŸ‘ tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Mon Aug 7 08:15:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s5s0l/i_am_so_fucking_sick_of_receiving_creepy_messages/
I fucking hate getting these messages that are like "would it help if I said you're hot, would that make you feel better?" Or "well you're not tiny but you're not big either if that helps" like GEE THANK YOU, YOU CALLING ME HOT JUST CURED MY FUCKING EATING DISORDER 1000% BUDDY!!!! LIKE NO, FUCK OFF. I have a tinder I hear I'm hot every goddamn DAY I don't give a FUCK what you think of me and me knowing I'm attractive doesn't do shit for my fucking ED

[Rant/Rave] Weird jealousy/what is wrong with me
/u/like_a_living_thing [5'4" | 117 | F | πŸ‘½]
Created: Mon Aug 7 08:13:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s5rqh/weird_jealousywhat_is_wrong_with_me/
TL;DR: I have issues being around other people

Okay so, this morning one of my housemates was eating one of those silk non-dairy yogurt things, which I LOVE because they are low calorie, tasty, and vegan. She's not a vegan so my mind immediately jumped to thinking she was eating it because it's low calorie. She lost a bit of weight recently, was never really overweight but looks AMAZING, so of course my fucking ed makes me competitive about it. My boyfriend says she's not even close to my size but to me it seems like she's way thinner so body dysmorphia and fucking jealous competing with my best friends is the fucking worst, but I digress. Back to the yogurt. I got so mad that she was eating something low calorie for breakfast and worried that she was gonna get thinner than me, but here's the kicker-- I had shirataki noodles for breakfast. That's right, I ate 30 calories and she ate 180 calories and I was PISSED because it felt like she ate LESS. And I love this girl to fucking death, I hate that my disorder does this to me.

And while I'm ranting about housemates, I've got one from my obese housemate too(I've posted about her before). Yesterday she posted this picture of her journal on facebook and instagram that included, clearly readable, 2 days of her food log in which she has spaces set aside for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and 2 snacks. She had super clearly marked lunch blank, like blatantly obviously "LOOK I SKIPPED A MEAL," but both of her snacks both days were literally bigger meals than the others. Seriously, for one day she "skipped" lunch, her "snack" was a large basket of fries(I was with her), a milkshake, and potato chips. Like, she just wants people to think she is skipping meals and give her attention, without actually eating less? Maybe I take issue with this because I want so badly to hide my eating habits and make sure no one is worried, so I can lose more. I dunno, does this seem unreasonable for me to get worked up about? She's so triggering and I feel like it clouds my judgement. She is also one of my best friends and I hate feeling this way.

[Rant/Rave] Gained 10 pounds in one week...
Created: Mon Aug 7 07:45:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s5lr7/gained_10_pounds_in_one_week/
Hi, I'm a (mostly) lurker who has decided to take this weight loss thing seriously. I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, since I am definitely heavier than most people in this sub. Warning: this is going to be long, so skip to the bottom for the tl;dr if you want.

I was diagnosed with EDNOS when I was a kid (11 years old) and battled with it until age 18. I was in and out of inpatient programs through high school and in college I finally decided to recover. Well, that went the opposite way and I am now 15-20 pounds overweight per BMI guidelines. I lost a few pounds a couple weeks ago due to sickness. I'm usually on ADHD meds 24/7 which mostly curbs my appetite. However, I've been struggling to pick up the prescription and haven't been taking it in like a week and a half. In that time, I've gone full binge and gained 10 fucking pounds!!!

I am picking up the prescription today and I'm going to fix this and hopefully lose the rest of the weight I've put on since recovery. Has anyone else ever gained a lot of weight after a long binge-fest. How long did it take you to lose it? Right now, I'm taking diuretics and laxatives and drinking a lot of water to see how much of this is water weight (since I ate a lot of salty foods and I'm on my period this week). I'm so frustrated!!! It doesn't help that I live with my SO and 7 other people so I can't just stop eating or someone will notice

Tl;dr gained a zillion pounds in a week and a half, time to get serious about actually losing weight, numbers cause more anxiety than they should...arghh

Edit: How do people do that thing where they have their stats under their name? Can you do that on mobile:

Weekend trip is over, and my stomach, body and mind hate me.
Created: Mon Aug 7 07:40:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s5krm/weekend_trip_is_over_and_my_stomach_body_and_mind/

[Rant/Rave] Breakfast :(
Created: Mon Aug 7 07:29:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s5il1/breakfast/
I was planning to eat breakfast today because I have a long day ahead of me and I'm fucking hungry and I want to eat something. My friend was supposed to meet me at Starbucks for breakfast and she just texted me and said "we're only getting coffee right? I'm doing no carbs before noon." I feel so fat and ugly for even wanting to eat something... she's way skinnier than me and if one of us should be eating it's her. Guess it's just coffee for my fat ass today πŸ™ƒ

[Discussion] August 7th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 7 06:22:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s5620/august_7th_2017_question_of_the_day/
What was your last great meal?

(Ok I swear I'm not making these up. As someone with severe restriction as well as bingeing tendencies, I'm having a hard time coming up with a recentish meal that I truly enjoyed, and didn't end up regretting or purging. Maybe a meal with a loved one? Or maybe some food that was exceptionally delicious? I'll think on it, hope you guys can get something out of it too. ❀️)

[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! August 07, 2017
Created: Mon Aug 7 06:14:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s54ms/weekly_stats_update_august_07_2017/
This is the weekly status thread for August 07, 2017.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:


Status threads are posted every Monday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 07, 2017
Created: Mon Aug 7 06:14:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s54lw/daily_food_diary_august_07_2017/
This is a daily food diary thread for August 07, 2017.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)

[Thinspo] Thinspiration 8.07
Created: Mon Aug 7 06:11:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s540j/thinspiration_807/

[Rant/Rave] My biggest insecurities
/u/Ms_Rainbow [5'8"/173cm | CW: 55.5kg | BMI (new): 18.3 | 21F]
Created: Mon Aug 7 06:01:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s52dx/my_biggest_insecurities/
Here they are, the things I hate about myself:

1. my face / skin
2. upper arms
3. "hip dip"
4. stomach
5. teeth *edit: added this

The number one reason I was suicidal in my teens was my face. You know why? Acne. Lots of it. I had zero confidence and I was 100% sure I would end up alone. I hated looking in the mirror. I was thin at the time but I couldn't enjoy that while feeling like a monster among all the pretty girls at school. If I had to pick between being fat and having bad acne again, I would probably pick being fat. It was *that* bad. At least my weight is something I can control... and I think that's why my body became my other fixation. I always thought I would be perfectly happy once I was thin with good skin. And maybe I would be happy if I wasn't mentally ill, since my skin is a lot better now and I'm almost underweight. But I'm not, most likely because I was deeply unhappy through my teen years for many reasons and that didn't give a very good base for my adult life.

I guess my point is that when you're insecure or have low self-esteem, you will always find something wrong with you. It's not about fixing that one thing, it's about getting to the bottom of why it makes you unhappy.

Literally just rambling now but thanks for letting me vent <3

Edit: fixed some mistakes because I'm a dumb non-native English speaker, and added another insecurity

[Other] My boyfriend picked me up without struggling.
Created: Mon Aug 7 05:51:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s50ok/my_boyfriend_picked_me_up_without_struggling/

[Other] Life with bulimia: grocery shopping edition
Created: Mon Aug 7 05:50:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s50kr/life_with_bulimia_grocery_shopping_edition/

[Discussion] DAE ever feel the need to destroy themselves with their ED?
/u/Activated_Raviolis [5'3| 145 | 25.7 | HW: too much | UGW 100]
Created: Mon Aug 7 05:45:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s4zo7/dae_ever_feel_the_need_to_destroy_themselves_with/
I don't mean feeling the need to die from it per se, but I feel like this ED is a reflection of how badly I want to metaphorically tear myself apart.

Like, I want people to know how much I'm suffering. I want there to be a visual representation of how I've felt for years. Of course there are so many other reasons why I want to be thin/lose weight: to be seen as pretty, to fit into nice clothes, to feel better about myself, for control, etc. But I feel this one so strongly. I want the people I love to finally give a shit about me and I want the people that have hurt me to know what they've done to me. I want for people to see it and just know. It's such an evil thought and I hate it. It's irrational and disgusting but I can't help but feel this way.

Almost no one knows about my disorder and about the fact that it's all I think about anymore, but when it finally comes to I'm going to be so scared. Am I the only person who feels this way?

[Discussion] What are your lives like?
Created: Mon Aug 7 05:29:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s4x5s/what_are_your_lives_like/

Start restricting again?
Created: Mon Aug 7 05:10:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s4uf2/start_restricting_again/

[Help] 50 days to achieve a semblance of perfection...
Created: Mon Aug 7 04:42:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s4qlc/50_days_to_achieve_a_semblance_of_perfection/

So, I work in retail now..
/u/RainyDayDaydream [5'7 | GW: Air | Lady]
Created: Mon Aug 7 04:21:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s4nt0/so_i_work_in_retail_now/

[Tip] Have a sweet craving? Freeze your gummies!
/u/haveanicedaytoo [5'7 | 122 (-5) | 19.09 | GW: 118 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 7 03:20:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s4fyx/have_a_sweet_craving_freeze_your_gummies/
Hi guys! I just wanted to share something with you that I discovered yesterday. I tend to eat my gummi bears/worms/whatever one or two at a time so it will usually take me 1-2 weeks to finish a small package. I put one in my mouth and suck on it as long as I can until my chewing instincts can't take it anymore. So to prolong the chewing instinct and to be able to enjoy the gummi longer I tried freezing them! (In this heat, it was so worth it too!)

I did it with the vitamin gummi bears so technically this is "healthy" LOL

I hope this helps someone. I'll be experimenting with freezing other foods next!

[Thinspo] Alberta Berlin, my new favourite thinspo
/u/OneCanNeverBeTooThin [F | 5'5" | HW: 216 | CW: 120 | GW: 100]
Created: Mon Aug 7 03:03:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s4ds2/alberta_berlin_my_new_favourite_thinspo/

Into (or sorts)
Created: Mon Aug 7 02:58:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s4d2w/into_or_sorts/

[Discussion] my epiphany on binging
/u/foxmilk [5'3 | 138 | 24.2 | f]
Created: Mon Aug 7 02:53:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s4cj3/my_epiphany_on_binging/
hey all. i know this title refers to binging, but i truly think this advice could be directed towards purging or any other bad habits you want to kick. *firstly*, it's important to understand humans like habits and routines. you didn't start binging overnight, it was a lifetime of unhealthy behaviors that led to you doing what you are doing today. **it's important to realize that every time you say no to a binge or purge cycle, you strengthen that pathway in your brain to overcome your addiction. every time you give into a binge cycle, you only strengthen your addiction.** seriously. they say it takes around a month to form a new habit. you may think, i've already ruined my day/week/month by binging. just say NO next time.
i myself have had huge problems with constantly binging and feeling literally addicted to food. i realized in bed tonight that i wanted to make a greasy daiya grilled cheese, but acknowledged the craving and moved past it. why? because all of july, i worked on not giving power to those impulses to binge. i drank water. i read. i rode my bike. i did my homework. value yourself. strengthen those pathways and do better next time. i love you guys.

[Discussion] This book is amazing πŸ’• Has anyone else read it?
Created: Mon Aug 7 02:30:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s49qz/this_book_is_amazing_has_anyone_else_read_it/

[Rant/Rave] It's been a while but for anyone who cares I am still here.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Mon Aug 7 01:58:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s45kj/its_been_a_while_but_for_anyone_who_cares_i_am/
On mobile flair as rant or rave.

I had a few bad binge days and also spent a lot of time at the gym. I am fasting again and don't know how to break it. I binge bad for 4 days straight and ate 2500 calories every day but worked off the binges partly at the gym. I have done two hours every day for the past week or so and feel compelled to burn as many calories as I can. I just feel obsessed with working out again.

I have also been a lonely anxious wreck. I feel guilty eating and I was guilt tripped about leaving a mess post binge and so now i feel more guilty about even making food for myself.

So that's the shitshow that my life has been lately.


[Discussion] I can't stop watching Mukbangs on Youtube...anyone else?
Created: Mon Aug 7 01:09:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s3z5x/i_cant_stop_watching_mukbangs_on_youtubeanyone/
Geez I can spend countless hours of my free time watching mukbangs on youtube. So many emotions/feelings come over me with each mini episode I watch. Bewilderment, jealousy, excitement, disgust, sometimes mouth-watering, and also makes me feel a bit better in relation to control. It sure is a roller coaster. Any opinions? Thoughts? Or maybe I'm just crazy...

[Discussion] Anyone else have a bf with a petite preference?
Created: Sun Aug 6 22:43:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s3e4d/anyone_else_have_a_bf_with_a_petite_preference/
It really makes "fasting" and "restricting" (aka starving) a lot easier. He doesn't want to see me ill, but definitely prefers me tiny. I don't mind it ha.

I stopped a fucking bingeπŸ’–
Created: Sun Aug 6 21:57:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s35x6/i_stopped_a_fucking_binge/

[Discussion] ED and tattoos
/u/aetolica [5'4" | F | 31]
Created: Sun Aug 6 21:48:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s34ei/ed_and_tattoos/
Anyone here have tattoos? Has your ED ever had an impact on them (weight loss/gain, maybe)?

I've been putting off getting tattoos for...years...because my immune system has been shit and it everything takes forever to heal, and normally gets infected to boot -- like my helix piercings.

Any experiences to share? I thought I'd wait til I was recovered. But I don't want to wait forever!

[Rant/Rave] Literally none of my clothes fit anymore.
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 21:33:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s31td/literally_none_of_my_clothes_fit_anymore/
Like the title says, I got sick of wearing shorts that were falling off me, so I went through and tried on *everything* I own. Absolutely nothing fits, and almost everything is so big that it falls off when I put it on. I obviously need to buy new clothes, but (1) help me, I'm poor; and (2) I can't convince myself to buy anything because I know it'll be too big in a few weeks or months.

I have no idea what to do until I hit my UGW besides just wear the same huge t-shirt/flannel/pair of leggings every single day.

[Thinspo] Someone told me I should post this as leg thinspo (me)
/u/Fuzzypanda67 [5'8" | 142 | 20.97 | 0 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 20:53:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s2ujd/someone_told_me_i_should_post_this_as_leg_thinspo/

[Rant/Rave] I am SO uncomfortable posting this right now
/u/SnowLeopardSnuggles [5'1" | 28F | 124.2lbs | 24.51 | -16.6lbs]
Created: Sun Aug 6 20:39:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s2rw4/i_am_so_uncomfortable_posting_this_right_now/
I feel like a total mess. I ate like shit this weekend. I fasted all day Friday because it was date night and I had no idea what I'd be eating. I ate an inordinate amount of albeit mostly "healthy" food that night (salmon, veggies and the like,) but it was more food than I'd eaten in one sitting for a while and my stomach was so upset. I fasted the majority of the next day too, but went crazy at dinner with my family. I gained 4 lbs in TWO DAYS. I am sure it's all water weight and will come right off, but COME ON! Why is it so hard to just not be such a fat piece of shit?

I tried to fast today. And for me, fasting means no food, but coffee with a little almond milk and/or diet soda. I guess you'd call that restricting, rather than fasting? Either way I did fine today, wasn't even hungry until tonight. The bf and I had a fight and I am such an emotional eater ... I've had a leftover homemade cupcake, a 90 calorie pack of deli turkey, and an ounce of cheese. It only comes out to around 550 calories or so, but I still feel like such a fatass. I just want to feel empty and small and be a tiny thing but have no one notice or comment on it. The second I walked into my parents' house last night, they immediately commented on my weight and told me I was getting "too skinny." Y'all see my flair, you know I am nowhere NEAR too skinny. I just wanted to put on a burlap sack and hide. Please don't comment on my body and I promise not to comment on the weight you've put on.

I'm sorry, I'm ranting. I'm just a jumbled mess of emotion and I don't know where else to put all these stressful thoughts. I really adore the folks in this subreddit, y'all are amazing and supportive and I have yet to see a more cohesive, kind sub.

Thanks for reading.

[Discussion] Morbid question: DAE think about what would happen if you were to spontaneously die?
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Sun Aug 6 20:33:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s2qq8/morbid_question_dae_think_about_what_would_happen/
Sometimes I feel like I need to get my life together. Clean the vomit bags from my car. Clean the wrappers out from my work desk. Organize my will and paperwork.

Every once in a while, I just feel like shit (more than usual) after purging. And as I am lying down with my heart racing, I think, "Damn it, throwawaytodayokc, you need to prepared so you don't die embarrassed. Nobody wants to find your vomit bags. Or at least clean stuff up to free up an extra step to have courage to die by suicide".

I am just feeling so exhausted. I'm so tired.

[Rant/Rave] Ran into one of my sorority sisters today
/u/fullstackedd [5'6" | 20F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 20:25:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s2pcc/ran_into_one_of_my_sorority_sisters_today/
and she just came out of some workout class and told me about this juice fast cleanse thing and hasn't eaten solid food since school ended because she wants to lose weight before recruitment. This girl is like a size 2 and me and her are like the only Asian girls in the sorority and I'm anxious about the new girls rushing and talking about her as the "hotter, tiny Asian".

I've been in recovery since July and I was just starting to feel ok about food and started eating actual meals but now I can feel the anxiety coming back again hhahahah great :-)

[Discussion] [discussion] best eating disorder books and movies??
/u/lowkeydeadinside [5'6" | cw: 129 | ugw: 98 | 17F | πŸ‘: starvingprincess]
Created: Sun Aug 6 20:21:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s2olu/discussion_best_eating_disorder_books_and_movies/
i'm looking for books to read and i love ed books. i also would really like some ed movies to watch. please share your discussions and feel free to share opinions about other comments :)

[Rant/Rave] Food is a punishment
/u/ballerinainpain [5'5" | 120 | 19.45 | GW: 75]
Created: Sun Aug 6 20:01:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s2kvj/food_is_a_punishment/
I've binged all the way back up from my lowest weight. It's not even because I am hungry or genuinely enjoy any of the food. TBH, everything tastes disgusting to me. But I keep eating, and eating, and EATING because I want to punish myself for being a fat fucking failure at everything. Does anyone ever feel like eating is a punishment? I don't need advice, I just need somewhere to vent.

[Other] fuck, man
Created: Sun Aug 6 19:48:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s2ih4/fuck_man/
about a year ago, i discovered a greek reporter who was anorexic on reddit. someone linked to her instagram in the comments and i would check up on her occasionally to see how she was doing. [i just learned she died recently](http://greece.greekreporter.com/2017/06/27/well-known-greek-journalist-and-presenter-dies-of-anorexia/)

sorry for the depressing post, and sorry if it isn't welcomed. her death isn't personal to me, but she had made a lot of progress from older photos i'd seen of her. i thought she was on her way to full recovery and was looking forward to watching her get better :/

[Discussion] ~secrets~
/u/krebsunicycle [5'7" | 114 lbs | 17.79 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 19:47:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s2ia8/secrets/
DAE feel sketchy af trying to hide the evidence of their ED? Pretty sure my boyfriend thinks I'm crazy because I never want him to open my laptop before me. I'm always afraid I'll have MFP or r/Proed open (even though it never actually is). Same sometimes with looking at my phone or notebooks. I've explained it off as googling embarrassing medical conditions in the past. I already feel super weird having people over and having them wonder why my the contents of my fridge consist of one zucchini and almond milk.

Part of me is afraid he'll think it's funny because I don't look like someone who has an eating disorder. I just don't want him to know either way. He probably thinks I have some secret internet lover the way I jump for my laptop.

[Help] How to increase thigh gap?
Created: Sun Aug 6 19:37:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s2ge6/how_to_increase_thigh_gap/

[Discussion] When I feel stressed/depressed, my appetite totally goes (which is great for me TBH) but my bf is freaking out.
Created: Sun Aug 6 19:29:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s2ewp/when_i_feel_stresseddepressed_my_appetite_totally/
I usually hide my ED and self loathing from him pretty well under the guise of eating healthily.

The last three days I haven't really eaten and he's freaking out. It's day four today and I'm very content with not eating whilst I have no desire to. It's so easy to not eat when you aren't hungry and it's great for my weight loss. I've lots 2kgs already (4.4lbs).

Idk what to do. Yesterday he was yelling at me "you not eating is killing me!" ... He cares a lot and it's sweet, but this weight loss is really easy and great for me. I don't have to suffer for it like I usually do when I have to fight against the appetite.

How to I make him happy without eating?
I'm thinking of sending him food pics while he's at work but not eating it? :/

[Help] Are my goals just unrealistic or do I majorly suck?
Created: Sun Aug 6 19:09:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s2b4i/are_my_goals_just_unrealistic_or_do_i_majorly_suck/

[Rant/Rave] An intense need to purge has arisen and it terrifies me a bit
Created: Sun Aug 6 19:07:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s2aqd/an_intense_need_to_purge_has_arisen_and_it/
(On mobile, please flair as rant)

First post, but I'm a huge lurker! Lol

So to kick this off, there's a little semi-important background: In June, I lost a baby. It was essentially complications of being overweight and PCOS and hormones and yuck.

But anyways, the point is that I've watched my disordered eating morph before my eyes this last month. I used to just feed my disgustingly fat self constantly. Now, I fast and restrict mostly on purpose and have small binges when my body realizes how hungry it is after a day or two (1200 cal compared to an old school binge of 3000+). After each of these smaller binges, my stomach hurts so bad and I just want to go purge it all in the bathroom.

I've never been a purger and I know how harmful and addictive it can be. I don't want to start, but the urge is so powerful. I don't know what to do, so I'm posting here because I feel like you lovelies are the only ones who might understand. ❀️

[Rant/Rave] Just venting, I hate my body, i feel too "strong", I want to shrink to nothing....
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Sun Aug 6 18:50:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s27lo/just_venting_i_hate_my_body_i_feel_too_strong_i/
I am constantly measuring my body with my hands to see how small parts are getting OR if they get bigger post binges. This is usually my daily go to, I do weigh ins every other week.

I have been getting so frustrated because no matter what, my arms stay the same. There is about a half inch to go before I can wrap my hand for soooo long now that it's driving me insane. Today I started violently pulling my skin up and squishing it together in tears , I then noticed that I think it's my muscle that won't allow it. I feel completely crazy and just want to cut it off my body.

People are always surprised by how much I can lift ( I'm talking groceries, boxes, etc.) compared to people bigger than me and it always makes me feel manly. I've always been strong before my ED and it goes back to a class trip where a boy was helping other girls with their bags. I asked if he could grab mine and he was like no your big enough.....like wtf.

I hate that I use my arms so much at my professions and how much muscle it's adding. I try to act proud of it but now I feel gross and just want it to go away!!!!!! I want to be dainty.

This is so stupid, I just needed to get it out, I'm sorry....I'm just losing my mind and keep replaying being big or thought of as too tall when I was younger. 5ft 10in in 6th grade! I hate my life soooo much I just want to be tiny...

I feel horrible and disgusted with myself that I even care about this. What is wrong with me

Not-my-mother-in-law made pig noises at me during family dinner.
Created: Sun Aug 6 18:24:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s22lz/notmymotherinlaw_made_pig_noises_at_me_during/

[Discussion] How bad do you have to be to go to hospital or put in a program?
/u/PrincessMelancholia [4'11 | CW:85lbs | GW:77lbs |UGW:66lbs]
Created: Sun Aug 6 18:07:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s1z6f/how_bad_do_you_have_to_be_to_go_to_hospital_or/
Is there a certain BMI that you have to reach, or certain behaviours that will let you qualify for an ED program?

[Rant/Rave] Diet's going great, ladies!
Created: Sun Aug 6 18:02:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s1y76/diets_going_great_ladies/

[Rant/Rave] I could binge... [rant]
/u/uiume [5'4" | CW:122.8 | 21.72 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 17:55:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s1wrk/i_could_binge_rant/
I could. There is a lot of deliciously unhealthy vegan junk food in my house right now and really I'd have no lasting consequences if I decided to eat whatever I want at this very moment.
I could binge...on HΓ€agen-Dazs ice cream that would be sickeningly sweet in the best way, with mounds of peanut butter and chocolate swirls; on Gardein chicken sandwiches that admittedly aren't fantastic but remind me of my childhood and that is something I feel I can only remember through food; on birthday cake Teddy Grahams that taste just like mini sugar cookies that I could eat an entire box of; on hummus and carrots and wheat thins and it wouldn't be too bad because those are healthy foods, right? It's just one binge, right?
I could binge...but if I did that would bring temporary pleasure (and God eating without restraint can be glorious) followed quickly by disappointment. Shame. Disgust. Physical and mental discomfort. I could eat a pint of ice cream and sandwiches and more sugar and carbs because it can be so easy to give into the unhealthy unnecessary things that I have eaten for years without a care in the world but things are different now and I cannot respect myself if I allow something so simple such as food to control me. I do not and will not respect the me that runs out of the kitchen and up the stairs as quick as possible so as to avoid running into a family member that surely would likewise find that amount of food baffling.
I am always thinking of food and thinking about my weight and my measurements with a cruel mixture of anticipation, excitement, dread, and sadness. I am able to control myself with eating meals that do not go above my set amount of calories. And I see the success in this, I see how easy it is for me to exist in a happier state of mind just by eating less and weighing less each and every morning. I am obsessed, yes, but I would prefer to be obsessed over calories and weight any day than food in the most gluttonous way possible.
I could binge...and this is very much so guaranteed eventually in my life as admittedly I only have so much self control over something I have been addicted to and fixated on for my entire life. But if I binge tonight I am giving into the thing that I love to hate and hate to love the most. And God forbid if that happens, because the amount of shame I will feel will be far greater than any feelings of simple pleasure that could never rival the euphoria that comes with loose clothing and a smaller waist. I am more than food. I have to be.

[Rant/Rave] "The whole family is going to write down what they eat every day in this giant whiteboard."
Created: Sun Aug 6 17:16:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s1pgf/the_whole_family_is_going_to_write_down_what_they/

[Rant/Rave] That perfect purge..
/u/Chromalust [6'1 | CW: 133lbs | GW: Less | mtF]
Created: Sun Aug 6 17:09:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s1o75/that_perfect_purge/

[Discussion] At what bmi did you start to see side effects of being too thin?
/u/sp_600 [5'7 | 114 lbs | bmi 17.9 | 20yr female]
Created: Sun Aug 6 16:07:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s1bo7/at_what_bmi_did_you_start_to_see_side_effects_of/
My feet, my fingers, even my nose... they are all ice cold and its august. I didn't think i was underweight enough for this....

[Rant/Rave] I actually feel disgusting after I eat but my mom doesnt understand
Created: Sun Aug 6 15:32:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s147w/i_actually_feel_disgusting_after_i_eat_but_my_mom/
She knows ive been on a "diet" but its hard when she's telling me to eat things that I dont want to eat anymore. Usually the things she makes for dinner are unhealthy or I don't have a way to count the calories and I really want to avoid eating it. But she gets mad and calls me ungrateful for not eating or she gets mad when I choose to eat something I can count the cals on because "its wasting". I can't eat those things without actually feeling disgusting. I feel like an actual whale and greasy and hideous. But when I eat what I can control I feel much better and less guilty about eating at all. Jeez. Its so frustrating.

[Other] post-binge water weight
/u/archerofdawn [154cm | SW 164 | CW 136 | GW 88 | -28 | NB]
Created: Sun Aug 6 14:16:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s0njj/postbinge_water_weight/
tl;dr: I just want to reassure anyone panicking over post-binge weight gain that often, a large part of it is water weight and it is Most Definitely Temporary (self-soothing and self-reassurance is important)

so I ate really terribly the month of July (three birthdays, visiting relatives, four different friends sent me boxes of sweets, etc.). My average caloric intake for the month was 2k/day. When I weighed myself at the beginning of August I'd gained 10lbs.

Except today, four days later, I'm down 6lbs. I'm still not back into the '''right''' restricting mindset, so I definitely didn't restrict enough to permanently lose 6lbs. Which means that those 6lbs were not permanent weight gain, either.

idk I don't think this really makes a lot of sense, but I know a lot of us panic after eating (relatively or objectively) a lot and seeing the numbers jump on the scale, and it's hard to remember it's temporary when panic makes you forget all the times that the water weight did go away. And there probably won't be true relief until the water weight and food weight goes away.

But when you see the number jump, remember, a lot of it is water weight. Think about all the times that the scale jumped and then dropped back down. Even if you did eat terribly, even if you did eat enough calories to gain several pounds, I promise that the number you see on the scale is not literally the amount you gained permanently.

[Help] dealing with headaches?
Created: Sun Aug 6 14:13:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s0n1t/dealing_with_headaches/
so i always feel physically fine when restricting EXCEPT FOR HEADACHES. they're all-over throbbing/pounding dull headaches and i hate them. how can i deal without eating?? can vitamins/medicine help??

[Help] My Girlfriend Dependence On Me Worries Me
Created: Sun Aug 6 13:55:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s0j1c/my_girlfriend_dependence_on_me_worries_me/
Okay, so I didn't know where to put this, but I'm just hoping someone can help me figure this out.

Let me add some background. I met my girlfriend early last year, and when I did, I fell in love with her personality. After months of knowing each other and working with each other in engineering, we became best friends. She was way out of my league though, and there was no way I was gonna ask her out, besides, I was worried that dating might ruin the friendship I loved so much, and I told myself I'd never ask her out for that reason.

Fast forward a bit in the future, and eventually there came a day when she seemed to be talking down about herself, she was calling herself ugly, fat, etc. That's when I complemented her for the first time and told her I thought she was cute (believe me I wanted to say more but I was incapable of doing so πŸ˜…). She really was happy when I told her that, and I started opening up a little bit more every now and then about how I felt about her. She had a lot of issues with her self-image, but I always was there to tell her she was completely wrong. Eventually, she asked me out, and at this point, I couldn't say no.

Fast forward another year, and things have been amazing, but at the same time, there were some things that were revealed to me. My girlfriend was Anorexic, which didn't come to much of a surprise, but after a while it began to affect me too, though I'm not gonna go I to that for the sake of staying on topic. It sucked.

I tried really hard though to make my girlfriend's condition better, I tried so darn hard. And it worked. Everyday she stared a little less at calorie labels, and ate a little more than 500-600 calories, eventually finally eating 3 meals a day. It was small steps, but in the end became much larger ones. It was nice seeing her happier.

The problem was when I left for a while to some internships. Things got bad. She went straight back to her old habits, and she was crying on a daily basis, constantly in pain. When I came back, things returned to normal, until I left again for a week to an internship, and once again, the same thing happened. I feel useless when I'm gone.

The part that worries me the most however is what will happen when we move on to our own schools, how will she cope with it? I can't always be with her on a daily basis, at least not on the short term. I care about our relationship, but most importantly I care about her and her health. I don't know what to do. I feel like I've become the cure to the problem she's had for so long, but the second I'm gone she relapses. I feel like she's a ticking time bomb, and if I'm not there to cut the wires, things can go "boom". Is the best hope for her to find another "me" when she moves on to another school?

tl;dr: When I'm gone my girlfriend relapses to Anorexia, and I don't know what to do.

[Other] I think my husband not only knows, but approves, of my ED
/u/gettingagrip4 [5'3" | Baby Hippo | 22 | -60 | 31F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 13:53:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s0il5/i_think_my_husband_not_only_knows_but_approves_of/
Occasionally my husband will say things like "if it's going to make you feel better, you should just go throw up" or "I'll give you some privacy if you need some time in the bathroom".

I don't know if I should be grateful or insulted......

[Rant/Rave] "Your daughter looks like she could be a model!! Is she one?"
/u/YukiHase [5'9'' | 123.6 | 18.3 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 13:27:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s0d2a/your_daughter_looks_like_she_could_be_a_model_is/
I was grocery shopping with my mom before and this mother looked at me and said "Your daughter looks like she could be a model! Is she one?" That made me so happy, especially since I've always wished to be one!!! I got a huge confidence boost :)

[Rant/Rave] I was doing well then I fucked it up
/u/lavendersmoke [5'5" | CW 126 | GW 105 | SW 132 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 13:23:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s0c61/i_was_doing_well_then_i_fucked_it_up/
I was doing well on high restriction + tons of water for two weeks until the past two days where I consumed a small pizza, beer and popcorn.
Of course this lined up with the night I'd be going on a Tinder date where I'm going out for drinks and will probably bloat regardless, but I had been doing great until now. Hopefully I can do better tomorrow.

[Rant/Rave] I cannot eat anything unhealthy without it resulting in a huge binge
Created: Sun Aug 6 13:18:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s0b3l/i_cannot_eat_anything_unhealthy_without_it/

[Rant/Rave] And the anon hate just keeps on coming
/u/kristine0711 [158cm | 46.4kg | BMI 18.6 | 17F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 12:47:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s049b/and_the_anon_hate_just_keeps_on_coming/
So I've seen this Sarahah thing becoming fairly popular lately, so decided to give it a go. Well, let's just say mistakes were made.
I should've known it would happen, I mean, every time there comes a new app/social media where you can send thing anonymously to others, I've gotten hate messages, and so I did this time as well. Took a grand total of 5 minutes before the first message telling me how much of an attention seeking whore I am. 2hrs forwards and I've now gotten 2 messages telling me how fat I am, and that there's no way I can have anorexia/bulimia since I'm so fat and lazy... :)))
And idk why, but I get addicted to reading these messages, basics sitting here just waiting for new ones to arrive. Is that weird? Getting addicted to reading hate? I've always been like that and idk why? I guess I have a tendency to use it as motivation to restrict even heavier, and that that's the reason why I get so addicted to these comments.

But Jesus fucking Christ, do I have a huge ass target on my back saying "PLEASE TELL ME HOW FAT I AM" because I've been told ever since I was 10yrs (am 18 now) on a semi regular basis that I am fat/lazy/overweight

Best/worst comment I've ever gotten? "So keep on not eating bitch, cuz you need it" Seriously can't stop thinking about that comment ever since I got it a few months ago

[Other] [Discussion] I'm bored and want to write for you guys!
/u/the-watermeloner [113.4 lbs | 5'4" | 19.85 | my bmi makes me want to die]
Created: Sun Aug 6 12:35:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s01nk/discussion_im_bored_and_want_to_write_for_you_guys/
Hi c: I'm bored and pushing past some food cravings right now, so I was wondering if you guys could give me some simple writing prompts, related to EDs/food or not.

(if I'm not being clear, here's an example of a prompt -- _if cravings were people._)

[also changed that flair 'cause I'm dumb lol]

[Help] Has anyone dealt with mass hair loss because of their ED?
Created: Sun Aug 6 12:34:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s01i0/has_anyone_dealt_with_mass_hair_loss_because_of/
My hair is coming out in clumps and I've always had a full thick head of hair. I am so worried and need some advice.
Have any of you dealt with this before? Any tips?

[Humor] MFW I've taken two bites of a 230 calorie protein bar and my bf asks if I wanna go out for dinner
/u/skinnifat [5'4" | CW: 132 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 12:24:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rzzb1/mfw_ive_taken_two_bites_of_a_230_calorie_protein/

[Other] Day 1 of my 3 day water fast
Created: Sun Aug 6 12:03:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rzuqx/day_1_of_my_3_day_water_fast/

[Rant/Rave] Just ate an entire bag of crispy noodles
Created: Sun Aug 6 12:00:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rzu1d/just_ate_an_entire_bag_of_crispy_noodles/

[Rant/Rave] Worst binge in a while. (on mobile, can't flair)
Created: Sun Aug 6 12:00:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rzty5/worst_binge_in_a_while_on_mobile_cant_flair/
I basically binged all week, but today was the worst. I skipped breakfast, lunch was healthy and low cal, then I made pancakes... I ate 680 calories worth of pancakes. At that point I was already over my calorie budget for the day, so I entered "binge mode" and ate an entire pizza (around 860 calories) and tons of sweet tea. Total 1900 calories. My TDEE is 1484.

I feel awfully full and want to to throw up, but I don't purge so...

[Rant/Rave] Appreciation post for my boyfriend
Created: Sun Aug 6 11:40:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rzpsj/appreciation_post_for_my_boyfriend/
I've really hit the jackpot in my boyfriend when it relates to my disordered eating. He lets me rant/rave about gains and losses without necessarily encouraging or discouraging my behaviors.

I'm currently about 15 lbs less than when we started dating and he must have picked up on my frustration with his comments about my "curves" because he's traded them in for compliments on how skinny I'm looking. He'll wrap his arms around my waist and say how small it is. Or pick me up and say that I barely weigh anything.

The golden moment though was just this past week. He took me on a trip to an amusement park for my 21st birthday and we were riding one of the water slide rides which you have to be weighed before.

When I asked if I could step on a second before him to see my weight alone, he acted like that was totally normal and just nonchalantly hung back for a second. God bless him. 😭

[Help] Possible for me to go from 142lbs to 120lbs in 3 weeks?
Created: Sun Aug 6 11:17:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rzkqs/possible_for_me_to_go_from_142lbs_to_120lbs_in_3/

[Humor] Banana Protects
/u/iceboxxxxx [5'5.75" | CW: 129 | GW: 113 | 20.9]
Created: Sun Aug 6 11:09:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rzj04/banana_protects/

[Help] Questions about purging.
Created: Sun Aug 6 11:03:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rzhlz/questions_about_purging/

[Discussion] Can stopping birth control cause you to lose weight?
/u/tootiredrn [5'4" | CW 162.2 | -7.8 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 10:58:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rzgli/can_stopping_birth_control_cause_you_to_lose/
I know it's a common thing that birth control (the pill version) causes you to gain weight and I have had a big weight increase after I started it but has anyone had experience stopping it and actually losing weight? I'm not on it to stop pregnancy but because off it I have really bad periods but I'll take the week of crying in pain if it means I'll lose weight faster...

[Other] Mango Power
Created: Sun Aug 6 10:57:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rzgcg/mango_power/

[Discussion] DAE ever feel super guilty and selfish about their ED?
/u/ri-ri [Height 5'3 | CW 105 | GW 95 | Female]
Created: Sun Aug 6 10:39:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rzchn/dae_ever_feel_super_guilty_and_selfish_about/
Does anyone else ever feel super shitty about having an ED? For example, hearing stories about children with disabilities and/or illnesses (such as [god forbid and I am so sorry if this touches too close to home for some] but cancer, osteogenesis imperfecta, down syndrome, etc) and just feel *super fucking shitty* that these children are just so happy to be alive and wake up to a new day? Like, I have been blessed with a healthy body but am too selfish and plagued with these ED thoughts that just torture my mind, when I should be happy to have everything I have and that I am able to grow, to talk, to walk, etc?

I feel like I am selfish and I feel super ashamed to think that some people have so little but are happy with just being ALIVE.

[Humor] "You look good!"
/u/SpitAndPennyStyle [5'2" |SW:185lbs | CW: 144lbs *drinks bleach*| GW:100 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 10:39:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rzcer/you_look_good/
"Thank you"
"You've lost weight...was it on purpose?"
*every food I've ever C/S, every meal I've skipped, and every minute I spent counting and recounting calories flashed before my eyes*
"No, I just started eating better", I lied as I slowly shrank into a corncob.

[Other] I feel like I've been asleep for years and just woke up in an obese body
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1.5" | cw 159 | gw 145 | -11]
Created: Sun Aug 6 10:38:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rzc6y/i_feel_like_ive_been_asleep_for_years_and_just/
K so first off I have a bunch of problems that all play off each other in a variety of ways. Severe social anxiety and agoraphobia are bigger factors in my life than my ED - usually. But something like 6 weeks ago, it flipped. After months (years tbh) of binging I hit some kind of wall. I was suddenly aware of how massive I was. Idk if I had been compartmentalizing my size in some way, but it hit me all at once and I became unable to see people. I leave my house once a week to see my new therapist, who I realistically weigh almost twice as much as.

I feel like there are tumors hanging off of me. I feel like people on the street despise me. It feels like going out without pants on, or after not showering for 2 weeks. Like I'm exposed. I can't just put pants on though or take a shower. This fix is going to take months. And I'm convinced that I won't have social anxiety or agoraphobia anymore when I'm thin again. Some part of me knows that's not true but it's the only hope I have to cling on to. I hate that I could not eat for 2 weeks and still be fat. I feel trapped.

[Other] Self-harm and Anorexia
Created: Sun Aug 6 10:23:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rz957/selfharm_and_anorexia/

Experience of anorexia? Self-harm? Would you share your experiences to help improve treatment services?

*Do not need to have been in treatment or diagnosed* * All completely confidential and anonymous*


I've recovered from anorexia and currently at university helping with some really important, non-profit research into improving how eating disorder treatment services help and tailor treatment for those with anorexia. This entails informing services of how best to tailor treatment to help people in all stages of anorexia.

We fully understand this is a really sensitive and upsetting topic, yet if you or anyone you know of has had any experience of an eating disorder could complete this questionnaire (link below), it would be very much appreciated.

The questionnaire should only take 20-25 minutes and any input is really valued.
For more information about the study see the Fb page (facebook. com/shacrossan) or please feel free to message me for the link for the study itself (https://chester.onlinesurveys.ac.uk/sh-across-an)

Thank you!

[Other] Anyone tried Walden Foods zero-calorie dressings, dips?
/u/ri-ri [Height 5'3 | CW 105 | GW 95 | Female]
Created: Sun Aug 6 10:22:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rz8zi/anyone_tried_walden_foods_zerocalorie_dressings/
Anyone tried these Walden Foods stuff? They have like zero calorie syrups, dressings, and dips for fruit and stuff. I tried the zero calorie ranch dressing and I would rather die but they have good chocolate syrup that is better than nothing...

EDIT: Reason I am asking is because the stuff is so *god damn expensive!!!* I want some good reviews before I spend another $6.00 on a little bottle of a chemical shitstorm that just tastes like ass :3

[Help] I binged yesterday, and I'm scared to calculate how much I ate.
/u/girlmeetscontrol [6'0 | -15| BMI: 22.16 | GW: 120 | F + gf vegan]
Created: Sun Aug 6 10:11:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rz6tv/i_binged_yesterday_and_im_scared_to_calculate_how/
Yesterday was hell for me. I had to work because it was a required event for everyone to participate in. It was a 12 hour shift with no break, and I burned at least 1300-1500 calories with everything I did.

When I got home, I had my usual dinner. Then, after an impulsive decision, I decided to go get ice cream, lentil chips, and wine. I ate all of the chips, drank a glass of wine, and half of the ice cream.

I have yet to have a BM even though it's noon, and I'm just scared to look in the mirror. I tried to rationalize it because it's all vegan and I burned so many calories yesterday, but it's scary to me because I just don't want to be fat anymore, and then I do shit like this. I also have leftovers, and I hate wasting food, but I also don't want to be a pig.

Am I being irrational?

EDIT: It's 5:20 PM, and I couldn't bring myself to eat today. I ingested 1200 calories yesterday, including breakfast. I burned 1,587 calories. I feel silly for blowing it out of proportion. I didn't gain, but hopefully I can bring myself to eat something today.

[Help] Upcoming intake appointment for an outpatient program. I need to know what questions I'll be asked. Or any advice to help me prepare.
/u/northdakotanowhere [5'7 | CW:125 | BMI:19.5 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 10:05:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rz5f0/upcoming_intake_appointment_for_an_outpatient/
I'm having some severe brain fog today so bare with me. Bear? Bare?

My therapist suggested I get help for my issues with food. I've had these issues for over 10 years but my upcoming vacation with my family triggered a relapse. I've been restricting heavily for a month but its obviously not good enough. I've never received help for an eating disorder and still refuse to accept that I have one. But she also recommended I do php for self harm/suicidal thoughts and that really helped so I do trust her.

So I am moving forward with this appointment. I don't even know what to call it. I filled out a bunch of paperwork and sent it to them. I'm terrified I do have a problem and terrified I don't. I have ADHD so it takes me awhile to process questions and pull the information from my brain. I just need to have an idea of what they're going to ask me. The initial appointment is 3 hours. After doing php I was so overwhelmed and overstimulated I had to go to my car and cut. I've been clean from that for like 3 months now so I can't let that happen again.

I just need to have an idea of what to expect. Do I need to be ready for recovery? I don't even know what that means. I'm not at an unhealthy weight. I'm not ready to stop losing though. My anxiety is horrible. The appointment is over a week away but I won't be able to think about anything else until its over with. The intake appointment for php was absolutely brutal. If I can prepare myself for this appointment I think I'll be more receptive to what they say....

Any help or advice would be GREATLY appreciated.

[Discussion] August 6th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 09:54:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rz38t/august_6th_2017_question_of_the_day/
Who are you?

(Starting out with a rough one, yikes! Thanks, journal πŸ™„)

[Intro] An introduction
/u/oreofright [5' 1" | CW: 125 | GW: 100]
Created: Sun Aug 6 09:51:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rz2gb/an_introduction/
Hi. I've lurked here on and off before. I'm 24, a senior in university, married. And the first weird thing is that I don't have an eating disorder. So why am I here? Something about this place resonates with me so much. I struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts come and go. I have gone months without an appetite before. I was recently put on a new medicine and will likely not have an appetite for a while... The dark side of my brain says "This is your chance. You're too fat. You need to stop eating while you can and just lose it all. now." And that's terrible, and I know. But then it's also difficult to eat and everything tastes bad and my tongue is numb from the medicine.

Apart from that, I have a lot of guilt around food. Eating in front of others stresses me out to no end. A shared meal is an hour of mental calculus, sizing up people's TDEEs and determining how much of my plate I'm allowed to finish so I don't look like a whale. A weekend at someone's house usually sends me off the rails because, with some of my friends, I can't keep track of when all these people eat and it feels like I'm the only one in the world who feels hunger. I beat myself up for eating an unplanned handful of cherries. I'm seriously messed up. I hope you know what I mean, and that I *know* you guys don't choose this, but in the past, I guess I've gone through phases of being tempted to "try" an eating disorder and I've been able to scare myself out of it properly by reading your stories here and taking a good look at anorexia. This is the way that my own twisted illness is manifesting itself. I have whispers in the back of my head like "you should totally do this" and "you don't deserve food" and "you know you want to look like her." And like, I'm trying to ignore them and take care of myself in spite of my own wishes...but you know how it is.

So I'm here. For now and for who knows how long. To commiserate in the self-hatred and this difficult relationship I have with food. I hope you're okay with me being here.

[Rant/Rave] I can't stand myself anymore
Created: Sun Aug 6 09:03:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rysrw/i_cant_stand_myself_anymore/
I am absolutely disgusting. I hate my face. I hate my body. I hate my hair. I hate my past. I hate everything that I am and have become. And I don't know what to do about it anymore. If I could just lose the weight. But I'm too much of a failure to even do that. Not looking for pity, just need to get this off my (pathetic excuse of a) chest.

[Discussion] One mistake doesn't ruin the whole day
/u/TopCat1392 [5'4" | UGW:92.6 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 09:03:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rysrl/one_mistake_doesnt_ruin_the_whole_day/
I know this. I try to live this. But if I happen to go over my lot or eat something especially caloric and feasting isn't feasible, I'm never sure what to do. How do you reign it all in when fasting isn't an option? What do you allow yourself for the rest of the day?

[Rant/Rave] I weigh less than I did a year ago today!!!
/u/newnew4dagoodgood [5'7 | CW 134 1GW 130 2GW 125 UGW 122 | πŸ‘ is same as here |]
Created: Sun Aug 6 07:32:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rycve/i_weigh_less_than_i_did_a_year_ago_today/
Last summer I was in the process of losing a ton of weight (eating 1200 cal + burning 400 cal every day) and reached my low weight of 125 lbs. In the past year, I gained 30 lbs (lol college!!). I've been losing the weight this summer and today I weighed in at 134.4. And guess what, I had a logged a picture in MyFitnessPal from exactly a year ago today. AND I WEIGH LESS NOW THAN I DID LAST YEAR!!! It's turning out to be a really good day, even though my progress isn't as far along as I had hoped. :)

EDIT: Weighed again and I'm even less!! 132.8 :)

[Rant/Rave] I was about to binge, and then.....
/u/Get-Closer [5'2 | 129 | 23.8 | -30 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 07:11:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ry9lk/i_was_about_to_binge_and_then/
I'm PMSing and my cravings are through the roof. I already wanted to eat everything, but then this morning I saw an ad for Krispy Kreme Reese's donuts. Reese's are my favorite thing so I was actually about to get out of bed and go get one of these donuts and then just say fuck it and get a whole bunch of binge food.

And then I looked at the Krispy Kreme website at the participating locations, and my city isn't participating. No Reese's donuts!!!! I was disappointed but mostly I was super relieved that I didn't have an excuse to binge.

[Rant/Rave] Failed, and failed HARD.
/u/jessiemariexx [5'9" | CW: 122lb | GW: ~115lb | BMI: 18.5 | 24F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 06:50:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ry6hv/failed_and_failed_hard/
I should have figured that after 2 days of near starvation this would happen. I made it through half of yesterday and then ate an appetizer of bread and cheese dip to myself, followed by a nap, 5+ drinks, a plate of fried cauliflower my bf and I shared, fries AND a fucking veggie gyro.

I look 7 months pregnant this morning and all I want to do is run and sweat the entire day. I feel like actual garbage and look disgusting.

Fucking SUCKS that people can eat like this and still stay tiny. I can't go anywhere with "normal" people and not gain 5lb in one weekend.

I feel like total garbage. Please tell me it'll all be good and I'll get back on track...πŸ™ƒπŸ˜₯fuck man.

[Rant/Rave] Made really great progress and then fucked myself over.
/u/imnevergold [170 | CW 55 | GW 47 | F |]
Created: Sun Aug 6 06:38:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ry4pu/made_really_great_progress_and_then_fucked_myself/
I don't weigh myself regularly, because I know that once I start doing it on a daily basis I won't be able to stop. So I only weigh myself on the days that I poop (haha). I weighed myself 8 days ago and I was 117. I've been losing weight steadily, but slowly, because I still live with my parents. I guess I was like oh I'm making good progress I guess I can eat more subliminally? I'm not sure but I weighed myself today and I'm fucking 121. Does that mean that entire month of weight loss was wasted in one week? Fuck I feel like such a failure. I really want to buy a second scale just to make sure this one is right since it's kind of old.

Daily Food Diary! August 06, 2017
Created: Sun Aug 6 06:11:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ry12s/daily_food_diary_august_06_2017/
This is a daily food diary thread for August 06, 2017.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)

[Sticky] Sunday: Share your favorite recipes!
Created: Sun Aug 6 06:11:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ry12g/sunday_share_your_favorite_recipes/
Looking for memes? [Right this way~](/r/ProEDmemes)!

[Rant/Rave] L from Modcloth
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 06:02:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rxzx6/l_from_modcloth/
I bought clothes online and bought them in a L so that they would definitely fit.

It fits. Barely. When did I get so massive I didn't fit into a size large. LARGE.

What on earth have I been doing? Why am I so disgusting? My god. I'm horrified with myself.

[Tip] Found vegan 12kcal teriyaki sauce in Tesco
/u/WorstCunt [donkey brain]
Created: Sun Aug 6 05:53:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rxysu/found_vegan_12kcal_teriyaki_sauce_in_tesco/
Search 'celebrate health' on Tesco website. There's also Chinese beef stir fry (same cal count) and butter chicken (a lil higher)

For some reason the company lists their calories in kilojoules only, so I was really confused at first but it's definitely not a mistake.

It's an aussie company and their range is actually much bigger but this is all we get. Still chuffed though!!

[Discussion] Monster Energy Ultra
/u/newtoskate [5'8| CW:128.9lbs | BMI:19.6 | 3rd Relapse: 5lbs | F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 05:35:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rxwi8/monster_energy_ultra/
Does anyone else drink Monster Energy Ultra when restricting?
I have just discovered them as I hate coffee and didn't think I would like energy drinks, but these are zero cal and no sugar (still has sweetners so obviously not the best)

I have only tried the white can and the red can do far but they seem to beat my cravings even though I am a high restrictor 900-1300kcals a day due to parents.

[Rant/Rave] Oh god this is humiliating...
/u/FastPhoria [5'10 | 126 | 18.1 / 17.6 | GW: 119 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 05:06:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rxt0m/oh_god_this_is_humiliating/
So I am on a VERY busy train for the next four hours. I have a cabin-sized bag, which is obviously going to get in somebody's way soon given how packed the train is. I've been trying to put it on the luggage rack above the seats for about twenty minutes, but am so pathetically weak - oh, I don't know, probably something to do with NEVER EATING - that I can't.


Well done me. And well done to every inconsiderate burly man standing within a two metre radius of my feeble efforts.

[Tip] The best tip I've read for a while. Watch your poops!
/u/borbolete [5'4.3" | πŸ‘: borbolete]
Created: Sun Aug 6 04:37:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rxpob/the_best_tip_ive_read_for_a_while_watch_your_poops/
Okay I saw this comment over on /r/loseit and I could NOT resist sharing it with y'all, the queens and kings of talking about your poop.

> Log the times and dates when you go poop. You can monitor fluctuations in weight better when you know you're holding poop or changes in diet have affected how you hold your poop. Even with weekly weigh-ins, you know you haven't gone poop for a few days and your weight hasn't changed, you know you're holding waste weight and not actual fat.

Now I think about it, I haven't properly 'gone' for 3+ days. Coincidentally, my weight have stayed the same for 3+ days. Who woulda thunk.

Just thought it might help our combined sanity when dealing with sucky weigh-ins.

BTW I am British and even among 'the British folk' I'm mocked at for being the most 'polite' of my friends, so writing this post makes me cringeeee haha

[Rant/Rave] Watching "To The Bone" made me realize something about myself...
/u/fishysandwich [5'3.5" | 110 | -35 | F | πŸ‘ fishysandwich]
Created: Sun Aug 6 03:37:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rxj2i/watching_to_the_bone_made_me_realize_something/
I wanna be fucking manhandled. (haha... get it...)

I'm fucking obsessed with being loved. I wanna be touched. I want to be appreciated by someone. I want to know that I'm so important to someone no matter what.

Whenever I watch romance shows, animes, movies, I always think "I want that." I watch couples in real life and I'm like, "I want that." I have boyfriends but I never choose wisely because I think I don't have the worth to find a quality man. I choose shitty men that end up getting tired of me and later claiming that they just feel like they are taking advantage of me and I should find someone better. Shitty fucking excuses. I give my all to them, more than they deserve. I forget that I am a person with needs. Then they trash me back. I let them do what they want to me. I give up my innocence, my body, my soul, to people who don't fucking deserve me. I am fucking worth more than this and...

When my mom gives me that loving flick on my nose I think about it for days. When she hugs me out of nowhere I feel so much. When my parents are loving I am... so appreciative like what did I do to deserve this. I feel so deprived of love. In relationships I would make myself miserable on purpose to try and garner sympathy from my boyfriends whenever they weren't being affectionate enough so that I didn't have to awkwardly force it out of them. I wanted to see if they actually cared enough about me to try and make me feel better. I wanted their touch, I wanted their honest kindness and love.

But you know what? I never get it in the end.

Lucas in that movie was kind of a creep. Too pushy. And did he really have an eating disorder? Viewing Ellen as his "one last hope" as if she were HIS? Fucking shit, no. Fuck that. But that dancing scene in the rain... the restaurant scene... the rice milk with her mom... I kept saying, "I want that, I want this, I really want all this."

I want security in someone who really will stick with me, touch me, love me. I don't get loved enough. People want me, people hang with me, but I always feel used. And of course, I give myself to them, hoping that they will love me in exchange for using me.

It just shows how little I value myself. I feel like I need someone else's love for I to have worth. I feel like I need to be useful and make others happy so that I am not a waste of space or a bother.

And all I do is doubt myself. Even writing this post I am like, "I'm so fucking wrong. What the hell... you just look stupid as fuck writing this. You're a fucking cliche. You're just going to get disapproval. It's bad to be disapproved of. You don't even know what you want..." And I guess I don't because now I'm like "I just wish I had a best friend I can tell everything to." And I did, but she wasn't good to me so I left her. But I still go on thinking I made a mistake. I keep thinking I miss her when I think I just crave the platonic love of a best friendship. A love I haven't had for many years.

When I break up with boys, I never suffer much. I never miss them and I always hate them because they didn't give me the love I wanted. Only then am I able to blame others and not take personal responsibility for what happened. Because in every other instance where things get fucked up, I always blame myself. Does this make me a bad person? I don't even know.

I was gonna end this poetically like "bluh muh muh I just want someone to love me" but no I think I'm a messed up bitch who doesn't know what she wants and kinda wants someone to save her even though that doesn't happen in real life and I know that but I keep hoping.

The thought of fasting tomorrow makes me feel better, though. So there's that, at least.

edit: thank you so much for reading!! waking up to people saying they feel the same makes me feel so much more validated and not alone :)

Lost my peach login
Created: Sun Aug 6 00:10:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rwvgd/lost_my_peach_login/

[Rant/Rave] old woman rants at cloud (long as SHIT)
/u/iloveitosusumu [5'9" | CW170 | GW120 | BMI24.65 | 19F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 23:40:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rwrdh/old_woman_rants_at_cloud_long_as_shit/
I don't even know where to start. I've been losing the same ten pounds for over 2 fucking years and I just now managed to cut what feels like a week-long binge. I'm so sick of myself, I can't get myself to act on simple fucking math. I hate being fat so much. I have never been skinny since hitting puberty and I want so badly to just get myself to do it!!!

I don't know why I can't just stay in the lines and not eat grotesque amounts of food, I don't even taste it anymore after 2,000 calories. I eat good for like 2 weeks and then I'm back on my bullshit like never before. Being kind to myself doesn't work because then I just rationalize eating an entire gallon of ice cream as a """""treat""""" for doing so well tee hee :)))))))))))))))) Being mean to myself makes me self-isolate and ruins what few relationships and opportunities I have. The weight's constantly there all the same though. Whenever it leaves it just has to wait a week to return as I eat like an absolute fucking vacuum.

I've also entered a relationship with a man who has never had to read a nutrition label or google a calorie count for anything he's ever eaten in his life. He's insecure about being too thin, but he drives me crazy. I love him, I wish I was him, and I don't know how to be in a relationship with somebody like him. He always wants to eat total garbage with me and I can't stand it!!!! I've told him I'm on a diet (like six fucking months ago, where are the results you oreo-inhaling macroorganism???) and when we eat he always goes off like "see you eat normal, I don't know what you're worried about :)" like hahahaha dear would you say that again if you watched me walk in my kitchen as soon as I get home and literally drop to the floor in prayer for the binge you've just triggered fucking YEEEEEEEEEEEET BITCH I WISH I WAS DEAD!!!

I don't talk to him for days when I get stuck in the cycle and I can fucking tell I already soured the relationship 4 months in. He knows I'm fucked in the head, I know he knows. I'm just waiting for him to drop the "I can't be with you" hammer on me and I think about that as I wake up every hour in the night from being painfully full to go downstairs and eat more food. I've put my life on hold since I graduated hs 2 years ago because I hated myself and now I've wasted 2 years hating myself even more. I'm so fucking humiliated and I feel stupid and completely dysfunctional. I don't know how to go back to school and I don't want to anyway, I want to get skinny and then I think I just want to die, because I know that it won't fix me.

Sometimes I feel like I've been self-sabotaging all this time, because at least if I'm fat then there's always a clear goal. I'm afraid of what my life will be like when I'm a size 2 and still a sad, lonely person stuck in her own paradoxical combo of narcissism and self-hatred. My home life will still be fucked, I'll still be socially non-functioning, my mental illnesses will still be there, I still won't be confident enough to go to school, my face will still be tired and average, and I'll still want to be dead.

[Intro] It really has been quite the roller coaster.
Created: Sat Aug 5 23:33:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rwqde/it_really_has_been_quite_the_roller_coaster/

why does she do this to me
Created: Sat Aug 5 23:28:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rwpol/why_does_she_do_this_to_me/

[Help] Has anyone here been to overeaters anonymous?
/u/Glazed9000 [5'7' | 113 | 17.7 ]
Created: Sat Aug 5 23:07:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rwmtg/has_anyone_here_been_to_overeaters_anonymous/
I'm not doing so well and I think I need some help. Counseling is not an option because I don't want my parents to spend money on it.

Has OA helped any of you guys? What was the environment like? Thanks

Extreme caloric deficit advice? (almost 2000 a day?)
Created: Sat Aug 5 23:07:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rwms3/extreme_caloric_deficit_advice_almost_2000_a_day/

[Discussion] DAE binge when they're tired?
Created: Sat Aug 5 22:57:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rwl9o/dae_binge_when_theyre_tired/

[Discussion] Anyone else on here torture themselves w food porn??
/u/flatout_ [5'4 |110 lb | 18.9 | GW 100 lb | 24F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 22:36:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rwi6v/anyone_else_on_here_torture_themselves_w_food_porn/
Hey everyone!! Firstly--inaugural post on here. I've really been appreciating all of these discussions/rants/conversations/etc., and just the space in general. So thanks for being you!!!

To the point, tho. Who else watches hours and hours of cooking videos on YouTube while fasting/restricting?? Do y'all read food blogs w beautifully lit photos and detailed (too detailed!!) recipes of dishes you could never bring yourself to eat??? I know I can't be the only one.

One of my oldest friends had a potluck birthday party last night, so I naturally made a multi-thousand cal oxtail and Swiss chard mac n cheese w gruyΓ¨re, fontina, pecorino........... Guess who sat in a corner chain smoking and horking down raw celery the whole night πŸ™‹πŸ»πŸ™‹πŸ»πŸ™‹πŸ»

[Discussion] What was it like to hit your GW?
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 21:01:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rw33l/what_was_it_like_to_hit_your_gw/
Allow me to live vicariously through you.

[Goal] 2kg from no longer being overweight
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 20:48:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rw0sh/2kg_from_no_longer_being_overweight/
I'll get there in the next few days 😍

I've lost 5kg (11lbs) in about 3 weeks. I can't wait to get to my first actual milestone of 78kg.

Summer will be my bitch. 3 months to get down to 58kg 😍

[Rant/Rave] After years of 'I'll do it when I'm at my UGW', I finally booked a haircut.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW 145.0 | UGW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 20:10:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rvud3/after_years_of_ill_do_it_when_im_at_my_ugw_i/
It sounds so stupid as do most of my ED rationals.

But I've had very long hair my whole life and it's what I hide behind. My hair doesn't care about my weight. It's just not affected by it and it's been great.

But I've needed a decent cut for a while now. And a recent 2 week camping trip destroyed my hair since the water was very mineral heavy.

Anyway, I caved. So many things I promise myself when I weigh less. But technically I'm 20 pounds less than I was a few months back. So that's good. But I didn't feel I deserved yet. But I did it anyway.

It may not seem like a big deal, but it means I put myself first rather than my ED. Baby steps.

[Rant/Rave] Skinny girls everywhere
/u/jessiemariexx [5'9" | CW: 122lb | GW: ~115lb | BMI: 18.5 | 24F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 19:59:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rvsev/skinny_girls_everywhere/
On vaca. Like a surplus of perfect women. How the fuck are we supposed to keep up

[Rant/Rave] I exist to make others feel better about themselves. Translation: I chewed on my contact lens in a middle of a binge
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Sat Aug 5 19:52:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rvr9t/i_exist_to_make_others_feel_better_about/
Sometimes I don't know why I keep on going. B/p for second time today. I'm missing out on a friend hosting an event for a comedy improv show. I was binging and had dry eyes.

While blinking, my left contact fell out. Whatever, I'll find it later, I thought because I needed to finish binging. Then all of a sudden, I am chewing on something that had a weird texture. At first I thought it was a pickle in my sandwich, but yeah...it was my contact lens. And I picked it out, but only part of it.

I was fucking chewing on my contact lens. This is why they don't make realistic movies about bulimia/binging. They'll never be able to capture the tragic shame.

[Other] Lonely
Created: Sat Aug 5 19:36:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rvohk/lonely/
I just recently got out of a long term manipulative relationship and I am just so damn lonely. I lost all of my friends while I was in that relationship. I used to talk to him constantly, and now I don't talk to anyone ever. My friends are gone, my fiance is gone, and all I have left is my shitty eating disorder and suicidal ideation.

[Goal] Closer to goal weight, emotionally numb
/u/throwaway002300 [25 | 5'3" | CW 115 | BMI 20.4| GW 105| HW 160]
Created: Sat Aug 5 19:32:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rvnwf/closer_to_goal_weight_emotionally_numb/
This morning the scale read 111lbs. Now, I thought I would be absolutely ECSTATIC about this. All I've wanted for months is to be closer to my goal weight and in my head I know I should be excitedly celebrating. But all I did was stare at that number expressionless and numbly process it as another event. Because at this point I'm realizing the number doesn't matter, even if it's less than the day before. First it was 130, then 125, to 120, 115 and it just gets lower and lower until god only knows.

[Thinspo] Still not enough...15 to go
Created: Sat Aug 5 19:27:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rvmzs/still_not_enough15_to_go/

[Rant/Rave] I don't think I'm gonna do that again.
/u/tarantulahospital [5'7 | -25lb | F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 19:21:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rvluw/i_dont_think_im_gonna_do_that_again/
Note to self:
If you're going to c/s a ton of food, make sure to not dump an entire pizza and a fourth and then some in your toilet at once.
You will probably start panicking because you're not used to clogged toilets.

That was not fun. Thank goodness I cleared it up and it wasn't that bad of a mess. :/

[Discussion] Something I've Noticed About This Community
/u/cats_is_cats [62" | CW 236 | 46 BMI | 194 lbs Lost | F vegan]
Created: Sat Aug 5 18:46:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rvfta/something_ive_noticed_about_this_community/

[Other] My calculator is the only thing that keeps me sane
/u/AnaWahad [174 cm | CW 75 | HW 100kg | GW 54kg | F | πŸ‘ Kelkein]
Created: Sat Aug 5 18:08:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rv8pd/my_calculator_is_the_only_thing_that_keeps_me_sane/
I carry a calculator literally everywhere at this point. Everytime I eat more than I should, I pull it out and do a bunch of calculations to show myself that I can't mathematically have gained 5 kg from 1 day of bingeing. And sometimes, I just keep doing the same calculations over and over because seeing that I could lose x amount of weight in x amount of days by eating x amount of calories is the only thing that brings me the tiniest bit of happiness at this point.

So yeah, thank you, calculator.

[Humor] When you drink coffee to have a BM
Created: Sat Aug 5 17:41:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rv3qs/when_you_drink_coffee_to_have_a_bm/
And it gives you the annoying side effect of being REALLY CAFFEINATED 😝

[Rant/Rave] Today I destroyed ________
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 17:20:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rv00d/today_i_destroyed/
So I got this 5 year journal that asks you a different question every day for a year, and has 5 spots on every page for 5 years so you can look back on your responses.

Today's was "Today I destroyed ________" and since I had already had 1400 calories at that point (literally 30 minutes within waking up) I put "my calorie limit."

Then I ate everything else, and then I was gonna read a book (I used to read a ton but have fallen into the Netflix black hole), but then I fell asleep and am now eating everything again and watching tv.

So yet again, why am I like this πŸ™‚πŸ™ƒ

Today I destroyed myself

Edit: if anyone would be interested in me posting the daily question, it could be kind of fun for us all to answer and discuss, since this is a totally safe space. Like the other day, the question is "what am I lying about?" It'll be pretty interesting to see if I'm still lying about purging at this time next year or in 5 years. Let me know πŸ™‚

[Help] Freaking out a bit????
Created: Sat Aug 5 17:12:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ruyiw/freaking_out_a_bit/

[Rant/Rave] idek what now
/u/mhm646 [5'5" | CW 134 | GW 125 | UGW 118 | -7 | 20F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 16:56:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ruvkr/idek_what_now/
basically all the most annoying and inconvenient things that could happen in the last few days have happened and I just give up tbh so I thought like "okay I'm gonna go get Thai food and eat ALL OF IT" and maybe I'll feel less anxious and shit. well nope I didn't even finish half of it and the half I did eat just upset my stomach... what good is binging if I can't even feel a little better before I feel like total shit :(

Daily Food Diary! August 05, 2017
/u/daeboo [5ft2/87.2lbsπŸŒ‘]
Created: Sat Aug 5 16:36:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rurv1/daily_food_diary_august_05_2017/
This is a daily food diary thread for August 05, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.

Please forgive this shoddy daily food diary as the more experienced mods aren't around at the moment, and I'm not nearly as competent.

[Rant/Rave] Eating out with friends
/u/tootiredrn [5'4" | CW 162.2 | -7.8 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 15:48:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ruiav/eating_out_with_friends/
I know this has happened to a lot of people but as I've just gotten back into a restriction phase for the first time in almost a year it's never happened that I can remember.

We we're going out to eat after class and I only made one request, that we go somewhere with calories on the menu. Not hard right? All fast food places and a lot of sit in places have it on their menu now a days. Well they decided to go to this Mexican restaurant and I was outvoted, so I had to guestimate amount of chips and salsa and queso had which I SUCK at and then when I just got a margarita they literally kept bringing up oh your not eating? Why don't you just get a little something. It's so. Fucking. Frustrating. Im already here trying to do all this mental calculation of ounces of queso I don't need the constant reminder that I have no idea how much I've eaten and can't risk any more. Next time I'm just going to say no to going out like I should have in the first place. (Also 80% sure this one girl has an AN and she was the goddamn leader of the 3 ringed circus trying to shove more food on me). Like, would it be so fucking hard to just leave the fat girl alone?

[Humor] these chips are DISGUSTING (humor)
/u/swagcat9000 [5'5" | 131 lbs | 21.8 | -37 | M |]
Created: Sat Aug 5 15:24:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rudoa/these_chips_are_disgusting_humor/
(on mobile, humor flair pls)
My mom just bought a bag of Chicken and Waffle potato chips from the grocery store. Are they disgusting? ABSOLUTELY. Am I going to binge on them next time I'm alone with them? YOU BETCHA.

[Help] Google keeps telling me different answers! How many calories in 8 ounces of chicken?
Created: Sat Aug 5 15:19:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rucly/google_keeps_telling_me_different_answers_how/

[Discussion] Does anyone ever wonder how much their hair weighs?
/u/sp_600 [5'7 | 114 lbs | bmi 17.9 | 20yr female]
Created: Sat Aug 5 14:53:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ru7a6/does_anyone_ever_wonder_how_much_their_hair_weighs/
I think mine must be at least .8 lbs. the fact that i even think about this means i am crazy

/u/sp_600 [5'7 | 114 lbs | bmi 17.9 | 20yr female]
Created: Sat Aug 5 14:38:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ru4hb/how_is_this_fucking_possible/
I haven't really lost weight all week. I am between 117.5 and 120.5. I am going to go crazy. I eat less than 900 cal per day and have an extremely active job. I restrict to the point of being faint and exhausted. Aren't plateaus for normies?

When you think you're hot
Created: Sat Aug 5 14:11:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rtyu7/when_you_think_youre_hot/

[Rant/Rave] To everyone waiting for a whoosh:
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" β˜€οΈ attempting recovery β˜€οΈ πŸ‘ tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Sat Aug 5 13:21:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rtoi0/to_everyone_waiting_for_a_whoosh/
Monday: 159.2

Tuesday: 158.2

Wednesday: 156.5

Thursday: 156.2

Friday: 154.2

Saturday: 151 (but I had another BM so it's less than that but I already ate so idk what I weigh)

I was 159 for like a month before this.

Nine pounds over the course of four days. I didn't know if I believed in the whoosh be before but holy shit guys keep pushing onward and hold on tight.

[Discussion] Feeling hopeless
Created: Sat Aug 5 13:16:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rtnet/feeling_hopeless/
I'm turning 23 in 23 days. For the past few months I've been losing the same 10 pounds. I wanna lose at least 20 so badly by my birthday, I mean it's not a weight I'm gonna be happy with considering I could be a lot smaller by now, I could've lost the 50 pounds I gained since my last birthday and more if I would just control myself, and say no to my fiancΓ© sometimes. But it's a start. Have any of you had to lose any last minute weight? Like 20 pounds in less than a month? And succeeded? I need motivation :c

[Rant/Rave] An binging nightmare
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Sat Aug 5 12:45:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rth2g/an_binging_nightmare/
Ugh, I realize there's a typo in title

I just finished binging in my car...I went to start my car to go home and battery is dead. Called roadside assistance. They'll be here ETA 1.5 hrs.

I cannot do this. I can't purge in the public restroom here but I'm along a highway so there are no options. The only solution I have is to keep on binging til they get here. I hope they come sooner rather than later.


[Rant/Rave] My new relationship has brought my ED more power
Created: Sat Aug 5 12:31:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rte81/my_new_relationship_has_brought_my_ed_more_power/

[Help] Chronic constipation is really affecting my quality of life
/u/athrowaway76250 [5'4" | CW: 102 | BMI: 18.03 | GW: 96 | SW: 120 | 24F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 12:17:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rtbec/chronic_constipation_is_really_affecting_my/
Sorry if that's TMI, but I don't know what to do :(

This has been going on for several months now, but gotten worse in the last few months. I used to "go" every day without fail, and now it's usually every other day (sometimes every *three or four* days if I'm unlucky). I *really* don't want to start relying on laxatives because I know that can become a habit, and I know it can mess up your digestive system to use them too much. I don't want to up my calories either, but I know this is probably a result of not eating enough. And it's making me miserable. Is there anything I can do to help alleviate this? Maybe focus on food with lots of fiber?

[Rant/Rave] It's like I don't even care that I can't walk xD
Created: Sat Aug 5 11:35:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rt2en/its_like_i_dont_even_care_that_i_cant_walk_xd/
Sprained my ankle pretty badly playing sports today, I couldn't walk so a team mate carried me to the bench for ice. Later on we were headed to the car to go home and she said "You're so tiny! I picked you up and you basically don't weigh anything!"
Guys. I've never been called tiny before. I'm practically giddy. Over a sprained ankle xD I can't even lol

[Humor] Just picked up an order of binge food, and the waitress goes "I packed an extra order of bread for you guys!"
/u/then_she_said [5'7 | -41 | 27F | UGW: 135]
Created: Sat Aug 5 11:07:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rswm7/just_picked_up_an_order_of_binge_food_and_the/
Ha, "you guys"

[Discussion] what are yall doing this weekend?
Created: Sat Aug 5 10:45:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rss0h/what_are_yall_doing_this_weekend/

[Rant/Rave] I hate cameras :/
/u/caithaa [5'7 | 120 | 18.78 | 20F 🌼]
Created: Sat Aug 5 10:39:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rsqto/i_hate_cameras/
I was doing a body check in front of my bathroom mirror today, and I was really digging the way I looked. I had this black bandeau and floral cheekini on and I wanted to send it to a friend saying how good would this look as a bikini combo. And as soon as I turned on my camera, I immediately gained at least 20 pounds. Ugh. Never mind feeling good about myself for a quick sec.

[Rant/Rave] "and we'll have a ___ to share"
/u/missalligator [5'2" | 100 lb | GW 93 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 10:36:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rsqav/and_well_have_a_to_share/
NO WE WON'T. I don't want fries, I didn't order fries, and no I won't share them with you to make you feel better about yourself. You didn't even ask me before ordering and asking for two plates if I wanted them. So I sit there and finish the broccoli I ordered and you haven't touched a single fry THAT YOU ORDERED but you keep telling me to have some. Then you say that you're full and don't want this huge plate of fries but don't want them to go to waste, so you push them across the table and tell me to have them as the group of kids at the table next to us start to whisper to each other about me and the scene you've created. Long story short is, if you have something to say, say it. Stop playing games with me please and trying to manipulate me into eating high calorie foods.

Sorry I just needed to get that rant out about a friend, or people in general, but in the way I wish I could say it to their face you know? Its just so embarassing when people think it'd be easier to coax me into it if we're at a restaurant and I already have social anxiety in certain public places especially ones involving food. It draws enough attention when everyone else orders >600 cal and I get a small side of some steamed veggie and everyone loses their mind and makes it a personal responsibility to feed me.

[Rant/Rave] Why do popcorn companies hate me????
/u/Andersoncooperspenis [5'6 | CW:😭 | GW:115 |-29| F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 10:34:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rspui/why_do_popcorn_companies_hate_me/
Ok, a little rant. I'm just so confused why popcorn companies make it so difficult to count calories??? I'm looking up the calories in Jolly Time Healthy Pop and they give both the unpopped calories and then the calories in 1 cup popped popcorn? Who even eats unpopped popcorn out of a microwave bag?? and a serving is 5 cups popped, or 2 tablespoons unpopped. So why not give the calories for the 5 cups popped rather than just one cup? There's even 12.5 cups in a bag apparently. And they dont state how many tablespoons unpopped when they give you the unpopped calories. GAH.

Also they say there is 20 cal in a cup, but then 110 in an "undisclosed" amount of unpopped popcorn. But if a serving is 5 cups, 5x20 is only 100? So am I just stupid, or??

I have this problem with Orville Redenbacher's too. Why does popcorn have to be so good, yet so confusing to figure out nutrition information? It's my favourite food 😭

[Other] New progress checking obsession...I discovered that my left arm is bigger than my right though
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Sat Aug 5 10:27:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rsobz/new_progress_checking_obsessioni_discovered_that/

[Rant/Rave] I don't think this is what they ment
Created: Sat Aug 5 10:25:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rsny5/i_dont_think_this_is_what_they_ment/
On mobile. Please tag as Binge.

SO is working all day. I have been tasked with clearing out the kitchen, rearranging it, and putting away our wedding presents.

I also signed up for a weight loss thing threw work. Well this week is throwing out/setting up your kitchen for success.

I have already eaten soup, chips and salasa, the rest of the Ferrero cocoa filled eggs, and I'm eyeing the bag of coffee nut m and m's.

I don't think this is what anyone ment. I need to find something to stop this binge. Ugh.

Hope everyone else is having a better day than I am.

[Rant/Rave] Can we get a big 'Thank you' to our mods? You guys are amazing!
/u/mypure [5'8 | 20 | πŸ‘: mypure]
Created: Sat Aug 5 10:25:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rsnta/can_we_get_a_big_thank_you_to_our_mods_you_guys/
Thanks for making our community what it is.

[Discussion] What's the worst thing you've ever overheard someone say about your ED?
/u/iamLuc [5'5 | too fat | -27 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 10:15:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rslwk/whats_the_worst_thing_youve_ever_overheard/
I just overheard my stepmonster tell my father that he needs to talk to me about how it's "not okay for her to devour all the ice cream and chips or whatever"... and I'm feeling pretty fucking shitty. I haven't even touched ice cream in over a month so... it's kinda like she's been holding onto this for months. I feel like a total gluttonous pig.

On the bright side, I only have ten more days left here and then I'm moving into my dorm... so I'll be out of this shitty fucking environment with all this shitty fucking junk food. I had already kinda wanted to fast but this kinda has driven me over the edge and I think I'm gonna try to fast until I'm out of here because... I can't face the idea of eating in front of her again.

(I'm on mobile so I can't flair it... if one of the mods could flair it as discussion that would be great :D)

[Help] Why the fuck are my nails purple???
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" β˜€οΈ attempting recovery β˜€οΈ πŸ‘ tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Sat Aug 5 08:42:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rs3nq/why_the_fuck_are_my_nails_purple/
Sorry if this is a really dumb post. I've never restricted hardcore before this week. I had 900, then 385, then 415, then 815. Now my nails are purple.

[Other] Unexpected ED side effect.
/u/High_as_red [5'4 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 07:46:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rrtqk/unexpected_ed_side_effect/
I started narating my binges in a Jamaican accent. I don't know why. If I go more than 3 days under 400 calories I have these huge binges and I'd throw litterly everything on a wrap. And I'd narate it. Season them tomatoes mahn. God what's next

[Discussion] How to be healthy with an ED?
/u/imnevergold [170 | CW 55 | GW 47 | F |]
Created: Sat Aug 5 07:38:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rrsgz/how_to_be_healthy_with_an_ed/

[Discussion] high endurance stamina activities while fasting or restricting??? [discussion]
/u/black_cofee_body [5'5 |CW:149 |GW:110|F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 07:28:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rrqwu/high_endurance_stamina_activities_while_fasting/
Does anybody do like high stamina activities besides exercise, specifically I want to get back into dancing and want to take classes. The thing is Im a big restrictor and faster. I mean if I eat alot I will freak out lol, but I know I probably need to eat something in order to keep up and not faint. I take Primatene for energy will it help me out?Has anybody done this while restricting?

[Rant/Rave] My roommate is better at having an ED than me according to my fucked up brain
/u/MightyMuskrats [🐝5'2 | πŸ‹ | GW 115 | -17 | 22F🐝]
Created: Sat Aug 5 07:18:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rrpdi/my_roommate_is_better_at_having_an_ed_than_me/
My roommate/best friend is in a downward spiral because of some past trauma that's been coming back to haunt her lately and she's been restricting and purging and like I've tried to be the "concerned friend" and try to encourage her to be healthy and not go down this path, but also I'm just like, so. Jealous. Because she's lost a bunch of weight already and she's only like x lbs from her goal weight (which she decided on because I had once told her my goal weight and she wants to be skinnier than me and I know that's the reason even though she's 6 INCHES TALLER THAN ME) and meanwhile I've been stuck in a binge cycle for like a month and can't stop and I've gained so much back and I just hate myself and watching her do this just makes me feel like even more of a failure than I already did and you guys I'm just so upset and yet I still can't stop binging and I feel like I'm just doomed to be the fat friend forever

Okay, sorry, rant over... I just had to get that out and nobody knows about my eating problems other than y'all so I guess just thanks for being such a supportive community πŸ’•

[Tip] Interested in Recovery?
Created: Sat Aug 5 06:47:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rrkmx/interested_in_recovery/
Hi guys, I'm mostly a lurker here, but thought I should give a heads up.

My ED started when I was 12 and peaked when I was 15. At my peak I realized how big of a problem it was and actively looked for a way out. I Googled treatments which were(still are) unaffordable to me. I ended up applying for and received a treatment grant from Project Heal, which funded my stay for a month in a residential teen ED treatment house. My ED is still there, but I have stopped purging completely, it's not the center of my life and I'm much, much happier than I was. I would suggest only applying if you are serious about recovery, because it won't be easy, still isn't. Even if you're not interested, if you know someone you think might benefit from this, spread the word! I don't know the founders personally but one of them interviewed me and we talked through e-mail a couple times. They are both recovered and truly helpful. Here's the link: http://theprojectheal.org/apply-for-grants/our-scholarship-progra/

They can help pay for inpatient, outpatient too btw.

PS I know this sub is called ProED but I've seen some people interested in recovery

[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! August 05, 2017
Created: Sat Aug 5 06:16:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rrgcm/stupid_questions_saturday_august_05_2017/
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for August 05, 2017.

Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**


Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Other] This is an autopsy done on an obese woman
/u/burgundyburning [5'8 | 51.6 kg/113.6 lb | BMI 17.04 | GW: 51 kg/112 lb]
Created: Sat Aug 5 06:07:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rrf2j/this_is_an_autopsy_done_on_an_obese_woman/

[Thinspo] Thinspiration 8.05
Created: Sat Aug 5 05:55:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rrdg3/thinspiration_805/

[Discussion] Best/worst CSing foods?
/u/swagcat9000 [5'5" | 131 lbs | 21.8 | -37 | M |]
Created: Sat Aug 5 05:41:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rrbr1/bestworst_csing_foods/
(discussion flair)
Yeah I know pretty much all my posts are about csing but hey that's how I resist binging when I'm restricting. But hey! Let's talk about the best foods and the worst foods to do it with!
Personally, I find bread the easiest to spit and peanut butter is the hardest (so sticky ew)

[Rant/Rave] Victory, bitches.
/u/jessiemariexx [5'9" | CW: 122lb | GW: ~115lb | BMI: 18.5 | 24F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 05:37:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rrbbn/victory_bitches/
Celebrating my self control here for a minute y'all.

I'm out of town for the weekend with my boyfriend. We go to a lot of breweries and there's usually CRAZY good food, like to die for kinda shit. Drunkenness + delicious smells usually leads to a huge binge that ruins the rest of my weekend. I held back though. We got drunk last night and he ordered food (fries with parm and beer cheese dip, a pound of hot chicken wings with bleu cheese crumble, loaded nachos with queso, cilantro, pickled onions and pork belly πŸ”₯). They looked **amazing** but I didn't even try a single fry because I knew it would go downhill. Boyfriend binged HARD and felt terrible after. No sex for me. Lol.

One more day of self control to go. Lots of walking happening thankfully too.

[Rant/Rave] i hate food ads (caution: rant spiral)
/u/kinaadman [CW: FAT | GW: 90lbs]
Created: Sat Aug 5 04:56:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rr6dy/i_hate_food_ads_caution_rant_spiral/
they're everywhere and i hate them. they're all over the internet. they're all over facebook and instagram and just EVERYWHERE as if people posting pictures of the food they're eating isn't enough???

and why does every fucking get together have to involve food? can't we just hang out at the gym or something? unless you want to hold my hair back while i purge this latte?????? a+ bonding experience 10/10 would do again

i want this to be my last purge and i want to be able to just be skinny and i am fucking done with eating i am fucking done with food i am fucking done done done done done. people keep telling me i look "better" now that i've gained weight but they don't understand how every time they say that it's like a knife through the eye and into my skull

i hate food

[Rant/Rave] i feel like this is an unpopular opinion but i really liked β€˜to the bone’
Created: Sat Aug 5 03:58:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rqzp6/i_feel_like_this_is_an_unpopular_opinion_but_i/
not much on my mind but i was looking through the discussion thread for it and saw a bunch of people didn’t like it which was surprising to me

[Rant/Rave] So I was horribly craving a chicken pot pie tonight.
/u/attenuatingpixie [5'7 | CW 125 | GW 115 | 25F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 03:50:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rqys4/so_i_was_horribly_craving_a_chicken_pot_pie/
But I resisted buying one of those frozen ones at the store. (It was 500 or 600 calories per itty bitty pie, what the fuck???)

Anyway, so then I was browsing Netflix and decided to stop rewatching the same shows on repeat and watch one of the movies I have in my queue. I settled on "Heathers," which I've never seen (and now hate myself for because holy shit it's fantastic.)

So there's a scene mentioning bulimia and they say something about seeing today's lunch again (don't remember the wording, not gonna rewind it) and it immediately cuts to chicken pot pie slop that looks like puke and then the camera zooms out to show that it's actually someone scraping leftovers into the trash.

Still lost my appetite.


Cracking up because of course fucked up ED brains sometimes laugh at ED humor, right? This was one of those times. Also the irony.

[Help] Please help me calculate the calories in this ground beef!!
/u/kzxwy [5' 6" | CW: 134.8 | HW: 145.0 | GW: 115.0 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 02:09:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rqnwa/please_help_me_calculate_the_calories_in_this/
Hey everyone, I'm preparing some ground beef and don't know how to calculate the calories. All it says on the package is "US Beef Ground top sirloin". I was thinking of weighing it raw and logging it as 93% lean raw ground beef (it doesn't say the fat percentage on the package so this is an estimate). Does this seem right? Would it be better to weigh it cooked?

Thanks guys

[Goal] One month without alcohol
/u/mildolconf [5'9" | 134.2 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 02:08:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rqnr0/one_month_without_alcohol/
I've been drinking SO OFTEN lately & used to drink maybe once a month. I need to stop because of all the cals, plus drunk food, plus it's not a good habit for me (addictive personality/history of alcoholism in the family). Anyway, trying to make one month a goal. In the past this would have been so easy and hardly noticeable, now I'm genuinely going to have to avoid it. Anyone else need to avoid alcohol?

[Rant/Rave] I'll keep a kitten healthy before myself
/u/Dr0pDex [172cm | 45.3kg | 15.04]
Created: Sat Aug 5 00:30:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rqbts/ill_keep_a_kitten_healthy_before_myself/
I was going through my Reddit upvotes and saw multiple posts about sad, emaciated, abandoned kittens being nurtured back to health that of course made the front page and made me immediately upvote.

Funny thought came to my head that I'm sure someone else can relate to. Would I help an underweight kitten to gain weight/health? Absolutely.

Would I help myself? ...Nah.

Helps that cats don't typically don't have gender dysorphia, an eating disorder, or a lack of direction/general problems in their life that they use control to nurture.

Guess that's kinda stupid. Part of me says the kitten probably matters more then I do lmao

[Tip] Tip - For UK folk, Wetherspoons has alcohol cals on their menus
/u/fuckthislol [173cm|skinny|low 15's BMI|F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 00:15:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rq9xx/tip_for_uk_folk_wetherspoons_has_alcohol_cals_on/
Unfortunately not the calories in cocktails which is annoying af, but it has the cals listed for the different shots and shit, I'm not sure about like beers and ciders and wines though, cause I didn't look at those.
But yeah so you can see like which gin or rum shots have exactly how many cals, which was actually a nice surprise cause meant I could drink like double gins + diet tonics and know I was getting drunk for under ~130 cals Woooo!

[Help] bloating/food weight is killing me
/u/ci-fre [5'1" | 83-84 lb | ~16.5 new BMI | F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 00:03:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rq8e3/bloatingfood_weight_is_killing_me/
Ugh. I don't know if this happens to other people but anyway, I tend to gain weight due to the types of foods I eat. It goes down if I eat other foods at the same level of calories, so it isn't real weight, but it makes my stomach look so large and I hate it. It's not just after eating either, it persists for the whole day. Anyone else know what to do for this problem?

Some of my favorite low-calorie foods are causing this problem for me so it's a big deal -_-;;

[Tip] PSA: Halo Top on Cartwheel expires tomorrow!
Created: Fri Aug 4 23:08:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rq0bv/psa_halo_top_on_cartwheel_expires_tomorrow/

[Help] What the hell is the difference??
/u/squishysponges [18F|5'5"|GW 110]
Created: Fri Aug 4 22:53:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rpxv7/what_the_hell_is_the_difference/

[Humor] Possible Male ED Representation? I'm Not the Only One That Sees it, Right? [xpost r/comics]
Created: Fri Aug 4 22:16:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rps1j/possible_male_ed_representation_im_not_the_only/

[Rant/Rave] Bf commented on my food
Created: Fri Aug 4 22:13:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rprhb/bf_commented_on_my_food/
My boyfriend thought it was funny to make a comment about the amount of sodium in my food hahaha yeah it's really funny so funny that I threw my dinner and my drink away and am hiding in the bathroom chugging water before I go to bed so I'm not hungry hahaha so fucking funny

[Rant/Rave] Being naturally curvy...
/u/dahee3697 [5'1.5" | CW: 120 | GW: 100 | F | 19]
Created: Fri Aug 4 21:42:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rpmft/being_naturally_curvy/
I have the typical curvier body type and a big butt (in a good way?). Sometimes it is good and I feel happy with my body. My boyfriend likes my body and my family always says I have a sexy body and if I lose weight I will look like a twig and I will lose my nice features. However, I used to be bullied a lot at school when I was younger and called fat because of my body type and it just made me so insecure about how I look. I am just so torn between the beauty standards of my ethnic culture and of American culture. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I think I look good! But increasingly, I find myself hating my body more and more. I've lost 30 lbs in the past year and everyone says I look amazing but all I can think about is the jiggle on my arms and how my thighs are too thick and how I wish I had a thigh gap and a flat stomach.

[Discussion] Symptoms of your ED?
/u/WhattheNorris [5'2 | -19 | β€’α΄—β€’]
Created: Fri Aug 4 21:24:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rpjj6/symptoms_of_your_ed/
Do you guys have dry skin? Brittle, peeling nails? Burned throats?

How fast/slow did they come on? Did some symptoms arrive early and some late?

My skin seems to be getting dry about a month into my latest bout of heavy restriction, and I'm worried for my hair.

Also tips to help are very welcome! I'm thinking about adding omega 3's?

Anyone from Massachusetts?
Created: Fri Aug 4 21:19:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rpiry/anyone_from_massachusetts/

[Help] My parents Want me to be anorexic
Created: Fri Aug 4 21:16:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rpiak/my_parents_want_me_to_be_anorexic/

[Rant/Rave] Ramble/rant because no one else gets it
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 21:12:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rphkf/ramblerant_because_no_one_else_gets_it/
and bc I don't have therapy until Thursday >n>

To preface, I'm in an odd situation right now financially - in short, I'm on disability income, but I live with my parents in an upper-middle-class neighborhood, but I have to pay for everything besides rent, utilities, and car insurance with less than $500 a month.

That being said, I'm trying to budget food (and everything else, but food is the hardest thing for me to budget), and I feel like a child because I am having to use Yugioh cards (yes, the trading card game from the late 90's, which is still popular among nerds) to motivate myself into learning how to spend less on food.

Basically, this month I'm putting everything I save on food toward buying Yugioh cards. And, in typical ED fashion, my grocery list is convoluted and specific. The goals are to be able to afford Yugioh cards and to be able to keep up my budgeting after this month.

I just feel so immature and undeveloped and so behind for being 25 years old. Why is this so hard for me? Why can't I just spend less on food? Why do I need fucking trading cards to motivate me to learn how to be an adult?

[Rant/Rave] Worthless
Created: Fri Aug 4 21:04:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rpg5v/worthless/

[Rant/Rave] ED Almost Discovered (again): Restaurant Edition
/u/DisguisedAsMe [5'3" | 115 lbs | BMI: 20.93| -13.7 | 21F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 21:03:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rpfub/ed_almost_discovered_again_restaurant_edition/
So, my fam went to dinner today at this restaurant on a dock, with half of the tables inside and half outside. I ordered a salad and had to order an entree...which I caved and ordered pasta (my weakness). So everything is fine as I pass off my salad as being inedible from too much dressing and had like two bites Then the pasta comes out and, you guessed it, I binged like I had never eaten pasta in my fucking life lol.

Since I then felt like a whale I decided to purge since at the restroom inside (there was another outside) it was a single stall. So I go in, purge fast af, flush the toilet, wash my hands, and get back to dinner and everything seems fine. Nobody suspects a thing!

Then all of a sudden I hear the waitress say they need help in the girls bathroom ASAP. Like literally yelling across the restaurant...and she looked at me. My father and brother start laughing so hard because they knew I just got back from the bathroom and I almost started freaking out because I was afraid I clogged the toilet or something and our waitress saw me walk in. A minute later the waitress said something about cleaning up the throw up....there was a pause and I felt so much anxiety, but then she clarifies in the bathroom stalls outside and they rush outside to clean up the other bathroom. Thank God. Seriously. That was too close for comfort...

[Rant/Rave] Holy shit I just consumed 1000 calories of wine
/u/gettingagrip4 [5'3" | Baby Hippo | 22 | -60 | 31F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 20:41:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rpc20/holy_shit_i_just_consumed_1000_calories_of_wine/
Fucking wine. It tastes so good and goes down like water. Turns out drinking a magnum bottle to my face means I'll have to fast for the weekend.

[Humor] The best type of friend to have.
Created: Fri Aug 4 20:38:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rpbd3/the_best_type_of_friend_to_have/

[Discussion] Anyone know of any low cal wine/beer?
Created: Fri Aug 4 19:54:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rp3xn/anyone_know_of_any_low_cal_winebeer/
So I drink a bit, since I turned 21 I've noticed I've been gaining weight despite restricting my food intake. I feel like it's from wine and beer...
Anyone know of any low calorie versions of beer or wine ? My friends told me to just switch to hard liquor but I don't like the buzz from it compared to the kind produced by wine or beer...

Thanks so much !
You are all beautiful.

[Other] Farewell, Halo Top...
Created: Fri Aug 4 19:30:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rozng/farewell_halo_top/
I'm having my last pint this weekend - chocolate chip cookie dough - and then we shall part ways forever.

Going back to strict keto. Even the tiniest amount of sugar makes me retain water horribly and I must be at my GW within a month.

I'll spend tomorrow planning my boring meals, since any variety seems to activate binge-mode.

[Rant/Rave] New low point for me
/u/pershon17707 [5' 6'' | 97 lbs |Female]
Created: Fri Aug 4 19:21:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6roxyq/new_low_point_for_me/
It's hard for me to type this. But I basically had my worst purging session so far. I b/p 3 times within 2 hours. The last time was puking in the shower with my fucking mother on the other side of the wall. I hate myself. The only fucked up bright side is that I pretty much emptied my stomach completely and ended up a pound lighter than when I woke up this morning. I feel so crappy so I reasoned I could use the electrolytes in a Gatorade (80) plus I have to work 9 hours tomorrow :(

[Rant/Rave] When you're drunk
/u/heartbrokenandok [5'7"-ish | 189 | 29-ish | -32.8| F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 19:01:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rou69/when_youre_drunk/
And you want another drink, but you didn't even budget for the first drink.

And now you can't have halo top because you had a gin martini. And you just want a gin and tonic, but how many calories does the tonic add? Because you're pretty sure the bar doesn't have diet tonic. Because when they drink cocktails they aren't concerned with the exact calorie count of the drink. Because normal people don't worry about that.

And you wish it was possible to be both normal and thin. But that's impossible......

[Rant/Rave] Today was the best day ever
/u/AnaWahad [174 cm | CW 75 | HW 100kg | GW 54kg | F | πŸ‘ Kelkein]
Created: Fri Aug 4 18:30:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6roo5m/today_was_the_best_day_ever/
It's been a while since I've been this happy, I can't believe it.

First of all, I stopped a binge today. And this is *huge* to me. I've literally never been able to stop mid-binge before. I did eat more than I was planning. But I could've had *way* more, and knowing that I chose not to makes me believe in my willpower again. That's honestly all I've needed to get out of this binge cycle.

Second, I discovered today that I wasn't 169cm (5'6") but, in fact, 174cm (5'8"). Not only is it cool to be tall, but my BMI is actually lower and it just makes me so happy. That was a welcome surprise, that's for sure.

Also my two favorite characters in a show are developing a friendship and that's really neat.

Anyways, just wanted to share my day with you guys, and I hope you had a good one too! :)

[Rant/Rave] Thinspo irl
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 17:57:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rohsb/thinspo_irl/
I'm at this event in an arts district and I tried to look cute in a flowy backless dress and I was already feeling kind of fat from a mid-day 1800 cal binge (tried to purge a few hours later, didn't work) and then I got vegan BBQ at the event thing and am seeing all these super skinny hipster girls while stuffing my face. I saw this girl who is pretty much my dream, super skinny black pants (thigh gap obviously), converse, old ratty tie dye shirt (way too big even though it's like the smallest size available), burnt out looking hair (think Courtney love), big sunglasses, a cigarette, and most of all, an I don't give a fuck vibe. My ideal person, and I'm just here stuffing my face. And so many girls just like her. Fuck me better drink

[Discussion] Wedding dress drama
/u/Peggyofthehilll [5'8"| 140 | 19% | GW:120]
Created: Fri Aug 4 17:32:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6roczk/wedding_dress_drama/
I feel as though this past year it has come and gone in waves, I've been happy and less restrictive but in turn as my day creeps closer I'm surrounded by 360 mirrors and people poking and tightening dresses :( and I finally picked one out and I have been having severe anxiety over the fact that someone it'll be too small on the day off. I'd like to maintain but don't know how to tread the path. Any other brides stressed out there? How are y'all keeping it together πŸ™ƒ

[Discussion] Do you think recovery is possible without professional help?
Created: Fri Aug 4 17:30:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rochu/do_you_think_recovery_is_possible_without/

[Intro] finally breaking 7 years bingeing, 1st post
Created: Fri Aug 4 16:40:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ro2ii/finally_breaking_7_years_bingeing_1st_post/
hey everyone. i just discovered this group a few days ago and i had been putting this on hold for a while, so this sub gave me the final push. :)

basically, six years ago i was extremely overweight, like 2 pounds away from obesity basically. i started dieting which spiraled into extreme exercise and restriction, and i soon had almost gotten to my UGW.

then i started going through a lot of rough shit in life and i turned to bingeing. for the past five years i've been in on/off phases of bingeing and normal eating (usually unhealthy overeating) and i've gained a lot of weight back, i dont even wanna say how much, but like clinically overweight again.

i've tried doing proper diets but always ends with me bingeing bc i have an extremely addictive personality, so i though the only way to stop it is to start restricting again, especially since stopping restriction is what triggered this super long binge period.

i am really optimistic and hopeful. my disgust with myself had contributed terribly to my anxiety and depression, and i believe if i can manage to lost weight it will take a huge mental strain off. hope i will be a success story for you guys :)

and if anyone wants to talk or anything, my PMs are always open <3

[Rant/Rave] Doctor visit gone wrong
/u/BlackHairedBloodElf [❀ 5' 2" πŸ’› CW: 97.6 πŸ’š GW: 99 πŸ’™ 17.9 πŸ’œ F ❀]
Created: Fri Aug 4 16:30:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ro0e9/doctor_visit_gone_wrong/
Finally go to the doc after 10 years because of severe stomach pain. I have been waiting here over 4 hours and politely asked when my turn was at the 4 hour mark. I have no way of knowing if this is normal.

Hunger pangs getting real. Can someone sneak me a Quest bar? Thanks.

[Help] Best way/device to determine calories burned during workout?
Created: Fri Aug 4 16:11:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rnwmq/best_waydevice_to_determine_calories_burned/
I need to start keeping track of the calories I burn while working out. MFP gives me a good idea but with things like swimming, hiking, or Fitness Blender workouts, I need more guidance to make sure I'm hitting my deficit.

I'd love any suggestions.

[Thinspo] If I don't look like this in two years let my family and friends know I failed myself
Created: Fri Aug 4 15:48:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rnrf9/if_i_dont_look_like_this_in_two_years_let_my/

[Other] Holy shit I get my period...
/u/FastPhoria [5'10 | 126 | 18.1 / 17.6 | GW: 119 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 15:44:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rnqix/holy_shit_i_get_my_period/
.... after it being AWOL for months. I have lost about five pounds in the last couple of weeks and roughly doubled my exercise, so this leads me to question:


Holy shit I got my period...
Created: Fri Aug 4 15:43:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rnq8p/holy_shit_i_got_my_period/

[Rant/Rave] Done with this Recovery Bullshit
Created: Fri Aug 4 15:14:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rnjwi/done_with_this_recovery_bullshit/
I finally reordered the scale my ex took when he found out. I just reordered a fitbit bc omg I am done. I am stuvk in this pseudo-recovery place where I just seem to justify binge after binge. I have gained back 75 pounds and I am sick of this. I need this weight off now, and now there isn't anyone to stop me.

[Other] Two different people
/u/Glazed9000 [5'7' | 113 | 17.7 ]
Created: Fri Aug 4 14:59:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rngnr/two_different_people/
When I'm restricting, I feel light, comfortable, and happy. I weigh less, waist is smaller, skin is better, etc. I enjoy going out with friends and spending time with my family.

When I'm in a binge cycle, I feel fucking sick and bloated. Hunched over in pain, unable to concentrate, and sleeping to ease the discomfort. I don't want to see anyone.

I'm currently stuck in a binge cycle and I keep telling myself that tomorrow it is going to end. But it doesn't, the urge keeps coming back and I keep giving into it...

[Discussion] Best/Worst of Restaurants
/u/starpocalypse [4'10 | justfat | UGW: 70 | πŸ‘: starpocalypse]
Created: Fri Aug 4 14:59:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rngjv/bestworst_of_restaurants/
Saw this in FPS and wanted to post here, because all of us lovely people combined are essentially a walking encyclopedia of restaurant meals and calorie counts.

I'll start with my go-to:

* **Cracker Barrel**

Best- catfish fillets (130 per fillet of spicy grilled). I usually add 10-20 each for oil. For dessert, really the only thing is the fruit cobbler split between two people (roughly 250 per person).

Worst: Man this is hard. Any of the super fried and breaded stuff like chicken fried steak meals. The worst desserts are definitely the s'mores or coca cola cake (~~but you can't stop me from my one true love~~)

* **Sonic**
Best: Mini mozzarella sticks (180 for 2, but filling) and Diet Cherry Limeade (25 for a large)

Alternatively this could also be the worst? Especially if you get a ton of mozzarella sticks. The worst drink for me is a lemonade (I also love it with blackberry, ugh) because a large is >500cals, and it sounds healthy but it isn't.

[Help] Please help me not binge right now
/u/cry1000x [5'5" | 131 lbs | 22 BMI | F | Vegan 🌿 ]
Created: Fri Aug 4 14:56:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rnfxr/please_help_me_not_binge_right_now/
Having one of those "well your plans got messed up might as well say fuck it to the entire day" mentalities. Been sobbing all morning because my dad didn't leave the house like he was supposed to so I could do my home workout. Then my bf schedules an appt for his car last second so I have to stay home with our dog instead of go to the gym for cardio. And I'm so fucking hungry. And now I have to be alone in our home for the next few hours. And no I absolutely cannot eat just a little something it will unleash the beast plus I'm trying to work off all the weight I gained after 13 days straight of binging (and no I'm not talking I ate 700 cals over, closer to 5k. As shameful as that is). Just please help me. Anything.

I'm currently drinking a Monster Zero and have a diet Dr. Pepper in the fridge. I'm just so scared of what I'll do if I even open the fridge. Help.

[Discussion] What's the average age of ED sufferers on Reddit?
/u/LadyCatTree [5"3 | 121 | BMI: 21 | No Goal | 30F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 14:55:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rnfv7/whats_the_average_age_of_ed_sufferers_on_reddit/
I'm curious because I'm a 30 year old woman, and I've tried joining discussion forums around eating disorders but felt very out of place because the majority of posters seemed to be teenage or early twenties girls. It made me feel awkward, like I was old enough to be a parent to some of them and either they wouldn't be interested in my experience, or I wouldn't be able to relate to theirs.

I'm just interested to know if there are other people my age or older out there, going through the same thing. I'm on the cusp of a relapse right now and it'd be nice to hear about other people in the same boat, balancing a career and a relationship and a shit ton of other responsibilities, with feeling like.... this.

[Rant/Rave] I'm sad and I hate myself
Created: Fri Aug 4 14:52:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rnf5t/im_sad_and_i_hate_myself/
I had feelings for this guy, and he liked me, too. He was my best friend, and also an online friend. But because I was insecure, and also other circumstances, I stopped talking to him. Over the past 3 months, we've been slowly deleting each other off of stuff that could keep us in contact, mostly him. In the back of my mind, I knew not talking to him was the right thing to do.. but I couldn't help but keep hope that everything would get better and we could start talking again like in the past. Today, he deleted me off the very last thing that connected us, so it's completely over. I'm just so crushed and sad that I lost him. I don't have anywhere else to post this, I'm sorry

[Goal] Starting a 7 day liquid fast!
Created: Fri Aug 4 14:21:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rn81w/starting_a_7_day_liquid_fast/

[Rant/Rave] New Low: CSing addition
/u/swagcat9000 [5'5" | 131 lbs | 21.8 | -37 | M |]
Created: Fri Aug 4 13:45:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rmzbt/new_low_csing_addition/
(rant/rave flair)
I feel so disgusting... I chewed up fruit snacks and pretended to sip coffee, I was really spitting them into my coffee cup. In a hotel room full of teenage girls!! I decided grabbing a pack and heading to the bathroom would be too suspicious so I did this instead... I hate myself lmao πŸ˜‚

[Rant/Rave] Just took body check pics and want to throw up
/u/squishysponges [18F|5'5"|GW 110]
Created: Fri Aug 4 13:08:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rmq7w/just_took_body_check_pics_and_want_to_throw_up/
I was looking at the sticky thread for body check/selfies and everyone is so gorgeous and literally perfect. I just took a body check pic and want to KMS!!!! Plus the breakfast burrito my mom made me was literally 510 calories. Guess who's not eating the rest of the day!!!!! Sigh.

[Discussion] DAE try on younger siblings clothes
Created: Fri Aug 4 13:05:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rmpg3/dae_try_on_younger_siblings_clothes/

[Thinspo] Dear god just the thought of wearing this stresses me out [thinspo]
/u/am_i_the_grasshole [5'8 | CW:122 | 18.4 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 12:45:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rmkf5/dear_god_just_the_thought_of_wearing_this/

[Goal] 40lbs down, 40 more to go
/u/kaylastiel [5'6 | CW: 140 | BMI: 22.6 | -40lbs | F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 12:31:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rmh30/40lbs_down_40_more_to_go/

[Help] πŸ™ƒπŸ™ƒ Everything is Fine πŸ™ƒπŸ™ƒ
Created: Fri Aug 4 12:06:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rmaz5/everything_is_fine/

[Humor] A poem dedicated to grapefruit
/u/iceboxxxxx [5'5.75" | CW: 129 | GW: 113 | 20.9]
Created: Fri Aug 4 12:05:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rmarm/a_poem_dedicated_to_grapefruit/

[Other] Here Are Some Of The Unhealthiest Chain Restaurant Meals In The US
/u/amberinthewoods [5'2.5" | 119.2 lbs | 29F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 12:02:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rma0u/here_are_some_of_the_unhealthiest_chain/
A solid 90% of the time, I try not to ~project~ my ED onto other people and their food choices... but then I read something like this and I realize, honestly, I'm not that far off the mark on my food paranoia.
(It's literally just a list of horrible food combos actually sold at real restaurants, and their nutrition facts. It's horrifying.)

[Rant/Rave] Lost pounds Not inches
Created: Fri Aug 4 11:04:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rlv9e/lost_pounds_not_inches/
My scale has consistently showed that I weigh 123 now for a week and I used to weigh 129. And I look thinner in the mirror, however my measuring tape still shows that I'm the same in inches as before the weight loss.

It's frustrating because I've been restricting (not super heavily, but enough to be proud of myself) and I feel better but I still can't fit into my smaller clothes!

I'm just confused how I've lost weight but not inches at all. And it makes me question my scale and my eyes lol. Am I actually fatter than I thought and not realize it? Maybe I'm expecting to much from this little weight loss.

[Humor] When you have an appointment with the nutritionist and you need to gain weight
/u/ambiguouslyreal [5'2.5"| 100.4 | 18.64 | -32lb | F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 10:59:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rlu1t/when_you_have_an_appointment_with_the/

[Other] Song that I associate with my ED. I think it's supposed to be about a boy, but all I hear in the lyrics is about my disordered eating. Give it a listen if you're a hipster POS like me.
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 117.4 | UGW: 102lbs]
Created: Fri Aug 4 10:49:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rlri0/song_that_i_associate_with_my_ed_i_think_its/

[Thinspo] Tall girl thinspo! 5'10" and 135 lbs (my UGW)
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" β˜€οΈ attempting recovery β˜€οΈ πŸ‘ tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Fri Aug 4 10:44:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rlq5g/tall_girl_thinspo_510_and_135_lbs_my_ugw/

[Goal] Ah! It finally happened! I'm going to celebrate...
/u/PerfctBodyPerfctSoul [5'11" | CW: 135 | BMI:18.2 | LW: 112 | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 10:28:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rllwc/ah_it_finally_happened_im_going_to_celebrate/
...by continuing to fast, lol.

Woke up to 135.4 on the scale, baby! That was my current short term goal, so I'm pretty damn pleased. I still look like shit, but happy to finally see some progress again.

[Discussion] immune system/side effects of eds
/u/nchlaz [5'11 | 137 | 18.5 | -70 | M]
Created: Fri Aug 4 10:24:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rll19/immune_systemside_effects_of_eds/
yall...... my immune system is fucked up.

i dont have lenugo or osteoporosis or anything from all my years of my ed but fuck. im sure my body hates me with how often i get it sick. i recovered for 6 months this year and didnt get sick once. ive been restricting (200-600) for two weeks and ive been sick for 8 days straight even with dayquil and nyquil. i feel awful but its still not enough to make me stop. i hate my life and im so scared itll only get worse like ill get a runny nose one day and just die because i wont have anything to fight it off with.

do you guys have any damage done to you from your ed?

[Help] Can I Get Some Advice?
/u/imemilyaurzella [5'5" | 122.6 | 20.4 BMI | GW: 110]
Created: Fri Aug 4 09:49:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rlc71/can_i_get_some_advice/

[Help] I just posted something but it disappeared?
Created: Fri Aug 4 09:42:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rlafa/i_just_posted_something_but_it_disappeared/

[Intro] just a boring intro
Created: Fri Aug 4 09:40:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rla0o/just_a_boring_intro/

[Other] NSFW - Intimate grooming to enhance body shape
Created: Fri Aug 4 09:39:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rl9vp/nsfw_intimate_grooming_to_enhance_body_shape/
Has anyone ever tried this? Normally I go bare, but I'd like to grow it out a a bit and trying to figure out which shape (triangle, reverse triangle, landing strip) would both make my waist look smaller and enhance my small thigh gap (goal: thigh gap one could drive a truck through πŸ˜‚) but maybe make my outer hips look curvier so my waist looks less boxy.

Any ideas?

[Grooming styles](http://immodell.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Different-Pubic-Hairstyles-easy-hairstyling-jYOi.jpg)

[Discussion] [Thinspo/Discussion] Who's your short girl thinspo?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 09:19:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rl4wc/thinspodiscussion_whos_your_short_girl_thinspo/
I keep finding myself obsessed with girls who are at least three inches taller than I am, so their look isn't achievable for me and it makes me so sad. So who are your favorite petite thinspos (under 5'4)? Bonus points if they're pear shaped. My favorites right now are Lily Rose Depp and Natalia Dyer.

[Help] I'm starving myself to die - nothing else
Created: Fri Aug 4 08:29:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rktke/im_starving_myself_to_die_nothing_else/

[Rant/Rave] Sometimes I love water weight...
Created: Fri Aug 4 08:17:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rkqyj/sometimes_i_love_water_weight/
Last week was a terrible week for me, I plateaued literally 1 pound away from my GW. I was stuck for like 2 days, even with doing miles on the elliptical and staying at under 500 calories a day. Friday after getting into a terrible argument with my husband, I decided to have a few drinks, and of course that led me to binging...and then THAT binge episode led me to binge (and drink) for the ENTIRE weekend (and Monday)...UGH!

I was so upset and scared when I finally had the courage to weigh myself on Tuesday. I stood on the scale, looked down and.. I had FREAKING GAINED LIKE 14 POUNDS!!! Now I know that's impossible, but still...It made me realize how stupid it was of me to be upset about being stuck at that 1 pound for 2 days.

Thankfully, after a few BM's (I know, gross) and going hard on the elliptical and staying under 400 calories I am back to only 3 pounds away from my GW.

Yes it's still a bit more weight than I wanted, but my god when I saw that 14 pound jump I cried so hard...So many, so much hard work, and discipline down the drain because I had LOST CONTROL over 1 pound. If I had just waited at least 1 more day I would have prob hit my GW... and thank god I only gained water weight, because it's so easy to take it off...

I hope you all have a Lovely Binge free, Purge free Friday <3

TL;DR: Don't lose control when you plateau, or when your idiot husband (or wife) decides to stress you out and argue with you.

[Tip] Best ranch dressing in the world no calories/fat/sugar/carbs and it's delicious ❀️
Created: Fri Aug 4 08:10:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rkpi1/best_ranch_dressing_in_the_world_no/

[Other] Tasty Garlic Fried Chicken Wings
Created: Fri Aug 4 08:07:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rkonr/tasty_garlic_fried_chicken_wings/

[Goal] Stopping purging...wake up call
/u/Newbeginningtake2 [5'2" | 83 | 15.79 | 52lbs | Female]
Created: Fri Aug 4 07:46:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rkk9z/stopping_purgingwake_up_call/

[Rant/Rave] "I don't think so." "I don't think so." "I don't think so." "I don't think so."
Created: Fri Aug 4 07:43:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rkjnu/i_dont_think_so_i_dont_think_so_i_dont_think_so_i/

[Rant/Rave] Nobody's ever believed me
/u/tarantulahospital [5'7 | -25lb | F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 07:42:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rkjiz/nobodys_ever_believed_me/
I wish the "feeling like an imposter" part of eds didn't exist. I mean I wish they didn't exist at all but god.
Nobody has ever believed me. Even my best friend doesn't believe I have a full on ed. My therapist told me the money my family wastes replacing the food I binge on, the times I've fought with them and the times I've felt like death purging and being scared to leave the house because of other people being turned away based on my appearance basically was no big deal and I'm just gonna grow out of it!
Sorry for that run on sentence. But yeah, it sucks.

[Intro] I never introduced myself?ΒΏ
/u/napalmlife_ [5'6" | 104 | 16.78 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 07:24:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rkfva/i_never_introduced_myself/
Hey everyone! My name is Aura and I have an eating disorder.
Seriously though, you guys are the only ones who understand. I am SOSOSO glad I stumbled across this sub.
So a bit about me??? I'm a 20-year-old college student from the US who loves art, writing, and film. I have had my ED in full flare for about a year now? I feel like mine started strangely. I have always been underweight. I maintained the same weight throughout my first year of college but last year I had an emotional breakdown (something something I ended up in the hospital) and gained 13 lbs...I was consistently around 103 lbs for years until this. When I realized this, I spiraled down into a deeper depression and started starving myself. Now I just can't fucking stop. I get a rush from restricting and seeing any real change on the scale. I never seem to be satisfied with my weight and idek what my goal weight is right now. I weighed myself this morning and I am 103.5 lbs at 5'6".
Well anyway, that was super long winded. It would be nice to get to know you guys!

(I still have to add my personal flair but I'm on mobile soooo I'll get to it later)

[Rant/Rave] Starving in hopes for a change???
Created: Fri Aug 4 06:43:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rk7pi/starving_in_hopes_for_a_change/
So growing up I was a loner and sort of awkward and nerdy,different, and artsy. I grew up in a time where that was a bad thing not like today how being a nerd is awesome, back then I was picked on or basically ignored by people. I started eating less and less and fell into an ed because of loneliness,depression,past sexual abuse, trans issues (im male to female), and trying to get attention from someone like a cry for help, But Instead started getting compliments about my weight and people were actually getting a bit jealous and I got addicted to the attention. It fed my ED even more. I let myself go for a bit and gained weight and the same stuff happened I was ignored or picked on. The thing is I would see the other people hooking up going to parties and having awesome lives and I wanted that life so bad I feel like I wasted my life and now I'm still kinda young enough to want to try to attain this life. I want the attention and the attraction, I want to hook up and to date after years of being ignored and lonely I know it's sounds pretty messed up but I don't know it's fueling my ED. I know pathetic right? I live in a city where its hipster af and i found a place where i fit in finnaly and i see the skinny hipster girls with awesome social lives being nerdy and different and at the same time having awesome social lives
It's fueling my need to starve myself again hoping it will give me that attention I seek and people will finally want to be around me and maybe finally have romantic and sexual relationships even if it's based off of looks god I'm shitty. Is this pathetic???

[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! August 04, 2017
Created: Fri Aug 4 06:13:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rk27u/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread_august/
This is the weekly picture thread for August 04, 2017.

Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*

3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.

4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**


Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 04, 2017
Created: Fri Aug 4 06:13:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rk272/daily_food_diary_august_04_2017/
This is a daily food diary thread for August 04, 2017.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)

[Rant/Rave] Out to dinner with a friend
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 05:18:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rjsn8/out_to_dinner_with_a_friend/
Ate so much. Mousse. Cheesecake. I was so good all day. I'm so angry with myself.

I did my first successful fast
Created: Fri Aug 4 04:47:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rjnzv/i_did_my_first_successful_fast/

[Thinspo] Thinspiration 8.04
Created: Fri Aug 4 04:06:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rji6l/thinspiration_804/

[Discussion] What's your most recent fucked up ED moment?
/u/flightlesspotato [166cm | CW 57.7kg | UGW 48kg | 20F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 00:47:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rirhx/whats_your_most_recent_fucked_up_ed_moment/
You know those moments that made you go "holy shit this is fucked up".

For me it was this morning when I did my morning shift at my workplace. Each shift is just one person alone, so there wasn't anyone there to stop me when I spent the whole shift chewing and spitting snacks in the storeroom.

[Help] Visiting a friend; how do I stay on track?
Created: Fri Aug 4 00:19:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ring5/visiting_a_friend_how_do_i_stay_on_track/

[Rant/Rave] You guys.....
Created: Thu Aug 3 23:49:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6riixa/you_guys/
I SURVIVED MY BIRTHDAY!!!! I am on a 1400 calories a day ( anorexic in recovery) and I ate 1550 calories. That may seem like a lot to you guys, but I am known to over eat on special occasions. Like 2000+. I am also 88 pounds today (4'10 140 to 88 ) today, so I lost some weight I guess...😊😊😊 Happy birthday to meee!!! How was your day!!

[Rant/Rave] Frustrated I can't even eat free food now
/u/burgundyburning [5'8 | 51.6 kg/113.6 lb | BMI 17.04 | GW: 51 kg/112 lb]
Created: Thu Aug 3 23:38:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rihds/frustrated_i_cant_even_eat_free_food_now/
So we had pizza at work. This was free food, I wouldn't have to go get my lunch, and I could eat my lunch for dinner. I'd save some money, it's win win.

Before all of this, I could have had 3 slices mindlessly, maybe cram a fourth. How I stayed at 54/55 kg is beyond me, I ate disgusting amounts of food.

Now I get to stare and wonder if my intake will allow it. Mentally argue if that unplanned tea really will screw up my intake. Look around if there's a computer where the screen is not super obvious, and I can punch in "calories in one slice take out pizza". Wonder if I could burn off that *at most* 150 cal I'm seeing (hehehehe, nope, not even close in reality, 280).

I had one slice. Grease doesn't taste as good as I remember.

[Discussion] short girls
/u/smallest_madeline [F 5'1" | CW 98.8 | BMI 19.5 | HW 125 | LW 80| GW 85]
Created: Thu Aug 3 23:23:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rif45/short_girls/
I am really short and it's funny because I have a friend who is 5'7" and 110lbs which doesn't sound too skinny when she tells people but when I was 5'1" and 91lbs everyone freaked out!

I hate how much of a difference a pound or two makes though. :(

But I do use my "short"ness to say I have a tiny stomach/appetite. I also like that I don't really have to think about my size I cna just always order XXS or OO or whatever the smallest size a website has. Just wanted to discuss the woes of an eating disorder with other short people.

[Discussion] Pro-Ana pen pal
Created: Thu Aug 3 23:00:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ribc2/proana_pen_pal/

[Discussion] Do we really burn 61kcals/hour sitting?
/u/tacehtelle [5"6 | 121 | 19.61 :( | 5 lbs :( | Female]
Created: Thu Aug 3 22:56:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6riao4/do_we_really_burn_61kcalshour_sitting/
Because I was reading an article that says we do and honestly I don't believe it for a second. That would mean sitting for 12 hrs (me) would burn 732 calories???? What do you guys think. (Also to my fellow knitters out there you supposedly burn 102 kcals per hour you knit)

[Intro] new here, wanting to know how things work!
Created: Thu Aug 3 22:51:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ri9xa/new_here_wanting_to_know_how_things_work/
hi everyone! i've just found this thread and i really want to get back on track. backstory, i went from clinically obese to within 10lb of my GW, but a looot of bad shit happened in my life around the same time. unfortunately i started binging like crazy and then went back to normal eating and no exercise, so i'm pretty much back at the weight i started. i don't look at all obese realistically, but i'm definitely on the wrong side of 'thick'. i really wanna get back into restricting and exercising, and getting back to the weight i was.

so, how does this really work? are we allowed to make daily posts about food/general thoughts, or is there like a daily thread where we do that? also how do i add flair haha!

[Other] back after a terrible week
/u/burner40 [169 cm | CW: 119 | BMI: 18.9 | GW: 101 | NB]
Created: Thu Aug 3 22:45:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ri8xy/back_after_a_terrible_week/
for some reason my ED behaviors like... calmed down?? for a while and i was having 3 meals a day, the whole shebang. but then today I realized I missed my therapy appointment and now I really feel shitty about myself for wasting my lovely therapist's time, so back to restricting. i feel like it's the only thing that gives me some control over my life.

the irony is that i go to therapy to help treat my food issues πŸ˜‚ anyway i missed this sub. hope you guys are doing good, or at least as good as this freakshow we call life can possibly be

[Rant/Rave] After reading your stories, it finally happened to me!
/u/aceshighsays [5'2" | C: 110.2 | -27.8 | F | G: 99]
Created: Thu Aug 3 22:22:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ri55a/after_reading_your_stories_it_finally_happened_to/
I've been reading stories from various members regarding the funny things that strangers say to them about their looks and weight and it finally happened to me :) Ever since I started losing weight I've become very social. It's very unlike me, but meh why not do something different... Anyway, I was at a social event when I randomly started chit chatting with a girl and a guy next to me. The three of us were discussing our drinks, and the girl was very surprised to hear that it was my second glass of dark beer. She said that I was "just as skinny" as she was and she can only drink 1 light beer. She was pretty slender. I'm finally in the category where slender strangers tell me that I'm thin :)

In the meantime, I feel too flabby to call myself slender or thin. Being smaller just means that I'm skinny fat instead of fat fat. I really should start going to the gym, but I'm afraid that I will gain weight. That always happens to me when I start working out.

[Rant/Rave] Return of the binge!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 22:13:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ri3o7/return_of_the_binge/
Today I was going to fast until dinner tonight, because of last night's binge debacle. Well, around 10 am, I had a single tortilla chip. That was a mistake. I had some more tortilla chips, and mentioned I didn't have any lunch (or breakfast) and my coworkers were hounding me so I went to a gas station to get some fruit and a pickle. Should have stopped there. Instead, I went back in and got 3 donuts, which aren't even vegan. Then when I got back to work, I got a bag of chips. Then I went to dinner with my family and had a full size pad Thai. AND THEN I went to the gas station again and had 3 more donuts and some weird Oreos candy bar.

LOL 3500 calories total.

Tried to at least purge the donuts the second I got home and nothing but a little blob of jelly came out. πŸ™‚πŸ™ƒπŸ™‚πŸ™ƒπŸ™‚

kill me

[Rant/Rave] Something goes right, so of course I fuck something else up
Created: Thu Aug 3 21:23:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rhuiz/something_goes_right_so_of_course_i_fuck/
As a high restricter, I struggle to go lower, but today I was able to stay at 725 (net 324). Of course, that also meant I had an extra shitty "run" today. Fml, why does it have to be one or the other? 😑I feel so goddamn weak.

[Discussion] Does anyone else avoid sexual situations because of their body?
/u/Jtgonc [5'8 | CW : 166]
Created: Thu Aug 3 21:03:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rhqoi/does_anyone_else_avoid_sexual_situations_because/
Tg for this sub. So I've only had a few sexual encounters before (I've never gone 'all the way'), and they've all been random/drunken and a result of a college party, bar, etc. After every time though I panic over what the guy thought of my body. I know guys just want sex and don't reallyyy care in the moment what you look like while they're drunk, but I can't help thinking that's why we only hooked up one time or they didn't reach out to me after (I know that's irrational).

I'm going into my junior year of college and I've decided that I'm not gonna let myself be in any sexual situation with a guy until my body looks the way I want it to. The mediocre drunken hook up is just not worth the anxiety over my body that follows. I also figure that when my body looks good the guys that want to talk to me are generally better looking. Weird motivation to lose weight I know, but does anyone else think like this?

[Rant/Rave] [Rant/Rave] I wish I didn't waste years not being skinny
/u/Jtgonc [5'8 | CW : 166]
Created: Thu Aug 3 20:50:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rho2f/rantrave_i_wish_i_didnt_waste_years_not_being/
I know the title sounds fucked up, but I let myself stay unhappy for years by not being at the weight I wanted (I'm still not at my goal weight mind you). I went from being a skinny/average kid and preteen to having a BMI of 23.5 throughout high school (so the heavier end of the 'average' spectrum), and then a BMI of 29 from senior year of high school until the end of freshman year. Now I'm a 26.1 :/

I'm now having a lot of regret about high school and my past two years of college. If I had been at the weight I wanted since the beginning of high school, I would've been so much more confident. I would've been more outgoing, would've actually put myself out there with guys, I wouldn't be sad when looking at pics of me from the past 7 years, and so many little things would've been different. I know I'll be a lot of confident when I lose the weight, but it sucks knowing I could've been happier if I had just lost the damn weight

[Rant/Rave] How I got over binge cravings and now restrict easily
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" β˜€οΈ attempting recovery β˜€οΈ πŸ‘ tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Thu Aug 3 20:42:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rhmjx/how_i_got_over_binge_cravings_and_now_restrict/
I fasted for 18 hours and then felt so sick from hunger that I had two ricecakes and a banana (185 calories total) and then realized that me eating that little food now was way better than me bingeing later.

Now the past two days I have averaged at 400 calories a day. Last week I was eating 2500-4000 a day because of a bad binge cycle.

My cravings are almost completely gone. I have so much self control and will power knowing that I can do this and I can lose weight and I have the power to change my body.

One thing that helped so much was saying "sure I really want that cupcake now but when I reach my GW that will still exist and I can have it then and it'll feel even better then cause I'll be skinnier." Also I made a list of foods I am going to eat on my next binge day (September first) :)

[Discussion] Anyone else feel ~normal~ for a few days like "haha guess I don't have an ED" then go back to being your messed up disordered self?
Created: Thu Aug 3 20:34:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rhkxg/anyone_else_feel_normal_for_a_few_days_like_haha/

[Rant/Rave] Told someone I was binging?
/u/KatnipAndTuck [5'2 | 156 | - 5 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 20:14:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rhgyl/told_someone_i_was_binging/
Hey guys nice to see you again. Went through a period of recovery. Guess what didn't work. Also guess whose boyfriend who made her feel like recovery was worth it broke up with her. Me...

So I am doing keto and usually it's going really well except for when I drink the sweet sweet vodka... this idiot ate 3 caramel m&ms and was like "fuck it I'm out of ketosis anyway". Finished off the rest of the bag (20-30 more) and then went to the grocery store to buy a bag of chips and a wunderbar (fuuuuuuuck those are good). Anyway I was texting a friend while I was driving (no judgement it's a small town and back roads) and it came up that I was going somewhere and he asked why. I "jokingly" said because I wasn't in control of my life and that I was going to buy junk food. He said more power to you and I couldn't fucking let it go. Why couldn't I let it go? I said something along the lines of there's a more immediate way of purging (than sex for exercise) and now I totally regret it. It was meant to be like a joke. Now I'm sure he knowssssss and even if he doesn't he knows I went to get junk. Fuck not even my roommates know when I sneak out for binge food.

[Other] what I ate today
/u/kaylastiel [5'6 | CW: 140 | BMI: 22.6 | -40lbs | F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 19:45:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rhaz3/what_i_ate_today/

[Rant/Rave] This ED keeps me alive
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Thu Aug 3 19:35:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rh92v/this_ed_keeps_me_alive/
I have suicidal thoughts that play in the background, like white noise, always there. It was there before the ED, and I don't expect it to go away if I were to recover. I'm lonely, socially awkward and unable to enjoy things. I enjoy nature because I know it's beautiful and it's a different kind of quiet... but it doesn't make me happy. When I talk to friends, I struggle to focus. I don't know if I can love anyone, so how can anyone love me? And without love, what is the point of living?

But losing weight keeps me centered. It keeps me alive because I need to be alive to keep losing weight. It isn't dependent on others loving me. It isn't dependent on me being a decent or interesting person. It's just a math equation. It helps me get up in the morning. It keeps me alive.

My legs are tingling after 3 b/p today. I'm in so much emotional torment, but I can't die, because I have to lose weight.

I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but here I am, alive.

[Rant/Rave] I just want to wither away
Created: Thu Aug 3 19:32:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rh8di/i_just_want_to_wither_away/

[Discussion] Shout out to my fellow bulimics
/u/then_she_said [5'7 | -41 | 27F | UGW: 135]
Created: Thu Aug 3 19:25:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rh709/shout_out_to_my_fellow_bulimics/
I'm currently laying in bed reading different menus from local restaurants and planning my binge for Saturday when I'll have the house to myself. I'm thinking a rotisserie chicken plate with rice and beans from the little bodega next to the laundromat, a large container of beef lo mein from the shady-looking but super inexpensive Chinese buffet, and sides of creamed spinach and bacon jalapeno mac and cheese from the BBQ place. Then I'll purge as much as I can and probably feel really bad about myself and snuggle my cat and watch Moana and cry at the ending.

I *could* be really productive and paint the bathroom, or weed the garden, or go for a run, but who am I kidding?

I feel like I see way more representation of anorexia on this sub, and for sure I can relate to some posts but there are a lot that I just can't. So to my fellow bulimics (and anorexics, and BED's, and EDNOS, et al), what are your weekend plans?

[Discussion] [discussion] Breaking a fast with a binge?
/u/Sluttymangoes [5'3.75 (162 cm) | 116 lbs (52.6 kg)]
Created: Thu Aug 3 19:20:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rh5ue/discussion_breaking_a_fast_with_a_binge/
I'm talking a 3000 cal binge. A Thanksgiving dinner binge. Have you broken a 24-hour or 3-day fast with a binge? Did you survive? Is your butt okay? I want to hear your stories please.

[Rant/Rave] Home sick = bingeing like there's no tomorrow
/u/thinthinner-thinnest [183cm | 58.9kg | BMI (standard): 17.59 | 22F 🌱]
Created: Thu Aug 3 19:12:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rh4e1/home_sick_bingeing_like_theres_no_tomorrow/
I hurt my neck putting on my shirt this morning (fml y lord) so I'm at home sick. At first I was like fuck yeah gonna fast sO HARD TODAY and then I got bored and ate a bowl of oatmeal in an attempt at #health which inevitably lead to 3 tbsp peanut butter and some avocado toast and another bowl of oatmeal and I just made a huge bowl of pesto pasta and it's not even the afternoon yet so yep so it's goING REALLY WELL.

Just kind of thinking I might say fuck it and treat myself all day even tho I'll hate myself tomorrow like right now I ...care less than I normally would? But yeah I could really go some chips. Like if this day is ruined already I might as well right πŸ˜‚ Why do we all use this same logic?

[Discussion] [discussion] in response to ED coming in "waves"
/u/Sluttymangoes [5'3.75 (162 cm) | 116 lbs (52.6 kg)]
Created: Thu Aug 3 18:30:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rgvlf/discussion_in_response_to_ed_coming_in_waves/
There was a thread a few weeks ago asking about people's EDs and whether they experienced them in waves. I have been giving this a lot more thought lately. I don't have an addictive personality, but I do have a fixative personality. I can get majorly obsessed with certain things for months and months. Then after a while, the fire in me dies down. I remember a whole year and a half before I moved all I did was look at apartment layouts and Craigslist ads for apartments for hours on end. I budgeted for life in a new city. God it was embarrassing but I couldn't stop. My boyfriend catching me constantly looking at the same ads over and over on my phone. Then one day I stopped. Then it was on to the next thing, whatever it was. It's like this with ED too. Sometimes I have a wonderful relationship with food and I feel healthy and strong and like I love the progress I've made. Other times I obsess at the gym. More often now I am obsessing. At some point I'll stop, but who knows for how long. I don't know why I'm like this.

[Thinspo] Thinspo but also how I feel rn
/u/notworthausername [5'7" | 27F | 21.23 | CW: 136 | LW: 110 | GW: 115]
Created: Thu Aug 3 18:11:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rgqsx/thinspo_but_also_how_i_feel_rn/

[Thinspo] Thinspo but also how I feel rn 😭
Created: Thu Aug 3 18:10:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rgqhi/thinspo_but_also_how_i_feel_rn/

[Rant/Rave] I'm about to lose it.
Created: Thu Aug 3 18:00:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rgnch/im_about_to_lose_it/
One of my friends decided that for tbt it would be a great idea to post photos from when I was younger and like 175lbs (I'm 4'10). I want to vomit. I hate myself. And while I can see how far I've come it's like my mind has hopped into some sort of fucking time machine and it's like I'm right back in that body.

I hate this.
I hate me.

I never want to fucking eat again.

Michelle Carter is blaming anorexia and bulimia and using them as justification for murdering her boyfriend
Created: Thu Aug 3 17:32:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rgh1f/michelle_carter_is_blaming_anorexia_and_bulimia/

[Rant/Rave] I am such a failure
Created: Thu Aug 3 17:31:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rggvh/i_am_such_a_failure/
So for the past decade or so I've been skirting the line between "clinically disordered" and "subclinical". I usually "eat normally" at 900-1100 Cal day but have peaks of proper restriction down to 550-700 a day, for a few months at a time. At the end of last year I was restricting to 600 cal a day from August of last year to maybe Jan, and was at my lowest weight if 127 lbs. (I'm 5'10") And functioning quite actively, caring full time for my toddler nephew. Then in Feb I was "normal" but perscribed Ritalin which suppressed my appetite til I crashed, and experienced proper extreme hunger, and would end up caving. But it was only once a day. So from Feb to May I gained and hit 134. Ok deep breaths. In Late may/June was Ramadan, I took a drug holiday to fast cuz Ritalin makes you faint if you're not hydrated or at least kinda fed, and boy oh boy did I restrict. By the end of Ramadan I averaged 330 cal a day n was starting to lose. Got back down to 129. Then Eid n then studying and Ritalin again and I've been living w extended family and their thing is they only store a few snacks n they cook luch n dinner fresh n try not to have leftovers (cuz everyone is a picky eater n hates leftovers.) Since my studying schedule keeps me nocturnal, and idk not having control of my food this way? Plus the meds.... I started night bingeing... Not like proper binges but I guess binges if you have an Ana type 2 mindset..... I finally found the scale last week and I'm 139. I can't Begin to explain how distressed this has me like I fucking hate myself. I was so close to my UGW of 115 and now I'm 140 I'm a fat fat inept cow I can't study without a medication I can't sleep without a medication I can't get a job cuz I sucked at picking a career path n went into medicine so I'm surrounded by functional, fashionable, intelligence, EFFECTIVE people and when I try to be thin by being crazy I can't even do that either. I miss my ribs and I miss enjoying starving and how the hell do you gain 10 lbs in 3 weeks and it won't budge. I'm seriously this close to purging routinely again like I can't do this I want to rip all my fat off n flush it down the toilet who needs skin anyway we're all the same underneath. Failing that I just want to wire my jaw shut and cry and cry and cry and never stop crying.

I really just want to cry.

[Help] Need someone to talk to
Created: Thu Aug 3 16:41:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rg5ye/need_someone_to_talk_to/
I feel so alone even though I have a boyfriend and family. Like I have nobody that I can talk to about my ED and it sucks. Snapchat me if you wanna talk I guess? SC- sammied233
5'7" 150lb
GW 118lb
UGW 110lb

[Rant/Rave] Motivation clothes. Spent $50 on clothes that dont fit me
Created: Thu Aug 3 16:26:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rg2jh/motivation_clothes_spent_50_on_clothes_that_dont/
I had an Urban Planet gift card laying around for years and I finally decided to use it. I ordered a top, two body suits and a dress, all larges.

They don't fit.

I have no idea what my flair is because I never go on the desktop version anymore, but I'm 5'3 and 210 pounds. Very muscley, but still fat AF. I hate my body. But I took all the tags off purposely so I can't return them, to force me to lose weight for these clothes. I am in ED hell right now.


[Discussion] Can we have a thread where employees of popular restaurants/ food service answer questions and comment the best/ worst choices on the menu?
/u/FUCKuNSALTEDcROUTONS [5'6 |CW:156.8 | GW: 125 |F 18]
Created: Thu Aug 3 16:24:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rg1zr/can_we_have_a_thread_where_employees_of_popular/
For example, I work at Red Robin

Light lemonade: 5 cal a serving
Double tavern burger no bun no cheese extra veggies is around 350-400 cals and cheapest burger on the menu
All kids menu items are safe to me with a side of fruit

Almost all burgers
The chicken strips are around 1000 cal

The menu is huge so if you like RR ask any questions and I'll do my best to help you out!

[Rant/Rave] anybody else hate seeing regular people eat?
/u/wowowaka [5'2 | 139 > 112 > 100 (one can dream) | 17F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 16:16:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rfzzl/anybody_else_hate_seeing_regular_people_eat/
sorry if this comes off very cranky, i almost fainted so im v mad about having to eat in order to study but!!! sigh

maybe im just a weirdo but i cant stop being fascinated at how normal people eat without beating themselves over it or going through huge rituals to feel Safe eating and whatever other stupid bullshit i do.

watching skinny people eat is almost torture, though. im talking like bmi 17-19 girls who buy an ice cream cone, give most of it to their boyfriends then brag about how much sugar they eat. or girls who give away half their food because oh my god im just so full!!! even if its just a cup of fucking watermelon

meanwhile im sitting there, taking as long as humanly possible to eat my low fat greek yogurt, beating myself up because i added 2 tsps of nuts instead of 1 tsp (like it even makes a difference), looking down at my fat fucking thighs, wondering if the thigh gap i saw this morning is real or not because i dont know what my own body looks like anymore.

why do they get to be the way i want to be without even trying. why. why did i have to be born into an obese (+ abusive, because of course) family that never taught me good eating habits. and on top of that, get a bunch of health issues that make it harder to restrict as much as id like.

just my fucking luck, i guess :/

[Discussion] What is the silliest food you've ever panicked about?
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 15:15:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rfkbh/what_is_the_silliest_food_youve_ever_panicked/
A question inspired by the fact that my Starbucks stops brewing decaf Pike Place roast (5 calories) at 4:00, and I got there at 4:13, so I had to get a decaf Americano (25 calories) and the 20 extra calories *absolutely ruined my entire day*.

[Other] what I ate today
Created: Thu Aug 3 15:05:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rfhsw/what_i_ate_today/

[Other] There are only 70 calories a bag!!!
Created: Thu Aug 3 15:04:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rfhjp/there_are_only_70_calories_a_bag/

what I ate today (8/3)
Created: Thu Aug 3 15:02:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rfgyh/what_i_ate_today_83/

i need a friend :(
Created: Thu Aug 3 15:00:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rfgii/i_need_a_friend/

[Help] Anorexia to binge eating? I really need some help right now
/u/QuornLasagne [🌸 All aboard the binge train | choo choo 🌸]
Created: Thu Aug 3 14:57:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rffuy/anorexia_to_binge_eating_i_really_need_some_help/
During the past 6 months I've been severely limiting my calories to around <800 a day, along with exercising during the week. I managed to keep my restriction under control, with the occasional "binge" every few weeks (looking back now, none of my binges were true binges, just "normal eating"

My weight went from 57kg to 41kg (bmi 15.5) and it began getting harder and harder to lose and maintain control - I also moved in with my boyfriend during this time and felt extremely out of control around food because I wasn't the one doing the cooking (his family cooks) and my mealtimes completely changed.

Last week I just broke. I don't know how it happened or what triggered it but I experienced what its like to truly binge and I've been out of control since. It started with a bowl of cereal after dinner because I was still hungry, and then another one that I snuck up to my room to eat, then a secret peanut butter jelly sandwich along with crisps and chocolate. I told myself it's a one off and I'll get back on track tomorrow, but that didn't happen.

It's not small binges either, it's 5000 calories worth of junk food everyday until I feel sick and can't eat anymore. I'll eat and eat and all I'll think about is where I'm getting my next fix from and what I'm going to eat. Yesterdays binge consisted of 5,106 calories worth of pizza, muffins, doughnuts, chocolate bars, icecream, alcohol and sugary drinks. Today I ate a sandwich, cream cheese bagel, cream eclaire, sharing size malteasers, pop tart, crepe, carrot cake, ramen, peanut butter and jelly sandwich, crisps, and probably a bunch of other stuff I've forgotten.

I don't know where this post is going anymore but what I really want to know is, has anyone else experienced going from one extreme to the other while trying to attempt recovery? I tried eating normally but it's just flipped to the other side and I have no clue what to do anymore. My doctor has referred me to an ed specialist but the waiting list is so long and I have no one else to turn to. I'm so terrified of becoming overweight but I can't stop myself from eating. I feel so out of control right now

[Goal] WOOSH
/u/onlysaysNOO [5'3 | CW 93| BMI 16.94 |F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 14:55:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rffap/woosh/
I've REACHED MY GW!!! 6LBS IN 3 DAYS BECAUSE OF A GIANT WOOSH. IM SO STOKED ON THINGS. Only 8 lbs to my Ugw omfg what even.

(For my peaches I'm ok mostly)

[Rant/Rave] Finally bought a scale after being terrified for ages, and...
/u/greensquarequilt [5'1.5 | 81.4lbs | 15.74 | 22 F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 14:54:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rff2f/finally_bought_a_scale_after_being_terrified_for/
I have posted in a few threads about how I am a wimp and was terrified of buying a scale because of how obsessive I thought it would make me. So I finally worked up the adrenaline and ordered one on amazon yesterday afternoon and I thought I would have a whole week to prepare myself before it got here.

Well, I just got home from work half an hour ago and guess what was at my doorstep. So I just got my construction level and found the most level spot in my apartment, and stripped down and weighed myself.

Freaking 82.8lbs!!!!!!!! New BMI is 16.01!!!!

I still have to update my flair but like, I was so right in the sense that I am probably going to weigh myself every 3hrs like I used to lmao oh well.

[Thinspo] Saw a beautiful bride on r/weddingplanning wearing a "cheong sam", so I looked it up on google and found some unexpected thinspo!
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 117.4 | UGW: 102lbs]
Created: Thu Aug 3 14:48:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rfdi0/saw_a_beautiful_bride_on_rweddingplanning_wearing/

[Goal] So proud of myself! I haven't logged my exercise, but this is a definite improvement from the massive binge I had last night.
Created: Thu Aug 3 14:45:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rfclf/so_proud_of_myself_i_havent_logged_my_exercise/

[Other] Alone kinda feel
Created: Thu Aug 3 14:44:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rfce4/alone_kinda_feel/
Isolated even in this sub

I feel like a hypocrite irl because I work in healthcare and the past week I saw a case of severe anorexia as in this patient's liver is dying and her heart is barely pumping at a regular rate....

Meanwhile I'm a bulimic and yet I find it so so hard to relate to peeps in real life and in this sub more and more and it sucks ass

I'm not the type to post thinspo on this sub, or cal counts or needing an ED buddy or even talk about seeing thin people around me (cool if you do that it's just not me anymore I guess)

At this point I just kind of have this mindset of oh I'm alone and oh damn, I guess that's how it is and it's ok. πŸ‘ŒπŸ»

Sometimes I wonder if that's what being jaded in life means but I see people at work like that one girl and I find myself genuinely wanting to be there for her. I'm so silly.

[Rant/Rave] |rant| this is so stupid why am I even bothered
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |110.8 | -109.2 | GW: 110 | UGW:105 | 20A]
Created: Thu Aug 3 14:21:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rf68x/rant_this_is_so_stupid_why_am_i_even_bothered/
I left a bag of frozen shrimp out on accident and they thawed so now I can't weigh them accurately.
I'm giving them to my dad so they don't go to waste but fuck, shrimp is one of my go-to safe proteins, I *just* went grocery shopping, and I got one meal out of a bag that was supposed to last me like two weeks. Why can't I do anything right

[Tip] If you're broke like me a sale like this is a god send, I need to restock my Diet Pepsi stash.
/u/TummyRumblz [5'8" | CW: Too Much| LW: 146 | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 14:04:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rf1pc/if_youre_broke_like_me_a_sale_like_this_is_a_god/

[Help] People who work overnights - how do you organize your meals, exercise, sleep, etc etc?
Created: Thu Aug 3 13:28:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rescb/people_who_work_overnights_how_do_you_organize/
I used to work daylight hours, 7-4 daily. When I'm on my dieting game I had a really rigorous routine - workout/healthy breakfast before work, healthy packed lunch, a planned out dinner, optional workout after, and I had it worked out to where I sort of intermittent fasted because I would eat dinner early and breakfast right before work, so it was about 14-15 hours between meals. I was dropping weight and my life felt all in order. Food rules my life so much that when it's not in order, I'm not either. And I'm just the kind of person who can't function without a plan, so I don't have a plan of what/even when I'm eating rn so it's been fast food, random snacking, and no counting, but plenty of stress while I'm doing it lol

I started a new job and it is way better but I went to overnight. My meals and everything is so freaking whack now. I'm not hungry when I first wake up, but I'm ravenous and wanna snack and eat all night and I'm starved when I get home. I've gained like 10 pounds in the past couple months and I'm miserable. And I can't make myself sleep all at once when i first get home, i sleep like 5 hours then nap before work. If I dont sleep that way I'm completely dead all night at work. I just don't know how to organize my life now lol.

And I was reading a thing that said our metabolism is naturally shittier at night and I don't know if that's bs but it's made me even more stressed because if i start fasting during work i'm scared of binging when i get home when im all super hungry. Idk this post is a mess but if anyone else does overnights how do you get through it? I could switch quite easily to 2-11p, but I love overnights other than the food/sleep/exercise dilemma.

[Discussion] Feeling hot after a binge?
/u/nycthrowaway51 [5'3" | CW: 90 | GW: 87 | M]
Created: Thu Aug 3 13:20:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6req6d/feeling_hot_after_a_binge/
I just had a ~2500 calorie binge and in addition to having an upset stomach and feeling like crap in general, I feel hot, even though I'm in an air conditioned house right now. I'm guessing it's because my body just received a very large amount of energy. Does anyone else experience this?

Weekend trip nerves
Created: Thu Aug 3 12:59:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rekou/weekend_trip_nerves/

[Tip] UK Vegan Halo Top Alternative! 280 cals for the entire tub, also comes in mango πŸ‘ΌπŸΌ
/u/babylemonadexx [5'7 ✨ | 101 🌺 | 15.6 πŸ’ž]
Created: Thu Aug 3 12:53:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rej67/uk_vegan_halo_top_alternative_280_cals_for_the/

[Rant/Rave] my ex texted me about my weight πŸ˜’
/u/vermillionfate [5'1 | CW: 108lbs | GW: 98lbs | UGW: 88lbs ✨]
Created: Thu Aug 3 12:43:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6regja/my_ex_texted_me_about_my_weight/
Sorry for the double post today but my ex felt the need to text me out of the blue and said, "I wish you were still fat. It looked good on you. Everything else probably needed some work though. It made you softer looking and humble."

I guess he had seen photos of me on Facebook or something but fuck that. I was larger than I am now but fuck him for that.

[Intro] I'm back babies
/u/kickkkasss [5'5 | CW:134 | GW:110 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 12:41:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6reg04/im_back_babies/
Soooo I've been gone for like almost a year and things have been basically binge binge binge mixed in with some good months then binge binge binge. I felt like a failure, so I stopped posting, but I miss you guys and so I'm back. And fatter than ever :'). I also have gotten deeper in my bulimia than I've ever been and I have literally no one in my real life I can talk about it to, so I realized I need you guys. So hi! Also my flair is so wrong I'm trying to get up the courage to make myself change it lol

[Rant/Rave] Alcohol I love you
/u/ruralfishingcat [5'5 | 122 | 20.5 | - 5 | 21 F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 12:40:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6refrm/alcohol_i_love_you/
Oh shit I'm at a fair and like sips away from being drunk lol. I'm surrounded by like 30 booths of food and craving so hard. I wish I could just be drunk forever

[Humor] Locked out of my apartment until tomorrow and all I can think...
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 57 | 19.05/18.82 | GW:<57 by 4/9 | UGW:<55 by 4/9 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 12:33:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ree0l/locked_out_of_my_apartment_until_tomorrow_and_all/
Is how perfect this would have been if I hadn't already caved and ate today. πŸ˜‚

[Discussion] when bae has an ed too... made me realize something
/u/vermillionfate [5'1 | CW: 108lbs | GW: 98lbs | UGW: 88lbs ✨]
Created: Thu Aug 3 12:27:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6reca3/when_bae_has_an_ed_too_made_me_realize_something/
We were just chilling, about to sleep, and I was just running my fingers across his stomach and he got freaked out and was like "oh man that's a really sensitive spot I need to work out ugh..." and I was so taken aback because it's the same place that I get hypersensitive about people touching (re: I won't let anyone touch my belly area) and that this guy who is objectively fit and handsome is self conscious about his body the same way I am made me realize (a little, at least) what I sound like when I say something to him about my own body/food issues.

To each other, we are attractive and objectively in shape, but to ourselves it's this amorphous mass of failings and shortcomings that manifests in our bodies.

Even having that little bit of insight into what other people see when someone they care about is struggling with an ED, I still feel the need to obsessively track calories and attach morals to my food consumption... what a bitch of a mental illness.

[Discussion] Anyone else feel like it's "just water weight" and that your weight loss isn't real?
/u/tootiredrn [5'4" | CW 162.2 | -7.8 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 12:13:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6re8rb/anyone_else_feel_like_its_just_water_weight_and/
July 24 I weighed in at 167.2 and today I just weighed in at 162.2lbs, it's been a week and a half, and I have already gone through the original water weight loss and a 'woosh' after I ate higher cal/maintenance day and lost a pound a day for 2 days in a row. I know intellectually this isn't all just water weight but I can't shake the feeling that it'll all be back after one meal and its just a fluke of my body, or of my scale (I've tried two different ones) or something and that I'll wake up tomorrow and be 167 again or higher.

[Discussion] Just ED Things πŸ’•
Created: Thu Aug 3 12:00:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6re52g/just_ed_things/
On mobile so mark as Discussion flair ☺️

Having literally FOUR different journals/planners to distract you from eating. One planner for school specifically, one planner for work/life in general, one food journal, and one journal for writing. Also, I always have a book to immerse myself in to take me to another place.

My morning consists of coffee with a splash of almond milk, and a huge helping of journaling. Also, making my daughter breakfast is so hard in the mornings 😫

What things do you do to distract yourself from eating?

[Rant/Rave] i feel like i dont really care anymore.
/u/yaboyspissed [5'7" | M19 | b/p mess]
Created: Thu Aug 3 11:50:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6re2g8/i_feel_like_i_dont_really_care_anymore/
everyday has been different. some days im restricting, some days im eating normally, some days im eating very orthorexically but within a healthy amount of calories, and some days im binging and purging like crazy. My weight is fluctuating between the same 3 pounds. I don't actually feel terrible about my body. I would kinda feel ok maintaining what i am now, i understand that others do view me as thin even if I don't. and this makes me not care about the damage im doing to myself.

everyone around me is disregarding my eating disorder. I expressed that i've gained a lot of weight recently due to binge eating to a friend and they said that it's good because it's healthy. how is what i'm doing healthy. just because my weight is healthier it doesnt mean what i'm doing is healthy.

Today I binged on 35,142 calories. healthy eh? i've purged too many times to count. my body is aching. But i dont care. I used to. I'd usually want to counteract by actively fasting or restricting. but i just dont fucking care. I might binge on a few thousand more tonight. I might not eat til tomorrow. I might end up restricting tomorrow. I don't know or care anymore. I probably wouldn't care if I dropped dead from this right now.

sorry for the rambling, just numb rn.

[Tip] My Nearly Nothing Soup!!!
/u/squishysponges [18F|5'5"|GW 110]
Created: Thu Aug 3 11:27:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rdw99/my_nearly_nothing_soup/
Guys. I just tested out the zero shirataki noodles... oh my fucking god. Amazing.
I was so inspired by them I decided to make a super low cal homemade soup.
Ingredients (with calories):
6 cups water
6 boullion cubes (chicken, beef, or vegetable, I used beef) (5 cal each)
5-7 small mushrooms sliced (4 cal each)
3-4 medium carrots sliced (25 cals each)
1 medium onion chopped finely (63 calories)
About a tablespoon crushed red pepper flakes
2 packs of zero shirataki noodles (30 cals each packet)
Top off with scallions for added sweetness and color

Add boullion to water, bring to simmer.
Slice mushrooms, carrots, and chop onion and add to simmering water. Add crushed red pepper flakes to taste. Boil for 20 minutes then bring back down to simmer for 20 mins. Test carrots for softness. Stir throughout.
Last 5 minutes of simmering, drain, rinse, cut if you prefer shorter noodles, and add in your Zero noodles. Take off heat, stir.
Use ladle to scoop into bowl and enjoy!

This soup is super filling and I didn't this time but I'd recommend a low sodium boullion or pre made broth.
Also, we should totally have a recipe flair!!! If you guys try and enjoy this let me know!

[Rant/Rave] Halo Top Just Released 7 Crazy New Flavors of Low-Calorie Ice Cream
/u/iToldAnotherLieToday [5'7| CW: 105 | BMI: 16.4 | 28F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 11:25:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rdvx5/halo_top_just_released_7_crazy_new_flavors_of/

[Discussion] Advice on how not to isolate myself
Created: Thu Aug 3 11:13:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rdssi/advice_on_how_not_to_isolate_myself/
Recently I've had a relapse with my eating habits and have been restricting really tightly. I am honestly fine with this, but I have a bad habit of avoiding all social activities when I'm restricting out of fear of food being present or just messing up my eating routine in general. I keep canceling on my friends and family and I just feel so lonely, but whenever it comes time to be social I panic and decide it's not worth it to put my restricting at risk.

I'm a natural extrovert so isolating myself puts me in a horrible headspace and I miss my friends :( Does anyone else do this? Looking for ways to change my thinking about this so I can keep restricting but also be myself.

[Rant/Rave] Fat Acceptance Friends πŸ’€
Created: Thu Aug 3 11:05:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rdql5/fat_acceptance_friends/
So I've had these two best friends since our freshman year of college five years ago. We'll call them Sam and Amy. I was pretty much always the Fat Friend all through college because I traded in my restricting disorder for binge eating and maintenance for a few years. Sam was naturally thin, always a size 6 despite eating garbage all the time and barely working out. Amy was a vegetarian who chainsmoked and didn't own a car, so she started college the same size as me and the weight just melted off her by the end of our first year.

Last year, I don't know what happened but they both gained a TON of weight. Sam went from being a 6 to easily a 16, and Amy's got to be an 18 or larger. They both drink a lot of wine and beer and they order pizza all the time (Amy's no longer vegetarian). Fine, whatever, shit happens and I still love them and think they're gorgeous.

But what really bothers me is they've both gotten super into Fat Acceptance stuff. Which is fine, I truly think everyone deserves to love themselves and feel beautiful at every size, and fat people definitely get a lot of hate thrown their way for no reason. But they're driving me crazy with all their stupid fucking fat logic about being "perfectly healthy" even though they've gained weight. They're not healthy!!! Amy can't even walk to the bus stop without getting winded. Sam goes to the gym three times a week but she's still gaining because she gets takeout every night. What's worse is they're always pressuring me to go out for brunch or beers and to come over for edibles when we'll inevitably get too high and order a huge pizza. "Treat yourself, you work so hard!" is what they're always telling me.

Meanwhile, I'm making tons of progress. I had a breast reduction and while I'm still fat, my body looks so much more proportional and I'm going to have a fucking killer body when I get the rest of this weight off. I go to yoga a lot (which they hate because it's culturally appropriative to do yoga even though I never say "namaste" or use Hindu iconography in my practice but okay). I've lost 20 pounds so effortlessly because I have a very active job bartending (they're both receptionists). I can't talk about my weight accomplishments without it being a trigger for them and they've told me as much. I just know when I get skinnier they're going to try to intervene at some point.

I love them. They're my sisters. But god they make me so frustrating sometimes. I feel like they're starting to get jealous because I've always been their fat friend, and that's not me anymore. Hell, this weekend they're both coming to go through my clothes that are all too big for me now. I hate feeling this way, but I won't lie and say I'm not kind of smug about it.

[Rant/Rave] [rant] sometimes i'm so desperate to lose weight it makes me hate myself more than usual
/u/lowkeydeadinside [5'6" | cw: 129 | ugw: 98 | 17F | πŸ‘: starvingprincess]
Created: Thu Aug 3 10:36:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rdiv8/rant_sometimes_im_so_desperate_to_lose_weight_it/
i just ordered fittea. i know it probably won't work but i'm desperate. if anyone else has tried it, please tell me your experience with it. i hate myself for being so desperate but i need to do something and i'm in a binge period rn and i want to get out of it :(

Created: Thu Aug 3 10:28:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rdgns/new_halo_top_flavors/
Halo Top is coming out with new flavors, which are
chocolate covered banana (280), mochi green tea (320), rainbow sherbet (240), candy bar (360), pancakes & waffles (280), caramel macchiato (280) and cinnamon roll (360)


[Help] Can someone please reassure me that even when eating shitty processed food CICO does still work?
/u/hbastion [5'2 | 19.4/20.08 (new) | GW: 18.76 | 20F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 10:23:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rdfcm/can_someone_please_reassure_me_that_even_when/
Lately for the past 2-3 weeks I've been eating a lot of microwave meals, low-cal ice creams like Enlightened and Halo Top, and Quest Bars. I haven't weighed myself nor was I planning on it for another week or so since I tend to restrict better when I don't know my weight, but even though I'm eating 600-800 everyday I'm convinced I'm gaining despite being well under my TDEE. It's hard for me to fathom that I could eat a pint of Halo Top every night if I wanted to and still lose weight -- obviously fruits and vegetables would be healthier nutrition-wise, but I've been on a processed food kick lately and it seems to be working so far (no binge urges, etc).

Can someone please reassure me that CICO is true and valid and that when I step on the scale next week I'm not going to have gained 4858483 pounds from all the microwave meals and low-fat ice creams I've been consuming?

[Discussion] Sauna for water weight?
Created: Thu Aug 3 10:14:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rdd3l/sauna_for_water_weight/
My gym has a sauna and I use it on and off and haven't really tracked if I noticed a drop in weight on the scale or appearance. Do any of you swear by it or does it really not make much of a difference? If you do see a difference how long do you stay in?

[Humor] That time being ana saved me from Typhoid.
/u/PerfctBodyPerfctSoul [5'11" | CW: 135 | BMI:18.2 | LW: 112 | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 10:04:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rdafl/that_time_being_ana_saved_me_from_typhoid/
Allow me to take you all back about a decade, to the summer after my freshman year at university.

I was an archaeology student, and joined a study abroad session for a couple months in Ecuador. The situation was amazing. Tons of hard work and distractions -- I hit the lowest weight of my life here, when I was able to find a scale it was 112, but I know I got lower than that before someone intervened. I just never got a number.

Anywho. Most of the group lived in this sort of communal dorm the local church had build in the tiny mountain town we lived in. We took all our meals there. Lunch was pretty much a free-for-all. Various things were left out for us and we could make up what we wanted to take with us in the morning. The non-perishables were left out for us to snack on when we returned from fieldwork in the afternoon. Most people were ravenous. Young, crazy, ravenous kids. And you know what they all honed in on? A giant jar of bloody Nutella.

Now, Nutella is amazing. I won't lie. It's fucking delicious. It's also Satan's food and I won't touch it. Couple that with the fact that multiple people would come back, filthy, and literally all sit on the table and pass around this jar and eat from it with their fucking fingers... yeah, I noped out without a second thought.

A week goes by of this, and suddenly, EVERYBODY gets sick. Everybody, that is, except my roommate and I. Why? Because I didn't eat the poisonous Satanic Nutella, and I convinced her not to either.

Turns out everybody got and spread Typhoid between each other. And since we were the only two that didn't touch the Nutella jar, we were spared.

Good thing too, they all dropped so much weight... It probably would have killed me!

So, that's the story of how my ED saved me from a terrible fate. Haha.

[Discussion] Has anyone ever successfully stopped binging?
/u/cry1000x [5'5" | 131 lbs | 22 BMI | F | Vegan 🌿 ]
Created: Thu Aug 3 09:23:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rd0g0/has_anyone_ever_successfully_stopped_binging/
How tf did you do it?

[Rant/Rave] New halo top flavours!
Created: Thu Aug 3 09:22:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rd06v/new_halo_top_flavours/
I just saw a post saying there are seven new halo top flavours! [link here.](https://www.buzzfeed.com/ariellecalderon/halo-top-new-flavors-exclusive?utm_term=.sj6JWew9J#.abxamv8Ea)

New halo top flavours!
Created: Thu Aug 3 09:20:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rczoh/new_halo_top_flavours/

[Help] Actual weight or just water weight?
/u/Panda_Melody [5'5 | CW: 134.8| BMI: 22.70 | GW: 120 |HW: 168 | LW: 108 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 08:41:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rcqc4/actual_weight_or_just_water_weight/
So I've gone from 134.0 to 130.6 lbs in 4 days. I am moderately active and I've stayed under 800 calls on days I've eaten and I fasted 2 of these days. ( I generally only eat every other day ) I also stay well hydrated I drink a fuck ton of water. Close to a gallon a day probably.

So is it possible this is real weight? Or just water weight?

[Discussion] anyone else have this problem?
Created: Thu Aug 3 08:32:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rcoav/anyone_else_have_this_problem/
i hate it when a relative or someone i know compliments my weight, (I'm a very average weight for my hight, might I add) it just makes me feel like I can binge and eat whatever I want because someone thinks I'm "pretty"

[Goal] When I get to my GW...
/u/squishysponges [18F|5'5"|GW 110]
Created: Thu Aug 3 08:14:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rck1d/when_i_get_to_my_gw/
I want to reward myself for getting to my goal weight, so my own personal rewards are as follows:
Get the thigh/hip tattoo I've wanted for years
Buy a new wardrobe (and wear much skimpier clothes, high waisted shorts, crop tops, leggings)
Own and wear a bikini
Get a rib tattoo

What are some of your rewards when you get to your GW/UGW? Do you have any for midpoints or stepping-stone goals?

How often do you binge?
Created: Thu Aug 3 08:12:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rcjln/how_often_do_you_binge/

[Help] Does restriction get harder the smaller/more underweight you are?
/u/borbolete [5'4.3" | πŸ‘: borbolete]
Created: Thu Aug 3 08:00:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rcgqw/does_restriction_get_harder_the_smallermore/
I can't even explain how exhausted I am right now. I've taken a break from restriction for a few days then back into it again. I'm eating nutritional foods, comprehensive vitamins too. As a side word, I'm aware I'm not eating many carbs the past 5 days, so maybe I'm just inadvertently entering a keto state?

I'm just trying to figure out if this is psychological or if it is really harder the smaller you get. if it's not harder, I will just maybe up my carbs a bit? :)

[Rant/Rave] They say kids are brutally honest
Created: Thu Aug 3 07:44:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rcd55/they_say_kids_are_brutally_honest/
My 5-year-old, who in the past has told me "Mommy you have a big belly!", told me today, "Mommy your belly is getting smaller!" If she noticed, I must be doing something right.

/u/keyboardpal [5'11" | CW: 190lbs. | GW: 180lbs. | UGW: 160lbs. | M]
Created: Thu Aug 3 07:20:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rc84t/cookies/

[Rant/Rave] I had forgotten how great it felt to push my body.
/u/timetofadeaway [5'2 | CW 117 | LW 91 | GW1 110 | UGW 90 | F20]
Created: Thu Aug 3 06:29:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rby41/i_had_forgotten_how_great_it_felt_to_push_my_body/
With months of restriction usually comes an increasing lack of incentive to exercise (at least for me) and, as many of us know, exercise greets the hunger beast with open arms and welcomes all kind of food to visit (and stay on our hips).

Therefore I did what I thought was best and I have cowered away from any intense physical exertion (only walking or jogging sporadically) for many months. I used to run 5k, 10k and I felt great, but I was ravenous.

Fast forward to yesterday, I decided to get my floppy ass to the gym and man did it feel great! I did resistance, weights and cardio. I ignored the paranoia of people staring and pushed through. An added sense of clarity was found. I felt hungry this morning yes, but I felt like I *deserved to eat* for the first time in months. I ate to my calorie limit and I felt nourished instead of like I was simply eating to avoid a binge later.

This is only day 1. I have no idea how day 2 will feel. However, today I am gonna let myself smile though cause I feel better than I have for a long time.

[Rant/Rave] Biggest whoosh of my life: 159-154 in four days.
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" β˜€οΈ attempting recovery β˜€οΈ πŸ‘ tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Thu Aug 3 06:16:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rbvvc/biggest_whoosh_of_my_life_159154_in_four_days/
Monday: 159.2

Tuesday: 158.2

Wednesday: 156.4

Today: 154.5

This is so incredible and my mind is blown. :') Thank you so much to this amazing community for all the support and love :)

[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support August 03, 2017
Created: Thu Aug 3 06:10:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rbuss/weekly_emotional_support_august_03_2017/
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**


Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 03, 2017
Created: Thu Aug 3 06:10:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rburf/daily_food_diary_august_03_2017/
This is a daily food diary thread for August 03, 2017.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)

[Rant/Rave] My mum is constantly trying to sabotage me
/u/itscirclejerky [5'5 | CW: repulsive| 22.29 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 05:28:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rbn4a/my_mum_is_constantly_trying_to_sabotage_me/
Buckle the fickle up I'm here to rant and complain!

My mum, a typically lovely woman, happens to weigh 100 kg or 220 lbs for you Americans. She's weighed this much for as long as I can remember in my almost 15 years and claims it's because she's spent so long trying to look good (read: skinny) that it doesn't matter anymore.

Every summer, I try a new diet: 2015 vegetarianism, 2016 veganism and this year? Keto! Keto, occasionally called low-carb high fat, is where you eat under 30g carbs so your body goes into ketosis and burns fat instead of carbs.

Getting into ketosis, however, takes 3 days of eating low carb for your body to start using ketones.

I've been doing keto for about a week and lost 9 lbs. I don't see the difference (hello dysmorphia) but family members like my brother, sister and mum have noticed, as well as a lady at the market I see on occasion.

My mum keeps saying I look really sick and that I look like I'm fasting (we're Muslim) but I feel perfectly fine, in fact, better than I normally do; my depression hasn't been an issue, I'm not feeling anxious and I'm actually having a good summer.

I explained to my mum how keto works; I eat under 20g carbs per day and my body burns fat instead of carbs. I can't have bread, rice, cake, potatoes of any kind or most fruits.

At first, she was actually kinda helpful, asking what things I can have and suggesting things I could do with it ('oh, can you have courgette? You can do x and have it with z').

She begged me to have a few dates because I looked sick and I explained that even one date would take me out of ketosis because the carbs and she went off saying I'd go to hell because Allah never said not to have dates and yada yada so I said I didn't care.

But after a few days, she started buying pastries and things she knew I liked, like croissants and cookies, even though I asked her not to because I would eat them and I didn't want the temptation, she would say it was for her and my brother and that I couldn't expect them to live like animals. So I shrugged it off, after all, my brother had just gotten out of a short prison sentence and needed time to adjust.

My nephew slept over for the night because my sister had some video shoot she had to go to with her friend and he thankfully ate most of the bread things, so less struggle for me. But what did my mum buy while she was dropping him off?

A chocolate cake. It's one of those small Tesco Finest cakes that normally is Β£2.75 but it was reduced for Β£1.35. I asked why she bought it, because I would probably try to eat the whole thing and she said, "I don't know, I spent forever thinking about if we really needed it - yes, no, yes, no, but I bought it anyway." I asked again, why she would buy it and she said it was for her and my brother.

But she hates chocolate, she hates cake, my brother stopped liking chocolate a few years ago.I'm the only person in my house who likes chocolate. I'm the only person who likes cake. I'm the only person who likes chocolate cake.

I asked if she wanted some and she said she'd have some later. I asked out loud (more to me than to her) if I should have some and she said have a tiny slice. I explained that even a crumb would take me out of ketosis and she repeated herself, 'I know, a tiny slice'. So I said fuck it and had a slice, then said, well hey, if I'm breaking ketosis I might as well make it worth it right? So I binged on the left over cookies my nephew didn't inhale, with milk, with the Nesquik chocolate milk, disappointing waffles (because my brother finished the chocolate spread and left the jar in the cupboard) and of course dates.

I left the mess downstairs, to show what she had reduced me to, and vanished upstairs. After her prayer, I could hear her laughing in the kitchen, like she had finally broken me.

Trying not to feel like shit for binging, I watched Pitch Perfect 2. I paused halfway through the movie because there was an awkward scene, so I went downstairs and said, well, I should at least have some toast since I'd be mad at myself for not having any actual bread. Mum happened to be hoovering and she passed the kitchen and saw me eating my toast and laughed and smiled, asking "Oh, what are you eating? I thought you couldn't have that," so I angrily explained that she ruined my diet on purpose and that she bought the cake because she knew I would eat it. She said the cake was for her and my brother and I said she was full of shit (bit rude) and that she was only doing it because she didn't like that I had lost weight. She didn't say anything and went back to hoovering.

This morning, I asked my brother to eat the cake and he asked why I didn't want it. I lied and said I don't like cake and he was surprised because I used to eat cake for breakfast so I told him cake was disgusting and told him to just eat it. I also gave him a quick explanation of why mum had bought it and a quick explanation of keto he said I'd lost weight and he was surprised since he thought I'd be fat when he got out.

So, out of spite, I'm going to stick with keto until I'm 114 lbs, then go back to carbs and keep losing.

[Help] Good idea or bad idea?
/u/teasnob22 [5'3" | CW: 95.7 | GW: 88 | 17.43 | -22 | F | Vegan AF]
Created: Thu Aug 3 05:24:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rbmg0/good_idea_or_bad_idea/
I haven't eaten for ~48 hrs (I'm a little fuzzy about when exactly I last ate but tbh it was A LOT OF FOOD so exact numbers aren't exactly called for lmao), and am planning on eating tomorrow when I get home from uni (it's about 10 pm here now.)

I've never really fasted for that long, bc usually I do ~48 hrs max, but idk I'm not really feeling like food rn and don't eat before uni as a rule. Is it a bad idea for me to have caffeine tomorrow? I don't usually have it often, but will have some matcha a couple of times a week and occasionally get jittery from that bc of my low tolerance. I'm thinking the energy might be nice tomorrow tho.

Will I die? Will I get super shaky? Will I dramatically collapse and have a teary heart to heart with my family before being counselled by Keanu Reeves? What are your thoughts?

[Rant/Rave] 11.5 hours left of my 48 hour fast...
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 56.5kg | BMI 18.6 |- 16kg | GW 52kg | 24F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 05:11:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rbkbb/115_hours_left_of_my_48_hour_fast/
And I'm actually doing okay! How? How is this happening? If I still feel okay by the time the fast is over I think I'm going to try for Friday as well.

I've already lost a pound and so by Tuesday (when I go on holiday) I'll hopefully be 56kg! Maybe even lower but let's not tempt fate!

[Rant/Rave] It's on
Created: Thu Aug 3 05:04:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rbjai/its_on/
So after just being dumped and everything else in my life spiraling out of control i figure the only thing i can control is how i look. So i dyed my hair and started restricting again, as well as taking various weight loss tablets including apple cider vinegar. Has anyone had any experience with these? Yay or nay?

[Thinspo] She is killing me omg her body is absolutely perfect
Created: Thu Aug 3 03:34:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rb6kl/she_is_killing_me_omg_her_body_is_absolutely/

[Other] Hang in there!
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 02:45:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rb039/hang_in_there/
I've had a rough week. I'm finally less of a water balloon (note to boss: stop commenting about my swollen face, it's utterly unhelpful) and feeling excited that the weekend is coming. The weekends are my times of solace when I finally feel the anxiety that drives much of my ED lift off of my shoulders for 48 hours. I know how much we all struggle day to day and few if any understand. Hang in there!

[Discussion] Any experience with muscle loss/atrophy?
Created: Thu Aug 3 02:44:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rb00s/any_experience_with_muscle_lossatrophy/
Does this eventually happen? I mean i think it would eventually happen no? I'm not exercising in any way any more and to be very honest I want some of my muscles to atrophy I feel bulky and big and I want to be smaller. Any insight?

[Rant/Rave] I really tried
Created: Thu Aug 3 01:03:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ramq1/i_really_tried/
I thought I could just snap out of all of this unhappiness that I have surrounding food.

I tried, for a month - to eat without restricting or fasting and to just eat like a normal person. All that's happened is I've got so fat and I'm still unhappy.

Oh well, fasting starts again today.

[Thinspo] My new favorite thinspo site! (more to say in comments)
/u/squishysponges [18F|5'5"|GW 110]
Created: Thu Aug 3 00:11:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rafd6/my_new_favorite_thinspo_site_more_to_say_in/

[Rant/Rave] it feels like only pretty girls have eating disorders
Created: Thu Aug 3 00:09:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6raey2/it_feels_like_only_pretty_girls_have_eating/

[Rant/Rave] My SO offered me rewards to lose weight, lol.
/u/littlebirbb [5'7" | -38]
Created: Wed Aug 2 23:52:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rac8a/my_so_offered_me_rewards_to_lose_weight_lol/
This guy

Okay so he knows verrry well that I used to deal with pretty bad BED. I ballooned up 40 pounds between when we met and when we got engaged. It was awful, I hated everything and my depression was just... nope. Nooooope.

So I started seeing a psychiatrist, and I was put on medication. Awesome! It also happens to be one that WONT give me worse cravings, since she didn't want to give me that with my BED history. Cool.

I've lost 25 pounds in the last 3-4 months. So I'm close to a normal weight again. But my disordered eating has just... changed. Into hardcore restriction and lying about food and being so picky about what I'm eating that everyone around me just thinks I'm on a really good strict diet for my upcoming wedding. lol.

Anyway, I've been lowering my calorie goals every week for the last month or so, and I'm comfortably under 600 most days, and then my lard ass eats everything in sight on weekends when we go out or see family. I've been super discouraged because I haven't been losing weight as fast as I was before because of all that, so he decided to egg me on.

For every x number of pounds, he's going to literally give me a certain amount of money per goal. And take me to a HEALTHY dinner. I started laughing because I thought he was joking. He was not. He wants to see me be comfortable in my body. I'm hoping to get down to 115-120, he knows this, we were talking about it the other day. I'm basically halfway from my high weight to 120, maybe a little less, and he did the math while I was throwing out numbers and was initially surprised and said it sounded so low, but then I showed him a few examples of girls around that height and weight and he said it looks good to him. (I'm probably going to try to go a little lower than that, 118 or something puts me at underweight and that's the goal!)

Like... this guy. Knows my history. And is actively encouraging me to lose weight. He probably knows that he's gonna have to watch it, and he already put a hard limit on when he stops rewarding me so I don't go too low, but damn. So many relationships, a partner is trying to convince their SO to eat more, to be a healthy weight, whatever. Mine is like "hey, so, you'd look great super thin, I'll pay you to get there"



I also realize that means that he'd like my body more if I were that thin, but that just means I have to get there. Whatever. He still loves me now, he'll looooooove me when I get to where I want to be.

[Help] Need Advice: Vegetarian Trying to Enter Ketosis
/u/akizichi [5'4.5" | GW: 99 lb]
Created: Wed Aug 2 23:28:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ra8m9/need_advice_vegetarian_trying_to_enter_ketosis/

I am trying to enter ketosis through liquid fasts (<5 kcal drinks only, mostly just tea). I would like to introduce some food after a three day period to make sure I don't lose vital tissue.

I am having a hard time eating protein as a vegetarian. I have a fear of estrogenic effects of over-consumption of soy products.

Right now I'm eating nothing but I think maybe egg whites? Do any of you lovelies have any good vegetarian protein suggestions?

Appreciate it! Cheers!

[Help] I can't stop night- eating :(
Created: Wed Aug 2 22:49:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ra22r/i_cant_stop_night_eating/
So I can go all day , almost 24 hours without eating. Sometimes a snack here and there. I'm doing great, not even hungry. Then night hits and I'm a little hungry. So I have a heavier snack. Then like clockwork, 30 minutes before I go to sleep as I'm unwinding before bed I just eat everything, like sometimes 1,000 calories in one sitting. I've tried eating a heavier breakfast... still happens. If I force myself through it I literally wake up in my sleep to sleep-eat sometimes. WHY. How do I force myself to stop this? I feel like it's such a comfort thing for me to eat before bed but I go so overboard lately.

[Humor] Damn, YouTube ad. Why you got to do me like this?
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Wed Aug 2 22:34:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r9zj7/damn_youtube_ad_why_you_got_to_do_me_like_this/

[Other] Grocery shopping, restriction style πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…
Created: Wed Aug 2 22:30:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r9yuz/grocery_shopping_restriction_style/

[Discussion] Corsets?
/u/ayvyns [5'7β€œ | 130 | 20.4 | -7 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 2 22:05:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r9udw/corsets/
I have a wide ribcage and it makes my back look gross :( Has anyone tried corseting to get the ribs to close in? Most of the pictures I've seen are of overweight people, and the corset has this pinched waist look I don't like. It's so frustrating bc I'm literally at odds with my bone structure

[Discussion] Hypocritical advice you've given others?
Created: Wed Aug 2 21:59:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r9tdb/hypocritical_advice_youve_given_others/
What are some instances where you've given friends/family/whoever advice that was downright hypocritical?

For me a big one I've said time and time again is: "Don't base your self worth on appearance/weight alone! You're personality, intellect, & charm are all that should matter!"

I've said this to so many friends and family over the years, and every time I say it I feel like the biggest fucking hypocrite in the world since I myself value my appearance over my intellect 24/7. I just cringe at myself when I even dare say it nowadays...

[Rant/Rave] So angry at myself...
/u/floodinginmymind [5'8" | CW: fat | BMI: fat | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 2 21:49:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r9rhm/so_angry_at_myself/
Today I allowed myself to eat more than my allowed 200 calories... I binged and ate a 150 calorie soup. I regretted it immediately and tried to purge but I've just never been able to. I spent 30 minutes on my bathroom floor trying to get it to come up and all I could do was cry about how weak and pathetic I am.

After I collected myself, I ran a few miles to burn it off but I still feel so guilty. No food tomorrow... none. Negative net calorie counts only from now on. I'm not gonna keep being fat.

[Rant/Rave] Drunk and accepting my issues :-)
Created: Wed Aug 2 21:31:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r9o4q/drunk_and_accepting_my_issues/
I am drunk on tequila and I think this is the only way to accept my issues... today I b/p'd like crazy and finally realize I have an ED problem. I decided to try and be better and work towards recovery. Problem is, I don't get along very well with my mom, who always mentions it if I gain or even eat a lot. I came home to my parents for the day and I've for sure eaten 10,000+ cals. I was in a bad binge cycle and had finally been out for a couple days but I came here and ruined everything..... idk why posting this

[Rant/Rave] Anybody else motivated by getting a "revenge body"?
/u/jane_rain [5'9" | 126lbs | 26 F]
Created: Wed Aug 2 21:19:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r9lqn/anybody_else_motivated_by_getting_a_revenge_body/
Maybe I'm just an awful person.

There's some people I absolutely have to be thinner than. I used to be 225+lbs and this was really one of the biggest motivators to lose the weight.

I have a cousin who was awful to me through my entire life. As in turning friends and family against me, spreading rumours about me etc. She gained a lot of weight after having her baby, and now someone told me she has been dieting and working out, and it makes me very anxious.

She is married and has a baby and works, I have basically nothing, no career, but I think that just being thinner will be "revenge"? lol

[Help] Im having a meltdown for no reason...
/u/bigfaninasmallworld [5 feet 🍰 | CW: 107 lbs | GW: 100 lbs | UGW: 98 lbs | 20 F πŸ’ |]
Created: Wed Aug 2 21:11:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r9kea/im_having_a_meltdown_for_no_reason/
A friend of mine posted something on instagram about "Anorexia Awareness". I'm actually crying cause I haven't told ANYONE about my problem and I'm scared she found out and I keep retracing to see how she found out and oh gosh I'm panicking.

[Discussion] alright proedditors, tell me everything you know about laxatives
Created: Wed Aug 2 21:08:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r9jsu/alright_proedditors_tell_me_everything_you_know/

[Rant/Rave] Eating today
/u/dobelieveinbear [5'3 | 103 | 18.2 | GW: 90ish | F]
Created: Wed Aug 2 21:08:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r9jpw/eating_today/

Verdict on Alexis Bledel?
/u/rizzie_ [5'2F CW:128 GW:110 ||πŸ‘ rizzie_]
Created: Wed Aug 2 20:32:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r9cs0/verdict_on_alexis_bledel/

[Rant/Rave] Omg!!!
Created: Wed Aug 2 19:45:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r93dc/omg/

[Rant/Rave] Skipped gym and binged πŸ™ƒ
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 2 19:42:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r92rh/skipped_gym_and_binged/
Not only skipped the gym, but skipped knowing I won't be able to go tomorrow and am also going out to eat tomorrow.
Also binged and purged three times! Yaaaaayyyy πŸ˜‚πŸ™ƒ

[Rant/Rave] I was supposed to reclaim myself this summer...
Created: Wed Aug 2 19:30:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r906f/i_was_supposed_to_reclaim_myself_this_summer/
These last two years I was extremely disciplined with my fasting, counted every calorie when I did eat and never stepped out of line. But starting in this new school has wrecked my body and mind, my failing grades and overall me being extremely depressed led to some weight gain. Yeah, I ate my feelings out for sure. I started this summer as a pudgy slacker. I thought I could jump right into fasting again and and come back thinner than ever but no. School is beginning in about two weeks and if anything I got **fatter**. I even resorted to purging but it failed and I just ended up touching weird parts of my throat I never knew existed! It feels like laziness has taken over every aspect of me. I just can't seem to control myself anymore and it's making me lose my marbles. Has anyone else experienced similar before?

Created: Wed Aug 2 19:09:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r8vv4/ugh/

[Help] iso the texture of granola bars minus all the calories
/u/sighsless [5'6 | CW:128.4 | 20.81 | idk]
Created: Wed Aug 2 19:09:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r8vuw/iso_the_texture_of_granola_bars_minus_all_the/
I can't stop eating granola bars. I know they're so high cal and not the best for you, plus I'm vegan so the options are a bit limited. I know part of it is a need to chew something, but nothing else I can think of really has that same chewy and crunchy combination. I can't always c&s them and I know thats's not the best. Any suggestions of alternatives? Or homemade recipes with better macros or less calories? For those times I lack willpower I need something similar to chew on.

[Goal] Hit my goal weight this week :)
/u/Zoombinis [24 F | 5'8" (172 cm) | CW: 122 lbs (55.33 kg) | GW: Flat belly]
Created: Wed Aug 2 18:30:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r8nw6/hit_my_goal_weight_this_week/
I can't change flair on mobile, but I'm there!! 120 lbs, 5'8". I love looking at my stomach, and the fat in my face and neck finally disappeared.

There's still a *tiny* lump on my belly. It's not perfectly flat. I don't know if I need to go lower (risk losing boobs/butt) or work out more. :/

Regardless, I'm mostly there!! The worst is over. I also overhead my supervisor bragging about me today, so it's been a great day.

[Rant/Rave] Binge
/u/anamiaangel [5'8 | CW 190lb | BMI 28.9 | GW1: 180lb | Female]
Created: Wed Aug 2 18:27:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r8n8y/binge/

[Rant/Rave] Went over my calorie limit
Created: Wed Aug 2 18:16:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r8kug/went_over_my_calorie_limit/

[Rant/Rave] Binged today..
Created: Wed Aug 2 18:04:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r8i8k/binged_today/
Just feeling really down. I ate well over 2000 cals today when I normally stay around 500-700 and I just feel so mehhhh. I ate fried pickles, a BBQ chicken wrap, French fries and even ice cream from Dairy Queen. It's so unlike me and I just feel like I'm loosing my self control. I know it's not a huge deal but my brain keeps telling me to just go and purge it all.

Here's to making tomorrow a better day. I gotta get this stuff under control if I want to get to my GW.

[Rant/Rave] Found new AMAZING crackers!!
/u/Get-Closer [5'2 | 129 | 23.8 | -30 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 2 18:01:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r8hn8/found_new_amazing_crackers/
I've never seen these talked about on here and have never actually heard of them before today so I figured I should share.

I love crackers, popcorn, chips, etc and now that popcorn is no longer a safe food for me I decided to try to find some low cal crackers.

Okay these things are Blue Diamond brand and they're called Nut Thins. They're basically thin crackers made of rice flour and almonds. 130 calories for 19 crackers!!!!! I was skeptical at first but when I tried them they were SO good!

I got the original kind, but they have a ton of different flavors. The ones I got I had with some laughing cow cheese and it was amazing. Basically cheese + 10 crackers for ~100 cal. I'm in love.

Tldr; Nut Thins are amazing, sorry if this reads like a freaking ad but I'm super excited about them lol.

[Discussion] Water flavor???
/u/mhm646 [5'5" | CW 134 | GW 125 | UGW 118 | -7 | 20F]
Created: Wed Aug 2 18:00:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r8hh3/water_flavor/
I'm so tired of just drinking waterrrrrrr and that's all I have at work, just coolers of water. Does any use like the Crystal Lite powder or the liquid flavor stuff to make their water flavored? I wanna kno, help me make my water experience better

Edit: wow you're all the best, stopping by the store on my way to the office tomorrow ❀️

[Tip] 150 calorie chocolate pancakes, low fat, no added sugar, high-ish protein recipe!
Created: Wed Aug 2 17:44:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r8diu/150_calorie_chocolate_pancakes_low_fat_no_added/

I made 2 giant double-thick pancakes with this recipe, so it will make 6-8 regular sized pancakes.

* 2 egg whites, whipped to stiff peaks

* 10g cocoa powder

* 30g whole wheat flour

* 2 packets zero calorie sweetener of choice

* 13g applesauce (~1 tbsp)

* 1/4 cup water

Mix together dry ingredients, applesauce, and water in one bowl while whipping the egg whites to stiff peaks. Then fold in the whites to the rest of the mix. Put a nonstick pan on medium-high, and make sure it's thoroughly heated before starting to cook. These cook like regular pancakes, and they can even handle a bit longer cook time before getting dry or burnt. You can make a few big ones, a lot of smaller ones, or even bake it in the oven as one big souffle (350 F for 16 minutes)!

These are so moist you can eat them without any toppings, I ate them with 1 tbsp light butter. They'd also be good with sugar free syrup or jam.

[Discussion] Dairy free alternative to Halo top?
/u/skinnyminnynomoree [5'11" | 156.8 | 21.20 | -3lbs | F]
Created: Wed Aug 2 17:40:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r8ck3/dairy_free_alternative_to_halo_top/
So I have a milk allergy and eating dairy ice cream is like a 50/50 gamble on whether I get painful diahhrea or not. Which I mean is ok when I haven't pooped in a while but I also dont like being in excruciating pain. Cashew milk and almond milk ice creams are on par with reg ice cream, calorie wise.

I just want a dairy free alternative to Halo top/Arctic zero/enlightened 😭😭😭 and lactose free doesn't work bc I have a milk allergy, not lactose intolerance. Does anybody know if such a thing exists? I love Halo top so much but half the time it sends me running to the toilet.

[Help] Whenever I stay somewhere that isn't my apartment I gain 5 pounds.
/u/Brickly2017 [5'7" | CW118/GW115 | 18.4 | -13 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 2 16:06:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r7qpy/whenever_i_stay_somewhere_that_isnt_my_apartment/
I'm not sure if this has become a self-fulfilling prophesy, but whenever I'm out of my element I gain weight. It's horrifying. I had to move out of my apartment (end of lease) and I knew I would gain because I always do when I stay at my boyfriend's or my parents' house. I was 114 a few days ago and am now 118.6 with drastically bigger measurements. When I gain, I go crazy, and I start banging my own forehead with my knuckles until there are bruises and I have to hide it with a hat. Can someone help me figure out how to get rid of the weight or what it is? God damn it honestly.

[Help] Ways to make.bloodwork come back BAD?
/u/WorstCunt [donkey brain]
Created: Wed Aug 2 16:05:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r7qij/ways_to_makebloodwork_come_back_bad/

[Intro] Uh an intro I guess
Created: Wed Aug 2 15:59:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r7oz0/uh_an_intro_i_guess/
Hi I've been lurking for a while on a different account but I thought maybe Id say hi. I've never been diagnosed with an ED but i've struggled on and off with disordered eating for years. I need to lose weight for important surgery and I can feel myself slipping back into old restricting habits

[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo.
Created: Wed Aug 2 15:33:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r7iv7/daily_thinspo/

[Rant/Rave] my boyfriend broke up with me today because I'm too sad/ impossible to make happy
/u/emotionalthr0w [5'9 22F. SW:182 CW:159 BMI:23.09]
Created: Wed Aug 2 15:07:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r7cj4/my_boyfriend_broke_up_with_me_today_because_im/
he did it over text just as I was walking into the orthodontist who then proceeded to rubber band my mouth shut for the next two weeks. so it looks like I'll be having a hard time eating my feelings/ hoeing around to cope. I feel so alone πŸ˜”

[Intro] Last night I binged but today I will not
Created: Wed Aug 2 14:57:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r7a33/last_night_i_binged_but_today_i_will_not/
I've been doing really "well" for like 9 days, but last night I ate two chunks of bread and probably half a bowl of split pea soup and two beers. Fucking awful but I know why it happened, I ate in the morning. I weigh I think about 122, my goal is 100 and then 95. According to all my apps I can reach 108 by the end of the month. But hopefully it will be more like 103. I'm going to switch to Diet Coke and vodka from beer and I don't care what my bf says about it (we control our drinking problem by only drinking beer lol) anyway, this is my first time posting so hi!!!

Im relapsing and I love it and I feel like I can really do it this time. My lowest weight ever I think is 100 (I'm 5"4) and I'm going to get there and pass it no matter what

Senna tea and birth control?
Created: Wed Aug 2 14:49:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r787r/senna_tea_and_birth_control/

[Rant/Rave] Away from home and panicking
Created: Wed Aug 2 14:47:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r77q3/away_from_home_and_panicking/

[Discussion] Do you agree with Intermittent Fasting? If not why?
Created: Wed Aug 2 14:42:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r76db/do_you_agree_with_intermittent_fasting_if_not_why/

[Discussion] If I binge/purge, did I ruin my restriction?
/u/overweightandstress [5'8 | CW: 144 lb | BMI: 21.4 | GW: 127 lb| F]
Created: Wed Aug 2 14:28:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r72vt/if_i_bingepurge_did_i_ruin_my_restriction/
I know the answer is probably definitely yes, but I just need to hear someone say it haha. In my little screwed up world I just feel like I can cheat the system but of course I'm sure you can't ever purge it all and I've probably had way more calories than I sought out to restrict today :/

[Tip] A Ultimate Guide to Stop Binge Eating at Night. After great insight and discussion I want to share a Ultimate Guide on Binge Eating. I hope this will provide value.
Created: Wed Aug 2 14:27:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r72hp/a_ultimate_guide_to_stop_binge_eating_at_night/

[Intro] My intro
Created: Wed Aug 2 14:26:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r72dr/my_intro/
So I thought I would do an intro after lurking for about a month or two. I've never been diagnosed with an ED before. I used to binge like two or three times a week for like five or six years. Until the start of this year ( not really the start more like some time in February ) and I started restricting and fasting. I've lost about 60 lbs. ( 27.21 kgs. ) since February ( about 15 to 20 was in the past month ). Still not close to my UGW of 200 lbs. ( 90.72 kgs. ). That probably sounds really high and sca