[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 11, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Nov 11 05:11:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ce64i/daily_food_diary_november_11_2016/
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This is a daily food diary thread for November 11, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Help] How to deal with weight gain after an eating disroder?t
/u/Slightlysaltedhuman
Created: Fri Nov 11 04:58:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ce4jc/how_to_deal_with_weight_gain_after_an_eating/
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If this is not the subreddit for this post please tell me where it should be.

TW : weight gain, bulimia, binging (and purging feeling)



I think I gained 40 pounds from the height of my bulimia to "fully" (tonight I purged after since the last time which was 4 months ago) recovering. Which the start was 4 years ago and recover probably 3 or 2 years ago.


I also rarely binged, I just ate typical meals and purged as much as I could after those. It's sick to think but when I had a weekly binge I would bring food in the bathroom so I could throw it up easier.



I was a fat bulimic (which is why my ex-anorexic nmom caught me purging more than once but never got me help, because I was fat/normal sized) and I'm an even more fat survivor.


I used to be so confident even at the same size this summer (I went to the beach in a bikini, I wore shorts, I wrote just a bralette and a skirt one day idk)

Like that weight gain as got to me a lot. Thinking I was a universally wanted and desired size to this unwanted/hated size.



I can't deal with it, like I can't wrap my head around it and I know I'll go back into the cycle of 1.5 years of bulimia and then recovering and gaining weight all over again.


Now I can get help, for free on campus but I don't want it. Idk I don't feel like I deserve it and I also like keeping it a secret.


The whole day after I purged I just realized I can start purging and stop being so guilty and for some sick reason I love that light headed, shaky high I get for even hours after I purge a meal.


Edit : some spelling

[Discussion] DAE have oddly specific goals/fantasies?
/u/namelessgia
Created: Fri Nov 11 04:19:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ce01s/dae_have_oddly_specific_goalsfantasies/
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For example, I have a clear image in my head of myself walking into a particular library once I've reached my UGW to check out a book about EDs, and getting a sympathetic look from the library lady. I can picture the outfit I want to wear and all! I haven't been to a library in years, and the library I'm imagining is one that I've only ever been to once, but now that I've had the thought I'm super determined to do exactly that once I lose the weight. I've got a couple more like this but I won't ramble on, I'm just curious to see if anybody else has any really odd goals like this?

[Help] Please talk to me. I've locked myself in the school bathroom, because I'm too stressed about having lunch. I'm really not okay.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 11 03:11:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5cdsb9/please_talk_to_me_ive_locked_myself_in_the_school/
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It's roughly 700 calories of pasta, but I just couldn't today. I've been in here for almost two hours. I'm just not okay. I dont even care what you tell me, I just need someone that understands me.
I'm not sure if this is allowed, but I couldn't think of anywhere else to go.



[Rant/Rave] At least we admit we're crazy.
/u/CowOffTheFarm [65" | 145 | 24.41 | - | F | GW 120]
Created: Thu Nov 10 22:16:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ccsxw/at_least_we_admit_were_crazy/
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[removed]

[Thinspo] Hey, everyone. Time for some nostalgic Thinspo.
/u/FionaSeesInColor
Created: Thu Nov 10 20:16:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ccag8/hey_everyone_time_for_some_nostalgic_thinspo/
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https://youtu.be/FFOzayDpWoI

[Thinspo] Thinspo album because I'm really needing it to get out of this binge, purge cycle
/u/jiuel1 [5'4"(barely yay) | 122.6 | 20.9 | -12 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Nov 10 19:11:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5cbz8y/thinspo_album_because_im_really_needing_it_to_get/
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https://imgur.com/a/qh2zq

[Rant/Rave] Home and other reasons to binge.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 10 17:52:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5cbl9a/home_and_other_reasons_to_binge/
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[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] shamed and embarrassed in front of all my friends
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 10 17:47:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5cbki0/shamed_and_embarrassed_in_front_of_all_my_friends/
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[deleted]

[Tip] What to do AFTER a binge
/u/get-fucking-thin [5'5" | 142 | 23.63 | -10 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 10 17:35:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5cbia3/what_to_do_after_a_binge/
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Hey guys,

I fucked up. After many days of restriction, I binged. On the day before my weekly weigh in.

Yay.

Anyways, I've seen so many posts on preventing a binge, but I haven't seen very many on what to do *after* a binge. I put together a list that I think can help a lot of us on this lovely sub, so here it is.

- Treat yourself with kindness. I need you to promise me right now that you will NOT self harm after a binge. Treat yourself like you would treat a loved one.
- That being said, don't use it as an allowance to binge again.
- Remember that we are all human. We make mistakes.
- Drink drink drink. Drink water or green tea. Avoid coffee because it's dehydrating and may be a bit counterproductive.
- Eat a piece of fruit or snack on some fresh veggies. It'll make your body feel cleaner. I know that after I binge, I feel dirty and gross. Munching on a piece of celery or some grapes can help a lot.
- Exercise. Take to the cardio machine and do half an hour. I sometimes feel like after I binge, the damage has been done. However, exercising after a binge will a. Take off some of the damage and b. Make you feel better.
- Talk to your friends. Pick up the phone and chat.
- Post here! Get some support. You're never alone.
- Do NOT think that you're back at square one. You've worked so hard - this is just a teeny tiny setback. You're in control of this operation, and sometimes even the strongest people fall. Get back up. You can do this.

I love each and every one of you and I hope that this list will help you guys just as much as it helped me <3

[Rant/Rave] I just baked and threw away a cake
/u/Castoroilexperiment [5'6 | 105 | 29F| 17.68]
Created: Thu Nov 10 17:21:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5cbfs4/i_just_baked_and_threw_away_a_cake/
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I found this recipe http://www.foodiefiasco.com/healthy-texas-sheet-cake/#comment-91469 which claimed to have 50 calories a slice. I am dumb and I made it without verifying it in my fitness pal. I don't know how the recipe creator came to 50 calories for 1/12 of the cake when there's 1100 calories in just the flour.

My husband and kids had a piece. I tried a piece, I knew I wouldn't be able to stop so I dumped the entire cake in the trash. Then I pulled old gross trash on top of it so my husband wouldn't see. What a waste of cocoa powder and almond milk.

[Rant/Rave] I've started to dread being at home
/u/smallsmallersmallest [166.5cm | CW 50.8kg GW 44kg | 18.46 | -10.2kg | F]
Created: Thu Nov 10 17:09:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5cbdfk/ive_started_to_dread_being_at_home/
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Home is where the food is and where I'm at my weakest. When I'm at college it's so easy to say no to food and I don't even have to pay for it so it's not because it's expensive, I'm just not tempted and if I am it's very easy to dismiss. And then I go home and there's so much food in and it's all just there for me to eat and I have no control over what's in the house because I live at home still and ugh :( I just constantly feel like running away. I would go on walks but it's getting dark and the only places there are to walk around where I live are unlit and isolated and covered by trees and that's scary so I feel like I have nowhere to escape to, I have no car, there's nowhere to go in this village, just :( I hate that food is making me hate my own home. I wish I was strong enough to have food near me and be able to say no.

[Help] Best protein shake?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 10 16:49:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5cb9ty/best_protein_shake/
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[deleted]

[Goal] another committing to a binge-free week thread, day 1!
/u/leatherhoff [5"3 | 130 | ftm (not on hrt yet)]
Created: Thu Nov 10 15:09:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5caq4u/another_committing_to_a_bingefree_week_thread_day/
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hi everyone! as the title suggests, i made a post yesterday inviting people to join me in committing to a binge free week. got quite a bit of feedback , which is great! heres to hoping we will all be able to succeed.

~~i was considering today as my day 1. ive got a lot of coursework to do over the next few days and because i prioritise my education over my mental health i forced myself to get some lunch so i could focus better. got some chilli chicken pasta and i felt bad about eating it all at first but im actually glad i did, cos it was really filling! i actually felt satisfied for the first time in ages, which was honestly felt a little unsettling cos im used to either being hungry or recovering from a binge... but its certainly not a bad thing! i had it about 11 hours ago and im still not too hungry. so todays been a good start.~~ WOOPS NVM GUESS WHO FUCKED UP ALREADY

how has everyone else's first day been? i hope youve all had a good start too :-) if not thats okay, you can start again tomorrow! no worries. we can do this. good luck and take care everyone <3

calling all who joined:

/u/smokesanddietcokes
/u/rainbowsunshinedust
/u/hellosex
/u/diekorrekturen
/u/IAMABaguetteAMA
/u/eboneezah
/u/victoria-stuff
/u/fluffydaffodil
/u/dnedna
/u/diet247x
/u/eeveecakes
/u/smallsmallersmallest
/u/TheMostExoticFlower
/u/glipglopsfromthe3rdD
/u/Rhyanon
/u/deanhipchester
/u/bonedust_pale
/u/bloodketosexmagic
/u/chrrie
/u/fringeandbinge
/u/water-coffee-tea
/u/Im_A_Whale_AMA
/u/concuidado
/u/fondletime
/u/dogfucker_420
/u/three_two_bone
/u/salt_skin

let me know if i forgot you or if you want to join in !

[Help] time-frame for losing 85 lbs?
/u/colour-of-sky
Created: Thu Nov 10 14:50:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5cam0e/timeframe_for_losing_85_lbs/
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[removed]

[Help] Struggling to gain again. Anyone have advice?
/u/WhatShouldIWearToday [5'5" | 104.2 | 18.35 | (Post Pregnancy) | F]
Created: Thu Nov 10 14:31:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5cai13/struggling_to_gain_again_anyone_have_advice/
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I'm looking for advice on how to gain. I last posted a progress pic at maybe 111lbs. My flair says 104, but I think I'm probably right about 99. (Haven't weighed in a few days.)

I have this weird obsession with staying under 100lbs. At this point, it's more of a numbers mindgame than a vision one.

I don't think I look as good or womanly anymore. I am now at the point where everyone asks if I'm okay. I don't like having that much attention/concern on me.

If I'm being honest, I think I look best at 115-125. I wish I could make sense of that in my head. Those numbers just SOUND fat to me, so I don't want to be there. I wear a size 2 around those sizes. I feel like size 0/23in waist jeans aren't slightly loose on me, then I'm fat.

Does anyone else have this problem? Knowing you look too thin but you're unable to let the scale climb? I've been trying to weigh myself less, but that actually just makes me more worried about food and I end up overlogging everything to make sure I don't overeat. Ugh.

[Rant/Rave] I love watching people make food. ❤
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 10 14:19:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5cafj0/i_love_watching_people_make_food/
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[deleted]

[Discussion] Purging through work-outs
/u/hereitgoes_again
Created: Thu Nov 10 13:51:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ca9sb/purging_through_workouts/
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[removed]

[Goal] More motivation to not gain
/u/slytherinsedona [5'5 | 115.0 | 19.1 | -25.0 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 10 13:41:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ca7ne/more_motivation_to_not_gain/
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Since coming to college I've lost over ten pounds, and none of my clothes fit me the way that they should. As a result I feel even worse about myself, and finally got fed up with it. So today I took them all to get altered, and the alteration lady was pinning my clothes and asked me, "do you really think you're going to stay this same size?"

In response to you lady:

Fuck yeah I am.

[Rant/Rave] Its over
/u/K_iwi
Created: Thu Nov 10 13:40:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ca7hh/its_over/
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Its a negative title for such a happy post <3

Today I woke up and had two slices of toast (90) with some PB fit (50). And i saw some left over halloween candies (a fun size snickers) and I thought in my head "I'm' going to eat that."

And I reached for it.

But something in me just *clicked* and I didn't eat it. Im tired of crying when I look at the scale. Im tired of being 126 on a good day. Im tired of not having control, the cycle of eating then hating myself then eating more and more.

Its over. I threw away the snickers, but even if it was there I wouldn't eat it. Im strong. I control what I eat. I feel free and light now that I'm restricting again. Theres nothing more empowering than saying no. Its comforting, in a way. Staying sub 800 feels safe, like wearing a cozy jacket.

I missed this.

[Rant/Rave] [rant] I can't eat anything without eating everything
/u/disbeetch [5'3'' | 140 | 23.7 | -34 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 10 13:35:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ca6j5/rant_i_cant_eat_anything_without_eating_everything/
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I started off the day with a yogurt instead of my usual nothing, and it has led into a binge. I ordered a huge thing of pho for lunch, at the whole thing, and on top of that several handfuls of chocolate chips and a granola bar. And it's not even 3 pm yet. Fuck

[Help] I am a raging bitch when I don't eat.
/u/CowOffTheFarm [65" | 145 | 24.41 | - | F | GW 120]
Created: Thu Nov 10 13:14:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ca1z9/i_am_a_raging_bitch_when_i_dont_eat/
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I've finally gotten good at skipping breakfast and lunch (or having something <150 calories. It's a lot easier to tell myself "no eating until after I get home from class. The only problem is that i'm a cunt to my boyfriend from the time I get home until I make something decent to eat.

I usually just want quiet and some time to myself, but we live in a tiny apartment (can't avoid him) and he's all over me from being deprived from human contact all day long.

Also, i'm starting to have a hard time quelling the late night munchies and going over my calorie goal by about 300 cals every day. Even with that splurge I'm below my BMR. It's a good excuse in the moment but I feel guilty about it the next day.

Halp?

[Rant/Rave] Odd Motivation
/u/Alexa1p [5'5'' | 110 | 18 | -10.7 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 10 12:15:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c9per/odd_motivation/
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My boyfriend broke up with me last week. A few days later, he held me close to him, and whispered fiercely in my ear he wouldn't give up on our relationship, and we got back together.

Monday afternoon he told me he didn't love me like I did him, and we were over. He left me curled in a ball on my floor, sobbing. I felt like a piece of my heart was ripped out. I didn't see it coming, I was so happy being with him.

I'm a little worried at how easy it is to just... not care about eating. I'm trying so hard to take control of my life. I'm throwing myself into my textbooks, focusing on learning new ideas, and planning what I'm going to do with my life now that I'm being forced to move across the country and back in with my parents.

When I was dating him, I felt happy. I still hated how I looked in the mirror, but that somehow didn't matter as much. Now?

There's nothing stopping me from getting closer to a body I find beautiful.



[Discussion] Worried about Thanksgiving
/u/diet247x [5'3 | CW: 139 | -16 lbs | GW: 90 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Nov 10 12:01:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c9mk1/worried_about_thanksgiving/
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I'm really dreading it this year. I've been maintaining a fatter frame for the past two years, but have recently slipped into the old ED mentality due to some work related stress. At this point, I don't want to fight my old tendancies because I really do need to lose at least 20 pounds.

My family has already noticed that I've lost a bit of weight, and I'm afraid they might be more aware of what I'm eating when I go home for Thanksgiving. Do you guys in the US get super stressed about this holiday? I'm trying to have a better mentality approaching it but it's giving me a ton of anxiety.


[Goal] I've gone a whole month without bingeing!!!
/u/antimeridian [mellon collie and the infinite fatness]
Created: Thu Nov 10 10:40:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c958p/ive_gone_a_whole_month_without_bingeing/
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I'm so happy. I honestly don't know how I've done it, but I haven't slipped up once. Maybe the meds really are helping...I've never made it this long before. Just had to share!

[Other] I'm back?
/u/ooo5936 [5'6" | 128lbs | 20.47 | GW: <114 | -10lbs | F]
Created: Thu Nov 10 10:13:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c8zhz/im_back/
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I guess I never really left, I just haven't posted/upvoted/commented in this sub in about 3 months.

I got married, moved, and have been on the job hunt. Since all of that... I've been diagnosed with depression. To add to the all the other stress.

My husband is gone for the weekend with some friends and I'm hoping to do a 72 hour fast to help me realize I *am* still in control over what I put in my body. Wish me luck! I've missed you all and your support.

[Discussion] Continuation of the face progress thread.
/u/gastastic [5'1 | 118.0 | 26F]
Created: Thu Nov 10 10:09:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c8ypa/continuation_of_the_face_progress_thread/
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So I noticed a lot of people chiming in to say they have a round face and/or chubby cheeks. I've always felt this about myself too. It's my biggest insecurity. I had no idea it was so common here.

Which makes me think... is this another result of our disordered thinking and body dysmorphia? We can't all have ridiculously round faces and chubby cheeks, can we?

[Tip] Tip
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 115 | 19.66 | :(+30pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Thu Nov 10 10:03:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c8xem/tip/
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https://i.redd.it/jcxs261fqtwx.jpg

[Discussion] Restricting and Dreams
/u/SanguineSmiles [5'4" | 126.9 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 10 09:52:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c8v5h/restricting_and_dreams/
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Does anyone else get vivid dreams when they are restricting? Is it because your body is spending less time digesting so it can spend more time in REM?

If anyone has an explanation, idea, pr just want to share their own weird dreams then I'd love to hear it. I'll share mine in the comments.

[Discussion] What can I do before the gym
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 10 09:00:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c8kc4/what_can_i_do_before_the_gym/
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[deleted]

[Help] How to make Thanksgiving better for cousin with ED?
/u/acertaingestault
Created: Thu Nov 10 08:59:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c8k5a/how_to_make_thanksgiving_better_for_cousin_with_ed/
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My mom grew up the second of six cousins. The oldest cousin is about 55, and for most of her life she's suffered from body dysmorphia which she's treated with binging and purging. Thinning hair, stomach ulcers, fake teeth, extreme weightlifting were the first signs I noticed as a kid, but as I got older I would hear her throwing up after meals and then watch her pile a second plate full of more than I would think such a petite woman could eat at all, much less for seconds. She and I probably see each other max twice a year, and Thanksgiving is one of those times. She doesn't know I know, and I want to make her feel more comfortable this year. Our family does a potluck buffet so I have little control over the menu. Do you all have any suggestions? Would she be relieved to have someone else know (I think all the cousins already do.) or would it just put a wedge between us? What forms of help or comfort would you accept in a situation like this?

[Other] I'm staring at a tray of free mini muffins. [Other]
/u/chicklet2011 [5'6" | 152# | 26% | -38# | F]
Created: Thu Nov 10 08:05:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c89hj/im_staring_at_a_tray_of_free_mini_muffins_other/
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My Uni's library is typically a food-free safe space for me. But there are left over mini muffins from an event earlier this morning right across from me. I'm an IF kind of person, so I'm not supposed to eat until around 4:30 today. But they're right there and they're free. But they're filled with sugar. If I go take one I'm going to hate myself all day, and I'm already bloated and muffin-topping out of my jeans today.

[Discussion] Why I look at thinspo
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | 117.8 | 19.83 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 10 08:02:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c88wr/why_i_look_at_thinspo/
---
I was thinking about this the other day and thought I would see if other people feel this way. I don't really seek out pictures of thinspo, but I appreciate tasteful images being posted here. When I look at aesthetically pleasing photos, I'm really just hiding from reality. I look at the girl with the tiny body, protruding bones, meticulously chosen outfit, carefully positioned cup of coffee, and it appeals to the perfectionist in me. It's a snapshot of what I wish my life would be like, everything in order instead of chaos. But I also know what it takes to create an image like that.

Chances are, that girl in the picture also hates her body. It was the best shot out of hundreds, the one that was acceptable to show the world, but still never good enough. Maybe she clings to it, proud of capturing a moment that showed she is "okay, just fine, not sick at all, really!" It's not reality, but if I can convince myself that it could be, it helps, if only momentarily. I don't use her body as motivation, because I know that even if I looked exactly like her, it would still not be enough. Instead, I guess it is a bandaid for my anxiety. It's a way to pretend that if I try hard enough, someday my life could be picture perfect too.

[Help] For those who beat yourself up over the number on the scale like me.
/u/tattoosandcoffeee [5'4 | GW 108 | -12]
Created: Thu Nov 10 07:53:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c87by/for_those_who_beat_yourself_up_over_the_number_on/
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http://www.womenshealthmag.com/weight-loss/weight-fluctuation-experiment

[Help] I'm not a low weight at all ( 122 5'7) but I've always had thick curly hair so shedding is normal but lately when I brush it there is a lot more breakage and strands falling out.. is there any way to prevent it?
/u/taiteisnotcool
Created: Thu Nov 10 07:17:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c8199/im_not_a_low_weight_at_all_122_57_but_ive_always/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c8199/im_not_a_low_weight_at_all_122_57_but_ive_always/

[Help] How do I deal with constant cravings for unhealthy foods? Whenever I am hungry it is always for fried fast foods.
/u/wisdom626
Created: Thu Nov 10 06:45:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c7vxh/how_do_i_deal_with_constant_cravings_for/
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https://www.iprevail.com/questions/how-do-i-deal-with-constant-cravings-for-unhealthy-foods-whe

[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support November 10, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Nov 10 05:07:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c7hvk/weekly_emotional_support_november_10_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

*****

Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 10, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Nov 10 05:07:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c7hum/daily_food_diary_november_10_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 10, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


An article about the inconveniences of being overweight. No.11 hit home.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 10 04:30:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c7df0/an_article_about_the_inconveniences_of_being/
---
[removed]

[Help] Any Tips for losing actual fat when fasting and not damage your heart?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 10 04:19:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c7c78/any_tips_for_losing_actual_fat_when_fasting_and/
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[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] food fucking up my lif per usual
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 106 lb | 21.34 | -21.5| Female]
Created: Thu Nov 10 04:02:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c7a5e/food_fucking_up_my_lif_per_usual/
---
[removed]

[Help] How do you deal with hair loss?
/u/TheMostExoticFlower [5'4 | -50lbs | F]
Created: Thu Nov 10 03:50:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c78un/how_do_you_deal_with_hair_loss/
---
My hair is falling like crazy and I don't know how to make it stop. Is there something you guys have found helpful? Since I haven't been able to even slow it down I've tried to accept it, but I can't. I try to think it's just hair but I feel like I'm losing my femininity, my whole identity :'(

[Help] Support Idea.. (comments for details)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 10 03:21:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c75si/support_idea_comments_for_details/
---
https://i.redd.it/iou2vnqlqrwx.jpg

I want to start a diet
/u/loving_life0_0
Created: Thu Nov 10 01:07:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c6ro0/i_want_to_start_a_diet/
---
[removed]

[Goal] I asked my partner which dead celebrity they find most attractive just for kicks...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 10 00:22:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c6mkj/i_asked_my_partner_which_dead_celebrity_they_find/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] I never knew I was this deep in
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 10 00:03:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c6k6e/i_never_knew_i_was_this_deep_in/
---
Until now. I feel like I have to make a decision, my boyfriend or Ed.

And it's not a decision, I don't really have a choice. Ed will be around for much longer, has been around for much longer. I'd leave Ed if I could, but he's also the one I love.

I wish he'd understand.

[Rant/Rave] I have a "photoshoot" coming up with a friend who is probably 80 pounds soaking wet and I am going to look like a blubber whale next to her.
/u/fluffydaffodil [weight never stays the same smh]
Created: Wed Nov 9 23:53:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c6ixk/i_have_a_photoshoot_coming_up_with_a_friend_who/
---
I've also been stress eating like shit lately so i'm all bloated and gross.

When the pictures come out, I think i'm going to crawl inside a hole and die :(

Do you guys have tips on looking thinner in photos?? I know of the whole arm on hip, leg bent trick thing but that's about it...fml. Right now i'm just planning on fasting but I don't know if that'll help much.



[Help] The morning after binging
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 9 23:42:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c6hfw/the_morning_after_binging/
---
Usually my body feels sore. I didn't purge yesterday, which I guess my teeth liked. But now my neck, back and stomach really hurt.

Does anyone else experience this?

[Other] [Other] My current lock screen
/u/mace__face [5'6 | CW:112 | BMI:18.08 | GW:108 | F -16lbs]
Created: Wed Nov 9 22:12:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c659o/other_my_current_lock_screen/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/d6e15f4d973d46868c7e1df6d1c1123b?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=1ace635c8a788e4d0114e2bd3a4739b3

My current lock screen
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 9 22:11:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c655i/my_current_lock_screen/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/2371671d32854d27b2591e33cb8b3d71?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=43900676ee3acd314a728900faee1e40

[Help] Fasting headache?
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | CW 114 | UGW 104 | 19.9 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 9 20:58:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c5tz9/fasting_headache/
---
Hey all,

Fasting always gives me terrible headaches. Is there any way to counteract them other than eating more?

[Rant/Rave] I realized something today
/u/iwanttoblowaway [5'9 | 126.1 | 18.29 | 21 M]
Created: Wed Nov 9 20:08:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c5lsl/i_realized_something_today/
---
Today, I finally realized something. Realizing this is neither good nor bad, it just is what it is.

Today, I realized that I will never be fully content with *any* aspect of my life, *no matter how good it becomes.* Even if I get everything I want. I will always wonder where I would be if things were different. I second guess everything to the point of obsession.

I wish I was more attractive. Deep down, I guess I know that I'm not *unattractive*, but I would love to be at the level of attractiveness where I know I'm attractive - where I would make a Tinder because I wasn't afraid of being judged by appearance and I've never had a photo taken of me that I didn't hate.

I'll always want a tighter stomach. I'll always wish I was in better shape. So what I ran 4 miles this morning, and another 4 and a half this evening? If I were better, I could have run 10 and 10. What if I didn't have that cookie today when someone brought in a tray? Why wasn't I able to pass it up? What about all the alcohol I've consumed over countless nights out? How much better would my body be if hadn't ever had any of this?

I wish I was a better designer. Deep down I know my work is top notch, but that doesn't mean a thing when I'm constantly comparing it to other people's work that I wish was my own and feeling like it doesn't come anywhere near it.

I'm afraid I'll never be truly content in a relationship. It means nothing to me to be with an attractive, caring, loving person because what if I'm settling? What if I could find someone more attractive, caring, and incredible? It's because of this I'm afraid to allow myself to fall for people. I'll meet someone, and immediately question whether or not their the best I can do. What will other people think when they see us together?

On the flip side, I've realized that I'll never be completely secure in a relationship either. Deep down, I feel like I have nothing to offer to someone that she couldn't get, plus some more, from somebody else. I feel like my life is incredibly boring. Why would she stick around when there are millions of more interesting, attractive people out there? I want a wife and children but I'm beginning to be afraid that that's never going to happen for me. I'm only 22 and I know there's still some time, but I want to know what it's like to truly and completely love someone and be loved by them in return. Sure, my parents love me. But it's not the same thing. I'm afraid at this point, it hasn't happened yet so why should I have any belief in the idea that it might happen in the future?

What if I had more friends? Would I have more to do? Would I not always be the one making an effort to do things with people? I'm terrible at actively making friends. Every friend I have just sort of happened.

I could get everything I want, and I wouldn't be happy. I know this because I have most of what I've always wanted, material wise at least. If I've ever wanted anything, within reason, I've been able to get it. My life should feel like a dream honestly, but it doesn't. And I don't think it ever will. I will always wish I could do better.



[Help] protecting your skin
/u/iwillbesmall [5'6" | 119lbs | F | GW: 99]
Created: Wed Nov 9 19:10:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c5c1v/protecting_your_skin/
---
Let's face it. I'm not going to stop purging any time soon. How do you guys help protect and/or heal your skin around your mouth when it gets raw, red,or super dry ? Mine's just this dry mess.

[Rant/Rave] I'm so tired of all this
/u/k-w- [5'5 | CW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 9 18:36:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c563s/im_so_tired_of_all_this/
---
Usually in the morning I have a Vega nutritional shake (170kcal and really yummy) to start off. Today I felt particularly shitty about myself so I just had two cups of coffee. I went to the outpatient program I go to during the day (not for ED), and I felt really fucking dizzy so I drank a lot of water and I still felt dizzy but I didn't want to eat anything because my stomach hurt and I didn't want to get fat and I didn't want people to look at me when I eat. I had to call my mom to come get me and drive me home. Then at home, I decided fuck it, and I did my dumb thing where I try to prove to myself that I don't really have an eating disorder. I ate a bowl of ramen without the flavor packet, a cup and a half of cereal with almond milk, and half a cup of ice cream, totaling to 550 calories, which I felt even shittier about. I started crying and went to the bathroom to throw up and I think I got most of it.

Fuck this. I fucking hate this. I'm sick and tired of everything. My eating disorder and my OCD run my life. I'm constantly worried that there are people secretly living in my house and waiting to kill me and that if I don't tell my cat that he's a good cat and I love him four times every time I see him, he'll die. All the people at my day program hate me and think I'm weird and awkward. I know this like it's a fact, but the staff keeps telling me that it's not true and they don't hate me, but I tell myself they're only saying that to make me calm down. And I can't just ask the other people there if they hate me and to be completely honest, because they wouldn't tell me if they did either. Everything is so tiring and stressful and my dad and his girlfriend are breaking up and she's moving out of our house and so are her kids, so there's way fewer people here and the door is unlocked a lot of the time because my brother lost his keys so there could be a person living here secretly and eating our food and no one would notice and they could kill me in my sleep. They could kill my cat too. There are plenty of knives in the kitchen. I sound fucking insane and I want everything to stop. This is a nightmare.

[Other] can we have another round of committing to a binge-free week (or more)?
/u/leatherhoff [5"3 | 130 | ftm (not on hrt yet)]
Created: Wed Nov 9 17:40:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c4w32/can_we_have_another_round_of_committing_to_a/
---
( Im not the one who originally started those posts, can't remember their username but I hope they don't mind me stealing their post idea :p ) see I've been binging constantly for at least a week and I feel if nothing else I can use social expectations/pressure from publicly committing to stop me from binging ahaha. That and I felt great last time I went a few days without binging and I want to get back to that because binging only hurts me and I want to prove to myself that I still have self control and can get over this :-) Comment if you wanna join me and I'll try to make a post every day in the same sort of style as the other ones!

[Goal] It's never too late to do the right thing. Everyone makes mistakes. You become stronger when you recognize what you did to mess up and change yourself. Never stop chasing your goals :3
/u/KajaIsForeverAlone [height:5'9 | CW: 135 BMI:20 | weight lost:25 lbs | Gender: F]
Created: Wed Nov 9 17:19:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c4sa0/its_never_too_late_to_do_the_right_thing_everyone/
---
Sorry if this isn't allowed here. I hope you all have a fantastic day <3 whether you're trying to restrict, fast, be binge free, not purge, or make it to your goal weight, eat normally, whatever your goal is, I hope you are able to conquer the day and reach your goal! Stay strong

[Discussion] Things you associate with your ED
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 9 17:17:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c4rs6/things_you_associate_with_your_ed/
---
[deleted]

Does anyone have any good cal burning exercises for me?
/u/loving_life0_0
Created: Wed Nov 9 16:41:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c4l8c/does_anyone_have_any_good_cal_burning_exercises/
---
[removed]

[Thinspo] [Thinspo] Emma Roberts has beautiful legs . . .
/u/RedBull7 [5'7" | CW: 147 lbs | BMI: 21.45 | 5 lbs | M | GW: 140 lbs]
Created: Wed Nov 9 16:40:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c4kwk/thinspo_emma_roberts_has_beautiful_legs/
---
http://i.imgur.com/RQVQGKJ.jpg

[Rant/Rave] so much guilt
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 9 16:19:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c4h20/so_much_guilt/
---
[deleted]

[Help] brusies everywhere
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 106 lb | 21.34 | -21.5| Female]
Created: Wed Nov 9 16:19:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c4h1e/brusies_everywhere/
---
honestly i dont feel like i have been restricting much more than i have in the past. but i think my body is feeling the effects. also the less i eat, the less i want to eat. like taking a bite of food repulses me and makes me feel guilty af. im doing around 1000 a day + lifting (but eating alot of protein). but besides that nothing physical yet my legs are COVERED in bruises. Ive been taking calcium + vitamin c + iron- does anyone else know how to hide this or stop this? people keep commenting and i dont want anyone to worry about my eating. its finally gotten to the point where people call me skinny (still have flab tho so idk why)

[Rant/Rave] My college apparently hates me...
/u/hopelessly--hopeful [5'4" | puts whales to shame| -20 | F| 22]
Created: Wed Nov 9 16:17:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c4gqr/my_college_apparently_hates_me/
---
So up until today I was breezing through school with an entire suite to myself, I have a single room for one person, and then there is a double room for one or two people with a shared hallway and bathroom. This was nice for my restricting and fasting, as well as a private bathroom for the occasional b/p. I got an email today from res life telling me that I would have a new roommate for the rest of the year, and they move in tonight...I guess I can kiss my b/p sessions goodbye, and enjoy the ridiculous anxiety levels I will experience. I even tried to get them to put the girl somewhere else by telling them that I have a lot of anxiety and don't want to spend my senior year of college walking on eggshells and afraid of my roommate...I had a full blown panic attack just reading the email. So there goes my sanity and sanctuary...weird that we're all abut creating places to feel safe and now I don't even feel safe in my own room...

Size is the prize.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 9 15:48:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c4ay5/size_is_the_prize/
---
[removed]

[Other] I made some lists
/u/smallsmallersmallest [166.5cm | CW 50.8kg GW 44kg | 18.46 | -10.2kg | F]
Created: Wed Nov 9 15:33:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c483s/i_made_some_lists/
---
http://imgur.com/a/l0NCw

[Tip] Clothes Shopping Tips & Tricks Exchange!
/u/deanhipchester [5' | 114.2 lbs | 23.29 | -28 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Nov 9 14:50:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c3za6/clothes_shopping_tips_tricks_exchange/
---
[removed]

[Tip] Clothes Shopping!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 9 14:48:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c3yxe/clothes_shopping/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] not sure if this allowed but please, i just want to say something.
/u/ikillsouls [5' 2" | 104 | 19.0 | Ugw: 85 |19f]
Created: Wed Nov 9 14:31:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c3v7d/not_sure_if_this_allowed_but_please_i_just_want/
---
I just want all of you to know that if this election has/ will have a negative effect on you, I am here for you. If you need to talk/ rant I am here.

I know for a few it does not matter, but a lot of us feel in danger due to our race/ skin color/ sex/ gender/ sexual orientation, etc.

please stay safe, Im here, there are people who care.

[Meme/Humor (SUNDAYS ONLY)] Planning for Thanksgiving is ten times harder now.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 9 14:21:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c3t2o/planning_for_thanksgiving_is_ten_times_harder_now/
---
[removed]

[Help] At what sort of BMI/underweight-ness do doctors start to interfere? Also does anyone have any experience with hypoglycaemia?
/u/Theremustbeafreeuser
Created: Wed Nov 9 14:18:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c3sk5/at_what_sort_of_bmiunderweightness_do_doctors/
---
[removed]

[Tip] I love Tim Hortons
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 9 13:35:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c3je7/i_love_tim_hortons/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Turns out eating DOES have benefits. I still don't trust it.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [Everybody's Fool]
Created: Wed Nov 9 13:34:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c3j6s/turns_out_eating_does_have_benefits_i_still_dont/
---
Really bad cold virus since Monday morning.

Fasted Monday

Kept to below 500kcal yesterday.

Today felt so rotten and awful and hungry that I grazed all day starting at about 5am. Healthy foods mainly, but cals have gotten way high.

Feeling 10x better now, cold-wise.

Feel like eating is luring me into a false sense of security by helping me and making me think it's an alright guy, before stabbing me in the back and making me fat again.

[Discussion] Feeder documentaries
/u/420blazefiend [5'4'' | 119.05 | 19.83 | -22 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 9 13:19:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c3g2m/feeder_documentaries/
---
Anyone know any good doccies about feeders and obese partners?

[Discussion] Anyone fast until they reached a certain weight?
/u/cheeekyslug [5'5" - 19F - never good enough anyways]
Created: Wed Nov 9 13:15:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c3f78/anyone_fast_until_they_reached_a_certain_weight/
---
Anyone fast until they reached a certain weight? I've noticed that most my anxiety comes from time and schedules, but if I just do what I said I was going to do without any rules or regulations, I notice I do better and even get faster progress to it without much stress.

I mean obviously I know the precautions, I know how to listen to my body, but I miss the control of weight and my body that I used to have. I probably would of plenty of water, black coffee, some broth here and there. Has anyone ever approached weight loss this way?

[Rant/Rave] i just need to rant. emotional eating sucks
/u/LazyFawn [165 cm | 54.4 kg | 19.98 cuz im petty | 18 f]
Created: Wed Nov 9 12:20:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c33fb/i_just_need_to_rant_emotional_eating_sucks/
---
sorry about this whole wall of text thing. i'm not even sure i have an ED. like. i have to eat every day because of my medicine. so it's not real enough for me to stop that. i just need to get it all out and make that promise to myself. i hate hating myself after every meal i don't skip. i hate feeling guilty even though i ate the banana instead of the cupcake. idk. i just need to vent about my past week.

i took a break because i'm so embarassed about how much i've binged this weekend. it started friday. i was with friends all day. ate two slices of pizza and drank hot chocolate. it fit within 1000 calories for my day, but boy did it start a trip down hell.

saturday i met up with my old school for the whole day. i ate bread, more pizza, got shitfaced drunk (dooleys and cocio is the bane of my existence).. still within my tdee.

sunday was terrible. i had a huge hangover, i was tired, my mom was a fucking sack of brown stuff (as always) -> i cried for 40 minutes straight while baking a fucking peanut butter cake and downed the whole pan... yeah... but it gets worse. she then got mad at me for eating a whole cake, then i got fucked up sad again and ate popcorn and cookies. i hate myself

monday was also crap. i got sick. went home with friends. baked muffins. ate three. ate a shitload of pasta and bread. fml why

tuesday was okay right until i got home. i'd eaten my planned 212 kcal + an unplanned banana (tried not to give myself shit for this considering the days before it). but when i got home.. well, mom happened. ate what i estimate to be 800 kcal during dinner + a 300 kcal snack before it. great.

onto today. i ate 1098 kcal. i feel guilty every time i eat. i do well otherwise. i got up at 5 today. i drove a car today for the very first time. i went to school immediately after. i went to the doctors after that. i came home, cooked dinner. did homework. had to go sit with family while they eat. and now i'm here. this is literally the first free time i have in 15 hours, and the first thing that jumps into my mind is how much of a fat, pathetic failure i am.

but yeah. about tomorrow. which is really the point of all of this. i will fast until dinner. and friday, i will fast until dinner. and saturday, i will fast until dinner. and sunday, i will fast until dinner. i promise this, to myself, for myself.

tl;dr i am a shitty emotional eater, who cannot prioritize correctly. i will only be eating after six for the rest of this week. also, my mom sucks

[Rant/Rave] DAE hate when someone says shit like this
/u/sippingcherrycola
Created: Wed Nov 9 11:56:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c2xyp/dae_hate_when_someone_says_shit_like_this/
---
[removed]

[Help] Getting through a buffet dinner?
/u/scaredalternate [5'5'' | 163 | GW 160 | UGW 120 | -57lbs | M]
Created: Wed Nov 9 11:41:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c2uzi/getting_through_a_buffet_dinner/
---
My boyfriend's birthday is on Friday and I could not refuse going out with him and his family. He chose a Thai food all you can eat buffet dinner. I'm not going to make them pay $20 just so I can sit there and eat nothing because I'd probably feel even worse, and I also don't want to let my eating habits ruin a night that should be fun and carefree.

How can I get myself through this dinner with less guilt and anxiety?

[Rant/Rave] [Rant] This is hell. Too ill to be well, too well to be ill.
/u/purplejasmine
Created: Wed Nov 9 11:21:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c2q9z/rant_this_is_hell_too_ill_to_be_well_too_well_to/
---
Battling with ED behaviours, feel like I'm being dragged kicking and screaming into an ED.

Everything I eat I want to throw up. Forcing myself to eat a semi-reasonable diet feels like torture. All I want to do is starve myself. I either can't stand eating, or I forget I have this stupid compulsion, make something in a fit of "feed yourself be healthy" etc and feel horrific, and sit staring at it, and feel horrible, and make myself eat it, and then just desperately want to throw it back up and get it all out.

Except I can't, because what if my flatmates notice, and get pissed off at me, except that reason is why I'm not SI-ing so I have to do *something* so which will it be?

I never used to be like this. I used to just have occasional ED thoughts, and I'd make them go away, only every time they came back they were a bit stronger, I'd starve a bit longer, feel a little bit more fat even though I knew I wasn't, and now it's starting to take hold and I cannot stop it no matter how hard I try because resisting is *hell*.

I'll eat barely anything for days, then crack, want to be 'better' (despite not even having a disease, I tell myself) and stuff my face (but only eating as much as I 'normally' would). So I never seem to lose weight (although I can't tell, because I'm at uni with no scales. So I'm not weighing myself, so I can't have a problem. Even if I'd like to be every day). I know I'm not fat. I *know* theoretically I'm slim. But I can't see that, 90% of the time.

I can't stand this. I don't want to have an ED. So why do I feel like I have one?

[Rant/Rave] Rant: Jealousy over casual meal skippers
/u/Gabi_Cat [5'5" | CW:125 | BMI: 20.7 | -75 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Nov 9 10:24:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c2dws/rant_jealousy_over_casual_meal_skippers/
---
I feel like I really have fallen off the wagon since Halloween, esp since my birthday was two days ago. It seems like the next two weeks are going to be busy with family/holiday/birthday festivities which means more food and I'm stressed and I'm gaining...
Yesterday at a friend's house my friend's super skinny boyfriend finished off a pint of ice cream in about ten minutes and I said, "If I had your metabolism, I'd die!" but both he and my friend corrected me, so matter of fact-ly that it wasn't a fast metabolism but rather that he just doesn't eat breakfast or lunch and LONG STORY SHORT: why can't I be the skinny person who casually skips meals and gets no response instead of someone disordered who constantly messes up her eating habits... and gets no where.
TL;DR: I could be that thin, but apparently I lack the ability to just NOT EAT.

[Discussion] eating with the school nurse part two!!
/u/kennedyconnolly [5'9| 120 | 17.4]
Created: Wed Nov 9 09:59:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c28du/eating_with_the_school_nurse_part_two/
---
well, i just finished lunch. she barely watched me. i just put it in my pockets when she wasn't looking and threw it out when i left. phew that was easy. i was so stressed.

[Discussion] About those iffy posts...
/u/citrus_cunt [5' 9"| 142lbs | 19.5| +5lbs | F]
Created: Wed Nov 9 09:50:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c26bp/about_those_iffy_posts/
---
As I'm sure a lot of us have noticed, there's been an increase in distinctly "proana" type posts here and I just want to point out that there *are* subreddits strictly for posts like that. I understand people want to post things like that here bc we're an active community but I promise if everyone took their shit and moved it to places like r/thinspocommunity and r/ProAnaMPA those subs would prosper and we wouldn't have to deal with it.

I also understand in many situations it's people who are new to this sort of social group and don't understand the mores and unspoken etiquette. That's okay, you're learning and you're eager to share with like-minded individuals. All I'm saying is maybe look into other posting options. 🙏

Thandie Newton?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 9 06:46:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c15re/thandie_newton/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] (Rant) I threw up and he laughed in my face.
/u/raspberryfleur [5'6 | 127 | 20.5 | -30 | Female]
Created: Wed Nov 9 06:03:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c0ydy/rant_i_threw_up_and_he_laughed_in_my_face/
---
Mobile no flair blah blah

Okay so I was on my 48th hour of fasting. I was at work. I decided to break my fast because I was getting nauseous to the point of vomiting, seeing white and I could barely keep a straight conversation.

I was working with one of my friends, and I had a small piece of caramilk and a handful of sour skittles. (It was the only "food" I had around for a while, I'm aware this is a terrible choice) Oh my god the anxiety was terrible. I had to purge it. I was gonna get fat. I looked sick to my stomach anyway so I guess that help with believability.

So I came back and he LAUGHS in my face saying "haha it's because you only eat sugar!! That's why you're so sick all the time!!" And then proceeded to tell his friend and everyone around him

Fuck you. I was in there forcing out some of the most fucking sour vomit and all you can do is make fun of me.

I want to cry ugh

[Rant/Rave] I'm never getting out of it, because bullies.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 9 05:30:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c0t3o/im_never_getting_out_of_it_because_bullies/
---
[deleted]

[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday November 09, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Nov 9 05:09:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c0pvc/way_to_go_wednesday_november_09_2016/
---

This is the weekly achievement thread for November 09, 2016.

This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!

*****

Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 09, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Nov 9 05:08:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c0pun/daily_food_diary_november_09_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 09, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Other] A long-read article someone else might relate to: the concept of the 'cool girl'
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 9 04:02:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c0gq0/a_longread_article_someone_else_might_relate_to/
---
https://www.buzzfeed.com/annehelenpetersen/jennifer-lawrence-and-the-history-of-cool-girls?utm_term=.rrqV7Q8kek#.vi4JGPjkmk

[Tip] Drink peppermint tea with 0 cal Equal after a binge and purge.
/u/kinaadman [5'1" | SW 210 | CW 110 | GW: 90 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 9 03:51:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c0f70/drink_peppermint_tea_with_0_cal_equal_after_a/
---
It takes care of acid reflux and gets rid of the vommy taste in your mouth.


(In other news, I just purged 1kg of food out of my system. It was a pretty effective purge, tbh. I know it's sick, but I'm kind of impressed.)

[Rant/Rave] Want 2 die
/u/loving_life0_0
Created: Wed Nov 9 02:52:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5c07bi/want_2_die/
---
[removed]

[Help] Feeling weak after BM?
/u/scandinaviandreams [6'0" | 131 | 17.93 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 9 01:54:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bzygo/feeling_weak_after_bm/
---
Lately I've felt weak and light headed after a BM, and it usually takes a couple of hours before I feel fine again. Do any of you experience this?

[Rant/Rave] I can't believe I fucking ate all of this today
/u/iwanttoblowaway [5'9 | 126.1 | 18.29 | 21 M]
Created: Wed Nov 9 01:25:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bzt53/i_cant_believe_i_fucking_ate_all_of_this_today/
---
Ugh oh my god I hate myself. I had been doing so good for weeks. Then today happened. I had my free krispy kreme donut for breakfast. Literally first donut I've eaten in 2 years. I got a sour cream glazed cake donut. Then I ate some halloween kit kats (3 i think to be exact). Then for dinner I had a couple slices of pizza and 5 Oktoberfests and nachos watching the election with my friends. I just hate that I did all of that. I had my food planned for today and I blew it. And on top of all this other bullshit I didnt have time to go for a run

[Help] Out of Control
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 9 00:04:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bzbf5/out_of_control/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] Eh
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 8 23:53:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bz8wz/eh/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Woke up feeling very sick, went and ate my last Quest bar and a bunch of peanut butter
/u/smokesanddietcokes [Everybody's Fool]
Created: Tue Nov 8 23:29:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bz3pm/woke_up_feeling_very_sick_went_and_ate_my_last/
---
It's like I felt so hungry and rotten, I went down in a trance. Not a bingey trance, just a 'need some food nao' trance. 'Bunch of peanut butter' was probably about two tablespoons.

Meh. Spose that's what I get for fasting and then restricting the last two days whilst knowing I was sick

*~faceplants~* I seriously don't know if I could feel worse about myself right now.. although very strangely, somehow too sick to really care. What I mean is I know I feel terrible for eating but at the same time I am so exhausted it's like I can't dwell on it. It's just a vague 'Well, I'm a disgusting fatty and I'll never lose this weight and that's just my life' kinda feeling.

Wouldn't feel half as bad if I hadn't eaten myself stupid the last two weeks already

Still, such is life. I'll die eventually anyway and then none of this will matter

/grumpy

[Other] On the plus side, this election night has killed my appetite for the foreseeable future.
/u/TessTobias [5'5" | 120 | 19.7 | -22]
Created: Tue Nov 8 22:25:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5byqmd/on_the_plus_side_this_election_night_has_killed/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] DAE have partners that just don't get it? This isn't about wanting to look like a fashion model!
/u/NaturalBlonde91 [5'6"|CW:148|GW:125|UGW:120|Female]
Created: Tue Nov 8 22:07:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bymu3/dae_have_partners_that_just_dont_get_it_this_isnt/
---
I've been feeling even more disgusting about my weight and body lately, and my partner has noticed. I know that she is nothing but loving and wants to be supportive, but her reassurances always come back to "you're beautiful, you're not fat, those models in the magazines aren't real and don't look like that all the time". Her compliments are lovely, but my issues have little to do with vanity or wanting to look like a VS angel. They stem from depression and low self-esteem, which I've had since I was a 7-8 year old that had exactly 0 concern about her size and weight. My weight is just a convenient thing I can focus on in my quest to fucking hate myself. I explained this to her and I think she heard me, even if she doesn't really get it. It just bugs me that so many people believe that EDs/negative body image is all about worshipping models in magazines and wanting to look like Natalie Portman. If only it were that easy.

Thanks for letting me rant. It helped me avert the 2,000 calorie binge I was positively itching to go on, and after eating like a pig today as usual I really didn't need to add that to my total calorie intake.

[Goal] Election day "game" for ED lovers
/u/fourfoldcat [5'4 | 113 |19.4 | -32 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 8 21:46:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5byi7q/election_day_game_for_ed_lovers/
---
Tonight I'm sitting with my friends while they drink to states that typically swing towards a certain party. So I decided to make my own version, ED friendly! If Clinton win, I will drink only coffee and tea for the next three days with no food.
If Trump wins, I won't eat for a week.
I'll know tomorrow :)

Edit: trump won, not even gonna lie, I hope this week kills me.

[Discussion] Discussion Cabbage!
/u/Castoroilexperiment [5'6 | 105 | 29F| 17.68]
Created: Tue Nov 8 21:45:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5byi4g/discussion_cabbage/
---
I am literally sick over this election, so I will tell you all of the beauty that is cabbage. I eat cabbage like it's going out of style. When i'm craving something salty, I dip the raw leaves in ranch popcorn seasoning powder. For sweet cravings, I dip it in splenda. Sometimes I bake it, sometimes raw. I know it sounds gross and weird. Cabbage is my bf4l

[Rant/Rave] My crush noticed me!!!
/u/RetailSlaveNo1 [🐷 5'2 | NB-dfab | CW: 163.6lb | 29.9/31.0 | UGW: 90lb | -26.4lb]
Created: Tue Nov 8 20:19:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5by0cx/my_crush_noticed_me/
---
[removed]

[Help] would a zero cal drink fast work for weight loss?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 8 19:51:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bxv5u/would_a_zero_cal_drink_fast_work_for_weight_loss/
---
[removed]

[Goal] I'm so done with feeling out of control.
/u/salamanderqueen [5'9.5"| CW: 141.6 | SW: 180 | GW: 125 | -38 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 8 19:48:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bxulw/im_so_done_with_feeling_out_of_control/
---
The past few weeks have been a binge fest for me. In less than a month I went from 148.4 to 151. Had I just kept my self control I could have been below 140 by now. It's the worst cycle of self hate, eating more and hating myself for it, so dealing with it by eating more.

I'm starting a 4 day fast tonight, my longest yet. I need this, I miss feeling empty and clean. I hate not feeling like I have control over my body. I'm done feeling hopeless.

[Discussion] Who else feels this way?
/u/blueblissboy
Created: Tue Nov 8 19:41:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bxter/who_else_feels_this_way/
---
https://youtu.be/OTz7fkqs08Q

[Help] Yohimbine/Caffiene stacking
/u/k-w- [5'5 | CW 95 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 8 17:33:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bx5iq/yohimbinecaffiene_stacking/
---
I've been looking for appetite suppressants for a while and I've heard a lot about EC stacking here. You have to be 18 to get bronkaid over the counter, though, so I did some cursory research and came up with Yohimbine, which supposedly is a stimulant, appetite suppressant, and it does something with your metabolism (I don't know exactly) to make it easier to lose weight. Do any of you have experience with this, on its own or in combination with caffiene?

I ordered it on Amazon and it should be here tomorrow. I'm *kind of* impulsive /s

[Rant/Rave] My mom pinched my fat
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 8 16:47:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bww69/my_mom_pinched_my_fat/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] IP experience, a warning
/u/missciara
Created: Tue Nov 8 16:29:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bwsj3/ip_experience_a_warning/
---
I see loads of people asking about inpatient, what it's like, whether it helps, whatever.
tl;dr- it's shit.

it doesn't help, first of all. I've just been released from my third and worst hospital 'admission', the others being only a day or two for OD's and such.
I didn't even get told what was happening. I went in there after bloods showed my potassium was at 2.2, and I'd purged so much that I was literally ~about to die. I was placed on 24hr cardiac arrest watch, an NG tube slipped in my nose (though "slipped" suggests it wasn't incredibly painful), and put on a bountiful supply of various vitamins.

I asked to discharge myself the same evening; after finding out I'd be there overnight, I wanted to go home, naturally, but completely disregarded the whole 'could have a heart attack at any time' thing.
eventually caved, accepted it, and was wheeled to J2, the adolescent ward.

I won't bore you with the details, as my individual experiences with shitty nurses, crying over eating, being tube-fed and working so hard to get my bloody tube out and realising it was just as bad without it, are all symptoms of the real problem; the system is flawed.

I still purged while I was in there. in fact, they rejuvenated me into a healthy girl, and that simply encouraged me to do it more. the food was foul, I was forced to consume things that I was against by ethical means (meat, fish) and things that made me physically nauseous (milk, butter, egg, tomato, capsicum, couscous, ect.). they gave me no warning before they forced me into a meal plan of 2000 calories per day, and bumped me up to over 3000 three days after that.
I gained 5.5kg in a week and a half.

And I just got out, yesterday. and guess what? I do not want to recover. in fact, being in the hospital has made me want to refuse food, b/p and starve until I ~actually die.

So please, minimise harm as much as you can. IP is awful. being hospitalised and given a 50/50 chance of dying/living is scary. and the aftermath is life-long, family-ruining, marriage-breaking and devastating.
I'm not asking you to stop your ED's, of course it doesn't work like that, but minimise the risk, don't flush when you purge, make sure you eat a BALANCED diet even if that balance only comes to 400kcal a day.
ending up in hospital is a game changer. you'll never have freedom again.

oh yeah, and intravenous straight potassium hurts like a bitch.

What body type are you attracted too?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 8 15:47:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bwk07/what_body_type_are_you_attracted_too/
---
[removed]

[Help] seeing sparkles
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 106 lb | 21.34 | -21.5| Female]
Created: Tue Nov 8 14:58:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bw9fe/seeing_sparkles/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] Does anyone else get told you look ill?
/u/BadBEDthrowaway
Created: Tue Nov 8 14:37:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bw4yt/does_anyone_else_get_told_you_look_ill/
---
190 cm tall 105kg 23 year old male.

Hello so, ive noticed that people constantly tells me i look tired, or if im okay, or ill and honestly its starting to get rather annoying man...

Back when i was 80kg before my serious back injury and binge eating disorder took over, i found out that people legit thought i had cancer and they didnt dare asking me because i looked so exhausted and well basically dying..

I dont know what the hell im supposed to do about it. so, i can easily chow down about 15.000 calories in 1.5-2 hours no trouble what so ever, and people tell me that i look malnourished but i was getting crazy fucking fat even then.

and then when i was actually eating way too little, "oh thats just the usual".. SHOOT ME..

[Rant/Rave] I'm so happy
/u/smallsmallersmallest [166.5cm | CW 50.8kg GW 44kg | 18.46 | -10.2kg | F]
Created: Tue Nov 8 13:39:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bvsbc/im_so_happy/
---
I'm ill right now and have absolutely no apetite for solid foods, I'm loving it. I mean, I somehow still worked in 500 calories of ice cream but.. Still. Apart from that I've only had soup so I'm at 700 for the day which is the lowest I've been at in a long time with all the binging and I'm just so pleased. Although I'm not enjoying being so bunged up and having a constant headache and all that, I kinda want to stay ill for at least a few more days so I can just live off soup and no one will be mad at me for not eating 'properly'. I'm listening to a song that one of the lines is 'You're slowly killing yourself' and I'm just thinking, fuck yeah I am. I feel so motivated right now I can't hold in my happiness :D

[Discussion] Restricting, rationalizing, and caring for self harm.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 8 12:39:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bvf20/restricting_rationalizing_and_caring_for_self_harm/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Let's talk about face progress!
/u/frailraven [5'10 | CW 117 | LW 115 | F20]
Created: Tue Nov 8 12:39:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bvew6/lets_talk_about_face_progress/
---
So I have always had a round face. Constantly told I look like a "cute little " chipmunk. But I always hated my round face. Even at 128 lbs, my face was still ridiculously chubby.

Now that I'm losing more weight my face has become more slim and my cheek bones are way more defined (contouring has been way easier if any of y'all are also into makeup).

Do you guys gain/lose fat on your face? For me, it's one of the first places that I can notice I've gained or lost weight.

[Other] Maybe I'm the only one that didn't know this.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 8 12:23:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bvbin/maybe_im_the_only_one_that_didnt_know_this/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] eating with the school nurse
/u/kennedyconnolly [5'9| 120 | 17.4]
Created: Tue Nov 8 10:12:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5buh92/eating_with_the_school_nurse/
---
well, i lost like five more pounds (can't update flair, on mobile). and now my team is making me eat lunch with the nurse. i'm planning on putting food in my pants and pockets but i'm just so annoyed right now.

[Help] Eating at a deficit and think I look skinner but haven't lost any but gained 2 cup sizes?
/u/chocolatecoveredpugs [5'4| 118| 20.6 | -22lbs | F]
Created: Tue Nov 8 09:34:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bu8ti/eating_at_a_deficit_and_think_i_look_skinner_but/
---
[removed]

all the single ladies
/u/yikes_dot_com [5'6 | 111 | 17.9 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 8 09:32:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bu8dm/all_the_single_ladies/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] How do you handle things when you're sick?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [Everybody's Fool]
Created: Tue Nov 8 09:28:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bu7ca/how_do_you_handle_things_when_youre_sick/
---
I know "handle things" is a bit vague, but I didn't know how else to phrase it!

I came down with a horrible cold yesterday (THANKS BOYFRIEND!!1) and feel awful. Woozy and bleh and so, so very bored.

I'm also upset and stressed about eating. On one hand, I just want to eat soup and warm veg in the hopes I will get better quicker, and because my stomach is rumbly and I need warm comfort food of some kind when I feel so rubbish.

On the other, I've been maintaining/overeating for about two weeks, and while I thought I could handle it, I really wanted to get 'back on track' with my more comfortable habits this week (i.e fasting and restricting) and try to lose again. Moreover, with the cold, I am refraining from exercise (and couldn't go to the gym even if I felt up to it, I don't want to infect other people with my cold) which makes me feel like I shouldn't eat, because I should only eat if I have activity to fuel..

I feel ultra guilty for even considering eating, like I am simply weak willed. I feel really fat after the last two weeks and am desperate to 'reverse the damage'. And then, again, so *bored*..

Obviously I've been sick before whilst wanting to fast and restrict, but I was much less of a hungry person back then, and I was mainly sedentary any way - which is probably why my appetite was lesser in general. Now I am pretty active in general, rely on my activity in many different ways, and so I am bored, and feel fatter than ever, and my appetite right now is not my friend.. :( Just so much badness.

Sigh, so what do you do when you are sick? How do you handle your eating habits, do you change them, and what do you do to relieve boredom and make yourself feel better in general about everything? I have some stock cubes for veggie broth which are seeming like a comfortable idea. I really want to get better asap so I can get back to my usual, comfortable routine..

[Rant/Rave] "you're so small I can't picture you eating that much"
/u/fiddlydiddly [5'4 | 125 lbs | 21.9 | -115 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Nov 8 09:13:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bu429/youre_so_small_i_cant_picture_you_eating_that_much/
---
Ever since I lost my most recent 30 odd pounds I've been getting comments from friends and family on how "skinny" and "small" I've gotten. Most of my family is quite a bit bigger, so I never really take it to heart and just laugh it off.

Yesterday I was tutoring one of my regulars who is just this tiny thing straight out of highschool. We went off on a tangent at one point and got to talking about eating competitions (probably my fault lol) and I told her how I had completed one once that probably amounted to 8k+ calories. She thought it was crazy and said it's funny because I'm "so small" she can't picture me eating that much. My heart fluttered a bit and I just laughed in response, but it's the first time I've actually felt like it might be true? Like I might objectively be small to people now?

Sure, she could have been more focused on my height with that comment, but I feel I'm pretty average there and having previously been morbidly obese I just can't believe someone tiny like her would perceive me as small in any way.

Sorry, just had to gush! Wish body dysmorphia wasn't a thing so maybe I could see what she sees. :/

[Help] [Help] how much do you think this small vegan donut is? 12 oz tea for scale
/u/apricaught [5'3.5"| CW 118 | 20.70| -16| F]
Created: Tue Nov 8 08:54:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5btzp0/help_how_much_do_you_think_this_small_vegan_donut/
---
http://imgur.com/LtCLNpZ

[Rant/Rave] A bit gross and a bit TMI
/u/vhenah [5'7 | 133.6 | 20.85 | -86.4 | MOO]
Created: Tue Nov 8 08:13:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5btqtx/a_bit_gross_and_a_bit_tmi/
---
BUT I'm gonna power through and share this anyway. Senna Tea. SENNA TEA IS LITERALLY THE BEST. I can't use normal laxatives anymore, I can go normally (it just takes 5ever) but my body doesn't take to the normal dose anymore. I couldn't remember the last time I actually pooped yesterday so I picked up some Senna Tea at the store and let me tell you - it tastes like licqourice which is sorta gross but this stuff WORKS.

I actually lost like 2.5~ pounds of poop weight so bless the fuck up. It was honestly worth waking up at 2am with crazy cramps.

tldr; if exlax doesn't work and you're super paranoid about your body's waste related habits, go for that Senna tea.

I have to ask if it has 'diminishing returns' like ExLax does?

[Tip] Tip
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 115 | 19.66 | :(+30pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Tue Nov 8 07:46:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5btl6w/tip/
---
[removed]

[Help] Fixed my FitBit, need some pointers?
/u/citrus_cunt [5' 9"| 142lbs | 19.5| +5lbs | F]
Created: Tue Nov 8 07:26:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bth20/fixed_my_fitbit_need_some_pointers/
---
So im back to using my first-gen flex and I want to know what y'all think.

Should i connect it to MFP and keep using that or should I use the built-in tracking apps? Is one more accurate or are they pretty much equal?

Also does anyone want to be friends? I'm under as Citrus-Cunt per usual. 😁

[Help] Breaking a fast?
/u/Cosmoflower [168cm | 152lbs| 24.43 | 19lbs | F]
Created: Tue Nov 8 06:11:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bt3mx/breaking_a_fast/
---
(No flair, on phone - sorry!)
Hi guys,

Just need some advice. I used to be really not so bad at breaking a fast but lately if I do a fast I really struggle to break it without binging so hard I end up sick - maybe is a stress thing.

Anyway I was wondering how everyone else breaks their fasts without losing control and causing themselves harm??

[Rant/Rave] [Rant] I suck as a girlfriend
/u/plshealme [5'5 | 128 | 21.55 | -40 | 19F]
Created: Tue Nov 8 05:53:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bt0mh/rant_i_suck_as_a_girlfriend/
---
I need to rant/rave a bit because I feel like a terrible person right now.

So, I have a flight booked in December to go and meet my ldr boyfriend for the first time. I'll be spending Christmas and New Year's with him and his mom & stepdad and we have lots of stuff planned. I'll also be meeting pretty much his whole family in general and I am SO stressed out and nervous.

The pressure of wanting to appear nice and pretty and make a good impression has been making me go crazy, the past 2 weeks or so I've been eating everything I could find. I spent more money on food than I usually do in 2 months...

Due to that, I've been too scared to weigh myself, thinking that I've probably gone up to 65 kg from 60.6 kg or something. I just kept telling myself I won't weigh myself until December 1st, and based off of my weight (aka wether or not I'm below 60, and at least 58) I was gonna buy some clothes I badly need, I have two pairs of pants and maybe 5 shirts that fit me, and I wanted some nice clothes to make a good impression.

Anyway, this morning I caved in an weighed myself. 61.1 kg. I only gained 0.5 kg, that's around 1 lbs. I don't even know how that is possible, I've probably eaten more than 3000 calories a day for the last two weeks. It just doesn't make sense and now I'm scared my scale is broken. :/

The reason why I feel like a terrible person though is the following, my boyfriends dad and stepmom (who he is living with) don't want me in their house during christmas time. We were only planning on spending two nights there anyway, but it's still a slap in the face. My bf will be on christmas break during the time I'm there and his dad told him that if he 'wants to take 3 weeks off to hang out with some girl', they're going to kick him out. So now he is extremely stressed out and feels like shit and what's the only thing on my mind? Hey, I didn't gain a shitton of weight so there's still a chance I won't look super fat and gross when I visit him! Urgh. Why am I like this...

[Sticky] Self-care and Beauty Q+A November 08, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Nov 8 05:08:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bsu0y/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_november_08_2016/
---

Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

*****

Self-care and beauty threads are posted every Tuesday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 08, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Nov 8 05:08:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bsu03/daily_food_diary_november_08_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 08, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Help] so confused
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 106 lb | 21.34 | -21.5| Female]
Created: Tue Nov 8 02:52:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bsdc2/so_confused/
---
[removed]

[Help] Knoxville vegans?
/u/ashfaced88
Created: Tue Nov 8 02:49:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bsd1q/knoxville_vegans/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Those of you who log calories in an app like MFP, do you log foods you chew and spit?
/u/Fibreoptic_Calico
Created: Tue Nov 8 02:16:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bs9h8/those_of_you_who_log_calories_in_an_app_like_mfp/
---
Or do you just log a few of the calories to account for the few that are swallowed accidentally?

(On mobile, can't flair)

[Rant/Rave] After binging for the past two days
/u/xcris19x [5'3 | FATFATFAT | Fat | F | -13lbs | UGW: 90/95 |]
Created: Tue Nov 8 00:41:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5brz1f/after_binging_for_the_past_two_days/
---
After two days of binging (after FINALLY breaking my plateau of course) I decided to eat something simple (ramen) and purge it up. I'm not naturally a purger, I recently did it on purpose for the first time in years and haven't really stopped. It isn't exactly routine, not after *every* meal, but often enough.

Whatever, anyways! I ate my ramen really fast, I was kind of excited. It's a weirdly exhilarating thing for me, a whole special event sort of thing. Music and I clean my porcelain throne till it's shiny - you get the picture. But when I went to the bathroom fairly shortly after I finished and for some reason I couldn't purge.

So of course- of course since I couldn't purge, I instinctively react to binging more. What in the hell is fucking wrong with me? Does anyone else do similar things?

[Rant/Rave] Fasting for a month: Update
/u/ForeverEmptyInside [5'9"| CW:115 lbs | BMI 17 | LW:104lbs | M]
Created: Mon Nov 7 23:58:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5brtn8/fasting_for_a_month_update/
---
Well.. I failed.
But not because of lack of willpower, or anything.

I was in my dorm room, when I felt a little hungry. This was about day 5 of my fast. Naturally, I used water to suppress my hunger. Although I used a little bit *too* much water. I felt extremely light headed and dizzy. I collapsed. When I woke up I was completely covered in my own shit and vomit. My headache was surreal and my eyes were bulging. So I went to ER.

Electrolyte imbalance.

So....I'm dropping out of Uni. My parents want me to come home and "work on my health". Not sure if thats going to look like inpatient or outpatient. Fuck this. There is nothing to do in my home town. I won't be able to get back in until Fall 2017. That's almost a whole year now..

I'm 18. No job. Not a student. And moving back in with my parents.

Kill me.

[Rant/Rave] i hate feeling this delusional
/u/bvvvg
Created: Mon Nov 7 23:48:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5brscv/i_hate_feeling_this_delusional/
---
my mum saw a photo someone posted of me and sent me a message asking if i had lost heaps of weight. the scales say i have - close to 22 pounds - but i can't see it at ALL. i still look like the same disgusting fat mess. i wonder if it'll always be like this or if one day i might be able to see what's actually going on

[Goal] I WENT WITHOUT EATING TODAY!
/u/_skellies
Created: Mon Nov 7 23:09:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5brn31/i_went_without_eating_today/
---
[removed]

Another warning to those enticed by purging...
/u/wavvvybaby
Created: Mon Nov 7 23:07:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5brmqi/another_warning_to_those_enticed_by_purging/
---
[removed]

[Goal] I self harmed instead of binging.
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 135 | 19.9 | -1.5 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 7 22:06:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5brdiz/i_self_harmed_instead_of_binging/
---
Is this bad or good? /:

[Rant/Rave] Fucked up big time last week, trying to get back on track
/u/onlyroom_forthin [5'6.5 | CW:158.6 | 25. 22 | SW:170 | UGW:120 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 7 21:42:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bra0m/fucked_up_big_time_last_week_trying_to_get_back/
---
So last week I was at a HUGE event related to my future career. It was such a huge opportunity for me, I met so many people, it was amazing, and I definitely feel like I made some great contacts that will help me advance.

But I let myself use it as a crutch and basically ate the whole universe. I was between 1500 and 2500 calories EVERY DAY for like the whole week. Ugh, it was awful. I knew I was going to eat a bit more than usual because it was an exhausting event and I needed to keep up my mental energy to be able to interact with all these people. But I went way overboard. I basically hated myself every night and then went and did the same thing the next day.

I'm determined to get back on track. I joined the gym near my apartment this weekend. It's just a crappy Planet Fitness, but I just need to be able to do cardio since I don't feel safe running in my neighborhood. I was there for almost 2 hrs on Sunday and burned 800 calories according to my Fitbit (taking this with a huge grain of salt and not eating back too many calories, because no one seems to really know how accurate Fitbits are).

In other news, I am spiraling into a downward spin of self destruction and depression. If I don't get my shit together I'm going to start smoking again, which is not really that big of a deal but it was a HUGE deal for me to quit this summer. Ugh. Just been feeling like a failure.

[Thinspo] I really like this photo of me. (For a better quality photo visit my Pinterest Skinny70)
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 115 | 19.66 | :(+30pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Mon Nov 7 21:02:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5br3ip/i_really_like_this_photo_of_me_for_a_better/
---
https://i.redd.it/abvo0qx5lbwx.jpg

[Discussion] Supersize vs Superskinny TOTAL confusion
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 126 lbs | 18.95 BMI | -37 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Nov 7 20:04:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bqtif/supersize_vs_superskinny_total_confusion/
---
I know a lot of us watch this show. I have to ask.

They just said "he ate a minuscule 1300 calories a day. Approximately the diet of a 3-year-old child."

WTF

Like, I guess that's my question, haha. WTF?

This show messes with my head. But the superskinnies are great thinspo. And if they can get to those sizes on 1300 calories, why can't I? It's so fucking frustrating. I haven't exceeded 1200 calories a day in over a year (usually closer to 900-1000 and lots of exercise) and I'm still sitting here above the underweight line by a decent margin and it's madness.

[Discussion] Feeling shittier than ever
/u/kungpaola [5'2 | LW 109 | CW 137 | HW 149 | GW 105 | 26f]
Created: Mon Nov 7 19:48:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bqqkg/feeling_shittier_than_ever/
---
Long-time lurker, first-time poster...

I was only a few lbs from my goal weight a couple years ago and then I went through this depression with my parents' divorce where I just stopped caring and just started eating. As a result, I have gained back almost all of the 40lbs I dropped since graduating high school and have just recently started restricting again.

My sibling just got married this weekend. I felt okay about myself in my bridesmaid dress, since it hides a lot and I had on my Spanx, until I got to the reception and kept hearing relatives say things like "You look so good! You'd lost a lot of weight a couple years ago but you're looking much better these days!" and "The last time I saw you you looked too skinny, you look much better now!"

Why do people think it's okay to say these things? Thanks for reminding me that I've gained weight and lost control...

r/fitness advice gives me anxiety
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 170lb | M]
Created: Mon Nov 7 19:39:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bqoww/rfitness_advice_gives_me_anxiety/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/831e7ec85b1c4c3db493184a0735a570?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=779ff4d94042da21a0a13ecc9ea4697c

[Discussion] My list of appetite suppressants
/u/get-fucking-thin [5'5" | 142 | 23.63 | -10 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 7 19:39:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bqott/my_list_of_appetite_suppressants/
---
- Coffee with a splash of skim/soy milk with a packet of splenda (~15 kcal)
- Green tea (0 kcal)
- Cinnamon/peppermint gum (5 kcal)
- Egg white (16 kcal)
- 1/2 apple with cinnamon sprinkled on top, heated in microwave (~40 kcal)
- Lemon tea w/ splenda (~5 kcal)
- 12 cherries (48 kcal)

Add more below - I could use some more :)

[Thinspo] Delicate [Thinspo]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 7 19:29:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bqn32/delicate_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/gallery/LAxCU?lr=0

[Thinspo] [Thinspo] Delicate
/u/get-fucking-thin [5'5" | 142 | 23.63 | -10 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 7 18:55:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bqh1u/thinspo_delicate/
---
http://imgur.com/a/LAxCU

[Rant/Rave] why the fuck did i just binge.
/u/slytherlin [5'5" | CW: 128 | GW:116 | NB]
Created: Mon Nov 7 18:35:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bqdeo/why_the_fuck_did_i_just_binge/
---
i don't even have anything to add lmao. whenever i binge i feel sick and gross and sleepy and unproductive and unmotivated. why do i still binge. why do i convince myself in the excitement of "omg i'm gonna eat this so much stuff!! :))) it's gonna be great!! :)))"?

it never does! i always feel gross afterwards! i'm literally so bloated and full and sick feeling! i hit a lowest weight yesterday so naturally i go and self sabotage the day after?? literally why.

[Rant/Rave] Self-destructive (rant, support needed)
/u/poisonandvenom
Created: Mon Nov 7 16:34:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bpq8f/selfdestructive_rant_support_needed/
---
Last year I lost 12kg in three months and I never felt better about myself. I was in control. Completely, utterly. No such thing as binging. No such thing as depressive periods where everything seemed grey and cold and awful. No such thing as, no such thing, no.


Christmas 2015, and everything went downhill. The girls I thought were my friends abandoned me, spread rumours behind my back, told me I was toxic. And I am. I was. I knew they were trying to lose weight and I even used some of them as reverse thinspo. I was an awful, awful person.

Since then... I swear, I eat 500 calories a day for two weeks and lose no weight, eat 1000 for one day and gain a kilo. And more often than not it's not 500/1000 - it's binges, piggish awful binges, greedy messy binges, and I hate myself so fucking much, I eat 4000 in one night and I lose myself for weeks and weeks, and I'm just so *tired*.

I'm still fat, really fat. And the girl who used to be my friend are losing weight faster than me, and is hanging out with the thinnest girl in school, the smartest girl in school, the girl I'm always 2nd to.

The worst thing is, I know what I used to do was unhealthy, but God I would so anything to get back to that mindset. When I was controlled, disciplined. When 800 calories a day was a luxury. When I could fast for 48hrs and forget entirely that I needed food to function. When I could burn every morsel of food off through exercise.

I feel like a fake. How can I say I have an ED when I eat spoonfuls of sugar and binge on bread and jam and make excuses to eat seconds and third at every meal? For every day I restrict there's a day I don't, a day I destructively don't. I smell bad when I binge, but I do it anyway. I don't have any friends, but I wouldn't even if I was thin, so what do I care? I am a fake. I had some kind of ED before but now I seem to be cured and I would do anything to go back to the way things were - to being hungry, to being sore, to being thin.

I'm 5'7", 63.5kg, and when I move I feel every bit of fat on me jiggle and shake. My hips, my legs, my arms. Prom is coming up. My mom wants to buy me a dress and I can't find it in my heart to tell her no guy wants to bring a girl as fat and ugly as me, inside and out.

I'm just so *tired* all of the time.

I want to be a different kind of self-destructive. I want to control. I want to restrict. I want to be a better, thinner, stronger person.

How?

[Help] Dealing with winter time changes?
/u/citrus_cunt [5' 9"| 142lbs | 19.5| +5lbs | F]
Created: Mon Nov 7 16:32:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bppqd/dealing_with_winter_time_changes/
---
So it gets dark at like, 6pm now. And it throws off my body clock horribly. Im so used to eating around the way the sky looks, even tho it's silly. I want to start eating dinner before the sun goes down and then once it's pitch dark I feel like I can afford a small dessert. But by then it's only 7 and the bingeing starts?

Ugh. DAE struggle with this and how do y'all deal?

[Discussion] Dairy Intolerance?
/u/K_iwi
Created: Mon Nov 7 16:01:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bpjk1/dairy_intolerance/
---
I've noticed these past few days that whenever I eat dairy I get really upset stomachs and end up with some nasty gas/poops (tmi but its proed lol). Its awful. Is this a thing that can happen from a restrictive diet? Has this happened to anyone else?

[Discussion] DAE feel attacked by others when they mention any kind of self-hatred or hatred of their body?
/u/dooksofireland
Created: Mon Nov 7 15:17:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bpacu/dae_feel_attacked_by_others_when_they_mention_any/
---
I swear I don't even mean to, but I often find myself saying horrible things about my body in general/casual conversation with anyone....co workers, friends, bf, family...and I feel like then they try to question me, "well what are you eating? How often do you eat? Oh you're doing too much cardio you will just plateau!! Lift more weights" or when I was into lifting weights it was " oh do more cardio". I just constantly feel like I have to justify myself when they're giving me this unwanted advice (that I know is my fault for bringing up). I can't help that I feel this way about my body...I know it's completely my fault by opening up dialogue about my body but I do it even when I don't mean to...it's like I hear something about legs (I work at a gym so body talk is common) and I immediately blurt out "I fucking hate my thighs"...i wish people knew how much these things tormented my mind :(
Wondering if anyone else feels attacked like this daily because they can't contain talking shit on themselves :/

[Goal] feeling strong in the campus dining hall
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 7 15:07:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bp7z5/feeling_strong_in_the_campus_dining_hall/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] WTF, brain?!
/u/life-as-a-loon [5'3"|105.2|19.15|F]
Created: Mon Nov 7 14:23:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5boy7c/wtf_brain/
---
I was sooo depressed about losing my hair. I loved my hair. It became thin and brittle and gross. It fell out. Being around my ex and actually like...eating....semi regularly it has started to look healthier again. I should be happy that I have shiny hair again, right? Except I feel like that means I'm failing. So I keep telling him I don't want to hang out so I don't have to eat. He always wants to eat. He always wants to make sure I'm ok. He actually cares about me, and I keep pushing him away so I can be alone and not have him harping on me. WTF is wrong with me?

[Discussion] DAE have weird underboob/ribcage fat or is it just me?
/u/invisible_lizz [5' | 107.8 | BMI:21 l GW 90| -36.2 l F]
Created: Mon Nov 7 14:09:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bov0p/dae_have_weird_underboobribcage_fat_or_is_it_just/
---
I've always had them. Even at low weights. Goes along great with my B shaped belly! :'D

It makes me want to get a tummy tuck but I'll never be rich enough for that. Please tell me other people have this too.

[Discussion] 24 hour fast
/u/concuidado [4'11 | 83 lbs | 17.8 | -62| F]
Created: Mon Nov 7 14:08:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bousn/24_hour_fast/
---
I decided to fast today because of my recent binges and then to just eat clean and restrict to 300 calories a day. Is a 24 hour fast pointless? I've been looking at posts and most people just do 3 day fasts but idk if I could do that.

[Discussion] State of the subreddit: Discussion Megathread!
/u/HereToStirItUp
Created: Mon Nov 7 13:58:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bosgw/state_of_the_subreddit_discussion_megathread/
---
[removed]

I just got an idea about water stretching our stomachs?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 7 13:46:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bopsu/i_just_got_an_idea_about_water_stretching_our/
---
[removed]

[Help] Cheap/low cal to go snacks?
/u/bitterorbetter [5'5| 145| 24.1 | -15 | F19]
Created: Mon Nov 7 12:43:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bobht/cheaplow_cal_to_go_snacks/
---
I need snacks for when I'm at school
That aren't just fruit and veggies. Only other thing I have ate rice cakes. Anything else?

[Discussion] Losing fat gaining muscle
/u/Dead_ugly19
Created: Mon Nov 7 12:26:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bo7m8/losing_fat_gaining_muscle/
---
Hello, I'm new here and hoping this is a safe haven to chat.
Anyone ever had the issue of loosing weight but then replacing it with horrid bulky muscle? How can I stop this! I hate it . It makes me feel heavy and butch. Just want to take a knife and cut away.

[Other] i write whenever i feel depressed
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 7 12:12:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bo4jm/i_write_whenever_i_feel_depressed/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] "I didn't recognize you!"
/u/pcrnography [5'6" | -77 lbs | nb]
Created: Mon Nov 7 11:40:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bnx9e/i_didnt_recognize_you/
---
"You got so skinny!"

I'm gonna cry I'm so happy I thought I looked the same but this came from people who saw me last 30+ pounds ago... I'm at my lowest weigh ever right now and normally hate comments on my body but today it feels so good!

[Thinspo] I made a Pinterest
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 115 | 19.66 | :(+30pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Mon Nov 7 11:37:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bnwkd/i_made_a_pinterest/
---
[removed]

[Thinspo] Thought of the Day: Focus on your good features!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 7 11:33:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bnvkb/thought_of_the_day_focus_on_your_good_features/
---
http://imgur.com/cvvqT7n

[Help] Keto ánd vegetarian recipes?
/u/Ultimatedream [5'6 | 124 | 20 | -41 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 7 11:21:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bnst6/keto_ánd_vegetarian_recipes/
---
My parents are willing to try vegetarian once a week. But they're very picky. They don't want to eat most meat replacements because they already feel they won't like it. I eat mostly keto, so it's gonna be a challenge, haha.

Anyone has some helpful recipes for me? Eggs are ok, cheese isn't.

[Thinspo] Can't concentrate on anything so I made a thinspo album instead!
/u/ikillsouls [5' 2" | 104 | 19.0 | Ugw: 85 |19f]
Created: Mon Nov 7 11:20:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bnslf/cant_concentrate_on_anything_so_i_made_a_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/gallery/iN7P0

[Help] [HELP] Binging every day, self-sabotage, fasting
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 7 11:17:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bns00/help_binging_every_day_selfsabotage_fasting/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Tips on staying strong around family?
/u/oceanblue10 [5'9''| 167| 24.66|GW:120 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 7 11:09:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bnq6f/tips_on_staying_strong_around_family/
---
Im at university and usually go home for the weekends because i have a boyfriend and really need to just get away from the stress that is college. During the week I am here, i am on point! less than 500 calories a day! however, as soon as i get home that all goes flying out the window! my family does not eat healthy so there is nothing low cal in the house and they make me feel bad if i say im not hungry. My boyfriend also has nothing i can eat since he is super skinny and he thinks there is something wrong if i tell him im not hungry. It is just easier to give in than it is to fight them on why i dont want to eat. I feel like any progress i make during the week is lost as soon as i go home for the weekend. Any tips on staying strong or on avoiding the topic of food around family?

[Rant/Rave] I'm a fucking idiot. (anyone got any proed hangover cures...)
/u/invisible_lizz [5' | 107.8 | BMI:21 l GW 90| -36.2 l F]
Created: Mon Nov 7 10:34:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bni6s/im_a_fucking_idiot_anyone_got_any_proed_hangover/
---
Yesterday all I really ate was a big apple. But then since I'm such a fucking idiot I had 6 shots of vodka and now I feel like walking death. I really can't stomach anything.

I don't even know why I did this to myself since I've been doing so well cutting down the alcohol. (oh wait, I remember, I'm a fucking alcoholic).

Ugh anyway I already took an ibuprofen and I'm really trying to keep this Monster zero down. The best part? I'm on call in about 30 minutes. I hate myself.

[Intro] Introduction: I hate myself
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 7 09:12:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bmzq8/introduction_i_hate_myself/
---
[removed]

[Help] Purposely skipping a period
/u/Weazin_the_Ju-uice
Created: Mon Nov 7 08:56:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bmw9z/purposely_skipping_a_period/
---
I am taking the type of birth control pills where the last week is inactive pills. Taking the inactive pills triggers my period. I know that I am able to skip these pills and start a fresh pack of bc without any risk of medical complications.

My question is, will this affect my weight/water weight/bloat at all? Does anyone else do this to skip periods?

Edit: Thank you for the replies. It's good to know that other people do this too!

[Goal] "Anorexic Attention Whore"
/u/c_marier [5'6"| 112.2 18.18 | 22F]
Created: Mon Nov 7 08:34:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bmrsf/anorexic_attention_whore/
---
So I made the mistake of posting several full body pictures of myself on Imgur (fully clothed, I should point out. In snug jeans and a tank top). The intention was to send the link to an internet bud who would describe my body back to me in honest, neutral terms to help with body dysmorphia struggles. I figured that having just created an account for this purpose, no one else would accidentally stumble across the pictures and whatever if they did, it isn't like I was in my underwear or something.

Flash forward two minutes and I'm checking to make sure the album uploaded correctly. It did. And there are upwards of twenty comments. More every time I refreshed the page. It was something of a nightmare. Almost deleted the album but decided fuck it the damage was already done.

Read through the comments because I'm an idiot and don't know how to internet. Most of them were about whether or not they'd bang me etc. Whatever. I'm old enough not to really care about anonymous dickheads. And then one of the comments caught my eye: "Anorexic Attention Whore."

I have never been more flattered in my life. Anorexic? Really? An internet stranger called me anorexic? But I'm not that thin and barely underweight and you could hardly see my bones and my thigh gap is minimal. Anorexic? I know it's super messed up and it's the internet - the commenter was trying to exaggerate and be obnoxious. But I'm so pleased.

I am an awful human being.

[Discussion] Share your favorite shows to binge watch...extra points for thinspo
/u/daeboo [5ft1/79lbs]
Created: Mon Nov 7 08:07:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bmmdm/share_your_favorite_shows_to_binge_watchextra/
---
So I'm in an utterly trashed state emotionally and need some sweet sweet binge watching for the week (that isn't supersize vs superskinny, haha).

What do y'all watch when you feel shitty?

[Rant/Rave] Bad night (mental) + Nurturing spouse
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 7 07:41:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bmhf7/bad_night_mental_nurturing_spouse/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] [THINSPO] inspired by /u/Rikicarvu: Lets do a music video based thinspo thread!
/u/justanotherbrunette [5'7" | 140 | 22.63 | -5 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 7 07:35:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bmgan/thinspo_inspired_by_urikicarvu_lets_do_a_music/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bmgan/thinspo_inspired_by_urikicarvu_lets_do_a_music/

[Discussion] Happy Monday. Today will be rough because carb/sugar withdrawal but I'm relieved to be back. How are you?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 7 07:04:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bmaq9/happy_monday_today_will_be_rough_because/
---
What's new...my boyfriend visited this weekend and on Saturday I really didn't do too bad! I restricted all day until our special cooking plans Saturday night (empanadas - but baked, not fried). I ate an average amount of empanadas (but we downed two bottles of champagne). It's whatever, I had the best night ever with him.

Sunday....started with a 700 cal dunkin donuts breakfast sandwich (Wtf I haven't had a DD breakfast sandwich in...years). Then I felt "ruined" and once my boyfriend left, I picked up my nephew for the day. We got pizza, candy, popcorn (went to the movies) and then when I got home I had chicken tenders, the rest of my nephews candy (a whole package of starburst sour gummies, about 30 jolly ranchers) AND a can of soup, 4 slices of buttered bread (heavy white bread), spoonfuls of peanut butter, and I know I'm forgetting things. I mean, it was the kind of binge where I felt so sick I couldn't move but kept eating.

So, today is already hard. Acid reflux, gurgling stomach, bloated. But, it's Monday. And Monday is going to be hard. I'm sipping my black coffee. I have an apple and a banana packed.

I know I will feel tired most of the day, I know I will crave carbs and sugar like no other. But tomorrow will be easier. And Wednesday I'll be back 100%. Manic restriction, healthy emptiness. Can't wait to hit the gym too. I'll turn this 'excess energy' into muscle...right? :'D Yes. I will. Just, excited to be back. Binge-days feel like hell and getting back feels like relief.

How are you today? IT IS A NEW DAY, A NEW WEEK :)

Edit: So far, so good. I feel "empty" again using 1 banana, 1 apple, black coffee, and A LOT of water. I have my intake for the night laid out and I have plenty of distractions. I'm feeling empowered and positive. I hope your days are going well! <3

[Discussion] DAE have a problem with self-sabotage?
/u/salt_skin [5'4" | CW 134lbs | BMI 23.45 | GW 90 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Nov 7 07:00:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bma0l/dae_have_a_problem_with_selfsabotage/
---
it took months to get past my plateau, but now that i'm losing again, i find that i sabotage myself by binging anytime i lose any weight, even when i'm not hungry. it's like a part of my brain is like "you did it! you can eat now!" but that defeats the purpose! especially when i'm not even close to my goal weight. it's extremely frustrating to constantly have these setbacks because i've been working too hard to lose weight to gain it all back.

[Help] I have nothing more to give
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 143.8 | 23.30 | -50ish | F]
Created: Mon Nov 7 06:39:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bm6e2/i_have_nothing_more_to_give/
---
Im feeling extremely mentally taxed. The idea of having a store of mental resolve and meting it out as you go through your day really resonates me. I find when im not stressing out in other areas, I'm able to be very successful in my ED. I wont binge (a huge problem for me), i can string together multiple days of low restriction and the weight just falls off.

But because of this election, im feeling constantly triggered, and i dont really use that word lightly. Ive also experienced rape/sexual violence and trump's language and actions around it and the subsequent support he receives is invalidating and just generally the worst. Ive backed myself off of at least three panic attacks where it feels like my throat is constricting and im just auffocating under the weight of existance. Those only happen once every two months or so for me. This thread on reddit about the legality/morality of a 15yr old girl being able to have sex with her uncle (by marriage) who is 47 years old is destroying any faith i had left in people and going outside, i find it so hard to make eye contact with people knowing that reddit is a decent microcosm of very real thoughts and beliefs.

So im just dying. It's almost 9 am and ive had 380 calories. My goal for the day is 500 and i have to have lunch with my mom. Im just exhausted and so tired of being a woman and just plain existing

[Rant/Rave] My mom tried to bribe me with shoes
/u/scandinaviandreams [6'0" | 131 | 17.93 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 7 05:23:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5blurn/my_mom_tried_to_bribe_me_with_shoes/
---
She has been exceptionally pushy about my weight lately, even though I try to dismiss her worry as silly.


Today I was shopping with her and tried on a pair of $260 timberland shoes, I was hesitating about buying them but my mom was like "if I buy them for you, could you consider putting on a little weight?"

I was flabbergasted. Wtf. I told her once again that my weight is no reason of concern. She ended up buying them for me anyway, but I don't know if I can wear them now without feeling guilty...

[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! November 07, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Nov 7 05:14:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bltkf/weekly_stats_update_november_07_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for November 07, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

*****

Status threads are posted every Monday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 07, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Nov 7 05:14:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bltju/daily_food_diary_november_07_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 07, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Rant/Rave] Freaking out
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 7 04:23:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5blmz7/freaking_out/
---
[deleted]

[Help] I need to relapse or kill myself.
/u/faebun [5'6 | 125.6lb | 20.35 | -38.8 | NB]
Created: Mon Nov 7 03:54:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bljk3/i_need_to_relapse_or_kill_myself/
---
One of the two needs to happen. Disclaimer: i'm drunk.

i'm sitting outside smoking and shivering my ass off because that burns calories. good start.

i'm 2 pounds away from being fully weight restored and i fucking hate it. when i'm on cam, people regularly ask me if i'm pregnant. nope, it just takes about a year for recovery weight to redistribute! nice!

i can't live like this. something has to change.

i can't self harm because then i wouldn't be able to work, people would see it and when your job involves being naked there's not really a way to hide it.

i had a great day today, but fuck me anyways, even when the rest of my life is going great i'm a mental fucking mess.

please let me stop hurting. please stop pushing me towards recovery, i told everyone i wasn't ready for it but they made me. i can't take this any more.

[Goal] Huge step forward.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | 142.6 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 7 02:53:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5blcsn/huge_step_forward/
---
First off, the first week of November was great! I hit my goal of under 600 every single day. I'm supposed to weigh myself today, but started my period and think it would be best to avoid the scale until next Monday.

Best new: I successfully was prescribed Wellbutrin again! I'm in France and they only prescribe it to help people stop smoking. I was really nervous about asking for it, but said I took it without problems last time and she said no problem. I have a 3 month prescription in my pocket and I'm so happy. I have zero appetite on it and the weight fell off last time I had it.

Better news, I actually do use it for depression and this is my first ~real~ winter and I think SAD is a very real possibility for me. This will help so much and I practically skipped home after my appointment.

I hope everyone has a wonderful week! Thank you for letting me share my good news!

[Help] "You are a failure, and failures eat their feelings" - ED brain found depression and it's ganging up on me.
/u/CowOffTheFarm [65" | 145 | 24.41 | - | F | GW 120]
Created: Mon Nov 7 01:58:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bl707/you_are_a_failure_and_failures_eat_their_feelings/
---
That's all. I'm gonna cry over my homemade fillo dough pizza pockets now.

[Discussion] Does scratchy voice ever go away?
/u/asfdsfksdjf
Created: Sun Nov 6 22:49:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bkl08/does_scratchy_voice_ever_go_away/
---
It sounds like I have a vocal fry everytime I talk now.

[Goal] Trying my first 24 hour fast to make up for the weekend.
/u/epasternack [5'7" | CW 127 | GW 120 | BMI 19.9 | -33lbs | 22 F]
Created: Sun Nov 6 22:23:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bkhh1/trying_my_first_24_hour_fast_to_make_up_for_the/
---
So I ate high cal this weekend but not even enough to bust up my weekly goal. In fact, I am still under my weekly goal. But for some reason having normal meals makes me feel like I'm stuffing my face consistently. It's so tempting to get back on that train but I am so focused on reaching my weight goal that I need to be super strict. So I'm doing a 24 hour fast starting 9pm Seattle time on 11/6 and ending at 9pm on 11/7. I figure if I make this post, it's official and I have to do it. I'm allowing myself to have milk in my coffee, but other than that, I'm going to try to abstain from actual calories until it's over.


My big weakness is eating when I'm bored and normally during the week I'm too occupied with school to be sitting at home doing nothing, but this weekend I went out to breakfast with my BF and I was home a lot so.... there ya go. Bored eating.


Anyway here's to my first fast and here's to hoping it works out. Electrolytes, water, coffee, EC stack. Here we go.

My 133 pound prison
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 6 21:21:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bk8ju/my_133_pound_prison/
---
[removed]

[Help] moving gracefully
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 170lb | M]
Created: Sun Nov 6 20:49:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bk3l3/moving_gracefully/
---
This is a major point of self hate for me-- I move like a goddamn clown. Like, a (starting to be) thin clown, but still. I'm not coordinated, I trip over myself, and none of it is in a cute or endearing way. The main thing I want from being skinny is grace, but it's nowhere in sight.

The other day I went to a gym with mirrors facing the machines and considered rigging a gallows from the treadmill I was on. *I can't move without looking like a freak,* and I had to watch myself gangling along for over an hour. Disaster.

Anyway, advice? Or do I just walk less, smile more?

[Intro] I'm back. I think.
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 115 | 19.66 | :(+30pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Sun Nov 6 20:06:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bjwrm/im_back_i_think/
---
I was on here a lot in the beginning of the year then I went though recovery and I went from 85 pounds to 115. My goal is to be 70 pounds.. eh not really it's way less than that but 70 is realistic for me. I am female to male transgender.

I'm back. I think.
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 115 | 19.66 | :(+30pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Sun Nov 6 20:06:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bjwre/im_back_i_think/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] I drink too much. And it scares me. And it's stopping me from reaching my GW. And I don't know what to do.
/u/frustratedwithfat [F | 5'7" | SW 160, CW 133, GW 123, UGW 113]
Created: Sun Nov 6 18:37:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bjhh2/i_drink_too_much_and_it_scares_me_and_its/
---
I don't know. I'm literally drunk right this minute. Like the title says, I drink too much and it's stopping me from reaching my GW. And I know I shouldn't be drinking so much. Or eating so much. Or exercising so not-at-all. I have a lovely therapist and he helps and is aware of my drinking. But I don't know how to regain control. And even if I do regain control, I'll just use that control to not eat. I'm in law school. Law school is hell. It's just a bunch of people drinking/using drugs to get through it. I don't know what to do. I'm just 10lbs from my GW and have a wedding in 3 weeks for which I'm a plus-one for the super hot guy (and my former best friend/one-time FWB) who rejected me when I got fat. This is a great time for me to buckle down and look gorgeous in my dress. But I can't because this is my 6th shot of bourbon. Please tell me I'm not a failure and that I'm not doomed forever.

[Rant/Rave] I FINALLY WEIGHED MYSELF Y'ALL
/u/Eldritchwhore369 [5'7" | 106 | 16.8 BMI | -19 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 6 18:29:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bjfse/i_finally_weighed_myself_yall/
---
Okay, I should probably wait until there's a stickied thread for victories but I just couldn't wait.

I FINALLY got paid, and I finally bought a scale. It's not a great scale, but I'm not terribly concerned with accuracy right now, just getting a good ballpark for my weight.

While opening the packaging, trying to arrange the scale evenly on my bathroom floor, and peeling off my jeans, I was full of anxiety. My intake this month hadn't been stellar, but I'd been regularly restricting, fasting, and exercising. I've refused to try and properly estimate my weight lately. Without a scale I'm pretty much useless. No idea what my body actually looks like.

One deep breath, followed by another.

*Your weight does not define you as a person. You've put on a little muscle lately. Any fluctuation is reversible.*

On and on, bouncing around my skull as I fidgeting from one foot to another, goosebumps prickling in the freezing bathroom.

I'M 110lbs you guys! Officially underweight again. This is with food and drinks in my stomach, so the true weigh in will be tomorrow.

I can't believe it. I still feel huge. But I took out my goal jeans (An Aéropostale 0 Super Skinny) and I CAN PUT THEM ON. They're still to small to fasten, and I've got half an inch of butt fat sticking out the top (I have a disproportionately large butt), but a month ago I couldn't even get them over my thighs.

It almost brought me to tears. I had to share. Holy fuck y'all. Holy fuck.

[Discussion] How do you guys deal with the headaches/lightheadedness/brain fog when restricting?
/u/iwanttoblowaway [5'9 | 126.1 | 18.29 | 21 M]
Created: Sun Nov 6 17:59:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bjab1/how_do_you_guys_deal_with_the/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bjab1/how_do_you_guys_deal_with_the/

[Tip] my no. 1 tip to live by
/u/get-fucking-thin [5'5" | 142 | 23.63 | -10 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 6 17:26:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bj4eo/my_no_1_tip_to_live_by/
---
Eat as though your bf/gf or your crush is watching. Would you binge if they were standing right there?


This has gotten me through so many moments when I was ready to binge/give up. Hope it does the same for you <3

[Intro] Reasons to be thin
/u/get-fucking-thin [5'5" | 142 | 23.63 | -10 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 6 17:10:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bj1a7/reasons_to_be_thin/
---
[removed]

[Thinspo] Thinspo: the women of Friends
/u/mimidudette [5'8" | CW 160 lbs | GW 150 | UGW 125 | 19f]
Created: Sun Nov 6 16:56:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5biypy/thinspo_the_women_of_friends/
---
Friends is my go-to depression binge-watching-in-bed-and-not-moving show, & I have SO much love for Monica, Rachel and Phoebe. Although the show is old, I feel like I relate to a lot of their money/job/life struggles, and obviously they are super fashionable and gorgeous! The best form of Friends thinspo is watching the actual show (I swear it should be renamed to Friends and Also, an Homage to Small Waists and Beautiful Collarbones and Shoulders), because seeing them in motion makes you really appreciate just how freaking skinny they are, but I've made an album of images as an homage to these three super cool ladies and thought I'd share :)

Album: http://imgur.com/a/2cpwy

[Help] Having troubles ending a fast
/u/_skellies
Created: Sun Nov 6 16:51:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bixpn/having_troubles_ending_a_fast/
---
I've been fasting for the last almost 6 days and it definitely feels like I need to break it... I don't want to binge but I need something substantive in my stomach. I'm weak, having troubles with walking, can't focus, and I'm sooooo tired.

The thought of food is completely revolting. Even smelling it makes me gag. I was able to keep down maybe half an egg this morning but it was so hard. I've been drinking tons of water and I'll drink some broth later to get something in me but I have no idea what else I'm going to do until my mind just decides it's okay to eat again.

[Other] [Other] I feel violated and disgusting
/u/mace__face [5'6 | CW:112 | BMI:18.08 | GW:108 | F -16lbs]
Created: Sun Nov 6 14:33:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bi7q7/other_i_feel_violated_and_disgusting/
---
Sorry to post this here, I don't know where else I can go. It's long, feel free to ignore.

I'm an American girl living in Jordan and before coming here I was warned about harassment. The cat calling, creepy words whispered as you pass a guy and other shit- that's a daily occurrence and I've dealt with it, but today is the first time anyone has touched me.

I was walking home from buying veggies and it was in a place where he and I were the only two there. I was walking up the stairs and he was walking down and he grabbed my ass as we passed. I say grabbed, it felt worse than that- just utterly violating idk how to explain it. I turned around and started yelling at him (in English bc apparently my Arabic goes out the window when I'm stressed) and told him I was going to call the police. He didn't even look scared. That was the worst part, the sick, amused look in his eyes and I see it every time I close mine. I wish I had hit him but I couldn't think straight and I was worried he might do something else, he was way bigger than me.

Then the short walk back home I had a panic attack, the first in a very long time. Now I feel a kind of shame for how it made me feel, if that makes sense. Like there are poor girls who have been raped and worse and I'm here losing my shit bc I got groped on the street. Idk, I feel pathetic and weak. And when I got home I had planned to eat my meal for the day but the thought of food made me sick- that's a plus right? Wrong. Bc my fucked up brain decided that not eating was my choice to make and not something to do bc of this asshole so I over corrected and ate more than twice my calorie allotment for the day. It's all fucked up. I'm all fucked up. Fuck.

[Help] DAE family's comment on their weight all the time?
/u/charredsouls
Created: Sun Nov 6 13:10:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bhqwz/dae_familys_comment_on_their_weight_all_the_time/
---
Hey there, I've been a lurker for a while on this sub. You guys are seriously awesome -- it's so nice being able to have a safe space where you're not going to be judged. I've struggled with an ED all my life in various forms, and I've been purging for a few months now. I've lost about 15 pounds in the last 2 months (I'm 5'11'' 140 pounds), so I wasn't 'big' before but have lost enough weight for other people to start noticing.

Yesterday I was at a family event and multiple people were commenting on my weight. Some said "you need to eat more" and others were commenting on being able to see my hip bones through my pants. There was food and others commented "we're going to make sure you eat." Obviously, I was extremely uncomfortable, considering I myself don't even like discussing my weight, let alone in front of family/strangers... Not to mention it's completely inappropriate to be commenting on someone else's body like that without their consent. I laughed it off and tried not to react, but inside I was going crazy.

To anybody else who has dealt with this, how do you react? Of course I don't want to freak out and make a scene, but I also don't feel I should have to consistently ignore what they say.

[Goal] Anyone want to join me in a binge free week? Day 7
/u/goodvibeswanted2
Created: Sun Nov 6 12:40:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bhkz6/anyone_want_to_join_me_in_a_binge_free_week_day_7/
---
Let's do it! Whether you've done it all seven days, some of the days, or you're just discovering this post, let's make today binge free!

[Discussion] tattoos as motivation
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 6 12:36:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bhk26/tattoos_as_motivation/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] "Woe to you, you who are full now, for you will be hungry."
/u/Comeheredia
Created: Sun Nov 6 12:28:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bhifi/woe_to_you_you_who_are_full_now_for_you_will_be/
---
I just got back from church today and that was part of our bible verse (Luke 6:25). It made me start thinking about my binge eating disorder. When I binge I can spend upwards of $100 dollars on food a day. If I had control of my BED I could use this $100 dollars on someone who actually needs food, or I could save it up and provide for my future self. I just feel really selfish right now and I want to change.

(sorry about the religious thing, I usually don't talk about it online, but this verse really spoke to me and I thought it might help someone else.)

[Intro] Lame Ass (and very late) intro
/u/faithfulbones [5'0" | 113lbs (GW 98) | 21 | -71 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 6 12:18:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bhge5/lame_ass_and_very_late_intro/
---
So, I've lurked here since February, and I think commented a few times but for the most part just lurked. I've had a history of disordered eating that started as (surprise!) a teen. I gained a bit more confidence (read: fat rolls) once I entered adulthood, and even more when I became preggers. I had my son in February, and very quickly started restricting heavily, which is why I started hanging around this place with all you lovely people. I've lost wayyyy more than all my pregnancy weight but I still have more that I want to lose. My biggest problem right now is motivation to keep going. I always make the excuse that I've lost so much weight, so I can afford to let my self eat X.

Long story short, I need to hold myself more accountable, so here I am, being active and shit :)

So, obviously, I'm a mom. I'm engaged to an amazing guy, i am a very very very anxious person, and I'm a special ed teaching assistant at the middle school level. I think that about sums me up lol

Also, I'm on mobile, so sorry for not using flair ❤️

[Discussion] DAE "If I eat this sandwich right now, I don't have an ED"
/u/three_two_bone [5'3" | hw: 139 | cw: 114 | gw: 95 | 19F]
Created: Sun Nov 6 12:15:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bhfsl/dae_if_i_eat_this_sandwich_right_now_i_dont_have/
---
Sometimes I tell myself in my head that I'm I can "prove" I'm not disordered by eating something normal or not logging a meal or something like that. Of course, I proceed to either not touch the thing or eat it & then cry about it. Clearly normal behavior, folks. I feel like this is weird, but if anyone else does it I'd find them here. This resonate with anyone? ://

[Discussion] DAE listen to the weeknd when fasting or restricting?
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 143.8 | 23.30 | -50ish | F]
Created: Sun Nov 6 10:12:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bgrz8/dae_listen_to_the_weeknd_when_fasting_or/
---
I swear, their style of music is my favorite thinspo. It's otherwordly/the sound i feel when im way too drunk or fucked up and i love it to detach from reality. Do you guys do that? Do you have any similar artists?

[Help] Plateauing over and over and over again HELP meltdown
/u/bobthebagqueen
Created: Sun Nov 6 10:10:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bgrl8/plateauing_over_and_over_and_over_again_help/
---
Guys I am at my wits end

I lost the first 60 pounds easily, 2-3 pounds a week no problem. Then I hit September. The weight just keeps getting stuck. I'm maybe losing 3 pounds a month. I'm spending 2-3 weeks at the same weight. I'm not even a normal BMI range yet so it shouldn't be like this

I eat 800 calories a day. I don't snack. I weigh every single thing that goes into my mouth. What is wrong with me? What am I doing wrong? I try not eating and literally gain 2 pounds. I was in the hospital for dehydration a few weeks ago so now I'm definitely drinking enough, probably more than I need


Please help me guys, I'm honestly having a meltdown

[Discussion] Let's talk best protein:calories ratio bars!!
/u/Rikicarvu [5'8" | 117lbs | 17.53 | -23lbs |]
Created: Sun Nov 6 09:58:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bgp5e/lets_talk_best_proteincalories_ratio_bars/
---
*Preface:* Reading this back I sound a bit like a frantic maniac, which I'm going to put down to the EC stack I just necked for the first time in months, I hope you can overlook this :P Also please double check my maths and methods because numbers are not my strong suit!

I have recently jumped into the world of protein and am keen to find the Holy Grail protein bar, i.e. shit tonnes of protein with minimal calories. I'm going to share the few different bars I have tried and would love if you guys could tell me about your faves as I am a woman on a mission! A mission to get super skinny but also with some abs and a good bum and basically look like I belong in the Victoria's Secret Angels line up (because I'm sure one product can do all that for me!)

So, first off I bought the **Bounce Peanut Protein Blast Ball** (say that 5 times quickly!), which was an impulse purchase from Boots with no research. 12 balls cost £19.25, and are 207 kcal with 14g protein.
14/207=**0.06 grams of protein per calorie**.
19.25/12=£1.60/ball, 1.60/14=**£0.11 per gram of protein**.

I found that these had a really good flavour (just don't expect them to be as delicious as actual peanut butter), and I actually started looking forward to 'treating' myself to one, which helped cut down the cravings for totally junk calories like chocolate and ice cream (and crisps and biscuits and pies and chips and sweets and...)

**THEN** I ordered some **Grenade Carb Killa** bars in *Fudge Brownie* flavour. 12 bars for £19.35 off Amazon UK, 215 kcal with 23.3g of Big Poppa.

23.3/215=**0.10 grams of protein per calorie**
19.35/12=£1.61 per bar, 1.61/23.3=**£0.06 per gram of protein**

These haven't arrived yet so I can't review the taste, if anyone has tried these let me know!

**SO**, to tide me over whilst I waited for the Grenade bars to arrive, I wandered round Holland and Barrett and picked up some **PowerPlus 52% protein Bars** in *Cookies and Cream* flavour. You can get 24 bars for £30.95 from Amazon uk. Each bar is 165kcal and packs a whopping 26g of the good stuff in em.

26/165= **0.15 grams of protein per calorie**.
30.95/24=£1.28 per bar, 1.28/26=**£0.04 per gram of protein!**

These do taste *suuuper* weird. In fact the first one I ate I nearly gagged, they taste like shit. They have a weird, almost petrol-like smell to them??! However the second one I ate went down fine, not good tasting but not gag-worthy, and I reckon I could get along with them in the long term, especially with those banging stats!

I hope these Grenade bars taste absolutely delicious otherwise I'm going to be kicking myself for not getting the PowerPlus!

Any of bars people have tried? I'd love to hear about high fibre bars too!!

[Thinspo] Alyona Ponomarenko Mini Albulm ♥
/u/Rikicarvu [5'8" | 117lbs | 17.53 | -23lbs |]
Created: Sun Nov 6 09:20:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bghyj/alyona_ponomarenko_mini_albulm/
---
http://imgur.com/a/TxtLf

[Thinspo] The only music video I keep going back to over and over again for thinspo...and I don't even like the song!
/u/Rikicarvu [5'8" | 117lbs | 17.53 | -23lbs |]
Created: Sun Nov 6 09:04:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bgezo/the_only_music_video_i_keep_going_back_to_over/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idr01rpcSfM

[Rant/Rave] You know what really grinds my gears
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | CW 114 | UGW 104 | 19.9 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 6 08:28:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bg8od/you_know_what_really_grinds_my_gears/
---
That extreme discipline is admired in sports but not in eating.

"Wow, he ran an ultra! That's impressive!"

"You're fasting for a *week?* That's creepy."

*sigh*

What do you do to "re-up" your motivation?
/u/dbishop22
Created: Sun Nov 6 06:56:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bftmm/what_do_you_do_to_reup_your_motivation/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] Binged a week in a row.
/u/bitsybones [5'2 | 140 | 25.6 | 137 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 6 06:20:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bfoch/binged_a_week_in_a_row/
---
Hey guys. On mobile, so I can't flair.

I went three weeks without bingeing. It was great and I've never felt more in control. I've lost 140 pounds over the past two years, but have gained back 20 just before hitting my goal weight. During the time I wasn't bingeing, I managed to lost 8 of the 20 pounds, but then all of a sudden my life decided to fall apart and I binged nonstop for a week, ruining all my progress I've made and now I'm up MORE than 20 pounds from my lowest.

My round face is starting to fill out again and I don't dare take my measurements. I feel sick and disgusted. I managed to lose all that weight without a problem and without bingeing, so why can't I do it now? Why can't I just hold out until I reach my goal weight and maintain? I hate this. I'm so tired of this.

[Discussion] The Scale
/u/eatdrinksmokegreen [5'4" | 133 lbs | 23.2 | -37 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Nov 6 06:19:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bfo8i/the_scale/
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Okay. . . So how often do you guys weigh yourselves? After my last attempt at ED recovery in 2012 I got rid of my scale. . . It was helpful because I wasn't obsessively weighing myself anymore but in the 3 years that scale was gone I put on a massive amount of weight and developed an intense fear of it. Since slipping into my disordered eating patterns again over the past year I've been losing and was finally able to start weighing myself a few months ago. At first I limited myself to once a month but now I've been doing it weekly. Stalled progress or (god forbid) gains make me super depressed so stepping on that scale is always a huge struggle. So. . . What kind of weigh-in/scale routines/rituals do you guys practice?

On a side note, down 2 pounds this week. I want to be happy about the loss but 2 pounds in a week is basically NOTHING so I've got to work a lot harder this week. . .

[Rant/Rave] Didn't believe i had an ED
/u/bloodketosexmagic
Created: Sun Nov 6 05:37:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bfix1/didnt_believe_i_had_an_ed/
---
Anyone who's connected with me on peach has probably seen the shit storm I've been in this week, but i just wanted to post here.

My alcoholic mother has destroyed my family. She quit her job, never attends her outpatient sessions. shows very little willingness to change.

It gets really really bad around christmas, like police get involved bad. I just don't want that for the fourth year in a row.

I developed my ED becuase of the fear and distress she instilled into me every time i entered my own home. Until now she was the only one who i refused to tell.

I had enough and opened up to her on Thursday. Told her id been going to the same outpatient clinic as her since June. That i was the reason cereal was banned in the house for nearly a year. That i almost understood her addiction because i had the same one with food. I needed her to understand she wasn't the only one suffering, and that her choices had consequences much more serious than people being upset. She had made her daughter very sick and she had to fix it alone herself.

She was drunk less than 48 hours later.

I was very hurt by this and saw the whole thing as a sign i wasn't important to her anymore. I know alcohol addiction makes you do inconsiderate things but could she not even go a week? My daddy, God bless him, is heartbroken by everything. And he tried his best last night to comfort me and ask me not to take all of this so personally, which i just couldn't help. But reassured him i wouldn't.

Not its Sunday morning. My dad has a talk with my mum. He comes to me and says that she didnt believe me when i told her all about my ED.

She didnt believe me.

I have been going through such torment and pain for so long and my own mother didn't acknowledge it.

I reacted quite badly as you would imagine. I haven't said two words out loud since he said to me a while ago and there is a pit in my stomach right now.

Never felt more invalid in my entire life.

Edit: maybe some context should be given. Im 22 years old, 5'3 and 145lbs. Not underweight, so obviously can't have an eating disorder.

[Sticky] (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧ It's Sunday! Post all the memes November 06, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Nov 6 05:09:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bffss/ノヮノ゚_its_sunday_post_all_the_memes_november_06/
---
This is the weekly 'Shitpost' Sunday thread for November 06, 2016.

This is the perfect place for all of your memes and humor posts!

*****

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 06, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Nov 6 05:08:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bffs9/daily_food_diary_november_06_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 06, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Rant/Rave] Just got a care package
/u/thebroco
Created: Sun Nov 6 02:04:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5beypv/just_got_a_care_package/
---
I just got a care package from a friend, and it was full of junk food :/ Now I have chocolate bars and chips just sitting around in my dorm room and it's honestly driving me crazy, I don't know what to do with it! It's all expensive vegan treats, it was such a nice gift and I can't just throw it all away but I've been doing so good with not binging lately (2 weeks!!) and I just feel like having all this junk food around is making me super anxious. Ugh, I don't know what to do.

[Other] [other] I think I'm ready to live.
/u/099103501 [166cm | cw 111lbs| bmi 18.3]
Created: Sun Nov 6 01:46:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bex6p/other_i_think_im_ready_to_live/
---
I don't want to disappear anymore. Tonight my boyfriend asked me to please please not lose anymore weight. This is the first time that anyone has said something that's really connected, and I think it was the way he said it. It was heartbreaking and even if I don't want to get better for myself, I want to be better for him. I think that I can use that to help myself learn to eat enough again. I'm so scared but I love him, I can't slowly kill myself any longer. I need to fight and rid myself of this hell. I'm saying goodbye to sharp bones and perpetual cold, to the straw-like hair and the weakness. I hate the disorder thats ruled my life for so long.

[Help] snapping yourself out of a craving?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 6 01:11:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5beok9/snapping_yourself_out_of_a_craving/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Has anyone here ever been in hospital for your disorder? I want to hear your story.
/u/zoeglowey [5'2" | 104 | BMI 19 | - 23 | Female]
Created: Sun Nov 6 01:03:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bentm/has_anyone_here_ever_been_in_hospital_for_your/
---
I'm curious what it's like to have to go through inpatient treatment for an eating disorder. I just want to know the reality of it.
I've struggled with this disorder for a long time and have never been underweight enough to require inpatient treatment.
I want to hear your experience and how you felt about it, and if it changed anything for you.

chat partner?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 6 01:01:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5benj5/chat_partner/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Things people say about you?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 5 23:42:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5befak/things_people_say_about_you/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Caffeine intake
/u/avalonrose14
Created: Sat Nov 5 23:26:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bedit/caffeine_intake/
---
This is my first post on here and I'm on mobile so I apologize in advance for no flair and any other mistakes.

I was curious about how much caffeine all of you have each day and any side effects you get from it. I don't like tea or coffee and I've kind of become an energy drink addict (I love the 0 cal fruit punch rockstars).

I've noticed I always each a lot less on days I have caffeine and I've been dabbling with caffeine amounts that'll help me lose weight the best without terrible side effects. I know it suppresses appetite and boosts your metabolism both of which are super helpful.

"How much are you looking to lose?"
/u/dec4y [5'3|cw:139.8|gw:95|-25lbs|F]
Created: Sat Nov 5 22:44:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5be89z/how_much_are_you_looking_to_lose/
---
I'm hanging out with my boyfriend and his friend, and while we were at a pizza place I was complaining about the smell. My boyfriends friend asked why I didn't get pizza and my boyfriend told him I'm trying to diet. They were talking about it like I wasn't there so I just sat quietly until the friend looked at me and asked how much I wanted to lose. I hesitated because saying 50 pounds (at least) would look weird to them as they think I look fine so he just said "until you're happy with yourself?" When I agreed he went back to talking to my boyfriend and making jokes about how that never works because nobody is ever really happy with their body.
I can't really stop thinking about that. It's just really really true. Like..... I do want to lose weight until I'm happy with myself, and so far 95 pounds just seems like a good starting point. I am scared that I'll never really be happy with myself though... I dunno. Sorry for the pointless post.
[cant flair on mobile sorry]

[Intro] Thank fuck I found you guys
/u/iwanttoblowaway [5'9 | 126.1 | 18.29 | 21 M]
Created: Sat Nov 5 21:56:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5be1su/thank_fuck_i_found_you_guys/
---
New poster here! Hi everybody!!! I can't tell anybody in my life any of this so I'm gonna tell you all.

22 years old and I feel like the most fucked up person in the world most of the time but I'm horrified of gaining weight so I'm not going to change a thing. The *dad bod* would never fit me. On the plus side, my fear of gaining weight is probably the only thing keeping me from getting hammered every day. I love drinking but I try to only drink on Friday nights because I always feel so guilty about how many carbs and calories I'm taking in. I can balance it out though because I usually just don't eat anything at all the day after I drink. I eat like 2 fairly small meals each day and my weight is staying the same, so I feel like if I ate any more than that, I'd gain. On top of that, I run 3-4 miles each day, 4-5 days each week.

I was 141 in March and I looked absolutely disgusting so I stopped eating chips and shit like that at night, then I stopped drinking regular soda, then I stopped eating outside of meals, then I started eating less at meals and stopped eating more than an apple or 80 calorie greek yogurt for breakfast. Diet coke and diet dr. pepper are my best friends. I know, I'll probably get cancer or something from it some day but it keeps me from getting hungry

I don't have a goal weight, or even plans to lose more weight, but the scale's been stuck at 128 for like 3 weeks now and I just want it to go down again but all I want right now is a goddamn donut. Or 6. I haven't had anything sweet in a week. I put on so much weight in the past couple weeks but it's finally gone. I went on vacation with my family and had to eat when I was with them, then I ate so much halloween candy last week I hated myself. I don't eat candy but I did on halloween. Probably like 10 halloween-sized chocolate stuff. I was like 138 and felt so gross and bloated. Deep down I knew it was mostly water weight but it still sucked. But it's finally gone. It's so fucked up though. I had a salad with chicken (literally lettuce, a grilled slim-cut skinless chicken breast fillet, and lime juice) for dinner and I feel like I just ate way too much. That was my first meal today.

One of my really close friends seems a little concerned with my eating habits (or lack thereof) but she only brought it up once when I didn't order anything when I had to go to dinner with friends. She doesn't matter though - so many people have told me I look so good lately that it's all that matters. And I do. I look damn good right now, but i feel like I'd look better if I was 125. Or 122. Or 120. I don't know. Eating out makes me hate myself but I feel like I have to once in a while to keep my friends happy so they'll keep inviting me to stuff. My life is so much fun right now. I go to the bar with all my friends at least once a week, or the casino. I'd love to go the bar every night but I'd be huge. So anyways, I feel like I have to appease them and eat out sometimes when they invite me so the fun won't end. Usually I can get out of it saying I have other dinner plans/leftovers/whatever but sometimes I go because who tf has dinner plans all the time that none of their best friends are involved in right? Sometimes I have to go throw it up in the parking lot if its an exceptionally greasy disgusting meal (tex-mex, I'm looking right at you)

The biggest downside is that sometimes I wish I could *not* think about food and calories and weight 24/7 but I've learned to live with it. Actually, I wish that all the time. I hate that I know the nutritional content of most foods the average person would come across on a daily basis. I hate that I can't eat a cookie and if I do, I won't eat anything else for the rest of the day, and I'll probably go for a second run. I hate that I don't eat muffins, candy, milk, french fries, and cake. If I could remember school stuff as easily as I do nutritional stuff, I'd be hands down the best student in my entire university.

The other night, I had a dream that I stepped on the scale and weighed 112 and I felt weightless. I could run for hours and hours without getting tired.

Anyways, that's me in a nutshell. A long ass nutshell, sorry.

[Discussion] Dorm rooms & related anxieties
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 170lb | M]
Created: Sat Nov 5 21:44:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5be003/dorm_rooms_related_anxieties/
---
(I'm just going to assume I get into my target university, because I can't deal with that separate worry right now)

Disordered eating makes my life a mess-- shocker--and I'm worried about how that'll affect me living in college residence. The best case scenario would be a bleakly painted apartment stocked with water and Quaker Oats, but the world is not a wish granting factory and I'm not independently wealthy.

So, realistically, I'm wondering how to keep it together while I'm there. The university I mentioned makes the choice SINGLE ROOM or SHARING A ROOM. There's no halfway space that I could finagle for a slightly larger bite taken from financial aid, and I'm just not stoked about cohabiting with other guys for, at minimum, a year? It causes me so much stress, even though they're going to be slightly smarter than the ones at my The Confederate South Is Ascendant rural high school.

How do I not lose my mind, next autumn when it all comes together? How do I not use this as an opportunity to retreat into myself and my disorder? How do I deal with the cultures of binge drinking, eating, and bulking?

Advice appreciated!

(\^not disparaging people with BED I mean it in the American "2kcal meals are normal" sense. Also, it sounds prettier with alliteration)

[Rant/Rave] LOVE U ALL
/u/throwaway03199519 [5'5 3/4 | CW: 113.6 | GW: lmfao | HW: 136]
Created: Sat Nov 5 21:33:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bdyjv/love_u_all/
---
So drunk and really love u all. Ur all beautiful and great. Thank.

[Rant/Rave] I'll do anything to lose weight!......except stop eating.
/u/niahviv [5'5" | 131 | 21.80 | -14 |]
Created: Sat Nov 5 20:50:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bdrzs/ill_do_anything_to_lose_weightexcept_stop_eating/
---
Just a little rant, don't know where else to turn.

I'm so sick and tired of being lazy and eating so goddamn much. I've been "stuck" at 133 pounds for OVER a fucking month. I'm so desperate to reach my goal weight, but apparently not enough to put the fucking fork down and go exercise. Fuck bulimia, seriously.

[Help] How do you forgive yourself and get back on track with your day?
/u/TopCat1392 [5'3.5" | FAT | ??? | -16.2 | GW:92.6 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 5 20:15:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bdmkf/how_do_you_forgive_yourself_and_get_back_on_track/
---
Really, how? I'll restrict well for weeks, months even and then I'll screw up and eat something absolutely calorific and hate myself. And instead of logging my mistake and moving on with my day I instead decide my day is ruined. IF I'm lucky, I reset the next day. But this time, I decided that not only the day, week, and month were ruined (as if that weren't bad enough), NO this time I decided the rest of 2016 is ruined and have been out of control binging for over a month. HELP ME PLEASE 😭😢😱

[Help] How to end the b/p cycle?
/u/lovelybones98 [5'2 | 115 | 21 | 6lbs | F ]
Created: Sat Nov 5 19:25:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bdegr/how_to_end_the_bp_cycle/
---
I used to never binge and now I can't stop and I purge after. My weight is going up and I just can't stop. I want to get back to restricting because it's what really works for me to lose weight. But I just can't get out of this cycle someone help please.

I need some meanspo as fuel
/u/sprinkle1997 [5'2 | CW 129 GW 100 | -25 lbs | 19F]
Created: Sat Nov 5 19:20:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bddl0/i_need_some_meanspo_as_fuel/
---
[removed]

The first time I've felt genuinely panicked after eating too much...?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 5 18:57:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bd9so/the_first_time_ive_felt_genuinely_panicked_after/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] My little victory for the day
/u/thorngren92 [5'7" | CW 152.6 | 23.8 | -21 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 5 18:53:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bd95s/my_little_victory_for_the_day/
---
So lately I have been slowly but steadily losing weight, but seeing my parents always messes me up as we are a big eating family. My parents came to visit me today to hike and go out for mexican food (my weakness). I had a smallish breakfast of 215 calories to get me through the morning.

We hiked 2.5 miles before lunch. I ordered a vegetarian taco salad which consisted of: sautéed zucchini, squash, red and green bell pepper, refried beans, lettuce, tomatoes, and shredded cheese (I didn't eat the fried salad shell). I did munch on chips, salsa, and guacamole until our food came put because I was soooo hungry after the first hike.

After lunch we hiked another 2 miles and they my parents went home. So 4.5 miles of hiking total. I just entered all of lunch into MFP and came up with a total 1,126 calories which obviously is a lot, but with the small breakfast, no need for dinner, and all the hiking I still came out with a ~800 calorie deficit today.

*I'm on mobile and can't flair.

[Rant/Rave] Haha, my ED is starting to spiral out of control 👌
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 5 18:04:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bd0vl/haha_my_ed_is_starting_to_spiral_out_of_control/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] fuck college dorms
/u/yikes_dot_com [5'6 | 111 | 17.9 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 5 17:45:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bcxt4/fuck_college_dorms/
---
I had two pints of halo top left that I bought the other day and stored in the freezer in the kitchen in my dorm--budgeted one pint of chocolate into my calorie goal for today, got to the kitchen to find out someone had stolen it. Wtf. I had it in a plastic bag with my initials and the date as per protocol. They left the other pint (birthday cake) but I was really craving chocolate... :( fuck this, I can't wait to get out of here

edit: forgot to mention it's really expensive where I live, those babies cost $6 a pop. I'm so fucking angry

[Tip] [Tip] for Americans that have a Dollar Tree nearby..
/u/Nipple_tugboat
Created: Sat Nov 5 17:42:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bcx8q/tip_for_americans_that_have_a_dollar_tree_nearby/
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30 "Energy" Tablets (80mg of caffeine each), **ONE DOLLAR**.

I did the math, normally I buy these at CVS, and it's 11.50 for 80 capsules of 200mg. This would be 1,391.3mg per dollar. (At Dollar Tree, it would be 2,400mg per dollar)

=======================

30 "Green Tea Slim" Tablets (40mg Chromium, 100mg Green Tea Leaf Extract, 25mg Yerba Mate Leaf Extract, 25mg Apple Cider Vinegar Powder), **ONE DOLLAR**.

(This one may be worth less than your other Green Tea Extract, depending on what you get and what other ingredients are in it)

=======================

Just something I thought might help some people!

Unfortunately they also stock Pixie Stix for a dollar, one of my many weaknesses...

My dinner is supplements. I agreed. Fuck me.
/u/iamedgarstiles
Created: Sat Nov 5 17:39:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bcwp7/my_dinner_is_supplements_i_agreed_fuck_me/
---
How do I add flair? On mobile, Reddit app.

[Rant/Rave] DAE eat even if they're not hungry!?!?
/u/tuftpuppy [5"4 | ??? | F]
Created: Sat Nov 5 16:48:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bcnoz/dae_eat_even_if_theyre_not_hungry/
---
I'm starting to become mad at myself because for the past 2 weeks or so I've been BARELY hungry, even when my stomach was growling I didn't feel ravenous... but I ate anyway.

I always plan my daily intake the night before/the morning of the day and I get anxious if I don't eat everything I plan. I end up eating my planned 800-900kcals/day when I honestly could be eating like 500kcal max and feel fine. I guess it stresses me out because of the fear of muscle-loss (I have heart problems and muscle disease) but I could be losing more weight!! Ugh

Anyone else have this problem??

[Rant/Rave] Anyone around that I can rant to?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 5 16:35:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bclip/anyone_around_that_i_can_rant_to/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Opinions on the app My Fitness Pal?
/u/Frinada [5'4 | 154 | 26.4 | 0lbs | Girl]
Created: Sat Nov 5 16:32:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bckzn/opinions_on_the_app_my_fitness_pal/
---
I just started using it and I love it however it's very hard to find any "friends" who understand having an ED. Also is there a way to stop the warning after completing an entry :(


Also does anyone have an account and want to be friends?



[Thinspo] small Audrey thinspo album (retro)
/u/three_two_bone [5'3" | hw: 139 | cw: 114 | gw: 95 | 19F]
Created: Sat Nov 5 15:12:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bc6ny/small_audrey_thinspo_album_retro/
---
[here](http://imgur.com/a/8zRKN)

Audrey Hepburn is one of my ultimate fave thinspo celebs. she's not incredibly tiny but she is SO graceful. thought I'd share some faves w y'all :)

[Help] Beginning to have *real* bulimia and alcoholism. Wonderful. TW lots of food talk inside
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 5 14:49:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bc2ju/beginning_to_have_real_bulimia_and_alcoholism/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] just b/p'd for the first time
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 5 14:17:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bbwpl/just_bpd_for_the_first_time/
---
I feel so fucking guilty and ashamed of myself. In middle through high school I never actually managed to purge, but I guess I've become more worldly with age. I honestly don't know why I did it...I wasn't really even hungry, it was like I was on autopilot and I was just doing it because I could. I've had a really great week, always way under my goal and with no real cravings, but here I am anyway. Why???


I don't think I actually got it all out, but I started seeing red flecks so called it quits. I think I at least got enough out that I was left with a normal sized meal. I don't know what I hoped to get from posting this, I just don't have anywhere/anyone else I could go to. I feel like such a piece of shit.

[Rant/Rave] Quarter jar of peanut butter
/u/kafka__dreams
Created: Sat Nov 5 13:27:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bbnfh/quarter_jar_of_peanut_butter/
---
I weighed a lower weight than ive weighed in months. 116.8. But I have to work and I didnt eat yesterday. So for some reason I chose to eat like 1000 calories of peanut butter. At least I'm not dizzy anymore.

[Goal] Anyone want to join me in a binge free week? Day 6
/u/goodvibeswanted2
Created: Sat Nov 5 13:20:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bbm60/anyone_want_to_join_me_in_a_binge_free_week_day_6/
---
Let's do this! Another day, another day we don't binge eat!

[Rant/Rave] I'm so discouraged right now guys and gals, but I have to get back into the groove. [Long]
/u/TiredOfBeingFat_ [6'0"| CW251 |BMI34 | 22lost | GW130]
Created: Sat Nov 5 13:03:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bbiyb/im_so_discouraged_right_now_guys_and_gals_but_i/
---
So I have lumbar scoliosis and spondilolothesis(a couple of my back plates slide and grind up against one another) So I went to the doctor last Friday and I was up one pound to 243, then last Saturday I began my first period since I had my Skyla iud put in about a month ago. I had been on a plateau for the past couple of weeks even with restricting so I figured I'd just quit counting and gain a few pounds and maybe it would be able to kick start my losing again when I put effort into it.

Well I've been binging for the past week, and with some of the pain pills I've been taking I've been kind of constipated when usually I'm shitting my guts out. Well I went to weigh myself this morning after trying to go to the bathroom and the scale said 247. So I freaked out and binged a little. 5 pieces pizza and an egg, bacon, and cheese biscuit from McDonald's. (not really a huge quanity binge, but a high calorie one at that)

I can't figure out if I've really gained four pounds in the past week or if it's just period bloat+constipation. I'm going to try to get back into my routine of restricting to 800 calories and exercising at least an hour a day. But I've been pretty depressed as well due to medicine issues and I binge when I'm depressed. Going to the doctor this Wednesday to see what can be done.

At this point I feel like I'm just doomed to always be this obese whale of a girl who is always stuffing her face... :( I was honestly getting kind of happy with the way I was starting to look too and I only had 42 pounds left till my first goal weight of 200. And I went from 270 to 242 in like three months. But now I'm just setting myself back.

And honestly even when I was still binging early in the beginning, I was purging and losing a fuck ton of weight, but my boyfriend lives with me and he kept freaking out about my purging so I slowly quit And have been clean for about a month now. But I've been so tempted to do it so many times since then. And he supports me in wanting to lose weight, but hates the way I had been doing it. So I'm trying to do it a little bit of a healthier way. Because I'm not trying to be thin really, I just want to not be obese anymore and I want to beat my binge eating once and for all.

So here's to trying to kick my depressed butt into gear starting today and getting back on track. Thanks for always letting me get this weight off my shoulders(literally lmao) ProED. You are the only place I can vent without feeling subjected to shame. ❤

[Goal] My waist is at its smallest measurement since forever
/u/scyphomedusae [5'6" | 114 lbs | 18.48 | -30 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 5 12:23:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bbbjk/my_waist_is_at_its_smallest_measurement_since/
---
Helloooo
Just wanted to share this with you all cause I'm very happy :-))))

I measured my waist and I'm at 26 inches, my lowest - which might not sound that much but to me is very good, since I was a competitive swimmer throughout my entire childhood/early teens and so my waistline has always been a bit "erased".
I'm starting to finally, objectively seeing that I'm thinner - just waiting to see that in the mirror haha

thanks to you all for the support and the lovely community, probably would have had a lot harder of a time without this!

[Discussion] Instagram acc names!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 5 11:51:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bb593/instagram_acc_names/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] i'm going to residential soon and i'm not ready.
/u/moggettt [5'5 | 105.2 | 17.5 | NB]
Created: Sat Nov 5 11:46:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bb4d4/im_going_to_residential_soon_and_im_not_ready/
---
there's no way i'm going to be able to weasel my way out of it, there are too many people watching me now. all i can really hope for is that insurance will hold it up for a while longer or something.

at this rate i'll be in residential over thanksgiving (which is an excuse to not go back to my hometown, but still). god i'm really not ready to go. i'm so close to my goal.

this womps. completely. people keep telling me my behavior's gotten out of control but i just need a little more time.

[Discussion] I know I'm not the only one in a loveless marriage.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 5 11:20:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bazkk/i_know_im_not_the_only_one_in_a_loveless_marriage/
---
[deleted]

So Lucky to have this man as my BF. So motivating in any situation.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 5 11:07:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bax64/so_lucky_to_have_this_man_as_my_bf_so_motivating/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/4b7910a657dc474aab38903bf7600b7f?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=40ff0ba3f16d8c9ea94685f52d0e210b

[Goal] Goal: I have a ways to go but these jeans haven't fit me in a long time! Feeling pretty good!!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 5 10:52:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5bauaj/goal_i_have_a_ways_to_go_but_these_jeans_havent/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/48b15e484b4c41be89777ccaaab2faf9?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=c34d1b4ff7579768f54f31524f9af022

[Rant/Rave] Had such a crap day and now obsessing about food
/u/WorstCunt [donkey brain]
Created: Sat Nov 5 10:22:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5baoqd/had_such_a_crap_day_and_now_obsessing_about_food/
---
I'm fasting atm but I've had such an emotionally jarring day that all I can think of is food. I want to binge and purge so badly but I know I will be completely overcome with shame and guilt afterwards. So much so that it would probably throw me into a b+p cycle and undo all my hard work.

I probably won't binge (I hope...) but it's still disturbing feeling so tormented by these thoughts. I wish they would just go away. I wish I could stop letting my emotions have such a strong hold over me. I can't control what other people do but I want to be able to control how I react and I feel like it's impossible sometimes.



[Rant/Rave] I planned to fast all week in preparation for my LDR boyfriend visiting this weekend....
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 5 09:01:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5baa61/i_planned_to_fast_all_week_in_preparation_for_my/
---
But oops, I binged every night this week too :'D
And now I feel like my life is out of control :'D
But he is traveling all the way here and we have all these plans and it's so exciting :'D
So I have to suppress my complete panic and disgust and live the life of a normal person :'D
And channel every shred of 'sexy' I feel within me to not ruin this visit :'D
He is leaving tomorrow morning (yes, it is a very brief visit, he just happened to have a ride both days so he's a rockstar for coming).
I will fix this starting tomorrow.
I will just enjoy today and tonight with him and put "ED" on the back burner for the sake of living.

:'D :'D

[Help] Almost every food is a fear food
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 5 08:35:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ba62a/almost_every_food_is_a_fear_food/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Anyone ever binged on nuts?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [Everybody's Fool]
Created: Sat Nov 5 07:10:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b9tq1/anyone_ever_binged_on_nuts/
---
I generally keep my diet low-fat, but recently I've been having mini-binges on nuts! Only specifically recently (and I do want to specify only mini-binges, like 500-700kcal).. it's gotten colder here, I'm not sure if that's it? Do we tend to want more fats in our diet in colder weather? I know the cold can do funny things to appetite/cravings..

I'm trying to find a reason why I might be doing this, when high fat foods were pretty easy for me to resist even when I keep a low fat diet consistently. It COULD just be because I labelled last week as maintenance week and went a bit crazy on the nuts as it was (because I really just like the taste of them!) so my mini-binge today was just the remnants of that 'more free' mindset and will change after the turn of the new week (I seem to operate like that sometimes..) ... or it could be something else. I'm not going at them every day or anything, it just pops up once in a while and I need to get me some nuts!

While I'm working this out, anyone else have tales of going absolutely ridiculous on the nuts, to make me feel better about doing it and less like a nut obsessed nutcase? Like I have a whole cupboard of chocolate and junk to binge on.. but nope, I'm grabbing two/three snack packs of nuts. Cus I just NEED NUTS.

[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! November 05, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Nov 5 06:07:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b9lx0/stupid_questions_saturday_november_05_2016/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for November 05, 2016.

Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

*****

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 05, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Nov 5 06:07:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b9lwl/daily_food_diary_november_05_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 05, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Discussion] Politeness
/u/inokenta13 [5'8.5" | CW 131.8 | BMI 20.0 | GW 115 | 25F]
Created: Sat Nov 5 03:37:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b972i/politeness/
---
Hi all, I'm new to the community and hoping for some feedback (no pun intended). I'm meeting a friend tomorrow who I haven't hung out with much and she offered to bring me coffee. I tried to do the low maintenance thing where I was like, "Anything's fine! I love coffee!" instead of being like "It has to be skinny!!!" but now I'm sort of panicking at the thought of unrestrained calories. She decided to bring me a white chocolate peppermint mocha (which actually sounds really good) and I can assume it will be made with 2% because that's standard at most coffee shops, so I can make an educated guess about the caloric content but it still freaks me out. I want to be able to accept spontaneity and generosity without a bunch of caveats, but my anxiety gets in the way.
DAE experience this?

[Discussion] DAE use the app Argus?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105 | GW: 99 | 18.0 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 5 02:25:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b90o2/dae_use_the_app_argus/
---
And if you do, do you find that it underestimates the number of calories you burn every day? All of the other calculators I've used estimate I need anywhere between 1400 to 1800 a day, but Argus seems to think I only burn 1200? That shouldn't even cover my BMR. It makes me worried that I'm not burning nearly as many calories as I thought.

[Intro] Finally joined...
/u/xxx07v [5'6" | cw: 96lbs | bmi: 15.69 | - 24lbs| F]
Created: Sat Nov 5 00:21:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b8ojv/finally_joined/
---
So I finally decided to join after lurking for the past few months...cause I guess things have become harder and I guess I want some sort of support...Anyway, this subreddit has been one of my few comforts to get me through hard times with my "ed". I don't know if I do have an ed but I know that I identify with so many of the things said here that finding this subreddit was such a relief, like finally!! someone who feels the same as I do inside, the stress of eating and all the other forms of stress (social, school, mental...) that comes with it...I'm just really thankful for this sub:)

I guess restricting was still manageable during my summer break but once Uni life started again, I've just felt like such a mess, ready to break down any moment. The things that direct me now are my assignments and food, if I have to eat, its because I need the energy and the brain juice to do my projects which require ideas. I'm an art student so a lot of my projects rely on ideas and when I'm deprived of the mental capacity to even think (due to low food intake), I end up being more stressed up as I decided between food and school work. It's also been a bit hard as of late as people are starting to notice I've lost weight (though I just can't see it myself) and keep encouraging me to eat. When they do offer me food, I just see it as some sort of conspiracy to fatten me up and I just feel even worse inside cause these same people are my family and friends who I know do it out of concern. However, my relationship with food has just screwed up my way of thinking to such a degree that I end up doubting all my friends and family when it comes to eating. [DAE feel that way?:(] I just wish I could stop thinking about calories and food and my thighs and ughhh and spent more time on school so I can create better works but I know that so far, I've only been happy if I lose weight. In the past, I was always concerned with my weight but didn't put that much thought into it, I guess I was still "normal" back then. A few months back, some stuff happened and I entered this really dark phase and somehow restricting and counting calories gave me a strange feeling of being in control. This made me feel like I was slowly getting my life back together especially when restricting actually resulted in weight loss (action=result). With that mindset in mind, I just became even more focused at it and now it feels like a permanent thing which is starting to slowly ruin other things in life. Like I'm aware of how its taking a toll on school and my social life but I just refuse to let it go cause letting loose becomes another form of stress to me. Okay, I apologise for all the "and"s and bad writing but I just really don't know how to put it together. Now, I'm just feeling really stressed out cause I was 97lbs last week and now I'm stuck at 99lbs. I know I'm at quite a low stage but this feeling of suddenly gaining just makes me feel like I haven been doing things right, like I'm losing control. Maybe its my period and water weight but I haven been bleeding in edges, only feeling cramps so I can't confirmed. I wish all that is just water weight but I don't know and that scares me. Moreover, all my final projects are due soon and this feeling isn't helping. Sigh. sorry my intro became a rant but I guess I needed an avenue to channel it somewhere...

[Discussion] DAE have stores that trigger them?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105 | GW: 99 | 18.0 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 4 23:39:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b8jps/dae_have_stores_that_trigger_them/
---
For me, I can't shop at H&M anymore. Their inconsistent sizing plus the weird fun house mirrors and fluorescent lighting is always a trigger for me.
Am I the only one or do you experience this too?

[Discussion] Control in other parts of your life = control over your eating?
/u/caithaa [5'7 | 121 | 18.94 | 19F 🌼]
Created: Fri Nov 4 23:39:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b8joo/control_in_other_parts_of_your_life_control_over/
---
Hey everyone, recently I realized that I tend to binge a lot when my life is "messy".

Let's say all my clothes are freshly washed, folded and put away, I wouldn't binge. Instead, I'd be inspired to restrict.

Or let's say I just did a full self-care routine - cleansing my face, moisturizing etc. usually takes like an hour to do everything, I would never binge after that.

On the other hand, if I skip class or don't take my morning shower, I'm much more inclined to mess up my planned meals. Does anyone else realize this in their life?

I'm aware that eating disorders and control-related disorders (like OCD) are closely correlated, but does anyone else feel the need for consistent perfection or everything spirals out of control to hell & you have to step up twenty times harder to break it?

I've just had a horrible two weeks of binging and hating myself, and today I dragged myself to the gym, did laundry & took a bath, did my nails etc. Hoping this breaks the cycle back into consistency & stability!!

[Help] New Job... New Struggles...
/u/skinnylove73 [5'10 | 124 | 17.35 | -16 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 4 23:34:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b8j5q/new_job_new_struggles/
---
Hi all,

I recently started working at a restaurant/bar and the urge to drink and eat is so much more than it has ever been! any tips or advice???

[Rant/Rave] I don't understand...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 4 23:15:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b8gvc/i_dont_understand/
---
[removed]

[Other] First fast in forever
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 4 21:48:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b8540/first_fast_in_forever/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Breaking a binge? (support/advice please)
/u/kooraloo [5'2 | fat as fuck | F]
Created: Fri Nov 4 21:37:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b83mn/breaking_a_binge_supportadvice_please/
---
My LDR bf came to visit all of last week and I decided to consciously try to eat like I used to so he wouldn't suspect. It quickly devolved into me eating in front of him... and sneaking out for a several calorie binge. He left Saturday. And I'm currently sitting in my car bawling and nauseous because I ate $40 in McDonalds. I hate McDonalds. And I hate myself. I just fucking spent $40 on hating myself. Each bite I felt disgusting and knew I needed to stop, but couldn't bring myself. I'm up 5 pounds. Five fucking pounds in two weeks.

How do I break this binge cycle?? I feel so out of control.

On those bad binge days
/u/BeautifulApples [5'2.5" | 101.6lbs | 18.87 | -25.6 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Nov 4 20:52:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b7wzl/on_those_bad_binge_days/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/bf4ea564c92745748f52835ae68f3970?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=b4f8ff8457fb4d8c4bdfe82bdd2d995d

[Rant/Rave] Purged for the first time in two months
/u/skinnyhero [5' 4" | CW: 164.9 | 31.5% BF | -27.1 | NB/F]
Created: Fri Nov 4 20:33:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b7u6j/purged_for_the_first_time_in_two_months/
---
Sigh. I just purged a few hours ago after having not purged in a few months. I was quite proud of myself for it but I guess I just lost this time.

I sorta don't even want to tell my therapist about it. It felt so logical at the time. But now I feel kind of sick.

Does anyone else feel sick and in pain after a purge?

(On mobile app no flair)

[Rant/Rave] DAE sometimes wish they were still fat
/u/fehries [5'0|110.4lb|22.7|F]
Created: Fri Nov 4 20:19:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b7s0h/dae_sometimes_wish_they_were_still_fat/
---
I relapsed and since May I've lost like 30lbs, but now my boobs are all saggy and gross and I have excess skin on my stomach. And my waist is so wide compared to my hips. I have like a square body when I wear clothes, and stupid violin hips. I hated myself more when I was fat, but at least back then I could say I had nice proportions and tits.

[Rant/Rave] Everything sucks. I want to die.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 4 20:16:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b7rl8/everything_sucks_i_want_to_die/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Best friend problems
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 4 20:12:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b7qyf/best_friend_problems/
---
[deleted]

[Help] I'm kinda freaked out. I told her I wanted the skinny vanilla latte and the recipt doesn't say skinny?? Help
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 4 19:08:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b7guf/im_kinda_freaked_out_i_told_her_i_wanted_the/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/507e3760748e407482784107b97449aa?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=b24809b4fe8f6f2748e3adba56b89f6e

[Help] Mineral oil vs mag citrate
/u/TopCat1392 [5'3.5" | FAT | ??? | -16.2 | GW:92.6 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 4 18:54:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b7eif/mineral_oil_vs_mag_citrate/
---
Which is more effective in getting as much out the quickest? Is one better than the other in terms of toll on my body/dependency?

Don't know whether to flair as help or doscussion?

[Rant/Rave] What is wrong with me!?!
/u/eatdrinksmokegreen [5'4" | 133 lbs | 23.2 | -37 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Nov 4 18:46:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b7d91/what_is_wrong_with_me/
---
I just broke a 46 hour fast . . . With Taco Bell . . . Why do I do this kind of nonsense ? ? 3 tacos and almost 6 oz of soda . . . Purging isn't working either . . . So disappointed . . . So disappointing . . . It wasn't even hunger that caused it . . . Just straight up garbage food cravings :(:( I gave right in . . .

[Discussion] DAE struggle to sleep after restricting?
/u/diet247x [5'3 | CW: 139 | -16 lbs | GW: 90 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Nov 4 17:11:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b6wd1/dae_struggle_to_sleep_after_restricting/
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Whenever I restrict, I have a really hard time getting more than 5 hours of sleep at night. Does anyone else have this problem? I've tried taking 3g of melatonin, but I still wake up after 3 hours.

[Help] Has anyone ever tried XLS Max Strength?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [Everybody's Fool]
Created: Fri Nov 4 17:05:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b6vea/has_anyone_ever_tried_xls_max_strength/
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Apparently it blocks some digestive enzymes so you digest less sugar & other carbs, and fat, meaning these things just sit in your system until they pass through you. Fewer calories absorbed!

Apparently it also gives you diarrhoea and terrible wind. I can't say I care about these things, bring it on. I get messed up digestive issues all the time anyway. Actually, being able to poop and pass wind would be a RELIEF, hah!

The only thing putting me off is the cost, and being unsure what dosage I should take considering I am a small person. Suggested dose is 2 tablets before a meal, but considering I'm 5ft and nearing the low end of a normal BMI.. I'm wondering if I could get away with one to make the pack last longer. Either way, I could save up for some after Xmas..

I'm wondering if anyone here has tried it and what they think/thought?

[Rant/Rave] I just purged again...
/u/wavvvybaby
Created: Fri Nov 4 17:00:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b6ui0/i_just_purged_again/
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Ive been on the quest bar diet as of late. Three to four bars a day and maybe an apple.

But yesterday my family ordered pizza. So i had a slice. Then another. Then another. Then i purged.

Then today. Had my four bars. But i ate some granola from a cereal mix. So i just purged.

I just want to be skinny. I hate purging but I feel compelled to do it.

[Other] I know it's easier said than done, but I thought you all could use these beautiful words tonight. ♥️
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 4 16:58:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b6u55/i_know_its_easier_said_than_done_but_i_thought/
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http://i.imgur.com/1GUMAv2.jpg

[Help] Help me come up with a goal weight?
/u/imnevergold [5'6 | 112 | 18.15 | -15 | F |]
Created: Fri Nov 4 16:43:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b6rbq/help_me_come_up_with_a_goal_weight/
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[removed]

[Rant/Rave] Feel disgusted
/u/rizzle_riz [5'4' | CW:138.8 | 24.5 | -20 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 4 16:32:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b6p9w/feel_disgusted/
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My roommates parents are visiting for the weekend. They brought a fuck ton of food with them and ~~practically forced~~ offered a plate. Now I've gone over my calories by a lot and to makes things worse they decided to top it all off by handing me the largest piece of pie ever(WTF). Now I'm panicking because none of this was supposed to happen and I'm so tempted to purge but I can't because they are in the room next door. I hate this so much. I feel disgusting and anxious because I can't do anything to fix this mistake of a meal.

[Discussion] Tell me some of your ED quirks and oddities.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 4 16:08:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b6kkz/tell_me_some_of_your_ed_quirks_and_oddities/
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[removed]

[Help] My darlings!
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 101 | 17.00 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 4 16:04:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b6jxz/my_darlings/
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[removed]

What to expect from fasting?
/u/tenderwake
Created: Fri Nov 4 15:08:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b68o5/what_to_expect_from_fasting/
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[removed]

[Rant/Rave] [rant/rave] Reached my gw! ft. an introduction
/u/Thatza_Latza_Matza [5'3" | CW 120 | BMI: 21.4 | -20]
Created: Fri Nov 4 14:58:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b66lg/rantrave_reached_my_gw_ft_an_introduction/
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Hi all, I'm new. I mean, I'm not new. I've been lurking here for a very long time, but I've recently started participating in discussions. I figured I should introduce myself.

I've had disordered eating since I was 10 or 11. I grew up in a family of obese women who crash dieted and hated their bodies, so it came naturally to me. I used food as a method of control when I felt like I had none, but I went through recovery when I was 16 and my ed made itself more obvious. I still struggled with disordered eating, but my mom made sure I was eating properly. I totally ballooned, I went from my low of 92 to 140 in a year. I wasn't happy, but I guess that didn't really matter to my mom. I turned 18 this year, I moved out on my own for college and my former habits came back very quickly.

It's kind of gross how much I missed restricting, it was like all my senses were dulled when I was eating all the time. Now everything is sharp and clear again. I moved out in August, and in 4 months, I've dropped 20 pounds, I'm at 120 again. I still hate myself, but at least I don't feel the way I did before.

Whoo, sorry for the rambling wall of text, it just feels so great to tell someone about this! I'm super excited to be a part of you guys' community, since you're all such lovely people. Thanks for reading this

[Help] I feel like I'll always be hopeless
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 4 14:45:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b63wy/i_feel_like_ill_always_be_hopeless/
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despite my attempts to restrict (although I'm well aware I could do MUCH better than I do, which is also another thing I'll probably end up posting about--gaining enough willpower. bleh) I work out pretty consistently and strenuously. How do I avoid gaining muscle rather than losing weight? when I do eat, Its rarely empty calories because I enjoy healthy foods. So shouldn't I be losing weight rather than gaining weight, through muscle? My calves are so defined, my legs/thighs have developed muscle that I didn't have before--so much that Im noticing stretch marks going down my actual leg/above the knees, not the inners of my thighs like a normal person (what the fuck)
My stomach looks like vague abs over fat, so how do I get rid of the damn fat before gaining muscle that I don't even want? what am I doing wrong? I just want to keep losing weight and I feel so hopeless.

(Sorry if I sound ignorant or triggering?? I'm still relatively new to reddit and hope this is going to be seen in the right place)

[Discussion] Not tempted in the slightest (possible tw for food discussion)
/u/Weazin_the_Ju-uice
Created: Fri Nov 4 14:32:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b617o/not_tempted_in_the_slightest_possible_tw_for_food/
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Possible trigger warning. I'm not sure if this will bother anyone, but below is a lot of talk about food and not wanting it.

I have been feeling alone about this since the influx of halloween candy posts. I don't mind those posts at all, but with so many of them it makes me feel really alone in my lack of temptation.

It's not like I don't have all this junk around me either. I cook 4-5 full "regular people" meals a day for different people. Every day. My kitchen is filled with snacks, carbs, desert, and every other food imaginable. I have 3 buckets of halloween candy in my house that I see and touch every day. I literally dig through the candy to choose my kids/SO's favorites to pack in their lunches.

I can barely make myself eat my preferred foods. I am post-"recovery" so maybe the forced feeding has made me feel even less desire for food. I am not being watched anymore so my intake has dropped of very steeply.

This morning I argued with myself for an hour because I felt like skipping breakfast, but in the end I skipped it anyway. Right now I am trying to lose weight, but my goal is to do that while making it to 800 calories per day. Most days I don't come anywhere close to that.

I don't understand it. I don't hate food at all. I really enjoy it. But I almost never feel tempted by food around me. The only thing that I crave occasionally is carbs, but I can satisfy that with a 80 cal piece of toast and 95 cal of peanut butter...instead of a whole pizza?

Does anyone else feel like it's not a huge temptation to be surrounded by piles of candy? Does anyone else fast and restrict around 100-500 regularly without binges? Or maybe with only very very few binges?

side note: I sincerely apologize to anyone who suffers with BED or anything else who may have been upset by this post.

[Goal] Help me come up with a gw?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 4 14:04:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b5vam/help_me_come_up_with_a_gw/
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[removed]

[Help] Therapy help
/u/isurvivedthetruck
Created: Fri Nov 4 13:59:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b5u2f/therapy_help/
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Hello lovlies! I started therapy again last month and had two start up sessions and didn't mention my ed, because I'm not at a place where I am ready to recover. I think I want to get a little better, and I think having a safe place to talk about it and try to understand it better would be nice, but I am terrified she's going to send me to in-patient or something. I was wondering if she can force me to go or if it's something I can comfortably bring up. Thanks in advance!

[Discussion] Suggestions for a high fiber cereal?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 4 13:23:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b5mfk/suggestions_for_a_high_fiber_cereal/
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[deleted]

[Help] In Ireland for a few weeks. Can any UK/Ireland users recommend things to buy at the grocery?
/u/lyxil [5' 0"| 93 lb | 19.13 | -47 | f]
Created: Fri Nov 4 13:16:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b5kvw/in_ireland_for_a_few_weeks_can_any_ukireland/
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Are there any low-calorie foods anyone can recommend for me here? I'm open to trying new things! Thank you <3

^Missing ^my ^Halo ^Top ^and ^Fiber ^One ^cereal ^:(

[Goal] Can't edit my flair right now but I got to a NEW LOW today!! :D
/u/zoeglowey [5'2" | 104 | BMI 19 | - 23 | Female]
Created: Fri Nov 4 13:15:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b5kqs/cant_edit_my_flair_right_now_but_i_got_to_a_new/
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Stepped on the scale after getting home (and I've actually been eating semi-normally this week), and WITH clothes, I was 104.0!! I was so excited and surprised. I'm happy to be losing weight without fasting :)

[Rant/Rave] I was reading my old journal and...
/u/kafka__dreams
Created: Fri Nov 4 13:12:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b5jyk/i_was_reading_my_old_journal_and/
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Last year on October 16th I was 120, on the 23rd I was 114.8, then on November 13th I was 112.4, then down to 110 on the 17th. Thats 10lbs in a month which doesn't sound like a big deal, but I cant lose like that anymore. It did inspire me though because I feel like if I did it before, I can do it again. Heres to trying for 115 by the 11th!

[Discussion] Does anyone else get Charlie horses/muscle spasms when restricting?
/u/iPood_ [5'0" | 101 | 19.7 | -50 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 4 12:24:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b59aw/does_anyone_else_get_charlie_horsesmuscle_spasms/
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I've been restricting pretty hardcore the past few weeks and noticed I keep getting a lot of Charlie horses in my feet and calves. I'm drinking 2-3L of water a day and pretty much always under 500 cals. Is this a coincidence or has anyone else had this? I'm not exactly concerned but they are kinda annoying.

[Goal] Bad news: I'm depressed again. Good news: That means I can lose some fucking weight
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Fri Nov 4 11:27:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b4wtq/bad_news_im_depressed_again_good_news_that_means/
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It's just so much easier to fast and restrict when I hate myself.
God I hate this fucking S.A.D., it's like clockwork.

Was feeling good in this outfit, but I look a wee bit like a bobble head doll.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 4 11:23:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b4w0f/was_feeling_good_in_this_outfit_but_i_look_a_wee/
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http://imgur.com/rVG4pni

[Rant/Rave] Triggered
/u/Alexa1p [5'5'' | 110 | 18 | -10.7 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 4 11:05:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b4s03/triggered/
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This quarter I've been trying my hardest to give my attention to school, not food or restricting. I've been ignoring the times I feel fat, because I convinced myself that getting good grades was more important than being a little chubby. A couple of days ago my boyfriend broke up with me, and I stopped eating for a couple of days. We ended up getting back together, and today I was determined to get back on track with school and ignoring my disordered eating tendencies.

UNTIL I GO TO PHYSICS CLASS. We were discussing energy, and my professor decides to make the class lecture about calories. He asks us how many calories we think are in a slice of chocolate cake (this extremely thin girl ventured 1000, which makes me suspect she might have an ed), talked about starvation mode (in a scientific way, not in the fat-logic sense), and all I could think about was calories and food and weight gain. I haven't eaten yet today and instead of doing homework, I'm browsing this sub, and looking at pictures of thin girls, and feeling tempted to eat even though I'm not hungry.

If I put as much time and obsession into math and physics as I do into counting calories and thinking about food/restricting, I swear I'd be a genius.

[Goal] Another year older, another year....definitely not wiser. And short term goal.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | 142.6 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 4 11:01:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b4r0j/another_year_older_another_yeardefinitely_not/
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It was my birthday yesterday. I'm old now. Practically dead. I mean, 24 is knocking on death's door.

I told no one about my birthday. Just fine. Managed to fast all day and then b/p on prosciutto. Side note, throwing up anything that salting is like throwing up sea water and it's so bad. Oh my Zeus, horrible. Technically though, I purged before my birthday hour. So it's fine.

Other than that, I've been good these 4 days of November thus far. Go me. And now I'm possibly going home for Christmas in 5 or 6 weeks. I need to be in the 130s by then. Holy shit. But I love working towards short-term goals.

A month and a half is 10 pounds easy, right? And I'll only be home for 8 days or so. Won't do too much damage since we don't do big dinners or anything.

Anyway, just wanted to check in. I don't know why. I have to go cook a beautiful dinner for my host family and their exchange student in about 20 minutes. Going to skip eating and say I'm going out later with friends to celebrate....something.

Good news: If I see my family during Christmas, I most likely won't see them again until summer and that's plenty of time. They won't freak over weight-loss during Christmas since I'll be covered up and not there long enough to trigger suspicion.

More good news: I have a doctor appointment on Monday to try to get Wellbutrin again! Wish me luck!

[Rant/Rave] Can my body just make up its damn mind??
/u/pcrnography [5'6" | -77 lbs | nb]
Created: Fri Nov 4 10:51:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b4oq1/can_my_body_just_make_up_its_damn_mind/
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Last night I had my first binge since September 22, I logged 2200 calories but I was guessing it was more likely 2500 calories. I couldn't sleep because all I could feel was how full I am, it was making me sick. I didn't purge (woot woot) but I stayed up until like 4 in the morning having an anxiety attack, I self harmed for the first time in a long time, in all I had a Very Bad Night.

Woke up this morning and after some debate I decided I was going to weigh myself (I am a glutton for punishment) and guess what?

I FUCKING LOST TWO POUNDS. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. I eat 700 calories a day and loose nothing but the second I eat 10000000 I lose weight immediately. I can't even be happy because I'm so annoyed.

Edit: I was even planning to fast and go on a much longer run than I usually would. Now I'm thinking I continue on with 700 calories as usually but like... What the fuck

[Rant/Rave] I finally got my scale back after months of binging with no will to change.
/u/dec4y [5'3|cw:139.8|gw:95|-25lbs|F]
Created: Fri Nov 4 10:49:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b4oct/i_finally_got_my_scale_back_after_months_of/
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Hi guys I'm back!!!
Long story short, my dad took my scale away right around the time I started school in august and I started eating a FUCK TON and was too ashamed to come back here... I had no motivation to eat better and with so much free junk food and stress around me I started binging pretty much daily. I hated what I was becoming and just in time for a BUCKETLOAD OF INSANE LEGAL STRESS my dad gave me my scale back. So here I am. Hopefully I'm going to start feeling a little better now.
As my flair says I left at 148lbs but I distinctly remember being at about 143 at one point... who knows. Point is, I stepped on the scale and I didn't gain as much as I thought!!! I went to the doctor last month and the scale said 153.3 (after I swore I'd never hit 150 again). Of course it was fully clothed after eating lunch but still. At this point in time I'm 145.6 somehow, so I can even move my flair down!!!
Honestly i feel way more relieved than is healthy for something like this... but gaining 3-4 pounds after literally months of binging at least 2 or 3 times a week is amazing to me.
Anyway yeah sorry for the long post haha.

Tl;dr: it's good to be back!

[Rant/Rave] [rant/rave] frustration
/u/sassafraskitten
Created: Fri Nov 4 10:45:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b4niu/rantrave_frustration/
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(I'll just add my stats here since I'm on mobile)
5'6", 132lbs

I binged last night and I was going to purge but my girlfriend figured that was what I was going to do. Soooo I didn't get to get rid of it. I took a few laxatives to compensate and my weight wasn't up this morning, so maybe I'm okay, but I'm fasting as long as I can get away with it.

[Discussion] Changed my goal. Again. [discussion]
/u/disbeetch [5'3'' | 140 | 23.7 | -34 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 4 10:38:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b4lyi/changed_my_goal_again_discussion/
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Does anyone else do this? My new goal isn't weight related for once (although who am I kidding, yes it is). I want to be thin enough to fit into those damn brandy melville jeans

[Rant/Rave] Personal rant
/u/ahh_idk [5'4'' | will update | F]
Created: Fri Nov 4 10:35:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b4lbz/personal_rant/
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I fucking hate my ED. I hate waking up every single day and only caring about the number on the scale. The rational part of my brain knows weight can fluctuate for a number of reasons. My ED tells me I'm a fucking failure and I should never eat ever again. I feel like I'm never going to make progress and I'm just gonna look like shit and hate myself until I take it to the grave. After 5 years of mental gymnastics with an ED I wish for nothing more than to be able to turn it off and be a normal fucking person for even a day. Anybody who thinks having an ED is a lifestyle choice clearly have no idea what we go through every single day

[Rant/Rave] No more guessing how much weight I've lost! I figured out how much water weight I carry :)
/u/CowOffTheFarm [65" | 145 | 24.41 | - | F | GW 120]
Created: Fri Nov 4 10:27:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b4jnh/no_more_guessing_how_much_weight_ive_lost_i/
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It's almost exactly three pounds. I weighed myself in the morning- 148. Later after a night of drinking, 147. Woke up dehydrated from the drinking 143. I feel like I can never trust the scale, but now I know the buffer zone is 3 pounds. It;s like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. Now all my goal weights will be in 5 pound increments. I can trust that 5 pounds is more than just water, weight, but actually fat loss.

I'M SO HAPPY NOW! So relived and freeing to not drive myself crazy over the scale but still trust it as a success-o-meter.


[Help] I know this question has been beat to death but how do you guys deal with a new relationship and disordered eating?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'4 |113lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 4 10:20:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b4i2s/i_know_this_question_has_been_beat_to_death_but/
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We are starting to spend a lot of time together. So I'll go full days without eating a single bite, and yeah, he thinks it's fucking weird.


Last time we hung out I finally ate some pizza and wings he bought to shut him up, but then next time we hang it's going to be the same thing. is there anything I can do or say to make myself seem a little more normal. He is already suspicious.

[Rant/Rave] Anytime I'm doing okay it just gets fucked up again [Rant/Rave]
/u/thefreckledfox_ [5'8" | 181.8bs | 27.34 | -37.2lbs | F | GW: dainty]
Created: Fri Nov 4 10:14:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b4gtz/anytime_im_doing_okay_it_just_gets_fucked_up/
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(Sorry for the wall of text, I'm just so upset and angry with myself)

For weeks I've been stuck in this awful restrict/binge cycle where I manage to restrict all day while I'm at work and then I undo all of my progress every night trying to "eat normally" (whatever) around my boyfriend.

Yesterday started off so amazing. I kept my calories under 200 all day, went for a run after work, and ate a small portion of dinner for about 500 calories. So good. I logged everything, my calories were mostly protein, I just knew that I was going to see a loss this morning. And then our friend came over and before I knew it we were smoking and eating ice cream and leftover Halloween candy like the fucking monster that I am.

Even today started off okay because seeing a gain on the scale always helps me stay in control that day, but for some reason my stupid brain saw bagels at work and decided to eat a whole Panera bagel *with cream cheese.* God damn it. God damn me. Diet coke, broth, and lettuce for the rest of the day.

I've just been this anxious mess of neuroses and it's like 50% of the time my fucked up ana brain thinks that not eating will help me feel better, and 50% of the time my fucked up BED brain thinks that eating a whole day's worth of calories in one sitting will make me feel better. And of course, nothing does. I'm still a whale, I'm still ugly, and my life is still a mess. I'm so useless that *I can't even not eat properly.*

And I love my bf and he's the only good thing in my life but in the last month we've gone from sex every day to sex maybe once a week which in my head can only mean that he is repulsed by my and is going to dump me soon, which only keep the Anxiety Wheel a-turning.

[Goal] Anyone want to join me in a binge free week? Day 5
/u/goodvibeswanted2
Created: Fri Nov 4 09:51:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b4bs2/anyone_want_to_join_me_in_a_binge_free_week_day_5/
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Post your progress below. Let's share our successes and setbacks and support each other.

My husband ordered these for me yesterday from DollsKill . ✨💕
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 4 09:50:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b4bqy/my_husband_ordered_these_for_me_yesterday_from/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/32503766252745fe89e60455550b0b91?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=5759e4ae13e6199cf0c3d87cf20fd7f4

[Discussion] [Discussion] HAE noticed themselves becoming less picky?
/u/mace__face [5'6 | CW:112 | BMI:18.08 | GW:108 | F -16lbs]
Created: Fri Nov 4 09:45:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b4anj/discussion_hae_noticed_themselves_becoming_less/
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So I've always been a picky eater- had issues with certain flavors and especially certain textures. Now I've noticed since I've been restricting consistently over the past year that I like certain foods that I never used to. I know our tastebuds change and we do grow out of some picky habits but this seems different. Like I was the quintessential kid who hated veggies, but now I eat them so much more and not just bc they're safe, but bc I like them....idk maybe it's normal. Just wanted to see if anyone else felt like this.

Apologies: formatting.

[Discussion] Discussion Lowkey freaking out/ feeling guilty and scared
/u/Gabi_Cat [5'5" | CW:125 | BMI: 20.7 | -75 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Nov 4 09:35:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b48kr/discussion_lowkey_freaking_out_feeling_guilty_and/
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Hello everyone, I'm so thankful everyone is here to turn to because something really scary happened to me last night and I am still shook up.

To set the scene: I was watching 'Dying to be Thin' on Youtube and looking at thinspo on my phone when I suddenly got SUPER dizzy. I'm not talking 'getting-up-too-fast' dizzy I mean like earthquake in my brain, spinning and losing vision... Like most of us here I enjoy the lightheadedness of not eating or the starry-eyed vision that can come with dieting but I have never experienced anything like this.

I ended up passing out 3-5 times consecutively and falling/ hitting my head multiple times before I was able to bring my legs up to get the blood back to my brain. I was in a full body cold sweat and my body was pale as a green ghost.

I even ate yesterday! 1000 cals like normal, but I did exercise in between meals and I guess I didn't realize I had virtually no carbs/sugar (but I mean I used to fast for days so????) so my blood sugar got to 74 and I passed out. I'm not diabetic but my mom is and she ended up taking my sugar to see if that's why I passed out (it was) and forced me to drink two glasses of sweet tea and eat bread.

WHY I'M FREAKING: I'm worried about exercising/restricting because this has never happened to me and I was terrified. I legit hit my head and now our sink is broken because I tried to grab onto it as I was passing out. I didn't want to involve my mother but I didn't know how to make it stop and now she's going to be on my ass too. Can I get some encouraging words to re-motivate myself or does it seem like this will happen again (does anyone know how to avoid this/experienced this)??

[Discussion] DAE feel this way?
/u/tattoosandcoffeee [5'4 | GW 108 | -12]
Created: Fri Nov 4 09:25:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b46cp/dae_feel_this_way/
---
I feel like I'm better at restricting and actually making progress when every aspect of my life is "in order" and I have nothing else to worry about. If anything is out of whack or my anxiety allows me to obsess over some other issue going on in my life..I fall off track and Its harder for me to be strong and not cave in and say F it. I've read a lot about people feeling this is "control" for them..And I feel that way to an extent, but I can only feel in control if I'm in control of every other part of my life first (work, relationship, finances..etc) I also have really bad ADHD and anxiety so the combo could be the reason for that. Im just a space head.

[Other] send me best wishes guys.... i need some good vibes rn
/u/citrus_cunt [5' 9"| 142lbs | 19.5| +5lbs | F]
Created: Fri Nov 4 09:23:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b45za/send_me_best_wishes_guys_i_need_some_good_vibes_rn/
---
i lost my phone yesterday and can't find it, theres a chance its at the polling place....ughhh this is what i get for protecting my constitutional rights....

plus i just paid off a traffic ticket and now i have like.... almost no money to pay off my monthly loan aaaaugh

who knows anything about donating plasma? like, how do i gt a physical to give them and will they turn me away? (my bmi is back to normal anyway) idk i just could use some love and good vibes from my fave community ti cheer me up rn <3 <3 <3

[Rant/Rave] I know this is irrational but...
/u/Alexa1p [5'5'' | 110 | 18 | -10.7 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 4 09:13:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b43pg/i_know_this_is_irrational_but/
---
Tuesday and Wednesday I didn't eat more than 400 calories. I weighed in at 109.5. Yesterday I ate maybe 1800 calories. Not that bad, I probably gained a very small fraction of a pound that I realize isn't a big deal. And yet I feel so much heavier and fat today. Ugh.

[Rant/Rave] "I was going anorexic haha"
/u/SkinnyWaifu [5'3 | fat | WL: -17.2 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 4 08:57:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b40dw/i_was_going_anorexic_haha/
---
I know almost for a fact everyone here has heard the whole "I'll lose weight by going anorexic" and I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling infuriated by that phrase. On that note-
I have a roommate that is my same height (5"3) and weighs around 230lbs from what she's told me. She's about 90 lbs higher than I am. The thing is, she is the type of person who always has to "one up" me. I sort of kind of hinted about not eating much one day and she instantly started going off about how she's going to start eating jello and oatmeal alone, daily.
That by itself was annoying and triggering. I noticed for the next two days, she was indeed just eating jello and oatmeal. Until later that night when she thought I was sleeping, she seemed to have eaten an entire little caesars pizza , then looked up at me and just said "Ha ha, I was going anorexic, dude. I love food too much".
I don't know if this is going to be perceived as offensive or not. But it bothered the living shit out of me and I have nowhere else to rant.

[Rant/Rave] MAD AF
/u/teasnob22 [5'3" | CW: 95.7 | GW: 88 | 17.43 | -22 | F | Vegan AF]
Created: Fri Nov 4 08:56:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b40be/mad_af/
---
I went out tonight for the first time in like 60 years and holy shit every time I hiccup, ACID REFLUX. like yeah, I'm bulimic, but I s2g my body won't let me forget it for a second.

Jesus Christ at least let me enjoy a night out ED, at least give me that.

Please God

[Rant/Rave] my roommates are killing me with their dinners
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 4 08:53:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b3zoq/my_roommates_are_killing_me_with_their_dinners/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] My stupid body clinging to water weight. Also what do you guys do for energy when fasting?
/u/setniessesed [5'11.5" | CW: 141 GW: 130 | 18.71 | -18lbs | 20/F]
Created: Fri Nov 4 07:00:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b3ei0/my_stupid_body_clinging_to_water_weight_also_what/
---
[removed]

[Goal] Today is day 4 no binging... I'm happy, relieved, and terrified
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 4 06:32:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b39ve/today_is_day_4_no_binging_im_happy_relieved_and/
---
[deleted]

[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! November 04, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Nov 4 06:12:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b36lb/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for November 04, 2016.

Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, inspiration behind your OOTD (trying to look thin or cover up weightloss, etc.)!

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

*****

Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 04, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Nov 4 06:11:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b36ku/daily_food_diary_november_04_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 04, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


My childhood friend is looking really good nowadays.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 4 06:05:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b35l6/my_childhood_friend_is_looking_really_good/
---
http://i.imgur.com/7qzfpf4.png

[Discussion] Losing With Out Calorie Counting
/u/WeighingDown [5'2" | 108 | 20.46 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 4 06:03:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b357s/losing_with_out_calorie_counting/
---
I have been counting calories since my ED started. I am wondering if anyone has had success losing with out counting calories. It is pretty stressful to always keep track and I feel like I end up just eating up to a limit instead of just eating as little as possible. My concern is that I won't have enough control and will end up eating more than my daily allowance for calories.


I have had a lot of success counting calories and I'm really good at it and usually eat 800 a day but I'm worried if I stop counting I'll eat too much.


What is your experince? Any tips or advice? Thanks!


**On mobile, sorry for lack of flair!**

[Rant/Rave] Will someone please reassure me that I won't go on a year long binge again?
/u/Ire_of_suburbia [5'4" | 85lbs | 14,6 | -53 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 4 05:17:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b2z08/will_someone_please_reassure_me_that_i_wont_go_on/
---
On mobile, can't flair as usual. This should be a rant/rave post though.
As some of you might know, I've been trying to maintain and failing miserably. To be fair, I've slowed down my loss significantly. Anyway, I've reached a point where I'm starting to feel kinda shitty, parents are threatening to hospitalize me and my BMI is getting dangerously close to the point where hospitals will admit me against my will. The rational part of my brain just wants to gain a few lbs and get to BMI 16-ish so I can get people off my back and avoid going from "feeling kinda shitty" to not functioning anymore.
MAN, THIS IS THE MOST STRESSFUL THING EVER. I just can't shake the fear that I won't be able to stop gaining. Like, not in a fatlogicky "omg what if my metabolism is broken and CICO suddenly stops existing" kinda way, I'm just scared that I'll lose control and I won't be able to go back to eating at my TDEE or below once I'm at my goal.
This fear is also fueled by my past attempt at "recovering" from summer 2014. I keep telling myself it's gonna be different this time. I'm in a whole different situation and mindset, I'm not as gullible as I used to be (I mean, I probably wouldn't have started binging at all if it wasn't for that bullshit Youreatopia website...), I have more experience, I'm SO MUCH more meticulous with my tracking, I know so much more about the sciencey-side of things and how to use that in my favor, I have my trusty TDEE spreadsheet, I eat in a different way that makes it way harder to accidentally overeat (nothing can stop an actual binge, though :/ ), my activity level is way higher which makes my TDEE insanely high and gives me a bigger budget... I could go on and on with all the reasons why I rationally know that I can control this. But none of it is enough to shut up the other side of my brain that's just freaking the fuck out because I'm terrified of [this](http://imgur.com/R4mhaVy) happening again.

Tl;dr: I'm freaking the fuck out about binges that haven't happened yet and I need help convincing myself that I won't lose control and make them happpen.

[Discussion] Hoarding
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 4 04:29:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b2t4p/hoarding/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] DAE feel like their ED has ruined their social life
/u/frozensun202
Created: Fri Nov 4 03:39:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b2ndw/dae_feel_like_their_ed_has_ruined_their_social/
---
I always cancel my plans because I feel too big and tight in my clothes and can only go out if I have been fasting for two day beforehand and feel smaller, more comfortable in my clothes. Anyone else like this?

[Rant/Rave] Boredom bingeing
/u/FeedMeDreams [5'5" | 64.2kg | 23.6 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 4 02:35:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b2gzz/boredom_bingeing/
---
So this is my 6th day in a row of not purging, and I've been doing kinda well with not bingeing - I haven't had the kind of binge where you *have* to purge afterwards. It's actually been ok while I've been working; usually I struggle in the evenings, because I have nothing to do, but taking the long way home and going to bed early mean that I only have a few hours to kill each evening. But now it's Friday night, and I'm indescribably bored... I don't want to do anything. None of my friends are free, and if they were, I wouldn't want to see them, because it's too much effort. I don't have any hobbies because nothing is interesting. I don't want to watch tv or play a video game. I don't want to do any of the things I could do, or should do. There's nothing that I *have* to do, so I'm not doing anything. Normally I'd be bingeing right now, since it passes the time. But not tonight. I don't want to end up in my thirties or forties and still be bulimic. Five years is long enough. Tomorrow is going to be worse. I thought I could do this, but now I'm not sure.

Edit: had a cigarette and an apple, went for a long walk, now going to bed. Guess I'll deal with tomorrow when it happens.

[Help] My brain has been launching a mental assault all day and I don't know how much more I can take.
/u/isolatedintrovert [155cm | CW: 44kg | GW: 41 | UGW: 38 | 19.12 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 4 02:33:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b2gsh/my_brain_has_been_launching_a_mental_assault_all/
---
You don't have to read this. In fact, content warning for sexual assault, self-harm, and binge eating.

I just need to get this out and I don't know where else to turn. The people here are always so kind and supportive of everyone, I guess it just felt like a good place to turn. Mods, if this isn't the place to post this, I'll promptly delete it.

My brain decided to torture me today. First it made me dream that my rapist found out where I was living now because I was featured on TV due to an interview I did for my job (the interview/TV spot actually will air this month) and he approached me. I had a breakdown, but my husband got mad at me because I couldn't bring myself to have sex with him after that.

So, for the past 12 hours (it's now about 5:30 in the evening where I live) my brain has been zapping me with painful reminders of that dream and my past trauma/abusers. Somehow I managed to conduct myself at work as though my brain wasn't violently attacking me at every turn, but now that I'm home I'm on the verge of a breakdown akin to the one I had in my dream...

and for the first time in my life my brain/body want me to emotionally eat. (Usually when I'm emotionally spent/depressed/etc I can't eat at all.) I can tell if I give in and eat one thing, I'll eat another, and then another. I want to drown my sorrows in alcohol. I think I would legitimately not stop eating. I've always fallen more towards the anorexic/bulimic side of the spectrum, never binge eating...

I know if I give in (I'm so, so very tempted to give in) that I'll hate myself tomorrow. But I feel like it's either this, or harm myself (I used to self-harm more directly in the past). Though if I give in and binge eat for the first time, I may hurt myself tomorrow anyway.

I'm just so overwhelmed with negative emotions that I don't know what to do right now. I tried exercising. Tried distraction. Tried hugs. I'm completely at a loss and I feel like I'm spiraling out of control. I haven't even taken my first bite. If I feel out of control now, what would happen then?

I'm sorry. I know I'm rambling at this point... I guess I came here requesting any advice on resisting a binge?

If you read all of this, thank you.

**TL;DR** I think I'm on the verge of bingeing for the first time ever due to an emotionally tumultuous day. Does anyone have any advice to help me not do that thing?

[Rant/Rave] Return of the Jedi B/P Cycle
/u/carolineeo [5'7" | 101.8 | 16 | 22F]
Created: Fri Nov 4 01:35:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b2axt/return_of_the_jedi_bp_cycle/
---
Ugh I'd been doing so good lately. I keep seeing the binge free commitment posts on here and I want to join but I honestly don't think I have the willpower to foresee a week in advance that something won't trigger it. I went home today on my lunch break & made it relatively healthy version of comfort food, handful gf pasta w peas arugula & cheese, but I figured it was OK since I'd barely eaten in 2 days. made a snack of toast & jam for my way back to work... then got back to the office, started eating all the leftover twix, & went to our other building... where there was a box of donuts & a platter of sugar cookies. knew right then I was gonna fuck it all up. stuffed my face with donuts, chugged water, and off to the bathroom to undo all the damage. kill me.


[Rant/Rave] I hate "healthy" food
/u/kinaadman [5'1" | SW 210 | CW 110 | GW: 90 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 3 23:34:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b1wzu/i_hate_healthy_food/
---
so today i thought it was safe to eat about 100g of "vegetable chips" which said it was shaved cassava mixed with sweet potato tops and spinach and shit like that and i was like cool this sounds like a good meal

then when i looked it up it looks like i may have eaten 500 calories

i panicked got vertigo and purged and i don't plan to eat anything else for the rest of the day and i'm going to go attend muay thai class

fuck "healthy" food. don't eat anything without being certain of the caloric content (i.e., when you don't see a nutritional value table)

ugh

[Help] Sharp pains?
/u/Cockroach-Boy
Created: Thu Nov 3 23:14:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b1ue7/sharp_pains/
---
Hello all, this is my first time posting here. I can't flair because Im on mobile


Essentially I'm curious if anyone else ever experiences sharp stomach pains after/during a purge? I'm unfortunately stuck in a bit of a binge/purge loop, and occasionally it'll feel like there's a razor blade in my stomach. It doesn't usually last long, just the initial stabbing pain and then a slight throbbing for a minute or so until it's gone. It's started coming when I don't purge as well, but not nearly as often.

I can't tell if it's worth going to the doctor for (I don't even know what to say. My stomach hurts when I puke? Not really unusual) And if I open up about my eating habits to others I get judged too harshly making it worse. Any ideas what's causing it and how to make it go away?

My stomach after fasting yesterday 117 lbs
/u/frailraven [5'10 | CW 117 | LW 115 | F20]
Created: Thu Nov 3 22:42:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b1q2a/my_stomach_after_fasting_yesterday_117_lbs/
---
http://i.imgur.com/EG2N9sa.jpg

[Intro] Intentionally Relapsing
/u/kdkorz10211
Created: Thu Nov 3 22:32:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b1oph/intentionally_relapsing/
---
I'm on mobile, but I would flair this as an Intro.

I first started restricting my sophomore year of high school. I was already my current height, 5'5", and 120-something lb. The sad thing is that if I'd never restricted, I wouldn't have fucked up my metabolism, and I probably wouldn't weight nearly as much as I do now. But I'm getting ahead of myself. I restricted on and off throughout high school, but never lost too much weight as I was living with my parents and my mom paid a bit of attention to whether I ate dinner. At the end of high school I was eating somewhat normally and weighed around 140.

Then I left for UCSC. I started restricting again on my very first day away from home. Eventually I was eating one apple a week day and nothing but water on weekends, taking ephedra pills, drinking laxative tea, constantly wearing five lb weights on each ankle and one lb weights on each wrist, and compulsively doing jumping jacks. I got down to 109.

My mental health was total shit in multiple ways, and I ended up dropping out and doing intensive therapy. I started eating again and steadily gaining weight. This past year in particular the weight gain has been significant and I got up to 207 lb. I felt fucking awful, as I never wanted to be over 200 lb.

About a month ago I started restricting again. I know fully well that I'm diving head first back into ED territory, but I don't want to stop. I just want to lose weight. I'm at 194 lb now. My goal is 140, but I know I'll want to keep going once I get there. I'm smart and I know how stupid it is for me to do this, but I just don't care. Losing weight makes me feel accomplished. It's so nice to see progress on something over time.

I've always kind of known I would relapse eventually. My lowest weight was barely underweight and that always really bothered me – like I wasn't a "good" anorexic. I don't think I'll ever be able to leave it alone until I've gotten firmly into that "significantly low" weight range. So some part of me is even pretending this is good for me, like it'll get it out of my system or something, though I know that's not how it works.

Anyways, it's been really hard seeing my body like this. I literally could not perceive a difference between my body at 140 lb and my body at 109 lb, but I can definitely see the difference between 140 lb and my current weight.

It sucks, because I'm really into social justice generally, including fat acceptance, but while I'm all for other people of all sizes loving themselves, I can't stand my own fat. I feel like such a hypocrite.

[Rant/Rave] I binged today and I am fucking done.
/u/mmm_erythritol
Created: Thu Nov 3 22:09:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b1lbg/i_binged_today_and_i_am_fucking_done/
---
This is it.

I want to say in front of all of you–especially those who have inspired and supported me–that I quit.

I've said it before but none of those times matter now. Those were practice, or I wasn't totally committed, or I didn't have a clear enough plan in place. Whatever it is... I will not look at the past anymore and tell myself I can't do it just because I haven't succeeded yet.
I live in the present–in this moment, and every future moment, I am not bingeing.

So here is my little manifesto I've written in my phone as part of my new detailed food guidelines to make bingeing impossible:

>I will not eat because I am tired.
>I will not eat because I am sad.
>I will not eat because I am stressed.
>I will not eat just because others expect it.
>I will not eat just because something looks or sounds good–food will always be there.
>My goals will dictate how I eat, not my impulses.

>Not following these rules feeds the inner fat kid, and the inner fat kid MUST STARVE.

(I call my urge to binge my inner fat kid. It is a loathsome and bratty little creature and it's in time out.)

I'm not really sure what I'm trying to accomplish with this post.. I just felt the need to get it out there.

I am just. So. Sick. Of living like this.

[Goal] Beat my longest jogging time
/u/jiuel1 [5'4"(barely yay) | 122.6 | 20.9 | -12 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Nov 3 21:54:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b1itp/beat_my_longest_jogging_time/
---
All that because I felt bad about what I ate that day. I entered 40 minutes on MFP to see how many calories I'd lose doing that so I settled for it.

When I got home I immediatly put my running shoes on and headed out. After about 20 minutes I told myself that adding 10 more minutes after the 40 minute timer would make it 50 but I still thought "meh as if".

Time passes and cue the 40 minute alarm. I pressed start again to make it 50 so I beat my longest running streak of 40! Plus I apparently burned 242 calories doing so, I felt very proud of myself.

Still felt like I overate though but oh well.:/

(Sorry, self boosting because I had no one to tell it to.)

(Also can't flair atm, on mobile.)

[Rant/Rave] Meal Prep/Calorie Deficit Makes Me Want to Binge
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 3 21:34:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b1ftl/meal_prepcalorie_deficit_makes_me_want_to_binge/
---
[deleted]

[Other] I feel wrong?
/u/thirdocean
Created: Thu Nov 3 20:35:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b169h/i_feel_wrong/
---
I used to binge (kinda) and purge. Then I stopped purging because I was around friends so much and I don't want to be caught. After 3 days of eating out, alcohol, and pop I gained 9 pounds. I know it can't all be fat. After a day I was back down 3 pounds. But I can't eat. I don't want to. Anytime I've eaten I've purged. I've had less than 1,000 calories in the last 48 hours and purged every time. I stopped biting my nails. I don't crave the Halloween candy in my apartment. I'm confused and happy. I want to just not eat for a month and be closer to skinny

[Intro] introduction & a fave poem (not mine)
/u/three_two_bone [5'3" | hw: 139 | cw: 114 | gw: 95 | 19F]
Created: Thu Nov 3 20:08:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b11ib/introduction_a_fave_poem_not_mine/
---
hi guys. I've stalked for a while but it's time I joined for real. you all seem very sweet and kind towards each other, which is so important when we all have that little voice inside that is just the opposite towards ourselves. anyway, I'll probably be posting a little from now on, I kinda know how it goes but feel free to share what you enjoy posting here, I'd love to hear it :)

I thought I'd include one of my favorite poems by Carl Ann Duffy, a British poet. I wouldn't be surprised if it had been shared here before, but here it is. I think it embodies both our ultimate dream and our worst fear in one.


**The Diet**

The diet worked like a dream. No sugar,
salt, dairy, fat, protein, starch or alcohol.
By the end of week one, she was half a stone
shy of ten and shrinking, skipping breakfast,
lunch, dinner, thinner; a fortnight in, she was
eight stone; by the end of the month, she was skin
and bone.

She starved on, stayed in, stared in
the mirror, svelter, slimmer. The last apple
aged in the fruit bowl, untouched. The skimmed milk
soured in the fridge, unsupped. Her skeleton preened
under its tight flesh dress. She was all eyes,
all cheekbones, had guns for hips. Not a stitch
in the wardrobe fitted.

What passed her lips? Air,
water. She was Anorexia's true daughter, a slip
of a girl, a shadow, dwindling away. One day,
the width of a stick, she started to grow smaller - ~
child-sized, doll-sized, the height of a thimble.
She sat at her open window and the wind
blew her away.

Seed small, she was out and about,
looking for home. An empty beer bottle rolled
in the gutter. She crawled in, got drunk on the dregs,
started to sing, down, out, nobody's love. Tiny others
joined in. They raved all night. She woke alone,
head splitting, mouth dry, hungry and cold, and made
for the light.

She found she could fly on the wind,
could breathe, if it rained, underwater. That night,
she went to a hotel bar that she knew and floated into
the barman's eye. She slept for hours, left at dawn
in a blink, in a wink, drifted away on a breeze.
Minute, she could suit herself from here on in, go
where she pleased.

She stayed near people,
lay in the tent of a nostril like a germ, dwelled
in the caves of an ear. She lived in a tear, swam
clear, moved south to a mouth, kipped in the chap
of a lip. She loved flesh and blood, wallowed
in mud under fingernails, dossed in a fold of fat
on a waist.

But when she squatted the tip of a tongue,
she was gulped, swallowed, sent down the hatch
in a river of wine, bottoms up, cheers, fetched up
in a stomach just before lunch. She crouched
in the lining, hearing the avalanche munch of food,
then it was carrots, peas, courgettes, potatoes,
gravy and meat.

Then it was sweet. Then it was stilton,
roquefort, weisslacker-kase, gex; it was smoked salmon
with scrambled eggs, hot boiled ham, plum flan, frogs'
legs. She knew where she was all right, clambered
onto the greasy breast of a goose, opened wide, then
chomped and chewed and gorged; inside the Fat Woman now,
trying to get out.

[edit: i cannot format]




[Rant/Rave] Purging
/u/xcris19x [5'3 | FATFATFAT | Fat | F | -13lbs | UGW: 90/95 |]
Created: Thu Nov 3 20:05:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b114d/purging/
---
I'm not sure what's wrong with me. I've never been a b/p person, but just now I made soup and I didn't want to throw it out (even though I didn't want to eat it) because wasting food (irony) - so I made the soup and I ate it and then I promptly weighed myself and went to the bathroom and shoved a toothbrush down my throat and kept at it until I felt as empty as I could.

I wish I felt better - I wish I could say I suddenly felt lighter or something like that. I feel like absolute shit. It wasn't even a binge. It was just in me and I didn't want it there.

Sorry, I just wanted to get that out of my system. Thanks for listening.

small update: I binged on three pickles and about a cup of pickle juice (because I have no idea why, probably just that I'm a piece of shit) and then purged about half that up. It was immediate. After it began to settle my stomach was just like 'nope' and I went back to the bathroom. Now I made some lax tea and I have a strange confession. Hence the edit.

I like the way I feel now after I purge- a good purge. My eyes water and my stomach sort of hurts. I like the control. I sort of feel kind of pretty afterwards. I'm all sorts of fucked up man. What is wrong with me...

[Rant/Rave] word vomit: why I restrict
/u/setniessesed [5'11.5" | CW: 141 GW: 130 | 18.71 | -18lbs | 20/F]
Created: Thu Nov 3 19:26:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b0u8f/word_vomit_why_i_restrict/
---
Hi guys I'm feeling alone in this and frustrated so I typed up a long random thought passage


I know it seems obvious, but I just realized I restrict because I can't stand the self hatred I feel when I balloon. to me, weirdly, it's separate from the want for a better body. I do obviously want it to look good, but the thing that motivates me the most is remembering how I feel when I overeat or am at a higher weight - that feeling of shame, it literally consumes me 24/7. It's like my brain is just lit up in agony constantly, it doesn't allow for anything else. I cannot quiet that voice screaming in my head until I shrink.


When I feel like eating again I remember how that felt and wonder if I can even endure it again without breaking. The last time I was bingeing I just broke down and sobbed on my studio floor and cut my leg all up with an exacto knife I found. I couldn't stand existing like that anymore without distracting and punishing myself.


I don't know where this feeling comes from or why it's so astoundingly intense. I wasn't bullied when I was younger or made fun of for my weight too much that I can remember.


I also only hate this disorder when I binge, not when I restrict. It's sad to me that I have much less energy and am more cold, but it's not the "this isn't how life is supposed to be" kind of feeling I get on the opposite end of the spectrum. I'm fine as long as I don't overeat and am not at a higher weight, and am losing weight; I'm happy and feel strong and independent.


I just want to be in that state forever, I never want to feel that agony again. But realistically I know I will, and it makes me afraid to know when.

[Other] Part-eating foods?
/u/twwyptm [5'5| CW 117 | GW 100 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 3 18:51:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b0nqq/parteating_foods/
---
I have a weird ED-related routine. I've searched this subreddit to see if it's common, but I'm starting to feel like I might be the only one?


So whenever I'm eating on my own, I will only eat particular parts of meals/foods. Examples:

* I will eat all the toppings off pizza, including the sauce, and throw away the base.

* I will eat all of the chocolate off a KitKat, and throw the wafer.

* I will eat the meat and cheese layers of a lasagne, and throw away the pasta.

* I will pick out and eat the chocolate chips of cookies.

* I will scrape out and throw away the inside of chunky chips (or fries, for American's) and just eat the oily/crispy skin.


etc etc


I've been doing this for years and years. It started during "recovery" when my ED first got very bad. I don't really know why I do it. I'm finding it impossible to break the habit though. I will avoid eating a lot of the above foods when I'm around other people, because eating the whole thing makes me very uncomfortable.

[Meme/Humor (SUNDAYS ONLY)] me single every day
/u/pencilwonder [175cm | why | NB]
Created: Thu Nov 3 18:47:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b0n1g/me_single_every_day/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ir8JPJbNjV0

[Help] pls help restricting and drinking
/u/katerinavlaas
Created: Thu Nov 3 18:46:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b0mvz/pls_help_restricting_and_drinking/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] DAE have a really counterintuitive safe food?
/u/littlestpiglet [5'2" | CW: 102.2 | 18.69/19.36 | UGW: 98 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 3 18:23:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b0ilm/dae_have_a_really_counterintuitive_safe_food/
---
It seems like most safe foods (including most of my own) are low-cal, but I was wondering if anyone else had a particular safe food that doesn't seem like it should be a safe food. Something you can eat without feeling anxious/guilty/on the verge of binging, but that's pretty high cal.

For me, it's any sort of basic meat (pork chops, steak, chicken thighs, etc.). I feel totally okay eating a huge portion of meat (like, I can easily polish off a 12-oz steak) even though the calories are quite high and I would lose my shit if I ate an equivalent amount of, say, pasta.

[Discussion] To what degree do you believe an eating disorder and/or substance addiction is a choice?
/u/toastyhigh [5'4 | 105.6| F]
Created: Thu Nov 3 18:21:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b0idh/to_what_degree_do_you_believe_an_eating_disorder/
---
I've heard the quote that having an eating disorder isn't. What do you guys think? Also, not trying to be offensive, just interested in what other people have to say. Personally, I feel that some people are predisposed to a certain behavior but it is not so black and white, and there are certain choices that can be made.

[Rant/Rave] [Rant] apparently I can't read labels
/u/justanotherbrunette [5'7" | 140 | 22.63 | -5 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 3 18:20:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b0i49/rant_apparently_i_cant_read_labels/
---
On mobile, can't properly flair.

So I left for a break at work and went to the co-op to get something to drink to tide me over for the rest of the night. I'm doing 2-4-6-8 to stop me from binging and to help me restrict better, and today is a 2.

I found these Arnold Palmer drinks that were zero cal and organic. I got stoked, grabbed one, and headed back to work. Sat down at my desk and saw that it's iced tea and coconut water, but 80 calories a can. The packages are almost identical, and I grabbed the wrong one.

It's almost half my daily intake today. Even if I skip the 60 cal salad I made for dinner, I still won't be on track.

I'm so angry, and I'm angry that I'm angry about it.

[Help] how do ya'll cut out your binge foods?
/u/get-it_together [5'3" |160??| UGW 130 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 3 17:53:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b0d4m/how_do_yall_cut_out_your_binge_foods/
---
[removed]

[Other] The biggest let down
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 101 | 17.00 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 3 17:52:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b0cxj/the_biggest_let_down/
---
Is knowing your body will never be beautiful. I have an average face and shit body and no tits (I hang out with a bunch of buddies I can take shit from everyone but myself) I don't even care anymore. I will always be ugly. That makes me realize that this will never end.

[Rant/Rave] Was vibin my collarbones and then bummed myself out because of that bit of armpit fat you get when wearing singlet tops 😠
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 3 17:34:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b09hr/was_vibin_my_collarbones_and_then_bummed_myself/
---
[removed]

[Goal] Feeling better about recovery
/u/charchar1779
Created: Thu Nov 3 17:04:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b03qv/feeling_better_about_recovery/
---
(On mobile so can't flair) I've been in recovery for the last few months (5ish) and it's been hard. It's not like I've gained much weight, I'm 106 now at 5ft 4.5in and at my lowest I was around 98-100 pounds. I attribute most of my weight gain to muscle growth because I've started more strength training and leg workouts to keep myself active so that I don't feel like I don't deserve to eat. I'm in high school and in my last hour, PE, we were playing dodgeball. Dodgeball starts a bit weird as the coach has us all lay on our stomachs with our feet against the wall so no one gets a head start. It's uncomfortable as hell. My hipbones, ribs, and knees are all digging into the hard wood of the floor and it hurts like a bitch lol. So there I am laying there when the skinniest girl I know, can't be more than 90-95 pounds, comes and lays down next to me. We'll call her Abby. Abby lays down next to me and says hi and says how uncomfortable it is to lay down. I say right and complain about my hipbones and ribs digging into the ground. She says exactly and then I say that my knees dig into the ground but when I lift them up my hips dig into the ground and vice versa. She says same, it sucks and then says,"There's some flaws in being skinny huh." I don't know if she was calling me skinny as well but I feel like it because we both were having the same problems with laying down on the hard floor. It seems pretty dumb thinking about it now but it really boosted my mood because I was in a bit of a funk today about my body image, my legs in particular.

[Rant/Rave] My weird chocolate obsessions
/u/loving_life0_0
Created: Thu Nov 3 16:59:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b02th/my_weird_chocolate_obsessions/
---
Whenever I want something sweet I'd go to my stash of chocolate, and count how cals are in each to see if it will kill my under 400cal goal. But even if it meets my goal I don't eat it?!? And then the next day I end up buying more and just shove it in my stash but never eat it?!? And it's just there in my room, bags and boxes of chocolate for like 3 weeks, and for some reason I won't eat it, even if I want it it's confusing does anyone else do this?. I feel like I waste so much money a week buying sweets when I could save, but I can't control my self I have to buy it.


Can't flair in mobile ;( I feel like this is a rant though.

[Rant/Rave] Fat pictures from high school
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 3 16:49:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5b00qv/fat_pictures_from_high_school/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] so this is absolute bullshit
/u/daeboo [5ft1/79lbs]
Created: Thu Nov 3 16:38:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5azykc/so_this_is_absolute_bullshit/
---
I know, I know, your problem areas wont be the first to lose weight blah blah blagh blaughr

But every single one of the 11lbs I've lost. Every single goddamn pound, comes from my hips (basically always nonexistent), my ribs (already prominent), my fingers (thanks, r.i.p. my ring collection), and the area between my shoulders and neck (just wtf).

This awful and ranty but I'm pissed. I'm pissed as hell. I'm angry that my body is a disgusting combination of huge arms, huge thighs, and random jutting bones in between. What the fuck, body. What the fucking fuck.

[Discussion] Skewed body perception
/u/antkings [GW 105 | BMI 20.4 | -79lbs | Male 20]
Created: Thu Nov 3 16:17:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5azuaj/skewed_body_perception/
---
Sometimes when I see myself in window reflections, I see someone average, erring on the skinny side. But as soon as I look in a mirror, I balloon into a lard ball. I can feel every part of my body start to roll and fold. Why???? Which is right?? Who is the real me?

Anyone else suffer from something similar?

[Help] After the harsh purge
/u/antkings [GW 105 | BMI 20.4 | -79lbs | Male 20]
Created: Thu Nov 3 16:14:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aztry/after_the_harsh_purge/
---
My throat is scratched, my tummy is roiling, my nose is stuffed. Even drinking water hurts a bit. Does anyone have any advice to recover from the harsh purges?
It always happens when I'm at work (probably because I'm there 24/7 and that's where I eat my food). I know I look like shit afterward, but I can't seem to stop myself sometimes.

(mobile flairlessness)

[Goal] Stepped on a scale for the first time in forever....
/u/possiblycurious [5'5"| 141| -9lbs| F]
Created: Thu Nov 3 16:06:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5azs5m/stepped_on_a_scale_for_the_first_time_in_forever/
---
So, I've been kind of guessing my weight based on how my clothes fit. I'm on my period & feeling a little squishy with all the water weight and eating A TON today. Husband bought a scale that calculates bone density, muscle mass, fat %, and water.


He hopped on & asked if I would too. I told him I was worried about me seeing the number, but didn't care if he saw. He folded a piece of paper & covered it for me. I thanked him for covering the number and said it had been a long time, since I had weighed myself. I figured I was around the 145 mark, but probably 150 due to the water weight and food.


He smiled and said, "It's less than that if you want to know." It was super sweet of him.

I'm pretty stoked knowing more for certain, and don't feel super miserable like I thought I would. Love that man.

[Rant/Rave] Fat pictures on Facebook.
/u/Light__Bright [5'2 | 137 |+40, -6 so far | F]
Created: Thu Nov 3 15:27:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5azjwi/fat_pictures_on_facebook/
---
Hello everyone. I've posted here before but I've mostly lurked for awhile because I have pretty much remained the same instead of losing. I deleted all of my old posts, so long story short, I was obese in middle school, lost 60 lbs/gained eating issues as a teenager, remained that way and fluctuating in my early 20s until I did a recovery program at my university and then gained a LOT.
I have still not gotten back to my highest weight in middle school, but dangerously close.

I don't feel like myself at this weight. When I see pictures I'm usually horrified, but it's gotten worse lately. Without giving away too much personal information, I am in the performing arts field (where there is always a ton of pressure to be thin and attractive anyway!) I was recently in a performance that got some notoriety, and I have been having to endure pictures of myself popping up everywhere on social media. There is one in particular that just looks like the Michillin man...SO horrible. It doesn't help that every other girl involved is absolutely stunning and like a size 00. I am the ONLY bigger girl involved and it has wrecked my self esteem. I have to get back to what I used to look like. I am so upset with myself that when I finally start getting recognized for my talent, it's when I'm fat!

I have more performances coming up in November and December, and I will be damned if I go up onstage again like this. /Rant

how much weight do you normally lose a week
/u/w-a-m-s
Created: Thu Nov 3 14:26:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5az6pk/how_much_weight_do_you_normally_lose_a_week/
---
[removed]

[Thinspo] Snooker thinspo
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 3 14:22:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5az5ne/snooker_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/7HZUj

[Tip] A subreddit plug for those suffering with binge eating...
/u/Orthatworks14
Created: Thu Nov 3 14:16:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5az4ah/a_subreddit_plug_for_those_suffering_with_binge/
---
So I've posted this in a few other subreddits, but someone suggested I post it here as well..

I just wanted to give a plug to r/BingeEatingDisorder

We're trying to build up a community so we can help each other.

[Meme/Humor (SUNDAYS ONLY)] When you get sick and get excited because of all the weight you're gonna lose
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 3 12:50:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ayl6k/when_you_get_sick_and_get_excited_because_of_all/
---
https://imgur.com/gallery/Z3lML

When you get sick and get excited because of all the weight you'll lose
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 3 12:44:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ayjr8/when_you_get_sick_and_get_excited_because_of_all/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/086609e133a54dfc8661e58d63268346?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=d8ee2086af0f39d3635366730ce26a38

[Intro] I'm not strong enough to let go of my eating disorder.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 3 12:40:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ayiza/im_not_strong_enough_to_let_go_of_my_eating/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] finally have a bmi below 20, but still feeling huge
/u/eekcoffee [5'7'' | 128lbs | 19.98 | -28 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 3 12:15:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aydin/finally_have_a_bmi_below_20_but_still_feeling_huge/
---
So these last two days have been amazing in that I've finally dropped down to the 120s, giving me a bmi of below 20.0 :D however, i can't see any difference. at all. i used a tape measure to see how big my waste was and it's still about 30 inches. i feel like this is huge.. i even adjusted my UGW since i'm getting closer and not seeing any difference. ugh i just want to be thin and dainty and beautiful and frail already. rant over...

Body check 11/2 117 lbs
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 3 12:00:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ay9wl/body_check_112_117_lbs/
---
http://i.imgur.com/A0VAmc2.jpg

[Rant/Rave] The basket of Halloween candy that's sitting right in front of me
/u/yummmies [5'4" | 115 | 20.0 | -50 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 3 11:46:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ay6uy/the_basket_of_halloween_candy_thats_sitting_right/
---
Just because I didn't go out and buy leftover candy doesn't mean everyone else didn't apparently. 🙃 lord give me strength

[Discussion] Fitbit friends? 💕
/u/bougainvilleas [5'5.5" | 99-104?? | GW 89]
Created: Thu Nov 3 11:27:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ay2r8/fitbit_friends/
---
just got a new Fitbit—the Flex 2 ([so pretty!](http://imgur.com/a/e60ms))—and would love to add people. it's so much fun to do step competitions, etc :)

here's my user page: https://www.fitbit.com/user/525VZ3

comment or PM me yours if you want to be friends?

[Intro] Hello again!
/u/Glitter_Vega [5f7 | Lots | Embarassing | -38 | Queer]
Created: Thu Nov 3 11:18:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ay0qd/hello_again/
---
Formerly ED_Throwaway_ - I guess after 6 months, I decided I needed an actual name.

That combined with a Creepy Creeperton sort who decided to start PMing me (and making new accounts when I blocked, ick), pushed me towards it.
Anyway, hello again all :) Nice to be back.

[Rant/Rave] [Mini rant] Want to binge and sleep instead of seeing boyfriend this weekend.
/u/PooTeeWeet5 [5'5 | CW: 148lb of fat | BMI: 25 | Goal: 118 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 3 10:39:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5axs1y/mini_rant_want_to_binge_and_sleep_instead_of/
---
My boyfriend and I have been fighting a lot lately. This weekend I'm supposed to stay with him (he lives about 2 hours from me). The last time we saw each other was at my place - we fought and he left and went back home.

I don't want to see him this weekend. I don't want to deal with any of that. I just want to order pizza and chinese food and binge and purge and sleep until Monday.

I am such a fat, shitty girlfriend.

[Discussion] "Foodie" recipe blogs with calorie counts?
/u/antimeridian [mellon collie and the infinite fatness]
Created: Thu Nov 3 10:26:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5axp9m/foodie_recipe_blogs_with_calorie_counts/
---
Anyone know of any good recipe blogs that also list the calories? I'm the type of person who'd prefer to eat an extremely small portion of good food (though nothing super calorific ofc) than a large portion of bland-yet-filling food.

[Rant/Rave] Best friend woes (rant/ support?)
/u/Isuckatus3rnames
Created: Thu Nov 3 10:18:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5axnke/best_friend_woes_rant_support/
---
Hello everyone, I (20F) recently joined reddit and quickly found this sub (terribly sorry in advance if I make any blunders).
Anyways, a little bit of background info before I cut to the chase. I had an ED through most of high school and first year uni, I still struggle with it most days but as of this year I started to finally think about a little less....
Right until my best friend came up for a visit. She goes to school out of the country so I only see her a couple times a year.
She has always been larger than me, not exceptionally so, but because she's like an inch or two shorter it was visible. However her last visit has me a little envious to say the least. She's smaller than me by quite a bit now. I couldn't stop starring at her wrists and comparing them to mine during dinner, as well as how much she ate vs. how much I did.
Now I just feel like I want to go back to my old ways so that I'll be smaller than her when she visits next.

I just feel so lost. And gross, very gross.

(Sorry for any mistakes this was done on mobile)

Tl;dr: my best friend is thinner than I am and it makes me sick.

[Other] I just bought a massive amount of on sale Halloween candy.
/u/lilialley
Created: Thu Nov 3 09:55:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5axib0/i_just_bought_a_massive_amount_of_on_sale/
---
I have a big bowl of all of my favorites sitting in the living room. Reese's, Kit-Kats, Twix, Snickers, Milky Way...I'm imagining myself walking in there, digging my hands in, and eating it handful after handful. It's probably around 10,000 calories worth of candy. I just went in there and gave it a big, creepy sniff.

I don't know why I bought it. I'm trying to avoid the binge. I think that I'm going to force myself to not eat until I've finished my homework entirely, and then I'll just never eat!

[Rant/Rave] I hate how quickly the cold comes back.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [Everybody's Fool]
Created: Thu Nov 3 08:32:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ax0yp/i_hate_how_quickly_the_cold_comes_back/
---
I've been eating to maintenance/overeating (although thankfully no legit binging) for the past week and a half instead of fasting/restricting, mainly on carbs but generally a lot of everything. I wanted to make sure I had the energy for a race, and then when the race was done I spent halloween and the day after with my partner and we ate a lot.

I felt so warm. It was such a nice change from being cold all the time. Thinking about it... It was strange actually, I don't remember feeling a warmness like that before. I would feel the cold on my skin in a sense, at least some kind of cold sensation on the surface, but I wouldn't *feel* it deep down. It was like, inside my body was a furnace. Everyone else at the race on Monday was bundled up against the cold with so many layers of clothes, even whilst they were running. I felt fine in just a t-shirt, everyone commented on it (especially since all my friends there know I usually feel the cold more than anyone else). It was so cold that I found my hands stiff and hard to move by the end of the night (I didn't even wear the gloves I took with me), but not once did I *feel* them cold? If that makes sense. Everything inside me was so, so warm.. I didn't even shiver once.

Anyway. That's neither here nor there. Yesterday I began restricting again. I ate around 600kcal total, so not even all that low... yet today? Once again, I'm absolutely freezing. I'm shivering just getting out of bed, feeling the coldness deep inside me.

I'd have thought the heat would have lasted a little longer :( now I don't want to go out because I'm feeling it so much.

I wish I understood my body.

[Rant/Rave] XS sized clothes are rare and expensive [rant]
/u/k-w- [5'5 | CW 95 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 3 08:26:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5awzu6/xs_sized_clothes_are_rare_and_expensive_rant/
---
sorry for no flair, I'm on mobile

I hear all the time about how it's so hard to find clothes in larger sizes. That's true to an extent, most of the clothes you see in stores are S, M, or L. There is no XXXL at American Eagle or Aeropostale. But there are plus sized sections and plus sized stores people can go to, and some of them are pretty fashionable. I believe Forever 21 has one.

I'm now getting to the point where a size small is a bit too big, and my size 2 skinny jeans don't look like skinny jeans and I keep having to pull them up. If I want clothes in XS, I can't go to the thrift store downtown. In fact, I can't go to *any* of the stores in my town because the smallest size is S. I have to go to the fucking mall, which is 30 min from my house, and which I hate (thanks, anxiety disorder <3) and go to American Eagle or Aeropostale and spend a crazy amount of money on new clothes. The best part is, even at these stores, XS sizes are uncommon! A lot of shirts and dresses are only available down to S, and there are no stores or sections geared towards small sizes, unless I'm gonna shop in the kids section (which I'm considering, but the pink and sparkly tees are not my style).

And I don't have any money! I have about $500 in the bank saved from an internship I did over the summer and, thanks to a mental breakdown I had about a month ago, I'm not gonna be able to get a job anytime soon. I live with my parents. I need this $500 to last.

I wish I hadn't gotten rid of most of the clothes I wore in 6th/7th grade. Especially my jeans. That's the biggest problem right now, I can deal with loose fitting shirts but my pants slide down and look baggy and I only have one belt. The high waisted ones are alright, but I only have a couple of those and the pockets are fake. Ugh.

[Goal] This guy Im thinging with 24/7 motivation
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 3 08:19:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5awymk/this_guy_im_thinging_with_247_motivation/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] I haven't showered in 2 days because I can't bear to touch myself.
/u/shillacct2016 [5'4" | 150 | 25.7| Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Thu Nov 3 08:14:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5awxhs/i_havent_showered_in_2_days_because_i_cant_bear/
---
I've been bingeing for more than a week, it's like I want to hate myself enough to just give up on everything. I'm so huge. I'm so uncomfortable in all this fat.

Sorry about the sob story, I'm just trying out the share your pathetic feelings thing in a sub that seems to understand.

[Discussion] How many of you ever feel like maybe you were just born to be fat?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 3 08:05:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5awvsb/how_many_of_you_ever_feel_like_maybe_you_were/
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[deleted]

[Help] Sick and still restricting?
/u/Alkylhalides [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Thu Nov 3 07:59:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5awukr/sick_and_still_restricting/
---
I've been heavily restricting for the past couple weeks (with the occasional alcohol binge) and now I'm really sick with a horrible sore throat, no voice, and all congested and dying basically. Should I just eat normally until I get better? Will I gain too much or will it balance out because I'm sick? Does anyone have any low-calorie nutritious foods to eat when sick?

[Discussion] (Discussion) did everyone see that a guy got hep c from drinking too much energy drink?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 3 07:01:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5awk7x/discussion_did_everyone_see_that_a_guy_got_hep_c/
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https://www.google.com/amp/www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-3895972/amp/Man-50-got-hepatitis-energy-drinks-Doctors-issue-warning-consuming-patient-five-cans-day-developed-disease.html

[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support November 03, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Nov 3 06:07:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5awbu9/weekly_emotional_support_november_03_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

*****

Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 03, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Nov 3 06:07:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5awbti/daily_food_diary_november_03_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 03, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Help] DAE have a really thin friend who eats more than you do?
/u/LazyFawn [165 cm | 54.4 kg | 19.98 cuz im petty | 18 f]
Created: Thu Nov 3 05:05:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aw390/dae_have_a_really_thin_friend_who_eats_more_than/
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it pisses me off. she eats a white bread and nutella for breakfast along with iced tea, she eats a huge sandwich for lunch, we go to mcd after school sometimes and she gets the 20 nugget box thing.. and eats it all. i eat fucking 4??

and shes still 15 kilos lower weight than me. like wtf. why. how. i eat an egg for breakfast, i skip lunch. i eat below 1000 kcal every day, usually around 500. i run, i do yoga. she doesnt fucking do shit

and like. i feel super guilty about it too, she's one of my best friends. and like. this fucked up hate towards her. she doesn't deserve that at all. i just can't seem to stop myself from thinking like this :(

anyone else been in a similar situation? tips on overcoming it?

[Rant/Rave] I've always been a little underweight and had trouble with food, now I've decided I want to lose a stone and have started eating <800kcal a day. Why am I doing this?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 3 05:04:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aw344/ive_always_been_a_little_underweight_and_had/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Hey fellow babes! I'm just trying to calorie restrict hard and do moderate cardio to help. I've been loooking up lots of intermittent fasting but with low calorie consumption.. if anyone tries that fasting let me know your results!
/u/1exiehope
Created: Thu Nov 3 04:41:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aw06c/hey_fellow_babes_im_just_trying_to_calorie/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] So envious of my coworker
/u/erythridoll
Created: Thu Nov 3 04:32:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5avz7x/so_envious_of_my_coworker/
---
The woman I share my office with is so skinny, but that's not even the reason I'm envious (though, I mean, I AM envious of that, but still lol).

I have no self control when it comes to food. I can fast and make sure I have no junk food around me, but if you put it in my sight I turn into a monster.

My office mate however always has snacks available for herself and whoever wants them. She keeps a bag of Oreos, a bag of peanut butter pretzels, a jar of peanut butter, a jar of marshmallow fluff, a loaf of bread, a two liter of full sugar soda, and now a pile of Halloween candy at her desk. And she barely touches any of them! I'm so envious of her self control, I know for a fact that if I had that stuff at my desk I'd destroy it all within a couple of days. She's inspiring too, though. It makes me want to have a more nonchalant attitude about food instead of obsessing over it constantly.

(Sorry I guess this is a rant but I'm on mobile and can't flair)

[Rant/Rave] Today was not a good day [Rant/Rave] tl;dr
/u/xcris19x [5'3 | FATFATFAT | Fat | F | -13lbs | UGW: 90/95 |]
Created: Thu Nov 3 03:34:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5avst9/today_was_not_a_good_day_rantrave_tldr/
---
I was at work and we were doing shipment. It's retail so lots of boxes. We completed about 30 boxes, still have 34 in the back and 18 in the front. You get the picture.

Anyways, I was helping to load carry-over and over-stock boxes into our overhead storage platform. My supervisor was struggling with a set of boxes that wouldn't fit and I asked her if she wanted me to climb up on to the top of the platform and adjust more directly.

We are technically not supposed to do this but we are technically not supposed to do a lot of things that we do anyways. So I ask and she says that previously an ex-supervisor used to do that, "but she was super tiny. Like, 110 tiny." I'm like, okay... I don't respond and she goes on to add, "yeah she's super tiny, so, no offense but, ya know" ... I just sort of nodded and walked back to the register.

You guys, it takes a lot to get to me, but this did it. I was actually feeling REALLY good about myself today. I had on leggings, my shiny boots, a long shirt/dress with Polo collar that looked super cute on me. I did my makeup and was wearing my favorite most over-sized sweater; I almost took a picture for this sub I was feeling so proud. But that killed me.

I died in that moment. I binged later because who the fuck cares but now all I'm looking forward to is tomorrow when my wife goes to work, when I'm alone, when I can purge and purge and purge until I'm nothing. I mean seriously, just fuck me. I'm such a fat fucking whale.

Tl;dr: I was feeling sort of good about myself today until my supervisor said I was fat.

[Thinspo] Is this too extreme
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 3 03:29:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5avsct/is_this_too_extreme/
---
https://oddshot.tv/shot/Uzoo-EeIo-FM76Yi86Q7g_aA

[Discussion] Anyone want to join me in a binge free week? Day 4
/u/goodvibeswanted2
Created: Thu Nov 3 03:14:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5avqs1/anyone_want_to_join_me_in_a_binge_free_week_day_4/
---
Feel free to post your progress below. Don't hesitate to join if you're just now finding the thread.

Starting Today. Need to stay on track ate 800kcal yesterday :(
/u/ResurrectionOfMarion
Created: Thu Nov 3 03:08:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5avq68/starting_today_need_to_stay_on_track_ate_800kcal/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/3cdc6467a34247ac9bafeb13660d15de?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=bdeca74abc8fdf8e65bc71fac0af1e21

[Rant/Rave] Anyone else obsessive to the point of distress?
/u/nicfrae [5'7 | GW<116 | -54lbs | F24]
Created: Thu Nov 3 02:58:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5avp8e/anyone_else_obsessive_to_the_point_of_distress/
---
So today I planned out my calories before I even left the house, they added up perfectly to just under 700 - my limit for November. I get to the store and the soup I was going to buy is out of stock. This very nearly ruined my whole day. I had to scour for something similar, something that wouldn't fuck up my calculations or put me over my limit, I was pissed off at the store for selling out (I know), pissed off at myself for how much this affected me. Almost had a panic attack. I stood there for ages, inputting different combinations into MFP to work out what I could and couldn't buy and the whole time I was thinking how it fucking sucks that I can't just pick something up and buy it.
Just at the point where I'm about to throw in the towel and binge (3 days into November, I'm pathetic), I go for some chicken and a salad. 95 cal salad + 100 cal chicken = I'm at something like 690 for the day. Perfect.
I'm almost proud that I had that willpower to stick to my plans although my mind was already in self sabotage mode. However I got home and plugged the info into MFP, and turns out the chicken is 100 cal per 100g, so for the whole pack is something more like 125 cal. Not the end of the world, no. Only now I'm over 700 for the day by like 15 cal and I CANNOT get over it. I feel like a failure no matter how much I try to remind myself I was seconds away from consuming maybe double that. I know I've already burned that 15 off today but its the principle I guess. Why can't I just be normal... I see these people who pick up the food they want without checking the calories, without comparing to the other stuff, they're in and out within minutes. I wonder why I can't be like that. Then I remember that I WAS once, but I was also fat, so I go back to my miserable obsessive counting. This has to be the better alternative. I keep telling myself so anyway.

[Discussion] What does your ideal body look like?
/u/taeyeons-comrade [perpetual shame]
Created: Thu Nov 3 02:57:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5avp4f/what_does_your_ideal_body_look_like/
---
I'm curious about what other people wish they could look like. My "ideal body" changes all the type. Some days I want to be fit-skinny, some days I want to be bony and emaciated looking and sometimes I wish I could be curvy and not feel fat.

At the moment, I want [this](http://i.imgur.com/TWj42zc.jpg)

[Rant/Rave] Counting down the days...
/u/Ciggiesandtea [159 cm | CW:whale | GW: 50 kg| 24/f]
Created: Thu Nov 3 02:10:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5avkj9/counting_down_the_days/
---
(rant, sorry can't flair on mobile)

I made the worst mistake of my life by accepting roommates 4 months ago . They're die-hard foodies and have bodies to go along with it.

They constantly offer me food (which I admit is delicious) and freak out at the minor suspicion that I might be fasting or restricting. It's gotten to the point where they make me sit down and eat in front of them (I am nowhere near stick-THIN). This has made me go into binge/purge mode, I've obviously gained weight and I hate it.

I'm counting down the days till my lease is up so I can be on my own again and get back to staring at my gloriously zero calorie fridge.



[Thinspo] Buzzfeed's unintentional reverse thinspo?
/u/hatemyfat
Created: Thu Nov 3 00:39:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5avav0/buzzfeeds_unintentional_reverse_thinspo/
---
http://m.imgur.com/a/4DUG3

[Rant/Rave] Panicking from "overeating"
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 2 23:59:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5av5wu/panicking_from_overeating/
---
I'm having to hide the scale so I don't weigh myself for a few days. I just CAN'T see a number even .1 lb higher.

I had fast food from 2 different places today giving me 1300 cal and 87 grams of fat :(( can't stop crying. My stomach feels so big and pregnant

[Rant/Rave] Spent 20$ on candy
/u/KajaIsForeverAlone [height:5'9 | CW: 135 BMI:20 | weight lost:25 lbs | Gender: F]
Created: Wed Nov 2 22:58:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aux4s/spent_20_on_candy/
---
Ate a whole bag, and like half a bottle of laxatives. And now I've actually gotten sick. Sick sick. I've been depressed lately
Please kill me

[Thinspo] Extreme trigger | Cure for my slackerism
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 2 22:56:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5auwql/extreme_trigger_cure_for_my_slackerism/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aaXBYcfVYZM

[Discussion] DAE feel like their ED is constantly changing faces?
/u/fiddlydiddly [5'4 | 125 lbs | 21.9 | -115 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Nov 2 22:33:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aut1l/dae_feel_like_their_ed_is_constantly_changing/
---
Hey everybody,

I've been struggling a lot recently and have finally decided I really need to jump on getting help. Not really sure if that means recovery or just steadily trying to get "better", but I can't really take this anymore.

However, I'm discouraged because it seems like every few months or even weeks my ED is different. I was bulimic for two years three years ago, it went away suddenly and I ate intuitively for the years following and maintained. In February when I relapsed, I was restricting at around 800 kcal a day but didn't count macros. I dropped weight dramatically, then it stopped. Started leaning more towards orthorexia at this point and was pretty obsessive about my macros and what types of food I was eating, but my calorie intake increased. Then my chronic digestive issues became suddenly much worse, leading to great weight fluctuations from water/food and this stress lead to binging and purging again.

Thankfully I've managed to be binge free for about a week now, but now I've started fasting consistently because it's so simple, but it really negatively impacts my schoolwork and relationships. It keeps changing and I just don't know how to handle it, the only thing that stays the same is the obsession over food and thinking about it constantly.

I'm just so tired. This shouldn't be my life, shouldn't be what I think about the most. I should think about my life goals, my career, my wonderful boyfriend and family, hobbies. Not fucking food. :(

[Meme/Humor (SUNDAYS ONLY)] Maybe I should just eat these. My cat seems to like them.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 2 22:06:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aupg7/maybe_i_should_just_eat_these_my_cat_seems_to/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/7923e0ae885f44f8af9e0f5e9151f9c2?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=c6b88f02b1393fe0e3eb43915f813991

[Discussion] you know you're sick when...
/u/miniatureti [5'4 | CW 142 | GW 115| -15.5 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 2 21:51:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aun7b/you_know_youre_sick_when/
---
you're happy that you threw up after taking a shit ton of pills. because if i'm not gonna die at least i get to throw up without my fingers down my throat, am i right ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

also, hey it's been a while since i posted on here. i think i made one post and then right back to creeping

[Rant/Rave] Fed up
/u/the_caffeine_queen [5'4" | 145 | 25 | constantly in flux | F]
Created: Wed Nov 2 21:20:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5auinb/fed_up/
---
I'm so tired of being this way, but I feel like I can't escape it.
Last year, I started binge eating after years of restriction, and gained 20 pounds.
Last semester, I started therapy, and really really started working to fight my disordered eating and terrible body image. I lost 15 pounds and gained significant muscle and finally felt sort of good about myself? (even though I wasn't at my lowest weight) I felt healthy.
Now, I'm up to my highest weight ever. I'm overweight for the first time in my life.
This summer, I was working a super physical job where I couldn't eat during the day, so I would come home every night RAVENOUS and binge. My weight stayed about the same, because of the physical nature of the job.
I also faced a lot of sexual harassment on the job. Men would objectify me and make comments about my body... and it just put me in this horrible mental cycle where if they said something I felt like an object but if they didn't say anything, I felt even worse.

Now, I'm fat. I hate being this way so so much. I haven't gone 2 days without binging since moving back to school. I'm stuck in a binge-restrict cycle and I don't know how to break it. I restrict to numb the pain. I binge to mask the pain. Restricting feels so so good. Binging feels just as good. Then guilt. Then restriction. Then a little voice-- what if you just tried to eat healthily again? Then a binge. Then another voice-- see, that's why you can't be trusted to eat. Then restriction.

And isn't it sad? I wish men would notice me again. That's all I want or care about. I want men to find me fuckable. I'm getting a degree in computer science from a prestigious university, am involved in many leadership and volunteer positions, and am working on publishing my writings... but none of that matters because a random man hasn't told me he thinks my ass looks good since August.

The last time I had sex was a month ago and I've gained 5 pounds since then. I worry that the guy (who I see every week) must think, "Oh my god, she really let herself go, thank god I didn't stick with that."

I sit in the dining hall and all I can think about is "Oh my god, everyone here knows that you gained so much weight, they all know how fat you are now, little fat piggy" and my way of saying "fuck you" to that is to binge?

I feel hopeless. Like I had some sort of HOPE last semester, I could finally be healthy, I could finally feel good about myself... but now I feel like even if I get back to that place again, it will be futile because I will just end up crashing again.

I'm tired of eating nothing and then eating everything. I'm tired of wondering what every man around me thinks. I'm tired of not feeling like a human. I'm tired of being a human. I'm tired of being a woman. I'm tired of letting my obsession with my body overshadow everything I've worked so hard to accomplish. I'm tired of not working hard enough to my body something I'm proud of.

[Thinspo] Thinspo: sun kissed and perfect
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 2 21:11:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5auha2/thinspo_sun_kissed_and_perfect/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/62e2508c09c349649db1fd4b7ae0542d?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=a7c71ad06dd3870e9ba956492371b3e3

[Help] I loved purging
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 2 20:40:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5auc2r/i_loved_purging/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] After months of binge eating and gaining 20 lbs, I've finally been able to lose 2 lbs...
/u/lily_nienna [6'3" | 166lbs | bmi 20.7 | + 6 lbs (T.T) | F]
Created: Wed Nov 2 20:23:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5au92h/after_months_of_binge_eating_and_gaining_20_lbs/
---
Ever since I moved to Minnesota in May, my life has been a depressing mess, and of course I coped by binge eating junk food and ended up gaining all the pounds I had managed to lose beforehand plus more. I'm now on a med regimen (Effexor, Wellbutrin, Adderall, among numerous others...) that has totally killed my appetite. The mere thought of eating makes me feel queasy, and so I've finally managed to lose a few pounds. It's so liberating! I just hope it lasts, because I know that the appetite suppressing side effects of most medications tend to wear off as your body adjusts...
Anyway, thanks for reading and have a nice day! <3

[Help] Want to help me guess the calorie count? (Please)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 2 19:47:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5au2ke/want_to_help_me_guess_the_calorie_count_please/
---
http://imgur.com/u0bBwbT

[Rant/Rave] I stayed under my calories but I still feel like a whale...
/u/TitsWithRoses [5'3" | CW:160 |-21 | GW:107]
Created: Wed Nov 2 19:00:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5atu9b/i_stayed_under_my_calories_but_i_still_feel_like/
---
I only ate 800 kcal all day, but I still feel like a gross blob. I've been losing so much because of restricting, why do I feel like this? The only time I feel good is when I eat nothing at all...

[Rant/Rave] MRW it's 2am and I have coursework due tomorrow but I'm too busy B/P
/u/copofteashirt
Created: Wed Nov 2 18:56:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5attdi/mrw_its_2am_and_i_have_coursework_due_tomorrow/
---
http://i.imgur.com/QGkcbyO.gif

[Rant/Rave] cancelled my trip because i'm too fat :') (rant)
/u/thukui [5'3 | 114 | GW 88 | -16 | 20F]
Created: Wed Nov 2 18:13:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5atlph/cancelled_my_trip_because_im_too_fat_rant/
---
i wanted to write this here cause no one else will understand. I was supposed to go to vancouver (canada) to visit family with my bf for 5 days, but i cannot bring myself to go because i'm so disgusting and fat right now!
when i saw that side of my family this time last year i was at my lw of 108. i wanted to be at least that, if not skinnier before i saw them again but i've been binging for like 2 weeks and now i'm like 120 again. ugh! i'm always in competition with my sister and she's way skinner than me and loves to squeeze my fat so i just keep picturing her poking and squeezing my butt and stomach.
my bf is so mad at me for cancelling but i can't really tell him why i don't wanna go lmao. oh well

I used to get called thunder thighs. The name calling has stopped. (Cant flair mobile)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 2 18:09:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5atkx5/i_used_to_get_called_thunder_thighs_the_name/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/481d0747440543d1ac64efedfb4d2bb1?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=a933886a2dbbf27fd5e569981e1534ac

I was active today
/u/BlackGirlSteeze
Created: Wed Nov 2 17:15:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5atanb/i_was_active_today/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/08c17a085bc24d95bfe84123e7780a2f?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=78e3a63dc3f9c4e6647c3f7fd6abcc27

[Rant/Rave] I've spent three days binging and three days hating myself as a result.
/u/GingerrWithASoul [5'6 | 126.4 | 20.48 | Female]
Created: Wed Nov 2 16:22:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aszzf/ive_spent_three_days_binging_and_three_days/
---
Yet I can't stop. I'm still eating as I type this. I'm in physical pain from how full I am but it's not enough. I'm aware that I should stop but I can't. It's like I'm punishing myself for binging by binging more.

[Discussion] just figured out my biggest trigger for restricting
/u/getrekt3
Created: Wed Nov 2 15:53:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5astup/just_figured_out_my_biggest_trigger_for/
---
my best friend and i basically just broke up our friendship after hanging out and talking almost every single day for years. we had a really intense friendship, but it got really toxic in the end. sucks cuz we both care still, but we have a lot of complicated, deep-rooted problems that are difficult to resolve. def enhanced by her kissing my crush right in front of me while drunk.

good news though: have kept a fast up except for zero kcal energy drinks for the past day and a half. i usually purge with ridiculous frequency when i'm upset, but right now i just feel absolutely no desire to eat ever again.

any similar experiences? just wanted to share xo

[Discussion] Moving in with boyfriend, tips to keep it relatively healthy?
/u/Cosmoflower [168cm | 152lbs| 24.43 | 19lbs | F]
Created: Wed Nov 2 15:47:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5assp0/moving_in_with_boyfriend_tips_to_keep_it/
---
Hi everyone,

I'm about to move in with my boyfriend and in the mean time we will be living at his parents place for a few months, I'm super excited!

However, I've become used to living independently and because of this have been able to have a majority of control over my food supply and therefor my mental state in regard to food consumption.

Having control over my food means I am able to avoid a lot of mental grief and anxiety over eating, and not have to panic about hiding particular eating habits too much. But when I make this move I worry about people noticing I'm not eating or lying about eating for example, and it starting to skew their opinions of me or worry about me.

I am also worried that because when I am with my boyfriend I have a tendency to let myself get away with eating things or too much when I know will cause me severe mental problems later on which I've struggled to hide before, and have a tendency to take out on people when I don't know how to communicate properly. He's amazing and of course I have found my way of speaking to him about everything, but I don't want him to have to worry about it.

The thing is, I obviously will be able to bring my own food into the house and things but there will be a lot of food around and also cooked for me that won't be easy to avoid either.

I'm a bit worried I guess about starting a bad cycle of letting myself eat and then hating myself which I won't be able to stabilise, where as living alone I can sort of monitor it to stop myself from getting out of control mentally?

I guess in summary - I'm moving in with my boyfriend and his family, its going to be amazing and I'm looking forward to it, but I'm worried about how I'm going to cope mentally in regard to food and am trying to put a strategy in place for myself and I was wondering if anyone had any advice to give or experience to share in regard to this situation!

I just want to be able to start the next chapter of my life as best I can :)

Thanks friends.

[Help] Someone save me from myself.
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 185 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 2 15:23:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5asnrl/someone_save_me_from_myself/
---
I'm crying and stuffing my stupid face with candy. Someone tell at me to go for a walk please.


Alright I put pants on and I'm going to the park. Thanks guys.

[Goal] My Apple Watch (and Tubbs from Neko Atsume) is helping me stay on track!
/u/chrrie
Created: Wed Nov 2 15:22:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5asnjd/my_apple_watch_and_tubbs_from_neko_atsume_is/
---
http://imgur.com/a/AIc3V

[Rant/Rave] WTF appetite
/u/sincereenfuego [5'9" | 135 | 19.9 | ? | M]
Created: Wed Nov 2 15:04:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5asjt2/wtf_appetite/
---
Made it through Halloween without eating candy but come today, I go in the fridge for a bottle of water and see my roommates half eaten McDonalds hash brown. I don't know why but I ate the shit out of it. I mean seriously, who leave HALF a hash brown. I am secretly pissed at my room mate now.

[Rant/Rave] The fuq appetite?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 2 14:54:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ashjt/the_fuq_appetite/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] My Extended Fast: Day 1 Complete
/u/ForeverEmptyInside [5'9"| CW:115 lbs | BMI 17 | LW:104lbs | M]
Created: Wed Nov 2 14:49:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5asgnu/my_extended_fast_day_1_complete/
---
[previous post] (https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ae0en/fasting_for_a_month/)

I enjoyed my last week of October,

I got drunk four times

I got high twice

And I even tripped once.

Why not have a little fun before I embark on this long spiral downwards?

Anyways, I completed the first 24 hours easily. I've done 7 & 10 day fasts before so I don't think it'll be an issue.

Not sure how often I'll do these posts either.. I'll try *not* to every day because that would spam the subreddit.

Sorry for the ramble, I don't have anyone else in my life who would listen to me about this.

[Intro] Intro
/u/sassafraskitten
Created: Wed Nov 2 14:26:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5asbwj/intro/
---
Hi, I thought I'd introduce myself. I'm a 24 year old lesbian living in Texas. I work as a mental health case manager and am working on my MS in clinical mental health counseling. I've had my ED since I was 9-10, due to complex childhood trauma. I've been in treatment a few times (most recently 6 months ago) and been in recovery for some chunks of time, but I've decided I'm not doing that anymore. Hating myself for eating is taking up way too much of my time. So I'm going back to old habits.

I also have hypothyroidism and some sort of autoimmune and neurological issues that cause severe chronic pain (currently being referred to multiple specialists to figure it out).

Also, I'm brand new to reddit, so there's a decent chance I'm doing something wrong. I can't figure out how to add flair/add my BMI or goal weight or anything.

[Rant/Rave] Chew and spit is ruining me.
/u/skullp00pl
Created: Wed Nov 2 14:04:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5as6zk/chew_and_spit_is_ruining_me/
---
I like the taste of food, I'd say most people do. Sometimes it can be hard to not want to just eat garbage, which is why I picked up the chew and spit habit.

My problem now is that I'm so used to spitting out things, that when I get to a certain texture after chewing food normally (with the intention of swallowing it), I have to force it down and stop myself from gagging. I've associated the texture with "abort, do not swallow" and now I've royally fucked myself.

Way to go, me.

[Rant/Rave] i went for a walk
/u/kennedyconnolly [5'9| 120 | 17.4]
Created: Wed Nov 2 14:01:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5as6bv/i_went_for_a_walk/
---
so. i walk a mile after practice everyday so that i can burn some extra calories before im forced to go home and eat. i do this secretly because ya know dont want anyone telling my parents!

my coach knows i have an ED but not much else.

so im walking down the street (that my coach lives on, i feel stupid now) and im lowkey freaking out because my dad is coming to pick me up and i dont know if i will finish the walk in time. so i decide to start jogging and all of a sudden my coach is THERE. RIGHT THERE.

shes like "what are you doing?"

"when i saw you i started running to you!"

"ohkay... who is picking you up.."

"my dad.... uh my therapist said i should take a walk after practice to free my mind"

"well okay it is a de stressor"

*awkward silence/laughing*

"well cya tomorrow coach!!"

"ok bye now"

IM FREAKING OUT. IDK IF SHES GONNA TELL AND IM SO SCARED TBH. SOOOO AWK.

[Tip] Seriously Helpful Apps
/u/antkings [GW 105 | BMI 20.4 | -79lbs | Male 20]
Created: Wed Nov 2 13:49:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5as3vv/seriously_helpful_apps/
---
I use [Argus ](https://imgur.com/gallery/gIMk4) which will calculate how many calories you burn from walking based off of your stats, and then applies them atop your bmr so you can see how many calories you ACTUALLY burned in a day. You can easily add exercises as well. You can quickly view and add your coffee, water, and calorie intake, as well as your macronutrients. Check out the photo in the link!
Anyone else have a seriously helpful app suggestion?
(mobile, no flair)

Having a bad week then I realize....
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 2 13:12:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5arvw3/having_a_bad_week_then_i_realize/
---
http://imgur.com/a/q2VeK

[Help] need new incentive...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 2 12:29:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5armhm/need_new_incentive/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Super Emotional Video about Binge Eating
/u/starfishwishez [5'11" | 220 | 32.5 | -3lbs | GW: 170]
Created: Wed Nov 2 11:46:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5arcz3/super_emotional_video_about_binge_eating/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWHIAQ84AZM

[Discussion] My boyfriend and I are doing the 10k kcal challenge on Saturday for our anniversary...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 2 11:16:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ar6et/my_boyfriend_and_i_are_doing_the_10k_kcal/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] ►candy◄
/u/eatdrinksmokegreen [5'4" | 133 lbs | 23.2 | -37 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Nov 2 10:59:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ar2kp/candy/
---
So my house is full of candy right now. . . Basically fasting is impossible. . . I can ignore the hunger pains for days but sugar/candy cravings almost always break me. It's quite the viscous cycle. While I'm normally a restricter, I've had several binge/purge episodes over the past month (long before the introduction of halloween candy). . . I'm pretty much purging daily now regardless of if I binge or not. . . But anyway, back to the candy. . . It doesn't seem to come back up? Everything else I eat on a binge does. . . Just none of the little chocolate candies. . . That's impossible right? I just binged on 6 of them after eating some chicken and broccoli. . Eating the chicken and broccoli first so at least anything absorbed would be nutritious. . . BUT. . . That came back out just fine. . No candy. . What have I done??

[Other] Found this passage from my gender and sexuality textbook from last year. still messes with me a little
/u/ikillsouls [5' 2" | 104 | 19.0 | Ugw: 85 |19f]
Created: Wed Nov 2 10:17:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aqtmj/found_this_passage_from_my_gender_and_sexuality/
---
https://i.redd.it/z8ky7jwue8vx.jpg

[Discussion] Anybody else have a Jawbone fitness tracker?
/u/TessTobias [5'5" | 120 | 19.7 | -22]
Created: Wed Nov 2 10:14:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aqsrj/anybody_else_have_a_jawbone_fitness_tracker/
---
I bought a Jawbone UP move Fitness tracker from Target the other day because it was down from $50 to $15. It's just to hold me over until I can save up for a Fitbit but in the meantime I was wondering if anybody else has one because you can add friends on the app. You can even duel each other. I thought it would be a fun way to keep moving for no binge November!

[Rant/Rave] The new guy I'm dating has more discipline than me and I'm jealous lol
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 2 10:08:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aqrip/the_new_guy_im_dating_has_more_discipline_than_me/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] How to successfully spiral out of control. A time lapse. (Long)
/u/IdidntChooseThis [5'11.5" | CW: 116.0 GW: 114 UGW: 110 | 15.95 | 19F]
Created: Wed Nov 2 09:55:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aqolz/how_to_successfully_spiral_out_of_control_a_time/
---
These past two weeks have been some of the worst weeks of my life.

Fourteen days ago my therapist (who works with me on suicidal ideation and trauma) convinced me (in a moment of weakness for me) that it was time I did an assessment to see what a treatment center could do for me.

Ten days ago I told my roommate about the appointment (she has prior history with this shit), and she told me that I didn't know half the beast I was dealing with.

Eight days ago, my therapist asks if she can tell my doctor of the appointment and that I am seeking treatment, another moment of weakness and I give permission, even though my paperwork for her says not to contact him.

Seven days ago I had my appointment and they recommended residential after paying a deductible (in the thousands), which I cannot afford at all. Also seven days ago, my roommate tells me that she is taking over my diet and that she will monitor everything that I eat and has guilted me into eating more and more. She took my food scale and my personal scale. She went through my reddit and my phone and deleted any thinspo or quotes. She probably knows this username but whatever.

Six days ago I had an appointment with my doctor (who also prescribes my hormones [trans mtf]), and after looking through the paperwork he decides that it's time for me to come off of estradiol (estrogen) after 13 months of being on it. He gives no explanation on what I have to do to receive it again, and I haven't been able to get in touch with him since.

Five days ago I started to hate myself more than usual. Especially while showering/changing.

Four days ago I started to have withdrawal symptoms. Whether from the increase in diet or the loss of estradiol, I don't know.



Three days ago, the random erections that accompany pubescent boys came back. I was getting dressed and a pair of flats turned me on. I'm scared it will happen again. That evening, I had a panic attack, the first one I'd had in over six months.

Two days ago I noticed how dry and red my face had become. I couldn't cleanse my face enough to get all the dead skin off. I use to always get compliments on how smooth my face was, and how they all wanted to know my skin care, it wasn't much and I always said it was good genetics and moisturizer

One day ago, a person in my class said that I didn't look like my usual, chipper self. My eyes have lost their brightness, and the dark circles show how little rest I've been able to have. My face is red and splotchy and my eyes were bloodshot from the stress.


This morning, my roommate weighed me. I gained 4 pounds. I also received my bloodwork and EKG results. I'm fine. No heart issues, no elevated blood pressure, no nothing. Everything was normal. They weighed me with a coat on so I weighed five extra pounds. They didn't need to know. I would still have my hormones if I just refused my therapist's request to tell my doctor


I was so close to being thin. I might have been cracking in private, but it was nothing like the break I've had now. I'm on the precipice of one bad situation after the next. I can't trust anyone and I don't feel safe in my home. I was so close to being pretty, and while I would never be the five foot four person that I want to be, I would at least be a size zero. I've been buying two's and it makes me so happy, my shirts are a size small everywhere I shop. I didn't have to try shirts on either, I could pick a small and it would be the correct size 8/10 times.


Not anymore, though. Gone are the days where I felt in control of my life. Gone are those moments of happiness when I hit a new low, when even half a pound made me feel thinner when I looked in the mirror. Now, I'm already getting fat. I'm already losing the progress that I made. I didn't want recovery. My ED kept me focused on my schoolwork, it slowed my spiral, it kept me sane, but now it has been taken away from me. I can't get anything done. I can't focus on my school. I turned in a paper that needed one more edit to be perfect my professor said, but instead, I got a B. I wanted that A. I worked hard on that paper. I just couldn't bring myself to get out of bed to work on it. I am all over the place. I forget where I am going and all of my dissociation symptoms are coming back. I feel physical pain. I can't find my advil.

I'm trapped. No one is on my side, I don't know who to trust, no one understands the demons that I have to fight and how this ED was my ally that gave me the strength to live my life. I control my life. It's my body, I can do what I want with it. If I want to mold it into something completely disgusting to you then that is my right to do so. I will be as pretty and thin as the other girls. Even if it kills me.


I'll be dead by the holidays. The last thing I can control is whether I live or die. It's almost time for my suffering to end.




Formatting edit.











[Discussion] [PSA] Some new rules and new mods!
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | 117.8 | 19.83 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 2 09:23:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aqhq7/psa_some_new_rules_and_new_mods/
---
Hey everyone! The mods have been chatting, and we definitely feel your frustration with low-effort posts and people treating this sub as a "lose-it lite" instead of a safe space for those with eating disorders.

From today onward, we'll be reverting back to only posting selfies in the Friday Selfie, Progress Pics, and OOTD thread. In addition, all memes and funny threads/pictures will be relegated to "Meme Sundays." Hopefully this will clear up the front page for more active discussions and providing help to those who need it. We all enjoy those types of posts, but there have been far too many lately, and it is diluting the content of the sub. Please save them for their respective days!

Also, we have two new mods from across the pond! /u/woollyshirt joined us a couple weeks ago, and /u/smokesanddietcokes joined today! They both have contributed so much to this sub, and we know they'll do a great job moderating while those of us in the colonies are sleeping ;) Please give them a warm welcome!

[Rant/Rave] sorry, mom
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 2 09:03:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aqdgh/sorry_mom/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Are laxatives really that dangerous?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 2 08:28:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aq6f3/are_laxatives_really_that_dangerous/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Does anyone here shop at Costco?
/u/descendingscales [5'7 | 160 | 25.1 | -50lbs | F]
Created: Wed Nov 2 08:12:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aq397/does_anyone_here_shop_at_costco/
---
My boyfriend works at Costco and has been wanting me to come by and visit while he's at work. I literally just got a membership and I don't want it to go to waste completely, but the idea of buying anything in bulk is making me very anxious. Are there any low-cal staples anyone can suggest that I can buy while there?

[Discussion] How often do you weigh yourself?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 2 07:58:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aq0k3/how_often_do_you_weigh_yourself/
---
On mobile; can't flair!

I weigh myself every morning, first thing.

Also, how much of a weight difference do you look for? If I don't lose a pound each day, I tend to hate myself more. Like this morning, I was only down .4 pounds, and I'm hating on myself big time for what I ate yesterday.

On the upside, I lost 14 pounds in the month of October! Shooting for 20 lbs lost in November :)

[Rant/Rave] Peace, Love and Little Donuts Opening in Town
/u/starfishwishez [5'11" | 220 | 32.5 | -3lbs | GW: 170]
Created: Wed Nov 2 07:58:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aq0f5/peace_love_and_little_donuts_opening_in_town/
---
So, I go to school in Huntington, WV and I just got an email that a new shop called, "Peace, Love and Little Donuts," is opening in the town square. Like... of course we fucking do. Huntington is like the 3rd highest in obesity. And they're equating feeling peaceful and feeling love, with fucking donuts. We already have a cupcake store, ice creameries, bars, and greasy spoon restaurants. Why can't we have something actually healthy? Instead, we got this stupid junk food place that encourages emotional eating.

[Tip] Good morning, lovelies! I thought I'd share my new favorite breakfast. On the same level as halo top imo.
/u/dbishop22
Created: Wed Nov 2 06:16:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5apizs/good_morning_lovelies_i_thought_id_share_my_new/
---
https://imgur.com/a/1qcFs

[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday November 02, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Nov 2 06:09:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aphso/way_to_go_wednesday_november_02_2016/
---

This is the weekly achievement thread for November 02, 2016.

This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!

*****

Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 02, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Nov 2 06:09:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aphrq/daily_food_diary_november_02_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 02, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Other] its been a messy past couple of days but I'm gonna get back into things
/u/leatherhoff [5"3 | 130 | ftm (not on hrt yet)]
Created: Wed Nov 2 04:24:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ap4ez/its_been_a_messy_past_couple_of_days_but_im_gonna/
---
i was doing alright last week, until the weekend. Binged a lot. Halloween rolls around, I plan to fast, what happens instead? I get drunk and get Chinese food. Yesterday I was still at a friends house, his mum made us food which I had to eat out of obligation, went home and cooked myself a big stir fry and then binged on leftover Halloween sweets for the rest of the day. Today I'm still feeling off, it usually takes me a couple days to come down after binges, but I'm aiming to get back on track asap. I'm gonna have lunch at work today as one last high cal thing then I'm gonna fast for the rest of the day, or at least restrict if I have to eat, then starting tomorrow I'm gonna get back into my sub-400 cals/day or fasting routine. I don't care if anyone thinks I need to eat more - I feel so much better about myself when I'm losing weight and barely eating and I don't think people realise just how disgusting I am so they tell me I don't need to starve. But hey newsflash, I do, and I'm gonna get back into it from later today onwards. Gonna be slim and pretty by my 18th, got one month left to do it now so I need to clamp down. I got this

edit: WELL FUCK GUESS WHO BINGED AGAIN

[Rant/Rave] literally cannot stand when
/u/gin-and-lemon [🐝 5'1"| cw: 150lbs | bmi: 29 | -15lbs | f]
Created: Wed Nov 2 03:48:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ap0hj/literally_cannot_stand_when/
---
people are like "oh i eat 1100-1300 cals a day!! why am i not losing weight!!"

look here look me in the eyes

do u track ALL OF YOUR CALORIES?

DRINKS COUNT

SNACKS COUNT

THAT TINY THING U ATE OFF SOMEONE ELSES PLATE

IT COUNTS

BOOZE EXTRA COUNTS (DONT PRETEND IT DOESN'T HAVE CALORIES LIFE ISNT THAT KIND)

***screaming intensifies***

^im ^sorry ^that ^most ^of ^my ^posts ^are ^damn ^near ^shitposts

[Goal] Anyone want to join me in a binge free week? Day 3
/u/goodvibeswanted2
Created: Wed Nov 2 02:44:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aottu/anyone_want_to_join_me_in_a_binge_free_week_day_3/
---
Yesterday I faltered, but today is a new day. I overate yesterday. I racked up over 2400 calories. Obviously I'm disappointed. It could have been a lot worse, and I'm thankful it wasn't. I'm thinking of fasting for part of the day today to try and make up some of the calories. Tonight I'm going to a wing place for trivia night. I'm not sure if I'll eat there. Maybe I should eat something before I go so I don't go too crazy, especially if I manage to skip lunch.

I hope my weaknesses don't discourage or derail anyone here.

[Goal] Finding the confidence to wear body con dresses in public for the first time
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 1 23:52:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aobr8/finding_the_confidence_to_wear_body_con_dresses/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/ed11fc6d5b4e446087c153d4ee2285e8?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=8407bf905ae42cf4918d3f5c0bda4283

You know you did good today when you see this on MFP
/u/nyopq [5'11 | 174.0 | 24.3 | GW: 115 | M]
Created: Tue Nov 1 23:24:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ao8bv/you_know_you_did_good_today_when_you_see_this_on/
---
http://imgur.com/vKQht9w

[Help] joints
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 106 lb | 21.34 | -21.5| Female]
Created: Tue Nov 1 22:32:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ao19a/joints/
---
today i literally felt so achey like all my joints were in so much pain- has this ever happened to anyone/ what vitamins can counteract this?

medications with weight gain side effects
/u/jackaljones
Created: Tue Nov 1 21:44:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5antxr/medications_with_weight_gain_side_effects/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Has anyone ever worked at a job that triggered self esteem issues/body dysmorphia/ed?
/u/dooksofireland
Created: Tue Nov 1 20:52:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5anl1c/has_anyone_ever_worked_at_a_job_that_triggered/
---
I feel like my issues with my body came along when I stupidly decided to work at Hooters for a year when I turned 18, at the time I thought it would make me more confident but in hindsight it was horrible for me. I was so self aware because of the men, comparing myself to the other girls, and obviously the tight as hell uniform...my boss at the time who weighed 450 lbs i shit you not told me i wasnt thin enough to wear a crop top..ill never forget that lol even though I was purging alot at this time..
just wondering if anyone else has been influenced by a job like this before...

[Rant/Rave] Well I still have an eating disorder
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 126 lbs | 18.95 BMI | -37 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Nov 1 20:35:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ani5y/well_i_still_have_an_eating_disorder/
---
I thought I was recovering. In fact, I've been determined to recover and I've talked about it here before. Lifting weights, counting macros, trying to be ok with not losing every day. But I'm not eating enough. I've slipped into intermittent fasting just because it makes the scale go down. I feel dizzy and tired all the time and I'm barely struggling through my workouts (which I still doggedly do four times a week). My strength is going up in the gym and my weight is holding (mostly) steady,but I know I'm not feeding myself like I should. My body dysmorphia is through the roof and I'm constantly anxious about calories. Lately I've added excruciatingly painful hunger pangs to the mix, which make it hard to solve the problem by eating more like my brain is telling me I have to.

I'm taking body check photos almost daily and studying them throughout the day to determine if I'm "ok" or not. I really can't tell. Am I still fat? Am I still that chunky girl I feel like I always am? I know I'm nothing like dangerously thin, not a single person is worried about me when they look at me. But I feel sick, so I must be. Right? I don't even know.

I just can't get better. It's impossible. I'm going to die slowly of this fucking monster my mother gave me.

[Discussion] Can I be my own thinspo?
/u/TitsWithRoses [5'3" | CW:160 |-21 | GW:107]
Created: Tue Nov 1 19:51:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5anadj/can_i_be_my_own_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/sfSN6

[Goal] confession: part of me does it for the knee socks
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 1 19:42:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5an8si/confession_part_of_me_does_it_for_the_knee_socks/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/fa478788259a4008821ae12fad19bfb1?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=8d4124f4de9fb51fcfd43c1d779084f3

[Rant/Rave] Sick and filled with regret
/u/alliknowis___
Created: Tue Nov 1 19:36:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5an7lk/sick_and_filled_with_regret/
---
It's midterms. I have a horrible cold. So today I woke up and said fuck it! I walked into my local grocery and bought the value pack of chocolate chip cookies (2 lbs). I looked awesome Halloween, aced my classes so far, I deserve this.

Today has been such a haze. Filled with smoking weed to fall asleep, sleeping most of the day away, and absent-mindedly stuffing cookies down my gullet because I'm sick and my family are states away so no one can take care of me and make me chicken soup =[ granted I'm used to this and am almost 30 but whenever I'm sick I always want my mommy.

Finally I'm wide awake with clarity and a stuffed nose that refuses conventional remedies and I start to process the damage I've done to any progress. My stomach is turning so I look up a calorie estimate...I ate almost 4000 calories (there's still cookies left). That's just crazy talk! If I knew I was going to do that I would've ordered a pizza pie and have frozen most of it so it'd be harder to binge.

I've tried purging and my throat is too sore from this cold for that to be bearable. I know I should drink lots of water, it's just one day, etc. But it sickens me that I was capable of such a thing and I want all of this out of my belly asap. Halp.

[Rant/Rave] My Parents and my ED
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 170lb | M]
Created: Tue Nov 1 19:22:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5an52a/my_parents_and_my_ed/
---
They have no earthly idea what's going on, besides a general sense of alarm. And I really try to empathize with their perspective on the whole thing-- I'm really not romanticizing or indulging my ED any more than I have to.

But I just broke a two day fast and ended up binging. So, obviously, it's today that they ask me if I've "been losing weight again." Today, when my face is puffy and my hips have sunk back beneath a sea of fat.

Today. Not the 48 hours that I didn't eat a single thing, *today.*

It just makes me want to scream-- it's the unintentional, bumbling equivalent of a catty coworker / classmate saying, just as you cut a slice of binge cake, "Your diet looks like it's going well."

[Rant/Rave] Not doing well. Have no one to tell. [Vent]
/u/invisible_lizz [5' | 107.8 | BMI:21 l GW 90| -36.2 l F]
Created: Tue Nov 1 18:08:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5amr7v/not_doing_well_have_no_one_to_tell_vent/
---
I don't even know where to start. I'm a mess. My life is a mess. My apartment is a mess. My mind is beyond a mess.


I've been unemployed for about 2 months now. SO was very kind and understanding in the beginning. Now it's causing a strain with our finances because I can't contribute to rent this month. And he's lovely, he really is, but I feel like such a failure.

I imagine in my head that one day he's going to come home and finally snap and get angry that I'm a piece of shit. I can't bring myself to do anything but restrict and feel like shit. I wake up too late. I can't even take my meds on time. I go nowhere. I went out today but the only thing I could think about was going home the whole time. But someone else was driving and I couldn't escape the situation for hours. They drove us to chick fil-a and kept trying to get me to eat a chicken sandwich when I kept fucking telling them that I'm a pescatarian.

Last night I hit a new low because I'm so fucking lonely. I had been mostly self-harm free for almost 2 years, but I broke that last night. I have no friends that I can talk to about my food issues because no one would understand. I don't want to go to my therapist anymore. It's been almost 9 years that I've been in therapy and I'm just getting worse. I feel like it's just a character flaw at this point. I'll always be this way.

I've even lost my appetite completely at this point. I don't even care.

TLDR: I suck at life.

[Tip] Riced Cauliflower is amazing
/u/morose_adipose [5'2 | 90 lbs | 17.05 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 1 18:01:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ampsa/riced_cauliflower_is_amazing/
---
After my carb filled weekend, I have been in horrible gastric distress. I apparently can't process sugar very well anymore. (yay...maybe that'll keep my dumbass from binging on cupcakes and ice cream ever again!) Last night for dinner, I knew I had to eat something super low carb and bland. I had a bag of the Green Giant Riced Cauliflower in my freezer, and so I figured what the hell. I just put salt and pepper on it and holy shit, seriously amazing. Only 2g net carbs and 20 calories per serving, or 8g net carbs and 80 calories for the entire package. It is super filling too. This is going to be my new go-to for dinner. Tonight I'm having it again with lemon pepper and a piece of grilled chicken breast. Freakin' amazing.

Just though I'd share!



[Rant/Rave] The struggle. Rant.
/u/melindasordino
Created: Tue Nov 1 17:55:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5amoj2/the_struggle_rant/
---
Cant flair; on mobile. But this classifies as a rant.

Also, heads up, I used to be mildly active on here as u/presidentkennady. Im not new, just back! Hi!

On to the rant...

Does this ever end? I know i want to get better. I know i want to be healthy! But the execution is almost impossible. And I can reasonably separate my 'ed brain' from the 'logical brain', but that doesnt exactly rid the former of its power. If anything, understanding that what Im doing, why, and why i shouldnt be doing it only exacerbates the problem, creates more anxiety and self hatred. And thus continues the cycle.

Anyone relate? Rant with me. This is exhausting.

I made this for my fiancé & I can't believe I didn't touch it. ~fast on~
/u/tattoosandcoffeee [5'4 | GW 108 | -12]
Created: Tue Nov 1 17:22:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ami7m/i_made_this_for_my_fiancé_i_cant_believe_i_didnt/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/9cc3e5a6e0ab4ea8aac704dc933aaa86?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=e7a8e99c730818cf733c1d6a4bc642ef

[Intro] Just saying hi.
/u/boneybabybitch [5'4" | GW birthweight | BMI 16.3 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 1 17:16:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5amh5l/just_saying_hi/
---
Hi everybody. I've lurked here for a while, and decided to make a new username to participate.

I have dealt with my eating issues since 13. I went into forced recovery at 17, and only felt worse after. I am now in my late 20s, feeling like I am the fattest and most out of control that I've ever been, and feeling like I have no one to talk to about it.

I am happy to have found this forum to be able to vent with all of you. I look forward to getting to know you.



[Discussion] opinions on reverse thinspo?
/u/lllbt
Created: Tue Nov 1 17:15:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5amgve/opinions_on_reverse_thinspo/
---
So I used to look at reverse thinspo when I was feeling like shit and wanted to binge. But I stopped looking at it because it really supports fat shaming which I realllly don't like. Yes, I hate my body, but to hate other peoples bodies because they are larger isn't fair. I would never wish upon anyone to develop an eating disorder because we all know its LIVING HELL. I can't imagine how awful I would feel if I found out someone was using pictures of my body as reverse thinspo. This is toxic and further perpetuates how fucked up our society is on how we view bodies. I don't know, this is definitely a rant at this point. I guess I just feel guilty for having used reverse thinspo

[Help] Stupid question, but could anyone help with some simple ish maths for how fast I was walking?
/u/ADayToRememberFYes
Created: Tue Nov 1 16:44:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5amaox/stupid_question_but_could_anyone_help_with_some/
---
Okay, so I read the new start November posts, and I was like shit, yeah, I should do this properly before Christmas, so I reinstalled MFP (again) and logged in today's meals, and went to add in my walk back from college, but I need to know how fast I walked, and I'm pretty certain it's fairly simple maths, but my brain is just not working today!
Okay, so I went 2 miles, and it took 35 minutes, so that's 17.5 minutes per mile, but how do I switch that to miles per hour?
If anyone could help I'd be super thankful! :)

Side note - can you no longer chose your own daily calorie goal now? Or am I just being stupid again and missing something obvious?

2nd side note- I logged in and saw last year I was 66kg at a similar time, holy shit, I didn't realise I had weighed that much, I thought I was reasonably skinny then! Like I know it's not obese, it just shocked me compared to now, and how much I had put on/lost.
Sorry for the rambles, but thank you in advance! 😊

Edit- thank you everyone! Better maths skills than me 😭😂 Also, turns out I'm eating waay more calories than I thought, and not burning off enough, hopefully this will give me a better idea now...

[Discussion] DAE have a body part pet peeve?
/u/SoFetchBetch [5'8 F CW:115 GW:105 LW:107 HW:138 WL:24]
Created: Tue Nov 1 16:37:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5am92r/dae_have_a_body_part_pet_peeve/
---
Not intending to be negative here just wondering if anyone else shares this feeling. I hate hate hate the feeling of my boobs touching my ribcage and when I'm at my lower weight they shrink up more and I don't get that feeling as much. Right now I'm on the higher side and I just never wanna take my bra off lol.

Also chin and hips. Arg.

Anyone else have a pet peeve body thing?

[Help] Is Monster Zero Calorie ACTUALLY Zero Calorie? Because it's an amazing appetite suppressant.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 1 16:26:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5am73w/is_monster_zero_calorie_actually_zero_calorie/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Rant (sorry on mobile so I can't flair)
/u/borrow_our_light [5'7| 142 | 22.9 | -21lbs | F | GW 115]
Created: Tue Nov 1 15:58:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5am14o/rant_sorry_on_mobile_so_i_cant_flair/
---
I've been restricting heavily and fasting regularly this month but have seen little to no change, and my scale is telling me that as well. Am I just holding onto water weight. I'm not sure what's happening, I was loosing more weight just by restricting.

[Thinspo] My small kpop thinspo album
/u/jiuel1 [5'4"(barely yay) | 122.6 | 20.9 | -12 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Nov 1 15:45:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5alyhd/my_small_kpop_thinspo_album/
---
https://imgur.com/a/MecOv

[Other] Group chat
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 1 15:35:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5alwh5/group_chat/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] New month, new goals.
/u/capture_the_excite
Created: Tue Nov 1 15:15:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5alsch/new_month_new_goals/
---
I've always viewed the coming of a new month as a chance to review things. Sometimes things look good, but often they don't - last month I really got into purging again, which I've been trying to eliminate (two weeks purge-free, yay!).

I was wondering if any of you have goals for November? I have two - I want to continue this no-purging streak, and I want to visit the gym a total of ten times. I've set the bar pretty low and I think it's doable.

They don't necessarily have to be ED related, but I'd love to hear your November goals!

[Other] So a while back I asked about pixie cuts and I finally did it!
/u/starry_daydreamer [4'11" | 93 lbs | 19.95 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 1 14:55:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5alnyo/so_a_while_back_i_asked_about_pixie_cuts_and_i/
---
http://i.imgur.com/q9Uhi7S.jpg

[Meme/Humor] Me when I finally break my fast
/u/Alkylhalides [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Tue Nov 1 13:48:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5al940/me_when_i_finally_break_my_fast/
---
http://i.imgur.com/QfgLKmJ.gifv

[Help] Can't even get out of bed anymore help :(
/u/feelingpeakyy [5'3 | 95lbs | 16.7 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 1 13:42:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5al7z7/cant_even_get_out_of_bed_anymore_help/
---
I'm not at that low weight.. i've been MUCH lower before. But I've been on very low calories for about a month now, generally doing somewhere between 0-400 per day.

I've gotten to the point where I can't get out of bed much. If i have to go outside I'm exhausted. Walking makes my heart pound and I'm out of breath.

Today my chest felt so weird and I couldn't stay awake anymore, and i Had this feeling like I might not wake up from my billionth nap of the day. I live completely alone so no one is here to check on me.

Why am i this weak at a BMI in the 16s - i usually don't feel like this until my BMI is more in the 14s? :( could it be that I've done this one too many times?


[Help] No results and super bummed. Any ideas?
/u/demonofequality [5'5"| CW: 130 | GW: 115 | 21.89 | -20 lbs| F]
Created: Tue Nov 1 13:39:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5al7bp/no_results_and_super_bummed_any_ideas/
---
[removed]

Fasting and working?
/u/charpiercy1
Created: Tue Nov 1 13:36:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5al6ps/fasting_and_working/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] So Zayn Malik apparently struggled with a eating disorder.
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 64.1 | GW: < 57 | 21.42/21.17 | F ]
Created: Tue Nov 1 13:35:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5al6fl/so_zayn_malik_apparently_struggled_with_a_eating/
---
https://www.buzzfeed.com/eleanorbate/zayn-has-revealed-he-dealt-with-an-eating-disorder?utm_term=.glveNkZgl#.wrBbBYPxe

[Discussion] i need support. please.
/u/notlivinghonestly
Created: Tue Nov 1 13:24:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5al3tc/i_need_support_please/
---
[removed]

[Other] Would anyone be interested in starting a kik group?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 1 13:23:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5al3pk/would_anyone_be_interested_in_starting_a_kik_group/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] Paranoid trash-can weirdo at work.
/u/gastastic [5'1 | 118.0 | 26F]
Created: Tue Nov 1 12:56:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5akxtq/paranoid_trashcan_weirdo_at_work/
---
For Halloween, my coworker brought in cupcakes. It wasn't even 9AM, and I grabbed one. Only ate half-ish. Fast forward to 2PM and I was logging my cupcake in MFP and I started to doubt whether I really only had half. So I dug to the bottom of my waste bin (small one just at my desk), but my damn nosy coworker, whom I've mentioned here before, came up just as I was finishing.

She asked what I was doing and I just straight up told her to see how much of it I actually ate.

She quips, "you know, Gastastic, food is required for sustenance!" And I'm like, "yup". I'm not even that tiny. Like, be worried in however many pounds from now, but not NOW.

But anyways. That's what I get for being paranoid.

What's great about november:
/u/knobbje
Created: Tue Nov 1 12:05:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5akmrx/whats_great_about_november/
---
[removed]

Anyone here willing to join me in this challenge? It seems quite possible tho!
/u/knobbje
Created: Tue Nov 1 12:03:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5akmc9/anyone_here_willing_to_join_me_in_this_challenge/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/cd2469e8674d4454b059ccf31178fb2b?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=d93ed5d6ae296c5d9350796f1ae08e01

[Rant/Rave] I hate halloween
/u/knobbje
Created: Tue Nov 1 12:02:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5akm3g/i_hate_halloween/
---
I hate myself for being expected to love sweets. I hate Halloween for being such an unhealthy holiday. I hate myself for having no time to burn the calories. I hate Halloween for having to hide those calories afterwards.
At least I'm starting a new eating plan tomorrow..

[Discussion] DAE base their perception of their body entirely on the number on the scale?
/u/peony_princess
Created: Tue Nov 1 11:58:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5akl5b/dae_base_their_perception_of_their_body_entirely/
---
I think I just realized that I have no idea what I actually look like...

I didn't weigh myself all weekend because my sister was staying with me (my scale is in the back of my closet with a bunch of sticky notes of weight numbers above it that I rip off the wall when I pass that weight. I didn't want her to find my weird shrine to obsessive weight loss so I just didn't go in there). Yesterday when I went to weigh myself I accidentally fucked up the calibration of my scale while moving it and didn't realize it. I weighed in at about 9 pounds higher than I had been before the weekend. Then I looked in the mirror and I could SEE it. I could see 9 extra pounds on my hips and my legs and I just felt so fat and disgusting and like I had somehow undone all progress I've ever made in my life in three days.

I weighed myself again at night after resetting the zero on the scale and I was back down to normal. And now I look in the mirror and, while I still feel unsatisfied with what I see, I don't see nine extra pounds anymore?

Do any of you guys have similar issues? I feel like it's weird that I couldn't tell that I hadn't actually gained nine pounds...

[Discussion] (discussion) Why collarbones?
/u/dudeswallow
Created: Tue Nov 1 11:46:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5akiol/discussion_why_collarbones/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Headaches while fasting
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 1 11:43:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aki3f/headaches_while_fasting/
---
How do you deal with them? Mine are mind splitting.

[Rant/Rave] An accurate representation of my first term in college.
/u/Korraaa [5'6 | CW: *cries* GW: 110 |]
Created: Tue Nov 1 11:35:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5akgft/an_accurate_representation_of_my_first_term_in/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/634f5eb7a5ae431081d2159c2a712d8d?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=4312aeefc0cefe586dcdabc2f884f357

[Rant/Rave] Had a few months of binge, back on track, but feeling defeated. [rant]
/u/chicklet2011 [5'6" | 152# | 26% | -38# | F]
Created: Tue Nov 1 11:30:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5akfbu/had_a_few_months_of_binge_back_on_track_but/
---
On mobile, no flair.

I used a healthy diet to go from 189lbs to 160lbs. Then an unhealthy level of restriction to get to 147, which looked pretty good on my 5'6" frame. Not where I wanted to be, but I was okay with myself. Short backslide to 155lbs for about 6 months, then I tried an antianxiety medicine that had increased appetite as a side effect, and I lost control, and gained 20 lbs in a month.

Now I'm 175lbs again. I hate myself. UGW is something like 127. I have to lose 50lbs again. I worked so hard to lose 50 the first time, I'm just so tired of this.

Yesterday I did well, but my body is no longer used to going without food. I love the empty clean feeling of hunger, but I get dizzy and jittery and lose focus, and this is not the time in the school semester for this. Today I'm running on black coffee, sf redbull, and an apple, and I feel that lovely empty clean feeling, but I'm grinding my teeth so badly because of the jitters.

I'm feeling defeated, but I have work to do, and I just have to get better at it.

[Discussion] [Discussion] Need your best bouillon recipes!
/u/mace__face [5'6 | CW:112 | BMI:18.08 | GW:108 | F -16lbs]
Created: Tue Nov 1 10:45:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ak5jd/discussion_need_your_best_bouillon_recipes/
---
So I just started using bouillon cubes (I'm way late I know) and they're amazing! It's starting to get cold here so I made some chicken broth with garlic and thyme which was wonderful and homey.

So lovelies hit me with your go-to bouillon recipes!


[Help] qqquestions
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 1 10:04:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ajwhk/qqquestions/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] I'm so hungry
/u/pinotblanc [5'3 | GW:115 | -16 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 1 09:51:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ajtqu/im_so_hungry/
---
I'm starving. I've had 2 cups of tea and 750mL of water. I'm still hungry. All I can think about is food. I wanted to fast today but I don't think I can make it. I am so hungry!

[Goal] No-Cheat November! Who's with me?
/u/married_to_a_reddito
Created: Tue Nov 1 09:50:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ajtie/nocheat_november_whos_with_me/
---
Okay people, whether you're restricting, in recovery, or trying to maintain, this is a month to build willpower before the craziness of December sets in. Who's is ready to make November a cheating free month? Hmmm?

I think December comes with so much temptation with all the candies, parties, baked goods, etc. so why not enter with an iron will? We can all do this together! Let's OWN November and then tell December who's boss!

Comment by stating what your rules for yourself are. Remember to be simple and be kind. Don't make an impossible plan for yourself to follow. Start with a reasonable goal and go from there.

You can do it!

[Thinspo] anime characters
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 1 09:37:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ajqq8/anime_characters/
---
does anyone else use anime characters as thinspo? I know this is super weird, but one of my ultimate goals is to look like a cute anime girl. people have told me I look like one/ have big eyes like an anime character, but I need a tiny body to match.....lol 😂

[Discussion] No-Binge November Day One
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 1 09:02:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ajjm2/nobinge_november_day_one/
---
[deleted]

Computer Science (off topic)
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 170lb | M]
Created: Tue Nov 1 07:59:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aj774/computer_science_off_topic/
---
[removed]

[Help] Halloween Candy Nutritional Info Dump
/u/WeighingDown [5'2" | 108 | 20.46 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 1 07:52:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aj5xc/halloween_candy_nutritional_info_dump/
---
Halloween was stressful and so are all the lingering candies and chocolates we might encounter these next few weeks.

Since some of us may have some stray goodies without the box that has the nutritional values, maybe we can share the nutritional values for Halloween/mini sized candies that we DO know so we can use this as a reference. I'll add some below.

[Meme/Humor] Story of my life
/u/LazyFawn [165 cm | 54.4 kg | 19.98 cuz im petty | 18 f]
Created: Tue Nov 1 07:47:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aj51d/story_of_my_life/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/30d02c65a7814ae7a0592fd0ca24675d?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=e0aeef261789a27a361f1d4f36d698b6

[Goal] Starting Nov 1st with a fast & the right mindset
/u/tattoosandcoffeee [5'4 | GW 108 | -12]
Created: Tue Nov 1 07:43:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aj4bx/starting_nov_1st_with_a_fast_the_right_mindset/
---
[removed]

[Meme/Humor] When you've been struggling to lose then suddenly drop 3 lbs overnight...
/u/fairyspice [5'3" | 112 | 19.8 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 1 07:32:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aj2f5/when_youve_been_struggling_to_lose_then_suddenly/
---
http://imgur.com/xymXUCk

[Sticky] Self-care and Beauty Q+A November 01, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Nov 1 06:10:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aionb/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_november_01_2016/
---

Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

*****

Self-care and beauty threads are posted every Tuesday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 01, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Nov 1 06:10:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aioms/daily_food_diary_november_01_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 01, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Rant/Rave] Bronkaid mix-up . I'm so duuuumb!!
/u/Phantomsgf [5'2" | 144lbs | GW:125 | -16 lbs |F]
Created: Tue Nov 1 05:48:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ailcp/bronkaid_mixup_im_so_duuuumb/
---
So I went to buy bronkaid for the first time in order to try EC stacks. I've never bought it before and I'm in a country where I don't speak the native language very fluently, but the pharmacist understands English.
So I ask if they have it, he says yes, the price is not too bad, so I bought it. I was so excited that I didn't bother to stop and read the label to confirm it actually had ephedrine/ephedra in it. (also I thought it would all be written in the other language I still don't fully understand)

As I get back to the car I pull out the box and start reading.
The second ingredient written in there is Eucalyptus... which I am deadly allergic to. Awesome.
To top it off it doesn't even contain Ephedra/Ephedrine.
So I just spent money on something completely useless which I can't even take when I actually do get a cold. I'm such an idiot.

At least now my SO has a new medicine for when he's sick I guess...?

[Tip] Welcome to November.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | 142.6 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 1 05:47:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ail8r/welcome_to_november/
---
Do you know the great thing about November? It has no memory of October. If you asked November what happened last night, it couldn't tell you a single thing. If you cried on his shoulder and told him how much you overate at the end of October, November would just shrug. Typical November, only cares about himself (and ensuring Christmas decorations go up after Thanksgiving). He doesn't even care about December.

You have 30 days ahead of you. That's it. We're thinking short term. What can you do in those 30 days? Live in the now. Make all your actions support your goals. And take your vitamins. Always do that and drink plenty of water. Come on, we know this.

Point is, use November wisely. Close your eyes and pretend it's December 31st. That's 2 months from now. What will you be wishing you accomplished in two months? Why not think of all your New Year Resolutions and get a jump start on some? Even one.

I hope all of your have a wonderful November. Some of us will be stressing about Thanksgiving pretty soon, but it's just one day. Don't worry about it the whole month. We've got this. Just work towards your goals, keep them in mind, and be safe.

[Rant/Rave] Having a hard time dealing with extreme hunger
/u/InSkyLimitEra [5' 7.25" | CW 112.5 | HW 180 | LW 110 | 29 F]
Created: Tue Nov 1 00:31:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aho5i/having_a_hard_time_dealing_with_extreme_hunger/
---
Hey folks.

First off, thanks for continuing to support me through all my eating issues. I know people on the outside have a hard time seeing past the name of the sub to what it does for us, but you're exactly what I need right now. Thank you.

Anyway, I recently decided to try to maintain or very slowly lose because I have to see my family at Thanksgiving who, doubtless, would notice I've lost a ton of weight and freak out. So for the past couple weeks, I've upped my calorie intake to an average of like 1350/day across a week, which previously would have allowed me to continue losing but not very quickly.

Well, over the past several weeks, I've watched my appetite grow to levels I didn't even know existed. It's not so much that the hunger is constant or that the hunger never goes away. But every single time I feel hungry, the hunger can only be described as absolutely *extreme*. On occasion, it has been so bad that I have thrown open my junk food cabinet and just started ravenously consuming whatever I can most quickly get my hands on, and it literally feels like I don't have control of my own actions. The drive to eat is that intense.

I just got out of bed to binge on nearly 1,000 calories, and each Monday is the beginning of a new "calorie week," so unlike the past two weeks, I already feel like I've fucked up horribly. I don't know what to do. My intention was not to gain weight, but I think my body believes I'm trying to recover now and it's making me eat like I am. I don't want that :-/ This is making me feel really anxious and terrible about myself. I don't want to show my face in public because I'm sure I'm gaining. I can't even bring myself to step on the scale.

Can anyone talk about their experiences with similar extreme hunger? I guess I'm just feeling like a fake and a failure and need support from people who have similar issues. I just want to get back to restricting, but I'm not sure how to simply turn off this massive surge in appetite. I hate it. The intensity of this hunger is beyond intolerable.

[Discussion] Anyone want to join me in a binge free week? Day 2
/u/goodvibeswanted2
Created: Mon Oct 31 23:48:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ahjht/anyone_want_to_join_me_in_a_binge_free_week_day_2/
---
How are you doing? Feel free to post below. Also don't hesitate to join if you missed day 1.



Meth for weightloss?
/u/methweightloss88
Created: Mon Oct 31 23:23:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ahgiz/meth_for_weightloss/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] I hate Halloween
/u/sprinkle1997 [5'2 | CW 129 GW 100 | -25 lbs | 19F]
Created: Mon Oct 31 22:45:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ahblu/i_hate_halloween/
---
Don't get me wrong, it is my FAVORITE holiday! I just can't stand all the candy. I have such a love-hate relationship with food. Today I told myself I would hardly eat but ended up eating everything but the kitchen sink. I've messed up so badly and now I'm just laying in my bed wanting to cry. Ugh. I seriously just want to fast tomorrow, I can't stand feeling full. I wish I would have had more self control today. I'm trying not to beat myself up to hard...but I can't stop thinking about how terrible I was today.

[Discussion] Anyone have a thigh gap with violin hips?
/u/kafka__dreams
Created: Mon Oct 31 22:18:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ah7w3/anyone_have_a_thigh_gap_with_violin_hips/
---
I have an hourglassish shape but its more of a snowman because of my violin hips. I got to a pretty low weight last year but never had a thigh gap, I figure the two may be related?

Edit- ya'll give me hope, thanks kids

[Rant/Rave] Living with SO *trigger warning/ self harm*
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 31 21:20:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5agyx6/living_with_so_trigger_warning_self_harm/
---
[deleted]

[Meme/Humor] Work Food Allowance
/u/miss_morticia [5'10" | cw: 146 | gw: 105 | 20.90 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 31 20:34:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5agr43/work_food_allowance/
---
My boss told me to save my food receipts while I am on a work trip for the next week. He started to give me a budget than said "Fuck it, just don't go crazy okay?". I agreed and told my husband what he said later. My husband cracked up. "So basically you're going to turn in a receipt for a couple of salads and diet coke and he'll realize you're the cheapest employee ever?"


I think he's on to me you guys. XD

[Discussion] does anyone else do this bizarre clothes-related thing?
/u/takingheatfromthesun [5'3.5"| SW 165 | CW 133 | GW 105]
Created: Mon Oct 31 20:07:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5agm9c/does_anyone_else_do_this_bizarre_clothesrelated/
---
so, i've noticed a current trend in clothes with food motifs on them, and i get this sort of sick pleasure out of buying and wearing them! like, it both makes me feel more in control of myself because wearing food instead of eating it, and helps me feel like i'm hiding my unhealthy eating habits because "i love food so much i'm even WEARING it, guys!"

stuff like this:

[pizza sweatshirt](http://www.forever21.com/Product/Product.aspx?BR=f21&Category=app-main&ProductID=2000228838&VariantID=)

[egg shirt](http://www.forever21.com/Product/Product.aspx?br=F21&category=top_blouses&productid=2000213804)

[hangry sweatshirt (this is a personal fave)](http://www.forever21.com/Product/Product.aspx?br=F21&category=top_blouses&productid=2000200240)

does anyone else do this??? and if so, post ur fave food clothes here for me to peruse

[Rant/Rave] I'll always be marked as the fat girl.
/u/lilialley
Created: Mon Oct 31 19:12:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5agchl/ill_always_be_marked_as_the_fat_girl/
---
It doesn't matter how much weight I lose, if I weigh 80 pounds. I have stretch marks in the center of my stomach. Very noticeable. I also have stretch marks on my hips, my boobs, my arms. I just want to cry, did cry a little. I feel so childish because of this.

My body will never be perfect, no matter what I do.

[Discussion] Do you guys find it necessary to exercise to have a good body?
/u/aggressivedoughnut
Created: Mon Oct 31 18:56:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ag9ok/do_you_guys_find_it_necessary_to_exercise_to_have/
---
When I don't exercise my body looks more feminine and smoother but exercise really helps keep my diet in check. Do you guys prefer to diet only or mix the two?

[Goal] I dont hate myself as much in this picture:) Happy Halloween guys
/u/AccaliaOmg [5'3 | 112| 19.7 | -18 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 31 18:18:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ag2q7/i_dont_hate_myself_as_much_in_this_picture_happy/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/49e9d042b9a34b11aaf780663de88bd1?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=58962e52af663f48e1c79e6a13e324c3

[Goal] Felt pretty good about myself today
/u/frailraven [5'10 | CW 117 | LW 115 | F20]
Created: Mon Oct 31 18:02:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5afzl0/felt_pretty_good_about_myself_today/
---
http://i.imgur.com/cHEp0o2.jpg

[Meme/Humor] How to eat Halloween candy.
/u/CowOffTheFarm [65" | 145 | 24.41 | - | F | GW 120]
Created: Mon Oct 31 17:48:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5afx3r/how_to_eat_halloween_candy/
---
1.Collect it from everywhere on campus.

2. Go buy more at the grocery store.

3. Carefully portion it for acceptable calorie counts. Hide the rest.

4. Take one bite.

5. Leave all the portions on your roommates desk because you can't bear to actually eat it.

6. Silently steal it from your roommates desk throughout the night.

[Rant/Rave] My girlfriend thinks I'm a faker
/u/russianfrank
Created: Mon Oct 31 17:43:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5afw7g/my_girlfriend_thinks_im_a_faker/
---
I have never been diagnosed with an ED, and would I never refer to myself as having one (I'd say I have disordered eating).

I was having an argument with my SO the other night and she brought up my eating habits. She was talking about how lately I've been doing nothing but eating out and how I've stopped exercising. She (MtF) said that if there was something she could do or somewhere she could go to get the body that she wants, she'd do it without thinking and commit to it 100%. So she said because thats not how I'm going about getting the body that I want (binging hardcore instead), I'm a poser. I'm not trying hard enough and that makes me a failure. She said she know enough about eating disorders to see that I don't have one, she just sees me eating fuck load and then starve myself for a bit, and then repeat.

Maybe she's right? I don't "deserve" to have an ED because she's right, all I do is eat then fast and still never lose weight. Maybe I am a faker and only want attention. Maybe my mind is working the way it is because I've convinced myself enough to be this pathetic.

Her comment really got to me, I'm not sure if I should listen to her or get angry and tell her that she has no idea what she's talking about. I already feel worthless and like a failure, I don't need her making me feel the same way. How can you possibly fake the way you think and the way you see yourself? I can't fake being fat, that's for sure.

I'm not sure what this post meant to achieve, maybe I just need to vent.

[Meme/Humor] MRW I ate Halo Top for the first time
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 31 17:34:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5afuee/mrw_i_ate_halo_top_for_the_first_time/
---
https://i.imgur.com/v108EQI.jpg

[Rant/Rave] WHAT THE FUCK
/u/Alexa1p [5'5'' | 110 | 18 | -10.7 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 31 17:06:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5afovo/what_the_fuck/
---
I've been eating a bag of popcorn a day, thinking it was around 120 calories (I googled 'calories in a bag of popcorn' and that was the end of my research because I was distracted). I didn't understand how to calculate the calories on the side of the bag because it gave a different number for popped and unpopped which seemed weird to me.

Turns out the brand I got (popsecret) has 500 calories per bag. I've been eating this for like three days fuck my life.

[Discussion] DAE freak out about the holidays?
/u/hazelconner [5'4" | 174.5 | 33.2% BF | -15.5 | X/F]
Created: Mon Oct 31 16:58:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5afn27/dae_freak_out_about_the_holidays/
---
I am working through a cry fest after slogging home through roving trick or treaters.

This used to be my favorite holiday. But I'm too old to trick or treat and too fat to allow myself to have candy. And since I'm too socially awkward to party I have nothing to do except go to the gym

And the next month's are hell. Between my birthday, thanksgiving, the office holiday party, Hannukah, Christmas, my brother's birthday, and New Years? It's food and booze 24/7 for the next two months and I wanna cry.

The food is what always made me happy in the past and I can't let myself have it anymore. And even if I do eat I have to be so controlled that any joy I used to have is gone.

I feel like a black hole is about to swallow me.

Anyone else?

(Mobile)

[Rant/Rave] when you say this is the last time, but you know damn well it isn't: ED horror stories.
/u/toastyhigh [5'4 | 105.6| F]
Created: Mon Oct 31 15:48:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5af8s9/when_you_say_this_is_the_last_time_but_you_know/
---
Around two months ago I had a scare where I thought I was genuinely dying. I felt horrid: lightheaded, cold sweats, swimming vision, heart rate too fast with chest pains, hot/cold flashes. I couldn't think straight, but in the moment I was so scared of death. Pretty much was lying on the floor thinking "okay if I don't die, this is the last time I binge and purge". In any case, even after that terrifying incident, here I am, doing the exact same thing.

I've had a few similar occurrences where I have the irregular heart rate, and shaking but that one was by far the scariest.

[Discussion] DAE feel like they will never be delicate because of genetics?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105 | GW: 99 | 18.0 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 31 15:47:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5af8jz/dae_feel_like_they_will_never_be_delicate_because/
---
I see so many girls who weigh more than me and have more fat but look tinier/more delicate because they have smaller shoulder bones, their hips are narrower, and they have naturally leaner muscles. I feel like I'll always look big because my shoulders and hips are wide and my legs are all bulky muscle even though I don't do anything with them at all.
Does anyone else feel this way? Any advice?

[Thinspo] In order to stop myself from a Halloween candy binge, I created a thinspo/bonespo/antithinspo album.
/u/skullp00pl
Created: Mon Oct 31 15:17:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5af25z/in_order_to_stop_myself_from_a_halloween_candy/
---
http://imgur.com/a/SJG5S

[Rant/Rave] Relief and sadness
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 31 15:09:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5af0iz/relief_and_sadness/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] I've fucked up again
/u/boneobsessed [5'4" | Sw 173lbs | Cw 158.2lbs | -14 lbs | Gw 95lbs | F]
Created: Mon Oct 31 15:08:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5af0au/ive_fucked_up_again/
---
Back to where I started with a BMI of 29.3. I had it down to 27 three months ago. What the fuck is wrong with me? Seriously I eat mindlessly, just binging until I can't anymore. It's satisfying and depressing to go through a whole bag of crisps or whatever shitty fucking food I'm eating. I want to be back in the mindset where I stopped eating, I just want to be pretty. I hate myself so much. I'm looking to go on a medication to control my binging now since I'm at a point where I'm just a wreck. I'm terrified of food yet I fucking scarf it down. I can't live like this anymore. I need to fit into my Victorian dresses, I need a thigh gap, I need hipbones, a rib cage, and collar bones that are so fucking sharp they could cut someone. I'm fucking sick mentally and I feel like nothing is going to help me anymore. I want to fit into all the tiny vintage clothing more than anything, I just want to look like a Victorian princess. Fuck I am screwed and rambling. I need help. I almost want to post a picture so I can be shamed but I'm just so disgusted I can't look in the mirror. Im sorry for this useless post. I can't deal with life anymore. Can someone just take all my food away from me? Please?

[Discussion] Working in Food
/u/sossox
Created: Mon Oct 31 14:28:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aera0/working_in_food/
---
So i'm currently living out my biggest nightmare. I work in a restaurant where i'm constantly around food and my biggest weakness/binge food: ice cream. It fucking sucks. If we mess up food, we get to eat it. We get half off on everything. We get free food also. It's everywhere and I can't get away from it. I'm fasting right now and typing this on my break. I'm really struggling to stay strong.

[Rant/Rave] Work Parties Are Hell
/u/carolineeo [5'7" | 113| 18.0| 20 | 21F]
Created: Mon Oct 31 14:11:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aenf9/work_parties_are_hell/
---
Just spent the last hour awkwardly sitting in a corner with my ice water fending off all the, "Are you going to eat anything?" & "Aren't you hungry??" faux-concern from my coworkers during our Halloween luncheon... all the food was full of butter, cream, cheese, etc etc etc like walking through my own personal version of food hell. AND TO MAKE IT ALL BETTER all the other women were talking about how they "just can't stop eating!!1!1" and "I'm totally bingeing hehee!" Please stop talking. Most of these people are at least twice my size and can't seem to correlate fatty foods = fatty body. I feel like garbage by osmosis and I didn't even eat anything. Gag me with a spoon.

[Discussion] ED book list on Goodreads. Please add your favorites!
/u/c_marier [5'6"| 113.4| 18.3 | -13 | 22F]
Created: Mon Oct 31 13:54:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aejpu/ed_book_list_on_goodreads_please_add_your/
---
https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/105107.Disordered_Eating

[Discussion] Motivational blogs?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 31 13:20:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aebxv/motivational_blogs/
---
[deleted]

[Meme/Humor] #edproblems
/u/concuidado [4'11 | 83 lbs | 17.8 | -62| F]
Created: Mon Oct 31 13:00:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ae77p/edproblems/
---
https://i.redd.it/tsg2ka7zxuux.png

[Help] Can anybody message me about differing eating habits in a relationship?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 31 12:51:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ae5ds/can_anybody_message_me_about_differing_eating/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] Fasting for a month?
/u/ForeverEmptyInside [5'9"| CW:115 lbs | BMI 17 | LW:104lbs | M]
Created: Mon Oct 31 12:29:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ae0en/fasting_for_a_month/
---
I fasted for a week in September,

I then fasted for 10 days in October.

I spend every waking moment of my life feeling depressed & like my life is spiraling out of control and I HATE it. Years have passed any nothing changes.

The only way I can suppress this feeling is through fasting now a days.

I think I'm going to do this.

If I die, at least I'll be skinny.

[Rant/Rave] Tastemade videos
/u/c_marier [5'6"| 113.4| 18.3 | -13 | 22F]
Created: Mon Oct 31 12:09:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5advsx/tastemade_videos/
---
Anyone else watch these with this weird mix of fascination and absolute horror? Like who the actual fuck actually eats any of these without dying of diabetes mid-bite? The videos are literally "what unhealthy shit can we mix together and then bake and convince people to drool over?"

For real. They're just like

* DEEP FRIED OREOS

* BUT WAIT

* NOW WE BLEND THEM

* WITH DOUBLE-FAT PUDDING

* AND MIX WITH ROCKY ROAD ICE CREAM

* BAKE FOR 18 MINUTES ON A BED OF SMASHED CHOCOLATE COVERED CHERRIES

* MARINATE IN CARAMEL MELTED WITH HEAVY CREAM

* SKEWER WITH BACON SPEARS

* POUR OVER BREADED PICKLES

* BLEND IN A SMOOTHIE WITH FUNNEL CAKE AND SWEETENED CONDENSED MILK

* BATHE IN IT

* DIE OF SHAME

Ick. The videos absolutely disgust me, but I can't stop watching lol

[Other] Seems like Halloween festivities got the best of many of us, here's one of my favorite quotes to keep me from getting too down :) Even he had those days
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 31 12:05:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aduww/seems_like_halloween_festivities_got_the_best_of/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/c9d13f2bea614239944ce4d5055d8405?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=b711e16688483db03585a043a9263b36

[Other] Seems like Halloween festivities got the best of many of us, here's one of my favorite quotes to keep me from getting too down on myself :)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 31 12:01:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5adtv9/seems_like_halloween_festivities_got_the_best_of/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Why does this happen?
/u/TfwScreechingCheeses
Created: Mon Oct 31 11:28:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5admgs/why_does_this_happen/
---
I did a very long fast ended by being with my boyfriend all weekend. In all I lost about 5-6lbs. I was still careful to stay below 2000 calories on Saturday (my TDEE is around 2200) and 1200 calories on Sunday.

Even after going to the washroom, my weight this morning was all the way back where I started. It can't be possible to have gained so much weight when I didn't even go over my TDEE either day. Where is this weight coming from? It's making me fast again which I know isn't good at all because I've fasted about 1/2 of this month.

[Discussion] What do you do to "recover" after a binge?
/u/concuidado [4'11 | 83 lbs | 17.8 | -62| F]
Created: Mon Oct 31 11:10:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5adig1/what_do_you_do_to_recover_after_a_binge/
---
I had my first binge night in over a year last night and my stomach is killing me. I stepped on the scale this morning and it said I was 5 pounds heavier but I know it has to be water weight or something bc 5 pounds is impossible to gain from what I ate.

What do you guys do to get back to normal after a big binge? Do you fast the next day? Also how long does it take you to get back to your prebinge/normal weight?

[Rant/Rave] WHEN WILL I DIE
/u/ikillsouls [5' 2" | 106 | 19.4 | Ugw: 85 |19f]
Created: Mon Oct 31 10:07:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ad3xm/when_will_i_die/
---
i really hate myself. i dressed up un what i thought was a really cute outfit today. my oversized t shirt tucked into first pair of size zero boyfriend jeans. I felt so good because i knew i would get to see the boy i like today.

welp i saw him. he showed up to the school cafe that im sitting in... with a girl... a teeny tiny girl.... probably shorter than me and definetely thinner.... probably around 90 pounds.... so definitely small... and pretty, so fucking pretty

he still came up and said hi to me but all i could think about was how suddenly bloated i feel and the 100 cal coffee i was drinking bc im "treating myself" becasue im not eating today and how these jeans are probably vanity sized as shit anyways and this shirt is only oversized becasue its in a mens size and my hair doesnt look good in any way with such a round face like mine

im so self concious i feel like shit i want the earth to fucking swallow and suffocate me. im such an awful person, i just want to fast until i am nothing


**Edit: omg y'all are amazing thank you for being nice at my overreactions.**

[Discussion] [Discussion] DAE struggle with wanting to be thin and wanting to be strong?
/u/PepsiMakSe
Created: Mon Oct 31 09:46:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aczdq/discussion_dae_struggle_with_wanting_to_be_thin/
---
In case my Q is a bit confusing - I struggle all the time with wanting to be this super feminine fragile little thing and then wanting to be this kickboxing fit kickass-don't mess with me- kind if girl. Both goals drive me to lose weight. But some days I'm just repulsed by food and I HAVE to eat my proteins or else I'll be weak. Idk why my mind can't choose what it wants more, I doubt I can be both of these but I always lean on the thinspo side then on the fitspo... I might have made this even more confusing now lol I'd like to know what you girls and guys think about this? What does your mental goal weight look/feel like?

[Rant/Rave] Just an update
/u/FattTea [Height 5'4"| CW 185.4 (SW 215.0) | Weight Lost -29.6| F|]
Created: Mon Oct 31 09:30:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5acvt1/just_an_update/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] I got through a children's birthday party!
/u/ananewsom
Created: Mon Oct 31 09:26:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5acuvp/i_got_through_a_childrens_birthday_party/
---
Yesterday I was at my brother's daughters 2nd birthday (yay) and I was so scared of people looking at me and at how little I would be eating.

When I got there I ate the bare minimum of food for people not to notice. When they ate 4 buns, I ate 1. When they ate cake, I was drinking coffee. When they had 4 portions of gullasch I filled one with chili and after I'd eating it I said that I couldn't eat more because my mouth was on fire.

I got back home and weighed myself and had gained no weight! I'm so proud of myself :D

[Rant/Rave] #Rant/Rave Why did I do this to myself??
/u/Gabi_Cat [5'5" | CW:125 | BMI: 20.7 | -75 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Oct 31 09:17:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5act0a/rantrave_why_did_i_do_this_to_myself/
---
On Saturday I was heading back down to my LW so far (121 lbs) and after a party night of drinking and a day of EATING SO MANY CARBS AND SUGAR (mostly candy...) I now weigh 126... I'm freaking out. How much of this is actual weight gain..?? I weigh myself every day and usually never go up or down any more than a pound. But five pounds... it feels like 25 lbs. This week (my birthday is in a week exactly) I WILL work out every day and stick to 900-1000 cals a day... I just can't go back to gaining. I can't.

[Rant/Rave] Omg yall I was doing pretty good!
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 105 | 17.68 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 31 09:15:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5acsny/omg_yall_i_was_doing_pretty_good/
---
And ive binges 3 days in a row. And not just a light binge. A fucking whole loaf of pumpkin bread in one sitting on top of eating 2 full meals binge. I am so not looking forward to the scale or the horrible shit this is going to result in. I feel so basty. Fuck alcoholism. AND fuck stress eating. 😢😢😢😢

[Thinspo] [thinspo] happy halloween! may we all become spooky skeletons 💀
/u/k-w- [5'5 | CW 95 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 31 09:06:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5acqmr/thinspo_happy_halloween_may_we_all_become_spooky/
---
http://imgur.com/TcTqL89

[Rant/Rave] "If you were anorexic, you could be Yzma!" (For halloween)
/u/bigeyessmallthighs
Created: Mon Oct 31 09:01:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5acpig/if_you_were_anorexic_you_could_be_yzma_for/
---
Said by my FWB after I did an impression of her. Our friend in the back seat: "Jesus, [his name]....."

Thanks.

Oddly, who I ended up being for Halloween was a bit obscure but luckily she had a nametag. A fat girl I didn't know at the party read it a few times and then said "Ooh I thought it said 'bulimic!'". To which my FWB said "haha yeah just need to loose a ton of weight first."

He didn't mean anything by it, just thinks I'm on a diet so guess I've been hiding things well enough.

[Other] pre-fast body check! 10/31/16 - 5'7 - 117?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 31 08:17:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5acgnf/prefast_body_check_103116_57_117/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/2eb15d718b5f41f6816618293794fe60?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=210f23351841f51204254693288424a5

[Discussion] Who else wants to make daily binge-free accountability posts a thing?
/u/whiimsii
Created: Mon Oct 31 08:12:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5acfng/who_else_wants_to_make_daily_bingefree/
---
Hi all,

I didn't join in on the recent "binge free for a week" initiative but I just wanted to say I loved the idea and I thought it would be awesome to do the same type of daily accountability posts for more than just a week.

Personally, I'm planning on doing binge-free November and hopefully December as well (I'd love to end the year on a good note but we'll see about that).

IDK if anyone agrees but it's so much easier to stay on track with something when you've committed by telling other people you're gonna do it. I think it would be so helpful to so many people on here, especially those struggling with compulsive overeating/BED.

Who else wants to make daily binge free November posts a thing? Cause I'd totally join if they were a thing. Just saying.

[Rant/Rave] Feeling bad about drinking Diet Coke...
/u/sossox
Created: Mon Oct 31 06:29:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5abxr1/feeling_bad_about_drinking_diet_coke/
---
It's so dumb. But I feel like an absolute cow drinking it now. I know it's 0 calories and it's my favorite thing in the world to prevent a binge and ease my fasts, but a guy just made a comment about how unhealthy it is to me and I feel gross now. "It's your funeral" Fuck off.

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! October 31, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Oct 31 06:14:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5abvcq/weekly_stats_update_october_31_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for October 31, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

*****

Status threads are posted every Monday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 31, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Oct 31 06:13:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5abvc3/daily_food_diary_october_31_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 31, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Help] GF and food
/u/ar3s3ru
Created: Mon Oct 31 05:16:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5abno4/gf_and_food/
---
Hello guys!

I don't know if this is the right place where to post this, but I'll try anyway (eventually, I'll delete it).

So, my gf has a "kind of" eating disorder, that is:
she doesn't eat almost anything, just some selected meals like pasta with tomato sauce, pizza, chocolate, dairy products (a few of them, actually), breaded chicken, and that's all.

She told me of this habits before we were together, and I thought it wouldn't have been a big deal.

Well, it is.

We can't enjoy anything food-related together, sometimes we even fight *hard* about this.

Normally she acts like she doesn't care about her health, even though she knows that her habits are not healthy, at all. Then sometimes, when we fight hard about this, she tells me how she *want* to change, but can't.

We've been together now for 1 year and we spend a lot of time living together.

We don't live together, yet, but I would really like her to overcome this problem, with my help if necessary.

I must say, though, that _sometimes_ I managed to let her taste some fruit (apple, orange, ananas) and she was kind of disgusted by it (probably because she's not used to that taste).

And, more importantly, she's like this *since when she was 6 y.o.*

I'm actually kind of desperate right now, I tried anything I could think of and I don't know what to do next.

Can seem like an egoistic thing to do (trying to get her enjoy the food), but I'm worried about her health, especially in the upcoming years, when her metabolism is going down (she's not fat or skinnyas of today, actually).

Any suggestion?

Sorry for the long post guys, forgive me if I made some grammatical error, english is my second language :)

[Thinspo] I like drawing male thinspo, thought I'd share.
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Mon Oct 31 02:56:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ab8wn/i_like_drawing_male_thinspo_thought_id_share/
---
http://imgur.com/a/uO8MG

[Rant/Rave] I think I'm dying.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 31 02:37:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ab75n/i_think_im_dying/
---
[deleted]

[Other] An ED group chat. Sorry if this is not allowed.
/u/delicatedeer [5'2 | 100 | 17.8 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 31 02:14:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ab515/an_ed_group_chat_sorry_if_this_is_not_allowed/
---
https://i.redd.it/4i54tppsqrux.jpg

[Rant/Rave] Anxiety over thinspro
/u/zebra3stripes
Created: Mon Oct 31 02:11:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ab4rf/anxiety_over_thinspro/
---
Does anyone else get extreme anxiety looking at thinspro? I always think there is no way I can end up like that and have a mini panic attack.

[Discussion] halloween <3
/u/wyydean [5'3| CW125lb | GW100lb | F]
Created: Mon Oct 31 01:53:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5ab32z/halloween_3/
---
lets share our costumes? i know costumes are getting so elaborate! wanna see how this awesome sub is going for the holiday!

[Rant/Rave] took my measurements, very surprised!
/u/Edible_pain [5 foot 6 in| 133 | -over 100lbs| F]
Created: Mon Oct 31 00:46:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aawb1/took_my_measurements_very_surprised/
---
my under bust is 31 inches, smallest part of the waist is 27 inches, widest part of the hips is 37 inches. whoa! it sounds so tiny when i see it as numbers on the tape measure.

[Discussion] Anyone want to join me in a binge free week? Day 1
/u/goodvibeswanted2
Created: Mon Oct 31 00:05:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aarph/anyone_want_to_join_me_in_a_binge_free_week_day_1/
---
I just saw the last post of mmm_erythritol's 7 day pledge to not binge eat, and I was inspired. I want to pledge to not binge for seven days. You're all welcome to join me.

If you want to join, comment below to commit to a binge-free week! Also feel free to share any other goals you may have :) Together we can do this!

Perhaps this can become a regular thing on this sub.

What do you do to plug the hunger?
/u/LibraryLuLu [H165 | CW85 | WL47 | GF]
Created: Sun Oct 30 23:46:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aapiu/what_do_you_do_to_plug_the_hunger/
---
[removed]

[Help] Tremors and Light Headedness when I Fast
/u/starfishwishez [5'11" | 220 | 32.5 | -3lbs | GW: 170]
Created: Sun Oct 30 22:36:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aagn6/tremors_and_light_headedness_when_i_fast/
---
Whenever I fast, within a few hours my hands and legs tremor, I get a major, throbbing headache and I feel lightheaded. Does anyone else experience this?

[Goal] Starting now, at 12:30 am, I'm going to do a 24hr fast...
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 143.8 | 23.30 | -50ish | F]
Created: Sun Oct 30 22:31:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aafwe/starting_now_at_1230_am_im_going_to_do_a_24hr_fast/
---
...which is nothing for quite a few of you, but im also going to be using it as a base for another three days of sub 500 restriction. I lead quite an active life and fasting is nigh impossible. But i want and need to do this for myself.

Tea, water and coffee will be allowed.

I want to clean out my body and my mind

[Discussion] Some things I can't understand about my mind as it relates to food... Anyone else in the same boat?
/u/epasternack [5'7" | CW 127 | GW 120 | BMI 19.9 | -33lbs | 22 F]
Created: Sun Oct 30 22:05:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aac62/some_things_i_cant_understand_about_my_mind_as_it/
---
I've been thinking a lot about myself in relation to other people lately, and I have developed a bunch of questions which are a dead-end for me. Anyone have insight or shared experiences? Here's the list:

1) Do non-ED people think about food all the time? Are they constantly planning their next meals? Is food always on their minds?


2) ~~Do I really have an ED?~~ I constantly doubt the fact that my eating habits aren't typical. *Do I even have the right to call myself someone with an ED* if I'm not exhibiting the most intense behaviors that are commonly associated with the ED stereotype?


3) Why do I still hate my body? I feel the same as I did 30 lbs ago... is it because I haven't reached my goal, or is it because there's something inherently wrong with my shape?


4) Will I ever achieve my goal? Is it possible for me to like the way I look?


5) Do non-ED people have fat days? Do they feel dissatisfied with their physical forms? Is it even something on their minds? Do they look in the mirror and know what to expect?

I feel like looking in the mirror is a toss up. I worry about the imperfections of the glass causing me to look thinner or thicker than I am. I am always thinking about food, always. I feel bad because I don't fast or restrict to under 500 calories a day. I feel both inadequate in my existing self, but inadequate in my "attempts" at an ED. I feel like a poser even though I've hated my body since I was a tiny child.


Sigh. Sometimes I just don't know what to think!!


Thanks for reading.

TL;DR life is strange

Edited to reflect mod suggestion

[Rant/Rave] Dehydrated from drinking all day again
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 30 21:39:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aa8e2/dehydrated_from_drinking_all_day_again/
---
[deleted]

[Help] How to not fuck it up? (My first date)
/u/Golden-Guns [5' 7" | 158 | BMI: 25 | -35 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 30 21:19:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aa5g6/how_to_not_fuck_it_up_my_first_date/
---
[removed]

[Tip] Sometimes body dysmorphia cripples me from the time I wake up. The distortions are scary & overwhelming. Press on & take pics but view them LATER to keep the dysmorphia in check<3
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 30 21:09:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5aa3uw/sometimes_body_dysmorphia_cripples_me_from_the/
---
http://i.imgur.com/PB7TUWP.jpg

[Help] Mental Focus Issues?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 30 20:45:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a9zz0/mental_focus_issues/
---
[deleted]

How long was it till you saw progress through restriction?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 30 20:45:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a9zvv/how_long_was_it_till_you_saw_progress_through/
---
[removed]

[Thinspo] yumi lambert is my new obession
/u/wearebulletproof [5'4 | fat | 20F🎀✨]
Created: Sun Oct 30 20:17:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a9v9r/yumi_lambert_is_my_new_obession/
---
http://imgur.com/a/T0EAE

[Rant/Rave] Fuck me
/u/kickkkasss [5'5 | CW:134 | GW:110 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 30 19:25:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a9mdy/fuck_me/
---
So I've been hanging out with this guy for a few weeks now and he knows I've lost weight because it's noticeable on my Instagram pics. So we were laying in my bed naked and I made an off hand comment about how im going to start lifting weights when he fucking grabs my stomach and says yeah you could lose a little more. That comment triggered a fucking binge and now I hate myself even more. Fuck him.

[Thinspo] Reverse Thinspo TV MBFFL
/u/hazelconner [5'4" | 174.5 | 33.2% BF | -15.5 | X/F]
Created: Sun Oct 30 18:46:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a9fov/reverse_thinspo_tv_mbffl/
---
Does anyone else watch tv shows like:
My 600 lb life
Supersize vs Superskinny
My Big Fat Fabulous Life
As reverse Thinspo?
Like it's a reminder of what I don't want to be and I could be if I lost control.

I'm watching WWT struggle through a 5k and whining about it. Like... that's a normal cardio workout for me.

[Help] whats more likely: a scale adding weight or a scale detecting less weight?
/u/leatherhoff [5"3 | TOO MUCH | ftm]
Created: Sun Oct 30 18:23:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a9boc/whats_more_likely_a_scale_adding_weight_or_a/
---
theres two scales in my house, one upstairs and one downstairs. i usually use the one upstairs, thats the weight i go by for my flair and the weight i go by in general. but the scale downstairs shows a weight thats about 2-3lbs lighter and im not sure which to believe? the one i usually use doesnt seem to detect weight until a few pounds are on it (ive tried this by putting shampoo bottles on it) which just makes things even more confusing. i should probably put them side by side and compare them but i think the battery in the one i usually use is dying so im gonna need to get a new one asap because otherwise i cant weigh myself accurately ahahahah

anyway i just wanted to ask which one you guys think is more likely to actually be right? i think its safer to assume the heavier one is right but maybe the scale thats lighter is more accurate? anyone else got any personal experience with this sort of thing?

[Other] WTF, ED perception? The mirror says I'm WAY too fat to be Rey; the picture says I'm at least as skinny. o.O
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 30 16:30:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a8qtk/wtf_ed_perception_the_mirror_says_im_way_too_fat/
---
https://i.redd.it/d09y65m1uoux.jpg

[Other] things i am happy i can do now
/u/hayleystark [5'4"|NB]
Created: Sun Oct 30 16:02:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a8le7/things_i_am_happy_i_can_do_now/
---
[removed]

[Help] Defeatist Attitude
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64" | 119# | 20.9 BMI | -104# | F]
Created: Sun Oct 30 15:58:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a8kn9/defeatist_attitude/
---
I've been on a binge restrict rollercoaster lately. It's hard to maintain the mindset for restriction because of all the stupid holidays. I feel like whatever progress I make will be ruined so why bother.

I've gained three lbs since I updated my flair. :( I just have this stupid fucking doom and gloom defeatist attitude that is ruining everything. Guess I'm just looking for words of encouragement. I find it hard to care about anything other than not explicitly gaining. Which of course I've fucking failed at. But 3# is surmountable. I just need to fix my thinking. I need to be strict again. But I'm so terrified of coworkers noticing and losing my job. I'm already fucking weird, them knowing I am also crazy on top of weird would not end well.

I also feel like I am self sabotaging. I was five fucking lbs from goal weight #1 when I started eating more. Five. Pounds. That piece of shit inside of me will never let me just have the things I want. I can reason with shitty thoughts. But shitty compulsions like eating? There's no conversation to have. No inner mono/dialogue to manipulate. Just compulsion and execution.

I hate this fucking season. It's the season of death, fat, shivering, and hibernation. Oh yeah, and holiday festivities too. Great.

[Thinspo] Thinspo (with some reverse thinspo thrown in)
/u/w-a-m-s
Created: Sun Oct 30 15:55:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a8jxl/thinspo_with_some_reverse_thinspo_thrown_in/
---
https://imgur.com/a/7km5y

[Rant/Rave] My mom heard me purge.
/u/raspberryfleur [5'6 (finally properly measured) | 130 | 21.0 | -30 | Female]
Created: Sun Oct 30 15:51:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a8j9d/my_mom_heard_me_purge/
---
She heard me in the washroom. I told her that I ate a slice of pizza too fast (this is true) and that I felt sick to the point of puking.

Then she asked me about my binge cupboard and if I was binge eating. I honestly don't. I just hoard food. I eat a little of my stash, nothing major.

I was so embarassed. She just got angry with me, asked me where my "diet" pills were and how I lost so much weight so fast. So, I honestly told her that I just ate less.

Oh god now she's probably on my back now. And I have dinner and dessert to eat soon too. I feel like I'm going to cry. Im going to HAVE to eat the gross, fatty meal. I won't get to 129 pounds by the end of the month. And I can't even purge it. Fuck I feel like I'm going to die.

Mobile no flair sorry

[Help] Being Mobbed at Work by Fat CoWorker
/u/eboneezah [169| Fat Cow | Not Yet There]
Created: Sun Oct 30 15:50:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a8j2f/being_mobbed_at_work_by_fat_coworker/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Anyone want to join me in committing to a binge-free week DAY SEVEN
/u/mmm_erythritol
Created: Sun Oct 30 15:28:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a8ewg/anyone_want_to_join_me_in_committing_to_a/
---

It's the end! Last day of the binge-free week here we gooooo
Calling all who have promised to be BINGE FREE:

/u/ToffeeCup

/u/infinitegoldstyle

/u/shortchair

/u/neveraunicorn

/u/possiblycurious

/u/UnrequitedOrgasms

/u/InSkyLimitEra

/u/gastastic

/u/alliwantistogiveup

/u/somanyjellyrolls

/u/stormyeyed94

/u/enjupoint

/u/Kishin_

/u/lymfp

/u/What_u_callme

/u/Moonlight_bae

/u/neuro-fuzzy

/u/fckk

/u/qwertyldn

/u/throwaway0908123

/u/capture_the_excite

/u/mailmesnails

/u/fringeandbinge

/u/RetailSlaveNo1

/u/IAMABaguetteAMA

/u/tattoo987654321

/u/frameworkautoco

/u/chelowelXo

/u/DontMindMeJustBingin

/u/whyaremysockswet

/u/reggiesan

/u/Phantomsgf

/u/Hummingpenguin

/u/aerienne

/u/bannaberry

/u/DieMikrowelle

/u/takingheatfromthesun

/u/-kaneki-ken-

/u/SanguineSmiles

/u/mermaid_puppy

/u/K_iwi

/u/theraindropsx46

/u/WhyRedTape

/u/leatherhoff

/u/goddamnroommate

/u/dnedna

/u/capture_the_excite

/u/whatupmyknitta

/u/b00mshaka

/u/LilyPernille

/u/TummyRumblz


**Please check in and discuss:**

**How did day six go? Did you accomplish your goals?**

**How are you feeling on the last day?**

**What do you plan to do once the week is over? Keep the streak going? Have a planned binge for Halloween?**

Hope everyone has a great day <3 thanks again to all who have participated.

Some have expressed that they would like to keep something like this going; unfortunately I can't take another week to spend as much time on reddit as I have this week, but if anyone wants to take over and do week two I would love that :))

[Help] How to fix faintness/greyouts without eating more?
/u/niahviv [5'6' | 133.5 | 21.63 | -11.5 |]
Created: Sun Oct 30 14:54:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a88dh/how_to_fix_faintnessgreyouts_without_eating_more/
---
Hi, recently I've been running a little more (15mi/week), and I've been noticing that when I've been jogging, cleaning, or doing any sort of physical activity I start getting faint and losing my vision. I'll either have to close my eyes and get close to the floor or sit down entirely. Do you guys know why this is happening?? Could it be a dehydration/vitamin issue or is it because I'm not eating enough? If it is because of food, is there any way I can help my greyouts without eating more?

Thanks for any help!!

[Discussion] Binged so much the last few weeks, not sure how to pull myself out of it.
/u/toxic-bats
Created: Sun Oct 30 14:44:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a869y/binged_so_much_the_last_few_weeks_not_sure_how_to/
---
I've been binging a lot lately, and I'm having problems trying to pull myself out of it. It doesn't help that my boyfriend just buys/makes food without asking, and sometimes it's really greasy and fattening. And he knows I want to lose weight too. I'm going to try and really restrict my calories this week, but it's going to be hard.

[Other] Found some relatability in "The Heathers"
/u/Saltycook [5'4"| 127# |21.8| -36# | Female]
Created: Sun Oct 30 13:30:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a7rwf/found_some_relatability_in_the_heathers/
---
Spoilers if you've never seen it.


I was sick in bed a couple days this well and finally got around to watching this movie, dunno why I waited so long. Although I'm a few years out of high school, there were a couple characters who I could relate to. Martha, a morbidly obese, lonely girl who is the subject of the popular kid's disdain and bullying reminded me of how I was in middle school. The brunette Heather is often commented on her eating habits and bulimia, which she forgoes after the first Heather' s death.


The way these girls react to peer pressure was actually really, well not accurate, but at least relatable.


Weird, but really good movie, (and omg young Christian Slater.)

[Discussion] Anyone else get piercings just so you have a reason to get smaller so it looks better?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 30 12:40:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a7id6/anyone_else_get_piercings_just_so_you_have_a/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/046e2047224a4268892b44923cc21f0b?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=c3e4697ab1480798fd44e1a750feed77

[Goal] I was a bunny gram! Super happy with my collarbones from last night.
/u/CowOffTheFarm [65" | 145 | 24.41 | - | F | GW 120]
Created: Sun Oct 30 12:30:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a7ged/i_was_a_bunny_gram_super_happy_with_my/
---
http://imgur.com/a/Jm5nz

[Rant/Rave] Grandmas house
/u/zebra3stripes
Created: Sun Oct 30 11:18:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a72d2/grandmas_house/
---
Every Sunday I go over to my grandparents to visit with them. My grandma always makes a super unhealthy lunch and by the time I leave I'm up to 1000 calories. I hate eating over there so much. I try to put small amounts of everything on my plate, but she'll sit there and push more food onto my plate.

Does anyone else have to deal with this?
I love my grandma, but I hate her food.

(I have purged food before off and on for 7 ish years. Now it's really hard for me to purge in a timely manner and I don't want to be held up in the bathroom for 20 minutes :( )



She also pulls out a giant cake at the end and cuts the slices. If I don't eat if all she looks like her feelings are hurt. Usually I have half and put the rest of my bfs plate when she isn't paying attention.

I wish my eating could go unnoticed :) it's so much easier when it's just me. When I'm in class/work/home alone I have so much control.

I love waiting until 2 or later to have some lunch and then eating dinner late



Mobile no /flair

[Rant/Rave] I hit my first big goal weight! I haven't been this size in about 2 years!!
/u/invisible_lizz [5' | 118.4 | BMI:23 l GW 90| -25.6 l F]
Created: Sun Oct 30 10:55:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a6xxj/i_hit_my_first_big_goal_weight_i_havent_been_this/
---
Seriously you guys, even with hardly eating, staying under 130 is fucking **HARD** when you drink as much alcohol as I do. Not only have I maintained under 130 for a few months now, I'm finally losing!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so flippin excited I wanna tell the world. Although I shouldn't because I'm still at a high bmi for my size. :( Anyways, I've been very good about logging everything and staying way under my cal goals (yesterday I fasted successfully for the first time in a whiiiiiile, and I abstained from drinking!) and when I got on the scale today, it was 125!!

**125!!** I know that it's really not a big deal to a lot of you, but I was feeling like the scale would never budge and I'd always be fat. There is hope for me! Next goal is 120. Wish me luck!

[Rant/Rave] Friend said "good for you" when he overheard me worrying about calories.
/u/superfuckingsecret [5'10" | 113.8 | 16. 06| non-binary]
Created: Sun Oct 30 10:51:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a6x9q/friend_said_good_for_you_when_he_overheard_me/
---
I was in my friend's dorm room last night pre-gaming, and they were trying to get me a mixed drink. I was kinda discreetly looking at labels and I told my friend (who knows about my ed) I don't think I can have 120 calories of mixer, I'm just going to take a shot. From across the room my other friend, who I didn't know was listening said "good for you, Superfuckingsecret!"

I'm the same size as people who people say are "wasting away" or "really thin". I weigh 117 at 5'10" but I still look like a fatass and people are still trying to get me to lose more weight. I'm going to fast until someone makes me eat.

[Help] how long until your body gets our of starvation mode?
/u/behindthearmory
Created: Sun Oct 30 09:24:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a6hw3/how_long_until_your_body_gets_our_of_starvation/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] I only binge if I smoke weed
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 30 07:45:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a626s/i_only_binge_if_i_smoke_weed/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] WARNING: poop talk
/u/P0Pkornsoup
Created: Sun Oct 30 07:19:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a5yuo/warning_poop_talk/
---
Well ain't this some shit. Two days ago I ate a while bag of almonds. Only that bag of almonds, but way too many almonds nonetheless. Today, I finally pooped but it's so sticky that it's not flushing.


Shit. It doesn't wanna budge. I've flushed like 8 times and my roommates gonna wonder wtf is going on in here.


I can't lose the weight even when it's physically left my body. Lmao kill me

[Thinspo] Thinspo: Melissa Ambrosini
/u/hunterxgreen [5'4'' | too much | ditto | -22 | F | ]
Created: Sun Oct 30 06:54:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a5vny/thinspo_melissa_ambrosini/
---
https://imgur.com/gallery/qXeBb

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 30, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Oct 30 06:09:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a5qdg/daily_food_diary_october_30_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 30, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Help] Struggle bus - anxiety of committing to maintenance vs losing
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Sun Oct 30 04:25:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a5ggp/struggle_bus_anxiety_of_committing_to_maintenance/
---
First off, holy crap!! It's now been 14 days since my last chew and spit binge. My new technique is to work as late as possible Friday so I'm too tired to go shopping but I also haven't had urges.

Anyway to the point. I've been maintaining well for months. Not in a healthy way but in a way - restrict heavily all week then play catch up on the weekends which while albeit disordered has been working. When I was sick a few weeks ago I said screw iy and just ate to my hunger since I was ravenous after getting better. I did the whole "oh pretend it's vacation you never take a vacation and you're eating what you consider 'clean' foods, cottage cheese and chicken even if eating way over maintenance won't cause weight gain and if so it'll be temporary." So that was done and now I'm back to usual and seriously restricted so I could lose lb this week even while overeating today as usual but I'm mentally struggling.

I've been so good at at least staying at maintenance and not sliding down my old slope of way too easy restricting and weight loss but then it's like ok maybe a few lbs less would be good. But no maintain. I'm not as small as many here but I'm an athlete which now helps me fight serious restriction urges. Then I think, you're just making excuses so you can eat more today. The competing thoughts have done a number on my mental health this weekend. I'm just so down feeling locked.

How do you deal with the ambivalence of trying to stay where you are and not go to the bad place you know you can go to and accept maintenance and a "healthy" body vs ooh maybe a few lbs?

[Help] Seriously considering suicide over a weight related comment.
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 180 | -70 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 30 01:07:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a4zkm/seriously_considering_suicide_over_a_weight/
---
I know it's stupid. I know it's illogical. I think it's the dumbest thing that has ever pushed me over the edge. But no matter how much I tell myself it's stupid I can't get it out if my head.

I'm falling asleep. I hope I feel better in the morning :/

[Rant/Rave] Can I just rant about being a balloon for halloween
/u/zoeglowey [5'2" | 104 | BMI 19 | - 23 | Female]
Created: Sun Oct 30 00:50:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a4xx2/can_i_just_rant_about_being_a_balloon_for/
---
A couple weeks ago I posted about having a cyst in my ovary. Well, a few days ago, I got it surgically removed which is exciting because it won't cause me pain anymore, but I look HUGE because of the post surgical swelling. Like absolutely massive and I hate it. I look disgusting. And the guy I'm seeing is out having drinks with his gorgeous coworker and they're celebrating halloween and isn't that cute. I'm having such a hard time texting him about it because I'm so jealous that I'm stuck in pain and looking like a fucking whale while everyone else gets to look really cute for my favorite holiday and dress up and drink. I HATE IT.

[Rant/Rave] I'm so embarrassed and just want to die
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 180 | -70 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 29 22:46:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a4klp/im_so_embarrassed_and_just_want_to_die/
---
So I was fucking around on the internet and found some extremely unflattering nudes of an obese lady (really bad lighting and clearly self shot on a phone). I showed my BF (I love showing him where hitting random leads me) and he goes "are those yours?"

This lady had to be 100 lb heavier than me at my highest weight. I just want to cry, vomit, and not eat til new years.

[Rant/Rave] Whatever....
/u/xtabbithax
Created: Sat Oct 29 20:09:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a3zd1/whatever/
---
I got congratulated for being pregnant today. Last week, I was happy because I had lost 5 pounds, and this week, I resemble a pregnant woman. Not that I have anything against pregnant women, but..... now I kind of want to die. :( I thought I was doing well. My pants are loose and I am down some weight and Ive been working so hard!!!! Wtf happened????

[Meme/Humor] Well...yes. But not in the way you think.
/u/invisible_lizz [5' | 118.4 | BMI:23 l GW 90| -25.6 l F]
Created: Sat Oct 29 20:07:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a3z3d/wellyes_but_not_in_the_way_you_think/
---
http://imgur.com/ZsesRcv

[Help] Fasting Help (esp. with regard to binge tendencies)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 29 19:38:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a3uvf/fasting_help_esp_with_regard_to_binge_tendencies/
---
[deleted]

[Help] does ABC diet and other diets below 500 calories permanently damage metabolism?
/u/hunterxgreen [5'4'' | too much | ditto | -22 | F | ]
Created: Sat Oct 29 18:58:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a3owq/does_abc_diet_and_other_diets_below_500_calories/
---
[removed]

[Thinspo] Susan Peters circa~1943
/u/NoiDontWannaTalk [6'0 | 142 | 19.2 | Lost: 15lbs| Male]
Created: Sat Oct 29 18:53:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a3o7k/susan_peters_circa1943/
---
http://imgur.com/IvQZVX6

[Other] TabbyCats.Club chrome extension subreddit
/u/k-w- [5'5 | CW 95 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 29 18:52:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a3o1b/tabbycatsclub_chrome_extension_subreddit/
---
Soooo a few days ago someone on this subreddit linked to a cat they found with the TabbyCats.club chrome extension and I thought, I *need* this. I got the extension and I find all these lovely cats but there's nowhere to share them!

I just impulsively made /r/TabbyCatsClub since it didn't exist and I know it's super niche but I thought I'd share it here since there are at least some people on this sub who use it! Sorry to be completely off topic though haha.

[Help] Back after an unintentional hiatus
/u/salamanderqueen [5'9"| CW: 149 | SW: 180 | GW: 120 | -31 | 19F]
Created: Sat Oct 29 18:23:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a3jer/back_after_an_unintentional_hiatus/
---
I started dating this guy a few weeks ago, and he makes me so happy. Which is fantastic, and I'm really into him. But my diet has been out of control since we started dating. All of my self-control went out the window, and I've been binging pretty much every day. SOMEHOW I haven't gained more than 2 pounds, but I'm still freaking out over that gain of course. SO my question is, how do you balance having a boyfriend and an eating disorder? What are some date ideas that don't involve food? At what point, if at all, did you tell your SO about your ED?

[Rant/Rave] Fuckin hell, I can't even eat a tiny cookie without wanting to puke. 75 calories for a bloody oreo...
/u/KajaIsForeverAlone [height:5'9 | CW: 147 BMI:21 | weight lost:15 lbs | Gender: F]
Created: Sat Oct 29 17:18:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a38zf/fuckin_hell_i_cant_even_eat_a_tiny_cookie_without/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/29f657a2f1f049c3b078b0c0f599d8b7?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=2e0f4eca6f169e8a398cdaf49a9d876f

[Discussion] So I have Binge Eating Disorder
/u/starfishwishez [5'11" | 220 | 32.5 | -3lbs | GW: 170]
Created: Sat Oct 29 17:03:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a36n5/so_i_have_binge_eating_disorder/
---
My step-mother used to starve me. I used to bargain and beg my sisters to share their food with me. Whenever I got it, I'd hide in the bathroom and scarf it down. Since I left home at 17, the bingeing began. I was 120 lbs 6'. Now I'm 22, 223 lbs and counting. I have stretchmarks all over my legs and arms. My face doesn't even look like my own. I have PTSD and BPD as well and I panic when I go hungry even for an hour. I hate myself. I feel like a monster. I eat to the point I am in pain, and somehow get back at it again. And I can't simply stop. My hands and legs tremor- my head spins and I can't turn away food. Is there anyone who understands what I am going through? :(

I got a job at Little Caesar's.
/u/BlackGirlSteeze
Created: Sat Oct 29 16:41:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a332b/i_got_a_job_at_little_caesars/
---
[removed]

[Meme/Humor] "Sorry guys I can go out to eat tonight I have a big dinner planned"
/u/FUCKuNSALTEDcROUTONS
Created: Sat Oct 29 16:40:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a32tb/sorry_guys_i_can_go_out_to_eat_tonight_i_have_a/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/82dc9da9936242bb901efe2f39144b32?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=6d8e984cfa5859b57fbced8180982d20

[Discussion] I don't really know what to title this
/u/leatherhoff [5"3 | TOO MUCH | ftm]
Created: Sat Oct 29 16:25:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a305p/i_dont_really_know_what_to_title_this/
---
Do you ever get when you're binging and you like don't feel real or whatever
I dunno I feel kinda almost dizzzy I don't know if its ED related speicifcally but I don't really know where else to talk about this sorry also I binged again today aha I am bad

[Goal] No-purge November...
/u/FeedMeDreams [5'5" | 64.4kg | 23.7 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 29 16:08:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a2x2d/nopurge_november/
---
Posting this here so that I can't 'forget' that I committed to it. My problem is actually bingeing - if I didn't binge, I wouldn't have to purge - but the fact that I *can* purge means I talk myself into bingeing way too often, because 'I can just undo it all later' (protip: it doesn't work like that).

Anyway, I'm fucking terrified. It's been 5 years and I'm so tired of being fat and out of control and spending all my money on shitty food that I hide from everyone. But I try to imagine my life without it, and just draw a blank. Bulimia is not as glamorous as I used to believe. I can live without it for a month.

[Discussion] is anybody else terrified by fatlogic?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 29 15:54:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a2uma/is_anybody_else_terrified_by_fatlogic/
---
I know so many people who are full of fatlogic and it's so scary.....the worst oneive I've heard is "fat people don't eat too much, they have bad bacteria in their stomachs that extract more calories from food". when I heard that I had a panic attack and cried in the bathroom. anything that implies being fat can't be helped terrifies me, because it means I might not be able to control my weight. I know fatlogic is ridiculous but the ED part of my brain freaks out when I hear it :( sorry for for the rant! I'm rambling on.

[Rant/Rave] Coworker said I was "wasting away"..
/u/frailraven [5'10 | CW 117 | LW 115 | F20]
Created: Sat Oct 29 14:48:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a2j84/coworker_said_i_was_wasting_away/
---
God, my heart dropped when she said that. Everyone in my office looked at me too and her comment obviously made everyone else in the office uncomfortable.

Work is such a trigger for me. I can see my coworkers staring at my body and my boss recently asked if I was okay.

I know it's fucked up, but it makes me feel good...

[Help] I am having my first eating disorder physical next week and don't know what to expect. Has anyone had one before?
/u/bridget-corinne
Created: Sat Oct 29 14:20:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a2ed8/i_am_having_my_first_eating_disorder_physical/
---
I have been seeing a therapist for depression/anxiety concerns for about 2.5 years now. My therapist is an ED specialist, and I think she has been noticing for a while now signs that I may be struggling with an ED. Last week she did an eating disorder assessment on me in my appointment and told me that I meet diagnostic criteria for an eating disorder, probably some form of EDNOS. She said that in order for me to keep seeing her it is a policy that I attend an eating disorder physical exam with a doctor over in the health services department.

I was really upset and angry with her for making me do all this and honestly I am still totally in denial that I have any kind of eating disorder. I honestly do not believe that I do. I do have really poor body image and am pretty obsessive about calorie counting, but lately my calorie intake has mostly only been really low because my depression/anxiety has been so bad that I completely lost my appetite, can't keep food down, and throw up every morning and sometimes after I eat just because I feel nauseous from my anxiety. So I'm frustrated that I need to attend this appointment but I don't want to lose my therapist so I guess I have to.

Have any of you attended an eating disorder physical before and know what to expect? I am pretty anxious about it. I haven't been to a doctor for about 8 years now and I'm just nervous because I don't know what it will be like. Thank you :)

[Help] How long before dinner should I stack?
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64" | 119# | 20.9 BMI | -104# | F]
Created: Sat Oct 29 14:19:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a2e8x/how_long_before_dinner_should_i_stack/
---
I know most meds take 25-45 minutes to kick in, but I'm wondering at what point the effect would really be noticeable.

How early do you take your stacks when you know you're going to be drinking all night and surrounded with horrible food with drunkenly inhibited impulse control? I know it's going to end in a shitshow (always does if I drink...eh...) But I'd like to delay the shitshow for as long as possible.

[Rant/Rave] stupid halloween party
/u/salt_skin [5'4" | CW 134lbs | BMI 23.45 | GW 90 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Oct 29 14:18:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a2e0g/stupid_halloween_party/
---
i look forward to a particular halloween party every year. this year i finally had a cute costume and everything, but instead of having fun, i just had my self-hatred completely validated by being rejected by everyone i approached and witnessing a person i was interested in hit on my best friend. i just felt like an unattractive blob the entire night. so how do i respond? by binging until i feel ill. i hate myself so much.

[Goal] Anyone want to joint me in committing to a binge-free week DAY SIX
/u/mmm_erythritol
Created: Sat Oct 29 14:17:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a2dur/anyone_want_to_joint_me_in_committing_to_a/
---
Hey all! The week is almost over! Let's all finish it strong through the weekend!!

Calling all who have promised to be BINGE FREE:

/u/ToffeeCup

/u/infinitegoldstyle

/u/shortchair

/u/neveraunicorn

/u/possiblycurious

/u/UnrequitedOrgasms

/u/InSkyLimitEra

/u/gastastic

/u/alliwantistogiveup

/u/somanyjellyrolls

/u/stormyeyed94

/u/enjupoint

/u/Kishin_

/u/lymfp

/u/What_u_callme

/u/Moonlight_bae

/u/neuro-fuzzy

/u/fckk

/u/qwertyldn

/u/throwaway0908123

/u/capture_the_excite

/u/mailmesnails

/u/fringeandbinge

/u/RetailSlaveNo1

/u/IAMABaguetteAMA

/u/tattoo987654321

/u/frameworkautoco

/u/chelowelXo

/u/DontMindMeJustBingin

/u/whyaremysockswet

/u/reggiesan

/u/Phantomsgf

/u/Hummingpenguin

/u/aerienne

/u/bannaberry

/u/DieMikrowelle

/u/takingheatfromthesun

/u/-kaneki-ken-

/u/SanguineSmiles

/u/mermaid_puppy

/u/K_iwi

/u/theraindropsx46

/u/WhyRedTape

/u/leatherhoff

/u/goddamnroommate

/u/dnedna

/u/capture_the_excite

/u/whatupmyknitta

/u/b00mshaka

/u/LilyPernille

/u/TummyRumblz

**You know the drill:**

**How did yesterday go? Did you stay binge free? How about your other goals (if you had any)?**

**How is your Saturday going? Other goals besides staying binge free?**

**What would you say is your worst binge trigger, and what are some ways you can manage that trigger? If someone in the group can't think of a way to manage their trigger, please help give them ideas!**



[Other] Telegram proED group chat
/u/skin_ny [5'9.5" | 113.6 | 16.19 | -44 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 29 13:58:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a2alt/telegram_proed_group_chat/
---
Hey everyone! I posted a few weeks ago about a proED group on telegram (it's a pretty neat alternative to kik)

we're moderately active and all super cool so if you're interested in joining, we'd love to have you :) Download the telegram app (you can do it on desktop if you prefer that), sign up for a telegram account, and click the invite link below:

https://telegram.me/joinchat/DrwKHgp5LCl7_Qt9eWqxww

If you have any problems joining, pm me your username and I'll add you!

[Rant/Rave] Halo top rave at work
/u/RetailSlaveNo1 [5'2 | CW 164.8 | GW 95 | 31.22]
Created: Sat Oct 29 13:55:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a2a1h/halo_top_rave_at_work/
---
My assistant manager and I were facing the ice cream section at work and she asked me if I've ever tried halo top and we went on a 20 minute rave about it !!! :) I have a kindred spirit

She so skinny and I've never seen her eat so I feel like she might be one of us but I'd hate to assume.

Anyway I just felt less weird for eating it because I finally found someone who isn't grossed out by it

[Rant/Rave] So apparently I'm a disgusting animal....
/u/PepsiMakSe
Created: Sat Oct 29 13:36:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a26sk/so_apparently_im_a_disgusting_animal/
---
Sorry can't flair /rant ,mobile user :(

The only place I actually feel slightly comfortable eating is my house. Now I don't even have that...

I usually do IF + Keto (600kcal limit). So basically I eat once a day at exactly 7PM so I can live through my workout. The second I sit down to eat my 600kcal worth of pickles, tuna and bacon (mostly pickles), my brother who was eating some take out looks at me eating my first bite and tells me :" You look like some animal. It's disgusting how much you eat, and use a fork when you eat pickles we're not savages." And I kid you not folks, he proceeds to get up and pour his food in the trash and I can hear him say "Ruined my fucking appetite , you belong in a zoo or something."

So thanks bro! Have a nice time not watching me eat for the rest of your life. Didn't eat after that bite. Just went to cry my eyes out and skipped my workout. He thinks I'm "skinny" already? Well apparently I'm some bottomless disgusting pit of a savage animal and I don't feel like ever putting anything in my mouth again. Guess it's fasting from now on for this animal.

[Thinspo] Thinspo: Baskin Champion
/u/hunterxgreen [5'4'' | too much | ditto | -22 | F | ]
Created: Sat Oct 29 13:01:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a20a0/thinspo_baskin_champion/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/8b84c5e114344eceb2db361399634c71?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=5ff790bf2acb6e3c0d710b9e1a659c0b

[Meme/Humor] When people be making comments during my binging episodes
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 29 12:57:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a1zep/when_people_be_making_comments_during_my_binging/
---
https://i.imgur.com/y2syQop.jpg

[Discussion] DAE gain like 4-5 lbs over the course of the day in water weight?
/u/invisible_lizz [5' | 118.4 | BMI:23 l GW 90| -25.6 l F]
Created: Sat Oct 29 12:26:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a1trk/dae_gain_like_45_lbs_over_the_course_of_the_day/
---
Doesn't matter if I'm even just water fasting, as soon as anything touches my lips, I bloat up and the scale reads several lbs heavier.

I *hate* it. Please tell me this is normal.

[Help] Exercise on less than 500 cals a day?
/u/behindthearmory
Created: Sat Oct 29 12:20:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a1sn9/exercise_on_less_than_500_cals_a_day/
---
hey girls

i've been fasting hard again lately after stopping for awhile. most of my friends run and rockclimb and i don't have the energy to do either without carbs.

i've been eating these 200 calories cliff gels/powerbar gels that have like 40mg of carbs. i feel gross doing it but it gives me the energy to power through a workout

i am noticing little actual lbs weight loss, am i sabotaging it because there are so many carbs in my diet?

any advice is appreciated

[Rant/Rave] "eat a bigmac or something"
/u/AccaliaOmg [5'3 | 115 | 20.4 | -15 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 29 12:14:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a1ri3/eat_a_bigmac_or_something/
---
Me, at work, freezing my ass off

"Guuuys is anyone else super cold?"

Colleague #1: "No? It's not cold in here"
Colleague #2: "R u kidding me its so hot in here"
Colleague #3: "No haha I'm so hot right now but it's because you're so small"
Colleague #4 "You're cold because you're tiny. Eat a bigmac or something"

What kind of reverse compliment was that?

Anyhow, made me feel like I was actually achieving something with my ED

[Help] Not losing any boob weight?
/u/pinotblanc [5'3 | GW:115 | 23.2 | -23 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 29 11:30:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a1jey/not_losing_any_boob_weight/
---
I've lost 20 pounds in the past month but none of it has come from my boobs. I'm still a 32D. My ED brain tells me that the bigger the boobs the fatter you look. This may not be true but it's really affecting me. I'm sure some people would love to keep their boobs but I really want them gone.

Has anyone else just not lost any weight from their boobs no matter their weight?

[Rant/Rave] Warning, possible tmi, and a bit of a rant. Can't flair, on mobile
/u/KajaIsForeverAlone [height:5'9 | CW: 147 BMI:21 | weight lost:15 lbs | Gender: F]
Created: Sat Oct 29 11:12:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a1g7a/warning_possible_tmi_and_a_bit_of_a_rant_cant/
---
So every morning I weigh myself before work. And that's fine except for the fact that my body decides to have its morning bowel movement after I'm already at work and it messes with my numbers >,< do you guys have anything annoying like that happen? Any ideas of how to fix it? Sorry if it's tmi, but I know at least one of you understands the frustration

[Help] Help, please, I'm desperate
/u/throwaway_cantstop
Created: Sat Oct 29 11:02:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a1e8i/help_please_im_desperate/
---
Lately, from the moment I wake up to the moment I finally fall asleep it seems like I'm thinking about food. How much I can eat, how much I can't, what to eat, what I shouldn't, how I don't want to eat anything but I'm too weak spirited to say no to myself or anyone else.

I spend hours looking up recipes, watching cooking shows and videos, planning and preparing meals. But I'm currently unemployed, living with my boyfriend at his parents and they all work so I feel like if I don't make something nice for dinner I'll be seen as lazy and useless. (Even though I have just finished remodeling their kitchen and I do clean dishes, vacuum and do laundry)

Anyways, this morning I woke up and even before opening my eyes I was thinking about food. So I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for breakfast, he said he was fine but that I could eat if I wanted. And that just upset me so much, I felt like I'd already failed the day. So when he went out to take care of the animals I finished the rest of my Cheetos from last night.

Then I decided I would make us both chicken and waffles, then he would eat too and it wouldn't be as bad. But no, he said he wants to have a 'purge' day (basically obstain from eating until dinner and have a light dinner) since he ate so much yesterday. I ate more than him yesterday! And I've already eaten more than him today! Fuck.

So that set me off andsince I was already in the kitchen with food on my mind I just dug myself a deeper hole. I had a granola bar, a handful of cereal, a handful of cashews and a handful of dried cranberries as well as a huge bowl of oatmeal with brown sugar. I've already eaten more than he probably will all day and I'll still be expected to eat dinner with him. I hate myself. I don't know how to stop eating. Food is everywhere all the time and I can't avoid it no matter how hard I try as soon as I see it I want it. It is driving me insane. I feel like at this point I cant get away from food anymore than I can escape myself. Please, anyone, help.

[Discussion] on a more positive note...an 'about me' thread!
/u/sunflowerfairy [4'11" | no goal weight; nothing will ever be good enough.]
Created: Sat Oct 29 10:22:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a1713/on_a_more_positive_notean_about_me_thread/
---
(now with more questions!)


so hard to believe that it's been six months since the last time i've seen an 'about me' thread on this sub, but that only means it's a good excuse to have a new one! so here's a thread for all you lovely folks to talk about yourselves and get to know more about each other.


**username/name:**


**nationality:**


**age:**


**relationship status:**


**what other subreddits you frequent:**


**hobbies/what you like to do in your free time:**


**pic:**


i'll start off in the comments.

[Other] It is going to be a very rough night.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 29 09:37:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a0z9n/it_is_going_to_be_a_very_rough_night/
---
[deleted]

Youtuber seems to be lying about her weight?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 29 08:38:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a0pjv/youtuber_seems_to_be_lying_about_her_weight/
---
[deleted]

[Tip] Tip: Sleep naked
/u/tinycat1 [165cm| 60kg | 20F | GW: 45KG]
Created: Sat Oct 29 08:06:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a0kxu/tip_sleep_naked/
---
When I wake up and go to the bathroom, the first thing I see before/after is myself naked, and I'm like, nope, gross, don't wanna see that again :/ so it kind of motivates me to starve/exercise in a weird way. Also, I leave my workout clothes near my bed, so it's the first thing I put on in the morning. I find it helps kind of forcing me to work out when I first get up.

[Rant/Rave] Bought a whole 12' pizza, and chewed and spit it all without binging on it.
/u/tinycat1 [165cm| 60kg | 20F | GW: 45KG]
Created: Sat Oct 29 07:56:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a0jg1/bought_a_whole_12_pizza_and_chewed_and_spit_it/
---
Just sharing a small success for me, it's not much but being drunk and wanting to drink all the wine and eat all the pizza, it feels good to get over this binge eating obsession :) I'll still fast tomorrow though cos I stuck it in my mouth anyway lmao
*12 INCH, not foot >.<

[Discussion] DAE see themselves as having a 'big frame' despite bones sticking out and measurements telling you otherwise?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 29 07:36:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a0gpg/dae_see_themselves_as_having_a_big_frame_despite/
---
The thing is, I can see my stomach is flat. I can fit into small sizes of clothing, but whenever I look in the mirror, I just feel like I look huge. I feel like I'm an XL version of a normal person. I still see fat all over my body and cringe when I look at my flabby thighs, but being 'big' is such a huge problem for me. I feel like everyone is looking at me. I feel like everyone thinks I'm abnormally large. I feel like I'm blocking the space, when I walk into stores. I feel like this big clump of dough following people around. Or this giant. Idk.

(I'm not really sure if I should flair this a rant or a discussion. Sorry)

[Goal] I can finally see my hipbones and rib bones
/u/twigsandbones [5'6 | cw; fat | 19.4 | 18f]
Created: Sat Oct 29 07:11:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a0dfo/i_can_finally_see_my_hipbones_and_rib_bones/
---
So I was laying in the bath and noticed that my rib bones and hipbones stick out like hell. I still feel massive and have a long way to go in terms of my gw however it's really motivating as I'm fasting today after a horrible binge yesterday. Honestly wants me to never binge again as it's so motivating to see them.

3 months ago ago, I was overweight so I'm super happy I've got here. I have no one to share this with so thought I'd tell you guys as you'll understand the joys from these small achievements. Love you all <3

[Discussion] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! October 29, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Oct 29 06:07:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a05xw/stupid_questions_saturday_october_29_2016/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for October 29, 2016.

Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

*****

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 29, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Oct 29 06:07:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5a05xc/daily_food_diary_october_29_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 29, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Intro] purging fish bones in a squat toilet
/u/tsundokulady [169cm | 48kg | 16.8 | grrlish]
Created: Sat Oct 29 03:10:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59zp1r/purging_fish_bones_in_a_squat_toilet/
---
[removed]

[Other] Quick follow up from my last post cos I cant figure out how to edit a post on mobile
/u/leatherhoff [5"3 | TOO MUCH | ftm]
Created: Sat Oct 29 02:18:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59zkoo/quick_follow_up_from_my_last_post_cos_i_cant/
---
Maybe its the reddit app I'm using, I still use reddit is fun because I'm used to it and I don't feel like having to adjust to a new reddit app all over again hahaha. But this one doesn't let me edit posts I've made.
Anyway the point of what I'm saying is that I just woke up after yesterdays binge and wowwww I feel terrible, my stomachs upset and I'm all bloated. Going four days without binging has really emphasised just how much binging was having a negative effect on my life and now I never want to binge again. I'm gonna try to fast today to make up for it and to give my stomach a chance to settle. I'll be okay 😊 I won't let this control me like it used to ever again!

Finally down to 140
/u/KajaIsForeverAlone [height:5'9 | CW: 147 BMI:21 | weight lost:15 lbs | Gender: F]
Created: Sat Oct 29 01:43:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59zhh5/finally_down_to_140/
---
Fucking yes. I've been depressed lately since I'm homeless and stressed so I haven't been eating and I just barely weighed (and it's night and I've had a bit in my system like coffee) the more I starve the better I feel.

I just binged soooo much today ;(
/u/bubble0001
Created: Sat Oct 29 00:03:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59z7jz/i_just_binged_soooo_much_today/
---
I just came one from work, and it was sooo stressful so as soon as I got home I just ate and now I regret it. Going on a tea fast tomorrow anyone have any good teas they'd recommend?

No flair mobile


So frustrated.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 28 23:28:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59z3oo/so_frustrated/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Has anyone tried Pocari Sweat? Is it better than Gatorade?
/u/lightfeathers [5'4" | CW 112 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 28 23:19:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59z2ok/has_anyone_tried_pocari_sweat_is_it_better_than/
---
We don't have Powerade zero here, sadly so I have to find other alternatives. Gatorade is too high cal but Pocari Sweat is 25 cals per serving, I think. Is it good?

[Help] How do you fast when you know you're going to be hungry?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 28 23:12:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59z1sq/how_do_you_fast_when_you_know_youre_going_to_be/
---
[deleted]

[Other] I'm so sorry
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 28 22:57:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59yzya/im_so_sorry/
---
I accidentally posted the same thing five times earlier, I'm so sorry for spamming! I have no idea what happened. forgive me

[Goal] Happy! (NSV)
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Fri Oct 28 21:04:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59ylig/happy_nsv/
---
Lately, every time I put on my everyday clothing, it's been too big. And at work the other day, all the girls were talking about being warm, and I was shivering. Hooray progress!

[Other] I think my age is contributing to my ED
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Fri Oct 28 20:11:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59ydpr/i_think_my_age_is_contributing_to_my_ed/
---
I've had to start lying about my age to get cast in things.

I have to keep up with girls in their 20s.

I don't look my age and I never want to. I don't want my ass to sag or my stomach to pooch like other women in their 30s. I don't want my boyfriend to trade me in in 3yrs for someone younger and fitter.

I don't want to be fat
Ever.

I am tired and I need to eat. I guess I have to eat something, fasting doesn't work well for me emotionally. Ick.

:(

[Tip] Tips for being triggered when grocery shopping?
/u/Makemewantitbad [5'5"|366|59|-38|F]
Created: Fri Oct 28 20:10:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59ydnh/tips_for_being_triggered_when_grocery_shopping/
---
Tonight I binged and purged after purchasing my 'drug' of choice at wal-mart. I find going into a store a huge trigger for me, and would love any helpful tips you guys have to avoid this.

[Rant/Rave] I'd just like to take this moment to thank whoever invented fleece-lined tights and leggings.
/u/wearebulletproof [5'4 | fat | 20F🎀✨]
Created: Fri Oct 28 19:39:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59y94d/id_just_like_to_take_this_moment_to_thank_whoever/
---
You da real MVP.

[Rant/Rave] What is with all of the progress pics?
/u/KillingKylie [5'5| Meh|-38|F|GW: 97]
Created: Fri Oct 28 19:32:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59y841/what_is_with_all_of_the_progress_pics/
---
I used to really love this community and the support we gave each other in regard to our ED and related issues. I know this opinion is going to be unpopular and at this point I accept that and will just find a new community but I cannot and will not shut my mouth any longer.

THIS IS NOT PROGRESS PICS, 1200 IS PLENTY OR LOSEIT EXTREME. THIS IS NOT A FUN GAME OR A QUICK WAY TO SHED SOME POUNDS. ED'S ARE NOT A PLOY FOR ATTENTION.

TO THOSE OF YOU COMING HERE FOR TIPS; ED'S ARE MENTAL ILLNESSES, WE ARE NOT CONTAGIOUS AND WONT "TEACH YOU" OUR "WAYS" YOUR ACTIONS ARE UPSETTING AND DEGRADING IN MY OPINION AND IT NEEDS TO STOP.

THIS. IS. NOT. A. DIET. SUB. STOP. FUCKING. TREATING. IT. LIKE. ONE.

Edit: To clarify, I am not bitching about our weekly progress pic thread. I think most of us are aware of the exact type of posts I am pissed off about.

Retired a bed frame. Gained some laundry. Lost 17 pounds in 5 weeks. Before/after 158.8 today, I'm 5'4".
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 28 18:51:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59y240/retired_a_bed_frame_gained_some_laundry_lost_17/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/7194c6dc65ed4168b8a2a6e9d7ae6945?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=7a77479bbc3c462076c98cca4fb3d553

[Discussion] Sorry if this is really ignorant but...what's the damage?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 28 18:32:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59xz40/sorry_if_this_is_really_ignorant_butwhats_the/
---
[deleted]

About to go on a spontaneous outing with a sugar daddy D:
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 28 18:28:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59xyg3/about_to_go_on_a_spontaneous_outing_with_a_sugar/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] My bf is fat shaming me?
/u/zebra3stripes
Created: Fri Oct 28 18:15:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59xwbn/my_bf_is_fat_shaming_me/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] really panicky and stressed out at a Halloween party
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 28 18:06:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59xusb/really_panicky_and_stressed_out_at_a_halloween/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] (can't flair but I guess Rant/Rave?) I got invited to a Halloween party and I'm REALLY overwhelmed
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 28 17:54:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59xsxm/cant_flair_but_i_guess_rantrave_i_got_invited_to/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Stressed the fuck out about a stupid party.
/u/invisible_lizz [5' | 118.4 | BMI:23 l GW 90| -25.6 l F]
Created: Fri Oct 28 17:43:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59xr4k/stressed_the_fuck_out_about_a_stupid_party/
---
I'm going to a Halloween party in a few days. People that I no longer talk to will be there, mingling with current friends. Looks like nothing but water and black coffee until Sunday. I need to be at least 5 lbs lighter to feel ok at this party. Which isn't going to happen and I won't even pretend it could because it will only make me more disappointed when I put my costume on and see how fat I'm going to look in front of them, God, and everyone else.

It's just a fucking party, I should be ready to relax and have some fun. But no. I'm sitting here chugging water and running to the bathroom every 10 minutes because I can't deal. So much for having fun in my 20's I guess.

[Discussion] Group chats?
/u/jaciepoohxox
Created: Fri Oct 28 17:26:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59xo58/group_chats/
---
First, sorry for no flair, I'm on mobile! But I was wondering if there were any group chats that I could join?

Peeps! Super happy with my weigh in today!!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 28 17:22:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59xnjc/peeps_super_happy_with_my_weigh_in_today/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Methods to fight urges to self harm?
/u/damn_it_linda [5'4" | 122 | -28 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 28 17:20:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59xn61/methods_to_fight_urges_to_self_harm/
---
Hello, loves ❤
Long story short, I've recently found myself in a cycle of purging again. It's been years since I've done this, and the urge is back and startlingly strong. It's one thing to eat restrictively, but when you're making friends with the toilet on a nightly basis, it feels very very fucked up. Not to mention it hurts. My face is swollen, acid reflux, broken blood vessles, raw mouth...This hole gets very deep very quickly for me, and I wanted to reach out to people who may understand.
What do you do when you have a strong urge to purge or engage in self harming behaviors? How do you distract yourself, or what methods do you find to help?


[Rant/Rave] was binge-free for 4 days, my longest time in ages, then I fucked up :-(
/u/leatherhoff [5"3 | TOO MUCH | ftm]
Created: Fri Oct 28 16:56:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59xix7/was_bingefree_for_4_days_my_longest_time_in_ages/
---
I've been pretty heavily restricting this week and tbh I feel great and I have already noticed the difference over just a few days. I don't eat during the day and then I eat around 400 cal or less when I get home in the evening. That was working fine until I thought it'd be safe to get some lunch at work. There were two problems with this: 1. I couldn't calorie count it 2. It was waaaay earlier than I usually eat my daily meal at. So by the time I got home I was hungry again. Long story short I binged. Not a super big one, maybe around 1000 cal or a bit more but still enough for me to feel like I've undone aaalll of the progress I've made :-( it seems a bit silly to ask but could I get some reassurance that I can get back on track? I'm scared I'm gonna get back into my old habits and I really don't want that because I was so happy earlier when I noticed the effect restricting has had! Aaaagh

[Rant/Rave] "You're so tiny!"
/u/invisible_lizz [5' | 118.4 | BMI:23 l GW 90| -25.6 l F]
Created: Fri Oct 28 16:08:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59xahe/youre_so_tiny/
---
Is what they used to say at 108ish. Then I ruined it by binging and drinking. Went up to 144. (can't even believe that number.) Now finally broke my plateau and I'm under 130 again. No one calls me small anymore.

I'm working on getting to sub 100. I just want to hear those words again. It's so hard when you're short.

[Goal] Missé Beqiri. Ultimate Girl Crush and Goal.
/u/ResurrectionOfMarion
Created: Fri Oct 28 16:04:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59x9om/missé_beqiri_ultimate_girl_crush_and_goal/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/25331088407547899bf1b7e7377a54da?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=d755118559a5c9515c5cc9567c7c0afb

[Discussion] Depression triggers ED? End up using food as punishment?
/u/bumblers [5'8"| 125.3 | -20 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 28 15:50:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59x759/depression_triggers_ed_end_up_using_food_as/
---
I always find that when my depression is worsening, or when my anxiety is sky high, my eating disorder becomes the huge number one top priority in my life, because I have total total total control over it. It's mine. It shows that I am strong and not a slave to the basic hedonistic human impulse to eat despite all my other faults. I know that's wrong, and unhealthy, but I don't care, because it's such an insane comfort.

But then food becomes a punishment. Like if I let myself eat, I just know it'll make me feel like absolute shit, and I'll beat myself up over it for weeks. So I use that as a method of punishing myself, you know? I don't eat as a reward (even though that hurts too.)

But then when I'm happy and things are good, the ED can take a back seat. Yeah I'll restrict and fast and hate myself, but it's more passive. Less obsessive. I miss my ED when it's like that, miss feeling totally in control.

Sorry for the ramble, and no flair (mobile...) but it's been a shit day, and a shit week, and it's just hard.

[Thinspo] Model Thinspo
/u/mourir01 [5'6 | CW: 123 | GW: 90 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 28 15:30:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59x3dt/model_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/qBxHS

[Goal] Does a thigh keyhole count for anything?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 28 15:16:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59x0t9/does_a_thigh_keyhole_count_for_anything/
---
https://imgur.com/rKCoMjv

[Tip] Body visualizer that shows common word associations with your body type!! Can't put in stats but I just estimated
/u/Canibalope
Created: Fri Oct 28 15:12:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59wzvz/body_visualizer_that_shows_common_word/
---
http://bodytalk.is.tue.mpg.de/

[Other] I just ruined my friend's day
/u/scandinaviandreams [6'0" | 131 | 17.93 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 28 15:03:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59wy72/i_just_ruined_my_friends_day/
---
So I have a friend who's working towards losing weight right now. She was texting me all happily about these "low cal noodles" and how they're a god blessing, only 78kcal a packet. Curious I'm like "what brand are they?" and she sends me a picture of them.


They're not 78kcal per packet. They're listed as 78kcal per 100ml, but the whole serving is 500ml so thats 390kcal :( my friend was devastated when I told her this, and she ranted on about how she has been eating these for *days*.


Honestly, this would be a nightmare scenario for me.

[Other] I just bought 1000 laxatives, oh my, just kill me now. Haha, ha. Not so 'ha'.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | 145.8 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 28 15:02:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59wxy1/i_just_bought_1000_laxatives_oh_my_just_kill_me/
---
Couldn't find any cheap laxatives with bisacodyl in this damn country. Everything was senna or various herbs. Found generic bisacodyl online but they only sold it in a bottle of 1000. Still cheaper that a few boxes here.

Dear Zeus, my ED is laughing at me. I know my limit on laxatives and I only bought them because you simply cannot go cold turkey on them and I used them for years. No way I'll ever go through 1000....hopefully. But I have.

Dark humor: I tried searching this country's Amazon for bisacodyl laxatives and, no joke, it only had posters of the pills. Because that's what I need. A huge poster of thousands of laxative pills. Thanks, Amazon. You sure know your clients.

[Help] I want to lose weight but I want to donate blood?
/u/imnevergold [5'6 | 112 | 18.15 | -15 | F | ]
Created: Fri Oct 28 15:01:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59wxqo/i_want_to_lose_weight_but_i_want_to_donate_blood/
---
The Red Cross states that in order to donate blood you have to be at least 110lbs. Do they actually weigh you when you go to donate blood? If I'm trying to lose weight how can I go under 110lbs and still be a blood donor? If I binge before a blood donation to make the weight requirement how easy will it be to lose the weight?

[Rant/Rave] I need to get this out of my system after a binge
/u/twigsandbones [5'6 | cw; fat | 19.4 | 18f]
Created: Fri Oct 28 14:57:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59wwyu/i_need_to_get_this_out_of_my_system_after_a_binge/
---
So I visited home again and became an out of control mess again and ate alot of calories. It was first because my parents cooked me some food and then it just turned into a really messy, gross binge. I really hate myself for it as I'm at my LW however I'm not going to try and beat myself up about it as tomorrow is a new day. I'm planning to water fast and study so I don't binge tomorrow and I've really gone off the food I've binged on(It was all really gross and enjoyed none of it). I'm now going have a little cry and let it all out however I will lose it and I will stop binging when I'm in out of control situations!

irony
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 28 13:56:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59wkuj/irony/
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[removed]

irony
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 28 13:56:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59wkuh/irony/
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[removed]

irony
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 28 13:56:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59wkug/irony/
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[removed]

irony
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 28 13:56:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59wkuf/irony/
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[removed]

irony
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 28 13:56:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59wkue/irony/
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[removed]

[Rant/Rave] irony
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 28 13:56:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59wkud/irony/
---
I'm happy because I'm too sad to eat....I had a small fight with my super control freak parents and I got really anxious! now my stomach has a knot in it and I couldn't eat anything if I wanted to....at least I'll stay under my 500 cal goal today

[Intro] Anyone here from PrettyThin or PrettyThinAgain? AKA PT/PTA/Pt2
/u/invisible_lizz [5' | 118.4 | BMI:23 l GW 90| -25.6 l F]
Created: Fri Oct 28 13:36:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59wgt9/anyone_here_from_prettythin_or_prettythinagain/
---
Hey all. Basically what the title says. My username was the same on the forums as it is here.

I was a member since 2010(?) on PT and when everyone moved to PTA, so did I.

I don't go there at all really anymore because of one of the frequent posters, also the attitude has switched to pro-recovery, and it's just not something I'm interested in. This subreddit is the closest thing I've found to Old PT, was wondering if anyone used to be/is a member there. Probably no one will know who I am, but it's worth a shot.

[Other] The only thing I'm proud of is my legs
/u/wanskie [5'5 | cw: 135 | bmi: 22.5 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 28 13:24:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59wed5/the_only_thing_im_proud_of_is_my_legs/
---
http://imgur.com/a/ePNtq

[Discussion] How do ya'll keep your meds/vitamins down?/Booted up my throwaway so I can comment here now
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 28 13:23:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59we0f/how_do_yall_keep_your_medsvitamins_downbooted_up/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Anyone want to join me in committing to a binge-free week DAY FIVE
/u/mmm_erythritol
Created: Fri Oct 28 13:19:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59wd9o/anyone_want_to_join_me_in_committing_to_a/
---
*"Three months from now, you'll wish you worked harder today."*

Happy Friday! And it will be a happy Friday because we are all staying BINGE FREE!


/u/ToffeeCup

/u/infinitegoldstyle

/u/shortchair

/u/neveraunicorn

/u/possiblycurious

/u/UnrequitedOrgasms

/u/InSkyLimitEra

/u/gastastic

/u/alliwantistogiveup

/u/somanyjellyrolls

/u/stormyeyed94

/u/enjupoint

/u/Kishin_

/u/lymfp

/u/What_u_callme

/u/Moonlight_bae

/u/neuro-fuzzy

/u/fckk

/u/qwertyldn

/u/throwaway0908123

/u/capture_the_excite

/u/mailmesnails

/u/fringeandbinge

/u/RetailSlaveNo1

/u/IAMABaguetteAMA

/u/tattoo987654321

/u/frameworkautoco

/u/chelowelXo

/u/DontMindMeJustBingin

/u/whyaremysockswet

/u/reggiesan

/u/Phantomsgf

/u/Hummingpenguin

/u/aerienne

/u/bannaberry

/u/DieMikrowelle

/u/takingheatfromthesun

/u/-kaneki-ken-

/u/SanguineSmiles

/u/mermaid_puppy

/u/K_iwi

/u/theraindropsx46

/u/WhyRedTape

/u/leatherhoff

/u/goddamnroommate

/u/dnedna

/u/capture_the_excite

/u/whatupmyknitta

/u/b00mshaka

/u/LilyPernille

/u/TummyRumblz

**For today's check-in, please discuss:**

**How was day four?**

**How is your Friday going? Any other goals?**

**What strategies do you use to avoid weekend bingeing? With the weekend almost upon us, lets fill our mental armory with weapons against bingeing!**

Thanks guys! You've all been so wonderful in these posts and I just want you all to know that I'm so grateful, from the bottom of my heart, for all the support you're giving to me and each other.


[Discussion] Weight loss on adrafinil?
/u/hazelconner [5'4" | 174.5 | 33.2% BF | -15.5 | X/F]
Created: Fri Oct 28 12:54:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59w83w/weight_loss_on_adrafinil/
---
I just bought some adrafinil pills from nootropics city. I heard it makes you super focused and kills appetite. Anyone have any experiences? I'm losing about 5 lbs a month and it's just not enough for me.

[Discussion] DAE bring food from home to school/work bc they're afraid they'll binge on it??
/u/knobbje
Created: Fri Oct 28 12:37:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59w4lz/dae_bring_food_from_home_to_schoolwork_bc_theyre/
---
I casuay bring sweets from home to my school and share it with my friends, so I only eat little at school and can't binge on it later

[Help] I just want someone to tell me that it's ok to give up and kill myself.
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 127.4 | 18.5/18.8 | -19.6 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 28 11:50:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59vub8/i_just_want_someone_to_tell_me_that_its_ok_to/
---
I don't want to live anymore. The only reason I'm staying alive is because my boyfriend and pet hedgehog need me. Otherwise, I would probably lie in bed all day until I mustered the courage to overdose on my four antidepressants. I've reached out. But honestly, when someone says "it will get better," all I can hear is "you're stupid for thinking it won't get better," or "you're just not trying hard enough," or "you should be ashamed for wanting to die because you don't have a good enough reason." And then I just feel even worse and want to die even more. I have so much good going on in my life right now. But none of it actually makes me feel good. I feel like nothing matters. I've run out of energy. I don't want to try anymore. It's too hard. Is my desire to give up valid?

My (amateur artwork) and how I want to feel
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 28 11:24:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59voo4/my_amateur_artwork_and_how_i_want_to_feel/
---
http://i.imgur.com/uqNHKXM.jpg

[Help] I just threw out last nights leftovers because I thought they were meant for me.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 28 11:22:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59vobc/i_just_threw_out_last_nights_leftovers_because_i/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Need a scale on a budget
/u/throwaway03199519 [glob]
Created: Fri Oct 28 11:12:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59vm6k/need_a_scale_on_a_budget/
---
So the scale I have is SO inaccurate and actually had been telling me I was 118 when I was actually 113. I only trust my weights from the doctors office. But I'm starting to get antsy and really wanna be able to weigh at home.

What scales do you guys own that are accurate and not too expensive?

[Help] Will I lose weight if I don't hit my calorie goals?
/u/Atsugaruru
Created: Fri Oct 28 10:56:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59vit7/will_i_lose_weight_if_i_dont_hit_my_calorie_goals/
---
Hey guys. I've had Binge Eating Disorder since I was a little kid, but I'm recovering! Two weeks binge-free and I'm still going strong!

I'm trying to lose the weight I gained thanks to BED by eating 1200 calories a day. But hitting 1200 is so hard sometimes, it seems like so much food, and I can't get through meals without crying.

If I eat less than my calorie goals will I still lose weight? I've been eating about 800 calories a day. Everyone says your body refuses to lose weight if you eat too little, but I'm too scared to eat so much.

[Discussion] Drugs and restriction?
/u/dnedna [5'7" | 116 | 18.15 | GW:110 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 28 10:54:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59vij0/drugs_and_restriction/
---
Does anyone have any experience of taking MDMA whilst restricting? I’m supposed to drop for the first time tomorrow night and am not sure if I should do anything differently in terms of calories or macros for harm reduction/having a good experience generally.

Any advice?


[Help] What are EC Stacks?
/u/alypso
Created: Fri Oct 28 10:49:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59vhci/what_are_ec_stacks/
---
Can someone explain to me what are EC stacks, I see them mentioned a lot on here.

[Thinspo] Viktoria Belany - 5'9" and 99lb
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 28 10:17:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59vavo/viktoria_belany_59_and_99lb/
---
http://imgur.com/a/Jll7i

[Rant/Rave] I don't know where else to post this
/u/simplyapartyboob [5'8 | HW: 170 | CW: 140 | GW: 120 | 21.06 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 28 10:08:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59v90s/i_dont_know_where_else_to_post_this/
---
So I'm new-ish to posting here but I just need to get some shit off my chest & don't know where else to go. I've been able to manage my ed pretty well the past year or so, and I've been purge-free for over a month now but I just went through a really bad breakup and it's been fucking with every aspect of my life. I'm scared I'm going to have to drop out of college & I don't want to be even more of a disappointment. I've even been restricting super consistently & dropping a nice amount of weight until yesterday I had to fuck it all up and eat over 1000 :( I'm just having such a hard time finding motivation to do anything, except eat and eat. I just can't let myself bc if I do have to drop out at least I'll drop out skinny lmao. All my thoughts are consumed by suicide & calories and I don't feel like I have anyone I can turn to. Also can't flair on mobile

[Rant/Rave] My SO found out
/u/coffeecoffeecoffee90 [5'5" | CW: 127.0 | GW: 120 | -31 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 28 09:57:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59v6h4/my_so_found_out/
---
He found my account so he knows about the Bronkaid, the restricting/fasting, but thankfully not about the purging because I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone about that and admit to myself that it's become a habit in certain situations.

He wants me to stick to at least 1000 cals a day, no EC stack, and keeps asking me to eat. Thankfully nothing about eating back an exercise deficit. It's only been two days and I'm thinking of a million ways I can lie about it. But I can't bring myself to lie to him. I've answered his questions honestly but definitely just skimmed the surface. He just wants me to talk to him and to see a therapist about it.

I honestly feel like when I get to my goal weight I'll think seriously about recovering from whatever this is for his sake, but I'm less than 10 pounds away and if I stop now it feels like this was all for nothing. And I'll just be waiting it out until he stops asking if I ate today before I can keep going. I want to hit my goal weight by Christmas and I know I can still do that as long as I keep burning more off by running and going to the gym but I feel like such a giant disappointment.

I'm just not ready to do this and I hate that I'm hurting him now too instead of just myself.

[Other] I feel awful
/u/zomboooo [5'7|115|18.1|-2|NB]
Created: Fri Oct 28 09:29:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59v0z8/i_feel_awful/
---
I ended things with a guy I liked because I knew that it would end up nowhere and I didn't want to deal with that. I told him that if he didn't text me back I would assume that he agreed that going no contact would be best.

Well he texted me back a week later wanting to see me but then he never texted me back about actually hanging out. And then last night I saw him at cvs and he totally avoided me. Wow. It's like what do you want from me? I gave him an easy way out and he knows how I feel. Why are my feelings being toyed with??

I've been bingeing since last night because I'm so confused and hurt. I hate this.

[Discussion] Some positivity
/u/c_marier [5'6"| 113.4| 18.3 | -13 | 22F]
Created: Fri Oct 28 08:52:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59uthk/some_positivity/
---
I know I personally spend so much time complaining and worrying and ranting, so I want to take a second and focus on what I am thankful for. Here are a couple random things:

* My Aldi has started selling cashew milk! So now I no longer have to make a specific trip to Target and pay fifty cents more.

* The public bathroom at work has a full-length mirror that I have to walk toward every time I come in. It's nice seeing that angle - since it's the one that most people see of me, but it's sometimes hard to see myself full-body walking toward myself lol.

* My work has a mini gym with everything I need! I've been working out 3-4 times per week and feeling GREAT! Swiss ball work out are the BOMB, guys!

* Last Friday I was flipping out over being 118 but this morning I weighed in at 113. BOOYAH

* My boyfriend has started getting into health and fitness which is AWESOME. It gives me good motivation because I've always been the more athletic person in our relationship and now I have to work to keep up and keep from becoming the couch potato of the relationship. He's becoming more focused on eating healthy - which makes eating around him so much easier, because he used to be such a source of temptation with crap food, but now is trying to avoid buying crap in the first place.

* ALSO after this weekend (my alma mater's homecoming), my bf is planning to try and give up alcohol for a few weeks to a month, and usually he's the main person I drink with, so now in support, I get to avoid those calories as well.

* I live three stories up and just realized that I never run into anyone when I'm walking up the stairs inside the building. I've started pacing up and down the stairs if I'm freaking out about too many calories or have extra time/energy etc. and it's a really nice release.

Life is good, folks. What (ed related or not) are you happy about right now?

[Rant/Rave] Finally beat the October BingeFest [rave]
/u/disbeetch [5'3'' | 140 | 23.7 | -34 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 28 08:50:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59ut2h/finally_beat_the_october_bingefest_rave/
---
This month has involved SO MUCH FOOD every single weekend. But I've been restricting so hard this week especially (~300cal/day) and this morning I hit my lowest weight since high school. I'm so proud of myself for finally making some progress!!! I also fit into my slutty Halloween costume from junior year of high school so hellllll yes

[Discussion] DAE not weigh themselves?
/u/RainyDayDaydream [5'6 | ?? | ?? | ?? | Lady]
Created: Fri Oct 28 08:38:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59uqw2/dae_not_weigh_themselves/
---
Think the title says it all. Is there anyone out there who doesn't weigh themselves?

I dont, honestly because then I know it would be my drive to just get far, far worse in terms of my ED behaviours and I dont want to end up in a clinic again. Even before then, I never weighed myself and don't know my current weight.
Instead I kind of just go by how...I look/feel, and how clothing fits on me.
I calorie count and do all the rest. Just. Weighing. My weight. It scares me.

[Discussion] Preventing health problems while re-losing weight?
/u/antimeridian [crystal gems don't eat]
Created: Fri Oct 28 08:28:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59up1x/preventing_health_problems_while_relosing_weight/
---
I’ve been WR for three months and want to lose some of it, but I’m trying not to die and/or be sent to treatment again (good plan, right?). My new GW is pretty reasonable — it’s as low as I could go the first time before experiencing serious difficulties. Unfortunately, I’ve heard that the health problems associated with restricting are quicker to come the second time around, and I really can’t afford more physical issues, as I still have amenhorrea and a bad heart. Has anyone else had experience with being WR and then re-losing the weight? Was there anything you did to make it easier on your body?

[Discussion] I felt sort of terrible for thinking this, but I daydreamed about having an irl "bulimia buddy"
/u/Shelbolovesnate [5'2" | 100 | 18.95 | 35 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 28 08:19:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59unes/i_felt_sort_of_terrible_for_thinking_this_but_i/
---
We could binge our faces off together shamelessly on a bad day, and go off to vomit in adjoining bathrooms. Hug each other and cry when the scale didn't show what we want.

But then my next selfish thought was, I would probably get jealous if she started to get thinner than I was. It's not a competition, but I can't help but to compare myself. I'll just have to content myself with the thought that they are out there, even if I don't know who they are.

[Rant/Rave] Dropped weight having fun :))
/u/cry_baaby
Created: Fri Oct 28 08:17:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59umwk/dropped_weight_having_fun/
---
so happy <3 haven't checked my weight in a week due to dates/parties/school, checked today and I'm 6 lbs down!!! really motivating !

[Rant/Rave] Forced to eat a candy
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 28 08:15:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59ummw/forced_to_eat_a_candy/
---
[deleted]

[Meme/Humor] feels while binging
/u/namelessgia
Created: Fri Oct 28 07:41:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59ugh5/feels_while_binging/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/8ff9d8b4a01f40cb87c9df7f8fbe0fb7?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=ae2c422cff84e9778c5a8f3857e1afc2

[Discussion] DAE's face get puffy when you restrict?
/u/hunterxgreen [5'4'' | too much | ditto | -22 | F | ]
Created: Fri Oct 28 07:06:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59uasr/daes_face_get_puffy_when_you_restrict/
---
Whenever I restrict or restrict to lower calories etc at first my face gets puffy. My hands too a bit. If I ever go off plan it goes away a bit. It's odd and a bit sad bc I'm restricting and losing weight yet my face looks bigger

[Help] Frustrated
/u/Butt3rfli3s [5'2" | CW: 220 | BMI: 43 | Weight Lost: 63Lbs | Gender: F]
Created: Fri Oct 28 06:35:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59u5tk/frustrated/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] OMYGOD im so excited and I can't share this with anyone else but you guys
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 28 06:28:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59u4mg/omygod_im_so_excited_and_i_cant_share_this_with/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] I've put on half a pound and I feel like I'm going to throw up
/u/OperatingOnScientist [5'3 | 128.6lbs | 23.41 | F | UGW 100lbs]
Created: Fri Oct 28 06:18:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59u36s/ive_put_on_half_a_pound_and_i_feel_like_im_going/
---
I don't know why I've been so stupid and eaten so much when I knew this would happen. I want to cry and throw up everything I've eaten. I will never be beautiful at this rate

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! October 28, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Oct 28 06:12:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59u29e/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for October 28, 2016.

Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, inspiration behind your OOTD (trying to look thin or cover up weightloss, etc.)!

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

*****

Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 28, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Oct 28 06:12:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59u28d/daily_food_diary_october_28_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 28, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Other] I feel so secretive
/u/kennedyconnolly [5'9| 120 | 17.4]
Created: Fri Oct 28 05:14:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59tuw3/i_feel_so_secretive/
---
i posted last night about a team dinner, but SURPRISE my parents are gonna make me eat dinner when i get home. :((( so now i need to run more so i can allow myself to eat dinner. after practice im gonna say "im gonna be late i have to pick up cookies from my brother (i am bringing cookies so this is good) and then im just gonna run a quick extra three miles. im just scared someone on my team is gonna catch me.

[Thinspo] This picture of young Ryan Ross
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 28 04:46:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59trmx/this_picture_of_young_ryan_ross/
---
https://i.redd.it/uv08g6y537ux.jpg

[Meme/Humor] Me eating after an EC stack
/u/notthinohno [161cm |125.2lbs | 22.45 | - 51lbs | F]
Created: Fri Oct 28 04:37:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59tqof/me_eating_after_an_ec_stack/
---
http://i.imgur.com/M8sbWTn.gifv

[Rant/Rave] bottomless pit of hunger
/u/Edible_pain [5 foot 6 in| 133 | -over 100lbs| F]
Created: Fri Oct 28 02:16:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59tcto/bottomless_pit_of_hunger/
---
So, my psych doc increased my zoloft. I had a splitting headache for 3 days, and ate everything in the house... including kiwi candy that i am allergic to. *facepalm* i needed to take a few benedryl, some OTC pain killers, a drink of absinthe. I am so bloated, I guess I didnt need that new hole i punched in my belt last week.

tl;dr adjusting to a higher dose of meds SUCKS.

[Rant/Rave] when youre on another website talking about food
/u/gin-and-lemon [🐝 5'1"| cw: 150lbs | bmi: 29 | -15lbs | f]
Created: Fri Oct 28 01:52:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59tahb/when_youre_on_another_website_talking_about_food/
---
and you are trying so hard to keep it normal

avoiding just only chatting calories, avoiding calling eating a box of poptarts binge eating and shit like that

and then someones like "lol i ate a box of granola bars over three days is there therapy for this???"

and you just like *wide eyed gum smile* u aint seen shit bitch

in other news i binged on fucking poptarts which i bought because i was like "damn girl u been exhibiting lots of control and being good so heres a treat"

yeah u only had control because u didnt buy garbage food dipshit congratz on being a dumbass

in other other news this whole post is garbage

[Rant/Rave] The ED gods giveth and the ED gods taketh away?
/u/Melatoninsky [5'3"| CW:104.4 lbs | GW: 99 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Oct 28 01:01:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59t5b8/the_ed_gods_giveth_and_the_ed_gods_taketh_away/
---
Uh so today was supposed to be a planned b/p evening. I waited for literally weeks, for the perfect set of coincidences where everyone would be out for a solid 3 hours and I'd have the house to myself to eat stuff I've been disallowing myself and then purge safely and do no damage (lol). Then, a literal fucking premonition... Watch, my family would end up staying home at the last minute.

I was right. Guys, I was so pissed. Like I wanted to cry. I had everything ready.
... So I ate dinner in my room like a moody, shady fuck and then purged anyway because fuck it. Whatever.

But then I weighed myself before having a shower and i somehow lost a whole pound since this morning despite skipping the gym (all week because I'm a lazy fuck). I think I weighed myself like 40 times, moving the scale around to different places in the bathroom, holding my giant shampoo bottle to make sure the weight changed accordingly. Yep. 105 105 105. No fluctuation. Er? Thank you ED gods??

I just hope this particular gift doesn't get taken away.

[Discussion] Anyone else have a love/hate relationship with jeans?
/u/reggiesan [5'0" | 138 | 28.38 | -27 lbs | F | GW: 110]
Created: Fri Oct 28 00:29:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59t1vt/anyone_else_have_a_lovehate_relationship_with/
---
Honestly, jeans can either be a big motivator or a big trigger for me. Putting on a pair of old jeans I expect to fit only to have a muffin top is so crushing. But, on the other hand, having that perfect pair of jeans fit feels so good. I don't think I've worn jeans in over a year for fear of the muffin top, but again, kind of a motivator. Any one else feel this too?

[Goal] I was going to binge on pasta, but I didn't :D
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 28 00:27:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59t1pr/i_was_going_to_binge_on_pasta_but_i_didnt_d/
---
I had eaten too much, anyways, but when I went for my second portion, I poured it up, poured it back a couple times, ended up taking three pieces of pasta and putting the rest back. I'm still at 600 calories already, but I'm treating myself to a Diet Monster and a new lighter tonight, so I think everything is gonna be good. I was faced with an entire box of my favorite pasta, and I didn't eat all of it. I'm so happy. This might not sound like much, but it was definitely a victory to me. Pasta is also my biggest binge-food.

I realized how many calories it was gonna set me back, and I realized I was always gonna be able to access pasta. Pasta wasn't gonna leave me and never come back. I did not need pasta now. I drank some water and made some licorice tea instead.

I also dropped two pounds over night, which is a pleasant surprise. Yeah. Today is gonna be good, I think.

(I'm not sure if this is in the 'goal' or the 'other' category)


[Discussion] What is the most weight you lost in a month?
/u/nauticaI [5'3.5" | BMI 19.8 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 28 00:25:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59t1i8/what_is_the_most_weight_you_lost_in_a_month/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59t1i8/what_is_the_most_weight_you_lost_in_a_month/

[Help] Assisting my girlfriend who suffers from an eating disorder.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 27 23:52:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59sxk3/assisting_my_girlfriend_who_suffers_from_an/
---
[deleted]

[Intro] Thought I'd do an intro
/u/shortchair [5'6" | 108 lbs | 17.5 | -60 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 27 23:15:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59st8f/thought_id_do_an_intro/
---
I've posted a bit and lurked a lot and thought I'd do a formal intro. I'm 28 years old and have been stressing about my weight since I was five years old. I had one best friend since kindergarten and I remember ever since I met her thinking about how much smaller her calves were than mine. I didn't understand of course, I was just jealous. I eventually attritbuted it to genetics; she had a tiny mom and I had a mom who was ALWAYS on a diet.

My mother throughout my entire childhood was a part of a weight loss program. She weighed in every Thursday. Every Wednesday, without fail, she would say, "I can't eat today." She recieved awards for reaching her goal weights in the past. She had photo albums dedicated to these moments. She was so happy in those photos. In day to day life, she was miserable. She was in constant battle with her weight all through my childhood. She was vocal about it. In fact, my entire extended family was. They placed value on weight. Despite this, I was never shamed for my weight. I was a normal weight through childhood, but after pregnancy, ballooned up to to borderline obese. I fell into a deep depression after giving birth, and my only happiness became food.

After three years, enough was enough. I got a gym membership, researched weight loss and educated myself on calories, BMR, and TDEE. I lost 25 pounds in 3 months. I felt great. Everyone complimented me. I couldn't stop.

A year later I was hospitalized three times. Once for suicidal ideation, once for a suicide attempt and once for a panic attack that they ended up holding me for because of my low weight and I was diagnosed with anorexia. I checked myself out after a week against medical advice. I looked at food and cried. I wanted to die. Then my grandfather died, and I thought..."what a selfish fuck I am." I was shopping for something to wear to his funeral and in the dressing room I saw every bone and muscle in my body. I went to his funeral and heard everyone whispering about me. So I ate. I ate and ate and ate.

I ate my way back up to my highest weight from 3-4 years prior. I was an alcoholic. That's where most of the weight came from. Then someone I knew got a DUI. I stopped drinking. I stopped eating again. I lost most of the weight again. So here I am. There is much more to this story and it doesn't all make sense, but here I am. I'm willing to talk to with anyone, so many of you here seem so intelligent and it's so revealing to have things to common with people when I thought I was crazy for so long.

So maybe I am crazy but I'm not alone.

edit: for spelling and typos >_< (and flair)

[Thinspo] This pic of young Leo DiCaprio...
/u/NoiDontWannaTalk [6'0 | 142 | 19.2 | Lost: 15lbs| Male]
Created: Thu Oct 27 23:03:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59srpt/this_pic_of_young_leo_dicaprio/
---
http://imgur.com/lkeL5pA

[Discussion] DAE get night sweats?
/u/concuidado [4'11 | 83 lbs | 17.8 | -62| F]
Created: Thu Oct 27 22:49:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59spu7/dae_get_night_sweats/
---
Ever since I started upping my calories a few weeks back (I went from eating an average of 200-360 calories per day for about 4 months to 640 per day now) I am starting to get night sweats.
I wake up covered in sweat all over my back but at the same time I'm cold? I read some other forums and they all say it's part of recovery but I am still not eating at my BMR or TDEE.
Has anyone else experienced this?

[Rant/Rave] My mom is my biggest trigger
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 27 22:38:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59sobh/my_mom_is_my_biggest_trigger/
---
My mom is morbidly obese. Despite that, she was the one that kickstarted my very first diet. That diet spiraled into my food problems. At that time, she was dieting too, but she gave it up completely, and gained probably twice what I lost.

Due to the whole ED thing, I really dislike my mom. Sometimes, I'll be finally giving in and walking out for a portion of food, and I'll see her munching on half a chocolate-cake and I'll just feel disgusted, because I really don't wanna end up like her. I don't ever wanna be that obese.

I've seen her without a shirt on and I just cringe. I can't eat when I'm around her, because I want nothing less than to 'become her' I hope anyone can relate.

[Rant/Rave] About to purge
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 27 21:41:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59sg68/about_to_purge/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] Who is your ultimate thinspo?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105 | GW: 99 | 18.0 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 27 21:29:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59sebe/who_is_your_ultimate_thinspo/
---
If you could look like anyone, who would it be?

[Thinspo] Small thinspo/bonespo album I made this morning.
/u/skullp00pl
Created: Thu Oct 27 21:26:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59sds3/small_thinspobonespo_album_i_made_this_morning/
---
https://imgur.com/gallery/pCCLS

[Discussion] does anyone else use words as thinspo?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 27 21:16:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59sc93/does_anyone_else_use_words_as_thinspo/
---
certain words are such thinspo to me...my favorites are delicate, dainty, petite, tiny, fragile etc ^_^ what are yours?

[Goal] I've lost 56 lbs.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 27 20:38:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59s6cz/ive_lost_56_lbs/
---
http://imgur.com/a/wf2L2

[Meme/Humor] X-post from r/fatlogic, thought you guys would approve.
/u/NoiDontWannaTalk [6'0 | 142 | 19.2 | Lost: 15lbs| Male]
Created: Thu Oct 27 20:34:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59s5na/xpost_from_rfatlogic_thought_you_guys_would/
---
http://imgur.com/Yx3vsEl

Avoiding food at family/team/friend dinners
/u/kennedyconnolly [5'9| 120 | 17.4]
Created: Thu Oct 27 20:04:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59s0hv/avoiding_food_at_familyteamfriend_dinners/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend doesn't even care anymore when I purge
/u/H2OandCaffeine [5ft7 | FAT | -20 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Oct 27 19:50:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59rxo3/boyfriend_doesnt_even_care_anymore_when_i_purge/
---
That should be a victory of some sort right? I can purge in peace now. But instead it just feels lonely. Now I'm all alone with this shit and nobody gives a fuck. :/

How will eating frozen yogurt effect me?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 27 19:09:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59rqwj/how_will_eating_frozen_yogurt_effect_me/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] Got a long way to go, but it's a start. Before and during. [Progress]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 27 18:44:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59rmtn/got_a_long_way_to_go_but_its_a_start_before_and/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/3b27bc262a5648919f945d29e5db51ff?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=e20178ab70be4731bc14702b50fcc753

[Other] there's bones and muscles in here somewhere,
/u/archerofdawn [154cm | CW 157 | GW 88 | -7 | NB]
Created: Thu Oct 27 18:32:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59rksj/theres_bones_and_muscles_in_here_somewhere/
---
now if only I can shed this fat like some grossly oversized triple-layered sweater instead of unraveling it one stitch at a time.

[Goal] Holy shit I fit into an xs at American Apparel..
/u/frailraven [5'10 | CW 117 | LW 115 | F20]
Created: Thu Oct 27 18:31:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59rklo/holy_shit_i_fit_into_an_xs_at_american_apparel/
---
http://i.imgur.com/TpmhpdP.jpg

[Meme/Humor] I need you as much as I need food
/u/GrammarNaughtsy [5'3" | 102 | GW: 98 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 27 18:06:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59rg7n/i_need_you_as_much_as_i_need_food/
---
I don't.

[Help] Oh man you guys
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 105 | 17.68 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 27 18:05:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59rfxg/oh_man_you_guys/
---
I just binged 2500 cals. I'm not purging but I fucking hate myself right now how do I not purge tho I feel so sick and my bf wont let me

[Discussion] Weird ED fantasies..
/u/ResurrectionOfMarion
Created: Thu Oct 27 17:48:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59rcyq/weird_ed_fantasies/
---
Does anybody else ever dream and fantasise about being pregnant purely for having a bump and a reason to eat whatever you want? It's kinda sick but whenever I bloat and want to wear something tight I'm like 'I wish I was actually pregnant so I had an excuse'. Weeeeeeird. Also when fasting, almost EVERY night I have dreams about binging then wake up feeling guilty as hell even though I had 0 kcal the previous day.

[Discussion] when you burn calories do you take advantage of the deficit and eat more, or eat the same as usual and net less for the day?
/u/namelessgia
Created: Thu Oct 27 17:39:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59rbbq/when_you_burn_calories_do_you_take_advantage_of/
---
firstly, when i say "eat more" i mean to have a total calorie count that's close to what it would be on days you don't exercise, just you've had more because you've burnt some off. i'm sure most of you got that but i just wanted to clarify in case. sorry for the long question, i hope it makes sense! i burnt a fair amount of calories today and it got me wondering what you all do!

[Goal] Okay my goals from now to Christmas
/u/loving_life0_0
Created: Thu Oct 27 17:07:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59r5ni/okay_my_goals_from_now_to_christmas/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Cals when sick?
/u/capture_the_excite
Created: Thu Oct 27 16:54:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59r3d4/cals_when_sick/
---
Does anybody know if you burn more calories when you're sick? I like to think that I do and I've been eating more while I'm sick which makes me feel horrible. If I'm burning more than usual then I guess it would be okay.

[Meme/Humor] Anybody else find this to be MOSTLY accurate???
/u/Katiari [6'3" | 229 lbs. CW | 28.6 BMI | 175 GW | F]
Created: Thu Oct 27 16:13:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59qvrw/anybody_else_find_this_to_be_mostly_accurate/
---
http://imgur.com/a/diisJ

[Help] i need help.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 27 15:38:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59qp0l/i_need_help/
---
guys, i'm seriously at a loss right now...

my mom finally decided to stop being complacent and silent about my eating and say:

"i've watched how much you've been eating... and you're practically starving yourself. i'm sorry, but i can't see you doing that to yourself.. you're all ready skinny i don't understand why you want to lose more weight..."

she kept going on and on about it till she finally said she won't let me eat so little anymore and i know her - she's going to bring this up around my family and it's going to be extremely awkward until i start eating more. i'm just so upset because i'm only four pounds away from my first ever goal weight... four goddamn pounds... and with how much i've been eating lately (between 450 and 550 calories) i would be reaching it sometime between next friday and next monday (i'm currently losing between 1.5 lbs and 2 lbs a week).
i'm so goddamn afraid of upping my calories to 900 and 1200 a day - what if i gain everything back? will i still lose weight eating that much? 900 calories? 1200 calories? won't i gain??

agh. i don't want to throw this all away... i'm so goddamn close to my goal and this has to happen??
i'm so torn because i know that if i keep eating so little my family is going to take action and thats the last thing i want and need but i'm so afraid of gaining weight from upping my intake from 450 - 500 calories to 900 - 1200.... i'm so convinced i won't lose weight anymore... i just want to get to my goal.

what should i do? because i'm so lost and i need your help.. you're a lovely community and i seriously have no one to talk to about this.

[Rant/Rave] does anyone else get seriously triggered by period bloat?
/u/clamshells [5'7 | 115 | 18.0 | f]
Created: Thu Oct 27 15:23:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59qm2z/does_anyone_else_get_seriously_triggered_by/
---
even when i rationally know that i'm looking and feeling bigger because of my period, i still get so panicked and just want to lie down and die. and of course it's so much harder to restrict on my period so then i end up eating way more anyway...

and then after it's over i go back to normal and wait for next month's freak-out lol

ugh. i'm just pissed because i'm period-fat and i *know* i'm gonna look like a pig in my halloween costume.

anyone else?

[Help] I'm bloated and it won't go away
/u/OperatingOnScientist [5'3 | 128.6lbs | 23.41 | F | UGW 100lbs]
Created: Thu Oct 27 15:07:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59qj3j/im_bloated_and_it_wont_go_away/
---
I've lost over a stone but I'm so bloated it looks like I've put on a stone instead of losing any :( I'm not eating too much salty foods so I'm so confused. Does anyone know how to lose this bloat? I'm so scared that it won't go stop and it makes me want to cry

[Rant/Rave] Shouldn't have weighed myself today.
/u/wanskie [5'5 | cw: 135 | bmi: 22.5 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 27 14:49:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59qfhk/shouldnt_have_weighed_myself_today/
---
I thought I was doing good but I weighed myself and I gained two more pounds within the last month. It doesn't seem like a lot but I'm literally 5 pounds away from my heaviest weight.

I was so in love with the way I was starting to look in June. I graduated and looked so small in my dress and my arms were so skinny.

I feel so disgusting and I'm in such a depressed state of mind all the time and it's not helping because I just want to binge all the time and have no energy to work out. :-(

[Help] Bloated face
/u/kickkkasss [5'5 | CW:134 | GW:110 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 27 14:47:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59qf3z/bloated_face/
---
Does anyone else's face get super bloated after a binge? I've been binging for like a week now and every time I look in the mirror my face looks so fat but I can't tell if it's actually fatter or all in my head.

[Other] I have strep throat
/u/peony_princess [6'0" | 128.5 | 16.75 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 27 14:05:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59q6c1/i_have_strep_throat/
---
...which sucks, but it also means it hurts to eat anything, which means people are very sympathetic to me only being able to drink water and tea. yay?

[Help] Pants Sizes and Trust Issues
/u/stealthmode_activate [5'1 | Moo | Ugh | -60 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 27 14:00:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59q5ab/pants_sizes_and_trust_issues/
---
So I've mentioned elsewhere that the only thing holding up my pants is literally the fat in my ass. A couple weeks back I had to buy new pj pants as mine were dropping to the floor, and today I bought another pair by a different brand. Both are the same size, but I can't find sizing information anywhere online to gauge if the size I bought is the *real* size or *vanity* sizing. (René Rofé and Yawn but not Yawn London, if by chance anyone has bought the same pants and has some vague idea as to whether or not the sizing is actually real size)

Any pointers on how to determine if an item is vanity or true size without having your own waist measurements available (I don't trust that I'm measuring myself accurately)? I'd be over the moon if I thought for even a moment that I'd seriously dropped three pants sizes, but I'm having a lot of difficulty believing that. :/

[Thinspo] Marin Crampe is a pole dancer and her body inspires me daily - she's delicate but so strong at the same time.
/u/caithaa [5'7|122|19|one day at a time 🌼]
Created: Thu Oct 27 13:52:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59q3rh/marin_crampe_is_a_pole_dancer_and_her_body/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HROqflUrGI

[Rant/Rave] muh legs || down to 52.8kg || actual rave
/u/Lady_Anarchy [169cm | CW: 53kg | GW: 50kg | BMI: 18.56 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 27 13:42:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59q1nt/muh_legs_down_to_528kg_actual_rave/
---
https://i.redd.it/pxqpw9aul2ux.gif

[Thinspo] Calling all fall & winter thinspo!
/u/SoFetchBetch [5'8 F CW:115 GW:105 LW:107 HW:138 WL:24]
Created: Thu Oct 27 13:34:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59q03c/calling_all_fall_winter_thinspo/
---
Hey guys, can we have a cold weather thinspo thread? I need some extra motivation to stay away from the bad foods coming up this weekend haha.

Also recipes for low cal fall & winter treats would be cool. Personally I like to add nutmeg and cinnamon to black coffee for low cal pumpkin spice. They also have black pumpkin spice coffee at Wawa if you live near one! I do the same thing with adding cocoa powder, cashew milk, and monk fruit extract to coffee for a low cal hot chocolate feel. Recipes for hot cocoa and cookies would be a lifesaver.

[Rant/Rave] The last 10 lbs (sad rant)
/u/whydoeshewantit
Created: Thu Oct 27 13:24:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59pxsz/the_last_10_lbs_sad_rant/
---
Hey guys. I usually post with a different username but this is a pretty delressed rant and I don't want it in my post history on that account. I've been here since almost the beginning and I just love the hell out of you people. You helped me get to my lowest weight ever and you've been with me through some incredible highs and lows (& not just on the scale lol.) Anyway on to the self pity party. ***[skip to the bottom for the part where I ask for advice.]

I've been going through some tough times lately. A bad relationship ended violently and I was depressed and eating like shit for over a week after and I ruined all my summer progress. :( I was finally getting back to my lowest weight (107) at 111 after a good 3 day fast and then I went through that binge period and I'm constantly hovering between 114 and 116 since. It's driving me crazy. For some reason I can't stop binging at night ;-; Some days I check the scale and I'm almost back at 120 which I don't even remember the last time I weighed that much. It makes me feel so out of control. Like I'll never get back to 107. And I'm destined to balloon back to my HW of 138. Please dear god no...

I've also been weak to eating dairy which I try to avoid because it makes my acne/skin terrible and I just keep eating cheese and butter on toast ;-; ;-; ;-; idk why even... I find myself craving the carbs and salt and I do gross things like add salt to the butter after it's spread. Ugh! So nasty!! Empty carbs like bread and pasta are on my very unsafe foods list. I have pcos and eating those foods or sugary foods makes me crave it even more so its like this cycle I can't seem to escape.

I know what I want. And I sometimes stay strong. But even eating safe foods is triggering binges lately. It used to be so easy for me to subsist on coffee and tea and cucumbers. I'd go days and days eating so little and not even thinking about it. Now my scumbag brain comes up with excuses late at night about why I can eat bad foods.. "oh well, 115 is pretty good. You're still much smaller than you used to be. And this way people won't say anything to you and make you uncomfortable. You *should* eat more calories for the day. It's healthier to be 115." But like... eating crappy food isn't the path to recovery!! It's just weakness.

I just now decided to make my new GW 105 so I'm 10 lbs from my goals. It seems like so little to most I'm sure and people love to joke about how women always want to lose 10 lbs. But to me this seems like a gigantic mountain and I am so helpless to climb it. I miss my clothes fitting me perfectly and looping my belts to the smallest setting. I wanted to be lower this Halloween than last year. I was 107 last year and now I'm a disgusting lard. Fuck. Why did I let this happen. :(((

***Ok... I'm done complaining and feeling sorry for myself. Anyone have any tips for getting back to the mindset where restricting is a no brainer? I'm constantly obsessing about food right now and I fucking hate it. The only thing that helps is looking at thinspo when I think about eating and getting naked in front of my mirror. If I try to eat anyway putting the mirror next to me makes me stop but sometimes I hide it so I can binge. I need some solid rules/strategies to avoid this.

I know that if I commit to no/low carb and no dairy I'll stop craving it. I'm thinking about attempting a fast, 1-3 days and buying some kombucha to fill my stomach once it gets empty. I've read that the bacteria which feeds on sugar can get out of control and kombucha has good bacteria in it so I guess my logic is that I'll bolster the good bacteria by going on a kombucha fast. Ugh this sucks. Please tell me I can do it guys :( sorry I'm being so pathetic. I just need to find some strength.

[Rant/Rave] NSV: Super proud of myself!!!! Binged, but ended up going for a run
/u/LazyFawn [165cm | 57,6kg | 21,2 | -7,4 | 17 f]
Created: Thu Oct 27 13:21:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59pxbi/nsv_super_proud_of_myself_binged_but_ended_up/
---
my first run in 2 months guys!!

my plan today was eating just an egg for breakfast, and perhaps a little dinner in case my parents wouldn't buy the whole "i'm nauseous" ordeal.

but i got home from school, and i ended up just sitting on the couch eating chocolate and ugh. i ate for almost 491 calories (which is actually a small binge for me, so i'm pretty proud there too actually). but the bad (well, good) thing is that i can't purge, as i have a vomit related anxiety.

so i pushed myself to go for a run to burn off the calories.. and it went super well, i even enjoyed it a bit, which is rare for me lol. endomondo says i burned 422 kcal, but i think it might be lower as it was just 5 km in 37 min.

anyway, i'm well under what i planned to eat, and mfp says i've eaten for 141 kcal today, which i'm pretty proud of

also i just wanted to say thanks to this amazing community for keeping me strong on the bad days, even if i really just lurk. you're all great <3

[Help] going home
/u/DieMikrowelle [5'5| 136lbs | 22,7 | 50lbs | W]
Created: Thu Oct 27 13:09:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59puq6/going_home/
---
I'm currently living abroad in belgium and I'm doing alright. tomorrow I'll go home until Wednesday (long weekend) and my mum already planned all the meals!

i need help and inspiration to stay strong and not binge on her delicious glorious food. :/

it's so hard. please send me your thoughts!

[Rant/Rave] The last 10 lbs (sad rant)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 27 13:08:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59puls/the_last_10_lbs_sad_rant/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] I feel like I'm required to binge for other people's birthdays.
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 180 | -70 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 27 13:02:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59pt77/i_feel_like_im_required_to_binge_for_other/
---
We are going to dinner, if I don't eat I'm rude. There's cake, of I do t eat a small piece, it's rude. If I ditch them, it's rude. I just want to lose weight in peace!

[Rant/Rave] It's hard having an SO with an ED.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | no clue | went to treatment | send help]
Created: Thu Oct 27 12:58:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59psdq/its_hard_having_an_so_with_an_ed/
---
I posted a little while ago how I met my current girlfriend when I was in residential treatment. She (used to) mostly restrict with a bit of bingeing and purging. Well, her bingeing wasn't necessarily eating mass quantities of food, it was like eating lots of unhealthy foods in normal quantities, but frequently. E.g. having a donut for breakfast, McDonald's for lunch, pizza for dinner.

Anyways, I have been restricting quite a bit since Monday. My maintenance (according to the dietician at residential treatment) is around 2200 because of my high activity level. Since Monday, I've been eating sub 800 calories. Still a lot, but way less than I've been eating since like, June.

I get so worried that I might be triggering her. Despite my restriction, she has still been eating adequately. But it makes her sad that I don't eat. She says she misses being able to cook nice breakfasts for me, going on our late night ice cream runs, etc. But honestly? Part of that disgusts me. I don't want to eat donuts or french fries or ice cream (aside from Halo Top haha) anymore. I'm sick of it all.

Why am I such a fucking hypocrite? I would NEVER want her doing what I'm doing but I can't stop myself from fucking submitting to my eating disorder. Last night she begged me to drink some Ensure since I didn't have dinner. But I couldn't. I just couldn't. I wanted to, for her, but I couldn't get myself to drink it. I feel so bad.

Another reason why I'm a horrible person - I cannot WAIT until she goes back to work so I can restrict in peace. I won't have to be around her all day while she eats a piece of cheesecake or a bowl of Ramen. I won't have to be so sedentary just sitting on the couch with her most of the day watching movies and shows. I can do what I want.

Ugh.

I also have these intrusive thoughts that I could break up with her at any moment. I could break up with her, she'd move out, then I wouldn't have anyone to recover for. I would be in the same predicament I was in in June when I was relapsing so hard, with no reason to get better. But then I'd lose the love of my life because of my fucking eating disorder. It breaks my heart that I even *think* about breaking up with her just so I can stave myself.

[Goal] My jeans don't fit me anymore.
/u/tinybites [5'6" | F | sw: 185 | cw: 153 | gw: 115]
Created: Thu Oct 27 12:58:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59psbz/my_jeans_dont_fit_me_anymore/
---
About a month and a half ago I decided I'm going to start wearing what I want and start stepping outside my comfort zone. I love the "vintage / librarian chic" look but just never felt comfortable wearing dresses daily. I'm almost 24 and usually wear skinny jeans and band tees. I want to just feel more put together and in control of my life.

I've been doing so well on not going over in calories and not binging for a full 50 days today. I'm down 29 lbs but I've been feeling like I really can't tell at all. Yesterday I ran out to the post office and just went to throw on some jeans for the first time in at least a month. My jeans don't fit anymore. They are WAY too big, even belted. This is such a good feeling, and a push to keep going even harder.

[Thinspo] The singer of Crystal Fighters is my Thursday Thinspo
/u/Scars_N_smiles [5'5" 134.5 21.5 F]
Created: Thu Oct 27 12:21:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59pkt9/the_singer_of_crystal_fighters_is_my_thursday/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1C7-bA5TibY

[Thinspo] The singer of Crystal Fighters is my Thursday Thinspo
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 27 12:11:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59pish/the_singer_of_crystal_fighters_is_my_thursday/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=26&v=1C7-bA5TibY

[Goal] Anyone want to join me in committing to a binge-free week DAY FOUR
/u/mmm_erythritol
Created: Thu Oct 27 12:09:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59piam/anyone_want_to_join_me_in_committing_to_a/
---
*"Don't give up what you want most for what you want in the moment."*

Hey all! We're over the hump now–let's keep it going strong through the weekend!

Calling all who have promised to be BINGE-FREE!

/u/ToffeeCup

/u/infinitegoldstyle

/u/shortchair

/u/neveraunicorn

/u/possiblycurious

/u/UnrequitedOrgasms

/u/InSkyLimitEra

/u/gastastic

/u/alliwantistogiveup

/u/somanyjellyrolls

/u/stormyeyed94

/u/enjupoint

/u/Kishin_

/u/lymfp

/u/What_u_callme

/u/Moonlight_bae

/u/neuro-fuzzy

/u/fckk

/u/qwertyldn

/u/throwaway0908123

/u/capture_the_excite

/u/mailmesnails

/u/fringeandbinge

/u/RetailSlaveNo1

/u/IAMABaguetteAMA

/u/tattoo987654321

/u/frameworkautoco

/u/chelowelXo

/u/DontMindMeJustBingin

/u/whyaremysockswet

/u/reggiesan

/u/Phantomsgf

/u/Hummingpenguin

/u/aerienne

/u/bannaberry

/u/DieMikrowelle

/u/takingheatfromthesun

/u/-kaneki-ken-

/u/SanguineSmiles

/u/mermaid_puppy

/u/K_iwi

/u/theraindropsx46

/u/WhyRedTape

/u/leatherhoff

/u/goddamnroommate

/u/dnedna

/u/capture_the_excite

/u/whatupmyknitta

/u/b00mshaka

**Today please check in and tell us:**

**Did you accomplish your goals yesterday?**

**How is day four going? Any other goals today?**

**What is the most important reason you want to stop bingeing? We all probably have similar reasons, but I think it will be good to remind each other–and ourselves–what those are.**

GOOOO! :)

[Discussion] Your personal thinspo?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'4 |113lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 27 10:55:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59p2ud/your_personal_thinspo/
---
Slightly misleading title because I am talking literally.


I realized that everyone has this image that they hold of *themselves* in their head. Where they are at UGW and doing something. For some it's a vision of them walking down the hall of their new careers, thin and beautiful. For others it's a vision of themselves simply putting laundry away with their collarbones on fleek.


But we all have some sort of *idea* of ourselves. Whether it's how we feel, what we see in the mirror, or other people noticing us.


What's your personal thinsporation?

[Thinspo] Thinspo x-post from r/kpopfap
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'4 |113lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 27 09:57:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59oqzm/thinspo_xpost_from_rkpopfap/
---
http://imgur.com/a/pTV37

[Rant/Rave] Silently flipping so much shit.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [Adipose Industries]
Created: Thu Oct 27 09:46:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59oomx/silently_flipping_so_much_shit/
---
Carry on from [this thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59giyq/silently_flipping_my_shit/), but I promise not to make any more posts about this person. She's just been on my case ALL FUCKING DAY and I need to rant about it this ONE LAST TIME before I start ignoring her. For the record, she is the one who keeps messaging ME.

She's desperate for me to say that calories don't matter. She's desperate for me to say she can eat what she wants, and lose weight. She's desperate for a fucking magic wand.

First, she got upset about the water weight.

>"Is the 5lbs I've lost this week just water weight then?"

"Mostly, because you've been doing low carb with the shakes, but you'll have burned some fat too! You might regain a little water if you drink alcohol this weekend or eat more carbs at your party"

>"So I'll ruin it all??"

"No, not at all. As long as you don't overdo the calories, it'll only be water gain, and then gone within a week when you are back to your low carb eating plan"

>"What snacks can I have with the shakes to lose the water weight then?" (*She wants to have the shakes and a few snacks*)

"Leafy vegetables, chicken and other lean meats, eggs, nuts, cheese or even oil.. anything low in carbohydrates, but just watch your calories"

>"SO BORING FOOD?"

"... Sorry.."

Then her lunch.

>"Will a potato make me gain water weight?"

"It's a starchy vegetable, so it contains a few carbs, so you'll get a little water from it but not much at all - but you most likely wont be on a low carb today if you have one and then your shakes and other food"

>"My friend says having a potato for lunch wont make me gain water weight!"

"Not a lot, no. You'll burn through the glycogen before long"

>"Oh.. okay well I'll start low carb next week. I'll have a potato for lunch. Is it still healthy?"

"Yep! Potatoes are good for you!"

>"Okay".... *-few minutes later-* "I've ordered a pot of cheese to go with it."

Then she is asking the same questions over, and over, and over, and over again hoping for different answers.

>"I had butter on my potato is that okay?"

"Well yes it's fine, as long as you didn't have too many calories of it and end up eating a calorie surplus today. Butter is quite calorie dense though, so you might want to weigh out a moderate portion instead of having loads to make sure it isn't too many calories."

>"But I never counted calories when I thin when I was younger, why do I have to count them to be thin now?"

"Because you want to lose weight. If you naturally ate the right amount of calories when you were younger to be as thin as you like, then thats great. But right now you're eating enough to be a higher weight than you want, and so need to eat fewer"

>"I don't understand how the thin people at work can eat more than me and stay thin though! They don't count calories, they told me!"

"Because whether they realise it or not, the calories they consume are all balanced out and keep them at a healthy weight. They don't eat more than they burn, and so don't gain weight."

>"So.. why do I need to count calories? Can't I just eat healthy and stop when I'm full like they do?"

"...You can, but you said you've been doing that already.. and you're a higher weight than you want to be. I suggested counting calories because the calories you are eating right now are not leading you to being as low a weight as you want, and counting them means you can make sure you're not eating too many, and so can lose weight.."

>"My co-worker is thin and she had loads of butter on her potato!!"

FINE STUFF YOUR FUCKIN FACE WITH BUTTER THEN JESUS H FUCKING CHRIST I ACTUALLY DON'T GIVE A FUCKING SHIT WHETHER YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT OR NOT. I'M TRYING TO HELP. STOP MESSAGING ME. omg.

I am done.

Sorry I really needed to get this off my chest.



[Rant/Rave] Lowest weight for weeks and my scale didn't record it....
/u/bigeyessmallthighs
Created: Thu Oct 27 09:41:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59onob/lowest_weight_for_weeks_and_my_scale_didnt_record/
---
Got excited to see I'm 5 lbs down from when I started restricting in earnest again and my stupid "smart" WiFi scale didn't send the weight to my fitbit app! I entered it in manually but it's not the same...

[Tip] DAE notice that going to bed hungry results in weight loss?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'4 |113lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 27 09:26:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59okrh/dae_notice_that_going_to_bed_hungry_results_in/
---
I recently changed my eating habits to consume all my calories in the first half of the day which leaves me starved at night. But the hungrier I am when I go to bed, the more weight I lose in the morning.


This morning I hit my newest lowest weight btw! 111 lbs! Not ready to update flair just in case, but I feel like I'm on to something here!

[Discussion] Wintergirls
/u/c_marier [5'6"| 113.4| 18.3 | -13 | 22F]
Created: Thu Oct 27 09:17:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59oivd/wintergirls/
---
What are your opinions on this book? I've noticed that most people fall into one of two camps: the concerned "this is a step-by-step guide of how to be anorexic" and the people literally reading it for thinspo and using it as a step-by-step guide to anorexia.

But personally, I found the book to be more inspiration to recover than to relapse. I think Anderson does an excellent job of showing how isolating and all-consuming an eating disorder becomes. There is nothing romantic or alluring about Lia's loosening grip on reality and the way she loses her personality/individuality along each pound, gradually becoming nothing but a dictionary of calorie counts. Lia's thought process is so accurately described that I researched the author because I was convinced that she had to have experienced an eating disorder personally. I remember reading the book at sixteen and being horrified to see myself reflected in the pages - prior to reading I had assumed I was just watching my weight and that there was nothing disordered about my obsessive habits and strict food guidelines or exercise regimes. I have read it several times since high school and each time it is more heartbreaking than inspiring to starve. I can't believe that my younger self was this wintergirl and I can't believe I have been stuck for so long.

Also I found the writing style to be breathtakingly beautiful. The extended metaphors and dreamlike structure have influenced my own writing style tremendously. I love the poetic feel of the blur between reality and Lia's imagination.

Anyway, what are your thoughts? It always confuses me a bit when people talk about it being thinspo. I get that there is a whole chapter composed of "must not eat" but the depiction of anorexia is far from enticing and the ending paints recovery as the only option for survival. To me, the last pages are always depressing because I don't think I will ever reach the point where recovery is my only option. I think I will always float in the limbo of just barely underweight and "not really having enough of a problem" and I'll just be stuck and hungry and disgusted with my body for all of my life.

[Discussion] It's 11am here and I feel crazy, I feel alone, I'm fluctuating between 2 extremes. How is your day going? I just want to feel connected :(
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 120lbs | 20.60 | GW 115 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 27 09:10:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59ohgm/its_11am_here_and_i_feel_crazy_i_feel_alone_im/
---
I'm having one of those days where I woke up and deemed it a "binge" day. I planned to give in to every impulse, not think twice, get whatever I'm craving, etc. and "start new on Friday after you get this out of your system."

And then 30 minutes later I deemed it a, "Get a large coffee and coast through the day feeling light and successful and even LIGHTER tomorrow!"

And then 30 minutes later I managed to convince myself, "No, binge day."

And then 30 minutes later....you know.....D':

And it's not just a simple, "Bingeing", "Not Bingeing", "Bingeing", "Not bingeing"

It's all the fucking emotions associated with each decision. With the "bingeing" decision comes a type of excitement, dread, pressure, anxiety, defeat, disgust, euphoria. With the "restricting" decision comes RELIEF, motivation, superiority.

Yo I am RISING and CRASHING and RISING and CRASHING.


How the hell am I supposed to function on a productive level (in all OTHER areas of life) when my brain is ripping me constantly in opposite directions. It is insane.

Thanks for not making me feel alone...idk...how are you?!

EDIT: On especially bad days, I will give my BF a heads up that "ED is really loud in my head today and don't take my distance as personal" and he's totally supportive about it. Today he said, "Well you could NOT binge but ALSO NOT restrict today but allow yourself to eat more than usual." - LOLOLLOLOOLOLOLOL OKAY YEAH LEMME DO THAT! I'LL DO THAT! I HADN'T THOUGHT OF SUCH A SIMPLE SOLUTION :'D :'D :'D

He meant well so I said, "Thanks a lot for the support I appreciate it" but cringed inside at the naive innocence of his lil heart.

[Rant/Rave] I'm down to 102
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 105 | 17.68 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 27 08:58:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59of0s/im_down_to_102/
---
But I feel like death. I'm a heavy drinker. And I do so much stupid shit when I'm drunk. I hate it. I don't want to stop but I feel it on my body how badly it affects me. I just want to crawl in a hole. I'm a shitty girlfriend and friend and human. And I just hurt everywhere. I'm too young to feel this old you know? I can barely move but I need to keep walking so I can stay skinny. I'm killing myself. It's hard to admit but I know it.

[Help] how do you accurately measure your height?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 27 08:54:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59oe9h/how_do_you_accurately_measure_your_height/
---
this morning I used a tape measure to measure myself and found that I'm 5'1.75....I had thought I was barely 5'3. just now, I measured with a yardstick and it said I'm 5'2.75! which is most accurate? I'm panicking, I need to know for an accurate bmi calculation....thank you lovelies <3

[Discussion] At how much weight loss...
/u/rizzle_riz [5'4' | CW:141 | 24.89 | -18 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 27 08:54:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59oe8g/at_how_much_weight_loss/
---
At how much weight loss did you decided it was time to start buying new clothes? I've only lost about 14lbs but a lot of my jeans and athletic gear are starting to fit really loose except for maybe one or two things. I'm afraid to go out and buy new stuff because the holidays are coming and I'm expecting the worse (meaning I might not be able to control myself with food or i'm afraid my family will realize i'm not eating and insist I eat more and I will comply because I would hate to worry anyone or cause suspicion) I don't really have much money, so I'm just curious to know when you guys started buying new clothes?

[Rant/Rave] I was wrong about my height!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 27 08:03:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59o4ih/i_was_wrong_about_my_height/
---
I'm so freaked out!! I haven't measured my height in a while but I thought I was about 5'3 at 95 lbs, making my BMI 16.8. I just measured myself and I'm actually 5'1, which means my bmi is 18.0. It shouldn't matter so much but it does, I'm fatter than I thought. at least I can change my goal weight; maybe this explains why I didn't look as thin as others with a 16.8 BMI.

[Rant/Rave] When your scale decides to troll you.
/u/EmpireStateBitch [5'4" | CW 120 | GW 115 | UGW 100 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 27 08:00:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59o3xs/when_your_scale_decides_to_troll_you/
---
Stepped on the scale and it said 119.8 and I was so excited, that set me days ahead of my projections! I started making some food, and wanted to weigh myself again to see that magical number, so I moved my scale away from the wall. 123. It had been resting on the trim of the wall the first time, and as a result it was almost 4lbs off. :(

[Goal] Had a dream I was eating nonstop... woke up and I hit my first goal!!
/u/melcatx
Created: Thu Oct 27 07:57:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59o3ib/had_a_dream_i_was_eating_nonstop_woke_up_and_i/
---
I dreamed last night that I was eating endless waffles covered in chocolate. I was grossed out with myself. When I woke up and realized I hadn't eaten anything....HAPPIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD!!!!

I posted a couple weeks back about my new goals, and my first goal was 113 lb by halloween. My goal of "halloween" was actually today, since it's the first night I am wearing my costume.

I did it!!!! SOO EXCITED! It is a new low weight for me as well. My next goal is 111 lb, because that is underweight for my height (5'5"). I have 2 weeks to hit it. :D

[Intro] New here, EDNOS for 16 years; faced some hard times, gained a lot of weight, so miserable
/u/PooTeeWeet5 [5'5 | CW: 148lb of fat | BMI: 25 | Goal: 118 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 27 07:40:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59o0cz/new_here_ednos_for_16_years_faced_some_hard_times/
---
Hi, everyone. I'm so glad that I thought to look for a subreddit for support this morning. I've really hit rock bottom weight/misery wise. As TL;DR as I can get for a brief recap and why I'm here:

* I have dealt with anorexia and b/p since I was about 15yrs old

* I'm 5'5, lowest weight has been 118 - and it was then that I was at my happiest

* For the past few years I was able to maintain an alright weight between 125 and 130lbs, but in February 2015 my grandmother - whom I was very close to - passed away.

* Six months after her death, my mother killed herself.

* Since then my b/ping and just bingeing has gotten out of control. I even started binge drinking twice a week for about six months - but I've cut that out. My weight, obviously, has sky rocketed.

I have been so unhappy for so many reasons - besides the loss of my grandmother and mother - I feel stuck in a boring job, stuck in a city etc. And instead of trying to gain some control over my life and really work on my horrible eating habits and get to that body I want so much . . . I've just been a fat ass. I'm scared to go out in public, I hardly have any clothes to wear, I talk so awful to myself all the time.

I'm DONE with that. I want to be happy and proud when I look in the mirror. I want to not b/p anymore. I want to feel light and in control of at least one thing in my life.

Thanks for reading all this. I'm scared of failure, but excited by the fact that I really can do this and be the person I want to be. Sending hugs to you all today!

[Help] I've been pretty much eating one meal a day and most times throwing up that one (binge) meal but still haven't lost any weight.
/u/vuuv95 [5'4 | CW: 105 | GW: 95 | BMI: 18.2 | F ]
Created: Thu Oct 27 07:33:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59nz80/ive_been_pretty_much_eating_one_meal_a_day_and/
---
I don't understand what's going on with my body. I often work or go to uni for a whole day and don't eat and when I do eat that day I tend to binge and then throw it up, or only have one small meal and then binge later on and throw it all up. I then snack on a few fruits. I still haven't lost weight and I'm really confused. Any insight?

[Goal] I'm on my fourth day of not binging!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 27 07:02:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59nu05/im_on_my_fourth_day_of_not_binging/
---
I'm so happy, even if the damage I've made during the last month has become clear. I've gained twelve bloody lbs, but at least it's stopping now. I miss being at my lowest, but I've done it before and I can do it again. I'm just so happy I'm done binging. I hope it never happens again, and I hope I'll stay strong.

I hope that all of you guys have your next couple of days, weeks, months, years, decades, binge-free. I've started smoking and drinking more water and tea, so that helps a lot. Now that you're here, what's your best tips at preventing binges? I need any help i can get, even if I've made it past the hardest days.

Update: IVE ALMOST MADE IT!

I ate about a pinky-worth of Syrup and some water with vinegar, but I'm confident that I'm not going to binge. It's 8:55 now, and I go to sleep at 10. I'm so happy, and I'm kinda proud to be honest. I can't wait until tomorrow, though.

Update2: ITS 6:30 AM ON FRIDAY AND I MADE IT!

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support October 27, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Oct 27 06:08:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59nlu5/weekly_emotional_support_october_27_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

*****

Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 27, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Oct 27 06:07:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59nlte/daily_food_diary_october_27_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 27, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Goal] under 100lbs!
/u/k-w- [5'5 | CW 95 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 27 06:02:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59nl1i/under_100lbs/
---
I weighed myself this morning. 99.4lbs! I'm so happy right now, I haven't been under 100 since seventh grade. peep these collarbones http://imgur.com/a/FVoOH

next stop is 90! I'm hoping more comes off my thighs ugh

[Discussion] DAE get tingling in their toes?
/u/Hamily [5'4.5" | 91 | 15.62 | -49 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 27 04:52:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59nc8u/dae_get_tingling_in_their_toes/
---
Lately I've been fasting again and for the first time EVER, I'm getting the weirdest tingling sensations in my feet. It's not constant but comes in bursts.. it's almost like when your foot falls asleep and you move it, just without the numbness (and it's not really painful or anything).

Sigh. This probably means I need to cut it short but some insight would be fabulous regardless. Bummer.

[Rant/Rave] Back at it again...
/u/skullp00pl
Created: Thu Oct 27 04:31:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59n9v0/back_at_it_again/
---
When I was younger I had disordered eating tendencies after years of being very overweight, and having it pointed out to me over and over.

Things got better, I was started to eat better and feel okay. In the past year or two I gained about 15lbs. It doesn't sound like much to most people, but lately it has made me feel disgusting.

I have been getting physically sick while eating food, or at the thought of eating food, because I don't want to be gross anymore. I want to be thin. I talk with friends quite a bit about food and how much I want to "eat an entire loaf of bread," etc. But just below the surface I am sick to my stomach at the thought. I don't deserve to even eat a piece, I am disgusting for even thinking of eating it.

An extremely close friend of mine is struggling as well, we don't talk about it but I know she does. Even knowing that I feel almost terrified trying to talk about it with her. I feel terrified to talk to anyone about it. And now I'm here, alone, dreading the next meal I'll have to eat and how disgusting it will make me.

[Meme/Humor] Duolingo supporting proED
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 27 01:29:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59mrkr/duolingo_supporting_proed/
---
http://i.imgur.com/xm7cvEn.png

[Rant/Rave] Y'know, I guess one good thing happens after I binge.
/u/Just_a_Paper_Bag [5'8" | F]
Created: Thu Oct 27 01:13:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59mpws/yknow_i_guess_one_good_thing_happens_after_i_binge/
---
Since I'm always restricting, when I eat over my limit, I end up pooping it all out for a few hours.

And then still gain weight.

At least I get some quality time to play my dating sim games on my phone, while actively trying not to die.

[Rant/Rave] I may have a "normie" fasting buddy!
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 57.5 | GW ?? | 19.21/18.99 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 27 01:10:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59mpkf/i_may_have_a_normie_fasting_buddy/
---
There's a guy in the group of friends at university that I have a crush on and last night we went to a local museum to check out a Monet exhibit. We were getting drinks at our favorite bar and we were talking about trying to take care of ourselves while being stressed at school (ie less cigarettes, more running). And we got on the subject of fasting. It started as something that might be a problem but then we talked about the healthy benefits of fasting and what exactly goes on in your body (ketosis and such). We talked about fasting together and now I have a legit reason to fast and not get judged! Like, could this guy get any better?

I'M SO FUCKING EXCITED!!

[Meme/Humor] When someone I dislike starts to gain weight..
/u/Slippingonbananas [5'3 | 140 | ?? | 20 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 27 00:57:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59mo64/when_someone_i_dislike_starts_to_gain_weight/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/d1c2d96e2eed4334b6f62cf824385554?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=80d5a25bb00cdfe194be099c69490ba3

[Goal] Back under 120. Thank goodness.
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Thu Oct 27 00:25:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59mknx/back_under_120_thank_goodness/
---
Mobile, no flare sorry

I had the worst month. People dying, fights, lost my job... all kinds of shit. I get scared sometimes when I dont log into this account for a long time and i dont immediately see our posts in my feed... like... scared they deleted us. I don't post thinspo on instagram, just memes bc im scared of getting reported. I need you guys. I can't talk to anyone else about this stuff.

I was over 120 a few days ago. It was bad. Binging and purging like crazy. Purged every day for like a week... idek how i lost weight again... maybe I was constipated and took a massive BM and that's how I lost weight. I gotta get back to 115. I'm 118.8 now. I feel gross.

I might save up to get my lips and cheeks filled so people won't comment how hollow I look. If your face looks healthy you can get away with saying it's just your metabolism.

Time to start restricting again. Time to get my life in order. Fuck.

[Discussion] Receiving snacks as gifts & controlling yourself around them?
/u/caithaa [5'7|122|19|one day at a time 🌼]
Created: Wed Oct 26 22:54:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59m9ln/receiving_snacks_as_gifts_controlling_yourself/
---
I've been receiving a lot of junk food as gifts for big/little week in my sorority, and I usually just don't buy junk food because I have no control once it's in my house. The thing is, I can't throw away what my big has bought for me, because she's spent so much money and effort and love on them. It's like jars full of candy, bars and bars of chocolate, cookies and cake and popcorn and nutella. Halloween and big/little reveal is coming up, which means a loooot of pictures. I wanted to fast, but I have fresh-made really expensive vegan cookies & cake that will go bad if I don't eat them. It's not like I can treat myself either because I actually have been eating above my calories the whole week using exams as an excuse, and now I am SO FUCKED.

For people who live with their families/SOs, how do you control yourself from binging on shared food?

[Rant/Rave] Studying and starving
/u/aaanxiousthrowawayyy
Created: Wed Oct 26 22:28:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59m640/studying_and_starving/
---
I'm in my school's 24 hour student center on lots of adderall (to focus and to make the hunger stop) on hour 13 of my fast and there's a student no more than 10 feet away scarfing down a ridiculous amount of McDonald's. This is my first legit relapse after kind of not being in recovery for three years and this is so hard I just really want a handful of fries but I know how much I'd hate myself for it. Only at 522 calories for today (huge breakfast that triggered the fast) and I worked out for over an hour because I want this so bad. I wish people would respect the no eating at the computers rule! Just going to blast music, take another bump, and focus on physics I guess.

[Rant/Rave] I feel like I messed up
/u/MeccaToast
Created: Wed Oct 26 21:39:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59lyya/i_feel_like_i_messed_up/
---
I've been eating 500-800 a day for the past few weeks and dropped about 8lbs. Today I messed up. I was in public for most of the day during several mealtimes. I didn't eat as much as everyone else, I passed on the sweets and snacks but I couldn't refuse the horribly large lunch. I didnt eat al of it but still, its the end of he day and I've had about 1500 and no time to work out. I'll go back to my regular diet tomorrow and work out extra but right now my stomach hurts from all the food and I feel like I've undone all my hard work.

[Help] [help] Not sure what to do with my calorie intake. Opinions?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 26 21:27:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59lx5w/help_not_sure_what_to_do_with_my_calorie_intake/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] DAE's eating disorder cause them to spend way too much money on food?
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 127.4 | 18.5/18.8 | -19.6 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 26 21:25:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59lwt2/daes_eating_disorder_cause_them_to_spend_way_too/
---
Recently I've been spending around $20 *a day* on food on average. I can barely afford half of that. By the end of the last several months, I've been having to get extra money from friends and family just to have any food at all. I'm really trying to do better. But it's a big problem right now. Can anyone else relate?

[Rant/Rave] Relationship going to shit right now, and I find myself wanting my ED to be out of control
/u/Sellout_Chef
Created: Wed Oct 26 21:06:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59ltrq/relationship_going_to_shit_right_now_and_i_find/
---
My workaholic spouse stopped caring about me, and I find myself WANTING my ED to get really, really bad. I'm still a "healthy" BMI, and I've lurked here and had dark thoughts about food, but never a full blown disorder. I actually opened a spread sheet to try and figure out how much nutrition I can get under 100 calories/day. I always wanted to cross the border into "just barely underweight", but now I wonder what I'd look like at 16 or 17 BMI. I feel like maybe if my stomach hurts, my heart won't. Or maybe if I get skinny enough, someone else will love me. Or maybe if I end up in the hospital, she'll pay attention to me again.

I don't know why I'm posting this. I think I just want to have a record of it. Thanks for being a safe place, and letting me not have to be "alone in the darkness".

[Goal] Five pounds and twelve inches of hair ago. My motivation to keep from binging through winter...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 26 20:50:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59lr96/five_pounds_and_twelve_inches_of_hair_ago_my/
---
https://i.redd.it/hxr2i83blxtx.png

[Meme/Humor] when u in binge mode at a party and cant stop
/u/throwaway03199519 [glob]
Created: Wed Oct 26 20:42:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59lpxx/when_u_in_binge_mode_at_a_party_and_cant_stop/
---
http://i.imgur.com/rNakVYB.gif

when u in binge mode at a party
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 26 20:41:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59lpso/when_u_in_binge_mode_at_a_party/
---
http://i.imgur.com/rNakVYB.gif

[Help] Question of the Day.
/u/BlackGirlSteeze
Created: Wed Oct 26 20:40:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59lpmo/question_of_the_day/
---
Bonespo or thinspo? Which do you like best?

[Rant/Rave] This video tears me up. Both crying and ripping me apart. more in comments.
/u/CowOffTheFarm [65" | 145 | 24.41 | - | F | GW 120]
Created: Wed Oct 26 20:37:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59lp7w/this_video_tears_me_up_both_crying_and_ripping_me/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-gTCXXh0cg

When u can't stop binging all da cake
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 26 20:37:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59lp7h/when_u_cant_stop_binging_all_da_cake/
---
http://i.imgur.com/3ZgLXMs.jpg

[Discussion] Anyone else never stop moving?
/u/antkings [GW 105 | BMI 20.77 | -79lbs | Male 20]
Created: Wed Oct 26 20:11:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59lky2/anyone_else_never_stop_moving/
---
When I'm not forced to sit down, I never stop walking around, even when I'm scrolling through my phone. I sit in class, in the car, and lay in bed to sleep and do homework. That makes me couch potato enough. I'm about 13000 steps per day now-- and I spend a LOT of time driving or in class. Anyone else have this insane compulsion to keep moving to burn calories?

Today 10/26 118 lbs
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 26 20:03:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59ljn3/today_1026_118_lbs/
---
http://i.imgur.com/fuohu4J.jpg

[Help] If I throw it up, should I log it?
/u/antkings [GW 105 | BMI 20.77 | -79lbs | Male 20]
Created: Wed Oct 26 19:54:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59li5x/if_i_throw_it_up_should_i_log_it/
---
Or should I log a portion of it maybe? I'm pretty sure it all comes out, but I never know and I am worried about not adding calories and eating something else...

[Discussion] Purge
/u/antkings [GW 105 | BMI 20.77 | -79lbs | Male 20]
Created: Wed Oct 26 19:36:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59lf6u/purge/
---
After I eat anything my brain doesn't consider a safe food (protein bars, veggies and fruits), I end up purging within the next five minutes. When I put the food in my body, my stomach expands and I start to feel like a failure, and so heavy. When I throw it up, it's almost euphoric. Does anyone else kind of... love the feeling of purging?

(Mobile, no flair, sorry)

[Rant/Rave] so depressed i have no appetite yet still obsessing
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 106 lb | 21.34 | -21.5| Female]
Created: Wed Oct 26 18:58:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59l8x9/so_depressed_i_have_no_appetite_yet_still/
---
heart broken this weekend. cant stop thinking about what i did wrong. was it refusing to eat the bread at the first dinner? was it eating too much at the second? is it because i was so much fatter IRL then i look in pictures? is it because i went to the gym where other girls dont need to do that? Ive never felt so worthless and the thought of food repuleses me yet i want to want it to make me feel better. and also to drop weight so maybe someone else will ever be interested in me. fuck guys. this sucks

[Rant/Rave] Lowest weight...I'm scared and waiting for the other shoe to drop :/
/u/ifitmakesmehappy [5'5 | 125| -45| F]
Created: Wed Oct 26 18:25:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59l3dw/lowest_weightim_scared_and_waiting_for_the_other/
---
I’m at the lowest weight I have ever been probably since I was 10 (I’m 21). I look great. Same old story: overweight as a kid, got into lifting at 18, started dieting when I was 19 [IIFYM], got into binging/running off calories. Binge phase. Cut Phase. Binge phase. Now i’m on my third cut/ time losing weight.


I could stop right now but...i don’t know if I want to. Or if i even can. I’m restricting a lot and it’s not even as hard as it was before? Maybe because of the EC stack, but even before, I used the EC stack and it seemed harder. Right now I’ve eaten 700 calories for today and I burned off 200. And I feel pretty full? I feel like I’ve developed anorexia (not anorexia nervosa, but anorexia, the medical condition).


Last time I ate anything “unhealthy” was a month ago, I ate at maintenance, I had beer and pizza and other stuff with my friend. But I got right back to the wagon and I told myself I could have some junk food after halloween. I wanted to make some slutty brownies to reward myself for sticking with the cut. Halloween is here and I don’t even want to eat anything that calorific. I even forgot I told myself that, but one of my friends reminded me. I’m half scared to (because calories) but also, I really just feel no need to. I keep putting off going to this new restaurant in town my friends want me to go to, I keep putting off eating pizza and ice cream (my favorite foods) even if they “fit my calories” and I don’t know if it’s because i’m scared to eat them and start another binge phase, or because I just have trained my body in the past 3 months to be full on “whole” foods….




I keep taking pictures of myself, almost as if I don’t capture how I look right now, I will never have photographic evidence when I become obese/overweight again (ugh, stfu brain). There’s not a picture of me I don’t like at this weight, my face looks amazing, my eyes look big, etc. But what if I rebound? Then again...part of me feels like this time is different. In my mind, I have gained a sense of self-control I don't think I had the last cuts I've done. I used to be the girl who wouldn't stop thinking about the ice cream in the freezer, who would beg her mom to stop bringing in junk food in the house because it's too tempting. Now, ice cream in the freezer can rot for all I care. I used to be the girl who couldn't say "no" to free food, now I happily decline (and now I do not ever eat something just because it pleases someone else/they offer me, fuck them tbh). I used to be the girl who just "couldn't throw away food, what a waste!" Now I throw away food all the time...It's empowering, in a sick, weird way.

I've almost convinced myself that I'll never ever be above 130 lbs, which is what my “low weight” used to be, up to 3 months ago lol. I keep telling myself maybe I should lose 10 more pounds as a sort of “buffer.” And also, I see girls who are so skinny and they’re fine! And healthy! It’s like I’ve been brainwashed that I need to have some extra fat on me to be healthy. I can have a lower BMI and still be healthy. Lots of people do it without even knowing! Right? I want to be one of those people, except with some muscle.


I’m just really ranting here. But I hope this is my body just learning to be full on nutritious foods...for the first time in my life. I keep telling myself that this will be maintainable. Eventually, I do plan to go on a maintenance phase. Maybe once I reach 115? That should be in 5-7 weeks. Ish. Which scares me so much. But yeah….anyone else relate?


[Intro] I'm sooo jealous but it keeps me motivated af
/u/PepsiMakSe
Created: Wed Oct 26 18:24:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59l39l/im_sooo_jealous_but_it_keeps_me_motivated_af/
---
•Sorry I can't flair, on my mobile. Rant/Intro i'm guessing?•

So I'm meeting this group of friends in December. I've know them online for years and we finally decided to meet up.

Ofc there is this guy I've been crushing on soo bad. The thing is, one of our mutual friends (they know each other irl) is bringing his SO on the meet up. And heaven help me if she isn't some kind of beautiful, tiny, doll-like angel. She is such thinspo for me it's crazy. I may some day share that mythical creatures weight but if they don't invent a shrink ray for my massive slavic birthing hips then idk what I'm gonna do...

I fasted 3 days just thinking of what a difference our bodies are at -.- Currently 5'7 (173cm) and I weight 140ish? lbs (63kg). So I got 10kg till my first GW... The worst part is that other girls look nice at my stats and here I am a big ol' lard ball never thin enough, thanks ED brain!

*On a side note- This sub is amazing. You are all such an inspiration to me in the physical sence and the mental sence. Reading your posts really helps be feel like I'm not alone!
Alsoo...Hello and nice to meet all you lovely people! ^_^

[Other] body check 5'9" 120lb
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 26 18:02:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59kzfo/body_check_59_120lb/
---
http://imgur.com/a/bj4bl

[Discussion] BED/COE sufferers?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 26 17:50:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59kxf7/bedcoe_sufferers/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] Her channel is thinspo in action <3
/u/CowOffTheFarm [65" | 145 | 24.41 | - | F | GW 120]
Created: Wed Oct 26 17:46:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59kwvj/her_channel_is_thinspo_in_action_3/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gfrhLjH18hU

[Rant/Rave] why can't i control myself?!!
/u/salt_skin [5'4" | CW 134lbs | BMI 23.45 | GW 90 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Oct 26 17:45:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59kwkz/why_cant_i_control_myself/
---
i attempted to up my intake to see if that would control my urges to binge this week, but instead it just increased my appetite and made me binge even more. i wasn't hungry. in fact, i had felt sick because i was so full, but spent money i don't have, bought more food and ate anyway. i wanted to purge so badly, but my teeth are so weak rn. i'm taking laxatives, but that never feels as effective as just getting rid of it before my body really digests the food.

i feel disgusting. i literally hate myself. i just binged because i felt bad, but eating until i feel sick is not the way to deal with it. now my stomach hurts so much. i'm not even sure if it's because i'm stuffed or because i ate enough to feel full. i hate this.

[Help] SOS how do I stop thinking about food/stop wanting to eat this kit kat
/u/chocolatecoveredpugs [5'4| 118| 20.6 | -22lbs | F]
Created: Wed Oct 26 16:59:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59kok3/sos_how_do_i_stop_thinking_about_foodstop_wanting/
---
So just came out of a review session for a exam tomorrow and successfully resisted the pizza they had (from my fave pizza place too not just shitty dominos) but the prof made everyone take candy because ~Halloween~ 😑. I'm super stressed about this midterm but can't stop thinking about the stupid fun size kit kat in my bag. How do I stop thinking about it??

[Meme/Humor] my italian textbook playing a cruel joke
/u/clamshells [5'7 | 115 | 18.0 | f]
Created: Wed Oct 26 16:20:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59khly/my_italian_textbook_playing_a_cruel_joke/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/972afa7fca374f7e8cae82fa66e8c9c9?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=ef289c6f1a60b0310c74a2234041f076

[Other] Can I just say how happy it's made me that SO many of us have commented about one part of their body they do like! 😘💘 I'm so proud of us all right now to be strong enough to focus on the positive 💝 what a sub full of beautiful people
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 26 16:12:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59kg4p/can_i_just_say_how_happy_its_made_me_that_so_many/
---
[deleted]

[Other] how do yall survive restricting to nothing but caffeinated drinks
/u/leatherhoff [5"3 | TOO MUCH | ftm]
Created: Wed Oct 26 14:49:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59jzoa/how_do_yall_survive_restricting_to_nothing_but/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Being diabetic isn't fun.
/u/wanskie [5'5 | cw: 135 | bmi: 22.5 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 26 13:26:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59jiqu/being_diabetic_isnt_fun/
---
I binged so much the past few days on mostly sugary foods and I've been feeling so so sick. I'm only about 8 hours in and I feel like garbage. I'm diabetic so restricting is hard for me let alone fasting.

I have a live in child care job 3 days a week. I go over Wednesday night and get back on Saturday nights. I'll be there later this evening and I'm hoping I can at least do a water/broth fast until Sunday :(

Is anyone else diabetic? Have any tips?

[Discussion] DAE watch cooking videos while restricting/fasting?
/u/scaredalternate [5'5'' | 166 | GW 160 | UGW 120 | -54lbs | M]
Created: Wed Oct 26 13:03:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59je18/dae_watch_cooking_videos_while_restrictingfasting/
---
I am currently 65 hours into my second fast of the last week. I fasted 100 hours which ended on Saturday and began this one Sunday after dinner (was with the boyfriend and had to pretend I was semi-normal).

It seems every time I am restricting to a very small intake or fasting I could spend hours watching cooking videos online, such as Buzzfeed, a cooking show, cookie decorating, ect. I'd never eat anything made on there but I like to imagine the tastes. In some way I imagine myself as a normal person being able to eat 1500-2000 calories without wanting to die after.

[Discussion] DAE ..
/u/tattoosandcoffeee [5'4 | GW 108 | -10 ]
Created: Wed Oct 26 12:40:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59j9dh/dae/
---
Search model mayhem for hours for girls your height and goal weight? Are there any other platforms to do something like this? Ive used visual BMI and my body gallery and have seen every single image. Model mayhem is nice because you can see so many different body types with your height and weight and visualize yourself. side note- spending hours looking at this keeps me distracted from eating. haven't eat yet today and I'm planning to turn it into an all day fast! :):):)

[Rant/Rave] crying in the bathroom rn
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 26 12:33:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59j7xv/crying_in_the_bathroom_rn/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] i'm really freaking out right now
/u/sunflowerfairy [4'11" | no goal weight; nothing will ever be good enough.]
Created: Wed Oct 26 12:11:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59j3a8/im_really_freaking_out_right_now/
---
...because today i weighed myself for the first time in a few days and apparently i weigh 38.7 KILOS (85lbs) NOW?


I'VE NEVER BEEN AT SUCH A LOW WEIGHT BEFORE?? I'M JUST SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I STOPPED B/PING FOR A WHILE AND DECIDED TO RESTRICT AND I'M SO GLAD IT PAID OFF.


so yeah. i'm kind of the happiest i've been in ages right now.


that's all. you can move on now. :)

[Goal] Thought my collarbones looked nice today
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 26 11:54:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59izpz/thought_my_collarbones_looked_nice_today/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/cf0b1d15a36746cda08933330c8beb46?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=a18c8d4f704cf447ded0905e964d78f7

[Rant/Rave] Psych Hospital Victory
/u/prehsm [5'2 | CW: 125 | 22.9 | -15 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 26 11:46:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59iy14/psych_hospital_victory/
---
I just needed to share this story with some people who can understand exactly how elated I am.

I just got home from an involuntary stay at the loony bin. Major depressive disorder, suicidal ideation, etc. SO MUCH FOOD. ALL THE TIME. I don't think my stomach got properly 100% empty the entire 72 hours I was there, because they gave us meals so often. My chart didn't have an ED diagnosis on it, really not sure why. But I knew if I restricted too hard they would definitely start looking closer at my medical history and probably try to keep me longer, right?

I came home 2 lbs lighter.

[Help] Gaining weight while sick?
/u/ms_tiny_tits [5'7'' | CW 121 | UWG 105 | 19.26 | -15 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 26 11:19:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59is86/gaining_weight_while_sick/
---
Hi! So I've been having a serious cold since Thursday and when I tried taking my medicine as I always do, I puked it up. I can't even take an aspirin because my body refuses it and makes me puke it up.

I've been bedridden since Saturday and I've eaten around 900 kcals per day and when I stepped on the scale - I had gained 5 pounds?!

Does anyone know how this could've happened?

Have I just been miscalculating my calories?



[Goal] Anyone want to join me in committing to a binge-free week DAY THREE
/u/mmm_erythritol
Created: Wed Oct 26 11:17:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59irqf/anyone_want_to_join_me_in_committing_to_a/
---
*"If it's important to you, you'll find a way–if not, you'll find an excuse."*


What up beautiful people? I hope you're all doing well and feeling awesome about your binge-free week.

Once again... calling all who have promised to be BINGE-FREE:

/u/ToffeeCup

/u/infinitegoldstyle

/u/shortchair

/u/neveraunicorn

/u/possiblycurious

/u/UnrequitedOrgasms

/u/InSkyLimitEra

/u/gastastic

/u/alliwantistogiveup

/u/somanyjellyrolls

/u/stormyeyed94

/u/enjupoint

/u/Kishin_

/u/lymfp

/u/What_u_callme

/u/Moonlight_bae

/u/neuro-fuzzy

/u/fckk

/u/qwertyldn

/u/throwaway0908123

/u/capture_the_excite

/u/mailmesnails

/u/fringeandbinge

/u/RetailSlaveNo1

/u/IAMABaguetteAMA

/u/tattoo987654321

/u/frameworkautoco

/u/chelowelXo

/u/DontMindMeJustBingin

/u/whyaremysockswet

/u/reggiesan

/u/Phantomsgf

/u/Hummingpenguin

/u/aerienne

/u/bannaberry

/u/DieMikrowelle

/u/takingheatfromthesun

/u/-kaneki-ken-

/u/SanguineSmiles

/u/mermaid_puppy

/u/K_iwi

/u/theraindropsx46

/u/WhyRedTape

/u/leatherhoff

/u/goddamnroommate

/u/dnedna

/u/capture_the_excite

/u/whatupmyknitta

I think I got everyone who asked to be added yesterday, but if you did ask and I missed you lmk!

**Please share:**

**How did yesterday go? Did you accomplish your goals?**

**How are you feeling on day three? Do you have any other goals besides being binge-free?**

**What is your favorite non food related stress reliever?**

Keep being awesome and supporting each other–today we will all remain binge-free!


[Help] Made a throwaway for this.
/u/Throwthatembrsmntawy
Created: Wed Oct 26 11:12:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59iqpc/made_a_throwaway_for_this/
---
I recently binged myself into obesity. I can't make myself throw up at all and Oh god I've tried. But the thing is.. I can see my skin tear :( I was checking my already purple stretch marks and I have new tears due to my 5000 cal a day week. I just want to stop... so fucking bad why can't I stop.

[Rant/Rave] It arrived!!!
/u/neuro-fuzzy [5'6.3| CW: 115 ☹ | BMI: ??? | LW 98 | GW 108 | 20F]
Created: Wed Oct 26 11:09:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59iq47/it_arrived/
---
https://imgur.com/a/Urq4g

[Goal] University students or young professionals, what are your goals when you reach your UGW?
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | BF: 26% | - 55lbs | 19/F]
Created: Wed Oct 26 10:45:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59ikxn/university_students_or_young_professionals_what/
---
I need some positivity right now.

I've been really overwhelmed with school, I've lost sight in my goals and WHY I'm needing to lose weight.

I just want to be a dainty, chic full-stack developer or just a general software engineer. I've gotten an offer at a company next summer already and I just want to be the girl that everyone asks she's a software engineer??? All the girls I've made friends with at Google and Apple are so cute and tiny and fit, all of them dress very well (I'm guessing most due to their salary lol). They're the only women I aspire to be because not only are they really attractive they're also very intelligent. Also I aspire to those women who also deal with an ED and are working 9-5 jobs and still can manage to restrict and look perfect in their work clothes.

Anyone else have similar goals??

[Thinspo] Thinspo. 💕
/u/BlackGirlSteeze
Created: Wed Oct 26 10:25:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59igx0/thinspo/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/0405057becc545e3815be63198ae8a33?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=6badbde17247d0d83e467e3d9a6a719f

[Thinspo] Thinspo.
/u/BlackGirlSteeze
Created: Wed Oct 26 10:24:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59igs4/thinspo/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/6eafa09dfeea41cfb2323b225de098ce?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=95a281a45b2879a0e9c877d23e954af3

[Thinspo] Thinspo. 💕
/u/BlackGirlSteeze
Created: Wed Oct 26 10:24:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59igls/thinspo/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/22cd9ad98dcb427f9e506708c2ba2e98?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=0266d5fa14b1651838eec3d04f1b4d63

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 26, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Oct 26 10:02:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59ic2z/daily_food_diary_october_26_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 26, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Thinspo] instead of studying i collected and am dumping some thinspo/ slight bonespo! have a good wednesday y'all
/u/ikillsouls [5' 2" | 106 | 19.4 | Ugw: 85 |19f]
Created: Wed Oct 26 09:33:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59i5x3/instead_of_studying_i_collected_and_am_dumping/
---
http://imgur.com/a/cxUoe

[Intro] Yet another new lurker finally brave enough to come forward
/u/tattoosandcoffeee [5'4 | GW 108 | -10 ]
Created: Wed Oct 26 08:42:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59hvqd/yet_another_new_lurker_finally_brave_enough_to/
---
Hello all :) The title says it all. I've been lurking for years. Ive always had tendencies since as far back as I can remember. I've always been TERRIFIED to gain weight..for reasons unknown to me because no one in my family is overweight or works out. Ive always been into working out and have always maintained a gym membership. I would skip classes and lunch and spend hours in the library at my high school looking up tiny girls I admired and dreamed I looked like them (one big idol being avril lavigne..I was OBSESSED :P) Then I finally did something about it when I got out of highschool. I ate once a day for 2-3 months, ran 5 miles a day, and got to 105 (LW) took photos and look at them everyday wishing to be that person again. I stepped away for a while convincing myself this is just "my" way of dieting. The years went by, got comfortable in a 8 year relationship and was fine until about two years ago. Started a new medicine, went vegetarian and gained the most weight I ever have in my life.( Ive always weighed the same since highschool fluctuating between 110-125 at 5'4) fought the thoughts, told myself I look fine this way..then one day snapped. Now at 28 years old..almost 29 I Freaked out, hated myself, got really depressed, anxiety to the max. Went to the dr and got back on anxiety meds and Adderall. started eating white meat again..and jumped back into my old habits of spending hours looking at thinspo..Reading posts every single day, working out every single day, fasting every day. and now have been successfully restricting/fasting for two months now. I just cant lie to myself anymore. I love restricting, its the only way I feel what I'm doing is working. I love feeling light and airy and that IM in control. my initial goal weight is 108 (Lowest healthy weight) ultimate goal is to get to 100 and see how I look. Goal is to get as small as possible but still look healthy ..then Ill start lifting weights at the gym to gain about 5lbs of muscle for definition to put me at 105. I apologize for this being so long.
You are all so inspirational. Its nice to finally meet you all and I'm excited for what's to come :)

[Help] I struggled with bulimia for over 20 years before I became a felon and had nothing left to lose...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 26 08:35:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59huat/i_struggled_with_bulimia_for_over_20_years_before/
---
http://www.instructables.com/id/Daily-Life-Skills/

[Discussion] I thought maybe it would be a nice idea for everyone to share what one bit of their body they DO like? Positive vibes and love all round 💕❤️🎀
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 26 08:26:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59hsmg/i_thought_maybe_it_would_be_a_nice_idea_for/
---
[deleted]

[Meme/Humor] Don't know if there's anything funnier
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 105 | 17.68 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 26 08:18:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59hr39/dont_know_if_theres_anything_funnier/
---
Than being someone with an ed that likes to bake and cook. I feel like one of those feeder people almost lmao. Like I make food for the entire family and I just sit at the table sipping my whiskey with an empty plate. Atleast I can live vicariously through them.

[Goal] Silly NSV
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 26 08:16:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59hqt2/silly_nsv/
---
I was on a full bus this morning on my way to work - and sitting next to someone, I wasn't smashed in. Not only that? I had room next to me.

Small victories, right?

[Rant/Rave] high-restriction dilemma
/u/pumpkinpieface [5'6 | 102.4 | 16.3 |]
Created: Wed Oct 26 07:54:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59hmo8/highrestriction_dilemma/
---
DAE hate themselves when they eat 1000+ to stave off binging and have energy?

i so wish i could fast or eat 400 cal a day but i have to have energy to work and study and not think about food 24/7... i used to restrict heavy in high school but life was kinda chill no responsibilites then...

I still lose weight but it's so slow. i guess it's more sustainable???

[Rant/Rave] friend with an ed
/u/dnedna [5'7" | 116 | 18.15 | GW:110 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 26 07:23:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59hh9q/friend_with_an_ed/
---
I have a friend with an ED who has recently lost a LOT of weight and knows about mine (which I’m supposedly in quasi-recovery from where I’m losing weight but at higher cal levels) say to me that she’s officially underweight while laughing. Fuck her. I’m dropping my fucking calories. Sitting here shaking and trying to calm myself from a full blown panic because I'm in a library :(

[Discussion] does anybody know of any low cal cooking sauces?
/u/namelessgia
Created: Wed Oct 26 06:57:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59hct0/does_anybody_know_of_any_low_cal_cooking_sauces/
---
so i just got some fairly low calorie vegetarian mince and am reaaaally eager to try it as i've only heard good things, the problem is i have no idea what to have with it! any suggestions are welcome, it doesn't even have to be a sauce, i'm just looking for something that isn't ridiculously high in calories :)

[Rant/Rave] [rave] I did it!!
/u/thinkthinlythrowaway
Created: Wed Oct 26 06:55:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59hciu/rave_i_did_it/
---
I completed a 24 hour fast and I'm on hour 35 and it's amazing. On hour 23 I felt on top of the world and then I went to bed. Now I'm up and ready for a long ass day (which I should be able to not eat) and then it's my boyfriends birthday so I may have to have something for dinner. But I'll do something hella small.
I feel amazing, although the shakes are starting to come so if anyone knows how to calm down that it would be great.

Ugh you guys are what inspired me and so amazing and I'm so proud of myself right now this is the one thing I'm not epically failing at 😍

[Rant/Rave] I love this sub c:
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 127.4 | 18.5/18.8 | -19.6 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 26 06:48:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59hbh7/i_love_this_sub_c/
---
I've been on several support subs for various issues, but proED is by far the most supportive and thoughtful community out of all of them. One thing in particular that I love is that we celebrate ALL successes, whether it's not binging for a day or fitting into a child size shirt. We don't discriminate with our upvotes based on stupid, judgmental shit, and I so love that. One of the other subs I used to frequent would only upvote pictures if the poster was pretty, even if the success had nothing to do with that. But we upvote/value every success, no matter how big or small the thigh gap is, or whatever :P and I just really love that. I'm so grateful for this community. Thank you, everyone~~~

[Rant/Rave] Just feeling shit today
/u/xtinytoadx [5'4" | 78 | 13.65 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 26 06:46:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59hb4w/just_feeling_shit_today/
---
So basically I b/p for 4 days straight last week, but I finally normalized my intake on Monday. ($200 down the drain- fuck me, right?)
I ended up b/p again yesterday and when I got home at 10pm I ate over 4,000 calories worth of bread, cheese, chocolate, and chips. I wasn't able to purge it at all so now I just feel like total shit from last night. I've only had 2 hours of sleep and I've been averaging 4. I feel absolutely disgusting and a fat piece of shit, like I'll never get over binging, I'm chronically sleep deprived, I feel empty and lonely and just blegh. I don't know. Hell. My mother's been continuing to make comments about my size and how dysfunctional I am, so that's great (sarcasm). I have so much university work I've no idea how to keep up with this wretched mess that is me.
I'm trying to fast for most of today but I have a feeling that's not going to go down well.



I guess I'm just looking for comfort and someone to tell me I'll be okay. Maybe list some things that help you cope with urges to binge? I don't know. Sorry. I feel annoying for posting here and expecting something.



Edit: Just adding some more feels here since I don't really have other places to dump it. I haven't hung out with anyone for several years now. I haven't laughed in months. I'm unable to hold a conversation. I eat exorbitant amounts of food and dump it all down the toilet since I'm a useless dumb wreck of a human. I feel so empty and I have no drive in my life. I can't pay attention in class and I'm always exhausted and don't have time for sleep. A dumb, gluttonous sloth.

[Discussion] Way To Go Wednesday October 26, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Oct 26 06:03:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59h4nh/way_to_go_wednesday_october_26_2016/
---

This is the weekly achievement thread for October 26, 2016.

This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!

*****

Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Thinspo] Throwback to my lowest this summer..
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 26 05:34:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59h0qv/throwback_to_my_lowest_this_summer/
---
http://imgur.com/oTRafwT

[Rant/Rave] I fainted and now nobody will leave me f*ck alone about my food intake.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 26 04:31:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59gtco/i_fainted_and_now_nobody_will_leave_me_fck_alone/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Silently flipping my shit.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [Adipose Industries]
Created: Wed Oct 26 02:53:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59giyq/silently_flipping_my_shit/
---
So a friend of mine is talking about her weight loss efforts. She wants to lose 30lbs.

She started the Cambridge Diet this Monday. Basically, she has three nutrition shakes a day totalling around 500kcal, and that's it for the diet plan.

She's been asking my advice, whether she can afford to have extra snacks besides the shakes because she gets so hungry. I have tried to explain to her that yes she can, up to a certain calorie amount, and that another aim of the diet is to be low carb and go into ketosis and the benefits of that.. but she refuses to get any of it. She seemingly refuses to understand the impact calories have on weight loss. She seemed to refuse to understand why having a snack of cucumber and ham was okay (apparently a 'nutritionist' that works for the diet scheme and sold her the shakes told her that eating cucumber *specifically* would knock her out of ketosis... CUCUMBER), but a ham and cheese pastry and a cookie wasn't such a good idea. She seems to want to think the shakes she has 3x a day are magic and will melt fat away.

In the end, I gave up, and left it as 'as long as your snack is under 500kcal, it's okay. She went and had the ham and cheese pastry and cookie (She came back and said she 'assumed' it was under 500kcal for the lot because it 'seemed small').

She's now messaging me about how she's weighed herself, and she's lost 4lbs since Sunday night. She's excited. I decide against telling her - *again* - about water weight and it's impact on the scale. I don't feel I can burst her bubble this morning. I just tell her well done.

She's now telling me that she's going out to a restaurant and then to the pub for a lot of alcohol this weekend because 'she wont regain all of that in one night!'

She is causing me the biggest eye twitch/tic in the history of the fuckin universe guys I swear to god.

[Rant/Rave] Just left my sorority's Taco Night...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 25 22:47:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59fr74/just_left_my_sororitys_taco_night/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Sleep and hunger?
/u/GrammarNaughtsy [5'3" | 102 | GW: 98 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 25 22:34:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59fpec/sleep_and_hunger/
---
I've read that having either a fucked up sleep schedule or having less than optimal amounts of sleep decreases leptin and makes you hungrier. I'm finding that my cravings and appetite *have* amped up as a result of my consistent inability to sleep lately.


Does anyone else find this is true or have any sleep related ED experiences?

[Help] IN BODY CONFUSION
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 106 lb | 21.34 | -21.5| Female]
Created: Tue Oct 25 22:12:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59fmbi/in_body_confusion/
---
my pbf is 17.5! Finally below normal (goal 16)
but my BMI is still 21.6 (too high)
my inches went up by .25
but my %bf went down from last time.

IM SO CONFUSED CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN. this is fucking with my head h core. my nurtritionist is now "v worried" but my bmi still says FAT. now i trust nothing

Was starting to think I was onto something lol :) :) :)))))))
/u/soma-h
Created: Tue Oct 25 22:10:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59fm2y/was_starting_to_think_i_was_onto_something_lol/
---
[removed]

When you say you're skipping lunch and your colleagues are fine with it...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 25 22:08:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59flr6/when_you_say_youre_skipping_lunch_and_your/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] How long did it take you to get to really increase momentum on your shrinking your body?
/u/hunterxgreen [5'4'' | too much | ditto | -22 | F | ]
Created: Tue Oct 25 21:15:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59fdt5/how_long_did_it_take_you_to_get_to_really/
---
I'm down 20 lbs, but I've been plateuing for ages so I was just wondering how long it took you to see things really moving and get close to your goal weight? Like when you feel like you got into a routine and could notice your body really responding to what you were doing? hope that makes sense. also if anyone has any plateua busting ideas that would be great. I've thought about fasting but the last time I fasted I ended up in the ER so I can't do that for a while bc my parents are watching. IF is about all I can do. Thanks x

[Rant/Rave] Tfw you finally feel like working out and your elliptical breaks
/u/lightfeathers [5'4" | CW 112 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 25 20:54:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59falt/tfw_you_finally_feel_like_working_out_and_your/
---
😤😤😤

[Thinspo] thinspo video/amazing song
/u/gin-and-lemon [🐝 5'1"| cw: 150lbs | bmi: 29 | -15lbs | f]
Created: Tue Oct 25 20:41:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59f8ed/thinspo_videoamazing_song/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxDvUsZsWDo

[Rant/Rave] When all you've eaten is a few baby carrots and you're still screwed
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1" | CW: 154 | -13 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 25 20:35:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59f7cv/when_all_youve_eaten_is_a_few_baby_carrots_and/
---
Completely useless rant ahead -

Where I live and among my social group hanging out = drinking heavily in bars. Alcohol is what? The only drug that involves a ton of excessive calories? And it's also the only drug that is socially acceptable. I usually bring a vaporizer out with me but it's still hard to be out at bars for 4+ hours and keep myself high the whole time with a vaporizer. So I drink. And I keep drinking. And I feel sick because all I ate was 3 carrot sticks earlier and then all this alcohol. I feel empty. I feel hungry. But I needed to not be sober so I did what everyone was doing and drank and drank and drank until I very easily hit 1k calories of alcohol alone *even though* I'm sticking mostly to vodka sodas.

Again, this is pointless. I'm just really bitter because it feels like I damn near fasted and had it unfairly stolen from me even though it was my own stupid decisions that stole it from me. I wish our societal drug of choice was anything else.

[Thinspo] Thinspo.
/u/BlackGirlSteeze
Created: Tue Oct 25 20:20:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59f4y0/thinspo/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/981fb958425d4f88addc0fbcae1d7055?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=45c99e100720f5de7b7de936df1869dc

[Goal] down 8 lbs in two weeks!
/u/salt_skin [5'4" | CW 134lbs | BMI 23.45 | GW 90 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Oct 25 20:02:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59f1yz/down_8_lbs_in_two_weeks/
---
i went from 142 two weeks ago 134. i just found out today at the doctor's office since i no longer have a scale! while i'm super excited, i went shopping for a halloween costume today and my stomach and legs still managed to look enormous in all them. i feel like despite losing weight, my proportions make me look even fatter now than i was when i actually weighed more, but i can't tell if that's dysmorphia talking. but still, i'm happy that i am losing. i felt like i wasn't, so to find that i'm 8 lbs down is pretty exciting for me.

[Rant/Rave] Having an ED in the Education field (Rant)
/u/sprinkle1997 [5'2 | CW 129 GW 100 | -25 lbs | 19F]
Created: Tue Oct 25 19:34:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59ex6y/having_an_ed_in_the_education_field_rant/
---
On mobile, cannot flair!

I feel sick in the head because I'm constantly comparing my meal portions to the kids' at lunch. These kids are six years old and I'm eating less than them. They always say my lunch is so small and laugh at me but it makes me feel good. I eat less than a child. I'm so disgusted with myself.

How can I stay on track for restricting and what are some tricks to burn extra cals?
/u/wavvvybaby
Created: Tue Oct 25 19:33:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59ex06/how_can_i_stay_on_track_for_restricting_and_what/
---
[removed]

[Goal] So happy with myself
/u/notcomingback000
Created: Tue Oct 25 18:30:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59emhz/so_happy_with_myself/
---
Monday I managed 550 cal and Tuesday 525

[Discussion] Any audio book/YouTube recommendations..?
/u/ICouldNeverSpell
Created: Tue Oct 25 17:55:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59eg66/any_audio_bookyoutube_recommendations/
---
So I get urges at work to eat sugar/snacks when I really don't want to. It's that my attention is crashing or I'm bored/upset. As I work at a desk I can't really pull out some thinspo but I can listen (not really watch) YouTube and audiobooks for help. Any suggestions? :)

[Discussion] What are your favorite hot drinks?
/u/ChubbyBunny8 [5'2" | 135 | 25.58 | -15 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 25 16:44:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59e3dm/what_are_your_favorite_hot_drinks/
---
I'm always freezing in my office and I like to have a hot drink for lunch to warm me up. I drink a lot of green tea, and I've recently started drinking diet Swiss Miss hot chocolate. Any other recommendations?

[Help] I'm not sure if this applies.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 25 16:41:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59e2qj/im_not_sure_if_this_applies/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Fasting vs low cal restriction impact on metabolism?
/u/whiimsii
Created: Tue Oct 25 16:38:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59e2ao/fasting_vs_low_cal_restriction_impact_on/
---
Hi beautiful people,


First of all I'll have to apologise for the lack of flair here, I'm on the app 😑.


Now that that's out of the way... The topic of discussion I'd like to bring up today is something I'm very interested in which I haven't really been able to find any credible sources of information about.


I keep stumbling upon people online who suggest that low cal restriction ("starvation") is infinitely more detrimental to one's metabolism than complete abstinence from food for a period of time (during which one enters ketosis and feeds off of their own fat resources) which is then followed by refeed.


I'm not sure if this is complete and utter bullshit or truth, and if so, why! Lol. I'm pretty well educated on what happens to the body during fasting but I'm not sure why it would differ from restriction in terms of impact on the BMR?


I know many of you guys are super into health and nutrition or even work in a relevant field so I figured someone might have a clue?? Does restriction really fuck with your metabolism more than fasting does?


(So sorry if someone's asked this question before btw. I didn't know, I promise!)

[Rant/Rave] Arctic Zero ❤️❤️❤️
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 25 16:26:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59dzxk/arctic_zero/
---
[deleted]

[Other] My fitness pal friends?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 25 16:24:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59dzjb/my_fitness_pal_friends/
---
[deleted]

[Meme/Humor] So, I was playing Cards Against Humanity with my family last night and...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 25 16:18:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59dyjt/so_i_was_playing_cards_against_humanity_with_my/
---
[deleted]

[Other] I'm having 4000 calories today
/u/DenyMyHunger [5'7"| Fat! | UGW:112| F]
Created: Tue Oct 25 15:34:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59dpzs/im_having_4000_calories_today/
---
It's my birthday and I'm gonna get sooooo drunk.

I hope you're all doing well on your journeys (sp? ) lovelies since I'm so busy fucking up :)

[Rant/Rave] I can't go to the store
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 105 | 17.68 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 25 15:08:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59dksc/i_cant_go_to_the_store/
---
Cause I'm kinda tipsy and I lost my fucking laxatives! I had a whole bunch left I thought. It really sucks but I guess I'll sip on laxative tea for now and hope it works quickly. I look 6 months pregnant and I haven't even binged!

[Other] I think of my eating disorder as a pencil
/u/yikes_dot_com [5'6 | 111 | 17.9 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 25 14:14:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59d9yr/i_think_of_my_eating_disorder_as_a_pencil/
---
This semester, during a period of heavy restriction, the pencil faced me in reverse and began to erase my body and soul alike. I dropped ten pounds in five weeks and lost any semblance of self, abandoned all of my hobbies and interests, and became completely isolated: a moving body, nothing more.

Then, last week when I went home for fall break, the pencil turned around sharply and began stabbing me with its evil point. It made me shove food into my face for no reason, every hour of every day until my whole body hurt, undoing all progress, rewriting crudely and jaggedly over what it had erased.

I wish I could control the pencil, could grab hold of it and write my own story.

[Intro] My ephedrine came! (Intro)
/u/Gastrick [Height 5'4"| CW 120 | GW 100 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 25 13:56:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59d5vv/my_ephedrine_came_intro/
---
Saw you guys talking about bronkaid (not available in Canada) and sleuthed my way into finding pure 8mg ephedrine tablets from a supplement/body building shoppe.

I haven't had these since my last go around with ED!

I had to share in my delight... Not much else is going well these days. I've taken up fasting again in the hopes of regaining my once-svelt bod, so I'll need the energy boost.

I'm so glad we're all here to support one another- back in 'my day'(10 or so years ago) it was all on livejournal, not my favourite platform.

Think thin, all!

(Sorry no flair, I'm on mobile)

[Discussion] Has anyone else gained weight in really weird places post-recovery/treatment?
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | no clue | went to treatment | send help]
Created: Tue Oct 25 13:49:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59d4pa/has_anyone_else_gained_weight_in_really_weird/
---
So as some of you may know, I went to residential treatment in June. I had to restore some weight and I've gained even more after being discharged. I'm absolutely disgusted with my body, I don't feel like I'm in *my* body (if that makes any sense), yada yada yada, I could go on.

I don't know how much I weigh but I know I'm nowhere near my highest weight ever. But I've gained weight in SUCH strange places. Even at my highest weight I never had fat in certain places, but I do now. For example, strange thigh and back fat I never had before.

Has this happened to any of you who've had to be weight restored? Is there any science behind this or am I just being crazy?

[Discussion] Let's talk hotsauce
/u/ssshield [5'10| 178 | 26.2 | -15 | M]
Created: Tue Oct 25 13:45:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59d3qb/lets_talk_hotsauce/
---
I wanted to share that I've been having some really great results with using extremely spicy hotsauce on my food. Just a teaspoon of it on veggies or anything really and not only does it numb my stomach for an hour or two, but it cleans out my GI track pretty thoroughly as well. There's almost no calories and only a little bit of salt to really think about.

Here are my current go-to's:

[Time's up reaper sauce](http://www.pepperpalace.com/TIME-S-UP-TOMATO-BLEND-REAPER-HOT-SAUCE-p/k450.htm)

[Dave's ghost pepper sauce](https://www.amazon.com/Daves-Ghost-Pepper-Jolokia-Sauce/dp/B001PQTYN2?th=1)


Anyone else using hot sauce or similar for weight loss / appetite suppression?



[Rant/Rave] Three binge days in a row, followed by first purge
/u/-kaneki-ken- [5'7" | CW 129 | GW 120 | 20.2 | 22F]
Created: Tue Oct 25 13:20:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59cypm/three_binge_days_in_a_row_followed_by_first_purge/
---
Holy shit, you guys.

Yesterday, a boy bought me a huge breakfast and a huge dinner, after which I came home and finished out the day with a needlessly massive and frantic binge. But wait! It gets *WAY FUCKING WORSE!*

Today at work I consumed ~1200 cals in kitchen leftovers, came home, weighed in at 133. I was laying in my bed sobbing, why, why, why am I doing this, when suddenly I stopped, went into the bathroom, and purged until my nose and throat started bleeding. I said I wouldn't; I haven't purged in a really long time, but it seemed like the only way to gain back some small piece of control over my own consumption. I popped blood vessels in my eyes again, currently trying to figure out how to minimize that before going to see friends later...

I know I didn't get even half of the binge back up. I know I'm still sitting on at least 1000 calories of carbs and bullshit, and I know I'm going to have to restrict for days to feel okay again. I know this is all stupid and not helpful at all. I know I need to get back below 130 as soon as humanly possible. What I don't know is why I'm suddenly letting this happen. This summer I wouldn't even lick a spoon without logging the calories. Eating an uber-strict 1200 cals a day and running 3 miles a day was fucking cake. I had iron will. So where the fuck did it go?? Why was I already about to cry at work today eating that second leftover donut? Why didn't I just throw it the fuck away?? Who is this new person in my body, and how do I make her go away before it's too late and I'm back to being a fat shit?

[Help] I need a hug and a lot of advice.
/u/edthrowaway77 [5'8'' | 118 | 17.75| F]
Created: Tue Oct 25 13:04:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59cvml/i_need_a_hug_and_a_lot_of_advice/
---
I've had a diagnosed ED for 8 years (anorexia with purging) and I've been struggling a lot recently. All I want to do is restrict and exercise but I've lost enough weight that my doctors are monitoring me really closely and I need to at least maintain to stay in school.

The problem is I still restrict during the day but I end up bingeing and purging at night because I panic about how I need to keep my weight up/have a brief flash of recovery motivation and "challenge" myself to eat a little extra, which triggers me to binge (usually subjective binges, rarely more than 400-500 calories) and purge.

I know that my health is declining, which freaks me out and I need to get myself to a stable place but I don't want to tell my doctor, dietician or therapist about how often I'm purging because they already think that I need inpatient (or an ER) and don't want them to push it.

I have never dealt with bingeing and I'm completely lost. I need to be eating enough to at least maintain/maybe gain a pound or 2 to get people off of my back but I'm scared to eat for fear that I'll lose control.

I feel so guilty all of the time; I've had anorexia since I was 12 so sadly, it is a part of my identity and all of this stuffing my face is making me feel like a faker.

[Discussion] Does anybody else get frustrated by the body-positivity movement?
/u/caseydoeswords [5'0 | c:135 | cgw:120 | 25f]
Created: Tue Oct 25 12:46:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59cryl/does_anybody_else_get_frustrated_by_the/
---
Idk if this is a discussion or a rant/rave, but it's just kind of bugging me today.

So there was a Buzzfeed article about the average American woman being a size 16-18, and it's full of pictures of larger women in bikinis and revealing clothing, etc. I'm all for these women feeling confident in their skin and stuff, and part of me is like "yeah, I guess self-love is super important no matter what size you are," but another part of me is just really, really frustrated and upset with posts like this.

I guess I feel like this movement *can be* a positive thing, but mostly that it just glorifies unhealthy lifestyles, and promotes this image of overweight women as "normal." When I was at my heaviest weight, I often used the body positive movement to disguise my crippling lack of discipline and self-control, and I allowed it to enable me to be extremely unhealthy. It's easier to be part of a "movement" than to look at yourself and say "hey, you really have no self-control and it's disgusting, you need to take a hard look at the way you live and get some shit straightened out."

I might not be the picture of a healthy lifestyle now, either, but... I guess things like this are almost triggering for me now. I just hate that it's literally everywhere, and is normalizing unhealthy lifestyle choices under the guise of being self-acceptance. Idk. How do you guys feel about this kind of thing? Surely I'm not the only one who is deeply bothered by it.

[Rant/Rave] dysmorphia
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 25 12:22:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59cn0p/dysmorphia/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] Don't really post pictures of my legs so.. 118lbs
/u/frailraven [5'10 | CW 117 | LW 115 | F20]
Created: Tue Oct 25 12:18:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59cm8y/dont_really_post_pictures_of_my_legs_so_118lbs/
---
http://i.imgur.com/Az1b4MX.jpg

[Discussion] Lost periods, high weight?
/u/Pipoen [5'9" | 131 | 19.35 | -30 | =^u^= ]
Created: Tue Oct 25 11:44:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59ceys/lost_periods_high_weight/
---
Hi hi!

I lost my period about 2 months ago and at the time I was 145 or so. I've done countless tests and even saw an OBGYN to get one officially done. She seemed exceptionally indifferent when I told her I had lost it.

I'm 129-133 depending on day now. That puts my BMI somewhere between 19-20. I still feel way too large to have lost it this early.

Any one experience this?

[Goal] I like my arms and this shirt shows them off, I'm still at 150lbs.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 25 11:23:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59cap9/i_like_my_arms_and_this_shirt_shows_them_off_im/
---
https://imgur.com/gallery/ywhWc

[Goal] Anyone want to join me in committing to a binge-free week DAY TWO
/u/mmm_erythritol
Created: Tue Oct 25 10:52:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59c3y1/anyone_want_to_join_me_in_committing_to_a/
---
Hey guys! First off I am so grateful and overwhelmed by the huge response I received on yesterday's post. I'm sorry I didn't manage to reply to everyone but I have read all of your comments. This is such a kind and supportive community–I know that with each other's help, we can all make it through this week (and beyond) BINGE FREE!

Today I want to share with you all a book that I feel offers a unique and extremely helpful perspective on binge-eating and b&p–Brain Over Binge by Kathryn Hansen. Reading this hasn't cured my bingeing (yet??), but it has given me a lot of hope and tools to avoid binges–and I want you all to have that too. So, [here](https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B1wx6KxI1RBLdW5nZlpsMmtYdTA/edit?pref=2&pli=1) is a link to a google drive file with the complete book.


Now, calling all who joined in committing to a binge free week!

/u/ToffeeCup

/u/infinitegoldstyle

/u/shortchair

/u/neveraunicorn

/u/possiblycurious

/u/UnrequitedOrgasms

/u/InSkyLimitEra

/u/gastastic

/u/alliwantistogiveup

/u/somanyjellyrolls

/u/stormyeyed94

/u/enjupoint

/u/Kishin_

/u/lymfp

/u/What_u_callme

/u/Moonlight_bae

/u/neuro-fuzzy

/u/fckk

/u/qwertyldn

/u/throwaway0908123

/u/capture_the_excite

/u/mailmesnails

/u/fringeandbinge

/u/RetailSlaveNo1

/u/IAMABaguetteAMA

/u/tattoo987654321

/u/frameworkautoco

/u/chelowelXo

/u/DontMindMeJustBingin

/u/whyaremysockswet

/u/reggiesan

/u/Phantomsgf

/u/Hummingpenguin

/u/aerienne

/u/bannaberry


Please check in with us in the comments below!

How did your day go yesterday? Did you accomplish your goals?

How are you doing today? Do you have any goals other than being binge-free on day 2?

How have you successfully stopped a binge in the past?

Thanks everyone!

P.S. If you would like to be added to the list for future posts, let me know. I will try my best to keep track of everyone!

[Discussion] Weed and cravings, how do you deal?
/u/unecessarilymargie
Created: Tue Oct 25 10:24:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59byde/weed_and_cravings_how_do_you_deal/
---
I am having MAJOR issues with the munchies. I'm always good with eating way under my daily limit until about 11pm when I smoke some weed then it's suddenly a binge fest. How do you guys manage the munchies?

[Rant/Rave] Goal day stolen from me
/u/Weazin_the_Ju-uice
Created: Tue Oct 25 10:24:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59by95/goal_day_stolen_from_me/
---
I feel so betrayed. I know my scale is an inanimate object and it shouldn't be able to make me feel like this...but it still did. It's broken and I am freaking out about how long it has been malfunctioning.

I have a schedule for weigh-ins and measurements. Measure once a week, weigh daily in the am within the same 1 hour window. Every Tuesday is my goal weigh-in day. I calculate what weight I should be next Tuesday and enter it in my calander. Then I have a spot where I enter my actual weight when I get to that day.

Today was supposed to be a really happy awesome day! I had already "met" my projected weight goal 2 days ago. I always step on the scale a few times to make sure. Today everytime I stepped on the scale it was different by 1-3lbs!!

I changed the battery and recalibrated it...but still. It's different everytime. Now I have missed out on my hour time frame to weigh myself. That means my goal for next Tuesday wont be good enough because I don't know my weight today. So it will take me 2 weeks to get back on track.

I love weekly weigh-in day. Sigh. Now its been stripped from me. I guess I always have measurement Sunday. :(

I can trust my intake log and know I am losing weight...but it's so sad that my happiness is going to be put off because of this stupid scale. I want to know exactly how much weight I have lost! I want to be in complete control!

Guess I'm going to spend the morning scale shopping.

[Discussion] "An eating disorder is the body speaking when the voice is not heard" - what is your body trying to say?
/u/PM_ME_ABOUT_UR_WEEK
Created: Tue Oct 25 10:21:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59bxl8/an_eating_disorder_is_the_body_speaking_when_the/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59bxl8/an_eating_disorder_is_the_body_speaking_when_the/

[Discussion] Thank you to this subreddit
/u/Gabi_Cat [5'5" | CW:125 | BMI: 20.7 | -75 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Oct 25 10:12:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59bvsc/thank_you_to_this_subreddit/
---
I am constantly struggling with an undiagnosed ED. My main doctor and my therapist aren't concerned even though I've reached out for help. Since my BMI is still in the healthy range they make it seem like it's all in my head... and my parents will forever be in denial... But this place is a safe place where I can reach out and relate to others. I just wanted to thank everyone and I hope one day we are able to love ourselves (haha right?)

[Rant/Rave] You know you have a problem when you're excited you're to depressed to eat.
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 180 | -70 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 25 10:11:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59bvlm/you_know_you_have_a_problem_when_youre_excited/
---
Seriously I feel a bit better when I realize my stomach has that "no food today or I'll vomit" feel.

[Discussion] Xanax + bronkaid?
/u/fairyspice [5'3" | 112 | 19.8 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 25 10:08:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59bv24/xanax_bronkaid/
---
Would it be counterproductive to take xanax with bronkaid? I'm thinking about starting to take bronkaid but don't want to waste my money/time if they would just cancel each other out. Anyone have experience with it?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 25, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Oct 25 10:02:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59btpm/daily_food_diary_october_25_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 25, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Other] today's 2cal dinner :-) [other]
/u/leatherhoff [5"3 | TOO MUCH | ftm]
Created: Tue Oct 25 09:55:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59bsbm/todays_2cal_dinner_other/
---
http://imgur.com/zwD42RY

[Meme/Humor] This thread is helping me fast! Lol
/u/whatupmyknitta [5'2'' | 165lbs | 30 | -12lbs| female]
Created: Tue Oct 25 09:43:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59bpx4/this_thread_is_helping_me_fast_lol/
---
https://np.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/598qrb/health_inspectors_of_reddit_whats_the_worst/

[Rant/Rave] Fighting the urge to binge so bad right now
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 25 09:24:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59blzk/fighting_the_urge_to_binge_so_bad_right_now/
---
[deleted]

[Meme/Humor] This thread is helping me fast! Lol
/u/whatupmyknitta [5'2'' | 165lbs | 30 | -12lbs| female]
Created: Tue Oct 25 09:13:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59bjwo/this_thread_is_helping_me_fast_lol/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/598qrb/health_inspectors_of_reddit_whats_the_worst/

[Discussion] leaving treament
/u/survi_ving
Created: Tue Oct 25 08:55:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59bgdy/leaving_treament/
---
[removed]

[Other] Reminder: You can easily be 20lbs lighter by 1 Jan ❤
/u/High_as_red [5'4 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 25 08:42:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59bdof/reminder_you_can_easily_be_20lbs_lighter_by_1_jan/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59bdof/reminder_you_can_easily_be_20lbs_lighter_by_1_jan/

[Discussion] How would everyone feel about a clothing exchange or thread? I have a lot of petites to get rid of.
/u/gastastic [5'1 | 118.4 | 26F]
Created: Tue Oct 25 08:25:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59bais/how_would_everyone_feel_about_a_clothing_exchange/
---
I will reply to this main thread with various sizes. Reply to your paticular size with photos for people to see what you're offering. PMs can be exchanged for details if interested in purchase.


[Discussion] Liquid Fast, thoughts and plans
/u/hazelconner [5'4" | 174.5 | 33.2% BF | -15.5 | X/F]
Created: Tue Oct 25 08:17:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59b90a/liquid_fast_thoughts_and_plans/
---
Well I haven't lost much weight at all this month so I'm going to try to liquid fast until Friday when Halloween celebrations kick in and I gotta look normal.

My thoughts to stay as healthy as possible are that I'll allow myself puréed vegetable soups, protein shakes, and maybe (maybe!) fresh juices, along with coffee, tea, diet soda, and water.

I think this is easily sustainable for 3 days and I can keep some nutrition in as well.

Anyone have recommendations or recipes?

[Intro] I guess it's time to do an introduction then
/u/bustyblondefromimgur [starting BMI: 38 - current BMI: 23.7 - goal BMI: 20]
Created: Tue Oct 25 08:12:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59b82l/i_guess_its_time_to_do_an_introduction_then/
---
I, like plenty of people, have semi-lurked here for a long time. I started out pretty heavy and lost 100 pounds starting with the ketogenic diet and slipping into PSMF and then something else. I try to stay under 400 cal a day but I haven't been holding on as well lately. I don't really know what to put in this, I just feel a break coming on and I don't know where else I would post on this

[Discussion] DAE get sick while fasting?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 25 08:03:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59b6ej/dae_get_sick_while_fasting/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] So I'm joining y'all who are fasting today...
/u/daeboo [5ft1/80lbs]
Created: Tue Oct 25 07:52:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59b489/so_im_joining_yall_who_are_fasting_today/
---
Got in fight with boyfriend, boyfriend yelled a lot and called me ugly, etc. I bawled like the little child I am.

I don't have the dignity to leave him, don't have friends to complain to. I just have food and my stupid food problems and my self harm. Its not even his fault since I've known from the start that he doesn't find me attractive.

At this point fasting isn't even about weight loss, its just me throwing in the towel and screaming fuck it, I'm dizzy and tired but fuck food, I'm not touching that shit.

Thanks to everyone who read my rant. I hope all you on this sub have a lovely day <3

[Rant/Rave] i tried to stop from bingeing and purging today after a stressful interview
/u/kinaadman [5'1" | SW 210 | CW 110 | GW: 90 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 25 07:40:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59b2d9/i_tried_to_stop_from_bingeing_and_purging_today/
---
but i couldn't and i don't know why i have no self-control
i was doing really well. last night was such a good night and i fucking hate myself for this

[Meme/Humor] When your mind jumps to calories by default
/u/nauticaI [5'3.5" | BMI 19.8 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 25 07:28:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59b087/when_your_mind_jumps_to_calories_by_default/
---
My BF got a bunch of free snacks from a brand he's doing some marketing for. He pulled them out of his bag and laid them out and said, "How much do you think one of these is?"

I guessed, "I don't know, maybe 250?" And gave him a look like *Am I right?*, expecting him to check the label for calories.

He said, "I'm not sure how much they cost. I'll have to check next time I see them on the shelf."

...lol. He totally meant price and thought I was saying $2.50. Classic?



[Other] body check 10/25 - gap - 5'7, 116-118?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 25 07:26:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59azut/body_check_1025_gap_57_116118/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/87f2eb705cc34f2f9ecfab116c299cd8?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=e3ef0f6934cc97cff5ab897053557a20

[Other] I'm getting a new scale, because I can't trust mine anymore. I'm preparing for my first weigh-in on November 1st.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 25 07:26:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59azsy/im_getting_a_new_scale_because_i_cant_trust_mine/
---
https://i.redd.it/l6ks7zk1gmtx.png

[Rant/Rave] DAE consistently wake up hungry after a binge?
/u/Alexa1p [5'5'' | 110 | 18 | -10.7 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 25 07:21:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59az0e/dae_consistently_wake_up_hungry_after_a_binge/
---
On one hand, I sort of actually enjoy feeling hungry, so it's almost a pleasant feeling. But then again, I usually enjoy feeling hungry because it makes me feel thin and beautiful. I'm actually trying to do homework right now, and if my stomach could shut the fuck up so I could actually focus on something other than how much of a failure I am, that'd be great.

[Discussion] Self-care and Beauty Q+A October 25, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Oct 25 06:02:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59amta/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_october_25_2016/
---

Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

*****

Self-care and beauty threads are posted every Tuesday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Rant/Rave] Is this my life now?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 25 05:51:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59al8a/is_this_my_life_now/
---
[deleted]

[Intro] Introduction?
/u/nicfrae [5'7 | CW151 | BMI24 | GW<116 | -54lbs | F23]
Created: Tue Oct 25 05:20:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59ahi0/introduction/
---
First I would like to say I've lurked for a while I'm glad to have found this safe space of like minded individuals where I (hopefully) won't be judged.
Secondly, I don't know if I have an eating disorder. I know it doesn't need to be diagnosed to be true, but then I feel like at the weight I am, I would be laughed at if I said I might have one.
I live in Japan right now and whilst my eating has become progressively more and more disordered and obsessive, I haven't sought help because of this. I don't have many friends but I haven't mentioned any of this to them in detail because one, I feel like secretly inside they would think that me losing weight is the right thing to do no matter how I do it, and secondly I kind of like the secrecy. I do recognise this as disordered thinking but I also don't want to stop.
Honestly I get a kick out of saying I've eaten something when I - and ONLY I - know that I haven't. Its this secret just for me, it's my thing, and I'm doing an amazing job at it so far.
I've been overweight most of my life, never been thin, and I've lost the majority of my weight over the last 2 years. I think because most people were familiar with the heavier me, they see me now as a fine healthy weight (because compared to the me before it's such a vast improvement), so I'm being told not to lose anymore weight and honestly, it's frustrating. I'm still fat. I'm just smaller now, and smaller than a lot of those people. I want to think that it stems from worry and that they're coming from a good place, but then I also feel like they're either jealous or just want to sabotage me. I don't know.
I'm more and more obsessive about calories with each day, I stick to around 800 as a general rule but I walk at a fast pace everywhere in vain effort to burn more, so my overall intake is slightly less. I understand that this isn't healthy.
But for me, the alternative is so much worse.
I flat out refuse to be fat any longer. It is the thing that never leaves me. I can wear make up, I can wear nice clothes. I'm still fat. I don't want to be.
For me, it's as simple as that.
I tried it the healthy way, and it doesn't cut it anymore.
For me, I just want this one thing to be able to control. That is what I want to tell the people telling me not to restrict - if nothing else, let me have this.
If there is anyone else who has similar feelings or at least understands me, I would appreciate their support.
I know that I don't belong here, not yet, but I don't receive acceptance anywhere else.

[Meme/Humor] Saw this on /r/MeanJokes
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 57.5 | GW ?? | 19.21/18.99 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 25 04:06:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59a8xa/saw_this_on_rmeanjokes/
---
Why do bulimics love KFC?

It comes with a bucket.

😂😭

When are the best times to eat?
/u/reallynuggie
Created: Tue Oct 25 02:11:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/599xf1/when_are_the_best_times_to_eat/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] [Rant/Rave] Hopefully I won't fail for the rest of the week
/u/voidnasp [153cm | CW 59kg | 26.44 | -8kg | F]
Created: Tue Oct 25 00:38:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/599nqp/rantrave_hopefully_i_wont_fail_for_the_rest_of/
---
Yesterday was a hard day. I wanted to restrict so much, but I gave up pretty easily and ate some salty charcuterie for the first time in months. I gave up and didn't watch my sodium intake and felt so guilty about it. It wasn't a binge but it wasn't the right thing to do when I am so close to my first goal of 60kg... I freaked out this morning before weighing myself, but thank God I didn't gain too much. But I feel so guilty for being this weak.

But I have a kind of concert-trip week starting today. I won't have to go home for lunch time. I'll be drinking tons of water at work. I prepared everything in little plastic bags so I know exactly how much I eat. If I don't fuck up and end up buying some food I will eat less than 500kcal per day from today to Sunday. No temptations. No one to watch what I eat. No one to judge me for having my little portions in plastic bags. No one will know I didn't eat before taking up the train or before the concerts.

I have planned everything. It can't go wrong. I'll be fine. Everything will be fine.

[Meme/Humor] There's an add-on for Chrome that randomly generates named cat characters when you open a new tab. I got this one... Seems about right!
/u/smokesanddietcokes [Adipose Industries]
Created: Tue Oct 25 00:08:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/599kfx/theres_an_addon_for_chrome_that_randomly/
---
http://tabbycats.club/h9yjzi

[Help] Best diet pills without caffeine
/u/aaanxiousthrowawayyy
Created: Mon Oct 24 23:20:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/599epo/best_diet_pills_without_caffeine/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] what the fuck is wrong with me
/u/TinyTinyCleverCDR [156 cm | 50.8 kg | 21.73 | -7.7 kg | F]
Created: Mon Oct 24 23:17:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/599eez/what_the_fuck_is_wrong_with_me/
---
I was doing so well. 1 month self-harm free, a couple weeks without binging. Then today I talked to my mom and I just *lost it.*


I don't know why I answered the phone. (Well, I do. I was hoping it'd be my stepdad. He's nice. But I don't know why I didn't hang up when it wasn't him.) It was a mess. She spent the whole conversation detailing why she was *entitled* to me-- saying that I was her best friend before CPS got involved (when I was like 8 lmao. congrats on being such a repulsive human that you have to threaten children to be friends with you), and that the only reason I'm not close to her any more is because living away from her "conditioned me to lies." Never mind the drugs and the violence-- the only reason CPS ever got involved was to *insult her personally.*


I had nothing to say. I just stayed silent until she tired herself out talking. Then I burned the shit out of my shoulder and cried for two hours. Then I ate an entire fucking gallon of ice cream and almost an entire jar of peanut butter.


I hate her. I hate myself. I hate that she thinks she can just bulldoze her own story over the truth, like if she lies to me enough I'll just magically forget all the abuse and we'll be BFFs. I hate how greedy and entitled she is-- she wants to have her cake and eat it too. She wants to do drugs and terrorize me my whole life and then turn around and have a relationship again after she's alienated her current rotation of tweaker frienemies.


And when I binge I can't help but see her same greed in me. I'm a fucking hypocrite. I just wanna keep burning and burning until no part of me resembles her any more.


sorry, this is kinda tl;dr and not really related. i just needed to vent and didn't know where else to go.

[Help] This has been the worst week of my life and I've lost all friends to talk to
/u/stinkyoldcheese [5'5 | 114 | 19.19 | -61 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Oct 24 22:46:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/599acj/this_has_been_the_worst_week_of_my_life_and_ive/
---
I don't post on here all that often but I'm here all the time and i just want someone to talk to. I realized how abusive my "relationship" is as I'm sitting here with ice on my face covered in bruises where he choked me and dragged me by my neck two nights ago. I thought I was going to die and i wish he would have just finished the job. He also punched me three times and my back is aching and sore and bruised now. He left for the night and he still thinks the fight was my fault because I woke him up after he told me to wake him up so he could finish some work... and we aren't even a real couple he still loves his ex it is complete bull so why don't I just leave? Well...

On top of that I lost both of my jobs in two days and I'm broke and didn't get the job I thought I was starting today...

And I'm sorry I'm just really lost and I have been bingeing like crazy i ate at least 12 pop tarts and my mouth hurts too bad to purge. But not too much to stuff my face like a cow?!?! I'm a failure. And I lost my dog and best friend last July and I just want someone to hug I have never felt more alone in my life someone please tell me it gets easier ... tell me it gets better... I don't see any light at the end of this tunnel

Edit : he also repeatedly called me ugly and skinny fat and "crackhead skinny" followed by just calling me "fat"?!? Wha??

[Intro] Here we go....... Again..
/u/Humongo7 [5'2 | CW 186.2 | GW 102 | Female blimp]
Created: Mon Oct 24 22:16:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59961s/here_we_go_again/
---
[removed]

[Other] one of the inflamatory essays by jenny holzer, far too accurate and a little bit beautiful
/u/bumblers [5'8"| 125.3 | -20 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 24 22:13:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5995na/one_of_the_inflamatory_essays_by_jenny_holzer_far/
---
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/f2/19/9d/f2199d04a38155daff0b814734f09287.jpg

[Other] Binge control (on mobile can't flair)
/u/zarnaah [5'5 | 163 | 27.44 | -22lbs | female]
Created: Mon Oct 24 21:45:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5991n3/binge_control_on_mobile_cant_flair/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/b08f83e418f5434bbe5dafd32b384914?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=3e8a19974938e0280c7f8dd4f052cbcb

[Help] Need help to start again.
/u/starkravingsober
Created: Mon Oct 24 21:37:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5990g7/need_help_to_start_again/
---
[removed]

[Thinspo] Daily thinspo.
/u/BlackGirlSteeze
Created: Mon Oct 24 21:32:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/598zn0/daily_thinspo/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/e391cbf2073d4b91b64f188cd7cae327?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=72b5223a30a83214ff644aff5871ffc2

[Rant/Rave] I lost my month long streak on MFP but it's okay
/u/nukemily [5'2 | 129 | 23.59 | -4 | 15F]
Created: Mon Oct 24 21:29:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/598z6o/i_lost_my_month_long_streak_on_mfp_but_its_okay/
---
I went off my antidepressants and ended up trying to commit suicide, my parents took me to the hospital. ended up in a mental hospital. and there was no phone for me for 5 days. it was the worst 5 days of my life. the food was awful!! i couldn't eat any of the meals and ended up snacking from the vending machines so much. gained 7 pounds back, but I think I might do okay guys, it's been two and a half weeks and I'm four down :)

[Other] TFW
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 24 21:05:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/598v9h/tfw/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] 10/24 119lbs
/u/frailraven [5'10 | CW 117 | LW 115 | F20]
Created: Mon Oct 24 20:45:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/598rwv/1024_119lbs/
---
http://i.imgur.com/lixUIi2.jpg

[Help] Those with emetophobia/fear of vomit, have you ever successfully purged?
/u/setniessesed [5'11.5" | CW: 141 GW: 130 | 18.71 | -18lbs | 20/F]
Created: Mon Oct 24 20:37:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/598qqb/those_with_emetophobiafear_of_vomit_have_you_ever/
---
Lately whenever I binge I spend around half an hour over the toilet trying my best to gag myself and throw up. But it usually doesn't get anything up, and when I do feel something, I instinctively panic and swallow instantly. This is so fucking annoying to be honest. I don't know why I'm so goddamn afraid of it. When I hear other people gag or retch I get absolutely terrified and start cold sweating and shaking all over. I literally haven't vomited since 3rd grade, and I'm a junior in college. Why am I like this? I just want to get rid of all the shit I throw in my stomach. I even like gagging and coughing, and tearing up from it; it's stress relieving. I know there are a huge amount of awful health risks associated with purging by vomiting, but honestly at this point I don't give a shit about my health, I'm just trying to keep myself out of the living hell that was going on when I weighed more and constantly hated myself.


Anyone with emetophobia. Have you successfully overcame it and made yourself vomit?


I hate living like this. I just want to be able to have a normal relationship with food. But I have no idea how.

[Discussion] [Discussion] Going to an ED support group tomorrow...
/u/archersarrows [5'6" | 115 | 18.6 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 24 20:12:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/598mfv/discussion_going_to_an_ed_support_group_tomorrow/
---
A recovery group. I do not want to recover. I do not want to change. I'm going literally because my boyfriend worries about my current weight, and the fact that I keep losing even though he watches me eat.

Not only that, but I've got this pathological fear that I'm going to roll up to the group and be surrounded by actual skinny people. And that there'll be food, ha.

[Discussion] Anyone else think they look huge from the front?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 24 19:35:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/598gcy/anyone_else_think_they_look_huge_from_the_front/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Is this a fuckin joke?
/u/xcris19x [5'3 | FATFATFAT | Fat | F| UGW: 100/105]
Created: Mon Oct 24 19:16:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/598d3k/is_this_a_fuckin_joke/
---
http://imgur.com/Um3ZClw

[Intro] Lurker, finally introducing myself
/u/DontMindMeJustBingin [183cm/6'0" | CW 60kg/132lbs | BMI 17.92 | GW 58kg/128lbs| Male]
Created: Mon Oct 24 18:46:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/598808/lurker_finally_introducing_myself/
---
Hello!

Instant warning: long intro, feel free to skip to a TL;DR at the end.

Been a lurker on this subreddit for a while now (Since May?) and decided to finally create an account. So it's time to do an intro! Basic stats are in my flair, I'm currently living in London, UK (I noticed a few others from here) and I'm 21.

Never really had a problem with food until I developed severe depression (and suicidal thoughts) after failing to pass some exams. After flunking the exams, I decided to lose weight as a means to take back control of my situation. I started at a weight of 83kg/183lbs in September and dropped down to 70kg/154lbs by new year, and whilst I was pleased with the weight loss I still didn't find it to be enough. I decided to go down to 68kg. This didn't prove to be much of a challenge as I was cycling nearly every day and got to my goal after a couple of weeks. Around this time I started to get comments from family that I look sick (BMI 20.3, seriously???). I decided not to listen to anyone after finding out about /r/fatlogic . I decided to go down to 65kg thinking that that would be the final goal. Of course I was wrong, after lingering at 65kg for a while I decided 62kg... then the same things at that weight and I dropped down to 60kg. At this time I was basically being forced to eat far far far too much food for any human. It was easily 3000kcal. Result being that I would fast whenever possible and throw away food. I would make sure that I always ate in front of other family members and made sure they remembered that I ate (eg. Saying how great something tastes). Of course none of this really helped too much and I got up to about 63kg. I finally moved away from my parents in September (weight 62kg) after retaking and luckily passing the exams, leaving the scale behind.

After some financial woes, some pretty good fasts and some unfortunately huge binges I got a scale and after a binge I weighed 59.8kg today.I'm hoping that the scale will relieve some pressure I had and stop me from over eating. I could have sworn I had gained by my reflection in the mirror (but clothes were noticeably looser).

I also noticed a trend: when I binge I get lazy and unproductive. I detest that. That was the old me. This is one the main reasons why I am currently not seeking to improve my eating habits as I fear it would change me to the person I once was and hate.

My disordered eating has noticably changed me, to be frank for the better: I don't eat unhealthy food (I binge on healthy food mainly), I'm more productive, I keep everything spotless and organised, I try to be more sociable (however I'm finding it extremely difficult what with my financial situation and ALL social events revolving around food, alcohol), I don't drink any alcohol unless I have to. I've picked up running, walk over 85k steps a week, cycle at least half an hour a day. Stay on top of coursework and generally try to have a positive attitude towards life.


Of course it's also had a negative impact: I avoid a lot of healthy food purely for the calorie content: nuts, fruit, juice, dairy milk (I eat muesli and drink coffee so it stacks up). I also get ill a lot more easily and stay ill for longer. I'm very very cold and it isn't even December/January yet. I tend to also waste a lot of food too: I only cook for myself and I can't get through most produce by the time it goes out of date.

Very sorry for such a long intro, I've been meaning to introduce myself for a while and all of you are so kind! This is honestly my favourite subreddit.



TL;DR
Long time lurker, started losing weight as a means to gain back control. My ED has changed me mostly for the better and I feel like I can't recover in fear of reverting back to my old lazy and unproductive self.

[Goal] NSV - I never thought I'd actually be able to wear these! But I can now, comfortably.
/u/morose_adipose [5'2 | 90 lbs | 17.05 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 24 18:26:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5984gh/nsv_i_never_thought_id_actually_be_able_to_wear/
---
https://i.redd.it/fj82a0jjlitx.jpg

can you see a difference in my face here? 30lb difference.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 24 18:03:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5980b5/can_you_see_a_difference_in_my_face_here_30lb/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/27301c33f13c4a01acd686c27f033716?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=e804ee5c14cab07fb8302c071251a71d

[Intro] 90 DAYS IN - STATS (scroll to bottom for explanation) - also, nice to meet you guys!
/u/light_hollow_space [5'4 | CW: 159 | BMI 27 | -36 | F | GW: 125 | LW: 99 | HW: 198]
Created: Mon Oct 24 16:51:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/597ndd/90_days_in_stats_scroll_to_bottom_for_explanation/
---
https://imgur.com/a/VXi6V

this card i bought really speaks to me
/u/girlinamber [5'4 | too much | not enough | f]
Created: Mon Oct 24 16:47:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/597mjx/this_card_i_bought_really_speaks_to_me/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/cff4146e5d984c4f80c39d2bcac6e433?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=7349bb32c4e5c613bf9ede0bbedf3090

[Intro] This is me around my Lowest Weight - scroll to bottom of photos for explanation
/u/light_hollow_space [5'4 | CW: 159 | BMI 27 | -36 | F | GW: 125 | LW: 99 | HW: 198]
Created: Mon Oct 24 16:23:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/597i5g/this_is_me_around_my_lowest_weight_scroll_to/
---
https://imgur.com/a/eOy9n

[Rant/Rave] Confessions from a Lunatic
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64" | 119# | 20.9 BMI | -104# | F]
Created: Mon Oct 24 15:39:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5979d9/confessions_from_a_lunatic/
---
Part of why I haven't lost weight in 3 months is because I'm afraid world war 3 is on the horizon and I don't want to starve to death within one week of loss of food supply.

I'm equally terrified of being fat and being too thin to survive the Trumpocalypse.

Why do I even have to CONSIDER this?!??!? I see little difference between a political race that includes him, and a group of people gleefully pissing on the graves at Arlington. I'm terrified.


I'm sorry if this is t appropriate for the sub. But it relates to my ED.

I just want to bury myself in a hole and never come out. I can't take it anymore. If you think Dinosaurs were put in the ground by the devil as a test of faith, you are not competent enough to vote. Yet you still get to. What fun.

I wish this could be FUCKING OVER ALREADY so I can starve as I see fit.

/DumbCuntRanting

[Other] The silver lining to being sick!
/u/EmpireStateBitch [5'4" | CW 120 | GW 115 | UGW 100 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 24 15:34:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5978l2/the_silver_lining_to_being_sick/
---
I got sick today, and puked all night and day. Lost 4lbs from all the puking! And I was too sick to eat all day.



[Rant/Rave] I'm single, I guess
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 24 15:34:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5978l0/im_single_i_guess/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Black Mirror episode Fifteen Million Merits
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 24 15:30:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5977ta/black_mirror_episode_fifteen_million_merits/
---
[deleted]

[Tip] UK BEAUTIES - it's not quite Halo Top but I found Oppo. It's low cal ice cream coming in at 385 cals per pint in three flavours. Link to website posted below. Available at waitrose, tesco and co-op. It really is nowhere near as good as Halo, but it'll do for a Halloween treat replacement! 💕
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 24 15:29:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5977jl/uk_beauties_its_not_quite_halo_top_but_i_found/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/b4262cac42a34680b184952466152fd7?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=0b6a17168052c0a8cd21a2f90ed0942e

[Rant/Rave] Upside To Every Downside [Long Post, tl;dr]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 24 15:06:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5972sr/upside_to_every_downside_long_post_tldr/
---
[deleted]

[Help] A terrible weekend
/u/little-paws
Created: Mon Oct 24 14:22:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/596ty9/a_terrible_weekend/
---
I feel like a bloated whale. I've eaten and drunk and done everything to excess.

Now I want to just be empty again. I'm panicking because my boyfriend is visiting in a couple of days and I am such a fat fuck.

[Goal] I haven't seen this since high school. So insignificant, but I feel so accomplished!
/u/newportshorty [5'9 | CW:180 | -40]
Created: Mon Oct 24 14:07:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/596qw3/i_havent_seen_this_since_high_school_so/
---
http://imgur.com/27yIJJR

[Discussion] What not to say?
/u/neveraunicorn [5'6" | 166 | 26.9 | -84 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 24 13:49:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/596n0h/what_not_to_say/
---
My doctor (and mother) want me to see a shrink. He thinks I have anxiety (hah...tip of the iceberg, buddy!) and that I need some counseling to work through my troubles. I am NOT ready to talk about anything food/weight/eating related. I saw someone mention say that saying "tracking my food helps me feel in control" is a big ED red flag to therapists. I was wondering if y'all know of any other things that I can avoid saying during the visits. Thanks in advance. Y'all are all wonderful people.

[Other] Weeee, I'm so happy for once.
/u/Miss_Embie [5'6" | 130 | 20.9 | -22| F]
Created: Mon Oct 24 13:45:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/596m92/weeee_im_so_happy_for_once/
---
So I really just wanted to share my news as I'm so happy!! I had a hospital appointment today. I'ver spent like 8 or more years trying to get sterilized but being under 30 I always had the answer, no, but today they said yes!! So in 3 to 6 months I'll be sterilized!! Now I another reason to keep losing the horrid weight, least I can try and look good on an operation table.

[Tip] Fun fact!
/u/TummyRumblz [5'8" | CW:162.8| LW: 146 | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 24 13:11:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/596f8b/fun_fact/
---
Crying burns 1.3 calories per minute

[Tip] Vitamins for Sensitive/Empty Tummy!
/u/commeunecho [5'7 | 123 | 19.25 | -17 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 24 13:11:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/596f53/vitamins_for_sensitiveempty_tummy/
---
Basically my stomach is really sensitive to supplements (especially when it's empty or almost empty, which is most of the time...) , I think vitamin B in particular, and it was hard to keep vitamins down.

I just started taking the Nature's Bounty [Multivitamin](https://www.amazon.com/Natures-Bounty-Gummies-75-Count-Package/dp/B003N23374/ref=sr_1_2_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1477335829&sr=8-2&keywords=gummy+multivitamin+nature%27s+bounty) and [B12](https://www.amazon.ca/Natures-Bounty-Vitamin-Gummies-Count/dp/B00X3G5TD6/ref=pd_sim_121_2?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=DYW4DZY3N4YSVWG4JRB1) gummies after really liking their [Biotin](https://www.amazon.com/Natures-Bounty-Optimal-Solutions-Gummies/dp/B00G36TJKW/ref=pd_sim_121_3?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B00G36TJKW&pd_rd_r=GR2J2HZ2S7QDC71XSRZT&pd_rd_w=wNzOs&pd_rd_wg=D6l4c&refRID=GR2J2HZ2S7QDC71XSRZT&th=1) and they don't hurt my stomach or make me nauseous at all, even without food! bless up~

If anyone is restricting and hesitant to take vitamins because they hurt your stomach, I recommend these. They are about 15 cals per 2 gummies, but worth it for safety~
<3

[Other] Not my GW by any means, but I've lost 10lbs in 5 weeks & I'm proud of my continuous progress
/u/notworthausername [5'7" | 129 | 20.1 | -10 | 26F]
Created: Mon Oct 24 13:05:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/596dzo/not_my_gw_by_any_means_but_ive_lost_10lbs_in_5/
---
https://i.redd.it/j98zl9mb0htx.png

[Other] Even though I had to eat way more than I intended to this evening....
/u/aerienne [5'5" | 145.8 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 24 12:43:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59697h/even_though_i_had_to_eat_way_more_than_i_intended/
---
...my insanely slow digestion system is there to support me. After years of bulimia, it seems to take hours before my food even starts to digest. I can throw up food from this morning while it's almost bedtime.

My terrible acid reflux and GERD was bothering me. I made a beautiful dinner tonight and no one ate it. So I had some. Knowing I can just throw it all up in an hour is oddly reassuring. I used to have to get out food as fast as I could, now it's like 'Eh, it'll be there a while.'

It's terrible, but I feel no guilt. Just dark humor.

[Goal] I lost all the weight I gained at the beginning of the semester!!
/u/dongledongs [5'6" | 137 lbs | -14 | GW 115 | 22.11 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 24 12:39:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5968fi/i_lost_all_the_weight_i_gained_at_the_beginning/
---
I gained 10 lbs at the beginning of the semester and I've been plateuing at 143 for a loooooooong time. But thanks to my card malfunctioning this weekend I had an excuse to starve it off(lmao) and the scale wavered between 136 and 137!!! I'm so friggin happy y'all. Next I'm gonna aim for 130 and when I get to the 120's I'm gonna treat myself to a cute outfit!


Love y'all and I hope you all reach your small goal this week!

[Help] Loose skin
/u/scaredalternate [5'5'' | 166 | GW 160 | UGW 120 | -54lbs | M]
Created: Mon Oct 24 12:22:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5964tu/loose_skin/
---
I was at 110 at my lightest when I was put on medication that made me go up to 220 in 9 months and maintain there despite everything I tried to go down.

Since July I have been able to restrict and get myself down to 178, I have also been building a lot of muscle in my arms, legs, and core.

Now I am left with all of this loose skin, mostly on my thighs and stomach, but some on my arms. It makes me feel so uncomfortable because it just hangs there and makes my body look disgusting if I try to wear a tight fitting shirt or shorts.

[Rant/Rave] Why why why do people insist on commenting on my eating habits
/u/pinotblanc [5'3 | GW:115 | 23.2 | -23 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 24 11:58:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/595zmu/why_why_why_do_people_insist_on_commenting_on_my/
---
"You need to come eat lunch with me at 1pm because you didn't bring anything", said by one of my friends.

My response was i dont have money to spend until Friday (which is true) and that I ate breakfast (not true but whatever). I've used the excuse that I'm eating healthier but that never worked. I've said I'm not hungry and I'm not going to eat when I'm not hungry, that didn't work.

"But you don't eat regularly which is not okay."

My response then was that I was literally going to eat at 3pm when I got home. Only 2 hours after she wanted to get lunch. And that I eat 3 meals a day (not true).

Why why why do you care?? I don't want a cheeseburger! I don't want fast food! *And* I don't have extra money to spend!

[Discussion] Why are you starving?
/u/color_me_thin
Created: Mon Oct 24 11:44:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/595wp9/why_are_you_starving/
---
What's your motivation? (Long or short term)

Personally I've convinced myself that I'll finally like what l see in the mirror once I hit goal, that maybe the boy that I like could finally like me back. The feeling of success I get when I lose.

(On mobile can't flair)

[Help] Trying to Ignore the "little voice", those thoughts that pop off randomly just to make sure that I never recover
/u/pocket-morty [5'1" | 163 | 30 | -27 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 24 11:13:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/595q3b/trying_to_ignore_the_little_voice_those_thoughts/
---
I have been working OVERTIME lately trying to get to a place of balance. Unfortunately BED has caused me to gain a lot of weight and I'm trying so hard to lose the weight without playing into my normal cycles.


Something that makes it hard is that my mind is constantly experiencing thoughts that make it hard to let a little loose and less restrictive.



I'm still not sure exactly why I binge, I know I need professional help for that but I'm just not ready for that. I've tried to work with my therapist about BED but its just really hard for me to be vulnerable so I lie. And after I always know I'm sabotaging myself, but I still just continue fucking lying to everyone. Anyway, that's why I'm not doing therapy for BED or for anything right now. It started to feel like a waste of money to go because I just kept lying and saying things that I knew would make me seem healthy.



In the meantime I've realized that I always crash and burn and binge, binge, BINGE after a cycle of restriction which I think is pretty typical. My solution was to do higher restriction so I can eat more but still hit below my TDEE and lose weight slowly. The problem is, I come up with plans to do eat more calories and I still deep down know it will only last a few days. It's not quite a defeatist attitude so much as I feel that deep inside I have a separate person who has plan of their own. For example, I try to find balance or a gray area but ultimately my thinking always becomes so black and white. I'm either eating several thousand calories and hating myself for it, or I'm stressing out about saying under a certain number and hating myself about it. My limit always gets lower and lower until I can't do it anymore and then I feel like a failure, so I just say "fuck it" and go on a binge haul at the grocery story or fast food spots by my house.



I just realized this when I decided to try again for higher restriction, so I thought to myself, "OK, I'm gonna try to hit just below 1200 each day and not stress it." It's just hard because the little voice in my head is telling me "yeah your limit is 1200 but you better stay below 1,000." and then again, the voice says so "1200 is the limit you tell people, but 1,000 is your true limit and in reality you better not eat fucking more than 700 calories."


Anyway, Idk if others experience this but if you do, do you have any advice for ignoring the thoughts or over coming them? Even if you don't have this experience, please give me any ideas or suggestions on how you fight against your own brain.

[Other] Participants needed for online ED study
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 24 11:03:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/595nqb/participants_needed_for_online_ed_study/
---
[deleted]

Me_irl
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 24 10:59:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/595mtx/me_irl/
---
http://i.imgur.com/63Q2lUf.gifv

[Goal] Anyone want to join me in committing to a binge-free week?
/u/mmm_erythritol
Created: Mon Oct 24 10:42:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/595jdk/anyone_want_to_join_me_in_committing_to_a/
---
I'm ashamed to say its been a long time since I've made it a week without bingeing... I desperately want to get my shit together and break down this horrible habit/compulsion/whatever–starting with a small goal of one binge-free week. Mondays make a great day 1, so here I am.
I want to post here for accountability through the week or, if it's allowed, do a daily post (just until Sunday) where I and any who want to join can get some encouragement and talk about our struggles and goals within the context of making it a week without bingeing.
So, if you want to join me, comment below and commit to a binge-free week! Also feel free to share any other goals you have :)
Together we can do this!

[Meme/Humor] when you take a few bites to make your parents happy and then spit it out when they're not looking
/u/clamshells [5'7 | 115 | 18.0 | f]
Created: Mon Oct 24 10:41:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/595j53/when_you_take_a_few_bites_to_make_your_parents/
---
http://i.imgur.com/63Q2lUf.gif

[Meme/Humor] when you take a few bites to make your parents happy and then spit it out when they're not looking
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 24 10:39:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/595iqm/when_you_take_a_few_bites_to_make_your_parents/
---
http://i.imgur.com/63Q2lUf.gifv

What's your #1 enemy food?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 24 10:25:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/595fr1/whats_your_1_enemy_food/
---
[deleted]

[Meme/Humor] Mom: "You look anorexic" Me (pissed off): "Um maybe, because I am?"
/u/Greenteapls [5'5" | 100 | 16.84 | -35 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 24 10:22:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/595f0x/mom_you_look_anorexic_me_pissed_off_um_maybe/
---
http://imgur.com/PcadQml

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 24, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Oct 24 10:03:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/595asa/daily_food_diary_october_24_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 24, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Thinspo] [Request] Fantasy-Inspired Thinspo like these? I'm thinking Elves, Fairies, Pixies, Nymphs, etc.
/u/lyxil [5' 0"| 93 lb | 19.13 | -47 | f]
Created: Mon Oct 24 10:01:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/595ack/request_fantasyinspired_thinspo_like_these_im/
---
http://imgur.com/a/VNeLn

[Rant/Rave] Ruined Food
/u/oksneaky [63in | CW: 126.8 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 24 09:50:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59582i/ruined_food/
---
TL;DR - Whine about my food being ruined by leaving my freezer open, no need to read my vent I just need to type it :(

I came home after an all day day-date with the bf to find that my freezer was open. I don't know if it had been just the time we were gone (lunch, movies, shopping, etc, ~8 hours) or from the evening before. I don't know if it was me or him, and I'm not going to even ask him and just say it was me who did it so he doesn't feel bad. So... food is ruined. ALL my frozen chicken breasts I bought in bulk on sale, several Michelina's, turkey sausage, so much hamburger meat... all the soups that I meal-prepped, the prepped crack chicken... anything with meat. I've left frozen veggies out before for a long time and I am still going to eat those few packs even though they might not taste as good, but the meat is all done 100%. I spent this morning throwing away so much money. This month has been shit.

I guess today I'll just have coffee and see what I find around the office or just fast since I have nothing to eat. I didn't feel like trying to pack a lunch after I threw away all that food even though the fridge food was still fine, it's not much left in there to really make. Now I need to do some grocery shopping and meal prep to get my freezer back stocked or I will convince myself that eating out every meal is necessary like I use to since I don't have anything that I can prepare quickly :(



[Goal] For those of you stuck in weight gain cycle
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 24 09:17:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5951pp/for_those_of_you_stuck_in_weight_gain_cycle/
---
[deleted]

[Other] I have a friend who's recovering
/u/k-w- [5'5 | CW 95 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 24 08:42:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/594uud/i_have_a_friend_whos_recovering/
---
Sorry no flair, I'm on my phone.

I have a friend in recovery from anorexia. She was hospitalized last year and I'm not sure how "recovered" she is now. She doesn't know about my ED afaik, and I don't want her to find out.

From the moment she told me about it (before she was hospitalized) I have been worried that by telling her I could worsen her ED, and also that if I told her she'd think I was trying to copy her because I haven't told anyone or been diagnosed. She knows my diet isn't exactly "healthy," because before she told me about her anorexia, we talked about how we both are vegetarians and also really picky eaters and will only eat certain foods.

I recently got out of a psych hospital. I was there because of my suicidal ideations, not ED. She's the only person I know who would understand something like this and I feel so alone.

I'm not sure if she even wants to be my friend anymore. I kind of isolated myself in my depression and we haven't really hung out in about a year. It just occurred to me that she might be on this sub. If you're reading this, hi!

[Help] New here, stats how-to?
/u/light_hollow_space [5'4 | CW: 159 | BMI 27 | -36 | F | GW: 125 | LW: 99 | HW: 198]
Created: Mon Oct 24 08:20:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/594qvd/new_here_stats_howto/
---
I can't figure out how to put my stats my name and I am feeling soooo stoooopid. Can anyone point me in the right direction? I swear I looked around on the FAQ and couldn't find it.

[Rant/Rave] Now I understand that distinctive Chuck E. Cheese's smell...
/u/CowOffTheFarm [65" | 145 | 24.41 | - | F | GW 120]
Created: Mon Oct 24 08:19:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/594qlq/now_i_understand_that_distinctive_chuck_e_cheeses/
---
Pizza vomit is the worst. Sauce + stomach acid = satan. Plus the cheesey bread combo, ewww. I filled up that binge with a bunch of other processed foods (hot pockets mostly) and the all the preservatives and chemically things just add an extra layer of ugh. I wasn't intending on purging, and after that i'm never going to binge on pizza again. Last night was bad y'all.

Saw blood on the toilet paper this morning. It all makes sense now.

body check 10/24, 115-118?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 24 08:05:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/594o5m/body_check_1024_115118/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/f9a2d83acb844669b957e16c6a072246?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=dd55720bc6ec18ad855a30f840ed4f88

[Goal] Great weekend
/u/erilaz- [5'7 | CW: 185 | GW: 110 | -45lbs | F]
Created: Mon Oct 24 07:58:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/594ms9/great_weekend/
---
I weighed myself after a weekend of eating chicken Alfredo pizza and cookies and was scared of the scale but I lost 4 pounds since last week. Makes me feel like my self control around junk food is becoming a habit which made me feel good. I really didn't want to gain since I'm in a wedding this weekend. Hopefully I can get under 180 for it ☺️

I hope y'all had good weekends as well!!!

[Help] Advice on relationship issue?
/u/LeLierre [5'7 | 134.4 | 21.05 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 24 07:01:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/594d9h/advice_on_relationship_issue/
---
Hey guys, I'm on my alt right now since my BF knows my other account- but I'd really appreciate your input on something.

The other day I sent my BF a photo of me from 2 years ago (where I weigh 20lbs less than I do now). He said he probably wouldn't have spoken to me back then since, I quote, "You were just *too* pretty, *too* perfect. You looked like you were on top of your shit *and* everyone else's. The way you look now makes you a lot more approachable."

Which, I basically took to mean "Hey, LeLierre, you've let yourself go. But that's okay, I like you fat, because I'm kind of lacking in confidence myself." When I pointed out my interpretation to him, he just kind of stammered and changed the topic after finally admitting that yes, I was objectively more attractive when I was thinner.

So guys, I'm actually really *really* torn up about this. Should I bring it up with him again, or just keep my head down and restrict more so I can hopefully get back to that point?

[Help] DAE wake up feeling extremely bloated?
/u/pinotblanc [5'3 | GW:115 | 23.2 | -23 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 24 07:00:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/594d6x/dae_wake_up_feeling_extremely_bloated/
---
Sometimes I wake up and I feel like a beached whale. Even though the day before I only drank tea and water, and had less than 500 calories. The only "processed" food I eat is 2 tbs of fat free feta cheese in salads and I watch my sodium intake.

What am I doing wrong?

[Other] Monday morning reflection!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 24 06:41:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/594a2n/monday_morning_reflection/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/8c9b81d2d5054da8b053275015b51a2c?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=8c61000807c4c20c465875f5f6de1a02

[Other] Good morning, lovelies 💕
/u/SpitAndPennyStyle [5"2' |SW:~185 | CW: 157.5 *drinks bleach*| GW:105 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 24 06:19:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5946yf/good_morning_lovelies/
---
Today is a bright new day and every day is a new opportunity to start over. We all have our setbacks. It is never too late to get back in the saddle. I hope you guys have a brilliant day 💕 I'll be sending positive vibes ✌🏻

[Rant/Rave] Never felt guilt like this-
/u/WhyRedTape [5'6 | 156lbs | 23.40 | -29lbs |]
Created: Mon Oct 24 06:18:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5946r0/never_felt_guilt_like_this/
---
At this point I'm not sure how to feel aside from ashamed.

Early July I fell sick. Really sick. I couldn't move due to the intense pain and even drinking was enough to make me dread it, let alone eating. Constant trips to the bathroom and eventually blood where there shouldn't ever be. In one weekend I lost more weight than I could in a month and hate myself for wishing it would happen again.

Yet despite how horribly painful it was, I hate that i want it back. I hate that i wish I hadn't binged afterwards. I almost despise myself for wishing it would crop back up despite ending up in the emergency room. I almost feel ill just because I want to be that sick again, too lose the weight I'm desperate to lose at all costs. I feel lost because of it. No matter how hard I try, how well I restrict, I just end up back in a b/p cycle, trying desperately to just break it again.

I'm mostly just mad at myself, or ashamed

Flair- can't flair due to mobile. Should be rant/rave

[Tip] PGX fiber
/u/tattoo987654321 [5'5" | 137 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Oct 24 06:05:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5944z1/pgx_fiber/
---
On my phone, sorry for no flair. Also sorry if this breaks any rules!

I just bought a bottle of PGX fiber pills at Whole Foods (for $32, fffffuuu). They're only 10 cals a pill and each one is 2g of fiber, but you're supposed to work up to taking like 12 a day. They're awesome! They definitely help keep me full, you HAVE to drink a ton of water with them so you don't get constipated (which helps with the whole staying full bit), and it's an easy way to add fiber to your diet (I saw the post about the colon cancer and it made me think to post this.) I've been using them as a breakfast sub, because combined with coffee, they keep me from feeling hungry for ages. Highly recommended! You don't even have to take them with food.

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! October 24, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Oct 24 06:03:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5944qd/weekly_stats_update_october_24_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for October 24, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

*****

Status threads are posted every Monday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Help] What the holy hell
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 24 05:54:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5943jw/what_the_holy_hell/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] DAE get weird/odd food cravings?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 24 03:48:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/593orx/dae_get_weirdodd_food_cravings/
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[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] I was going to have a maintenance week this week to get my strength up for a race on the 31st. I was looking forward to having a reason to not be hungry. Now it's here I just.. can't.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [Adipose Industries]
Created: Mon Oct 24 03:05:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/593kgc/i_was_going_to_have_a_maintenance_week_this_week/
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The illusion of choice.

I *always* tell myself.. I can stop fasting and restricting whenever I like, and start eating normally. It's just a matter of choice. I choose to have a problem with eating. I choose to have a problem not being comfortable 'within a healthy BMI', and wanting to be lower. I choose to avoid and practically fear the grand majority of food.

So I chose to eat for this race. It's only a 5k, but it's a very important event for me. VERY important.. as in, I've been looking forward to this for a YEAR.

It was an easy choice, to choose to eat for a week leading up to it to make damn sure I would be running it at my full strength. To choose to include carbs, even more carbs than usual. I had a meal plan and everything, stocked up on some foods, planned to make a nice egg bake and suchwhat. Put on a pound? That's nothing! I've been anticipating this race for so so long! It's worth it, right!

But the Monday of this 'maintenance week' is here and I just *cannot*. I don't want to eat. I don't want to waste time that could be spent losing weight, by maintaining. Worse than maintaining, what if I eat and then end up *over*eating because one thing leads to another as it so often does for me? I certainly don't want to put weight ON. That pound or two I didn't think I cared about? Who am I kidding. I care. So much. Shit.

I think about the race and tell myself that I don't need to eat for it *just* yet. Who needs a full week of eating for a race? It's only 5k. It's not a marathon. Fast today as usual. Try to fast tomorrow as usual, probably fail have a snack in the evening as usual. Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, try to restrict as usual. I usually eat more Saturdays and Sundays anyway, as my partner is usually with me those days.. he wont be with me this weekend though, but I can start eating for my race then anyway. I'll just shove in those carbs. Maybe it'll even work out better that way, somehow. It'll be enough at least.

I'm sure if I look hard enough, I can twist science to find a reason why not eating, even in anticipation of a race, is a good idea.

So many people in this subreddit seem to love being hungry and see it as success when they are. I'm different, I *hate* being hungry.. but it's a necessary, oh so fucking necessary, evil. I can't love being hungry, but I can't *stop* being hungry.

I can stop being hungry Saturday. I'll even give myself 4 days off from then, the Saturday and Sunday leading up to it, the Monday of the race, and the day after as a reward - and because my partner will be with me then anyway.

I hope I don't suck at my special Halloween race.

[Discussion] I feel like a fraud.
/u/slytherinsedona [5'5 | 115.0 | 19.1 | -25.0 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 24 02:38:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/593htn/i_feel_like_a_fraud/
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So the sorority I'm in is partnered with an organization that supports body positivity. We're supposed to write "inspirational messages" across campus such as "smile you're beautiful" and "size doesn't matter". This being said, I love my sorority. I love the philanthropy we do, and I wholeheartedly love my sisters for who they are. But I feel like a total fucking fraud going out and telling people to love themselves and that they're beautiful and that size doesn't matter when I know those things don't apply to me. Like I have absolutely no room to hop on the body positivity train when I literally avoid meals at the house with my sisters and can barely stand to look at myself. DAE feel this way if you're in this type of situation?

[Rant/Rave] I just keep fucking up.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 24 01:43:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/593cl6/i_just_keep_fucking_up/
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[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Lost a bit of weight since I last came here. 106 to 98 lbs. BUT I FEEL BIGGER!
/u/prettythin [5'5" | 98 | 16.5 | -47 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 24 01:34:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/593bqm/lost_a_bit_of_weight_since_i_last_came_here_106/
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Can't seem to edit my flair but I'm currently 5,5" and 98 lbs. My bmi is 16.5 but I swear I look and feel bigger than I ever have before. I don't get it. My stomach is bigger, my legs are atrocious. My ribs hardly poke out at all. I pretty much only have collar bones and hip bones. Why? Just.. why?! I thought 100 pounds would be the magic number but no. I'll always be too big.

[Rant/Rave] New favorite drink! 10 calories a bottle, full of flavor, and no artificial sweeteners! :)
/u/Waterlover85 [5'4"~ CW: 127 BMI: 22.2 ~ GW: 89 ~ lbs lost: 23 ~ female]
Created: Mon Oct 24 00:40:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/593649/new_favorite_drink_10_calories_a_bottle_full_of/
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https://i.redd.it/o5jemzi3bdtx.jpg

[Rant/Rave] "i didn't wanna say anything"
/u/gin-and-lemon [🐝 5'1"| cw: 150lbs | bmi: 29 | -15lbs | f]
Created: Mon Oct 24 00:08:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5932nh/i_didnt_wanna_say_anything/
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"but like, your face looks so thin! i swear you've lost weight since being in the city"

my closest friend in the city who knows about my ed 'history' ('but its totally in the past!!!') just told me this today

the scale says i haven't lost much, my bmi is still obese, and its not like i've lost inches, far as i can tell, so literally all the weight i lost came from my face? that's neat

(my cheekbones are cool rn because even if i don't bother contouring, it looks like i kinda did anyway)

like im not sure if this is a nsv or like what

[Rant/Rave] My birthday is today.
/u/BlackGirlSteeze
Created: Sun Oct 23 23:46:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59301i/my_birthday_is_today/
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I'm turning 20 and the only thing I'm doing is going to therapy.

[Discussion] I feel like this makes me a horrible person, but...
/u/kinaadman [5'1" | SW 210 | CW 110 | GW: 90 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 23 23:16:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/592wgl/i_feel_like_this_makes_me_a_horrible_person_but/
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I've been going through a tough time lately and using food to cope with stress (death in the family, having to take care of people, etc.). I'm trying to get back on track with my weight loss, which is easier when I'm at work because...well...I work with a lot of big girls. And I look at them and think to myself, "That'll be you if you binge again today." The desire to eat goes away altogether. It's better than coffee. It makes me feel like a horrible person, but it works. Does anyone else do this?

[Help] Anyone (successfully) get out of a binge/bp/cs cycle?
/u/MarquessOfCats [5'2 | Fat | F]
Created: Sun Oct 23 22:45:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/592sk9/anyone_successfully_get_out_of_a_bingebpcs_cycle/
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For the majority of my ED I've almost exclusively restricted. Long story short, after a certain traumatic incident mixed with a bunch of stress, I've fallen into a huge BP and CS cycle for the past 4 months. I BP about once every two days and CS multiple times a day. :/

I'm maintaining (gaining + losing the same 5lbs) but scared I'll gain. I've always been mostly a restricter, and this is super unusual for me.

Has anyone else gone from restriction to BP and managed to get back to just plain 'ol restricting? (Or at least lessened the amount they've done it?). Any tips or advice on how to stop this? I'm so tired of this and feel like shit.

[Discussion] DAE feel just...so fucking weird?
/u/The_Marshmallow_Test [5'5 | CW:dont weigh :3| GW:skinny arms| F]
Created: Sun Oct 23 22:43:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/592sbk/dae_feel_justso_fucking_weird/
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Do you guys have weird secret habits, that are not strictly ED related you want to share?

Sometimes i feel like I'm actually a crazy person who has somehow managed to trick everyone into thinking I'm not for the last 23 years.

Maybe it's only a NY (or big city) thing, but you know those vaguely creepy old ladies you see sometimes? They look like they have been fossilized in a lifetime of strange habits. Like this tiny old lady on my block *always* wears all black, and this overdrawn dark purple lipstick. Probably when she was young, it was just a slightly eccentric, cool "look". But now, it's like there's something just...off about her.

But tbh sometimes I feel like i'm looking at my future when I see her.

I have so many strange habits, I've had them for so long and I can feel myself being calcified inside them. Here's some of the secret weird shit I do, in no particular order.

- I DESTROY my fingers. I was like lmaooo when y'all were uploading hand pics, cause mine are literally so gross it would have been hilarious if I uploaded one. It started when I was 12, because my cuticles weren't "perfect" and they annoyed me. But I didn't like just pushing them back because I knew they were still "there" even if I couldn't see them. So I would peel the cuticle skin off, but sometimes I would end up peeling off finger skin, so then I would have to "fix" it by peeling off the leftover skin flap on my finger...etc. Flash forward a decade and the entire first knuckle of most of my fingers look so bizarre. I am *constantly* picking at the skin, it's so gross but I don't even care, they are truly beyond repair at this point.

- I *have* to wear black eyeliner ever day, I have worn it the same way since I was 16. Im not kidding, I did a month long trek in the Himalayas and I still put on eyeliner every morning. Straight up. Literally at 15,000 feet elevation, wind in my eyes, snot all over my face- wearing black winged eyeliner. It's not even really to look good, l just don't feel like me without it.


- I also compulsively reapply my makeup. I only wear eyeliner, mascara and a bit of concealer. But I touch them up constantly. Even if I am completely alone. Like I just did it, even though it's 1am and the office is totally empty right now. Why???? Idk????

- Same with eye drops.

- Same with perfume. I am obsessed with perfume, I wear it to bed most nights. I sleep alone. So unless im trying to impress my laptop it makes no sense.

- Speaking of sleeping alone, I can not sleep with someone else next to me. Whenever I have sex I just end up lying awake until morning, counting down the minutes until it's acceptable to ask this person to leave or for me to.

- I'm barely exaggerating when I say I live off of pretzel m&ms. Unless I'm eating a meal with people, I am eating m&ms. Counting out the calories and turning the jumbled mess into a little lattice of neat, color coded groups is like taking a Zanax for me.

- I try to keep a normal person schedule but I always end up being this weird nocturnal gremlin, drifting around empty buildings and sidewalks at 3 in the morning.

- All of my friends are over clubbing, but I just love mindless, senseless dancing. I have like 30 promoter numbers in my phone from college and keep 5 inch heels in my office and sometimes I just go clubbing alone, do coke with strangers, don't tell anyone, show up to work the next day a mess.


There's so many more, but I don't want to bore you guys.


I know. I know, no ones "normal". I guess I don't think I'm actually clinically insane, but..... I just feel **so** *fucking weird* sometimes. Plz plz share your weird shit


**EDIT**: omg you guys!! i did not expect to get so many replies, there are so many of us weirdos here <333 I'm at work rn, so i'm gonna reply to these all later, but I just wanted to say this made me feel so understood and less alone, thanks for replying yall :)








[Meme/Humor] #goals
/u/KajaIsForeverAlone [height:5'9 | CW: 147 BMI:21 | weight lost:15 lbs | Gender: F]
Created: Sun Oct 23 22:42:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/592s88/goals/
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https://i.redd.it/ej9ljuseqctx.png

[Rant/Rave] Well
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 105 | 17.68 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 23 22:09:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/592nqs/well/
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Today I got trashed. Saw TPB. Embarrassed my stupid ugly awkward drunk ass on stage. Now I want to die and gorge my fat self with food booze and self hatred. BBQ is the worst to purge. Can I be normal please? If I didn't have to be awake tommorrow I d atleast submerge myself into skyrim and more booze. Kinda wanna die. Kinda gotta be here. Fuck me.

[Tip] This is so cool! Body visualizer
/u/JustaGirl921
Created: Sun Oct 23 22:02:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/592muv/this_is_so_cool_body_visualizer/
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http://bodyvisualizer.com/
Not sure if any of you have seen this coming but I stumbled upon it today.

You put in your height and weight indoor measurements and you can slide them W bigger or smaller and you see an image of what that really looks like on a body. You can even choose gender.

It totally changed my goal weight. Really put into perspective how much I really need to lose. :/

***EDIT***
OK now I found this and I like it more
http://modelmydiet.com/
I'm still disgusting but at least I look human lol


[Discussion] Fast day 2. How many days have you guys fasted?
/u/setniessesed [5'11.5" | CW: 141 GW: 130 | 18.71 | -18lbs | 20/F]
Created: Sun Oct 23 21:38:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/592jbu/fast_day_2_how_many_days_have_you_guys_fasted/
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It's my second day of fasting for this session; I feel alright. How long have you guys gone with fasting? (With nothing of great caloric value; just Powerade zero or gum/coffee)? I've only done it for two days so far; I want to extend it over tomorrow as well now and slowly increase the duration over time.


I'm considering drinking liquids with caloric value after tomorrow.



[Goal] I'm freaking out because the last time I was weighed myself I was 114 and now I'm here and I'm like what?! I feel like it's lying to me
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 23 21:30:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/592i88/im_freaking_out_because_the_last_time_i_was/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/c1784c454d6748cb962316c26e2e0fa9?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=5602fa503825126148fe4d9cccf25dd0

[Rant/Rave] I cannot believe what my bf just said to me.
/u/kafka__dreams
Created: Sun Oct 23 20:47:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/592br8/i_cannot_believe_what_my_bf_just_said_to_me/
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My boyfriend has never EVER said anything negative about my looks in any way. He knows about my eating issues and how I feel about my body. Just now he was complaining he had lost weight unintentionally and stepped on the scale and said, "ah im 148." I said "ahah yea I've been there." (A few years ago I was nearly that high, carried it decently, am now 118) and he fuckin says "wow you were pretty fat." Oh my god. No one has ever said anything that bad to me. He immediately realized he fucked up and apologized so many times saying he never saw me that way and didn't mean it. And I get it honestly, he wasn't trying to hurt me. But oh lord. That hurt.

[Discussion] I'm sorry Halo Top, but i'm not loving these new flavors. Except Cookie Dough. It's Amazing!
/u/CowOffTheFarm [65" | 145 | 24.41 | - | F | GW 120]
Created: Sun Oct 23 20:27:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5928lj/im_sorry_halo_top_but_im_not_loving_these_new/
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So, I just cracked open S'mores. I licked the paper and immediately went "Ugh?!?!" it is overly sweet and reminds me more of honey and cinnamon than smores. The dark chocolate in it is too dark in comparison to the rest of it, in my opinion. Tried the cookies & cream next. It is also kinda overly sweet, and it tastes good... but not like cookies and cream. They both seem artificial. I'm having a weird food time now though, and maybe my tastebuds are off?

However, HOLY CRAP THE COOKIE DOUGH IS HEAVEN SENT! I usually buy my boyfriend "distraction ice-cream" so he doesn't binge on my pricey Halo Top or go crazy with jealously over my treats. Well, the cookie dough is so on point! We put it next to full-fat name brand ice cream and the Halo Top is completely superior.

Flaired as "discussion" because I know many of you also went insane waiting for the new flavors (after they leaked in early October) and i'd love your opinions on them.

[Rant/Rave] Something embarrassing.
/u/Just_a_Paper_Bag [5'8" | F]
Created: Sun Oct 23 19:45:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/592274/something_embarrassing/
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Anyone else listen to boyfriend ASMR boyfriend videos?

I'm married, but my husband doesn't talk to me and I stay because he doesn't bother me about wasting away.

Or drinking. Either I'm drinking or not eating and holy fuck I'm lonely and sometimes I want someone to say nice things to me.

It does good, but sometimes it's nice to be held too.

[Rant/Rave] I need to punch a hole in my belt
/u/Edible_pain [5 foot 6 in| 133 | -over 100lbs| F]
Created: Sun Oct 23 18:53:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/591u3h/i_need_to_punch_a_hole_in_my_belt/
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i've been making better choices with food and it shows. Its been over a month since I have stopped my weekly cheesecake binges (I was eating two 9 inch cheesecakes every monday). Tonight I will be charging my power drill and adding a hole to my leather belt because its now too big.

[Discussion] DAE feel really uncomfortable when "normal" people casually talk about binging?
/u/ifitmakesmehappy [5'5 | 125| -45| F]
Created: Sun Oct 23 18:52:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/591u0n/dae_feel_really_uncomfortable_when_normal_people/
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It makes my skin crawl when people talk about how much they ate, that they stuffed themselves, that they ate "the whole box of cookies," etc. It also just makes me uncomfortable being around people who are clearly eating a lot, not because they are physically hungry, but because the food tastes good.

For example, this past week I was working at a uni event in a booth and we were offering free cupcakes to people. I didn't have any, but everyone else working at the booth seemed to be eating them, or like they had absolutely no self-control around these darn cupcakes.

I kind of shrugged that off as my ED talking, like, maybe this is normal for them? Then one of the girls said "omg, I'm so bad, this is my second cupcake" while the other one admitted she was on her 5th (yes, they're both very overweight).

As someone who struggle(s)(d) with binge-eating, this kind of stuff just puts me off so much. Because it reminds me of me.

Also, overall, I just hate the word "binge." I hate when people say they "binge-watched" a show, all it does is instantly remind me of binge-eating. idk.

I feel like this is how a recovering alcoholic must feel when non-alcoholics talk about how "f*cked up they got last night," etc. Like, to that person it was a fun night, but to the alcoholic that would be falling back into their old habits/vices/personal hell.

Thoughts?

[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo.
/u/BlackGirlSteeze
Created: Sun Oct 23 17:13:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/591dom/daily_thinspo/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/bf50741a9f124f918b82ce4df08ea349?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=ce61ddcef08bfc176b48f266340c3991

[Discussion] What do you do for your anxiety/agitation?
/u/dudeswallow
Created: Sun Oct 23 16:39:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5917uu/what_do_you_do_for_your_anxietyagitation/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5917uu/what_do_you_do_for_your_anxietyagitation/

[Meme/Humor] My whole office is sick
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 23 16:28:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5915vb/my_whole_office_is_sick/
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[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] When my loved ones say, "You haven't eaten much today."
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 120lbs | 20.60 | GW 115 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 23 16:26:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5915od/when_my_loved_ones_say_you_havent_eaten_much_today/
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Yes, I have. At 3am when everyone was sleeping, my impulse control completely imploded and I ate a day's+ worth of food. That is why I feel too sick and too anxious to eat during normal hours when you're awake. That is why I am terrified to put food to my mouth during waking hours - what if I spiral into a binge? I can't trust myself. If I eat at 1pm will I spiral into a 12 hour binge until 1 am? If I eat at 4pm, will I spiral into a night-time binge hell? So I don't eat at all because I'm imprisoned by the fear of chaos. Nope, I can't eat until the sun goes down, and with it, my defenses and will power. Only then, when you can't see me, do I eat "much."

And I'm sorry that my ED took your concern and warped it into nagging. I'm sorry I snapped at you when you only care. My ED warps your intentions and dictates my trigger responses. I wish you could see inside of me, to see that I'm really appreciative of your concern, and I love you, and I'm being imprisoned, and I'm sorry.

Fuck. We live in such a secret world.

[Rant/Rave] I feel like I'm on the verge of a binge.
/u/Wildrumpus273172
Created: Sun Oct 23 16:17:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/59143q/i_feel_like_im_on_the_verge_of_a_binge/
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I didn't eat until about an hour ago but I just devoured half my day's in about half an hour. Hopefully I can get through this and then maybe fast tomorrow!

[Rant/Rave] win some/lose some
/u/salt_skin [5'4" | CW 134lbs | BMI 23.45 | GW 90 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Oct 23 15:59:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5910w2/win_somelose_some/
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i've been down and out about binging all week, but despite it all, i was told that i look like i might blow away in the wind. personally, that's an exaggeration to me, but perhaps i'm losing again? i can't really tell since i no longer have a scale, but it was the first comment i've gotten on my weight loss in awhile and well, it felt good! but on the other hand, i'm still very worried about the possibility of another binge. i really don't want to get stuck in b/p or restrict cycle again and i don't want to start gaining weight back again. i've worked too hard to lose what i have and i'm far from my goal.

[Discussion] Are You Happy?
/u/SkinnyWaifu [H: 5"3 | BMI: fat | WL: -8.8 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 23 15:55:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/591088/are_you_happy/
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I'm obsessed with ED documentaries, forums, etc. I always find that nearly every documented person expresses that they are severely depressed and miserable due to their ED.
Personally, I do have depression/bipolar II, but I don't link it to my ED.
I found that the days that I have lost weight are some of the best days ever.
I love the feeling of being hungry, cold, and especially feeling my bones show.
Though I'm sure the majority of people in this community like those things as well, do you find yourselves unhappy due to your eating disorder?

[Rant/Rave] Welp, I'm currently sitting on the toilet after taking laxatives, while typing up my thesis because I have a deadline tonight... This is my life.
/u/thisthingagain [5'3 | 125.6| 22.76 | 19 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 23 14:55:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/590pbh/welp_im_currently_sitting_on_the_toilet_after/
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And I'm not sure if I find it hilarious or terrible or both.

Probably both.

I'm working on my undergrad thesis, which is due Friday. Of course I'm horribly behind, which is partly my fault, partly my advisors since she added an ENTIRE CHAPTER to my thesis. So I've been writing for for between 6-14 hours/day for 2 weeks straight, most days averaging about 10 hours researching and writing. I am finishing up a chapter today, and will be emailing it to my advisor tonight. I still have another chapter to write, an introduction, and an author's commentary on my short story.

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

Of course I graze-ate for three days, 1500-1800 calories each day. I've gained 5lbs. FIVE. POUNDS. I'd JUST hit 130 and decided to go to town on pizza and Chinese takeout. Shame.

So, thanks to magnesium citrate, now I'm pooping forever and hoping for the best. But I keep having to poop, which keeps messing up my writing flow. So I'm literally camping out, pantsless, in my bathroom. I even brought a little table in here so I can keep my books with me and just sit on the toilet and type away. It's been about 45 minutes and my leg is numb. Partay.

This has to get some sort of purging award, right? Like, this is some intense dedication.

Sigh.

Wish me luck! Time to go find out about the Soviet Union's gender norms and how they differ from Imperial Russian ones... wooooooooo.

<3.

[Rant/Rave] i was doing so well but then i fucked up :( [rant/rave]
/u/leatherhoff [5"3 | TOO MUCH | ftm]
Created: Sun Oct 23 14:31:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/590kuh/i_was_doing_so_well_but_then_i_fucked_up_rantrave/
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i was doing good for once!!!!! not binging!!!!! only had 131 calories for the day and i would have been fine for the rest of the day!!!!!!! but then my mum brings home crisps!!!!!! doritos that she doesnt like!!!!!!!! i dont deserve to eat so i knowwwwwwwwww she was testing me, now that she knows i caved shes gonna know im a horrible monster :( she even told me at one point that i can have some of her crisps too, leaving them in the kitchen where she knows id go for them......... ARgh !!!!!!! i binged!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i felt good for once i was doing well again, finally getting back into restricting!!!! at least i know i can handle it again and ill be good for future, i dont think i should eat at all, the only thing i can eat is the apples left in the fridge cos theyre the only thing that my mum doesnt eat that i do.... im so disappointed. im gonna starve myself/restrict intensely all wweek or longer

[Help] WHAT IS WATER WEIGHT?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 23 14:09:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/590gu3/what_is_water_weight/
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[deleted]

[Other] As if that would stop me fb 😂
/u/Sonnenblumenschein [5'3.5" | 95 lbs | 16.8 | -59 lbs]
Created: Sun Oct 23 14:08:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/590gkf/as_if_that_would_stop_me_fb/
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http://imgur.com/nzyj7sL

[Goal] I fit into my goal dress
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 23 13:27:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5908u2/i_fit_into_my_goal_dress/
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[deleted]

[Goal] Goal clothes advice
/u/dbishop22
Created: Sun Oct 23 13:19:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5907fw/goal_clothes_advice/
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This might be off topic, but it's becoming a kind of pleasant problem. I'm really petite and getting skinny pretty fast. I live in the second most fat city in America. There are almost no shopping options for me anymore, especially for goal clothes. Where do you guys find extra small clothes that might come in petite as well? Shopping in the children's section is ok for casual wear, but I work as an engineer in a medium conservative environment so there's only so many sparkle jeans and unicorn shirts I can get away with. :/

[Help] I just need some kind words right now.
/u/m_inimal
Created: Sun Oct 23 13:18:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/590762/i_just_need_some_kind_words_right_now/
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I haven't 100% come to terms with having an eating problem, and I definitely haven't come to terms with the fact that I look on this subreddit every day, and even post sometimes. It feels like it's someone else doing it, not me; probably because no one in my life knows about it. It's just some weird little vice I have.

So I do feel really odd asking for anyone to reply. But I broke up with my boyfriend the day before yesterday, and I have never felt so lost. I'm on the verge of tears constantly and just feel completely emptied out. It needed to happen, and that's why I did it - I love him, but he wasn't a good partner and we are ill suited to each other, without a doubt. I hope we can be friends, but part of me knows it will be too tempting to slip back into our old ways, especially considering how fragile I know I am right now.

I truly don't feel like there is a healthy way to deal with this kind of pain. I think what most "healthy" people would advise is probably something along the lines of "Take a few days to feel horrible, and then start to piece things back together"; but I know that for me, "taking those few days" would involve lying in bed and eating things I'll feel terrible about later. I'm the type of person who if I indulge in my emotions, I spiral and it starts to feel unmanageable.

This is also the first time I've ever had the urge to hurt myself. I'm definitely not going to do it, because i know people who do and it's scary. I don't want to get accustomed to it. I'm also just inundated with thoughts like "No one would miss me if I was gone", which is hard to take, and reinforced by my belief that my boyfriend is probably doing just fine without me; meanwhile i'm a fucking mess.

So the only way I know how to cope is this weird compromise that is not eating. It's not outright self harm, but it feels like some kind of weird justice or balance. Worthless people shouldn't feel good, and I feel pretty damn worthless right now.

If I had anyone in my life who I could talk to openly about all of this without them panicking or trying to take drastic action, I would. But I don't have my boyfriend anymore, I have no friends, and my family would freak out. So I'm really alone.

Sorry to lay all this out there, I hope it doesn't bum anyone out too much. Writing it down helps me think more clearly about it. And if anyone wants to share their ideas for how I might deal with this, it would be greatly appreciated. <3 Thank you

[Rant/Rave] I Gained 20 Pounds
/u/Shernibop [5'3 | CW 134 | GW 100 | -66]
Created: Sun Oct 23 13:05:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5904no/i_gained_20_pounds/
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I'm so ashamed. I recently gained 20 pounds in just a couple short months due to impulsive binge-eating. I feel disgusting, worthless, and terrible. What happened to me? I lost my control. My power. I feel so out of touch with my self and I feel like I haven't been controlling my own body. I'm done. I'm going to lose weight and gain worth again. I'm going to be ok.

[Help] Can't break the binge
/u/Laricia [5'4" | 108 | -2 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 23 12:58:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5903bq/cant_break_the_binge/
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I've been eating at maintenance all week, always within the last hour of the day and it feels awful. But I just can't stop. And today it happened – the binge to end all binges (hopefully…). I'm too afraid to count but it's definitely exceeded 3000 cal, I tried to purge but I just can't and now my throat is sore and I'm definitely gaining more than water weight from this. I don't have the luxury of time to work out either. It'll be Monday soon and I really hope it can be a fresh start, but right now I really need a good ass whooping. I've been so stressed all week from uni and throwing everything in sight into my mouth, the stress won't change this coming week but the bingeing needs to stop. I'm sorry this is so negative and whiney but I'm so distressed and my stomach hurts. I'd like to just lie in bed for days until all the calories work out but there's a ton of group projects due and my own incompetence can't be a burden on others. Damn.

What should I eat today?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 23 12:32:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58zy9l/what_should_i_eat_today/
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[removed]

[Rant/Rave] I'm having trouble sticking to a routine and it's fucking everything up
/u/lightfeathers [5'4" | CW 112 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 23 10:55:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58zghe/im_having_trouble_sticking_to_a_routine_and_its/
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I'm the kind of person who needs routine to feel motivated enough to stick to anything. And when something happens that isn't in my plan, everything goes downhill. By everything, I mean *everything*.

My sleeping pattern gets fucked? Binge. Binge until it's fixed. You binge for one day? Fuck you. You fucked up so go fuck up even more. You miss one weigh-in or you didn't get to count all your calories? Well, you better throw in the towel cause you've ruined the whole day, you greedy bitch.

Why am I like this 😤

[Rant/Rave] "You're so light!"
/u/Melatoninsky [5'3"| CW:104.4 lbs | GW: 99 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Oct 23 10:51:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58zfqr/youre_so_light/
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Okay ugh I had to tell someone who would *get it* so I hope posting this is okay.
So I teach performing arts to children, who are notoriously blunt in their judgements. Like some of the things I've heard kids say...lol. ("Miss.M you have three rolls on the left and only two on the right" oh :) :) isn't that :) so funny :) kill me pls.)

Anyway yesterday I was teaching a group and at the end of class a couple of my students hug me to say bye. One of my girls (11 yrs old, about my height but 90lbs) hugs me and then suddenly PICKS ME UP. OFF THE GROUND. I was like (internally panicking) "oh, [child] let's not do that, you could hurt yourself." And she puts me down and goes "pffft you're so light!" And says bye and skips out of class. .......

Guys I don't even know how to feel. Like a kid picked me up? A 90lb kid? Why do I still feel like a land whale?? Don't I look like one? And then "you're so light"? Like part of me is wondering does she sense it somewhere in her little 11 yr old brain that I'm struggling with all this ED shit? Did I DO something to make it obvious? I'm *so* careful about it around the kids, because the last thing I want to do is accidentally fuck them up for life. Especially in the dance world like, I don't want to be *that* teacher who prefers the skinny kids and makes everyone else feel like shit. I never talk about body shape or weight or size or anything. I never tell them how I'm feeling about myself (I mean it would be super unprofessional anyway). There's no way, right? No way some 11 yr old can just... sense all this... right?

And still part of me is like. Holy shit. Light enough to be lifted by a child. Huh. There's a goal I never would've thought of. (Cause it's fucking weird. And dw I did have a chat with her about it being inappropriate to pick up a teacher.)

Ok. End rant.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 23, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Oct 23 10:02:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58z72u/daily_food_diary_october_23_2016/
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This is a daily food diary thread for October 23, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Other] Today's deficit
/u/Elope
Created: Sun Oct 23 09:51:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58z51a/todays_deficit/
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I binged yesterday. Big time. Don't care to even estimate the damage. Obviously, I told myself today would be better. Obviously, I've already gone off the rails.
When this shit happens I always think to myself, if I don't eat anything for the rest of the day, I'd still have a deficit. I never manage it.

I want to do it today. I want to wake up tomorrow with the comfort of progress. So I guess I'm making this post to be accountable to someone. If I succeed I'll update it at the end of the day.

If not I suppose the wheel just keeps turning.

Edit: I did it.

[Goal] Perfect day
/u/electille [5'7 | 123 | 19.2 | ?]
Created: Sun Oct 23 09:39:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58z34y/perfect_day/
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Fasting, late wake-up, free coffee and Pepsi Max, 3hrs of walking, and collecting money for charity...

Dizzy af rn but i am so happy 😍

[Goal] Not much but I'm happy about it!
/u/wanskie [5'5 | cw: 135 | bmi: 22.5 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 23 09:20:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58yzvc/not_much_but_im_happy_about_it/
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http://imgur.com/kYtjFf3

[Goal] Weekend update :))))
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 23 09:01:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58ywxd/weekend_update/
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[deleted]

[Goal] Almost 3 weeks binge free!
/u/bitsybones [5'2 | 140 | 25.6 | 137 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 23 08:55:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58yw1u/almost_3_weeks_binge_free/
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I'm on mobile, so I can't flair.

If I get through today without bingeing, I'll have gone three weeks without a binge, which is the longest I've gone since last year.

I hope to go all of October without a binge. :)

Thank you, green tea and coffee for keeping my appetite suppressed!

[Rant/Rave] bipolarity, binges and drugs.
/u/Lady_Anarchy [169cm | CW: 53kg | GW: 50kg | BMI: 18.56 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 23 08:53:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58yvm4/bipolarity_binges_and_drugs/
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Two weeks ago I posted about how happy I was about my successes in starting to feel better about my body. Since then I've taken something of a 180 turn.

I've been alternating between extreme highs and extreme lows (being bipolar). I've stopped sleeping. I've started increasing doses of all substances I take. And that's been making me hungry. And I've started to eat a lot. Like binge-lot. Like gaining 1.5kg in two weeks lot.

I've also started making excuses for myself. But I still hate myself. And I can't stop. I don't know where to turn, and nothing motivates me anymore to try anything. So there goes the positivity.

[Intro] New name, New stat, New start :\
/u/P0Pkornsoup
Created: Sun Oct 23 08:51:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58yvbz/new_name_new_stat_new_start/
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Welp, I've been fuggin up. I'm at college and have let alcohol and drunk snacking ruin all my summer progress. I don't even know what I weigh anymore, I'll have to go to the school gym and find out *shudder*


So this is me starting fresh. A classmate told me last night he could tell I've gained weight from drinking this past month. That did it. I feel gross.


Last night I drank half a bottle of tequila and ate 2 family sized bags of popcorn before going to bed, all while planning my calorie restriction for this new week. Not eating isn't even going to be the hardest part, not drinking is :( if I can't drink, how will I get fucked up lol?


Anyhoo, nice to meet you again, I'll post stats when I know them. My old username and stats are no longer relevant. Sigh.

[Help] How did I gain 3 pounds in 2 days??
/u/pinotblanc [5'3 | GW:115 | 23.2 | -23 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 23 08:32:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58ysei/how_did_i_gain_3_pounds_in_2_days/
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My friend came in to town on Thursday. I had 3 drinks of low calorie orange juice with tequila and we went out to eat Mexican food. Okay I will admit, not the best day - but I had fasted most days last week and immediately went back to a 500 calorie restriction on Friday and Saturday, drinking green tea and watching what I ate. I also weighed myself on Friday and did not gain or lose any weight.

This morning I weighed myself and gained 3 pounds since Friday. How?? I'm sure *some* is water weight but I doubt 3 pounds of it is.

This is so discouraging. I feel like I'm not allowed to have any fun or else I'll blow up like a balloon. I thought 1 "cheat day" in a month should be fine but instead I gained 3 pounds. 😣

[Rant/Rave] I suck
/u/MhmStephany [5'3" | 179.6 lbs | 32.69 | -10 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Oct 23 07:55:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58yn7l/i_suck/
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I binged two days in a row. TWO. And I've only dropped 10 lbs total. This is so discouraging. I want to punish myself today by fasting but my grandparents invited me for dinner tonight and it's pasta which is a huge triggering food for me. I keep telling myself I HAVE to stay strong if I want to be thin. I can do this. Please send encouraging words. ❤

[Rant/Rave] One good weekend to get on track and I feel like everything is better.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | 145.8 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 23 07:33:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58yk9x/one_good_weekend_to_get_on_track_and_i_feel_like/
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I usually work Fridays and Saturdays, but was given a unique 3 day weekend. I told myself this is the perfect time to get back in track. Friday and Saturday I only ate clementines and some mentos. And coffee.

Yesterday I walked around the city for 8 hours. I had my wallet with my and could have bought food at any moment. On the train ride home, I was tempted to go to the store and get vodka. Mind you, I don't drink. Last time I was drunk was exactly 2 years ago and I was very suicidal. I talked myself out of getting black out drink at home because I knew I'd buy shitty food to eat as well. Instead I went home, ate a few clementines, and took myself to a Mozart performance. Much better choice.

Today I slept in and woke up to a much flatter stomach. TMI, but I haven't pooped in days and am hoping a kilo of clementines will help. Knowing I'll be lighter after helps. I've only had coffee today and it's 3:30pm. It's Sunday and no grocery stores are open so I can't buy anything.

I have to remember how much fasting or even restricting helps my anxiety. I'm working from 9-9 tomorrow and Tuesday. I'll have to est in front of people. But I won't overeat. Bare minimum. Then I'm free from work for another week. So much progress can be made.

I know my posts are always long and rambling, but you guys understand. I need to get back down to at least 135 again and life will be better. I'm not throwing my life to shit so that I can start over with the new year. I will be ahead of schedule. I always seem to start the year around 135. It's like my own personal version of hell where I have to repeat it until I get it right.

I also found a doctor here and am getting prescribed Wellbutrin again hopefully. My life fell apart 2 Octobers ago. If I can get through, all will be well.

Thyroxine and weightloss
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 23 06:42:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58ydz2/thyroxine_and_weightloss/
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[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Binging and fasting cycle for the last four years (MFP weight tracking since Feb 2012)
/u/skinnypod [5'6" | 121 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 23 06:38:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58ydib/binging_and_fasting_cycle_for_the_last_four_years/
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http://imgur.com/s6VI3rV

[Help] Those with SOs who know about your disorder, how far into the relationship did you tell them?
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 57.5 | GW ?? | 19.21/18.99 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 23 05:03:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58y3wm/those_with_sos_who_know_about_your_disorder_how/
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Unnecessary background, feel free to skip if you just want to answer the question in the title.

I have this FWB who I've been with since last December, when this really started to take hold. He's seen my from my HW to my LW with all the fluctuations in between. I've brought up the possibility of a relationship in April but he says he's not a big fan of the "girlfriend" label. Still, we see each other about once a week, usually with some Netflix with our chill (we're both big fans of horror films, and we're currently making our way through Archer).

So last night he came over and I had my laptop open because I had been watching Netflix while browsing reddit (including here). He grabbed my laptop to see what I had been watching and he mentions that my reddit was open (he knows what reddit is and that I spend a lot of time here though he doesn't really browse it himself). I made an over the top reaction to take my laptop back, and he asks if I have any dirty little secrets on there. I said it's just personal stuff.

"Like what kind of personal stuff?"

Guys, I was so close to telling him about this, my issues with food, how I waver between out of control eating and eating nothing at all, but I ended up just saying if I told him it wouldn't be a secret.

I mean, he's not my boyfriend but we've been together for so long it's so tempting. And I've brought up things I would like to fix about myself (like my inability to not interrupt people if we're talking about something I'm excited about), and he's really good about pointing out when I'm doing it and reminding me that it's something I wanted to work on. Plus he's really into lifting weights so we've talked about nutrition and stuff many times.

I so badly want to tell him about this stupid disorder. I want to be able to text him when I'm about to binge so he can tell me not to, but it's not his responsibility to fix me. And I'm worried that he'll force me to eat when I don't want to.

It's so hard for me to be vulnerable with people and ask for help (that's why it took 6 months to even have the relationship talk). And I'm scared he'll say that this is too much for our non-relationship and he'll bail.

Fuck guys, I don't know what to do...

[Other] 'Perhaps we shall learn, as we pass through this age, that the 'other self' is more powerful than the physical self we see when we look into a mirror.' Take strength from your other self to make today a positive day moving towards loving your physical self beauties 💕🎀🌸
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 23 02:46:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58xrxq/perhaps_we_shall_learn_as_we_pass_through_this/
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[deleted]

This could so be me 😂
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 23 02:07:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58xoqu/this_could_so_be_me/
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http://smallwrites.com/interesting/item/44-man-takes-on-2kg-burger-challenge

[Rant/Rave] In-laws left a bunch of food at our place
/u/scandinaviandreams [6'0" | 131 | 17.93 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 23 02:02:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58xoao/inlaws_left_a_bunch_of_food_at_our_place/
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Had my in-laws visit for the weekend, which was nice. (unfortunately I was working for most part) But when I returned home... So much food left in the fridge! 1/2 grilled chicken, 1/2 pecan pie, a whole garlic baguette, and an unopened soda bottle (non diet)


Why, whyyyyyy. Why couldn't you just take the food with you, or eat it? Thankfully I got my husbands permission to throw it all out. So crisis averted!

[Discussion] What do you watch?
/u/RainyDayDaydream [5'6 | ?? | ?? | ?? | Lady]
Created: Sun Oct 23 02:02:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58xo9g/what_do_you_watch/
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Hello everyone!


I shoud be studying, but I love to watch YouTube and documentries in my spare time. I often end up watching things relating to food & eating disorders, of course.

So I thought I would ask you all for some suggestions for any YouTube videos/users or documentries/series that relate to those topics!

[Rant/Rave] How many times have you guys had to Chang accounts?
/u/NoiDontWannaTalk [6'0 | 142 | 19.2 | Lost: 15lbs| Male]
Created: Sun Oct 23 01:47:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58xmza/how_many_times_have_you_guys_had_to_chang_accounts/
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I'm so fucking sick of having to cover my tracks just because I want to be skinny. It's so fucking unfair, why can't people mind their own fucking business?!? I just dropped to 135.4, the lowest I've been in forever, so why do I need to be paranoid that people will find out? I mean I get it, I'm 6 feet tall, it's not subtle that I'm so thin, but just let me be thin, you know?

Fuck me man, I wish I cared enough about myself to want to recover.

[Thinspo] 5'7 at 114
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 23 00:17:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58xena/57_at_114/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/4fa744a3264242018028339b388ba929?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=02ece9c27884f24a1db185d27092e0fc

[Thinspo] who is considered/used as thinspo but you disagree?
/u/Wordsalad_
Created: Sat Oct 22 22:54:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58x4u3/who_is_consideredused_as_thinspo_but_you_disagree/
---
Can't flair; mobile

[Rant/Rave] Just found out my room mate has been eating my food.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 22 20:51:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58wot4/just_found_out_my_room_mate_has_been_eating_my/
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[deleted]

Have y'all ever said anything to a friend that almost gave away your ED?
/u/IAMABaguetteAMA [5'6" | 106 lbs | 17.0 | 11 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Oct 22 20:28:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58wlj4/have_yall_ever_said_anything_to_a_friend_that/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58wlj4/have_yall_ever_said_anything_to_a_friend_that/

[Tip] How to avoid colon cancer! Be careful lovelies
/u/rukittenmerightnow
Created: Sat Oct 22 19:05:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58w9zz/how_to_avoid_colon_cancer_be_careful_lovelies/
---
Guys I just watched an episode of Super Size vs. Super Skinny as thinspo and one of the anorexic girls was showed a photo of someone with colon cancer. There was a large, inoperable tumor blocking the bowel area and it shook me up quite a bit. Apparently, people with EDs are at greater risk if you don't make sure you're getting enough fiber! Be careful you guys I just wanted to put this out here because I care about you all so much.

Love you guys x

[Rant/Rave] [rant] On the verge of crying
/u/EatMyInsides [156cm | CW:48.6kg | 0BMI: 21.00 | Weight Lost: 0.8]
Created: Sat Oct 22 18:43:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58w6q2/rant_on_the_verge_of_crying/
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I'm currently at a friend's house, in bed amd on the verge of crying because I had to eat "normally". I have no idea how many calories I ate today.

I'm sorry about this little rant. I just had to get it pit of my system.

[Goal] NSV: I don't have a thigh gap but...
/u/GingerrWithASoul [5'6 | 124 | 20.09 | -24 | Female]
Created: Sat Oct 22 18:19:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58w3b9/nsv_i_dont_have_a_thigh_gap_but/
---
Today I was sitting on my steps having a cigarette and I placed my phone on my lap. Normally that's not a problem but today my phone fell through the gap in my thighs! I didn't even think there'd be enough room for that to happen! So this feels like progress and I'm feeling super excited and really need share this small victory with people who understand my excitement!

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉


Side note: I'm also glad I have a good case on my phone or this victory could've easily been terrible lol

[Goal] NSV: I don't have a thigh gap yet but...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 22 18:14:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58w2gl/nsv_i_dont_have_a_thigh_gap_yet_but/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] I can feel my hipbones
/u/ED2134 [168cm | fat | female| -10kg]
Created: Sat Oct 22 18:14:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58w2fq/i_can_feel_my_hipbones/
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I lost 10 kg=22 lbs!
I still don't see any difference.. but I'm obese so it will take a while to show. BUT I can feel my hipbones again.. long way to go till I can see them, but at least I can feel them.

[Rant/Rave] Rant about nothing
/u/kickkkasss [5'5 | CW:134 | GW:110 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 22 18:09:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58w1p9/rant_about_nothing/
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Okay so feel free to ignore this I just wanna get stuff out of my head. Everything sucks. I recently had my relationship end. Im so lonely I just want to curl up in bed all day and cry. My heart hurts. Because I'm lonely I have days where I eat and eat and it makes me hate myself so so much. I used to talk to my bf about my feelings about food and he'd try his best to make me feel okay and now he's gone and I have no one.

[Other] Accountability
/u/setniessesed [5'11.5" | CW: 141 GW: 130 | 18.71 | -18lbs | 20/F]
Created: Sat Oct 22 17:50:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58vypn/accountability/
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I want to try and fast for a couple days (wanna do it as long as I can go really); just feel awful and bloated and hate myself. Wanted to make maybe a daily post for its duration to keep myself accountable. Equipped with lots of tea, coffee, cigs and brokaid. I suck at it unfortunately, so I need all the help I can get. Also have this lovely sub to keep me going <3 (:


Loving seeing the art that's been posted here recently as well, I'd like to join in a bit too ;p I just made this very relevant ink drawing for inktober: http://imgur.com/xDaDVw0

[Thinspo] Sweet dreams are made of Thinspo...
/u/notworthausername [5'7" | 129 | 20.1 | -10 | 26F]
Created: Sat Oct 22 17:46:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58vy0a/sweet_dreams_are_made_of_thinspo/
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http://imgur.com/a/1nAM2

[Help] What do you do when it's to cold?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 22 17:33:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58vw2r/what_do_you_do_when_its_to_cold/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] I didn't binge! :)
/u/notworthausername [5'7" | 129 | 20.1 | -10 | 26F]
Created: Sat Oct 22 17:29:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58vvgl/i_didnt_binge/
---
I was craving Pad Thai, so bad. It's 5PM here, and I'd eaten 250 cals so far with cereal and a string cheese. INSTEAD OF GOING TO CARB HELL, I MADE SOMETHING! And now I won't binge because I'm not going to feel guilty that I'm eating shit and therefore won't say "Oh well, since I'm already fucked may as well make it royally."


It made three servings, too at only 330 cals!

1 12.5oz canned chicken

1 can black beans

1 single serving Target garlic-cauliflower package thing

3 egg whites

Pearl onion

S&P, and chili powder

and SALSA!


8g fiber and 32g protein :')


How's your intake been today?


Edit: I've taken 20 minutes so far to eat it and I still have some left to go, with a giant glass of water.


[Rant/Rave] Being Healthy
/u/K_iwi
Created: Sat Oct 22 15:53:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58vg1c/being_healthy/
---
I kind of really hate when people on here say stuff like "reach your goal but be healthy about it!"

This isnt a weight loss sub. This is an eating disorder sub. Theres nothing healthy about eating disorders. They (or mine at least) are destructive and nowhere near healthy. If i could 'be healthy' about it I would be in a fucking heartbeat. Its less about meeting my goal and more about proving to myself and everybody else that I have the strength and discipline to reach my goal. I want to restrict and exercise obsessively without people telling me to worry about protein or aspartme (???).

This isnt just this sub- I see it on other 'pro ed' sites too. Its such a stupid thing to get angry about, but I do and I just had to rant about it. Im tired of people telling me to be healthy about my fucking *eating disorder*.

[Tip] Halo top on sale at ralphs
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Sat Oct 22 15:48:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58vf8e/halo_top_on_sale_at_ralphs/
---
I got 2 flavors. Woohooo. Just... thought I'd share.

Maybe this will help curb my binging. What're your favorites? I got vanilla and lemon cause they had the lowest cal.

Mobile so can't flare

[Rant/Rave] Nothing quite like going to a party and seeing a guy you slept with turn up with a tiny french girl :)))
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 22 14:50:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58v5em/nothing_quite_like_going_to_a_party_and_seeing_a/
---
[deleted]

Pro Ana Kik Group Open!
/u/syntheticseasalt
Created: Sat Oct 22 14:14:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58uzan/pro_ana_kik_group_open/
---
Hi kids, a few friends and i are looking for new members for our kik group.
We have a few rules (16+, stay on topic in the chat, etc) but everyone in the chat is quite friendly and we would love a few new members. Kik me @ syntheticseasalt and we'll chat so i can eventually add you!
💓

[Help] Buying a scale after not having one for months ....scared
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 22 14:01:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58ux0l/buying_a_scale_after_not_having_one_for_months/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] it feels so weird
/u/hereyesarethesky [5'6" | 128.2 | 20.78 | -27]
Created: Sat Oct 22 13:47:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58uujb/it_feels_so_weird/
---
I started out at 156-160 pounds, my BMI was considered overweight, and I hated myself and how I looked all the time.

Started losing weight, was feeling better about my body as I continued to drop pounds. I have lost 20 pounds in 4-5 months.

I've been at a plateau (136-138 lbs) for two or three weeks now, and it's my fault because I've been very messy with my eating but I'm thankful I haven't gained back into the 140s.

i feel weird because i was feeling really confident in my body while losing weight and now that ive been stuck at this weight for a little bit.. i can see my measurements are smaller than before but nothing really changed? im just a scaled down version of 156 lb me. my stomach still has the pouch thing that's always there and i have to suck it in, my arms are still fat looking even though they've technically gotten smaller, and even though there is definitely a gap starting to form in my legs i can still push them together. im the exact same just a different number and i with probably be the same until i hit below 125.

tldr; I just feel like a scaled down version of fatter me and wanted to vent about it

[Thinspo] Daily thinspo
/u/BlackGirlSteeze
Created: Sat Oct 22 13:47:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58uui4/daily_thinspo/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/ddc0d7b6ceb94d76ab1a714a2f3299d2?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=ac1038ccd54a40ec7c8fef2dfc09f7f4

[Goal] from 195 to 160 in 3 months.
/u/Sighgal
Created: Sat Oct 22 13:46:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58uuba/from_195_to_160_in_3_months/
---
🌟🌟

[Rant/Rave] At least I logged the binge...
/u/EmpireStateBitch [5'4" | CW 120 | GW 115 | UGW 100 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 22 13:30:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58urib/at_least_i_logged_the_binge/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/0611290e90cd4738bdee8554a85797a1?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=8c29efbaea5b73918852a66e407c63f6

[Rant/Rave] Just venting so I don't eat!
/u/ThroeAwaymeron [5'2" | 104.4 | 19.78 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 22 13:05:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58un3t/just_venting_so_i_dont_eat/
---
Just gotta get this out of my head since I can't say it anywhere else!

I live in a house broken up into apartments, and my bedroom is right off the kitchen. In some ways this is awesome. It's towards the back of the house, so it's quiet, it's a big room, it's easy to sneak in and out of grabbing a bite to eat without feeling embarrassed because someone can see what I'm eating (this one can be really good or really bad, of course).

My roommates don't normally cook much but today one of them is making something that smells amaaaaaaazing and it's drifting in here and it's killing me! I actually ate way too much yesterday so I don't know why my stupid body thinks it's so hungry right now. On top of that, I have my dinner planned out for later (prelogging cals is king) and I know I'll need the oven he's using, so I'll be eating later than usual.

I'm thinking of going out for a little while so I'm not breathing in good smells, but I did *just* tell him that I'm staying in doing classwork all day since it's rainy, lol...maybe a walk to the convenience store for diet soda (am I a stereotype or what)...

[Help] "Controlled" cheat days
/u/morose_adipose [5'2 | 90 lbs | 17.05 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 22 13:02:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58umib/controlled_cheat_days/
---
I'm trying something today, to try to head off any binge urges.

I restrict all week, around 500 calories or lower and I eat a ketogenic diet. I've lost over 100 lbs doing this, but lately, basically since dropping to "underweight" binging has become a thing. Pretty much only on the weekends. The cravings for something sweet become so powerful I can't think or do anything else until I quell them. Which, as soon as I eat even the smallest sweet, I get drowned in shame and sorrow until I feel so horrible I eat everything in sight. I tell myself I've ruined everything and then I shame eat all weekend. Mondays I start over, do well all week and then repeat the horrors of the previous weekend.

Well, I decided to take a different approach this weekend and "allow" myself a controlled cheat day. I've set a calorie limit (2,000) to maintain a semblance of control, but anything I want and can fit in there I'm going to allow. For one day. So far so good. I'm at about 1,300 for the day but I have consumed like ten days worth of carbs, and that is making me anxious. So, maybe not so far, so good? I'm trying to keep the "well, you've fucked up everything anyways may as well eat that gallon of ice cream and 17 bags of Skittles" voice away.

Don't really know where I'm going with this. Guess I hope someone can tell me it's okay, I haven't ruined everything. Maybe if there is anyone here that is knowledgeable about the keto diet, they can tell me falling off the wagon once in a while isn't the end of the world just because I've kicked myself out of ketosis.

Would love to hear about how everyone else incorporates cheat days and if they help you resist binging.

TL;DR: I ate oreos and my "I'm fine, everything is fine" facade is starting to crack. Halp.

[Thinspo] Have a Skinny Saturday :)
/u/The_Marshmallow_Test [5'5 | CW:dont weigh :3| GW:skinny arms| F]
Created: Sat Oct 22 12:57:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58ulmf/have_a_skinny_saturday/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/77465cebcb0949ebab0191d81633a218?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=e5ed5338b80b6d5acf85a37dc6c0b2ad

[Other] I love waking up after a night of restricting + drinking
/u/cinamintoast [5'7" | 184 | 28.72 | -86lb | F]
Created: Sat Oct 22 12:53:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58ukux/i_love_waking_up_after_a_night_of_restricting/
---
I know it's mostly just due to dehydration but I always lose like 3 pounds after a night of drinking as long as I don't eat anything. It usually goes back up by the following day but seeing a number that low really motivates me.

[Intro] I've lurked here for months, it's time I admit why.
/u/-kaneki-ken- [5'7" | CW 129 | GW 120 | 20.2 | 22F]
Created: Sat Oct 22 12:13:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58uds3/ive_lurked_here_for_months_its_time_i_admit_why/
---
Hello, ProEd. I finally made a throwaway to use on this subreddit. I've been browsing this thread since I found it in June, reading every single post, quietly handing out upvotes. I'm posting today because I believe it's time to admit that both my eating and thought patterns are (or at least seem, to me) disordered. It's gonna be a novel, and you don't have to read it. I guess I'm using this as a platform to put words to this weird cycle. Thank you all for providing a safe community where this is okay.
So here's a quick intro: Without giving you the whole sob story, I have a history of self harm (9 years of cutting and counting), have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, and have been hospitalized for a suicide attempt within the last 5 years. Some of this has, in retrospect, probably made me susceptible to disordered eating patterns, especially the self-harm "guilt and punishment" thought dynamic. Anyway.

In May when I graduated college I weighed 156 lbs. Four pounds from real-life, overweight BMI. I bought a scale, started running, and used MFP to stick to a strict 1200 calorie diet. My initial goal was to get back down to my high school weight of 138. Running three miles a day on top of my deficit, I achieved this goal by late July, but by then my mindset had changed completely.

After seeing the first 10 pounds go, I knew I never wanted to stop. I couldn't look at food the same. I woke up to the fatlogic I was surrounded by, the obesity epidemic and laziness and lack of self control that are destroying my country. I liked feeling superior, feeling like I had real control, that I was getting skinnier (and therefore less like my fellow bovine Americans) every day. More than that, I liked feeling like I consumed less, needed less, and was more efficient than my consumerist culture's average joe. It was about aesthetics, sure, and to some degree it still is, but more than that it's about discipline. I will not be deluded by fatlogic, by the "treat yo self", HAES, Fat Acceptace culture we're cultivating while most of the world starves. I will not be your "fat American".

So, anyway. I reset my goals: weight of less than 130, for the first time since 8th grade. By August, I made it to 127/128. But, of course, it isn't enough (or, stated otherwise, it's still too much).
This is where the disordered pattern kicks in. Recently my lifestyle has changed dramatically. During the initial weight loss I was living with my long-term boyfriend, whose careful watch kept me from doing anything too extreme. Well, we broke up, I moved two states away to a place with mountains and actual scenery, and went from a jobless and sedentary lifestyle (other than my daily run) to working a full-time physical labor job and hiking/biking/skating whenever I had free daylight. Cue the sudden binges...
For the first two weeks, I was "in maintenance", trying not to panic about no longer losing, but in reality I was losing my mind over suddenly being so hungry and eating whatever, whenever. At night, after having three full meals already, I would come home to my empty apartment and mindlessly scarf down 3000 calories in 30 minutes, eating a half a loaf of bread, two pints of ice cream, staring mindlessly into space and thinking "This hurts, I want to stop, I'm so full", all the while ripping open more packaging, swallowing without chewing, completely and mentally vacant while my hands shoved food in my face. It was literally nauseating and absolutely terrifying.

Of course, after a binge like that, the guilt was unbearable. I don't purge for fear of fucking up my teeth and throat, so instead I restrict. Each binge is paid for by five consecutive sub-1000 calorie days. It has to be, or else I'm going to gain all that weight back. This, of course, sets me up to be so hungry I can't stand it, and then, when no one is looking, I sit in front of my fridge like a zombie eating double decker veggie burgers and literally sobbing.

Anyway. I think I'm painting a picture you'll all recognize. By the end of the first two weeks of this new lifestyle the scale said 133, and I cried in front of the mirror. Restrict, restrict, consume less, work harder.

Today I woke up at 129, but it isn't good enough. I'm back to 1200 cals a day, and so far no crazy binges this week. I know it isn't restriction like some of you are capable of, but I'm so scared of going back to that animalistic binge-zone where I physically can't stop myself from eating serving after serving of food I don't even want. I'm not buying food to keep in my apartment anymore. Too tempting.

Next I'm aiming for under 120, which would put my BMI under 20. Maybe then my waist will look proportional to my arms and legs. As of now, a few things are really bothering me. One, my scale has become inaccurate. Lately it's been reading 123, 125, when I know that's a fucking lie. I'm 129 at the very least, if not closer to 131. Just typing that hurts. Seeing any number beginning with 13X makes me tear up, when just six months ago that was my big-time goal. Secondly, I work as a prep cook, and we throw away massive amounts of food every day. My binge-brain cannot stand it. I save donuts, biscuits, cinnamon rolls.. I track it all, but I've usually consumed around 1000 cals by noon every day.
This has turned into a rant. I have so much to say to you people that I've been saving up for months. Thanks again for letting me join in the discussion. I hope I've followed all the rules, and I hope you all have a great day. Let's all make ourselves better today.

[Help] What scale do you use?
/u/RetailSlaveNo1 [5'2 | CW 164.8 | GW 95 | 31.22]
Created: Sat Oct 22 11:54:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58ua9r/what_scale_do_you_use/
---
I've been wanting to upgrade my scale to an accurate, not crappy one. What one do you use?

Bathroom scale

[Tip] Beware Being Cold!
/u/HiccupKitten [5'4" I 110.8 I 19.0 I -5 lbs I F]
Created: Sat Oct 22 11:47:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58u95c/beware_being_cold/
---
Just a note of a thing I'd noticed -
I'll often have urges to eat when my body is cold, and be less motivated to do tasks too, often without noticing my body is cold...it just becomes "HEY EAT SO YOU CAN FOCUS AGAIN".

I've just put on 2 hoodies and sweatpants over my leggings, and can focus again / don't want to eat. :)

So like, just a reminder! Hot hot drinks, stay bundled, especially for those of us who have winter approaching!

[Meme/Humor] me irl
/u/vomitdogs [5'1 | 107 lbs | 20.1 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 22 11:35:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58u6zr/me_irl/
---
http://i.imgur.com/uY6EjkK.gif

[Other] i am so surprised that i don't gain weight from the extra calories from the amount of gum i chew every single day.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 22 10:52:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58tzaa/i_am_so_surprised_that_i_dont_gain_weight_from/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58tzaa/i_am_so_surprised_that_i_dont_gain_weight_from/

[Help] How to eat at maintenance without overeating/gain?
/u/yummmies [5'4" | 120 | -45 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 22 10:19:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58ttks/how_to_eat_at_maintenance_without_overeatinggain/
---
Looking for advice on how to eat at maintenance for a short/medium amount of time without overeating. I need to take some time to attempt to fix my newly developed, life ruining insomnia, and I just can't afford to restrict. The biggest issue is that I am so exhausted all the time that I can't bring myself to care about anything, and I would just eat mindlessly or overeat without realizing it, or worse, I do realize it and I don't care until later. Any ideas?

edit: Also, does anyone who has depression wanna chime in on the insomnia? All my googling skills has told me that maybe I'm starting to develop depression and anxiety, but it might be due to my sleeping issues which could result from depression and anxiety? I'm really not understanding this.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 22, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Oct 22 10:02:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58tqi1/daily_food_diary_october_22_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 22, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Rant/Rave] Under 120 finally!!
/u/frailraven [5'10 | CW 117 | LW 115 | F20]
Created: Sat Oct 22 09:52:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58toqb/under_120_finally/
---
http://i.imgur.com/qOIf6D8.jpg

[Help] lanugo
/u/clamshells [5'7 | 115 | 18.0 | f]
Created: Sat Oct 22 09:36:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58tmbu/lanugo/
---
those of you who have developed lanugo, where/when did you first notice it?

i can't tell if i'm looking more closely at my face than usual, or if i'm actually getting fine, short hairs on the upper half of my forehead. like, down to half an inch above my eyebrows. does this sound like lanugo to anyone -- is it limited to the arms or can it appear on the face? if so, how do i fix it? i'm pretty horrified right now :(

[Rant/Rave] "She was tiny when I married her"
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 22 09:25:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58tkph/she_was_tiny_when_i_married_her/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Living with family: how do you do it?
/u/woollyshirt [5'7.7 | 116.4lbs | 17.69 | -77.6lbs | M/NB]
Created: Sat Oct 22 09:24:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58tkli/living_with_family_how_do_you_do_it/
---
I'm 19, moving out soon, and have lived independently before, as well as having gone to boarding school and been in foster care so I'm certainly used to taking care of myself, but I find my family situation regarding food a little unusual so I'm curious if this is an ED thing or a dysfunctional family/dysfunctional me thing.

I cook entirely for myself. I don't eat food that my parents prepare and they don't eat mine. It helps that they love creamy cheesy meat dishes and I like salads and lentils and avoiding animal products where I can, but now I don't even sit down and eat with them unless it's someone's birthday.

My family have a 'family dinner' prepared by my stepmum every night and I've already eaten and gone back upstairs at that point. It's not unusual for her to take control and make a cooked breakfast and pack a lunch for my dad and sibling(s) either, depending on who's here, but I don't even factor into that now... effectively I feel like a lodger in my own home, and no one questions it. Family grocery shopping frequently involves me walking to the supermarket with my dad's card, buying what I want (and anything they need) and him giving me a lift home.

This really can't be normal, can it? Is anyone else's home situation like this?

[Discussion] Who makes all these thinspo pics?
/u/Sonnenblumenschein [5'3.5" | 95 lbs | 16.8 | -59 lbs]
Created: Sat Oct 22 08:25:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58tc8s/who_makes_all_these_thinspo_pics/
---
I mean like, there are tons of them, who made all of those, why are they made, is there a market for this, who are the models, how did they become thinspo models, etc? So many questions, it's so weird when you think about it.

I WANNA KNOW

[Rant/Rave] My self control is gone when he's around
/u/bookofbluesysaturday [5'7 | 141 | GW:115 | -31 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 22 07:28:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58t4jg/my_self_control_is_gone_when_hes_around/
---
So my fiance came into town yesterday. I fasted 3/5 days during the week to prepare, trying to get into the 130s before he got here, but it didn't work out. Whatever. So he gets here and we get burritos. I can manage. I tell myself that's it for me for the day. We go to waffle house with friends, I resist. I feel strong and happy.

We go out to the mall, and I decide that I NEED a cookie, like right that exact moment. He wants a brownie, then two because they have a new flavor, and then we end up with 4 because they were having a buy-3-get-1 deal and I make terrible decisions. So I eat two cookies and half a brownie, putting me at roughly 1700 for the day. I feel like shit from all the sugar, we decide we need something to settle our stomachs. We get Chinese. We split an already low cal entree, but I still shouldn't have eaten anything at all.

I ate the remaining two brownies as soon as I woke up this morning. I hate myself. I don't always let go like this when we're together, but I never do when I'm alone. I want to fast the whole upcoming week but I already have a few food events planned that I can't cancel. Maybe I'll just only eat then.

[Help] Runners! Questions - help?
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 123 GW 119 |19.20 | -32lbs | F]
Created: Sat Oct 22 07:13:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58t2l0/runners_questions_help/
---
Hey so it's been suggested to me that as I can't afford a gym I should start running. I don't know much about running.

Is there a good app I can get?
How much should I aim for first time?
How many days a week do I need to do it?
What areas (if any) will this help to tone?

Anything else you think might help me.

Thanks lovelies
Also mobile can't flair

Weekend plans?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 22 07:04:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58t1c7/weekend_plans/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Peanut sauce!!
/u/DenyMyHunger [5'7"| Fat! | UGW:112| F]
Created: Sat Oct 22 06:47:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58syzk/peanut_sauce/
---
I really want to make peanut sauce but all the recipes are either calorie bombs or need loads of ingredients! Does anyone have a recipe that's peanut butter, soy sauce and maybe just 1 or 2 other ingredients? I'm making it with shiritaki noodles so it doesn't have to be super low cal, just reasonable! Thanks lovelies!

[Discussion] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! October 22, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Oct 22 06:02:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58stlz/stupid_questions_saturday_october_22_2016/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for October 22, 2016.

Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

*****

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Rant/Rave] I'm not even restricting, and all I can think about is my next meal.
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 127.4 | 18.5/18.8 | -19.6 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 22 05:49:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58ss7t/im_not_even_restricting_and_all_i_can_think_about/
---
I have BED, and to manage it I eat around 1700 calories a day. My TDEE is around 2000. I have two meals a day, both around the evening. This works best for me. But like, I find it hard to do anything before I eat because I feel no motivation to do anything except eat. But then I feel too tired to do anything after I eat and often just end up sleeping. I freaking hate this. Ugh. Idek.

[Goal] I'm feeling firmer again and my running pants are falling down.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [Adipose Industries]
Created: Sat Oct 22 03:43:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58sfva/im_feeling_firmer_again_and_my_running_pants_are/
---
I'm now about a month after my out of control binge-fest (which lasted a month or just over itself), and back to restricting.

I'm not weighing myself for a few months because I know it will only serve to freak me out, but I really think I am feeling firmer.

I will never look totally firm and tight, with all the loose skin, but I am feeling hard muscle again underneath the flabby, soft skin covering my body instead of just feeling too-many layers of squidgy fat. Still too much fat there though.. but less.

And my running pants. They were too big before the binge fest, but fit after it. I ran in them today, and was pulling them up every few metres. Thankfully, I still have smaller pairs to run in.

I'm pleased with this feeling, as I figured with my cheats on Sundays my TDEE evened out at maintenance. Still, I low carb/fast all week and my Sunday cheats are carbs (so *hopefully* some go to restoring glycogen rather than fat storage, which I then *hopefully* lose quickly after with activity and fasting), and I don't factor in my exercise or strength training (and therefore possible muscle gain) into TDEE or anything. Plus I do have a habit of logging an overestimation of calories, to protect against *under* estimating..

I'm happy to trust the saggy pants for now, and keep trying to do better at restricting, and losing this horrible, horrible flab.

[Rant/Rave] I doubt the Guinness Book of World Records would care...
/u/insigniania [5'7 | CW: 112 | 17.5 | F |]
Created: Sat Oct 22 03:20:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58sdsm/i_doubt_the_guinness_book_of_world_records_would/
---
But I am pretty sure I hold the world record for having the largest thigh circumference while being underweight and having a thigh gap (actual full leg gap). Stupid fucking wide hips. Stupid fucking weird body. \drunkrant




[Rant/Rave] Sudden three days of binges - a recap
/u/MommyTemple [5'9 | SW: 171 | CW: 146 | -25 | NB]
Created: Sat Oct 22 00:38:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58ryu4/sudden_three_days_of_binges_a_recap/
---
I have so much to talk about it's almost unheard of...

On Wednesday, everything was going well as usual. I got home from uni, ate my planned dinner, but I didn't feel satisfied like I should have. My sweet tooth acted up, so I decided to have another bowl of breakfast and exercise it off/skip supper. Unfortunately, it all went downhill pretty fast. Soon, I was in the kitchen, going through anything I could find that was allowed on the elimination diet plan. Next, I was on my way to the store to get more snacks, then I finally made it to the library, followed by another visit to the market. I ate a few items simultaneously, alternating between sweet and savory cause that's what my brain kept telling me.

Thursday went down similar road: I was doing okay until I got back home and stuffed in as much snacks as possible before I packed my actual dinner and other stuff for my night at SO's place. There, I had my dinner on top of the goddamn snacks, then I lost my mind completely and I said yes to whiskey and diet coke, and then wine later. Messy.

Yesterday, I just went full crazy. I returned home around 1 PM, after visiting the store, and it was nothing but food from there. Huge dinner, then big bowl of popcorn, jelly sweets, chocolate made with dates, coconut oil and cocoa, nut mix, all of the gluten-free bread I could find with tofu, any fruit that caught my eye. It went on for hours, almost non-stop. At one point, I felt very lightheaded, and I thought "yep, that's it, beetus is out to get me now". My stomach was bursting.

I tried to identify what the actual fuck happened. I went from literally the most disciplined I've ever been to a total unstable mess in a matter of hours. I know my triggers more or less and none of them made a cameo lately, so I can't blame anything 100%. Life's been really ok, even too good at times. Could that be it? My brain went bananas because it's not used to genuine good times? I wouldn't be surprised.

All that's left is to learn something from this: food, no matter how tasty at first, is not worth the bloat, pain, gases, diarrhea and ultimately weight gain. Sorry for being so blunt, but yeah. TMI GROSS you should see my toilet. It's absurd how filthy it is now thanks to being forced to visit too often. Even my mom asked me wtf have I been flushing to make it like this. Yeah, I also flushed a pretty disgusting beet salad I couldn't stomach that also didn't fit into my daily calories limits, but it's mostly the diarrhea. I estimate I gained a pound of fat, which I will lose, but it shouldn't have happened in the first place. But what I suffered through just for a short lived taste and high? Nope, don't wanna do that again. Especially now that I know what it feels like to get through a day without ANY digestive issues. For Christ's sake, I'm this close to losing whole 20 pounds. 20!!! I can't remember the last time I did that. I can lose another 20 easily if I just keep up the discipline. I can do it by the end of this year. I WILL do it.

Other than that, thanks to very honest talks with SO that happened all through this whole week, I feel motivated like never before. Not just to lose weight, but to live, really live, not just exist. For the first time, I have a future and goals that I know I can achieve, and I even know how. I know what to do, what work I have to do, and nothing, no one can change that or distract me. It's amazing. It's also fascinating how my restricting goes hand in hand with real productivity and positivity while binging is the total opposite.

Right now, I'm focusing on the next thing to do so that I won't scare myself with the bigger picture. Today, I have to wash my hair. Clean my room. Throw out the food I couldn't finish yesterday. Go normal grocery shopping. Plan out the upcoming week. Take it day after day, step after step.

If you made it here, thank you so much for reading. This place is my sanctuary honestly. My favourite subreddit ever. I love you all people. Maybe this will help someone not binge today? I hope so. Stay lovely xo

TL;DR I start bingeing out of the blue for three days, mess up my progress, my insides and my toilet, but get out of it with newfound motivation

[Other] That moment when the only thing keeping you from getting up and having a massive binge is the cat sleeping between your legs
/u/KajaIsForeverAlone [height:5'9 | CW: 147 BMI:21 | weight lost:15 lbs | Gender: F]
Created: Fri Oct 21 23:57:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58rugc/that_moment_when_the_only_thing_keeping_you_from/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/09da54db38f24dbbb4bb17aa5b808d0a?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=1ff9162b5bf46f0b07d6b51951f3068d

[Thinspo] Album of my daily thinspo. ♥‿♥
/u/wanskie [5'5 | cw: 135 | bmi: 22.5 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 21 23:09:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58rp6w/album_of_my_daily_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/VCsSj

[Rant/Rave] I hate it when people make you eat even when you're not hungry
/u/KajaIsForeverAlone [height:5'9 | CW: 147 BMI:21 | weight lost:15 lbs | Gender: F]
Created: Fri Oct 21 22:34:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58rkuy/i_hate_it_when_people_make_you_eat_even_when/
---
It's so stupid. Like i asked if I could go to the gym earlier, but my mom said no and everyone decided to go out for dinner. They were like "what do you want to order" and I was like "I'm not hungry" which was the truth. But they insisted I eat and my mom was like "you need to eat, go eat some cheese, you need protein"
Anyone else know what I mean?

[Other] Creepy guy on sub?
/u/witchy2628
Created: Fri Oct 21 22:00:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58rgev/creepy_guy_on_sub/
---
Is anyone else getting creepy messages from a guy referencing your Ana posts, and asking for pics? Can we ban him? Is that a thing?

[Rant/Rave] Recovered and gained a shitton
/u/CutTheCakee [5'6" | 133 lbs | 21.6 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 21 21:58:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58rg9a/recovered_and_gained_a_shitton/
---
I'm supposed to be "healthy" but I honestly feel as bad now as I did when I purged daily. Sinking back into restriction again

[Thinspo] My thinspo - Edie Sedgwick
/u/Comeheredia
Created: Fri Oct 21 20:56:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58r803/my_thinspo_edie_sedgwick/
---
http://imgur.com/a/0S9ZV

[Discussion] Lies I tell myself
/u/Alexa1p [5'5'' | 110 | 18 | -10.7 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 21 20:10:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58r1i8/lies_i_tell_myself/
---

"Being thinner will make him love me more."

"I'm not that fat, I deserve [insert highly caloric, delicious food]."

"Go ahead and eat even though it isn't noon yet, you can make up for it by eating less later."

Anyone else?

[Rant/Rave] I binged twice today. Second dinner.
/u/neuro-fuzzy [5'6.3| CW: 115 ☹ | BMI: ??? | LW 98 | GW 108 | 20F]
Created: Fri Oct 21 19:56:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58qzfr/i_binged_twice_today_second_dinner/
---
http://imgur.com/a64S7R3

[Intro] first post. not my first rodeo. fuck, i've let mself go
/u/HUMANDlSASTER [5'9 | sw: 155 | cw: 149 | gw: 105 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 21 19:52:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58qyx7/first_post_not_my_first_rodeo_fuck_ive_let_mself/
---
hi

been struggling with an eating disorder since 2012. since then two of my good friends have been diagnosed with anorexia. one was hospitalised and the other is so thin i'm amazed she's still at university.

my lowest weight is 130 which is currently 19lb away. i need to stopdrinking. i try to log everything but i keep telling myself "oh, tomorrow you won't eat" and then i wake up and eat. it's disgusting. i repulse myself. covered in cellulite and flab,, i can grab handfuls of my stomach because i'm so huge. genuinely amazed i don't fucking burst out of my clothes.

i am going home for Christmas around 15th December. before then i want to be 130lb. i know it's still gross etc but it might make me feel a little better. i've been at uni for a term now and only lost 6lb bc i keep binging - i live alone all my friends threw me out. i've got no excuses any more.

:( i don't know how i've got this huge. and every time i get down to about 142 and then binge again?! why am i so fucking weak. i used to be so strong. i've been losing and gaining the same 10-15lb for years now. i've been making the same posts on mpa for years.

its time. aiming for 800 cals a day - i know it's a lot but then hopefully i won't binge. might try to go sober for as long as possible nd see how much weight i lose

[Rant/Rave] I feel like I don't know what's real or not anymore
/u/tallskinnywannabe8
Created: Fri Oct 21 19:51:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58qyrn/i_feel_like_i_dont_know_whats_real_or_not_anymore/
---
I feel like everyone hates me and that I'm a burden. But then I think that it might all be in my head and I'm fine. I've wound myself into so many circles that I feel like I don't know what's what. Does anybody else ever feel this way?

[Discussion] what do ya'll drink?
/u/get-it_together [5'3 |160??| UGW 125 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 21 19:47:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58qy82/what_do_yall_drink/
---
I live on coke zero, powerade zero, vitamin water zero, coffee, etc, but what else do ya'll usually drink? I want to switch it up. I just got some cranberry sprite zero that I'm too excited to try which is really sad lmfao

[Thinspo] Makeup Thinspo.
/u/BlackGirlSteeze
Created: Fri Oct 21 18:59:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58qr46/makeup_thinspo/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/945be8eb2dda4a54932bd6dbd6c6aacc?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=12a2e8dc4b0f4ba139c275e1cf36775d

[Thinspo] Makeup Thinspo.
/u/BlackGirlSteeze
Created: Fri Oct 21 18:59:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58qr1t/makeup_thinspo/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/9369f802796948809a3e62d0b8870f91?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=89eda2be320a2d4475c901a85590fd69

[Thinspo] Makeup Thinspo.
/u/BlackGirlSteeze
Created: Fri Oct 21 18:58:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58qqwd/makeup_thinspo/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/0b6e6b91cba5456d9a37b10ca1c1f07b?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=5fadd570f90223841629e5d3ac8ce42e

[Thinspo] Makeup thinspo.
/u/BlackGirlSteeze
Created: Fri Oct 21 18:57:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58qqtq/makeup_thinspo/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/3bae1ef97de94797b15b9605cdfba82a?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=aa04b48c6f46c53562ee4982019e75f7

[Thinspo] Daily thinspo. I left for a few weeks. Did anyone notice?
/u/BlackGirlSteeze
Created: Fri Oct 21 18:51:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58qpus/daily_thinspo_i_left_for_a_few_weeks_did_anyone/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/b121320280994d158cbba69dedb10180?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=ee4d60c0ee7adb17f69c16ecaaf7d102

[Discussion] Life is a mystery, everyone must stand alone. I hear you call my name. And it feels like home.
/u/unseenunloved
Created: Fri Oct 21 18:19:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58qkxa/life_is_a_mystery_everyone_must_stand_alone_i/
---
Just purged hard until it hurt for the first time in I can't remember how long. And I don't care, or feel guilty, or feel scared. I'd forgotten the lovely feeling of losing all control to this. Takes all the worry away. Makes the pain beautiful again.

Tagged as discussion because I would appreciate hearing your stories of relapse.

[Rant/Rave] When people ask what you have plan for over Fall Break
/u/toastyhigh [5'4 | 105.6| F]
Created: Fri Oct 21 18:03:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58qia5/when_people_ask_what_you_have_plan_for_over_fall/
---
The girl that lives in the room next to me is (im 99% sure) leaving for break~ meaning I have the bathroom we share allllll to myself to purge as much as I want....

[Rant/Rave] OMFG I did it!!
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Fri Oct 21 17:41:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58qekn/omfg_i_did_it/
---
This may not mean much to anyone but I had to share. I've had the shittiest of shit weeks. Today I honestly felt like the universe was playing a sick joke on me. Literally every Friday for the past year or probably more I have compulsively bought nuts and C&Sed for hours. Today...I wanted nothing more than to go home, no urge to C&S, didn't even freaking care, just wanted to sit in a corner and cry about how the world ruined my day and get home to my dogs so they could brighten the day. Instead...I went shopping as I usually do. I walked in to store #1...lines at every register down the aisles. You know what? F this! I feel like crap and am not standing in this line to waste money on food that I don't even want to be C&Sing. Store #2...I grab items I actually need, I load up with nuts and pause. I was on the phone with my mom and she always reminds me when I mention nuts "they make your stomach hurt, remember, no more nuts" (she doesn't know about the C&S but nuts do make my stomach hurt). You know what mom? You're right. I put them back. I paused, I picked a bag back up, put them back, left with the items I actually needed, if pumpkin spice granola is a need :) I honestly am that exhausted and am exhausted with work and life and people and maybe honestly I'm exhausted with this dumb weekly habit and despite having a shit day, perhaps it was a blessing in disguise to break this pattern. I thought I'd get home and be worried about "missing" it but honestly I felt relief in the car. I no longer have to rush home to cook dinner so I can spend 4 hours C&Sing and attempt to get sleep. I can go home, play with the dogs, enjoy cooking dinner, watch TV and enjoy a Friday night for the first time in longer than I can remember. I truly hope this is a turning point for me. I've ranted about this struggle before on this sub and I feel alone knowing that no one else can really understand what it feels like to finally have a breakthrough like this except for the people here so felt the need to share. I hope everyone is having a good weekend and this place seriously is a great support (despite the constant controversy about the utility of this subredddit). It sounds silly but honestly I've looked forward to making this post.

Day 4 of urine fasting
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 21 17:37:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58qe0s/day_4_of_urine_fasting/
---
http://i.imgur.com/DAjej53

Well the rest of my life might be shit, but my scale and measuring tape are telling me good things
/u/onlyroom_forthin [5'6 | CW:149.6 | 24.24 | SW:165 | UGW:120 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 21 17:02:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58q83w/well_the_rest_of_my_life_might_be_shit_but_my/
---
I posted in the middle of the night about my boyfriend problems. We are not talking. I'm really mad at him. He resents me for a variety of things. It's just generally really great and I feel like we are probably going to break up.

On the OTHER hand, I've been consistently weighing in at 149.5-150 for a couple days, so I feel like I officially made that goal :D I was frustrated about not being significantly below 150, but I realized I hadn't done any measurements this month so I just did. I dropped TWO inches on my waist, and about one each on my hips and bust (in 4-6ish weeks, can't remember exactly when I measured last). So that made me feel good, and now I don't feel so guilty about my plans for tonight. Pizza is a huge binge food for me, but I'm having long distance movie night with a friend from back home and I want to actually enjoy it, so I might order a small thin crust pizza and get drunk and not feel too bad about it. Probably going to try to fast tomorrow or Sunday too.

[Help] Kik group?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 21 16:38:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58q3tp/kik_group/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Substitutes for oil?
/u/procoyo [5'6" | 190lb | GW:140lb | -5lb | F]
Created: Fri Oct 21 16:21:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58q0r2/substitutes_for_oil/
---
I just made some delicious zucchini chips. I baked them in the oven, and they came out amazing. But I can't eat them all, because I had to use olive oil to allow them to fry up right. My calorie count would be so much lower if I didn't use that oil...

Do y'all have any advice for substituting oil in baking chips/crisps?

[Goal] My new plan
/u/zomboooo [5'7|115|18.1|-2|NB]
Created: Fri Oct 21 16:21:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58q0qw/my_new_plan/
---
So I usually do 600 calories a day but I think Friday-Sunday I'm gonna go up to 800 calories. And also once every other week I go out with my dad to dinner and dessert. I really hope that with this plan I can continue loosing weight but also not feel the urge to binge as often

Thoughts or support are welcome!!

[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Mom is intentionally sabotaging me
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 21 15:41:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58ptjw/rant_mom_is_intentionally_sabotaging_me/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] I wish he'd understand that I'm also trying to be prettier for him
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 21 15:04:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58pmo4/i_wish_hed_understand_that_im_also_trying_to_be/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] I miss being the hot one (Dirty little secrets)
/u/miss_morticia [5'10" | cw: 146 | gw: 105 | 20.90 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 21 13:33:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58p513/i_miss_being_the_hot_one_dirty_little_secrets/
---
Ugh, so I am going to show a nasty piece of myself, but I have to get this out. Share your petty, vain thoughts and give me hope that I'm not the only person this horrible.


My husband started getting seriously into strength training and running about 6 months ago and all of a sudden he went from being adorable to HOT. I love it but it freaks me out too. This sounds so shitty to say but when we got married all his friends would tease that I was out of his league aesthetically and that petty, vain part of me loved it. I was the hot wife and it was great, my ego needed that.


Now he is objectively hotter than me and I'm freaking out. I'm continuing to encourage him because I see how much his self-confidence has improved and I want him to be proud of himself more than I want to feel like the pretty one. But I feel like an unattractive wench. So I'm working on the weight, but all I can see is the flaws I can't fix right now like my thin lips and huge nose.

We were at Target the other day and these two teen girls were giggling and blushing, kept looking over at him. He's clueless but it scared me. He's aging better than me and I have to step up my game.

[Other] Self thinspo?
/u/procoyo [5'6" | 190lb | GW:140lb | -5lb | F]
Created: Fri Oct 21 13:31:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58p4nw/self_thinspo/
---
This might be weird, but I find a lot of comfort in what I looked like many years ago. In 2011, I was at 140lbs, my lowest weight. I went looking for old photos of myself in my gmail and was amazed at what I used to look like. I definitely didn't appreciate it at the time. And this morning, I stumbled across a photo of me from 2014. I don't know how much I weighed, probably 150lbs, and it was like staring into a dream. I still own the clothes I was wearing in the photos, although I definitely couldn't wear them now. It just makes me so hopeful. Even moreso, I know I can do better this time.

[Rant/Rave] Frustrated
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105 | GW: 99 | 18.0 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 21 12:55:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58oxil/frustrated/
---
I've been eating between 500 and 700 calories per day, but my scale weight isn't going down and for some reason is higher than it was last week. I have no idea what I'm doing wrong or why I'm not losing. Does anyone have any ideas on how to start losing again?

[Rant/Rave] If I'm not back to 115 by Monday morning, I'm fasting until I am
/u/c_marier [5'6"| 113.4| 18.3 | -13 | 22F]
Created: Fri Oct 21 12:49:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58oweh/if_im_not_back_to_115_by_monday_morning_im/
---
So I've been floating just under 115 for the last month or two and just can't budge. My period was seven days late and I thought that finally I had lost it and was super excited but NO it came crashing back through and ruined everything and then I ate at my parents' last night and had too much soup and my little brother teasingly called me a cow and I felt so fat in all of the mirrors and then I weighed myself this morning and I'm 118.0 FREAKING POUNDS and I know I'm on my period and bloated from liquids last night but SERIOUSLY 115.0 is the highest weight I'm slightly okay with and any higher IS NOT ACCEPTABLE.

So far today I've had a small bowl of noodles for lunch. I have an event with my bf right after work, so will have no chance to grab food and can lie about having eaten and hopefully won't get snacks (I can plead having an upset stomach from my period). Hopefully will fast until Saturday evening when I have a celebration for a friend (allow myself 1 drink and 1 ceremonial bite of cake) and then Sunday I will watch the football game at my parents' but I should be able to avoid food and just drink coffee.

I hatehatehate this. I just want to be normal, but when I try not to freak out about food and weight and the way my thighs look, I just postpone the freakout for later when I step on the scale and regret my entire life. Why do I have to be like this? I want to recover but I couldn't live with myself being any fatter than I am right now. I just want not to hate myself and my body and everything I eat :( But of course that's too much to ask. Whyyyyy

[Tip] PSA: Target has a printable $2 off Bronkaid coupon.
/u/KillingKylie [5'5| Meh|-38|F|GW: 97]
Created: Fri Oct 21 12:20:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58oqqv/psa_target_has_a_printable_2_off_bronkaid_coupon/
---
That is all. 😄

[Discussion] How do you come back from a binge?
/u/runningboyruns [5'9 | 130lbs | BMI: 19.2 | WEIGHT LOST: unmeasured | FtM (pre T)]
Created: Fri Oct 21 12:00:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58omtn/how_do_you_come_back_from_a_binge/
---
The day or hours after bingeing are typically torturous. I always beat myself up, push my body to the max with an intense workout, sometimes i try to purge it (which never really works for me). I've never found a way to be stable and feel okay after bingeing; who knows if that's even possible for me...

I wanted to know what some of your guy's methods are for bouncing back from a binge. What do you do to get yourself back on track?

What i currently do is fast for the rest of the day, do as many push ups/squats/sit ups as i can manage, and then go for an intense bike ride. But even after all that i never go to bed at night satisfied with the day's progress :(

[Discussion] Bored organs? Borgans?
/u/LittlestBear [5'7 | CW: 145bs | GW: 100lbs |F]
Created: Fri Oct 21 11:39:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58oims/bored_organs_borgans/
---
Full disclosure, I smoked a bit today...

Since Tuesday (following my horrible bender stupid weekend), I've had about 60 calories per day, 30 of those from the Flintstones vitamins I eat. I'm just sitting here wondering like, what are my intestines even DOING right now? Just chilling and absorbing water and coffee? My blood is always pumping so my heart is always working, I'm always breathing so my lungs are working, etc, but wtf does my digestive system do if there is nothing to digest? I feel like I'm going into ketosis or something because my head hurts and I feel like general garbage and my mouth tastes funny, but I am just imagining my guts just like, twiddling their thumbs waiting for something to happen lol

[Goal] Scale victory and TMI
/u/Wildrumpus273172
Created: Fri Oct 21 11:35:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58ohxa/scale_victory_and_tmi/
---
I've lost more than a pound since yesterday morning!

But I know it's not entirely fat...

Does anyone else get excited after a big BM cause you know you'll be lighter in the morning? 😂

(On mobile, no flair)

[Tip] Little MFP tip
/u/ahh_idk [5'4'' | will update | F]
Created: Fri Oct 21 11:19:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58oere/little_mfp_tip/
---
Sorry if this is already known information but I just thought I'd share anyway:

If you prefer to see how many calories you've actually consumed in the day rather than seeing what you have left, you can go onto myfitnesspal.com, go to goals, and set your calories to zero. It will not allow you to do this on your mobile app, it only works if you change it on a desktop on the actual website.

Maybe I'm just weird but I love how your consumed cals are in red so its almost like consuming more calories is a punishment.... lol. But it's especially helpful if you're restricting to lower numbers than MFP allows you to set your calorie goal to :)

http://imgur.com/a/2GxvS

[Rant/Rave] I can't stop eating
/u/ne_ne_ne
Created: Fri Oct 21 11:17:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58oeae/i_cant_stop_eating/
---
This is basically just a rant from a lurker who has had disordered eating for way too long if not full blown binge eating disorder.

I'm 5 pounds higher than the weight I got to last year that made me cry for 3 days straight, and somehow managed to get me into a mindset where I ate 900 cals a day till I lost 20 pounds.

This past year has been awful. I've been diagnosed Bipolar II and now I'm starting to worry that every time I've lost weight in the past has been during a hypomanic episode. Now that I'm medicated, those episodes are gone, but not the exhaustion or binging.

I've talked about meds with my doctor, but this combo works for the main symptoms I'm feeling, so my current psychiatrist doesn't want to mess with them just to deal with eating issues, especially given I've had food problems since I was young. So I get to just keep getting fatter and fatter unless I can just reign in my bullshit and actually have self control.

I feel fat, and broken, and worthless, and stupid. Why can't I just be normal? I don't even want to be thin. I just don't want to have uncontrollable urges to eat 4000 calories every time I'm sad or angry.

It's really pathetic that not always being sad and not constantly shoving food in my face are things I need to aspire for. When I was younger I always hoped I'd be something great, not this.....

[Discussion] Count-Up App?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 21 11:01:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58ob7m/countup_app/
---
[deleted]

[Other] Reddit simultaneously testing and motivating me
/u/TummyRumblz [5'8" | CW:162.8| LW: 146 | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 21 10:56:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58oa26/reddit_simultaneously_testing_and_motivating_me/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/96511bb7cd454f89808f0b092d914665?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=6bfa2fc2ffec3360655e40b76970aa30

[Goal] After my 48 hour binge-athon I made a weigh in chart from now till New Years! 💕🐳 morning weight and evening weight. No more binges. I will look pretty!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 21 10:46:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58o86m/after_my_48_hour_bingeathon_i_made_a_weigh_in/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/732231d6730043228cbdd19c460f0650?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=95a90922de499ee5cfafeff12d6e5c24

[Rant/Rave] Look what I found at the coop!
/u/cestvraiduh
Created: Fri Oct 21 10:31:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58o5h0/look_what_i_found_at_the_coop/
---
http://imgur.com/a/ykwqA

[Help] DAE run while restricting?
/u/I_Like_Stingrays [5'5" | CW:128.8 | GW:120 | -29 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 21 10:19:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58o38v/dae_run_while_restricting/
---
This got pretty long, but if anyone else here is a runner do you have any tips for making it through your runs? I'm not talking feeling faint, but that sore muscle feeling.

I can usually run fine on Sundays-Tuesdays, but by Wednesday it's a struggle to even run a mile because my muscles just feel so weak. I'm trying to shave some time off my PR to prequalify for a race on Thanksgiving. The qualification is the Saturday before.

I typically restrict/fast during the week and try to eat normally over the weekend. I would rather just restrict but there's always social events and drinking going on plus my husband is there for every meal and it helps keep him from getting suspicious. I think that's why it's so much easier at the beginning of the week.

This past week I tried to increase my protein and calories to 800-1000 and it didn't seem to work. I ran ~5 miles on Monday and made my goal time, but could barely make it 2.5 miles last night. I went home and ate to 1250 calories for the day (ugh) and tried again this morning but had to stop and walk multiple times over my 3 mile run.

I don't feel like I have anywhere else to ask this where I can be honest about not wanting to increase my calories but still wanting to run...am I going to have to choose? I feel like my goal weight and goal time are conflicting with each other and I'm not going to succeed at either and this sucks :( I'm also regretting this because I'll have to eat leading up to Thanksgiving instead of fasting.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 21, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Oct 21 10:03:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58nzw2/daily_food_diary_october_21_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 21, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Discussion] Low weight: How to stay warm?
/u/1s0b3ll [175 cm | 57 kg | 18.6 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 21 09:55:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58nyei/low_weight_how_to_stay_warm/
---
The search returned some threads, like [staying warm outside](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/542lnq/lets_talk_fall/) or [staying warm in school](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49u8ap/how_do_you_stay_warm_in_school/), but none too helpful. If there's any substantial thread I've missed, please let me know. However:

It's barely fall. I'm at home, wearing two pairs of socks, three layers on the upper body and I'm wrapped in a fleece blanket. And yet, I'm freezing. Often the cold creeps into every fiber of my body and I'm chilled to the marrow, shivering, shivering, shivering, and only hot showers and layers of blankets help with that. No matter how many cloths I'm wearing, I'm always cold. My toes hurt from the cold. Nothing seems to help for long. All heat dissipates in no time. Fingers wrapped around a hot cup of tea just make the shivering worse, given the greater temperature difference. I'm at a loss.

How do you deal with the cold? How do you stay warm in your everyday life? How do you stay warm at home? How do you deal with the lack of insulating body mass and body heat?

[Help] First Fast, hour 53
/u/thinandblonde [5"5.5 | 110 | 18.1 | GW:108 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 21 09:49:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58nx8e/first_fast_hour_53/
---
Hi guys,

I've posted before about how I never fast, because it makes me all kinds of woozy. There is always a first, and in my case, accidental fast.

On Tuesday, I got a flu shot - no biggie, I get one every year. After the shot, the nurse said "Oh, loads of people have a bad reaction to this". WTF?? I was two airplane rides away from home.

Wednesday morning, I thought something was wrong with my scrambled eggs - maybe I just wasn't hungry? By lunchtime, I was starting to feel really, really cold. Then nauseous. Left for the airport at 2pm. Then BAM! Sick as a dog on the flight, major chills, every bone hurt, and I felt like a hurl was imminent (and I was sitting next to my boss, who - bless him - got loads of blankets and wrapped me up.

I got to the hub and had to get a few terminals away for my next flight. I could barely walk, and had to drag luggage. Finally dragged myself home, at which point I though I would die. Flopped onto the bed and slept for 12 hours.

Yesterday I was so sick I only managed to crawl to the couch, where I sipped at ginger ale and tea and slept most of the day and all night.

Today I'm much better - and lighter! and am re hydrating with vitamin water zero. I had a 10 calorie jello cup.

Since I never fast, I'm not sure what to do? How do I re-introduce food? Do I wait until I'm hungry?

Also, part of me just wants to keep going, I'm not light headed (although having a mello day at home). Advice, please?

[Rant/Rave] [rant] Restricting and cigarettes
/u/Water-coffee-tea [5'9.75" | CW:115.6 lbs. | BMI:16.32 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 21 09:32:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58ntsj/rant_restricting_and_cigarettes/
---
Why? Why does restricting trigger my cravings for cigarettes?!? It's so frustrating!

I'm coming up on two and a half years since I quit (with only a couple late night drunken lapses) and I wish I could be past these horrible cravings.

I hate smoking. I hate what it does to my skin, my teeth, my health in general. I've been doing so well without smoking for so long, but now I find that restricting my calories makes me want to smoke again. Maybe because I smoked so heavily for so long I'll always have this weakness.

Sorry, just had to rant. I'm throwing out the last two cigs in the house today that my husband kept for emergencies. (He quit around the same time as me, but he was never as serious a smoker as I was.)

I won't even tell you how old they were. Yuck.

I'm just trying to stay healthy, you know?

[Meme/Humor] here's a picture that helps me avoid binges. especially on oreos.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 21 09:25:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58nshx/heres_a_picture_that_helps_me_avoid_binges/
---
http://imgur.com/BjP686h

[Rant/Rave] It's 10am and I've already eaten half my calories of the day.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 21 09:13:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58nq6v/its_10am_and_ive_already_eaten_half_my_calories/
---
[deleted]

Fasting accountability post
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 21 08:09:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58ne92/fasting_accountability_post/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] BEST FUCKING COMPLIMENT TODAY!!
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 57.5 | GW ?? | 19.21/18.99 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 21 07:26:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58n6yn/best_fucking_compliment_today/
---
Today I'm fasting to make up for yesterday. I'm on campus in the student room I hang out in, trying to get work done but really we're just goofing off. So we're taking a smoke break outside, and since it's raining (as always) we were standing underneath the shelter where you put your bikes, which is just above head height (for me).

So we started talking about how tall we all were and I said I was 173 cm. The guy I have a crush on asked if I could be a model then. I said I was just barely too short, not to mention no where near skinny enough.

"What ever, you're skinny as hell."

Cue me trying to hold in the biggest fucking smile of my life. I brushed it off, saying that models are even skinnier and he made the point that they're sick. I said I would rather be not a model and not sick than a model and have to be like that.

lol if only he knew. Being a model would be great because then I could get money for this stupid illness in addition to the shame and frustration.

But that comment is going to carry me for the rest of the day.

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! October 21, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Oct 21 06:03:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58mtym/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for October 21, 2016.

Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, inspiration behind your OOTD (trying to look thin or cover up weightloss, etc.)!

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

*****

Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Rant/Rave] Oh god, fuck oreos
/u/theraindropsx46 [165 cm | 60kg | GW: 45kg | M]
Created: Fri Oct 21 06:02:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58mtsp/oh_god_fuck_oreos/
---
I consumed 8500 kj of oreos, which led to me eating a whole bunch of other stuff to counteract the sweetness, just fuck me up the arse I want to die

[Rant/Rave] I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack
/u/little-paws
Created: Fri Oct 21 04:36:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58mjm1/i_feel_like_im_going_to_have_a_panic_attack/
---
I ate too much yesterday, drank too much wine. Overall still under my TDEE but that doesn't make me feel better.

I'm meeting friends today and I just feel anxious about having to make excuses for eating and I look so fat in everything I wanted to wear and ugh.

[Help] Go away, skin
/u/morose_adipose [5'2 | 90 lbs | 17.05 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 21 04:30:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58mivo/go_away_skin/
---
I've lost about 100 lbs, and I lost it relatively quick. As a result, I have god awful loose skin that is driving me nuts. Mainly on my stomach, the other areas seem to be tightening up. Part of the stomach issue may also be that I've had a major surgery (a huge uterine tumor/hysterectomy) and from what I've read, once those muscles have been cut, it's hard to get them back to normal...if possible at all. So not only do I have the loose skin issue, but no matter how many crunches and stuff I do, I still have a stomach bulge made of flimsy muscle and loose skin.

I've been taking collagen supplements, using bio oil and Skintight firming lotion on the area, exfoliating the area, and trying to stay plenty hydrated in an effort to firm things up, but it's still my biggest problem area and it's making me sad. I've lost so much weight and still can't wear a bathing suit or cute tops. :(

Does anyone have any tips as to how I can firm things up more? Surgery to have the skin removed isn't really an option at the moment.

Also, I'm old lol. So I mean, things don't bounce back the way they did when I was in my 20's. Sob.

[Help] Fasting help request
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 21 03:21:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58mbta/fasting_help_request/
---
[removed]

[Tip] Need to lose 20 lbs (hopefully more) in 4-6 weeks. Any tips?
/u/Illinoishay
Created: Fri Oct 21 03:10:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58marm/need_to_lose_20_lbs_hopefully_more_in_46_weeks/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] Ate almost 3000 calories yesterday
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 57.5 | GW ?? | 19.21/18.99 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 21 02:51:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58m8vo/ate_almost_3000_calories_yesterday/
---
Guess who's living off coffee and cigarettes today. 💩

[Other] ED Twitter usernames
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 21 02:36:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58m7hz/ed_twitter_usernames/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] Today's body check (5'2" ???lbs.)
/u/SebastianofSiena [160cm | 106lbs | 19.30 | 0lbs | FtM]
Created: Fri Oct 21 02:27:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58m6of/todays_body_check_52_lbs/
---
http://i.imgur.com/rpmzDlo.jpg

[Discussion] Who else here uses Peach (the app)?
/u/yellowlettuce [5'9" | CW:152 GW:125 | -83lbs ]
Created: Fri Oct 21 02:06:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58m4op/who_else_here_uses_peach_the_app/
---
I saw someone else's post about the app so i downloaded it and made an account!
Add me! my user on it is psychiatry :)

[Help] Broth goes right through me :(
/u/Bubbline
Created: Fri Oct 21 02:02:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58m4cd/broth_goes_right_through_me/
---
Hi, it's me with the mysterious gastrointestinal illness again. Basically I haven't been able to keep any food down the past couple days. I swallow something and it comes right back up, so i've been avoiding food.

Today I woke up and I felt like I got hit by a truck. I'm massively dehydrated and malnourished, no wonder, so today around 4 while everyone else had tacos (😩) I made some broth. Well now i'm running to the bathroom every 20 minutes and it seems like it's coming out the same way it went it and it suuucks.

the thing is- i knew this would happen, i just forgot! i used to drink broth a lot when i was restricting heavily and it always went right through me.

so i guess i'm just wondering does this happen to anyone else? does anyone know how i can avoid this? broth is the only thing i can keep down right now so i'd really like to keep drinking it but i can't if i'm going to be like this /:

[Discussion] Has anyone here ever tried Wink Ice cream? The 100-calorie per pint vegan ice cream?
/u/yellowlettuce [5'9" | CW:152 GW:125 | -83lbs ]
Created: Fri Oct 21 01:53:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58m3ed/has_anyone_here_ever_tried_wink_ice_cream_the/
---
Suuuuuuuper tempted to order some online. They package it in dry ice so it's "guaranteed frozen at the time of delivery."
Minimum order is 4 pints, but 6 pints is free shipping so i would probably do that.


But also, do I really want to do that to myself? Having that ice-cream just sitting there? But the upside is that it's so low-cal. I highly doubt I would be able to even finish a pint, because I don't even particularly enjoy sweets. So if I only finish half of a pint, that's 50cal. 10 potato chips is like 100-150 cal. So i'd much rather have that low cal ice cream available in case of a binge rather than a big bag of potato chips.

[Discussion] I don't know if anyone else can relate to this while dating but
/u/explodingrhinoceros [5'7" | CW: 166.0 | BMI: 25.9 | SW: 220.0 lbs | GW: 125.0 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Oct 21 01:45:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58m2p4/i_dont_know_if_anyone_else_can_relate_to_this/
---
For me, eating in front of someone I'm interested in is way more intimate than sex. I'm always relieved when they want to go out for drinks and not dinner, despite the possible implications.

The guy I was talking about in one of my last posts said something so unforgivable to me, especially to an eating disordered person, and I told him I didn't want to see him again. He had the nerve to say he knew I was going to break his heart. That upset me, yet in the back of my mind I was screaming "BUT I FUCKING ATE IN FRONT OF YOU!"

It didn't even matter that we were only seeing each other briefly and had slept together. Most folks would be thinking in my case "but we had sex!" Not me, I get angry when dates do something shitty and I've eaten in front of them.

[Thinspo] Eugenia though..❤
/u/High_as_red [5'4 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 21 01:35:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58m1ns/eugenia_though/
---
https://imgur.com/gallery/9MlrV

[Discussion] is anyone else fat but still has (have??) visible collarbones?
/u/get-it_together [5'3 |160??| UGW 125 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 21 01:34:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58m1m5/is_anyone_else_fat_but_still_has_have_visible/
---
I'm short and fat (yay me) aaaand I have broad shoulders for a girl. But the way my fat is distributed it's mostly in my ass and thighs, so my collarbone is really visible but I'm really overweight and it's throwing me for a loop. Is anyone else like this?

[Help] Boyfriend just moved his things into the guest room, so fuck me I guess
/u/onlyroom_forthin [5'6 | CW:149.6 | 24.24 | SW:165 | UGW:120 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 21 00:21:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58ltuq/boyfriend_just_moved_his_things_into_the_guest/
---
Edit: this isn't really about ED so I'm sorry if it's against the rules. I just didn't know where else to go.

I don't want to include too many details, he could already probably figure out who I am from my posts. We got in a fight tonight that mostly stemmed from him being drunk, we got home and I tried to just ignore him because fighting with him after he's been drinking never goes well. When I got up to go to bed he had moved all his things into the spare room/office and all my things out of the office into the bedroom. I wasn't hungry but it made me want to emotional eat so I ate a bagel which I hate myself for. I feel like we are over now. I'm not dumb, we'd been having issues ever since we moved in together, but I still really love him and I didn't want to break up.

My biggest trigger for serious restriction/fasting has been breakups so...I'm probably done eating for a while. My only plan for intake tomorrow is vodka. Fuck it. I give up.

[Intro] [Intro] Hey. I'm new to this site, just wanted to say hello & find some people that are like me & connect & feel better
/u/notworthausername [5'7" | 129 | 20.1 | -10 | 26F]
Created: Thu Oct 20 23:24:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58ln0k/intro_hey_im_new_to_this_site_just_wanted_to_say/
---
I'm almost 27, in December.

I first started worrying about weight when I was 9 because I turned to food as emotional support during my parents divorce. I'd put strapless bras around my chub and wear normal clothes over it so my fat wouldn't hang out. I was 9 and weighed 109lbs.

When I was 15 stress happened and I didn't really think about it, but I stopped eating for a couple days, eat, weigh myself, repeat. I didn't know it was happening. I hit 110lbs at my height now, a BMI of 17.17. My parents intervened, I got attention and love. Then I started drinking and smoking weed- my weight creeped up on 130.

19 years old, hit 136. I was devastated but drinking and drugs were my way out now.

20 years old I hit 140 and something had to stop. I consciously wouldn't eat. I started making myself purge. I got down to 123 and kept it there until I was 22, very unhealthily, kept purging. Then at almost 24 I started drinking more and eating more, and somehow reached 155.

I quit drinking (went to treatment), easily got back down to 140 with no ED in sight.

Now, my long-term boyfriend and I broke up, I don't have drugs or alcohol to turn to, and I've lost eight pounds this month so far. I don't know what's wrong with me.

I'm just looking for people who have been through this kind of thing because I can't tell anyone about it, simply because I don't think I can let go of it. It distracts me, and when I'm feeling really low I think I deserve to disappear. I know it's not right. I can't eat food without either feeling guilty, and lately it's been because I emotionally can't. There are too many good feelings associated with eating, or blocking shit out, and I don't want to block shit out by eating food. I just want my problems to go away. I don't know why I answer to life's problems like this. I just want to have the courage to be myself, and I can't. I feel weak and tired and frail. I want my body to feel the same. I get mad because I'm not mature enough to handle fucking adulting. Just looking to talk to someone so I don't feel so alone.

[Rant/Rave] My scale says I gained 15 lb
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 180 | -70 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 20 22:47:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58li8q/my_scale_says_i_gained_15_lb/
---
I know it can't be real weight so why am I still freaking out. Ugh I hate my scale so much.

[Other] I found a "How to Gain Weight" guide on Wikihow. Funny how I am doing exactly the opposite of all of the things listed.
/u/throwaway0908123 [5'7 | 120 | 18.73 | -17 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 20 21:25:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58l6nv/i_found_a_how_to_gain_weight_guide_on_wikihow/
---
http://www.wikihow.com/Gain-Weight-if-You-Are-Underweight

[Help] I'm new and I have a question.
/u/TummyRumblz [5'8" | CW:162.8| LW: 146 | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 20 21:11:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58l4n9/im_new_and_i_have_a_question/
---
I've been lurking here for a while and decided to make and account. This might be a dumb question, but are there any other black people here?

[Discussion] Dae obsessively worry about their health but at the same time want to die?
/u/Itsemurha [177cm|CW 67kg| GW: 55kg | SW:120kg |20.9| F]
Created: Thu Oct 20 20:51:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58l1ly/dae_obsessively_worry_about_their_health_but_at/
---
Fuck, idk what is wrong with me anymore.

[Discussion] Back In the Swing of Things
/u/antkings [GW 105 | BMI 20.77 | -79lbs | Male 20]
Created: Thu Oct 20 20:45:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58l0np/back_in_the_swing_of_things/
---
I'm almost feeling euphoric about my relapse. Throughout my childhood/teenage years, I had a really unhealthy relationship with food. I would binge, purge, starve-- only to realize that my bipolar disorder medication made it impossible to lose weight. After I got off of lithium and the other drugs, it became so easy to become anorexic. In 6 months I went from 200 (my highest) to 119 (my lowest). I started having the beginning of really bad health problems, and I couldn't keep up with taking care of my daily duties anymore. I would be so lightheaded or I would pass out from lack of nutrients. I started raw veganism after that, and as my ana faded and I worked hard I slowly merged into vegetarianism. I was working out and feeling better than ever. But school started and I got a full time position at my job-- so gone was the gym from me, I started to gain weight, and now my s/o had thrown out our scale, she wouldn't let me restrict or calorie count. I started to feel scared and anxious about my weight gain. By the time I stepped back on the scale, I was 135. I immediately upped my exercise, downloaded calorie counting apps, and began a "healthy" diet (just below my exercise calculated net calorie intake). I just cannot stand to look at myself in the mirror anymore though-- I have awful thoughts about myself, all I see is rolls and fat, all I can think is how I looked at 200.
So I'm back. I feel so much better now that I'm eating no more than 850 cals a day and burning at least 1800. I feel so much lighter.

[Rant/Rave] DAE have the same conflict as me or am I alone?
/u/Skinnystems
Created: Thu Oct 20 20:37:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58kzhu/dae_have_the_same_conflict_as_me_or_am_i_alone/
---
I'd hate to drag this out to some long explanation, so I'm going to try and make it short.

I am at a huge conflict with myself on a day to day basis. I have this deep, engraved and determined love for thin, delicate, tiny, small- framed bodies and I WANT and WISH and desire for that...

I struggle with the fact that I know that to achieve that body I want, I must restrict and starve and not binge, and I hate the body I am in and am so negative about how I feel about myself and insecure and sad...

And then they're is this other part of me that wants to love myself, TRUELY love my body and feed it what it wants and NEEDS and work out and be fit and strong and lean.

And I struggle with these two halves. I want to be tiny and delicate and bony and small, but healthy and fit and lean... and I know that's not possible. I can't be both. I want to cry.

[Rant/Rave] Asked if I could sit on my boyfriends lap and he said I would crush him..
/u/frailraven [5'10 | CW 117 | LW 115 | F20]
Created: Thu Oct 20 20:32:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58kyk5/asked_if_i_could_sit_on_my_boyfriends_lap_and_he/
---
So we were both playing video games and I asked if I could sit on his lap while he plays which we have done before. But this time he said I would crush him. I know I'm probably over reacting, but that was a huge trigger for me and I probably won't be eating much tomorrow...

[Rant/Rave] Plateau week. Ugh!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 20 19:18:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58kmq6/plateau_week_ugh/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] collarbones, chokers and slim necks are my favorite thing to paint👄💕🌸
/u/rukittenmerightnow
Created: Thu Oct 20 19:13:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58kly5/collarbones_chokers_and_slim_necks_are_my/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/20f807b5c75b47e18f752e80588d8281?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=e2822173271040e16f2cc39550b3cfcb

[Discussion] for those fighting for recovery, in a dark place, or at their lowest... some words i found strength in
/u/cactuskey [5'0 | CW: 105lb | GW: 75lb | 26F]
Created: Thu Oct 20 18:51:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58kic9/for_those_fighting_for_recovery_in_a_dark_place/
---
http://dearcoquette.com/on-a-beautiful-mess/

[Discussion] Thinspo?
/u/oksneaky [63in | CW: 126.8 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 20 18:02:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58ka0r/thinspo/
---
I feel guilty since she's trying to lose weight, but I started watching "My Big Fat Fabulous Life" and I'm so disgusted. She's not only grossly overweight, she's really dirty. She has trash all over her room at her PARENTS HOUSE, and her car is filled, too. She's so cocky about the fetish for fat women, too, and is blaming all her problems on PCOS. I know PCOS is real and can cause weight gain, but not the only reason. She eats pizza in the first episode. She's proud and astonished at a 4.5 pound weight loss in a week. I can't stop watching someone say you've seen this?!

[Meme/Humor] When your looking at tasty food during a fast.
/u/CowOffTheFarm [65" | 145 | 24.41 | - | F | GW 120]
Created: Thu Oct 20 18:02:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58k9zv/when_your_looking_at_tasty_food_during_a_fast/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HA1mbZ_MMh8

Goodbye guys <3
/u/peanutbutteredbanana
Created: Thu Oct 20 17:55:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58k8sz/goodbye_guys_3/
---
I just wanted to say bye to one of the best communities I've ever participated in. I wish you all luck with whatever your goals are. My ED has consumed every aspect of my life and i think its time for me to try and recover for real this time. I want to live a normal teenage life and not fret over my body, calories, and my weight. I want to be happy as well and it's not possible to be a happy anorexic. I'll probably be back soon as recovery never ends up well, but maybe this time will be different. Love you guys and I'll miss you all <3 thank you for being so supportive!

[Discussion] Homemade Broth?
/u/possiblycurious [5'5"| 142|GW 125| -8lbs| F]
Created: Thu Oct 20 17:45:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58k765/homemade_broth/
---
I can't stand the bland flavour of store broth or the crazy sodium, so


I boiled some chicken & herbs together. I gave the chicken to the spouse & nestled in for the night with the broth.


I imagine the calorie count can't be craazy, unless I was boiling super fatty chicken?

[Rant/Rave] [rant/intro]
/u/qwertylooping [5' 3" | LW 107 | CW: dory speaks my language]
Created: Thu Oct 20 17:22:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58k3b4/rantintro/
---
I’m currently at work because I just binged and purged for the umpteenth time here because it was a food day and I have absolutely zero self-control. I keep debating between being satisfied and happy with my body and wanting to starve myself back to inny skinny me. At the beginning of summer, I was the smallest I’d ever been in my life, including childhood – visible abs, toned arms, a 22.5 inch waist – I had it all – or so I keep thinking. In reality, I know I was still dissatisfied with my thighs and calves, and tempted to get to an even 100 lbs. I was blacking out from the electrolyte imbalances and foggy-headed most of the day, developing wrinkles from dehydration, had amenorrhea, and would isolate myself to binge and purge multiple times a day. All my hobbies and relationships were sacrificed to my obsession with food.

But I was happier with myself than I am now, empty-headedness, health issues and all. I decided to “recover” at the end of July, deluded, thinking I could go about it on my own without a therapist or support system. Now I’m back up to the clothes I fit in at 135-140 lbs and I’m too scared to weigh myself. But I know I’m still healthy, despite almost being overweight. I hit the gym 5-6 times a week, have a resting heart rate below 70, and can lift more than ever before.

I’m so, so conflicted. I want to be tiny again. I want to intuitively eat without obsessing about every single macro or calorie in a single bite of food. I want to be strong and fast. But then I want to fast and hit an underweight BMI. I want to be strong, independent, driven, and derive confidence from my personality, not my looks. But I want to be stared at in the street again and be catered to like I was 30 lbs ago.

I don’t really know where I’m going with this or what decision I’ll come to. If I’ll even come to one. I just needed to get something out. Even though I have so much more to say. I don’t know. I guess is anyone in the same boat?


[Other] Peach Username List
/u/citrus_cunt [5' 9"| 139lbs | 19.5| +2lbs | F]
Created: Thu Oct 20 17:16:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58k24s/peach_username_list/
---
Hey guys! I thought it would be a good idea if we shared our peach accounts! :)

I'm citrus_cunt

[Goal] My appetite is starting to go away again, and I'm a little grateful
/u/rukittenmerightnow
Created: Thu Oct 20 17:00:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58jz2i/my_appetite_is_starting_to_go_away_again_and_im_a/
---
Hi, I've been fasting for the past month, getting about 1,000 calories a day and recently I've been fasting all day until dinner, and trying to keep it under 500 a day. During the school day I get waves of hunger and then it subsides and sometimes by dinner time I'm not even hungry at all! I still eat because my family's around though :) also, I didn't purge today! For the first time in a few weeks, I'm so happy


Have an awesome day❤️

[Discussion] Does anyone else have an irl thinspo?
/u/OperatingOnScientist [5'3 | 128.6lbs | 23.41 | F | UGW 100lbs]
Created: Thu Oct 20 16:54:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58jy44/does_anyone_else_have_an_irl_thinspo/
---
There's a girl on my course who is absolutely 100% thinspo goals. She's in a lot of my classes and laboratories, and she is so skinny and dainty and beautiful. Seeing her five days a week is so motivating! Does anyone else have any day to day irl thinspo? And is it creepy for me to have thinspo of someone that I know?

[Rant/Rave] exhausted
/u/kinaadman [5'1" | SW 210 | CW 110 | GW: 90 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 20 16:46:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58jwm6/exhausted/
---
i binged/purged for hours last night and today for breakfast i ate about 890 calories of breakfast on like less than 2 hours of sleep. things are stressful at home; someone my family was dependent on is dead now and i am being made to step up and i can't take care of everyone, i can barely take care of myself

[Help] Preventing weakness before exercise?
/u/procoyo [5'6" | 190lb | GW:140lb | -5lb | F]
Created: Thu Oct 20 16:21:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58js1u/preventing_weakness_before_exercise/
---
I started taking exercise classes this week, the same week I fell back into my old ED habits. I'm doing so well, eating under 200 calories every day, drinking so much lovely tea, and I've lost 8lbs in 4 days (btw I'm literally obese). But I don't want to pass out on the dance floor. Any advice for keeping strength up for about an hour's worth of work?

[Tip] Motivation tip :)
/u/nightprowla
Created: Thu Oct 20 16:11:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58jq90/motivation_tip/
---
Cut a ribbon to the size you want your waist to be. I measured my ribbon to 22inch. Then wrap the ribbon around your wrist, when you want to eat or binge or go over your daily amount, un wrap the ribbon and admire it, count to 100 and by that time you'll have changed your mind on what you were going to do. Tried it today and saved me 230cals hehe

[Discussion] Making myself feel awful on purpose to avoid eating
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 20 16:07:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58jpea/making_myself_feel_awful_on_purpose_to_avoid/
---
I have social anxiety really bad but I go out anyway because I know I'll eat less or nothing if I spot a girl thinner than me (which I always do). Plus I burn calories on the walk, as well.

Anyone else do similar stuff?

[Other] I woke up to a plane flying over my house, which isn't abnormal considering where I live.
/u/Comeheredia
Created: Thu Oct 20 15:44:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58jl6u/i_woke_up_to_a_plane_flying_over_my_house_which/
---
It took me a moment to realise it was my stomach growling fiercely. I love it!

[Discussion] Anyone else excited about The Neon Demon?
/u/FeedMeDreams [5'5" | 64.4kg | 23.7 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 20 15:40:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58jkgp/anyone_else_excited_about_the_neon_demon/
---
New movie, I keep seeing ads for it on Facebook but I don't think it's out yet, at least not here. I can't talk to anyone irl about it, but it looks like amazing thinspo. On the other hand, kinda depressing that I'll never be that young again. Probably never be that thin, either.

[Other] Decided to splurge and bought 10 pints of Halo Top.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 20 15:06:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58jdya/decided_to_splurge_and_bought_10_pints_of_halo_top/
---
[deleted]

PRO ANA coach : Master
/u/ukjeff2014
Created: Thu Oct 20 14:59:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58jcab/pro_ana_coach_master/
---
[removed]

[Goal] I think pant sizes lie, these are a size 2. But I sure love the way they fit and make me feel. That's all that matters, that you always feel great in your own skin.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 20 14:04:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58j1bt/i_think_pant_sizes_lie_these_are_a_size_2_but_i/
---
https://m.imgur.com/a/zYKTb

[Discussion] Do you weigh yourself after binges?
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 143.8 | 23.30 | -50ish | F]
Created: Thu Oct 20 13:52:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58iyvi/do_you_weigh_yourself_after_binges/
---
I have a weird thing with the scale. It's extremely triggering, but in a really unpredictable way. I wont know if i'll binge or fast after, until i weigh myself. And since it exacerbates everything, i always give myself a day without weighing myself after a binge. What do you all do?

Guys- I'm at the end of a two day binge, I need to wake up tomorrow and not stuff my face AGAIN. Please motivate meeee!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 20 13:43:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58iwx4/guys_im_at_the_end_of_a_two_day_binge_i_need_to/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] I've full-on relapsed and I feel both great and horrible about it
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 20 13:29:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58iu87/ive_fullon_relapsed_and_i_feel_both_great_and/
---
I've been on the verge of relapsing for a month or so and have mostly tried to fight it, but here I am. I've completely reverted to my old behaviors - I'm counting every calorie, only eating when people are watching, and obsessively checking "how long to lose x pounds on y calories per day" calculators (and creating secret Reddit accounts to hide from my partner - can't forget that). I feel guilty about failing at the recovery I worked so hard on for years, but at the same time I feel so in control of myself and can't wait to get rid of the weight I've put on over the past few years.

[Goal] Finally able to lose weight. (Mobile can't flair)
/u/DollfaceJasmine
Created: Thu Oct 20 13:07:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58ipus/finally_able_to_lose_weight_mobile_cant_flair/
---
For the past few months I couldn't lose weight due to birth control and finally I got it removed yesterday. Since yesterday I have gone from 162 to 157. I'm also proud because I only ate some toast and drank some coffee so far today. :)

[Rant/Rave] Sodium and bloating
/u/depressionbunny [5'6" | 138 | 22.6 | -12 | FM]
Created: Thu Oct 20 12:42:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58ikm1/sodium_and_bloating/
---
I knew what I was getting myself into by living off of broth and protein bars. Still, though I know it's temporary, now that I'm all puffy from the salt, I'm disappoint despite the scale dipping lower and lower.

I focus mainly on muscle definition. I want to look shredded. But all this water weight is in the way. I know I'm losing fat, just annoying in the mean time.

That's all.

[Rant/Rave] Period and restricting cramps ruining me :(
/u/imperfectcontrol [5'6" | CW: 115 | 18.56 | CGW: 100 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 20 12:33:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58iio4/period_and_restricting_cramps_ruining_me/
---
I just got my period and my cramps are always so bad. On top of that, I haven't eaten in 30 hours. My stomach hurts so much right now. I don't even know if I can tylenol.

Any idea on how I can ignore the pain and focus on getting work done? I'm really scared to eat because what if it becomes a binge, and afterwards, my stomach pain is still there?

:(

(mobile so can't flair sorry)

Period and restricting cramps are ruining me
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 20 12:31:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58iiaw/period_and_restricting_cramps_are_ruining_me/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] everything going wrong
/u/eekcoffee [5'7'' | 128lbs | 19.98 | -28 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 20 12:30:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58ii5t/everything_going_wrong/
---
I don't really know where else to vent.. I usually just lurk on this subreddit (with a few posts here and there) but I feel like I have so much going on and I just need to let it out. Usually I'll talk about my problems to my boyfriend but he's been so busy recently that he just doesn't have much time for me..

I have a transgender brother (FTM) who's 14 years old and who I absolutely love to death. Unfortunately, he just started high school and the administration is a shitshow when it comes to his rights. At first he was able to use the boy's bathroom with no problem. He's very open about his gender and no male student has had a problem with it. But recently the school superintendent created a policy stating that he could not use those bathrooms and could not room with anyone not of his biological gender on his band trip (the policy came out the day before this trip. he has another one coming up where all 3 male potential roommates are aware he is transgender and are totally fine with rooming together. it also costs a lot more to have a single, which is what the school is trying to force him to do). when my mom mentioned that the bathroom thing is a clear violation of his rights due to both state and federal regulations on the matter, she was completely ignored. so she said she would only be communicating with lawyers present from then on, and they replied that they would meet with her with no lawyers present but instead with a special ed teacher. like wtf? that pisses me off so much that they'd imply my brother belongs in special ed because he's transgender. it makes me so mad and i really want to be there for my brother.

but at some level, i wish that my family didn't tell me things. they don't know the extent of my metal health problems and i don't want them too. they don't even know that i was diagnosed with and medicated for major depression and an anxiety disorder. but i feel like my emotions have been so out of wack that i'm starting to fall apart and i don't know what to do. it's like the only thing i have control over anymore is not eating. on top of the family stuff, i feel like i'm drowning at school. i am forcing myself to spend time at the library (which is more than i can say for past semesters) so i'm hanging on academically but i just feel so dead and miserable. i feel like i'm just not good at engineering and there's no way i'll be able to live up to expectations once i graduate in a year and i'll just fail at whatever job i have.

and of course, with all of this stress i've been fasting and binging and i just want to break into the 120s already. i know that being skinny won't fix all of my problems, but it will make it better. i just want that control.

sorry for the length and if this didn't make sense... i just needed to get it out

[Discussion] What is Peach and is it worth getting?
/u/citrus_cunt [5' 9"| 139lbs | 19.5| +2lbs | F]
Created: Thu Oct 20 11:53:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58iaa2/what_is_peach_and_is_it_worth_getting/
---
Specifically what's the proed community like there? Is it easy to use?

[Rant/Rave] Been a rough week (rant)
/u/citrus_cunt [5' 9"| 139lbs | 19.5| +2lbs | F]
Created: Thu Oct 20 11:41:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58i7qr/been_a_rough_week_rant/
---
Got back from a week long binge/booze fest and I've been trying so hard to fix it. Good news- I'm not over 140! Bad news- my inner food schedule is so wacked. Now I get so hungry in the morning I have to eat breakfast before I work out and eat a full lunch (ugh!!) And i hate eating first thing in the morning!! And lunch!

I made a great plan which involves me making one goal for each week: like a food to avoid, a habit, a time frame, exercise types, you name it! This week was to eat a salad or fruit for every meal... and then my father came to visit and we went for burgers.... And then the debate... and then weed... and then bingeing...

Thankfully I only ate 1500-2000 calories which is way lower than my usual +2500 binges.

And my period is coming up in the next week and I *always* binge eat carbs the week before. Ach!!!

Sorry, I just needed somewhere to bitch out loud for a bit.


In other news I'm going to quit smoking weed and drinking for a few weeks. I just can't handle the binge triggers, plus I can feel the ickyness building up in my organs. I feel slimy from toxins. Blech!!!

[Discussion] Relationships and EDs
/u/lightfeathers [5'4" | CW 112 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 20 10:43:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58hvi4/relationships_and_eds/
---
How do your SOs handle you having an eating disorder? Do they know? If they don't, how do you hide it from them? How do you wish they handled your ED?

It's a very interesting topic, in my opinion. My SO knows about my ED and he tries to be supportive of me because when he used to freak out about it and get mad at me for restricting and fasting, it just made me scared of opening up to him and it just pushed me away. Now, he just tries to make sure I'm not severely harming my body.

[Goal] body check because I'm feeling good today!
/u/hoofofpig
Created: Thu Oct 20 10:41:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58hv2l/body_check_because_im_feeling_good_today/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/22e1f20aa4524b2f9d9eda20db4fab96?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=d48048710ba1dd87dd210c76f9105580

[Rant/Rave] First body check in years.. getting there again? (5'2" 106lbs.)
/u/SebastianofSiena [160cm | 106lbs | 19.30 | 0lbs | FtM]
Created: Thu Oct 20 10:19:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58hqo5/first_body_check_in_years_getting_there_again_52/
---
http://i.imgur.com/gGTfSAe.jpg

[Rant/Rave] Disappointment and binging
/u/EmpireStateBitch [5'4" | CW 120 | GW 115 | UGW 100 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 20 10:10:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58hou7/disappointment_and_binging/
---
I was 2 days away from my next fight and I just found out it was cancelled. I am binging like absolutely crazy. At least when I'm training I know binging isn't an option and I rarely do it, but guys I'm just crushed.

I know pizza doesn't fix disappointment, and it doesn't fix any of the holes in my heart, but cheese just tastes so fucking good.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 20, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Oct 20 10:02:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58hnbd/daily_food_diary_october_20_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 20, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Meme/Humor] Found this in my chemistry textbook, wouldn't it be nice if the answer was yes?
/u/newportshorty [5'9 | CW:180 | -40]
Created: Thu Oct 20 09:46:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58hjvr/found_this_in_my_chemistry_textbook_wouldnt_it_be/
---
http://imgur.com/bHhI4qM

[Rant/Rave] I photoshopped myself to my "ideal" and still hated my body
/u/overcastforever
Created: Thu Oct 20 09:38:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58hibi/i_photoshopped_myself_to_my_ideal_and_still_hated/
---
I used to do a lot of retouching on models bodies when I worked for a fashion company so I know my way around photoshop. Well I did it on myself for the first time and no matter what I did I still found something to hate. I wasn't expecting this. I thought it would AT LEAST give me some kind of motivation or goal to work towards. But no, even if with the magic of photoshop, I will never look like the thinspo I look at unless I literally place my head on their bodies. effff

Side note: I can't believe I used to photoshop models. They were legit perfect and we still photoshopped them.

[Discussion] DAE do weird stuff to burn extra calories during normal activities?
/u/hh_lb
Created: Thu Oct 20 09:13:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58hdcc/dae_do_weird_stuff_to_burn_extra_calories_during/
---
Like when I'm sitting at work, I do leg lifts under my desk, touching my knee to the top of my desk. 20 on each leg and I just keep going back and forth. Like a way of getting in little exercises while I can't work out and it helps me not think about food and think about my goal bod instead :-)

There's also construction in my building at work so we have to go downstairs to use the bathroom now. I drink sooooo much water so that I have an excuse to use the stairs.

Anyone else do stuff like this?? And if so, what do you do bc I need some new ones lol.

[Rant/Rave] Vyvanse
/u/rizzle_riz [5'4' | CW:141 | 24.89 | -18 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 20 08:58:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58ha4s/vyvanse/
---
I've been prescribed medications for ADD since I was like 8, but have been on and off them through my life. I took some today for the sake of getting a fuck ton of homework and studying done, after it being a year since the last time I took it, and man do I feel like an anxious mess right now. I know a lot of people rave about vyvanse or adderall but it makes my anxiety go through the roof and I don't know how to cope with it. It's one of the main reasons I despise having to take it even though it helps my concentration immensely and helps with my appetite. It also triggers my trichotillomania which i've been doing incredibly good about this past year.

[Discussion] After eating my 280 calorie breakfast, I almost grabbed a ~500 calorie cinnamon roll and ruined my day. Instead, I got a black coffee. What was your last success?
/u/TessTobias [5'5" | 120 | 19.7 | -22]
Created: Thu Oct 20 08:55:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58h9na/after_eating_my_280_calorie_breakfast_i_almost/
---
I am so flipping proud to have had the self-control to avoid a binge. I feel like I'm back on track and I want to hear your success stories!

[Rant/Rave] Shiritaki noodles have changed my life! ❤
/u/DenyMyHunger [5'7"| Fat! | UGW:112| F]
Created: Thu Oct 20 08:46:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58h7xq/shiritaki_noodles_have_changed_my_life/
---
I buy "Eat water" slim products and have been eating them every day and it's so freeing to basically have whatever I want because I ordered noodles, rice and pasta so the possibilities are endless!

I ordered them in bulk a while ago and have just placed a second order for another 16 packs! I'm so excited and have my full week planned out.

I don't know where I was going with this. Just kinda want to rave I guess!

[Help] getting close to goal weight - maintenance?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 20 08:30:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58h4yq/getting_close_to_goal_weight_maintenance/
---
hey everyone! so; i'm five pounds away from my first goal weight (115 lbs). I plan on switching to maintenance pretty soon for the holidays because my family is really nosy and I know they'll think something is up if i start skipping on the christmas cookies and thanksgiving treats. the thing is maintenance scares the shit out of me. all i ever hear is how everyone gains everything back and more after eating at a deficit and that just boggles my mind.. lately i've been losing weight and eating roughly 550 to 850 calories a day and i'm trying to figure out how to shift to maintaining 115 lbs once I get there without gaining everything back?
I've looked at several different calculators to figure out my maintenance and everywhere I look puts me roughly between 1350 calories to as much as 1650 calories a day (at sedentary)..

basically, my question is, for those of you who currently maintain at a low BMI/low weight; how'd you do it? how'd you transition? did you see any weight gain initially? did it go back down if you did gain?

thanks so much guys; you're all seriously a wonderful community - i look forward to hearing your opinions/advice!

[Rant/Rave] My emotions are so fucked today
/u/bookofbluesysaturday [5'7 | 141 | GW:115 | -31 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 20 08:27:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58h4e9/my_emotions_are_so_fucked_today/
---
I haven't done any homework all week and it's catching up to me. I didn't wake up in time to make it to class so I decided to stay home and try to get caught up but I'm just so unhappy I don't know if I can function.

I fasted over the weekend. Two full days of not eating, just straight water and a little pickle juice for electrolytes. After my fast was over, I didn't binge. I kept it under a thousand calories every day, I went running, I watched my sodium intake, drank tons of water.

This morning after using the restroom I weighed myself and I was up three pounds from my pre-fast weight. I just sat on the floor and cried for about ten minutes. There's no way I'll be able to make myself eat today even though I have to work later.

I understand logically that I have to be losing weight and that it's not all going to happen evenly and in a linear fashion but this feels like too much for me to bear. I need a break from my life to focus on not eating.

[Rant/Rave] Relapse
/u/bloodketosexmagic
Created: Thu Oct 20 08:25:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58h3yp/relapse/
---
87 days purge free until now. Done it twice already, it would've been 100 days on halloween.

Feeling pretty numb right now.

[Discussion] Sitting in class right now and we're watching a documentary about the origin of McDonalds.
/u/skinnieme [66" | 132lbs | 21.39| F]
Created: Thu Oct 20 08:19:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58h2y4/sitting_in_class_right_now_and_were_watching_a/
---
Lord help me.

[Intro] Hi, everyone!
/u/SebastianofSiena [160cm | 106lbs | 19.30 | 0lbs | FtM]
Created: Thu Oct 20 07:54:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58gy5l/hi_everyone/
---
Hello, all. I'm SebastianofSiena, Seb is fine. I used to come here way back, under the name 4st00lbs (after my then-GW). My current GW is more like 3st, ha. I'm a transsexual male, 7st 7lbs at last weigh-in. 5'2". Currently IP for schizophrenia. Last few days I've lived on cereal bars and cigarettes. Hoping to chop the cereal bars out and stick to the coffee & fags. Nurses get angry but they don't do a thing! So life is not all that bad. Hope someone remembers me (this was back when we had.. three subscribers?), and hope I still fit in! <3

[Help] Retracting a confession?
/u/heyhiohhello [5'6"/f/21 | UGW 51.8 [18.0]]
Created: Thu Oct 20 07:45:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58gwhz/retracting_a_confession/
---
I need lines to say to divert attention from my ED, because I'm dumb and sold myself out... Like, has anyone has ever felt the need to back track on a confession to someone that they made about ED? I need a little help in dealing with a fresh situation... I don't want the topic of my ED to exist between my SO and I, because it's an obvious conflict of interest...
The story:
Last night I TOTALLY BONED myself because my SO was like yo babe let's get pizza and I was all YEAH!! then I was all WAIT ... calorie land, sotheni wasall I'M VEGAN so then he was like do you want to just get like sauce and pepper mushrooms on bread? And I was like o b v i o u s l y n o t because if I'm eating pizza (which i dont find super good) I want an insane crazy pizza, not bread, that will be worth the one slice I eat (know what I mean..) but I didn't say that. I got awkward. Then he was asking me questions about pizza toppings (which bc of ED I like cant make a choice about because toppings are calories?? Stop asking about every single step plzzzz??) And I spazzed, said no to pizza. Time passed. Because he doesnt know the extent of my body issues, i wanted to diffuse the sitch.. I joked about getting two large pizzas for food to last a long time and he said

"Oh would you get that because you dont eat a lot?"
And I ASSUMED HE MEANT THAT WAS LIKE A TYPE OF RECOVERY LIKE NOW THAT THE SEMESTER STARTED AND IM DISCHARGED THAT I AM FATTENING MYSELF UP and I cried and got eMoTiOnAl irrational existential and suicidal, I started drinking and hyperventilating because SO just FOR THE FIRST TIME MENTIONED MY WEIGHT and yeah I made a big fuckin deal..... And it turns out he just meant that it would be a lot of food to store for a time, like as a joke because I could do it.

WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT AND SAY heha yea that would be metabolically favourable for the semester, pizza is so good so, I love you goodnight <8^) he's in class rn, and I'm pretending to sleep - but I'm going to have to address this because we are in such a healthy (ignorant) relationship. What do I say????

??????

[Other] You can't vent to the person you're mad at - that's called arguing!
/u/CowOffTheFarm [65" | 145 | 24.41 | - | F | GW 120]
Created: Thu Oct 20 07:32:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58gucv/you_cant_vent_to_the_person_youre_mad_at_thats/
---
Just a line my mom dropped when offering her support for me, even if it's just a kind ear that'll listen. I just love you lovelies and needed to share that line with somebody!

Thanks to this wonderful community for being that listening ear for anybody who needs it <3

[Rant/Rave] Finally restricting again :)
/u/LeicesterSquare [1.83 m | 68 kg | M]
Created: Thu Oct 20 07:32:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58gu9e/finally_restricting_again/
---
So I stopped counting calories around June, when I decided to hit the gym to build some muscle.
I've been awful. Binging almost daily, I don't think there's been a day in which I have eaten less than my TDEE, and even though I have put on some lean mass, I'm as fat as I used to be before I started restricting. So, after last night's binge, I decided to take control again: I downloaded myFitnessPal, and I'll be logging everything I put in my mouth, making sure I won't go over 1700 daily calories ever. I'll also lift and do cardio at least 5 days every week.
So far I've had my very own oatmeal alternative (made with cauliflower, berries, peanut butter, cinnamon, soy bran, and soy milk) for breakfast, and it's been great. I weighed and logged every single ingredient scrupulously and will continue to do so, nothing will be ignored.
I'll also only eat real food, made by myself only: enough with processed stuff.
I want to keep doing this until my appetite reaches human levels again, and only then I'll be capable of recovering and stop tracking my intake.


[Other] on mobile can't flair, but body check 10/20
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 20 07:27:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58gtki/on_mobile_cant_flair_but_body_check_1020/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/facf2b17960e4beaadd2c1426ba0a24e?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=9d39962a91cdf2bd0f52a97bb3be1cc4

[Help] Meta Appetite Control
/u/Neshamizz
Created: Thu Oct 20 07:20:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58gsaj/meta_appetite_control/
---
Has anyone ever used this? I tend to stick to green tea pills but they make me twitchy beyond belief. I saw this on an ad and was curious if anyone had ever used that product?

[Tip] fasting tip!
/u/clamshells [5'7 | 115 | 18.0 | f]
Created: Thu Oct 20 07:08:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58gqb7/fasting_tip/
---
sometimes when i'm on a fast, i'll put on a really pretty, finicky lipstick. i'm talking the kind that looks good but is cheap enough to smudge the moment you put anything near your mouth. then try as long as you can to keep the lipstick intact! you're pretty much limited to anything you can drink through a straw :)

[Discussion] "Healthy" binges
/u/averagefruitt
Created: Thu Oct 20 07:06:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58gq10/healthy_binges/
---
Do you guys ever binge on healthy food? I have orthorexia and anorexia, so I never binge on junk food, but I always eat healthy food in enormous amounts.. Today I had an entire pineapple, a bag of dates, two cups of oats and a bunch of other stuff. All healthy, but I went way over my usual intake :/ I feel awful right now.

[Intro] [Intro] Glad I've finally found a place I can get this off my chest - I worry whether my boyfriend and I are a "proportional" couple.
/u/nauticaI [5'3.5" | BMI 19.8 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 20 07:03:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58gpes/intro_glad_ive_finally_found_a_place_i_can_get/
---
I should be studying for an exam, but instead I just found this sub and created an account. I posted in forums like this once upon a time and always used to edit my information a bit for anonymity, but I'm not hiding anything for now. Sorry if this gets lengthy.

**I'll give a short background to start, but feel free to skip:**
I'm a 22 year old college student about to graduate. I was never technically overweight, but undiagnosed anxiety throughout my childhood made me extremely self conscious. I went on my first diet when I was 11. I remember being starving at the end of the first week, and my mom came into my room, sat with me on my bed, and told me how proud she was of me for trying to improve myself. She has always been so incredibly loving and supportive of me. I wanted to be perfect for my parents and myself. I didn't look back from there and yo-yo dieted until high school when I began purging. It was worst my junior year. I erased all evidence of my junior prom because my face was swollen and I had lost a lot of hair. Early in college, I connected with my roommate over our struggles with food. Once she transferred out to go to rehab for her disorder, I tried to get healthy. I've seen a couple of therapists for anxiety and depression and always hated it even though I'm a psychology major and planned to be a counselor until recently. I've never lasted more than a few sessions, and have never been able to bring up my relationship with food. Sometimes I'm meticulously, obsessively healthy for months and sometimes I eat fast food uncontrollably for months. Sometimes I B/P daily and sometimes I restrict. Sometimes, somehow, I feel completely normal. I am constantly cycling. My weight has fluctuated 20 lbs. throughout college. I was about 135 at my worst. I made it down below 115 this summer, but it has begun creeping up again.

**This brings us to now.**
I spent this summer the lowest weight I've been all of college. I started dating my first real boyfriend, Simon, shortly before. Simon is pretty much perfect for me - from his bizarre sense of humor to his taste in music and literature to his group of friends, I admit we're a match on so many levels; I never could've imagined something like this for myself. I admired him from afar beginning my freshman year, and am not sure how I got so lucky for things to fall into place the way they have. My last summer of uni was nothing short of amazing - one of the best summers I've ever had. It all felt so effortless. I only wanted to keep shrinking, but once classes started back up, I guess I got distracted.

I've begun to put some of the weight back on and can feel things slipping through my fingers. My relationship is wonderful, but these thoughts are driving me nuts. I'm starting to sabotage myself, looking for scabs in my life that I can pick at until they're raw, the way I always do. Simon is a soccer player and in great shape, on the smaller side at 5'7. He is very toned and weighed about 140 when we started dating. But as I've put on 5 lbs., he has dropped 10. I've become consumed with trying to figure out if I'm too big for him. When my weight was steadily below 115, this didn't worry me much at all. Now I feel shallow and ridiculous. Is 3-4 inches enough of a height difference? Do I really feel okay only weighing 10 lbs. less than him? Why am I trying to find problems in an otherwise perfect relationship?

I'm sure no one will read all of this, but I've been itching to talk about it somewhere for what feels like the longest time now, just to get it off my chest. To anyone else, I know I must sound horribly petty. And I don't want to talk with Simon about it because I don't want him to feel like there's anything wrong with him (or me, for that matter). He know's I've struggled with anxiety, but knows nothing about my fucked up relationship with food. I'm just too ashamed to talk about it with anyone.

**So, this is where I am.** I am getting my eating habits back on track. I am re-focusing. To start, I just want to get back below 115, where my problems seemed non-existent. This feels like a reasonable, realistic beginning goal, and I'm not putting any crazy time constraints on it that will throw me off. We'll see where it goes from there. I just want to thank you all for being here and giving me a place to express this judgment-free.

[Other] Weight loss journal post: Ready for November! (I know, way too early)
/u/lightfeathers [5'4" | CW 112 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 20 06:47:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58gmqf/weight_loss_journal_post_ready_for_november_i/
---
https://imgur.com/a/PzOnm

[Discussion] Chat group!
/u/fishysandwich [5'3.5 | 115 | GW: 100 | -30 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 20 06:24:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58gjdj/chat_group/
---
Since there's a bunch of people like me wanting a group, let's just start one! Just post your kik below and I'll try to add you all to a group


[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support October 20, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Oct 20 06:02:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58gg4n/weekly_emotional_support_october_20_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

*****

Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Help] how often do I need to get a new scale to be sure that it is rightly calibrated?
/u/ED2134 [168cm | fat | female| -10kg]
Created: Thu Oct 20 03:06:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58fw5d/how_often_do_i_need_to_get_a_new_scale_to_be_sure/
---
Okay I kinda freaking out.. don't know exactly why.

One of my biggest fears is that the scale is lying to me. And I have no way of knowing. And that the food scale decides to show a number to low whenever I weigh something that is high in calories.

And i just had this thought that maybe a scale needs to be calibrated every once in a while.
So how often do I need to get a new scale to be sure that it is rightly calibrated? How much off will it be if it is not rightly calibrated because it is in use for ages?

[Other] Illustration, AN
/u/Skinnytw [5'6 | 110 |17.8| F]
Created: Thu Oct 20 03:03:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58fvvx/illustration_an/
---
http://imgur.com/a/3fv4V

[Help] anyone else getting purging side effects?
/u/wyydean [5'3| CW125lb | GW100lb | F]
Created: Thu Oct 20 02:16:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58frfy/anyone_else_getting_purging_side_effects/
---
ah so back when i mostly used purging instead of restricting i ate key foods to purge easy, ice cream, cereal, etc.-- a year later and i still cant eat these foods without instantly throwing it back up against my will. if i try to fight it my stomach feels so uncomfortable for the rest of the day, is this common?

[Help] trip with new boy
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 106 lb | 21.34 | -21.5| Female]
Created: Thu Oct 20 01:48:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58fos0/trip_with_new_boy/
---
im going on a vacation with a new guy who i really like- we have yet to have meals together (been really lucky with avoiding them), but obvs staying in a hotel for a weekend idk what to do. I dont want to suck it up and get sent into a binge cycle, but i also dont want him to think im crazy.... urgh and its NYC so i know theres gonna be so much pizza thrown in my face

[Help] Help please I need excuses
/u/little-paws
Created: Thu Oct 20 01:43:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58fo79/help_please_i_need_excuses/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] I get all my calories from just alcohol.
/u/stillinhell [5'4" | 110 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Oct 20 01:28:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58fmp5/i_get_all_my_calories_from_just_alcohol/
---
This isnt an exaggeration. Every day for the past 3 weeks I've been binge-drinking and eating barely any food. Every few days I've been forcing myself to get at least some little dinner delivery, but I really only eat about half of it before putting it away. For some reason, any and all food is so completely unappetizing or appealing. I've been dropping weight quickly and I know this is unhealthy and unsustainable. I really don't want to continue down this path. I've also been using much more cocaine than I'd ever believe I'd do. I've been drinking and doing cocaine alone every night (I live alone). Can anyone relate? Anyone have any advice on how to pull myself out of this? I never binge on food but it feels like this is a similar out-of-control occurrence. Where I suddenly find myself walking to the store to buy more beer. I'm really good at making excuses on why it's justified for me to go to the store or to text the local dealer. I do have AN-Restriction and I know deep down I'm very pleased with the easy weight loss, but I also am realistic and logical and I KNOW this cannot continue. Idk I'm really nervous to post this but I'm hoping that I'm not completely alone. I guess I feel that if I make this post, I'm taking a step forward towards recovery and admitting there's a problem.

[Rant/Rave] Why I'm Back Tonight
/u/originalRedBull [5'5 | 112 | 18.86 | -19 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 20 00:32:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58fgie/why_im_back_tonight/
---
Hey guys, so I don't even know exactly how to start. I'm 24.. I've been active in this lovely community on and off for the past year. Well tonight I have a story that brought me back to the one place I could vent about this and be truly understood.

So I have a group of friends, mostly older who I hang out with at a local bar. One of them is the bartender, and the others are all local workers from downtown. I know them pretty well, and the bar has often kind of felt like a safe haven of sorts. Well the bartender tonight (Tom) was in a mood for some reason and just kept giving me shit about how I look. At first it was crude compliments, then it moved on to blunt sexual comments about my chest and ass. My other "friend" (Steve) was drunk and just egging him on. The last actual friend (Max) was sitting there awkwardly and didn't really say anything but would shake his head and roll his eyes etc.
Well these comments just escalate and it is getting the attention of other guys at the bar (probably the only 5 other people there but still).. my anxiety went through the roof. I hate having attention on me and this was terrible attention. I was wearing a hoodie and jeans, not that it really matters except that I CHOSE that outfit because I am at a higher weight I've been at in months (117lbs I think).
Anyway, I'm getting panicked but mostly just drinking and trying to ignore most comments until I hear Tom say "Wow you look like you put on weight." And I just fucking choke on my drink and give some sarcastic answer.. but it doesn't stop. He's like "yeah I knew it, fatty. You're such a lard" (I KID YOU NOT). So he pauses and I just stand up and head towards the bathroom bc I'm about to lose my shit in 3 seconds, and the whole walk back he starts back in and the last thing I hear before slamming the bathroom door was "FATTY!" Again. And I just fucking cried and thought about Steve and all of those perverted men cracking up and I felt like suffocating. I literally just felt like rock bottom trapped in that bathroom, and fearing that laughter but knowing I had to leave.

Sorry this is so long. I'm just so defeated, I've never felt more worthless. It is even worse being in a place I thought was alright. I never want to eat, I feel so ashamed and the cycle I've been in lately is just getting worse. There is no point in recovery when I have to feel so shitty. I just want to go back to numb and hungry, please please please.

I'm on mobile but will try to Flair soon. Thanks for listening :(

[Rant/Rave] Leaving for the waterpark in a few hours and here's how I'm dealing with it.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | 145.8 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 20 00:15:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58fen1/leaving_for_the_waterpark_in_a_few_hours_and/
---
I've been worried about this all week, but have also been working on how I handle stress. I'm getting so much better and I'll feel better today if I get my thoughts out of my head for a bit.

* *I'm worried about how I'll look in my bathing suit:*

Who cares? You'll be in the water. You also found your one piece and that's so much better than being in a bikini right now. You also found some yoga shorts that can pass as board shorts. Even better.

* *The kids I watch over will see that I'm fat*:

Really? You think they can't tell in normal clothes? The only difference now is they'll see your skin. Seriously, get over yourself.

* *The eldest girl is so thin and I'll feel like shit next to her*:

Good. Use it as motivation. She adores you as is. But use this moment to remember whenever you feel like eating.

* *Oh god, I have to eat lunch in front of them in my bathing suit*:

Calm the fuck down. It's sandwich, not a buffet. Pick at the sandwich and hide a few pieces in your towel if you need to. Also, it's a plain PB sandwich. Bread and peanut butter. It's the only thing you'll eat today, so deal with it.

So now some good news:

It's not exactly swimming laps, but swimming burns calories. I also miss being in the water so much. I was a swimmer in high school and college, so it's a part of me.

I'm trying to get my depression medication again. I had some anxiety trying to find a new doctor who speaks English here, but I'm doing it. The medication isn't available in this country for depression, but I'm going to ask for it anyway since it has a history of working.

Usually I work Fridays and Saturdays with Sundays off. As thanks for going to the waterpark, I was just given Friday and Saturday off! That means I can have lunch today and then fast for 3 days! I miss fasting so much and this will make me feel so much better.

That is all for now.

[Rant/Rave] what's the thing you do to bring yourself a sense of certainty?
/u/cactuskey [5'0 | CW: 105lb | GW: 75lb | 26F]
Created: Wed Oct 19 23:23:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58f82o/whats_the_thing_you_do_to_bring_yourself_a_sense/
---
i think control issues are pretty standard here. i tagged it rant/rave because it's mostly a lot of ranty personal bullshit, I'm sorry.

Certainty is very scarce in my life. Without proper medication i can't trust myself to do even the smallest things. as if the decisions are made by someone else, who doesn't care if I get fired or don't shower for a week or can't pay my rent. In the worst phase of my depression/ADHD i felt like two people in one body: the person i was when on my meds, and the self-destructive stranger who controlled my body once the pills wore off at the end of the day. I couldn't tell which one of them was more real.

Even with the kind support I got from this sub (thank you!) i was in a panic a few days ago. i'd failed to reach my monthly weight loss goals and was uncertain of every number I saw on the scale. I felt like i couldn't trust any of my results. how much of it is water? poop? PMS? how much of it is even *REAL*?? it felt horribly familiar. So i abandoned long term goals entirely. I let myself have tunnel vision. I re-calculated my TDEE with [this calculator](http://www.sailrabbit.com/bmr/) since it seemed so detailed. Chose the least forgiving options for my body type and lifestyle. let cold hard math be the guide.

It costs my body 3,747 calories of energy to make my heart beat, my limbs move, my blood pump, and my lungs breathe for 3 days. For every 72 hours that I eat 0 calories, i *will* reduce my body mass by 1 lb. some of it will be from fat and some of it will be protein, but it will be REAL and it won't be water. I don't have any post-meal insulin spikes to lock up my fat stores and I don't get to defy the law of thermodynamics. I can trust it happened. No matter what the scale tells me, this time tomorrow there's 1lb less of me. it makes me feel stable.

3 days equals 1lb. I keep telling myself that. It's a mantra. Like I have at least one thing I can trust will be true, if I can just do it right.

[Rant/Rave] I hate restaurants that give you free chips and salsa :(
/u/thisisalliwant
Created: Wed Oct 19 22:54:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58f46b/i_hate_restaurants_that_give_you_free_chips_and/
---
I hate myself. I finally got to a check point goal weight and i managed to ruin my carefully counted restriction. Not being able to know exactly how many calories are sitting in front of me gives me so much anxiety. The self sabatoge starts to creep in "it's not that much, you can totally eat those chips and be fine" "you have been doing so well you can eat it".

No! No, i can't. I don't want to!

Today my boyfriend and i went out to eat. I only eat once a day and i knew we would be going out. I ordered a chicken salad sans dressing and a beer. It was completely fine until they brought the chips. My will broke. I could feel my hands reaching for the basket. I tried and i tried to not give in. But i failed. Like the fatass i am, i couldn't say no.

I feel so gross. So incredibly disgusting. I was internally furious with the restaurant for having the nerve to hand out these carb/sodium bombs. I am furious with myself for giving in. It added like 300 calories to my dinner!

I did some quick math trying to ease my mind. I overestimated everything too just in case. I came out to 800 cal for the day. I'm so upset and bloated.

I'm happy i didn't go over my tdee, but i feel like i binged on those damn chips.

I'm going to fast for two days and use an enema. I think i may have just restarted my addiction to laxatives.

Tomorrow is a new day. I hope it will be a better one. I hope you all are doing well 💜



[Other] Group chat?
/u/fishysandwich [5'3.5 | 115 | GW: 100 | -30 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 19 22:12:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58ey8r/group_chat/
---
Does anyone have one somewhere? I feel kind of isolated and i need to have some people to talk to.

[Meme/Humor] When Google ads hits you with the truth bomb 😂
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 19 21:54:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58evfq/when_google_ads_hits_you_with_the_truth_bomb/
---
https://i.redd.it/rv6n2d9byjsx.png

[Rant/Rave] [rant] lol grandma came over and caused my binge 🙃
/u/thinkthinlythrowaway
Created: Wed Oct 19 20:15:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58eeb6/rant_lol_grandma_came_over_and_caused_my_binge/
---
My grandma is the one who first got me fixated on my weight. She would constantly but clothes too small for me saying how I should be a certain size and not the size I was. She is probably 100 pounds max and is like 5 foot maybe.

I forgot she was coming. I hadn't eaten anything and she grabbed my face digging into my fat cheeks to comment on my nose ring.

Then my mom made a remark about how she'd get a tattoo if she lost 10 more pounds. And how I shouldn't get a tattoo until later.

I know what she means.
I'm so gross
I hate everything
I planned on having just veggies for dinner and instead binged on chips and queso, cookies, black bean and rice, guacamole and nuts.

Everything is fine 🙃🙃🙃🙃

[Rant/Rave] I'm not alone thanks to you all
/u/wattshername [5'7" | 143 | 22.4 | Not enough | F]
Created: Wed Oct 19 20:03:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58ec30/im_not_alone_thanks_to_you_all/
---
Every time I feel an urge to binge, or hear my stomach growl, I sip my coffee and I remind myself of how many others are right there with me.

When I feel hungry I remind myself that I'm not the first to feel this, it's not going to kill me, and that so many of you are feeling the exact same way I am.

And it inspires me to keep moving forward towards my goal!

Today a guy I was talking to decided to end things. I have a feeling it's because he chose another girl. We weren't mutually exclusive, just in that awkward dating/hooking up limbo. I'm still sad and can't help but to think how much prettier and thinner she must be.

But I'm using that image to help me to keep going. I've allowed myself a glass of wine tonight.

[Rant/Rave] Those amazing comments~
/u/krassota
Created: Wed Oct 19 19:12:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58e2e5/those_amazing_comments/
---
Sometimes I get really shitty comments from friends, like those where they're all "worried."
But tonight! My friend told me that I'm her "weight loss goals." I'm just so so happy and I'm definitely not going to binge while she's here. Even though it's girls wine night, I'm not gonna go over my calorie limit, feeling so so good. Ahhhh.

[Help] I am so bad at fasting :c
/u/radioactiveicedtea [5'3.75"|CW104|18.38|-34|F]
Created: Wed Oct 19 18:31:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58dv37/i_am_so_bad_at_fasting_c/
---
Whenever I don't eat by mid-day I get super nauseated, dizzy, shakey, and irritated. It sucks because I don't want to waste so much time eating and spend so much money on food. More importantly, I am sick of being stuck at this weight. Right now I average about 1000-1100 calories/day which is awful because I only burn about 1300 calories/day. I don't enjoy food at all :c I just eat to cope with stress and to keep myself from feeling so sick.

[Discussion] Wellbutrin & weight loss?
/u/violettevert [5'6" | fat | -10lbs | NB]
Created: Wed Oct 19 18:25:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58du26/wellbutrin_weight_loss/
---
Just got prescribed Wellbutrin (buproprion) and I've heard it can make you less hungry/lose weight? You folks have any experiences?

[Discussion] What are your favorite cute sayings or catchy motivational quotes?
/u/Rinskyronsky
Created: Wed Oct 19 17:46:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58dnak/what_are_your_favorite_cute_sayings_or_catchy/
---
I'll be honest, I'm a total sucker for rhyming ones - *"Skip dinner, wake up thinner!"* is my current favorite. They just stick in my mind better, and are kind of fun to say. What do you guys have in store that are fun, catchy or cute?

[Rant/Rave] Parents just made me eat a huge fucking bowl of spaghetti
/u/throwaway0908123 [5'7 | 120 | 18.73 | -17 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 19 17:19:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58dijn/parents_just_made_me_eat_a_huge_fucking_bowl_of/
---
The entire thing tasted like rubber. I'm definitely gaining after this, and I just reached my goal weight today. I feel so sick right now, god I wish I could throw up. I want to die.

[Rant/Rave] Under plateau! But probably temporary :/
/u/yellowlettuce [5'9" | CW:152 GW:125 | -83lbs ]
Created: Wed Oct 19 15:50:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58d1wb/under_plateau_but_probably_temporary/
---
Literally just weighed myself at 149.6!!!!!
155 was my plateau, but now i'm even under 150??
I'm afraid I might go back up again if I eat or drink something, I mean I probably will go back up again :(
I am now motivated to fast for the rest of the day, but I also don't want to end up binging later tonight and ruining everything.
ugh

[Thinspo] Taylor Momsen appreciation post
/u/ikillsouls [5' 2" | 106 | 19.4 | Ugw: 85 |19f]
Created: Wed Oct 19 15:47:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58d1hn/taylor_momsen_appreciation_post/
---
[because she really is lovely and tiny.](http://imgur.com/a/TXdno)

[Discussion] Weird dream...
/u/rizzle_riz [5'4' | CW:141 | 24.89 | -18 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 19 15:30:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58cyaz/weird_dream/
---
Not sure what to flair this or if this is even allowed, but last night I had a weird dream.

Usually I don't ever remember my dreams but last night I dreamt that I kept getting a bloody nose. I don't remember all the details just that I was around friends/people and my nose would start bleeding so I would go to the bathroom clean it and then it would happen again few minutes later. Anyways I googled it because I'm weird and think dreams can be symbolic, and I quite enjoy reading about them, and the first thing that came up was this:

"If you dream you have a bloody nose, what this might suggest is that you have been too harsh on your body lately. Though your body might not be showing any signs of damage, sometimes these are not necessary to conclude that you have been a little too rough with it. Even though you might not see a cut or a bruise, on the inside your body is feeling abused. This is why you are dreaming of a bloody nose, it is the only way for your body to warn you that you have been mistreating yourself."

Seemed really relevant to real life considering I've been wreaking havoc on my body. Anyways, does anyone else look up their dreams? I always find it interesting to find out what they could mean.

[Help] I feel like I'm addicted to sugar.
/u/smallsmallersmallest [166.5cm | CW 52.0kg GW 44kg | 18.90 | -9kg | F]
Created: Wed Oct 19 15:25:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58cxba/i_feel_like_im_addicted_to_sugar/
---
It genuinely makes up ~90% of what I eat, today all I've eaten is some chocolate, yesterday a buttload of chocolate and a bit of pasta, the day before 200 calories worth of pizza plus chocoalte mints and cake. Pretty much every day is like this, I'll eat loads of sugar and if I eat anything savoury, it's not much. I don't know how to stop doing this, I've tried cutting out sugar entirely but that didn't last long, I've tried just cutting it down but still I end up cracking after not long. Trying to substitute things wouldn't work so well because most natually sweet things, I don't like. I want to stop eating so much sugar, I want to be able to go even a single day without it. It has pretty much no nutritional value, it makes me tired, it makes me bloated, it has soooo many calories, and yet I feel like I can't stop. All of my binges consist of sugary foods too, if it weren't for sugar I probably wouldn't binge as often or as bad. Has anyone got any advice? It's really bringing me down and I don't know what to do anymore. All I can think about is the fact that I would be so much closer to my goal by now if it weren't for this. I can easily restrict other foods and stop eating them when I'm done or full, just not sugar.

[Other] So I'm prematurely breaking my fast tonight on day 9
/u/almightylurker [5'1" | 163.2 | 30.8 | -51.8 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 19 14:40:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58co05/so_im_prematurely_breaking_my_fast_tonight_on_day/
---
I'm kind of disappointed in myself for not going all the way but I'm happy with the progress I made. I'm currently at my mom's and as all Italian woman react when you refuse their food, she got offended. I love my mom and her cooking is awesome so I'm doing it for her (eating only a small amount though bc I don't feel like dying today.) I'm going back home tomorrow and after some proper refeeding, I'm going back to my normal 1,000 calories a day.

Thank you all so much for your kind words and support, I wouldn't have been able to go anywhere near this far without you <3

End of fast weight: 163.2

[Thinspo] I love these Lucky Jeans, they are a size 4
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 19 14:27:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58clcu/i_love_these_lucky_jeans_they_are_a_size_4/
---
https://i.imgur.com/WbRHIak.jpg

[Discussion] Binge nightmares?
/u/thukui [5'3 | 114 | GW 88 | -16 | 20F]
Created: Wed Oct 19 14:10:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58chox/binge_nightmares/
---
(on mobile can't flair sorry)
Does anyone else have nightmares of them binging? I've been fasting for a few days and I keep waking up so stressed out cause I think I ruined my fast until I realize it was just a dream.

[Rant/Rave] I like to think of myself as halfway on the wagon
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 105 | 17.68 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 19 13:39:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58cbel/i_like_to_think_of_myself_as_halfway_on_the_wagon/
---
Rather than completely out of control. I want to binge today and ruin everything. I've been drinking still but I've cut out most food so I've been losing but it's so hard. My stomach feels like murder. A bite of food feels like a binge. I feel terrified that everything has 1000 more calories than listed. I can't trust anything. I thought I could handle it and went to starbucks today and got a PSL. I ordered nonfat no whip but I feel like she probably made it regular. Like just to sabotage me. I'm trying to keep it together after I had half a muffin and 3 bites of soup and 6 cheezits and I call that 900 calories. I don't know. I wish I had a calorie counter machine that literally told me everything about the food instead of living in anxiety. I'm so goddamn hungry. I hate my brain.

[Rant/Rave] 👏🏻 how 👏🏻 am 👏🏻 i 👏🏻 not 👏🏻 losing 👏🏻 weight 👏🏻
/u/Bubbline
Created: Wed Oct 19 13:06:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58c483/how_am_i_not_losing_weight/
---
i seem to have a mysterious chronic illness that's most noticeable symptom is extreme nausea and vomiting. i can't smell any kind of food without feeling sick. i vomit 3-12x a day and it fucking SUCKS. i'm a recovered bulimic but i still struggle with ed thoughts.

i've been eating 0-400 cal a day for about a month now. i can only stomach a couple bites at a time of plain food - rice, applesauce, yogurt, jello, stuff like that. and even that stuff makes me sick 75% of the time.

i can hardly hold food down and that means my pills too. i have to take my psych meds with food and i told my psychiatrist that i'm not absorbing them because i've been really depressed/anxious/dissociating a lot and in so much pain i can't move most days. he told me that if i threw up my meds to fish them out of the vomit and try again.

the point of this post isn't for pity or medical advice, but i really want to know- how the fuck am i not losing weight at such a huge calorie deficit???

every time i go into the doctor (so like...6x/month) my weight is the same +/- 5 lbs. i'm not a waif. i have a LOT of weight to lose so it doesn't make sense. i feel like my doctors don't believe that i'm not eating because i'm not losing weight.

i feel like no one believes how much pain i'm in and i'm just miserable. i had to take a 45 day medical leave from work and i don't think i can go back. i love my job but i can't even drive anymore. i keep getting dizzy and overheated and i faint a lot. i'm always shaky and i have horrible brain fog. i lose my words all the time. its hell...and i'm still fat. i might not be as mad at my illness if it made me lose weight...which mathematically it fucking should.

tl;dr i'm eating 0-400cal a day and not losing weight, WTF is going on



[Rant/Rave] I feel like a bucket of lard. Just ranting...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 19 12:46:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58c04b/i_feel_like_a_bucket_of_lard_just_ranting/
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[deleted]

[Meme/Humor] this is all of us
/u/thelonelykitten_
Created: Wed Oct 19 12:21:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58buwk/this_is_all_of_us/
---
http://imgur.com/OabaB8Z

[Discussion] This has probably been asked and discussed a lot. But any tips on BED?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 19 12:05:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58brhm/this_has_probably_been_asked_and_discussed_a_lot/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] What is your hobby?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 19 11:58:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58bq0s/what_is_your_hobby/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] getting 'oversensitive' about food
/u/archerofdawn [154cm | CW 157 | GW 88 | -7 | NB]
Created: Wed Oct 19 11:47:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58bnza/getting_oversensitive_about_food/
---
vague self harm tw

I've been fasting until 6pm recently and today was no exception, except my parents made me try some of the dinner stuff they were planning since we're having guests over. I took a minimal amount and left some for my parents (since my dad was trying it too so I figured they'd eat it) except my mom comes up to my room and makes me eat it like literally putting it against my mouth

and then I can't help but tell her that I didn't want to eat it because I was pissed and I think I hurt her. She told me that she thought I would have liked to eat it (I wish I could translate this properly but it had a nuance of 'I was thinking of you', 'I wanted to make you happy' and 'I'm sorry') and now I'm going to be late for class because I'm crying and hurting myself because my mom doesn't need any of that she was just being nice lmao l ma o I can't fucking believe myself I'm in better control all the other times and I hate this!! I hate being on edge about food like this!!! fuck me haha

eta: I apologized and things are okay (I told her I was really stressed and not hungry, which were true), I think I just have to be more dissembling when it comes to food. I don't want them to worry and I feel bad

[Discussion] Desktop Background Thread!
/u/Alexa1p [5'5'' | 110 | 18 | -10.7 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 19 11:24:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58bivn/desktop_background_thread/
---
I'm trying to find lovely, thinspo backgrounds for my mac. If anyone has a link to something with a nice resolution, and is also big enough to size nicely to a computer screen (I have the MacBook Air, so my screen is tinier than most), please drop your submission here. <3

Thanks, all.

[Rant/Rave] Listen to your body
/u/Weazin_the_Ju-uice
Created: Wed Oct 19 10:57:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58bd5p/listen_to_your_body/
---
[removed]

[Goal] From fat-> to borderline ed-> now (2000 cals a day)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 19 10:44:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58baic/from_fat_to_borderline_ed_now_2000_cals_a_day/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/fa18d73fa30c4560bb069e37b1f95a11?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=20e5ef46b9fd8123a49d58885e07d2c8

[Rant/Rave] On my lunch break
/u/hh_lb
Created: Wed Oct 19 10:26:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58b6sl/on_my_lunch_break/
---
I'm with my coworker and we go into a gas station to get cigarettes and I get two Powerade zeros. We leave and she pulls through Wendy's to get three Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers. Powers that be.... please help me.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 19, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Oct 19 10:02:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58b21o/daily_food_diary_october_19_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 19, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Other] last week's grocery haul
/u/ppyeoreul-mudgosipeo [5'6 | 2 Days w/o Binge | BMI 26.9 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 19 09:45:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58ayj9/last_weeks_grocery_haul/
---
http://i.imgur.com/kTEG8fs.jpg

[Other] Beautiful illustrations of mental illness and disorders (#11: AN, but every single one is worth a look)
/u/Skinnytw [5'6 | 110 |17.8| F]
Created: Wed Oct 19 09:30:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58avko/beautiful_illustrations_of_mental_illness_and/
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http://www.boredpanda.com/for-inktober-i-focused-on-mental-illness-and-disorders/

[Goal] I ate my big trigger food without B/P
/u/H2OandCaffeine [5ft7 | FAT | -20 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Oct 19 08:51:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58ao3b/i_ate_my_big_trigger_food_without_bp/
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I had a reasonable amount and didn't purge. I'm so happy about this. :D

[Other] Today is a good day!
/u/little-paws
Created: Wed Oct 19 08:42:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58amb4/today_is_a_good_day/
---
http://imgur.com/yC9OZuG

[Rant/Rave] I don't know what to do
/u/borrow_our_light [5'7| 146 | 24 | -17lbs | F | GW 115]
Created: Wed Oct 19 08:18:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58ahtq/i_dont_know_what_to_do/
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Recently I have been living on my own (without my girlfriend staying for more than one night a week) which has allowed me to restrict and fast more. But recently my girlfriend has been picking up on a few of my habits. Today she texted me and told me to send her a picture of everything I eat today. She said she noticed that I didn't eat anything yesterday and she just wants to make sure I don't pass out today. I don't know what to do with this situation, I love her but she cannot control what I do and don't eat

[Other] Ended my fast early
/u/DenyMyHunger [5'7"| Fat! | UGW:112| F]
Created: Wed Oct 19 08:18:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58ahss/ended_my_fast_early/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] (What) do you eat (for) breakfast?
/u/heyhiohhello [5'6"/f/21 | UGW 51.8 [18.0]]
Created: Wed Oct 19 07:51:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58ad3s/what_do_you_eat_for_breakfast/
---
I usually do not eat breakfast, because breakfast food is all carbs and usually sugar, AND I'm afraid that food that I eat earlier in the day might barrel me over my limit if I unintentionally cave and eat lunch or some bullshit - but it's the only time of the day (other than at night.. when I am afraid of absorbing fats as I sleep :< ) that I can eat without my SOs housemates seeing me eat (of which I have anxiety about bc I dont want them to think I'm a freeloader by using the stove or touching their cutlery, idk..) - but I fasted all day yesterday and my brain was grumpy so I ate a piece of bread. 60 calories?
and then I started freaking out, of course 8-)
So I was just wondering, as a person who hates breakfast, what have you adopted as a safe breakfast? Do you only eat breakfast like I only eat dinner? What's your breakfast plan look like? What is your breakfast calorie limit? Do you skip breakfast? Isn't the work break-fast kinda neat? :)

[Discussion] A healthier approach to dealing with cravings
/u/wittywaif [5'6" | whale | -85 | f]
Created: Wed Oct 19 07:47:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58acgv/a_healthier_approach_to_dealing_with_cravings/
---
mods, i'm not sure how appropriate this is so feel free to remove the post if it breaks the rules, in no way am i offering tips or tricks but i would like to have more informed discussions here on the sub. i know a lot of us here restrict, binge, purge and are on generally unhealthy cyclical patterns when it comes to food. to me this sub is integral for harm reduction so i figured i would post a summary of an interesting study i read about cravings and appropriate coping mechanisms on how to deal with them. if you'd like to read the article yourself on pubmed [here is the link!](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17544361)

there are two common approaches when it comes to dealing with cravings. the first is a **control based strategy**, in this method you hide away any highly addictive or hyper palatable food to avoid cravings, think: out of sight out of mind. this can also be achieved by trying to distract yourself during a craving (like an activity) or by following a routine / more structured eating plan. the caveat of this method is that sometimes it can have a reverse psychology like effect, "do not push this button" tempts you into pushing the button and the same goes for food.

the second is an **acceptance based strategy** which doesn't aim to block or reduce the impulse, craving or thought but rather to actively accept the fact that you have limited control over your thoughts and feelings, keeping this in mind while promoting goal oriented behaviours. this could be exemplified through meditation, mindful eating, self-narration (or stepping back known better as diffusion) and essentially taking a step back, acknowledging the feeling and simply letting it pass. this is similar to the technique outlined in [brain over binge](http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/12359062-brain-over-binge) a popular book that i really recommend if you like learning about eating disorders, particularly bulimia but i think it really goes over compulsive behaviours well.

*mini version of the study for those interested:* students were given clear containers of chocolates and asked specifically not to eat them, whilst keeping them on their person around the clock for the next two days. any time the students had a craving they were to record that incident. the students were grouped into three categories

* no intervention (just told to go do their own thing).

* another group was given counselling on a control based approach (how to distract themselves when a craving would arise)

* the third group was given counselling on the acceptance based strategy (being told to experience the craving, no point in avoiding it) and were given the mnemonic **DAWN** meaning: distancing, acceptance, willingness and noticing to understand this strategy better.

what the researchers noticed (and why i am writing this post) is that one approach (a control based vs an acceptance based) was not inherently better. but certain approaches worked better for certain people (measured using a power of food scale).

subjects who were more susceptible to food cravings, in general are more sensitive to what is available to them tended to do better with the acceptance based approach. people who didn't get cravings as often or perhaps weren't that sensitive to their food environment tended to do better with a control based approach.

**tl;dr** eating disorders are complicated and by no means does one study map perfectly onto every individual. many people track their food meticulously which is a form of a control based strategy, and i think this may potentially exacerbate the issue of cravings. control and acceptance based strategies are both useful when dealing with cravings in a healthy way, and those more sensitive to their food environment / prone to cravings may fare better with an acceptance based strategy or at least a hybrid combination of the two.

this was just a one off on an interesting paper i read, i am not a scientist or a doctor, but i do like reading scientific articles. so let me know if you'd like to see these occasionally or just keep it as a one off. :)

[Rant/Rave] I know I can't lift well fasted. My routine has moves that I'm not great with form on and need to be focused. Here I am going to lift fasted anyway.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [Adipose Industries]
Created: Wed Oct 19 07:08:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58a5z1/i_know_i_cant_lift_well_fasted_my_routine_has/
---
Sub 200kcal the last two days, made up of diet coke and 10kcal worth of sugar free jelly each day, besides some cooked mushrooms Monday night. It's probably less than that because I didn't drink quite that much diet coke.. I just stick 100kcal on my calorie logs straight out to account for my diet coke addiction, as I know it will always be less than that and I'd rather overestimate.

If I eat some oats before going, I will lift alright and probably be safe enough while doing it. My body seems very sensitive to eating now, one small meal seems to be the difference between being able to focus fine and not.

But I'm not hungry, and I don't want to eat, so I probably wont. My feel woozy, my head hurts, I have stars infront of my eyes already.. but I am not hungry and don't want ot eat.

But I need to go to the gym, as I get a new routine on Friday and still have one session of this one left to do. I wont have my PT watching over me though, so I'm considering going in, grabbing my sheet, and lying on it. Filling it in the same as last session, where I did okay, but then in reality lightening everything up and doing different exercises I am more confident with so I will be safe..

But that's lying to my PT. That's 'not eating' becoming more important than my lifting. That's hindering progress..

The fact that 'not eating' is becoming more important than even my lifting and my honesty with my PT, who is doing his best to see me progress and taken a special interest in me off his own back, scares me.

I still probably wont eat.

*A funny: When I wrote 'hindering' in that post just then, I first typoed it as 'hungering'. Lol.*

[Discussion] What are your grocery staples and/or recent grocery finds?
/u/xtinytoadx [5'4" | 78 | 13.65 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 19 07:07:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58a5tn/what_are_your_grocery_staples_andor_recent/
---
Going grocery shopping today so just trying to get some new ideas. ^_^

I always get chicken tenderloins, bagged salad, coffee creamer, fiber and protein bars, and occasionally Halo Top (mint chip and lemon are my favorites).
I've been making breakfast burritos with flat wraps from Aldis which are only about 90 cal per wrap.
Recently I found No Cow bars which are basically vegan quest bars at GNC, but they are much too expensive and I tend to binge on them. T_T I requested Wink vegan icecream and the Now Cow bars at my local Whole Foods so we'll see if they stock them in a few weeks!

[Rant/Rave] (Rant) Those out-of-control moments :(
/u/rbracket [5'2" | CW 99.4lbs | GW 99lbs | BMI 18.83 | M]
Created: Wed Oct 19 06:39:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58a1d6/rant_those_outofcontrol_moments/
---
On mobile; can't flair. Sorry!

I went to the shop today planning on buying just coffee for a fast and came away with £10 worth of food that I've just binged and purged - and I didn't have £10 to spare this week. :( Doesn't sound like much but I don't have much to my name. Goodbye savings, literally flushed down the toilet - and to think a tenner used to buy me food for at least two weeks.

Maybe tomorrow can be a fresh start. I'm sick of obsessing over what I put into my body. Paring it down to water, electrolytes, and the odd coffee seems so simple to do but when bingemode kicks in it's like I'm watching myself through a TV screen. I know how damaging it is but I just can't stop myself.

Oh well. I'm hovering somewhere around 101lbs at the minute, hopefully I'll still hit 99 by Monday assuming I don't sabotage myself again. C'est la vie.

[Tip] I'd like some tips
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 19 06:30:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58a01a/id_like_some_tips/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Way To Go Wednesday October 19, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Oct 19 06:03:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/589w4z/way_to_go_wednesday_october_19_2016/
---

This is the weekly achievement thread for October 19, 2016.

This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!

*****

Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Discussion] Minimising anxiety about eating?
/u/RockinWeasel
Created: Wed Oct 19 05:44:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/589toi/minimising_anxiety_about_eating/
---
Am I alone in the all consuming panic/ dread whenever you know you will have to eat due to company?

I had a work lunch today and ate some veggies and a banana, avoiding the calorie-laden sandwiches and crisps. Now tonight I have a friend coming over. I will be expected to eat. This is sending me into a total panic. I have already eaten enough for the day, and I am going to have to eat. If I didn't eat something at work people would think it was weird too.

I know logically if I make a salad and grill chicken I'll still be under 500 calories today and it will be fine, but I am still freaking out. Anyone else deal with this? Anyone have any tips for coping with it?

Edit: in the end I cooked a chicken breast and made a small salad. I cut up the chicken then ignored it and ate some of the spinach leaves and cherry tomatoes. My downfall was a small glass of red wine, but it was worth the calories. Still ended the day under 400 calories hurray.

[Help] Would fasting interfere with wound healing?
/u/aaren0 [5'5 | shisno]
Created: Wed Oct 19 04:48:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/589mvc/would_fasting_interfere_with_wound_healing/
---
(tw for self harm and shit; I am dumb)

So uh yeah, I may have *accidentally* acquired a few large lacerations - on my leg, chest, and arms - over the course of this past week... They haven't received medical attention but they're healing well so far and I take good care of them.

So er, was just wonderin if anyone from this community'd have any information about this? Would fasting slow the healing process or make infection more likely (or result in my sudden inexplicable demise or some shit like that)?

Sorry for this post. Will delete if I get complaints. :(

[Discussion] Does restricting ease your anxiety?
/u/little-paws
Created: Wed Oct 19 03:29:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/589efy/does_restricting_ease_your_anxiety/
---
I've been feeling really anxious for the past few weeks - constantly on the verge of tears etc. because of the amount of university work I have.

Yesterday, I was cycling home from the gym and I started feeling anxious about how much work I had to do. But then, I just thought 'hey, but it's okay - you've only had 200 calories today'... and I felt better. I didn't feel anxious, I felt totally in control.

Does anyone else get this?

[Discussion] Does anyone else do this!!!???
/u/reallynuggie
Created: Wed Oct 19 02:31:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5898v4/does_anyone_else_do_this/
---
If I find myself craving, I always watch those Tasty videos on Facebook or find a tasty food compilation and just watch people make yummy food! Does anyone else do this? It helps me not binge so much.



[Goal] I felt powerful for the first time
/u/Please445leave
Created: Wed Oct 19 01:13:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5891a3/i_felt_powerful_for_the_first_time/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] What's your favourite 'goal' body part?
/u/savetheexplosion [5'2 | fat | Female]
Created: Wed Oct 19 00:55:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/588z9n/whats_your_favourite_goal_body_part/
---
Probably phrased wrong.. basically, what's your favourite body part to look at for thinspo, what do you want to be perfect on you the most?

For me, it's collarbones. I am constantly putting my hands up to make sure they're prominent. Whenever I look up thinspo it's always collarbones or at least a picture where collarbones are showing.

Just curious what you guys like the look of the best. :)

[Rant/Rave] how do i get willpower?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 19 00:27:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/588w8c/how_do_i_get_willpower/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] Being diabetic
/u/wanskie [5'5 | cw: 135 | bmi: 22.5 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 19 00:07:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/588u06/being_diabetic/
---
I'm so sick of being diabetic, before being diagnosed I was able to do fairly long fasts but now I can't even go 6 hours without feeling like I'm about to pass out. I'm gaining so much weight from my insulin and feel so disgusting all the time

I live in Canada and it's already super cold here. I tried to go out and buy a winter jacket the other day and everything just looked so ugly and big on me. I wish I was never diagnosed so I didn't have to be dependent on insulin (。•́︿•̀。)

[Help] Will I still be/on my way to ketosis if I have a cup of broth during a fast?
/u/chocolatecoveredpugs [5'4| 118| 20.6 | -22lbs | F]
Created: Tue Oct 18 23:43:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/588r4t/will_i_still_beon_my_way_to_ketosis_if_i_have_a/
---
Sorry on mobile, can't flair.

So I am on hour 50 of a fast and previously only had water and Diet Coke. I was feeling really dizzy after working out and didn't have any Powerade Zero or any low-cal electrolytic drinks at home except for broth. It's 5 calories for a cube but will that stop me from being in ketosis/on my way to ketosis?



[Discussion] DAE Have Sleep Issues?
/u/ForeverEmptyInside [5'9"| CW:115 lbs | BMI 17 | LW:104lbs | M]
Created: Tue Oct 18 23:10:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/588n4h/dae_have_sleep_issues/
---
Does anybody on this sub have sleep issues?

Usually, I don't have any issues with my sleep. However, when you throw my eating disorder into the mix I find that my sleep issues go through the roof. When I am restricting I sleep wayyy too much because I am constantly tired. When I am fasting (especially for long periods of time) I can't sleep AT ALL. Like right now I am about 8.5 days into my fast and It's currently 1am and I am not tired. A couple days ago I went 36 hours without sleep. This is a problem as it's interfering with my university work.

thoughts?

Aarrrgghhh
/u/miffedmeow
Created: Tue Oct 18 22:39:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/588j5u/aarrrgghhh/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] I keep telling myself I can stop whenever I want. But I don't think I can.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 18 22:13:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/588fl3/i_keep_telling_myself_i_can_stop_whenever_i_want/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] i haven't been looking at this sub as much
/u/hayleystark [5'4"|NB]
Created: Tue Oct 18 21:49:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/588c22/i_havent_been_looking_at_this_sub_as_much/
---
i'd like to say it's because i may be getting out of my "restricting" phase of my ED (it comes and goes in cycles, has for years) but according to the scale at work (i work in a vet office so i always check my weight there since the scales are calibrated once a month) i've been losing weight pretty steadily. i guess i'm just getting more depressed, but i'm glad finding this sub has worked. :)

[Discussion] After Dinner/Late Night Snack?
/u/concuidado [4'11 | 83 lbs | 17.8 | -62| F]
Created: Tue Oct 18 21:46:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/588bms/after_dinnerlate_night_snack/
---
What do you guys eat for an after dinner snack? I usually have some light popcorn, fat free hot chocolate, or halo top but these are becoming boring and too expensive. Do you guys have any idea for some good snacks that relatively low cal (under 100)?

[Goal] I finally threw out my chocolate hoard!
/u/Casablanca_Insomnia [5'3 | TOO MUCH | -21 | GW: 87 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 18 20:50:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5882yb/i_finally_threw_out_my_chocolate_hoard/
---
As some of you may remember, I have a issue with hording junk. As of today the shitty food collection no longer exists! Not out of fear of binging but out of a new dedication to my goal. Food will no longer rule me and I will no longer waste money on stuff to torture myself with.

Weird thing to be so proud of but I figured maybe one person here would understand :)

[Discussion] What's more gross: rinsing the mayo from potato salad or the fact they added so much mayo to begin with?
/u/CowOffTheFarm [65" | 145 | 24.41 | - | F | GW 120]
Created: Tue Oct 18 20:33:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5880bx/whats_more_gross_rinsing_the_mayo_from_potato/
---
It actually tasted better afterwards, but I don't really care for mayo anyway.

McAllister's if you were wondering. The serving has 220 calories, but I think the rinse got it under 100. Hopefully...

[Rant/Rave] Satan take the wheel!
/u/dirtandherbs [Height 5'2 | CW 102 | BMI 18.02 | Female]
Created: Tue Oct 18 20:27:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/587zb8/satan_take_the_wheel/
---
I am proud of myself in that delusional, fucked-up, i-have-an-eating-disorder kind of way. The past three days I've kept under my 500 goal. I have relapsed completely. I can tell I'm thinner already. I'm elated and dizzy. It feels like I've sold my soul to the devil. I can't wait to get back down to my double-digits... back to my comfortable 90 lbs. I am finally starting to feel like I'm in control. I cleverly avoided eating any pizza when my coworkers bought some for work today. I love pizza! Pizza is my ultimate weakness. It was like the test of will power I needed... an affirmation of my self control. I feel better about myself than I have in months.

[Discussion] Do you have a number of calories that you consider a "binge"?
/u/yellowlettuce [5'9" | CW:152 GW:125 | -83lbs ]
Created: Tue Oct 18 20:13:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/587wzd/do_you_have_a_number_of_calories_that_you/
---
Is there any defining number you have? Or just anything that puts you over your number?

I told my friend about one of my (typical) binges, and she told me that it "wasn't a binge." But binges totally exist along a continuum. One person with an ED may binge and consume literally thousands of calories, whereas another person with an ED may binge and consume much, much less. Consuming less calories during a binge does not invalidate the emotional distress a person often experiences following a binge.

So then that brings me to my confusing question (do i even have a question?):
Typically during a binge, do you tend to consume <300cal? Is it different each time? Do you tend to binge at night?

Any other discussion regarding the subject is encouraged!!!!


[Discussion] Pavlok?
/u/get-it_together [5'3 |160??| UGW 125 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 18 19:59:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/587un3/pavlok/
---
I saw it on this dumbass buzzfeed article I was reading after a binge. It's made by some people off shark tank and it's like a little shock collar that attaches to your wrist that shocks you when you start to do a bad habit. I had to share because I don't know how to feel about it lmfao

[Discussion] How do you feel about your hips?
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 127.4 | 18.5/18.8 | -19.6 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 18 18:55:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/587jol/how_do_you_feel_about_your_hips/
---
I am "triangle shaped" I.e. I have broader shoulders. I actually like the size of my hips - I wish my shoulders and especially my rib cage were smaller, though. Yes, if my hips were wider, I'd have a more feminine frame. But then I'd be wider. Idk. I feel weird about my hips. I know they are narrow compared to the rest of me, but I'd rather the rest of me shrink than my hips widen.

[Rant/Rave] Thanks, lifesum. I know I just binged. I appreciate your input. 😷😷🖕
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 18 18:55:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/587jjt/thanks_lifesum_i_know_i_just_binged_i_appreciate/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/dcef5938559b4a68978a4a9dc21509cd?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=4f24928c9c8011265297cc8f4b5f12f9

[Rant/Rave] 425 calories
/u/procoyo [5'6" | 190lb | GW:140lb | -5lb | F]
Created: Tue Oct 18 18:51:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/587iyp/425_calories/
---
This is not how I wanted to spend my first official day of attempting, sitting here and feeling like a fuck up for what I've eaten. It didn't seem like much, at the time. I had carefully selected what I would have, even rewarding myself with 160 calories of ground turkey. I was sad that I might miss Taco Tuesday, so I had 4oz as well as 9 blue corn chips and a literal pinch of cheese. But as 5pm came closer, which is my cut off time, I got so nervous that I might become weaker later tonight that I caved in. I pushed myself over 400 and I feel like shit for it. It's definitely going to be a moment I think back on in the future, when I either want to eat more than allotted or just feel snacky. I don't want to feel like this anymore. The semblance of control I thought I had feels ripped away from my hands. I had counted those calories so perfectly, and then I did that... I'm beyond miserable.

I resolve to be better tomorrow. I resolve to not break my own limits anymore. I will lose +50lbs.

Honestly, I don't know what my goal is. I know I wasn't happy even when I was at my thinnest, 140lbs. I think it's because I knew I was not taking control like I should have. I failed in my discipline. I know I'm stronger than this.

I'm going to an exercise class tonight. I'm going to work my ass off as hard as I can to make up for this failure.


Edit: Just got home from class. Turns out that you can lose between 290-400 calories in the beginner class, and that made me feel so much better. I'm only listing 250 on MFP, though.

[Goal] DAE weight themselves before and after a BM?
/u/Edible_pain [5 foot 6 in| 133 | -over 100lbs| F]
Created: Tue Oct 18 18:33:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/587fyl/dae_weight_themselves_before_and_after_a_bm/
---
I dont always do this, but I sometimes weigh myself before and after a BM to see the weight difference.

[Rant/Rave] DAE look at overweight people in their outfits and think "how can they be so confident?"
/u/pinotblanc [5'3 | GW:115 | 23.2 | -23 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 18 18:12:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/587c6x/dae_look_at_overweight_people_in_their_outfits/
---
I always see people on my facebook and celebrities who advocate positive body images and I think how much prettier they would look if they were thinner.

Then I get envious of how confident they are at any body weight and in any outfit and I'm sad that I'll never be confident in my body. At 150 or at 98 pounds I know I'll never be satisfied. I'll always be disgusted by my naked body, uncomfortable in any outfit, and ashamed.

This stems from seeing a celebrity in a skimpy outfit today that didn't leave much to the imagination. Meanwhile, I'm over here and I can't even wear a tank top.

:/

[Help] I've barely eaten today and and I can't sleep
/u/little-paws
Created: Tue Oct 18 18:07:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/587bb0/ive_barely_eaten_today_and_and_i_cant_sleep/
---
I've had about 150 calories of soup today.

It's now 2am and I'm lying awake in bed and I can't sleep. I have to go to the gym in 6 hours. How awful will I feel in the morning?

[Other] Bombed a test, not passing the class, and am still up 2lbs from my last binge, so I'm spending my last few hundred calories today on vodka
/u/onlyroom_forthin [5'6 | CW:149.6 | 24.24 | SW:165 | UGW:120 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 18 17:26:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5874bd/bombed_a_test_not_passing_the_class_and_am_still/
---
:D :D :D :D I'm a failure :D :D :D :D

[Rant/Rave] Binge binge binge (rant)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 18 17:21:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5873dj/binge_binge_binge_rant/
---
[deleted]

[Other] i cant poop.
/u/Edible_pain [5 foot 6 in| 133 | -over 100lbs| F]
Created: Tue Oct 18 16:04:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/586ow3/i_cant_poop/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] My grocery store thinspo, I feel like you might read this.
/u/thinfetish
Created: Tue Oct 18 14:25:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5864q5/my_grocery_store_thinspo_i_feel_like_you_might/
---
Last night I was at Kroger picking up a few things for dinner and we ran into each other in the produce section. You were loading up on veggies and you stopped me in my tracks. I sat there pretending to look at a potato, but I was literally in awe of your collar bones peaking out the top of your over-sized sweat shirt. Your shorts were tiny but at least two sizes too big for your legs. I was inspired by your strength and your perfection. I realized you were, like me, carefully calculating every item added to your cart. I could tell that you shared my special anxiety, in that moment. I left feeling inspired to be stronger. If you read this, thank you.

[Intro] Lurker to Poster
/u/possiblycurious [5'5"| 142|GW 125| -8lbs| F]
Created: Tue Oct 18 14:25:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5864mv/lurker_to_poster/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] what are some low cal candies?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 18 13:55:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/585ydp/what_are_some_low_cal_candies/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] Thought I was going to implode last night, worst panic attack yet
/u/epasternack [5'7" | CW 127 | GW 120 | BMI 19.9 | -33lbs | 22 F]
Created: Tue Oct 18 13:04:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/585ndv/thought_i_was_going_to_implode_last_night_worst/
---
I ate dinner (1 serving quinoa + whole box of mushrooms wow only like 180 calories!) and then my stomach started hurting. And then it started getting worse. And my gut started hurting. And I started getting cramps. And then I lay down but couldn't get up. And I started getting a dry mouth and nausea. And then uncontrollable crying. I thought I was going to die right there on the spot. My heart rate was SO HIGH. I had no idea what to do. Eventually I calmed down but I think my anxiety is getting worse and worse as time goes on. And then I ate toast and cheese :( so yet another day of restricting failed.

Seems like I'm failing at everything these days! What fun. Literally no idea what to do with my life. I have 13 more lbs to go until I reach my goal and honestly I am not even sure I am going to like what I see when I get there. I think I might be dissatisfied and I might still have love handles. No idea.

Sorry for the rant. Had to get it out.

[Discussion] When & How did your ED start?
/u/dontcareifithurts__ [5'4.5 | 117 | - 4.2 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 18 11:12:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/584zjh/when_how_did_your_ed_start/
---
Sorry to those of you who are long standing members and have seen posts like this before, but I'm new and I'm curious as to how everyone got to where they are today.

Also sorry for no flair, I'm always on mobile and my phone is too full to download any new apps. :/

The disordered thoughts started when I was about 12 but I didn't take action until I was about 14. A few distinct things stand out in my mind that triggered it.

1. I gained about 10 pounds between grade 8 and 9, and I didn't like it because I had always been really skinny and everyone kept commenting on my "womanly" figure and it was so awkward.

2. I discovered calories

3. I had very few friends and didn't get along with my mom and my parents are divorced & remarried and I have those "daddy issues" you hear about, basically I felt like I had no parental figures that cared about me. Starting high school sucked because nobody liked me and I got bullied a lot. Then my best friend stopped being friends with me for an entire year (then realized he was stupid and we became besties again)

4. I was depressed and self-harming and my parents laughed it off as a phase and didn't get me the help I needed

5. I got really sick for about 2 weeks and lost 5 pounds. That was all I needed to kick start my weight loss and then I lost 15 more pounds over the next 2 months until I hit 98 and my teachers all started getting concerned and contacting my parents and my extended family was concerned (but again my parents didn't care) and I went to the hospital for a bunch of little things until I finally learned to hide my ED and wear bulkier clothes and more makeup so I didn't look like I was dying anymore.

6. What solidified it and prevented recovery was that my mom praised my thinness constantly. Always. She always told everyone in the family how great I looked and she even measured my waist and arms in comparison to my brothers (who was 5 at the time this happened) and thought it was so hilarious that we were practically the same size. Anytime I gained weight she mentioned it and pointed it out.

There's obviously details left out and way more to the story but that's the gist.

TL/DR: Tell me when & why your eating disorder started. Mine started at 14 because my mom's a bitch & teenagers are bitches & I was sad and kind of a bitch & nobody took me seriously. The end.

[Help] cheecha puffs in toronto?
/u/archerofdawn [154cm | CW 157 | GW 88 | -7 | NB]
Created: Tue Oct 18 11:09:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/584yzg/cheecha_puffs_in_toronto/
---
I've been to two places that had them according to the website (booster juice in north american centre and sunlong organic market) and found nothing ;; has anyone managed to buy these in a ttc-able location?

eta in case someone else in the future has a similar question: after contacting cheecha puffs, they told me about a few locations and the bed/bath/beyond right by college station was the only one i could get to without a car. but they had the ketchup flavour and the three cheeses flavour and !!!! three cheeses!!! was so good omg

[Goal] Currently on hour 20/48 of my first ever fast!
/u/DenyMyHunger [5'7"| Fat! | UGW:112| F]
Created: Tue Oct 18 10:45:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/584tue/currently_on_hour_2048_of_my_first_ever_fast/
---
I know a lot of people here fast often and it's not a big deal but I'm really proud of myself! Coffee, water and Monster zero are really curbing my rumbly tumbly 😂

Going for 48 hours as it's my first time.

Wish me luck! <3

[Help] my sugardaddy just invited me to an opera in an hour and a half, but I'm 114 hours into a 120 hour water-only fast!!!
/u/UnrequitedOrgasms [19F | 5'6 | CW:129 | -31 | GW: 105]
Created: Tue Oct 18 10:38:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/584scj/my_sugardaddy_just_invited_me_to_an_opera_in_an/
---
You can bet your ass I'm not breaking it with so little to go! he normally gets me awesome cocktails and will definitely wonder why I'm just getting water- this fast doesn't involve anything other than water so I'm stuck. He's asked why I'm getting just water/soft drinks before. He was a fucking vag doctor so I'm worried about making up an illness/blaming it on my period lol, and he knows me so he knows I'll drink any time of the month (or day...)

I'm hoping to get through the show with just water but at the end I'll still have two and a half hours to go- I'm hoping he'll just drop me off at mine after and I can pick up some juice to break my fast like planned, but I really really really will be so fucked up if I break my fast just hours before I'm supposed to.

Does anyone have any advice for how to not seem suspicious? I could joke about being pregnant cause I know he'd definitely laugh but he wouldn't accept it

[Rant/Rave] struggling
/u/lllbt
Created: Tue Oct 18 10:24:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/584pe9/struggling/
---
The past three days have been pretty bad in terms of overeating. I also haven't compensated for eating so much (purging/exercising) so I'm feeling even more horrible and out of control. On top of that I've been drinking too much booze and I feel like my antidepressants aren't working anymore.

Not really sure how to get back on track. Taking a day off from college and trying to reorganize my messy brain.

I think I'm just going to try and get back to my normal routine of eating 1000 cals a day because if I fast I might risk just binging later or whatever.
For those struggling with depression/ed/drug abuse, keep your head up, we can get through this

[Intro] What's up team!
/u/chickpeaceandlove [168cm | 58.5kg | 20.7 | -4kg | 23F]
Created: Tue Oct 18 10:12:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/584mzw/whats_up_team/
---
Heyaaa

Today I finally decided to make another account to join the community! I've been on reddit for almost 5 years now, lurking here for a few months or so, decided to join the conversation as my binge/restriction cycles really have been going crazy this past year.

I have a fairly long history of disordered eating, never really got any help specifically for these habits though I've been to psychiatrists and prescribed antidepressants previously.

Anyway, just wanted to say hi and give a bit of an introduction! I'm aiming to be fairly active, largely because I don't have anyone in the real world that understands the whole thing, probably the same case as with everyone here.

*I was wondering if I should have put the stats in my flair in imperial units but I assume everyone here is the same as me and can convert in their head the more-or-less equivalent hahaa.*

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 18, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Oct 18 10:02:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/584ktk/daily_food_diary_october_18_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 18, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Rant/Rave] Day 2 of fasting is going so well I might extend it [rave]
/u/disbeetch [5'3'' | 140 | 23.7 | -34 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 18 09:45:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/584h8o/day_2_of_fasting_is_going_so_well_i_might_extend/
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I posted before about my pre-beach trip binge. I'm leaving Thursday and might try to not eat anything until I get to the beach! This is my first long fast and I'm so proud of myself for being in control- it feels like I can do anything!!!

[Other] Body check 10/18 121.lbs
/u/frailraven [5'10 | CW 117 | LW 115 | F20]
Created: Tue Oct 18 09:17:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/584bz8/body_check_1018_121lbs/
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http://i.imgur.com/E5jFdIN.jpg

[Discussion] I see discussion about thinspo music a lot, but anyone know songs about eating disorders that aren't thinspo? Here's my favorite.
/u/superfuckingsecret [5'10" | 113.8 | 16. 06| non-binary]
Created: Tue Oct 18 09:15:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/584bfp/i_see_discussion_about_thinspo_music_a_lot_but/
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"Cream of my compulsion rising to the tip of the spout

Screaming and convulsing, now I'm gonna spit it out

An amorphous monster makes his home inside my house

Even now, stretched out on the couch

Waiting for the midnight hour until he gets loud


Yes, my body is some prison--why else keep it filled with poison?

No reason to celebrate, forget the milkshakes, Mom--it will take

More than a spoonful of sugar for me to swallow my pride this time

I decide what goes inside

I decide what goes inside my body

One more time, I decide

I decide what goes inside

I decide what goes inside my body"




from My Eating Disorder by Titus Andronicus




Body check 10/18 121.6 lbs
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 18 08:55:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5847i1/body_check_1018_1216_lbs/
---
http://i.imgur.com/Mvck602.jpg

[Goal] I thought I'd feel different ...
/u/stellaclaire [5' 10" | CW:140 | 19.58 | -90 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 18 08:37:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58449w/i_thought_id_feel_different/
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I just bought my first size 0 outfit. It fits perfectly. I used to be too fat for the Walmart size 18. (yeah, I know vanity sizing, but Walmart vanity sizes like crazy too).

I ... thought I'd feel ... smaller.

[Goal] I'm almost halfway there.
/u/tinybites [5'6" | F | sw: 185 | cw: 153 | gw: 115]
Created: Tue Oct 18 08:12:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/583zkg/im_almost_halfway_there/
---
[removed]

[Meme/Humor] Is Being a Skeleton For Halloween a Little Too on the Nose?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 18 08:07:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/583yo4/is_being_a_skeleton_for_halloween_a_little_too_on/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Is anyone else's whole day basically decided by breakfast time?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 18 07:16:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/583pq1/is_anyone_elses_whole_day_basically_decided_by/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] [rant] my boyfriend noticed I stopped eating lol
/u/thinkthinlythrowaway
Created: Tue Oct 18 07:06:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/583o1h/rant_my_boyfriend_noticed_i_stopped_eating_lol/
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It's not really a lol moment but it is ironically funny. I used to wish for someone as caring as him and now I almost resent it.
I love him, I love that he cares and I don't ever want him to give up on me. I know you should want to get better for you but honestly I won't want to until I'm at a BMI of 16 and it's being dangerous for me. And that's a long way since I'm 5'0 so technically I'd still be healthy at 100 (which is where he thinks my goal is).
He asked me yesterday what was wrong with rice. I didn't even realize I'd stopped eating it but apparently the last 5 times we had rice I only got a plate of veggies. He had this sad smile when I said I didn't even notice.
I'm crazy. I'm wallowing in self pity. I'm stupid. I'm starving myself with no budge of the stupid scale although I'm pretty sure the batteries are dying and I want a new one anyways cause that one is like 10 years old.
😂😅 this is fine


[Rant/Rave] Freaking out overwater bloat
/u/melcatx
Created: Tue Oct 18 06:46:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/583kjn/freaking_out_overwater_bloat/
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I started really seriously restricting a week ago and put firm girls in place, and have worked out a lot more than usual. I want to be 113 lb by Halloween, and this is a VERY obtainable goal for me.

I started eating a lot of soup this weekend, since its low cal, completely forgetting sodium was a thing. Guys, I have never really had an issue with retaining water before, but omg. I stepped on the scale and was in actual SHOCK, I just want to cry thinking about it! Plus, I feel a bit bloated since I am getting my period tomorrow.

To top it all off, (tmi alert), I usually poop every single morning, and now I have been going like once every 3 days and its driving me insane. I need to get out of this slump, I feel bigger than I have felt in seriously a year!!!!

I am getting a diuretic later today and also taking an EC stack. Please keep me in your thoughts haha, I cannot handle this.

[Discussion] Self-care and Beauty Q+A October 18, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Oct 18 06:02:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/583dqs/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_october_18_2016/
---

Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

*****

Self-care and beauty threads are posted every Tuesday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Rant/Rave] sometimes I hate my ed so much :(
/u/feelingpeakyy [5'3 | 95lbs | 16.7 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 18 04:06:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/583004/sometimes_i_hate_my_ed_so_much/
---
Mobile so cant flair...
On a school trip, im fasting and the entire bus bought kfc. I would give pretty much anything to be eating right now and I feel sad and hungry :(
Lowest weight since last hospitalization today. I hope ill feel better soon.

[Rant/Rave] I feel so uncomfortable in my own body
/u/lightfeathers [5'4" | CW 112 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 18 02:34:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/582qzo/i_feel_so_uncomfortable_in_my_own_body/
---
I feel like I'm stuck in a fat suit and there's no way out.

[Rant/Rave] It's my birthday and because of that I'm miserable.
/u/shorty_pie [5'5.5" | 153.0 | 25.27 | -10| F]
Created: Tue Oct 18 01:45:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/582mc6/its_my_birthday_and_because_of_that_im_miserable/
---
So it's my birthday today. Right now I'm trying to restrict to at least under 1000 a day, averaging about 650. I love my family and I'm so grateful for everything they do today, but the process of celebrating my birthday this year just makes me want to cry.

I'm being pressured to pick out a restaurant to go to dinner to this weekend, and I can't bring myself to choose anything. I thought that would be the only day that I had to worry, but just now I had a scary thought and ran down to check the freezer. Yup. They've bought a cake. Not just any cake, but I cake that I stupidly proclaimed was *my absolutely favourite* back when I was in a binging stage. A cake that's fucking *450 calories per slice*.

It's just past midnight, and I've felt horrible all day. I was looking forward to having a nice slice of toast for breakfast because I'm so fucking hungry. But now I have to save all my calories for dinner and still hope that I'll stay within my limit. I just want to cry and give up and die. My family is going to be laughing and wanting me to have a good time and giving me presents and I'll just be sitting there with a smile plastered on my face trying not to explode.

I just don't know what to do anymore.

[Other] HW to CW pics + small frustration rant
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 18 01:32:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/582l21/hw_to_cw_pics_small_frustration_rant/
---
[deleted]

[Help] I don't know where else to go (tw)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 18 01:07:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/582ift/i_dont_know_where_else_to_go_tw/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] I cook and clean and try to be perfect for my bf so he won't suspect anything
/u/overcastforever
Created: Tue Oct 18 00:53:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/582gw0/i_cook_and_clean_and_try_to_be_perfect_for_my_bf/
---
My BF and I live together. Luckily I work from home and he goes into work. This gives me plenty of alone time to restrict and indulge in all of my weird eating habits.

I also cook up a storm, look up delicious recipes on pinterest, go out and buy ingredients and make a really nice dinner for him to come home to. I don't eat any of it and lie that I ate some before he came home. I busy myself cleaning the dishes and tidying up so he can't question further. Basically I feel like I lie so much about my real eating habits. I try to look like a huge foodie to others and be really into cooking even though I don't eat much at all... sigh.

If he found out, I don't know how I could deal. He is the type to get super concerned and then become fixated on making sure I'm not starving myself. Anyways, since no one knows about my ED, I thought I could share here.

[Help] Going to join a gym so I can run - does anyone lift?
/u/onlyroom_forthin [5'6 | CW:149.6 | 24.24 | SW:165 | UGW:120 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 18 00:06:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/582boc/going_to_join_a_gym_so_i_can_run_does_anyone_lift/
---
I live in a really unsafe neighborhood, and I feel like I could really ramp up my weight loss if I could run again, but I'm too afraid to go outside (bad traffic, occasional gunshots, don't want to get mugged). So I decided I'd really like to join a gym and at least run a few miles on a track/treadmill, but I want to do everything I can to lose.

Do you guys lift at all? Or do bodyweight? I don't want to bulk up at ALL, I just want to look lean and toned. I feel like I can't ask on /r/fitness or similar because they scoff at anyone who uses the word tone :(

Also...any opinions at eating back exercise calories? I used to all the time, but I feel like it made me feel justified in eating more because I exercised. So now I don't, but on low calorie days I either don't have the energy to work out, or I feel ravenous after.

Thank you friends!

[Discussion] UGW rewards?
/u/RetailSlaveNo1 [5'2 | CW 164.8 | GW 95 | 31.22]
Created: Mon Oct 17 22:44:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5821cr/ugw_rewards/
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Reaching my UGW is a huge reward in itself but I'm going on a road trip if I reach it by summer, as a reward. Do you guys have one?

Also, sorry if I post here I a lot. You guys are just so amazing and it's nice to talk about it for once! 💖💕

[Rant/Rave] Fasting was easier when I was younger
/u/Wildrumpus273172
Created: Mon Oct 17 22:12:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/581wt6/fasting_was_easier_when_i_was_younger/
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I still love the feeling of it but I'm 24 now and it was soooo much easier physically when I was like 20, and when I was a teenager.

But I completed my 24 hour fast, and just had a piece of toast. I might start another 24 hour fast tomorrow but it'll depend on what the scale says tomorrow.

[Rant/Rave] I always fucking binge right before I sleep
/u/imperfectcontrol [5'6" | CW: 115 | 18.56 | CGW: 100 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 17 21:46:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/581szr/i_always_fucking_binge_right_before_i_sleep/
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On mobile so can't flair, sorry.

I hate that literally an hour before bed I'll binge and ruin an entire perfect day. I don't know why I always give in, always, nearly without fail, I end up eating. Just once, I want to be able to sleep on an empty stomach.

[Rant/Rave] going home to see family...
/u/hopelessly--hopeful [5'4" | puts whales to shame| -20 | F| 22]
Created: Mon Oct 17 21:22:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/581paa/going_home_to_see_family/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] People starting to ask questions
/u/erilaz- [5'7 | CW: 185 | GW: 110 | -45lbs | F]
Created: Mon Oct 17 20:17:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/581es6/people_starting_to_ask_questions/
---
On mobile so I can't flair D:

But I'm very upset right now. I've been restricting for a while now(since May) I'm seven ish pounds away from getting into my high school jeans. Everything should be awesome.

I'm doing so well and was even fasting a couple of days. But today my dad asked me what I had eaten/what I planned to eat today. And I lied and said I'd get lunch at work, but he commented how my soup for dinner is low cal and I needed to bring snacks to work. He even packed them for me :(

I'm overweight, I thought the questions and concern would be way down the line. It won't be hard to lie as I am at work a lot. But it's just frustrating that I have to be more careful around my family.

And I have off tomorrow and have to find something to do so I'm not home with my dad ughhhhhh

[Rant/Rave] I'm restarting... again ( another one of my dumb rants)
/u/radioactiveicedtea [5'3.75"|CW104|18.38|-34|F]
Created: Mon Oct 17 20:10:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/581dmm/im_restarting_again_another_one_of_my_dumb_rants/
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I have lost count how many times I have told myself that I'll get my shit together. This is fricken ridiculous!!! I just want to gain some control and stop giving in to every single damn temptation. I am on mobile now so I am not sure what my flair is but I am 102 pounds at the moment. I just want to get below 100 (like 97 pounds or so) and maintain, but I've been stuck at this weight forever! I hate it so much and I'm terrified I'll get fat :c I should probably start posting here more often, as opposed to ranting on here every now and then. Ugh why am I so weak??? I eat food when I am not even hungry and 90% of the time its not even good food so like wtfff???? Ok rant over

[Rant/Rave] When its payday and your family wants to go out to eat
/u/K_iwi
Created: Mon Oct 17 20:05:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/581cpj/when_its_payday_and_your_family_wants_to_go_out/
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And then they ask where you want to eat :)

and you don't know a place :)

But they make you pick :)))

And you say barbecue :))

*and they butter the buns for some reason* :)))

And you don't eat it all and they rag on you :)

and its not even the place you *wanted* so you wasted *everything* for *nothing*

And you want to purge :)

But you spend the next 4 hours walking around :))))

I :) love :) paydays :))))

[Rant/Rave] Everything is crap
/u/Bad_idea_babe [5'7"| 189.8| 29.7| -14|F]
Created: Mon Oct 17 19:44:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58193x/everything_is_crap/
---
This doesn't really have anything to do with eating but it kind of ties into the whole I hate myself thing. I got eyelash extensions tonight and they look awful. Completely horrible. I don't even want to go anywhere. I had to go to Target right after I got them done and I was almost in tears the entire time because I didn't want anyone to see me. I just wanted to look pretty and nice for my husband's birthday and the family photos we have. But I can't even do that I feel like I'm this horrible fat ugly troll who should just go live under a bridge


http://imgur.com/a/2HJZH

This looks bad right? I'm worried that since I suck at everything I'm just overreacting.


*Edit* 5 have fallen out already. They're in a tiny pile on my makeup kit. I haven't binged though, which is huge. Usually any negative emotion ends in one.

[Rant/Rave] When the pain of binging prevents you from falling asleep
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 120lbs | 20.60 | GW 115 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 17 19:06:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5812ju/when_the_pain_of_binging_prevents_you_from/
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I'm so lethargic from binging. But the food-up-to-my-throat, heartburn, acid reflux has me so physically uncomfortable that I can't lay in any way that comforts me enough to drift off. I also can't spend this awake time productively because my stomach is throbbing and face feels hot from the binge. I can't do anything but be uncomfortable.

It's like being trapped halfway between sleep and awake discomfort. It is hell.

I have to remember this feeling. I always say that. Tomorrow is a new day.

[Rant/Rave] I just need to know it's ok [rant]
/u/yikes_dot_com [5'6 | 111 | 17.9 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 17 18:55:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5810kq/i_just_need_to_know_its_ok_rant/
---
my college has this entire week off so on friday I took a train to the town where my best friend from home goes to school and I'm staying with him until tomorrow morning. in that time I've eaten probably more food than I have in the past month combined. I feel horrible, out-of-control, this bingeing has depleted me of money and sanity and any sort of self-esteem. I found a scale in his bathroom this morning and weighed myself at 125.4 pounds (that was with shoes on so I *know* that that+water weight means it's not accurate but still) and I feel so disgusting and bloated, the bloating actually woke me up in the middle of the night last night, I have a distended abdomen like some sort of monster and was gonna skip dinner tonight but fucking caved. this is just so awful and I was doing so well--I was miserable, weak, lonely, isolated, depressed, a shadow of my former self, but I was 114 pounds and losing.

tomorrow I'm going back to my parents' house for the rest of the week and I know I'm not gonna regain any sort of control while I'm there especially because I sent them pictures from this weekend and they both commented on how thin I am so I think they're starting to get worried. my mom told me she would take me to whole foods tomorrow and get me anything I wanted, I think she's really concerned, my parents are so loving and don't deserve a fuckup eating disordered child like me, I don't even know where this is going I just feel so awful and bloated like a balloon and absolutely and completely disgusted with myself for falling so far off track and idk could just use some support I guess

[Rant/Rave] Why am I like this..
/u/NaejNire [5'9'' | 146 | 21.17 | -16]
Created: Mon Oct 17 18:45:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/580yvx/why_am_i_like_this/
---
I restrict during the day, but have awful late night binges. So I tried to eat more calories during the day, and I STILL binge around this hour. Why can't I stop doing this to myself?

[Rant/Rave] I want to be a machine.
/u/TinyTinyCleverCDR [156 cm | 50.8 kg | 21.73 | -7.7 kg | F]
Created: Mon Oct 17 18:40:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/580xxq/i_want_to_be_a_machine/
---
Unfeeling. Sleek. Using exactly the resources I need and no more; input and output mapped out precisely, with no room for question. I'm sick of blood and emotions and flesh. I want to stop feeling.


Sometimes it happens out of nowhere. I'll enter a random daze, and suddenly nothing really matters-- I exist in a vacuum, completely separated from everyone else in the world. I float by with only the sensation of the rain reminding me that any of this is real. But if there's nothing to tether me in place, I just close my eyes and... disappear. No thoughts. No feelings. Down for maintenance.


I can't quite do it on command, but running almost does the trick. Once the rhythm gets going, there's nothing left inside. I'm just two feet hitting the pavement and nothing else. I wish I never had to stop, that I could just run and run until everything inside me burns out and my body breaks down forever.

[Help] Need advice!
/u/throwaway37493
Created: Mon Oct 17 18:30:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/580w9x/need_advice/
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Okay so tomorrow im going to a concert and I'm wearing a pretty tight top so I don't want to eat tomorrow before I go. But we're drinking before the concert. I don't drink much so I feel like it's a really bad idea for me to drink on an empty stomach, but I don't want to eat and get bloated. What should I do???

On mobile can't flair sorry!

[Rant/Rave] I'm so angry!
/u/dudeswallow
Created: Mon Oct 17 18:21:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/580uso/im_so_angry/
---
I get weak. Eat. Still weak! And full! And the healthier the food the worse it is! C'mon!

[Rant/Rave] I hate my body so much that I don't even feel like a real human being, just a disgusting, misshapen mistake
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 17 17:43:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/580od3/i_hate_my_body_so_much_that_i_dont_even_feel_like/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] "You burn more calories when you're cold" - Thoughts? Discussion? Facts?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [Adipose Industries]
Created: Mon Oct 17 16:10:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58072z/you_burn_more_calories_when_youre_cold_thoughts/
---
Okay, so I've been doing a bit of reading on this, mostly to see if there are any plus sides to the UK getting SO FREAKING COLD RIGHT NAO OMG.

I am not the worlds best learner. Here is what I *think* I've learned, very vaguely. I would like to see what peoples thoughts are, and whether anyone knows more on the subject/sciencey stuff/better explanations or corrections:

* There seems to be a difference between being cold 'inside' the body, and being cold 'outside' the body. Being cold 'on the inside' (feeling cold easily even in warmer weathers, feeling deep down cold rather than on your skin) means your metabolism is slightly sluggish (and therefore you are burning fewer calories). *However*, feeling cold because of being in a *cold environment*, feeling the cold on your skin because it is genuinely cold outside, is different - your body will actually burn *marginally* more calories in an attempt to warm you up.

* Shivering burns quite a lot of calories compared to just 'being cold'(but is also unpleasant). However, you would burn more calories exercising in that cold weather to warm up, rather than staying still and letting yourself shiver (and tbh that's more pleasant!). You burn more calories exercising in cold temperatures vs mild temperatures. There are benefits to not wrapping up to much to go for a winter run, for instance!

* And the most interesting to me - Being in a cold environment encourages 'white fat' to turn into 'brown fat', which is a healthy fat. It is also metabolically active, meaning it contributes more to calorie burn, and specifically the burning of (white) fat stores. It's function is (apparently) mainly to warm the body.

So to me, it's sounding like there is at least some benefit to me freezing my fucking butt off right now - considering I can't control the fact that I am anyway! The heating is too expensive to have on all night *~cries~*.

Anyone know more on this subject? Anything more specific or interesting? Factoids? Especially more on the brown fat thing!



[Meme/Humor] Me, waking up this morning after a three day binge 😭
/u/morose_adipose [5'2 | 90 lbs | 17.05 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 17 16:09:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5806xh/me_waking_up_this_morning_after_a_three_day_binge/
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https://i.redd.it/kr8lec3sy3sx.jpg

[Thinspo] Thinspo pics are great, but does anyone have any thinspo music??
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 17 15:40:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/58016q/thinspo_pics_are_great_but_does_anyone_have_any/
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[deleted]

[Goal] Body check 10/17 123 lbs
/u/frailraven [5'10 | CW 117 | LW 115 | F20]
Created: Mon Oct 17 15:39:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5800y3/body_check_1017_123_lbs/
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http://i.imgur.com/hKdiCA8.jpg

[Discussion] Does anybody else use their ED as a control mechanism?
/u/tallskinnywannabe8
Created: Mon Oct 17 15:15:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57zwc9/does_anybody_else_use_their_ed_as_a_control/
---
I feel like I don't always have control of the people and events around me but my body and the food I eat are the one thing I can control. I know I'm definitely a control freak so it would make sense.

[Help] I'm not normal and I don't know why
/u/little-paws
Created: Mon Oct 17 15:04:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57zu0t/im_not_normal_and_i_dont_know_why/
---
I'm feeling so awful. I went to the store and I bought a giant bag of doritos, a pack of cookies and a pack of marshmallows and I've just eaten them all.

God I can't stand myself, why do I do this? I just want to be thin and pretty and be able to be like normal people.

I'm cooking broccoli soup which is all that I will eat tomorrow and I will go to the gym twice. Fine, but it won't make me normal.

Just needing some support or something, I don't know.

[Rant/Rave] jeeeeeeeeez
/u/ikillsouls [5' 2" | 106 | 19.4 | Ugw: 85 |19f]
Created: Mon Oct 17 14:36:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57zoef/jeeeeeeeeez/
---
Im typing this post because I need to make some sort of noise, ya dont even have to read it honestly. This boy asked me if he could join me to study and i said yes, unfortunately we are in the "quiet" level of the library. I have not eaten all day and i am trying my hardest to suppress my ugly stomach noises. I am pressing the keys ver hard. Typing at just the right moments when I feel my stomach is about to make a sound. help.

edit. He left, i feel partially responsible for not talking to him all that much :(



[Rant/Rave] Rant/help me: Overwhelmed grocery shopping
/u/iuile
Created: Mon Oct 17 14:35:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57zo74/ranthelp_me_overwhelmed_grocery_shopping/
---
On mobile; can't flair. I order my groceries to be delivered, and every week it's an ordeal, adding stuff to the order, then removing it, trying to be healthy, trying to be low cal or low carb. Anyone have healthful ideas? I have spinach, avocados, and salmon so far that I feel okay about. I just want to eat perfectly, and when that turns out to be impossible, I just don't eat or I eat junk. I'm joining a gym soon, so I'll probably quit keto and eat carbs for energy, but they all just seem so high cal for no nutrition.

[Rant/Rave] I hate my boyfriend
/u/cry1000x [5'4" | 148.2 lbs | 25.4 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 17 13:24:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57z9or/i_hate_my_boyfriend/
---
* 3 months into relationship: "Boobs like yours don't look good without a bra on. Put a bra on."

* 8 months into relationship (I was a virgin prior to meeting him): "I need to have a threesome." "I need to sleep with other people" Literally killed teenage virgin me's ego as I gave him sex *whenever* he wanted it even if it was painful. He made me act out threesome scenarios with people we knew IRL but we never actually did it thank Jesus. It would have actually destroyed me.

* 2 years into relationship (both of our weights have fluctuated by 20 lbs[me] 30 lbs[him]): "You need to come to the gym with me more. I expect you to be as skinny as other girls in *name of our city*"

* 3 years into relationship (I have developed hormonal acne entering my early 20's): "Your acne looks like a disease on your face. Try sauna-ing everyday. It will go away."

I've had multiple plastic surgery procedures, on my breasts and face, am a gym-obsessed, restrict, and spend a good amount of my monthly budget on acne medication. Around last year I made multiple photo albums of all my nudes. Like really creative, artistic, well-lit/filtered nudes. I named the albums cute names like "Spank Bank" I would send him nudes basically whenever I showered or was just getting home from the gym. I finally had a body he approved of.

I've been working so much lately but he still gets sex once a day minimum even if it's painful. Even if I'm exhausted. He gives me an orgasm once a month if I'm *lucky.*

Last night I came home and saw a fresh container of lube next to his computer. My heart sank.

Ya, porn is "normal" right? Given our extensive history of him criticizing my body and comparing me to other women when he had **full knowledge** I've had eating disorders since before puberty, I just can't accept him watching porn. I give him everything and he still wants to touch his junk to other women.

I get full Brazillian waxes for him every 4 weeks. Not enough. I spend up to 2 hours on hair + makeup. Not enough. I starve most day of the week. Not enough. I wear very revealing and fitted clothing around him. Not enough.

I self-harmed for the first time every this morning. We were up since 5 arguing. I have a huge lump on my head from hitting myself with the remote so hard. Today is off to an awful start. I'm about to go take it out at the gym.

[Rant/Rave] I've been doing pretty well aside from a weekend slip-up
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 17 12:48:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57z27a/ive_been_doing_pretty_well_aside_from_a_weekend/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] There's no place else for me to share this.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 17 12:43:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57z171/theres_no_place_else_for_me_to_share_this/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] sooyoung
/u/wearebulletproof [5'4 | fat | 20F🎀✨]
Created: Mon Oct 17 12:35:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57yzhl/sooyoung/
---
http://imgur.com/a/dA1b4

[Tip] After a year of loosing control on restricting+exercise, i finally got off my lazy ass and did something about it. Best decision ever, 10/10 would completely recommend
/u/runningboyruns [5'9 | 130lbs | BMI: 19.2 | WEIGHT LOST: unmeasured | FtM (pre T)]
Created: Mon Oct 17 12:21:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57ywju/after_a_year_of_loosing_control_on/
---
Long time lurker; first time poster. I'm going to skip a personal introduction.

I've struggled with EDs ever since i hit puberty. About a year ago i "recovered" (ie. stopped counting calories/stopped over-exercising). Since then, I've gained probably 5-10 lbs. (i don't have a scale so i can't be 100% sure) and the whole time the weight gain was happening, i never stopped beating myself up over it. I became so unmotivated that i pretty much just laid in bed all day, only getting up to grab a snack or watch my little brother. As many of you already know, laying in bed and snacking all day is practically guaranteed to make you feel lethargic.

Well, today i restricted all morning, got off my lazy self-hating ass, put on my workout clothes, hopped on a bike, and rode for 4 straight miles. It was the *BEST FEELING EVER*. The runner's high is insane; i hardly feel sore, i'm not hungry... hell, i'm not even thirsty! I'm still feeling it almost an hour after i hopped off my bike. I feel as though the fat is melting off of me (which i know is stupid but that's really what it feels like and it's *so motivating*). I cannot stress just how beneficial this feeling is.

So pretty much; if you're feeling unmotivated, lazy, lethargic, ect., get off your lazy ass and get your heart rate up. Do something that'll make your muscles sore :-)

[Goal] Body check 10/17 123lbs
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 17 12:02:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57yssy/body_check_1017_123lbs/
---
http://i.imgur.com/o78OUMu.jpg

[Discussion] bouillon recipes?!
/u/melcatx
Created: Mon Oct 17 11:58:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57yrxu/bouillon_recipes/
---
Hey friends. I am going to buy some bouillon today and I was wondering how do you all prepare it? I was thinking of adding some cooked carrots. How do you like it prepared?!

[Meme/Humor] ClickHole gave me a hearty chuckle this morning
/u/Eyes_Couldnt_Lie
Created: Mon Oct 17 11:28:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57ylle/clickhole_gave_me_a_hearty_chuckle_this_morning/
---
http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/when-i-stopped-hating-my-body-i-could-finally-see--3096

[PSA] Reminders: This is not a diet/motivation sub. Please read all side bar rules before posting.
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | massive | F]
Created: Mon Oct 17 11:17:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57yj8j/psa_reminders_this_is_not_a_dietmotivation_sub/
---
As we grow and gain new members, this is something that needs to be periodically discussed.

Eating disorders are sadly misunderstood in our society. Media often portrays them as the young teenage girl that wants the perfect magazine cover body, so she skips lunch or purges it in the school bathroom, continuing happily with her day. But the reality is far more complex, oftentimes dark, and serious than that image allows.

Eating disorders ARE mental illnesses, plain and simple, and they can affect all ages and genders. If you haven't already, please take a moment to check out the [proED wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/faq) and familiarize yourself with the different types of eating disorders.

We understand that some of you here may not identify as having an ED in any of it's various forms, and that's okay. We invite you to read and gain some understanding of what it's like to exist with this mental illness. We welcome you to be supportive, and we expect you to respect our rules. What we do not welcome, however, is treating this sub as a dieting and weightloss sub. We are not a source of inspiration. We are not a "get thin quick" route to your dream body. **If you read even a few of the posts here, you will see that eating disorders are often not about weight at all, but about control, self-worth, compulsion, or any other number of factors.**

There are many subs out there that can help non-disordered people make healthy choices and plans to meet their weight loss goals (and if our minds were healthy, we would be there too!). Please check the side bar for links to those subreddits. Remember, THIS IS NOT ONE OF THEM! **Asking for dieting tips or asking how to become disordered is not allowed, and will result in the removal of your posts and comments.**

For those of you here who DO have an ED, please also familiarize yourself with the subreddit [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/rules). Commenting on other members' weights, food, or health will result in a warning or ban. We are here to support each other, not to tear each other down or compete in any way. It may be frustrating to see users who do not understand the serious nature of EDs, but asserting that anyone is not "severe" enough or suffering enough is NOT okay either. As always, please report any posts that make you feel uncomfortable.

Again, we welcome your presence among us, disordered or not. Your awareness helps to destigmatize our illness and that's a powerful thing! But please don't fall prey to the simplified and often glamorized media portrayal of eating disorders. This is not something anyone should strive for, not something anyone should want. It is painful, both physically and mentally. It is lonely and isolating. It makes you feel powerless. We can not help you achieve what you think is perfection, because for us, nothing will EVER be perfect.

**TL;DR: This is not a diet/motivation sub. No one but your doctor can tell you if you have an eating disorder or not. If you do not experience disordered eating, and you are here to lose weight fast, this is not the sub for you.**

[Discussion] Progress pics from "anorexic to healthy weight".
/u/gastastic [5'1 | 118.4 | 26F]
Created: Mon Oct 17 11:12:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57yi2o/progress_pics_from_anorexic_to_healthy_weight/
---
Confession time. Any time I see these posts, I wind up loving their before photos. On more than one occasion, taking screenshots as inspo. 😕

[Discussion] Back to Day 1 on bingeing, Day 2 on alcohol
/u/ppyeoreul-mudgosipeo [5'6 | 2 Days w/o Binge | BMI 26.9 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 17 10:04:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57y3t3/back_to_day_1_on_bingeing_day_2_on_alcohol/
---
But! This is a reminder to myself and to anyone else struggling with food binges *and* alcohol binges-- it's hard. Of course it's hard. *Everything worth doing is hard.* But time inches inexorably forward, and with each hour that passes with no alcohol and no uncontrollable face-stuffing, we have succeeded. Small successes will add up to bigger ones.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 17, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Oct 17 10:03:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57y3m3/daily_food_diary_october_17_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 17, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Rant/Rave] I hate myself no matter what.
/u/life-as-a-loon [5'3"|104|18.9|F]
Created: Mon Oct 17 09:52:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57y1gv/i_hate_myself_no_matter_what/
---
edit: I am a daily visitor and semi-regular poster to this sub for some time now. I decided to finally make an account for this sub to separate it from my regular account.

Last week I decided to take care of myself. To eat twice a day. To have cheese with my wine. To eat things that taste good. To only weigh myself every couple days. I told myself that restricting is only adding unnecessary stress to my life. My hair was/is thinning and falling out. My ex-but-not-really-boyfriend kept making me get on the scale and trying to feed me if I was under 100 lbs. So humiliating.

Fuck it. Let's put this dark part of my life behind me and be "normal." What is normal? I tried to enjoy food. It tasted good. But not really. My heart was beating so fast and I kept chugging water after every meal and taking laxatives because I felt so disgusting. I usually only take laxatives once in a while when I'm restricting and can't go. Going to the bathroom regularly felt gross. I don't like having all of that matter inside of me. I feel gross. I gained 2.5 lbs over the last week.

When I looked in the mirror during that week, I could tell that I looked healthier in the face. I didn't look like I was dying. But I hated the way I looked. My clothes were a little tighter because of all the carbs I ate. Because of the creamer I put in my coffee. Fuck you, French Vanilla. I felt hungry between meals because my stomach was filling up and emptying out. Disgusting. I am a pig.

So here I am, sitting at work drinking black coffee and water. It feels great to not eat. I won't waste my money making myself look uglier than I already do. I have more energy. I won't crash after stuffing my face with carbs and fat. I know that no matter how much weight I lose I will hate myself more and more. I won't eat because I hate myself, which makes my hate myself more. I also realize that I will hate myself when I eat, too. I think I hate myself more when I eat, though. Fuck it, I hate myself no matter what.

[Intro] Not sexually attractive to my husband
/u/procoyo [5'6" | 190lb | GW:140lb | -5lb | F]
Created: Mon Oct 17 09:27:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57xwnh/not_sexually_attractive_to_my_husband/
---
I'm fat. I'm just going to get this out there right away. I'm not anywhere near being gloriously thin, though I once was close. I was 140lbs in college, and at 5' 6" that was the thinnest I'd ever been. That was five years ago. I used to take pictures of myself all the time. I found all these photos in my email from 2011, where I was just in underwear. I was so close to my goal, but I don't know what happened. I guess life got in the way. Maybe I overcame my ED somehow. I don't know.

Well, five years changes a person. And so do anxiety and depression meds. Maybe even my IUD. I've been struggling with depression for years now, and I keep moving and switching doctors, and the doctors always shake my med regiment up. I was steady at 160lbs for a while, after taking up an extensive exercise routine and halving my meals. But in this past year, something changed. I blew up to 195lbs. I didn't think there was a problem, until my sex life changed. My husband became more and more distant sexually, rejecting my advances and never initiating.

During an argument, he finally told me that he refused to have sex with me because my stomach stuck out past my breasts. He told me, "I don't find you sexually attractive anymore. I like petite girls. I always have." He also revealed that he was masturbating to a photo of me from 2011, the year I was my thinnest.

As you can imagine, there's so much that came back. It was like I had recovered from my ED only to have it all open back up, wider than before. It's happening right now. I went back through my email and found all those photos, where my stomach was so flat, when I fit into those tiny, sexy jeans I gave away years ago. I can't even look at myself in the mirror. I'm filled with self loathing. I wear baggy shirts to hide my body, which I'm discussing with my therapist, but I've only been going to her for 4 weeks now so we haven't really touched on much except that yeah, I feel this way, and it sucks.

I signed up for exercise classes, which is what I did in college. I was weight training and kickboxing every day, back then. I think if I can get back to something similar, I can find that happiness again. I think I can love my body again, and not be literally ashamed to look in the mirror. I feel like covering up the bottom half, and honestly might do that. I want to take pictures and be proud of myself.

I don't know what the point of this post was. I guess I just didn't see anything similar, and I was hoping I could find some kindred spirits, or at least some support. Thanks for your time reading this.

*****
Edit:
Sorry, this gets long. Short story: He's cheated on me before and now secretly (so he thinks) seeking divorce advice.

I just realized I never mentioned, he's military. And he completely changed attitudes after boot camp.

He's lying behind my back right now. Someone mentioned cheating, which very well be another thing he's capable of. He's done it before. We were polyamorous for a few months and we had a mutual girlfriend. I wasn't really into it, I wasn't really interested, and only did it because he was so eager to do it despite the fact that I thought I was giving him everything at home. We were about 1,000 miles apart at the time for his schooling, and I was a very giving wife. Very giving. He promised me it was just going to be casual sex, that she would never be elevated to my level as a wife. But then he did that. We had a fight, they had a fight, and she broke up with him (she was also long distance). It's a long story what happened next, but he did chase her another 1000 miles. Since he made me feel like I had been the cause of the break up, I offered to drive 22 hours as penitence, without help and without sleep. His attempt didn't work and only led to me feeling worse about everything.

I was about 160lbs at the time, which I was comfortable with... but she was tall and thin. She was his favorite word: petite. Over 6', thigh gap, bikini bridge, an ex-model... I was nothing in comparison to her. I still feel worthless in comparison.

Well, he began to realize how manipulative she had always been, yet still blamed me for the break up (when it was his controlling behavior that made her leave in the first place). He swore he never wanted anything to do with her ever again, that he was done. And I was relieved. He assured me the relationship was over and he wanted nothing to do with her.

Until she showed up on our doorstep several months later. She had left a bunch of stuff with us, and she didn't give us any warning. They went out to the garage to get her things and talk. And it took a very long time. I would go out from time to time, to see the door was down. When I would knock, he would lift it about a foot and talk to me through the gap. I did this maybe four times. He assured me they were just coming to peace with their relationship and finding closure.

Days later, she texts me and tells me they had sex in the garage. This she did while she was married (yeah, that happened FAST) to a guy who was NOT into polyamory and did not like my husband at all. He felt cheated on. And so did I. When I addressed him about it, he said he didn't realize polyamory was off the table anymore. He couldn't understand how or why I was upset, or why his solemn vow to be done with her was so important to me. And although he has since apologized, claiming he didn't realize he was hurting me by doing that, I still feel cheated on. Another thing my therapist agrees with me on.

Well. Now we cut to today. I've been getting neglected by him for about a year now. I can count on one hand the times we've had sex since he said those hurtful words, and it was just sex. Not love making. Just him going until he was satisfied. I've been sending him e-mails, as he's on a boat and we can't call each other. I began to address these issues with him, along with some others. He ignored every single instance in my emails wherein I brought up a concern. In my last email to him, I finally added an 8-point bullet list of concerns I wanted him to address. That was two days ago. I haven't heard anything back from him.

Except... that I have access to his personal email accounts. Not the one on the ship, though. And I have them because he gets bills sent to them, so I have to check to make sure we're on top of the payments. I guess he forgot that, because he made a throwaway account here on Reddit in a sub for a mental health disorder that doesn't apply to me. He claims I've got this specific issue, but my therapist has refuted that extensively. But anyway, he went to a specialized subreddit for it... and he wrote a title asking for advice on getting a divorce in the military.

All this because I was furious that he wouldn't address my concerns in an email. He went so far as to say that he should have left me a year into our relationship, but he was "young and dumb." He told them he doesn't know why I'm mad at him. What's even worse is that there was a domestic incident of violence, which he admitted to only his best friend, but had assured me long ago that said friend would never tell even under oath because "blue protects blue." He's telling these people in this forum that I'm making an "accusation," as though it never happened, and it's so upsetting how he could lie about that.

He said to these strangers he wants me out of his life and he doesn't want to support me anymore. Meanwhile, I fit NONE of the symptoms for the mental health disorder he claims I have. And like I said, my therapist says I do not have it.

What's even worse is how these people, these strangers, are replying all these horrific things to him. How I'm going to try to fuck one of his friends, how he deserves better and should kick me aside to find someone else, or cut me off financially and change all the passwords. If I don't have the passwords, I can't pay the bills. But it's not fair! I'm not that person, I am not that disorder! These people don't know me and they don't know the full story, and it tears me apart that he would do this to me.

My only friend here in this duty station is another military wife, whose husband is also on the same ship. While I was numb this morning and explaining everything with disbelief, she informed me that her husband was unhappy with him for his behavior. Those two and a third guy went to a bar, and my friend's husband eventually left because he claimed he couldn't stand to watch the other two drooling over the girls there.

I just don't know what to believe now. I certainly didn't believe he was capable of this... I'm so shocked.

I am going to pretend I don't know anything about his throwaway account. This way, I can at least know what to expect from him. He hasn't replied to anyone in the thread yet. I don't know what he's planning. I don't even know where to begin. I'm unemployed, I've been a stay at home wife for over a year now, and we have never had a savings thanks to him and his spending. I have exactly $110 hidden away, but that won't do shit for me.

So yeah. My friend took me out for coffee this morning, because even though I was numb and not feeling any emotions, my body was shaking badly. And that's all I plan to have today. Water and tea the rest of the day. I can't stomach anything else.

And you know... I had lost 4.5lbs since my first weigh in two days ago. I was so proud. Now I feel nothing. What's the fucking use.


All I can think back to now is when my shitty cheating mother divorced my poor giving father. He just meekly said to me, "I didn't think I was that bad. Was I?"

[Discussion] Is anyone else here a fan of Hamilton?
/u/FakingReallyWell [5'5.5" | 134 lbs | 22.1 | -22 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Oct 17 08:27:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57xlab/is_anyone_else_here_a_fan_of_hamilton/
---


I've been binging so much I haven't lost any weight for a month, and I'm getting really impatient with myself and annoyed that I can't lose weight faster.

The [lyrics from 'Wait for it' ](http://genius.com/Lin-manuel-miranda-wait-for-it-lyrics) from Hamilton are so good, and listening to this song really makes me feel better. Especially the line "I am the one thing in life I can control". It reminds me that I am the one that decides what I eat and what I don't eat and I can control my binges. Also, it's just an amazing song :)

Anyone else have any non-ED related songs that help them relax and feel better?

[Rant/Rave] Travel tips?
/u/Annabelise
Created: Mon Oct 17 08:18:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57xjpt/travel_tips/
---
Hi y'all. Ive made a few posts/comments on here before under my main account, but now a friend knows about that account and it has to be scrubbed (sigh).

Anyways, I need some advice about sticking to your goals while travelling!

First though, a rant: (feel free to rant about your own stuff in the comments as well)

I just spent four days up in the Himalayas hiking and partying, and sticking to my calorie limits (so I thought). The last day, after a two hour exhausting hike we sit down at a restaurant. Both the guys I'm with order pasta and pizza and milkshakes and all that shit, but I get a falafel, and only eat about 75%. My friend (the one that knows about my main account) announces he's done with his pizza and offers it to the table. Feeling good about the past few days, I pick a tiny bit of cheese off the pizza and eat it.

"Moment on the lips, lifetime on the hips" is what pizza-friend then says to me, with a chuckle. I make a joke back and then drink some water and the topic changes.

Obviously I then excuse myself and go throw everything up in the squat toilet aways off. Idiot has no idea what that saying even means, says "I just heard it somewhere, thought it was funny"
Fuck me man. I ended up weighing only a pound less than when I started the trip, which isn't terrible but I thought I was getting way more exercise than I actually was I guess.

SO, I'm going to Europe tomorrow for two weeks with the intention of stopping through Amsterdam first. Because of this fact especially, I need a plan. How do I not binge while partying in Europe? I dont want to have to purge on vacation, there's very little chance of getting away with it and I don't want to bring all my purging supplies (mouthwash etc)

I'm going mainly through Germany and Italy and I know all I'll want is food food FOOD and it's going to be straight restaurants for the next 14 days!

Help???

[Other] It's so obvious that Random Redditors come here and just downvote everything.
/u/High_as_red [5'4 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 17 08:14:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57xiyt/its_so_obvious_that_random_redditors_come_here/
---
You do not gave to hate something just because you do not understand it.

[Other] MFP friends?
/u/citrus_cunt [5' 9"| 139lbs | 19.5| +2lbs | F]
Created: Mon Oct 17 07:39:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57xcyv/mfp_friends/
---
I've finally learned the hard way that I need to be held accountable, and the best way to do that is to have other people to work with. So I'd really love to be anyone's friend on MFP. I gained 15lbs and could use all the encouragement and friendly competition I can get.

My username is sour_clam with a picture of jasper from Steven Universe flexing.


Please be my friend!! :)

[Discussion] Anyone else have trouble sleeping on an empty stomach?
/u/depressionbunny [5'6" | 138 | 22.6 | -12 | FM]
Created: Mon Oct 17 07:30:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57xbf6/anyone_else_have_trouble_sleeping_on_an_empty/
---
My body will NOT allow me to snooze unless I eat something. Even Benadryl and other sleep aids are worthless without something substantial to digest. I say substantial because I've tried tricking my body with broth and a bunch of water, but it fucking *knows*.

Anyway, now I just budget some of my calories to be consumed as a midnight snack, usually cookie dough protein bars and a glass of diluted milk- admittedly that sounds awful, but hey, so is everything else about EDs. Haha



[Tip] Fasting Physiology - Part II (There are three parts, but this one may interest people here the most)
/u/smokesanddietcokes [Adipose Industries]
Created: Mon Oct 17 06:38:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57x33y/fasting_physiology_part_ii_there_are_three_parts/
---
https://intensivedietarymanagement.com/fasting-physiology-part-ii/

[Intro] Created an account to finally say hi!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 17 06:04:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57wy5t/created_an_account_to_finally_say_hi/
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[deleted]

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! October 17, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Oct 17 06:03:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57wy1j/weekly_stats_update_october_17_2016/
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This is the weekly status thread for October 17, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

*****

Status threads are posted every Monday.

Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Discussion] How do you measure your progress?
/u/YourChinaDoll [5'1" | SW: 169 | CW: 124.8 |F]
Created: Mon Oct 17 05:56:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57wx24/how_do_you_measure_your_progress/
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This morning I woke up at the lowest weight that I've ever weighed myself, but I wasn't excited or happy about it. It still feels too high and I feel fatter than ever. But then I took some pictures and compared them to pictures of about 15 pounds ago, and I could see noticeable differences that made me feel a lot better, like what I was doing was worth it. It was really motivating. How do you measure your progress?

[Intro] First post! And first EC stack!
/u/avocadoshell
Created: Mon Oct 17 05:41:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57wv6s/first_post_and_first_ec_stack/
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[removed]

[Rant/Rave] Okay, lol, I'm back
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell [H: 5"8 | BMI: 18.7 | WL: -24 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 17 05:01:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57wqaj/okay_lol_im_back/
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Had fun tricking myself thinking I could be normal. I restricted perfectly for a week, had two binge days and a terrible night after taking a package of laxatives.

But it was fun. Time to get back on track and fade away.

[Thinspo] The most beautiful ribs I have ever seen
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 17 04:42:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57wo86/the_most_beautiful_ribs_i_have_ever_seen/
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http://imgur.com/a/4db0e

[Help] Help! My boyfriend is being frustrating.
/u/electille [5'7 | 123 | 19.2 | ?]
Created: Mon Oct 17 04:13:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57wl9k/help_my_boyfriend_is_being_frustrating/
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My boyfriend has type 1 diabetes, and knows about my ED. He refuses to eat if I don't eat, which is a serious fucking health risk for him.

I know he's doing it because he cares, tough love and tryna use how much I care about his wellbeing to help me get better or whatever, but it just makes me feel super shitty cause I CAN'T eat certain days and I'd feel so responsible if he fainted or something.

What do?

[Help] I was waiting for this and now I'm not sure if I like it.
/u/Skinnytw [5'6 | 110 |17.8| F]
Created: Mon Oct 17 04:02:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57wk4z/i_was_waiting_for_this_and_now_im_not_sure_if_i/
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I saw a few posts about wanting people to comment on your weight loss... I was no different. I wanted my boyfriend to give a fuck. To magically know what is happening to me and be really sweet about it. Well, it happened. And now I want to hide under the couch like the big fat cat I once owned.

He said I can't lose more weight. I can get thinner, that's ok, but not weigh less. He made me stand on the scale in front of him, which was the most downgrading thing in our relationship ever. He said I'm pretty the way I am. He wanted to look at my naked body and complimented everything. On the one hand he makes me feel great about my weight loss, on the other hand he acts like he's concerned... He asked me a bunch of awkward questions, like if I thought I ate too much and if I felt big. I think it was the way I got really uncomfortable about it and tried to avoid answering his questions. So now he probably knows. I don't know what to do. He's the best thing that ever happened to me, his reaction is exactly how I wanted it to be, but I liked it better when I was alone in this battle...

What would you do when someone finally finds out? How should this failing fairy tale continue?

[Goal] BEAUTIFUL HUMANS 💕 it's a new week! Which means - a fresh start, forgetting last weeks downfalls and making positive steps towards reaching the person you want to be! Don't be hung up on last weeks binges, people's comments and sadden moments. Grab this week by the balls and SHINE LIKE THE SUN 🌸🎀
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 17 02:49:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57wd1l/beautiful_humans_its_a_new_week_which_means_a/
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[deleted]

Probably the best and worst thing to ever hit the market.
/u/ohrissa [64" | 🐋🐋 | 28 | 3lbs | Ladyish]
Created: Mon Oct 17 01:55:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57w7zr/probably_the_best_and_worst_thing_to_ever_hit_the/
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http://steempb.com/

Caffeinated PB

150mg Per Serving
1200mg Per Jar


WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!

[Discussion] Binge Simulator 2009
/u/RetailSlaveNo1 [5'2 | CW 164.8 | GW 95 | 31.22]
Created: Mon Oct 17 01:28:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57w5e7/binge_simulator_2009/
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I'm replaying one of my favorite games, Katamari Forever, and there's a level where you have to 'consume' as many kcals as possible. I just had over a million kcals in the game lmao.

But it really reminds me of how I am with binging. Eat anything. I don't care what. Everything in sight, just shove it down. I wouldn't be surprised if I've had thousand calorie binges (before i started logging binges so idk).

Anyway just wanted to share. Just playing that made me grossed out with food haha so it's a good binge stopped actually.

[Goal] I was surprised by my own legs today
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 | 88ish lbs | 16.Something | -24 | f]
Created: Mon Oct 17 00:09:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57vwy2/i_was_surprised_by_my_own_legs_today/
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http://imgur.com/tVKSAOQ

[Discussion] Never Enough
/u/1legallyblonde [5'10| GW 135 | -45 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 16 23:56:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57vvf9/never_enough/
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I like to think we all have our bad days and yesterday was mine. I realized last night that I will never be enough. I will never be thin enough, pretty enough or smart enough. No matter what I do. I feel like a useless piece of crap. Starting tomorrow the only way I know how.. fasting until I can't stand it. Anyone else ever feel this way sometimes?

[Rant/Rave] I hate my belly fat
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 16 23:06:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57vpfi/i_hate_my_belly_fat/
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[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Conversation with the boyfriend
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 16 23:04:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57vp4z/conversation_with_the_boyfriend/
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[deleted]

[Tip] To those of us who have gained weight or simply not made the progress we've hoped for.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | 145.8 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 16 22:48:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57vn5j/to_those_of_us_who_have_gained_weight_or_simply/
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Keep going.

It's not going to be as neat and tidy as we've hoped. We like to plug out stats into Losertown and see how perfectly our numbers drop as long as we 'stick to the plan'.

The end of the year is when a fair amount of people gain weight. Cool weather, lots of food, etc. and then people 'start over' on January 1st.

January 1st is in 11 weeks. Where do you want to be then? Imagine 11 weeks ago you had pushed yourself and where you would be now. Be ahead of the curve on January 1st. Finish out the year strong.

Few of us are happy with our progress or current situation, but we can change that. Remember that progress is not simply a neat, downward line. It's up, down, sideways, and everything in between. But as long as it keeps heading towards your goal, it's good.

Focus on getting today right. And if it's not perfect? Don't drag it into tomorrow. And don't make it worse. Accept what you've done, learn from it, and keep going.

-----

Right now, I am the weight I was exactly one year ago. It's as if the whole year of fasting, restricting, binging, etc. did not even happen. All of the ups and downs and I'm back. All the thoughts of the progress I could have made or where I should be come flooding in. But it's done. I can't redo anything. I can only take what I've learned and move forward.

I know what weight I was at the end of last year and I know I can pass that before the end of this one. I know that as long as I keep going, it'll be alright. I've learned so much in the past year and can apply it now. I can prove to myself I can do it.

So just keep going.

how much do you guys lose and how many calories per week do you consume?
/u/KajaIsForeverAlone [height:5'9 | CW: 147 BMI:21 | weight lost:15 lbs | Gender: F]
Created: Sun Oct 16 22:19:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57vj9q/how_much_do_you_guys_lose_and_how_many_calories/
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[removed]

[Rant/Rave] I dont even know what to do anymore
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 16 22:17:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57vj17/i_dont_even_know_what_to_do_anymore/
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[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] "I'm fine" when I'm really probably not.
/u/cigarettesandmatcha [5'2" | CW 100 | GW 95 | UGW 90 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 16 21:51:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57vfde/im_fine_when_im_really_probably_not/
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the pounds are dropping off slowly, but I've more or less stopped eating, so I try not to think about it. I rarely weigh myself nowadays. I don't work out anymore. I'm starting to feel the weakness again and when I try to eat, I get sick and can't keep it down. it's been years since I've been at this low of a weight but it's not even that low. my body is stupid.

I met a guy, and we love each other, which is also stupid. there's too much of a clash between us. he wants kids, he wants me to gain weight, he wants happiness. I'm still downing pain killers whenever the pain is too much and flirting with self destruction when that isn't enough. he's crazy. I wouldn't want me.

funny but I don't want anyone to worry. I feel like I'm too old now for the whole cry for help thing. I'm just used to my ways and I don't really want to change. I cut out the really harmful vices and what's left over isn't that bad. I turned 27 a couple of weeks back.

I get that this sense of control is a farce. I get that I'm toying with my life and fucking up my health, yet again. I get that I have the power to shift things and push through this storm too. it just the self destructive habits help take the edge off all the sadness and emptiness that fills up every corner of my mind.

I don't know. I don't want to romanticize what this feels like, because it's not fun, it's not nice, and I don't wish it on anyone. but it's my life. just wanted to share these feelings somewhere I could be understood.

something nice: I don't hate myself in shorts at the moment!

[Other] Love this bra 🍂
/u/frailraven [5'10 | CW 117 | LW 115 | F20]
Created: Sun Oct 16 21:43:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57ve7n/love_this_bra/
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http://i.imgur.com/qcvve82.jpg

[Rant/Rave] classic Binge Brain chiming in pre-beach trip
/u/disbeetch [5'3'' | 140 | 23.7 | -34 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 16 21:23:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57vbc1/classic_binge_brain_chiming_in_prebeach_trip/
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i'm going to the beach this week so naturally i'm eating a pint of halo top in bed right now, the nightcap to an extremely binge-y weekend. whyyyyyy

[Rant/Rave] lapse vs. relapse
/u/greyhoundpaws
Created: Sun Oct 16 20:35:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57v47g/lapse_vs_relapse/
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I'm a recovering bulimic and been purge free (and mostly binge free) for a couple of months now. I felt like I was really making progress, the urges to binge got easier to ignore... And then this week all I can think about is binging and for some reason I can't be bothered to talk myself out of it. The worst binge so far just happened 5 minutes ago: a baguette (basically the length of my arm) with butter and cheese, 2 chocolate bars and an ice cream cone. And now I'm lying here wanting to purge but at the same time not wanting to break my 2 months without purging!

When will this be over??? I thought of myself as well on the way towards recovery but now I feel like I'm relapsing. Is it just a lapse, can I still come back from this, or have I basically lost all the progress I've made and jumped right back into it?

I'm starting a keto diet in 2 weeks (which my therapist would not agree with, but I've put on so much weight in the past year and just can't take it anymore... Plus I feel like it will really help with the binging and cravings since I mostly binge on carbs), which I think gave me the excuse of “I might as well eat all this since I won't be able to eat any of it soon”, which I've been using all week. Not smart, I know.

This probably isn't very coherent, just needed to rant (and distract myself so I don't purge). Thanks for listening.

Edit: (On mobile so can't flair, sorry!)

[Other] Body check 10/16 124lbs
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 16 19:56:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57uy3f/body_check_1016_124lbs/
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http://i.imgur.com/z8Iu9bm.jpg

[Goal] Starting this week off with a 1-Day fast
/u/Wildrumpus273172
Created: Sun Oct 16 19:53:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57uxot/starting_this_week_off_with_a_1day_fast/
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Starting in 8 minutes, I'm gonna go for about 36 hours. I went way over my goal today so it should balance me out!

[Rant/Rave] Need Some Support
/u/venetianrosequartz [5'6"|CW 142|HW 145|LW 130|GW 135|UGW 112|WL -3| BMI 22.9|Female]
Created: Sun Oct 16 19:39:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57uvfg/need_some_support/
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After like... a solid week of binging I weighed myself and I gained five pounds :( I'm so upset and it doesn't help that today I saw my girlfriend who is so so much skinnier than me. I feel so fat and bloated like I can physically feel the fat hanging off of me.

This week I'm gearing up to restrict again, 500 or less. I feel so suicidal but I decided its better to restrict than do something I'll permanently regret.


I just need some well wishes and some voices to help me on the straight and narrow. But mini accomplishment: throughout all that binging I didn't purge once!!!

Pls flair as rant

[Rant/Rave] "You look healthy!"
/u/slytherlin [5'5" | CW: 128 | GW:116 | NB]
Created: Sun Oct 16 19:25:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57utay/you_look_healthy/
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My grandma was visiting me this weekend and started complimenting me by saying, "You look very fit!!" (which was a very awesome compliment to get since I've been weight lifting), but then she had to smile and say, "Healthy. You look healthy!"

Instant dismay. People told me I looked "healthy" when I was overweight. They said I looked "healthy" when I was muuuuch fatter and when, looking back, I was absolutely gross looking. I don't want to look healthy - I want people to say I'm skinny, slim, sure, I'll take fit.


My ED had already come back last week after being """"recovering""""" for a while and weight lifting. This just confirms how much it's definitely back, lol. Being hurt by being called healthy-looking is such a disordered thought pattern. ¯\\_(ツ) _/¯

That's what I get for putting five pounds back on tho. Even if it was mostly muscle.


[Help] Tips for fasting at university?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 16 19:11:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57uqy7/tips_for_fasting_at_university/
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[deleted]

[Meme/Humor] Tfw not sure if legs or sausages
/u/apricaught [5'3.5"| CW 116.8 |LW 114.2| 20.85| -16| F]
Created: Sun Oct 16 19:03:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57upqw/tfw_not_sure_if_legs_or_sausages/
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http://www.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/2013719/rs_560x415-130819161905-1024.HotDogLegs.jpg

[Help] plateau blues
/u/Kaylalalamae [5'11"| CW:195| LW:158 | HW:240 | F28]
Created: Sun Oct 16 18:39:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57um23/plateau_blues/
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First post, this community seems amazing and I've been struggling with this plateau and just looking for some help or support.

I've been back into restricting/purging for about two months. I managed to lose about 15 pounds pretty easily but I've been stuck for the last 2.5 weeks. I've tried everything I know to break it and so far nothing has worked. I think I need to just give it time but it's really frustrating when you're working so hard and not seeing results.

Anyways, I eat less than 1000 calories a day (anywhere from 400-800 usually). I binge/purge occasionally although I haven't done that for about 2 weeks. I work out 2-3 times a week with light cardio and weight lifting.

In the past I've been able to increase my intake and "wake up" my metabolism to break a plateau but I tried that and I'm still stuck.

What things do you do to break a plateau?

[Goal] 6th day of fasting: updates on my previous post
/u/almightylurker [5'1" | 163.2 | 30.8 | -51.8 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 16 18:39:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57um15/6th_day_of_fasting_updates_on_my_previous_post/
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Before fast weight: 176.4

Current weight: 166.6 (lol)

This is going much better than expected. My longest fast was 3 days that ended in a ravenous binge. But this time is so different. After I reached the 4th day my hunger is completely gone, I feel really clear headed, and I can actually say I have collarbones now.

The downsides so far is the mild joint pains, some muscle cramps, and I can't get up or move too fast or else I feel like I'm going to black out. I've just been drinking lots of water, moving slowly, and resting a little more than normal.

I might have to end the fast next Saturday (unless I feel good enough to continue) as I have my first ever job interview on Monday and might need the little boost that food provides. I'll update you guys when I reach my goal and/or break the fast. Love you all!

[Goal] New week, new fast
/u/EmpireStateBitch [5'4" | CW 120 | GW 115 | UGW 100 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 16 18:01:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57ufu2/new_week_new_fast/
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Did my usual weekend binge, even though I said I wouldn't. Starting the week with a fast! Anyone else?

[Meme/Humor] That binge..
/u/Skinnytw [5'6 | 110 |17.8| F]
Created: Sun Oct 16 18:00:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57ufmr/that_binge/
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http://imgur.com/KViiowI

[Rant/Rave] I miss my ED... mobile so no flair.
/u/TitsWithRoses [5'3" | CW:160 |-21 | GW:107]
Created: Sun Oct 16 17:34:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57ubbr/i_miss_my_ed_mobile_so_no_flair/
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So about two years ago, after years of struggling, I finally reached my GW of 102. I was so in love with the way my body looked and managed to keep my weight under 110 until june of last year when my mother passed away. I only ever restricted, but since her death I can't control myself. I've put on almost 40lbs and I just feel like a huge blob... recently I've started to get back into and have lost about 13lbs but I just can't stay on track the way I used to. Just wanted to rant I guess...

[Rant/Rave] It's so obvious Random Reddit people come here and just downvote everything.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 16 17:25:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57u9xp/its_so_obvious_random_reddit_people_come_here_and/
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[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Frustrated #rt
/u/dirtandherbs [Height 5'2 | CW 102 | BMI 18.02 | Female]
Created: Sun Oct 16 16:58:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/57u56u/frustrated_rt/
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I don't tell anyone about my past with an ED... so nobody really knows. (I moved recently which makes this pretty easy.) I can tell I'm beginning to relapse, but it's nice. It's like visiting an old friend. I'm not sure if I really want to recover or not. Nothing has even happened recently to make me feel this way. Just, out of the blue, remember that thing you used to do? That thing that made you feel so nice? That made